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Ossiarch Bonereapers

2021-04-19T23:31:26Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:64DD:6007:469D:9486: /* Broken Realms */

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Ossiarch Bonereapers|Logo=Immortis-WC2.jpg|Alliance=Death|Motto=The Skeleton War is upon us! We ride against the [[Stormcast Eternals|fuckboys]]!}}

{{topquote|Two can play at that game!|Likely Nagash after learning how Sigmar makes Stormcast}}
{{topquote|Debt, an ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.|Ambrose Bierce}}
{{topquote|The bones of the skeleton which support the body can become the bars of the cage which imprison the spirit.|J. Ruth Gendler}}

The latest addition to [[Nagash]]’s ever growing hordes (designed and sculpted by [[Maxime Corbeil]], a former dentist), the '''Ossiarch Bonereapers'''
(Also known as '''The Boney Boys''', '''Bonecast''', '''Tomb Kings 2.0''', '''Bonechads''', '''Nagash's Taxmen''', '''The Boney Bean Counters''', '''Ossiarch Bean Counters''' or '''The IRS''') are the result of an eons old plan by Big Bone Daddy.

Likely inspired by the [[Stormcast Eternals]], the Bonereapers are not mere skeletons given life by necromancy, but massive constructs of bone and countless warrior souls, making them all look impressively robust for undead. Since the Legions of Nagash are the mainstay, the Nighthaunt are the shock troops and the Flesh-Eater Courts are completely insane, these buff bone boys are the elite vanguard of the Grand Alliance. Given their themes of bones, undead constructs priest characters, architect characters and skull-throwing catapults... they're currently the closest thing we've got to [[Tomb Kings]] in AoS.

They also carry out the Bone Tithe; in addition to going out and killing shit to get their bones, the Ossiarchs give settlements they encounter a contract: Give up a set amount of bones whenever we stroll by, or face annihilation now. Understandably, most choose the former. Being unable to pay or even being rude to them also provokes a slaughter.

Visually-speaking, they're what happens when Games Workshop decides to mix [[Tyranids]], [[Tomb Kings]], and [[Necrons]] into one army.

==History==
===Age of Myth===
[[File:Slaves to Darkness vs Ossiarch Bonereapers 01.jpg|right|300px|thumb|SKULLS FOR <s>THE SKULL THRONE</s> Nagash! And all the other bones too!]]
When Nagash was helping Sigmar build his cities he secretly began experimenting on undead, combining their bones and souls into newer, stronger undead warriors; the [[Morghasts/Hammurai|Morghasts]] and the first Bonereapers. Most were put into massive underground crypts Nagash secretly had built beneath the cities, but others were kept on the surface and brought into battle. The other gods saw the Bonereapers and really didn't like them because of how unnatural they were. In response, Nagash sent these Bonereapers to the edge of Shyish to lay low until he called on them (these Bonereapers who would go on to form the Null Myriad). He also sent at least twenty of them to wander the Realms on a long-forgotten mission (these would go on to become the Petrifex Elite).

Strangely, none of the Order groups noticed until however long its been since the start of the Age of Myth that there were crypts full of undead warriors beneath their cities. Especially since they know about and need to defend against [[Skaven|enemies who specialize in creating massive complexes beneath your cities that they then invade from.]]

===Age of Chaos===
The Age of Chaos only affected the Bonereapers garrisoned at the edge of Shyish. By that time they had become resistant to magic, and they fought against demonic armies, their actions blunting the assault of Chaos on Shyish. During this time, Katakros led an army against Sigmar himself on Nagash's orders while the former was pursuing the latter for his betrayal. The battle resulted in the loss of Katakros' army, the Mortarch's defeat and subsequent confinement to a Stormvault.

===Age of Sigmar===
====Malign Portents====
During this time, Katakros was freed from the Stormvault by fellow Mortarch, Lady Olynder. The Bonereapers on the edge of Shyish acted as a military force protecting the skeletal work crews who carried grains of Shyishan realmstone to Nagashizzar for Nagash to use to build the Black Pyramid.

====Soul Wars====
After the Necroquake, Nagash decided the time was right to wake up everyone beneath these cities, who (according to the most recent Stormcast) apparently marched back home, making them relatively pointless. In that respect, these tombs seemed to mirror the Stormvaults Sigmar had strewn about the Realms to contain various dangerous contraband like [[Katakros|a certain Mortarch]].

When the Bonereaper legions arrived in Shyish, Nagash got back to his pet-project of making super-skellies, and perfected the process. This involves taking souls and distilling them down to their most choice elements. This involves ripping apart their identity and keeping parts considered useful (such as skills and knowledge) while discarding the parts that aren't useful (such as fears and loyalties to anyone but Nagash) and replacing those parts with something better (like loyalty to Nagash), with the strongest-willed soul among them becoming the identity of the new Bonereaper. Then these fragmented souls are put into specially crafted bone constructs. By doing so, he artificially created individuals who were warriors, leaders, bodyguards, artisans, architects, philosophers and sculptors all in one, [[Adeptus Custodes|which sounds a little familiar.]]

The Bonereapers subsequently had a meteoric rise, making their mark - and several enemies - across the realms. After establishing their powerbase in Shyish, the Ironjawz Warclan the Kryptboyz have focused their efforts on fighting the Bonereapers due to wanting to destroy their settlements and wear their bones as trophies. In Chamon, the Null Myriad encountered the Seraphon of the Thunder Lizard Constellation and got embroiled in wars for control of the realm's edge. The Ivory Host legion have gotten a foothold in Ghur, and in building their cities they've positioned themselves for conflict with several Mawtribes and the free city of Excelsis. The Ivory Host also clashed with a [[Sons of Behemat|Mega-Gargant and indirectly led him to become the mercenary known as One-Eyed Grunnock]]. They have also sent forces into Hysh that came into conflict with the Lumineth.

This was followed by the Bonereapers most notable conflict; starting the War for the Eightpoints. Katakros led the Mortis Praetorians and detachments from other Legions into the Eightpoints alongside Olynder and a Nighthaunt army to take the Eightpoints for Nagash. They succeeded in capturing and fortifying the realmgate leading to Shyish, and have established a fortified citadel around it as a base of operations. However, Katakros' campaign was halted by the return of Archaon, who defeated him in battle. Following Katakros' restoration, the conflict has become a war of attrition.

====Broken Realms====
When Morathi entered the Eightpoints in her plan to secure Varanite, she secretly sent an envoy to Katakros, giving him several tonnes of bones infused with the magic of Ulgu in exchange for a Bonereaper attack on Archaon's holdings to distract the forces of Chaos. Knowing the forces of order will take losses in their unknown (to Katakros and the Stormcast) endeavor, Katakros accepts the bargain.

Around this time, Teclis and his Lumineth Realm-Lords launched an invasion of Shyish to seek an end the Soul Wars and make Nagash pay for unleashing the Necroquake. They proved a force that could match the Bonereapers in battle, winning numerous conflicts and destroying citadels before <s>fleeing</s> going back to Hysh as the battles were to send the message that the Bonereapers aren't unbeatable. But they didn't count on the Bonereapers using the dead of both sides to replenish their losses, and eager for payback. Soon a Bonereaper force led by Arkhan himself invaded Hysh to press-gang the Mordant Courts hiding in Avalenor's mountains to join Nagash and <s>give the Lumineth a right proper boning</s> help conquer Ymetrica.

End result, the Bonereapers get worfed like an Avatar of [[Khaine]] in 40k (not including Arkhan’s defeat/banishment by the Light of Eltharion), since the Lumineth learned to burn their dead to limit the Ossiarch’s recruitment and force them to harvest the bones of their own ghoul allies, leading to more trouble as the Flesh-Eaters began fighting back against their allies. Soon Nagash personally arrived in Hysh to sacrifice Avalenor and create a mini-Nadir in Hysh before being forced to do battle against Teclis, with each God’s respective armies doing battle beneath their feet. Teclis proved to be the victor due to some unexpected allies in Alarielle and several Luminarks, destroying Nagash's books, imprisoning the great necromancer in Nagashizzar and undoing his Necroquake, with the remaining Bonereapers put to the blade.

Now that Nagash is out of the picture (for the time being), Arkhan may or may not be gone for good, and with the other forces of death likely to splinter off and carve their own trails of carnage, the Ossiarch are the only remnant of their master’s will.

Also at some point, they become a target for the reborn [[Sigvald]], who revenge for Nagash imprisoning him in a Shadeglass mirror by destroying his beloved pet project.

==Society==
[[File:Ossiarch Bonereapers Society.jpg|right|300px|thumb|Adds a whole new meaning to the phrase "pyramid scheme".]]
All Ossiarch Bonereapers are built for a specific purpose and assigned a role based on the souls from which they’re formed. This is codified through a caste system, with Nagash at the top, then Mortarchs Katakros and Arhkan, then the highest ranking Ossiarchs underneath and various ranks beneath that. The Bonereaper caste system has a cartouche representing each caste (though Nagash's is just to symbolize him). While there is a Mortarch cartouche, only Katakros wears it because Arkhan predates the Bonereaper system (and everyone but Nagash) by several eons, and despite their alliance he's too proud to wear Katakros' symbol. While they're all obedient to Nagash and fearless, the Bonereapers used in battle are sapient and the characters at least have enough individuality to have names and some personality, though they tend to be pragmatic, work-oriented and elitist. Having said that, they are still capable of doubt and camaraderie which can make them question, regret or even challenge their orders.

