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Bjorn the Fell Handed

2021-02-13T06:31:01Z

2001:8003:648E:7C00:D524:A2D0:3BF7:ADA2: Quote

[[File:The_Fell_Handed.jpg|200px|thumb|right| GET OFF MY FUCKING LAWN!]]
{{topquote|God-Emperor? Calling him a god is why this mess started in the first place.|Bjorn the Fell Handed's apt summary on why [[Horus Heresy|everything went wrong]] in the [[Great Crusade]]}}

{{topquote|Walked, ran, pissed and killed. I did it all. I met the allfather, you know. Fought at his side more than once. I do believe he liked me.|Bjorn the Fell Handed sharing his tales of [[The God-Emperor of Mankind]]}}

'''Bjorn the Fell Handed''' (Imperial Gothic: Bear) is a [[Dreadnought]] of the [[Space Wolves]], and the single oldest loyal Space Marine alive (or, well, at least still in active service. Because, err..., well you know). No relation to Sigmar's dad. Probably.

== About Bjorn ==
[[File:Bjorn of Tra.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Before he lost his hand and became a mobile coffin, this was Bjorn.]]
Bjorn is a Space Marine of the Space Wolves chapter, and (by virtue of almost dying and being interred in a Dreadnought) is the oldest living being in the [[Imperium]] who hasn't turned to [[Chaos]] aside from a bunch of nameless and half-mad Blood Angels Dreadnoughts, after the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Big E]] himself (or rather was until the recent revival of [[Roboute Guilliman]]). He is so old, in fact, that he fought alongside [[Leman Russ]] in battle and even saw the [[Emperor]] before the events of the [[Horus Heresy]], meaning he's been around for at least ten thousand years.

Unlike most characters from the Horus Heresy books, Bjorn didn't start out as an ultimate badass, he was just a Grey Hunter in the Third Great Company, and his first notable action was [[derp|a fuck-up]] where he shot down a remembrancer's shuttle by error. As a 'punishment', he was assigned to keep guard on the guy, and that in turn led him to [[not as planned|ruin the day]] of a Tzeentchian Daemon trying to manipulate things on [[Prospero]]. That's where he lost his arm and first attracted the attention of his leaders.

After that, he and his company had a [[rape|run-in]] with a Khornate Daemon, and Bjorn saw all his battle-brothers get slaughtered. [[Rage|A little angry]] at this, he swore eternal vengeance against the damn bastard and that he would gut him next time, becoming the first [[Lone Wolf]]. And so he did a couple of years later. With extreme prejudice. Beating his [[Leman Russ|Primarch]] to the punch of [[rip and tear|visiting vengeance so unholy]] upon the daemon he's never been seen again for 10.000 years. Even Russ was impressed, so he held Bjorn's oath fulfilled and gave him a place in his [[Wolf Guard]] on the spot.

Following the disappearance of Russ, Bjorn became the first Great Wolf, the Chapter Master of the Space Wolves, until he was injured and placed in a Dreadnought sarcophagus. In light of his advanced years, the majority of his time is spent dormant in stasis, but is awakened every century or so such that the Space Wolves might learn from his ancient wisdom. In practical terms, this means they pester him to tell them stories about Leman Russ. Since Bjorn's only waking hours are universally spent this way (unless there's some battle so big that Bjorn absolutely must be deployed to it like in the first War of Armageddon), he does his best to appear more and more senile every time he is awoken in the dim hope they will eventually stop asking him about the old stories.

"Comedian" George Carlin would have classified Bjorn as an "Old Fuck". It is kind of like a "Fat fuck".

[[Warhammer Fantasy|No relation to that Chaos Marauder chieftain from Slaves to Darkness]] (Also known as the best Chaos story ever).

The Horus Heresy series has supplied some new Bjorn fluff recently. He starts off out of kilter with his Legion- really good at killing shit, but not so much at the whole drunken barbarian thing. Then Prospero happens, he does some cool shit and the ensuing "what have we done" gloom brings the Legion closer to his mood. Then he impresses Russ by trying to solo a Contemptor, and things start to escalate.

Bjorn it turns out is also one of the horniest bastards in the Imperium. There is never not a good time to flirt with pretty ladies in his books, even if they're blanks whose very presence can make the skin of most people crawl like the Sisters of Silence or if he's locked in a fucking Dreadnought and said lady is an Inquisitor. This sort of canonises the old jokes about Bjorn's fondness for bitches, though as of yet it is unknown whether Russ has ever cockblocked him. It is also unknown as to whether any woman took him up on his offers as either a living space marine or a Dreadnought.

== On the Tabletop ==
{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || M || WS || BS || S || T || W || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Bjorn the Fel-Handed:''' || 210 || 8"|| 2+ || 2+ || 7 || 8 || 8 || 5 || 9 || 3+
|}

Bjorn is a venerable dreadnought character who you can select as an HQ choice, which means he can be your warlord. His rules include: ATSKNF, Ancient Tactician (+1 Command Points), Last of the Company of Russ (All Space Wolves within 6" re-roll hit rolls of 1), Legendary Tenacity (5+ Feel No Pain) and Smoke Launchers. He comes base with an assault cannon and Trueclaw, a S+5 AP-4 D6 shred powerclaw with an underslung heavy flamer. He can upgrade his assault cannon to a heavy plasma cannon, helfrost cannon or twin lascannons. His loadout allows him to [[rape|throw heat downrange with his ranged weapon or wreck infantry or vehicles with his trueclaw]].

Additionally, due to being a character with less than 10 wounds, [[Cheese|he cannot be shot at unless he is the closest model to a unit]].

==Tales of Bjorn==
===Storytime with Bjorn the Fellhanded===
The familiar hissing of servos being powered up after decades of idleness filled the echoing sarcophagus he was trying to rest in. As his senses engaged, once more allowing him to see and hear the outside world, the familiar chanting filled his near-dead ears once more.

"Ah, dammit", he thought, "it's that time of the century again".

The language of the Space Wolves' rune priests was a harsh, guttural dialect appropriate for harsh people with excesses of phlegm, and if this lot were like the last lot, that was an accurate description.

Oh well, time to put on the show.

He cleared his throat and prepared his deep, tired voice for use once more. After all, if he made it seem like he was slowly losing his grip on reality, they might let him sleep longer.

"WHO AWAKENS BJORN?" he spoke into the microphone, letting the vox casters on the Dreadnought echo it out into the surrounding room. He could already see who was awakening him - the little gimp with the wolf-pubes for a beard - but he had to follow the ritual, make it look all authentic or they would start asking questions.

"Oh mighty Bjorn, the Fell-Handed-" ahh shit, he hated that nickname, "we awaken thee to help us remember the past, the forgotten and the sacrificed, those who embody the spirit of the Wolf."

Spirit of the Wolf? That bollocks was new. Normally they went on about the spirit of the warrior and shit.

"YOU WISH TO HEAR THE TALES AGAIN, DO YOU?" he recited, having said this shit at least half a dozen times in the past.

"Yes, oh Venerable one, please, tell us." The pube-faced tard and the collection of ugly dipshits behind him bowed in supplication. He really, REALLY hated having to tell all these tales. Imagine being asleep, and only being woken up every few hours to tell stories, then being put back to sleep. That was his fate, and he was starting to get sick of it. And they always wanted to hear about fucking Leman Russ, too. Woe betide any fucker stupid enough to ask about Leman Russ.

"FIND ME AN AUDIENCE OF LOYAL WARRIORS, STRONG AND TRUE, WHO MIGHT WISH TO HEAR THE TALES."

<center>♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦</center>

Gythor was excited. More than excited, he was ecstatic. He was still a Blood Claw, having not yet earned the opportunity to become a fully fledged Grey Hunter in glorious combat, but he was privileged to be one of those alive at the right time to hear the tales of Bjorn, the Fell-Handed. One of the oldest Space Marines still alive, one who saw the Allfather himself! He would hear the glorious tales spoken from the man's own lips - well, vox casters - of great legends that had been fading to the years.

While he waited he shared an ale with his packmates, but a hush settled over the crowd as the heavy footfalls of a Dreadnought could be heard approaching. All eyes turned towards the massive oak doors of the great hall as it approached, step after step, agonizingly slowly. Just when it sounded like it was right outside, the noise stopped. Second after second ticked by, quiet having settled over the room like a blanket over a frightened child. First it was seconds, then it stretched into minutes. Finally a voice down the back of the room spoke up.

"Do we... open the door for him, or someth-" He was interrupted by the door of the great hall, which had stood for a millennium, exploded inwards, shattering into a thousand pieces and flinging themselves at the assembled Space Wolves. The Blood Claws near the door found themselves with cuts from flying wood all over their faces, one collapsing to the ground with a shard of wood the size of his fist embedded in his eye.

"Lucky fucker," thought Gythor, "he's going to get SUCH a fucking cool scar."

"I AM HERE" spoke Bjorn, the words echoing out through the great hall, emerging lifelessly from the vox caster mounted on the Dreadnought. A great cheer rose from the masses of Space Wolves before they chanted their traditional song of joy, repeating the word "Wolf" at varying pitches in an almost orchestral sounding song. For a second Gythor thought he heard the vox casters on the Dreadnought mutter "what the fu-", but he knew such a thing could not be right. Bjorn's voice was as powerful as thunder, a mech like that did not mumble.

The Space Wolves cleared the path for the enormous, venerable Dreadnought to pace down the length of the enormous hall, his pounding footsteps knocking aside ale tankards within a few meters of him as he passed.

Gythor held his breath in excitement as the Dreadnought reached the head of the hall and turned to face the assembled masses.

"TELL ME, OF WHICH STORY DO YOU WISH TO HEAR?" boomed his dead, powerful voice. A thousand responses rose at once, Wolves shouting their answers all together.

The High Rune Priest, who had followed along behind Bjorn without even being noticed, held his hand out for silence. "Brothers, please! You, Grey-Hunter Rynold, you may ask first." The marine singled out rose from his seat, helmet clutched under his arm with pride.

"Noble Bjorn the Fell-handed-" an echoed grunt of annoyance echoed around the hall, but no one seemed to notice, "-tell us more of our glorious founder, tell us of the greatness of Leman Russ himself!" Rynold thrust his free hand into the air as if he had achieved some glorious victory in asking his question. From the cheers of agreement of his fellow marines, many felt he had. As the cheers died off, it took a few seconds to realize Bjorn was silent. He had not yet answered.

The high Rune priest cleared his throat once. "Uh, mighty Bjorn, do you need the question repea-"

"YOU COCKSUCKERS" bellowed the noble dreadnought. Silence answered his words, until a few of the long fangs near the front of the hall started chuckling, obviously thinking it was a joke. "DON'T FUCKING LAUGH. DO I SOUND LIKE I'M MAKING A JOKE?!" Again, silence answered his words. "SERIOUSLY, I'M WOKEN UP ONCE A FUCKING HUNDRED YEARS TO TELL YOU FUCKERS OF THE PAST, AND EACH TIME I SEE YOU, YOU'VE FUCKED OVER HISTORY EVEN WORSE THAN IT WAS BEFORE!! LEMAN RUSS WAS AN ASSHOLE!"

Again, silence. The Rune Priest cleared his throat. "Perhaps we should allow noble Dreadnought Bjorn some more rest, shall w-"

"NO, ENOUGH FUCKING REST. YOU ARE ALL GOING TO HEAR ABOUT WHY LEMAN RUSS WAS A FUCKING DICK. SERIOUSLY. A DICK. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M CALLED 'THE FELL-HANDED'? HUH? DO YA? THE FUCKER CAUGHT ME JERKING OFF BEHIND A BIG ROCK ONE NIGHT ABOUT TWENTY METERS FROM THE REST OF THE DETACHMENT! HE KICKED THE ROCK AWAY AND SHOUTED, 'LO, IT SEEMS HE IS BESTING A MIGHTY FELL-BEAST WITH ONLY HIS HAND!'"

Again, silence. This time broken by a slight snickering from some of the younger Blood Claws.

"I FUCKING HEARD THAT, YOU CUNTS. YOU FUCKING WOLF FUCKERS. YEAH, DON'T THINK I DON'T NOTICE YOUR GROWING OBSESSION WITH WOLVES. SERIOUSLY, WHEN I WAS AROUND WE WERE JUST CRAZY FUCKERS WHO RIPPED OUT OUR ENEMIES' THROATS WITH OUR TEETH. NOW YOU'RE FUCKING RIDING WOLVES INTO BATTLE. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE YOU CAN RIDE INTO BATTLE? FUCKING BIKES! MAYBE EVEN A FUCKING BIKE THAT HAS GUNS ATTACHED!"

Silence dominated the room in between Bjorn's words. A few of the Wolf-riders cleared their throats nervously and patted their wolf companions, all of whom had a thousand yard stare and the haunted look of molestation victims.

"YOU FUCKERS THINK YOU KNOW LEMAN RUSS? THE GUY WAS A DOUCHE. HIS STRATEGIES WERE 'YEAH, YOU GUYS GO CHARGE THE ENEMY, I'LL SECURE THIS SHACK WITH THESE BITCHES', AND HE WASN'T TALKING ABOUT FEMALE WOLVES."

The high rune priest held his head in his armored hands for a second, before standing up once more. "Mighty Bjorn, perhaps we shou-"

"HE WAS TALKING ABOUT WOMEN. YOU KNOW WHY HE HATED... WHAT'S HIS NAME, THE DARK ANGELS. THAT GEEK, WHAT WAS HIS NAME AGAIN?"

The Rune Priest, now resigned to this being the second worst Bjorn story-time ever, answered, "Lion El'Jonson, mighty Bjorn."

"YEAH, FUCKING LION EL', HE WAS A DECENT MAN. HE AND LEMAN HATED EACH OTHER BECAUSE LION ENJOYED BOOKS. YEAH, THAT'S IT. FIRST TIME THEY EVER MET HE WAS READING A BOOK, LEMAN WALKED IN AND SHOUTED 'HEY, I'M LOOKING FOR MY BROTHER PRIMARCH, ALL I SEE IS A BOOK-READING PUSSY'. THEN HELD HIS HAND OUT TO BE BRO-FISTED. NO ONE DID, SO HE SUCKER-PUNCHED LION TO LOOK TOUGH."

Again, only silence, this time broken by the sound of an ale tankard being dropped from numb fingers.

"YEAH, THE GUY WAS A CUNT. WHEN THEY SHOWED HIM THE SCHEMATICS FOR THE LEMAN RUSS TANK, YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID? HE SAID 'MAKE THE CANNON BIGGER... LIKE MY COCK!' HE DEMANDED THE SCHEMATICS FOR THE PREMIERE TANK OF THE IMPERIAL GUARD BE ALTERED PURELY SO HE COULD MAKE A DICK JOKE!"

The servos of Bjorn's mighty armoured sarcophagus whirred into life as he suddenly started forward, his pounding feet bringing him back towards the door he burst in from. He did not stop as he crushed his way through a two-millennia-old table, and Space Wolves scattered out of his way with each thudding footstep. The entire assembled chapter watched in amazement as the Dreadnought sulked off, stopping only at the door to turn and speak once.

"IF YOU FUCKERS WAKE ME AGAIN, IT BETTER BE TO KILL SOMETHING OR ASK ABOUT ACTUAL HEROES, NOT BITCH-STEALING ASSHOLES." And with that, Bjorn walked away, followed by hastily-running Rune Priests.

[[Image:Warhammer_40k_dreadnought_bjorn_1920x1200.jpg|600px|thumb|right|See those Power Claws? They're not just for show.(You would think so, with those bits of [[Thousand Sons]] Hanging off of them.)]]

----

=== Bjorn's Happy End ===
Slowly his thoughts arose from their centuries of slumber once more. Chemical stimulants pumped in through the tubes connected to his sarcophagus and washed away the residual grogginess of stasis sleep. The sound of servos activating, lifting his armored shell from its resting position into an upright stance, heralded the sudden explosion of light that filled his vision before clarifying into a familiar scene. Apothecaries and TechMarines stood before him, data-slates and tools in their hands, and one white-haired marine ahead of all the rest in the center of his field of view. The decorations on his armor identified him as Brother-Captain. Something seemed a touch unusual about the whole scenario, but he couldn't quite put his power claw on it. No matter. It seemed the time had come again.

“WHO AWAKENS BJORN?” he rumbled through the Dreadnought’s speakers. “IS IT TIME FOR WAR?” he added hopefully.

“It is indeed time for war, mighty Bjorn,” the Captain responded. “We have awakened you to do battle with our foes!”

“FIGURES. IT’S NEVER TIME FOR – WAIT, WHAT?”

There was a stunned silence from all in the room. It lasted a few seconds before the Brother-Captain broke it by clearing his throat.
“Uhm, yes, ancient one, it is time for war. That-that’s not a problem is it?”

Bjorn did not respond for another several moments. When he did, his words were slow and uncertain.
“YOU…DON’T WANT ME TO TELL YOU TALES OF THE OLD TIMES? OF LEMAN RUSS?”

“I… I suppose you could, but to be honest, venerable warrior, it is your skill in combat that we were hoping you would display.”

Again, a pause. A pair of apothecaries at the back of the group began to mutter to each other.
“Did we get the ritual wrong?”
“I heard them say he was going senile… he probably doesn't even remember what he’s supposed to do-“

A sudden booming noise echoed around the armory chamber. It was a moment before anyone realized that the sound was that of laughter, issuing forth from the Dreadnaught’s speakers.

“VERY WELL!” Bjorn announced, once his fit of chuckling had subsided. “I SHALL DO BATTLE ONCE MORE!”
The worried expressions on the faces of the assembled Marines immediately turned to smiles and relief.

“Of course, great one!” grinned the Captain. “It will be an honour to fight at your side!”
Bjorn was ecstatic. He was being awoken to actually fight, nobody wanted him to tell stories about fucking Leman Russ, and not once so far had anyone referred to him by his Emperor-forsaken full title. This century was shaping up well so far! If this luck kept up, they’d be celebrating their upcoming victories in battle with a complete sacred machine-oil application administered by a pair of Adepta Sororitas –

“Uhm, mighty one? You sort of zoned out for a moment there… something about [[TWINS THEY WERE|twins]]?”

“WHAT? NOTHING. WHEN DO WE FIGHT!?” Bjorn demanded, changing the subject quickly. “LEAD ME TO OUR SHIPS THAT WE MIGHT TRAVEL TO WHEREVER OUR ENEMIES DWELL!”

“We are already aboard our Battle Barge and orbiting our target,” the Captain informed him. “In a short space of time we will be in position to drop assault pods and initiate the battle. If you would follow me to the pod bays, we shall prepare to depart immediately.”
Ah! So they were already aboard a vessel, and not in the fortress as he had expected. No wonder the situation had seemed unusual when he awoke, for he realized he did not recognize his surroundings. Bjorn approved; anxious to fight as he was, the prospect of a lengthy and boring voyage to the field of battle would not have been a welcome one. With a hiss and a whir, his Dreadnought’s motor systems roared into life and he made to follow the Brother-Captain.

“LEAD ON, BROTHER. I DO NOT RECOGNIZE THIS VESSEL NOR KNOW ITS LAYOUT. WHICH SHIP HAS THE FORTUNE OF CARRYING US INTO BATTLE?”

The Captain mumbled something quietly and the other assembled marines looked nervously at each other.

“BROTHER, I HAVE SEEN THE PASSING OF TEN MILLENNIA AND MY HEARING IS NOT WHAT IT ONCE WAS. PLEASE SPEAK UP.”

“We – we are aboard the Litany of Fury, ancient one.”

“HM. A NEW ADDITION TO THE FLEET, IT SEEMS. THE CHAPTER IS DOING WELL. AND SURPRISINGLY CLEAN!” Bjorn remarked, looking upon the gleaming surfaces where hazy red reflections of his and the other Marines’ armor could be seen. “I EXPECTED EVERYTHING TO BE COVERED IN WOLF SHI- RED. WHY AM I RED?”

“Oh, shit.” Muttered a Tech-Marine, before one of his companions poked him in the side with a mechadendrite.

The Brother-Captain turned to glare at him for a moment before turning back to Bjorn.
“Why wouldn't you be red, revered Bjorn? Red has always been the colour of our chapter –“

“SILENCE!” Bjorn commanded, and the group fell quiet. Bjorn took a few steps over to a convenient nearby bulkhead and experimentally scraped one of his arms against the surface before rotating it into his field of view. A familiar bright blue could be seen peeking out from the scratched layer of red paint applied over it.

Now, Bjorn had indeed lived for longer than any other in the Imperium could claim, and the priests of the Space Wolves all believed the long years had driven him senile, but in truth his mental faculties were as sharp as they had ever been. Sometimes, however, they simply needed time to warm up after a long rest. He turned to face the red-armored group, noting the bird and blood drop iconography featured on their shoulder-plates and the banners adorning the room.

“Now, mighty Bjorn, we can explain,” the Captain began, but Bjorn silenced him with a shout.

“SHUT UP! I’M THINKING.”

This was not something they had expected. All stood worriedly as they waited for Bjorns thoughts to reach a conclusion.

“…HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT WOLVES?”

There was some conferral. Eventually the Brother-Captain stepped forward again and said “We… are… neutral on the subject of wolves?”

“GOOD. I HATE THE FUCKING THINGS.”

Bjorn leaned forward, as much as was possible for a Dreadnought to do, until he teetered precariously over the Brother-Captain and the slightest tremor from the engines of the ship risked condemning the unfortunate marine to a crushing death. He spoke.

“NO WOLVES. NO QUESTIONS ABOUT LEMAN RUSS. ABSOLUTELY NO REFERENCES TO FELL HANDS. ANYBODY WHO ASKS ME A QUESTION ABOUT THE OLD TIMES IS GOING TO BE USED AS PAINT TO HELP FIX THIS SHITTY JOB YOU’VE DONE ON ME,” Bjorn rumbled. “THOSE ARE MY TERMS. AGREE AND I’LL PRETEND NOT TO NOTICE WHAT YOU THIEVING LITTLE BASTARDS HAVE DONE. DEAL?”

The Captain nodded frantically.

“GOOD. NOW WHERE ARE THE FUCKING ASSAULT PODS?” Bjorn demanded, spinning his power claw and returning to a normal stance, mirth creeping back into his voice. This could turn out to be a very good century indeed.
[[File:Bjorn_The_Fell-Handed_pic.jpg|400px|thumb|left|Bjorn, ten thousand years ago. Ladies, take a number.]]

=== Bjorn's Happy End-2 ===
"YOU COCKSUCKERS" bellowed the noble Dreadnought. Silence answered his words, until a few of the scouts near the front of the hall started chuckling, obviously thinking it was a joke. "DON'T FUCKING LAUGH. DO I SOUND LIKE I'M MAKING A JOKE?!" Again, silence answered his words. "SERIOUSLY, I'M WOKEN UP ONCE A FUCKING HUNDRED YEARS TO TELL YOU FUCKERS OF THE PAST, AND EACH TIME I SEE YOU, YOU'VE FUCKED OVER HISTORY EVEN WORSE THAN IT WAS BEFORE!! OUR PRIMARCH WAS AN ASSHOLE!"

Again, silence. Gabriel Angelos cleared his throat. "Perhaps we should allow miraculously recovered Davian Thule some more rest, shall we?"

"NO, ENOUGH FUCKING RE~ YES. SOME MORE REST, INDEED."

=== Stormfangs ===
"AT THIS POINT, ORNAMENTS AND FILIGREE SOUND FUCKING PEACHY KEEN. BRING BACK THE GILDED RUNES AND SHIT. DRESS ME UP LIKE THAT FUCKING PONCE FULGRIM. JUST LET ME DO BATTLE"

The tech-adepts sighed collectively. This was the worst Story Time with Bjorn anyone could remember. He hadn't even answered the questions senior wolf-lords had asked him.

"YOU STUPID FUCKERS", Bjorn continued, "COVERING EVERYTHING WITH WOLVES. RIDING WOLVES INTO BATTLE. HOWLING AND CHASING STICKS. DO YOU THINK THAT THE WOLF FRIGHTENS THE ENEMIES OF MANKIND?"

Several newer recruits, deafened by Bjorn's tirade and trying to avoid his visor's angry glare, nodded furiously, tongues hanging out and hair bristled.

"YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN WHAT WE ARE. WE ARE ASTARTES! SPACE FUCKING MARINES! GENE-FORGED, BATTLE-HARDENED, IMMORTAL SLAYERS OF MORTALS. THE ENEMIES OF MANKIND ARE NOT AFRAID OF TRAINED BEASTS. THEY SHOULD FEAR US."

