Grimdark Songwriting

2009-12-07T03:29:26Z

174.95.62.122:

Observing some striking correlations between the songs found in children's movies and the [[Warhammer 40,000|40K universe]], people on /tg/ sometimes adapt these songs to bring out their true [[grimdark]] potential.

==Disney Adaptations==
The most popular segment to be subjected to grimdarkification, Disney songs seem to lend themselves well to the total despair of the 41st millenium.

===Pocahontas: Savages===
-Part 1- 
[Inquisitor Ratcliffe] 
What can you expect 
From filthy little xenos? 
Their whole disgusting race is like a curse 
For them no tears are shed 
They're only good when dead 
They're vermin, as I said 
And worse 

[Grey Knights] 
They're aliens! Aliens! 

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe] 
They're not even human 

[Grey Knights] 
Aliens! Aliens! 

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe] 
Astartes to the fore! 
They're not like you and me 
Which means they must be purged 
We must sound the drums of war! 

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe+Grey Knights] 
They're aliens! Aliens! 
Filthy xenos rabble! 
Now we sound the drums of war! 

[Eldrad] 
This is what we feared 
With their absurd ambition 
The Mon-Keigh only seek to conquer and destroy 

[Caerys] 
Beneath that armour plate 
They only harbour hate 

[Aspect Warriors] 
Killing them shall be a joy 

[Aspect Warriors] 
They're savages! Savages! 
Zeal and fervor blinds them 
Savages! Savages! 

[Caerys] 
Killers at the core 

[Exarch] 
They're a lesser race than us 
Which means they can't be trusted 

[Eldrad] 
We must sound the drums of war 

[Aspect Warriors] 
They're savages! Savages! 
First we deal with this one 
Then we sound the drums of war 

[Grey Knights] 
Aliens! Aliens! 

[Brother-Captain] 
Let's go kill a few, men! 

[Aspect Warriors] 
Savages! Savages! 

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe] 
Now it's up to you, men! 

[All] 
(Aliens) Savages! (Aliens) Savages! 
They are lesser creatures! 
Now we sound the drums of war! 

-Intermission- 

[Taldeer] 
They're going to kill him at sunrise, Grandmother Wraithbone. 

[Grandmother Wraithbone] 
You have to stop them! 

[Taldeer] 
I can't... 

[Grandmother Wraithbone] 
Child, remember your vision- 

[Taldeer] 
I was wrong, Grandmother Wraithbone, I followed the wrong path! I feel so lost... 

[Taldeer] 
The auspex... The spinning arrow... 

[Grandmother Wraithbone] 
It's the arrow from your vision! 

[Taldeer] 
I was right, it was pointing to him! Sunrise... 

[Grandmother Wraithbone] 
It's not too late, child! Let the spirits of the webway guide you! You know your path, child, now follow it! 

-Part 2- 
[Inquisitor Ratcliffe] 
This will be the day ... 
(Let's go men!) 

[Eldrad] 
This will be the morning ... 
(Bring out the prisoner!) 

[Grey Knights and Aspect Warriors] 
We will see them dying in the dust 

[Taldeer] 
I don't know what I can do 
Still, I know that I must try 

[Grey Knights] 
Now we make them pay 

[Taldeer] 
Isha, help my feet to fly 

[Rangers] 
Now without a warning ... 

[Taldeer] 
Kurnous, help my heart be great 

[Grey Knights and Aspect Warriors] 
Now we leave them blood and bone and rust 

[Taldeer] 
Spirits of the wraithbone cry ... 

[Grey Knights and Aspect Warriors] 
It's them or us 

[Taldeer] 
Please don't let it be to late ... 

[Grey Knights and Aspect Warriors] 
They're just a bunch of 
Filthy, stinking 

[Grey Knights] 
Aliens! 

[Aspect Warriors] 
Savages! 

[Grey Knights] 
Daemons! 

[Aspect Warriors] 
Primates! 

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe] 
Kill them! 

[Aspect Warriors] 
Savages! 

[Grey Knights] 
Aliens! 

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe+Grey Knights] 
What are we waiting for? 

[All] 
Destroy their evil race 
Until there's not a trace left 

[Taldeer] 
How loud are the drums of war 

[Grey Knights and Aspect Warriors] 
We will sound the drums of war 
(Savages! Savages!) 
Now, we sound the drums of war 
(Aliens! Aliens!) 

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe] 
They shall all succumb 
The rotten xenos scum 

[Aspect Warriors] 
Now we sound the drums ... of ... war! 

[Grey Knights] 
Of course it means the drums ... of ... war! 

[Taldeer] 
Is the death of all I love 
Carried in the drumming of war? 

[Taldeer] 
No! If you kill him, you'll have to kill me too. 

[Eldrad] 
Daughter, stand back. 

[Taldeer] 
I won't! I love him... 

===Jungle Book: I Wanna Be Like You===

Now I'm of caste Ethereal

Oh, a Tau VIP

I've reached the top and had to stop

And that's what botherin' me

I wanna be a man, gue'la

And stroll right onto Terra

And be able to approach the Golden Throne

And end this warring era!

Oh, oobee doo

I wanna be like you

I wanna walk like you

Talk like you, too

You'll see it's true

A xenos like me

Can learn to be human too

Gee, mister Aun

You're doin' real good

Now here's your part of the deal, cuz

Lay the secret on me of man's psyker powers

But I'm not a psyker!

Now don't try to kid me, gue'la

I made a deal with you

What I desire is man's psychic power

To make my dream come true

Give me the secret, gue'la

Clue me what to do

Give me the power of man's warp flower

So I can be like you

===The Great Mouse Detective: The World's Greatest Criminal Mind===
[Ratigan] 
My friends, we are about to embark on the most odious, the most evil, the most diabolical scheme of my illustrious career. A crime to top all crimes, a crime that will live in infamy!

Tomorrow evening, our beloved planetary governess celebrates her diamond jubilee. And, with the enthusiastic help of our good friend Magos Flaversham, it promises to be a night she will never forget. Her last night, and my first, as supreme ruler of all Londinium Prime!

From the brain that brought you the Black Bell Caper
The head that made headlines on every dataslate
And wondrous things like the Gunmetal Job
That cunning display that made all hivers sob

Now comes the real tour de force
Tricky and wicked, of course!
My earlier crimes were fine for their times
But now that I’m at it again
An even grimmer plot has been simmering
In my great criminal brain

[Chorus] 
Even meaner? You mean it?
Worse than the widows and orphans you drowned?
You’re the best of the worst around
Oh Ratigan
Oh Ratigan
The rest fall behind
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
Lord Tzeentch’s greatest criminal mind!

[Ratigan] 
Ratigan (speaking)
Thank you, thank you. But it hasn’t all been Amasec and Caviar. I’ve had my share of adversity, thanks to that miserable second-rate inquisitor, Basil of Baker Hive! For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans. I haven’t had a moment’s peace of mind. But now, all that’s in the past! This time, nothing, not even Basil can stand in my way! All will bow before me!

[Chorus] 
Oh Ratigan
Oh Ratigan
You’re tops and that’s that
To Ratigan
To Ratigan

[Bartimus] 
To Ratigan, the sector's greatest Khornate.

[Ratigan] 
What was THAT?! WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!

[Mutant 1] 
Oh, he didn't mean it my lord.

[Mutant 2] 
I-it was just a slip of one of his tongues!

[Ratigan] 
I am NOT A KHORNATE!

[Mutant 3] 
'Course you're not, you're Tzeentchian!

[Mutant 4] 
Yeah, that's right, Tzeentchian!

[Mutant 5] 
A really angry Tzeentchian!

[Ratigan] 
SILENCE!!
Oh my dear Bartimus, I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me...you know what happens when someone upsets me...
I trust there will be no further interruptions. And now, as you were singing...?

[Chorus] 
Even louder!
We'll shout it!
No one can doubt what we know you can do
You’re more evil than even you
Oh Ratigan
Oh Ratigan
You’re one of a kind
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
Lord Tzeentch’s greatest criminal mind!

