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Paragon Warsuit

2022-02-09T10:03:22Z

2001:8003:1D0D:301:5C25:906B:9FAA:D1FA: Take it to the talk page

{{WTF}}

{{Fail}}

[[File:Paragon_Warsuit.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Looks like the [[Dreadknight]] had a daughter the whole time.]]

{{topquote|If its out time to die, it's our time. All I ask is, if we have to give these bastards our lives, ''WE GIVE THEM HELL BEFORE WE DO IT!!!|Matrix Revolutions}}

Urgh...where the fuck do we begin with this bucket of doozy.

The Paragon Warsuit is a new unit released on our virgin eyes on January 2021. A device that straddles the line between [[Power Armour]] and [[Battlesuit|Mecha]], the Paragon Warsuit has garnered...well...let's just say that we have now a metric fuck ton of [[Meme]]s now.

== WTF Am I Looking At!? ==

The thing you seeing here is the new [[Sisters of Battle]] elite unit. This abomination is the first new sister unit since 2003 and it seem to carry on the Imperium's glorious tradition of [[Derp|strapping a fucking baby carrier and pushing them onto the front lines.]] Seriously, what the fuck is up with GW's habit of giving the Imperium fucking baby carriers? First we had the [[Dreadknight]], then the [[Invictor Tactical Warsuit]] and now ''this''. Thanks to this fiasco, we can finally conclude that the design of the Dreadknight may not be [[Matt Ward]]'s fault after all, go on our [[Spiritual Liege]], you're redeemed for now on this case.

And yes we did not have a typo up there. Ask any <s>Beardy</s> Matronly sisters of battle player and they will tell you the sisters of battle have never been one of game workshops favored armies and have over the years received very little support. As such from the Witch Hunter codex released in 2003 the Sisters of battle have not had '''one''' totally new codex option not counting the [[Repressor]], which was forge world not base codex, or special characters. Even the 2020 release had only [[Zephyrim Squad|Zephyrim]] and [[Mortifier|Mortifiers]] as new units, and both were variants of existing units, the [[Seraphim Squad|Seraphim]] and [[Penitent Engine]] respectively. As such the Paragon Warsuit is the first 100% original, not based on any existing unit so-we-can-sell-two-unit-kits option in the sisters line up in almost two decades. . .and. . .look at it.

As you know, ''everyone'' and I mean <u>'''''everyone'''''</u> [[EPIC FAIL|has taken the piss out of this thing.]] From comparisons to either the infamous Dreadknight or Ellen Ripley's loader suit in Aliens, to [[Neckbeard]]s [[Nurgle|projectile vomiting]] on the horrendous design choices such as ''where'' the Sister's feet is meant to go, and even folks [[Lulz|laughing their asses off]] over the fact that after decades of SoB players bitching for new armor, they finally got it in the form of a discount [[FAIL|Centurion warsuit.]]

Suffice to say, this literal walking ergonomic nightmare has become the butt of jokes at the Sisters' expense. [[Khornate Knights|But at least both Sisters and Grey Knight players could finally find something to bond over.]]

The funny thing is that, if GW wanted to give the sororitas some form of heavy support, they could have just gone for other, more plausible options. We do know that regular humans can don terminator armour, we have many examples of inquisitors doing just that, and considering how wealthy the Ecclesiarchy is, getting a special body of terminator-clad SoBs wouldn't be that implausible, even if they don't have the advantage of a black carapace. Another option would be a dreadnought-like design, and while that sounds absurd at first, we have the precedent of SoB dreadnoughts from the Rogue Trader days. Hell, they wouldn't have to go that far, they could use some sort of warsuit akin to the [[Invictor Tactical Warsuit]] that functioned as a dreadnought while being piloted by a regular battle sister. . . I mean that is what the Pargon is really, it just got some design issues that made us laugh like the sister's ostrich legs and that silly little left arm.

So really they would have, you know, just design the warsuit better. Additionally this is part of an annoying trend for GW to force exo-arms on something, which have always been ugly and never looked good.

The Paragon is ''so'' silly that even the ''Regimental Standard'' [https://regimental-standard.com/2021/06/23/5-reasons-why-a-sentinel-is-the-only-warsuit-you-really-need/ pokes fun at it], comparing it very unfavorably to the [[Sentinel]]. It says a lot that some of the [[Imperial Guard|biased]] points they make are actually legitimately valid, such as the fact that there’s no risk of dropping a Sentinel’s weapons in combat when they’re bolted to the chassis itself, and that (Armoured) Sentinel pilots have actual head protection; proving that the Paragon is so stupidly designed that not even blatant Imperial propaganda (or GW itself) can defend it.

On top of everything else, as many of the more [[/m/|/M/anly]] members of /tg/ has commented, it looks like a discount [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landmate Landmate], from Shirow Masamune's works.

