2d4chan - User contributions [en]

Cyborks

2021-07-12T05:48:20Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

[[File:EC-cybork.jpg|260px|right|thumb|Like a Servitor but more [[Rage|angry.]]]]

Cyborks're quite simply [[Ork]] cyborgs, like [[Imperial]] [[Servitor]]s but with their mental faculties (such as they are) fully intact. Some're willing volunteers who wanted some snazz, others were just in the wrong place at the wrong time (for them at least, the Painboy was very grateful). The exact nature of the Bioniks in question varies from individual to individual, as the Meks rarely follow standardised designs, and what the cybork in question gets is more a question of whatever the Dok was feeling like installing at the time they popped in for 'serjery'.

== Overview ==
[[Rogue Trader]] 2nd edition was, of course, the golden age of Orky research into this branch of the tech tree, with sizable lists of individual custom bionic bitz in the form of Hands, Arms, Legs, Kraniums and assorted miscellaneous bits and bobs collectively referred to as "Dok's Surprises". All of which debuted in "Ere We Go!", one of the three ork splatbooks for the era. This was also when [[Boarboyz|Cyboar mounts]] showed up as well. This period of rampant innovation was probably spurred on by the in-depth, borderline RPG-like ruleset at the time, and thus giving [[Painboy]]z the cance to splurge on their pet projects to their hearts' content.

But it couldn't last, as with everything good, and nowadays the only Cyborks you'll see on the battlefield in 9th Edition're the odd one or two Kustom Jobs in a [[Nob]]z Mob, plus the Supa Cybork Body Shiny Gubbin. As early as 3rd edition, the various bionikz were all boiled down into simplified rules for easier mob usage, and they only got simpler from there.

== Famous Cyborks ==
A lot of the Ork special characters are outfitted with Bioniks. Probably because you aren't going to live very long as an Ork without getting grieviously injured.

*[[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]]: Bionik eye and adamantium plate in skull.
*[[Mad Dok Grotsnik]]: Bionik eye and robotic arms.
*[[Boss Zagstruk]]: Bionik legs, known as "Da Vulcha's Klaws".
*[[Zodgrod Wortsnagga]]: Bionik right leg.
*[[Mozgrod Skragbad]]: Entire right half of his upper body replaced by cybernetics.
*Da Krusha: Special character from [[Gorkamorka]] whose entire body has been replaced by cybernetics.
== Tabletop ==

In 2nd edition is where all of the crazy different bionik bitz were first introduced, and as such these implants get their own section below. You pretty much had to randomly generate what kind of bionik you got from the five categories (hand, arm, leg, head, surprise) and then generate the precise bioniks.

In 3rd Edition, Cybork Bodies gave a 5++ Invulnerable Save, Bionik Bonces gave +1 to your Armour Save, and Bionik Arms counted as an additional CCW which could unleash a single bonus attack with S4 and I6.

Full Cyborks could be taken as a bodyguard for a Painboss, in a mob of four to nine. They only had [[Shootas'an_Dakkas#Slugga|Sluggas]] and [[Choppa#Choppa|Choppas]], with no weapons upgrades available at all, but they didn't need them, they'd been upgraded enough. For as many points as an [['Ardboyz|'Ardboy]], a Cybork came with S4, T5, and a 5++ Invulnerable Save. They were the toughest infantry unit in the Codex, though limited in numbers.

Cyboars meanwhile had a 4+ Armour Save and an additional CCW from all the reinforcing plates and spikes, but they tended to be even less intelligent than their unaugmented brethren, and could sometime crash into an inconvenient tree or rock and kill themselves during a charge. Super Cyboars got a 3+ Armour Save instead, and got the '''Fleet of Foot''' Special Rule for one turn when the Warboss in the saddle pressed '''Da Big Red Knob'''.

in 9th Edition, basic Cybork Bodies give a 6+++ '''Feel No Pain''', the advanced Supa Cybork Body gives a 5+++ '''Feel No Pain''', Bionik Arms've been revamped as [[Power_weapon#Power_Stabba|Power Stabbas]], and the gunner for the [[Kustom Boosta-Blasta]] sports a Targeter Eye.

=== Kustom Hands & Arms ===

Bionik Hands are the simplest of all the bioniks from Rogue Trader, and simply replace a mangled hand with a random ranged or melee weapon. If you're lucky, this could be one of several [[Power Weapons]]... or it could be a clunky blunderbuss.

Bionik Arms is where the interesting stuff happens.

'''Telescopic Arms''' grant +2 Initiative in close combat.

'''Magnetic Arms''' grant +1 WS and +1 Initiative in close combat.

'''Squig Attack Arms''' contain a built-in cage for one of several kinds of attacking squigs, which grant a bonus attack to represent the squig being allowed to pop out of its cage and then bite a victim, or a "stink squig", which can be used to create a cloud of tranquilizer gas around the ork.

'''Spike Arms''' are covered retractable spikes or blades, granting +1 WS and +1 Strength.

'''Grapple Arms''' can, obviously, be used to make a special grappling attack on enemies.

'''Grenade Thrower Arms''' give the bearer increased range with stikkbombs.

'''Extra Bionik Arms''' are, well, just that; rather than just replacing the missing arm, the painboy implants a third arm (or a second pair of arms), letting the lucky ork carry more weapons and punch more gits at once.

Finally, there's always the '''Bionik Arm with Kustom Weapon''', which is just a bionic arm with a random Kustom Hand attachment thrown in for good measure.

=== Kustom Legs ===

Bionik Legs can come in either singular or double versions.

'''Peg Legs''' are the el cheapo option, and no self-respecting ork wears one if they have another choice. -1 Movement for this.

'''De-luxe Booster Legs''' have rocket thrusters installed, giving them +2 Movement. Weirdly, these can be installed singularly and proceed to work just fine, and effectively you can get +4 Movement for having 2 Booster Legs!

'''De-luxe Kicking Legs''' are specially modified for use in combat, granting a bonus attack per leg.

'''Basic Bionik Legs''' have no special effects beyond letting the ork keep on walking, obviously.

'''Wheels, Tracks and Hover Units''' basically double the ork's Movement rate, with the special terrain restrictions for the appropriate kind of vehicle.

'''Jet-Powered Legs''' are only installed in pairs, and consist of a pair of vertically orientated jet thrusters. In essence, the ork now has a jet-pack... but can't walk in any way other than by trying to make short, control, jet-propelled "hops".

'''Special Jumping Legs''' are spring-based, allowing the ork to make huge leaps. +2 Movement, but must be installed in pairs.

'''Telescopic Legs''' are also installed in pairs, and grant both +2 Movement and increased abilities to see and shoot over tall obstacles.

'''Suction Feet''' are installed in pairs, obviously, and let the ork walk up vertical and along inverted surfaces.

Finally, the '''Gyro-Stabilized Monowheel''' lets the ork race around on a single motorized wheel, which is surprisingly quick.

=== Rebuilt Kraniums ===

Any skull or facially based implant is gathered into this section. Non-[[Weirdboy]] Orks have a 25% chance of gaining a random level 1 psychic power they can use without psi-points whenever they undergo a Rebuilt Kranium implant. Most of these are kind of self-explanatory.

'''Telescopic Bionik Eyes''' make the orks with them better shots over long ranges.

'''Targeter Eyes''', meanwhile, just make them better shots in general.

'''Respirator Mouthpieces''' build a gas-filtering device right into the ork's face.

'''Auto-Senses''' give the ork enhanced visual abilities, making them impervious to smoke and other blinding effects.

'''Stainless Steel Skulls''' are quite desirable, since they make the ork better equipped at headbutting contests.

'''Stainless Steel Mandibles''' look flash, but have no actual in-game effects.

'''Steel Horns''' are popular because they're even better for delivering headbutts than steel skulls are. They supersede the steel skull implant, so no point trying to take them together.

'''Lobotomies''' aren't so much an implant (duh) as a result of the painboy failing to curb their natural desire to play brain surgeon. It turns the victim ork into a Madboy. Too many of these, or the infamous Squig Brain Transplants, and the Dok will get a right kicking from angry orks.

'''Periscopes''' are... well, they're periscopes. They give their bearers the ability to see things from further and to look around without putting themselves in danger. Their bearers are often outfitted with rokkit launchers or similar ordinance, due to their increased ability to check range and aim.

'''Explosive Craniums''', despite what you might think, are actually sometimes requested! The idea is that the dok plants an explosive in the ork's head that detonates when the ork dies, which appeals to the ork's sense of vengefulness.

=== Doc's Surprise! ===

This is the catch-all terminology for any orky bio-mod that doesn't fall into the above.

'''Fuel Injection Implants''' outfit an ork with a refillable tank of fungus-juice fuel and the ability to flood their systems with the stuff via intravenous injection. It's basically an orky stim-pack, wich can be triggered to gain +2 Movement and Initiative for the rest of the game.

'''Fungus Breff''' implants are basically secondary stomachs laced with symbiotic fungi, allowing the ork to belch gouts of toxic gas in combat.

'''Iron Masks''' are extensive cranium reconstructions; steel teef, built in helmet, and three random facial bioniks all in one.

'''Cybork Bodies''' are the term used for heavy cybernetic reconstruction of the torso, making the ork stronger and tougher (+2 to both scores), but also prone to malfunctioning like any other bit of ork engineering.

'''Head Grafts''' are what happens when a painboy sews a still-living decapitated ork head to the body of an otherwise intact ork. The two heads share control of the body, gaining increased ambidexterity. On a 5+, this implant comes with a second pair of arms for free, allowing the ork to wield four weapons at once thanks to its twin brains and augmented nervous system.

'''Armor Plating''' is simply what it says on the tin; grafting metal bits to the ork's skin and flesh to patch up holes and make them tougher (+1 Toughness, in fact).

'''Steel Teef''' are a cosmetic treatment that no ork wants. For reasons that should be obvious if you read the [[Toof]] article.

Finally, the infamous '''Squig Brain Transplant''' results when the painboy swaps the brain of an ork with the brain of a pet squig, creating a zombie-like orkish slave. Too many of these will get a painboy krumped dead quick! Squig-Brained Orks have M4, WS3, BS2, S6, T6, W2, I2, A2, LD3, Int 3, Cool 8 and Willpower 3.

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Xenos]]

[[Category: Orks]]

[[Category: Dred Mob]]

{{Template:Orks-Forces}}

Cyborks

2021-07-11T18:21:14Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

[[File:EC-cybork.jpg|260px|right|thumb|Like a Servitor but more [[Rage|angry.]]]]

Cyborks're quite simply [[Ork]] cyborgs, like [[Imperial]] [[Servitor]]s but with their mental faculties (such as they are) fully intact. Some're willing volunteers who wanted some snazz, others were just in the wrong place at the wrong time (for them at least, the Painboy was very grateful). The exact nature of the Bioniks in question varies from individual to individual, as the Meks rarely follow standardised designs, and what the cybork in question gets is more a question of whatever the Dok was feeling like installing at the time they popped in for 'serjery'.

== Overview ==
[[Rogue Trader]] 2nd edition was, of course, the golden age of Orky research into this branch of the tech tree, with sizable lists of individual custom bionic bitz in the form of Hands, Arms, Legs, Kraniums and assorted miscellaneous bits and bobs collectively referred to as "Dok's Surprises". All of which debuted in "Ere We Go!", one of the three ork splatbooks for the era. This was also when [[Boarboyz|Cyboar mounts]] showed up as well. This period of rampant innovation was probably spurred on by the in-depth, borderline RPG-like ruleset at the time, and thus giving [[Painboy]]z the cance to splurge on their pet projects to their hearts' content.

But it couldn't last, as with everything good, and nowadays the only Cyborks you'll see on the battlefield in 9th Edition're the odd one or two Kustom Jobs in a [[Nob]]z Mob, plus the Supa Cybork Body Shiny Gubbin. As early as 3rd edition, the various bionikz were all boiled down into simplified rules for easier mob usage, and they only got simpler from there.

== Famous Cyborks ==
A lot of the Ork special characters are outfitted with Bioniks. Probably because you aren't going to live very long as an Ork without getting grieviously injured.

*[[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]]: Bionik eye and adamantium plate in skull.
*[[Mad Dok Grotsnik]]: Bionik eye and robotic arms.
*[[Boss Zagstruk]]: Bionik legs, known as "Da Vulcha's Klaws".
*[[Zodgrod Wortsnagga]]: Bionik right leg.
*[[Mozgrod Skragbad]]: Entire right half of his upper body replaced by cybernetics.

== Tabletop ==

In 2nd edition is where all of the crazy different bionik bitz were first introduced, and as such these implants get their own section below. You pretty much had to randomly generate what kind of bionik you got from the five categories (hand, arm, leg, head, surprise) and then generate the precise bioniks.

In 3rd Edition, Cybork Bodies gave a 5++ Invulnerable Save, Bionik Bonces gave +1 to your Armour Save, and Bionik Arms counted as an additional CCW which could unleash a single bonus attack with S4 and I6.

Full Cyborks could be taken as a bodyguard for a Painboss, in a mob of four to nine. They only had [[Shootas'an_Dakkas#Slugga|Sluggas]] and [[Choppa#Choppa|Choppas]], with no weapons upgrades available at all, but they didn't need them, they'd been upgraded enough. For as many points as an [['Ardboyz|'Ardboy]], a Cybork came with S4, T5, and a 5++ Invulnerable Save. They were the toughest infantry unit in the Codex, though limited in numbers.

Cyboars meanwhile had a 4+ Armour Save and an additional CCW from all the reinforcing plates and spikes, but they tended to be even less intelligent than their unaugmented brethren, and could sometime crash into an inconvenient tree or rock and kill themselves during a charge. Super Cyboars got a 3+ Armour Save instead, and got the '''Fleet of Foot''' Special Rule for one turn when the Warboss in the saddle pressed '''Da Big Red Knob'''.

in 9th Edition, basic Cybork Bodies give a 6+++ '''Feel No Pain''', the advanced Supa Cybork Body gives a 5+++ '''Feel No Pain''', Bionik Arms've been revamped as [[Power_weapon#Power_Stabba|Power Stabbas]], and the gunner for the [[Kustom Boosta-Blasta]] sports a Targeter Eye.

=== Kustom Hands & Arms ===

Bionik Hands are the simplest of all the bioniks from Rogue Trader, and simply replace a mangled hand with a random ranged or melee weapon. If you're lucky, this could be one of several [[Power Weapons]]... or it could be a clunky blunderbuss.

Bionik Arms is where the interesting stuff happens.

'''Telescopic Arms''' grant +2 Initiative in close combat.

'''Magnetic Arms''' grant +1 WS and +1 Initiative in close combat.

'''Squig Attack Arms''' contain a built-in cage for one of several kinds of attacking squigs, which grant a bonus attack to represent the squig being allowed to pop out of its cage and then bite a victim, or a "stink squig", which can be used to create a cloud of tranquilizer gas around the ork.

'''Spike Arms''' are covered retractable spikes or blades, granting +1 WS and +1 Strength.

'''Grapple Arms''' can, obviously, be used to make a special grappling attack on enemies.

'''Grenade Thrower Arms''' give the bearer increased range with stikkbombs.

'''Extra Bionik Arms''' are, well, just that; rather than just replacing the missing arm, the painboy implants a third arm (or a second pair of arms), letting the lucky ork carry more weapons and punch more gits at once.

Finally, there's always the '''Bionik Arm with Kustom Weapon''', which is just a bionic arm with a random Kustom Hand attachment thrown in for good measure.

=== Kustom Legs ===

Bionik Legs can come in either singular or double versions.

'''Peg Legs''' are the el cheapo option, and no self-respecting ork wears one if they have another choice. -1 Movement for this.

'''De-luxe Booster Legs''' have rocket thrusters installed, giving them +2 Movement. Weirdly, these can be installed singularly and proceed to work just fine, and effectively you can get +4 Movement for having 2 Booster Legs!

'''De-luxe Kicking Legs''' are specially modified for use in combat, granting a bonus attack per leg.

'''Basic Bionik Legs''' have no special effects beyond letting the ork keep on walking, obviously.

'''Wheels, Tracks and Hover Units''' basically double the ork's Movement rate, with the special terrain restrictions for the appropriate kind of vehicle.

'''Jet-Powered Legs''' are only installed in pairs, and consist of a pair of vertically orientated jet thrusters. In essence, the ork now has a jet-pack... but can't walk in any way other than by trying to make short, control, jet-propelled "hops".

'''Special Jumping Legs''' are spring-based, allowing the ork to make huge leaps. +2 Movement, but must be installed in pairs.

'''Telescopic Legs''' are also installed in pairs, and grant both +2 Movement and increased abilities to see and shoot over tall obstacles.

'''Suction Feet''' are installed in pairs, obviously, and let the ork walk up vertical and along inverted surfaces.

Finally, the '''Gyro-Stabilized Monowheel''' lets the ork race around on a single motorized wheel, which is surprisingly quick.

=== Rebuilt Kraniums ===

Any skull or facially based implant is gathered into this section. Non-[[Weirdboy]] Orks have a 25% chance of gaining a random level 1 psychic power they can use without psi-points whenever they undergo a Rebuilt Kranium implant. Most of these are kind of self-explanatory.

'''Telescopic Bionik Eyes''' make the orks with them better shots over long ranges.

'''Targeter Eyes''', meanwhile, just make them better shots in general.

'''Respirator Mouthpieces''' build a gas-filtering device right into the ork's face.

'''Auto-Senses''' give the ork enhanced visual abilities, making them impervious to smoke and other blinding effects.

'''Stainless Steel Skulls''' are quite desirable, since they make the ork better equipped at headbutting contests.

'''Stainless Steel Mandibles''' look flash, but have no actual in-game effects.

'''Steel Horns''' are popular because they're even better for delivering headbutts than steel skulls are. They supersede the steel skull implant, so no point trying to take them together.

'''Lobotomies''' aren't so much an implant (duh) as a result of the painboy failing to curb their natural desire to play brain surgeon. It turns the victim ork into a Madboy. Too many of these, or the infamous Squig Brain Transplants, and the Dok will get a right kicking from angry orks.

'''Periscopes''' are... well, they're periscopes. They give their bearers the ability to see things from further and to look around without putting themselves in danger. Their bearers are often outfitted with rokkit launchers or similar ordinance, due to their increased ability to check range and aim.

'''Explosive Craniums''', despite what you might think, are actually sometimes requested! The idea is that the dok plants an explosive in the ork's head that detonates when the ork dies, which appeals to the ork's sense of vengefulness.

=== Doc's Surprise! ===

This is the catch-all terminology for any orky bio-mod that doesn't fall into the above.

'''Fuel Injection Implants''' outfit an ork with a refillable tank of fungus-juice fuel and the ability to flood their systems with the stuff via intravenous injection. It's basically an orky stim-pack, wich can be triggered to gain +2 Movement and Initiative for the rest of the game.

'''Fungus Breff''' implants are basically secondary stomachs laced with symbiotic fungi, allowing the ork to belch gouts of toxic gas in combat.

'''Iron Masks''' are extensive cranium reconstructions; steel teef, built in helmet, and three random facial bioniks all in one.

'''Cybork Bodies''' are the term used for heavy cybernetic reconstruction of the torso, making the ork stronger and tougher (+2 to both scores), but also prone to malfunctioning like any other bit of ork engineering.

'''Head Grafts''' are what happens when a painboy sews a still-living decapitated ork head to the body of an otherwise intact ork. The two heads share control of the body, gaining increased ambidexterity. On a 5+, this implant comes with a second pair of arms for free, allowing the ork to wield four weapons at once thanks to its twin brains and augmented nervous system.

'''Armor Plating''' is simply what it says on the tin; grafting metal bits to the ork's skin and flesh to patch up holes and make them tougher (+1 Toughness, in fact).

'''Steel Teef''' are a cosmetic treatment that no ork wants. For reasons that should be obvious if you read the [[Toof]] article.

Finally, the infamous '''Squig Brain Transplant''' results when the painboy swaps the brain of an ork with the brain of a pet squig, creating a zombie-like orkish slave. Too many of these will get a painboy krumped dead quick! Squig-Brained Orks have M4, WS3, BS2, S6, T6, W2, I2, A2, LD3, Int 3, Cool 8 and Willpower 3.

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Xenos]]

[[Category: Orks]]

[[Category: Dred Mob]]

{{Template:Orks-Forces}}

Mozgrod Skragbad

2021-07-11T08:44:35Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

Mozgrod Skragbad is a particularly infamous Beast Snagga Beastboss of the Snakebites Klan.
[[File:Mozgrod.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Da rider of da Great White Squig 'imself!]]
==History==
Mozgrod has become a figure of legend among the Orks, who eagerly share tall tales about his exploits, such as the time he was eaten by a [[Squiggoth]] who spat him out for being too tough, resulting in his current state where much of his body was replaced with cybernetics. But the most famous of these tales is his taming of the Great White Squig.

The Great White Squig (or "Big Chompa" as Skragbad came to name it) was an albino Squigosaur that was infamous for being the toughest, most savage and belligerent of its kind. Legends claim that Mozgrod brought it to heel with his intimidating gaze alone, though in truth he chased and bludgeoned it for three days before it finally capitulated to his will.

<gallery>
HxDM6t0oZyXjrBtR.jpg|His tabletop model
</gallery>

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Xenos]]

[[Category: Orks]]

{{Ork-Gitz}}

Mozgrod Skragbad

2021-07-11T06:59:15Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

Mozgrod Skragbad is a particularly infamous Beast Snagga Beastboss of the Snakebites Klan.
[[File:Mozgrod.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Da rider of da Great White Squig 'imself!]]
==History==
Mozgrod has become a figure of legend among the Orks, who eagerly share tall tales about his exploits, such as the time he was eaten by a [[Squiggoth]] who spat him out for being too tough, resulting in his current state where much of his body was replaced with cybernetics. But the most famous of these tales is his taming of the Great White Squig.

The Great White Squig (or "Big Chompa" as Skragbad came to name it) was an albino Squigosaur that was infamous for being the toughest, most savage and belligerent of its kind. Legends claim that Mozgrod brought it to heel with his intimidating gaze alone, though in truth he chased and bludgeoned it for three days before it finally capitulated to his will.

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Xenos]]

[[Category: Orks]]

{{Ork-Gitz}}

Mozgrod Skragbad

2021-07-11T06:58:15Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B: Created page with "Mozgrod Skragbad is a particularly infamous Beast Snagga Beastboss of the Snakebites Klan. Da rider of da Great White Squig 'himself! ==Hist..."

Mozgrod Skragbad is a particularly infamous Beast Snagga Beastboss of the Snakebites Klan.
[[File:Mozgrod|200px|thumb|right|Da rider of da Great White Squig 'himself!]]
==History==
Mozgrod has become a figure of legend among the Orks, who eagerly share tall tales about his exploits, such as the time he was eaten by a [[Squiggoth]] who spat him out for being too tough, resulting in his current state where much of his body was replaced with cybernetics. But the most famous of these tales is his taming of the Great White Squig.

The Great White Squig (or "Big Chompa" as Skragbad came to name it) was an albino Squigosaur that was infamous for being the toughest, most savage and belligerent of its kind. Legends claim that Mozgrod brought it to heel with his intimidating gaze alone, though in truth he chased and bludgeoned it for three days before it finally capitulated to his will.

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Xenos]]

[[Category: Orks]]

{{Ork-Gitz}}

Squig

2021-07-11T06:44:45Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

[[File:Squig.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Squigs. Making [[Tyranids]] feel insecure in the eating department.]]
A Squig, short for squiggly beast, is any one of a variety of bizarre organisms that exist semi-symbiotically with [[Orcs & Goblins]] and [[Orks]] alike. [[Fungus]]-based animals, their most iconic form resembles a large round ball that opens up a huge maw full of teeth, propelled by two strong legs that let it run, scramble and jump all over the place.

Night Goblins in particular like to herd huge swarms of these things onto the battlefield, as they are violently unpredictable and surprisingly dangerous.

In the 41st millennium, on the other hand, they play a somewhat different role. Some ork [[Warboss]]es will keep such squigs as personal attack animals, [[Oddboys|slavers]] always have trusty squig-hounds to help tame [[grot]]s, and [[Tankbustas]] favor a breed that they cram full of bombs and coax to charge towards (hopefully) the enemy before blowing up.

According to the [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]] splat, "Old World Bestiary", squig-meat is perfectly edible by humans and actually very tasty. Spit-roasted squig is described as resembling smoked ham with the consistency of young chicken.

[[Age of Sigmar]] introduces a mythological aspect to their origins with the introduction of Boingob, the godbeast progenitor of all Squigs. This massive creature barreled through the realms in a frenzied pursuit of the light of Hysh (basically the sun), until it finally jumped up and was roasted alive. Now its colossal skeleton serves as a holy place/impenetrable lurk lair to the Moonclan Grots.

Squigs can be bred into a vast variety of forms and functions. The most famous of these is arguably the monstrous [[Squiggoth]] which provide a similar sort of heavy infantry to a war elephant. Other, more obscure types include (but by no means limited to) Bag Squigs, Bomb Squigs, Eating Squig, Gas Squigs, Hair Squigs, Oily Squigs, Paint Squigs, Squig Sharks, Squig Hawks, and Squigeons all of which can be further explained below. Squigs are basically the apps of Ork society: if you can think of a function, there's a squig for that.

==Squig Varieties==
As mentioned. Squigs come in all sizes and flavors. Here are the documented species of Squigs officially recognized by the Imperium/whatever-institutio-exists-in-AoS.

===Attack Squig===
[[File:AttackSquig.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Attack Squig.]]
The most common and identifiable type of Squig. Whenever someone says Squig, this is the one that pops in everyone's head. The Attack Squig (''Orkus ferocitas''), also known as the Cave Squig, looks like it's trying to compete with the [[Tyranids]] for sheer 'OMNOMNOMNOMNOM' ability, consisting of nothing more than a bouncing ball of claws and razor-sharp teeth. These Squigs, as their name implies, are often used as attack animals, weapons, or pets. They can be given to the [[Grots]] as a food source (if the Squig doesn't eat them first) or even war mounts if said Grot is feeling particularly brave that day.

Sometimes an Attack Squig is transformed into a '''Bomb Squig''' via jamming as much explosive materials into the Squigs mouth as possible before setting it loose to fuck up some tanks. These specialized Attack Squigs are often utilized by either Ork Flashgitz or Tankbustas.

<gallery>
File:BombSquig.png|Bomb Squig.
</gallery>

===Bitey Squig===
[[File:Bitey Squig.JPG|150px|right|thumb|Bitey Squig]]
Bitey Squigs are a sub-species of Attack Squigs that have sufficient jaws, claws, and stingers to savage the target and anything close by. This breed is squig is frequently fired from Squig Launchas and Heavy Squig Launchas. Launched gnashing and snarling into the enemy, they latch onto the first thing they hit and do not stop chewing until they are killed. A bit like the Face-Eating Squig to be honest.

Legends states that the [[Rukkatrukk Squigbuggy]] was created due to a [[Just As Planned|'mishap']] when a Bitey Squig or some form of Attack Squig was accidentally stuffed into
the launcha and fired into a ''very'' unfortunate Ork’s face and thus, the legend was born.

It seems that the Bitey Squig can be differentiated by the normal Attack Squig with a stronger jaw, this can be seen with its more pronounced jawline which could only be supported with powerful jaw muscles. There is also the aforementioned stingers, which would most likely be located at the tail, unfortunately there isn't any indication that the tail has something ''alluding'' to a stinger tail. Bitey Squigs are also much smaller than the Attack Squig in order to fit inside a Squig Launcha, seeing as how an Attack Squig is often the size of sheep, it makes sense for the Orks to utilize a much more smaller and mobile version to be used as ammunition.

===Bile Squig===
[[File:Bile_Squig.JPG|150px|right|thumb|Bile Squig]]

The Bile Squigs come in a variety of breeds and are capable of spraying, squirting, or vomiting harmful fluids from their orifices. This breed of squig is frequently fired from Squig Launchas and Heavy Squig Launchas.

Typically launched by the handful, these creatures squeal and thrash while jetting acid, lubricants, poisons, and flammable fluids in every direction. The effects can sometimes be harmless, but other times can cause their victims to burst into flames, explode, or dissolve. Essentially, they are the Orky version of the [[Flamers of Tzeentch]], you never know what you're gonna get.

Bile Squigs seem to have an enlarged earhole or an orifice for which they shoot out their concoction of liquids, it is identified by its very [[Derp|derpy appearance]] and its long tongue which maybe used to lick off any excess liquid it shoots out.
===Bat Squig===
[[File:Bat_squig.JPG|150px|right|thumb|Bat Squig]]

A squig that has bat wings..... That's it..... Look it's just a squig that has bat wings alright it has the typical squig mentality, lives in a cave and can fly the only difference is that IT JUST HAS BAT WINGS. These Bat Squigs descend upon their victims in a flurry of gnashing jaws and spattering guano. It's not got some depressing story in which it lost its parents and now hunts down all everything that isn't greenskin, NO IT'S JUST A SQUIG WITH BAT WINGS, also no legs.

Might share a genetic lineage with a certain human performer with an equally surly disposition and big mouth, but that’s just speculation.

On tabletop, at the start of your shooting phase, you can pick 1 enemy unit within 18" of this model and roll a dice. On a 5+ that enemy unit suffers 1 mortal wound. This ability cannot be used if the Bat Squig minion has been removed.

<gallery>
File:Bat_squig_in_a_shellnut.JPG
</gallery>

===Boom Squig===
[[File:Boom_Squig.JPG|150px|right|thumb|Boom Squig]]

A special sub-species of the 'Splodin Squig.

This breed is squig is frequently fired from Squig Launchas and Heavy Squig Launchas. Boom Squigs, also known as Mine Squigs due to their shape, are infamous for their defense mechanism of violently exploding at the slightest provocation, typically due to direct physical contact or a loud noise ([[FAIL|or sometimes even their own bouts of indigestion]]).

They detonate with such force that they kill or maim anything unlucky enough to be in the vicinity. These creatures thus make the perfect living ammunition for Orks and are also sometimes used as landmines. They are also favored by Orks as the tools of [[Lulz|practical jokes,]] as nothing will amuse a Speed Freek more than hiding a [[Just As Planned|Boom Squig under the seat of a Rukkatrukk Squigbuggy driver like an explosive whoopee cushion.]]

<gallery>
File:Boom_Squif_Top.JPG
</gallery>

===Bowel-Torrent Squig===
[[File:Bowel_Squig?.JPG|150px|right|thumb|Bowel-Torrent Squig]]

A mysterious Squig referred to only as one of the most "revolting" and "panic-inducing". [[Shitstorm|Given its name it should be very easy to understand why.]] They are one of the numerous forms of living ammunition from the [[Rukkatrukk Squigbuggy]].

Unfortunately, despite being important enough to be mentioned in fluff, they still didn't really get that much screen time...or an identifiable model for that specific matter in the first place.

Fortunately for us in /tg/, the Rukkatrukk Squigbuggy model holds so many Squigs in its trunk and around the vehicle that we can sort of guess which Squig might best describe the Bowel-Torrent Squig the best.

Due to the Squig's....[[Bullshit|unique way of expelling its munitions]], we believe that the small albeit grumpy looking Squig with the long tail ''may be'' the elusive Bowel-Torrent Squig. Ya know...'cause it looks similar to that of a pigeon and this thing can 'fly' once it exits out the Squig Launcha. We would let your figure out the rest.

===Bag Squig===
[[File:Bag_Squig_2.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Bag Squig.]]

This type of Squig has a large, gaping mouth and a bag-like body that is almost entirely composed of stomach and nothing else. The stomach coincidentally functions secondarily as a pouch that allows the Squig to survive by slowly digesting food it stores up inside its body similar to that of modern Earth animals that hibernate by eating a lot of food during the summer. If the Squig is dried out, it can be made into a flask for drinks. If it is tanned like leather, it makes a useful bag or belt pouch.

By far one of the most practical form of Squigs used by the Orks.

<gallery>
Image:Bag_Squig.PNG
</gallery>

===Burna' Squig===
[[File:Burna_Squig_2.PNG|150px|right|thumb|Burna Squig.]]

The Burna' Squig is similar to the 'Sploding Squig. However while the 'Sploding Squig is a biological grenade the Burna' Squig is a biological molotov cocktail. Inside a Burna' Squig consists of multiple chemicals that when mixed, burst into flames rather than exploding. Orks sometime shake their Burna' Squigs to further enhance their fiery potential (Or force them to swallow even MOAR flammable materials such as Promethium) after being thrown if it doesn't explode in their face of course.

If the Ork is feeling a bit picky and don't really want to risk having his head blown off by enemy snipers, he can just let the Squig go off to its intended target. Of course, these may not result in the desired outcome as the Squig may be shot before it gets the chance to explode or the Squig wouldn't even explode in the first place and just growls at the target harmlessly.

The effects of Burna Squigs are equivalent to other flammable explosives found in the Imperium.

<gallery>
File:Burna_Squig.PNG
</gallery>

===Buzzer Squig===
[[File:Buzzer.jpg|150px|thumb|right|Buzzer Squig.]]
Buzzer Squigs are an insect-like like variation of the Squig typically used by Orks and Gretchins in a [[Squig Catapult|Squig Katapult,]] as they are very vicious and a swarm can strip the flesh off a man-sized creature within seconds. They are essentially flying piranhas but without the cowardly aspects of a piranha.

Buzzer Squigs are found among Ork fungus groves and are trapped in pots by Gretchin. The special pots are made from sun-baked mud, drilled with tiny holes to allow the Squigs inside to breath. The top of the vessel is corked shut and sealed with more mud once a good number of Squigs has been put inside. Normally the Squigs feed by burrowing into other larger Squigs or small animals such as rats, so when they are captured they soon begin to get very hungry. They can be kept without food in the pot for many weeks, getting angrier and more savage all the time. If the Gretchin is unfortunate in capturing these hornets of doom or accidentally breaks a pot full of these things, then he may end up as their lunch.

Gretchin can tell which pots contain the angriest Squigs from the high pitch of the droning and the vibrations of the pot as the Squigs try to burrow out (the walls of the pot must be made thick and hard). These pots, each containing a small swarm of enraged Buzzer Squigs, are the missiles fired by the Squig Katapult. The pot cracks open on impact, releasing the swarm of enraged Buzzer Squigs, who attack anyone nearby. They are great against Imperial Guards, Tau, Kroot, and low level Tyranid forces (cue irony of the [[Lulz|Tyranids getting out-NOMMED in their own game]]). Unfortunately they are quite useless when it comes to MEQs as those claws and fangs aren't going to do much against ceramite and reinforced wraithbone.

Buzzer Squigs can also be found on the [[Rukkatrukk Squigbuggy]], although they're far more limited in role due to the presence of other Squig species.

<gallery>
File:Buzzer_Squig_Model.JPG
</gallery>

===Buzzing Squig===
[[File:Buzzing.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Buzzing Squig.]]
Not to be confused with Buzz''er'' Squigs, Buzz''ing'' Squigs have tiny, propeller-like wings on their tails: miniature airscrews that allow them to fly like a biological helicopter. When they contact flesh (which they can smell), they bores in and eat their way straight through the unfortunate target. Upon emerging from the victim, they immediately dive back and bore through again, or set upon another victim. Orks have learned to use these deadly nuisances as weapons.

Gretchin are set to work trapping them for dispersal as swarms around the battlefield. Buzzing Squigs may also be kept in pots and thrown from makeshift catapults like the [[Squig Catapult|Squig Katapult.]] When the pot containing the Buzzing Squigs cracks, it releases a swirling swarm of these flesh-eating monsters.

In all honesty though, by function there is very little difference between the Buzzer and Buzzing Squigs as they both fulfill the same niche. They only look different enough to warrant their own species.

===Gob Squig===
[[File:Gob.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Gob Squig.]]
Gob Squigs are small enough to be put into an Ork's mouth and left there for the rest of the day (or the next few days, if the Ork forgets about it). The Squig cleans the Ork's mouth out by rooting round the teeth and eating the juicy bits of food that are stuck between them. They look like your typical fantasy [[Slime]] with a funny face although your local Commissar would suggest not petting one as they are known to bite. They are essentially an Ork's version of a toothbrush but more effective and cost-productive

The '''Chewin' Squig''' is another variant of the Gob Squig. An Ork can pop this sort of Squig into his mouth and chew on it while he sits and thinks (or sits and enjoys not thinking). The Ork version of a chewing gum, how the Squig could survive being munched by an Ork is a feat unknown by Imperial Xenologists.

===Great Cave Squig===
[[File:99800209017_GoblinWarbossCaveSquigNEW01.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Great Cave Squig]]
Think a regular Attack Squig given steroids. A Great Cave Squig is simply a larger variant of the more common Cave Squig that has grown to such a magnificent size that it has become as large as an Imperial warhorse. This Squig sub-species is the second largest of the non-Squiggoth family, with only the Colossal Squig surpassing it in both size and weight. Its large mouth is filled with teeth the size of swords and sabres and their appetite as ravenous as their smaller counterparts. These things are solitary predators that like to [[Get shit done|get shit done by itself.]]

Because of their large size, the Great Cave Squig makes for excellent cavalry for Night Goblins. However, their aggressive behavior makes it difficult for one to tame them effectively. The process of [[Rape|breaking in]] a Great Cave Squig would cost the lives of many Night Goblin, but once the beast learns to accept a rider, they serve as a more stable mount than the more smaller and unruly Cave Squig. Although they are costly to maintain, eating over twice their own body weight daily, a Night Goblin Warboss would do almost anything to keep such a magnificent asset in the hands of his tribe.

Since they're so difficult to tame, often times Goblins don't even bother doing so, instead just chaining two Great Cave Squigs together, pointing them vaguely in the direction of the enemy and setting them loose, resulting in the infamous Mangler Squigs. The Squigs drag and pull each-other across the battlefield, resulting in them essentially becoming living wrecking balls. In Age of Sigmar, some particularly insane Loonbosses use a pair of Mangler Squigs as a mount, usually if they're leading a Squigalanche warband.

On the even rarer occasions when a Great Cave Squig continuous to grow exponentially, they would grow to such a monstrous size that they are once again categorized into another even larger variant called simple as the Colossal Squig (As seen below).

<gallery>
Image:GreatCave Squig.png|NYUM YUM YUM YUM YUM!
</gallery>

===Colossal Squig===
[[File:CollossalSquig.jpg|150px|thumb|right|Colossal Squig.]]
Think an Great Cave Squig on steroids and having a mouth and stomach that could rival a [[Haruspex]] and the [[Mawloc|Mawloc]] in a eating competition. The Colossal Squigs are the largest variants of Squigs known to exist short of Squiggoths.

These cyclopean or six-eyed monsters boast an insatiable appetite, and are in essence no more than an impossibly vast fleshy maw studded with row upon row of scimitar-bladed teeth. The only way they get into battle is by finding some Orks and just moving in with them.

The Colossal Squig is often used as a giant living battering ram, bashing and splintering anything smaller than the Squig into a fine paste. Of course the presence of the Squiggoth kind of placed the status of the Colossal Squig in question. Nevertheless, they still have the capability of eating entire Space Marines whole let alone normal Guardsmen, granting some laughs by the local Boyz if the Squig doesn't eat them first.

Of special note is a small change to this subtype of Squig in [[Age of Sigmar]] - When a Colossal Squig dies, it blows up into a bunch of smaller Cave Squigs! ... Nature running its course?...

===Cape Squig===
[[File:GloomspiteGitzDesignersNotes-Dec27-Capesquigs10vh-1.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Cape Squig]]

These cute little Squigs are there to make you feel just a tad bit more important.

A Squig found only in [[Age of Sigmar]]. A presumably regal and dignified breed of squig, these little beasties help Skragrott keep his magnificent cape off the floor. Or maybe they’re trying to eat it. Probably both…

Anyways, these Squigs are quite fond after since they have a....distinct head shape of the Greenskin's moon, which makes it downright flash. Why they heads are shaped like that is anyone's guess (Selective breeding?). Skragrott the Loonking himself, is the self-styled overlord the Gloomspite Gitz (AKA Night Goblins, copyright edition). His sinister presence upon the field of battle ensures his fellow grots fight with greater spite and cunning than ever.

On tabletop, these little beasties are there for decorative purposes in order to make Skragrott look more important than he really is. Seriously you think they would provide anything of substance in the actual game?

===Eating Squig===
[[File:EatingSquig.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Eating Squig.]]
An Eating Squig (also known as Grubs or ''Orkus consumit'') is a limbless blob used as the primary Ork food source. It resembles an elongated, squarish slug with two eyes and a small pug mouth between its two eyes (like a cross between a blob fish and uncanned SPAM). Orks usually prefer them cooked, but they can be eaten raw as well. Gretchin are quite adept in cooking them and have a number of methods including kebabing, marinating in fungus wine, stuffed with fungus and herbs, roasted on a spit, deep fried with fungus chips, or griddled over a campfire. Who knew the Ork race have such a fine taste at culinary skills? Again Commissars would suggest not petting one no matter how pug-cute it looks, although suggesting to eat one for emergency rationing is fine for them.

With the fast reproduction on all Orkoid lifeforms, it is unknown why the [[Imperium of Man]] still haven't decided on capturing one of these Squigs and then mass producing them which would stop Galactic world hunger that plagues some of the Imperial Worlds (and no, [[Grox|not because of heresy]]). Maybe they are already looking into it, but with how slow the IoM usually is it may take decades to even centuries for it to be finalized and distributed in the entire Galaxy. Or it might have something to do with the fact that they're creature from the orkoid genus, so they release spores everywhere that can grow into the more dangerous parts of the genus including actual orks.

If the Eating Squig is the Duck/Chicken of an Ork culinary experience, then the '''Juicy Squig''' is the foie gras of Ork cuisine. The Juicy Squig is a very rare and delicious type of Eating Squig that may perhaps be the only known Ork delicacy. This Squig lives at the very bottom of an Ork fungal drop, and are not only rare, but difficult to find and bring up from the depths. Since these Squigs are seldom caught by the Gretchin and Snotlings, they often grow quite large and become even tastier as they get older.
<gallery>
File:OCG-grot-trader.jpg|Lovely indeed.
</gallery>

===Guard Squig===
[[File:Guard_Squig.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Guard Squig.]]
Ork Kaptins have been breeding a form of Squig known as a Guard Squig, or Squig Hound to some. Think of them as Guard Dogs. These creatures have all the ferocity of an Attack Squig, but are bred to be utterly loyal to their masters. When alone or not in battle, Squig Hounds are usually seen sleeping on their post or lying on their master's lap. Guard Squigs are often seen as a step up above the normal Attack Squig due to their aforementioned loyalty.

Guard Squigs are not to be confused with the Herd Squig whose nickname also bears the name Squighound or the [[Derp|actual Squighound themselves.]] Why GeeDubs thought repeating the name of three different species is a good idea is a mystery. Is it though? These are orks we’re talking about. Considering the rather direct (and often short) manner with which orks approach life, it’s hardly a surprise they’d have one name for several breeds of squigs. One ork may name a particular breed of squig a bitey squig for biting a lot, only to have his head bit off by said squig, prompting the next ork to confirm that it is indeed a bitey squig, while somewhere else in the mob the same little drama is occurring with an entirely different breed of biting squig with identical results. Orks are pragmatic...in their way.

===Targeting Squig===
[[File:Targeting-squig-art.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Targeting Squig.]]
A unusual type of Squig, Targeting Squigs (''Orkus scopum'') are weird creatures with a single targeting eye that serve as biological equivalents of Gitfindas used by Flash Gitz. Sometimes their pupils are even shaped into a cross-hair.

How the Squig could communicate with the Flash Gitz is unknown. Although certain unique sounds or barks could be help the Ork to signal that there may be ample prey around. That or it could flash different colors or release certain pheromones that only Orkoid species can detect.

On tabletop there is very little difference between the Squig and regular Gitfindas other then the cosmetic change. And they are cool looking model.

<gallery>
File:Targeting-squig.png
File:Last-wall-squig.jpg
</gallery>

===Face-Eater Squig===
[[File:Face Eater.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Face-Eater Squig.]]
Like how Humans have binge eating contests, the Orks have their own variety. Of course in this case the food has the potential of eating your face off. Here is where the Face-Eater Squigs come into play. The Face-Eater Squig is a toothed variety of Squig used both as a weapon and in the infamous Ork face-eating contests.

These Squigs, also known as "Gnashers" or "Gnasher Squigs," are a vicious mass of sharp teeth and claws. In their active state they appear to be just a gnashing mouth and very little else, though they look much like any other Eatin' Squig when they are at rest. Because of their violent nature, Gnashers provide the Orks with endless entertainment, and Squig-eating is one of the Orks' favorite pastimes. The Ork and the Squig both open their mouths and bite, in a parody of a kiss. If the Ork eats the Squig, he wins. If he keels over backwards, he loses.

Some Painboys made attempts to use Gnashers to amputate a patients limbs, but these attempts weren't very successful as they tend to bite off orderlies' arms or even Dok's fingers. Face-Eaters are often used as an attack squig. This organism is known to Imperium biologists as Orkus ravenati.

<gallery>
File:GnasherSquig.jpg|Nasty little fuckers.
</gallery>

===Flesheater Squig===
[[File:Flesheater.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Flesheater Squig.]]
In order to increase their wealth, some Orks breed large, ferocious beasts known as Flesheaters. The Flesheater has a great, gaping mouth like a crocodile, full of rows of sharp fangs that are similar to an Ork's canine teeth. They look like furry Orky crocodiles. Flesheaters continually shed and replace their teeth, and all the Orks have to do to collect this wealth is send a Gretchin to collect the teeth, who, of course, aren't overly keen on this duty.

Like Ork teeth, Flesheater teeth also deteriorate after a few years. Flesheaters are extremely long-lived, but rarely breed in captivity, making them even more valuable. Most Orks who own Flesheaters are either already Nobz, or become Nobz on account of the wealth derived from owning these Squigs. Not surprisingly, impoverished Orks sometimes attempt to steal a Flesheater, or even raid rival settlements to capture them.

They are literally a mobile money-making machine - who says money can't grow on <s>trees</s> animals?

===Gas Squig===
[[File:GasSquigs.jpg|150px|thumb|right|Gas Squig.]]

It is a Squig that literally has a [[Lulz|killer fart.]]

The Gas Squig produces a gas so toxic that Orks with gas masks throw this Squig in combat, using the Squig itself as a chemical weapon. They're essentially living gas bombs. Despite their use as a one time explosive however, the Ork can just let the Squig run loose in the battlefield, spreading as much chaos as possible as these nasty little runts can cover an entire field in a bath of toxic miasma and corrosive chemicals.

It is unknown what type of chemicals is needed for the Gas Squig to unleash a untold volume of lethal farts. High levels of methane or magic/warp-related bullshit is the only potential answer.

They are seen as one of the summoning Squigs in Warhammer Online.

According to the illustration of Warhammer Online, Gas Squigs look like normal Attack Squigs but with hole-like projections that constantly spew out the toxic materials like chimneys.

===Hair Squig===
[[File:Hairy.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Hair Squig.]]
Do you want to know how and where the Orks get their hairy ponytails from? Well the answer is obviously simple: they use Squigs to do the job, due to Orks being naturally hairless. Hair Squigs are a parasitic variety of Squig which possess small bodies, no legs, no eyes, and a pair of pincers in place of a mouth.

They have long hair running from their tiny bodies that Orks like to customize and dye after clamping the Squig's pincers onto their own hairless heads, though this customization has no effect on the Squig's health.

One particular variety of Hair Squig is known as '''Chin Squig'''. These creatures feature a long thin body with claws and hair all over it and, once put of Ork chin serve as an equivalent of beard. They are also known to be a sign of age and status among Orks.

<gallery>
File:Hair Squig.jpg
File:Chin_Squig.jpg|Chin Squig.
</gallery>

===Limpin Squig===
[[File:AoSSquigs-Jan8-SquigBall1jvrh.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Limpin Squig or a turkey drumstick, you make the call.]]

[[Lolwut|A Squig football/handegg. Yeah its weird but it makes sense in context.]]

Technically, this squig is from [[Blood Bowl]] rather than the [[Age of Sigmar|Mortal Realms (AKA Age of Sigmar)]], but its existence is so hilariously dumb it might as well be part of the Squig family. Also known as the Squigball, Orc teams are known for using squigs as balls, shearing one leg off so it can’t run away. Sometimes, they just find a particularly bulbous Squig and then literally kick its ass.

These Squigs must be extremely durable, squishy and bouncy. The best Limpin' Squigs have flesh that is extremely flexible, sturdy bones to survive repeated impacts and kicks, a skin firm enough to be held onto for long periods of time, an attitude that makes sure it doesn't ends up biting its holder in the middle of some intense Blood Bowl, and just the right enough shape to bounce to its trajectory.

It is not known is they exist in 40k or AoS, although seeing as how Orks/Orcs are stereotypical British hooligans, we wouldn't be surprised if they did.

===Mendin' Squig===
[[File:Squig-hairy-medical.jpg|150px|thumb|right|Mendin' Squig.]]
Mendin' Squigs or more commonly (and annoyingly) called the Hairy Squigs (Again not to be confused with Hair Squigs much to the Xenobiologist's constant frustration) is a type of medicinal Squig. Hairy/Mendin' Squigs are used by Painboyz as over glorified stitches. The Painboy simply applies it to the open wound, which it holds closed with its tiny, needle-like teeth. The Painboy then twists its tail off, leaving the head embedded in the flesh, repeating the process until the wound is "riveted up." The Mendin' Squig then feeds off blood oozing from the wound, thus keeping it clean and free from infection. By the time it shrivels and drops off, the wound has usually healed.

This form of medical technique is actually quite closer to reality than make believe. Some South American and African tribes or countries use a particularly large ant like bulldog ants to act as crude stitching. They just grab the ants and allow the powerful jaws to snap shut on the wound and like the Mendin' Squigs they then twist its body off, leaving only the head which is still in contact with the wound until it shrivels and falls off once fully healed.

===Herd Squig===
[[File:HerdSquig.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Herd Squig.]]
Herd Squigs have been specially bred and developed by Runtherds for the purpose of herding and controlling the herds of Runtz. They are related to the many varieties of pet Squigs, but have been selectively bred for their speed, intelligence, ferocity and endurance.

Their long, sensitive snouts and keen ears enable them to track down errant Snotlings and Gretchin wherever they might hide. Herd Squigs are excellent tracking beasts, and can follow trails which are days old.

They are also called Squighounds, which as you already know, [[Herp|should not be confused with the Guard Squig who already bears that nickname or the actual Squighounds themselves.]]

They are like pigs but more Orky.

===Horned Squig===
[[File:HornedSquig.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Horned Squig.]]
<s>A Squig that's [[/d/|''so Horny!'']]</s> {{Blam}}

The Horned Squig is a Squig which is gifted with long, sharp horns stretching from its head that Orks often jam into barricades to serve as living obstacles or act as a moving and mobile battering ram for siege warfare. They act like bulls and if used against troops, often ram its horns into the poor unfortunate sod in a relentless, charging stampede. They have a brighter red color scheme than Cave Squigs.

If the Horned Squig is disabled, then the Ork can simply just strap the Squig on its forearm and use it as a living weapon. The Orks are anything but wasteful and is capable of using everything, even other living organisms to its 'full' potential.

Like the Gas Squigs they are seen as one of the summoning Squigs in Warhammer Online.

===Mimic===
[[File:Squig_Mimic.PNG|150px|right|thumb|Mimic.]]

<span style='color:green;font-size:100%'>CA-CAW! OI GITZ GET MOVIN UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO TELL DA BOSS ON WHO IS MUCKIN' ABOUT!</span>

As you imagine, they are Ork parrots. A particularly popular type of pet Squig is known as the Mimic. This Squig has a large and toothy beak-like mouth and is vaguely parrot-like in both appearance and function.

Mimics can be seen perched on the shoulders of many an old and haggard Ork usually from the [[Freebooterz ]]to keep the pirate theme, casting expletives and insults at Greenskin passersby. Kaptins have a endearing affection to these little creatures and their ability to shout and swear at larger and more opposing Orks is often seen as a humorous delight to the Kaptin. Although woe to any Ork who accidentally swat these creatures out of annoyance. [[FATAL|The chance of getting your head wired to a Big Lobba by a pissed off Kaptin? Too high.]]

===Moon City Klankasquigs===
Cyborg Squigs. Surprisingly in Age of Sigmar and not 40K.
Crafted by the grots of the steampunk sky-port of Da Moon City, these half machine half fungoid abominations are sold to the highest bidders in the Gloomspite Gitz and often used as siege weapons. Known weapons include “fungus-burnas, mecha-chompas, and soopa-thrusta-bouncers.”

===Oily Squig===
[[File:Grot_Oiler.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Oily Squig.]]
The Oily Squig is a variety of Squig bred by Ork Meks to create fuel for the Orks' ramshackle vehicles. They create the fuel, an organically-synthesized version of Promethium, in their rotund bellies, and it can be squeezed out of their anteater-like trunks. These Squigs have no mouths, other than their trunk, and are not combat-oriented like their far more aggressive counterparts.

The most efficient way of extracting the oil from the creatures is to use a large pressing machine, although more primitive methods, such as having gretchin to jump up and down on them are also widely used. Orks prepare the barrels of the squig oil in advance and take those with them when they go on campaigns.

There exist two varieties of Oily Squigs, one with arms and a distinct head, and one that resembles an Attack Squig with a trunk for dispensing their fuel oil.

<gallery>
File:Squig-oily.jpg
File:7e-grotoiler.jpg
</gallery>

===Paint Squig===
[[File:PaintSquig.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Paint Squig.]]
Orks can be creative artists too! This small, vividly colored Squig excretes powerful dyes that are used as warpaint. These paints are also used by Gretchin artists as pigments for wall paintings and decorative banners.

Many Paint Squigs have tufts of hair on their trails, which allows the artist to use the Squig as both a brush and tube of paint simultaneously. The shells of Edible Squigs are also used by Gretchin artists as paint pots and palettes.

===Parasite-Hunting Squig===
[[File:Parasite-Hunter.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Parasite-Hunting Squig.]]
Parasite-Hunting Squigs are tiny but voracious feeders used to clear an Ork's body and clothes of parasites. An Ork simply drops a handful of these Squigs into his clothing and lets them crawl around. They look like Orkified spiders which can give arachnophobes nightmares but the Orks don't give a zog.

The Squigs prey on lice, ticks or leeches the Ork may have acquired in the course of his many unsavoury habits. When the engorged Parasite-Hunting squigs drop out of the Ork's clothing, the Ork simply gathers them up and pops them into his mouth for a juicy chomp.

===Screech Squig===
[[File:Screech_Squig.JPG|150px|right|thumb|Screech Squig]]

A mysterious Squig referred to as having [[Sonic Weaponry|oversized lungs that allow it to make an extremely loud screech.]] Screech Squigs disorient, incapacitate and make the enemy's ear drums burst in one of the most horrid sounds possible (We in /tg/ imagines it as mixing the cries of an infant that has sand paper in its throat with that of fingernails scratching the surface of a chalkboard). They are one of the numerous forms of living ammunition from the [[Rukkatrukk Squigbuggy]].

Unfortunately, despite being important enough to be mentioned in fluff, they still didn't really get that much screen time...or an identifiable model for that specific matter in the first place.

Fortunately for us in /tg/, the Rukkatrukk Squigbuggy model holds so many Squigs in its trunk and around the vehicle that we can sort of guess which Squig might best describe the Screech Squig the best. Due to the fact that it is nothing more than a weaponized Mimic or a living Sonic Weapon, the Screech Squig needs both a big mouth and a wide barrelled body to encompass its huge lungs. Unfortunately, most Squigs have a big mouth and a wide body. Likewise, we hypothesize that the Screech Squig might be in fact, the big Squig we see inside of the Heavy Squig Launcha. This is alluded to the fact that its mouth is close relatively shut and will only open once fired from the Launcha. You wouldn't want your Boyz to go all bleeding in their noggins because they failed to pacify that thing right?

A similarly themed and named Squig exists in Age of Sigmar called the '''Syari Screamersquig'''. A rare albino beast that loathes any form of light, and reacts to it with ear shattering screams. Unfortunately for it, it’s native to the Syari region of the Realm of Light. It’s been hunted to near extinction by the Lumineth Realm-Lords and is prized by many Grot Loonbosses for its screaming powers.

===Snufflesquig===
[[File:Snufflesquig.PNG|150px|right|thumb|Snufflesquig]]

Squig truffle pigs but more [[Derp|derpy in appearances.]]

Snufflesquigs are little more than massive noses and snapping mouths with wiry little legs that can be trained by Sneaky Snufflers to identify Looncaps, a type of mushroom that grows from the light of the Bad Moon, from others that induce effects such as vomit slime, break out in luminous yellow spots, babble uncontrollably or even burst into flames. When the Bad Moon approaches these unique squigs begin to howl with raised snouts.

Like truffle pigs, Snufflesquigs have a tendency to eat these shrooms if not carefully attended.

===Smasha Squig===
[[File:LAEMX6Acaz90SDmn.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Smasha Squig]]
A cousin to the Squig-Hog, the Smasha Squig is basically an orkified [[Dinosaur|Pachycephalosaurus]].

They are usually ridden by the [[Nob]]z of the [[Squighog Boy]]z from the [[Beast Snagga]] sub-kulture. Unlike the Squig-Hog, the Smasha Squig is bipedal, running on two legs rather than four and are far tougher than the regular old Squig Bacon. They are far more ferocious than even the Squig-Hogs however, which just proves the testaments of these Nobz when they have to bash their head in until they accept their new master.

Moreover, they are further adorned with a heavy armour plate that’s perfect for becoming the living, snarling wrecking ball that all Orks aspire to be. Whether the Smasha Squig has the mother of all thick skulls we have no idea.

{{Clear}}

===Spiky Squig===
[[File:Spiky.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Spiky Squig.]]
Spiky Squigs look like a living ball covered with spines which, when agitated, as an instinctive reaction, can shoot out at any threatening creature rather like a porcupine (except porcupines can't actually do that) .

These spines inflict a poisonous sting on anyone struck by them, though the effect of the poison on Orkish flesh is not as drastic as it is on other races due to the similar biology of all Orkoid races. Squigs of this kind are used in some bionik arms fitted with cages and a quick release system, so they can be used as a close combat weapon as a living, breathing Morning Star.

Spiky Squigs move via rolling around like a ball, however when it comes to hunting food, it would propel itself at high speed before launching into the unsuspecting prey. Launching its poisonous spines and letting it run its course. This unusual hunting method has been seen by xenobiologists as bizarre and weird.

==='Sploding Squig===
[[File:Splodin_Squig.jpg|150px|right|thumb|'Sploding Squig.]]
A biological grenade used by the Orks if they run out of stikkbombs. 'Sploding Squigs possess multiple stomachs, each containing a thick broth of unstable digestive chemicals. Some 'Sploding Squigs may be covered in spines which may act as fragmentation when it explodes.

When agitated, usually though violent shaking, the 'Sploding Squig's digestive juices combine into a combustible liquid, causing the Squig to explode in a shower of meat, teeth, and bone fragments. While typically thrown in combat, 'Sploding Squigs are also often buried and used as mines. Orks are known to force-feed 'Sploding Squigs a meal of scrap metal before battle in an effort to enhance their lethality.

If the Ork is feeling a bit picky and doesn't really want to risk having his head blown off by enemy snipers he can just let the Squig go off to its intended target. Of course this may not result in the desired outcome as the Squig may be shot before it gets the chance to explode or the Squig wouldn't even explode in the first place and just growls at the target harmlessly.

However, the widespread use of regular Bomb Squigs has lessened the value of 'Sploding Squigs as Bomb Squigs are just regular Attack Squig fitted with explosives. No need to wait around for a specialized and uncommon Squig to mature when the most common type of Squig already fills in their purpose.

===Spore Squig===
[[File:AoSSquigs-Jan8-SporeSquig3mteg.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Spore Squig]]

[[Drug|A Squig to huff some shrooms and get high.]]

A walking LSD projector. These little squigs are used defensively by Fungoid Cave-Shamans, who need but stamp on one to release an obscuring cloud of spores. The Fungoid Cave-Shamans themselves are the lepers of Goblin kind. Found only in [[Age of Sigmar]], the mushroom-gobbling grot maniacs known as Cave-Shamans are obviously not right in the head.

To these greenskinned nutters, to get lost in a brain-mangling vision is to grow closer to the side of Gorkamorka that epitomises cunning and trickiness over brute strength, which is the side that all grots like the best.

The Spore Squig is nothing more than a living, breathing hookah for the greenskin to sniff some grade-A meth and can, on command, release said spores towards its enemies to make them just as high as the Squig's personnel caretakers.

Moral of the story, don't do drugs kiddos, especially on the battlefield.

===Squiggoth===
The largest of all squig species, have their own page.

===Squigeon===
[[File:Squigeon3.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Squigeon.]]

Squigeons (''Orkus aerium'') are the Squig counterparts of the Terran pigeon or columbidae if you are feeling fancy, often utilized for sending messages during battle amongst Ork tribes that lack more advanced methods of communication. Although they are sometimes hunted by the dreaded Squighawk or used as target practice by Stormboyz.

[[HHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhnnnnnnngggggg-|They are the cutest little orkspawn your will ever get the chance of meeting.]] Unfortunately, due to GeeDubs incompetence, we never ever get to see them further fleshed out in fluff. This time the Commissar would be fine with you petting a Squigeon.

<gallery>
File:Squigeon.jpg
</gallery>

===Squighawk===
[[File:SquigHawk.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Squighawk.]]

<span style='color:green;font-size:200%'>'''BA-CAAAWK! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!'''</span>

Think of a Orkified Pterodactyl. Squighawks are a wild, flying species of Squig that are large enough to eat Orks. Thus, they are ECKS BAWKS HUEG.

Unfortunately, they are often too difficult to be trained (Could be because the Squighawk view Orks are prey #1) and are rarely used by Ork Runtherdz which is saying something on how hard it is to tame these things when the Orks manage to successfully do it to the much larger Squiggoth.

Still, it would be cool if we actually got to use these <s>Dinosaurs</s> flying reptiles on the tabletop. Chances are, these things could potentially reach a size to rival some larger Tyranid flying strains such as the [[Harpy]].

===Squig-Hog===
[[File:Beast Snaggas.jpeg|200px|right|thumb|Squig-Hog]]
Presumably native to worlds of Feral Orks where no [[Warboar]] species are to be found, these piggy squigs must be what happens when the Orkoid ecosystem has to make its own Warboars. They are tougher and much sturdier than a regular horse and can pretty much eat anything that fit in their mouths, although the horse is overall much faster and has better endurance.

Like the Warboars, the [[Snake Bites]] use them as calvary like the Imperium's [[Rough Riders]] and they are ''thicc'' enough that a [[Gretchin]] could hop on as well. Orks who ride these guys are called [[Squighog Boy]]z, which are a type of [[Beast Snagga]]s. Now whether they compete for the same environmental niche as the Warboars we have no idea. Although them tasting like bacon, however...
{{clear}}

===Squighound===
[[File:Squighound.jpg|right|150px|thumb|Squighound.]]
Squighounds (''Orkus canis''), commonly known as "Growlers," are a variation of the Attack Squig, used by Ork Slaverz to help them keep the Gretchins and slaves from other races in line, some have four legs, although two-legged varieties certainly exist. "Growlers" are also often kept as a form of pet by other Orks, as they are roughly the size of a small dog, hairy, and particularly vicious.

A Pet Squig often scurries about behind its master, barely under his control, giving its owner no end of amusement and laughs [[Troll|especially when the Squig snaps at the ankles of another Ork.]]

They are not to be confused with the Guard Squig or Herd Squig who are also [[Derp|referred to as 'Squighound'.]]

===Squigosaur===
[[File:Squigosaur.JPG|200px|right|thumb|Squigosaur]]
The Squigosaur are large two-legged squigs, that [[Beast Snagga]]s ride upon. They are similar in appearance to the Smasha Squig, but whilst the Smasha Squig is an Orky Pachycephalosaurus, the Squigasaur is the Allosaurus of the family.

The most famous of which is the Big Chompa or otherwise known as '''The Great White Squig''' (AKA the Great White Shark on legs or "I can't believe it's another Moby Dick reference!"). A legendary alpha Squigasaur regarded as the most belligerent, vicious, and savage of its kind. It was responsible for a breathtaking number of missing Boyz and was also utterly untameable. That is, until Beast Snagga Mozrog Skragbad appeared with all his chad energy and proceeded to beat the ever-loving shit out of it until it complied for three days.

Although he has tamed the Squigosaur, it will revert to its original destructive nature, when he is not nearby. In order to keep Big Chompa in line, the long-suffering Skragbad is forced to keep himself at its side and the two are rarely seen apart.
{{Clear}}

===Squigpipe===
[[File:Pipe.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Squigpipe.]]
Just to further hone in the Scottish stereotype within the Orks (prejudice much, GeeDubs?). This special type of Squig is used by the Orks as a musical instrument. Several tube-like proboscises emanate from this Squig's bag-like body.

The Musical Squig can be tucked under one arm and inflated by blowing down the proboscis. Then, by squeezing the Squig, weird and terrifying sounds can be made through the creature's proboscis pipes. This turns the Squig into a musical instrument, much like the bagpipes, but a thousand times more cacophonous. Orks like to go into battle accompanied by this Squig much to the detriment of their enemies.

<gallery>
File:OCG-grot-playing.jpg
</gallery>

===Squigshark===
[[File:SquigShark.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Squigshark.]]
Orks as Jaws. Squigsharks are the Squig counterparts of Terran sharks that inhabit Ork-infested worlds. And no they are not huggable; your local Commissar definitely urges you to '''''NOT''''' pet one out of safety and preventing potential stupidity.

They are known to be very dangerous beast and many Ork sailors trying to cosplay as Moby Dick ended their lives as a food for Squigsharks. Whenever one appears, it is obligatory to play the signature Jaws music. They are by far the top oceanic predator of any Ork World.

YOU. HAVE. BEEN. WARNED.

<gallery>
Deff_Skwadron_Squig-Shark-2.jpg|Dun dun...dun dun...dun dun dun dun dun....
</gallery>

===Squig Gobba===
[[File:Squig Gobba 2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Squig Gobba.]]
A [[Forge World]] model, which is the size of a colossal squig. The difference is that this one can fire smaller squigs out of its mouth. The Squig Gobba is essentially living artillery.

Dragged and prodded onto the battlefield by its malevolent Goblin tenders, it is a huge beast with an oversized gaping maw, a set of extremely powerful lungs and a ravenous appetite to rival even that of a Troll. With the Squig Gobba heavily chained into position to prevent it bounding off after the first tasty morsel it spies, its tenders start dragging lesser squigs from the cages surrounding them as battle is joined, slicking these vicious beasts with foul-tasting noxious liquids.

This not only renders the creatures senseless for a short time, but also prevents the Squig Gobba from immediately swallowing them as the stunned squigs are unceremoniously stuffed into its jaws. Goblins can also make it explode if they want to.

<gallery>
File:Squig Gobba.jpg|Hey look! It seems that the last of the Gastric Brooding Frogs have evolved!
</gallery>

===Stalagsquig===
[[File:GloomspiteGitzDesignersNotes-Dec27-Stalagsquig10vx-1.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Stalagsquig]]

Squigs are highly adaptable creatures, taking a myriad range of forms. Some, for example, infest the rock itself, creating Stalagsquigs.

The Stalagsquigs are a what happens when orks and gobboz believe that <span style='color:green;font-size:100%'>"OIH DAT STONE FING OVER DERE LOOKS LIKE A BITEY SQUIG"</span> and as such the power of [[WAAAGH|WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH made it so.]] The species looks like normal stalagmites from afar but get close enough and you will be introduced to a stone skinned biting nightmare. This particular breed has yet to be seen in 40k but it is prevalent in Ye Age of golden hammer jackasses [[Age of Sigmar]].

It is unknown how these squigs move (if they move at all?) since they seem to have no visible legs, unless it's a luggage scenario where it sprouts thousands of little legs from its base when it wants to move.......WELP, have fun sleeping after thinking about that. Emperor damn, it's like the [[Chaos Spawn|chaos spawns all ov-BGRIHSRAJKHSJAHDSAIUOFDGHU.]] However, according to Warhammer Community, they are totally immobile and viciously hungry creatures that make exploring caves in the Mortal Realms an even worse idea than you thought it was.

As a side note there has been no recorded evidence on how big these squigs can grow to but seeing as how normal stalagmites can grow to be bigger than a sky scraper if given enough space we might have to worry about descending into caves in the foreseeable future.

It is not known whether they have a stalactite version for the stalagsquig.

===Swab Squig===
[[File:Swab.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Swab Squig.]]
The Swab Squig is a type of Hair Squig, but unlike the long trailing hair of its cousins, its round body is covered with short, fluffy fur. Orks use Swab Squigs to mop up during operations, and they come in handy for emergency handkerchiefs too. Despite looking like a giant fluffball they have a humongous mouth and are quite snappy too. Swab Squigs tend to share a comedic relation with [[Snotling|Snotlings]] due to the latter's mentally retarded habit of poking things that should not be poked, which often ends with the little snots running around having their asses bit by the Swab Squig.

Non-pettable by your local Commissar.

<gallery>
File:Squig-swab-2.jpg|It is wise not to pet something that looks cute....
File:Squig-swab-3.jpg|....Or else this happens.
</gallery>

===Syringe Squig===
[[File:Syringe.jpg|150px|thumb|right|Syringe Squig.]]
Syringe Squigs are primarily used for medicinal purposes. These medical Squigs have natural properties which Painboyz find useful when patching together battle-damaged Orks. Syringe Squigs have a long needle-sharp proboscises with which they inject venom into their prey. Syringe Squigs exude a soporific venom which makes a fine anesthetic for Orks when the traditional anesthetic (known to other races as a "concussion") is unavailable.

Syringe Squigs are divided by their sizes to 'small', 'big' and 'urty' which are used depending on the strength of the dose required. The venom is sometimes extracted from the creature and used separately for mixing up some kind of special 'medicine', or if a really large dose is needed.
===Tomb Squigs===
[[File:Tomb_Squig_placeholder.JPG|150px|right|thumb|Tomb Squig]]
From old-school Warhammer, Tomb Squigs are an albino breed of burrowing squig that feeds on corpses and undead alike.

Often found in [[Dorf|Dwarfen]] tombs that have been broken open and looted, they are sometimes also found in graveyards where their presence often makes sure undead aren't present in these areas. Slightly smaller than regular Squigs, they possess amazingly powerful jaws for their size, which they use to break open stone sarcophagi and to bite through the ceremonial armour Dwarfs often bury their dead in.

At the cost of there being corpse-eating squigs, these critters are as likely to attack and devour the undead as the actually dead (and living as well). As such, Tomb Squigs can serve as a [[Just As Planned|nasty surprise]]; really ruining a tomb robber’s day as not only do they present a threat to life and limb, [[Troll|they can also destroy valuable weapons and armour hidden in the tomb.]]
Source: https://warhammerfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Tomb_Squigs

===Tramplasquig===
A quadrupedal Squig breed that is large enough to drag large vehicles. The Beast Snaggas use them to carry their Kill Rigs and Hunta Rigs.

===Vampire Squig===
[[File:Vampire.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Vampire Squig.]]
The Vampire Squig is a blood-sucking creature with long sharp fangs, used by Painboyz to bleed the patient and suck bad blood and pus from septic wounds. The Squig does not seem to mind what the blood is like or from what species it comes so long as it gets a regular and plentiful supply.

When times are hard (which for Orks is when there's not much fighting) the Painboyz are forced to find other ways to keep their pets alive, which they do by extolling the benefits of regular bleeding to otherwise healthy Orks. It is also a good way to earn tons of teef in a short amount of time.

=== Wyrdsquig ===

[[File:Wyrd.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Wyrdsquig.]]

A Wyrdsquig is a little known psychic Squig subspecies, that has close genetic links to the Gnasher Squig. Despite their close relations, they are fucking hideous; looking more like an aborted love child between [[H.P. Lovecraft|Yog-Sothoth]] and the [[Halo|Timeless One.]]

This subspecies is rarely encountered in the wild and possesses psychic abilities similar to those of Ork [[Weirdboy]]z. The Wyrdsquig is often employed in battle as a "psychic bomb," releasing a catastrophic telepathic shockwave at the moment of its death.

They are one of the few Warp-based weapons that the Orks utilize along with the [[Warp_Weapons#Shokk_Attack_Gun|Shokk Attack Gun]] and [[Warp_Weapons#Tellyport_Blasta|Tellyport Blasta]].

=== Yskian Bounder ===

Better known by Grots as a “kommon git-snappa”, this Squig is unique to Ghyran the Realm of Life, specifically the Yskian Veldt. They are enriched with life magic to the point where they can emerge fully grown from their flesh shroom pods in a matter of hours. This makes them the Squig of choice for many Gloomspite Gitz.

[[Category: Warhammer Fantasy]]

[[Category: Orcs & Goblins]]

[[Category: Age of Sigmar]]

[[Category: Gloomspite Gitz]]

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Xenos]]

[[Category: Orks]]

[[Category: Feral Orks]]

[[Category: Squigs]]

[[Category: Megafauna]]

{{template: Orks-Forces}}

Gardus Steel-Soul

2021-06-09T07:54:43Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

Gardus Steel-Soul is a Lord-Celestant of the Hallowed Knights Stormhost, leading the "Steel Souls" Warrior Chamber that is named in his honour. Introduced way back in early AoS in the Realmgate Wars, he became one of the more popular Stormcast characters which lead to him becoming the first non-Hammers of Sigmar Stormcast special character on tabletop.

==History==
===Origins===
In his mortal life, Gardus was not a mighty warrior, merely a doctor called Garradan. When the forces of Nurgle invaded his hospital, he took up two iron candlesticks as improvised weapons to defend his patients. Though no match for the forces of Chaos, his heroism caught the eye of Sigmar and when he took a spear in the back he was spirited away to become a Stormcast Eternal.

===The Realmgate Wars===

===Broken Realms===

==On Tabletop==
Gardus isn't very much different from the typical Lord-Celestant, wielding the exact same weapons and having only minor differences in his statline. His unique special rules are giving an aura to resist mortal wounds (5+ on himself, 6+ on his allies), being able to pile in and attack after being killed, and once per battle being able to declare a "Saintly Assault" which allows him and nearby Hallowed Knights heroes to reroll charges and have an additional attack.

Gardus Steel-Soul

2021-06-09T07:54:00Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B: Thought he deserved a page, someone more familiar should fill it out

Gardus Steel-Soul is a Lord-Celestant of the Hallowed Knights Stormhost. Introduced way back in early AoS in the Realmgate Wars, he became one of the more popular Stormcast characters which lead to him becoming the first non-Hammers of Sigmar Stormcast special character on tabletop.