Ah, what was the use? They'd forget it all soon anyway, go back to molesting their hairy friends and howling at the moon. They'd be using wolves to pull fucking chariots next. At least the madness hadn't reached all parts of his beloved chapter. The Thunderhawks hadn't been renamed Thunderwolves, at least the last time he....

"WHAT IS THAT?"

The tech-adepts coughed and fidgeted. One ventured a glance at Bjorn and responded.

"What is what, honored lord?"

"THAT... THING ON THE LANDING PAD. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THAT?"

"The noble Stormfang gunship, honoured lord? It has been part of the chapter's armory since..."

"ANOTHER FUCKING WORD AND I WILL TURN YOU INTO A SOUP CAN, TECH-PRIEST. THAT... THING IS NEW. IT IS NEW AND IT LOOKS LIKE A WOLF'S HEAD."

Bjorn tried to remember the names of the great flying machines of his age. Something about this new craft was familiar...

"YOU FUR-FUCKING FUCKERS CUT A CAESTUS ASSAULT RAM IN HALF, DIDN'T YOU? YOU CUT IT IN HALF AND BOLTED SOME ENGINES AND A FUCKTON OF WOLF SYMBOLS TO IT."

Most of the tech-adepts had quietly disappeared, but a few remained, and denied the accusation with desperate, quiet words as Bjorn stalked towards them.

"OH NO? NOT YOU. THEN."

"The Blood Ravens chapter, honoured lord. They said it was a gift."

"THOSE FUCKING MAGPIES. THEY NEVER GIVE GIFTS. WHAT DID THEY TAKE IN RETURN?"

"Honoured lord, the Blood Ravens were kind enough to accept our disused battle-bikes in trade."

"WHAT!"

"Most of Chapter prefers to ride into battle on their wolves, my lord, and so the bikes are no loss."

"WHAT ELSE."

"They... they also took several Vindicator tanks and a few relics from our armory."

"SON OF A SHIELDWOMAN'S SPAWN, YOU FUCKERS THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD TRADE?"

"My lord, the Chapter as a whole approved it. In the words of Blood Claw Firegar, 'It looks just like a wooooooOAAAAUUUUGH!"

Bjorn stalked back towards the stasis vaults and cryo-tanks, dead tech-adept in hand. He needed a nap. A long, quiet nap. When he woke up, he quietly hoped the whole Chapter would be extinct or too bestial to fight. Then he'd have some peace and quiet.

=== [[Wulfen]] ===
The rhythmic thumping kept heightening until he could no longer ignore it. With great reluctance he finally pulled himself out of the artificial slumber.

His memories may have faded, and much of it outright disappeared, but he remembered. He remembered how it had been the last few times these wolf fuckers had called him back from the restful darkness. Bjorn desperately wished to remember his glory of old; the crusades with Leman Russ; the great enemies he felled. Instead all he could clearly remember was the howling idiots, the wolf talismans and the wolf blades and how they had tacked wolf in front of half the armoury's items. He remembered how loudly he'd laughed when the Iron Priests had told him of the thunderwolves; from the dreadnought's speakers it had sounded like booming thunder. The degenerates interpreted that as a sign of his approval.

But what made Bjorn truly sorrowful is that by now he had gotten used to it. They would wake him up. He'd play along and perform the theatrics. These were what remained of the Space Wolves and he'd just have to accept it. At this point what could these wolf-idiots possibly do that would bother hi-

"NO" crackled out from the speakers. The nearby servitors winced in pain.

Bjorn looked around his throne room. "NO" he said again. "NO NO NO WHAT HAVE YOU FUCKERS DONE". He glanced up and saw the hanging wolf pelts. He glanced right and saw the gigantic wolf statues. He glanced left and saw a wolf marking its territory and two more mating. He glanced down and saw the pathway had been etched with wolf heads and lighted by candles in wolf heads. The throne room was his last bastion of comfort and these blithering animals had renovated its austere space with all of the wolf imagery that they could muster. Bjorn gave the room another quick look around. Where were his battle trophies? Did the fuckers throw away his trophies?

"Hail, mighty Bjorn!" came from next to him. Finally he noticed the Iron Priest that had been standing by his side since he woke up. The motherfucker was wearing so many wolf skulls on his armor that he had difficulty moving his head to look up at the dreadnought. "We have need of you once again!"

The dreadnought remained perfectly still. Inside Bjorn's fleshy remains were banging weakly against the metal frame. The Iron Priest took the silence as a sign of Bjorn's attention. "Our long-lost brothers have returned, scattered across the galaxy."

"WHO" said Bjorn, a hint of curiosity in his voice. Brothers returning? If they were old, perhaps they might be less... tainted. Truer to the roots of the legion.

"The Wulfen, brother Bjorn! The Wulfen have returned to us. See for yourself." With a few clicks on his data-slate, the Iron Priest sent multiple holo-picts to the dreadnought's systems for Bjorn to review.

There was a pause, and then Bjorn took a step forward. And then another, and another. Bjorn kept walking, out of the throne room and then out of The Fang. He kept walking into the raging snowstorm and no one ever saw him again.

===Bjorn the Fell Handed: [[Warhammer 40,000 8th edition|Dark Imperium]]===
"I HAVE AWOKEN, IS IT TIME FOR WA-... [[Primaris Marines|WERE YOU LOT ALWAYS THIS BIG?]]"

===Bjorn the Fell Handed: Dark Imperium, Part II===
"Yvraine huh? [https://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Priorities_ba536b_6833904.jpg Does she have a wraith sister?]"

== External Links ==
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/13552516/ This is Bjorn's story as it was ORIGINALLY posted to 4chan, replete with grammar errors, replies, praise, etc. Also, if you have questions or are puzzled by the stories, this link should illuminate things significantly.]
* [http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Bjorn_the_Fell-Handed Bjorn the Fell-Handed is NOT exclusively a creation of /tg/ and the Warhammer 40k fandom! Click here to read about his role in the Warhammer 40k universe as originally contrived!]

{{Marines-Characters}}

[[Category:Space Wolves]]
[[Category:Space Marines Chapter Masters]]

Ecclesiarchy

2021-02-13T06:26:39Z

2001:8003:648E:7C00:D524:A2D0:3BF7:ADA2:

[[File:Cathedral.jpg|right|thumb|500px|The Imperium spares no expense on its houses of worship, unfortunately we can't say the same about civilian accommodations...]]
{{Topquote|Hence Theocracy is the worst of all governments. If we must have a tyrant, a robber baron is far better than an inquisitor. The baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity at some point may be sated; and since he dimly knows he is doing wrong he may possibly repent. But the inquisitor who mistakes his own cruelty and lust of power and fear for the voice of Heaven will torment us infinitely more because he torments us with the approval of his own conscience and his better impulses appear to him as temptations.|[[C. S. Lewis]]}}

{{Topquote|His natural prejudices assumed the priesthood to fall into a small number of categories: old, mad, dissolute, fanatical or a delightful combination of any of them.|[[Roboute Guilliman]]'s high opinion of Imperial priests.}}

{{Topquote|God-Emperor? Calling him a god was how all this mess started.|[[Bjorn the Fell Handed]]'s opinion on how times have changed.}}

{{Topquote|Thought for the day: blind faith is a just cause.}}

The Adeptus Ministorum, or '''Ecclesiarchy''', is the state church of the [[Imperium of Man]] and works with the [[Inquisition]], making it ''the'' group which defines [[heresy]]. The name is derived from the Greek ''Ecclesia'', literally meaning Church but more generally "gathering" or "society" and specifically reffering to ancient Greek city councils. Like a bunch of classical civic terminology it was coopted by the church.

When the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor of Mankind]] began setting up the Imperium, he began instituting the [[Imperial Truth]], which basically said "there are no gods and we're doing materialism and rationalism now" to starve the Chaos Gods of power from human worship. Yet even during the Great Crusade people began worshiping the Emperor as a "God-Emperor", including his own son [[Lorgar]], who wrote the Lectitio Divinatatus. Which, ironically, proved effective at causing pain to daemons when lines from it were spoken to them (since the Emperor had it backwards; faith and religion didn't give the Chaos Gods power, faith and religion towards ''other things'' besides Chaos actually starved Chaos of power). Suitably embarrassed, the Emperor politely informed Lorgar to stop that... by having the [[Ultramarines]] destroy a city the [[Word Bearers]] set up and then forcing Lorgar to bow down to Himself, [[Malcador the Sigillite]], and [[Roboute Guilliman]] in front of his legion. In an unfathomable and completely-impossible-to-predict act of [[Heresy]], this would lead to Lorgar worshiping the [[Chaos Gods]] and starting the [[Horus Heresy]].

[[File:Activate_Rosariuses!.gif|right|thumb|500px|The Emperor Protects!]]

And Roboute Guilliman is back, and he does not like the Ecclesiarchy (though it's their fundamentalism and fondness of luxury that Guilliman has issues with, not so much theism and religion itself, considering that even he started considering that Emprah might be a god (or at least became one since he got attached to the Port-a-Potty lighthouse) and started reading the Lectitio Divinitatus (and not just any copy, but one from before the Horus Heresy). Lorgar would be proud, no doubt; note his permissiveness of the Adeptus Mechanicus and Omnissiah, and his alliance with the Ynnari, agents of an avatar of the Eldar god of death). However the words of Cawl, Celestine and several others have convinced him of its necessity to the Imperium in its current state.

==The Church Itself==

The Ecclesiarchy itself is, officially at least, the one true faith of the God-Emperor. It is the organization dedicated to teaching His truths and His will to the vast masses of humanity, and all are united under its banner. Therefore, no matter where you go in the Imperium, the Cult of The Emperor can be found uniting its masses under His benevolent rule. The reality, of course, is a bit more complex. The problem is that the Imperium is vast. Like, really vast. So much so that no one really knows how big it is, and an empire that big couldn't even begin to manage a galaxy wide faith. Therefore, what actually happens is that the Church of the God-Emperor is split into many faiths that don't actually resemble each other in any way.

On some worlds, the Emperor is worshiped as a distant father, watching over his children from far away. Others associate Him with a force of nature, believing that the wind is His voice and when He is angry He shouts at them causing great winds. Others assign some sort of totem animal, usually a predatory bird, that is considered sacred in His eyes. Some practice hymns and chants that wouldn't be out of place in our modern age, others prefer ritualistic dances and animal sacrifices. Despite all these varied and at times bizarre forms of faith, one thing is certain; there is only one god, only one Emperor, and they are one and the same.

The Ecclesiarchy attempts to promote and maintain the Cult of The Emperor wherever it can, if it is possible, to shape the local faith into something a bit more orthodox. As such, any planet with an Ecclesiarchal presence will eventually begin to resemble other faiths. Chapels will be built, a hierarchy of priests will emerge (what that hierarchy or even the priests will look like is a different thing altogether), and more extreme or shocking practices slowly weeded out or shaped into different forms. Even human sacrifice is re-purposed for the Emperor's benefit, as a culture that practices such things is much more willing to give up psykers to the Black Ships. It also helps that the Ecclesiarchy is willing to take the very slow, very long conversion route and accept even remote or vague Emperor worship under different names (such as Fenris's Allfather view of Him) so long as they follow a few basic rules. Very much like how the Imperium itself is structured, really.

Ironically, this makes the Ecclesiarchy oddly tolerant and open minded as they travel across worlds. They are trained to see past the individual beliefs to examine the core of the faiths they encounter, and therefore are unexpectedly tolerant of opposing sects, where more close minded citizens would be quick to denounce them as heretics and traitors. After all, the Emperor is a wise and benevolent god who loves all his subjects regardless of who they are, and the Ecclesiarchy follows His example. Seeing as the average citizen does ''not'' view other forms of Emperor-worship as heretical or blasphemous, someone must be at least somewhat educating them on the idea that any form of Emperor worship is acceptable if the Ecclesiarchy (*cough*Inquisition*cough*) approves of it and so should they or else ''they're'' the dirty heretic and will be "corrected", although this doesn't stop religious civil wars from being waged on occasion which nicely explains why Sisters of Battle might be fighting ''other'' Sisters of Battle.

The one area the Ecclesiarchy tends to butt heads is with the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]]. On the surface, the Cult of the Machine God runs completely counter to worship of the God-Emperor, especially since the Mechanicus' religion predates the Imperial Cult (and the Imperium itself) by a few millenia. However, there is little that the Ecclesiarchy can do about it, since 1. The Treaty of Mars guarantees not only autonomy, but religious exemption to the Mechanicus, and 2. Pissing off the Mechanicus is a bad idea since they control all the ships and tech. Because going to war with half of the Imperium would be monumentally stupid, they came up with a compromise that the Emperor is the physical avatar of the Machine God, bringing the Mechanicus closer in line to the Imperial Cult. This compromise isn't very satisfying for the more extreme fanatics on both sides, which can and does form conflict between the institutions beyond the political strife of two powerful organizations arguing over jurisdiction but at least it prevents the Thirty Years War: Galaxy Wide Edition.

Less tense are the relations between the Ecclesiarchy and the [[Adeptus Astartes]]; Most Space Marines, the Black Templars excluded, do not officially embrace the Imperial Cult, having followed the older [[Imperial Truth]] that the Cult eventually supplanted. Instead most view the Emperor as a father figure than as a God. The Ecclesiarchy allows this since, in a manner of speaking, it's true that the Emperor is their father and they're not stupid enough to start a holy war against one of the most powerful military assets the Imperium has to offer; not to mention that few priests have the sheer balls to argue faith with a ten foot tall giant in heavy armor, although anyone else who denies the divinity of the Emperor is fair game. Well, that and claiming that the Emperor's own Angels can't view him as a man and not a god would be blatant heresy so their own followers would rip them to shreds with their bare-hands. Still, as a show of good faith, the Ecclesiarchy presents [[Rosarius|Rosariuses]] to [[Chaplain]]s to demonstrate the supposed relationship between the Imperial Cult and the ancient spiritual traditions of the Astartes. The only exemption are the Iron Fathers of the [[Iron Hands]], who worship the Machine God of the Mechanicus instead, something that bitterly annoys the Ecclesiarchy.

==History==
After the Emprah was hooked up to the Golden Throne, it was inevitable that various cults and sects would form in his wake. Over time many of these groups would fight, absorb, fade and/or coalesce into a somewhat stabilised organisation that was called the '''Cult of the Saviour Emperor''', which emerged out of this conflict as the eminent religious group in the Imperium. In M32 the cult managed to install its Ecclesiarch as a member of the [[High Lords of Terra]] and establishing itself as a genuine power player in Imperial politics, creating what became the state religion known as the '''Adeptus Ministorum'''.

It is important to note that prior to this, the Imperium ''was'' a secular state and it had taken nearly two thousand years for the shift towards forming a religious state to become a reality; but even then only two thirds of the Imperium followed the teachings of the Temple of the Saviour Emperor ''(Astartes and Mechanicus excepted)'', the rest either didn't get the memo, or followed one of the various other cults and groups, including the '''Confederation of Light''', which was the only serious contender to the Temple. Therefore one of the early acts of the new Ecclesiarch was to get the High Lords of Terra to agree to eradicate the [[Heresy|"spiritual threat"]] and declare the first War of Faith, eventually crushing the Confederation and forcing its remnants into hiding.

===Age of Apostasy===
{{Main|Age of Apostasy}}

The Ecclesiarchy was able to seize real political power around M36 in the wake of the [[Nova Terra Interregnum]]; after secular politics failed to reunite the twin empires of the Imperium, the Imperial Cult was able to leverage the widespread religious belief in the Emperor to bring Nova Terra back into the fold. However, this did not go smoothly; the Cataclysm of Souls resulted in vast amounts of bloodshed for anyone who rejected the Imperial Cult. This paved the way for the Age of Apostasy, when rival factions within the Imperial Cult battled for control of the church.

The Ecclesiarch, the head of the Ministorum, eventually supplanted the Master of the [[Administratum]] ''(the guy who actually runs the government)'' as head of the Council. To show just how much power they could wield, the Ecclesiarchy moved from Terra to Ophelia VII at great expense, leaving Terra to rot, then moved back once they felt that they made their point. This is a reference to real life, a similar period of time when the Pope moved the Holy See from Rome to Avignon and later moved it back in a clusterfuck which for complex reasons ultimately culminated in three different people claiming to be Pope at the same time.

After that, the Ecclesiarchy did what every powerful group does: become more interested in its own power than the people they're supposed to be ministering, and public funds and taxes ended up funneling their way into the church, religious officials were making decisions on national policy and the like, since the Ecclesiarchy figured that the church and the state should be pretty much the same thing. The Ecclesiarchy also had a standing army called the '''Frateris Templar''' which stood apart from the [[Imperial Guard]], but was presumably bad-ass considering how wealthy the church was at the time.

=== Reign of Blood ===
Things took a major turn for the worse when '''[[Goge Vandire]]''', the Master of the Administratum, became Ecclesiarch at the same time, making himself the single most powerful person in the Imperium and started the Reign of Blood. Even by 40k standards this guy was nutters: He convinced an all-female sect called the "Daughters of the Emperor" ([[Daughters of Terra|No, not them...]]) to rename themselves the "Brides of the Emperor" and become his bodyguards, they were also given the ''"finest weapons and armour"'' that the Administratum and the Ecclesiarchy could provide, which probably meant they were far better equipped than the later Sisters of Battle ever were.

He also instituted big brother policies of having [[Servo-skull]]s on every street corner listening for sedition, and engaged in mass executions/pillaging for the lulz, such as virus bombing planets, enslaving all female civilians of certain planets below the age of 12, melting polar ice caps etc, all the while claiming that he heard the voice of the Emperor himself.

A "rogue" preacher named [[Sebastian Thor]] and his "heretical" sect ''(the Confederation of Light who had been in hiding for around four thousand years)'', supported by a couple of Space Marine Chapters and the Adeptus Mechanicus, went "fuck this" and invaded Terra to remove Vandire from the throne (so to speak). To the surprise of all present (except the Brides/Daughters), the defenders not only held off the invaders, but actually managed to give them a real beating. Before things got out of hand, the Adeptus Custodes took the leader of the Daughters to the Golden Throne to have a chat with the Emperor. She got insanely pissed off by something that happened there and cut off Vandire's head.

===Thorian Reformation===

Afterwards, Thor didn't actually sit still and started travelling the Imperium to put things back together again and preaching the Emperor's good name. Once Terra had recovered, they had only one person in mind for the job of Ecclesiarch: Thor, but he refused to come back until the Imperium [[What|declared him a traitor]] and sent an army to collect him.

Back at the Imperial Palace, the Captain of the Custodes took him aside for a quiet word, and told him that he should either take the job or end up [[Blam|vanished]]. Thus, as the newly appointed Ecclesiarch, Thor started the Thorian Reformation, in which the Temple of the Saviour Emperor was supplanted by Thor's Confederation of Light. The Ecclesiarchy was stripped of all military power and the '''Frateris Templar''' had their funding cut and were reduced to the '''Frateris Militia''' which were not allowed to be paid or trained under the Ecclesiarchy's budget, but, fortunately for them, since they were specifically banned from keeping "''men'' under arms", they [[Rules lawyers|reformed]] the Daughters into the [[Sisters of Battle|Battle Sisters]] of the Adepta Sororitas. Why aren't women covered under "''men'' under arms" since "men under arms" is a euphemism for soldier? Because Imperial Bureaucracy, if there's a possible loophole somewhere, someone's going to exploit it, obeying only the literal letter of the law and (ironically in this case) not the spirit.

The [[Inquisition]] also set up the [[Witchhunters|Ordo Hereticus]] to make sure no one deviated from these new rules. As well as giving rise to the '''Thorian''' faction of puritans, who believe that the Emperor used Thor as a vessel for his power and intent, and now search for other similar vessels as a means of potentially resurrecting the Emperor.

The reformed Ecclesiarchy is only slightly less corrupt and divorced from reality as it was before; but now they feel guilty and beat themselves -and everyone they minister to- about it! Occasionally, they even try (and fail) to fix it!

==Temple Tendency==

{{Main|Temple Tendency}}

Sadly, some people are still ''particularly'' abusive, and these people are accused of having a "temple tendency." Additionally, there's an ''actual'' heretical cult called the Temple Tendency. They believe the Confederation of Light are the ''real'' heretics and secretly preach their creed in the hopes of turning back the clock. Their preachers are generically known as Vandiran Apostates or Shade Priests, which are much cooler names than "Confessor." Given their nature as a heretical religion stamped out by the ruling church of the Imperium, they operate in small, localized cells that don't seem to have much contact with one another, so who knows how heretical they might actually have become?

==Organisation==

At the top of the organisation is the Ecclesiarch himself, who is essentially the '''Space Pope''' and the equal-second (after the Master of the [[Administratum]] and along with the Fabricator-General of [[Mars]]) most influential individual in the entire Imperium.

Beneath him are the '''Cardinals''' of the '''Holy Synod'''. Although there are Cardinals all over the Imperium, each ruling their own Diocese ''(which is the religious equivalent to a '''sector''' in terms of size, but not organised the same way)'' the Holy Synod of Terra has a conclave of Cardinals who assist the Ecclesiarch in making religious decisions. Also, occasionally one of the members of the Holy Synod gets a seat on the [[High Lords of Terra]], which is essentially giving the Ecclesiarchy more influence in Imperial affairs (particularly if the Abbess of the Adepta Sororitas gets a seat at the same time)

Beneath the Cardinals it moves downwards through the varying ranks of preachers, clerics, bishops, vicars, abbots, ministers, confessors all the way down to the the guys who light candles at shrines.

Aside from everyday priesthood there are a number of spin-off organisations that operate under the auspices of the Ecclesiarchy in one way or another.

===Adepta Sororitas===
{{Main|Sisters of Battle}}

While the sisters of battle represent the military might of the Ecclesiarchy the other orders of the sororitas also play highly influential roles for the church.

The '''[[Orders Dialogous]]''' keep the records and curates the relics of the Ecclesiarchy and are some of the most well educated and respected people in the entire Imperium when it comes to researching histories, languages or customs.

While the Schola Progenium trains generations of orphans to become "ideal" Imperial citizens, the '''[[Orders Famulous]]''' get the job of "attending" the next generation of the Imperial elite. Teaching and educating key figures in Imperial nobility, these individuals grow up to be some of the most devout followers of the Imperial Creed and inevitably strong supporters of the Ecclesiarchy.

The '''[[Sister Hospitaler|Orders Hospitaler]]''' are perhaps the most appreciated of the sisterhood, being those who are medically inclined and trained in the arts of healing; making them welcome additions in warzones and noble households alike. Though they are a non-militant order, they are often exposed to frontline combat and many of them are hardened veterans who make ideal candidates for recruitment by the [[Inquisition]]; where their skills at keeping subjects alive also makes them highly effective interrogators.

===Schola Progenium===
{{Main|Schola Progenium}}

===Frateris Militia===
While the military might of the Ecclesiarchy was heavily curtailed by the '''[[Decree passive|Decree Passive]],''' that hasn't actually stopped them from summoning huge amounts of manpower when they need it.

All a cardinal needs to do is point somewhere and say the word "CRUSADE!," and people will show up in their millions, either out of fervour to serve the Emperor, or because people who don't show enough fervour tend to end up on fire. Most of them will be untrained and ill-equipped, but when it comes to manpower, the Ecclesiarchy can usually rely upon numbers to rival that of the [[Imperial Guard]].

Some Ecclesiarchy-ruled worlds, such as Piety V (featured in ''Carcharodons: Outer Dark''), utilise Frateris Militia as a de-facto PDF. Since these are standing armies, this practice is technically heresy, but since a planetary governor is feudally obligated to ensure the security of his world, it is a practice which is widely tolerated when in the legal persona of Planetary Governor, and still has to hand over their best recruits to the Imperial Guard.

[[Games Workshop]] actually used to have rules for the Frateris Militia waaaay back in the 2nd edition ''Sisters of Battle'' Codex, but they vanished inexplicably, and reappeared briefly as a Troops choice for ''Codex: Witchhunters'' in a White Dwarf trial rules article under the name "Zealots", which could equally have represented [[Redemptionist]]s as well as the Frateris.

They haven't been forgotten though, and FFG published rules for playing one in [[Dark Heresy]], which is a decent way of giving more non-combat oriented careers the basic training in weapons and a few combat talents far earlier than they could have otherwise obtained.

===Crusader Houses===
{{Main|Crusaders}}
A breach of the '''Decree Passive''', Crusaders are professionally trained warrior-monks, equipped with specialist wargear.

