2d4chan - User contributions [en]

C. S. Lewis

2020-06-19T07:21:33Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:8DC8:2517:CC8C:DA28: /* Legacy */

[[Image:CSLewis.JPG|thumb|Right|250px|The second patriarch of modern fantasy]]
'''Clive Staples Lewis''' (better known as "C. S.", "Jack" to his friends), not to be confused with [[C.S. Goto]] (how dare you confuse the two), nor with Lewis Carroll, was [[J. R. R. Tolkien]]'s good friend and another influential early modern fantasy writer. He was also an essayist and a theologian, one of the best of the last century, writing on subjects such as the relationship between science and religion in the modern age, the nature of the afterlife, and [http://scientificintegrity.blogspot.com/2010/04/religion-and-rocketry-by-cs-lewis.html arguing that the existence of aliens wouldn't clash with Christian beliefs.] Almost all of Lewis' works tend to come across as astoundingly well-thought out; many of his more devoted fans would argue that reading his work is like reading the Necronomicon, except it ''increases'' your sanity.

== His Fictional Works ==
*The Space Trilogy
**Out of the Silent Planet (1938)
**Perelandra (1972) (C.S Lewis' favorite book by his own admission)
**That Hideous Strength (1974) (AKA That Hideous Book, according to JRR Tolkien).
*The Chronicles of Narnia (1950-1956)
**The Magician's Nephew (actually written after ''The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe'', but its events take place first)
**The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
**The Horse and His Boy
**Prince Caspian
**The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
**The Silver Chair
**The Last Battle
*The Screwtape Letters
*The Pilgrim's Regress
*The Great Divorce
*Till We Have Faces

== Why He Was Influential ==
With the Narnia series, C. S. Lewis brought to the table the "everything in mythology but the kitchen sink" approach to fantasy writing. Norse Mythology, Greco-Roman Mythology, Judeo-Christian Theology, even modern folklore like Santa Claus got worked in. It's to his everlasting credit that he threw all these things into a blender and came up with something really awesome (even Santa Claus). Basically, if Tolkien gave modern fantasy [[RPG]]s [[Halfling]]s, [[Orc]]s and Dark Lords, Lewis gave it [[Centaurs]], [[Minotaur|Minotaurs]] (and potentially non-evil ones at that), [[Merfolk]], and talking animals. Narnia also included one of the earliest and most logically consistent examples of the "secret magical world parallel to our own" trope. And it is also an early form of the [[Isekai]] genre.

== On His Writing ==
[[Image:NarniaMap.jpg|thumb|Right|300px|A map of Narnia]]
When compared to his friend [[J.R.R. Tolkien]], Lewis was more of a philosopher and theologian than a world-builder. While Tolkien had beliefs and viewpoints which manifested in his writings, they usually came up as background details and a component of greater world building. Lewis, in contrast, wrote his works with the primary intent of arguing a point or presenting an idea rather than creating a fantasy world. This isn't to say that Lewis' writings have poor world-building, it just wasn't as much of a priority for him as having a clear and consistent theme. Although his writings tend to be far more overt with their religious message, it should be noted that they're not written in a [[Cult of the Redemption|judgemental fire-and-brimstone]] style, but more like a neutral-toned fable or philosophy lecture. The Narnia series might basically be about a fantasy land with lion Jesus and ice witch Satan, but it is generally more readable than [[The Lord of the Rings]], as Lewis didn't feel the need to include songs on every other page, or detail the name and lineage of every single person who participated in each battle.

He is also known for The Space Trilogy, which is arguably the earliest example of Christian science fiction (a subgenre that exists but is almost unheard of in mainstream media). The first book ('''Out of the Silent Planet''') is about a man named Ransom being kidnapped and taken to a planet (called Malacandra by its inhabitants, the one we call Mars) where he meets aliens, the angel in charge of Mars under God and learns more about the way the universe works and the situation of Earth. The second book (''Perelandra'') is about Ransom being taken to the planet Perelandra (the one we call Venus, which has a livable atmosphere due to Venus' actual deadly climate being unknown at the time) to stop a demon from recreating The Fall of Man with Venus' equivalent of Adam and Eve. In the third book (''That Hideous Strength'') the main characters Ransom and Mark have to work together against a scientific institute which is actually a front for sinister supernatural forces.

Fun fact: the Space Trilogy makes reference to what would have been the Time Travel trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien, except we never got anything more than unfinished manuscripts. Basically it would have been Tolkien's way of tying in the history of the Lord of the Rings with the known history and medieval legends of today's world. The closest thing we get is ''[[The Silmarillion]]''.

Also of note are Lewis' books about the afterlife, as they were unique... at the time. ''The Screwtape Letters'', for example, is a fictional series of letters written by a demon, Screwtape, to his nephew Wormwood, giving him advice on seducing a man to the ways of [[Heresy|sin]] and [[Chaos|damnation]]. [[Warp|Hell]] isn't depicted as a brutal prison as in Dante's Inferno, but more like a [[Administratum|diabolical bureaucracy]]; where [[Dark Eldar|demons consume human souls as we would consume wine]], and the more evil they are, the finer their vintage. Screwtape gives excellent advice on how to manipulate good intentions into bad deeds, and the book's unusual point of view lends itself to some creative ideas. In particular, the subplot where Wormwood and Screwtape subtly try to undermine the other by reporting them to Hell's [[Inquisition]] while maintaining correspondence is quite entertaining. Suffice to say, it's an excellent read for [[GM|GMs]] wishing to run a particularly [[Tzeentch|cunning or manipulative]] demon.

==Legacy==
C.S Lewis' works have found use in various fields, from the fantasy genre to works outside fiction such as Christian apologetics.

The works have even led to some "follow the leader" style copycats. One such is author Randy Alcorn has "updated" ''Screwtape'' in the books "Lord Foulgrin's Letters", which was meant as a guide against modern evils, but lacked the sophisticated points of Lewis' work and tarred undeserving or controversial targets with the same brush... like [[Dungeons & Dragons]]. American evangelicals are also fond of Lewis' well-poisoning "argument" that Jesus was either insane, a liar, or the Lord - they call this the "trilemma". But hey, at least the evangelicals have totally been winning allies with this stuff, as witness their string of victories in "the culture war" there.

== See Also ==
*[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCw-kYN6wWXWDyp_lB0wnlxw CS Lewis Doodle,] a YouTube channel which animates several of his essays and written works.

[[Category:Writers]]

Warhammer Adventures

2020-06-19T06:34:04Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:8DC8:2517:CC8C:DA28: /* Age of Sigmar */

{{WTF}}
{{Heresy}}
{{HurfDurf}}

{{topquote|Life in the 41st Millennium is hard.|Cavan Scott making the greatest understatement of all time.}}

Warhammer is the [[Daemonculaba|worst]] [[Haemonculi|possible]] [[Marines Malevolent|setting]] for a children's series which could exist even in theory, so of course it now has its own "junior" product line. It makes perfect sense.

Enter '''Warhammer Adventures''', a series of middle-grade (ages 8 to 12) novels published by [[Black Library]] and based on [[Age of Sigmar]] and [[Warhammer 40,000 8th edition]], which were released during February 2019.

Each novel will feature a group of children going on amazing adventures, like in every kids novel ever released. Given that this is a generic plot template expect this to be nothing like the Warhammer we grew up with. The whole series has been described by Black Library sources as "The Grim Darkness of the far future, but with a nightlight on". Black Library have recruited writers with a track record for commercial tie-in fiction and books for children, which is good for children's books like these but not so much in regards to their adhering to canon (at least, that's the current view). While that description also fits [[Dan Abnett]], many fans predict expect high levels of derp instead of quality canon stories - especially when you consider how much of the setting they have to lighten up on to make sure it doesn't scare away any parents. Well, that or the books could all be set in Civilized Worlds, Paradise Worlds, etc. But there's a good reason why the exciting Grimdark fluff almost never happens there unless the war comes: they're boring.

The intial books have apparently sold very well, according to Games Workshop's own social media and book sales tracker Nielsen BookScan.

==Novels==
===Warped Galaxies (40k)===
*''Attack of the Necron'' by [[wikipedia:Cavan Scott|Cavan Scott]]
*''Claws of the Genestealer'' by Cavan Scott
*''Secrets of the Tau'' by Cavan Scott

===Realm Quest (Age of Sigmar)===
*''City of Lifestone'' by <strike>Loki</strike> Tom Huddleston
*''Lair of the Skaven'' by Tom Huddleston
*''Forest of the Ancients'' by Tom Huddleston
*''Flight Of The Kharadron'' by Tom Huddleston

==Characters==
Something you'll notice is that both settings follow a particular set of generic cliche characters: a peace-loving leader, a brash misfit of a brawler, and a prodigal artisan. Who, despite never going past their teenage years, are somehow just as, if not more, proficient as full-grown professionals in their settings. In 40k it can be explained as them being flashed taught like many manufactoria workers are on particularly bad Hive Worlds. With the caveat that doing so causes gradual brain degradation until you're basically a vegetable by your middle age and thrown away like a used battery.

Yep, you're essentially getting the same template used for literally every other book series marketed towards pre-teens. Bear in mind they are from a licensed novel series by professional authors being sold for real money, and not something you dug out of the crusty underbelly of DeviantArt or Fanfiction.net that you read for laughs; on the other hand, [[C.S. Goto|sometimes that's a distinction without a difference.]]
(Because gods forbid they try and introduce warhammer to a younger audience (that's what the Internet is for, especially YouTube))
=== 40k ===

'''Zelia:''' A young daughter of a [[Rogue Trader|galactic explorer]], she [[Heresy|helps her mom dig up ancient alien artifacts]] and [[Derp|hates weapons in a setting where everything that's alien and most things that aren't actively trying to kill you.]] Instead, she believes that the best way to overcome fear is by [[Magnus|learning]]. Voted most likely to be slowly tortured to death by the [[Inquisition]] for seeking out [[Chaos|the truth]]. Either that or Guilliman has her earmarked to become a historitor.

'''Talen:''' The son of an [[Imperial Guard]] officer, Talen decided to run away from home to [[Heresy|avoid military conscription]] and became a hive ganger (so, he ran away from a hard life as a soldier for a harder life as a hooligan constantly look over his shoulder for both the authorities, his family, and his fellow gangers...brilliant). He's fairly aggressive and kind of a brute; however, that is offset by his [[noblebright|loyalty to his friends]]. He carries around a [[miniature|toy soldier]], which is one of the only reminders he has of his older brother who went off to war. All in all, the only character whose preview is not a thinking-emoji level setup, let alone one of [[C.S. Goto|potentially multilasered]] proportions. Expect someone to make a greenstuff version of him as a [[Necromunda]] Juve. It would be ironic if his gang got conscripted by the Imperial Guard anyway, as they are known to do - he just better hope that the Commissar never finds out about the whole conscription-dodging thing (pfft, who are we kidding? His family totally reported him and his gang will be conscripted solely for the Commissar to execute him).

'''Mekki:''' What happens when you cross a [[tech-priest]] with Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. (...so "Young Sheldon"?) He hails from [[Mars]] and is described as an [[Heretek|inventor]], due to his creation of a small robotic swarm that assist him with certain duties. His right arm is paralyzed, so instead of doing the normal, cool Mechanicus thing and replacing it with cybernetics he decides to just build a brace to help him move it. Omnissiah only knows why he wasn't forcefully re-purposed as a [[servitor]] for his blatant tech-heresy yet, especially considering he's from Mars; even on backwater Forge Worlds things like Vorax Automata are shunned and forbidden because of their animalistic intelligence. This goes double as this is post-Great Rift, where Guilliman's protection of Cawl's tech heresies (one of which includes AI-tech) has the AdMech inching closer to another civil war.

'''Fleapit the [[Jokaero]]''': Yes, a frigging techno space-ape is in this book series and it is helping the children. Yes, his name is "Fleapit". Apparently Cavan Scott thought that what 40k really needed to bring in the kiddies was Scooby-Doo.

'''[[Space Marines]]:''' Here as usual. Depicted in [[Primaris Marines|Primary-sue]] armour, so this bright and happy tale is happening post-[[Great Rift]]. Naturally, they're using the [[Ultramarines|Ultrasmurfs]], as they're "[[Matt Ward|bravest of all the heroic Space Marines]]", and not because they're just the most easily recognizable Chapter that gets the most publicity, honest.

'''[[Necrons]]:''' The cold and unfeeling [[Derp|"enslaving tyrants"]] we all know and purge, probably chosen because killing robots is much more family-friendly than shooting at living things, and some of their [[Gauss|primary weapons]] kill cleanly too. Less retarded than it sounds, since Wardcrons have enough variation in their personalities that some random Phaeron keeping Enfleshed as pets makes perfect sense, especially considering [[Trazyn]]'s "collection." Ol' Trollzyn as an evil space collector who traps living beings to keep as exhibits in his space museum would actually make him a pretty good kid-adventure villain (possibly leaving out the eternal agony parts in regards to some of his captives).

=== Age of Sigmar ===

'''Elio:''' Token black kid from the realm of life. His medical skills are "second to none," presumably among his age bracket of a mere 14 years. Obsessive about [[Drycha|plants]], but apparently interested in all critters great and small, up to and including monsters like [[manticore]]s. Also, he's not much of a fighter - because that's not a concern with giant man-eating monsters, right? Basically the embodiment of the gentle giant/pacifist healer trope, in a setting where people like that exist to be fed to Chaos Warriors or Vampires to show the audience how evil they are.

'''Alish:''' A 12-year old from the Realm of Light, who is "restless, inquisitive and highly intelligent" and has the instinctive ability to repair "almost any mechanical device." She also loves inventing and has apparently designed and built everything from clocks to airships, despite being 12. Mary Sue classic. And to make her extra stupid, the one thing she refuses to build is weapons, despite A) walking around with a sodding huge hammer and B) living in the monster-and-barbarian-filled world of AoS where access to weapons can and will save lives. Basically Zelia, but in fantasy.

'''Kiri:''' At fifteen, she seems to be the oldest of the bunch, coming from the realm of metal. Kiri is "as strong and steadfast as steel" who was raised in the barbarian slave camps of Aqshy (because the whole character would probably have been a lot different if it was a Slanneshi warband) where she learned to fight as soon as she could walk. "Somehow this harsh life hasn't made her cruel or resentful" - direct quote, and we're pretty bloody surprised too. She uses a slingshot. She fought in Chaos gladiator pits '''and won''' with a ''slingshot''. Not a [[sling]], which can do some actual damage, a toy slingshot. This is just silly. Before you bring up David from Scripture who fought Goliath, leaving aside the element of divine aid which depends on one's beliefs, at least he fought one giant in a 1-v-1 challenge not several and he had a real weapon; a real weapon that was well known for being able to damage armor and David himself was extremely skilled with a sling due to needing to be for his livelihood.

'''Thanis:''' A 12-year old gal from the realm of Fire. The big sister type of the group who protects her friends.

'''Kreech:''' A cunning Skaven packlord of the clan Quickfang YES YES. An unusual Skaven who has adopted the man-thing's behavior and their ability to be creative, very unusual since most Skaven look down on anything that's not Skaven. Currently scheming with a heretical woman-thing in order to gain more power in the man-thing hierarchy. He also owns a man-thing play-thing called Scratch. YES YES.

'''Scratch:''' A 12-year old from realm of Beast and currently Kreech's plaything; his true name is forgotten. Like how [[Leman Russ]] and [[Lion El'Johnson]] was raised by the wild and had adopted it's behavior, Scratch has adopted Skaven's cunning thinking and has fashion himself to be like one of them.

'''[[Stormcast Eternals]]:''' As they are. Nothing particularly odd or inaccurate in their bio blurb - they even mentioned the whole "died and was reborn" bit.

'''Darkoath Barbarians:''' One of many tribes serving <s>[[Chaos]]</s> [[Derp|the forces of Evil]] (they're probably lumping all non-Order Grand Alliances into one big "bad guys" group, because Order ''totally'' lacks [[Drycha|any]] [[Daughters of Khaine|dark]] [[Idoneth Deepkin|side]]). Plundering, pillaging, enslaving... typical villain stuff. Their name is still less stupid than 99% of what GW Legal's shat out, though.

==Reception==
Initial reception has been [[Skub|polarizing]], to say the least. Many consider this series a futile attempt to dilute the grimdarkness of both Warhammer settings to try and appeal to a younger demographic, with the slim but worrying possibility of the dumbing-down and "modern" approach to writing working its way into the setting proper in a greedy lunge for Daddy's credit card. ([[End Times|It's not like GW isn't known for terrible ideas, after all.]]) Characters hating weaponry, gleefully searching xenotech and running away from conscription in 40k certainly don't give people that much confidence, leading to pointed questions regarding how they would deal with darker groups like Dark Eldar/Elves, Daughter of Khaine, Idoneth Deepkin, Chaos, Undead or Tyranids; when asked, Black Library deflected the question or gave non-answers to the effect of "very carefully." There's also the argument that many kids prefer fantasizing about characters older than them (i.e they hope that they might grow up to be like them), and that by making the protagonists kids, they are invariably just making it corny and unappealing to the very audience they want to attract (as if the protagonists are their age, they already have no chance of becoming them).

It's also inevitable that some parents will catch on to the fact that these kid-friendly adventures actually take place in a universe where the literal gods are embodiment of concepts like genocide and sexual violence. Less abstractly, Warhammer is full of things like [[Dark Eldar|race-wide mandated mass torture]], machines who [[Flayed Ones|wear the flayed and bloody flesh of their foes]], and [[Daemonculaba|horrifically mutated]] [[/pol/|sub-sapient]] [[Skaven|breeding slaves]]. Daddy and Mommy are going to be upset when they realize just what Warhammer is actually like. For once in human history, the parents who just bought their kids something which causes permanent psychological damage will have a valid point when they blame the company that sold it to them. Of course, all the above is moot if GW ends up depicting a comparatively whitewashed version of the setting with most of the nastier parts stripped out or otherwise not alluded to directly, but that still doesn't stop the kids from stumbling over the unabridged versions anyway (and their parents putting two and two together from there).

Defenders argue that this could be an opportunity to flesh out groups and aspects of the setting that often get ignored, showing positive aspects of the galaxy in a setting so focused on grimdark. There's also the possibility of new mini-lines being produced, probably somewhat cheaper than the mainline series to not scare children (or their parents) away, which could help flesh out the more neglected armies, assuming they don't just keep drowning us in Spacesigmarines and Stormhammer shit because that's what Marketing wants to sell. And the most obvious benefit being that parent gamers will be able to introduce their younger children to the setting with age-appropriate material before weening them into the more mature stuff (like it is meant for ages 8-12, older people aren't suppose to like it) thus giving young kids more options.

Considering that GW themselves have said that their ideal demographic is “an intelligent 18 year old,” it's somewhat baffling why they’ve chosen to write for a demographic so young. At best, they should have started with young teens, giving them more room to stay closer to the grimdark of 40k while still being able to pull back. Perhaps their reasoning is that younger kids are easier to sell merchandise to, which is probably true if properties like Skylanders are anything to go by. That being said, we don’t know what’s GW’s long-term strategies are for drawing in and maintaining this younger demographic, or what the parent’s reactions will be when their kids start screaming “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD” or “HERESY” at every opportunity.

The positive reception of the initial books dashed the hope that poor sales would put an end to the series before it could start, so for better or worse we're stuck with it.

For those mythical players of Warhammer with kids, many have reported to actually enjoy having the books to connect on another level with their kids and thus doom them to a future of plastic crack much like them. Or in more serious words, if you have kids who like to read and you want to introduce them to the hobby and setting then these books might be a good way to go and help them get better marks in their reading classes. Or you could just stick them with ''Path of the Archon'', it's really up to your own discretion.

In all honesty the books aren't that bad. It's certainly toned down a lot from the usual 40K fare, but so was Ciaphas Cain HERO OF THE IMPERIUM! The plot of the first book is rather suspenseful, Ultramarines getting killed by Necrons. Most of the book is the main characters running for their lives from a Deathmark. You can argue that no kids, no matter how skilled, could outrun a Deathmark. But then the plot wouldn't happen and a story that lasts 3 pages wouldn't sell. Besides how many of us got into our fandom of choice because we read a book on it as a kid? Then again, that kind of indicates this whole "Warhammer stories for kids" idea is doomed to fail.

==Gallery of Memes==
One of the few unambiguously good things to spring from the announcement of Warhammer Adventures is the number of lulzy images produced by /tg/ as anons interpret what little they know in their own "unique" way.
<gallery>
File:WHAdventuresWTF.jpg|Everyone's first reaction upon reading Zelia's bio
File:WHA-Commissar.jpg|The Commissar's first reaction upon reading Talen's bio
File:WHA-Mekki.gif|The Mechanicus' first reaction upon reading Mekki's bio
File:WHA-TheNecroning.png|How the Necron book should've ended
File:WHA-ChaosSchoolbus.jpg|"Hey kids! Today we're going to learn about MURDERFUCKING!"
File:WHA-Scooby.jpg|"Jeepers! It was old man Abbadon the whole time!"
File:Warhammer Adventures.jpg|They ripped-off the rip-off!
File:WHA-Thanos.jpeg|This is why you don't play in front of the anti-tank guns, kids.
File:90EE3FA4-8EF1-43A7-AE7A-6CC30E92D56D.jpeg|Preview of the upcoming Dark Eldar book
File:Look_what_i_found_mom%2C_an_alien%21.jpg| Look what I found, mom, an alien! Can we keep it?
File:WHA-ZeliaLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Zelia (one step closer to canon with the upcoming "Claws of the Genestealer" book)
File:WHA-TalenLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Talen
File:WHA-MekkiLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Mekki
File:Warhammer adventures.jpg|A sneak peek into the secret psyker character.
File:WHA-Chaos.jpg|"The spiky guy said he'd take us all over the galaxy, surely we can trust him!"
File:Change.jpg|Zelia's father sold her brother to the Dark Eldar as payment for their help. There's a reason she was raised by her mother.
File:HardLife41.jpg|Life in the 41st Millenium is [[Derp| hard]].
File:WHA-Ultramarines.jpg|Meet the Ultramarines. Not exactly children when recruited if you've killed a dozen enemy warriors to get noticed.
File:WHA-Trooper.png|Bio of the fan favorite character, Trooper 3959-9945.
File:WHAIntroduction.jpeg|Sage advice on how 40k should be introduced to children.
File:Warhammer-adventures-orgy.png|Child-friendly content.
File:Absolutely_assblasted.png|Maybe it's not so bad after all
</gallery>
[[Category:Games Workshop]]
[[Category:Literature]]
[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Black Library]]
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Warhammer Adventures

2020-06-19T06:29:16Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:8DC8:2517:CC8C:DA28: /* Age of Sigmar */

{{WTF}}
{{Heresy}}
{{HurfDurf}}

{{topquote|Life in the 41st Millennium is hard.|Cavan Scott making the greatest understatement of all time.}}

Warhammer is the [[Daemonculaba|worst]] [[Haemonculi|possible]] [[Marines Malevolent|setting]] for a children's series which could exist even in theory, so of course it now has its own "junior" product line. It makes perfect sense.

Enter '''Warhammer Adventures''', a series of middle-grade (ages 8 to 12) novels published by [[Black Library]] and based on [[Age of Sigmar]] and [[Warhammer 40,000 8th edition]], which were released during February 2019.

Each novel will feature a group of children going on amazing adventures, like in every kids novel ever released. Given that this is a generic plot template expect this to be nothing like the Warhammer we grew up with. The whole series has been described by Black Library sources as "The Grim Darkness of the far future, but with a nightlight on". Black Library have recruited writers with a track record for commercial tie-in fiction and books for children, which is good for children's books like these but not so much in regards to their adhering to canon (at least, that's the current view). While that description also fits [[Dan Abnett]], many fans predict expect high levels of derp instead of quality canon stories - especially when you consider how much of the setting they have to lighten up on to make sure it doesn't scare away any parents. Well, that or the books could all be set in Civilized Worlds, Paradise Worlds, etc. But there's a good reason why the exciting Grimdark fluff almost never happens there unless the war comes: they're boring.

The intial books have apparently sold very well, according to Games Workshop's own social media and book sales tracker Nielsen BookScan.

==Novels==
===Warped Galaxies (40k)===
*''Attack of the Necron'' by [[wikipedia:Cavan Scott|Cavan Scott]]
*''Claws of the Genestealer'' by Cavan Scott
*''Secrets of the Tau'' by Cavan Scott

===Realm Quest (Age of Sigmar)===
*''City of Lifestone'' by <strike>Loki</strike> Tom Huddleston
*''Lair of the Skaven'' by Tom Huddleston
*''Forest of the Ancients'' by Tom Huddleston
*''Flight Of The Kharadron'' by Tom Huddleston

==Characters==
Something you'll notice is that both settings follow a particular set of generic cliche characters: a peace-loving leader, a brash misfit of a brawler, and a prodigal artisan. Who, despite never going past their teenage years, are somehow just as, if not more, proficient as full-grown professionals in their settings. In 40k it can be explained as them being flashed taught like many manufactoria workers are on particularly bad Hive Worlds. With the caveat that doing so causes gradual brain degradation until you're basically a vegetable by your middle age and thrown away like a used battery.

Yep, you're essentially getting the same template used for literally every other book series marketed towards pre-teens. Bear in mind they are from a licensed novel series by professional authors being sold for real money, and not something you dug out of the crusty underbelly of DeviantArt or Fanfiction.net that you read for laughs; on the other hand, [[C.S. Goto|sometimes that's a distinction without a difference.]]
(Because gods forbid they try and introduce warhammer to a younger audience (that's what the Internet is for, especially YouTube))
=== 40k ===

'''Zelia:''' A young daughter of a [[Rogue Trader|galactic explorer]], she [[Heresy|helps her mom dig up ancient alien artifacts]] and [[Derp|hates weapons in a setting where everything that's alien and most things that aren't actively trying to kill you.]] Instead, she believes that the best way to overcome fear is by [[Magnus|learning]]. Voted most likely to be slowly tortured to death by the [[Inquisition]] for seeking out [[Chaos|the truth]]. Either that or Guilliman has her earmarked to become a historitor.

'''Talen:''' The son of an [[Imperial Guard]] officer, Talen decided to run away from home to [[Heresy|avoid military conscription]] and became a hive ganger (so, he ran away from a hard life as a soldier for a harder life as a hooligan constantly look over his shoulder for both the authorities, his family, and his fellow gangers...brilliant). He's fairly aggressive and kind of a brute; however, that is offset by his [[noblebright|loyalty to his friends]]. He carries around a [[miniature|toy soldier]], which is one of the only reminders he has of his older brother who went off to war. All in all, the only character whose preview is not a thinking-emoji level setup, let alone one of [[C.S. Goto|potentially multilasered]] proportions. Expect someone to make a greenstuff version of him as a [[Necromunda]] Juve. It would be ironic if his gang got conscripted by the Imperial Guard anyway, as they are known to do - he just better hope that the Commissar never finds out about the whole conscription-dodging thing (pfft, who are we kidding? His family totally reported him and his gang will be conscripted solely for the Commissar to execute him).

'''Mekki:''' What happens when you cross a [[tech-priest]] with Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. (...so "Young Sheldon"?) He hails from [[Mars]] and is described as an [[Heretek|inventor]], due to his creation of a small robotic swarm that assist him with certain duties. His right arm is paralyzed, so instead of doing the normal, cool Mechanicus thing and replacing it with cybernetics he decides to just build a brace to help him move it. Omnissiah only knows why he wasn't forcefully re-purposed as a [[servitor]] for his blatant tech-heresy yet, especially considering he's from Mars; even on backwater Forge Worlds things like Vorax Automata are shunned and forbidden because of their animalistic intelligence. This goes double as this is post-Great Rift, where Guilliman's protection of Cawl's tech heresies (one of which includes AI-tech) has the AdMech inching closer to another civil war.

'''Fleapit the [[Jokaero]]''': Yes, a frigging techno space-ape is in this book series and it is helping the children. Yes, his name is "Fleapit". Apparently Cavan Scott thought that what 40k really needed to bring in the kiddies was Scooby-Doo.

'''[[Space Marines]]:''' Here as usual. Depicted in [[Primaris Marines|Primary-sue]] armour, so this bright and happy tale is happening post-[[Great Rift]]. Naturally, they're using the [[Ultramarines|Ultrasmurfs]], as they're "[[Matt Ward|bravest of all the heroic Space Marines]]", and not because they're just the most easily recognizable Chapter that gets the most publicity, honest.

'''[[Necrons]]:''' The cold and unfeeling [[Derp|"enslaving tyrants"]] we all know and purge, probably chosen because killing robots is much more family-friendly than shooting at living things, and some of their [[Gauss|primary weapons]] kill cleanly too. Less retarded than it sounds, since Wardcrons have enough variation in their personalities that some random Phaeron keeping Enfleshed as pets makes perfect sense, especially considering [[Trazyn]]'s "collection." Ol' Trollzyn as an evil space collector who traps living beings to keep as exhibits in his space museum would actually make him a pretty good kid-adventure villain (possibly leaving out the eternal agony parts in regards to some of his captives).

=== Age of Sigmar ===

'''Elio:''' Token black kid from the realm of life. His medical skills are "second to none," presumably among his age bracket of a mere 14 years. Obsessive about [[Drycha|plants]], but apparently interested in all critters great and small, up to and including monsters like [[manticore]]s. Also, he's not much of a fighter - because that's not a concern with giant man-eating monsters, right? Basically the embodiment of the gentle giant/pacifist healer trope, in a setting where people like that exist to be fed to Chaos warriors to show the audience how evil they are.

'''Alish:''' A 12-year old from the Realm of Light, who is "restless, inquisitive and highly intelligent" and has the instinctive ability to repair "almost any mechanical device." She also loves inventing and has apparently designed and built everything from clocks to airships, despite being 12. Mary Sue classic. And to make her extra stupid, the one thing she refuses to build is weapons, despite A) walking around with a sodding huge hammer and B) living in the monster-and-barbarian-filled world of AoS where access to weapons can and will save lives. Basically Zelia, but in fantasy.

'''Kiri:''' At fifteen, she seems to be the oldest of the bunch, coming from the realm of metal. Kiri is "as strong and steadfast as steel" who was raised in the barbarian slave camps of Aqshy (because the whole character would probably have been a lot different if it was a Slanneshi warband) where she learned to fight as soon as she could walk. "Somehow this harsh life hasn't made her cruel or resentful" - direct quote, and we're pretty bloody surprised too. She uses a slingshot. She fought in Chaos gladiator pits '''and won''' with a ''slingshot''. Not a [[sling]], which can do some actual damage, a toy slingshot. This is just silly. Before you bring up David from Scripture who fought Goliath, leaving aside the element of divine aid which depends on one's beliefs, at least he fought one giant in a 1-v-1 challenge not several and he had a real weapon; a real weapon that was well known for being able to damage armor and David himself was extremely skilled with a sling due to needing to be for his livelihood.

'''Thanis:''' A 12-year old gal from the realm of Fire. The big sister type of the group who protects her friends.

'''Kreech:''' A cunning Skaven packlord of the clan Quickfang YES YES. An unusual Skaven who has adopted the man-thing's behavior and their ability to be creative, very unusual since most Skaven look down on anything that's not Skaven. Currently scheming with a heretical woman-thing in order to gain more power in the man-thing hierarchy. He also owns a man-thing play-thing called Scratch. YES YES.

'''Scratch:''' A 12-year old from realm of Beast and currently Kreech's plaything; his true name is forgotten. Like how [[Leman Russ]] and [[Lion El'Johnson]] was raised by the wild and had adopted it's behavior, Scratch has adopted Skaven's cunning thinking and has fashion himself to be like one of them.

'''[[Stormcast Eternals]]:''' As they are. Nothing particularly odd or inaccurate in their bio blurb - they even mentioned the whole "died and was reborn" bit.

'''Darkoath Barbarians:''' One of many tribes serving <s>[[Chaos]]</s> [[Derp|the forces of Evil]] (they're probably lumping all non-Order Grand Alliances into one big "bad guys" group, because Order ''totally'' lacks [[Drycha|any]] [[Daughters of Khaine|dark]] [[Idoneth Deepkin|side]]). Plundering, pillaging, enslaving... typical villain stuff. Their name is still less stupid than 99% of what GW Legal's shat out, though.

==Reception==
Initial reception has been [[Skub|polarizing]], to say the least. Many consider this series a futile attempt to dilute the grimdarkness of both Warhammer settings to try and appeal to a younger demographic, with the slim but worrying possibility of the dumbing-down and "modern" approach to writing working its way into the setting proper in a greedy lunge for Daddy's credit card. ([[End Times|It's not like GW isn't known for terrible ideas, after all.]]) Characters hating weaponry, gleefully searching xenotech and running away from conscription in 40k certainly don't give people that much confidence, leading to pointed questions regarding how they would deal with darker groups like Dark Eldar/Elves, Daughter of Khaine, Idoneth Deepkin, Chaos, Undead or Tyranids; when asked, Black Library deflected the question or gave non-answers to the effect of "very carefully." There's also the argument that many kids prefer fantasizing about characters older than them (i.e they hope that they might grow up to be like them), and that by making the protagonists kids, they are invariably just making it corny and unappealing to the very audience they want to attract (as if the protagonists are their age, they already have no chance of becoming them).

It's also inevitable that some parents will catch on to the fact that these kid-friendly adventures actually take place in a universe where the literal gods are embodiment of concepts like genocide and sexual violence. Less abstractly, Warhammer is full of things like [[Dark Eldar|race-wide mandated mass torture]], machines who [[Flayed Ones|wear the flayed and bloody flesh of their foes]], and [[Daemonculaba|horrifically mutated]] [[/pol/|sub-sapient]] [[Skaven|breeding slaves]]. Daddy and Mommy are going to be upset when they realize just what Warhammer is actually like. For once in human history, the parents who just bought their kids something which causes permanent psychological damage will have a valid point when they blame the company that sold it to them. Of course, all the above is moot if GW ends up depicting a comparatively whitewashed version of the setting with most of the nastier parts stripped out or otherwise not alluded to directly, but that still doesn't stop the kids from stumbling over the unabridged versions anyway (and their parents putting two and two together from there).

Defenders argue that this could be an opportunity to flesh out groups and aspects of the setting that often get ignored, showing positive aspects of the galaxy in a setting so focused on grimdark. There's also the possibility of new mini-lines being produced, probably somewhat cheaper than the mainline series to not scare children (or their parents) away, which could help flesh out the more neglected armies, assuming they don't just keep drowning us in Spacesigmarines and Stormhammer shit because that's what Marketing wants to sell. And the most obvious benefit being that parent gamers will be able to introduce their younger children to the setting with age-appropriate material before weening them into the more mature stuff (like it is meant for ages 8-12, older people aren't suppose to like it) thus giving young kids more options.

Considering that GW themselves have said that their ideal demographic is “an intelligent 18 year old,” it's somewhat baffling why they’ve chosen to write for a demographic so young. At best, they should have started with young teens, giving them more room to stay closer to the grimdark of 40k while still being able to pull back. Perhaps their reasoning is that younger kids are easier to sell merchandise to, which is probably true if properties like Skylanders are anything to go by. That being said, we don’t know what’s GW’s long-term strategies are for drawing in and maintaining this younger demographic, or what the parent’s reactions will be when their kids start screaming “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD” or “HERESY” at every opportunity.

The positive reception of the initial books dashed the hope that poor sales would put an end to the series before it could start, so for better or worse we're stuck with it.

For those mythical players of Warhammer with kids, many have reported to actually enjoy having the books to connect on another level with their kids and thus doom them to a future of plastic crack much like them. Or in more serious words, if you have kids who like to read and you want to introduce them to the hobby and setting then these books might be a good way to go and help them get better marks in their reading classes. Or you could just stick them with ''Path of the Archon'', it's really up to your own discretion.

In all honesty the books aren't that bad. It's certainly toned down a lot from the usual 40K fare, but so was Ciaphas Cain HERO OF THE IMPERIUM! The plot of the first book is rather suspenseful, Ultramarines getting killed by Necrons. Most of the book is the main characters running for their lives from a Deathmark. You can argue that no kids, no matter how skilled, could outrun a Deathmark. But then the plot wouldn't happen and a story that lasts 3 pages wouldn't sell. Besides how many of us got into our fandom of choice because we read a book on it as a kid? Then again, that kind of indicates this whole "Warhammer stories for kids" idea is doomed to fail.