==History==
===Origins===
In his mortal life, Gardus was not a mighty warrior, merely a doctor called Garradan. When the forces of Nurgle invaded his hospital, he took up two iron candlesticks as improvised weapons to defend his patients. Though no match for the forces of Chaos, his heroism caught the eye of Sigmar and when he took a spear in the back he was spirited away to become a Stormcast Eternal.

===The Realmgate Wars===

===Broken Realms===

==On Tabletop==
Gardus isn't very much different from the typical Lord-Celestant, wielding the exact same weapons and having only minor differences in his statline. His unique special rules are giving an aura to resist mortal wounds (5+ on himself, 6+ on his allies), being able to pile in and attack after being killed, and once per battle being able to declare a "Saintly Assault" which allows him and nearby Hallowed Knights heroes to reroll charges and have an additional attack.

Kruleboyz Orruks

2021-06-04T04:17:21Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B: I believe the preview livestream explained them as such. "Breaka" like breaking horses.

{{AoS-Stub}}

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Kruleboyz|Logo=|Alliance=Destruction|Motto=}}

'''Kruleboyz''' are a sub-faction/sub-species of Orruk native to the many swamps and marshes of the Mortal Realms, particularly Ghur. These lean and lanky gits prioritize Mork over Gork, leading to an extremely cunning and cruel natured society, hence the name. Roused by the return of [[Kragnos]], the Kruleboyz join the greater Orruk Warclans in a Waaagh! of realm shaking proportions.

Unlike their [[Bonesplitterz]] and [[Ironjawz]] cousins, the Kruleboyz actively utilize [[Gloomspite Gitz|Grot]]s in their forces, making them the closest thing to the oldschool Orcs and Goblins combined army. However aesthetically they draw less from the traditional 40k redition of what an "Orc" is, big angry overly muscled, almost gorilla look: and more lanky, thin look, almost resembling an orc from [[Lord of the Rings]] more then Warhammer (although, this could be due to being influenced by the old 2nd-3rd Edition Warhammer Fantasy Greenskins appearances).

==Da Forces of Da Kruleboyz==
*'''Killaboss''': The leaders of the Kruleboyz Warclans, who are just as eager to shove a poisoned dagger into a rival as they are to lob off their head in a fight. They’re often followed by little guys called Stab Grots, “brave” minions who help their boss fight off enemies or serve as a nice meat shield. The most ambitious (or crazy) Killabosses will tame large bog-hounds called Great Gnashtoofs and use them as relentless mounts.
*'''Breaka-boss''': The Kruleboy bosses in charge of capturing and taming beasts for battle, these domineering Orruks ride into battle atop Mirebrute Troggoths and goad then into rampaging through enemy lines.
*'''Swampcalla Shaman''': Considered to be disgusting even to the other Kruleboyz, these Shamans channel the copious gunk and poisons of their marsh homelands into vile magic to fling at enemies. Interestingly, they appear to wear the facial part of a Gargant skull as back-armor. They are always accompanied by a cauldron laden Pot Grot who helps the Shaman brew his potent spells.
*'''Murknob''': Lieutenants and underbosses to the Killaboss. They usually carry around enchanted Belcha-Banners that repel enemy wizards and cover the area in a swampy fog.
*'''Man-Skewer Boltboyz''': A step up from the Arrer-Boy of old, these Orruks wield poison coated crossbows designed to pierce through armor and shish-kabob any unfortunate soul in the line of fire.
*'''Beast-Skewer Killbow''': The artillery version of the Man-Skewers, and the AoS take on the Spear Chukka.
*'''Gutrippaz''': The foot soldiers of the Kruleboyz Warclans, equipped with jagged poisonous spears and leer faced shields.
*'''Hobgrot Slittaz''': Hobgoblins are back! Stated as diminutive middle men for the Kruleboyz and some [[Chaos Dwarf|unknown masters]] rather than actually a part of the Orruk fold, these yellow skinned backstabbers use crudely made stick grenades to blow apart enemy formations.

==Warclans==

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Killaboss on Great Gnashtoof.jpeg
Murknob with Belcha-banna.jpeg
</gallery>
{{Template:Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Orruk Warclans]]

Red Dwarf

2021-06-02T15:03:59Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{British}}

'''Red Dwarf''' is one of the best known cult British sci-fi TV shows that aren't [[Doctor Who]], a "science comedy" series that only got green-lit by convincing the BBC it was going to make fun of sci-fi shows, such as the mega-hit [[Star Trek]], but which developed a cult following for its unique blend of pseudo-hard sci-fi, black comedy, slapstick, and enough clever tech and space-related jokes to show the creators A: knew the science they were talking about, and B: were having plenty of fun taking the piss out of it all. It was sort of a live-action Futurama before Futurama was a thing, for any anons that still remember Futurama ''being'' a thing.

==The Plot==
In a not-too-distant future, humanity has colonized the solar system, and a megacorp called the Jupiter Mining Corporation runs a fleet of massive sub-light ships which flit around the system, snaffling up asteroids and breaking them down into usable minerals to then sell to the ever-resource hungry consumers of humanity. One such mining ship is the ''Red Dwarf'', and amongst its crew of hundreds of miners and support staff, our protagonist is the lowest of the low; Dave Lister, a genial but unambitious bloke from Liverpool, stuck with the rank of 3rd technician whilst dreaming of the day he can return to Earth and buy a plot of land on Fiji, where he will keep a hobby farm and run a hot-dog & donut diner. This despite the fact most of Fiji has been sunken about a meter beneath sea level by volcanic eruption ('That's why the sheep are going to have to be quite tall'). Technician 3rd Class is the lowest rank aboard ship, and just about qualifies him for the most pathetic of maintenance tasks, such as restocking the candy vending machines with fun-sized chocolate-covered honeycomb pieces and cleaning the gunk out of soup dispensing tubes from the various auto-chefs scattered around the ship. In Dave's own words this makes him lower down the ship's pecking order than the Scutters - the simple service mechs that infest the ship like rats and consist of a primitive, three-fingered gripping claw on a little four-wheeled body - and the guys who restock the toilet paper. The only person of equally low rank is his immediate superior; Arnold J. Rimmer, Technician 2nd Class and the ship's resident smeghead.

Aside from a crush on a navigation officer named Kristine Kochanski, whom he pines after from afar, Lister's primary friends are a couple of comparatively low-level roughnecks like himself, and a heavily pregnant pet cat. As our series starts, this illegal pet is discovered by the ship's captain, who demands that Lister give the animal to them to be destroyed, or else he will spend the rest of the Red Dwarf's flight in temporal stasis before being fired once they get back to Earth. Dave chooses the latter... and is greatly confused when time restarts itself and Holly, the ship's controlling AI, greets him with the welcome that the radiation levels are now safe.

See, once Lister went into stasis, for some insane reason, Rimmer was given responsibility for performing maintenance on the shielding surrounding the ship's lethally radioactive core. Rimmer, being an even bigger incompetent than Lister (whose primary fault is a lack of ambition), botched the job and caused a massive radiation leak that killed the entire crew and sent Holly, as per safety regulations, rocketing on an unplotted course into deep space until the background radiation levels reached a safe level. It only took a mere '''3 million years''' for this to happen, and by now the Red Dwarf is hopelessly lost somewhere in deep space.

Rather than give in to despair, Lister assembles a small crew of crazies around himself and sets off to try and find Earth again, determined to see what has become of humanity over the eons. No matter what dangers or batshit crazy things he has to get past to do it.

==The Boyz from the Dwarf==
Unlike [[Star Trek]], Red Dwarf has only a small cast of protagonists, forced together by the sheer loneliness of their lifestyle as the only four occupants aboard a ship meant to contain hundreds of people.

'''Dave Lister:''' A good-hearted slacker and typical "lower-class bloke". Before being sealed in stasis dreamed of using his saved up pay to buy some land on Fiji, where he would live on a hobby farm and open his own hot dog and donut stand. Despite his laziness and disgusting habits, he easily has the strongest sense of justice out of any of the crew, often taking a hard stance against such things as Rimmer's glorification of war or Kryten's programmed servitude.

'''Arnold Judas Rimmer:''' Although the original Rimmer was killed in the radiation leak, Holly had the ability to create a hologram simulation of one deceased crewmember, choosing Rimmer because he was the person Lister had the most conversations with. Anal-retentive, power-hungry and incompetent, with a seriously messed up backstory. Was raised by an abusive father who forced him into the Space Corps, a crutch that he uses to avoid taking any personal responsibility for his failures. A total coward, despite his obsession with warfare and military history (and the fact being a hologram makes him almost impossible to kill). Originally phased through solid objects, although in Season 6 onwards he was upgraded with a "Hard Light" hologram emitter that returned his ability to physically interact with the enviroment.

'''The Cat:''' During the 3 million years in which Red Dwarf sped away from Earth, Lister's pet cat and her kittens were safely sealed in the hold, away from the radiation and with plenty of access to food. 3 million years of inbreeding in a mildly radioactive environment caused them to mutate into a race of nearly human-looking [[catfolk]], and most of them eventually left Red Dwarf in search of the legendary promised land of Fuchal, having somehow maintained the memory of Lister's existence and dream before converting them into a mythical saviour-god and heavenly realm. One male Cat, known simply as "The Cat", remained on Red Dwarf by the time Lister was freed, having been born to two of the sick and crippled cats left behind to die by their fellows. The Cat is intensely vain to the point of narcissism, which is implied to be a natural trait of his species. He has a particular obsession with his appearance, and often checks his appearance in a mirror or talks about his clothing.

'''Kryten 2X4B-523P:''' A sanitation mechanoid that Lister, Rimmer and the Cat discovered aboard the crashed ruins of a ship called the Nova 5, still tending to the long-dead corpses of his former mistresses due to being unable to recognize that they were dead. Lister attempted to teach him how to break his programming and think for himself, to mixed results (for instance, he was taught to lie, but these lies are often transparent due to him stating that he's entering "Lie Mode"). As the smartest member of the crew often takes the science officer role, much to Rimmer's resentment. Is a strong believer in the android religion, which justifies mechanoids slavery to humanity by claiming that if they loyally serve they will be rewarded with "Silicon Heaven" in the afterlife (despite this, he finds the idea of "Human Heaven" laughable).

===Secondary Characters===
In addition to the four mainstay characters, Red Dwarf has played prolonged host to a handful of recurring secondary characters over the years.

'''Skutters:''' Little more than a three-fingered gripping claw on wheeled base, Skutters are the basic service mechanoids responsible for maintaining Red Dwarf in all of its nearly continent-sized glory. Not the brightest machines, but they do have distinct personalities, and are implied to play up how dumb they are in order to get one over on Rimmer, whom they hate. They get on much better with Lister, seeing a kindred spirit in him.

'''Holly:''' The ship's Artificial Intelligence, Holly basically runs the ship by himself, but doing it entirely on his own, and having been alone for 3 million years, has left him more than a little daft. He is a regular protagonist in the first two seasons, then undergoes a sex change and becomes a blonde-haired woman for seasons 3-5, during which time her senility seems to advance notably, as she's even dumber than the original Holly. During seasons 6 and 7, Holly is lost when Red Dwarf is stolen, whilst in seasons 10-12, he's been shorted out and doesn't interact with anyone.

'''Krystine Kochanski:''' The original Krystine Kochanski was a navigation officer aboard Red Dwarf; another British "lower class" girl who'd made something of herself by applying to Red Dwarf, whom Lister pined after from afar. Later it was retconned that she was an ex-girlfriend Lister wished to somehow gain back, because the writers thought that having him fixated on a girl who he never even asked out was too pathetic. During the events of season 7, a Krystine from a parallel dimension where ''she'' was Red Dwarf's lone survivor accidentally stumbles through a rift in dimensions and is inadvertently trapped on Starbug with the Boyz - much to her disgust. She stuck around for seasons 7 and 8, and then the movie "Back to Earth" established that she ran away to find a way back to her own dimension during the events of "the missing season 9", leaving Lister to think she was dead. This parallel Krystine is much more uppercrust and refined than her counterpart, but the two are treated as all but identical, since strong continuity isn't one of Red Dwarf's strongest points.

'''Ace Rimmer:''' A version of Rimmer from an alternate timeline where he actually managed to get over all his neuroses. "Ace" Rimmer is a brave and heroic starship pilot who was given the opportunity to test a ship capable of travelling between dimensions. The first dimension he travelled to was the prime Red Dwarf timeline, where he quickly befriended the crew and earned the resentment and envy of prime Rimmer. A later episode revealed that he became an interdimensional hero, who upon his death would be succeeded by another timelines' Rimmer. This was used to write Rimmer out of the show for Season 7, as the duty now fell on him to become the new Ace (even though he is likely the worst of all possible Rimmers). One of the series' most memorable characters, even if he only appeared in three episodes.

==TV vs. Novels==
Unlike many other universes that started as books and were turned into TV shows, Red Dwarf started as a TV show and was turned into a book series. The show's creators wrote two books, roughly adapting plots from the first couple of seasons of the show; "Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers" and "Better Than Life", but they eventually got into a creative dispute and split up, resulting in two different books that each portray their own spin on the "third book in the series" position - "Backwards" by Rob Grant and "Last Human" by Doug Naylor.

Because the books can go into details that the TV show couldn't, they showcase a more serious and [[grimdark]] depiction of the Red Dwarf multiverse. For example of the serious: in the show, Lister getting caught out over his cat seemed like a mixture of bad luck and stupidity; in the novels, it's a deliberate plan on Lister's behalf due to his expanded backstory - he got stranded on Mimas (one of Saturn's moons) after getting '''incredibly''' fucking drunk on a birthday pubcrawl in Liverpool and he only joined up with the Red Dwarf to try and get back to Earth for free; then he learned that it would take years before the ship would get there again, and he'd be required to work with Rimmer all that time, so he came up with a plan to get put into stasis so he could skip all that and just finally get home. For an example of the grimdark: Lister's first encounter with Rimmer's hologram recreation isn't until ''after'' the experience of being stuck all alone aboard ship with nobody to talk to or interact with causes him to fall into a deep drunken depression.

Of note is the fact in the novels that Lister finally gets back to Earth... [[Grimdark|Only to discover that mankind turned the entire planet into a colossal garbage dump inhabited by giant cockroaches, and its implied the planet itself has developed a sentience that hates humanity for ruining it]].

==A Bleak, Hostile Universe==
Stranded 3 million years in the depths of space, it is made clear from the start that Lister's mission of rediscovering the fate of humanity is probably hopeless. The series creators even pitched it to the BBC by claiming that they wouldn't be featuring any (expensive) aliens, unlike [[Star Trek]] or [[Doctor Who]]. This lasted for... maybe a season or two before they realized that "stock British sitcom of some assholes being assholes to each other, but in space" could only go so far, and they decided they needed to start bringing in some proper sciencey weirdness to play their oddball heroes off of. So, they decided to break the spirit of their promise whilst keeping to the letter of it.

During the 3 million years that Red Dwarf was careening wildly into the depths of space, humanity advanced to incredible measures in technology. Artificial intelligence, cybernetics, genetics, time travel, faster-than-light travel, psionics, dimension travel, and other impossible technologies were all born during that time period... and promptly left scattered around the universe like a garbage heap full of landmines. Which, depending on how you look at it, is a nice meta-reflection of British pessimism about space travel and their own space program's history of ineptitude (in the time span in which America sent several manned ships to the moon and back, Britain sent a glorified remote-control car to Mars... and crashed it). Lister and his buddies constantly stumble across these remnants of humanity's achievements, and it usually goes terribly wrong for them.

It also means that the universe isn't entirely uninhabited. But there's no alien civilizations. Instead, the nascent spacefaring races, little more than glorified techno-barbarian tribes on the galactic scale, are humanity's long-abandoned, half-mad bastard children; Mechanoids, Synths, and GELFs.

Mechanoids are the Red Dwarf version of [[robot]]s - specifically, [[android]]s. Distant descendants of the Skutters, they're humanoid machines created to serve humanity, and then left to fend for themselves when humanity up and vanished. Since crewmember Kryten is a Mechanoid, they rarely show up.

Synths (short for "Synthetics"), on the other hand, ''do'' show up a fair amount... much to everyone's regret. Synths were combat mechanoids humanity created for a war that ultimately never happened; when they tried to scrap their creations, the Synths fought back and managed to flee into the depths of space, from which they have brooded with seething hatred for their creators ever since.

GELFs (Genetically Engineered Life Forms) are any of a myriad of weird alien-like bio-engineered or mutated creatures that humanity produced. The primary ones to show up of relevance are the Kinatawowi, a savage, tribal, [[Sasquatch]]-like race of hairy humanoid things who seem to exist mostly to be a parody of Wookies.

==Okay, but is it any good?==
Red Dwarf is a cult classic for many reasons, the first of which is that it's one of the most unique sci-fi shows out there. When the show finally finds its legs, it's got some of the most fun, interesting and clever uses of sci-fi tropes and world-building that can be seen in sci-fi television. The comedic nature of the show means it's tonally justified in being goofy and weird, but it still plays by its own internal logic, for the most part, taking its concept and running with it. It's a space comedy, but when it comes to the science fiction elements it doesn't lose out. The show can hold its own, up there with the likes of Star Trek, Farscape and other deep space romps...

...however...

The show itself was plagued with difficulties. For one, the BBC has, historically, never been very good at handling its science fiction shows (just look at vintage Dr. Who). This meant that the creators and actors felt pretty ostracised by the network and, despite their critical and commercial success, they never really received any recognition from the station.

This, along with a fair share of creative disputes and many, sometimes decade-long, hiatuses, lead to the show changing styles and production elements pretty much season to season. [[skub|This has lead to great debate within the community over which seasons are considered "good" or even "worthwhile".]]

For the sake of neutrality, this section will not pass judgement on the quality of each respective season, but instead provide a guide to the "eras" of the TV show. These Eras are; seasons 1&2, a Douglas-Adams-style absurdist sitcom; seasons 3-7 which are more of a space comedy (season 7 veers into comedy-drama, though); season 8, which is a sitcom again, but now with a plot-line; season 9, a three-part meta-textual blade runner parody (actually pretty [[skub]]); seasons 10-12, a return to the original space comedy formula of "classic Dwarf"; and season 13, which is not a season, but a feature length TV movie.

tl;dr: Yes. Red Dwarf is good. Now go watch it, smegger!

==/tg/ Relevance==
Aside from being [[Approved Television]] for anyone with a love of sci-fi and comedy, especially fans of the earlier, more comical forms of [[Warhammer 40,000]] or [[Rogue Trader]], Red Dwarf has its own licensed roleplaying game; [[Red Dwarf - The RPG]].

[[Category: Television]]

Kruleboyz Orruks

2021-05-30T08:13:12Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{AoS-Stub}}

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Kruleboyz|Logo=|Alliance=Destruction|Motto=}}

'''Kruleboyz''' are a sub-faction/sub-species of Orruk native to the many swamps and marshes of the Mortal Realms, particularly Ghur. These lean and lanky gits prioritize Mork over Gork, leading to an extremely cunning and cruel natured society, hence the name.

Unlike their Bonesplitterz and Ironjawz cousins, the Kruleboyz actively utilize Grots in their forces, making them the closest thing to the oldschool Orcs and Goblins combined army.

==Da Forces of Da Kruleboyz==
*'''Killaboss''': The leaders of the Kruleboyz Warclans, who are just as eager to shove a poisoned dagger into a rival as they are to lob off their head in a fight. They’re often followed by little guys called Stab Grots, “brave” minions who help their boss fight off enemies or serve as a nice meat shield. The most ambitious (or crazy) Killabosses will take large bog-hounds called Great Gnashtoofs and use them as relentless mounts.
*'''Breaka-boss''': Residing in an unspecified part of the Kruleboyz leadership, these domineering Orruks ride into battle atop Mirebrute Troggoths and goad then into rampaging through enemy lines.
*'''Swampcalla Shaman''': Considered to be disgusting even to the other Kruleboyz, these Shamans channel the copious gunk and poisons of their marsh homelands into vile magic to fling at enemies. They are always accompanied by a cauldron laden Pot Grot who helps the Shaman brew his potent spells.
*'''Murknob''': Lieutenants and underbosses to the Killaboss. They usually carry around enchanted Belcha-Banners that repel enemy wizards and cover the area in a swampy fog.
*'''Man-Skewer Boltboyz''': A step up from the Arrer-Boy of old, these Orruks would poison coated crossbows designed to pierce through armor and shish-kabob any unfortunate soul in the line of fire.
*'''Beast-Skewer Killbow''': The artillery version of the Man-Skewers, and the AoS take on the Spear Chukka.
*'''Gutrippaz''': The foot soldiers of the Kruleboyz Warclans, equipped with jagged poisonous spears and leer faced shields.
*'''Hobgrot Slittaz''': Hobgoblins are back! Stated as diminutive allies rather than actually a part of the Orruk fold, these yellow skinned backstabbers use crudely made stick grenades to blow apart enemy formations.

==Warclans==

{{Template:Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Orruk Warclans]]

Age of Sigmar/Tactics/Death/Soulblight Gravelords

2021-05-17T04:46:26Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B: troggoths have 4 wounds

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Soulblight Gravelords|Logo=Gravelords.png|Alliance=Death|Motto= I HAVE COME TO SUCK YOUR BANK ACCOUNT!!!!}}
'''UNDER CONSTRUCTION'''
Darkness falls across the land and the midnight hour is close at hand. Time to make the Mortal Realms to remember the Vampire Counts of old with their successors, the Soulblight Gravelords.

==Overview==
==Why Play Soulblight==
===Pros===
===Cons===
==Allegiance Abilities==
===Battle Traits===
*'''The Unquiet Dead''': Like Legions of Nagash before us, you get to place four gravesites; two in your deployment area, and two outside that must be more than 1" from terrain or objectives. One of your {{AOSKeyword|Summonable}} units for every unit that you regularly deploy can be set up in reserve and pop in within a foot of one of these, so long as there are no enemies within 9". These gravesites also act as focuses for some of your other traits.
*'''Deathless Minions''': The Gravelord version of the classic 6+ death save after save affects all units wholly within 12" of both their heroes and gravesites. If a gravesite is near enough an objective, you can skip a babysitter hero for your backline campers with a little less worry.
*'''[[Recursion|Endless Legions]]''': This lets you respawn your destroyed zombie or skeleton units with the {{AOSKeyword|Summonable}} keyword wholly within 12" of one of your gravesites at the end of your battleshock on a 5+ die roll, with a +1 for each enemy unit you destroyed earlier that turn. They only come back at half strength and must be placed at least 9" from enemies as well, but you're not spending a command point like Legions of Nagash used too.
*'''Locus of Shyish''': Death armies lean heavily into magic, and Gravelords get to resolve their lore spells (NOT their warscroll spells, arcane bolt or mystic shield) twice if they get an unmodified 9+ on their cast roll, provided it's not unbound.
*'''Reanimated Horrors''': Non-death models within 6" of your {{AOSKeyword|Deathrattle}} or {{AOSKeyword|Deadwalker}} units get a -1 to their bravery, or -2 if they are within 6" of two or more of them. Begs the question on how a giant undead bat with 'terror' in its name is less frightening, but can turn the tide if leveraged properly, especially as the second level can easily be satisfied with a support unit like a corpse cart or Wight king that wants to stick tight to some of those guys anyhow.
*'''Deathly Invocation''': Peeled out of the various warscrolls, heroes can heal a number of {{AOSKeyword|summonable}} units within 12" of d3 wounds/equivalent models. The Mortarchs get four units, vampires can do three, while wights and necromancers can top off two. Unfortunately, a unit can only benefit from this once per turn, and can't get the healing if they were already healed by Nagash's beefed up version of this ability in the same turn.

===Bloodlines===
There's five subfactions for soulblight each with a full complement of relics and command traits, and all of them have access to at least one special character.

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">

====Legion of Blood====
Regal and lethal, these schemers are the all around sub faction, though their specialty lies with the Deathrattle.

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">

=====Traits=====
*'''Immortal Majesty''': D3 additonal models flee if they fail a battleshock test within 3" of any {{AOSKeyword|Legion of Blood Vampire}} units.

*'''Favoured Retainers''': Ignore negative modifiers to hit and wound rolls for {{AOSKeyword|Legion of Blood Deathrattle}} while wholly within 12" of {{AOSKeyword|Legion of Blood Vampire}} or 18" of the general.

======Command Traits======
*'''Premeditated Violence''': Unmodified hit rolls of 6 are 2 hits.

*'''Soul-crushing Contempt''': -1 brave within 3. Synergy with their battle trait, but probably still bad.

*'''Aristocracy of Blood''': 12" reroll charge aura. This is good.

*'''Aura of Dark Majesty''': Subtract 1 from hit rolls targeting the general in melee. Solid choice.

*'''walking Death''': If an unmodified wound roll is a 6 for the general, that wound does mortals equal to the damage of the weapon used. Could be good on the Vengorian Lord.

*'''Sanguine Blur''': +3" of pile in while wholly within 12 of the general. Doesn't let a unit fight from further away, but +3 pile in is great just in general, and who doesn't want 9" pile in zombies?

======Artifacs======
*'''Ring of Dominion''': When you fight, pick one model within 3" and roll a dice, on a 5+ you do mortals equal to the weapons damage. You can't pick any weapon that charts or has a see below rule.

*'''Shadeglass Decanter''': After set up, but before first round, pick a hero. If that hero and the bearer are on the battlefield at the start of your hero phase you roll a dice. If it's equal to or greater than the current battle round, the hero takes a mortal. This is hilarious.

*'''Orb of Enchantment''': Once per battle, pick one enemy hero within 3 and roll a dice. On a 3+ that hero can't fight this phase. This is random, once per game, and insanely power. None of those things make for a good artifact of power to pick.

*'''Soulbound Garments''': You're wearing a player character's clothing for some reason, this gives you +1 to save rolls. Nice.

*'''Oubliette Arcana''': Once per enemy hero phase, when they cast a spell and it's not unbound, you can roll a dice. On a 5+ it's unbound. Extra unbinding is always good.

*'''Amulet of Screams''': Once per game when an enemy casts a spell that isn't unbound you can deal d3 mortal wound to them. Trash.

</div></div>

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">

====Legion of Night====
Description
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">

=====Traits=====
*'''The Bait''': +1 to save rolls on the first turn for {{AOSKeyword|Deathrattle}} and {{AOSKeyword|Deadwalker}} units. Since these are likely the first to move into the line of fire, you'll be needing that boost to defense.

*'''Ageless Cunning''': You can set up one unit in reserve for every unit you have placed on the board and bring them in with ambush 6" from a board edge outside of 9" from enemy units at the end of your movement phase. At the start of round 4, units still in reserve are destroyed.

======Command Traits======
*'''Above Suspicion''': Deep strike the general from outflank onto the board anywhere on the battlefield at the end of your movement fase. (Outside of 9 from enemy units like normal)

*'''Swift Form''': 2+ Movement. Good if you’re using the footslogger Vampire for some reason.

*'''Unbending Will''': No battleshock wholly within 12 of the general.

*'''Merciless Hunter''': +1 to wound rolls for general in melee.

*'''Unholy Impetus''': If the general slays an enemy model in close combat, one friendly unit wholly within 12" gets +1 attack on all their melee weapons until the end of the phase. Changed to wholly within 12 instead of 3, probably your best choice.

*'''Terrifying Visage''': Subtract 1 from wound rolls against the general in melee.

=====Artifacts=====

</div></div>

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">

====Kastelai====
Kastelai are the entourage of Prince Vhordrai in the magically teleporting crimson keep, and seem to be the replacement for the old blood dragons, and similarly lean into blood knights, who they get as battleline.

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">

=====Traits=====
*'''The Shifting Keep''': Kastelai Blood Knights up to half your unit count can be placed in reserve instead of on the battlefield, and be setup within 6" of any table edge and more than 9" from enemies at the end of your movement phase. The pretty standard rider of them being destroyed if not place by round four also applies.
*'''Might of the Crimson Keep''': {{AOSKeyword|Vampire}} keyword units gain a characteristic bonus when they destroy units; +1 damage to non-mount melee weapons if it was a {{AOSKeyword|Hero}}/{{AOSKeyword|Monster}}, +1 to it's wounds if it had 3+ wounds, or +2" to run and charge for everything else.
=====Command Traits=====
*'''Beacon of Bloodshed''': After the general charges you do d3 mortals on a 3+ to one unit. Trash.

*'''Master of Retaliation''': At the end of the combat phase if this model was wounded and not slain, you pick a unit within 1" and do d3 mortals on a 2+. Trash.

*'''Power in the Blood''': If an enemy is destroyed within 6" of this model he also gets Might of the Crimson Keep even if he didn't kill them. This is bonkers, and will probably be the go to choice.

*'''Rousing Commander''': Once per game at the start of combat you can give all {{AOSKeyword|Kastelai Dynasty Vampire}} units the Bloodied Strength and Stolen Vitality abilities for that phase, if they didn't already have them. This is honestly one of the strongest single turn effects in the game, and might actually get chosen.

*'''Swift and Deadly''': Reroll charges while within 12" of the general. Always a good buff.

*'''A Craving for Massacre''': Run and charge on the general. Good for getting in there fast, but probably not worth it.

=====Artifacts=====
*'''Sword of the Red Seneschals''': If an enemy model is slain by the bearer's melee weapon, add +1 to wound roll attacks made by a friendly unit wholly within 12" of the bearer until the end of the phase.
*'''Bloodsaint's Shield''': Enemy Wizards within 6" of the bearer subtract -1 from casting rolls.
*'''Standard of the Crimson Keep''': Missile weapons shot at the bearer subtract -1 from hit rolls.
*'''Shard of Grave-Sand''': At the start of the hero phase, the bearer crushes the Shard and adds +1 to Deathless Minions rolls for friendly units wholly within 12". Once per game.
*'''Fragment of the Keep''': Enemy units within 6" of the bearer subtract -1 from wound rolls.
*'''The Red Casket''': At the start of your charge phase, you can add +3 to your charge rolls. Once per game.

</div></div>

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">

====Avengorii====

Monstrous looking vampire-centaurs that only feed on the blood of great beasts. They get battleline zombie dragons and terrorgheist and appropriately have a heavy lean to these monsters.

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">

=====Traits=====
*'''Cursed Abominations''': {{AOSKeyword|Terrorghiests}} and {{AOSKeyword|Zombie Dragons}} get to have a mutation. You get 1 per army, and 1 more per battalion you take.

*'''Monstrous Might''': Subtract 1 from wound rolls against your monsters in melee unless the opponent is also a monster. This should help keep your big guys alive for a little longer than normal.

*'''Unstoppable Nightmares''': In the combat phase you can pick one of your monsters to fight at the top bracket. Each monster can only do this once per battle, so having a bunch of monsters is going to be good.

=====Command Traits=====
*'''An Eye for An Eye''': +1 damage until the end of the phase if this model is damaged. Really solid on the Vengorian Lord.

*'''Master of Retaliation''': At the start of the combat phase roll a dice for every enemy unit within 3 of the general. 5+ you take a mortal wound, and can only attack this general in that phase after the general has already fought this phase. This is...weird. It protects you from attacking until you attack, so it makes you want to have him in with a unit to soak damage.

*'''Unhinged Rampager''': Reroll charges for the general. Boring but useful.

=====Artifacts=====

=====Cursed Mutations=====

</div></div>

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">

====Vyrkos====

desc

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">

=====Traits=====

=====Command Traits=====

=====Artifacts=====

</div></div>

===Spell Lores===

There are two spell lores to pick from, one for your necromancers and the two Mortarchs, and one for your vampires, with Nagash getting all of them. There is also an additional spell, Invigorating Aura, that ALL your wizards get for free, and may be cast by any number of spell casters in a turn.

* '''Invigorating Aura:''' Casting Value 8. Pick 1 summonable unit wholly within 18" of the caster. You can heal up to 3 wounds, or return slain models that have a combined wounds characteristic of 3 or less to it. Add +1 to the casting roll for each hero on the battlefield. No unit can benefit from this more than once per turn. Even more healing options is always welcome, especially with deathly invocation only being used once per turn per unit now.

====Lore of Vampires====

* '''Blades of Shyish:''' Casting Value 5. Roll a dice for each enemy unit within 12" of the caster. On a 3+ that unit suffers a mortal wound.

* '''Spirit Gale:''' Casting Value 5. Pick 1 enemy unit wholly within 18" and roll 2D6. If the roll is greater than that unit's bravery, that unit suffers a number of mortal wounds equal to the difference between the unit's bravery and the 2D6 number rolled.

* '''Soulpike:''' Casting Value 6. Pick a unit wholly within 18". If that unit tries to charge, roll a number of dice equal to the charge value. For each 4+ the unit suffers a mortal wound.

* '''Amethystine Pinions:''' Casting Value 5. Add +6" to the caster's Move characteristic. Does not stack with Locus of Shyish.

* '''Vile Transference:''' Casting Value 4. Pick an enemy unit within 6". Roll a number of dice equal to half the unit's wounds. For each 6, you heal 1 wound.

* '''Amaranthine Orb:''' Casting Value 6. Pick a point within 9" of the caster, and draw an "imaginary straight line" from the point to the caster. Roll a dice for each unit the line passes by, and on a 2+ that unit suffers D3 mortal wounds. Does not work on Death units so feel free to draw a line over your own units. Sub optimal for mirror matches.

====Lore of Deathmages====
*
*
*
*
*
*

==Warscrolls==

===Leaders===
*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Vampire_Lord.pdf Vampire Lord]''': The average vampire is pretty potent for a warrior with flight, a modest weapon with -1 Rend and the ability to heal d3 wounds whenever it kills an enemy model in combat - meaning that you might actually be able to hang on even if you just kill a few models in a mob each turn. It's also a wizard with a command ability that gives one summonable unit extra attacks, which you'll need because those goons are going to go down quickly.

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Vampire_Lord_OnZombieDragon.pdf Vampire Lord on Zombie Dragon]''':

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Coven_Throne.pdf Coven Throne]''':

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Bloodseeker_Palanquin_2021.pdf Bloodseeker Palanquin]''':

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Vengorian_Lord.pdf Vengorian Lord]''':

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Wight_King.pdf Wight King]''': The pure beatstick of the heroes. While the weapon's about as effective as the vampire's, though the wight king also deals a mortal wound on a nat 6 to hit. His command ability's specifically made for skellies, making a {{AOSKeyword|Deathrattle}} unit within 12" re-roll 1s to hit in melee. If you're planning to focus more on the bone-boys, then you'll be just well-served by this guy as you would with a vampire.

*'''Wight King on Skeletal Steed''': For 15 more points than the footsloger, you get +2 wounds and triple your movement, and swap out the chance at mortal wounds on 6's for more reliably causing them on the charge.

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Necromancer.pdf Necromancer]''': A wizard clad in tatters. Then again, why would he need anymore when he can just have some nearby summonable units soak up the wounds for him. Indeed, he does need them around because aside from summoning them and using them as meatshields, he can also cast a unique spell that can let them fight again, a stark upgrade from the vampire lord's command ability and only casts on a 6+.
====Named Characters====
Nagash and Soulblight named characters with a dynasty (save the Cursed City characters) all have a special rule that allows them to be treated as general in addition to the one that you choose in an army of their dynasty (or any of them for Nagash). You can use this to your advantage if you want to utilize the generic command abilities, or in certain battle plans.
*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Nagash.pdf Nagash]''': The supreme lord of the undead has increased in points cost yet again, now a whopping 975. He gets access to all 13 spells in the book in addition to his own, giving him a good versatile selection for him to use, and gives him more flexibility than casters who must select their spell. Beyond that he's largely the same as he always has been, but keep an eye out to which Dynasty that you play him with, as several of their traits are tied to the '''Vampire''' keyword and he will not benefit/proc benefits.

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Neferata.pdf Neferata, Mortarch of Blood]'''('''Legion of Blood'''):

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Mannfred_von_Carstein.pdf Mannfred Von Carstein, Mortarch of Night]''' ('''Legion of Night'''):

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Prince_Vhordrai_2021.pdf Prince Vhordrai]'''('''Kastelai'''):

*Belladamma Volga, First of the Vyrkos ('''Vyrkos'''):

*Radukar, The Wolf ('''Vyrkos''', if you happen to have Cursed City):

*Radukar, The Beast ('''Vyrkos'''):

*Kritza, The Rat Prince ('''Vyrkos'''): Largely a cheaper Vampire Lord, Kritza trades off a point of armour for an extra wound, and swaps spellcasting for a -1 th hit in melee against him and a rather impressive ability to, when slain, be set up again elsewhere on a 4+ role, making him relatively resilient despite also lacking 'The Hunger'.

*Annika, The Thirsting Blade ('''Vyrkos'''): Another lord equivalent, Annika also swaps armor for wound, and her spellcasting for 4+ wound negation and completely healing all wounds when she slays a model instead of d3.

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Lauka_Vai.pdf Lauka Vai, The Mother of Nightmares]''' ('''Avengorii'''):

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Prince_Duvalle.pdf Prince Duvalle] & [https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_The_Crimson_Court.pdf The Crimson Court]''':

===Battleline===
*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Deathrattle_Skeletons.pdf Deathrattle Skeletons]''': {{AOSKeyword|Summonable}}. Renamed and remodeled skeletons with mediocre weapons with no rend. Rather than the utterly pointless 6+ saves of old, they come with a 5+, and the ability to re-roll 1s on their Deathless Legion's checks. Also helping bolster their numbers is the ability to resurrect models slain during the fight phase. Granted, this means nothing for skellies shot down by arrows or artillery, but it can make them more of a nuisance once they're stuck in.

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Deadwalker_Zombies.pdf Deadwalker Zombies]''': {{AOSKeyword|Summonable}}. The real disposable fodder, not even getting a save. Fortunately, they have a much larger range to get stuck in and consolidate an additional 3", so they can get stuck in pretty quickly. Also helpful is that they can rise up again from the fight phase very easily on a 2+. They can deal a mortal wound if they roll a nat 6 to hit, and that will help if the enemy in question lacks any sort of protection. However, considering how much of a joke they are in combat, don't expect them to kill much.

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/aos-warscroll-dire-wolves-en.pdf Dire Wolves]''':

===Behemoth===
*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Terrorgheist.pdf Terrorgheist'''](Battleline in '''Avengorii'''):

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Zombie_Dragon.pdf Zombie Dragon'''](Battleline in '''Avengorii'''):

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Mortis_Engine.pdf Mortis Engine]''':

===Other===

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Grave-Guard.pdf Grave Guard]''': {{AOSKeyword|Summonable}}. Essentially tougher skeletons with a full command group that enables them to charge at full range. While they can't reinforce themselves in combat, they have the option between either a sword and shield (giving them a 4+ save) or a big sword, and both weapons deal mortal wounds on a 6+. Since they're still summonable, you can make them a bit more reliable as a bunker against archers.

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_The_Sepulchral_Guard.pdf The Sepulchral Guard]''': The Shadespire warband. Though you have plenty of models, you're not going to get much out of them since most of the weapons lack any form of Rend and even a nat 6 to hit just deals an additional hit. Really, they're just a more easily maintained pack of skeletons that can't be summoned. As long as the leader remains, he can raise d3 of his boys each hero phase.

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Black_Knights.pdf Black Knights]''': (Battleline in '''Legion of Blood''') {{AOSKeyword|Summonable}}. Your skeletal cavalry, equipped with a full command group and 0 rend weapons. Fortunately, they can deal mortal wounds on the charge, which is what they'll rely on to make the most out of their attacks.

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Corpse_Cart.pdf Corpse Cart with Unholy Lodestone]''': A mobile support unit for your necromancers and goons. All of your wizards add +1 to their casting rolls for being within 12" of this cart, which you'll need because your army depends on those spells. Your zombies also pick up a 6+ save for being within 12" of the cart, the which you'll probably not be needing.

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Corpse_Cart_Balefire_Brazier.pdf Corpse Cart with Balefire Braizer]''': While the Unholy Lodestone makes the cart into a support unit, this is more of a debuff unit. Enemy wizards suffer a -1 to casting for being within 18" of this fiend, and enemies within 9" of this cart suffer -1 to wound in melee - not much against dedicated bruisers, but it can be annoying for otherwise normal foot soldiers like Freeguild.

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Fell_Bats.pdf Fell Bats]''': {{AOSKeyword|Summonable}}. Roving irritants and screens. They're about as flimsy as zombies with their only redeeming factor being their mobility. Not only can they fly, but they can also retreat and charge at the same turn, making them annoying to catch in a crowded space.

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Vargheists.pdf Vargheists]''' (Battleline in '''Legion of Night''') Some furious monsters that come with -1 Rend so they can at least rip through armor and focus more upon overwhelming enemies with their swings. However, they're glass cannons with only a 5+ save to protect them. Fortunately, you can throw them in reserves and then drop them at a later turn, primed and ready to lash out at whatever they come across.

*'''[https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/Eng_Blood_Knights.pdf Blood Knights]''' (Battleline in '''Kastelai Dynasty'''): The moment we've all been waiting for; Blood Knights, bane of The world-that-was, are reborn in fabulous plastic! Some of the most iconic heavy calvary since Bretonnia got squatted, these guys are both tough and hard hitting, with a 3+ save, 3 wounds and vampire kill/regen, accompanied by quality 3/3+/3+/-1/1 attacks that gets +1 damage on the charge, (along with their mounts trampling, but those rarely amount to much in the long run). They can also go over units in their movement phase, if they start within 3" of one and only over those with 3 or less wounds and without mounts (so for example, Orruk Brutes are game but Kavalos Deathriders aren't) and deal d3 mortal wounds on a 2+ if they do. They are expensive, but worth investing in if you need a good hammer. Special mention should go to Kastelai Blood Knights, who can outflank if set up in reserves.

==Battalions==
==Army Building==
Given its contents, and depending on the bloodlines that you are going to play, Start Collecting! Flesh-Eater Counts is once again one of the best products [[GeeDubs]] has to offer. Get as many as you need or want for you Battleline Zombie Dragons, Terrorgheists or Vhargheists. While you can't use the ghouls, they have the same base size as zombies, and look zombie-ish...

At the moment of writing this, if you local store still has a Start Collecting! Skeleton Horde, or an even rarer Battleforce with them, you can grab them and get you Mortarch of choice (except Arkhan, who is MIA in the lore and not part of the army roster) while getting extra Black Knights and Skellies, who also happen to be Battleline choices.

==Allies==
*'''Drogg Fort-Kicka''': The Mega-Gargant allocated as an ally for '''DEATH''' armies, he's a big smashy monster with the extra ability to deal out some easy mortal wounds to a bigger unit, and most importantly, the ability to destroy terrain. This includes faction terrain, so send him after that lumineth waterfall and the wizard sitting on it, the priest standing on an altar of blood, or knock a ghoul king off his throne.
*'''Nighthaunt''': Sadly, since they rely on 'summonable', and most of your abilities are specifically SOULBLIGHT summonable...not actually a good deal. Still, they have some very nice units...
*'''Flesh Eater Courts''': You share units, they have some nice ghouls that in a pinch can 'counts as' zombies, and they have a powerful wizard AND a spell that buffs the heck out of them? A very nice choice.

==Tactics==

{{Age_of_Sigmar_Tactics}}

Lauka Vai, the Mother of Nightmares

2021-05-15T21:28:00Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

[[File:Lauka Vai, Mother of Nightmares.png|thumb|I don't know what the fuck that thing is, but I want it.]]
'''Lauka Vai''', the Mother of Nightmares, is the leader of the Avengorii dynasty of [[Soulblight Gravelords|Soulblight]] vampires. Her main schtick is that she [[Blood Angels|is a bloodthirsty monster desperately trying to conceal her bloodlust behind a thinly veiled pretense of honor and nobility.]]

Lauka was originally the leader of the Askurga Renkai, an order of Blood Knights who refused to prey on those weaker than themselves. However, in a battle against a Tzeentch sorcerer she was mutated into a horrific monstrosity, becoming the first of the Vengorian Lords. Believing her to be corrupt, the Askurga Renkai turned on her, forcing her to kill them in self-defence.

Disgusted by what she became, Lauka Vai exiled herself into the wilderness of [[Ghur]], where she fought monstrous beasts and warlords by herself. If civillians saw her she usually fled, but sometimes she could not control her bloodlust and commited atrocities that would haunt her when she returned to lucidity. Eventually she'd be discovered by the Avengorii dynasty, a bloodline of vampires that willingly embraced ther own monstrosity and viewed mutating into a Vengorian or Vargheist as an honor. The Avengorii revered her as a paragon of their kind, and although their savagery offended her code of honor she agreed to become their leader, knowing that this was the first companionship she could find in a long time.

Even as the leader of a bloodline of abominations Lauka Vai still attempts to keep to her code of honour, refusing to prey upon the defenceless and focusing instead on fighting the forces of Chaos and Destruction. She even fought against the forces of the [[Ossiarch Bonereapers]] for a time, believing their bone-tithing of civillians instead of hunting the monsters of Ghur was a cowardly disgrace to the forces of Death. Yet every time she falls into her bloodlust, it becomes more difficult to return to sanity. If she ever reaches a point where her mind breaks entirely, a grim fate will be released on the denizens of Ghur...

Incidentally, her dynasty really likes big scary monsters ([[Awesome|and really, who can blame them]]), to the point of being able to take [[Terrorgheist|Terrorgheists]] and [[Zombie Dragon|Zombie Dragons]] [[Awesome|as battleline]]! She does have her very own [[Black Library|book]] on the way, in which a free city makes a deal with her to stave off a [[Chaos]] invasion. [[Warhammer Quest: Cursed City|Where have I seen this before?]]

{{Template:Soulblight Gravelords Characters}}

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]] [[Category:Soulblight Gravelords]]

Lauka Vai, the Mother of Nightmares

2021-05-15T21:27:08Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B: lore from the battletome

[[File:Lauka Vai, Mother of Nightmares.png|thumb|I don't know what the fuck that thing is, but I want it.]]
'''Lauka Vai''', the Mother of Nightmares, is the leader of the Avengorii dynasty of [[Soulblight Gravelords|Soulblight]] vampires. Her main schtick is that she [[Blood Angels|is a bloodthirsty monster desperately trying to conceal her bloodlust behind a thinly veiled pretense of honor and nobility.]]

Lauka was originally the leader of the Askurga Renkai, an order of Blood Knights who refused to prey on those weaker than themselves. However, in a battle against a Tzeentch sorcerer she was mutated into a horrific monstrosity, becoming the first of the Vengorian Lords. Believing her to be corrupt, the Askurga Renkai turned on her, forcing her to kill them in self-defence.

Disgusted by what she became, Lauka Vai exiled herself into the wilderness of Ghur, where she fought monstrous beasts and warlords by herself. If civillians saw her she usually fled, but sometimes she could not control her bloodlust and commited atrocities that would haunt her when she returned to lucidity. Eventually she'd be discovered by the Avengorii dynasty, a bloodline of vampires that willingly embraced ther own monstrosity and viewed mutating into a Vengorian or Vargheist as an honor. The Avengorii revered her as a paragon of their kind, and although their savagery offended her code of honor she agreed to become their leader, knowing that this was the first companionship she could find in a long time.

Even as the leader of a bloodline of abominations Lauka Vai still attempts to keep to her code of honour, refusing to prey upon the defenceless and focusing instead on fighting the forces of Chaos and Destruction. She even fought against the forces of the [[Ossiarch Bonereapers]] for a time, believing their bone-tithing of civillians instead of hunting the monsters of Ghur was a cowardly disgrace to the forces of Death. Yet every time she falls into her bloodlust, it becomes more difficult to return to sanity. If she ever reaches a point where her mind breaks entirely, a grim fate will be released on the denizens of Ghur...

Incidentally, her dynasty really likes big scary monsters ([[Awesome|and really, who can blame them]]), to the point of being able to take [[Terrorgheist|Terrorgheists]] and [[Zombie Dragon|Zombie Dragons]] [[Awesome|as battleline]]! She does have her very own [[Black Library|book]] on the way, in which a free city makes a deal with her to stave off a [[Chaos]] invasion. [[Warhammer Quest: Cursed City|Where have I seen this before?]]

{{Template:Soulblight Gravelords Characters}}

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]] [[Category:Soulblight Gravelords]]

Soulblight Gravelords

2021-05-14T15:24:39Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Soulblight Gravelords|Logo=Gravelords.png|Alliance=Death|Motto= I HAVE COME TO SUCK YOUR BANK ACCOUNT!!!!}}
{{Topquote|We enjoy the night, the darkness, where we can do things that aren't acceptable in the light. Night is when we slake our thirst.|William Hill}}

The Soulblight Gravelords are the new, copyright friendly AoS interpretation of the [[Vampire Counts]]. Coming with updated models for Blood Knights, new skellies and zombies and tons more, it's finally time to show the Mortal Realms what goes bump in the night.

==The Five Dynasties==
*'''Legion of Night''': The old [[Von Carstein]] bloodline, led by (who else) Mannfred von Carstein. Arrogant glory-hogs who prefer to bog down enemies with waves of undead minions so the vampire commanders can swoop in for the killing blow.
*'''Legion of Blood''': The old [[Lahmian]] bloodline, led by (who else) Neferata. Cunning and alluring, they prefer the theatre of political intrigue and schemes, but are still very dangerous in combat thanks to their unnatural speed and grace.
*'''Kastelai''': Essentially the descendants to the [[Abhorash|Blood Dragons]]. A knightly order of vampires loyal to Prince Vhordrai, they follow their banished prince out from their “Crimson Keep” to slaughter and butcher all in their path.
*'''Avengorii''': Monstrous beast hunters from Ghur who are looked down upon by the other dynasties for their feral appearance and nature. Due to the shenanigans of Tzeentch, the entire bloodline bears the cursed half-vampire half-monster mutations of their matriarch. They will only drink the blood of great monsters they have killed. Roughly analogous to the Strigoi given their feral nature - the actual Strigoi broke off and [[Flesh-Eater Courts|started their own Death faction]] - and with a little bit of Blood Dragons thrown in, the Avengorii are still their own thing.
*'''Vyrkos''': A shamanistic like culture with ties to a lupine Godbeast as well as Nagash. Each of their number has wolf like mutations and has an affinity for controlling Direwolves.

==Notorious Vampires==
*'''[[Neferata]], Mortarch of Blood''': The original vampire and mistress of manipulation.
*'''[[Mannfred von Carstein]], Mortarch of Night''': The bald asshole who destroyed the Old World.
*'''[[Prince Vhordrai]]''': A Vampire Lord that tried/failed to overthrow Nagash, and got cursed to be bound to a magic castle that Nagash teleports near people he wants slaughtered, earning himself the (mocking) title of “Fist of Nagash”. Vhordrai and the Kastelai dynasty within his “Crimson Keep” only have a short time to feast upon mortal blood before the castle is once again flung into the Void, so they fight with a desperate level of savagery. The Prince also rides into battle aboard a Zombie Dragon called Shordemaire.
*'''[[Lauka Vai, the Mother of Nightmares]]''': Matriarch of the Avengorii dynasty and a terrifying mixture of bloodthirsty savagery and honorable knighthood. She originally was a noble monster hunter that garnered the respect of friend and foe alike, until a fateful encounter with the Disciples of Tzeentch horribly mutated her into the vampire-dragon-centaur beast that now defines her and her dynasty.
*'''[[Belladamma Volga, First of the Vyrkos]]''': Matriarch of the Vyrkos dynasty. An ancient vampire with an unmatched affinity for Direwolves. Has the ability to transform men into wolves, with her personal mount even rumored to be [[Furry|her former lover]].
*'''[[Radukar the Wolf]]''': The uncontested ruler of [[Warhammer Quest: Cursed City|Ulfenkarn]]. A large and brutal vampire lord with a fondness for pelts to match his werewolf-like mutations. As a mortal, he once plundered the coasts aboard his vessel the ''Impaler’s Gift'' and his Ogor crew, until he came upon the tomb of the vampiric emperor Morkan. Radukar slew and skinned the two headed wolf Vilnas that guarded the tomb and claimed an enchanted blade that lay inside, all to prove himself worthy of the Blood Kiss. Radukar’s raids became more violent and gruesome after his turn, culminating in his arrival at the city of Mournhold which he “saved” from daemonic invasion...only to take it as his own and rename it to Ulfenkarn. He was defeated by a ragtag group of adventurers, but not killed. His body is now twisted and mutated into a more feral form that is simply referred to as “the Beast”. Radukar the Beast is now roaming the wilds of Shyish in a relentless quest for revenge.
*'''[[Kritza, the Rat Prince]]''': Once a treacherous nobleman of Ulfenkarn, Kritza was brutally beaten by Radukar and left for dead. What no one realized was that Kritza was mistakingly given the Blood Kiss by his assailant and is now part of the Vrykos dynasty. Uniquely though, instead of controlling wolves, Kritza has influence over various kinds of rats (living and undead), and he can divide his body into a swarm of vermin to escape enemies. It is unknown how well this works on Skaven.
*'''[[Lady Annika, the Thirsting Blade]]''': Another vampiric noble from Ulfenkarn, Annika’s lust for blood is considered excessive even among other vampires. Her personal sword Proboscian is enchanted to instantly drain its victims of all bodily fluids. A slightly more famous Vampire lord of the world-that-was...*cough* Vlad von Carstein.*cough cough*... can confirm, this can really backfire.

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}
[[Category:Soulblight Gravelords]]

Kragnos

2021-05-10T22:00:14Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

[[File:Kragnos.jpg|300px|thumb|right|]]
==History==
Kragnos was born a mortal member of a so-far unnamed race of [[centaur]]s. He ascended to godhood through his many quests for power, among which he crafted the Dread Mace out of the heart of a mountain (which knowing all the living mountains that are in [[Ghur]] is probably literal) and claimed the legendary shield Tuskbreaker. The numerous races of Destruction quickly decided he was a pretty cool guy, and began worshipping him in addition to [[Gorkamorka (Deity)|Gorkamorka]] (aided by the fact that Gorkamorka himself developed a healthy respect for the guy after his shield broke one of his teeth). Eventually, Kragnos became too powerful and destructive for the forces of Order to tolerate, and thus he was sealed away in a mountain by an alliance of sorcerers lead by the legendary [[Lord Kroak]].

During the [[Broken Realms Saga|Broken Realms crisis]], Kragnos managed to escape his prison, only to discover his race had been wiped out entirely, thus presumably beginning a vengeance-fueled rampage.

==Tabletop==
Kragnos can be taken by any {{AOSKeyword|DESTRUCTION}} aligned army.

So far all we know about his rules is that he has a 2+ save, 18 wounds, deals mortal wounds on the charge, has an in-built magic resistance and buffs the bravery of all nearby {{AOSKeyword|DESTRUCTION}} units.

[[Category: Age of Sigmar]]

Kragnos

2021-05-10T21:58:46Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

[[File:Kragnos.jpg|200px|thumb|right|]]
==History==
Kragnos was born a mortal member of a so-far unnamed race of [[centaur]]s. He ascended to godhood through his many quests for power, among which he crafted the Dread Mace out of the heart of a mountain (which knowing all the living mountains that are in [[Ghur]] is probably literal) and claimed the legendary shield Tuskbreaker. The numerous races of Destruction quickly decided he was a pretty cool guy, and began worshipping him in addition to [[Gorkamorka (Deity)|Gorkamorka]] (aided by the fact that Gorkamorka himself developed a healthy respect for the guy after his shield broke one of his teeth). Eventually, Kragnos became too powerful and destructive for the forces of Order to tolerate, and thus he was sealed away in a mountain by an alliance of sorcerers lead by the legendary [[Lord Kroak]].

During the [[Broken Realms Saga|Broken Realms crisis]], Kragnos managed to escape his prison, only to discover his race had been wiped out entirely, thus presumably beginning a vengeance-fueled rampage.

==Tabletop==
Kragnos can be taken by any {{AOSKeyword|DESTRUCTION}} aligned army.

So far all we know about his rules is that he has a 2+ save, 18 wounds, deals mortal wounds on the charge, has an in-built magic resistance and buffs the bravery of all nearby {{AOSKeyword|DESTRUCTION}} units.

[[Category: Age of Sigmar]]

Kragnos

2021-05-10T21:58:27Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

[[File:Kragnos.jpg|200px|thumb|left|]]
==History==
Kragnos was born a mortal member of a so-far unnamed race of [[centaur]]s. He ascended to godhood through his many quests for power, among which he crafted the Dread Mace out of the heart of a mountain (which knowing all the living mountains that are in [[Ghur]] is probably literal) and claimed the legendary shield Tuskbreaker. The numerous races of Destruction quickly decided he was a pretty cool guy, and began worshipping him in addition to [[Gorkamorka (Deity)|Gorkamorka]] (aided by the fact that Gorkamorka himself developed a healthy respect for the guy after his shield broke one of his teeth). Eventually, Kragnos became too powerful and destructive for the forces of Order to tolerate, and thus he was sealed away in a mountain by an alliance of sorcerers lead by the legendary [[Lord Kroak]].

During the [[Broken Realms Saga|Broken Realms crisis]], Kragnos managed to escape his prison, only to discover his race had been wiped out entirely, thus presumably beginning a vengeance-fueled rampage.

==Tabletop==
Kragnos can be taken by any {{AOSKeyword|DESTRUCTION}} aligned army.

So far all we know about his rules is that he has a 2+ save, 18 wounds, deals mortal wounds on the charge, has an in-built magic resistance and buffs the bravery of all nearby {{AOSKeyword|DESTRUCTION}} units.

[[Category: Age of Sigmar]]

Soulblight Gravelords

2021-05-10T21:11:05Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Soulblight Gravelords|Logo=Gravelords.png|Alliance=Death|Motto= I HAVE COME TO SUCK YOUR BANK ACCOUNT!!!!}}
{{Topquote|We enjoy the night, the darkness, where we can do things that aren't acceptable in the light. Night is when we slake our thirst.|William Hill}}

The Soulblight Gravelords are the new, copyright friendly AoS interpretation of the [[Vampire Counts]]. Coming with updated models for Blood Knights, new skellies and zombies and tons more, it's finally time to show the Mortal Realms what goes bump in the night.

==The Five Dynasties==
*'''Legion of Night''': The old Von Carstein bloodline, led by (who else) Mannfred von Carstein.
*'''Legion of Blood''': The old Lahmian bloodline, led by (who else) Neferata.
*'''Kastelai''': A knightly order of vampires loyal to Prince Vhordrai. Essentially the descendants to the Blood Dragons.
*'''Avengorii''': Monstrous beast hunters from Ghur who are looked down upon by the other dynasties for their feral appearance and nature. They will only drink the blood of great monsters they have killed.
*'''Vyrkos''': A shamanistic like culture with ties to a lupine Godbeast as well as Nagash. Each of their number has wolf like mutations and has an affinity for controlling Direwolves.

==Notorious Vampires==
*'''[[Neferata]], Mortarch of Blood''': The original vampire and mistress of manipulation.
*'''[[Mannfred von Carstein]], Mortarch of Night''': The bald asshole who destroyed the Old World.
*'''[[Prince Vhordrai]]''': A Vampire Lord that tried/failed to overthrow Nagash, and got cursed to be bound to a magic castle that Nagash teleports near people he wants slaughtered, earning himself the (mocking) title of “Fist of Nagash”. Vhordrai and the Kastelai dynasty within his “Crimson Keep” only have a short time to feast upon mortal blood before the castle is once again flung into the Void, so they fight with a desperate level of savagery. The Prince also rides into battle aboard a Zombie Dragon called Shordemaire.
*'''[[Radukar the Wolf]]''': The uncontested ruler of [[Warhammer Quest: Cursed City|Ulfenkarn]]. A large and brutal vampire lord with a fondness for pelts to match his werewolf-like mutations. As a mortal, he once plundered the coasts aboard his vessel the ''Impaler’s Gift'' and his Ogor crew, until he came upon the tomb of the vampiric emperor Morkan. Radukar slew and skinned the two headed wolf Vilnas that guarded the tomb and claimed an enchanted blade that lay inside, all to prove himself worthy of the Blood Kiss. Radukar’s raids became more violent and gruesome after his turn, culminating in his arrival at the city of Mournhold which he “saved” from daemonic invasion...only to take it as his own and rename it to Ulfenkarn. He was defeated by a ragtag group of adventurers, but not killed. His body is now twisted and mutated into a more feral form that is simply referred to as “the Beast”. Radukar the Beast is now roaming the wilds of Shyish in a relentless quest for revenge.
*'''[[Kritza, the Rat Prince]]''': Once a treacherous nobleman of Ulfenkarn, Kritza was brutally beaten by Radukar and left for dead. What no one realized was that Kritza was mistakingly given the Blood Kiss by his assailant and is now part of the Vrykos dynasty. His unique mutation allows him control over various kinds of rats (living and undead), and he can divide his body into a swarm of vermin to escape enemies. It is unknown how well this works on Skaven.
*'''[[Lady Annika, the Thirsting Blade]]''': Another vampiric noble from Ulfenkarn, Annika’s lust for blood is considered excessive even among other vampires. Her personal sword Proboscian is enchanted to instantly drain its victims of all bodily fluids. A slightly more famous Vampire lord of the world-that-was...*cough* Vlad von Carstein.*cough cough*... can confirm, this can really backfire.
*'''[[Lauka Vai, the Mother of Nightmares]]''': Matriarch of the Avengorii dynasty and a terrifying mixture of bloodthirsty savagery and honorable knighthood. She originally was a noble monster hunter that garnered the respect of friend and foe alike, until a fateful encounter with the Disciples of Tzeentch horribly mutated her into the vampire-dragon-centaur beast that now defines her and her dynasty.
*'''[[Belladamma Volga, First of the Vyrkos]]''': Matriarch of the Vyrkos dynasty. An ancient vampire with an unmatched affinity for Direwolves.

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}
[[Category:Soulblight Gravelords]]

Beast Snagga

2021-05-08T09:18:57Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

'''Beast Snaggas''' are a type of Ork sub-kulture, akin to the [[Feral Orks]] equivalent of the [[Speed Freek]]s in terms of behaviour.

==Overview==
They are essentially a bunch of Ork mongolians who disdain vehicles and prefer riding on top of [[Squig]]s instead. They aim to hunt the largest creatures and machines, ranging from tanks and monsters to even Titans. They come predominantly from the [[Snakebites]] Clan, due to their appreciation for "da old wayz", and their disregard for more complex technology (although they don't go full Feral Ork, as seen by their widespread use of Cybork limbs due to squig-related injuries), although they can be found across the entire spectrum of Ork society.

Due to the fact they spend their entire lives living like Conan the Barbarian if he ate too much spinach, Beast Snaggas grow quite big and ''thicc''. Though not on the same scale as a [[Nob]], it is still noticable by Ork standards. Beast Snaggas [[Gretchin]] are affectionately dubbed '''saddlegitz''', and are a smidge braver than most members of their species.

==Unit Type==
There are currently a few types of Beast Snaggas released. These are:
*'''[[Squighog Boy]]'''
*'''[[Beast Snagga Boy]]'''

{{Orks-Forces}}
[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]
[[Category: Xenos]]
[[Category: Orks]]
[[Category: Feral Orks]]

Kragnos

2021-05-04T07:15:47Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

==History==
Kragnos was born a mortal member of a so-far unnamed race of centaurs. He ascended to godhood through his many quests for power, among which he crafted the Dread Mace out of the heart of a mountain (which knowing all the living mountains that are in [[Ghur]] is probably literal) and claimed the legendary shield Tuskbreaker. The numerous races of Destruction quickly decided he was a pretty cool guy, and began worshipping him in addition to [[Gorkamorka (Deity)|Gorkamorka]] (aided by the fact that Gorkamorka himself developed a healthy respect for the guy after his shield broke one of his teeth). Eventually, Kragnos became too powerful and destructive for the forces of Order to tolerate, and thus he was sealed away in a mountain by an alliance of sorcerers lead by the legendary [[Lord Kroak]].

During the [[Broken Realms Saga|Broken Realms crisis]], Kragnos managed to escape his prison, only to discover his race had been wiped out entirely, thus presumably beginning a vengeance-fueled rampage.

==Tabletop==
Kragnos can be taken by any Destruction aligned army.

So far all we know about his rules is that he has a 2+ save, 18 wounds, deals mortal wounds on the charge, has an in-built magic resistance and buffs the bravery of all nearby DESTRUCTION units.

[[Category: Age of Sigmar]]

Kragnos

2021-05-03T20:24:20Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

==History==
Kragnos was born a mortal member of a so-far unnamed race of centaurs. He ascended to godhood through his many quests for power, among which he crafted the Dread Mace out of the heart of a mountain (which knowing all the living mountains that are in Ghur is probably literal) and claimed the legendary shield Tuskbreaker. The numerous races of Destruction quickly decided he was a pretty cool guy, and began worshipping him in addition to Gorkamorka (aided by the fact that Gorkamorka himself developed a healthy respect for the guy after his shield broke one of his teeth). Eventually, Kragnos became too powerful and destructive for the forces of Order to tolerate, and thus he was sealed away in a mountain by an alliance of sorcerers lead by the legendary [[Lord Kroak]].

During the Broken Realms crisis, Kragnos managed to escape his prison, only to discover his race had been wiped out entirely, thus presumably beginning a vengeance-fueled rampage.

==Tabletop==
Kragnos can be taken by any Destruction aligned army.

So far all we know about his rules is that he has a 2+ save, 18 wounds, deals mortal wounds on the charge, has an in-built magic resistance and buffs the bravery of all nearby DESTRUCTION units.

[[Category: Age of Sigmar]]

Kroot

2021-04-22T05:22:23Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

[[Image:Kroot.png|thumbnail|right|300px|In Tau Empire, chicken eats YOU!]]

{{topquote|They are fierce indeed these Kroot, and savage. I look upon them and tremble at their ferocity. I can only hope that when the enemy sees them they tremble as I do.|Por'vre Tau Cho, Water caste envoy}}

The '''Kroot''' are a vassal species to the [[Tau|Tau Empire]]. Rather bitey. Basically carnivorous space chickens who look like a cross between Native Americans, the dreadlocked aliens from ''Predator'', and ancient [[Terra|Terran]] terror birds, with a bit of D&D's [[Aarakocra]] thrown in. They steal genetic traits of things they eat, and work for people who aren't the Tau. Which means they are cool.

However, the Kroot see little support from [[Games Workshop]] and players in general, likely due to the fact that their odd stats, high frailty despite being billed as a melee force, and lack of wargear in the Tau list make them less than effective, and their [[Warhammer_40,000/Chapter_Approved/Kroot_Mercenaries|mercenary codex]] is from an old [[Chapter Approved]] (and thus no longer legal).

For those interested, there's [[Codex - Kroots: /tg/'s 9th Edition|a high-quality and balanced 9th-ed Fan-Dex]]. Most people will let you use it in a friendly game.

As of the most recent [[Dark Eldar]] codex, the [[Haemonculus]] Covens has taken a liking to the way Kroot gastronomy reacts to evolution and had conducted a gigantic raid which, to put it lightly, utterly destroyed Pech a new one. The Dark Eldar pretty much [[Looted]] nearly the entire biosphere of Pech including a several dozen Kroot Shapers, seriously we aren't even joking on the whole looted part. Essentially the Dark Eldar almost [[Exterminatus]] an entire planet through [[Blood Ravens|sheer theft that would make a Bloody Magpie proud.]] Suffice it to say, Pech was saved by a counterattack by the Tau, but by then it was too little too late. The Kroot's homeworld lay devastated and the rescuing Tau party was greeted with a grisly scene of mutilated Kroot corpses laid out in Eldar Lexicon which translates to, "[[Rape|Welcome to the feast.]]" The Tau in all their naive weeaboo hats, promptly shat themselves a brown stinky brick whilst the captured Kroots were promptly turned into KFC. Since that day, the Tau have encountered many similar messages on their worlds, which may just paint a sign that our little weeaboos will be the Dark Eldar's new buddy.

It is uncertain, and probably unlikely, that we will ever get a kroot codex thanks to the Imperium centric focus of the setting. Thanks Geedubs. However, we ''did'' get Kill Team rules for a Kroot Mercenary faction in the January 2019 White Dwarf. Strictly fun and noncompetitive, but it's ''something''.

GOOD NEWS! With all the new options with Eighth edition, it is now possible to run a mostly Kroot Army!

==Physiology==
[[File:OW EOI Kroot Shaper.png|thumbnail|right|300px|''By instinctively isolating and analysing the DNA contained with the flesh of potential food sources, these exceptional Kroot, known as Shapers, can determine whether the prey’s characteristics are favourable or detrimental to the genetic advancement of their Kindred, and can thereby guide the development of the other Kroot. They are the wardens and caretakers of their Kindred’s genetic inheritance, and they guard it against regression, corruption, and unwanted mutation.'']]
[[Xenology]] suggests that the reason Kroot are humanoid, able to walk and think, and able to build weapons and spacecraft is because at one time in their history, an [[Ork]] ship crashed on Pech (the Kroot's home planet). The Kroot promptly started eating the dazed survivors of this crash (how they managed to not end up with a full-blown Ork infestation remains anyone's guess. Maybe the kroot lick their plates when they are done eating, leading to no spores left behind, anyone's guess.) and subsequently managed to gain some of the Orks' innate understanding for technology, as well as a measure of their resilience. Oh, and the basic humanoid body layout on top of that. Two arms, bipedal gait, the whole shebang. Evidence for this are pieces of wreckage marked with Ork glyphs scattered all over Pech that the Kroot regard as sacred objects, as well as the presence of hybrid fungal matter in parts of their body.

For some reason, the fluff likes to point out how revolting the Kroot are for their carnivorous practices, even though, when you really stop and think about it, the Kroot are one of the more morally upright races around. They're explicitly not xenophobic racists, they ''have to'' eat dead sapients to stay intelligent (unlike, say, [[Space Marines]] and [[Tyranids]] who also eat people's brains to gain knowledge, or the fucking [[Dark Eldar]], who do it purely for lulz), and they're not notably more cruel than anyone else but the Tau, who seem to be the only people in the universe who more or less tolerate them. Although this may have to do with point of view, most of the time it's the Tau or [[Imperial Guard]] who would find the eating of the dead, friend or foe, gross. Tyranids are viewed as mindless animals, so eating things isn't as "wrong" for them, and most people forgot Space Marines can gain knowledge by eating brains [[Blood_Angels#Red_Thirst|(occasionally chasing it with fresh squeezed blood)]]. Most who do spend their time around Kroot generally seem to like them, though. The "revolting" part may be more of a knee-jerk reaction from people not used to seeing bird people eating dudes.

You may have noticed that this article talks a lot about eating. According to Chapter Approved in [[White Dwarf]], the Kroot physiology basically revolves around their mouth. They have multiple stomachs, no excretory organs (what they can't digest, they puke up), and females even breed by transforming a stomach into a womb and then vomiting up the baby/babies when it's/they're full grown. Take a wild guess how they conceive.

...The answer is back rubs. Male Kroot have specialized pores that secrete a gene-bearing bio-fluid (what experts refer to as "alien bird-jizz") on their palms, whilst female Kroot have "receptor pores" for this fluid on the smalls of their back. So when two Kroot make babies, the male has to give the female a back rub. Yeah, we thought it would be [[Heterosexual Sex in the Missionary Position|kinkier]], too.

Fun Fact: they are the only nonhuman species that can have [[Blank]]s, likely because they ate one at some point.

==Culture==

Kroot also moonlight as [[Codex - Kroots: /tg/'s 9th Edition|mercenaries]] for races other than the Tau, though about the only sapient beings whose flesh they won't eat are the Tau, since the Tau saved them from extinction. Mercenary bands eat lots of different stuff, and so [[Kroot_Kindreds|can have various genetic traits]]. Thus, Kroot can use [[Eldar|Weeaboo Fightan Magiks]], be [[Orks|cunnin' but fighty]], or have [[Imperial Guard|balls of steel]], depending on who they've eaten, but not as well as the originals. Eating [[Chaos]]-types causes Bad Things™ to happen. They also refuse to eat the 'Nids, because the Shapers, the Kroot leaders, fear becoming slaves to the [[Hive Mind]]. They also can't eat anyone infected by the [[Necron]]s' Nanites because Nanites will turn Kroot into another Necron/[[C'Tan]] zombie slave. They also get paid in weapons, allowing them to use Imperial and Tau special weapons together, and nearly their entire army can infiltrate, <strike>and get 1st turn assault if they're lucky</strike> (NOPE, 6th edition ended that shit). Kroot don't use tanks or much in the way of tech (aside from [[Kroot Rifle|long rifle-like guns with blades on both ends]]), instead using native animals derived from the Kroot genus. They have attack dogs, gorillas with elephant guns, riding beasts like allosaurs, and really big riding beasts like T. rexes. Think the Gungans from ''The Phantom Menace'', only <s>not totally lame</s> [[Awesome]]. There is no contention that Kroot are exponentially cooler than Gungans. <span style='color:red;font-size:115%'> More meat? Good! BWWAAAK! <span style='color:yellow;font-size:115%'>

They also have a rather dark sense of humor; for example, offering human meat to human diplomats because [[Troll|they think seeing their reactions are funny.]] This is also shown in the second Last Chancers book "Kill Team", where Kage is forced to eat a human brain (while he goes into horrific detail about the taste and texture). After this, the Kroot reveals that this was a secret test of character, but also that it was good for shits and giggles. In general, the Kroot sense of humor revolves around making other people profoundly uncomfortable. For example, a Kroot might walk into the same elevator as a Water Caste diplomat, turn up her pungent pheromones to full blast, and silently laugh her bird-woman ass off as the increasingly-uncomfortable fellow passenger tries to ignore it with less and less success.

Kroot also have shamans (psykers). They pilot warp ships called [[Warspheres]]; ''very'' large, spherical vessels of dubious quality but nonetheless capable of warp travel. Warspheres also double as mobile communities for the Kroot when they are away from Pech.

In the short story "Warsphere", which all of ten people have read, where Dahyak Grekh of Blackstone Fortress fame tricks a dark eldar Archon into giving up the location of said Blackstone Fortress, we gain a little bit of insight into the technology and culture of the Kroot on their eponymous space-cities. On a spiritual level, the Kroot believe in a warrior-spirit named Vawk the Huntress, who assumedly blessed the Warsphere of the story, and that vast chambers and halls of their ships are carved with the histories of the Kindred who made them. We also learn that the Kroot are incredibly proud of their heritage, and even think its funny that someone would try to repair a warsphere, thinking that no one but the Kroot could understand its technology. Oh, and that the Kroot can learn the memories of the things they eat, such as the location of a Blackstone Fortress. On a technological level, they are riddled with traps that are impossible to disarm without the aid of a Kroot, as their user manuals consist of memory-imbued scraps of flesh and totemic symbols. Oh, also, Warspheres have mechanical birds that defend the insides.

