2d4chan - User contributions [en]

Matthew Ward

2011-04-29T11:14:55Z

203.205.120.2: /* Trivia */

{{Fail}}
{{MattWard}}
[[Image:Matthew Ward.jpg|thumb|Behold, the [[FAIL|great]] [[Neckbeard|beast]] has come, [[C.S.Goto|destroyer of verisimilitude.]]]]

'''Matthew Ward''' (Commonly known as '''Matt Ward''') is a writer working for [[GW]], as well as the world's single largest [[Ultramarines|Ultrasmurfs]] fanboy.

There are few things so capable of inflicting apocalyptic rage in the 40k community writ large as this man. He is as hated by [[Space Marine]] players as much as he is loathed by [[Chaos Space Marines|Chaos Marine]] players (not quite as much as [[Gav Thorpe]] for Chaos players who made any use whatsoever of Daemons/Cultists/Variant faction rules, however). Necrons are terrified that he may be the one in charge of their update. He is as reviled by [[Tyranid]] and [[Imperial Guard]] players as he is despised by [[Tau]] and [[Dark Eldar]]. [[Ork]]s, [[Eldar]], and [[Witch Hunters|other]] [[Lost and the Damned|factions]] of the [[Warhammer 40,000|41st Millenium]] may normally wish nothing but to murder each other into oblivion, but the one thing virtually all will unite upon is their blinding fucking ''hate'' of Matt Ward, a burning rage so potent that it would give an [[Angry Marine]] pause.

Take [[C.S.Goto|C. S. Goto]] and give him [[Multilasers|carte blanche to play with the setting of the 41st millenium]]. You now know why Matt Ward is hated.

Actually - Nix that. Read Ward's shit long enough and you can't even see too much wrong with Goto. I mean, he seems like he's trying to keep things in context, he's just very confused about it and happens to [[Multilasers|write one word]] [[Lascannon|when he meant another.]] Plus he's got maybe a bit of an ego, sure, but Goto seems more like a newfag who refuses to admit he's a newfag, rather than someone who's decided that everyone has to indulge in his stupid [[Ultramarines|fantasies]]. He has ruined literally every codex he has ever written, and every single army he's come into contact with had had its fluff raped, been turned into an unstoppable table-destroying death-army, or more commonly, [[Blood Angels|both]].

He also makes a disturbing practice of having the [[Sisters of Battle]] get [[grimdark|killed horribly, often for the stupidest of reasons]], in just about [[Khornate Knights|every bit of]] [[fluff]] [[Blood Angels|he can get his claws into]], causing many to believe he does it as part of a bizarre, [[/d/|deviant sexual pathos]] - and he is believed by the bulk of [[/tg/]] to be one ''seriously'' [[Chris-Chan|sick fuck]].

==Overview and Analysis==
[[File:Kharn.jpg|250px|right|thumb|Email this image to Matt, make him rage.]]
There are two things Matt Ward is infamous for: atrocious fluff-writing that induces vomitting and making fucking broken rulesets for armies.

Your classic case of an ascended fanboy; Matt is a stereotypical over-promoted moron who chooses to change things not based on any respect or reverence for the franchise he works for, but rather to reflect his own personal agenda and how he feels things ''should'' be. Initially this was primarily what he was known for, but in more recent times he's gotten better with the [[crunch]] in exchange for creating fluff so horrifically stupid that it is worthy of [[C.S.Goto|C. S. Goto]]. Note that whilst his work on crunch has improved, he is known to add a bit of brain-igniting retardation here and there just because he sucks that badly.

In essence, [[/tg/]] regards him as a living embodiment of every giant fuck-up [[Games Workshop]] has ever made.

Overhyping a single faction to the exclusion of all others, constantly blowing stories so far out of proportion that they lose all context or believability (especially in the face of previous fluff), constantly trying to one-up his last bullshit story with an even-less-believable story, and not really giving a damn about what any of the other players think of what he does, Matt's abuses have been so consistent and numerous that it has caused several posters on /tg/ to say that Matt Ward is the herald of the impending demise of Warhammer 40k - as if he were one of the horsemen of the apocalypse, riding ahead on an endless wave of Space Marine releases that will inexorably alienate every player of every single faction - both those being updated and not - until each give up in disgust and rage and leave the hobby.

In some anti-Ward threads, someone (whom much of /tg/ strongly believes to be Ward himself - and there's ''considerable evidence'' to support this theory), has begun claiming that everybody is just hopping on-board a Matt Ward [[Looted|hate-bandwagon]]. There's even a picture of a bunch of anons riding on a wagon with Ward's face on it, blaming Ward for everything from the [[Monty Python|Judean People's Front]] to head lice.

To be fair: It is undeniably true that [[/tg/]] hates Ward so much that most of us are willing to blame anything on him - the man is basically Satan to every fa/tg/uy who used to love the 40k fluff. However, the fact that the defender(s) of Ward are referring to the hate of Matt Ward as "bandwagoning" is extremely telling - how widely-hated does a man have to be, and how deeply-loathed before people feel the need to identify themselves as non-conformist groups of Matt Ward Not-Haters? The answer, of course, is obvious to anyone browsing /tg/: at this time, there ''are'' no remaining Ward sympathizers; at best there are indifferent/neutral parties who have accepted Ward's various crimes and who hope to move on with their lives and start families some day.

For an accurate, if satirical portrait of the man, examine [[Who Watches Them]]?

==Gallery of Disaster==
[[Image:Wardass.jpg|thumb|Artist's rendition of the Ultramarines honouring their True Spirtual Liege. Also: Proof that [[Roboute Guilliman|Rawbutt Girlyman]] was a transvestite.]]

Below is an ongoing list of Matt Ward's considerable fucktardedness in a concise, easy-to-read format. Feel free to add further examples...

* Responsible for the [[Warhammer]] Fantasy Battles [[Daemon]] Codex, which is considered by most players to be the single most game-breaking army list in WHFB history. Matt purportedly set the codex up to be this cheese specifically because he felt Daemons should just be awesome like that. Completely shattered the general game balance and is largely considered the reason he's not allowed to write codices for WHFB anymore.

* Responsible for widely-ridiculed and openly-despised Fifth Edition verison of ''Codex: Space Marines'', which is basically a Codex full of [[Ultramarines]] [[Twilight|fanfiction]], portraying the Ultramarines as second to the [[Emprah]] in damned-near all regards, and that all Space Marines view [[Roboute Guilliman]] as their spiritual liege. Even in the face of their own Primarchs. [[Space Wolves| Any]] [[Black Templars| who]] [[Dark Angels|don't]] [[Salamanders|are]] [[Raven Guard|clearly]] [[Imperial Fists|deviants]] [[Blood Ravens|on]] [[White Scars|their]] [[Iron Hands|way]] [[Crimson Fists|out]], no matter how they outnumber the Ultramarines. In some cases, certain special characters are "rumored" to rival (if not [[troll|exceed]]) ''the motherfucking Emperor's'' power. Did we mention that [[FAIL|Matt Ward plays Ultramarines]]?

* Responsible for the equally-ridiculed and openly-despised Fifth Edition release of ''Codex: Blood Angels'', which brought us the cheese of deep-striking Land Raiders and Flying Librarian Dreadnoughts, both two of the most absolutely broken things ever put to tabletop, and proof that [[Games Workshop]] hasn't learned a fucking thing from the WHFB Daemon Codex disaster. The resulting [[RAGE|bullshit]] from this Codex has made players nostalgic for when [[Necron]] march of doom and [[Fish of Fury]] were the extent of their problems. Don't worry though, he ruined the fluff, too: He's also responsible for the fluff in the aforementioned Codex that has caused [[/tg/]] to announce that the Blood Angels and Necrons are totally Super Secret Pony Princess Unicorn Best Friends Forever, seeing as how Matt Ward depicts ''[[rage|the two factions teaming up to take down the Tyranids and then peacefully parting ways afterwards]]''.

* Created the atrocious ''Codex: Grey Knights'', which is so bad as to get its own entry below.

* Is <s>allegedly</s> going to be doing the upcoming ''Codex: [[Black Templars]]''. Considering the Black Templars were one of the chapters who told Rowboat Girlyman to take his codex and shove it (along with the [[Raven Guard]]), and Matt's long-standing tradition of fucking over anyone who dares disparage his [[Roboute Guilliman|spiritual liege]], one wonders how hard Matt Ward is going to screw the Templars over.

* Is rumored to be the one to write the ''Codex: [[Necrons]]''. Since the Necrons managed to defeat the Ultramarines in a battle once, and the fact that Matt Ward will pretty much fuck over everything he writes about, the Necrons stood in silent horror. [[Rage|Ohh yeah, did we forget to mention that he had the Blood Angels team up with a Necron tombworld to destroy a hive fleet of Tyranids and then they just peacefully parted afterwards?]]

==Codex: Grey Knights==
[[Image:CryingKnight.jpg|thumb|We feel his pain. :(]]
As of February 27, 2011, he was known to be writing the [[Grey Knights]] codex. /tg/ cringed in horror.

One big question about writing this codex was, if the Ultramarines (his favorite chapter) are already the best out there and their fluff is overdone to the point of enciting Khorne Berserker-esque rage from [[Reasonable Marines]], how the hell is Matt going to write about the Grey Knights, a chapter that is literally, in canon, the best of the fucking best?

A bit of leaked fluff gave us the answer: he'll do it like the total fucking asshole that he is.

Gray Knights roam around carving their names in the daemon hearts of daemon primarchs, an act unthinkable until Matt Ward said that it was done. They burned down the gardens of Nurgle, killed Greater Daemons on their own turf, and destroyed Daemon Worlds. All in the warp.
[[File:Wardknight.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Fucking Dreadknights...]]
He also undid 10+ years of canon in stating that Grey Knights armies can take Daemonhosts, which are daemonically-possessed individuals capable of using extremely powerful psychic powers. Formerly these units were the exclusive property of Radical Inquisitors (and the only real advantage they had to be perfectly frank), and Grey Knights rather notoriously had nothing but hatred for these creatures. Making things all the more [[FAIL|fun]], Matt removed Daemonhunters as Allies and Inducted Force rules - ergo ensuring that Daemonhunter armies that relied on not-Grey Knights were left with no choice but to buy all-new models or go for dramatically-weaker force compositions.

Oh, and there's also [[Khornate Knights]], which kind of deserves its own entry. Apparently, Matt Ward thinks that the '''Grey Knights should be susceptible to falling to Chaos. '''

Oh, and Grey Knights have no problems with Radical Inquisitors using Daemon Weapons now. Additionally gone is the "reasons that the Ordo Malleus may fight this faction" list, which was well-suited to lighter games and for those setting up campaigns, furthering the meme that the entire new Codex was nothing more than an "I Win at Everything Forever" tournament-level army list.

Finally, he gave them Exosuits after watching the climax to ''Aliens.'' Even the Tau winced and looked away in horror.
Which, when combined with his utter disregard for previous editions wording on entries about the personal teleporter (''unit type becomes jump infantry'') means at least a few wankers will be trying to cite the teleporter Dreadknight, blathering on about RAW, as jump infantry for purposes of cramming it in a Stormraven. Complete. Fucking. Bullshit.

That sound you heard was your brain shifting without the clutch. Like everything Matt Ward produces, it's stupid, ignorant, makes no sense, and gives a giant "go fuck yourself" to the WH40K community: Meaning it's exactly what we've all come to expect out of Matt ''"I'm a Giant Faggot"'' Ward.

Sadly, it wasn't just the fluff. The crunch is nearly as bad.

Grey Knight Marines that, at twenty points a pop, are nearly triple the cost-effectveness of any other marines. Feel No Pain on two-wound Terminators. Commanders out-CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED-ing [[Creed]] and being able to scout d3 units as opposed to one. Rad Grenades which reduce the defending squad's toughness by one for the round, and which ''are'' factored for instant death, unlike any other toughness-affecting items (Mark of Nurgle for example), basically guaranteeing that a GK unit wins combat in most circumstances.

Also, this imbecile made available wargear for thwarting Plasma weapons, since that was apparently "too good" against Terminators for Matt Ward. Bearing in mind that Imperial factions make up a sizable portion of 50% or so of the playerbase (Chaos, Space Marines, Imperial Guard, etc), the effect of this item also covers Tau plasma weapons, which means the usual means for popping high-value jackasses like Terminators with Crisis Suits no longer is viable. Further, the text doesn't specifically state whether or not it affects weapons other than the obvious Plasma Pistol/Rifle/Cannon options - after all, plasma isn't a rules-specific quality of a weapon like Melta - meaning that the effect could theoretically apply to Tyranid Bio-Plasma and roughly 75% of the Tau arsenal, including but not limited to: Pulse Rifles, Pulse Carbines, Burst Cannons...