==Gallery of Memes==
One of the few unambiguously good things to spring from the announcement of Warhammer Adventures is the number of lulzy images produced by /tg/ as anons interpret what little they know in their own "unique" way.
<gallery>
File:WHAdventuresWTF.jpg|Everyone's first reaction upon reading Zelia's bio
File:WHA-Commissar.jpg|The Commissar's first reaction upon reading Talen's bio
File:WHA-Mekki.gif|The Mechanicus' first reaction upon reading Mekki's bio
File:WHA-TheNecroning.png|How the Necron book should've ended
File:WHA-ChaosSchoolbus.jpg|"Hey kids! Today we're going to learn about MURDERFUCKING!"
File:WHA-Scooby.jpg|"Jeepers! It was old man Abbadon the whole time!"
File:Warhammer Adventures.jpg|They ripped-off the rip-off!
File:WHA-Thanos.jpeg|This is why you don't play in front of the anti-tank guns, kids.
File:90EE3FA4-8EF1-43A7-AE7A-6CC30E92D56D.jpeg|Preview of the upcoming Dark Eldar book
File:Look_what_i_found_mom%2C_an_alien%21.jpg| Look what I found, mom, an alien! Can we keep it?
File:WHA-ZeliaLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Zelia (one step closer to canon with the upcoming "Claws of the Genestealer" book)
File:WHA-TalenLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Talen
File:WHA-MekkiLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Mekki
File:Warhammer adventures.jpg|A sneak peek into the secret psyker character.
File:WHA-Chaos.jpg|"The spiky guy said he'd take us all over the galaxy, surely we can trust him!"
File:Change.jpg|Zelia's father sold her brother to the Dark Eldar as payment for their help. There's a reason she was raised by her mother.
File:HardLife41.jpg|Life in the 41st Millenium is [[Derp| hard]].
File:WHA-Ultramarines.jpg|Meet the Ultramarines. Not exactly children when recruited if you've killed a dozen enemy warriors to get noticed.
File:WHA-Trooper.png|Bio of the fan favorite character, Trooper 3959-9945.
File:WHAIntroduction.jpeg|Sage advice on how 40k should be introduced to children.
File:Warhammer-adventures-orgy.png|Child-friendly content.
File:Absolutely_assblasted.png|Maybe it's not so bad after all
</gallery>
[[Category:Games Workshop]]
[[Category:Literature]]
[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Black Library]]
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Warhammer Adventures

2020-06-19T06:20:40Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:8DC8:2517:CC8C:DA28: /* Gallery of Memes */

{{WTF}}
{{Heresy}}
{{HurfDurf}}

{{topquote|Life in the 41st Millennium is hard.|Cavan Scott making the greatest understatement of all time.}}

Warhammer is the [[Daemonculaba|worst]] [[Haemonculi|possible]] [[Marines Malevolent|setting]] for a children's series which could exist even in theory, so of course it now has its own "junior" product line. It makes perfect sense.

Enter '''Warhammer Adventures''', a series of middle-grade (ages 8 to 12) novels published by [[Black Library]] and based on [[Age of Sigmar]] and [[Warhammer 40,000 8th edition]], which were released during February 2019.

Each novel will feature a group of children going on amazing adventures, like in every kids novel ever released. Given that this is a generic plot template expect this to be nothing like the Warhammer we grew up with. The whole series has been described by Black Library sources as "The Grim Darkness of the far future, but with a nightlight on". Black Library have recruited writers with a track record for commercial tie-in fiction and books for children, which is good for children's books like these but not so much in regards to their adhering to canon (at least, that's the current view). While that description also fits [[Dan Abnett]], many fans predict expect high levels of derp instead of quality canon stories - especially when you consider how much of the setting they have to lighten up on to make sure it doesn't scare away any parents. Well, that or the books could all be set in Civilized Worlds, Paradise Worlds, etc. But there's a good reason why the exciting Grimdark fluff almost never happens there unless the war comes: they're boring.

The intial books have apparently sold very well, according to Games Workshop's own social media and book sales tracker Nielsen BookScan.

==Novels==
===Warped Galaxies (40k)===
*''Attack of the Necron'' by [[wikipedia:Cavan Scott|Cavan Scott]]
*''Claws of the Genestealer'' by Cavan Scott
*''Secrets of the Tau'' by Cavan Scott

===Realm Quest (Age of Sigmar)===
*''City of Lifestone'' by <strike>Loki</strike> Tom Huddleston
*''Lair of the Skaven'' by Tom Huddleston
*''Forest of the Ancients'' by Tom Huddleston
*''Flight Of The Kharadron'' by Tom Huddleston

==Characters==
Something you'll notice is that both settings follow a particular set of generic cliche characters: a peace-loving leader, a brash misfit of a brawler, and a prodigal artisan. Who, despite never going past their teenage years, are somehow just as, if not more, proficient as full-grown professionals in their settings. In 40k it can be explained as them being flashed taught like many manufactoria workers are on particularly bad Hive Worlds. With the caveat that doing so causes gradual brain degradation until you're basically a vegetable by your middle age and thrown away like a used battery.

Yep, you're essentially getting the same template used for literally every other book series marketed towards pre-teens. Bear in mind they are from a licensed novel series by professional authors being sold for real money, and not something you dug out of the crusty underbelly of DeviantArt or Fanfiction.net that you read for laughs; on the other hand, [[C.S. Goto|sometimes that's a distinction without a difference.]]
(Because gods forbid they try and introduce warhammer to a younger audience (that's what the Internet is for, especially YouTube))
=== 40k ===

'''Zelia:''' A young daughter of a [[Rogue Trader|galactic explorer]], she [[Heresy|helps her mom dig up ancient alien artifacts]] and [[Derp|hates weapons in a setting where everything that's alien and most things that aren't actively trying to kill you.]] Instead, she believes that the best way to overcome fear is by [[Magnus|learning]]. Voted most likely to be slowly tortured to death by the [[Inquisition]] for seeking out [[Chaos|the truth]]. Either that or Guilliman has her earmarked to become a historitor.

'''Talen:''' The son of an [[Imperial Guard]] officer, Talen decided to run away from home to [[Heresy|avoid military conscription]] and became a hive ganger (so, he ran away from a hard life as a soldier for a harder life as a hooligan constantly look over his shoulder for both the authorities, his family, and his fellow gangers...brilliant). He's fairly aggressive and kind of a brute; however, that is offset by his [[noblebright|loyalty to his friends]]. He carries around a [[miniature|toy soldier]], which is one of the only reminders he has of his older brother who went off to war. All in all, the only character whose preview is not a thinking-emoji level setup, let alone one of [[C.S. Goto|potentially multilasered]] proportions. Expect someone to make a greenstuff version of him as a [[Necromunda]] Juve. It would be ironic if his gang got conscripted by the Imperial Guard anyway, as they are known to do - he just better hope that the Commissar never finds out about the whole conscription-dodging thing (pfft, who are we kidding? His family totally reported him and his gang will be conscripted solely for the Commissar to execute him).

'''Mekki:''' What happens when you cross a [[tech-priest]] with Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. (...so "Young Sheldon"?) He hails from [[Mars]] and is described as an [[Heretek|inventor]], due to his creation of a small robotic swarm that assist him with certain duties. His right arm is paralyzed, so instead of doing the normal, cool Mechanicus thing and replacing it with cybernetics he decides to just build a brace to help him move it. Omnissiah only knows why he wasn't forcefully re-purposed as a [[servitor]] for his blatant tech-heresy yet, especially considering he's from Mars; even on backwater Forge Worlds things like Vorax Automata are shunned and forbidden because of their animalistic intelligence. This goes double as this is post-Great Rift, where Guilliman's protection of Cawl's tech heresies (one of which includes AI-tech) has the AdMech inching closer to another civil war.

'''Fleapit the [[Jokaero]]''': Yes, a frigging techno space-ape is in this book series and it is helping the children. Yes, his name is "Fleapit". Apparently Cavan Scott thought that what 40k really needed to bring in the kiddies was Scooby-Doo.

'''[[Space Marines]]:''' Here as usual. Depicted in [[Primaris Marines|Primary-sue]] armour, so this bright and happy tale is happening post-[[Great Rift]]. Naturally, they're using the [[Ultramarines|Ultrasmurfs]], as they're "[[Matt Ward|bravest of all the heroic Space Marines]]", and not because they're just the most easily recognizable Chapter that gets the most publicity, honest.

'''[[Necrons]]:''' The cold and unfeeling [[Derp|"enslaving tyrants"]] we all know and purge, probably chosen because killing robots is much more family-friendly than shooting at living things, and some of their [[Gauss|primary weapons]] kill cleanly too. Less retarded than it sounds, since Wardcrons have enough variation in their personalities that some random Phaeron keeping Enfleshed as pets makes perfect sense, especially considering [[Trazyn]]'s "collection." Ol' Trollzyn as an evil space collector who traps living beings to keep as exhibits in his space museum would actually make him a pretty good kid-adventure villain (possibly leaving out the eternal agony parts in regards to some of his captives).

=== Age of Sigmar ===

'''Elio:''' Token black kid from the realm of life. His medical skills are "second to none," presumably among his age bracket of a mere 14 years. Obsessive about [[Drycha|plants]], but apparently interested in all critters great and small, up to and including monsters like [[manticore]]s. Also, he's not much of a fighter - because that's not a concern with giant man-eating monsters, right? Basically the embodiment of the gentle giant/pacifist healer trope, in a setting where people like that exist to be fed to Chaos warriors to show the audience how evil they are.

'''Alish:''' A 12-year old from the Realm of Light, who is "restless, inquisitive and highly intelligent" and has the instinctive ability to repair "almost any mechanical device." She also loves inventing and has apparently designed and built everything from clocks to airships, despite being 12. Mary Sue classic. And to make her extra stupid, the one thing she refuses to build is weapons, despite A) walking around with a sodding huge hammer and B) living in the monster-and-barbarian-filled world of AoS where access to weapons can and will save lives. Basically Zelia, but in fantasy.

'''Kiri:''' At fifteen, she seems to be the oldest of the bunch, coming from the realm of metal. Kiri is "as strong and steadfast as steel" who was raised in the barbarian slave camps of Aqshy (because the whole character would probably have been a lot different if it was a Slanneshi warband) where she learned to fight as soon as she could walk. "Somehow this harsh life hasn't made her cruel or resentful" - direct quote, and we're pretty bloody surprised too. She uses a slingshot. She fought in Chaos gladiator pits '''and won''' with a ''slingshot''. Not a [[sling]], which can do some actual damage, a toy slingshot. This is just silly. Before you bring up David, leaving aside the element of divine aid which depends on one's beliefs, at least he fought one giant in a 1-v-1 challenge not several and he had a real weapon. A real weapon that was well known for being able to damage armor despite what you might think, was used against a target not wearing armor, and David himself was extremely skilled with a sling due to needing to for his livelihood.

'''Thanis:''' A 12-year old gal from the realm of Fire. The big sister type of the group who protects her friends.

'''Kreech:''' A cunning Skaven packlord of the clan Quickfang YES YES. An unusual Skaven who has adopted the man-thing's behavior and their ability to be creative, very unusual since most Skaven look down on anything that's not Skaven. Currently scheming with a heretical woman-thing in order to gain more power in the man-thing hierarchy. He also owns a man-thing play-thing called Scratch. YES YES.

'''Scratch:''' A 12-year old from realm of Beast and currently Kreech's plaything; his true name is forgotten. Like how [[Leman Russ]] and [[Lion El'Johnson]] was raised by the wild and had adopted it's behavior, Scratch has adopted Skaven's cunning thinking and has fashion himself to be like one of them.

'''[[Stormcast Eternals]]:''' As they are. Nothing particularly odd or inaccurate in their bio blurb - they even mentioned the whole "died and was reborn" bit.

'''Darkoath Barbarians:''' One of many tribes serving <s>[[Chaos]]</s> [[Derp|the forces of Evil]] (they're probably lumping all non-Order Grand Alliances into one big "bad guys" group, because Order ''totally'' lacks [[Drycha|any]] [[Daughters of Khaine|dark]] [[Idoneth Deepkin|side]]). Plundering, pillaging, enslaving... typical villain stuff. Their name is still less stupid than 99% of what GW Legal's shat out, though.

==Reception==
Initial reception has been [[Skub|polarizing]], to say the least. Many consider this series a futile attempt to dilute the grimdarkness of both Warhammer settings to try and appeal to a younger demographic, with the slim but worrying possibility of the dumbing-down and "modern" approach to writing working its way into the setting proper in a greedy lunge for Daddy's credit card. ([[End Times|It's not like GW isn't known for terrible ideas, after all.]]) Characters hating weaponry, gleefully searching xenotech and running away from conscription in 40k certainly don't give people that much confidence, leading to pointed questions regarding how they would deal with darker groups like Dark Eldar/Elves, Daughter of Khaine, Idoneth Deepkin, Chaos, Undead or Tyranids; when asked, Black Library deflected the question or gave non-answers to the effect of "very carefully." There's also the argument that many kids prefer fantasizing about characters older than them (i.e they hope that they might grow up to be like them), and that by making the protagonists kids, they are invariably just making it corny and unappealing to the very audience they want to attract (as if the protagonists are their age, they already have no chance of becoming them).

It's also inevitable that some parents will catch on to the fact that these kid-friendly adventures actually take place in a universe where the literal gods are embodiment of concepts like genocide and sexual violence. Less abstractly, Warhammer is full of things like [[Dark Eldar|race-wide mandated mass torture]], machines who [[Flayed Ones|wear the flayed and bloody flesh of their foes]], and [[Daemonculaba|horrifically mutated]] [[/pol/|sub-sapient]] [[Skaven|breeding slaves]]. Daddy and Mommy are going to be upset when they realize just what Warhammer is actually like. For once in human history, the parents who just bought their kids something which causes permanent psychological damage will have a valid point when they blame the company that sold it to them. Of course, all the above is moot if GW ends up depicting a comparatively whitewashed version of the setting with most of the nastier parts stripped out or otherwise not alluded to directly, but that still doesn't stop the kids from stumbling over the unabridged versions anyway (and their parents putting two and two together from there).

Defenders argue that this could be an opportunity to flesh out groups and aspects of the setting that often get ignored, showing positive aspects of the galaxy in a setting so focused on grimdark. There's also the possibility of new mini-lines being produced, probably somewhat cheaper than the mainline series to not scare children (or their parents) away, which could help flesh out the more neglected armies, assuming they don't just keep drowning us in Spacesigmarines and Stormhammer shit because that's what Marketing wants to sell. And the most obvious benefit being that parent gamers will be able to introduce their younger children to the setting with age-appropriate material before weening them into the more mature stuff (like it is meant for ages 8-12, older people aren't suppose to like it) thus giving young kids more options.

Considering that GW themselves have said that their ideal demographic is “an intelligent 18 year old,” it's somewhat baffling why they’ve chosen to write for a demographic so young. At best, they should have started with young teens, giving them more room to stay closer to the grimdark of 40k while still being able to pull back. Perhaps their reasoning is that younger kids are easier to sell merchandise to, which is probably true if properties like Skylanders are anything to go by. That being said, we don’t know what’s GW’s long-term strategies are for drawing in and maintaining this younger demographic, or what the parent’s reactions will be when their kids start screaming “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD” or “HERESY” at every opportunity.

The positive reception of the initial books dashed the hope that poor sales would put an end to the series before it could start, so for better or worse we're stuck with it.

For those mythical players of Warhammer with kids, many have reported to actually enjoy having the books to connect on another level with their kids and thus doom them to a future of plastic crack much like them. Or in more serious words, if you have kids who like to read and you want to introduce them to the hobby and setting then these books might be a good way to go and help them get better marks in their reading classes. Or you could just stick them with ''Path of the Archon'', it's really up to your own discretion.

In all honesty the books aren't that bad. It's certainly toned down a lot from the usual 40K fare, but so was Ciaphas Cain HERO OF THE IMPERIUM! The plot of the first book is rather suspenseful, Ultramarines getting killed by Necrons. Most of the book is the main characters running for their lives from a Deathmark. You can argue that no kids, no matter how skilled, could outrun a Deathmark. But then the plot wouldn't happen and a story that lasts 3 pages wouldn't sell. Besides how many of us got into our fandom of choice because we read a book on it as a kid? Then again, that kind of indicates this whole "Warhammer stories for kids" idea is doomed to fail.

==Gallery of Memes==
One of the few unambiguously good things to spring from the announcement of Warhammer Adventures is the number of lulzy images produced by /tg/ as anons interpret what little they know in their own "unique" way.
<gallery>
File:WHAdventuresWTF.jpg|Everyone's first reaction upon reading Zelia's bio
File:WHA-Commissar.jpg|The Commissar's first reaction upon reading Talen's bio
File:WHA-Mekki.gif|The Mechanicus' first reaction upon reading Mekki's bio
File:WHA-TheNecroning.png|How the Necron book should've ended
File:WHA-ChaosSchoolbus.jpg|"Hey kids! Today we're going to learn about MURDERFUCKING!"
File:WHA-Scooby.jpg|"Jeepers! It was old man Abbadon the whole time!"
File:Warhammer Adventures.jpg|They ripped-off the rip-off!
File:WHA-Thanos.jpeg|This is why you don't play in front of the anti-tank guns, kids.
File:90EE3FA4-8EF1-43A7-AE7A-6CC30E92D56D.jpeg|Preview of the upcoming Dark Eldar book
File:Look_what_i_found_mom%2C_an_alien%21.jpg| Look what I found, mom, an alien! Can we keep it?
File:WHA-ZeliaLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Zelia (one step closer to canon with the upcoming "Claws of the Genestealer" book)
File:WHA-TalenLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Talen
File:WHA-MekkiLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Mekki
File:Warhammer adventures.jpg|A sneak peek into the secret psyker character.
File:WHA-Chaos.jpg|"The spiky guy said he'd take us all over the galaxy, surely we can trust him!"
File:Change.jpg|Zelia's father sold her brother to the Dark Eldar as payment for their help. There's a reason she was raised by her mother.
File:HardLife41.jpg|Life in the 41st Millenium is [[Derp| hard]].
File:WHA-Ultramarines.jpg|Meet the Ultramarines. Not exactly children when recruited if you've killed a dozen enemy warriors to get noticed.
File:WHA-Trooper.png|Bio of the fan favorite character, Trooper 3959-9945.
File:WHAIntroduction.jpeg|Sage advice on how 40k should be introduced to children.
File:Warhammer-adventures-orgy.png|Child-friendly content.
File:Absolutely_assblasted.png|Maybe it's not so bad after all
</gallery>
[[Category:Games Workshop]]
[[Category:Literature]]
[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Black Library]]
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Warhammer Adventures

2020-06-19T06:16:00Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:8DC8:2517:CC8C:DA28: /* Gallery of Memes */

{{WTF}}
{{Heresy}}
{{HurfDurf}}

{{topquote|Life in the 41st Millennium is hard.|Cavan Scott making the greatest understatement of all time.}}

Warhammer is the [[Daemonculaba|worst]] [[Haemonculi|possible]] [[Marines Malevolent|setting]] for a children's series which could exist even in theory, so of course it now has its own "junior" product line. It makes perfect sense.

Enter '''Warhammer Adventures''', a series of middle-grade (ages 8 to 12) novels published by [[Black Library]] and based on [[Age of Sigmar]] and [[Warhammer 40,000 8th edition]], which were released during February 2019.

Each novel will feature a group of children going on amazing adventures, like in every kids novel ever released. Given that this is a generic plot template expect this to be nothing like the Warhammer we grew up with. The whole series has been described by Black Library sources as "The Grim Darkness of the far future, but with a nightlight on". Black Library have recruited writers with a track record for commercial tie-in fiction and books for children, which is good for children's books like these but not so much in regards to their adhering to canon (at least, that's the current view). While that description also fits [[Dan Abnett]], many fans predict expect high levels of derp instead of quality canon stories - especially when you consider how much of the setting they have to lighten up on to make sure it doesn't scare away any parents. Well, that or the books could all be set in Civilized Worlds, Paradise Worlds, etc. But there's a good reason why the exciting Grimdark fluff almost never happens there unless the war comes: they're boring.

The intial books have apparently sold very well, according to Games Workshop's own social media and book sales tracker Nielsen BookScan.

==Novels==
===Warped Galaxies (40k)===
*''Attack of the Necron'' by [[wikipedia:Cavan Scott|Cavan Scott]]
*''Claws of the Genestealer'' by Cavan Scott
*''Secrets of the Tau'' by Cavan Scott

===Realm Quest (Age of Sigmar)===
*''City of Lifestone'' by <strike>Loki</strike> Tom Huddleston
*''Lair of the Skaven'' by Tom Huddleston
*''Forest of the Ancients'' by Tom Huddleston
*''Flight Of The Kharadron'' by Tom Huddleston

==Characters==
Something you'll notice is that both settings follow a particular set of generic cliche characters: a peace-loving leader, a brash misfit of a brawler, and a prodigal artisan. Who, despite never going past their teenage years, are somehow just as, if not more, proficient as full-grown professionals in their settings. In 40k it can be explained as them being flashed taught like many manufactoria workers are on particularly bad Hive Worlds. With the caveat that doing so causes gradual brain degradation until you're basically a vegetable by your middle age and thrown away like a used battery.

Yep, you're essentially getting the same template used for literally every other book series marketed towards pre-teens. Bear in mind they are from a licensed novel series by professional authors being sold for real money, and not something you dug out of the crusty underbelly of DeviantArt or Fanfiction.net that you read for laughs; on the other hand, [[C.S. Goto|sometimes that's a distinction without a difference.]]
(Because gods forbid they try and introduce warhammer to a younger audience (that's what the Internet is for, especially YouTube))
=== 40k ===

'''Zelia:''' A young daughter of a [[Rogue Trader|galactic explorer]], she [[Heresy|helps her mom dig up ancient alien artifacts]] and [[Derp|hates weapons in a setting where everything that's alien and most things that aren't actively trying to kill you.]] Instead, she believes that the best way to overcome fear is by [[Magnus|learning]]. Voted most likely to be slowly tortured to death by the [[Inquisition]] for seeking out [[Chaos|the truth]]. Either that or Guilliman has her earmarked to become a historitor.

'''Talen:''' The son of an [[Imperial Guard]] officer, Talen decided to run away from home to [[Heresy|avoid military conscription]] and became a hive ganger (so, he ran away from a hard life as a soldier for a harder life as a hooligan constantly look over his shoulder for both the authorities, his family, and his fellow gangers...brilliant). He's fairly aggressive and kind of a brute; however, that is offset by his [[noblebright|loyalty to his friends]]. He carries around a [[miniature|toy soldier]], which is one of the only reminders he has of his older brother who went off to war. All in all, the only character whose preview is not a thinking-emoji level setup, let alone one of [[C.S. Goto|potentially multilasered]] proportions. Expect someone to make a greenstuff version of him as a [[Necromunda]] Juve. It would be ironic if his gang got conscripted by the Imperial Guard anyway, as they are known to do - he just better hope that the Commissar never finds out about the whole conscription-dodging thing (pfft, who are we kidding? His family totally reported him and his gang will be conscripted solely for the Commissar to execute him).

'''Mekki:''' What happens when you cross a [[tech-priest]] with Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. (...so "Young Sheldon"?) He hails from [[Mars]] and is described as an [[Heretek|inventor]], due to his creation of a small robotic swarm that assist him with certain duties. His right arm is paralyzed, so instead of doing the normal, cool Mechanicus thing and replacing it with cybernetics he decides to just build a brace to help him move it. Omnissiah only knows why he wasn't forcefully re-purposed as a [[servitor]] for his blatant tech-heresy yet, especially considering he's from Mars; even on backwater Forge Worlds things like Vorax Automata are shunned and forbidden because of their animalistic intelligence. This goes double as this is post-Great Rift, where Guilliman's protection of Cawl's tech heresies (one of which includes AI-tech) has the AdMech inching closer to another civil war.

'''Fleapit the [[Jokaero]]''': Yes, a frigging techno space-ape is in this book series and it is helping the children. Yes, his name is "Fleapit". Apparently Cavan Scott thought that what 40k really needed to bring in the kiddies was Scooby-Doo.

'''[[Space Marines]]:''' Here as usual. Depicted in [[Primaris Marines|Primary-sue]] armour, so this bright and happy tale is happening post-[[Great Rift]]. Naturally, they're using the [[Ultramarines|Ultrasmurfs]], as they're "[[Matt Ward|bravest of all the heroic Space Marines]]", and not because they're just the most easily recognizable Chapter that gets the most publicity, honest.

'''[[Necrons]]:''' The cold and unfeeling [[Derp|"enslaving tyrants"]] we all know and purge, probably chosen because killing robots is much more family-friendly than shooting at living things, and some of their [[Gauss|primary weapons]] kill cleanly too. Less retarded than it sounds, since Wardcrons have enough variation in their personalities that some random Phaeron keeping Enfleshed as pets makes perfect sense, especially considering [[Trazyn]]'s "collection." Ol' Trollzyn as an evil space collector who traps living beings to keep as exhibits in his space museum would actually make him a pretty good kid-adventure villain (possibly leaving out the eternal agony parts in regards to some of his captives).

=== Age of Sigmar ===

'''Elio:''' Token black kid from the realm of life. His medical skills are "second to none," presumably among his age bracket of a mere 14 years. Obsessive about [[Drycha|plants]], but apparently interested in all critters great and small, up to and including monsters like [[manticore]]s. Also, he's not much of a fighter - because that's not a concern with giant man-eating monsters, right? Basically the embodiment of the gentle giant/pacifist healer trope, in a setting where people like that exist to be fed to Chaos warriors to show the audience how evil they are.

'''Alish:''' A 12-year old from the Realm of Light, who is "restless, inquisitive and highly intelligent" and has the instinctive ability to repair "almost any mechanical device." She also loves inventing and has apparently designed and built everything from clocks to airships, despite being 12. Mary Sue classic. And to make her extra stupid, the one thing she refuses to build is weapons, despite A) walking around with a sodding huge hammer and B) living in the monster-and-barbarian-filled world of AoS where access to weapons can and will save lives. Basically Zelia, but in fantasy.

'''Kiri:''' At fifteen, she seems to be the oldest of the bunch, coming from the realm of metal. Kiri is "as strong and steadfast as steel" who was raised in the barbarian slave camps of Aqshy (because the whole character would probably have been a lot different if it was a Slanneshi warband) where she learned to fight as soon as she could walk. "Somehow this harsh life hasn't made her cruel or resentful" - direct quote, and we're pretty bloody surprised too. She uses a slingshot. She fought in Chaos gladiator pits '''and won''' with a ''slingshot''. Not a [[sling]], which can do some actual damage, a toy slingshot. This is just silly. Before you bring up David, leaving aside the element of divine aid which depends on one's beliefs, at least he fought one giant in a 1-v-1 challenge not several and he had a real weapon. A real weapon that was well known for being able to damage armor despite what you might think, was used against a target not wearing armor, and David himself was extremely skilled with a sling due to needing to for his livelihood.

'''Thanis:''' A 12-year old gal from the realm of Fire. The big sister type of the group who protects her friends.

'''Kreech:''' A cunning Skaven packlord of the clan Quickfang YES YES. An unusual Skaven who has adopted the man-thing's behavior and their ability to be creative, very unusual since most Skaven look down on anything that's not Skaven. Currently scheming with a heretical woman-thing in order to gain more power in the man-thing hierarchy. He also owns a man-thing play-thing called Scratch. YES YES.

'''Scratch:''' A 12-year old from realm of Beast and currently Kreech's plaything; his true name is forgotten. Like how [[Leman Russ]] and [[Lion El'Johnson]] was raised by the wild and had adopted it's behavior, Scratch has adopted Skaven's cunning thinking and has fashion himself to be like one of them.

'''[[Stormcast Eternals]]:''' As they are. Nothing particularly odd or inaccurate in their bio blurb - they even mentioned the whole "died and was reborn" bit.

'''Darkoath Barbarians:''' One of many tribes serving <s>[[Chaos]]</s> [[Derp|the forces of Evil]] (they're probably lumping all non-Order Grand Alliances into one big "bad guys" group, because Order ''totally'' lacks [[Drycha|any]] [[Daughters of Khaine|dark]] [[Idoneth Deepkin|side]]). Plundering, pillaging, enslaving... typical villain stuff. Their name is still less stupid than 99% of what GW Legal's shat out, though.

==Reception==
Initial reception has been [[Skub|polarizing]], to say the least. Many consider this series a futile attempt to dilute the grimdarkness of both Warhammer settings to try and appeal to a younger demographic, with the slim but worrying possibility of the dumbing-down and "modern" approach to writing working its way into the setting proper in a greedy lunge for Daddy's credit card. ([[End Times|It's not like GW isn't known for terrible ideas, after all.]]) Characters hating weaponry, gleefully searching xenotech and running away from conscription in 40k certainly don't give people that much confidence, leading to pointed questions regarding how they would deal with darker groups like Dark Eldar/Elves, Daughter of Khaine, Idoneth Deepkin, Chaos, Undead or Tyranids; when asked, Black Library deflected the question or gave non-answers to the effect of "very carefully." There's also the argument that many kids prefer fantasizing about characters older than them (i.e they hope that they might grow up to be like them), and that by making the protagonists kids, they are invariably just making it corny and unappealing to the very audience they want to attract (as if the protagonists are their age, they already have no chance of becoming them).

It's also inevitable that some parents will catch on to the fact that these kid-friendly adventures actually take place in a universe where the literal gods are embodiment of concepts like genocide and sexual violence. Less abstractly, Warhammer is full of things like [[Dark Eldar|race-wide mandated mass torture]], machines who [[Flayed Ones|wear the flayed and bloody flesh of their foes]], and [[Daemonculaba|horrifically mutated]] [[/pol/|sub-sapient]] [[Skaven|breeding slaves]]. Daddy and Mommy are going to be upset when they realize just what Warhammer is actually like. For once in human history, the parents who just bought their kids something which causes permanent psychological damage will have a valid point when they blame the company that sold it to them. Of course, all the above is moot if GW ends up depicting a comparatively whitewashed version of the setting with most of the nastier parts stripped out or otherwise not alluded to directly, but that still doesn't stop the kids from stumbling over the unabridged versions anyway (and their parents putting two and two together from there).

Defenders argue that this could be an opportunity to flesh out groups and aspects of the setting that often get ignored, showing positive aspects of the galaxy in a setting so focused on grimdark. There's also the possibility of new mini-lines being produced, probably somewhat cheaper than the mainline series to not scare children (or their parents) away, which could help flesh out the more neglected armies, assuming they don't just keep drowning us in Spacesigmarines and Stormhammer shit because that's what Marketing wants to sell. And the most obvious benefit being that parent gamers will be able to introduce their younger children to the setting with age-appropriate material before weening them into the more mature stuff (like it is meant for ages 8-12, older people aren't suppose to like it) thus giving young kids more options.

Considering that GW themselves have said that their ideal demographic is “an intelligent 18 year old,” it's somewhat baffling why they’ve chosen to write for a demographic so young. At best, they should have started with young teens, giving them more room to stay closer to the grimdark of 40k while still being able to pull back. Perhaps their reasoning is that younger kids are easier to sell merchandise to, which is probably true if properties like Skylanders are anything to go by. That being said, we don’t know what’s GW’s long-term strategies are for drawing in and maintaining this younger demographic, or what the parent’s reactions will be when their kids start screaming “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD” or “HERESY” at every opportunity.

The positive reception of the initial books dashed the hope that poor sales would put an end to the series before it could start, so for better or worse we're stuck with it.

For those mythical players of Warhammer with kids, many have reported to actually enjoy having the books to connect on another level with their kids and thus doom them to a future of plastic crack much like them. Or in more serious words, if you have kids who like to read and you want to introduce them to the hobby and setting then these books might be a good way to go and help them get better marks in their reading classes. Or you could just stick them with ''Path of the Archon'', it's really up to your own discretion.

In all honesty the books aren't that bad. It's certainly toned down a lot from the usual 40K fare, but so was Ciaphas Cain HERO OF THE IMPERIUM! The plot of the first book is rather suspenseful, Ultramarines getting killed by Necrons. Most of the book is the main characters running for their lives from a Deathmark. You can argue that no kids, no matter how skilled, could outrun a Deathmark. But then the plot wouldn't happen and a story that lasts 3 pages wouldn't sell. Besides how many of us got into our fandom of choice because we read a book on it as a kid? Then again, that kind of indicates this whole "Warhammer stories for kids" idea is doomed to fail.

==Gallery of Memes==
One of the few unambiguously good things to spring from the announcement of Warhammer Adventures is the number of lulzy images produced by /tg/ as anons interpret what little they know in their own "unique" way.
<gallery>
File:WHAdventuresWTF.jpg|Everyone's first reaction upon reading Zelia's bio
File:WHA-Commissar.jpg|The Commissar's first reaction upon reading Talen's bio
File:WHA-Mekki.gif|The Mechanicus' first reaction upon reading Mekki's bio
File:WHA-TheNecroning.png|How the Necron book should've ended
File:WHA-ChaosSchoolbus.jpg|"Hey kids! Today we're going to learn about MURDERFUCKING!"
File:WHA-Scooby.jpg|"Jeepers! It was old man Abbadon the whole time!"
File:Warhammer Adventures.jpg|They ripped-off the rip-off!
File:WHA-Thanos.jpeg|This is why you don't play in front of the anti-tank guns, kids.
File:90EE3FA4-8EF1-43A7-AE7A-6CC30E92D56D.jpeg|Preview of the upcoming Dark Eldar book
File:Look_what_i_found_mom%2C_an_alien%21.jpg| Look what I found, mom, an alien! Can we keep it?
File:WHA-ZeliaLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Zelia (one step closer to canon with the upcoming "Claws of the Genestealer" book)
File:WHA-TalenLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Talen
File:WHA-MekkiLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Mekki
File:Warhammer adventures.jpg|A sneak peek into the secret psyker character.
File:WHA-Chaos.jpg|"The spiky guy said he'd take us all over the galaxy, surely we can trust him!"
File:Change.jpg|The reason Zelia's mother is a single mother? Zelia's brother was sold to the Dark Eldar by her father to pay for their help.
File:HardLife41.jpg|Life in the 41st Millenium is [[Derp| hard]].
File:WHA-Ultramarines.jpg|Meet the Ultramarines. Not exactly children when recruited if you've killed a dozen enemy warriors to get noticed.
File:WHA-Trooper.png|Bio of the fan favorite character, Trooper 3959-9945.
File:WHAIntroduction.jpeg|Sage advice on how 40k should be introduced to children.
File:Warhammer-adventures-orgy.png|Child-friendly content.
File:Absolutely_assblasted.png|Maybe it's not so bad after all
</gallery>
[[Category:Games Workshop]]
[[Category:Literature]]
[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Black Library]]
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Warhammer Adventures

2020-06-19T06:13:31Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:8DC8:2517:CC8C:DA28: /* Reception */

{{WTF}}
{{Heresy}}
{{HurfDurf}}

{{topquote|Life in the 41st Millennium is hard.|Cavan Scott making the greatest understatement of all time.}}

Warhammer is the [[Daemonculaba|worst]] [[Haemonculi|possible]] [[Marines Malevolent|setting]] for a children's series which could exist even in theory, so of course it now has its own "junior" product line. It makes perfect sense.

Enter '''Warhammer Adventures''', a series of middle-grade (ages 8 to 12) novels published by [[Black Library]] and based on [[Age of Sigmar]] and [[Warhammer 40,000 8th edition]], which were released during February 2019.

Each novel will feature a group of children going on amazing adventures, like in every kids novel ever released. Given that this is a generic plot template expect this to be nothing like the Warhammer we grew up with. The whole series has been described by Black Library sources as "The Grim Darkness of the far future, but with a nightlight on". Black Library have recruited writers with a track record for commercial tie-in fiction and books for children, which is good for children's books like these but not so much in regards to their adhering to canon (at least, that's the current view). While that description also fits [[Dan Abnett]], many fans predict expect high levels of derp instead of quality canon stories - especially when you consider how much of the setting they have to lighten up on to make sure it doesn't scare away any parents. Well, that or the books could all be set in Civilized Worlds, Paradise Worlds, etc. But there's a good reason why the exciting Grimdark fluff almost never happens there unless the war comes: they're boring.

The intial books have apparently sold very well, according to Games Workshop's own social media and book sales tracker Nielsen BookScan.

==Novels==
===Warped Galaxies (40k)===
*''Attack of the Necron'' by [[wikipedia:Cavan Scott|Cavan Scott]]
*''Claws of the Genestealer'' by Cavan Scott
*''Secrets of the Tau'' by Cavan Scott

===Realm Quest (Age of Sigmar)===
*''City of Lifestone'' by <strike>Loki</strike> Tom Huddleston
*''Lair of the Skaven'' by Tom Huddleston
*''Forest of the Ancients'' by Tom Huddleston
*''Flight Of The Kharadron'' by Tom Huddleston

==Characters==
Something you'll notice is that both settings follow a particular set of generic cliche characters: a peace-loving leader, a brash misfit of a brawler, and a prodigal artisan. Who, despite never going past their teenage years, are somehow just as, if not more, proficient as full-grown professionals in their settings. In 40k it can be explained as them being flashed taught like many manufactoria workers are on particularly bad Hive Worlds. With the caveat that doing so causes gradual brain degradation until you're basically a vegetable by your middle age and thrown away like a used battery.

Yep, you're essentially getting the same template used for literally every other book series marketed towards pre-teens. Bear in mind they are from a licensed novel series by professional authors being sold for real money, and not something you dug out of the crusty underbelly of DeviantArt or Fanfiction.net that you read for laughs; on the other hand, [[C.S. Goto|sometimes that's a distinction without a difference.]]
(Because gods forbid they try and introduce warhammer to a younger audience (that's what the Internet is for, especially YouTube))
=== 40k ===

'''Zelia:''' A young daughter of a [[Rogue Trader|galactic explorer]], she [[Heresy|helps her mom dig up ancient alien artifacts]] and [[Derp|hates weapons in a setting where everything that's alien and most things that aren't actively trying to kill you.]] Instead, she believes that the best way to overcome fear is by [[Magnus|learning]]. Voted most likely to be slowly tortured to death by the [[Inquisition]] for seeking out [[Chaos|the truth]]. Either that or Guilliman has her earmarked to become a historitor.