[[Crusaders]] are trained in secretive warrior-lodges that are not directly associated with the Ecclesiarchy at all. According to the Codex: Adepta Sororitas the Crusaders associated with the Ministorum are recruited from the "Guard of the Cardinals Crimson". However, this may be a front, as many Crusader Houses are sponsored by the [[Inquisition]], though it is uncertain if the Ecclesiarchy itself actually knows about that. For its part, the [[Inquisition]] deliberately allows the Ecclesiarchy to possess Crusaders in small numbers - there are all manner of uses for having a provable crime always ready to hand that the Ecclesiarchy is guilty of and they are really good at killing things too.

Membership is by invitation-only, chosen from those who will make ideal hand-to-hand warriors. Within the house they are deeply immersed in the Imperial Creed and are trained to be perfect bodyguards, putting the well-being of their holy charges ahead of themselves.

===Battle Conclave===
{{Main|Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave}}
Whenever a traveling priest (or sometimes an Inquisitor) wants a little more protection, they can form up an [[Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave]]. Because they can't have too many men due to the Decree passive, many opt instead to go with the scariest, most righteously out-of-their-mind fanatics they can find. Mostly formed from [[Arco-flagellant]]s, Crusaders, and [[Death Cult Assassin]]s, this terrifying force would make anyone think twice about fucking with him.

===Missionarius Galaxia===
Not all of the priests tend shrines or preach at mass. One of the most well known functions of the Ecclesiarchy is bringing religion to the heathen humans beyond the territories of the Imperium.

Most of the missionaries accompany the Imperial Guard as they expand outwards, conquering or reconquering worlds, making certain that those who rebuild afterwards become loyal subjects of the Imperium.

Some Missionaries take it a bit further and don't even travel with Imperial Guard regiments, instead preferring to travel alone to hostile human worlds and bringing the light of the Emperor to them in more peaceful ways. These '''Torchbearers''' are expert survivalists and considerably more resilient than normal Ministorum Priests, having to live and prosper without any back-up at all.

Oddly, Missionaries tend to be some of the most tolerant and even tempered parts of the Ecclesiarchy even if their faith is beyond question and reproach and missionary lore as a whole is rather devoid of the usual grimdark and is instead...actually a really reasonable approach? As the Ecclesiarchy regards enforcing a single, consistent central dogma pure of any syncretic elements to be far too hard to do for too little reward in a rare example of common sense, Missionaries are instead expected to work with the heathens they want to convert and ease them into their new faith. Indeed overall the Imperium is far more tolerant of heathens then heretics and generally prefers an unusually soft and diplomatic approach to dealing with the former.

After all, a heretic or apostate is someone who knowingly flouts or abandons a faith like the Imperial Creed, but heathens by definition were never part of the faith to begin with; and so have a measure of innocence, especially if their heathenry was born of ignorance. And as part of this innocence and recognising the impossibility of enforcing a strict and singular dogma, the Missionary usually tries to modify the local faith into something more compatible with the Imperial Creed rather than tear their religion down and start from scratch.

In moves that are directly inspired by real world conversion efforts by monotheistic faiths throughout history, missionaries will look for the god or goddess held in the highest esteem by the local culture and then identify them with the Emperor. The other gods will then be equivocated to either aspects of the Emperor or to the most similar Imperial Saint in the canon depending on what works best. Often the Missionary will even study the theology of the local culture so in depth that they'll successfully argue that the Imperial Creed is a truer interpretation of the religion than what the established authorities are preaching.

They also try to preserve most local traditions as much as they can in order to make converting an easier sell with a few exceptions, which are usually traditions we in the modern world would find abhorrent like say; ritual rape or eating people. Cannibalism for example is strictly forbidden by the Imperial Creed <s>except when Space Marines eat people's brains apparently</s> and so missionaries usually try to abolish such traditions and replace them with more symbolic eating of flesh and blood like how at the catholic church the "body and blood of christ" you eat at mass is just bread and wine that stands in for eating the poor bastard of a carpenter. They do however, try to change attitudes towards psykers and mutants to be more in line with official policy; psykers should be compliant servants who will willingly accept being taken by the black ships to serve humanity in some way, not kings and lords ruling over normal humans/being left untrained and exploding into WTFBBQDAEMONS and that unstable mutants need to be culled, while stable [[Abhuman]] sub-species are officially sanctioned and accepted if not wholly equal.

Whether the missionary works from the top down by converting the powers that be who will then enforce the imperial creed on the plebs or from the bottom up by converting the masses who will rise up against their heathen overlords and create a new society depends on the missionary's preferences and what they feel is easiest. As bringing new souls and cultures into the Emperor's light is holy work, just about all strategies are allowed in the name of saving the souls of heathens from the dangers of their ignorance.

As missionaries usually want converts, not corpses; use of force is generally a last resort and even then it's usually said force is used non-violently like having a rogue trader's ship eclipse the sun over their location to spook the primitives or show off the power of the imperial guard. The main exception to this is when the local religion is found to be based around xenos, abominable intelligence, or chaos worship. At this point the missionary's expected task is to call in the guard, sisters, or some other available military force to crack some skulls.

===Confessors & Witch Finders===
Like the [[Inquisition]], the Ecclesiarchy concerns itself with rooting out heresy and apostasy. Unfortunately for the Ecclesiarchy it is not officially sanctioned to do so by the Imperium. However that has not stopped the ministorum from trying.

'''Confessors''' are loud, bombastic and charismatic priests of the Imperial Cult, but are not given specific duties like most members of the priesthood. Instead they are given carte blanche to travel freely from settlement to settlement and "cleanse" them of their sins. Typically by performing rousing soapbox rants about how wicked thoughts make <s>baby Jesus</s> the EMPEROR cry. So people are encouraged to come forward to confess their sins to the confessor where he can decide an appropriate penance for them to clear their consciences. Confessors can be like the 40k equivalent of celebrities, and there is often great anticipation of their arrival in town, and big crowds show up to hear them preach (and probably hear their neighbours salacious confessions too). Sometimes people don't want (or have sins) to confess, so the confessor has to take it a [[RIP AND TEAR|little bit further]] to coax the individual to think hard about their crimes. Usually to the point of the penance afterwards being more merciful than the coaxing itself. Frequently employed as Inquisitorial henchmen.

'''Witch Finders''' fulfill much the same function, except are far more pro-active in "finding" sinners but are not necessarily required to be ordained priests, and many of whom are actually [[Inquisitor]]s-in-training. Results can vary in their effectiveness in finding heretics though, since they usually take a religious approach to determining the guilty rather than an investigative approach like normal "sane" people. Some examples of this crazy manner of determining guilt is to lock a suspect in an airlock and evacuate the air for an hour, Or to bury a suspect to his neck in sand and sew their mouth shut and leave them for a week... if they survive then they are deemed a witch and must be incinerated. While this is logically true, since if they survive they MUST be supernatural, it doesn't seem very hopeful for the innocent now does it? At least the Inquisition-proper occasionally gives you some intelligent form of investigation, even if you still die for being innocent.

==Notable Members==
* [[Arch-Confessor Kyrinov]], an Arch-Confessor who uses overt loud-mouthed preaching to conceal the fact that he's a cunning manipulator, often subverting heresies from within.
* [[Uriah Jacobus]], a belligerent old missionary who won't stop spreading the word of the Emperor to the darkest parts of the galaxy even though a sane person probably would've retired decades ago.
* [[Cardinal Armandus Helfire]], a bear of a man, Helfire can often be found leading Wars of Faith against Chaos forces near the Eye of Terror. Despite his station, he can often be found living and fighting amongst the soldiers he leads.
*[[Witch Finder Tantalid]]

{{Template:Imperium}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]]

Ecclesiarchy

2021-02-13T06:23:49Z

2001:8003:648E:7C00:D524:A2D0:3BF7:ADA2: Quote

[[File:Cathedral.jpg|right|thumb|500px|The Imperium spares no expense on its houses of worship, unfortunately we can't say the same about civilian accommodations...]]
{{Topquote|Hence Theocracy is the worst of all governments. If we must have a tyrant, a robber baron is far better than an inquisitor. The baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity at some point may be sated; and since he dimly knows he is doing wrong he may possibly repent. But the inquisitor who mistakes his own cruelty and lust of power and fear for the voice of Heaven will torment us infinitely more because he torments us with the approval of his own conscience and his better impulses appear to him as temptations.|[[C. S. Lewis]]}}

{{Topquote|His natural prejudices assumed the priesthood to fall into a small number of categories: old, mad, dissolute, fanatical or a delightful combination of any of them.|[[Roboute Guilliman]]'s high opinion of Imperial priests.}}

{{Topquote|God-Emperor? Calling him a god was how all this mess started.|[[Bjorn the Fell Handed]]'s on how times have changed.}}

"''Thought for the day: blind faith is a just cause.''"

The Adeptus Ministorum, or '''Ecclesiarchy''', is the state church of the [[Imperium of Man]] and works with the [[Inquisition]], making it ''the'' group which defines [[heresy]]. The name is derived from the Greek ''Ecclesia'', literally meaning Church but more generally "gathering" or "society" and specifically reffering to ancient Greek city councils. Like a bunch of classical civic terminology it was coopted by the church.

When the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor of Mankind]] began setting up the Imperium, he began instituting the [[Imperial Truth]], which basically said "there are no gods and we're doing materialism and rationalism now" to starve the Chaos Gods of power from human worship. Yet even during the Great Crusade people began worshiping the Emperor as a "God-Emperor", including his own son [[Lorgar]], who wrote the Lectitio Divinatatus. Which, ironically, proved effective at causing pain to daemons when lines from it were spoken to them (since the Emperor had it backwards; faith and religion didn't give the Chaos Gods power, faith and religion towards ''other things'' besides Chaos actually starved Chaos of power). Suitably embarrassed, the Emperor politely informed Lorgar to stop that... by having the [[Ultramarines]] destroy a city the [[Word Bearers]] set up and then forcing Lorgar to bow down to Himself, [[Malcador the Sigillite]], and [[Roboute Guilliman]] in front of his legion. In an unfathomable and completely-impossible-to-predict act of [[Heresy]], this would lead to Lorgar worshiping the [[Chaos Gods]] and starting the [[Horus Heresy]].

[[File:Activate_Rosariuses!.gif|right|thumb|500px|The Emperor Protects!]]

And Roboute Guilliman is back, and he does not like the Ecclesiarchy (though it's their fundamentalism and fondness of luxury that Guilliman has issues with, not so much theism and religion itself, considering that even he started considering that Emprah might be a god (or at least became one since he got attached to the Port-a-Potty lighthouse) and started reading the Lectitio Divinitatus (and not just any copy, but one from before the Horus Heresy). Lorgar would be proud, no doubt; note his permissiveness of the Adeptus Mechanicus and Omnissiah, and his alliance with the Ynnari, agents of an avatar of the Eldar god of death). However the words of Cawl, Celestine and several others have convinced him of its necessity to the Imperium in its current state.

==The Church Itself==

The Ecclesiarchy itself is, officially at least, the one true faith of the God-Emperor. It is the organization dedicated to teaching His truths and His will to the vast masses of humanity, and all are united under its banner. Therefore, no matter where you go in the Imperium, the Cult of The Emperor can be found uniting its masses under His benevolent rule. The reality, of course, is a bit more complex. The problem is that the Imperium is vast. Like, really vast. So much so that no one really knows how big it is, and an empire that big couldn't even begin to manage a galaxy wide faith. Therefore, what actually happens is that the Church of the God-Emperor is split into many faiths that don't actually resemble each other in any way.

On some worlds, the Emperor is worshiped as a distant father, watching over his children from far away. Others associate Him with a force of nature, believing that the wind is His voice and when He is angry He shouts at them causing great winds. Others assign some sort of totem animal, usually a predatory bird, that is considered sacred in His eyes. Some practice hymns and chants that wouldn't be out of place in our modern age, others prefer ritualistic dances and animal sacrifices. Despite all these varied and at times bizarre forms of faith, one thing is certain; there is only one god, only one Emperor, and they are one and the same.

The Ecclesiarchy attempts to promote and maintain the Cult of The Emperor wherever it can, if it is possible, to shape the local faith into something a bit more orthodox. As such, any planet with an Ecclesiarchal presence will eventually begin to resemble other faiths. Chapels will be built, a hierarchy of priests will emerge (what that hierarchy or even the priests will look like is a different thing altogether), and more extreme or shocking practices slowly weeded out or shaped into different forms. Even human sacrifice is re-purposed for the Emperor's benefit, as a culture that practices such things is much more willing to give up psykers to the Black Ships. It also helps that the Ecclesiarchy is willing to take the very slow, very long conversion route and accept even remote or vague Emperor worship under different names (such as Fenris's Allfather view of Him) so long as they follow a few basic rules. Very much like how the Imperium itself is structured, really.

Ironically, this makes the Ecclesiarchy oddly tolerant and open minded as they travel across worlds. They are trained to see past the individual beliefs to examine the core of the faiths they encounter, and therefore are unexpectedly tolerant of opposing sects, where more close minded citizens would be quick to denounce them as heretics and traitors. After all, the Emperor is a wise and benevolent god who loves all his subjects regardless of who they are, and the Ecclesiarchy follows His example. Seeing as the average citizen does ''not'' view other forms of Emperor-worship as heretical or blasphemous, someone must be at least somewhat educating them on the idea that any form of Emperor worship is acceptable if the Ecclesiarchy (*cough*Inquisition*cough*) approves of it and so should they or else ''they're'' the dirty heretic and will be "corrected", although this doesn't stop religious civil wars from being waged on occasion which nicely explains why Sisters of Battle might be fighting ''other'' Sisters of Battle.

The one area the Ecclesiarchy tends to butt heads is with the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]]. On the surface, the Cult of the Machine God runs completely counter to worship of the God-Emperor, especially since the Mechanicus' religion predates the Imperial Cult (and the Imperium itself) by a few millenia. However, there is little that the Ecclesiarchy can do about it, since 1. The Treaty of Mars guarantees not only autonomy, but religious exemption to the Mechanicus, and 2. Pissing off the Mechanicus is a bad idea since they control all the ships and tech. Because going to war with half of the Imperium would be monumentally stupid, they came up with a compromise that the Emperor is the physical avatar of the Machine God, bringing the Mechanicus closer in line to the Imperial Cult. This compromise isn't very satisfying for the more extreme fanatics on both sides, which can and does form conflict between the institutions beyond the political strife of two powerful organizations arguing over jurisdiction but at least it prevents the Thirty Years War: Galaxy Wide Edition.

Less tense are the relations between the Ecclesiarchy and the [[Adeptus Astartes]]; Most Space Marines, the Black Templars excluded, do not officially embrace the Imperial Cult, having followed the older [[Imperial Truth]] that the Cult eventually supplanted. Instead most view the Emperor as a father figure than as a God. The Ecclesiarchy allows this since, in a manner of speaking, it's true that the Emperor is their father and they're not stupid enough to start a holy war against one of the most powerful military assets the Imperium has to offer; not to mention that few priests have the sheer balls to argue faith with a ten foot tall giant in heavy armor, although anyone else who denies the divinity of the Emperor is fair game. Well, that and claiming that the Emperor's own Angels can't view him as a man and not a god would be blatant heresy so their own followers would rip them to shreds with their bare-hands. Still, as a show of good faith, the Ecclesiarchy presents [[Rosarius|Rosariuses]] to [[Chaplain]]s to demonstrate the supposed relationship between the Imperial Cult and the ancient spiritual traditions of the Astartes. The only exemption are the Iron Fathers of the [[Iron Hands]], who worship the Machine God of the Mechanicus instead, something that bitterly annoys the Ecclesiarchy.

==History==
After the Emprah was hooked up to the Golden Throne, it was inevitable that various cults and sects would form in his wake. Over time many of these groups would fight, absorb, fade and/or coalesce into a somewhat stabilised organisation that was called the '''Cult of the Saviour Emperor''', which emerged out of this conflict as the eminent religious group in the Imperium. In M32 the cult managed to install its Ecclesiarch as a member of the [[High Lords of Terra]] and establishing itself as a genuine power player in Imperial politics, creating what became the state religion known as the '''Adeptus Ministorum'''.

It is important to note that prior to this, the Imperium ''was'' a secular state and it had taken nearly two thousand years for the shift towards forming a religious state to become a reality; but even then only two thirds of the Imperium followed the teachings of the Temple of the Saviour Emperor ''(Astartes and Mechanicus excepted)'', the rest either didn't get the memo, or followed one of the various other cults and groups, including the '''Confederation of Light''', which was the only serious contender to the Temple. Therefore one of the early acts of the new Ecclesiarch was to get the High Lords of Terra to agree to eradicate the [[Heresy|"spiritual threat"]] and declare the first War of Faith, eventually crushing the Confederation and forcing its remnants into hiding.

===Age of Apostasy===
{{Main|Age of Apostasy}}

The Ecclesiarchy was able to seize real political power around M36 in the wake of the [[Nova Terra Interregnum]]; after secular politics failed to reunite the twin empires of the Imperium, the Imperial Cult was able to leverage the widespread religious belief in the Emperor to bring Nova Terra back into the fold. However, this did not go smoothly; the Cataclysm of Souls resulted in vast amounts of bloodshed for anyone who rejected the Imperial Cult. This paved the way for the Age of Apostasy, when rival factions within the Imperial Cult battled for control of the church.

The Ecclesiarch, the head of the Ministorum, eventually supplanted the Master of the [[Administratum]] ''(the guy who actually runs the government)'' as head of the Council. To show just how much power they could wield, the Ecclesiarchy moved from Terra to Ophelia VII at great expense, leaving Terra to rot, then moved back once they felt that they made their point. This is a reference to real life, a similar period of time when the Pope moved the Holy See from Rome to Avignon and later moved it back in a clusterfuck which for complex reasons ultimately culminated in three different people claiming to be Pope at the same time.

After that, the Ecclesiarchy did what every powerful group does: become more interested in its own power than the people they're supposed to be ministering, and public funds and taxes ended up funneling their way into the church, religious officials were making decisions on national policy and the like, since the Ecclesiarchy figured that the church and the state should be pretty much the same thing. The Ecclesiarchy also had a standing army called the '''Frateris Templar''' which stood apart from the [[Imperial Guard]], but was presumably bad-ass considering how wealthy the church was at the time.

=== Reign of Blood ===
Things took a major turn for the worse when '''[[Goge Vandire]]''', the Master of the Administratum, became Ecclesiarch at the same time, making himself the single most powerful person in the Imperium and started the Reign of Blood. Even by 40k standards this guy was nutters: He convinced an all-female sect called the "Daughters of the Emperor" ([[Daughters of Terra|No, not them...]]) to rename themselves the "Brides of the Emperor" and become his bodyguards, they were also given the ''"finest weapons and armour"'' that the Administratum and the Ecclesiarchy could provide, which probably meant they were far better equipped than the later Sisters of Battle ever were.

He also instituted big brother policies of having [[Servo-skull]]s on every street corner listening for sedition, and engaged in mass executions/pillaging for the lulz, such as virus bombing planets, enslaving all female civilians of certain planets below the age of 12, melting polar ice caps etc, all the while claiming that he heard the voice of the Emperor himself.

A "rogue" preacher named [[Sebastian Thor]] and his "heretical" sect ''(the Confederation of Light who had been in hiding for around four thousand years)'', supported by a couple of Space Marine Chapters and the Adeptus Mechanicus, went "fuck this" and invaded Terra to remove Vandire from the throne (so to speak). To the surprise of all present (except the Brides/Daughters), the defenders not only held off the invaders, but actually managed to give them a real beating. Before things got out of hand, the Adeptus Custodes took the leader of the Daughters to the Golden Throne to have a chat with the Emperor. She got insanely pissed off by something that happened there and cut off Vandire's head.

===Thorian Reformation===

Afterwards, Thor didn't actually sit still and started travelling the Imperium to put things back together again and preaching the Emperor's good name. Once Terra had recovered, they had only one person in mind for the job of Ecclesiarch: Thor, but he refused to come back until the Imperium [[What|declared him a traitor]] and sent an army to collect him.

Back at the Imperial Palace, the Captain of the Custodes took him aside for a quiet word, and told him that he should either take the job or end up [[Blam|vanished]]. Thus, as the newly appointed Ecclesiarch, Thor started the Thorian Reformation, in which the Temple of the Saviour Emperor was supplanted by Thor's Confederation of Light. The Ecclesiarchy was stripped of all military power and the '''Frateris Templar''' had their funding cut and were reduced to the '''Frateris Militia''' which were not allowed to be paid or trained under the Ecclesiarchy's budget, but, fortunately for them, since they were specifically banned from keeping "''men'' under arms", they [[Rules lawyers|reformed]] the Daughters into the [[Sisters of Battle|Battle Sisters]] of the Adepta Sororitas. Why aren't women covered under "''men'' under arms" since "men under arms" is a euphemism for soldier? Because Imperial Bureaucracy, if there's a possible loophole somewhere, someone's going to exploit it, obeying only the literal letter of the law and (ironically in this case) not the spirit.

The [[Inquisition]] also set up the [[Witchhunters|Ordo Hereticus]] to make sure no one deviated from these new rules. As well as giving rise to the '''Thorian''' faction of puritans, who believe that the Emperor used Thor as a vessel for his power and intent, and now search for other similar vessels as a means of potentially resurrecting the Emperor.

The reformed Ecclesiarchy is only slightly less corrupt and divorced from reality as it was before; but now they feel guilty and beat themselves -and everyone they minister to- about it! Occasionally, they even try (and fail) to fix it!

==Temple Tendency==

{{Main|Temple Tendency}}

Sadly, some people are still ''particularly'' abusive, and these people are accused of having a "temple tendency." Additionally, there's an ''actual'' heretical cult called the Temple Tendency. They believe the Confederation of Light are the ''real'' heretics and secretly preach their creed in the hopes of turning back the clock. Their preachers are generically known as Vandiran Apostates or Shade Priests, which are much cooler names than "Confessor." Given their nature as a heretical religion stamped out by the ruling church of the Imperium, they operate in small, localized cells that don't seem to have much contact with one another, so who knows how heretical they might actually have become?

==Organisation==

At the top of the organisation is the Ecclesiarch himself, who is essentially the '''Space Pope''' and the equal-second (after the Master of the [[Administratum]] and along with the Fabricator-General of [[Mars]]) most influential individual in the entire Imperium.

Beneath him are the '''Cardinals''' of the '''Holy Synod'''. Although there are Cardinals all over the Imperium, each ruling their own Diocese ''(which is the religious equivalent to a '''sector''' in terms of size, but not organised the same way)'' the Holy Synod of Terra has a conclave of Cardinals who assist the Ecclesiarch in making religious decisions. Also, occasionally one of the members of the Holy Synod gets a seat on the [[High Lords of Terra]], which is essentially giving the Ecclesiarchy more influence in Imperial affairs (particularly if the Abbess of the Adepta Sororitas gets a seat at the same time)

Beneath the Cardinals it moves downwards through the varying ranks of preachers, clerics, bishops, vicars, abbots, ministers, confessors all the way down to the the guys who light candles at shrines.

Aside from everyday priesthood there are a number of spin-off organisations that operate under the auspices of the Ecclesiarchy in one way or another.

===Adepta Sororitas===
{{Main|Sisters of Battle}}

While the sisters of battle represent the military might of the Ecclesiarchy the other orders of the sororitas also play highly influential roles for the church.

The '''[[Orders Dialogous]]''' keep the records and curates the relics of the Ecclesiarchy and are some of the most well educated and respected people in the entire Imperium when it comes to researching histories, languages or customs.

While the Schola Progenium trains generations of orphans to become "ideal" Imperial citizens, the '''[[Orders Famulous]]''' get the job of "attending" the next generation of the Imperial elite. Teaching and educating key figures in Imperial nobility, these individuals grow up to be some of the most devout followers of the Imperial Creed and inevitably strong supporters of the Ecclesiarchy.

The '''[[Sister Hospitaler|Orders Hospitaler]]''' are perhaps the most appreciated of the sisterhood, being those who are medically inclined and trained in the arts of healing; making them welcome additions in warzones and noble households alike. Though they are a non-militant order, they are often exposed to frontline combat and many of them are hardened veterans who make ideal candidates for recruitment by the [[Inquisition]]; where their skills at keeping subjects alive also makes them highly effective interrogators.

===Schola Progenium===
{{Main|Schola Progenium}}

===Frateris Militia===
While the military might of the Ecclesiarchy was heavily curtailed by the '''[[Decree passive|Decree Passive]],''' that hasn't actually stopped them from summoning huge amounts of manpower when they need it.

