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Hive Mind

2018-09-14T08:10:40Z

2001:4930:48:53:C190:7B3B:EF91:C66A:

{{Topquote|''All consciousnes is one, separated only by a thin veil of the physical''|Jace Beleren, Vryn's planewalker.}}
{{Topquote|''What is a drop of rain, compared to the storm? What is a thought, compared to a mind? Our unity is full of wonder which your tiny individualism cannot even conceive.''|The Many, System Shock 2.}}

You know how your brain is made of a bajillion on/off chemical switches? What if you had a meta-brain that was made of a bajillion brains? Congrats, you're now envisioning what is basically a '''hive mind'''. Hive minds make for good villains, since you can have from a dozen to a city full of faceless minions that never fail morale checks. Some hive minds have a central hub 'queen', or multiple 'queens', while others have delegated thinking-drones with their own personalities. Others however no more have any sort of "core" units than you do "core" neurons.

Eusocial insects colonies like ants, termites, bees and wasps, are usually the textbook example of a hive-mind. Ants, however do not have any dedicated thinking units, nor any command structure: their queens are just immobile baby factories. There is no single thinking body or overriding mind spread among the insects; each individual acts on its own volition, informed by its instincts and acts for the [[Greater Good]] of the colony. Said instincts, sharped by evolution for social coexistence, gives each individual a predictable purpose and behavior independent of any higher thought organization. Each ant or bee is born knowing its place in the colony, and uses its own intelligence (humans have 344000 times more neurons then an ant) to perform actions that keep the whole colony alive, when said colony is reliant upon every other member of the colony also doing the same to manage resource intake, keeping the hive clean to limit sickness, protect the hive from other predators or rival colonies, and occasional produce breeding members to make more colonies. Really creepy when you think about it too much.

==Warhammer 40,000==
In Warhammer 40k, the "Hive Mind" is the ultimate, supreme grand master awesome badass overlord of all [[Tyranids]]. It blots out all psychic signals, including the [[Astronomican]], [[Astropath]] communications, and even the [[Warp]]. The latter is very upsetting to anyone that isn't a Tyranid (and probably Necrons, but the majority of them don't care either way).

The Hive Mind is made of literally every Tyranid creature, and the hive fleets are merely appendages of the Hive Mind. This means it is very, very, very big - fucking huge, actually: its capacity for violence and reach is far beyond that of [[Khorne]]'s while denying him any actual bloodlust, renders [[Tzeentch]]'s plans impotent (individual Tyranids have no minds to outsmart), the immortality offered as part of a greater whole is beyond the shambling eternity of [[Nurgle]], and no temptation nor depravity of [[Slaanesh]]'s can sway a Tyranid away from the Hive Mind any more than you or I could cajole a liver cell into acting like a kidney cell. The Emperor himself cannot penetrate the will of an entire spacefaring species acting as one.

There are only two recorded cases of the Hive Mind being in any way foiled: Varro Tigurius (in a story written by [[Matt Ward]], natch), and one case when a besieged [[Eldar|Craftworld]] managed to get a distress call out past the Hive Mind to the [[Eldar]] pirate prince [[Yriel]] (this fleshing out of lore was also written by [[Matt Ward]], but here it was a concentrated effort by an entire planet of highly psychic aliens, and more than one of their best died from the strain).

When facing a Tyranid in battle it is not the individual before you that you fight, but the Hive Mind as a whole operating through the body of said critter. Now this actually is as bad as it sounds, but luckily for the other races of the galaxy the Hive Mind is not flawless. Its largest weakness is that it is pretty much a gestalt, its power and aptitude to influence events growing with the amount of individual bodies in a given place at a given time. There are [[Lictor|exceptions]] [[Genestealer Patriarch|to this rule]], but generally speaking a single Tyranid organism isn't any more dangerous then, say, a hippo or a wolf. Oh ya it can fuck you up but without higher level thought it can't make a plan other then stampede, gore you and then stomp on the paste. It can't think beyond basic predator hunting tactics and forget about strategic thought. Even a large mass of Hormagaunts, while dangerous, has no ability to form tactics or act with forethought beyond that you would expect from a wolf pack, a wolf pack with swords instead of forelimbs mind you, but wolf pack none the less. But when expressed through the synapse creatures designed to channel it, the Hive Mind can express its full power through its otherwise stupid minions and the Tyranids can become nigh-on unstoppable. Even when present in overwhelming numbers, it is neither omniscient nor omnipotent and the Hive Mind can be tricked, outsmarted or even beaten into submission by sheer [[Necrons|resilience]] and/or [[Tau|firepower]]. This said: while the Hive Mind does make mistakes and can be outsmarted, you can fool it with the same trick only once; losses are anticipated and are useful either to cull the genepool, as fuel expended to ensure victory and/or simply to gather knowledge about a given lifeform to better adapt against it for the next time a Hive Fleet encounters said lifeform. The Tyranid Codex reminds us that even defeats anywhere may serve to ensure a victory somewhere else -- pray that you are at "anywhere" and not "somewhere else."

If you want to know its full brilliance: it once outwitted the [[Ultramarines]]. There you go.

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Tyranid]]

Tzeentch

2018-09-14T06:41:05Z

2001:4930:48:53:C190:7B3B:EF91:C66A: /* Introduction */

[[File:934501-tzeentch mark.png|center]]
[[File:Tzeentch the Architect of Fate.jpg|500px|thumb|right|Tzeentch thinking to himself, [[Troll|"Hmmm...I wonder what plans I would foil again?"]]]]
{{awesome}}
{{heresy}}
''JUST AS PLANNED... ALWAYS AS PLANNED... NEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHHE... LOL! - The Word of Tzeentch on just about any Misfortune you encounter''

{{Topquote|In the midst of Chaos, there is also opportunity.|Sun Tzu}}

{{Topquote|Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.|Friedrich Nietzsche}}

{{Topquote|I accept chaos, I'm not sure whether it accepts me.|Bob Dylan }}

{{Topquote|O Fortune, like the moon you are changeable, ever waxing and waning. Hateful life, first oppresses, and then soothes as fancy takes it; poverty, and power it melts them like ice. Fate - monstrous and empty, you whirling wheel, you are malevolent, well-being is in vain and always fades to nothing, ...|Oh Fortuna, from the Carmina Burana}}

{{Topquote|I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.|Johnny Depp}}

{{Topquote|Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.|Frank Zappa}}

"What are rules really, though?" - Tzeentch from [[If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device]]

==Introduction==
[[Image:Tzeench_political_poster.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Tzeentch has a fetish for birds; featherporn ahoy! Oddly, this is one of the rare few visibly female Lords of Change, probably because birds don't usually have tits. (Ever heard of a blue tit ya fucknoob? ((Why settle for a blue tit when you can have a GREAT TIT!)) (((WAIT A MINUTE, THEY'RE FUCKING BIRDS, WHY DO THEY NEED BOOBS?!)) (((Fanservice, Because Chaos, and Tzeench wants a harem in all likelihood.))) ]]
'''Tzeentch''', (pronounced Zeench) also known as '''Tchar, Chen the Deceiver, Tsien-Tsin, [[H.P. Lovecraft|Nyarlathotep]], the Troll Master, Cheenzh, the Raven God, the Trickster, the Lord of Nerds, [[/b/]], Emperor Lollercoaster, [[/pol/|International Jewry]], [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|The Indecisive Mollusk]], Lord Talky-Crotch, Hyper Dimensional Rick Sanchez and 9986 other names''' is the [[Chaos God]] of change, curiosity, lies, Ambition, mutation, [[Chaos|'Pure Chaos']], Machiavelli, politics, manipulation, trolling, the internet, progress, knowledge, magic, Chess, Lawyers and (despite being the closest Chaos God who matches the profile of a High-Functioning Psychopath) Hope (despite there being [[God-Emperor of Mankind|a contender for God of Hope]]).

In [[Warhammer Fantasy]] he already existed before the world like the other Chaos Gods, and the [[Old Ones]] actively tried to prevent [[Daemons]] from ever successfully invading the world by creating the different races of the game in an attempt to find something that could cheese Daemons in every battle until the very Warp Gates that the Old Ones used to come to the planet in the first place collapsed forming miniature [[Eye of Terror|Eyes of Terror]] at the poles of the world (''Just as planned''). He is said to have a fetish for [[Blood Ravens|Ravens]] amongst the [[Warriors of Chaos|Norse]] tribes and Condors amongst [[Warriors of Chaos|Kurgan nomads]]. There's no real picture for Tzeentch since the weird bastard always changes his appearance every time he sits for his yearbook photo. Some of the more memorable appearances have been: an opaline serpent constantly slithering in-place; a no-neck blue greater daemon with a skin pocked with faces that each repeat what the main head just said with different emphasis or tone; a rainbow-hued cloud of mist that speaks by casting echoes off nearby structures without making the original sound; a featureless green-skinned human in an archaic grey suit with the words "NO PICTURE AVAILABLE" suspended in the air where his face would be; and perhaps the most prominent, a giant imp with two penises growing out of its head. No, srsly. Unless..he could be Slaane-..*URGLBURGL*

Strangely, Tzeentch was often attributed to hope in the two settings, despite there being Chaos Gods of Order in Fantasy, and in 40k the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]] serving as The God of Hope in his career even if he never wanted to be worshiped as such. To be fair, there is a difference between hope and order. The Chaos Gods embody traits that can be directed for good or evil (how can hope be evil? To invoke Godwin's Law, Hitler hoping his genocide plans would succeed was evil, or as in Pandora's Box where hope prolongs suffering). It is entirely possible that what Games Workshop incorrectly called Hope is more accurately called selfish Ambition, the sort that would drive people to commit Machiavellian backstabbing, because in the grim darkness of the 41st millennium [[God-Emperor of Mankind|actual selfless Hope]] is pretty much [[Nurgle|a rotting corpse]].

He is typically the second strongest of the Chaos Gods, however he has advantage over Khorne when it comes to IQ, manipulation and leadership. In canon Chaos God vs Chaos God stories he has the largest number of victories and fewest number of defeats. He rarely does things directly and prefers to trick one of the Chaos Gods or their servants into fighting with one another (to the point that one can assume anytime a Chaos God goes to war with another one, he's probably behind it). He got Skarbrand, the then mightiest Bloodthirster, to attack his master. Skarbrand hit with all his strength but only put a chink in Khorne's armor and Khorne got unbelievably, incomprehensibly, all-consumingly pissed and grabbed Skarbrand and threw him so hard that he went sailing in the sky for days before finally crashing into the ground so hard that his wings broke. and whenever Tzeentch gets caught into these antics (most especially by an enraged Khorne) he could simply recite the rules (Yes, Chaos have strange rules) and testify to the circumstances proving that he wasn't responsible. If everyone including the Emperor and the Chaos Gods want to find him guilty for cheating then he will just twist it back to them because he wasn't violating the rules set by the highest authorities in the tabletop: the [[Mod]]s. in other words, Tzeentch is a Cosmic Attorney.

