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Slavery

2021-08-28T16:22:07Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:44C1:DB3B:C5E6:7800: /* History stuff */

{{sick}}
[[image:Slaves sugar cane.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Slaves harvesting sugar cane, not a lot fun for them. It is really good in tea, though.]]
{{Topquote|I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves.|Jack Handey, ''What I'd Say to the Martians''}}

'''Slavery''' is the institution of owning other humans ([[Hard Science Fiction|as well as other sapient]] [[Soft Science Fiction|beings by extrapolation]]) as property. As slaves are bound to their owners, they were prevented from leaving or refusing to work under threat of immediate violence for disobedience. When two groups would fight, it was not uncommon for the victor to capture some of the defeated along with the goods or territory and put them to work. Later on, as long-distance trade improved, they also began selling said captives to other cultures. The children of slaves usually were slaves themselves, though this was not universal.

In other cases, people would be put into slavery as a punishment, e.g. for failure to pay their debts, or voluntarily such as an alternative to paying for something. Some systems of slavery even offered opportunities for, like the Devshirmeh system in Ottoman Empire, where boys taken from among Christian vassals who were bright enough could actually end up as Grand Vizier of the Empire (with a few caveats; they had to be smart and all of them had to be converted to Islam willingly or not... either way they weren't allowed to stay Christian).

In addition to the practice of owning human beings as chattel, there are other contemporary and historical arrangements so similar to slavery that they are referred to as slavery informally or at that point in history. A few of these include serfdom ([[Peasant|serfs]] were not owned, but they were bound to the land owned by [[noble]]s and are required to work the noble's land 2-3 days per week for free and keep what else they could grow-keep-trade), indentured servitude in colonial America (in exchange for passage to the new world being paid, criminal fines or to discharge a debt, someone would be indentured to a contract holder and have to work off their debt over a number of years such as British criminals and Irish people too poor to pay for the trip), impressment and shanghaiing (where people were kidnapped from ports or ships and forced to serve as sailors with said debt not being hereditary), the various forced labor programs used by the [[Nazi|Nazis]] and other despotic regimes and the victims of human trafficking which is still ongoing today.

Presently it's generally acknowledged that humans cannot be considered ''real assets'', although there remain locations where this is not an absolute, and only the most extreme activists consider this to be a universal right that should be extended to other organisms. And there are very few countries that have addressed the more tricky issues of conscription, prison labor, and non-dischargeable debt.

Economically slavery is... tricky. At the first glance it looks like free labour, meaning easy way of getting rich without paying your workers. But slavery have lots of hidden expenses, most notably on security and overseeing work, making it not nearly as free as it looks. Furthermore, most slaves are unfit for any sophisticated work, being way worse motivated in the result of their labour than hired workers. That's not to say you can't have slave engineers, teachers or other high-intelligence jobs, but historically it only worked by giving said highly skilled slaves so much freedom and privilege they end up more like contracted workers with no way of getting out of the contracts, and not much (if any) cheaper than free people doing the same job, so the only upside is that they don't run away from you and tell your secrets to your enemies. For this reason in most cultures for the overwhelming length of history slaves were a luxury, not really a means of creating wealth, unless you happen to have highly profitable industry with very low skill requirement, like strip mining in antiquity (deep mining required way more skill), cotton farming in new age or textile sweatshops in modern times. Even then it have another hidden detriment: slaves don't consume as much as free people, so they put a giant handbrake on the economy, hampering the circulation of the capital and generally making everyone, including even slave owners, poorer compared to the same economy running on hired labour instead of slavery. In short, slavery excells at making nobles or their equivalents in society richer than plebs, but not at making them richer than "nobles" of other societies that don't run on slavery. One of the reasons modern slavery only survived in 3-d world countries is that they're 3-d world partly because they still use slavery.

== History stuff ==
{{skubby}}
The oldest surviving codex of laws yet discovered in the world, the "Code of Ur-Nammu" dating back to at least 2050 BC, has multiple references to slaves, so slavery has been with humanity for a ''very'' long time. Slavery was practiced in virtually every culture at some point throughout their history; as soon as a people progressed from a hunter-gathering and nomadic culture to an agrarian one it became more convenient to look for ways to increase productivity and lower expenses. Before the advent of modern machinery, that way was some flavor of slave workforce since you generally had to spend less resources on a slave than you would on your fellow clan member.

In the ancient world, basically all civilizations made use of slavery to some degree or another. Prisoners of war were taken as slaves and made to ply their trade for their conquerors, or were sold abroad for goods. Since civilizations would wax and wane from time to time, the enslavers of one generation might end up enslaved in the next. The Ancient Egyptians made use of slaves in various ways though even there there was something of a hierarchy among slaves, although contrary to popular beliefs pyramids weren't built by slaves but by free people (paid in fresh crops grown on the most fertile and irrigated lands in Egypt owned directly by king and worked by king's personal slaves as well as good amounts of meat). The Greeks made heavier-than-usual use of slaves, and the Romans even more so. The Persians did not use slavery themselves and tried to limit it, but slavery did exist in their Empire among their conquered vassals. Slaves worked in every field from miners (who were quickly worked to death) to farmers, to factory workers and skilled craftsmen. Other examples range from the [[Grimdark]] examples of sex slaves or fodder for human sacrifice (the latter being something the Aztecs were notorious for), to non dark examples such as entertainers, teachers and doctors (particularly Greeks who could buy their freedom in a year, or even less if skilled) and even up to high ranking government officials in the Empire. Ancient Romans used to grumble about all these slaves coming in stealing people's jobs (this sentence is not a joke).

Slavery existed in [[Medieval Stasis|Medieval Europe]], but declined after the year 1,000 AD in a lot of places, especially the north. The Domesday Book (a census carried out by William the Conqueror in 1086) stipulated that about 10% of the population of England was slaves. The Vikings practiced slavery, acquiring them primarily on expeditions or raids in Eastern Europe and the British Isles. They could also obtain Viking slaves at home, as crimes like murder and thievery were punished with slavery or through doing business with the Arab Slave Trade. The Vikings treatment of slaves was all over the spectrum, though they had a common practice of [[Grimdark|sacrificing slaves who outlived their masters]]. The basis for the modern English word slave gets its roots here, as the Slavic races were so often put upon that [[Grimdark|the ordeal was named after them]], also providing the first example of race-based slavery. When Arabs, and later the Europeans, discovered the continent of Africa, there was much contact between local tribes and foreigners on this subject. Many nations would take slaves from the peoples of Africa abetted at times by local slavery systems among African people themselves (see below). [[Grimdark|In Brazil and most of the Caribbean between 1600 and 1800, the slave population never was able to achieve natural replacement rates due to a high death rate from overwork and abuse by their masters]]. The American system of slavery (aka "the peculiar institution") would arguably require an entire article of its own, but since we'd rather not try to poke that hornet's nest, suffice to say it was little different from the Caribbean experience and was only abolished by President Abraham Lincoln after the American Civil War (and was one of the reasons Lincoln was assassinated).

During this aforementioned time, the idea of racial slavery was raised. In the Classical World (for example, Ancient Rome), slaves were basically from everywhere in the Empire and many places beyond and the children of freed slaves (Libertus) in Rome became more Romans, and Rome being Rome, they even had the manumission (freeing) a religious/bureaucratic ritual onto itself. While if Slavic people are considered a race, they were the first case of racial slavery due to being popular choices of slaves. Ideas raised in attempts to justify the idea arose between the Arab Slave Trade and the Atlantic Slave Trade. Slavery is not a nice thing even at the best of times, but racial slavery adds to it the conception that an enslaved race is inferior, doomed to servitude forever, and that people from it are unfit for anything else. Those caught up in it had little hope of ever elevating themselves from a state of being a form of livestock with the hands for manual labor. Slave ships sailed from Europe to Africa loaded with manufactured goods, textiles and weapons which they traded for prisoners of war, criminals and existing slaves. They were packed in like sardines to be shipped to the new world, collecting sugar, rum, coffee and other goods produced by slave labor to sell them in the mother countries.

Africa has had slavery between its various tribes and kingdoms for millennia, even to the present day. Between this and many foreign civilizations making extensive use of African slaves, the history of slavery in Africa is complicated and violent. In Africa, even prior to the Arab slave trade or the Atlantic/European slave trade, slavery happened in all forms from ancient times. This was enacted between many of the various tribes and nations of Africa; however, in many African societies where slavery was prevalent, the enslaved people were not treated as chattel slaves and had certain rights in a system similar to indentured servitude elsewhere in the world. When the Arab slave trade - and centuries later, the Atlantic slave trade - began, many of the local slave systems began supplying captives for slave markets outside Africa. They also supplied local criminals and captives from rival tribes or nations to the Arab, European or American slave trades. This means African slave traders unwittingly helped fan the flames of the issue of racial slavery, unaware of the dehumanization these buyers would subject them to - and that's before the Scramble for Africa caused many of them to become slaves themselves.

In the Ottoman Empire, whose system can ''arguably'' be seen as similar to the Eastern Roman Empire, the system was more or less the same, but with a small possibility of moving up if you were a Christian (or claiming to be one) because Christians (and Jews) are considered "people of the Book", meaning the worthiest of non-Muslim people according to Islam. It had three sources of slaves: The first was Africa, with the usual [[Grimdark]] fate for blacks brought by the thousands, many castrated and dying during transport, females ending up as house slaves and non-castrated males working agriculture in Egypt and Anatolia as ''fellahin''. The second was the slave-port of Caffa, the most underreported and forgotten white slavery port which took ''millions'' of white slaves from Ukraine, males killed and women sold as sex slaves([[SJW|you don't get to hear much about it because they are not black]]). ''Devshirmeh'' is the name for the system of taking one boy out of 40 houses from the population of Christian vassals in the Ottoman Empire; this mostly meant Balkan Christians, with the inclusion of Bosniak Muslims while Armenians, Romani and Jews were explicitly excluded. The taken boys were converted to Islam one way or another, then made into elite monastic troops called Janissaries (new soldiers). If they proved intelligent, they were sent to the Imperial Academy in Enderun to become bureaucrats. Being slaves, they had no ''habeas corpus'' and could be executed at any time - in theory. In practice, while the threat hanging over their heads was very real, they could also push back against this by working their way into military ranks, marrying Ottoman princesses, engineering palace coups to kill off sultans who didn't pay them enough, or even investing back in their native countries such as Bosnia (the reason Bosniaks mourned the fall of the Janissary institution while EVERYONE ELSE celebrated it). The dangers of the ''devshirmeh'' system didn't stop some families from actively sending their kids there in desperation, often to the point of bribing the Janissary Aghas.

Female slaves in the Ottoman Empire didn't get as many opportunities, with the "best" option allowed to them being to end up as palace concubines. But this contained more backstabbing than a Tzeentchian party, and few died peacefully. Ironically, many concubines who ended up marrying Viziers or military officers ended up in better positions than concubines who were gunning for the top spot. With the advent of nationalism, the French Revolution, Russia conquering Ukraine and destroying the Muslim-Tatar slavery business ([[Alignment#Lawful_Evil|If only to preserve their white serf population]]) and the growing need for military reforms bitterly opposed by the Janissaries, the system's flaws burst like rotting cysts, and Ottoman-style slavery went the way of the Dodo in 1847 thanks to [[Noblebright|Abdulmajid's reforms]]. The harem was numerous enough by then, and the freed whites went on with their lives while the black population [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afro-Turks settled in Western Turkey as free farmers]. Slavery didn't ''completely'' end until [[Sebastian Thor|Atatürk]] did the [[Noblebright|final house-cleaning]] around the 1930's.

Eurasia, particularly Ukraine, was the hotbed of slavery for the Ottoman Empire, with the port city of Caffa being the continent's major slave ports. The Russians liberated it from the Crimean Khanate, whose major income was thousands of taken women and children from villages, supplying the Ottoman Empire's need for European/white women. Evliya Çelebi even wrote about the despair and cries of women separated from their children and then sold separately.

But the problem was particularly acute in Russia. Tzar Alexander II officially ended serfdom in Russia via two edicts in 1861 and 1866, liberating roughly 33 million people (23 million private serfs and at least 9 million state serfs) from obligations. But this was achieved by simply taxing all of them and paying the tax to their former lords. While this tax was intended to expire, ultimately the hardship this caused combined the Great War and other factors would lead to the abdication of the Tzar and the Russian Revolution.

In contrast to the above, slavery is virtually never mentioned in [[Oriental Adventures|east Asian-inspired]] settings. This has some basis in history in certain areas: The [[Mongols]]' nomadic lifestyle was not conductive to widespread slavery, though they did take some captives as slaves ([[Genghis motherfucking Khan|Genghis Khan]] himself was briefly a slave in his youth), and during the Mongol Empire's runs on conquering China people were often little better than slaves anyway. The Chinese themselves went through several periods of loosening and then making stricter laws surrounding slavery, usually rallying around who was in charge following their frequent wars to unify, only to break apart once more. The question of working conditions in China and comparisons to slavery along with "prison camps" came up during and after Mao Zedong's rise to power, but rather than poke that hornet's nest suffice to say these stories have more than a grain of truth to them (there's a reason for the stereotype of the Chinese sweatshop worker). The inhabitants of the Ryukyu islands "would die over" slavery rather than participate. Slavery in Asia was probably most prolific on the Korean peninsula, who had a caste system, but population growth, a few slave revolts and modernization eventually rendered it less than palatable.

The earliest European reports of [[Japan]] mention that, though it existed there, slavery was rare and primarily inflicted on debtors and prisoners of war. The main recorded examples are the maids/concubines of the rich, and those brought by Europeans themselves. One European held slave's physical stature impressed Oda Nobunaga so much that he purchased him, freed him and elevated him to samurai status (making him potentially the first and only non japanese Samuraï). This man would be known as Yasuke, [[Anime|the only black samurai]]. During the Sengoku a not-insignificant of Japanese prisoners of war were sold to the Europeans for foreign trade until 1587/1595, when Toyotomi Hideyoshi banned it. HOWEVER... the Japanese were one of the last countries to give up serfdom; the feudal land system disappeared along with the Samurai who oversaw it during the Meiji Restoration.

==Slavery in Fantasy==
Because slavery is viewed as such a moral repugnance throughout the modern world, it is an easy way for lazy [[GM]]s to get a reaction from players. Slavery being one of the common features of a setting's bad guys makes for an easy way to establish that civilization or organization is [[Alignment|evil]]. A bunch of armed guys attack a peaceful village with chains and whips to catch its residents, bind them, and take them to their dwelling, where they're treated worse than how we treat livestock and forced to: toil, be beaten, probably raped, and made to fight to the death in arenas for the amusement and benefit of some sick bastards? That is more than enough reason to establish "these guys are bad, go [[murderhobo|kill their asses]]" regardless of alignment; even Evil characters can simply indulge their drive to kill by offing slavers, and exploit the freed villagers and their families for more favors - particularly Lawful Evil ones.

However, this is not always the case; both the perceived "good" and "bad" factions can also engage in slavery, although how they do it usually defines who's good and who's bad (regardless of how minute the difference is). Take [[Araby]] and the [[Dark Elves]] in the ''[[Warhammer Fantasy Battles|Warhammer Fantasy]]'' setting, for example. Both factions engage in wanton slavery and have no qualms about it being a common thing everywhere. However, what sort of defines each of them is how they see their slaves. In Araby, slaves have several rights, the children of slaves are guaranteed by law to not be slaves, and particularly cruel mistreatment of slaves will result in punishment to the masters and the mistreated becoming free. The Dark Elves consider all non-Dark Elves to be beneath them and will torture and maim their slaves, just because they think it is fun.

Though it is found in both, slavery is more common in fantasy settings than in science fiction. In your typical Tolkien knockoff, the way you go about digging rocks, harvesting lumber, tilling fields and raising buildings is normally with strong backs. In most sci-fi worlds, why have a bunch of slaves working in an irradiated asteroid space mine when you could have a bunch of robots who don't need slave drivers, don't require food or air, won't plot escape/rebellion ([[Men of Iron|'''hopefully''']]), and are stronger and easier to repair if damaged?

Slavery of a [[/d/|certain kind]] is a common feature of many [[Magical Realm]]s.

===Slavery in [[Warhammer]]===

Since we are a bunch of [[Warhammer]] nerds, here are some examples<ref>Besides the pair that allows us to explain that there's a sliding scale of evilness associated with slave-holding societies</ref> from those two/three settings, because we can't restrain ourselves:

[[Tomb Kings|Ancient Nehekharan's]] society mostly had its labor powered by slaves that were either prisoners of war or captured from oversea raid (like their Egypt counterpart). Most slaves would overwork themselves and die under the whips of the architects (or soon to be necrotects) while building a pyramid (Settra's pyramid only took 20 years and cost over 2000 slaves). This does not mean Nehekharan were mostly cruel tyrants, for a few kind or wise rulers would grant a boon to talented slaves by giving them a place in their hierarchy, allowing some of them to even become a vizier (second most powerful man in a great city besides a priest king). Females would be used as servants instead of labor just because they are good looking.

Then there's [[Nagash]]. HE believed everyone but him are either slaves, fuel for spells or enemies to kill and make into undead slaves. Even talented generals and his nine noble lieutenants were just considered his most useful slaves, and he only treated them better because he understood positive reinforcement was the best approach with them. Necromancy was his idea of free labor; to build the Black Pyramid, Nagash was merciless even by Nehekharan standards, to the point of telling living slaves to make tools from the bones of their dead co-workers to meet his design. Anyone who died in Nagash's service would be made undead to continue working or punishment, best case scenario they'd get a promotion or power boost if they weren't mindless.

Skaven mainly enslave their own kind - Skavenslaves, the bottom rung of their society. There's always a surplus of Skaven ratlings, so most of those end up as slaves. Their lives are often filthy, painful and short; they're underfed, fight for what little food they have and cannibalism is often required not to starve. They get the most dangerous and thankless jobs, including test subjects for experiments or raw material for Clan Moulder's fleshcrafting. Their most famous role is expendable fodder for Skaven Warlords to pin down or exhaust the enemy with (the same could be said about Clanrats, but they have actual combat training and also get armor - albeit poor quality armor). Skaven do take slaves from other races, though they end up as food, material for fleshcrafting or spell ingredients. Those enslaved by the Skaven for any length of time often go insane and even start to act like a Skaven. Rumors claim that at some point they actually mutate into Skaven.

''[[Warhammer 40,000]]'' actually justifies having slaves fairly well in that, in the [[Imperium]], such automation is considered techno-[[heresy]] (or simply decayed like spaceship artillery loaders) due to a robot rebellion happening in the past and the risk of Chaos corruption for the machines. In order to access free labors without the fear from Abominable Intelligence, they created [[Servitors]], cyborgs made out of human criminals or vat clones. Then again, every humans in the Imperium is indebted to the Emperor at birth and thus [[count as]] his currency to be spent [[Imperial Guard|on wars]] and [[Administratum|labors]]. Basically modern slavery but with more fanaticism, cloning and cybernetics. [[Imperial Worlds#Feudal_Worlds|Feudal Worlds]] and [[Hive World]] exists to shit out billions of humans every single day.

The [[Dark Eldar]] are sick bastards who need to consume souls of psychically susceptible species (human youngsters are prime specimens, while Tau souls taste bland and weak) and get their rocks off at making others miserable.

And the [[Orks]]... well, the Orks simply believe might makes right is an axiom '''(A WOT?!)'''. It's the natural order that the big and tough can and ought push around the small and puny. There's no universal right, only the power you possess. Ork fluff is dodgy as far as slaves from other species are concerned, but Grots and especially Snotlings fill the role of slaves for manual labour and occasional plaything (not ''that'' kind of plaything).

==A Digression About the Economics of Slavery==
For serious worldbuilders who have it, you need to consider what economics already considers a long-standing question: Is slavery profitable in the long term, and if so where?

