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Examples of Play

2020-09-21T11:28:32Z

2001:67C:2660:425:23:0:0:170:

{{Best|month = October 2008}}
Y'know, every time I read the core book for an [[RPG]], they always have an example of play. Usually goes like this.

<BLOCKQUOTE>
"Here is an example of play that doesn't get into the rules (we'll leave that for a later chapter) but rather demonstrates roleplaying. The DM is Chris, John is playing Urthden, a human fighter, Giles is a dwarven barbarian, Gwen is an elven ranger, and Billy is playing a human wizard! They've just come to the entrance of Malik Hur, a terrible tomb of a lich that was buried eons ago! 
 
'''Chris:''' The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility. 
'''Billy:''' Blast! How shalt we get through this door? King Darod and his Kingdom are depending upon us to retrieve the cure! 
'''Gwen:''' Don't worry, I have an idea! Remember earlier when we were interrogating that skeleton? He mentioned that the water moves when the stone strikes it . . . 
'''John:''' And that stones move when water touches them! Brilliant! Alright, I'll go and grab some water from that creek that Chris mentioned earlier—" 
</BLOCKQUOTE>

And on and on in perfect harmony. Who has ever REALLY played a game like that? [[Glossary#ITT|ITT]] we write more realistic game session transcripts.

==Example 1==

'''DM:''' You're at the crypt. There's a door. 
'''John:''' I open the door. 
'''DM:''' Can't – there's no handles or anything. 
'''Billy:''' I fucking break it down, then, I thought it was implied if the door doesn't open the first time we BREAK IT DOWN. 
'''Giles:''' Hey, hey can I lockpick the door? 
'''DM:''' We— 
'''John:''' No, you're a goddamn barbarian *snort* – that, that's like me rolling to cast Magic Missile. 
'''DM:''' Hey! HEY! Pay attention. Anyway, the door's made of stone. 
'''Billy:''' I can break stone. 
'''DM:''' What? 
'''Billy:''' I can fucking do it, I have a magic +1 hammer, it doesn't break. 
'''DM:''' So you're going to spend all day hitting a chunk of stone with your hammer. 
'''John:''' Yeah, and by my measurements, if my calculations are correct, and assuming this door is, like, two feet thick, it'll take thirty-two hours to bust down, we can do this. 
'''Giles:''' Hey, hey, hey, I have an axe, I can, I can help! 
'''Billy:''' No, no you friggin' can't, it's a plain axe and you made a shitty barbarian so, like, you'd make it worse. 
'''DM:''' Look, maybe GWEN might remember that interrogation— Wait, where's Gwen? 
'''Billy:''' She showed up one game and hasn't come back. You've been playing her character, dingus. 

==Example 2==

'''DM:''' Alright, the man with the rifle looks at you angrily. 
'''Zack:''' Probably Jewish. 
'''DM:''' He says, "What the hell are you doing on my farm?" 
'''Daniel:''' How much HP do you think he has? 
'''DM:''' You can't ask that. 
'''Zack:''' Hey guys, have a look at this thing I got on my mobile phone. 
'''Tom:''' Hey, that's awesome. Gimme that. 
'''Daniel:''' I covertly draw my pistol and shoot him in the head. 
'''DM:''' Why? 
'''Daniel:''' He's got money and he's in my way. 
'''DM:''' That's stupid. 
'''Tom:''' I agree. Daniel, you're a fag. 
'''DM:''' ... you hit him, he dies. 
'''Zack:''' Ha, the Jewish guy died. 
'''Daniel:''' I loot his body. 
'''DM:''' A young boy runs out of the house and sees you searching the corpse on the ground. He looks at you in horror. 
'''Daniel:''' I shoot him too. 
'''DM:''' No, you can't do that. It's against your alignment. 
'''Daniel:''' Chaotic Neutral. 
'''DM:''' That's not what CN means. 
'''Daniel:''' My character acts on an impulse. He doesn't realise what he's doing until it's done. 
'''Tom:''' So, I heard Daniel was a fag. 
'''Daniel:''' What? Well, you're fat. 
'''Tom:''' Oh, you did not just say that. Right, I shoot Daniel. Roll for initiative. 
'''Daniel:''' It's on, fatass. 
'''DM:''' Goddamn it, both of you shut up. You can't fight unless your characters have some reason to. 
'''Daniel:''' Well fine, I just shoot the kid, then. 
'''DM:''' There are other people who heard the shot, too. They'll see you. 
'''Daniel:''' Well, I point at Tom and say he did it. 
'''Tom:''' Oh, you bitch. That's a motivation. I shoot Daniel in the head. 
'''DM:''' You don't actually say that, do you, Daniel? 
'''Tom:''' I got a 19. That's a hit. Damage . . . 19. 
'''Daniel:''' What the fuck? I'm on low HP. 
'''Tom:''' Ooops. Oh well, I loot your body. 
'''Zack:''' Wait, what happened? I was just doing stuff on my mobile. 

==Example 3==

'''DM:''' The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility. There's an inscription written in Druidic. 
'''Gwen:''' Oh! I got this! 
'''John:''' *sigh* 
'''Billy:''' *sigh* 
'''DM:''' It says you must discard all clothes and be pure upon entering this temple. 
'''Gwen:''' Oh okay, well yeah, my elf disrobes. 
'''DM:''' An incubus appears. 
'''Billy:''' I try to talk to him. 
'''DM:''' He ignores you and talks to Gwen's naked elf. 
'''Billy:''' *sigh* 
'''John:''' *sigh* 

==Example 4==

'''DM:''' The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility. 
'''Billy:''' Is the door Lawful or Chaotic? 
'''DM:''' There's an inscr . . . what? 
'''Billy:''' Yeah. I have "Chaotic Ray of Disruption", so if it's a Lawful door, I can shatter it to pieces. 
'''DM:''' Doors don't have alignments. They're objects. 
'''Billy:''' Says who? There's Chaotic and Lawful Planes, and they have objects too! 
'''DM:''' Yes, but— 
'''Giles:''' Yeah, look at this picture of the Plane of Chaos, those rocks floating in a random manner look pretty Chaotic to me . . . 
'''John:''' There's definitely no doors there, either. 
'''Billy:''' That settles it, then! I cast "Chaotic Ray of Disruption" on the fucking thing. 
'''DM:''' OK. Nothing happens. 
'''Billy:''' What the fuck, man? 
'''DM:''' The door is Neutral. 
'''John:''' Crap. 
'''Giles:''' Bullshit. 
'''Billy:''' Wait . . . is it a particularly Evil door? 
'''Gwen:''' Well, those adornments definitely look like horns to me, so . . . 
==Example 5==

'''DM:''' The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility. 
'''Billy:''' Blast! How shalt we get through this door? King Darod and his Kingdom are depending upon us to retrieve the cure! 
'''Gwen:''' Don't worry, I have an idea! Remember earlier when we were interrogating that skeleton? He mentioned that the stone moves when the water strikes it . . . 
'''Billy:''' I pee on it. 
'''John:''' I also pee on it. 
'''Gwen:''' Wait, how does a skeleton talk anyway? 
'''DM:''' The door opens. And I hate you. I hate all of you with the very fiber of my being. 

==Example 6==

'''DM:''' Okay, let's see those character sheets. Billy, you have a high elf half-celestial barbarian and you rolled three 18s . . . John, you can't be a stonechild rogue, this is level 1 and you're not allowed anything from that book. Gwen, you're playing a pixie . . . Cool, so John, just go with half-orc rogue and Billy, if you don't mind dropping the template, we can roll with a barbarian elf. Gwen, you're fine, as always. 
'''Billy & John:''' *begin fight with DM*

'''(1 hour later)'''

'''DM:''' You enter a tavern. 
'''Billy:''' I talk to the bartender. 
'''DM:''' He says, "What'll you have?" 
'''Billy:''' Pleasurable company for the night and grog. 
'''John:''' Who else is in the bar? 
'''DM:''' It's packed, about 12 people, mostly human. 
'''John:''' I talk to each one. Hello! 
'''DM:''' Arg. 

==Example 7==

'''Chris:''' The Crypt awa— 
'''Billy:''' Crypt? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, the quest for the king. 
'''John:''' No, we're not doing that quest. 
'''Chris:''' . . . But . . . You said you were. 
'''Gwen:''' Naw, I've already seduced the prince into a marriage . . . 
'''Billy:''' And really, his country's starving and his army's shitty so— 
'''John:''' We're going to KILL the king. 
'''Chris:''' What? 

'''(Hours of arguing, skullduggery, complaints, and moral decay later)'''

'''Chris:''' The King, his sword clattering to the ground from nerveless fingers, collapses on the throne, looks up and words dribble from blood-drenched lips: "You, you who were to be our last h-hope, you have damned us and yourselves if yo—" 
'''Billy:''' Gay. 
'''John:''' I hit the guy with two fireballs, why's he still talking? 
'''Gwen:''' CAN WE GO BACK TO ME IN THE TREASURY? 

'''(Next week)'''

'''Billy:''' Chris, when's the next game? 
'''Chris:''' I have classes. Weekend classes. 

==Example 8==

'''Chris:''' The crypt— 
'''Billy:''' WHERE'S MAH BUNNEH I LIKE MAH BUNNEH 
'''Gwen:''' I ATE YOUR BUNNEH 
'''John:''' Lawl 
'''Billy:''' WTF I ATTACK YOO 
'''DM:''' Shut up guys! God. Anyway, as you gaze at the stone door, your eyes tracing the visages of the foxmen, in the ritual dance of the rising star, your companion Fenix Ninetails softly whispers, "My destiny—" 
'''Giles:''' I AM GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

==Example 9==

'''Chris the DM:''' The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility. 
'''Billy the Roleplayer:''' Blast! How shalt we get through this door? King Darod and his Kingdom are depending upon us to retrieve the cure! 
'''Gwen:''' lol a quest for viagra 
'''John:''' lol 
'''Giles:''' lol 
'''Billy the Roleplayer:''' *sigh* 
'''Chris the DM:''' *sigh* 
'''Billy the Roleplayer:''' Alas! Remember what the Skeleton said! 
'''Giles:''' that nobody fucked him in the eye socket yet lol 
'''John:''' lol yeah that was good one lol 
'''Gwen:''' lol 
'''Billy the Roleplayer:''' *sigh* 
'''Chris the DM:''' *sigh* 
'''Billy the Roleplayer:''' He mentioned that the water moves when the stone strikes it – and that stones move when water touches them! We need to use water to— 
'''Gwen:''' lol i cum on the door 
'''Giles:''' lol 
'''John:''' lol 
'''Billy the Roleplayer:''' *sigh* 
'''Chris the DM:''' *sigh* 

==Example 10==

'''Chris:''' The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility. 
'''Billy:''' Aw fuck. 
'''Gwen:''' What? 
'''Billy:''' It's a TALKING door. 
'''John:''' What language was it speaking in? 
'''Chris:''' Uh. It was— 
'''Giles:''' It taunted me! My dwarven rage grows! I attack it! 
'''John:''' He rolled a nineteen, what's the AC on the door? 

