2d4chan - User contributions [en]

Storm Speeder

2023-05-05T05:18:08Z

2001:8003:1C20:8C00:75C9:5831:1D18:31C6:

{{topquote|I CANNOT HEAR YOU BROTHERS, I HAVE TINITUS!| [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gc_Uwlz50Y8/ Brother Dantius]]}}

{{topquote|[[Apollo Diomedes|BRUVA! MY NECK IS PINNED HERE!]]|Diomedes after going on a joy ride with [[Cyrus]] and [[Davian Thule|Thule]] in one of these things.}}

The [[Primaris Space Marines]] finally got their first flyer model which is basically a [[Land Speeder]] but all [[Musclegirl|jacked up.]] According to recent fluff these flying [[METAL BOXES]] come courtesy of [[Belisarius Cawl]] who figured out how to boost the output of the anti-grav systems of the regular Land Speeder enough to allow more armor and weapons on the craft without slowing it down. Suffice to say, the design of this thing has been...''interesting'' to say the least. With a half-dozen memes immediately spawning from its...odd placement of the gunner's seat. You see, rather than having a simple targeting computer, the main guns of the Storm Speeder is operated by a gunner, [[Derp|who just so happens to have his head exposed in-between the weapon system.]] Similarly to the [[Invader ATV]], deaf jokes has been made at the gunner's expense, with many in [[/tg/]] mocking the design by stating that the gunner gets immediate invuln save from [[Sonic Weaponry|Sonic Weapons]]. And that's not to mention that two of the three variants are exposing him to the backblast of their rockets once they're out of the tubes. It also looks like even more of a [[METAL BOXES|flying METHUL BAWKS]] than the normal Land Speeder, although this is the ''least'' of its design flaws. The Storm Speeder comes in three variant to serve the three food groups of armor, fliers, and hordes.

In terms of its hull and movement stats. With a move of 16” it’s slightly slower than a bare-bones Land Speeder. Although it has a decent WS and BS of 3+ and a solid Toughness of 6. It only has 10 Wounds with a pretty meh Ld of 7. So a dedicated anti-air platform or a sharpshooter can bring this thing down pretty quickly. Moreover, its Strength of 5 really hammers (Ha!) home that it should stay clear from Dreadnought-equivalents. At the very least it retains the pretty sweet 3+ Sv.

If you think the insane gunner spot is immersion breaking, shut it off and replace it with a hatch and pretend that the guy on the side of the driver is firing. Or pretend that a spare helmet is placed there as a sucker for enemy sharpshooters. Or that marine's helmet can filter out deafening gunner noise with Titan-grade earmuffs.

== Variants ==

=== Hammerstrike ===

[[File:SS_Hammerstrike.JPG|300px|right|thumb|BRUVA! I THINK MY EARDRUMS JUST RECEIVED 3 MORTAL WOUNDS!]]
The first variant with proper rules.

The Hammerstrike is named after its weapon, the [[Hammerstrike Missile Launcher|Hammerstrike Missile Launcher,]] which is a predominantly an anti-armour weapon system meant to hunt down enemy armour. In simple layman's term, it is an attack aircraft or a dedicated flying tank destroyer.

Its profile matches its description. The Hammerstrike Missile Launcher is a Heavy 2 anti-tank ordnance that hits with S8 and AP-3, dealing 3 Damage per shot. Its 36" range gives it enough distance to soften any tank in its way whilst its hull-mounted 24" range [[Melta#Melta Destroyer|Melta Destroyer]] deals the finishing blow with S8, AP-4 and, with the new upgraded Melta rules of D6+2 at half-range ([[Awesome|This means that it is dealing at minimum, 3 wounds per shot!]] [[Rape|Holy shit! Say goodbye to MEQs!]]). It also has a [[Krakstorm Grenade Launcher]], but this should be reserved for TEQs and the like.

[[Tl;dr]], this Vehicle moves more than half the distance and has almost more firepower than a [[Predator Annihilator]]. If you happen to want a Predator for that purpose but have filled your heavy slots already, you will certainly be well served taking this unit in its place. In a pinch it might even serve as a TEQ hunter.
{{Clear}}

=== Thunderstrike ===

[[File:SS_Thunderstrike.JPG|300px|right|thumb|BY THE EMPEROR! I HAVE TO ROTATE MY WHOLE BODY TO SHOOT THAT AIRCRAFT RIGHT NEXT TO ME!]]
Unlike the Hammerstrike, which goes for relatively close-ranged anti-tank purposes. The Thunderstrike is an air-superiority aircraft that is equipped with much longer-ranged weaponry.

In contrast to the Hammerstrike, the Thunderstrike is armed primarily with a anti-aircraft weapon (specifically, the [[Icarus Rocket Pod]]s). Moreover, it replaces the hull-mounted [[Melta Destroyer]] with a [[Lascannon]], allowing for pin-point shots at long-ranges against enemy aircraft. Aiming with the Lascannon and Missile Lancher is assisted with two targeting computers, which has largely replaced the [[Krakstorm Grenade Launcher]].

Crunchwise, it is anti-aircraft variant but also does very well against terrestrial Infantry and Vehicles. Has a base BS of 2+ thanks to the targeting computers, unlike the other Storm Speeders. Stormfury missiles (48", heavy 1, S10, AP-3, Dd6), thunderstrike las-talon (36", heavy 2, S9, AP-3, Dd6), and a turreted twin icarus rocket pod (24", heavy 2d3, S7, AP-1, D2, blast and gains +1 to hit Aircraft units). Can multi-task at attacking mobs and tanks or focus down flyers.

{{Clear}}

=== Hailstrike ===

[[File:SS_Hailstrike.JPG|300px|right|thumb|WHAT BROTHER! I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER MY LEAKING BRAIN FLUID!]]
The anti-infantry variant of the Storm Speeder and the most [[Dakka]] of them all.

The Hailstrike replaces the Missile Launchers with a twin-linked [[Heavy Stubber]] (Which looks suspiciously like the [[Ironhail Skytalon Array]]). Moreover, instead of a hull-mounted [[Melta Destroyer]], the Hailstrike instead, have a [[Onslaught Gatling Cannon]] to BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTT the enemies of men into a fine, pink mist. To further amp up its anti-horde role, it replaces the two [[Krakstorm Grenade Launcher]] with [[Fragstorm Grenade Launcher|Fragstorms]] instead, so if you wanna do a mini-carpet bomb, there's your chance.

This model in particular gained instant mockery from the fa/tg/uys for its absurdly small ammo supply for the stubbers. Seriously, look at those fucking things, they carry maybe twenty shots.

In 9th Edition, the Hailstrike is heavily armed with anti-Infantry weaponry, likely to eliminate a platoon of Guardsmen or Tyranids that think they're safe behind obscuring terrain. Two fragstorm launchers (18", assault d6, S4, AP0, D1, blast), an onslaught gatling cannon (24", heavy 8, S5, AP-1, D1), and twin ironhail stubber (36", heavy 8, S4, AP-1, D1). The cheapest of the bunch, and competes with the Invader ATV. This vehicle has an edge in durability and firepower.

{{Clear}}

== Gallery ==

<gallery>

File:Taptbi94vrm51.png|

File:Fl2gjjf1bqm51.jpg|Health insurance is for the weak!

File:H8hhaw1.jpg|Roll a 4+ to negate Sonic attacks.

File:Krfwvd1o9rm51.png|[[Belisarius Cawl|Uncle Cawl]] is nothing but ambitious...

</gallery>

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Imperial]]

[[Category: Space Marines]]

[[Category: Primaris Marines]]

[[Category: Vehicles]]

[[Category: Skimmers]]

{{Primaris Marine-Forces}}

{{40k-Imperial-Vehicles}}

Historical Empires

2023-05-05T03:12:37Z

2001:8003:1C20:8C00:75C9:5831:1D18:31C6: /* Modern Period */

{{Cleanup}}

The common definition of an empire, as opposed to a kingdom, is that a commonly but not always divinely-ordained Emperor rules over subjects of multiple cultures, races, and/or religions. '''''Empire''''' is derived from the Latin word '''Imperium''', which means "authority" and more specifically the authority to command numerous Roman legions.

=What does this have to do with /tg/?=

Historical empires are a commonly-referenced source for fantasy and sci-fi cultures. For example, the Holy Roman Empire had a lot of influence on the design of the Empire of Warhammer Fantasy Battles. Most roleplaying settings feature big, huge empires based on historical empires or the decaying remnants of such. And empires are common window dressing for board games like Twilight Imperium. Empires give you more options than typically smaller, more parochial kingdoms.

=Notable Historical Empires=
Not an exhaustive list, though there are relatively few empires compared to kingdoms in history due to the size and demands of maintaining one.

==Ancient==
Empires first emerged as the economic and agricultural needs of individual city-states outgrew the palace economy they had hitherto relied upon and priest-kings began to covet the lands and wealth of their neighbors.