==Equipment==
In terms of what these glorified flamingo walkers lug around, the Paragon Warsuit is equipped with firepower to rival a [[Space Marine]] [[Dreadnought]]. Their left arm incorporates a [[Heavy Bolter]], [[Heavy Flamer]], or [[Multi-Melta]] which is augmented by shoulder-mounted secondary weapons consisting of either twin [[Grenade Launcher]]s or [[Storm Bolter]]s. Its right arm wields a melee weapon consisting of a large [[Power weapon#Paragon War Blade|Paragon War Blade]] or [[Power weapon#Paragon War Mace|Paragon War Mace]]. Now, it looks stupid, but if it reaches melee, the poor idiots who failed to bring it down are quite screwed.

== Gallery ==

<gallery>

10hcsed7rcd61.jpg|GW's fetish with baby carriers truly mystifies us.

Sister of Bulk.jpg|Some anons quick photoshop proves that even [[/tg/]] knows how to make better models than [[GW]].

2f67q4lpy4d61.jpg

04xummq71cd61.jpg|HONK HONK!

B2c90rhhb7d61.jpg|Truly indomitable. Bet you can't unsee that now.

F71ilq7so9d61.jpg|Trust us, you don't wannna know.

Go70xetry3d61.png|Even [[Eldrad]] is in agreement. This shit makes the [[Eldar War Walker]] look good.

F90caierz8d61.png| Original character, donut steel.

Gthko9kn44d61.jpg

Tt2f04tkv3d61.jpg|Yeah its basically the Loader from Aliens but all 40k'ed.

Up16qesw55d61.jpg|The baby carrier's baby carrier.

I am your father.jpeg

Csylvtsdu3e61.jpg|Cheeki Breeki edition...

Sob-dreadnought.jpg|...And suddenly grimdark fanart explanation.

Patrick-star-paragon.png|Dem legs.

Kawaiigon-warsuit.jpg|Emprah knows how much kitbashing [https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Sisters_of_Battle#Painting_pretty_Sisters_of_Battle_faces_.28so_they_don.27t_look_like_manly_marines.29 and painting skill will take] to achieve this, we are not sure if they have a back-exoskeleton, use special fibers or those are cybernetic arms, and we can skip over the mechanized high-heels.

Kawaiigon-model.jpg|We leave to the skillful and elegan/tg/entlemen this grand challenge of kitbash and painting.

morvenn_vahl.jpg|And of course [[Morvenn Vahl|the new major character]] has to be in one. At least the personal one looks decent.

</gallery>

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Imperial]]

[[Category: Sisters of Battle]]

[[Category: Vehicles]]

[[Category: Walkers]]

[[Category: FAIL]]

{{Sisters-of-Battle}}

{{40k-Imperial-Vehicles}}

{{40k-Armor}}

Militarum Tempestus

2022-02-09T10:02:44Z

2001:8003:1D0D:301:5C25:906B:9FAA:D1FA: Undo revision 810161 by 178.191.251.54 (talk) Take it to the talk page

[[File:Militarum_Tempestus.jpg|350px|right|thumb|Move over [[Space Marines|Maggots!]] Let the <u>''REAL''</u> guys show you how its done.]]
{{Topquote|I'm ready, man. Check it out! I am the '''ultimate''' badass! State of the badass art! You do '''not''' want to fuck with me. Check it out! Hey, Ripley, don't worry. Me and my squad of ultimate badasses will protect you! Check it out. Independently targeting particle-beam phalanx. WHAP! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missiles, phase plasma pulse rifles, RPGs. We got sonic, electronic '''ball-breakers'''! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks...|Private Hudson, ''Aliens''}}

The '''Ordo Tempestus''', also known as the '''Militarum Tempestus''', is amongst the most rigidly codified of all Imperial organisations, for its men form the backbone of the Astra Militarum. Though the Ordo is technically a sub-faction governed by the [[Administratum|Adeptus Administratum]], it enjoys a unusually far greater level of autonomy than the regiments that often fight alongside it much to the chagrin (and potential penis envy) of said regiments. The Ordo's ranks are primarily comprised of [[Commissar|Commissars]] and Tempestus Scions, though they have often included specialist factions mysteriously absent from Imperial records. In every theatre of war across the galaxy, the Ordo's men work alongside the incalculable might of the [[Astra Militarum]], their elite training complementing the sheer manpower and tanks of the Imperial Guard. And yes, we are aware that if the [[Imperium]] just had the best and brightest of every world put through Stormtrooper training, they'd easily kick the shit out of any threat to tanks and tanks would kick the shit out of everything else and their mothers. Stop using common sense before a Commissar notices.

==Overview==
[[File:Homebrew tempestus regiments.png|left|120px|thumb|How to [[Your Dudes]] stormtrooper regiments. Note that everyone else on /tg/ will be doing Razvedki Scions, so pick something else.]]
If the Tempestus provides the rigid skeleton of discipline that holds the Astra Militarum together, it is the Commissars who are the minds of the operation. The Officio Prefectus or just Commissar with a fancy name in tabletop terms, governs and controls the regiments of [[Stormtrooper|Stormtroopers]] and Imperial Guardsmen alike, ensuring that their military force is put to the right use in the Emperor's name. All Commissars are trusted to improvise new orders on the battlefield, a rare privilege in the rigidly-controlled structure of the Imperial war machine. But it is only the most senior of their number, known as Lord Commissars, who are truly independent. Unlike their more trigger happy cousins, they are warriors of great personal charisma which is the closest thing we have to a reasonable Commissar that is not [[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt]] or [[Ciaphas Cain]] '''*HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!*''', and they will often inspire the men by leading from the front rather than from behind the barrel of a [[Bolt Pistol]].

