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Star Wars:The Mandalorian

2021-03-03T16:48:13Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2: /* Non-Exhaustive List of Awesome */

[[Image:The_mandalorian.jpg|right|200px|thumb|[[Goblin Slayer|''Bounties?'']]]]
Because Disney didn't have enough money, they decided to try their hand at streaming services (despite already owning Hulu), and created Disney+ as a collection of their shows and movies. And with any streaming service, you need a flagship title. Thus, ''The Mandalorian'', the first live action Star Wars television series.

The show itself lives and breaths off your nostalgia for the Fetts, giving you a new lead character wearing the cool ass armor, bounty hunting, getting in gunfights, et cetera. The show's set five years after ''Return of the Jedi'', and leans into spaghetti western's so hard you wonder why Clint Eastwood hasn't shown up (John Wayne's grandson does do much of the stunt work for the titular character). Whether you like this show pretty much comes down to the question of can you accept [[Goblin Slayer|a show where the main character's face is never seen]] and whose name is almost never spoken (probably, considering this site's demographics), and can you stand a story wrapped entirely around the finger of a baby yoda who is the most well know spoiler since (joke.exe).

If you like the 2012 [[Judge Dredd]] movie you will like the show. It also might be one of the closest depictions of a Space Marine we are going to get for the foreseeable future on the "big screen". The Mandalorians (this group at least) have become almost a cult regarding "The Way," their warrior code. Highlights include a [[Looted]] [[All_Terrain_Soup|AT-ST]], getting to watch a [[Men_of_Iron|IG-11]] aimbot entire groups of hostiles multiple times (hell just watching IG-11 ''move'' is amazing), and an episode shot like a horror film except that [[awesome|the protagonist is the hunter]]. The final two episodes are a callback to almost every episode except "The Prisoner" & "The Gunslinger" and numerous characters return and get to be their own brand of awesome. The show also brought back the old style Mandalorians - it's a creed and a way of life, not a species or race. You are a Mandalorian because you chose to be, and because you follow the Mandalorian code, not because you're born that way.

There are several hiccups in writing but those might be smoothed out later, or can just be written off as the galaxy being just that big and individuals not having the same info as the audience. Overall it is the most well received addition to Star Wars since ''Empire''. With the show actually understanding why and how certain reveals should work, ie. not making there be anything special to us (the audience) about the Mandalorian's face/name, it is special because of his code not because he has laser eyes or something.

A second season (it was inevitable) was announced in November 2019, finished filming in March 2020 and arrived on Disney+ in October 2020. Several characters from elsewhere in the franchise such as Boba Fett, Bo-Katan (Duchess Satine’s redhead sister from the Clone Wars, who also happens to be the last known wielder of the Darksaber before Moff Gideon turned up with it in the final episode of season 1) and Ahsoka Tano have made appearances, plus Luke Skywalker himself showed up in the final episode of Season 2.

A third season is slated but is in serious doubt due to conflicts between Disney staff [[SJW|fixated on identity politics]] and those who just want to make good Star Wars works, the former centered around Lucasfilm President <s>Sauron</s> Kathleen Kennedy and the latter around the show's director Jon Favreau. Things came to a head with Kathleen's group carrying out the politically-motivated firing of Cara Dune's actress, Gina Carano ([[That Guy|even going as far as to tell everybody that Gina had been fired... except Gina herself]]). Around this time, lead actor Pedro Pascal was approached for a major role in a series adaptation of the video game series "The Last of Us". Between these two events and the growing [[Skub|ideological strife]] within Disney, the future of the show is in flux.

==Non-Exhaustive List of Awesome==
{{spoilers}}
*Mando/Din Djarin is a cool protagonist and Pedro Pascal manages to play him really well despite having his face hidden behind a helmet most of the time
*Baby Yoda/The Child/Grogu
*IG-11
*Moff Gideon, played by Giancarlo Esposito of Breaking Bad-fame, as the main villain
*Several good strong female characters showing Rey how it's meant to be done, from returning favorites like Bo-Katan to newcomers like Cara Dune.
*Mando's ship, the Razor Crest
*Callbacks to Mandalorian-related things from [[Star Wars:The Clone Wars]] and [[Star Wars:Rebels]]
*Live action debut of Ahsoka Tano
*Return of Boba Fett. He is a Mandalorian and the thing about Almec saying Fetts aren't Mandalorian in TCW (he was clearly biased against them due to his position) is now set to rest.
*Worldbuilding
*Redesign of TIE Fighter with folding wings
*Brings aspects from the old EU into Disney Canon
*Shows that the Empire didn't just disappear overnight and that there are still remnants out there
*Clearly made by people who love and understand Star Wars
*Dark Troopers. If you thought all battledroids are just cannon fodder relying on their numbers to win, think again. Dark Troopers are basically [[Necrons|Terminators]] and can be genuinely terrifying. Not only are they blaster-proof, they can also fly using rocket boosters.
*Tons and tons of fan service
*Luke Skywalker makes an appearance, not the old grumpy disgrace we saw in The Last Jedi but Grandmaster Luke Skywalker
*Makes use of some pretty groundbreaking special effects techniques, continuing the Star Wars tradition of trying to push special effects to new levels. Bye bye greenscreens, hello future. <ref>https://www.starwars.com/news/the-mandalorian-stagecraft-feature</ref> (see more below)
*Has single-handedly restored hope in the franchise after many had lost it due to the sequel trilogy

== Almost-Holodeck Soundstage ==

So we mentioned above there is new special effects in play here. The Mandalorian makes use of a brand new soundstage that consists of a large circle of extremely high resolution LED screens surrounding the actors on almost all sides, projecting distant scenery rendered in real time with Unreal Engine, controlled by the camera's movement. This can be shot directly by the camera, with a computer figuring out the compositing later with a higher quality render for the final cut.

The biggest impact it has is on reflections and ambient lighting on the subjects. Using conventional green screen tech, getting the lighting to match the setting is quite difficult, and getting reflections requires extensive post production work to the point of not being practical in most cases. With the screen set used for Mandalorian, any reflections on metal surfaces (such as shiny, polished armor) are natural and the lighting of the final composite shot will PERFECTLY match the principal photography.

==Bad qualities==
*Some episodes can feel like filler
*It's not [[Star Wars:Rebels]] but bad guys can still sometimes feel pretty incompetent.
*While not overrused, baby Yoda can be grating to those who despise "cute".

{{Star Wars}}

Trazyn the Infinite

2021-03-03T08:07:57Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2: /* Inner Sadness of Trazyn */

{{MattWard}}
{{Awesome}}
{{Heresy}}
[[File:Trazyn.jpg|300px|right|thumb|He's come to steal your shit! (Probably literally, if it's rare enough) And if you're (un)lucky, he might even steal you.]]
{{topquote|I welcome all... to a place in my carefully curated collection!|The kleptomaniac himself, presenting the Necron faction in Battlefleet Gothic Armada 2}}
{{topquote|I give my all to all I see, see? And all I see I give to me!|Huxley, Sesame Street villain}}

'''Trazyn the Infinite''', also known as '''Trollzyn the [[Tarpit]] Breaker''' and '''Trazyn the Grave Robber''', or Possibly Trazyn the shiny Stealer, is the best [[Necron]] Overlord/Phaeron (while ''technically'' his title is Overlord, he has his own Overlord subordinates and rule his own little empire like Phaeron). Basically what you'll get if you combined Doctor Doom, a [[Tomb King]], a [[Blood Ravens|Bloody Magpie]] and the Terminator, with a hint of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Trazyn the Infinite, ruler of the [[Tomb World]] named Solemence (which happens to be a Dyson Sphere powered by a [[C'tan]]), is a self-proclaimed preserver of histories, artifacts and events. In his possession are technologies and relics that are so valuable as to be priceless. Amongst his collection are the fabled wraithbone choir of Altansar, one of the preserved head of [[Sebastian Thor]], the ossified husk of an Enslaver and a suit of baroque power armour, complete with the Custodes who was still wearing it. This means that he is one of only two entities in this or any other universe that rivals the stealing power of the [[Blood Ravens]] (the other being the Deffskullz.) In such a dangerous galaxy, Trazyn is loath to go out and explore it himself, but with so many exquisite artifacts to see and catalogue, he cannot afford to miss out. As a result he will send out substitutes of himself to do his dirty work. On the battlefield this can become increasingly irritating, as killing what appears to be Trazyn may simply be a [[Lychguard]] or a Necron Lord. Meanwhile, somewhere nearby, the real Trazyn is busy smashing his way through his foes to get his metal hands on his latest acquisition.

(That's how the fluff handles it; the crunch rules imply that he simply takes over the body of another Lord, Lychguard, or [[Cryptek]]. He was there; you killed him; he just ran like the troll he is. [[Butthurt|Oh, and you didn't]] [[Alpha Legion|get Slay The Warlord by the way.]] <s>Just imagine this guy politely trolling with the voice of Terl from Battlefield Earth</s> he has a voice actor now via [[Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II]], [[Lulz|who actually sounds like a mechanical version of Terl]] (though he isn't voiced by John Travolta): "Oh, dear! What a wonderful contingent of [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Guardsmen!]] I shall thank you with all my heart, General, for this marvelous gift. Please tell them to strike a nice pose while I prepare a stasis grenade...")

/tg/ has gained a fondness for him, due to his thieving ways, his Doctor Doom-esque body doubles, and his polite yet [[Troll|trollish]] attitude, he is also known for using completely self-evident aliases, which nevertheless seem to work quite well. It is generally agreed that he is one of the only good things Matt Ward has ''ever'' put into the [[fluff]].

A war-torn city in the [[Ultramar]] system. The [[Ultramarines]], aided by an [[Imperial Guard]] regiment led by Lord Castellan Ursakar [[Creed]], prepare to face an [[Ork]] incursion in a final battle. The Orks are numerous, but the [[Imperium]] has the upper hand, just barely, as Lord Creed's tactical genius has proven invaluable. As the Orks begin their final assault on the city, the Ultramarines ready their defenses. Creed, ever oddly silent, gazes intently at a large flagpole in the center of town, watching through binocs as the Orks' charge is funneled towards the center of the city. Suddenly, as the Orks near the square, the tip of a [[Baneblade]]'s main gun can be seen coming around the flagpole. The great tank begins to emerge from behind the thin metal object, perfectly and impossibly concealed. It begins to move into its firing arc, and a great shout is heard from the [[Warboss]] down below, just barely carrying over the rest of the din. "'''CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-'''" Suddenly, the cry cuts off in confusion, as Creed spits out his cigar. Where the Baneblade once stood, there is air, thin air. Not a trace remains of the enormous tank. It has vanished completely. Then, gradually, a green, crackling, electrical rune appears hanging in the air where the Baneblade was. It extends gracefully, for its platonic geometric form. If Creed was given to poetry, he might even say it resembled a rose. But he knew better. A rage he had felt only once before began to boil deep within, and his cry shook the world as the Orkish tide began to hack his guardsmen and the Marines to pieces. "'''TRAAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYN!'''"

==From [[Matt Ward|Ward]] Himself==
"[[Bullshit|Trazyn's also no slouch in combat.]] Whenever his empathic obliterator kills an enemy, it has a chance to kill all other enemies of the same type in the same combat - perfect for Ork mobs. This isn't so useful against characters, but that's why Trazyn also carries a clutch of mindshackle scarabs - why kill an enemy when you can take over his mind and have him kill for you...?"oh wait nope, mss are now just a useful fear test. So now the only real use you'll find for him in a duel is whacking them with a stick.

==Letter to Inquisitor Valeria==
This is the (in)famous little piece of fluff that has made Trazyn so likable to /tg/, contrasting nicely with all the grim darkness around. Do note that it is unclear whether he's fucking nuts, indulging in some elaborate trolling or even both at once.

''Dear Lady, let me express my fulsome appreciation for your most generous gift. It is so very rare to discover another of my own kind that appreciates my work, therefore to find understanding amongst a member of another race is nothing short of a revelation. I realise that you briefly trod my galleries, but the fact that you spotted in so short a time that my Acabrius War collection was lacking three regiments of Catachan warriors reveals that you truly have a collector's eye for detail. And to send five regiments! Such generosity will allow me to weed out and replace a few of the more substandard pieces in my collection. If I might level a minor criticism, the instructions issued to your gift were manifestly not as clear as you thought, as most of them had to be forcibly restrained. Sadly it seems that the lower orders will always behave like an army of invasion, whether that be their purpose or not. However, this is a minor complaint and seems almost churlish under the circumstances, so please allow me to repay your gift with one of my own. Accompanying this message is the Hyperstone Maze, one of a series of Tesseract Labyrinths constructed at the height of the Charnovokh Dynasty. It is a trinket really, only of interest to scholars such as you and I, but I trust you will find it amusing; assuming you have the wit to escape its clutches, of course.''

It should be noted that an Inquisitor can actually use a Tesseract as a relic.

==The Infinite List of Dickings==
[[File:Trazyn2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Daww]]
Trazyn is universally regarded as a <strike>[[Eldrad|huge dick]]</strike> pretty fun guy to be around due to his <strike>[[Blood Ravens|rampant kleptomania]]</strike> erudition and wit. Here is a list of his <strike>crimes</strike> many-splendored accomplishments, compiled for the <strike>warning</strike> edification of /tg/.

* Killed five invading regiments of Catachans, then turned them into [[Wargame|miniatures for his collection.]]
** Sent [[Inquisitor Valeria]] fan mail (maybe, we can't tell if he was being sarcastic in the letter) attached to an armed tesseract labyrinth [[Blood Ravens|as a reward for "gifting" him said Catachan regiments.]] Being a true gentleman, when Valeria managed to unravel said tesseract labyrinth and use it 'safely', he took it with good grace and they became pen pals of sorts... [[Grimdark|But since no good deed stays unpunished]], as of Fall of Cadia Trazyn has revealed that while Valeria became his human waifu for some time she eventually got [[blam|BLAM'med]] for consorting with xenos, hence why he releases Greyfax the Angery instead of getting Valeria to tag along (Just as planned? How about Tau start summoning daemons for battle? <strike>And maybe Orks start building their own webway</strike>They already did it using superior gravitational corridors which don't need the warp during the War of the Beast.)
* Banned from the Necron throne world of Mandragora after trying to [[Ork|loot]] [[Imotekh the Stormlord|Imotekh's]] staff.
** [[Internet_Troll|Pops in whenever he feels like it anyway.]]
* Stole Sebastian Thor's [[wat|head]]. Maybe (There's like five other museums claiming to have his skeleton; the only reason Trazyn stands out is because his Thor head is preserved in a jar, rather than a skull).
* Took the World Spirit Shrine of Carnac, an [[Exodite]] world as a trophy for helping to conquer it.
* Uses other Necron Lords as body doubles [[Internet_Troll|without telling them.]]
* Told the [[Ultramarines|greatest amongst us all]] he was old pals with [[Roboute Guilliman|Rowboat Girlyman.]] Considering that one of the pokeballs he unleashed against Chaos at the Fall of Cadia was a bunch of Ultramarines fresh from the [[Great Scouring|aftermath of the Horus Heresy]], he might be telling the truth ("old pals" by his definition, of course).
** And then informed them that maybe [[Internet_Troll|he was going to take Papa Smurf, as he'd be better off with him than in the company of the Ultramarines.]]
*** And with Rowboat coming back, [[Yvraine|somehow]], for 40k End Times, we might actually get to see how the two know each other. If they actually do. There's every possibility that [[troll|Trollzyn was just lying]].
* <s>Has a fucking PRIMARCH stored at his pad, supposedly... Possibly Vulkan according to White Dwarf.</s> Technically it's a Primarch clone, but it's still a perfect copy of the pre-Heresy Fulgrim, courtesy of [[Fabius Bile]].
*Told [[Vulkan He'stan]] he had the Song of Entropy, luring the Salamanders into a 10-year war with the Necrons. At the end of it, Trazyn pretty much said "just kidding, I don't have the Song of Entropy," as he tried to steal the Spear of Vulkan. Kind of back fired when [[Vulkan He'stan]] decided to just give him the Spear. ''Tip'' first. He'stan was pretty pissed when he learned Trazyn just jumped into another body.
** Twice.
*Invaded the Imperial planet of Midgardia and nabbed a C'tan shard of Nyadra'zatha, despite [[Logan Grimnar]]'s attempts to stop him. It's notable that he pulled this off in Logan's own codex supplement, where most other battles in the book were a resounding Space Wolf victory. To be fair, Space Wolves destroying (and thus accidentally freeing) a C'tan shard would make them look like an assholes. I mean even more assholes than they already are.
**In retribution, Logan hunted him down to another planet, Vhaloth IV, and ended up kicking Imotekh's ass instead. ([[Just As Planned]]. The dick deserved it for hanging on to his staff anyway.)
* Captured an Ork warboss and the Deathwatch kill team that was hunting said warboss, and sat them in front of each other in his collection for all eternity. And he double-checked they were both still self-aware, just to feel them suffer.
* Caught a bunch of tech priests evacuating from the necron invasion of Magogue, and set them up in stasis as a monument to that planet's fall. Notable because he pulled it off in the Skitarii codex. Trazyn's apparently the go-to guy for being able to win outside of his own codex.
* May or may not be the one pulling the strings behind the events of [[Xenology]], as probably he won't have any problems impersonating a C'tan shard.
* Has been hanging out on Cadia for who knows how long as the "man of iron" which all but confirms the pylons are necrons made.
* <strike>Steals Creed himself after the fall of Cadia.</strike> Blundered into allowing Creed to infiltrate his collection.
* Steals Papa Smurfs' (The Ultramarine bloke that can't spell Robert properly) pillow from his lumber.
* Stole an Emperor's Children's gene-seed tithe ship containing thousands of progenoids.
* Traded it for the only perfect clone of [[Fulgrim]], thus dashing the only hope of the Third Legion rebuilding itself and becoming more than a bunch of depraved sick fucks.
* Planning to add to his collection all the stuff from [[Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II]], World Engine and Hiveships included!
* Has an agent in Middle Earth Shadow of War called the Trophy Hunter. How he got there is beyond this anon's mental capabilities
* Frees an AdMech Magos and a pair of Sororitas in the short story War in the Museum to deal with an escaped Lictor and Hive Tyrant. The Sororitas were supposed to be biological sisters frozen in their last moments fighting Tyranids, but one sister was dead and [[Grimdark|used as spare parts to fix up her surviving sister]]; the other Sororitas was a stand-in taken from Goge Vandire's Brides of the Emperor (the precursor of the SoB). Trazyn goes so far as to swear on his honor he will reunite them with their Lord and not put them back in the same exhibit if they accomplish their task. True to his word, he puts them in a different exhibit...facing another called 'The Beheading of Goge Vandire'. Oddly enough, Trazyn considers the magos as something of a friend and even sends the AdMech research packets on his behalf, and decided to keep the Magos in stasis with full awareness at the Magos's request. Seems he prefers to perform his computing in peace and quiet and does not mind being part of Trazyn's collection.
* Stole [[Gorkamorka]] for his Angelis display. From The Infinite and The Divine "Trukks and buggies howled corkscrews across the display, ripping across the desert shanty town built around the enormous idol of Gork – or Mork.
* Played a practical joke on [[Orikan the Diviner]] by unleashing a genestealer on him.
** Said genestealer survived the encounter and went on to infect and raise a cult on the planet which attacked a visiting naval battlegroup [[grimdark|leading to the planet being exterminatused]].
* Played another practical joke on [[Orikan the Diviner]] by unleashing a brood of catachan devils on him.
[[File:Bfg-2-trazyn.jpg|800px|center|thumb|A man of culture always enjoys a tour for his collection...]]