The consensus answer among economic historians to the first one is that yes, slavery can be profitable, but only in those situations where technology does not offer a faster/cheaper/safer solution. Indeed, most ancient Empires (Egyptian, Greek, Roman) had some form of institutionalized slavery that allowed them to endure. This being said, the very concept of slavery has some serious downsides (that have nothing to do with morality) dooming it in the long run. The short answer to the "where" question is "cash crops and other agriculture, unskilled labor, and a bit of mining", in roughly that order of profitability.

The practical downsides that doom slavery include, but are not limited to:

*First of all, in any area where sabotage is a serious concern slavery is usually a non-starter. For a recent example, look at the [[Nazi]]s using forced labor to build their weapons later in the war, and the quality of said weapons, with Russian POWs and Communist and Social Democrat political prisoners being the most profilic for small-scale sabotage (like leaving out a bolt here and there or not quite soldering something right). Turns out a learned clockmaker isn't the best at toiling the fields. That rules out most semi-modern mining, as well as just about any industry with any degree of mechanization and a surprising amount of agriculture.
** Despite mining being the stereotypical use of slaves in fiction, mining past a certain depth is sufficiently deadly and expensive that semi-skilled labor is '''absolutely required''', and a slave has a nice way to commit suicide AND hurt his master's profits at the same time. While ''other'' exploitative practices may be used, the training required means actual slavery-based mining is very much a no-go save for tasks such as the very basic work of breaking surface mineral seams, as well as open-pit mining, where "getting stuck" is not an issue and carrying loads to processing stations a la South American silver mining done by Spanish or simple stone quarries where all one needs doing is to hit a stone with a pick and carry the resulting ore chunks to the storage.
** The same goes for large-scale infrastructure projects like those undertaken during the Great Terror under Stalin in the Soviet Union. Nearly all of these projects that heavily relied on forced labour fell apart very quickly once they were put to use, often with disastrous consequences. The sinister thing about this is that, because the Soviet system was supposedly infallible, every accident of this kind was attributed to "Sabotage", leading to another round of arrests and purges, endlessly propelling forward a cycle of mass arrests, deportations, accidents and so forth. Krushchev ended the Gulag system mainly because the shoddy work the Gulag produced wasn't sustainable in the long run (and also to distance himself from Stalin) when the USSR was to look eye to eye with the United States.
*Second, unless reproduction is heavily encouraged (and ties down the female slaves to light labor), slave populations have a tendency to drop over time, especially compared to relatively free populations (even ignoring manumission, buying freedom in better societies and escapes), and five seconds of thought on slaves' living conditions should lead to a few obvious conclusions as to why. So if you want to keep up, you need to constantly raid (or trade with raiders) for more slaves. Last time this was done beyond the 16th century, the United States wrecked the entire Barbary coast with artillery and freed slaves. So any "sustainable" raiding *will* attract military threats that will make sure any slave taken will eventually be more expensive than a free worker who is A) already available and willing, B) lives within the empire and C) has many motivations, such as family, welfare and [[Tzeentch|hopes for a good future]]).
*Third, slave-holding societies are usually economically out-competed by non-slave-holding societies once military considerations are either removed or temporarily equalized. There are plenty of reasons for this, but the big ones are the twin spectres of Incentives (which align more closely in non-slave societies) and Efficiency (effort you expend on keeping slaves from escaping or rebelling could usually be more productively used elsewhere, and that's just to ''start'', saying nothing of potentially intelligent slaves wasted in labor they are not optimal for rather than being educated and made into scientists).
*Fourth, if slaves are owned in large numbers they start to displace the local non-slaves. This is not a simple case of [[Meme|"DEY TOOK AHR JERBS"]], as the Romans can attest: when large numbers of slaves started to displace local farmers who were forced to sell their land for some reason or the other, said ex-farmers were driven to the cities, where there were not a lot of jobs either. This bred poverty, and from poverty rose a class dissatisfied with their lot in life as they starve while the rich grow fat. And from this rose political and civilian unrest, which is never good for any state. In the case of the Romans, this gave birth to a populist dictator, Julius Caesar and his adoptive son Octavian, which created a major precedent for all modern dictatorships and bread-and-circuses states.
*Lastly, having a large slave population essentially constituted a permanent fifth column presence. Every empire that employed slavery was compelled to maintain a large armed presence in its home territory to suppress revolts. This tended to limit the size that a state could grow to territorially, with only a few superpowers managing to consolidate enough territory with reliable regional governors to sustain a permanent campaigning military while retaining enough force at home to prevent rebellion. Serfdom policed by religion was more effective at maintaining civil order, with serfs tending to rebel only in the case of famine and excessive taxation.

Slavery in worldbuilding is not confined strictly to historical settings; it is also a valid consideration in near future science fiction. The time and cost of moving individuals to other bodies in the solar system by conventional means, combined with the work to be done and the scarcity of hands will mean that people on such ventures will NOT have the luxury to quit. Space colonization under these circumstances will inevitably require a return to the ancient naval tradition that a captain at sea must be an absolute despot for the good of all aboard; "keeping ''everyone'' alive" and "avoiding ''everyone'' dying" are not synonymous, and many hazards of space make the distinction very important. Activity in space today is achieved as a pseudo-military expedition with carefully selected teams trained to cooperate, but larger scale operations WILL necessitate an organization divide between labor and operations and that will result in social friction. In some settings, colonization is achieved by using convicted prisoners as labor to sidestep the moral questions of compulsory work and sacrificing some to save all.

[[Category:History]]

Carnifex

2021-08-28T09:28:04Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:44C1:DB3B:C5E6:7800: /* Old One Eye */

[[Image:Carnifex and Gaunts Victorious.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Better to die than be nom'd.]]

A '''Carnifex''' (''Carnifex voracio'') is a monstrous [[Tyranid]] creature from the ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]'' game. Carnifexes are hulking beasts that are often used quite literally as battering rams, barging through enemy lines and tossing tanks around like toys. However, the Carnifex is among the most customizable of Tyranid units, allowing for many different varieties to fulfill different roles on the battlefield. They range from the above mentioned battering ram, to a weapons platform for anti-horde duties. 'Fexes are notoriously resilient thanks to a combination of an [[Armoured Exoskeleton]] and [[Armoured Shell]], and can even be upgraded with regeneration - a mutation previously unique to a Carnifex special character known as Old One Eye, but later introduced to the standard Tyranid army list - making them extremely difficult to kill; It's pretty much a diet Robo-Tarrasque. ''40k'' players commonly name specific variations of Carnifex by taking another word that represents the concept and appending "-fex" to the end. For example, the Dakkafex is a [[shooty]] Carnifex based on the [[Ork]] term "[[dakka]]".

'''Note:''' In Latin, "Carnifex" literally means "butcher," (even more literally, "meat maker") but is also used for an "executioner," a "tallow-renderer," or, more figuratively, a "murderer" or "villain."

==Carnifexes in 5th Edition==
[[Image: Discofex.jpg|thumb|right|300px| Thanks to [[Robin Cruddace| This failure]], the days of bosses like this are now long past.]]
In the 5th edition, the Carnifex lost a total of ''eighteen biomorphs and weapon options'', having been replaced by [[Nerf|more stringent mandatory loadouts]]. The Carnifex has also faced a doubling in base point cost with rather paltry statistical increases - putting it arguably somewhere between 20-30 points too expensive for the overpowering majority of competitive army lists, and 10 or so points above the cost-effectiveness ratio provided by variant 'Fexes (such as [[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX]]).

How profoundly [[Rage|infuriating]] this is for Tyranid players writ-large cannot be denied, and is notable for being one of the first times that players openly called foul on [[Games Workshop]]. Beyond any doubt, the Carnifex was ''the'' mainstay big fucking unit of Tyranid players and was the one unit that literally every Tyranid player had in their army list. It was the epitome of ubiquitous; you could mount lots of options on it, and all of them, to some degree or another, were viable - until this edition hit. This is most Likely because Games Workshop wants more money and by making the Fex suck you have to buy, from Games Workshop, the Trygon to stand a chance.

Some of the new biomorph weapons and options were nice, and there was options added to make some of the 'Nid swarm a little less vulnerable to being dramatically outgunned, and considerably improved Tyranid psyker units (its command units especially), but in the process, the Carnifex - the one fucking model every 'Nid player and their grandmother had at least one of - got toned down dramatically and is now rather inefficient - as well as much more vulnerable to being taken down quickly by certain units with reasonably-effective armor-penetrating weapons (of particular note: [[Imperial Guard|Guardsmen]] with Missile Launchers, Hunter-Killer Missiles, [[Thousand Sons|Rubric Marines]], [[Necrons]], and [[Stormtrooper]]s, since the fucking thing can't take [[AIDS|Extended Carapace]] anymore.

It enraged players even more that this edition's weapon changes functionally forced people to buy all-new Carnifexes since the old ones they fielded, such as Sniperfexes (which were armed with [[Venom Cannon]]s and [[Barbed Strangler]]s, to give the Tyranids much-needed fire support and allow them to stun enemy vehicles into submission) were no longer valid, whilst several of the new bioweapons, whilst not bad (people like that the [[Venom Cannon]]s can score penetrating hits now) are specifically designed to take bites out of the Carnifex's originally-legendary punch (since the gun now replaces 2 hands). Functionally, the Carnifex is now half as good at ranged support as it was before with only token upgrades in return and the loss of about 33% of the Carnifex's durability, since it can no longer shrug off a ''lot'' of weapons it used to. The new rules for blast weapons (of which the [[Heavy Venom Cannon]] ''is'' one) doesn't exactly help the Carnifex's average accuracy, either, which renders its tankbusting potential rather lacking on top of all this.

Extensive debate on /tg/ has been had since the update, arguing whether the new Carnifex is a direct result of corporate evils or the result of gross incompetence or prejudice on the part of Robin Cruddace, the 5th edition codex writer. As of currently, smart money is on the former; it's widely known that GW is bleeding money due to its fuck-ups, which indicates that this may have something to do with it, especially since Robin Cruddace isn't exactly the biggest fan of Tyranids. Which sort of makes him a reverse [[Matt Ward]].

Again, there are a few bright spots. 3rd edition's Old One Eye is back, even if he does now cost more than a Landraider and is ''barely'' better than a standard Carnifex with no weapons courtesy of Old One Eye's close-combat only biomorph loadout (his primary advantage is that he recovers wounds of fives or mores instead of just sixes, which isn't worth it at all.) The new Hive Guard is a great unit for fucking with [[Tau|Communist Dipshits]] that like to use the old [[Fish of Fury]] tactic. Wider support for variant weapons, previously from Chapter approved, are also a plus. It's a shame that the good stuff gets out-fucked by the bad.

==Carnifexes in 6th Edition==
In 6th the Carnifex saw a buff with a nice price drop from 160 to 120 points bare. However some of the weapons they can use have seen a nerf, notably [[Tyranid_Bio-Weapons#Scything Talons|Scything Talons]] and [[Tyranid_Bio-Weapons#Crushing Claws|Crushing Claws]] (Although their point cost also decreased). The Carnifex gets its biggest bonuses riding the monstrous creature buffs that came around in 6th, such as the ease of cover save availability and the sweet hammer of wrath attack you can make when you charge into battle and swing with [[D3]] S9 I10 attacks to sucker punch some unlucky guy. Fear is generally useless and should not be relied upon to make much of a difference, however if it does take effect the Carnifex gains a big in combat boost vs. [[METAL BOXES|its natural prey.]]

The Carnifex has gotten better with its tank crushing power, now that they have Armourbane and no longer strike at I1. Walkers like the Dreadnought and Soul Grinder still strike before the Carnifex (so equip electroshock grubs and entice them to charge), but they can now deal with Power Fists without suffering a blow from them. Otherwise the carnifex still takes apart vehicles with record efficiency most of the time. Also people field a few less anti-tank weapons in favor of more anti-infantry power due to 6ed move away from mech warfare, not huge but it helps a bit to have one less railgun rammed down your fex's throat. Oh, and if your Carnifex falls out of synapse range, it has a 50% chance of eating itself if there's more than one in a Brood! Even by themselves they can't [[get shit done|get shit done]] because they aren't allowed to shoot, run, or even assault unless it can charge the closest enemy unit (Even a squad of TH/SS Terminators). It no longer gets Rage unless you roll a 6, even then it still follows the 5th edition Rage, so keep them in Synapse range!

All in all the Carnifex is now a viable choice to field and is now more versatile with the choice to go either Two Twin-linked [[Brainleech Devourer]]s, a Cannon of your choice with Crushing Claws, or even just stock equipment with Regeneration to act as an escort for a Tyranid Prime. Old One Eye is still a meh choice, slightly better, but lacks the buff other HQ can give to your army while not being a solid enough HQ to contribute its own to the battle in any real way.

(With 6th second force org chart at +2000 point games, you can field a total of 18 fexes, that's about 72 T6 wounds and up to as many as 126 S9 attacks on the charge (If raging, but that heavily relies on luck) and could go up as high as 180 attacks with crushing claws on Vehicles(very unlikely, but hella scary to think about)!

==Carnifexes in 8th edition==

So far so good, it seems. They've seen a MASSIVE reduction in price, going from 125 points in 6th/7th, to a mere ''67 points base'', though, you need to pay at least 20 extra to actually field one. Though it seems they aren't getting [[Armoured Shell]] back, they are receiving a pretty substantial buff in a couple of ways. First and foremost, they're the rough Dreadnought equivalent of the Tyranid army, with T7, 8W, 3+ save, S6 (With a weapon option that brings them to S12 AP -3, with 3 damage per hit that goes through. (Not really recommended due to -1 to hit, however, unless you're tagging along with OOE), and being a monster/vehicle that doesn't degrade. Though, bringing it down somewhat from its potential are two factors: One, unless Old One Eye is tagging along with them, their weapon skill is a mediocre 4+, basically 5+ if using crushing claws. Not terrible when you have 6 attacks on the charge, unless you have crushing claws in which case its even worse, but not ideal. The other being is when they are taken either shooty or vanilla, their S6 isn't particularly threatening compared to your other options for dedicated melee in this edition like the Swarmlord, the aforementioned OOE, Trygons, Haruspexen, etc. Overall, an extremely solid unit with a bargain price. Getting roughly the equivalent of a Space Marine dreadnought. Good all-rounder unit, from the sounds of things, especially with the option to make squads of them. We'll have to wait and see how it turns out, but it seems the days of Fexen mediocrity are over.

With the Codex, we've gotten a couple variant Carnifexes in the Screamer-Killer and the Thornback, in addition to some minor buffs to Old One Eye (He no longer degrades and gets character protection!). They all also get the universal buff of getting +1 to hit on the charge.

The Screamer Killer is a Carnifex with double [[Tyranid_Bio-Weapons#Scything Talons|scything talons]] and a special form of [[Bio-Plasma]], which is S7, AP-4, and Assault D6, 18" range. Improved from Assault D3, AP-3, and a 12" range. 14 more points then a Carnifex with [[Bio-Plasma]] and double scything talons, before other upgrades are factored in. It also has the Terrifying ability, which adds 1 to any morale tests for enemy units within 8" of any Screamer Killers.

The Thornback is a Carnifex with scything talons (OR a [[Stranglethorn Cannon]]), and your choice of either Twin Monstrous [[Deathspitter]]s/[[Devourer]]s, chitin thorns, and an improved Living Battering Ram rule which gives it a D3 mortal wounds on a 4+ when charging rather then just a single mortal wound. 3 more points then a Carnifex with the same upgrades before other upgrades are factored in. Also has the special ability to ignore cover with its shooting attacks.

Also returning from 4th edition are some long-forgotten Biomorphs straight from the Carnifex sprue, exclusive to the Carnifex! (For now, at least). Weapon options remain the same, however, with the standard choice of [[Tyranid_Bio-Weapons#Scything Talons|Scything Talons/Dual Scything Talons]], [[Tyranid_Bio-Weapons#Crushing Claws|Crushing Claws]], one of the two cannons ([[Venom Cannon|Venom]] or [[Stranglethorn Cannon|Stranglethorn]]), and one or two sets of the Twin-Linked monstrous guns (Either [[Brainleech Devourer]]s or [[Deathspitter]]s). And of course the obligatory Toxin Sacs and Adrenal Glands.

CARAPACE BIOMORPHS:

Chitin Thorns: Uniquely, can be taken with either of the other Carapace Biomorphs. Currently likely not working as intended unfortunately, as the ruling is "At the end of the Fight phase, roll a D6 for each enemy unit within 1" of any models with chitin thorns. On a 6, that unit suffers a mortal wound.", rather then what is likely intended "At the end of the Fight phase, roll a D6 for each enemy '''''model''''' within 1" of any models with chitin thorns. On a 6, that unit suffers a mortal wound." Thornbacks MUST take this. These are the little spikes that no one knows what to do with that come with every Carnifex kit.

[[Tyranid_Bio-Weapons#Cluster Spines|Spine]] [[Tyranid_Bio-Weapons#Stinger Salvo|Banks]]: Very short ranged S5 AP- Assault 4 shooting with the ability to fire into combat as if it was a pistol. Tied with the Bone Mace as the cheapest biomorph a Carnifex can take, but locks out Spore Cysts.
Thornbacks may take this.

[[Tyranid_Bio-Weapons#Spore Mine Cysts|Spore Cysts]]: Enemy shooters targeting this Carnifex have -1 to hit. Very useful, but notably expensive at 10 points. Pretty much a must-take. Screamer-Killers may take this. Notable for its change in ability since 4th edition, where it used to spawn Spore Mines in exchange for the attached Carnifex taking wounds.

HEAD BIOMORPHS:

[[Bio-Plasma]]: Still around from the Index, pretty much unchanged, albeit taking it does lock out your options for other head biomorphs.

Enhanced Senses: +1 Ballistic Skill. Extremely useful for any gun-toting Carnifex. Thornbacks may take this. Looks very much insectoid with its <s>three</s> six eyes and weird antennae. Has an alternate modeling option with the smaller antennae which can be attached to the standard Carnifex head if you don't want to use the weird looking one.

Tusks: +1 attack when charging. Useful on a melee-fex so you can pile on attacks, and especially useful combo'd with Old One Eye so you can have 6 S6 attacks hitting on 2s re-rolling 1s on the charge. Arguably the most common biomorph you'll see, due to the popularity of Dawn of War 2, with its carnifexes always having this biomorph, and it just being really cool looking. Also the cheapest head morph.

[[Tyranid_Bio-Weapons#Acid Maw|Monstrous Acid Maw]]: A melee weapon. Not so useful for melee fexes but something to consider for a gunfex. Looks really freaky with its big old dripping tongue.

TAIL BIORMOPHS:

Almost unchanged from the index, really. [[Tyranid_Bio-Weapons#Scything Tail|Bone Mace or Thresher scythe]]. You have the option of neither though now, annoying all those who impulsively glued one of the two on in haste during the time we had with the Index. One and only one attack though now, which is sad for the Thresher Scythe. No more clearing hordes with it unfortunately.

You can, of course, choose to not take any biomorphs but weapons, which can give you a Carnifex for about 80 points... alternatively you can load up on as many as possible and get a Carnifex for about 150 with all the bells and whistles, coming close to recreating the Godfexes of old.

==Old One Eye==
[[File:OldOneEye.png|200px|thumb|right|Old One Eye before being re-purposed by the Hive Mind.]]
Old One Eye is the only unique Carnifex in the entire Tyranid Codex, along with being one of the few unique characters in said codex. He's known for being ultimately [[fluff]]y but not the slightest bit [[crunch|crunchy]]. He has nothing to back his fluff up.

Old One Eye is a Carnifex that was present when Hive-fleet Behemoth came to fuck the [[Ultramarines|Ultramarines']] world of Calth. Now, like most Carnifex, his armor was nigh impenetrable. Reaching around the problem, a soldier ignored his armor by aiming a [[plasma]] bolt at his head, searing right through his eye and into his skull. The beast was declared dead. He was quickly forgotten, his corpse freezing up during the winter and left behind after his Hive-fleet was obliterated.

