/TG/heim:Da Burrs (Outlaws of Stirwood Forest)
Intro and Ongoing story
Da Burrs are a professional American football team based in Chicago, Illinois. They are members of the North Division of the National Football Conference (NFC) in the National Football League (NFL). Da Burrs have won nine (9) NFL Championships (eight pre-merger, and one Super Bowl). Da Burrs hold the NFL record for the most enshrinees in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, with 27 members, and the most retired jersey numbers (13). Da Burrs have also recorded more regular season and overall victories than any other NFL franchise. The franchise recorded its 700th win on November 18, 2010.
Due to a temporal rift caused by Jay Cutler throwing enough interceptions in one game against the Detroit Lions to defy the laws of nature, Da Burrs were flung far into the past, picking up old members of the franchise on their way through time. Although disoriented from being tossed like ragdolls into the ruined hellscape of Mordheim, they made the understandable assumption that they had simply been thrown outside the stadium and into the streets of Detroit. They have made it their quest to return to Ford Field and settle the score, finding the remainder of their roster as they go. Although confused by the ferocity of the assumed residents of Detroit's back alleys, they learned quickly to adapt, one major advantage of their new surroundings being that arrows are much more difficult for the opposing team to intercept than footballs.
Warband Rating: 162
Locker Room
Gold Crowns: 38
Wyrdstone Shards: 0
Equipment: None
Players
Lovey Smith
Bandit Leader. (33 XP)
Lovie Lee Smith (born May 8, 1958) is the former head coach of Da Burrs professional football team of the NFL. Smith has been to Da Superb Owl twice, as the defensive coordinator for the 2001 St. Louis Rams and as the head coach for Da Burrs in 2006. Da Burrs fired Smith on December 31, 2012 when the team failed to reach the playoffs after achieving a 7-1 record at the season's halfway point.
After being thrown out in disgrace from his position as coach but lacking the will to commit sudoku as would befit a man of his stature, Smith traveled the lands as a warrior without a lord, a modern ronin wandering through a world that had abandoned him. He honed his skills with bow and blade, dreaming of the day when he would earn enough standing in Shogun Roger Goodell's eyes to ascend back to a position of honor. On the fateful day of Cutler's reality-defying performance at Ford Field, he was transported along with the other members of the franchise to Mordheim. With the most experience by far, he was regarded as the de facto leader of the ragtag survivors and eagerly took the helm, ready to put his introspection and training to good use in the quest to defeat the Lions and regain his standing among men.
Smith took a mighty blow to his ego when he called a bad formation in his first match against a group of skilled marksmen. Although eager to make up for his failure, he has become prone to excessive overthinking, and occasionally will miss an entire skirmish for fear of making a bad play. After recent matches, however, he has regained a certain amount of determination, and once his plan is in place he is reluctant to leave the battlefield even after taking a hit that would incapacitate another. His strength has also increased greatly; despite his age, his muscles have grown to peak performance. His eyes aren't as bad as his enemies might think, as well--his experience on the battlefield has allowed him to put shot after shot exactly where it needs to go.
| M | WS | BS | S | T | W | I | A | Ld |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | 4 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 1 | 8 |
Equipment: Longbow, Light Armor, Helmet, Shield, Sword, Lucky Charm, Master Map.
Special: Old Wound
Dan Hampton, Ghost of
Cleric. (13 XP)
Daniel Oliver Hampton also known as "Danimal" (born September 19, 1957) is a retired Hall of Fame American football defensive tackle who played twelve seasons for Da Burrs from 1979 to 1990 in the National Football League. He was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2002. Hampton previously hosted pre- and post-game shows for Da Burrs on WGN Radio in Chicago.
Hampton had left his football career long ago, abandoning his stint as a fearsome berzerker and slayer of men, wanting to spend his life with his family instead. He found tranquility outside of the arena and spent most of his days in quiet reflection, attaining a transcendence not common of former Burrs. Things changed, however, when he was whisked away to the City of the Dead--torn from his comfortable surroundings, Hampton reverted to his more bestial nature. The teammates that came upon him found him weeping naked among a pile of bloodied corpses, the former Hall of Famer having destroyed them utterly with a heavy steel mace. Although he is averse to violence under normal circumstances, when placed in mortal combat Hampton's alternate persona "The Danimal" sometimes rises to the surface, and God help the doomed soul that stands in his way.