===The Lion King: Be Prepared===
[Ghazghkull] 
I NEVA FOUGHT YA GROTS WUZ ESSETCHUL

YOUZ RUNTY, AN' UNSPEEKABLY WEAK

BUT ME FINKS YOUZ GOT SUM POTENTCHUL

IF WAAGH IS WOT YOU REELY SEEK

[Ghazghkull] 
'S KLARE FROM YER VAKANT EXPRESHUNS

DA ORK IS NOT ALL ON OP’STARES

BUT WEZ TALKIN' BOSSES AN' SUCCESSUNS

EVA YOUZ KENT BE CUGHT UNAWARES!

[Ghazghkull] 
SO PREPARE FOR DA FIGHT OVVA LOIFETIME

PREPARE FOR SENSHANAL NEWS

A SHINY NEW ERA

‘S STOMPIN’ NEARA

[Boyz] 
But ‘ere getting shot op!

[Ghazghkull] 
JUS’ LISSIN YA SQUIG GOB!

[Ghazghkull] 
AH KNO DIS SOUNDS SORTID,

BUT YOUZ GON BE REWARDID

WHEN AT LAST AH'M GIVVIN MY TEEF

WAAAAGH WE FINALY DARED

BE PREPARED!!!

[Boyz] 
Yeah! Be prepared! Wez gon be prepared! ...Fer wot?

[Ghazghkull] 
DEFF OV DA BOSS!

[Boyz] 
Why? Did da boss say so?

[Ghazghkull] 
NO YA GROTS, SES MORK. AN' GORK TOO!

[Boyz] 
Great ideah! Who ned a boss! No Boss! No Boss!

Waagh--Waagh-Waagh--Waaagh-Waaagh!

[Ghazghkull] 
IDIUTS! DERE WILL BE A BOSS!

[Boyz] 
But youz sed...

[Ghazghkull] 
AH WILL BE BOSS! WAAAGH WIW ME AND YOUZ NEVA GON BE KRAMPED AGAIN!

[Boyz] 
Yay! Awwwwwwroight! 'ail to da Boss!

[Chorus] 
'AIL TO DA BOSS

'AIL TO DA BOSS!!!

SEEMS DAT WE'LL SOON BE KONNEKTID

TO A BOSS WHO'LL BE ALL TIME ADORD

[Ghazghkull] 
OV’KOURSE, KVID PRO KVO, YOUZ EXPECTID

TO BRING CERTAIN DUTYZ ONBOARD

DA FUCHA IZ LITTERD WIW TROPHIES

AN DOUGH BIGGEST BOSS AH 'ILL BE

DA POINT DAT AH MUST EMFASAZ ES:

YA WON'T GET TA WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH WIWOUT ME!!!!

[Ghazghkull] 
SO GIT PREPARED FOR DA WAAAAAAGH OV’ DA CENTURY! 
[Chorus] 
(Oooh!) 
[Ghazghkull] 
BE PREPARED FOR DA BRUTALEST KUNNIN 
[Chorus] 
(Oooh Waagh, Waagh, Waagh!) 
[Ghazghkull] 
MASSIVELY CHOPPY! 
[Chorus] 
(We’ll haf Waagh!) 
[Ghazghkull] 
DED BIG AN’SHOOTY! 
[Chorus] 
(En’less Waagh!) 
[Ghazghkull] 
CRED’IBLY STOMPY! 
[Chorus] 
(‘Ere we go!) 
[Ghazghkull] 
WILL MAKE SURE THAT ME! 
[Chorus] 
(Fo’ da Waagh!) 
[Ghazghkull] 
BE DA BOSS UNDISPUTED 
[Chorus] 
(Aaaaaaah...) 
[Ghazghkull] 
RESPECTID, SALUTID 
[Chorus] 
(...aaaaaaah!) 
[Ghazghkull] 
AN' SEEN FER DA BOSS DAT AH AM 
[Chorus] 
(Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) 
[Ghazghkull] 
YES MA' CHOPPAS AN SHOOTAS ARE BEARED
BE PREPARED!!!

[All] 
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

=== Aladdin: A Whole New World ===
[Ghazghkull] 
I’ll kill da ooniverse! 
Burn’s it, smash’s it, stomp’s it! 
Tell me Yarrick now when’s did I last 
Get’s a nice surprise? 

[Yarrick] 
Well, just open your eyes! 

[Ghazghkull] 
Look at all of dese wonders! 
So much chance ‘ere for plunders 
On a mighty fighitn ride! 
Armageddon! 
With kool, amazin rockrete pits 
Not normal humie runts 
An’ no weak punts 
Or tribes of smaller orkish gits 

[Yarrick] 
Armageddon! 
A wonderous place of giant hives 
Where billions of souls 
Live like moles 
Never see the sky in all their lives 

[Ghazghkull] 
Never da sky in all dere lives 

[Yarrick] 
Unbelievable war 
Orks coming on them like rain 
Fighting, dying and much pain 
Through deserts of blackened waste 
Armageddon! 

[Ghazghkull] 
Don’t you dare leave dis place! 

[Yarrick] 
A hundred million fallen souls 

[Ghazghkull] 
I’s wants you to stay ‘ere 

[Yarrick] 
There’s so much shooting here, 
And so much fear 
I won’t ever leave this war-torn world 

[Ghazghkull] 
Armageddon 

[Yarrick] 
I think I am stuck here 

[Ghazghkull] 
Wit new fun chances of fightin 

[Yarrick] 
Everyday it gets harder 

[Both] 
I’ll chase you, gun in hand 
Across this land 
Let me share Armageddon 
with you 

[Ghazghkull] 
Armageddon 

[Yarrick] 
Armageddon 

[Ghazghkull] 
Dat’s where I waaaagh 

[Yarrick] 
That’s where I stand 

[Ghazghkull] 
A fight at hand! 

[Yarrick]: 
On this black sand 

[Both] 
So don’t you leave! 

=== Mulan: I'll Make a Tau Out of You ===

Let's get down to business - to defeat the Orks 
Did they send me Fio'las when I asked for Shas? 
You're the saddest bunch I've ever met 
But you can bet before we're through 
Mister, I'll make a tau out of you 

Patient as a gun drone 
But on plasma within 
Once you aim your rifle 
You are sure to win 
You're a spineless, pale pathetic lot 
And you haven't got a clue 
Somehow I'll make a tau out of you 

I'm never gonna catch my breath 
Say goodbye to those who knew me 
Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym 
This guy's got 'em scared to death 
Hope he doesn't see right through me 
Now I really wish that I knew how to swim 

(Chorus:) 
Be a tau 
We must be swift as the Barracuda 
Be a tau 
With all the force of a orca dropship 
Be a tau 
With all the strength of a mighty railgun 
Magnificent as the bright side of the good 

Time is racing toward us till the Orks arrive 
Heed my every order and you might survive 
You're unsuited for the fire caste 
So pack up, deport you're through 
How could I make a tau out of you? 

(Chorus:) 
Be a tau 
We must be swift as the Barracuda 
Be a tau 
With all the force of a Orca dropship 
Be a tau 
With all the strength of a mighty railgun 
Magnificent as the bright side of the good 

(Chorus:) 
Be a tau 
We must be swift as the Barracuda 
Be a tau 
With all the force of a Orca Dropship 
Be a tau 
With all the strength of a mighty railgun 
Magnificent as the bright side of the good 

=== Beauty and the Beast: Angron ===
[Kharn:] Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Angron 
Without a good war to wage 
Every guy here'd love to be you, Angron 
Even when frothing with rage 
Every single World Eater was sired by you 
Every man before you shall bow 
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you 
And it's not very hard to see how 

No one's slick as Angron 
No one's sick as Angron 
No one wields a chainaxe quite as quick as Angron 
For there's no man around half as hearty 
Perfect, a prime specimen 
You ask any Adeptus Astartes 
And they'll tell you whose Chapter they want to be in 

[Berzerkers:] No one's been like Angron 
Had thick skin like Angron 
[Kharn:] No one's able to create a din like Angron 
[Angron:] As a Primarch, yes, I'm intimidating 
[Berzerkers:] My what a guy, that Angron 

Give five "hurrahs!" 
"For the Skull Throne!" 
[Kharn:] Angron is the best 
And the rest are all boned 

[Berzerkers:] No one fights like Angron 
Or ignites like Angron 
[Champion:] In a riot nobody incites like Angron 
[Daemonettes:] For there's no one as fearsome or angry 
[Angron:] My raw energy cannot be caged 
[Kharn:] Not a bit of him's scraggly or mangy 
[Angron] (That's right!) 
I'm bursting with boundless and unbridled rage 

[Berzerkers:] No one hits like Angron 
[Raptor:] Fights in pits like Angron 
[Kharn:] In a BloodBowl match no one can blitz like Angron 
[Angron:] I'm espcially fond of obliterating 
(Kablooey!) 
[Berzerkers:] Ten points for Angron! 