While many Ossiarch Bonereapers are warriors, there are castes of groups such as crafters and preachers. There is movement between castes, but only downwards, and as a punishment for failure. A Liege Kavalos who fails in their mission, for example, may be remade as a Kavalos Deathrider. If the offense was major, they might get remade as a steed. The lowest caste are the exiles collectively referred to as Parrha, consisting of the worst offenders who get broken and remade into warped skeletal aberrations incapable of fighting and the Bonereapers value them less than the Imperial Guard values the life of its rank and file soldiers (for the uninitiated, that's really saying something).

The Ossiarch Bonereapers can be found all across the Mortal Realms, aiming to conquer everything from Azyr to the Eightpoints. At present, the majority of the Ossiarch Bonereapers are concentrated in Shyish, inhabiting the nations that surround the Shyish Nadir. This allows them easy access to a vast source of magical power and establishes them as a permanent garrison around this most valuable of territories. Apart from Shyish, the largest concentrations of Bonereapers are in Ghur and Chamon.

The Ossiarch Bonereapers build according to principles laid down in the Principia Necrotopia, a set of guidelines that ensure optimal construction:

In the first stages of colonizing a new region, the Ossiarchs will establish tithing sites. Presumably, this involves mapping out surrounding settlements and segments of the region into their own tributaries, with each section's inhabitants made to sign a contract to begin paying the Tithe. They contruct shrines known as Bone-Tithe Nexus, which act as locations for vassals to dump their bones and are enchanted to give out powerful curses to ward off any scavengers seeking to steal from it.

Next, they will fortify key territories with small fortifications, following up with a number of Mortisan workshops to fuel the next stage of their expansion. These small holdings will eventually develop into vast and imposing fortresses, growing ever upward as the Bonereapers’ numbers grow. These are not just barracks, but places of culture for the Ossiarchs.

Ossiarch scholars will endlessly study scrolls in charnel libraries, recording the details of cultures in the Mortal Realms they have subjugated and those they seek to subjugate. These vast citadel-states eventually resemble Nagashizzar itself.

===The Bone Tithe===
[[File:Bone tithe.jpg|left|300px|thumb|Put your spines into it. Literally!]]
The Bone Tithe is instrumental to their society and Nagash's way of setting himself up as mob boss of the realms. Upon arriving in an area, the Ossiarchs send out scouts to get the lay of the land. When they find a settlement they want tribute from, a representative - in practice usually a Mortisan - approaches and makes them an offer they can't refuse; give "x" by the deadline at regular intervals, or we kill you all now and take what we want. To communicate, the Bonereapers draw on prior research for the local language; it doesn't matter if the vernacular's out of date by a few centuries or so, as long as they can be understood. If that doesn't work, the Bonereapers use other means, including killing a local and using their spirit as a translator if all else fails. If the locals refuse, attack them or are rude enough, [[Grimdark|the Bonereapers make good on their threat, slaughtering everything in the settlement that has bones, right down to the last child and stray animal]]. If they are feeling "nice", the Bonereapers might only kill the dissenters.

When demanding the Bone Tithe, what/who the bones come from plus the amount required depends on the situation and Bonereaper legion in question. Human bone is the most widely used, with ogor bones a close second for their size and toughness. Apart from that, duardin bones are liked for their durability but aren't common enough, aelf bones are slightly more common but don't replenish fast enough, and greenskin bones are very common but coarse, porous and prone to spontaneous fungal growth unless treated properly. While animal bones are also used, such as to repair Kavalos steeds or make Gothizzar Harvesters, that's not always the case and it depends on what animal they're from (Rhinoxen and Bleaklake crocodiles are popular choices). How the bones are acquired is irrelevant, the most common options ranging from emptying the local cemetery to [[Grimdark|having everyone eligible give a limb or holding a lottery where those chosen are killed and the bones taken from their corpses]].

The Bonereapers (though inbuilt or learned ability, it's not clear) CAN tell the difference between what race or species a specific bone comes from, so trying to cheat them with different kinds of bones doesn't work. They also respond to trickery the same way they respond to failure or refusal - immediate slaughter (as a human town learned to their cost when they tried to trick the Bonereapers by mixing pig bones in with human bones). Even other Death factions aren't immune to the Bone Tithe, as the Bonereapers' laws consider their charge from Nagash to supersede any commonalities with his other followers (callous elitism isn't good for alliances, reflected in the rules by the Bonereapers not being able to take allies outside Drogg Fort-Kicka).

Sometimes things are even worse. A particularly war-horny leader, most often from the Stalliarch Lords (more on them below), will give nigh-impossible demands to increase the chance of failure. What kinds of demands? How about asking a city's population for detailed records on everyone's family lineage going back to the founders and the condition of every bone in the city ''including bones still inside the living inhabitants''. Or maybe they ask for just one ton of bones ''every day'' (for extra lulz, the offer is made at night and has to be completed the next day). They might instead, or also, [[That Guy|arrive early to extract the Tithe just to get a good slaughter out of it]]. However it ends, the bones of the Ossiarch's victims are sorted through, the good bones taken for future use the sub-par ones discarded (same with their victims souls). Strips of skin and flesh from these unfortunates are hung from the Bonereapers' spears as a warning to anyone who considers not paying the Tithe.

Ultimately, they have a term related to the Bone Tithe called the “Terminus Concept”. This refers to the point where a society can't provide enough bones so they get slaughtered and their bones are taken. For the truth is that the Bone Tithe is ultimately unsustainable for the payers, and the Bonereapers know it. This all proves that, while Nagash is a pragmatic sort of fellow, he'll always find a way to be a <s>boner</s> [[Eldrad|huge skeletal dick]] about it.

==Forces==
[[File:Bonereaper army.jpg|right|500px|thumb|'''Angry Dooting Intensifies''']]
*'''Mortek Guard:''' Rank and file infantry of the Bonereapers. Well armored and shielded, they have the choice of swords or spears and optional greatswords as weapons. Their primary role is to create massive shield walls to protect their leaders.
*'''Morghast Harbingers and Archai:''' You know em, you love em. Nagash's original sculpted bone construct based on not-angels from the World-That-Was now served as prototypes to the current regime of spoopy skeltals. Flying blenders armed with either halberds (take these) or twin swords (dont take these). Harbingers are your chargey bois, while the Archai are bodyguard bois.
*'''Necropolis Stalkers:''' Four-armed skeletal constructs the size of Kurnoth Hunters with four faces, each one has the soul of four warriors, and switches between which one is dominant, altering their fighting style accordingly. Their name's ripped from the Necropolis Knights and the Tomb Stalkers.
*'''Immortis Guard:''' Four-armed <s>Grave Guard</s> <s>Tomb Guard</s> elite skellingtons armed with a halberd in one set of hands and a shield in the other. Like the Morghasts, Immortis are the bodyguard bois to the Stalkers' chargey bois.
*'''Kavalos Deathriders:''' Essentially bony knights somewhere between Black Knights and Varanguard in power level, and who serve Bone Daddy. Each one has the soul of dozens of warriors to draw on their knowledge and is proportionately arrogant. They have undead birds roosting on their banner poles that act as spies and messenger birds. For added creep factor, these guys normally walk at a slow and ominous trot, only sprinting when going into a headlong charge.
*'''Mortek Crawler:''' Screaming Skull Catapult 2.0 with an obligatory patent-friendly rename. In addition to flaming skulls, it can also hurl a cauldron of Death Magic that works based on bravery or a cursed stone that gets more powerful the more damage the Crawler takes. It's also powered by a bone-made hamster wheel and multiple legs.
*'''Gothizzar Harvester:''' A big monster construct with weapon hands and half a skeleton for a codpiece that helps harvest bones. The Harvester uses them to make new constructs on the fly or repair damaged ones. Their weapon arms come with either enchanted maces or scything blades for hands.
*'''Mortisan Soulreaper:''' Your offensive caster for the Bonereapers with a scythe that doesn't like hordes.
*'''Mortisan Boneshaper:''' The healers/builders of the Bonereapers. Formed from the souls of artists, they’re in charge of building the extravagant bone cities and other architecture of the legions. They all possess a friendly rivalry with each other that pushes them to one up another’s artwork.
*'''Mortisan Soulmason:''' Miniature Arkhans with four arms who are in charge of hunting and fusing souls for their various constructs. They ride into battle on bony [[Fyodor Karamazov|thrones with chicken legs]].
*'''Liege-Kavalos''': Field generals with skeleton mounts placed in charge of leading the Bonereaper armies. They are forged as a cruel mockery of Sigmar’s Lord-Celestant on Dracoth.