==Example 11==

'''Chris:''' The terrorist defeated, John leaves his clone behind and rides into the sunset with Gwen, as Giles and Billy follow behind. 
'''John:''' Man, I'm going to have sex? 
'''Chris:''' What? 
'''John:''' It's what happens, hero rides off in the sunset, cue chick bow wow. 
'''Billy:''' Wait, I rode off with Giles. 
'''Giles:''' Uh oh. 

==Example 12==

'''DM:''' The guards haul away Giles and— 
'''Billy:''' shutup. 
'''DM:''' Wha? 
'''John:''' Yeah, all he did was hold us back, weirdo druid. 
'''DM:''' So you just want to leave your only healer? 
'''Billy:''' Yeah, can we fight now? 
'''DM:''' A— 
'''John:''' And did you finish my custom template? 
'''Giles:''' Does this mean I have to reroll? 
'''Billy:''' [[Dark Dungeons|No, get out Blackleaf dhur-hur-hur!]] 
'''John:''' Who? 
'''Giles:''' *sigh* DM? 
'''DM:''' The level 60 guards return: "Turns out we did have information about you two after all . . ." 
'''John & Billy:''' RAILROAD! 

==Example 13==

'''Chris:''' The— 
'''Doorbell:''' *Ding dong* 
'''Billy:''' Pizza!

'''(Eating)'''

'''Chris:''' Man, that was great. Anyway, the cr— 
'''Giles:''' Y'know, pizza was like the sushi of the fifties.

'''(Discussion)'''

'''Chris:''' Huh, I never thought about capitalism and morality like that. ANYWAY, the crypt a— 
'''John:''' Oh wait, before we do anything else I have to show you these YouTube vids.

'''(YouTubing)'''

'''Chris:''' Heh, cool, Master Chick, heh, anyway, the crypt is— 
'''Gwen:''' Guys, I gotta go. 
'''Billy:''' Yeah. It's, like, one. 
'''Giles:''' Ditto. 
'''John:''' Well, if everyone else is going, I'm going too. 
'''Chris:''' I'm feeling sleepy too. G'night everybody!

==Example 14==

'''Chris:''' The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility. 
'''Billy:''' Can't I just roll INT to figure out the riddle? I'm sure it had to deal with that one cryptic unkillable skeleton. 
'''Chris:''' . . . 'Kay. 

==Example 15==

'''DM:''' The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility. 
'''Billy:''' Using Mordenkainen's Door Retardation and Quickening Bigby's Cockblock Keychain, I unlock the door. 
'''DM:''' Right. 
'''Giles:''' I— 
'''Billy:''' I then prepare my psionic headband for any oncoming attacks. Preparing my sword, I walk forward. 
'''Gwen:''' Uh— 
'''DM:''' A dire lemur appears! 
'''John:''' Oh, well I cas— 
'''Billy:''' Firing my Brain Blasting Bolt of Alliteration at the dire lemur, he explodes into a pile of nothingness. 
'''Gwen:''' Is that even poss— 
'''DM:''' Fantastic! Okay guys, well, that wraps up tonight! Great RP, Billy, you get XXX xp. Giles, Gwen, John, you three really need to speak up more, XX xp. 

==Example 16==

'''DM:''' The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility. 
'''Billy:''' The what now? 
'''DM:''' Big stone door, nobody can get in. 
'''Billy:''' Why didn't you just say so?

==More==

Chris: The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility. 
Billy: Got stoneshaping. 
Chris: Oh... Alright, well you bend open the door- 
Billy: Why do that? I'll collapse the crypt. How much xp do I get for killing everything in the dungeon. 
Giles: Asshole. There's probably treasure down there. 
John: Asshole. Why'd I bother with getting alchemy if I can't blow shit up? 
Gwen: Asshole. I wanted that exp! 
Chris: WE'RE GOING BACK TO COC. 

----

DM: You're at the crypt, you see the door, its heavily barred. 
Billy:IMMA FUCKING KILL IT !! 
DM: Its a door, you can't kill it, stop being a twat. 
Chris: Okay, I'm gonna pick the lock. 
*picks lock* 
DM: Right, right, now some big fuck off monster comes storming out. 
Billy: IMMA FUCKING KILL IT !! 
DM: Goddammit Billy.

----

Chris: The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility. 
Billy: We're way past this. 
Chris: Sorry, sorry. Anyway, you get to the prison, where the chained maiden awaits. 
Gwen: Oh lord. 
Chris: What? 
Gwen: Misogyny much? 
Chris: OH COME ON, it happens, sometimes you meet captured princes or peasants, it's just a fluke. 
Gwen: And what's she wearing? 
Billy: I'd like to know too. And make sure she's wearing LESS. 
Chris: Well, uh, she's... Naked, cringing in fear attempting to cover herself, fear and despair in her large eyes. 
Billy: Well, a promise is a promise. 
Giles: dood wat 
John: Why is no one paying attention to my crit to sexify? 
Gwen: Fuckers.

----

DM:Kay your standing outside the crypt. 
Chris: I'm gonna shoot it with my melta gun. It has AP 1 
DM: This isn't 40k Chris. 
Chris: Yeah, I know, but this fucking sucks, it needs guns. 
DM: You don't get a melta gun. 
Chris: So how're we supposed to open the door? 
DM: I don't fucking know, you tell me. 
Chris: Can we play 40k 
Billy: Jesus, Chris, shut the fuck up. 
Chris: No, this is bullshit, we spend half the game fucking talking and not fighting anything. 
John: Oh shit, my girlfriend is phoning, talk amongst yourselves for half an hour. 
Chris: Can we play 40k while he's on the phone? 
DM: Seriously Chris, shut the hell up. 
Billy: Right, I'm opening the fucking door. 
DM: How? 
Billy: Uhm...dunno, cast a spell or something. 
DM: Oh for...fine spell works the fucking door is open. 
Chris: Can there be a bloodthirster behind it? 
DM: No Chris, there aren't any of them in this game. Stop being a retard. 
Chris: Then I'm going to go get a pizza, screw this. 
DM: So you're just leaving Billy to wander the crypt on his own? 
Billy: I step into the cave, slip down a chasm and die. Lets just play fucking 40k. 
Chris: I brought my Tau and my Necrons. Who wants to play me?

----

DM: You have arrived at the crypt, a large stone door blocks your way. 
Chris: The Big Cojones! 
Billy: Finally, after all this questing, the Big Cojones will not escape again! 
DM: Your here for a cure for the king, remember? 
Giles: Is there any obvious way to open the door? 
DM: None that you can see 
Chirs: Stand back citizen, this is no time for any door opening shenanigans, that would only alert the Big Cojones to our arrival! 
Billy: HAH! The Big Cojones is no match for our power! With his death the mountains for trasure will be ours! 
Chris: We need a disguise, everyone put on those skeleton skulls we got earlier to act as masks, a perfect plan! 
DM: You were supposed to interrogate those skeletons, not defile them... 
Billy: Disguises are all well and good but we need to act with surprise on our side. I shall smash this door into nothing in but a single attack! 
Chris: No, I think you'll find that I'LL smash the door in. 
Billy: Thats it! I've had it with your petulant ways, DRAW! 
*Rock [[Pen and paper|paper]] scissors* 
Billy: Curse you ROCK!!!

----

Chris: The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility. 
Billy: Blast! How shalt we get through this door? King Darod and his Kingdom are depending upon us to retrieve the cure! 
Gwen: Don't worry, I have an idea! Remember earlier when we were interrogating that skeleton? He mentioned that the water moves when the stone strikes it... 
John: And that stones move when water touches them! Brilliant! Alright, I'll go and grab some water from that creek that Chris mentioned earlier-" 
Mark: I throw myself at the door bodily and physically. 
Chris: You bounce off the door. 
Mark: I keep doing it, over and over. 
Gwen: I say "Mark! Stop doing that! You'll hurt yourself!" 
Billy: I sigh. 
John: I'll go get the water. 
Chris: Mark, you're starting to get dizzy from all the battering against the immobile stone slab. 
Mark: I headbutt it! 
Chris: Okay... and you fall down, dazed and sick. You can't feel your legs. 
Mark: I throw my sword at it, and mumble something about nature and trees. 
Billy: There aren't any trees in the cave. 
John: I return with the water and put it on the door. 
Chris: The door opens, and a group of goblins attack! 
Billy: To arms! 
Mark: I draw my sword and fight! 
Chris: You're incapacitated and you threw your sword away. 
Mark: I try to grab one on the leg. 
Chris: YOU LOSE YOUR ARM. 
Mark: I roll around. This could be a bother.

----

DM: As you walk down the thin mountain pass, you come to the entrance of the temple. It has two large golden doors that block the entrance. 
Player: Okay, when you say gold, do you mean, like actual gold? 
DM: Uh.... yeah, why? 
Player: Okay, I take the right door. 
DM: You walk up to the temple entrance and push in the right door and star-- 
Player: No, I TAKE, the right door. As in, take it. 
DM: *sigh* You can't walk through the dungeon with that! 
Player: Oh. Then we'll sell it! 
DM: The nearest city is 500 miles away. 
Player: We better start walking then!

----

DM: As you exit the forest you come onto an open field of grass with a [[Dread Gazebo|gazebo]] standing in the center. 
Player: What's the gazebo doing? 
DM: It's a gazebo. It's just sitting there. 
Player: Okay.... I shoot an arrow at the gazebo. 
DM: Okay, now it's a gazebo with an arrow in it.. 
Player: Alright... uh... I slowly walk towards the gazebo. 
DM: THE GAZEBO JUMPS UP AND EATS YOU! ARE YOU HAPPY?! ROLL A NEW CHARACTER!