[Angron:] In the arena I received nerve implants 
So I'd fight with no fear or remorse 
So I gave my legion the same nerve implants 
Now they are an unstoppable force 

[Berzerkers:] No one shoots like Angron 
No one loots like Angron 
[Kharn:] Crushes skulls under ceremite boots like Angron 
[Angron:] I use enemy heads for my decorating 
[Berzerkers:] My what a guy, Angron! 

=== The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Hellfire ===

[Inquisitor Frollo]: Have mercy, my Emprah,
You know I am a righteous man.
Of my virtue I am justly proud.

Have mercy, my Emprah,
You know I'm so much purer than
The common, vulgar, heretical crowd!

Then tell me, my Emprah
Why I see her standing there,
Why her ghosthelm's eyes still scorch my soul?

I feel her, I see her!
The sun caught in her spirit stones
Is blazing in me out of all control!

Like fire!
Warpfire!
This fire in my skin!
This burning
Desire
Is turning me to sin!

It's not my fault!
I'm not to blame!
It is the Eldar girl, the Witch who set this flame!

It's not my fault,
It's Tzeentch's plan!
He made foul xenos so much stronger than a man!

Protect me, my Emprah!
Don't let foul Taldeer cast her spell!
Don't let heresy sear my flesh and bone!
Destroy the Farseer!
And let her feel Chaos's flames
Or else let her be mine and mine alone!

[Guardsman]: Inquisitor Frollo, the Eldar witch has escaped.

[Inquistor Frollo]: What?

[Guardsman]: She's nowhere in the fortress...she's gone.

[Inquisitor Frollo]: But how, I...nevermind! Get out, you idiot!

I'll find her!
I'll find her if I have to glass the entire system!

Warpfire!
Dark fire!
Now Taldeer, it's your turn!
Choose me or
Your pyre!
Be mine or you will BURN!

Emprah's mercy on me...

Emprah's mercy on her...

But she will be mine or
SHE
WILL
BURN!!!

==Dreamworks Adaptations==
Although less prolific than Disney, some of Dreamworks' titles show great promise.

===The Prince of Egypt: Playing with the Big Boys===
[Cult Leaders] 
By the power of Tzeentch... 
Nurgle...Khorne...Slaanesh...Malal... 
Magnus...Lorgar...Curze...Angron... 
Fulgrim...Khârn...Lucius...Typhus... 
Mortarion...Perturabo... 
Abaddon...Alpharius...Erebus...Slyte... 
Fabius...Ahriman... 
Tzeentch...Nurgle...Khorne...Slaanesh... 
Magnus...Lorgar...Curze...Angron... 
Fulgrim...Khârn...Typhus...Lucius... 
Malal...Slaanesh...Khorne...Nurgle...Tzeentch... 

So you think you've got friends on High Terra 
With the power to put us on the run 
Well, forgive us if we give a chortle 
You'll know what power is when we are done 
Mortal... 

You're playing with the daemons now 
Playing with the daemons now (Oh, that's nice...) 
Every spell and gesture 
Tells you who's your master 
You're playing with the daemons now 

You're playing with the daemons now 
You're playing with the daemons now 
Stop this vain resistance 
Embrace your true existence 
Give in to temptation now 
Pick up your powerfist, boy 
You're playing with the daemons now! 

[Chanting Cultists] 
By the power of Tzeentch 
Nurgle, Khorne, Slaanesh, Malal 
Magnus, Lorgar, Curze, Angron 
Mortarion, Perturabo 
Malal, Slaanesh, Khorne, Nurgle... 

[Cult Leaders] 
You're playing with the daemons now 
You're playing with the daemons now 
By the might of Horus 
You will kneel before us 
Kneel to our splendorous power... 
You try to keep faith 
But you know we're right 
And just to show we feel no spite 
You can be our acolyte 
But first, boy, it's time to betray 
(All the way!) 
Or your soul will be consumed, boy 
You're playing with the daemons now 
Playing with the daemons 
Now! 

===The Prince of Egypt: The Plagues===
[Chorus] 
Thus said the Gods: 
Since you refuse to yield your reign 
All through the Imperium of Man... 

I send your soldiers on yourself 
Into your space, throughout the void 
Onto your worlds, into your streets 
Into your habs, into your forts 
Upon your ranks, on your troops 
Upon your people in your hives 
Into your minds, into your souls 
Until you break, until you yield 
I send the swarm, I send the horde 
Thus said the Gods! 

[Horus] 
Once I called you father 
Once I thought the chance 
to make you proud 
Was all I ever wanted... 

[Chorus] 
I send the thunder from the sky 
I send the fire raining down 

[Horus] 
And even now I wish the Gods 
had chose another 
Serving as your foe on its behalf 
Is the last thing that I wanted... 

[Chorus] 
I send a hail of burning ice 
On every field, on every hive 

[Horus] 
This was my home 
All this pain and devastation 
It never had to be this way 
All the warriors who suffer 
From your stubbornness and pride... 

[Chorus] 
I send such fleets out through the void 
The galaxy has never seen 
On every globe, on every world 
Until there's nothing left of green 
I send my scourge, I send my sword 
Thus said the Gods! 

[Emperor] 
You who I called my son 
Why must you call down another blow? 

[Chorus] 
I send my scourge, I send my sword 

[Horus] 
Let my warriors rule 

[Horus and Chorus] 
Thus said the Gods 

[Emperor] 
You who I called my son 
How could you have come to hate me so? 
Is this what you wanted? 

[Chorus] 
I send the swarm, I send the horde... 

[Emperor] 
Then let my heart be hardened 
And never mind how high the cost may grow 
This will still be so: 
I will never let my empire go... 

[Chorus] 
Thus said the Gods: 

[Horus] 
Thus said the Gods: 

[Emperor] 
I will not... 

[Horus, Emperor, and Chorus] 
Let your (my) empire go! 

==Other Sources==
Through random circumstance or creative providence, some songs and poems lend themselves to grimdarking regardless of what media they are tied to.

===Queen: Bohemian Rhapsody===
Iz dis da real life? 
Iz dis jus' fannasy? 
Caught in a big push, 
No 'scape from reality. 
Open ya eyes, Look up at da skies and see, 
I's jus' a poor boy, dun need no sympafy, 
'Cause I'm big 'n mean, not a grot, chop and smash, shoot a lot, 
Any way the waaagh goes doesn't really matter to me, to me. 

Warboss, just killed an ork, 
Put mah dakka 'gainst 'is 'ead, pulled my trigger, now 'e's dead. 
Warboss, waaagh had just begun, 
But now I's gone and shot up all ya nobs. 
Warboss, ooh, Didn' mean ta make ya mad, 
If I's not back again dis time tomorra, 
Keep stompin', keep stompin' as if nuffin' really matters. 

Too late, I gots shot up, 
Sends hurtin' down me spine, body's aching all the time. 
Goodbye, ev'rybody, I've got to go, 
Gotta leave you all behind and face da troof. 
Warboss, ooh, I dun' wanna die, 
I sometimes wish I'd never waaaghed at all. 