All a cardinal needs to do is point somewhere and say the word "CRUSADE!," and people will show up in their millions, either out of fervour to serve the Emperor, or because people who don't show enough fervour tend to end up on fire. Most of them will be untrained and ill-equipped, but when it comes to manpower, the Ecclesiarchy can usually rely upon numbers to rival that of the [[Imperial Guard]].

Some Ecclesiarchy-ruled worlds, such as Piety V (featured in ''Carcharodons: Outer Dark''), utilise Frateris Militia as a de-facto PDF. Since these are standing armies, this practice is technically heresy, but since a planetary governor is feudally obligated to ensure the security of his world, it is a practice which is widely tolerated when in the legal persona of Planetary Governor, and still has to hand over their best recruits to the Imperial Guard.

[[Games Workshop]] actually used to have rules for the Frateris Militia waaaay back in the 2nd edition ''Sisters of Battle'' Codex, but they vanished inexplicably, and reappeared briefly as a Troops choice for ''Codex: Witchhunters'' in a White Dwarf trial rules article under the name "Zealots", which could equally have represented [[Redemptionist]]s as well as the Frateris.

They haven't been forgotten though, and FFG published rules for playing one in [[Dark Heresy]], which is a decent way of giving more non-combat oriented careers the basic training in weapons and a few combat talents far earlier than they could have otherwise obtained.

===Crusader Houses===
{{Main|Crusaders}}
A breach of the '''Decree Passive''', Crusaders are professionally trained warrior-monks, equipped with specialist wargear.

[[Crusaders]] are trained in secretive warrior-lodges that are not directly associated with the Ecclesiarchy at all. According to the Codex: Adepta Sororitas the Crusaders associated with the Ministorum are recruited from the "Guard of the Cardinals Crimson". However, this may be a front, as many Crusader Houses are sponsored by the [[Inquisition]], though it is uncertain if the Ecclesiarchy itself actually knows about that. For its part, the [[Inquisition]] deliberately allows the Ecclesiarchy to possess Crusaders in small numbers - there are all manner of uses for having a provable crime always ready to hand that the Ecclesiarchy is guilty of and they are really good at killing things too.

Membership is by invitation-only, chosen from those who will make ideal hand-to-hand warriors. Within the house they are deeply immersed in the Imperial Creed and are trained to be perfect bodyguards, putting the well-being of their holy charges ahead of themselves.

===Battle Conclave===
{{Main|Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave}}
Whenever a traveling priest (or sometimes an Inquisitor) wants a little more protection, they can form up an [[Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave]]. Because they can't have too many men due to the Decree passive, many opt instead to go with the scariest, most righteously out-of-their-mind fanatics they can find. Mostly formed from [[Arco-flagellant]]s, Crusaders, and [[Death Cult Assassin]]s, this terrifying force would make anyone think twice about fucking with him.

===Missionarius Galaxia===
Not all of the priests tend shrines or preach at mass. One of the most well known functions of the Ecclesiarchy is bringing religion to the heathen humans beyond the territories of the Imperium.

Most of the missionaries accompany the Imperial Guard as they expand outwards, conquering or reconquering worlds, making certain that those who rebuild afterwards become loyal subjects of the Imperium.

Some Missionaries take it a bit further and don't even travel with Imperial Guard regiments, instead preferring to travel alone to hostile human worlds and bringing the light of the Emperor to them in more peaceful ways. These '''Torchbearers''' are expert survivalists and considerably more resilient than normal Ministorum Priests, having to live and prosper without any back-up at all.

Oddly, Missionaries tend to be some of the most tolerant and even tempered parts of the Ecclesiarchy even if their faith is beyond question and reproach and missionary lore as a whole is rather devoid of the usual grimdark and is instead...actually a really reasonable approach? As the Ecclesiarchy regards enforcing a single, consistent central dogma pure of any syncretic elements to be far too hard to do for too little reward in a rare example of common sense, Missionaries are instead expected to work with the heathens they want to convert and ease them into their new faith. Indeed overall the Imperium is far more tolerant of heathens then heretics and generally prefers an unusually soft and diplomatic approach to dealing with the former.

After all, a heretic or apostate is someone who knowingly flouts or abandons a faith like the Imperial Creed, but heathens by definition were never part of the faith to begin with; and so have a measure of innocence, especially if their heathenry was born of ignorance. And as part of this innocence and recognising the impossibility of enforcing a strict and singular dogma, the Missionary usually tries to modify the local faith into something more compatible with the Imperial Creed rather than tear their religion down and start from scratch.

In moves that are directly inspired by real world conversion efforts by monotheistic faiths throughout history, missionaries will look for the god or goddess held in the highest esteem by the local culture and then identify them with the Emperor. The other gods will then be equivocated to either aspects of the Emperor or to the most similar Imperial Saint in the canon depending on what works best. Often the Missionary will even study the theology of the local culture so in depth that they'll successfully argue that the Imperial Creed is a truer interpretation of the religion than what the established authorities are preaching.

They also try to preserve most local traditions as much as they can in order to make converting an easier sell with a few exceptions, which are usually traditions we in the modern world would find abhorrent like say; ritual rape or eating people. Cannibalism for example is strictly forbidden by the Imperial Creed <s>except when Space Marines eat people's brains apparently</s> and so missionaries usually try to abolish such traditions and replace them with more symbolic eating of flesh and blood like how at the catholic church the "body and blood of christ" you eat at mass is just bread and wine that stands in for eating the poor bastard of a carpenter. They do however, try to change attitudes towards psykers and mutants to be more in line with official policy; psykers should be compliant servants who will willingly accept being taken by the black ships to serve humanity in some way, not kings and lords ruling over normal humans/being left untrained and exploding into WTFBBQDAEMONS and that unstable mutants need to be culled, while stable [[Abhuman]] sub-species are officially sanctioned and accepted if not wholly equal.

Whether the missionary works from the top down by converting the powers that be who will then enforce the imperial creed on the plebs or from the bottom up by converting the masses who will rise up against their heathen overlords and create a new society depends on the missionary's preferences and what they feel is easiest. As bringing new souls and cultures into the Emperor's light is holy work, just about all strategies are allowed in the name of saving the souls of heathens from the dangers of their ignorance.

As missionaries usually want converts, not corpses; use of force is generally a last resort and even then it's usually said force is used non-violently like having a rogue trader's ship eclipse the sun over their location to spook the primitives or show off the power of the imperial guard. The main exception to this is when the local religion is found to be based around xenos, abominable intelligence, or chaos worship. At this point the missionary's expected task is to call in the guard, sisters, or some other available military force to crack some skulls.

===Confessors & Witch Finders===
Like the [[Inquisition]], the Ecclesiarchy concerns itself with rooting out heresy and apostasy. Unfortunately for the Ecclesiarchy it is not officially sanctioned to do so by the Imperium. However that has not stopped the ministorum from trying.

'''Confessors''' are loud, bombastic and charismatic priests of the Imperial Cult, but are not given specific duties like most members of the priesthood. Instead they are given carte blanche to travel freely from settlement to settlement and "cleanse" them of their sins. Typically by performing rousing soapbox rants about how wicked thoughts make <s>baby Jesus</s> the EMPEROR cry. So people are encouraged to come forward to confess their sins to the confessor where he can decide an appropriate penance for them to clear their consciences. Confessors can be like the 40k equivalent of celebrities, and there is often great anticipation of their arrival in town, and big crowds show up to hear them preach (and probably hear their neighbours salacious confessions too). Sometimes people don't want (or have sins) to confess, so the confessor has to take it a [[RIP AND TEAR|little bit further]] to coax the individual to think hard about their crimes. Usually to the point of the penance afterwards being more merciful than the coaxing itself. Frequently employed as Inquisitorial henchmen.

'''Witch Finders''' fulfill much the same function, except are far more pro-active in "finding" sinners but are not necessarily required to be ordained priests, and many of whom are actually [[Inquisitor]]s-in-training. Results can vary in their effectiveness in finding heretics though, since they usually take a religious approach to determining the guilty rather than an investigative approach like normal "sane" people. Some examples of this crazy manner of determining guilt is to lock a suspect in an airlock and evacuate the air for an hour, Or to bury a suspect to his neck in sand and sew their mouth shut and leave them for a week... if they survive then they are deemed a witch and must be incinerated. While this is logically true, since if they survive they MUST be supernatural, it doesn't seem very hopeful for the innocent now does it? At least the Inquisition-proper occasionally gives you some intelligent form of investigation, even if you still die for being innocent.

==Notable Members==
* [[Arch-Confessor Kyrinov]], an Arch-Confessor who uses overt loud-mouthed preaching to conceal the fact that he's a cunning manipulator, often subverting heresies from within.
* [[Uriah Jacobus]], a belligerent old missionary who won't stop spreading the word of the Emperor to the darkest parts of the galaxy even though a sane person probably would've retired decades ago.
* [[Cardinal Armandus Helfire]], a bear of a man, Helfire can often be found leading Wars of Faith against Chaos forces near the Eye of Terror. Despite his station, he can often be found living and fighting amongst the soldiers he leads.
*[[Witch Finder Tantalid]]

{{Template:Imperium}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]]

Ecclesiarchy

2021-02-13T06:23:15Z

2001:8003:648E:7C00:D524:A2D0:3BF7:ADA2: Quote

[[File:Cathedral.jpg|right|thumb|500px|The Imperium spares no expense on its houses of worship, unfortunately we can't say the same about civilian accommodations...]]
{{Topquote|Hence Theocracy is the worst of all governments. If we must have a tyrant, a robber baron is far better than an inquisitor. The baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity at some point may be sated; and since he dimly knows he is doing wrong he may possibly repent. But the inquisitor who mistakes his own cruelty and lust of power and fear for the voice of Heaven will torment us infinitely more because he torments us with the approval of his own conscience and his better impulses appear to him as temptations.|[[C. S. Lewis]]}}

{{Topquote|His natural prejudices assumed the priesthood to fall into a small number of categories: old, mad, dissolute, fanatical or a delightful combination of any of them.|[[Roboute Guilliman]]'s high opinion of Imperial priests.}}

{{Topquote|God-Emperor? Calling him a god was how all this mess started.|[[Bjorn Fellhand]]'s on how times have changed.}}

"''Thought for the day: blind faith is a just cause.''"

The Adeptus Ministorum, or '''Ecclesiarchy''', is the state church of the [[Imperium of Man]] and works with the [[Inquisition]], making it ''the'' group which defines [[heresy]]. The name is derived from the Greek ''Ecclesia'', literally meaning Church but more generally "gathering" or "society" and specifically reffering to ancient Greek city councils. Like a bunch of classical civic terminology it was coopted by the church.

When the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor of Mankind]] began setting up the Imperium, he began instituting the [[Imperial Truth]], which basically said "there are no gods and we're doing materialism and rationalism now" to starve the Chaos Gods of power from human worship. Yet even during the Great Crusade people began worshiping the Emperor as a "God-Emperor", including his own son [[Lorgar]], who wrote the Lectitio Divinatatus. Which, ironically, proved effective at causing pain to daemons when lines from it were spoken to them (since the Emperor had it backwards; faith and religion didn't give the Chaos Gods power, faith and religion towards ''other things'' besides Chaos actually starved Chaos of power). Suitably embarrassed, the Emperor politely informed Lorgar to stop that... by having the [[Ultramarines]] destroy a city the [[Word Bearers]] set up and then forcing Lorgar to bow down to Himself, [[Malcador the Sigillite]], and [[Roboute Guilliman]] in front of his legion. In an unfathomable and completely-impossible-to-predict act of [[Heresy]], this would lead to Lorgar worshiping the [[Chaos Gods]] and starting the [[Horus Heresy]].

[[File:Activate_Rosariuses!.gif|right|thumb|500px|The Emperor Protects!]]

And Roboute Guilliman is back, and he does not like the Ecclesiarchy (though it's their fundamentalism and fondness of luxury that Guilliman has issues with, not so much theism and religion itself, considering that even he started considering that Emprah might be a god (or at least became one since he got attached to the Port-a-Potty lighthouse) and started reading the Lectitio Divinitatus (and not just any copy, but one from before the Horus Heresy). Lorgar would be proud, no doubt; note his permissiveness of the Adeptus Mechanicus and Omnissiah, and his alliance with the Ynnari, agents of an avatar of the Eldar god of death). However the words of Cawl, Celestine and several others have convinced him of its necessity to the Imperium in its current state.

==The Church Itself==

The Ecclesiarchy itself is, officially at least, the one true faith of the God-Emperor. It is the organization dedicated to teaching His truths and His will to the vast masses of humanity, and all are united under its banner. Therefore, no matter where you go in the Imperium, the Cult of The Emperor can be found uniting its masses under His benevolent rule. The reality, of course, is a bit more complex. The problem is that the Imperium is vast. Like, really vast. So much so that no one really knows how big it is, and an empire that big couldn't even begin to manage a galaxy wide faith. Therefore, what actually happens is that the Church of the God-Emperor is split into many faiths that don't actually resemble each other in any way.

On some worlds, the Emperor is worshiped as a distant father, watching over his children from far away. Others associate Him with a force of nature, believing that the wind is His voice and when He is angry He shouts at them causing great winds. Others assign some sort of totem animal, usually a predatory bird, that is considered sacred in His eyes. Some practice hymns and chants that wouldn't be out of place in our modern age, others prefer ritualistic dances and animal sacrifices. Despite all these varied and at times bizarre forms of faith, one thing is certain; there is only one god, only one Emperor, and they are one and the same.

The Ecclesiarchy attempts to promote and maintain the Cult of The Emperor wherever it can, if it is possible, to shape the local faith into something a bit more orthodox. As such, any planet with an Ecclesiarchal presence will eventually begin to resemble other faiths. Chapels will be built, a hierarchy of priests will emerge (what that hierarchy or even the priests will look like is a different thing altogether), and more extreme or shocking practices slowly weeded out or shaped into different forms. Even human sacrifice is re-purposed for the Emperor's benefit, as a culture that practices such things is much more willing to give up psykers to the Black Ships. It also helps that the Ecclesiarchy is willing to take the very slow, very long conversion route and accept even remote or vague Emperor worship under different names (such as Fenris's Allfather view of Him) so long as they follow a few basic rules. Very much like how the Imperium itself is structured, really.

Ironically, this makes the Ecclesiarchy oddly tolerant and open minded as they travel across worlds. They are trained to see past the individual beliefs to examine the core of the faiths they encounter, and therefore are unexpectedly tolerant of opposing sects, where more close minded citizens would be quick to denounce them as heretics and traitors. After all, the Emperor is a wise and benevolent god who loves all his subjects regardless of who they are, and the Ecclesiarchy follows His example. Seeing as the average citizen does ''not'' view other forms of Emperor-worship as heretical or blasphemous, someone must be at least somewhat educating them on the idea that any form of Emperor worship is acceptable if the Ecclesiarchy (*cough*Inquisition*cough*) approves of it and so should they or else ''they're'' the dirty heretic and will be "corrected", although this doesn't stop religious civil wars from being waged on occasion which nicely explains why Sisters of Battle might be fighting ''other'' Sisters of Battle.

The one area the Ecclesiarchy tends to butt heads is with the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]]. On the surface, the Cult of the Machine God runs completely counter to worship of the God-Emperor, especially since the Mechanicus' religion predates the Imperial Cult (and the Imperium itself) by a few millenia. However, there is little that the Ecclesiarchy can do about it, since 1. The Treaty of Mars guarantees not only autonomy, but religious exemption to the Mechanicus, and 2. Pissing off the Mechanicus is a bad idea since they control all the ships and tech. Because going to war with half of the Imperium would be monumentally stupid, they came up with a compromise that the Emperor is the physical avatar of the Machine God, bringing the Mechanicus closer in line to the Imperial Cult. This compromise isn't very satisfying for the more extreme fanatics on both sides, which can and does form conflict between the institutions beyond the political strife of two powerful organizations arguing over jurisdiction but at least it prevents the Thirty Years War: Galaxy Wide Edition.

Less tense are the relations between the Ecclesiarchy and the [[Adeptus Astartes]]; Most Space Marines, the Black Templars excluded, do not officially embrace the Imperial Cult, having followed the older [[Imperial Truth]] that the Cult eventually supplanted. Instead most view the Emperor as a father figure than as a God. The Ecclesiarchy allows this since, in a manner of speaking, it's true that the Emperor is their father and they're not stupid enough to start a holy war against one of the most powerful military assets the Imperium has to offer; not to mention that few priests have the sheer balls to argue faith with a ten foot tall giant in heavy armor, although anyone else who denies the divinity of the Emperor is fair game. Well, that and claiming that the Emperor's own Angels can't view him as a man and not a god would be blatant heresy so their own followers would rip them to shreds with their bare-hands. Still, as a show of good faith, the Ecclesiarchy presents [[Rosarius|Rosariuses]] to [[Chaplain]]s to demonstrate the supposed relationship between the Imperial Cult and the ancient spiritual traditions of the Astartes. The only exemption are the Iron Fathers of the [[Iron Hands]], who worship the Machine God of the Mechanicus instead, something that bitterly annoys the Ecclesiarchy.

==History==
After the Emprah was hooked up to the Golden Throne, it was inevitable that various cults and sects would form in his wake. Over time many of these groups would fight, absorb, fade and/or coalesce into a somewhat stabilised organisation that was called the '''Cult of the Saviour Emperor''', which emerged out of this conflict as the eminent religious group in the Imperium. In M32 the cult managed to install its Ecclesiarch as a member of the [[High Lords of Terra]] and establishing itself as a genuine power player in Imperial politics, creating what became the state religion known as the '''Adeptus Ministorum'''.

It is important to note that prior to this, the Imperium ''was'' a secular state and it had taken nearly two thousand years for the shift towards forming a religious state to become a reality; but even then only two thirds of the Imperium followed the teachings of the Temple of the Saviour Emperor ''(Astartes and Mechanicus excepted)'', the rest either didn't get the memo, or followed one of the various other cults and groups, including the '''Confederation of Light''', which was the only serious contender to the Temple. Therefore one of the early acts of the new Ecclesiarch was to get the High Lords of Terra to agree to eradicate the [[Heresy|"spiritual threat"]] and declare the first War of Faith, eventually crushing the Confederation and forcing its remnants into hiding.

===Age of Apostasy===
{{Main|Age of Apostasy}}

The Ecclesiarchy was able to seize real political power around M36 in the wake of the [[Nova Terra Interregnum]]; after secular politics failed to reunite the twin empires of the Imperium, the Imperial Cult was able to leverage the widespread religious belief in the Emperor to bring Nova Terra back into the fold. However, this did not go smoothly; the Cataclysm of Souls resulted in vast amounts of bloodshed for anyone who rejected the Imperial Cult. This paved the way for the Age of Apostasy, when rival factions within the Imperial Cult battled for control of the church.

The Ecclesiarch, the head of the Ministorum, eventually supplanted the Master of the [[Administratum]] ''(the guy who actually runs the government)'' as head of the Council. To show just how much power they could wield, the Ecclesiarchy moved from Terra to Ophelia VII at great expense, leaving Terra to rot, then moved back once they felt that they made their point. This is a reference to real life, a similar period of time when the Pope moved the Holy See from Rome to Avignon and later moved it back in a clusterfuck which for complex reasons ultimately culminated in three different people claiming to be Pope at the same time.

After that, the Ecclesiarchy did what every powerful group does: become more interested in its own power than the people they're supposed to be ministering, and public funds and taxes ended up funneling their way into the church, religious officials were making decisions on national policy and the like, since the Ecclesiarchy figured that the church and the state should be pretty much the same thing. The Ecclesiarchy also had a standing army called the '''Frateris Templar''' which stood apart from the [[Imperial Guard]], but was presumably bad-ass considering how wealthy the church was at the time.

=== Reign of Blood ===
Things took a major turn for the worse when '''[[Goge Vandire]]''', the Master of the Administratum, became Ecclesiarch at the same time, making himself the single most powerful person in the Imperium and started the Reign of Blood. Even by 40k standards this guy was nutters: He convinced an all-female sect called the "Daughters of the Emperor" ([[Daughters of Terra|No, not them...]]) to rename themselves the "Brides of the Emperor" and become his bodyguards, they were also given the ''"finest weapons and armour"'' that the Administratum and the Ecclesiarchy could provide, which probably meant they were far better equipped than the later Sisters of Battle ever were.

He also instituted big brother policies of having [[Servo-skull]]s on every street corner listening for sedition, and engaged in mass executions/pillaging for the lulz, such as virus bombing planets, enslaving all female civilians of certain planets below the age of 12, melting polar ice caps etc, all the while claiming that he heard the voice of the Emperor himself.

A "rogue" preacher named [[Sebastian Thor]] and his "heretical" sect ''(the Confederation of Light who had been in hiding for around four thousand years)'', supported by a couple of Space Marine Chapters and the Adeptus Mechanicus, went "fuck this" and invaded Terra to remove Vandire from the throne (so to speak). To the surprise of all present (except the Brides/Daughters), the defenders not only held off the invaders, but actually managed to give them a real beating. Before things got out of hand, the Adeptus Custodes took the leader of the Daughters to the Golden Throne to have a chat with the Emperor. She got insanely pissed off by something that happened there and cut off Vandire's head.

===Thorian Reformation===

Afterwards, Thor didn't actually sit still and started travelling the Imperium to put things back together again and preaching the Emperor's good name. Once Terra had recovered, they had only one person in mind for the job of Ecclesiarch: Thor, but he refused to come back until the Imperium [[What|declared him a traitor]] and sent an army to collect him.

Back at the Imperial Palace, the Captain of the Custodes took him aside for a quiet word, and told him that he should either take the job or end up [[Blam|vanished]]. Thus, as the newly appointed Ecclesiarch, Thor started the Thorian Reformation, in which the Temple of the Saviour Emperor was supplanted by Thor's Confederation of Light. The Ecclesiarchy was stripped of all military power and the '''Frateris Templar''' had their funding cut and were reduced to the '''Frateris Militia''' which were not allowed to be paid or trained under the Ecclesiarchy's budget, but, fortunately for them, since they were specifically banned from keeping "''men'' under arms", they [[Rules lawyers|reformed]] the Daughters into the [[Sisters of Battle|Battle Sisters]] of the Adepta Sororitas. Why aren't women covered under "''men'' under arms" since "men under arms" is a euphemism for soldier? Because Imperial Bureaucracy, if there's a possible loophole somewhere, someone's going to exploit it, obeying only the literal letter of the law and (ironically in this case) not the spirit.

The [[Inquisition]] also set up the [[Witchhunters|Ordo Hereticus]] to make sure no one deviated from these new rules. As well as giving rise to the '''Thorian''' faction of puritans, who believe that the Emperor used Thor as a vessel for his power and intent, and now search for other similar vessels as a means of potentially resurrecting the Emperor.

The reformed Ecclesiarchy is only slightly less corrupt and divorced from reality as it was before; but now they feel guilty and beat themselves -and everyone they minister to- about it! Occasionally, they even try (and fail) to fix it!

==Temple Tendency==

{{Main|Temple Tendency}}

Sadly, some people are still ''particularly'' abusive, and these people are accused of having a "temple tendency." Additionally, there's an ''actual'' heretical cult called the Temple Tendency. They believe the Confederation of Light are the ''real'' heretics and secretly preach their creed in the hopes of turning back the clock. Their preachers are generically known as Vandiran Apostates or Shade Priests, which are much cooler names than "Confessor." Given their nature as a heretical religion stamped out by the ruling church of the Imperium, they operate in small, localized cells that don't seem to have much contact with one another, so who knows how heretical they might actually have become?

==Organisation==

At the top of the organisation is the Ecclesiarch himself, who is essentially the '''Space Pope''' and the equal-second (after the Master of the [[Administratum]] and along with the Fabricator-General of [[Mars]]) most influential individual in the entire Imperium.

Beneath him are the '''Cardinals''' of the '''Holy Synod'''. Although there are Cardinals all over the Imperium, each ruling their own Diocese ''(which is the religious equivalent to a '''sector''' in terms of size, but not organised the same way)'' the Holy Synod of Terra has a conclave of Cardinals who assist the Ecclesiarch in making religious decisions. Also, occasionally one of the members of the Holy Synod gets a seat on the [[High Lords of Terra]], which is essentially giving the Ecclesiarchy more influence in Imperial affairs (particularly if the Abbess of the Adepta Sororitas gets a seat at the same time)

Beneath the Cardinals it moves downwards through the varying ranks of preachers, clerics, bishops, vicars, abbots, ministers, confessors all the way down to the the guys who light candles at shrines.