'''Talen:''' The son of an [[Imperial Guard]] officer, Talen decided to run away from home to [[Heresy|avoid military conscription]] and became a hive ganger (so, he ran away from a hard life as a soldier for a harder life as a hooligan constantly look over his shoulder for both the authorities, his family, and his fellow gangers...brilliant). He's fairly aggressive and kind of a brute; however, that is offset by his [[noblebright|loyalty to his friends]]. He carries around a [[miniature|toy soldier]], which is one of the only reminders he has of his older brother who went off to war. All in all, the only character whose preview is not a thinking-emoji level setup, let alone one of [[C.S. Goto|potentially multilasered]] proportions. Expect someone to make a greenstuff version of him as a [[Necromunda]] Juve. It would be ironic if his gang got conscripted by the Imperial Guard anyway, as they are known to do - he just better hope that the Commissar never finds out about the whole conscription-dodging thing (pfft, who are we kidding? His family totally reported him and his gang will be conscripted solely for the Commissar to execute him).

'''Mekki:''' What happens when you cross a [[tech-priest]] with Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. (...so "Young Sheldon"?) He hails from [[Mars]] and is described as an [[Heretek|inventor]], due to his creation of a small robotic swarm that assist him with certain duties. His right arm is paralyzed, so instead of doing the normal, cool Mechanicus thing and replacing it with cybernetics he decides to just build a brace to help him move it. Omnissiah only knows why he wasn't forcefully re-purposed as a [[servitor]] for his blatant tech-heresy yet, especially considering he's from Mars; even on backwater Forge Worlds things like Vorax Automata are shunned and forbidden because of their animalistic intelligence. This goes double as this is post-Great Rift, where Guilliman's protection of Cawl's tech heresies (one of which includes AI-tech) has the AdMech inching closer to another civil war.

'''Fleapit the [[Jokaero]]''': Yes, a frigging techno space-ape is in this book series and it is helping the children. Yes, his name is "Fleapit". Apparently Cavan Scott thought that what 40k really needed to bring in the kiddies was Scooby-Doo.

'''[[Space Marines]]:''' Here as usual. Depicted in [[Primaris Marines|Primary-sue]] armour, so this bright and happy tale is happening post-[[Great Rift]]. Naturally, they're using the [[Ultramarines|Ultrasmurfs]], as they're "[[Matt Ward|bravest of all the heroic Space Marines]]", and not because they're just the most easily recognizable Chapter that gets the most publicity, honest.

'''[[Necrons]]:''' The cold and unfeeling [[Derp|"enslaving tyrants"]] we all know and purge, probably chosen because killing robots is much more family-friendly than shooting at living things, and some of their [[Gauss|primary weapons]] kill cleanly too. Less retarded than it sounds, since Wardcrons have enough variation in their personalities that some random Phaeron keeping Enfleshed as pets makes perfect sense, especially considering [[Trazyn]]'s "collection." Ol' Trollzyn as an evil space collector who traps living beings to keep as exhibits in his space museum would actually make him a pretty good kid-adventure villain (possibly leaving out the eternal agony parts in regards to some of his captives).

=== Age of Sigmar ===

'''Elio:''' Token black kid from the realm of life. His medical skills are "second to none," presumably among his age bracket of a mere 14 years. Obsessive about [[Drycha|plants]], but apparently interested in all critters great and small, up to and including monsters like [[manticore]]s. Also, he's not much of a fighter - because that's not a concern with giant man-eating monsters, right? Basically the embodiment of the gentle giant/pacifist healer trope, in a setting where people like that exist to be fed to Chaos warriors to show the audience how evil they are.

'''Alish:''' A 12-year old from the Realm of Light, who is "restless, inquisitive and highly intelligent" and has the instinctive ability to repair "almost any mechanical device." She also loves inventing and has apparently designed and built everything from clocks to airships, despite being 12. Mary Sue classic. And to make her extra stupid, the one thing she refuses to build is weapons, despite A) walking around with a sodding huge hammer and B) living in the monster-and-barbarian-filled world of AoS where access to weapons can and will save lives. Basically Zelia, but in fantasy.

'''Kiri:''' At fifteen, she seems to be the oldest of the bunch, coming from the realm of metal. Kiri is "as strong and steadfast as steel" who was raised in the barbarian slave camps of Aqshy (because the whole character would probably have been a lot different if it was a Slanneshi warband) where she learned to fight as soon as she could walk. "Somehow this harsh life hasn't made her cruel or resentful" - direct quote, and we're pretty bloody surprised too. She uses a slingshot. She fought in Chaos gladiator pits '''and won''' with a ''slingshot''. Not a [[sling]], which can do some actual damage, a toy slingshot. This is just silly. Before you bring up David, leaving aside the element of divine aid which depends on one's beliefs, at least he fought one giant in a 1-v-1 challenge not several and he had a real weapon. A real weapon that was well known for being able to damage armor despite what you might think, was used against a target not wearing armor, and David himself was extremely skilled with a sling due to needing to for his livelihood.

'''Thanis:''' A 12-year old gal from the realm of Fire. The big sister type of the group who protects her friends.

'''Kreech:''' A cunning Skaven packlord of the clan Quickfang YES YES. An unusual Skaven who has adopted the man-thing's behavior and their ability to be creative, very unusual since most Skaven look down on anything that's not Skaven. Currently scheming with a heretical woman-thing in order to gain more power in the man-thing hierarchy. He also owns a man-thing play-thing called Scratch. YES YES.

'''Scratch:''' A 12-year old from realm of Beast and currently Kreech's plaything; his true name is forgotten. Like how [[Leman Russ]] and [[Lion El'Johnson]] was raised by the wild and had adopted it's behavior, Scratch has adopted Skaven's cunning thinking and has fashion himself to be like one of them.

'''[[Stormcast Eternals]]:''' As they are. Nothing particularly odd or inaccurate in their bio blurb - they even mentioned the whole "died and was reborn" bit.

'''Darkoath Barbarians:''' One of many tribes serving <s>[[Chaos]]</s> [[Derp|the forces of Evil]] (they're probably lumping all non-Order Grand Alliances into one big "bad guys" group, because Order ''totally'' lacks [[Drycha|any]] [[Daughters of Khaine|dark]] [[Idoneth Deepkin|side]]). Plundering, pillaging, enslaving... typical villain stuff. Their name is still less stupid than 99% of what GW Legal's shat out, though.

==Reception==
Initial reception has been [[Skub|polarizing]], to say the least. Many consider this series a futile attempt to dilute the grimdarkness of both Warhammer settings to try and appeal to a younger demographic, with the slim but worrying possibility of the dumbing-down and "modern" approach to writing working its way into the setting proper in a greedy lunge for Daddy's credit card. ([[End Times|It's not like GW isn't known for terrible ideas, after all.]]) Characters hating weaponry, gleefully searching xenotech and running away from conscription in 40k certainly don't give people that much confidence, leading to pointed questions regarding how they would deal with darker groups like Dark Eldar/Elves, Daughter of Khaine, Idoneth Deepkin, Chaos, Undead or Tyranids; when asked, Black Library deflected the question or gave non-answers to the effect of "very carefully." There's also the argument that many kids prefer fantasizing about characters older than them (i.e they hope that they might grow up to be like them), and that by making the protagonists kids, they are invariably just making it corny and unappealing to the very audience they want to attract (as if the protagonists are their age, they already have no chance of becoming them).

It's also inevitable that some parents will catch on to the fact that these kid-friendly adventures actually take place in a universe where the literal gods are embodiment of concepts like genocide and sexual violence. Less abstractly, Warhammer is full of things like [[Dark Eldar|race-wide mandated mass torture]], machines who [[Flayed Ones|wear the flayed and bloody flesh of their foes]], and [[Daemonculaba|horrifically mutated]] [[/pol/|sub-sapient]] [[Skaven|breeding slaves]]. Daddy and Mommy are going to be upset when they realize just what Warhammer is actually like. For once in human history, the parents who just bought their kids something which causes permanent psychological damage will have a valid point when they blame the company that sold it to them. Of course, all the above is moot if GW ends up depicting a comparatively whitewashed version of the setting with most of the nastier parts stripped out or otherwise not alluded to directly, but that still doesn't stop the kids from stumbling over the unabridged versions anyway (and their parents putting two and two together from there).

Defenders argue that this could be an opportunity to flesh out groups and aspects of the setting that often get ignored, showing positive aspects of the galaxy in a setting so focused on grimdark. There's also the possibility of new mini-lines being produced, probably somewhat cheaper than the mainline series to not scare children (or their parents) away, which could help flesh out the more neglected armies, assuming they don't just keep drowning us in Spacesigmarines and Stormhammer shit because that's what Marketing wants to sell. And the most obvious benefit being that parent gamers will be able to introduce their younger children to the setting with age-appropriate material before weening them into the more mature stuff (like it is meant for ages 8-12, older people aren't suppose to like it) thus giving young kids more options.

Considering that GW themselves have said that their ideal demographic is “an intelligent 18 year old,” it's somewhat baffling why they’ve chosen to write for a demographic so young. At best, they should have started with young teens, giving them more room to stay closer to the grimdark of 40k while still being able to pull back. Perhaps their reasoning is that younger kids are easier to sell merchandise to, which is probably true if properties like Skylanders are anything to go by. That being said, we don’t know what’s GW’s long-term strategies are for drawing in and maintaining this younger demographic, or what the parent’s reactions will be when their kids start screaming “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD” or “HERESY” at every opportunity.

The positive reception of the initial books dashed the hope that poor sales would put an end to the series before it could start, so for better or worse we're stuck with it.

For those mythical players of Warhammer with kids, many have reported to actually enjoy having the books to connect on another level with their kids and thus doom them to a future of plastic crack much like them. Or in more serious words, if you have kids who like to read and you want to introduce them to the hobby and setting then these books might be a good way to go and help them get better marks in their reading classes. Or you could just stick them with ''Path of the Archon'', it's really up to your own discretion.

In all honesty the books aren't that bad. It's certainly toned down a lot from the usual 40K fare, but so was Ciaphas Cain HERO OF THE IMPERIUM! The plot of the first book is rather suspenseful, Ultramarines getting killed by Necrons. Most of the book is the main characters running for their lives from a Deathmark. You can argue that no kids, no matter how skilled, could outrun a Deathmark. But then the plot wouldn't happen and a story that lasts 3 pages wouldn't sell. Besides how many of us got into our fandom of choice because we read a book on it as a kid? Then again, that kind of indicates this whole "Warhammer stories for kids" idea is doomed to fail.

==Gallery of Memes==
One of the few unambiguously good things to spring from the announcement of Warhammer Adventures is the number of lulzy images produced by /tg/ as anons interpret what little they know in their own "unique" way.
<gallery>
File:WHAdventuresWTF.jpg|Everyone's first reaction upon reading Zelia's bio
File:WHA-Commissar.jpg|The Commissar's first reaction upon reading Talen's bio
File:WHA-Mekki.gif|The Mechanicus' first reaction upon reading Mekki's bio
File:WHA-TheNecroning.png|How the Necron book should've ended
File:WHA-ChaosSchoolbus.jpg|"Hey kids! Today we're going to learn about MURDERFUCKING!"
File:WHA-Scooby.jpg|"Jeepers! It was old man Abbadon the whole time!"
File:Warhammer Adventures.jpg|They ripped-off the rip-off!
File:WHA-Thanos.jpeg|This is why you don't play in front of the anti-tank guns, kids.
File:90EE3FA4-8EF1-43A7-AE7A-6CC30E92D56D.jpeg|Preview of the upcoming Dark Eldar book
File:Look_what_i_found_mom%2C_an_alien%21.jpg| Look what I found, mom, an alien! Can we keep it?
File:WHA-ZeliaLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Zelia (one step closer to canon with the upcoming "Claws of the Genestealer" book)
File:WHA-TalenLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Talen
File:WHA-MekkiLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Mekki
File:Warhammer adventures.jpg|A sneak peek into the secret psyker character.
File:WHA-Chaos.jpg|"The spiky guy said he'd take us all over the galaxy, surely we can trust him!"
File:Change.jpg|Pictured; Zelia's father, Zelia's father's second-in-command, unnamed warrior from the Kabal of the Black Heart.
File:HardLife41.jpg|Life in the 41st Millenium is [[Derp| hard]].
File:WHA-Ultramarines.jpg|Meet the Ultramarines. Not exactly children when recruited if you've killed a dozen enemy warriors to get noticed.
File:WHA-Trooper.png|Bio of the fan favorite character, Trooper 3959-9945.
File:WHAIntroduction.jpeg|Sage advice on how 40k should be introduced to children.
File:Warhammer-adventures-orgy.png|Child-friendly content.
File:Absolutely_assblasted.png|Maybe it's not so bad after all
</gallery>
[[Category:Games Workshop]]
[[Category:Literature]]
[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Black Library]]
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Sylvaneth

2020-06-19T05:36:54Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:8DC8:2517:CC8C:DA28: /* The Glades */

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Sylvaneth|Logo=Most Friendly Being In Sylvaneth.jpg|Alliance=Order|Motto=WALKING TREES I TELL YOU! WALKING TREES!}}

{{Topquote|Tom's words laid bare the hearts of trees and their thoughts, which were often dark and strange, and filled with a hatred of things that go free upon the earth, gnawing, biting, breaking, hacking, burning: destroyers and usurpers. It was not called the Old Forest without reason, for it was indeed ancient, a survivor of vast forgotten woods; and in it there lived yet, ageing no quicker than the hills, the fathers of the fathers of trees, remembering times when they were lords. The countless years had filled them with pride and rooted wisdom, and with malice.|J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring}}
{{Topquote|Going up that river was like travelling back to the earliest beginnings of the world, when vegetation rioted on the earth and the big trees were kings. An empty stream, a great silence, an impenetrable forest. The air was warm, thick, heavy, sluggish. There was no joy in the brilliance of sunshine. The long stretches of the waterway ran on, deserted, into the gloom of overshadowed distances. [...] And this stillness of life did not in the least resemble a peace. It was the stillness of an implacable force brooding over an inscrutable intention. It looked at you with a vengeful aspect.|Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness}}
{{Topquote|Tarik backed away from the Bloodbound assault, stumbling and falling to the forest floor. Throughout the wood his brother Freeguilders were likewise breaking before the Chaos assault, men falling back between the trees as armoured shapes chased them down. Suddenly, a Chaos Warrior loomed over him, a crimson shape blotting out the sky. He raised his shield but his foe smashed it aside before raising an impossibly large axe to cut Tarik down. Then the trees moved. Roots and vines shot out of the shadows like thorny serpents, enveloping his attacker. Elsewhere in the gloom Tarik heard the screams and curses of the Chaos horde as new adversaries joined the fray. The Bloodbound lashed out at the branches as they struck, but it was as if the whole world had turned against them. Tarik watched, transfixed, as the vines tightened around the killer that moments ago had been poised to end his life. Appearing as if out of norwhere, the Dryad embraced her victim, his bones snapping at her touch. As the broken Chaos Warrior fell to the ground, Tarik looked into the Dryad's Eyes and felt a cold chill run down his spine.|Age of Sigmar}}

The '''Sylvaneth''', children of the goddess [[Alarielle]], have suffered greatly under the yoke of the Dark Gods. Their emerald kingdoms and woodland refuges in the Realm of Life have been infected and ravaged by the vile servants of Nurgle, until little but rot and decay remains. As Sigmar's tempest rolls out across the realms, a new age of hope is dawning, and the treefolk stir within their devastated forests and glades, taking up arms once more against those who have invaded their lands. However, this is not an ironbound contract. It is not unheard of for a slight misunderstanding to cause the Sylvaneth to depart from their erstwhile allies, or even attack them should they appear to threaten lands the Sylvaneth hold Sacred.

They were well-received upon their release, due to being one of the first factions unique to Age of Sigmar and being seen as a refreshing break from the near-constant focus on Sigmarines vs Chaos. It helps that one of their mainstay units (Kurnoth Hunters) are one of the best value units in AoS.

==History==
===Age of Myth===
The sylvaneth are the offspring of the goddess Alarielle, Queen of the Radiant Wood and ruler of [[Ghyran]]. Early in the Age of Myth Alarielle went around sowing soulpods, spirits she had saved from the World-That-Was. These formed into the first Sylvaneth. During this time, Alarielle sang a spirit-song, and this resounds in the souls of all Sylvaneth to this day, and through it Alarielle can communicate directly with them in Ghyran. The song of Sylvaneth helps bind them together as a united people, stopping them from struggling against one another not based on oppression but genuine feelings of unity. There was danger, of course, from rampaging beasts and hostile barbarian tribes. However, there were various spirits, most notably the Kurnoth Hunters, who formed the warrior caste and dealt with these threats while the others, most of all the Dryads, could nurture the lands and live in peace.

Alarielle looked upon her creations and knew peace at last. During this time, [[Sigmar]] found her and invited her to be part of his Pantheon, which she accepted. Time passed, and the children of the Radiant Wood spread beyond the bounds of Ghyran. Whether by soulpod seeds carried through Realmgates, or by the staging of deliberate expeditions, Sylvaneth enclaves sprung up across all the Mortal Realms, even realms less conducive to life, such as metallic Chamon and deathly Shyish.

These lands proved more dangerous than Ghyran. Entire sylvaneth clans were lost to war and catastrophe. Still, the sylvaneth prevailed and spread. There was one hazard they could not have planned for though; once beyond the Realmgates,the sylvaneth found themselves cut off from the spirit-song of their mother. The sylvaneth who travelled to new realms could still perceive the spirit-song that echoed from within, but they found themselves islands of harmony amidst a terrible silence. Some went mad, while others fled back to the comfort of their heartglades. Tales are still told of the terrible season in which Silverthorn Glade was lost altogether. Those sylvaneth who endured sought out those places in the new lands where life magic flowed the strongest. In these places of power, they planted soulpod groves and sank their realmroots deep; the realmroots being magical paths to travel accessible only to them.

These were places of ethereal pulchritude. The vast Hunter’s Moon, the Singing Mountains, the Citycaverns of Briardell and countless others echoed the beautiful wonder of the sylvaneth homeland.

===Age of Chaos===
They suffered grievously at the hands of the forces of Chaos. Nurgle, with his fixation on life and Alarielle's similarity to Shallya from the World-That-Was, focused his efforts on Ghyran and directed nearly all of his forces there, also seeking to claim Alarielle for himself.
So swiftly did Nurgle’s spawn multiply that tides of squirming terrors were soon sweeping across the lands at an unstoppable pace. The Queen of the Radiant Wood rose to repel this foul invasion, and a war began unlike any other. Renewal battled entropy, healing magic fought infection.

During the Age of Chaos the first appearances of the Outcasts among the Sylvaneth - the Spite-Revenants - occurred, in a period referred to as the "Shrouded Season". = No one but Alarielle knows the details, because she purposefully deleted this from the Sylvaneth's memory on a racial level, including the Outcasts themselves, and refused to talk about it ever since. No one knows why Alarielle did this but her, and it makes them uncomfortable to think about across the board.

All this time Alarielle had held onto Drycha's soulpod. She was conflicted about planting Drycha, fearing Drycha's madness and the harm she might wreak if freed but also concerned Drycha was a necessary darkness and that she was weakening the Sylvaneth by not including her. When she reached her lowest point during this Age, Alarielle headed to a hateful chasm and planted Drycha's soulpod there. Drycha emerged with a body of vines and thorn-root, torn between rage and depression, though she took the fight to the forces of Chaos, they were only slowed down, not stopped.

By the end of the Age of Chaos, all Sylvaneth had become warriors. Every Sylvaneth who wasn't a fighter had either taken up arms and learned to fight or been killed off.

===Age of Sigmar===
The Necroquake had less of an effect on the Sylvaneth than most of the other races, but they were still effected. The Gnarlroot Sylvaneth, who specialized in studying magic, devoted their efforts to studying the Necroquake and alleviating its effects where they could.

Recently, the events of the Stormvaults have revealed a new threat to Ghyran. There are objects called Black Seeds that sprout trees called Black Oaks that have a deterimental effect on the Realm of Life. Worse, the followers of Nurgle have found them and are starting to cultivate them all over Ghyran. It's mentioned Sigmar hid them in vaults in Ghyran for some reason and that Alarielle will be mad at him when/if she finds out what Sigmar did. It's hinted this could strain the Grand Alliance of Order, especially since Teclis is already mad at Sigmar for taking and repurposing some of his old tools from Hysh while Malerion and Morathi are plotting against Sigmar for their own gain.

==The Glades==
* '''Oakenbrow''': Said to be the First Glade, whose ancestors sprang from the very first soulpods planted by Alarielle. Have a strong sense of justice. Considered arrogant by some Sylvaneth - particularly Sylaneth from the Gnarlroot and Dreadwood wargroves, most see them as noble-minded.
* '''Gnarlroot''': Old beyond mortal thought, strange and grim in thought and deed – they care only for lore and the hidden secrets of ancient things. The magic-heavy Sylvaneth. They're one of the more traditionalist wargroves, though they're more open to allying with non-Sylvaneth if they're wizards or scholars. Their leader, the Old King of Gnarlroot Glade AKA Grum King Ithil-spond, claims to have been podborn during Alarielle’s first sowing alongside the first Oakenbrow Sylvaneth.
* '''Heartwood''': The clans of Heartwood Glade are said to be the most courageous and determined of all the Sylvaneth. They worship Kurnoth alongside Alarielle, and so have lots of Kurnoth Hunters. They're constantly at war with the enemies of the Sylvaneth as they see it as a disservice to Kurnoth to ever abandon the hunt. Despite this, they're very honorable and loyal and aren't cruel, just resolute.
* '''Ironbark''': The Dorfiest Sylvaneth. Originating from Chamon, the Ironbark clans are known for their tenacity and resilience, and are famous for weathering the most extreme of circumstances without complaint. They are skilled at drawing up precious metals and ores from the soil. These traits and a familiar attitude have led to strong alliances between them and the Dwarfs, being the only trees that Dwarfs like. During the Age of Chaos, they helped many Dwarves to escape the onslaught of Chaos by either leading them through realmgates to Azyr or to the tops of the highest mountains in Chamon, the latter of which would go on to become the Kharadron Overlords.
* '''Winterleaf''': The melancholy Sylvaneth. The spirits of Winterleaf Glade are fey and melancholy, given to fatalism and introspection. They had the most beautiful of places, but after Nurgles forces destroyed those places they got a major sad that's lasted ever since. But rather than making them lose hope, they fight for revenge against the forces of Chaos and will ally with anyone who can help them get revenge. They've also developed a strong affinity for and tolerance of cold temperatures, making their new homes in icy regions and glaciers.
* '''Dreadwood''': The most sadistic Sylvaneth. More vengeful than the Winterleaf, more xenophobic than the Gnarlroot and fear is their primary weapon. Utterly merciless, they're suspected of being the source of the Outcasts and have more in their number than any other Wargrove. They are led by Drycha, who serves as a de-facto leader since she's more interested in her campaign of genocide than rulership.
* '''Harvestboon''': The only ones born during the Age of Chaos, but surprisingly not unhappy about it. They're vibrant and optimistic, seeking to heal the damage done to Ghyran. The Branchwraiths of Harvestboon clans are known for the flowing beauty and power of their songs and spellcraft, and the Willowqueen sings strongest of all. Leading her kin to one deadly conflict after another, the warrior regent seeks a future free from Chaos, and she will lead Harvestboon through any danger to win that prize. Their numbers are growing rapidly, especially with Alarielle's rebirth. In fact, they grwo at such a blistering speed, they muster ''several'' new wargroves, complete armies with Forest Folk and Noble spirits every single ''day.'' They likely have the largest amount of Arch-Revenants.

==The Spirits of the Forest==
There are more Sylvaneth than just the treespirits, sprites (spites in AOS) are Sylvaneth, the spirits that possess deadwood to forge bodies out of it (treekin) are Sylvaneth, the ghosts and fae creatures of the glades are Sylvaneth. They ARE good people overall, with most of them having noble desires and despise chaos. Even the sadistic and racist ones will side with the good guys to fight the bad guys. It's just that they're so alien to others that the alliance is always quite strained. They're difficult to interact with, not just because of the language barrier. They do not like you, they don't think like you and they don't live and die like you. Your concerns are extremely alien to them just like they are to you; Sylvaneth in general don't care for glory, expanding borders or making money but instead are mainly concerned with ensuring the safety and cycles of the natural world are upheld. Some things Sylvaneth do share with others is that they build cities, work metal and stone and create artworks, tapestries and furniture. They are also unfathomably long lived. It is likely they only die due to violence or specific diseases, and even then some of them even have their souls in a part of them called a "soulpod" that can undergo a sort of reincarnation.

Despite these alliances, most Sylvaneth do not like mortals/non-Sylvaneth, usually calling them "Quickbloods" (a category that includes daemons, despite them not being mortal). They consider the Quickbloods to be short sighted, flippant, brief and unable to comprehend the importance of their extremely long term plans and the real meaning of everything. Some of said mortals that they will treat with include the aelves of the Idoneth Deepkin, duardin and humans. One of the reasons is because some of them worship Alarielle even if some of the humans also worship Sigmar. They used to be close allies with the Wanderers, who were formerly known as the Wood Elves. During the Age of Chaos the Wanderers chickened out and fled the battle, abandoning Alarielle and the Sylvaneth of Ghyran to the forces of Chaos. For that, Alarielle banished them from Ghyran and they earned the hatred of the Sylvaneth. For centuries they lived out a mission of repentance, planting waystones so that the forests of Ghyran can sprout in other mortal realms. During the Age of Sigmar when Alarielle built The Living City, she forgave the Wanderers for fleeing, and they were allowed to return to Ghyran and live there. They Sylvaneth themselves are divided, since though the military alliance has been restored some are still salty over the past desertion.

Also, the disparity in sentience can be pretty huge between different castes. For simplicity's sake, this will cover the ones who are playable in the game and any spites that hang out with them.

===Forest Folk===
*'''Dryads''' are lead by the wraiths, who act as druidic spiritual leaders and chieftains. Back in the day, they were the civilians, peaceful caretakers, gardeners and surrogate mothers to orphaned animals. In the Age of Myth it was extremely rare for them to be called to war. The Forest Folk who were not capable of war were driven extinct more or less by the forces of Nurgle, however. For many, life is very nomadic. Constant bouts of fleeing and hiding from the forces of Chaos. They're VERY mercurial as positive qualities among the survivors, such as joy and cheer, faded as they fought to stay alive. Sing a lot. Dryads as part of the living body that is the forest are best described akin to an immunity system and wound healing enzymes. They care for the flora and fauna with loving care, to heal the wounds time and Chaos have dealt to their home. Yet if an intruder is detected (and you will) they switch and act like white blood cells. You are the virus, the forest is the body, and the Dryad is your doom. This is an instinctual behaviour and they dont personally hate you, just as little as the leukocytes when they embrace the virus in order to protect the body.
*'''Branchwraiths''' are matriarchal and maternal figures. They're the primary "nodes" of the sylvaneth's song. a sort of mass communication method of the race. Among these teeming armies stand the branchwraiths, sorcerers who can rouse the woods themselves to fight alongside the Sylvaneth. Enchanted oaks burst from the ground and vines move among the enemy like venomous snakes. When not at war, they are absoloutely crucial for the Sylvaneths survival, as they are the primary care takers of the soulpd groves, the nursery and birthplace of all Sylvaneth. Like mothers they guide their wandering daughters in case a Dryad gets lost. In terms of the social order, Branchwraiths are on par with the Treelords, heads of their respective branch.
Forest Folk never carry a Lamentiri in their bodies, but particularly old and battle-experienced Wraiths take a leaf out of the Noble Spirits way of life, echoing their greatness.

===Noble Spirits===
Noble Spirits are set apart form the Forest Folk in their posession of a Lamentiri, basically a blackbox in the form of a seed that may be replanted in the Glades and lans Soulpod Grove to share its knowledge with the future generations and Treelords add another bit of wisdom to thei successors - CCTV footage from every battle ever fought. Every single impression, every twist in the spiritsong that informs new troop movements, every blow dealt, every loss of life, every decision made is recorded and stored so it can be reviewd later to not make the same mistake twice. The Lamentiri are harvested by Branchwyches after the Battle from the fallen Nobles.

*'''Tree Revenants''' are sombre. They make up the primary warrior caste of the Sylvaneth and are peace keepers, law enforcement and guardians. They're generally lead in groups with a Treeman and a Branchwych, a so called Household.
*'''Branchwyches''' are powerful druidic figures whose sorcery and combat skill is highly respected. They are short-tempered, but keep it in check towards higher ranking Sylvaneth and Alarielle (though most subordinates give them due respect so rarely experience this temper). They have a special relationship with spites; in the eyes of the wyches, the little creatures can do no wrong and the Sprites are very fond of the wyches, coming to their aid en mass.
*'''Treelords''' make up the nobility of the clans. Treelords are the most well known of the Noble Spirits and serve purposes like Royal Guards, Librarians, lords and military captains. All sylvaneth love them as fathers/mothers and would only disobey one in extreme cases. Huge swarms of Sprites make their home among the branches of the Treelords, nestled in their bark hides. They're inherently compassionate. They have an extremely deep connection to the spirit song. They communicate with one another in songs made up of streams of color and sensation, made into language. [[Awesome|The forest itself recognizes them and literally bows down to them whenever they pass.]] Any human would see them as incredibly old, but their elders consider them reckless like teenager and too easily roused to wrath.
*'''Treelord Ancients''' are the Kings and Queens of the Sylvaneth. They're the most powerful mages, the masters of life magic, they have an inner serenity that persists no matter what it is they're doing, including while on the battlefield that they sing to other sylvaneth. They're extremely meticulous, every detail of their extremely long lives is committed to memory. They know the name of every sylvaneth they rule over and spend their lives amassing knowlege into their lamentiri to ensure that future generations can benefit from their experience.

Both of these noble spirits are extremely prone to deeply exemplifying the eccentricities of their glade. EG harvestboon treelords and ancients are very slight and lithe, but extremely passionate quick to rage and mirth. Ironbark treelords tend to have veins of ore in their wood that makes them glitter while being unreasonably stubborn. Dreadwood treelords are vicious and untrustworthy even in the eyes of other sylvaneth.

===Free Spirits===
The Free Spirits are much more directly administrated by Alarielle:

*'''Spirits of Durthu''' are carry their Everqueens word throughout her realm as law and speak with her authority. Unlike other spirits the Free Spirits arent confined to a glade and instead roam around to lend their wisdom and consderable brawn to all in need, as well as dispatching new orders from the royal court. Wielding massive Guardian Swords only few can hope to be on the opposing side of the battlefield and live to tell the tale of a giant tree felling foes by the dozens and using said sword as a magic missile weapon. The Sons of Durthu are Alarielles chosen generals, advicsors and bodyguard, giving sage council and even disagreeing with their goddess to make the best plans for the entire race. These individuals live every day trying to meet his stalwart example, with fierce loyalty and martial might. They have an innate understanding with every other Son of Durthu, akin to a shared consciousness.
*'''Kurnoth Hunters''' are the "Hunter cult" of the Sylvaneth. While they're their own caste of treecreature (hulking warriors much taller than a man) they worship [[Kurnous|Kurnoth]] as Alarielle's "Soul-Consort" and equal seeing themselves as embodiment of his wrath as the Sons are to Alarielle. They're the second-newest caste, they didn't arise until Alarielle picked up the spear of Kurnous well into the Age of Sigmar. Hunters are purposeful, driven and almost single minded unlike the bipolar personalities or capricious whimsy of other Sylvaneth. They act as Spies, scouts and frontline murdermachines. They're considered very strange creatures by other Sylvaneth who have a hard time understanding their single minded and taciturn natures. Like Treelords and Branchwraiths the spiritsong is especially powerful in them and they reverberate with it. While most Sylvaneth worship seasonal demigods in addition to Alarielle, but Kurnoth Hunters are the only ones to do openly another god, Kurnoth. Alarielle says this is fine and that's enough for most Sylvaneth. The Heartwood galde does everything they can to accomodate the Hunters.
The Hunt Master of Kurnoth is a recent addition to the Royal Moot. It's baffling for non-Sylvaneth to try and understand his purpose. Some sort of hybrid position of Spy Master, Martial Advisor, High Priest of Kurnoth and Captain of the Royal Guard. Often times a completely random Hunter will take his place with only Alarielle knowing if it's really the Huntmaster. It's unclear if the Huntmaster is a spirit that temporarily possesses a Hunter, or Kurnoth himself making individual hunters his avatar temporarily. The regents of the sylvaneth are very distrustful of the Hunt Master, especially Dreadwood who consider him a clingy upstart. The Forest Folk and many Noble Spirits consider the Kurnoth Hunters to be outsiders to the Glades, unlike them, almost alien, but their might in battle earns them respect, instead of trust.
*'''Arch-Revenants''' are a new type of Sylvaneth. During the events that led to the Nercoquake, Alarielle looked at Nagash's designs and the undead ravaging Ghyran and got reminded of the ravages Nurgle and the followers of Chaos. However, [[Awesome|this time she resolved not to dwindle or hide like last time and decided to go on the offensive against the threat]]. To this end she planted the soulpods that became Arch-Revenants, and enlisting the help of Zephyspites, bugs with giant wings, to carry her new captains into the fray. They fuel the warlike parts of the Sylvaneth spirit song, but without the sadism or insanity that can be found among the Outcasts.

===Outcasts===
The Outcasts are unsettling. Deeply so for mortals, but almost as much for the Sylvaneth. The Sylvaneth don't know where they come from, don't know how they're made, don't even know if they're not a reflection of the Sylvaneth made dark by Alarielle's vengeful desires. Many believe them to be Sylvaneth who caved into despair during the war in Ghyran against [[Nurgle]], others see in them the attempt of spites trying to become Sylvaneth. Alarielle decided to give her entire race amnesia in this regard and keeps this secret to herself. Spite-Revenants are insane, literally. They're deaf to all but the darkest and most malevolent parts of the sylvaneth's song, dwell in gloomy and unsettling glades. Some Sylvaneth fear the outcasts madness is infectious. Where Dryads and other Sylvaneth sing, Spite Revenants "Scream a sawing, nerve-shredding cacophony of horror and hate fit to drive mortal minds beyond the brink of sanity." Murderous butchers all, they commonly soak themselves and their roots in blood and torture their enemies. For fun, if they can experience such an emotion.

*'''[[Drycha]]''' considers herself to be their regent, like the Willowqueen is the regent of Harvestboon or the Old King of Gnarlroot. Drycha and the Outcasts are far more than just racist. [[Nazi|They want to purge all non-Sylvaneth]], but they will ally with non-Sylvaneth in the short-term [[Just As Planned|if it helps genocide them in the long term]]. The malevolent and cruel sprites love her. She and the Spite-Revenants are warriors and distrusted if not hated by all other Treefolk.

==Notable Places==
===The Living City===
Raised by Lady Alarielle the Everqueen from the stone and Ironoak of the Jade Kingdom, the Living City is a natural bulwark against the savage powers of the realms, a mighty woodland city ringed by thorn-studded towers and walls of choking vines. It was the first of three fortified cities that would find themselves under siege by the forces of brutality and disorder during the bloody season of war. After a vicious campaign, the battle was won, as the city itself stirred to life to crush and tear its foes apart. In the wake of this victory the boughs of the living city have continued to reach ever outwards, forming new perimeter walls of venom tipped thorns and canopy-districts of winding, oaken pathways. Artisans and craftsmen flock to the Living City, fashioning wondrous artifacts and weapons from its sturdy ironoak branches. The city's hunters are renowned as some of the finest woodsmen and trackers in the realms, and their ironoak longbows loose arrows with unerring accuracy.

The Living City stands as a symbol of the great alliance between the people of the God-King Sigmar and the Lady Alarielle, and its citizens are attuned like few others to the wonders - and dangers - of nature. From an early age, the wardens of the city learn the arts of woodcraft and tracking, mastering the ability to move at pace while leaving barely a sign of their passing. In the depths of the forest and upon the battlefield, the shadows are a powerful ally. Warriors of the Living City pass unseen until the moment they strike, cutting down their prey in a pinpoint storm of arrows. Graceful, inhuman forms lead the city's armies to battle: Sylvaneth, separate but always close to their mortal allies, honoring the alliance between Sigmar and the Lady Alarielle. Though the guardians of the Living City are fine trackers in their own right, they know little of the ancient places of the realms, the primordial paths through nature that the everqueen's children still recall. Should battle be joined, the Sylvaneth will willingly lay down their lives alongside humans, Duardin and Aelves, sacrificing themselves for the cause of order.

===The Scoured Forest===
A region of the Realm of Fire, once inhabited by Sylvaneth. A sprawling land of carboniferous forests, this place was the site of a cataclysmic battle against the Skaven of Clan Skyre. The conflict left the land its self scarred and seared for ages to come, as the ratmen's engines of destruction washed the forests in flames and ignited the volatile gasses that permeated the swampland. CLouds of ash billow across this land, so thick that one can barely see more than a few hundred yards ahead.

==Soulbound==
In [[Age of Sigmar Roleplay]], it's established that Sylvaneth Soulbound are extremely rare, because the rite of binding is both a great gift and a solemn, terrible burden. The gift is that, ironically, the binding frees the Sylvaneth from the defined role that each individual Sylvaneth was literally born to fulfill, as well as granting them the opportunity to see the beauty of the realms and attain an understanding of non-Sylvaneth races that would otherwise be impossible. The cost is that, just as Soulbound of the other races are sterilized, Sylvaneth Soulbound lose their lamentiri - the generational memories that an individual Sylvaneth carries from its ancestors and returns to the groves with their death to become part of the next generation. To become a Soulbound, then, means that Sylvaneth is the end of their entire lineage; their memories and the part they filled in the Spirit Song are forever lost by agreeing to undergo the Binding.