I see a little silhouetto of a beakie, 
Zoggin' humies, Zoggin' humies, is it your turn to stomp now? 
Thundabolts and Lightnins, very, very fright'ning me. 
(Gorkamorka.) Gorkamorka. (Gorkamorka.) Gorkamorka, Gorkamorka Gork n' Mork 
Waaaaagh! I's just a poor boy an' nobody loves me. 
'E's just a poor boy from a poor goff tribe, 
Spare 'im 'is loife from dis monstrosity. 
Easy come, easy go, will yas lemme go? 
Xenos! No, we will not let you go. 
(Let him go!) Xenos! We will not let you go. 
(Let him go!) Xenos! We will not let you go. 
(Let me go.) Will not let you go. 
(Let me go.) Will not let you go. (Let me go.) Ah. 
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 
(Oh Brother Captain, Brother Captain.) Bruvva Kaptin, lemme go. 
Da Commissar 'as a boltgun put aside for me, for me, for me. 

So you fink you can shoot me and spit in my eye? 
So you fink you can curse me and leave me to die? 
Oh, baby, can't do dis to me, baby, 
Jus' gonna get out, jus' gotta get stompin' again! 

Nuffin' really matters, Anyone can see, 
Nuffin' really matters, 
Nuffin' really matters to me. 

Any way the waaagh goes. 

===Robert Browning: My Last Duchess===
That's my last adjutant painted on the wall, 
Looking as if she were alive. I call 
That piece a wonder, now: The Confessor 
Worked busily that day, and there she stands. 
Will't please you sit and look at her? I said 
Confessor by design, for never read 
Strangers like you that pictured countenance, 
The depth and passion of its earnest glance, 
But to myself they turned (since none puts by 
The curtain I have drawn for you, but I) 
And seemed as they would ask me, if they durst, 
How such a glance came there; so not the first 
Are you to turn and ask thus. Sir, 'twas not 
My orders only, called that eager spot, 
Of joy into her pallid cheek; perhaps 
A Guardsman chanced to say "She wears her cap 
Askew, as it please her," or "Prayer 
Must never hope to match a lock of her hair 
Taken from her head": such stuff 
Was unacceptable, I thought, and cause enough 
For flagellation (she did not). She had 
An attitude - how shall I say - relaxed 
Too easily beguiled; she listened to anything 
She looked on, and her ears heard many things. 
Sir, 'twas all one! Morning prayers, arrests, 
The whispers of the Dark Gods in her breast, 
The impious jibes some vulgar soldier 
Would throw her way, unaware of her 
Position and my power. All and each 
would draw from her alike the approving speech, 
Or an ear at least. She took confession - good - but prayed 
Somehow - I know how now - as if her faith was any other jade. 
A heretic. Who'd stoop to blame 
This sort of crime? Even had you time 
For a trial - which I had not - for heretic slime 
And to say she burns, and to say "Just This 
Is your fair fate, you lying bitch, 
Traitor to the Emperor" - and if she let 
Herself be lessoned so, nor plainly set 
Her wits to yours, forsooth, and made excuse, 
- E'en then would be some stooping, and I choose 
Never to stoop. Oh sir, she prayed, no doubt, 
On every feast, but which gods blessed without 
Those same prayers? This became clear. I made commands. 
Then prayers turned into screams. There she stands, 
As if alive. Will't please you rise? We'll meet 
The Governor below, then. I repeat, 
The Inquisition's munificence 
Is ample warrant that no just pretence 
Of confession will be disallowed; 
Though to find heresy, as I avowed, 
At starting, is my object. Nay, we'll go 
Together down, sir. Notice this seal, though, 
The skull and I, together as you see, 
Which gives certain... powers to me. 

===Charlie Daniels Band: The Devil Went Down to Georgia===
The daemon went down to Terra, 
He was looking for a soul to steal. 
He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind: he was willin' to make a deal. 
When he came across this young man chainswordin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot. 
And the daemon jumped upon a hickory stump and said: "Boy, let me you what:" 
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too." 
"And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you." 
"Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the daemon his due:" 
"I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, 'cos I think I'm better than you." 
The boy said: "Mah nahme's [[Indrick Boreale|Boreale]] ahnd it might be ah sin," 
"But Ah'll take yooouuur bet, yoouugghhrr gonna regrort, 'cos Ah'm the best thawt's ever beahn." 

Boreale, rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard, 
'Cause hellwarp's broke loose in Terra and Tzeentch deals the cards. 
And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold. 
But if you lose, the daemon gets your soul. 

The daemon opened up his case and he said, "I'll start this show." 
And blue fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow. 
And he pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hiss. 
Then a band of Nurglings joined in and it sounded somethin' like this: 
When the daemon finished, Boreale said, 
"Worl, you're prehtty guud, oorrld sawn," 
"But sit dorn in that cheer rigghht ther and let me show you whore it's dorne" 

Fire on the monolith. 
Run, boys, run 
Slaanesh in the House of the Rising Sun. 
Squiqs in the bread pan pickin' out dough. 
Granny, does your cyberdog bite? 
No, child, no. 

The daemon bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat. 
And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Boreale's feet. 
Boreale said, "Daemon, just cuhm on baahhck if you ever wahnt to trah agahin." 
"'Cause Ah told you once, you son of a grot," 
"Ah'm the best that's evah bihn." 

===Iron Maiden: Aces High===
There goes da sirun dat warns o' da air raid 
Den comz da sound o' da shootaz: DakDakkaDak 
Owt fer da scramble we've godda git airborne 
Godda git up fer da comin' attak. 

Jump in da cockpit an start up da enginz 
Lode up da grotz derz no time to muck about 
Gavverin' speed as weeb 'ed down da runway 
Godda git airborne an smoke dose gitz out 

Scurryin', scramblin', flyin' 
Rollin', turnin', divin', goin' in again 
Scurryin', scramblin', flyin' 
Rollin', turnin', divin' 
Scurry, liv ter fly, fly ter liv, du or die 
Won't ya scurry, liv ter fly, fly ter liv, Deffskwad 'igh. 

Move in ter fire at da mainstream o' bombaz 
Giv em some dakka an den turn away 
Roll ober, spin round ter cumz in behind 'em 
Move ter their blindsidz an firin' again 

Runtie ships oe'r da Horizon, muv in behin' us 
Down on da ground dere's jes deadboys and lootaz 
'Eading up an turnin' our flash ter mug dem 
'Eading straight fer dim meeb per-ss down on mi shootaz. 

Rollin', turnin', divin' 
Rollin', turnin', divin' ('ere we go agin!) 
Rollin', turnin', divin' 
Rollin', turnin', divin' 
Scurry, liv ter fly, fly ter liv, du or die 
Won't ya scurry, liv ter fly, fly ter liv, Deffskwad 'igh 

===Iron Maiden: The Trooper===
You’ll take my life but I’ll take yours too 
You’ll fire you railgun but I’ll run you through 
So when your waiting for the next attack 
You’d better stand there’s no turning back 

The Ethereal speaks as the charge begins 
But on this battlefield no one wins 
The smell of acrid smoke and krootox breath 
As you plunge into a certain death 

The horse he sweats with fear we break to run 
The mighty roar of the Tau guns 
And as we race towards the xenos wall 
The screams of pain as my comrades fall 

We hurdle bodies that lay on the ground 
And the Tau fire another round 
We get so near yet so far away 
We won’t live to fight another day 

(Guitar Solo) 

We get so close near enough to fight 
When a Firewarrior gets me in his sights 
He pulls the trigger and I feel the blow 
A burst of rounds take my horse below 

And as I lay there gazing at the sky 
My body’s numb and my throat is dry 
And as I lay forgotten and alone 
Without a tear I draw my parting groan 

===My Chemical Romance: The Black Parade (Intro)===
WHEN I WAS 
A GUARDSMAN, 
MY SERGEANT TOOK ME TO EASTERN KRONUS 
TO SERVE IN VICTORY BAY 

HE SAID, 
"SON WHEN YOU GROW UP, 
WILL YOU BE THE SLAYER OF THE MUTANT, 
AND THOSE WHO GO ASTRAY?" 