Except that millions of his followers will likely be slaughtered and his faith likely has a new enemy... but Tzeentch, like every Chaos God, is beyond our petty definition of victory and defeat. Which makes the above paragraph idiotically inaccurate, like most of our concepts of reality when the Warp gets involved.
[[File:Tzeentch Old.jpg|thumb|right|400px|The first depiction of Tzeentch in Warhammer art.]]
Once Tzeentch was the strongest of all the Chaos Gods and basically made the Warp his bitch. In 40k this was actually tied to a real world time period now known as a Dark Age of Technology - the golden age of prosperity, '''hope''', '''ambition''', and '''progress''', when Humanity and Eldar, who dominated the Galaxy defeated the diseases and poverty with their sophisticated science and sorcery and waged their wars through emotionless constructs and robots - no wonder Tzeentch was supercharged by these events and the other two gods were at their lowest of the lows. Unfortunately for him, he uncharacteristically didn't plan on the other two Chaos gods agreeing to team up against him and was shattered into countless fragments (it was his crystal staff in the old lore). [[Khaine|Unlike a certain other god]], he was able to put himself back together again, but he's still missing several pieces of himself. In Fantasy those pieces went on to become the first magic, and in 40k they caused a massive burst of powerful psykers being born, which combined with a robot rebellion humans experienced and pleasure cults Eldar went into brought the downfall of both civilizations, effectively ending their golden ages. Although, given the nature of gods, it's possible that the cause-consequence chain was the other way around with a war in the Warp being the representation of two great prosperous empires falling from their grace. [[The Blue Scribes]] are tasked with recollecting these fragments. Tzeentch also claims the Realm of Chamon in the [[Age of Sigmar]]. The [[Slann]] managed to create the Halosphere as a passageway to Tzeentch's lair.

If Tzeentch had a voice actor... Tzeentch would need different ones all the time. A good candidate is Aidan “[[A Song of Ice and Fire|Petyr Baelish]]” Gillan.

==Elf/Eldar Gods==
In 40k, he was ''seemingly'' the only Chaos God who didn't try to intervene when Slaanesh went on his/her/its "just-born" raping and killing spree as far as we know. But Tzeentch seldom works directly, so there's no way to tell for sure.

In Warhammer Fantasy, [[Asuryan]] is something of the Road Runner to his Wile E. Coyote. While Tzeentch's flawless and infinitely intricate plans of dickery seem to culminate with the Warp enveloping the world, something always goes wrong at the last minute and usually the High Elves or an ally of the High Elves are at the center of it. That's because Asuryan also has a plan, one he actually shares with mortal [[High Elves]] who take a vow of silence and become his monks. Asuryan's plan is NOT flawless however, and culminates in one giant last battle with a 50% chance of success or fail on his behalf between "good" (Order) and "evil" (Destruction). The outcome of that battle will decide if the Chaos Gods win or lose once and for all. Apparently, dragons will go extinct either way though. It turns out that his plan [[The End Times|didn't work out]].
Tzeentch also has direct relations with [[Morai-Heg]] who is a goddess of prophesy who can actively change fate at her will. Morai-Heg is a True Neutral kind of being who fucks with everyone's plans in ways that end up with them indebted to her one way or another. Usually because she manipulates things in a way to force you to come to her to undo the change she already made (you don't know she did this in the first place) and make a third result, which someone else probably asked for due to a change someone else made and...well, let's just summarize it as "''Everyone's plans are all going according to plan''".

==[[Just as planned]]...==
Tzeentch will always be three steps ahead of you; he out-dicks [[Eldrad]], [[Cegorach|The Laughing God]], both [[Sigmar|God]] [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emprahs]], and the [[C'tan|Deceiver]] hands down. Just an example: He tricked [[Slaanesh]] into provoking [[Khorne]], a fight she promptly lost. Why did he do it? He did it for fun.

Just don't mention [[The Game (Tzeentch)|Creed]] around him...

In Warhammer Fantasy, he's notable for never really doing much of anything really (except trapping [[Sigmar]] for years in the Wind of Heaven until Vortex on [[Ulthuan]] is destroyed and the Wind, under Sigmar's direction, enters the body of Emperor [[Karl Franz]] after his death.) His champions either have magical powers or limited ability to see and manipulate the future. Some just follow more charismatic champions of other Chaos Gods into battle, although when that champion inevitably falls Tzeentch's almost always survive to mutate another day. The setting's China equivalent, [[Cathay]], has wizards actively stealing Tzeentch's magic and using its effects to affect the world with greater power than normal magic can. They do this entirely without worshiping him or suffering Chaos mutations or taint (according to the fluff, they do worship Tzeentch, they just know him by another name and don't know his true nature... this is most likely a reference to Daoism and ''Yi Jing'', the Book of Change). Clearly Tzeentch mostly just focuses on 40k while the other three Chaos Gods play two tables at once (or maybe Tzeentch is lulling the Cathayans into a false sense of security...).

The funny thing is, Tzeentch's plots will never come to true fruition. They just go on and on, forever and ever, twisted and tangled for the sheer joy of it with no end goal or even a purpose behind them. Tzeentch is a god of ''chaos'', and a plan satisfied, tied up, finished, is a plan that has left his purview. There is no victory, no defeat, no end. Ends are stagnation, [[Nurgle|the opposite of all he represents]]. [[Games Workshop|There will only be the endless clatter of dice in]] [[Warhammer 40K|the mad, cruel games the gods play with the fates and souls of men]]. Rolled without end, amen. In this sense, Tzeentch truly is the Chaos God of hope because he will never allow Chaos to defeat the mortal plane if he can- at least, not if it doesn't lead to further changes. While most everyone else plays to win, Tzeentch plays for fun, for as long as he can. In older fluff, Tzeentch was also the Chaos God of magic and intellect, so if anyone wanted Tzeentch to win, they just had to make a clever plan that would further Tzeentch's goals and pull it off, increase the amount of magic in the world or become a wizard (so technically everytime a [[Storm of Magic|Storm of Magic]] happens would be a victory for Tzeentch), [[Matt Ward|though GW has downplayed that aspect of him]].

Possibly the god of "I meant to do that".

==Followers==
Tzeentch's followers tend to be Librarians/wizards, Sorcerers, nerds, psykers/magical beings, unstable mutants, and red-nosed misfits, but instead of [[Nurgle]]'s "I love you just for who you are," Tzeentch encourages his followers to revel in what makes them dweeb outcasts and go even further, constantly finding new ways to push limits and try things out just because they can. It's not enough that you've made this former Guardsman loyal, harder and better, faster and stronger, you could also fit another three arms on the guy, and if you added a head on his pelvis he would never be surprised, and he can't talk anymore so why not replace his larynx with a flamer sac? [[Chaos Spawn|Whereas other Chaos Gods accidentally pour too much love into their subjects]] (Slaanesh quite literally), Tzeentch does it on purpose because he actually knows what he's doing when he does so.

* Tzeentch Daemons are:
** '''Pink Horrors''': Ever-shifting gleeful balls of psychic rape. Really powerful ones are Heralds of Tzeentch. Courtesy of sixth edition 40k, these guys are now brotherhood of sorcerers, and a blob of 16 or more horrors can cast 3 spells per turn, and since they're daemons of Tzeentch they test on Ld10. Unfortunately, all the powers they have are '''FUN*'''. 8th edition Fantasy sees them as a blob of level 1 wizards who can't miscast, which are fun due to the randomness of them but aren't really competitive. The best-known of these is a being called the Changeling, who has the ability to transform into any being it wants, usually for the purposes of wreaking havoc behind enemy lines (although it has also been known to do so for pulling pranks as well, like planting Nurglings on the Skull Throne just as Khorne is about to sit down or cutting Slaanesh's hair while he/she/it sleeps). Apparently it's changed its form so many times it doesn't even remember what it originally used to look like.
** '''Blue Horrors''': When you kill a pink horror, it splits into 2 tiny, manic-depressive blue horrors. In 40k it just means your pink horrors hit back at S2 every time you kill one in close combat, which is kind of useless. Why are your horrors in close combat anyway? The Fantasy version of them are summonables that enter onto the field when the magic lore of Tzeentch sees a spell casted very well (since your Pink Horrors cannot miscast, throwing a fuckload of dice into a spell to produce more Blue Horrors is nifty). They're pretty weak though anyway, which is what keeps full Tzeentch armies from really being viable. A particularly notable pair of Blue Horrors are P'tarix and Xirat'p, also known as the Blue Scribes. Tzeentch sent them out to catalog every single magic spell in reality, knowing that they weren't smart enough to know how easily abused the power of said spells might be. Finally fixed in Age of Sigmar as they're now just weaker pink horrors that you place two when a pink horror dies.
*** '''Brimstone Horrors''': Also known as Yellow Horrors. Recently added in Age of Sigmar and 40k, oddly never mention until now since three is a running theme for Tzeentch. When a Blue Horror dies they turn into a pair of angry little fire daemons.
** '''Flamers''': like Horrors but less limb-y and way more mouths to breathe fire with. Also, this fire is S4 AP4. If you inflict wounds on a unit they have to take a toughness test, and if they fail they suffer D3 wounds with no saves allowed. On the other hand, if they pass the toughness test [[FAIL|they get feel no pain (6+) which can stack if they keep passing.]]. They're the main Daemon ranged option in Warhammer Fantasy, although they're pretty close range. Best used to shotgun an enemy right in the flank while it's engaged with something from one of the other Chaos Gods in melee. ''Just as planned'', right there in the crunch.
** '''Screamers of Tzeentch''': the Tzeentchian notion of cavalry; levitating manta rays with buzzsaw fins. Also melta-teeth for some reason. In Fantasy they function as chaff by harassing units and weakening them (with great luck killing something important like a mage) or forcing them to devote a turn killing them and thus leaving that unit open to whatever other Daemons you brought.
** '''Burning Chariots of Tzeentch''': One-man vehicles for heralds of Tzeentch or Exalted Flamers, which are like flamers but... exalted. In 40k this is where the AP2 Tzeentch Flame attack went after Flamers got a buff (but it's assault D3, for optimal '''FUN*''', and it also has a S5 AP3 torrent attack. These both follow the same warpflame rules as flamers do, but they also won't be leaving so many survivors so it's not as big a deal. Fantasy sees them as the surprise buttsecks machine, once again tearing through an enemy that's engaged with something else. Like Tzeentch's architectural styles though it's a glass cannon that WILL break if damn near anything short of an anemic [[Bretonnia|Bretonnian]] peasant orphan with a cold attacks it.
** '''[[Lord of Change|Lords of Change]]''': huge birdlike sorcerers that look like a [[Furry|werewolf's in-between state, only it's a werevulture-snake-velociraptor...thing]]. They have the power to predict the future at any given time so they're almost invincible, unless Tzeentch wants them to die, which going by all the times Tzeentchian Chaos Daemon and Thousand Sons armies lose, happens surprisingly often. They're the best non-named spellcaster available to Daemons in Fantasy. Chief among their number is Tzeentch's right-hand daemon Kairos Fateweaver, who was gifted the ability to to know everything that will ever happen (along with a second head). It's said that he knows the answers to all questions, but if you ask him, [[Troll|both heads give contradicting answers, with no way of knowing which head is telling the truth]], just [http://www.wobblymodelsyndrome.com/comic-80.html Don't ask him his name]. (Then again, there's nothing saying it's the same one lying every time.)
* Tzeentch's Chaos Marines come with an [[Thousand Sons|Egyptian motif]], and plenty of psykers and Sorcerers. Aside from that Tzeentchian marines are usually warband leaders, their advisors or prominent ambitious champions wishing to become one. Many of them hold their dedication to the Architect in secret, if only to keep their advantage of god's favor over other marines - ambition after all is the big deal for them. Fully Tzeentchian warbands do exist, but they are usually comprised of complete madman who hear voices, see future, hear all the lies in the world (simultaneously), can shape-shift or mutate at will or have some other mind-blowing (sometimes literally) "gifts" from the Architect. It helps that Tzeentch is likely based on the Ancient Egyptian god Thoth.
* Tzeentch's [[Warriors of Chaos|viking followers]] are usually the outcasts and elders of the tribes of the Norsemen rather than being a united group. They like to rock the "evil wizard" look with hooded cloaks and sacrificial daggers to compliment their tentacles and 3 faces on one head.
* He is also worshipped by the [[Cathay]]ans as their state religion.