===Famous Legions===
*'''Mortis Praetorians''': The 10,000 strong personal army of Katakros, created out of the souls of those he personally knew in life. They have gained a fearsome reputation for their tactical acumen, especially in Shyish. [[Ultramarines|The poster boys who are a jack-of-all-trades, big on tactics and led by an ancient leader who was the basis for future generations]]. They also have the only two Bonereapers with a single original soul; Katakros himself and Zandtos.
* '''Petrifex Elite''': Made up of nomadic armies crafted from prehistoric fossilized bones, they are known for being slow-moving and a near impenetrable wall of bone. While fossilized bone tends to be fragile, the Petrifex Elite enchant them to be tough and also include already supernaturally tough bones among them (ie; the bones of godbeasts). Led by Mortisans, [[Necrons|they only exist to slay and find ancient bones to build more of themselves and make themselves even deadlier]]. They have forgotten why Nagash wants them to do this, and their leaders eschew personal identity to the point of using titles instead of names, as mandated by their leader and most senior Mortisan, the Grand Necromystic.
* '''Null Myriad''': The first Ossiarch Bonereapers made during Nagash's experiments in the Age of Myth. The Null Myriad were later refined and bolstered using the bones and souls of the countless dead who helped construct Nagash’s Black Pyramid and the best of Arkhan's Black Disciples. They are a solemn yet prideful lot with high resilience to magic and were given to Arkhan to be his personal legion; they're so loyal to Arkhan that they defer to him even over Katakros himself. Their resistance to magic extends to the power of Chaos, so they're used to inhabit the most inhospitable parts of the realms. Recently Arkhan made an alliance with Katakros, and the Null Myriad's job is to secure magic-heavy locations in the realms so Katakros can control the sources of their magic. The Null Myriad forces in Chamon have come into conflict with the Seraphon of the Thunder Lizards Constellation who also dwell there.
*'''Ivory Host''': Outwardly, they appear as honorable warriors, but hidden away in their bodies is a monstrous frenzy that turns them into clawing slavering beasts. Fitting considering they are constructed from beast and monster bones. Tasked by Nagash to conquer Ghur, they overcompensate for their bestial anger by being meticulously clean and making everything of theirs as much of a work of art as possible. Also known for [[Tomb Kings|being the only Ossiarchs who build ships, use the color gold regularly in their attire and are led by a monarch]]. Currently they’ve claimed the realmgate of Greedmouth and established the Ivory Citadel in the southwestern corner of the Ghurish Heartlands, putting them awfully close to numerous [[Ogor Mawtribes]] and the [[Cities of Sigmar|free city]] of Excelsis.
*'''Stalliarch Lords''': A cavalry centric force who are [[Creed|skillful tacticians]] and like to make impossible demands so they have an excuse to raze cities and slaughter people (on the rare occasion that someone meets their outrageous demands they keep their word... but remember the Terminus Concept). They take the freshest remains whenever possible to maximize how much they're infused with essence of the slain, which gives them more speed and vitality than other Bonereaper Legions and often a blood-slicked appearance. Basically [[That Guy]] as a cavalry-loving undead legion.
*'''Crematorians''': These Bonereapers are burning with an internal fire to the point where some of them literally explode when killed. Some of them have recently realized that they don't really have a purpose other than to fight and explode, and aren't too happy about that. In fact, their leaders [[Noblebright|have made pacts of friendship to repair each other if any of them are destroyed and the chief Liege-Kavalos scours the libraries of everyone they encounter in the hopes of finding a way to undo their fiery curse, and is implied to be on the verge of a breakthrough]].

==Significant Skeletons==
* '''[[Katakros|Orpheon Katakros]], [[Mortarch]] of the Necropolis''': In life he was the greatest strategic genius in all the Mortal Realms, and undeath has done nothing to dull his mastery of military tactics. He's been given a new body of enscrolled bone by Nagash himself which looks like a [[Jojo's Bizarre Adventure|JoJo stand]] rather than a skeleton. He goes into battle surrounded by various attendants; the Liege-Immortis, the Aviarch Spymaster, the Gnosis Scrollbearer, and the Prime Necrophoros.
*'''Arch-Kavalos Zandtos''': Both in life and in death, Patru Zandtos has been Katakros’ most trusted lieutenant. In life he was a refined, death-obsessed assassin who treated killing as a sacred art that should be as clean as possible and thus hated the loud, messy butchery of battle. In undeath, through the manipulations of Nagash and Katakros, he’s now a death-purist who wishes to “cleanse” Shyish of anything still living.
*'''Vokmortian, Master of the Bone-tithe''': The grim tallyman in charge of recording/judging the Tithe. He carries the severed heads of those foolish enough to refuse to pay the Tithe and has a coffin on his back, making him look like a giant beetle. Though officially he’s under Katakros and Arkhan in the OBR hierarchy, he’ll only receive/carry out orders from Big Bone Daddy himself...which might be a bit difficult now that Nagash was sealed away by Teclis.
*'''[[Arkhan the Black]]''': Yeah, he's part of the army despite technically being just an "average" liche as opposed to a bone golem thing. Likely because apart from Nagash, he's the most privy to understanding how they are made without being one. While he has his own private legion in the Null Myriad, his authority is recognized by all the Ossiarch legions.
*'''Xaramos''': A Mortisan Boneshaper of the Mortis Praetorians, skilled in both diplomacy and keeping the legion operating at full efficiency. He assisted Arkhan in his counter invasion of Ymetrica in Hysh, where he put his diplomatic skills to use in acquiring the assistance of the [[Flesh-Eater Courts|Vertigon Court]] to defeat the Lumineth aelves. When supplies started to dwindle however, the pragmatic Boneshaper was quick to tithe the ghouls for every bone they had, much to the horror of his unintentional comrade the Ghoul King Varshorn. Both the personal forces of Xaramos and Varshorn battled amidst the gore-caked caverns of the Starfang Mont in a conflict that would called the Charnel War, with hints that Xaramos might have felt actual camaraderie with Vashorn and regrets fighting him. The conflict ended when Vashorn decaptiated Xaramos and the Ghouls defeated the Bonereapers.

==Spooky Melodies for your Bony Boys==

*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DsZivjop_s Spooky Scary Skeletons! a remix for a revamp]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKHAX1K4sKQ The Dead March returns for AoS!]

==Trivia==
* The architecture of the Ossiarch Bonereapers was likely inspired by the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sedlec_Ossuary Sedlec Ossuary] in the Czech Republic. The Sedlec Ossuary is a Roman Catholic church where the bones of thousands of people have been artistically arranged to form the decorations and the furnishings of the chapel (it's also called "the Bone Church"). This was done several centuries ago for creative interment reasons with many dead and not enough space to bury them on holy ground.
* On a comical note, "Kavalos", the name for Bonereaper cavalry, translates to "crotch" in Greek (the Greek word is "kaválos"). Makes more sense when you think of [[Katakros]]' defining trait lookswise, and how his name even sounds like the Greek word.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Bonereaper vs Kharadron.jpg|Sky Pirates vs Bone Golems.
File:Cavalry-bonereapers.jpg|As if Blood Knights weren't bad enough, Bone Daddy brings out Kavalos Deathriders too.
File:Gothizzar Harvester.jpg|"Oh those bones, oh those bones, oh those skeleton bones. Oh mercy how they scare! With the toe bone connected to the foot bone..."
File:Bonereaper city.jpg|right|300px|thumb|Welcome to Necrotopia. Please remember to remove all skin and flesh before you reach customs.
</gallery>

==See Also==

*[[Nagash]], their jerk of a god whom they give their undisputed loyalty to (yes, really!)

{{Template:Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]

Slaanesh

2021-04-19T23:22:05Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:64DD:6007:469D:9486: /* What? Warhammer? */

[[File:Slaanesh_mark.png|center]]
{{awesome}}
{{heresy}}
{{Promotions}}
{{/d/}}
{{sick|The hermaphrodite god/goddess of rape who wants to eat everyone's souls and rape them forever.}}

[[Image:Slaanesh_by_baklaher-d7dvohn.jpg|thumb|500px|right|Slaanesh... tempting you to join a [[rape|party in which you will never forget...]] [[Rule 34|also now in even more NSFW!]]]]

<span style='color:purple;font-size:100%'>'''''PORN FOR THE PORN GOD! SMUT FOR THE SMUT THRONE! RAPE FOR THE RAPE TRAIN!<br> - The Motto that Slaanesh wants YOU to believe in'''''</span>

{{Topquote|Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.|Dr. Frank-N-Furter, Rocky Horror Picture Show}}

{{Topquote|To be loved, feelings must be rationed. To love, the doors of hysteria, fantasy, and madness may be flung open.|Anton LaVey}}

{{Topquote|An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom.|Charles Baudelaire}}

{{Topquote|Everything is good when it is excessive.|Donatien-Alphonse-François, AKA Marquis de Sade}}

{{Topquote|Blood does more than turn me on, it makes me cum. And more than the sight of it, I love the taste of it. The taste of hot, freshly killed blood... Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth are my politics! Filth is my life! Take whatever you like.|Divine, Pink Flamingoes}}

{{Topquote|OO! KINKY!|Anyone who ever set eyes on a daemon of slaanesh}}

==Introduction: The Slaanesh Inquisition==
[[Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|thumb|500px|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated.] Wait, one whip is held in the hand and the other is held in the...]]
Behold '''Slaanesh''', also known as '''Shaarnor (to [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Elves and some humans]]), Shornaal (to [[Warriors of Chaos|humans and some Elves]]), The Dark Prince, the Lord of Excess, Leviathan, Lord of the Labyrinth, Big Tiddy Goth Prince, Dr. Frank-N-Furter, The Sweet Transvestite, The Lusty Argonian Maid, the Colossal Pervert, Creator of Rule 34''', '''the Ultimate Trap''', [[Cornholio the Cultist|'''Tiddycaca''']], '''Never Went to Rehab''', '''Slut4Evar''', '''the one who ruins everything,''' '''the new thing, and multiple other names. Slaanesh is the [[Chaos God]] of [[/d/|perversion, Hentai]], [[Extra Heresy|shamelessness]], [[Furry|excess]], [[Rebecca Black|the most disgusting Pop Music in the history of ever]], sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Heretical Fa/tg/uys cannot resist the most disgusting [[heresy]] of masturbating furiously to Slaanesh and their [[daemonette]]s.