HE SAID 
"WILL YOU DEFEAT THEM, 
THE DEMONS, AND ALL THE FILTHY XENOS, 
THE PLANS THAT THEY HAVE MADE?" 

FOR ONE DAY, I LEAD YOU, 
TO THE ELDAR,
AND TAU AND ORKS AND NECRONS, 
TO JOIN THE DARK CRUSADE." 

===Harvey Andrews: British Soldier===
In a spaceport in the city a young guardsman stood 
Talking to the natives there if they would 
Some just stared in hatred, and others turned in pain 
And the lonely guardsman boy wished he was home again 

Come join glorious guard! Said the posters in his block 
See new worlds and have your fun and serve your emperor 
His skills were surely lacking and his family had to eat 
So he took the emperors oath and enlisted for up to fight 

For there was no fear of fighting, to the conquered he’d be sent 
Just ten years getting paid to watch 
Then leave a glorious victor, a man who’d made the grade 
A medal and some land, and memories in trade 

Then came the call of Tash’ren, as it had come before 
Another bloody chapter in an unending war 
The people stood on both sides, the people they stood behind 
Another fight in futilities name, the weak against the blind 

The guardsman stood between them, between the whistling stones 
And then the broken bottles, that lead to more patrols 
The crude bombs that burnt him, the nails that pierced his skin 
And wish he’d just stayed home, working with his friends 

The starport filled with people the guardsman soon was bored 
But better in the port than where the soldiers warred 
The room filled up with the xeno females, their younglings in tow 
Who stared with itchy fingers at the guardsman and his gun 

A yell of fear a pulse of engines the shattering of glass 
The window of the port broke to let the package pass 
A scream came from the defeated as they ran towards the door 
Dragging their younglings crying from the charge upon the floor 

The guardsman stood and could not move, his gun he could not use 
He knew the bomb had seconds and not minutes on the fuse 
He could not run and pick it up and throw it in the street 
There were far too many people there, too many running feet 

Take cover! yelled the guardsman, Take cover for your lives 
And the Aliens threw down their young and stood before their wives 
They turned towards the soldier their eyes alive with fear 
For the greater good’s sake, save our children or they'll end their short lives here 

The guardsman ran towards the bomb his stomach like a stone 
Why was this his battle in the emperors name, why was he alone 
He lay down on the package and he murmured one farewell 
To those at home in Nimbossa to those he loved so well 

He saw the sights of harvest felt the wind upon his brow 
The young girls in the munitorum parks, how precious were they now 
The soaring of the sw’it the beauty of the swilope 
The music of the cheering choir so soon would it be gone 

A muffled soft explosion and the room began to quake 
The guardsman blown across the floor, his blood a crimson lake 
There was no time to cry or shout there was no time to moan 
And they turned their children's faces from the blood and from the bones 

The crowd outside soon gathered and the chimeras came 
To carry off the body of a pawn lost in the game 
And the crowd they clapped and cheered and they sang their heretical song 
One guardsman less to interfere where he did not belong 

And will the young growing up learn at their mothers' knees 
The story of the guardsman who bought their lives 
Who used his youthful body as a means towards an end 
Who gave his life to those who called him murderer not friend 

===Will Smith: Men In Black===
Here come the Knights in Grey 
Imperiums defenders 
Here come the Knights in Grey 
They won't let you remember 

The righteous bear armor of grey, ok 
Just in case they have to come and send some Daemons away 
The order given to them, Or-do M 
Means with ease they will banish them 
So do not your eyes avert 
Or Chaos with ease will soon convert 
The chosen of the Emperor 
Number one Daemon purgers 
But to our Battle Brothers we dont exist 
On our Ordos most classified list 
Daemon infestion ? to the Emperor pray 
Cause you never know when we might save the Day, and.. 

Here come the Knights in Grey 
Imperiums defenders 
Here come the Knights in Grey 
They won't let you remember 

===Ozzy Osbourne: Hellraiser===
Im waaaaaghing on an endlis rode 
around’ da world ta krump beakies good 
sumtiems it ‘eels so tuff 
but I still asnt ad enuf 
I keep tellin dat its gettin alot 
but I no ize a liar 
feelin al rite in da noize n da lite 
but dats wut makes me waaaaaaaaaaaaaagh 

‘ell raiser, in da funder and ‘eat 
‘ell raiser, rock ya bak in ya seet 
‘ell raiser, an ize gon make it come troo 
‘ell raiser, ize gon do sum weird boy fings to you 

Waaaaghin on anuvver world, 
Anuvver hive anuvver place 
sumtimes I dun feel too gud 
ize get dis funny feelin an stuff 
da boyz keep sayin dat its not good fer me 
but bein a grot dun make it 
out of control, I playz da ultimate roll 
But dats wut lites my fire 

Chorus 

Im waaaaaghing on an endlis rode 
around’ da world ta krump beakies good 
sumtiems it ‘eels so tuff 
but I still asnt ad enuf 
out of control, I playz da ultimate roll 
But dats wut lites my fire 
Chorus 

===Nancy Sinatra: These Boots Were Made For Walking===
You's keep sayin' you's got sumfing for me. 
Sumfing you call WAAAGH!, but 'fess up. 
You's been muckin' where ya shudn' be muckin' 
An' now some uver gitz got all ya swag. 

Dese gitz was made fer choppin', an' dats just wot they'll do. 
One uv dese days da ladz is gunna stomp all uver you. 

You's keep lootin' when you's ought ta be krumpin' 
An' you's gots no wins, only beats. 
You's stayin' weedy when ya ought ta be 'ard 
Now wotz proppa's proppa, an' ya ain' been proppa yet. 

Dese gitz was made fer choppin', an' dats just wot they'll do. 
One uv dese days da ladz is gunna stomp all uver you. 

You's keep sulkin' where ya 'spose ta be loud. 
An' you's keep finkin' you's sumfin' speshul. 
Ha! Gotz me a brand new Choppa wotz dead killy, 
An' I ain' 'ad time fer breakin' it in... 

Ready ya gitz? Start choppin'! 

===Sabaton: Wolfpack===
To the sector came the Eldar 
Mars and Dictator 
leading the convoy west 

Took the warp gate in 
the long jump back - Convoy to Gryphonne 
Mars, Dauntless, Dictator leading 
Titans to the forge 
and upon the asteroid belt 
lies the silence of the sails 
on the dog's watch in the final hour 
the corsair fleets appear 

On all the auspex it seems quiet and calm 
Deep down below the xeno lurks 

To the sector came the Eldar 
Mars and Dictator 
leading the convoy west 
in their own track came the wolfpack 
Mars led the convoy 
into the hornets nest 

At the crack of dawn the second watch 
Dauntless wracked with flames 
half the convoy hulked or disabled 
heading to Command 
but below the fleet ecliptic 
out of sensor range 
on the second watch in the final hour 
the corsair fleets return 

The Eldar come in for a second time 
to make the Monkeigh face their fate 

To the sector came the Eldar 
Mars and Dictator 
leading the convoy west 
in their own track came the wolfpack 
Mars led the convoy 
into the hornets nest 

Lances blazing, fighters failing 
M42 when 
The Navy did fail the test 
To the sector came the Eldar 
Mars and Dictator 
leading them into death 

Asuryan makes the contact and lead them 
Isha's Tears scores a kill in the dark 
She Who Thirsts sinking 4 in 2 approaches 
Fading Star cut in half by a lance 

===Edgar Allen Poe: The Raven===
Once upon a battlefield dreary, where I cowered, spent and bleary, 
Within an Imperial bunker, darkly stained with dust and gore - 
As I cowered, nearly shuttering, suddenly there came a sputtering 
As some weapon quickly stuttering - firing at my bunker door. 
"`Tis some bolter", I murmured, "firing at my bunker door - 
Only this and nothing more." 