For this reason, only [[Alarielle]] will ask a Sylvaneth to become Soulbound - no other deity would dare to presume they have the right to do so - and she does so rarely. Those rare few aware of the nature of the Soulbound suggest that this is why the Everqueen prefers to sponsor human and aelven followers instead. But, when she must ask it of her firstborn, they invariably say "yes", for their entire race exists to serve her will.

A side-effect of this is that Sylvaneth are highly accepting of Soulbound from their own race. Non-Sylvaneth Soulbound who include a Sylvaneth amongst their Binding are thusly privileged to receive an unusually high amount of favor from the Sylvaneth, one that they seldom accord to outsiders.

In the corebook, Sylvaneth Soulbound have access to three Archetypes; the '''Branchwych''', the '''Kurnoth Hunter''' and the '''Tree-Revenant Waypiper'''.

{{Template:Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}
[[Category:Wood Elves]]

Fyreslayers

2020-06-19T05:07:27Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:8DC8:2517:CC8C:DA28: /* Culture */

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Fyreslayers|Logo=Fyreslayer-Magmadroth-art1.jpeg|Alliance=Order|Motto=Blood and gold!}}

{{Topquote|Money is both the generation and corruption of purchased honor; honor is both the child and slave of potent money; the credit which honor hath lost, money hath found. When honor grew mercenary, money grew honorable. The way to be truly noble is to contemn both.|Francis Quarles}}

The Fyreslayers are the Duardin followers of [[Grimnir]]. They scour the realms for their precious Ur-Gold, which is also the scattered fragments of Grimnir’s corpse combined with the molten blood of a giant magma lizard godbeast. Because of this, they’re a lot more mercenary-like than their [[Slayers|forbearers]] in the Old World. They were initially less-than-liked when they were first released (due to both their large orange mohawks and stark difference to the slayers of old), but have since then been ''grudgingly'' accepted.

==History==

===Age of Myth===
According to Fyreslayer myth, they originated as the mortal descendants of Grimnir. During this time, Grimnir directly dwelled among his worshippers, but this state of affairs would not last for long. Grimnir and his brother god [[Grungni]] were imprisoned in the event known as the Thagduegi, or Great Betrayal, the exact nature of which has long since been forgotten. This was until [[Sigmar]] came to rescue them, and in exchange Grimnir demanded to repay the favor immediately. Sigmar decided to have Grimnir slay the powerful salamander Godbeast Vulcatrix. The epic duel between Vulcatrix and Grimnir ended in their mutual destruction, in a colossal explosion that turned the Hills of Aqshy into the Plains of Aqshy and scatter their remains across the world, where they would turn into gold and the eggs of Magmadroths.

[[File:Grimnir vs Vulcatrix.jpg|thumb|center|600px|The final moments of Grimnir and Vulcatrix.]]

The worshippers of Grimnir immediately began gathering the gold (which they called Ur-Gold) as sacred relics. Although they initially attempted to create enchanted weapons out of the substance, they quickly discovered the best way to tap into the true power of Ur-Gold was to forge into runes and painfully hammer it into their bodies, granting them superdwarfen strength and toughness. However, to those not of the Fyreslayer priesthood Ur-Gold and regular gold is indistinguishable. Thus, the Fyreslayers quickly became a culture of mercenaries, the only way to find their precious Ur-Gold being to sift through plenty of the regular kind.

===Age of Chaos===
During the Age of Chaos, the Fyreslayers were one of the few non-Chaos worshipping cultures that thrived. Even as the other Duardins were driven out of their Karaks, the Fyreslayers' warrior culture (and the superior defenses one has when you build a fortress inside active volcanos) allowed them to avoid being conquered (despite regular confrontations with Skaven and the Gloomspite Gitz) During this time, the Fyreslayers were often hired as mercenaries by those wishing to defend themselves from the Chaos hordes, but almost as often were hired by the Chaos hordes themselves. This combined with their isolationism meant that although they had many customers, they had few true allies.

===Age of Sigmar===
When the Age of Sigmar began during the Realmgate Wars, many Fyreslayers quickly became allies with the Stormcast Eternals, being one of the few major Order-aligned powers who weren't limited to Azyr nor in hiding. After the founding of the Free Cities, the Fyreslayers became more connected to the outside world, often setting up local branches within these cities.

The Necroquake would prove to be a tough time for the Fyreslayers, however. The repeated failed sieges during the Age of Chaos meant the outside of many Magmaholds were mass-graves, ripe to be resurrected as undead armies, and the lava-moats and walls that protected them didn't do a good job of stopping Nighthaunts that are flying and intangiable.

==Culture==
Fyreslayers are a warrior culture, and every male Fyreslayer is expected to serve in battle. While Fyreslayers may be miners or blacksmiths while they aren't fighting, these occupations have the sole purpose of supplying their armies with resources. Women are exempt from this, due to being much rarer than the men and thus too valuable to risk in battle, leading to the common misconception amongst outsiders that they have no women at all. Although, it has been mentioned in various stories that women fulfill other roles within the lodge, such as being Brew Matrons, brewing rather strong and fiery ale and grog that is said to be difficult for anyone who isn't a Fyreslayer to even swallow.

The gathering of Ur-Gold is seen as the highest religious pursuit. It is believed that when the power of Ur-Gold runes are exhausted, the energy escapes to where it will eventually coalesce back into Grimnir. As such, acquiring gold at any cost is seen as a necessary evil to allow the eventual reincarnation of their deity, and the use of runes in battle is seen as the highest form of prayer. Most outsiders don't know this secret, assuming Fyreslayers are just incredibly greedy and obsessive, since the Fyreslayers keep this information tightly guarded for fear that others will try to steal Grimnir's power for themselves.

Fyreslayers are divided into clans known as lodges. At the top is the Runefather, patriarch of the lodge, and directly below him are the Runesons, his many children who compete with each-other in hopes of proving themselves a worthy heir. A Runefather will typically have a dozen or so children over his lifetime, though the especially fertile Runefather of the Vostarg lodge has sired over fifty Runesons. Only one Runeson may inherit the title of Runefather, though there are many cases of Runesons splitting off with their supporters to become Runefathers of their own lodges. The badge of office of the Runefather is the latchkey grandaxe, a weapon that also serves as the key to the central Ur-Gold magmavault. The bodyguards of these guys are the Hearthguard Berzerkers, the elite of the Fyreslayers.

[[File:FyreslayerFuneral.jpg|thumb|right|500px]]

Ur-Gold is handled by the Zharrgrim Priesthood, the religious caste of the Fyreslayers. Although having a dozen different ranks, the only two elaborated in the tabletop are the Auric Runemaster, head of the priesthood and crafter of the Ur-Gold runes, and the Auric Runesmiters, who are in charge of the rituals of hammering said runes into the Fyreslayers. Ur-Gold has an addictive quality, and putting too many runes into one duardin can kill them, so the Zharrgrim priests have the important role of making sure every Fyreslayer has his fair share but doesn't take more than he can handle. In addition, the Zharrgrim Priesthood are also in charge of filtering out Ur-Gold from the regular gold and the Fyreslayers funerary rites, which unsuprisingly consist of cremation. These guys are guarded by the Auric Hearthguard, who also have the job of guarding the main magma-vault that contains the Ur-Gold hoard.

Two units exist outside of the hierarchy of the Fyreslayers: the Doomseekers and Grimwrath Berzerkers. Doomseekers are essentially oldschool Dwarf Slayers, warriors who seek to die in battle to atone for some shame. They tend to spend most of their time wandering in exile, but often ally with any nearby Fyreslayers in exchange for some fresh new Ur-Gold runes. Grimwrath Berzerkers are the greatest warriors of the Fyreslayers, having dozens of runes implanted into them, but the process of doing so tends to drive them quite mad and thus they aren't seen as fit to take command. Their axes are apparently so powerful that anybody who isn't a Grimwrath will die if they try to use them, unless you're [[Gotrek & Felix|Gotrek]], who uses one even before having an Ur-Gold rune implanted in him because he's fucking Gotrek.

===Notable Lodges===

*'''Vostarg Lodge''': The largest and wealthiest of the lodges, and the only ones that still bear the name of one of the OG lodges formed in the time of Grimnir. Technically has two Runefathers, as Fjul-Grimnir (great-grandfather of the current Runefather) abandoned his post to go to [[Warhammer Underworlds|Shadespire]], where the curse there has prevented him from dying.

*'''Greyfyrd Lodge''': The most mercenary out of all the mercenaries, the Greyfyrd lodge are constantly at war to the point where they no longer even bother to mine. Their unscrupulous nature means they're the ones most likely to be hired by non-Order factions. They reside in Chamon within the Gateswold realm nexus, a cluster of Realmgates that allow the Greyfyrd easy access to other Realms, and more importantly, ever more contracts.

*'''Hermdar Lodge''': This lodge is known for providing their services for cheap and even doing pro-bono work to liberate the oppressed. While this makes them [[This Guy]], the other lodges despise them and think of them as undercutters. After losing their Magmahold, Runefather and all his sons to the forces of Chaos, the survivors elected a new leader. Against the odds, they took back their home, swearing to never sit idly by while the forces of Chaos ravage the lands.

*'''Lofnir Lodge''': These pyromaniacs from Ghur worship Vulcatrix and Grimnir equally, and as such have the most Magmadroths.

*'''Unbak Lodge''': Residing in the Salamander’s Spine, this lodge is among the oldest and most skilled in rune-crafting. Though it is best known for being ground zero for Gotrek Gurnisson’s arrival in the Mortal Realms.

*'''Tangrim Lodge''': After the gates of Azyr reopened, these duardin quickly set up shop in the Realm of Heavens, working exclusively with the forces of Order, the Stormcast Eternals specifically.

*'''Gelvagd Lodge''': A more traditional warrior group residing in Azyrhiem. Stoic and vindictive, they maintain a record of all transgressions made against the Lodge in metal tablets, which are then cast into a lava moat when the grudge is settled. They hire themselves out to travelers setting out from the city.

*'''Volturung Lodge''': The first Fyreslayers to ally with the Stormcast Eternals, they live in a mountain they’ve carved to look like Grimnir’s face and claim direct descent from the original Lodges.

*'''Sigyorn Lodge''': Warriors from the Forge Cities of Chamon, these duardin bear red tattoos all across their bodies and often sell their axes to Freeguild and Kharadron armies.

*'''Ulrung Lodge''': A wandering fyrd who lost their original Shyish holds many years ago. They are grim and fatalistic, marking their beards white with the ashes of their fallen brothers.

*'''Baeldrag Lodge''': An offshoot of the Vostarg Lodge, they live in Ghyran and devote themselves entirely to destroying the Skaven after two of their eldest Runesons were mutated together into a horrific monster.

*'''Thungur Lodge''': These Hysh duardin have waged war with the [[Lumineth Realm Lords|native Aelves of the region]] and carry more than a few strange traditions, such as covering each other in gold dust which causes them to burst into flames at the behest of their Runesmitters. They have the unusual practice of forging their Ur-Gold using beams projected through crystal lenses rather than using forge fire.

*'''Caengan Lodge''': A subtler Lodge from Ulgu, this Lodge is infamous for sacking the entire kingdom of their former allies following the latter’s refusal to give compensation. They have learned a number of shadowy tricks in order to survive in the treacherous and unpredictable landscape of Ulgu.

==Soulbound==
In [[Age of Sigmar Roleplay]], Fyreslayers are noted as rare Soulbound compared to their [[Kharadron Overlords|Kharadron Overlord]] cousins, simply because of the insularity of the race - though it doesn't help that becoming a Soulbound means being sterilized, which is a pretty damn major thing in Fyreslayer society! Still, for whatever reasons - be it becoming a grimnyn ("fated wanderer") or swearing the Oath of Doom, losing their lodge, being estranged from their lodge, or just being an oddball, there are Fyreslayers willing to swear even this most grievous and serious of pledges by undergoing the Rite of Binding. Normal Fyreslayers are uncertain of how to act around their Soulbound fellows; there is great honor and potentially great glory in the Soulbound's life, and yet suspicious that they would work for gods other than Grimnir... not to mention scandalous that often the Soulbound will actually do things for '''free'''! For this reason, Fyreslayer Soulbound tend to be the most likely to demand at least some token form of payment, for appearances sake.

Fyreslayer archetypes available in the corebook consist of the '''Auric Runesmiter''', the '''Battlesmith''' and the '''Doomseeker'''.

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}

Ossiarch Bonereapers

2020-06-19T04:01:55Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:8DC8:2517:CC8C:DA28: /* The Bone Tithe */

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Ossiarch Bonereapers|Logo=Immortis-WC2.jpg|Alliance=Death|Motto=The Skeleton War is upon us! We ride against the [[Stormcast Eternals|fuckboys]]!}}

{{topquote|Two can play at that game!|Likely Nagash after learning how Sigmar makes Stormcast}}
{{topquote|Debt, an ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.|Ambrose Bierce}}
{{topquote|The bones of the skeleton which support the body can become the bars of the cage which imprison the spirit.|J. Ruth Gendler}}

The latest addition to [[Nagash]]’s ever growing hordes (designed and sculpted by [[Maxime Corbeil]], a former dentist), the '''Ossiarch Bonereapers''' are the result of an eons old plan by Big Bone Daddy.

Likely inspired by the [[Stormcast Eternals]], the Bonereapers are not mere skeletons given life by necromancy, but massive constructs of bone and countless warrior souls, making them all look impressively robust for undead. Since the Legions of Nagash are the mainstay, the Nighthaunt are the shock troops and the Flesh-Eater Courts are completely insane, these buff bone boys are the elite vanguard of the Grand Alliance. Given their themes of bones, undead constructs priest characters, architect characters and skull-throwing catapults... they're currently the closest thing we've got to [[Tomb Kings]] in AoS.

They also carry out the Bone Tithe; in addition to going out and killing shit to get their bones, the Ossiarchs give settlements they encounter a contract: Give up a set amount of bones whenever we stroll by, or face annihilation now. Understandably, most choose the former. Being unable to pay or even being rude to them also provokes a slaughter.

Visually-speaking, they're what happens when Games Workshop decides to mix [[Tyranids]], [[Tomb Kings]], and [[Necrons]] into one army.

==History==
[[File:Slaves to Darkness vs Ossiarch Bonereapers 01.jpg|right|300px|thumb|SKULLS FOR <s>THE SKULL THRONE</s> Nagash! And all the other bones too!]]
When Nagash was helping Sigmar build his cities he secretly built massive underground crypts beneath them all that contained early versions of the Bonereapers. He kept a few of them on the surface, but the other gods didn't like them, so he sent them into the wilderness until he called on them again (among them were the Bonereapers who would go on to form the Petrifex Elite and Null Myriad Legions. Despite this, nobody noticed until however fucking long its been since the start of the Age of Myth that there were crypts full of undead warriors beneath them, despite knowing about and needed to defend against [[Skaven|enemies who specialize in creating massive complexes beneath your cities that they then invade from.]]

Anyway, after the Necroquake, Nagash decided the time was right to wake up everyone beneath these cities, who (according to the most recent Stormcast) apparently marched back home, making them relatively pointless. In that respect, these tombs seem to mirror the Stormvaults Sigmar strewn about the Realms to contain various dangerous contraband like [[Katakros|a certain Mortarch]].

If all this smells like a retcon, that's because it is. To be fair, it would explain why Nagash was extra salty about being unable to get aelf souls, and what was meant by them being forged into more complex weapons of war (whether that was GW's original intention is anyone's guess).

Afterwards Nagash got back to his pet-project of making super-skellies, and once more decided to go through the process of distilling souls down to their most choice elements, and then putting the bits that remained in bone constructs. By doing so, he artificially created individuals who were warriors, leaders, bodyguards, artisans, architects, philosophers and sculptors all in one, [[Adeptus Custodes|which sounds a little familiar.]]

==Society==
[[File:Ossiarch Bonereapers Society.jpg|right|300px|thumb|Adds a whole new meaning to the phrase "pyramid scheme".]]
All Ossiarch Bonereapers are built for a specific purpose and assigned a role based on the souls from which they’re formed. This is codified through a caste system, with Nagash at the top, then Mortarchs Katakros and Arhkan, then the highest ranking Ossiarchs underneath and various ranks beneath that. The Bonereaper caste system has a cartouche representing each caste (though Nagash's is just to symbolize him). While there is a Mortarch cartouche, only Katakros wears it because Arkhan predates the Bonereaper system (and everyone but Nagash) by several eons, and despite their alliance he's too proud to wear Katakros' symbol.

While many Ossiarch Bonereapers are warriors, there are castes of groups such as crafters and preachers. There is movement between castes, but only downwards, and as a punishment for failure. A Liege Kavalos who fails in their mission, for example, may be remade as a Kavalos Deathrider. If the offense was major, they might get remade as a steed. The lowest caste are the exiles collectively referred to as Parrha, consisting of the worst offenders who get broken and remade into warped skeletal aberrations incapable of fighting and the Bonereapers value them less than the Imperial Guard values the life of its rank and file soldiers (for the uninitiated, that's really saying something).

The Ossiarch Bonereapers can be found all across the Mortal Realms, aiming to conquer everything from Azyr to the Eightpoints. At present, the majority of the Ossiarch Bonereapers are concentrated in Shyish, inhabiting the nations that surround the Shyish Nadir. This allows them easy access to a vast source of magical power and establishes them as a permanent garrison around this most valuable of territories. Apart from Shyish, the largest concentrations of Bonereapers are in Ghur and Hysh.

The Ossiarch Bonereapers build according to principles laid down in the Principia Necrotopia, a set of guidelines that ensure optimal construction:

In the first stages of colonizing a new region, the Ossiarchs will establish tithing sites. Presumably, this involves mapping out surrounding settlements and segments of the region into their own tributaries, with each section's inhabitants made to sign a contract to begin paying the Tithe. They contruct shrines known as Bone-Tithe Nexus, which act as locations for vassals to dump their bones and are enchanted to give out powerful curses to ward off any scavengers seeking to steal from it.

Next, they will fortify key territories with small fortifications, following up with a number of Mortisan workshops to fuel the next stage of their expansion. These small holdings will eventually develop into vast and imposing fortresses, growing ever upward as the Bonereapers’ numbers grow. These are not just barracks, but places of culture for the Ossiarchs.

Ossiarch scholars will endlessly study scrolls in charnel libraries, recording the details of cultures in the Mortal Realms they have subjugated and those they seek to subjugate. These vast citadel-states eventually resemble Nagashizzar itself.

===The Bone Tithe===
[[File:Bone tithe.jpg|left|300px|thumb|Put your spines into it. Literally!]]
The Bone Tithe is instrumental to their society and Nagash's way of setting himself up as mob boss of the realms. Upon arriving in an area, the Ossiarchs send out scouts to get the lay of the land. When they find a settlement or settlements they want tribute from, a representative - in practice usually a Mortisan - approaches and makes them an offer they can't refuse; give "x" by the deadline at regular intervals, or we kill you all and takes your bones and souls for our use. To communicate, the Bonereapers draw on prior research for the local language; it doesn't matter if the vernacular's out of date by a few centuries or so, as long as they can be understood. If that doesn't work, the Bonereapers use other means, including killing a local and using their spirit as a translator if all else fails. If the locals refuse, attack them or are rude enough, [[Grimdark|the Bonereapers make good on their threat, slaughtering everything in the settlement that has bones, right down to the last child and stray animal]].

Where the bones come from, the required condition and amount depends on the situation and Bonereaper legion in question. Human bone is the most widely used; dwarf bones aren't common enough, elf bones are but don't replenish fast enough and greenskin bones are coarse, porous and prone to spontaneous fungal growth unless treated properly. While animal bones are also used, such as to repair Kavalos steeds or make Gothizzar Harvesters, that's not always the case and it depends on what animal they're from (Rhinoxen and Bleaklake crocodiles are popular choices). The Bonereapers CAN tell the difference between what race or species a specific bone comes from, so trying to cheat them by mixing in different kinds of bones doesn't work. Plus, they respond to trickery the same way they respond to failure or refusal - immediate slaughter (as a human town learned to their cost when they tried to trick the Bonereapers by mixing pig bones in with the human bones).

Sometimes things are even worse. A particularly war-horny leader, most often from the Stalliarch Lords (more on them below), will give nigh-impossible demands. What kinds of demands? How about asking the population for detailed records on the city's family lineage going back to the founders and the condition of ''every bone in their bodies''. Or maybe they ask for just one tonne of bones ''every day''. They might instead, or also, [[That Guy|arrive early to extract the Tithe just to get a good slaughter out of it]]. However it ends, the bones of the Ossiarch's victims are sorted through, the good bones taken for future use the sub-par ones discarded (same with their victims souls). Strips of skin and flesh from these unforunates are hung from the Bonereapers' spears as a warning to anyone who considers not paying the tithe.

Ultimately, they have a term related to the Bone Tithe called the Terminus Concept, referring to the point where a society can't provide enough bones so they get slaughtered and their bones are taken. For the truth is that the Bone Tithe - short term or long term - is ultimately unsustainable for the payers, and the Bonereapers know it. This all proves that, while Nagash is a pragmatic sort of fellow, he'll always find a way to be a <s>boner</s> [[Eldrad|huge skeletal dick]] about it.

==Forces==
[[File:Bonereaper army.jpg|right|500px|thumb|'''Angry Dooting Intensifies''']]
*'''Mortek Guard:''' Rank and file infantry of the Bonereapers. Well armored and shielded, they have the choice of swords or spears and optional greatswords as weapons. Their primary role is to create massive shield walls to protect their leaders.
*'''Morghast Harbingers and Archai:''' You know em, you love em. Nagash's original sculpted bone construct based on not-angels from the World-That-Was now served as prototypes to the current regime of spoopy skeltals. Flying blenders armed with either halberds (take these) or twin swords (dont take these). Harbingers are your chargey bois, while the Archai are bodyguard bois.
*'''Necropolis Stalkers:''' Four-armed skeletal constructs the size of Kurnoth Hunters with four faces, each one has the soul of four warriors, and switches between which one is dominant, altering their fighting style accordingly. Their name's ripped from the Necropolis Knights and the Tomb Stalkers.
*'''Immortis Guard:''' Four-armed <s>Grave Guard</s> <s>Tomb Guard</s> elite skellingtons armed with a halberd in one set of hands and a shield in the other. Like the Morghasts, Immortis are the bodyguard bois to the Stalkers' chargey bois.
*'''Kavalos Deathriders:''' Essentially bony Varanguard who serve Bone Daddy instead of the [[Archaon|Everchosen]]. Each one has the soul of dozens of warriors to draw on their knowledge and is proportionately arrogant. For added creep factor, these guys normally walk at a slow and ominous trot, only sprinting when going into a headlong charge.
*'''Mortek Crawler:''' Screaming Skull Catapult 2.0 with an obligatory patent-friendly rename. In addition to flaming skulls, it can also hurl a cauldron of Death Magic that works based on bravery or a cursed stone that gets more powerful the more damage the Crawler takes. It's also powered by a bone-made hamster wheel and multiple legs.
*'''Gothizzar Harvester:''' A big monster construct with weapon hands and a four-armed skeleton for a codpiece that harvests bones and uses them to make new constructs on the fly.
*'''Mortisan Soulreaper:''' Your offensive caster for the Bonereapers with a scythe that doesn't like hordes.
*'''Mortisan Boneshaper:''' The healers/builders of the Bonereapers. Formed from the souls of artists, they’re in charge of building the extravagant bone cities and other architecture of the legions. They all possess a friendly rivalry with each other that pushes them to one up another’s artwork.
*'''Mortisan Soulmason:''' Miniature Arkhans with four arms who are in charge of hunting and fusing souls for their various constructs. They ride into battle on bony [[Fyodor Karamazov|thrones with chicken legs]].
*'''Liege-Kavalos''': Field generals with skeleton mounts placed in charge of leading the Bonereaper armies. They are forged as a cruel mockery of Sigmar’s Lord-Celestant on Dracoth.

===Famous Legions===
*'''Mortis Praetorians''': The 10,000 strong personal army of Katakros, created out of the souls of those he personally knew in life. [[Ultramarines|The poster boys who are a jack-of-all-trades, big on tactics and led by an ancient leader who was the basis for future generations]]. They also have the only two Bonereapers with a single original soul; Katakros himself and Zandtos.
* '''Petrifex Elite''': Made up of nomadic armies crafted from prehistoric fossilized bones, they are known for being slow-moving and a near impenetrable wall of bone. While fossilized bone tends to be fragile, the Petrifex Elite enchant them to be tough and also include already supernaturally tough bones among them (ie; the bones of godbeasts). [[Necrons|They only exist to slay and find ancient bones to build more of themselves and make themselves even deadlier]]. They have forgotten why Nagash wants them to do this, and their leaders eschew personal identity (or so their most senior member says...).
* '''Null Myriad''': These Bonereapers were built exclusively using the bones of the countless dead who helped construct Nagash’s Black Pyramid. They are a solemn yet prideful lot with high resilience to magic and were thus given to Arkhan to be his personal legion; so loyal to him that they defer to Arkhan even over Katakros himself. Their resistance to magic extends to the power of Chaos, so they're used to inhabit the most inhospitable parts of the realms. Recently Arkhan made an alliance with Katakros, and the Null Myriad's job is to secure locations in the realms so Katakros can control the sources of their magic.
*'''Ivory Host''': Outwardly, they appear as honorable warriors, but hidden away in their bodies is a monstrous frenzy that turns them into clawing slavering beasts. Fitting considering they are constructed from beast and monster bones. Tasked by Nagash to conquer Ghur, they overcompensate for their bestial anger by being as clean and making everything of theirs as much of a work of art as possible. Also known for [[Tomb Kings|being the only Ossiarchs who build ships, use the color gold regularly in their attire and are led by a monarch]].
*'''Stalliarch Lords''': A cavalry centric force who are [[Creed|skillful tacticians]] and like to make impossible demands so they have an excuse to raze cities and slaughter people (on the rare occasion that someone meets their outrageous demands they keep their word... but remember the Terminus Concept). They even force the Bone Tithe on other death factions, as was the case when they subjected a keep of Blood Knights to it and offered them a way out if their leader defeated a Liege-Kavalos in a duel to the death (he didn't), so in addition to being [[Kharn|psychopaths with zero regard for life, they're also team-killing douchebags]]. Basically [[That Guy]] as an undead legion.
*'''Crematorians''': These Bonereapers are burning with an internal fire to the point where some of them literally explode when killed. Some of them are only just starting to realise that they don't really have a purpose other than to fight and explode, and aren't too happy about that. In fact, their leaders [[Noblebright|have made pacts of friendship to repair each other if any of them are destroyed and the chief Liege-Kavalos scours the libraries of everyone they encounter in the hopes of finding a way to undo their fiery curse]].

==Significant Skeletons==
* '''[[Katakros|Orpheon Katakros]], [[Mortarch]] of the Necropolis''': In life he was the greatest strategic genius in all the Mortal Realms, and undeath has done nothing to dull his mastery of military tactics. He's been given a new body of enscrolled bone by Nagash himself which looks like a [[Jojo's Bizarre Adventure|JoJo stand]] rather than a skeleton. He goes into battle surrounded by various attendants; the Liege-Immortis, the Aviarch Spymaster, the Gnosis Scrollbearer, and the Prime Necrophoros.
*'''Arch-Kavalos Zandtos''': Both in life and in death, Patru Zandtos has been Katakros’ most trusted lieutenant. In life he was a refined, death-obsessed assassin who treated killing as a sacred art and hated the butchery of battle. In undeath, through the manipulations of Nagash and Katakros, he’s now a death-purist who wishes to “cleanse” Shyish of anything still living.
*'''Vokmortian, Master of the Bone-tithe''': The grim tallyman in charge of recording/judging the Tithe. He carries the severed heads of those foolish enough to refuse to pay the Tithe and has a coffin on his back, making him look like a giant beetle. Though officially he’s under Katakros in the OBR hierarchy, he’ll only receive/carry out orders from Big Bone Daddy himself.
*'''[[Arkhan the Black]]''': Yeah, he's part of the army despite technically being just an "average" liche as opposed to a bone golem thing. Likely because apart from Nagash, he's the most privy to understanding how they are made without being one.

==Spooky Melodies for your Bony Boys==

*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DsZivjop_s Spooky Scary Skeletons! a remix for a revamp]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKHAX1K4sKQ The Dead March returns for AoS!]

==Trivia==
* The architecture of the Ossiarch Bonereapers was likely inspired by the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sedlec_Ossuary Sedlec Ossuary] in the Czech Republic. The Sedlec Ossuary is a Roman Catholic church where the bones of thousands of people have been artistically arranged to form the decorations and the furnishings of the chapel (it's also called "the Bone Church"). This was done several centuries ago for creative interment reasons, if you want to know more look it up.
* On a comical note, "Kavalos", the name for Bonereaper cavalry, translates to "crotch" in Greek (the Greek word is "kaválos").

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Bonereaper vs Kharadron.jpg|Sky Pirates vs Bone Golems.
File:Cavalry-bonereapers.jpg|As if Blood Knights weren't bad enough, Bone Daddy brings out Kavalos Deathriders too.
File:Gothizzar Harvester.jpg|"Oh those bones, oh those bones, oh those skeleton bones. Oh mercy how they scare! With the toe bone connected to the foot bone..."
File:Bonereaper city.jpg|right|300px|thumb|Welcome to Necrotopia. Please remember to remove all skin and flesh before you reach customs.
</gallery>

==See Also==

*[[Nagash]], their jerk of a god whom they give their undisputed loyalty to (yes, really!)

{{Template:Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]

Games Workshop

2020-06-19T03:55:27Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:8DC8:2517:CC8C:DA28: /* Current Events */

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{{heresy}}

[[File:GW Logo.png|center|900px]]

{{topquote|A fool and his money are soon parted.|Dr John Bridges}}
{{topquote|A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.|Jonathan Swift}}
{{topquote|For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.|1 Timothy 6:10}}

'''Games Workshop''', known to /tg/ as '''Geedubs''', or '''GW''' is a company which produces miniatures and despite their former CEO's best efforts, games. Their three most notable games are [[Warhammer Fantasy]], [[Warhammer:_Age_of_Sigmar|Age of Sigmar]] and [[Warhammer 40,000]].

The first thing that you must know is that in /tg/'s general opinion, Games Workshop used to be good, and then it was shit, run into the ground by idiots. Thankfully since [[Kevin_Rountree|a new guy took over]] it's been doing a lot better and most believe it could become good again. See [[Mordheim]], [[Beakie]], [[Rogue Trader (Sourcebook)|Rogue Trader]] and [[Talisman]].

The second thing you must know is that Games Workshop is the reason /tg/ exists in the first place: it was originally created as a containment board to isolate Warhammer threads from the general population on [[/b/]]. Warhammer is also a massive part of tabletop gaming culture history; as such, the importance of Warhammer in /tg/ cannot be overstated.

The third thing you must know is that Games Workshop is extremely protective about their precious intellectual properties. This is funny because you can count the number of original ideas in their core games on one hand, with the original creators outright admitting they ripped off existing works wholesale. The vast majority of backstory in Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 is a rehash of established fantasy/sci-fi literature, padded out with stuff the writers half-remembered from A-level history lectures. This is particularly true in the case of Warhammer Fantasy, which actually makes sense when you realize most of GW's founders actually had history degrees. 40k by contrast is mostly Fantasy ''IIIIN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE'', with a heaping helping of tropes from everything sci-fi that was popular in Britain in the 1980's.

Finally, and this is very important to understand why they have become the dominant company of the miniature market and are no longer a failing business that constantly shot itself in the legs (thanks to their own failings and tarnished reputation): GeeDubs likes the toplines in the news and shows it off. Thanks to the old fucking idiot who was crippling the company deciding to leave with a large stash of money, like a rat jumping off a sinking ship, the new management was able to realize that putting out more than a catalogue was a good way to draw in new buyers and win back some old ones. Any given week you can see them bringing articles, comics, tutorials, interviews, short stories, miniatures, codices, novels and other features, this zealous dedication to '''growth''' allows them to promote and sell their diferent lines, which in turn allows them to make even more profit and produce more stuff while periodically trying different niches, creating a (somewhat) virtuous economic circle, Games Workshop's resources are comparatively vast and they use them at their full (with varied although generally favourable results) add to this the extensive use of their brands in the videogame industry and you see they are THE powerhouse when it comes to tabletop gaming.

==History==

===Ancient History===
The original Games Workshop was established several hundred years ago BC, originating in China. However, when the Emperor placed a commission for thousands of life-sized soldiers, this predecessor began to collapse, as with all production being geared to the creation of these soldiers and the murderous ire of the first Emperor, they were unable to introduce price rises. As one, their board of directors resolved that they must fall into hibernation, to wait out the storm, screaming defiance at the one man who ever had defeated them.

===Almost-as-Ancient History===
[[File:John Peake and Ian Livingstone and Steve Jackson.jpg|thumb|center|300px|Steve, John, and Ian with their first products.]]
Games Workshop was established in 1975 in London as a small literal workshop that created wooden [[Board Games|boards]] for public domain games, such as [[Chess]] which it sold through mail-order catalogs (not its own). The original staff was just three men in a flat in London. John Peake, Steve Jackson (not to be confused with the other /tg/ Steve Jackson), and Ian Livingstone. Livingstone was a massive games fan, and was captain of the Chess club in school, while Peake carved wood as a hobby. They soon made a business of selling boards for Chess, Go, and Backgammon.
[[File:O&W!01.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Owl And Weasel, issue #1.]]
In the same year Games Workshop put out its own newsletter, called "Owl And Weasel" which somehow wound up crossing the Atlantic and ending up in the hands of pen-and-paper-gamings' Jack Kirby, [[Gary Gygax]]. Gygax sent the trio a copy of [[Dungeons & Dragons]] to playtest for a review in their publication. Jackson and Livingstone were hooked and ordered six more copies. Gygax, thinking they were a much more established (as in established at all) company, offered them exclusive distribution rights in the entirety of Europe.

In 1977, Jackson and Livingstone accepted and began selling copies of the game straight out of the flat by using Owl And Weasel to get the word out. Gygax himself had also been selling out of his apartment at the time, and neither found out the other group was just a couple of nerdy kids selling shit out of their home. Peake left the company as he had no interest or patience in new games (yep, people complaining every time something new comes along have been in since the beginning). After he left, D&D exploded in popularity and people who came to buy a game were continually knocking on the floor-level homes in the building, before being directed to talk to Livingstone and Jackson on the top floor. Predictably, this earned them a boot out the door from the landlord.

They rented a small office to be the original Games Workshop, slept in a van in the car park, and bathed in the restrooms of a nearby sports club while pretending to be patrons. They continued distributing D&D through mail order but had absolutely no success in convincing established hobby shops to carry the product. Without alternative, Livingstone and Jackson bought a place in west London in 1978 to sell mostly imported American gaming accessories from Dungeons & Dragons to Call Of Cthulhu and more. The two entered into negotiations to merge with [[TSR Games]] to retain exclusive distribution rights, but the owners of TSR (other than Gygax, who supported the idea greatly) turned the offer down.

===Citadel===
[[File:White Dwaf Issue 1.jpg|thumb|right|300px|White Dwarf, issue #1.]]
The new building allowed them to host gaming conventions which would later become the famous [[Games Day]]. This was followed Owl And Weasel being discontinued and replaced with [[White Dwarf]], a small magazine (originally just black and white on colored stationery) written by the now obsessed tabletop gamer Livingstone, which covered industry-wide tabletop gaming news. White Dwarf was supposed to be sci-fi and fantasy neutral, referring both to a dying star and to, well, [[Dwarves]]. Originally the magazine was everything Livingstone felt like writing about, from movies to publishing short stories to computer and computer gaming-related articles. The letters section quickly became THE forum for tabletop gaming in <strike>the Old World</strike> Europe, where everything from rules clarifications to personal reviews were published. Interestingly, Livingstone published letters that were critical of both him and Games Workshop.

Games Workshop's very first new product, [[Reaper]] (not to be confused with [[Reaper Miniatures]]) was a basic fantasy skirmish game for between 5 and 30 miniatures. In 1978, [[Citadel Miniatures]] was established under a man named Bryan Ansell as the miniature manufacturing division for any future Games Workshop products, which would produce them in bulk. Although initially a separate company simply owned by the same people as Games Workshop, it would eventually merge in the 90's into one company with the name only being a vestigial remainder of independence.
[[File:GW 1982.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Games Workshop team, circa 1982. Pictured from top right to bottom left: Andy Patterson, <strike>John Lennon</strike> Anthony Epworth, <strike>Abraham</strike> Bryan Ansell, Diane Lane, Gerry Ball, Chrissie Lane, Alan Merritt, [[Rick Priestley]] pre-barber, and an unknown woman (possibly Priesley's wife).]]
This was followed in 1980 by the release of [[Valley Of The Four Winds]], a mostly forgotten fantasy game where two players fight over the fate of a realm. The side of evil consists of demons and the undead while the side of good consists of Elves, humans, and <strike>Dwarfs</strike> Dwarves (that spelling comes later). Battlecars was next, as a Mad Max style game. The first RPG created by Games Workshop was a licensed [[Doctor Who|Dr. Who]] roleplaying game. [[Fighting Fantasy]] was a project of Livingstone and Jackson, a fairly popular game they would leave the company to pursue.

