4 chan anime Writefaggotry
A collection of Writefaggotry for the 4 chan anime
/TG/ and /V/ at the LGS
(scene) In the LGS. TG is working, someone wearing a trench coat and sunglasses with most of his face covered comes in.
TG - Welcome to the Local Gaming Store....*looks at the man*.......sir?
A (aside to TG) - I know a few things about androgyny, that's a male.
Man - I'm here for some of that....*whispers* dungeons and dragons stuff.
TG - Sure. Which edition are you looking for?
Man - Uh....uh....the first one.
TG - .....
Man - What?
TG - We're out of stock sir, might I suggest either 3rd or 4th?
Man (voice accelerating) - Why don't you just tell me when you'll get the shipment in andIcangiveyoumyaddressandyoucanshipittome
TG - Sir?
Man - And you can ship it to me.
TG - When we get our first edition shipment in....
Man - Yes. Would that be Ok?
TG - I don't think we're expecting a shipment for the next....year at least. Are you a first time player?
Man - How did you know!
TG - Lucky guess sir. Might I suggest 4th edition then? Excellent for beginners such as yourself.
Man *taking off his sunglasses to get a better look*
A - V?! Is that you!?
Damnit /k/ What did I tell you about the landmines!!
- BOOM*
C: waaaaaaah
TG: What the hell was that?
C: A squirrel just exploded! It was watching it from my window, and it was colecting nuts, and it was really cute and then it explodeeeed whaaaaaaaa!
TG: DAMN IT, K, what did I tell you about the mines!
K: I though I got them all! I must have forgot one!
- X leaves the room*
...
K: Damn it, how am i supposed to find them now.
- X returns to room*
X: I have a metal detector.
TG: Really? Why?
X: In case i needed to know if you were a secret robot.
- holds it up to TG*
X: See? now I know I can trust you if the robot revolution comes.
TG: Oh, X. There's no such thing as secret robots.
- R9K walks through the room with a sandwhich, passing behind TG.*
metal detector: BEEP BEEP BEEP.
- R9K stops and looks around*
- awkward silence*
R9K: What?
Thieves attempt to break into this building. Hilarity ensues.
K: DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!
Burglar: OMFGWTF! *runs into X's room, slams door closed.*
X: What was that? WHO ARE YOU?
Burglar: Help me, he has a gun!
X: *whips out holy symbol* LEAVE THIS PLACE!
Burglar: I will! I'll leave, I swear! *scrambles for the window*
X: It worked? *pause* AAAAAAAAAAAAH Its a demon! Demon!
- THUD* on the door.
- Burglar looks at the door in fear.*
- TG Bursts into the room with a bastard sword in hand*
TG: "I KICK IN THE DOOR!"
Burglar: OH GOD *leaps out window, makes a break for it.*
X: Glad that's over.
- BLAM!*
V: Boom, headshot!
K: Don't take credit for my kill.
TG and K do some wargaming
"TG," K's eyes were level with the board, only a slight glimmer of moisture suggesting there were eyes in those wrinkled sockets, "You're distracted."
"What tells you that?" TG asked.
"Princess Patricia's Light Infantry appears to have been recruiting Catachan's to replenish its lost numbers to the Kaiser's Regiment Nr. 459," he growled, standing up.
Embarassed, TG fumbled, snatching the bemuscled and screaming figure from the Canadian light infantry arrayed in the trench, "Uh, sorry K, I just-"
"What'd I tell you about being saying sorry," growled K, as he reached for the dice.
"Uhm," TG hesitated, his Catachan still in his fingers, then shrugged, "'Only say sorry when their's a gun in your hand-'"
"Or a bullet in their head," K pulled the cigarette from his mouth, and smiled, "Look's like Princess Patricia's got to get some new boyfriends."
"What- oh come on K," TG gave the veteran a weary look, "Do I have to explain line of sight again?"