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December, 
And the brightly burning bastions lit the horizon by the score. 
Eagerly, on freedom drunker; - vainly had I sought to hunker 
In this heavy Imperial bunker - with perhaps a tunnel in the floor - 
A safe and empty fortress with perhaps a tiny tunnel in the floor - 
Only this and nothing more. 

And the mad raving howling of each distant Space Wolf prowling 
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before. 
So that now, to the beating of my heart, I stood entreating 
"`Tis some Space Wolf there repeating, firing at my bunker door - 
Some common Grey Hunter rapid-firing at my bunker door - 
This it is and nothing more." 

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer 
"Marine," said I, "or Scout, your attention I implore; 
The bunker walls are thick - they are made of tempered brick 
And your bolters do not nick the slightest scratch or tiny score - 
Not a dimple, dent, depression, dip, scratch or tiny score - 
Away now, and fire no more." 

Then in the bunker slumping, presently I heard a thumping 
A pounding - rattling many times fiercer than before. 
And soon I began to screech - the bunker wall grenades did breach; 
The very gods I did beseech as the ceiling fell upon the floor - 
Through the wounds poured light which danced upon the floor - 
Danced amidst the sounds of war. 

Then at once it stopped the violence - I was left alone with silence 
Confused, I spied the reason why the shells did drop no more - 
For as I began to shutter, then with many a flit and flutter 
a psyber-Raven flew through the clutter to perch above the door - 
Perched on the two-headed eagle just above the bunker door - 
Perched and sat and nothing more. 

At this I grew more craven, for the talons of the psyber-Raven 
Were all over covered with bright red blood and crimson gore. 
"Wretch!" I cried, "Njal hath lent thee - into this fortress has he sent thee 
So that remotely may he here be - and this bunker then explore - 
Scry out my exact location and this bunker then explore -" 

Quoth the Raven, "Eversor" 

Then, methought, the air grew darker, the bunker now a little starker 
For the uttered word brought terror as I had never felt before. 
As for weapons, I knew I had none - no bolter, sword or lasgun; 
No arms to stop the war's son fated to break soon through the door - 
The blood-mad crazed assassin fated to break soon through the door- 
Quoth the Raven, "Eversor" 

"Be that word our sign of parting, machine or bird!" I shrieked, upstarting - 
"Get thee back into the fire-fight and here spy on me no more! 
For as you came unbidden - I would otherwise be here hidden - 
Leave my location in this midden - quit that icon above my door! 
Take thy shining metal eye, and take thy form from off my door!" 
Quoth the Raven, "Eversor" 

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting - still is sitting 
On the pallid two-headed eagle just above the bunker door; 
His metal eye has all the seeming of a psyker that is scheming, 
To have my guts lie steaming in a pile upon the floor; 
And now all hope has left me, crouched here upon the floor 
I await the Eversor! 

===Henry the Fifth, Act III Scene I===

Once more unto the boards, Anon, once more, 
Or close the wall up with our Neckbeard dead! 
In-game there's nothing so becomes a man 
As massive fatness and huge faggotry; 
But when the /b/last of war brings in the cancer, 
Then imitate the action of the fatguy; 
Quote from the rulebooks, summon up the fluff, 
Disguise fat nature with hard-favour'd RAAAAGE; 
Then lend the one a terrible aspect; 
Let it stare until PCs are all dead 
Like the foul bodak; let the brow o'erwhelm it 
As fearfully as does a tiefling’s horn 
Add two charisma to his contorted face, 
Swirl'd in the wild and wasteful fourth-ed. 
Now roll the bones and sketch the portraits wide, 
Dream hard of breasts, that bend up every ‘spirit’ 
To his full height. On, on, you beardyest fatguys, 
Whose blood is fet from fathers of thin-proof! 
Fathers that, like so many useless tripfags, 
Have in these parts from morn till even raged, 
And saged their threads for lack of argument. 
Fap not to your mothers; now attest 
That those whom you call'd fatguys did beget you. 
Be copy now to men of better games, 
And show them how you roll. And you, warmachine, 
Whose limbs are made of pewter, show us here 
The metal of your minis; let us swear 
That they are worth their pricetag, which I doubt much; 
For I see most of you so mean and base, 
That hath not showered since last Petertide. 
I see you field warhounds in Apolaclypse, 
Standing upon their foes. The game's been lost! 
Follow your spirits, and upon this board 
Cry, "Rage at Vampire! Magic! and Fourth Ed!" 

===Nirvana, "Smells Like Teen Spirit"===

Load up da trukks

Bring yer boyz

`Kuz we's haulin'

Out all da toyz

Da `oomies run

Frum dakka gunz

I knows I knows

We's number one

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO-

Oomies can't `urt us wit' flamers

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

I squish pinkies wit' my anus

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

Cuz its choppy

Cuz its bashy

Cuz its dakka

Cuz we's sneaky

YA

Winnin' is what Orks do best

`Cause by Mork we's all been bless'd

Our mighty WAAAAAAAGH `as always been

And always will until the end

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO-

Oomies can't `urt us wit' flamers

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

Now I'm out dere, smashin' faces

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

Cuz its choppy

Cuz its bashy

Cuz its dakka

Cuz we's sneaky

YA

And I forgitz

Just wot it was

Oh ya, I think a melta bomb

I found it dere

It's tikkin' now

Oh well, I'll toss it at doze grots.

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO-

Oomies can't `urt us wit' flamers

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

I'm outta words, so I's WAAAAAAAAAAGH!

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

Cuz its choppy

Cuz its bashy

Cuz its dakka

Cuz we's sneaky

CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAGH!

CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAGH!

CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

===Sailor Tau===

Fire caste by moonlight 
Water caste by daylight 
Never running from a real fight 
She is the one named Sailor Tau 
She will...never turn her back on a friend 
She is... always there to defend 
She is...the one on whom we can depend 
She is the one named Sailor..... 
.... Sailor Broadside 
.... Sailor Stealth 
.... Sailor Crisis 
..... Sailor Drone 
With cosmic secrets 
All so new to her 
She is the one named Sailor Tau 
fire caste by daylight 
Water caste by daylight 
With her Sailor Shas'o to help fight 
She is the one named Sailor Tau 
She is the one named Sailor Tau 
She is the one . . . Sailor Tau!! 

===Weird Al Yankovic, Amish Paradise===

As I browse through the minis of my local games store 
I took a look at my life and realized I’m very poor 
But that's just perfect for an fa/tg/uy like me 
You know, I bought that space marine battle company 
At 4:30 in the morning dice are rolling 
PCs are dying the whole session railroading... fools 
And I've been plannin and ragin’ so long that 
Even my mother thinks that my mind is gone 
I'm a man of the die, I've passed my knowledge check 
Got a codex in my hand and a beard on my neck 
But if I finish all my painting and if you get Matt 
Then tonight I am putting on my wizard robes and hat. 

We been spending most our lives 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
I've done FATAL once or twice 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
It's hard work in rolling dice 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
We buy minis at high price 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 

A local boy made a Mary Sue last week 
I just approved it and saved my mad critique 
I really don’t mind, I didn’t even rage 
‘cause I dumped the Lady of Pain on him, flaying his mage. 
But I ain't never punched weeaboos even if they deserved it 
An fa/tg/uy with a tool? You know that’s unheard of 
I’m obese and smelly but have the best army 
And my homies agree, it did win the tourney...fools 
If you’re here for stories, you'll be wrecked in tears 
We have C.S Goto raping well known canon with shears 
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare 
We are just autistically impaired 

There's chainfists, chainswords, and lightning claws 
in our life hobby 
Like Cthulhu Mythos 
It's as grim an’ dark as can be 

We been spending most our lives 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
We're just fat and nerdy guys 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
There's no greater sin and vice 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
We all fight, by rolling dice 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 

Hitchin' up a game group, churnin' out new content 
Made a game on Sunday, soon I'll make another 
Think you’re pimp at rollplay? Think you can roleplay? 
I know I’m a million times more playa then you gay frey 
I'm the neckbeard guy the young Gygaxes wanna be like 
In the store day and night rollin’ paragon mad soulknife 
So don't be vain and don't be whiny 
Or else, weeaboo, I might declare Exterminatus on your army 

We been spending most our lives 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
We’re all crazy max/min-ites 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
We all dare to fantasize 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
We’re all virgins who roll dice 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 

===Blue Oyster Cult: Black Blade===
I was on a mission to fight for the Greater Good 
But this here Dawn Blade at my side don't act the way it should 
Keeps calling me it's Shas'O when I feel more like it's Gue'la 
And it keeps dragging me faster and faster to an early grave, yeah 
And it howls! It howls like hell! 
 
