Black Templars

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"I have dug my grave in this place and I will either triumph or I will die!" -Chaplain Grimaldus, Hero of Helsreach

Black Templars
Battle Cry "No pity! No remorse! No fear!"
Founding Second Founding
Successors of Imperial Fists
Successor Chapters None
Chapter Master Helbrecht
Primarch Rogal Dorn
Homeworld Eternal Crusader
Strength Somewhere between five to ten thousand
Specialty Assault, close combat
Allegiance Imperium of Man
Colours Black and white shoulder pads

The Black Templars are a successor chapter of the Imperial Fists. These Spess Mahrehns are as manly as the Manly Marines and as angry as the Angry Marines. They're righteously angry for the Emprah, they rely primarily on close combat and their idea of a charge is a giant zerg rush of a thousand angry crusaders who won't hesitate to skullfuck the nearest alien/mutant/heretic with their powersword just because they look funny.

They are also notable for being one of the few Spess Mehreenz capable of growing facial hair, along with the Space Wolves. Srsly, just take a look at Damnation Crusade. Those beards are awesome.

About the Black Templars

Rather than express this fury through cursing, ordering 10,000 pizzas to a rival chapter's fortress, or simply pounding the shit out of their opponents using a variety of power weapons: they do so by burning heretic texts(as kindling for the actual heretics), pwning mutants, and skull fucking aliens. But you might say, "Isn't that what every other Spess Marine chapter does?" Well you'd be right, but unlike other chapters that are borderline-extinct, closet furfags, Mary Sue faggots, or flaming homosexuals, these marines get shit done and they do this by zerg rushing their enemies with a hundred or more heavily power armored super humans holding power weapons while screaming a litany of curses at the top of their super human lungs. They generally fly around on their battle barges exterminatusing planets the Inquisition is too lazy fuck with itself or starting crusades against xenos faggots. Also unlike other Chapters, they don't have scout teams as they think they're not righteously angry enough. Instead: All new Neophytes are given some crap and schooled in the field by a fully appointed Marine (called an "Initiate").

-Black Templar Training-

Brother-Initiate Teuton McTemplar: Neophyte, get your ass over here and hold my lascannon while I charge that Carnifex with my sword.

Neophyte Random'O'Germansoundingname: But sir I have not yet earned my power armor and a lascannon weighs 100 kilos.

Brother-Initiate Teuton McTemplar: You are going to pick up that spotlight and burn some fucking xenos, and you are going to like it! DO IT FAGGOT!

Note: It would be nice for this to occur, but in reality, you can only arm the Neophytes with shotguns or a bolt pistol with CCW.

The Black Templars is the largest loyalist chapter with 3,000-10,000 Catholic Space Nazis in its ranks, this is primarily because they're scattered through out the galaxy so their approximate number is unknown. This means that their chapter alone could wipe out the weeaboo communists if they were drawn together in one place. Of course this would twist the nipples of the Inquisition and move the setting of 40k along, so don't expect it to happen anytime soon(read: ever). Their rage does have the side effect of making them unwilling to fight beside psykers(and giving them the option to make any enemy a preferred enemy on the table top, which is fucking awesome), but screw that, they're so filled with rage that they charge forward when retreating and charge forward when they're FUCKING ANGRY. They are descended from the Imperial Fists, but obviously got Dorn's most manly spooge. They sometimes get to wear cool crusader helms, but they aren't quite as awesome as the beakies' corvus helms.

Their accomplishments include:

Taking back a hundred planets that were stolen by the blue space socialists after the Smurfs ran home like little babies to deal with a single hive fleet(Which cost them their entire 1st company).

Launching a 10,000 year crusade as part of their deal during the second founding.

Killing an alien psyker and accidentally blowing out ten billion astropaths in the process, oops just as planned.

Basically, when the Space Wolves are busy getting shitfaced, the Blood Angels are busy arranging their hair, the Ultrasmurfs are busy boosting their own egos, the Dark Angels are busy being paranoid heretics, the Salamanders are busy setting things on fire, and the Imperial Fists are busy being pious, you can count on the Black Templars to get shit done. Righteously and with no fucking around.

Organization

Since the Black Templars told Roboute Guilliman to go fuck himself and his Codex, the Black Templars have an organization different from Codex Chapters. They organize themselves into Fighting Companies, with much of it on the fly. Their ranks and positions include:

  • High Marshal: The Chapter Master of the Black Templars, who decides which crusades the Black Templars will participate in, without bothering for an okay from the High Lords of Terra. Helbrecht serves as the current High Marshal.
  • Marshal: The commander of a crusade, a Marshal is equivalent to a Force Commander. He is chosen from among the Sword Brethren.
  • Emperor's Champion: Before a battle, one of the Black Templars will have a vision of the Emperor. This Marine will be declared the Emperor's Champion as their founder Sigismund once was, be given the Black Sword and the Armour of Faith by the Chaplains, and serve as an inspiration for the rest of the Crusade. Things usually go badly if a crusade doesn't have an Emperor's Champion with it.
  • Castellan: The lieutenants of the Marshal, the Castellans lead the Fighting Companies of a crusade. In this way they are similar to a Codex Captain, but will usually have more than one hundred marines. Also chosen from the Sword Brethren.
  • Sergeant: The only Codex rank the Black Templars employ. Also from the Sword Brethren (notice a pattern, yet?).
  • Sword Brethren: Roughly analogous to Veterans in Codex Chapters, Sword Brethren are the senior battle brothers of the Marshal. They also get Terminator armor.
  • Initiates: Rank and file battle-brothers.
  • Neophytes: While most Chapters have their neophytes serve in some sort of recon force, the Black Templars have their new Space Marines join the crusade at the front lines and hit the ground running. Given that this has worked for ten thousand years, they may be onto something.