"What?" K scowled, "My men have been shooting that shed to shit, it only counts as light cover-"
"COMBINED with the trench that my men are in-"
"IT'S ARTILLERY, I DON'T EVEN NEED TO-"
Rent Day!!
RENT DAY! m00t goes to collect rent and everyone pays in their own unique way:
- /ck/ gives him a pie
- /r9k/ notes that he paid in advance.
- /k/ shoots a hole through the door when moot knocks, screaming that moot shouldnt sneak up on him like that. moments later, a hand pops through the blast-hole with a check.
- /d/ just opens and says that her/his payment will come at the usual time. What perversion could be planned?
- /b/ flings feces and howls about mudkips
Finally moot gets to /tg/. There is a not scrawled on the door stating that /tg/ is at work with /co/ (they co-own a game/comic shop) but the money is on the table. As he enters, moot is thrown into a dungeon crawl, and must brave traps, monsters and slay a dragon, and retreives a bag of gold as the hallway starts to collaps!
Moot returns to him room, and opens the bag of gold to see a note from /tg/; "Sorry the place is a mess, wasnt expecting company".
Moot relaxes into his chair, and /d/ walks in, drops a package in his lap, and walks out. moot opens the box, and inside it is a wig and a cute little girly dress, with a note pinned on it reading "Wash it before you return it this time."
A visit to the Diner!
Scene: Diner
- /tg/ enters, /k/ shortly after
K: Why are we here, you said we were going to the hunting store after picking up your paycheck. (K pauses for a moment, seemingly lost in though.) Come to think of it, why would you wanna go to a hunting store anyway?
TG: Well the hunting store has a good variety of combat knives and daggers; and I want to check their critical threat ratings. Also we're here because I didn't have lunch-
- He's interrupted by the rather high pitched voice of /c/
E: Welcome to (Insert Restaurant Name here), how many in your party?
TG; Uh just two, and we'll take a seat at the counter...
- TG takes a look at E, about to say something.
K: Aren't you a little young to be working here /c/?
E: Yeah but nee-chan /a/ buttered but the manager and got me a part time job!
TG: Is that even legal- Cut off again as /b comes screaming from the kitchen knocking over busboys and waiters alike, several links of sausage in hand.
B: NEVAH GONNA CATCH MEEEEE!
- /ck/ shorty thereafter bursts from the kitchen waving a frying pan in her hands
CK: Get back here you little maggot!
B; AHAHAHHA-
- As /b/ leaves the Diner he is clotheslined by /co/ at the door. He falls to the ground dropping the sausages and coughing heavily.
- /co/ looks down at him, disapprovingly, shakes his head and sighs.
CO: Man, we really should keep him on a leash.
Laundry Day!
|TG ENTERS| "Anyone seen my D20 shirt?"
|A (lounging in chair, watching tv. Faint japanese-esque dialogue can be barely heard)| "Where'd you last see it?"
TG "When I was doing laundry."
A "Maybe you left it in the dryer?"
- Basement: The washing machine hums, theres no light, just the glow from /G's monitors*
TG (Head in dryer) "Not in here... what's this?" *pulls out six-breasted corset* "Eh..." G "D was down here doing her laundry earlier." *CLACKCLACKCLACKCLACK* "You lose something?" TG "Yeah, my D20 shirt. The one with the amusing critical hit reference." G "Maybe she found it?"
- Outside D's room*
TG (staring at door, has 6-breasted corset in hand) "Well, here goes..." (walks up to door, knocks)
- Switch to view of door from inside room. Door opens, we see TG* "Hey, I was doing laundry earlier an- SAN CHECK SAN CHECK! OHGODOHGODOHGOD"
Back of D's head. "Oops! Thought you were... someone else. Is that my corset? I was looking for that." *takes corset, which TG had started to shield his face with* "Oh, and you left your shirt in the dryer." (tosses shirt, shirt lands on TG's face, TG has remained totally still during this time. "Thanks!" *door closes*
TG "Th-the horror...."