The book Liber Xenologicus gives more details on the Kroot religion. In their origin myth, Vawk the Huntress flied across the primordial chaos of the Nothingsea until she encountered the rival god Gmork. This battle was so intense that it created the stars and planets of the galaxy. Vawk gained Gmork's strength by drinking his blood and so was able to defeat him, but it was a short lived victory as his blood was poisonous. Her last act before perishing was to descend to the planet Pech, where her feathers became the forest and bones became the mountains, and vomit a great flock of eagles into the sky. This is likely a crude genetic memory of the Kroot's original evolution into sapience by eating Orks.

==Known Kroot Forms==
As mentioned above, the downside of Kroot consumptive evolution is that it's really easy for them to get "stuck" on the wrong path and devolve permanently into an atavistic form. As a consequence, every animal-filled ecological niche on Pech is now filled by some form of degenerated kroot. But, so far, only a select handful of Kroot offshoots have been explicitly called out...

*'''[[Kroot Hound]]s''' are one of the most iconic of these strains, having been around since the Kroot were released. These Kroot degenerated into small, sleek, pack-hunting quadrupeds, easily tamed by their still-sapient cousins.
* '''[[Krootox]]es''' are the second-most iconic Kroot strains; degenerated into hulking, ape-like herbivores, they're mostly used as beasts of burden and as mobile mounts for heavy artillery.
*'''[[Lesser Knarloc]]s''' are sort of a step-up from the Kroot Hounds, being analogous to either a pack-hunting terror-bird or a more avian pack of velociraptors. Kroot like to ride them as cavalry.
*'''[[Great Knarloc]]s''' are much, ''much'' bigger, solo-hunter variants of the standard Knarlocs. If a lesser Knarloc is a Velociraptor, the great one is a beaky T-Rex.
*'''Krootors''' are swamp-dwelling, amphibious predators, essentially a Krootified alligator. Their only known appearance in the canon so far is in [[Black Crusade (RPG)|The Screaming Vortex]], on the planet Asphodel.

==TL;DR==

Kroot: Shoot like Tau with bolters. Move and hit like Eldar. Die like Guardsmen. (And have an amour save that will save them from [[lasgun|lasguns]] and nothing else—16% of the time) As of 8th, Kroot lost infiltrate for a Scout move, and hit like Space Marines in close combat.

==Building list==
Do you like to win more than you like to have fun? No? Good, you might enjoy a nearly-full Kroot list in the 8th ed. version of the Kroot Mercenaries. You sadly have no warlord, so you'll have to drag along that blasted Ethereal or two for the HQ detachment, but after that you have a lot of freedom.

Kroot carnivores are your troops choice, followed by one of three elites: Dahyak Grekh, Krootox Riders, or Kroot shapers. Take them all because why not. After that, fill your fast attack with plenty of [[Kroot_Hound|Kroot Doggos]] and some Knarloc Riders, and top off your Heavy Support slot with a Greater Knarloc.

You're not likely to win anything with this army, and the Ethereals will do nothing but give leadership and some extra melee for you, but you are basically free to goof around. You aren't strong or competitive in any way, but part of this hobby is fun, so shut up and have fun.

== Modelling ==
A slight issue with the Kroot range is that it's incredibly small and unsupported. In that, GW has only ever made a handful of kits for them, the majority being metal or resin. The only plastic Kroot kit is the carnivores, while knarlocs and great knarlocs, their most badass kits, haven't been supported in years.

However, there's a light at the end of the tunnel, my fellow bird-lovers! If you don't mind 3rd party, there's a seller on Etsy that makes off-brand Kroot models that are honestly pretty fucking fire. He's made remodels of the long-lost knarlocs, resin prints of hounds, alternative bits to make regular Kroot look sci-fi, and even has some GSC/Kroot prints. Honestly he does a good job, nuff said.

== Gallery ==

<gallery>
Image:YesIagree.png|They also have quite a way with words.
</gallery>

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Xenos]]

[[Category: Tau]]

[[Category: Kroot]]

{{Template:Tau}}

{{Template:Important Species in 40k}}

Nighthaunt

2021-04-20T17:09:25Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Nighthaunt|Logo=LadyOlynderMortarch.png|Alliance=Death|Motto=Wooo!! I'm a ghosty!}}

{{topquote|Welcome, foolish mortals, to the haunted mansion!|Ghost Host}}

{{topquote|As those who believe in the visibility of ghosts can easily see them, so it is always easy to see repulsive qualities in those we despise and hate.|Frederick Douglass}}

{{topquote|A house is never still in darkness to those who listen intently; there is a whispering in distant chambers, an unearthly hand presses the snib of the window, the latch rises. Ghosts were created when the first man woke in the night.|J.M. Barrie}}

The '''Nighthaunt''' are a faction in [[Warhammer: Age of Sigmar]]. They are an army of ghosts who hate and envy the living. Like all undead, they're part of Grand Alliance: Death, and thus owe their allegiance to [[Nagash]]. Previously a minor faction, Age of Sigmar second edition promotes them to new heights of relevance with them even being in the starter set.

Most of the Nighthaunt have forms that reflect their past crimes, and said crimes range from actual wrong-doing to something Nagash doesn't like; an example of the latter are the Nighthaunts called Dreadscythe Harridans, the spirits of healers [[Grimdark|who Nagash turned into tormented killing machines for the 'crime' of saving people from dying and thus preventing their souls from coming to Shyish, and he left them aware of their actions but unable to control themselves]]. This was done as either a kind of an ironic punishment or Nagash's idea of a joke, which just goes to show how much of a hypocrite he is, since all of his power came from scheming, theft, sacrilege, murder, genocide, and a Warpstone drug addiction.

==History==
Nighthaunts have always been around in some form, some artificially created by necromancers, others naturally arose by powerful winds of Amethyst Magic. The first all-Nighthaunt army was created by Nagash during the beginning of the Age of Chaos, when he turned the spirits of valiant warriors who swore oaths to fight for noble causes and never for coin into mercenaries who killed in exchange for payments of souls, also establishing his firm love for ironic torture. They only became a true big player during the Necroquake caused by Nagash's Black Pyramid, where vast waves of Shyish energy caused the reanimation of millions of Nighthaunts. Unfortunately for Nagash, the hordes had no leadership and didn't know anything about tactics or strategy, and the force that could've ushered in his ultimate victory mostly just got sidetracked.

Seeing that these hordes needed a leader, he appointed Lady Olynder to be the Mortarch in charge of the Nighthaunt. She quickly went around organizing them into actual armies, called Processions, and appointing generals to lead them in the form of the Knights of Shrouds. Olynder's first task as Mortarch was to eradicate the Chaos forces occupying the Underworld of Lyria, and although she was succesful, her near-death at the hands of a [[Bloodthirster]] caused Nagash to realize that she needed a lieutenant to prevent her from making another such mistake, resulting in him arranging her marriage to Kurdoss Valentian. Sadly there are no details about how the wedding went, so we just have to imagine a giant Nagash saying "YOU'RE MARRIED, NOW KISS".

Since then they've been rampaging across the realms, [[Shyish]] most of all. The Processions have been incorporated into the Legion of Grief, which was formed to besiege the City of Lethis and free Katakros, an ally of Nagash, from a Stormvault. Word on the streets is that Kurdoss referred to this outing as a "honeymoon" whilst Olynder spent most the trip there whining about how far away it was.

After freeing Katakros, as a favour Lady O and her hubby decided to lend a helping hand in his endeavours to besiege the [[Eightpoints]], leading the initial assault. This didn't go wholly to plan, however - whilst they initially broke the chaos forces and Olynder managed to infect [[Be'lakor]] with supernatural rectal cancer, chaos quickly overwhelmed them, leading to Kurdoss being temporarily shattered (much to his annoyance) and Olynder calling for a retreat.

==The Processions==
Prior to the soulwars, it was rare to see masses of Nighthaunt gathered together in large armies, partly due to their unreliable nature as ghosts. This changed following the crowning of Lady Olynder as Mortarch of Grief, as she ruthlessly gathered the spirits and formed them into armies known as Processions. The goals of each Procession are mostly centered around specific curses or leaders. Some Processions might be formed of a empires worth of spirits, called forth from the underworld, while others may be spirits long imprisoned by Nagash, freed and twisted by the Necroquake.

The Processions employ the various spirits dredged up from the bowels of Shyish, meaning that they can be pretty varied. However, the same group of archetypes tend to pop up more often than others;

*'''Knight of Shrouds''': In life, these guys were generals that sold out to Nagash and are cursed in the afterlife to lead his hosts. They are cursed to ''always'' have a small sliver of doubt that worms through their hearts, meaning they suffer from a perpetual Macbeth-type guilt.
*'''Guardian of Souls''': The wannabe Necromancers that thought they could outrun death are now (un)living nexuses of Death Magic. They summon more Nighthaunt into battle.
*'''Spirit Torment''': AKA the ones that got off easy. Sadistic Jailers in life now get to be even more sadistic jailers in the afterlife!
*'''Lord Executioner''': The ones who got the second best deal after Spirit Torments. Executioners who knowingly killed the innocent in life or enjoyed their work too much are now sent after heroes to execute them in unlife. They are constantly harassed by the spirits of the people they wrongfully executed, but those same spirits also can be used to preserve the Executioner's unlife.
*'''Dreadblade Harrow''': The lieutenants of the Knights that watched on as they betrayed and did nothing. Their half-measures in life make them especially incorporeal.
*'''Krulghast Cruciator''': Formerly mortals who were tortured to death, the Krulghast Cruciators now gain power by inflicting torment upon others. When harvesting the pain of their opponents they turn into beacons of death magic that make other Nighthaunt harder to banish.
*'''Cairn Wraith''': Mass murderers and serial killers that can't rest due to their hatred. Often Lone Wolves among the Processions.
*'''Tomb Banshee''': The betrayed and tormented women, who in unlife have become obsessed with revenge.
*'''Spirit Hosts''': Formless, identity-less packs of spirits that are all bound together, often found in mass graves or battlefields.
*'''Chainrasps''': The average criminal scum that died in chains, now forever grasping and begging for light in the afterlife.
*'''Grimghast Reapers''': When someone has too much [[Just as Planned]] they are blinded and forced to kill with no subtlety whatsoever.
*'''Hexwraiths''': The proud and cruel [[Bretonnia|Knights that decided to shit on the peasants]] too much are stuck forever riding their ethereal horses.
*'''Glaivewrath Stalkers''': The guys that enjoyed hunting too much are now melded with their mounts, their weapons always point towards their victims like compasses but they literally cannot feel any joy in the hunt anymore.
*'''Myrmourn Banshees''': People who sought knowledge of magic in life (specifically death magic) and didn't pay proper reverence to Nagash are forced to feed on nothing BUT magic, devouring spells and wizards.
*'''Chainghasts''': The Spirit Torment's assistants but without the better deal. They're formed from people who died in captivity and didn't pray to Nagash for help. For this "crime" they're put into iron harnesses, forced to carry heavy locks enchanted to fill them with hopelessness and forced to act as enforcers for Spirit Torments. Still better off than Bladegheists and Dreadscythes.
*'''Bladegheist Revenants''': Those who died screeching and thrashing are robbed of any vision, and are forced to flail around with unmatched frenzy whilst holding swords. Really cruel, since the classification for these can include innocent people who drowned or were buried alive.
*'''Dreadscythe Harridans''': Along with the Bladegheists, they have the most cruel fate. Former healers that stopped souls from going to Nagash by saving people from fatal injuries are forced into committing wanton slaughter with only scythes for hands, and a few even have two arms split into four. As a further "fuck you" from Nagash, their minds and memories are wholly intact, but they are unable to control their actions.
*'''Black Coach''': The particularly powerful [[Necromancer]]s and Vampires are coached around by a Cairn Wraith in these, so that they can absorb the Death Magic and regenerate.

==Why They're Scary==
Well, aside from the fact that they're called [[Konrad Curze|Nighthaunt]], the Nighthaunt pose a very real and genuinely terrifying threat to the people of the realms; they are literally the dead, suffering awful and torturous fates, rising from the grave to drag them down into the same hell they're suffering. You can never know when they're coming, you can't fortify against them, you can't even wound them most of the time because they're ghosts. What hammers the fear factor home even further is the cruel and frankly unfair ironies of some of their units. Did you heal people in life? Tough titties, you're gonna blindly murder them with scythes for hands. Die drowning and flailing? Then you're gonna flail around for all eternity. Die in prison? Oops, looks like you're gonna be blindly groping around for light for the rest of your miserable existence! (and if your jailer was abusive, they might become a Nighthaunt too and STILL have power over you)

Tl:dr, if they want to get you (and they do), then they will. And when they do, at best you'll suffer, at worst you'll suffer then become one of them.

==Notable Nighthaunts==

*'''[[Lady Olynder|Lady Olynder, Mortarch of Grief]]:''' In life, Olynder was a scheming gold digger who married high-ranking men then arranged the deaths of her husbands, afterwards crying crocodile tears about how she's a widow after each one died. Upon her death, Nagash punished her for her crimes by making her feel all the grief in the Mortal Realms, so now she's a genuine sobbing wreck. However, that didn't stop Olynder for long; using her own sorrows as a irresistible bait for other Nighthaunt, she forged one of the first entirely Nighthaunt empires. With the arrival of more Nighthaunts after the Necroquake, Nagash needed someone to manage them, and thus promoted her to be his newest Mortarch.

*'''[[Kurdoss Valentian|Kurdoss Valentian, the Craven King]]:''' Another noble who schemed his way into power, killing many including his own brothers, but was struck down by Nagash just before his coronation as King (Not for his betrayals and murders, but because he praised and prayed to Sigmar). He is constantly followed by spectral heralds who mock him for not being able to become a true king (basically Statler and Waldorf) and is also cursed to be unable to raise his voice above the level of a whisper. He was married to Lady Olynder by Nagash to become the second-in-command of the Nighthaunt, but further cursed to be forced to obey her every order so as to deny him any kind of rulership even in his new position of power.

*'''[[Reikenor|Reikenor the Grimhailer]]:''' Once a mighty sorcerer from Hysh who attempted to become immortal. [[Warhammer Underworlds|And we all know what Nagash does to people who try to cheat death]]. Now Nagash tasks him with hunting down and killing those who would seek to steal souls from him and Necromancers who refuse to serve him.

*'''The Briar Queen:''' A former mage of Death. Notable for looking suspiciously similar to Olynder and being stuck in the Nightvault of Shadespire.

*'''Gharest Malcor''': A knight who was part of a rebellion against Lady Olynder after figuring out she'd murdered their previous king and the prince to get power. However Olynder seduced him into betraying the rebellion to her, by bribing him with money, riches, and presumably [[/d/|feet pics]]. This was all for nought however, as she murdered him as well. As a Nighthaunt she enslaved him to be <s>her main simp</s> <s>pay piggy</s> <s>a beta orbiter</s> a Knight of Shrouds who leads her personal army detachment, The Emerald Host.

*'''The [[Konrad Curze|Night Haunter]]:''' C'mon, it's in the name.

==Spooky Melodies for Haunting==
As any good [[Ork]]/[[Imperial Guard]]/[[Stormcast Eternals|Stormcast]]/[[Ossiarch Bonereapers|Skelebob]] player knows, fitting music for your army is necessary for lowering enemy morale, so you'll need to have a couple of ghastly tunes ready to give your opponent (and the rest of your [[FLGS]]) a real fright!

*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSaqSVi--Ms Grim Bitter Haunts - Make sure to play this when you bring both Lady Olynder, Valentian and Reikenor in a game!]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaFjmhIeezU Now I know it's N-N-N-N-NIGHTHAUNT!]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blUtOezg__g For the Vidya lovers among us.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n65xmQApjFY For Metal lovers.]

==See Also==
*[[Nagash]], their God and the dickbag that doomed them to their crappy existences.
*[[Age of Sigmar/Tactics/Death/Nighthaunt|Tactics/Nighthaunt]]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File: Nighthaunt Art 1.jpeg|"OoooooOooOOOOOo... I really fucking hate my unlife... OOOOooooOoo"
File: Soul Wars.jpeg|Who you gonna call? SIG-MARINES!
</gallery>

{{Nighthaunt-Characters}}
{{Nighthaunt-Units}}
{{Template:Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}
[[Category:Legions of Nagash]]

Lumineth Realm-Lords

2021-03-22T02:53:47Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Lumineth Realm-Lords|Logo=Eltharion's essence.jpg|Alliance=Order|Motto=FOR <s>ULTHUAN</s> HYSH!!!!!}}
{{Topquote|The phoenix must burn to emerge.|Janet Fitch}}
{{Topquote|Have you heard of the High Elves?|LaFave Bros Oblivion youtube video}}
{{Topquote|We must be swift as the coursing river. With all the force of a great typhoon. With all the strength of a raging fire. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!|Be <s>a Man</s> an Aelf}}
{{Topquote|MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!|Avalenor, the Stoneheart King}}
The Lumineth Realm-lords (also known as '''High Elves 2.0''', '''Loony Meth-Heads''', and '''Lu-methheads'''. Officially "Realm-lords", without the second capital.) are a bunch of stone and crystal obsessed elves residing in the Realm of [[Hysh]] and led by Teclis. Forced onto the defensive by Chaos, they harness the magic of their realm and refuse to go down without a fight... just like the High Elves of old, but without the "dying race" element (and the accompanying lore inconsistencies) and a surprising amount of Dorfiness, given their love of hammers, runic magic and elementals.

With a heavy Greek aesthetic, new model and the return of [[Eltharion]], good times are abound if you were a fan of the High Elves back in the world that was.

==History==
===Origins/Age of Myth===
Once upon a time, [[Teclis]], [[Tyrion]], and [[Malekith|Malerion]] found a previously assumed dead [[Morathi]] who was very much alive, who then led the odd trio to the morbidly obese [[Slaanesh]] in a cave where they beat the shit out of him until he coughed up all of the Elven souls he had consumed after [[The End Times]]. A good chunk of these souls were given to Teclis, in order to recreate the High Elves of old and bring their race back to their former glory. The initial race that came from Teclis's attempts were the [[Idoneth Deepkin]] and, well... [[FAIL|He tried]].

This new batch of Aelves seem to have come out of the oven much better, far more sane and stable than any other Aelf so far. Given the Idoneth's hostile estrangement from Teclis while the Lumineth worship and fight side-by-side with him, relations between the two are... strange. In the Lumineth Battletome the Idoneth Deepkin are their only ally option, while in the Allegiance Matrix for multiplayer games in the General's Handbook they are listed as a Desperate Coalition (to put that in perspective, that's worse than the relationship between Khorne/Slaanesh or Tzeentch/Nurgle and is the only Desperate Coalition that isn't between factions from two entirely seperate Grand Alliances. Even Drycha the crazy, genocidal racist can act nicer to other factions). Best explanation is that they do utterly despise each other, but realize there are WAY bigger threats to their own societies, so they grudgingly tolerate each other for now.

Anyways after their initial inception they went on to colonize all parts of the realm of Hysh. After learning how to utilize the native realmstone Aetherquartz to Lumineth society grew to be one of if not the most advanced and grand civilization in all the realms. With art, arcetiture and learning being the envy of many other civilizations. Lumineth society was built on self-improvement, absurdly impractical headgear and the accumulation of wisdom, fueled by the power of Aetherquartz to amplify their bodies and minds They. However, in the typical elven arrogance, they assumed that because Slaanesh was imprisoned they no longer had to worry about Chaos and decided to abuse the Aetherquartz like [[Skaven]] to [[Warpstone]], leading them to be the butt of many jokes about drugs.

===Age of Chaos===
Unfortunately for the Lumineth, in conjunction with the elves' own hubris, Tyrion and Teclis were very hands-off about godhood after the civilization was built. As a result, the subtle whispers of the Dark Gods entered their minds, causing envy and bitter rivalry. The subsequent campaigns of defamation and sabotage culminated in a massive civil war called the Ocari Dara, or Spirefall. The entire realm of Hysh was devastated, as the Lumineth had a habit of inventing uber-spells and doomsday devices just to see if they could, justifying it by claiming they were too enlightened to ever use such weapons for evil (which they obviously weren't). To make matters worse, the overflow of passion, pride and obsession from the war became a beacon for Slaaneshi daemons, who then invaded Hysh and would've wiped them out if Tyrion hadn't personally intervened to save the last survivors.

Teclis searched for some way to save his race from themselves, and found it when he managed to commune with Celennar, the spirit of Hysh's moon. He taught the Lumineth a new way of self-discipline, where they would bond with the elemental spirits to gain their power and wisdom. This rearrangement of Lumineth society was called the Reinvention Wars, which lasted the remaining years of the Age of Chaos and is widely credited with preventing them from becoming extinct altogether.

===Age of Sigmar===
The Lumineth were mostly unseen during the Age of Sigmar, being too focused on rebuilding their own realm in order to care about the other races.

During the Time of Tribulations, Teclis predicted the upcoming Necroquake, and ordered the construction of Aetherquartz towers in order to mitigate its effects. While this helped protect the Lumineth cities from undead invasion, Teclis failed to predict the arrival of Endless Spells, which would become a common plague upon the already magically battered landscape of Hysh.

During a meeting between Teclis and the other Aelven gods, Morathi started claiming that Slaanesh will inevitably escape. While the other Aelven gods dismissed this as the rantings of a madwoman, Teclis took this seriously and decided that the Lumineth must end their isolationism in order to purge Chaos from other realms. This hasn't endeared them well with the other races of Order, as they tend to deploy their legions without permission or warning out of the arrogant assumption that the lesser races can't be trusted to solve their own problems (arrogant ''and'' hypocritical coming from the Lumineth, who [[Eldar|nearly caused their own extinction through selfish obsessions]]). Adding to the fact that they have no problem with killing civilians and allies if they view it as necessary to cleanse Chaos, it’s understandable why some people don’t like it when they arrive unannounced. While the Stormcast have also used this approach, unlike them the Lumineth haven't earned a good reputation beforehand, and are a bunch of Johnny-Come-Latelys compared to the Stormcast's Big Damn Heroes.

At some point, Teclis had found the remnants of [[Eltharion]]'s spirit as he was way too badass to be claimed by Nagash. After putting his soul back together, Teclis ordered armor and weapons made in the Yvressian style, found a dude who looked near identical to Eltharion, created a soulless clone of that guy's body and tried to shove our old boy's soul right in. Sadly, [[Arkhan the Black|Arkhan]] evidently cursed Eltharion so bad that any body his soul is put in crumples to dust, starting with the aforementioned souless clone. As Teclis cried like a bitch, he noticed that Eltharion's soul was able to inhabit the armor, turning him into [[Thousand Sons|a hollow suit of armor powered by light]]. Since then, Eltharion became one of the leaders of the Lumineth, as Teclis tries to figure out how to give him a normal body.

===Broken Realms===

As Morathi attempted to gain godhood and accidentally loosened the chains of Slaanesh, Teclis started pushing his army against the forces of the undead and [[Nagash]]. He plans on bringing an end to The Soul Wars and clap Nagash's boney cheeks for unleashing the Necroquake. Of course, bone daddy won't take this laying down. More to come soon.

==Society==

The Lumineth themselves are split between numerous different kingdoms within Hysh, known as the Ten Paradises. These Kingdoms each reside on a separate Island, which used to be one landmass before it was sundered in the Age of Chaos. The center Island is Xintil, where Teclis awoke in the Age of Myth and where most of the Sigmar worshiping mortals of Hysh live. Xintil is surrounded by eight islands, each ruled by a separate kingdom. Syar, Iliatha, Ymetrica and Zaitrec are known as the Teclian nations, essentially the Athens compared to the more Spartan Oultrai, Aurathrai, Helon and Alumnia who emulate Tyrion. Each has their own culture, such as Iliatha being matriarchal and doing some cloning shit.

These Lumineth have also come to treasure Aetherquartz, a crystal mineral native to their realm. These crystals gave their wearers great knowledge and power, but it also involves [[Eldar|sucking out their emotions and personalities - a sacrifice they consider worthwhile since unfettered emotions are the Dark Prince's favorite snack]]. In this way, they're similar to [[Stormcast Eternals|Sigmar's golden bois]] in that they're constantly approaching that point where they become effectively logic-driven, uncreative and unfeeling automatons except these guys see it as an acceptable ending compared to the Stormcast's mad search to end the flaw. The emotions drained into the Aetherquartz are used as a source of power by the mages known as Scinari <s>Crack Whores</s> Cathallars, weaponizing their suppressed negative emotions to spread terror and despair among their enemies.

After the Reinvention Wars, an important part of their society has become the Aelementari Temples, cults dedicated to bonding with the landscape of Hysh, in the form of the rivers, winds, mountains or even the light of Hysh's sky (Zenith). To join these cults is extremely difficult; first one must abandon all worldly possessions, then spend years meditating and seeking oneness with the spirit of their chosen location. The final trial is fatal if the spirit deems the aspirant unworthy: those dedicated to the rivers must weigh themselves down and jump into the water, while those dedicated to the mountains must let themselves get buried alive. Yet if they survive, they gain new powers ([[Avatar: The Last Airbender|please tell me there is some legendary Aelf who has the powers of all the Aelementari.]]) While the mages get elemental magic, the warriors get more subtle powers, like the Stoneguard who can enter the "mountain stance" to become immovable bulwarks in battle. The Aelementari can also be petitioned to possess a construct body and directly fight with their disciples.

The only Aelementari temple initially playable on tabletop were the mountain worshippers of the Alarith, who have taken a mountain yak called the "Ymetrican Longhorn" as their symbol, resulting in them being the butt of many cow jokes. The second temple to be officially revealed is the Wind Temple, which as of writing has no official name (Given the new model's name, seems to be Hurakan; get it, Hurakan = Hurricane, GET IT!). They too were met with a barrage of memery due to their troops riding on creatures known as the Treerunners which very closely resembled Kangaroos. Aelementari Temples were intended to teach the Lumineth humility, and it half-worked; although their civilization no longer has the unchecked hubris that led to the Spirefall, many Lumineth have become humblebraggers under the impression that after the Reinvention they have successfully overcome all their flaws and created a perfect society. It seems that the arrogance of the (A)elves is the one flaw they can never overcome.

In terms of combat strategies and tactics, their design and combat is heavily reminiscent of Ancient Greek warfare combined with a bit of Roman. The traditional Spearmen, called the Vanari Auralan Wardens, are essentially hoplites, who form phalanxes to hold the enemy in place while the archers, mages and cavalry get set up to do their stuff. Each of these phalanxes are lead by a High Warden, essentially a Lochagos, who stands at the rear to make sure shit isn't going wrong. Most of these hoplites also adorn their shields with runes. These runes represent learning and enlightenment for the Realm Lords, but seem to be more for decoration than serving an actual battlefield purpose. These Wardens are also capable of forming into phalanxes called Shining Legions, difficult to harm but also slow. These legions are also present among their brethren who wield swords and bows. The Battletome also mentions unseen chariot and scout units, so they’re probably going to show up in a future release. Other major leaders include the Loreseekers, a mix of mage and warrior who are tasked with [[Blood Ravens|recovering ancient artefacts from the other races, allies or not, and bringing them back home where they belong]]

==Great Nations==
Given the Teclis focus of their current lore, only the Teclian nations have been expressed in any detail.
*'''Ymetrica:''' A mountainous kingdom with a great dedication to the Alarith Temple. Were the first Lumineth kingdom to succesfully discover how to bond with the Aelementari, which they won't hesistate to remind you at any moment. Form the vanguard of Teclis' campaign to purify the Mortal Realms. Currently about to get a massive [[Ossiarch Bonereapers|boning]] at Arkhan's command. Essentially Caledor, but replace Dragons with cow-headed earth elementals.
*'''Syar:''' The greatest craftsmen of the Lumineth, and the richest nation too. Created a lot of horrible weapons for the Ocari Dara, and swore to never create weapons again...until Teclis persuaded them that Chaos would win without their help. Just when they thought they were out, Chaos pulled them back in. Most likely suppose to resemble Eataine due to the focus on wealth, though instead of trade they got it through weapon dealing and trade so it's Eataine + the Anvil of Vaul.
*'''Zaitrec:''' The land of master wizards, and thus the place where Teclis likes to hang out most. They worship Celennar even more than Teclis though, and if they ever get to meet Teclis they're more interested in what the spirit has to say, claiming "it is better to learn from the source". Teclis is secretly [[butthurt]] over this having learned from an older source himself in the World-That-Was, much to Tyrion's amusement. For if you miss Saphery, with Celennar filling in for Lileath.
*'''Iliatha:''' This <s>simp</s> matriarchal kingdom revered women due to their belief that creating life was holy. However, they decided that the traditional method of childbirth was too gross for them, and invented a method to create clones by splitting souls. This lead to horrible excesses during the Ocari Dara, which were so dark that the other nations refuse to speak about it. Afterwards the technology was strictly regulated so that only one copy could be created per person, resulting in Iliatha having the largest population of the nations, the majority of whom are soul-bound twins. Avelorn, only with magic cloning.

==Named Characters==
*'''[[Teclis]]:''' The <s>a</s>elf, the myth, the literal legend, everyone's favourite (former!) anaemic cripple is back as one of the two gods of light (the other being his brother Tyrion).
*'''[[Eltharion|The Light of Eltharion]]:''' The soul of Eltharion himself, now in a sick looking [[Thousand Sons|hollow suit of armour.]]
*'''Avelanor:''' The Aelementiri spirit of the largest mountain in Hysh, Avelanor is a mystery as instead of being bound into a war-form by a temple he just kinda showed up by himself one day.
*'''Sevireth:''' The "Lord of the Seventh Wind", whatever that means.
*'''Lyrior Uthralle:''' Warden of Ymetrica, and quite martially-inclined for someone from a realm on the Teclican half of Hysh.
*'''Ellania & Ellathor:''' A pair of twins, one a powerful sorceress, the other a skilled warrior, who fight on the battlefield as a single unit. Seeing the similarities to themselves Tyrion and Teclis have taken them on as proteges.

==Soulbound==
Coming in 2021 with the Champions of Order supplement.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Aelve Spearmen.jpg|AELVES, WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION!?
File:Aelve Cav.jpg|Gee, I wonder what ancient civilization these guys where based on.
File:Elf_elite_guard.jpg|Heavy armor, hammers and a stone motif... [[Dwarfs (WFB)|where have I seen this before?]]
File:Eltharion AOS.jpg|I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, ARKHAN!
File:Befriending furries.jpg|'''Asserting dominance'''
File:Realm Lord Runes.jpg|No one tell the Dwarfs that the Elgi figured out how runes work....
File:Sitting Bull.jpg|An Alarith Stonemage. I wonder how Dwarfs would react to an elf controlling stone with magic.
File:Alarith.png|Alarith, Spirit of the Mountain. And you thought [[Settra the Imperishable|Settra]] had a lot of titles/aliases.
File:Scinari.jpg|A Scinari Cathallar. That's pronounced SIN-ar-ee CATH-ull-arr, according Geedubs themselves.
File:Sad Lady.jpg|She feels your pain.
File:Lumineth vs Khorne.jpg|A fun game of Whack-a-reaver
File:Minotaur mountain.jpg|Avalenor in all his red, stony glory.
File:Elf with heavy burden.jpg|[[Snowflame|Weaponized magic Crystal Meth]] (Doomrider approves).
File:Lumineth Box.jpg|Available now (quartz not accepted as an alternative to money)
</gallery>

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Games Workshop]]

{{Template:Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}

Warhammer Quest: Cursed City

2021-03-19T16:26:44Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

The latest incarnation of the “Warhammer Quest” series, '''Cursed City''' is an upcoming specialist game set in the timeline of [[Age of Sigmar]]. Its general feel and aesthetic has led more than a few folks to compare it to [[Mordheim]], though nothing can be said for certain until the game releases.

==History of the City==
The city of Mournhold lays in the middle of the Realm of Death, founded by a collection of Azyrite colonists and ruled by three noble houses (Altern, Vossheim, and Gaunt). Although the denizens of the city were a strong and proud folk, the Age of Chaos proved to be the breaking point as the city was ravaged by the Khornate [[Daemon Prince]] Slaughn the Ravenor. Salvation came from a mysterious visitor called Radukar the Wolf. This vampiric marauder and his fleet of Ogor vampires saved Mournhold from ruination, and all he asked for in return was a seat at the noble table...and a few blood sacrifices to sate his thirst. Slowly Radukar made subtle changes to Mournhold during his time in the ruling caste, such as establishing his own cadre of dark followers called the Thirsting Court. It wouldn’t be until the Age of Sigmar and the nightmarish Necroquake that things really went bad. The entire city fell into darkness and insanity, with the Thirsting Court starting a brutal purging of any “uncooperative” nobility. Mournhold was no more. Now Ulfenkarn (meaning “Wolf’s Feast” in Radukar’s tongue) takes its place; a shadowy hive of vampiric monsters and ghoulish abominations. Now a motley crew consisting of lone wolves, academic heretics, troublemakers, and other pains in the butt of bureaucracy have arrived in the city to finally cleanse Ulfenkarn of its curse.
===Notable Locations===
*'''Corpse-Gardens''': The domain of Gorslav the Gravekeeper, these charnel pits and mausoleums act as a prime recruiting grounds for the various Vampire Lords and Necromancers.
*'''Shadowed Crypt-halls''': Once some kind of vaulted location, now only eerie music and screams of agony can be heard from its depths.
*'''The Clot''': This canal encircles the inner walls of the city, though instead of water it’s now filled with rotting gore.
*'''Ghiestgale''': A large gate that only the Nighthaunt reside within.
*'''Ven Alten Skydocks''': A former Kharadron outpost that served as Mournhold’s center of commerce prior to its fall. It was also co-owned and operated by the ven Alten household, before the majority of the house willingly took the Blood Kiss.
*'''Hangman’s Copse''': This used to be an embassy created by the Sylvaneth, now it’s just a roost for bats.
*'''Vharngate''': The fortified headquarters of the Ulfenwatch, the Deathrattle guardians of the city, who are overseen by Watch Captain Halgrim.
*'''Barrowmark''': This scholarly building was once the home of the Pact Mortalis, a brotherhood of death wizards. When the city was usurped by the vampires, Torgillius the Chamberlain betrayed the Pact and converted Barrowmark into his own twisted laboratory.
*'''The Screaming Spires''': A collection of shabby towers that serve as the roost for the Vyrkos Blood-born, who give the Spires their ‘screaming’ epitaph.
*'''The Ebon Citadel''': The gothic picturesque capital of Ulfenkarn and Radukar the Wolf‘s seat of power. It was built atop the island of Szargorond, with the rest of the city being built around it.

==Characters==
===Agents of Defiance (Heroes)===
*'''Jelsen Darrock''': A former member of the Order of Azyr who was excommunicated on account of his miles wide sadistic streak and lack of morals (the latter of which he is actually proud of). He’s fully equipped with Van Helsing styled gear to wipe out the vampires from the city.
*'''Qulathis the Exile''': Originally from Ghyran, this Kurnothi Huntress swore vengeance upon all vampires after they torched her home of Enga’la Weald. Her thirst for retribution was so strong in fact that her clan’s elders forbade her from her quest, leading to her self-imposed exile. Her quiver is filled with arrows carved from the Oak of Ages Past, which is a revered site for all Aelves and AoS’ take of the Tree of Life/Oak of Ages concept.
*'''Emelda Braskov''': A Freeguild General who led the defense against the Wolf’s takeover of the city. Her army was slaughtered and raised to bolster the Ulfenwatch, forcing her to retreat. Now Emelda fights with a grim resolve; either she’ll free her home from death’s clutches or die trying.
*'''Dagnai Holdenstock''': Also called the “Trade-Commodore”, this enterprising Kharadron is known through many skyports for his liberal interpretations of the Code and tendency to chart voyages to hostile filled death traps. So Ulfenkarn is the perfect place for him. It was his ship that brings the current the band of heroes to Ulfenkarn.
*'''Glaurio ven Alten III''': A brazen noble and last living member of the ven Alten line after his cousins all submitted to the Wolf and became the Vrykos Blood-born. He’s a master duelist who prefers going toe-to-toe against single enemies with sword and pistol.
*'''Cleona Zeitengale''': A devotee from the Cult of the Comet. She foresaw Mournhold’s demise at vampire hands and warned against it, though no one listened to her. She’s now the last of her order still among the living, determined to cleanse the city of all corruption with Sigmar’s holy light. So basically she’s the Sisters of Sigmar from Mordhiem as a single character.
*'''Octren Glimscry''': Former colleague of Torgillus the Chamberlain in the Pact Mortalis, this amethyst mage seeks to undo his coworker’s dark machinations using his own studies in the nature of death magic.
*'''Brutogg Corpse-Eater''': Ogor mercenary who likes the taste of dead meat. Pretty simple background, but regardless, the other heroes are glad to have Brutogg’s mace on their side.

===Overlords of Ulfenkarn (Villains)===
*'''Gorslav the Gravekeeper''': The gaunt and ghastly overseer of the Corpse-Gardens. He makes it his duty to bury the living six feet under so they’ll die and then rise again as new undead minions. Little is known about Gorslav (not helping is his eternal silence), but his freakish ability to appear seemingly anywhere and everywhere leads some to speculate the Gravekeeper is actually part of a larger order of horrid zombie-makers.
*'''Watch Captain Halgrim''': Known as Oleksandr Halgrim in life, he pledged himself and his troops to the vampiric overlords during the initial purge of any disgruntled nobility. His troops were repulsed by his traitorous actions and bound his arms and legs together and left him to be eaten alive by sewer rats. He still serves the vampires and necromancers to this day as a mindless automaton in charge of the skeletal Ulfenwatch.
*'''Torgillius the Chamberlain''': One part spymaster and another part mad scientist, this Necromancer is one of the most important individuals in the city due to his gravesand studies and constant tinkering with the undead form to create new life. He can project his will onto the various diseased animals that roam the city ad use them as his eyes and ears.
*'''Radukar the Wolf''': The savior/usurper/overlord of Ulfenkarn. A large and brutal vampire lord with a fondness for pelts to match his werewolf-like mutations. As a mortal, he once plundered the coasts aboard his vessel the ''Impaler’s Gift'' and his Ogor crew, until he came upon the tomb of the vampiric emperor Morkan. Radukar slew and skinned the two headed wolf Vilnas that guarded the tomb and claimed an enchanted blade that lay inside, all to prove himself worthy of the Blood Kiss. Radukar’s raids became more violent and gruesome after his turn, culminating in his arrival at the city of Mournhold which he “saved” from daemonic invasion...only to take it as his own and rename it to Ulfenkarn.

===Monsters===
*'''Bat Swarms and Corpse Rats''': Pests, vermin, and all around nuisances on their own. But that’s the trick; they are never alone. Packs of flesh crazed bats and rats stalk the streets of Ulfenkarn, bowing only to their undead masters who use them as outlets for clairvoyant powers.
*'''Deadwalker Zombies''': The common undead of Ulfenkarn are all decrepit hunched beings with tombstones and coffin-lids stuck into their backs. The various corpse gardens that these Deadwalkers originate from are described as vaguely sentient, using the zombies as puppets to collect more “sustenance.”
*'''Ulfenwatch''': Once the standing guard of Mournhold, these mindless skeletons still keep an attentive vigilance over their city. They patrol the streets at all times and are ready to strike down any living soul that dares oppose the Wolf’s rule.
*'''Kosargi Nightguard''': Ogor vampires that once served as the pirate minions of Radukar, now eternally bound to him as his muscle bound enforcers.
*'''Vargskyr''':
*'''Vrykos Blood-born''': Vampiric thralls sired by Radukar the Wolf. These half feral creatures serve as sentries and hunters for the Wolf, taking great pleasure in assassinating anyone their master deems unpleasant.
[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Games Workshop]]

Be'lakor

2021-03-07T23:53:18Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

[[File:Be'larkor First Greater Daemon.png|350px|thumb|right|]]

'''Be'lakor the Dark Master''' is the first (and debatably only) [[Daemon Prince]] of [[Chaos Undivided]]. Of course, this claim of "Only" is suspect with the unclear status of [[Lorgar]] and [[Perturabo]]'s alignments, as well as whether [[Nemeroth]]'s still alive. Bellator means war in <s>Latin</s> High Gothic.

Due to his nature as a daemon prince of chaos, he's been sighted in both [[Warhammer Fantasy Battles]] as well as [[Warhammer 40,000]]. In both, he began as an ancient warlord from ages past who fought in the name of the [[Chaos Gods]] before they decided to elevate him as a Daemon Prince. Then he got cocky, thought himself better than his four owners, and then got royally bitchslapped back into line.

==Warhammer Fantasy==
Be'lakor was one of the earliest Chaos warlords, leading vast hordes of Daemons to ravage the world long before the Elves rose up against them. He impressed the Chaos Gods so much they turned him into a [[Daemon Prince]], the first time they ever did that to a mortal follower of Chaos Gods. However, his four parents began bickering for ownership, each offering some presents in exchange for his loyalty. He decided to then take all their presents and fled to the mortal realms without doing any of their favors. He came during the First Great War Against Chaos, bending many to his will and carving a warpath - unwittingly carrying out the tasks the four set before him. As time carried on, more Daemon Princes were raised, siphoning the power and attention that was once exclusively his and eventually sparking a great war as these new princes sought to carve out territory. This distracted team Chaos from stopping the elves in [[Ulthuan]] from creating the Great Vortex, thus stemming the tide of badstuffs spilling into the world.

As punishment, the big four made him become the one to crown Everchosens of Chaos while never getting to become the Everchosen himself, which pissed him off to no end. This is a retcon though, as originally Be'lakor got arrogant and thought he was better than the Chaos Gods, so Tzeentch served him a big piece of humble pie by denying him a physical body and forcing him to crown each Everchosen. At one point Be'lakor co-opted this by possessing one of the Everchosen candidates (who became known as the Shadowlord), but Be'lakor's power destroyed the host body and he was stuck back in the role. In the expansion Shadows of Albion, Be'lakor was the main bad guy there, manipulating people to take the power and artifacts of Albion for himself, before failing and abandoning that plan.

With the latest Everchosen, [[Archaon]], Be'lakor was once again forced to crown the Everchosen of Chaos with the final artifact. Be'lakor played a big part in the [[Storm of Chaos]] campaign, but that has since been retconned. Although he still shows up from time to time, he no longer appears to be quite as powerful as he once was, although he is still a Daemon Prince of [[Chaos Undivided]], which is a massive accomplishment in and of itself. In newer lore, he also took the form of a Norse warlord who conducted a raid on a Nordlander town where he raped a woman and fathered a child who would go on to become [[Archaon]].

During [[The End Times]], Be'lakor was all set to return to his former glory and then some, plotting to become the fifth Chaos God by breaking into ''Kazad Drengazi'', the Fortress of the First Slayer ([[Grimnir]], natch), a temple containing the Chaos Gate that Grimnir used to get to the Realm of Chaos in the first place. Be'lakor used the power of the Chaos Gate to break Tzeentch's curse, regain his physical form, and summon four greater daemons, one of each of the Chaos Gods; two of them had had their shit ruined by [[Gotrek_%26_Felix|Gotrek and Felix]] once before. Be'lakor and his posse planned to backstab Grimnir from behind, at which point Be'lakor would take all of Grimnir's power and ascend to become the fifth Chaos God, but Gotrek and Felix showed up and wrecked Be'lakor and the Bloodthirster, while Grimnir kicked the asses of the Keeper of Secrets, Lord of Change, and Great Unclean One. It looked like Be'lakor and Gotrek's duel could go either way at first, then Gotrek ''hit Be'lakor with the Bloodthirster'' and kicked all their asses back to the Realm of Chaos, ruining Be'lakor's plans.

He later caused mischief in Athel Loren by manipulating the Khainites and the more xenophobic forest spirits to attack the elves, but got driven away by the elves armies and the new Incarnate of Light - Tyrion. Though he did play a major role in dooming the world by freeing Mannfred von Carstein from his imprisonment and ensuring the Chaos Gods learnt of Lileath's haven. During his attempt to slay Lileath and consume her divine power, he got captured by Malekith, interrogated under threat of being Nagash's guinea pig if he didn't co-operate and was then trapped in a magic ruby by [[Alarielle]] for the rest of eternity. One true Everchosen my ass!

Somehow he managed to escape into [[Age of Sigmar|the new world]]. While there are hints that he ruled Ulgu before the god formerly known as Malekith rose to power, Be'lakor's first appearance had him get his ass royally handed to him by the [[Lizardmen]] dive bombing him with Pterodactyl riders. Embarrassed by this poor showing, he has since taken into hiding from the spotlight once more. That said, [[Archaon]] seems to be following his footsteps, as Archie's been elevated to the "High Marshal of Chaos", which gives him almost free reign to control or kill the champions of Chaos while still claiming no exclusive loyalty to any of the four (now five with the [[Horned Rat]]'s ascension) - the only difference being that he's still arguably human. In Wrath of the Everchosen, it's revealed he's the Starscream to Archaon's Megatron, forming his own faction of Chaos followers with the (kinda-secret) goal of (eventually) overthrowing Archaon. Despite that, Bea'lakor worked with Archaon to defend the Eightpoints against the armies of Nagash, managing to personally slay the Mortarch Lady Olynder (As much as one can slay a Mortarch), sending her soul back to Shyish.

He's also got some big plans brewing, as he's got a new model incoming and is the star of the next Broken Realms book after Teclis'.

==Warhammer 40,000==
In [[Warhammer 40,000]], Be'lakor was the first Daemon Prince, as well as the first (and allegedly "last", but there have been plenty more since) Daemon Prince created through the action of all four Chaos Gods ([[Derp|apparently]] [[Lorgar]] and [[Perturabo]] were special exceptions or something (though knowing Pert, I wouldn't be surprised if he was 75% Khornate or something and 0% Slaanesh considering what the [[Emperor's Children|Emperor's Cunts]] wanted to do with Pert)), and quickly proved to be difficult to control even at the best of times. Apparently his creation gave him the Daemonic equivalent of daddy issues and now he spends most of his time trying to kill all other Champions of Chaos, including other Daemon Princes. The Chaos Gods tolerate him mostly because his wild-card status makes him an excellent pawn in their power struggles, something Be'lakor himself is completely unaware of (as he thinks he still has free will and just wants to cement his position as Chaos' sole champion).

Recently, he's shown up to "help" with [[Abaddon]]'s [[Black Crusade]]s by giving him [[Troll|seemingly helpful advice that often leads to unexpectedly heavy losses]], all in an attempt to undermine his credibility (well, more so than he does on his own). In a stunning display of insight, Abaddon saw through his ruse, but allowed him to remain within the Black Legion in order to keep tabs on him and better prepare for his sudden but inevitable betrayal. The Imperium isn't even that aware that he exists, as Be'lakor has been very careful about concealing his presence from history (with the unwitting help of a Magos who learned just enough about him to know that he exists, but not enough to realize that he's a Daemon Prince).

He's also been shown to be in contact with [[Ahzek Ahriman|Ahriman]]. No word on whether Ahriman has accepted his offer of being made his greatest champion in exchange for his service, however, but seeing as Ahzek rejects even Tzeentch's own offerings to be HIS chosen champion, still thinks he's independent of any god (despite having Tzeentch's mark on the tabletop), and actively tries to become the fifth Chaos god himself, it's a good bet he told Be'lakor to go fuck himself with someone else's force sword.

During Gathering Storm Be'lakor helped the [[Iron Warriors]] invade the [[Imperial Fists]] star fortress the Phalanx, attempting to upstage Abaddon by using it to attack Terra directly. The Imperial Fists turned the Phalanx's own weapons on the chaos-tainted regions, destroying them and killing most of the Iron Warriors, then the Legion of the Damned arrived. Be'lakor himself got his ass kicked by [[Tor Garadon]] (before he was even given a model!). This abject failure was unfortunately the only time Be'lakor was ever really relevant to Warhammer 40k's plot. In general Be'lakor never really is shown doing much and seems to only exist in 40k because daemons in both settings have to cross-over.

==Total Warhammer 3==

It is implied that Be'lakor is going to be in Game 3 representing the Daemons of Chaos Undivided, considering that the existence of nine legendary lords was confirmed - 4 of them will probably be for [[Kislev]] and [[Cathay]], another 4 will represent [[Chaos Gods]], and the other one is currently unknown.

As he leads the Undivided Subfaction he will presumably have access to all Daemons from 4.5 (included the few Undivided Daemons) rosters

==Trivia==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOiQOOrj-fY He has a kickass band]

{{Daemons-Characters}}

Cities of Sigmar

2021-03-07T03:46:32Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B: Redid Excelsis and Vindicarium sections

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Cities of Sigmar|Logo=Empire.jpg|Alliance=Order|Motto=For the <s>Empire</s> God-King!}}

The '''Cities of Sigmar''', also known as the '''Free Cities''' or '''Azyrites''', are essentially the “normal” people of the Mortal Realms under Sigmar's rule, although a minority when compared with the vast population of the territories taken by Chaos, they are probably the most numerous representatives of the Grand Alliance of Order. Humans who haven't become immortal due to having lightning jammed up their ass. Duardin who don't go into battle half naked and on fire or live in steampunk sky cities. Aelves who don't live underwater and eat souls, don't come from a misandric murdercult or aren't made of light and maths.

Each City itself is MASSIVE, comprised of numerous districts and subcultures, to the point where some could be considered their own nations. So while each City maybe known for a particular thing, it is very likely that there is an aspect of each race active in every city.

==History==

===Origins===
The story of how humans, Duardin (dwarves) and Aelves (elves) of various allegiances and creeds are somehow living together in massive cities without murderising each other is a long and expansive story that traces its way back to the closing days of the Age of Myth. Right before Chaos kicked in the proverbial door and began running rough shod across the Realms, the various mortal races lived in their respective golden ages. With the help of primarily Grungni, Teclis and Alarielle, Sigmar established countless human kingdoms and cities, with innovation, learning and cultural development blossoming at an exponential rate. The Duardin had a healthy relationship with humans as always, with a portion living alongside them, but most still taking up residence in their mountain fortresses or splitting off as the newly emerged children of Grimnir, the Fyreslayers. The Aelves enjoyed a resurgence from their initially minuscule numbers when discovered by Sigmar, and began to slowly thrive once again when the various Aelven gods joined the pantheon and began the work to restore their race to its former glory.

Of course, all of this was not to last once Chaos got wise to what was going on in the Mortal Realms. The Gods of Chaos began to secretly bore their way into the kingdoms, cities and tribes across the Realms, slowly influencing portions of the population with promises of power and immortality, and piece by piece sowing discord. When the time came to strike, the Mortal Realms were taken completely by surprise and nearly buckled under the sudden upheaval. However, the armies of Order managed to rally and held the forces of Chaos at bay for a time...That is until Archaon made his entrance into the Realms. The forces of Order began to falter and little by little they gave ground to the ever intensifying onslaught. The final blow for Order came at the Allpoints, at the disastrous confrontation that became known as the Battle of the Burning Sky. Here, the gods of Order fractured through betrayal, panic and mistrust and by the end of the slaughter Sigmar had lost Ghal Maraz, his pantheon and the most strategically important location in all the Mortal Realms. Thus, the Age of Myth came to a catastrophic end, bringing forth the Age of Chaos.

===Exodus===
With the Allpoints granting the armies of Chaos access to all of the Mortal Realms save Azyr, it did not take long for their ravenous hordes to overrun the land. The following collapse of civilization across the Realms can only be described as not falling apart, but disintegrating in its own terror.

The last of the Duardin Karaks in Chamon were overrun as the forces of Tzeentch swept across the land, the survivors reluctantly fleeing to the Gates of Azyr, with a small contingent escaping to the highest peaks of the Realm of Metal to an [[Kharadron Overlords|uncertain fate]]. Many Duardin Kings, prideful and stubborn in their sense of honor, refused to evacuate and chose to remain in their Holds, sealing their fate when the doors to Azyr were finally sealed. It is said that Grungni cried tears of molten lead when he saw how few of his children had managed to escape. Thus, the Dispossessed came to be.

The Aelven devotees of Alarielle desperately held on with their Sylvaneth comrades as Nurgle's rot and pestilence began to seep into Ghyran. However, as the Sylvaneth groves outside the Realm of Life began to be wiped out, their numbers and their reinforcements began to dwindle. As their defenses reached the breaking point, the Aelves had to make a choice; either stay with their beloved Goddess and her children and face almost certain annihilation, or abandon them in their direst hour and try to flee to Azyr before the gates closed. They chose the latter, and from that day, Alarielle and the Sylvaneth have never fully forgiven the Wanderers for their abandonment.

All the remaining human, duardin and aelf empires that were not already destroyed or besieged made a bee-line toward any realmgates to Azyr that were still open. Many didn't survive the journey, being butchered by chaos armies along the way. Many others however managed to reach Azyr and safety, others were unfortunately stranded in the other realms when Sigmar finally closed the gates as the forces of Chaos were getting too close to breaching them. These unfortunate souls either swore fealty to Chaos in return for their lives, died fighting against the maruading hordes or were forced to adopt a nomadic lifestyle for the remainder of the Age of Chaos, always on the run or in hiding from the legios of Chaos. This wasn't the end of tribulations for the survivors who have reached Azyr however. Chaos cultists and double agents had managed to slip into Azyrheim among the refugees, forcing Sigmar's witch hunters to route them out (with often lethal results). Around this time the Aelven order of the Shadowblades is believed to have first become active, systematically purging Azyr further of potential threats to Sigmar's rule.

Sigmar realized that many of the refugees themselves, having malice or deception in their hearts, could be susceptible of falling to Chaos in the future. This moved the God-King to take the uneasy task of leading a mass purge of many of the peoples that had fled to Azyr. Countless supposedly innocent souls that Sigmar deemed corruptible were slaughtered by the agents of Azyr, even those that could be suspected of treachery were not spared. Only after this extermination campaign did Sigmar deemed that Azyr was safe from further corruption. Whether he did the right thing or not is up for debate, but the fluff continuously mentions that Azyr was the only Mortal Realm free from the taint of Chaos.

For the next 500 or so years the peoples of Azyr went along with their lives, but whether they be from the various cultures of the armies of the Free Guilds or the Sinister Knights of the Order Serpentis they now all shared a united goal. Which was to rebuild their forces for a counter-invasion against Chaos. After centuries of preparation and having the Stormcast Eternal infraestructure mostly finished, the various armies of Azyr were ready to reopen the realmgates and retake their ancient territories. For many this was indeed almost a relief, as while Azyr was definitely a better place to live than any of the other Mortal Realms, life under Sigmar's rule wasn't all perfect. Sigmar fearing potential Chaos infiltration kept a rather draconian amount of control on the various cities and settlements in Azyr. From constant fear of the Order of Azyr and potential knives in backs from the Shadowblades, not to mention strict legal codes, many of the peoples from the other realms chafed somewhat in this highly ordered society. So when offered a chance to retake their old homes many were happy to give it a try.

===Reconquest===
With Sigmar's Tempest opening the Gates of Azyr what followed a massive undertaking as the combined might of all the peoples of Azyr began preparations for Sigmar's reconquest of the Realms. The sheer level of planning, logistics, training and dealmaking that went down in this period cannot be understated. Whether it was noble families looking to reclaim their ancestral homelands, outcasts going to wherever offered a fresh start, or perhaps a deal made between various parties for certain benefits in the reclaimed territories in exchange for assistance. The Regiments of the Freeguild were raised and assigned to accompany settlers to their new homes in the Realms. Duardin of the Ironweld Guilds and the Dispossessed Clans offered up their expertise in engineering as well as firepower, often in exchange for trading or mining rights in the charted territories. Wanderer Enclaves saw much demand for their knowledge of scouting the wilderness, and in turn requested territory to settle and roam freely in.

The initial areas for the first cities formed around the stormkeeps established by the Stormcast Eternals after the Realmgate Wars. From these intial settlements cities began to form around them. One obvious example being Hammerhal, which would go on to be the largest city and defacto capital of Sigmar’s growing empire. Other cities were subsequently founded usually near realmgates or areas of great strategic/economic importance (I.e Hallowheart, Tempest Eye, Excelsior and Vindicarum). The Living City was established sometime later by Allarielle herself after great victories against Nurgle’s forces and stands as a testeament to her renewed alliance with Sigmar. Later would come the establishment of industrial hub Greywater Fastness would become a seat for many of the Ironweld and Disspossesed clans, and Phoenicium, one of few Aelf dominated Cities of Sigmar. These expansions did not come easy however. Millions gave their lives in their foundation and the subsequent wars to maintain these great bastions.

Roughly 100 years after the Stormcast Eternals first set down in the Realms, these initial cities have greatly expanded upon themselves, managing to carve out their own territories in the Realms. However even with all this, much of the realms have not yet been liberated. It is estimated barely a tenth of the pre-Age of Chaos territory has been reclaimed thus far, with the rest either in Chaos hands, heavily contested, held by neutral parties, or no one, with none yet claiming these wild areas. Due to this, the cities must fight hard for any territorial gains they can manage, along with sending colonists (both willing and otherwise) out to found new cities. These cities tend to be on frontier zones, forcing them to often deal with more heavier chaos or destruction incursions, along with the deadly native wildlife or even native peoples who aren't necessarily happy with newcomers trying to colonize their ancestral lands that they defended all through the Age of Chaos. In fact, an unfortunate result of this has been the occasional Stromcast or Freeguild force having to do the uncomfortable task of subjugating or even wiping out native tribes that would refuse to compromise on these cities’ foundings. Some examples of these frontier cities include Anvilgard in Aqshy, which has quickly amassed a dark reputation from its internal dealings, or Izalend in Ghur which has to be on constant alert due to the dangerous area it inhabits. Not all of these frontier cities survive, most are either destroyed from invaders or some other calamity and must be abandoned. More than one city has suffered this fate since the first cities were established.

However many others continue to prosper and continue to expand their territory to slowly retake the realms from Chaos' grasp. Due to the dangerous nature of the realms, the mere act of traveling can be dangerous. Thus while all cities are nominally under Sigmar’s domain, many often have to rely on governing themselves for the most part, as communication with the capital Hammerhal can be slow and unreliable and Stormcast sometimes not being able to lend assistance due to being stretched thin expanding the God-King’s borders. Many have to establish their own form of government and trade zones. All cities follow the government structure laid out by Azyrhiem, however many make variations to how a city’s government is made up and how they conduct warfare due to local stigmas and situations. This leads to each city developing unique cultural identities, and since not all cities actively coordinate with each other, entire wars and new city foundings can occur without some nations even being aware of it, even if they are technically on the same faction. This is why organizations such as the Swifthawk Agents are so important to the cities, as speedy communication can often mean the difference between annihilation and salvation for threatened cities.

===Broken Realms and Insurrection===

--Under Construction...---

==Subfactions==
The Cities of Sigmar are by their nature cosmopolitan places, as many different cultures across the realms fled to Azyr only to recolonize the lands when the Age of Sigmar arrived. As such, when war comes they have a vast diversity of military forces.

*'''[[Stormcast Eternals]]''': Yes, they're here too. Most Free Cities are built around a Stormkeep, and many are named after their founding Stormhost (Hammers of Sigmar in Hammerhal, Anvils of the Heldenhammer in Anvilgard, etc.). Have a bad habit of going too far when trying to purge Chaos from the city, leading to anti-Stormcast resentment, which in turn leads to more purges. But in the nicer cities like Brightspear they can be [[Salamanders|pretty chill and hang around with civillians]].
*'''Freeguild''': The core of the old [[The Empire (Warhammer Fantasy)|Empire]]'s forces, chiefly soldiers and Demigryphs. They are the standing armies and militias of the Cities, each descended from twelve military companies that originally fled to Azyr. A City can possess multiple Freeguilds, each one with their own specialties and strategies in warfare, making them sorta like the Imperial Guard for AoS. Lore mentions that their ranks include Duardin and Aelves as well, meaning you easily use squatted High Elf/Dwarf units as proxy Freeguild units (Swordmasters as Greatswords, Thunderers as Handgunners, etc).
*'''Devoted of Sigmar''': The Old "Church of Sigmar" faction now reduced to only the [[flagellant]]. It’s incorporated into the city with quite some critical roles. Priests of Sigmar tend to the moral and spiritual health of the human population, and when a internal threat arises, it is the work of the witch hunters from the Order of Azyr to root it out, while flagellants have to process around the city countryside, spilling their blood to destroy thd chaos corruption in the land and let the city expand. Unfortunately only the latter are usable on tabletop (in a Cities of Sigmar list. The warpriests, war-altars and witch hunters have their own faction ; The Devoted of Sigmar. They can be allied in).
*'''Dispossessed''': Duardin who have lost their old Karaks in the Age of Chaos and have to live with the umgi and elgi now. Their primary goal in the greater Cities is providing defensive fortifications for the other factions, using their legendary shield walls and stubbornness to hold the line at all costs.
*'''Collegiate Arcane''': All the Empire's Wizards, including their giant engines. Sadly, no High Elf wizards made the cut, nor did their dragons. They are essentially a souped version of the Colleges of Magic, compromised of powerful Battlemages who have trained for decades in eight floating towers called the Towers of the Eight Winds (I see what you did there GW), each one focused on a certain Realm’s variety of magic.
*'''Ironweld Arsenal''': All the Dwarf and Empire war machines and vehicles. This includes letting people ride those tanks.
*'''Darkling Covens''': Cults of Sorceresses and their brainwashed Aelven minions. Rumored to have brainwashed more than just aelves so they can secretly manipulate cities from the shadows.
*'''Phoenix Temple''': Yes, these silent dead 'ard bastards are still around. They now worship the Ur-Phoenix instead of Asuryan. They were once broken Aelves (physically or mentally broken) who received the healing warmth of a phoenix, thus they were reborn as devout warrior monks. Members can come from any Aelven faction, there are even some Phoenix Guard who were former Daughters of Khaine.
*'''Order Serpentis''': An ancient order of tyrannical dragon-riding Aelves who lost most of their dragons in the Age of Chaos. Undaunted by this, they started hiring Sorceresses of the Darkling Covens to genetically engineer hideous part-dragon monsters to act as replacements.
*'''Wanderers''': Nomadic wood aelves from Ghyran who fled to Azyr. Upon returning they seek to restore balance to the nature they abandoned, even if many of their Sylvaneth allies despise them as traitors. Their role in the CoS army is to be pathfinders and vanguard forces, scouting ahead of the main fighting bulk to chart secure passages.
*'''Shadowblades''': Secretive Aelf assassins who worship Malerion and usually function as a secret police force within the cities.
*'''Scourge Privateers''': Descendants of a cruel slaver empire that once terrorized the seas. Now that they have to coexist with the civillians they once preyed upon, they cooled down a bit and became beast tamers who regularly hunt monsters and then sell them (whole or in pieces) to their allies. Still enjoy doing shady pirate stuff under the books, though (not that anyone is complaining when its fucking Chaos scum who are on the receving end of it for once). They still live on Black Arks, much like their Old World counterparts, except these Arks are made from binding together the bones and shells of colossal sea creatures.

==Notable Cities==
===With rules===
*'''Hammerhal''': Hammerhal is technically two cities, Hammerhal Ghyra and Hammerhal Aqsha, linked as one by the Stormrift Realmgate. The Ghyran side exports crops and lumber to Aqshy, and lava is channeled from the Aqshy side to form a protective moat. As it is home to the Hammers of Sigmar, [[Ultramarines|GREATEST OF THEM ALL]] among stormhosts, so too the people of Hammerhal seek to prove themselves as the most eminent of the Free Cities.
*'''Greywater Fastness''': Despite hailing from the Realm of Life, this city is pretty choked with smoke and industry, as they focus heavily on war machines. Literally the entire outer regions of the city are just glorified testing grounds for their weapons, riddled with craters and no vegetation aside from withered skeletal trees. This makes them rather friendly towards the [[Kharadron Overlords]], but not so much with the [[Sylvaneth]]. They were nearly starved out by the Sylvaneth until Alarielle herself arranged a compromise, and she only tolerates them because they hate Chaos and are great at bombarding them back to the Warp. What few people know though is that the city’s lead designer, Valium Maliti, is a actually the Changeling in disguise, and purposely created this industrial wasteland in Ghyran to cause tension between the Sylvaneth and Sigmar.
*'''Anvilgard''': [https://youtu.be/SYExETbLL1E?t=84 In a nutshell, basically.] Port city by a constantly erupting volcano and a constantly burning-down-but-rapidly-regrowing jungle. To hold off the jungle from reclaiming the city's territory, they spray mass amounts of basically weedkiller everywhere (which doesn't seem - thus far - to have any long-term consequences on people), which covers the city in a gloomy grey atmosphere. Y'know, the kind of shadows where criminal syndicates thrive - and thrive they do. As in, anyone who's anyone has underworld connections, though it's kept just enough on the down-low so Lord-Veritants and other inquisitorial types don't raise a stink. In recent years, [[Morathi]] has annexed it (renaming it to '''Har Kuron'''), splitting the frontier city in half between those who sided with the [[Daughters of Khaine]] and everyone else who remained loyal to Sigmar. Sigmar learned of the treachery and sent a Stormcast army to liberate the city, but a surprise parley between the Celestant-Prime and Morathi led to the Stormcast withdrawing and ceding the city to Morathi in exchange for... something.
*'''Hallowheart''': The wizard's city. Being founded by the Hallowed Knights at the bottom of a gigantic crystal cave (where lived a mutated gigantic dragon of Tzeentch, who got hammered) this city has an magical focus and the central core of Collegiate Arcane. Don't mind the continuous daemon invasion perpetrated by Tzeentch and company, or the strange whispers that promise you great power and wealth, but report those facts to the Devoted of Sigmar for a handsome reward. {{BLAM}}
*'''The Living City''': A city shaped from trees and rock by [[Alarielle]] herself that symbolizes the alliance between her and Sigmar. As such, this city allies itself with [[Sylvaneth]] capable of putting aside their grudges towards everything that isn't a tree. Also where Alarielle pardoned the Wanderers for their cowardice during the Age of Chaos, so this is their home base.
*'''The Phoenicium''': The main city of the Phoenix Temple, it's at the foot of a big tree-mountain with a goofy name that avalanched sap over the area, trapping warriors in amber. In the Age of Sigmar, a host of phoenix birds thawed the sap into a golden mist that persists ever since - and if enemies that get too close enter the mist, they get trapped in amber, which then becomes another block on the ramparts. So, yeah, picture an amber wall filled with "oh crap"-faced Chaos warriors, greenskins, and spooks - that's how The Phoenicium do. Why nobody already tricked Archaon to attack this city, turning him into a statue and win the war is anyone's guess... but then again Archaon is a god so it would only weaken him and not by much (It is great at keeping Thanquol away)
*'''Tempest's Eye''': A city on top of a mountain that has close trade and military ties to the Kharadron Overlords. Since the Tempest Lords stationed there were all recruited from former nobility, they're the only city that is directly ruled by its Stormcast Eternals.
* '''Misthåvn''': The “City of Scoundrels” was created in Ulgu from a collection of massive ships from varying races all lashed together. This unique design means that Misthåvn can divide into its various components and move along the coast of Cape Tendbrax. Rather than having districts, the city is comprised of different armadas, each overseen by a Scourge Privateer Fleetmaster/Admiral. It’s infamous among the Azyrites for its corrupt policies, underhanded combat strategies, and a very lucrative illegal narcotics market. The native populace takes a spiteful pride in this reputation, though they still do their best to make sure Sigmar doesn’t call for the city’s purging.

===Without rules===
*'''Azyrheim''': The largest city in [[Azyr]] and de-facto capital of the entire the Grand Alliance of Order. Azyrheim's also has a scifi IN SPACE look, further reinforced by some fluff which states Azyr has no day but an eternal night filled with stars, moons and other astral phenomena, another important feature of the city is the Towers of the Eight Winds, massive floating structures where the Collegiate Arcane train mages and research magic. Sigmar's obsession with keeping Azyr free of the taint of Chaos has lead to this place being rather authoritarian, as in if they catch you performing crimes they implant you with runes that burn out all thoughts of disloyalty out of your mind. On the other hand, it’s not like the freaking gods don’t know if you’re guilty and if you don’t want to be implanted then just follow the law set by one of the few deities that isn't a complete sociopath. They aren’t crazy or stupid under Sigmar so there isn’t really a reason not to.
*'''Settler's Gain''': Located in the continent of Xintil in [[Hysh]], Settler's Gain notably has solar-powered automata doing all the menial labor, freeing the populace to focus on intellectual pursuits. The city is run by a meritocratic caste system where your status is based on passing philosophical, theological and arcane tests. Truly the most utopian of all Free Cities. Pay no attention to the fact that passing these tests requires so many years of study that only Aelves can live long enough to ascend to the highest ranks, resulting in a ruling class of Lumineth reigning over the human peasants. Those questioning the perfect society of <s>Settler's Gain</s> Yllurai Xhen will be assigned to the Enlightenment Prisms for re-education.
*'''Brightspear''': A city near the coast of [[Aqshy|The Great Parch]] that was built on top of an ancient realmgate that could travel to any of the nine realms. Above the city are orbs that each contain a college of magic dedicated to one of the winds. The one dedicated to chaos was destroyed, but the echoes still remain. This city is expanded upon in great detail in the Soulbound starter set.
*'''Excelsis''': A [[Ghur|Ghurish]] city built around the Spear of Mallus, an big ass shard of the World-That-Was that fell into Ghur. Shards broken off this object can be used to see the future, and the resulting "Glimmerings" have become the local currency. Too bad they have to live in terror of the Knights Excelsior, one of the most brutal and authoritarian Stormhosts. Too bad the Knights are doing huge crackdowns after a big Tzeentch cultist insurrection (detailed in the book City of Secrets). Too bad that all the fortune teller guilds are discovering from the Glimmerings that a gigantic army of all Destruction races lead by Gordrakk himself is heading towards them.
*'''Vindicarum''': The city of the Celestial Vindicators in [[Chamon]]. If you thought Excelsis was bad, Vindicarium is worse. How worse? When the citizens rioted in protest of the Celestial Vindicator's harsh laws, the Stormcast ended up killing three quarters of the city's population. Keep in mind every City of Sigmar is fucking massive, so its quite possible literally millions died. All the remaining survivors became super pious members of the Devoted of Sigmar, equally terrified of the taint of Chaos and the wrath of their overlords. Suffice to say the reports of this incident have only served to even further increase the fear and distrust the common man has for the Stormcast.
*'''Lethis''': Technically has rules in the form of the “Lethisian Defenders” list from Forbidden Power, but not actually part of the Cities of Sigmar allegiance. This city is based in Shyish next to Lake Lethis, a lake whose waters are cursed to take away memories. This water is actually one of their most valuable exports, as a lot of people in the Mortal Realms have [[Grimdark|traumatic memories they'd rather forget]]. Also home to a Stormvault which held [[Katakros]], who was released when the city was invaded by [[Lady Olynder]]'s Legion of Grief.
*'''Edassa''': Mentioned during Gotrek's adventures in “Realmslayer” and “Ghoulslayer”, and the home city of the character Jordainn. An African themed kingdom located in Aqshy, it sits at crossroads with two other kingdoms and city states, all of them part of a mutual pact funding the garrisons of forts and towns that run the length of the region's roads. [[Celestial Lions|Have a Lion motif in their armor as well as in their battlecry.]]
*'''Westreach and Eastdale''': Twin cities built on an island in Shyish. Westreach is populated by Azyrites while Eastdale is controlled by the Reclaimed. Both cities work with each other though the former’s haughty attitude and the latter’s superstitions has lead to tension between the two. Both cities were built over the ruins/tombs of an ancient town called Belvegrod, and since this is Shyish both cities have a terrible [[Nighthaunt]] infestation. A warding protected the city from [[Lady Olynder]]’s full wrath, but through machinations that’d make Neferata proud, the Mortarch of Grief broke the wardings and razed the Twin Cities, her undead hordes consuming the living.

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}

Cities of Sigmar

2021-03-06T10:53:27Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B: Based on lore from Soulbound and the recent Broken Realms short story

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Cities of Sigmar|Logo=Empire.jpg|Alliance=Order|Motto=For the <s>Empire</s> God-King!}}

The '''Cities of Sigmar''', also known as the '''Free Cities''' or '''Azyrites''', are essentially the “normal” people of the Mortal Realms under Sigmar's rule, although a minority when compared with the vast population of the territories taken by Chaos, they are probably the most numerous representatives of the Grand Alliance of Order. Humans who haven't become immortal due to having lightning jammed up their ass. Duardin who don't go into battle half naked and on fire or live in steampunk sky cities. Aelves who don't live underwater and eat souls, don't come from a misandric murdercult or aren't made of light and maths.

Each City itself is MASSIVE, comprised of numerous districts and subcultures, to the point where some could be considered their own nations. So while each City maybe known for a particular thing, it is very likely that there is an aspect of each race active in every city.

==History==

===Origins===
The story of how humans, Duardin (dwarves) and Aelves (elves) of various allegiances and creeds are somehow living together in massive cities without murderising each other is a long and expansive story that traces its way back to the closing days of the Age of Myth. Right before Chaos kicked in the proverbial door and began running rough shod across the Realms, the various mortal races lived in their respective golden ages. With the help of primarily Grungni, Teclis and Alarielle, Sigmar established countless human kingdoms and cities, with innovation, learning and cultural development blossoming at an exponential rate. The Duardin had a healthy relationship with humans as always, with a portion living alongside them, but most still taking up residence in their mountain fortresses or splitting off as the newly emerged children of Grimnir, the Fyreslayers. The Aelves enjoyed a resurgence from their initially minuscule numbers when discovered by Sigmar, and began to slowly thrive once again when the various Aelven gods joined the pantheon and began the work to restore their race to its former glory.

Of course, all of this was not to last once Chaos got wise to what was going on in the Mortal Realms. The Gods of Chaos began to secretly bore their way into the kingdoms, cities and tribes across the Realms, slowly influencing portions of the population with promises of power and immortality, and piece by piece sowing discord. When the time came to strike, the Mortal Realms were taken completely by surprise and nearly buckled under the sudden upheaval. However, the armies of Order managed to rally and held the forces of Chaos at bay for a time...That is until Archaon made his entrance into the Realms. The forces of Order began to falter and little by little they gave ground to the ever intensifying onslaught. The final blow for Order came at the Allpoints, at the disastrous confrontation that became known as the Battle of the Burning Sky. Here, the gods of Order fractured through betrayal, panic and mistrust and by the end of the slaughter Sigmar had lost Ghal Maraz, his pantheon and the most strategically important location in all the Mortal Realms. Thus, the Age of Myth came to a catastrophic end, bringing forth the Age of Chaos.

===Exodus===
With the Allpoints granting the armies of Chaos access to all of the Mortal Realms save Azyr, it did not take long for their ravenous hordes to overrun the land. The following collapse of civilization across the Realms can only be described as not falling apart, but disintegrating in its own terror.