Some time later, some scavengers found the ice block and thawed it out, hoping to get some cash. (Yes, they decided to follow the plot of John Carpenter's "The Thing".) However, like a defeated hero who has to do a sequel or the titular alien from the aforementioned film, he quickly regenerated his wounds (save for his original plasma scorched eye). He fucked their shit up, ravaging Calth along with the Tyranid remnants from the original invasions. Rumors were spread of a terrible, single eyed beast hunting the terrified population, earning the creature the title of "Old One Eye." You see, despite being cut off from the Hive Mind, skull fucked by a plasma bolt, and frozen, he was still alive. His long stay on an Ultramarines world had earned him a skill that none could counter: Ultramarine-level Plot armour.

The Ultramarines, unable to stop him with regular means, sent in Scout Sergeant Telion, the [[Matt Ward|greatest scout sergeant/sniper in the Imperium]]. Telion hunted OOE down, cornered him near a cliff, and managed to disable him by shooting his ruined eye socket, causing OOE to stumble into a large ravine to die yet again. However, since he was plated with the same plot armor of the Ultramarines, he survived and traveled around Calth, ravaging more and more Imperial cities. Now, this wasn't OOE's only plot armored moment. OOE has been hit on numerous occasions that would outright kill a regular Carnifex. Rumors abound that the creature was killed dozens of times, only to get back up again like some Necron player who owns cheating amounts of good luck with his Reanimation Protocol rolls.

Nowadays, its frozen body has become a bit of an attraction for a local [[Genestealer|Genestealer Cult]], who [[God-Emperor of Mankind|worship its corpse]] alongside their Patriarch.

Table-top wise, OOE was first introduced in the 3rd edition as one of the two only Special Characters for the Tyranids, who otherwise had no individuals among them. Back then his cost was relatively low (slightly higher than a decent kitted out fex) and came with his unique Crusher Claws. Regeneration was also unique to him, allowing him to AUTOMATICALLY regenerate one wound per turn as well as get back up from being dead on a roll of a 4+ (there was no limit to the number of times he could do this). He was also unique in that he was the only special character that could be taken in an army less than a certain points value (all other characters had a minimum points value to field them. OOE had a Maximum Point value). Needless to say, this was when he reigned supreme since you had something that cost around the price of a dreadnought that can dish out an upwards of 8 attacks on the charge AND ignore wounds. He was removed in 4th edition because it was felt that Tyranids should not have characters within them, as they are a faceless swarm, so OOE's abilities were given to normal carnifexes. This end up kicking the bucket in 5th edition, where he returned but with a boost to his overall point cost while not regaining his borderline-OP regenerative abilities (He still had the claws tho). In 6th edition OOE is a unique HQ choice who's more expensive than a regular Carnifex (30pts less than a Land Raider), while not being able to significantly outperform one. In the retarded 5th Edition that is when the Tyranid army went to the shitters, much like the 5th edition [[Necrons|space zombies]] (Check your 6th edition, Necron are now at the top of the heap). So yeah, he's going about, being [[Dreadknight|one]] [[Jokaero|of]] [[Matt Ward|several]], [[Kaldor Draigo|excellent]] [[Pyrovore|avatars]] of what is wrong with 5th Edition (Cptn. 6th edition here with your morning news, Old one eye; still bad, but <s>a little better</s> get him into close combat and he'll SMASH SOME HEADS).

In 8E, you may as well disregard the above as his rules have completely changed since. Old One Eye is a fairly good special character to take if you like Carnifexes and bring a good amount of them (Not hard to do). He hits hard and with a lot of attacks, having two weapon options, both of which can be useful in certain circumstances. Buffs carnifexes around him with a much-appreciated +1 to hit in the fight phase. As of the Codex, he's the only Monster Character which can receive the benefits of the CHARACTER keyword, having less then 10 wounds. This also means he no longer degrades as he did in the Codex. [[What|This, amusingly, makes him a better choice for a Warlord then the Swarmlord.]] Although he is quite expensive now, he is one of the best tyranid anti-tank units right now, even if there are no other fexes for him to buff. Since he generates extra attacks on a hit roll of 6+, and he gets +1 to hit when charging, AND he gives HIMSELF +1 to hit with his own aura, he will generate extra attacks on hit rolls of 4+ (or 5+ when using the crushing claws). You can basically send the little guy at a tank, and assuming he makes it into melee, the tank will be dead. Doubly so if using a stratagem to let him reroll failed wound rolls.

==Stone Crusher Carnifex==
[[File:StoneCrusherCarnifex.jpg|200px|thumb|right|I came in like a Wrecking Ball!]]
Even nastier and more 'battering ramming' Carnifexes, used as living siege engines thanks to their [[Tyranid_Bio-Weapons#Bio-Flail|Bio-Flail]] and [[Tyranid_Bio-Weapons#Wrecker Claws|Wrecker Claw]] combo. They have a bevvy of special rules making it even easier for them to knock down buildings (never a big problem for 'fexes, but a job's a job), and reduce incoming fire strength. They aren't bad melee 'fexes even if your opponent has no buildings, though, and are reliable enough investments to a stompy 'nid list.

==See Also==
*[[Jeanstealer]]
*[[Lolifex]]
*[[Unyuufex]]
*[[Tyranid]]
*[[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX]]

== External Links ==

*[http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Carnifex The Carnifex article] on [[Lexicanum]].

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Xenos]]

[[Category: Tyranid]]

[[Category: Megafauna]]

{{Tyranids-Creatures}}

Blizzard

2021-08-28T09:03:04Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:44C1:DB3B:C5E6:7800: /* Scandals */

{{/vg/}}
{{topquote|Imitation is the sincerest of flattery.|Charles C. Colton, ''Lacon: Or, Many Things in a Few Words: Addressed to Those Who Think''}}

{{Infobox Deity
|Name = Blizzard
|Symbol = [[File:Fluff Accurate.jpg|300px]]
|Alignment = Stupid Chaotic Evil
|Divine Rank = AAA
|Pantheon = Activision
|Portfolio =
|Domains = Greed, Falls From Grace, Bad Ideas, Terrible Writing (Formerly: Polish, Execution, Unoriginality)
|Home Plane = California
|Worshippers = Gamers,
|Favoured Weapon = Exploit worker, Union Breaker, Retcons, Virtue Signal, Weinsteinian culture, IP theft
}}

__NOTOC__
'''Blizzard Entertainment, Inc.''' is an American-owned servant of the PRC and [[/v/|video game]] developer founded in 1991. Consumed by corporate merger shenanigans in 2008, they are now a subsidiary of parent company Activision Blizzard. They are well known in the gaming community for rising to prominence by shamelessly ripping off a long list of things, the most pertinent to [[/tg/]] being the similarity between its flagship franchises and ''[[Warhammer 40k]]''. Blizzard is akin to Apple Inc.: they never ''really'' did anything original, and instead took inspiration/borrowed/stole content from other sources, marketing it as though they're pretty much posterboys of the brand, and took the credit for being "pioneers of said genre". [[Games Workshop|Let it not be said they didn't steal their business/creative practices from the best]].

While not as skubtastic as [[Kaldor Draigo|the]] [[Matt Ward|other]] [[Grey Knights|things]] [[Ultramarines|present]], it still does cause tensions in /tg/ when brought up. Especially if it concerns one of their games' [[fluff]].

While Blizzard does [[Blood Ravens|"borrow"]] other people's ideas, there's no denying marketing spends a lot of time and effort studying those ideas, figuring why they are successful, and what parts of these ideas should be improved or removed to make them better. This leads to creating a few extremely well done and successful games, in turn earning a [[Profit|LOT of money]]. While other studios may create revolutionary content, Blizzard is more about ''evolution,'' with their games becoming golden standards of quality, and "easy to learn, hard to master" learning curves. They are also responsible for creating the game-dev meme ''"when it's done,"'' which means they could literally spend a decade on mismanagement one game, probably spending too much time doing drugs in the office, and another decade to force the dev team into crunch with a shit-ton of balance patches, while management pisses off to GDC but it's to be expected, given all other major game developers are the same, if not [[EA|much, much worse]].

[[Skub|There's contention]] between the legions of GW and the hordes of Blizzard in regards to copyrights, who invented which idea first, and whether any ripping-off in fact occurred. Facts seem to lean in the direction of yes, actually. Blizzard's co founder Allen Adham wanted to get the license to the Warhammer Universe however the [https://kotaku.com/how-warcraft-was-almost-a-warhammer-game-and-how-that-5929161 business side of the deal fell through], and the team wasn't keen on working for someone else. The exaggerated features and painted art style of the table top minis was adapted for low poly games. It boggles the mind that there still hasn't been legal trouble for this, and leads many to speculate that there's an off the books deal. Fa/tg/uys tend to accuse Blizzard of ripping off most of [[Games Workshop]]'s content, and they're right. They often write long angry posts about why Blizzard an evil company, what was stolen from their precious settings, and why Blizzard games sucks so much. But this is normal operating procedure for khornporation, Ip for the Ip throne after all. This sounds hilarious when you think about Games Workshop, who does steal '''all''' of its content from other settings. Blizzard only concentrates what's awesome about James Workshop and repackages it after doing minimal rework.

If you ever meet a raging fan, crying about plagiarism, <s>ignore the fucking troll</s> [[lulz|throw oil on the fire and get a-trolling]]. Alternatively, keep raging about [[The Ultimate Necron Cheese List|Necron Flyer Lists]]/[[rage|Terran Hellion Drop]] imbalance.

'''TL;DR''': Good [[crunch]], meh fluff (their memorable humor is arguably the best part of it), they are the [[Tzeentch]]/[[Slaanesh]] to GW's [[Nurgle]].

==Scandals==

From the late 2010's onwards, the company has experienced a steadily worsening fall from grace; whereas Blizzard was usually the universally beloved grand-daddy of the gaming world, albeit with one skubby exception in the form of Diablo 3, a number of PR-fuckups, shallow cashgrabs, [[Communism|grievances of the developers that actually make the games]] and the revelation of pervasive sexual harassment of staff have all but crushed their reputation. In a funny twist of fate, when it comes to their products, Blizzard is currently making a lot of the mistakes Geedubs made before [[Kevin Rountree]] took over. Here are some of the biggest failures and crimes - yes, really - in recent times;

'''November 3, 2018:''' During Blizcon, Diablo Immortals was announced as a mobile game. Gamers were livid, with one asking if it was an out of season April fools joke. The Gamer rage made an notable impact on stock price, taking months to recover afterwards.

'''Feburary 12, 2019:''' Blizzard fired 800 employees after reporting record earning.

'''October 6, 2019:''' During a tournament, Chinese [[Hearthstone]] pro-player Blitzchung appeared wearing a gas mask and goggles in a live stream and showed support to the Hong Kong Protests. Near the end of the live stream he said “Liberate Hong Kong. Revolution of our age”, a recognized slogan in the Hong Kong protest. After the interview Blizzard disqualified Blitzchung and stripped him of his prize money, and banned him for a year. Backlash was immediate, users deleted Blizzard accounts and destroyed games while #BoycottBlizzard trended with thousands retweeting.

'''October 28, 2019:''' Blizzard announced a $660,000 prize pool for their annual arena/mythic dungeon world tournaments, after previously releasing a set of promotional in-game toys, promising 1/4 of the sales would go towards said prize pool. Most fans believed the money made from the sales would be added to the $500,000 minimum that Blizzard had promised. However, after competing players confronted Blizzard officials, it was revealed that Blizzard had instead chosen to rely entirely on the sales profit for the prize pool, making off with ~$2 million themselves from the other 3/4 of the sales and contributing nothing out of their own pockets. Nerd rage ensued.

'''January 28th, 2020:''' Blizzard released the remastered version of Warcraft 3. The game came out in a notoriously unfinished, buggy and featureless state and used advertisement that borders on being fraudulent (Australian and EU authorities actually filed a lawsuit against Blizzard for misleading advertisements), was missing features the original game had ''13 years ago'', [[RAGE|'''claimed ownership of any custom content created for the game in the ToS in a really, really stupid move that is also illegal under US and EU law''' - especially since Blizzard is a US company]] and even refused to offer refunds, which prompted another lawsuit by EU authorities against them. The game also completely replaced the original Warcraft 3 on the launcher, locking players out of the original unless they have the physical discs and instead prompting them to download the "improved" version.

'''August 4, 2020:''' Employees shared a spreadsheet of salaries and recent pay increases showing that few were given raises after crunch, and overtime. Many employees, despite working at one of the biggest video game companies were struggling to pay rent and using the company's free coffee as an appetite suppressant as they cut meals. Apparently that 5 year service sword does not also pay rent.

'''October 16th, 2020:''' Blizzard announced that they would put Starcraft 2 into maintenance mode, ceasing any content updates in the future. This has left a lot of players angry and sad, especially since Starcraft 2 is one of the very last remaining RTS with a decently sized playerbase and competitive scene.

'''July 22nd, 2021:''' California's Department of Fair Employment filed a civil lawsuit against Activision/Blizzard for sexual harassment of numerous employees - especially female employees, some of the incidents going back years. The final catalyst was the suicide of a female employee who was one of the victims of said harassment. According to the lawsuit, the culprits are from several levels in the company (former Senior Creative Director Alex Afrasiabi and former CTO Ben Kilgore are among them), the charges include unwanted groping and posting intimate pictures without their consent, and that other execs knew of the abuses but did nothing. The situation wasn't helped when several Blizzard employees lashed out at several high-profile WoW commentators and streamers such as Asmongold for criticizing them, trying to shift blame onto them despite those streamers having nothing to do with the company or the abuse. With morale at an all-time low and widespread stress, the development of new projects (or at least World of Warcraft) has been stopped until the situation is resolved. Sponsors have started to turn on Blizzard and executive-level employees, such as J. Allen Brack and Jesse Meschuk, have been leaving the company (unclear whether it's voluntary resignations or firings as per the standard sugar-coated dismissals for top level business execs).
* '''July 28, 2021:''' After delivering a open letter to the upper management, a portion of Blizzard staff staged a walkout protest that gained considerable news coverage. There has been increasing support for staff to unionize, with Blizzard's Board of Directors responding by consulting the same legal firm whose lawyers prevented Amazon's staff from unionizing.
* '''August 3rd, 2021''' J. Allen Brack is succeeded by "co-leaders" Jen Oneal and Mike Ybarra following his departure (with accusations being leveled that Brack left to deliberately avoid being confronted over knowing about the abuses but not stopping them).
* '''August 25th, 2021''' Members of Activision Blizzard are caught interfering with the investigation by doing witness tampering - requiring employees to speak with the company ahead of contacting the DFEH, amending the complaint and even accused of destroying evidence by shredding records from the HR archives. This was added to the lawsuit, and could take the case from a civil lawsuit to a criminal lawsuit.

==Franchises relevant to /tg/==

*'''''[[Warcraft|WarCraft]]:''''' A real-time strategy (RTS) series; initially [[Orc]]s vs [[Human]]s but then later games added more races. Then it became a [[MMORPG]] with [[World of Warcraft|all kinds of crazy shit]]. Particularly notable to /tg/ because it spilled over into multiple genres: There were [[World of Warcraft: The Roleplaying Game|two separate editions of a ''D&D'' campaign setting]], a physical [[Card_Game#Collectible_Card_Games|trading card game]] and has its own board games too.
*'''''[[StarCraft]]:''''' RTS IN SPHESSSSS! <s>[[Space Marines]]</s> [[Imperial Guard|Terrans]] vs [[Tyranids|Zerg]] vs [[Eldar|Protoss]]. Beyond being the national sport of Korea, the ''StarCraft'' franchise has its own board game and has its own unique version of ''[[Risk]]'' which alters the rules just enough so that it isn't merely a re-skinned version of ''Risk''.
*'''''[[Diablo]]:''''' [[Grimdark]] [[Dark Fantasy]] setting involving the wars between [[Angel]]s and [[Demon]]s, and also not actually made by Blizzard. It was made instead by an outfit named Condor, which got bought out by Davidson & Associates, which also bought out a little outfit named Chaos Studios. Then, Chaos Studios got renamed '''Blizzard''', and Condor was renamed '''Blizzard North''', which is why Diablo ended up being playable on battle.net. Meanwhile, another group of guys named Synergistic Software got bought out by Sierra On-Line, which was in turn acquired by CUC International, which gobbled up Davidson & Associates, which was how the job of making Diablo's expansion pack, Hellfire, got farmed out to Synergistic. However, Condor and Blizzard both had veto power over Synergistic's ideas, and Condor, which was already working on Diablo II, didn't want anything to be in Hellfire that was also going to be in D2, which is why the Barbarian and secret cow quest had to be cut and why Hellfire couldn't be played over Battle.net even though the code totally worked. There was a [[fail|short-lived]] attempt to port the Diablo franchise into both [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons#AD&D 2nd Edition|2nd Edition]] and [[Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition|3rd Edition]] ''Dungeons and Dragons'', though the results were not particularly successful or well-remembered.
*'''''Hearthstone:''''' A digital collectible card game. Think ''[[Magic: The Gathering|MtG]]'' but all the depth and complexity got replaced with RNG bullshit. Also it only costs you one kidney to gather a good card collection rather than [[Forgeworld|both, one leg, one testicle, and the soul of your firstborn child]] , but Blizzard seems dedicated to catch back on that missed profit by adding more content that cannot be bought with in-game currency (gold) and going the way of the battlepass...wait, what do you mean they have two passes?

==Blizzard things that aren't (/tg/ related) rip-offs==
In 1992, they made ''Battle Chess'' for the Commodore 64 & MS-DOS, and also a ''[[Lord of the Rings]]'' [[RPG]] for the Amiga. The ''LotR'' game was supposed to be just the first book, with two sequels, but they never got around to finishing it. They made ''RPM Racing'' (allegedly the first American-made SNES game) and ''Rock n' Roll Racing'' for the Super Nintendo and the Sega Megadrive but that's [[/v/]] shit. They also made a side-scrolling Superman beat 'em up and a shitty Justice League fighting game for a dose of [[/co/]] crap too. There's also their game ''The Lost Vikings'', a platforming puzzle game where you control three [[vikings]], each of them with their own special abilities (Erik the Swift can run faster and jump higher than the other two and also bash through walls with his horned helmet, Baleog the Fierce can shoot an arrow and kill enemies with his sword and Olaf the Stout can block with shield which he can also use like a hang-glider.) Since the game has vikings in it, /tg/ might be interested in it due to their [[Warriors of Chaos|viking fetish]]. A sequel was also made, ''The Lost Vikings 2'', which added two more characters, a [[werewolf]] named Fang and Scorch the [[dragon]], but it's kind of a rarity. Fast forward to more recent times, trying to cash in on the growing MOBA-craze, Blizzard developed ''Heroes of the Storm'' by throwing all their decent franchises into a blender to make one mediocre new game, which is ironic considering highly customized user-made ''StarCraft'' and ''WarCraft III'' maps pretty much spawned the MOBA genre in the first place. Blizz's most recent success is the first-person shooter ''Overwatch''. Though hilariously similar to ''[[Team Fortress 2]]'' and [[Blood Ravens|drawing upon]] various sci-fi and fantasy sources, it presents a somewhat unique (albeit poorly fleshed-out) [[noblebright]] setting and characters that are mostly [[/d/|fapbait/schlickbait]].

==[[Skub|Legitimately unbiased comparison]]==
<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">
Both of the companies' products have a bevy of similarities and differences that can be factually assessed without any real bias. Beginning here is a <s>comprehensive</s> tiny list of the comparisons between popular topics of much [[RAGE|debate]].