==Things on Trazyn's 'Must Have' List (and how to get some of them, perhaps.)==
[[File:TrazynAndDiomedes.jpg|thumb|right|300px|There can only be one true magpie.]]
* Old One Eye's lost eye (Hire Bile to vatgrow it)
* Kartoth the Bloodhunger, both so he can say he won the game as well as rip holes to go back in time for more collecting.
* [[Abaddon]]. No, really, that's (one of) the reason(s) he came to Cadia in the first place: he wants to add the Warmaster of Chaos to his collection! (Last seen near Vigilus, should team up with the Ultramarines since the Planet Killer is coming there)
* [[Saint Celestine]]. (Go read The ''Fall of [[Cadia]]'', this is not a joke! Also, not that hard, he just kill her, keeps the body while she reincarnates somewhere else)
* A lock of the Emperor's hair (Assuming it hasn't rotted away by the time he gets to Terra). (Again, can be vatgrown by Bile in exchange of.. something)
* <s>[[Magnus the Red|Magnus the Red's]] favourite eye.</s> Magnus has agreed to provide things for his collection in exchange for being left intact
* An 8th edition Sisters of Battle codex. (done)
** An 8th edition box set of plastic sisters. Yes, he's the reason the November 2019 set sold out so early.
*Anyone atheist in Age of Sigmar, if not then a dwarf from the Kharadron Overlords will suffice.
* The [[Sanguinor]] in a stasis field.
* <s>A living Tyranid zoo (no stuffed dolls for our old collector). Would be much easier to accomplish if 'Nids didn't try to keep the fuck away from Necrons and their worlds.</s> Never mind. He gave up on this one after his specimens broke out of their exhibit and nom-med half of Solemnace. He's currently attempting to redo it on another planet near Solemnace.
* One of each type of Eldar Aspect Warrior, arranged in complementing color order.
* Each [[Phoenix Lord]], including the fallen Ahra or Drazhar (just in case he's Ahra); bonus points for the originals. Otherwise, something from them, such as one of [[Asurmen]]'s twin-linked [[Shuriken Catapult]]s or a lock of [[Jain Zar]]'s hair (bonus points for getting things from all of their incarnations).
* A signed autograph from each Primarch. (Still asking [[Orikan the Diviner|Orikan]] for "access" to his time machine so he can get one from [[Ferrus Manus]], [[Horus]], [[Sanguinius]], and [[Konrad Curze]] since they're all presently busy being dead.)
* A signed autograph from each chaos god, preferably without stains or switcharoo.
* A sweet ride so he can cruise the galaxy looking for new junk.
* The [[Baneblade#Fortress of Arrogance|Fortress of Arrogance]], preferably with [[Commissar Yarrick]] as well.
* [[Sammael|Sammael's]] Jetbike.
* A [[Pauldron|shoulder pad]] from each space marine chapter (Pre-heresy legions and post-heresy chapters all together of course, going for the complete set!)
* A Space Marine from each of the first Legions (this collection would be easily finished if not for the fact that he can't find any marines from the two missing legions).
* The two missing legions.
* [[Mary Sue|Those meddling kids - and that stupid dog!]]
* <s>A painting of one of the Emprah, Tzeentch, Cegorach, and the Deceiver's card games.</s> Creed provided him a holovid of the game that got him banned. He is content with this, And believes that Creed should be unbanned
* A circus filled with nothing but Eldar Harlequins.
* The <s>school report and childhood items</s> first set of kid-sized slave shackles of Asdrubael Vect.
* Urien Rakarth's first torture kit.
* An Avatar of Khaine. He's probably killed one, given how Geedubs keeps jobbing them, but the fact that their remains melt away and reform on the Craftworld - similar to how Necrons phase out - means Trazyn hasn't gotten one yet.
* A garage filled with one of each type of the Imperial Guard's tanks.
*A Daughter of Khaine and a Khorne berzerker with Hemophobia side by side.
* A feather from Sanguinus's wings. (Dante has one in stasis)
* An Imperial Titan that has been CREEEEEEEDed.
** A snap shot of the look on Abaddon's face upon seeing aforementioned Titan in the middle of his battle line, shouting CREEEEEEEED
* Abbadon's arms. Creed hid them so well that even Trazyn is having trouble finding them.
* A matching pair of [[Angry Marine]] Powerfeet.
* A pair of a Sisters Of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties from each Order, stolen from their quarters while they are asleep. Surprisingly hard to pull off (fnar fnar), even for Trazyn.
* A set of [[Lelith Hesperax|Lelith Hesperax's]] combat attire after she's been in a fight. This is even harder to pull off than the Sisters of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties.
* One of the fingers from the Talon of Horus. (Will have to force-grip Abaddon very hard)
* Slaanesh's entire porn collection. While no planet is big enough to hold all that porn, that's what parallel dimensions are for!
* One of Ferrus Manus's hands. He isn't picky which.(Not sure if Vulkan completely destroyed it)
* An [[Imperial Knight]] from each house.
* The Panacea STC.
** And since [[Lady Malys]] got there first, anything cool she owns, as well as a selfie with her before and after she realizes he stole her stuff.
* The Eye of Horus. As in the ''actual'' Eye.(Again, Bile can make one)
* The [[Eye of Terror]] and everything in it.
* Commander [[Puretide]] and/or [[Farsight|all]] [[Shadowsun|of his]] [[Shas'O Kais|students]].
* A calm and rational [[World Eaters|World Eater]] marine.
* A clean and disease-free [[Death Guard]] marine.(Hello Nathaniel Garro)
* A [[Emperor's Children]] marine who shows restraint.(Hello Saul Tarvitz, maybe already got him that's why they never found the body?)
* <s>A live and fleshy non-sorcerer [[Thousand Sons|Thousand Son]] marine. (As of Ahriman: Unchanged, there was one of these, and as of Gathering Storm Yvraine made a dozen more before throwing them into the Warp)</s> Provided by [[Magnus The Red]] in exchange for a deck of cards
* <s>A [[Night Lords]] Marine that is actually friendly to be around.</s> Has also been provided by [[Magnus The Red]] in exchange for the same deck of cards.
* An atheist [[Word Bearers]] marine
* A [[Kharn|certain]] swell guy.
** A picture with said swell guy
* Remnants of the Inquisitorial acolyte who died of old age. Ones aged by a [[Hrud|Hrud's]] entropic field do not count.
* The Doomsday Clock from [[The Last Church]].
** <s>Also Uriah himself.</s> After finding out he’s a chaos worshiper he has changed his mind.
*The cure for the [[Red Thirst]].(Hello Rubicon Primaris, maybe)
**A photo of The Blood Angels' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them. (Bonus for [[Dante]]'s reaction with his mask off)
* The cure for the Curse of the Wulfen.(Hello again, Rubicon Primaris, maybe)
** A photo of The Space Wolves' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them. (Bonus of [[Logan Grimnar]] shaving his beard in shame)
* The right hands of [[Helbrecht]], [[Eldorath Starbane]] and anyone else who had their right hands cut off by Imotekh.
* At least one [[Jokaero]].(shouldn't be that difficult as even a Catachan team managed to got one during the Pandorax Campaign)
** And anything they make/modify.
* As many [[Catgirl|catgirls]] as possible.
** Along with a selfie with each of them.
*** And as many [[Kitsune|kitsunes]] as possible, along with selfies and a shrine to their name.
* Any 100% reliable information about Alpha Legion.
* Any 100% reliable information about Alfa Legion.
*A recording of an Idoneth Deepkin talking in a pirate accent.
* The Blood Ravens Armoury. Since most of the above was already "gifted" to the Chapter. Not to mention there are quite a few things listed here that may be in there in the first place
* A machine to control the [[Warp]] so he can create impossible things. (Either the Golden Throne or the Tuchulcha engine may do the trick)
* A complete and unblemished cosmetic kit 'gifted' by a [[Pretty Marines]]' Company Captain, still with a wrapping bow attached. (Getting one each from both Loyalist and Chaos Pretty Marines Captains would be even better!)
* The very [[Ethereal|Ethereals]] who united the [[Tau]] race back when they were limited to only their homeworld, or their bodies...or severed heads.
* One of each type of Imperial Assassin in the position they held before trying to kill him. This wouldn't be so problematic if it wasn't for the fact that he has yet to convince the Assassinorium to send a Culexus assassin against him.
* A 1st Edition copy of the [[Codex Astartes]] with Roboute Guilliman's autograph on the dust jacket. (Guilliman probably has one)
** A 1st Edition copy of the [[Lectitio Divinatus]] with Lorgar's signature on the dust jacket to sit directly opposite the Codex. (Again Guilliman, if you are not that picky in terms of what "1st edition" means)
* A recording of Warboss [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull]] famous: "Wez gonna Waagh!"speech.
* A prison capable of holding [[Cypher]], containing the man himself.
* <s>A STC detailing how to finally have enough Dakka</s>. '''*KRUMP* HERE...HERESESS...BLOODY 'ELL WHOTEVER DAT WORD IS YOU 'UMIES KEEP SAYIN' BEFORE Y'SHOOTS STUPIDER 'UMIES!'''
* <s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Warhammer Fantasy.</s> Done as he managed to get an STC of Steam with a Total Warhammer series warp-powered bunch of keys.
* <s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Lord of the Rings.</s> (Trazyn has now accomplished this according to some writefaggotry posted on fanfiction.net. Much nerd [[rage]] shall ensue. You have been warned.)
* <s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Wars.</s> (He has also accomplished this due to MORE Writefaggotry on Fanfiction.net.)
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Trek (Risky, considering the technologies in Star Trek, he just might actually end up as a collectible himself or be tracked back to his home dimension).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Mass Effect universe (Doable, but risky if he ever crosses paths with the Reapers).
* A TARDIS so he can learn the name of The Doctor (Riskier than Star Trek because of the technologies involved. Also, if anyone could track Trazyn back to his home dimension and thoroughly wreck his shit it'd be The Doctor).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Marvel Universe (main timeline).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the DC Universe (main timeline).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Halo universe ( dangerous because of Master Chief and his damn luck).
* The body of a Dwarf [[Slayer]] who died of old age.
* <s>All the NON-Grimdarkness of the 41st millennium in a bottle. So nothing in bottle then.</s> Already done.
* [[Temperus Maximus]]' Adamantium Cigar. Trazyn almost managed to loot this, but Temperus suddenly called an Orbital Strike on top of himself before this happened. Temperus' armor received minor scorch marks when the strike ended and Trazyn's body double was obliterated.
* One marine from each chapter of the cursed founding.
* A [[Death Korps of Krieg]] gas mask serial number 0000000000000000000000001.
* Names, addresses and personal phone numbers of the two unknown Primarchs.
* Cardinal Anton Fedelicus and his collected writings, which if introduced would have allowed for a very large degree of sexual freedom to have been integrated into the ecclesiarchical theology without increasing the risk of Slaaneshi corruption.
* A living [[Astral Knights|Astral Knight]].
* A "lucky" [[Lamenters]] marine (also count as one of the cursed founding collection).
* A working time travel device created by the [[Ordo Chronos]] ([[heresy|if it was ever made]]). The purpose for this device being -- you guessed it -- collect more artifacts from the past.
* His own body double in an alternative universe, if only he did not manage to turn into [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure|dimensional sponge]] in the process or lost to his alternative self in a collection contest.
* A lock of hair from each of the [[Tarkus|infamous]] [[Boreale|baldraven]] [[Diomedes|marines]].
* A "My First Assault Cannon" box set (Even better if unopened).
* A photo of the Emperor as a boy.
* As well as all of his photographic recordings scattered throughout time, whether it is rock scribble from the stone age or painting in the Renaissance Era or those Youtube video he has made back in 20XX.
* A [[Squat]].
* A living Boneripper (plenty of chance since Thanquol is still around in Age of Sigmar).
* The personal battle standard of [[Gabriel Angelos]] used at his ascension to chapter master.
** The Blood Ravens also want one of Trazyn's personal banners. Negotiations are ongoing.
* An Ogryn's 'Guardsman's Primer: Colouring Book Edition' and matching 'The Great Crayon Crusade' coloring set.
* The oldest dreadnought of each Space Marine chapter.
* [[Samus]]' armor.
* A body-pillow of [[Lolicron|Cathy]] (Original prefered)
* The Entire First and Second Seasons of "If The Emperor had a text-to-speech device" on blu-ray signed by Chapter Master Alfabusa.
* Chapter Master Alfabusa in a stasis chamber.
* Limited collectors edition of Half life 3 (After all, it's only been 38,000 years in development, maybe Valve will finish it before chaos/da WAAAAGH/the Tyranids/Imotekh's ego consumes the entire galaxy!)
* [[Sly Marbo|Sly Marbo's]] personal pistol, though not even Trazyn is willing to try and collect it.
* An actual ork sniper.
* A Butlin-Class Titan.
* The [[Men of Iron|Man of Iron]].
* <s>The Cigar Creed always chews but never smokes.</s> Acquired as part of the new Creed exhibit.
* The legs from an Imperial Sentinel (must have attachment for his own legs)
*A picture of Sigmar hugging Draconithon
* A list of names of <s>the fallen to wave at the Dark Angels</s> COMPLETELY UNRELATED TRAITOR MARINES THAT JUST LIKE WEARING BLACK AND RED AND WINGED SWORDS.
* A ham personally provided by the Ordo Draigo.
* A book borrowed from the black library with a selfie of him and Cegorach.
* A picture of himself before he turned to Necron. (just print his memories, he is an android, duh)
* The best pole dancer in the Commorragh in a stasis chamber (that was [[Yvraine]] at one point, so her).
* The best pole dancer out of all Slaanesh cultists in a stasis chamber.
* A photograph of a Cyclonic torpedo the moment it impacts the ground.
* A group photo of Thunder Warriors with Arik Taranis and the Emperor.
* An acknowledgement from GW that [[Malal]] does indeed exist.
* An actual affordable GW Warhammer 40k miniature from any faction.
* An undisputably good codex from any faction.
* [[Carlos McConnell]], or at least one of his catgirls, in a stasis chamber.
* A jar of [[Skub]].
* The book "[[Standard Template Construct]]" for dummies.
* Sensible [[Blood Angels]].
* Hairless [[Space Wolves]]. Being shaven doesn't count, the Marine has to be hairless naturally.
* A copy of Battletoads.
* The Statue of Liberty, shrunk to 10 feet size and taken from Nova Yourk hive of Merica.
* Blueprint of [[Angron]]'s Butcher's Nails.
* A WW2 Era Luger pistol, original.
* Enough Blood for the [[Khorne|Blood God]].
* <s>Enough Skulls for the Skull Throne.</s> THERE ARE NEVER ENOUGH SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE, LOYALIST SCUM!
* One of Roboute Guilliman's new [[Primaris Marines|Super Space Marines]].
* A Pokeball that can hold a C'tan.
* A living member of the Interex.
* A Picture of Eldrad and Vect trying to out-dick one another.
* An STC that has technology that will allow him to do some Dark Eldar Drugs.
* A video of Nemesor Zahndrekh putting on glasses and realizing that he is now a Skeleton Robot and the Other Necrontyr are not what they seemed to be
* An member of an Alien race the Imperium actually gets along with. (<s>Pretty damn impossible.</s> Also [[Yvraine]]; two birds, one stone)
* An Ork who can actually think. Word has it [[War of the Beast|he might need to go back in time for that...]]
* <s>DLC for Dawn of War III.</s> Got that on the same sale he got the keys for TW:WH.
* An Autograph from [[Nagash]].
* A video of Yarrick taking over the Orks. (<s>Only a Matter of time now</s> [[wat|It's mentioned in the 8E rulebook that the Orks and Humans on Armageddon formed an alliance to fight chaos, so this is pretty much canon for now.]])
* The Golden Throne. That means Trazyn is not allowed on Holy Terra.
* [[Belisarius Cawl]]. Bonus points if he collects the Alpha Primus as well.
* <s>Enough DAKKA.</s>'''WUT DID WE SAY 'BOUT DAT?'''
* The name and address of the Ork that keeps Dakka blocking him.
* An official GW/[[The Ninth Age]] tournament. Will require some dimensional traveling since the latter started distancing itself from being 9th Edition WHFB.
** An official WHFB tournament that uses [[Warhammer Armies Project]] rules.
* [[Farsight#The_Dawn_Blade|The Dawn Blade]].
* A clone of [[Fabius Bile]], not as an exhibit but just to make conversation with. He nearly got one if Fabius Bile didn't decide to trade him his Fulgrim clone instead.
* [[Lorgar|Lorgar's]] diary, the single largest source of [[heresy]] in the universe. He puts this one off due to the aura of discomfort that radiates from anything Lorgar has touched.
* A portal into an alternate past reality where GW doesn't constantly use the Eldar as fluffy punching bags, and where xenos factions actually get as much attention as [[Space Marine|GeeDub's poster boys.]]
* A pyrophobic [[Salamanders (Chapter)|Salamander]].
* The Emperor's text-to-speech device.
* The Emperor's left eye.
* [[Old Man Henderson|Old Man Henderson's]] gnomes.
* Old Man Henderson's player.
* All Nintendo World Championship cartridges, both regular and gold.
* One of those [[Noise Marine]] sonic guns that looks like a sweet guitar.
* A member of the Death Korps of Krieg with self-preservation instincts.
* A living [[Sensei]].
* The only known Platypus to achieve the rank of Inquisitor along with his arch-nemesis: a bumbling non-chaotic heretek pharmacist.
* A set of [[Rogue Trader]] era [[Beakie]] Armor.
*A picture of Gorkamorka turning into Gork and Mork
* The rest of the Blackstone Fortresses.
* [[Commissar Fuklaw|Commissar Fuklaw's]] cap.
* [[Cultist-chan]] in a sound-proof cell.
* A recording of Tzeentch saying [[JUST AS PLANNED]] in every known language (would've been done sooner, but Tzeentch keeps speaking in languages that he claims are created in the future or he might be making up, just to troll Trazyn).
* One of [[Dranon|Dranon's]] cigars.
* [[Ciaphas Cain]] HERO OF THE IMPERIUM's missing fingers.
* A sextape of Cain and Amberley.
* Two copies of Shadow War: Armageddon. The second one will be a backup 'Just in case' copy.
* Some [[Primaris Lieutenant|Primaris Lieutenants]]. There is so many right now nobody is gonna notice some of them go missing.
* Roboute's body pillow of Yvraine.
* Yvraine's vibrator that she got while on Ultramar.
* The [[Silent King]]'s Sanguinus mask.
* A "Miniature" of an Emperor Class Titan in regular 40k scale.
* Dio Brando with a ROAD ROLLER DAAAAA!!!
* Kitten's Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker deck.
* Kitten himself.
* A picture of Kitten and Shadowsun kissing.
* Shadowsun's bodysuit after a fight.
* [[Commissar Yarrick]]'s right arm
* Assholetep's robes. The only thing stopping is the fact that if Trazyn accomplished this, Assholetep would immediately assume it's Trazyn and wreck his collection, so Trazyn's put this on the backburner.
* Every single person who had edited this page. Don't! I'm edi--
* Some more paper and a pencil for more lists. And Lord Admiral Spire to complete his Imperial collection.
* All the Pokémons.
* A clear, accurate, unedited photograph of a Diglett's body.
* The official single extended version of the Tattered Sails Shanty signed by [[Luthor Harkon]].
* The Mona Lisa (will probably have to infiltrate the Imperial Palace).
* Evidence of [[Cypher]]'s true identity.
* A 1990s Holographic Charizard Pokémon Card.
* One Sergeant "Jinxie" Penlan, ideally in the process of tripping over something and preferably not somehow messing up half the collection because of it.
* And a partridge in a pear tree~
* An ork that doesn't want to fight
* A gretchin that's stronger than an ork
* One of the Artifacts of Vulkan.
*[[Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure|A Road Roller,Da.]]
* And some good Matt ward fluff. Besides himself. Permanently placed at the bottom of the list because even he has his limits.