Hampton was trapped under a pile of rubble when a building collapsed on top of him in his first organized battle, but he was fortunate enough to make a full recovery. The shock drove him into a frenzy, making it necessary for two of his teammates to drag him from the field. This was only a slight setback in comparison to his next scrap, however--he sustained multiple chest wounds from the wicked daggers of the leader of a Skaven warband, and unfortunately his companions could not revive him. However, the strange skies of Mordheim had other plans for the deceased Hall of Famer--mere minutes after his death, a ghostly specter arose from his cadaver. While he is no longer prone to sometimes beneficial fits of rage, he now enjoys a greatly increased resistance to magic as well as a better shot at penetrating armor in melee, thanks to his incorporeal form. His new body also occasionally "phases out," which gives him a change to dodge blows as though the spectral armor he wears is real. Even when blows connect with him, his body can often regain its structure--it takes twice as many blows to successfully dissipate his form as it would a normal man.
After smashing a Possessed warband, Hampton discovered that throwing Gatorade bottles at the demonic entities causes them to dissolve into nothingness.
| M | WS | BS | S | T | W | I | A | Ld |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 7 |
Equipment: Longbow, Axe, Helmet, Light Armor, Shield, Lucky Charm, Gatorade Bottle (blessed water) x2.
Skills: Wyrdstone Hunter.
Prayers: Shield of Faith.
Jay Cutler
Champion. (17 XP)
Jay Christopher Cutler (born April 29, 1983) is an American football quarterback for Da Burrs of the National Football League (NFL). He played college football for Vanderbilt University. Cutler began his professional football career with the Denver Broncos, who selected him as the 11th overall pick of the 2006 NFL Draft. He spent three seasons with the Broncos and was selected to the Pro Bowl in his final year. He was traded to Da Burrs in 2009.
What started out as a standard pre-season game versus the Detroit Lions would turn out to be anything but, and all of it started with Jay Cutler. The greatest minds of the 20th and 21st centuries--Einstein, Hawking, Tyson, and others--had all come to the same fundamental conclusion: As a quarterback prompts more and more turnovers, the amount of concentrated hatred directed toward that player creates a "bulge" in the space-time continuum, and while in theory this force could come close to a postulated ceiling, it could never break it. Through sheer chance, however, one man would prove them all wrong. After countless sacks, strips, botched throws and straight-up fumbles, the eyes of hundreds of thousands of avid football devotees turned toward the unwitting quarterback, and at the precise second that Detroit Lions offensive tackle Riley Reiff gained control of the football at the six-yard line due to Cutler's seeming inability to pass the ball to his two uncovered receivers a deafening crack sounded throughout the stadium. From nowhere, a rift in time opened directly beneath Cutler's feet, aether lightning spewing from the crimson vortex as the players on the field began to dematerialize and disappear into the gaping maw of unreality. One by one Da Burrs were sucked into the past, each of them landing somewhere in the untamed streets of Mordheim. Cutler was fortunate enough to land near several of his other teammates, and if ever he had a chance at redemption, this is it. He has taken up the bow instead of the ball, and has become a fantastic marksman--he has found that by aiming at his own allies, the shots he releases consistently and miraculously land dead-center in the chests of his opponents.
Cutler's constant search for redemption has led him to train harder than the rest of his fellows, and as such he has learned to loose arrows with astounding speed. His rate of fire has easily doubled that of his compatriots, and he may yet earn their respect. His cockiness sometimes gets the better of him, though--he sometimes makes his own shots more difficult to land just because he feels like showing off. This isn't necessarily a downside in combat, however--his arrows can dig even the craftiest of enemies out of their holes like a spade. Recently he has garnered no small amount of standing from the scars he bears on his face--he wears them proudly, and they do indeed warrant a certain amount of respect, although as much out of fear as anything else. He has also learned to judge shots from extreme distances, and can loose arrows across the field with dazzling accuracy.
| M | WS | BS | S | T | W | I | A | Ld |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 7 |
Equipment: Longbow, Hunting Arrows, Helmet, Mace, Lucky Charm.
Skills: Quick Shot, Trick Shot, Eagle Eye, Scars.
Richard Dent
Champion. (10 XP)
Richard Lamar Dent (born December 13, 1960) is a former American football defensive end, who played primarily for Da Burrs of the National Football League. He was the MVP of Super Bowl XX. He was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2011. After graduating in 1983, and playing four years at Tennessee State University, Dent was drafted in the eighth round by Da Burrs, with 203rd overall pick in the 1983 NFL Draft. At 6 ft 5 in, 265 lb (120 kg), Dent was a great pass rusher who beat offensive tackles with his speed. He was part of the core of great players who made Da Burrs' defenses of the 1980s legendary. Between 1984 and 1985, Dent recorded 34.5 sacks.