Slaanesh was 'born' (in this case semi literally, from aspects other chaos gods had.) at the fall of the [[Eldar]], when all their torture, [[rape]], S&M, bondage, decadence, eventually tore the fabric of reality a new one and gave birth to Slaanesh along with the [[Eye of Terror]], killing the majority of their race. Thus, the final chaos god is known as the one that was literally murderfucked into existence. As a result, Slaanesh owns almost every last Eldar soul in the entire galaxy. In the event of an Eldar dying without a spirit stone, he or she becomes Slaanesh's sex toy for all of eternity day and night forever and ever (excluding Exodites, whose soul will automatically go to their planet's world spirit and Harlequins, who are scooped up by the [[Cegorach|great clown]] himself, and the faithful of Ynnead). This is why Eldar are willing to manipulate entire worlds into [[Exterminatus|exterminating]] each other just to save one of their own. The [[Dark Eldar]] take this up to eleven; because they do not use spirit stones nor are they protected like the Harlequins, Slaanesh is constantly sanding their souls down around the edges. In order to circumvent this they resort to huffing the souls of those in agony or of those who have recently died. However this isn't done ''just'' for survival; the Dark Eldar revel in sadism for its own sake too. In the end every Eldar in the galaxy, even the Drukhari and the Harlequins, are inextricably linked to Slaanesh in some way.

Of course, the descriptions above apply primarily to Slaanesh's WH40K history. In WHFB, Slaanesh has no real backstory and sort of just came out of nowhere like the other Chaos gods.

Among other things, Slaanesh is the god of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. Slaanesh is fueled by excess and pleasure, which means gratuitous amounts of anything generally fall under its influence. This actually becomes a big problem for Khorne, the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]] and the other Chaos Gods, whose worshipers have to constantly try not to enjoy themselves too much lest they end up feeding the Warp's whipping bitch. Especially when the Inquisition is all too enthusiastic about whipping heretics.It is for this reason ironically enough that she is hated by every single entity in the warp, Yes even Nurgle. More on that below.

Many horny juveniles who have just found Warhammer seem to be obsessed with Slaanesh being a God(ess) of sexual pleasure. While [[fluff]] claims this is not true, in practical terms Slaanesh is the deity of pleasure, which can be broad. Pleasure can be derived from various sources, as such this can be anything from sex, eating, companionship, and so on and so forth. However, because Chaos is Chaos, Slaanesh is mostly associated with the extremes of pleasure including lechery, gluttony, extreme masochism, extreme sadism, perverse sexual deviance, and so on. These are just some of the pleasures Slaaneshi followers partake in because Slaanesh's credo is to experience everything to the fullest. As a practitioner falls ever deeper into the embrace of their dark god, they are consumed with a need to drive these sensations first to the limit of human experience, and then beyond into madness. This basically means: why settle for one loving wife to have sex with you when you can have a hive world of insatiable concubines to fulfill your every desire? Or why eat one disgustingly expensive luxury meal when you could eat a Paradise world's supply of the stuff? Why just resort to cutting yourself to feel the pleasure of pain when you could be chopping off lumps of your flesh to heighten the sensation of pain? Numerous examples of 40k lore have made it apparent that while those who fall to Slaanesh might start off with a desire to fulfill their rather run-of-the-mill baser instincts, it always spirals into insanity. For example, in the novel ''Shadowsword'', a young nobleman makes a deal with a devilish creature so that he can possess and sleep with his lady love, who is also his first cousin. By the time all is said and done, a grand party to welcome the forces of Chaos to their world turns into a charnel scene where the guests ''imagine'' themselves to be dancing and enjoying fine food and drink, but in reality they are tearing each other apart with their bare hands and engaging in cannibalism; others believe that they are embracing when their bodies and flesh are literally melding together. These are the types of scenes that truly resonate in the Warp, and thus grant Slaanesh power.

One would think that if, as claimed, Slaanesh was the lord of all ''pleasure'' then Slaanesh would be omnipotent because, in the end, biological and psychological fact tells us that every living thing with a fucking Neuron acts in order to feel pleasure and escape pain (the "pleasure principle"). However, here is the most important thing worth emphasizing, just in case you haven't picked it up already: the point of Slaanesh is not to revel in ''any'' pain or pleasure. Rather, the point is to gain power from exposing mortals to the types of experiences that a sane person ''could not'' and ''would not'' ever be able to imagine in the first place. For all but the very strongest and most devout, this pollutes and twists their very souls to such an extent that they remain in thrall to Slaanesh forever. Such horizons of experience and sensation are far, far beyond the predictable inclinations and fetishes of your typical 4chan fa/tg/uy.

Even [[Khorne]], Slaanesh's primary rival, feels pleasure in killing, and Tzeentch feels pleasure in [[Just as Planned]]. That is why 40k lore tends to focus on Slaanesh as a God of the most disgusting pleasures ever, not as a God of all pleasure. Additionally, in the [[fluff]], it does state that most pleasures (like regular love or the desire to eat) that might be covered under the "pleasure principle" are too "weak" to sustain Slaanesh. Considering that it's damn hard for most humans to get more than a piece of stale toast and a dry handjob before collapsing from exhaustion after a grueling 80-hour week working in some hive-world factory for the Emprah, the only way to get enough sex, drugs, and partying in to impress Slaanesh is to be a ruthless, controlling, evil bastard. (''It is worth noting that GW seems to have picked up somewhat on this fact. As of the latest daemon codex it does mention that Slaanesh has a particular way of influencing the other chaos gods and that they are all wary of them given that they draw some strength from the extreme behaviours they promote in their followers and are subject to themselves.'')

Slaanesh is also associated with the arts and creativity, as creativity means pursuing one's own personal desires. Self-indulgence and personal expression are the bedrock of the arts, after all. Those attracted to Slaanesh could theoretically be more than just aristocratic ravers, but also particularly eccentric artists, writers, etc. Slaanesh is Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll in the purest sense of the word. It is not just the depraved orgy after the concert, but the scintillatingly brilliant concert that caused the orgy to begin with. One could assume that, in order to prevent Slaanesh's influence from spreading, the Imperium of Man would censor not just content but style. A radically structured poem, a painting with hints of debased content, even a deviation from traditional chord structures would presumably bring the Inquisition to your doorstep.

If Slaanesh had a voice actor, it would be [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc80tFJpTuo Tim Curry] and/or Tilda Swinton.

==What? Warhammer?==
[[File:Slaanesh Old.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The first depiction of Slaanesh in Warhammer art.]]
In the new [[Age of Sigmar]] setting, Slaanesh has gone missing. Tyrion and Malerion worked together to capture Slaanesh, unknowningly helped along by the machinations of Tzeentch. Thus Slaanesh has been removed from the Pantheon of Chaos and replaced by the [[Horned Rat]]. Derp. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIMg2Xw4_8s While it was thought Slaanesh is being kept in a hidden warehouse while Tyrion works him/her over to make Slaanesh give back Aliathra's soul], this is revealed to be mostly true, but for elves in general as there is no sign of Aliathra yet.
[[File:AoSBeholdSlaanesh.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Slaanesh imprisoned: Unable to decide which dildo to use first, Slaanesh is effectively neutralized! Ingenious! (Also, to answer the question you never asked, Slaanesh is not circumcised. Seriously, take a close look at where those chains pierce)]]

Yet hope for Slaanesh faction lovers still remains. With Slaanesh missing, his forces have split between those trying to find and free Slaanesh (the refer to themselves as Seekers), those who are trying to claim their former master's position (they are referred to as Pretenders and consists of every Chaos Lord and Keeper of Secrets that wants to claim their former masters position as the new god of depravity) and those who have continued to be allied to Archaon in his wars against the Mortal Realms (who are referred to as Invaders). This last faction is currently the biggest and is the main Slaanesh force fighting Order; it is mostly being led by Slaanesh's greater daemons who lead Slaanesh's demonic and mortal followers but some have actually looked to venerating Archaon as their replacement deity.

The release of the first Daughter of Khaine battletome revealed that Slaanesh has been trapped in the void space between Ulgu (Realm of Shadows) and Hysh (Realm of Light) by the collective work of [[Tyrion]] and [[Teclis]] - now gods of Hysh, [[Malekith|Malerion]] - god of Ulgu, and [[Morathi]]. There the elf gods are slowly taking back the elf souls the Chaos god devoured after the End Times, reforging them to their liking, while Slaanesh is trapped in a position that will make it impossible for him to escape (in theory). That is, unless Morathi cast a spell to get more souls than it was initially planned for her to receive, a spell that would weaken the chains that are keeping Slaanesh trapped, which of course she did. Now Slaanesh is ever so slowly getting further from Hysh and closer to Ulgu, which enabled Slaanesh's followers to learn where he was. The only things standing in their way are the fact that they can't reach Slaanesh's prison, the aelf gods and their forces. Even then, Slaanesh might eventually be able to free itself.

With the announcement of Realm of Chaos: Wrath and Rapture, it appears GW is ready to bring Slaanesh back to the 40k and AoS universes, along with a (daemonic) host of new models. And this did come to pass... Though it isn't as grand as many would have hoped. It has been revealed that the 66 chains holding Slaanesh (real subtle, GW) can be broken by certain depraved or powerful acts, ie, an excess of anger from Khorne, or a Stormhost turning on the people they protect (which did happen and was engineered by Slaanesh taking a leaf from Tzeentch's book). Having broken a handful of the chains Slaanesh cast illusions to prevent the elves from discovering this, and if the majority of chains get shattered Slaanesh will be strong enough to break the rest. If Slaanesh ever did escape, he would immediately try and engulf all of Ulgu and Hysh, securing two whole realms and thereby winning the great game though Khorne would object violently, as would Archaon. However, Archaon still needed Slaanesh and was actively tracking down the trapped god. Archaon eventually succeeded at finding Slaanesh and started working to free him, though Slaanesh's sass vexed Archaon. It would've worked eventually, but Archaon had a vision of the Nighthaunt and Bonereapers taking the Shyish realmgate and attacking the Varanspire. Though Archaon was pissed, since he knew the elf gods would move Slaanesh's prison and tighten security after this, he abandoned Slaanesh and went back to the Allpoints.