I'm told it's my duty to fight against them all 
That warring is my trade and I was born to wade through gore 
I just want to be a lover, not a blue-skinned screaming ghoul 
I wish it'd picked another to be it's killing tool 
 
Dawn Blade, Dawn Blade 
Forged a million years ago 
Dawn Blade, Dawn Blade 
Killing so it's power can grow 
 
It's death from the beginning to the end of time 
And I'm the Tau's champion, or is that just part of it's grand designs? 
And whole worlds are dying, and the burden's mine 
And the Dawn Blade keeps on killing, 'til the end of time 
 
Dawn Blade, Dawn Blade 
Bringing chaos to the world we know 
Dawn Blade, Dawn Blade 
And it's using me to kill my friends 
Dawn Blade, Dawn Blade 
Growing stronger so the galaxy will end 
Forcing my mind to bend and bend 
 
I am the Dawn Blade 
Forged a million billion years ago 
My cosmic soul goes on for eternity 
Carving out destiny 
Bringing in the Lords of Chaos 
Bringing up the Beasts of the Immaterium 
Sucking out the souls of heroes 
Laying waste to the Imperium 
My master is my slave 
Hahaahahahahahahahaha! 
You poor fucking Tau 
 

==='Twas The Night Before Emperor's Day===
'Twas the night before Emperor's Day, 
and he fought all alone, 
in a four foot deep trench 
lined with plasteel and stone. 
 
I was traveling the warp 
with gifts for the land, 
when I saw this lone guardsman 
making his brave stand. 
 
I looked all about, 
I looked near and far, 
no Chimera, no Basilisk, 
nor Techpriest or Commissar. 
 
No Sergeant yelled orders 
to this guardsman - no backing 
to fight this ridge full of xeno 
formed from pure evil, attacking. 
 
His armor in tatters, 
his eyes nearly blind, 
A sobering truth 
raced through my mind. 
 
His position was doomed, 
was my only thought 
and this soldier's brave stand 
would all be for naught. 
 
The guardsman stared unblinking, 
silent and alone, 
his lasrifle at the ready 
against his shoulder bone. 
 
His gaze was so calm 
in the face of calamity, 
the perfect picture of 
a guardsman of humanity. 
 
Who was this brave hero 
whose position I'd spied, 
warring against 
this unstoppable tide? 
 
I now knew that all humans 
I would see this night, 
owed their lives to these guardsmen 
who were willing to fight. 
 
Soon all round the galaxy 
the children would play, 
and grownups would praise 
the bright Emperor's Day. 
 
They all lived their lives 
every month of the year, 
Because of brave guardsmen 
like the one standing here. 
 
A tear came to my eye 
for those who stood alone, 
on a cold Emperor's Day Eve 
on a planet far from home. 
 
Their great sacrifices 
I could never betray 
So I drew my burning sword 
to join in the fray 
 
The soldier did turn 
and I heard a rough voice. 
"My Emperor, rest easy, 
this death is my choice; 
 
I fight for a freedom 
that may never be found, 
but not ever shall I waver 
on Your sacred ground." 
 
Then the Guardsman turned 
to face the incursions 
of the foul xenos and 
their unholy perversions 
 
I kept watch for hours, 
until the night was still 
and the guardsman lay broken 
on the bloody red hill. 
 
I could not just leave 
on that cold grim dark night, 
this guardian of honor 
so willing to fight. 
 
And as the guardsman lay dying, 
his soul strong and pure, 
he cried, "Ave Imperator! 
It's Emperor's Day! This world is secure!" 
 
I kneeled before the fallen, 
A great victory he'd won. 
"Happy Emperor's Day my guardsman, 
rest in peace, my son." 
 
===Daniel Decateur Emmett: Dixie Land===
No one knows how this all started 
but it don't suprize us empty-hearted- 
Get Away! Get Away! Get Away, xenos scum! 
 
When those came up in that ole Half-track 
We found the nerve to now push back! 
Get Away! Get Away! Get Away, xenos scum! 
 
Advance the flag there trooper! Hoorah! Hoorah! 
On far off lands we'll take our stand- 
And not die bloody cowards! 
 
To arms! To arms! and purge the fuckin' xenos! 
To arms! To arms! and purge the fuckin' xenos! 
 
Now John Fuklaw was an awesome sight, 
And rallied us into the fight! 
To arms! To arms! To arms! Fire away! 
 
And Raepfist cut a bloody swathe 
and Conrad Raege had to laugh and scoff 
Push on! Push on! Push on! Valiant men. 
 
Bring up that flamer trooper! Hoorah! Hoorah! 
Let's give 'em hell, and then die well! 
In service to the Emprah! 
 
Advance! Advance! They're no match for us trooper! 
Advance! Advance! Ave Imperiator! 
 
OH I love to serve the Emprah! Hoorah! HOORAH! 
On his holy land I'll take my stand- 
To fight on for the Emprah! 
 
Hoorah! Hoorah! Praise be to Holy Terra! 
Hoorah! Hoorah! Praise the Immoooooooortal Emprah! 
 
===Everyone Has Aids (Team America: World Police)===
Everyone has WARP
WARP! WARP! WARP!
WARP WARP WARP WARP, WARP WARP!
Everyone has WARP!

And so this is the end of our story
and everyone is dead from WARP.
It took from me my favorite son
My only true Warmaster
My conqueror of bright stars
(He got WARPed)

Well I'm gonna march on Terra!
Lead the Astartes and charge the brigades!
There's a Daemon inside of all of us...
I'll make them see, everyone has WARP.

My Commisar!
(WARP!)
My Astropath!
(WARP!)
My Chaplain and Librarian and Captain!
(WARP! WARP! WARP!)
The Xeno and witch, and the mutant and psyker!

Everyone has WARP!
My techpriest and my squig Old Blue
WARP! WARP! WARP!
The Primarch's got it and so do you!
WARP WARP WARP WARP, WARP WARP!
Come on everybody we got purgin' to do!
It's time to exterminate these worlds everyone has
WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP!
(WARP!)

===American Pie (Don McLean)===
A long, long time ago... 
I can still remember 
How that cultist used to make me smile.

And I knew if I had my chance 
That I could make those xenos dance 
And, maybe, they’d be purg'ed for a while. 
But February made me shiver 
With every bolt round I’d deliver.

Heresy on the doorstep, 
I couldn’t take one more step. 
I can’t remember if I wrrryed 
When I read about his lolcron bride, 
But something touched me deep inside 
The day the music died.

So die die, from the flames in the sky, 
Drove my raider to the crater, 
But the crater was dry. 
And them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry 
Singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die. 
"This’ll be the day that I die."

Did you write the litanies of hate, 
And do you live in the EMPRAHS faith, 
If the Codex tells you so? 
Do you believe in rock ’n roll, 
Can crack cocaine save your heretic soul, 
And can you teach me how to wrrrry real slow?

Well, I know that you’re in love with him 
`cause I saw you dancin’ in the gym. 
You both kicked off your boots. 
Man, I dig those rhythmic blues.

I was a lonely teenaged scout marine 
With a camo cloak colored brown and green 
I knew to see but not be seen 
The day the music died. 
I started singin’,

"Die die, from the flames in the sky." 
Drove my raider to the crater, 
But the crater was dry. 
And them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry 
Singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die. 
"This’ll be the day that I die."