Aside from everyday priesthood there are a number of spin-off organisations that operate under the auspices of the Ecclesiarchy in one way or another.

===Adepta Sororitas===
{{Main|Sisters of Battle}}

While the sisters of battle represent the military might of the Ecclesiarchy the other orders of the sororitas also play highly influential roles for the church.

The '''[[Orders Dialogous]]''' keep the records and curates the relics of the Ecclesiarchy and are some of the most well educated and respected people in the entire Imperium when it comes to researching histories, languages or customs.

While the Schola Progenium trains generations of orphans to become "ideal" Imperial citizens, the '''[[Orders Famulous]]''' get the job of "attending" the next generation of the Imperial elite. Teaching and educating key figures in Imperial nobility, these individuals grow up to be some of the most devout followers of the Imperial Creed and inevitably strong supporters of the Ecclesiarchy.

The '''[[Sister Hospitaler|Orders Hospitaler]]''' are perhaps the most appreciated of the sisterhood, being those who are medically inclined and trained in the arts of healing; making them welcome additions in warzones and noble households alike. Though they are a non-militant order, they are often exposed to frontline combat and many of them are hardened veterans who make ideal candidates for recruitment by the [[Inquisition]]; where their skills at keeping subjects alive also makes them highly effective interrogators.

===Schola Progenium===
{{Main|Schola Progenium}}

===Frateris Militia===
While the military might of the Ecclesiarchy was heavily curtailed by the '''[[Decree passive|Decree Passive]],''' that hasn't actually stopped them from summoning huge amounts of manpower when they need it.

All a cardinal needs to do is point somewhere and say the word "CRUSADE!," and people will show up in their millions, either out of fervour to serve the Emperor, or because people who don't show enough fervour tend to end up on fire. Most of them will be untrained and ill-equipped, but when it comes to manpower, the Ecclesiarchy can usually rely upon numbers to rival that of the [[Imperial Guard]].

Some Ecclesiarchy-ruled worlds, such as Piety V (featured in ''Carcharodons: Outer Dark''), utilise Frateris Militia as a de-facto PDF. Since these are standing armies, this practice is technically heresy, but since a planetary governor is feudally obligated to ensure the security of his world, it is a practice which is widely tolerated when in the legal persona of Planetary Governor, and still has to hand over their best recruits to the Imperial Guard.

[[Games Workshop]] actually used to have rules for the Frateris Militia waaaay back in the 2nd edition ''Sisters of Battle'' Codex, but they vanished inexplicably, and reappeared briefly as a Troops choice for ''Codex: Witchhunters'' in a White Dwarf trial rules article under the name "Zealots", which could equally have represented [[Redemptionist]]s as well as the Frateris.

They haven't been forgotten though, and FFG published rules for playing one in [[Dark Heresy]], which is a decent way of giving more non-combat oriented careers the basic training in weapons and a few combat talents far earlier than they could have otherwise obtained.

===Crusader Houses===
{{Main|Crusaders}}
A breach of the '''Decree Passive''', Crusaders are professionally trained warrior-monks, equipped with specialist wargear.

[[Crusaders]] are trained in secretive warrior-lodges that are not directly associated with the Ecclesiarchy at all. According to the Codex: Adepta Sororitas the Crusaders associated with the Ministorum are recruited from the "Guard of the Cardinals Crimson". However, this may be a front, as many Crusader Houses are sponsored by the [[Inquisition]], though it is uncertain if the Ecclesiarchy itself actually knows about that. For its part, the [[Inquisition]] deliberately allows the Ecclesiarchy to possess Crusaders in small numbers - there are all manner of uses for having a provable crime always ready to hand that the Ecclesiarchy is guilty of and they are really good at killing things too.

Membership is by invitation-only, chosen from those who will make ideal hand-to-hand warriors. Within the house they are deeply immersed in the Imperial Creed and are trained to be perfect bodyguards, putting the well-being of their holy charges ahead of themselves.

===Battle Conclave===
{{Main|Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave}}
Whenever a traveling priest (or sometimes an Inquisitor) wants a little more protection, they can form up an [[Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave]]. Because they can't have too many men due to the Decree passive, many opt instead to go with the scariest, most righteously out-of-their-mind fanatics they can find. Mostly formed from [[Arco-flagellant]]s, Crusaders, and [[Death Cult Assassin]]s, this terrifying force would make anyone think twice about fucking with him.

===Missionarius Galaxia===
Not all of the priests tend shrines or preach at mass. One of the most well known functions of the Ecclesiarchy is bringing religion to the heathen humans beyond the territories of the Imperium.

Most of the missionaries accompany the Imperial Guard as they expand outwards, conquering or reconquering worlds, making certain that those who rebuild afterwards become loyal subjects of the Imperium.

Some Missionaries take it a bit further and don't even travel with Imperial Guard regiments, instead preferring to travel alone to hostile human worlds and bringing the light of the Emperor to them in more peaceful ways. These '''Torchbearers''' are expert survivalists and considerably more resilient than normal Ministorum Priests, having to live and prosper without any back-up at all.

Oddly, Missionaries tend to be some of the most tolerant and even tempered parts of the Ecclesiarchy even if their faith is beyond question and reproach and missionary lore as a whole is rather devoid of the usual grimdark and is instead...actually a really reasonable approach? As the Ecclesiarchy regards enforcing a single, consistent central dogma pure of any syncretic elements to be far too hard to do for too little reward in a rare example of common sense, Missionaries are instead expected to work with the heathens they want to convert and ease them into their new faith. Indeed overall the Imperium is far more tolerant of heathens then heretics and generally prefers an unusually soft and diplomatic approach to dealing with the former.

After all, a heretic or apostate is someone who knowingly flouts or abandons a faith like the Imperial Creed, but heathens by definition were never part of the faith to begin with; and so have a measure of innocence, especially if their heathenry was born of ignorance. And as part of this innocence and recognising the impossibility of enforcing a strict and singular dogma, the Missionary usually tries to modify the local faith into something more compatible with the Imperial Creed rather than tear their religion down and start from scratch.

In moves that are directly inspired by real world conversion efforts by monotheistic faiths throughout history, missionaries will look for the god or goddess held in the highest esteem by the local culture and then identify them with the Emperor. The other gods will then be equivocated to either aspects of the Emperor or to the most similar Imperial Saint in the canon depending on what works best. Often the Missionary will even study the theology of the local culture so in depth that they'll successfully argue that the Imperial Creed is a truer interpretation of the religion than what the established authorities are preaching.

They also try to preserve most local traditions as much as they can in order to make converting an easier sell with a few exceptions, which are usually traditions we in the modern world would find abhorrent like say; ritual rape or eating people. Cannibalism for example is strictly forbidden by the Imperial Creed <s>except when Space Marines eat people's brains apparently</s> and so missionaries usually try to abolish such traditions and replace them with more symbolic eating of flesh and blood like how at the catholic church the "body and blood of christ" you eat at mass is just bread and wine that stands in for eating the poor bastard of a carpenter. They do however, try to change attitudes towards psykers and mutants to be more in line with official policy; psykers should be compliant servants who will willingly accept being taken by the black ships to serve humanity in some way, not kings and lords ruling over normal humans/being left untrained and exploding into WTFBBQDAEMONS and that unstable mutants need to be culled, while stable [[Abhuman]] sub-species are officially sanctioned and accepted if not wholly equal.

Whether the missionary works from the top down by converting the powers that be who will then enforce the imperial creed on the plebs or from the bottom up by converting the masses who will rise up against their heathen overlords and create a new society depends on the missionary's preferences and what they feel is easiest. As bringing new souls and cultures into the Emperor's light is holy work, just about all strategies are allowed in the name of saving the souls of heathens from the dangers of their ignorance.

As missionaries usually want converts, not corpses; use of force is generally a last resort and even then it's usually said force is used non-violently like having a rogue trader's ship eclipse the sun over their location to spook the primitives or show off the power of the imperial guard. The main exception to this is when the local religion is found to be based around xenos, abominable intelligence, or chaos worship. At this point the missionary's expected task is to call in the guard, sisters, or some other available military force to crack some skulls.

===Confessors & Witch Finders===
Like the [[Inquisition]], the Ecclesiarchy concerns itself with rooting out heresy and apostasy. Unfortunately for the Ecclesiarchy it is not officially sanctioned to do so by the Imperium. However that has not stopped the ministorum from trying.

'''Confessors''' are loud, bombastic and charismatic priests of the Imperial Cult, but are not given specific duties like most members of the priesthood. Instead they are given carte blanche to travel freely from settlement to settlement and "cleanse" them of their sins. Typically by performing rousing soapbox rants about how wicked thoughts make <s>baby Jesus</s> the EMPEROR cry. So people are encouraged to come forward to confess their sins to the confessor where he can decide an appropriate penance for them to clear their consciences. Confessors can be like the 40k equivalent of celebrities, and there is often great anticipation of their arrival in town, and big crowds show up to hear them preach (and probably hear their neighbours salacious confessions too). Sometimes people don't want (or have sins) to confess, so the confessor has to take it a [[RIP AND TEAR|little bit further]] to coax the individual to think hard about their crimes. Usually to the point of the penance afterwards being more merciful than the coaxing itself. Frequently employed as Inquisitorial henchmen.

'''Witch Finders''' fulfill much the same function, except are far more pro-active in "finding" sinners but are not necessarily required to be ordained priests, and many of whom are actually [[Inquisitor]]s-in-training. Results can vary in their effectiveness in finding heretics though, since they usually take a religious approach to determining the guilty rather than an investigative approach like normal "sane" people. Some examples of this crazy manner of determining guilt is to lock a suspect in an airlock and evacuate the air for an hour, Or to bury a suspect to his neck in sand and sew their mouth shut and leave them for a week... if they survive then they are deemed a witch and must be incinerated. While this is logically true, since if they survive they MUST be supernatural, it doesn't seem very hopeful for the innocent now does it? At least the Inquisition-proper occasionally gives you some intelligent form of investigation, even if you still die for being innocent.

==Notable Members==
* [[Arch-Confessor Kyrinov]], an Arch-Confessor who uses overt loud-mouthed preaching to conceal the fact that he's a cunning manipulator, often subverting heresies from within.
* [[Uriah Jacobus]], a belligerent old missionary who won't stop spreading the word of the Emperor to the darkest parts of the galaxy even though a sane person probably would've retired decades ago.
* [[Cardinal Armandus Helfire]], a bear of a man, Helfire can often be found leading Wars of Faith against Chaos forces near the Eye of Terror. Despite his station, he can often be found living and fighting amongst the soldiers he leads.
*[[Witch Finder Tantalid]]

{{Template:Imperium}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]]

Logan Grimnar

2021-02-13T06:20:04Z

2001:8003:648E:7C00:D524:A2D0:3BF7:ADA2: Added in about the macharius

[[Image:LoganGrimnar.jpg|thumb|Right|350px|Calgar wishes he was this cool... or old. Wait...that white star on his right shoulder...it has [[Chaos|'''''eight points''''']]]]
{{Topquote|Logan Grimnar, Bloody-Handed Warrior, he [[Khorne|piles the skulls of his enemies]], he builds a mound of the fallen, his foes weep rivers of blood."<br>"Logan Grimnar, strong wolf of the pack, his Axe hungers for red flesh, his guns thirst for battle, he laughs amidst the war-din."<br>"Logan Grimnar, father of wolves, his sons haunt his enemies, slay them where they falter and bring their pelts to Fenris.|from The Saga Of The Old Wolf (excerpt)}}

{{Topquote|1=<span style='color:green;font-size:100%'>Even a Grot knows dat da King of da Wolf Boyz is da biggest and da baddest Space Marine da ever was. E's bigga den a Deff Dread, wiff a 'ead like a Gnasher Squig but... hairier. E's got six arms and dey all made of shooty bits and choppas and spikey bitz and if ya shoot at him e don't care kuz e's too tough. E's voice is so loud e can shout at the sky and make it fall down, and if e gives you a wallop den bits of you go everywhere like when Grogruk ate dat stikkbomb fer a dare. Even Gork and Mork think e's hard.</span>|2=Nozbrog, Ork Boy, on Logan Grimnar}}

[[Image:Stormrider.jpg|thumb|350px|right|7th Edition gave the old man the opportunity to finally be Santa Claus...except more wolfier.]]
'''Logan Grimnar''' is <s>Santa Claus</s> Chapter Master of the [[Space Wolves]], and all-around cool guy. He has been the Space Wolves Chapter master for over 700 years and has been kicking ass even longer, making him one of the oldest Chapter Masters, after [[Dante]] of the Blood Angels. He has shown great battle prowess and his thirst for [[Khorne|blood]] rivals that of their mighty Primarch, [[Leman Russ]]. As such, he is said to be the greatest living warrior in the Imperium. Grimnar wears a suit of [[terminator]] armour equipped with a storm bolter and carries his trusty axe Morkai (which he got from beating the shit out of a [[Chaos]] champion and stealing it from him, then beating the corruption out of the daemon weapon until it submitted to him). Except he didn't beat it all out, the axe being a khornate weapon allowed him to get a decent hit on Magnus, much to the Blood God's amusement.

The [[Ecclesiarchy]] does not like him, and has charged him on multiple counts of treason and [[heresy]] for being a decent person to the Imperial Guard and other non-Astartes organizations. Like after the [[Armageddon]] War (in which he actually managed to make [[Angron]] even [[RAGE|ANGRIER]]), when those assholes in the [[Inquisition]] decided to purge all the Guardsmen who fought there because they were "tainted" or some shit (Which makes zero sense as the Imperial Guard fights chaos all the time) and Grimnar called them out on their dickery. As a result, the Inquisition keeps clear of [[Fenris]] whenever it can, for fear of what might happen. Yes, you read that right. The Inquisition has no fear of the heretic, the xeno, or the daemon, but Logan Grimnar? He gives them fucking night terrors. There is good reason for this, though. Can you imagine how pissed the entirety of the Adeptus Astartes would be if the Inquisition went after a First Founding Chapter for little more reason than "they wouldn't let us murder a planet they saved". The Inquisition had best pray the [[Celestial Lions]] don't run into any Space Wolves on their way to Terra (stubborn, aren't they?), or their organization might not exist for much longer. ''(Unfortunately the CLs' Terran delegation was rekt mysteriously. Sob.)

When <strike>that fucking failure</strike> The thrice cursed Warmaster[[Abaddon]] kicked off the [[13th Black Crusade]], good ol' [[Creed]] knew just the person to call. See, Grimnar is an old drinking buddy of the clever Cadian (which says a lot about Creed's stamina, as Space Wolves only drink [[Fenris]]ian), and when the massed Legions of Chaos came knocking on the Cadian Gate he knew the Old Wolf would have his back. Grimnar rocked up and ran the show, combining his testosterone fueled manliness with the brass balls of Creed to put the Armless Wonder back in his place. He was named Supreme Commander of the Imperial Forces, which included Ecclesiarchy and Inquisition Forces, who took it about as well as you would expect. He then proceeded to fucking [[fail]] and [[Cadia]] got destroyed.

In the meantime, [[Magnus the Red]] was once again up to no good and started causing trouble in Logan's neighborhood. He had to hurry back [[Fenris|home]] to get the damn Nerd King off his lawn. [[awesome|Which he managed to do]], but The Fenris system was still pretty fucked by a combination of [[Thousand Sons|nerds]], [[Death Guard|fa/tg/uys]], [[Dark Angels|closet heretics]] and [[Grey Knights|gay knights]] (at least all the Imperials were on the same side this time, and the Dark Angels didn't just believe what they were told because they remember being tricked before about the Wulfen thing and this hesitance enabled them to avoid being tricked into attacking the Space Wolves again); and at present the Chief Wolf is shaking his head as to how he's going to sort out this ungodly mess and what the hell he's supposed to do with [[Primaris Marines|Rawbutt Girlyman's gift]]. Psyche, it gets fixed by the [[Indomitus Crusade]], and he tosses the new boys in with the old with little issues; some of them even going on to finally start to make Russ' "Sons of Russ" successor chapter dream a [[Wolfspear|reality]].

He is the only known [[furry]] that you can think is FUCKING AWESOME without being [[Commissar|HERE-BLAMMED]].

No relation to [[Warriors of Chaos|Wulfrik, Garmr Hrodvitner, Valmir Aesling, Sven Bloody-Hand]] nor any other Norscan.

It should also be mentioned in his younger years, he was tasked with assisting Lord Macharius in several exploits, and forged a strong relationship with both the Lord Solar Commander and his bodyguard, Lemuel, who foolishly tried to go drink for drink with the wolves.

He also has a hover-chariot pulled by wolves as of 7E. We have no fucking clue as to why this is a thing.

==Logan Grimnar and the Inquisition==
Logan Grimnar is thought to be something of a renegade by the Inquisition and the Administratum, particularly for his actions after the First War for Armageddon. The Inquisition thought that everyone but themselves and the Space Marines who participated in the war were tainted by Chaos. In addition, the Administratum didn't want people to find out that the Imperium was weaker than they said it was, since Angron's forces had decimated Armageddon's population and cities. So they ordered the PDF, all the serving guardsmen, and civilians of Armageddon to be sterilized and rounded up into work camps to slave for the rest of their short lives while Armageddon is re-populated. There was also the order of mind-wiping his marines due to them witnessing the Grey Knights.

Naturally, this horrified and pissed off Grimnar ([[Noblebright|who thought this was a complete insult to everyone who gave everything they had to stop Angron's rampage]]), and he ordered his forces to protect all the departing Imperial Guard troop carriers with his fleet, but he forbade his soldiers from firing on the Inquisition, at least at first. This action naturally pissed-off the Inquisition. While not in open war, some ''very'' bad blood existed between the two parties, more specifically between Logan and Inquisitor Lord Ghesmei Kysnaros, the inquisitor responsible for purging the old population of Armageddon. Eventually the Inquisition under the guise that they wanted to bury the hatchet, decided to negotiate a truce with the Space Wolves in neutral space....then the stupid started to commence.

The Inquisition and Grey Knights opened fire on the Space Wolves' fleet, with the Space Wolves losing 3 ships and having 1 crippled. Apparently, instead of trying to reach a mutual understanding, the Inquisition thought that it was a better idea to force the Space Wolves to surrender and force them to take a crusade of penance. You can imagine how the Old Wolf took this. So, he was brought into the Grey Knights command ship, under the guise of opening diplomatic channels, though when he arrived he proceeded to behead Grand Master Joros' for firing on his fleet. The Wolves tried to teleport back to their ships, but when the teleport temporarily failed, they gunned down four justicars with their Storm Bolters and said their farewells. [[The Guy Who Cried Grendel|Apparently, either Logan's totally not heretical daemon axe grew Instant Death out of nowhere, or else our Spiritual Liege lent to the Space Wolves the Ultramarines' piped metaphysical dices]][[Bullshit|, a shame Chaos demons & marines can't deal with Grey Knights so easily]].

This lead to a period of time called "The Months of Shame", in which the Space Wolves became more hostile, throwing aside their earlier passive resistance, even destroying a number of Inquisition ships in revenge for their earlier betrayal.

The Inquisition (who generally aren't the type to admit a mistake or apologize to anyone), decided to go to Fenris loaded for bear (or wolf, in this case). In addition to the Inquisition storm troopers, they also called upon more grey knight vessels and the entire Red Hunters chapter(!) of space marines. The Inquisition intended to bring Wolves to heel (pun intended) with the power of the Inquisition and force them into a penitent crusade for their action through a show of strength. This may seem like a giant ego trip on the part of the Inquisition, but keep in mind that a lot of an Inquisitor's power comes from fear and a facade of omnipotence. By challenging that, the Space Wolves could potentially erode the inquisition's power, and thus their ability to do their rather vital work.

[[Image:Meme_Warhammer_40K%2C_No_Lives_Matter%2C_Only_The_Imperium_of_Man.jpg|thumb|350px|right|The [[Marines Malevolent|official stance]] of the [[Imperium]] (and presumably of most of the Adeptus Astartes) on the Months of Shame.]]

The Inquisition landed on Fenris to "negotiate" a peace agreement with the guns of their fleet aimed at the Fang the whole time. While The Fang is one of the most formidable fortifications in the galaxy, only rivaled by the Keep Inviolate, [[The Rock]], and the Emperor's Palace on Holy Terra, at that time The Fang was barely manned, what with most of the chapter being deployed elsewhere, the threat was very real. As "negotiations' began the majority of the Wolves' fleet jumped into the system and engaged the Inquisition Armada (normally one would think that a single chapter's fleet against an entire armada would be pretty one sided, but the space wolves have an almost hilariously formidable fleet. They have EIGHT battle barges (A truly staggering number given most chapters only have '''one''' of these big capital ships on average) and THIRTY FUCKING STRIKE CRUISERS. THIRTY. During the fighting, Logan and a force of 20 [[Terminator]]s, boarded inquisitor Lord Kysnaros' ship and slaughtered the crew, along with the inquisitor.

But in the end, the Space Wolves could not hope to defeat the forces of the Ordo Malleus and an entire Space Marine chapter at the same time without horrendous losses on both sides (which would be detrimental to them and the Imperium as a whole), so Bjorn told Logan to cut his shit out. The chapter was more important than any human survivors, and the inquisitor who had started the whole mess was dead. Due in no small part to the remaining Inquisitors and Grey Knights being awed at being in Bjorn's presence (after all, he fought beside E-Money back in the day), the Space Wolves and the Inquisition settled everything and broke off the current conflict. They didn't declare the Space Wolves heretics and Logan reluctantly let go of his vendetta, if not his rage.

To this day however, Ol' Grimmy still hates the Administratum and the Inquisition for their actions on Armageddon; the latter in particular for their altercation. The advice of Ulrik the Slayer and the gentle "advice" of Bjorn keep Logan from renewing hostilities. While the Inquisition takes great care not to get on the Space Wolves' bad side anymore, lest they risk a war with one of the only loyalist chapters who has the balls to give them the middle finger and say: "Fuck you, we do what we want". And yet, just because of Bjorn's [[Omnissiah|deus ex machina]], [[Wat|the Inquisition has been very generous]], because any other Chapter would get excomunicated or sent into a crusade of penance for less than what they did, such as doing Exterminatus on an undevelopped baseline agriworld populated mostly by mutant workers being slaved away ; in all likeliness though the "Months of Shame" may simply be a way to explain conflicts between the Grey Knights and the Space Wolves in the wargame. Except, not really. Because if the Inquisition didn't settle things, they'd have been fucked. The rest of the Astartes would not tolerate a Chapter, especially [[Horus Heresy|a First Founding Chapter, being either destroyed or forced on a penance crusade]] for ''defending Imperial citizens.'' If it can happen to the Space Wolves, it can happen to them. So, if the Inquisition won, the Inquisition would have been exterminated as an organization that relies on merely human intellect to succeed and survive is '''''fucked''''' against super-human intellect with a vendetta.

That said, while Logan hates the Inquisition as a whole, he still gives individual Inquisitors a fair shake if they're willing to prove themselves, which we see in the second book in [[Ragnar Blackmane]]'s series of novels.

==On the Tabletop==

{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || M || WS || BS || S || T || W || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Logan Grimnar:''' || 140 || 5 || 2+ || 2+ || 4 || 4 || 7 || 5 || 10 || 2+/4++
|}

Now Logan costs 140 points / 155 on Stormrider. He is not LOW anymore, taking his deserved place near other HQ. His Axe still has 2 profiles: One-handed - S +2, AP -3, DMG D3; Two-handed - S x2, AP -3, DMG 3 (-1 to hit roll, though). He got special rules too, first - Chapter Master: re-roll failed hit rolls for friendly SPACE WOLVES within 6" of him (NICE!) plus with his Saga of Majesty the bubble is now 9" if he is your Warlord(EVEN NICER!), second - High King of Fenris: ALL Wolf Guard do not need to take Morale tests (at all, meaning they are technically fearless). Gear wise he still has a Storm Bolter (Rapid Fire 2 now), and the option to take STORMRIDER (yeah!) This makes him a VEHICLE now, with the same combat stats but Movement 10/7/4, a Toughness of 6, 12 wounds and a regular 2+ save (at last). However, they let him re-roll charges on the sled and also get 6/5/4 S5 AP-1 D1 hits after his attacks have been resolved. With codex he got point reduction with almost no changes (except for 2+ save on chariot and 9'inches aura, thx to his warlord trait). It is probably still better to take him on foot, as all models with 10+ wounds can be picked as a target even in a mass of bodies.
That being said, his speed and abilities synergize very well with thunderwolf cavalry, and his 4++ makes him surprisingly resilient against lascannons. Add an Ironpriest on thunderwolf to the mix, and you can repair Stormrider on the run. An expensive little blob, but hits hard enough to bring down small titans!