----

Chris: Hey, Gwen you up for the RPG tonight? 
Gwen: Uhm... No, I'm sorry, I'm busy... Y'know, studying. 
Chris: Alright, how about tomorrow night? 
Gwen: I'm, uh, well, it's a BIG exam. 
Chris: When...When are you free then? 
Gwen: Look, uhm, can we talk about this later Chris, I really don't know it's all so stacked up... 
Chris: Oh. Kay.

Later...

Chris: The crypt awaits before you, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its goddamn immovable bulk. 
Billy: Uh, alright, can you play Gwen's character and have her use that ring- 
Chris: No, she says no. Says she's busy. 
Giles: Oh Jesus. 
Chris: Know what else? She turns to you all, and rips off the mask to reveal she was the lich all along. 
John: What? But I remembe- 
Chris: SHE'S REALLY FUCKING GOOD AT MANIPULATING YOU, YOU STUPID LITTLE BASTARDS. 
Billy: . . .Well, I ask 
Chris: TOO LATE! SHE TEARS OUT YOUR HEEEEEEEEEEARRRRRRRRTTTTTT

----

Chris: The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility. 
Billy: *Snrk* 
Chris: What, what fucking is it? 
John: Well, we were just wondering. 
Chris: About? 
Giles: What's the damage for getting a heart torn out? 
Chris: FUCK YOU FUCK YOU ALL GET OUT OF MY FUCKING ROOM FUCK YOUUUUUUUU

----

Chris: The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility. 
Billy: I blow it up with C4. 
Chris: You don't have any C4... it hasn't been invented yet... 
Billy: Well then I invent C4 and blow it up. 
Chris: ok so while Billy's out inventing C4 what do the rest of you do? 
John: I invent it before him and blow up the door. 
Gwen: I open the door. 
Chris: You can't open it, it's locked. 
Billy: I'm done inventing my C4. I blow up the door. 
John: I steal your C4 and blow the door up with it. 
Chris: You don't ha- 
Billy: Why would you steal my C4 to do with it the exact same thing i was going to do with it? 
John: 'Cause you're stupid and you would mess everything up 
Chris: You made the C4 wrong and you blow yourselves up. Except for Gwen. Her clothes are destroyed in the explosion. 

----

Chris: There is a crypt ahead of... 
Billy: FALCON PUNCH!!! 
DM: ... 

----

[[Image:Mynameishuge.jpg|thumb|right|MEDS ARE FOR THE WEAK.]]Chris: The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you- 
Billy: FOUL DOOR! I'LL NOT BE SO CRUELLY TAUNTED BY SUCH AN ENCHANTMENT! 
John: Oh god, Billy's off his meds again... 
BILLY: MY NAME IS HUGE

----

DM: Okay, so both John and Dave's characters are alone. 
Dave: I grapple John's elf. 
John: What? 
Dave: Sorry dude, but she's been looking at my half-orc like she wants it, so he's gonna give it to her. 
John: Dude! This is disgusting! 
DM: Do you fight back? 
John: GOD no. 
DM: I'm... sorry? 
John: This is a rape. She pretty much just melts onto his dick. 
Dave: Pretty much. 
DM: Okay well, I guess we can fade that to bla- 
BILLY: HEY GUYS I SUMMONED A DIRE WHALE. HIS NAME IS WILLY. 
DM: ... the Inn explodes. Dave and John's characters are killed by falling whale... Billy gets 100 exp and his fucking medication WHICH HE WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE. 
BILLY: WILLY NOOOO!

----

DM: The crypt awaits, the entrance sealed by a slab of stone, seemingly presenting no logical way to open it. 
Gwen: Oh I remember now, what the skelet- 
Billy: Fuck that, I cast fireball at the door. 
DM: What. It's two feet of stone, and the whole group is right in front of the bloody thing. 
Billy: Well, you said no logical way to open it. Perfectly in-character, considering how many metamagic feats he can put into a fireball spell he could likely melt right through it. 
DM: And melt right through the whole party. 
Billy: Perfectly in-character. You did say to stay consistant, and I've been consistantly unhinged. 
Gwen: He does have a point. 
DM: ....fuck.

==Some Dark Heresy==

'''Chris:''' You all look back at the blast where the Demon was summoned. The soldiers who were attacking you before are now running at you begging you to rescue them. 
'''Billy:''' I jump out of the truck to capture the first one for interrogation. 
'''John:''' GET BACK IN THE TRUCK! 
'''Dave:''' I drive my car away without you guys. Screw this. 
'''Gwen:''' I get off the truck. Half round aim, shoot the soldier. I rolled a 20, that's a hit. 31 damage. 
'''Chris:''' The surrendering soldier's head explodes. 
'''Billy:''' Dammit... You said there was more than one soldier trying to escape the demon, right? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, there are three more close by, they're all running toward you shouting for help. 
'''John:''' GUYS I SWEAR TO GOD I'M COUNTING TO FIVE. GET IN THE GODDAMN TRUCK! 
'''Billy:''' I grab the next closest guy. 
'''Gwen:''' 18. Five degrees of success, 28 damage. He's dead. 
'''Billy:''' STOP SHOOTING POTENTIAL CAPTIVES! 
'''John:''' ... THREE, TWO, ONE. 
'''Dave:''' I'm calling in an airlift for myself. 
'''Gwen:''' I stun Billy. 16, he's unconscious for 3 rounds. I drag him onto the bus. 
'''Chris:''' So you're not taking any captives? 
'''Party:''' NO! 
'''Chris:''' Ok. An airlift comes and picks you guys up. Where are they taking you? 
'''John:''' I don't know, I feel like we don't have any leads to follow. 
'''Chris:''' *sigh* 

[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]][[Category:Copypasta]]

Sisters of Battle

2020-09-21T11:24:16Z

2001:67C:2660:425:23:0:0:170:

[[File:AdSor 2.jpg|300px|right|thumb|We'd like to [[Flamer|talk]] [[Bolter|to]] [[Meltagun|you]] for a moment about your [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Lord and Savior]]]]
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smqK5cHSxMA '''PLASTIC SISTERS CONFIRMED, FOR REAL THIS TIME''']

{{Topquote|Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity.|H.P. Lovecraft}}

''[[Guidelines of the Space Marines|Space Marine Guideline]] 1: Thou shalt not refer to the Adepta Sororitas as "[[Bolter]] Bitches," nor shalt thou go anywhere near our sisters during the time of their "Red Rage," lest thou wish to be the first human to enter orbit without the aid of a shuttle.

{{Topquote|Praise be the Emperor and pass the ammunition, for what one doesn't cure the other will|Dark Heresy Inquisitors Handbook}}

'''Sisters of Battle''' are essentially [[Warhammer 40k]]'s female equivalent of [[Space Marines]], warriors devoted to the [[God-Emperor_of_Mankind|Emperor]]. Although they lack the genetic modification of their beefier brethren, they also wear [[power armour]] and are armed mainly with the ubiquitous [[Bolter]] and [[Chainsword]]. The Sisters of Battle are also known as the "Daughters of the Emperor", and officially as the '''"Adepta Sororitas"''', though the Adepta Sororitas refers to their entire organization, while the term Sisters of Battle refers only to their militant branch. They are more colloquially known by players as "bolter bitches/babes" or "nuns with guns", almost always resulting in an awkward boner. They are ''not'' to be confused with [[Female Space Marines]].

==Overview==
[[File:Lusty Marine.png|300px|thumb|left]]
The Sisters of Battle are part of the [[Ecclesiarchy]], the religious arm of Imperial government, and sometimes work with the [[Inquisition]]'s [[Witch Hunters]]. In the 36th millennium, the Ecclesiarchy's pope, a guy called [[Goge Vandire]], attained the dual position of Ecclesiarch and Master of the Administratum, effectively giving him control over everyone in the Imperium, including nearly all of its armed forces. With the exception of the Space Marines and Adeptus Mechanicus, pretty much everyone had to do what he said or face a slow and agonizing death. Unfortunately for everyone who wasn't lucky enough to be a Space Marine or Tech-Priest, he was also completely insane, and his rule was so devastating that it came to be known as the Reign of Blood, leading to untold billions of deaths across the Imperium, which in turn led to violent warp storms the likes of which wouldn't be seen again until the formation of the [[Great Rift]] 5,000 years later. During this period, Vandire discovered a force of warrior-nuns living on the feudal world of San Leor known as the Daughters of the Emperor. Although they initially didn't want anything to do with him, he convinced them that he was the Emperor's chosen by having his bodyguard shoot him while he was protected by the force field of a rosarius. Because the relatively primitive Daughters of the Emperor had never seen a force field before, they assumed that this meant Vandire was protected by the Emperor, and happily joined him. Rechristened as the Brides of the Emperor, they served as Vandire's personal bodyguards, shock troops, servants, and concubines. With a force of hyper-loyal Battle Sisters at his command, Vandire became effectively untouchable, proven when he had the Sisters execute all of the [[High Lords of Terra]], which he quickly replaced with his cronies. Suffice to say, things looked pretty bleak.

Of course, this state of affairs couldn't last forever. Late in his reign, a preacher known as [[Sebastian Thor]] rose to prominence in the Imperium, leading a massive crusade to Terra to take down Vandire once and for all. Agreeing that they too were sick of the High Lord, the Space Marines and Adeptus Mechanicus joined forces and launched an assault on Terra, matching themselves against Frateris Templars, Sisters of Battle, and those [[Imperial Guard]] and [[Imperial Navy|Navy]] forces that hadn't joined the insurrection. Unfortunately for them, the Sisters numbered around 10,000 women by this point, and they were battle-hardened, motivated, and armed to the teeth. The siege dragged on interminably, with no end in sight. Getting desperate, the Space Marines contacted the Adeptus Custodes, who had remained neutral for most of the siege, but agreed to help the insurrectionists out. Using secret passages to avoid the fighting, the Captain-General of the Custodes presented himself to Alicia Dominica, the leader of the Brides of the Emperor. After debating with her for some time, the Captain-General realized that she wasn't going to budge, and resorted to an extreme course of action; he took her and her five closest compatriots to the Imperial Palace and into the throneroom of the Emperor himself. No one knows what happened in there, but when the six women re-emerged, they went straight to Vandire, declared him a heretic of the highest degree, and beheaded him.

In the aftermath of this conflict, the Imperium underwent a substantial political restructuring known as the Reformation, designed to prevent another Reign of Blood from ever occurring. As part of this restructuring, the High Lords decreed that the Ecclesiarchy was no longer allowed to maintain "men under arms." Of course, while this meant the Ecclesiarchy had to disband their fleet and standing armies of Frateris Templars, the Sisters of Battle were technically allowed to remain, being women under arms and not men. While many point to this as an example of the idiocy of the High Lords of Terra, this easily-circumventable wording was likely intentional, as unlike the other Ministorum forces, the Sisters of Battle had proven that their loyalty was to the Emperor first and the Ecclesiarchy second, meaning that they could be relied upon to police the Ministorum as well as protect it.

