Battle for Dominus Pillowus

On a backwater Imperial planet. a Guardsman buys a Celestine Bodypillow from a passing Rogue Trader. Fearing reprise from an angry Commissar, he tattles on the Commissar's xenofucking habits to a Priest. Said priest turns out to be an undercover Inquisitor investigating Commissar Xenofucker. The Inquisitor begins a sting operation and the local Regiment splits between the loyalists and the Taufuckers.

Characters

This section includes all characters involved in this clusterfuck.

Imperial Forces

Imperial Guard

Commissar Xenofucker

Saint Waifu Commander

Sanctioned Psyker who was almost raped by Daemonette

Marcus

Guardsman who was almost raped by Eldar

Assortment of Kriegers

Random Harmonica Guardsman

Space Marines

Penicillus, Apothecary of the Deathwing

Ultramarine Bro

Minotaurs

Blood Ravens

Deathwatch

Sisters of Battle

Living Saint Celestein (not Celestine)

Living Saint Celestine (not Celestein)

Canoness Olivia III, Order of the August Vigil

Sister Lydia

Animal-loving Sister Hospitaller

Mechanicus

Enginseer Mike L33: Used an Earthshaker Cannon on Daemon Prince Commissar Xenofucker.

Magos Xenobiologis: Realised entire biosphere of planet was in fact devolved Tyranids.

Dominus Exitium Imperator-Class Battle Titan responsible for the recovery of the Æonic Orb. Got smacked about by Orknids

Archmagos Magnificus Apparatos Responsible for the deployment of Titan legions on the planet as a means to both capture the Orb and avoid an Exterminatus

Inquisition

Xeno Hunting Inquisitor:

Ordo Malleus Inquisitor: Showed up late to the party, and when he found out about the Tau-Slaanesh-Daemon Engune-Craftworld, left for the nearest Imperial Port to get drunk.

Xenos

Eldar

Thirsty Farseer: Was infected by a disease made by Nurgle, who wanted to boost Eldar birthdates so as to make Isha happy. Tried to rape Guardsman, but Psykerbro kept her away.

Constantiy-respawning Eldar: Died over and over again, eventually defecting to Imperial forces. Was a titan at one point in time.

Dark Eldar: Went raiding. Some of them took advantage of the vorefest between the Hive Fleet and the Daemon Engine Craftworld to get more suffering and ecstasy.

Tyranid/Ork/Orkanids?

Gitsmacka

DokTank

Hivefleet

Planetary Hivemind

Rapevines

Necrons

Necron Lord I

Necron Lord II

Unnamed Destroyer Lord

Æonic Orb

Tau

Ethereal

Slaneshau Leader

Slaneshi Diplothot

Chaos Forces

Slaaneshi

Daemonette: Developed a hug fetish. Has a crush on Psykerbro.

Chaos Lord Vögeln: Chaos Lord of the "Alluring Ostriches" warband. Failed in his mission by Slaanesh him/her/itself to cum on the Celestine Bodypillow, and was turned into Chaos Spawn for his failure. Wait no-AAASJEHDUBEUJSIJSJ

Gallery

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