Regardless of what weapons get affected, the result is the same - the unit with the Plasma Syphon and any allied unit within 12" treats all plasma shots fired at it/them as if they were BS1, ergo making Plasma weapons virtually useless - even spammy ones like the [[Leman Russ Battle Tank|Leman Russ Executioner]] - against a solid Grey Knight list, and removing what is otherwise one of the few tried-and-proven weapons to counter Terminators from consideration. To put that in perspective, you may reasonably expect an Ordos Xenos Inquisitor equipped with this to be able to survive a shot from a [http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Stormblade Stormblade] and guard a bunch of Terminators from the same. The entire force comprises units that pack Force Weapons, ergo guaranteeing that armies that rely on big, scary, multi-wound models are at a complete disadvantage.

'''TL;DR:''' The only armies consistently able to beat the new army list are mass-heavy armies (Orks, Guard), ones loaded with Poison (Dark Eldar) and other Grey Knights.

==The Damning Evidence==

[[Image:Zeist.png|right|thumb|Indisputable proof that Matt Ward is going to a very special place in Hell when he dies.]]

Still not convinced that Matt Ward needs to be stopped? Just turn to page 48 in your copy of ''Codex: Space Marines'' and read the title you find at the top of the page:

::'''The Zeist Campaign'''

That's right. Matt Ward put a fucking reference to [[Shit twinkie|''Highlander 2: The Quickening'']] into the Space Marines codex. That's how much he hates you. Hate him back.

==Trivia==
[[Image:SelfAggrandizement.jpg|right|thumb|Matt Ward in his fortress of solitude, jerking off to Ultramarines Porn.]]
* He is believed to be the pen-name of [[C.S.Goto|C. S. Goto]]. You didn't think his works were this bad by coincidence, did you?
* /tg/ has an ongoing betting pool on how long it's going to be before some enraged [[Neckbeard]] tries to kill him. Hopefully, it won't be long now, and someone reduces this fucktard into a pile of steaming gore.
* Long-time Ultramarines players affiliated with Games Workshop, such as Matt Hudson, reportedly strongly disagreed with Matt Ward's fanboyism and tried to stop it, to no avail.
* /tg/ also has an ongoing betting pool on whether or not the would-be assassin will, in fact, be an Ultramarines player (who didn't play the UM because of the "Spiritual Liege"), enraged by what Matt Ward caused.
* Ergo Matt Hudson has 2:1 odds on being Matt Ward's assassin.
* He has thus far destroyed every single codex whose fluff he has touched, and often left ridiculously-imbalanced shit in its wake. <s>Should the new Grey Knights Codex be as bullshit as Codex: Blood Angels was, Matt Ward will thus far be 4 for 4 in making books unilaterally loathed by the community.</s> Nevermind, Matt Ward is universally hated now.
* His name, "Matthew," is spelled with two of the letter 't'. This is because the 't' stands for "terrible".
* Matt Ward is actually a writhing pile of maggots hidden in a suit of human skin. The maggots lay eggs in the food around the Games Workshop offices, and when they hatch the tiny creatures burrow straight into the brains of anyone unfortunate enough to have eaten them. This is why he still has a job writing codices.
* He regularly prowls /tg/, acting as the one guy in every thread rolling in a sea of hatred for Matt Ward who will actually take the time to defend Matt Ward. Normally, he is spotted and recognized instantly by every other poster.
* Matt Ward's office contains a wall of posters declaring his greatness to himself. See picture at right.
* In a decade, Matt Ward will have delusions of grandeur so large he will actually write himself into the fluff as the reincarnated Emperor. This will be what finally makes all the races of 40k unite in the face of such unspeakable evil. With luck, this will finally get GW to stop letting him write shit, retconn EVERYTHING he wrote out of existence, issue an order that anyone who starts to follow that path again will be fired, and perhaps move the plot along.
* He has also managed to fuck up growing facial hair.
* Has managed to strike terror into the soulless Necron forces by being ''rumored'' to be in charge of writing their codex.
* Some speculate that Matt Ward's rampant faggatory will be the catalyst for change in the WH40K universe, where his horrid 'dex writing skills will eventually affect [[GW]]'s profits and the board of directors will eventually boot his fat ass off the company and GW will then start making WH40K awesome again by re-writing the codices Ward ruined for the better and actually progressing the storyline to attract the old crowd again. Another is that the board of directors will still ignore him and WH40K will eventually degrade into a Ultramarinehammer 40K and 99% of it's playerbase will quit the damn game, leaving WH40K to rot and be but another obscure tabletop game that's played for nostalgia's sake.
*GAMES WORKSHOP, LISTEN TO YOUR SWEATY NECKBEARD CUSTOMERS: GET. RID. OF. MATT. WARD.
*If you see Matt Ward in person, break his fingers. Show /tg/ your paypal account. Profit.
*Matt Ward seems to have a religious fetish of hating on any chapter that ''dared'' give his Spiritual Liege the finger, and as such, he openly dicks the [[Black Templars]] and [[Raven Guard]] in any work they appear in that he has any creative control over.
*It's also possible he hates those because their armor is black and Matt is a closet racist.
*Matt Ward seems to have Sisters of Battle getting butchered a ''lot'' in his fluff.
*Given his aforementioned possible racism and hatred of the Sisters of Battle, experts on /tg/ strongly suggest that Matt Ward may, in fact, be [[Chris-Chan]].
* Long-time and much-loved Ultramarines writer Graham McNeill tried to correct some of the utter retardation Ward had inflicted on the chapter in the novel ''Chapter's Due'', which brought the Ultramarines down from [[Mary Sue]] status, had them take major losses, and had them being forced to get help from the Adeptus Mechanicus and [[Raven Guard]] to fight off 17,000 traitor marines attacking Ultramar. It was [[Awesome|fucking awesome]] and was a well-done example of humanizing the Ultramarines - but it managed to infuriate Matt Ward. In his next [[Blood Angels|codex]] Ward threw in a small moment about the daemon M'Kar - writing how he was in ''an entirely different part of the galaxy trying to corrupt Mephiston on the same time he was supposedly attacking Ultramar'' as well as ''alive and well rather than being stabbed to death by Calgar.'' In summary: Ward fought the best effort so far to correct the [[Mary Sue]] bullshit brought upon the Ultramarines by Ward himself, and attempted to get ''the entire thing declared non-canon''.
* Secretly, beneath his many layers of salt encrusted shirts, Ward's body is covered in luxurious thick orange fur.

==TL;DR==
Matthew Ward is made of [[Skub|skub]] and [[Derp|derp]], wrote four Codices which are all rightfully skub, and Geims Werkshoop appears to have no intention of [[C.S.Goto|stopping him]], which is strange considering that even the ever necrotic [[GW]] board of directors should have noticed that their profits and fanbase have been sliding steadily downward since Matt Ward came in. <strike>HOW DARE YOU COMPARE SKUB AND WARD!? How dare you soil the image of Derp?!</strike> The only two beings anywhere that are rightfully skub-level rage generators are this twit or [[C.S.Goto|Goto]].

==Hey Matt Ward==
[[Macragge heresy]]

==Gallery of Fail==
<gallery>
Image:Ultracodex.jpg|Matt Ward masturbates furiously to this every single night.
Image:BA Codex.jpg|<strike>The most broken army list in 40k to date.</strike> Not since Grey Knights.
Image:SalaRage.jpg|This Marine has the right idea.
Image:THIS PLEASES HIM.png|THIS PLEASES HIM
Image:Matt Ward At Work.jpg|Coming to a Codex near you.
Image:MattMeme.jpg|This is believed to be true.
Image:DerpKnight.jpg|Actual Grey Knight unit.
Image:SpritualLiege.png|Spiritual Liege.
</gallery>

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]
[[Category:RAGE]]
[[Category:Writers]]
[[Category:FAIL]]

Grimdark Songwriting

2010-07-06T12:47:41Z

203.205.120.2: /* 'Twas The Night Before Emperor's Day */

Observing some striking correlations between the songs found in children's movies and the [[Warhammer 40,000|40K universe]], people on /tg/ sometimes adapt these songs to bring out their true [[grimdark]] potential. 
 
Don't spontaneously edit existing works without asking the author. Jerks.
 
 

==Disney Adaptations==
The most popular segment to be subjected to grimdarkification, Disney songs seem to lend themselves well to the total despair of the 41st millennium.

===Pocahontas: Savages===
-Part 1- 
[Inquisitor Ratcliffe] 
What can you expect 
From filthy little xenos? 
Their whole disgusting race is like a curse 
For them no tears we shed 
They're only good when dead 
They're vermin, as I said 
And worse 

[Grey Knights] 
They're aliens! Aliens! 

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe] 
They're not even human 

[Grey Knights] 
Aliens! Aliens! 

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe] 
Astartes to the fore! 
They're not like you and me 
Which means that we must be purge them 
We must sound the drums of war! 

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe+Grey Knights] 
They're aliens! Aliens! 
Filthy xenos rabble! 
Now we sound the drums of war! 

[Eldrad] 
This is as I saw 
With their absurd ambition 
The Mon-Keigh seek to conquer and destroy 

[Caerys] 
Beneath that armour plate 
They harbor only hate 

[Aspect Warriors] 
Killing them shall be a joy 

[Aspect Warriors] 
They're savages! Savages! 
Zeal and fervor blinds them 
Savages! Savages! 

[Caerys] 
Killers at the core 

[Exarch] 
They're a lesser race than us 
Which means they can't be trusted 

[Eldrad] 
We must sound the drums of war 

[Aspect Warriors] 
They're savages! Savages! 
Now we march against them 
And we sound the drums of war 

[Grey Knights] 
Aliens! Aliens! 

[Brother-Captain] 
Let's go kill a few, men! 

[Aspect Warriors] 
Savages! Savages! 

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe] 
Now it's up to you, men! 

[All] 
(Aliens) Savages! (Aliens) Savages! 
They are lesser creatures! 
Now we sound the drums of war! 

-Intermission- 

[Taldeer] 
They're going to kill him at sunrise, Grandmother Wraithbone. 

[Grandmother Wraithbone] 
You have to stop them! 

[Taldeer] 
I can't... 

[Grandmother Wraithbone] 
Child, remember your vision- 

[Taldeer] 
I was wrong, Grandmother Wraithbone, I followed the wrong path! I feel so lost... 

[Taldeer] 
The auspex... The spinning arrow... 

[Grandmother Wraithbone] 
It's the arrow from your vision! 

[Taldeer] 
I was right, it was pointing to him! Sunrise... 

[Grandmother Wraithbone] 
It's not too late, child! Let the spirits of the webway guide you! You know your path, child, now follow it! 

-Part 2- 
[Taldeer] 
Is there nothing I can do? 
Can I make these soldiers yield? 
Is it only death that waits 
Out there on the battlefield? 

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe] 
This will be the day ... 
(Let's go men!) 

[Eldrad] 
This will be the morning ... 
(Bring out the prisoner!) 

[Grey Knights and Aspect Warriors] 
We will see them dying in the dust 

[Taldeer] 
I don't know what I can do 
Still, I know that I must try 

[Grey Knights] 
Now we make them pay 

[Taldeer] 
Isha, help my feet to fly 

[Rangers] 
Now without a warning ... 

[Taldeer] 
Kurnous, help my heart be great 

[Grey Knights] 
Now we leave them blood and bone and rust 

[Taldeer] 
Spirits of the wraithbone cry ... 

[Grey Knights and Aspect Warriors] 
It's them or us 

[Taldeer] 
Please don't let it be to late ... 

[Grey Knights and Aspect Warriors] 
They're just a bunch of 
Filthy, stinking 

[Grey Knights] 
Aliens! 

[Aspect Warriors] 
Savages! 

[Grey Knights] 
Daemons! 

[Aspect Warriors] 
Primates! 

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe] 
Kill them! 

[Aspect Warriors] 
Savages! 

[Grey Knights] 
Aliens! 

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe+Grey Knights] 
What are we waiting for? 

[All] 
Destroy their evil race 
Until there's not a trace left 

[Taldeer] 
How loud are the drums of war 

[Grey Knights and Aspect Warriors] 
We will sound the drums of war 
(Savages! Savages!) 
Now, we sound the drums of war 
(Aliens! Aliens!) 