In combat, Sisters of Battle have something of an obsession with the purifying effects of flame, and generally choose equipment that allows them to cover heretics with as much holy promethium and thermal lances as possible. This philosophy is most obviously exemplified by the Immolator tank, essentially a rolling [[METAL BOXES|steel crate]] with giant flamethrowers or multi-meltas stuck on it. They also have the [[Exorcist]], a mobile pipe organ that shoots missiles. Less accurate than the Whirlwind Missile Launcher or any Imperial Guard artillery, but who cares, the thought of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flmoGRFZ7jc|pipe organs launching missiles while playing epic mass complete with Latin] is fucking awesome, dammit.

[[File:Ordersmilitant.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Brief overviews of the six main Orders. For a long time, this was basically the only lore that most of them had.]]
There are six main Orders, divided between the two Convents that were separated during the Reformation in the 36th Millenium: Prioris, based on Terra, and Sanctorum, based on Ophelia VII. All minor Orders are descended from one of these six. In general, Prioris behave like an actual military force, while Sanctorum is made up of Fanatical Sado-Masochists.

'''Convent Prioris Orders:'''
* [[Order of the Argent Shroud|'''Argent Shroud:''']] The Lawful Goods. Are a rarity among Imperial factions, in that they are described as being famous for selfless heroism, as well as altruism. For this reason, /tg/ likes to fluff them as noble space Paladins and she-bros to the [[Salamanders]]. They wear Silver.
* '''[[Order of the Ebon Chalice|Ebon Chalice]]:''' The vanilla Order. These Sisters haven't changed a whole lot since they were first created, preferring to stick to their tried and tested methods. The most dedicated to flamers and psyker-killing. They wear Black and White.
* [[Order of the Sacred Rose|'''Sacred Rose:''']] Cool, calm and collected. The most tactical Sisters. Enjoy gunning their foes down in a more disciplined manner. <s>If they were to get their own rules, their Rets would have slow and purposeful</s> their rules are dedicated to the new 8e mechanic for the sisters in Miracle Die, and its accumulation. The most defensively minded of all. They wear white.

'''Convent Sanctorum Orders:'''
* [[Order of the Bloody Rose|'''Bloody Rose:''']] Aggressive as fuck. Aim to kill off their enemies as quickly as possible, as they see no reason to let the heretic live any longer than necessary. They wear red.
* '''[[Order of Our Martyred Lady|Our Martyred Lady]]:''' The postergirl Order, probably the ones who come to mind when people think of Sisters. The amount of favouritism they receive from GW is slightly disturbing. Just take a look at the Notable Sororitas Characters table below to get an idea of how they dominate SoB fluff. The Order itself is reputed as being determined even for SoBs, which is saying something. Will not stop until their enemies are utterly destroyed. They wear black and red. They originally wore all-black armour to show their mourning for St. Katherine, but changed the cloth to red to honour their losses during the Third War for Armageddon.
* [[Order of the Valorous Heart|'''Valorous Heart:''']] Repent! These Sisters feel the guiltiest about that whole [[Age of Apostasy]] thing, and as a result have an excess of [[Sisters Repentia|BDSM berserkers]]. Likely on constant lookout for the slightest sign of weakness in themselves or any allies serving alongside them. They wear the most black.

==Sororitas Orders Non-Militant==
As mentioned in the opening, not all of the Adepta Sororitas are actually Sisters of Battle. A number of Orders exist which officially serve non-combat-related roles in Imperial Society, although they tend to receive even less attention than their combat-fighting sisters. The largest source of info on these Sororitas thus-far is the ''Blood of Martyrs'' sourcebook for [[Dark Heresy]], which specifies the three most important Orders and mentions the existence of others. The latest 8e codex also covered the non-militant orders in some level of depth, as well as expanding on a few of the lesser known orders that were originally mentioned in ''Blood of Martyrs''.

* '''[[Orders Dialogous]]:''' These Sororitas are dedicated to the studying of language, with tasks ranging from interpreting long-lost texts to accompanying Imperial diplomats on contact missions with intelligent xenos species. Thanks to their training, even the most average Sororitas knows several hundred everyday human dialects and dozens of secret cants, ciphers, even xenos tongues. Sororitas of these Orders are some of the few individuals judged worthy (and capable) of actually understanding the [[Eldar]] tongue, a linguistic talent shared only by some Ordo Xenos Inquisitors and the occasional Rogue Trader, diplomat or Astartes.
* '''[[Orders Famulous]]:''' Figuratively the [[Dune|Bene Gesserit]], without the kung fu skills from perfect body control. These Sororitas serve intimately with the upper echelons of Imperial society, acting as chamberlains, counselors, and consuls to the nobility. Their focus is on the spiritual and genetic purity of the human race, so they concern themselves with not only seeing to the education of nobles, but also secretly arranging alliances and marriages, in the hope of preventing corruption and inbreeding from taking root. They are particularly involved in tracking the manifestations of saints, which makes them a popular ally for Thorian Inquisitors. Considering the sheer amount of idiotic nobles causing heretical uprisings they clearly need more funding.
* '''[[Sister Hospitaler|Orders Hospitaller]]:''' Healers and medics, these Sororitas are amongst the most skilled and compassionate surgeons in the Imperium, meaning they are commonly found attached to the [[Imperial Guard]]. Given their mission, they are one of the more beloved orders by the common citizenry of the Imperium. Of course, this being the Imperium, they're also expert torturers often called upon for that purpose by the Ecclesiarchy and the Inquisition, though Inquisitors are cautioned against using Hospitallers to keep important heretics alive; they have a bad tendency to forget about the future gains and instead "take the Emperor's justice into their own hands". Handing them over after the interrogations is fully encouraged.
* '''Others:''' Scores, perhaps even hundreds, of minor non-militant Orders exist within the Adepta Sororitas.
** '''Orders Fenestrus:''' Maintain the armaglass windows of Imperial shrines and cathedrals. Now, you may say "WTF!? That is such a waste of manpower!", but you should think about the fact that the divine power of Big E keeps Chaos influence away and the Imperium makes sure that its places of worship are able to brainwash you into the soul protecting doctrine as much as as possible, and fabulous windows are an easy eye-catcher.
** '''Orders Madriga:''' Compose the temple choirs.
** '''Orders Sabine:''' Sub-order of the Famulous. Infiltrate newly rediscovered worlds and prepare them for the Missionarius Galaxia. Within a generation, a human infant born on such a world can be found killing his grandparents Xeno friends.
** '''Orders Planxilium:''' Leading processionals on holy days.
**'''Orders Pronatus:''' Retrieving, repairing, and guarding holy relics from around the Imperium.
** '''Orders Vespila:''' Sanctifying the dead and forensic specialists. Probably Hospitaler specialist sub-order as there is a good bit of overlap.

==Daily Rituals==
*04:00: Reveille: The Sisters are roused from their beds on the hard stone floor.
*05:00: Grooming: The Sisters shower, comb their hair, and brush their teeth. This is the point where roughly 80% of anything with the Sisters involved is imagined.
*06:00: Matins: A light prayer session of two hours in total silence.
*08:00: Breakfast: A light meal of flavorless gruel, as anything more enjoyable is an indulgence of the flesh and thus not to be tolerated.
*08:10: Morning Target Practice: The Sisters assemble for target practice, with roughly 50% more praying than other target practice sessions.
*11:00: Physical Training and Self-Mortification: The Sisters train their bodies, before whipping themselves and eachother. This is where the other 20% of anything with the Sisters involved is imagined.
*12:00: Ritual Abstention from Lunch.
*12:05: Meditation: The Sisters are encouraged to reflect on the weaknesses of flesh, and the unnecessary nature of midday meals.
*13:00: Midday Hike: The Sisters indulge in a scenic hike, in full power armour.
*15:00: Executions: Guardsmen found to show insufficient faith, excessive sympathy for mutants, improperly shined boots, improperly maintained bolters, and insufficient faith in the God-Emperor, again.
*16:00: Battle Practice: The Sisters gather to practice fighting with their extremely lethal weapons, sparring combat with each at full power is mandatory.
*18:00: Vespers: A light prayer session of two hours, in slightly louder silence.
*20:00 Surprise Inspection: The Sisters are inspected to ensure proper faith and equipment maintainence.
*20:30: A Second, Even More Surprising Inspection.
*21:00: Evening Meal.
*22:00: Compline and bedtime.

==Sisters Snuff==
Back in [[Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader|1st Edition]], they were present fluff only as an order that was essentially the [[Just As Planned|Inquisition for everyone including the Inquisition]] (like an Inquisition Internal Affairs branch; a "who watches the watchmen?" deal) and [[Derp|Space Marines]]. This would change in later editions, when they eventually get their own codex.

In 1997, when the [[Necron|Necrons]] were launched, [[Games Workshop]] had them face the Sisters in a Battle report, which the Sisters lost. The results of this battle report then became the [[Sanctuary 101]] fluff. Games Workshop liked the result so much that they decided the Sisters of Battle should get slaughtered all the time. Unless they are falling to Chaos, obviously. Some fans blame popular GW whipping boy [[Matthew Ward|Matt "Spiritual Liege" Ward]] for this tendency, but it was there long before he got here [[FATAL|and it continues to exist after he left]].

Please note that while [[Heresy|fa/tg/uys]] [[/d/|masturbate furiously]] to fanfics of Sisters engaging in bdsm fetish sex with the likes of other Lesbian sisters, servitors, children, Schola Progenium cadets, Eldar, Dark Eldar, [[WhipsOil&Lofn|Half-Eldar]] or [[Sister of Nurgle|even the likes of Nurgle]], all of the below actually, '''canonically''' ''fucking happened''. (It should also be worth noting that they're getting stomped '''by their own fucking allies''' in most of these.)