Nothing Games Workshop made was as successful as Dungeons & Dragons, which was now being carried by competitors. Citadel sold generic fantasy miniatures for use with D&D, but players only ever made small purchases and were not in the market to collect one of everything leaving some stock hard to move. Ansell had become the primary boss of the company, and his solution was the wargaming market that had begun to catch on internationally. At this point, Games Workshop was still very much a small business with most employees putting in work as needed; a writer or mail sorter would load shipments into the building or package products.
<gallery>
Image:Games Workshop Old Ad.png
Image:Valley Of The Four Winds.jpg
Image:Doctor Who Games Workshop.jpg
Image:Battlecars.jpg
</gallery>

===Warhammer===
In 1983, [[Warhammer Fantasy|Warhammer]] was released. It was created by Games Workshop writer Richard Halliwell and his friend (former mail order department) [[Rick Priestley]] (known by [[Meme|many nicknames on /tg/, often "The Based"]]). Priestley was mostly inspired by growing up and delving headfirst into both science fiction and history, the news of the Atomic Age, and World War 2; all of which led him to the first wargames, and eventually getting a job at Games Workshop with the goal of working on his own.
The requirements for the new product were simple.
# Take advantage of popular fantasy favored by gamers like [[Conan the Barbarian]] and [[Lord of the Rings]].
# Every model must have rules, so everything gets sold.
# Use six-sided dice since almost everyone everywhere already had some they could scrounge up to play the game.
Halliwell did the first draft for the game and did most of the work on raw mechanics, Priestley did development and editing. Originally having no actual miniatures associated with it, it simply consisted of a single set of three books giving a basic rule system and scenarios. The first book, '''Tabletop Battles''', and has the core rules plus a bestiary and list of potions to be found in addition to an example scenario called '''[[The Ziggurat of Doom]]'''. The second book is '''Magic''', containing the rules for magic where spellcasting characters with the right equipment and wizard level (1-4, with the highest level being Archmages) can spend Constitution to use their chosen spells. The final book, Characters, adds the roleplaying game aspects including leveling up, alignment, upkeep costs, and the '''The Redwake River Valley''' example scenario.

While filled with typos, contradictory rules, and BADLY needing an FAQ that never came (so they quickly set the standard for what GW would aspire to) it was well accepted for introducing the concepts of magic failing and of the psychology of forces on the field. The setting was almost non-existent, and what little lore there was only existed in the flavor text of magic items. Of special interest is the game was originally conceived partly as a wargame, partly as a roleplaying game with actual guidelines for leveling up your general and interacting with the world— even an alignment system! If anything, the game combined the role of Dungeonmaster and player into one as a character led a force of generalized encounters against each other and looted the dead. Every group of friends had a different world, as the results of a previous battle fitted into the unending campaigns of war. A major difference between current and early Warhammer is an extra player was required as a Game Master for a battle to take place.
[[File:Citadel Design Team 80s.jpg|thumb|right|400px|The Citadel Design Team in the early 1980's.]]

Ansell used the success of Warhammer to move Games Workshop HQ from London to Nottinghamshire, in what was presented as a merger but many at Games Workshop saw as a Citadel takeover. By that time there were six other Games Workshop locations, and cost appears to have been the only reason the name was not changed to Citadel. Few Games Workshop staff stayed on, as Nottinghamshire was in the midst of a nasty Thatcher-era labor dispute that saw employees harassed.

Due to popularity, an expansion for Warhammer called '''Forces of Fantasy''' was released in 1984 which began to describe the factions in the world (all still extremely generalized, mostly Dungeons & Dragons based). Once again containing three books (Forces of Fantasy, Fighting Fantasy Battles, and Arcane Magicks), it made the skirmish roleplaying game into a war roleplaying game with a fairly important magic system. The final booklet included, The Book Of Battalions, contained example armies for the game and included the favored armies of the Games Workshop staff, including the Perry Twins, Bryan Ansell, Nigel Stillman, and Based Priestley. The same year also saw Games Workshop stop importing printed books from the United States, and instead print them in the UK while also expanding into having a US headquarters and manufacturing division so as not to have to physically import goods in reverse.

Later in 1984, the second edition of Warhammer was released. It combined the expansions with the core game as well as suggested supplementary rules from White Dwarf. Combat was the core rules, like Tabletop Battles. Battle Magic is the same as Magic, although it reduces equipment requirements and instead adds the lores of Illusionists, Demonologists, and Elementalists plus the example scenario '''The Magnificent Sven'''. The final book, Battle Bestiary, includes the stats of all the factions and models in the game and guides for forming armies out of them as well as homebrew additions. Still having very loose rules, the game was three books although this time they were actually professionally printed rather than looking like something off a photocopier. Paper punchouts were included to represent troops rather than any miniature although Citadel produced a range of minis which were advertised in White Dwarf (although the rulebooks still said in those days to simply use whatever you want), and the very first Warhammer lore was established.
:The [[The Empire (Warhammer Fantasy)|Empire]] was a vague kingdom of men in decline, [[Chaos]] was some kind of Demonic extra-planar threat that prophesied the [[End Times|end of days]], there was some kind of ancient race that created the monsters of the world called [[Slann]], and [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Elves]] had some kind of [[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|civil war]] going on although the version presented in this book was a clash of kingdoms rather than a two way war of genocide.
:Three supplements were released, the first adding the very first Warhammer villain, [[Heinrich Kemmler]], in the [[Terror Of The Lichemaster]] campaign. The second, Bloodbath at Orcs' Drift, introduced the first [[Orcs & Goblins|Orcs to the setting]] (although they weren't the asexual greenskins of today, but rather generic Dungeons & Dragons Orcs and Half-Orcs). The third, '''Tragedy of McDeath''' was basically Warhammer Macbeth, involving a plot of necromancy with Dwarfs and humans who would eventually come to be the [[Bretonnia|Bretonnians]]. "Blood In The Streets", was just rules for fighting with buildings as well as paper scenery. The final expansion, Ravening Hordes, made the army choices much specific rather than relying on overlapping options.

On the side, Citadel had acquired the rights to produce miniatures for everything from [[Judge Dredd]] to [[Doctor Who]], and collaborated with many other companies including [[Ral Partha]] (one of their most successful partnerships, which launched Citadel into the mainstream of tabletop), Iron Claw Miniatures (which went out of business with their molds and copyrights being absorbed by Citadel), and Marauder Miniatures (technically another company owned by the founders of Games Workshop, much like Citadel itself, which was absorbed into the company in the early 90's much like Citadel would be absorbed by Games Workshop not long after).

Games Workshop saw aggressive expansion during this time, as White Dwarf went from a general nerd culture newsletter to specifically just a magazine for Games Workshop products which also functioned somewhat like a catalog and order form for new products. By opening physical retail stores to encourage gamers to meet at, they got easy advertising as Games Workshop products were on the shelves all around them. Many smaller companies began to suffer and close due to the slow death of the mail-order catalog business model that many companies relied heavily on.

Third edition Warhammer was also released in 1987, and was just a single hardback book (the ancestor of the [[Big Red Book]] of <strike>today</strike> yesteryear). The rules were finally ironed-out although the magic system remained the same. Players now controlled large forces with specialized troops including elites and warmachines, movement was extremely important tactically as there was Charge actions, and generally the game was considered a bit more complicated to pick up and learn than your average tabletop game. Games Workshop began to push it's own miniatures more and more, and the rules for certain types of troops came bundled with them rather than in the core book. The Warhammer setting was more fleshed out, and many consider this to be the first true edition of a Warhammer game fluffwise. Orcs and goblins were not connected and had females, undead didn't really have a reason to exist, Chaos only really mattered if you were talking about Chaos, the Empire's decline was because of cultural problems rather than being buttfucked by everyone else with twelve men or more at their command every other season, Elves were pretty much just snooty Elves and douchey Elves, Dwarves had no real flavor beyond Joseph Bugman existing, and the rest of the world was just kind of assumed to be like our own somewhat.
:Even going beyond this, [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]] was released which introduced an entire world outside the not-Europe of the [[Old World]] by touching on Ind, Araby, [[Nippon]], [[Cathay]], [[Naggaroth]], and more.

Third edition had two expansions; [[Realm of Chaos]], written by Ansell as a blatant ripoff of Moorcock, which introduced everyone's favorite (or hated) [[Chaos Gods|Evil Sues]] and established Chaos in a way it would basically remain from that point on; Slaves To Darkness, which detailed pretty much everyone in the actual physical world who wanted to kill you for no particular reason; The Lost And The Damned which continued giving reasons why living in Warhammer would fucking suck; and finally Warhammer Siege which gave scenarios. So more or less the late 80's/early 90's introduced [[Grimdark|grimderp]], nicely paralleling the trend in comic books.

Also in 1983, to much less fanfare but still modest success, the board game [[Talisman]] was first released. In it, players are adventurers trying to obtain the Crown of Command and kill their opponents. In 1985 Talisman received a second edition, different only in that the pieces were printed in color. In 1986, an expansion set for Talisman, called Talisman Expansion Set (clever) was released which had an FAQ, more characters, alternate endings, and enough stuff for up to 12 players to play at once. Talisman: Dungeon came out in 1987 as well and came with an additional game board and rules for navigating it on the side of the main board.

GW also acquired the license to make Lord Of The Rings miniatures in '85, taking over from competitor Grenadier Miniatures. They'd lose this in 1987 GW, which passed to Mithril Miniatures.
<gallery>
Image:Warhamme Fantasy 1e.png
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Image:Talisman 2e.jpg
Image:Talisman Dungeon.jpg
</gallery>

===[[Indrick Boreale|Spess: Tha Finuhl Frunteer]]===
Later that year, Games Workshop released [[Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader|Rogue Trader]]. Rogue Trader was Priestley's first creation, before he became the mail packager at Games Workshop HQ. Based on the idea of having a ship and using miniatures to play the game, and he'd refined the game as he did rules articles and sci-fi discussions in White Dwarf.

Conceived as a Frankenstein's Monster of of Warhammer/Judge Dredd/[[Dune]]/Moorcock/Heinlein/Lovecraft and John Milton's Paradise Lost (the latter work inspired the [[Horus Heresy]]) with a sprinkling of anything else perceived as cool, the game was functionally a combination of Warhammer 1st edition with Warhammer 3rd edition as a roleplaying/skirmish/wargame. It was mostly just an updated version of the game Laserburn by Ansell, who after the financial failure of his solo creation re-imagined it for Games Workshop.

Forces were originally just a [[Space Marines]] faction decided by rolling dice rather than listbuilding, which was added later as well as with most of the story in White Dwarf. The [[Imperium]] was given fluff, [[Orks]] were created as green skinned assholes described briefly in 3rd Edition although now with asexuality to go with it. Extremely complex rules for vehicles were added, and finally Ansell's Chaos was copy/pasted from Warhammer to Rogue Trader with the overt Moorcockyness removed. Priestley designed the Rogue Trader setting as part irony and part parody, with only self-deluded antivillains as protagonists.

It was hinted at various points that Warhammer 40,000 was Warhammer Fantasy in the future, then later than Sigmar was a "son" (its complicated) of the Emperor of 40k and thus all of Fantasy was a planet in the 40k universe, later that the 40k universe entirely existed in a box on a wizard's shelf in Fantasy, before finally the creators decided both Warhammers are reflections of each other in a multiverse.

===For Those About To Rock, We Sell-out You!===
Many employees in 1988-1990 left the company, unhappy with the increasingly profit-driven model of the company. Many created their own games, publications, and even went to Games Workshop's (few remaining) competitors. Notable was Fantasy Warlord, which barely sold enough to break even before shutting down. The miniatures created for Fantasy Warlord by Alternative Armies are actually still available, although some were sold to Mayhem Miniatures (which became Kennington Miniatures).

Unchallenged in the market (being the Apple of miniatures in that day), Games Workshop sought to expand its customer base into the mainstream. Television commercials were made, Games Workshop expanded aggressively into France and Australia, and the miniature lines were made less grotesque and more like the artwork. Any place that could support a major sports team was designated a potential, even eventual, Games Workshop location. Later on Games Workshop prospects were locations that could afford to support high end clothing stores like Marks & Spenser or toy store retail chains like Early Learning Centre. Games Workshop stores were designed to be friendly, with owners and employees being outgoing and knowledgeable about tabletop games while popular music like Grunge and early Alternative was played over speakers.

Ansell in the meantime had begin to expand the company into entirely different mediums, and due to his love of music had begun to use Games Workshop as a publisher for bands like Sabbat, Saxon, and Bolt Thrower. He opened a Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000-themed clothing line, licensed novels set in the universe, and funded [[LARP]] events. Ambitions that were not realized even included a gameshow set in 40k where players built robots to fight other robots (so a themed version of the television show Robot Wars).

In 1988, Talisman: Timescape was released in which players in the medieval core game could randomly be thrown through space and time into other time periods, mainly those inspired by Warhammer 40,000.

In the same year, to compete with rival [[FASA]] and their [[Battletech]] game, Games Workshop released [[Adeptus Titanicus]], a 10mm scale tabletop game where twelve [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|Imperial Titans]] fight each other in a city. Games Workshop tied the game to the 40k franchise to boost both games. White Dwarf expansions added rules for vehicles, infantry, and aerial combat.

Talisman: City came out in 1989 which added a new board, a city for players to interact with the city guards and buy/sell items. It was likewise followed by [[Space Marine]], which was a battle between two Space Marine armies and included miniatures for vehicles as well. In the same year, Codex Titanicus was released which combined Space Marine and Adeptus Titanicus together into one game, the first edition of [[Epic]].

Over the next year the game received major additions including Knight, artillery, and infantry models in not only Space Marines, but also Imperial Guard (1991 Armies Of The Imperium), Chaos and Eldar (1992 Renegades), Orks and Squats (1992 Ork and Squat Warlords), and finally Tyranids (1995 Hive War).

===Bitch, Where's My Money?===
In 1991 Ansell left Games Workshop, and sold his shares to the General Manager [[Tom Kirby]]. Kirby's first order of business was to grow the company to quickly pay off what he had borrowed to buy it, and he was presented with two choices; grow the company with more diverse games or focus heavily on the two Warhammers. Kirby opted for the latter, and pushed the idea of more games in the two settings along with much bigger editions.

Warhammer 4th edition was released in 1992, with changes to rules bringing the term "Herohammer" into the fanbase as most of any given army was simply there to protect the powerful characters the game was REALLY about. This was the first edition that had miniatures specifically for everything in the rulebooks, had specific race selection that prohibited using troops of another type in your army, and had a starter set which contained a two-force starter game which was High Elves VS Goblins. Magic was entirely redone, and was marketed as an expansion and used cards as spells. Magic had two further expansions, one for general magic and one for Chaos. Warhammer lore was more fleshed out, coming to resemble more or less the factions of today. The Empire was the human focus of 4th edition, with the valiant knights having no mention.

In 1993, Games Workshop came out with ''Warhammer 40,000'', normally called ''Second Edition''. Like Warhammer (now "Warhammer Fantasy Battles"), it was built around small units of infantry supporting ridiculously munchkinized special characters with complicated rules and wargear and appropriately pricey lead models, but at this stage Games Workshop actually cared somewhat about customers; models were made in plastic or wallet-friendly, Roman-Empire-collapsing lead, game sets included serviceable army lists and collections of miniatures, and paints were provided in 20ml pots, later 17.5ml. This switch was perhaps the first sign of the next age (and every other age, by the looks of things as paints are now just 12ml per pot).

===Special NEERDS!===
In the same year the very first of what would later on fall under the label of "[[Specialist Games]]" (anything not Warhammer or Tolkien) was released; [[Man O' War]]. Warhammer Fantasy setting, but rather than commanding an army the players were heads of an armada on the high seas!

1993 also saw the release of the final 2e Talisman expansion, Talisman: Dragons. It added new characters, locations, spells, and items, all themed with dragons, into the game.

In 1994 the third edition of Talisman was released, adding miniatures, experience points, alterations to the board, and the biggest change of all; it was set in Warhammer Fantasy. Later that year, White Dwarf contained mini expansions to the game while the first true expansion, City Of Adventure, reintroduced the city board as well as a forest. Dungeon of Doom came next, adding the dungeon and a mountain.
The year also saw the launch of Second edition Epic, still consisting of two games. The first was a rerelease of Space Marine that had Space Marines, Orks, and Eldar. The second game was Titan Legions which had the same factions.

In 1995 Dragon's Tower expanded Talisman 3e as an alternative end goal as players climbed a tower and killed a dragon (duh). It came with another White Dwarf expansion.

In 1996 [[Necromunda]] was released. Priestley was inspired by his meetings with the creator of Judge Dredd during the days of Games Workshop licensing the IP, and used it to resurrect the forgotten RPG aspect of Rogue Trader.

Fifth edition Fantasy was released in 1996 as well, along with its magic expansion which rebalanced and simplified the magic system and included all three 4e expansions. Cards remained available to buy, although all the Winds of Magic-based magic spells were included in the core rules (meaning you still had 20 more spells you had to buy cards for).

Of particular note is the Slann finally being fleshed out, creating the [[Lizardmen]] army with the starter being Bretonnia VS Lizardmen. Campaigns were released which were heavily involved in the lore; [[The Grudge Of Drong]] featured a conflict between Elves and Dwarfs which lead to the [[War of the Beard]], Tears Of Isha involved the bitter war between the High and Dark Elves, Idol Of Gork was the first time that Orcs were truly Orcy as known today with the introduction of [[Gork]] and [[Mork]] (or was it Mork and Gork?), Circle of Blood as the [[Vampire Counts]] (then still one army with the [[Tomb Kings|Mummies]]) VS Bretonnians as the first introduction of the [[Abhorash|Blood Dragons]], and Perilous Quest as a war between the Bretonnians and [[Wood Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Wood Elves]] during their introduction to the lore.

Each campaign came with multiple endings decided by player involvement (becoming the precursor to Warhammer events and one of GW's biggest fuckups), paper scenery which defined the architectural styles of the featured races from then on (although this was sadly the last time these races got scenery before everything simply became Empire and Chaos), and a campaign book summarizing the story.

At some point it was determined that the stock army lists weren't enough, and so "Army Books" (for Warhammer) and "Codex Books" (for 40Kl, later simply "Codex:(faction)") began to come out, each bringing new models and rules into the game. The last round of these for 40K (''Codex: Tyranids'' in particular) tended to make the army ridiculously overpowered and make everyone ''else'' want a new Codex to rectify the balance. Perhaps the ultimate example of ''Second Edition'' philosophy was the last book, ''Codex: Assassins'', which consisted of nothing but four hideously powerful special characters. These included [[Culexus|this asshole]] who caused the psychology effect ''Terror'' to all psykers, regardless of anything, meaning Greater Daemons and Hive Tyrants would occasionally shit themselves and run for the hills when faced with a normal-sized human.

[[Image:Haet trees.jpg|thumb|FUCK TREES]]
One notable aspect of this period was that Games Workshop hated trees, and would thus include several million cards in every boxed set if given the slightest provocation; the core sets for ''Warhammer'' and ''Warhammer 40,000'' both received an update governing the magic / psychic system which consisted solely of cards and templates (which were card). Some entire games (''Doom of the Eldar'', ''Battle for Armageddon'', ''[[Horus_Heresy#The_Board_Game|Horus Heresy]]'') came out in this period which consisted of nothing but a board and lots of high-density card counters to lose down the back of the sofa or inside the dog.

[[Gorkamorka]] came out in 1997, and was Priestley's answer to Mad Max meets 40k, featuring Orks in different groups crashed on a desolate planet using vehicular weapons to slaughter each other.
Third edition Epic was released as well as a single game with simplified rules, but it was a financial failure after barely moving any units in six months and was recalled. This is unfortunate because [[Jervis Johnson]] and [[Andy Chambers]] consider it the greatest game they ever made. Most of the planned models were never released.

[[Mordheim]], the Fantasy version of Necromunda set in the ruins of an Empire city where all factions are scrambling for control was released in 1998.

The last Specialist Game was [[Battlefleet Gothic]], essentially Man O'War in space using massive battleships.

And did no one think of [[Blood Bowl]]?

<gallery>
Image:Talisman 3e.jpg
Image:5e Fantasy.png
Image:Grudge of Drong Cover.jpg
</gallery>
===Learning The Wrong Lessons===
Despite the Specialist Games being massively popular, Kirby had expanded Games Workshop incredibly fast into unknown markets and as a result a massive amount of Gorkamorka sets in French, Spanish, and Italian were left unsold while English demand was high. Games Workshop was left almost on the verge of bankruptcy, causing a new sales philosophy to be decided upon. Rather than one based on restraint and market research as one would expect, the new direction was "only sure things, minimize risk". Suddenly, the irony of the 40k setting was dropped. The Imperium suddenly WAS the heroes, and Chaos was the evil that always wins in the end rather than these things being the punchline at the end of a sarcastic joke.

One of Bryan's policies for the company was that the production studio and creative minds must always be kept in charge of marketing or the company would die. Kirby, after Gorkamorka, decided the opposite was true. Given today's hindsight it turns out Bryan was right and this was one of many of Kirby's bad decisions.

Plans were made to phase out all of the Specialist Games, and over the next few years the only things available were simply unsold stock. An excuse was made for the first, Man O'War, that the molds had broken and somehow couldn't be fixed (bullshit for many reasons). The rest were quietly and unceremoniously dumped while all references to them were dropped as well.

Sometime in the run-up to ''Third Edition'', it was decided that models should switch from toddler-murdering lead to safe, pointy pewter (or "white metal" as the industry (not just GW) insisted on calling it). This led to a 25% cross-board increase in all metal mini costs, even those ordered through Citadel's back catalog (because those figures from their back catalogue were cast up, when ordered, in the new white metal). At this point, it seemed something clicked in the heads of GW's management; they had just made a ton more money without actually doing anything. Perhaps they could do that again.

''Third Edition'' 40K came out in 1998 and Warhammer Fantasy Battles 6th Edition (featuring Orcs VS Empire, and the last edition to come with paper scenery) came in 2000, both reducing the dominance of single munchkin characters in favour of large armies, conveniently meaning players had to buy far more models. Then along came the fucking screw-tops, and proof that any pretense of caring about the customer had been cast aside.

===Ringhammer===
Games Workshop had begun to suffer financial troubles in the late 90's with competition from the surging (and independent) Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition, [[Magic: The Gathering]], and [[Pokemon]] (no seriously, Pokemon was THAT fucking big back then).

The answer? Huge cash cow intellectual property. Priestley suggested to Kirby they cash in on the upcoming Lord of the Rings movies with the Lord Of The Rings Strategy Battle Game. Kirby was unable to see Priestley's ulterior motives through the dollar signs in his eyes and approved the project at once, so that particular series moved away from large and complex kits back to the roots of single characters and groups of soldiers.

[[Alessio Cavatore]], a major developer of Mordheim and supplement materials, was also put on the project and it was applauded by the gaming community. Games Workshop blew through the movie material and even began making miniatures based on things from Tolkien's works that weren't in the movie such as Tom Bombadil and Goldberry. Not only that, but they also expanded armies that were barely even mentioned in the books or seen in the movies (the Easterlings in particular) and then bragged about it in White Dwarf.

The miniatures were required to be produced in 25mm scale by contract, rather than the 28mm heroic scale used by Warhammer. Its been theorized by fans this was to keep the Tolkien miniatures out of Warhammer and keep their IP from becoming an expansion to GW's existing IP.

===Short Term Gain, Long Term Pain===
The issue is that as hype from the movies diminished, so did sales. Kirby by this point had expanded sales and marketing into autonomy, and when the interest in the game died down (something creative teams said would happen but marketing had shrugged off) the result was marketing attempting to drive up profits with unpopular schemes, the first among these being a major change the range of paints sold.
[[File:Citadel Paint Pots.jpg|thumb|right|300px|As time drug on, pots had less paint and worse seals.]]
The "problem" with the older flip-top paint pot designs that had been sold up until this point was that they actually kept [[paint]] usable for a long time. While the Citadel flip-top pot suffered from shit hinges and opening tabs which would both break after about four uses, [[rip and tear|a real man opens paint with his teeth anyway]] so that was not a problem. Obviously, these flip-tops were no good to GW, and so a new pot, the Screw(you)top, was designed which would gunk up its own thread and either glue itself shut forever or prevent an airtight seal forming after a couple of uses.

Apparently forgetting ''every other company in existence'' that made model paints, GW also raised the price of these new and terrible things; clearly justified, since they contained a mere 30% '''less''' paint than the old design. It was also around this point that photographs of the [['Eavy Metal]] studio started to vanish from the pages of ''White Dwarf'' (along with all other content that could be considered useful for anything at all other than advertising models) since they kept forgetting to hide all their non-Citadel gear for photoshoots. Even though, of course, everyone had known for ''years'' that the painters didn't "mix Snot Green with a little Chaos Black" to get a paint shade that was in Tamiya or Vallejo's stock range. Nowadays of course we can get the good stuff for cheap from [[Privateer Press]] (problem, GW?), but back then it was just ''fucking terrible''. GW managers and staff also suffered a change in personality, pushing the idea that anything other than GW was a ''plague'', and it was to be treated as such. "Saw you just bought some Knights of Minas Tirith, well, what about a Stompa?"

Games Workshop, highly resistant to change (ironically), began to see the shifting face of tabletop gaming towards electronics as unimportant with Kirby even calling video games "a fad". Just as Games Workshop had crushed their competition with physical stores, the internet distribution saw many new companies begin to emerge as they brought their products directly to the consumer via the internet. Games Workshop attempted to compete in this regard, although they never moved past having anything more complex than a digital version of a catalog and a little-moderated forum (which was closed down to much rage in the 2000's). Games Workship kneejerked and made White Dwarf exclusively Games Workshop products, allowing longtime competitor [[Dragon Magazine]] to reign triumphant as the source of tabletop gaming news in the last age of printed publications. Meanwhile a new market had emerged of making miniatures specifically designed to look like Warhammer models and be used in the game. This...did not go over well, and Games Workshop came to be known as ready to sue anyone at the drop of a hat, even once famously attempting to copyright "[[Pauldrons]]" and sue over the concept of a wolfskin cloak on a viking-looking warrior.

Prices began to ramp up ridiculously as GW realized they could charge whatever the hell they liked and their longterm fans would still pay. While GW was never particularly cheap, their chunky kits ended up in the same price bracket as top-quality scale miniatures by other companies; today, a [[Citadel Miniatures|Citadel]] Space Marine Hunter( 125-parts entirely cast in opaque plastic) costs about the same as AFV club's Churchill mk3 (400+ parts with 2 vinyl tracks, 22 metal springs, 29 Etched Brass pieces and a turned aluminium barrel). At some point, someone remembered that back in ''Second Edition'' days they actually had people willing to pay for gigantically expensive, limited-edition lead Thunderhawk Gunships. To hit this niche of "people with more money than sense," [[Forge World]] was created; all you had to do was get mom and dad to sign that second mortgage and stop being so damn selfish and a 40K-scale Titan would be yours.

===Minimize Effort, Maximize Rage===
In the year 2000, [[Warmaster]] was released. Designed by Based Priestley, it was essentially the Warhammer Fantasy version of Epic.
[[File:Gw_logo.png|thumb|400px|[[/pol/]] approves of the new logo]]
Fourth edition Warhammer 40k was released in 2004, and was more an advertisement for more models than an actual edition. It was advertised as being "backwards compatible", mostly because by itself it was barely a game. The rulebook was mostly sections of painted licensed plastic terrain and large models than anything else.

In 2005, Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay was given a second edition which was largely the same but was up to date with the lore, and had a better magic system. It was used more to advertise the wargame however than as a frontline product. This came with a single unified rulebook for Lord Of The Rings that included the (greatly) expanded line in the form of the One Rulebook to Rule them All.

Around this time the bulk of plastic Warhammer scenery was released, with almost all of it in Fantasy geared towards the Empire or Chaos (with some trees maybe representing Elves?) and 40k towards the Imperium or Chaos (with a few Necron and Tau pieces from Forgeworld). Games Workshop had seemingly decided who the main characters were, and some factions in either game from this point on only were mentioned in passing while receiving no support or updates.

Seventh edition Warhammer Fantasy Battles in 2006 luckily avoided this, with Battle For Skull Pass as the starter set between Dwarfs and [[Goblins|Night Goblins]]. This marked the last major change for Warhammer Fantasy, as the next update only really changed by adding more models and having minor rebalancing. Many fans of armies like Bretonnia and Wood Elves were left very unhappy their army was not updated in 7e, relying on outdated rules and thus being extremely underpowered all in favor of an event.
Looking to resurrect the dying Lord Of The Rings game, Games Workshop released Legions Of Middle Earth, an "expansion" suggesting buying larger groups of models to use in a theme force using the existing rules.

[[Storm of Chaos]] was released as the major event of the 2000's to much pomp and circumstance, supposedly being the canonical transition from the old into the new as Chaos made its great attempt to destroy reality while every faction strapped on their wardrums and marched into the clusterfuck. Players were selected to actually play the factions to drive the narrative, and the community was kept informed of what was going on. There was a problem however... Chaos couldn't win. The bulk of the story for the event was driven by the fact a fuckhuge Chaos army was invading, but the players for Chaos couldn't even manage to scrape out of the starting gate. So the narrative kept going that Chaos was a fuckmassive force that made all the other fuckmassive forces pretty much not worthy of note, and every time a player on another faction beat a Chaos player before turn four the story would state that the other player had ''barely'' delayed the forces of Chaos for only a brief time and at great cost, sometimes their complete destruction occurring anyway despite the actual battle report results saying no Chaos survived the battle and almost none of the other army was killed.

In the end, Chaos was given one last chance in the very last match as the defenders (meaning they had the advantage) in the last battle. Even this, they lost. Badly. In a phone-in result where Games Workshop made a desperate bid that fans would choose for Chaos to win and make all the actual promised narrative unnecessary, players chose to let Chaos deservedly lose. So the event ended with [[Grimgor Ironhide|a single crazy fucking Orc]] headbutting [[Archaon|Chaos Darth Vader]] in the balls, laughing at him, and walking away and thus saving the world in an ending befitting a Saints Row game. Games Workshop quickly stopped promoting the event and from that point on pretended it never happened. Combined with their Eye of Terror campaign for 40k, where Chaos conquered Cadia but lost their entire fleet in Battlefleet Gothic games (leading GW with nowhere to go aside from 'Chaos sits on a planet until the Imperium shoot them off of it') caused GW to lose faith in player-driven narrative, due to the fact [[derp|that the players were driving the narrative.]]

In 2008, fifth edition Warhammer 40k was released and borrowed heavily from 7e WFB as well as implemented a HEAVY emphasis on cover rules while making shooting much more important. In 2009 Games Workshop launched released War Of The Ring, which made the skirmish game into a full-fledged wargame. The rules were highly simplified to enable quick games with larger groups of models.

===Dawn of the Great Derpening===
[[File:GWstockfail2.jpg|thumb|300px|right|GeeDub's stock taking a very hard fall. Coincidentally, their drop in stocks coincided with the 6th Edition release of the ultra-nerfed [[Tyranid]]s codex. Hilarious when you consider them to be the "shadow across the warp", it would appear that the Tyranids became GW's shadow across their profits, something they have yet to recover from after half a year. (The share price collapse was actually caused by a less-than-promising financial report released that day.)]]
The early 2010's could generously be described as GW's '''UNHOLY FUCKING DISASTER'''.

To start with, in 2010, Based Priestley left Games Workshop forever, saying that "the creative team was no longer doing anything creative" and "game development and game design wasn't of any interest to them. The current attitude in Games Workshop is that they're not a games company, that they're a model company selling collectibles."

In May 11th 2011, Games-Workshop's new terms of use [[Embargo | restricts sales of all of their products to the European Economic Area]], (EU + Norway, Switzerland and Iceland). This essentially removed Games Workshop products from online distributors other than themselves, and furthermore made their actual in-store stock of products highly limited with many models only being available directly through them (although many Friendly Local Game Stores will order from their website to fulfill requests). Oh, and they spiked the prices another 10-15% for most models.

Additionally, all metal models were on their way to being discontinued, to be replaced with much more expensive [[Finecast|Resin]] kits which were INCREDIBLY unpopular with the community due to low quality casts and high price without the sense it was worth it. Unlike the pewter kits (which are basically tin), the resin kits are loaded with carcinogens; strange, since last anyone checked the reason for switching to pewter in the first place was that lead was toxic (and nothing to do with hiking the price). The quality of the product could lead one to believe it was much much cheaper, but [[Casting|resin damages the mold more than pewter because it sticks to the mold more]]. It gets expensive when you have to replace molds more often, and they also break fairly easily so that all the little ten year old Smurf players have to buy new ones when they snap them in half. So essentially, Games Workshop not only ruined the quality of their models, they jacked up the prices and made it nearly impossible for anyone outside the EU and 'murrica to obtain it. Kinda like going from fine French wine to your corner-store cheap beer... and the beer is more expensive than the wine. And the beer gives you cancer.

Then-Chairman Tom Kirby mentioned in a 2011 press release that they were increasing cost cutting measures and making more products while avoiding mention of actual profits (note this is a summary, not his exact words). Given their charts, it was easy to see why he chose not to disclose the company's profits (or lack thereof).

[[File:Games Workshop Stocks.png|thumb|right|300px|Not being able to increase your revenue in a decade is a bad sign.]]
In 2013, Games Workshop decided to transfer their sales restriction to Canada, just as they had to Europe. As the United States had already had international sales cut back in 2003, this had lead to a large online market for Canadian retailers, selling their products at discount sales to US customers. However, with this new change, all international sales in North America are now completely gone, as GW once again decided to fuck over long term customers and local retailers in favor of luring more small children with disposable income to their overpriced, neckbeard-run stores.

MiniWargaming, a well known FLGS with an extensive online store, decided to close shop because of these new rules. Their store manager made [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnPpfs120DA an entire video explaining their reasons and going over just how asinine Games Workshop's new rules are.] Between jacking up prices, locking down international sales, and screwing over online sales and bitz sales, Games Workshop intentionally set itself on the fast track to running itself into the ground in the eyes of long term followers. Possibly due to their apparent belief that removing the entire world (excluding European Economic Area and Canada) from their consumer base is a good idea.

As far as games went, they at least made a dent on that front.

Eight Edition Warhammer Fantasy was released in 2010, introducing 40k-esque large models (and pretending Storm of Chaos didn't happen). Many fans hold that this is the most balanced the game ever was, despite some particularly nasty cheese existing and some factions STILL not getting long overdue updates and having to rely on 6th edition books in a system that had nerfed the core mechanics their models relied on. It was also best not to think about how a number of the situations that could arise would realistically play out or else your head would explode, since this was the edition in which fuckhuge orcs on boars would charge a unit of skinks, and they'd all die before they could even attack. It also had units dedicating their entire lives to protecting a weak frog turn and flee, while the weak frog stayed back and fought to the death in order to ensure his guards escaped. In 2011 it was expanded with [[Storm of Magic]] which introduced fuckhuge monsters from Forgeworld that could be summoned, as well as a redone (and pretty broken) magic system. This did poorly however as the magic was terribly balanced in the main game anyway, the additions here just made it worse and the additional spells/bonuses meant to help the weaker lores were only useful to a small number of armies/situations, while the prices of the monsters were laughably high and the rules for them were not worth taking over basic infantry.

Blood in the Badlands came out in 2012 and added siege combat and advanced scenarios to the game, strangely echoing the early days of Warhammer. As Lord Of The Rings interest had largely waned, it was rereleased with updated rulebooks, new models, and licensed The Hobbit miniatures in 2012 as well.

Between all that in 2012 came sixth edition Warhammer 40k, borrowing even more heavily from Warhammer Fantasy with psychic powers becoming a clone of Fantasy's magic phase while scenery became interactive. Furthermore, armies were no longer exclusive with mixed-faction lists being possible.

In 2013, Sigmar's Blood came out with a campaign between the Empire and Vampire Counts lead by [[Mannfred von Carstein]], introducing advanced diplomacy rules mostly involving misfortune, and The Desolation Of Smaug expansion to Lord Of The Rings finished off 2013 releases.

In late 2015, pop culture business site ICv2 reported that [[X-Wing]] [http://spikeybits.com/2016/03/warhammer-dethroned-top-5-miniature-games.html had dethroned Warhammer 40K as the top-selling miniatures game in the United States]. GW ''could have'' tried to sue George Lucas and Disney over the concept of a fascist galactic empire with fully-armored soldiers who enforce the Emperor's will, but sadly even they weren't that stupid, and they instead retaliated by refusing to renew [[Fantasy Flight Games]]' licences to the Warhammer IPs. (It could also be due to FFG being bought by Asmodee, a company GW views as a direct competitor to their new line of "Boxed Games".)

===The Fall of Warhammer===
[[File:Gymz Porkchop.jpg|thumb|300px|left]]
In 2014 the [[End Times]] event was announced for Warhammer Fantasy while Warhammer 40k got its seventh edition. 7e 40k removed restrictions even more on armies and simply allow you to mostly take whatever you want if you are okay with not getting some bonuses, although you get advantages for sticking to groups existing in the canon. Otherwise it added a lot more to the game, not all of it good. Notably Gargantuan Creatures and Super-heavies were added into the game and the world was introduced to the horrors of Unbound lists (as well as GW's obsession with formations - GW's way of selling their stocks of unpopular models by giving powerful bonus rules when playing them in bulk). They also added even more Warhammer Fantasy-esque psychic and terrain rules.