Now since M.30 we’ve been on our own 
And heresy grows fat on a rollin’ stone, 
But that’s not how it used to be. 
When the harlequin sang with the noise marine, 
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean 
And a voice that came from you and me,

Oh, and while Lord Tzeentch was looking down, 
A loota boy stole his JUST AS PLANNED crown. 
The classroom was adjourned; 
No grade report was returned. 
And while Kharn raged about METAL BOX, 
Macha tried to get some in the park, 
And we rolled sixes in the dark 
The day the music died. 
We were singing,

"Die die, from the flames in the sky." 
Drove my raider to the crater, 
But the crater was dry. 
And them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry 
Singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die. 
"This’ll be the day that I die."

Helter skelter in a summer swelter, 
The birds flew off the Exterminatus shelter 
Eight miles high and falling fast. 
Nurgle-tan let loose a cloud of gas. 
Macha still couldn't get no ass, 
With old Failbaddon in a cast.

Now Cultist-chan wore cheap perfume 
While doomrider played a Slaaneshi tune. 
We all got up to dance, 
Oh, but we never got the chance! 
The Angry Marines tried to take the field; 
The Emperors Children refused to yield. 
Do you recall what was revealed

The day the music died? 
We started singing, 
"Die die, from the flames in the sky." 
Drove my raider to the crater, 
But the crater was dry. 
Them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry 
And singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die. 
"This’ll be the day that I die."

Oh, and there we were all in one place, 
All GRIMDARK and lost in space, 
With no time left to start again. 
So come on: Jack be nimble, Jack be quick! 
Candlejack sat on a can- 
Cause fire is the devil’s only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage 
My hands were clenched in fists of rage. 
No angel born in hell 
Could break that daemon’s spell. 
And as I purged her in the night 
To show her the emperors shining light, 
I saw Eldrad laughing with delight 
The day the music died.

He was singing, 
"Die die, from the flames in the sky." 
Drove my raider to the crater, 
But the crater was dry. 
Them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry 
And singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die. 
"This’ll be the day that I die."

I met a farseer who's love did bloom 
And I asked her for some happy news, 
But she just smiled and turned away. 
I went down to the wargear store 
Where I’d heard the music years before, 
But the techpriests said the music wouldn’t play.

Hand een thee stweets: thee childwen scweamed, 
Thee lovers cwied, and thee poeets dweamed. 
But not a hword hwas spoken; 
Thee chyurch bells all were broken. 
Hand thee thwee men Ay hadmire most: 
Thee father, son, hand thee holy ghost, 
They captyoored thee lhast train fooor thee coast 
Thee day thee myoosick died.

And they were singing,

"Die die, from the flames in the sky." 
Drove my raider to the crater, 
But the crater was dry. 
And them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry 
Singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die. 
"This’ll be the day that I die."

"Die die, from the flames in the sky." 
Drove my raider to the crater, 
But the crater was dry. 
And them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry 
Singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die. 
"This’ll be the day that I die." 

===Emprah's Rangers===
[Immortal God-Emperor of Mankind]: "Inquisitor! Heretics, Xenos, and Mutants are abound! Recruit a team of Acolytes with attitude!" 
[Inquisitor]: "Ayayayayay!" 

They've got, a power and a faith that you'vew never seen before! 
They've got, the ability to smite and to even up the score! 
No Grot, can ever take them down! The Emprah lies on their side! 
Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! The Mighty Inquisiting Emprah's Rangers! 

They know, the fate of Holy Terra's lieing in their hands! 
They know, to always use their weapons at the first chance! 
No Cult will ever take them down! The Emprah lies on their side! 
Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! The Mighty Inquisiting Emprah's Rangers! 

The Unclean, can never take them down! The Emprah lies on their side! 
Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! The Mighty Inquisiting Emprah's Rangers! 
Go go Emprah's Rangers! 
Go go Emprah's Rangers! 
Go go Emprah's Rangers! 

==="And the band played 'Fight on, the Navy'"===

When I I was a young man I flew in a ship, 
and lived the free life of a scouter. 
From the Twin Star of Aphor to the Aquila Rift, 
I danced my old scoutship all over. 
Then in nought-oh-fifteen, the Emp-ror said "Son, 
It's time time to stop scoutin', there's work to be done." 
So they gave me a rank bar, 
a Cruiser, a gun, 
and they sent me away to the War. 

And the band played 'Fight on, the Navy' 
as we boarded the Santa Maree, 
and amidst all the cheers, 
the cannonade and tears, 
we left for Bellerophon III. 

How well I remember the sight I saw then, 
the proud Navy cut down and shattered. 
And how in the hell that they called Lagrange Ten, 
We were butchered like poor bloody cattle. 
Old Boney was ready, he'd primed himself well, 
he cut us with Lances, and broke us with shell. 
And in five minutes flat, 
he had blown us to hell, 
nearly blew me right back to Agrippa. 

And the Vox played 'Fight on, the Navy', 
as we formed up and counted the slain. 
We'd lost half of ours, 
for a handful of theirs, 
but we charged right on back in again. 

Now us that were left, well, we tried to survive, 
in a mad world of lanceshot and boarders. 
And for nine minutes ten I kept my boys alive, 
as around me our numbers grew lesser. 
Then a whole mess of guardsmen stormed onto the bridge, 
they shot down old Kelley, the Nav and the Kid, 
and for some bloody reason, they just let me live. 
Never knew there were worse things than dying. 

For I'll do no more dancing my scouter, 
I thought as I ran for the pod, 
for a scout can't feel dread, 
he's got more balls than head, 
and that's one thing a coward ain't got. 

The handful of pods left I gathered to me, 
and we left like a bolt from a barrel. 
A dozen survivors of two-million-odd men, 
the Grand Fleet of Admiral Karil. 
And as we all dove into Catan's dock ring, 
and the three from the Mada all started to sing, 
the thought of my men, 
had a horrible sting, 
for not one had lived through the battle. 

And the band played 'Fight on , the Navy', 
for the wives of the men of Catan, 
Nobody cheered, 
they just saw us and stared, 
and then, the crying began. 

And now every march day I sit in the crowd, 
and watch the young guardsmen walk on then. 
I wonder to myself, not speaking aloud, 
why there's not one vet'ran with them. 
The young men march stiffly, all upright with pride, 
they're all brave young soldiers with nothing to hide. 
And then one kid asks, 
"Is that how daddy died?" 
And I don't have the courage to tell him. 

And the band plays 'Fight on, the Navy', 
As I answer my question before. 
If the march they could give, 
to the men who had lived, 
not one man would dare march at all. 

Dancin' my scouter, dancin' my scouter, 
who'll come a-dancin' my scouter with me? 
And their ghosts may be heard as you dance on by Bellerophon, 
who'll come a-dancin' my scouter with me? 

==External Links==
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=RSu4hOLYrXk Video of Pocahontas: Savages]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOG0jDvaIqk Video of The Prince of Egypt: Playing with the Big Boys]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=_0Nm0vf1W9Q Video of The Prince of Egypt: The Plagues]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0AiN8vrn9Y Video of the Lion King: Be Prepared]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=irp8CNj9qBI Video of Queen: Bohemian Rhapsody]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=5wON8-glDb0 Video of Robert Browning's poem My Last Duchess]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=4Pbl4x1OKqs Video of Ozzy performing Hellraiser]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=WLenuBXt2RE Video of Nancy Sinatra: These Boots Were Made for Walking]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=S5nw1-_5-Vk Video of My Chemical Romance: The Black Parade]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=jgqxQmAbTBc Video of Iron Maiden: The Trooper]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=n9C4fj5CfvA Video of Harvey Andrews: British Soldier]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=pxyhmx-DT44 Video of Will Smith: Men in Black]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=0Y9ZQsAgveI Video of Sabaton: Wolfpack]
*[http://www.asoldierschristmas.com Not a Video of A Soldier's Christmas]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=as0VmtpZVqM Video of Dixie]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Si8beWhBkg Video of Everyone Has Aids]

[[category:warhammer 40,000]]
[[category:Meme]]
[[category:Copypasta]]

2d4chan - User contributions [en]

Grimdark Songwriting