[[File:Warhammer_40k_sisters_of_battle_adeptas_sororitas_battling_Dark_Eldar.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Heroic Lesbian Space Nuns + Evil BDSM Space Elves = Shut up and take my money! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fU5ZHQLsGo FAP !FAP! FAP!] ]]
Some highlights include:
* Some of a Dialogus Order and some Battle Sisters turned to Chaos by a [[Slaanesh|Slaaneshi]] Keeper of Secrets.
* A whole Order Mind Controlled by one Chaos [[Psyker]]. Fucking [[C.S.Goto|Goto]] (This happened again in the Ciaphas Cain books, although it was only a tiny convent with a couple of squads of sisters, not a entire Order and said pskyer was also a direct lieutenant of the [[Failbaddon|Despoiler]] himself and could control [[powergamer|entire planets]]).
* An Order is present in another Ciaphas Cain book, wherein they're tricked into exterminating the workers of a mining outpost and sheltering a rogue Inquisitor. In an unrelated matter, they nearly cost the Imperial Guard a crucial battle against the Tyranids because they couldn't keep their bloodlust in check (Only Ciaphas Cain calling them out for leaving countless civilians to be slaughtered in their temples as they pushed forward made them reconsider). That said, it's one of the kinder portrayals in this list, because the Sisters in that battle do manage to make it back to the defense lines, and the entire Order dies in a later battle covering the Commissar's exit in repentance.
* A strike force of [[Celestians]] and an [[Inquisitor]] being killed, cannibalized, and sacrificed by the Sons of Malice Astartes chapter for disturbing their victory rites and falsely accusing the chapter of heresy. (To be fair, a small force of sisters against an entire Chapter? Still doesn't excuse the cannibalism, though.)
* A whole shrine-world of Sisters killed by a <s>[[Chaos Dreadnought#Helbrute|Helbrute]]</s> [[Daemon Engine]] powered by [[rage]]. It shrugs off meltas, meltabombs and multiple [[Exorcist]] volleys, and the efforts of a number of [[Salamanders]] in Terminator armour. A [[Living Saint]] even gives up her divinity (not to be confused with virginity) to stop it by speaking the bound Daemon's true name (her order had a vow of silence, probably so the audio recording team didn't need to hire women to do any of the speaking rolls for the audio drama), therefore weakening it after her aura of peace causes it to calm down and shrink down to the size of a man instead of a massive daemon walker. The daemon is then destroyed when its shell is broken after a Space Marine decides to throw a [[Power weapon|Thunder Hammer]] at it. ''We are not making this shit up''.
* A detachment of Sisters killed by [[Grey Knights]], [[Khornate Knights|their bodies sliced open and their blood applied to the Grey Knights' armor, so the Grey Knights can be immune to the Bloodtide's effects (though some of the Sisters were immune with faith alone, make of that what you will).]] The Bloodtide was retconned in the most recent Grey Knights Codex to instead go down holding the line long enough for their Grey Knight allies to finish off the Daemons. Still losing, but at least this time they die with dignity.
* In another instance of Grey Knight-on-Sororita violence, during the climax of the first novel of the Grey Knight series, a detachment of Sisters led by Cannoness Ludmilla is tricked by a Chaos-turned Inquisitor into thinking that the Grey Knights pursuing it are Chaos Space Marines. Later (as in a few pages later), said detachment gets nearly kamikaze'd by said Grey Knight Strike Cruiser, which itself was shot down by Imperial Navy ships fooled into thinking that it was Chaos - starting to see a pattern here? Surprisingly, the only dudes that die from the crash are Imperial Guard and PDF - the Sisters survive but only to get the ever-Emprah-lovin' shit beaten out of them by the surviving Grey Knights. The sisters pull no punches, however, and do manage to take out a few of Alaric's squadmates, so power to them. BUT WAIT. Seeing as this was written by a much more competent author, unlike the ambiguous piece of shite-fluff written by a certain [[Matthew Ward|spiritual liege]], both sides figure out that this was part of an elaborate case of [[JUST AS PLANNED]], they stop fighting,and even more shockingly, the person who ends it is Cannoness Ludmilla, after noticing the FUCKHUEG books bolted on the GK's mighty pauldrons, and team up to take down the Big Baddy.

* Apart from the codex stuff, they were also stomped in the video game ''[[Dawn Of War|Dawn of War: Soulstorm]]''. It all started when [[Selena Agna]] of the Sacred Rose falsely accused Governer General [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs]] for the Warp Storm that appeared in Kaurava system. The sisters then had a zealots hard on which resulted in them thinking that everyone, even their imperial brethren ([[Space Marines|Space Marines]] and [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Guards]]) should be purged. Stubbs, like a true gentleman, not only dismissed the claim, but was also planning to destroy the sisters without [[Khornate Knights|the worries of committing a heretical action]] because "fuck you, no way me and my men gonna die for from some crazy bitch's accusation." They were presumably killed sacrificing themselves in an attempt to destroy the enemy, though we don't know who it was that wiped them out (however considering that Gorgutz is the canonical winner, it was likely him). Also, funny story, but that bit about accusing the Imperial Guard of starting the Warp Storm? ''They were right.'' The Chaos ending reveals that the storm was triggered by an Imperial Guardsman who turned out to be a latent psyker. Oops.

==The Sudden Yet Inevitable Betrayal==
{{MattWard}}

[[File:Sister_Hmph.jpg|200px|thumb|left|The reaction of Sisters and SoB players everywhere to the codex update.]] On August 1, 2011 [[Games Workshop]] finally decided to attempt to "revamp" the Sisters of Battle with a [[White Dwarf]] codex, much to the aggravation of about two thirds of the [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Witch Hunters|Witch Hunters']] remaining playerbase. It was by no means a horrible update; initial worries on [[/tg/]] suggested it to be akin to a biblical plague in terms of disaster-level, when in truth it was simply sub-average. The update had its fluff written by [[Matt Ward|your SPIRITUAL LIEGE]]. In spite of this, it was squarely in-level with another [[Tyranids|bad codex update]], because the rules were clearly written by committee.

Gone were the various inquisitorial units that got gobbled up by the [[Grey Knights]] codex update. This meant that many of the classics, like [[Witch Hunters#Notable Members of the Ordos Hereticus|Lord Inquisitor Krazypantzoff]] and [[Officio Assassinorum|Temple Assassins]], were gone, though they were replaced with Ecclesiarchy characters like [[Uriah Jacobus]] and [[Arch-Confessor Kyrinov]]. The Sisters did get some of Grey Knight units, namely [[Death Cult Assassin|Death Cult Assassins]], [[Arco-flagellant|Arco-Flagellants]], and [[Crusaders|Crusaders]], though their usefulness was questionable at best. [[Immolator|Immolators]] took a nasty nerf-bat to the face, being unable to fire on the move and losing all fire-points, which basically made them more-cost-effective [[Razorback Transport]]s). Who would have thought that Games Workshop would update an army by [[Carnifex|nerfing the one model every player had a couple of so that they all have to go out and buy new models]]?

Faith was functionally changed to a game of roulette, with randomized dice rolls deciding how much (if anything at all) you get. Units were given very specific faith powers on a squad-by-squad basis now, and whilst several were powerful, others were meh at best. [[Image:Repressor.jpg|right|thumb|Heavy armor in an update? We fucking ''wish''.]] Whereas before you had a nice general army that could use faith points to adapt to different situations, in the [[White Dwarf|Dwarf-dex]] system you had mostly weaker powers that were unreliable. Powers that most other units for similar points get permanently.

[[Sisters Repentia]] were originally purportedly nerfed, but in the end they were ''vastly'' better, boasting a 6++ invulnerable save, Fleet, and double their original number of attacks with a faith act to do more on death - meaning they stood a good chance of fucking up a lot of units they wouldn't pre-update... So ''now'' instead of paying ridiculous prices for a sick joke, you're just paying ridiculous prices for a suicide squad. At least they'll rape shit while they're there now. ''Progress''!

Sadly, things were muddled by a spree of fake releases as part of an [[Troll|April Fool's Prank]]. Original reports of genuinely useful units to offset the loss of the [[Stormtrooper|Stormtroopers]] and inducted forces thus turned out to be false. There was also talk of a new heavy transport/assault vehicle called the [[Repressor]], but it turned out to be part of the same fucking April Fool's Prank and is still Forgeworld-only (which sucks because it would be an improvement). Of the new characters, Kyrinov was semi-useful, and Jacobus was near-mandatory if you wanted to do anything with Acts of Faith. So in summary, about a third of the Sisters' armory is now gone without being replaced by anything. (The [[Bretonnia|knights]] feel your pain now.)

The biggest kick in the cunt for the Sisters, aside from the obvious loss of utility units, was the loss of ally rules and inducted unit rules. One of the biggest advantages the Sisters had was the ability to, courtesy of the Ordo Hereticus, requisition allied forces. A time-honored method of getting around the relatively weak Sisters of Battle vehicular lineup was to take some Inducted Guardsmen for a Leman Russ or two, or Space Marines for a Predator. The loss of Inquisitors also came with the loss of [[Land Raider|Land Raiders]] as dedicated transports, which was another stab at their vehicular capabilities.

===The Eternal Vigil===
[[Image:Homelesssister.jpg|right|thumb|She waited for so long, and finally found what she needed. Last seen burning heretics in battle with tears of joy streaming down her face.]]
For years many members of [[/tg/]] were violently, gleefully convinced the sisters were on their way to be [[Squat|squatted]], while a tiny contingent of the faithful kept a candle burning, waiting for the day that their beloved bolter bitches will rise again ([[Finecast|tiny bubbles]] and all). After 23 years of metal pewter and 3rd party conversions, their prayers were finally answered and the Emperor delivered onto them [[Awesome|genuine GW plastic bolter bitches!]]