==Ever-increasing Trazyn's aliases List==
*Arsène Lupin
*Pepe
*Bob The regular non-necron guardsman.
*Bob the Builder
*The Fat Controller
*Sir Toppham Hatt
*Every notable persons from your childhood
*Borris the generic soul-less warrior
*Phaeron Imothephek the Thunderboltlord.
*Onionkyr the Voyager.
*Nemesor Zahnpasta.
*The grinch
*Vanguard O'Brien.
*El Bandido Dickbag de la Muerte
*Trellsin the Singular.
*[https://youtu.be/v4Y4QBL5Fmg Bender][https://youtu.be/OWPfcEOr2Yg Bending Rodríguez]
*Necropimp
*The most fabulous Necron of them all (after he said this, Sanguinius appeared before him and told him that if he ever said the word fabulous again, he would steal everything he owns)
*Illuminor Spookyras.
*Notc'tan the Diviner.
*Sissy Rack the Loud Queen.
*Dio Brando/ZA WARUDO.
*Thanquol the (In)Competent.
*Marisa Kirisame
*Shas'O Wi A'bu.
*Inquisitor Emprah of Catachan.
*Anon Y. Mouse.
*Captain Inkoc Nito.
*Dirty Dan
*Pinhead Larry
*Winona Ryder
*The Tin White Douche
*Dean Isle.
*Kaz Miller.
*Mideer Laydee.
*Eliphas the inheritor.
*Commissar Hugh Mann.
*Korporal Dick Goesinzya.
*Canoness Ivanna Purgealot.
*High Scout Henrick Day-o-midis.
*Farsighter Loldrad Gretchinbane.
*Lord-sergeant Ultramarius Sicarius.
*Archservitor Robotnik Wilhelm.
*Warboss Ghozkull Grotstealer.
*Skitarius Ranger Alpha Stroheimus JJ-1337.
*Archon Kim Ke.
*Trashbin the incompetent
*Suede O'Niim.
*John Smith.
*Alan Smithee.
*Kyon.
*Ned Cron.
*Mouse M.D.
*Victor Domashev.
*Bernie Madoff
*Carmen Sandiego
*Lara Craft
*Master Thief
*Sir Welland Dowde
*High Admiral tankcommander Pascual.
*Techpriest 01110100 01110010 01100001 01111010 01111001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100110 01101001 01101110 01101001 01110100 01100101 00001010 .
*Gordon Freeman.
*Mr. Roboto.
*Nyzart the ending
*Nafqa.
*Sly Cooper
*The God emperor of Mankind.
*Mac Tonight.
*The G-man.
*Venom Snake.
*He-Man.
*Skeltor
*Iron Man.
*Albert Wesker
*Gabe Newell.
*SLYYYY MARBOOO!! (When Trazyn assumed this disguise, every necron in the segmentum had a Catachan Fang spontaneously appear in its skull and teleported to self repair, and the knife that appeared in Trazyn's hands had "I'll let you off this time" written on the grip."
*Big Boss Final
*Zharn the Bee Trainer
*Tray the Model Man
*[[matt_ward|Matt Ward's]] dignity
*BIg BobbyG.
*alpharius.
*not omegon.
*the London Jets
*pantheon of 40k (GW)
*Belisarius Cawl
*JOHN CENA!!!
*The Immortal Jod Emper of Space-skeletonkind
*Spartacus
*Danger Powers
*The Second Coming of Matt Ward
*Fresh Prince of Ultramar
*The King of Games
*Mr E. Man
*The real thief of the Primarchs
*Sister Superior Wendy
*Chaplin Hamburglar
*The Doctor
*Thief Khee'Bler
*Norm L. Pearson
*The Lord of the [[Squats]]
*<S>Waldo</s> Wally
*The God Emperor of Mankind
*Ol’ Funnybones
*T-8 Double Zero
*Systems model 101
*Hugh Mann
*The Necron emperor of Necronkind
*The next door neighbour who is a hoarder
* YOU THIEVING BASTARD!
*Commander Griefouz
*Our Lord and Saviour
*Generic Robot #3775123
*Trashy the Incontinent
*Jimmy Neuron
*Lieutenant Crunch
*Mor'Dakka
*Alice Turning
*Shiro The Black
*Kuro The White
*Pha'Keen Weeb
*Fabricator General ES-7C
*High Lord Servitus Tenticulus Corpuscori
*Fleet Admiral Squatbar
*Jabba Da Pump
*Canoness Phat As'h
*Sister Jhail Bate
*Inquisitor Bigideas
*Huxley
*Sigmar Freudian
*Dr.Ankh Scotchman
*Machine Spirit R2-D2
*Clifford The Big Red Murder Beast
*Big Mac
*Chaplain Charles Chaplin
*Larry The Cable Guy
*NVIDIA GeForce GTX 970 4GB GDDR5 PCI Express 3.0 Graphics Card
*Bed Bath and Beyond Store Manager
*Rick Sanchez
*Morty Sanchez
*Stupid fucking robot that keeps stealing my shit, god damn i hate this guy

==Fall of Cadia==
Oddly enough, it appears that Trazyn decided to 'aid' the Imperium in their defense of Cadia (he decided that after 60 million years it would be interesting to play the hero for once). He knows the secrets of the Pylons on Cadia, and he even releases Imperium people from his collection (represented in game by letting you deep strike units, if you take Trazyn in your Imperium army). What a great guy giving up his collection to have more space for other exotic exhibits...
Specifically he got the feeling that something was coming after the Bell of Saint Gersthal started chiming in his collection (in Necron stasis, which shouldn't have been able to happen), messing with the programs of his Tomb World, breaking a bunch of priceless and unique shit, ruining it with [[Lulz|leaking coolant]], as it rang thirteen times before ceasing. Trazyn, perhaps more befuddled than irate, but really quite put off, promptly headed off to the Celestial Orrery on Thanatos, having to explain having stolen ''their'' shit the last time he was there, just to see what the fuck was going on (but not before casting the bell into the webway, [[Troll|hoping it would be as much of a pain in the Eldar's ass as it was his]]). And what do you know, there was but the Crons' watching over the thing could do nothing about it cause they were just meant to watch over the thing, not play galactic peacekeepers (although they eventually let him in, the guards weren't happy that Trazyn was there, due to an incident where some priceless artifact mysteriously went missing the last time he visited). Thus Trazyn decided to take up the role as a savior for once (mostly because he was bored and wanted to try something other than grave-robbing), and find the source of the corruption, which happened to be the little boring world of Cadia.

Long story short, Trazyn went off to Cadia released some parts of his collection (most notably Inquisitor Greyfax, though that is mostly just because his old Pen Pal Valeria was apparently killed by another human), and helped the Imperial forces screw around with the Pylons. Which somewhat backfired to put it lightly, though not that it mattered much to him because he stopped caring about playing the hero role and figured that while he was around he could find something for his collection to commemorate such a historic moment. And while he was originally hoping to claim Abaddon for his collection, his second choice was no less impressive.

''Creed stands alone on the ruined surface of Cadia. He sees a metal giant in a scaled cloak in front of him, hand outstretched.''

''"Ursarkar E. [[Creed]] - This is not your end. Eternity Awaits"....''

His current activities are mostly unknown, but he's been tapping into his pet C'tan shard for information about the Great Rift. It's implied that he has something rather outre in mind as he doesn't want to close it but to enter it safely himself..

==Inner Sadness of Trazyn==

Despite being such a 'happy' guy Trazyn is clearly hiding many things from everyone. He laments just how stale Necron society has become, unable to make or appreciate art and music. Just like the Tomb Kings of Fantasy, Trazyn has realized that immortality and technology alone isn't enough to make life worth living

Trazyn's collection of artefacts and history is a way of him to cope with his loss of memories, of identity and a lost of purpose. That's true Grimdark there. While he likely stole them, Trazyn expresses genuine grief and outrage when Orikan destroys several historical pre-biotransference Necrontyr relics in Trazyn's galleries.

While he admires and wants to be a colleague to [[Orikan the Diviner|Orikan]], he can't help screwing him over (having untreated kleptomania isn't good for relationships) even when it would be disadvantageous for him and his people. Despite being a fictional alien-turned-machine, Trazyn shows just how easy and damning it can be to fall in the pitfalls of life and how it can be more depressing than death

== See Also ==

* [http://images.wikia.com/heman/images/b/bc/Skeletor.jpg Compare and contrast, comrades.]
* [http://youtu.be/jJh5PETGihs?t=10m16s Epic duel ahead.]
* [https://soundcloud.com/calvin-turner-606722642/trazyn-the-infinite An audio recording of his infamous letter.] N.B Lost in the warp, and we all know who to blame for that now don't we?
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVghX8opHJU The infamous robot magpie himself finally has a voice actor!]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT5mWEWTb6A Trazyn National Anthem]

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Xenos]]

[[Category: Necrons]]

{{Necrons-Characters}}

Trazyn the Infinite

2021-03-03T08:07:35Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2: /* Inner Sadness of Trazyn */

{{MattWard}}
{{Awesome}}
{{Heresy}}
[[File:Trazyn.jpg|300px|right|thumb|He's come to steal your shit! (Probably literally, if it's rare enough) And if you're (un)lucky, he might even steal you.]]
{{topquote|I welcome all... to a place in my carefully curated collection!|The kleptomaniac himself, presenting the Necron faction in Battlefleet Gothic Armada 2}}
{{topquote|I give my all to all I see, see? And all I see I give to me!|Huxley, Sesame Street villain}}

'''Trazyn the Infinite''', also known as '''Trollzyn the [[Tarpit]] Breaker''' and '''Trazyn the Grave Robber''', or Possibly Trazyn the shiny Stealer, is the best [[Necron]] Overlord/Phaeron (while ''technically'' his title is Overlord, he has his own Overlord subordinates and rule his own little empire like Phaeron). Basically what you'll get if you combined Doctor Doom, a [[Tomb King]], a [[Blood Ravens|Bloody Magpie]] and the Terminator, with a hint of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Trazyn the Infinite, ruler of the [[Tomb World]] named Solemence (which happens to be a Dyson Sphere powered by a [[C'tan]]), is a self-proclaimed preserver of histories, artifacts and events. In his possession are technologies and relics that are so valuable as to be priceless. Amongst his collection are the fabled wraithbone choir of Altansar, one of the preserved head of [[Sebastian Thor]], the ossified husk of an Enslaver and a suit of baroque power armour, complete with the Custodes who was still wearing it. This means that he is one of only two entities in this or any other universe that rivals the stealing power of the [[Blood Ravens]] (the other being the Deffskullz.) In such a dangerous galaxy, Trazyn is loath to go out and explore it himself, but with so many exquisite artifacts to see and catalogue, he cannot afford to miss out. As a result he will send out substitutes of himself to do his dirty work. On the battlefield this can become increasingly irritating, as killing what appears to be Trazyn may simply be a [[Lychguard]] or a Necron Lord. Meanwhile, somewhere nearby, the real Trazyn is busy smashing his way through his foes to get his metal hands on his latest acquisition.