But now Slaanesh is a mommy/daddy! During Morathi's ritual for godhood, Slaanesh took advantage of it and emitted a stream of saliva (more likely some ''other'' bodily fluid that begins with "S") that gained sentience. The entity followed Morathi out of Slaanesh's prison, and flew through the skies across Ulgu before crashing to the ground. The Godseekers followed it to the point of impact, and over time thousands of Hedonites gathered. There the entity, known only as The Newborn, took on a form so beautiful and terrible that many who looked upon it died and spoke to Hedonites. It eventually became two demigods called Dexcessa and Synessa, who are filling in for Slaanesh until he/she is freed from Uhl-Gysh.

== Followers ==
[[File:Slaanesh Banners.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Slaaneshi banners.]]
Slaanesh attracts mortal followers from those seeking to become charismatic and popular, but instead corrupts them to become [[Chris-Chan|colossal perverts]]; alternatively, she may attract followers from those who are already [[Ultramarines|colossal perverts]], and corrupt them to become more charismatic and popular. [[Just as planned]].

Alternatively, Slaanesh sometimes finds those in the mortal realm with far more looks than brains to approach and gives them everything they could ever want because she tells them that they simply deserve it, with nothing expected in return...other than them turning into a collossal egotistical hedonist with no sense of responsibility, right and wrong, or empathy as they fuck over creation on whim or for the lulz due to the ultimate entitlement complex possible.

Slaanesh and Khorne actually compete for the same pool of followers more often than you'd think, which is part of his hatred for it. A good rule of thumb is this: if a warrior wants to be the ''best'', gets his thrills from making that perfect shot, that perfect move, [[/v/|that perfect 360 noscope,]] to [[powergamer|hone his or her skills the sharpest they can ever be]], or debasing their foes, they're Slaaneshi...even if they don’t want to be. If the thrill lies in just killing people-- the pure joy of murder-- and the skill is just a way of facilitating that, they're Khornate. Slaaneshi types also get off on the sensory overload rather than actual killing or even pain, like the Emperor's Children who get carved up by Raven Guard and won't fight back because the feeling of lightning claws dicing them up is too damn blissful. [[Troll|They also get off on the reactions they get from others]]-- for example, the loyalist who Lucius tricks into slaughtering his own men. These are things that Khorne can’t stand, because Khorne has standards. Slaanesh takes those standards, throws them out the window, follows them out the window and murderfucks them with its arms pumping wildly.

When it come to more "social" followers, Slaanesh competes with Tzeentch, as followers of both are known for being silver-tongued manipulative dicks with a huge hard-on for power. Here the difference lies in that Slaaneshi followers seek power for their own gain, usually through charismatic speeches and the like, while Tzeenchians often have more altruistic goals or are more interested in the process of gaining power than actually getting it, intentionally raising the challenge to impossible level just to feed their ambitions. Tzeentch followers are quite notable for being dicks, not evil monsters (...usually, also barring daemons). Other than being egotistical trolls they're pretty normal people. The 'huge hard-on' part is also much more [[Heresy|literal]] in Slaanesh's case. However Tzeentch has realized that since personal gain is inevitable when scheming, Slaanesh still wins, so Tzeentch hates them too.

Apart from [[AIDS|the obvious]], Slaanesh and Nurgle rarely have any interaction. There was the matter of the [[Isha|qt Eldar waifu]] Slaanesh wanted to keep for [[/d/|some]] [[rape|after-party]] [[FATAL|entertainment]], but since Nurgle is a fa/tg/uy at heart he couldn't resist claiming her for himself. <s>But they're mostly over that</s> Slaanesh is over it, Nurgle is not. Otherwise, their domains are just too different that they don't overlap all that much. Those who are ambitious and feel they deserve better choose Slaanesh, while those who give up or accept their lot fall into Nurgle's open, sweaty arms. Conflict occurs, but love of the self and love of others aren't as mutually exclusive as the desire to destroy and the desire to create, or a demand for the spotlight against careful orchestration. That being said Nurgle is still not fond of them-- mainly due to the aforementioned Eldar waifu.

[[File:Slaaneshi Forces.JPG|thumb|right|500px|Slaaneshi forces in their realm.]]

Slaanesh units are:
* '''[[Daemonettes]]''', hideous crab-clawed hermaphrodites or seductive scythe-clawed elf-girls depending on which fluff you choose to believe, fa/tg/uys love Daemonettes and spend much time eagerly awaiting the drawfags to provide them with moar heresy. Some fluff seems to suggest that they're hot elf girls until they decide it's time to rip your face off, at which point they become something more akin to the BDSM glam-rock black-eyed lobster women seen in the current models. Moreover, they're supposedly attractive to the beholder (though these are often xenophobic assholes and thus only consider themselves beautiful) - this means that it is very likely that their appearance is entirely subject to the individual desires of whomever is perceiving them. This is represented by their hermaphroditic/androgynous appearance, supposedly rendering them attractive regardless of preference or sexuality. Their monstrous nature is a juxtaposition of slender sensuality and horrible, flesh-tearing daemonic claws. Like many Daemons, their appearance is supposed to be highly varied, which is never represented in the models unless you combine all the old and new, modify heavily, and use [[Raging Heroes|proxies]] randomly. Daemonettes are created by Slaanesh's waking thoughts, popping into existence as she contemplates trolling Khorne, destroying a civilization from within, or getting off.
* '''[[Seekers of Slaanesh]]''', Daemonettes mounted upon [[Steeds of Slaanesh]] which are the mix of an aardvark and a raptor [[dinosaur]]; fast and lots of attacks for not much points, prone to dying in a hail of arrow/bolter fire.
* '''[[Fiends of Slaanesh]]''', large creatures that look like a bizarre cross between an aardvark and a scorpion with rows of breasts, these are created when Slaanesh dreams (because apparently Chaos Gods sleep). They're basically if a Daemonette and a Seeker had a child.
* '''[[Seeker Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', hard hitting unit/squad-wipe models, this is whom you call for when you need that pesky [[tarpit]] removed. Right now. From other end of the board. Be cautious though, these things need protection like grimoire and preferrably invisibility,or at least [[Distraction Carnifex|target mitigation]] to live long enough to do their job since they are big targets with juicy 10 armor all round. Also never ever position yourself so that the enemy could have even remote chance of charging these things: even squad of retarded [[Tau|fire warriors]] or some [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Spearmen]] can take these chariots down in melee if they get the charge. These things live and die by the hammer of wrath attacks, use them accordingly. Also comes in the "Exalted Seeker Chariot" variant, which is literally just a larger Seeker Chariot crewed by higher ranked Daemonettes.
* '''[[Hellflayer Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', what happens when you combine enough Chariots to make Daemonettes literally [[/d/|dripping]] with excitement at being in battle.
* '''[[Keepers Of Secrets]]''', Slaanesh's Greater Daemons, like a Daemonette on steroids, ecstasy and Viagra. Created intentionally from Slaanesh's own darkest thoughts and desires, rather than the Daemonettes/Seekers/Fiends which are created passively, each is radically different (even though there's only been three different models, one of which is long out of production). Geniuses capable of turning entire armies to their side, or destroying civilizations. The default leaders of almost any Slaaneshi army, unless lead by a...
* '''[[Daemon Prince]]''', a human (with [[Dechala|one Elf]] as the exception) so devout to Slaanesh that they managed to become a Daemon. In Fantasy this is usually, but not always, a Warriors of Chaos Champion who made the perilous journey of getting not to little or too much attention while in her service.

=== 40k ===
* '''[[Chaos Space Marines]]''', the traitor marines of the [[Emperor's Children|third legion]] worship Slaanesh exclusively, as do warbands such as the Angels of Ecstasy and the Flawless Host. They also make up a large chunk of the Black Legion, as the Children of Torment.
** '''[[Noise Marines]]''', the specialist traitors dedicated to Slaanesh, akin to Khorne's [[Berserkers]], Nurgle's [[Plague Marines]] or Tzeentch's [[Thousand Sons]]. Aural-focused traitors who specialise in using [[Sonic Weaponry]] because the cacophony is the only thing that can register on their jaded senses anymore. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berghain Can be found IRL also.]

=== Fantasy ===
* '''[[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Druchii]]''': The Warhamer Fantasy evil Elves who are the highest ranking worshipers of Slaanesh, who they call Shornaal, in the [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Cult Of Pleasure]]. In most of the games history (4 editions out of 8 total, the first two having virtually no story whatsoever), Dark Elves had their origin in their Queen [[Morathi]] being the high priestess of Slaanesh, who corrupted her [[Malekith|son]] and about half the Elf race. While most Dark Elves torture and kill in the name of [[Khaine]], Morathi lead a cult of Chaos Elves and regularly allied with other Slaaneshi factions (other than Beastmen, because Morathi kept [[Harpies|her own]] as pets and shits on all others like a good Chaos character should). In later editions, Chaos Elves were retconned away into worshipers of [[Atharti]], [[Hekarti]], and [[Ereth Khial]], three Elven Slaanesh-expy gods, in order to redo the Dark Elf faction as evil Elves who ally with other Elves in the interest of mutual survival instead of evil Elves who just want to watch the world burn while a slave who's skin has been torn off gives them oral. This choice split many fans, some asking why Elves should worship Slaanesh when they have Khaine instead of Khorne, others asking why they worship Khaine when Khorne is better.
* '''[[Warriors of Chaos]]''': Not-Vikings/Mongols who live in the desolate north of Warhammer Fantasy and fight against each other when not raiding the rest of the world. The closer to the [[Warp Gates]] they are, the more like living Daemons while the furthest south are generally only concerned with survival and not offending gods.
* '''[[Beastmen]]''': Rapist omnivorous (in every sense of the word) animal-mutants that infest the world. Beastmen serve all of Chaos, some serve specific gods more than others but few serve one entirely. Live to literally and canonically shit on civilization and order. Ironically treated like shit by all of the rest of Chaos. Slaanesh, in keeping with the trend, allows his followers to fuck their women and drink their wine.
*'''Hellstriders''': Warriors of Chaos mounted upon Seeker mounts. Unlike most Chaos Gods, who give daemonic mounts as rewards for their best followers, Slaanesh (or Keepers of Secrets in Age of Sigmar given Slaanesh's imprisonment) gives out Seekers to the weak-willed and lazy looking for a quick path to power. Those who fall for this trap find that although they gain power, they also gain a crippling addiction to the souls of their enemies that quickly results in them losing all pleasure outside of killing. If a Hellstrider is unable to kill, they will quite literally die from withdrawal.