*'''0172008.M3:''' The Sisters are released as a playable faction in [[Dawn of War|Dawn of War: Soulstorm]]. While it is poorly designed and built, it still drums up some enthusiasm for the Sisters. Many conflicted feels are had.
*'''0583011.M3:''' [[Matt Ward|The Destroyer]] and [[Robin Cruddace|The Cruddace]] release a playable [[White Dwarf]] codex for the sisters, hinting at a similar treatment to the [[Blood Angels|Blood <s>Angels]] </s> <s> heretics </s> fuck you.
*'''0608012.M3:''' The sisters are retained for the 6E allies system and given a new flyer via [[Forge World]]. An unconfirmed leak shows a line up of new Sisters characters in development.
*'''0569013.M3:''' Faithful pilgrims supplicate themselves before the great and powerful [[Jervis Johnson]] asking for news on the Sisters. They are told that all armies are being worked on and there are no plans to discontinue support for the sisters. [[Phil Kelly|The Kelly]] adds that modeling issues prevented their release previously.
*'''05611013.M3:''' Rumors begin swirling about an [[Warhammer 40,000/6th Edition Tactics/Adepta Sororitas|official digital codex]] release for the Sisters. A leaked and subsequently confirmed White Dwarf advert later confirms this, and promises an updated version of the 5e codex. A later interview with [[Robin Cruddace|The Cruddace]] indicates that the codex will include tweaks to Faith and points cost, and that if it sells well enough it may get a physical release. The release date for the digital codex was set for October 19th. Later comments on the GW Digital Editions facebook page confirms a Warlord Traits Chart, Ecclesiarchy Relics and an Altar of War, in addition to some updates, new fluff and artwork and changes to faith and points costs. It appears that the Sisters prayers have been at least partially answered. A physical release however is still very much dependent on the sale of this eBook however. Also during all this GW changes the name from Sisters of Battle to Adepta Sororitas most likely because it sounds cooler and is [[ChapterHouse Studios|easier to maintain copyright on]]. The reactions are mixed when the Codex is released, with such changes like making all Acts of Faith usable only once, maximum twice, per battle and many buffs and nerfs around the board, leaving many arguing whatever the Sisters got better or majorly screwed. However, this mixed reception '''is''' better than the universally negative reception of the [[White Dwarf]] codex.
*'''09999015.M3:''' Escalation is released, alongside Stronghold Assault. While Stronghold Assault slips by unnoticed, the Sisters of Battle receive no Lords of War choices in an otherwise controversial and poorly thought out expansion. It then falls to Forge World to release a downloadable sheet a few days later saying that Sisters armies can take Warhound & Reaver titans, as well as Marauder Bombers & Destroyers as Lords of War. The Sisters have yet to comment on how overkill these choices might be if they can ever deploy them. The Reaver is at least far too expensive for normal games.
*'''0914016.M3:''' The Adepta Sororitas digital codex finally gets a physical release as part of [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Imperial Agents|Codex: Imperial Agents]]. Like the digital codex, the new one has a mixed reception, as it removes Saint Celestine from the army (leaving the Sisters with a single named character) and comes with a formation that called the Vestal Task Force that isn't great. However, it also allows for Ministorum Priests to be taken independently, and separates the component units of the Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave, though these units are not given any buffs to make them useful on their own. Not much, but it was something.
[[Image:Celestine Fall of Cadia.jpg|left|thumb|Guess who's back, bitches?]]
*'''0999016.M3:''' The Warhammer TV team, after the initial hint in the video which saw Magnus announced, releases a compilation of 2016 launches. At the end of said video can be seen clearly several launches of January, including no other than a new plastic kit of the '''Living Saint Celestine''', supposedly tied to the release of The Gathering Storm: Fall of Cadia. The internet, and specially /tg/ and the SoB players go nuts shortly after that, which only gets worse after the confirmation in a Twitch live few hours later.
*'''0019017.M3:''' Fall of Cadia releases and Sisters are starting to return to the limelight. Not only do the Nuns With Guns play a substantial role in the 13th Black Crusade, but Saint Celestine is one of the key characters of the story, bringing reinforcements, rallying the beleaguered Imperial Forces, and facing off with [[Abaddon]] himself. She also gets updated rules which turn her into a powerhouse, capable of calling orbital strikes, chopping tanks in half, buffing nearby Imperial units, and becoming nearly impossible to kill. The book also comes with additional Ecclesiarchy Relics, causing much rejoicing among SoB fans.
===The Return===
[[File:WHFest2019-Sororitas1.jpg|250px|thumb|right|A fully painted sneak peak of things to come. Amazingly, GW has taken the time to learn how to sculpt female models [[Commorragh Slaves|that don't look hideous]], though they still haven't learned that [[THIN YOUR PAINTS|using CAD to sculpt in zillions of fiddly details makes life hell for novice painters.]] And she finally has a name! Sister Superior Amalia Novena.]]
*'''0233018.M3:''' In the [[https://www.warhammer-community.com/2018/03/22/breaking-news-major-revealsgw-homepage-post-1/|Adepticon XVI of 018.M3]], the team disclosed a plethora of information of future releases: [[Imperial Knight#Castellan_Knight_Patterns|Knights Castellan]], photos of the [[Idoneth Deepkin]] for AoS, a TCG of AoS and more. One of these announcements is the confirmation that '''THE RENOVATION IN PLASTIC OF THE SISTERS OF BATTLE IS HAPPENING'''. This is due to the overwhelming support of the fanbase during the Great Survey, which convinced the high-ups to give them what is due. The release date was unconfirmed, but temporally was "Emperor's willing, 019.M3" and in the meantime the whole process of designing, creating and bringing them back will be made public. The Sisters would not be going the way of [[Squats|Bretonnia, the space Dwarves, Kislev and Nehekhara]] after all. PRAISE THE EMPRAH!!
*'''0999018.M3:''' GW releases beta Adepta Sororitas rules in Chapter Approved 2018. Despite an insane amount of hype, the rules end up being rather lackluster, and are met with a [[Skub|mixed reaction]] from the community. Although the beta rules help Sisters in some ways, such as buffing Exorcists and making Uriah Jacobus worth his point cost, they also include a series of inexplicable nerfs which drastically reduce their overall utility as an army, such as removing eviscerators from Canonesses, splitting up Celestine and the Geminae Superia, and completely removing wargear options from Ministorum Priests. Worst of all, they reworked Acts of Faith into a points-based system which was both more confusing and less useful than the Index Acts of Faith rules, effectively giving Sisters an army-wide nerf. Fortunately, this was just a beta codex, and [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2019/03/04/battle-sister-bulletin-part-2-beta-rules-feedback/ GW is listening to the community's response.]
*'''0659019.M3:''' During the Nova open a new box set for the sisters was revealed, with new models for the Penitent engine and the Mistress of Repentance as well as confirming November to be the release month for the Sisters new range. The end of the Eternal Vigil is in sight.
*'''0877019.M03:''' The Sister of battle boxset is released..... and then instantly sells out, leaving many Sister fans without a box. GW addresses this saying there will be another chance to get the box in stores on November 29th. [[Tzeentch|Almost as if this was planned]]. It's also announced that the proper release for Sisters with the multi-part kits will actually drop during January 2020, so Sister player will have to wait a little longer for the actual release.
*'''0050020.M03:''' The first actual wave of new Sister models drops, along with the codex, with the next waves of new Sister models being released over the next few weeks. After 23 years, the Sisters of Battle have new, proper plastic model sets. The Eternal Vigil is finally over.
*'''0394020.M03:''' During the [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2020/05/23/the-big-warhammer-40000-previewgw-homepage-post-1/|"Big 40k Preview"], GW revealed the [[Warhammer 40,000 9th Edition|next edition]] of Warhammer 40k, and in the animated trailer for the edition it shows off the [[Sanctuary 101|Sisters fighting Necrons]] along side Space Marines. Further more the Sisters got their [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2020/06/18/faction-focus-adepta-sororitasgw-homepage-post-4fw-homepage-post-4/|Faction Focus] for the new edition very quickly. Both of these facts seem to suggest that GW has realised the popularity of the Sisters and is pushing them to be the Imperiums #2 faction, usurping the Imperial Guard from this position (though the Imperial Guard is finding itself in the same position as the Sisters were). How far they have come in such little time.

===Getting Started With The Nuns===
You can buy the official models.

Or you can look around other 3rd party miniature stores as most will have extras for your army or alternatives to the normal Sister models. Feel free to uses these to further customise your army or create more unique characters (You can't play in GW stores but there are plenty of [[LGS]] out there so meh).

==The James Swallow books: SoBs can win too!==
[[File:Hammer-and-anvil.jpg|250px|thumb|left|Sister Miriya from Hammer & Anvil; yes, [[Black Library]] artists can draw pretty sisters too.]]
Among [[Black Library]], there are two books, specifically starring the Sisters, that are widely considered to be some the finest portrayals of SoBs in all of [[40K]] fluff. Both were authored by [[James Swallow]], who decided that Sisters needed some attention and got to work. The first, [http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/Faith-and-Fire.html Faith and Fire], has the Sisters battling with what are basically terrorist psykers on a shrine world while trying to uncover the reasons behind the attacks. Then there's the sequel, [http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/Hammer-and-Anvil.html Hammer and Anvil]. Remember reading about Sanctuary 101 up there? This book has them going back there and trying to figure out what happened. While saying too much would be spoiling it, it can be said that shit hits the fan hard and that the final battle is very epic stuff. Also, if you're feeling extra faithful, Swallow wrote an SoB audiobook called [http://www.blacklibrary.com/all-products/red-and-black-mp3.html Red and Black]. A prequel to Faith and Fire, it has the Sisters being sent to a recently rediscovered planet as representatives of the Imperium, and ultimately to judge it. Needless to say, things get complicated. Also features a Scottish SoB. So, you can help the Sisters by getting the above books so that [[Games Workshop]] and Black Library may decide to change their minds and give some love to these girls. Or at least give them some additional badass portrayals.

==Tactics==
The Sisters of Battle employ a costly yet simple tactic whenever they're called out for battle:

 1. Bring thousands of sexually deprived Sisters of Battle into the field.
 2.Arm them all with Melta and flame-based weapons. Small squads of Storm Bolters also encouraged.
 3.<s>Tell them they can shlick to the image of the Emperor if they triumph over the foul enemies of the Imperium.</s> {{BLAM|'''HERESY. *BLAM*'''}}
 4.Set them loose, hope you are not fighting slaaneshi cult, hope you're fighting Dark Eldar wyches (although they do seem to be doing that just fine in one of the artworks on this page).
 5.If they do win, all remaining Imperial troops, save for the SoBs, are ordered off the field.
 6.No other accounts can be heard of, as remembrancers and all other Imperial journalists are sworn to an oath of silence on whatever events transpired (one theory is it would look like a mix of "Soldier of Fortune" and "Girls Gone Wild")
 7.????
 8.Profit.

''(Yes we do have a real tactica, its [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Adeptus_Ministorum(8E)|here]].)''