*'''Akkadian Empire''' ''(circa 2234-2154 BC)'': The oldest known empire in human history, arising in the Fertile Crescent in northern Mesopotamia. Arose when Sargon of Akkad conquered the cities of the Sumerian civilization and then conquered its neighbors and subjugated their kings.
*'''Neo-Assyrian Empire''' ''(911 BC–612 BC)'': An empire which had in its foundation a belief that if their army ever lost a battle, the world would end. Unsurprisingly, it lasted until slightly after they lost their first major battle.
*'''Egyptian Empire''': Depending on your definition, one could define it as starting with the Old Kingdom unifying the Egyptian city-states until the fall of Ptolemaic Egypt to the Roman Empire. Mind you, the civilization is not the Empire. For details, please consult relevant professionals and their works instead of a wiki for tactical genius.
*'''Achaemenid Empire''' ''(550–330 BC)'': Most famous for being conquered by Alexander and, along with Egypt, providing visual inspiration for the [[Thousand Sons]]. Infamous for how they're depicted in the [[/pol/|oil-slicked fantasy epic]] that is 300, the Persian Empire was not, in fact, a highly decadent empire of monsters and evil god-kings; only a regularly decadent empire that was actually quite lenient for empires of the time - Slaves were outlawed among Persians (but not their subjects), and slaves had more rights than usual; women could own businesses and they were very off-hand in their dealings with their vassal kingdoms. It was still a militaristic empire, mind, but they were not some evil eastern "other" for the Greeks to defeat - in fact, the "Greeks" did not exist yet! The people that would become the Greeks were as different culturally from each other as they were from the Persians, and many even saw the Persians as closer to them culturally than some of the other city states! Why was that? Well, a good number of Greek city-states (particularly the ones in Anatolia or very close to it) had had years of either being tributary to the Persians or had incredibly good trade relations with them.
*'''[[China|Chinese Empire]]''' ''(221 BC-Present)'': Though already unified under a king as late as 841 BC (re-dating based on astronomy ''claims'' to trace further exact years way into 2100BC and there is evidence of complex agrarian civilization going back well before that), the Chinese did not live under an Emperor until 221BC. They survived interim catastrophes by coming up with the Mandate of Heaven (if the dynasty turns into a bunch of idiots then your local emperor definitely isn't favored by the gods and every peasant can hang them off), their equivalent of a common law, in the Zhou (not empire), and enhanced social mobility with a general disregard in right of blood (began in the Qin(Chin), first empire) and the test system for enlisting government officials (began in the Sui, some 600 years later). Lasted until the fall of the Qing Dynasty in the early 20th century, after the European imperialist ambitions exploited the hell out of the Chinese state and societal structures being essentially the same for almost 3000 (yes, really) years (and also these 3000 years of prevailing against all odds made the Chinese aristocracy complacent to such an extent that the Russian nobles the Soviets had shot looked progressive by comparison). Resurgent, you may say.
*'''"Greek Empires"''' ''(Ipsum Lorem)'': More or less just Sparta and Athens. Athens was a naval power that dominated after the Persian Wars and formed a "league" that roughly amounted to an Empire. Got roflstomped by the Spartans who formed their own "league" that resulted in them becoming an empire to replace Athens, until everything devolved back into city state violence until this nerd named Alexander showed up.
*'''Macedonian Empire''' ''(330-323 BC)'': One of the largest Empires in ancient history, created by Alexander the Great. Conquered Persia, the largest Empire in history at the time. Shortly after the empire achieved its height, Alexander died at only 32 years old and his Empire was split into several smaller countries such as Seleucid Empire and Ptolemaic Kingdom, ruled by dynasties started by his generals, called Diadochi.
**'''Seleucid Empire''' ''(323-63 BC)'': The only one of the Diadochi Kingdoms to be called an Empire. By far the largest of the Diadochi Kingdoms, it stretched at its largest extent from western Anatolia all the way into modern Pakistan, although that period didn't last very long. In spite of the difficulties of managing a realm of such a size, they stuck around for a very long, because of a whole couple of clever alliances struck with proto-Indians and the gradual assimilation of its Persian populace. Its strength started to vain in the middle of the 2nd century BC when a couple of political intrigues messed up the day of the ruling dynasties as well as the the constant warring with Ptolemaic Egypt in Syria and modern-day Israel and the somewhat-resurgent Greek states in the west. Its final demise came at the hand of the Romans, when Pompeius dismantled the remainders of the Seleucid Empire in Antioch in 63 BC.
*'''[[Roman Empire]]''' ''(27 BC – 476 AD (Western)/1453 AD (Eastern)/1475 AD (Trebizond))'': The codifier for <s>fictional</s> empires everywhere, and (through borrowing/stealing Greek technology) largely blamed for turning Europe from a backwater land of barbarians into the home of the most ambitious superpowers in history. Has lots, and I mean LOTS, of successors whether it be the directly-descended Spanish and French Empires, or the more-religiously-oriented Roman Catholic Church, et cetera. Roma Invicta.
**'''Byzantine Empire''' ''(395-1453 AD)'': Originally the chopped off eastern half of the Imperium Romanum with Greece, Egypt and Anatolia as its most important core territories. It came into being when the last Emperor of both halves of the Roman Empire, Emperor Theodosius, made Constantinople his permanent residence and gave the leadership over the Empire to his two sons, Honorius and Arcadius. The Eastern Empire survived the cataclysmic events of the Migration Period (not in small part due to generous bribes to the Huns and throwing the western half under the bus) much longer than its western cousins did and even enjoyed a long period of relative peace between 400 and 503, during which time the East Roman Emperors consolidated their Empire and greatly strengthened its civil institutions. The first major points of its eventual demise came at the hands of the Seljuk Turks and Mamelukes, who conquered Egypt and all of the Empires holdings in Anatolia as well as the sack of Constantinople by Crusaders in 1204. After the sacking of its capital, the Empire only persisted as merely a rump state with holding in Thrace and Greece and saw its ultimate end when the attempt of the Polish King Wladyslaw to save Constantinople from the Ottomans failed at the Battle of Varna in 1444 and the city subsequently was conquered in 1453.

==Medieval==
Many medieval empires that are known to fa/tg/uys claimed legitimacy, in some way or another, from the Roman Empire. Even the Ottoman sultans claimed to be Kayser-i-Rum, or Caesar of Rome. New World empires, obviously, did not, and most Asian empires embraced the trappings, if not the lineage, of the Chinese Empire. The great empires of the ancient period thus laid the foundation for the creation and culture of many modern nation-states through the transmission of medieval successors.