==Facts==
*Sly Marbo is the only person that Tzeench cannot control. That and Creed, that sneaky fucker, who is currently holding a gun to my {{BLAM}}.

* The name Tzeentch was originally going to be "Thence" of Change (which is a six letter anagram of Tzeentch) the TZ was latter added and the name reworked at the suggestion of [[John Blanche]] returning from holiday in Tanzania, where he saw a Blue feathered bird performing tricks at the request of a tribal priest named Tuz Tuz.

* Tzeentch is likely inspired by the Ancient Egyptian god Thoth. Thoth was the bird-headed god of writing, science and magic; remember what Tzeentch's Greater Daemons look like.

* A little-known fact: Tzeentch is anon.

* Tzeentch was responsible for the Great Depression and the 2008 financial crisis. Also, the First Gulf War? That was him too.

* Tzeentch does it for the lulz.

* You know when your first puppy died? Tzeentch did that too.

* Tzeentch (much like [[Sly Marbo]]) knows and sees everything; thusly, he sees you masturbate and knows what fantasies you're having. And he laughs at you (again, much like [[Sly Marbo]]).

* Khorne is Tzeentch's favorite victim for hijinks because Khorne is very easy to string along.

* Slaanesh is Tzeentch's second favorite victim for his hijinks, because Slaanesh's desire for a new high makes him/her/it very easy to string along.

* Starscream is a servant of Tzeentch; he's got a huge amount of ambition. Too bad that Tzeentch won't let him succeed until he actually forms a plan instead of just saying "I am the new leader!" if Megatron so much as sneezes.

* Tzeentch is the god of hope among other things, yet he's a lot less friendly than the god of despair. Probably because most every being in the universe has had their fair share of despair and has learned to cope with it, while hope tends to show up just before you get ground into the dirt again. When the Despair-god comes knocking, you open a bottle and sigh, when the hope god shows up, you immediately wonder how you're going to get raped this time.

* Tzeentch has only ever truly lost to two beings: Creed and a [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|little kitten wearing a silver banana armour]].

* Tzeentch is a very morky god due to the fact he could set in motion a string of events that could lead to a lasgun in the back of the head when you aren't looking.

* Tzeentch is the only contestant to ever be banned from entering Deal or No Deal after winning $1,000,000 9 times in a row.

* During their early days, Tzeentch once put on a magic show for the 3 other Chaos gods. Among the 3, Khorne asked Tzeentch how he made Nurgle's Plaguefather disappear and reappear beside Slaanesh before their very eyes, which Tzeentch refused to tell and responded with "A good magician never reveals his tricks.", which caused Khorne to burn with unfathomable rage. To this day, Khorne still loathes magic and anyone who uses them, which became evident when the [[World Eaters]] killed all their Psykers when they defected to Chaos. Like always, Tzeentch just said "Just as planned".

* Tzeentch is slightly pissed over the fact how his only representation in DoW are the Pink Horror daemons and the Chaos Sorcerer, unlike Khorne who gets Berzerkers, Chaos Marines chant "Skulls for the Skull Throne!" on attack and how he got an epic unit, the "Bloodthirster" and the fact that he has two Chaos Lords dedicated to him and the fact that his legion shows up in Winter Assault as one of the primary opponents, Khorne then goes on to get Bloodletters, Bloodcrushers, The Chaos Lord, who is the best damn commander in the game (though the Warboss has funnier dialogue) in DoW II, while in contrast, he's stuck with the sorcerer and his marines aren't even Rubrics. Still, better than Slaanesh, who only ever got the Emperor's Children default color scheme throughout the entire series. But now Slaanesh is getting Noise Marines in Retribution, which are sorta like SM Plasma Cannon Devastators. All Tzeentch gets are marks for certain units, which turns everyone of them into tank/infantry raping death machines, especially the generic marines.

* However, in DOWII, Tzeentch is still reveling in the fact how he got [[Scott McNeil]] to voice the generic Chaos sorcerers again. '''HOWEVER!!!''', the Sorcerer's voice then became more soft, monotonous and unenthusiastic, which '''GREATLY''' angered Tzeentch.

* Tzeentch appears to be GW's least favorite of the Chaos Gods, his units tend to be the worst out of the four chaos gods, his stuff gets the least amount of attention, and the least amount of fluff written for him. Hell, there's often cases where despite magic/psykic powers being his specialty, Nurgle and/or Slaanesh give a better selection than he does. (Except for Age of Sigmar, where he's really good.)

* Some people play chess with reality and manipulate events and people like chess pieces, others play pool/billiards with it, moving things along like a cue ball and cue stick, others play poker with the universe, bluffing and cajoling things to receive favorable outcomes, other play roulette with the cosmos, making all the little movements needed for that lucky roll. But Tzeentch, Tzeentch does it all at once in the nightmarish game of [[Paradox poker|Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker]], or PBVRFDHCSP a game that only a true master of dickery and the ability to perceive the past, future, and present can really play without looking like a massive tool.

* Every Saturday night, Tzeentch gets together with the [[C'tan|the Deceiver]], [[Cegorach]], and the [[Emperor]] for a rousing game of Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker. The sheer amount of dickery and [[JUST AS PLANNED]] that goes on during these games is so vast that if you were to watch one of these games, your head would 'asplode into a shower of [[Necrons]], [[Daemon|Daemons]], [[Eldar]], and [[Space Marine|SPESS MEHREENS!]]. Even Khorne is afraid to watch one of these games for fear of his head's un...asplodedness... Nobody ever wins though, (mainly because the Emperor take too long on his turns). Creed was banned from these tournaments after infiltrating queens into the games and somehow rigging the roulette tables beforehand one too many times.

* Tzeentch's favorite characters in Mortal Kombat are Quan Chi, Shinnok and Shang Tsung. Though Tzeentch favors Quan Chi more than the other two due to him being (arguably) the most manipulative bastard in all of Mortal Kombat. Hell, he is mostly responsible for almost all the events that happened. In fact, Quan Chi is considered the most untrustworthy character in all of Mortal Kombat considering that he has chronic backstabbing disorder, constantly lies and never fulfills his promises.

* Tzeentch's favorite Black Library novel is "A Thousand Sons". This is mostly because he relishes over the fact that he is such a magnificent bastard for all the things he did in said novel.

* Tzeentch created [[C.S. Goto|C.S. Multilazor]] to specifically troll Khorne's fluff.

* Tzeentch has planned everything you do, even this. Who knows what this article is distracting you from? Tzeentch does because he's why you're here. Woah! Where do you think you're going? You're leaving, eh? 'Just as planned'...

* Tzeentch didn't write this article. But he set in motion [[Just As Planned|every single event]] that contributed to it. Yes. Even this specific author's decision to write this paragraph.

* The one place Tzeentch is afraid to go is the Well of Eternity; he believes that it is the beginning and end of the universe. He was wrong, it is where Sly Marbo lives. To find out what was in there, he sent in expeditions of Lords of Change and Horrors but they never came back out. Finally he just grabbed Kairos Fateweaver, his vizier, and threw him in. Due to lots and lots of [[Just as planned]] Fateweaver survived but was horribly disfigured. Marbo slapped himself for letting that one get away and forced himself to keep doing pushups until a planet the size of Jupiter was split in half as self discipline.

* The [[Warcraft]] and Starcraft franchises' existence are both Tzeentch's doing, he is the one that caused GW to turn down Blizzard's initial offer to make an RTS game. When Fateweaver was interrogated about why Tzeentch did that, the lying head dodged the question and the truth telling one said that there was no reason. Or did it.....

* Created Facebook....regretted it instantly but managed to troll the whole planet by making them buy Oculus Rift, no real logic just to fuck up Oculus's release schedule - It worked just as Planned!

* Contrary to what many would assume, Tzeentch is terrible at RTS games because he can never focus on one goal for a long enough period of time to focus on winning, or least that's the reason he claims why he lost at Supreme Commander to an illiterate [[Ork]] that did nothing but hit random keys the entire game.

* Tzeentch claims that [[Snowflame]] was his doing, arguing who else could be insane enough to create such a character. Slaanesh claims that Tzeentch is lying and that Snowflame is his/her/its doing, but Tzeentch points out that Slaanesh is also a liar, meaning that nobody knows who is lying.

* Tzeentch's realm is guarded by a labyrinth that can only be passed by the mad. It was only defeated once, by a little girl with a small black dog, and even Tzeentch doesn't know how because the guardians refuse to discuss it. This is canon.

* Tzeentch invented Scrappy Doo because he was bored.

* Tzeentch was the first being to create the Death Note. Possibly the one who made the idea of it all and gifted this to the Shinigami themselves.

* Since Tzeentch achieves his goals by having his many plans constantly foil each other and benefiting from the fallout of said foiled plans, this makes him one of the few beings who achieves [[Just As Planned]] as a direct consequence of [[Not as Planned]]. Depending on how you think about it, this means Tzeentch could technically be considered a god of both.

* If the Deceiver and Tzeentch battle and the Deceiver wins Tzeentch actually wins in disguise. and vice versa. and this effect is cumulative. therefore an unending cycle of win or don't win is created there are currently over 9000 such cycles in existence

* Tzeentch has a pet cat that is both [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat alive and dead].

* Tzeentch can be defeated with the following train of logic.
:* You: So Tzeentch, you are a god of chaos?
:* Tzeentch: Yes.
:* You: So you would say that you are completely unpredictable?
:* Tzeentch: Yes.
:* You: So that means it is predictable that you will be unpredictable?
:* Tzeentch: ...

* Tzeentch is the reason the internets hyperlinks are Blue.

* Tzeentch coined the phrase "You activated my trap card".
* Tzeentch created the bug that causes Gandhi to go nuclear in Civilization.
* Greedo shooting first was Tzeentch doing.
* Tzeentch's favorite Gundam character is Char Aznable, the sheer amount of JUST AS PLANNED that the Red Comet uses put a grin on his face-for a brief moment.