Dent appeared to Da Burrs shortly after the passing of Urlacher and Tillman, and while he was a welcome sight, the jarring shock of being thrown through a rift in time seems to have somewhat unhinged him. While still a spectacular defensive player, his tactics consist mostly of "running forward to brutally assault the enemy team's leader," who he is convinced is that team's quarterback. His team has managed to strap a shield and armor onto him to try and increase his survivability, but his wanton disregard for his own life is less than promising. Smith insists on having him hang back and defend as much as possible, but he does not always listen. When charging toward the front, the only thing that can be heard is the chilling dirge that he sings until the enemy has fled or been crushed:
"The sackman's comin', I'm your man Dent. If the quarterback's slow, he's gonna get bent. We stop the run, we stop the pass, I like to dump guys on their ass! We love to play for the world's best fans, you better start makin' your Super Bowl plans!"
| M | WS | BS | S | T | W | I | A | Ld |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 7 |
Equipment: Longbow, Light Armor, Helmet, Shield, Sword, Lucky Charm.
Devin Hester
Petty Thief. (9 XP)
Devin Hester (born November 4, 1982) is an American football wide receiver and return specialist for Da Burrs of the National Football League (NFL). He played college football for the University of Miami, where he was the first player in the university’s recent history to play in all three phases of American football (offense, defense, special teams).
Devin Hester thought--no, he knew--that he could do it all. Offense, defense, everything in between, relying on his speed and agility to break through the opposition and be in exactly the right place at exactly the right time. Quick on his feet and sharp in his speech, he was set up to go far--but he never could've imagined how far Mordheim was from Ford Field on that fateful day. His penchant for agility belies his preference for heavy weaponry; his footwork combined with his heavy warhammer makes a dangerous combination that enemies weak and strong have trouble opposing. He gives little thought to his own safety, however--it may take a few solid blows to remind Hester that Mordheim isn't just a game.
Hester has indeed taken some solid hits during his tenure in the ruined city, and he has paid for it in a way. After a Skaven knife struck true into his torso but miraculously missed his vitals, he developed a paranoia that makes him more prone to hesitation and occasional clumsiness. This fear is not separate from prudence, however, and he now shows more resolve in the face of danger. Although he is still slow and not entirely accurate, the strength he has built constantly wielding his warhammer has given him the ability to strike with a flurry of blows. He has also learned to dodge blows instead of take them--his natural caution meshes well with his preferred style of agility over brute strength. During a brutal fight against a band of Middenheim Mercenaries, Da Burrs were divided into two flanks, with Smith leading one charge and Hester leading the other. While Smith had no trouble fending off his side of the field, Hester crushed his--his teammates have even whispered of him being a more solid tactician than their coach himself.
| M | WS | BS | S | T | W | I | A | Ld |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 9 |
Equipment: Longbow, Helmet, Double-handed weapon, Lucky Charm.
Skills: Step Aside.
Rex Grossmen
Marksmen (5). (6 XP)
Rex Daniel Grossman III (born August 23, 1980) is an American football quarterback for the Washington Redskins of the National Football League (NFL). Grossman played college football for the University of Florida. He was selected by the Da Burrs in the first round of the 2003 NFL Draft, and has also played professionally for the NFL's Houston Texans. As a college quarterback, Grossman led the Florida Gators to the 2000 Southeastern Conference (SEC) Championship, the 2001 Sugar Bowl, the 2002 Orange Bowl and the 2003 Outback Bowl. He was a consensus first-team All-American and was the runner-up for the Heisman Trophy in 2001. Grossman spent most of his first three NFL seasons with Da Burrs sidelined with injuries. He completed his first full NFL season in 2006, leading Da Burrs to a National Football Conference Championship and a Superb Owl berth. He lost his starting job three weeks into the 2007 season, and primarily served as the team's backup quarterback afterward. He spent a year as a back-up quarterback for the Houston Texans in 2009, before becoming the Washington Redskins' starting quarterback in the final three games of the 2010 season.
Rex Grossman thought his days with Da Burrs were over--he had been thrown from the franchise in disgrace after abysmal performance in crucial moments, and none but the lowest of rosters would sign him on. The rift opened by his successor, however, would change everything--it would give him a chance to prove himself as something other than incompetent, should he survive the trials necessary. He goes into combat with fervor, and while his quality is far from heroic, he has not yet failed the team in such a way that it would warrant his dismissal. He knows he must avoid any noticeable blunders for as long as possible, for in Mordheim, dismissal is as good as death.
While his passing game has always been spectacular (one way or the other), Grossman has recently put more work into his skill in close quarters. He can strike twice in the time it takes an opponent to swing once, and he knows right where to connect in order to deliver a stunning blow.