*'''The Holy Roman Empire''' ''(962–1806)'': Sometimes called the [http://europeanhistory.about.com/cs/germany/a/Otherreichs.htm first Reich]. Started as a powerful medieval state, but ever since the beginning of [[High Middle Ages]] started to devolve into something "neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire." (Voltaire) So complex that its easier to explain what it was not than what it was. If you know how the [[Empire]]'s politics works, that's the HRE in a nutshell. In essence, the HRE was more of a loosely-connected confederation of innumerable fiefdoms, counties and kingdoms (over 300 by the late 1600s) formally unified under the leadership of the Romano-German Emperors. Its political power in Europe rested entirely on the willingness and ability of the current Emperor to keep his underlings in line, but by the 1300s the Emperor's authority began to crumble and was completely gone when the Thirty-Years-War (1618-1648) ravaged a third of its population and foreign powers (mainly France, Prussia and Sweden) started to chip away at its territory. Saw its ultimate end when Napoleon defeated the Prussians and the Austrians in short succession, prompting the major dukedoms that were still left to formally leave the Empire, and the Habsburg Emperor Joseph II abdicated the imperial crown in 1806. Luckily, the Hapsburgs had installed a backup empire, the Austro-Hungarian Empire, meaning they retained the title of Emperor even when the HRE dissolved.
**Named "The Holy Roman Empire" because the Pope of the day went around baiting kings with religious recognition to earn more loyalty from the brainwashed, god-fearing masses. The Pope did this because, after seceding from the Roman Empire ruling in the east and declaring its independence from the Emperor-dominated Orthodox Church papacy, the Roman Catholic Church needed to sponsor a Roman Emperor of their own.
**Was preceded by the '''Carolingian Empire''' that lasted for about eight decades until it was partitioned into three successor kingdoms. One got split and merged in between its siblings, the other of which would evolve into the Holy Roman Empire, and the last one into the Kingdom of France; thus laying the groundwork for the greatest Hatfield-McCoy feud in history. The Ottonian House that founded the HRE liked to claim descent from the Carolingian House and Charlemagne as a result.
**Note that the Byzantines in the East also laid claim to the title of Roman Emperor and occasionally acknowledged the Holy Roman Emperors as their equals. This was a pretty messy period though and a detailed explanation would require a full article of its own.
**As to the frequent asked question why there were so goddamn many states on the territories that up the HRE, one needs to look at German inheritance custom, which survives to this day. It was the normal custom for each son of a noble family to inherit a piece of the realm after the previous ruler's death and found their own little dukedoms, especially if the sons couldn't agree on who got what. Add to that an incomprehensibly complicated net of political marriages with the addition of bishoprics which were issued by the Vatican and free cities (plus a number of other miniscule imperial territories like the "Imperial valley of Zell) and you get a clusterfuck of fractured territories that were constantly at each others throats and only banded together when the perfidious French tried something.
*'''Ummayyad Caliphate''' ''(661-750)'': The Largest of the four classical caliphates established after the death of Muhammad.It's borders stretched from Northern Spain to Pakistan. Overthrew the last Rashidun ("Rightly-Guided") Caliph Ali in order to gain power. At it's apex, it was one of the mightiest empires the world had ever seen and cemented Islam's new role as a religion of caliphs and kings. When one thinks of the Islamic Golden Age, it's either these guys or the dudes that took them down, the Abbassids. The Ummayyad's were rebels who promoted an early form of Arab nationalism throughout the Islamic World, as well as shifting the role of the Caliph from an elected position to a hereditary one. Eventually, their rampant Arab nationalism would get them overthrown by the Abbassids and the last remaining heir fled to Muslim Iberia, where they established the Emirate of Cordoba
*'''Abbasid Caliphate''' ''(750-1258)'': A caliphate born in a revolution against the Umayyads, the Abbasids are what you think of when you think of the Arabian Nights. Opulent cities glistening with the fruits of empire, [[Dark Eldar|crafty viziers who hide behind puppet sultans]], and all the glories of Baghdad in it's prime. Notable achievements include the many inventions and advancements of the Islamic Golden Age, Dominating the Mediterranean (Just look at Sicily), and battling the Chinese Tang Dynasty for control of Central Asia. Unfortunately with the coming of the Seljuk Turks, their hegemony would shatter and eventually their dynasty would become nothing more than a line of puppet kings hiding out in Mamluk Egypt.
*'''Ethiopian Empire''' ''(1137-1935/1941-1974)'': an empire of Africans, and one of the only two African nations to remain independent of the West, depending on your view of Liberia. Also used to have Judaism as the official religion and then switched to its own version of Christianity. Its last Emperor, Haile Selassie, was revered by a religious movement as [[God-Emperor of Mankind|God incarnate (which, notably, he neither started nor approved of)]].
*'''Portuguese Empire''' ''(1139-1975)'': The lesser Iberian empire that liked keeping their maritime maps secret, becoming the first global empire in the world. Notable for the founding of Nagasaki, moving their capital and court to Brazil to escape Napoleon, and coming back from the brink of dissolution three times. Also, their nicknames, Portugal Overseas: [[Ultramar]] Português or the Império [[Ultramarines|Ultramarino]] Português has something to do with some smurfs made by a [[GW|British company of Grimdark]]. Due to [[Inquisition|secrecy]], nobody has found the old Portuguese royal sea route maps.
*'''Mongolian Empire''' ''(1206–1368 AD)'': '''The Empire made from Empires.''' Your stereotypical savage-nomad-kill-burn-kill-maim-burn empire. But only because they liked their reputation to precede them and do the conquering without the bloodshed and the damage to their soon-to-be territories. Was more civilized than Alexander the Great and their empire lasted even longer than his when you think about it. The empires they conquered were actually at THEIR golden ages too, like the Khwarazm and Song (China).
**Like Romans, once a people surrendered, they welcomed scholars and engineers with their new ideas, especially that of war, and they went from steppe cavalry with arrows to heavily armored cavalry with horse trains, gunpowder, and siege weapons. Religiously tolerant/gave no shits. Built a lot of bridges and blazed a lot of trade routes. Remember Marco Polo was writing about their empire. Put the Four Khanates and the conquered China (Yuan) together, and lol, the second largest human empire, ever, at 88% the size of the British one. Mind you, the Mongol Empire was ''continuous'', though, unlike the British Empire with isolated territories and islands. But the British are a seafaring empire, so there's that.
**Through the 4 sons of Genghis Khan, was the progenitor of other vast, mostly Muslim, empires. Its last successor, the Mughal Empire, only fell in '''''1857'''''.
*'''Ottoman Empire''' ''(1299–1923)'': A vast and powerful Muslim empire that started out as an amalgamation of nomadic tribes uniting to fight off Mongol raiders. From there they became a small Turkish state in Anatolia that conquered Constantinople, the Balkans, Middle East, and North Africa. In its heyday, it was huge, technologically advanced, well-governed and constantly driving forward, the terror of Europe. Its Janissary Corps the most feared and elite group of soldiers in Europe or the Middle East. Yet beginning in the 1600s the Empire began to transition towards a more sedentary state, and while it kept parity with its contemporaries well into the 18th century, missing out on the advances that came with Europe's Seven Years War and then its age of Colonization created a gap the Ottomans were incapable of surmounting. Adding to this was the introduction of Nationalism into the boiling pot of ethnic tensions, (with the Greeks being the first to win their independence in a brutal civil war), the conquest and liberation of much of its territories in Europe by the Austro-Hungarians in the mid 1700s and the Pre-WW1 Imperial Powers of Europe frequently exploiting the political weaknesses of the Ottoman Empire to their benefit. Its eventual end came with World War 1, when the German-allied Ottomans suffered a series of embarrassing defeats against the British-lead Arab minorities and the Russian Empire in the Caucasus. Trying to exterminate the Armenians in the largest Genocide up until the Holocaust did little to alleviate its decline. Kemal Atatürk ultimately dissolved the Empire in 1923 and founded the Republic of Turkey.

==Modern Period==
Note that when WWI started, the crowned rulers of Russia, Great Britain, Germany, Spain, Denmark, Norway, Greece, and Romania were all related by blood or marriage, making both the war the single biggest family feud in history, as well as the royal family the single most successful genepool in all ecology. A similar feud, but between the rival Houses of Bourbon and Hapsburg, sparked pretty much all European wars between 1400 and 1798.