==Logan Grimnar gets a talking to==
"Brothers, brothers, let us call the grand convocation of chapter masters to order."

Slowly hush descended as various post human supermen put down glasses of wine or forkfuls of food, all save for Pedro Kantor and Helbrecht who were eating large spoonfuls of chocolate pudding whilst staring at Vladimir Pugh making loud mmmmmm noises. Pugh's face was growing redder by the second.

"Brothers, order please!" Dante of the Blood Angels slammed a fist on the lectern.

"I have called this conference to discuss a very pressing problem, I speak of course of the wolf issue."

Angry muttering filled the room, the Space Wolves new armoury had caused consternation in the fellow astartes chapters.

"Logan Grimnar, you and I have known each other for hundreds of years, we have fought by each other's side more times than I can remember so as a friend I have brought you here to tell you that this shit has to stop. We could cope with the Wolf Guard, fuck it we could even deal with everything being called wolf but this." A picture of the the wolf sled appeared on the holo projector "This has to stop friend."

"Hypocrite!" bellowed a Space Wolf. "Don't think we've forgotten about deep striking land raiders, or the obsession with blood."

"At least they're not furries!" a voice yelled and was met by a cheer.

Now it was Grimnar's turn to stand.

"Hunting Fenrisian wolves is part of our culture, we have a right to take trophies."

"So do we," rumbled Tu'shan of the Salamanders, "but you don't see us with ears and tail." He gave a worried look at his Firedrakes as they were each covered with horns and scales and made a mental note to have a chat with them back on Nocturne.

"Logan we do not wish to insult you but we just wanted to show you how far-"

"You have come to being a total faggot!" yelled Gabriel Seth who threw a bread roll for added emphasis.

Logan gave a sigh as the roll stuck to the wolf pelt on his armor.

"Brothers, surely you can forgive a first founding chapter their..." he glanced at the wolf swords of his Wolf Guard "their little eccentricities, have we not done much for the cause of the Imperium. By our actions, the Inquisition have been told to back off from interfering in the affairs of our chapters and by our blades have countless innocent lives been saved" (muttering greeted this statement as the definition of 'innocent' was one that was up for close debate amongst the various chapters). "We all after all have our iconography, the Dark Angels bolt stonework to everything, the Salamanders have their scales, we have our wolves I find it breathtaking" Logan's voice raised to a deafening yell "that other chapters would have the audacity to interfere-"

"You make us all look ridiculous!" yelled a Silver Skull.

The debate raged for two hours more until eventually the Great Wolf and his Wolf Guard were driven from the hall in a hail of bread rolls and catcalls.

Later Logan found himself trudging the deep passages of the Fang, lost in his own thoughts, he had exchanged his armour for the loose tunics the Wolves wore when not in battle and his footsteps echoed through the dimly lit corridors he passed Murderfang being wrestled into containment by a trio of Iron Priests.

"YIFF!" it screamed gnashing at the air "YIFF! YIFF! YIFF!" Logan winced and carried onward to an ornate vault which swung open at his touch.

"LOGAN!" a voice boomed from the darkness "What brings you here this night?"

In an jewel encrusted alcove stood the squat form of Bjorn the Fell Handed, the ancient dreadnought beckoned with a claw.

"Come Logan, sit and tell me what ails you boy."

Logan pulled a short three legged stool from a corner, noting the mating wolves carved on the top. The Great Wolf sank forward head in his hands.

"Where did it all go wrong Bjorn? We used to be feared and loved. Everyone wanted to be us. When the chapter walked and met it's fellows, they would respect us. Now they laugh."

There was a mechanical sigh from the sarcophagus.

"It's because we just aren't scary anymore son. We used to be gods, we were downright terrifying. Do you know why people used to join us back in the day?"

"For honour, for being selected to fight in the Allfather's crusade?

"WRONG" yelled Bjorn "It wasn't for honour. It wasn't to see the stars. Sure as shit wasn't to pansy around with the Allfather, it was for these reasons: drinking, fighting, bitches. Becoming an astartes gave you lots of all three. We were supermen for crying out loud, all young and fired up and ready to go. People were scared of us not because we loved death but because we LOVED LIFE, we loved BEING an astartes, we loved the blood and booze and the pillaging. We were raiders and reavers and lunatics. You," Bjorn pointed a claw at Logan "have lost sight of that. "We had enthusiasm."

"But what does this have to with the whole 'wolf thing'?"

"Because you think the wolf thing was what gave us identity, made us special but it wasn't. What made us special was that we were sweaty beardy angry savages with guns and gene implants. We wore the teeth and totems to remind us of home. Wolves didn't define us, they were a part of the rich primal heritage of Fenris, one symbol amongst many."

==We Space Santa Now==
[[Image:Santa-Logan-Grimnar.jpg|thumb|Right|350px|HOHOHO! MERRY <s>WOLF DAY</s> CANDLEMAS, HERETIC!!]]
It is told amongst children of the Imperium, that if you are a good non-heretical boy, and recite your psalms to the Emperor before bedtime, on one magical night of the Imperial calendar, a merry bearded astartes will bring gifts of wolves, mead, and the slaughter of heretics to your system. Of course, all the bad boys get melta bombs in their presents.

Logan-clause resides in the north pole of the Imperium, Fenris, working all year round in his workshop at the top of the Fang, with his band of merry elfstartes, artificing toys, and wolves and boltguns for all good children.

{{Marines-Characters}}

[[Category:Space Wolves]]
[[Category:Space Marines Chapter Masters]]

Lukas the Trickster

2021-02-13T06:07:34Z

2001:8003:648E:7C00:D524:A2D0:3BF7:ADA2: Fixed grammar error

[[File:Lukas the Trickster2.jpg|350px|thumbnail|right|Space Marines that are versed in the art of [[Troll|Trolling]] exist, and Lukas is the Godfather of them all.]]

{{Topquote|I think you have my eyes. It must've been your great, maybe great-great, grandmother I was... Acquainted with.|Lucas with a blood claw that looks familiar.}}

In a chapter known for its rebellious streak and tendency to stick a middle finger up at larger [[Imperial]] authority to get shit done, Lukas the Trickster of the [[Space Wolves]] (also called the Strifeson, the Laughing One, the Jackalwolf, and That Enormous Prick; the last by both enemies and lovers) stands out for his legendary example of these...traits. He is despised by half the Wolf Lords for his constant mooning them during council meetings but does he care? Nah, he sees it all as part of the fun. He has never made it out of the Blood Claw packs due to his perceived immaturity but there is no denying his skills are far beyond most Wolf Guards and then some.

He also has renown as a serial shagger amongst the womenfolk of [[Fenris]] with the stamina of a herd of stallions; on one famed occasion, he famously once slept with a dozen women in one night. That might sound stupid, but Space Wolves recruit them relatively old, Fenris could be like some of Earth's historical societies where a boy became a man at age 13 (thus being able to start having sex then, if not slightly earlier) and the Space Wolves are famous for not becoming asexual with multiple Space Wolf characters still displaying sexual attraction to various women, so this could have happened at anytime. In the novel with his name, Lukas stated he also has tons of illegitimate children or other assorted descendants (one of the female characters who has his hair and eyes is all but stated to be one of his descendants) and he secretly goes around looking after his bastard children when he's not doing Space Marine stuff (that's surprisingly responsible and manly of him) with the implication he still sleeps around. It's also worth remembering that it is never stated that the Astartes are sterile (though GW flip-flops about whether or not Space Marines have their genitals removed) they're just conditioned to ignore sexual impulses as distractions, but the Space Wolves don't seem to do it because they consider getting laid a lot to be a sign of manly warrior strength to boast and laugh about at the mess hall. Keep in mind that Space Marines technically aren't genetically modified. They are filled with growth hormones of various kinds (probably mostly ones that don't occur naturally in addition to testosterone) to make them big, biological and artificial implants are stuck in them and various body parts are replaced (eyes and ears for instance) and the progenoid manages these implants and ensures the body does not reject them (usually). But, growth hormone treatment is not genetic alteration. They're still normal humans with extra stuff added to them, so they would still be able to have perfectly normal human children provided they still had dicks. In fact, they'd probably be very virile.

The only reason Logan Grimnar has not exiled him from the Chapter is because he recognizes that Lukas represents the rebellious nature of the Wolves and because for all of his antics Lukas is loyal to the organization itself, still gets the job done and gets it done well. Also, the other half of the Wolf Lords think he's hilarious.

Since his induction he has shown his penchant for playing 'tricks' on others, although his victims are in little agreement over the humor of it. He locked an [[Inquisitor]]ial Delegation in a grox breeding pen while the creatures were in heat (saucy) and spiked the drink of the Wolf Lord Hrothgar with some bloat-toad venom. These acts have led him to gain something of a cult following amongst the Blood Claws, as big an asshole as he is. Currently he is attached to [[Ragnar Blackmane]]'s company, that being the only group of hot headed idiots capable of stomaching the crazy lout. It helps that Blackmane, who is still a Bloodclaw at heart, is one of the Wolf Lords who thinks Lukas is hilarious, to the point where he stopped Wolf Lord Bjorn Stormwolf from beating him to death for filling his Terminator Armour with bloodlice, making him itch uncontrollably.

When he turns his tricks on the Imperium's enemies however they produce stunning results (perhaps the only reason the hostile half of the Wolf Lords have never kicked him out of the nearest airlock; that and a belief that if they tried, then he'd somehow be the one in the ship and they'd be spacing themselves). He caused an [[Ork]] civil war with a series of faked transmissions; used a necrovirus on the cell of [[Dark Mechanicus|traitor Mechanicus]] adepts that made it in the first place; and caused a bunch of [[Word Bearers]] to land on thin ice, resulting in hundreds of traitor marine deaths, including the [[Chaos Lord]] (that alone would make any battle brother go down in history for grand efforts of trolling and earn a gold star from the Emperor).

His second finest dick move was using ancient tech to good effect during an Ork Waaagh. As the creatures attempted to conquer a planet, Lukas flicked the climate controls from 'normal' to 'chill motha' fuckas!'. When the great company arrived in force they found the orks were little more than ice statues and the temperature a pleasant reminder of home to them. This is also a terrifying example of how ridiculously advanced Dark Age humanity was.

Lukas was only beaten once and by the mad [[Dark Eldar]] corsair [[Duke Sliscus]], who removed Lukas' secondary heart as a parting gift and kicked him out an airlock (which the Wolf Lords had wet dreams about; if it wasn't for the fact that Sliscus was a mood-swinging Dark Eldar, you'd think he and Lukas would bond over their mutual rebellious streak and rampant philandering). Lukas though just laughed about it afterwards and had a stasis bomb put in place of his second heart. Should his primary heart every stop beating then....he will end up having the last laugh on his killer who will be frozen forever in his dying moment of glory.

Recently, Lukas made his finest dick move to date: tricking [[Magnus the Red]] while looking him in the eye. He accompanied [[Njal Stormcaller]] and [[Arjac Rockfist]] to Prospero to rescue some Space Wolf legionaires trapped inside a man-made Webway since the Razing. Magnus caught him and at first threatened him, then tempted him to give up a Rune of Unlocking that would allow his complete take-over of said man-made Webway and use of it to empower him in real space. Lukas gave the thing up, only to reveal that he had never had the aforementioned Rune in hand before being spirited away.

Also, it was revealed that Lukas is secretly afraid of the Wulfen curse.

==On the Tabletop==
Lukas is a Blood Claw with the stat block of a Wolf Guard Battle Leader, the only difference being his Leadership of eight, which any accompanied Blood Claw squad (and he can only join Blood Claws) will be forced to use. Many of the issues with that can easily be averted by adding a Wolf Priest to watch over them, which can be quite viable considering they are a close combat unit.

===7th Edition===
{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || I || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Lukas the Trickster:''' || 80 || 5 || 5 || 4 || 4 || 2 || 5 || 3 || 8 || 3+
|}

Lukas has Acute senses and ATSKNF as he should, plus Counterattack and Independent Character. His special rules are Blood Claws Hero (only blood claws put up with his bullshit), Rebellious (forces his bloodclaw unit to use his leadership of 8 at all times, '''NEVER''' higher) and his famous Last Laugh which stasis bombs an enemy that kills Lukas in a challenge if you beat them on a D6 rolloff. Gear wise Lukas comes with a wolfclaw and a plasma pistol, power armor, and frag and krak grenades.

Note that this Last Laugh, his trademark, was once the bane of Titans everywhere, as he could single-handedly remove any Titan that accidentally stepped on him. As of 7E, it's now been knocked down to just being in challenges and even then if the Player beats the other guy in a roll-off. Yeah, kind of a weak laugh.

===8th Edition===
{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Lukas the Trickster:''' || 80 || 2+ || 3+ || 4 || 4 || 4 || 4 || 8 || 3+
|}

Lukas has ATSKNF as he should, plus the CHARACTER and BLOOD CLAW keywords as he should. His special rules are Blood Claws Hero (only blood claws put up with his bullshit and re-roll wound rolls of 1 within 6 inches of him), Master of Mischief (subtracts 1 to the Leadership of ANY unit within 3 inches of him, yes it does include allied units), The Pelt of the Doppepangrel (subracts 1 to any hit rolls mae against him in close combat) and his famous Last Laugh which stasis bombs an enemy that kills Lukas if you beat them on a D6 rolloff and suffers D6 mortal wounds. Gear wise Lukas comes with a wolfclaw and a plasma pistol, power armor, and frag and krak grenades.

As of 8E, his Last Laugh has now been changed so it only works if he's killed in close combat and even then only if the Player beats the other guy in a roll-off. Yeah, still kind of a weak laugh.

==Trivia==
Lukas is obviously based on the Norse God Loki, the God of Trickery and a good move in the right direction; less furry and more VIKINGS in space please, GW.

{{Marines-Characters}}

[[Category:Space Wolves]]

Lukas the Trickster

2021-02-13T06:07:18Z

2001:8003:648E:7C00:D524:A2D0:3BF7:ADA2: Quote

[[File:Lukas the Trickster2.jpg|350px|thumbnail|right|Space Marines that are versed in the art of [[Troll|Trolling]] exist, and Lukas is the Godfather of them all.]]

{{Topquote|I think you have my eyes. It must've been yuour great, maybe great-great, grandmother I was... Acquainted with.|Lucas with a blood claw that looks familiar.}}

In a chapter known for its rebellious streak and tendency to stick a middle finger up at larger [[Imperial]] authority to get shit done, Lukas the Trickster of the [[Space Wolves]] (also called the Strifeson, the Laughing One, the Jackalwolf, and That Enormous Prick; the last by both enemies and lovers) stands out for his legendary example of these...traits. He is despised by half the Wolf Lords for his constant mooning them during council meetings but does he care? Nah, he sees it all as part of the fun. He has never made it out of the Blood Claw packs due to his perceived immaturity but there is no denying his skills are far beyond most Wolf Guards and then some.

He also has renown as a serial shagger amongst the womenfolk of [[Fenris]] with the stamina of a herd of stallions; on one famed occasion, he famously once slept with a dozen women in one night. That might sound stupid, but Space Wolves recruit them relatively old, Fenris could be like some of Earth's historical societies where a boy became a man at age 13 (thus being able to start having sex then, if not slightly earlier) and the Space Wolves are famous for not becoming asexual with multiple Space Wolf characters still displaying sexual attraction to various women, so this could have happened at anytime. In the novel with his name, Lukas stated he also has tons of illegitimate children or other assorted descendants (one of the female characters who has his hair and eyes is all but stated to be one of his descendants) and he secretly goes around looking after his bastard children when he's not doing Space Marine stuff (that's surprisingly responsible and manly of him) with the implication he still sleeps around. It's also worth remembering that it is never stated that the Astartes are sterile (though GW flip-flops about whether or not Space Marines have their genitals removed) they're just conditioned to ignore sexual impulses as distractions, but the Space Wolves don't seem to do it because they consider getting laid a lot to be a sign of manly warrior strength to boast and laugh about at the mess hall. Keep in mind that Space Marines technically aren't genetically modified. They are filled with growth hormones of various kinds (probably mostly ones that don't occur naturally in addition to testosterone) to make them big, biological and artificial implants are stuck in them and various body parts are replaced (eyes and ears for instance) and the progenoid manages these implants and ensures the body does not reject them (usually). But, growth hormone treatment is not genetic alteration. They're still normal humans with extra stuff added to them, so they would still be able to have perfectly normal human children provided they still had dicks. In fact, they'd probably be very virile.

The only reason Logan Grimnar has not exiled him from the Chapter is because he recognizes that Lukas represents the rebellious nature of the Wolves and because for all of his antics Lukas is loyal to the organization itself, still gets the job done and gets it done well. Also, the other half of the Wolf Lords think he's hilarious.

Since his induction he has shown his penchant for playing 'tricks' on others, although his victims are in little agreement over the humor of it. He locked an [[Inquisitor]]ial Delegation in a grox breeding pen while the creatures were in heat (saucy) and spiked the drink of the Wolf Lord Hrothgar with some bloat-toad venom. These acts have led him to gain something of a cult following amongst the Blood Claws, as big an asshole as he is. Currently he is attached to [[Ragnar Blackmane]]'s company, that being the only group of hot headed idiots capable of stomaching the crazy lout. It helps that Blackmane, who is still a Bloodclaw at heart, is one of the Wolf Lords who thinks Lukas is hilarious, to the point where he stopped Wolf Lord Bjorn Stormwolf from beating him to death for filling his Terminator Armour with bloodlice, making him itch uncontrollably.

When he turns his tricks on the Imperium's enemies however they produce stunning results (perhaps the only reason the hostile half of the Wolf Lords have never kicked him out of the nearest airlock; that and a belief that if they tried, then he'd somehow be the one in the ship and they'd be spacing themselves). He caused an [[Ork]] civil war with a series of faked transmissions; used a necrovirus on the cell of [[Dark Mechanicus|traitor Mechanicus]] adepts that made it in the first place; and caused a bunch of [[Word Bearers]] to land on thin ice, resulting in hundreds of traitor marine deaths, including the [[Chaos Lord]] (that alone would make any battle brother go down in history for grand efforts of trolling and earn a gold star from the Emperor).

His second finest dick move was using ancient tech to good effect during an Ork Waaagh. As the creatures attempted to conquer a planet, Lukas flicked the climate controls from 'normal' to 'chill motha' fuckas!'. When the great company arrived in force they found the orks were little more than ice statues and the temperature a pleasant reminder of home to them. This is also a terrifying example of how ridiculously advanced Dark Age humanity was.

Lukas was only beaten once and by the mad [[Dark Eldar]] corsair [[Duke Sliscus]], who removed Lukas' secondary heart as a parting gift and kicked him out an airlock (which the Wolf Lords had wet dreams about; if it wasn't for the fact that Sliscus was a mood-swinging Dark Eldar, you'd think he and Lukas would bond over their mutual rebellious streak and rampant philandering). Lukas though just laughed about it afterwards and had a stasis bomb put in place of his second heart. Should his primary heart every stop beating then....he will end up having the last laugh on his killer who will be frozen forever in his dying moment of glory.

Recently, Lukas made his finest dick move to date: tricking [[Magnus the Red]] while looking him in the eye. He accompanied [[Njal Stormcaller]] and [[Arjac Rockfist]] to Prospero to rescue some Space Wolf legionaires trapped inside a man-made Webway since the Razing. Magnus caught him and at first threatened him, then tempted him to give up a Rune of Unlocking that would allow his complete take-over of said man-made Webway and use of it to empower him in real space. Lukas gave the thing up, only to reveal that he had never had the aforementioned Rune in hand before being spirited away.

Also, it was revealed that Lukas is secretly afraid of the Wulfen curse.

==On the Tabletop==
Lukas is a Blood Claw with the stat block of a Wolf Guard Battle Leader, the only difference being his Leadership of eight, which any accompanied Blood Claw squad (and he can only join Blood Claws) will be forced to use. Many of the issues with that can easily be averted by adding a Wolf Priest to watch over them, which can be quite viable considering they are a close combat unit.

===7th Edition===
{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || I || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Lukas the Trickster:''' || 80 || 5 || 5 || 4 || 4 || 2 || 5 || 3 || 8 || 3+
|}

Lukas has Acute senses and ATSKNF as he should, plus Counterattack and Independent Character. His special rules are Blood Claws Hero (only blood claws put up with his bullshit), Rebellious (forces his bloodclaw unit to use his leadership of 8 at all times, '''NEVER''' higher) and his famous Last Laugh which stasis bombs an enemy that kills Lukas in a challenge if you beat them on a D6 rolloff. Gear wise Lukas comes with a wolfclaw and a plasma pistol, power armor, and frag and krak grenades.

Note that this Last Laugh, his trademark, was once the bane of Titans everywhere, as he could single-handedly remove any Titan that accidentally stepped on him. As of 7E, it's now been knocked down to just being in challenges and even then if the Player beats the other guy in a roll-off. Yeah, kind of a weak laugh.

===8th Edition===
{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Lukas the Trickster:''' || 80 || 2+ || 3+ || 4 || 4 || 4 || 4 || 8 || 3+
|}

Lukas has ATSKNF as he should, plus the CHARACTER and BLOOD CLAW keywords as he should. His special rules are Blood Claws Hero (only blood claws put up with his bullshit and re-roll wound rolls of 1 within 6 inches of him), Master of Mischief (subtracts 1 to the Leadership of ANY unit within 3 inches of him, yes it does include allied units), The Pelt of the Doppepangrel (subracts 1 to any hit rolls mae against him in close combat) and his famous Last Laugh which stasis bombs an enemy that kills Lukas if you beat them on a D6 rolloff and suffers D6 mortal wounds. Gear wise Lukas comes with a wolfclaw and a plasma pistol, power armor, and frag and krak grenades.

As of 8E, his Last Laugh has now been changed so it only works if he's killed in close combat and even then only if the Player beats the other guy in a roll-off. Yeah, still kind of a weak laugh.

==Trivia==
Lukas is obviously based on the Norse God Loki, the God of Trickery and a good move in the right direction; less furry and more VIKINGS in space please, GW.

{{Marines-Characters}}

[[Category:Space Wolves]]

Leman Russ

2021-02-13T06:00:48Z

2001:8003:648E:7C00:D524:A2D0:3BF7:ADA2: Solid quote about Russ

[[File:RussPortrait.jpg|400px|right|thumb|Leman Russ. Showing that even posthuman viking furries could gain Daddy's ''FABULOUS'' hair. L'Oreal, ''because you’re wolf it''.]]

{{Topquote|It never troubles the wolf how many the sheep may be.|Virgil}}
{{Topquote|Throw me to the wolves and I will return, leading the pack.|Seneca}}
{{Topquote|Wrestle me arm and your spine shall implode.|Russ plays a 'Small Baby Game' with the Dark Eldar}}
{{Topquote|It would have been more if Russ hadn't kept finishing off the ones I wounded. Ask any of the other brothers. Russ is a notorious kill thief.|Vigga Deathblow}}

''Were you looking for the [[Leman Russ Battle Tank|tank]] named after yours truly?''

'''Leman Russ''', '''The Great Wolf''', '''The Lord of Winter and Ruin''', and '''Wolf King of Fenris''', also known as '''Lemon Russ''', '''Lemon Rust''', and '''[[Magnus the Red|That Fucking Furry]]''', not to be confused with the [[Leman Russ (tank)|tank bearing his name]], is the primarch of the [[Space Wolves]] legion. A superhuman nordic king with a warrior's crude humor and a stubborn streak a mile wide. He was such a hard headed son of a bitch, that he's survived extended fights with [[Angron]], [[Magnus]], [[Lion El'Jonson|The Lion]], [[Horus]] and even the Emperor himself. General all-around badass deserving of much respect, but superstitious and flawed, with a serious problem valuing others' points of view, even if he understood them. He's blond underneath [[Rip and Tear|all the blood.]] There appears to be no specific way to pronounce his surename as both the wider Imperium and the Wolves themselves commonly alternate between "R-UH-ss" and "Rh-OOs", when speaking about him or the [[Leman Russ Battle Tank|battle tank named after him]].