The last of the Duardin Karaks in Chamon were overrun as the forces of Tzeentch swept across the land, the survivors reluctantly fleeing to the Gates of Azyr, with a small contingent escaping to the highest peaks of the Realm of Metal to an [[Kharadron Overlords|uncertain fate]]. Many Duardin Kings, prideful and stubborn in their sense of honor, refused to evacuate and chose to remain in their Holds, sealing their fate when the doors to Azyr were finally sealed. It is said that Grungni cried tears of molten lead when he saw how few of his children had managed to escape. Thus, the Dispossessed came to be.

The Aelven devotees of Alarielle desperately held on with their Sylvaneth comrades as Nurgle's rot and pestilence began to seep into Ghyran. However, as the Sylvaneth groves outside the Realm of Life began to be wiped out, their numbers and their reinforcements began to dwindle. As their defenses reached the breaking point, the Aelves had to make a choice; either stay with their beloved Goddess and her children and face almost certain annihilation, or abandon them in their direst hour and try to flee to Azyr before the gates closed. They chose the latter, and from that day, Alarielle and the Sylvaneth have never fully forgiven the Wanderers for their abandonment.

All the remaining human, duardin and aelf empires that were not already destroyed or besieged made a bee-line toward any realmgates to Azyr that were still open. Many didn't survive the journey, being butchered by chaos armies along the way. Many others however managed to reach Azyr and safety, others were unfortunately stranded in the other realms when Sigmar finally closed the gates as the forces of Chaos were getting too close to breaching them. These unfortunate souls either swore fealty to Chaos in return for their lives, died fighting against the maruading hordes or were forced to adopt a nomadic lifestyle for the remainder of the Age of Chaos, always on the run or in hiding from the legios of Chaos. This wasn't the end of tribulations for the survivors who have reached Azyr however. Chaos cultists and double agents had managed to slip into Azyrheim among the refugees, forcing Sigmar's witch hunters to route them out (with often lethal results). Around this time the Aelven order of the Shadowblades is believed to have first become active, systematically purging Azyr further of potential threats to Sigmar's rule.

Sigmar realized that many of the refugees themselves, having malice or deception in their hearts, could be susceptible of falling to Chaos in the future. This moved the God-King to take the uneasy task of leading a mass purge of many of the peoples that had fled to Azyr. Countless supposedly innocent souls that Sigmar deemed corruptible were slaughtered by the agents of Azyr, even those that could be suspected of treachery were not spared. Only after this extermination campaign did Sigmar deemed that Azyr was safe from further corruption. Whether he did the right thing or not is up for debate, but the fluff continuously mentions that Azyr was the only Mortal Realm free from the taint of Chaos.

For the next 500 or so years the peoples of Azyr went along with their lives, but whether they be from the various cultures of the armies of the Free Guilds or the Sinister Knights of the Order Serpentis they now all shared a united goal. Which was to rebuild their forces for a counter-invasion against Chaos. After centuries of preparation and having the Stormcast Eternal infraestructure mostly finished, the various armies of Azyr were ready to reopen the realmgates and retake their ancient territories. For many this was indeed almost a relief, as while Azyr was definitely a better place to live than any of the other Mortal Realms, life under Sigmar's rule wasn't all perfect. Sigmar fearing potential Chaos infiltration kept a rather draconian amount of control on the various cities and settlements in Azyr. From constant fear of the Order of Azyr and potential knives in backs from the Shadowblades, not to mention strict legal codes, many of the peoples from the other realms chafed somewhat in this highly ordered society. So when offered a chance to retake their old homes many were happy to give it a try.

===Reconquest===
With Sigmar's Tempest opening the Gates of Azyr what followed a massive undertaking as the combined might of all the peoples of Azyr began preparations for Sigmar's reconquest of the Realms. The sheer level of planning, logistics, training and dealmaking that went down in this period cannot be understated. Whether it was noble families looking to reclaim their ancestral homelands, outcasts going to wherever offered a fresh start, or perhaps a deal made between various parties for certain benefits in the reclaimed territories in exchange for assistance. The Regiments of the Freeguild were raised and assigned to accompany settlers to their new homes in the Realms. Duardin of the Ironweld Guilds and the Dispossessed Clans offered up their expertise in engineering as well as firepower, often in exchange for trading or mining rights in the charted territories. Wanderer Enclaves saw much demand for their knowledge of scouting the wilderness, and in turn requested territory to settle and roam freely in.

The initial areas for the first cities formed around the stormkeeps established by the Stormcast Eternals after the Realmgate Wars. From these intial settlements cities began to form around them. One obvious example being Hammerhal, which would go on to be the largest city and defacto capital of Sigmar’s growing empire. Other cities were subsequently founded usually near realmgates or areas of great strategic/economic importance (I.e Hallowheart, Tempest Eye, Excelsior and Vindicarum). The Living City was established sometime later by Allarielle herself after great victories against Nurgle’s forces and stands as a testeament to her renewed alliance with Sigmar. Later would come the establishment of industrial hub Greywater Fastness would become a seat for many of the Ironweld and Disspossesed clans, and Phoenicium, one of few Aelf dominated Cities of Sigmar. These expansions did not come easy however. Millions gave their lives in their foundation and the subsequent wars to maintain these great bastions.

Roughly 100 years after the Stormcast Eternals first set down in the Realms, these initial cities have greatly expanded upon themselves, managing to carve out their own territories in the Realms. However even with all this, much of the realms have not yet been liberated. It is estimated barely a tenth of the pre-Age of Chaos territory has been reclaimed thus far, with the rest either in Chaos hands, heavily contested, held by neutral parties, or no one, with none yet claiming these wild areas. Due to this, the cities must fight hard for any territorial gains they can manage, along with sending colonists (both willing and otherwise) out to found new cities. These cities tend to be on frontier zones, forcing them to often deal with more heavier chaos or destruction incursions, along with the deadly native wildlife or even native peoples who aren't necessarily happy with newcomers trying to colonize their ancestral lands that they defended all through the Age of Chaos. In fact, an unfortunate result of this has been the occasional Stromcast or Freeguild force having to do the uncomfortable task of subjugating or even wiping out native tribes that would refuse to compromise on these cities’ foundings. Some examples of these frontier cities include Anvilgard in Aqshy, which has quickly amassed a dark reputation from its internal dealings, or Izalend in Ghur which has to be on constant alert due to the dangerous area it inhabits. Not all of these frontier cities survive, most are either destroyed from invaders or some other calamity and must be abandoned. More than one city has suffered this fate since the first cities were established.

However many others continue to prosper and continue to expand their territory to slowly retake the realms from Chaos' grasp. Due to the dangerous nature of the realms, the mere act of traveling can be dangerous. Thus while all cities are nominally under Sigmar’s domain, many often have to rely on governing themselves for the most part, as communication with the capital Hammerhal can be slow and unreliable and Stormcast sometimes not being able to lend assistance due to being stretched thin expanding the God-King’s borders. Many have to establish their own form of government and trade zones. All cities follow the government structure laid out by Azyrhiem, however many make variations to how a city’s government is made up and how they conduct warfare due to local stigmas and situations. This leads to each city developing unique cultural identities, and since not all cities actively coordinate with each other, entire wars and new city foundings can occur without some nations even being aware of it, even if they are technically on the same faction. This is why organizations such as the Swifthawk Agents are so important to the cities, as speedy communication can often mean the difference between annihilation and salvation for threatened cities.

===Broken Realms and Insurrection===

--Under Construction...---

==Subfactions==
The Cities of Sigmar are by their nature cosmopolitan places, as many different cultures across the realms fled to Azyr only to recolonize the lands when the Age of Sigmar arrived. As such, when war comes they have a vast diversity of military forces.

*'''[[Stormcast Eternals]]''': Yes, they're here too. Most Free Cities are built around a Stormkeep, and many are named after their founding Stormhost (Hammers of Sigmar in Hammerhal, Anvils of the Heldenhammer in Anvilgard, etc.).
*'''Freeguild''': The core of the old [[The Empire (Warhammer Fantasy)|Empire]]'s forces, chiefly soldiers and Demigryphs. They are the standing armies and militias of the Cities, each descended from twelve military companies that originally fled to Azyr. A City can possess multiple Freeguilds, each one with their own specialties and strategies in warfare, making them sorta like the Imperial Guard for AoS. Lore mentions that their ranks include Duardin and Aelves as well, meaning you easily use squatted High Elf/Dwarf units as proxy Freeguild units (Swordmasters as Greatswords, Thunderers as Handgunners, etc).
*'''Devoted of Sigmar''': The Old "Church of Sigmar" faction now reduced to only the [[flagellant]]. It’s incorporated into the city with quite some critical roles. Priests of Sigmar tend to the moral and spiritual health of the human population, and when a internal threat arises, it is the work of the witch hunters from the Order of Azyr to root it out, while flagellants have to process around the city countryside, spilling their blood to destroy thd chaos corruption in the land and let the city expand. Unfortunately only the latter are usable on tabletop (in a Cities of Sigmar list. The warpriests, war-altars and witch hunters have their own faction ; The Devoted of Sigmar. They can be allied in).
*'''Dispossessed''': Duardin who have lost their old Karaks in the Age of Chaos and have to live with the umgi and elgi now. Their primary goal in the greater Cities is providing defensive fortifications for the other factions, using their legendary shield walls and stubbornness to hold the line at all costs.
*'''Collegiate Arcane''': All the Empire's Wizards, including their giant engines. Sadly, no High Elf wizards made the cut, nor did their dragons. They are essentially a souped version of the Colleges of Magic, compromised of powerful Battlemages who have trained for decades in eight floating towers called the Towers of the Eight Winds (I see what you did there GW), each one focused on a certain Realm’s variety of magic.
*'''Ironweld Arsenal''': All the Dwarf and Empire war machines and vehicles. This includes letting people ride those tanks.
*'''Darkling Covens''': Cults of Sorceresses and their brainwashed Aelven minions. Rumored to have brainwashed more than just aelves so they can secretly manipulate cities from the shadows.
*'''Phoenix Temple''': Yes, these silent dead 'ard bastards are still around. They now worship the Ur-Phoenix instead of Asuryan. They were once broken Aelves (physically or mentally broken) who received the healing warmth of a phoenix, thus they were reborn as devout warrior monks.
*'''Order Serpentis''': An ancient order of tyrannical dragon-riding Aelves who lost most of their dragons in the Age of Chaos. Undaunted by this, they started hiring Sorceresses of the Darkling Covens to genetically engineer hideous part-dragon monsters to act as replacements.
*'''Wanderers''': Nomadic wood aelves from Ghyran who fled to Azyr. Upon returning they seek to restore balance to the nature they abandoned, even if many of their Sylvaneth allies despise them as traitors. Their role in the CoS army is to be pathfinders and vanguard forces, scouting ahead of the main fighting bulk to chart secure passages.
*'''Shadowblades''': Secretive Aelf assassins who worship Malerion and usually function as a secret police force within the cities.
*'''Scourge Privateers''': Descendants of a cruel slaver empire that once terrorized the seas. Now that they have to coexist with the civillians they once preyed upon, they cooled down a bit and became beast tamers who regularly hunt monsters and then sell them (whole or in pieces) to their allies. Still enjoy doing shady pirate stuff under the books, though (not that anyone is complaining when its fucking Chaos scum who are on the receving end of it for once). They still live on Black Arks, much like their Old World counterparts, except these Arks are made from binding together the bones and shells of colossal sea creatures.

==Notable Cities==
===With rules===
*'''Hammerhal''': Hammerhal is technically two cities, Hammerhal Ghyra and Hammerhal Aqsha, linked as one by the Stormrift Realmgate. The Ghyran side exports crops and lumber to Aqshy, and lava is channeled from the Aqshy side to form a protective moat. As it is home to the Hammers of Sigmar, [[Ultramarines|GREATEST OF THEM ALL]] among stormhosts, so too the people of Hammerhal seek to prove themselves as the most eminent of the Free Cities.
*'''Greywater Fastness''': Despite hailing from the Realm of Life, this city is pretty choked with smoke and industry, as they focus heavily on war machines. Literally the entire outer regions of the city are just glorified testing grounds for their weapons, riddled with craters and no vegetation aside from withered skeletal trees. This makes them rather friendly towards the [[Kharadron Overlords]], but not so much with the [[Sylvaneth]]. They were nearly starved out by the Sylvaneth until Alarielle herself arranged a compromise, and she only tolerates them because they hate Chaos and are great at bombarding them back to the Warp. What few people know though is that the city’s lead designer, Valium Maliti, is a actually the Changeling in disguise, and purposely created this industrial wasteland in Ghyran to cause tension between the Sylvaneth and Sigmar.
*'''Anvilgard''': [https://youtu.be/SYExETbLL1E?t=84 In a nutshell, basically.] Port city by a constantly erupting volcano and a constantly burning-down-but-rapidly-regrowing jungle. To hold off the jungle from reclaiming the city's territory, they spray mass amounts of basically weedkiller everywhere (which doesn't seem - thus far - to have any long-term consequences on people), which covers the city in a gloomy grey atmosphere. Y'know, the kind of shadows where criminal syndicates thrive - and thrive they do. As in, anyone who's anyone has underworld connections, though it's kept just enough on the down-low so Lord-Veritants and other inquisitorial types don't raise a stink. In recent years, [[Morathi]] has annexed it (renaming it to '''Har Kuron'''), splitting the frontier city in half between those who sided with the [[Daughters of Khaine]] and everyone else who remained loyal to Sigmar. Sigmar learned of the treachery and sent a Stormcast army to liberate the city, but a surprise parley between the Celestant-Prime and Morathi led to the Stormcast withdrawing and ceding the city to Morathi in exchange for... something.
*'''Hallowheart''': The wizard's city. Being founded by the Hallowed Knights at the bottom of a gigantic crystal cave (where lived a mutated gigantic dragon of Tzeentch, who got hammered) this city has an magical focus and the central core of Collegiate Arcane. Don't mind the continuous daemon invasion perpetrated by Tzeentch and company, or the strange whispers that promise you great power and wealth, but report those facts to the Devoted of Sigmar for a handsome reward. {{BLAM}}
*'''The Living City''': A city shaped from trees and rock by [[Alarielle]] herself that symbolizes the alliance between her and Sigmar. As such, this city allies itself with [[Sylvaneth]] capable of putting aside their grudges towards everything that isn't a tree. Also where Alarielle pardoned the Wanderers for their cowardice during the Age of Chaos, so this is their home base.
*'''The Phoenicium''': The main city of the Phoenix Temple, it's at the foot of a big tree-mountain with a goofy name that avalanched sap over the area, trapping warriors in amber. In the Age of Sigmar, a host of phoenix birds thawed the sap into a golden mist that persists ever since - and if enemies that get too close enter the mist, they get trapped in amber, which then becomes another block on the ramparts. So, yeah, picture an amber wall filled with "oh crap"-faced Chaos warriors, greenskins, and spooks - that's how The Phoenicium do. Why nobody already tricked Archaon to attack this city, turning him into a statue and win the war is anyone's guess... but then again Archaon is a god so it would only weaken him and not by much (It is great at keeping Thanquol away)
*'''Tempest's Eye''': A city on top of a mountain that has close trade and military ties to the Kharadron Overlords. Since the Tempest Lords stationed there were all recruited from former nobility, they're the only city that is directly ruled by its Stormcast Eternals.
* '''Misthåvn''': The “City of Scoundrels” was created in Ulgu from a collection of massive ships from varying races all lashed together. This unique design means that Misthåvn can divide into its various components and move along the coast of Cape Tendbrax. Rather than having districts, the city is comprised of different armadas, each overseen by a Scourge Privateer Fleetmaster/Admiral. It’s infamous among the Azyrites for its corrupt policies, underhanded combat strategies, and a very lucrative illegal narcotics market. The native populace takes a spiteful pride in this reputation, though they still do their best to make sure Sigmar doesn’t call for the city’s purging.

===Without rules===
*'''Azyrheim''': The largest city in [[Azyr]] and de-facto capital of the entire the Grand Alliance of Order. Azyrheim's also has a scifi IN SPACE look, further reinforced by some fluff which states Azyr has no day but an eternal night filled with stars, moons and other astral phenomena, another important feature of the city is the Towers of the Eight Winds, massive floating structures where the Collegiate Arcane train mages and research magic. Sigmar's obsession with keeping Azyr free of the taint of Chaos has lead to this place being rather authoritarian, as in if they catch you performing crimes they implant you with runes that burn out all thoughts of disloyalty out of your mind. On the other hand, it’s not like the freaking gods don’t know if you’re guilty and if you don’t want to be implanted then just follow the law set by one of the few deities that isn't a complete sociopath. They aren’t crazy or stupid under Sigmar so there isn’t really a reason not to.
*'''Settler's Gain''': Located in the continent of Xintil in [[Hysh]], Settler's Gain notably has solar-powered automata doing all the menial labor, freeing the populace to focus on intellectual pursuits. The city is run by a meritocratic caste system where your status is based on passing philosophical, theological and arcane tests. Truly the most utopian of all Free Cities. Pay no attention to the fact that passing these tests requires so many years of study that only Aelves can live long enough to ascend to the highest ranks, resulting in a ruling class of Lumineth reigning over the human peasants. Those questioning the perfect society of <s>Settler's Gain</s> Yllurai Xhen will be assigned to the Enlightenment Prisms for re-education.
*'''Brightspear''': A city near the coast of [[Aqshy|The Great Parch]] that was built on top of an ancient realmgate that could travel to any of the nine realms. Above the city are orbs that each contain a college of magic dedicated to one of the winds. The one dedicated to chaos was destroyed, but the echoes still remain. This city is expanded upon in great detail in the Soulbound starter set.
*'''Excelsis''': A [[Ghur|Ghurish]] city where if you aren't a worshipper of Sigmar so devoted to make the flagellants looks negligent, you can't live. Base of the Knights Excelsior, lore talks about the FIRST (yeah, probably others followed) purge of Excelsis, where a QUARTER OF THE POPULATION WERE MASSACRED, AFTER SOME SIGNS OF IMPURITIES AMONG THE CITIZENS! Weird that Sigmar allowed that. Typical Knights Excelsior mentality: if you have some sick cows, you kill them and everyone around them, be it out of overkill caution or because "''How DARE you sympathize with the HERETICS I just killed in front of you; clearly you're also HERETICS that must die!''". It's revealed that this was secretly incited in part by Slaanesh as a way to free themselves from one of the chains which keep their imprisoned (read City of Secrets for more details). Additionally, they have been infiltrated by Tzeentch cultists and a description of their army composition. Which means ironically Sigmar might be too lenient and hands-free in his authoritarianism.
*'''Vindicarum''': No lore about this one but if is the base of celestial vindicators, probably everyone in the city is high of cocaine and go around crazily stabbing each other just like <s>khornate</s> stormcast.
*'''Lethis''': Technically has rules in the form of the “Lethisian Defenders” list from Forbidden Power, but not actually part of the Cities of Sigmar allegiance. This city is based in Shyish next to Lake Lethis, a lake whose waters are cursed to take away memories. This water is actually one of their most valuable exports, as a lot of people in the Mortal Realms have [[Grimdark|traumatic memories they'd rather forget]]. Also home to a Stormvault which held [[Katakros]], who was released when the city was invaded by [[Lady Olynder]]'s Legion of Grief.
*'''Edassa''': Mentioned during Gotrek's adventures in “Realmslayer” and “Ghoulslayer”, and the home city of the character Jordainn. An African themed kingdom located in Aqshy, it sits at crossroads with two other kingdoms and city states, all of them part of a mutual pact funding the garrisons of forts and towns that run the length of the region's roads. [[Celestial Lions|Have a Lion motif in their armor as well as in their battlecry.]]
*'''Westreach and Eastdale''': Twin cities built on an island in Shyish. Westreach is populated by Azyrites while Eastdale is controlled by the Reclaimed. Both cities work with each other though the former’s haughty attitude and the latter’s superstitions has lead to tension between the two. Both cities were built over the ruins/tombs of an ancient town called Belvegrod, and since this is Shyish both cities have a terrible [[Nighthaunt]] infestation. A warding protected the city from [[Lady Olynder]]’s full wrath, but through machinations that’d make Neferata proud, the Mortarch of Grief broke the wardings and razed the Twin Cities, her undead hordes consuming the living.

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}

Warhammer Quest: Cursed City

2021-02-22T12:01:49Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

The latest incarnation of the “Warhammer Quest” series, '''Cursed City''' is an upcoming specialist game set in the timeline of [[Age of Sigmar]]. Its general feel and aesthetic has led more than a few folks to compare it to [[Mordheim]], though nothing can be said for certain until the game releases.

==History of the City==
The city of Ulfenkarn lays in the middle of the Realm of Death, founded by a collection of Azyrite colonists and ruled by three noble houses. Although the denizens of the city were a strong and proud folk, the Age of Chaos proved to be the breaking point as the city was ravaged by the chaos lord Slaughn the Ravenor. Salvation came from a mysterious visitor called Radukar the Wolf. Though he did save Ulfenkarn, the savage vampire lord was quick to establish his own cadre of dark followers called his Thirsting Court, and after a brutal purging of any “uncooperative” nobility, Ulfenkarn became a hive of vampiric monsters and ghoulish abominations. Now in the Age of Sigmar, a motley crew consisting of lone wolves, academic heretics, troublemakers, and other pains in the butt of bureaucracy have arrived in the city to finally cleanse Ulfenkarn of its curse.
===Notable Locations===
*'''Corpse-Gardens''': The domain of Gorslav the Gravekeeper, these charnel pits and mausoleums act as a prime recruiting grounds for the various Vampire Lords and Necromancers.
*'''Shadowed Crypt-halls''': Once some kind of vaulted location, now only eerie music and screams of agony can be heard from its depths.
*'''The Clot''': This canal encircles the inner walls of the city, though instead of water it’s now filled with rotting gore.
*'''Ghiestgale''': A large gate that only the Nighthaunt reside within.
*'''Ven Alten Skydocks''': A former Kharadron outpost that served as Ulfenkarn’s center of commerce prior to its fall. It was also co-owned and operated by the ven Alten household, before the majority of the house willingly took the Blood Kiss.
*'''Hangman’s Copse''': This used to be an embassy created by the Sylvaneth, now it’s just a roost for bats.
*'''Vharngate''': The fortified headquarters of the Ulfenwatch, the Deathrattle guardians of the city, who are overseen by Watch Captain Halgrim.
*'''Barrowmark''': This scholarly building was once the home of the Pact Mortalis, a brotherhood of death wizards. When the city was usurped by the vampires, Torgillius the Chamberlain betrayed the Pact and converted Barrowmark into his own twisted laboratory.
*'''The Ebon Citadel''': The gothic picturesque capital of Ulfenkarn and Radukar the Wolf‘s seat of power.

==Characters==
===Agents of Defiance (Heroes)===
*'''Jelsen Darrock''': A former member of the Order of Azyr who was excommunicated on account of his miles wide sadistic streak and lack of morals (the latter of which he is actually proud of). He’s fully equipped with Van Helsing styled gear to wipe out the vampires from the city.
*'''Qulathis the Exile''': Originally from Ghyran, this Kurnothi Huntress swore vengeance upon all vampires after they torched her home of Enga’la Weald. Her thirst for retribution was so strong in fact that her clan’s elders forbade her from her quest, leading to her self-imposed exile. Her quiver is filled with arrows carved from the Oak of Ages Past.
*'''Emelda Braskov''': A Freeguild General who led the defense against the Wolf’s takeover of the city. Her army was slaughtered and raised to bolster the Ulfenwatch, forcing her to retreat. Now Emelda fights with a grim resolve; either she’ll free her home from death’s clutches or die trying.
*'''Dagnai Holdenstock''': Also called the “Trade-Commodore”, this enterprising Kharadron is known through many skyports for his liberal interpretations of the Code and tendency to chart voyages to hostile filled death traps. So Ulfenkarn is the perfect place for him.
*'''Glaurio ven Alten III''': A brazen noble and last living member of the ven Alten line after his cousins all submitted to the Wolf and became the Vrykos Blood-born. He’s a master duelist who prefers going toe-to-toe against single enemies with sword and pistol.
*'''Cleona Zeitengale''': A devotee from the Cult of the Comet. She foresaw Ulfenkarn’s demise at vampire hands and warned against it, though no one listened to her. She’s now the last of her order still among the living, determined to cleanse the city of all corruption with Sigmar’s holy light. So basically she’s the Sisters of Sigmar from Mordhiem as a single character.
*'''Octren Glimscry''': Former colleague of Torgillus the Chamberlain in the Pact Mortalis, this amethyst mage seeks to undo his coworker’s dark machinations using his own studies in the nature of death magic.
*'''Brutogg Corpse-Eater''': Ogor mercenary who likes the taste of dead meat. Pretty simple background, but regardless, the other heroes are glad to have Brutogg’s mace on their side.

===Overlords of Ulfenkarn (Villains)===
*'''Gorslav the Gravekeeper''': The gaunt and ghastly overseer of the Corpse-Gardens. He makes it his duty to bury the living six feet under so they’ll die and then rise again as new undead minions.
*'''Watch Captain Halgrim''': Known as Oleksandr Halgrim in life, he pledged himself and his troops to the vampiric overlords during the initial purge of any disgruntled nobility. His troops were repulsed by his traitorous actions and bound his arms and legs together and left him to be eaten alive by sewer rats. He still serves the vampires and necromancers to this day as a mindless automaton in charge of the skeletal Ulfenwatch.
*'''Torgillius the Chamberlain''': One part spymaster and another part mad scientist, this Necromancer is one of the most important individuals in the city due to his gravesand studies and constant tinkering with the undead form to create new life. He can project his will onto the various diseased animals that roam the city ad use them as his eyes and ears.
*'''The Vrykos Blood-born''': Vampiric thralls sired by Radukar the Wolf. These half feral creatures serve as sentries and hunters for the Wolf, taking great pleasure in assassinating anyone their master deems unpleasant.
*'''Radukar the Wolf''': The savior/usurper/overlord of Ulfenkarn. A large and brutal vampire lord with a fondness for pelts to match his werewolf-like mutations. He is an ancient vampire who roamed Shyish as a savage predator before coming to the cursed city.

===Monsters===
*'''Bat Swarms'''
*'''Corpse Rats'''
*'''Deadwalker Zombies'''
*'''Ulfenwatch'''
*'''Kosargi Nightguard'''
*'''Vargskyre'''
[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Games Workshop]]

Warhammer Quest: Cursed City

2021-02-22T12:01:29Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

The latest incarnation of the “Warhammer Quest” series, '''Cursed City''' is an upcoming specialist game set in the timeline of [[Age of Sigmar]]. Its general feel and aesthetic has led more than a few folks to compare it to [[Mordheim]], though nothing can be said for certain until the game releases.

==History of the City==
The city of Ulfenkarn lays in the middle of the Realm of Death, founded by a collection of Azyrite colonists and ruled by three noble houses. Although the denizens of the city were a strong and proud folk, the Age of Chaos proved to be the breaking point as the city was ravaged by the chaos lord Slaughn the Ravenor. Salvation came from a mysterious visitor called Radukar the Wolf. Though he did save Ulfenkarn, the savage vampire lord was quick to establish his own cadre of dark followers called his Thirsting Court, and after a brutal purging of any “uncooperative” nobility, Ulfenkarn became a hive of vampiric monsters and ghoulish abominations. Now in the Age of Sigmar, a motley crew consisting of lone wolves, academic heretics, troublemakers, and other pains in the butt of bureaucracy have arrived in the city to finally cleanse Ulfenkarn of its curse.
===Notable Locations===
*'''Corpse-Gardens''': The domain of Gorslav the Gravekeeper, these charnel pits and mausoleums act as a prime recruiting grounds for the various Vampire Lords and Necromancers.
*'''Shadowed Crypt-halls''': Once some kind of vaulted location, now only eerie music and screams of agony can be heard from its depths.
*'''The Clot''': This canal encircles the inner walls of the city, though instead of water it’s now filled with rotting gore.
*'''Ghiestgale''': A large gate that only the Nighthaunt reside within.
*'''Ven Alten Skydocks''': A former Kharadron outpost that served as Ulfenkarn’s center of commerce prior to its fall. It was also co-owned and operated by the ven Alten household, before the majority of the house willingly took the Blood Kiss.
*'''Hangman’s Copse''': This used to be an embassy created by the Sylvaneth, now it’s just a roost for bats.
*'''Vharngate''': The fortified headquarters of the Ulfenwatch, the Deathrattle guardians of the city, who are overseen by Watch Captain Halgrim.
*'''Barrowmark''': This scholarly building was once the home of the Pact Mortalis, a brotherhood of death wizards. When the city was usurped by the vampires, Torgillius the Chamberlain betrayed the Pact and converted Barrowmark into his own twisted laboratory.
*'''The Ebon Citadel''': The gothic picturesque capital of Ulfenkarn and Radukar the Wolf‘s seat of power.

==Characters==
===Agents of Defiance (Heroes)===
*'''Jelsen Darrock''': A former member of the Order of Azyr who was excommunicated on account of his miles wide sadistic streak and lack of morals (the latter of which he is actually proud of). He’s fully equipped with Van Helsing styled gear to wipe out the vampires from the city.
*'''Qulathis the Exile''': Originally from Ghyran, this Kurnothi Huntress swore vengeance upon all vampires after they torched her home of Enga’la Weald. Her thirst for retribution was so strong in fact that her clan’s elders forbade her from her quest, leading to her self-imposed exile. Her quiver is filled with arrows carved from the Oak of Ages Past.
*'''Emelda Braskov''': A Freeguild General who led the defense against the Wolf’s takeover of the city. Her army was slaughtered and raised to bolster the Ulfenwatch, forcing her to retreat. Now Emelda fights with a grim resolve; either she’ll free her home from death’s clutches or die trying.
*'''Dagnai Holdenstock''': Also called the “Trade-Commodore”, this enterprising Kharadron is known through many skyports for his liberal interpretations of the Code and tendency to chart voyages to hostile filled death traps. So Ulfenkarn is the perfect place for him.
*'''Glaurio ven Alten III''': A brazen noble and last living member of the ven Alten line after his cousins all submitted to the Wolf and became the Vrykos Blood-born. He’s a master duelist who prefers going toe-to-toe against single enemies with sword and pistol.
*'''Cleona Zeitengale''': A devotee from the Cult of the Comet. She foresaw Ulfenkarn’s demise at vampire hands and warned against it, though no one listened to her. She’s now the last of her order still among the living, determined to cleanse the city of all corruption with Sigmar’s holy light. So basically she’s the Sisters of Sigmar from Mordhiem as a single character.
*'''Octren Glimscry''': Former colleague of Torgillus the Chamberlain in the Pact Mortalis, this amethyst mage seeks to undo his coworker’s dark machinations using his own studies in the nature of death magic.
*'''Brutogg Corpse-Eater''': Ogor mercenary who likes the taste of dead meat. Pretty simple background, but regardless, the other heroes are glad to have Brutogg’s mace on their side.

===Overlords of Ulfenkarn (Villains)===
*'''Gorslav the Gravekeeper''': The gaunt and ghastly overseer of the Corpse-Gardens. He makes it his duty to bury the living six feet under so they’ll die and then rise again as new undead minions.
*'''Watch Captain Halgrim''': Known as Oleksandr Halgrim in life, he pledged himself and his troops to the vampiric overlords during the initial purge of any disgruntled nobility. His troops were repulsed by his traitorous actions and bound his arms and legs together and left him to be eaten alive by sewer rats. He still serves the vampires and necromancers to this day as a mindless automaton in charge of the skeletal Ulfenwatch.
*'''Torgillius the Chamberlain''': One part spymaster and another part mad scientist, this Necromancer is one of the most important individuals in the city due to his gravesand studies and constant tinkering with the undead form to create new life. He can project his will onto the various diseased animals that roam the city ad use them as his eyes and ears.
*'''The Vrykos Blood-born''': Vampiric thralls sired by Radukar the Wolf. These half feral creatures serve as sentries and hunters for the Wolf, taking great pleasure in assassinating anyone their master deems unpleasant.
*'''Radukar the Wolf''': The savior/usurper/overlord of Ulfenkarn. A large and brutal vampire lord with a fondness for pelts to match his werewolf-like mutations. He is an ancient vampire who roamed Shyish as a savage predator before coming to the cursed city.

===Monsters===
*'''Bat Swarms'''
*'''Zombie Rats'''
*'''Deadwalker Zombies'''
*'''Ulfenwatch'''
*'''Kosargi Nightguard'''
*'''Vargskyre'''
[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Games Workshop]]

Beasts Of Chaos

2020-12-09T11:20:38Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Beasts Of Chaos|Logo=Beasts-of-chaos-art1.jpeg|Alliance=Chaos|Lore=Beasts Of Chaos|Motto=Cry havoc, and let slip the beasts of war.}}

AoS’ take on the classic Beastmen, the '''Beasts of Chaos''' are comprised of the Brayherds (Gors, Ungors, etc), Warherds (Minotaurs), Thunderscorn (Dragon Ogors), and other assorted chaos monsters all united under one faction.

The biggest difference between Warhammer Fantasy [[Beastmen]] and Age of Sigmar Beastmen is their opinion on the Chaos Gods. The Old World Beastmen are zealously devoted to the Chaos Gods. The Mortal Realms Beastmen however are staunch followers of Chaos Undivided, the "worship Chaos as a force seperate from the gods" kind. To them the Ruinous Powers are merely powerful beings who have limited themselves by only embodying a single aspect of Chaos, and outright worshipping them goes against the whole purpose of being Chaotic in the first place. Though Beastmen marked by the gods still exist (mostly forming their own seperate greatfrays because the other Beastmen ostracise them), in general the Beastmen believe that Chaos is something one should embody through their acts, not a pantheon to be followed. The Chaos Gods despite this still see them as useful pawns because of how they spread war, plague, rape and mutation.

Ironically, despite being actively ostracised by their undivided kin, from the ones we've seen so far marked Beastmen are highly favored by human cultists, with Slaanesh worshippers revering and pampering [[Slaangor|Slaangor Fiendbloods]] and many Tzeentch worshippers (especially the Cult of the Transient Form) actively aspiring to be transformed into [[Tzaangor|Tzaangors]].

==Greatfrays==
Calling the Greatfrays the equivalent to Stormhosts or Warclans is a bit of a misunderstanding. A Greatfray is less of a unified subfaction and more like a particular culture that Beastmen originate from. Scholars of the Mortal Realms will notice patterns in their iconography, warfare, and herd composition and create these theories regarding how the beasts of these Greatfrays function.

*'''Allherd:''' The posterboys. Arrogant and aggressive, the beasts of the Allherd believe themselves to be the true offspring of the Alpha Progenitor, the original Beastman of the Mortal Realms, ergo meaning they claim to be the only true children of Chaos. Their herds are mostly found in [[Ghur]], which when combined with the countless herdstones and glyphs bearing the Allherd’s symbols that dot every continent in the Realm of Beasts, leads many to believe that they originated from Ghur as well.
*'''Darkwalkers:''' Much like their ancestors in the World-That-Was, the Darkwalkers rely heavily on ambush tactics and knowing the lay of the land. They seem to have an innate knowledge of the environment around them and are easily able to traverse the most treacherous of terrain and/or lure enemies into lethal surprise attacks. It’s not uncommon for herds of Darkwalkers to be “hired” by Chaos Lords from the [[Slaves to Darkness]] for their experience in navigating the Realms.
*'''Gavespawn:''' A somewhat heretical Greatfray who revere/worship Morghur from the original Beastman roster, who has become a symbol of rampant mutation and the warping powers of Chaos. They seek to elevate their patron to the ranks of a proper Chaos God and fight against the four brothers, which is why they are often at odds with the other Beasts of Chaos and the Slaves to Darkness. Of course with all this mutation present, Chaos SpaWAITOHGODNOFDNHKGESZYXJDS...are a common presence in the army.

The next few Greatfrays refer to Beastmen who have chosen to follow a specific Ruinous Power and are appropriately shunned by most other Beasts of Chaos. Important note here, these names aren’t really the names of the Greatfray itself, but more like a broad classification (I.e. the Eight Horns Greatfray is a Skullfray devoted to Khorne and so on).

*'''Skullfrays''': Beastmen devoted to [[Khorne]]. They are gifted a portion of the Blood God’s wrath, turning them all into [[World Eaters|unstoppable berserkers who rip and tear a gory trail through the Mortal Realms.]] Their herdstones are fittingly decorated with piles of skulls and no Bray Shamans are found in the Skullfrays, cause magic makes Khorne mad.
*'''Twistfrays''': Beastmen devoted to [[Tzeentch]]. Sometimes known as Weird Horns or Warphooves, these guys are so far the only god-specific Beastmen with official models still in production. They are the most willing to cooperate with outside factions, usually to plot and scheme the downfall of a Free City. Their herdstones are almost living twisted creatures in their own way, changing and growing the stronger their Twistfray becomes.
*'''Rotfrays''': Beastmen devoted to [[Nurgle]]. Their devotion to the Plague Father has turned these Beastmen into a [[Clan Pestilens|pestilent horde of flagellants]] who willingly cut and infect each other with disease and wade into battle as martyrs to spread their poxes upon their foes. Appropriately, the Rotfray herdstones serve as nodes for Nurgle’s corruptive influence, morphing the earth around it into a vile marsh of decay and filth.
*'''Slakefrays''': Beastmen devoted to [[Slaanesh]]. To these beasts, Slaanesh is the apex predator, feaster, and breeder; all things that the Beastmen seek to emulate in the most obscene degree. These guys are LOUD, [[Emperor's Children|wearing garish armor and clothes and blowing colossal war horns to signal their attacks.]] They hoard anything gaudy or shiny they find in their raids, however this makes them prone to bouts of self-loathing, realizing how they value these products of civilization. This is why they seek to drown out such thoughts in more excessive pillaging and raping, creating a vicious, almost tragic, cycle.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Beastmen-centrigor.jpeg
</gallery>

==See Also==
*[[Beastmen]], their fantasy counterparts.

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}
[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]

Slaanesh

2020-12-09T11:10:13Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

[[File:Slaanesh_mark.png|center]]
{{awesome}}
{{heresy}}
{{Promotions}}
{{/d/}}
{{sick|The hermaphrodite god/goddess of rape who wants to eat everyone's souls and rape them forever.}}

[[Image:Slaanesh_by_baklaher-d7dvohn.jpg|thumb|500px|right|Slaanesh... tempting you to join a [[rape|party in which you will never forget...]] [[Rule 34|also now in even more NSFW!]]]]

<span style='color:purple;font-size:100%'>'''''PORN FOR THE PORN GOD! SMUT FOR THE SMUT THRONE! RAPE FOR THE RAPE TRAIN!<br> - The Motto that Slaanesh wants YOU to believe in'''''</span>

{{Topquote|Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.|Dr. Frank-N-Furter, Rocky Horror Picture Show}}

{{Topquote|To be loved, feelings must be rationed. To love, the doors of hysteria, fantasy, and madness may be flung open.|Anton LaVey}}

{{Topquote|An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom.|Charles Baudelaire}}

{{Topquote|Everything is good when it is excessive.|Donatien-Alphonse-François, AKA Marquis de Sade}}

{{Topquote|Blood does more than turn me on, it makes me cum. And more than the sight of it, I love the taste of it. The taste of hot, freshly killed blood... Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth are my politics! Filth is my life! Take whatever you like.|Divine, Pink Flamingoes}}

{{Topquote|OO! KINKY!|Anyone who ever set eyes on a daemon of slaanesh}}

==Introduction: The Slaanesh Inquisition==
[[Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|thumb|500px|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated.] Wait, one whip is held in the hand and the other is held in the...]]
Behold '''Slaanesh''', also known as '''Shaarnor (to [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Elves and some humans]]), Shornaal (to [[Warriors of Chaos|humans and some Elves]]), The Dark Prince, the Lord of Excess, Leviathan, Lord of the Labyrinth, Dr. Frank-N-Furter, The Sweet Transvestite, The Lusty Argonian Maid, the Colossal Pervert''', '''the Ultimate Trap''', '''Never Went to Rehab''', '''Slut4Evar''', '''the one who ruins everything,''' '''the new thing,''' and multiple other names. Slaanesh is the [[Chaos God]] of [[/d/|perversion, Hentai]], [[Extra Heresy|shamelessness]], [[Furry|excess]], [[Rebecca Black|the most disgusting Pop Music in the history of ever]], sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Heretical Fa/tg/uys cannot resist the most disgusting [[heresy]] of masturbating furiously to Slaanesh and their [[daemonette]]s.

Slaanesh was 'born' (in this case semi literally, from aspects other chaos gods had.) at the fall of the [[Eldar]], when all their torture, [[rape]], S&M, bondage, decadence, eventually tore the fabric of reality a new one and gave birth to Slaanesh along with the [[Eye of Terror]], killing the majority of their race. Thus, the final chaos god is known as the one that was literally murderfucked into existence. As a result, Slaanesh owns almost every last Eldar soul in the entire galaxy. In the event of an Eldar dying without a spirit stone, he or she becomes Slaanesh's sex toy for all of eternity day and night forever and ever (excluding Exodites, whose soul will automatically go to their planet's world spirit and Harlequins, who are scooped up by the [[Cegorach|great clown]] himself, and the faithful of Ynnead). This is why Eldar are willing to manipulate entire worlds into [[Exterminatus|exterminating]] each other just to save one of their own. The [[Dark Eldar]] take this up to eleven; because they do not use spirit stones nor are they protected like the Harlequins, Slaanesh is constantly sanding their souls down around the edges. In order to circumvent this they resort to huffing the souls of those in agony or of those who have recently died. However this isn't done ''just'' for survival; the Dark Eldar revel in sadism for its own sake too. In the end every Eldar in the galaxy, even the Drukhari and the Harlequins, are inextricably linked to Slaanesh in some way.

Of course, the descriptions above apply primarily to Slaanesh's WH40K history. In WHFB, Slaanesh has no real backstory and sort of just came out of nowhere like the other Chaos gods.

Among other things, Slaanesh is the god of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. Slaanesh is fueled by excess and pleasure, which means gratuitous amounts of anything generally fall under its influence. This actually becomes a big problem for Khorne, the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]] and the other Chaos Gods, whose worshipers have to constantly try not to enjoy themselves too much lest they end up feeding the Warp's whipping bitch. Especially when the Inquisition is all too enthusiastic about whipping heretics.It is for this reason ironically enough that she is hated by every single entity in the warp, Yes even Nurgle. More on that below.

Many horny juveniles who have just found Warhammer seem to be obsessed with Slaanesh being a God(ess) of sexual pleasure. While [[fluff]] claims this is not true, in practical terms Slaanesh is the deity of pleasure, which can be broad. Pleasure can be derived from various sources, as such this can be anything from sex, eating, companionship, and so on and so forth. However, because Chaos is Chaos, Slaanesh is mostly associated with the extremes of pleasure including lechery, gluttony, extreme masochism, extreme sadism, perverse sexual deviance, and so on. These are just some of the pleasures Slaaneshi followers partake in because Slaanesh's credo is to experience everything to the fullest. As a practitioner falls ever deeper into the embrace of their dark god, they are consumed with a need to drive these sensations first to the limit of human experience, and then beyond into madness. This basically means: why settle for one loving wife to have sex with you when you can have a hive world of insatiable concubines to fulfill your every desire? Or why eat one disgustingly expensive luxury meal when you could eat a Paradise world's supply of the stuff? Why just resort to cutting yourself to feel the pleasure of pain when you could be chopping off lumps of your flesh to heighten the sensation of pain? Numerous examples of 40k lore have made it apparent that while those who fall to Slaanesh might start off with a desire to fulfill their rather run-of-the-mill baser instincts, it always spirals into insanity. For example, in the novel ''Shadowsword'', a young nobleman makes a deal with a devilish creature so that he can possess and sleep with his lady love, who is also his first cousin. By the time all is said and done, a grand party to welcome the forces of Chaos to their world turns into a charnel scene where the guests ''imagine'' themselves to be dancing and enjoying fine food and drink, but in reality they are tearing each other apart with their bare hands and engaging in cannibalism; others believe that they are embracing when their bodies and flesh are literally melding together. These are the types of scenes that truly resonate in the Warp, and thus grant Slaanesh power.

One would think that if, as claimed, Slaanesh was the lord of all ''pleasure'' then Slaanesh would be omnipotent because, in the end, biological and psychological fact tells us that every living thing with a fucking Neuron acts in order to feel pleasure and escape pain (the "pleasure principle"). However, here is the most important thing worth emphasizing, just in case you haven't picked it up already: the point of Slaanesh is not to revel in ''any'' pain or pleasure. Rather, the point is to gain power from exposing mortals to the types of experiences that a sane person ''could not'' and ''would not'' ever be able to imagine in the first place. For all but the very strongest and most devout, this pollutes and twists their very souls to such an extent that they remain in thrall to Slaanesh forever. Such horizons of experience and sensation are far, far beyond the predictable inclinations and fetishes of your typical 4chan fa/tg/uy.

Even [[Khorne]], Slaanesh's primary rival, feels pleasure in killing, and Tzeentch feels pleasure in [[Just as Planned]]. That is why 40k lore tends to focus on Slaanesh as a God of the most disgusting pleasures ever, not as a God of all pleasure. Additionally, in the [[fluff]], it does state that most pleasures (like regular love or the desire to eat) that might be covered under the "pleasure principle" are too "weak" to sustain Slaanesh. Considering that it's damn hard for most humans to get more than a piece of stale toast and a dry handjob before collapsing from exhaustion after a grueling 80-hour week working in some hive-world factory for the Emprah, the only way to get enough sex, drugs, and partying in to impress Slaanesh is to be a ruthless, controlling, evil bastard. (''It is worth noting that GW seems to have picked up somewhat on this fact. As of the latest daemon codex it does mention that Slaanesh has a particular way of influencing the other chaos gods and that they are all weary of them given that they draw some strength from the extreme behaviours they promote in their followers and are subject to themselves.'')

Slaanesh is also associated with the arts and creativity, as creativity means pursuing one's own personal desires. Self-indulgence and personal expression are the bedrock of the arts, after all. Those attracted to Slaanesh could theoretically be more than just aristocratic ravers, but also particularly eccentric artists, writers, etc. Slaanesh is Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll in the purest sense of the word. It is not just the depraved orgy after the concert, but the scintillatingly brilliant concert that caused the orgy to begin with. One could assume that, in order to prevent Slaanesh's influence from spreading, the Imperium of Man would censor not just content but style. A radically structured poem, a painting with hints of debased content, even a deviation from traditional chord structures would presumably bring the Inquisition to your doorstep.

If Slaanesh had a voice actor, it would be [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc80tFJpTuo Tim Curry] and/or Tilda Swinton.

==What? Warhammer?==
[[File:Slaanesh Old.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The first depiction of Slaanesh in Warhammer art.]]
In the new [[Age of Sigmar]] setting, Slaanesh has gone missing. Tyrion and Malerion worked together to capture Slaanesh, unknowningly helped along by the machinations of Tzeentch. Thus Slaanesh has been removed from the Pantheon of Chaos and replaced by the [[Horned Rat]]. Derp. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIMg2Xw4_8s While it was thought Slaanesh is being kept in a hidden warehouse while Tyrion works him/her over to make Slaanesh give back Aliathra's soul], this is revealed to be mostly true. [[Games Workshop|due to reasons discussed on GW's page here]].
[[File:AoSBeholdSlaanesh.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Slaanesh imprisoned: Unable to decide which dildo to use first, Slaanesh is effectively neutralized! Ingenious! (Also, to answer the question you never asked, Slaanesh is not circumcised. Seriously, take a close look at where those chains pierce)]]

Yet hope for Slaanesh faction lovers still remains. With Slaanesh missing, his forces have split between those trying to find and free Slaanesh (the refer to themselves as Seekers), those who are trying to claim their former master's position (they are referred to as Pretenders and consists of every Chaos Lord and Keeper of Secrets that wants to claim their former masters position as the new god of depravity) and those who have continued to be allied to Archaon in his wars against the Mortal Realms (who are referred to as Invaders). This last faction is currently the biggest and is the main Slaanesh force fighting Order; it is mostly being led by Slaanesh's greater daemons who lead Slaanesh's demonic and mortal followers but some have actually looked to venerating Archaon as their replacement deity.

With the release of the Daughter of Khaine battletome it's revealed that Slaanesh has been trapped in the void space between Ulgu (Realm of Shadows) and Hysh (Realm of Light) by the collective work of [[Tyrion]] and [[Teclis]], now gods of the Hysh, [[Malekith|Malerion]], god of Shadow, and [[Morathi]]. There the elf gods are slowly taking back the elf souls the Chaos god had devoured after the End Times, reforging them to their liking, while Slaanesh is trapped in a position that will make it impossible for him to escape. That is, unless Morathi cast a spell to get more souls than it was initially planned for her to receive, a spell that would weaken the chains that are keeping Slaanesh trapped, which of course she did. Now Slaanesh is ever so slowly getting further from Hysh and closer to Ulgu, which enabled Slaanesh's followers to learn where he was. The only things standing in their way are the fact that they can't reach Slaanesh's prison, the aelf gods and their forces. Even then, Slaanesh might eventually be able to free itself.

With the announcement of Realm of Chaos: Wrath and Rapture, it appears GW is ready to bring Slaanesh back to the 40k and AoS universes, along with a (daemonic) host of new models. And this did come to pass... Though it isn't as grand as many would have hoped. It has been revealed that the 66 chains holding Slaanesh (real subtle, GW) can be broken by certain depraved or powerful acts, ie, an excess of anger from Khorne, or a Stormhost turning on the people they protect (which did happen and was engineered by Slaanesh taking a leaf from Tzeentch's book). Having broken a handful of the chains Slaanesh cast illusions to prevent the elves from discovering this, and if the majority of chains get shattered Slaanesh will be strong enough to break the rest. If Slaanesh ever did escape, he would immediately try and engulf all of Ulgu and Hysh, securing two whole realms and thereby winning the great game though Khorne would object violently, as would Archaon. However, Archaon still needed Slaanesh and was actively tracking down the trapped god. Archaon eventually succeeded at finding Slaanesh and started working to free him, though Slaanesh's sass vexed Archaon. It would've worked eventually, but Archaon had a vision of the Nighthaunt and Bonereapers taking the Shyish realmgate and attacking the Varanspire. Though Archaon was pissed, since he knew the elf gods would move Slaanesh's prison and tighten security after this, he abandoned Slaanesh and went back to the Allpoints.

But now Slaanesh is a mommy/daddy! During Morathi's ritual for godhood, Slaanesh's spasms caused a stream of saliva that interacted with Morathi's ritual and gained sentience. The entity burst from Slaanesh's prison, and flew through the skies across Ulgu, mutating everything with its presence before crashing to the ground. The Godseekers followed it to the point of impact, and over time thousands of Hedonites gathered. There the entity, known only as The Newborn, took on a form so beautiful and terrible that many who looked upon it died and it spoke to Hedonites, and they may have found a new path to worship Slaanesh.

== Followers ==
[[File:Slaanesh Banners.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Slaaneshi banners.]]
Slaanesh attracts mortal followers from those seeking to become charismatic and popular, but instead corrupts them to become [[Chris-Chan|colossal perverts]]; alternatively, she may attract followers from those who are already [[Ultramarines|colossal perverts]], and corrupt them to become more charismatic and popular. [[Just as planned]].

Alternatively, Slaanesh sometimes finds those in the mortal realm with far more looks than brains to approach and gives them everything they could ever want because she tells them that they simply deserve it, with nothing expected in return...other than them turning into a collossal egotistical hedonist with no sense of responsibility, right and wrong, or empathy as they fuck over creation on whim or for the lulz due to the ultimate entitlement complex possible.

Slaanesh and Khorne actually compete for the same pool of followers more often than you'd think, which is part of his hatred for it. A good rule of thumb is this: if a warrior wants to be the ''best'', gets his thrills from making that perfect shot, that perfect move, [[/v/|that perfect 360 noscope,]] to [[powergamer|hone his or her skills the sharpest they can ever be]], or debasing their foes, they're Slaaneshi...even if they don’t want to be. If the thrill lies in just killing people-- the pure joy of murder-- and the skill is just a way of facilitating that, they're Khornate. Slaaneshi types also get off on the sensory overload rather than actual killing or even pain, like the Emperor's Children who get carved up by Raven Guard and won't fight back because the feeling of lightning claws dicing them up is too damn blissful. [[Troll|They also get off on the reactions they get from others]]-- for example, the loyalist who Lucius tricks into slaughtering his own men. These are things that Khorne can’t stand, because Khorne has standards. Slaanesh takes those standards, throws them out the window, follows them out the window and murderfucks them with its arms pumping wildly.

When it come to more "social" followers, Slaanesh competes with Tzeentch, as followers of both are known for being silver-tongued manipulative dicks with a huge hard-on for power. Here the difference lies in that Slaaneshi followers seek power for their own gain, usually through charismatic speeches and the like, while Tzeenchians often have more altruistic goals or are more interested in the process of gaining power than actually getting it, intentionally raising the challenge to impossible level just to feed their ambitions. Tzeentch followers are quite notable for being dicks, not evil monsters (...usually, also barring daemons). Other than being egotistical trolls they're pretty normal people. The 'huge hard-on' part is also much more [[Heresy|literal]] in Slaanesh's case. However Tzeentch has realized that since personal gain is inevitable when scheming, Slaanesh still wins, so Tzeentch hates them too.

Apart from [[AIDS|the obvious]], Slaanesh and Nurgle rarely have any interaction. There was the matter of the [[Isha|qt Eldar waifu]] Slaanesh wanted to keep for [[/d/|some]] [[rape|after-party]] [[FATAL|entertainment]], but since Nurgle is a fa/tg/uy at heart he couldn't resist claiming her for himself. <s>But they're mostly over that</s> Slaanesh is over it, Nurgle is not. Otherwise, their domains are just too different that they don't overlap all that much. Those who are ambitious and feel they deserve better choose Slaanesh, while those who give up or accept their lot fall into Nurgle's open, sweaty arms. Conflict occurs, but love of the self and love of others aren't as mutually exclusive as the desire to destroy and the desire to create, or a demand for the spotlight against careful orchestration. That being said Nurgle is still not fond of them-- mainly due to the aforementioned Eldar waifu.

[[File:Slaaneshi Forces.JPG|thumb|right|500px|Slaaneshi forces in their realm.]]

Slaanesh units are:
* '''[[Daemonettes]]''', hideous crab-clawed hermaphrodites or seductive scythe-clawed elf-girls depending on which fluff you choose to believe, fa/tg/uys love Daemonettes and spend much time eagerly awaiting the drawfags to provide them with moar heresy. Some fluff seems to suggest that they're hot elf girls until they decide it's time to rip your face off, at which point they become something more akin to the BDSM glam-rock black-eyed lobster women seen in the current models. Moreover, they're supposedly attractive to the beholder (though these are often xenophobic assholes and thus only consider themselves beautiful) - this means that it is very likely that their appearance is entirely subject to the individual desires of whomever is perceiving them. This is represented by their hermaphroditic/androgynous appearance, supposedly rendering them attractive regardless of preference or sexuality. Their monstrous nature is a juxtaposition of slender sensuality and horrible, flesh-tearing daemonic claws. Like many Daemons, their appearance is supposed to be highly varied, which is never represented in the models unless you combine all the old and new, modify heavily, and use [[Raging Heroes|proxies]] randomly. Daemonettes are created by Slaanesh's waking thoughts, popping into existence as she contemplates trolling Khorne, destroying a civilization from within, or getting off.
* '''[[Seekers of Slaanesh]]''', Daemonettes mounted upon [[Steeds of Slaanesh]] which are the mix of an aardvark and a raptor [[dinosaur]]; fast and lots of attacks for not much points, prone to dying in a hail of arrow/bolter fire.
* '''[[Fiends of Slaanesh]]''', large creatures that look like a bizarre cross between an aardvark and a scorpion with rows of breasts, these are created when Slaanesh dreams (because apparently Chaos Gods sleep). They're basically if a Daemonette and a Seeker had a child.
* '''[[Seeker Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', hard hitting unit/squad-wipe models, this is whom you call for when you need that pesky [[tarpit]] removed. Right now. From other end of the board. Be cautious though, these things need protection like grimoire and preferrably invisibility,or at least [[Distraction Carnifex|target mitigation]] to live long enough to do their job since they are big targets with juicy 10 armor all round. Also never ever position yourself so that the enemy could have even remote chance of charging these things: even squad of retarded [[Tau|fire warriors]] or some [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Spearmen]] can take these chariots down in melee if they get the charge. These things live and die by the hammer of wrath attacks, use them accordingly. Also comes in the "Exalted Seeker Chariot" variant, which is literally just a larger Seeker Chariot crewed by higher ranked Daemonettes.
* '''[[Hellflayer Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', what happens when you combine enough Chariots to make Daemonettes literally [[/d/|dripping]] with excitement at being in battle.
* '''[[Keepers Of Secrets]]''', Slaanesh's Greater Daemons, like a Daemonette on steroids, ecstasy and Viagra. Created intentionally from Slaanesh's own darkest thoughts and desires, rather than the Daemonettes/Seekers/Fiends which are created passively, each is radically different (even though there's only been three different models, one of which is long out of production). Geniuses capable of turning entire armies to their side, or destroying civilizations. The default leaders of almost any Slaaneshi army, unless lead by a...
* '''[[Daemon Prince]]''', a human (with [[Dechala|one Elf]] as the exception) so devout to Slaanesh that they managed to become a Daemon. In Fantasy this is usually, but not always, a Warriors of Chaos Champion who made the perilous journey of getting not to little or too much attention while in her service.

=== 40k ===
* '''[[Chaos Space Marines]]''', the traitor marines of the [[Emperor's Children|third legion]] worship Slaanesh exclusively, as do warbands such as the Angels of Ecstasy and the Flawless Host. They also make up a large chunk of the Black Legion, as the Children of Torment.
** '''[[Noise Marines]]''', the specialist traitors dedicated to Slaanesh, akin to Khorne's [[Berserkers]], Nurgle's [[Plague Marines]] or Tzeentch's [[Thousand Sons]]. Aural-focused traitors who specialise in using [[Sonic Weaponry]] because the cacophony is the only thing that can register on their jaded senses anymore. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berghain Can be found IRL also.]

=== Fantasy ===
* '''[[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Druchii]]''': The Warhamer Fantasy evil Elves who are the highest ranking worshipers of Slaanesh, who they call Shornaal, in the [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Cult Of Pleasure]]. In most of the games history (4 editions out of 8 total, the first two having virtually no story whatsoever), Dark Elves had their origin in their Queen [[Morathi]] being the high priestess of Slaanesh, who corrupted her [[Malekith|son]] and about half the Elf race. While most Dark Elves torture and kill in the name of [[Khaine]], Morathi lead a cult of Chaos Elves and regularly allied with other Slaaneshi factions (other than Beastmen, because Morathi kept [[Harpies|her own]] as pets and shits on all others like a good Chaos character should). In later editions, Chaos Elves were retconned away into worshipers of [[Atharti]], [[Hekarti]], and [[Ereth Khial]], three Elven Slaanesh-expy gods, in order to redo the Dark Elf faction as evil Elves who ally with other Elves in the interest of mutual survival instead of evil Elves who just want to watch the world burn while a slave who's skin has been torn off gives them oral. This choice split many fans, some asking why Elves should worship Slaanesh when they have Khaine instead of Khorne, others asking why they worship Khaine when Khorne is better.
* '''[[Warriors of Chaos]]''': Not-Vikings/Mongols who live in the desolate north of Warhammer Fantasy and fight against each other when not raiding the rest of the world. The closer to the [[Warp Gates]] they are, the more like living Daemons while the furthest south are generally only concerned with survival and not offending gods.
* '''[[Beastmen]]''': Rapist omnivorous (in every sense of the word) animal-mutants that infest the world. Beastmen serve all of Chaos, some serve specific gods more than others but few serve one entirely. Live to literally and canonically shit on civilization and order. Ironically treated like shit by all of the rest of Chaos. Slaanesh, in keeping with the trend, allows his followers to fuck their women and drink their wine.
*'''Hellstriders''': Warriors of Chaos mounted upon Seeker mounts. Unlike most Chaos Gods, who give daemonic mounts as rewards for their best followers, Slaanesh (or Keepers of Secrets in Age of Sigmar given Slaanesh's imprisonment) gives out Seekers to the weak-willed and lazy looking for a quick path to power. Those who fall for this trap find that although they gain power, they also gain a crippling addiction to the souls of their enemies that quickly results in them losing all pleasure outside of killing. If a Hellstrider is unable to kill, they will quite literally die from withdrawal.

=== [[Age of Sigmar]] ===
* '''Lord of Pain''': BDSM-freak Chaos Lords who are obsessed with giving and receiving pain. Not only does their high pain tolerance make them almost Nurgle-level tough, but they can even reflect their pain back to their enemies.
* '''Shardspeaker of Slaanesh''': Slaaneshi sorcerers who use their magical mirrors to force their enemies to submit to their most shameful hidden desires.
* '''Myrmidesh Painbringers''': The warrior elite of the Hedonites. Myrmidesh Painbringers are unusually chosen for their ability to withstand temptation, denying all carnal pleasures for a single minded focus on perfecting combat and ensuring their enemies die in the most beautiful and painful ways possible.
* '''Symbaresh Twinsouls''': Trying to be a disciplined aescetic warrior while being surrounded by perverted freaks is hard. So it isn't suprising that some Myrmidesh find themselves unable to keep up their eternal No-Nut November and fall off the deep end, allowing their souls to be possessed by daemons. Expectedly, this fusing of daemon and mortal blood makes the Twinsouls a favored unit of [[Syll'Esske]].
* '''Blissbarb Archers''': The dregs of Hedonite warbands excluded from the rush of melee combat. They coat their arrows in the eponymous Blissbarb poison that’s one part aphrodisiac and another part paralyzing agent.
* '''Blissbarb Seekers''': When the aforementioned Archer gets their first taste of steel cutting their skin (and lives), they’re likely to become addicted to this feeling and seek to claim a Seeker as their mount in order to chase after this exquisite sensation.
* '''Slickblade Seekers''': Elite Hellstriders with a nasty jealous streak against anyone who dares to steal the killing blow from them.
* '''[[Slaangor]] Fiendbloods''': Slaangors are back baby! The shock troopers of the Hedonite hosts, they are venerated by other Slaaneshi followers as physical avatars of the Dark Prince.

==Potential semi-retcon of Slaanesh in 40k==
With the release of "Rise of the Ynnari: Wild Rider" we now have daemons of Slaanesh making an appearance during the [[War in Heaven]]? Now this could be just a case of timey wimey Warp shenanigans but it could also be an indication of something else! What if Slaanesh's "birth" was actually more akin to a rebirth of something far older; the original sin if you were.

It is known that even before the Fall agents of Slaanesh were already at large in the galaxy and actively seeking to bring it into being. If Slaanesh did indeed have a presence all the way back in the War in Heaven then perhaps it has always been there, seeking a way to return, as opposed to beginning to gestate within the Empyrean during the conflict itself.

Slaanesh isn't all about sex, [[Drug|drugs]] and more sex, but actually fits all of the seven deadly sins rather well: [[/d/|Lust]], [[RAGE|Wrath]], [[Blood Ravens|Greed]], [[Perturabo|Envy]], [[Giles|Gluttony]], [[Lazy Marines|Sloth]] and [[Cato Sicarius|Pride]] all fall under Slaanesh's domain; each of which play key roles in the other God's spheres of influence also. Of course these are taken to their extremes, as is Slaanesh's trade mark, but even the other Chaos Gods are extremes in their own way, and though they are all placed above the Dark Prince in terms of power they all may "fear" the influence that Slaanesh has the potential to hold over them and are very wary that the Dark Prince may eventually eclipse them all in power.

The War in Heaven is essentially the event(s) that created "Hell" in 40k as many races with a presence in the warp fought and died in the conflict, so it makes sense that there must have been an "original Satan"-like figure as well. Of course, this could be looking too much into this and talking out of our collective arse, but what with Slaanesh in [[Age of Sigmar]] no longer being counted amongst the Four, it opens up a lot of possibilities for when the Dark Prince does eventually return.

==The Wandering Knight in the Palace of Slaanesh==

(AKA [[Kaldor Draigo]] becomes a sleeper agent. Probably. Other things are possible, but this would slap down the Mary Sue, so really, why argue?)

While the other Chaos Gods rarely welcome intruders to their lands within the immaterium, Slaanesh loves to tempt visitors to his unnatural domain, and those that dare enter the Lord of Pleasure's territory risk becoming trapped in its warped delights for eternity.

Slaanesh's realm is divided into six domains, arranged in concentric rings about the Palace of Pleasure. Each of these is a celebration of Slaanesh's desires, and while they might be mistaken for paradises, nothing in the lands of the Dark Prince is as it seems. An intruder can only reach the Palace of Pleasure, in the very heart of Slaanesh's territory, by passing through all six of the circles-- an act of will beyond most souls, both mortal and demonic. One amongst the mortal visitors to his realm still looms large in the memory of Slaanesh, however-- a wandering knight of the Adeptus Astartes whose resolve was as strong as silvered adamantium.

The first circle the knight pushed through was richly appointed beyond the dreams of kings. Mountains of stacked gold reached towards rainbow mosaics of gemstones in the marble vaults high above; glittering ingots and diamonds beyond count littered the ground. The knight marched past many a starving wretch attempting to count the innumerable gold coins, their sallow faces twisted with mounting greed until their piles toppled, and, weeping, they had to start over again. At every corner of the crossroads stood gilded statues, some of beautiful Slaanesh, others of Daemons and mortals trapped in blissful ecstasy. The trails in the diamond dust underfoot betrayed the fact that the statues were once flesh and blood. The knight had left notions of material wealth long behind, and he strode on without touching a single coin.

Crunching his way across a beach of golden teeth, the knight came to the shores of a vast lake of dark wine. The lake was dotted with pallid islands formed from the backs of giants, each linked by criss-crossing bridges. The backward hands of each giant held up a table that groaned under the weight of a lavish feast. There, he saw mortal men gorging themselves on the banquet, wide-eyed and desperate in their hunger as others frantically tried to gulp down the lake itself. The bloated and the obese moaned in pain as they crammed ever more food into their wine-stained mouths. The knight pressed on, distaste twisting his features as he passed the grisly remains of those who had consumed so much that they had physically burst apart.

The wanderer made his way through fields of golden light and soft hay, where lissome maidens and beautiful youths frolicked near-naked in the hallucinogenic musk of the lithe beasts that cavorted with them. The faces and fertile forms of the dancers were impossibly sensual, moulded to the perfect desire of the heart. The knight held his breath and closed his eyes, for though mortal pleasures were forbidden to his order, part of him was still a man. The crooning nymphs gathered around the knight, stroking his silvered armour and whispering of the sweet carnal pleasures they would give him, but he yielded not. The severed limbs and heads that lay underfoot spoke of the truth behind the honeyed lies. Eyes shut, he cut down the daemonette seductresses around him one after another, letting revulsion guide his shining blade.

After fighting his way through the feminine contours of the foothills ahead, the knight emerged onto a balcony where he was greeted by roars of adulation and approval. An army of Space Marines so vast its number was beyond counting awaited before him on an endless plain, listening in fevered anticipation of his commands for conquest. Planetary governors nodded in obsequious anticipation, and the High Lords of Terra smiled up at him from smaller balconies of their own, motioning him to speak. The knight recognised one of the rulers from his own mortal life, and stood before him, looking deep into the Philosopher-King's eyes. Behind the mask of power and self-assurance, he saw eternal, nagging paranoia, gnawing suspicion and hidden doubts that were acid to the soul. The knight shook his head sadly and walked away.

Wearied by his ordeals, the wanderer strode on through a mesmerising woodland paradise, its maze of pathways thick with flowers and heavy with thorns. The gentle, fragrant breeze whispered to the knight of past glories, reminding him of the executions he had performed in the Emperor's name. Mirrored pools reflected the knight as a shining saint, his face serene but his sword bloodied as he artfully carved apart rank after rank of red-skinned Daemons. The warrior turned away, troubled. In the distance, he could make out tortured figures staring intently into mirror pools of their own, each held immobile by the undergrowth as whispering thorns insinuated themselves into their flesh. The wanderer turned his mind to the humility of the cell he once called home. As he did so, the path through the maze writhed and straightened out before him. So the knight trudged on.

An endless beach stretched away from the knight, and heavenly choirs sung soothing lullabies as the perfumed sea lapped at the fortress walls of his mind. The wanderer's bones cried out for rest, even if only for a moment. The warmth of the golden sun above calmed his soul, and the tide began to erode his will. His tired eyes could barely stay open, but his vision was still clear enough to see the horrible truth: the bone-white sand was made from the remains of those who had rested here and fallen into a coma of blissful indolence. His resolve hardened, the knight strode on toward the shimmering palace in the distance.

It was there, beneath the elegant spires, that the wanderer came before almighty Slaanesh. Statuesque and divinely glamorous, the deity visited him in the form of a young man possessed of an androgynous beauty, clean-limbed and fresh with the vigour of youth. The knight unsheathed his rune-etched sword and made to strike him down. To his horror, he found that he could not, for the god-prince was disarming in his innocence and utterly beguiling in his manner.

Even the purest flame can be extinguished by the tide. In that single moment of doubt, the wanderer was lost. He knelt, bowing his head at last, and a single touch of the being's glowing sceptre on each shoulder sealed his fate for eternity.