==See Also==
*[[Thousand Sons]]
*[[Ballad of the Thousand Sons]]
*[[Thousand Son and Guardswoman]]
*[[The Game (Tzeentch)]]
*[[Rubric Marines]]

==Gallery==
{{promotions}}
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Just as planned tzeentch.jpg
Image:Tzeentch_lord_of_change.jpg
Image:Tzeentchies.JPG|Tzeentchs followers
File:A_Typical_Sorceror_of_Tzeentch.jpg|A typical sorcerer of Tzeentch.
File:Tzeentchian Cultists.jpg|Pretty much how his cultists operate.
File:TzeentchianDie.gif|Tzeentch's dice change a lot when rolled.
File:TzeentchPinup.jpg|Even your masturbatory habits are just as planned.
Image:Tzeentch's_True_Form.png|This is speculated to be the true appearance of Tzeentch.
Image:MrTzeentch.jpg|The Avatar of Change. <s> We are all Tzeentchian now.</s> Not anymore. The God Emperor took his place.
Image:1ksons pokeymans.JPG| "I choose ''YOU;'' teach them all that Power demands Sacrifice!!"
File:Tzeentch servant.jpg|Different demon, same thing, or is it? Just as planned!
Image:Tzeentch_mark.png|His Mark. Side effects may include growing extra eyes and rambling about the plans.
Image:666511 - Lord of Change TentacleMonsterChu TheTentacleMonster Tzeentch warhammer.jpg|This proves that Tzeentchian Daemons can sometimes be naughty too.
</gallery>
</center>

{{ChaosGods}}

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

/b/

2018-09-14T02:54:02Z

2001:4930:48:53:C190:7B3B:EF91:C66A: /* Nostalgia Filter */

{{stub}}
[[/b/]] is the "random" board/[[Just as Planned|the chaos god of change's magnum opus]], and the lowest pit of evil and [[chaos]] in [[4chan|the reaches of eternal damnation]] of the internet, some say it is the true home of the Chaos Gods and it is [[Tzeentch|Tzeentch's]] greatest creation since it is "pure chaos" embodied and cultivated for his own amusement. On [[4chan]], [[/b/]] is the most popular board of all - primarily since, like every other part of the internet, users don't need any logic or sense at all to "contribute" to it. It also [[Slaanesh|breaks all the boundaries of NSFW]] and if you were to be caught at work browsing /b/'s porno related threads, [[PROMOTIONS|you'd not only get fired but probably also get arrested]] (although, let's be realistic, if you were caught browsing 4chan in general at work, you'd still probably get fired). View at your own risk.

But since /k/, [[/co/]], [[/d/]], and [[/tg/]] were created, all the oldfags of /b/ left after noticing that the board had dropped to a level of shit that was much lower than their standards. /b/ is now plagued with newfagism and porn. Not unlike /a/.

Rumors persist that [[/v/]] has become the new /b/, plagued by butthurt and ripe for the [[troll]]-reaping. Due to constantly going off topic, posting NSFW pics and now [[Humanity Fuck Yeah]] threads on /tg/, it wouldn't be surprising if we followed in /v/'s footsteps. Halt the Hun - [[/tg/ gets shit done|contribute]] today!

==Nostalgia Filter==
Okay, time to rip off the Nostalgia Filter. [[/b/]] has not descended into a massive level of shit, it's that everyone who has left it has matured. The [[Slaanesh|immature,]] [[Nurgle|disgusting]] and [[Khorne|horrible]] humor of /b/ has been there from the beginning and now that you've matured you can see it for what it is. Those who complain about new members ruining /b/ have posted the exact same things while they were younger. It's actually worse than [[/d/]] at this point. /d/ at least formally bans gore. /b/? No such compunctions. Post torture, post ISIS executions of US POWs, you name it, they give no shits.

==History==

''/b/ was never good... but it was certainly better!''

[[/b/]] was the first board on 4chan, officially launched on October 1st, 2003, although the site was up a few days prior. Before the creation of /a/ a month later, /b/ held the title of "/b/ - Anime/Random" after which it simply became "/b/ - Random" and has stayed so ever since. /b/ was always a paragon of anarchy with a "no rules" policy, and has had a dismal signal-to-noise ratio. That is not to say that all /b/ threads are bad, but it does mean that finding them is like searching for rhinestones in a sea of manure and piss.

/b/ is the largest and fastest 4chan board, and is often the board that represents all of 4chan in news reports about {{Anonymous}} hackers and bullies; the distinction between 4chan and /b/ is seldom made. /b/ is also the board most likely to greet new 4chan users, who are eventually expected to migrate to other boards after an acclimation period. The migration may be a result of the individual realizing that /b/ has very little to offer them, or it may be due to the formation of new boards. [[/tg/]] is a direct result of /b/'s Warhammer Wednesdays, for example.

Sweeping generalizations of large populations are seldom accurate, but it is safe to say that /b/ has the air of an immature teenager with a can of spray-paint and a lighter. Characterizing /b/ is difficult, to say the least, but the wild-card persona may mean that any representation of him (or her, even) could work. Villain, foil, horde, punching bag, or supernatural conglomerate entity would all be acceptable.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:1151643938588.png
Image:1160672302018.jpg|A fine /b/astard explaining the essence of /b/.
Image:1160675371745.jpg
Image:1153853565590.jpg
Image:1212704119621.jpg|/b/ as it was, strong and capable of punishing camwhores. Before the abomination known as Boxxy came along.
Image:1160933983882.png|This thread, of course, existed long before [[Katawa Shoujo]].
Image:1160634182482.jpg
Image:1158690502044.jpg
Image:1175572020398.png|/b/ has always been a fine entrepreneur of suicide methods.
Image:1193327526031.jpg|That stuff is like IcyHot, but less sciency and more homosexual.
Image:1185769350036.png
Image:Earthbound.jpg|A [[Classic Blunder]] on /b/, four months before /tg/ existed.
</gallery>

----

Has a [[Board-tans/b|Board-tan counterpart]].

----

[[Category:RAGE]]
[[Category:4chan|b]]

Eye of Terror

2018-09-14T02:11:57Z

2001:4930:48:53:C190:7B3B:EF91:C66A: /* Gathering Storm */

[[Image:Warhammer40k_galaxy_map.jpg|right|thumb|250px|The Eye of Terror is the swirling purple vortex of doom...?]]

{{Topquote|All hope abandon, ye who enter here.|Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy}}

The '''Eye of Terror''' is the light years-wide black hole of chaotic psychic energy that is also the largest dimensional vortex between the [[Warp]] to the [[Materium]] and the birthplace of [[Slaanesh]], created from the entire Eldar race's collective unconscious when they participated in a mass psychic resonance of galactic proportions. (In layman's terms: [[Anal Circumference|they fuck-orgied each other so much all their orgasms merged into a living God Of Rape that ripped open a massive asshole into the very fabric of spacetime itself.]] The Eldar race had become decadent, hedonistic, and indulgant in every possible sin and sexual vice imaginable. Yes it is as <s>hot</s> hot as it sounds.)

The creation of this galactic laceration killed off the mass majority of the species in its boundaries, with any planets that remain being utterly [[Rape|fucked beyond comprehension]] after the Birth of Slaanesh. As a result the rest of the Eldar are living on Craftworlds or faraway planets, save for the [[Dark Eldar|BDSM addicts]] who are living inside the [[Webway]]. Currently, the Eye of Terror is home to the [[Chaos Space Marines|legions of traitor astartes]], most of the surviving [[Primarchs]], the greatest concentration of [[heresy]] in the materium and some unlucky Eldar who still live despite the fall (but more often than not in eternal rape). According to the [[Warhammer Fantasy]] 8th Edition Daemons of Chaos army book, the Eye of Terror connects to the same Warp as Fantasy.

It seems in certain fluff, the Eye of Terror was named Cygnus x-1.

==[[What it's like]] in there==
Inside the Eye of Terror, nearly all is subject to the nutty whims of the Chaos Gods and their daemons. What this means is ANYTHING is possible inside this weird vortex. (And not possible, hey it's chaos after all!) So you have worlds in constant fluxes of change; worlds of decay where everything is kept horribly alive somehow; worlds of crystal lit from within by [[witchfire|witchfires]]; and worlds made entirely from the bodies of slaves all merged and molded together... and again, somehow kept alive! It is literally a living physical hell, and any normal person going in without [[Call of Cthulhu|sanity checks]] will have their brains imploded. There are no maps or regions in this place - just the constant shifting battle-lines as the gods, daemons and their mortal followers battle to claim the worlds for their own.

As mentioned above, a lot of the worlds in the Eye of Terror were the old Eldar homeworlds, now referred to as the Crone worlds. There are lots of goodies still stashed away on these worlds and up for grabs, if you don't mind risking your eternal soul. Despite this, the Eldar (and other individuals cough [[inquisitor|inquistors]] cough) make the risky journey into the eye to acquire some loot, but most end up being corrupted or [[Chaos Spawn|usually much worse]] .

Despite it being an endless tempest of raw Eldritch power in the very fabric of physical creation, home to some of the most powerful and brutal warriors in the [[41st millennium|setting]], it still does not deter or even frighten the [[Ollanius Pius|Balls-of-Steel]] [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Guardsmen]]. This is because of the [[Cadian Gate]].

The scariest part? The closer you get to the centre of the Eye (referred to as the [[Byysos]]) things get weird, even by Chaotic standards. Demons and Traitor Marines will avoid getting close to it as things going near it don't tend to come back.

==The Cadian Gate?==
Yes, the Cadian Gate.

Y'know how in those war movies, there's that one part where the soldiers are all hanging out partying before the shit hits the fan and they're pressed into service? That's kinda what the Cadian Gate is like to the Eye of Terror. Named after the [[Cadia|planet]] nearest to it, the Cadian Gate is the most stable region around the Eye of Terror owing to the fact that [[Necron|large, strange artifacts of ancient alien design]] are found all over Cadia and its neighbouring planets. Because of its location in the Eye and because it's the only place not constantly fucked with Warp storms, Cadia (and indeed the entire Cadian Gate) is an enormous flash wherein the Chaos Legions raid the Imperium from their Daemon worlds - [[Creed|only to be completely and utterly WTFPWN3D in an ambush by 100 Baneblades and 75 Imperator Titans hiding behind a lamppost]], the biggest of which happened during the Black Crusades.

===The Black Crusades===
There have been 13 of them in total led by a [[Abaddon|certain armless failure]]. Despite his title and the jeering of /tg/ or the retconning of GW, the last Black Crusade managed to really fuck things up - not just for the Imperium, but for EVERY SINGLE FACTION INVOLVED! Chaos Legions splintered and broke off, Guard regiments and Space Marine chapters turned renegade, Warp storms swept the area, Orks are WAAAAGH-ing all over the place (most often against themselves), Tyranids are <s>going on feeding frenzies</s> reeling from the Chaos fallout and [[Hive Fleet Kraken|other crazy shit]]. Serious! Check the numbers from the Eye of Terror campaign and the Disorder forces actually won it. Cadia itself got massively fucked up.

The Disorder forces, however, got creamed in the specialist games, resulting in the Imperial Navy (and the fucking OP Necrons and Eldar) shoving it's metal cock up Abaddon's ass.