==Origins==
[[Image:LEMAN_RUSS.jpg|frame|My hand is fire, my hair is rage, my pauldrons are justice and my cock is wolf. Prepare to die!]]
When the Primarchs were lost, Leman's capsule landed on [[Fenris]], a harsh planet of insane violence that the Norse gods shit out after a three day meth fueled orgy with a tyranid hive fleet. The locals there enjoy a life of fishing, drinking, sailing, fucking, pillaging, and conquering other tribes of people for the modest little islands they all have to live on. Granted, it's also usually a very short life, because they're sharing the world with trolls, yetis, wolves the size of horses, wolves the size of battle tanks, bears the size of a house, whales that kill for fun, and krakens, which are to a squid as a [[Hierophant]] is to a [[Hormagaunt]].

So it was that little baby Russ left his capsule in the polar mountain region of Asaheim. There, some monstrous female wolf found him and said to herself "I WANT!". So Russ was raised by a dire wolf In Spess (google "Romolo and Remo" for a "real life" version). A few years pass, Russ growing up big and strong and hairy, having a grand old time running around the mountains and killing the sheep and such of the humans there with his wolf brothers. Eventually a king named Thengir heard of the Wolf-man, and decreed he be captured and brought to his hall. The mist of ages (and retcons) have hidden the details of Thengir's first meeting with Russ. Some stories would say that Russ was bound and gagged and dragged into the hall of the King Thengir after his Wolf family was slain, others claim a hunting party stumbled across his cave and kicked off a bloody melee in which a dozen hunters were killed, along with Russ's mother, after which the hunters realized they weren't fighting a wolf (they were probably drunk and kind of retarded) and somehow convinced Russ to stand down and come with them, a conversation that may or may not have included copious amounts of alcohol and whores. Thengir took a wondrous interest in Russ and ordered he be educated. In a short time, Russ was trash-talking every short bastard who dared look at him the wrong way, and had become insanely good with weaponry. When Thengir finally died, all declared that Leman of the Russ become the new high King.

Also, remember that Volsung Saga quote regarding Warrior Initiations for [[Angron|Berserks]]? Considering that (according to old Fluff) Sanguinius looked like a young teen adult at 1 year old, Leman Russ passed this trial that when he was around 7-10 months old or so. No wonder he went on to be a [[Eldrad|dick]] [[Primarch#Douchebagginess|with]] [[Magnus|some]] [[Unknown Primarchs|of]] [[Lion El'Jonson|his brothers]] and his new recruits (first, the Space Wolves feed them like they arrived to Valhalla and [[Assholetep|then, throw em in a thunderhawk and kick em into them in the cold wilderness of Fenris until they transform into Wulfen or return home by themselves]]...) and was easily manipulated by the Luna Wolf Primarch in tearing a new asshole to Magnus.

==GW origins==
He was just an ordinary commander who came with two wolves, Freki and Geri. This is them.

[[Image:russ_original.jpg|300px|thumb|frame|left|This is the very first canonical portrayal of Leman Russ. I shit you not (In Rogue Trader; before primarchs were a thing, but still.)]]

http://www.solegends.com/citrt2/rt070121LemanRuss/Wd117p80070121SWCommanderLemanRussx-01.htm

==The Next Step==
Russ conquered and took. He bartered and traded. He united the people of Asaheim under his rule. Somehow, the Emprah heard of it and realized it all had to be the work of a Primarch. So then he attended a royal banquet in the Hall of the Mountain Ki- I mean Leman Russ. The Emprah, taking a leaf out of Odin's book, disguised himself as some old geezer, then waited until the right moment to reveal his true identity. When he did Russ refused to bow down and challenged him to several contests, he ate so much the Emprah was forced to back down. Russ drank so much the Emprah was forced to back down. By now, the Emprah was fairly surprised at finally being out-done by someone else, Russ gazed upon the Emperor and challenged him in combat, and so did the Emprah raise his Power Glove into the air for all to see, and so did he then bring it down on Leman Russ's head, knocking him the fuck out in one solid hit.

[[Image:russ_furry_original.jpg|300px|thumb|frame|right|...and this is the first portrayal getting ready for a furry con.]]

Of course fluff changes and a 1-hit KO wasn't very fulfilling, so the new lore arrived: After the Emperor revealed himself Leman Russ skipped the eating and drinking contests and just challenged the Emperor to a fight. It is unknown whether the Emperor was in his full armour and actually had his Power Fist at the time, or whether he used his psychic powers; but the duel lasted for hours. (Presumably Russ did a lot better this time by virtue of not being drunk.) In the end, though the Emperor, presumably pissy that Leman was waving his cock in his face by just straight up fighting him, punched him square in the face and dropped him. When Russ awoke, he laughed it off and swore loyalty to the one who managed to beat him. Afterwards he ended up in command of the one Space Marine legion that knows how to eat, drink, brawl and make war upon any asshole that mocks their Thunderwolf.

Rumour has it that the Emp was so pleased with Russ' prowess, that he tasked him and the Space Wolves to be his executioners and it seems Russ is the reason the 2nd and 11th Legions no longer exist. So he has experience fucking up a Primarch, which is pretty goddamn manly. (Not confirmed by any sources and is not more than passing conversation in one Black Library novel, other than that, yeah totally definitely didn't kill the other legions. Also if you take how he acted with Angron and Magnus, he totally hated his job of being the executioner... and apparently thought Lorgar was a pretty cool guy).

(The novel "Betrayer" give's Angron's version of their run-in, where he tells to Lorgar what happened. Russ had taken it upon himself to school the World Eaters as he was disgusted by their behavior. Angron was having none of Russ's babbling and picked a fight with him by insulting the Big.E. Angron eventually defeats Russ in single combat, but because only he was fighting to kill while Russ was trying to teach. It then ends with the Space Wolves entirely outmaneuvering the Eaters and winning a tactical victory by surrounding Angron, some more hissing vitriol between the two Primarchs and Angron leaving. The World Eaters believed they won due to a higher kill count and the Wolves leave disappointed that their legion brothers were too retarded to see the lesson Russ was teaching. It is pretty telling that even <u>Lorgar</u> replies to Angron that he was a complete tool on that night and would have been killed after hearing him boast of how he won against Russ. With that said, Lorgar was able to get Angron to learn the lesson Russ was trying to teach him by just talking to him ''for two minutes'', and he did it without getting a shit load of his own men killed or getting his ass kicked in a duel. Not only does it show just how badly Russ failed at what he had set out to do on the Night of the Wolf, but also how his own hot headedness and fundamental inability to understand his brothers can royally bite him in the ass.)

Apart from that, Russ and his Space Wolves had a goddamn good time during the Great Crusade, although it hasn't been written about so this is all we can guess. Until ''Inferno'' dropped. It turns out that Russ became the Emperor's executioner in the process of fighting the Rangdan Xenocides, which saw entire Army regiments, Titan Legions and [REDACTED] Space Marine Legions (could be Chapters, could actually be entire Legions) wiped out. With the Luna Woves up to the eyes in glorious warfare in the Galactic East, Russ and the VI headed north along with the I Legion - this is the war that ended the I's time as the largest Legion. The end of the Xenocides entailed a series of bio-pogroms which left the Wolves with a very ugly reputation, and from then on Russ' role was the doer of necessary dirty deeds.

==Burning of Prospero and the Horus Heresy==

When that bitch-ass [[Horus]] started whining and crying, Leman Russ and his Legion were on their way to Prospero to bring Magnus the Red to Terra for questioning. Horus intercepted the message and re-worded it to order Russ to destroy Magnus and his Thousand Sons, and interestingly Russ found when they arrived at Prospero he didn't want to do that. He decided to go against the orders he thought were legit, and instead detain him and his legion so that they could be transported to Terra (ironically doing exactly what his legit orders were by going against what he thought they were), but when Magnus refused to answer the phone and the Thousand Sons' calls were all being blocked by the Primarch (and by a Tzeentch Daemon in disguise) he became more and more annoyed, and eventually he was pissed off enough that he and the Space Wolves carried out a class-10 clusterfucking on Prospero (aided along a bit by Magnus himself lowering his planet's defenses because he wanted to atone for his wrongdoings in the dumbest fucking way possible). It should have ended with the glorious finale where Leman Russ himself lifted Magnus the Red over his shoulders and broke the sorcerer's back over his knee (rumour has it that Russ could be heard shouting “Ah yes. I was wondering what would break first: your spirit… or your body!”...turns out it was both at the same time!). But even so, the red bastard managed to utter one single word of power and escaped through the fucking ground. Russ was so enraged that he ordered the 13th company of Space Wolves to pursue the fleeing Thousand Sons through their pansy-ass portals.

(Though Russ lost his duel with Magnus. The Red Giant gained the upperhand and was going to kill Russ had his two Wolf Pets not intervene and distracted Magnus enough for Russ to counter-attack and win. 3 vs 1, Pathetic. Only Corax and Dorn were able to beat Traitor Primarchs on their own during the Heresy)

This said, winning the Battle of Prospero left a bitter taste in Russ' mouth and complicated things for the Wolves in the long run. First of all, despite his reputation as the Emperor's Executioner, fighting Magnus took a serious toll on Russ. Rumour has it, that during the battle between those two demigods Magnus, by psychic means, laid his heart and mind bare to Russ, revealing that he knew not only every blow that was coming from his brother, but everything that he had come to know, accepting his failure and his fate, which was defeat. In the recently published Horus Heresy novel Wolfsbane Magnus' last words to Russ are finally revealed "You are a sword in the wrong hands. You have severed an innocent neck." In other words: Magnus was even aware that the wolves had been manipulated into wiping the Thousand Sons out, instead of detaining them and bringing them back to Terra (but not aware he wasn't actually innocent), and the idiot just let it happen instead of talking to Russ who wanted to ignore his orders and detain the Sons, in order to bring them back to Terra.

It will be interesting to see how GW tries to fill the logic gap regarding the hatred of Magnus towards the wolves now, considering he obviously *knew* that Russ had been manipulated into killing Magnus and the entirety of the Burning of Prospero is directly his fault. One easy way out would be the loss of the shard of Magnus that held his nobility which was absorbed by Ianus (first grandmaster of the Grey Knights, a former Thousand Son that was in the process of succumbing to the flesh change when this little "accident" occurred), but most fans would prefer a more convincing explanation. Seeing a hypergenius like Magnus hating the Space Wolves for destroying his legion - irrespective of the fact that he *knew* that they had been manipulated into doing so and the fact that he intentionally chose for his legion to be destroyed - makes less sense with Magnus' added layer of remorse and self-awareness. Then again, said hypergenius, even at his best and most complete, had a monumental know-it-all complex, a lot of pride in his life's work, and a long history of mutual scorn with Russ. That, plus the fact that Primarchs are not known for [[Konrad Curze|making]] [[Rogal Dorn|rational]] and [[Perturabo|empathic]] [[Angron|decisions]] [[Horus Heresy|with one another]], might help explain some of it.
[[File:Battle_of_Trisolian.jpg|280px|thumb|right|Only room for one wolf pelt wearing Primarch in this universe.]]
Either way, the events of Prospero shook the Wolf King deeply, but Russ decided to carry on and try to make the best of a real clusterfuck of a situation. (An Inquisitor once called it an "emo phase" in front of a Rune Priest, and was fed balls-first to a Thunderwolf.) Not long after that, the news of the Drop Site Massacre reached the Wolves; which was another blow for the Wolf King. In his own words, Russ felt he'd been "in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing", wasting his time and men fighting an eventually futile battle instead of standing with his brother Primarchs against the real threat. Just to make things worse, the [[Battle of the Alaxxes Nebula|Alpha Legion turned up to batter the Wolves]] and prevent them from heading to Terra and helping Big E. As the rotten cherry on top of an already really bad cake, the White Scars, who'd been bros with the Thousand Sons and had no idea why Russ had just decided to fuck them up royally seemingly out of the blue, weren't going to help them after Prospero. But the [[Dark Angels]] of all people aided the Wolves in fighting off the Alpha Legion, letting the Wolves damage their fleet to an impressive degree. A plus here was that [[Bjorn the Fell-Handed]] came to his attention, setting the young warrior on the path to ironclad badassness. This said, when he went to Yarant to fight the main Traitor advance, Russ was badly injured, entering a coma and giving Bjorn temporary command of the Legion. He bought Dorn and the Emperor more time, but didn't make it back to Terra until it was too late.

Oh and Empy totally gave him a spear after most of the Terran members of his original legion died fighting various gribbly xenos. Including Tyranids. Yup. Said spear was tossed into a certain Daemon Primarchs single eye, thereby preventing him from manifesting in reality AND resurrecting his legion. Russ totally hated this spear btw. At one point Russ tried to hit a moon orbiting some planet (he was drunk, don't judge) and the spear was lost for months [[troll|but since it had been a gift from Big.E the Wolves did spend said months searching for it]]. In the novel "Wolfsbane" and the short story "Two Metaphysical Blades," it's revealed he was secretly fearful of the spear and purposefully avoided using it while claiming he was a short range fighter that preferred swords and axes; "forgetting" it at conferences before people brought it back. He later uses it and became fond of it as a weapon after a trip into the Warp revealed its intended purpose in parallel with his role. Later he uses said spear to [[Battle of Trisolian|fight]] chaos-empowered Horus, after another try to get rid of it. He manages to stop the Warmaster with it, but then he acts like a fucking idiot, instead of just killing Horus and ending the rebellion then and there, he tries to reach out to Horus' good side and gets fucked up because of it.

Funny thing, that spear. It's actually the twin of another spear, the Apollonian Spear, wielded by the commander of the Custodes, Constantin Valdor. Russ's spear is known by many names, including Gungnir (the spear of Odin), simply the Spear of Russ, and others. But, this spear and its twin were both crafted by Big E and infused with parts of His psychic insight, so before any of those other names it was called the Dionysian spear. Now, this is a bit of a deep cut on GWs part, but the Apollonian and Dionysian actually refers to the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche (feeling lost yet?), who was in turn writing about the Greek gods Apollo and Dionysus. In Nietzsche's philosophy, the Apollonian is representative of everything bright and individual, meaning life and the person living it, as well as order and stability. The Dionysian, however, is representative of the primordial state from which all things originally emerge, the CHAOTIC nothingness from which the individual Apollonian springs forth. So, bringing it back to 40k, the Apollonian spear of Constantin Valdor can impart the memories of the person it kills to its wielder, capturing that individual and orderly moment. When inquired by Valdor, the Emperor intended it to be a tool to make Valdor understand his foes and as a check to keeping from getting too arrogant. What does Russ's spear, the Dionysian spear do? Well, we really don't know, but if the novel Wolfsbane is anything to go by, it seems that at least a couple people believe it's the weapon best suited for killing a Primarch. As seen with how the spear stabbed Russ and showed him how horrifying the truth of the Primarchs' origins were and how it erased all the corruption temporarily from Horus' mind, it's certainly a potent and terrifying weapon. And since the Primarchs are essentially the Emperor's Own Daemonkin, it stands to reason that the Dionysian Spear was designed by the Emperor to destroy the soul of the Primarchs and return them to the primal Chaos from which they originated. This in turn jives with Russ's wyrd of being the Emperor's "executioner".

== The Emperor's Executioner ==

It should be noted that despite Leman Russ frequently referring to himself as "the Emperor’s Executioner", lore increasingly indicates that the Emperor didn’t see Russ that way. The “Emperor’s Executioner” was a self-proclaimed title by Leman Russ and was mostly only used by him and those close to the Space Wolves. The only time it is ever used outside of that context is by Malcador in ''Scars'', and Malcador was known to have an extreme soft spot for Russ (see: ''Vengeful Spirit''). Evidence actually suggests that it was [[Lion El'Jonson|the ''Lion'']] who actually filled the role of Emperor’s Executioner. ''Lord of the First'' extensively talks about how when the Emperor actually wanted to see someone dead he would send the [[Dark Angels]], and Lion repeats the idea in ''Angels of Caliban''. The Emperor also gave the Dark Angels all sorts of Dark Age of Technology goodies to make sure that an execution order stuck, whereas he didn't really give anything to the Wolves beyond a possible Warp resistance and turning a blind eye to their use of psykers after the Council of Nikaea. Russ and Lion both claim to be the Emperor's Executioners but in contrast to Russ the Lion seems to be able to back it up.

A lot is made of the supposed "fact" that Leman Russ was the one to kill the two lost primarchs as evidence that Russ was the Emperor's Executioner, but this idea is never actually confirmed in the lore. For one, [[Aaron Dembski-Bowden|at least some]] Black Library authors have said that Russ was never involved in the disappearance of the two missing primarchs, the idea that he was is an in-universe rumor, and that Russ' title as "the Emperor's Executioner" was meant to be self-proclaimed. Russ was sent to bring Angron to heel, but by that logic [[Guilliman]] could just as easily be called the Emperor’s Executioner since he and his legion were commanded by the Emperor to humble Lorgar and the Word Bearers at Monarchia. The Emperor seems to have a habit of sending the primarch he thinks another primarch should be like when disciplining his sons. Angron also calls Leman's title as "Emperor's Executioner" out to be self-indulgent bullshit during the same event. The idea that Russ wasn't involved in disposing of the two mising primarchs is supported by ''Wolf King'' in which Russ isn’t sure if a primarch can be killed or even severely wounded, which one would think he would know if he was the one to actually kill them. Furthermore, in ''Chamber at the End of Memory'' Malcador reveals the primarchs had all but the most general knowledge of the two missing primarchs wiped from their memories and their legions folded into the [[Imperial Fists]] and [[Ultramarines]]. Even if Leman Russ did kill the Two Missing Primarchs, he probably wouldn’t remember enough that he could brag about it anyway.

Finally, take a look at Russ' actual track record when trying to execute another primarch. During the Great Crusade and Heresy he fought Angron, Horus, Alpharius, and Magnus. Angron he only intended to humble, not kill. Alpharius he failed to kill. Horus he completely chickened out at the last moment due to emotional attachment and failed to finish the job (not something you want in an executioner), and with Magnus he was explicitly told to bring him in ''alive'' and when they did fight Russ failed to actually kill him. Not the best track record.

What exactly the Wolves were intended to be by the Emperor is never made clear, but there's some evidence to suggest that the Emperor's job for the Wolves, if anything, was intimidation. The Wolves were known and feared for their savage demeanor, but their reputation was mostly for show and their bite didn't live up to their bark. Additionally, their extreme loyalty meant that the Emperor could use Russ and the Wolves to intimidate someone into compliance while not worrying about them flying off the leash and butchering the entire planet like, say, Kurze or Angron. By contrast, the Dark Angels were who he sent when he actually wanted someone dead, and they felt their competence was self-evident enough that they didn't need to broadcast it.

Of course, this whole argument does fall apart with one major rebuttal...why the fuck didn't Emps send the Dark Angels to nab Magny-Magic then?

== Russ and his Brothers ==

In many ways Russ can be best understood by looking at the clashes between him and his brothers, butting heads with [[Angron]], [[Magnus]], and [[Lion El'Jonson]] over the years. All three of them had much in common with Russ, and there was potential for great brotherhood there, but in large part his lack of tact or understanding crushed whatever relationship might have been.

His fight with Angron was an attempt to teach his brother a lesson. Both of them were consummate warriors, both relied on their amazing athleticism and berzerker rages to triumph in battle, both were known for losing their temper when challenged, but Russ saw weakness in his brother's lack of strategy. Leman tried to just talk to the World Eater's primarch, but Angron was so uncontrollably, incredibly, "calm down son", angry that he just attacked Russ. While Russ and Angron were dueling, their retinues kicked off an open war, and in the battle that followed Russ found himself defeated by Angron, but Angron was in turn outmaneuvered and surrounded by the Space Wolves, thus proving Russ's lesson that warrior prowess isn't enough. That said, no one learned '''anything'''. Angron thought himself the victor because he'd won the duel and his sons had inflicted greater casualties than the Wolves, but Russ thought himself the victor because he'd proven his point and "educated" his brother. On the flip side, arguments that Russ should have been more tactful ignore that he was trying to deal with a Space Marine Legion of questionable loyalty that could and had caused massive amounts of collateral damage. There's a time for caution; it's not when rampaging supersoldiers are threatening the Imperium and its people. Which is indeed a good point, but then he should have gone all the way and gotten Big.E's approval to deal with this shit once and for all if it came down to that instead of trying to do things on his own on the sly. No matter how you look at it, Russ' idea to "educate" his brother was one of good intent (no really, it's a genuine bro' move that the Primarchs rarely extended to another) but of poor execution. If Russ had paid more attention and thought things through rather than sticking to do things his way, he'd have used subtler methods of persuasion to calm Angron, as Fulgrim and especially Lorgar had done in the past. Russ would have had an easier time of persuading Angron than either of them, given that he and Angron had a similar sense of brutal honor and a great lust for war. But, ultimately, it didn't occur to Russ to slow down and think his idea though, so he failed that day..... Well, that last statement is a bit in the grey zone. It was rightfully pointed out above that Russ was not exactly cool-headed either. And it was only when Angron said that without the Nails he might have been a more honourable man (like Russ claimed to be); but that if this were so he might have decided at some point to storm the Emperor's palace and "chop the slavering bastards head off". That was the final straw for Russ who couldn't take more of that shit, hissed "Heretic" as he lost his temper and things went downhill from there until both legions clashed. It is also noteworthy (and of course grimdark/tragic) that Angron made some pretty valid and surprisingly logical arguments including showing genuine regret for having been pressed into a role he had never wanted ("I died on Nuceria") , especially considering what a berzerk killer he was even then already. Several years/brain hemorrhages later only the berzerk killer with the attention span of a two year old was left but that's a story for another day (as in: when he was [[troll]]ing Ultramar with Lorgar, which ultimately culminated in his ascension to daemon(prince)hood).

Russ really, ''really'' didn't get along with Magnus, even before the burning of Prospero. He hated that his brother used sorcery and warpcraft so extensively. The Rune Priests of the Space Wolves use their psychic abilities in a much more limited and controlled way than the Thousand Sons, and the Rout never used Chaos familiars (which the Thousand Sons - to be fair - were totally unaware of using. They thought them to be benevolent spirits or "tutelaries"... until the Burning of Prospero of course when these spirits showed their true colours and turned on Magnus' sons). The Wolves also use the spirits of Fenris, hence all the totems and runes. Nearly all fluff indicates that this is utter horseshit, until the Spirit of Fenris was revealed to be real. Russ' convictions led him to feud with Magnus, but so did his concerns over the threat the XVth Legion posed to the Imperium and his frustration with Magnus' tendency to abandon his allies in favor of investigating some psychic artifact or slow down a conquest to avoid damaging some books. Russ never stopped to consider that Magnus' understanding of the Warp might have been better than his, or that the things Magnus preserved might have value for the humans Russ wanted to make the Galaxy safe for. Ridiculous theories that Russ was a psyker aside, another significant source of the feud between Magnus and Russ was The Crimson King's sheer arrogance. Leman Russ was rightly proud of his cunning battle tactics and personal ferocity, and was fully aware that he grew up on a savage death world where everything is constantly trying to kill you, while Magnus had it comparatively easy on Prospero. The Wolf King and his Legion, from the Wheel of Fire to the Rangdan Xenocides, had proved its mettle, cunning, and devotion to the Emperor many times over, yet Magnus treated him like a dumb hick and acted as though his psychic powers made him the greatest primarch. It couldn't have helped matters that some of the threats the VIth had bested were psychic in nature. Yet Magnus knew none of this; only the Emperor and the Space Wolves understood the extent of the threats they had faced down. Russ never considered that Magnus had no knowledge of the terrible secrets that only he had been entrusted with; he expected Magnus to take the word of an "ignorant savage" that the abilities he defined himself by couldn't be trusted. Whether Magnus would have listened if he did explain all that on the other hand, is another story - recall that he didn't listen the first time the Emperor told him to stop.