[Inquisitor Ratcliffe] 
They shall all succumb 
The rotten xenos scum 

[Aspect Warriors] 
Now we sound the drums ... of ... war! 

[Grey Knights] 
Of course it means the drums ... of ... war! 

[Taldeer] 
Is the death of all I love 
Carried in the drumming of war? 

[Taldeer] 
No! If you kill him, you'll have to kill me too. 

[Eldrad] 
Daughter, stand back. 

[Taldeer] 
I won't! I love him... 

===Jungle Book: I Wanna Be Like You===

Now I'm of caste Ethereal

Oh, a Tau VIP

I've reached the top and had to stop

And that's what botherin' me

I wanna be a man, gue'la

And stroll right onto Terra

And be able to approach the Golden Throne

And end this warring era!

Oh, oobee doo

I wanna be like you

I wanna walk like you

Talk like you, too

You'll see it's true

A xenos like me

Can learn to be human too

Gee, mister Aun

You're doin' real good

Now here's your part of the deal, cuz

Lay the secret on me of man's psyker powers

But I'm not a psyker!

Now don't try to kid me, gue'la

I made a deal with you

What I desire is man's psychic power

To make my dream come true

Give me the secret, gue'la

Clue me what to do

Give me the power of man's warp flower

So I can be like you

===The Great Mouse Detective: The World's Greatest Criminal Mind===
[Ratigan] 
My friends, we are about to embark on the most odious, the most evil, the most diabolical scheme of my illustrious career. A crime to top all crimes, a crime that will live in infamy!

Tomorrow evening, our beloved planetary governess celebrates her diamond jubilee. And, with the enthusiastic help of our good friend Magos Flaversham, it promises to be a night she will never forget. Her last night, and my first, as supreme ruler of all Londinium Prime!

From the brain that brought you the Black Bell Caper
The head that made headlines on every dataslate
And wondrous things like the Gunmetal Job
That cunning display that made all hivers sob

Now comes the real tour de force
Tricky and wicked, of course!
My earlier crimes were fine for their times
But now that I’m at it again
An even grimmer plot has been simmering
In my great criminal brain

[Chorus] 
Even meaner? You mean it?
Worse than the widows and orphans you drowned?
You’re the best of the worst around
Oh Ratigan
Oh Ratigan
The rest fall behind
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
Lord Tzeentch’s greatest criminal mind!

[Ratigan] 
Ratigan (speaking)
Thank you, thank you. But it hasn’t all been Amasec and Caviar. I’ve had my share of adversity, thanks to that miserable second-rate inquisitor, Basil of Baker Hive! For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans. I haven’t had a moment’s peace of mind. But now, all that’s in the past! This time, nothing, not even Basil can stand in my way! All will bow before me!

[Chorus] 
Oh Ratigan
Oh Ratigan
You’re tops and that’s that
To Ratigan
To Ratigan

[Bartimus] 
To Ratigan, the sector's greatest Khornate.

[Ratigan] 
What was THAT?! WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!

[Mutant 1] 
Oh, he didn't mean it my lord.

[Mutant 2] 
I-it was just a slip of one of his tongues!

[Ratigan] 
I am NOT A KHORNATE!

[Mutant 3] 
'Course you're not, you're Tzeentchian!

[Mutant 4] 
Yeah, that's right, Tzeentchian!

[Mutant 5] 
A really angry Tzeentchian!

[Ratigan] 
SILENCE!!
Oh my dear Bartimus, I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me...you know what happens when someone upsets me...
I trust there will be no further interruptions. And now, as you were singing...?

[Chorus] 
Even louder!
We'll shout it!
No one can doubt what we know you can do
You’re more evil than even you
Oh Ratigan
Oh Ratigan
You’re one of a kind
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
Lord Tzeentch’s greatest criminal mind!

===The Lion King: Be Prepared===
[Ghazghkull] 
I NEVA FOUGHT YA GROTS WUZ ESSETCHUL

YOUZ RUNTY, AN' UNSPEEKABLY WEAK

BUT ME FINKS YOUZ GOT SUM POTENTCHUL

IF WAAGH IS WOT YOU REELY SEEK

[Ghazghkull] 
'S KLARE FROM YER VAKANT EXPRESHUNS

DA ORK IS NOT ALL ON OP’STARES

BUT WEZ TALKIN' BOSSES AN' SUCCESSUNS

EVA YOUZ KENT BE CUGHT UNAWARES!

[Ghazghkull] 
SO PREPARE FOR DA FIGHT OVVA LOIFETIME

PREPARE FOR SENSHANAL NOOZ

A SHINY NEW ERA

‘S STOMPIN’ NEARA

[Boyz] 
But ‘ere getting shot op!

[Ghazghkull] 
JUS’ LISSIN YA SQUIG GOB!

[Ghazghkull] 
AH KNO DIS SOUNDS SORTID,

BUT YOUZ GON BE REWARDID

WHEN AT LAST AH'M GIVVIN MY TEEF

WAAAAGH WE FINALY DARED

BE PREPARED!!!

[Boyz] 
Yeah! Be prepared! Wez gon be prepared! ...Fer wot?

[Ghazghkull] 
DEFF OV DA BOSS!

[Boyz] 
Why? Did da boss say so?

[Ghazghkull] 
NO YA GROTS, SES MORK. AN' GORK TOO!

[Boyz] 
Great ideah! Who ned a boss! No Boss! No Boss!

Waagh--Waagh-Waagh--Waaagh-Waaagh!

[Ghazghkull] 
IDIUTS! DERE WILL BE A BOSS!

[Boyz] 
But youz sed...

[Ghazghkull] 
AH WILL BE BOSS! WAAAGH WIW ME AND YOUZ NEVA GON BE KRAMPED AGAIN!

[Boyz] 
Yay! Awwwwwwroight! 'ail to da Boss!

[Chorus] 
'AIL TO DA BOSS

'AIL TO DA BOSS!!!

SEEMS DAT WE'LL SOON BE KONNEKTID

TO A BOSS WHO'LL BE ALL TIME ADORD

[Ghazghkull] 
OV’KOURSE, KVID PRO KVO, YOUZ EXPECTID

TO BRING CERTAIN DUTYZ ONBOARD

DA FUCHA IZ LITTERD WIW TROPHIES

AN DOUGH BIGGEST BOSS AH 'ILL BE

DA POINT DAT AH MUST EMFASAZ ES:

YA WON'T GET TA WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH WIWOUT ME!!!!

[Ghazghkull] 
SO GIT PREPARED FOR DA WAAAAAAGH OV’ DA CENTURY! 
[Chorus] 
(Oooh!) 
[Ghazghkull] 
BE PREPARED FOR DA BRUTALEST KUNNIN 
[Chorus] 
(Oooh Waagh, Waagh, Waagh!) 
[Ghazghkull] 
MASSIVELY CHOPPY! 
[Chorus] 
(We’ll haf Waagh!) 
[Ghazghkull] 
DED BIG AN’SHOOTY! 
[Chorus] 
(En’less Waagh!) 
[Ghazghkull] 
CRED’IBLY STOMPY! 
[Chorus] 
(‘Ere we go!) 
[Ghazghkull] 
WILL MAKE SURE THAT ME! 
[Chorus] 
(Fo’ da Waagh!) 
[Ghazghkull] 
BE DA BOSS UNDISPUTED 
[Chorus] 
(Aaaaaaah...) 
[Ghazghkull] 
RESPECTID, SALUTID 
[Chorus] 
(...aaaaaaah!) 
[Ghazghkull] 
AN' SEEN FER DA BOSS DAT AH AM 
[Chorus] 
(Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo) 
[Ghazghkull] 
YES MA' CHOPPAS AN SHOOTAS ARE BEARED
BE PREPARED!!!

[All] 
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

=== Aladdin: A Whole New World ===
[Ghazghkull] 
I’ll kill da ooniverse! 
Burn’s it, smash’s it, stomp’s it! 
Tell me Yarrick now when’s did I last 
Get’s a nice surprise? 

[Yarrick] 
Well, just open your eyes! 

[Ghazghkull] 
Look at all of dese wonders! 
So much chance ‘ere for plunders 
On a mighty fighitn ride! 
Armageddon! 
With kool, amazin rockrete pits 
Not normal humie runts 
An’ no weak punts 
Or tribes of smaller orkish gits 

[Yarrick] 
Armageddon! 
A wondrous place of giant hives 
Where billions of souls 
Live like moles 
Never see the sky in all their lives 

[Ghazghkull] 
Never da sky in all dere lives 

[Yarrick] 
Unbelievable war 
Orks coming on them like rain 
Fighting, dying and much pain 
Through deserts of blackened waste 
Armageddon! 

[Ghazghkull] 
Don’t you dare leave dis place! 

[Yarrick] 
A hundred million fallen souls 

[Ghazghkull] 
I’s wants you to stay ‘ere 

[Yarrick] 
There’s so much shooting here, 
And so much fear 
I won’t ever leave this war-torn world 

[Ghazghkull] 
Armageddon 

[Yarrick] 
I think I am stuck here 

[Ghazghkull] 
Wit new fun chances of fightin 

[Yarrick] 
Everyday it gets harder 

[Both] 
I’ll chase you, gun in hand 
Across this land 
Let me share Armageddon 
with you 

[Ghazghkull] 
Armageddon 

[Yarrick] 
Armageddon 

[Ghazghkull] 
Dat’s where I waaaagh 

[Yarrick] 
That’s where I stand 

[Ghazghkull] 
A fight at hand! 

[Yarrick]: 
On this black sand 

[Both] 
So don’t you leave! 

=== Mulan: I'll Make a Tau Out of You ===

Let's begin your training - to defeat the Orks 
Did they send me Fio'las when I asked for Shas? 
The orks will try to kill us all 
But they will hit an endless wall 
Mister, I'll make a tau from you all 

Patient as a gun drone 
But on plasma within 
Once you aim your rifle 
You are sure to win 
You're a spineless, mob of idiots 
And you haven't got a clue 
Somehow I'll make a tau out of you 

I'm never gonna catch my breath 
I bet I'm gonna get us all shot 
Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym 
This guy's got 'em scared to death 
I bet I'm gonna get us all caught 
Now I really wish that I knew how to swim 

(Chorus:) 
Be a tau 
We must be sleek as the Barracuda 
Be a tau 
With all the force of a orca dropship 
Be a tau 
With all the strength of a mighty railgun 
Magnificent as the bright side of the good 

Time is racing toward us till the Orks arrive 
Heed my every order and you might survive 
You're a pain to me, a bane to me 
So pack up, deport you're through 
How could I make a tau out of you? 

(Chorus:) 
Be a tau 
We must be swift as the Barracuda 
Be a tau 
With all the force of a Orca dropship 
Be a tau 
With all the strength of a mighty railgun 
Magnificent as the bright side of the good 

(Chorus:) 
Be a tau 
We must be swift as the Barracuda 
Be a tau 
With all the force of a Orca Dropship 
Be a tau 
With all the strength of a mighty railgun 
Magnificent as the bright side of the good 

=== Beauty and the Beast: Angron ===
[Kharn:] Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Angron 
Without a good war to wage 
Every guy here'd love to be you, Angron 
Even when frothing with rage 
Every single World Eater was sired by you 
Every man before you shall bow 
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you 
And it's not very hard to see how 

No one's slick as Angron 
No one's sick as Angron 
No one wields a chainaxe quite as quick as Angron 
For there's no man around half as hearty 
Perfect, a prime specimen 
You ask any Adeptus Astartes 
And they'll tell you whose Chapter they want to be in 

[Berzerkers:] No one's been like Angron 
Had thick skin like Angron 
[Kharn:] No one's able to create a din like Angron 
[Angron:] As a Primarch, yes, I'm intimidating 
[Berzerkers:] My what a guy, that Angron 

Give five "hurrahs!" 
"For the Skull Throne!" 
[Kharn:] Angron is the best 
And the rest are all boned 

[Berzerkers:] No one fights like Angron 
Or ignites like Angron 
[Champion:] In a riot nobody incites like Angron 
[Daemonettes:] For there's no one as fearsome or angry 
[Angron:] My raw energy cannot be caged 
[Kharn:] Not a bit of him's scraggly or mangy 
[Angron] (That's right!) 
I'm bursting with boundless and unbridled rage 

[Berzerkers:] No one hits like Angron 
[Raptor:] Fights in pits like Angron 
[Kharn:] In a BloodBowl match no one can blitz like Angron 
[Angron:] I'm especially fond of obliterating 
(Kablooey!) 
[Berzerkers:] Ten points for Angron! 