=== [[Age of Sigmar]] ===
* '''Lord of Pain''': BDSM-freak Chaos Lords who are obsessed with giving and receiving pain. Not only does their high pain tolerance make them almost Nurgle-level tough, but they can even reflect their pain back to their enemies.
* '''Shardspeaker of Slaanesh''': Slaaneshi sorcerers who use their magical mirrors to force their enemies to submit to their most shameful hidden desires.
* '''Myrmidesh Painbringers''': The warrior elite of the Hedonites. Myrmidesh Painbringers are unusually chosen for their ability to withstand temptation, denying all carnal pleasures for a single minded focus on perfecting combat and ensuring their enemies die in the most beautiful and painful ways possible.
* '''Symbaresh Twinsouls''': Trying to be a disciplined aescetic warrior while being surrounded by perverted freaks is hard. So it isn't suprising that some Myrmidesh find themselves unable to keep up their eternal No-Nut November and fall off the deep end, allowing their souls to be possessed by daemons. Expectedly, this fusing of daemon and mortal blood makes the Twinsouls a favored unit of [[Syll'Esske]].
* '''Blissbarb Archers''': The dregs of Hedonite warbands excluded from the rush of melee combat. They coat their arrows in the eponymous Blissbarb poison that’s one part aphrodisiac and another part paralyzing agent.
* '''Blissbarb Seekers''': When the aforementioned Archer gets their first taste of steel cutting their skin (and lives to tell about it), they’re likely to become addicted to this feeling and seek to claim a Seeker as their mount in order to chase after this exquisite sensation.
* '''Slickblade Seekers''': Elite Hellstriders with a nasty jealous streak against anyone who dares to steal the killing blow from them. They ride on the unique Exalted Seeker of Slaanesh rather than the stock variant.
* '''Slaangor Fiendbloods''': [[Slaangor]]s are back baby! The shock troopers of the Hedonite hosts, they are venerated by other Slaaneshi followers as physical avatars of the Dark Prince.

==Potential semi-retcon of Slaanesh in 40k==
With the release of "Rise of the Ynnari: Wild Rider" we now have daemons of Slaanesh making an appearance during the [[War in Heaven]]? Now this could be just a case of timey wimey Warp shenanigans but it could also be an indication of something else! What if Slaanesh's "birth" was actually more akin to a rebirth of something far older; the original sin if you were.

It is known that even before the Fall agents of Slaanesh were already at large in the galaxy and actively seeking to bring it into being. If Slaanesh did indeed have a presence all the way back in the War in Heaven then perhaps it has always been there, seeking a way to return, as opposed to beginning to gestate within the Empyrean during the conflict itself.

Slaanesh isn't all about sex, [[Drug|drugs]] and more sex, but actually fits all of the seven deadly sins rather well: [[/d/|Lust]], [[RAGE|Wrath]], [[Blood Ravens|Greed]], [[Perturabo|Envy]], [[Giles|Gluttony]], [[Lazy Marines|Sloth]] and [[Cato Sicarius|Pride]] all fall under Slaanesh's domain; each of which play key roles in the other God's spheres of influence also. Of course these are taken to their extremes, as is Slaanesh's trade mark, but even the other Chaos Gods are extremes in their own way, and though they are all placed above the Dark Prince in terms of power they all may "fear" the influence that Slaanesh has the potential to hold over them and are very wary that the Dark Prince may eventually eclipse them all in power.

The War in Heaven is essentially the event(s) that created "Hell" in 40k as many races with a presence in the warp fought and died in the conflict, so it makes sense that there must have been an "original Satan"-like figure as well. Of course, this could be looking too much into this and talking out of our collective arse, but what with Slaanesh in [[Age of Sigmar]] no longer being counted amongst the Four, it opens up a lot of possibilities for when the Dark Prince does eventually return.

==The Wandering Knight in the Palace of Slaanesh==

(AKA [[Kaldor Draigo]] becomes a sleeper agent. Probably. Other things are possible, but this would slap down the Mary Sue, so really, why argue?)

While the other Chaos Gods rarely welcome intruders to their lands within the immaterium, Slaanesh loves to tempt visitors to his unnatural domain, and those that dare enter the Lord of Pleasure's territory risk becoming trapped in its warped delights for eternity.

Slaanesh's realm is divided into six domains, arranged in concentric rings about the Palace of Pleasure. Each of these is a celebration of Slaanesh's desires, and while they might be mistaken for paradises, nothing in the lands of the Dark Prince is as it seems. An intruder can only reach the Palace of Pleasure, in the very heart of Slaanesh's territory, by passing through all six of the circles-- an act of will beyond most souls, both mortal and demonic. One amongst the mortal visitors to his realm still looms large in the memory of Slaanesh, however-- a wandering knight of the Adeptus Astartes whose resolve was as strong as silvered adamantium.

The first circle the knight pushed through was richly appointed beyond the dreams of kings. Mountains of stacked gold reached towards rainbow mosaics of gemstones in the marble vaults high above; glittering ingots and diamonds beyond count littered the ground. The knight marched past many a starving wretch attempting to count the innumerable gold coins, their sallow faces twisted with mounting greed until their piles toppled, and, weeping, they had to start over again. At every corner of the crossroads stood gilded statues, some of beautiful Slaanesh, others of Daemons and mortals trapped in blissful ecstasy. The trails in the diamond dust underfoot betrayed the fact that the statues were once flesh and blood. The knight had left notions of material wealth long behind, and he strode on without touching a single coin.

Crunching his way across a beach of golden teeth, the knight came to the shores of a vast lake of dark wine. The lake was dotted with pallid islands formed from the backs of giants, each linked by criss-crossing bridges. The backward hands of each giant held up a table that groaned under the weight of a lavish feast. There, he saw mortal men gorging themselves on the banquet, wide-eyed and desperate in their hunger as others frantically tried to gulp down the lake itself. The bloated and the obese moaned in pain as they crammed ever more food into their wine-stained mouths. The knight pressed on, distaste twisting his features as he passed the grisly remains of those who had consumed so much that they had physically burst apart.

The wanderer made his way through fields of golden light and soft hay, where lissome maidens and beautiful youths frolicked near-naked in the hallucinogenic musk of the lithe beasts that cavorted with them. The faces and fertile forms of the dancers were impossibly sensual, moulded to the perfect desire of the heart. The knight held his breath and closed his eyes, for though mortal pleasures were forbidden to his order, part of him was still a man. The crooning nymphs gathered around the knight, stroking his silvered armour and whispering of the sweet carnal pleasures they would give him, but he yielded not. The severed limbs and heads that lay underfoot spoke of the truth behind the honeyed lies. Eyes shut, he cut down the daemonette seductresses around him one after another, letting revulsion guide his shining blade.

After fighting his way through the feminine contours of the foothills ahead, the knight emerged onto a balcony where he was greeted by roars of adulation and approval. An army of Space Marines so vast its number was beyond counting awaited before him on an endless plain, listening in fevered anticipation of his commands for conquest. Planetary governors nodded in obsequious anticipation, and the High Lords of Terra smiled up at him from smaller balconies of their own, motioning him to speak. The knight recognised one of the rulers from his own mortal life, and stood before him, looking deep into the Philosopher-King's eyes. Behind the mask of power and self-assurance, he saw eternal, nagging paranoia, gnawing suspicion and hidden doubts that were acid to the soul. The knight shook his head sadly and walked away.

Wearied by his ordeals, the wanderer strode on through a mesmerising woodland paradise, its maze of pathways thick with flowers and heavy with thorns. The gentle, fragrant breeze whispered to the knight of past glories, reminding him of the executions he had performed in the Emperor's name. Mirrored pools reflected the knight as a shining saint, his face serene but his sword bloodied as he artfully carved apart rank after rank of red-skinned Daemons. The warrior turned away, troubled. In the distance, he could make out tortured figures staring intently into mirror pools of their own, each held immobile by the undergrowth as whispering thorns insinuated themselves into their flesh. The wanderer turned his mind to the humility of the cell he once called home. As he did so, the path through the maze writhed and straightened out before him. So the knight trudged on.

An endless beach stretched away from the knight, and heavenly choirs sung soothing lullabies as the perfumed sea lapped at the fortress walls of his mind. The wanderer's bones cried out for rest, even if only for a moment. The warmth of the golden sun above calmed his soul, and the tide began to erode his will. His tired eyes could barely stay open, but his vision was still clear enough to see the horrible truth: the bone-white sand was made from the remains of those who had rested here and fallen into a coma of blissful indolence. His resolve hardened, the knight strode on toward the shimmering palace in the distance.

It was there, beneath the elegant spires, that the wanderer came before almighty Slaanesh. Statuesque and divinely glamorous, the deity visited him in the form of a young man possessed of an androgynous beauty, clean-limbed and fresh with the vigour of youth. The knight unsheathed his rune-etched sword and made to strike him down. To his horror, he found that he could not, for the god-prince was disarming in his innocence and utterly beguiling in his manner.