More recently, Grossman stumbled into an experimental Skaven cloning machine, mistaking it for an outhouse. One man entered; three left, much to the chagrin of his teammates who were not fond of his occasionally excessive pride. This device has proved useful for replenishing Da Burrs' line, although each one insists that they are the original copy, and unfortunately they are indistinguishable--the group has collectively been called "The Grossmen," an obvious play on his last name. While occasionally annoying, they are undoubtedly useful--although they have eschewed most of their ranged skill (with the exception of their short pass), they bring an onslaught of close-combat attacks that was heavily lacking in the group before.
| M | WS | BS | S | T | W | I | A | Ld |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | 4 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 7 |
Equipment: Shortbows, Swords, Maces.
The Retired
Champion. (13 XP)
Brian Keith Urlacher (born May 25, 1978) was an American football linebacker who last played for Da Burrs of the National Football League (NFL). He played college football for the University of New Mexico, where he was recognized as an All-American and became one of the school's most decorated athletes. Da Burrs selected Urlacher with the ninth overall pick in the 2000 NFL Draft, and he played his entire professional career with the team.
Disgusted with his team's constant disappointments, Urlacher tried to leave Da Burrs behind him. On the evening of Cutler's "event," however, Urlacher realized as he found himself in the ruins of Mordheim that his fate was inexorably tied to that of his former allies', and that was something that not even a rift in time could change. With a heavy heart he took up his armor, his sword, and his shield, and returned to his calling as a defensive linebacker in a much more lethal arena. He stood tall as an immovable rock, taking hits from sling and spear with no trouble, blows cascading off his body like so many offensive linemen. His face showed little more than grim determination, for he knew what had to be done--he had face the Lions for one last game, or die trying.
Through his many close-combat scraps in the ruined streets, Urlacher learned that it could be just as easy to step out of the way of an incoming blow as it is to try and block or parry it. Unfortunately, his sword arm was struck in combat with a group of foul Orcs--he had forsaken his training in melee and picked up the way of the bow, although his skill in taking hits had not diminished.
Urlacher was struck down in a battle against a group of Middenheimers, whose furious onslaught of close combat strikes were too much for the wearied blocker. His sword arm failed him at the worst moment, and a Valkyrie's sword struck true, cleaving his armor and opening an inoperable gash in his side. He collapsed into Lovey's arms just as their enemy's leader ordered the retreat, dying, but satisfied that he had given his all for the team.
| M | WS | BS | S | T | W | I | A | Ld |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 7 |
Equipment: Longbow, Light Armor, Helmet, Shield, Sword, Lucky Charm.
Skills: Step Aside.
Injuries: Hand Wound.
Marksman. (6 XP)
Charles "Peanut" Tillman (born February 23, 1981) was an American football cornerback for Da Burrs of the National Football League (NFL). He played college football for the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. He was selected by Da Burrs in the second round of the 2003 NFL Draft.
Tillman had every reason to be upset when Cutler threw the interception that changed his fate forever--it was his interception that had gotten the ball so deep into enemy territory in the first place, and watching the inevitable turnover from the sidelines would shake the spirits of anyone involved. But even the darkened skies of Mordheim couldn't crush Peanut's spirit--he intended to see their trials through to the end, and he knew it. Out of all Da Burrs that had been relocated to the ruined city, he maintained the most optimism--always quick with a joke even in the most dire of circumstances, and always positive even in the face of the harshest adversity. His small frame made him more comfortable in the backfield, but he could still throw a mean block when the situation called for it--and he'll would anything to protect his friends.
Tillman once risked his own life to drag his comrade Hester's badly wounded form from a rat-infested battlefield, and in doing so garnered respect from his teammates that exceeded any hesitation in trust they may have assumed by his small frame. His joviality was tempered with level-headedness, and would have been a fitting candidate to fill gaps in Smith's stratagems. The extra amount of responsibility he shouldered prompted him to sharpen his skills to befit a leader; even Cutler could not match Tillman's stunning accuracy.
Tillman was cut down by a raging Middenheimer while screening for Cutler; his broken bow and shattered mace lying on the ground next to his battered form. His last words were unheard, as the mercenary he blocked swiftly retreated as the battle went south for their side. His body was borne solemnly from the battlefield by the Grossmen, one of two of the comrades to have fallen on the same day. Out of all Da Burrs, he may be missed the most.
| M | WS | BS | S | T | W | I | A | Ld |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 8 |
Equipment: Longbow, Hunting Arrows, Mace.