== Facts ==
[[File:Nope.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Alright, who's next for "Purifying"?]]
* [[Ynnead]] is secretly Slaanesh
*[[Sanguinius]] is jealous of Slaanesh because they are the only one more fabulous than hi-{{BLAM}}
* Slaanesh wants to fuck the Emperor, but every time they try, the Big E psychically bitch-slaps them, destroys all their sex toys and sex slaves and breaks their hands so they can't fap for a while.
* Slaanesh knows that you can't spell happiness without penis.
** Slaanesh is dyslexic.
***Slaanesh also knows that you can't spell dyslexic without sex
* The title of Slaanesh's greatest mortal champion is owned by Shädman''(ayyyyy)''
* Slaanesh is bitching over the fact how their only representation in the DoW series was the [[Emperor's Children]] paint scheme. And they aren't even Slaaneshi like, they're just a generic chaos army. Although, they did grant favor to Eliphas for smashing a ton of soulstones. (And their colours aren't even correct.)
**However, concerning stated above, the developers have added noise marines for Dawn of war 2: Retribution. This has made Slaanesh quite happy. However, he/she/it is still <s>pissed off of not getting enough representation</s> OFFENDED BY THIS SILENCE, considering Nurgle gets Plague Champion hero, the Plague Marine Tier 2 unit, and the Epic Great Unclean One daemon, Khorne then gets the Khornate Chaos Lord, Bloodletters and Bloodcrushers, while Tzeentch gets the Sorcerer hero, has the most effective upgrade for the basic CSM squad (Warpfire bolts make everything in front of them shit brix and was flat out broken in earlier versions of its introduction), and all of the Anti-armor upgrades, while they only get a single unit that frankly eclipsed by either Plague Marines or generic Havocs with an autocannon.
* Charlie Sheen is their first true Daemon Prince (though he was recently diagnosed with HIV which resulted from his sexcapades, so looks like he could swing towards [[Nurgle]]. But just like [[Fulgrim]] his body probably needs to be destroyed first before he can ascend). It was nearly Malcolm Mcdowell, on account of Mcdowell's filmography including two of Slaanesh's favorite films (see below) and Mcdowell's hedonistic younger years; before Charlie had even reached puberty, Mcdowell was already far into sex and drugs both in his films and real-life. But as he got older, Mcdowell turned away from hedonism and cleaned himself up. Other contenders include Gene Simmons and Tila Tequila.
* Slaanesh gets beaten up/off by all of the other Chaos Gods on a fairly regular basis, and gets off on it.
* If it exists, [[PROMOTIONS|Slaanesh faps/shlicks/shlaps to it]].
* Tzeentch likes to trick Slaanesh into fighting Khorne to get his daily dose of lulz. Slaanesh always loses these fights pretty badly; and each time, Slaanesh takes it pretty hard. [[C.S.Goto|And this pleases them.]]
* Slaanesh is secretly depressed that have no friends. Khorne is a dick, and Tzeentch is the biggest dick there is. Nurgle is nice, but Slaanesh can't get over the fact that he cucked them. ("Can't get over it" in both a [[PROMOTIONS|positive]] and [[RAGE|negative]] sense.)
** Also, Nurgle has ''all'' the STDs, which would make him Slaanesh's natural enemy out in the wild. Isha's immunity to all diseases is better than any protection, which is a pretty substantial reason why Slaanesh liked her.
* Slaanesh gets bullied by all the other Chaos Gods constantly because none of them like him/her/it. This does not upset the balance, though, because Slaanesh likes BDSM where they being bullied and tortured by the other Chaos Gods.
* Slaanesh is Tzeentch's second favorite victim for his hijinks, because it's oh so easy to string them along with offers of porn, whores, BDSM and/or drugs.
* Khorne [[Rip and Tear|regularly tears off Slaanesh's arms]] and beats them over the head with them (Again, this inadvertently makes Slaanesh orgasm).
* Slaanesh was doping when they killed the Eldar Gods, they couldn't really beat them all without using performance enhancing drugs. (at least that what Khaine, a god of war and destruction, keeps insisting when ever someone asks him why he got both figuratively and possibly literally raped by a god(ess) of sex drugs and rock'n'roll)
** Slaanesh is always on drugs (Except psychiatric medication, they kill sex drive down to the very biology)
* Slaanesh attempted to fight the Nightbringer in a desperate attempt to win back some street cred, they got their left boob cut off for their trouble. It hurt so bad/good that it retroactively cut off the left boobs of all of Slaanesh's greater daemons and that's why they all only have one boob (or six). Given the new backstory and their time of birth, this means that Slaanesh lost against a Necron Pokémon.
* Slaanesh is a great patron of the arts. Their favourite films include:
** Hellraiser: Slaanesh's number one film. In fact, they took a lot of inspiration on many of the movie's aspects... <strike>That is, of course, a lie. They actually ripped off Hellraiser.</strike> Hellraiser ripped them off. Slaanesh had a cameo appearance in the sequel dressed as a lozenge.
** A Serbian Film: Slaanesh's second favorite movie. They already started putting NEWBORN PORN into her/his daily schedule.
** Pink Flamingos: Slaanesh's third favourite movie, which is actually a film adaptation of Slaanesh's journal. Slaanesh especially enjoyed the depictions of their hobbies (including bestiality, scat fetishes and vore), that the movie quotes them directly (see Divine's quote above).
** A Clockwork Orange: One of Slaanesh's favorite movies; not so much the book it was adapted from as it was less about sex and more a commentary on the nature of morality. (Although Slaanesh faps/shlicks to commentaries on morality too.) They like to jerk-off at many of the movie's aspects, but more notably Malcolm Mcdowell's sexy face. They also find the death of one of the characters totally hilarious, due to the fact that said character was killed by a giant rocking ceramic phallus straight to the face. '''BLOWJOB OF DEATH !!! LULZ !!!''' Unbelievable and improbable? Well here's evidence to prove it: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbRSag-L-GQ Giant rocking ceramic phallus attack !!!].
** The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Mostly because of Tim Curry (who is actually Slaanesh).
** Legend: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3J91bPrW9A Also because of Tim Curry, who practically plays a daemon prince of Slaanesh].
** Caligula: The movie written by Gore Vidal for copious amounts of sex, incest and Malcolm Mcdowell as the title character. Slaanesh's favorite scenes are when Caligula engages in an incestuous threesome with his sister and his fiance, and the giant orgies on stage (don't watch the latter if you have a weak stomach - there's a real snake in one scene and [[FATAL|you don't want to know what the woman does with it]]).
** Eyes Wide Shut. Slaanesh has heard the film described as "Just Artsy Porn", but doesn't get the criticism. It's Art and it's Porn. What's not to love?
** Event Horizon: A documentary of how he/she/it is directly responsible for fucking up humanity's first venture into the Warp.
** High Rise: Some say it holds the essence of the one time Slaaneshi and Khaine got jiggy with it.
** Salo or 120 days of Sodom: Slaanesh liked it better when they thought it was real and not just special effects.
** The Stuff: A movie about the time some railroad workers found lakes of Slaanesh's jizz at a quarry and marketed it as dessert food due to its properties, leading to numerous shenanigans and giving Slaanesh much lulz that they never learned where it came from.
* Slaanesh enjoys the Song of Ice and Fire books due to the copious amounts of incest and midget sex and the TV adaption Game of Thrones because they added sex scenes and casting several porn stars on top of this.
* Slaanesh's favorite band is GWAR, because everything with them is sex, drugs, and rock and roll in excess, even covering their audience in jizz, blood, random chemicals, and mixtures of all three, and inciting massive blood orgies constantly.
* Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams is also suspected to be one of the early influences of Slaanesh in human music culture, the singer suspected to be one of his/her/its avatars.
* Slaanesh gets ALL the pussy, as well as all the dick, cloca, ovipositor, stamen, pistil, and pilus.
* Slaanesh tried to seduce all of the remaining C'tan at once. Slaanesh ended up getting the pleasure sensors in its brain lobotomized. S/he got off on this.
* Slaanesh found Captain Flashheart so magnificent in Blackadder that they created a daemon prince in his image. Woof woof!
* Despite psychic powers supposedly being Tzeentch's specialty, Slaanesh's tend to be the really [[cheese|cheesy]] ones. 3rd edition had a minor power called Siren, which forbids the caster from being shot at in the opponent's shooting phase (it's just as broken as it sounds). 4th edition has Lash of Submission, which the Chaos Marine tactics cover the usage of (in a nutshell, GW admitted they didn't realize how good it turned out to be and it was the most used on daemon princes even though the +1I from the required MoS wasn't very useful). And what about 6th edition? While Tzeentchian sorcerers focus on pwning the shit our of enemy with (mediocre) mind bullets and warp-beams, Slaaneshi ones pack a whole lot of cheesy buffs and debuffs, which makes them so much better. Similar deal in Fantasy, where Slaanesh, some of the time, offers a better selection of magic than Tzeentch.
*Slaanesh is the only entity in existence who listens to the My Dad Wrote A Porno podcast purely for erotic purposes. He/she/it cannot understand for the life of him/her/it why no one else finds cervix-grabbing sexy.
** Still, ]they fap/shlick/???-PROFIT at this.
*Mentioning the names of Vint Cerf and Bob Kahn gives Slaanesh a massive boner/lady-boner. Though Slaanesh didn't have a hand in inventing the internet, three guesses why Slaanesh loves the internet, and the first two don't count. Mentioning Hugh Hefner also has a similar effect.
* As a patron of the arts, Slaanesh has many favorite authors, so can't pick one. Having said that, Marquis de Sade is a strong contender.
* Considering that Slaanesh is about excess, there might be several other types of Marines besides Noise Marines we don't know about:
** Smell Marines, who use gasses to do whatever they wish through peoples noses, whether it be death, insanity, paralysis, suggestibility, 'seeing colors', and so on, always permanent brain damage. This is a way to get Nurgle followers to convert.
**Sight Marines, whose weapons create wondrously intricate bloom and color effects of equally detailed and aesthetically (only to a branch of masochists masochists can't stand) pleasing. This is a way to get Khorne followers to convert.
** Touch Marines, who know the nervous system better than a Bene Gesserit, able to bring the mightiest warriors down with the right jab in the right spot, consumed with uncontrollable orgasms.
**Taste Marines, think about the spiciest thing you've ever eaten, now imagine that a million times stronger, we are talking Exterminatus level of scovilles here, literally melt your god damn tongue off heat. It's like that only worse. They would use super pepper spray that can literally eat through armor.
*Also, a former Tzeentch follower gone Slaaneshi would be incredibly dangerous: Tzeentch followers understand indeterminism (from a very distorted, cynical perspective) and also see knowledge as power per circumstance to win where force, charisma and economics cannot. A devout Slaaneshi seeks to experience everything. Thus a former Tzeentchian, already well read on enough to convince themselves they experienced it, or well read enough to steal peoples experiences, who became a hedonist addict as well would be left with one desire: to be omnipotent and thus be able to go beyond the limits of mortal imaginings in pursuit of understanding and experience for the sake of understanding and experience.
*Slaanesh tried to get in Khorne's head by seeking to understand the appeal of skulls. Instead Slaanesh got bored and invented the idea of skullfucking. <br/> '''{{Blam|DAMN IT SLAANESH WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SKULL THRONE THIS IS DISGUSTING!! IT'S EVERYWHERE!! IT'S OOZING OUT OF EVERY EYE SOCKET!!! I'M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO SIT ON THAT AGAIN AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!}}'''
**Khorne secretly loves it when Slaanesh does this, because now he has even more of an excuse to go out and collect enough skulls to replace it.
*[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Slaanesh Patrols will skull fuck your family.]]
* [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|If you masturbate with barbed wire, a daemon of slaanesh will be summoned, and you will be exterminatus-ed]]
* Slaanesh secretly wants Khorne. S/he's upset that the 'Special K' hates her/him/it.
**However, if Slaanesh ever did create a copy of him/her/their/itself, then the two would immediately try to murderfuck each other, in a kinky simulacrum of Highlander. This would apply to all of the main ruinous powers, <s>apart from</s> including Nurgle, <s>who would simply hug his</s> whose female double <s>and then get to work with said double on a particularly virulent strain of super aids/crotch rot.</s> would get jealous of Isha and conspire with Slaanesh to get rid of that home-wrecking skank.
*Slaanesh is the patron <s>god</s> <s>goddess</s> deity of bonobos (look them up).
*Slaanesh's ''only'' criticism of the Cats movie is that there are no visible genitals.
* Slaanesh #fuckedPalpatine.

== Gallery ==
{{heresy}}
{{promotions}}
{{/d/}}
<gallery>
Klaher-baklaher-slanesh.jpg
Image:Slaaneshfaggot.jpeg|A real-life worshipper of Slaanesh.
Image:Slaaneshi.JPG|Slaanesh followers DO COCAINE!!!!!!!!
Image:Daemonette commisssar.JPG|That's a real [[commissar]], just look at the [[hat]].
Image:Daemonette02.JPG|DDaemonette
Image:Daemonette01.JPG|It's not furry, you can totally fap to it.

Image:Daemonette.JPG
Image:Slaaneshi2.JPG|Why it's good to be Slaanesh follower.
Image:Daemonxmas copy.jpg|Slaanesh can be festive as well.
Image:Lurvemudkipz.JPG|Evidence that it is possible that some [[pokémon]] are susceptible to Chaotic influence.

Image:Slaaneshi mudkips.JPG|Oh god. ;_;
Image:Slaanesh trainer.jpg|There is no excuse or explanation for this.
Image:Slaaneshijack copy.jpg|This image can be used to improve a bad thread.
Image:Irresistible.jpg|Simply Irresistible

Image:Dranon5.jpg|Mr Culexus' interpretation of Slaanesh. Notice the massive bulge in the crotch that's bigger than it's boobs.
Image:Not_too_abysmal_by_Mr_Culexus.jpg|Love can bloom in the galaxy of Transylvania
Image:1271157389405.jpg|What a Slaaneshi raptor would look like by non-GW canon.
Image:daemonette_minerva.png|Who else did you think furries worshiped?

Image:Slaanesh_LAWL.jpg|LAWL
Image:Trapmarine.jpg|Slaanesh Chaos Marines come with a little "extra"...
Image:Trapmarine_BW.jpg|... which may not be so "little".
Image:Daemonette_with_seeker_mount.jpg|She "rides" it... if you know what I mean... no seriously, zoom in if you don't believe me. Although for your sake you really should take my word for it.

Image:643214 - Daemonette Eldar Warhammer 40k howling banshee warhammer yuliapw.jpg|The more common and usual fate of Eldar.
Image:Slaanesh cosplay 1 by zk87-d2zo47q.jpg|Now 262.71% more real!
Image:Slaanesh Time.jpg|You might be mixing up love and lust.
Image:Slaanesh_miniature_closeup.jpg|Gimme some sugar

Image:Slaanesh+hr giger.jpg|H. R. Geiger is pleased
Image:Slaanesh by zk87-d2z4bpv.jpg|Lashes of Torment!
Image:Slaanesh-153102-SweetAngel.jpg|She Who Thirsts indeed
Image:Khorne-and-Slaanesh.jpg|Khorne is sooo tsundere...
Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated]

Image:Dark_Prince_of_Pleasure_Slaanesh_wfrp.jpg|From the old [[WFRP]] days
Image:MoeSlaanesh.png|How can anyone not want to serve something so utterly <s>adorable</s> heretical?
Image:1419021850273.jpg|Yes, that is a Santa outfit.
Image:Anons_fall_to_Chaos.png|Anon heralds the Age of Strife.
Image:Champion of Slaanesh RL.png| We have the makings of a daemon prince here!
Image:HereticalUseOfChainswords.gif| When you say "Go Fuck Yourself with a Chainsword," Slaanesh will take it literally.
Image:Cultist-chan24.jpg|Slaanesh has improved cultist chan
Image:Wildslaanesh.png|Slaanesh Demon corrupts children
Image:Slaanesh-sorcerer.jpeg|Slaanesh makes the Cenobites from Hellraiser look good.
</gallery>

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever
Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho!
Don't dream it, be it...
Don't dream it, be it...

==See Also==
*[[Azazel]] - The oldest existing [[Daemon Prince]] of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[Dechala]] - The oldest existing Chaos Champion special character of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[The Masque]] - Slaanesh's former fav fab Daemonette stripper, and current PR rep.
*[[Sigvald]], Slaanesh's favorite not-Caligula/not-Joffrey.
*The [[Emperor's Children]] legion - The largest contingent of sick fucks on this side of the warp. And on that side of the warp.
*[[Fulgrim]] - Primarch of the largest contingent of sick fucks ever.
*[[Fabius Bile|Fabulous Bile]] - What you get by combining a self-obsessed homosexual and Dr. Frankenstein, only this one is played by geriatric [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kane_%28wrestler%29 Glenn Jacobs] instead of young Tim Curry.
*[[Lucius]] - Considered by some as the Sickest of Fucks amongst the living.
*[[Doomrider]] - He does COCAINE!
*[[Miriael Sabathiel]] - The most infamous [[Sisters of Battle|Sister of Battle]] to fall to Slaanesh. Commonly mistaken as the ''only'' Chaos Sister of Battle by people who haven't read [[Ephrael Stern|Daemonifuge]]. Last seen hunting Eldar to give them [[Rape|hugs]].
*[[Codex - Fallen Sororitas]] - An entire homebrew army of Slaaneshi Sisters of Battle.
*[[Daemonette]] - Daemons of Slaanesh. Viewing said content is heretical, in 20 seconds or less after clicking the link, expect a squad of inquisitorial storm troopers to barge-in and blam you to hell.
*[[Reasonable Daemonette]] - Slaanesh's perversion knows no bounds. Hers does, and she respects yours.
*[[Loli D]] - The [[loli]] variant of the Slaaneshi Daemonette. Viewing said content is [[Extra Heresy|extra heretical]]. E-Commissars can and will [[Exterminatus|blam you from your monitor with the utmost prejudice]] if you click on this link.
*[http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Slaanesh's_sacrifice.pdf Slaanesh's Sacrifice] - Some Slaaneshi writefaggotry for the more heretical among you.
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRPIsrxUc_E Rick and Morty's visit to the Realm of Slaanesh]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-gHgcmFB6Q Slaanesh's visit to the Realm of Rick and Morty]
*[https://pastebin.com/5QZMB7nH Excessively Vanilla] - AKA the '''one''' time Slaanesh goes full-on vanilla, including actual marriage, handholding, and under the cover missionary sex for the sole purpose of procreation
{{Template:ChaosGods}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Hedonites of Slaanesh]]

Slaanesh

2020-12-05T05:35:20Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

[[File:Slaanesh_mark.png|center]]
{{awesome}}
{{heresy}}
{{Promotions}}
{{/d/}}
{{sick|The hermaphrodite god/goddess of rape who wants to eat everyone's souls and rape them forever.}}

[[Image:Slaanesh_by_baklaher-d7dvohn.jpg|thumb|500px|right|Slaanesh... tempting you to join a [[rape|party in which you will never forget...]] [[Rule 34|also now in even more NSFW!]]]]

<span style='color:purple;font-size:100%'>'''''PORN FOR THE PORN GOD! SMUT FOR THE SMUT THRONE! RAPE FOR THE RAPE TRAIN!<br> - The Motto that Slaanesh wants YOU to believe in'''''</span>

{{Topquote|Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.|Dr. Frank-N-Furter, Rocky Horror Picture Show}}

{{Topquote|To be loved, feelings must be rationed. To love, the doors of hysteria, fantasy, and madness may be flung open.|Anton LaVey}}

{{Topquote|An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom.|Charles Baudelaire}}

{{Topquote|Everything is good when it is excessive.|Donatien-Alphonse-François, AKA Marquis de Sade}}

{{Topquote|Blood does more than turn me on, it makes me cum. And more than the sight of it, I love the taste of it. The taste of hot, freshly killed blood... Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth are my politics! Filth is my life! Take whatever you like.|Divine, Pink Flamingoes}}

{{Topquote|OO! KINKY!|Anyone who ever set eyes on a daemon of slaanesh}}

==Introduction: The Slaanesh Inquisition==
[[Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|thumb|500px|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated.] Wait, one whip is held in the hand and the other is held in the...]]
Behold '''Slaanesh''', also known as '''Shaarnor (to [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Elves and some humans]]), Shornaal (to [[Warriors of Chaos|humans and some Elves]]), The Dark Prince, the Lord of Excess, Leviathan, Lord of the Labyrinth, Dr. Frank-N-Furter, The Sweet Transvestite, The Lusty Argonian Maid, the Colossal Pervert''', '''the Ultimate Trap''', '''Never Went to Rehab''', '''Slut4Evar''', '''the one who ruins everything,''' '''the new thing,''' and multiple other names. Slaanesh is the [[Chaos God]] of [[/d/|perversion, Hentai]], [[Extra Heresy|shamelessness]], [[Furry|excess]], [[Rebecca Black|the most disgusting Pop Music in the history of ever]], sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Heretical Fa/tg/uys cannot resist the most disgusting [[heresy]] of masturbating furiously to Slaanesh and their [[daemonette]]s.

Slaanesh was 'born' (in this case semi literally, from aspects other chaos gods had.) at the fall of the [[Eldar]], when all their torture, [[rape]], S&M, bondage, decadence, eventually tore the fabric of reality a new one and gave birth to Slaanesh along with the [[Eye of Terror]], killing the majority of their race. Thus, the final chaos god is known as the one that was literally murderfucked into existence. As a result, Slaanesh owns almost every last Eldar soul in the entire galaxy. In the event of an Eldar dying without a spirit stone, he or she becomes Slaanesh's sex toy for all of eternity day and night forever and ever (excluding Exodites, whose soul will automatically go to their planet's world spirit and Harlequins, who are scooped up by the [[Cegorach|great clown]] himself, and the faithful of Ynnead). This is why Eldar are willing to manipulate entire worlds into [[Exterminatus|exterminating]] each other just to save one of their own. The [[Dark Eldar]] take this up to eleven; because they do not use spirit stones nor are they protected like the Harlequins, Slaanesh is constantly sanding their souls down around the edges. In order to circumvent this they resort to huffing the souls of those in agony or of those who have recently died. However this isn't done ''just'' for survival; the Dark Eldar revel in sadism for its own sake too. In the end every Eldar in the galaxy, even the Drukhari and the Harlequins, are inextricably linked to Slaanesh in some way.

Of course, the descriptions above apply primarily to Slaanesh's WH40K history. In WHFB, Slaanesh has no real backstory and sort of just came out of nowhere like the other Chaos gods.

Among other things, Slaanesh is the god of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. Slaanesh is fueled by excess and pleasure, which means gratuitous amounts of anything generally fall under its influence. This actually becomes a big problem for Khorne, the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]] and the other Chaos Gods, whose worshipers have to constantly try not to enjoy themselves too much lest they end up feeding the Warp's whipping bitch. Especially when the Inquisition is all too enthusiastic about whipping heretics.It is for this reason ironically enough that she is hated by every single entity in the warp, Yes even Nurgle. More on that below.

Many horny juveniles who have just found Warhammer seem to be obsessed with Slaanesh being a God(ess) of sexual pleasure. While [[fluff]] claims this is not true, in practical terms Slaanesh is the deity of pleasure, which can be broad. Pleasure can be derived from various sources, as such this can be anything from sex, eating, companionship, and so on and so forth. However, because Chaos is Chaos, Slaanesh is mostly associated with the extremes of pleasure including lechery, gluttony, extreme masochism, extreme sadism, perverse sexual deviance, and so on. These are just some of the pleasures Slaaneshi followers partake in because Slaanesh's credo is to experience everything to the fullest. As a practitioner falls ever deeper into the embrace of their dark god, they are consumed with a need to drive these sensations first to the limit of human experience, and then beyond into madness. This basically means: why settle for one loving wife to have sex with you when you can have a hive world of insatiable concubines to fulfill your every desire? Or why eat one disgustingly expensive luxury meal when you could eat a Paradise world's supply of the stuff? Why just resort to cutting yourself to feel the pleasure of pain when you could be chopping off lumps of your flesh to heighten the sensation of pain? Numerous examples of 40k lore have made it apparent that while those who fall to Slaanesh might start off with a desire to fulfill their rather run-of-the-mill baser instincts, it always spirals into insanity. For example, in the novel ''Shadowsword'', a young nobleman makes a deal with a devilish creature so that he can possess and sleep with his lady love, who is also his first cousin. By the time all is said and done, a grand party to welcome the forces of Chaos to their world turns into a charnel scene where the guests ''imagine'' themselves to be dancing and enjoying fine food and drink, but in reality they are tearing each other apart with their bare hands and engaging in cannibalism; others believe that they are embracing when their bodies and flesh are literally melding together. These are the types of scenes that truly resonate in the Warp, and thus grant Slaanesh power.

One would think that if, as claimed, Slaanesh was the lord of all ''pleasure'' then Slaanesh would be omnipotent because, in the end, biological and psychological fact tells us that every living thing with a fucking Neuron acts in order to feel pleasure and escape pain (the "pleasure principle"). However, here is the most important thing worth emphasizing, just in case you haven't picked it up already: the point of Slaanesh is not to revel in ''any'' pain or pleasure. Rather, the point is to gain power from exposing mortals to the types of experiences that a sane person ''could not'' and ''would not'' ever be able to imagine in the first place. For all but the very strongest and most devout, this pollutes and twists their very souls to such an extent that they remain in thrall to Slaanesh forever. Such horizons of experience and sensation are far, far beyond the predictable inclinations and fetishes of your typical 4chan fa/tg/uy.

Even [[Khorne]], Slaanesh's primary rival, feels pleasure in killing, and Tzeentch feels pleasure in [[Just as Planned]]. That is why 40k lore tends to focus on Slaanesh as a God of the most disgusting pleasures ever, not as a God of all pleasure. Additionally, in the [[fluff]], it does state that most pleasures (like regular love or the desire to eat) that might be covered under the "pleasure principle" are too "weak" to sustain Slaanesh. Considering that it's damn hard for most humans to get more than a piece of stale toast and a dry handjob before collapsing from exhaustion after a grueling 80-hour week working in some hive-world factory for the Emprah, the only way to get enough sex, drugs, and partying in to impress Slaanesh is to be a ruthless, controlling, evil bastard. (''It is worth noting that GW seems to have picked up somewhat on this fact. As of the latest daemon codex it does mention that Slaanesh has a particular way of influencing the other chaos gods and that they are all weary of them given that they draw some strength from the extreme behaviours they promote in their followers and are subject to themselves.'')

Slaanesh is also associated with the arts and creativity, as creativity means pursuing one's own personal desires. Self-indulgence and personal expression are the bedrock of the arts, after all. Those attracted to Slaanesh could theoretically be more than just aristocratic ravers, but also particularly eccentric artists, writers, etc. Slaanesh is Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll in the purest sense of the word. It is not just the depraved orgy after the concert, but the scintillatingly brilliant concert that caused the orgy to begin with. One could assume that, in order to prevent Slaanesh's influence from spreading, the Imperium of Man would censor not just content but style. A radically structured poem, a painting with hints of debased content, even a deviation from traditional chord structures would presumably bring the Inquisition to your doorstep.

If Slaanesh had a voice actor, it would be [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc80tFJpTuo Tim Curry] and/or Tilda Swinton.

==What? Warhammer?==
[[File:Slaanesh Old.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The first depiction of Slaanesh in Warhammer art.]]
In the new [[Age of Sigmar]] setting, Slaanesh has gone missing. Tyrion and Malerion worked together to capture Slaanesh, unknowningly helped along by the machinations of Tzeentch. Thus Slaanesh has been removed from the Pantheon of Chaos and replaced by the [[Horned Rat]]. Derp. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIMg2Xw4_8s While it was thought Slaanesh is being kept in a hidden warehouse while Tyrion works him/her over to make Slaanesh give back Aliathra's soul], this is revealed to be mostly true. [[Games Workshop|due to reasons discussed on GW's page here]].
[[File:AoSBeholdSlaanesh.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Slaanesh imprisoned: Unable to decide which dildo to use first, Slaanesh is effectively neutralized! Ingenious! (Also, to answer the question you never asked, Slaanesh is not circumcised. Seriously, take a close look at where those chains pierce)]]

Yet hope for Slaanesh faction lovers still remains. With Slaanesh missing, his forces have split between those trying to find and free Slaanesh (the refer to themselves as Seekers), those who are trying to claim their former master's position (they are referred to as Pretenders and consists of every Chaos Lord and Keeper of Secrets that wants to claim their former masters position as the new god of depravity) and those who have continued to be allied to Archaon in his wars against the Mortal Realms (who are referred to as Invaders). This last faction is currently the biggest and is the main Slaanesh force fighting Order; it is mostly being led by Slaanesh's greater daemons who lead Slaanesh's demonic and mortal followers but some have actually looked to venerating Archaon as their replacement deity.

With the release of the Daughter of Khaine battletome it's revealed that Slaanesh has been trapped in the void space between Ulgu (Realm of Shadows) and Hysh (Realm of Light) by the collective work of [[Tyrion]] and [[Teclis]], now gods of the Hysh, [[Malekith|Malerion]], god of Shadow, and [[Morathi]]. There the elf gods are slowly taking back the elf souls the Chaos god had devoured after the End Times, reforging them to their liking, while Slaanesh is trapped in a position that will make it impossible for him to escape. That is, unless Morathi cast a spell to get more souls than it was initially planned for her to receive, a spell that would weaken the chains that are keeping Slaanesh trapped, which of course she did. Now Slaanesh is ever so slowly getting further from Hysh and closer to Ulgu, which enabled Slaanesh's followers to learn where he was. The only things standing in their way are the fact that they can't reach Slaanesh's prison, the aelf gods and their forces. Even then, Slaanesh might eventually be able to free itself.

With the announcement of Realm of Chaos: Wrath and Rapture, it appears GW is ready to bring Slaanesh back to the 40k and AoS universes, along with a (daemonic) host of new models. And this did come to pass... Though it isn't as grand as many would have hoped. It has been revealed that the 66 chains holding Slaanesh (real subtle, GW) can be broken by certain depraved or powerful acts, ie, an excess of anger from Khorne, or a Stormhost turning on the people they protect (which did happen and was engineered by Slaanesh taking a leaf from Tzeentch's book). Having broken a handful of the chains Slaanesh cast illusions to prevent the elves from discovering this, and if the majority of chains get shattered Slaanesh will be strong enough to break the rest. If Slaanesh ever did escape, he would immediately try and engulf all of Ulgu and Hysh, securing two whole realms and thereby winning the great game though Khorne would object violently, as would Archaon. However, Archaon still needed Slaanesh and was actively tracking down the trapped god. Archaon eventually succeeded at finding Slaanesh and started working to free him, though Slaanesh's sass vexed Archaon. It would've worked eventually, but Archaon had a vision of the Nighthaunt and Bonereapers taking the Shyish realmgate and attacking the Varanspire. Though Archaon was pissed, since he knew the elf gods would move Slaanesh's prison and tighten security after this, he abandoned Slaanesh and went back to the Allpoints.

But now Slaanesh is a mommy/daddy! During Morathi's ritual for godhood, Slaanesh's spasms caused a stream of saliva that interacted with Morathi's ritual and gained sentience. The entity burst from Slaanesh's prison, and flew through the skies across Ulgu, mutating everything with its presence before crashing to the ground. The Godseekers followed it to the point of impact, and over time thousands of Hedonites gathered. There the entity, known only as The Newborn, took on a form so beautiful and terrible that many who looked upon it died and it spoke to Hedonites, and they may have found a new path to worship Slaanesh.

== Followers ==
[[File:Slaanesh Banners.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Slaaneshi banners.]]
Slaanesh attracts mortal followers from those seeking to become charismatic and popular, but instead corrupts them to become [[Chris-Chan|colossal perverts]]; alternatively, she may attract followers from those who are already [[Ultramarines|colossal perverts]], and corrupt them to become more charismatic and popular. [[Just as planned]].

Alternatively, Slaanesh sometimes finds those in the mortal realm with far more looks than brains to approach and gives them everything they could ever want because she tells them that they simply deserve it, with nothing expected in return...other than them turning into a collossal egotistical hedonist with no sense of responsibility, right and wrong, or empathy as they fuck over creation on whim or for the lulz due to the ultimate entitlement complex possible.

Slaanesh and Khorne actually compete for the same pool of followers more often than you'd think, which is part of his hatred for it. A good rule of thumb is this: if a warrior wants to be the ''best'', gets his thrills from making that perfect shot, that perfect move, [[/v/|that perfect 360 noscope,]] to [[powergamer|hone his or her skills the sharpest they can ever be]], or debasing their foes, they're Slaaneshi...even if they don’t want to be. If the thrill lies in just killing people-- the pure joy of murder-- and the skill is just a way of facilitating that, they're Khornate. Slaaneshi types also get off on the sensory overload rather than actual killing or even pain, like the Emperor's Children who get carved up by Raven Guard and won't fight back because the feeling of lightning claws dicing them up is too damn blissful. [[Troll|They also get off on the reactions they get from others]]-- for example, the loyalist who Lucius tricks into slaughtering his own men. These are things that Khorne can’t stand, because Khorne has standards. Slaanesh takes those standards, throws them out the window, follows them out the window and murderfucks them with its arms pumping wildly.

When it come to more "social" followers, Slaanesh competes with Tzeentch, as followers of both are known for being silver-tongued manipulative dicks with a huge hard-on for power. Here the difference lies in that Slaaneshi followers seek power for their own gain, usually through charismatic speeches and the like, while Tzeenchians often have more altruistic goals or are more interested in the process of gaining power than actually getting it, intentionally raising the challenge to impossible level just to feed their ambitions. Tzeentch followers are quite notable for being dicks, not evil monsters (...usually, also barring daemons). Other than being egotistical trolls they're pretty normal people. The 'huge hard-on' part is also much more [[Heresy|literal]] in Slaanesh's case. However Tzeentch has realized that since personal gain is inevitable when scheming, Slaanesh still wins, so Tzeentch hates them too.

Apart from [[AIDS|the obvious]], Slaanesh and Nurgle rarely have any interaction. There was the matter of the [[Isha|qt Eldar waifu]] Slaanesh wanted to keep for [[/d/|some]] [[rape|after-party]] [[FATAL|entertainment]], but since Nurgle is a fa/tg/uy at heart he couldn't resist claiming her for himself. <s>But they're mostly over that</s> Slaanesh is over it, Nurgle is not. Otherwise, their domains are just too different that they don't overlap all that much. Those who are ambitious and feel they deserve better choose Slaanesh, while those who give up or accept their lot fall into Nurgle's open, sweaty arms. Conflict occurs, but love of the self and love of others aren't as mutually exclusive as the desire to destroy and the desire to create, or a demand for the spotlight against careful orchestration. That being said Nurgle is still not fond of them-- mainly due to the aforementioned Eldar waifu.

[[File:Slaaneshi Forces.JPG|thumb|right|500px|Slaaneshi forces in their realm.]]

Slaanesh units are:
* '''[[Daemonettes]]''', hideous crab-clawed hermaphrodites or seductive scythe-clawed elf-girls depending on which fluff you choose to believe, fa/tg/uys love Daemonettes and spend much time eagerly awaiting the drawfags to provide them with moar heresy. Some fluff seems to suggest that they're hot elf girls until they decide it's time to rip your face off, at which point they become something more akin to the BDSM glam-rock black-eyed lobster women seen in the current models. Moreover, they're supposedly attractive to the beholder (though these are often xenophobic assholes and thus only consider themselves beautiful) - this means that it is very likely that their appearance is entirely subject to the individual desires of whomever is perceiving them. This is represented by their hermaphroditic/androgynous appearance, supposedly rendering them attractive regardless of preference or sexuality. Their monstrous nature is a juxtaposition of slender sensuality and horrible, flesh-tearing daemonic claws. Like many Daemons, their appearance is supposed to be highly varied, which is never represented in the models unless you combine all the old and new, modify heavily, and use [[Raging Heroes|proxies]] randomly. Daemonettes are created by Slaanesh's waking thoughts, popping into existence as she contemplates trolling Khorne, destroying a civilization from within, or getting off.
* '''[[Seekers of Slaanesh]]''', Daemonettes mounted upon [[Steeds of Slaanesh]] which are the mix of an aardvark and a raptor [[dinosaur]]; fast and lots of attacks for not much points, prone to dying in a hail of arrow/bolter fire.
* '''[[Fiends of Slaanesh]]''', large creatures that look like a bizarre cross between an aardvark and a scorpion with rows of breasts, these are created when Slaanesh dreams (because apparently Chaos Gods sleep). They're basically if a Daemonette and a Seeker had a child.
* '''[[Seeker Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', hard hitting unit/squad-wipe models, this is whom you call for when you need that pesky [[tarpit]] removed. Right now. From other end of the board. Be cautious though, these things need protection like grimoire and preferrably invisibility,or at least [[Distraction Carnifex|target mitigation]] to live long enough to do their job since they are big targets with juicy 10 armor all round. Also never ever position yourself so that the enemy could have even remote chance of charging these things: even squad of retarded [[Tau|fire warriors]] or some [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Spearmen]] can take these chariots down in melee if they get the charge. These things live and die by the hammer of wrath attacks, use them accordingly. Also comes in the "Exalted Seeker Chariot" variant, which is literally just a larger Seeker Chariot crewed by higher ranked Daemonettes.
* '''[[Hellflayer Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', what happens when you combine enough Chariots to make Daemonettes literally [[/d/|dripping]] with excitement at being in battle.
* '''[[Keepers Of Secrets]]''', Slaanesh's Greater Daemons, like a Daemonette on steroids, ecstasy and Viagra. Created intentionally from Slaanesh's own darkest thoughts and desires, rather than the Daemonettes/Seekers/Fiends which are created passively, each is radically different (even though there's only been three different models, one of which is long out of production). Geniuses capable of turning entire armies to their side, or destroying civilizations. The default leaders of almost any Slaaneshi army, unless lead by a...
* '''[[Daemon Prince]]''', a human (with [[Dechala|one Elf]] as the exception) so devout to Slaanesh that they managed to become a Daemon. In Fantasy this is usually, but not always, a Warriors of Chaos Champion who made the perilous journey of getting not to little or too much attention while in her service.

=== 40k ===
* '''[[Chaos Space Marines]]''', the traitor marines of the [[Emperor's Children|third legion]] worship Slaanesh exclusively, as do warbands such as the Angels of Ecstasy and the Flawless Host. They also make up a large chunk of the Black Legion, as the Children of Torment.
** '''[[Noise Marines]]''', the specialist traitors dedicated to Slaanesh, akin to Khorne's [[Berserkers]], Nurgle's [[Plague Marines]] or Tzeentch's [[Thousand Sons]]. Aural-focused traitors who specialise in using [[Sonic Weaponry]] because the cacophony is the only thing that can register on their jaded senses anymore. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berghain Can be found IRL also.]

=== Fantasy ===
* '''[[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Druchii]]''', the Warhamer Fantasy evil Elves who are the highest ranking worshipers of Slaanesh, who they call Shornaal, in the [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Cult Of Pleasure]]. In most of the games history (4 editions out of 8 total, the first two having virtually no story whatsoever), Dark Elves had their origin in their Queen [[Morathi]] being the high priestess of Slaanesh, who corrupted her [[Malekith|son]] and about half the Elf race. While most Dark Elves torture and kill in the name of [[Khaine]], Morathi lead a cult of Chaos Elves and regularly allied with other Slaaneshi factions (other than Beastmen, because Morathi kept [[Harpies|her own]] as pets and shits on all others like a good Chaos character should). In later editions, Chaos Elves were retconned away into worshipers of [[Atharti]], [[Hekarti]], and [[Ereth Khial]], three Elven Slaanesh-expy gods, in order to redo the Dark Elf faction as evil Elves who ally with other Elves in the interest of mutual survival instead of evil Elves who just want to watch the world burn while a slave who's skin has been torn off gives them oral. This choice split many fans, some asking why Elves should worship Slaanesh when they have Khaine instead of Khorne, others asking why they worship Khaine when Khorne is better.
* '''[[Warriors of Chaos]]''', not-Vikings/Mongols who live in the desolate north of Warhammer Fantasy and fight against each other when not raiding the rest of the world. The closer to the [[Warp Gates]] they are, the more like living Daemons while the furthest south are generally only concerned with survival and not offending gods.
* '''[[Beastmen]]''', the rapist omnivorous (in every sense of the word) animal-mutants that infest the world. Beastmen serve all of Chaos, some serve specific gods more than others but few serve one entirely. Live to literally and canonically shit on civilization and order. Ironically treated like shit by all of the rest of Chaos. Slaanesh, in keeping with the trend, allows his followers to fuck their women and drink their wine.
*'''Hellstriders''': Warriors of Chaos mounted upon Seeker mounts. Unlike most Chaos Gods, who give daemonic mounts as rewards for their best followers, Slaanesh (or Keepers of Secrets in Age of Sigmar given Slaanesh's imprisonment) gives out Seekers to the weak-willed and lazy looking for a quick path to power. Those who fall for this trap find that although they gain power, they also gain a crippling addiction to the souls of their enemies that quickly results in them losing all pleasure outside of killing. If a Hellstrider is unable to kill, they will quite literally die from withdrawal.

=== Age of Sigmar ===
* '''Lord of Pain''': BDSM-freak Chaos Lords who are obsessed with giving and receiving pain. Not only does their high pain tolerance make them almost Nurgle-level tough, but they can even reflect their pain onto their enemies.
* '''Shardspeaker of Slaanesh''': Slaaneshi sorcerers who use their magical mirrors to force their enemies to submit to their most shameful hidden desires.
* '''Myrmidesh Painbringers''': The warrior elite of the Hedonites. Myrmidesh Painbringers are unusually chosen for their ability to withstand temptation, denying all carnal pleasures for a single minded focus on perfecting combat and ensuring their enemies die in the most beautiful and painful ways possible.
* '''Symbaresh Twinsouls''': Trying to be a disciplined aescetic warrior while being surrounded by perverted freaks is hard. So it isn't suprising that some Myrmidesh find themselves unable to keep up their eternal No-Nut November and fall off the deep end, allowing their souls to be possessed by daemons.

==Potential semi-retcon of Slaanesh in 40k==
With the release of "Rise of the Ynnari: Wild Rider" we now have daemons of Slaanesh making an appearance during the [[War in Heaven]]? Now this could be just a case of timey wimey Warp shenanigans but it could also be an indication of something else! What if Slaanesh's "birth" was actually more akin to a rebirth of something far older; the original sin if you were.

It is known that even before the Fall agents of Slaanesh were already at large in the galaxy and actively seeking to bring it into being. If Slaanesh did indeed have a presence all the way back in the War in Heaven then perhaps it has always been there, seeking a way to return, as opposed to beginning to gestate within the Empyrean during the conflict itself.

Slaanesh isn't all about sex, [[Drug|drugs]] and more sex, but actually fits all of the seven deadly sins rather well: [[/d/|Lust]], [[RAGE|Wrath]], [[Blood Ravens|Greed]], [[Perturabo|Envy]], [[Giles|Gluttony]], [[Lazy Marines|Sloth]] and [[Cato Sicarius|Pride]] all fall under Slaanesh's domain; each of which play key roles in the other God's spheres of influence also. Of course these are taken to their extremes, as is Slaanesh's trade mark, but even the other Chaos Gods are extremes in their own way, and though they are all placed above the Dark Prince in terms of power they all may "fear" the influence that Slaanesh has the potential to hold over them and are very wary that the Dark Prince may eventually eclipse them all in power.

The War in Heaven is essentially the event(s) that created "Hell" in 40k as many races with a presence in the warp fought and died in the conflict, so it makes sense that there must have been an "original Satan"-like figure as well. Of course, this could be looking too much into this and talking out of our collective arse, but what with Slaanesh in [[Age of Sigmar]] no longer being counted amongst the Four, it opens up a lot of possibilities for when the Dark Prince does eventually return.

==The Wandering Knight in the Palace of Slaanesh==

(AKA [[Kaldor Draigo]] becomes a sleeper agent. Probably. Other things are possible, but this would slap down the Mary Sue, so really, why argue?)

While the other Chaos Gods rarely welcome intruders to their lands within the immaterium, Slaanesh loves to tempt visitors to his unnatural domain, and those that dare enter the Lord of Pleasure's territory risk becoming trapped in its warped delights for eternity.

Slaanesh's realm is divided into six domains, arranged in concentric rings about the Palace of Pleasure. Each of these is a celebration of Slaanesh's desires, and while they might be mistaken for paradises, nothing in the lands of the Dark Prince is as it seems. An intruder can only reach the Palace of Pleasure, in the very heart of Slaanesh's territory, by passing through all six of the circles-- an act of will beyond most souls, both mortal and demonic. One amongst the mortal visitors to his realm still looms large in the memory of Slaanesh, however-- a wandering knight of the Adeptus Astartes whose resolve was as strong as silvered adamantium.

The first circle the knight pushed through was richly appointed beyond the dreams of kings. Mountains of stacked gold reached towards rainbow mosaics of gemstones in the marble vaults high above; glittering ingots and diamonds beyond count littered the ground. The knight marched past many a starving wretch attempting to count the innumerable gold coins, their sallow faces twisted with mounting greed until their piles toppled, and, weeping, they had to start over again. At every corner of the crossroads stood gilded statues, some of beautiful Slaanesh, others of Daemons and mortals trapped in blissful ecstasy. The trails in the diamond dust underfoot betrayed the fact that the statues were once flesh and blood. The knight had left notions of material wealth long behind, and he strode on without touching a single coin.

Crunching his way across a beach of golden teeth, the knight came to the shores of a vast lake of dark wine. The lake was dotted with pallid islands formed from the backs of giants, each linked by criss-crossing bridges. The backward hands of each giant held up a table that groaned under the weight of a lavish feast. There, he saw mortal men gorging themselves on the banquet, wide-eyed and desperate in their hunger as others frantically tried to gulp down the lake itself. The bloated and the obese moaned in pain as they crammed ever more food into their wine-stained mouths. The knight pressed on, distaste twisting his features as he passed the grisly remains of those who had consumed so much that they had physically burst apart.

The wanderer made his way through fields of golden light and soft hay, where lissome maidens and beautiful youths frolicked near-naked in the hallucinogenic musk of the lithe beasts that cavorted with them. The faces and fertile forms of the dancers were impossibly sensual, moulded to the perfect desire of the heart. The knight held his breath and closed his eyes, for though mortal pleasures were forbidden to his order, part of him was still a man. The crooning nymphs gathered around the knight, stroking his silvered armour and whispering of the sweet carnal pleasures they would give him, but he yielded not. The severed limbs and heads that lay underfoot spoke of the truth behind the honeyed lies. Eyes shut, he cut down the daemonette seductresses around him one after another, letting revulsion guide his shining blade.

After fighting his way through the feminine contours of the foothills ahead, the knight emerged onto a balcony where he was greeted by roars of adulation and approval. An army of Space Marines so vast its number was beyond counting awaited before him on an endless plain, listening in fevered anticipation of his commands for conquest. Planetary governors nodded in obsequious anticipation, and the High Lords of Terra smiled up at him from smaller balconies of their own, motioning him to speak. The knight recognised one of the rulers from his own mortal life, and stood before him, looking deep into the Philosopher-King's eyes. Behind the mask of power and self-assurance, he saw eternal, nagging paranoia, gnawing suspicion and hidden doubts that were acid to the soul. The knight shook his head sadly and walked away.

Wearied by his ordeals, the wanderer strode on through a mesmerising woodland paradise, its maze of pathways thick with flowers and heavy with thorns. The gentle, fragrant breeze whispered to the knight of past glories, reminding him of the executions he had performed in the Emperor's name. Mirrored pools reflected the knight as a shining saint, his face serene but his sword bloodied as he artfully carved apart rank after rank of red-skinned Daemons. The warrior turned away, troubled. In the distance, he could make out tortured figures staring intently into mirror pools of their own, each held immobile by the undergrowth as whispering thorns insinuated themselves into their flesh. The wanderer turned his mind to the humility of the cell he once called home. As he did so, the path through the maze writhed and straightened out before him. So the knight trudged on.

An endless beach stretched away from the knight, and heavenly choirs sung soothing lullabies as the perfumed sea lapped at the fortress walls of his mind. The wanderer's bones cried out for rest, even if only for a moment. The warmth of the golden sun above calmed his soul, and the tide began to erode his will. His tired eyes could barely stay open, but his vision was still clear enough to see the horrible truth: the bone-white sand was made from the remains of those who had rested here and fallen into a coma of blissful indolence. His resolve hardened, the knight strode on toward the shimmering palace in the distance.

It was there, beneath the elegant spires, that the wanderer came before almighty Slaanesh. Statuesque and divinely glamorous, the deity visited him in the form of a young man possessed of an androgynous beauty, clean-limbed and fresh with the vigour of youth. The knight unsheathed his rune-etched sword and made to strike him down. To his horror, he found that he could not, for the god-prince was disarming in his innocence and utterly beguiling in his manner.

Even the purest flame can be extinguished by the tide. In that single moment of doubt, the wanderer was lost. He knelt, bowing his head at last, and a single touch of the being's glowing sceptre on each shoulder sealed his fate for eternity.

== Facts ==
[[File:Nope.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Alright, who's next for "Purifying"?]]
* [[Ynnead]] is secretly Slaanesh
*[[Sanguinius]] is jealous of Slaanesh because they are the only one more fabulous than hi-{{BLAM}}
* Slaanesh wants to fuck the Emperor, but every time they try, the Big E psychically bitch-slaps them, destroys all their sex toys and sex slaves and breaks their hands so they can't fap for a while.
* Slaanesh knows that you can't spell happiness without penis.
** Slaanesh is dyslexic.
***Slaanesh also knows that you can't spell dyslexic without sex
* The title of Slaanesh's greatest mortal champion is owned by Shädman''(ayyyyy)''
* Slaanesh is bitching over the fact how their only representation in the DoW series was the [[Emperor's Children]] paint scheme. And they aren't even Slaaneshi like, they're just a generic chaos army. Although, they did grant favor to Eliphas for smashing a ton of soulstones. (And their colours aren't even correct.)
**However, concerning stated above, the developers have added noise marines for Dawn of war 2: Retribution. This has made Slaanesh quite happy. However, he/she/it is still <s>pissed off of not getting enough representation</s> OFFENDED BY THIS SILENCE, considering Nurgle gets Plague Champion hero, the Plague Marine Tier 2 unit, and the Epic Great Unclean One daemon, Khorne then gets the Khornate Chaos Lord, Bloodletters and Bloodcrushers, while Tzeentch gets the Sorcerer hero, has the most effective upgrade for the basic CSM squad (Warpfire bolts make everything in front of them shit brix and was flat out broken in earlier versions of its introduction), and all of the Anti-armor upgrades, while they only get a single unit that frankly eclipsed by either Plague Marines or generic Havocs with an autocannon.
* Charlie Sheen is their first true Daemon Prince (though he was recently diagnosed with HIV which resulted from his sexcapades, so looks like he could swing towards [[Nurgle]]. But just like [[Fulgrim]] his body probably needs to be destroyed first before he can ascend). It was nearly Malcolm Mcdowell, on account of Mcdowell's filmography including two of Slaanesh's favorite films (see below) and Mcdowell's hedonistic younger years; before Charlie had even reached puberty, Mcdowell was already far into sex and drugs both in his films and real-life. But as he got older, Mcdowell turned away from hedonism and cleaned himself up. Other contenders include Gene Simmons and Tila Tequila.
* Slaanesh gets beaten up/off by all of the other Chaos Gods on a fairly regular basis, and gets off on it.
* If it exists, [[PROMOTIONS|Slaanesh faps/shlicks/shlaps to it]].
* Tzeentch likes to trick Slaanesh into fighting Khorne to get his daily dose of lulz. Slaanesh always loses these fights pretty badly; and each time, Slaanesh takes it pretty hard. [[C.S.Goto|And this pleases them.]]
* Slaanesh is secretly depressed that have no friends. Khorne is a dick, and Tzeentch is the biggest dick there is. Nurgle is nice, but Slaanesh can't get over the fact that he cucked them. ("Can't get over it" in both a [[PROMOTIONS|positive]] and [[RAGE|negative]] sense.)
** Also, Nurgle has ''all'' the STDs, which would make him Slaanesh's natural enemy out in the wild. Isha's immunity to all diseases is better than any protection, which is a pretty substantial reason why Slaanesh liked her.
* Slaanesh gets bullied by all the other Chaos Gods constantly because none of them like him/her/it. This does not upset the balance, though, because Slaanesh likes BDSM where they being bullied and tortured by the other Chaos Gods.
* Slaanesh is Tzeentch's second favorite victim for his hijinks, because it's oh so easy to string them along with offers of porn, whores, BDSM and/or drugs.
* Khorne [[Rip and Tear|regularly tears off Slaanesh's arms]] and beats them over the head with them (Again, this inadvertently makes Slaanesh orgasm).
* Slaanesh was doping when they killed the Eldar Gods, they couldn't really beat them all without using performance enhancing drugs. (at least that what Khaine, a god of war and destruction, keeps insisting when ever someone asks him why he got both figuratively and possibly literally raped by a god(ess) of sex drugs and rock'n'roll)
** Slaanesh is always on drugs (Except psychiatric medication, they kill sex drive down to the very biology)
* Slaanesh attempted to fight the Nightbringer in a desperate attempt to win back some street cred, they got their left boob cut off for their trouble. It hurt so bad/good that it retroactively cut off the left boobs of all of Slaanesh's greater daemons and that's why they all only have one boob (or six). Given the new backstory and their time of birth, this means that Slaanesh lost against a Necron Pokémon.
* Slaanesh is a great patron of the arts. Their favourite films include:
** Hellraiser: Slaanesh's number one film. In fact, they took a lot of inspiration on many of the movie's aspects... <strike>That is, of course, a lie. They actually ripped off Hellraiser.</strike> Hellraiser ripped them off. Slaanesh had a cameo appearance in the sequel dressed as a lozenge.
** A Serbian Film: Slaanesh's second favorite movie. They already started putting NEWBORN PORN into her/his daily schedule.
** Pink Flamingos: Slaanesh's third favourite movie, which is actually a film adaptation of Slaanesh's journal. Slaanesh especially enjoyed the depictions of their hobbies (including bestiality, scat fetishes and vore), that the movie quotes them directly (see Divine's quote above).
** A Clockwork Orange: One of Slaanesh's favorite movies; not so much the book it was adapted from as it was less about sex and more a commentary on the nature of morality. (Although Slaanesh faps/shlicks to commentaries on morality too.) They like to jerk-off at many of the movie's aspects, but more notably Malcolm Mcdowell's sexy face. They also find the death of one of the characters totally hilarious, due to the fact that said character was killed by a giant rocking ceramic phallus straight to the face. '''BLOWJOB OF DEATH !!! LULZ !!!''' Unbelievable and improbable? Well here's evidence to prove it: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbRSag-L-GQ Giant rocking ceramic phallus attack !!!].
** The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Mostly because of Tim Curry (who is actually Slaanesh).
** Legend: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3J91bPrW9A Also because of Tim Curry, who practically plays a daemon prince of Slaanesh].
** Caligula: The movie written by Gore Vidal for copious amounts of sex, incest and Malcolm Mcdowell as the title character. Slaanesh's favorite scenes are when Caligula engages in an incestuous threesome with his sister and his fiance, and the giant orgies on stage (don't watch the latter if you have a weak stomach - there's a real snake in one scene and [[FATAL|you don't want to know what the woman does with it]]).
** Eyes Wide Shut. Slaanesh has heard the film described as "Just Artsy Porn", but doesn't get the criticism. It's Art and it's Porn. What's not to love?
** Event Horizon: A documentary of how he/she/it is directly responsible for fucking up humanity's first venture into the Warp.
** High Rise: Some say it holds the essence of the one time Slaaneshi and Khaine got jiggy with it.
** Salo or 120 days of Sodom: Slaanesh liked it better when they thought it was real and not just special effects.
** The Stuff: A movie about the time some railroad workers found lakes of Slaanesh's jizz at a quarry and marketed it as dessert food due to its properties, leading to numerous shenanigans and giving Slaanesh much lulz that they never learned where it came from.
* Slaanesh enjoys the Song of Ice and Fire books due to the copious amounts of incest and midget sex and the TV adaption Game of Thrones because they added sex scenes and casting several porn stars on top of this.
* Slaanesh's favorite band is GWAR, because everything with them is sex, drugs, and rock and roll in excess, even covering their audience in jizz, blood, random chemicals, and mixtures of all three, and inciting massive blood orgies constantly.
* Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams is also suspected to be one of the early influences of Slaanesh in human music culture, the singer suspected to be one of his/her/its avatars.
* Slaanesh gets ALL the pussy, as well as all the dick, cloca, ovipositor, stamen, pistil, and pilus.
* Slaanesh tried to seduce all of the remaining C'tan at once. Slaanesh ended up getting the pleasure sensors in its brain lobotomized. S/he got off on this.
* Slaanesh found Captain Flashheart so magnificent in Blackadder that they created a daemon prince in his image. Woof woof!
* Despite psychic powers supposedly being Tzeentch's specialty, Slaanesh's tend to be the really [[cheese|cheesy]] ones. 3rd edition had a minor power called Siren, which forbids the caster from being shot at in the opponent's shooting phase (it's just as broken as it sounds). 4th edition has Lash of Submission, which the Chaos Marine tactics cover the usage of (in a nutshell, GW admitted they didn't realize how good it turned out to be and it was the most used on daemon princes even though the +1I from the required MoS wasn't very useful). And what about 6th edition? While Tzeentchian sorcerers focus on pwning the shit our of enemy with (mediocre) mind bullets and warp-beams, Slaaneshi ones pack a whole lot of cheesy buffs and debuffs, which makes them so much better. Similar deal in Fantasy, where Slaanesh, some of the time, offers a better selection of magic than Tzeentch.
*Slaanesh is the only entity in existence who listens to the My Dad Wrote A Porno podcast purely for erotic purposes. He/she/it cannot understand for the life of him/her/it why no one else finds cervix-grabbing sexy.
** Still, ]they fap/shlick/???-PROFIT at this.
*Mentioning the names of Vint Cerf and Bob Kahn gives Slaanesh a massive boner/lady-boner. Though Slaanesh didn't have a hand in inventing the internet, three guesses why Slaanesh loves the internet, and the first two don't count. Mentioning Hugh Hefner also has a similar effect.
* As a patron of the arts, Slaanesh has many favorite authors, so can't pick one. Having said that, Marquis de Sade is a strong contender.
* Considering that Slaanesh is about excess, there might be several other types of Marines besides Noise Marines we don't know about:
** Smell Marines, who use gasses to do whatever they wish through peoples noses, whether it be death, insanity, paralysis, suggestibility, 'seeing colors', and so on, always permanent brain damage. This is a way to get Nurgle followers to convert.
**Sight Marines, whose weapons create wondrously intricate bloom and color effects of equally detailed and aesthetically (only to a branch of masochists masochists can't stand) pleasing. This is a way to get Khorne followers to convert.
** Touch Marines, who know the nervous system better than a Bene Gesserit, able to bring the mightiest warriors down with the right jab in the right spot, consumed with uncontrollable orgasms.
**Taste Marines, think about the spiciest thing you've ever eaten, now imagine that a million times stronger, we are talking Exterminatus level of scovilles here, literally melt your god damn tongue off heat. It's like that only worse. They would use super pepper spray that can literally eat through armor.
*Also, a former Tzeentch follower gone Slaaneshi would be incredibly dangerous: Tzeentch followers understand indeterminism (from a very distorted, cynical perspective) and also see knowledge as power per circumstance to win where force, charisma and economics cannot. A devout Slaaneshi seeks to experience everything. Thus a former Tzeentchian, already well read on enough to convince themselves they experienced it, or well read enough to steal peoples experiences, who became a hedonist addict as well would be left with one desire: to be omnipotent and thus be able to go beyond the limits of mortal imaginings in pursuit of understanding and experience for the sake of understanding and experience.
*Slaanesh tried to get in Khorne's head by seeking to understand the appeal of skulls. Instead Slaanesh got bored and invented the idea of skullfucking. <br/> '''{{Blam|DAMN IT SLAANESH WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SKULL THRONE THIS IS DISGUSTING!! IT'S EVERYWHERE!! IT'S OOZING OUT OF EVERY EYE SOCKET!!! I'M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO SIT ON THAT AGAIN AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!}}'''
**Khorne secretly loves it when Slaanesh does this, because now he has even more of an excuse to go out and collect enough skulls to replace it.
*[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Slaanesh Patrols will skull fuck your family.]]
* [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|If you masturbate with barbed wire, a daemon of slaanesh will be summoned, and you will be exterminatus-ed]]
* Slaanesh secretly wants Khorne. S/he's upset that the 'Special K' hates her/him/it.
**However, if Slaanesh ever did create a copy of him/her/their/itself, then the two would immediately try to murderfuck each other, in a kinky simulacrum of Highlander. This would apply to all of the main ruinous powers, <s>apart from</s> including Nurgle, <s>who would simply hug his</s> whose female double <s>and then get to work with said double on a particularly virulent strain of super aids/crotch rot.</s> would get jealous of Isha and conspire with Slaanesh to get rid of that home-wrecking skank.
*Slaanesh is the patron <s>god</s> <s>goddess</s> deity of bonobos (look them up).
*Slaanesh's ''only'' criticism of the Cats movie is that there are no visible genitals.
* Slaanesh #fuckedPalpatine.

== Gallery ==
{{heresy}}
{{promotions}}
{{/d/}}
<gallery>
Image:Slaaneshfaggot.jpeg|A real-life worshipper of Slaanesh.
Image:Slaaneshi.JPG|Slaanesh followers DO COCAINE!!!!!!!!
Image:Daemonette commisssar.JPG|That's a real [[commissar]], just look at the [[hat]].
Image:Daemonette02.JPG|DDaemonette
Image:Daemonette01.JPG|It's not furry, you can totally fap to it.

Image:Daemonette.JPG
Image:Slaaneshi2.JPG|Why it's good to be Slaanesh follower.
Image:Daemonxmas copy.jpg|Slaanesh can be festive as well.
Image:Lurvemudkipz.JPG|Evidence that it is possible that some [[pokémon]] are susceptible to Chaotic influence.

Image:Slaaneshi mudkips.JPG|Oh god. ;_;
Image:Slaanesh trainer.jpg|There is no excuse or explanation for this.
Image:Slaaneshijack copy.jpg|This image can be used to improve a bad thread.
Image:Irresistible.jpg|Simply Irresistible

Image:Dranon5.jpg|Mr Culexus' interpretation of Slaanesh. Notice the massive bulge in the crotch that's bigger than it's boobs.
Image:Not_too_abysmal_by_Mr_Culexus.jpg|Love can bloom in the galaxy of Transylvania
Image:1271157389405.jpg|What a Slaaneshi raptor would look like by non-GW canon.
Image:daemonette_minerva.png|Who else did you think furries worshiped?

Image:Slaanesh_LAWL.jpg|LAWL
Image:Trapmarine.jpg|Slaanesh Chaos Marines come with a little "extra"...
Image:Trapmarine_BW.jpg|... which may not be so "little".
Image:Daemonette_with_seeker_mount.jpg|She "rides" it... if you know what I mean... no seriously, zoom in if you don't believe me. Although for your sake you really should take my word for it.

Image:643214 - Daemonette Eldar Warhammer 40k howling banshee warhammer yuliapw.jpg|The more common and usual fate of Eldar.
Image:Slaanesh cosplay 1 by zk87-d2zo47q.jpg|Now 262.71% more real!
Image:Slaanesh Time.jpg|You might be mixing up love and lust.
Image:Slaanesh_miniature_closeup.jpg|Gimme some sugar

Image:Slaanesh+hr giger.jpg|H. R. Geiger is pleased
Image:Slaanesh by zk87-d2z4bpv.jpg|Lashes of Torment!
Image:Slaanesh-153102-SweetAngel.jpg|She Who Thirsts indeed
Image:Khorne-and-Slaanesh.jpg|Khorne is sooo tsundere...
Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated]

Image:Dark_Prince_of_Pleasure_Slaanesh_wfrp.jpg|From the old [[WFRP]] days
Image:MoeSlaanesh.png|How can anyone not want to serve something so utterly <s>adorable</s> heretical?
Image:1419021850273.jpg|Yes, that is a Santa outfit.
Image:Anons_fall_to_Chaos.png|Anon heralds the Age of Strife.
Image:Champion of Slaanesh RL.png| We have the makings of a daemon prince here!
Image:HereticalUseOfChainswords.gif| When you say "Go Fuck Yourself with a Chainsword," Slaanesh will take it literally.
Image:Cultist-chan24.jpg|Slaanesh has improved cultist chan
Image:Wildslaanesh.png|Slaanesh Demon corrupts children
Image:Slaanesh-sorcerer.jpeg|Slaanesh makes the Cenobites from Hellraiser look good.
</gallery>

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever
Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho!
Don't dream it, be it...
Don't dream it, be it...

==See Also==
*[[Azazel]] - The oldest existing [[Daemon Prince]] of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[Dechala]] - The oldest existing Chaos Champion special character of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[The Masque]] - Slaanesh's former fav fab Daemonette stripper, and current PR rep.
*[[Sigvald]], Slaanesh's favorite not-Caligula/not-Joffrey.
*The [[Emperor's Children]] legion - The largest contingent of sick fucks on this side of the warp. And on that side of the warp.
*[[Fulgrim]] - Primarch of the largest contingent of sick fucks ever.
*[[Fabius Bile|Fabulous Bile]] - What you get by combining a self-obsessed homosexual and Dr. Frankenstein, only this one is played by geriatric [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kane_%28wrestler%29 Glenn Jacobs] instead of young Tim Curry.
*[[Lucius]] - Considered by some as the Sickest of Fucks amongst the living.
*[[Doomrider]] - He does COCAINE!
*[[Miriael Sabathiel]] - The most infamous [[Sisters of Battle|Sister of Battle]] to fall to Slaanesh. Commonly mistaken as the ''only'' Chaos Sister of Battle by people who haven't read [[Ephrael Stern|Daemonifuge]]. Last seen hunting Eldar to give them [[Rape|hugs]].
*[[Codex - Fallen Sororitas]] - An entire homebrew army of Slaaneshi Sisters of Battle.
*[[Daemonette]] - Daemons of Slaanesh. Viewing said content is heretical, in 20 seconds or less after clicking the link, expect a squad of inquisitorial storm troopers to barge-in and blam you to hell.
*[[Reasonable Daemonette]] - Slaanesh's perversion knows no bounds. Hers does, and she respects yours.
*[[Loli D]] - The [[loli]] variant of the Slaaneshi Daemonette. Viewing said content is [[Extra Heresy|extra heretical]]. E-Commissars can and will [[Exterminatus|blam you from your monitor with the utmost prejudice]] if you click on this link.
*[http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Slaanesh's_sacrifice.pdf Slaanesh's Sacrifice] - Some Slaaneshi writefaggotry for the more heretical among you.
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRPIsrxUc_E Rick and Morty's visit to the Realm of Slaanesh]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-gHgcmFB6Q Slaanesh's visit to the Realm of Rick and Morty]
*[https://pastebin.com/5QZMB7nH Excessively Vanilla] - AKA the '''one''' time Slaanesh goes full-on vanilla, including actual marriage, handholding, and under the cover missionary sex for the sole purpose of procreation
{{Template:ChaosGods}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Hedonites of Slaanesh]]

Slaanesh

2020-12-02T07:01:46Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

[[File:Slaanesh_mark.png|center]]
{{awesome}}
{{heresy}}
{{Promotions}}
{{/d/}}
{{sick|The hermaphrodite god/goddess of rape who wants to eat everyone's souls and rape them forever.}}

[[Image:Slaanesh_by_baklaher-d7dvohn.jpg|thumb|500px|right|Slaanesh... tempting you to join a [[rape|party in which you will never forget...]] [[Rule 34|also now in even more NSFW!]]]]

<span style='color:purple;font-size:100%'>'''''PORN FOR THE PORN GOD! SMUT FOR THE SMUT THRONE! RAPE FOR THE RAPE TRAIN!<br> - The Motto that Slaanesh wants YOU to believe in'''''</span>

{{Topquote|Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.|Dr. Frank-N-Furter, Rocky Horror Picture Show}}

{{Topquote|To be loved, feelings must be rationed. To love, the doors of hysteria, fantasy, and madness may be flung open.|Anton LaVey}}

{{Topquote|An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom.|Charles Baudelaire}}

{{Topquote|Everything is good when it is excessive.|Donatien-Alphonse-François, AKA Marquis de Sade}}

{{Topquote|Blood does more than turn me on, it makes me cum. And more than the sight of it, I love the taste of it. The taste of hot, freshly killed blood... Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth are my politics! Filth is my life! Take whatever you like.|Divine, Pink Flamingoes}}

{{Topquote|OO! KINKY!|Anyone who ever set eyes on a daemon of slaanesh}}

==Introduction: The Slaanesh Inquisition==
[[Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|thumb|500px|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated.] Wait, one whip is held in the hand and the other is held in the...]]
Behold '''Slaanesh''', also known as '''Shaarnor (to [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Elves and some humans]]), Shornaal (to [[Warriors of Chaos|humans and some Elves]]), The Dark Prince, the Lord of Excess, Leviathan, Lord of the Labyrinth, Dr. Frank-N-Furter, The Sweet Transvestite, The Lusty Argonian Maid, the Colossal Pervert''', '''the Ultimate Trap''', '''Never Went to Rehab''', '''Slut4Evar''', '''the one who ruins everything,''' '''the new thing,''' and multiple other names. Slaanesh is the [[Chaos God]] of [[/d/|perversion, Hentai]], [[Extra Heresy|shamelessness]], [[Furry|excess]], [[Rebecca Black|the most disgusting Pop Music in the history of ever]], sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Heretical Fa/tg/uys cannot resist the most disgusting [[heresy]] of masturbating furiously to Slaanesh and their [[daemonette]]s.

Slaanesh was 'born' (in this case semi literally, from aspects other chaos gods had.) at the fall of the [[Eldar]], when all their torture, [[rape]], S&M, bondage, decadence, eventually tore the fabric of reality a new one and gave birth to Slaanesh along with the [[Eye of Terror]], killing the majority of their race. Thus, the final chaos god is known as the one that was literally murderfucked into existence. As a result, Slaanesh owns almost every last Eldar soul in the entire galaxy. In the event of an Eldar dying without a spirit stone, he or she becomes Slaanesh's sex toy for all of eternity day and night forever and ever (excluding Exodites, whose soul will automatically go to their planet's world spirit and Harlequins, who are scooped up by the [[Cegorach|great clown]] himself, and the faithful of Ynnead). This is why Eldar are willing to manipulate entire worlds into [[Exterminatus|exterminating]] each other just to save one of their own. The [[Dark Eldar]] take this up to eleven; because they do not use spirit stones nor are they protected like the Harlequins, Slaanesh is constantly sanding their souls down around the edges. In order to circumvent this they resort to huffing the souls of those in agony or of those who have recently died. However this isn't done ''just'' for survival; the Dark Eldar revel in sadism for its own sake too. In the end every Eldar in the galaxy, even the Drukhari and the Harlequins, are inextricably linked to Slaanesh in some way.

Of course, the descriptions above apply primarily to Slaanesh's WH40K history. In WHFB, Slaanesh has no real backstory and sort of just came out of nowhere like the other Chaos gods.

Among other things, Slaanesh is the god of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. Slaanesh is fueled by excess and pleasure, which means gratuitous amounts of anything generally fall under its influence. This actually becomes a big problem for Khorne, the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]] and the other Chaos Gods, whose worshipers have to constantly try not to enjoy themselves too much lest they end up feeding the Warp's whipping bitch. Especially when the Inquisition is all too enthusiastic about whipping heretics.It is for this reason ironically enough that she is hated by every single entity in the warp, Yes even Nurgle. More on that below.

Many horny juveniles who have just found Warhammer seem to be obsessed with Slaanesh being a God(ess) of sexual pleasure. While [[fluff]] claims this is not true, in practical terms Slaanesh is the deity of pleasure, which can be broad. Pleasure can be derived from various sources, as such this can be anything from sex, eating, companionship, and so on and so forth. However, because Chaos is Chaos, Slaanesh is mostly associated with the extremes of pleasure including lechery, gluttony, extreme masochism, extreme sadism, perverse sexual deviance, and so on. These are just some of the pleasures Slaaneshi followers partake in because Slaanesh's credo is to experience everything to the fullest. As a practitioner falls ever deeper into the embrace of their dark god, they are consumed with a need to drive these sensations first to the limit of human experience, and then beyond into madness. This basically means: why settle for one loving wife to have sex with you when you can have a hive world of insatiable concubines to fulfill your every desire? Or why eat one disgustingly expensive luxury meal when you could eat a Paradise world's supply of the stuff? Why just resort to cutting yourself to feel the pleasure of pain when you could be chopping off lumps of your flesh to heighten the sensation of pain? Numerous examples of 40k lore have made it apparent that while those who fall to Slaanesh might start off with a desire to fulfill their rather run-of-the-mill baser instincts, it always spirals into insanity. For example, in the novel ''Shadowsword'', a young nobleman makes a deal with a devilish creature so that he can possess and sleep with his lady love, who is also his first cousin. By the time all is said and done, a grand party to welcome the forces of Chaos to their world turns into a charnel scene where the guests ''imagine'' themselves to be dancing and enjoying fine food and drink, but in reality they are tearing each other apart with their bare hands and engaging in cannibalism; others believe that they are embracing when their bodies and flesh are literally melding together. These are the types of scenes that truly resonate in the Warp, and thus grant Slaanesh power.

One would think that if, as claimed, Slaanesh was the lord of all ''pleasure'' then Slaanesh would be omnipotent because, in the end, biological and psychological fact tells us that every living thing with a fucking Neuron acts in order to feel pleasure and escape pain (the "pleasure principle"). However, here is the most important thing worth emphasizing, just in case you haven't picked it up already: the point of Slaanesh is not to revel in ''any'' pain or pleasure. Rather, the point is to gain power from exposing mortals to the types of experiences that a sane person ''could not'' and ''would not'' ever be able to imagine in the first place. For all but the very strongest and most devout, this pollutes and twists their very souls to such an extent that they remain in thrall to Slaanesh forever. Such horizons of experience and sensation are far, far beyond the predictable inclinations and fetishes of your typical 4chan fa/tg/uy.

Even [[Khorne]], Slaanesh's primary rival, feels pleasure in killing, and Tzeentch feels pleasure in [[Just as Planned]]. That is why 40k lore tends to focus on Slaanesh as a God of the most disgusting pleasures ever, not as a God of all pleasure. Additionally, in the [[fluff]], it does state that most pleasures (like regular love or the desire to eat) that might be covered under the "pleasure principle" are too "weak" to sustain Slaanesh. Considering that it's damn hard for most humans to get more than a piece of stale toast and a dry handjob before collapsing from exhaustion after a grueling 80-hour week working in some hive-world factory for the Emprah, the only way to get enough sex, drugs, and partying in to impress Slaanesh is to be a ruthless, controlling, evil bastard. (''It is worth noting that GW seems to have picked up somewhat on this fact. As of the latest daemon codex it does mention that Slaanesh has a particular way of influencing the other chaos gods and that they are all weary of them given that they draw some strength from the extreme behaviours they promote in their followers and are subject to themselves.'')

Slaanesh is also associated with the arts and creativity, as creativity means pursuing one's own personal desires. Self-indulgence and personal expression are the bedrock of the arts, after all. Those attracted to Slaanesh could theoretically be more than just aristocratic ravers, but also particularly eccentric artists, writers, etc. Slaanesh is Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll in the purest sense of the word. It is not just the depraved orgy after the concert, but the scintillatingly brilliant concert that caused the orgy to begin with. One could assume that, in order to prevent Slaanesh's influence from spreading, the Imperium of Man would censor not just content but style. A radically structured poem, a painting with hints of debased content, even a deviation from traditional chord structures would presumably bring the Inquisition to your doorstep.

If Slaanesh had a voice actor, it would be [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc80tFJpTuo Tim Curry] and/or Tilda Swinton.

==What? Warhammer?==
[[File:Slaanesh Old.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The first depiction of Slaanesh in Warhammer art.]]
In the new [[Age of Sigmar]] setting, Slaanesh has gone missing. Tyrion and Malerion worked together to capture Slaanesh, unknowningly helped along by the machinations of Tzeentch. Thus Slaanesh has been removed from the Pantheon of Chaos and replaced by the [[Horned Rat]]. Derp. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIMg2Xw4_8s While it was thought Slaanesh is being kept in a hidden warehouse while Tyrion works him/her over to make Slaanesh give back Aliathra's soul], this is revealed to be mostly true. [[Games Workshop|due to reasons discussed on GW's page here]].
[[File:AoSBeholdSlaanesh.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Slaanesh imprisoned: Unable to decide which dildo to use first, Slaanesh is effectively neutralized! Ingenious! (Also, to answer the question you never asked, Slaanesh is not circumcised. Seriously, take a close look at where those chains pierce)]]

Yet hope for Slaanesh faction lovers still remains. With Slaanesh missing, his forces have split between those trying to find and free Slaanesh (the refer to themselves as Seekers), those who are trying to claim their former master's position (they are referred to as Pretenders and consists of every Chaos Lord and Keeper of Secrets that wants to claim their former masters position as the new god of depravity) and those who have continued to be allied to Archaon in his wars against the Mortal Realms (who are referred to as Invaders). This last faction is currently the biggest and is the main Slaanesh force fighting Order; it is mostly being led by Slaanesh's greater daemons who lead Slaanesh's demonic and mortal followers but some have actually looked to venerating Archaon as their replacement deity.

With the release of the Daughter of Khaine battletome it's revealed that Slaanesh has been trapped in the void space between Ulgu (Realm of Shadows) and Hysh (Realm of Light) by the collective work of [[Tyrion]] and [[Teclis]], now gods of the Hysh, [[Malekith|Malerion]], god of Shadow, and [[Morathi]]. There the elf gods are slowly taking back the elf souls the Chaos god had devoured after the End Times, reforging them to their liking, while Slaanesh is trapped in a position that will make it impossible for him to escape. That is, unless Morathi cast a spell to get more souls than it was initially planned for her to receive, a spell that would weaken the chains that are keeping Slaanesh trapped, which of course she did. Now Slaanesh is ever so slowly getting further from Hysh and closer to Ulgu, which enabled Slaanesh's followers to learn where he was. The only things standing in their way are the fact that they can't reach Slaanesh's prison, the aelf gods and their forces. Even then, Slaanesh might eventually be able to free itself.

With the announcement of Realm of Chaos: Wrath and Rapture, it appears GW is ready to bring Slaanesh back to the 40k and AoS universes, along with a (daemonic) host of new models. And this did come to pass... Though it isn't as grand as many would have hoped. It has been revealed that the 66 chains holding Slaanesh (real subtle, GW) can be broken by certain depraved or powerful acts, ie, an excess of anger from Khorne, or a Stormhost turning on the people they protect (which did happen and was engineered by Slaanesh taking a leaf from Tzeentch's book). Having broken a handful of the chains Slaanesh cast illusions to prevent the elves from discovering this, and if the majority of chains get shattered Slaanesh will be strong enough to break the rest. If Slaanesh ever did escape, he would immediately try and engulf all of Ulgu and Hysh, securing two whole realms and thereby winning the great game though Khorne would object violently, as would Archaon. However, Archaon still needed Slaanesh and was actively tracking down the trapped god. Archaon eventually succeeded at finding Slaanesh and started working to free him, though Slaanesh's sass vexed Archaon. It would've worked eventually, but Archaon had a vision of the Nighthaunt and Bonereapers taking the Shyish realmgate and attacking the Varanspire. Though Archaon was pissed, since he knew the elf gods would move Slaanesh's prison and tighten security after this, he abandoned Slaanesh and went back to the Allpoints.