==Notable Sororitas Characters==
{|align=center border="1" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0""
|-
|align=center|'''Name'''
|align=center|'''Order'''
|align=center|'''Description/Current Status'''
|align=center|'''Image'''
|align=center|'''Model'''
|-
|align=center|'''[[Canoness Veridyan]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|The canoness from the cover of the 2nd Edition codex. A steadfast, calculating woman who operates with a high degree of precision.
|align=center|[[Image:Veridyan Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|[[Image:Veridyan Model.jpg|150px|]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Ephrael Stern]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|Also known as the Thrice-Born and the Daemonifuge. A living weapon against Chaos with incredible psychic power, currently heading to the Black Library with an exiled Harlequin.
|align=center|[[Image:Ephrael Stern Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|[[Image:SternMini.JPG|150px|]] [[File:Ephrael Stern and Kyganil-2020.png|150px]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Miriael Sabathiel]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]] (formerly)
|align=center|Former Sister Superior of the Order of Our Martyred Lady and one of the very few Sisters who fell to Chaos (specifically, Slaanesh worship).
|align=center|[[Image:Miriael Sabathiel Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|None
|-
|align=center|'''[[Miriya]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|Celestian Superior of the Order of Our Martyred Lady and protagonist of Swallow's Sister of Battle books. Best known for her independent, headstrong attitude as well as her creative interpretation of orders. While this frequently gets her into trouble with her superiors, it also makes her uniquely qualified for handling situations that require quick action and outside-the-box thinking.
|align=center|[[Image:Mirya Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|None
|-
|align=center|'''[[Saint Celestine]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]] (formerly)
|align=center|A sister who became one of the most famous [[Living Saint|Living Saints]] in the Imperium. Best known for her angelic presence, relentless optimism, and resurrection
powers, the latter of which makes her nearly impossible to kill. <s>She's also heavily implied to be the Imperial equivalent of a [[daemon prince]]</s> {{BLAM}} {{BLAM|HERESY!}}
|align=center|[[Image:Celestine Portrait.jpg|150px|]]
|align=center|[[Image:Celestine 7e.jpg|150px|]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Canoness-Errant Setheno]]'''
|align=center|Order of Piercing Thorn (Minoris)
|align=center|After completely eradicating her own order on '''suspicion''' of corruption, she became Canoness-Errant, a vaguely defined position that involves a lot of asskicking.
Inquisitors wish they were as scary as her. Allied with the [[Black Dragons]] and [[Commissar Yarrick]]. Also she can apparently move fast enough to cut bolter fire, and block lasfire.
|align=center|None
|align=center|None
|-
|align=center|'''[[Saint Katherine]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of the Fiery Heart]]
|align=center|A living saint and whose death caused her order to rename themselves to the Order of Our Martyred Lady. Also, it's her armour and sword that are now wielded by Saint Celestine.
|align=center|None
|align=center|[[File:Sisters The Triumph of Saint Kathrine.jpg|150px]]
|-
|align=center|'''[[Canoness Superior Junith Eruita]]'''
|align=center|[[Sisters of Battle#Overview|Order of Our Martyred Lady]]
|align=center|A new Canoness revealed for the new SoB lineup. After the cathedral she was fighting in collapsed on her, [[Awesome|she punished the cathedral for trying to kill her]] by turning its unbroken pulpit into her personal weapons platform.
|align=center|None
|align=center|[[File:Sister JunithEruita.jpg|150px]]
|}

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Adeptus Ministorum (9E)|Tactica on how to play them.]]
*[[Sisters of Battle Order Creation Tables]]: Create your very own Order of pyromaniac nuns.
*[[Sisters of Sigmar]]: The Warhammer Fantasy equivalent
*[[Sisters of Silence]]: Not to be confused with Sisters of Battle.
*[[/tg/ Codex Supplement - Faith Militant]]: An [[Warhammer 40,000 8th edition|8th edition]] [[homebrew]] codex supplement for everyone's favorite Nuns With Guns. Includes new characters, frateris milita, flyers, customizable Living Saints, and much more!
*[[Sisters of Cleaning]]: a [[/tg/]] created order who put the "maid" in "battle maiden".
*[[The Times and Trials of Klightus]]: a love story about a shy [[Imperial Guard | Guardsman]] and a Sister of Battle.
*[[The Steadfast Pewter Sororitas]]: a sad story about what happens to those metal Sisters that don't get bought.
*[[Sister of Nurgle]]: An article riddled with the blessings of Nurgle and [[PROMOTIONS]].

===/tg/-Created Orders===
*[[Order Of The Anointed Arrow|Order of the Anointed Arrow]]: Divergent order of stealthy snipers who smite the enemies of Mankind with fuel-air explosives, laden with the ashes of martyrs. Also loves telling war stories.
*[[Order Of The Armoured Heart|Order of the Armoured Heart]]: Melee specialists who wear specially constructed strength-enhancing carapace armor instead of power armor.
*[[Order of the Blinded Martyr]]: Proud warriors who believe the Sororitas should be excellent soldiers first and foremost. They kick a lot of ass, but also have a bad habit of not retreating when they should, which has brought them to the brink of extinction.
*[[Order of the Guiding Light]]: Defenders of the solar archeotech on the planet Pasiphae alongside their [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Cult Mechanicus]] allies. Sworn enemies of Tzeentch and his minions who seek to take the world for [[Just as planned|probably nefarious purposes]].
*[[Order of the Martyred Heart]]: Aztec-themed sisters who utilize holy blood rituals to empower their warriors with the [[The Emperor|Sun-Emperor's]] might. Close allies with the [[Blood Jaguars]] space marine chapter.
*[[Order of the Obsidian Mirror]]: A rare fusion of an order dialogus and an order militant, the sisters of the Obsidian Mirror are experts in covert and psychological warfare who wage a deadly secret war throughout the Ultima Segmentum.
*[[Order of the Pointed Word]]: Guardians of the vital trade world of Dar-al-Rashid who prize wisdom and intellect above all. The sisters of the Pointed Word are master strategists who utilize a highly mobile form of warfare to secure victory.
*[[Order of the Waning Dawn]]: [[Nazi|Genetic purists]] who hate the mutant and the alien even more than most Sisters of Battle. Rather than having a homeworld, they're based out of a warp-capable space fortress called the Fist of Purity. Currently engaged in a brutal four-way war on the [[Black Sentinels]] recruiting world of Derosk XII against [[Tau Empire|T'au]], [[Ork]], and [[Dark Eldar]] forces.

==External Links==
*[http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1426730/ suptg archive about Sisters of Battle and pedophilia].
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHuNbWMBAeA FOR THE IMPERIUM! ''Hey, there's no rule saying that warrior space nuns can't be badass.'']
*[https://www.sendspace.com/file/8zykal Rules & Summary for Codex: Adepta Sororitas, for those who do not like the clusterfuck 7e digital codex.]
*[https://youtu.be/__GHpmdmJu0/ They can also sing!].

==Gallery==

===General===
<center>
<gallery>
AdSor.jpg|Scourge and Purge!
16 bit Battle Sisters SteelJoe.gif|The Action-Girls of 40k (Animated!)
Nun n' Gun.jpg|What? U MAD [[Space Marines|SPESS MAHREEN?]]
Sister of D'awwwww.jpg|They aren't actually this cute. -But they should be.-
But That's Heresy.jpg|But whatever it is, it's probably worth it. Maybe.
Sororit as planned.jpg| The rape face you know you love.
Pedo Sisters.jpg
NoiseMarine SoB.jpg | [[Rape|We all know how this is going to end.]]
MujuLolcron.jpg|Love Can Bl-- wait.
Sororitas.png
Ephrael_stern_page29.jpg|There was a sister in the [[Lost Worlds]] battlebook series.
1290509755821.jpg|Can't read my, Can't read my, No he cannot read my Purging Face (She's got no one to spare)
Sistersnslaanesh.jpg| Incompetent Inquisitor is incompetent (Hey, we know he did that on purpose).
1269678816033.jpg|dum dum dum... dummmm
1228253984074.jpg|OMNOMNOMNOM
1230052783344.png|Post whenever you need to make a fa/tg/uy rage that he doesn't understand the role and jurisdiction of Commissars.
Peachsororitas.jpg|Sorry Mario, but your Heresy is in another castle
Games Workshop Hates France.jpeg|This is rain.
File:Part Deux.jpg|2019. The year [[Warhammer fantasy|everybody]] [[Bretonnia|came back]].
1232217288173.jpg
LolimoNsis.png
B0018254_4897156440df9.jpg|Grimdark meets [[Hot Chicks]].
1227858843066.jpg|Sisters love delicious xeno shota.
Sororita_change_poster.png|Yes We Can
Nagasister_of_battle.jpg|Are we this desperate for recruits?
Haters.png|Haters gonna BURN in 2019!
Sistersuperior.jpg
1335738154693.jpg
SisterShy.jpg|You don't want to see her tsun side.
Notsureheresy.jpg
Heretic%3F_Colored.jpg|Better purge them anyway...
SisterCheer.jpg|<s>NO THATS STUPID NO NO NO.</s> Let's face it, being a bunch of glorified cheerleaders isn't that far off the mark nowadays...
Sisterweeaboo.jpg
Pyschosister.jpg|[[Awesome|Problems heretics?]]
ChaosCookies.png|Just as planned.
BurnHereticsBurn.jpg|Heretics gunna get burned.
SororitaInquisitorIsntHome.jpg|When the Inquisitor's away, the Sisters will play...
Sisters of repentia sisters of battle Adepta Sororitas rule 34 montage can't believe how hard fetish rule 34 Warhammer 40k myoc redux.jpg|As hilarious as it is to picture a bunch of semi-nude nuns bull rushing a carnifex or a baneblade through a hail of gunfire, it's also weirdly sexy. Behold, the [[Sisters Repentia]].
Sororitastakeabreak.png|What the Sisters were reduced to until 2019.
Remember.jpg|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smqK5cHSxMA Remember]
</gallery>
</center>

===Cosplay===
<center>
<gallery>
FB IMG 15951165224041649.jpg
FB IMG 15951165162181028.jpg
FB IMG 15951165057975486.jpg
FB IMG 15951164971844193.jpg
FB IMG 15951164872150272.jpg
FB IMG 15951164808935110.jpg
Sororita cosplay7.jpg
SororitaAsianCosplay.jpg|Sister Shoju
Sororita_cosplay4.jpg
Repentia_+_bolter_bitches.jpg|The [[China|Chinese]] are beating us to the punch.
Sis.jpg
Celestine Cosplay.jpg|Sweet Emprah!
SoB Cosplay.jpg
SoB Cosplay 2.jpg|Scarred sisters are best sisters
SoB Cosplay 3.jpg
Shenzi sob warhammer 77 by cynshenzi-dalqqbb.jpg
1518145539057.png
1468433605143314511.jpg
1514910964169599531.jpg
SoB Cosplay 4.jpg
SoB Cosplay 5.jpg
1522066264701.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