Previous Scrimmages
3/18/13--Ambush against Sergei's Soldiers: Da Burrs seized an opportunity to ambush a group of marksmen wandering through a ruined suburb. Although their morale wass initially boosted by Hester putting a hunting arrow through the thigh of the opposing party's leader and guaranteeing a long recovery period for the unfortunate target, a massive wave of reinforcements appeared simultaneously to advance on Da Burrs, and they were forced to bunker up in a ruined tower. An impossibly placed blunderbuss shot from the opposition, however, brought the structure crashing down upon the group, and although no one was permanently injured, Smith's self-confidence took a major blow.
3/18/13--Chance encounter with Eskekekenek's Dirty Half-Dozen: During a downpour, Da Burrs came across a marauding group of Skaven and immediately set up a fortification from which they could fire a hail of arrows with impunity. The sheets of water falling from Mordheim's tortured skies worked against them to devastating effect, however--not a single rat was downed running the gauntlet of fire across an open, muddy field. The vermin poured into the hastily constructed defenses, and their ferocity proved too much for the defenders. Hampton was slain by their foul leader (although he later returned as a spectre), and Hester was permanently traumatized by the visions of plague-fouled creatures stabbing at him from all angles.
3/18/13--Defense against an attempted breakthrough by The Beef Eaters: Sunny skies set the stage for Da Burrs' third battle, and this time it seemed that the third time really was the charm. A raucous Cult of the Possessed was traipsing through the city streets when Da Burrs set upon them with a barrage of arrows from the tops of ruined buildings. Caught in the open street with no answer to the withering missile fire, the cultists stood no chance against the flawless Burrs defense, and after a half-hearted attempt at a charge the Possessed warband had no choice but to flee for their lives. Cutler himself put a barbed hunting arrow into the back of their foul Magister, and the entire experience was a great morale booster for the previously discouraged group.
3/18/13--Occupation of a wyrmstone dig site against Hoestermann's Mans: A stroke of luck brought Da Burrs to a rich cache of wyrdstone buried in a set of ruins. The team immediately set to scouring the structures, but they were found by a group of Reiklanders that hungered for the rare gems. As the sun set, both teams gathered what they could in a wary truce, but an ornate lockbox uncovered by Urlacher caused an escalation as the Reiklanders demanded it be turned over to them. A gaudily-dressed marksman pushed Urlacher to the floor, and the rest of Da Burrs took it as an invitation to open fire--although none of the arrows found targets, the Reiklanders fled immediately. It was fortunate that Urlacher had managed to maintain possession the box--inside it was one of the twelve Master Maps of Mordheim, made for Count von Steinhardt of Ostermark, but now in their hands.
3/19/13--Chance encounter against Da Proud Toofs: Da Burrs were traveling innocuously through the city when Hester returned from his scouting, breathless and twitchy from nerves. The only intelligible words that could be gleaned from his sputtering were "green" and "horde," which Lovey immediately mistook for a warning about none other than Da Burrs most fierce rivals, the Green Bay Packers. Battle formations were immediately set up, and a devastating killzone was set up to maximize the efficiency of their defensive line. The cheeseheads dove straight into the open field, with their gigantic warboss leading the charge. Da Burrs unleashed a withering hail of arrows at the mad beast at the head of the assault, who took a full dozen arrows before collapsing before their fortifications. The focused fire had given time for the rest of the horde to close the distance, and several of Da Burrs were wounded in the onslaught despite a valiant defense. Urlacher took a blow to his sword arm that threatened to end his specialization in close combat, although Cutler was more fortunate--the scars he sustained from the melee he fought in were shallow enough to be harmless, but deep enough to terrify his opponents.
3/25/13--Treasure hunt against the Nomad Valkyries: A truly sad day for Da Burrs, the encounter with the Valkyries would prove to be a Pyrrhic victory. News of treasure in a ruined marketplace had given Da Burrs their first solid lead in a week; they immediately rushed for the opportunity to increase their wealth to upgrade their tattered equipment. They met a band of brutal Middenheimers at the hunting site, however--ready for a fight, they immediately split up to engage. With Hester leading one flank and Smith the other, they crashed into the Valkyries' lines with the force of a freight train, and their adversaries were quickly overwhelmed by the shocking display of force--so much so that although their leader uncovered the treasure, she promptly ordered her warband to flee, abandoning the chest to the victors. Urlacher and Tillman were the only ones wounded in the engagement, but sadly their wounds proved fatal. Grossman replicated himself once again in order to properly bear the bodies from the field, and they were buried underneath a simple marker: "RIP in peace."