*'''Spanish Empire''' ''(1402-1975, at its height 1516-1700)'': Starting with the discovery of America by Columbus, it quickly colonized huge swaths of the New World, making Spanish the official language of most of Central and South America and the Caribbean. Annihilated the Aztec empire in the process of plundering its gold and silver. They established a trade route with China from the Philippines to Europe going through America, which was one of the first oceanic spice routes of the Early Modern World (the other one being the Portuguese route to India). In its hay day, the Spanish Empire was a frightening entity, controlling the overwhelming majority of trade with Silver and Gold, fielding the largest army and navy in Europe and only adding to it was the union between Spain, Portugal and the Holy Roman Empire under the Habsburg dynasty which dominated much of the history of 1500s central Europe. Its strength started to fade when economic stagnation and an over-reliance on its colonies paired with a serious succession crisis (the result of generations of relentless inbreeding within the Habsburg dynasty) in the early 1700s made its oversea holdings more of a liability than a boon. Adding to this were the constant efforts of the Dutch, British and French to chip away at its powerbase in the Caribbean. In the early 1800s, when mainland Spain was thoroughly beaten into submission by Napoleon,(so thoroughly in fact, that many Spanish historians argue the country basically ceased to exist as an independent nation for a decade) the colonial elites in the new world saw no use in their status anymore and declared independence in quick succession between 1810 and 1830. The final nail in the coffin was the establishing of the Monroe-doctrine as a central tenet in US foreign policy, which saw the Spanish kicked out of Cuba and the Philippines in 1898, ceding its last holdings in the Americas to the United States. While no longer a global empire they still held some territory in North Africa and brought back dictatorship after the Facist victory of the Spanish Civil War. Definitively ended once and for all when dear Franco died leading to democracy.
**When talking about the Spanish and Portuguese empires the Treaty of Tordesillas is worth a mention. Created by Pope Alexander VI, the treaty split the New World between the Spanish and the Portuguese, which is why the Portuguese settled Brazil and got to Japan because that was east of the line.
***Also, between 1578-1668 the Spanish and Portuguese Empire were under the same crown, turning it into the biggest colonial entity until the XIXth Century.
*'''Aztec Empire''' ''(1428–1521)'': Inspiration for [[Lizardmen]] buildings and homeland. It had a weird political structure because it was technically the alliance of 3 city-states, each with their own sovereign priest-king, that split up the spoils of war and regular tribute from their conquered territories in accordance to their contribution to the alliance. Infamously incapable of metalsmithing despite their greatest and most dangerous foes, the Purépecha Empire, knowing how to forge bronze.
**The real reason they were conquered by a band of Conquistadors under Hernan Cortes was not that they beardy crack team of war vets and military engineers of the reclamation of Spain from Muslims, not horses, not cannons, not guns (guns aren't all that deadlier than arrows until in the 19th century with machine guns. Guns are easier to handle and train with, and that is what made them useful), but his craftiness in exploiting '''how the native city-states all hated the Aztecs.''' Because they kept demanding humans for their ritual sacrifices, even going so far as to plant spies to instigate rebellions every decade or so, and spies informing Aztec warriors of all enemy intel to easily reconquer them... all just to justify their taking of even more sacrifices/slaves as "punishment." (Really similar to what Spartans did to their vassal cities). Unlike the greedy and short-sighted Columbus who was reviled by his own men for stealing their cut and discoveries (once they even allied with natives to kill him in his sleep). It doesn't matter how good you are, a few hundred men can't control 10s of 1000s of natives especially when you have limited supplies, arms, and bullets. Cortes promised the natives a good life and equal treatment as new subjects of His Majesty of Spain if they cooperated, and later even pushed to get his mestizo children legitimately recognized by the Church. As it turns out, he was the nicest and most successful conquistador as a result (debatable. There's a reason he's a national hero to Spain and Hitler levels of evil to Mexico). Still killed a lot of people but that was in war rather than pointless massacres and backstabbing/slavery of cooperative natives like Columbus.
***A good example of this are the Tlaxcaltecs. Cortes kept his promise to them. Chichimecs and peoples of Mayan descent also hated the Aztecs and banded together with Cortes.
*'''Inca Empire''' ''(1438–1533)'': Notable for it's size, road systems and the fact that it got so big without horses or wheeled vehicles. Unfortunately for them they got hit with the full Guns, Germs and Steel package when the Spanish showed up.
*'''Mughal Empire''' ''(1526–1857)'': A Muslim-Mongol superpower. After squandering the treasury on buildings and war, British influence managed to increase its presence on the subcontinent. Technically spent its last century as a British vassal.
*'''[[British Empire]]''' ''(1583-1997)'': At its height, the British Empire ruled a quarter of the Earth's land. Began the decolonization process after World War II and the Empire is considered to have ceased to exist as such when Hong Kong was formally turned over to China. Even so they still have handful of overseas territory [https://what-if.xkcd.com/48/ over which the sun has still yet to set]. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opium_Wars Had a hilarious war over trying to peddle drugs into China.] And again. God Save the King/Queen.
*'''Russian Empire''' ''(1721-1917)'': Big, powerful but often backwards in technology and social development. Came into being by destroying the Swedish Empire and proceeding to look east for colonial gains, getting around the nasty conflicts over America that the British and French had. At its height stretched from modern Poland to the Kuril Islands that it annexed from the Japanese, until the Japanese got pissed and took it back, along with stealing Korea and a large portion of Manchuria. Figures that when it ''finally'' started to catch up it decided to enter a world war.
*'''First French Empire''' ''(1804–1815)'': "Vive la Napoleon!" A pampered child of [[/v/]], too. '''Also the O.G. [[Imperial Guard|IMPERIAL GUARD]]''' (Napoleon's La Garde Impériale). In case you don't know about Napoleon, here is the tl;dr version of his and his Empires exploits: Starting as a lowly Lieutenant in the Revolutionary French army, he innovated many tactics of that time (incidentally inventing the basic concept of modern maneuver warfare in the process) and took many of the numerous enemies of the first French Republic by surprise, resulting in astounding victories for France in Italy and Egypt. He then did a Julius Caesar after the government of the Republic lost the support of the masses and installed himself as its sole military dictator, first with the title of First Consul, later crowning himself as Emperor of the French Napoleon I in 1804. His military and logistical genius saw France ground the major powers of Europe fall to their knees in short succession and by 1806, only the British were left to oppose him (although he couldn't do much to defeat them, as the Royal Navy handed him and his incompetent Admiralty a devastating defeat at the Battle of Trafalgar in the same year). Satisfied with his supreme rule over most of continental Europe, he grew a bit complacent which gave his enemies time to reorganize and reform their armies. The first major blunder of his career came when he tasked his Marshals with putting down a rebellion in Spain in a Guerilla War clusterfuck (fun fact: The word Guerilla itself was the name the Spanish rebels fighting Napoleon gave themselves) that rivalled later wars like Vietnam or the Eastern Front in WW2, which they consistently proved to be incapable of putting down, binding precious manpower and resources. THis however was overshadowed in every way by his historic defeat during the Russian Campaign in 1812, where a combination of underestimating the resolve of the Russian Tzar Alexander, overestimation of his own capabilities to overcome the massive distances in Russia, logistical fuck-ups from start to finish and the simple fact that France by that point had exhausted its reserves to the absolute breaking point lead to a devastating and humiliating defeat. This emboldened his former allies to form a new coalition to combine their forces and force him out of Europe in 1813. He did make one (and arguably doomed from the start) last attempt to grab power in 1815, when he was finally defeated at the by now near-mythical Battle of Waterloo.
**Seriously, fa/tg/uys need to stop with the tired French surrender monkeys meme and actually learn some history other than parrot arrogant British mockeries of their rivals. The French up until the Franco-Prussian War had the largest land forces in Europe, because after the Revolution, the military forces of the Republic were filled with people for the first time feeling like they mattered to the country, and this helped Napoleon immensely since his genius in logistical capabilities that let him to outnumber his enemies on the battlefield when least expected and minimize losses so they can keep on going and soon attack the next enemy army.
**Their defeats in WW1 in the trenches were not because they were stupid surrender monkeys like Italians, but too brave to a fault: they kept charging into MG nests and if they didn't make it, they thought they were simply not trying hard enough. Just like many scientific concepts at the time (like Social Darwinism), some generals misused the science/philosophy of the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%89lan_vital "Élan vital"], which basically meant a creature is its will to live. Which in military terms, a military force is not dead until its commanders finally throw in the towel, so to keep up the pressure of life, one must never cease attacking. This on the surface The French learned that mindless charges and machismo won't win wars the hard way in WW1, but the Japanese took WW2 to learn it from their devastating losses by American hands.
**Next time you compare them to the British Empire, try minding that unlike Britain, they had to divide their forces among the sea, AND the land (The real reason Napoleon invaded Russia was because of England's blockade + Russia's refusal to cooperate with his isolation plans for the English). Britain didn't need massive armies to protect herself, just a bunch of boats, along with some soldiers to fight overseas. This explains why Britain and the US both were able to win wars on two fronts in the Second World War: natural barriers that impeded invasion directly through land, thus negating the need for large standing armies. Most of the time anyway.
*'''Austrian Empire''' ''(1804–1918, including time spent as the Austro-Hungarian Empire)'': Ripped apart after WWI. On the height of its power, Hapsburg Austria commanded respect across Europe through a strong army, reinforced through its very liberal policies towards non-Germans (Hussars were an Austro-Hungarian invention, after all). It served as a collective buffer between the Ottomans to the south and the rest of Europe alongside serving a relatively liberal oasis of refuge for multiple ethnicities at the mercy of Russian or Ottoman encroachment. Unfortunately, by the 20th Century, rising ethnic nationalism replaced the regional feudalistic sense of loyalties among the multiple ethnic groups in the Empire. By the time the run-up to WW1 started, Austria had fallen by the way side and was overshadowed in every way by its larger cousin, the German Empire, (ironically enough mainly because of it and Prussia) and although the peace between the Austrians and the Hungarian state structures was tenuous even at the best of times, it persisted quite successfully for a state whose structures looked like a relic well before it collapsed. [https://academic.oup.com/jsh/article-abstract/46/4/971/1065356 Lick a Stamp, Lick the Kaiser!]
*'''Mexican Empire''' (1821-1823): The very short-lived, broke and dysfunctonal first independent Mexican state, made up of the former colony New Spain. Had major civil unrest over the question who should rule Mexico throughout its entire existence, with various despots sitting on the throne for a couple months to be deposed by the next in line and continuing the cycle from there, until at one day, everyone was so exhausted that they thought insisting on a dysfunctional monarchy was perhaps not such a great idea and formed the (equally corrupt and dysfunctional) first Mexican Republic in its stead.
**'''Second Mexican Empire'''(1864-1867): The brief attempt of Mexican Conservative Landlords and General to revive Monarchy in Mexico, backed by Napoleon III of all people. Had a Habsburg Emperor on the basis that the Habsburgs once ruled New Spain (a claim that was by this point in time over 160 years old, if we count the death of the last Spanish Habsburg as the basis for that claim). Had a major civil war over the whole affair because the French thought the US were too busy killing treacherous slaveowners and underestimated the Mexican will to stay independent. Turns out the US ''did'' mind Europeans meddling in Americas affairs quite a lot and gentry told the French to fuck off via aiding the Mexicans in their war with military aid and mercenaries (many of whom later became the bandits you see in classic Westerns).
*'''Brazilian Empire''' ''(1822-1889)'': Like Russia but more backwards and way less powerful. It was one of the premier powers on South America alongside Argentina. Stopped existing when the rich landowners that controlled the country [[grimdark|got sick of the Emperor's shit for making the slaves free so they sacked him and declared a republic. Oh how ironic the monarchy was better than the "free" republic.]]
*'''Empire of [[Japan]]''' ''(538–1947)'': They've had an emperor since 538, but didn't actually make significant foreign or cultural conquests of any sort since the prior two attempts to do something in Korea ended in eventual expulsion. Japan really got into the empire-building business after it was first to industrialize among the nations of Eastern Asia, which wouldn't be that much of an advantage were it not for the fact that most nations around them (Russia, Korea, China) were in pretty bad shape so the Japanese had little trouble defeating and conquering them...except their own staggering ineptitude in some areas like the land-army and the navy actively undermining each other or not making any friends by being genocidal pricks, in some ways being arguably worse than the Nazis. For what it's worth, Japan did manage to build a respectably-sized empire starting from the 30s but saw it all collapse due to aforementioned assholery, poor supply lines and taking on the United Motherfucking States of America.
**As critical as we are, it would be dishonest to deny how rapidly the Japanese were able to modernize after Commodore Perry's visit in the mid 1800's. The Meiji restoration for all intents and purposes put Japan into a position of dignity and power after the tumultuous downfall of the Tokugawa Shogunate. Japan also led the world in military aviation along with Germany in the 1930s, having developed the Zero and especially the aircraft carrier concept, which would be helpful in defending a seaborne empire. To put in the rapidity of Japanese growth into perspective, the US annexed Hawaii (and later the Philippines) precisely because they feared said islands would fall into Japanese hands if they didn't get there first. While not completely implausible seeing how the Japanese seized Taiwan and the Kuril Islands after kicking China and Russia in the balls, the Hawaiian island were a retardedly far distance from Japan (even though that didn’t stop Japanese migrants from settling on the islands in search of jobs).
**Note that while modern Japan is still named the same as the Japanese Empire was, the name is now officially translated as Japanese State rather than Japanese Empire. It also still maintains an Emperor as a constitutional monarch. Their <s>Navy</s> [[Rules Lawyer|Maritime Self-Defense Force]] kept the old flag though, which is on the level as the Nazi Swastika in many part of Asia, especially in China and Vietnam.
*'''German Empire''' ''(1871–1918)'': '''The Second Reich,''' put together by Otto von Bismarck's political genius and Prussian efficiency, it took a collection of feuding principalities and, in a few decades, turned them into the greatest industrial power in Europe until it was exhausted fighting pretty much every other industrial power that mattered, twice. Bismarck famously kept the Austrian Empire out of the German Empire owing to the long-standing Prussian-Austrian rivalry within the HRE and the fact that incorporating the Austrians would've meant bringing in huge masses of non-German populations.
**Officially ceased to exist after World War I. However, the German Empire had somewhat limited expansion after Wilhelm the Ist died. His successor thought he'd be better and kicked Bismarck out and pursued colonial ventures. Only problem was that Wilhelm the IInd couldn't decide whether they needed to be killing asians, French, Brits, or Russians for the majority of its existence post Bismarck. This explains why Germany had the odd colony all over the world and in the strangest places, including the Pacific, Africa, and the Caribbean: Wilhelm couldn't figure out which group of minorities he wanted to kill/compete with. Fun bit of trivia, the German colonial legacy resulted in China now operating the largest Brewery in the world, a leftover from when Germany had occupied the harbour of Tsingtao after the Opium Wars. Some kreolic German languages survive in parts of Namibia, Togo and Cameroon to this day.
*'''(Great) Germany (Grossdeutsches Reich)''' ''(1933-1945)'': Colloquially known as '''[[Nazi|Nazi Germany]]'''. The '''Third''' and shortest '''Reich''', though not for lack of ambition. Owing to Bismarck keeping the Austrians out of the German Empire, their first major conquest beyond the historic borders of Germany was Austria. They claimed to be the greatest industrial power in Europe until they exhausted themselves fighting pretty much every other industrial power that mattered.
**Did you know the term Nazi was a derisive slur originally used by their political enemies? The political party was actually named NSDAP, '''Na'''tionalso'''zi'''alistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei, or "National Socialist German Worker Party". They were called Nazis because, in German, it was an insult for Bavarian hillbillies, and most National Socialists came from Bavaria.
*'''Soviet Union''' ''(1922-1991)'': '''THE HEAD OF THE SECOND WORLD.''' <s>The successors to the Russian Empire,</s> Too many people forget the USSR was a body of many nations and peoples (to the point a lot of ex-Soviet peoples wistfully think of the old days when all were equal under the Soviet rule and Russians weren't jingoistic and neo-Nazis were unheard of), even when Russia was its most powerful unit with no doubt. With a Global Ideology based on [[Communism]]. But do keep in mind that not all (self-proclaimed) Communist nations were actually part of the Soviet Union (quite a number of them were just de facto dictator/monarchs with Anti-Western ideologies that proclaimed they were going to save the downtrodden people with Communism, and also get monetary supplement from USSR for being Anti-West). After defeating the 3rd Reich, managed to extend its influence over Eastern Europe and thanks to the appeal of Communism was also able to influence states on almost every continent. But was unable to keep up economically or militarily with the United States and eventually finally fell apart with a whimper at the end of the Cold War.
**In it's height of power, the USSR's GDP was around half of USA, but its military budget equaled it. And during the Cold War, American military budget was almost 10% of its GDP compared to 4.5% of today, compared to around 3% to 1st world nations who depend on the US military to protect them from China/Russia.
**Really screwed themselves over with a 20% GDP military budget. Every ruble spent in the military is one not spent in civil industry and commerce. But even this is heavenly compared to bleak militaristic shit holes like North Korea.
***That, and their version of Vietnam, called the Soviet-Afghanistan war. Started on the same year when China invaded Vietnam, in 1979. Ended in 1989. Not long before the collapse of the Union.
**The reason for its downfall are not easy to boil down. Aforementioned oversized military budget, being caught in the Cold War did a substantial part, but also a culture of administrative corruption and cronyism the Soviets inherited from the state structures of the Russian Empire. The whole economy was centrally planned around the ideal of maximizing productivity through a series of four or five-year-plans in which certain goals, issued by the Communist Party, were meant to be achieved. However, the slow, monolithic bureaucracy that would give the [[Administratum]] a run for its money in how inefficient in worked, made achieving these goals impossible, be it through the tedious gears of administrators that had to approve every single thing on their desks or just straight up incompetence: The Socialist ideal pushed people from the factories and lowest stratas of society into high level government offices they were in no way equipped or capable to manage. The constant atmosphere of fear and terror that drooled out of the KGB also made sure that no serious innovative initiatives could take place; you had to accept the party line or say goodbye to your (and your families) few privileges, if you had some sort of power or ability useful to the Soviet State. This created a self-destructive culture of officials and directors frequently falsifying factory and bureaucracy records, which were then further edited the higher they went up in order to earn a promotion, make themselves look better or just avoid the all too watchful eye of the KGB - it was only after Chernobyl and the beginning of Perestroika under Gorbachev when the Soviet Leadership started to grasp how deeply fucked the entire Soviet economy even was. The revelations from these inquiries very quickly lead to the collapse of the USSR within just 5 years through the people that finally had enough of the Communists. Gorbachev, for the shit he (on some accounts, rightfully) gets was by 1986 presented with a problem that was impossible to find a solution for, even for more capable statesmen he ended up being.
**These aforementioned problems were further exasperated by rising ethnic tensions in many parts of the multi-ethnic USSR, starting in the Baltic states. Ask most of the Post-Soviet states about how the KGB and Communist government treated them. The Holodomor and the KGB's treatment of ethnic minorities was atrocious. There's a reason that so many countries elected to leave the Soviet Union, a good number of which joined NATO to prevent ever being forced into the Russian state ever again.
*'''The United States of America''' ''(1776-Present)'': '''THE HEAD OF THE FIRST WORLD.''' There is much controversy over whether the global Hegemony established by the United States counts as an empire or not. The merriam-webster definition of empire reads: ''a major political unit having a territory of great extent or a number of territories or peoples under a single sovereign authority'', which even before you consider out of territory influence the vast amount of states with different cultures certainly means American meets the technical dictionary definition of empire, which means everybody still argues about but that some people are just more nerdy about how they do it then others. For argument's sake, we will consider the American Empire a reality here. What is not in doubt is that since the end of WWII, and especially since the end of the Cold War the United States has held near total sway in terms of global power, though recent moves by a resurgent China look to be eroding American Global Power and Influence. Which is all Bush Jr.'s fault for wasting energy on the Middle East when he should have checked China and Russia.
**Much of the Global Hegemony of the US results from ordinary political pushes and pulls that happen between nations popularly called 'soft power'. It's just that America is seriously advantaged in this game, what with the largest consumer market, dollar currency, lack of resource dependency (America produces the most oil. Shocking, I know. America just needs even more of it), Lack of hostile/powerful neighbors being and military might. It also benefited greatly from the end of WWII, when the vast majority of its economic competitors were debt-laden bombed-out ruins that had to relinquish all their colonial possessions, giving America enormous market-share for several decades in international trade. Of course this share shrank after the rest of the world got back on its feet, but by that time America’s economic hegemony had been well-established.
***As a consequence of this, the US is home to the two biggest stock exchange markets on the planet with their combined value dwarfing their ten other rival exchanges combined. And the fact the US government’s financial regulators take a backseat but can sanction any country or company makes many global companies take pause on their rules.
**Controls the mightiest military force in human history. #1 largest military budget, and this is large as the those of nations in #2 to #10 combined. And excluding China and Russia, all those nations are American allies anyway (maybe except India and Saudi Arabia). Keep in mind that GDP Percentage-wise, '''this is less than half of American military spending during the Cold War.''' Should an alien invasion occur, they are your first and last hope. As a man once said, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyRmxjhYrmw&ab_channel=TheRussianBadger|America is the final boss of planet Earth.]
***And the military with most real combat experience to boot.
**With NATO, and many nations asking to station American troops around the world (and America pays a large chunk of the expenditures for them too), many nations voluntarily depend on American protection, especially from China or Russia nowadays.
**Still to this day, no nation in history has ever held as much power as it did as the United States of America. And compared to the other 2 contenders (The Spanish and British Empires), still is the most conscious of human rights and freedoms. (Keep in mind, while the US is a bit behind in human rights/freedoms/corruption than some European nations, most other 200 nations in the world have appalling oppression to the point the people there just don't even complain about it because they've been inoculated by [[grimdark]]. If you live in a country that can still complain about injustices happening within it, then there is still hope.)
** The USA is also frankly fascinating in that it achieved something similar to the Roman Empire but even better - it produced a dominant culture that can (relatively) easily assimilate various ethnicities and other cultures and strengthen itself through this process. If you know English and are a skilled worker, you can get a green card, live in the US for 5 years and then take a test to become a citizen, then you can open up a store that sells Sushi/Burek/Pizza and earn millions as you introduce a hitherto-unknown new dish to the country. America is the Borg except you get to keep your biological distinctiveness while culture and tech are shared to strengthen everybody.
**And finally, the simply IMMENSE cultural impact that the USA had/has on the whole PLANET also helps maintain it's status. Don't believe me - Mickey Mouse, Coca-cola, the frigging American flag will likely get recognised virtually anywhere in the world. Hollywood may as well be up there with the Army for the amount of influence it exerts on other countries.