(That's how the fluff handles it; the crunch rules imply that he simply takes over the body of another Lord, Lychguard, or [[Cryptek]]. He was there; you killed him; he just ran like the troll he is. [[Butthurt|Oh, and you didn't]] [[Alpha Legion|get Slay The Warlord by the way.]] <s>Just imagine this guy politely trolling with the voice of Terl from Battlefield Earth</s> he has a voice actor now via [[Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II]], [[Lulz|who actually sounds like a mechanical version of Terl]] (though he isn't voiced by John Travolta): "Oh, dear! What a wonderful contingent of [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Guardsmen!]] I shall thank you with all my heart, General, for this marvelous gift. Please tell them to strike a nice pose while I prepare a stasis grenade...")

/tg/ has gained a fondness for him, due to his thieving ways, his Doctor Doom-esque body doubles, and his polite yet [[Troll|trollish]] attitude, he is also known for using completely self-evident aliases, which nevertheless seem to work quite well. It is generally agreed that he is one of the only good things Matt Ward has ''ever'' put into the [[fluff]].

A war-torn city in the [[Ultramar]] system. The [[Ultramarines]], aided by an [[Imperial Guard]] regiment led by Lord Castellan Ursakar [[Creed]], prepare to face an [[Ork]] incursion in a final battle. The Orks are numerous, but the [[Imperium]] has the upper hand, just barely, as Lord Creed's tactical genius has proven invaluable. As the Orks begin their final assault on the city, the Ultramarines ready their defenses. Creed, ever oddly silent, gazes intently at a large flagpole in the center of town, watching through binocs as the Orks' charge is funneled towards the center of the city. Suddenly, as the Orks near the square, the tip of a [[Baneblade]]'s main gun can be seen coming around the flagpole. The great tank begins to emerge from behind the thin metal object, perfectly and impossibly concealed. It begins to move into its firing arc, and a great shout is heard from the [[Warboss]] down below, just barely carrying over the rest of the din. "'''CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-'''" Suddenly, the cry cuts off in confusion, as Creed spits out his cigar. Where the Baneblade once stood, there is air, thin air. Not a trace remains of the enormous tank. It has vanished completely. Then, gradually, a green, crackling, electrical rune appears hanging in the air where the Baneblade was. It extends gracefully, for its platonic geometric form. If Creed was given to poetry, he might even say it resembled a rose. But he knew better. A rage he had felt only once before began to boil deep within, and his cry shook the world as the Orkish tide began to hack his guardsmen and the Marines to pieces. "'''TRAAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYN!'''"

==From [[Matt Ward|Ward]] Himself==
"[[Bullshit|Trazyn's also no slouch in combat.]] Whenever his empathic obliterator kills an enemy, it has a chance to kill all other enemies of the same type in the same combat - perfect for Ork mobs. This isn't so useful against characters, but that's why Trazyn also carries a clutch of mindshackle scarabs - why kill an enemy when you can take over his mind and have him kill for you...?"oh wait nope, mss are now just a useful fear test. So now the only real use you'll find for him in a duel is whacking them with a stick.

==Letter to Inquisitor Valeria==
This is the (in)famous little piece of fluff that has made Trazyn so likable to /tg/, contrasting nicely with all the grim darkness around. Do note that it is unclear whether he's fucking nuts, indulging in some elaborate trolling or even both at once.

''Dear Lady, let me express my fulsome appreciation for your most generous gift. It is so very rare to discover another of my own kind that appreciates my work, therefore to find understanding amongst a member of another race is nothing short of a revelation. I realise that you briefly trod my galleries, but the fact that you spotted in so short a time that my Acabrius War collection was lacking three regiments of Catachan warriors reveals that you truly have a collector's eye for detail. And to send five regiments! Such generosity will allow me to weed out and replace a few of the more substandard pieces in my collection. If I might level a minor criticism, the instructions issued to your gift were manifestly not as clear as you thought, as most of them had to be forcibly restrained. Sadly it seems that the lower orders will always behave like an army of invasion, whether that be their purpose or not. However, this is a minor complaint and seems almost churlish under the circumstances, so please allow me to repay your gift with one of my own. Accompanying this message is the Hyperstone Maze, one of a series of Tesseract Labyrinths constructed at the height of the Charnovokh Dynasty. It is a trinket really, only of interest to scholars such as you and I, but I trust you will find it amusing; assuming you have the wit to escape its clutches, of course.''

It should be noted that an Inquisitor can actually use a Tesseract as a relic.

==The Infinite List of Dickings==
[[File:Trazyn2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Daww]]
Trazyn is universally regarded as a <strike>[[Eldrad|huge dick]]</strike> pretty fun guy to be around due to his <strike>[[Blood Ravens|rampant kleptomania]]</strike> erudition and wit. Here is a list of his <strike>crimes</strike> many-splendored accomplishments, compiled for the <strike>warning</strike> edification of /tg/.

* Killed five invading regiments of Catachans, then turned them into [[Wargame|miniatures for his collection.]]
** Sent [[Inquisitor Valeria]] fan mail (maybe, we can't tell if he was being sarcastic in the letter) attached to an armed tesseract labyrinth [[Blood Ravens|as a reward for "gifting" him said Catachan regiments.]] Being a true gentleman, when Valeria managed to unravel said tesseract labyrinth and use it 'safely', he took it with good grace and they became pen pals of sorts... [[Grimdark|But since no good deed stays unpunished]], as of Fall of Cadia Trazyn has revealed that while Valeria became his human waifu for some time she eventually got [[blam|BLAM'med]] for consorting with xenos, hence why he releases Greyfax the Angery instead of getting Valeria to tag along (Just as planned? How about Tau start summoning daemons for battle? <strike>And maybe Orks start building their own webway</strike>They already did it using superior gravitational corridors which don't need the warp during the War of the Beast.)
* Banned from the Necron throne world of Mandragora after trying to [[Ork|loot]] [[Imotekh the Stormlord|Imotekh's]] staff.
** [[Internet_Troll|Pops in whenever he feels like it anyway.]]
* Stole Sebastian Thor's [[wat|head]]. Maybe (There's like five other museums claiming to have his skeleton; the only reason Trazyn stands out is because his Thor head is preserved in a jar, rather than a skull).
* Took the World Spirit Shrine of Carnac, an [[Exodite]] world as a trophy for helping to conquer it.
* Uses other Necron Lords as body doubles [[Internet_Troll|without telling them.]]
* Told the [[Ultramarines|greatest amongst us all]] he was old pals with [[Roboute Guilliman|Rowboat Girlyman.]] Considering that one of the pokeballs he unleashed against Chaos at the Fall of Cadia was a bunch of Ultramarines fresh from the [[Great Scouring|aftermath of the Horus Heresy]], he might be telling the truth ("old pals" by his definition, of course).
** And then informed them that maybe [[Internet_Troll|he was going to take Papa Smurf, as he'd be better off with him than in the company of the Ultramarines.]]
*** And with Rowboat coming back, [[Yvraine|somehow]], for 40k End Times, we might actually get to see how the two know each other. If they actually do. There's every possibility that [[troll|Trollzyn was just lying]].
* <s>Has a fucking PRIMARCH stored at his pad, supposedly... Possibly Vulkan according to White Dwarf.</s> Technically it's a Primarch clone, but it's still a perfect copy of the pre-Heresy Fulgrim, courtesy of [[Fabius Bile]].
*Told [[Vulkan He'stan]] he had the Song of Entropy, luring the Salamanders into a 10-year war with the Necrons. At the end of it, Trazyn pretty much said "just kidding, I don't have the Song of Entropy," as he tried to steal the Spear of Vulkan. Kind of back fired when [[Vulkan He'stan]] decided to just give him the Spear. ''Tip'' first. He'stan was pretty pissed when he learned Trazyn just jumped into another body.
** Twice.
*Invaded the Imperial planet of Midgardia and nabbed a C'tan shard of Nyadra'zatha, despite [[Logan Grimnar]]'s attempts to stop him. It's notable that he pulled this off in Logan's own codex supplement, where most other battles in the book were a resounding Space Wolf victory. To be fair, Space Wolves destroying (and thus accidentally freeing) a C'tan shard would make them look like an assholes. I mean even more assholes than they already are.
**In retribution, Logan hunted him down to another planet, Vhaloth IV, and ended up kicking Imotekh's ass instead. ([[Just As Planned]]. The dick deserved it for hanging on to his staff anyway.)
* Captured an Ork warboss and the Deathwatch kill team that was hunting said warboss, and sat them in front of each other in his collection for all eternity. And he double-checked they were both still self-aware, just to feel them suffer.
* Caught a bunch of tech priests evacuating from the necron invasion of Magogue, and set them up in stasis as a monument to that planet's fall. Notable because he pulled it off in the Skitarii codex. Trazyn's apparently the go-to guy for being able to win outside of his own codex.
* May or may not be the one pulling the strings behind the events of [[Xenology]], as probably he won't have any problems impersonating a C'tan shard.
* Has been hanging out on Cadia for who knows how long as the "man of iron" which all but confirms the pylons are necrons made.
* <strike>Steals Creed himself after the fall of Cadia.</strike> Blundered into allowing Creed to infiltrate his collection.
* Steals Papa Smurfs' (The Ultramarine bloke that can't spell Robert properly) pillow from his lumber.
* Stole an Emperor's Children's gene-seed tithe ship containing thousands of progenoids.
* Traded it for the only perfect clone of [[Fulgrim]], thus dashing the only hope of the Third Legion rebuilding itself and becoming more than a bunch of depraved sick fucks.
* Planning to add to his collection all the stuff from [[Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II]], World Engine and Hiveships included!
* Has an agent in Middle Earth Shadow of War called the Trophy Hunter. How he got there is beyond this anon's mental capabilities
* Frees an AdMech Magos and a pair of Sororitas in the short story War in the Museum to deal with an escaped Lictor and Hive Tyrant. The Sororitas were supposed to be biological sisters frozen in their last moments fighting Tyranids, but one sister was dead and [[Grimdark|used as spare parts to fix up her surviving sister]]; the other Sororitas was a stand-in taken from Goge Vandire's Brides of the Emperor (the precursor of the SoB). Trazyn goes so far as to swear on his honor he will reunite them with their Lord and not put them back in the same exhibit if they accomplish their task. True to his word, he puts them in a different exhibit...facing another called 'The Beheading of Goge Vandire'. Oddly enough, Trazyn considers the magos as something of a friend and even sends the AdMech research packets on his behalf, and decided to keep the Magos in stasis with full awareness at the Magos's request. Seems he prefers to perform his computing in peace and quiet and does not mind being part of Trazyn's collection.
* Stole [[Gorkamorka]] for his Angelis display. From The Infinite and The Divine "Trukks and buggies howled corkscrews across the display, ripping across the desert shanty town built around the enormous idol of Gork – or Mork.
* Played a practical joke on [[Orikan the Diviner]] by unleashing a genestealer on him.
** Said genestealer survived the encounter and went on to infect and raise a cult on the planet which attacked a visiting naval battlegroup [[grimdark|leading to the planet being exterminatused]].
* Played another practical joke on [[Orikan the Diviner]] by unleashing a brood of catachan devils on him.
[[File:Bfg-2-trazyn.jpg|800px|center|thumb|A man of culture always enjoys a tour for his collection...]]