Even the purest flame can be extinguished by the tide. In that single moment of doubt, the wanderer was lost. He knelt, bowing his head at last, and a single touch of the being's glowing sceptre on each shoulder sealed his fate for eternity.

== Facts ==
[[File:Nope.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Alright, who's next for "Purifying"?]]
* Though Khorne stans and /tg/ will deny it, Slaanesh is secretly the strongest chaos god.
* [[Ynnead]] is secretly Slaanesh
*[[Sanguinius]] is jealous of Slaanesh because they are the only one more fabulous than hi-{{BLAM}}
* Slaanesh wants to fuck the Emperor, but every time they try, the Big E psychically bitch-slaps them, destroys all their sex toys and sex slaves and breaks their hands so they can't fap for a while.
* Slaanesh knows that you can't spell happiness without penis.
** Slaanesh is dyslexic.
***Slaanesh also knows that you can't spell dyslexic without sex
* The title of Slaanesh's greatest mortal champion is owned by Shädman''(ayyyyy)''
* Slaanesh is bitching over the fact how their only representation in the DoW series was the [[Emperor's Children]] paint scheme. And they aren't even Slaaneshi like, they're just a generic chaos army. Although, they did grant favor to Eliphas for smashing a ton of soulstones. (And their colours aren't even correct.)
**However, concerning stated above, the developers have added noise marines for Dawn of war 2: Retribution. This has made Slaanesh quite happy. However, he/she/it is still <s>pissed off of not getting enough representation</s> OFFENDED BY THIS SILENCE, considering Nurgle gets Plague Champion hero, the Plague Marine Tier 2 unit, and the Epic Great Unclean One daemon, Khorne then gets the Khornate Chaos Lord, Bloodletters and Bloodcrushers, while Tzeentch gets the Sorcerer hero, has the most effective upgrade for the basic CSM squad (Warpfire bolts make everything in front of them shit brix and was flat out broken in earlier versions of its introduction), and all of the Anti-armor upgrades, while they only get a single unit that frankly eclipsed by either Plague Marines or generic Havocs with an autocannon.
* Charlie Sheen is their first true Daemon Prince (though he was recently diagnosed with HIV which resulted from his sexcapades, so looks like he could swing towards [[Nurgle]]. But just like [[Fulgrim]] his body probably needs to be destroyed first before he can ascend). It was nearly Malcolm Mcdowell, on account of Mcdowell's filmography including two of Slaanesh's favorite films (see below) and Mcdowell's hedonistic younger years; before Charlie had even reached puberty, Mcdowell was already far into sex and drugs both in his films and real-life. But as he got older, Mcdowell turned away from hedonism and cleaned himself up. Other contenders include Gene Simmons and Tila Tequila.
* Slaanesh gets beaten up/off by all of the other Chaos Gods on a fairly regular basis, and gets off on it.
* If it exists, [[PROMOTIONS|Slaanesh faps/shlicks/shlaps to it]].
* Tzeentch likes to trick Slaanesh into fighting Khorne to get his daily dose of lulz. Slaanesh always loses these fights pretty badly; and each time, Slaanesh takes it pretty hard. [[C.S.Goto|And this pleases them.]]
* Slaanesh is secretly depressed that have no friends. Khorne is a dick, and Tzeentch is the biggest dick there is. Nurgle is nice, but Slaanesh can't get over the fact that he cucked them. ("Can't get over it" in both a [[PROMOTIONS|positive]] and [[RAGE|negative]] sense.)
** Also, Nurgle has ''all'' the STDs, which would make him Slaanesh's natural enemy out in the wild. Isha's immunity to all diseases is better than any protection, which is a pretty substantial reason why Slaanesh liked her.
* Slaanesh gets bullied by all the other Chaos Gods constantly because none of them like him/her/it. This does not upset the balance, though, because Slaanesh likes BDSM where they being bullied and tortured by the other Chaos Gods. He/she lets them do it, and could probably beat them if they tried.
* Slaanesh is Tzeentch's second favorite victim for his hijinks, because it's oh so easy to string them along with offers of porn, whores, BDSM and/or drugs.
* Khorne [[Rip and Tear|regularly tears off Slaanesh's arms]] and beats them over the head with them (Again, this inadvertently makes Slaanesh orgasm, which is why she/he ''lets'' Khorne does it).
* Slaanesh was doping when they killed the Eldar Gods, they couldn't really beat them all without using performance enhancing drugs. (at least that what Khaine, a god of war and destruction, keeps insisting when ever someone asks him why he got both figuratively and possibly literally raped by a god(ess) of sex drugs and rock'n'roll)
** Slaanesh is always on drugs (Except psychiatric medication, they kill sex drive down to the very biology)
* Slaanesh attempted to fight the Nightbringer in a desperate attempt to win back some street cred, they got their left boob cut off for their trouble. It hurt so bad/good that it retroactively cut off the left boobs of all of Slaanesh's greater daemons and that's why they all only have one boob (or six). Given the new backstory and their time of birth, this means that Slaanesh lost against a Necron Pokémon.
* Slaanesh is a great patron of the arts. Their favourite films include:
** Hellraiser: Slaanesh's number one film. In fact, they took a lot of inspiration on many of the movie's aspects... <strike>That is, of course, a lie. They actually ripped off Hellraiser.</strike> Hellraiser ripped them off. Slaanesh had a cameo appearance in the sequel dressed as a lozenge.
** A Serbian Film: Slaanesh's second favorite movie. They already started putting NEWBORN PORN into her/his daily schedule.
** Pink Flamingos: Slaanesh's third favourite movie, which is actually a film adaptation of Slaanesh's journal. Slaanesh especially enjoyed the depictions of their hobbies (including bestiality, scat fetishes and vore), that the movie quotes them directly (see Divine's quote above).
** A Clockwork Orange: One of Slaanesh's favorite movies; not so much the book it was adapted from as it was less about sex and more a commentary on the nature of morality. (Although Slaanesh faps/shlicks to commentaries on morality too.) They like to jerk-off at many of the movie's aspects, but more notably Malcolm Mcdowell's sexy face. They also find the death of one of the characters totally hilarious, due to the fact that said character was killed by a giant rocking ceramic phallus straight to the face. '''BLOWJOB OF DEATH !!! LULZ !!!''' Unbelievable and improbable? Well here's evidence to prove it: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbRSag-L-GQ Giant rocking ceramic phallus attack !!!].
** The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Mostly because of Tim Curry (who is actually Slaanesh).
** Legend: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3J91bPrW9A Also because of Tim Curry, who practically plays a daemon prince of Slaanesh].
** Caligula: The movie written by Gore Vidal for copious amounts of sex, incest and Malcolm Mcdowell as the title character. Slaanesh's favorite scenes are when Caligula engages in an incestuous threesome with his sister and his fiance, and the giant orgies on stage (don't watch the latter if you have a weak stomach - there's a real snake in one scene and [[FATAL|you don't want to know what the woman does with it]]).
** Eyes Wide Shut. Slaanesh has heard the film described as "Just Artsy Porn", but doesn't get the criticism. It's Art and it's Porn. What's not to love?
** Event Horizon: A documentary of how he/she/it is directly responsible for fucking up humanity's first venture into the Warp.
** High Rise: Some say it holds the essence of the one time Slaaneshi and Khaine got jiggy with it.
** Salo or 120 days of Sodom: Slaanesh liked it better when they thought it was real and not just special effects.
** The Stuff: A movie about the time some railroad workers found lakes of Slaanesh's jizz at a quarry and marketed it as dessert food due to its properties, leading to numerous shenanigans and giving Slaanesh much lulz that they never learned where it came from.
* Slaanesh enjoys the Song of Ice and Fire books due to the copious amounts of incest and midget sex and the TV adaption Game of Thrones because they added sex scenes and casting several porn stars on top of this.
* Slaanesh's favorite band is GWAR, because everything with them is sex, drugs, and rock and roll in excess, even covering their audience in jizz, blood, random chemicals, and mixtures of all three, and inciting massive blood orgies constantly.
* Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams is also suspected to be one of the early influences of Slaanesh in human music culture, the singer suspected to be one of his/her/its avatars.
* Slaanesh gets ALL the pussy, as well as all the dick, cloca, ovipositor, stamen, pistil, and pilus.
* Slaanesh tried to seduce all of the remaining C'tan at once. Slaanesh ended up getting the pleasure sensors in its brain lobotomized. S/he got off on this.
* Slaanesh found Captain Flashheart so magnificent in Blackadder that they created a daemon prince in his image. Woof woof!
* Despite psychic powers supposedly being Tzeentch's specialty, Slaanesh's tend to be the really [[cheese|cheesy]] ones. 3rd edition had a minor power called Siren, which forbids the caster from being shot at in the opponent's shooting phase (it's just as broken as it sounds). 4th edition has Lash of Submission, which the Chaos Marine tactics cover the usage of (in a nutshell, GW admitted they didn't realize how good it turned out to be and it was the most used on daemon princes even though the +1I from the required MoS wasn't very useful). And what about 6th edition? While Tzeentchian sorcerers focus on pwning the shit our of enemy with (mediocre) mind bullets and warp-beams, Slaaneshi ones pack a whole lot of cheesy buffs and debuffs, which makes them so much better. Similar deal in Fantasy, where Slaanesh, some of the time, offers a better selection of magic than Tzeentch.
*Slaanesh is the only entity in existence who listens to the My Dad Wrote A Porno podcast purely for erotic purposes. He/she/it cannot understand for the life of him/her/it why no one else finds cervix-grabbing sexy.
** Still, ]they fap/shlick/???-PROFIT at this.
*Mentioning the names of Vint Cerf and Bob Kahn gives Slaanesh a massive boner/lady-boner. Though Slaanesh didn't have a hand in inventing the internet, three guesses why Slaanesh loves the internet, and the first two don't count. Mentioning Hugh Hefner also has a similar effect.
* As a patron of the arts, Slaanesh has many favorite authors, so can't pick one. Having said that, Marquis de Sade is a strong contender.
* Considering that Slaanesh is about excess, there might be several other types of Marines besides Noise Marines we don't know about:
** Smell Marines, who use gasses to do whatever they wish through peoples noses, whether it be death, insanity, paralysis, suggestibility, 'seeing colors', and so on, always permanent brain damage. This is a way to get Nurgle followers to convert.
**Sight Marines, whose weapons create wondrously intricate bloom and color effects of equally detailed and aesthetically (only to a branch of masochists masochists can't stand) pleasing. This is a way to get Khorne followers to convert.
** Touch Marines, who know the nervous system better than a Bene Gesserit, able to bring the mightiest warriors down with the right jab in the right spot, consumed with uncontrollable orgasms.
**Taste Marines, think about the spiciest thing you've ever eaten, now imagine that a million times stronger, we are talking Exterminatus level of scovilles here, literally melt your god damn tongue off heat. It's like that only worse. They would use super pepper spray that can literally eat through armor.
*Also, a former Tzeentch follower gone Slaaneshi would be incredibly dangerous: Tzeentch followers understand indeterminism (from a very distorted, cynical perspective) and also see knowledge as power per circumstance to win where force, charisma and economics cannot. A devout Slaaneshi seeks to experience everything. Thus a former Tzeentchian, already well read on enough to convince themselves they experienced it, or well read enough to steal peoples experiences, who became a hedonist addict as well would be left with one desire: to be omnipotent and thus be able to go beyond the limits of mortal imaginings in pursuit of understanding and experience for the sake of understanding and experience.
*Slaanesh tried to get in Khorne's head by seeking to understand the appeal of skulls. Instead Slaanesh got bored and invented the idea of skullfucking. <br/> '''{{Blam|DAMN IT SLAANESH WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SKULL THRONE THIS IS DISGUSTING!! IT'S EVERYWHERE!! IT'S OOZING OUT OF EVERY EYE SOCKET!!! I'M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO SIT ON THAT AGAIN AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!}}'''
**Khorne secretly loves it when Slaanesh does this, because now he has even more of an excuse to go out and collect enough skulls to replace it.
*[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Slaanesh Patrols will skull fuck your family.]]
* [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|If you masturbate with barbed wire, a daemon of slaanesh will be summoned, and you will be exterminatus-ed]]
* Slaanesh secretly wants Khorne. S/he's upset that the 'Special K' hates her/him/it.
**However, if Slaanesh ever did create a copy of him/her/their/itself, then the two would immediately try to murderfuck each other, in a kinky simulacrum of Highlander. This would apply to all of the main ruinous powers, <s>apart from</s> including Nurgle, <s>who would simply hug his</s> whose female double <s>and then get to work with said double on a particularly virulent strain of super aids/crotch rot.</s> would get jealous of Isha and conspire with Slaanesh to get rid of that home-wrecking skank.
*Slaanesh is the patron <s>god</s> <s>goddess</s> deity of bonobos (look them up).
*Slaanesh's ''only'' criticism of the Cats movie is that there are no visible genitals.
* Slaanesh #fuckedPalpatine.