==Known worlds in the Eye of Terror==

* Belial IV: An Eldar crone world, it was one of the capital worlds of the old Eldar empire. Now it is a ghostly shell but rumoured to still house countless Eldar treasures....which of course is the perfect line to have a constant string of the elf-y bastards trying to loot the place without getting their [[Anal Circumference|assholes ripped apart in 11 dimensions by Slaanesh]].

* Medrengard: The Iron Warriors homeworld in the Eye of Terror. It is basically one big city in constant industrial motion. It is here Perturabo sulks eternally, annoyed his playmate Rogal was silly enough to get himself killed.

* Bubonicus: A daemon world owned by a daemon prince of the same name in service to Nurgle. Visions of this place give psykers across the Imperium terrible <strike>taco-shits</strike> nightmares that probably have some sort of plague mixed in as a bonus. This plague-ridden planet is notable for its equator-spanning line-dance in the name of Nurgle, the dancers eventually mutating into Plaguebearers and breaking off so new mortals can endlessly take their place.

* Sortiarius, the Planet of the Sorcerers: The world given by Tzeentch to Magnus the Red and the Thousand Sons as their new homeworld after the end of the Horus Heresy. It is a world wrecked by warp storms and with towers thrusting out of the crust of the planet. Magnus mostly stays on the planet in his tower with a big eye on it, which is totally not ripping off Sauron, and plans his legion's campaigns <s>against the Imperium</s> for getting more books to nerd out. UPDATE: No longer in the Eye, because Magnus pulled it into real space. [[Just As Planned | JUST AS PLANNED!]]

* Plague Planet: The generically named world of Mortarion. He modeled it after a dark reflection of his homeworld, [[Barbarus]], much to [[Typhus]]'s displeasure.

* Oliensis: Devoted to Slaanesh, the entire planet is actually a [[neckbeard|colossal, morbidly obese man curled into a fetal position]] ([[what|yes seriously]]). [[/d/|The planet itself will eat you like a Dorito (and corrupt and regurgitate you)]] if you try to start shit there, as an [[Judged|unfortunate Space Marine chapter]] found out during a [[Abyssal Crusade|totally fun company-sponsored vacation trip]]. Home of the [[Noise Marines]].

* Xana: the first and the biggest of the [[Dark Mechanicus]] Hellforges, and the primary place where traitors go to get new ships, tanks, daemon engines, armor, [[Dakka | and guns and ammo to shoot]] at loyalist scum and each other. Unlike most other Hellforges that were normal daemon-worlds until DarkMechs colonized them, Xana used to be a Forgeworld before the Heresy, and got teleported into the Eye after the Heresy failed in what was pretty much a reverse version of the ritual that Magnus used later to teleport Sortiarius out.

* [[Fulgrim]]'s [[PROMOTIONS|Pleasure Planet]]: No one knows where it is and [[Emperor's Children|many]] have tried to find it, but since no one's succeeded yet it's safe to assume it's either located [[Anal Circumference|inaccessibly deep ]] in the Eye or no one who actually located it bothered to leave and tell the others (Lorgar did used the Webways to travel the planet just before the [[Siege of Terra]] to pull Fulgrim back into command of his legion). Knowing the Emperor's Children, it's probably the latter.

* Sicarus: Homeworld of the [[Word Bearers]], and where [[Lorgar]] sits on his sorry ass meditating all day. Kor Phaeron established his colony on this planet after the Battle of Calth, and the Word Bearers moved in later during the Scouring. The planet is basically a [[Chaos|Chaotic]] version of [[Terra]], right down to its [[Extra Heresy|"planet sized temple"]] status, and it's ruled over by a [[Dark Apostle|Dark]] [[High Lords of Terra|Council]] rather than Lorgar himself. The largest cathedral, the Templum Inficio, is reserved for Lorgar and his heresy-fueled meditations.

* Drakaasi: One of the few [[Khorne|Khornate]] daemon worlds (that we know about), this paradise features everything you'd expect from the Blood God: vast oceans of blood turning it into a red version of Venice, arenas and fighting pits around every block, a massive graveyard filled with [[Awesome|huge-ass weapons converted into residencies]], and of course a battlefield to add skulls to the skull throne. A rather interesting feature is a massive crystalline structure, which plays [[Sonic Weaponry|music]] dedicated to Khorne himself. Huh, guess he is a man (god?) of culture after all.

* Harmony: A major base for the [[Emperor's Children]], this is the planet where [[Fabius Bile]] created his homemade, collector's edition [[Horus]] clone. It was later attacked by [[Abaddon]] during his [[RAGE|big temper tantrum]] against the III Legion, and he had the planet's fortress, Canticle City, [[Awesome|blown up by a falling Cruiser]].

* Maeleum: The [[Extra Heresy|other "Chaotic Terra"]] in the Eye, this is where the Sons of Horus stored and worshiped their [[Primarch]]'s corpse after he got his ass kicked by Emperor, until it was stolen by the [[Emperor's Children]]. Some time after the planet's abandonment, Abaddon discovered a destroyed [[Black Templars]] strike cruiser on the planet's surface, [[FAIL|which provided him with information on the current status of the Imperium]]. Still later a [[Death Guard]] Sorceror Lord named Thagus Daravek used pieces of the planet's crust as ammunition against the Black Legion, [[FAIL|though he basically missed every shot]].

* Logans World: A barren place where humans and Orks fight for survival in the planet's hostile enviroment. [[Derp|We still don't know who the eponymous Logan is though.]] It's worth mentioning that this planet seems to be one of the few "mundane" worlds in the Eye that we know about, as well as one of the few that is firmly under Imperial control.

* Temporia: A [[Tzeentch]]-aligned Hellforge overflowing with [[GW|factories]], [[Daemon Engines]], and other horrible contraptions. The [[Dark Mechanicus]] stationed here managed to [[Awesome|yank the planet out of orbit from the Eye of Terror]], using said depraved machinery to assault the Cadian Gate during the 13th [[Black Crusade]]. The Dark Mechanicus's rule is currently being contested by the Adeptus Mechanicus from the [[Forge World]] of Agripinaa. So far they seem to be in a stalemate.

* Urum: A Crone World that serves as the main base of Fabius Bile and his Consortium. [[/d/|Don't even ask]] [[FATAL|what goes on in here]] (Hint* it is good, wholesome, pure fun).

* [[/tg/|World of Immortal Sorrows]]: A Crone World ruled over by Elyssar'sirath, a [[Daemon Prince]] of [[Slaanesh]]. Basically the absolute worst place to be in realspace if you're an Eldar, though it might be best to avoid it if you're a [[Imperium|human]] as well.

==Important Personages in the Eye of Terror==

* Chaos Gods - You can't get higher then the arch-dukes of evil themselves. They each claim the worlds of the Eye as their own and spend every second warring to gain control of them, like supervillains trying to outdo each other in world-conquering plots. Khorne's plots focus on [[Exterminatus|slaughtering everyone off each planet]]. Slaanesh tries to recreate his super dick move orgasm attack to take over worlds by [[Anal Circumference|overloading the inhabitants' very own metaphysical assholes into impossible geometries that would make Euclid's brain asplode]]. Tzeentch tries to use his [[Just As Planned|clever plots]] and [[Tomb of Horrors|elaborate deathtraps]] to take over, even if [[Abaddon|Failbaddon the Armless]] is the most frequent victim of such elaborate superdickery. Nurgle just prefers to wait patiently for everything to wear out and rot everything away - good for him, not for anyone else.

* Daemon Primarchs - Each a major or at least legendary player in the Eye, some of the traitor Primarchs have their own worlds while others head the efforts of the different Chaos Gods to claim more for themselves. Because each traitor Primarch is nuttier then a fruitcake by now, they each have different, diverse reasons for warring in the Eye for control.

* Angron - He just wants to kill and rage, as the nails in his daemon-brain make him ever crazier with each passing aeon and his only relief from the rage is MOAR RAGE. Giving worlds to Khorne is just a bonus.

* Fulgrim - No one knows where the fuck he OR his ultimate pleasure world/palace is, but it gives relentless [[Promotions|incentive]] for other traitors to find it. Abaddon met with him on a different planet, so he does get out sometimes, but it's probably pretty rare. After all, with a planet that's supposedly the ultimate pleasure planet, why would anyone want to leave it? Confirmed to have responding to Roboute getting back up by ''pouting''. Fucking '''weak''' man.

* Magnus the Red - He rarely leaves his private tower, but he theoretically constantly aids in Tzeentch's vast plans to conquer everything and sometimes comes out to beat up [[Space Wolves]]. /tg/ likes to joke that he spends most of the time screaming [[Just As Planned]] every time he manages to accomplish common household tasks like dusting the blinds or pouring hellmilk over his daemon-cereal, just to massage his fragile ego after the monumental fuckups his plans seem to keep running into. He's still very much active, though. Apart from [[Furry|fursecuting the Wolves]], he fought and chased [[Roboute Guilliman]] when he escaped from Kairos' clutches, but was stopped he was banished by a contingent of Custodes and Sisters of Silence, when he managed to corner Big G at Luna.

* Mortarion - Has his own sweet planet, which he made into a home from home. Like most of the others, he rarely leaves his private quarters, in case his presence makes the plot edge forward. Oh, and the last time he left his planet, a [[Kaldor Draigo|certain someone]] graffiti'd his heart. Change, after all, is anathema to a Nurglite. Plus, well... would ''you'' invite someone whose B.O. could devastate an entire world without him lifting a finger to your [[Black Crusade|little party]]? [[Typhus]] canonically despises Mortarion for just sitting in his planet and never doing anything and also for his insufferable sentimentality. He's now up-and-about though, he invaded Ultramar, but was stopped by Guilliman, and the Chaos Gods who decided to get into the action and annex some of Nurgle's territory, forcing him to abandon the Ultramar campaign and go back.

* Lorgar - . Has been meditating since the end of the Horus Heresy, and has literally done diddly squat since then. Infact his most noteworthy action for gods know how long is teaching Abby how to summon daemons for his Black Crusades. He doesn't even lead his legion anymore, and he assigned that role to his Dark Apostles instead. He's basically the biggest NEET amongst the primarchs.

* Perturabo - Mostly stays sulking on his private planet because his sore mood prevents him from getting down to the hard and heavy of fighting. Occasionally he gets off his couch to devastate a Forge World or two.

* Abaddon the Despoiler - Jokes about his incompetence and lack of arms aside, Abaddon didn't get to be the Warmaster of the Black Legion for nothing. If your force runs into his in the Eye, it's probably in your best interest to either submit to the Legion and be subsumed, or run for the hills and pray to your evil gods he's got [[Cadia|something better to do]].

* Fabius Bile - A key player in the Eye, as he produces clone warriors for the traitor legions to boost their ranks and seeks ways to further improve on their genes. Such biological evil pleases Slaanesh immensely, even if Bile himself has no love for Chaos in general, seeing that they no longer have anything to offer him.

==Gathering Storm==
During the events of the Gathering Storm, the Eye of Terror changed dramatically. Here, Abaddon is attempting to besiege and control Cadia to force the Eye to expand, hoping turn it into a giant eldritch laser cannon that would cut a swath through the galaxy and consume Terra itself the process.