===New Models===
<center>
<gallery>
File:Battle sister 1.jpg|The new Battle Sisters, with their badass helmets.
File:Nova-Sob-Seraphim.jpg
File:Sister Celestial.jpg|Celestials, Dominions and battle sisters all share the same kit now.
File:Sister Dominion.jpg|"Hellraiser! In the thunder and heat!"
File:Sister Retributors.png|New Retributors.... just put some helmets on them and it will all be kosher. (That 5 o'clock shadow tho...)
File:Sister Dialogous.jpg|New Dialogous.
File:Sister MultiCannoness.jpg|A character kit with options? What year is it?
File:Sisters Repentia.jpg|The new Repentia. The most [[Skub]] causing models of the entire range.
File:Sister Hospitiler.jpg
File:Sister Imagifier.jpg|"You brought a flag? That's cute"
File:Sister Zephyrim.png|
File:BSB Rhino.jpg|Look! Rhinos! RHINOS! The sisters hide in METAL BAWKSES, DA KOWARDZ! TEH FEWLZ!!
File:Sister Exorcist.jpg|The next song is titled "Get Fucked".
File:Sister Immolator.jpg|BEHOLD THE IMMOLATOR!
File:Nova-SoB-Pentient.jpg|The Pentient engine lost weight.... and a few inches in height.
File:Sisters Mortifier.jpg|A new variant of pentient engine, called a Mortifier.
File:New Damien 1427.png|New Arco-Flagellants, and a returning face.
File:Sister Battle Sanctum.png|And it wouldn't be an 8th edition update without a building.
</gallery>
</center>

===Emblems===
<center>
<gallery>
OrderOfOurMartyredLadyEmblem.jpg|Our Martyred Lady
OrderOfTheArgentShroudEmblem.jpg|Argent Shroud
OrderOfTheBloodyRoseEmblem.jpg|Bloody Rose
OrderOfTheEbonChaliceEmblem.jpg|Ebon Chalice
OrderOfTheSacredRoseEmblem.jpg|Sacred Rose
OrderOfTheValorousHeartEmblem.jpg|Valorous Heart
</gallery>
</center>

===PROMOTIONS===
 
{{Promotions}}
 
<center>
<gallery>

Canoness femdom.jpg|Goddamn fetishists... '''Ohoho!''' The [[Slaanesh|glorious satin throne]] is telling me '''someone''' is feeling a little butthurt! Speaking of which I'm late for my [[Rape|lunchtime appoin-]]{{BLAM|}} {{BLAM|Filthy Slaanesh worshipper!}}
Sistergangbang.png|There are not too many men (not counting old priests) in Adepta Sororitas so they have to improvise.
Strip_hammer_commission_for_propertyoflamb_by_hotgum-dagtqp6.jpg|What happens when a Battle Sister, a Repentia, a Hospitaller and a Living Saint decide they need to make a little cash?
R-daemonette 10.jpg |evidence that slaneesh can corrupt sisters of battle
Repentia_1.jpg|Sisters Repentia are supposed to repent. Stop whinging you know we know that you like this more.
FIGHTBYMYSIDE.jpg| An imperial artist's representation of a living saint.
1230051355300.gif|GENESTEALERS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. <s>-But they should-</s> NO THEY SHOULDN'T, YOU SICK [[Slaanesh|PERV]].
Sister reading heretical text by Naga.gif
1233114472588.png|Unlike other settings, in 40k this kind of thing DOESN'T work. Still kinda hot though.
Sororitas strawberries.jpg
Sisters.jpg
1228252747952.jpg|Cum my sisters!
Repentia_2.jpg|Not that they are fanatical about it.
sister_n_slaaneshi.jpg|Sister in ''deep'' trouble.
2nhnnlh.jpg|The lesser known loli chapter.
X6eb14.jpg|More loli.
SistervsLeviathan.jpg|OMNOMNOMNOM
Sororita_by_ipheli-d9mzze4.png|Sister Temeraire at rest
Sororita_2_rest_by_ipheli-damic1m.png|Interesting place for your devotional tattoo...
Saint celestine and the geminae superia by sexual yeti-dat6rd3.png|Sexy Celestine
91a96fb85899c260cb028d6ac34603b6.jpg
ToTheEnd.jpg|To the end...
</gallery>
</center>

==Navigation==
{{Sororitas-Characters}}
{{Sisters-of-Battle}}
{{Sisters-Orders}}
{{Imperium}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]
[[category:Imperial]]
[[Category:Matt Ward]]
[[Category:Sisters of Battle]]

Lolicron

2020-09-21T11:23:20Z

2001:67C:2660:425:23:0:0:170:

{{Promotions}}
[[Image:Lolicron01.jpg|thumb|right|Her first rendition.]][[Image:Lolicron05.jpg|Lolcron and Lolicron - know the difference!|thumb]] What do you get when /tg/ combines [[Drawfag|drawfaggotry]], [[Grimdark]], [[DFC|dawww]], and [[Loli]]? '''Lolicron'''!!! She is the embodiment of many things /tg/ loves and, as such, became [[/tg/|/tg/'s]] next [[Cultist-chan|obsession]]. Apparently, her real name is Catherine. Or Cathy.

Warning: though she is millions of years old, she's still [[HERESY|barely legal]]. But barely legal is legal enough!

==Board Origins==
During a thread in early May 2009, an anon posted an image drawn by [[Drawfag|Lolcron]]. Unfortunately, he mistook his name for "Lolicron" (which appeared to be a play on [[lolicon]]). At first it seemed to be just an unusually lulzy mistake. Inevitably though, /tg/ cried out to the drawfags to make it happen. Thank the Emperor their cries didn't go unanswered.

==Family==
In June 2009, the drawfag WCKD blessed Lolicron with a family, namely [[Papalith]] and [[Heavy-chan]].

==SHE COMES==
As of 2018 she's had [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJL70Lvt8OI a wildly successful singing career,] with the single ''Anew''.

==Gallery==
A suprising amount of [[Drawfag|Jo]] here.

<center><gallery>

Image:Lolicron02.jpg|In a world of crapsack, a rare daaaw.
Image:Lolicron03.jpg|A different interpretation.
Image:Lolicron11.png|Aww, look at how much fun she's having with this Eldar guy. Oh, wait...
Image:Cutseycron.png
Image:Lolicron04a.jpg|Oh, calm down. Like the Tyranids care about consent laws.
Image:Lolicron04b.png|As usual, the internet is way ahead of your imagination.
Image:Lolicron06.png|Well, not in some countries, it doesn't.
Image:Lolicron07.jpg
Image:Lolicron08.jpg
Image:Lolicron10.jpg
Image:Lolicron09.jpg|Starting to look more like Moecron.
File:FUCK.jpg|Friends forever.
Image:Necron_by_Android_Arts.jpg|Gaussslinger Girl
Image:Lolicron06.gif
</gallery></center>

[[Category:Necrons]]
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]
[[Category:NSFW]]
[[Category:Loli]]

Loli Daemonette

2020-09-21T11:22:00Z

2001:67C:2660:425:23:0:0:170:

{{Promotions}}
{{heresy}}
[[Image:Loli D.png|thumb|right]]'''Loli Daemonette''', commonly shortened to '''Loli D.''', is the name given to a [[Slaanesh]]i [[daemonette]]. Who is a [[loli]]. Original, we know, oh yes, and enjoys molesting and generally mistreating her sister.

The term is also used for daemons dedicated to other [[Chaos Gods]], but Slaanesh is the only god to employ daemoettes in a prepubescent female shape. Nurgle's daemonettes in particular seem 16-18 years old, either because Papa Nurgle would rather not encourage paedophilia among his followers, or because he can't tell the difference between prepubescent children and blobs of embryo and placenta.
:''Pfft, now that [[Malal]] is weaseling his way back into the canon, you might as well make some daemonettes for him if you're gonna do it for Khorne. Don't forget the black makeup and razorblades though.

==Gallery (of Slaaneshi Loli D)==
<center><gallery>
Image:Loli-daemonette_(14).png
Image:Loli D Commissar.png|Lack of Heresy? blam! (tee-hee)
Image:1197602511621.jpg|lucky loli stars
Image:1190309886953.jpg|Loli D and her boyfriend [[Kharn]]
Image:Loli-demon1.jpg
Image:Loli-demon2.jpg
Image:Loli-demon3.jpg
Image:Loli-demon4.jpg
Image:LoliD Molestan Sister.png
Image:Loli-daemonette_(18).png|She does look good in it though.
Image:Loli-daemonette_(1).png
Image:Loli-daemonette_(2).png
Image:Loli-daemonette_(3).png
Image:Loli-daemonette_(6).png
Image:Loli-daemonette_(8).png
Image:LolimonetteNdaemonette2.png|Rule'd
Image:Loli-daemonette_(9).jpg|Yeah. She told me that too. But did cops believe it? Nope.
Image:Loli-daemonette(22).jpg
Image:Loli-daemonette(24).jpg
Image:Loli-daemonette(25).png
Image:LolimonetteNdaemonette.png
Image:Loli-daemonette_(18).jpg|Tzeentch changed the loli to see what she'd look like as an adult. Sad Khârn is sad.
Image:Loli-daemonette(23).jpg
</gallery></center>

==Gallery for the other Chaos Gods==
<center><gallery>
Image:Loli-daemonette_(10).jpg|It's not what you think though. The Khorne Loli Ds get wet at the thought of kicking PrettyMarine ass.
Image:Loli-daemonette_(17).jpg|Khornettes are also called "bloodletter-chan".
Image:khornette2.png
Image:khornette3.png
Image:Khornette.jpg

Image:Khornette_mounted.jpg|"Can I borrow the car, dad?"
Image:Loli-daemonette_(16).png|"St-stupid Pretty Marine, it's not as if I like you or anything..."
Image:Loli-daemonette_(13).png
Image:Loli-daemonette_(15).jpg|Pedos are so easy to manipulate.

Image:Loli-daemonette_(11).jpg
Image:Loli-daemonette_(12).jpg|working up a swea-- OH GOD WHAT IS THAT STENCH?
Image:Loli-daemonette_(4).png|She's younger than she looks, but she's got more diseases than a 70-year old whore.
Image:Loli-daemonette_(5).jpg

Image:Loli-daemonette_18.png|Don't hug her too tightly, those buboes are ready to erupt
Image:LoliTzeenette.png
Image:Malalette.png|The newest addition to the gaggle, as well as the... oldest? What's this hag doing here!?
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[[Category:Chaos]][[Category:Daemons]][[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Loli]]