=Notable Fictional Empires=
==Fantasy==
*'''[[The Empire (Warhammer Fantasy)]]''': Holy Roman Empire with bald monks, lots of gunpowder and [[Meme|Karl Franz]].
*'''Nilfgaard''' ([[The Witcher]])): Roman Empire + some HRE and Nazi Germany (at least in the late books) '''again''', although this time you'd probably want to live here than in the most of the oppressive feudal racist and constantly warring Northern Kingdoms. Especially with the fact that it almost became constitutional monarchy before Torres var Emreis took over.
*'''Mordor'''([[Lord of the Rings]]): Traditional evil empire lead by an immense final boss that lives in a tower. The Dark Lord Sauron rules Mordor directly, but his influence extends to Harad in the south, and Rhun to the east, with the humans living there serving as his vassals. He also commands Orc forces in Dol Guldur, the Misty Mountains, and (nominally) Isengard. Hard to pinpoint the exact aesthetic of Mordor, but there are certainly ancient middle eastern imperial influences, such as shield design and armor shapes.
:*'''Numenor''': A human empire that existed in Middle Earth's second age, and was the most advanced Human civilization. Started out as a benevolent island nation with trade colonies on the coastline of Middle Earth, but over time its political leadership was taken over by faithless, jingoistic militarists who conquered large parts of the continent and ruled with an iron fist. Numenor was destroyed when they were tricked by Sauron into invading the Undying Lands, which caused the sinking of Numenor. Those who survived the sinking founded the much smaller kingdoms of Arnor and Gondor.