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">
===[[Orks]] vs. [[Orc#Warcraft|Orcs]]===

While it is true that the light green skin, angry porcine face with lots of tusks, and heavyset jawlines are traits shared across the two species of Orcoids, that's about where the similarities end. While [[Orks]] are brutal, fun-loving omnicidal maniacs who love the [[Dakka]] and only momentarily hesitate to shoot something if it's sufficiently green and orky, [[orcs]] in Blizzard's universe actually eventually filled the unique role of being good guys. For the most part, anyway, back when they were first through the portals they were extremely bloodthirsty but as time has gone on they've settled down nicely. This is actually a first, as no other universe is really known for having Orcs who can be described as friendly (''[[Strike Legion]]'' is a good example though as well as the elder scrolls). In fact the Orcs of Blizzard's universe are the glue of their faction, serving as the lynch-pin by which the other races come together as one Horde.

Similarly, Orkzes iz da biggest an' da strongest., with the lowly boy far more buff than your standard human and only getting taller and taller as they age. Orcs, while significantly physically imposing, are roughly the same height as average humans, and are dwarfed by their [[Minotaur|Tauren]] allies.

Though it should be noted, that at current state Orcs spawned a total of three [[BBEG]]s of the setting, including the first Lich King himself, while most other races, except dragons and (technically) draenei, have their count on one or zero. The Orks, on the other hand, ''are'' the BBEGs.

===Terran Marines vs Space Marines===

This should be somewhat obvious. Space Marines, as deigned by [[GW]], are one-man armies, raised from a young age to be killing machines and then augmented to become superhuman monstrosities. Terran Marines, by comparison, are pitiful. If we're being very generous, they're an analogue for the [[Stormtrooper|Tempestus corps.]], but with a worse track record. They are literally a case of the government or rebel faction finding every hick and criminal they can and shoving them in a brainwashing tank, slapping power armor on them, pumping them with drugs, handing them a gun, and telling them to [[Tarpit|keep shooting until it stops moving]]. And, considering everything in the ''StarCraft'' universe can pierce through tanks and [[/m/|giant mechs]], not to mention some power armor, those marines aren't likely to survive their first deployment. So, to put it simply, Terran Marines are really closer to Guardsmen or Penal Legionnaires, except with better guns and even more drugs. And like the Guard, they have really nice tanks and fantastic artillery.

===Zergs vs [[Tyranids]]===

Both are races of ravenous, rapidly evolving beasts under the control of a distant supreme intelligence, both use biotechnology instead of tools, most of their units are fast, deadly, fragile and numerous, and they even look almost the same. The last part is actually to GW's shame, since they all but copy-pasted the Zerg appearance into Tyranids in 3rd edition, mostly to capitalize on the ''StarCraft'' financial success (yes, they were that greedy and shameless even back then).

Secondly, while the Tyranids' hive mind is their collective consciousness, the Zerg have actual physical entities with emotions and personalities to rule them - from the lowly Overlords, to the Cerebrates, to the Overmind itself (or Overlords - Hive Queens - Broodmothers - The Queen of Blades after Kerrigan took over control), and with that they also get some actual character development and political struggles in their ranks - something 'Nids solely lack as their only real agenda revolves around planet-hopping towards that psychic light known as the [[Golden Throne]], all the while eating everything on the way. Even though most Cerebrates merged into the new Overmind and were killed by Kerrigan (and her puppets) during Brood War, the real reason that they never showed up again was that their hierarchy was similar enough to the 'Nids that the Cerebrates were killed off off-screen and cut from ''StarCraft II'' as a way of [http://comments.deviantart.com/1/359035454/2977652201 Blizzard playing nice with Games Workshop].

Zergs also do not eat worlds like Tyranids do - only conquer and colonize them, which automatically lowers their Eldritch Unstoppable Evil level by half.

There's also a variant of Zerg called the Primal Zerg, which have a strictly more reptilian/mammalian aesthetic and are notably individuals that operate in Packs. Despite being individuals, some with marked intelligence, they're all basically just focused on eating strong prey and surviving and have no ambitions or desires beyond that one dimension.

===Burning Legion vs [[Daemon#Warhammer_40,000|Daemons of Chaos]]===
Both are evil demons, who came from the [[Eye of Terror|dimension of magic]] and want to [[Exterminatus|destroy everything]]. The Burning Legion, however, is everything but chaotic, and is highly organized and structured, and even after their dark god Sargeras got himself killed, they managed to keep their shit together. Moreover, unlike Chaos Daemons, who are the manifestations of emotions and magic, creatures of the Legion are mostly normal sapient biological beings, transformed through overuse of fel magic, or artificial constructs, enlivened by said fel magic. Unlike [[Chaos Gods]], who want the eternal conflict just for the sake of it (which makes sense, given they are empowered by emotions, and conflicts stimulate more emotions), the Burning Legion have clear goals, which are: 1) Gather all the magic, 2) Use it to destroy the Creation, 3) Hope a new, better one comes along. 4) [[Meme|???]], 5) [[Profit|PROFIT]]!

===Protoss vs [[Eldar]]===
You fucking kidding me? OK, both are psychic race with small numbers and long lifespan, both have tech, superior to everything in their setting (save Necrons and Xel'Naga respectively), and both are quite arrogant about their superiority. And that's it. Protoss are tough as adamantium bunkers, can warp in infantry almost instantly any place with an energy field, are fast as a slime, hit like every fucking one of them is armed with a tank cannon or a [[Power Fist]] and tend to move in big unkillable all-destroying deathballs of doom, while Eldar are fast as hell, can be killed by a mean look, and tend to zoom around in small groups at mind-blowing speed, surgically shooting/cutting down priority targets before retreating to the safety of cover. Culture-wise Protoss are closer to [[Tau]] than to Eldar, with a rigid caste system and hierarchy, and the highly collectivist ideology of the Khala, which is actually almost the same as the Tau's Greater Good. From this perspective Dark Templar are basically the Farsight enclave, who told the Khala and its Ethe... I meant Judicators to fuck off and left to build their new home without that brainwashing <s>pheromones</s> psi-internet bullshit. Oh, wait, the Tau Empire was introduced 3 years after the release of ''StarCraft''... OOPS!

Both the Protoss and Eldar also fell out of their golden ages pretty hard, though that's about where the similarities end. The Eldar caused their empire's fall entirely on their own, between all the murder-fucking and general debauchery that was getting out of hand, to such a point that not only did it reduce their species' population to a pitiful fraction of what it once was, but also damned each and every Eldar soul that exists (or has yet to exist) by creating one of the four Chaos Gods responsible for a shit ton of the Grimdark in 40k. Even though the Eldar are fighting against all odds, and making ''some'' progress with the birth of Ynnead, the chance of them actually ever returning to a semblance of their former glory is about as likely as the God-Emperor of Mankind leaping from the Golden Throne and declaring the Imperium of Man a Xenos-inclusive democracy. The Protoss, on the otherhand, are only partially responsible for their fall from power, as the internal strife between the Judicator Caste and Templar Caste didn't exactly help prepare them for when the Zerg invaded their homeworld of Aiur. The surviving Protoss as a whole had to evacuate to Shakuras, where their Dark Templar kin granted them sanctuary (in that kind of arrogant "look at how cool and caring we are ''despite'' you exiling our kind" mindset). Also unlike the Eldar, the Protoss are notably reclaiming their former glory. Having made buddies with the Dark Templar, Purifiers (sentient Protoss AI), Tal'Darim (to the Protoss the way Dark Eldar are to the Craftworlders), the collective Protoss race took back Aiur and is currently rebuilding a unified homeworld for all Protoss.

</div>
</div>

'''TL;DR''': A game company with an emphasis on quality (usually), responsible for both awesome and terrible things. If you really want to know what's what, go look it up yourself from a better source than 1d4chan.

Vikings

2021-08-28T08:44:32Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:44C1:DB3B:C5E6:7800: /* Culture */

{{Topquote|It was not as if we'd stayed home and wasted our lives drinking wine with pretty girls.|A recurring motif in the Lay of Kraka}}
[[Image:VikingShip.jpg|500px|thumb|right|A Viking Longship, A thirty meter long can o' [[rape]] (literally) back in the day.]]
'''Vikings''' were Scandinavian people from the 8th to 11th century, a period in which societies based in Denmark, Norway and Sweden, making use of their long-ships set forth to trade and colonize areas including Northern France, the British Isles, Russia, Iceland, Greenland and even reached North America (though the settlements they set up there did not last). They also made a habit of bathing and washing their hands frequently, which at the time was unheard of among the peoples of Europe. Probably because they had to have about two dozen dudes on a small boat for a long time, so you would regularly bathe if you didn't want to be [[That Guy]]. They only stopped when France, of all countries, rolled a nat 20 on Diplomacy by offering Normandy (deriving its name from the French word for Vikings, meaning Northmen), the northern part of France to duke Rollo. One of his descendents by the name of William (the Conqueror) ended up with a claim to the throne of a place populated with Anglo-Saxons named Anglo-land (later known as England), and ultimately became its king. So in other words, in an attempt to stop Viking raids, France ended up creating what became their arch-enemy for 800 years, making it one of the biggest cases of [[not as planned]] in history.

[[file:Movie_game_viking_vs_historical_viking.png|400px|thumb|right|Only equalled by the [[Ninja]] in this regard]]
Unlike popular belief, they did not wear horned helmets. This is for the practical reason that a big horned helmet might catch a sword unintentionally, which is all sorts of bad for the wearer; horned helmets were used on occasion, but only for ceremony. The ol' "horn-headed people eater" image was popularized during the 1800s. In general actually, historical Vikings don't have much in common with their pop-culture image aside from longships and fondness for raiding, as the pop-culture image tends to be that of a barbaric dirty warrior carrying unwieldy weapons and wearing stinky fur and leather clothes when in reality, Vikings appreciated hygiene as mentioned above, groomed their beards and had clean clothes, making them in many ways more civilized than rest of Europe at the time. Their weapons consisted mostly of simple spears, bearded axes and dane axes and of course the trusty round shield. While most Vikings had helmets, few had swords or armor as they were very expensive at the time. The pop-culture image of dirty barbarians derives mostly from the fact that history comes mostly from the writings of the Anglo-Saxons and the French, as in, those who were raided by the Vikings so naturally they didn't have particularly good or unbiased image of them.

As a final note "Viking" is not a noun, but a verb. Proper usage would be something like "Hey Olaf, I'm bored and need some spending money, want to go viking?" (The noun form would be ''víkingr'', a person who goes ''viking''). The people who went Viking were known as Norse.

==Culture==
Vikings believed that when they died in battle (preferably in a totally fuck-awesome way) they would go to a place called Valhalla to become one of the Einherjar (Chosen Slain) or to Fólkvangr (the realm controlled by Freyja, the Nordic goddess of love, prosperity, spring and being foxy as hell; also a death goddess and war goddess, which is why she gets half the chosen warriors in the first place), where they would chug booze, [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|eat all the meat and cheese they wanted]], and (if that actually managed to get dull) participate in massive murderfests only to be fully healed the next day and ready to do it all over again. On the other hand, if they died in bed or in a totally lame way (such as AIDs or cancer or... actually anywhere but battle is lame) they would instead go to a totally boring place called Hel where NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED! '''EVER!''' (As you might imagine, this became problematic for many of their folk heroes who were just that fucking hard to kill). And if ''that'' weren't bad enough, people who committed what the vikings saw as the unforgivable sins, like oathbreaking, went to a prison overseen by the goddess of the dead. The ceiling is made from the bones of serpents, which drip burning venom, the halls are waist-deep in cold, slimy blood, and there is nothing to drink but goats piss and nothing to eat but rotten food (basically a Minnesota Vikings game, but one that never ends and the weather's always bad). The exception is if you died while giving birth, then you got go to Valhalla; the vikings were surprisingly fair for their day in their attitudes towards the sexes.

That said, there was the ''third'' way to die. Dying at sea was totally cool for the Vikings, for while the Battle-junkies went to Valhalla and Freya, and the lame ones went to Hel, the Sea-Bears went to the Halls of Aegir, god of the sea, where they got their own Watery Valhalla.

Vikings aren't known for being peaceful or nice, [https://historycollection.com/16-facts-about-the-brutality-of-viking-life/ there's good reasons Vikings have a reputation for brutality]. Plus during their raiding parties, they would enslave, rape and/or kill the non-Viking people they encountered. Afterwards, the Vikings would [[Blood_Ravens#Bloody_Magpies|steal ''everything'' they could carry.]] If it couldn't be carried, they'd ''burn'' it. If they couldn't burn it they'd ''''SMASH'''' it! And remember, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turgesius at times they weren't above attacking people or places that couldn't defend themselves].

They continued doing this until they inadvertently stole Christianity and equipped it without reading the effect text, whereupon Viking warlords started to conquer shit rather than rape, pillage and kill everything in their sight. For quite a long time a large chunk of France and Italy, and the entirety of England and Russia were ruled by Vikings or their descendants, although they all got quickly assimilated into the nations they've conquered, to the point when they started to think of themselves as French/Russians in just a two or three generations after settling in. The Vikings also had a level of prestige in the Byzantine Empire, as they were the preferred recruits for the Emperor's bodyguard, the Varangian Guard.

=== [[Mythology#Norse Mythology|Norse Mythology]] ===
Like Greek mythology, the Norse have their own version of creation, different sets of gods, and heroic stories of manly feats. Here are some of them (Note that, much like Celtic mythology, Norse mythology was only written down long after Scandanavia had become Christian, so there remains a massive amount of missing stories [[Skub|assuming they survived unchanged before this]] (for example, while the war between the Vanir and the Aesir is mentioned, we don't actually have the full description of it, even though at one time it probably existed) and even much of what has survived should probably be taken with a grain of salt since whoever wrote it probably didn't hear about it first-hand or wanted to be syncretistic about it to help make it palpable for a Christian audience.

==In Modern Fiction==
Vikings and the honorable Neanderthals are some of the closest that the real world has ever had to [[dwarves]], but they should not be confused as such. While they had a penchant for [[axe]]s and could use anything, [[Dwarf Fortress|including body parts and broken furniture]], as a weapon, Vikings were just unspeakably awesome humans (they couldn't handle as much booze as a dwarf, though only just). Vikings that [[Toothless Dragon|rode Dragons]] even more so. Vikings are not to be confused with [[barbarian]]s either, despite any combination with the former resulting in awesome. [[Warriors of Chaos|Vikings are also notable for pledging themselves to Chaos]] and becoming [[Space Wolves|werewolf supersoldiers]].

The Vikings have also finally gotten their own TV show starring Vladimir Kullich. It is about the saga of Ragnar Lothbrok and his sons; Bjorn Ironside, Ivar the Boneless, Sigurd Snake-eye, Halfdan, Hvitserk, and Ubbe, as well as the tales of Duke Rollo of Normandy, King Harald Fairhair, and Alfred the Great of Wessex. On a side note, most stories and documentaries about real-life Vikings demonize either the Norse or the Saxons at the very least (the aforementioned TV show zig-zags between them); which side gets demonized '''will''' depend on how the writers feel about the Saxons or Christianity.

==Viking Longships==

The thing that put the Vikings on the map were their Longships (or LongBOAT if you're not [[skub|American]]). Basically these were large canoes made from planks with a mast to catch the wind. They could, however handle rough northern seas very well, and allowed some Vikings to reach such exotic locales as Newfoundland centuries before other Europeans. One thing that helped made the Longships such a gamechanger was that the vikings worked out that properly curing and drying out timbers it made it stronger and more resistant to being eaten at sea by nematodes and similar grody things. Another thing is that the ship didn't go much under water, which allowed it to be used in almost any river. This led to things such as a fleet of 120 ships and 5000 men suddenly appearing in the middle of Paris in 845. It was also possible to bring the mast down for increased aerodynamics and decreased risk of detection when the ship was moved by rowing.

Sometimes to save travel time, the Vikings would pull their Longships overland for kilometers. No joking, no hyperbole. A few tricks (like log rollers) helped, though. One of them (Oleg, the prince of Kievan Russ) even mounted his longships on wheels to quickly move them into Constantinople harbor, bypassing the defensive chain pulled across the path (which possibly inspired the Ottoman sultan Mehmed II when he used a similar trick to help him capture Constantinople).

Their Longships also had an [[derp|early warning system]] so that people could tell wether they were going to fuck them up or not. It's to do with the shields:
If the Shields were on the outside of their Longships, then they were coming to trade goods.
If the Shields were not on the outside of their Longships, then they were going to use them in battle, and you should run for the hills (if you get that far...)

==Viking Berserkers==
There's lot of bullshit about these guys on the internet and in general beliefs. Hell, the word itself had became the synonym of uncontrollable rage in many languages. The truth, however, is quite boring - berserkers (which comes from the Old Norse for "bear hide", as it was their signature piece of clothes they wore above armor, or sometimes instead of it) were equivalents of champions in the Norse culture with a pitch of warrior-priest flavor added - i.e. the guys who fought in duels on behalf of the tribe or some wealthy noble. And Norse culture had a fuckton of things settled with duels. As best of the best professional warriors among already brutally strong vikings they kicked all kinds of asses, and were rightfully feared for their skill and bravery. As you may guess, they where quite rare, so no "hordes" or even "squads" of berserkers for you - at best you'd have two or three per raid, and most often only one. As for uncontrollable rage... well, sagas mention a total of ZERO berserkers going into what we now call "[[Khorne|berserker]] rage" - there are mentions of jarls and ordinary warriors going to battle biting shields, foaming with mad anger and killing friend and foe alike, but never berserkers. WRONG:

{{topquote|-And as the foemen's ships drew near, The dreadful din you well might hear Savage berserks roaring mad, And champions fierce in wolf-skins clad, Howling like wolves; and clanking jar.|Harald Fairhair Saga ch 19.}}
Mushroom brew painkiller that allow to fight despite heavy or even fatal wounds likewise weren't their exclusive, although proper brew (that wouldn't ruin your liver, therefore sentencing you to a lame death in your bed if you survive the battle) was quite expensive, and berserkers, as pretty much second-in-command of jarls were among those wealthy enough to afford it.

==D&D==
{{dnd-stub}}

==Pathfinder==
===1e===
Viking is a [[Fighter]] archetype from ''People of the North'', that was reprinted with small changes that buff it in ''Ultimate Wilderness''. In exchange for heavy armor, and weapon training it gives the ability to rage like a [[Barbarian]] and take rage powers in place of feats. It also replaces armor training with some bonuses to using a shield. It's not a ''terrible'' archetype, but suffers from the fact that rage+shield lacks synergy as a fighting style, weapon training being the source of most fighter support, and the question of "why don't you just play a Barbarian when you've given up everything that makes Fighter competitive with Barbarian?" having few good answers, so it winds up a suboptimal archetype.

===2e===
{{dnd-stub}}
An archetype that any class can take if you want to be a melee guy that knows some things about sailing and moving through water. You learn how to best use a shield, not be slow by wet terrain, in addition, to throw things while Running. Works well as an early investment in a sailing campaign where your often fighting in the ocean surf or in a swamp, while also dipping into additional weapon proficencys and shields usage in the same tree.