==Things on Trazyn's 'Must Have' List (and how to get some of them, perhaps.)==
[[File:TrazynAndDiomedes.jpg|thumb|right|300px|There can only be one true magpie.]]
* Old One Eye's lost eye (Hire Bile to vatgrow it)
* Kartoth the Bloodhunger, both so he can say he won the game as well as rip holes to go back in time for more collecting.
* [[Abaddon]]. No, really, that's (one of) the reason(s) he came to Cadia in the first place: he wants to add the Warmaster of Chaos to his collection! (Last seen near Vigilus, should team up with the Ultramarines since the Planet Killer is coming there)
* [[Saint Celestine]]. (Go read The ''Fall of [[Cadia]]'', this is not a joke! Also, not that hard, he just kill her, keeps the body while she reincarnates somewhere else)
* A lock of the Emperor's hair (Assuming it hasn't rotted away by the time he gets to Terra). (Again, can be vatgrown by Bile in exchange of.. something)
* <s>[[Magnus the Red|Magnus the Red's]] favourite eye.</s> Magnus has agreed to provide things for his collection in exchange for being left intact
* An 8th edition Sisters of Battle codex. (done)
** An 8th edition box set of plastic sisters. Yes, he's the reason the November 2019 set sold out so early.
*Anyone atheist in Age of Sigmar, if not then a dwarf from the Kharadron Overlords will suffice.
* The [[Sanguinor]] in a stasis field.
* <s>A living Tyranid zoo (no stuffed dolls for our old collector). Would be much easier to accomplish if 'Nids didn't try to keep the fuck away from Necrons and their worlds.</s> Never mind. He gave up on this one after his specimens broke out of their exhibit and nom-med half of Solemnace. He's currently attempting to redo it on another planet near Solemnace.
* One of each type of Eldar Aspect Warrior, arranged in complementing color order.
* Each [[Phoenix Lord]], including the fallen Ahra or Drazhar (just in case he's Ahra); bonus points for the originals. Otherwise, something from them, such as one of [[Asurmen]]'s twin-linked [[Shuriken Catapult]]s or a lock of [[Jain Zar]]'s hair (bonus points for getting things from all of their incarnations).
* A signed autograph from each Primarch. (Still asking [[Orikan the Diviner|Orikan]] for "access" to his time machine so he can get one from [[Ferrus Manus]], [[Horus]], [[Sanguinius]], and [[Konrad Curze]] since they're all presently busy being dead.)
* A signed autograph from each chaos god, preferably without stains or switcharoo.
* A sweet ride so he can cruise the galaxy looking for new junk.
* The [[Baneblade#Fortress of Arrogance|Fortress of Arrogance]], preferably with [[Commissar Yarrick]] as well.
* [[Sammael|Sammael's]] Jetbike.
* A [[Pauldron|shoulder pad]] from each space marine chapter (Pre-heresy legions and post-heresy chapters all together of course, going for the complete set!)
* A Space Marine from each of the first Legions (this collection would be easily finished if not for the fact that he can't find any marines from the two missing legions).
* The two missing legions.
* [[Mary Sue|Those meddling kids - and that stupid dog!]]
* <s>A painting of one of the Emprah, Tzeentch, Cegorach, and the Deceiver's card games.</s> Creed provided him a holovid of the game that got him banned. He is content with this, And believes that Creed should be unbanned
* A circus filled with nothing but Eldar Harlequins.
* The <s>school report and childhood items</s> first set of kid-sized slave shackles of Asdrubael Vect.
* Urien Rakarth's first torture kit.
* An Avatar of Khaine. He's probably killed one, given how Geedubs keeps jobbing them, but the fact that their remains melt away and reform on the Craftworld - similar to how Necrons phase out - means Trazyn hasn't gotten one yet.
* A garage filled with one of each type of the Imperial Guard's tanks.
*A Daughter of Khaine and a Khorne berzerker with Hemophobia side by side.
* A feather from Sanguinus's wings. (Dante has one in stasis)
* An Imperial Titan that has been CREEEEEEEDed.
** A snap shot of the look on Abaddon's face upon seeing aforementioned Titan in the middle of his battle line, shouting CREEEEEEEED
* Abbadon's arms. Creed hid them so well that even Trazyn is having trouble finding them.
* A matching pair of [[Angry Marine]] Powerfeet.
* A pair of a Sisters Of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties from each Order, stolen from their quarters while they are asleep. Surprisingly hard to pull off (fnar fnar), even for Trazyn.
* A set of [[Lelith Hesperax|Lelith Hesperax's]] combat attire after she's been in a fight. This is even harder to pull off than the Sisters of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties.
* One of the fingers from the Talon of Horus. (Will have to force-grip Abaddon very hard)
* Slaanesh's entire porn collection. While no planet is big enough to hold all that porn, that's what parallel dimensions are for!
* One of Ferrus Manus's hands. He isn't picky which.(Not sure if Vulkan completely destroyed it)
* An [[Imperial Knight]] from each house.
* The Panacea STC.
** And since [[Lady Malys]] got there first, anything cool she owns, as well as a selfie with her before and after she realizes he stole her stuff.
* The Eye of Horus. As in the ''actual'' Eye.(Again, Bile can make one)
* The [[Eye of Terror]] and everything in it.
* Commander [[Puretide]] and/or [[Farsight|all]] [[Shadowsun|of his]] [[Shas'O Kais|students]].
* A calm and rational [[World Eaters|World Eater]] marine.
* A clean and disease-free [[Death Guard]] marine.(Hello Nathaniel Garro)
* A [[Emperor's Children]] marine who shows restraint.(Hello Saul Tarvitz, maybe already got him that's why they never found the body?)
* <s>A live and fleshy non-sorcerer [[Thousand Sons|Thousand Son]] marine. (As of Ahriman: Unchanged, there was one of these, and as of Gathering Storm Yvraine made a dozen more before throwing them into the Warp)</s> Provided by [[Magnus The Red]] in exchange for a deck of cards
* <s>A [[Night Lords]] Marine that is actually friendly to be around.</s> Has also been provided by [[Magnus The Red]] in exchange for the same deck of cards.
* An atheist [[Word Bearers]] marine
* A [[Kharn|certain]] swell guy.
** A picture with said swell guy
* Remnants of the Inquisitorial acolyte who died of old age. Ones aged by a [[Hrud|Hrud's]] entropic field do not count.
* The Doomsday Clock from [[The Last Church]].
** <s>Also Uriah himself.</s> After finding out he’s a chaos worshiper he has changed his mind.
*The cure for the [[Red Thirst]].(Hello Rubicon Primaris, maybe)
**A photo of The Blood Angels' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them. (Bonus for [[Dante]]'s reaction with his mask off)
* The cure for the Curse of the Wulfen.(Hello again, Rubicon Primaris, maybe)
** A photo of The Space Wolves' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them. (Bonus of [[Logan Grimnar]] shaving his beard in shame)
* The right hands of [[Helbrecht]], [[Eldorath Starbane]] and anyone else who had their right hands cut off by Imotekh.
* At least one [[Jokaero]].(shouldn't be that difficult as even a Catachan team managed to got one during the Pandorax Campaign)
** And anything they make/modify.
* As many [[Catgirl|catgirls]] as possible.
** Along with a selfie with each of them.
*** And as many [[Kitsune|kitsunes]] as possible, along with selfies and a shrine to their name.
* Any 100% reliable information about Alpha Legion.
* Any 100% reliable information about Alfa Legion.
*A recording of an Idoneth Deepkin talking in a pirate accent.
* The Blood Ravens Armoury. Since most of the above was already "gifted" to the Chapter. Not to mention there are quite a few things listed here that may be in there in the first place
* A machine to control the [[Warp]] so he can create impossible things. (Either the Golden Throne or the Tuchulcha engine may do the trick)
* A complete and unblemished cosmetic kit 'gifted' by a [[Pretty Marines]]' Company Captain, still with a wrapping bow attached. (Getting one each from both Loyalist and Chaos Pretty Marines Captains would be even better!)
* The very [[Ethereal|Ethereals]] who united the [[Tau]] race back when they were limited to only their homeworld, or their bodies...or severed heads.
* One of each type of Imperial Assassin in the position they held before trying to kill him. This wouldn't be so problematic if it wasn't for the fact that he has yet to convince the Assassinorium to send a Culexus assassin against him.
* A 1st Edition copy of the [[Codex Astartes]] with Roboute Guilliman's autograph on the dust jacket. (Guilliman probably has one)
** A 1st Edition copy of the [[Lectitio Divinatus]] with Lorgar's signature on the dust jacket to sit directly opposite the Codex. (Again Guilliman, if you are not that picky in terms of what "1st edition" means)
* A recording of Warboss [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull]] famous: "Wez gonna Waagh!"speech.
* A prison capable of holding [[Cypher]], containing the man himself.
* <s>A STC detailing how to finally have enough Dakka</s>. '''*KRUMP* HERE...HERESESS...BLOODY 'ELL WHOTEVER DAT WORD IS YOU 'UMIES KEEP SAYIN' BEFORE Y'SHOOTS STUPIDER 'UMIES!'''
* <s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Warhammer Fantasy.</s> Done as he managed to get an STC of Steam with a Total Warhammer series warp-powered bunch of keys.
* <s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Lord of the Rings.</s> (Trazyn has now accomplished this according to some writefaggotry posted on fanfiction.net. Much nerd [[rage]] shall ensue. You have been warned.)
* <s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Wars.</s> (He has also accomplished this due to MORE Writefaggotry on Fanfiction.net.)
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Trek (Risky, considering the technologies in Star Trek, he just might actually end up as a collectible himself or be tracked back to his home dimension).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Mass Effect universe (Doable, but risky if he ever crosses paths with the Reapers).
* A TARDIS so he can learn the name of The Doctor (Riskier than Star Trek because of the technologies involved. Also, if anyone could track Trazyn back to his home dimension and thoroughly wreck his shit it'd be The Doctor).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Marvel Universe (main timeline).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the DC Universe (main timeline).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Halo universe ( dangerous because of Master Chief and his damn luck).
* The body of a Dwarf [[Slayer]] who died of old age.
* <s>All the NON-Grimdarkness of the 41st millennium in a bottle. So nothing in bottle then.</s> Already done.
* [[Temperus Maximus]]' Adamantium Cigar. Trazyn almost managed to loot this, but Temperus suddenly called an Orbital Strike on top of himself before this happened. Temperus' armor received minor scorch marks when the strike ended and Trazyn's body double was obliterated.
* One marine from each chapter of the cursed founding.
* A [[Death Korps of Krieg]] gas mask serial number 0000000000000000000000001.
* Names, addresses and personal phone numbers of the two unknown Primarchs.
* Cardinal Anton Fedelicus and his collected writings, which if introduced would have allowed for a very large degree of sexual freedom to have been integrated into the ecclesiarchical theology without increasing the risk of Slaaneshi corruption.
* A living [[Astral Knights|Astral Knight]].
* A "lucky" [[Lamenters]] marine (also count as one of the cursed founding collection).
* A working time travel device created by the [[Ordo Chronos]] ([[heresy|if it was ever made]]). The purpose for this device being -- you guessed it -- collect more artifacts from the past.
* His own body double in an alternative universe, if only he did not manage to turn into [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure|dimensional sponge]] in the process or lost to his alternative self in a collection contest.
* A lock of hair from each of the [[Tarkus|infamous]] [[Boreale|baldraven]] [[Diomedes|marines]].
* A "My First Assault Cannon" box set (Even better if unopened).
* A photo of the Emperor as a boy.
* As well as all of his photographic recordings scattered throughout time, whether it is rock scribble from the stone age or painting in the Renaissance Era or those Youtube video he has made back in 20XX.
* A [[Squat]].
* A living Boneripper (plenty of chance since Thanquol is still around in Age of Sigmar).
* The personal battle standard of [[Gabriel Angelos]] used at his ascension to chapter master.
** The Blood Ravens also want one of Trazyn's personal banners. Negotiations are ongoing.
* An Ogryn's 'Guardsman's Primer: Colouring Book Edition' and matching 'The Great Crayon Crusade' coloring set.
* The oldest dreadnought of each Space Marine chapter.
* [[Samus]]' armor.
* A body-pillow of [[Lolicron|Cathy]] (Original prefered)
* The Entire First and Second Seasons of "If The Emperor had a text-to-speech device" on blu-ray signed by Chapter Master Alfabusa.
* Chapter Master Alfabusa in a stasis chamber.
* Limited collectors edition of Half life 3 (After all, it's only been 38,000 years in development, maybe Valve will finish it before chaos/da WAAAAGH/the Tyranids/Imotekh's ego consumes the entire galaxy!)
* [[Sly Marbo|Sly Marbo's]] personal pistol, though not even Trazyn is willing to try and collect it.
* An actual ork sniper.
* A Butlin-Class Titan.
* The [[Men of Iron|Man of Iron]].
* <s>The Cigar Creed always chews but never smokes.</s> Acquired as part of the new Creed exhibit.
* The legs from an Imperial Sentinel (must have attachment for his own legs)
*A picture of Sigmar hugging Draconithon
* A list of names of <s>the fallen to wave at the Dark Angels</s> COMPLETELY UNRELATED TRAITOR MARINES THAT JUST LIKE WEARING BLACK AND RED AND WINGED SWORDS.
* A ham personally provided by the Ordo Draigo.
* A book borrowed from the black library with a selfie of him and Cegorach.
* A picture of himself before he turned to Necron. (just print his memories, he is an android, duh)
* The best pole dancer in the Commorragh in a stasis chamber (that was [[Yvraine]] at one point, so her).
* The best pole dancer out of all Slaanesh cultists in a stasis chamber.
* A photograph of a Cyclonic torpedo the moment it impacts the ground.
* A group photo of Thunder Warriors with Arik Taranis and the Emperor.
* An acknowledgement from GW that [[Malal]] does indeed exist.
* An actual affordable GW Warhammer 40k miniature from any faction.
* An undisputably good codex from any faction.
* [[Carlos McConnell]], or at least one of his catgirls, in a stasis chamber.
* A jar of [[Skub]].
* The book "[[Standard Template Construct]]" for dummies.
* Sensible [[Blood Angels]].
* Hairless [[Space Wolves]]. Being shaven doesn't count, the Marine has to be hairless naturally.
* A copy of Battletoads.
* The Statue of Liberty, shrunk to 10 feet size and taken from Nova Yourk hive of Merica.
* Blueprint of [[Angron]]'s Butcher's Nails.
* A WW2 Era Luger pistol, original.
* Enough Blood for the [[Khorne|Blood God]].
* <s>Enough Skulls for the Skull Throne.</s> THERE ARE NEVER ENOUGH SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE, LOYALIST SCUM!
* One of Roboute Guilliman's new [[Primaris Marines|Super Space Marines]].
* A Pokeball that can hold a C'tan.
* A living member of the Interex.
* A Picture of Eldrad and Vect trying to out-dick one another.
* An STC that has technology that will allow him to do some Dark Eldar Drugs.
* A video of Nemesor Zahndrekh putting on glasses and realizing that he is now a Skeleton Robot and the Other Necrontyr are not what they seemed to be
* An member of an Alien race the Imperium actually gets along with. (<s>Pretty damn impossible.</s> Also [[Yvraine]]; two birds, one stone)
* An Ork who can actually think. Word has it [[War of the Beast|he might need to go back in time for that...]]
* <s>DLC for Dawn of War III.</s> Got that on the same sale he got the keys for TW:WH.
* An Autograph from [[Nagash]].
* A video of Yarrick taking over the Orks. (<s>Only a Matter of time now</s> [[wat|It's mentioned in the 8E rulebook that the Orks and Humans on Armageddon formed an alliance to fight chaos, so this is pretty much canon for now.]])
* The Golden Throne. That means Trazyn is not allowed on Holy Terra.
* [[Belisarius Cawl]]. Bonus points if he collects the Alpha Primus as well.
* <s>Enough DAKKA.</s>'''WUT DID WE SAY 'BOUT DAT?'''
* The name and address of the Ork that keeps Dakka blocking him.
* An official GW/[[The Ninth Age]] tournament. Will require some dimensional traveling since the latter started distancing itself from being 9th Edition WHFB.
** An official WHFB tournament that uses [[Warhammer Armies Project]] rules.
* [[Farsight#The_Dawn_Blade|The Dawn Blade]].
* A clone of [[Fabius Bile]], not as an exhibit but just to make conversation with. He nearly got one if Fabius Bile didn't decide to trade him his Fulgrim clone instead.
* [[Lorgar|Lorgar's]] diary, the single largest source of [[heresy]] in the universe. He puts this one off due to the aura of discomfort that radiates from anything Lorgar has touched.
* A portal into an alternate past reality where GW doesn't constantly use the Eldar as fluffy punching bags, and where xenos factions actually get as much attention as [[Space Marine|GeeDub's poster boys.]]
* A pyrophobic [[Salamanders (Chapter)|Salamander]].
* The Emperor's text-to-speech device.
* The Emperor's left eye.
* [[Old Man Henderson|Old Man Henderson's]] gnomes.
* Old Man Henderson's player.
* All Nintendo World Championship cartridges, both regular and gold.
* One of those [[Noise Marine]] sonic guns that looks like a sweet guitar.
* A member of the Death Korps of Krieg with self-preservation instincts.
* A living [[Sensei]].
* The only known Platypus to achieve the rank of Inquisitor along with his arch-nemesis: a bumbling non-chaotic heretek pharmacist.
* A set of [[Rogue Trader]] era [[Beakie]] Armor.
*A picture of Gorkamorka turning into Gork and Mork
* The rest of the Blackstone Fortresses.
* [[Commissar Fuklaw|Commissar Fuklaw's]] cap.
* [[Cultist-chan]] in a sound-proof cell.
* A recording of Tzeentch saying [[JUST AS PLANNED]] in every known language (would've been done sooner, but Tzeentch keeps speaking in languages that he claims are created in the future or he might be making up, just to troll Trazyn).
* One of [[Dranon|Dranon's]] cigars.
* [[Ciaphas Cain]] HERO OF THE IMPERIUM's missing fingers.
* A sextape of Cain and Amberley.
* Two copies of Shadow War: Armageddon. The second one will be a backup 'Just in case' copy.
* Some [[Primaris Lieutenant|Primaris Lieutenants]]. There is so many right now nobody is gonna notice some of them go missing.
* Roboute's body pillow of Yvraine.
* Yvraine's vibrator that she got while on Ultramar.
* The [[Silent King]]'s Sanguinus mask.
* A "Miniature" of an Emperor Class Titan in regular 40k scale.
* Dio Brando with a ROAD ROLLER DAAAAA!!!
* Kitten's Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker deck.
* Kitten himself.
* A picture of Kitten and Shadowsun kissing.
* Shadowsun's bodysuit after a fight.
* [[Commissar Yarrick]]'s right arm
* Assholetep's robes. The only thing stopping is the fact that if Trazyn accomplished this, Assholetep would immediately assume it's Trazyn and wreck his collection, so Trazyn's put this on the backburner.
* Every single person who had edited this page. Don't! I'm edi--
* Some more paper and a pencil for more lists. And Lord Admiral Spire to complete his Imperial collection.
* All the Pokémons.
* A clear, accurate, unedited photograph of a Diglett's body.
* The official single extended version of the Tattered Sails Shanty signed by [[Luthor Harkon]].
* The Mona Lisa (will probably have to infiltrate the Imperial Palace).
* Evidence of [[Cypher]]'s true identity.
* A 1990s Holographic Charizard Pokémon Card.
* One Sergeant "Jinxie" Penlan, ideally in the process of tripping over something and preferably not somehow messing up half the collection because of it.
* And a partridge in a pear tree~
* An ork that doesn't want to fight
* A gretchin that's stronger than an ork
* One of the Artifacts of Vulkan.
*[[Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure|A Road Roller,Da.]]
* And some good Matt ward fluff. Besides himself. Permanently placed at the bottom of the list because even he has his limits.