Meanwhile, End Times... ended Warhammer Fantasy. Billed as the next big thing, the event consisted of staggered releases of extremely expensive books, nearly as much as a new starter set, and new (very large and expensive) models. The books contained scenarios, massive amounts of lore, and also removed a great deal of restrictions on how armies are built; first by allowing an army to be 50% low-level characters (Heroes) and 50% high-level characters (Lords) so long as the default core requirement of 25% of your army on basic troops was fulfilled while turning every spellcaster into a master of magic, then by making magic even more fucking insane by diddling with spells and giving a metric fuckload of dice to cast them, then in the final book simply throwing all listbuilding rules out the window and saying "take whatever the fuck you want and put it on the table". Meanwhile the story consisted of nearly everyone except the Undead and Skaven taking it up the ass HARD from Chaos as it slowly meandered its way through all opposition to the heart of the Empire (read: what they wanted from Storm of Chaos); the undead got forcibly united under a reborn [[Nagash]] and the Skaven trolling everyone who was fighting Chaos. In the end the final faceoff occurred between Chaos (joined by the Skaven) and the "heroes" of the setting (both including and joined by the Undead). The "heroes" all failed miserably and were consumed by black nothingness filled with plagues, gnashing teeth, evil intellects, and naughty tentacles as the world simply '''ENDS'''. Fantasy fans were left feeling cold and full of hate, and for nearly a year simply assumed their setting had been completely and unceremoniously raped to death while all the resources and time they'd invested into the hobby had become worthless.

On a side note, multiple video games for Warhammer Fantasy were announced with some being released in this time, leaving fans tearing their hair out in frustration at the idiocy of killing a setting, then FINALLY making decent video games for it. This games include [[Total War: WARHAMMER]], [[Mordheim: City Of The Damned]], [[Man O' War: Corsair]], and [[The End Times: Vermintide]].

===Age Of Skubmar: The Great Derpening===
[[File:El Presidente Gym Porkchop.jpeg|thumb|left|500px|"El Presidente Gee Double U, the people wish to express their love and dedication to you. They may have used different words."]]
[[File:Age Of 40k.png|thumb|right|500px|Like a gut-torn rabbit hiding in a wooded thicket.]]
When it seemed it couldn't get any worse, Games Workshop then decided that since it had made 40k mostly like Fantasy, it would make Fantasy into 40k. A happier, LSD-fueled version of 40k.

That version, believed by some to have actually been made with [[Skub]] mixed directly into the material, was [[Age of Sigmar]] which removed literally ALL limitations on army building (as in you can take any models in the game from any faction in any number and call it an army, with rules for your opponent to play the game with an easy win condition if your army is x3 the size of theirs) and consists of a skirmish game which only has four rules, officially making it even less of a Warhammer than Warhammer 1st edition.

If that wasn't enough, almost everything was arbitrarily renamed to be trademark friendly. Zombies became "Deadwalkers", Elves became "Aelves", Dwarfs became "Duardin" despite the perfectly good trademark-friendly "Dawi" sitting right there, and Lizardmen were given the hilariously terrible name "Seraphon" which, if googled, brings up the career work of a [[furry]] tickle-fetish artist. (In their defense, the name already existed as the name of Elf Darth Vader's dragon in Warhammer. In their offense, the connection between that and Lizardmen was never actually given, so it's a moot point.) The only factions that escaped the renaming were the Bretonnians and Tomb Kings, but that turned out to be foreshadowing akin to seeing a huge silver line on the horizon on the day you plan to go to the beach.

The story was worse still, consisting of Norse mythology mixing with superhero comics in an awkward combination where Chaos Gods can be kidnapped by Elves, Warhammer Darth Vader becomes the master of the Dark Side rather than the other way around, and characters introduced and given importance in one book immediately die in the next.

The advertising for Age of Sigmar was the rules (all four pages of them) and the stats of existing models being free on launch, followed by outrageously expensive digital content that updated the game, the core lore advancement being contained within scenario books that are ludicrously expensive, and a requirement for many scenarios to have specific models which includes the expensive as hell new terrain, the rules of which can only be viewed by buying the model. To put it simply, Games Workshop managed to take the hated practice of DLC content in video games and push it fully, hard and deep into tabletop gaming.

To top it all off, Games Workshop, almost overnight, took down their iconic Space Marine statue that had sat in front of their headquarters for years and replaced it with a giant statue of a Stormcast Eternal (the <strike>Sigmarines</strike> Space Marines of Age of Sigmar). They also replaced the Imperium Eagle with Stormcast-style wings and a Ghal Maraz replica to really hammer the point home (pun intended). [[RAGE| The beloved servant of the Emperor was relegated to being hidden under a staircase and behind an advertisement for Age of Sigmar.]] We... really wish we were making this up.

Games Workshop had promised their investors in 2014 that 2015 would be a massive year of financial returns, although by the time of the [http://www.iii.co.uk/research/LSE:GAW/news/item/1792782/half-yearly-report-and-trading-update?context=LSE:GAW Half Yearly Report] they had grown a mere 1%. To make matters worse, this included the ample revenue from their new video game licenses as Age of Sigmar had been largely rejected by large portions of the gaming community as many stores were completely unable to even move starter sets, resulting in a few months of them being at clearance prices online through third party distributors. Further still, many [[FLGS]] dumped all Fantasy Warhammer stock, some even dropped Games Workshop stock entirely.

Considering the 2015 Financial Report of Games Workshop, Age of Sigmar was going nowhere and GW outright stated they do no market research and did not plan to start. [http://www.iii.co.uk/news-opinion/richard-beddard/games-workshop-agm%3a-relentless-profit-machine They believe that only 20% of their fans actually play the game or give a fuck about the story so in their eyes the plot and rules are not to blame for any major decrease in sales and anyone who doesn't like it can fuck off.] Like it or not, Warhammer Fantasy is dead and buried while Age of Smegmar is here to stay.

Games Workshop plugged on ahead regardless by rebranding themselves, changing the names of Games Workshop Hobby Stores worldwide to Warhammer Stores after the deathrattle of The Hobbit merchandise.

===The Hangover===
Following the disastrous launch of Age of Sigmar, Games Workshop announced a plan in December 2015 to resurrect the Specialist Games division and the games Blood Bowl, Epic, Necromunda, Battlefleet Gothic, "And Many, Many More" while resurrecting the Tolkien games.

In February 2016, it was believed that Games Workshop used a Cease And Desist order to shutdown [[Warseer]], the largest Warhammer community forum other than /tg/, but thankfully that turned out to be a simple virus and database corruption (but to be fair, one could hardly be blamed for thinking GW responsible). In more substantiated dick-move news, Josh Reynolds, a freelance writer employed by Games Workshop known for actually answering fan questions about the setting and filling in plot holes in End Times (as many, MANY characters and plots were forgotten in the event even between books) and attempting to assure fans [[Sigmarines]] and Space Marines are totes different, was essentially told to shut the fuck up about GW IPs on social media while his entire list of lore mending was declared non-canon via being told to say nothing he writes reflects GW outside novels.

Going even further into community-souring, the popular Tomb Kings line and faction was squatted unceremoniously in the same month (worse than Squatted, at least the Squats got an explanation in-fluff as to why they disappeared), putting an end to Warhammer Egyptians and axing the faction that gave rise to all remaining Warhammer Undead. Needless to say, this was NOT well-received by fans, especially those who played Tomb Kings themselves and those sick of Age of Sigmar Stormstormed Stormbolters and their leader, the Celestial Primarch. This doesn't make sense, even for GW given their love of copyrights and patents, since the Tomb Kings faction was one of GW's more original creations (an Egyptian-themed non-evil undead civilization) and thus are easier to copyright (they could even have patented the name unlike with Space Marines or elves).

The only positive of axing the Tomb Kings is that it somewhat toughened the fanbase to endure when GW continued their douchey warpath by axing the Bretonnians faction and a large chunk of the Warhammer Fantasy models still in production. This included almost all named characters, while survivors of the purge were renamed to be generic (in a horrifying twist of fate, the very first Warhammer character Heinrich Kemmler was reassigned the name "Necromancer"). This wave of axing was mixed with wave after wave of Khorne Chaos, Archaon Chaos, and Sigmarine updates leaving everyone either with balls bluer than Tzeentch's ass (and Slaanesh's imprisoned everything) or dreading when their faction book came out and gutted classic and beloved models forever.

To sum up - GeeDubs started to fix their shit, but decided it was too much effort and went back on being raging dickmongers as usual.

A report that the 30k boxed set ''Betrayal At Calth'' had outsold the entire Age range coupled with a stock value steadily dropping down to their 2012 status in early/mid 2016 may have shocked stockholders, because the armies of Order that were squatted had selected models returned to the store for a "Last Chance, for reals this time guys!" sale on 4/18/16. Within the day most of the models had already sold, leaving the newest Sigmarines to remain collecting dust in their place.

===In Summary===
''It is the 3rd Millennium. For more than a hundred months Games Workshop has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Nottingham. It is the foremost of wargames by the will of the neckbeards, and master of a million tabletops by the might of their inexhaustible wallets. It is a rotting carcass writhing invisibly with business strategies from the early Industrial Revolution Age. It is the Carrion Lord of the wargaming scene for whom a thousand veteran players are sacrificed every day, so that it may never truly die.''

''Yet even in its deathless state, GW continues its eternal vigilance. Mighty battleforce starter-sets cross the online-store-infested miasma of the internet, the only route between distant countries, their way lit by a draconian retail trade-agreement, the legal manifestation of the GW's will. Vast armies of lawyers give battle in GW's name on uncounted websites. Greatest amongst its soldiers are the Guardians of the IP, the Legal Team, bio-engineered super-assholes. Their comrades in arms are legion: the writing team and countless untested rulebooks, the ever vigilant redshirts, and the writers of White Dwarf, to name only a few. But for all their multitudes, they are barely enough to hold off the ever-present threat from other games, their own incompetence, Based Chinaman - and worse.''

''To support Games Workshop in such times is to spend untold billions. It is to support the cruelest and most dickish company imaginable. These are the tales of those times. Forget the power of sales discounts and Warhammer Fantasy Battle, for so much has been dropped, never to be re-published again. Forget the promise of cheaper digital content and caring about the fanbase, for in the GW HQ there is only profit-seeking, Space Marines and Sigmarines. There is no fun amongst the hobby shops, only an eternity of raging and spending, and the laughter of former employees who left GW to join better companies.''

===New Games Workshop™: How Do You Do, Fellow Gamers?===
It was not expected, we couldn't have known, since the resignation of supreme leader [[Tom Kirby]] and the ascension of new CEO [[Kevin Rountree]] there has started to appear a pattern, sporadic reports of real discounts at [[Forgeworld]] and [[Black Library]], and then, in the last days of 2015 it has been revealed that major changes are coming, the sudden resurrection of specialist games, Games Workshop releasing starter sets with real ''saving'', all around the internet neckbeards are discussing and watching, wondering what's going on, perhaps the new guy in charge has decided is time to take some contingencies for the inevitable demise of tabletop gaming with the ever increasing development in 3D printing and the emergence of new alternatives. It seems like the boxes are a replacement for the old Battleforce packs, and while you don't get as many units as the old box, they are cheaper and usually come with a good mix of units to start a small army.

And now, there's an [http://warhammerworld.games-workshop.com/the-bugmans-xxxxxx-league-cup/ official (as in hosted and ran by the almighty GeeDubs themselves) Blood Bowl tournament] going on at Warhammer World on May 21st. Truly these are strange times. GW also appears to be preparing to start selling their product in toy stores (Toys-R-Us Etc.) as well as producing various Warhammer Merchandise such as pillows and journals (For Some Reason). Also now they've made a 40k starter set with simplified rules and all the paint you need to assemble the models. Clearly the sky is falling. (Also they've started making conversion tutorials and stuff, for some reason).

They also actually maintain their Facebook page now, and the other night they had an Age of Sigmar live tournament...

Also a number of the staff now have twitter accounts.

They've also taken over the internet leak game. When a sprue for the new Ahriman model was found on E(vil)Bay, GW not only showed off the sprue, but also the upcoming Kharn model. And recently, they've shown not only Daemon Primarch Magnus, but also new artwork, teased the Thousand Sons sprue, and made a reference to plastic SoB. Strangely, they had the Magnus video up and running mere hours after the model was leaked. And the red trashcan seen in the video looks similar to the background of the leaked photos. Is GW leaking their own products to get the Hype train up and running? Just as Planned, so it seems. Discussions with my local GW guy indicated it was a rogue employee, as nobody else would be allowed anywhere near the new models, probably a cleaner, who leaked the pictures.

BUUUUUTTT... They rehired Matt Ward.
May or may not be responsible for the return of Roboute Guilliman (which ironically has earned a lot of character development thanks to his return to 40k), or maybe Bobby G's return it's a symbolic gesture that they have finally decided to start fixing everything.

While some people will never be happy, there are few than can deny that GW has been making a massive improvement in the last year or so with their products, content, and relationship with the community. Genuinely good deals, well received releases and ad campaigns (the recent hero bases one is positively goofy, but in a "that's the GW we used to know and love" kinda way.), combined with actively encouraging and showing off fan input and content (even producing a house rules data sheet for a conversion AAAAAND putting pictures of [[Your Dudes]] ON THE MODELS PAGE ON THE ACTUAL WEBSITE!!!!!!!!!), altogether it's almost as if, dare I say it, GW has remembered how to be... [[Warhammer Fantasy|fun!]] They even made a new model for [[slambo]]!

Hell, GW is even straight up asking fans what they want brought back in the next made to order wave. Answer: [[Warhammer Fantasy]] (Well, at least we still have Total War: Warhammer as a consolation prize)... But behold friends, They cast Resurrection, hence Warhammer: The Old World!

As of January 2017, Games Workshop stock spiked 41% from November of 2015, '''bringing the stock's value higher than it was before the crash in 2014.''' Secret surveillance done by some fans reveal that after the crash a new board of directors was formed, it includes [[Sigmar]] and [[Roboute Guilliman]] (Matt Ward and Mortarion are teaming up), this may explain the sudden influx of good policies.

Games Workshop has been announced as the biggest riser in FTSE All-share index.

On a tragic side note unrelated to business, one of their most esteemed writers, Alan Bligh, died in May 2017. He will be sorely missed. In his absence the HH released have drastically slowed, probably because this leaves just 3 people in rules detachment for Horus Heresy '''and''' FW WH40k (two of those has little to no experience as rules writers, by the way). New releases still come out here and there, but they're about as common as they delays.

===Current Events===
By the middle of 2018 Games Workshop has gone through many changes, the first indicators were not mere bluff, it seems the company is now in a new phase of expansion and successfully recovering terrain both in the skirmish, tabletop and specialist genres, let us see the list of achievements:
*Necromunda is back
**And the Squats with them, or at least a remnant in the form of a beardy mercenary, effectively killing the 20 years old meme (although they were at least mentioned again as far back as the 2012 6th edition rulebook). Not only that, but when they revealed his return, they referenced the meme themselves, making fun of the "Squat Clock" joke.
*In Warhammer Fest 2018 they released a photo of one of the new Sisters of Battle plastic models, the level of detail is exceptional, and it's just a line trooper.
*Adeptus Titanicus came back, in plastic, which, while it may be expensive, lets you use your knights, which mean it may be accessible even to people which "just" can buy knights.
*While Dawn of War 3 didn't go as well as expected, a new line of videogames are here, including the aforementioned Total War series with legacy tomb kings and Bretonnia, Adeptus Mechanicus, Vermintide 2 (which has sold over a million on PC), a videogame version of Titanicus, an enhaced edition of Spacehulk: Deathwing, the strategy game Gladius and Battlefleet Gothic: Armada 2 (which is set in the Gathering Storm).
*Duncan Rhodes and Chris Peach painting tutorials and tips of the day have become recurrent.
*Forgebane has become the first starter set with factions other than Space Marines, featuring [[Necron]]s and [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] trying to out-geek each other.
*Did we mention [[Kill Team]] is coming back?
*With Warhammer Community and Facebook GeeDubs has fully taken into the web and social media, with regular updates as well as regular, if controlled, interaction between the admin and the people posting in Facebook.
*Most units and armies of 40k can give now a decent fight, with long-time dead loads like mandrakes, Pyrovore, flayed ones and the likes now being useful.
*Age of Sigmar is bringing quite original factions such as the Kharadron Overlords and the Idoneth Deepkin, with less emphasis in Tolkienesque armies and more in "let's try to make this faction unique", also they have toned down the noblebright with Malign Portents, which gives a lot of focus on Nagash and his centuries-old plans to take over the Mortal Realms.
*Black Library has worked out to give more deep to the characters and settings of 40k and AoS, the former is exploring the aftermath of the Noctis Aeterna and the Indomitus Crusade, while setting some of the books in Holy Terra itself and its denizens, in AoS there has been more focus in exploring the background and personality of the Stormcast Eternals, their former lives, as well as giving some much needed focus to other mortal races and establishing potential new characters.
**On that note, Gotrek is back, with his first novel Realmslayer, looking for Felix in hopes he has reborn in this new reality.
*Some models from the squatted factions, Bretonnians and Tomb Kings, have been briefly returned for the Warhammer classic range.
*GW has gotten fully aboard laughing at themselves, with much of their recent media awash with memes, jokes, and jolly good humor. The reveal trailer of the Stormcast Eternals Sacrosanct Chamber, for instance, has an opening animation that [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9daI6m4KsM looks for all the world like something, well, ''we'' would make].
*Age of Sigmar has gotten a 2.0 edition that looks pretty good so far. The only big downside is the May 2019 Sylvaneth release was delayed with the merchandise stuck in customs, but that was due to Brexit related political and economic problems, which Geedubs acknowledged with good humor. The new Sylvaneth release came out late July and was very good and well-received, so all is fine on the arboreal front.
*With the advent of 40k's Psychic Awakening, GW seems fully intent on keeping the narrative rolling forward (even advertising the promise of wrapping up a number of loose ends), for better or worse. At least in regards to the "better", they fully intend to go into detail about ''all'' the factions in 40k with a slew of new models for good measure.
**''Phoenix Rising'': First on deck is the Craftworld [[Eldar]] feuding with their [[Dark Eldar|sado-masochist kin]]. Jain-Zar paves the way as the first [[Awesome|plastic Phoenix Lord]] leading her Howling Banshee aspect against Drahzar and his Incubi disciples (all of which are also now in plastic). A battlebox set titled ''Blood of the Phoenix'' was released alongside this book featuring the aforementioned units alongside a gaggle of other plastic kits for each faction.
**''Faith and Fury'': Next brings the [[Black Templar]] against the combined might of several [[Chaos Space Marines|Chaos Space Marine Legions]]. Unfortunately, while the book includes expanded rules for the factions within, no new chapter/legion models or battleboxes are being released for the Templar or any of the mentioned CSM Legions. At least a brand new generic CSM [[Sorcerer (Warhammer 40,000)|Sorcerer]] launches with the book.
**''Blood of Baal'': The faceoff between the [[Blood Angels]] against resurgent [[Tyranids]]. A new plastic model for [[Mephiston]] graced the Blood Angels.
**''Ritual of the Damned'': The [[Dark Angels]] & [[Grey Knights]] square up against the [[Thousand Sons]], with a brand new Primaris Company Master for the Dark Angels being released (and no, it's none of the pre-existing ones, they opted to just make a completely new character).
**''The Greater Good'': A three-way war of propaganda erupts between the [[Imperial Guard]], [[Genestealer|Genestealer Cults]] and [[Tau|T'au Empire]]. A fancy new [[Shadowsun]] model launched with the book, as well as a new Start Collecting! bundle for Genestealer Cults, but the Imperial Guard received nothing outside the usual rule supplements.
**''Saga of the Beast'': An appropriately named conflict between the [[Space Wolves]] and [[Ork|Orks]]. A minty fresh plastic [[Ghazghkull Thraka]], [[Makari]] and primaris-ified [[Ragnar Blackmane]] will be released in the ''Prophecy of the Wolf'' battlebox.
**''Engine War'': The most inclusive and innovative Psychic Awakening slated for 2020 yet, the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] and [[Imperial Knight|Imperial Knights]] fight their [[Chaos Knight|corrupted kin]] and the [[Chaos Daemons]] accompanying them. AdMech is getting the single largest batch of new units they've seen since the Skitarii launched back in 7th edition; Skitarii cavalry in the form of Serberys Sulpherhounds and Serberys Raiders mounted on cyberdogs, Sicarian jumppack infantry comprised of Pteraxii Skystalkers and Pteraxii Sterylizors and a 3-in-1 Archeopter with a transport, gunship and bomber variant filling virtually every conceivable role the Admech roster found lacking. Kinda puts every other PA to shame considering most only released one or two updated named characters, [[Imperial Guard|if]] [[Genestealer|they]] [[Tyranids|got]] [[Black Templar|anything]] [[Death Guard|at]] [[Thousand Sons|all]].
**''War of the Spider'': [[Fabius Bile]] will return with a fresh new plastic look, leading his Agents of Bile against a three-way-free-way involving the [[Adeptus Custodes|Talons of]] [[Sisters of Silence| the Emperor]], [[Officio Assassinorum]] and the [[Death Guard]].
**''Pariah'': [[Illuminor Szeras]] in his new plastic make-over and his [[Necron]] host stand against Lord Inquisitor Kyria Draxus and her contingent of [[Adeptus Sororitas]] for... reasons I'm sure.
***Almost as an afterthought, the [[Deathwatch]] and [[Harlequins]] are getting a Psychic Awakening-lite release in the form of two separate White Dwarf articles (couldn't even be paired in the same book against eachother) to be released this summer. Kind of an anti-climactic way to round out the remaining factions, particularly for the Deathwatch (who have their own codex) when the Black Templar (who're just crammed in the generic Space Marine codex) had significantly more fanfare.
*Plastic Sisters of Battle. That is all, even though they ran out of boxes in under three minutes. To be fair, GW apologized and said that, while they expected new SoB to be popular, they never expected them to be THAT popular. [[Shadow War: Armageddon|Because sometimes GW just, doesn't, learn]]. GW also promised to address insufficient number of limited edition boxes (hey, that's capitalism for ya) after new factory is constructed.
* Warhammer: The Old World is technically the return of Warhammer Fantasy, although it won't be released for another three years.
**Despite (or perhaps because of) the continual stream of new releases pouring out monthly, prices still seem to be gradually creeping up to record heights, with the ''Blood of the Phoenix'', ''Adeptus Sororitas: Sisters of Battle Army Set'' and ''Necromunda: Dark Uprising'' box sets well above $200 USD, with the Necromunda set dancing just around $290 USD. This is topped off by the exponentially expanded library of required reading players will need access to in order to play 40k in an official competitive manner (the annual Chapter Approved, the most up-to-date Codex (for Space Marine players, at least), any relevant Codex Supplements, Forge World Armoury Indexes, Campaign or Psychic Awakening books). While the latter issue may not be a concern to more freestyle or casual players, the increasing prices of the box sets make the prospect of getting new players into 40k ever more daunting.
*With the COVID-19 Coronavirus pandemic going global (we know; something, something Nurglites), Games Workshop has ceased doing online orders and closed many if not all of their stores and factories around the world due to lockdown and quarantine in various countries including the UK. Thankfully, GW has been doing their best to maintain connection with the community online, lift spirits, and keep people informed about upcoming (albeit inevitably delayed) new releases.
**As of May 1st, GW's website re-opened for online orders in select locations (their webstore is still closed to the US, Canada, Italy, Australia and New Zealand). Their Forge World website is still closed and the Black Library is restricted to ebook sales only for the immediate future.
**In mid-June GW re-opened physical stores, but social distancing is still recommended (including/especially for the Nurglites).
**GW's webstore is now fully online for everybody again, though many items now have quantity per customer limits to help compensate for their reduced ability to restock supplies.
We are not sure how long this may last, but it seems like, for the recent years, GeeDubs is keeping a nice record, for a time, we may look to the immediate future with optimism (now go get more money, we're optimistic but not stupid).
*Warhammer 40k is entering its 9th edition later in 2020, giving the core rules a fair makeover without changing the gameplay mechanics too much. All 8th edition supplements and codexes are slated to be compatible, albeit scheduled for periodic updated re-releases as the power creep continues to grow. To coincide with 9th edition, GW is ''FINALLY'' releasing a 40k app that (among other, unannounced features) will allow players to create full army lists in a convenient, official way.
**9th edition is also proving to be a very strong start for Necron players who not only seem to be the narrative focus, but will be receiving a slew of new and updated models/units including the [[Silent King]]! Space Marines will be getting new Primaris assault marines, bikers and veterans in their ever onward mission to phase out old-marines, of course.

One minor complaint is that their Youtube comments section is almost always turned off; the complainers have clearly never seem how brain-breakingly terrible YouTube comments are because they'd consider this a good thing if they did. The fact that this is still better than the previous decade and a half shows how bad things really got. Thank fuck for sensible economic choices being finally deemed necessary.

Another complaint aim at GW is them taking a stance in a political issue. After the George Floyd killing and the subsequent outcry, GW released a statement on Twitter. (https://twitter.com/WarComTeam/status/1268665798467432449) The response from the community has been...mixed, with some praising GW for speaking out on an important issue and other saying that they should stay out of politics and accusing them of hypocrisy due to the recent price increase actually excluding more people from the hobby.
*Now the whole message that they wrote was almost certainly corporate bullshit, because almost every big company has released a similar statement, but that hasn't stopped parts of the community acting like retards, with leftyfags using the fact that a corporation said something they agree with to start spouting out shit about forcing people they dislike or disagree with out of hobby and rightyfags are getting upset that some people don't actually like it when they call black people chimps as jokes and will call them names back and blaming this on "the SJW menace". So you know, overly political fucktards are using a tragic situation to try and make the rest of the community assimilate to their way of thinking and calling for their heads if they don't.

==/tg/ Analysis Of Games Workshop==

===Blind Deaf-mutes===
In a [http://www.iii.co.uk/news-opinion/richard-beddard/games-workshop-agm%3a-relentless-profit-machine meeting with shareholders], Games Workshop exhibited their attitudes quite plainly.
*"- the word “Game” in Games Workshop encourages the misconception that games are its business, but that only about 20% of Games Workshop’s customers are gamers. The rest are modellers and collectors. Maybe half of them think about playing now and then. The other half have no intention. People actually walk into the stores because they’re curious about modelling fantastic armies."

When asked "-if the company would sell games with pre-painted easy to assemble miniatures like the popular Star Wars themed X-Wing game" they said:
*"It wouldn’t be a hobby business then, it would be a toy company."

*"-introducing products at new price points is different to reducing the recommended retail price, something the company resolutely refuses to do. It’s considering “putting more value in the box”, discounting in other words, when people buy in number. That ought to encourage gamer-modellers."

*"Potentially lucrative income from licenses granted to video games producers like the much anticipated and soon to be released Total War Warhammer will always be incidental because video gamers do not become modellers, and Games Workshop doesn’t know how to make good video games."

In their 2015 Financial Report, they stated:
*"The Group does not undertake research activities."
In the same report, the words "market" and "research" never referred to the same subject. They claim their main audience is teenagers, although they also state that the hobbyist crowd is their main fanbase. Furthermore, they make assumptions about their fanbase despite admitting that they do not research about them.

So what can be learned? Games Workshop has absolutely no long-term plan other than to make more expensive models, and cater to those who can drop thousands in a single impulse buy. Rather than expanding and reaching out to new customers, they are intentionally becoming a niche market for an elite crowd. In other words?
"Fuck you, you smelly hatless Irishman."

===The Digital Age (And Completely Missing the Point)===
Games Workshop would sign a deal with Apple to sell eBooks on the interwebz, instead of Amazon (the largest retailer worldwide), because then the books would have to be cheaper. Games Workshop refused to understand the fact that eBooks ''almost always'' cost less than what they would if bought from a book store. That 1 pence discount doesn't count.
(From GW point of view, even tho it's stupid to put the same price on eBooks as the Hardcover Army Books/Codices, it makes sense. Because if they were to sell them cheaper, they would sell much less books, meaning they'll lose money from the traditional books. Yes, it cost $80 in Australia for both the eBook and the Hardcover, which again is bullshit.)(A load of crap, 90 dollars for Hardcover Codex, 70 for ebook, in Aus.)

Though in this regard, GW does seem to be slowly figuring out what works: Dataslates are a cheap effective means of deploying models without committing to entire armies/detachments. Essentially like microtransactions. While around £3 might seem like a lot of money for only a few pages of crunch and only two or three new units/formations, they are some of the cheapest products GW have released in a good long time and they do also use these to repost entire rules sections dragged out of the codices in addition to the product itself, so you never needed the codex if you never owned it in the first place.

Some of the Dataslates are extremely high quality (like [[Cypher]]) and are virtually must-haves, while some others are complete dross (Reclusiam Command Squad?) that were dreamed up over a 5 minute coffee break just to sell something. But with the advent of 7th Edition, armies can be made up entirely of dataslates ''(or just go unbound)'' so they are no longer telling you how to build your army any more and you can keep it cheaper by bringing only a few models to make up your chosen formation.

[[File:Gamesworkshopinanutshell.png|thumb|300px|right|Games Workshop's probable downfall.]]

Oh, and they sell them in various formats so you don't need that iPad if you don't have one since eReaders can be downloaded for free and if you still don't have anything to read them on, then have a [[FAIL|think]] about how you got onto the Internet.
<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">
===Why Games Workshop is Bad and Should Feel Bad===
One anon's perpsective on why GW hasn't collapsed in on itself yet. Keep in mind that was written some time during the Derpening when reading this.
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">
Never mind that large groups are often less efficient due to the fact that most people like to agree and be part of a group, even if the group is wrong. Forget that the burden of hard work is often shrugged off thanks to the assumption that everyone else will be carrying enough of the real challenges to pull things through (and that when things go wrong, it's a flaw of human nature that people don't like to admit and accept when they screw up). Instead, focus on the fact that the people heading GW – or most large corporations for that matter – are successful, rich, ordinary men who are blessed by good fortune in an unfair universe and probably don't realize the reality. Further, examine the knowledge that, according to Sun Tzu and a variety of psychological studies, successful rich people with the aforementioned profound luck are the folks most likely to make stupid mistakes out of anyone!

Now you know why GW (or the entire world, for that matter) is run the way it is.

A source of some debate on /tg/ is whether or not it is actually charging prices that make sense for the hobby. All logic points to a resounding “no”, but another interesting social phenomena is this: fanboyism is an inbuilt human process. Whenever money is spent on a good, especially a luxury item, man has a way of increasing the illusionary worth of that item.

Imagine buying tickets to see your local team play football, and they lose. It's not even a good game, to be honest. People around the country were disappointed. However, those tickets cost a lot of money, and having spent all that money for so little in return makes a person feel stupid. We grope for other things, then, to make the tickets worth while rather than admit we were wrong (even if we were only wrong due to events beyond our control) and learn from it. Yes, it was cold, but your wife was there, so you bonded! The beer was too expensive as well, but they sold your favorite brand! You had an experience! It was fun! Yes, those tickets were worth it in the end.

We'll even do this with soft drinks. Even if brain probes reveal a man likes Pepsi more than Coke, going back and telling the man what he was drinking can actually ''alter his memory'' so that he remembers liking the Coke more. It's amazing.

GW products are exactly the same way. They're ludicrously expensive. Even people who support GW fervently wish they weren't. It hurts. In a rough economy, it's hard to play the game. You spend months, years – who knows how long waiting for that new codex, it turns out to be awful compared to expectations (hello, Tyranids!) (UP YOURS ASSHOLE.), and now you've either got to suck it up and keep playing (got to buy the new Trygons, I guess, even though they aren't ''that'' great), or take a huge monetary loss and give up. Fanboyism steps in and makes it all okay. You're not just buying the models, but the game and the network utility too, so 40k is still totally fun and cool!

Big corporations, and GW as well, are predators. They feast on fanboyism. Like the [[Dark Eldar]], they prey on your suffering and write sick, stomach-turning poetry about the flowing, green streams of vital wealth they siphon from your being. You are a toy (''moreso than the articles they sell''). [[Hot Chicks|That cute girl at the convenience store you see all the time?]] Thanks to GW, you have to choose between inviting her to the theater and buying that new squadron of Guardsmen. Those of you scoffing at the dilemma, shut up; those Guardsmen are not going to nag nearly as much after you've had them for a little while, so it's <s>[[Neckbeard|totally a tough call.]]</s>{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* HERESY!!! NOT CHOOSING THE EMPEROR'S FINEST IS HERESY!!!'''}}
But putty in their hands you may be, there are still some principles of basic economics that imply GW ''might not be earning enough revenue,'' and surprisingly, they can only lose more money by raising prices! There's no real way of knowing how things really are within GW without a look at the delicate, inner machinery of their business. But it does all come back to our first consideration: GW is run by the type of person most notable for making poor decisions – lucky, successful people, and a group, no less.

Whatever idiot wrote the following has no _actual_ business sense. Revenue ≠ Profit. Profit = Revenue - Cost... yes, but still give you a good idea about GW policy.

The situation is thus: there is more to money flow than just the bottom line, though often it's all we think of, but basically there's income, cost, and revenue. What is of most concern is revenue, which could also be thought of as [[profit]]. GW sells their models for a greater amount than what they cost, and the amount they make is revenue!

So now, there's revenue, and then there's marginal revenue. Revenue is just how much you make. Sell a thousand Guardsmen and make ten thousand dollars? Your Guardsmen revenue is $10,000! Marginal revenue, on the other hand, is how much you make ''compared to selling one less of the item''. In this case, the Guardsmen have a marginal revenue of $10. Each Guardsman made a profit of $10, and if you sold one less Guardsman, you'd make $10 less. See? Easy. Well, for this simplified example anyway (in reality there are a lot of fixed start-up costs, but point made).

Now let's raise prices. From now on, we'll sell half as many Guardsmen per box, and the boxes will cost the same. Now marginal revenue is $22, because every time a Guardsman is sold, we bring in $20 per Guardsman plus an additional $2 gets saved thanks to the Guardsmen we didn't make! This is cool – we're in business, just like GW, /tg/! Let's do that again – our customers are fans, they'll bear it! Now we'll sell five Guardsmen to a box, and we have a marginal revenue of $45!

Okay, wait, wait. I've got it. I'm a genius. Let's sell one Guardsman. Sell it for the same price we used to sell twenty of them! We're going to be rich! Marginal revenue is going to be amazing! Like, what, over a hundred dollars a purchase?

So what's our profit in the end? What! Negative? How!? We're making ''so much'' per model! The marginal revenue is ''so high''!

The answer is simple. Not enough people are buying one crappy Guardsman for $200 dollars. A few of the fans are sticking it out, hating us relentlessly, but newcomers to the game see the price tag and run screaming. People who can't afford it leave because they have no other choice, but they're happy in retrospect. Even some of our most loyal customers finally decided to just date that girl after all – one gets more of their money's worth from her ([[This Guy|one way]] [[Hot Chicks|or]] [[Promotions|another]]) and they'll deal with her constant bitching. Actual revenue is at an all time low.

Believe it or not, lots of other companies really do make this mistake, albeit not often to this extent (unless you check out [[Forge World]], anyway. Anyone want a Tau [[Manta]]? Under £1,000). It's because maximizing marginal revenue is very easy. It's simple arithmetic, and if your market base is rather inelastic (and GW's market base certainly is due to the high investment requirements of their games), a lot of times price changes won't have a huge impact, so it's easier to focus on. GW is at some point in the middle here, where it has started to become questionable.

It's hard to say if they're making right decisions or if their pricing makes the most sense. It's becoming the status quo that their games are really a hobby of those with absurd disposable income, which is not a quality described of the young men who are presumed to make up 40k's primary demographic. It's possible that they're targeting young teens with parents who will buy the models for them, but that's hard to say as well since parents will lack the dedicated fanboyism to continually invest in the absurdly priced hobby.

Mix in unbalanced rules that unfairly favor certain factions, long wait times between army updates, [[Casting|inferior model quality]] compared to what's provided to model hobbyists outside of the wargaming industry, and GW may have a recipe for a failing market.

In fact, by using some math and basic market theory, we can actually take a look at how much GW is supposedly spending to bring our hobby to us.

The list below will give us some basic numbers to work with. We know that GW currently sells its rule books at $74.25. What we don't know is GW's actual costs or how many books they're selling. These things have an impact on the math, but we'll sort of fudge it. Now, based on that alone, we want to price our book at twice what it costs to make the thing. In the real world all this nice math has the tendency to fly apart, but generally speaking that's the ideal manner of doing things. For example:

Quantity sold: 0
Price of book: $0
Estimated cost to GW: $0
Marginal Cost: $0
Marginal Revenue: $0
Total Revenue: $0

Quantity sold: 1
Price of book: $74.25
Estimated cost to GW: $37.13
Marginal Cost: $37.13
Marginal Revenue: $37.12
Total Revenue: $37.12

Quantity sold: 2
Price of book: $74.25
Estimated cost to GW: $74.25
Marginal Cost: $37.13
Marginal Revenue: $37.12
Total Revenue: $74.25

And so on. Since we're assuming that every book has a fixed cost to produce, we just get a rough idea of what it's actually costing GW to make rule books for us. Or so such is true only if we figure they're trying to price things according to a competitive market where the consumer sets the price. Basic economics says we want to have a marginal revenue equal to our marginal cost if we want to work with a price we can't really control, and that's what this does.