The Tempestus Scions do not form the main body of the Astra Militarum, for that duty falls to the regular Imperial Guardsmen. Instead, whilst the Guard, Space Marines and Imperial Assassins represent the Hammer, Sword and Poisoned Needle of the [[Emperor]] respectively, the Tempestus and their ilk can be likened to a Knife, a thrusting point of lethal force that is applied with shocking speed into the foes weakest point. Essentially they are in-between that of a Guardsmen and a Space Marine. Many a grinding war of attrition or extended campaign has been brought to a dramatic close by a strike force of Stormtroopers. More often than not, their insertion, mission completion and extraction parameters are all accomplished on the same day.

==Creation==
Exceptionally skilled warriors that are NOT a [[Space Marines|dude in power armor]] that are descended from the very finest of the Imperium's noble bloodlines, (Not necessarily true, they don't all come from nobility, not even most.) both <s>Tempestus Scions</s> Stormtroopers and Commissars obey and enforce the will of their superiors with merciless efficiency. The Imperium holds a million worlds and takes its tithe of military personnel from every single culture within its bounds. Despite this nearly inconceivable scale, the commands issued by the many Imperial authorities must be followed unflinchingly in order for the Imperium to endure; hesitation would result in the swift collapse of the Emperor's realm. Stormtroopers and Commissars are indoctrinated in the Imperial Creed from youth, serving no culture but that of loyalty and the swift execution of their duties...like literally every other human being in the Imperium is supposed to, but presumably actually in practice with Stormtroopers and Commissars. It is they who possess the tenacity and resolve to undertake the toughest missions. [[Get shit done|It is they who get shit done when the guys with balls of adamantium is not enough because they all died heroically.]]

Stormtroopers are disciplined, elite soldiers who fight without question or hesitation until their orders are fulfilled. Commissars are harsh yet inspiring leaders who ensuring that every military objective is achieved -- no matter the cost. Without the iron-willed resolution of both, the Imperium would be severely weakened in its darkest hour.

Tempestus Scions and Commissars are remorseless and efficient killers, but these warriors are not born that way (although ten thousand years of a Darwinian galaxy may have fixed that). They are forged within the [[Schola Progenium|Schola Progenia]] which like all things coming from this place, creates a fine batch of the Emperor's psychotic killers. Would-be recruits are sent to harsh training camps based on long-established Imperial worlds. It is these ancient facilities that are responsible for taking the orphaned offspring of the Imperium and transforming them into ruthless soldiers.

Unfortunately, despite this arduous training, they are disliked and secretly mocked by the average Joe Guardsmen. Usually that's because most Guardsmen get a slight case of penis envy for you having a [[Hellgun|better flashlight]] than they do as well as having access to better armor to allow them to survive more than 10 minutes and weapons that is usually found on the Guard's elite and specialized regiments. Although the Guardsmen insist that they act like pompous asshats, we know it's [[Bullshit|bullshit.]] Honestly, after all their training and indoctrination it's unlikely the Stormtroopers have much of a personality at all. Like [[Death Korps of Krieg|Kriegsmen]] without the death wish. Come to think of it, this is probably very disturbing to normal humans who interact with them so perhaps the accusations of pompousness are just Guardsmen's assumptions as to why the Stormtroopers don't seem to ever talk to them at all.

==On the Tabletop==
There are two things that makes the Militarum Tempestus stand out; the first is that they are a very small (and we mean '''''SMALL'''''), elite army comprised of Stormtroopers. The second is that they have a very limited unit selection choice - seriously, they only have five/six units to choose from (only 2 of these are decent combat units), [[Derp|they don't even have a special character,]] [[What|hell, even the fucking]] ''[[Harlequin|Harlequins]]'' have more unit variety than they do, and that's saying something. That said, the unit hits '''hard'''; with the standard infantry weapon being AP-2, you can put a dent in anything <strike>short of a [[terminator]]</strike> with your basic dudes, and you have [[plasma]] for what you can't. Combined with their ability to spam air power, since they have no other fast attack option, and an army-wide armor save of 4+, the Tempestus hit hard, while not quite being a glass cannon, though still kind of frail. Because of this, you have to choose carefully where you want to play. A Stormtrooper army may be nice, but they still lack sufficient armor support, artillery, and heavy weapons, which means that they are often paired up with the [[Imperial Guard]] to provide cover support. So choose wisely. [[Tl;dr]] they are Imperial [[Dark Eldar]], seriously they play like one. Focus on destroying threats to your armor so your armor can kill everyone else with impunity. Like in real life.

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Imperial Guard(8E)|Tactics/Tempestus Scions]]

{{Imperium}}
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{{Militarum-Tempestus}}