[Angron:] In the arena I received nerve implants 
So I'd fight with no fear or remorse 
So I gave my legion the same nerve implants 
Now they are an unstoppable force 

[Berzerkers:] No one shoots like Angron 
No one loots like Angron 
[Kharn:] Crushes skulls under ceremite boots like Angron 
[Angron:] I use enemy heads for my decorating 
[Berzerkers:] My what a guy, Angron! 

=== Mulan: A God Worth Killing For ===

[Pre-heresy marines] 
It’s a long time since we’ve seen a sign of our home 

[Angron] Like a mindless grox, I guess we are doomed to roam 

[Pre-heresy marines] 
Amidst the clash of wars, our orders, are easy to ignore 

[Horus] 
Hey! 
Imagine bowing to a god worth KILLING for? 

[Pre-heresy marine] 
Huh? 

[Horus] 
That’s what we need, a god worth KILLING for! 

[Fulgrim] 
I want one with a perfect form with skin that has no scars 

[Angron] 
My god will have a pair of horns, with hide as red as Mars 

[Magnus] 
I couldn’t care less about war or about dreams 
It all depends on sneaky schemes 

[pre-heresy marines] 
Maim kill burn 
Ah! 

[Angron] 
And the other Legions think they’re fighting for Man? 

[Horus] 
But they still ignore the rewards of a god’s plan 

[pre-heresy marines] 
Right now all we do for our cause is fight chore after chore 

[Horus] 
What do we need? 

[pre-heresy marines] 
A god worth KILLING for! 

[Angron] 
I think my god demands skulls 

[Magnus] 
Mine leaves no chance unmined 

[Alpharius] 
Uh…How bout a...god that destroys all 
Exterminates mankind? 

[All] 
Neh… 

[Mortarion] 
My many pleas grant me disease that makes stomachs stir 

[Angron] 
My pleas make me a blood-mad KILLER 

[Horus] 
I’ve a god who can mix his fate into all lands 

[Angron] 
But I’ve a god who has such destructive hands 

[pre-heresy marines] 
When we have our gods not one of us will need the Emperor 

[Horus] 
What do we need? 

[Pre-heresy marines] 
A god worth KILLING for 

(Marching in from the other side, the loyalist marines come, in the middle of their own song) 

[Guilliman] 
Who do we love? 

[Loyalist marines] 
Our mighty Emperor! 
(Whistling) 
Our mighty Emper… 

(They freeze in horror, confronted by the pre-heresy marines, now full chaos space marines) 

=== The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Hellfire ===

[Inquisitor Frollo]: Have mercy, my Emprah,
You know I am a righteous man.
Of my virtue I am justly proud.

Have mercy, my Emprah,
You know I'm so much purer than
The common, vulgar, heretical crowd!

Then tell me, my Emprah
Why I see her standing there,
Why her ghosthelm's eyes still scorch my soul?

I feel her, I see her!
The sun caught in her spirit stones
Is blazing in me out of all control!

Like fire!
Warpfire!
This fire in my skin!
This burning
Desire
Is turning me to sin!

It's not my fault!
I'm not to blame!
It is the Eldar girl, the Witch who set this flame!

It's not my fault,
It's Tzeentch's plan!
He made foul xenos so much stronger than a man!

Protect me, my Emprah!
Don't let foul Taldeer cast her spell!
Don't let heresy sear my flesh and bone!
Destroy the Farseer!
And let her feel Chaos's flames
Or else let her be mine and mine alone!

[Guardsman]: Inquisitor Frollo, the Eldar witch has escaped.

[Inquistor Frollo]: What?

[Guardsman]: She's nowhere in the fortress...she's gone.

[Inquisitor Frollo]: But how, I...nevermind! Get out, you idiot!

I'll find her!
I'll find her if I have to glass the entire system!

Warpfire!
Dark fire!
Now Taldeer, it's your turn!
Choose me or
Your pyre!
Be mine or you will BURN!

Emprah's mercy on me...

Emprah's mercy on her...

But she will be mine or
SHE
WILL
BURN!!!
===Aladdin:Daemon Prince Ali===
Prince Ali! Mighty is he, Ali ababwa!

Strong as 10 Space Marine men definitely!

He has faced the Zealoting hordes

A hundred Grey-Knights with swords

Who sent those Fools to their lord?

Why, Prince Ali...

He's got seventy-five golden Screamers

Purple Horrors He's got fifty-three

When it comes to exotic-type Daemons

Has he got a warp?

I'm telling you, it's a world-class Daemonology!

Prince Ali! Handsome is he, Ali Ababwa

That physique! How can I speak

Weak at the knee

Well, reality is what we shall tear,

we'll shatter the veil, so prepare

To gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Ali!

He's got ninety-five White Scar mon-keighs

(He's got the mon-keighs, let's see the mon-keighs)

And imbues all with mutations for free

(He's generous, so generous)

He's got slaves, he's got servants and flunkies
(Proud to worship him)

They bow to his whim love serving him

They're just feverish with loyalty to Ali! Prince Ali!

Prince Ali!

Amorous he! Ali Ababwa!

Heard your planet was a sight lovely to see

And that, good people, is why he got dolled up and dropped by

With sixty Juggernauts, bloodletters galore

With his Fiends and Nurglings

A war band and more

With his forty Flamers, his cultists, his traitors

His Furies that warble on key

Make way for prince Ali!

==Dreamworks Adaptations==
Although less prolific than Disney, some of Dreamworks' titles show great promise.

===The Prince of Egypt: Playing with the Big Boys===
[Cult Leaders] 
By the power of Tzeentch... 
Nurgle...Khorne...Slaanesh...Malal... 
Magnus...Lorgar...Curze...Angron... 
Fulgrim...Khârn...Lucius...Typhus... 
Mortarion...Perturabo... 
Abaddon...Alpharius...Erebus...Slyte... 
Fabius...Ahriman... 
Tzeentch...Nurgle...Khorne...Slaanesh... 
Magnus...Lorgar...Curze...Angron... 
Fulgrim...Khârn...Typhus...Lucius... 
Malal...Slaanesh...Khorne...Nurgle...Tzeentch... 

So you think you've got friends on High Terra 
With the power to put us on the run 
Well, forgive us if we give a chortle 
You'll know what power is when we are done 
Mortal... 

You're playing with the daemons now 
Playing with the daemons now (Oh, that's nice...) 
Every spell and gesture 
Tells you who's your master 
You're playing with the daemons now 

You're playing with the daemons now 
You're playing with the daemons now 
Stop this vain resistance 
Embrace your true existence 
Give in to temptation now 
Pick up your powerfist, boy 
You're playing with the daemons now! 

[Chanting Cultists] 
By the power of Tzeentch 
Nurgle, Khorne, Slaanesh, Malal 
Magnus, Lorgar, Curze, Angron 
Mortarion, Perturabo 
Malal, Slaanesh, Khorne, Nurgle... 

[Cult Leaders] 
You're playing with the daemons now 
You're playing with the daemons now 
By the might of Horus 
You will kneel before us 
Kneel to our splendorous power... 
You try to keep faith 
But you know we're right 
And just to show we feel no spite 
You can be our acolyte 
But first, boy, it's time to betray 
(All the way!) 
Or your soul will be consumed, boy 
You're playing with the daemons now 
Playing with the daemons 
Now! 

===The Prince of Egypt: The Plagues===
[Chorus] 
Thus said the Gods: 
Since you refuse to yield your reign 
All through the Imperium of Man... 

I send your soldiers on thy self 
Into your space, throughout the void 
Onto your worlds, into your streets 
Into your habs, into your forts 
Upon your ranks, on your troops 
Upon your people in your hives 
Into your minds, into your souls 
Until you break, until you yield 
I send the swarm, I send the horde 
Thus said the Gods! 

[Horus] 
Once I called you father 
Once I thought the chance 
to make you proud 
Was all I ever wanted... 

[Chorus] 
I send the thunder from the sky 
I send the fire raining down 

[Horus] 
And even now I wish the Gods 
had chose another 
Serving as your foe on their behalf 
Is the last thing that I wanted... 

[Chorus] 
I send a hail of burning ice 
On every field, on every hive 

[Horus] 
This was my home 
All this pain and devastation 
It never had to be this way 
All the warriors who suffer 
From your stubbornness and pride... 

[Chorus] 
I send such fleets out through the void 
The galaxy has never seen 
On every globe, on every world 
Until there's nothing left of green 
I send my scourge, I send my sword 
Thus said the Gods! 

[Emperor] 
You who I called my son 
Why must you call down another blow? 

[Chorus] 
I send my scourge, I send my sword 

[Horus] 
Let my warriors rule 

[Horus and Chorus] 
Thus said the Gods 

[Emperor] 
You who I called my son 
How could you have come to hate me so? 
Is this what you wanted? 

[Chorus] 
I send the swarm, I send the horde... 

[Emperor] 
Then let my heart be hardened 
And never mind how high the cost may grow 
This will still be so: 
I will never let my empire go... 

[Chorus] 
Thus said the Gods: 

[Horus] 
Thus said the Gods: 

[Emperor] 
I will not... 

[Horus, Emperor, and Chorus] 
Let your (my) empire go! 

==Other Sources==
Through random circumstance or creative providence, some songs and poems lend themselves to grimdarking regardless of what media they are tied to.

===Queen: Bohemian Rhapsody===
Iz dis da real life? 
Iz dis jus' fannasy? 
Caught in a big push, 
No 'scape from reality. 
Open ya eyes, Look up at da skies and see, 
I's jus' a poor boy, dun need no sympafy, 
'Cause I'm big 'n mean, not a grot, chop and smash, shoot a lot, 
Any way the waaagh goes doesn't really matter to me, to me. 

Warboss, just killed an ork, 
Put mah dakka 'gainst 'is 'ead, pulled my trigger, now 'e's dead. 
Warboss, waaagh had just begun, 
But now I's gone and shot up all ya nobs. 
Warboss, ooh, Didn' mean ta make ya mad, 
If I's not back again dis time tomorra, 
Keep stompin', keep stompin' as if nuffin' really matters. 

Too late, I gots shot up, 
Sends hurtin' down me spine, body's aching all the time. 
Goodbye, ev'rybody, I've got to go, 
Gotta leave you all behind and face da troof. 
Warboss, ooh, I dun' wanna die, 
I sometimes wish I'd never waaaghed at all. 

I see a little silhouetto of a beakie, 
Zoggin' humies, Zoggin' humies, is it your turn to stomp now? 
Thundabolts and Lightnins, very, very fright'ning me. 
(Gorkamorka.) Gorkamorka. (Gorkamorka.) Gorkamorka, Gorkamorka Gork n' Mork 
Waaaaagh! I's just a poor boy an' nobody loves me. 
'E's just a poor boy from a poor goff tribe, 
Spare 'im 'is loife from dis monstrosity. 
Easy come, easy go, will yas lemme go? 
Xenos! No, we will not let you go. 
(Let him go!) Xenos! We will not let you go. 
(Let him go!) Xenos! We will not let you go. 
(Let me go.) Will not let you go. 
(Let me go.) Will not let you go. (Let me go.) Ah. 
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 
(Oh Brother Captain, Brother Captain.) Bruvva Kaptin, lemme go. 
Da Commissar 'as a boltgun put aside for me, for me, for me. 

So you fink you can shoot me and spit in my eye? 
So you fink you can curse me and leave me to die? 
Oh, baby, can't do dis to me, baby, 
Jus' gonna get out, jus' gotta get stompin' again! 

Nuffin' really matters, Anyone can see, 
Nuffin' really matters, 
Nuffin' really matters to me. 

Any way the waaagh goes. 