==Ever-increasing Trazyn's aliases List==
*Arsène Lupin
*Pepe
*Bob The regular non-necron guardsman.
*Bob the Builder
*The Fat Controller
*Sir Toppham Hatt
*Every notable persons from your childhood
*Borris the generic soul-less warrior
*Phaeron Imothephek the Thunderboltlord.
*Onionkyr the Voyager.
*Nemesor Zahnpasta.
*The grinch
*Vanguard O'Brien.
*El Bandido Dickbag de la Muerte
*Trellsin the Singular.
*[https://youtu.be/v4Y4QBL5Fmg Bender][https://youtu.be/OWPfcEOr2Yg Bending Rodríguez]
*Necropimp
*The most fabulous Necron of them all (after he said this, Sanguinius appeared before him and told him that if he ever said the word fabulous again, he would steal everything he owns)
*Illuminor Spookyras.
*Notc'tan the Diviner.
*Sissy Rack the Loud Queen.
*Dio Brando/ZA WARUDO.
*Thanquol the (In)Competent.
*Marisa Kirisame
*Shas'O Wi A'bu.
*Inquisitor Emprah of Catachan.
*Anon Y. Mouse.
*Captain Inkoc Nito.
*Dirty Dan
*Pinhead Larry
*Winona Ryder
*The Tin White Douche
*Dean Isle.
*Kaz Miller.
*Mideer Laydee.
*Eliphas the inheritor.
*Commissar Hugh Mann.
*Korporal Dick Goesinzya.
*Canoness Ivanna Purgealot.
*High Scout Henrick Day-o-midis.
*Farsighter Loldrad Gretchinbane.
*Lord-sergeant Ultramarius Sicarius.
*Archservitor Robotnik Wilhelm.
*Warboss Ghozkull Grotstealer.
*Skitarius Ranger Alpha Stroheimus JJ-1337.
*Archon Kim Ke.
*Trashbin the incompetent
*Suede O'Niim.
*John Smith.
*Alan Smithee.
*Kyon.
*Ned Cron.
*Mouse M.D.
*Victor Domashev.
*Bernie Madoff
*Carmen Sandiego
*Lara Craft
*Master Thief
*Sir Welland Dowde
*High Admiral tankcommander Pascual.
*Techpriest 01110100 01110010 01100001 01111010 01111001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100110 01101001 01101110 01101001 01110100 01100101 00001010 .
*Gordon Freeman.
*Mr. Roboto.
*Nyzart the ending
*Nafqa.
*Sly Cooper
*The God emperor of Mankind.
*Mac Tonight.
*The G-man.
*Venom Snake.
*He-Man.
*Skeltor
*Iron Man.
*Albert Wesker
*Gabe Newell.
*SLYYYY MARBOOO!! (When Trazyn assumed this disguise, every necron in the segmentum had a Catachan Fang spontaneously appear in its skull and teleported to self repair, and the knife that appeared in Trazyn's hands had "I'll let you off this time" written on the grip."
*Big Boss Final
*Zharn the Bee Trainer
*Tray the Model Man
*[[matt_ward|Matt Ward's]] dignity
*BIg BobbyG.
*alpharius.
*not omegon.
*the London Jets
*pantheon of 40k (GW)
*Belisarius Cawl
*JOHN CENA!!!
*The Immortal Jod Emper of Space-skeletonkind
*Spartacus
*Danger Powers
*The Second Coming of Matt Ward
*Fresh Prince of Ultramar
*The King of Games
*Mr E. Man
*The real thief of the Primarchs
*Sister Superior Wendy
*Chaplin Hamburglar
*The Doctor
*Thief Khee'Bler
*Norm L. Pearson
*The Lord of the [[Squats]]
*<S>Waldo</s> Wally
*The God Emperor of Mankind
*Ol’ Funnybones
*T-8 Double Zero
*Systems model 101
*Hugh Mann
*The Necron emperor of Necronkind
*The next door neighbour who is a hoarder
* YOU THIEVING BASTARD!
*Commander Griefouz
*Our Lord and Saviour
*Generic Robot #3775123
*Trashy the Incontinent
*Jimmy Neuron
*Lieutenant Crunch
*Mor'Dakka
*Alice Turning
*Shiro The Black
*Kuro The White
*Pha'Keen Weeb
*Fabricator General ES-7C
*High Lord Servitus Tenticulus Corpuscori
*Fleet Admiral Squatbar
*Jabba Da Pump
*Canoness Phat As'h
*Sister Jhail Bate
*Inquisitor Bigideas
*Huxley
*Sigmar Freudian
*Dr.Ankh Scotchman
*Machine Spirit R2-D2
*Clifford The Big Red Murder Beast
*Big Mac
*Chaplain Charles Chaplin
*Larry The Cable Guy
*NVIDIA GeForce GTX 970 4GB GDDR5 PCI Express 3.0 Graphics Card
*Bed Bath and Beyond Store Manager
*Rick Sanchez
*Morty Sanchez
*Stupid fucking robot that keeps stealing my shit, god damn i hate this guy

==Fall of Cadia==
Oddly enough, it appears that Trazyn decided to 'aid' the Imperium in their defense of Cadia (he decided that after 60 million years it would be interesting to play the hero for once). He knows the secrets of the Pylons on Cadia, and he even releases Imperium people from his collection (represented in game by letting you deep strike units, if you take Trazyn in your Imperium army). What a great guy giving up his collection to have more space for other exotic exhibits...
Specifically he got the feeling that something was coming after the Bell of Saint Gersthal started chiming in his collection (in Necron stasis, which shouldn't have been able to happen), messing with the programs of his Tomb World, breaking a bunch of priceless and unique shit, ruining it with [[Lulz|leaking coolant]], as it rang thirteen times before ceasing. Trazyn, perhaps more befuddled than irate, but really quite put off, promptly headed off to the Celestial Orrery on Thanatos, having to explain having stolen ''their'' shit the last time he was there, just to see what the fuck was going on (but not before casting the bell into the webway, [[Troll|hoping it would be as much of a pain in the Eldar's ass as it was his]]). And what do you know, there was but the Crons' watching over the thing could do nothing about it cause they were just meant to watch over the thing, not play galactic peacekeepers (although they eventually let him in, the guards weren't happy that Trazyn was there, due to an incident where some priceless artifact mysteriously went missing the last time he visited). Thus Trazyn decided to take up the role as a savior for once (mostly because he was bored and wanted to try something other than grave-robbing), and find the source of the corruption, which happened to be the little boring world of Cadia.

Long story short, Trazyn went off to Cadia released some parts of his collection (most notably Inquisitor Greyfax, though that is mostly just because his old Pen Pal Valeria was apparently killed by another human), and helped the Imperial forces screw around with the Pylons. Which somewhat backfired to put it lightly, though not that it mattered much to him because he stopped caring about playing the hero role and figured that while he was around he could find something for his collection to commemorate such a historic moment. And while he was originally hoping to claim Abaddon for his collection, his second choice was no less impressive.

''Creed stands alone on the ruined surface of Cadia. He sees a metal giant in a scaled cloak in front of him, hand outstretched.''

''"Ursarkar E. [[Creed]] - This is not your end. Eternity Awaits"....''

His current activities are mostly unknown, but he's been tapping into his pet C'tan shard for information about the Great Rift. It's implied that he has something rather outre in mind as he doesn't want to close it but to enter it safely himself..

==Inner Sadness of Trazyn==

Despite being such a 'happy' guy Trazyn is clearly hiding many things from everyone. He laments just how stale Necron society has become, unable to make or appreciate art and music. Just like the Tomb Kings of Fantasy, Trazyn has realized that immortality and technology alone isn't enough to make life worth living

Trazyn's collection of artefacts and history is a way of him to cope with his loss of memories, of identity and a lost of purpose. That's true Grimdark there. While he likely stole them, Trazyn expresses genuine grief and outrage when Orikan destroys several historical pre-biotransference Necrontyr relics in Trazyn's galleries.

While he admires and wants to be a colleague to [[Orikan the Diviner|Orikan]], he can't help screwing him over (having kleptomania isn't good for relationships) even when it would be disadvantageous for him and his people. Despite being a fictional alien-turned-machine, Trazyn shows just how easy and damning it can be to fall in the pitfalls of life and how it can be more depressing than death

== See Also ==

* [http://images.wikia.com/heman/images/b/bc/Skeletor.jpg Compare and contrast, comrades.]
* [http://youtu.be/jJh5PETGihs?t=10m16s Epic duel ahead.]
* [https://soundcloud.com/calvin-turner-606722642/trazyn-the-infinite An audio recording of his infamous letter.] N.B Lost in the warp, and we all know who to blame for that now don't we?
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVghX8opHJU The infamous robot magpie himself finally has a voice actor!]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT5mWEWTb6A Trazyn National Anthem]

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Xenos]]

[[Category: Necrons]]

{{Necrons-Characters}}

Catachan Jungle Fighters

2021-03-03T07:51:23Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2: /* Catachan: A very, very, very, very, very shitty place to live */

[[File:26405 sm-2nd Edition, Artwork, Catachan, Copyright Games Workshop, Imperial Guard, Retro Review.jpg|300px|thumb|right|They're kind of like Vietnam War-esque Diet [[Space Marines]] that bench trees and sweat hammers.]]
[[File:CatachanJungleFighters.jpg|300px|thumb|left|This man's knife is as big as his thigh, and his arms are the size of ''your'' thigh. Clearly not a knife to be screwed with. ]]
{{Topquote|War is in your blood. Don't fight it. You didn't kill for your country. You killed for yourself. The gods are never gonna make that go away. When you're pushed, killing's is easy as breathing.|'''Rambo''', Rambo IV}}

The '''Catachan Jungle Fighters''' (also known in the bodybuilding industry as the ABhumans and Diet [[Spess mehreen]]s) are a [[Imperial Guard Regiment|Regiment]] of the [[Imperial Guard]] from the [[Death World]] of Death Worlds, [[Catachan]] (pronounced ''cata-can''). They are mainly noted for having what are quite possibly the largest balls in the entire [[Imperium]], as Catachan is basically [[Death World|Hell]] and pretty much everything can kill you, including the goddamn flowers. Every animal is carnivorous and/or poisonous, with all carnivores hunting and devouring their smaller counterparts. Basically the [[Imperial Guard]]'s version of [[Marbo|Rambo]]/Schwarzenegger/Chuck Norris hybrids, super-survivalists based on the US Green Berets/Marines of the Vietnam War and/or British Royal Marines Commandos. They are the toughest motherfuckers in town who are so ripped some believe they are a race of [[Abhuman|abhumans]]; they are in fact so muscled they can wear flimsy tanktops to show off their muscle and still get the same grade of protection as a [[Cadia|Cadian Shock Trooper]] in full armor, and the most RIPPED of them can get the same degree of protection as Carapace armor from their ROCK HARD ABS.

Keep in mind that flak armor can stop ''lasers'' and carapace armor can block ''bolter shells from Space Marines''. Wonder why the Emprah didn't create a Space Marine chapter out of these badasses... Oh yes, because Marines are forbidden to command armies of mortals, Chapter Worlds are freed from Imperial Tithe, AND Munitorium is sane enough not to lose the source of guys like [[Sly Marbo]].

To make them even more badass, Catachans were later confirmed to be physically and mentally superior to '''ANY''' normal human; basically, generations of breeding only the strongest and most swole badasses has resulted in these guys getting a free genetic upgrade... truly mini-spess mehreens. The swoleness is so real, that Catachans are nicknamed "Baby [[Ogryn]]s" by other guardsmen, although not usually to their faces, as they would then usually end up getting the beating of their lifetime or just outright killed. So, basically they’re an entire world of Hardened Veteran Guardsmen who themselves are probably the only Guardsmen the Catachan can actually respect. Though, amazingly, these ballbreakers don’t let their abilities go to their heads and are largely respected and liked in the Imperial Guard.

A Catachan's favorite weapon is his trusty, simple, utilitarian and old-fashioned knife. If you listen to a Catachan then you'd start to wonder why the Imperium bothers with power swords and nemesis force halberds if steel sharpened on a stone is so good. Some of the various lies told by Catachans include: these knives, which every man and woman and child on the planet has made themselves, are prized throughout the galaxy even more so than the "fancy" and overrated chainswords that take too much maintenance, break often, would probably jam in Catachan flora, and can't be used for hunting because the lubricant would soil the meat. Orks absolutely love these guys - any respectable Ork would trade a chainsword or chop off his own arm to trade for their knives. Especially so for their biggest, more a sword really than a knife - its renown among da Orks is known as "Da Cutta". In return, a Catachan would rather give up his knife arm than his knife. Other favoured weapons amongst Catachans are the Flamer/Heavy Flamer, Sniper Rifle, Shotgun, and Demolition Charge. Using a Heavy Flamer in dense foliage is regarded as both safe and manly by the Catachans, who are balls-out rock hard.

Catachans don't like [[Commissars]] that much, mostly considering them to be arrogant, dolled-up pussies. Usually most commissars end up "accidentally" walking into a Catachan trap (aka their knives and lasbolts) or "disappear" in different ways. The one individual to escape from this is [[Colonel Greiss]], by merit of being such a balls-out hardcore motherfucker that the Catachans could not help to respect him. Along with the Cadians they're the last kind of Guardsmen who you can buy GW made plastic models for from the source; for everyone else you either go third party or buy from Forgeworld (if they're the Death Korps anyway. Though it's not too hard to use the Death Korps to stand in for the Steel Legion), and while this may sound great; it's worth remembering that Catachan's models are... pretty infamously ugly (although this has more to do with GW's atrocious studio painting back in 1989, compared to other models from that time they're actually quite detailed and dynamic). With Chenkov and Al'rahem's removal they're also the only source of non-Cadian or Commissariat special characters in the codex.

But its not just prissies that Catachans have been known to have issues with (They use the words "Cadian" and "Mordian" as insults, basically meaning uptight pussies. Though, probably more like “brainwashed toy soldiers” than actual cowards.), even tough n' gruff regiments like the [[Armageddon Ork Hunters]] have been known to have problems with them. This is due to the fact that 3 Catachan regiments were sent by badass [[Yarrick]] himself to help the Ork Hunters during the Third War of Armageddon, and ended up being better at killing Orks than the actual ORK HUNTERS. Apparently the night sky around the Ork Hunter's Cerberus Base was almost permanently lit with forest fires, and Orks could be heard screaming in every direction as the Catachans did their thaang. This obviously caused some jealousy with the Ork Hunters, and a bitter rivalry has existed ever since.

And, to top it all off, while everyone else was shitting their Munitorum-issued breeches when the Cicatrix Maledictum was expanding, the Catachans were busy kicking Chaos ass off their planet after it was exposed to a full scale invasion. Meanwhile other regiments like the [[Mordian Iron Guard]] ended up <s>losing their worlds and getting raped by Tzeentchian Daemons</s> needing Astartes and/or space elves to save their worlds. Upon reaching Catachan and discovering that the natives had already wiped out the invasion, the Indomitus Crusade simply made a pitstop to gain even more [[Imperial Guard|fuel units of awesome]] than they had when they left Terra to retake all the overrun precious space.

With how batshit insane and horrific everything was during the Age of Strife, it seems highly likely that the Catachan Jungle Fighters are a good example of the average human during the Great Crusade. Which would also explain why normies were able to do things like stalemate entire Space Marine Legions during the Horus Heresy and why hordes of daemons bum-rushing them didn't stop faze them. Remember that Space Marines were created due to the extremes of environment and combat on most worlds the Imperium liberated/conquered. That says a lot about the people there. And Holy Terra was basically a techno-horror equivalent of Catachan before unification was complete. Not as deadly (or just had a large enough starting population), but definitely an extreme in survival and filled with technological monstrosities from nightmares, mutants lurking in the shadows, and daemons doing their thing. Oh, and witches.

==Catachan Devils==
[[File:WH Faces 1 (1).jpg|280px|right|thumb|"If it bleeds, we can kill it."- Dutch, Predator]]
Yeah, yeah, we know that Catachan has a big scary monster called this, but the elite of the already elite Jungle Fighters are also known as Catachan Devils, and form into units known as '''Catachan Devil Squads'''. These are the Swole-Kings, the baddest of the bad, the best Rambos on a planet full of Rambos. These elite warriors are basically specialists, masters of virtually every style of warfare, sent into the most dangerous of situations to perform raids, sabotage enemy war efforts and generally fuck up whatever is unfortunate to come their way. Their esteemed ranks include a man who crushed a Tyranid Ravener's neck with his biceps, and a dude who can take on entire armies. Don't know who i'm talking about? Then read on! (also, what's wrong with you?)

These guys were also a unit in DOW 2's Retribution DLC, they quickly became renowned amongst players as "Anti-Everything Sqauds", as they were capable of fucking up virtually any infantry and light vehicle unit if used correctly. They also had a badass voice actor who spouted out a shit ton of 80's action movie quotes, whilst sounding as if he drank gasoline and ate matches every day of his life.