==Science Fiction==
*'''Galactic Empire''' ([[Star Wars]]): An amalgamation of Nazi Germany, the Soviet Union (under Stalin), several colonial or semi-colonial empires (Britain, Japan) and USA during Vietnam War. It's background also borrows many things from Rome, with an elected dictator gaining an absolute power to prevent the stagnation of previous democratic regime. Probably the most famous "Galactic Empire" in science fiction, despite having several precedents.
* '''[[Star League]]''' ([[Battletech]]): Basically HRE in space with [[mecha]]. Formed under House Cameron, it was more prosperous, technologically advanced, and much more peaceful compared to the [[Succession Wars|three century clusterbang]] that came after its collapse. Was looked back at fondly by the greater powers as the pinnacle of human civilization and something they all wanted to reform under their own banner.
*'''Galactic Empire''' ([[Isaac Asimov|Foundation]]): Space Rome. Asimov based the Foundation series on Gibbons' "Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire" and so the Galactic Empire is a sclerotic, decaying empire doomed to collapse and be replaced with a new, more vibrant empire. At least, until he went back to write some sequels.
*'''Galactic Empire''' ([[Anime|Legend of the Galactic Heroes]]): What if Otto von Bismarck was a neo-Nazi [[LARP|LARPER]] who went full Julius Caesar on the Galactic Republic? Well, then you'd get the Galactic Empire.
*'''Empire of the Known Universe''' ([[Dune]]): Feudalism in space, its first iteration. Emperor doesn't play much role here (at first, at least), and usually has to meet the needs of Spicing Guild (the real ruler of the Universe) or interact with other Great Houses, who are as powerful as him. Eventually the Imperium turned into an oppressive dictatorship of the all-knowing and all-seeing immortal half-worm half-human hybrid, [[Just As Planned|all according to his plan]] [[Emprah|to elevate the Humanity]].
*'''[[Imperium of Man]]''' ([[Warhammer 40K]]): Dune and Warhammer Empire's evil child. Catholic-themed Soviet Union at first, extremely oppressive Catholic Middle Ages Europe with some Nazi flavor later, Catholic-themed Late Roman Empire/Republic now( with some more bit of the middle ages). Of note is that the Imperium despite its reputation of stagnation ironically stands out as evolving and changing politically over time in many different ways, reflecting an aspect of real life empires often overlooked.

[[category:History]]

Robin Cruddace

2023-05-04T08:47:17Z

2001:8003:1C20:8C00:75C9:5831:1D18:31C6: /* 9th Edition */

{{Fail}}
{{WTF}}
[[Image:Cruddace.jpg|300px|right|thumb|The Cruddmeister himself, doing his best (and failing) to not look like an [[Ogryn]] with Downs.]]
'''Robin Cruddace''' is one of the designers for [[Games Workshop]]. He's nowhere near as good as [[Jeremy Vetock]] or [[Phil Kelly]], he is considered the [[Heresy|Bane]] of Tyranid and Tomb Kings players due to his [[Fail|Tyranid and Tomb Kings Codices.]]

Mostly, his Codices are just boring. They're not particularly well-balanced internally (as [[Pyrovore]]s will attest), but they aren't guilty of [[Phil Kelly]]'s monobuild (Aside from 6E Nids). They also aren't very well externally balanced (i.e. against other Codices), but they're nowhere near as bad as Ward's. And his fluff is... well, it really depends on how much of a 'Nids fan you are. In other words, the crunch was crappy bad but still workable with a few good lists, and his fluff can either go from being tolerable, or straight up to Matt Ward levels of pure undisputed bullshit.

In the end, Cruddace will be forever hated by Tyranid players who want to feed him feet-first to a [[Ripper|Ripper Swarm]] for [[Rape|the travesty he inflicted]] upon the [[Warhammer 40,000/5th Edition Tactics/Tyranids|5th]] & [[Warhammer 40,000/6th Edition Tactics/Tyranids|6th]] edition codices. He should probably avoid aquariums or river cruises to South America, lest some disgruntled Neckbeard try to fulfill the aforementioned prophecy by throwing him into a school of [[Ripper|Piranhas]].

Eventually, Cruddace was mostly trapped in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]], possibly because Games Workshop realized nobody likes him that much, or maybe because he legitimately liked the other game better and chose to design for it. The latter seems fairly unlikely, though, as he's a really, really big [[Tank|treadhead]]. This probably explains why his Imperial Guard 'dex (read: army with dozens of tanks) was so much better than his 'Nids 'dex (read: army with absolutely zero tanks). It's kind of hilarious how GW keeps giving him the infantry only armies, and how he gave the Daemons vehicles.

Also, for some reason, a lot of people spell his name "Cruddance." It has yet to be determined whether this is a shitty attempt at a pun ("crud" + "dance") or just people being inconsiderate faggots (see: [[Bretonnia]] v. [[Brettonia]]).

==Ahem==
Robin Cruddace is a codex writer for [[Warhammer 40,000]] and [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]], and an utter treadhead. This means, of course, that there is [[Imperial Guard|one army]] he is '''very good at writing''', but not too many others, and there is much wailing and misery over the utter hackjobs he's pulled on the [[Tyranids]], the army he was '''least''' suited for. It's also possible that he's not really a treadhead either - the guy's an Imperial Guard player, just like [[Matt Ward]] is an [[Ultramarines]] player, so like Ward it's easy to see he definitely played a bit of favoritism with his own guys. On the other end of the spectrum, it appears he may have been in the camp of believers that Tyranids were overpowered with overpowered MCs, since that's what he [[Carnifex|nerfed the hardest]], and then he took away all their equipment options so they couldn't even be accidental bargains somehow.

He also filled the Tyranid fluff with page after page of losing battles for Tyranids, rather than the enigmatic analysis on their rapid development and adaptability which they were previously known for (their crunch now makes them among the most rigid armies in the game). In fact, he has one story about how well the [[Tau]] were able to out-adapt the Tyranids by tricking them into disadvantageous evolutionary paths. The Tau won that battle by beating Tyranids at their own game. In the Tyranids' own codex. (And thus, the [[Pyrovore]] was born!) And then the Tau were killed off by [[Necrons]]. Also, he removed all the awesome fluff about Inquisitor Kryptmann (aka spehss Alan Grant from Jurassic Park with a hint of Ripley from Alien/s). Fortunately, with the 6th edition Tyranid codex, someone else realized how stupid this was and brought Kryptmann back, along with adding the story of Tyranids wrecking both Grey Knights and Chaos Daemons in the Shadowbrink campaign. If only they could've saved the crunch from Cruddace.

Editors' note: /tg/ is pretty damn sure that if Cruddace had the power to, he would buff imperial guards to the point of being stronger than [[The Ultimate Grey Knight Cheese List|A certain selection of model Cheeses]] and turn them into an army of literally nothing but 9 Tanks and a creed that would wipe out anything short of a primarch on the first turn, and completely kill any remaining units in the second turn while simultaneously '''Literally Retconning the Tyranids and their entire existence, threat and presence as well as playability''' from 40k. Let's just hope he never obtains said power.
As per the newest Octarius book, it seems he succeeded.

We don't know what's [[Heresy|wrong]] with Cruddace, but if he writes your army's codex, you better hope he likes your army. One theory is that if it kills his guardsmen, he'll hate you forever (no wonder he despises Tyranids as much as the Inquisition despises freedom of speech and opinion.) On that note, the Eldar better hope that Cruddace is never allowed near any of their future codices, but the Dark Eldar have likely already fallen victim to his writing.