{{Pathfinder-2nd-Edition-Archetypes}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Elspeth_and_Vikings.png|When [[Elspeth Tirel]] needs backup, these are the people she calls.
Image:WarbandViking.jpg| JEG SKALL DRIKKE FRA HODESKALLEN DIN!!!.
Image:Lego_Viking_ship.jpg|Pillaging colorful brick villages since 576 A.D.
</gallery></center>

==See Also==
* [[Pirate]]
*[[The Poetic Edda]]
[[Category:History]]

Dark Eldar

2021-08-28T07:29:49Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:44C1:DB3B:C5E6:7800:

{{Heresy}}
[[Image:Dark_Eldar_Symbol.png‎|center]]
[[Image:Dark Eldar Raid Colored by MajesticChicken.jpg|right|thumb|600px|Mercy? Interesting word, I always wanted to know its meaning.]]
{{Topquote|Last call for morals! Better cover your drink! Sodom and Gomorrah’d! Let it pour down the sink!|”Front Street” by Will Wood and the Tapeworms (also known as the national anthem for [[Commorragh]])}}
{{Topquote|If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skin into their clothing. And, if we're really, really lucky, they'll do it in that order.|Zoe Washburn, ''Firefly''}}
{{Topquote|What we were after now was the old surprise visit. That was a real kick, and good for laughs and lashings of the old ultraviolent.|Alex - A Clockwork Orange (describes their attitude to raiding quite well)}}

The '''Dark Eldar''' (also known as the '''Drukhari''', cuz trademark reasons or ''Aeldarix malum'' if you're a xenobiologist) are the villainous, Extra [[Grimdark]], and more BDSM obsessed counterparts of the [[Eldar]], who followed the horrific depravity that saw the Eldar Empire destroyed. Continuing such lovely traditions as mutilation for its own sake, creative variations of rape, and dedicated polysubstance abuse constitute the Dark Eldar's claim to be the "true" and "traditionalist" Eldar, while disparaging their Craftworld and Exodite kin as having abandoned their grimdark elfiness because said grimdark elfiness caused, you know, the whole [[Fall of the Eldar|goatse-in-the-fabric-of-the-galaxy thing.]] They kind of have a point, but given how they have to suppress their innate psychic natures, lacking an anchor of a world spirit, spirit stone, or Creepy Clown God, they have to keep Creepy Rape God from trying to nom their soul-stuff by doing horrible things to others. And each other. And themselves. Truthfully, all of the elfy branches have deviated in their own ways after the Fall, but only the Dark Eldar do so by way of doing even more of the depraved shit that caused the Fall in the first place. So there's something to be said for them being traditionalists, after all; His Grand Spikiness [[Asdrubael Vect]] is hinted at having been around for the last big [[Anal circumference|blowout]] [[Eye of Terror|party]], and Commorragh's [[Urien Rakarth|Chief Surgeon]] is confirmed to have been present for it.

They get away with this in part by living in the byzantine port city [[Commorragh]] in the [[Webway]], spiriting out from the shadows on occasion to take slaves and to commit unspeakable atrocities on whoever they capture. Particularly when they are outside the Webway, they're in constant danger from [[Slaanesh|"She Who Thirsts"]] unless they go on and on in a self-reinforcing, vicious cycle of debauchery. They're the [[Honsou|sickest fucks]] in all of [[Warhammer 40,000]], which is a hell of an accomplishment, even for [[Slaanesh|the literal god of pleasure and excess]]. Their lives revolve around sadistic torture, making them a sort of cross between the Cenobites from Hellraiser and the Reavers from Firefly. They are mainly pirates, though sometimes hire themselves out as mercenaries before they inevitably betray their employers.

Surprisingly, Dark Eldar draw a lot of inspiration from the Fair Folk - not the pussy Disney pixi-fairies, but the [[World of Darkness]]-style inhumanly beautiful monsters that make humans suffer just for their own amusement, kidnap children to turn them into pets/slaves, and run the Wild Hunt that kill maim and rape everything in its wake, vanishing without a trace at dawn. Commonly derided for being the biggest Edge-Lords in the galaxy (or "scene-kid" Eldar), Dark Eldar come across as the only race that's actively trying to ''one-up'' Chaos for title of the universe's most grimdark faction.

For their fantasy counterparts see [[Druchii]].

==History==
The Eldar, after the [[FATAL|disaster]] that caused [[Slaanesh]] and [[Eye of Terror|turned their empire into the universe's biggest Goatse.cx reference]], destroying their race and [[grimdark|killing 90% or so of their population outright]], were a dying race. Slaanesh was devouring their souls like Eldar McNuggets, and it was only through ascetic mysticism and use of Soulstones that the Eldar could avoid getting vored by She Who Thirsts. Conventional wisdom was that these Eldar only survived on craftworlds and the maiden worlds that the Eldar had colonized before the fall, and some of these still fell into genocidal madness (the Blood Angels and Ordo Sinister were needed to destroy one such Craftworld).

[[Dawn of War|Conventional wisdom]], of course, [[C.S.Goto|means little in the 40K universe]]. Whilst most of the Eldar were mass-raped to death by Slaanesh when their falling into depraved cycles of decadence reached critical mass and caused a Chaos god to be born, a few of them survived because they were in parts of the Webway (a portal network that the Eldar use for transportation). They escaped with no real ill-effects, or so they thought. In reality, Slaanesh was slowly nomming their souls just like she does every Eldar without a Soulstone - however, they found that by [[Grimdark|continuing to engage in rampant hedonism and by torturing and inflicting pain and anguish on other creatures would reduce or even reverse the effects of Slaanesh's hold on them]], forcing them to seek out and capture, kill, and torment the "lesser" races of the galaxy in order to satiate themselves and stave off their doom. Which actually seems to be working out pretty well for those deldar who are sick enough fucks, because they wind up being more or less immortal.

Sadistic and psychotic to the point of making your average [[Chaos Space Marines|Chaos Marine]] look like hippies in contrast, hopped up on cocktails of combat stimulant drugs, and armed predominantly with weapons and equipment that cause [[Indrick Boreale|unspeakable immeasurable agony]] in those they go after, the Dark Eldar are easily the most depraved and vicious race the 41st millennium has. Hated by literally every single faction in the 41st millennium, the Dark Eldar are perhaps the only race with [[Anal circumference|bigger assholes]] than [[Eldrad]], though in spite of this, unlike their sissy counterparts, the Dark Eldar are hated much less by the playerbase - presumably because their army actually takes some brains to use and isn't a giant bunch of status-quo-defending [[Eldar|losers]]. Well, that and its implied they use [[/d/|sexual torture]] along with the normal kind.

In battle, Dark Eldar center around hit-and-run tactics, dealing huge damage and moving fast; few of their units can really take much abuse, making them even more fragile than their less edgy counterparts. Their standard infantry armor is identical to that of a Guardian (not terribly good), their vehicles are predominantly lightly-armored transport and attack craft that can be brought down by anti-infantry gunfire, and the armor on a typical Wych or Grotesque is no tougher than the ramshackle metal plating favored by Orks, but without the whole "I believe this armor will protect me, which is why it does" and at absolute best will cover only nipples and vulva, meaning that it would take considerable skill (and a somewhat sadistic shooter) to bounce a round off of their 'armour'. Suffice to say, they are extremely fragile and metaphorically half-naked in battle (literally if female), and getting the most out of them takes skill and patience that is rarely-seen on [[/tg/]]; whilst most fa/tg/uys will openly mock your average Eldar player, they will give pause and show some respect to a Dark Eldar player worth their salt.

The Dark Eldar are known for the ''excessive'' amount of [[Faptau|fapping]] [[Heresy|material]] involved with them, and they are the subject of thousands of sexual fantasies by desperate masochistic teenagers and middle aged neckbeards incapable of handling [[Female Space Marines|real women]]. They did, after all, kind of rape/drug/kill/etc themselves into oblivion, which tends to lend itself towards certain excessive abuses. They are also known for having some of the most fucking awesome-looking models on the tabletop, even if the armor of half of what they field will suffer instant critical existence failure at the hands of your typical [[Space Marine]]. This is pretty standard for all Xenos though.

==Codex Update==
[[File:Dark_Eldar_Safe.jpg|thumb|right|1998-2010 - twelve years of codex blue balls]]
The Dark Eldar, historically, have long been considered the faction for professionals because the army was perceived as being very difficult to use correctly. Their units, while generally quite fast, were almost uniformly fragile; this meant that the army was very intolerant of mistakes on the tabletop. Consequently they were easily the ''least'' played faction in 40k. Nearly 12 years passed before a codex update - but finally, in 2010, [[Games Workshop|GW]] decided to throw Dark Eldar players a much-needed bone.

Sweet [[Emperor|Jesus]], talk about buffs. The new 5th edition Codex changed very little fluff-wise, but the Dark Eldar gained substantial staying power and could actually field a reasonably <s>tough</s> hard-hitting army. The Power from Pain rule made them tougher as they scored kills, and the army also had a lot of potential for being much more forgiving of mistakes (previously it was a case of either steamrolling foes or getting curb-stomped). Lots of new options and extensive access to poisoned range weapons made them extremely versatile - as well as the bane of Tyranid players everywhere.

The 7th edition Codex was a mixed bag, with some serious nerfs. On the downside: Vect, Sliscus, Malys, Decapitator and Baron are no longer playable, though most of them are still mentioned in the fluff. Flickerfields have disappeared from all vehicles except Venoms, and Wyches somehow got ''even'' worse by losing haywire grenades and their gladiator weapons just becoming variants on re-rolling. On the upside, Power From Pain became something that happened to the whole army with the bonuses stacking each turn, rather than having to make mediocre units kill things in order to become useful. Mandrakes actually became half-decent (though still vastly inferior to Incubi & Trueborn), Grotesques no longer exploded when left alone, Talos & Chronos engines came in squads, and Scourges became able to spam more toys.

As of 8th Edition the Dark Eldar have been renamed the 'Drukhari' for trademark reasons. Like most armies in this edition they have their own equivalent of Chapter Tactics, Toughness on vehicles, and varying movement rates. All of these elements are considerable improvements compared to the previous editions. Dark Eldar armies can also gain extra CP for bringing multiple smaller detachments; combine this with the considerable buffs on wyches and Mandrakes, and you've got an army that has the potential to become more popular than ever before! They are still a "glass cannon" army, but are way more forgiving and benefit from both aggressive and conservative playstyles.

==The Dark Eldar Themselves==
[[Image:1287692229240.jpg|thumb|right|A lot like this, really.]]
{{topquote|I came to bring the pain, hardcore from the brain/Let's go inside my astral plane.|Method Man, Archon of the Wu Tang Kabal}}

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8tvBUfanu0]''''The fall of the eldar to present drukhari''''

The story of the Dark Eldar's fall and their need to inflict pain and horror in order to live - as well as elaboration on their kabalistic practices - have gone a long way towards deepening their fluff considerably (as one noble fa/tg/uy surmised, less retarded Saturday morning cartoon villainy). While some have balked at the more vampiric flavor of the New DE Codex, several denizens of /tg/ have managed to extract comic gold from this. A common musing is that they are ambitious, sex-crazed, easily shot down, boat-and-plane-loving pseudo-aristocrats (although many of the Dark Eldar really are aristocratic) haunted by a dark curse - ergo, they're not vampires, but, in fact, the Kennedys.

Putting it simply, the soul of a Dark Eldar is [[Grimdark|an open wound that can only be salved with suffering, a void that can only be filled with tortured bodies, a thirst that can only be quenched by spilled blood.]] Just like my ex girlfriend!! The origin of this void within the Dark Eldar, and the source of the nigh-religious terror that drives them to commit these daily atrocities, is the knowledge that [[Matt Ward|<s>THEY WILL NEVER BE ULTRAMARINES</s>]] upon death, their soul is forfeit to the Chaos God Slaanesh - an eventuality they intend to stave off at all costs.

Fortunately for the Dark Eldar, provided that someone recovers enough of their remains, their dead body parts can be brought to the Dark Eldar Haemonculi (an ancient order of Dr. Mengeles, the people that educated [[Fabius Bile]] in the art of being a gigantic [[Eldrad|dick]]) and regenerate themselves in case of death, complete with personality and mental faculties intact. This also keeps their soul from being devoured by Slaanesh - but at a price - this regenerative process is fueled by pain just as surely as the Dark Eldar themselves. This is the reason Dark Eldar raids are so eager to get in and get out as fast as possible; [[grimdark|if the subject is dead for more than a day or so, they're beyond recovery]]. (Actually that's a lie the Haemonculi tell their clients so the clients won't risk the truth: any subject can be revived, but the longer it's been dead the more likely the reviving chamber will attract daemons and cause a disjunction/warp storm)

Their diet of anguish has blessed the Dark Eldar with some of the longest lifespans in the setting, only surpassed by godlike figures like the C'tan, Necrons, the [[Emperor|Emprah]], [[Phoenix Lords]] and the Chaos Gods. If they die, they can just respawn back at base once the Haemonculi have managed to torture and/or bosh enough pain out of their subjects to allow the occupants of their rejuvenation pods to regenerate. This system is dependant on the Haemonculi though, and as a result they are the single most crucial group within all of Commorragh. The process gradually has diminishing returns though and truly ancient Dark Eldar will eventually require an ever increasing amount of pain infliction to rejuvenate themselves.

The Dark Eldar have also overcome the traditional [[Gay|Elven birthrate problem]] by finding a fun workaround to the long gestation period of conventional Eldar - they can remove a fertilized ovum and place it in an amniotic tube to age them quickly enough to be useful. This is looked down on by Dark Eldar society however - they even have an elite unit, the Trueborn, that are basically a bunch of spoiled brats who feel entitled to all the good weapons just because they got pushed out of a proper twat (that and the fact that ones born from a tube also get older faster and need to feed on pain more often). The fact that hedonism is the rule in Commorragh probably helps too.

The Dark Eldar have some of the most advanced tech in the 41st millennium, in some cases even surpassing the most powerful weapons of their cousins. Access to weapons that basically fling incandescent dark matter and miniature stars around goes a long way towards giving them serious "I'm going to fuck your shit up" power, and their access to arcane wargear and super-fast vehicles even more so. In fact the only race that comes even close to the technological level and destructive power of the Dark Eldar is the [[Necrons]], whose basic weapon rips the molecules off its target, flaying one layer off at a time (though it's still near-instant). Despite this the majority of the most powerful technology cannot be used by the Dark Eldar anymore as it was psychic in nature, and their psychic abilities have long since atrophied away (truly making them the degenerate Eldar). The little psychic ability that they have left tends to be unimpressive.

All that being said, their continued survival is not as implausible as it might seem at first glance. The Dark Eldar are smart, technologically advanced, quite numerous, and even though they'll fight each other to death over a biscuit in Commorragh, during a raid into Real Space they set aside their differences to [[/tg/ gets shit done|GET SHIT DONE]]. The new codex also points out the Dark Eldar do follow a fairly strict set of rules while fighting each other and running shit; one of the reasons they enjoy raiding realspace is that it allows them to cut loose and just butcher innocents for a while.

It is also worth noting that the closest word Dark Eldar have to the concept of love is something along the lines of willingly submitting one's will to another.

==COMMORRAGH WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS==
[[Image:Dork_Elfdar_Winch.png|thumb|right|My bra is a face. Your argument is invalid.]]
The Dark Eldar live in the Dark City of Commorragh, basically an impossibly large extradimensional port city fueled by two stolen suns (and they made sure to steal suns from inhabited planetary systems, because fuck those guys). Think of a sprawling cross between 17th century Port Royal with Mos Eisley space port (a wretched hive of scum and villainy) with a drug/torture/rape-based economy (Detroit) and the warped architecture of ''Inception''. So watch out, Utica! Commorragh is a city on the... Grow!

Dark Eldar civilisation (if you care to call it such) in Commorragh is mirrored on real life 19th Century Singapore, the Aztecs, depictions of ancient Rome and Greece at their most decadent and depraved plus the city's real-life namesakes the Cammora clans and [[religion|Gomorrah]].

Every Dark Eldar aspires to join a Kabal - an organisation that functions like a mixture of a crime syndicate, a pirate fleet and a classical Italian city state family (i.e the Borgias), the smallest being a couple dozen elves with rifles and the very largest rivalling Craftworlds in military might. Membership in a Kabal brings social security (being in a Kabal basically makes you a made-man so nobody can kill you without reprisal from the rest of the Kabal) and more importantly, the big chance to go out into a realspace raid. Continuing the mafia analogy, Kabals are run by Archons (the godfathers) and his Sybarites (the lieutenants). [[Orks|You advance inside a Kabal by killing the guy above you and then convincing the others over the cooling body of your former superior that you can do a better job.]]

Realspace raids are wrought with risk and success can bring much prestige (and failed raids can cause much losing of political face), so the Dark Eldar have no tolerance for weak and foolish leadership. If you don't fancy the Kabal route, you can try to induct yourself into a Wych Cult (a gladiatorial society) or a Haemonculi Coven (you go to be a bitch-boy assistant for a cackling BDSM lunatic who works in flesh-sculpting). Both are equally valid and valuable components of Dark Eldar society - the Cults provide entertainment and bits of delicious suffering for the masses to savour, and the Covens manage the Dark Eldar's resurrective technologies and torture of slaves. It is not uncommon for larger Cults and Covens to work together with the Kabals on realspace raids, or even conduct their own independent ones.

It goes without saying that Commorragh is extremely dangerous to live in. There are very few laws and violence is an everyday fact of life. However you should abide by a handful:
* First law, [[Heresy|anything relating to psykers or Warp magic in Commorragh is strictly, and I do mean strictly, verboten]]. As that means possibly drawing the attention of [[Slaanesh]] to the Dark City.
* Second law, obey Vect - he is the top dog in Commorragh, so if he says jump, you jump; if he says piss your pants, you piss your pants.
* Third law, obey the Kabals, unless doing so conflicts with the aforementioned "Don't disobey Vect" law.
* Fourth law, don't fuck around with [[Harlequins]]. That's generally good life advice no matter what race or creed you are, but the Dark City still fosters relations with the ''de facto'' leaders of the Aeldari race, so they enjoy diplomatic immunity, if you will.
* Fifth law, don't kill Scourges, unless your name is Asdrubael Vect.

Apart from that, basically anything goes.

Despite common misconception, Commorragh is not purely an Eldar city - various human and alien mercenaries ply their trade in the Null City, and a burgeoning population of Orks have managed to infest the lower levels. Sometimes they become stars in Commorragh's fighting pits. At least they have universal healthcare, though.

[[Story:A cage, shattered|If you can survive the inhabitants of the Dark City]] there is only one problem. Being in the Webway, every now and then the Dark City will suffer something called a Dysjunction; the Webway/Warp equivalent of a natural disaster which is a more powerful combination of earthquake/firestorm/hurricane that can spread across large parts of the Webway and really wreck Commorragh. In addition, it damages the walls of the Webway, which can allow daemons to invade all across Commorragh. Fortunately, this is rare and only happens during huge bouts of Warp-related turmoil, hence why Dark Eldar are so serious about enforcing the ban of sorcery and psychic power usage inside Commorragh. These Dysjunctions, when they do occur, regularly destroy subrealms of Commorragh.

It's only been invaded thrice. First by Orks (that time with daemons, apart from Dysjunctions, they were summoned into Commorragh) and the second was when Vect, plotting a coup against the ruling Archons, arranged for a ship filled with a few hundred Space Marines (in a shocking change from the norm, the [[Salamanders]], for once; [[Matt Ward]] is rumored to have had the vapors from this, though the Salamanders are frequently depicted as having a huge grudge against the Dark Eldar due to Vulkan's origin story) to be towed to the Dark City. Of course, ''most'' of Commorragh's armed forces fought the Space Marines, who managed to escape with ease. The City was also invaded by the [[Death Guard]] at some point.

[[Lucius]], whilst not invading it, did manage to destroy an entire subrealm of Commorragh and kill so many Dark Eldar it was noted as the largest single loss of Eldar life since [[Eye of Terror|the Fall]], and cowed all of Commorragh into a defensive mode, with Vect and the other leaders powerless to do anything to stop Lucius and his single ship.

Apart from invasions, however, Space Marines have made a frequent habit of entering and exiting it, the Salamanders, [[Space Wolves]] and [[Deathwatch]] all having successfully entered the city and exited alive, along with the [[Emperor's Children]], Deathmongers and Death Guard. In fact there are precious few times Space Marines don't enter and exit Commorragh at their own leisure, and Dark Eldar seem particularly bad at containing them.

Not to be outdone, the Black Legion once laid siege to Comorragh to wipe out one of its great houses. Don't steal from [[Iskandar Khayon]], kids.