Notable members

  • High Marshall Helbrecht: Their current Chapter Master. Gets fucked up by Imotekh the Stormlord who proceeds to take his arm as a trophy.
  • Chaplain Grimaldus: THE most badass Chaplain in the entire Godsdamn Imperium. He fought the biggest Ork WAAAGH in history on a very old temple that had relics and artifacts that's sacred to the Imperium. The battle only ended after the temple collapsed and buried every Ork and Marine under the rubble. But since Grimaldus was too badass to die: He crawled out of the temple with a few relics he managed to save. And besides the guy has the word grim in his fucking name! How can he not be badass? Plus he looks kinda like Darth Vader.

The main caveat about his description is in his depiction in the book Helsreach, featuring Grimaldus' service in Armageddon leading up to his title as "Hero of Helsreach". The majority of the book is him being a 10-foot tall, whiny, bitch who hates his job. We're not joking. He tells off some Salamander allies to fuck off for caring about civilians more so than finishing off some Orks (and, most importantly and vicariously, GLORY).

  • Tankred: He who endures. Also is partial to bitches.

Daily Rituals of a Black Templar

Think Angry Marines but with less copious cursing.

  • 03:50: Morning Call to Prayer: Initiates awaken their respective Neophytes from their comfortable slumber on bare stone floors. This often involves buckets of ice water, vox-casters playing hymns with the volume control knob broken off, or a power armor shod foot up the ass depending on the Initiate in question. Complaints that this awakening occurred ten minutes prior to scheduled reveille are met with readmistration of the waking aid.
  • 04:00: Morning Prayer: Neophytes are berated for their perceived failings by their responsible Initiates, who are in turn berated by their superiors, up to the Marshal who berates the entire Fleet then swears a solemn vow to an icon of the Emperor that they will do better and prove themselves worthy by stabbing heretics in the throat with their swords. Tactics may also be discussed and orders of battle issued, assuming they involve rushing headlong at the enemy.
  • 05:00: Morning Firing Rites: The Initiates school their apprentices on the art of shooting xenos in the face while simultaneously swinging a chainsword. This shooting preferably occurs while rushing across the active firing range in order to close with the target and hit it with the bolt pistol if possible.
  • 07:00: Battle Practice: Initiates inform their neophytes that if they are done being cowardly whelps they may now avail themselves of a sword with which to stab shit.
  • 12:00: Midday Prayer: Neyophytes are told how poorly they did during the morning exercises, any sense of pride or joy is rooted out. The Marshal leads the Fleet in prayer and promises the Emperor they will kill more things even more righteously this afternoon.
  • 13:00: Midday Meal: The chapter serfs provide cold cuts for the Brothers' enjoyment. Lunchmeat is usually collected after each battle by the serfs following each battle and stored in the ships' freezers.
  • 13:15: Tactical Indoctrination: Locations of the vital organs and blood vessels of xenos species that may be encountered on the current Crusade are reviewed, occasionally an Initiate will cuff his Neophyte on the back of the head and reiterate "Yes that, you stab that retard." Other tactics may also be discussed as long as they involve inserting blades into things.
  • 14:00: Battle Practice: Initiates attempt to kill their Neophyte with a powersword. If the Neophyte is not dead in four hours he passes muster.
  • 18:00: Evening Firing Rites: Neophytes are instructed in how to operate heavy and specialty weaponry dropped by their responsible Initiate when he abandons it so that he may swing his sword with both hands to better kill shit or is eaten by a monstrous creature which he bravely(read:stupidly) tried to skullfuck in CQC.
  • 20:00: Evening Prayer: After sort session of critique and berating, the Emperors' Champion leads a sermon about how awesome the Emprah is and how much He wants them to flay the current heretics/muties/xenos they are fighting with power weapons.
  • 21:00: Evening Meal: A feast is served by the chapter serfs. Alcohol and anything that has a pleasant taste will not be consumed as the Emperor looks down on those that enjoy life. No hamburger, no cheeseburgers, no french fries, no milkshakes, no potato chips; you will drink water distilled from the Fleet's waste/reactor AND LIKE IT!
  • 21:30: Night-fighting/Zero-g Exercises: Initiates instruct their charges on stabbing things by the glow of a powersword.
  • 23:15: Sharpen your shit you incompetent, the Emperor reserves great disdain for those that kill heretics with dull blades.
  • 23:45: Free time: The Initiate is free to challenge his Neophyte to a short duel. Wounds heal better during sleep anyway.
  • Note that this constitutes a day off for a Black Templar. A working day will involve 23 hours of rushing monstrous creatures with meelee weapons. Neophytes are expected to pull bullet sponge duty so the Initiate is not distracted by little things like enemy gunfire.

See Also

Gallery

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