===Robert Browning: My Last Duchess===
That's my last adjutant painted on the wall, 
Looking as if she were alive. I call 
That piece a wonder, now: The Confessor 
Worked busily that day, and there she stands. 
Will't please you sit and look at her? I said 
Confessor by design, for never read 
Strangers like you that pictured countenance, 
The depth and passion of its earnest glance, 
But to myself they turned (since none puts by 
The curtain I have drawn for you, but I) 
And seemed as they would ask me, if they durst, 
How such a glance came there; so not the first 
Are you to turn and ask thus. Sir, 'twas not 
My orders only, called that eager spot, 
Of joy into her pallid cheek; perhaps 
A Guardsman chanced to say "She wears her cap 
Askew, as it please her," or "Prayer 
Must never hope to match a lock of her hair 
Taken from her head": such stuff 
Was unacceptable, I thought, and cause enough 
For flagellation (she did not). She had 
An attitude - how shall I say - relaxed 
Too easily beguiled; she listened to anything 
She looked on, and her ears heard many things. 
Sir, 'twas all one! Morning prayers, arrests, 
The whispers of the Dark Gods in her breast, 
The impious jibes some vulgar soldier 
Would throw her way, unaware of her 
Position and my power. All and each 
would draw from her alike the approving speech, 
Or an ear at least. She took confession - good - but prayed 
Somehow - I know how now - as if her faith was any other jade. 
A heretic. Who'd stoop to blame 
This sort of crime? Even had you time 
For a trial - which I had not - for heretic slime 
And to say she burns, and to say "Just This 
Is your fair fate, you lying bitch, 
Traitor to the Emperor" - and if she let 
Herself be lessoned so, nor plainly set 
Her wits to yours, forsooth, and made excuse, 
- E'en then would be some stooping, and I choose 
Never to stoop. Oh sir, she prayed, no doubt, 
On every feast, but which gods blessed without 
Those same prayers? This became clear. I made commands. 
Then prayers turned into screams. There she stands, 
As if alive. Will't please you rise? We'll meet 
The Governor below, then. I repeat, 
The Inquisition's munificence 
Is ample warrant that no just pretence 
Of confession will be disallowed; 
Though to find heresy, as I avowed, 
At starting, is my object. Nay, we'll go 
Together down, sir. Notice this seal, though, 
The skull and I, together as you see, 
Which gives certain... powers to me. 

===Charlie Daniels Band: The Devil Went Down to Georgia===
The daemon went down to Terra, 
He was looking for a soul to steal. 
He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind: he was willin' to make a deal. 
When he came across this young man chainswordin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot. 
And the daemon jumped upon a hickory stump and said: "Boy, let me you what:" 
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too." 
"And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you." 
"Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the daemon his due:" 
"I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, 'cos I think I'm better than you." 
The boy said: "Mah nahme's [[Indrick Boreale|Boreale]] ahnd it might be ah sin," 
"But Ah'll take yooouuur bet, yoouugghhrr gonna regrort, 'cos Ah'm the best thawt's ever beahn." 

Boreale, rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard, 
'Cause hellwarp's broke loose in Terra and Tzeentch deals the cards. 
And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold. 
But if you lose, the daemon gets your soul. 

The daemon opened up his case and he said, "I'll start this show." 
And blue fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow. 
And he pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hiss. 
Then a band of Nurglings joined in and it sounded somethin' like this: 
When the daemon finished, Boreale said, 
"Worl, you're prehtty guud, oorrld sawn," 
"But sit dorn in that cheer rigghht ther and let me show you whore it's dorne" 

Fire on the monolith. 
Run, boys, run 
Slaanesh in the House of the Rising Sun. 
Squiqs in the bread pan pickin' out dough. 
Granny, does your cyberdog bite? 
No, child, no. 

The daemon bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat. 
And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Boreale's feet. 
Boreale said, "Daemon, just cuhm on baahhck if you ever wahnt to trah agahin." 
"'Cause Ah told you once, you son of a grot," 
"Ah'm the best that's evah bihn." 

===Iron Maiden: Aces High===
There goes da sirun dat warns o' da air raid 
Den comz da sound o' da shootaz: DakDakkaDak 
Owt fer da scramble we've godda git airborne 
Godda git up fer da comin' attak. 

Jump in da cockpit an start up da enginz 
Lode up da grotz derz no time to muck about 
Gavverin' speed as weeb 'ed down da runway 
Godda git airborne an smoke dose gitz out 

Scurryin', scramblin', flyin' 
Rollin', turnin', divin', goin' in again 
Scurryin', scramblin', flyin' 
Rollin', turnin', divin' 
Scurry, liv ter fly, fly ter liv, du or die 
Won't ya scurry, liv ter fly, fly ter liv, Deffskwad 'igh. 

Move in ter fire at da mainstream o' bombaz 
Giv em some dakka an den turn away 
Roll ober, spin round ter cumz in behind 'em 
Move ter their blindsidz an firin' again 

Runtie ships oe'r da Horizon, muv in behin' us 
Down on da ground dere's jes deadboys and lootaz 
'Eading up an turnin' our flash ter mug dem 
'Eading straight fer dim meeb per-ss down on mi shootaz. 

Rollin', turnin', divin' 
Rollin', turnin', divin' ('ere we go agin!) 
Rollin', turnin', divin' 
Rollin', turnin', divin' 
Scurry, liv ter fly, fly ter liv, du or die 
Won't ya scurry, liv ter fly, fly ter liv, Deffskwad 'igh 

===Iron Maiden: The Trooper===
You’ll take my life but I’ll take yours too 
You’ll fire you railgun but I’ll run you through 
So when you're waiting for the next attack 
You’d better stand there’s no turning back 

The Ethereal speaks as the charge begins 
But on this battlefield no one wins 
The smell of acrid smoke and krootox breath 
As you plunge into a certain death 

The horse he sweats with fear we break to run 
The mighty roar of the Tau guns 
And as we race towards the xenos wall 
The screams of pain as my comrades fall 

We hurdle bodies that lay on the ground 
And the Tau fire another round 
We get so near yet so far away 
We won’t live to fight another day 

(Guitar Solo) 

We get so close near enough to fight 
When a Firewarrior gets me in his sights 
He pulls the trigger and I feel the blow 
A burst of rounds take my horse below 

And as I lay there gazing at the sky 
My body’s numb and my throat is dry 
And as I lay forgotten and alone 
Without a tear I draw my parting groan 

===My Chemical Romance: The Black Parade (Intro)===
WHEN I WAS 
A GUARDSMAN, 
MY SERGEANT TOOK ME TO EASTERN KRONUS 
TO SERVE IN VICTORY BAY 

HE SAID, 
"SON WHEN YOU GROW UP, 
WILL YOU BE THE SLAYER OF THE MUTANT, 
AND THOSE WHO GO ASTRAY?" 

HE SAID 
"WILL YOU DEFEAT THEM, 
THE DEMONS, AND ALL THE FILTHY XENOS, 
THE PLANS THAT THEY HAVE MADE?" 

FOR ONE DAY, I LEAD YOU, 
TO THE ELDAR,
AND TAU AND ORKS AND NECRONS, 
TO JOIN THE DARK CRUSADE." 

===Harvey Andrews: British Soldier===
In a spaceport in the city a young guardsman stood 
Talking to the natives there if they would 
Some just stared in hatred, and others turned in pain 
And the lonely guardsman boy wished he was home again 

Come join glorious guard! Said the posters in his block 
See new worlds and have your fun and serve your emperor 
His skills were surely lacking and his family had to eat 
So he took the emperors oath and enlisted for up to fight 

For there was no fear of fighting, to the conquered he’d be sent 
Just ten years getting paid to watch 
Then leave a glorious victor, a man who’d made the grade 
A medal and some land, and memories in trade 

Then came the call of Tash’ren, as it had come before 
Another bloody chapter in an unending war 
The people stood on both sides, the people they stood behind 
Another fight in futilities name, the weak against the blind 

The guardsman stood between them, between the whistling stones 
And then the broken bottles, that lead to more patrols 
The crude bombs that burnt him, the nails that pierced his skin 
And wish he’d just stayed home, working with his friends 

The starport filled with people the guardsman soon was bored 
But better in the port than where the soldiers warred 
The room filled up with the xenos females, their younglings in tow 
Who stared with itchy fingers at the guardsman and his gun 

A yell of fear a pulse of engines the shattering of glass 
The window of the port broke to let the package pass 
A scream came from the defeated as they ran towards the door 
Dragging their younglings crying from the charge upon the floor 

The guardsman stood and could not move, his gun he could not use 
He knew the bomb had seconds and not minutes on the fuse 
He could not run and pick it up and throw it in the street 
There were far too many people there, too many running feet 

Take cover! yelled the guardsman, Take cover for your lives 
And the Aliens threw down their young and stood before their wives 
They turned towards the soldier their eyes alive with fear 
For the greater good’s sake, save our children or they'll end their short lives here 

The guardsman ran towards the bomb his stomach like a stone 
Why was this his battle in the emperors name, why was he alone 
He lay down on the package and he murmured one farewell 
To those at home in Nimbossa to those he loved so well 

He saw the sights of harvest felt the wind upon his brow 
The young girls in the munitorum parks, how precious were they now 
The soaring of the sw’it the beauty of the swilope 
The music of the cheering choir so soon would it be gone 

A muffled soft explosion and the room began to quake 
The guardsman blown across the floor, his blood a crimson lake 
There was no time to cry or shout there was no time to moan 
And they turned their children's faces from the blood and from the bones 

The crowd outside soon gathered and the chimeras came 
To carry off the body of a pawn lost in the game 
And the crowd they clapped and cheered and they sang their heretical song 
One guardsman less to interfere where he did not belong 

And will the young growing up learn at their mothers' knees 
The story of the guardsman who bought their lives 
Who used his youthful body as a means towards an end 
Who gave his life to those who called him murderer not friend 

===Will Smith: Men In Black===
Here come the Knights in Grey 
Imperium's defenders 
Here come the Knights in Grey 
They won't let you remember 

The righteous bear armor of grey, ok 
Just in case they have to come and send some Daemons away 
The order given to them, Or-do M 
Means with ease they will banish them 
So do not your eyes avert 
Or Chaos with ease will soon convert 
The chosen of the Emperor 
Number one Daemon purgers 
But to our Battle Brothers we don't exist 
On our Ordos most classified list 
Daemon infestation? to the Emperor pray 
Cause you never know when we might save the Day, and.. 

Here come the Knights in Grey 
Imperium's defenders 
Here come the Knights in Grey 
They won't let you remember 

===Ozzy Osbourne: Hellraiser===
Im waaaaaghing on an endlis rode 
around’ da world ta krump beakies good 
sumtiems it ‘eels so tuff 
but I still asnt ad enuf 
I keep tellin dat its gettin alot 
but I no ize a liar 
feelin al rite in da noize n da lite 
but dats wut makes me waaaaaaaaaaaaaagh 

‘ell raiser, in da funder and ‘eat 
‘ell raiser, rock ya bak in ya seet 
‘ell raiser, an ize gon make it come troo 
‘ell raiser, ize gon do sum weird boy fings to you 

Waaaaghin on anuvver world, 
Anuvver hive anuvver place 
sumtimes I dun feel too gud 
ize get dis funny feelin an stuff 
da boyz keep sayin dat its not good fer me 
but bein a grot dun make it 
out of control, I playz da ultimate roll 
But dats wut lites my fire 

Chorus 

Im waaaaaghing on an endlis rode 
around’ da world ta krump beakies good 
sumtiems it ‘eels so tuff 
but I still asnt ad enuf 
out of control, I playz da ultimate roll 
But dats wut lites my fire 
Chorus 

===Nancy Sinatra: These Boots Were Made For Walking===
You's keep sayin' you's got sumfing for me. 
Sumfing you call WAAAGH!, but 'fess up. 
You's been muckin' where ya shudn' be muckin' 
An' now some uver gitz got all ya swag. 

Dese gitz was made fer choppin', an' dats just wot they'll do. 
One uv dese days da ladz is gunna stomp all uver you. 

You's keep lootin' when you's ought ta be krumpin' 
An' you's gots no wins, only beats. 
You's stayin' weedy when ya ought ta be 'ard 
Now wotz proppa's proppa, an' ya ain' been proppa yet. 

Dese gitz was made fer choppin', an' dats just wot they'll do. 
One uv dese days da ladz is gunna stomp all uver you. 

You's keep sulkin' where ya 'spose ta be loud. 
An' you's keep finkin' you's sumfin' speshul. 
Ha! Gotz me a brand new Choppa wotz dead killy, 
An' I ain' 'ad time fer breakin' it in... 

Ready ya gitz? Start choppin'! 