The launch of the 13th Black Crusade coincided with [[Belisarius Cawl]] realizing what the [[Cadian Pylons]] actually did, rushing to Cadia to help. [[Trazyn the Infinite]] then rocked up, and helped Cawl try and close it, because he was bored and wanted to participate in some galactic historical event. Their efforts did work and managed to slowly close the Eye of Terror to weaken the traitors (and Saint Celestine and the Legion of the Damned, consequently), but Abby finally had enough of being a meme and decided to flip the table by crashing a [[Blackstone Fortress]] onto Cadia, which destroyed the planet plus the pylons, [[Just as Planned|and caused the intended effect of having the Eye of Terror expand]]......[[Not as Planned|but we can only imagine Abaddon wide-eyed and mouth agape when he saw that the Eye expanded in the wrong direction, before promptly losing his collective shit at this point]].

Rather than cutting a swath straight through Terra, the Eye instead cut the galaxy in half by creating an almost-impassable wall of warp storms that stretched from Cadia to the [[Maelstrom]], which is now called the [[Great Rift]]. There's only two corridors on this rift that can be safely traversed by mortals and they're all heavily contested by the Imperium and Chaos (Don't ask us why nobody bothers to just go *under* the dang thing, seeing as space is three-dimensional and all).

The other side of this region that isn't on Terra's side is called the [[Imperium Secundus|"Dark Imperium"]], named so because they're cut off from the Astronomicon, and by extension the Emperor's Light. As you can imagine, life in what can only be described as being trapped alone in a room full of serial killers is bad, but the Imperium perseveres, while Chaos is having a blast right now.

==See Also==
*[[Chaos]]
*[[Chaos Space Marines]]
*[[Pit of Raukos]]

[[Category:Chaos]] [[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Malal

2018-09-13T23:28:59Z

2001:4930:48:53:C190:7B3B:EF91:C66A: /* /tg/ Fluff */ Lysol works better, since it actually kills bacteria

[[File:Malal-symbol.gif|center]]
{{heresy}}
[[File:Lord_malal_by_morporg-d78ectd.jpg|400px|right|thumb|The greatest trick Malal ever pulled was convincing the Galaxy he didn't exist.]]
<div style="font-size:1.10em;font-weight:bold;font-style:italic;font-family:serif;margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em">404 ERROR! PAGE NOT FOUND! THE PAGE YOU WERE LOOKING FOR WAS EITHER DELETED OR MISSING! - The Script of Malal on Himself'''</div>

{{topquote|... and he that went before now came last, and that which was white and black and all direction was thrown against itself. Grown mightily indignant at the words of the Gods, Malal did turn his heart against them and flee into the chambers of space... And no man looked to Malal then, save those that serve that which they hate, who smile upon their misfortune, and who bear no love save for the damned. At such times as a warrior's heart turns to Malal, all Gods of Chaos grow fearful, and the laughter of the Outcast God fills the tomb of space...|from The Great Book of Despair.}}
{{topquote|There is no greater evil than anarchy.|Sophocles}}

=="Chaos Divided"==
===Malal===
[[File:Malal.jpg|300px|right|thumb|What Malal ''might'' look like...if he actually wants us to believe that he exists in the first place.]]
The character Malal was created in [[The Citadel Journal]] for second edition [[Warhammer Fantasy]] by John Wagner and Alan Grant as the patron of the [[Warriors of Chaos]] character Kaleb Daark, who allied with the forces of good to fight Chaos while pursuing his own goals by confronting Khornates and Skaven using his soul-drinking magic axe. He was sent by Malal to assassinate one of the [[Chaos God of Law]] Arianka to prove himself worthy, a story which continued in three chapters. In 1986 Kaleb and his mount were given stats in Journal and his miniature was advertised, and it along with the fourth chapter were never released for unknown reasons ("creative differences" is all that was ever revealed). Malal was referenced in several other Games Workshop works, with the [[Ogre Kingdoms]] character Skrag the Slaughterer originally being a worshiper of him (later retconned to [[Great Maw]] instead) who was cast out from his tribe for stealing an axe made of "starmetal" (later retconned to cooking his chief's favorite [[Gnoblar]]), escaping to a [[Chaos Dwarf]] hold to force them to forge him armor before slaughtering all of them, followed up by a skirmish scenario called "The Crude, the Mad and the Rusty" where the surviving Chaos Dwarf plus two Goblin Fanatics and a golem fight against him. The first edition of [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]] states he is a rogue Chaos God who wants to destroy the Four, a Champion of Malal is killed by the protagonist in a short story found in the [[Ignorant Armies]] short story novels, and the [[Chaos Marauders]] cardgame had a card which depicted [[Beastmen]] preparing to fight other Chaos beings.

All in all, Malal was designed as an anti<s>hero</s> villain side to Chaos who is beneficial to the side of Order but is too Chaotic Evil for any being to trust, and actively drains both friend and enemy of energy to feed himself. Serving him is advancing oblivion, fighting him is to be annihilated. Any infighting on the part of Chaos resulted in Malal growing in power, essentially introducing the concept of total war to the Warp entities. Only by cooperating and shifting their attention to the mortal realm could the other Chaos Gods escape his influence, where they found his minions waiting for them.

During the year 1987 Wagner and Grant experienced a falling out over several comics they were producing at the time including Judge Dredd and work for DC Comics as well as several works for smaller publishers. This was followed by a sudden scramble for rights earned by them during their time creating for different companies and resulted in them suing Games Workshop for total ownership of Kaleb and Malal. Games Workshop had hired them for freelance work rather than as actual employees meaning Wagner & Grant technically owned the characters they created. If Games Workshop ever used Malal again, they would either have to pay a royalty fee or enter into a lawsuit over the ownership of the character, which they surprisingly never did. Malal was only used once more, in the [[The Dying of the Light]] campaign where a Chaos sorcerer of [[Tzeentch]] named Heinrich Bors switches to Malal in order to have control over his own fate again.
[[File:Malal and Kaleb.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Malal's (only) "canon" appearance and I have to say, for something that ''technically'' doesn't exist he looks pretty good.]]
Although technically owning Malal and Kaleb, neither author has done anything with the characters, as Wagner continues to mostly write Judge Dredd while Grant now works on zombie-related stories.

Zuvassin the Undoer and Necoho the Doubter were created by Games Workshop to replace Malal in the "The Enemy Within" adventure for Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay during the "Something Rotten In Kislev" campaign.

Zuvassin and Necoho together represent the same thing that Malal did, the concept of Chaos destroying itself and Khorne, Tzeentch, Slaanesh, and Nurgle plus the Chaos Gods of Order each falling prey to the primordial nothingness they emerged from in the same way the mortals do into them.
[[File:Kaleb_Daark_CJ86.jpg|thumb|right|300px| Kaleb Daark in all his "glory." Yes, he's a brooding, basically albinistic bad-guy-who-fights-evil in the name of Chaos using a demonic sword and therefore just Elric.]]
Zuvassin and Necoho were only given a second mention, listed as Chaos Gods in the Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay supplement "Tome Of Salvation".

===Zuvassin===
Zuvassin is a rogue Chaos God who undoes the plans of any being, Chaos or not, including Tzeentch. He accepts all followers for all reasons and doesn't issue instructions since his followers should technically be working to subvert them, so that anything Zuvassin gets involved in becomes a complete mess where nothing can be predicted and everything goes wrong for everyone to varying degrees making him the only Chaos God who embodies the concept of "Chaos".
Any time you could make a list of possible outcomes for any given thing then draw in Zuvassin, the [[Not as Planned|"INCONCEIVABLE"]] result will occur; a coin will fall through a portal into another dimension and land on all surfaces at once, a six-sided dice will crack in half while being rolled and reveal a 7 and 8 inside results, both factions in a battle will actually somehow end the day with more soldiers than they began with.

===Necoho===
Necoho is the god of contradictions and paradoxes, and represents the "Chicken or the Egg" question where the supernatural exists and doesn't. He fights against the concept of belief and faith and as a result is the enemy of all spiritual creatures and faithful worshipers. He only ever actually appears as a simple mortal being and counts everyone and nobody to be his followers.
Necoho will one day bring about the end of the Chaos Gods when nothing left will worship them and they will cease to be.

===Legacy of Malal===
Both players and Eavy Metal painters alike continued to use Malal even if he had gone without a mention, and was still considered to be canon. The early days of the Warhammer forums had the discovery of Malal as something of a rite of passage for Chaos players as well. Malal paintjobs continued to show up in many [[Golden Demon]] competitions and Eavy Metal showcases alike.

===[[Be'lakor]]===
With the introduction of [[Mordheim]], a Cult of Chaos faction emerged that revolved around a character called the "Shadowlord", a being who was reputed to be a Chaos God of some kind and who had caused the ruin of the city. Many players believed him to be the return of Malal, and many early paintjobs for the Cult were in Malal's white and black skull motif. The story was later revealed to actually be a plot by Be'lakor, a mere [[Daemon Prince]] of [[Chaos Undivided]] who had wanted to escape the control of the Four and had made the ruined city his domain before realizing he had only traded one cage for a much smaller one, and slunk back to the laughter of the Four with his tail between his legs and a revisionist version of the story already in his head. In many ways Be'lakor was intended to replace Malal as the non-Four alternative to Chaos, although Games Workshop writers by this point had [[Skub|made Chaos the Mary Sue faction for so long that the concept of anything being a danger to them was laughable]]. Thus the idea of the "Chaos outsider" became just a whiny petulant part of Chaos that had managed to wreak great destruction in the mortal world while attempting, and failing, to give a black eye to his masters.

===Malice===
Malice was created for 3rd edition [[Warhammer 40000]] in the [[Chaos Space Marine]] Codex. A Chaos Space Marine Chapter in Malal's colors was shown under the name "[[Sons of Malice]]", with an axe identical to Kaleb Daark's, described as being 'created to kill other beings of Chaos.' They later got a short story in [[White Dwarf]] where a Sister of Battle discovers they were a loyalist Chapter who had apparently fallen to Chaos while still fighting for the Imperium, exalting in cannibalism & blood rituals and praising 'Malice' as the god of anarchy and fear. They then proceed to cannibalize the Sister and her group, and were exiled from the Imperium for their heresy, even as they continued fighting against the other forces of Chaos. But once again, Malice was never mentioned again, although his color scheme was repeated in subsequent works.

===Canon/Archaon===
Malal/Zuvassin/Necoho/Malice have existed in a sort of limbo in canon for quite a long time. Technically they were never retconned, and "non-canon by exclusion" is a weak accusation as that would mean every character and every event must be mentioned every edition for them to remain canon. Many statements have been given saying the Chaos Gods only exist in the Four, although this was said both before and after each "Chaos God of Piss Off" was written meaning the statement has always been a false one anyway (this isn't even going into the huge clusterfuck that [[Age of Sigmar]] has made in trying to figure out who actually matters in Chaos, not counting [[Khorne|the one who gets all the new models]]).
Some people have taken on the perspective that the "Chaos God of Go Fuck Yourself" is a continually shifting being, more in flux than Tzeentch and that each incarnation is comparable to [[Doctor Who]] incarnations. In this interpretation, Malal is Zuvassin is Necoho is Malice, and there's more to come still (of course [[Khorne|Peter Capaldi]] is the best one.)