No, really, go back and think it through. Now admittedly, sometimes the Tyranids will lose. But a good writer is able to balance a sense of closure with the cosmic horror that there are always more Tyranids out there. When they invaded [[Macragge]] they couldn't win because it would kill the Ultramarines forever, [[Mary Sue|and the Ultramarines are pretty damn important to the game]]. But it was climactic, it was intelligent. It was an epic battle stretching from the dark tunnels of a monastery-fortress to the tundras of the planet surface to the depths of space, both sides fighting tooth-and-nail. It was the entirety of the third biggest group of a theoretically infinite faction, verses the homeworld of one of the most famous and powerful space marine chapters and the heart of [[Ultramar|one of the most important regions in the Imperium]]. The Tyranids lost the war as a whole, but they destroyed the entire First Company and decimated the rest of the Chapter, and the Ultramarines could only manage to destroy ''most'' of them. Pretty hardcore.

And then there was the Shadowbrink Campaign, where a load of Grey Knights protecting this relic that needs to have rituals performed over it every day to stop a frakload of Daemons from arriving suddenly get a message that the Tyranids are on their way. When said Tyranids arrive, they nom those Grey Knights and the Guardsmen sent to help them, and because those Grey Knights are no longer there to perform their rituals a load of Daemons are unleashed upon the world too. Initially the Tyranids see the Daemons as more food and send feeder beasts to consume them, but because the Daemons are ethereal creatures born from corrupted souls, they can't be eaten, and kill the feeder beasts in all sorts of spectacular ways as they wallow helplessly in a bog created by the Daemons. Realising that that plan went down the toilet, the Hive Mind starts to look upon the Daemons not as prey, but as rival predators after the same food source as the Tyranids (which is pretty much true as Daemons feed off the souls of mortals while the Tyranids devour their bodies). With that in mind it decides to spam a load of gun beasts to blast the Daemons into oblivion, causing the Chaos Gods to fight amongst themselves again now that their plan's going wrong and their Daemons have no more real souls to feed off. A Great Unclean One is blown up by Zoanthropes, Khorne is unable to get any [[Khorne|BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD]], Tzeentch withdraws his forces early and leaves the other three gods' forces in the shit [[Just as Planned]] and Slaanesh decides to be its rival's bitch and follow the Khorne Daemons in a last battle. Sending a load of Tyrannofexes and Trygons to face them, the Tyranids wreck the remaining Daemon forces and force them to retreat back into the Realm of Chaos, before returning to clearing up the rest of the biomass left on the world. Literally the only true Tyranid victory ever mentioned.

In the story Crud'''f'''ace wrote, [[Hive Fleet Gorgon|meanwhile the Tyranids;]] in their own codex; [[Bullshit|lost a battle of adaptation to a random Tau force]] nobody knows. Consider that rapid adaptability was the Tyranids' single most important claim to fame. Then afterwards, Cruddace killed off the whole Tau force anyway. [[Fail|With another faction entirely.]] The saddest part is how easy it would be to fix: either make it a major Tau world (with the implication that, if the Tau lose, the Tau Empire is nommed), or make the Tau solution something so [[grimdark]] and [[Apocalypse|apocalyptic]] (read: super virus) that the Tau realize the only way to stop the Tyranids when they all finally arrive is to sacrifice the entirety of the Tau Empire (and possibly all sentient life in the galaxy). Hey, its worked in other universes.

But no, he made the Tau '''better''' than the Tyranids. Apparently the Ultramarines are just chumps... (he was probably making a remark about how well [[Codex Astartes|a certain piece of literature]] from [[Roboute Guilliman|a certain spiritual liege]] would realistically hold up against an enemy as dynamic as 'Nids).

The ideal was, as he gave it, [[Bullshit|"you wouldn't be hearing about Tyranid victories".]]

In any case, we are not kidding: if Crud'''f'''ace doesn't like your army, prepare to get fucked.

That being said, he also made a bunch of the 8th edition Fantasy books, which were, for the most part, pretty good, and seem to be bringing Warhammer Fantasy into ''*gasp*'' balance (even if [[Tomb Kings]] are still at the arse end of useful). He was also a co-writer for the 7th edition Lizardmen army book, which was considered a strong, but balanced book until 8th edition changes to magic occurred.

There's also a [[skub]]tastic argument between Kelly's and Cruddace's fans about the mess of random tables that Codex: Chaos Daemon has become. The book's actually decent overall (unless you relied on Fateweaver to win games for you) and balance wise is in line with the other 6th Edition books. Also, the fluff does a good job in portraying the Chaos Daemons. However, if you even try to suggest that one of the two might be behind the nerf of one unit, you'll find yourself in one of the big shitstorms [[:/tg/]] is known for.

He recently wrote the new Space Marine codex, its pretty decent and balanced the Chapters lore pretty well compared to the other previous codices, even if it did leave in a lot of the Ultrmarine wank it was reedited to be more balanced.

It should be noted that "crud" is an often-used euphemism for "crap". Make of this what you will.