===Sabaton: Attero Dominatus===
Attero! 
Dominatus! 
The Hive is burning 
Denique! 
Interimo! 
The Tau has fallen 

We stand at the gates of the Hive 
With two and a half million men 
With six thousand tanks in our ranks 
Use them as battering rams 

Artillery leading our way 
A million grenades has been launched 
The xenos must pay for their crimes 
The wings of the xeno’s been broken 

Commander Chenkov's orders: 
Serve me the Hive on a plate! 
Disregard the losses 
The city is ours to take 

The price of a war must be payed 
Millions of lives has been lost 
The price must be paid by the Tau 
That started the war in M.40's 

The year of 200.M45 
The year when the xenos will fall 
We're inside the gates of the Hive 
The beaks of the xeno's been broken 

Commander Chenkov's orders: 
Serve me its head on a plate 
Disregard the losses 
The xeno's land is ours to take 

March! 
Fight! 
Die! 
In the Hive! 
March! 
Fight! 
Conquer! 
The Hive! 

===Sabaton: Wolfpack===
To the sector came the Eldar 
Mars and Dictator 
leading the convoy west 

Took the warp gate in 
The long jump back - Convoy to Gryphonne 
Mars, Dauntless, Dictator leading 
Titans to the forge 
And upon the asteroid belt 
Lies the silence of the sails 
On the dog's watch in the final hour 
The corsair fleets appear 

On all the auspex it seems quiet and calm 
Deep down below the xenos lurks 

To the sector came the Eldar 
Mars and Dictator 
Leading the convoy west 
In their own track came the wolfpack 
Mars led the convoy 
Into the hornet's nest 

At the crack of dawn the second watch 
Dauntless wracked with flames 
Half the convoy hulked or disabled 
Heading to Command 
But below the fleet ecliptic 
Out of sensor range 
On the second watch in the final hour 
The corsair fleets return 

The Eldar come in for a second time 
To make the Monkeigh face their fate 

To the sector came the Eldar 
Mars and Dictator 
Leading the convoy west 
In their own track came the wolfpack 
Mars led the convoy 
Into the hornet's nest 

Lances blazing, fighters failing 
M42 when 
The Navy did fail the test 
To the sector came the Eldar 
Mars and Dictator 
Leading them into death 

Asuryan makes the contact and lead them 
Isha's Tears scores a kill in the dark 
She Who Thirsts sinking 4 in 2 approaches 
Fading Star cut in half by a lance 

===Sabaton: Panzerkampf===

Into the Motherland the hordes of chaos March! 

In the great Imperium, Summer M40-93 
Tanks line up in thousands, as far the eye can see 
Ready for the onslaught, ready for the fight 
Waiting for the traitors, to march into the trap 

Assassins creep in darkness 
In the cover of the night 
Waiting for the moment 
When the time is right 

Imminent invasion 
Imminent attack 
Once the battle's started 
There's no turning back 

The end of the [Black] Crusade draws near 
Its time has come to an end 
The end of an era is near 
It's time to attack 

Into the Motherland the hordes of chaos march! 
Guardsmen, stand side by side, to stop their evil charge 
Daemons on holy soil Thunder in the east. 
One billion men at war, Imperial wrath unleashed 

Fields of unnamed colony, feel the heat of battle burned 
Suffered heavy loses losses, the tide of war has turned 
Driving back the traitors, fighting on four fronts 
drive them Off of this world, out of Imperim 
Reinforce the frontline, force the traitors to retreat 
Send in all the reserves, securing their defeat 
Soldiers of Imperium broke their Citadel 
"Ruined Black Crusaders: traitors rest in hell" 

The end of the [Black] Crusade draws near 
Its time has come to an end 
The end of an era is near 
It's time to attack 

Into the Motherland the hordes of chaos march! 
Guardsmen, stand side by side, to stop their evil charge 
Daemons on holy soil Thunder in the east. 
One billion men at war, Imperial wrath unleashed 

Oh, great Imperium, union of worlds 
Will of the Emperor, spreading his word 
Oh, great Imperium, union of worlds 
Once more victorious, the Imperium stands 

The end of the [Black] Crusade draws near 
Its time has come to an end 
The end of an era is near 
It's time to attack 

Into the Motherland the hordes of chaos march! 
Guardsmen, stand side by side, to stop their evil charge 
Daemons on holy soil Thunder in the east. 
One billion men at war, Imperial wrath unleashed 

===Edgar Allen Poe: The Raven===
Once upon a battlefield dreary, where I cowered, spent and bleary, 
Within an Imperial bunker, darkly stained with dust and gore - 
As I cowered, nearly shuttering, suddenly there came a sputtering 
As some weapon quickly stuttering - firing at my bunker door. 
"`Tis some bolter", I murmured, "firing at my bunker door - 
Only this and nothing more." 

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December, 
And the brightly burning bastions lit the horizon by the score. 
Eagerly, on freedom drunker; - vainly had I sought to hunker 
In this heavy Imperial bunker - with perhaps a tunnel in the floor - 
A safe and empty fortress with perhaps a tiny tunnel in the floor - 
Only this and nothing more. 

And the mad raving howling of each distant Space Wolf prowling 
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before. 
So that now, to the beating of my heart, I stood entreating 
"`Tis some Space Wolf there repeating, firing at my bunker door - 
Some common Grey Hunter rapid-firing at my bunker door - 
This it is and nothing more." 

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer 
"Marine," said I, "or Scout, your attention I implore; 
The bunker walls are thick - they are made of tempered brick 
And your bolters do not nick the slightest scratch or tiny score - 
Not a dimple, dent, depression, dip, scratch or tiny score - 
Away now, and fire no more." 

Then in the bunker slumping, presently I heard a thumping 
A pounding - rattling many times fiercer than before. 
And soon I began to screech - the bunker wall grenades did breach; 
The very gods I did beseech as the ceiling fell upon the floor - 
Through the wounds poured light which danced upon the floor - 
Danced amidst the sounds of war. 

Then at once it stopped the violence - I was left alone with silence 
Confused, I spied the reason why the shells did drop no more - 
For as I began to shutter, then with many a flit and flutter 
A psyber-Raven flew through the clutter to perch above the door - 
Perched on the two-headed eagle just above the bunker door - 
Perched and sat and nothing more. 

At this I grew more craven, for the talons of the psyber-Raven 
Were all over covered with bright red blood and crimson gore. 
"Wretch!" I cried, "Njal hath lent thee - into this fortress has he sent thee 
So that remotely may he here be - and this bunker then explore - 
Scry out my exact location and this bunker then explore -" 

Quoth the Raven, "Eversor" 

Then, methought, the air grew darker, the bunker now a little starker 
For the uttered word brought terror as I had never felt before. 
As for weapons, I knew I had none - no bolter, sword or lasgun; 
No arms to stop the war's son fated to break soon through the door - 
The blood-mad crazed assassin fated to break soon through the door- 
Quoth the Raven, "Eversor" 

"Be that word our sign of parting, machine or bird!" I shrieked, upstarting - 
"Get thee back into the fire-fight and here spy on me no more! 
For as you came unbidden - I would otherwise be here hidden - 
Leave my location in this midden - quit that icon above my door! 
Take thy shining metal eye, and take thy form from off my door!" 
Quoth the Raven, "Eversor" 

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting - still is sitting 
On the pallid two-headed eagle just above the bunker door; 
His metal eye has all the seeming of a psyker that is scheming, 
To have my guts lie steaming in a pile upon the floor; 
And now all hope has left me, crouched here upon the floor 
I await the Eversor! 

===Henry the Fifth, Act III Scene I===

Once more unto the boards, Anon, once more, 
Or close the wall up with our Neckbeard dead! 
In-game there's nothing so becomes a man 
As massive fatness and huge faggotry; 
But when the /b/last of war brings in the cancer, 
Then imitate the action of the fatguy; 
Quote from the rulebooks, summon up the fluff, 
Disguise fat nature with hard-favour'd RAAAAGE; 
Then lend the one a terrible aspect; 
Let it stare until PCs are all dead 
Like the foul bodak; let the brow o'erwhelm it 
As fearfully as does a tiefling’s horn 
Add two charisma to his contorted face, 
Swirl'd in the wild and wasteful fourth-ed. 
Now roll the bones and sketch the portraits wide, 
Dream hard of breasts, that bend up every ‘spirit’ 
To his full height. On, on, you beardyest fatguys, 
Whose blood is fet from fathers of thin-proof! 
Fathers that, like so many useless tripfags, 
Have in these parts from morn till even raged, 
And saged their threads for lack of argument. 
Fap not to your mothers; now attest 
That those whom you call'd fatguys did beget you. 
Be copy now to men of better games, 
And show them how you roll. And you, warmachine, 
Whose limbs are made of pewter, show us here 
The metal of your minis; let us swear 
That they are worth their pricetag, which I doubt much; 
For I see most of you so mean and base, 
That hath not showered since last Petertide. 
I see you field warhounds in Apocalypse, 
Standing upon their foes. The game's been lost! 
Follow your spirits, and upon this board 
Cry, "Rage at Vampire! Magic! And Fourth Ed!" 

===Nirvana, "Smells Like Teen Spirit"===

Load up da trukks

Bring yer boyz

`Kuz we's haulin'

Out all da toyz

Da `oomies run

Frum dakka gunz

I knows I knows

We's number one

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO-

Oomies can't `urt us wit' flamers

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

I squish pinkies wit' my anus

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

Cuz its choppy

Cuz its bashy

Cuz its dakka

Cuz we's sneaky

YA

Winnin' is what Orks do best

`Cause by Mork we's all been bless'd

Our mighty WAAAAAAAGH `as always been

And always will until the end

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO-

Oomies can't `urt us wit' flamers

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

Now I'm out dere, smashin' faces

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

Cuz its choppy

Cuz its bashy

Cuz its dakka

Cuz we's sneaky

YA

And I forgitz

Just wot it was

Oh ya, I think a melta bomb

I found it dere

It's tikkin' now

Oh well, I'll toss it at doze grots.

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO ELLO

ELLO ELLO ELLO-

Oomies can't `urt us wit' flamers

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

I'm outta words, so I's WAAAAAAAAAAGH!

`Ere we go now

Orky raidaz

Cuz its choppy

Cuz its bashy

Cuz its dakka

Cuz we's sneaky

CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAGH!

CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAGH!

CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

CUZ IT'S A WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

===Sailor Tau===

Fire caste by moonlight 
Water caste by daylight 
Never running from a real fight 
She is the one named Sailor Tau 
She will...never turn her back on a friend 
She is... always there to defend 
She is...the one on whom we can depend 
She is the one named Sailor..... 
.... Sailor Broadside 
.... Sailor Stealth 
.... Sailor Crisis 
..... Sailor Drone 
With cosmic secrets 
All so new to her 
She is the one named Sailor Tau 
fire caste by daylight 
Water caste by daylight 
With her Sailor Shas'o to help fight 
She is the one named Sailor Tau 
She is the one named Sailor Tau 
She is the one . . . Sailor Tau!! 

===Weird Al Yankovic, Amish Paradise===

As I browse through the minis of my local games store 
I took a look at my life and realized I’m very poor 
But that's just perfect for an fa/tg/uy like me 
You know, I bought that space marine battle company 
At 4:30 in the morning dice are rolling 
PCs are dying the whole session railroading... fools 
And I've been plannin' and ragin’ so long that 
Even my mother thinks that my mind is gone 
I'm a man of the die, I've passed my knowledge check 
Got a codex in my hand and a beard on my neck 
But if I finish all my painting and if you get Matt 
Then tonight I am putting on my wizard robes and hat. 

We been spending most our lives 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
I've done FATAL once or twice 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
It's hard work in rolling dice 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
We buy minis at high price 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 

A local boy made a Mary Sue last week 
I just approved it and saved my mad critique 
I really don’t mind, I didn’t even rage 
‘cause I dumped the Lady of Pain on him, flaying his mage. 
But I ain't never punched weeaboos even if they deserved it 
A fa/tg/uy with a tool? You know that’s unheard of 
I’m obese and smelly but have the best army 
And my homies agree, it did win the tourney...fools 
If you’re here for stories, you'll be wrecked in tears 
We have C.S Goto raping well known canon with shears 
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare 
We are just autistically impaired 

There's chainfists, chainswords, and lightning claws 
In our life hobby 
Like Cthulhu Mythos 
It's as grim an’ dark as can be 

We been spending most our lives 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
We're just fat and nerdy guys 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
There's no greater sin and vice 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
We all fight, by rolling dice 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 

Hitchin' up a game group, churnin' out new content 
Made a game on Sunday, soon I'll make another 
Think you’re pimp at rollplay? Think you can roleplay? 
I know I’m a million times more playa then you gay frey 
I'm the neckbeard guy the young Gygaxes wanna be like 
In the store day and night rollin’ paragon mad soulknife 
So don't be vain and don't be whiny 
Or else, weeaboo, I might declare Exterminatus on your army 

We been spending most our lives 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
We’re all crazy max/min-ites 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
We all dare to fantasize 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 
We’re all virgins who roll dice 
Living in an fa/tg/uy paradise 

===Blue Oyster Cult: Black Blade===
I was on a mission to fight for the Greater Good 
But this here Dawn Blade at my side don't act the way it should 
Keeps calling me it's Shas'O when I feel more like it's Gue'la 
And it keeps dragging me faster and faster to an early grave, yeah 
And it howls! It howls like hell! 
 