See, there's a few things to consider. The first is that, in a competitive market, people are just going to buy the cheapest product. That means whoever is selling cheapest kind of wins the day, but while GW could maybe sell their rule books at $20 each, they'd be suffering huge profit losses that are not directly proportionate to the change in price. Instead, they'll try to follow along with what the market is doing, and to their very best possible effort, they'll try to lower their costs so that the marginal costs equal the marginal revenue (or, again, their prices are basically double their production costs per item). That just simply maximizes revenue, since if they raise prices their competitors will undercut them and GW will be able to sell nothing.

But honestly, if you've read this far, then hopefully you're braced for this shock. According to estimates from a few publishers, it only costs about $3 per book to publish 5,000 hardback books, and that cost decreases as you publish in greater bulk. 40k books do have a lot of pretty pictures, so maybe that increases costs somewhat, but again, costs generally tend to get smaller as you order more of an item, and it's pretty likely that GW is not just settling for a measly 5,000 books internationally. They sell all over the world.

So where are all these other costs popping up that should cause GW to spend $37 on every single book they produce? In small production quantities, we'd consider the cost of labor. Who knows how much Matt Ward demands to be paid to lick every rule book before it leaves the factory! What do the photographers want in compensation? Actually, ''stop''. At GW's production rates, those expense considerations become almost ''completely negligible.'' You pay Matt Ward a salary to lick all the books. It's a yearly thing. You pay him once and you're done, so by the time you've produced a million books, even if you paid Matt a million dollars to slobber on every single page, Matt is only increasing the cost of the books by a dollar each.

Margins are all that matter. GW talks about overheads and so forth as an excuse, but that's insanity. In a perfectly competitive market you don't increase prices to cover overheads. You reduce the overheads because they're predictable annual costs that you more or less established on your own! Besides, you shouldn't be able to arbitrarily raise prices like that, seeing as how your competitors are supposedly keeping you in check! So really, what we can infer is the following:

A. Basically, GW has no competitors controlling their pricing right now. (This was especially true in the old days. Nowadays, this is less of an excuse as wargames and miniature companies branched out into all sorts of different fields. Thus, the monopoly GW used to have is no more.)

B. They are price gouging their players to fill the pockets of the people who run the company. (This scares off a lot of players, especially ones who have to buy a bunch just to keep up with the inconsistent update schedule or wish to start with a full army. Thus, the only people left are the people rich enough to afford it and those too ignorant to really think otherwise/the GWIDF)

C. Their pricing is not directly related to their costs, and anything they say to the contrary is a big fat lie. (This particular argument is used by Recaster supporters and proponents of 3-D Printers as they slowly advance in complexity to begin making more accurate and good-quality resin models.)

D. You could play another game, but all your friends are playing 40k anyway and you don't want to feel left out.

'''E. Fuck Games Workshop'''. ''' ''FUCK THEM WITH A FUCKING CHAINBLADE. NO. MAKE THAT A DAEMONHAMMER.'' '''

This article also explains the problem with Australian prices, in a slightly less detailed manner; [http://www.kotaku.com.au/2013/04/the-iron-fist-how-games-workshop-intends-to-monopolise-the-online-sale-of-products/]

Games Workshop have sat pretty at the top of the miniature wargames shit-heap for many years (indeed, the scale models industry tries to ignore that they're the biggest single seller of miniatures) and have abused this position to increase their own profits. However, fortunately for the long suffering gamer alternatives are emerging. [[Privateer Press]] for example produce the games [[Warmachine]] and [[Hordes]] and offers slightly cheaper models and starter sets. In the market for wargames Privateer Press and Coolminiornot are rapidly emerging as a viable challenger to GW's monopoly while Reaper Miniatures takes them on using the same tactics that made them in the first place; licensing IP's, and making things for other games. They are the Tau, Dark Eldar, and Chaos to GW's Imperium.

Also worthy of note is [[Mantic Games]] who produce [[Kings of War]], a fantasy battle game in a similar vein to Warhammer. The rules system was even written by former GW man Alessio Cavatore (essentially succeeding at what every frustrated ex-GW employee since 1988 has dreamed of) and it is fast, fluid and a lot more "fun" than Warhammer. The company is pioneering the use of plastic-resin alloy (or 'restic') as a cost effective alternative to pewter. Oh, and equivalent plastic models cost about HALF what GW charge (e.g. GW High Elf Spearmen (16 models) - £20, Mantic Games Elf Spearmen (20 models) - £13.99) the trade-off however is that Mantic models look like hammered dogshit. Mantic are basically the war gaming equivalent of Asylum films.

One can only hope that these new upstarts will beat down GWs monopolistic hold on the [[wargame]] market.
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</div>

===A Sobering Look at GW's Near Collapse===
On top of all the other financial considerations involved with a company like Games Workshop, there's one major concern that was probably gravely overlooked by the company as it raised prices and cut smaller retailers out of the picture: a concept called "network utility". A lot of products are useless unless they're used by a ton of people. A fax machine is a good example - if everyone owns a fax machine, then one person can use his own fax machine to send pictures of his ass to everyone on earth. That's a good value for a single person, and really makes the fax machine worth buying! However, if fewer people buy fax machines, it becomes less and less desirable to own one. After all, why buy a machine that's only capable of sending a picture of your butt to your grandmother, the only other person who still has a machine? Grandma is never impressed, anyway.

A similar concept exists with GW, and they've ignored it over the past couple of years, especially as they've cut models out of starter sets to reduce costs. If you go down to your local game store and everyone is playing Warhammer 40k, not only are you more likely to get into it because of friendly recommendations, but you're also likely to start playing because you know everyone has an army and everyone can play with you! Even if you aren't personal friends with the folks at your local game store, you know that anywhere you go, the people you meet at the FLGS can play the game with you!

Well, several things have happened to the hobby. First and foremost, the models have gotten more expensive; granted, many models only scaled in price with inflation, but since wages have largely stagnated in a lot of markets these past couple decades, to the typical consumer the costs still feel like they've gone up and the players notice the hikes. When a product gets more expensive, people naturally quit buying it. This thins the herd.

Meanwhile, GW also drags its feet when it comes to codex updates, and when it does update, there's no telling whether or not a new codex is going to be a complete load of shit. The Tyranid codex being a huge let down for two editions running is probably one of the most critical examples. Anyone who collected Tyranids as a main army has pretty well given up hope by now, and they've quit collecting. Other players with armies in similar straits, likely feeling abandoned during 5th edition when GW focused exclusively on Space Marines, have also probably drifted away from the hobby. Of course, there have also been a few people who just quit playing out of disgust because their local meta was a bit too hardcore and there was no way to win games without exploiting the broken, disjointed lack of balance.

Although Games Workshop continued to hike up prices and showed fantastic profits in the short term, these issues probably alienated too many people, and as they roll along with the next edition and new codices, they're probably discovering, with great horror, that there aren't enough players buying into it anymore. Worse, the effect can snowball out of control, and GW will probably lose their market control in one big flash of failure. Almost overnight, it'll suddenly seem that 40k has evaporated.

When there are too few players in the game, it's no longer true that you can go to your FLGS and play with any stranger in the store. There's always that one guy - that rich asshole who owns every army in the book and consequently has some of the most boring, broken, frustrating army lists to play against. But do you really want to play against that guy every single weekend? Eventually, you quit showing up to play 40k as well, and once you're gone, even that dick with all his money has no more reason to play. The final pillar falls, and Games Workshop is no more.

In other words, the player base has always been the most important foundation of the company, and it was always GW's greatest strength. Not the model quality, not the rules, not the setting or any of the IP that they keep suing their fans over. The reason Games Workshop dominated was because everyone played their games. As soon as that's no longer the case, the company can't save itself by releasing new models or updating the rules. Their reign is over. They topple, because the foundations have shrunk.

===GW The Bully===
Games Workshop has long had a history of being one of the most litigious companies in regards to its IP in ''existence''. One needs look no further than our own [[Pauldrons]] article to get an idea of how bad it is, in that it uses its designs to openly fight any company that dares have any remote similarity to its own models in any way, shape, or form. You have any wargame with armored dudes with big pauldrons? Lawsuit. You run a company that makes third-party components for existing models? [[Derp|Lawsuit]]. You make anything remotely resembling any GW IP ever and aren't a massive company that could actually contest the giant copyright stick GW is swinging around and make them look like the idiots they are? [[Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies|LAWSUIT]].

Whilst GW has a lengthy history of overstepping boundaries in its war to enforce its copyright, it only recently decided to go [[Deathstrike Missile Launcher|nuclear]]. [http://boingboing.net/2013/02/06/games-workshop-trademark-bully.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter In 2013, GW launched the claim that it owns the phrase ''Space Marine''], ignoring that sci-fi has used the terminology for the better part of eighty years (and showing their hypocrisy as Games Workshop shamelessly stole the term 'Eldar' from [[Tolkien]]; yes, he invented the word 'Eldar'). The story in question "Spots the Space Marine" is about a middle age housewife, nicknamed Spots, being recalled back to the Marine corp (ie a Real Marine, in space) to fight giant enemy crabs (in space). It had nothing to do with GW's Space Marines or the Warhammer 40K setting.

*The History of the term "Space Marine"; The term 'Space Marine' was made famous by sci-fi author Bob Olsen (real name; Alfred Johannes Olsen, 1884-1956), who may be the true creator of the term. He first used 'Space Marine' in his short story "Captain Brink of the Space Marines" from his "Amazing Stories" series, first published in '''1932'''. Warhammer 40K started as the Second Edition of Rogue Trader and was released in 1993, while [[Rogue Trader]] itself was released in 1987. Games Workshop was founded in 1975; even its oldest founding member (Ian Livingstone) was born in 1949. Therefore the term Space Marine was in use for forty-three years before Games Workshop existed (even James Cameron has more right to trade mark the term than GW, as his 1986 movie 'Aliens' came out one year before Rogue Trader did). <s>Clearly GW needs to sue Bob Olsen</s>. Sarcastic jokes aside, seeing GW fall on their ass for trying to sue Bob Olsen, the rightful owner of the term 'Space Marine' (also remember he '''died''' over fifty years ago), would be hilarious. Even in 2026 (seventy years after Bob Olsen died) when the term Space Marine should become public domain, that doesn't help GW as they can no longer trade mark it then.

This means that what GW tried to do was plagiarism, which is a direct violation of copyright law. Games Workshop's strategy to make "space marine" less generic involved launching high profile, bullying attacks on every professional author or artist who isn't associated with a huge company who uses it, so that there may yet come a day when people hearing the phrase immediately conclude that [[Derp|it ''must'' be related to Games Workshop]], because ''everyone'' knows [[Eldrad|what enormous cocks]] they are whenever anyone else uses the phrase. These attacks were not, again, targeted at any opponent that could credibly fight back; this is because if it actually came to attempts to litigate over the phrase, GW would be laughed out of court. It wasn't not going to stop GW from being cocks, though. In fact, as of 2014, [[Herp|Games Workshop's website still has 'Space Marine' listed as one of their copyrights]]. This copyright backlash made them rename the Imperial Guard "Astra Militarum" (This is not the correct Latin declension for "Star Military." If it was the correct declension, then it would be just as hard to trade mark as "Imperial Guard"), but their hard-on for Space Marines stopped GW from renaming the codex something original, such as "Adeptus Astartes".

After the failure and fiasco of the suit against Spots the Space Marine, GW would post a lengthy and self defeating rant on their own Facebook page, which basically displayed the ignorance of those writing the post. Shortly afterwards, the Facebook page went down after the backlash it caused. Several who queried GW over the pages removal were told that GW wished for the experience with the fanbase to be more personal, thus people should be following their own GW stores.

Their bullying came back to bite them in the ass after a failed attempt at suing third-party manufacturer [[ChapterHouse Studios]]; when they refused to back down from GW's threats to sue them for making unauthorized models (specifically Mycetic Spores, the Doom of Malan'tai, and the Parasite of Mortrex), the lawsuit went to court- which GW [[FAIL|failed]] to argue the majority of alleged copyright breaches. Apparently, just writing up the rules for a model doesn't give you the sole rights to making that model after all. Undaunted, GW did the next best thing-[[Rage|they removed the offending entries from the Tyranid codex]], cutting off its nose to spite its face. Way to put the customer first, GeeDubs.

Now, despite their changes for the better, their hypocrisy has also come back to haunt them, as of August 2017 [https://spikeybits.com/2017/08/games-workshop-is-being-sued-for-62-5m.html Games Workshop is being sued in the US to the tune of 62.5 million for, among other things "...stolen Intellectual property of others to establish it’s Warhammer 40,000 game in the 1980s"] Fans either feel bad, worry about the future of the hobby or cheer that what goes around comes around (the latter since GW sued people for far less; see "Spots the Space Marine" above). However, given that the lawsuit is bizarre, poorly written, has some truly shaky legal understanding (H.R Giger does not own the idea of aliens who use other species for their reproductive cycle), and makes some truly outlandish accusations such as unironically calling a corporation like Games Workshop European Communists in what can only be said to be the most stereotypically Americuntish thing ever put in a lawsuit; Moore's case is almost definitely going to fall apart. And did. Case dismissed as of October 2017.

Of course GW's early copyright mistakes have also bit them in the ass; [[Tony Ackland]] still owns his Daemon designs as discussed above, and [[Kev Adams]] was only ever sculpting generic greenskins which he still owns the molds for. Both lend their talents (and IP work) to the company [[Knightmare Miniatures]], who produce Daemons based on the original [[Realm of Chaos]] art, the scults of Kev's greenskins both new and old, and a number of 40k-related works as well. If you're wondering why GW never went after them, the two are VERY popular among the tabletop gamer community so they could easily raise the funds needed to defend themselves in court (Kev himself has already demonstrated that given the money the community raised to fund surgeries for him after he got stabbed in the fucking eye by a burglar), and since GW themselves ripped off their work the same way most 3rd party companies rip off theirs then there's always a chance they could lose the rights to make Daemonettes/Plaguebearers/Horrors/Bloodletters/Black Orcs/Night Goblins and so on in a countersuit.

===The ₽R¥€£$===
[[Image:1271198871887.jpg|thumb|right|250px|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zSxQnZ3TM8 Games Workshop's typical meeting board]]]
'''In the grim darkness of the near future, there are only price raises.'''

GW is infamous for their steep prices, and they would have been replaced by a more reasonable company for gaming dominance if their popularity wasn't XBOXHUEG compared to their competitors. These price hikes have been around forever, as the rise of video games (people buying fewer models in general over time) and currency inflation have necessitated "adaptation to a more niche market". The infamous price hikes that /tg/ will remember (and be ass-mad about) forever occurred within the decade span from 2005 to 2015. Between these dates, it is safe to say that every model kit raised its price 150%, with some kits doubling in price. Note that /tg/ came into being during the price hikes, and spent most of it's lifetime (and all of it's formative years) suffering under them.

Games Workshop also have a nasty habit of making prices proportional to how good a model/unit is in-game, rather than the actual cost of materials and manufacture.

Of course, if we really want to stop the price hikes, [[/tg/]] should probably start a legitimate campaign to give perspective and shine the spotlight on other wargames like Warmachine, but /tg/ can't get REAL shit done!
==Positives about Games Workshop==
Take this as virtues that outshine the bad, being damned with faint praise or anything in between as you will...

*Their art departments are (usually) top notch, with every race or faction being rich in visual details, and cool minis with great conversion potential.
*GW has legitimately ''good'' customer service. If you order something from them and it gets lost in the mail or it's got a botched cast on the sprue, they will replace it without hesitation, and stick a warp drive on it to make sure you get it as soon as possible.
*They usually have something for anyone when it comes to fantasy or scifi, their armies, while not often the most original, are still fun to collect and paint, and will often have fun lore with lots of characters, itneresting plot twists and a lot of potentiality for YOUR DUDES.
*They have influenced the entire fantasy genre from staples like green orcs and Meso lizardfolk to evolving wargames and creating the modern fantasy miniature market.
*Growth! They have become the entry point for many people into tabletop gaming, which in turn has allowed the tabletop industry to expand.
*Sense of humour, as a company they like to joke about themselves and their settings, while they can often be grimderpy and bland they use their social media to make clear they are aware about their own thematic shortcomings (And now open more Sigmarine Chambers!).

==See Also==
* [https://finance.yahoo.com/quote/GAW.L?p=GAW.L&.tsrc=fin-srch The current Games Workshop stock values, and articles on their financial status.]
* [[Rage]]
* [[Casting]]
* [[Heresy]]
* [[Proxy]]
* [[Counts As]]
* [[C.S. Goto]]
* [[Matthew Ward]]
* [[Black Library]]
* [[Citadel Miniatures]]
* [[Forge World]]
* [[Citadel Combat Cards]]
* [[40K Rules Blooper Reel]], for GW's long history of shoddy editing
* [[Army compatibility between Warhammer settings]]

==External Links==
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zSxQnZ3TM8 This Video]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnPpfs120DA A measured response to changes in the Trade Agreement]

{{Model Manufacturers}}

[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Publishers]][[Category:Games Workshop]][[Category: Model Manufacturers]][[Category:Tabletop Game Paint Manufacturers]]

Eltharion

2020-06-19T03:35:56Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:8DC8:2517:CC8C:DA28: /* On The Tabletop */

[[File:Eltharion the Grim 2.jpg|thumb|400px|High Elf Batman. "WHERE'S GROM?!?"]]
{{topquote|A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.|Francis Bacon}}

{{topquote|In the end, the only good goblins are the ones who never come out of their holes|[[Goblin Slayer]]}}

Eltharion, known either as "the Blind" or "the Grim" depending on if you're going by pre or post retcon fluff, is a named character from the [[Warhammer Fantasy]] universe in the [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|High Elves]] army. He is the Prince (AKA governor) of the kingdom (province) of [[Ulthuan|Yvresse]], which is perhaps the most fucked up and depressing place in the world you can be in charge of short of taking a trip through the Warp to the 41st millennium.

==The Legend==
Eltharion grew up a privileged Prince groomed for his position with ample training at the hands of Sapherian historians and tacticians including Loremaster Belannaer, and schooled in the arts of war expected of a warrior of the High Elves including archery, fencing, and mounted combat. His homeland, one of the less populated kingdoms in the modern age which had nonetheless held onto its heritage as the cultural and commerce center of the eastern lands of the Elves, was continually covered in fog and had a brisk coolness in the air compared to most of the rest of Ulthuan which was in a state of perpetual summer climate. In these conditions Eltharion was toughened, learning about survival and the importance of community in a hostile land.
After becoming a full grown <strike>man</strike> elf, he set about recapturing the lost glory of the Yvressians with a spectacularly arrogant goal; invade [[Naggaroth]]. To everyone's surprise however, he actually had a fucking PLAN to do so other than "Be more fabulous and pray to Asuryan" which had been the keystone of every prior attempt. His strategy was disrupting the messages of the Dark Elves by using his light cavalry and rangers to nail any dispatches for aid that were sent which ensured every attack was against an unsuspecting foe, as well as utilizing infiltration methods to weaken the defenses of the Dark Elves.

He was poisoned in one of his attacks, and while he lay dying he was visited by the spirit of his dead father who told him that a [[WAAAGH]] had done the impossible and landed on the shores of Ulthuan, desecrating [[Waystone|Waystones]] and slaughtering everyone within reach including himself. Tor Yvresse had been completely destroyed and it was time to kick ass and take names. He awoke fully healed from his wounds, and called off the attack to immediately rush home to Ulthuan.
Once there, he gathered as many troops as he could from the rest of Yvresse and marched on the capital. There, he found that the [[Orcs & Goblins|Goblin]] named [[Grom the Paunch|Grom the Paunch of the Misty Mountain]] had sent his shamans into the tallest tower in Tor Yvresse for unknown reasons. Riding his personal Gryphon companion Stormwing and bringing two Mages with him, he entered the tower. The spell that the Shaman was casting backfired, and Eltharion used his adept knowledge of magic to attempt to dispel the misfire effect. He received a vision while doing so, although what it entailed was never revealed by him to anyone. He exited the tower alone and from that point on never smiled, never joked, and was cold and strict while before he had been a class clown (according to Tyrion's sad recollections of their boyhood adventures).
At some point after the battle he captured Grom, tortured him, chopped him into tiny pieces, and fed him into a magical furnace from which the magically regenerative Goblin couldn't recover (this was revealed by author [[Josh Reynolds]], and since there is no official end to Grom this is the closest we get).
Shortly after the battle subsided, the armies of [[Finubar the Seafarer|The Phoenix King]] finally arrived to assist him. He told them to fuck off, swearing that Yvresse would stand by itself from then on as the 'ardiest kingdom. In the days after, Eltharion was elected to lead Yvresse and he immediately set about eradicating the greenskins from his lands to the last, cleansing every valley of every <strike>Orcgina</strike> spore left by the tribes.

The Waystones had been toppled, and would take many years to rebuild. As a result [[Daemon|Daemons]] had begun manifesting out of the raw and stagnant magic around the kingdom, born out of pure Chaos and [[Chaos Undivided|free from the will]] of any of the [[Chaos Gods]]. These horrors, coming in all possible shapes and forms, ambled towards settlements and before long only Tor Yvresse remained as the primary inhabited location in the entire region. What few scattered villages existed soon became more outpost and garrison than farming community, as an attack from horrors almost unimaginable could come at any moment.

===The Blind===
After rushing to aid the Nagarythe in defense against a Dark Elf invasion, [[Malekith]] defeated Eltharion in a fight and took him alive as the Dark Elves won the battle (no word on what happened to Eltharion's griffon Stormwing). First, Malekith had all of Eltharion's surviving soldiers lined up, with a Har Ganeth executioner standing over each one, and made an offer. Eltharion could swear allegiance to Malekith, or Malekith would have Eltharion's soldiers killed. Eltharion refused, and Malekith made good on his threat but he didn't stop there. Malekith had Eltharion taken back to Naggaroth and tortured in the most mind-breaking ways possible, although Eltharion held onto his sanity in the most stoic badass way imaginable.

Malekith, frustrated, had his eyes removed then sent what remained of Eltharion back to Ulthuan to strike fear into the hearts of the High Elves. He made a full recovery however (as this was the older lore where the Dark Elves didn't do REALLY cruel shit like make flags out of the skin of one of their own, tied to the flagstaff itself to scream in harmony with their cavalry bugles), perhaps aided by healing magic, and became a badass swordsman. He trained with the Swordmasters of Hoeth and applied the heightened hearing/smelling/tactile senses to it. While back in the early editions High Elves looked down on Dark Elves as brutish and vile cousins, Eltharion was one of the few to actually HATE them and dream of genocide against their race. He encountered Malekith in another battle and managed to wound him, the first person to do so without a magic weapon when Malekith had the Armor of Midnight. Since then Eltharion made it his life's goal to destroy Malekith.

===The Grim===
In later editions, the Blind story was retconned. Eltharion's plot dropped the Dark Elf hate and reserved that for [[Alith Anar]], instead using him as the High Elves anti-greenskin character.

After Grom was defeated and Yvresse cleansed of his race, Eltharion became reclusive. Every visitor to Tor Yvresse was viewed with suspicion regardless of why they had come. The bulk of the city was abandoned, being reclaimed by nature while only the defensible locations underwent regular upkeep. Tor Yvresse became nothing short of a [[Kobold]] Den, full of traps and ambush points which were regularly patrolled by paranoid and hateful elves that had survived the attack.
Daemons constantly invaded from every direction, appearing in the oceans and swimming to the coastal city or even within its walls.
Loremaster Belannaer and his Mages attempted to restore the Waystones of Yvresse, but the process was slow and many were forever damaged. As an alternative, the Mages set up magical defenses comparable to those of Saphery; ones that lead you in circles forever if you approached with ill intent, ones that fractured the mind of those who went off-trail, and so forth.

Even during the darkest hour of the High Elves, when [[Defenders of Ulthuan/Sons of Ellyrion|a fuckhuge force lead by Malekith, Morathi, and Slaaneshi Warrior invaded Ulthuan]] he refused to aid another kingdom, answering a personal call from Finubar to save Lothern entirely by himself riding Stormwing (where he fended off Malekith and gave the dragon and rider a fair number of wounds before exiting the fight to let [[Imrik]] take over). He left unceremoniously after the battle was over without a word to anyone, to the disappointment of his boyhood friends who were also at the battle and hadn't seen him since before his invasion of the Dark Elves.

After eventually feeling that Tor Yvresse was secure enough for him to leave his city, he lead an army of his most disciplined and trusted Yvressians to Cothique to catch a ride to the [[Old World]]. Here he set about attempting to wipe out all Orcs and Goblins or to cause them to fear his race and never bother Ulthuan again, using fire magic to incinerate the earth after each battle to prevent another group from rising again. He destroyed WAAAGHs that began thousands of years ago and had battered at the doors of [[Dwarfs (Warhammer Fantasy)|Dwarfen]] Holds in all that time, allowing the Dwarfs of many locations to regain their strength and lend it to [[Thorgrim Grudgebearer]] as well as causing their race to gain a (slightly) higher opinion of the <strike>dandelion eaters</strike> Elves. WAAAGHs that had begun forming to wipe out humanity were assaulted and annihilated to the last. Everywhere the army of Eltharion marched, peace came to the land. But no matter how many he killed every day a new force of greenskins would appear on the horizon, marching into certain death.
After putting a larger dent in the greenskin population than any army or even single being had ever accomplished, Eltharion discovered that the reason the greenskin hordes had seemed endless was purely because THEY were now coming to HIM. WAAAGH after WAAAGH had pounded against his forces, and he had beaten them all. Knowledge of this had somehow spread throughout their race, and according to a Warboss he had captured almost every greenskin in the world now believed "Pointy-'eads give a proper fight." and had put fighting High Elves high on their To Do list.

Eltharion returned home, content that the bulk of the greenskin race would be lost at sea as Ulthuan is protected both by magic (intentional spells, and the raw energy surrounding it) as well as natural hazards (sea monsters even demigods can't kill, sentient islands that move to cause shipwrecks, and chaotic storms) that only (lucky) Elven navigators utilizing magic can navigate with assured success. Beyond that, the greenskins would have to fight unending Daemons to reach the shore. Then penetrate the defenses of Tor Yvresse.
There at home in his beloved city, Eltharion the Grim waited in the tallest tower of the only large settlement in his cursed region waiting for one final WAAAGH to break itself upon his knee.

===[[End Times]]===
In the End Times event, Eltharion was a major character, when he was chosen to lead the forces of Ulthuan against [[Nagash]]'s forces in an attempt to save [[Everqueen|Aliathra]] since Tyrion was needed to defend Ulthuan from surprise Slaanesh buttsex. Despite being grim and suspicious as ever, he tried to be considerate to his non-elven allies at Eldyra's and Belannar's request. In the battle he proved he was more skilled at leading an army and nearly as skilled in combat as Tyrion, kicking Mannfred's ass being his most notable accomplishment (and that's without the help of his griffon, Stormfang, who was killed by Mannfred when the filthy vampire tried to cheat and use magic). He broke through the magical barrier around [[Arkhan the Black|Arkhan's]] Nagash-summoning ritual with his Fangsword, destroying the sword in the process.

Even without it, he was still a powerful elven warrior with a gem that made him a level 2 wizard. But Arkhan was a level 4.5 wizard, so Eltharion grabbed Arkhan and slammed him against the cauldron's edge to try and break his neck. Badass as it is, taking on a lich with only one's bare hands is not the wisest idea. Arkhan grabbed Eltharion's wrist and used his Curse of Years spell to make Eltharion age until he turned to dust, Thanos-style.

Fuck.

Since Arkhan and Nagash either couldn't or wouldn't claim Eltharion's soul, his ghost was able to give his niece and nephew his necklace and (fully restored) sword some years after the bone daddy's resurrection. This would be a good "Take up my sword" scene, but both of them <strike>worfed</strike> were unceremoniously murdered by [[Malekith]] and his right-hand minion Kouran during the Elven civil war only two books later because both of them disliked the idea of a Druchii being Phoenix King.

Many old-time High Elf players were offended and horrified at the completely shitty end to one of the original Warhammer Fantasy major characters. Most of them didn't blame Eltharion's killer Arkhan (who's another original Warhammer Fantasy character despite being added to the setting one year after Eltharion), but the writers.

===[[Age of Sigmar]]===

In Age of Sigmar [[Tyrion]], [[Teclis]], and Malerion ([[Malekith]] now a dragonman, because changing his name was easier and more likely to succeed than suing Marvel comics) attained godhood and managed to capture Slaanesh who at the time had eaten so many Elf souls from End Times that he was hiding out in a cave, too bloated to move, digesting them. These three chained up Slaanesh in the space between the realms of Light and Shadow and then disemboweled her/him/it in order to release all the delicious elf souls.
This, essentially, is why all the major elves from the world-that-was, including the 'T' twins, Caligula-dragon, [[Morathi]], and [[Alarielle]], have their own elf factions, albeit repackaged as "aelves".

Teclis tried to recreate the High Elves a few times, [[Idoneth Deepkin|with varying degrees of success]], but eventually managed to hit the mark with the [[Lumineth Realm Lords]]. With this success, Teclis then decided (for some reason) to NOT shove Eltharion into a new body, but instead into [[Rubric Marine|an animated suit of armor that will never feel anything]]. As it stands, Eltharion's spirit is considered the paragon of balance between the two castes of Lumineth (named "inventively" as Tyrionic and Teclian) , being a mage as well as a warrior. He's also now gifted with two swords, representative to the two gods of Hysh.

Also Stormwing apparently remains dead, and Teclis decided not to give him a replacement despite the fact that griffons still exist in AoS. Since Eltharion's killer, Arkhan, made it to AoS as well, one wonders if they will remember each other. Given the deja vu Mannfred and Balthasar/Balthas felt, it's possible. One can hope he slays a few writers instead.

==On The Tabletop==
Over the years, Eltharion has remained a questionable option to put on the tabletop. His Blind stats were much more impressive, as he was designed as a character who could fit into a unit of Swordmasters similar to the current Loremaster of Hoeth with his low level magic and high offensive stats.
Eltharion the Grim by contrast is overpriced, only ever really useful on Stormwing but thanks to cannonfire being a liability. His magic items make him durable enough to take some damage and dish it back out, although not as well as a proper generic Prince kitted out could do. In addition, his weak spellcasting does not make up for lacking a Mage or Archmage and you run into the problem of the fact you're paying for a combination melee/magic Lord while you want that split between two characters for safety and prioritization reasons.
As a result, Eltharion has spent many years mostly as a proxy model for a generic counterpart simply called "Eltharion" for narrative reasons.

The army of Tor Yvresse is similarly defeatist and confusing. His kingdom lacks any kind of unique signature unit or combination, instead relying on models from other kingdoms which is ironic given his attitude to asking favors (or answering them). His Blind version simply blended Nagarythe tactics with Saphery ones, relying on Shadow Warriors and Swordmasters with high magic and the typical Elf core to deal megafuck damage fast. The Grim seems to rely heavily on magic as well, although even in the Yvresse entry of the 8th edition High Elf Heraldry book only Spearmen, Archers, Silver Helms, Princes/Nobles, and Archmages/Mages are described as Yvressian troops. Whether this means an Yvresse list (supposedly small forces of depleted and shellshocked troops) are almost entirely Core and characters is the intention of Games Workshop or not is unknown. A list like that may explain why Eltharion was killed so quickly in End Times however...

As of Age of Sigmar, whilst the Lumineth Battletome release was delayed due to Papa Nurgle’s shenanigans, his rules have been previewed by Warhammer Community and he is a ''monster'' in combat, with 2+ to hit and 3+ to wound on both weapons (!), 6 Attacks overall, and -3 to saving rolls with one of them. Not only that, he ignores ALL modifiers when making saving rolls, and halves ALL damage.

==[[Total War: WARHAMMER]] II==

His rivalry with Grom ain't over yet, as he and the thicc green lad will be coming to Total War Warhammer 2 in The Warden and The Paunch, where he shall lead Yvresse against Grom's second invasion. Not only does he bring new units to the High Elves but he also comes with a prison mechanic for enemy Lords and Heroes, an ability to spread the Mists of Yvresse and the ability to rebuild Tor Yvresse and Athel Tamarha and make them so impenetrable it would make [[Rogal Dorn]] envious. He also looks like Henry Cavil for some reason. He also looks like Karl Franz, making people believe Eltharion is just Karl Franz and Deathclaw doing their cosplay part-time job as an Elf.

Eltharion starts all the way over in the fucking Badlands meaning that as soon as you start the Campaign it's a clusterfuck and your forces are split up. Although his early campaign can be a bit hard it is important to note that the Miststalker units he gets are fucking OP and can change the tide of most Battles.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Eltharion and Belannaer.jpg|Artwork for Eltharion the Blind, sparring with Belannaer.
Image:Eltharion the Blind Model.jpg|Eltharion the Blind's model.
Image:Eltharion VS Shadowblade.jpg|Eltharion the Blind fighting motherfucking Shadowblade himself.
Image:Eltharion Fan Art.jpg|Fan art depicting Eltharion the Blind.
Image:Eltharion the Grim TCG.jpg|Eltharion and Stormwing art from the Warhammer Trading Card Game.
Image:Eltharion Fabulous.jpg|80's style Army Book art depicting Eltharion.
Image:Eltharion and Stormwing.jpg|Eltharion's current model, riding Stormwing.
Image:Eltharion vs Magic Barrier.jpg|(spoiler alert)... Eltharion's final moments.
File:Eltharion AOS.jpg|His new Age of Sigmar model
File:Eltharion's_essence.jpg|Eltharion after a very effective weight-loss plan.
File:Stupid Sexy Eltharion.PNG|As he appears in Total War Warhammer 2, sporting Karl Franz's face and not giving Grom as well as other Elven Princess their consent.
</gallery>

{{Template:High Elves}}

Eltharion

2020-06-19T03:33:51Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:8DC8:2517:CC8C:DA28: /* Age of Sigmar */

[[File:Eltharion the Grim 2.jpg|thumb|400px|High Elf Batman. "WHERE'S GROM?!?"]]
{{topquote|A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.|Francis Bacon}}

{{topquote|In the end, the only good goblins are the ones who never come out of their holes|[[Goblin Slayer]]}}

Eltharion, known either as "the Blind" or "the Grim" depending on if you're going by pre or post retcon fluff, is a named character from the [[Warhammer Fantasy]] universe in the [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|High Elves]] army. He is the Prince (AKA governor) of the kingdom (province) of [[Ulthuan|Yvresse]], which is perhaps the most fucked up and depressing place in the world you can be in charge of short of taking a trip through the Warp to the 41st millennium.

==The Legend==
Eltharion grew up a privileged Prince groomed for his position with ample training at the hands of Sapherian historians and tacticians including Loremaster Belannaer, and schooled in the arts of war expected of a warrior of the High Elves including archery, fencing, and mounted combat. His homeland, one of the less populated kingdoms in the modern age which had nonetheless held onto its heritage as the cultural and commerce center of the eastern lands of the Elves, was continually covered in fog and had a brisk coolness in the air compared to most of the rest of Ulthuan which was in a state of perpetual summer climate. In these conditions Eltharion was toughened, learning about survival and the importance of community in a hostile land.
After becoming a full grown <strike>man</strike> elf, he set about recapturing the lost glory of the Yvressians with a spectacularly arrogant goal; invade [[Naggaroth]]. To everyone's surprise however, he actually had a fucking PLAN to do so other than "Be more fabulous and pray to Asuryan" which had been the keystone of every prior attempt. His strategy was disrupting the messages of the Dark Elves by using his light cavalry and rangers to nail any dispatches for aid that were sent which ensured every attack was against an unsuspecting foe, as well as utilizing infiltration methods to weaken the defenses of the Dark Elves.

He was poisoned in one of his attacks, and while he lay dying he was visited by the spirit of his dead father who told him that a [[WAAAGH]] had done the impossible and landed on the shores of Ulthuan, desecrating [[Waystone|Waystones]] and slaughtering everyone within reach including himself. Tor Yvresse had been completely destroyed and it was time to kick ass and take names. He awoke fully healed from his wounds, and called off the attack to immediately rush home to Ulthuan.
Once there, he gathered as many troops as he could from the rest of Yvresse and marched on the capital. There, he found that the [[Orcs & Goblins|Goblin]] named [[Grom the Paunch|Grom the Paunch of the Misty Mountain]] had sent his shamans into the tallest tower in Tor Yvresse for unknown reasons. Riding his personal Gryphon companion Stormwing and bringing two Mages with him, he entered the tower. The spell that the Shaman was casting backfired, and Eltharion used his adept knowledge of magic to attempt to dispel the misfire effect. He received a vision while doing so, although what it entailed was never revealed by him to anyone. He exited the tower alone and from that point on never smiled, never joked, and was cold and strict while before he had been a class clown (according to Tyrion's sad recollections of their boyhood adventures).
At some point after the battle he captured Grom, tortured him, chopped him into tiny pieces, and fed him into a magical furnace from which the magically regenerative Goblin couldn't recover (this was revealed by author [[Josh Reynolds]], and since there is no official end to Grom this is the closest we get).
Shortly after the battle subsided, the armies of [[Finubar the Seafarer|The Phoenix King]] finally arrived to assist him. He told them to fuck off, swearing that Yvresse would stand by itself from then on as the 'ardiest kingdom. In the days after, Eltharion was elected to lead Yvresse and he immediately set about eradicating the greenskins from his lands to the last, cleansing every valley of every <strike>Orcgina</strike> spore left by the tribes.