== Gallery ==
{{heresy}}
{{promotions}}
{{/d/}}
<gallery>
Klaher-baklaher-slanesh.jpg
Image:Slaaneshfaggot.jpeg|A real-life worshipper of Slaanesh.
Image:Slaaneshi.JPG|Slaanesh followers DO COCAINE!!!!!!!!
Image:Daemonette commisssar.JPG|That's a real [[commissar]], just look at the [[hat]].
Image:Daemonette02.JPG|DDaemonette
Image:Daemonette01.JPG|It's not furry, you can totally fap to it.

Image:Daemonette.JPG
Image:Slaaneshi2.JPG|Why it's good to be Slaanesh follower.
Image:Daemonxmas copy.jpg|Slaanesh can be festive as well.
Image:Lurvemudkipz.JPG|Evidence that it is possible that some [[pokémon]] are susceptible to Chaotic influence.

Image:Slaaneshi mudkips.JPG|Oh god. ;_;
Image:Slaanesh trainer.jpg|There is no excuse or explanation for this.
Image:Slaaneshijack copy.jpg|This image can be used to improve a bad thread.
Image:Irresistible.jpg|Simply Irresistible

Image:Dranon5.jpg|Mr Culexus' interpretation of Slaanesh. Notice the massive bulge in the crotch that's bigger than it's boobs.
Image:Not_too_abysmal_by_Mr_Culexus.jpg|Love can bloom in the galaxy of Transylvania
Image:1271157389405.jpg|What a Slaaneshi raptor would look like by non-GW canon.
Image:daemonette_minerva.png|Who else did you think furries worshiped?

Image:Slaanesh_LAWL.jpg|LAWL
Image:Trapmarine.jpg|Slaanesh Chaos Marines come with a little "extra"...
Image:Trapmarine_BW.jpg|... which may not be so "little".
Image:Daemonette_with_seeker_mount.jpg|She "rides" it... if you know what I mean... no seriously, zoom in if you don't believe me. Although for your sake you really should take my word for it.

Image:643214 - Daemonette Eldar Warhammer 40k howling banshee warhammer yuliapw.jpg|The more common and usual fate of Eldar.
Image:Slaanesh cosplay 1 by zk87-d2zo47q.jpg|Now 262.71% more real!
Image:Slaanesh Time.jpg|You might be mixing up love and lust.
Image:Slaanesh_miniature_closeup.jpg|Gimme some sugar

Image:Slaanesh+hr giger.jpg|H. R. Geiger is pleased
Image:Slaanesh by zk87-d2z4bpv.jpg|Lashes of Torment!
Image:Slaanesh-153102-SweetAngel.jpg|She Who Thirsts indeed
Image:Khorne-and-Slaanesh.jpg|Khorne is sooo tsundere...
Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated]

Image:Dark_Prince_of_Pleasure_Slaanesh_wfrp.jpg|From the old [[WFRP]] days
Image:MoeSlaanesh.png|How can anyone not want to serve something so utterly <s>adorable</s> heretical?
Image:1419021850273.jpg|Yes, that is a Santa outfit.
Image:Anons_fall_to_Chaos.png|Anon heralds the Age of Strife.
Image:Champion of Slaanesh RL.png| We have the makings of a daemon prince here!
Image:HereticalUseOfChainswords.gif| When you say "Go Fuck Yourself with a Chainsword," Slaanesh will take it literally.
Image:Cultist-chan24.jpg|Slaanesh has improved cultist chan
Image:Wildslaanesh.png|Slaanesh Demon corrupts children
Image:Slaanesh-sorcerer.jpeg|Slaanesh makes the Cenobites from Hellraiser look good.
</gallery>

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever
Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho!
Don't dream it, be it...
Don't dream it, be it...

==See Also==
*[[Azazel]] - The oldest existing [[Daemon Prince]] of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[Shalaxi Helbane]] Slaanesh main [[Keeper of Secrets]] in [[Warhammer 40,000]] and [[Age Of Sigmar]].
*[[Dechala]] - The oldest existing Chaos Champion special character of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[The Masque]] - Slaanesh's former fav fab Daemonette stripper, and current PR rep.
*[[Sigvald]], Slaanesh's favorite not-Caligula/not-Joffrey.
*The [[Emperor's Children]] legion - The largest contingent of sick fucks on this side of the warp. And on that side of the warp.
*[[Fulgrim]] - Primarch of the largest contingent of sick fucks ever.
*[[Fabius Bile|Fabulous Bile]] - What you get by combining a self-obsessed homosexual and Dr. Frankenstein, only this one is played by geriatric [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kane_%28wrestler%29 Glenn Jacobs] instead of young Tim Curry.
*[[Lucius]] - Considered by some as the Sickest of Fucks amongst the living.
*[[Doomrider]] - He does COCAINE!
*[[Miriael Sabathiel]] - The most infamous [[Sisters of Battle|Sister of Battle]] to fall to Slaanesh. Commonly mistaken as the ''only'' Chaos Sister of Battle by people who haven't read [[Ephrael Stern|Daemonifuge]]. Last seen hunting Eldar to give them [[Rape|hugs]].
*[[Codex - Fallen Sororitas]] - An entire homebrew army of Slaaneshi Sisters of Battle.
*[[Daemonette]] - Daemons of Slaanesh. Viewing said content is heretical, in 20 seconds or less after clicking the link, expect a squad of inquisitorial storm troopers to barge-in and blam you to hell.
*[[Reasonable Daemonette]] - Slaanesh's perversion knows no bounds. Hers does, and she respects yours.
*[[Loli D]] - The [[loli]] variant of the Slaaneshi Daemonette. Viewing said content is [[Extra Heresy|extra heretical]]. E-Commissars can and will [[Exterminatus|blam you from your monitor with the utmost prejudice]] if you click on this link.
*[http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Slaanesh's_sacrifice.pdf Slaanesh's Sacrifice] - Some Slaaneshi writefaggotry for the more heretical among you.
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRPIsrxUc_E Rick and Morty's visit to the Realm of Slaanesh]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-gHgcmFB6Q Slaanesh's visit to the Realm of Rick and Morty]
*[https://pastebin.com/5QZMB7nH Excessively Vanilla] - AKA the '''one''' time Slaanesh goes full-on vanilla, including actual marriage, handholding, and under the cover missionary sex for the sole purpose of procreation
{{Template:ChaosGods}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Hedonites of Slaanesh]]