I'm told it's my duty to fight against them all 
That warring is my trade and I was born to wade through gore 
I just want to be a lover, not a blue-skinned screaming ghoul 
I wish it'd picked another to be it's killing tool 
 
Dawn Blade, Dawn Blade 
Forged a million years ago 
Dawn Blade, Dawn Blade 
Killing so it's power can grow 
 
It's death from the beginning to the end of time 
And I'm the Tau's champion, or is that just part of it's grand designs? 
And whole worlds are dying, and the burden's mine 
And the Dawn Blade keeps on killing, 'til the end of time 
 
Dawn Blade, Dawn Blade 
Bringing chaos to the world we know 
Dawn Blade, Dawn Blade 
And it's using me to kill my friends 
Dawn Blade, Dawn Blade 
Growing stronger so the galaxy will end 
Forcing my mind to bend and bend 
 
I am the Dawn Blade 
Forged a million billion years ago 
My cosmic soul goes on for eternity 
Carving out destiny 
Bringing in the Lords of Chaos 
Bringing up the Beasts of the Immaterium 
Sucking out the souls of heroes 
Laying waste to the Imperium 
My master is my slave 
Hahaahahahahahahahaha! 
You poor fucking Tau 
 

==='Twas The Night Before Emperor's Day===

'Twas the night before Emperor's Day, 
and he fought all alone, 
in a four foot deep trench 
lined with plasteel and stone. 
 
I was traveling the warp 
with gifts for the land, 
when I saw this lone guardsman 
making his brave stand. 
 
I looked all about, 
I looked near and far, 
no Chimera, no Basilisk, 
nor Techpriest or Commissar. 
 
No Sergeant yelled orders 
to this guardsman - no backing 
to fight this ridge full of xeno 
formed from pure evil, attacking. 
 
His armor in tatters, 
his eyes nearly blind, 
A sobering truth 
raced through my mind. 
 
His position was doomed, 
was my only thought 
and this soldier's brave stand 
would all be for naught. 
 
The guardsman stared unblinking, 
silent and alone, 
his lasrifle at the ready 
against his shoulder bone. 
 
His gaze was so calm 
in the face of calamity, 
the perfect picture of 
a guardsman of humanity. 
 
Who was this brave hero 
whose position I'd spied, 
warring against 
this unstoppable tide? 
 
I now knew that all humans 
I would see this night, 
owed their lives to these guardsmen 
who were willing to fight. 
 
Soon all round the galaxy 
the children would play, 
and grownups would praise 
the bright Emperor's Day. 
 
They all lived their lives 
every month of the year, 
Because of brave guardsmen 
like the one standing here. 
 
A tear came to my eye 
for those who stood alone, 
on a cold Emperor's Day Eve 
on a planet far from home. 
 
Their great sacrifices 
I could never betray 
So I drew my burning sword 
to join in the fray 
 
The soldier did turn 
and I heard a rough voice. 
"My Emperor, rest easy, 
this death is my choice; 
 
I fight for a freedom 
that may never be found, 
but not ever shall I waver 
on Your sacred ground." 
 
Then the Guardsman turned 
to face the incursions 
of the foul xenos and 
their unholy perversions 
 
I kept watch for hours, 
until the night was still 
and the guardsman lay broken 
on the bloody red hill. 
 
I could not just leave 
on that cold grim dark night, 
this guardian of honor 
so willing to fight. 
 
And as the guardsman lay dying, 
his soul strong and pure, 
he cried, "Ave Imperator! 
It's Emperor's Day! This world is secure!" 
 
I kneeled before the fallen, 
A great victory he'd won. 
"Happy Emperor's Day my guardsman, 
rest in peace, my son." 

===Daniel Decateur Emmett: Dixie Land===
No one knows how this all started 
But it don't surprise us empty-hearted- 
Get Away! Get Away! Get Away, xenos scum! 
 
When those came up in that ole half-track 
We found the nerve to now push back! 
Get Away! Get Away! Get Away, xenos scum! 
 
Advance the flag there trooper! Hoorah! Hoorah! 
On far off lands we'll take our stand- 
And not die bloody cowards! 
 
To arms! To arms! And purge the fuckin' xenos! 
To arms! To arms! And purge the fuckin' xenos! 
 
Now John Fuklaw was an awesome sight, 
And rallied us into the fight! 
To arms! To arms! To arms! Fire away! 
 
And Raepfist cut a bloody swathe 
and Conrad Raege had to laugh and scoff 
Push on! Push on! Push on! Valiant men. 
 
Bring up that flamer trooper! Hoorah! Hoorah! 
Let's give 'em hell, and then die well! 
In service to the Emprah! 
 
Advance! Advance! They're no match for us trooper! 
Advance! Advance! Ave Imperator! 
 
OH I love to serve the Emprah! Hoorah! HOORAH! 
On his holy land I'll take my stand- 
To fight on for the Emprah! 
 
Hoorah! Hoorah! Praise be to Holy Terra! 
Hoorah! Hoorah! Praise the Immoooooooortal Emprah! 
 

===Everyone Has Aids (Team America: World Police)===
Everyone has WARP
WARP! WARP! WARP!
WARP WARP WARP WARP, WARP WARP!
Everyone has WARP!

And so this is the end of our story
And everyone is dead from WARP.
It took from me my favorite son
My only true Warmaster
My conqueror of bright stars
(He got WARPed)

Well I'm gonna march on Terra!
Lead the Astartes and charge the brigades!
There's a Daemon inside of all of us...
I'll make them see, everyone has WARP.

My Commisar!
(WARP!)
My Astropath!
(WARP!)
My Chaplain and Librarian and Captain!
(WARP! WARP! WARP!)
The Xenos and witch, and the mutant and psyker!

Everyone has WARP!
My techpriest and my squig Old Blue
WARP! WARP! WARP!
The Primarch's got it and so do you!
WARP WARP WARP WARP, WARP WARP!
Come on everybody we got purgin' to do!
It's time to exterminate these worlds everyone has
WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP! WARP!
(WARP!)

===American Pie (Don McLean)===
A long, long time ago... 
I can still remember 
How that cultist used to make me smile.

And I knew if I had my chance 
That I could make those xenos dance 
And, maybe, they’d be purged for a while. 

But February made me shiver 
With every bolt round I’d deliver.
Heresy on the doorstep, 
I couldn’t take one more step. 

I can’t remember if I wrrryed 
When I read about his lolcron bride, 
But something touched me deep inside 
The day the music died.

So die die, from the flames in the sky, 
Drove my raider to the crater, 
But the crater was dry. 
And them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry 
Singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die. 
"This’ll be the day that I die."

Did you write the litanies of hate, 
And do you live in the EMPRAH'S faith, 
If the Codex tells you so? 
Do you believe in rock ’n roll, 
Can crack cocaine save your heretic soul, 
And can you teach me how to wrrrry real slow?

Well, I know that you’re in love with him 
`cause I saw you dancin’ in the gym. 
You both kicked off your boots. 
Man, I dig those rhythmic blues.

I was a lonely teenaged scout marine 
With a camo cloak colored brown and green 
I knew to see but not be seen 
The day the music died. 
I started singin’,

"Die die, from the flames in the sky." 
Drove my raider to the crater, 
But the crater was dry. 
And them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry 
Singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die. 
"This’ll be the day that I die."

Now since M.30 we’ve been on our own 
And heresy grows fat on a rollin’ stone, 
But that’s not how it used to be. 
When the harlequin sang with the noise marine, 
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean 
And a voice that came from you and me,

Oh, and while Lord Tzeentch was looking down, 
A loota boy stole his JUST AS PLANNED crown. 
The classroom was adjourned; 
No grade report was returned. 
And while Kharn raged about METAL BOX, 
Macha tried to get some in the park, 
And we rolled sixes in the dark 
The day the music died. 
We were singing,

"Die die, from the flames in the sky." 
Drove my raider to the crater, 
But the crater was dry. 
And them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry 
Singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die. 
"This’ll be the day that I die."

Helter skelter in a summer swelter, 
The birds flew off the Exterminatus shelter 
Eight miles high and falling fast. 
Nurgle-tan let loose a cloud of gas. 
Macha still couldn't get no ass, 
With old Failbaddon in a cast.

Now Cultist-chan wore cheap perfume 
While Doomrider played a Slaaneshi tune. 
We all got up to dance, 
Oh, but we never got the chance! 
The Angry Marines tried to take the field; 
The Emperors Children refused to yield. 
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died? 

We started singing, 
"Die die, from the flames in the sky." 
Drove my raider to the crater, 
But the crater was dry. 
Them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry 
And singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die. 
"This’ll be the day that I die."

Oh, and there we were all in one place, 
All GRIMDARK and lost in space, 
With no time left to start again. 
So come on: Jack be nimble, Jack be quick! 
Candlejack sat on a can- 
Cause fire is the devil’s only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage 
My hands were clenched in fists of rage. 
No angel born in hell 
Could break that daemon’s spell. 
And as I purged her in the night 
To show her the emperors shining light, 
I saw Eldrad laughing with delight 
The day the music died.

He was singing, 
"Die die, from the flames in the sky." 
Drove my raider to the crater, 
But the crater was dry. 
Them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry 
And singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die. 
"This’ll be the day that I die."

I met a farseer whose love did bloom 
And I asked her for some happy news, 
But she just smiled and turned away. 
I went down to the wargear store 
Where I’d heard the music years before, 
But the techpriests said the music wouldn’t play.

Hand een thee stweets: thee childwen scweamed, 
Thee lovers cwied, and thee poeets dweamed. 
But not a hword hwas spoken; 
Thee chyurch bells all were broken. 
Hand thee thwee men Ay hadmire most: 
Thee father, son, hand thee holy ghost, 
They captyoored thee lhast train fooor thee coast 
Thee day thee myoosick died.

And they were singing,

"Die die, from the flames in the sky." 
Drove my raider to the crater, 
But the crater was dry. 
And them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry 
Singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die. 
"This’ll be the day that I die."

"Die die, from the flames in the sky." 
Drove my raider to the crater, 
But the crater was dry. 
And them good old dreads were drainin' the promethium dry 
Singin’, "This’ll be the day that I die. 
"This’ll be the day that I die." 

===Emprah's Rangers===
[Immortal God-Emperor of Mankind]: "Inquisitor! Heretics, Xenos, and Mutants are abound! Recruit a team of Acolytes with attitude!" 
[Inquisitor]: "Ayayayayay!" 

They've got, a power and a faith that you've never seen before! 
They've got, the ability to smite and to even up the score! 
No Grot, can ever take them down! The Emprah lies on their side! 
Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! The Mighty Inquisiting Emprah's Rangers! 

They know, the fate of Holy Terra's lying in their hands! 
They know, to always use their weapons at the first chance! 
No Cult will ever take them down! The Emprah lies on their side! 
Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! The Mighty Inquisiting Emprah's Rangers! 

The Unclean, can never take them down! The Emprah lies on their side! 
Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! Go go Emprah's Rangers! The Mighty Inquisiting Emprah's Rangers! 
Go go Emprah's Rangers! 
Go go Emprah's Rangers! 
Go go Emprah's Rangers! 

==="And the band played 'Fight on, the Navy'"===

When I was a young man I flew in a ship, 
And lived the free life of a scouter. 
From the Twin Star of Aphor to the Aquila Rift, 
I danced my old scoutship all over. 
Then in nought-oh-fifteen, the Emp-ror said "Son, 
It's time time to stop scoutin', there's work to be done." 
So they gave me a rank bar, 
A Cruiser, a gun, 
And they sent me away to the War. 

And the band played 'Fight on, the Navy' 
As we boarded the Santa Maree, 
And amidst all the cheers, 
the cannonade and tears, 
we left for Bellerophon III. 