The Waystones had been toppled, and would take many years to rebuild. As a result [[Daemon|Daemons]] had begun manifesting out of the raw and stagnant magic around the kingdom, born out of pure Chaos and [[Chaos Undivided|free from the will]] of any of the [[Chaos Gods]]. These horrors, coming in all possible shapes and forms, ambled towards settlements and before long only Tor Yvresse remained as the primary inhabited location in the entire region. What few scattered villages existed soon became more outpost and garrison than farming community, as an attack from horrors almost unimaginable could come at any moment.

===The Blind===
After rushing to aid the Nagarythe in defense against a Dark Elf invasion, [[Malekith]] defeated Eltharion in a fight and took him alive as the Dark Elves won the battle (no word on what happened to Eltharion's griffon Stormwing). First, Malekith had all of Eltharion's surviving soldiers lined up, with a Har Ganeth executioner standing over each one, and made an offer. Eltharion could swear allegiance to Malekith, or Malekith would have Eltharion's soldiers killed. Eltharion refused, and Malekith made good on his threat but he didn't stop there. Malekith had Eltharion taken back to Naggaroth and tortured in the most mind-breaking ways possible, although Eltharion held onto his sanity in the most stoic badass way imaginable.

Malekith, frustrated, had his eyes removed then sent what remained of Eltharion back to Ulthuan to strike fear into the hearts of the High Elves. He made a full recovery however (as this was the older lore where the Dark Elves didn't do REALLY cruel shit like make flags out of the skin of one of their own, tied to the flagstaff itself to scream in harmony with their cavalry bugles), perhaps aided by healing magic, and became a badass swordsman. He trained with the Swordmasters of Hoeth and applied the heightened hearing/smelling/tactile senses to it. While back in the early editions High Elves looked down on Dark Elves as brutish and vile cousins, Eltharion was one of the few to actually HATE them and dream of genocide against their race. He encountered Malekith in another battle and managed to wound him, the first person to do so without a magic weapon when Malekith had the Armor of Midnight. Since then Eltharion made it his life's goal to destroy Malekith.

===The Grim===
In later editions, the Blind story was retconned. Eltharion's plot dropped the Dark Elf hate and reserved that for [[Alith Anar]], instead using him as the High Elves anti-greenskin character.

After Grom was defeated and Yvresse cleansed of his race, Eltharion became reclusive. Every visitor to Tor Yvresse was viewed with suspicion regardless of why they had come. The bulk of the city was abandoned, being reclaimed by nature while only the defensible locations underwent regular upkeep. Tor Yvresse became nothing short of a [[Kobold]] Den, full of traps and ambush points which were regularly patrolled by paranoid and hateful elves that had survived the attack.
Daemons constantly invaded from every direction, appearing in the oceans and swimming to the coastal city or even within its walls.
Loremaster Belannaer and his Mages attempted to restore the Waystones of Yvresse, but the process was slow and many were forever damaged. As an alternative, the Mages set up magical defenses comparable to those of Saphery; ones that lead you in circles forever if you approached with ill intent, ones that fractured the mind of those who went off-trail, and so forth.

Even during the darkest hour of the High Elves, when [[Defenders of Ulthuan/Sons of Ellyrion|a fuckhuge force lead by Malekith, Morathi, and Slaaneshi Warrior invaded Ulthuan]] he refused to aid another kingdom, answering a personal call from Finubar to save Lothern entirely by himself riding Stormwing (where he fended off Malekith and gave the dragon and rider a fair number of wounds before exiting the fight to let [[Imrik]] take over). He left unceremoniously after the battle was over without a word to anyone, to the disappointment of his boyhood friends who were also at the battle and hadn't seen him since before his invasion of the Dark Elves.

After eventually feeling that Tor Yvresse was secure enough for him to leave his city, he lead an army of his most disciplined and trusted Yvressians to Cothique to catch a ride to the [[Old World]]. Here he set about attempting to wipe out all Orcs and Goblins or to cause them to fear his race and never bother Ulthuan again, using fire magic to incinerate the earth after each battle to prevent another group from rising again. He destroyed WAAAGHs that began thousands of years ago and had battered at the doors of [[Dwarfs (Warhammer Fantasy)|Dwarfen]] Holds in all that time, allowing the Dwarfs of many locations to regain their strength and lend it to [[Thorgrim Grudgebearer]] as well as causing their race to gain a (slightly) higher opinion of the <strike>dandelion eaters</strike> Elves. WAAAGHs that had begun forming to wipe out humanity were assaulted and annihilated to the last. Everywhere the army of Eltharion marched, peace came to the land. But no matter how many he killed every day a new force of greenskins would appear on the horizon, marching into certain death.
After putting a larger dent in the greenskin population than any army or even single being had ever accomplished, Eltharion discovered that the reason the greenskin hordes had seemed endless was purely because THEY were now coming to HIM. WAAAGH after WAAAGH had pounded against his forces, and he had beaten them all. Knowledge of this had somehow spread throughout their race, and according to a Warboss he had captured almost every greenskin in the world now believed "Pointy-'eads give a proper fight." and had put fighting High Elves high on their To Do list.

Eltharion returned home, content that the bulk of the greenskin race would be lost at sea as Ulthuan is protected both by magic (intentional spells, and the raw energy surrounding it) as well as natural hazards (sea monsters even demigods can't kill, sentient islands that move to cause shipwrecks, and chaotic storms) that only (lucky) Elven navigators utilizing magic can navigate with assured success. Beyond that, the greenskins would have to fight unending Daemons to reach the shore. Then penetrate the defenses of Tor Yvresse.
There at home in his beloved city, Eltharion the Grim waited in the tallest tower of the only large settlement in his cursed region waiting for one final WAAAGH to break itself upon his knee.

===[[End Times]]===
In the End Times event, Eltharion was a major character, when he was chosen to lead the forces of Ulthuan against [[Nagash]]'s forces in an attempt to save [[Everqueen|Aliathra]] since Tyrion was needed to defend Ulthuan from surprise Slaanesh buttsex. Despite being grim and suspicious as ever, he tried to be considerate to his non-elven allies at Eldyra's and Belannar's request. In the battle he proved he was more skilled at leading an army and nearly as skilled in combat as Tyrion, kicking Mannfred's ass being his most notable accomplishment (and that's without the help of his griffon, Stormfang, who was killed by Mannfred when the filthy vampire tried to cheat and use magic). He broke through the magical barrier around [[Arkhan the Black|Arkhan's]] Nagash-summoning ritual with his Fangsword, destroying the sword in the process.

Even without it, he was still a powerful elven warrior with a gem that made him a level 2 wizard. But Arkhan was a level 4.5 wizard, so Eltharion grabbed Arkhan and slammed him against the cauldron's edge to try and break his neck. Badass as it is, taking on a lich with only one's bare hands is not the wisest idea. Arkhan grabbed Eltharion's wrist and used his Curse of Years spell to make Eltharion age until he turned to dust, Thanos-style.

Fuck.

Since Arkhan and Nagash either couldn't or wouldn't claim Eltharion's soul, his ghost was able to give his niece and nephew his necklace and (fully restored) sword some years after the bone daddy's resurrection. This would be a good "Take up my sword" scene, but both of them <strike>worfed</strike> were unceremoniously murdered by [[Malekith]] and his right-hand minion Kouran during the Elven civil war only two books later because both of them disliked the idea of a Druchii being Phoenix King.

Many old-time High Elf players were offended and horrified at the completely shitty end to one of the original Warhammer Fantasy major characters. Most of them didn't blame Eltharion's killer Arkhan (who's another original Warhammer Fantasy character despite being added to the setting one year after Eltharion), but the writers.

===[[Age of Sigmar]]===

In Age of Sigmar [[Tyrion]], [[Teclis]], and Malerion ([[Malekith]] now a dragonman, because changing his name was easier and more likely to succeed than suing Marvel comics) attained godhood and managed to capture Slaanesh who at the time had eaten so many Elf souls from End Times that he was hiding out in a cave, too bloated to move, digesting them. These three chained up Slaanesh in the space between the realms of Light and Shadow and then disemboweled her/him/it in order to release all the delicious elf souls.
This, essentially, is why all the major elves from the world-that-was, including the 'T' twins, Caligula-dragon, [[Morathi]], and [[Alarielle]], have their own elf factions, albeit repackaged as "aelves".

Teclis tried to recreate the High Elves a few times, [[Idoneth Deepkin|with varying degrees of success]], but eventually managed to hit the mark with the [[Lumineth Realm Lords]]. With this success, Teclis then decided (for some reason) to NOT shove Eltharion into a new body, but instead into [[Rubric Marine|an animated suit of armor that will never feel anything]]. As it stands, Eltharion's spirit is considered the paragon of balance between the two castes of Lumineth (named "inventively" as Tyrionic and Teclian) , being a mage as well as a warrior. He's also now gifted with two swords, representative to the two gods of Hysh.

Also Stormwing apparently remains dead, and Teclis decided not to give him a replacement despite the fact that griffons still exist in AoS. Since Eltharion's killer, Arkhan, made it to AoS as well, one wonders if they will remember each other. Given the deja vu Mannfred and Balthasar/Balthas felt, it's possible. One can hope he slays a few writers instead.

==On The Tabletop==
Over the years, Eltharion has remained a questionable option to put on the tabletop. His Blind stats were much more impressive, as he was designed as a character who could fit into a unit of Swordmasters similar to the current Loremaster of Hoeth with his low level magic and high offensive stats.
Eltharion the Grim by contrast is overpriced, only ever really useful on Stormwing but thanks to cannonfire being a liability. His magic items make him durable enough to take some damage and dish it back out, although not as well as a proper generic Prince kitted out could do. In addition, his weak spellcasting does not make up for lacking a Mage or Archmage and you run into the problem of the fact you're paying for a combination melee/magic Lord while you want that split between two characters for safety and prioritization reasons.
As a result, Eltharion has spent many years mostly as a proxy model for a generic counterpart simply called "Eltharion" for narrative reasons.

The army of Tor Yvresse is similarly defeatist and confusing. His kingdom lacks any kind of unique signature unit or combination, instead relying on models from other kingdoms which is ironic given his attitude to asking favors (or answering them). His Blind version simply blended Nagarythe tactics with Saphery ones, relying on Shadow Warriors and Swordmasters with high magic and the typical Elf core to deal megafuck damage fast. The Grim seems to rely heavily on magic as well, although even in the Yvresse entry of the 8th edition High Elf Heraldry book only Spearmen, Archers, Silver Helms, Princes/Nobles, and Archmages/Mages are described as Yvressian troops. Whether this means an Yvresse list (supposedly small forces of depleted and shellshocked troops) are almost entirely Core and characters is the intention of Games Workshop or not is unknown. A list like that may explain why Eltharion was killed so quickly in End Times however...

As of Age of Sigmar, whilst the Lumineth Battletome has yet to be released due to Papa Nurgle’s shenanigans, his rules have been previewed by Warhammer Community and he is a ''monster'' in combat, with 2+ to hit and 3+ to wound on both weapons (!), 6 Attacks overall, and -3 to saving rolls with one of them. Not only that, he ignores ALL modifiers when making saving rolls, and halves ALL damage.

==[[Total War: WARHAMMER]] II==

His rivalry with Grom ain't over yet, as he and the thicc green lad will be coming to Total War Warhammer 2 in The Warden and The Paunch, where he shall lead Yvresse against Grom's second invasion. Not only does he bring new units to the High Elves but he also comes with a prison mechanic for enemy Lords and Heroes, an ability to spread the Mists of Yvresse and the ability to rebuild Tor Yvresse and Athel Tamarha and make them so impenetrable it would make [[Rogal Dorn]] envious. He also looks like Henry Cavil for some reason. He also looks like Karl Franz, making people believe Eltharion is just Karl Franz and Deathclaw doing their cosplay part-time job as an Elf.

Eltharion starts all the way over in the fucking Badlands meaning that as soon as you start the Campaign it's a clusterfuck and your forces are split up. Although his early campaign can be a bit hard it is important to note that the Miststalker units he gets are fucking OP and can change the tide of most Battles.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Eltharion and Belannaer.jpg|Artwork for Eltharion the Blind, sparring with Belannaer.
Image:Eltharion the Blind Model.jpg|Eltharion the Blind's model.
Image:Eltharion VS Shadowblade.jpg|Eltharion the Blind fighting motherfucking Shadowblade himself.
Image:Eltharion Fan Art.jpg|Fan art depicting Eltharion the Blind.
Image:Eltharion the Grim TCG.jpg|Eltharion and Stormwing art from the Warhammer Trading Card Game.
Image:Eltharion Fabulous.jpg|80's style Army Book art depicting Eltharion.
Image:Eltharion and Stormwing.jpg|Eltharion's current model, riding Stormwing.
Image:Eltharion vs Magic Barrier.jpg|(spoiler alert)... Eltharion's final moments.
File:Eltharion AOS.jpg|His new Age of Sigmar model
File:Eltharion's_essence.jpg|Eltharion after a very effective weight-loss plan.
File:Stupid Sexy Eltharion.PNG|As he appears in Total War Warhammer 2, sporting Karl Franz's face and not giving Grom as well as other Elven Princess their consent.
</gallery>

{{Template:High Elves}}

Eltharion

2020-06-19T03:33:31Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:8DC8:2517:CC8C:DA28: /* Age of Sigmar */ Teclis' sphinx mount is a unique spirit being.

[[File:Eltharion the Grim 2.jpg|thumb|400px|High Elf Batman. "WHERE'S GROM?!?"]]
{{topquote|A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.|Francis Bacon}}

{{topquote|In the end, the only good goblins are the ones who never come out of their holes|[[Goblin Slayer]]}}

Eltharion, known either as "the Blind" or "the Grim" depending on if you're going by pre or post retcon fluff, is a named character from the [[Warhammer Fantasy]] universe in the [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|High Elves]] army. He is the Prince (AKA governor) of the kingdom (province) of [[Ulthuan|Yvresse]], which is perhaps the most fucked up and depressing place in the world you can be in charge of short of taking a trip through the Warp to the 41st millennium.

==The Legend==
Eltharion grew up a privileged Prince groomed for his position with ample training at the hands of Sapherian historians and tacticians including Loremaster Belannaer, and schooled in the arts of war expected of a warrior of the High Elves including archery, fencing, and mounted combat. His homeland, one of the less populated kingdoms in the modern age which had nonetheless held onto its heritage as the cultural and commerce center of the eastern lands of the Elves, was continually covered in fog and had a brisk coolness in the air compared to most of the rest of Ulthuan which was in a state of perpetual summer climate. In these conditions Eltharion was toughened, learning about survival and the importance of community in a hostile land.
After becoming a full grown <strike>man</strike> elf, he set about recapturing the lost glory of the Yvressians with a spectacularly arrogant goal; invade [[Naggaroth]]. To everyone's surprise however, he actually had a fucking PLAN to do so other than "Be more fabulous and pray to Asuryan" which had been the keystone of every prior attempt. His strategy was disrupting the messages of the Dark Elves by using his light cavalry and rangers to nail any dispatches for aid that were sent which ensured every attack was against an unsuspecting foe, as well as utilizing infiltration methods to weaken the defenses of the Dark Elves.

He was poisoned in one of his attacks, and while he lay dying he was visited by the spirit of his dead father who told him that a [[WAAAGH]] had done the impossible and landed on the shores of Ulthuan, desecrating [[Waystone|Waystones]] and slaughtering everyone within reach including himself. Tor Yvresse had been completely destroyed and it was time to kick ass and take names. He awoke fully healed from his wounds, and called off the attack to immediately rush home to Ulthuan.
Once there, he gathered as many troops as he could from the rest of Yvresse and marched on the capital. There, he found that the [[Orcs & Goblins|Goblin]] named [[Grom the Paunch|Grom the Paunch of the Misty Mountain]] had sent his shamans into the tallest tower in Tor Yvresse for unknown reasons. Riding his personal Gryphon companion Stormwing and bringing two Mages with him, he entered the tower. The spell that the Shaman was casting backfired, and Eltharion used his adept knowledge of magic to attempt to dispel the misfire effect. He received a vision while doing so, although what it entailed was never revealed by him to anyone. He exited the tower alone and from that point on never smiled, never joked, and was cold and strict while before he had been a class clown (according to Tyrion's sad recollections of their boyhood adventures).
At some point after the battle he captured Grom, tortured him, chopped him into tiny pieces, and fed him into a magical furnace from which the magically regenerative Goblin couldn't recover (this was revealed by author [[Josh Reynolds]], and since there is no official end to Grom this is the closest we get).
Shortly after the battle subsided, the armies of [[Finubar the Seafarer|The Phoenix King]] finally arrived to assist him. He told them to fuck off, swearing that Yvresse would stand by itself from then on as the 'ardiest kingdom. In the days after, Eltharion was elected to lead Yvresse and he immediately set about eradicating the greenskins from his lands to the last, cleansing every valley of every <strike>Orcgina</strike> spore left by the tribes.

The Waystones had been toppled, and would take many years to rebuild. As a result [[Daemon|Daemons]] had begun manifesting out of the raw and stagnant magic around the kingdom, born out of pure Chaos and [[Chaos Undivided|free from the will]] of any of the [[Chaos Gods]]. These horrors, coming in all possible shapes and forms, ambled towards settlements and before long only Tor Yvresse remained as the primary inhabited location in the entire region. What few scattered villages existed soon became more outpost and garrison than farming community, as an attack from horrors almost unimaginable could come at any moment.

===The Blind===
After rushing to aid the Nagarythe in defense against a Dark Elf invasion, [[Malekith]] defeated Eltharion in a fight and took him alive as the Dark Elves won the battle (no word on what happened to Eltharion's griffon Stormwing). First, Malekith had all of Eltharion's surviving soldiers lined up, with a Har Ganeth executioner standing over each one, and made an offer. Eltharion could swear allegiance to Malekith, or Malekith would have Eltharion's soldiers killed. Eltharion refused, and Malekith made good on his threat but he didn't stop there. Malekith had Eltharion taken back to Naggaroth and tortured in the most mind-breaking ways possible, although Eltharion held onto his sanity in the most stoic badass way imaginable.

Malekith, frustrated, had his eyes removed then sent what remained of Eltharion back to Ulthuan to strike fear into the hearts of the High Elves. He made a full recovery however (as this was the older lore where the Dark Elves didn't do REALLY cruel shit like make flags out of the skin of one of their own, tied to the flagstaff itself to scream in harmony with their cavalry bugles), perhaps aided by healing magic, and became a badass swordsman. He trained with the Swordmasters of Hoeth and applied the heightened hearing/smelling/tactile senses to it. While back in the early editions High Elves looked down on Dark Elves as brutish and vile cousins, Eltharion was one of the few to actually HATE them and dream of genocide against their race. He encountered Malekith in another battle and managed to wound him, the first person to do so without a magic weapon when Malekith had the Armor of Midnight. Since then Eltharion made it his life's goal to destroy Malekith.

===The Grim===
In later editions, the Blind story was retconned. Eltharion's plot dropped the Dark Elf hate and reserved that for [[Alith Anar]], instead using him as the High Elves anti-greenskin character.

After Grom was defeated and Yvresse cleansed of his race, Eltharion became reclusive. Every visitor to Tor Yvresse was viewed with suspicion regardless of why they had come. The bulk of the city was abandoned, being reclaimed by nature while only the defensible locations underwent regular upkeep. Tor Yvresse became nothing short of a [[Kobold]] Den, full of traps and ambush points which were regularly patrolled by paranoid and hateful elves that had survived the attack.
Daemons constantly invaded from every direction, appearing in the oceans and swimming to the coastal city or even within its walls.
Loremaster Belannaer and his Mages attempted to restore the Waystones of Yvresse, but the process was slow and many were forever damaged. As an alternative, the Mages set up magical defenses comparable to those of Saphery; ones that lead you in circles forever if you approached with ill intent, ones that fractured the mind of those who went off-trail, and so forth.

Even during the darkest hour of the High Elves, when [[Defenders of Ulthuan/Sons of Ellyrion|a fuckhuge force lead by Malekith, Morathi, and Slaaneshi Warrior invaded Ulthuan]] he refused to aid another kingdom, answering a personal call from Finubar to save Lothern entirely by himself riding Stormwing (where he fended off Malekith and gave the dragon and rider a fair number of wounds before exiting the fight to let [[Imrik]] take over). He left unceremoniously after the battle was over without a word to anyone, to the disappointment of his boyhood friends who were also at the battle and hadn't seen him since before his invasion of the Dark Elves.

After eventually feeling that Tor Yvresse was secure enough for him to leave his city, he lead an army of his most disciplined and trusted Yvressians to Cothique to catch a ride to the [[Old World]]. Here he set about attempting to wipe out all Orcs and Goblins or to cause them to fear his race and never bother Ulthuan again, using fire magic to incinerate the earth after each battle to prevent another group from rising again. He destroyed WAAAGHs that began thousands of years ago and had battered at the doors of [[Dwarfs (Warhammer Fantasy)|Dwarfen]] Holds in all that time, allowing the Dwarfs of many locations to regain their strength and lend it to [[Thorgrim Grudgebearer]] as well as causing their race to gain a (slightly) higher opinion of the <strike>dandelion eaters</strike> Elves. WAAAGHs that had begun forming to wipe out humanity were assaulted and annihilated to the last. Everywhere the army of Eltharion marched, peace came to the land. But no matter how many he killed every day a new force of greenskins would appear on the horizon, marching into certain death.
After putting a larger dent in the greenskin population than any army or even single being had ever accomplished, Eltharion discovered that the reason the greenskin hordes had seemed endless was purely because THEY were now coming to HIM. WAAAGH after WAAAGH had pounded against his forces, and he had beaten them all. Knowledge of this had somehow spread throughout their race, and according to a Warboss he had captured almost every greenskin in the world now believed "Pointy-'eads give a proper fight." and had put fighting High Elves high on their To Do list.

Eltharion returned home, content that the bulk of the greenskin race would be lost at sea as Ulthuan is protected both by magic (intentional spells, and the raw energy surrounding it) as well as natural hazards (sea monsters even demigods can't kill, sentient islands that move to cause shipwrecks, and chaotic storms) that only (lucky) Elven navigators utilizing magic can navigate with assured success. Beyond that, the greenskins would have to fight unending Daemons to reach the shore. Then penetrate the defenses of Tor Yvresse.
There at home in his beloved city, Eltharion the Grim waited in the tallest tower of the only large settlement in his cursed region waiting for one final WAAAGH to break itself upon his knee.

===[[End Times]]===
In the End Times event, Eltharion was a major character, when he was chosen to lead the forces of Ulthuan against [[Nagash]]'s forces in an attempt to save [[Everqueen|Aliathra]] since Tyrion was needed to defend Ulthuan from surprise Slaanesh buttsex. Despite being grim and suspicious as ever, he tried to be considerate to his non-elven allies at Eldyra's and Belannar's request. In the battle he proved he was more skilled at leading an army and nearly as skilled in combat as Tyrion, kicking Mannfred's ass being his most notable accomplishment (and that's without the help of his griffon, Stormfang, who was killed by Mannfred when the filthy vampire tried to cheat and use magic). He broke through the magical barrier around [[Arkhan the Black|Arkhan's]] Nagash-summoning ritual with his Fangsword, destroying the sword in the process.

Even without it, he was still a powerful elven warrior with a gem that made him a level 2 wizard. But Arkhan was a level 4.5 wizard, so Eltharion grabbed Arkhan and slammed him against the cauldron's edge to try and break his neck. Badass as it is, taking on a lich with only one's bare hands is not the wisest idea. Arkhan grabbed Eltharion's wrist and used his Curse of Years spell to make Eltharion age until he turned to dust, Thanos-style.

Fuck.

Since Arkhan and Nagash either couldn't or wouldn't claim Eltharion's soul, his ghost was able to give his niece and nephew his necklace and (fully restored) sword some years after the bone daddy's resurrection. This would be a good "Take up my sword" scene, but both of them <strike>worfed</strike> were unceremoniously murdered by [[Malekith]] and his right-hand minion Kouran during the Elven civil war only two books later because both of them disliked the idea of a Druchii being Phoenix King.

Many old-time High Elf players were offended and horrified at the completely shitty end to one of the original Warhammer Fantasy major characters. Most of them didn't blame Eltharion's killer Arkhan (who's another original Warhammer Fantasy character despite being added to the setting one year after Eltharion), but the writers.

===[[Age of Sigmar]]===

In Age of Sigmar [[Tyrion]], [[Teclis]], and Malerion ([[Malekith]] now a dragonman, because changing his name was easier and more likely to succeed than suing Marvel comics) attained godhood and managed to capture Slaanesh who at the time had eaten so many Elf souls from End Times that he was hiding out in a cave, too bloated to move, digesting them. These three chained up Slaanesh in the space between the realms of Light and Shadow and then disemboweled her/him/it in order to release all the delicious elf souls.
This, essentially, is why all the major elves from the world-that-was, including the 'T' twins, Caligula-dragon, [[Morathi]], and [[Alarielle]], have their own elf factions, albeit repackaged as "aelves".

Teclis tried to recreate the High Elves a few times, [[Idoneth Deepkin|with varying degrees of success]], but eventually managed to hit the mark with the [[Lumineth Realm Lords]]. With this success, Teclis then decided (for some reason) to NOT shove Eltharion into a new body, but instead into [[Rubric Marine|an animated suit of armor that will never feel anything]]. As it stands, Eltharion's spirit is considered the paragon of balance between the two castes of Lumineth (named "inventively" as Tyrionic and Teclian) , being a mage as well as a warrior. He's also now gifted with two swords, representative to the two gods of Hysh.

Also Stormwing apparently remains dead, and Teclis decided not to give him a replacement despite the fact that griffons exist in AoS. Since Eltharion's killer, Arkhan, made it to AoS as well, one wonders if they will remember each other. Given the deja vu Mannfred and Balthasar/Balthas felt, it's possible. One can hope he slays a few writers instead.

==On The Tabletop==
Over the years, Eltharion has remained a questionable option to put on the tabletop. His Blind stats were much more impressive, as he was designed as a character who could fit into a unit of Swordmasters similar to the current Loremaster of Hoeth with his low level magic and high offensive stats.
Eltharion the Grim by contrast is overpriced, only ever really useful on Stormwing but thanks to cannonfire being a liability. His magic items make him durable enough to take some damage and dish it back out, although not as well as a proper generic Prince kitted out could do. In addition, his weak spellcasting does not make up for lacking a Mage or Archmage and you run into the problem of the fact you're paying for a combination melee/magic Lord while you want that split between two characters for safety and prioritization reasons.
As a result, Eltharion has spent many years mostly as a proxy model for a generic counterpart simply called "Eltharion" for narrative reasons.

The army of Tor Yvresse is similarly defeatist and confusing. His kingdom lacks any kind of unique signature unit or combination, instead relying on models from other kingdoms which is ironic given his attitude to asking favors (or answering them). His Blind version simply blended Nagarythe tactics with Saphery ones, relying on Shadow Warriors and Swordmasters with high magic and the typical Elf core to deal megafuck damage fast. The Grim seems to rely heavily on magic as well, although even in the Yvresse entry of the 8th edition High Elf Heraldry book only Spearmen, Archers, Silver Helms, Princes/Nobles, and Archmages/Mages are described as Yvressian troops. Whether this means an Yvresse list (supposedly small forces of depleted and shellshocked troops) are almost entirely Core and characters is the intention of Games Workshop or not is unknown. A list like that may explain why Eltharion was killed so quickly in End Times however...

As of Age of Sigmar, whilst the Lumineth Battletome has yet to be released due to Papa Nurgle’s shenanigans, his rules have been previewed by Warhammer Community and he is a ''monster'' in combat, with 2+ to hit and 3+ to wound on both weapons (!), 6 Attacks overall, and -3 to saving rolls with one of them. Not only that, he ignores ALL modifiers when making saving rolls, and halves ALL damage.

==[[Total War: WARHAMMER]] II==

His rivalry with Grom ain't over yet, as he and the thicc green lad will be coming to Total War Warhammer 2 in The Warden and The Paunch, where he shall lead Yvresse against Grom's second invasion. Not only does he bring new units to the High Elves but he also comes with a prison mechanic for enemy Lords and Heroes, an ability to spread the Mists of Yvresse and the ability to rebuild Tor Yvresse and Athel Tamarha and make them so impenetrable it would make [[Rogal Dorn]] envious. He also looks like Henry Cavil for some reason. He also looks like Karl Franz, making people believe Eltharion is just Karl Franz and Deathclaw doing their cosplay part-time job as an Elf.

Eltharion starts all the way over in the fucking Badlands meaning that as soon as you start the Campaign it's a clusterfuck and your forces are split up. Although his early campaign can be a bit hard it is important to note that the Miststalker units he gets are fucking OP and can change the tide of most Battles.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Eltharion and Belannaer.jpg|Artwork for Eltharion the Blind, sparring with Belannaer.
Image:Eltharion the Blind Model.jpg|Eltharion the Blind's model.
Image:Eltharion VS Shadowblade.jpg|Eltharion the Blind fighting motherfucking Shadowblade himself.
Image:Eltharion Fan Art.jpg|Fan art depicting Eltharion the Blind.
Image:Eltharion the Grim TCG.jpg|Eltharion and Stormwing art from the Warhammer Trading Card Game.
Image:Eltharion Fabulous.jpg|80's style Army Book art depicting Eltharion.
Image:Eltharion and Stormwing.jpg|Eltharion's current model, riding Stormwing.
Image:Eltharion vs Magic Barrier.jpg|(spoiler alert)... Eltharion's final moments.
File:Eltharion AOS.jpg|His new Age of Sigmar model
File:Eltharion's_essence.jpg|Eltharion after a very effective weight-loss plan.
File:Stupid Sexy Eltharion.PNG|As he appears in Total War Warhammer 2, sporting Karl Franz's face and not giving Grom as well as other Elven Princess their consent.
</gallery>

{{Template:High Elves}}

Lumineth Realm-Lords

2020-06-19T03:31:23Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:8DC8:2517:CC8C:DA28: /* Origins */

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Lumineth Realm Lords|Logo=Eltharion's essence.jpg|Alliance=Order|Motto=FOR <s>ULTHUAN</s> HYSH!!!!!}}
{{Topquote|The phoenix must burn to emerge.|Janet Fitch}}
{{Topquote|Have you heard of the High Elves?|Oblivion youtube video}}
{{Topquote|MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!|Avalenor, the Stoneheart King}}
The High Elves are back, baby! And they're even pointier and hornier than before! The new faction in [[Warhammer: Age of Sigmar]] residing in the Realm of Hysh and lead by Teclis. Forced onto the defensive by Chaos, they harness the magic of their realm and refuse to go down with a fight... just like the High Elves of old, but without the "dying race" element (and the accompanying lore inconsistencies) and a surprising amount of Dorfiness, given their love of stone magic and elementals.

With a heavy Greek aesthetic, new model and the return of [[Eltharion]], good times are abound if you were a fan of the High Elves back in the world that was.

==Origins==
Once upon a time, [[Teclis]], [[Tyrion]], and [[Malekith|Malerion]] found a previously assumed dead [[Morathi]] who was very much alive, who then led the odd trio to the morbidly obese [[Slaanesh]] in a cave where they beat the shit out of him until he coughed up all of the Elven souls he had consumed after [[The End Times]]. A good chunk of these souls were given to Teclis, in order to recreate the High Elves of old and bring their race back to their former glory. The initial race that came from Teclis's attempts were the [[Idoneth Deepkin]] and, well... [[FAIL|He tried]].

This new batch of Aelves seem to have come out of the oven much better, and he was even able to bring [[Eltharion]]'s spirit back as [[Thousand Sons|a hollow piece of armor powered by light]]. No word yet on what the Idoneth think of them, or vice versa.

Lumineth society was built on self-improvement and the accumulation of wisdom, fueled by using the power of Aetherquartz to amplify their bodies and minds. However, in the typical elven arrogance, they assumed that because Slaanesh was imprisoned they no longer had to worry about Chaos and decided to abuse the Aetherquartz like [[Skaven]] to [[Warpstone]].

Unfortunately for the Lumineth, Tyrion and Teclis were very hands-off about godhood after the civilization was built. As a result, the subtle whispers of the Dark Gods entered their minds, causing envy and bitter rivalry. The subsequent campaigns of defamation and sabotage culminated in a massive civil war called the Ocari Dara, or Spirefall. The entire realm of Hysh was devastated, as the Lumineth had a habit of inventing uber-spells and doomsday devices just to see if they could, justifying it by claiming they were too enlightened to ever use such weapons for evil (which they obviously weren't). To make matters worse, the overflow of passion, pride and obsession from the war became a beacon for Slaaneshi daemons, who then invaded Hysh and would've wiped them out if Tyrion hadn't personally intervened to save the last survivors.

Teclis searched for some way to save his race from themselves, and found it when he managed to commune with Celennar, the spirit of Hysh's moon. He taught the Lumineth a new way of self-discipline, where they would bond with the elemental spirits to gain their power and wisdom. This rearrangement of Lumineth society was called the Reinvention, and is widely credited with preventing them from becoming extinct altogether.

==Society==

The first thing to know about these aleves is that they dedicate themselves to one of the two gods, being split into the martial Tyrionic warriors and the sagely Teclian mages. These aelves also learned to bond with the environment of Hysh itself, from its skies to its rivers and mountains. This led to the Lumineth to devise a second caste system, though its particulars aren't well known yet beyond the use of representative runes.

The Lumineth themselves are split between numerous different kingdoms withing Hysh, known as the Ten Paradises. These Kingdoms each reside on a separate Island, which used to be one landmass before it was sundered in the Age of Chaos. The center Island is Xintil, where Teclis awoke in the Age of Myth and where most of the Sigmar worshiping mortals of Hysh live. Xintil is surrounded by eight islands, each ruled by a separate kingdom. Syar, Iliatha, Ymetrica and Zaitrec are known as the Teclian nations, essentially the Athens compared to the more Spartan Oultrai, Aurathrai, Helon and Alumnia who emulate Tyrion. Each has their own culture, such as Iliatha being matriarchal and doing some cloning shit.

These Lumineth have also come to treasure Aetherquartz, a crystal mineral native to their realm. These crystals gave their wearers great knowledge and power, but it also involves [[Eldar|sucking out their emotions and personalities - a sacrifice they consider worthwhile since unfettered emotions are the Dark Prince's favorite snack]]. In this way, they're similar to [[Stormcast Eternals|Sigmar's golden bois]] in that they're constantly approaching that point where they become effectively logic-driven and unfeeling automatons except these guys see it as an acceptable ending compared to the Stormcast's mad search to end the flaw.

In terms of combat strategies and tactics, their design and combat is heavily reminiscent of Ancient Greek warfare combined with a bit of Roman. The traditional Spearmen, called The Vanari Auralan Wardens, are essentially hoplites, who form phalanxes to hold the enemy in place while the archers, mages and cavalry get set up to do their stuff. Each of these phalanxes are lead by a High Warden, essentially a Centurion, who stands at the rear to make sure shit isn't going wrong. Most of these hoplites also adorn their shields with runes. These runes represent learning and enlightenment for the Realm Lords, but seem to be more for decoration than serving an actual battlefield purpose. These Wardens are also capable of forming into phalanxes called Shining Legions, difficult to harm but also slow. These legions are also present among their brethren who wield swords and bows.

Also, they have strange new armored [[minotaur]]-like monsters as part of their army, which apparently are manifest [[Elemental|Earth spirits]]. Avalenor is the eldest and wisest of them, and a special character that (according to Geedubs) can go toe-to-toe (or hoof-to-hoof, in this case) with a Bloodthirster.

They also sport spellcasters, often with an elemental theme, such as the Alarith Stonemages. Their abilities aren't always tied to casting spells, proving that their elemental bonds are far stronger than most. An exception are the Scinari; think of these women like Sigmarine Knight Incantors, but they weaponize vials of emotions stored from aetherquartz instead of souls.

More lore will come out as they approach their official release, but up until the World that Was comes back, this appears to be the closest thing to the [[High Elves (Warhammer)|High Elves]] old fans will be getting for this setting.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Aelve Spearmen.jpg|AELVES, WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION!?
File:Aelve Cav.jpg|Gee, I wonder what ancient civilization these guys where based on.
File:Elf_elite_guard.jpg|Heavy armor, hammers and a stone motif... [[Dwarfs (WFB)|where have I seen this before?]]
File:Eltharion AOS.jpg|YOU COULDN'T GIVE ME A PROPER BODY, TECLIS?!
File:Befriending furries.jpg|'''Asserting dominance'''
File:Realm Lord Runes.jpg|No one tell the Dwarfs that the Elgi figured out how runes work....
File:Sitting Bull.jpg|An Alarith Stonemage. I wonder how Dwarfs would react to an elf controlling stone with magic.
File:Alarith.png|Alarith, Spirit of the Mountain. And you thought [[Settra the Imperishable|Settra]] had a lot of titles/aliases.
File:Scinari.jpg|A Scinari Cathallar. That's pronounced SIN-ar-ee CATH-ull-arr, according Geedubs themselves.
File:Sad Lady.jpg|A pretty sad job, from the looks of it.
File:Lumineth vs Khorne.jpg|A fun game of Whack-a-reaver
File:Minotaur mountain.jpg|Avalenor in all his red, stony glory.
File:Elf with heavy burden.jpg|She feels your pain.
File:Lumineth Box.jpg|Available for Pre Order this Saturday
</gallery>

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Games Workshop]]

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