==Catachan: A ''very, very, very, very, very'' shitty place to live==
[[File:Catachan Scout.jpg|300px|thumb|right|There are women with the Catachan Jungle Fighters, and they're even tougher than their male counterparts, since they have to raise the bastards!]]
{{Topquote|Out there beyond that fence every living thing that crawls, flies, or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubes.|[[Avatar|Colonel Miles Quaritch]] }}

If you think it sucks where you live... well, you know absolutely nothing. Here are just a few reasons why Catachan is the last place in the entire galaxy outside the [[Warp]] or [[Commorragh|Comorragh]] you would (or should) visit. It is canonically stated as being the worst death world in the '''ENTIRE''' Imperium, nudging out even the likes of Fenris and Cretacia... pussies:

*Humanity is near the '''BOTTOM''' of the food chain.
*Half of the babies are ''eaten violently'' before they are three.
*Half of those survivors are then eaten before they are ten, so you have a 1/4 chance of survival to adulthood.
*You have to be a deadly fighter by the time most humans have learned to spell
*Every living thing on the planet is poisonous, carnivorous, or both. Even the plants, like the Brainleaf that takes over the minds of anyone that comes into contact with its leaves (which it can shoot several yards away), and the Spiker, which turns anyone who is pricked by one of its spines into another Spiker.
*Agriculture is impossible on Catachan's soil. As a result all your food either comes off-world or from whatever animals the hunting party managed to subdue. Do note that because every animal on Catachan is designed to kill, any non-venomous creature you meet will either be a powerful warrior hunter beyond reason or cunningly brutal predator, so dinner is more likely to be the diner when bringing them down.
*Most predators on Catachan aren't just giant monsters like you'd find on [[Space Wolves|Fenris]] or [[Flesh Tearers|Cretacia]]. That would just be too easy. Many of Catachan's most lethal killers are small and seemingly harmless, so they will almost certainly kill you before you even see them. An example of this are the Heretic Ants (named because they start by eating away at men's soles) and the Catachan Barking Toad, which explodes into a cloud of absurdly lethal poison when startled that kills everything within a one kilometer radius- including the toad itself. If that isn't enough, even Power Armour can't protect you. In fact, no known armour can prevent the toads explosion from reducing you and everything else to a pile of steaming goop.
*There is so much dense jungle and so many deadly animals that Catachan does not need a planetary defense system, as the wildlife scares off the Tyranids and the Orks(who actually live there, but try to escape this hellhole as fast as possible). Only Hardcore Khornate Chaos Space Marines were <strike>brave</strike> mad enough to ''attack'' Catachan some time after Great Rift opening, and if you asked them why, they would have said: "Why the fuck not? This planet is fucking amazing for us." Needless to say, all of them feed Catachan's analogue of worms now. The effectiveness of Catachan's ecosystem is ''so'' good that it and the Catachan Jungle Fighters on the planet managed to repel a full-fledged daemon invasion ''when they were caught directly in the middle of the Great Rift''. Yes, not even the reality-bending bullshit of the Warp can stop Catachan and the Devils.
*Some of its wildlife is so deadly, that they have been released on worlds just to prevent invasion. (With hilariously predictable results; Ie: Infestations, killing the poor bastards who were already living there)
*You have to burn the jungle away from your village with a flamethrower at least once a day.
*The planet's major export is soldiers. No, wait. The planet's ''only'' export is soldiers.
*You live at several times Earth's gravity. But it's not THAT many times, or the Catachan people would be a good deal shorter, yet for some reason they are taller than most humans despite having no [[Space Marines|biological modifications]] or [[Adeptus Mechanicus|mechanical modifications]]. That we know of. Perhaps the original colonists (which was likely a crash landing or penal colony) had gene mods. Maybe even crafted from the fauna of Catachan itself...
*Or in other words: Living on Catachan is like living perpetually in the first stages of a [[Tyranid]] invasion. In fact, some Magos Biologi have theorized that some of the wildlife (such as the Catachan Devils- monstrous half-scorpion half-centipede horrors that are capable of tearing apart tanks on their own) may have actually been Tyranid bio-forms that were separated from the Hive Mind and went feral in the distant past. In an issue of White Dwarf, Games Workshop even had the Catachan Devil as a Tyranid unit.

==Positive side==
[[File:Catachanofficer.jpg|300px|thumb|right|[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EISFTCLB3nw "When I joined the Corps, we didn't have any fancy-shmancy tanks. We had sticks! Two sticks, and a rock for the whole platoon - and we had to share the rock! Buck up, boy, you're one very lucky Marine!"] - Sergeant Major Avery Johnson]]
There are, however, some positives that balance out all of the bad, bad things about being a guardsman from Catachan. Assuming you live long enough to enjoy them.

*Your muscles will be so thick that you count as having flak armor, even without a shirt on. If you wax your chest and liberally apply oil, it acts similarly to Space Marine armour. Only Catachan veterans know why this works. (it's because almost everything will slide off your abs up to and including battlecannon shells)
*Commissars seem about as intimidating as a grot compared to the horrors you've grown up with.
*You get to kill Commissars
*You are so badass that you use the terms "Cadian" and "Mordian" as an insult.
*You're able to kill [[Orks]] with your bare hands. If that doesn't work, you can use the FUCKHUEG knife you <strike>get</strike> make growing up.
*You might be led by [[Colonel "Iron Hand" Straken|Colonel "I ate a Miral landshark for breakfast" Straken]].
*You might also be led by [[Gunnery Sergeant "Stonetooth" Harker|Gunnery Sergeant "I headlock Tyranid Raveners to death" Harker]].
*You might get surprise help from [[Arden|Trooper "I killed twenty three Orks in one fight with a knife" Arden]]
*You can arm-wrestle a goddamn [[ork]].
*After all you went through growing up on your homeworld, most of the hardships of being in the Imperial Guard will be a joke to you. To a point. There are some enemies even Catachan can’t prepare you for facing. Physically, but mentally you’ll be golden.
*You can make Hollywood Action Heroes look like Justin Bieber by comparison.
*You are better at killing Orks than soldiers who actually specialise in killing Orks.
*It's very easy to get laid(if you can beat the woman in a fight that is and manly tomboy muscle chicks that is); there'd have to be a lot of screwing to keep the human population up on a place like this (only drawback is the competition for a partner would be high and the 80% of the ladies are butter faced roid ragers). If you [[Musclegirl|like muscles]], you'll like this place. Normally you’d think they would keep the women safe because no shit. But Catachan is so dangerous even that isn’t really an option. Well, shit.
*Fuckhuge Sword-knife
*[[Sly Marbo]]

==Also see==
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ-EOg38t1o Catachan Guardsmen dealing with pesky Eldar]

{{40k-Imperial-Regiments}}

Dark Eldar

2021-03-03T07:48:41Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2: /* COMMORRAGH WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS */

{{Heresy}}
[[Image:Dark_Eldar_Symbol.png‎|center]]
[[Image:Dark Eldar Raid Colored by MajesticChicken.jpg|right|thumb|600px|Mercy? Interesting word, I always wanted to know its meaning.]]
{{Topquote|Cruel people are busy all the time, as if to find justification for the cruelty of their dealings.|Leo Tolstoy}}
{{Topquote|What we were after now was the old surprise visit. That was a real kick, and good for laughs and lashings of the old ultraviolent.|Alex - A Clockwork Orange}}
{{Topquote|Last call for morals! Better cover your drink! Sodom and Gomorrah’d! Let it pour down the sink!|”Front Street” by Will Wood and the Tapeworms (also known as the national anthem for [[Commorragh]])}}

The '''Dark Eldar''' (also known as the '''Drukhari''', cuz trademark reasons) are the villainous, Extra [[Grimdark]], and more BDSM obsessed counterparts of the [[Eldar]], who followed the horrific depravity that saw the Eldar Empire destroyed. Continuing such lovely traditions as mutilation for it's own sake, creative variations of rape, and dedicated polysubstance abuse constitute the Dark Eldar's claim to be the "true" and "traditionalist" Eldar, while disparaging their Craftworld and Exodite kin as having abandoned their grimdark elfiness because said grimdark elfiness caused, you know, the whole [[Fall of the Eldar|goatse-in-the-fabric-of-the-galaxy thing.]] They kind of have a point, but given how they have to suppress their innate psychic natures, lacking an anchor of a world spirit, spirit stone, or Creepy Clown God, and while the Creepy Rape God is trying to nom their soul-stuff they get it back by doing horrible things to others. And each other. And themselves. Truthfully, all of the elfy branches have deviated in their own ways after the Fall, but only the Dark Eldar do so by way of doing even more of the depraved shit that caused the Fall in the first place. So there's something to be said for them being traditionalists, after all; His Grand Spikiness [[Asdrubael Vect]] is hinted at having been around for the last big [[Anal circumference|blowout]] [[Eye of Terror|party]], and Commorragh's [[Urien Rakarth|Chief Surgeon]] is confirmed to have been present for it.

They get away with this in part by living in the byzantine port city [[Commorragh]] in the [[Webway]], spiriting out from the shadows on occasion to take slaves and to commit unspeakable atrocities on whoever they capture. Particularly when they are outside the Webway, they're in constant danger from [[Slaanesh|"She Who Thirsts"]] unless they go on and on in a self-reinforcing, vicious cycle of debauchery. They're the [[Honsou|sickest fucks]] in all of [[Warhammer 40,000]], which is a hell of an accomplishment, even for [[Slaanesh|the literal god of pleasure and excess]]. Their lives revolve around sadistic torture, making them a sort of cross between the Cenobites from Hellraiser and the Reavers from Firefly. They are mainly pirates, though sometimes hire themselves out as mercenaries before they inevitably betray their employers.

Surprisingly, Dark Eldar draw a lot of inspiration from the Fair Folk - not the pussy Disney pixi-fairies, but the [[World of Darkness]]-style inhumanly beautiful monsters that make humans suffer just for their own amusement, kidnap children to turn them into pets/slaves, and run the Wild Hunt that kill maim and rape everything in its wake, vanishing without a trace at dawn. Commonly derided for being the biggest Edge-Lords in the galaxy (or "scene-kid" Eldar), Dark Eldar come across as the only race that's actively trying to ''one-up'' Chaos for title of the universe's most grimdark faction.

For their fantasy counterparts see [[Druchii]].

==History==
The Eldar, after the [[FATAL|disaster]] that caused [[Slaanesh]] and [[Eye of Terror|turned their empire into the universe's biggest Goatse.cx reference]], destroying their race and [[grimdark|killing 90% or so of their population outright]], were a dying race. Slaanesh was devouring their souls like Eldar McNuggets, and it was only through ascetic mysticism and use of Soulstones that the Eldar could avoid getting vored by She Who Thirsts. Conventional wisdom was that these Eldar only survived on craftworlds and the maiden worlds that the Eldar had colonized before the fall, and some of these still fell into genocidal madness (the Blood Angels and Ordo Sinister were needed to destroy one such Craftworld).

[[Dawn of War|Conventional wisdom]], of course, [[C.S.Goto|means little in the 40K universe]]. Whilst most of the Eldar were mass-raped to death by Slaanesh when their falling into depraved cycles of decadence reached critical mass and caused a Chaos god to be born, a few of them survived because they were in parts of the Webway (a portal network that the Eldar use for transportation). They escaped with no real ill-effects, or so they thought. In reality, Slaanesh was slowly nomming their souls just like she does every Eldar without a Soulstone - however, they found that by [[Grimdark|continuing to engage in rampant hedonism and by torturing and inflicting pain and anguish on other creatures would reduce or even reverse the effects of Slaanesh's hold on them]], forcing them to seek out and capture, kill, and torment the "lesser" races of the galaxy in order to satiate themselves and stave off their doom. Which actually seems to be working out pretty well for those deldar who are sick enough fucks, because they wind up being more or less immortal.

Sadistic and psychotic to the point of making your average [[Chaos Space Marines|Chaos Marine]] look like hippies in contrast, hopped up on cocktails of combat stimulant drugs, and armed predominantly with weapons and equipment that cause [[Indrick Boreale|unspeakable immeasurable agony]] in those they go after, the Dark Eldar are easily the most depraved and vicious race the 41st millennium has. Hated by literally every single faction in the 41st millennium, the Dark Eldar are perhaps the only race with [[Anal circumference|bigger assholes]] than [[Eldrad]], though in spite of this, unlike their sissy counterparts, the Dark Eldar are hated much less by the playerbase - presumably because their army actually takes some brains to use and isn't a giant bunch of status-quo-defending [[Eldar|losers]]. Well, that and its implied they use [[/d/|sexual torture]] along with the normal kind.

In battle, Dark Eldar center around hit-and-run tactics, dealing huge damage and moving fast; few of their units can really take much abuse, making them even more fragile than their less edgy counterparts. Their standard infantry armor is identical to that of a Guardian (not terribly good), their vehicles are predominantly lightly-armored transport and attack craft that can be brought down by anti-infantry gunfire, and the armor on a typical Wych or Grotesque is no tougher than the ramshackle metal plating favored by Orks, but without the whole "I believe this armor will protect me, which is why it does" and at absolute best will cover only nipples and vulva, meaning that it would take considerable skill (and a somewhat sadistic shooter) to bounce a round off of their 'armour'. Suffice to say, they are extremely fragile and metaphorically half-naked in battle (literally if female), and getting the most out of them takes skill and patience that is rarely-seen on [[/tg/]]; whilst most fa/tg/uys will openly mock your average Eldar player, they will give pause and show some respect to a Dark Eldar player worth their salt.

The Dark Eldar are known for the ''excessive'' amount of [[Faptau|fapping]] [[Heresy|material]] involved with them, and they are the subject of thousands of sexual fantasies by desperate masochistic teenagers and middle aged neckbeards incapable of handling [[Female Space Marines|real women]]. They did, after all, kind of rape/drug/kill/etc themselves into oblivion, which tends to lend itself towards certain excessive abuses. They are also known for having some of the most fucking awesome-looking models on the tabletop, even if the armor of half of what they field will suffer instant critical existence failure at the hands of your typical [[Space Marine]]. This is pretty standard for all Xenos though.

==Codex Update==
[[File:Dark_Eldar_Safe.jpg|thumb|right|1998-2010 - twelve years of codex blue balls]]
The Dark Eldar, historically, have long been considered the faction for professionals because the army was perceived as being very difficult to use correctly. Their units, while generally quite fast, were almost uniformly fragile; this meant that the army was very intolerant of mistakes on the tabletop. Consequently they were easily the ''least'' played faction in 40k. Nearly 12 years passed before a codex update - but finally, in 2010, [[Games Workshop|GW]] decided to throw Dark Eldar players a much-needed bone.

Sweet [[Emperor|Jesus]], talk about buffs. The new 5th edition Codex changed very little fluff-wise, but the Dark Eldar gained substantial staying power and could actually field a reasonably <s>tough</s> hard-hitting army. The Power from Pain rule made them tougher as they scored kills, and the army also had a lot of potential for being much more forgiving of mistakes (previously it was a case of either steamrolling foes or getting curb-stomped). Lots of new options and extensive access to poisoned range weapons made them extremely versatile - as well as the bane of Tyranid players everywhere.

The 7th edition Codex was a mixed bag, with some serious nerfs. On the downside: Vect, Sliscus, Malys, Decapitator and Baron are no longer playable, though most of them are still mentioned in the fluff. Flickerfields have disappeared from all vehicles except Venoms, and Wyches somehow got ''even'' worse by losing haywire grenades and their gladiator weapons just becoming variants on re-rolling. On the upside, Power From Pain became something that happened to the whole army with the bonuses stacking each turn, rather than having to make mediocre units kill things in order to become useful. Mandrakes actually became half-decent (though still vastly inferior to Incubi & Trueborn), Grotesques no longer exploded when left alone, Talos & Chronos engines came in squads, and Scourges became able to spam more toys.

As of 8th Edition the Dark Eldar have been renamed the 'Drukhari' for copyright reasons. Like most armies in this edition they have their own equivalent of Chapter Tactics, Toughness on vehicles, and varying movement rates. All of these elements are considerable improvements compared to the previous editions. Dark Eldar armies can also gain extra CP for bringing multiple smaller detachments; combine this with the considerable buffs on wyches and Mandrakes, and you've got an army that has the potential to become more popular than ever before! They are still a "glass cannon" army, but are way more forgiving and benefit from both aggressive and conservative playstyles.

==The Dark Eldar Themselves==
[[Image:1287692229240.jpg|thumb|right|A lot like this, really.]]
{{topquote|I came to bring the pain, hardcore from the brain/Let's go inside my astral plane.|Tupac Shakur, Archon of the Wu Tang Kabal}}

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8tvBUfanu0]''''The fall of the eldar to present drukhari''''

The story of the Dark Eldar's fall and their need to inflict pain and horror in order to live - as well as elaboration on their kabalistic practices - have gone a long way towards deepening their fluff considerably (as one noble fa/tg/uy surmised, less retarded Saturday morning cartoon villainy). While some have balked at the more vampiric flavor of the New DE Codex, several denizens of /tg/ have managed to extract comic gold from this. A common musing is that they are ambitious, sex-crazed, easily shot down, boat-and-plane-loving pseudo-aristocrats (although many of the Dark Eldar really are aristocratic) haunted by a dark curse - ergo, they're not vampires, but, in fact, the Kennedys.