==The name==
Despite having been plastered on the boxes and rules for the better half of their existence, the term "Dark Eldar" almost never appears in universe - no one really calls them by that name. Dark Eldar call themselves just Eldar, since they think they are the only true Eldar, inheritors of the old Eldar Empire, while all other are defectors from the true Eldar path (of rape, drugs and rock-n-roll); most will admit they have a point, but whether they're outright correct is a debate for another time. Craftworlders call them the Dark Kin, Exodites call them the Children of [[Khaine]], and Corsairs and Harlequins simply call them Commorites. As for other races, most of them don't know and/or care about the differences between Eldar subraces/cultures, at best distinguishing Commorites (and sometimes Corsairs too) by their MO as as pirates or raiders of Eldar, or by their appearance as Spikey Panzees. About the only people who actually use the term "Dark Eldar" in-universe are some of the Ordo Xenos Inquisitors and their acolytes, and even they also often call them Chaos or Tainted Eldar, mistakenly thinking DEldar are Chaos-worshipers.

The modern name "Drukhari"™ doesn't make much more sense from a DE perspective. If we assume the Eldar lexicon to be based on IRL Celtic languages (some Eldar sentences are ''literaly'' Irish/Scottish), then "Drukhari"™ would be related to ''drouk'' (Breton) or ''droch'' (Old Irish), from Gaullish ''drucos'' meaning "evil, bad". Something quite weird given how DE are beyond moral considerations, so it's probably a term coined by other Eldar subcultures. (Droch, Drouk, Drucos / Drukos also can mean 'Wheel', 'Circlet', 'Bridge', 'Wet', 'Drown' and 'To Deceive'. It is entirely possible while it's coined by other subcultures, it could be the inhabitants of Commorragh see themselves as 'Eldar of the Dark City', or other Eldar may name them 'The Eldar that Deceive', both of which may feasibly be 'Drukhari'™) Really, though, its just an alteration of the name for Warhammer Fantasy's Dark Elves, Druchii.

The term 'Eladrith Ynneas' (Ee-lad-rith Yin-nee-ah-ss) was coined in 5th ed by Vect shortly after his meteoric rise to power, and is widely considered to sound much cooler than American comedian Drew-Carey.

==Tactics==
The Dark Eldar put a lot of emphasis on lightning fast piratical raids; their vehicles are lightly armoured, but are the fastest available, allowing them to get in and out as quick as possible. They have a lot of units who prefer getting up close and personal, such as Wyches and Incubi, who put emphasis on causing as much pain as possible whilst still getting home in time for tea. This doesn't mean to say they don't have good ranged weaponry; their splinter rifles fire crystalized poison and their blast weapons fire dark matter, completely annihilating anything in their path. In short, all of their weapons are designed to fuck up everything they touch in the most extravagant and painful way possible. Fear, infiltration and sabotage are their main weapons, and usually their enemies don't know they are fighting the Dark Eldar until it's far too late.

The Dark Eldar themselves despise a fair fight. They will use anything at their disposal, and no tactic is too underhanded, no ploy too despicable. They have no code of honor (save for the Incubi) and will do anything as long as they come out on top, which to them is coming away with as many slaves and stolen raw materials as possible. And when they do get home with their booty, they will open their finest wines, sit on thrones made of dead slaves, kick up their heels on living slaves being used as footrests (or just rape them) and twirl their metaphorical handlebar mustaches. Cue evil laugh.

==Special Characters==
At least the Dark Eldar had playable special characters now, before most of the rules were squatted.

===RIP===
*[[Asdrubael Vect| Asdrubael Vect]], the Pimp Master General of Commorragh who's now a manipulator on par with Eldrad (hardly high praise) and, impossibly, an even bigger dick. A tragic loss, he is much missed; his rules helped your army like crazy and made him the deadliest [[Primarch|non-HH]] [[Swarmlord|infantry-sized]] model in 40k, impossible to re-create without lucky rolls on dice and homebrews. Why Games Workshop saw fit to remove Vect from the latest Codex is a mystery as he had a model (based on the out-of-production plastic raider kit) but given the latest trend of shifting some characters off into the Lord of War section, Vect on the Dais of Destruction would've been a nice fit, especially considering that Santa Claws based monstrosity we were given in the Space Wolves codex.
*[[Lady Malys]], an anime villainess and Vect's pissed-off ex. She won [[Daemon|someone's heart]] in a contest and shoved it in her chest. She was ''okay'' as a character so her passing isn't that big a deal. She was also dropped from the rules but still also features heavily all the way through the new codex as the up and coming rival to Vect, her loss was more inexplicable since she could have easily filled the gap of special character Archon, since Succubus & Haemonculi both have theirs; but she was likely cut because she doesn't have a model and GW couldn't be bothered to give her one.
*Kruellagh the Vile, a name too silly even for [[Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader|Rogue Trader]], being based off of "Hundred and One Dalmatians" villain Cruella de Vil. Also her model made her look like a cheesy DC supervillain.
*Lord Hellion [[Baron Sathonyx]], who many on /tg/ believe to be Spider-Man's archnemesis. Was kinda cool for his FOC-shifting abilities with respects to Hellions.
*[[Kheradruakh]] the Decapitator, who, uh, cuts peoples heads off and collects them like beanie babies. Implied to be collecting them like coconuts to do some serious warp-related shit. Was also never used because [[Counts as|Mandrakes sucked]]. He recently played a major role in the Gathering Storm, saving all of Commorragh from a massive Dysjunction.
*[[Duke Sliscus]], the Pirate Duke who drinks poisons, has all the best drugs, and brings all the bitches to the yard with his gigantic [[Eldrad|cock]]. Almost as insufferable as [[Assholetep]]. Much missed because his contraband rule stopped you from rolling terrible combat drugs, and now this is gone. The rest of his rules weren't particularly special though, so you can still have him using the Archon rules.

===Survivors===
*[[Urien Rakarth]], a hyper-evolved Pavi Largo. Quite possibly the sickest fuck in the galaxy (at the very least a strong contender), and that is really an achievement of unimaginable proportions.
*[[Drazhar]], the Master of Blades, who does not speak and slashes other Incubi to bits from time to time just to throw his weight around. Nobody knows his real name as he just appeared one day out of nowhere, never removes his armor, and probably kills anyone who tries to touch the goods. Many people believe Drazhar is Arhra, An additional piece of <strike>bait</strike> evidence is that his warsuit is much more ancient than any other one available to the incubi cults and pretty much out of their understanding, leading some to think it's -the- original warsuit. Considering Ahra disappeared after getting buttfucked by his successor and disappeared some time before Drazhar showed up, and you can pretty much piece the evidence of the <strike>mystery</strike> thinly veiled "but what if it's not trueeeeeeeee" tactic together.
*[[Lelith Hesperax]], an oversexed gladiatrix/snuff-film porn starlet (srsly, so much implied masturbation in her profile, it's not even funny). Jumped ship to the [[Ynnari]] faction for personal goals.

== Dating a Dark Eldar ==
{| border=2 cellspacing=2 cellpadding=2
|-
! Likes !! Dislikes
|- valign=top
|
* "Playthings"
* Flesh
* Latex
* Leather
* Whips
* Spikes
* Cock and ball torture
* Hardcore, ballbusting Sex
* Drugs
* [[Ork#Rokkas|Rock'n'Roll]]
* S/M
* Holes
* [[Truly_Immovable_Rod|Rods]]
* [[/d/|Other odd fetishes]]
|
* Sunshine
* Lollipops
* Rainbows
* Flowers
* Puppies(that (s)he doesn't get to flay)
* John Denver(same deal)
* Sobriety
* Handholding (unless one of them has been involuntarily detached)
* "Vanilla" sex
* Erectile Dysfunction
* Prudishness
* R&B music
* Weak constitutions
* self-denial
|}

==See Also==
*[[Dark Eldar Kabal Creation Tables]]
*[[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Dark_Eldar (9E)|Tactics on how to play them.]]
*[[The Enshrouded]]

{{Dark Eldar-Characters}}
{{Dark Eldar-Forces}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Dark eldar.jpg|
Image:Commorragh Runner.jpg
Image:40kshock.jpg
Image:Commorragh.jpg|What is up?
File:Blackholeinabox.jpg#file.png|Oh, that wacky Vect.
File:Duke_uses_poison.jpg#file.png|Kill like a DEldar, DEldar.
Image:Dark_Eldar_Combat_Drugs_-_Not_Even_Once_2.png| Combat drugs: Not even once.
Image:Advice_Darkeldar.jpg.jpg|No, no, you got it right the first time.
Image:Wrack by moonskinned-d5tx8oj.jpg|He's only a gimp but he's not that funny.
Image:LynnminwenCD.jpg|Buying this CD is [[Heresy]]! <s>Download it from torrent. </s> {{BLAM|HERESY!}}{{BLAM}}
File:1381591104255.jpg|Lelith Hesperax, right after killing someone and cleaning off the blood.
File:Wych Cat.jpg|Kitty Wych is sexy.
Image:Dark_Eldar.png|...but at least you can't call them quitters! Keep fucking that chicken!
Image:Idealized.jpg|Fucking [[My Little Pony|Pony]] nonsense... Fucking with... Sense of... What were we talking about?
File:Warhammer 40k sisters of battle adeptas sororitas battling Dark Eldar.jpg|If an army of evil space-dominatrices squared off against an army of semi-heroic space nuns, who would win? We don't care its HAWT.. SOON AVAILABLE TO PLAY WITH THE NEW "PIETY AND PAIN" BOX.
File:Wych_Battle.jpg|Some armies clad their dedicated combat units in armor that covers more than areolas and genitals. Some armies are for ''pussies''.
Image:Talos pain engine by moonskinned-d5tx8v6.jpg| "Well, look. I mean, is he gonna be able to chase us? Cause if I woke up lookin' like that, I would just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it."
Image:Inception.jpg|Your daily commute in Commorragh, except everyone's an [[Dwarf Fortress|elf-rapist]], the pistols shoot poison that can kill robots, and the chicks are soul-sucking crack whore gladiators.
Image:Bell_cel_warhammer_sketch_by_elvishprincess25-db0et80.jpg| As I understand it, this is an interesting idea for a crossover...
Image:Dark Eldar DC.png|The crossover you never knew you needed, [[Tau Diplomacy|now throw in the Tau Diplomat who sounds like Starfire]].
Santa Lelith Hesperax 1.jpg|Maybe she'll give you a kiss under the mistletoe, maybe something more, or maybe she'll kill you. Personally, I think it's worth the risk.
Image:Deldar wracks.jpg
</gallery></center>

{{WH40k-Factions}}
{{Template:Important Species in 40k}}
[[Category:Xenos]]

Slavery

2021-08-28T07:24:40Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:44C1:DB3B:C5E6:7800: /* Slavery in Warhammer */

{{sick}}
[[image:Slaves sugar cane.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Slaves harvesting sugar cane, not a lot fun for them. It is really good in tea, though.]]
{{Topquote|I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves.|Jack Handey, ''What I'd Say to the Martians''}}

'''Slavery''' is the institution of owning other humans ([[Hard Science Fiction|as well as other sapient]] [[Soft Science Fiction|beings by extrapolation]]) as property. As slaves are bound to their owners, they were prevented from leaving or refusing to work under threat of immediate violence for disobedience. When two groups would fight, it was not uncommon for the victor to capture some of the defeated along with the goods or territory and put them to work. Later on, as long-distance trade improved, they also began selling said captives to other cultures. The children of slaves usually were slaves themselves, though this was not universal.

In other cases, people would be put into slavery as a punishment, e.g. for failure to pay their debts, or voluntarily such as an alternative to paying for something. Some systems of slavery even offered opportunities for, like the Devshirmeh system in Ottoman Empire, where boys taken from among Christian vassals who were bright enough could actually end up as Grand Vizier of the Empire (with a few caveats; they had to be smart and all of them had to be converted to Islam willingly or not... either way they weren't allowed to stay Christian).

In addition to the practice of owning human beings as chattel, there are other contemporary and historical arrangements so similar to slavery that they are referred to as slavery informally or at that point in history. A few of these include serfdom ([[Peasant|serfs]] were not owned, but they were bound to the land owned by [[noble]]s and are required to work the noble's land 2-3 days per week for free and keep what else they could grow-keep-trade), indentured servitude in colonial America (in exchange for passage to the new world being paid, criminal fines or to discharge a debt, someone would be indentured to a contract holder and have to work off their debt over a number of years such as British criminals and Irish people too poor to pay for the trip), impressment and shanghaiing (where people were kidnapped from ports or ships and forced to serve as sailors with said debt not being hereditary), the various forced labor programs used by the [[Nazi|Nazis]] and other despotic regimes and the victims of human trafficking which is still ongoing today.

Presently it's generally acknowledged that humans cannot be considered ''real assets'', although there remain locations where this is not an absolute, and only the most extreme activists consider this to be a universal right that should be extended to other organisms. And there are very few countries that have addressed the more tricky issues of conscription, prison labor, and non-dischargeable debt.

Economically slavery is... tricky. At the first glance it looks like free labour, meaning easy way of getting rich without paying your workers. But slavery have lots of hidden expenses, most notably on security and overseeing work, making it not nearly as free as it looks. Furthermore, most slaves are unfit for any sophisticated work, being way worse motivated in the result of their labour than hired workers. That's not to say you can't have slave engineers, teachers or other high-intelligence jobs, but historically it only worked by giving said highly skilled slaves so much freedom and privilege they end up more like contracted workers with no way of getting out of the contracts, and not much (if any) cheaper than free people doing the same job, so the only upside is that they don't run away from you and tell your secrets to your enemies. For this reason in most cultures for the overwhelming length of history slaves were a luxury, not really a means of creating wealth, unless you happen to have highly profitable industry with very low skill requirement, like strip mining in antiquity (deep mining required way more skill), cotton farming in new age or textile sweatshops in modern times. Even then it have another hidden detriment: slaves don't consume as much as free people, so they put a giant handbrake on the economy, hampering the circulation of the capital and generally making everyone, including even slave owners, poorer compared to the same economy running on hired labour instead of slavery. In short, slavery excells at making nobles or their equivalents in society richer than plebs, but not at making them richer than "nobles" of other societies that don't run on slavery. One of the reasons modern slavery only survived in 3-d world countries is that they're 3-d world partly because they still use slavery.

== History stuff ==
{{skubby}}
The oldest surviving codex of laws yet discovered in the world, the "Code of Ur-Nammu" dating back to at least 2050 BC, has multiple references to slaves, so slavery has been with humanity for a ''very'' long time. Slavery was practiced in virtually every culture at some point throughout their history; as soon as a people progressed from a hunter-gathering and nomadic culture to an agrarian one it became more convenient to look for ways to increase productivity and lower expenses. Before the advent of modern machinery, that way was some flavor of slave workforce since you generally had to spend less resources on a slave than you would on your fellow clan member.

In the ancient world, basically all civilizations made use of slavery to some degree or another. Prisoners of war were taken as slaves and made to ply their trade for their conquerors, or were sold abroad for goods. Since civilizations would wax and wane from time to time, the enslavers of one generation might end up enslaved in the next. The Ancient Egyptians made use of slaves in various ways though even there there was something of a hierarchy among slaves, although contrary to popular beliefs pyramids weren't built by slaves but by free people (paid in fresh crops grown on the most fertile and irrigated lands in Egypt owned directly by king and worked by king's personal slaves as well as good amounts of meat). The Greeks made heavier-than-usual use of slaves, and the Romans even more so. The Persians did not use slavery themselves and tried to limit it, but slavery did exist in their Empire among their conquered vassals. Slaves worked in every field from miners (who were quickly worked to death) to farmers, to factory workers and skilled craftsmen. Other examples range from the [[Grimdark]] examples of sex slaves or fodder for human sacrifice (the latter being something the Aztecs were notorious for), to non dark examples such as entertainers, teachers and doctors (particularly Greeks who could buy their freedom in a year, or even less if skilled) and even up to high ranking government officials in the Empire. Ancient Romans used to grumble about all these slaves coming in stealing people's jobs (this sentence is not a joke).

Slavery existed in [[Medieval Stasis|Medieval Europe]], but declined after the year 1,000 AD in a lot of places, especially the north. The Domesday Book (a census carried out by William the Conqueror in 1086) stipulated that about 10% of the population of England was slaves. The Vikings practiced slavery, acquiring them primarily on expeditions or raids in Eastern Europe and the British Isles. They could also obtain Viking slaves at home, as crimes like murder and thievery were punished with slavery or through doing business with the Arab Slave Trade. The basis for the modern English word slave gets its roots here, as the Slavic races were so often put upon that [[Grimdark|the ordeal was named after them]], also providing the first example of race-based slavery. When Arabs, and later the Europeans, discovered the continent of Africa, there was much contact between local tribes and foreigners on this subject. Many nations would take slaves from the peoples of Africa abetted at times by local slavery systems among African people themselves (see below). [[Grimdark|In Brazil and most of the Caribbean between 1600 and 1800, the slave population never was able to achieve natural replacement rates due to a high death rate from overwork and abuse by their masters]]. The American system of slavery (aka "the peculiar institution") would arguably require an entire article of its own, but since we'd rather not try to poke that hornet's nest, suffice to say it was little different from the Caribbean experience and was only abolished by President Abraham Lincoln after the American Civil War (and was one of the reasons Lincoln was assassinated).

During this aforementioned time, the idea of racial slavery was raised. In the Classical World (for example, Ancient Rome), slaves were basically from everywhere in the Empire and many places beyond and the children of freed slaves (Libertus) in Rome became more Romans, and Rome being Rome, they even had the manumission (freeing) a religious/bureaucratic ritual onto itself. While if Slavic people are considered a race, they were the first case of racial slavery due to being popular choices of slaves. Ideas raised in attempts to justify the idea arose between the Arab Slave Trade and the Atlantic Slave Trade. Slavery is not a nice thing even at the best of times, but racial slavery adds to it the conception that an enslaved race is inferior, doomed to servitude forever, and that people from it are unfit for anything else. Those caught up in it had little hope of ever elevating themselves from a state of being a form of livestock with the hands for manual labor. Slave ships sailed from Europe to Africa loaded with manufactured goods, textiles and weapons which they traded for prisoners of war, criminals and existing slaves. They were packed in like sardines to be shipped to the new world, collecting sugar, rum, coffee and other goods produced by slave labor to sell them in the mother countries.

Africa has had slavery between its various tribes and kingdoms for millennia, even to the present day. Between this and many foreign civilizations making extensive use of African slaves, the history of slavery in Africa is complicated and violent. In Africa, even prior to the Arab slave trade or the Atlantic/European slave trade, slavery happened in all forms from ancient times. This was enacted between many of the various tribes and nations of Africa; however, in many African societies where slavery was prevalent, the enslaved people were not treated as chattel slaves and had certain rights in a system similar to indentured servitude elsewhere in the world. When the Arab slave trade - and centuries later, the Atlantic slave trade - began, many of the local slave systems began supplying captives for slave markets outside Africa. They also supplied local criminals and captives from rival tribes or nations to the Arab, European or American slave trades. This means African slave traders unwittingly helped fan the flames of the issue of racial slavery, unaware of the dehumanization these buyers would subject them to - and that's before the Scramble for Africa caused many of them to become slaves themselves.