But now Slaanesh is a mommy/daddy! During Morathi's ritual for godhood, Slaanesh's spasms caused a stream of saliva that interacted with Morathi's ritual and gained sentience. The entity burst from Slaanesh's prison, and flew through the skies across Ulgu, mutating everything with its presence before crashing to the ground. The Godseekers followed it to the point of impact, and over time thousands of Hedonites gathered. There the entity, known only as The Newborn, took on a form so beautiful and terrible that many who looked upon it died and it spoke to Hedonites, and they may have found a new path to worship Slaanesh.

== Followers ==
[[File:Slaanesh Banners.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Slaaneshi banners.]]
Slaanesh attracts mortal followers from those seeking to become charismatic and popular, but instead corrupts them to become [[Chris-Chan|colossal perverts]]; alternatively, she may attract followers from those who are already [[Ultramarines|colossal perverts]], and corrupt them to become more charismatic and popular. [[Just as planned]].

Alternatively, Slaanesh sometimes finds those in the mortal realm with far more looks than brains to approach and gives them everything they could ever want because she tells them that they simply deserve it, with nothing expected in return...other than them turning into a collossal egotistical hedonist with no sense of responsibility, right and wrong, or empathy as they fuck over creation on whim or for the lulz due to the ultimate entitlement complex possible.

Slaanesh and Khorne actually compete for the same pool of followers more often than you'd think, which is part of his hatred for it. A good rule of thumb is this: if a warrior wants to be the ''best'', gets his thrills from making that perfect shot, that perfect move, [[/v/|that perfect 360 noscope,]] to [[powergamer|hone his or her skills the sharpest they can ever be]], or debasing their foes, they're Slaaneshi...even if they don’t want to be. If the thrill lies in just killing people-- the pure joy of murder-- and the skill is just a way of facilitating that, they're Khornate. Slaaneshi types also get off on the sensory overload rather than actual killing or even pain, like the Emperor's Children who get carved up by Raven Guard and won't fight back because the feeling of lightning claws dicing them up is too damn blissful. [[Troll|They also get off on the reactions they get from others]]-- for example, the loyalist who Lucius tricks into slaughtering his own men. These are things that Khorne can’t stand, because Khorne has standards. Slaanesh takes those standards, throws them out the window, follows them out the window and murderfucks them with its arms pumping wildly.

When it come to more "social" followers, Slaanesh competes with Tzeentch, as followers of both are known for being silver-tongued manipulative dicks with a huge hard-on for power. Here the difference lies in that Slaaneshi followers seek power for their own gain, usually through charismatic speeches and the like, while Tzeenchians often have more altruistic goals or are more interested in the process of gaining power than actually getting it, intentionally raising the challenge to impossible level just to feed their ambitions. Tzeentch followers are quite notable for being dicks, not evil monsters (...usually, also barring daemons). Other than being egotistical trolls they're pretty normal people. The 'huge hard-on' part is also much more [[Heresy|literal]] in Slaanesh's case. However Tzeentch has realized that since personal gain is inevitable when scheming, Slaanesh still wins, so Tzeentch hates them too.

Apart from [[AIDS|the obvious]], Slaanesh and Nurgle rarely have any interaction. There was the matter of the [[Isha|qt Eldar waifu]] Slaanesh wanted to keep for [[/d/|some]] [[rape|after-party]] [[FATAL|entertainment]], but since Nurgle is a fa/tg/uy at heart he couldn't resist claiming her for himself. <s>But they're mostly over that</s> Slaanesh is over it, Nurgle is not. Otherwise, their domains are just too different that they don't overlap all that much. Those who are ambitious and feel they deserve better choose Slaanesh, while those who give up or accept their lot fall into Nurgle's open, sweaty arms. Conflict occurs, but love of the self and love of others aren't as mutually exclusive as the desire to destroy and the desire to create, or a demand for the spotlight against careful orchestration. That being said Nurgle is still not fond of them-- mainly due to the aforementioned Eldar waifu.

[[File:Slaaneshi Forces.JPG|thumb|right|500px|Slaaneshi forces in their realm.]]

Slaanesh units are:
* '''[[Daemonettes]]''', hideous crab-clawed hermaphrodites or seductive scythe-clawed elf-girls depending on which fluff you choose to believe, fa/tg/uys love Daemonettes and spend much time eagerly awaiting the drawfags to provide them with moar heresy. Some fluff seems to suggest that they're hot elf girls until they decide it's time to rip your face off, at which point they become something more akin to the BDSM glam-rock black-eyed lobster women seen in the current models. Moreover, they're supposedly attractive to the beholder (though these are often xenophobic assholes and thus only consider themselves beautiful) - this means that it is very likely that their appearance is entirely subject to the individual desires of whomever is perceiving them. This is represented by their hermaphroditic/androgynous appearance, supposedly rendering them attractive regardless of preference or sexuality. Their monstrous nature is a juxtaposition of slender sensuality and horrible, flesh-tearing daemonic claws. Like many Daemons, their appearance is supposed to be highly varied, which is never represented in the models unless you combine all the old and new, modify heavily, and use [[Raging Heroes|proxies]] randomly. Daemonettes are created by Slaanesh's waking thoughts, popping into existence as she contemplates trolling Khorne, destroying a civilization from within, or getting off.
* '''[[Seekers of Slaanesh]]''', Daemonettes mounted upon [[Steeds of Slaanesh]] which are the mix of an aardvark and a raptor [[dinosaur]]; fast and lots of attacks for not much points, prone to dying in a hail of arrow/bolter fire.
* '''[[Fiends of Slaanesh]]''', large creatures that look like a bizarre cross between an aardvark and a scorpion with rows of breasts, these are created when Slaanesh dreams (because apparently Chaos Gods sleep). They're basically if a Daemonette and a Seeker had a child.
* '''[[Seeker Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', hard hitting unit/squad-wipe models, this is whom you call for when you need that pesky [[tarpit]] removed. Right now. From other end of the board. Be cautious though, these things need protection like grimoire and preferrably invisibility,or at least [[Distraction Carnifex|target mitigation]] to live long enough to do their job since they are big targets with juicy 10 armor all round. Also never ever position yourself so that the enemy could have even remote chance of charging these things: even squad of retarded [[Tau|fire warriors]] or some [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Spearmen]] can take these chariots down in melee if they get the charge. These things live and die by the hammer of wrath attacks, use them accordingly. Also comes in the "Exalted Seeker Chariot" variant, which is literally just a larger Seeker Chariot crewed by higher ranked Daemonettes.
* '''[[Hellflayer Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', what happens when you combine enough Chariots to make Daemonettes literally [[/d/|dripping]] with excitement at being in battle.
* '''[[Keepers Of Secrets]]''', Slaanesh's Greater Daemons, like a Daemonette on steroids, ecstasy and Viagra. Created intentionally from Slaanesh's own darkest thoughts and desires, rather than the Daemonettes/Seekers/Fiends which are created passively, each is radically different (even though there's only been three different models, one of which is long out of production). Geniuses capable of turning entire armies to their side, or destroying civilizations. The default leaders of almost any Slaaneshi army, unless lead by a...
* '''[[Daemon Prince]]''', a human (with [[Dechala|one Elf]] as the exception) so devout to Slaanesh that they managed to become a Daemon. In Fantasy this is usually, but not always, a Warriors of Chaos Champion who made the perilous journey of getting not to little or too much attention while in her service.

=== 40k ===
* '''[[Chaos Space Marines]]''', the traitor marines of the [[Emperor's Children|third legion]] worship Slaanesh exclusively, as do warbands such as the Angels of Ecstasy and the Flawless Host. They also make up a large chunk of the Black Legion, as the Children of Torment.
** '''[[Noise Marines]]''', the specialist traitors dedicated to Slaanesh, akin to Khorne's [[Berserkers]], Nurgle's [[Plague Marines]] or Tzeentch's [[Thousand Sons]]. Aural-focused traitors who specialise in using [[Sonic Weaponry]] because the cacophony is the only thing that can register on their jaded senses anymore. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berghain Can be found IRL also.]

=== Fantasy ===
* '''[[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Druchii]]''', the Warhamer Fantasy evil Elves who are the highest ranking worshipers of Slaanesh, who they call Shornaal, in the [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Cult Of Pleasure]]. In most of the games history (4 editions out of 8 total, the first two having virtually no story whatsoever), Dark Elves had their origin in their Queen [[Morathi]] being the high priestess of Slaanesh, who corrupted her [[Malekith|son]] and about half the Elf race. While most Dark Elves torture and kill in the name of [[Khaine]], Morathi lead a cult of Chaos Elves and regularly allied with other Slaaneshi factions (other than Beastmen, because Morathi kept [[Harpies|her own]] as pets and shits on all others like a good Chaos character should). In later editions, Chaos Elves were retconned away into worshipers of [[Atharti]], [[Hekarti]], and [[Ereth Khial]], three Elven Slaanesh-expy gods, in order to redo the Dark Elf faction as evil Elves who ally with other Elves in the interest of mutual survival instead of evil Elves who just want to watch the world burn while a slave who's skin has been torn off gives them oral. This choice split many fans, some asking why Elves should worship Slaanesh when they have Khaine instead of Khorne, others asking why they worship Khaine when Khorne is better.
* '''[[Warriors of Chaos]]''', not-Vikings/Mongols who live in the desolate north of Warhammer Fantasy and fight against each other when not raiding the rest of the world. The closer to the [[Warp Gates]] they are, the more like living Daemons while the furthest south are generally only concerned with survival and not offending gods.
* '''[[Beastmen]]''', the rapist omnivorous (in every sense of the word) animal-mutants that infest the world. Beastmen serve all of Chaos, some serve specific gods more than others but few serve one entirely. Live to literally and canonically shit on civilization and order. Ironically treated like shit by all of the rest of Chaos. Slaanesh, in keeping with the trend, allows his followers to fuck their women and drink their wine.
*'''Hellstriders''': Warriors of Chaos mounted upon Seeker mounts. Unlike most Chaos Gods, who give daemonic mounts as rewards for their best followers, Slaanesh (or Keepers of Secrets in Age of Sigmar given Slaanesh's imprisonment) gives out Seekers to the weak-willed and lazy looking for a quick path to power. Those who fall for this trap find that although they gain power, they also gain a crippling addiction to the souls of their enemies that quickly results in them losing all pleasure outside of killing.

=== Age of Sigmar ===
* '''Lord of Pain''': BDSM-freak Chaos Lords who are obsessed with giving and receiving pain. Not only does their high pain tolerance make them almost Nurgle-level tough, but they can even reflect their pain onto their enemies.
* '''Myrmidesh Painbringers''': The warrior elite of the Hedonites. Myrmidesh Painbringers are unusually chosen for their ability to withstand temptation, denying all carnal pleasures for a single minded focus on perfecting combat and ensuring their enemies die in the most beautiful and painful ways possible.
* '''Symbaresh Twinsouls''': Trying to be a disciplined aescetic warrior while being surrounded by perverted freaks is hard. Some Myrmidesh find themselves unable to keep up their eternal No-Nut November and fall off the deep end, allowing their souls to be possessed by daemons.

==Potential semi-retcon of Slaanesh in 40k==
With the release of "Rise of the Ynnari: Wild Rider" we now have daemons of Slaanesh making an appearance during the [[War in Heaven]]? Now this could be just a case of timey wimey Warp shenanigans but it could also be an indication of something else! What if Slaanesh's "birth" was actually more akin to a rebirth of something far older; the original sin if you were.

It is known that even before the Fall agents of Slaanesh were already at large in the galaxy and actively seeking to bring it into being. If Slaanesh did indeed have a presence all the way back in the War in Heaven then perhaps it has always been there, seeking a way to return, as opposed to beginning to gestate within the Empyrean during the conflict itself.

Slaanesh isn't all about sex, [[Drug|drugs]] and more sex, but actually fits all of the seven deadly sins rather well: [[/d/|Lust]], [[RAGE|Wrath]], [[Blood Ravens|Greed]], [[Perturabo|Envy]], [[Giles|Gluttony]], [[Lazy Marines|Sloth]] and [[Cato Sicarius|Pride]] all fall under Slaanesh's domain; each of which play key roles in the other God's spheres of influence also. Of course these are taken to their extremes, as is Slaanesh's trade mark, but even the other Chaos Gods are extremes in their own way, and though they are all placed above the Dark Prince in terms of power they all may "fear" the influence that Slaanesh has the potential to hold over them and are very wary that the Dark Prince may eventually eclipse them all in power.

The War in Heaven is essentially the event(s) that created "Hell" in 40k as many races with a presence in the warp fought and died in the conflict, so it makes sense that there must have been an "original Satan"-like figure as well. Of course, this could be looking too much into this and talking out of our collective arse, but what with Slaanesh in [[Age of Sigmar]] no longer being counted amongst the Four, it opens up a lot of possibilities for when the Dark Prince does eventually return.

==The Wandering Knight in the Palace of Slaanesh==

(AKA [[Kaldor Draigo]] becomes a sleeper agent. Probably. Other things are possible, but this would slap down the Mary Sue, so really, why argue?)

While the other Chaos Gods rarely welcome intruders to their lands within the immaterium, Slaanesh loves to tempt visitors to his unnatural domain, and those that dare enter the Lord of Pleasure's territory risk becoming trapped in its warped delights for eternity.

Slaanesh's realm is divided into six domains, arranged in concentric rings about the Palace of Pleasure. Each of these is a celebration of Slaanesh's desires, and while they might be mistaken for paradises, nothing in the lands of the Dark Prince is as it seems. An intruder can only reach the Palace of Pleasure, in the very heart of Slaanesh's territory, by passing through all six of the circles-- an act of will beyond most souls, both mortal and demonic. One amongst the mortal visitors to his realm still looms large in the memory of Slaanesh, however-- a wandering knight of the Adeptus Astartes whose resolve was as strong as silvered adamantium.

The first circle the knight pushed through was richly appointed beyond the dreams of kings. Mountains of stacked gold reached towards rainbow mosaics of gemstones in the marble vaults high above; glittering ingots and diamonds beyond count littered the ground. The knight marched past many a starving wretch attempting to count the innumerable gold coins, their sallow faces twisted with mounting greed until their piles toppled, and, weeping, they had to start over again. At every corner of the crossroads stood gilded statues, some of beautiful Slaanesh, others of Daemons and mortals trapped in blissful ecstasy. The trails in the diamond dust underfoot betrayed the fact that the statues were once flesh and blood. The knight had left notions of material wealth long behind, and he strode on without touching a single coin.

Crunching his way across a beach of golden teeth, the knight came to the shores of a vast lake of dark wine. The lake was dotted with pallid islands formed from the backs of giants, each linked by criss-crossing bridges. The backward hands of each giant held up a table that groaned under the weight of a lavish feast. There, he saw mortal men gorging themselves on the banquet, wide-eyed and desperate in their hunger as others frantically tried to gulp down the lake itself. The bloated and the obese moaned in pain as they crammed ever more food into their wine-stained mouths. The knight pressed on, distaste twisting his features as he passed the grisly remains of those who had consumed so much that they had physically burst apart.

The wanderer made his way through fields of golden light and soft hay, where lissome maidens and beautiful youths frolicked near-naked in the hallucinogenic musk of the lithe beasts that cavorted with them. The faces and fertile forms of the dancers were impossibly sensual, moulded to the perfect desire of the heart. The knight held his breath and closed his eyes, for though mortal pleasures were forbidden to his order, part of him was still a man. The crooning nymphs gathered around the knight, stroking his silvered armour and whispering of the sweet carnal pleasures they would give him, but he yielded not. The severed limbs and heads that lay underfoot spoke of the truth behind the honeyed lies. Eyes shut, he cut down the daemonette seductresses around him one after another, letting revulsion guide his shining blade.

After fighting his way through the feminine contours of the foothills ahead, the knight emerged onto a balcony where he was greeted by roars of adulation and approval. An army of Space Marines so vast its number was beyond counting awaited before him on an endless plain, listening in fevered anticipation of his commands for conquest. Planetary governors nodded in obsequious anticipation, and the High Lords of Terra smiled up at him from smaller balconies of their own, motioning him to speak. The knight recognised one of the rulers from his own mortal life, and stood before him, looking deep into the Philosopher-King's eyes. Behind the mask of power and self-assurance, he saw eternal, nagging paranoia, gnawing suspicion and hidden doubts that were acid to the soul. The knight shook his head sadly and walked away.

Wearied by his ordeals, the wanderer strode on through a mesmerising woodland paradise, its maze of pathways thick with flowers and heavy with thorns. The gentle, fragrant breeze whispered to the knight of past glories, reminding him of the executions he had performed in the Emperor's name. Mirrored pools reflected the knight as a shining saint, his face serene but his sword bloodied as he artfully carved apart rank after rank of red-skinned Daemons. The warrior turned away, troubled. In the distance, he could make out tortured figures staring intently into mirror pools of their own, each held immobile by the undergrowth as whispering thorns insinuated themselves into their flesh. The wanderer turned his mind to the humility of the cell he once called home. As he did so, the path through the maze writhed and straightened out before him. So the knight trudged on.

An endless beach stretched away from the knight, and heavenly choirs sung soothing lullabies as the perfumed sea lapped at the fortress walls of his mind. The wanderer's bones cried out for rest, even if only for a moment. The warmth of the golden sun above calmed his soul, and the tide began to erode his will. His tired eyes could barely stay open, but his vision was still clear enough to see the horrible truth: the bone-white sand was made from the remains of those who had rested here and fallen into a coma of blissful indolence. His resolve hardened, the knight strode on toward the shimmering palace in the distance.

It was there, beneath the elegant spires, that the wanderer came before almighty Slaanesh. Statuesque and divinely glamorous, the deity visited him in the form of a young man possessed of an androgynous beauty, clean-limbed and fresh with the vigour of youth. The knight unsheathed his rune-etched sword and made to strike him down. To his horror, he found that he could not, for the god-prince was disarming in his innocence and utterly beguiling in his manner.

Even the purest flame can be extinguished by the tide. In that single moment of doubt, the wanderer was lost. He knelt, bowing his head at last, and a single touch of the being's glowing sceptre on each shoulder sealed his fate for eternity.

== Facts ==
[[File:Nope.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Alright, who's next for "Purifying"?]]
* [[Ynnead]] is secretly Slaanesh
*[[Sanguinius]] is jealous of Slaanesh because they are the only one more fabulous than hi-{{BLAM}}
* Slaanesh wants to fuck the Emperor, but every time they try, the Big E psychically bitch-slaps them, destroys all their sex toys and sex slaves and breaks their hands so they can't fap for a while.
* Slaanesh knows that you can't spell happiness without penis.
** Slaanesh is dyslexic.
***Slaanesh also knows that you can't spell dyslexic without sex
* The title of Slaanesh's greatest mortal champion is owned by Shädman''(ayyyyy)''
* Slaanesh is bitching over the fact how their only representation in the DoW series was the [[Emperor's Children]] paint scheme. And they aren't even Slaaneshi like, they're just a generic chaos army. Although, they did grant favor to Eliphas for smashing a ton of soulstones. (And their colours aren't even correct.)
**However, concerning stated above, the developers have added noise marines for Dawn of war 2: Retribution. This has made Slaanesh quite happy. However, he/she/it is still <s>pissed off of not getting enough representation</s> OFFENDED BY THIS SILENCE, considering Nurgle gets Plague Champion hero, the Plague Marine Tier 2 unit, and the Epic Great Unclean One daemon, Khorne then gets the Khornate Chaos Lord, Bloodletters and Bloodcrushers, while Tzeentch gets the Sorcerer hero, has the most effective upgrade for the basic CSM squad (Warpfire bolts make everything in front of them shit brix and was flat out broken in earlier versions of its introduction), and all of the Anti-armor upgrades, while they only get a single unit that frankly eclipsed by either Plague Marines or generic Havocs with an autocannon.
* Charlie Sheen is their first true Daemon Prince (though he was recently diagnosed with HIV which resulted from his sexcapades, so looks like he could swing towards [[Nurgle]]. But just like [[Fulgrim]] his body probably needs to be destroyed first before he can ascend). It was nearly Malcolm Mcdowell, on account of Mcdowell's filmography including two of Slaanesh's favorite films (see below) and Mcdowell's hedonistic younger years; before Charlie had even reached puberty, Mcdowell was already far into sex and drugs both in his films and real-life. But as he got older, Mcdowell turned away from hedonism and cleaned himself up. Other contenders include Gene Simmons and Tila Tequila.
* Slaanesh gets beaten up/off by all of the other Chaos Gods on a fairly regular basis, and gets off on it.
* If it exists, [[PROMOTIONS|Slaanesh faps/shlicks/shlaps to it]].
* Tzeentch likes to trick Slaanesh into fighting Khorne to get his daily dose of lulz. Slaanesh always loses these fights pretty badly; and each time, Slaanesh takes it pretty hard. [[C.S.Goto|And this pleases them.]]
* Slaanesh is secretly depressed that have no friends. Khorne is a dick, and Tzeentch is the biggest dick there is. Nurgle is nice, but Slaanesh can't get over the fact that he cucked them. ("Can't get over it" in both a [[PROMOTIONS|positive]] and [[RAGE|negative]] sense.)
** Also, Nurgle has ''all'' the STDs, which would make him Slaanesh's natural enemy out in the wild. Isha's immunity to all diseases is better than any protection, which is a pretty substantial reason why Slaanesh liked her.
* Slaanesh gets bullied by all the other Chaos Gods constantly because none of them like him/her/it. This does not upset the balance, though, because Slaanesh likes BDSM where they being bullied and tortured by the other Chaos Gods.
* Slaanesh is Tzeentch's second favorite victim for his hijinks, because it's oh so easy to string them along with offers of porn, whores, BDSM and/or drugs.
* Khorne [[Rip and Tear|regularly tears off Slaanesh's arms]] and beats them over the head with them (Again, this inadvertently makes Slaanesh orgasm).
* Slaanesh was doping when they killed the Eldar Gods, they couldn't really beat them all without using performance enhancing drugs. (at least that what Khaine, a god of war and destruction, keeps insisting when ever someone asks him why he got both figuratively and possibly literally raped by a god(ess) of sex drugs and rock'n'roll)
** Slaanesh is always on drugs (Except psychiatric medication, they kill sex drive down to the very biology)
* Slaanesh attempted to fight the Nightbringer in a desperate attempt to win back some street cred, they got their left boob cut off for their trouble. It hurt so bad/good that it retroactively cut off the left boobs of all of Slaanesh's greater daemons and that's why they all only have one boob (or six). Given the new backstory and their time of birth, this means that Slaanesh lost against a Necron Pokémon.
* Slaanesh is a great patron of the arts. Their favourite films include:
** Hellraiser: Slaanesh's number one film. In fact, they took a lot of inspiration on many of the movie's aspects... <strike>That is, of course, a lie. They actually ripped off Hellraiser.</strike> Hellraiser ripped them off. Slaanesh had a cameo appearance in the sequel dressed as a lozenge.
** A Serbian Film: Slaanesh's second favorite movie. They already started putting NEWBORN PORN into her/his daily schedule.
** Pink Flamingos: Slaanesh's third favourite movie, which is actually a film adaptation of Slaanesh's journal. Slaanesh especially enjoyed the depictions of their hobbies (including bestiality, scat fetishes and vore), that the movie quotes them directly (see Divine's quote above).
** A Clockwork Orange: One of Slaanesh's favorite movies; not so much the book it was adapted from as it was less about sex and more a commentary on the nature of morality. (Although Slaanesh faps/shlicks to commentaries on morality too.) They like to jerk-off at many of the movie's aspects, but more notably Malcolm Mcdowell's sexy face. They also find the death of one of the characters totally hilarious, due to the fact that said character was killed by a giant rocking ceramic phallus straight to the face. '''BLOWJOB OF DEATH !!! LULZ !!!''' Unbelievable and improbable? Well here's evidence to prove it: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbRSag-L-GQ Giant rocking ceramic phallus attack !!!].
** The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Mostly because of Tim Curry (who is actually Slaanesh).
** Legend: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3J91bPrW9A Also because of Tim Curry, who practically plays a daemon prince of Slaanesh].
** Caligula: The movie written by Gore Vidal for copious amounts of sex, incest and Malcolm Mcdowell as the title character. Slaanesh's favorite scenes are when Caligula engages in an incestuous threesome with his sister and his fiance, and the giant orgies on stage (don't watch the latter if you have a weak stomach - there's a real snake in one scene and [[FATAL|you don't want to know what the woman does with it]]).
** Eyes Wide Shut. Slaanesh has heard the film described as "Just Artsy Porn", but doesn't get the criticism. It's Art and it's Porn. What's not to love?
** Event Horizon: A documentary of how he/she/it is directly responsible for fucking up humanity's first venture into the Warp.
** High Rise: Some say it holds the essence of the one time Slaaneshi and Khaine got jiggy with it.
** Salo or 120 days of Sodom: Slaanesh liked it better when they thought it was real and not just special effects.
** The Stuff: A movie about the time some railroad workers found lakes of Slaanesh's jizz at a quarry and marketed it as dessert food due to its properties, leading to numerous shenanigans and giving Slaanesh much lulz that they never learned where it came from.
* Slaanesh enjoys the Song of Ice and Fire books due to the copious amounts of incest and midget sex and the TV adaption Game of Thrones because they added sex scenes and casting several porn stars on top of this.
* Slaanesh's favorite band is GWAR, because everything with them is sex, drugs, and rock and roll in excess, even covering their audience in jizz, blood, random chemicals, and mixtures of all three, and inciting massive blood orgies constantly.
* Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams is also suspected to be one of the early influences of Slaanesh in human music culture, the singer suspected to be one of his/her/its avatars.
* Slaanesh gets ALL the pussy, as well as all the dick, cloca, ovipositor, stamen, pistil, and pilus.
* Slaanesh tried to seduce all of the remaining C'tan at once. Slaanesh ended up getting the pleasure sensors in its brain lobotomized. S/he got off on this.
* Slaanesh found Captain Flashheart so magnificent in Blackadder that they created a daemon prince in his image. Woof woof!
* Despite psychic powers supposedly being Tzeentch's specialty, Slaanesh's tend to be the really [[cheese|cheesy]] ones. 3rd edition had a minor power called Siren, which forbids the caster from being shot at in the opponent's shooting phase (it's just as broken as it sounds). 4th edition has Lash of Submission, which the Chaos Marine tactics cover the usage of (in a nutshell, GW admitted they didn't realize how good it turned out to be and it was the most used on daemon princes even though the +1I from the required MoS wasn't very useful). And what about 6th edition? While Tzeentchian sorcerers focus on pwning the shit our of enemy with (mediocre) mind bullets and warp-beams, Slaaneshi ones pack a whole lot of cheesy buffs and debuffs, which makes them so much better. Similar deal in Fantasy, where Slaanesh, some of the time, offers a better selection of magic than Tzeentch.
*Slaanesh is the only entity in existence who listens to the My Dad Wrote A Porno podcast purely for erotic purposes. He/she/it cannot understand for the life of him/her/it why no one else finds cervix-grabbing sexy.
** Still, ]they fap/shlick/???-PROFIT at this.
*Mentioning the names of Vint Cerf and Bob Kahn gives Slaanesh a massive boner/lady-boner. Though Slaanesh didn't have a hand in inventing the internet, three guesses why Slaanesh loves the internet, and the first two don't count. Mentioning Hugh Hefner also has a similar effect.
* As a patron of the arts, Slaanesh has many favorite authors, so can't pick one. Having said that, Marquis de Sade is a strong contender.
* Considering that Slaanesh is about excess, there might be several other types of Marines besides Noise Marines we don't know about:
** Smell Marines, who use gasses to do whatever they wish through peoples noses, whether it be death, insanity, paralysis, suggestibility, 'seeing colors', and so on, always permanent brain damage. This is a way to get Nurgle followers to convert.
**Sight Marines, whose weapons create wondrously intricate bloom and color effects of equally detailed and aesthetically (only to a branch of masochists masochists can't stand) pleasing. This is a way to get Khorne followers to convert.
** Touch Marines, who know the nervous system better than a Bene Gesserit, able to bring the mightiest warriors down with the right jab in the right spot, consumed with uncontrollable orgasms.
**Taste Marines, think about the spiciest thing you've ever eaten, now imagine that a million times stronger, we are talking Exterminatus level of scovilles here, literally melt your god damn tongue off heat. It's like that only worse. They would use super pepper spray that can literally eat through armor.
*Also, a former Tzeentch follower gone Slaaneshi would be incredibly dangerous: Tzeentch followers understand indeterminism (from a very distorted, cynical perspective) and also see knowledge as power per circumstance to win where force, charisma and economics cannot. A devout Slaaneshi seeks to experience everything. Thus a former Tzeentchian, already well read on enough to convince themselves they experienced it, or well read enough to steal peoples experiences, who became a hedonist addict as well would be left with one desire: to be omnipotent and thus be able to go beyond the limits of mortal imaginings in pursuit of understanding and experience for the sake of understanding and experience.
*Slaanesh tried to get in Khorne's head by seeking to understand the appeal of skulls. Instead Slaanesh got bored and invented the idea of skullfucking. <br/> '''{{Blam|DAMN IT SLAANESH WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SKULL THRONE THIS IS DISGUSTING!! IT'S EVERYWHERE!! IT'S OOZING OUT OF EVERY EYE SOCKET!!! I'M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO SIT ON THAT AGAIN AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!}}'''
**Khorne secretly loves it when Slaanesh does this, because now he has even more of an excuse to go out and collect enough skulls to replace it.
*[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Slaanesh Patrols will skull fuck your family.]]
* [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|If you masturbate with barbed wire, a daemon of slaanesh will be summoned, and you will be exterminatus-ed]]
* Slaanesh secretly wants Khorne. S/he's upset that the 'Special K' hates her/him/it.
**However, if Slaanesh ever did create a copy of him/her/their/itself, then the two would immediately try to murderfuck each other, in a kinky simulacrum of Highlander. This would apply to all of the main ruinous powers, <s>apart from</s> including Nurgle, <s>who would simply hug his</s> whose female double <s>and then get to work with said double on a particularly virulent strain of super aids/crotch rot.</s> would get jealous of Isha and conspire with Slaanesh to get rid of that home-wrecking skank.
*Slaanesh is the patron <s>god</s> <s>goddess</s> deity of bonobos (look them up).
*Slaanesh's ''only'' criticism of the Cats movie is that there are no visible genitals.
* Slaanesh #fuckedPalpatine.

== Gallery ==
{{heresy}}
{{promotions}}
{{/d/}}
<gallery>
Image:Slaaneshfaggot.jpeg|A real-life worshipper of Slaanesh.
Image:Slaaneshi.JPG|Slaanesh followers DO COCAINE!!!!!!!!
Image:Daemonette commisssar.JPG|That's a real [[commissar]], just look at the [[hat]].
Image:Daemonette02.JPG|DDaemonette
Image:Daemonette01.JPG|It's not furry, you can totally fap to it.

Image:Daemonette.JPG
Image:Slaaneshi2.JPG|Why it's good to be Slaanesh follower.
Image:Daemonxmas copy.jpg|Slaanesh can be festive as well.
Image:Lurvemudkipz.JPG|Evidence that it is possible that some [[pokémon]] are susceptible to Chaotic influence.

Image:Slaaneshi mudkips.JPG|Oh god. ;_;
Image:Slaanesh trainer.jpg|There is no excuse or explanation for this.
Image:Slaaneshijack copy.jpg|This image can be used to improve a bad thread.
Image:Irresistible.jpg|Simply Irresistible

Image:Dranon5.jpg|Mr Culexus' interpretation of Slaanesh. Notice the massive bulge in the crotch that's bigger than it's boobs.
Image:Not_too_abysmal_by_Mr_Culexus.jpg|Love can bloom in the galaxy of Transylvania
Image:1271157389405.jpg|What a Slaaneshi raptor would look like by non-GW canon.
Image:daemonette_minerva.png|Who else did you think furries worshiped?

Image:Slaanesh_LAWL.jpg|LAWL
Image:Trapmarine.jpg|Slaanesh Chaos Marines come with a little "extra"...
Image:Trapmarine_BW.jpg|... which may not be so "little".
Image:Daemonette_with_seeker_mount.jpg|She "rides" it... if you know what I mean... no seriously, zoom in if you don't believe me. Although for your sake you really should take my word for it.

Image:643214 - Daemonette Eldar Warhammer 40k howling banshee warhammer yuliapw.jpg|The more common and usual fate of Eldar.
Image:Slaanesh cosplay 1 by zk87-d2zo47q.jpg|Now 262.71% more real!
Image:Slaanesh Time.jpg|You might be mixing up love and lust.
Image:Slaanesh_miniature_closeup.jpg|Gimme some sugar

Image:Slaanesh+hr giger.jpg|H. R. Geiger is pleased
Image:Slaanesh by zk87-d2z4bpv.jpg|Lashes of Torment!
Image:Slaanesh-153102-SweetAngel.jpg|She Who Thirsts indeed
Image:Khorne-and-Slaanesh.jpg|Khorne is sooo tsundere...
Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated]

Image:Dark_Prince_of_Pleasure_Slaanesh_wfrp.jpg|From the old [[WFRP]] days
Image:MoeSlaanesh.png|How can anyone not want to serve something so utterly <s>adorable</s> heretical?
Image:1419021850273.jpg|Yes, that is a Santa outfit.
Image:Anons_fall_to_Chaos.png|Anon heralds the Age of Strife.
Image:Champion of Slaanesh RL.png| We have the makings of a daemon prince here!
Image:HereticalUseOfChainswords.gif| When you say "Go Fuck Yourself with a Chainsword," Slaanesh will take it literally.
Image:Cultist-chan24.jpg|Slaanesh has improved cultist chan
Image:Wildslaanesh.png|Slaanesh Demon corrupts children
Image:Slaanesh-sorcerer.jpeg|Slaanesh makes the Cenobites from Hellraiser look good.
</gallery>

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever
Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho!
Don't dream it, be it...
Don't dream it, be it...

==See Also==
*[[Azazel]] - The oldest existing [[Daemon Prince]] of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[Dechala]] - The oldest existing Chaos Champion special character of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[The Masque]] - Slaanesh's former fav fab Daemonette stripper, and current PR rep.
*[[Sigvald]], Slaanesh's favorite not-Caligula/not-Joffrey.
*The [[Emperor's Children]] legion - The largest contingent of sick fucks on this side of the warp. And on that side of the warp.
*[[Fulgrim]] - Primarch of the largest contingent of sick fucks ever.
*[[Fabius Bile|Fabulous Bile]] - What you get by combining a self-obsessed homosexual and Dr. Frankenstein, only this one is played by geriatric [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kane_%28wrestler%29 Glenn Jacobs] instead of young Tim Curry.
*[[Lucius]] - Considered by some as the Sickest of Fucks amongst the living.
*[[Doomrider]] - He does COCAINE!
*[[Miriael Sabathiel]] - The most infamous [[Sisters of Battle|Sister of Battle]] to fall to Slaanesh. Commonly mistaken as the ''only'' Chaos Sister of Battle by people who haven't read [[Ephrael Stern|Daemonifuge]]. Last seen hunting Eldar to give them [[Rape|hugs]].
*[[Codex - Fallen Sororitas]] - An entire homebrew army of Slaaneshi Sisters of Battle.
*[[Daemonette]] - Daemons of Slaanesh. Viewing said content is heretical, in 20 seconds or less after clicking the link, expect a squad of inquisitorial storm troopers to barge-in and blam you to hell.
*[[Reasonable Daemonette]] - Slaanesh's perversion knows no bounds. Hers does, and she respects yours.
*[[Loli D]] - The [[loli]] variant of the Slaaneshi Daemonette. Viewing said content is [[Extra Heresy|extra heretical]]. E-Commissars can and will [[Exterminatus|blam you from your monitor with the utmost prejudice]] if you click on this link.
*[http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Slaanesh's_sacrifice.pdf Slaanesh's Sacrifice] - Some Slaaneshi writefaggotry for the more heretical among you.
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRPIsrxUc_E Rick and Morty's visit to the Realm of Slaanesh]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-gHgcmFB6Q Slaanesh's visit to the Realm of Rick and Morty]
*[https://pastebin.com/5QZMB7nH Excessively Vanilla] - AKA the '''one''' time Slaanesh goes full-on vanilla, including actual marriage, handholding, and under the cover missionary sex for the sole purpose of procreation
{{Template:ChaosGods}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Hedonites of Slaanesh]]

Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)

2020-11-30T09:38:04Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

[[File:Dark Elves.jpg|right|350px|thumb|An example of elves who are neither pansies or mary sues (It helps that they're surrounded by corpses and the leader is riding a [[Awesome|dinosaur]]). ]]
{{topquote|Nothing is ever done in this world until men are prepared to kill each other if it is not done.|George Bernard Shaw}}

The '''Dark Elves''' (or '''Druchii''' in Druhir) of [[Naggaroth]] are one of the major races/civilizations of [[Warhammer Fantasy]] and the dark kin of the [[High Elves (Warhammer)|High Elves]].

Unlike most elves, these elves usually get approval of /tg/ for a variety of reasons. This includes taking their arrogance to its peak and seeing non-elves as slaves/vermin, using technology, scantily clad women (for the fa/tg/uys), not being nature-lovers but being able to tame awesome monsters (including the aforementioned dinosaur mounts) and using ranged weapons other than bows.

== Dim history to modern day ==
Once upon a fucking time, there was an elf named Malekith, who was the child of the King Aenarion and the Sorceress Morathi. When Aenarion died attempting to fuck a Daemon of Chaos, there was a debate amongst the Princes of Ulthuan as to who would become the next Phoenix King. Now Malekith expected the princes to choose him, but they instead chose Prince Bel Shanaar of Tiranoc, because they (rightly) feared that Malekith would militarize Ulthuan and go about destroying and conquering shit around the world. Now of course, this decision made Malekith have a huge temper tantrum and vowed to take his rightful place as ruler of [[Ulthuan]].

So after a series of events that involved lots of lying, backstabbing, secret bargains and other douchebaggery, Malekith poisoned Bel Shanaar (specifically, he grabbed him and forced him to drink a goblet of poisoned wine after being offered it but tried to politely refuse), and killed many of the Princes gathered in the Shrine of Asuryan. When Malekith stepped into the Flame of Asuryan
to prove he was the true king of Ulthuan, the flames burned his ass and spat him out because it didn't like the taste of his dickery. So after his followers escaped with their charred leader, Morathi saved her son from death and commissioned a renegade priest of Vaul to create the Armor of Midnight and welded it to Malekiths flesh.

So after a long civil war, Malekith and his followers were banished from Ulthuan and sailed to a new land, via the city sized Black Arks, which they named [[Naggaroth]] and renamed themselves the Druchii (Dark Elves). To this day, Malekith and the Druchii continue fighting the Asur in order to take revenge against their hated kin (because daddy's little prince can't be happy being king of a race and a new land, no he has to have the one particular crown after all...kind of being a bit spoiled there Malekith me old mate).

== The End Times ==
So Games Workshop decided to end the canon stalemate that the Dark Elves and High Elves have enjoyed for the last fifteen or so years by pressing the big red button and activating complete destruction on the Warhammer world. The sheer amount of changes are staggering but for the Dark Elves it primarily means this:

- It seems Malekith was meant to be the one true Phoenix King all along and only didn't get the crown because he didn't stay in the flames one second longer (wut?) but this is now corrected and now he is not the Witch King but Eternity King Malekith, all hail!

- Naggaroth got invaded by a big hordes of stinky Khornates who pretty much destroyed the country. Malekith though couldn't care less about it and left along with his people after salting the earth and wrecking the cities so the Chaos hordes won't have any plunder.

- Morathi was left to rot in her tower by her son after he finally tired of her slagging figure and now she has been picked up by grand pimp Slaanesh. Cue lolz for the epic just desserts for the spiteful bitch.

- Malus got ripped apart by his own inner daemon as it grew strong enough to escape thus causing many fan powers of Darkblade to grief and gnaw on their fingernails in fury.

- The Dark Elves are no more as Malekith becomes rightful king of all elfkind and merges the three kinds (dark, high and wood) back into one flavour and sets up his new kingdom in Athel Loren.

All in all the Dark Elves don't really exist any more. We just now have Elves. Cue the arguments among elf players over the fact they now have to be besties with races they considered their arch-foes in the past. Enjoy!

== Age of Sigmar ==

The transition into the Mortal Realms saw the Dark Elves unnecessarily splintered up into many tiny factions. Of these, only the [[Daughters of Khaine]] truly took off as its own independent thing, with the rest of the former Dark Elf range being among the many that were subsumed into [[Cities of Sigmar]]. Strangely enough, with the majority of High and Wood Elf units being squatted, this results in the majority of the aelven representation in Cities consisting of units that were murderers, criminals, and edgelords.

Broken Realms has seen a pseudo-rebirth of the Dark Elves, introducing a new faction of Har Kuron that can only take the former Dark Elf units but also has access to Daughters of Khaine units. Lore-wise this represents Morathi conquering the city of Anvilgard and starting a new Khaine-worshipping aelven empire.

In addition to this, there are also various hints at a new faction of aelves (thought to be called Umbraneth after an accidental mention on Warhammer Community) lead by Malerion (the AoS rename of Malekith), which will likely be to Dark Elves what [[Lumineth Realm-Lords]] were to High Elves. Except presumably they'll have [[Mandrakes|badass shadow daemons]] instead of battle cattle.

== Society ==
Dark Elf society can be summed as pretty much fucked up.

Druchii love raiding, pillaging, enslaving and killing the lesser races but especially their hated kin. May whatever God have mercy on the bastards that have been unlucky enough to be enslaved by them. Chances are that they'll inflict such horrific tortures upon the slaves that it will make Ramsay Bolton's torture of Theon Greyjoy look like a picnic. Alternatively they will gruesomely sacrifice them to Khaine. Doing slave labor isn't any better, since they'll be continuously whipped or beaten to work until exhaustion, after which they'll still be tortured or sacrificed (and on the rare occasions they do get fed, you don't want to know what the food is or where they got it).

The Druchii also have this fun little event called "Death Night", a ten-day (8th change it to just one) orgy of bloodshed where the Witch Elves go door to door and kill some people in sacrifice to Khaine and kidnap children. Females are sent to become Witch Elves <s>or Sorceresses</s> (Witch Elves and Sorceresses hate each other) whilst males are thrown into a boiling cauldron of blood, and any lucky enough to survive are trained to become Assassins. All the inhabitants can do during this particular night is to blockade their homes and pray for the best, for if the Witch Elves decide to choose theirs, tough luck for them (unless they can bribe the temple with a HUGE slave donation, then they might be spared). The next day, it's customary for families spared the attentions of the Witch Elves to sacrifice a member of their household to Khaine in gratitude (in practice often a slave or an elderly relative). Recently, a number of Dark Elf social commentators have complained that Death Night these days is far too commercialized, what with Death Night cards and Morathi costumes going on sale as many as six months in advance. Honestly, Elflings these days have quite forgotten about the true meaning of Death Night. Back in my day, it was all about Khaine! The slaughter! The tradition!

How the fuck they get anything done is anyone's guess. It's odd that they seem to still outnumber the High Elves (despite High Elves almost always inflicting far heavier casualties then they do), although their constant sexual orgies may be a contributing factor to their population size. Also, some parts of the lore have implied they kidnap High Elf children and babies to raise as Dark Elves. Then there's High Elf and Wood Elf defectors. In reality, it's because Games Workshop has admitted they just write whatever numbers they want at the time and there are as many Elves as the plot demands.

Druchii believe that the strong should rule over the weak. They plot against each other on a daily basis in order to advance themselves in the noble hierarchy (just think the great houses playing the game of thrones in a Song of Ice and Fire except with Dark Elves and dialed to eleven). The only ones above them all are Malekith and Morathi.

Because of a prophecy which states that Malekith will be killed by a Sorcerer, males have been forbidden to practicing magic. 7th edition does state that male spellcasters exist, they just have to keep their practices a secret. 8th edition shows the ones who were alive when Malekith came to power are still around, only Malekith sold their souls to Slaanesh so they're too busy trying not to get their souls raped to try and murder his ass.

Dark Elves have a hobby of taming vicious monsters to serve as beasts of war (though with great difficulty depending on what they are). They were able tame Cold Ones, Manticores (though their bloodlust leads to temporary losses of control as the Manticore goes LEEROY), sea monsters including the Kharibdyss (though they're so ravenous and primeval the Dark Elves occasionally lose control of them with mass Dark Elf casualties, starting with the handlers), fire breathing Hydras and Black Dragons (though the dragons are intelligent enough that it's as much an alliance as taming). But for some reason, they are unable to control Harpies.

== Cities ==
Due to the End Times canon, you can consider this list of cities now outdated because at the last count they are now all salted and burned to the ground.

* '''Naggarond''', the Tower of Cold, capital of the realm: A ECKSBAWKSHUEG city (the gates alone are fifty feet high, and the wall is double that), Naggarond has everything a Dark Elf could want. Sacrificial altars, barracks, a citadel in the middle and even shops (many that sell BDSM attire). At the top of the citadel is the Witch King's throne room where he can (via magic) view anywhere in the entire world (watch his armies march, obsess over Ulthuan, spy on people in the shower, that sort of thing).

* '''Ghrond''', the North Tower: Less a city and more a fortress, it's proximity to the chaos wastes lets Dark Elf sorceresses see the future in the magical auroras or something.

* '''Karond Kar''', the Tower of Despair: Pretty much the main city for all the Dark Elves beastmasters, and where they keep their zoos. Since Dark Elves view non Elves as little better than animals, it's also the first place in Naggaroth that most of the slaves who survive the journey will see.

* '''Hag Graef''', the Dark Crag: This delightful place is a slave's worst nightmare. Hag Graef is a city located in a valley where the mountains reach so high that it blots out the sun (hence the name "The Dark Crag"). Slaves are forced to work day and night without rest or else feel the sting of the whip or (of course) something even worse. And if the slaves are lucky to die, the Warpstone mined reanimates their corpses. Hag Graef was also the site of one of Malekith's dickeries where he poisoned the rebelling lords and only gave them the antidote if they swore fealty to him... Yeah, what a dick.

* '''Har Ganeth''', City of Executioners: This is the last place you want to be, since this is the HQ of the Cult of Khaine. If you are a resident, be prepared to fight for your life on a daily basis, since your neighbor or the local priest/priestess of Khaine will want your blood running in the streets. If you are a slave, prepare to be sacrificed to Khaine by hot, sexy and psychopathic Witch Elves in the most gruesome way imaginable.

* '''Clar Karond''', the Tower of Doom: Naggaroth's primary shipyard. Surrounded by forests and near the entrance to the underground sea the Dark Elves use to travel to kingdoms worth plundering safely. Regular passtimes include hunting escaped slaves, monster hunts, and gladiator matches between those same slaves and/or monsters. [[Matt Ward|Now rivals of Karond Kar in place for the beastmaster roles]].

[[Matt Ward|The following was added in 8th Edition]].

* '''Har Kaldra''', the Forgotten City: Little is known about it, except Morathi covertly incited them to rebel against Malekith's rule to make him stop spending all day in front of his computer in the basement and get shit done again. Malekith destroyed the city in a night with magic, but went right back to his usual business. A theory is that Har Kaldra was Naggaroth's breadbasket and the city's destruction reduced the harvest enough that it's the reason the Dark Elves turned to piracy to sustain their nation, but GW wasn't clever enough to come up with that.

==Religion==
See [[Warhammer Fantasy Elf Gods]] for further details on just who's who in the Dark Elf religious circles.

== Characters ==
* '''[[Malekith]]''': The Witch King of Naggaroth and ruler of the Dark Elves who still lives with his mother. Scratch that, he is now the pimped out Eternity King Malekith, kicker of asses, particularly his mother's since he left her to Slaanesh's sweet graces.
* '''[[Morathi]]''': Hag Queen of Naggaroth, Mother of Malekith and leader of the Sorceresses of Ghrond. Often tried to undermine him and manipulate him. She got swallowed by Slaanesh during the End Times but she's back now, and she recently became the new Goddess of Murder.
* '''[[Malus Darkblade]]''': A champion of the Witch King and lord of Hag Graef who is cursed with the Daemon Tz'arkan inhabiting his body. He is also the wielder of the Warpsword of Khaine. As part of the character cull in fantasy he is dead, very dead, after Tz'arkan gained a great deal of power during the recent Chaos uprising and ripped Malus's body apart from the inside to escape. Ouch!
* '''[[Hellebron]]''': Second oldest of the Hag Queens and leader of the Cult of Khaine. Daughter of Alandrian, one of Malekith's lieutenants during the Sundering, and super-hot in her prime (Malekith called her more beautiful than Morathi, who was herself a candidate alongside Alarielle and Neferata for most beautiful woman in the Warhammer world). She loathes Morathi because she has locked her into an addictive cycle of taking age rejuvenating bloodbaths (no pun intended) in the Cauldron of Blood which are temporary since Morathi kept the best for herself. Also a cradle-snatcher secretly banging Tullaris. After Malekith became Eternity King and Khaine died Hellebron had a crisis of faith and was corrupted by Bea'lakor. At Middenheim she got into a catfight with Alarielle, where the former cured Hellebron of her psychosis then stabbed her in the heart.
* '''Ebnir Soulflayer''': Most trusted general of Malekith. Tried to unite the Druchii in the Witch King's absence against the Bloodied Horde at the onset of the End Times. Wasn't easy. Didn't work.
* '''Tullaris Deathbringer''': Champion of the Har Ganeth Executioners. Like older women because he was secretly banging Hellebron (then again, Hellebron was super-hot when she was young and periodically looks that way again thanks to the rejuvenating bloodbaths) Actually managed to critically wound Phoenix King Tyrion in close combat, at the battle of Reaver's Mark and would have killed him had it not been for Nagash's earth shaking ritual of undeath. Point for Dark Elves. Well liked by everyone really.
* '''Kouran Darkhand''': Master of the Black Guard of Naggarond during the End Times. Took overall command of the city's defenses when the Chaos forces broke into the realm in their millions. Held the city for three months until Malekith's return. Fought Valkia the Bloody to a stalemate on more than one occasion. Royal boss.
* '''Drane Brackblood''': Admiral of the Fleet on the last assault on Ulthuan.
* '''Lokhir Fellheart ''': Pirate Lord. Defended the ports of Karond Kar.
* '''Drusala''': Sorceress Bitch. <s>Agent of Morathi</s> Morathi in disguise, see above.
* '''Urian Poisonblade''': The best warrior Malekith had ever commanded. Killed everyone who taught him how to fight, and was said to know 10,000 ways to kill a person and 10,000 more to cripple them. After some of Urian's prisoners said it'd be better to choke to death on their tongues than get tortured by him, [[Grimdark|he made sure they didn't have tongues to choke on when he found out]]. Fought Tyrion to a standstill (in a duel that lasted over an hour while Urian's previous opponents lasted less than a minute, and that Urian would've won if not for Morathi's trickery and Tyrion wearing Aenarion's near-impenetrable armor), then got killed by Tyrion with a cheap blow.
* '''Lurhan''': Assistant to the ruler of Hag Graef. Malus' father. Horrible father (though an excellent one by Dark Elf standards). Hates Malus and wants him dead, and the feelings mutual. Tries to have him killed covertly because a direct attempt on his life would provoke the wrath of Malus' mother. Killed by Malus on Malus' quest.
* '''Eldire''': Dark Elf Sorceress and Malus' mother. Violated her oath to Malekith in a gambit for power by having a child with Lurhan. Malus is the closest thing she has to someone she loves, and vica versa (Malus seems to love Spite, but Spite is a pet and steed).
* '''Bruglir''': Oldest half brother of Malus. In an incestuous relationship with his sister Yasmir. Renowned captain of a Corsair fleet, though not that renowned otherwise he would've been given a Black Ark. Has a moustache in the books, making him one of those rare elves with facial hair besides eyebrows. Killed by Malus.
* '''Isilvar''': Half brother of Malus and an entrepreneur among Dark Elf merchants. Covert Slaanesh worshipper and in an incestuous relationship with his sister Nagaira.
* '''Yasmir''': Half sister of Malus and the most beautiful woman in Hag Graef. Was in an incestuous relationship with her brother Bruglir. Called the Bride of Ruin, while Malus is the Lord of Ruin.
* '''Nagaira'''" Half sister of Malus, a sorceress of some power and very curvy, which makes her fat by Dark Elf standards. Had an on-again off-again incestuous relationship with Malus, an ongoing one with her brother Isilvar and she was also a secret Slaanesh worshipper until she failed to conquer Ghrond quickly enough so the Chaos Gods consumed her.
* '''Urial''': Half brother of Malus. Born crippled because Malus' mother poisoned him during pregnancy. He was given as a sacrifice to Khaine for being a cripple, but a miracle occured and he became a rare male priest of Khaine. Lusts for his sister Yasmir.
* '''Urian''': Agent of Malekith within Ulthuan (no relation to Urian Poisonblade above).
* '''Hauclir''': Malus's bro.

== Trivia ==
* According to the map, Naggaroth takes up part of what is the United States. Goes to show what GW thinks of the colonies.

== See Also ==
*[[Warhammer/Tactics/Dark Elves]] Tactics page

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer Fantasy Battle}}

[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]]
[[Category:Dark Elves]]

Morathi

2020-11-20T05:56:37Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

[[File:Morathi.jpg|500px|thumb|right|"Don't you wish your mother was hot like me?"]]
{{Topquote|A scratch from an envenomed dagger, a sip from a poisoned chalice, a slight to a proud warrior's honour... In time these things may do far more grievous harm than the broadsword or the axe, my love...|Morathi}}
{{Topquote|Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.|Groucho Marx}}

'''Morathi''' is the Queen of the [[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Druchii]] from [[Warhammer Fantasy]], the supreme leader of their religious faction and mother to the racial leader [[Malekith]].

She is also perverted, incestuous, so-sexy-you'll-die-for-real-lolz, and pretty much a complete bitch as she was responsible for a lot of the actions that screwed over Elfkind. Don't believe us? Read and weep oh dear reader.

Her character suffered greatly from a 7th edition retcon, further worsened in 8e until in [[End Times]] her role in history was reduced to mostly "had a baby who is really important" and scheming on the side that kills a lot of people but contributes nothing to the story. Many fans were angered by her apparent and very disappointing death in the event, although it was later revealed she survived and may in fact still regain her glory as an important character.

She is usually seen mostly naked, although sometimes she covers her breasts or uses pasties, and always rides her Dark Pegasus named Sulephet into battle. Her model is one of the raciest in the Warhammer range as she wears a metal thong and little else, her perfect tits on display for everyone to see (something she uses with magic in a Black Library novel she gets a starring role in to render an entire mixed-gender garrison of soldiers into standing mutely while riding up and down in front of their fortress on Suluphet as they get shot to pieces with her crossbow forces). The model of her even has them helpfully pushed upwards for the best possible angle. It could be she does this because her son is so lacking in sex appeal she must make up for both of them....oh the harsh duties she must do!

==The Legend==
She was originally a mere maiden, rescued by the first Phoenix King [[Aenarion]] from a [[Chaos]] slave caravan and he was so taken with her that he took her to be his new wife, having recently lost his first wife the [[Everqueen]] to a [[Daemons|Daemonic]] attack. Considering her actions later, the rumors of her being a [[Slaanesh|Slaaneshi]] Sorceress and using her magicks to charm Aenarion were most likely true. Aenarion moved his court to [[Ulthuan|Nagarythe]] and fell into a hedonistic lifestyle while his armies battled the Daemon apocalypse raging all around. Morathi eventually gave birth to his third child, Malekith, and encouraged Aenarion to sit back and relax as everything would turn out ''juuuuuuust fine''. [[Caledor the Dragontamer]], Aenarion's old friend, hated Morathi bitterly and knew she was wreaking havoc on his already damaged mind. In a last act of desperation, Caledor gathered his Wizards and began channeling magic to create a Vortex that would suck excess magic out of the Warhammer World so Daemons would have difficulty manifesting forevermore. Morathi encouraged Aenarion to slay Caledor for his betrayal, although upon reaching the site of the ritual he instead defended his friend against the might of Chaos itself.

After the disappearance of Aenarion and the trapping of Caledor within the Vortex, Morathi planned and groomed her son to take the throne. When the actual election came however, Malekith assured the Princes of the land he was willing to accept a vote for him rather than simply claim the throne by birthright. In a retcon in [[End Times]] this turned out to be a gambit to ensure the loyalty of the Elf people and the manipulations of Chaos robbed him of his birthright; however, in original canon this was simply the only moral choice he ever made. His friend Bel Shanaar was chosen instead, and Morathi raved and ranted like a wild woman over their "treachery". Only Malekith could calm her, and assure her they had made the right choice. He then took to the sea to explore the world like his father had, being gone for many years. During his travels he encountered [[Warriors of Chaos|human Chaos worshipers]] and random undead, fighting them for control of a magical crown. Curious, he placed it on his head and saw a future where Chaos would conquer his people. He immediately rushed home.

Prior to the 7e retcon, Malekith began searching his homeland for Chaos worship and discovered the Cult of Pleasure revering Slaanesh, with his own mother Morathi as the High Priestess to Slaanesh himself having corrupted a very large chunk of the Elf race to her way of thinking. She fled to the city of Anlec where a large number of cultists resided. Malekith led an army consisting of both his own army and the supporting armies led by the princes of Ellyrion, Yvresse, Chrace and Saphery. Malekith was successful in breaching the cities defences and confronted his mother in the cities palace. Though Morathi had the upper hand with her great sorcerous powers, she was defeated. Morathi was spared from certain death by convincing her son that she would give him her full support of the cults and help him gain the Phoenix throne. She was brought before the court of the Phoenix king in the city of Tor Anroc. Though she would have been executed for her Crimes, Malekith convinced Bel Shanaar to imprison her instead (Despite Imrik of Caledor's insistence that she must die, even offering to strike the deathblow himself).

He called a meeting of the Princes of Ulthuan to reveal a discovery about the Cult. Rather than point the finger at his mother, he accused Bel Shanaar of the heresy as Bel lay dying from poison Malekith had slipped him. He then declared that he himself was the fit ruler of the Elf race, and stepped through the [[Asuryan|Flames of Asuryan]] which select who is fit to be Phoenix King. Due to his treachery and the fact the Flames are designed to root out the unworthy, his full-retard plan resulted in him burning to bacon. His followers quickly slaughtered the unarmed Princes while Morathi rushed him out and kept him alive with her magic until a priest of [[Vaul]] loyal to his family sealed him in a suit of frozen armor that would reduce the misery of his blackened body.

In the retcon, Morathi was not involved in the story at all; he returned knowing that he was the true Phoenix King as desired by Asuryan while Bel Shanaar had been shielded by magic which disqualified him from judgement, and Malekith himself was only rejected because he was immature and filled with fear. His followers killing the Princes was apparently justified somehow, and everything that happened was all the fault of the [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Asur]] because reasons and grimderpness. She still helped him survive however, and if anything was cast in a more motherly role than the manipulative one.

Either way, Malekith and Morathi gathered their supporters and their culture took a turn for the dark; pre-retcon Morathi summoned Daemons which feed on Elf souls to ravage the countryside while the formerly banned worship of the war god [[Khaine]] replaced all other faiths. Eventually the bitter civil war turned against the new Dark Elf faction, and as one final "fuck you" Morathi messed with the Vortex. When that backfired she, Malekith and the other Dark Elf sorcerers/sorceresses launched huge chunks of Nagarythe away from the land like boats, causing massive death and destruction across Ulthuan. They then settled in a new land to the west, a series of landmasses split by bodies of water that are vaguely in the shape of our real world North America, populated by vicious and nasty monsters as well as Chaos humans. These lands were called Naggaroth, and after destroying the High Elf colonies and humans who dwelled here the Dark Elves settled them.

During this time, in early editions it was implied Morathi and Malekith were lovers who also constantly vied for control of their race while planning to kill each other. Dark Elves set up many batshit insane celebrations such as a night where the Cult of Pleasure and/or Cult of Khaine are allowed to take anyone they want who can't buy their own lives in huge amount of slaves and slaughter them in any way they wish ([[Gav Thorpe]] went on record in regards to Elf storytelling that numbers don't matter, High Elves can lose millions as a statistic or ten as a tragedy and either way they will be dying out, and although Dark Elves always lose massive population due to stupid reasons will always be only in jeopardy in regards to the future but not currently on the verge of extinction). Later lore did away with the incest, Slaanesh worship, and plotting; Morathi went from the ultimate hedonistic schemer and rival to her son like a cougar version of Caligula to his dear sad mother sadly stricken with a mild case of dementia as she continued to believe that she was living in the court of Nagarythe and sometimes mistook Malekith for Aenarion whom she genuinely loved rather than manipulated, all while continuing her duties as high priestess of the Elf god of pleasure [[Atharti]] (as Gav Thorpe thought Elves worshiping Slaanesh makes no sense, since he thinks of them as [[Eldar]] in rat-infested shitholes). Either way, Morathi went to great pains to keep herself youthful. She bathed constantly in blood made from screaming Elf babies, a technique learned either from Slaanesh or Khaine directly depending on pre or post retcon.

As Naggaroth grew in power, Malekith saw the Chaos worshiping Elves as a possible threat to his power. He established Khaine as the official god of the Dark Elves, although loyalty was ultimately only to himself. The Witches were nonetheless loyal only to Morathi and their gods, Khaine and (in older canon) Slaanesh with the two factions politicking against each other while hiding their true allegiance from the rest of the race (as an open secret lacking only proof of course).

Morathi found another rival in [[Hellebron]], a priestess of Khaine who was becoming dangerously powerful within Morathi's Witch Elf forces. Morathi cursed her with a hag-like appearance Elves rarely ever naturally attain, causing Hellebron to hate her more than anyone else. Ironically, after the retcon Hellebron features in history more importantly than Morathi herself.

During the Battle of Finuval Plains, one of the many battles between the High and Dark Elves, Morathi faced off in magical duel with [[Teclis]] while Malekith dueled [[Tyrion]] below. With the Dark Elves having overrun much of Ulthuan, the battle was the deciding point between the two forces; Morathi's own Daemon force lead by a powerful [[Keeper of Secrets]] named [[N'kari]] (later retconned to be just more of Malekith's assassins) had badly injured Tyrion and hunted the Everqueen Alarielle, and the burning of her forest had weakened her powers so she could not help. Morathi and Teclis were evenly matched, although after suffering great injury Malekith managed to escape into the [[Warp]] to avoid being killed, and sensing her son flee the battle Morathi herself immediately retreated leaving her army to be cut down. After the retcon, Morathi is absent from the battle and Malekith fought Teclis in a battle of magic while Tyrion fought his forces.

In the [[Defenders of Ulthuan/Sons of Ellyrion]] novels, Morathi engineers the main plot as a repeat of the invasion which involved the Finuval Plain battle, although this time using a captured Ellyrion Reaver as a Manchurian Candidate who would assassinate Teclis and Alarielle prior to the attack. She used her rank as Slaanesh's High Priestess to call upon the loyalty of Slaanesh's current champion, a Warrior of Chaos who was kept entertained with Elf slaves for him and his men to torture and defile (use your imagination) until Ulthuan was entirely destroyed, whereupon he would be allowed to do as he would with her (que both chuckling that the other Slaaneshi would not survive it). During the ongoing war, the Witch Elves and Slaaneshi spent their time raiding each other's camps and torture-killing their allies when supplies of still-living High Elves were low. Morathi's plan was partially successful, with the cursed dagger the unwitting pawn carrying consuming the body and soul of an Elf maiden he'd fallen in love with to incinerate Teclis like Malekith, then pierce Alarielle's heart. Malekith (who she feared greatly in the novel despite planning to kill him) lead his forces to assault Ulthuan from the south with their navy and slay the greatest heroes of Ulthuan while the Slaaneshi Dark Elves and Warriors attacked from west to east and meet him in the middle at Finuval Plain II. The Champion used Slaanesh's magic of pride to force High Elf commanders and champions into terrible decisions while her beguile and mind control wreaked havoc on the lesser Elf defenders. The plan began to fall apart however when their pawn sought redemption for his actions, reuniting with his brother and fiance before joining the defending army. Alarielle herself was saved by Isha, and the Everqueen entity (made up of Isha and EVERY Everqueen who ever lived) took control of her body and healed the wound before joining the battle herself. The Everqueen's magic purified the Slaaneshi Champion, burning away his blessings to reveal an ugly old man who regretted sacrificing his only love on an altar in exchange for eternal youth, and in a battle of wills between Isha and Slaanesh the Champion was turned into a [[Chaos Spawn]] that was hacked away by the Asur forces. With the loss of their commander and the [[Daemonettes]] turning to ash all around them, the Dark Elves and Warriors looked to their Queen to find her flying inland from the battle. The forces routed, and were destroyed by the triumphant heroes. Meanwhile, Morathi's true plan had been revealed; in her madness she was only using her entire race, her son, and all the humans as a distraction for her to undo the Vortex and summon Slaanesh directly into the world to prove herself as his greatest servant. The Vortex was on an island lost in time and half in and out of the Warp like magical interdimensional amber. She stabbed a Mage to death, and cackled out her monologue to Caledor the Dragontamer when he appeared before her as an emaciated long-dead skeleton of an Elf. After calmly replying that he never liked her and had always seen her as the selfish insane little girl she was, he revealed his true form within the amber as being stronger than he had ever been and as youthful as in his prime. He lashed out at her using only his knowledge of reality, searing her mind and driving her into hysteric wailing as she fled from the island with her very soul bleeding. She somehow flew Sulephet home to Naggaroth in this state, eyes wild and screaming all the way. Her son fled from his battle similarly, his dragon mortally wounded and bereft of a large chunk of his armor and gear. This story's canonicity is doubtful as ALL of the concepts the story hinges on were retconned out. Although considering Morathi's damaged mental state in End Times, it may have simply happened in a very different way and remained canon...

In [[Storm of Chaos]], Morathi brought the Cult of Slaanesh back and allied them with Warriors of Chaos before flaunting themselves openly in Naggaroth. This was implied to put Naggaroth in a civil/religious war between the Temple of Khaine and the Cult of Slaanesh, but Games Workshop retconned Storm of Chaos out of existence so now this never happened.

===The End Times===
In an effort to reboot Warhammer Fantasy, as it had been neglected for so long in favor of yet another Space Marine Chapter update, Games Workshop thrust the End Times upon the Warhammer world, where the slow slide into destruction becomes a non-stop express train. In the canon Naggaroth had become overrun with the legions of Khorne, with Karond Kar and Clar Karond destroyed. Ghrond was surrounded by an impenetrable thicket of magic thorns when Malekith and his army arrived fresh from liberating Naggarond. No longer able to coddle his spiteful but addled mother, Malekith left her alone in a tower there after destroying the entire Chaos invasion force and destroying everything of value from fortresses to slaves to silk handkerchiefs and anything else the enemy could claim, then gathered the entire Dark Elf race barring her guards to go claim his "rightful place as Phoenix King".

She left the tower however, disguising herself as one of her own followers who had been enlisted in Malekith's army, and tried to make Tyrion into Aenarion 2.0. Once Alarielle confirmed Malekith's legitimacy by marrying him (you know, her great great great great great great great great uncle) Tyrion and Morathi were wed, him drawing the [[Widowmaker]] like his ancestor and becoming Khaine's avatar (as well as her greatest lover). She was revealed to actually be the mortal incarnation of the goddess Hekarti.

After Tyrion was killed on the Isle of the Dead, Teclis undid the Vortex in order to bind the [[Warhammer Magic|Winds of Magic]] to mortals in an attempt to combat Chaos. She rushed to stop the whole thing, and broke down sobbing and shrieking when she saw Tyrion and Malekith die (though the latter was alive, but only just). In a fit, she killed all the mages in magic amber except Caledor the Dragontamer. Her actions created a breach that temporarily enabled Slaanesh himself/herself to partially manifest in the material world, forcing one of his/her arms through the rift to grab as many elves as he/she could. Realizing she'd fucked up worse than ever before in every sense of the term, Morathi tried to flee but Caledor held her down and both were taken by Slaanesh into the Warp.

Fans of Morathi, already unhappy with her increasing retcons rendering her useless, '''[[RAGE]]D'''. Her hatedom and High Elf fans cheered that Morathi was getting her just desserts (given Slaanesh's hunger for elf souls it could be literal). A small few continually insisted that it was just how she was going to be returned to Slaanesh's side, reincarnated as a Daemon Princess while others quickly bought her models thinking she would be removed from canon.

===Age of Sigmar===
In [[Age of Sigmar]], Morathi really did make a return. During the Age of Myth, [[Malekith]] awoke alone within the Realm of Shadow without any memories. He took on the name Malerion and attempted to find others of his kind. Eventually he found Morathi, who had escaped up from Slaanesh's belly and out her mouth while he was in a food coma digesting all the aelf souls she had consumed. But Morathi was "changed" by the experience. She now had two forms: The first is her normal aelf form, whilst the winged, coiling, serpentine Grecian Medusa is her true form (which she transforms into by her own will or whenever she loses her cool). As she regained her memories, Morathi formed beings of pure shadow who celebrated around her. She met up with her son Malerion, and though there was a lot of bad blood between them, they worked together to find more aelves.

[[Sigmar]] eventually found them, and they joined his pantheon made from an assembly of gods and other powers of the Mortal Realms. Morathi stayed with Sigmar and rest of the pantheon, trying to feel Sigmar's "Stormhammer" outside of battle. When Sigmar proved immune to her charms, she moved on to [[Nagash]]. With a cry of [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FL_eXQb4C0|"BEGONE THOT!"] Nagash struck Morathi, hurting and upsetting her enough that her true serpentine form was revealed (say what you will about Nagash, he keeps his pimp hand strong). Humiliated, Morathi fled. During this time [[Tyrion]], [[Teclis]] and Malerion learned that [[Slaanesh]] had the aelf souls and sought to trap him. They approached Morathi and, with the promise of the share of the bounty, they used her as bait and managed to capture and imprison [[Slaanesh]] somewhere between the realms of Hysh and Ulgu, siphoning souls from him in increments (too many at once would draw the attention of Slaanesh's followers or fellow Chaos Gods, or allow Slaanesh to break free). Morathi took her share of the aelven souls Slaanesh had consumed and made aelves from them who would go on to become the [[Daughters of Khaine]].

She claims to be the Oracle of [[Khaine]] on account of having recovered his heart and leads the Daughters of Khaine, but in truth she is siphoning the prayer-power meant for the war god (stopping his potential rebirth in the process) in the hope of becoming a goddess herself- after that she plans to exact revenge on everyone who ever wronged her. Her war against the forces of Chaos and her bringing civilization to the Mortal Realms is mentioned, suggesting that she heavily influenced the Mortal Realms before the Age of Chaos.She has also since had another falling out with Malekith/Malerion and is said to be working as a part of Order only because she finds the other three Grand Alliances even less appealing to her tastes; she has become a sworn enemy to the forces of Chaos, the forces of Destruction are too uncivilized for her liking and the forces of Death too static and unappealing to someone whose people were nearly extinct (she probably also remembers the taste of Nagash's pimp hand).

As part of her transformation, she has not only bound the Bloodwrack Medusae to her will as her high priests, but also created two new species of [[monstergirls|monstrous yet beautiful female elf-kin]]; the [[lamia]]-like [[Medusa|Melusai]], and the Khinerai, who resemble either bat-winged [[Avariel]] or a less-monstrous take on the [[Harpy|Harpies]] of old Warhammer.

Ironically, Morathi's new fluff as having mutated into a [[lamia]]-like form as a result of exposure to the [[daemon]]ic powers of [[Slaanesh]] makes her kind of similar to the now-lost Slaaneshi champion, [[Dechala]].

==== Broken Realms ====

Soon she was ready for the final stages of her gambit to ascend to godhood. First she had to steal an artifact from the Idoneth Deepkin, a lantern Teclis used to retrieve souls from Slaanesh's belly and remake them, which was kept under heavy guard. So, sixty Khainites went into <s>the water</s> the temple. One Khainite came out, the <s>sharks</s> Idoneth took the rest. But that one Khainite had the lantern.

Then, Morathi had to secure some of the realmstone of the Eightpoints, called Varanite. She did so by convincing Sigmar and Alarielle of the coming threat, getting Stormcast reinforcements from the former and getting the later to re-open the Genesis Gate and sweep aside the forces of Chaos guarding it. Morathi even sent a secret delegation to Katakros, providing bones imbued with the magic of Ulgu in exchange for a Bonereaper assault on Archaon's holdings. After acquiring the Varanite, Morathi and her Daughters of Khaine left their Stormcast allies to die.

This culminated in the ultimate ritual. Combining various sources of power, Morathi opened a portal directly into Slaanesh's belly. While she carried out this ritual, she was attacked by a massive Idoneth army led by Volturnos seeking to retrieve the lantern and the followers of Slaanesh following a prophecy that could lead to the freeing of their god/dess. Once in the Chaos God's guts, using her weapon and the lantern as a guide, Morathi found the souls of the Cythai and the souls of the Phoenix Kings from the World-Thas-Was. She trapped the Cythai souls and consumed the Phoenix King souls until she reached the strongest - her former husband Aenarion (yes, THE Aenarion, sucks that after everything he did he got consumed by Slaanesh). She hesitated to absorb him, reluctant to erase what was the only man she ever genuinely loved. Enraged by Morathi's actions, Aenarion used this moment of weakness to launch a counterattack that split her soul and left her with two bodies - the elegant Morathi-Khaine (formerly the High Oracle) and the monstrous Shadow Queen.

But her ambition might come back to haunt her in the form of the Newborn - the offspring of Slaanesh spawned from his/her drool (yes, really) when Morathi's ritual gave Slaanesh a seizure. The Newborn followed her back into the Mortal Realms then flew away, the light of its passage making the followers of Slaanesh immediately break off the attack and seek it out. It eventually landed and coalesced into a beautiful and terrifying form that spoke to the assembled Hedonites, who now guard it while it gains in strength.

Back to Morathi. She returned from Slaanesh's prison and, fused with the essence of Khaine, became a goddess and declared herself Morathi-Khaine, bringing her plan to fruition. From here, she quickly subdued Volturnos and made a bargain with him, giving the stolen lantern and the souls of the other Cythai to him in exchange for a binding alliance with the Idoneth. From there Morathi led her forces to Anvilgard and, aided by an insurgent syndicate, conquered the city of Anvilgard, renaming it Har Kuron and marking the beginning of the end of her alliance with Sigmar.

Despite a resistance movement loyal to Sigmar in the city, Morathi had the Stormcast imprisoned so they couldn't warn Sigmar. However, one of the captive Stormcast was freed by a winged shadowy figure, implying Malerion opposes his mother's plans.