Perhaps most famous and most tragic of Russ's feuds was his strife with [[Lion El'Jonson]]. Both men had very similar origins, but slight differences in their upbringings drove a wedge between them. The Wolf and the Lion were both raised by the wild: both of their pods had crashed in areas with no humans, and they had to learn to survive with no lessons from other men. Both were eventually taken in when they were discovered by the men of their world, but that's where their stories differ. Where Russ was raised in the friendly, bawdy brotherhood of Thengir's men, the Lion was trained and educated in the somber fraternity of the knightly Order. While Russ had been brawling and singing with his friends, leading great hunts to destroy monsters and enemy tribes, the Lion was mastering discipline and embarking on solemn quests to destroy the Great Beasts of the forest. The battle between the two came on the world of Dulan, where the VIth and Ist legion were fighting together to slay a tyrant who'd insulted Russ's honor. At the beginning of the conflict the two brothers had promised to work together, but as time went on the Lion grew tired of his brother's insistence on utterly smashing every pocket of resistance rather than taking a more efficient, direct method of ending the war. Eventually he just launched an assault on the tyrant's palace, and beheaded the man before Russ could reach them. In the heat of the moment, Russ was ''furious'' to hear that and immediately confronted his brother. Russ was an angry dickhead, the Lion was a snarky bastard, and before long blades were drawn and the two were trying to kill each other in a violent battle. After a long and bloody fight in which the two of them beat one another senseless and finally fell over the ramparts of the fortress to the ground below, Russ started laughing, the ridiculousness of what they were doing finally apparent. Here they were, two Primarchs of the Legiones Astartes, brawling like children instead of leading their men. The Lion, however, didn't laugh. Like, at all. He coldly asked if his brother would yield, a question that just confused Russ. ''His brother thought this was a real duel?'' Russ had thought of the fight as a brawl between angry brothers like would happen on Fenris: a quick spat that would end with both of them beaten and bloodied, a spur-of-the-moment thing to vent their anger they'd laugh about over a tankard of Mjod years later. The Lion however was taking it deadly seriously and while Russ was laughing he struck a final blow, shattering Russ's skull and ending the fight. Had Russ stopped to consider his brother's mentality, or listened more closely to the Lion's words, he would have realized that the Lion saw the conflict as something profoundly different from what Russ thought it was, taking the matter of honour as something deadly serious. Again, Russ's lack of consideration was his failing.

However, while certainly abrasive, arrogant, and brutal, Russ was also every bit as loyal as Sanguinius or Dorn. The other thing Magnus, Angron, and the Lion had in common? All three of them behaved like assholes in their way. The Lion had zero people skills, arrogantly considered himself the best of all Primarchs, acted like he was some prince-in-waiting and lorded it over his brothers, him turning a small brawl into a duel of honour case in point. Magnus was much more enjoyable to be around but he arrogantly assumed he knew best because of his powers and blatantly favored psykers in his Legion. Angron's case is... [[Rage|self-explanatory]]. Bottom line, his brothers all put their own feelings/goals before those of the Emperor. Not to say that Russ was tactful, diplomatic, or understanding with these three - he certainly could have handled all of these conflicts better - but Russ was never a dick just for the sake of being a dick - he was a dick because someone had to keep his brothers in line.

His relationships with his brothers also highlight another one of his traits. Fans LOVE to call him a hypocrite, and this isn't far off the mark. However, it's not quite on target either. To elaborate, Russ did indeed criticize (and at times even physically attacked) his brothers for traits he or his Legion also had. On closer inspection, though, the way Russ dealt with his flaws was different from his brothers - and that's the best justification for his behavior:

*Russ and Angron both led Legions that were extremely violent, especially towards the defenseless. But Russ made a point from the very beginning to rein himself in and taught his Legion to temper their bloodlust and fight to make the galaxy safe for humans by example. Angron didn't care about either his Legion or the people of the Imperium, the only leadership and example he gave the World Eaters was to slaughter anything that dared stand in his way. Even worse, Angron jammed the Butcher's Nails in the brains of his War Hounds, taking their discipline and brotherhood away from them and leaving them to degenerate into blood-crazed psychopathic supersoldiers living only to kill without rhyme or reason. Russ gave massacres of friendly units as his main reason for intervening.

*As for Jonson, both Primarchs had an element of glory-seeking in their nature. Both were also very stubborn and combative, with an animalistic side. However, Russ wasn't ruled by his pride but his drive to serve the Emperor came from a different place: the Lion lectured Russ about wasting time destroying the Emperor's enemies, when winning wars is all that matters. ''(ironically a similar lesson that Russ tried to teach Angron)'', while Russ couldn't countenance leaving any enemies alive. During a dispute between the Space Wolves and the Dark Angels over a friendly fire incident, Russ personally apologized to the Lion in spite of the Dark Angels being the ones who knowingly fired on the Rout. Russ put aside his lust for glory and victory to save the lives of his men, then privately made it clear [[Rip and Tear|what would happen should the Dark Angels do something similar again.]] By contrast, the Lion's honour was everything to him, that the Dark Angels fired on the Rout because they had been fired on first ''(even after warnings were given)'' and that the Lion seemed fully prepared to kill his brother in the brawl over kill stealing, because Russ laid hands on him first. This distinction justifies Russ' initial hatred of Jonson though the two did come to an understanding later; that the reason for the Lion breaking his promise on Dulan was because Russ was putting off the final blow and allowing the battle to drag out, costing lives, which was pretty much the lesson Jonson was trying to point out earlier. All because Russ had wandered off the battle-plan to sort out the Wulfen issue within the 13th Company, something that Russ later realised that the Lion <u>already knew</u> and had quietly disposed of the evidence for his brother, even though he could have used the knowledge to break the Space Wolves Legion.

*With Magnus, the accusations of hypocrisy carry little weight. Russ' attempts to cover up the Curse of the Wulfen are somewhat similar to Magnus' treatment of the flesh change (the Wulfen curse was not exacerbated by rampant sorcerous power use like the flesh change was), and both Legions did use psykers. The real difference here is how they dealt with the situation. However, the Rune Priests were much more cautious than the sorcerers of the Thousand Sons in their dealings with the Empyrean and only ''"taking a sip of the cup when needed instead of drinking deep each time"'' as the Khan would put it. More importantly, the Space Wolves treat the degeneration of their gene-seed and the transformation into Wulfen as a curse, a failing to be contained and if possible eradicated. The Thousand Sons treat their psyker powers as a badge of superiority, taking any excuse to use them and revelling in what made them unique without considering its links with the flesh change. Russ did his best to control his secrets, he didn't glorify them or thought it made him and his Wolves better than the other Legions. Magnus was controlled by his secrets and saw them as strengths. It's also worth noting that as per ''Prospero Burns'' Tzeentchian dickery had led Russ and others to believe Magnus' equerry had planted a spy among the Wolves, with Amon apparently attacking Bjorn and a Custodian at Nikaea. It is a tragic turn of events in its own right that this "Amon" was in truth a daemon masquerading as the Amon (who had - matter of factly - faithfully stayed at Magnus' side which was generously entirely disregarded by both the Wolves and the Custodians for plot reasons), playing a pivotal role in tipping the balance towards the dissolution of the Librarius (which - ironically - would have been one of the greatest assets the Imperium/the Emperor would have been able to field against Chaos during the Heresy.. [[Just as planned]]!!!!).

TL;DR: Russ shared many flaws with his brothers, but he was defined by being in control rather than being thrall to his flaws. His bloodlust never overtook his discipline like it would Angron. His glory-seeking never overrode his sense of responsibility like it would Lion El'Jonson. He made sure his sons worked against their curse rather than have them embrace it like Magnus did. It comes to no surprise that someone who worked so hard for control resented people who thought they didn't need it, hence the accusations of hypocrisy, however ([[Lion El'Jonson|in]] [[Ferrus Manus|fairness]] [[Rogal Dorn|like]] [[Roboute Guilliman|many]] [[Angron|of]] [[Perturabo|his]] [[Mortarion|brothers]] [[Night Haunter|Primarchs]]), interpersonal skills weren't exactly his forte. Russ' real failing was not that he accused others for things he had to deal with himself, but rather that he was in an unique position where he could have been an example to his brothers ''because he shared and knew how to deal with said flaws'' but his brashness and agressivity drove them apart instead.

On a somewhat amusing tangent. Russ considered [[Roboute Guilliman]] a good choice for Warmaster, and in return Guilliman considered Russ and his legion part of his "Dauntless Few", meaning that Bobby G sincerely believed that alongside Russ and his Wolves, the Ultramarines could defeat any opponent. Rather amusingly, when he was struck down by Fulgrim, Guilliman's last thoughts were, in order, of his sons, of the Imperium, and then for his brothers, the first being Russ. While they weren't exactly [[Fulgrim|best]] of [[Ferrus Manus|buds]], Russ actually believed Guilliman and [[Perturabo]] were the most boring among his brothers after [[Rogal Dorn]], they had a sincere respect for each other as warriors. The only thing they [[skub|had a bit of a pickle with]] was Rob's [[Codex Astartes]] thing; and Russ eventually [[Council of Nikaea|ostensibly acquiesced]] only to [[Thousand Sons|ignore it]] when G-man stopped breathing down his neck, kinda. The Space Wolves did try to form a successor Chapter, the [[Wolf Brothers]], but those very quickly devolved into Wulfen for whatever reason (it is suspected the planet Fenris has something to do with it).

== Post-Heresy ==
Although unable to return to aid the Imperium in the Battle for Terra, Russ and the Space Wolves threw themselves headfirst into the post-Heresy war efforts. Aside from spanking the traitors into the Eye of Terror, he came up with the concept for the Adeptus Praeses. Though he'd told Guilliman where he could shove his Codex, Russ liked the idea of successor chapters for the Wolves. To him (or the little reformist movement within the Legion later, the fluff isn't totally clear), they were a way of maintaining the Wolves' influence alongside that of Girlyman, Dorn and the rest. Unfortunately the Wolves' gene-seed proved too unstable to set up any viable successor chapters, and as a result while the Ultramarines, Imperial Fists and Dark Angels have shitloads of descendants to call on in a crisis, the Wolves are the sole embodiment of Russ' strength and drive. This hasn't helped their situation with Imperial institutions such as the Inquisition.

One-hundred years to the day after the Emperor's internment on the Golden Throne, during a feast in the halls of the Space Wolves fortress, Russ climbed upon a table to give a speech. He was stricken with a vision, and after standing there speechless for a few minutes, he fell to one knee, issued hushed orders to his retinue, and left. He left his sons with their first Wolf Lord; [[Bjorn the Fell Handed]], and a message.

"In the end, I will be there. For the final battle. For <s>the wolf</s> dinner time."

And then the winds of change blew over the fluff once again. In the audio play Parting of Ways we get a slightly different version of events. There was still an annual feast, though it wasn't just to celebrate the day the Emperor got the snot beaten out of him by Horus, but also to commemorate the Wolves that had died during the spring cleaning that followed the Heresy, plus the completion of the Aett - the giant [[fortress-monastery|fortress]] of the Space Wolves. Also instead of a hundred years, it was two hundred years since the siege of Terra, so unless Dorn was a really slow learner and not very bright and it took him over a hundred years to assemble the Golden Throne, that is a clear lore change. Then again, given how Perturabo thoroughly kicked Dorn's ass in the iron Cage, forcing Bobby.G and the Ultrasmurfs to come and save Dorn's sorry ass, it's a possibility that Dorn just wasn't very bright. It's also a possibility that the Emperor got the Golden Throne from an old IKEA warehouse, which would explain why even a Primarch would have had trouble in figuring out how to put it together in less than a hundred years.

Also Russ wasn't about to hold a speech, instead he had at first partaken in the festivities but as the party grew sullen, Russ retreated, sensing, as Bjorn put it, "a fell wind from beyond the mountains, bleeding through the cracks of the Fang". After clenching the table for a while, Russ clambered to his feet on the table, screaming ''“No More!”'' The shout silenced the Space Wolves in their brawling and made the flags of the smoke filled halls tremble, so Russ apparently also had a gift for speech, plus he had a gift for getting instantly sober as Bjorn described his face going from being ruddy flushed with Mjod to looking like an ice spectre. Russ then held the following [[awesome|kickass]] speech:

''“We come here to celebrate the All-father, we come here to remember his sacrifice and his ascension from the world of the senses and his victory over my brother the traitor.”
''“We remember the dead, who even now gather in the oververse, their blade sharp, their aim keen.”''
''“They are better than we are for they perished in the war to end all wars and their souls have been purified! And what of us those left behind, wallowing in the drinks the fallen gods have left us?”''
''“We have grown fat, we have the beast within us, but is has never yet been mastered.”''

Then Russ paused to grab his drinking horn and held it aloft and continued:
''“So let us celebrate my father's ascension, let us remember what he was able to accomplish, let us remember what he built and what he foresaw and then what he lost and how he failed.”''
''“Do not mourn the fact that he no longer walks among us, for the galaxy was too small to accommodate such a soul, he was of an age of '''gods!''' And we are slumped in an age of mortals.”''
''“The lights of the stars will fade, this place will grow old and the ice will crack it.”''
''“We will forget no matter how much the skalds tell the old tales, what battles are left for us like the ones before?”''
''“My fallen brothers are gone, Malcador is gone, the leeches cluster around the Golden Throne and whisper of deeds done before they were born as if it were '''they''' who achieved them.”''

At this point Russ looked unsteady on his feet and his eyes went glassy:
''“A doubt of all of this, one thing remains true we were not on Terra, we were not there when the palace fell and that shame will pursue us for eternity.”''

Then Russ dropped his drinking horn on the board and then started to speak not to his warriors, but to himself or to some presence that was unseen.
''“It remains unfinished… I have waited for too long, building this mountain, squabbling with Guilliman. I will not grow old, feeble, limping around a crumbling inheritance. I have an Oath to keep, there are beasts left to slay.”''

At this point Russ was fully immersed in his premonitions and he looked around the room, a smile dancing on his fanged face, seeing things from either long ago or yet to come.
''“Listen closely my brothers, there shall come a time far from now, when the chapter itself is dying and our foes shall gather to destroy us.”''
''“Then, my sons, I shall listen for your call, in whatever realm holds me and come I shall, no matter what the laws of life and death forbid.”''
''“At the end, I will be there. For the final battle. FOR THE WOLF TIME!”''

Then Russ gave the mustering signal and he and his retinue left, though as Bjorn made to follow only to have Russ turn towards him saying a single sentence: ''“Not you.”'' When Bjorn asked for an explanation all Russ did was repeat the words: ''“Not you.”'' [[Eldrad|Then he left.]]

It is theorized that Russ like Magnus had the gift of premonition and knew that Bjorn would be needed in the years to come as the first Great Wolf, as it is heavily implied that if Bjorn hadn't been persuaded to take the mantle of great wolf, the Chapter itself would have fallen apart in the absence of Russ.

More likely Russ just didn't want Bjorn's moodiness to poison what ever adventure he was on. His helmet eventually came to be in the possession of [[Ulrik the Slayer]].

As to where Russ went and what happened to him there's a few theories given:
*Russ sought the Lion out to make amends of their old feuding (if so they both forgot to tell both their chapters about it).
*That he fought in eternal combat with the resurrected cadaver of Horus (no that would be Abaddon's task and he completely owned that clone of Horus).
*That he searched for the tree of life to heal the Emperor's soul.
*That he is trapped within a hollow star and tormented by his old adversary Magnus (Since Tzeentch was able to trap Sigmar in another dimension, trapping Russ in a hollow star and have his star pupil Magnus use him as a punching bag makes as much sense as anything).
*That he is actually searching for Magnus, to finish the last task given to him by the Emperor and "arrest" his wayward brother.
*That he passed beyond the bounds of space and time and now roams among the gods, ready to return when needed accompanied by the fallen of his legion sundered in a paradise of warriors (so basically he's in the Age of Sigmar at this point? somebody put him out of his misery, that's not a paradise that's hell on earth).
*That he's simply lost in the galactic fjord known as the Warp and has been playing drunken pranks on daemonic villagers for 10,000 years.

/tg/ theorizes that Leman Russ may return as [[Horo]] (Implying Horo isn't just one of Leman's many, many bastard children growing up on some shithole Feudal world).

Magnus actually know where Russ is now, but he don't tell it even to his trusted sorcerer lords.

The 13th company, and a figure bearing the likeness of Russ, was spotted during the 13th crusade and the siege of the capital of Cadia.

==On The Tabletop==
{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || I || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Leman Russ:''' || 455 || 9 || 6 || 6 || 6 || 6 || 7 || 6 || 10 || 2+/4++
|}
[[File:LemanRussMini.jpg|250px|right|thumb|I'M COMING FOR YOU! [[Magnus the Red|''NEEEEEEERRRRRD!!!'']]]]
An impressive stat-line, even by the insane standards of Primarchs, is coupled with unbelievably powerful wargear:
*The '''Armour Elavagar''' starts as your bog-standard 2+/4++ which is increased to a 3++ against flamer (in case you meet an AP2 flamer or something), melta, and plasma weapons, but the truly <strike>awesome</strike> severely-overpowered-bullshit part is that it imposes -1 to hit on anyone in BtB with him. Do note however that it ''only'' works in BtB contact, so the models not directly in contact with Russ would still hit him as usual (likely on 5+ due to his insane WS). Basically, he's insanely tanky in a fight.
*The '''Axe of Helwinter''' is a ''+2 S master-crafted power axe with sunder and without unwieldy'' for your vehicle-wrecking needs and putting some more guaranteed wounds on high toughness opponents. Also useful for inflicting Instant Death on anything T4 or lower.
*The '''Sword of Balenight''' is a Shredding AP2 power sword; oh wait, it also has '''Sever Life'''. If Russ' prey suffers one or more wounds from the sword, roll a 2d6. If this result beats your target's toughness, add 1d3 additional wounds at ap2, so you can still use your inv save against these additional wounds.
**Thanks to vague wording, when you must make the test for Sever Life is a subject of debate. Some say "suffering one or more wounds" means that the rule applies immediately before saves are made. HOWEVER, the rule clearly states that Sever Life is used only if the model "is not slain" by the initial attacks, and you HAVE to make your save rolls in order to know if they are slain or not, so one can lawfully argue that ''unsaved'' wounds are the real trigger. Keep calm and make it clear with your opponent until a FAQ is released. Besides, the times Russ isn't going to be able to get at least one wound in with this sword are going to be pretty rare.
**As mentioned in the description, the extra attack that would normally be added when using two close combat weapons is already included in his profile of 6.
*For ranged fights he has the [[Vulkan]]-remade bolter (mentioned to be regular one until Xzibit got his hands on it) turned into a pistol for Primarch's hand, called '''Scornspitter''' which is assault 3 AP3 rending, but with pitiful 12" range. Of course if you aren't within 12", then you can't charge, and if you can't charge you're running therefore even if it did have a greater than 12" range it wouldn't be used anyway.

His Wolf-Kin are deployed separately and he can't join them, but they're great harassing units and surprisingly brutal fighters.

Meanwhile, his Sire of the Space Wolves gives him Night Vision, Counter-Attack, Preternatural Senses, and Hunter's Gait: all Wolves get +1Ld and Russ gets to Howl once per game (letting everyone in his detachment reroll run and charge for said turn). Breaker of Shields, Bringer of Ruin gives weapon mastery (like Horus and Calgar). If he's Warlord, you can take Veteran Tacticals (who may run/shoot bolters then charge instead of regular Vet tactics) and Varagyr Terminators as troops.

If Horus plays like everything a Space Marine Chapter Master ought to be, Russ is best compared to an Ork Warboss. He isn't exactly "tactical" in the traditional sense of reserve dickery, but Howl of the Death Wolf combined with Warrior's Mettle Veterans can make your army a strong hunter-killer force, able to get in your enemy's face and fuck up his battle plans. This is an unpredictable force, able to catch most armies by surprise and keep them off balance. Freki and Geri are practically auto-takes, and Russ himself can and will fuck up everything from Leviathans to Thanatars to Land Raiders. Due to high strength, high initiative, and high weapon skill, even Imperial Knights aren't out of the question. Worth it.

==Leman Russ VS other Primarchs:==
<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">
Inferno is finally released and you came here to see how your favorite/most hated superhuman demi-god fares against the other Primarchs, because you love delicious Mathhammer trolling and cautious planning before battle.
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">
'''<big>[[RIP AND TEAR|THEY ALL DIE. EVERY. LAST. ONE. OF. THEM.]]</big>'''

Sever Life on The Sword of Balenight is the real kicker here. Allowing him to potentially pile on more wounds than what would normally be possible for the amount of attacks he has. And since most primarchs only have a 4++, they tend to die in short order (with even the tougher ones eventually going down from sheer wound output). So if you want to add the damage for Sever Life, here's the results:

*Against T6 Sever Life will cause an additional 1.091 Wounds on average.
*Against T7 Sever Life will cause an additional 0.909 Wounds on average.
::Note that these are Wounds that can still be saved via Invulnerable saves.

This is made even crazier with his ability to split his attacks between his axe of awesome and his sword of cheese (Yes just like Horus). Since all it takes is one wound going through to trigger Sever Life thus he can lay on the hurt with his high strength axe while still getting some good jabs in with his sword. When combined with the additional wounds from sever life (assuming it goes off, which against most Primarchs it should since they are mostly in the T6 range) this guy can lay on more wounds on a single target than just about any other Primarch (except a fully buffed Angron, though to be fair that is really all Angron has got going in a fight).

Possibly worse than Sever Life (which probably is intended to trigger after saves, hence the "Is not slain" part) is his armor, which cripples almost every Primarch's ability to damage him with the negatives to hit. Since thanks to his insane weapon skill almost all will be needing 6's or 5's at best to even hit him, and after taking wound rolls and saves into account he is basically taking almost no damage. Which really hurts alot of his opponents since most of their special rules in CC rely on doing damage (e.g. Horus disabling strike and Perturabo's fancy hammer with basically every CC special rule). Even the uber-tanks are left flailing at him, barely doing any damage, while he grinds them out.

The only ones who can even stand a snowball's chance are heavy-hitters in the range of Horus, Fulgrim, Angron with maximum attacks, Sanguinius with the Spear of Telesto and the Angel's Wrath Rite of War, Ferrus Manus, Perturabo and a fully buffed Magnus. In addition a Transfigured Lorgar might be able to tar pit him for awhile (though don't expect him to actually win). But I do mean snowball, even these guys barring some amazing rolls will probably lose virtually every fight (including Horus).

It’s this authors opinion that Sanguinius with the Spear of Telesto and Angels Wrath Rite of War, will be able to defeat the wolf with moderate difficulty. With the st10 HoW, S6 vector strikes and his 1 use, 2 shot melta gun (which is not actually melta, so he Russ doesn’t get his 3++) that get passed the wolf kings armour ability plus the master crafted spear generating extra wounds, Sanguinius has a more then decent shot of taking out Russ. The longer the duel takes the better the chances for sanguinius with all his charge bonus’s and hit and run.

Vulkan holds out pretty well but only if Russ is just using the sword... against the axe... well lets hope the dice are on your side!

Do note too that if Russ brings his wolves along (as he should) then they can challenge and take challenges in his place, as they are both characters. Thanks to how the rules work, this means that Russ essentially has 8 wounds, and in the case of Primarchs who can't ID the wolves 14 wounds. In effect he can use this to prevent Horus from using his talon to drop his stats or Perturabo smacking him too many times with his hammer while making the combat last even longer, since for example if Horus uses Worldbreaker to kill the first wolf Russ can just tank the wounds before his other wolf challenges in round 2, all the while Russ is beating the shit out of Horus completely unharmed. Statistically if Leman Russ brings his wolves along it is near impossible for any single other Primarch to kill Russ before he grinds them down if in a challenge.

HOWEVER if you or your opponent plays him in a list he can potentially be tar pitted with terminators with thunder hammers and storm shields. Russ is [[Lion El%27Jonson#The Dulan Campaign|not immune to concussion]] and the invuln save is superior than Russ. This will bring him down to an equal playing field since while they will not be doing much damage to him (since needing 6s to hit), he will probably not be able to rip throw them before the game ends (he is more a challenge monster than infantry wrecker, again that is Angrons job). Though don't rely on this as like all primarchs he is perfectly capable of wiping them out.
Such is the fickleness of the dice. And again this is not even taking into account his two wolves. With either of them tanking a shot or two and preventing Concussion from setting in Leman Russ again has a very good chance of ripping through them. So don't expect this to be a consistent solution to dealing with him.

Bottom line, Horus is lucky that Russ didn't get there first during the Siege or take his chance at Yarant.

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==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:russ_original.jpg|First portrayal of Leman Russ in canon (Rogue Trader)
File:russ_furry_original.jpg|First retcon of Leman Russ, now approximately 215% furrier, in 1st. Ed compilation
File:Leman russ by alexboca-d7930sk.jpg
File:Russ_Behind.jpg| RUN <s> FORREST </s> LEMAN, RUN!
File:Russ_Front.jpg| He's running so [[White Scars|fast]] because he saw someone throw a stick.
File:Russ_Side.jpg
File:Horus vs Leman.jpg|
File:Horus-Primarchs-Warhammer-Russ.jpeg|
</gallery>

{{Primarchs}}

[[Category:Space Wolves]]

==See Also==
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Q8uymv0vw&index=2&list=PLdPq6mYy-DRdA9aTRJghfDsQiyR5WLs7y/ Admit it, this is the only song that truly befits the glory of the Sons of Russ.]
* [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mzkqA4-4jIM/ Not so fast.]