[[End Times]] and [[Age of Sigmar]] for [[Warhammer Fantasy]] both suggest that the concept of a fifth Chaos God is over with as in the leadup to the event Be'lakor snarked that the Chaos Gods of Law never existed and that only the Four exist, with everything belonging to them in the end. But his truthfulness is in doubt partially because even though he is the character who "never lies", this is only stated once in the 40k universe and that the reason he never lies is "because its boring", so as a result he's never been proven to really be a reliable narrator. It is also dubious because of the proven disconnect between [[Black Library]] and the actual army books, evidenced by massive contradictions during the event and the casual attitude of the writers, means that anything in said books must be taken with a huge grain of salt.
Regardless, during the event when every character (that Games Workshop remembered existed) played a part, no fifth Chaos God other than [[Horned Rat]] did anything which means he and his other selves may truly be non-canon.

In Age of Sigmar, [[Archaon]] is promoted to a Chaos God (remember that Fantasy and 40k share the same Warp which exists outside of time, so Archaon is now a Chaos God by technicality in 40k as well) representing the combined strength of the other Chaos Gods as the embodiment of [[Chaos Undivided]] (with the exception of Slaanesh's replacement in the Great Game, Horned Rat, whom he rejects) and his Black Library novel life goal is to destroy all gods and kings to let men control their own destiny and exalt in their own achievements in a spectacularly Ayn Rand way. Due to his rejection of the pretender [[Keeper of Secrets]] trying to take Slaanesh's position, Archaon himself wound up being the target of worship by former Slaaneshi who in turn are empowered by him as if Slaanesh was still around (which is not gameplay/story segregation as they still have their powers in the narrative as well) meaning that he's 1/4 of the way to his goal.
Although the actual army books state he is loyal to Chaos, the Black Library sources have his goals falling very much in line with the ideals of Malal, and in an accidental bit of extra-meta story extrapolation his contradiction in goal even fits into Necoho's sphere. Beyond that, Be'lakor (who styles himself as Archaon's creator and father) manipulated Archaon's entire early life, from a Warrior of Chaos raping his Empire mother and him becoming a devout priest of [[Sigmar]], to him losing his faith and becoming a being of pure evil who rejects both Sigmar's light and Be'lakor's blackness. This blend of light and dark fits quite well into Malal's scheme.

So it may be possible that Archaon is the latest incarnation of the Malal concept, albeit as a German rapeviking this time rather than a giant boar...thing or a fat old <strike>fedora</strike>trilby-tipper.

Archaon's endgame in Age is to somehow remove the new pantheon of Order (which includes Death and Destruction by technicality) from their Realms, which is very difficult because the "near infinite" planets that are the Realms are literally made of the old Winds of Magic (making them very chaotic and only really willing to obey the will of beings of a similar nature) with the very souls of those new gods at the cores. As a result Archaon is facing an uphill battle of trying to eliminate their armies (and all civilians, because this is Lord Edgemaster after all) then trap them and figure out a way to remove them without destroying the Realm itself all while battling against the rest of Chaos which periodically tries to backstab him despite them being his only supporters. If he achieves his goal, he will rule over all of reality (including whatever the fuck the Warp can fairly be called) as the sole being of any concept of power.

===Malign===
[[Tony Ackland]] was one of the artists employed by early Games Workshop to create the illustrations for their supplements and books, and they tasked him to design the Daemons that would be the models for Malal's eventual inclusion into Warhammer Fantasy as an army. The Wagner/Grant debacle left Malal in limbo with Games Workshop having never produced a model, and as a result Ackland was technically the owner of the designs he created since, just like Wagner and Grant, he was only a freelancer who owned what he made.

Not knowing about the boar appearance decided on in the comics nor the white/black color scheme, Ackland's idea for Malal combined insects with a general Chaos mutant themes (as he was the artist to quite a bit of the original Chaos Mutant and [[Chaos Spawn]] images) to produce extremely surrealist combinations of man and beast in a lean and segmented nature, featuring skeletal motifs coincidentally.

He eventually released his designs to the public (seen below in the Gallery section), then created new versions which he assigned to an unknown being called "Malign" in order to have them produced by third-party companies for sale.

According to Ackland, his version of Malal was going to be very similar to Khorne in that the two were extremely violent and focused mainly on sending warriors into combat rather than any politicking. But his version of Malal was much more elite and fanatical than Khorne, describing Khorne as the Wehrmacht (German army) and Malal as the Nazi SS. Yes you read that right, Malal's troops would basically be [[Commissar|BLAMMMING]] [[Bloodletters]] for cowardice or harboring Elves.

===Malice (Pantheon Of Chaos)===
Ackland has proceeded to partner with various people including sculptor Diego Serrate Pinilla to create a new model range and eventual wargame, [[Pantheon Of Chaos]], which brings not only all of the Malal Daemons into production, but also all of Ackland's Warhammer Fantasy artwork he has ownership of.
Malal is known as Malice (because that's a public domain name), and is exactly as originally imagined.

So players who for years have wanted their very own Malal army now can have exactly that.

===Malal and the [[Tyranids|Tyranids]]===

When [[Rogue Trader]] was being devised and the creatures that would later form the [[Tyranid]] Hive Fleets with it, Malal was originally going to have (as had been conceived for WHFB) armies of insectoid and beast-like chimeras that would consume everything in their path, including themselves. This bought Malal's very special form of true-chaos to each game system as well as possibly the most horrific and alien of all 40K fauna.

After the planned narrative for the other four Chaos Gods to conspire to remove Malal from the warp in M36, all of them fearful that Malal was too powerful in the Great Game, Malal was to in fact be "killed" by being booted from the warp and into the material realm.

When Malal appeared in the material realm he moved into the void between galaxies, hidden from view to everyone, from the populations of the infinite galaxies of the universe that now surrounded him to the other Chaos gods themselves who were busy enjoying their assumed victory and continuing the great game. From this dark and empty space Malal devised a plan; he would create a new form of life, one that was capable of consuming all life in the material realm whilst feeding his own power. This life would then consume itself returning it's life-energy to the renegade god. In turn the Hive Fleets were born and Malal braved a sly smile.

Malal sent the fleets across the universe, entering galaxies and consuming all life and matter within; each galaxy consumed giving even more strength to the lost god hidden in the void.

Just before the 41st Millenium (Though the exact date varies throughout RT lore), Malal sent the Hive fleets into the Milky Way; slamming into the Eastern Fringe of the Galaxy. Since this initial conflict two other major hive fleets have also attacked and as the clock races rapidly towards the 42nd Millenium the galaxy finds itself assaulted from all sides by Malal's creatures.

If the Hive fleets succeed Malal will be boosted in his objective of re-ascending to the Immaterium as the most powerful god of the warp. Whether the renegade god will succeed is left open, but as the Hive Fleets continue to spread amongst the galaxies and worlds that make up the 40K universe, things do not look good for anyone, including the other Chaos Gods.

Sadly as Malal has gone from lore due to legal issues, so have the plans for his Tyranid organisms. They are now the swarm of alien locusts we all know and love.

==/tg/ Fluff==
[[File:Painted Malice Guardian of Contradictions.jpg|400px|left|thumb|We have a painted model of a <s>Malal</s> <s>Malign</s> Malice Greater Daemon! Praise the true atheist god!]]
Followers of Malal are kind of like [[Chaos]] Agnostics. They doubt that anything exists, including the [[Emperor]], Chaos itself, and you. ''Especially '''you'''''. The Chaos Space Marines chapter known as the "Sons of Malice", with their alternating black/white colour scheme are as likely to kill Chaos Forces as anyone else on the field, except for each other.

Malal, when he was actually canon, was the Chaos God of Fear, Darkness, Anarchy, and batshit loony self-destructive urges; Chaos battling Chaos. This also made him the God of paradoxes, Radical Inquisitors and the like trying to turn Chaos against itself, and the outcast god since he was trying to buttfuck every other Chaos God and their followers. The thing about Malal was that even though he was one of the biggest personifications of Chaos there could be, he constantly tried to destroy Chaos and if he were ever successful in ending Chaos he could be destroyed as well. Not that this pants-on head crazy a-hole cared, as suicidal tendencies and teamkilling just became part of his portfolio instead. When Malal gets involved, the [[Great Game]] turns from [[Risk]] to [[Call of Cthulhu]] with [[Old Man Henderson]] as the head cultist.

Since Malal was supposed to be the antitheses of Chaos he had only a few champions, all of whom were supposed to be [[Cheese|STUPIDLY powerful]] and would go around bitch-slapping other Chaos champions with their anti-daemon daemon-axes of doom while wearing warp-resistant warp armor. The servants of Malal fight in utter silence, but that makes them way more badass than the rest of chaos. So yeah. They work with the forces of Order, but are fairly likely to engage in teamkilling to the degree that [[Orks]] are shocked by their sudden but inevitable betrayals.
Because of this followers of Malal have to already be balls to the wall nuts and have superhuman will. Malal's trademarks were black and white bisecting armor and a horned skull equally bisected black and white. His sacred number was 11. His signature weapon was the Dreadaxe which was a daemon weapon made out of a [[derp|Daemon that hates Daemons]], and it looked like a pterodactyl head on a stick. You can still find examples of this weapon in the CSM 3.5 dex and in Your [[Matt Ward|Spiritual Liege]]'s wonderful fluff assassin of a Codex: [[Grey Knights]].

Malal has a fortress in the Chaos Wastes in Warhammer Fantasy where he captures and [[trolls]] Greater Daemons by trapping them for all eternity unable to do whatever it is that they embody. This one [[Keeper of Secrets]] he has, for example, is caught in a field that nullifies all sensation so it can't indulge in cocaine fueled sex parties with [[Doomrider]], thus eternally pissing off said daemon forever in the only way that works. He also put a [[Great Unclean One]] in a vat of Lysol; blinded and binded a [[Lord of Change]] and put him in a stasis-field; and locked a [[Bloodthirster]] in an indestructible zen garden.

Unlike his brother gods he is capable of entering the materium/Warhammer World through demonic possession if his followers had enough sacrifices, but since his followers rarely manage to not kill each other long enough to make headway towards any particular goal it mostly falls to his Champions to get shit done.

In Age of Sigmar, Malal actually controls the space between the Realms and decides when the Realmgates will function and when they will not, plucking those he desires from the space between spaces and doing with them as he wills. Since Chaos no longer fights itself he has weakened to a degree, and must now rely on his plan to turn Archaon to his will and take the massive powers the Four invested in him which will mark the beginning of the end of Chaos.