In the Ottoman Empire, whose system can ''arguably'' be seen as similar to the Eastern Roman Empire, the system was more or less the same, but with a small possibility of moving up if you were a Christian (or claiming to be one) because Christians (and Jews) are considered "people of the Book", meaning the worthiest of non-Muslim people according to Islam. It had three sources of slaves: The first was Africa, with the usual [[Grimdark]] fate for blacks brought by the thousands, many castrated and dying during transport, females ending up as house slaves and non-castrated males working agriculture in Egypt and Anatolia as ''fellahin''. The second was the slave-port of Caffa, the most underreported and forgotten white slavery port which took ''millions'' of white slaves from Ukraine, males killed and women sold as sex slaves([[SJW|you don't get to hear much about it because they are not black]]). ''Devshirmeh'' is the name for the system of taking one boy out of 40 houses from the population of Christian vassals in the Ottoman Empire; this mostly meant Balkan Christians, with the inclusion of Bosniak Muslims while Armenians, Romani and Jews were explicitly excluded. The taken boys were converted to Islam one way or another, then made into elite monastic troops called Janissaries (new soldiers). If they proved intelligent, they were sent to the Imperial Academy in Enderun to become bureaucrats. Being slaves, they had no ''habeas corpus'' and could be executed at any time - in theory. In practice, while the threat hanging over their heads was very real, they could also push back against this by working their way into military ranks, marrying Ottoman princesses, engineering palace coups to kill off sultans who didn't pay them enough, or even investing back in their native countries such as Bosnia (the reason Bosniaks mourned the fall of the Janissary institution while EVERYONE ELSE celebrated it). The dangers of the ''devshirmeh'' system didn't stop some families from actively sending their kids there in desperation, often to the point of bribing the Janissary Aghas.

Female slaves in the Ottoman Empire didn't get as many opportunities, with the "best" option allowed to them being to end up as palace concubines. But this contained more backstabbing than a Tzeentchian party, and few died peacefully. Ironically, many concubines who ended up marrying Viziers or military officers ended up in better positions than concubines who were gunning for the top spot. With the advent of nationalism, the French Revolution, Russia conquering Ukraine and destroying the Muslim-Tatar slavery business ([[Alignment#Lawful_Evil|If only to preserve their white serf population]]) and the growing need for military reforms bitterly opposed by the Janissaries, the system's flaws burst like rotting cysts, and Ottoman-style slavery went the way of the Dodo in 1847 thanks to [[Noblebright|Abdulmajid's reforms]]. The harem was numerous enough by then, and the freed whites went on with their lives while the black population [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afro-Turks settled in Western Turkey as free farmers]. Slavery didn't ''completely'' end until [[Sebastian Thor|Atatürk]] did the [[Noblebright|final house-cleaning]] around the 1930's.

Eurasia, particularly Ukraine, was the hotbed of slavery for the Ottoman Empire, with the port city of Caffa being the continent's major slave ports. The Russians liberated it from the Crimean Khanate, whose major income was thousands of taken women and children from villages, supplying the Ottoman Empire's need for European/white women. Evliya Çelebi even wrote about the despair and cries of women separated from their children and then sold separately.

But the problem was particularly acute in Russia. Tzar Alexander II officially ended serfdom in Russia via two edicts in 1861 and 1866, liberating roughly 33 million people (23 million private serfs and at least 9 million state serfs) from obligations. But this was achieved by simply taxing all of them and paying the tax to their former lords. While this tax was intended to expire, ultimately the hardship this caused combined the Great War and other factors would lead to the abdication of the Tzar and the Russian Revolution.

In contrast to the above, slavery is virtually never mentioned in [[Oriental Adventures|east Asian-inspired]] settings. This has some basis in history in certain areas: The [[Mongols]]' nomadic lifestyle was not conductive to widespread slavery, though they did take some captives as slaves ([[Genghis motherfucking Khan|Genghis Khan]] himself was briefly a slave in his youth), and during the Mongol Empire's runs on conquering China people were often little better than slaves anyway. The Chinese themselves went through several periods of loosening and then making stricter laws surrounding slavery, usually rallying around who was in charge following their frequent wars to unify, only to break apart once more. The question of working conditions in China and comparisons to slavery along with "prison camps" came up during and after Mao Zedong's rise to power, but rather than poke that hornet's nest suffice to say these stories have more than a grain of truth to them (there's a reason for the stereotype of the Chinese sweatshop worker). The inhabitants of the Ryukyu islands "would die over" slavery rather than participate. Slavery in Asia was probably most prolific on the Korean peninsula, who had a caste system, but population growth, a few slave revolts and modernization eventually rendered it less than palatable.

The earliest European reports of [[Japan]] mention that, though it existed there, slavery was rare and primarily inflicted on debtors and prisoners of war. The main recorded examples are the maids/concubines of the rich, and those brought by Europeans themselves. One European held slave's physical stature impressed Oda Nobunaga so much that he purchased him, freed him and elevated him to samurai status (making him potentially the first and only non japanese Samuraï). This man would be known as Yasuke, [[Anime|the only black samurai]]. During the Sengoku a not-insignificant of Japanese prisoners of war were sold to the Europeans for foreign trade until 1587/1595, when Toyotomi Hideyoshi banned it. HOWEVER... the Japanese were one of the last countries to give up serfdom; the feudal land system disappeared along with the Samurai who oversaw it during the Meiji Restoration.

==Slavery in Fantasy==
Because slavery is viewed as such a moral repugnance throughout the modern world, it is an easy way for lazy [[GM]]s to get a reaction from players. Slavery being one of the common features of a setting's bad guys makes for an easy way to establish that civilization or organization is [[Alignment|evil]]. A bunch of armed guys attack a peaceful village with chains and whips to catch its residents, bind them, and take them to their dwelling, where they're treated worse than how we treat livestock and forced to: toil, be beaten, probably raped, and made to fight to the death in arenas for the amusement and benefit of some sick bastards? That is more than enough reason to establish "these guys are bad, go [[murderhobo|kill their asses]]" regardless of alignment; even Evil characters can simply indulge their drive to kill by offing slavers, and exploit the freed villagers and their families for more favors - particularly Lawful Evil ones.

However, this is not always the case; both the perceived "good" and "bad" factions can also engage in slavery, although how they do it usually defines who's good and who's bad (regardless of how minute the difference is). Take [[Araby]] and the [[Dark Elves]] in the ''[[Warhammer Fantasy Battles|Warhammer Fantasy]]'' setting, for example. Both factions engage in wanton slavery and have no qualms about it being a common thing everywhere. However, what sort of defines each of them is how they see their slaves. In Araby, slaves have several rights, the children of slaves are guaranteed by law to not be slaves, and particularly cruel mistreatment of slaves will result in punishment to the masters and the mistreated becoming free. The Dark Elves consider all non-Dark Elves to be beneath them and will torture and maim their slaves, just because they think it is fun.

Though it is found in both, slavery is more common in fantasy settings than in science fiction. In your typical Tolkien knockoff, the way you go about digging rocks, harvesting lumber, tilling fields and raising buildings is normally with strong backs. In most sci-fi worlds, why have a bunch of slaves working in an irradiated asteroid space mine when you could have a bunch of robots who don't need slave drivers, don't require food or air, won't plot escape/rebellion ([[Men of Iron|'''hopefully''']]), and are stronger and easier to repair if damaged?

Slavery of a [[/d/|certain kind]] is a common feature of many [[Magical Realm]]s.

===Slavery in [[Warhammer]]===

Since we are a bunch of [[Warhammer]] nerds, here's some examples<ref>Besides the pair that allows us to explain that there's a sliding scale of evilness associated with slave-holding societies</ref> from those two/three settings, because we can't restrain ourselves:

[[Tomb Kings|Ancient Nehekharan's]] society mostly have their labor powered by slaves that were either prisoners of war or captured from oversea raid (like their Egypt counterpart). Most slaves would overworked themselves and die under the whips of architects (or soon to be necrotect) while building a pyramid (Settra's pyramid only took 20 years and cost over 2000 slaves). This does not mean Nehekharan are mostly cruel tyrants, for few kind or wise rulers would grant boon to talented slaves by giving them a place in their hierarchy, allowing some of them to even become a vizier (second most powerful man in a great city besides a priest king). Females would be used as a servant instead for labor just because they are good looking.

Then there's [[Nagash]]. HE believed everyone but him are either slaves, spell food or enemies to kill and make into undead slaves. Even talented generals and his nine noble lieutenants were just considered the most useful slaves, only being treated better because he understood positive reinforcement was the best approach with them. Necromancy was his idea for free labor; to build the Black Pyramid, Nagash was merciless even by Nehekharan standards, to the point of telling living slaves to make tools from the bones of their dead co-workers to meet his design. Anyone who died in Nagash's service would be made undead to continue working or punishment, best case scenario they'd get a promotion or power boost if they weren't mindless.

Skaven mainly enslave their own kind - Skavenslaves, the bottom rung of their society. There's always a surplus of Skaven ratlings, so most of those end up as slaves. Their lives are often filthy, painful and short; they're underfed, fight for what little food they have and cannibalism is often required to not starve. They get the most dangerous and thankless jobs, including test subjects for experiments or raw material for Clan Moulder's fleshcrafting. Their most famous role is expendable fodder for Skaven Warlords to pin down or exhaust the enemy (the same could be said about Clanrats, but they have actual combat training and also get armor - albeit poor quality armor). Skaven do take slaves from other races, though they end up as food, material for fleshcrafting or spell ingredients. Those enslaved by the Skaven for any length of time often go insane and even act like a Skaven. Rumors claim that at some point they actually mutate into Skaven.

''[[Warhammer 40,000]]'' actually justifies having slaves fairly well in that, in the [[Imperium]], such automation is considered techno-[[heresy]] (or simply decayed like spaceship artillery loaders) due to a robot rebellion happening in the past and the risk of Chaos corruption for the machines. In order to access free labors without the fear from Abominable Intelligence, they created [[Servitors]], cyborgs made out of human criminals or vat clones. Then again, every humans in the Imperium is indebted to the Emperor at birth and thus [[count as]] his currency to be spent [[Imperial Guard|on wars]] and [[Administratum|labors]]. Basically modern slavery but with more fanaticism, cloning and cybernetics. [[Imperial Worlds#Feudal_Worlds|Feudal Worlds]] and [[Hive World]] exists to shit out billions of humans every single day.

The [[Dark Eldar]] are sick bastards who need to consume souls of psychically susceptible species (human youngsters are prime specimens, while Tau souls taste bland and weak) and get their rocks off at making others miserable.

And the [[Orks]]... well, the Orks simply believe might makes right is an axiom '''(A WOT?!)'''. It's the natural order that the big and tough can and ought push around the small and puny. There's no universal right, only the power you possess. Ork fluff is dodgy as far as slaves from other species are concerned, but Grots and especially Snotlings fill the role of slaves for manual labour and occasional plaything (not ''that'' kind of plaything).

==A Digression About the Economics of Slavery==
For serious worldbuilders who have it, you need to consider what economics already considers a long-standing question: Is slavery profitable in the long term, and if so where?

The consensus answer among economic historians to the first one is that yes, slavery can be profitable, but only in those situations where technology does not offer a faster/cheaper/safer solution. Indeed, most ancient Empires (Egyptian, Greek, Roman) had some form of institutionalized slavery that allowed them to endure. This being said, the very concept of slavery has some serious downsides (that have nothing to do with morality) dooming it in the long run. The short answer to the "where" question is "cash crops and other agriculture, unskilled labor, and a bit of mining", in roughly that order of profitability.

The practical downsides that doom slavery include, but are not limited to:

*First of all, in any area where sabotage is a serious concern slavery is usually a non-starter. For a recent example, look at the [[Nazi]]s using forced labor to build their weapons later in the war, and the quality of said weapons, with Russian POWs and Communist and Social Democrat political prisoners being the most profilic for small-scale sabotage (like leaving out a bolt here and there or not quite soldering something right). Turns out a learned clockmaker isn't the best at toiling the fields. That rules out most semi-modern mining, as well as just about any industry with any degree of mechanization and a surprising amount of agriculture.
** Despite mining being the stereotypical use of slaves in fiction, mining past a certain depth is sufficiently deadly and expensive that semi-skilled labor is '''absolutely required''', and a slave has a nice way to commit suicide AND hurt his master's profits at the same time. While ''other'' exploitative practices may be used, the training required means actual slavery-based mining is very much a no-go save for tasks such as the very basic work of breaking surface mineral seams, as well as open-pit mining, where "getting stuck" is not an issue and carrying loads to processing stations a la South American silver mining done by Spanish or simple stone quarries where all one needs doing is to hit a stone with a pick and carry the resulting ore chunks to the storage.
** The same goes for large-scale infrastructure projects like those undertaken during the Great Terror under Stalin in the Soviet Union. Nearly all of these projects that heavily relied on forced labour fell apart very quickly once they were put to use, often with disastrous consequences. The sinister thing about this is that, because the Soviet system was supposedly infallible, every accident of this kind was attributed to "Sabotage", leading to another round of arrests and purges, endlessly propelling forward a cycle of mass arrests, deportations, accidents and so forth. Krushchev ended the Gulag system mainly because the shoddy work the Gulag produced wasn't sustainable in the long run (and also to distance himself from Stalin) when the USSR was to look eye to eye with the United States.
*Second, unless reproduction is heavily encouraged (and ties down the female slaves to light labor), slave populations have a tendency to drop over time, especially compared to relatively free populations (even ignoring manumission, buying freedom in better societies and escapes), and five seconds of thought on slaves' living conditions should lead to a few obvious conclusions as to why. So if you want to keep up, you need to constantly raid (or trade with raiders) for more slaves. Last time this was done beyond the 16th century, the United States wrecked the entire Barbary coast with artillery and freed slaves. So any "sustainable" raiding *will* attract military threats that will make sure any slave taken will eventually be more expensive than a free worker who is A) already available and willing, B) lives within the empire and C) has many motivations, such as family, welfare and [[Tzeentch|hopes for a good future]]).
*Third, slave-holding societies are usually economically out-competed by non-slave-holding societies once military considerations are either removed or temporarily equalized. There are plenty of reasons for this, but the big ones are the twin spectres of Incentives (which align more closely in non-slave societies) and Efficiency (effort you expend on keeping slaves from escaping or rebelling could usually be more productively used elsewhere, and that's just to ''start'', saying nothing of potentially intelligent slaves wasted in labor they are not optimal for rather than being educated and made into scientists).
*Fourth, if slaves are owned in large numbers they start to displace the local non-slaves. This is not a simple case of [[Meme|"DEY TOOK AHR JERBS"]], as the Romans can attest: when large numbers of slaves started to displace local farmers who were forced to sell their land for some reason or the other, said ex-farmers were driven to the cities, where there were not a lot of jobs either. This bred poverty, and from poverty rose a class dissatisfied with their lot in life as they starve while the rich grow fat. And from this rose political and civilian unrest, which is never good for any state. In the case of the Romans, this gave birth to a populist dictator, Julius Caesar and his adoptive son Octavian, which created a major precedent for all modern dictatorships and bread-and-circuses states.
*Lastly, having a large slave population essentially constituted a permanent fifth column presence. Every empire that employed slavery was compelled to maintain a large armed presence in its home territory to suppress revolts. This tended to limit the size that a state could grow to territorially, with only a few superpowers managing to consolidate enough territory with reliable regional governors to sustain a permanent campaigning military while retaining enough force at home to prevent rebellion. Serfdom policed by religion was more effective at maintaining civil order, with serfs tending to rebel only in the case of famine and excessive taxation.

Slavery in worldbuilding is not confined strictly to historical settings; it is also a valid consideration in near future science fiction. The time and cost of moving individuals to other bodies in the solar system by conventional means, combined with the work to be done and the scarcity of hands will mean that people on such ventures will NOT have the luxury to quit. Space colonization under these circumstances will inevitably require a return to the ancient naval tradition that a captain at sea must be an absolute despot for the good of all aboard; "keeping ''everyone'' alive" and "avoiding ''everyone'' dying" are not synonymous, and many hazards of space make the distinction very important. Activity in space today is achieved as a pseudo-military expedition with carefully selected teams trained to cooperate, but larger scale operations WILL necessitate an organization divide between labor and operations and that will result in social friction. In some settings, colonization is achieved by using convicted prisoners as labor to sidestep the moral questions of compulsory work and sacrificing some to save all.

[[Category:History]]

Vikings

2021-08-28T06:27:53Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:44C1:DB3B:C5E6:7800: /* Culture */

{{Topquote|It was not as if we'd stayed home and wasted our lives drinking wine with pretty girls.|A recurring motif in the Lay of Kraka}}
[[Image:VikingShip.jpg|500px|thumb|right|A Viking Longship, A thirty meter long can o' [[rape]] (literally) back in the day.]]
'''Vikings''' were Scandinavian people from the 8th to 11th century, a period in which societies based in Denmark, Norway and Sweden, making use of their long-ships set forth to trade and colonize areas including Northern France, the British Isles, Russia, Iceland, Greenland and even reached North America (though the settlements they set up there did not last). They also made a habit of bathing and washing their hands frequently, which at the time was unheard of among the peoples of Europe. Probably because they had to have about two dozen dudes on a small boat for a long time, so you would regularly bathe if you didn't want to be [[That Guy]]. They only stopped when France, of all countries, rolled a nat 20 on Diplomacy by offering Normandy (deriving its name from the French word for Vikings, meaning Northmen), the northern part of France to duke Rollo. One of his descendents by the name of William (the Conqueror) ended up with a claim to the throne of a place populated with Anglo-Saxons named Anglo-land (later known as England), and ultimately became its king. So in other words, in an attempt to stop Viking raids, France ended up creating what became their arch-enemy for 800 years, making it one of the biggest cases of [[not as planned]] in history.

[[file:Movie_game_viking_vs_historical_viking.png|400px|thumb|right|Only equalled by the [[Ninja]] in this regard]]
Unlike popular belief, they did not wear horned helmets. This is for the practical reason that a big horned helmet might catch a sword unintentionally, which is all sorts of bad for the wearer; horned helmets were used on occasion, but only for ceremony. The ol' "horn-headed people eater" image was popularized during the 1800s. In general actually, historical Vikings don't have much in common with their pop-culture image aside from longships and fondness for raiding, as the pop-culture image tends to be that of a barbaric dirty warrior carrying unwieldy weapons and wearing stinky fur and leather clothes when in reality, Vikings appreciated hygiene as mentioned above, groomed their beards and had clean clothes, making them in many ways more civilized than rest of Europe at the time. Their weapons consisted mostly of simple spears, bearded axes and dane axes and of course the trusty round shield. While most Vikings had helmets, few had swords or armor as they were very expensive at the time. The pop-culture image of dirty barbarians derives mostly from the fact that history comes mostly from the writings of the Anglo-Saxons and the French, as in, those who were raided by the Vikings so naturally they didn't have particularly good or unbiased image of them.

As a final note "Viking" is not a noun, but a verb. Proper usage would be something like "Hey Olaf, I'm bored and need some spending money, want to go viking?" (The noun form would be ''víkingr'', a person who goes ''viking''). The people who went Viking were known as Norse.

==Culture==
Vikings believed that when they died in battle (preferably in a totally fuck-awesome way) they would go to a place called Valhalla to become one of the Einherjar (Chosen Slain) or to Fólkvangr (the realm controlled by Freyja, the Nordic goddess of love, prosperity, spring and being foxy as hell; also a death goddess and war goddess, which is why she gets half the chosen warriors in the first place), where they would chug booze, [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|eat all the meat and cheese they wanted]], and (if that actually managed to get dull) participate in massive murderfests only to be fully healed the next day and ready to do it all over again. On the other hand, if they died in bed or in a totally lame way (such as AIDs or cancer or... actually anywhere but battle is lame) they would instead go to a totally boring place called Hel where NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED! '''EVER!''' (As you might imagine, this became problematic for many of their folk heroes who were just that fucking hard to kill). And if ''that'' weren't bad enough, people who committed what the vikings saw as the unforgivable sins, like oathbreaking, went to a prison overseen by the goddess of the dead. The ceiling is made from the bones of serpents, which drip burning venom, the halls are waist-deep in cold, slimy blood, and there is nothing to drink but goats piss and nothing to eat but rotten food (basically a Minnesota Vikings game, but one that never ends and the weather's always bad). The exception is if you died while giving birth, then you got go to Valhalla; the vikings were surprisingly fair for their day in their attitudes towards the sexes.