==On The Tabletop==
In her current incarnation, Morathi has two forms. Her basic form, High Oracle of Khaine, is a caster of absurd power, and not a slouch in close combat either. She can cast three spells per turn (and Unbind twice), her unique spell which is basically Arcane Bolt on steroids, adds 1 to her casting rolls and doubling the range of her spells, as well as her Command Ability that lets her choose 2 Daughters of Khaine units within 14 inches and have them either shoot or pile in immediately. She also has 6 attacks with her bladed wings and 3 attacks with her spear Heartrender, which is better than a lot of combat characters get. On defense, she has a 4+ Armor, a 6+ Ward (from her Daughters of Khaine allegiance), a -1 to hit from how gorgeous she is AND she can only take 3 wounds per turn.

But that's not all. Either when you choose or when you roll under the number of wounds Morathi has taken, she can get super angry and turn into her giant <s>Snake Mom</s> Shadow Queen form. In this form she loses a lot of her trickier abilities (all of her casting bonuses, -1 to hit, command ability, although she keeps her max of 3 wounds per turn) and instead turns into one of the most brutal beatsticks in the entire game, capable of going head to head with Nagash or Archaon and coming out on top. She gains a shooting attack that allows you to instant kill a model if roll over its number of wounds, between 6 and 2 attacks with Heartrender (which now does a flat 3 wounds as opposed to D3 in her Oracle form), 5 attacks with her Crown of Serpents, and 1 with her tail that does between 6 and D3 damage. That's a max of 29 wounds when she's at full health, enough to wreck anyone's day. Unfortunately, any wounds she takes as Oracle are double in Shadow Queen, so you're better off letting her transform, than waiting for her to take damage. All of this will cost you 480 points, so best make sure you're getting your points worth. It helps that she's one of the best models in the game (in a faction that already has a lot of the best models in the game).

===Broken Realms===
Due to Morathi's new condition, she now costs 600 points but has both of her models active at the same time. Because of their "One Soul, Two Bodies" rule (which also incorporates the effects of the Iron Heart), her two models functionally share a single wound pool. Between that and the Shadow Queen's buffed attacks, she's now able to support her army and get stuck in at the same time, and opponents will have no choice but to deal with the Shadow Queen if they want to stop Morathi-Khaine from casting and buffing.

==Total War: Warhammer==
To the surprise of very few Morathi, alongside her son, got to appear in [[Total War: Warhammer II]] as one of the starting legendary lords for the Dark Elves. She even got to narrate the Dark Elf faction trailer, with her voice actress sounding fittingly manipulative and conniving. Interestingly Morathi as presented in game seems to mix traits of both older and newer lore, she and her faction spread Chaos corruption, and a number of her skills indicate worship, or at least the willingness to deal with, the Chaos gods. However she can also be heard referring to, or beseeching various Cytharai gods like Khaine and Atharti. Of course even in recent lore Morathi was presented as someone willing to treat with, if not outright worship, the Chaos gods and their various daemons.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Morathi Model.jpg|The offical [['Eavy Metal]] paintjob.
Image:Morathi Mini.JPG|Morathi's miniature. Despite being older, and GW's well-known issues with female sculpts, its one of the better ones they've made.
Image:Morathi Original.jpg|Morathi's original model. It was noticeably more conservative in dress.
Image:Old Morathi.jpg|Morathi's earlier look in artwork. ([[Mark Gibbons|MG]])
Image:Morathi MMO.jpg|Rita Repulsa wishes she was this awesome.
Image:Morathi And Teclis.jpg|Morathi and Teclis duel at Finuval Plains. In the narrative it was on opposite sides of a large valley, but whatever.
Image:Morathi Regal Fanart.png
Image:Morathi Kung Fu.jpg
Image:Morathi Doesn't Like It When You Look Over Her Shoulder.jpg
Image:Morathi Color.jpg
File:The Sundering Malekith and Morathi.jpg
File:Morathi 8th Edition.png
Image:Morathi And Alarielle Diplomacy.jpg|Its her pleasure...
Image:Morathi Fanart.jpg
Image:Morathi Malekith Comic.jpg|Morathi and Malekith from the [[Warhammer Online]] comic.
File:Morathi Total War.jpg|If you don't conquer Ulthuan this time Malekith, you're grounded!
File:Morathi AOS Elf Form.jpg|Morathi's new look, now Morathi-Khaine.
File:Morathi Snek.jpg|Morathi's other new look, the Shadow Queen.
</gallery>

[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Dark Elves]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:40k and Fantasy Gods]][[Category:Daughters of Khaine]]

Aliens

2020-11-12T09:32:14Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{skub}}
''This article is about aliens in general. For the movies, see [[Alien]]''

Aliens, also known as extraterrestrials or [[xenos]], are hypothetical creatures that have evolved to live on planets other than Earth. Contact with aliens, both friendly and unfriendly, is a common situation for the science fiction genre.

==Common archetypes for alien species==

===The Greys===
One of the most famous alien archetypes, originating from real world "alien sightings" and conspiracy theories. The Greys are short humanoids with grey skin and large, black eyes. Usually go around in flying saucers abducting humans for experiments and creating crop circles. They tend to only appear in either parodies or in works that are inspired by UFO lore.

===Human Aliens===
Aliens that are visually identical to humans. Nowadays a kind of discredited cliche; examples in the modern day mainly still exist because of old franchises where they've been used for years.

*Kryptonians (Superman)
*Saiyans (Dragon Ball)
*Time Lords (Doctor Who)

===Babeliens===
Beautiful alien women, often existing to be a love interest for the human protagonist. Unlike Human Aliens, the Babeliens tend to have enough visual differences to make them appear more exotic while still being humanoid enough to fap to.

*Red Martians (Barsoom)
*Twi'lek (Star Wars)
*Asari (Mass Effect)

===Swarm Aliens===
Aliens loosely based off eusocial organisms from our own Earth. Usually insectoid, and tend to have little independent thought to the point of often being depicted as a "hive mind". Tend to be antagonists most of the time.

*Bugs (Starship Troopers)
*Tyranids (Warhammer 40k)
*Zerg (Starcraft)

===Lovecraftian Aliens===
Aliens inspired by [[Yog-Sotothery|HP Lovecraft's work]]. Tend to have very abstract and non-humanoid designs, with tentacles being a common recurring trait. Mostly portrayed as villainous, and if they aren't then they are neutral entities who don't care about humans for the same reason we don't really care about beetles.

* Mi-Go, Elder Things, Great Race of Yith (Cthulhu Mythos)

===Alien Animals===
Although most depictions of aliens in science fiction are intelligent creatures, realistically they would be far outnumbered by non-sapient aliens with the intelligence of animals. Indeed, seeing as it took billions of years for Earth to evolve intelligent life, it is likely that most planets with life in the universe wouldn't have any sapient organisms to create civillization. Still, seeing as this is kind of a boring truth, most science-fiction stories with "alien animals" in them have them exist mainly to be the native wildlife of an actually intelligent alien's home planet.

*Sandworms (Dune)
*Tribbles (Star Trek)

Aliens

2020-11-12T09:31:31Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B: Felt this needed to be done

''This article is about aliens in general. For the movies, see [[Alien]]''

Aliens, also known as extraterrestrials or [[xenos]], are hypothetical creatures that have evolved to live on planets other than Earth. Contact with aliens, both friendly and unfriendly, is a common situation for the science fiction genre.

==Common archetypes for alien species==

===The Greys===
One of the most famous alien archetypes, originating from real world "alien sightings" and conspiracy theories. The Greys are short humanoids with grey skin and large, black eyes. Usually go around in flying saucers abducting humans for experiments and creating crop circles. They tend to only appear in either parodies or in works that are inspired by UFO lore.

===Human Aliens===
Aliens that are visually identical to humans. Nowadays a kind of discredited cliche; examples in the modern day mainly still exist because of old franchises where they've been used for years.

*Kryptonians (Superman)
*Saiyans (Dragon Ball)
*Time Lords (Doctor Who)

===Babeliens===
Beautiful alien women, often existing to be a love interest for the human protagonist. Unlike Human Aliens, the Babeliens tend to have enough visual differences to make them appear more exotic while still being humanoid enough to fap to.

*Red Martians (Barsoom)
*Twi'lek (Star Wars)
*Asari (Mass Effect)

===Swarm Aliens===
Aliens loosely based off eusocial organisms from our own Earth. Usually insectoid, and tend to have little independent thought to the point of often being depicted as a "hive mind". Tend to be antagonists most of the time.

*Bugs (Starship Troopers)
*Tyranids (Warhammer 40k)
*Zerg (Starcraft)

===Lovecraftian Aliens===
Aliens inspired by [[Yog-Sotothery|HP Lovecraft's work]]. Tend to have very abstract and non-humanoid designs, with tentacles being a common recurring trait. Mostly portrayed as villainous, and if they aren't then they are neutral entities who don't care about humans for the same reason we don't really care about beetles.

* Mi-Go, Elder Things, Great Race of Yith (Cthulhu Mythos)

===Alien Animals===
Although most depictions of aliens in science fiction are intelligent creatures, realistically they would be far outnumbered by non-sapient aliens with the intelligence of animals. Indeed, seeing as it took billions of years for Earth to evolve intelligent life, it is likely that most planets with life in the universe wouldn't have any sapient organisms to create civillization. Still, seeing as this is kind of a boring truth, most science-fiction stories with "alien animals" in them have them exist mainly to be the native wildlife of an actually intelligent alien's home planet.

*Sandworms (Dune)
*Tribbles (Star Trek)

Kharadron Overlords

2020-11-01T17:29:22Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Kharadron Overlords|Logo=Kharadron-Overlords-Hero-1.jpg|Alliance=Order|Motto=Top hat, robotic monocle, curled mustache guns, and steam technology; the true essence of steampunk.}}
{{topquote|With a crew of drunken pilots, we're the only airship pirates! We're full of hot air and we're starting to rise. We're the terror of the skies, but a danger to ourselves!|Airship Pirate by Abney Park}}
{{topquote|I chose something different, I chose the impossible. I chose Rapture!| Andrew Ryan}}
A brand new race for [[Age of Sigmar]], the '''Kharadron Overlords''' are the <strike>[[Squats|Squats]]</strike> [[Dwarfs (Warhammer Fantasy)|Dwarfs]] (duardin for lawyerspeakers) who survived the Age of Chaos on [[Chamon]] by going straight into the sky. Powered by Aether-gold (meaning valuable gas and adding yet another meaning to the word gold in the Khazalid lexicon) their technology is straight lifted from Jules Verne's works, mainly Captain Nemo's. Their only special character wears a TOP HAT, nuff said.
==Origins and History==

===Age of Myth===
The origins of the Kharadron date back far in the Age of Myth in the realm of Chamon. During this time they were regular surface dwelling Duardin who built great mountain-side empires and amazing works of craftmanship and technology under the watchful tutelege of the Grungi, the Duardin Smith god. Grungi stewarted the Duardin of Chamon for centuries, imparting his knowlege on the fleging empires of Duardin, Human and Aelf. He even helped in reforging the landmasses of the centre of Chamon through both arcane and technological methods into perfect geometric shapes, from which great quantities of precious metals could be mined. However eventually Grungi departed his people for Azyr as part of his oath of workmanship he still owed to Sigmar, while also wanting his people to strive on their own behalf without his guidance. And strive they did, for the civilizations of the Chamon thrived fueled through bontiful resources and the usage of the Chamonite realmstone. Resulting in empires built of metal sprining up over the realm. It was also during this time that the Duardin first became aware of the substance known as Ether-Gold, and how it could be harnessed to create and power many wonderous machines. The Duardin subsequently started building small skyfaring minining installations to begin harvesting this resource.

However this was not to last. Tzeench desiring Chamon more than any other Chaos god, concocted a scheme to breach the realm. Luring a massive godbeast know as the Lode-Griffon from the aetheric void, the beast settled right in the centre-heartlands of Chamon. This alone was a cause for concern, but it was found the creature emitted powerful magnetic distortions that altered the landscape around it (subsequently leading to the creation of what is now today the Spiral Crux). Desperate to be rid of the beast the various empires of Chamons centre lands banded together to enanct a great ritual to kill the beast by turning it to solid gold. While the ritual at first seemed like a success, transmogrifying the god-beast and killing it. Unbenowst to those working the ritual, agents of Tzeench sabataged the ritual at its height causing the spell to backfire and creating a massive portal to Tzeentch's domain in the sky above the great statue of the Load-Griffon spewing forth endless waves of demons upon the land.

With this act the invasion of Chamon had truely begun and the Age of Myth coming to an end.

===Age of Chaos===
The Kharadron Overlords were born with the fall of the last of the Mountain Kingdoms. The old Khazalid mountain empires being overrun one by one by Tzeentch's endless hordes. Those that survived realized that trying to defend their holdouts was futile as they were hopelessly outnumbered and their allies already besieged in other realms. With little options remaining they fled to the small skyforts and outposts that floated around, hiding in the clouds. Realizing that to maintain these new holdouts they would require greater amounts of Aether-Gold, as they had limited access to the Chamonite realmstone on the ground or even just most resources in general. It was at this time that the first true mass-scale harvesting of magical substance took place. During this time, their society grew but resources in that limited space ran scarce. They were forced to mine the limited aether-gold veins as other sky-ports and thus fought against each other for them. This marked the beginning of the Time of Reaving, where the Kharadron almost plunged in a civil war. In order to avoid this, the nascent sky-ports (also known as Baraks) decided to convene a meeting on the floating island of Madralta. In this Conference of Madralta, the Kharadron Overlords agreed finally on nine artycles (yeah, no joke, Olde Englische Butcherede) and a boatload of amendments and footnotes to those artycles. These would become the Kharadron Code. Or the Code. ("Really more of a guideline.") And thus their society would be shaped forever into what was to become. The Code acted like a set of laws, a constitution, and a set of guidelines: governance both of the ports and ships, how to trade, when to fight and retreat. All guided on the increase of the personal wealth and profit of the Kharadron. Things like emotion and superstition were seen as detrimental, remnants of an old age that had almost brought them into extinction. The Kharadron wouldn't be ruled by gods nor kings despite them acknowledging the existence of both, but by wise and successful dwarfs who knew what to do

Following the stabiliztion of their new society the Khardron for the most part kept to themselves and rarely made expeditions to the ground. Except in cases of requirement such as resource gathering or trying to excavate their old duardin holds. Because of this and their well-defended positions the Kharadron endured better than many other civilizations during the age of chaos. With only a few holds truly being threantened during this time. It was also during this time that the veneration of Gods was generally abandoned. With good reason in alot of cases as for the most part none of the old pantheon was able to protect or guide them, not even their old god Grungi, not to mention their suffering was caused by the Chaos God Tzeentch and his followers. Grungi believed deeply in his followers making their own decisions and way in the world and did little to aid them during this time. Along with the fact his attention was required in the creation of the Stormcast Eternals. Grungi would later come to regret this inaction as it led to the deaths of many of his people that he could have prevented. But this is all too late for his former followers as now many Khardron want nothing to do with him. Instead turning their attention to both monetary and scientific concerns.

===Age of Sigmar===
Following Sigmar's initial crusades back into the realms and the pushing back of chaos in many territories the Kharadron have been pragmatic enough to support Sigmar's forces after they built cities in the liberated territories of the Mortal Realms while getting new and lucrative partnerships, who says duardin can't have common sense? While nominally independent they have been instrumental in expanding Sigmars growing empires and their vessals being essential in inter-city trade, with many cities having strong ties to neighbouring sky ports. The Kharadron have also seen fit following Sigmars tempest to branch out into other realms besides Chamon, seeking ever new Aether-gold deposits and new trading partners in the newly built free-cities. However, while the Khardron respect Sigmar and his contributions they still refuse to worship him and as a society the sky-lords hold fast to the their code and continue with their oath to never bow before gods again.
When Nagash’s Necroquake struck the realms, it majorly devastated the Kharadron Overlords. Two lesser Sky-Ports, Barak-Durmmaz and Barak-Kling were destroyed entirely, while even the major Sky Ports suffered major losses, with Barak-Nar losing a fifth of its navy while seven members of Barak-Zilfin's Admiral's Council were killed when a rogue Endless Spell caused a skyvessel to crash into the Halls of Endeavour. The most significant effect, however, was that the major shift in the winds (both magical and physical) of the realm caused veins of Aether-gold to be blown across the sky. With the largest Aether-gold streams monopolized by the major skyports now scattered, the Kharadron Code dictated that these veins could be claimed by rival skyports, resulting in a new gold rush the Kharadron came to call the Gorak-drek, or "Great Venture".

==Aether-gold==
One of the big differences between Kharadron and their ground-pounding cousins is aether-gold, and that goes beyond simply being a different kind of sought-after wealth. Aether-gold in its natural state is a lighter-than-air gas, "veins" of which form in clouds. It is colorless and invisible to magical detection, so it can only be reliably found by smell. Once found, it can be used as a potent power source, or distilled into a metal that retains its lighter-than-air properties, allowing for the construction of airships and floating cities. This makes it the most valuable resource in Kharadron civillization, akin to something like petroleum in our world. Most outsiders view it as a magical material, though the Kharadron shun such superstition and analyze it through a scientific lens.

Large veins of aether-gold have a nasty habit of attracting all sorts of sky-monsters. As such, the skyfleets that harvest this substance are just as much military organizations as they are businesses.

Also, aether-gold might be changing the Kharadron on a biological level. You know those armored environment suits all Kharadron wear? Those are needed in part to make the air palatable to their aether-gold addled lungs.

==The Code==
{{topquote|The Code is more what you’d call “guidelines” than actual rules.|Hector Barbossa}}

'''Artycle 1'''

*Point 1: Leaders shall be chosen by proof of skills. No title of nobility shall be granted by the Kharadron Overlords. Titles and ranks are earned by merit.

*Point 2: No endeavour should be undertaken if the outcome results in the loss for the sky-port.

*Point 5: If backed by either the majority or full vote of the Tommraad, a Krenkha grogna (Vote of No Confidence) can be called. The entire crew (or equivalent) must vote. A majority of ‘out’ results in the election of a replacement as appropriate.

*Point 7: The title of Lord-Magnate is given to any whose profit-reaping brings them into the top ten per cent of earners within the last wind cycle. The Lords Magnate are afforded first choice of fleets and will be amongst those considered to replace any fallen, decreased or incapacitated members of the Admiral Council.

-Amendment 12: In the event that the Admirals Council cannot come to a majority consensus regarding matters of commerce (as defined in Artycles 2 and 7 of the Code), then the Lord-Magnate with the largest contribution in aether-gold shares over the last wind cycle shall provide the deciding vote.

'''Artycle 2'''

*Point 1: An act that does not make profit or lead to eventual profit is not worth doing.

*Point 2: Admirals, Captains and Master Shareholders shall each receive two shares of a galkhron.

*Addendum Point 3: An Arkanaut shall recieve one share of a galkhron. Deductions from this share will be made for maintenance of skyvessels, aether-armour and aethermatic equipment, plus supply of borg and gorog.

*Point 26: If in the pursuit of duty, a captain encounters a threat that might impact the financial or physical well-being of their shareholders, they are expected to respond with all reasonable force. Any external entity that threatens the accumulation of profit should be subjected to immediate destruction.

-Footnote 21: Make fair use of all the gold in the sky.

-Sub-clause 12: During an active state of war immediate sanctions shall be imposed upon the enemies of the Kharadron Overlords, the severity of which is to be decided by the Geldraad. As long as the enemy draws breath, they shall be subject to a total trade embargo, and any officer of the fleet who attenpts to open negotiations with such a party shall be considered guilty of the highest treason and punished accordingly.

-Amendment 3, Footnote 16: Representatives of the [[Ossiarch Bonereapers|uzkulrik]] clearly cannot be considered subject to be second stipulation of Sub-clause 12 of Artycle 2, as they do not breathe.

'''Artycle 3'''

*Point 1: The profit margin must be evaluated before the deployment of sky-fleet assets.

*Point 2: Upkeep of a skyvessel is essential, even over Kharadron lives.

*Point 5: All hazkal brewed within a sky-port is subject to regular inspection, to be carried out by the Board of Brewmasters. Any guild-company found guilty of thinning their product with bilgewater, using inferior hops or failing to allow appropriate fermentation time shall be fined to the full extent that the Code permits, and its owners de-bearded and branded with the mark of the guzungrim.

-Amendment 21. Footnote 6: Brewing stations located within the high airs cannot be subject to point five of this artycle. In addition, the sale of inferior hazkal within foreign ports shall be permitted, because the umgi are content to drink any old swill.

'''Artycle 4'''

*Point 1: Every ship-hand is to obey orders without question.

*Point 5: In times of war, allies must be aided unless to do so would prove pointless. Waste no duardin blood on unguz throlt.

'''Artycle 5 ''':

* Point 6: All boarding actions must be authorised by the captain (or the highest ranking officer).

'''Artycle 6'''

*Point 2: On the high airs a vessel from any sky-port may seize airships deemed to be a piratecraft of taken by piracy and arrest the persons and confiscate all property on board. The Admirals Court of the sky-port which carried out the seizure may decide upon the penalties to be imposed. If the suspect vessel refused to adhere to the rule of law and surrender its cargo for inspection, the use of lethal force is acceptable in order to encourahe compliance.

-Amendment 10, Footnote 13: An Arkanaut Captain or Admiral has the right to recover salvage from the wreckage of any vessel destroyed upon the aether-tides of the Garaktormun. This shall not be considered an act of piracy as defined by Artycle 6, and all material recovered shall be considered the property of the recovering crew.

'''Artycle 7'''

*Point 1: In order to make a valid claim upon minerals or salvage one must first ensure that the object of said claim is not currently under claim. Newly discovered aether-gold deposits must be marked with angazuben before they can be considered the property of any sky-port. Once a claim is staked, it is illegal to harvest at the site without the owner's permission.

*Point 4
Subsection B: In the case of shipwrecks, a ship, its cargo, or other property can be claimed. The recoverer of another's ship or cargo after peril or loss upon the high airs is entitled to a reward commensurate with the value of the property so saved.

*Point 5: Any untended barrel of ale or strong liquor may be considered salvage.

-Sub-Amendment 327B: In Order to prevent the integrity of the Code against further frivolous and mendacious alterations that undermine the grand tradition of this constitution, no further sub-amendment regarding Artycle 7 shall be brought before the Geldraad.

'''Artycle 8'''

*Point 12: Guild representatives must be received and accorded all honours due their rank. Their skills are at the fleet's disposal.

-Section 3: Each wind cycle a Musterpress shall be held upon the Brynruf. This shall consist of six days of physical competition and rigorous examinations, the nature of which shall be decided individually by each sky-port's Admirals Council. Upon the culmination of the Musterpress, Admirals and Captains of the fleets shall have seven days in which to offer contracts of service to the contestants.

-Sub-Amendment 3F: In times of crisis - as decreed by the Geldraad - representatives from the Grundstok Corporation shall have first option upon all candidates chosen by Musterpress, and shall be allowed to buy out the contract of any Arkanaut at seven twelfths of its set price.

'''Artycle 9, Point 7''': Use of excessive firepower is permissible as long as the end justifies the means.

-Amendment 3: If a duardin obtains a properly signed and approved grudge-clause, they are given the Rune of Mark and considered exempt from any other statues of the Code. Any plunder seized during an act of vengeance must be taken to the Admiralty’s Court so that galkhron can be performed.

-Amendment 11: The Kharadron Code cannot be altered.

'''Artycle 45, Footnote 21, Amendment 8''' All sales are final<ref>https://www.warhammer-community.com/hammerhal-herald/#hammerhal-16</ref>.

'''Artycle 747''' ''Biannual Tempest's Eye Sky-Race Derby rules''<ref>https://www.warhammer-community.com/hammerhal-herald/#hammerhal-21</ref>.

Under Construction...

==Society==
[[File:Kharadron outofarmour.jpg|200px|thumb|right|War. War never changes.]]
[[File:Skyport life.jpg|400px|thumb|right|A typical street in the city of a skyport. [[How Imperial Life Is Worse Than You Can Imagine|Still not as grimdark as the one in the 40th millennium]]]]
Kharadron society is a <s>humanist</s> DWARFist plutocracy, where money is power, with a full-blown meritocracy as a system of social promotion. You go places by <s>being good</s> making [[Profit]]. Grudges are still a thing but they are only pursued if its actually beneficial and not detrimental to their society (which again is to avoid disgraces such as getting into wars with your former prime trade-partners for getting a shave and a misunderstanding, like in the War of the Beard). Grudges are added to the "Log of Grudges" and how they are filled depends on the port. Barak Nar's is almost untouched, as traditions such as this are against progress, but Barak Thryng's is heavily used.

Another characteristic of their society that was revealed over time is the their encouragement of technological development and scientific research, done in academia's at the sky-ports, a decision which has made the Kharadron arguably the most advanced race in the setting. If nothing else, it looks like Andrew Ryan's ideas are alive and well (if less harsh in execution) in the Age of Sigmar. However, unlike Rapture, where the denizens sought out a place to conduct their own individualist pursuits without any moral guidelines, the Kharadron's system of innovation and profit stemmed from their need to band together, adapt and survive during the Age of Chaos. Thus, their meritocratic system of operation combined with their pursuit of innovation and trade establishes a society where it is ensured that the most capable Dwarf is in charge of a job and equipped with the most up to date equipment, to make sure that their trade routes stay open and their sky ports stay airborne.

The Kharadron overlords live in skyports, massive air-fortresses teeming with countless vessels floating around and an unending flow of cash. Hundreds of trade-routs go and pass by these holds of the sky. Floating metropolises held aloft by the power of aether-gold, the Kharadron sky-ports are the dominant power in the skies of the Mortal Realms. Merchants and adventurers flock from afar to visit these technological hubs, for within their bustling dock districts can be found all manner of exotic goods and illicit secrets.
When they first rose from the mountains of Chamon and took to the clouds, the sky-ports of the Kharadron Overlords were floating fortresses, fashioned for survival and armed for war. While they still maintain a formidable array of firepower – as any foe foolish enough to stray within range of their skycannon batteries will attest – they have become much more than mere defensive strongholds. They are amongst the greatest centres of trade in the Mortal Realms, each home to many thousands of duardin and visited by representatives from all of the civilised nations.

The exact size and layout of a sky-port can vary greatly, but the majority are constructed as a series of concentric squares, with the vital administrative and governmental districts placed at the centre. All are bordered by vast and bustling dockyards, which are constant hives of activity. Most sky-ports refuse to allow any non-Kharadron beyond the docklands, and so these quarters are filled to the brim with humans, aelves and other races, whose every desire is catered to by enterprising traders. Bathed in the candescent glow of whaleen-oil lamps, the labyrinthine streets echo to the chattering chorus of a thousand different languages. Endrintrams and steam-gondolas provide access along the canalways that run through the sky-port; these function as sewers and water-pipe routes, but also dispose of waste by spilling it out of hatches to rain down on the lands below.

Above, the skies are choked with airships – not solely military models, but civilian skiffs, bulk haulers and yachts. In the busiest sky-ports, traders can sometimes be forced to wait in lane for several days in order to secure a berth. Barak-Zilfin in particular is known for its heavily congested airlanes. According to the Code, each Sky-port controls all airspace around its domicile within the span of three cannon shots. Beyond that, the expanse of the skies is known as the ‘high airs’, and is regarded as neutral territory. The borders of each sky-port are guarded by floating fortresses armed with intimidating arrays of cannons and swivel-guns, informally known as ‘Zunfar towers’, after the Admiral who pioneered their use.

When returning Frigates and their escort vessels make port, troupes of dirty, battle-scarred Arkanauts unload their latest acquisitions before heading deeper into the city to make the most of their temporary leave. Gambling halls, smoke- shrouded darak-dens and garish bawdyhouses all provide much- needed opportunities for Arkanauts to blow off steam. With fresh aether- gold shares burning a hole in their pocket and often only a few days or weeks to make use of, they waste no time getting drunk on cheap ale and heading to the card tables. This release of pent-up energy sometimes gets a little rough, at which point it is down to the Copperhats – a slightly derogatory name for the longshore marshals – to maintain order. These no-nonsense naval police, usually made up of veteran Grundstok Marines injured in the line of duty or neophyte Arkanaut recruits, go about their task methodically with billy clubs and fists.

On the day of Brynruf – when the sun shines gold over Chamon – the different Arkanaut Academies of every sky-port hold a six-day competition. Only the highest achievers are allowed into the Arkanaut Academies, the training facilities where airfleet veterans conduct military drills and teach aeronautical skills. On Musterpress days, Captains arrive to observe the drills, and they may choose to recruit new crew members by purchasing contracts, often to fill the places that have become available through death or injury. Those selected to join the Arkanaut Companies will endure any number of rites and rituals sacred to their new fleet, ship or both. Those passed over after three Musterpresses must instead settle for lesser positions, often on mining or fishing vessels or as dockworkers. However, due to the urgent mobilization following the events of the Necroquake, a new decree was amended into the Kharadron Code, giving the Grundstok Corps, the largest private military company across the sky ports, first pick of any new Musterpress recruits at half their original contract price.

Beyond the dock districts sprawl endless rows of warehouses, aether- factories and other industrial
zones. These sectors are home to the lesser-chartered guilds, and are populated by many thousands of labourers – those duardin who were passed over by the Musterpresses and thus denied a career in the sky-fleets. Despite the Kharadron’s undoubted technological mastery, their existence can be a difficult one. Packed together like tinned globfish in almshouses and workhalls, they toil daily for a relative pittance; although Kharadron society is proudly meritocratic, factory bosses have a vested interest in ensuring their downtrodden workers do not rise beyond their station.

While aether-gold can be processed without releasing polluting smoke, much of the Kharadron Overlords’ heavy industry utilises other, less refined chemicals and metals. Smog and acidic rain showers are common, despite the use of endrin- bellows and dispersal fans to clear the worst of the contamination. Some sky-ports suffer from this chemical blight more than others; Barak-Nar’s relentless industrial drive and Barak-Zon’s ever- expanding weapons industries have led to particularly heavy pollution, bringing with it diseases such as sky-miner’s consumption, ironscale and the dreaded glowlung. The Aether-Khemists Guild of Barak- Nar has dedicated an entire arm of its alchemical labs to uncovering cures for these epidemics using sub- dermal infusions of aether-gold, but thus far only the richest residents are able to afford such treatment. By contrast, Barak-Thryng’s refusal to utilise wasteful, non-traditional methods of generating power means that its skies are relatively clear.

The wealthiest individuals in the sky- port reside close to its thriving heart, in gated towers and floating manses held aloft by a steady flow of aether- gold. From here, the Lord-Magnates and master industrialists of the city quite literally look down upon those less fortunate. Lord-Magnate Kreg Folsson of Barak-Urbaz has constructed an obscenely luxurious endrinvilla right above the refinery in which he once worked as a beardling, so that every day he can see just how far he has come.

At the centre of a sky-port lies its nexus of government, typically located amidst a wondrous plaza district portraying the city’s proudest military and economic achievements. These grand old structures include the Hall of Endeavour in Barak- Zilfin, the Sunrise Citadel of Barak- Nar, Barak-Mhornar’s mysterious Shadowmark Repository and the Kazakluft of Barak-Thryng. Here the Admirals Council gathers, and the dual businesses of profit and war are debated. No more than a handful of outsiders have ever been granted access to these closely-guarded quarters, but they speak of vast
and imposing chambers echoing to the bellicose sounds of Kharadron politics, and populated by minor armies of runescribes and dignitaries.

Kharadron Overlords are a fairly loose confederacy but ultimately they all, up to a degree, pay heed to their 'ruling body: the Geldraad. The Geldraad doubles as a board of directors parliaments, with a grand total of nineteen seats adjudicated by port on a wealth basis. It is where the code's amendments and footnotes are added.

===Notable Skyports===
* '''Barak Nar''': The city of the first dawn. The mightiest of the skyports, having <strike>7</strike> 6 (They got hit hard by the Necroquake and lost one) delegates. Barak Nar is called many things, among them the city of progress. It's citizens are many scholars and scientists and they are very obsessed with innovation and knowledge. They aren't fond of wizards, mainly because they view science as the answer to everything and they view progress through technology better ([[Chaos_Dwarfs|surely not magic envy, since Dwarfs lack the ability to use magic, which can transcend the material world where technology is bound by it]]). Its commanders are famous for being considerate tacticians when needed and brash opportunists when it's the best occasion for it, the prime example of this duality being Brok Grungsson, the most successful <s>man</s> duardin of the city and its Lord Magnate.
* '''Barak Zilfin''': The second most powerful of the sky-ports at <strike>4</strike> 5 delegates (It's gained another since the necroquake). It's fleets are the farthest reaching and they are amongst the finest navigators.
* '''Barak Zon''': Oldest of the skyports. It's famous for being the most militaristic of the skyports and its military might have helped greatly in the earning of <strike>3</strike> 2 delegates in Geldraad. (They lost one)
* '''Barak Urbaz''': The shrewdest merchants, infamous for ruleslawyering, bargaining with them is more dangerous than fighing killer beasts. Found in the Chamon region of Ayadah, they are mostly fighting against the Loonking [[Skragrott]] and the millions of grots that infest the lands below. Currently they have <strike>2</strike> 1 delegate, although they are far more politically powerful than this implies and the majority of amendments to the Code come from their proposals.
* '''Barak Mhornar''': The city of shadow. The people of Barak Mhornar are very schewy in their interpretation of the Code, and are known to be scoundrels with very shady tactics and strategies. Have <strike>1</strike> 3 delegates. (They have greatly increased their wealth and are the first of the Six to have left Chamon for a diffrent realm.)
* '''Barak Thryng''': Originally from Karak Thain, these duardin were pushed out of their hold by the Hosts Duplicitous, and were only able to escape to the falling fortress thanks to the timely (and unintentional) efforts of a [[Gloomspite Gitz|slumbering Troggherd]] that was roused to anger thanks to the jabbering daemons of Tzeentch. Since joining the Kharadron, they have become staunch conservatives who are extremely anal about keeping with old duardin traditions and remembering their grudges, maybe even the closest thing you'll see to a religious Kharadron Barak. Basically old school dwarfs IN THE SKY! The weakest of The Six in terms of capital (the lowest port above them having more then triple their earnings), just 1 delegate and most likely because the other Baraks don't want to get a mark on their Log of Grudges, considering they just try to veto new amendments and footnotes.
* '''Barak Zhoff''': A Skyport that has gone missing. Possibly crashed, [[Chaos Dwarfs|possibly turned to Chaos.]] Nobody knows.
* '''Barak Khazzar''': An ill-fated Skyport that made the mistake of going on an expedition to a long-lost Karak, only for the [[Gloomspite Gitz]] that squatted in it to hijack their airships and use them to conquer their city. Now known as "Da Moon City" by its new inhabitants.

==Army Roster==
===Heroes===
*'''Arkanaut Admiral''': The commander of a Kharadron fleet. They are directly chosen by the ruling council of a Skyport as the best choice for whatever mission the Skyfleet is tasked with.
*'''Endrinmaster''': Elite engineers. Get access to a whole bunch of gadgets, like strength-enhancing harnesses, the "God's Eye" eye-laser, and dirigible suits to hang out with the Endrinriggers. Average fleet tends to have two, one garrisoned on the fleet's flagship and the other in a dirigible suit to freely travel between the other ships.
*'''Aether-Khemist''': In charge of locating and refining the Aether-Gold. Wield a tool called an Atmospheric Anatomizer, a multi-purpose tool capable of not just sucking up veins of Aether-Gold, but creating vacuums to suffocate enemies, firing noxious chemicals, and augmenting aether-powered weaponry.
*'''Aetheric Navigator''': The navigators of the fleets, who can control wind to increase the speed of ships and decrease the speed of enemy fliers, and also unbind spells somehow.

===Units===
*'''Arkanaut Company''': Your standard ship's crew, armed with pistol and cutlass.
*'''Skywardens''': Arkanaut [[Assault Marines]], but with balloons instead of jetpacks.
*'''Endrinriggers''': Lesser engineers that use balloons to fly around a ship in order to repair it in the middle of flight. Of course, their rivet guns and chainsaws are equally good at killing as well as repairing.
*'''Grundstok Thunderers''': Elite mercenaries from the Grundstok Company. The Kharadron's marines in contrast to the Arkanaut sailors. Wield all sorts of exotic guns, and also have robot attack birds because why not.

===Airships===
*'''Arkanaut Frigate''': The most common ship in the sky-fleets. Most commonly a warship, but its versatile design also allows it to act in cargo transport or small-scale aether-gold mining operations.
*'''Arkanaut Ironclad''': The largest ship commonly seen in battle. Typically the Admiral's flagship.
*'''Grundstok Gunhauler''': Small, two-man escort boats piloted by mercenaries from the Grundcorp. Hired to protect the sky-fleets, and they take this job seriously enough to even act as dwarfen shields. Essentially Dawi Land Speeders.

==Notable characters==
* '''Brokk Grungsson''': Lord Magnate of Barak Nar. Simply put Brokk is THE <s>MAN</s> DUARDIN. Born to a failed arkanaut candidate who worked on the docks, Brokk grew up hearing the stories of the sky-fleet's heroes and swore that he'd be one of them (both for him and his father). Since those days he's been driving himself to new heights and adventures with the motto (part of the code actually), "To the victor the spoils." He's not the most powerful Duardin of Barak Nar, as the Lord Magnate is actually beneath the council of ruling admirals but he's quite young by his race's standards and he's closing the gap.
* '''Admiral Nerlriksson''': Badass commander from Barak Zon who delivered massive amounts of asswhooping and instated their tradition of being military badasses.
* '''Grand Admiral Horgrumm Brand''': Legendary Barak Nar commander who played a massive part in the survival of the Kharadron during their early days in the Age of Chaos. Led the combined fleet made up of the major sky ports against the flying hordes of Tzeentch in the Battle of the First Coalition. The outnumbered fleet decided to finally make a stand in the Straits of Helsilver in the Realm of Metal, and divided their flotilla into smaller detachments to outmaneuver and whittle down the numerically superior foe piecemeal. Brand goes the way of Lord Nelson at the Battle of Trafalgar, masterminding a crucial victory that ensures the future survival of the Kharadron, but at the cost of his own life. His tactics and legacy, however, live on and helped form the basis of Kharadron naval strategy that is still practiced today.
*'''Brokrin Ullissonn''': A down on his luck Captain of the Ironclad ''Iron Dragon''.
* '''Jakkob Bugmansson XI''': Brewmaster-General and self proclaimed descendant of [[Josef Bugman]] (who has become something of a mythical figure in the Mortal Realms). Many of his rivals doubt this claim, but it hasn't stopped him from being widely regarded as the best Brewmaster of the Kharadron Overlords.

==Soulbound==
In [[Age of Sigmar Roleplay]], Kharadron become Soulbound for pretty much the usual reasons that they do anything: pragmatism and profit. Often the least religious of the Soulbound (unless they came from Barak-Thryng), they still regard the rite of Binding as a lifelong unbreakable contract that promises great rewards with commiserate risks... which is just the way that Kharadron like it. Considering that becoming a Soulbound grants a greatly extended lifespan, many opportunities for profit and glory, and the exceedingly useful esoteric bonus of becoming immune to the terrible paranoia that aether-gold can cause when exposed to the skin... well, you can see their point, right? That said, Kharadron hold neither prejudice against nor inherent respect for their Soulbound; they might ask if the Rite of Binding was worth it, but in general, a Kharadron Soulbound has to earn respect through their deeds, just like any normal Kharadron. Indeed, it may be deemed that Soulbound Kharadron should be held to even higher standards than normal for their opportunity and risk is greater than others.

In the corebook, Kharadron have access to three Archetypes; '''Aether-Khemist''' (implied to be the most common of the Kharadron Soulbound, because, seriously, that immunity to aether-gold madness comes in super-fucking-handy in their line of work), '''Endrinmaster''' and '''Skyrigger'''.

==Recommended Music When Playing Kharadron==
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRU1AJsXN1g Ride of the Valkyries]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pTw224WZw8 High Above the Land]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmo0bMoony8 Flying Battery Zone]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeFKs0xalf4 Sky Battalion]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL7i2_P_iLE Storm Owl]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibV_D0nX2FU Attack of the Airships]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZrh6eooyrg Airship Pirates]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9a00utzBU5Y&t=0s Sky Pirates - Fighting Evil is Cool!]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbQyqX9iu_M Red Wings of Baron]
Honestly, just about ''any'' airship style theme would fit the Kharadron perfectly.

==See Also==
*[[Age of Sigmar/Tactics/Edition 1.1/Kharadron Overlords|Tactics/Kharadron Overlords]]

{{Template:Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Dwarfs]]

Gorkamorka (Deity)

2020-10-11T18:06:28Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{AoS-Stub}}
{{Topquote|Without destruction, there is no creation.|Oda Nobunaga}}
''This article is about the [[Age of Sigmar]] deity. For the game, see [[Gorkamorka]]''

Gorkamorka is the supreme deity of the Grand Alliance: Destruction. He has two heads, [[Gork]] and [[Mork]], and he splits into these two halves to fight himself whenever the forces of Destruction aren't united. Which is pretty much always.

==History==
The earliest known record of Gorkamorka was when [[Sigmar]] and [[Dracothion]] first found him trapped underneath a living avalanche in Ghur. Upon being released, Gorkamorka was equally pleased to be free and pissed off that he needed someone else to save him, causing him to knock out Dracothion with one punch and attack Sigmar. The duel between him and Sigmar lasted for twelve days, until both sides grew tired, looked over the devastation of their battle and laughed. Realising he had finally met someone who wasn't just a good fight but loved battle just as much as him, Gorkamorka quickly befriended Sigmar and joined his pantheon. Thus, while Sigmar worked on creating civilisation, Gorkamorka would hunt the colossal Godbeasts of the realms and keep the Orruks, Grots and Ogors from causing too much trouble.

Gorkamorka's greatest ally was the [[Godbeast]] [[Sons of Behemat|Behemat]], who was his loyal champion mainly due to Gorkamorka being the only being even bigger than him. As Tzeentch whispered to Gorkamorka in order to convince him he was Sigmar's pawn, Gorkamorka grew envious of his subordinate's relative freedom, and took out his frustrations by challenging Behemat to match his feats. Behemat actually managed to succeed at all of these challenges (albeit sometimes by accident) until he was asked to re-enact Gorkamorka's duel with Sigmar, which resulted in Behemat being knocked unconscious for a few milennia.

Gorkamorka eventually grew bored and frustrated by the order that Sigmar imposed, and declared the Great Waaagh!, where he and his followers rampaged across the Mortal Realms until they reached its end (how this would work given that the Mortal Realms are separate planes which each have their own edge isn't explained), upon which he turned around to do it all over again. The Waaagh! only stopped when it fell into infighting, causing Gorkamorka to divide back into Gork and Mork.

During the Age of Chaos, Gorkamorka fought alongside Sigmar once more in the Battle of Burning Skies in Aqshy. This is the last anybody has ever seen of him.

During the Realmgate Wars, Sigmar sent a group of [[Stormcast Eternals]] to search for him in hopes of rekindling the former alliance, but they found no sign. However, [[Gordrakk]], perhaps the closest being there is to a mortal avatar of Gorkamorka, has made it very clear that he has no intent on rejoining the Pantheon of Order. Although he has made no physical appearance so far, Gorkamorka still directs the forces of Destruction through visions he grants to their shamans.

==Worship==
Each race of Destruction has their own separate interpretation of Gorkamorka, and most of them have their own priesthood with their own ways of communing with him.

*The closest thing the Ironjawz have to priests are the Warchanters, mystical pseudo-musicians who are said to constantly hear the twin heartbeats of Gork and Mork.
*The Bonesplitterz believe his spirit can be found in all great beasts, and can be harnessed through slaying them and taking their bones. Their Wurrgog Prophets are believed to be his mortal messengers even by other Orruk clans, though seeing as they are quite insane most of them don't have anything useful to say.
*The Moonclan Grots worship him through the Bad Moon, a grotesque planetoid that travels through the realms spreading darkness and madness wherever it goes. In addition, their Fungoid Cave-Shamans are believed to be able to communicate with Mork through ingesting copious amounts of mushrooms, causing them to be respected by all his worshippers and act as the closest thing Destruction has to grand strategists.
*The Spiderfang Grots worship the Spider-God, who they claim was an ordinary spider that gained Gorkamorka's power when it bit him on the toe. They also revere the Bad Moon, albeit they believe its the Spider God's eggsack that will one day hatch to release hordes of spiders all across the realms. Their priesthood are the Webspinner Shamans, who commune with the Arachnarok Spiders they believe to be the Spider-God's mortal avatars.
*The Gitmob Grots are said to see his face in the blazing light of Hysh. Although being an effectively discontinued faction means their religion is not really elaborated on, its quite likely they worship him as the Evil Sun.
*The Gutbusters worship him as the Gulping God. According to their myths, their race was created from Gorkamorka's saliva, and so they believe that their purpose is to be his instrument to consume the realms. Their priesthood are the Butchers and Slaughtermasters, who interpret his will through gory rituals involving entrails.
*The Beastclaw Raiders worship him as the Hungering Predator, a god of winter and the hunt. Their priesthood are the Huskard Torrs, mysterious figures believed to have their souls frozen by the Everwinter. As part of their beliefs, the BCR will leave their dead brothers (and the occasional hogtied prisoner) behind to be consumed by the Everwinter as an offering.
*The Firebellies worship him as the Sun-Eater, who ate the Red Sun of Ghur and from it gained the power to breathe fire, creating the Realm of Aqshy in the process.
*Gargants don’t really have priests, and most are barely even literate enough to understand religious beliefs at all. The Sons of Behemat however, maintain that Gorkamorka is a titanic sized stomping foot, with their forebearer Behemat serving as his chosen champion. When he’s split into Gork and Mork, the Gargants will say one is “stompy yet kicky”, while the other is “kicky yet stompy”.

{{AoS-Gods}}

[[Category:40k and Fantasy Gods]]
[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Orcs & Goblins]]

Sons of Behemat

2020-10-05T06:55:06Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{AoS-Stub}}
{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Sons of Behemat|Logo=Kraken-eater.jpg|Alliance=Destruction|Motto=Big and friendly these giants are not...}}

{{Topquote|Be good, Little One. Or the Gargants will come to get you. Little girls who steal get chomped by the Kraken-eater. Little boys who shout and cry get stomped on by the Warstomper. And those who try to hide from the Gargants get smashed by the Gatebreaker. Be good, Little One. Not that it would help.|Sons of Behemat teaser}}

{{Topquote|Freedom is being in charge of your own destruction.|Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan}}
The '''Sons of Behemat''' are an upcoming army for [[Age of Sigmar]] themed around the concept of [[Giant|giants]] (or gargants in copyright-speak). The offspring of the titular [[Godbeast]], gargants are forces of nature that terrify foes and (their few) friends alike. They are driven solely by their wanton need for inflicting mass carnage and getting absolutely shit-faced drunk while doing so. The latter of which allows other factions to actually acquire the services of the Sons of Behemat as living siege weapons.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4RyrcmRUNM&feature=share This is likely what a gargant invasion would look like.]

==History==
[[File:Behemat teaser.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Note that the [[Stormcast Eternals|Stormcast]] are literally immortal, yet they're still scared shitless by this absolute unit. Then again, Warham’s giants tend to stuff smaller foes in their trousers, so it's understandable]]

While the full story of the Sons of Behemat will presumably be revealed in their battletome, one can gather a crude understanding of their history from their minor appearances in previous books.

In the beginning, there was a titanic godbeast known as Ymnog, Grandfather of Gargants. Inside his stomach was born Behemat, who brewed a lake of moonshine in his father's guts, causing him to retch him into his mouth, where Behemat then broke his father’s teeth to escape. Behemat landed in Ghyran and became the progenitor of the gargant race. Countless deeds are attributed to Behemat by other Gargants, such as “creating“ the stunted duardin race by stomping on mankind, or eating all the meat off of the denizens of Shyish, causing their gaunt and ghastly appearance. It is said the gargants were created from his vomit after he went on a binge-eating spree that caused the extinction of several species of cattle. Exhausted by this act, he lied down and took a millenia-long nap in the region known as the Harmonis Veldt. While he was asleep, his body would become covered by earth; his skull becoming the mountain of Tor Crania, his mouth becoming the Titansmawr (from which more gargants would occasionally crawl out), the Sweatswamp forming around the location of his left armpit, and so on. This pretty much makes him the [[Mythology#Norse_Mythology|Ymir]] of the Mortal Realms.

For a long time the Sons of Behemat reigned over the Harmonis Veldt. Although primitive, they were ultimately a race of noble savages who were allied to the cause of Order, even helping Sigmar himself build massive defenses and bastions. This would not last, as with every single Age of Sigmar backstory you eventually reach the point where the Age of Chaos happens and everything gets ruined. The Harmonis Veldt was invaded by the forces of Nurgle, who corrupted it into what is now known as the Scabrous Sprawl. Unable to defend their homeland, the gargants were forced into hiding, where they quickly evolved to become violent, territorial creatures to protect their lands from invaders. These new degenerated gargants eventually found they had much in common with the followers of Gorkamorka, resulting in them often forming alliances, especially with the Gloomspite Gitz who can offer them barrels of fungus beer and nice dark and damp places to recover from their hangovers.
Being as massive as they are, as well as the result of generations of inbreeding, they are very likely in constant pain and suffering from a number of other defects, physical and mental. So it makes sense for them to seek out a substance to dampen/drown out the pain.

As an aside, in the [[Ogor Mawtribes]] battletome mention is made of the Sky Titans, a race of intelligent giants whose flying castles were destroyed by Gorkamorka for the crime of using their cannons to shoot down a school of megalofin (giant sky-sharks) he wanted to hunt. The ruins of these sky-castles were said to have landed in the Scabrous Sprawl. The implication is that just like in Warhammer Fantasy, the gargants are nothing but the descendants of the Sky Titans who have devolved into a primitive state. Which is pretty fucked up if true, because that means these guys pretty much had their civillization destroyed and degenerated into savages twice over.

During the Realmgate Wars, as part of Archaon's plan to corrupt the godbeasts to Chaos, he sent the forces of Nurgle and the Skaven to corrupt Behemat. The plan was for the Skaven to drill into his bones to awaken him, the Maggotkin to corrupt him with Nurgle's taint, and for him to be persuaded to join Archaon's side by being told half-truths about Sigmar killing his father Ymnog. Although the Stormcast Eternals attempted to stop this, they were too late and were forced to invoke the power of the Great Bolts, the same weapon Sigmar used to kill Ymnog, to slay Behemat. According to the Sylvaneth battletome, many of the gargants, feeling lost after witnessing the death of their god-progenitor, were taken in as allies by the Oakenbrow Sylvaneth.

Since the death of Behemat, his Sons have been noted to have been getting bigger, more violent and more intelligent, leading to the evolution of so-called "Mega-Gargants". It seems likely that one day, a new world-titan will emerge...

==Religion==
Yes, even these guys have some form of faith.

Like all Destruction factions, the Sons of Behemat worship [[Gorkamorka (Deity)|Gorkamorka]], whom they believe is a massive foot that crushes cities with ease. They also believe that Behemat was the Champion of Gorkamorka and now strive to fill the gap left by their forefather’s death.

==Types of Gargants==
Each “species” of Gargant has a very fairy tale like name, likely given to them by the terrified victims of their rampages.

*'''Mancrusher''': The same model as the Aleguzzler/Chaos Gargant, but treated as its own thing. The OG Giant is now the most commonly seen of the Gargant tribes, as well as the shortest (keep in mind that a ‘short’ Gargant can still punt a Sigmarine like a football).

*'''Kraken-eater''': A sea faring variety known for their greed and territorial natures. They like lugging around ship cannons as to use blunt instruments as well as colossal fishing nets stuffed full of hapless victims and fish. Lots of fish.

*'''Warstomper''': More like a bigger Mancrusher, but with greater emphasis on fighting and causing mass destruction.

*'''Gatebreaker''': These big boys have an obsession with tearing down strongholds, and then using the wreckage as armor and weapons.

*'''Bonegrinder''': Forge World model not outright confirmed to be part of the allegiance, but likely going to be. The biggest and rarest kind, easily twice the height of a common Mancrusher and still head-and-shoulders above the newer Mega-Gargants. Possessed of a simple bully mentality, they enjoy intimidating those smaller than them (meaning everyone) into serving them hand and foot. It can’t be understated just how HUGE these things are, a casual stroll for a Bonegrinder can level towns, and they’ll wrestle with dragons when they’re bored. Their size and proclivity towards bossing others makes them perfect leaders for Gargant tribes...if it weren’t for their rarity and supreme levels of clumsiness.

==Named Gargants==
*'''King Brodd''': Introduced in the Godbeasts book as the “Last True Son of Behemat”, he is the absurdly strong and decently intelligent master of the Gargant tribes native to the Scabrous Sprawl. He claims to have crawled out of the Titansmawr fully grown and declared himself leader. After pulverizing all belligerent challengers, he has cemented his rule and stated his ambition to reclaim his ancestral home of Tor Crania from the vile Cygors and other [[Beasts of Chaos]] that toppled it. Brodd never goes anywhere without two things; a crown made from the skull of a mouldragon he killed bare-handed, and a massive granite pillar that serves as his personal weapon and symbol of his right to lead the Sons of Behemat. During the Realmgate Wars, Brodd was caught up in a massive explosion which slew Stormcast, Gargants, and Beastmen, for miles. Though it wasn’t clear if he actually died or not.
*'''Bundo Whalebiter''': Mercenary Kraken-eater who can ally with the forces of Order. The Aelven artifact that hangs from his ear increases his intellect to where he can use ancient strategies like “patience”, making him deceptively cunning, for a Gargant.
*'''One-Eyed Grunnok''': Mercenary Warstomper who can ally with the hordes of Chaos. Grunnok has a crude understanding of how important regiments and formations are in combat, so he specializes in disrupting said ranks with earth shaking stomps and jumps.
*'''Big Drogg Fort-Kicka''': Mercenary Gatebreaker who can ally with the processions of Death. His oral hygiene is so atrocious that his rotten breath has become its own form of attack, wiping out hordes of enemies that dare to stray too close to him.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:BoL0PjL5oXMduBJl.jpg|The Kraken-eater Mega-Gargant, or Bundo Whalebiter, the first confirmed Gargant special-character.
</gallery>

{{Template:Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]

Godbeast

2020-10-02T11:22:19Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B: This concept has shown up enough that it deserves its own page

{{stub}}
Godbeasts are gigantic monsters from the [[Age of Sigmar]] setting. These colossal beasts are typically the progenitors of the various breeds of monsters that plague the mortal realms. Most of them died in the Age of Myth, being slain by [[Sigmar]], [[Nagash]] or [[Gorkamorka (Deity)|Gorkamorka]], but several of them have survived into the Age of Sigmar, some of which have even fallen to Chaos.

==Notable Godbeasts==

===[[Sons of Behemat|Behemat]]===
The Father of Gargants. Archaon planned to corrupt him to Chaos, forcing the [[Stormcast Eternals]] to kill him.

===[[Dracothion]]===
Progenitor of the Stardrakes and Dracoths, the star-dragon Dracothion is one of the closest allies of the Pantheon of Order, being the one who guided both Sigmar and the [[Lizardmen|Seraphon]] to the Mortal Realms.

===Skalok the Skull Host of Khorne===
The only godbeast with an actual (albeit Forge World) tabletop model, Skalok was a mighty dragon slain by the Khornate lord Vorgaroth the Scarred. Impressed by Skalok's might, Khorne resurrected her as his servant and forced her to work together with Vorgaroth by cursing them so that if one was ever slain, the other will be destroyed by Khorne's fury as well.

===[[Spider-god|The Spider God]]===
An arachnid godbeast worshipped by the Spiderfang Grot tribes. Believed to have been an ordinary spider that bit Gorkamorka on the foot and absorbed his power.

===Vulcatrix===
The Ur-Salamander and mother of the Magmadroths, Vulcatrix died in battle against the Duardin god [[Grimnir]].

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]

Sons of Behemat

2020-09-25T07:32:50Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{AoS-Stub}}
{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Sons of Behemat|Logo=Kraken-eater.jpg|Alliance=Destruction|Motto=Big and friendly these giants are not...}}

{{Topquote|Be good, Little One. Or the Gargants will come to get you. Little girls who steal get chomped by the Kraken-eater. Little boys who shout and cry get stomped on by the Warstomper. And those who try to hide from the Gargants get smashed by the Gatebreaker. Be good, Little One. Not that it would help.|Sons of Behemat teaser}}

{{Topquote|Freedom is being in charge of your own destruction.|Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan}}
The '''Sons of Behemat''' are an upcoming army for [[Age of Sigmar]] themed around the concept of [[Giant|giants]] (or gargants in copyright-speak). The offspring of the titular Godbeast, gargants are forces of nature that terrify foes and (their few) friends alike. They are driven solely by their wanton need for inflicting mass carnage and getting absolutely shit-faced drunk while doing so. The latter of which allows other factions to actually acquire the services of the Sons of Behemat as living siege weapons.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4RyrcmRUNM&feature=share This is likely what a gargant invasion would look like.]

==History==
[[File:Behemat teaser.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Note that the [[Stormcast Eternals|Stormcast]] are literally immortal, yet they're still scared shitless by this absolute unit. Then again, Warham’s giants tend to stuff smaller foes in their trousers, so it's understandable]]

While the full story of the Sons of Behemat will presumably be revealed in their battletome, one can gather a crude understanding of their history from their minor appearances in previous books.

In the beginning, there was a titanic godbeast known as Ymnog, Grandfather of Gargants. Inside his stomach was born Behemat, who brewed a lake of moonshine in his father's guts, causing him to retch him into his mouth, where Behemat then broke his fathers teeth to escape. Behemat lived in Ghyran and became the progenitor of the gargant race. Countless deeds are attributed to Behemat by other Gargants, such as “creating“ the stunted duardin race by stomping on mankind, or eating all the meat off of the denizens of Shyish, causing their gaunt and ghastly appearance. It is said the gargants were created from his vomit after he went on a binge-eating spree that caused the extinction of several species of cattle. Exhausted by this act, he lied down and took a millenia-long nap in the region known as the Harmonis Veldt. While he was asleep, his body would become covered by earth; his skull becoming the mountain of Tor Crania, his mouth becoming the Titansmawr (from which more gargants would occasionally crawl out), the Sweatswamp forming around the location of his left armpit, and so on. This pretty much makes him the [[Mythology#Norse_Mythology|Ymir]] of the Mortal Realms.

For a long time the Sons of Behemat reigned over the Harmonis Veldt. Although primitive, they were ultimately a race of noble savages who were allied to the cause of Order, even helping Sigmar himself build massive defenses and bastions. This would not last, as with every single Age of Sigmar backstory you eventually reach the point where the Age of Chaos happens and everything gets ruined. The Harmonis Veldt was invaded by the forces of Nurgle, who corrupted it into what is now known as the Scabrous Sprawl. Unable to defend their homeland, the gargants were forced into hiding, where they quickly evolved to become violent, territorial creatures to protect their lands from invaders. These new degenerated gargants eventually found they had much in common with the followers of Gorkamorka, resulting in them often forming alliances, especially with the Gloomspite Gitz who can offer them barrels of fungus beer and nice dark and damp places to recover from their hangovers.
Being as massive as they are, as well as the result of generations of inbreeding, they are very likely in constant pain and suffering from a number of other defects, physical and mental. So it makes sense for them to seek out a substance to dampen/drown out the pain.

As an aside, in the [[Ogor Mawtribes]] battletome mention is made of the Sky Titans, a race of intelligent giants whose flying castles were destroyed by Gorkamorka for the crime of using their cannons to shoot down a school of megalofin (giant sky-sharks) he wanted to hunt. The ruins of these sky-castles were said to have landed in the Scabrous Sprawl. The implication is that just like in Warhammer Fantasy, the gargants are nothing but the descendants of the Sky Titans who have devolved into a primitive state. Which is pretty fucked up if true, because that means these guys pretty much had their civillization destroyed and degenerated into savages twice over.

During the Realmgate Wars, as part of Archaon's plan to corrupt the godbeasts to Chaos, he sent the forces of Nurgle and the Skaven to corrupt Behemat. The plan was for the Skaven to drill into his bones to awaken him, the Maggotkin to corrupt him with Nurgle's taint, and for him to be persuaded to join Archaon's side by being told half-truths about Sigmar killing his father Ymnog. Although the Stormcast Eternals attempted to stop this, they were too late and were forced to invoke the power of the Great Bolts, the same weapon Sigmar used to kill Ymnog, to slay Behemat. According to the Sylvaneth battletome, many of the gargants, feeling lost after witnessing the death of their god-progenitor, were taken in as allies by the Oakenbrow Sylvaneth.

Since the death of Behemat, his Sons have been noted to have been getting bigger, more violent and more intelligent, leading to the evolution of so-called "Mega-Gargants". It seems likely that one day, a new world-titan will emerge...

==Religion==
Yes, even these guys have some form of faith.

Like all Destruction factions, the Sons of Behemat worship [[Gorkamorka (Deity)|Gorkamorka]], whom they believe is a massive foot that crushes cities with ease. They also believe that Behemat was the Champion of Gorkamorka and now strive to fill the gap left by their forefather’s death.

==Types of Gargants==
Each “species” of Gargant has a very fairy tale like name, likely given to them by the terrified victims of their rampages.

*'''Mancrusher''': The same model as the Aleguzzler/Chaos Gargant, but treated as its own thing. The OG Giant is now the most commonly seen of the Gargant tribes, as well as the shortest (keep in mind that a ‘short’ Gargant can still punt a Steam Tank like a football).

*'''Kraken-eater''': A sea faring variety who usually drags around colossal fishing nets stuffed full of hapless victims and fish. Lots of fish. They also like lugging around ship cannons as blunt instruments.

*'''Warstomper''': More like a bigger Mancrusher, but with greater emphasis on fighting and causing mass destruction.

*'''Gatebreaker''': These big boys have an obsession with tearing down strongholds, and then using the wreckage as armor and weapons.

*'''Bonegrinder''': Forge World model not outright confirmed to be part of the allegiance, but likely going to be. The biggest and rarest kind, easily twice the height of a common Mancrusher and still head-and-shoulders above the newer Mega-Gargants. Possessed of a simple bully mentality, they enjoy intimidating those smaller than them (meaning everyone) into serving them hand and foot. It can’t be understated just how HUGE these things are, a casual stroll for a Bonegrinder can level towns, and they’ll wrestle with dragons when they’re bored. Their size and proclivity towards bossing others makes them perfect leaders for Gargant tribes...if it weren’t for their rarity and supreme levels of clumsiness.

==Named Gargants==
*'''King Brodd''': Introduced in the Godbeasts book as the “Last True Son of Behemat”, he is the absurdly strong and decently intelligent master of the Gargant tribes native to the Scabrous Sprawl. He claims to have crawled out of the Titansmawr fully grown and declared himself leader. After pulverizing all belligerent challengers, he has cemented his rule and stated his ambition to reclaim his ancestral home of Tor Crania from the vile Cygors and other [[Beasts of Chaos]] that toppled it. Brodd never goes anywhere without two things; a crown made from the skull of a mouldragon he killed bare-handed, and a massive granite pillar that serves as his personal weapon and symbol of his right to lead the Sons of Behemat. During the Realmgate Wars, Brodd was caught up in a massive explosion which slew Stormcast, Gargants, and Beastmen, for miles. Though it wasn’t clear if he actually died or not.
*'''Bundo Whalebiter''': A surprisingly crafty Kraken-eater who can ally with the forces of Order and Destruction. The Aelven artifact that hangs from his ear increases his intellect to where he can use ancient strategies like “patience”.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:BoL0PjL5oXMduBJl.jpg|The Kraken-eater Mega-Gargant, or Bundo Whalebiter, the first confirmed Gargant special-character.
</gallery>

{{Template:Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]

Slaangor

2020-09-09T17:37:33Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{stub}}
[[File:Oldhammer Beastmen.png|thumb|right|350px|Either tentacles are his fetish or Medusa is his waifu. Either way, he wants you to know it before you die.]]

'''Slaangors''', as their name suggests, are [[Beastmen]] in [[Warhammer Fantasy]], [[Warhammer 40000]], or [[Age of Sigmar]] who have dedicated themselves solely to the worship of [[Slaanesh]] and been rewarded with his/her Mark in the process. Like the other "Marked Gors" units, they are an ancient concept, dating all the way back to when Beastmen were introduced in "The Lost and the Damned", the second book of the [[Realms of Chaos]] duology.

==Overview==

===WFB===
In Realms of Chaos, it is said that a Slaangor typically has white (or near-white) fur and pale or pastel skins, as well as frequently having green and/or saucer-like eyes reminiscent of a [[Daemonette]]. They are also most likely to resemble ''Bovigors'', with the heads and horns of cattle, ala [[minotaur]]s, but theoretically they could have the form any animal associated with sex and sensuality; deer (stags), horses, cats, rabbits, foxes, and snakes would all make logical alternatives.

Old Slaangor models give them one breast and one flat chest like current Daemonettes, albeit with the breast uncovered, and notably one has the head of a unicorn while another had the head of a fish. Many of them are wearing garters or thigh-highs.

For most of WFB history they didn't really have their own stats, and existed as models (until they were squatted and replaced with generics for all varieties) that represented what Marks your forces had.

In the original Realms of Chaos duology, when introduced in "The Lost and the Damned", the only mechanical bonus for being a Slaangor was '''Hatred''' (Worshippers of Khorne) and gaining Slaanesh spells of your level as bonus freebies if you were a Slaangor Shaman.

In the Beasts of Chaos armybook, the only Slaangors were Bestigors, chariots (ridden by Bestigors) and Characters, since only they could take the Mark of Slaanesh, presumably because they were the only ones to prove themselves. In all cases the Mark made whoever had it Immune to Psychology and given Beastmen Leadership (and the items it unlocked), that wasn't bad.

Variety was gutted when Chaos was split into three armies and [[Phil Kelly|somebody]] took Marks away from the Beastmen, then retconned the fluff to say that Beastmen were never given and could never have Marks.

===40k===
Beastmen mutations are not automatically Chaos in 40k, but at the same time Beastmen aren't a dominant and uncontrollable force so most Slaangor are just considered Chaos Mutants and lumped in with human Cultists. Way back in the day, when Chapters were first being created and released, each one would get a list of how many Beastmen slaves they had access to; obviously any Chapter of [[Chaos Space Marines]] that was devoted to Slaanesh had Slaangors.

===AoS===
HA! [[Tzaangor]] are the stars of the AoS Beastmen. Slaanesh barely exists in the setting, mostly in the form of his servants who are fighting to save his <strike>magnificent</strike> ass or kick the shit out of each other trying to decide who will replace him. Beastmen themselves, other than the Tzaangor, have largely abandoned the Chaos Gods as a concept and worship exactly that; Chaos as a concept.

That said, we DO have lore on some Slaaneshi Beastmen; they just aren't actual Slaangors. This is probably because GW don't intend to give models of them anytime soon, but for all intents and purposes they are Slaangors, so we're calling them Slaangors. You don't like it, fuck off to the Lexicanum.

AoS Slaangor are tsundere for civilization, loving the shit out of the things that Beastmen ordinarily hate like soft luxuries and things of gentle beauty, and are overcome by massive waves of guilt and shame as soon as the novelty has worn off which they bury under even more frantic hedonism to avoid feeling anything but satisfaction despite the building wall of self-loathing. So basically they're the most realistic Slaanshi lore we've ever gotten.

They feast, fight, ferment and fuck until they're out of food, wimps to pick on, booze to drink, and holes/phalluses and have to find a new place to party, going full [[Noise Marine]] on the Brayhorns as they tear off with reckless abandon to destroy the defenders of whatever poor settlement they're swarming as quickly as possible so they can get to partying hard. These frenzies are called "Slakefrays", where they drink, rape (implied), eat, and kill fucking everything they can. Unlike most Beastmen they stick around when there's nothing left to kill, trying to squeeze every last bit of pleasure they can from whatever is around. The most prized things like gold and jewels are as likely to be melted down to decorate their horns as they are to be fucking eaten for the same reason rich assholes in real life eat gold leaf and diamond dust meat and candy (don't ask us, our money goes towards Citadel brand plastic crack). They wear the most exquisite fabrics, or decorate their bodies and horns with them. Baubles are hung and carried, magic runes and items kept for no other reason than to show off, and the Herdstones of the Slaangor are so ornate they may as well have been made by a civilized race of creatures with access to way too much gold (so <strike>Dwarfs</strike> Duardin).

Any gathering of sufficient size of AoS Slaangor is called a Depraved Drove, which is the name of their army type in the crunch.

The Direchasm starter box for [[Warhammer Underworlds]] appears to introduce a proper Slaangor, who in addition to the classic pale skin is differentiated from a normal Gor by his Daemonette-esque crab claw. And looking like he's dressed in leather bondage gear, of course.

* Gravenkin

A particular band of Beastmen that has swelled in numbers beyond reason, that topples the largest of civilizations with ease. Carving a path of destruction through Aqshy, they've gone on to such heights of depravity that they've been joined by [[Daemonette]] bands of [[Seekers of Slaanesh]] who think that the Beastmen know where Slaanesh has been hidden and are being drawn to him; in reality, the Gravenkin are just that insatiable that the Daemonettes can't comprehend it.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Oldhammer Slaangor.jpg|Some of these are just old generic Beastmen labeled as Slaanesh's, some were made as Slaangor. TITS not really hard to figure out which is which.
Image:Slaangor.jpg|Wait, you thought there'd be more official Slaangor minis? Nope, if you want Slaangor, you have to have a lot more patience or make them yourself. Or buy third party ones.
Image:Slaangor Conversion.jpg|When in doubt, kitbash.
Image:Ackland Slaangor.jpg|[[Tony Ackland]] Slaangor.
Image:Slaangor Fanart 1.jpg
Image:3d Print Slaangor.jpg|3d printers, making dreams come true.
Image:Slaangor Fanart 2.jpg
Image:Slaangor Invitation.png
Image:Slaangor 1.jpg
</gallery>

[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Beastmen]]

Slaangor

2020-09-09T17:33:46Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{stub}}
[[File:Oldhammer Beastmen.png|thumb|right|350px|Either tentacles are his fetish or Medusa is his waifu. Either way, he wants you to know it before you die.]]

'''Slaangors''', as their name suggests, are [[Beastmen]] in [[Warhammer Fantasy]], [[Warhammer 40000]], or [[Age of Sigmar]] who have dedicated themselves solely to the worship of [[Slaanesh]] and been rewarded with his/her Mark in the process. Like the other "Marked Gors" units, they are an ancient concept, dating all the way back to when Beastmen were introduced in "The Lost and the Damned", the second book of the [[Realms of Chaos]] duology.

==Overview==

===WFB===
In Realms of Chaos, it is said that a Slaangor typically has white (or near-white) fur and pale or pastel skins, as well as frequently having green and/or saucer-like eyes reminiscent of a [[Daemonette]]. They are also most likely to resemble ''Bovigors'', with the heads and horns of cattle, ala [[minotaur]]s, but theoretically they could have the form any animal associated with sex and sensuality; deer (stags), horses, cats, rabbits, foxes, and snakes would all make logical alternatives.

Old Slaangor models give them one breast and one flat chest like current Daemonettes, albeit with the breast uncovered, and notably one has the head of a unicorn while another had the head of a fish. Many of them are wearing garters or thigh-highs.

For most of WFB history they didn't really have their own stats, and existed as models (until they were squatted and replaced with generics for all varieties) that represented what Marks your forces had.

In the original Realms of Chaos duology, when introduced in "The Lost and the Damned", the only mechanical bonus for being a Slaangor was '''Hatred''' (Worshippers of Khorne) and gaining Slaanesh spells of your level as bonus freebies if you were a Slaangor Shaman.

In the Beasts of Chaos armybook, the only Slaangors were Bestigors, chariots (ridden by Bestigors) and Characters, since only they could take the Mark of Slaanesh, presumably because they were the only ones to prove themselves. In all cases the Mark made whoever had it Immune to Psychology and given Beastmen Leadership (and the items it unlocked), that wasn't bad.

Variety was gutted when Chaos was split into three armies and [[Phil Kelly|somebody]] took Marks away from the Beastmen, then retconned the fluff to say that Beastmen were never given and could never have Marks.

===40k===
Beastmen mutations are not automatically Chaos in 40k, but at the same time Beastmen aren't a dominant and uncontrollable force so most Slaangor are just considered Chaos Mutants and lumped in with human Cultists. Way back in the day, when Chapters were first being created and released, each one would get a list of how many Beastmen slaves they had access to; obviously any Chapter of [[Chaos Space Marines]] that was devoted to Slaanesh had Slaangors.

===AoS===
HA! [[Tzaangor]] are the stars of the AoS Beastmen. Slaanesh barely exists in the setting, mostly in the form of his servants who are fighting to save his <strike>magnificent</strike> ass or kick the shit out of each other trying to decide who will replace him. Beastmen themselves, other than the Tzaangor, have largely abandoned the Chaos Gods as a concept and worship exactly that; Chaos as a concept.

That said, we DO have lore on some Slaaneshi Beastmen; they just aren't actual Slaangors. This is probably because GW don't intend to give models of them anytime soon, but for all intents and purposes they are Slaangors, so we're calling them Slaangors. You don't like it, fuck off to the Lexicanum.

AoS Slaangor are tsundere for civilization, loving the shit out of the things that Beastmen ordinarily hate like soft luxuries and things of gentle beauty, and are overcome by massive waves of guilt and shame as soon as the novelty has worn off which they bury under even more frantic hedonism to avoid feeling anything but satisfaction despite the building wall of self-loathing. So basically they're the most realistic Slaanshi lore we've ever gotten.

They feast, fight, ferment and fuck until they're out of food, wimps to pick on, booze to drink, and holes/phalluses and have to find a new place to party, going full [[Noise Marine]] on the Brayhorns as they tear off with reckless abandon to destroy the defenders of whatever poor settlement they're swarming as quickly as possible so they can get to partying hard. These frenzies are called "Slakefrays", where they drink, rape (implied), eat, and kill fucking everything they can. Unlike most Beastmen they stick around when there's nothing left to kill, trying to squeeze every last bit of pleasure they can from whatever is around. The most prized things like gold and jewels are as likely to be melted down to decorate their horns as they are to be fucking eaten for the same reason rich assholes in real life eat gold leaf and diamond dust meat and candy (don't ask us, our money goes towards Citadel brand plastic crack). They wear the most exquisite fabrics, or decorate their bodies and horns with them. Baubles are hung and carried, magic runes and items kept for no other reason than to show off, and the Herdstones of the Slaangor are so ornate they may as well have been made by a civilized race of creatures with access to way too much gold (so <strike>Dwarfs</strike> Duardin).

Any gathering of sufficient size of AoS Slaangor is called a Depraved Drove, which is the name of their army type in the crunch.