==Notable Victims of The Cruddace==
*[[Imperial Guard]] (5th Edition): His first work gave Cruddace the "Treadhead" moniker. Though the internal balancing and fluff are pretty good, the codex really throws a wrench into the metagame; months later, the infamous leaf-blower list will be crafted using this codex flooding tournaments with melta-vets, artillery and various other spams.
*[[Tyranids]] (5th and 6th Edition): This is where everything went wrong and how Cruddace became synonymous with nerfing. Cruddace literally took his least favorite army's codex and proceeded to figuratively [[Nurgle|smear shit all over it,]] by simultaneously nerfing anything the 'Nids had that was competitive into the ground, and then writing stories essentially portraying them as being a weak and pathetic race that lost every battle it fought in. This was when the consecutive stream of nerfs from 3rd edition onward hit their absolute peak. Although the codex churned out some nifty units ([[Hive Guard]] coming to mind), the balancing at the time was wonky as fuck, deleting the much beloved [[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX]]. This also introduced the [[Pyrovore]], arguably the most useless unit in the game. and the consecutive nerf stream continued up until 8th edition, which was the only codex that has granted the nids any significant stuff since '''2ND EDITION'''. <span style="color:purple">'''***SSSSSS Crud-assssss hassss not the neckbeardssss to be writing fohhhhh usssssss he mussssst be taken to the poolssssss***'''</span>
*[[Tomb Kings]] (8th Edition): Largely forgettable compared to his other works. Noteworthy in that it clears up a lot of contention from the previous book (like making liches '''actual''' wizards), fleshes out their lore (it doesn't really, it just includes a lot of long-winded descriptions of what they look like when they're killing people. You'll get sick of paragraphs-long descriptions of "bronze blades flashing as blood sprays into the sky and skeletal feet trample maimed foes into the earth" long before you finish the book) and gives the Tomb Kings [[Awesome|Sphinxes that they use in battle]]. It should be mentioned that most TK players absolutely hate most of his changes. Giving an army that actually relies on magic unreliable magic was a massive dick move and would frequently cause spontaneous game-loss regardless of how you played. It was also one of the most rigid books ever written because the army was neatly divided into "must have" units and "don't touch" units (and the must haves weren't all that good, they were just the only units that were decent, whereas the "don't touch" units often were incapable of actually doing whatever it was they were meant to do, i.e. character-hunters who couldn't kill another character to save their lives and monster hunters who had, at best, a 1 in 12 chance of actually killing another monster). Essentially there were two workable builds. The "Khalida plus archers" build that carried over from the much better 6th ed book and the list that Cruddace seemed to think you should be playing; Tomb Guard Deathstar, with Necropolis Knights, sphinxes, and Chariots. It's notable that, once again, he wrote a book that revolves around tank-like creatures (sphinxes), large blobs of expendable infantry, and a deathstar composed of the most elite unit in the army, led by a character with a powerful, but very short ranged aura. He also made them slow as all hell compared to previous versions. Weirdly reminiscent of his 5th edition Tyranid Codex.
*[[Sisters of Battle]] (the 5th Edition [[White Dwarf]]-only not-even-[[Codex]]): Continuing on the nerfing trend after [[Matt Ward]] butchered the Sisters in 5th ed. The team-up of Ward and Cruddace heralded a severe Gav Thorpe-esque reduction and tactical blunting of the previously known Witchunters list - gone are any inquisitorial support, leaving the Sisters outgunned and outclassed. Immolators? Can't take them with troops! HQ? Too expensive to be useful! Decent Elites slots? BWAHAHAHAHA - no.
*[[Empire|The Empire]] (8th Edition): Again, not very memorable. Adds some gee-whiz new war machines, but most infantry gets a price hike when other armies are getting their points costs ''lowered''.
*[[Chaos Daemons]] (6th Edition): playing the nerfer-in-chief yet again, but balanced out (somewhat) by Phil Kelly and his random tables of random. Sadly, the victims are manifold - [[FAIL|Juggers have no armour]] and [[Just as planned|Tzeentchian psykers and Flamers buff your opponent]]. It's all not as bad as the internet makes it out to be, especially on 1d4chan, but it is close. Because you can take Screamers and Tzeentch Heralds in the right combo to have a Jetbike unit with a '''re-rollable 2++''', and Warpflame isn't a big deal if you fire your spells on one unit at a time. Just pretend everyone is Necrons! Also, Daemons do have ways to deal with flyers, like a Slaanesh Prince with Lash of Despair and Biomancy. Expensive, but it works, and let's not forget Bloodletters behind a quad gun that can fire at BS5. Oh, and did we mention you have [[Cheese| a Monstrous Creature that has nine attacks on the charge, always hit on 3s with hatred, wounds everything on a 2+, ignoring armour and inflicts Instant Death? And can wreck a Land Raider by smashing it with Armourbane (Skarbrand)?]]
*[[Space Marines]] (6th Edition): There seems to be an uncanny pattern of switching back and forth between Cruddace's Treadhead and Nerfer personas; this one uses the former largely because of the army that he himself plays - no really, he plays [[Howling Griffons]]! It is however an incredibly stable codex with fluff--although derived from the previous edition--is not terrible. There are some casualties (like the deletion of the [[Black Templars]] as their own, separate faction and subsequent amalgamation into the book), but there are some nifty bright spots, specifically the Chapter Tactics. Now you can choose from seven different chapters to play, each with their own unique strategies. Would be seen as a great codex if it wasn't for Heldrakes and Riptides, but technically that's not his fault (c'mon, the non-Space Marine players need some things to even the playing field).
*Due to [[Games Workshop|GeeDubs]] deciding it would be a grand idea not to tell us who the author is any more, we no longer have a way of determining who else might fall victim to the ominous touch of the Cruddace.
*He's confirmed to have written the 6th Edition Tyranids Codex (aka, the book that nerfed an already fairly low tier army into complete uselessness) thanks to White Dwarf. Much Rage abound. Also makes you wonder why censoring the names of the authors was a good idea considering White Dwarf informed us of who wrote the book.
*We also know he's one of the three guys writing [[Warhammer 40,000 7th edition]], getting second billing after [[Jervis Johnson]].
* While unconfirmed, he's the main suspect behind the 7th Edition Dark Eldar codex given the style of writing and changes to the crunch (farewell Flickerfields and most special characters, including Vect).
*We also know he co-wrote Codex: Deathwatch (7th Edition) with [[Phil Kelly]] through an interview. It's a mess, featuring stuff like rules that cannot be used since he forgot to include options for characters to use the rule, as well as forgetting basic equipment (like the Assault Marines Jump Packs), as well as the most boring formations in any rulebook.
*He's also been confirmed as one of the writers behind [[Warhammer 40,000 8th Edition]], once again getting second billing after Jervis Johnson., as well as being a lead writer on most Codies, so Ultrasmurf Tank spam and Imperial Guard Spam aren't OP for no reason.
*The April 2018 issue of White Dwarf confirms him as one of the main writers for the 8th Edition Dark Eldar Codex. While generally extremely well received, there are some baffling decisions like the the Squatting of Kabalite Trueborn and Hekatrix Bloodbrides. Bloodbrides can be (sort of) explained by Wyches coming with 2 Attacks base now, but the writers could easily have opened up more wargear options or something. The same rationale may have been used for the Trueborn due to Warriors getting to take more heavy and special weapons, but the same principle applies. Another is adding the Crucible of Malediction, (a wargear choice already available to Generic Heamonculus) as a very overcosted Stratagem. (Sort of) Justified by Urian Rakarth not having one, but it against raises the question: Why not just give him the Crucible anyway?
**As it turns out the Dark Eldar are extremely mono-build as far as competitive play goes so they are sadly the latest Victims. With very minor variations (some might take a Razorwing or two), each Tourney List is literally:
*** Black Heart Spearhead: Labyrinthine Cunning Archon with Writ of the Living Muse plus 3x Ravagers
*** Flayed Skull or Black Heart Batallion: Naked Archon x2, 6x 5-Elf Kabalite Squads with Blaster in Venom
*** Alaitoc Battalion: Jetbike Farseer with Doom, Jetbike Warlock with Conceal or Jinx, Ranger Spam.
* Warhammer Community's article on which GW figures make official visits to the 2018 NOVA Open lists him as the lead designer of 40k. Suddenly, an edition characterized by stuff that the Guard does well (such as massed volleys) makes a lot of sense.
* It was stated in an article about Kill Team that Cruddace had a hand in it. Especially with the Rogue Trader release.
* While some were hopeful and optimistic to the approach of [[warhammer 40,000 9th edition|Warhammer 40k’s 9th Edition]], months of codex creep and rules bloat have made many wishing for another rules revamp. Ork Players found their greentide in the garbage while Chaos Marines Players lost an entire codex’s worth of wargear and options in one of the [[FAIL|worst blunders since his Tyranid days.]]
* The Crud is the lead designer for Warhammer 10th edition, and there is already much wailing and gnashing of teeth as Tyranids see Synapse nerfed in an article mentioning him

==And then, Codex: Space Marines==
When Cruddace was revealed as the writer of the new Codex: Space Marines, there was much moaning at how badly they were going to be nerfed. In amongst all the complaining about how stupid the Centurions looked, the doomsayers spoke of an age when Vanilla Marines would be amongst the worst Codices in the game.

And then, it was released, and there was much confusion.

Unlike Cruddace's Imperial Guard, or the Eldar and Tau Empire books that had been released recently, it wasn't overpowered against the others. Unlike Cruddace's Tyranids, or the recently produced Chaos Space Marines, it was neither underpowered nor monobuild. There was shock and confusion. For the first time in a long while, there was a Codex that was neither [[rape]] nor [[fail]]. It was... ''good''.

The Chapter Tactics, whilst having [[White Scars|some]] more powerful than [[Raven Guard|others]], were all valid choices that could have decent army lists written for them. The Black Templars took few casualties during the transfer. The fluff ([[Skub|with]] [[Black Templars|a few]] [[Iron Hands|exceptions]]) was well-written and portrayed every Chapter faithfully (with the obvious exception being Ultra-wank in every non-Ultra Chapter's story). Most of the options in each slot could be taken in a good army list. It was ''good''.

What this indicates regarding Cruddace's writing ability is unknown. There are several views which can be loosely grouped together. The first view is since he has demonstrated bias towards Imperium factions, especially those with tanks (It is very convenient that the Imperial Guard [his favorite army] can now bring a larger allied Space Marine force WITH all their vehicles, and that transports can be taken for free in a certain detachment), this codex is a work of selfish favoritism. The second relates, as Space Marines have long been Games Workshop's Creator's Pet/Cash Cow; GW could have been looking over Cruddace's shoulder while he wrote the codex to ensure their pet stayed at the top like they want. The third is a case of Occam's Razor, where Cruddace's talents have been [[Level|improving]] over time with practice or he had a flash of brilliance resulting in the codex being better-than-average for him. Another possibility may be the fact that GW is finally doing actual playtesting.

As ever, get the facts straight and draw your own conclusions.

==8th Edition==
Interestingly, on a recent stream on WarhammerTV, it was said that the Almighty Treadhead himself was in charge of the design of 8th edition.

After almost 3 years of 8th edition it's pretty safe to say making the Treadhead senior rules writer was a terrible idea. Imperial Guard soup dominated the meta for the majority of the edition and it is only with the release of the Space Marines 2.0 codex and the Iron Hands and Imperial Fists supplements that something new has challenged the guard crown. (Notice how all the broken armies like running tanks?) Do you like playing independent, fluffy armies using only a single codex? Too bad cause we're cookin' soup up here in 8th, but only in the Guard and Eldar varieties. Did you like when they promised at the start of 8th that 40k players wouldn't need a personal library to keep up with all the rules? Too bad. Cruddace and his team's continued inability to write balanced rules combined with GW's love of draining wallets has led to countless FAQs and Errata, a yearly "balance" book in the form of Chapter approved, Codex 2.0 releases, and a series army supplement books. At least his work on Kill Team is decent. Although it also suffers from too many book releases and patches.

==9th Edition==
According to the 9th Edition core rulebook Cruddace was the lead designer of 9th edition. Unfortunately it didn’t turn out well…

Meme of the month codexes/lists are still a thing, Rule bloat and Power Creep is reaching critical levels faster than 7th edition, mortal wound spammers are king and armor piercing can’t make sense. There are some factions (eldar/nids/tau) that are [[Cheese|gamebreakingly busted]] and others (chaos/orks/genestealers) that are [[FAIL|borderline unplayable]]. Even the core rules, while balanced and decent at the start, was turned into a mess; constant FAQs, major gameplay changes to CP that halved what you normally get and [[what|to pay for a warlord trait]], and further confusion on terrain! There have been many attempts to patch the game’s rules but it only makes the physical codices worth less to have as a result. Because these rules keep changing on a dime, entire armies can either be worth it or worthless.

There is a theory that Robin Cruddace fell into a coma during the development of the 9th edition Tyranid codex. It is considered one of the most powerful codexes of all time and had to be nerfed many times before even approaching something resembling balanced. Even in its weakest state it still offers powerful options that no other faction could hope to bring. Of course, he seems to be making up for this with nerfs to Tyranids in 10th.

There is only so much Robin can truly blamed for, so take this with a grain of salt. Be the judge for yourself if the design team has their faults or if they’re just following orders from a more incompetent corporate. Either way, the designers ARE to blame. If they are as incompetent as the suitmen up there, then for this, or if they know that this is wrong, and still did it, then they should have stand up.

[[Category:Writers]][[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]]