That said, there was the ''third'' way to die. Dying at sea was totally cool for the Vikings, for while the Battle-junkies went to Valhalla and Freya, and the lame ones went to Hel, the Sea-Bears went to the Halls of Aegir, god of the sea, where they got their own Watery Valhalla.

Vikings aren't known for being peaceful or nice, [https://historycollection.com/16-facts-about-the-brutality-of-viking-life/ there's good reasons Vikings have a reputation for brutality]. Plus during their raiding parties, they would enslave, rape and/or kill the non-Viking people they encountered. Afterwards, the Vikings would [[Blood_Ravens#Bloody_Magpies|steal ''everything'' they could carry.]] If it couldn't be carried, they'd ''burn'' it. If they couldn't burn it they'd ''''SMASH'''' it! And remember, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turgesius they weren't above attacking people or places that couldn't defend themselves].

They continued doing this until they inadvertently stole Christianity and equipped it without reading the effect text, whereupon Viking warlords started to conquer shit rather than rape, pillage and kill everything in their sight. For quite a long time a large chunk of France and Italy, and the entirety of England and Russia were ruled by Vikings or their descendants, although they all got quickly assimilated into the nations they've conquered, to the point when they started to think of themselves as French/Russians in just a two or three generations after settling in. The Vikings also had a level of prestige in the Byzantine Empire, as they were the preferred recruits for the Emperor's bodyguard, the Varangian Guard.

=== [[Mythology#Norse Mythology|Norse Mythology]] ===
Like Greek mythology, the Norse have their own version of creation, different sets of gods, and heroic stories of manly feats. Here are some of them (Note that, much like Celtic mythology, Norse mythology was only written down long after Scandanavia had become Christian, so there remains a massive amount of missing stories [[Skub|assuming they survived unchanged before this]] (for example, while the war between the Vanir and the Aesir is mentioned, we don't actually have the full description of it, even though at one time it probably existed) and even much of what has survived should probably be taken with a grain of salt since whoever wrote it probably didn't hear about it first-hand or wanted to be syncretistic about it to help make it palpable for a Christian audience.

==In Modern Fiction==
Vikings and the honorable Neanderthals are some of the closest that the real world has ever had to [[dwarves]], but they should not be confused as such. While they had a penchant for [[axe]]s and could use anything, [[Dwarf Fortress|including body parts and broken furniture]], as a weapon, Vikings were just unspeakably awesome humans (they couldn't handle as much booze as a dwarf, though only just). Vikings that [[Toothless Dragon|rode Dragons]] even more so. Vikings are not to be confused with [[barbarian]]s either, despite any combination with the former resulting in awesome. [[Warriors of Chaos|Vikings are also notable for pledging themselves to Chaos]] and becoming [[Space Wolves|werewolf supersoldiers]].

The Vikings have also finally gotten their own TV show starring Vladimir Kullich. It is about the saga of Ragnar Lothbrok and his sons; Bjorn Ironside, Ivar the Boneless, Sigurd Snake-eye, Halfdan, Hvitserk, and Ubbe, as well as the tales of Duke Rollo of Normandy, King Harald Fairhair, and Alfred the Great of Wessex. On a side note, most stories and documentaries about real-life Vikings demonize either the Norse or the Saxons at the very least (the aforementioned TV show zig-zags between them); which side gets demonized '''will''' depend on how the writers feel about the Saxons or Christianity.

==Viking Longships==

The thing that put the Vikings on the map were their Longships (or LongBOAT if you're not [[skub|American]]). Basically these were large canoes made from planks with a mast to catch the wind. They could, however handle rough northern seas very well, and allowed some Vikings to reach such exotic locales as Newfoundland centuries before other Europeans. One thing that helped made the Longships such a gamechanger was that the vikings worked out that properly curing and drying out timbers it made it stronger and more resistant to being eaten at sea by nematodes and similar grody things. Another thing is that the ship didn't go much under water, which allowed it to be used in almost any river. This led to things such as a fleet of 120 ships and 5000 men suddenly appearing in the middle of Paris in 845. It was also possible to bring the mast down for increased aerodynamics and decreased risk of detection when the ship was moved by rowing.

Sometimes to save travel time, the Vikings would pull their Longships overland for kilometers. No joking, no hyperbole. A few tricks (like log rollers) helped, though. One of them (Oleg, the prince of Kievan Russ) even mounted his longships on wheels to quickly move them into Constantinople harbor, bypassing the defensive chain pulled across the path (which possibly inspired the Ottoman sultan Mehmed II when he used a similar trick to help him capture Constantinople).

Their Longships also had an [[derp|early warning system]] so that people could tell wether they were going to fuck them up or not. It's to do with the shields:
If the Shields were on the outside of their Longships, then they were coming to trade goods.
If the Shields were not on the outside of their Longships, then they were going to use them in battle, and you should run for the hills (if you get that far...)

==Viking Berserkers==
There's lot of bullshit about these guys on the internet and in general beliefs. Hell, the word itself had became the synonym of uncontrollable rage in many languages. The truth, however, is quite boring - berserkers (which comes from the Old Norse for "bear hide", as it was their signature piece of clothes they wore above armor, or sometimes instead of it) were equivalents of champions in the Norse culture with a pitch of warrior-priest flavor added - i.e. the guys who fought in duels on behalf of the tribe or some wealthy noble. And Norse culture had a fuckton of things settled with duels. As best of the best professional warriors among already brutally strong vikings they kicked all kinds of asses, and were rightfully feared for their skill and bravery. As you may guess, they where quite rare, so no "hordes" or even "squads" of berserkers for you - at best you'd have two or three per raid, and most often only one. As for uncontrollable rage... well, sagas mention a total of ZERO berserkers going into what we now call "[[Khorne|berserker]] rage" - there are mentions of jarls and ordinary warriors going to battle biting shields, foaming with mad anger and killing friend and foe alike, but never berserkers. WRONG:

{{topquote|-And as the foemen's ships drew near, The dreadful din you well might hear Savage berserks roaring mad, And champions fierce in wolf-skins clad, Howling like wolves; and clanking jar.|Harald Fairhair Saga ch 19.}}
Mushroom brew painkiller that allow to fight despite heavy or even fatal wounds likewise weren't their exclusive, although proper brew (that wouldn't ruin your liver, therefore sentencing you to a lame death in your bed if you survive the battle) was quite expensive, and berserkers, as pretty much second-in-command of jarls were among those wealthy enough to afford it.

==D&D==
{{dnd-stub}}

==Pathfinder==
===1e===
Viking is a [[Fighter]] archetype from ''People of the North'', that was reprinted with small changes that buff it in ''Ultimate Wilderness''. In exchange for heavy armor, and weapon training it gives the ability to rage like a [[Barbarian]] and take rage powers in place of feats. It also replaces armor training with some bonuses to using a shield. It's not a ''terrible'' archetype, but suffers from the fact that rage+shield lacks synergy as a fighting style, weapon training being the source of most fighter support, and the question of "why don't you just play a Barbarian when you've given up everything that makes Fighter competitive with Barbarian?" having few good answers, so it winds up a suboptimal archetype.

===2e===
{{dnd-stub}}
An archetype that any class can take if you want to be a melee guy that knows some things about sailing and moving through water. You learn how to best use a shield, not be slow by wet terrain, in addition, to throw things while Running. Works well as an early investment in a sailing campaign where your often fighting in the ocean surf or in a swamp, while also dipping into additional weapon proficencys and shields usage in the same tree.

{{Pathfinder-2nd-Edition-Archetypes}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Elspeth_and_Vikings.png|When [[Elspeth Tirel]] needs backup, these are the people she calls.
Image:WarbandViking.jpg| JEG SKALL DRIKKE FRA HODESKALLEN DIN!!!.
Image:Lego_Viking_ship.jpg|Pillaging colorful brick villages since 576 A.D.
</gallery></center>

==See Also==
* [[Pirate]]
*[[The Poetic Edda]]
[[Category:History]]

Vikings

2021-08-28T06:20:26Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:44C1:DB3B:C5E6:7800: /* Culture */

{{Topquote|It was not as if we'd stayed home and wasted our lives drinking wine with pretty girls.|A recurring motif in the Lay of Kraka}}
[[Image:VikingShip.jpg|500px|thumb|right|A Viking Longship, A thirty meter long can o' [[rape]] (literally) back in the day.]]
'''Vikings''' were Scandinavian people from the 8th to 11th century, a period in which societies based in Denmark, Norway and Sweden, making use of their long-ships set forth to trade and colonize areas including Northern France, the British Isles, Russia, Iceland, Greenland and even reached North America (though the settlements they set up there did not last). They also made a habit of bathing and washing their hands frequently, which at the time was unheard of among the peoples of Europe. Probably because they had to have about two dozen dudes on a small boat for a long time, so you would regularly bathe if you didn't want to be [[That Guy]]. They only stopped when France, of all countries, rolled a nat 20 on Diplomacy by offering Normandy (deriving its name from the French word for Vikings, meaning Northmen), the northern part of France to duke Rollo. One of his descendents by the name of William (the Conqueror) ended up with a claim to the throne of a place populated with Anglo-Saxons named Anglo-land (later known as England), and ultimately became its king. So in other words, in an attempt to stop Viking raids, France ended up creating what became their arch-enemy for 800 years, making it one of the biggest cases of [[not as planned]] in history.

[[file:Movie_game_viking_vs_historical_viking.png|400px|thumb|right|Only equalled by the [[Ninja]] in this regard]]
Unlike popular belief, they did not wear horned helmets. This is for the practical reason that a big horned helmet might catch a sword unintentionally, which is all sorts of bad for the wearer; horned helmets were used on occasion, but only for ceremony. The ol' "horn-headed people eater" image was popularized during the 1800s. In general actually, historical Vikings don't have much in common with their pop-culture image aside from longships and fondness for raiding, as the pop-culture image tends to be that of a barbaric dirty warrior carrying unwieldy weapons and wearing stinky fur and leather clothes when in reality, Vikings appreciated hygiene as mentioned above, groomed their beards and had clean clothes, making them in many ways more civilized than rest of Europe at the time. Their weapons consisted mostly of simple spears, bearded axes and dane axes and of course the trusty round shield. While most Vikings had helmets, few had swords or armor as they were very expensive at the time. The pop-culture image of dirty barbarians derives mostly from the fact that history comes mostly from the writings of the Anglo-Saxons and the French, as in, those who were raided by the Vikings so naturally they didn't have particularly good or unbiased image of them.

As a final note "Viking" is not a noun, but a verb. Proper usage would be something like "Hey Olaf, I'm bored and need some spending money, want to go viking?" (The noun form would be ''víkingr'', a person who goes ''viking''). The people who went Viking were known as Norse.

==Culture==
Vikings believed that when they died in battle (preferably in a totally fuck-awesome way) they would go to a place called Valhalla to become one of the Einherjar (Chosen Slain) or to Fólkvangr (the realm controlled by Freyja, the Nordic goddess of love, prosperity, spring and being foxy as hell; also a death goddess and war goddess, which is why she gets half the chosen warriors in the first place), where they would chug booze, [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|eat all the meat and cheese they wanted]], and (if that actually managed to get dull) participate in massive murderfests only to be fully healed the next day and ready to do it all over again. On the other hand, if they died in bed or in a totally lame way (such as AIDs or cancer or... actually anywhere but battle is lame) they would instead go to a totally boring place called Hel where NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED! '''EVER!''' (As you might imagine, this became problematic for many of their folk heroes who were just that fucking hard to kill). And if ''that'' weren't bad enough, people who committed what the vikings saw as the unforgivable sins, like oathbreaking, went to a prison overseen by the goddess of the dead. The ceiling is made from the bones of serpents, which drip burning venom, the halls are waist-deep in cold, slimy blood, and there is nothing to drink but goats piss and nothing to eat but rotten food (basically a Minnesota Vikings game, but one that never ends and the weather's always bad). The exception is if you died while giving birth, then you got go to Valhalla; the vikings were surprisingly fair for their day in their attitudes towards the sexes.

That said, there was the ''third'' way to die. Dying at sea was totally cool for the Vikings, for while the Battle-junkies went to Valhalla and Freya, and the lame ones went to Hel, the Sea-Bears went to the Halls of Aegir, god of the sea, where they got their own Watery Valhalla.

Despite suffering demonization, [https://historycollection.com/16-facts-about-the-brutality-of-viking-life/ there's good reasons Vikings have a reputation for brutality]. Plus during their raiding parties, they would enslave, rape and/or kill the non-Viking people they encountered. Afterwards, the Vikings would [[Blood_Ravens#Bloody_Magpies|steal ''everything'' they could carry.]] If it couldn't be carried, they'd ''burn'' it. If they couldn't burn it they'd ''''SMASH'''' it! And remember, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turgesius they weren't above attacking people or places that couldn't defend themselves].

They continued doing this until they inadvertently stole Christianity and equipped it without reading the effect text, whereupon Viking warlords started to conquer shit rather than rape, pillage and kill everything in their sight. For quite a long time a large chunk of France and Italy, and the entirety of England and Russia were ruled by Vikings or their descendants, although they all got quickly assimilated into the nations they've conquered, to the point when they started to think of themselves as French/Russians in just a two or three generations after settling in. The Vikings also had a level of prestige in the Byzantine Empire, as they were the preferred recruits for the Emperor's bodyguard, the Varangian Guard.

=== [[Mythology#Norse Mythology|Norse Mythology]] ===
Like Greek mythology, the Norse have their own version of creation, different sets of gods, and heroic stories of manly feats. Here are some of them (Note that, much like Celtic mythology, Norse mythology was only written down long after Scandanavia had become Christian, so there remains a massive amount of missing stories [[Skub|assuming they survived unchanged before this]] (for example, while the war between the Vanir and the Aesir is mentioned, we don't actually have the full description of it, even though at one time it probably existed) and even much of what has survived should probably be taken with a grain of salt since whoever wrote it probably didn't hear about it first-hand or wanted to be syncretistic about it to help make it palpable for a Christian audience.

==In Modern Fiction==
Vikings and the honorable Neanderthals are some of the closest that the real world has ever had to [[dwarves]], but they should not be confused as such. While they had a penchant for [[axe]]s and could use anything, [[Dwarf Fortress|including body parts and broken furniture]], as a weapon, Vikings were just unspeakably awesome humans (they couldn't handle as much booze as a dwarf, though only just). Vikings that [[Toothless Dragon|rode Dragons]] even more so. Vikings are not to be confused with [[barbarian]]s either, despite any combination with the former resulting in awesome. [[Warriors of Chaos|Vikings are also notable for pledging themselves to Chaos]] and becoming [[Space Wolves|werewolf supersoldiers]].

The Vikings have also finally gotten their own TV show starring Vladimir Kullich. It is about the saga of Ragnar Lothbrok and his sons; Bjorn Ironside, Ivar the Boneless, Sigurd Snake-eye, Halfdan, Hvitserk, and Ubbe, as well as the tales of Duke Rollo of Normandy, King Harald Fairhair, and Alfred the Great of Wessex. On a side note, most stories and documentaries about real-life Vikings demonize either the Norse or the Saxons at the very least (the aforementioned TV show zig-zags between them); which side gets demonized '''will''' depend on how the writers feel about the Saxons or Christianity.

==Viking Longships==

The thing that put the Vikings on the map were their Longships (or LongBOAT if you're not [[skub|American]]). Basically these were large canoes made from planks with a mast to catch the wind. They could, however handle rough northern seas very well, and allowed some Vikings to reach such exotic locales as Newfoundland centuries before other Europeans. One thing that helped made the Longships such a gamechanger was that the vikings worked out that properly curing and drying out timbers it made it stronger and more resistant to being eaten at sea by nematodes and similar grody things. Another thing is that the ship didn't go much under water, which allowed it to be used in almost any river. This led to things such as a fleet of 120 ships and 5000 men suddenly appearing in the middle of Paris in 845. It was also possible to bring the mast down for increased aerodynamics and decreased risk of detection when the ship was moved by rowing.

Sometimes to save travel time, the Vikings would pull their Longships overland for kilometers. No joking, no hyperbole. A few tricks (like log rollers) helped, though. One of them (Oleg, the prince of Kievan Russ) even mounted his longships on wheels to quickly move them into Constantinople harbor, bypassing the defensive chain pulled across the path (which possibly inspired the Ottoman sultan Mehmed II when he used a similar trick to help him capture Constantinople).

Their Longships also had an [[derp|early warning system]] so that people could tell wether they were going to fuck them up or not. It's to do with the shields:
If the Shields were on the outside of their Longships, then they were coming to trade goods.
If the Shields were not on the outside of their Longships, then they were going to use them in battle, and you should run for the hills (if you get that far...)

==Viking Berserkers==
There's lot of bullshit about these guys on the internet and in general beliefs. Hell, the word itself had became the synonym of uncontrollable rage in many languages. The truth, however, is quite boring - berserkers (which comes from the Old Norse for "bear hide", as it was their signature piece of clothes they wore above armor, or sometimes instead of it) were equivalents of champions in the Norse culture with a pitch of warrior-priest flavor added - i.e. the guys who fought in duels on behalf of the tribe or some wealthy noble. And Norse culture had a fuckton of things settled with duels. As best of the best professional warriors among already brutally strong vikings they kicked all kinds of asses, and were rightfully feared for their skill and bravery. As you may guess, they where quite rare, so no "hordes" or even "squads" of berserkers for you - at best you'd have two or three per raid, and most often only one. As for uncontrollable rage... well, sagas mention a total of ZERO berserkers going into what we now call "[[Khorne|berserker]] rage" - there are mentions of jarls and ordinary warriors going to battle biting shields, foaming with mad anger and killing friend and foe alike, but never berserkers. WRONG:

{{topquote|-And as the foemen's ships drew near, The dreadful din you well might hear Savage berserks roaring mad, And champions fierce in wolf-skins clad, Howling like wolves; and clanking jar.|Harald Fairhair Saga ch 19.}}
Mushroom brew painkiller that allow to fight despite heavy or even fatal wounds likewise weren't their exclusive, although proper brew (that wouldn't ruin your liver, therefore sentencing you to a lame death in your bed if you survive the battle) was quite expensive, and berserkers, as pretty much second-in-command of jarls were among those wealthy enough to afford it.

==D&D==
{{dnd-stub}}

==Pathfinder==
===1e===
Viking is a [[Fighter]] archetype from ''People of the North'', that was reprinted with small changes that buff it in ''Ultimate Wilderness''. In exchange for heavy armor, and weapon training it gives the ability to rage like a [[Barbarian]] and take rage powers in place of feats. It also replaces armor training with some bonuses to using a shield. It's not a ''terrible'' archetype, but suffers from the fact that rage+shield lacks synergy as a fighting style, weapon training being the source of most fighter support, and the question of "why don't you just play a Barbarian when you've given up everything that makes Fighter competitive with Barbarian?" having few good answers, so it winds up a suboptimal archetype.

===2e===
{{dnd-stub}}
An archetype that any class can take if you want to be a melee guy that knows some things about sailing and moving through water. You learn how to best use a shield, not be slow by wet terrain, in addition, to throw things while Running. Works well as an early investment in a sailing campaign where your often fighting in the ocean surf or in a swamp, while also dipping into additional weapon proficencys and shields usage in the same tree.

{{Pathfinder-2nd-Edition-Archetypes}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Elspeth_and_Vikings.png|When [[Elspeth Tirel]] needs backup, these are the people she calls.
Image:WarbandViking.jpg| JEG SKALL DRIKKE FRA HODESKALLEN DIN!!!.
Image:Lego_Viking_ship.jpg|Pillaging colorful brick villages since 576 A.D.
</gallery></center>

==See Also==
* [[Pirate]]
*[[The Poetic Edda]]
[[Category:History]]