The Direchasm starter box for [[Warhammer Underworlds]] appears to introduce a proper Slaangor, who in addition to the classic pale skin is differentiated from a normal Gor by his backwards jointed-legs and his Daemonette-esque crab claw. And looking like he's dressed in leather bondage gear, of course.

* Gravenkin

A particular band of Beastmen that has swelled in numbers beyond reason, that topples the largest of civilizations with ease. Carving a path of destruction through Aqshy, they've gone on to such heights of depravity that they've been joined by [[Daemonette]] bands of [[Seekers of Slaanesh]] who think that the Beastmen know where Slaanesh has been hidden and are being drawn to him; in reality, the Gravenkin are just that insatiable that the Daemonettes can't comprehend it.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Oldhammer Slaangor.jpg|Some of these are just old generic Beastmen labeled as Slaanesh's, some were made as Slaangor. TITS not really hard to figure out which is which.
Image:Slaangor.jpg|Wait, you thought there'd be more official Slaangor minis? Nope, if you want Slaangor, you have to have a lot more patience or make them yourself. Or buy third party ones.
Image:Slaangor Conversion.jpg|When in doubt, kitbash.
Image:Ackland Slaangor.jpg|[[Tony Ackland]] Slaangor.
Image:Slaangor Fanart 1.jpg
Image:3d Print Slaangor.jpg|3d printers, making dreams come true.
Image:Slaangor Fanart 2.jpg
Image:Slaangor Invitation.png
Image:Slaangor 1.jpg
</gallery>

[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Beastmen]]

Slaangor

2020-09-09T17:29:37Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{stub}}
[[File:Oldhammer Beastmen.png|thumb|right|350px|Either tentacles are his fetish or Medusa is his waifu. Either way, he wants you to know it before you die.]]

'''Slaangors''', as their name suggests, are [[Beastmen]] in [[Warhammer Fantasy]], [[Warhammer 40000]], or [[Age of Sigmar]] who have dedicated themselves solely to the worship of [[Slaanesh]] and been rewarded with his/her Mark in the process. Like the other "Marked Gors" units, they are an ancient concept, dating all the way back to when Beastmen were introduced in "The Lost and the Damned", the second book of the [[Realms of Chaos]] duology.

==Overview==

===WFB===
In Realms of Chaos, it is said that a Slaangor typically has white (or near-white) fur and pale or pastel skins, as well as frequently having green and/or saucer-like eyes reminiscent of a [[Daemonette]]. They are also most likely to resemble ''Bovigors'', with the heads and horns of cattle, ala [[minotaur]]s, but theoretically they could have the form any animal associated with sex and sensuality; deer (stags), horses, cats, rabbits, foxes, and snakes would all make logical alternatives.

Old Slaangor models give them one breast and one flat chest like current Daemonettes, albeit with the breast uncovered, and notably one has the head of a unicorn while another had the head of a fish. Many of them are wearing garters or thigh-highs.

For most of WFB history they didn't really have their own stats, and existed as models (until they were squatted and replaced with generics for all varieties) that represented what Marks your forces had.

In the original Realms of Chaos duology, when introduced in "The Lost and the Damned", the only mechanical bonus for being a Slaangor was '''Hatred''' (Worshippers of Khorne) and gaining Slaanesh spells of your level as bonus freebies if you were a Slaangor Shaman.

In the Beasts of Chaos armybook, the only Slaangors were Bestigors, chariots (ridden by Bestigors) and Characters, since only they could take the Mark of Slaanesh, presumably because they were the only ones to prove themselves. In all cases the Mark made whoever had it Immune to Psychology and given Beastmen Leadership (and the items it unlocked), that wasn't bad.

Variety was gutted when Chaos was split into three armies and [[Phil Kelly|somebody]] took Marks away from the Beastmen, then retconned the fluff to say that Beastmen were never given and could never have Marks.

===40k===
Beastmen mutations are not automatically Chaos in 40k, but at the same time Beastmen aren't a dominant and uncontrollable force so most Slaangor are just considered Chaos Mutants and lumped in with human Cultists. Way back in the day, when Chapters were first being created and released, each one would get a list of how many Beastmen slaves they had access to; obviously any Chapter of [[Chaos Space Marines]] that was devoted to Slaanesh had Slaangors.

===AoS===
HA! [[Tzaangor]] are the stars of the AoS Beastmen. Slaanesh barely exists in the setting, mostly in the form of his servants who are fighting to save his <strike>magnificent</strike> ass or kick the shit out of each other trying to decide who will replace him. Beastmen themselves, other than the Tzaangor, have largely abandoned the Chaos Gods as a concept and worship exactly that; Chaos as a concept.

That said, we DO have lore on some Slaaneshi Beastmen; they just aren't actual Slaangors. This is probably because GW don't intend to give models of them anytime soon, but for all intents and purposes they are Slaangors, so we're calling them Slaangors. You don't like it, fuck off to the Lexicanum.

AoS Slaangor are tsundere for civilization, loving the shit out of the things that Beastmen ordinarily hate like soft luxuries and things of gentle beauty, and are overcome by massive waves of guilt and shame as soon as the novelty has worn off which they bury under even more frantic hedonism to avoid feeling anything but satisfaction despite the building wall of self-loathing. So basically they're the most realistic Slaanshi lore we've ever gotten.

They feast, fight, ferment and fuck until they're out of food, wimps to pick on, booze to drink, and holes/phalluses and have to find a new place to party, going full [[Noise Marine]] on the Brayhorns as they tear off with reckless abandon to destroy the defenders of whatever poor settlement they're swarming as quickly as possible so they can get to partying hard. These frenzies are called "Slakefrays", where they drink, rape (implied), eat, and kill fucking everything they can. Unlike most Beastmen they stick around when there's nothing left to kill, trying to squeeze every last bit of pleasure they can from whatever is around. The most prized things like gold and jewels are as likely to be melted down to decorate their horns as they are to be fucking eaten for the same reason rich assholes in real life eat gold leaf and diamond dust meat and candy (don't ask us, our money goes towards Citadel brand plastic crack). They wear the most exquisite fabrics, or decorate their bodies and horns with them. Baubles are hung and carried, magic runes and items kept for no other reason than to show off, and the Herdstones of the Slaangor are so ornate they may as well have been made by a civilized race of creatures with access to way too much gold (so <strike>Dwarfs</strike> Duardin).

Any gathering of sufficient size of AoS Slaangor is called a Depraved Drove, which is the name of their army type in the crunch.

The Direchasm starter box for [[Warhammer Underworlds]] appears to introduce a proper Slaangor, who is differentiated from a normal Gor by his backwards jointed-legs and his Daemonette-esque crab claw. And looking like he's dressed in leather bondage gear, of course.

* Gravenkin

A particular band of Beastmen that has swelled in numbers beyond reason, that topples the largest of civilizations with ease. Carving a path of destruction through Aqshy, they've gone on to such heights of depravity that they've been joined by [[Daemonette]] bands of [[Seekers of Slaanesh]] who think that the Beastmen know where Slaanesh has been hidden and are being drawn to him; in reality, the Gravenkin are just that insatiable that the Daemonettes can't comprehend it.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Oldhammer Slaangor.jpg|Some of these are just old generic Beastmen labeled as Slaanesh's, some were made as Slaangor. TITS not really hard to figure out which is which.
Image:Slaangor.jpg|Wait, you thought there'd be more official Slaangor minis? Nope, if you want Slaangor, you have to have a lot more patience or make them yourself. Or buy third party ones.
Image:Slaangor Conversion.jpg|When in doubt, kitbash.
Image:Ackland Slaangor.jpg|[[Tony Ackland]] Slaangor.
Image:Slaangor Fanart 1.jpg
Image:3d Print Slaangor.jpg|3d printers, making dreams come true.
Image:Slaangor Fanart 2.jpg
Image:Slaangor Invitation.png
Image:Slaangor 1.jpg
</gallery>

[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Beastmen]]

Warhammer Underworlds

2020-09-09T17:27:38Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{stub}}
[[File:SS-logo.png|450px|center]]
Warhammer Underworlds is a new Specialist game released by [[Games Workshop]], situated in the shadowy city of Shadespire, where warbands battle in the streets for glory or to gain "shadeglass", a substance that can confer eternal life. It combines the easy-to-pick-up nature and deck-building from [[X-Wing]] with the setting of [[Age of Sigmar]], an unholy fusion of the two most addictive hobbies to grace nerddom. Geedubs banked on this being a competitive tournament game, with contests already being planned even before all the factions were released, and their gamble paid off big time.

The first block, '''Shadespire''', began with Stormcast Eternals and Khorne Bloodbound (where have I seen this before...) with all the bitz needed to play the game. In November the first wave of expansions launched, releasing skeletons and ironjawz. In February the second wave brought Fyreslayers and Skaven. April of 2018 saw the closing of the first block with Vanguard Hunters and Blood Warriors, with confirmation that the second block, '''Nightvault''', would include the Sacrosanct Chamber, spoopy ghosts, and rules for magic; on the horizon are shroomy biggies and squiggies, grots, chaos barbarians, elf-tree-elves, dakka dwarves, and [[Just As Planned]] boys. A third block has been announced, titled '''Beastgrave''', and looks to be bringing some variety of centaurs to the mix.

The game has a budding but dedicated competitive environment with regulated lists, banned cards and all that. As it stands, the game is fairly balanced apart from a few bottom-tier Warbands that need some real skills to make work properly. However, any good player can make a semi-competitive list work with a little elbow grease and luck. [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaJd8oVbhoseNRlkH8c2-RmGDI4Jd0l34 You can learn the basics here]

==The Setting==
[[File:Shadespire-Factions-Image1jrcn.jpg|450px|thumb|right|Oh no, I hate it when a [[Nagash|Skeleton Lich-Overlord]] screams broken mirrors out on me and my friends!]]
At the edge of the Desert of Bones in Shyish, the Realm of Death was a great city called Shadespire. The people living in it had managed to create some sort of magical mirror-like substance called "Shadeglass", which let the souls of their dead live on in mirrors put up everywhere around the city, keeping their knowledge and powers safe for future generations to use for the city’s betterment. Naturally, this didn't sit too well with [[Nagash]], who wasn't fond of ''once again'' getting cheated out of his (imagined) tithe of death. So, to get back at those arrogant Shadespirers, he threw the entire fucking city out between the Realm of Shadow and Light in the endless void, trapping everyone inside to live out an eternity of kinda-torment until they petition themselves to him voluntarily. An unliving husk is left of Shadespire in Shyish, but the actual city, now out in the nothingness, has become impossibly vast, but fragmented and all messed up, so you never know if you can find that favorite In-And-Out Burger you love so much after you leave it.

To the surprise of no one, the destruction of Shadespire inspired legions of looters to ransack the physical ruins for Shadeglass and other riches. Unfortunately, anyone who goes just a bit too far into the city will find themselves with a one-way ticket to Shadespire for an eternity of bloodshed. With nothing better to do, the different Warbands caught in Shadespire fight it out to the bloody death for kicks - they can't die permanently anyway, as the city resurrects them within days.

The Beastgrave block shifts the setting, as a crack in reality caused by the Necroquake allows the O.G warbands to escape the city. Unfortunately, this leads them to the titular Beastgrave, a sentient and malevolent mountain that has a habit of luring in adventurers in the hopes of consuming them.

While the setting and the idea of "Warbands" might cause a few of you [[Mordheim]] players to awake from your eternal slumber, be warned that the Warbands aren't customizable ''at all''. These guys are not [[Your Dudes|your dudes]], they are unique characters with names and such, so if you wanted to make your own guys, this isn't your game.

...Unless [[Proxy]]. In a friendly setting, theres nothing stopping you converting up some Savage Orcs to be Garrek's Reavers, or Magore's Fiends as some Mercenary Knights with loyal doge. Perhaps your Farstriders are actually Dorf Ironbreakers with drakefire pistols instead of stupid crossbow-pistols, or turn Spiteclaws Swarm into lizardmans. That upcoming warband with the fungus troll and cave beasties? How about an Ogre Hunter with some sabrekitties? As long as you (and your opponent) know who's what and what's who.

==The Game==
The game is played between two players (with a possibility for up to four players) on hex-grid boards, with the goal of gaining as many <s>Victory</s> '''Glory Points''' as possible before the end of the game. You gain G<s>l</s>ory Points by either killing enemy models or by achieving Objective Cards, which you draw before the game starts. This means that you can win a game even if your entire Warband is killed off. The only thing that matters is gaining more Glory Points than the opponent.

A game is three turns of four activations each, for a total of twelve activation per person. If this sounds quick, it's because it fucking is: two players who know the rules can easily play a full game in twenty minutes or less. In tournaments, a match is almost sure to be three games in a row and tournaments are intended to be best of 3.

At the start of every game, the players roll off and the loser chooses how to place the first hex-board, with the second player placing the other board in such a way that the hexes connects properly and at least three hexes are connected. Board placement can have a drastic effect on the game, as each board side has its own starting positions and such. Then the players roll off again, the winning player choosing who is placing their models on the starting positions on their own board side first.

The players take turns doing Activations; four Activations each per Turn. An Activation lets you do one of these Actions:

* Move a model. Each model can only move once per Turn. There are tokens to indicate which models have moved.
* Attack an enemy model within reach. For each friendly model in base contact with the enemy model apart from the attacking model, the attacker hits easier (presumably as his bud holds the enemy down to the curb while your attacking models winds up his stompin’ boot). Ranged attacks go through models, but not terrain, which can make certain models a real fucking pain in the ass when they get Inspired and have Supporters on their attacks.
* Charge an enemy model, which is a Move followed by an Attack. Models cannot be activated after Charging, so use it wisely. There's also little tokens to indicate what models have charged.
* Guard with a Friendly model. This allows your model to use '''both''' Dodge and Block on the Defence die, which can help a lot if your’re a fucking human with 2 Wounds and one Dodge, which is like half the Khorne Warband. Models lose Guard if they charge in the same turn.
* Draw a Power Card. Generally don't use this; you get new Power Cards each Turn and your Activations are precious. This is nearly mandatory if you are running a SCE katophrane deck, as you will want to get your gribbly hands on to those relics.
* Discard and draw an Objective Card. Again, don't do this unless you're boned. Still, this is remarkably more useful than the other Draw option, since you can't replace your Objective Cards ever, and they win you the game if you have the proper set.

After each of your Activations you may play Power Cards which come in different flavours:
'''Ploys''', which are free and do all sorts of interesting shit after playing them, like moving guys around or stealing the enemy's Glory Points. The other Power Card type are '''Upgrades''', which cost Glory Points (put doesn't remove them - They still count as "Victory Points" even if used to buy an Upgrade), and are permanent upgrades to your models. Ploys make or break the game; have as many Ploys as you can (up to half of your deck) in the Power Deck and choose them very carefully. After you have played a Power Card, your opponent may do the same, then you can play one and so on, until both calls. With this, the opposing player gets to Activate.
Some cards are also '''Reactions''' which are played <s>like [[magic the gathering]]</s> as a counter or response to certain enemy actions, their power cards or things that have happened to your dudes.

Each model is unqiue and have an [[Anime|INSPIRED MOOOOODE!]] When the model's Inspire requirement is met, you flip the card and use the profile on the other side which usually includes new attacks and better stats. For some Warbands this is just a nice little bonus, but for others, like the Reavers, it's their entire thing and what you should build your decks around.

===Deck-Building===
[[File:Shadespire-DeckBuilding101-Cards1krs.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Two Objective Cards.]]
So that's pretty simple, but this is where Warbands and deck-building comes into it.

Each player has two decks; a Power Deck of 20 cards (or more) and an Objective Deck of exactly 12. A large amount of the cards available are Neutral and usable by everyone, but there's a good amount of Faction Cards that only the specific Warband can use.

The Objective Deck is the one that will win you the game, since it has the collection of cards that will award you Glory Points. Your choice of Objective Cards is crucial for your gameplan, and ideally you should have a combination of high-risk, five Glory Points cards and the easy-to-claim one Glory Point cards to tackle those situations where RNG fucked you over.

The Power Deck is the one where your Ploys (aforementioned God-cards of Awesome, dagger symbol) and Upgrades (eh, gear symbols) goes. They should help you achieve your Objectives obviously, but some are just so good that they should be in all decks if you can make them fit. Cards like Confusion (switch two models in base contact) and Sidestep (Friendly model moves one Hex) are awesome to help you get into bashing range without using Activations on Move Actions. Generally, anything that gives some additional movement fucking rocks. Only half of your deck can be Ploys. Starting with Nightvault, Spells are also added as a part of the Power Deck.

If you need advice, GW put some example decks up on their website based on dev team recommendations and decks that won major tournaments.

GW has decided balance will be maintained by a banned and restricted list. Only three cards are banned, but restricted forced a big hit on aggressive warbands. Unlike other restricted lists you can only choose three (previously five) cards from the whole restricted list. Good luck with that.

==Warbands==
Each block consists of at least eight Warbands. The two first Warbands can be found in the block's starter pack, with the rest being released over time.

===Shadespire Block===

====Steelheart's Champions====
[[File:60010799005 ShadespireENG03.jpg|right|250px|Steelheart's Champions]]
The first Stormcast Eternal Warband and tied for the smallest group currently in the game with the other Stormcast Warbands. Liberator-Prime Steelheart and his two roadtrip buds went to Shadespire to find a cure to the increasing hollowness that plagues Stormcasts when they get reforged, and they're not even gonna try to get out of the city before they have it!

The melee-oriented Stormcast Warband is among the tougher and slower Warbands, and all their attacks hits fairly easily and hits like a bullet train. Their Inspire comes into play when they successfully roll a Shield or Critical on defense, which causes them to gain [[Nurgle]]-like toughness and additional attacks... But you'll need to strike a precarious balance because before that, even your four Wound won't save you from attacks; and with only three models, each casualty will severely hurt your board presence and ability to gain Glory Points. Another issue is that Steelheart McLanternjaw, the leader of the Warband, ironically is the least useful model, with no specific role to fill in.

The SC cards are pretty simple - Not bad, just simple. Your opponent will often know what your decks are about the moment you place just one set of gold-plated buttcheeks on the board, but that might necessarily be that much of an issue. It just means that the Champions are a very steady Warband that can take a beating and still work towards their goals.

They are tough, but slow, and warbands like the <s>Orruks</s>, <s>Orcs</s>, <s>Orkz</s>, DA BOYZ with access to a lot of cleave can cause a lot of trouble.

[[File:60010799005 ShadespireENG05.jpg|right|250px|Garrek's Reavers]]

====Garrek's Reavers====
No Stormcasts without the cannibals in red! They don’t even say why they’re there; maybe [[Warhammer:_Age_of_Sigmar#Khorne_Bloodbound|Bloodbound]] just appear spontanously where Stormbois go, like a really sick sort of intestinal disease that usually follows a McDonalds menu? The Reavers is widely considered one of, if not the most difficult Warband to pilot currently in the game... But when they get rolling, they get fucking *rolling*!

The Reavers have five models, varying from pretty okay to absolutely awful. They’re all pretty fast and get faster yet when Inspired, and has a model for every situation - the issue is, they fall like flies to even the slightest attack, with two of the Reavers literally having [[Fail|2 Wounds and 1 Dodge]] (which is the worst defense in the game), and the others are only marginally better. However, this is also the Reavers’ trump card, because when '''any''' three models in the game are taken Out of Action, *all* Reavers become Inspired, which turns them into some of the most dangerous models in the game! Saek and Garrek himself gets particularly nasty, with very powerful attacks and high movement. When this is combined with the frankly fantastic Reaver Upgrades and Ploys, this Warband goes from weedy to scary in no time. There's a mixed bag included Axe-Chain-Man with the power of axes on a chain allowing ranged melee attacks and Stabbins McGee who can make lots of attacks. By having 5 Speedy Khornezales grabbing objectives is easy, but they drop like flies.

=====Reaver Decks=====
*'''Aggro Reavers:''' How a warband of Khorne-worshipping mortals who come back to life should play - Fast and hard! Aggro Reavers aims to start the game by attempting to kill as many enemy models as possible before Arnulf and Targor eventually dies by a stiff breeze, which should allow you to become Inspired. Then you pile on the upgrades on Saek, Garrek and Karsus and go to town. These builds are meant to burn like crazy, with loads of easy-to-use reactionary Ploys and great Upgrades that allow your golden boys to reave havoc; most games you'll end with an empty Power Deck! This is not an easy deck to run however, as it requires you to weigh the sacrifices you are going to have to make to be Inspired - if you're not careful, you'll just bloody yourself, like punching yourself in the nose.
**'''Karsus Unleashed:''' A variant of the Aggro Reavers that puts most of their Upgrades on Karsus. He's got a Range 2 attack as well as an "attack-everything-within-Range-1" attack, both which benefit massively by Upgrades like Great Strength (+1 Damage to all attacks). Place him somewhere were he gets support from the other models and let him go to town from a safe distance.
*'''Objective Reavers:''' Believe it or not, Khorne cultists play a fairly strong Objective game. The Reavers are fast and have quite a few models with allows you to cove most of the board quickly. With the addition of the Move buff from Inspired and Ploys like Sidestep (Move a friendly model one Hex) or Sprint (Next Move is doubled), the Khorne guys are among the fastest Warbands in the game. Only issue is that they aren't very tough compared to other Objective decks, so more bashy Warbands can ruin your day by throwing your bare-torsoed-ass around.

====Ironskull's Boyz====
[[File:60120709001 IronskullsBoyzENG02.jpg|right|250px|Ironskull's Boyz]]
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH!!!!
The 'Ardboyz representing green power. These guys have been stuck in the city for a while(decades) after a looting spree gone wrong. At first the leader, Gurzag Ironskull, did not like it one bit but after the years has grown rather fond of the place. [[Tuska Daemon-Killa|What with an endless cycle of battle and bloodshed, this place is actually rather nice for an Orruk]].

These guys are one of the simpler teams to play and is great for beginners. They are tough as hell, have alright movement and hard hitting power from 2 of the 4 members. They inspire simply by taking damage which is rather easy as only a few combos can one-shot these monsters of melee (EDIT: Obviously this was before the COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED power creep in the last expansion block. Now they can die on turn 1. Not that they really care.). Most of their unique Ploys are made to essentially break the game; making extra moves and attacks, making moves after attacking or attacking after moves and so on and so forth. Combining these Ploys in one Activation can cause you to play an entire Turn in a single Activation, clutching a win from defeat at lightning speed! Almost all their objectives focus on them hitting enemies, so don't include all of them in one deck. The orcs aren't suited for Objective play either; they just don't have the movement to claim a lot of Objectives in time.

Their main weakness is Hakka and Basha, whose damage sucks up to several colors of chode, even after they're Inspired. However, with some clever use of Upgrades they can get alright. They are also very predictable to play against, predictable in their unpredictability in a sense. While their Ploys can mess up the game, that's what they have to play with mostly. This isn't that bad though; you've still got 17 Wounds with good Defense, so whatever the enemy can throw at you, you can probably take it in stride.

=====Orruk Decks=====
*'''Grind-Out Orruks:''' With four tough-as-nails boyz that actually like to take damage, you've got no reason not to throw them into the fire and let them roast. The main difference between you and most Warbands is that ''you'' can take it; they usually can't! This deck-type needs a keen eye for opportunities and openings to exploit, as well as a tactican's mind to utilize your Ploys and Upgrades well. For example, don't burn Power Cards on a dude who's probably gonna die soon, and never think that even Basha or Hakka can't do their share; even a single Wound of Damage can make a great difference. This deck uses Brutal but Kunnin' (Make a Move after an Attack), Kunnin' but Brutal (Take a guess), 'Avin' A Good Time (50/50 chance of making an extra attack) to squeeze the most value out of each dude, as well as upgrades like Daemonic Weapon (Dude gets a nasty-ass attack) and 'Ard Head (Hakka or Basha takes a permanent -1 Damage) to boost Basha and Hakka to true killyness.
*'''"You On Da List?":''' Also called Board Orcs or Bouncer Orcs, this is a deck based on three Objective Cards that can give fucking '''8''' Glory Points by the end of the game, with the same requirements basically! These three are Denial (Enemy models didn't end on your board), Contained (Enemy models ended in their Board entirely) and Conquerors (All your models ended in the enemy board), which, as you can imagine, can win you almost any game immediately. Here's the issue - Almost all players who've lost to this before will do ''everything'' they can to stop you, Sprinting to the end of your board side to ruin your life. This is why you'll want to make like Blood Bowl and wall the fuck up at the No-Mans Land between the boards, hopefully stopping any intruders. Your deck should also be filled up by defensive and supportive Ploys and Upgrades like Great Toughness (+1 Wound), Unkillable (When Gurzag is killed, 50/50 chance he lives), Healing Potion (Heal 1 or 2 Wounds) and 'Ard Head (Hakka or Basha takes -1 Wounds) to increase your staying power. Note that most of the Nightvault Warbands have a hard counter for this: the Thorns of the Briar Queen can pass right through you, the Eyes of the Nine can summon their Horror into your starting hexes, and Zarbag's Gitz can make mass moves on top of the fact there's twice as many of them as there are of you.

[[File:Shadespire-WarbandsSkeletons.jpg|right|250px|Sepulchral Guard]]
====Sepulchral Guard====
The remains of several of Shadespire's unfortunate inhabitants, now turned to the service of Nagash in the hopes that he will forgive their insolence (and put them out of their misery). Their boss was once the last Lord Marshal of Shadespire.

Skellington Skwad weighs in with 7 dead guys; there's Spear McGiblets the leader who, despite the cool models armor and spear, needs to hide like a <s>bitch</s> boss at the back because only he can resurrect your dead undead. Did we mention that re-animating two skellymans makes him Inspired? Put simply if you play this band you will activate Boss Skellington most of the 12 actions, and striking the right balance between moving your squishy guys forward to let them get krumped, bringing them back in their more powerful form and actually activating them to have them do shit will win or lose you the game.

There's 2 hero guys, basically skeleton warriors - a mace dude (The Prince) and the sword dude (The Champion) - these guys can actually get shit done and benefit from the better upgrades. They can be resurrected by Spear McGiblets which as is normal (for animated necromantic skeletons) Inspires them. Then there's the remains of Farmer Maggot with his kick ass scythe. This can hit all adjacent foes giving you some area of attack. Finally there's 3 petitioners which at the moment are the worst models in the game - move 2, piss poor attacks. In fact most of your dudes attacks and defence are rubbish, however the upgrades let you take extra attacks or let you get support on actions even if you don't have the models in the right place.

By having 7 models combined with McGiblets' ability to move 2 other skeletons allows you to zerg your opponent and capture objectives. Just be aware that the skeletons are pretty squishy and most warbands won't have much trouble smashing through them - just as well they get back up! Building your deck with the right mix of upgrades and reactions and knowing when to play what to get the most mileage out of your bonebags isn't easy but is really satisfying when it does work.

====The Chosen Axes====
[[File:ChosenAxes.jpg|right|250px|Garrek's Reavers]]
<s>Dwarfs</s> Fyreslayers - expect 4 short, choppy bastards mixed with fire as well as typical stunty grumbling about painting orange. The Fyreslayers of the Vostarg lodge failed an oath of theirs to keep the city safe, and even after hundreds of their number have fallen trying to dispel its curse they're much too stubborn to know when they're beat.

Fyreslayers are supposed to be similar to the Stormcast Eternals but with the ability to specialise in either offense or defense. They are very slow but get inspired from holding objectives. Oddly enough, the massive axe does not count as a ranged weapon, and can only reach one hex...

[[File:SpiteclawsSwarm.jpg|left|250px|Yes-yes!]]

====Spiteclaw's Swarm====
Skaven - a mini-swarm of 5 ratbois here for the looting. Expect speed and trickyness but to die easier than the skellybones. There'll be ranged attacks and bonuses for outnumbering or supporting against single models.

They get inspired whenever a ploy is used on them. They have two named characters, while the remaining three are more expendable. If they die, one of the three can automatically be brought back a turn (and a ploy allows for another to come back as well in that same turn.)

====The Farstriders====
[[File:Farstriders.jpg|right|250px|Now with 200% more [[Dakka]].]]
Another band of 3 Stormcast Eternal, with a greater focus on ranged combat. All three of them have their [[Bolt Pistol|trusty sidearm]] to plink at the opponent with impunity.They're not as completely OP as they sound, though: plinking does little damage unless boosted by gear/ploys and for them Inspiration only strikes when they end an action phase in enemy territory. Their cards generally either encourage more aggressive play of going forward, bring the fight to the enemy and treat shooting as a bonus; or hang back and pewpew like little bitches with empowered shots but woe if the enemy manages to close the gap. Middle ground is hard to pull off with the limited amount of both minis and cards.

[[File:MagoresFiends.jpg|left|250px|Eternal battle, just what we needed!]]
====Magore's Fiends====
The Stormcast version of the Reavers - choppy and armoured. Four strong; three Fantasy [[Khorne Berzerker]] equivalents (the boss Magore and his two pals Ghartok and Zharkus) and Riptooth (aka [[Meme|Doge]]), a [[Flesh Hound]]. They start out rather slow, but become inspired whenever they make a succesful attack which boosts both their speed and their damage. Magore is pretty much a powerhouse once inspired (3 base damage that can be boosted to 4 or 5, he can take an Orruk out in one single blow), Riptooth is faster and more vulnerable than the others but can be surprisingly vicious, and both Ghartok and Zharkus can punch back whoever fail to hit them as a reaction for free.
=====Fiends Decks=====
A very aggressive warband, There are 3 broad ways on how to build their deck:
* '''Blood for The Blood God!''' - Overused battlecry aside, this version focuses on killing as much as you can, boosting Ghartok and Zharkus and letting them go to town on anything coming nearby with Magore and Doge in support. Basic, straightforward and absolutely unsubtle: [[Rip and tear|Kill them all, Khorne will know his own!]]
* '''Skulls for the Skull Throne!''' - This variant focuses less on pure slaughter but rather on boosting Magore and having him claim the enemy leader's skull for mucho glory points, while the three others keep the rest away. Slightly harder to pilot than just all-out aggro.
* '''Sic 'em!''' - This one includes upgrades for Riptooth and tries to take as much advantage as possible of his mobility and the fact he can drag opponents around after chomping on them. Hardest to pull off, but having Doge drag one of your opponent's minis away from the objective he needs to win in extremis or in range of your other madmen is just hilarious.

===Nightvault Block===
====Thorns of the Briar Queen====
[[File:ThornsOfTheBriarQueen.jpg|right|300px|Ten thousand YEAAAARS will give you such a crick in the neck!]]
A once-great death mage, the Briar Queen was condemned to an eternity of imprisonment in the depths of the Nightvault when she failed to conquer Shadespire for herself. Nagash, being the asshole that he is, found it most amusing to unleash a former enemy of the Mirrored City against the interlopers trying to claim its secrets. According to the Nighthaunt codex, Nagash actually lets her out of the city on missions, and she mainly stays in Shadespire despite being able to leave due to her grudge against the city.

Like their fellow undead, this [[Nighthaunt]] warband consists of 7 spooky ghosts. All of them have the <Strike>unique</Strike> ability to treat lethal hexes as normal hexes and can move right through blocked or occupied hexes as well. The Briar Queen herself is a level 2 wizard, and with four wounds and 2 dodge she can take a beating. Varclav the Chained comes with the ability to push all the generic Chainrasps (plus the other guy who's basically a slightly stronger Chainrasp) up to two spaces, and conveniently enough they get inspired any time they're next to an enemy.

They favor an aggressive playstyle blending both objective play and eliminating enemies thanks to their mobility boosts and method of inspiration, and while the individual Chainrasps are somewhat weak they're good at dogpiling enemy fighters since they can slip right past anything in their way- the whole premise of the Bouncer Orcs deck falls apart against them even before their ploys, spells, and upgrades come into play. Using Varclav's ability is a must- he should be close enough to the front lines to push the little ghosts forward while smacking any targets of opportunity, but not so close that he becomes a prime target himself. Any cards with a pushing effect (e.g. Earthquake or your own Howling Vortex spell) will also help you close in on the foe for an easy inspiration. As for ploys, you've got a mix of debuffs like Maddening Cackle (which de-inspires fighters and keeps them from becoming inspired again), buffs like Spectral Chains and Endless Malice, and a few other pushing effects.

[[File:StormsiresCursebreakers.jpg|left|250px|Break all the curses!]]

====Stormsire's Cursebreakers====
Knight-Incantor Averon Stormsire was chosen personally by Sigmar to investigate the curse of Shadespire in the hopes of breaking it, for the irascible mage’s knowledge of unbinding and banishment is extraordinarily comprehensive. Stormsire has long studied the negative effects of the reforging process, and his grim demeanour has only grown more intense as the troubling implications become clearer.

Another trio of Stormcasts, this time from the Sacrosanct Chamber and consequently full of magic. They become inspired by successfully casting spells, which is a good thing because they have a ''lot'' of spells. Stormsire himself comes with a ranged magic attack by default, while the other two come with a self-buff spell that allows them to re-roll failed attacks.

Their deck is primarily offensive, and focuses on both upgrade that increase the power of the Cursebreakers and spells for shitting out lightning everywhere. With only three models, Empathic Conduction's healing will be a game-saver, and if you want to zap enemies left and right Cry of Thunder and Chain Lightning are both solid multi-target attack spells.

====Eyes of the Nine====
[[File:EyesOfTheNine.jpg|right|250px|Just as planned!]]A goodie-bag of Tzeentch: a leading Magister, two Kairic Acolytes, a Blue Horror, and a Tzaangor. They get inspired by successfully performing ranged attacks (with the exception of Tzaangor K'Charik,who is inspired when someone next to him casts a spell, and the Horrors, who don't get inspired at all.) The Magister Vortemis the All-Seeing is rather squishy with only 4 wounds and 1 dodge, but his ranged attack power is high and he can summon a Blue Horror on any starting hex that splits into a Brimstone Horror pair when it dies. (Yes, this includes the enemy's starting hexes too.) As an added bonus, the Horror can be re-summoned any time it's been slain with all of its upgrades intact, making it a constant threat as long as Vortemis is around to bring it back. The Tzaangor is a pretty standard beatstick, and one of the Acolytes has Cleave to deal with tougher targets.

The Eyes of the Nine's deck is strongly control-oriented to take advantage of their good speed and summonable Horror, with plenty of cards that shift the positions of fighters around. And what kind of Tzeentch-themed army would they be if they didn't supplement that with hard-hitting spells?

There are some very interesting warband specific upgrades for your fighters, yet your guys are so brittle that there's no logic in upgrading them. Your band should keep a Mollog's Mob proportions of upgrades - all of them on the leader or the horror.

[[File:ZarbagsGits.jpg|left|250px|Nine gits! NINE!]]

====Zarbag's Gitz====
The largest warband yet, with NINE FIGS! Seven grots and two squigs! While they're about as resilient as you would expect a grot to be (read: not very), all of them but the Squigs have a special rule that lets them move as a reaction if an ally started a move next to them. With the right positioning and a bit of forethought, the entire warband can be moved with only one activation!

Most of Zarbag's Gitz become inspired after they score at least 3 Glory Points, with the exceptions being the Squigs and Snirk Sourtongue.

Zarbag is squishy for a leader, but he's still a Wizard and hits fairly hard when Inspired. Snirk Sourtongue is a bit of an oddball compared to most fighters- he becomes inspired after any activation(foe or friend alike). When inspired, Snirk gives up the ability to perform ''all'' normal actions, but can zoom across the board while pushing and damaging anyone in between him and his target location. The Squig Herder is tankier than the rest of the Grots, and since the Squigs are inspired as soon as he dies your opponent can be forced into a position where killing him can actually be more troublesome than letting him live. The rest of them...well,they're Grots. One has a net and can debuff enemies, but apart from that they're unimpressive.

Zarbag's deck needs to get glory points quickly in order to build up their momentum, but their sheer numbers work in their favor when the Inspiration kicks in and the support bonuses are almost a certainty. Their Ploys help shore up the low offensive power of their individual fighters.

====Mollog's Mob====
[[File:MollogsMob.jpg|right|300px|]]A Bat Squig, a Spiteshroom, a Stalagsquig (think a Squig crossed with a stalagmite), and Mollog himself make up this warband. All Mollog the Dankhold Troggoth wanted was to nap in peace, but the other warbands keep waking him up. Needless to say, he's really cranky now and if they won't keep it down he'll ''make'' them keep it down.

Obviously Mollog himself is the centerpiece of the warband; he's a 7-wound monster that can charge with a move token, hits like a truck, and hits every fighter next to him at once. And when he's inspired by taking at least 3 wounds, he can charge if he has a charge token too (but not both a move and a charge token at the same time or if he has two of one token type). While the Squigs can't be given attack upgrades or even hold objectives, they still play a role in distracting and harassing anyone who might try to whittle down Mollog's health. The Bat Squig can move through occupied hexes and treats lethal ones as normal hexes, the Stalagsquig can't move but isn't set up until the first activation of the first round and can be placed on ''any'' empty hex including objectives, and the Spiteshroom hits all adjacent fighters at once like Mollog and inflicts damage to everyone near it when it dies.

If you haven't figured it out yet, this warband's success hinges almost entirely on Mollog's survival, so it's a good thing its deck has a fair number of ploys that mitigate his vulnerability to being outranged or outnumbered. The squigs also get some good benefits out of ploys as well, such as being able to respawn a Stalagsquig after it's been beaten or allowing said Stalagsquig to hold objectives.

====Godsworn Hunt====
[[File:GodswornHunt.jpg|left|300px|]]
Chaos is really working overtime, this time with Darkoath barbarians.

The Godsworn Hunt acts somewhat like a combination of the earlier Chaos warbands- they've got a wizard and ranged attacks like the Eyes of the Nine, the strength in numbers of Garrek's Reavers, and the offensive clout of Magore's Fiends. While not quite as durable or hard-hitting as the Khornate warbands and lacking in the magical potential of the Eyes, their versatility lets them adopt a variety of strategies. Godsworn Hunt fighters become Inspired after receiving an upgrade, which makes them tricky to use early on but allows them to snowball rapidly once the glory points start coming in.

The leader Theddra Skull-Scryer is a level 1 wizard best suited for casting spells from a distance, while heavy hitter Grundann Blood-Eye is somewhat frail but fast enough to keep his distance before going in for the kill. Shond Head-Claimer also acts as a brawler, and he gains Cleave when Inspired. Jagathra carries a javelin, which she can only use once per game but deals a lot of damage when she does so, and archer Ollo has good movement to extend his threat range. Finally, Grawl the hunting dog is quick and good at supporting allies and blocking enemies.

The Godsworn Hunt has a special mechanic in their objectives called Oaths- they work like normal objectives, but award one extra glory point by revealing them to the opponent in the previous action phase. They can help get you enough points to gain an upgrade (and get someone Inspired by doing so), but on the other hand the opponent will now know how to block you from scoring as well.

Due to their role in the deck, Godsworn Hunt players will want to have a lot of upgrades available and spread them around to everyone. Fortunately, their Ploys help in acquiring upgrades and make the upgrades themselves more effective.

====Chaos Gargant====
Not technically an official warband, a Chaos gargant was added via a free card that came in the white dwarf. Driven mad by the city's shifting shenanigans, the gargant rampages through Shadespire. He is meant to be taken down by both players, and the amount of health he has depends on the number of players he faces. When he loses enough wounds, he gets inspired.

====Ylthari's Guardians====
[[File:Ylthari's_Guardians.png|right|250px|Ylthari's Guardians]]

The Necroquake woke up this warband of [[Sylvaneth]], and like Mollog they aren't too thrilled about being interrupted from their magic slumber. They become Inspired by any effect that would heal them, regardless of whether it actually removes wound tokens.

Another all-around warband with a solid blend of melee and ranged options. Ylthari is a flexible mage that can sometimes heal herself after casting spells (and conveniently Inspiring her, boosting her movement to 5). Anhslaine the archer comes with a reaction that allows a bonus attack after defeating an enemy, making her useful for thinning hordes like Zarbag's Gitz. Gallanghann is a melee tank with 4 wounds and 2 block, and Skhathael hits hard and gets Cleave when Inspired.

As you'd expect from their Inspiration condition, their deck comes with a ton of options to restore your warband's health; even some of their objectives trigger only after healing a certain amount. Of course, being healed usually means you have to take damage first and it's still possible to get hurt more than you can heal from.

====Thundrik's Profiteers====
[[File:Thundrik's_Profiteers.png|left|250px|Thundrik's Profiteers]]

The Katophranes left behind many valuable artifacts, and the [[Kharadron Overlords]] are here to find them.

The lynchpin of the Warband is Thundrik himself. He's a reliable ranged fighter, and he can put some distance between him and his foes by temporarily converting hexes next to him into lethal hexes. More importantly, he can Inspire a fighter of your choice each time you score an objective, which makes keeping him alive a high priority. Dead-eye Lund is a strong ranged fighter with Cleave, and the knockback on Enrik Ironhail's gun can make sure that anyone not killed by his 3 attacks can't trap him in melee. Khazgan is a flying melee fighter with a backup ranged attack, and Garodd is...just average, pretty much.

Their decks are best served by "score this immediately" objectives to ensure quick inspiring, and have a bunch of ploys and upgrades that focus on damage output.

===Beastgrave Block===
[[File:Grashrak's ravagers.webp|right|250px|Grashrak's Ravagers]]
====Grashrak's Despoilers====

Beastmen warband, consisting of a Bestigor and four Ungors lead by a Bray Shaman. They have come to revel in the unending carnage that Beastgrave grants.

One of the starter warbands for round 3, this warband has a pretty decent mixing of objective, killing, and territory based objectives with a few odds and ends, so you could play them a lot of different ways. The Shaman starts off with a one-use token that lets any fighter reroll one dice in an attack action, only getting it refilled when an enemy fighter dies. This factors in to their inspire mechanics, as the entire warband inspires when two enemy fighters are out of action. This can be rather difficult if your up against any warband with less than four fighters, especially any of the stormcast, with a person who knows what they are doing. If you don't know what warband you will be fighting, it might be better to build more on objectives than killing fighters.

====Skaeth's Wild Hunt====
[[File:WHUWSkaethFocus-Sep18-Models3fd.jpg|left|250px|Skaeth's Wild Hunt]]
A warband consisting of Kurnothi, a new race that's essentially a combination of Wood Elves and satyrs/centaurs. Skaeth's warband has come in hopes of finding the Beastgrave's heart so it can be killed once and for all.

The other starting warband for round 3, and like the first they have a nice mix of options for objective cards, making a lot of possible play styles. And this is one of the fastest warbands, with every fighter having at least 4 at the start, 2 having 5, and the rest go up to 5 after inspiring. They gain that at the end phase if they have a charge token, they do not inspire right after charging. Each fighter can gain something different from inspiring, so don't just go charging whilly nilly and make it easy to pick your fighters off since they're not all that tough until they inspire. As a nice bonus they have a wizard who is NOT their warband leader which forces a new kind of tension on the opponent - shall I kill the leader, or the spellcaster?

[[File:Grymwatch.jpg|right|250px|The Grymwatc]]

====The Grymwatch====
Flesh-Eater Courts warband. Includes the first female Ghoul, in case anybody wanted some mental scarring.

Fluffwise they are knight souls trapped in <s>ghoul</s> sexy bodies. Crusading in their minds, <s>eating dead meat in reality</s> feasting in Valhalla. Each phase if your leader is on board you may return one of the <s>shitty ghouls</s> young knights back in the game in a semi-random using the scatter token. The biggest focus of this warband is keeping control of your territory and keeping the enemy where you want them too be. Several objective cards deal in having control of the objectives in the enemies territory or not having anyone but you in your territory, which is also how you inspire. Using ploy cards to move around and using the leaders reviving mechanic to grab objectives in the enemies territory can make moving around a lot faster and help to grab the objectives you want. Aggro warbands are a pain to deal with though, and using board set up to make the neutral zone as small as possible can make holding your own territory a bit easier.

====Ironsoul’s Condemnors====
[[File:Ironsoul’s_Condemnors.jpg|left|250px|Ironsoul’s Condemnors]]

One of the warbands for the "Dreadfane" starter set. Now released outside USA in the Champions of Dreadfane box set. Mirroring their liberator companions, Ironsoul's condemnors hare a 3 model warband with "the Leader", "the shield", and "the heavy". Ironsoul's condemnors' twist from steelheart's champions is that they have knockback EVERYWHERE. Things are gonna go flying. Their inspire condition requiring a critical hit seems doable, but not having any control on the inspiration timing is pretty spooky, and the inspiration gives some pretty nice perks.

With some strong unique warband cards, only melee attacks, and no magic, they are pretty straightforward. Bring in lethal hexes and you will probably be able to send your opponents flying into deathtraps from across the board!
Also one of its fighters, when inspired, gets an area attack with cleave and 2 damage rolling 2 dice on hammers, what a beast!

====Lady Harrow’s Mournflight====
[[File:LadyHarrow’sMournflight.jpg|right|250px|Lady Harrow’s Mournflight]]

One of the warbands for the "Dreadfane" starter set. Now released outside USA in the Champions of Dreadfane box set. Lady Harrow's Mournflight is a 4 model warband, but they are the exact same as the easy to build banshees set. Each model has a variety of statlines and inspiration bonus, but all the models look pretty similar, so good luck memorizing who gets what. They did get the same ability as their smaller less choppy counterparts, and their inspiration mechanic is moving through an enemy. With solid stat lines across the board and a very reliable inspire mechanic, these girls lend themselves to being reliable and deadly. With decent wound counts, high movement, and powerful unique warband cards, these girls probably got the better end of the stick in the dreadfane box set. Eventhough Lady Harrow's team can hit hard, they also got some strong objective-focused cards as well.

Oh and have fun remembering about the inspired Anguished One's special ability.

Seriously, print out all special abilities of your members with a big font and hold them in front of your eyes when playing this band.

[[File:Underworlds rippas.jpg|left|250px|Rippa's Snarlfang]]

====Rippa's Snarlfangs====
Despite the Gitmob being squatted, we still got a trio of new wolf rider models!

Rippa Narkbad is an exiled Grot from a tribe of wolf riding Grots who is convinced that one of Gorkamorka’s legendary axes is hidden within Beastgrave. He’s accompanied by his two closest mates and they all ride on venomous wolves called Snarlfangs.
Their warband is very fast and with the extra attacks of the wolves, can chew pretty quickly through every kind of enemy, specially horde warbands as the wolf doesn't have to target the same enemy that the gobbo. It must be noted that the wolves attacks are very random, so you'll be having tons of FUN* all the match.
It plays as one of the most aggressive warbands, having incredible mobility (5 when inspired) and a high number of attacks that let you do tons of damage.

Raw firepower of this warband is deadly to every opposing force. A solid counter is to stack a lot of 'after an attack action' reactions. After you get hit by a rider any such reaction can be used to block the agressor from following the first attack with his wolf's jaws.

====Hrothgorn's Mantrappers====
[[File:Hrogthgorn.jpg|right|250px|Hrothgorn]]
A big and hungry ogor, but don’t let this fool you; it's actually a 5 man warband plus a trap.

Hrothgorn is called Mollog 2.0 yet that is an incorrect statement. Mollog's Mob is a one member warband with a couple of liabilities standing back in your field, just waiting to die while Hrothgorn's Mantrappers is an actual 5 member warband in which everyone has a specific role to handle and they are all capable of actually achieving something before getting killed.

Watch out for 3 and 4 player games. Hrothgorn has a tendency to be seen as a mighty threat and everyone tends to team up to kill him first giving you a hard time having a fun, balanced and friendly game with your buddies. In reality Hrothgorn is not a god. He's powerful on offensive, yet has no movement shenanigans forcing you to think before acting and giving you a hard time if the opponent decides to stay back. Don't get lured into the trap yourself!

The good thing about Hrothgorn's threating presence on the battlefield is that when he's the target of attacks you can actually use your gobbos much more freely that you would assume you can and setting up traps and position them for when the real hunt begins. Bushwacka and Thwak are Hrothgorn's friends, much more than the sabretooth cat. Watch out for scything attacks tho.

====The Wurmspat====
[[File:Wurmspat.jpg|left|250px|Wusrmpat]]
A Nurgle sorceress called Fecula Flyblown accompanied by two Putrid Blightkings and a Retchling.

Their main gist is that they are tough, as in really tough, if they receive damage, they are capable of reducing it 1 point for every shield rolled up to a minimum of 1 damage, and then they have cards to discard that last damage point or heal, so you can keep laughing at your opponent trying to kill your guys.

They are also the first band to include "cycle" cards. Those are like longstanding effects to the field that buff your warband, from extra movement to less attack dice for adjacent enemies.

====Morgok's Krushas====
[[File:Morgoks_krushas.jpg|right|250px|morgok]]
Orruks come in for a second round, this time hopefully won't be as bad as it's first iteration, where Hakka and Basha were as dangerous as a fucking gobbo.

====Morgwaeth's Blade-Coven====
[[File:Daughter-of-Khaine.jpg|left|250px|daughters]]
Revealed at GAMA, this 5 grrrrils band stars Morgwaeth, the titular Hag Queen and leader, a Melusai Blood Stalker, a Sister of Slaughter and two Witch Aelves. No official release date known as of the time of writing, but supposedly it's going to be an aggressive warband.

===Direchasm Block===

====Myari's Purifiers====
Lumineth Realm-Lords warband.

====The Dread Paegant====
[[Slaanesh]] mortal warband, including what appears to be a [[Heresy|Chaos Dark (A)elf]] and a [[Slaangor]].

{{clear}}
{{Specialist-Games}}

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Games Workshop]]
[[Category:Specialist Games]]

Lumineth Realm-Lords

2020-09-06T09:13:25Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Lumineth Realm-Lords|Logo=Eltharion's essence.jpg|Alliance=Order|Motto=FOR <s>ULTHUAN</s> HYSH!!!!!}}
{{Topquote|The phoenix must burn to emerge.|Janet Fitch}}
{{Topquote|Have you heard of the High Elves?|Oblivion youtube video}}
{{Topquote|We must be swift as the coursing river. With all the force of a great typhoon. With all the strength of a raging fire. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!|Be <s>a Man</s> an Aelf}}
{{Topquote|MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!|Avalenor, the Stoneheart King}}
The Lumineth Realm-Lords (also known as '''High Elves 2.0''' and '''Lu-methheads''') are a bunch of stone and crystal obsessed elves residing in the Realm of [[Hysh]] and led by Teclis. Forced onto the defensive by Chaos, they harness the magic of their realm and refuse to go down with a fight... just like the High Elves of old, but without the "dying race" element (and the accompanying lore inconsistencies) and a surprising amount of Dorfiness, given their love of hammers, runic magic and elementals.

With a heavy Greek aesthetic, new model and the return of [[Eltharion]], good times are abound if you were a fan of the High Elves back in the world that was.

==History==
===Origins===
Once upon a time, [[Teclis]], [[Tyrion]], and [[Malekith|Malerion]] found a previously assumed dead [[Morathi]] who was very much alive, who then led the odd trio to the morbidly obese [[Slaanesh]] in a cave where they beat the shit out of him until he coughed up all of the Elven souls he had consumed after [[The End Times]]. A good chunk of these souls were given to Teclis, in order to recreate the High Elves of old and bring their race back to their former glory. The initial race that came from Teclis's attempts were the [[Idoneth Deepkin]] and, well... [[FAIL|He tried]].

This new batch of Aelves seem to have come out of the oven much better, far more sane and stable than any other Aelf so far. Given the Idoneth's hostile estrangement from Teclis and that the Lumineth fight side-by-side with him, relations between the two are... strange. In the Lumineth Battletome the Idoneth Deepkin are their only ally option, while in the Allegiance Matrix for multiplayer games in the General's Handbook they are listed as a Desperate Coalition (to put that in perspective, that's worse than the relationship between Khorne/Slaanesh or Tzeentch/Nurgle and is the only Desperate Coalition that isn't between factions from two entirely seperate Grand Alliances). Best explanation is that they do utterly despise each other, but realize there are WAY bigger threats to their own societies, so they begrudgingly tolerate each other for now.

Lumineth society was built on self-improvement, absurdly impractical headgear and the accumulation of wisdom, fueled by using the power of Aetherquartz to amplify their bodies and minds. However, in the typical elven arrogance, they assumed that because Slaanesh was imprisoned they no longer had to worry about Chaos and decided to abuse the Aetherquartz like [[Skaven]] to [[Warpstone]], leading them to be the butt of many jokes about drugs.

===Age of Chaos===
Unfortunately for the Lumineth, in conjunction with the elves' own hubris, Tyrion and Teclis were very hands-off about godhood after the civilization was built. As a result, the subtle whispers of the Dark Gods entered their minds, causing envy and bitter rivalry. The subsequent campaigns of defamation and sabotage culminated in a massive civil war called the Ocari Dara, or Spirefall. The entire realm of Hysh was devastated, as the Lumineth had a habit of inventing uber-spells and doomsday devices just to see if they could, justifying it by claiming they were too enlightened to ever use such weapons for evil (which they obviously weren't). To make matters worse, the overflow of passion, pride and obsession from the war became a beacon for Slaaneshi daemons, who then invaded Hysh and would've wiped them out if Tyrion hadn't personally intervened to save the last survivors.

Teclis searched for some way to save his race from themselves, and found it when he managed to commune with Celennar, the spirit of Hysh's moon. He taught the Lumineth a new way of self-discipline, where they would bond with the elemental spirits to gain their power and wisdom. This rearrangement of Lumineth society was called the Reinvention Wars, which lasted the remaining years of the Age of Chaos and is widely credited with preventing them from becoming extinct altogether.

===Age of Sigmar===
The Lumineth were mostly unseen during the Age of Sigmar, being too focused on rebuilding their own realm in order to care about the other races.

During the Time of Tribulations, Teclis predicted the upcoming Necroquake, and ordered the construction of Aetherquartz towers in order to mitigate its effects. While this helped protect the Lumineth cities from undead invasion, Teclis failed to predict the arrival of Endless Spells, which would become a common plague upon the already magically battered landscape of Hysh.

During a meeting between Teclis and the other Aelven gods, Morathi started claiming that Slaanesh will inevitably escape. While the other Aelven gods dismissed this as the rantings of a madwoman, Teclis took this seriously and decided that the Lumineth must end their isolationism in order to purge Chaos from other realms. This hasn't endeared them well with the other races of Order, as they tend to deploy their legions without permission or warning out of the arrogant assumption that the lesser races can't be trusted to solve their own problems (arrogant ''and'' hypocritical coming from the Lumineth, who [[Eldar|nearly caused their own extinction through selfish obsessions]]). <s>Although, it’s unlikely anyone truly has a problem with these guys showing up randomly to kill Chaos whatevers. Because duh.</s> Except for the fact that they have no problem with killing civilians and allies if they view it as necessary to cleanse Chaos, so yeah, understandable why people don’t like it when they come along unannounced. While the Stormcast have also used this approach, unlike the Stormcast the Lumineth haven't earned a good reputation in-universe, their timing is worse and they have a worse history with the whole nearly destroying themselves through infighting.

At some point, Teclis had found the remnants of [[Eltharion]]'s spirit as he was way too badass to be claimed by Nagash. After putting his soul back together, Teclis ordered armor and weapons made in the Yvressian style, found a dude who looked near identical to Eltharion, created a soulless clone of that guy's body and tried to shove our old boy's soul right in. Sadly, [[Arkhan the Black|Arkhan]] evidently cursed Eltharion so bad that any body his soul is put in crumples to dust, starting with the aforementioned souless clone. As Teclis cried like a bitch, he noticed that Eltharion's soul was able to inhabit the armor, turning him into [[Thousand Sons|a hollow suit of armor powered by light]]. Since then, Eltharion became one of the leaders of the Lumineth, as Teclis tries to figure out how to give him a normal body.

==Society==

The Lumineth themselves are split between numerous different kingdoms withing Hysh, known as the Ten Paradises. These Kingdoms each reside on a separate Island, which used to be one landmass before it was sundered in the Age of Chaos. The center Island is Xintil, where Teclis awoke in the Age of Myth and where most of the Sigmar worshiping mortals of Hysh live. Xintil is surrounded by eight islands, each ruled by a separate kingdom. Syar, Iliatha, Ymetrica and Zaitrec are known as the Teclian nations, essentially the Athens compared to the more Spartan Oultrai, Aurathrai, Helon and Alumnia who emulate Tyrion. Each has their own culture, such as Iliatha being matriarchal and doing some cloning shit.

These Lumineth have also come to treasure Aetherquartz, a crystal mineral native to their realm. These crystals gave their wearers great knowledge and power, but it also involves [[Eldar|sucking out their emotions and personalities - a sacrifice they consider worthwhile since unfettered emotions are the Dark Prince's favorite snack]]. In this way, they're similar to [[Stormcast Eternals|Sigmar's golden bois]] in that they're constantly approaching that point where they become effectively logic-driven and unfeeling automatons except these guys see it as an acceptable ending compared to the Stormcast's mad search to end the flaw. The emotions drained into the Aetherquartz are used as a source of power by the mages known as Scinari <s>Crack Whores</s> Cathallars, weaponizing their suppressed negative emotions to spread terror and despair among their enemies.

After the Reinvention Wars, an important part of their society has become the Aelementari Temples, cults dedicated to bonding with the landscape of Hysh, in the form of the rivers, winds, mountains or even the light of Hysh's sky (Zenith). To join these cults is extremely difficult; first one must abandon all worldly possessions, then spend years meditating and seeking oneness with the spirit of their chosen location. The final trial is fatal if the spirit deems the aspirant unworthy: those dedicated to the rivers must weigh themselves down and jump into the water, while those dedicated to the mountains must let themselves get buried alive. Yet if they survive, they gain new powers ([[Avatar: The Last Airbender|please tell me there is some legendary Aelf who has the powers of all the Aelementari.]]) While the mages get elemental magic, the warriors get more subtle powers, like the Stoneguard who can enter the "mountain stance" to become immovable bulwarks in battle. The Aelementari can also be petitioned to possess a construct body and directly fight with their disciples. The only Aelementari temple playable on tabletop so far are the mountain worshippers of the Alarith, who have taken a mountain yak called the "Ymetrican Longhorn" as their symbol, resulting in them being the butt of many cow jokes. The Aelementari Temples were intended to teach the Lumineth humility, and it half-worked; although their civilization no longer has the unchecked hubris that led to the Spirefall, many Lumineth have become humblebraggers under the impression that after the Reinvention they have successfully overcome all their flaws and created a perfect society. It seems that the arrogance of the (A)elves is the one flaw they can never overcome.

In terms of combat strategies and tactics, their design and combat is heavily reminiscent of Ancient Greek warfare combined with a bit of Roman. The traditional Spearmen, called the Vanari Auralan Wardens, are essentially hoplites, who form phalanxes to hold the enemy in place while the archers, mages and cavalry get set up to do their stuff. Each of these phalanxes are lead by a High Warden, essentially a Lochagos, who stands at the rear to make sure shit isn't going wrong. Most of these hoplites also adorn their shields with runes. These runes represent learning and enlightenment for the Realm Lords, but seem to be more for decoration than serving an actual battlefield purpose. These Wardens are also capable of forming into phalanxes called Shining Legions, difficult to harm but also slow. These legions are also present among their brethren who wield swords and bows. The battletome also mentions unseen scout, artillery and chariot units, as well as "Loreseekers" who are trained in both magic and melee. If you're familiar with the old High Elves roster you can probably predict what they're gonna be like.

==Great Nations==
Given the Teclis focus of their current lore, only the Teclian nations have been expressed in any detail.
*'''Ymetrica:''' A mountainous kingdom with a great dedication to the Alarith Temple. Were the first Lumineth kingdom to succesfully discover how to bond with the Aelementari, which they won't hesistate to remind you at any moment. Form the vanguard of Teclis' campaign to purify the Mortal Realms.
*'''Syar:''' The greatest craftsmen of the Lumineth, and the richest nation too. Created a lot of horrible weapons for the Ocari Dara, and swore to never create weapons again...until Teclis persuaded them that Chaos would win without their help. Just when they thought they were out, Chaos pulled them back in.
*'''Zaitrec:''' The land of master wizards, and thus the place where Teclis likes to hang out most. They worship Celennar even more than Teclis though, and if they ever get to meet Teclis they're more interested in what the spirit has to say, claiming "it is better to learn from the source". Teclis is secretly [[butthurt]] over this, much to Tyrion's amusement.
*'''Iliatha:''' This matriarchal kingdom revered women due to their belief that creating life was holy. However, they decided that the traditional method of childbirth was too gross for them, and invented a method to create clones by splitting souls. This lead to horrible excesses during the Ocari Dara, which were so dark that the other nations refuse to speak about it. Afterwards the technology was strictly regulated so that only one copy could be created per person, resulting in the majority of Iliatha's population consisting of soul-bound twins.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Aelve Spearmen.jpg|AELVES, WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION!?
File:Aelve Cav.jpg|Gee, I wonder what ancient civilization these guys where based on.
File:Elf_elite_guard.jpg|Heavy armor, hammers and a stone motif... [[Dwarfs (WFB)|where have I seen this before?]]
File:Eltharion AOS.jpg|I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, ARKHAN!
File:Befriending furries.jpg|'''Asserting dominance'''
File:Realm Lord Runes.jpg|No one tell the Dwarfs that the Elgi figured out how runes work....
File:Sitting Bull.jpg|An Alarith Stonemage. I wonder how Dwarfs would react to an elf controlling stone with magic.
File:Alarith.png|Alarith, Spirit of the Mountain. And you thought [[Settra the Imperishable|Settra]] had a lot of titles/aliases.
File:Scinari.jpg|A Scinari Cathallar. That's pronounced SIN-ar-ee CATH-ull-arr, according Geedubs themselves.
File:Sad Lady.jpg|She feels your pain.
File:Lumineth vs Khorne.jpg|A fun game of Whack-a-reaver
File:Minotaur mountain.jpg|Avalenor in all his red, stony glory.
File:Elf with heavy burden.jpg|[[Snowflame|Weaponized magic Crystal Meth]] (Doomrider approves).
File:Lumineth Box.jpg|Available now (quartz not accepted as an alternative to money)
</gallery>

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Games Workshop]]

{{Template:Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}

Lumineth Realm-Lords

2020-09-06T09:12:25Z

2001:8003:8419:8400:51A:8A29:E9F0:E6B:

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Lumineth Realm-Lords|Logo=Eltharion's essence.jpg|Alliance=Order|Motto=FOR <s>ULTHUAN</s> HYSH!!!!!}}
{{Topquote|The phoenix must burn to emerge.|Janet Fitch}}
{{Topquote|Have you heard of the High Elves?|Oblivion youtube video}}
{{Topquote|We must be swift as the coursing river. With all the force of a great typhoon. With all the strength of a raging fire. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!|Be <s>a Man</s> an Aelf}}
{{Topquote|MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!|Avalenor, the Stoneheart King}}
The Lumineth Realm-Lords (also known as '''High Elves 2.0''' and '''Lu-methheads''') are a bunch of stone and crystal obsessed elves residing in the Realm of [[Hysh]] and led by Teclis. Forced onto the defensive by Chaos, they harness the magic of their realm and refuse to go down with a fight... just like the High Elves of old, but without the "dying race" element (and the accompanying lore inconsistencies) and a surprising amount of Dorfiness, given their love of hammers, runic magic and elementals.

With a heavy Greek aesthetic, new model and the return of [[Eltharion]], good times are abound if you were a fan of the High Elves back in the world that was.

==History==
===Origins===
Once upon a time, [[Teclis]], [[Tyrion]], and [[Malekith|Malerion]] found a previously assumed dead [[Morathi]] who was very much alive, who then led the odd trio to the morbidly obese [[Slaanesh]] in a cave where they beat the shit out of him until he coughed up all of the Elven souls he had consumed after [[The End Times]]. A good chunk of these souls were given to Teclis, in order to recreate the High Elves of old and bring their race back to their former glory. The initial race that came from Teclis's attempts were the [[Idoneth Deepkin]] and, well... [[FAIL|He tried]].

This new batch of Aelves seem to have come out of the oven much better, far more sane and stable than any other Aelf so far. Given the Idoneth's hostile estrangement from Teclis and that the Lumineth fight side-by-side with him, relations between the two are... strange. In the Lumineth Battletome the Idoneth Deepkin are their only ally option, while in the Allegiance Matrix for multiplayer games in the General's Handbook they are listed as a Desperate Coalition (to put that in perspective, that's worse than the relationship between Khorne/Slaanesh or Tzeentch/Nurgle and is the only Desperate Coalition that isn't between factions from two entirely seperate Grand Alliances). Best explanation is that they do utterly despise each other, but realize there are WAY bigger threats to their own societies, so they begrudgingly tolerate each other for now.

Lumineth society was built on self-improvement, absurdly impractical headgear and the accumulation of wisdom, fueled by using the power of Aetherquartz to amplify their bodies and minds. However, in the typical elven arrogance, they assumed that because Slaanesh was imprisoned they no longer had to worry about Chaos and decided to abuse the Aetherquartz like [[Skaven]] to [[Warpstone]], leading them to be the butt of many jokes about drugs.

===Age of Chaos===
Unfortunately for the Lumineth, in conjunction with the elves' own hubris, Tyrion and Teclis were very hands-off about godhood after the civilization was built. As a result, the subtle whispers of the Dark Gods entered their minds, causing envy and bitter rivalry. The subsequent campaigns of defamation and sabotage culminated in a massive civil war called the Ocari Dara, or Spirefall. The entire realm of Hysh was devastated, as the Lumineth had a habit of inventing uber-spells and doomsday devices just to see if they could, justifying it by claiming they were too enlightened to ever use such weapons for evil (which they obviously weren't). To make matters worse, the overflow of passion, pride and obsession from the war became a beacon for Slaaneshi daemons, who then invaded Hysh and would've wiped them out if Tyrion hadn't personally intervened to save the last survivors.

Teclis searched for some way to save his race from themselves, and found it when he managed to commune with Celennar, the spirit of Hysh's moon. He taught the Lumineth a new way of self-discipline, where they would bond with the elemental spirits to gain their power and wisdom. This rearrangement of Lumineth society was called the Reinvention Wars, which lasted the remaining years of the Age of Chaos and is widely credited with preventing them from becoming extinct altogether.

===Age of Sigmar===
The Lumineth were mostly unseen during the Age of Sigmar, being too focused on rebuilding their own realm in order to care about the other races.

During the Time of Tribulations, Teclis predicted the upcoming Necroquake, and ordered the construction of Aetherquartz towers in order to mitigate its effects. While this helped protect the Lumineth cities from undead invasion, Teclis failed to predict the arrival of Endless Spells, which would become a common plague upon the already magically battered landscape of Hysh.

During a meeting between Teclis and the other Aelven gods, Morathi started claiming that Slaanesh will inevitably escape. While the other Aelven gods dismissed this as the rantings of a madwoman, Teclis took this seriously and decided that the Lumineth must end their isolationism in order to purge Chaos from other realms. This hasn't endeared them well with the other races of Order, as they tend to deploy their legions without permission or warning out of the arrogant assumption that the lesser races can't be trusted to solve their own problems (arrogant ''and'' hypocritical coming from the Lumineth, who [[Eldar|nearly caused their own extinction through selfish obsessions]]). <s>Although, it’s unlikely anyone truly has a problem with these guys showing up randomly to kill Chaos whatevers. Because duh.</s> Except for the fact that they have no problem with killing civilians and allies if they view it as necessary to cleanse Chaos, so yeah, understandable why people don’t like it when they come along unannounced. While the Stormcast have also used this approach, unlike the Stormcast the Lumineth haven't earned a good reputation in-universe, their timing is worse and they have a worse history with the whole nearly destroying themselves through infighting.

At some point, Teclis had found the remnants of [[Eltharion]]'s spirit as he was way too badass to be claimed by Nagash. After putting his soul back together, Teclis ordered armor and weapons made in the Yvressian style, found a dude who looked near identical to Eltharion, created a soulless clone of that guy's body and tried to shove our old boy's soul right in. Sadly, [[Arkhan the Black|Arkhan]] evidently cursed Eltharion so bad that any body his soul is put in crumples to dust, starting with the aforementioned souless clone. As Teclis cried like a bitch, he noticed that Eltharion's soul was able to inhabit the armor, turning him into [[Thousand Sons|a hollow suit of armor powered by light]]. Since then, Eltharion became one of the leaders of the Lumineth, as Teclis tries to figure out how to give him a normal body.

==Society==

The Lumineth themselves are split between numerous different kingdoms withing Hysh, known as the Ten Paradises. These Kingdoms each reside on a separate Island, which used to be one landmass before it was sundered in the Age of Chaos. The center Island is Xintil, where Teclis awoke in the Age of Myth and where most of the Sigmar worshiping mortals of Hysh live. Xintil is surrounded by eight islands, each ruled by a separate kingdom. Syar, Iliatha, Ymetrica and Zaitrec are known as the Teclian nations, essentially the Athens compared to the more Spartan Oultrai, Aurathrai, Helon and Alumnia who emulate Tyrion. Each has their own culture, such as Iliatha being matriarchal and doing some cloning shit.

These Lumineth have also come to treasure Aetherquartz, a crystal mineral native to their realm. These crystals gave their wearers great knowledge and power, but it also involves [[Eldar|sucking out their emotions and personalities - a sacrifice they consider worthwhile since unfettered emotions are the Dark Prince's favorite snack]]. In this way, they're similar to [[Stormcast Eternals|Sigmar's golden bois]] in that they're constantly approaching that point where they become effectively logic-driven and unfeeling automatons except these guys see it as an acceptable ending compared to the Stormcast's mad search to end the flaw. The emotions drained into the Aetherquartz are used as a source of power by the mages known as Scinari <s>Crack Whores</s> Cathallars, weaponizing their suppressed negative emotions to spread terror and despair among their enemies.

After the Reinvention Wars, an important part of their society has become the Aelementari Temples, cults dedicated to bonding with the landscape of Hysh, in the form of the rivers, winds, mountains or even the light of Hysh's sky (Zenith). To join these cults is extremely difficult; first one must abandon all worldly possessions, then spend years meditating and seeking oneness with the spirit of their chosen location. The final trial is fatal if the spirit deems the aspirant unworthy: those dedicated to the rivers must weigh themselves down and jump into the water, while those dedicated to the mountains must let themselves get buried alive. Yet if they survive, they gain new powers ([[Avatar: The Last Airbender|please tell me there is some legendary Aelf who has the powers of all the Aelementari.]]) While the mages get elemental magic, the warriors get more subtle powers, like the Stoneguard who can enter the "mountain stance" to become immovable bulwarks in battle. The Aelementari can also be petitioned to possess a construct body and directly fight with their disciples. The only Aelementari temple playable on tabletop so far are the mountain worshippers of the Alarith, who have taken a mountain yak called the "Ymetrican Longhorn" as their symbol, resulting in them being the butt of many cow jokes. The Aelementari Temples were intended to teach the Lumineth humility, and it half-worked; although their civilization no longer has the unchecked hubris that led to the Spirefall, many Lumineth are under the impression that after the Reinvention they have successfully overcome all their flaws and created a perfect society. It seems that the arrogance of the (A)elves is the one flaw they can never overcome.

In terms of combat strategies and tactics, their design and combat is heavily reminiscent of Ancient Greek warfare combined with a bit of Roman. The traditional Spearmen, called the Vanari Auralan Wardens, are essentially hoplites, who form phalanxes to hold the enemy in place while the archers, mages and cavalry get set up to do their stuff. Each of these phalanxes are lead by a High Warden, essentially a Lochagos, who stands at the rear to make sure shit isn't going wrong. Most of these hoplites also adorn their shields with runes. These runes represent learning and enlightenment for the Realm Lords, but seem to be more for decoration than serving an actual battlefield purpose. These Wardens are also capable of forming into phalanxes called Shining Legions, difficult to harm but also slow. These legions are also present among their brethren who wield swords and bows. The battletome also mentions unseen scout, artillery and chariot units, as well as "Loreseekers" who are trained in both magic and melee. If you're familiar with the old High Elves roster you can probably predict what they're gonna be like.

==Great Nations==
Given the Teclis focus of their current lore, only the Teclian nations have been expressed in any detail.
*'''Ymetrica:''' A mountainous kingdom with a great dedication to the Alarith Temple. Were the first Lumineth kingdom to succesfully discover how to bond with the Aelementari, which they won't hesistate to remind you at any moment. Form the vanguard of Teclis' campaign to purify the Mortal Realms.
*'''Syar:''' The greatest craftsmen of the Lumineth, and the richest nation too. Created a lot of horrible weapons for the Ocari Dara, and swore to never create weapons again...until Teclis persuaded them that Chaos would win without their help. Just when they thought they were out, Chaos pulled them back in.
*'''Zaitrec:''' The land of master wizards, and thus the place where Teclis likes to hang out most. They worship Celennar even more than Teclis though, and if they ever get to meet Teclis they're more interested in what the spirit has to say, claiming "it is better to learn from the source". Teclis is secretly [[butthurt]] over this, much to Tyrion's amusement.
*'''Iliatha:''' This matriarchal kingdom revered women due to their belief that creating life was holy. However, they decided that the traditional method of childbirth was too gross for them, and invented a method to create clones by splitting souls. This lead to horrible excesses during the Ocari Dara, which were so dark that the other nations refuse to speak about it. Afterwards the technology was strictly regulated so that only one copy could be created per person, resulting in the majority of Iliatha's population consisting of soul-bound twins.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Aelve Spearmen.jpg|AELVES, WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION!?
File:Aelve Cav.jpg|Gee, I wonder what ancient civilization these guys where based on.
File:Elf_elite_guard.jpg|Heavy armor, hammers and a stone motif... [[Dwarfs (WFB)|where have I seen this before?]]
File:Eltharion AOS.jpg|I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, ARKHAN!
File:Befriending furries.jpg|'''Asserting dominance'''
File:Realm Lord Runes.jpg|No one tell the Dwarfs that the Elgi figured out how runes work....
File:Sitting Bull.jpg|An Alarith Stonemage. I wonder how Dwarfs would react to an elf controlling stone with magic.
File:Alarith.png|Alarith, Spirit of the Mountain. And you thought [[Settra the Imperishable|Settra]] had a lot of titles/aliases.
File:Scinari.jpg|A Scinari Cathallar. That's pronounced SIN-ar-ee CATH-ull-arr, according Geedubs themselves.
File:Sad Lady.jpg|She feels your pain.
File:Lumineth vs Khorne.jpg|A fun game of Whack-a-reaver
File:Minotaur mountain.jpg|Avalenor in all his red, stony glory.
File:Elf with heavy burden.jpg|[[Snowflame|Weaponized magic Crystal Meth]] (Doomrider approves).
File:Lumineth Box.jpg|Available now (quartz not accepted as an alternative to money)
</gallery>

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Games Workshop]]

{{Template:Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}