(''In 40k, Malal is actually THE ELEVENTH PRIMARCH!! Think about it: Malal's sacred number is 11, the Renegade warband [[Sons of Malice]] worship the god Malal, and the Sons of Malice also center their rituals and trophies around the number XI. And what is the number of one of the missing legions? ELEVEN. And their warband contain a large amount of unknown (Read: ANCIENT) suits of Power Armour that predate even the [[Great Crusade]].
This could mean that The [[Sons of Malice]] are actually serious possibilities as candidates of the XI Legion! '''*Mind Blown*''''')

At one point in the 36th Millennium (though of course time is a nebulous concept in the warp), the other four gods got really sick of Malal's constant interference in their plans. While Malal was at the time the strongest individual god, the other four knew that he couldn't deal with them all at once. [[Elder Scrolls|So Tzeentch gathered the other gods and]] [[Just As Planned|formulated a plan]] [[Elder Scrolls|to deal with Malal once and for all.]] So one day Nurgle knocked on Malal's door and asked Malal to step outside, at this point Tzeentch signaled the others to attack and the other Chaos Gods jumped out from behind their cover and beat Malal to death. It required about a century of constant beating, but eventually Malal died. Upon his death the other Four Chaos gods celebrated for one thousand years now that the cheese lord was out of the way.
Sadly Malal's bastard offspring Malice and Zuvassin managed to slip away.
'''However, it might be possible that Malal/Malice may just be an Alias for the Emperor, working incognito, looking into ways he can ultimately end the four-fold scourge of the Warp. It might be possible he would use "Malal/Malice", using the powers of the Dark Gods against them. That includes using the Sons of Malice(Grey Knights?). Just as soon as Kaldor stops sniffin' Warp Dust.'''
A final theory is that he's become a sneaky git and painted himself [[Ork Kommando|purple]] to wait out until the time is right to hit the big four just hard enough to finish them (considering the current state of Daemons on the tabletop, that might not be too far off), and in the meantime manipulates Orks into fighting each other by pretending to be Gork, then Mork (or Mork then Gork?) to draw them into arguments while causing the Imperium to weaken itself by BLAMMING everyone capable of uplifting the condition of man. He probably got the idea sometime after he left a giant sword for Farsight to eventually find, but before he altered Macha's biochemistry to amp up her hormone output.
In fact, the truth is much more terrifying. Malal in fact managed to travel back through time to the present, where he is now trying to manifest. This is the source of the Zalgo legends across the internet.

In Warhammer Fantasy he still exists, and is secretly sponsoring [[Nagash|Nagash's]] recent [[The End Times|rise to power]]. He hasn't been seen or mentioned because he's been crashing on the [[Horned Rat|Horned Rat's]] couch after burning his own house down.

===Getting Malal on the Table===
[[File:Warhammer-40000-фэндомы-art-красивые-картинки-681896.jpg|300px|right|thumb|The Sons of Malice gives thumbs up on [[/tg/ Gets Shit Done|/tg/ getting shit done!]]]]
As Games Workshop have proven themselves to be a bunch of IP abusing faggots, it once again falls to /tg/ [[/tg/ gets shit done|to get anything done.]]
====Humans====
To field rapevikings of Malal in Warhammer Fantasy, run Warriors of Chaos models on Skaven bases. Nothing like blowing yourself AND the enemy up to say "It doesn't matter".
Ironically (or appropriately depending on how you look at it) one of the best ways to represent 40k Malal dedicated Chaos Marines would be to use the Grey Knights codex. Think about it; elite marine units with sick powers and a plethora of daemon killing hardware, small army sizes, and more. Take an Unbound Dreadknight spam list and use Chaos bitz for a nasty Chaos smashing elite warband of Malal followers and lolstomp your opponents into the ground. Alternatively you can use C:CSM if you aren't a cheesed-out 12 year old or Daemonhunters vet.

====Daemons of Malal====
Have you ever lamented how you always wanted to put together a Malal themed army, but you didn't, because it wouldn't be worth it without the proper daemons? Well, now you no longer have a fucking excuse. Grown mightily indignant at Malal's lack of presence on the tabletop, several anons conspired together to bring you this. [http://www.cpmodelsminiatures.co.uk/CP%20Models%2028mm%20Night%20Terrors%20Demons.htm We even found models for it]; they're at the bottom, listed as Hook Horrors. Play-testing would be very much appreciated.

Alternatively, modification to existing Daemon models using their original stats is fine too (a popular idea for example is a gleeful white and black Daemon Prince tearing itself in half along the color separation).

====Malal Homebrew====
Due to the fact that there is little concrete information about Malal content, especially in 40k where he is essentially non-existent, there are a number of ways to interpret the lore into a whole. Here is the link to the fan-created rule set: [[Malal Daemonkin]]

====Forces of Malal====
Here is some fanfluff of Malal/Malice due to how little proper fluff there is. Information is subject to change of course: [[Forces of Malal]]

===Dirges of Malal===
Take the rot, to make it flesh. 
Take the skull, the soul to rest. 
Take their mind and give them peace. 
Take their will. Sensations cease. 
--------------------
"We shall deny Nurgle their flesh to fester and rot" 
"We shall deny Khorne their blood and skulls" 
"We shall deny Tzeentch their destinies and fates" 
"We shall deny Slaanesh their pleasure and pain" 
"Death to the Dark Gods" 
"For the Renegade God" 
"Let the galaxy burn!" 
--------------------
To the Skin, Ice 
To the Rot, Fire 
To the Skull, Steel 
To the Mind, Night 
--------------------
"We are the flames that scorch the garden of rot." 
"We are the waves that erode the mountain of skulls." 
"We are the quakes that shatter the labyrinth of lies." 
"We are the storms that rend the palace of perfection." 
"We are Malice." 

===Followers of Malal===
The [[Sons of Malice]]

Kaleb Daark

<s>The Alpha Legion and their two primarchs</s> {{BLAM|No such legion nor primarchs exist!}}

Scottish Koreans

Jumbo shrimp

Military intelligence

The two missing primarchs

Tau assault units([[Farsight]])

The living dead

<s>You</s>

<s>Me

Us and them</s>

Anarchist dictators

Hypocrites

Dead [[Sly Marbo]]

Atheist preachers

Your girlfriend and the guy you shouldn't worry about

You if you actually had a girlfriend

Full semi-automatic gun owners

[[Lofn|Domesticated Tyranids]]

Tall midgets

Black albinos

Grey Knights

Billy Mays

Honest politicians

Traps

Gabe Newell

C.S.Gotohell

[[Chris-chan|Chris-chan's]] long-lost perfect, popular brother

Josef Fritzl

Eldar units that aren't utterly overpowered

Screaming Mimes

Uncle Ruckus

Ork snipers

Assurances that don't leave Lord Bale cold

Vladimir Putin's estranged twin brother that isn't a complete <strike> badass </strike> <s> bigoted imperialist asshole </s> [[God-Emperor of Mankind|THE YUGEST, INCREDIBLE, MOST AWE INSPIRING BEING IN EXISTENCE]]

Athiest Word Bearers

Ronald McDonald

Ultramarines that deserve to live

Vegemonster

[[Sorcerers of Khorne|Khornate Sorcerers]]

Tzeentch Berserkers

Nurglite Doctors/medics

Bill Gates

Blinker fluid salesmen

[[Genestealer Cult|Tyranid allies]] (7th edition anyone)

Ork mathematicians (a.k.a. Mathboyz)

Matt ward Fans (Newfags)

Chaos centurions and knights (Forge world made them.)

Pacifist Marines

Black Templar Librarians

Celibate and Sober Slaanesh Daemon (The 5th deamonette creation)

Cheap GW models

Loyalist Dark Angels

Egalitarian Eldar

Sorcerers that can light water on fire

Asexual and Altruistic Dark Eldar

Industrial Exodites

Led Zeppelin

Germophobic Plaguebearers

Ahzek Ahriman {{BLAM|DOUBLEHERESY!}}{{BLAM}}

Two-Face

Cool people wearing crocs

Mikhail Bakunin

People who finish gobstoppers/jawbreakers

Justin Bieber's popular twin brother

The Deceiver

Necrons in flesh bodies

Pacifist army ants

Abstinent Daemonettes

Commissars that don't {{BLAM}} their own troops.

Virgin Bards

Cuddly Night Lords

Loving, compassionate Iron Warriors

[[DOOM: Repercussions of Evil|People who don't worship Malal]]

[[Everyone Is John|John]]

DC Comics editorial and writer staff

Kid friendly [[Lovecraft|Lovecraftian]] authors

Safe for work pornography photographers

Carnivorous gorillas

Your mom

Gay Pirates

Manly douches

Half-necron organisms

Eskimo cactus farmers

Vegan sharks

Jewish Nazis

Malal

Jesus

Matt Ward (himself)

Remleiz (40k theories)

Capitalist Tau

Black KKK members

Chinese factory workers

Old-fags

Handicapped Dreadnoughts

George Soros...is this [[Tzeentch]]'s thing?

[[Commander Puretide]] of the Tau, [[Grimdark|as his brain was being chewed out by computer chips to preserve his]] [[tactical genius]]

/m/ after 2013

UNDERCROFT MALICE.

==Dungeons The Dragoning==

For those of you who want to roleplay with Malal, [[Dungeons: the Dragoning 40,000 7th Edition]] has Malal as a Chaos God, because of course it does. In DtD, he's the Chaos God of Teamkilling Fucktards; nobody gets along with him or his followers.

==Gallery==
{{Promotions}}
<gallery>
Image:Lesser_Daemon_of_Malal.jpg|One of Malal's canon Daemon designs from Tony Ackland.This would either be a Lesser or Greater Daemon.
Image:Malal Daemon Sale.jpg|This model was actually produced by a third party company called [[C-P Models]] and is available for sale [https://cpmodels.co.uk/product/ntd13-hook-horror-demon/ here.]
Image:Greater_Daemon_of_Malal.jpg|Another Ackland Malal Daemon. This would have either been a Lesser or Greater Daemon.
Image:Beast_of_Malal.jpg|Another Ackland Malal Daemon. Ackland said this would have been one of Malal's monsters.
Image:Steed_of_Malal.jpg|Another Ackland Malal Daemon. Identified as what would have been a mount.
Image:Son of malice.png|A Son of Malice.
Image:Malal Hipster Cultistchan.jpg|Cultist offending Malal by not wearing his colours nor the number 11. Frequently posted Meme every-time someone mentions the true god of Chaos.
Image:Malal Warriors.jpg|Prototypes for mortal worshipers of Malal, created in cooperation with Ackland which will be eventually available [http://easternfront-studios.net/ here.]
Image:Malal Lesser New.jpg|Ackland's newer rendition, which he called a "Lesser Daemon of Malign".
Image:Malal Greater New.jpg|Ackland's "Greater Daemon of Malign".
Image:Malal Chaos Steed 1.jpg|Ackland's "Steed of Malign".
Image:Malal Chaos Steed 2.jpg|Ackland's second version of a "Steed of Malign".
Image:Kaleb Daark Battle.gif|Kaleb Daark single-handedly slaughters an entire Khornate warband on the hour before its otherwise assured victory over Praag.
Image:Malalette.png|Because /tg/.
Image:Malal_Daemonette.png|Also because /tg/.
Image:Malal_Daemonette_NSFW.png|Because Rule 34. Also /tg/.
Image:MalalPossessed.jpg|Malal Possessed
Image:MalalHerald.jpg|Herald of Malal
Image:Doomrider.png|[[Doomrider|Not that Doomrider]].Demonic cavalry
</gallery>

==See also==

*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZI0ZX1DrRw| His greatest champion, even if the champion himself didn't know it...]

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[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]]