How well I remember the sight I saw then, 
the proud Navy cut down and shattered. 
And how in the hell that they called Lagrange Ten, 
We were butchered like poor bloody cattle. 
Old Boney was ready, he'd primed himself well, 
he cut us with Lances, and broke us with shell. 
And in five minutes flat, 
he had blown us to hell, 
nearly blew me right back to Agrippa. 

And the Vox played 'Fight on, the Navy', 
as we formed up and counted the slain. 
We'd lost half of ours, 
for a handful of theirs, 
but we charged right on back in again. 

Now us that were left, well, we tried to survive, 
in a mad world of lanceshot and boarders. 
And for nine minutes ten I kept my boys alive, 
as around me our numbers grew lesser. 
Then a whole mess of guardsmen stormed onto the bridge, 
they shot down old Kelley, the Nav and the Kid, 
and for some bloody reason, they just let me live. 
Never knew there were worse things than dying. 

For I'll do no more dancing my scouter, 
I thought as I ran for the pod, 
for a scout can't feel dread, 
he's got more balls than head, 
and that's one thing a coward ain't got. 

The handful of pods left I gathered to me, 
and we left like a bolt from a barrel. 
A dozen survivors of two-million-odd men, 
the Grand Fleet of Admiral Karil. 
And as we all dove into Catan's dock ring, 
and the three from the Mada all started to sing, 
the thought of my men, 
had a horrible sting, 
for not one had lived through the battle. 

And the band played 'Fight on , the Navy', 
for the wives of the men of Catan, 
Nobody cheered, 
they just saw us and stared, 
and then, the crying began. 

And now every march day I sit in the crowd, 
and watch the young guardsmen walk on then. 
I wonder to myself, not speaking aloud, 
why there's not one vet'ran with them. 
The young men march stiffly, all upright with pride, 
they're all brave young soldiers with nothing to hide. 
And then one kid asks, 
"Is that how daddy died?" 
And I don't have the courage to tell him. 

And the band plays 'Fight on, the Navy', 
As I answer my question before. 
If the march they could give, 
to the men who had lived, 
not one man would dare march at all. 

Dancin' my scouter, dancin' my scouter, 
who'll come a-dancin' my scouter with me? 
And their ghosts may be heard as you dance on by Bellerophon, 
who'll come a-dancin' my scouter with me? 

===Gilbert and Sullivan: A British Tar===

A Space Marine is a soaring soul, 
Far greater than a mortal man, 
His energetic fist should be ready to resist 
Any heretical plan. 
His nose should pant, 
and his lip should curl, 
His cheeks should flame, 
and his brow should furl, 
His bosom should heave, 
and his hearts should glow, 
And his fist be ever ready for a knock-down blow. 
 
His nose should pant and his lip should curl, 
His cheeks should flame and his brow should furl, 
His bosom should heave and his hearts should glow, 
And his fist be ever ready for a knock-down blow. 
 
His eyes should flash with an inborn fire, 
His brow with scorn be wrung; 
He never should bow down to a filthy xenos frown, 
Or the tang of a traitor tongue. 
 
His foot should stamp, 
and his throat should growl, 
His sword should twirl, 
and his face should scowl, 
His eyes should flash like a conqueror 
And he should ever bellow "for the Emperor!" 
 
His foot should stamp, and his throat should growl, 
His sword should twirl, and his face should scowl; 
His eyes should flash like a conqueror, 
And he should ever bellow "for the Emperor!", the Emperor, the Emperor, the Emperor! 

==="Holy Diver" (Dio)===

Holy Bolter 
You've been out too long in the warzone 
Oh it's jamming again 
 
Ride the Tank 
You can see its hull but you know it's clean. 
Oh don't you see what I mean 
 
Gotta shoot 'em down 
Holy Bolter 
 
Shiny Tracers 
Like the eyes of a Daemon in the night 
Something is coming for you 
 
Race for the Dropship 
You can hide in the sun of the Emperor's light 
Oh we will pray it's all right 
 
Gotta get away-get away 
Between the armor lies 
There's a trooper hard as steel 
The valor never dies 
War's a never ending wheel 
 
Holy Bolter 
You're the star of the battlefield 
No need for full auto 
 
Jump on the Tank
you can feel its hull but you know it's mean 
Some might can never be seen yeah
 
Holy Bolter 
You've been out too long in the warzone 
Oh it's jamming again 
 
Ride the Tank 
You can see armor but you know it's clean. 
 
Gotta get away-get away Gotta get away-get away 
Holy Bolter sole survivor your honour's clean 
 
Holy Bolter Holy bolter never change the mag Holy Bolter 
Oh Holy Bolter yeah alright get away get away get away 
 
Holy Bolter Holy Bolter whoa Holy Bolter Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm. 

===Fresh Prince of Bel-Air===

Now, this is a story all about how 
My life got flipped-turned upside down 
And I'd like to take a minute 
Just sit by my skull throne 
I'll tell you how I became the daemon prince of Khorne 
 
No idea where I was born or raised 
On the gladiator arenas was where I spent most of my days 
Beatin' smashing' killin' in the arenas 
Escaped to the mountains with a few cronies 
When a couple of soldiers 
Who were up to no good 
They found us and attacked my neighborhood 
I got in one little fight and Emperor started to worry 
And said 'You're movin' with your father and god in Terra' 
 
It kinda hurt to see my pals fucked 
But Emprah didn't let me go back 
He gave me a battleship and then he gave me my legion. 
I put my axe on and said, 'Gotta give my army a lesson'. 
 
First company, yo this is bad 
Marines drinking juice out of a champagne glass. 
Is this what the marines of World Eaters are like? 
Hmmmmm this won't be alright. 
 
But wait I hear there're techmarine, apothecarians and all that 
Put implants to the recruits like ones in this cool cat 
Now I like it 
Badass bloodthirsty soldiers 
I don't give a fuck to Emprahs' warnings 
 
Well, the battle-barge landed and when I came out 
There was Horus who told he's gonna throw a rout 
I was in and we went to Terra 
We went totally ape 
After an epic bloodshed I heard 'Horus got raped' 
 
I whistled for a Battle-Barge and when it came near 
My legion ran in, cursing the Emperor 
Dumped Kharn to the trunk and fled the war 
Khorne told me 'Yo homes to Eye of Terror' 
 
I got wings on my back and horns on my head 
This cool runesword and skin blood-red 
I looked at my kingdom 
I was finally there 
To sit on my throne as the Daemon Prince of Khorne 

===Sabaton - Stalingrad===

Fresh from orbit 
From the dropships came to Comrades aid 
City in despair 
Almost crushed by Ghazkulls army 
 
Oh its grimmer than hell 
Ghazkull's forces advancing 
 
The sound of the stubbers 
The music of death 
A grand symphony 
 
See your friends fall 
Hear them pray to the gods 
Your emperor denies 
 
Every man dies alone 
And when your time comes 
You will know that its time 
 
Yarrick's fortress on fire 
Is this madness or hell 
 
The sound of the stubbers 
The music of death 
We're playing Chaos's symphony 
Violins as lasguns 
Conducted from hell 
 
Oh Hades Hive 
Morte Vedae 
 
Are you praying 
Do you follow the Commissars lead 
No one knows you 
No one cares but a single violin 
 
Play the score of the dead 
Know the daemon within 
 
The sound of the stubbers 
The music of death 
We're playing Chaos's symphony 
Violins as lasguns 
Conducted from hell 
 

===Kelis - Mildshake===

''[Repeat x2]'' 
My mechadendrites bring all the boys to the yard, 
And they're like, 
The best forge world's Mars! 
Damn right the best forge world's Mars! 
We can teach you, 
'Bout St. Tesla's electric charge. 
 
I know you want xenotech, 
The thing that makes free energy, 
What explorators go crazy for. 
They lose their minds 
If the warp unbinds 
Before they get out in time. 
 
''[Chorus x2]'' 
La la-la la la, 
Warm it up. 
La la-la la la, 
AdMech toys are waiting. 
 
My mechadendrites bring all the boys to the yard, 
And they're like, 
The best forge world's Mars! 
Damn right the best forge world's Mars! 
We can teach you, 
'Bout St. Tesla's electric charge. 
 
I can see the machine spirit. 
You want to be just some skitarii? 
Tech geeks and freaks with toys 
That can't be bought. 
Just know: heretics get caught. 
Watch out if you're smart, 
 
''[Chorus x2]'' 
La la-la la la, 
Warm it up. 
La la-la la la, 
AdMech toys are waiting. 
 
My mechadendrites bring all the boys to the yard, 
And they're like, 
The best forge world's Mars! 
Damn right the best forge world's Mars! 
We can teach you, 
'Bout St. Tesla's electric charge. 
 
Omnissiah says "get involved." 
Enginseers practice every day so 
You must maintain your firearm. 
Same time maintain your iron halo 
And you will learn to mend. 
(Plus work on our titans!) 
Then next honour spark plugs, the wheel and flint. 
Then starting your car is a blessed event! 
 
''[Chorus x2]''
La la-la la la, 
Warm it up. 
La la-la la la, 
AdMech toys are waiting. 
 
My mechadendrites bring all the boys to the yard, 
And they're like, 
The best forge world's Mars! 
Damn right the best forge world's Mars! 
We can teach you, 
'Bout St. Tesla's electric charge. 

===I'm in a Dread - The Lonely Island===
I'm in a dread. 
I'm in a dread. 
Everybody start running 
Cause I'm charging in a dread. 
I'm in a dread. 
I'm in a dread. 
Take a good hard look 
at the motherfucking dread. 

I'm in a dread, motherfuckers, so you better run. 
In a dread, blastin' you away with my giant gun. 
Bustin' heretics, making 'em wish they were dead. 
You can't stop me, motherfuckers 'cause I'm in a dread. 

Take you shot, bitch, 
I'm in a dread, witch. 
And my adamantium armour's so thick. 
I've got my giant fists 
And my meltagun. 
You were already dead before the war begun. 

I'm riding in a drop pod 
Falling to the ground 
The drop pod's arriving, 
Making a terrible sound. 
But this ain't Slaanesh 
This is the Emperor's hound, 
An airborne dreadnought, motherfucking, coming inbound. 

Fuck you, I'm in a dread, motherfuckers. 
Fuck guns, I cheated death, motherfuckers. 
I'm here with Chapter Master Seth, motherfuckers. 
I can't even draw breath motherfuckers. 

Oh, Emprah, if you could hear my roar, 
As I'm waging your eternal war, 
Covering the ground with xeno gore 
Like Ursarkar Creed, anything is possible. 

Never thought I'd be in a dread. 
Blood staining my armor red. 
Sanguinius, look at me. 
Never thought I'd see the day, 
I'd watch myself decay. 
Believe me when I say 
I fought in the Great Crusade. 

I'm in a dread. 
I'm in a dread. 
Everybody start running, 
'Cause I'm charging in a dread. 
I'm in a dread. 
I'm in a dread. 
Take a good hard look 
At the motherfucking dread.

==External Links==
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=RSu4hOLYrXk Video of Pocahontas: Savages]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOG0jDvaIqk Video of The Prince of Egypt: Playing with the Big Boys]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=_0Nm0vf1W9Q Video of The Prince of Egypt: The Plagues]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0AiN8vrn9Y Video of the Lion King: Be Prepared]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=irp8CNj9qBI Video of Queen: Bohemian Rhapsody]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=5wON8-glDb0 Video of Robert Browning's poem My Last Duchess]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=4Pbl4x1OKqs Video of Ozzy performing Hellraiser]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=WLenuBXt2RE Video of Nancy Sinatra: These Boots Were Made for Walking]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=S5nw1-_5-Vk Video of My Chemical Romance: The Black Parade]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=jgqxQmAbTBc Video of Iron Maiden: The Trooper]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=n9C4fj5CfvA Video of Harvey Andrews: British Soldier]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=pxyhmx-DT44 Video of Will Smith: Men in Black]
*[http://youtube.com/watch?v=0Y9ZQsAgveI Video of Sabaton: Wolfpack]
*[http://www.asoldierschristmas.com Not a Video of A Soldier's Christmas]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=as0VmtpZVqM Video of Dixie]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Si8beWhBkg Video of Everyone Has Aids]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CRsXv7QVfE Video of A British Tar]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBe0VCso0qs Video of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air]

[[category:warhammer 40,000]]
[[category:Meme]]
[[category:Copypasta]]