Putting it simply, the soul of a Dark Eldar is [[Grimdark|an open wound that can only be salved with suffering, a void that can only be filled with tortured bodies, a thirst that can only be quenched by spilled blood.]] Just like my ex girlfriend!! The origin of this void within the Dark Eldar, and the source of the nigh-religious terror that drives them to commit these daily atrocities, is the knowledge that [[Matt Ward|<s>THEY WILL NEVER BE ULTRAMARINES</s>]] upon death, their soul is forfeit to the Chaos God Slaanesh - an eventuality they intend to stave off at all costs.

Fortunately for the Dark Eldar, provided that someone recovers enough of their remains, their dead body parts can be brought to the Dark Eldar Haemonculi (an ancient order of Dr. Mengeles, the people that educated [[Fabius Bile]] in the art of being a gigantic [[Eldrad|dick]]) and regenerate themselves in case of death, complete with personality and mental faculties intact. This also keeps their soul from being devoured by Slaanesh - but at a price - this regenerative process is fueled by pain just as surely as the Dark Eldar themselves. This is the reason Dark Eldar raids are so eager to get in and get out as fast as possible; [[grimdark|if the subject is dead for more than a day or so, they're beyond recovery]]. (Actually that's a lie the Haemonculi tell their clients so the clients won't risk the truth: any subject can be revived, but the longer it's been dead the more likely the reviving chamber will attract daemons and cause a disjunction/warp storm)

Their diet of anguish has blessed the Dark Eldar with some of the longest lifespans in the setting, only surpassed by godlike figures like the C'tan, Necrons, the [[Emperor|Emprah]], [[Phoenix Lords]] and the Chaos Gods. If they die, they can just respawn back at base once the Haemonculi have managed to torture and/or bosh enough pain out of their subjects to allow the occupants of their rejuvenation pods to regenerate. This system is dependant on the Haemonculi though, and as a result they are the single most crucial group within all of Commorragh. The process gradually has diminishing returns though and truly ancient Dark Eldar will eventually require an ever increasing amount of pain infliction to rejuvenate themselves.

The Dark Eldar have also overcome the traditional [[Gay|Elven birthrate problem]] by finding a fun workaround to the long gestation period of conventional Eldar - they can remove a fertilized ovum and place it in an amniotic tube to age them quickly enough to be useful. This is looked down on by Dark Eldar society however - they even have an elite unit, the Trueborn, that are basically a bunch of spoiled brats who feel entitled to all the good weapons just because they got pushed out of a proper twat (that and the fact that ones born from a tube also get older faster and need to feed on pain more often). The fact that hedonism is the rule in Commorragh probably helps too.

The Dark Eldar have some of the most advanced tech in the 41st millennium, in some cases even surpassing the most powerful weapons of their cousins. Access to weapons that basically fling incandescent dark matter and miniature stars around goes a long way towards giving them serious "I'm going to fuck your shit up" power, and their access to arcane wargear and super-fast vehicles even more so. In fact the only race that comes even close to the technological level and destructive power of the Dark Eldar is the [[Necrons]], whose basic weapon rips the molecules off its target, flaying one layer off at a time (though it's still near-instant). Despite this the majority of the most powerful technology cannot be used by the Dark Eldar anymore as it was psychic in nature, and their psychic abilities have long since atrophied away (truly making them the degenerate Eldar). The little psychic ability that they have left tends to be unimpressive.

All that being said, their continued survival is not as implausible as it might seem at first glance. The Dark Eldar are smart, technologically advanced, quite numerous, and even though they'll fight each other to death over a biscuit in Commorragh, during a raid into Real Space they set aside their differences to [[/tg/ gets shit done|GET SHIT DONE]]. The new codex also points out the Dark Eldar do follow a fairly strict set of rules while fighting each other and running shit; one of the reasons they enjoy raiding realspace is that it allows them to cut loose and just butcher innocents for a while.

It is also worth noting that the closest word Dark Eldar have to the concept of love is something along the lines of willingly submitting one's will to another.

==COMMORRAGH WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS==
[[Image:Dork_Elfdar_Winch.png|thumb|right|My bra is a face. Your argument is invalid.]]
The Dark Eldar live in the Dark City of Commorragh, basically an impossibly large extradimensional port city fueled by two stolen suns (and they made sure to steal suns from inhabited planetary systems, because fuck those guys). Think of a sprawling cross between 17th century Port Royal with Mos Eisley space port (a wretched hive of scum and villainy) with a drug/torture/rape-based economy (Detroit) and the warped architecture of ''Inception''. So watch out, Utica! Commorragh is a city on the... Grow!

Dark Eldar civilisation (if you care to call it such) in Commorragh is mirrored on real life 19th Century Singapore, the Aztecs, depictions of ancient Rome and Greece at their most decadent and depraved plus the city's real-life namesakes the Cammora clans and [[religion|Gomorrah]].

Every Dark Eldar aspires to join a Kabal - an organisation that functions like a mixture of a crime syndicate, a pirate fleet and a classical Italian city state family (i.e the Borgias), the smallest being a couple dozen elves with rifles and the very largest rivalling Craftworlds in military might. Membership in a Kabal brings social security (being in a Kabal basically makes you a made-man so nobody can kill you without reprisal from the rest of the Kabal) and more importantly, the big chance to go out into a realspace raid. Continuing the mafia analogy, Kabals are run by Archons (the godfathers) and his Sybarites (the lieutenants). [[Orks|You advance inside a Kabal by killing the guy above you and then convincing the others over the cooling body of your former superior that you can do a better job.]]

Realspace raids are wrought with risk and success can bring much prestige (and failed raids can cause much losing of political face), so the Dark Eldar have no tolerance for weak and foolish leadership. If you don't fancy the Kabal route, you can try to induct yourself into a Wych Cult (a gladiatorial society) or a Haemonculi Coven (you go to be a bitch-boy assistant for a cackling BDSM lunatic who works in flesh-sculpting). Both are equally valid and valuable components of Dark Eldar society - the Cults provide entertainment and bits of delicious suffering for the masses to savour, and the Covens manage the Dark Eldar's resurrective technologies and torture of slaves. It is not uncommon for larger Cults and Covens to work together with the Kabals on realspace raids, or even conduct their own independent ones.

It goes without saying that Commorragh is extremely dangerous to live in. There are very few laws and violence is an everyday fact of life. However you should abide by a handful:
* First law, [[Heresy|anything relating to psykers or Warp magic in Commorragh is strictly, and I do mean strictly, verboten]]. As that means possibly drawing the attention of [[Slaanesh]] to the Dark City.
* Second law, obey Vect - he is the tog dog in Commorragh, so if he says jump, you jump; if he says piss your pants, you piss your pants.
* Third law, obey the Kabals, unless doing so conflicts with the aforementioned "Don't disobey Vect" law.
* Fourth law, don't fuck around with [[Harlequins]]. That's generally good life advice no matter what race or creed you are, but the Dark City still fosters relations with the ''de facto'' leaders of the Aeldari race, so they enjoy diplomatic immunity, if you will.
* Fifth law, don't kill Scourges, unless your name is Asdrubael Vect.

Apart from that, basically anything goes.

Despite common misconception, Commorragh is not purely an Eldar city - various human and alien mercenaries ply their trade in the Null City, and a burgeoning population of Orks have managed to infest the lower levels. Sometimes they become stars in Commorragh's fighting pits. At least they have universal healthcare, though.

[[Story:A cage, shattered|If you can survive the inhabitants of the Dark City]] there is only one problem. Being in the Webway, every now and then the Dark City will suffer something called a Dysjunction; the Webway/Warp equivalent of a natural disaster which is a more powerful combination of earthquake/firestorm/hurricane that can spread across large parts of the Webway and really wreck Commorragh. In addition, it damages the walls of the Webway, which can allow daemons to invade all across Commorragh. Fortunately, this is rare and only happens during huge bouts of Warp-related turmoil, hence why Dark Eldar are so serious about enforcing the ban of sorcery and psychic power usage inside Commorragh. These Dysjunctions, when they do occur, regularly destroy subrealms of Commorragh.

It's only been invaded thrice. First by Orks (that time with daemons, apart from Dysjunctions, they were summoned into Commorragh) and the second was when Vect, plotting a coup against the ruling Archons, arranged for a ship filled with a few hundred Space Marines (in a shocking change from the norm, the [[Salamanders]], for once; [[Matt Ward]] is rumored to have had the vapors from this, though the Salamanders are frequently depicted as having a huge grudge against the Dark Eldar due to Vulkan's origin story) to be towed to the Dark City. Of course, ''most'' of Commorragh's armed forces fought the Space Marines, who managed to escape with ease. The City was also invaded by the [[Death Guard]] at some point.

[[Lucius]], whilst not invading it, did manage to destroy an entire subrealm of Commorragh and kill so many Dark Eldar it was noted as the largest single loss of Eldar life since [[Eye of Terror|the Fall]], and cowed all of Commorragh into a defensive mode, with Vect and the other leaders powerless to do anything to stop Lucius and his single ship.

Apart from invasions, however, Space Marines have made a frequent habit of entering and exiting it, the Salamanders, [[Space Wolves]] and [[Deathwatch]] all having successfully entered the city and exited alive, along with the [[Emperor's Children]], Deathmongers and Death Guard. In fact there are precious few times Space Marines don't enter and exit Commorragh at their own leisure, and Dark Eldar seem particularly bad at containing them.

Not to be outdone, the Black Legion once laid siege to Comorragh to wipe out one of its great houses. Don't steal from [[Iskandar Khayon]], kids.

==The name==
Despite having been plastered on the boxes and rules for the better half of their existence, the term "Dark Eldar" almost never appears in universe - no one really calls them by that name. Dark Eldar call themselves just Eldar, since they think they are the only true Eldar, inheritors of the old Eldar Empire, while all other are defectors from the true Eldar path (of rape, drugs and rock-n-roll); most will admit they have a point, but whether they're outright correct is a debate for another time. Craftworlders call them the Dark Kin, Exodites call them the Children of [[Khaine]], and Corsairs and Harlequins simply call them Commorites. As for other races, most of them don't know and/or care about the differences between Eldar subraces/cultures, at best distinguishing Commorites (and sometimes Corsairs too) by their MO as as pirates or raiders of Eldar, or by their appearance as Spikey Panzees. About the only people who actually use the term "Dark Eldar" in-universe are some of the Ordo Xenos Inquisitors and their acolytes, and even they also often call them Chaos or Tainted Eldar, mistakenly thinking DEldar are Chaos-worshipers.

The modern name "Drukhari"™ doesn't make much more sense from a DE perspective. If we assume the Eldar lexicon to be based on IRL Celtic languages (some Eldar sentences are ''litteraly'' Irish/Scottish), then "Drukhari"™ would be related to ''drouk'' (Breton) or ''droch'' (Old Irish), from Gaullish ''drucos'' meaning "evil, bad". Something quite weird given how DE are beyond moral considerations, so it's probably a term coined by other Eldar subcultures. (Droch, Drouk, Drucos / Drukos also can mean 'Wheel', 'Circlet', 'Bridge', 'Wet', 'Drown' and 'To Deceive'. It is entirely possible while it's coined by other subcultures, it could be the inhabitants of Commorragh see themselves as 'Eldar of the Dark City', or other Eldar may name them 'The Eldar that Deceive', both of which may feasibly be 'Drukhari'™) Really, though, its just an alteration of the name for Warhammer Fantasy's Dark Elves, Druchii.

The term 'Eladrith Ynneas' (Ee-lad-rith Yin-nee-ah-ss) was coined in 5the ed by Vect shortly after his meteoric rise to power, and is widely considered to sound much cooler than American comedian Drew-Carey.

==Tactics==
The Dark Eldar put a lot of emphasis on lightning fast piratical raids; their vehicles are lightly armoured, but are the fastest available, allowing them to get in and out as quick as possible. They have a lot of units who prefer getting up close and personal, such as Wyches and Incubi, who put emphasis on causing as much pain as possible whilst still getting home in time for tea. This doesn't mean to say they don't have good ranged weaponry; their splinter rifles fire crystalized poison and their blast weapons fire dark matter, completely annihilating anything in their path. In short, all of their weapons are designed to fuck up everything they touch in the most extravagant and painful way possible. Fear, infiltration and sabotage are their main weapons, and usually their enemies don't know they are fighting the Dark Eldar until it's far too late.

The Dark Eldar themselves despise a fair fight. They will use anything at their disposal, and no tactic is too underhanded, no ploy too despicable. They have no code of honor (save for the Incubi) and will do anything as long as they come out on top, which to them is coming away with as many slaves and stolen raw materials as possible. And when they do get home with their booty, they will open their finest wines, sit on thrones made of dead slaves, kick up their heels on living slaves being used as footrests (or just rape them) and twirl their metaphorical handlebar mustaches. Cue evil laugh.

==Special Characters==
At least the Dark Eldar had playable special characters now, before most of the rules were squatted.

===RIP===
*[[Asdrubael Vect| Asdrubael Vect]], the Pimp Master General of Commorragh who's now a manipulator on par with Eldrad (hardly high praise) and, impossibly, an even bigger dick. A tragic loss, he is much missed; his rules helped your army like crazy and made him the deadliest [[Primarch|non-HH]] [[Swarmlord|infantry-sized]] model in 40k, impossible to re-create without lucky rolls on dice and homebrews. Why Games Workshop saw fit to remove Vect from the latest Codex is a mystery as he had a model (based on the out-of-production plastic raider kit) but given the latest trend of shifting some characters off into the Lord of War section, Vect on the Dais of Destruction would've been a nice fit, especially considering that Santa Claws based monstrosity we were given in the Space Wolves codex.
*[[Lady Malys]], an anime villainess and Vect's pissed-off ex. She won [[Daemon|someone's heart]] in a contest and shoved it in her chest. She was ''okay'' as a character so her passing isn't that big a deal. She was also dropped from the rules but still also features heavily all the way through the new codex as the up and coming rival to Vect, her loss was more inexplicable since she could have easily filled the gap of special character Archon, since Succubus & Haemonculi both have theirs; but she was likely cut because she doesn't have a model and GW couldn't be bothered to give her one.
*Kruellagh the Vile, a name too silly even for [[Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader|Rogue Trader]], being based off of "Hundred and One Dalmatians" villain Cruella de Vil. Also her model made her look like a cheesy DC supervillain.
*Lord Hellion [[Baron Sathonyx]], who many on /tg/ believe to be Spider-Man's archnemesis. Was kinda cool for his FOC-shifting abilities with respects to Hellions.
*[[Kheradruakh]] the Decapitator, who, uh, cuts peoples heads off and collects them like beanie babies. Implied to be collecting them like coconuts to do some serious warp-related shit. Was also never used because [[Counts as|Mandrakes sucked]]. He recently played a major role in the Gathering Storm, saving all of Commorragh from a massive Dysjunction.
*[[Duke Sliscus]], the Pirate Duke who drinks poisons, has all the best drugs, and brings all the bitches to the yard with his gigantic [[Eldrad|cock]]. Almost as insufferable as [[Assholetep]]. Much missed because his contraband rule stopped you from rolling terrible combat drugs, and now this is gone. The rest of his rules weren't particularly special though, so you can still have him using the Archon rules.

===Survivors===
*[[Urien Rakarth]], a hyper-evolved Pavi Largo. Quite possibly the sickest fuck in the galaxy (at the very least a strong contender), and that is really an achievement of unimaginable proportions.
*[[Drazhar]], the Master of Blades, who does not speak and slashes other Incubi to bits from time to time just to throw his weight around. Nobody knows his real name as he just appeared one day out of nowhere, never removes his armor, and probably kills anyone who tries to touch the goods. Many people believe Drazhar is Arhra, An additional piece of <strike>bait</strike> evidence is that his warsuit is much more ancient than any other one available to the incubi cults and pretty much out of their understanding, leading some to think it's -the- original warsuit. Considering Ahra disappeared after getting buttfucked by his successor and disappeared some time before Drazhar showed up, and you can pretty much piece the evidence of the <strike>mystery</strike> thinly veiled "but what if it's not trueeeeeeeee" tactic together.
*[[Lelith Hesperax]], an oversexed gladiatrix/snuff-film porn starlet (srsly, so much implied masturbation in her profile, it's not even funny). Jumped ship to the [[Ynnari]] faction for personal goals.

== Dating a Dark Eldar ==
{| border=2 cellspacing=2 cellpadding=2
|-
! Likes !! Dislikes
|- valign=top
|
* "Playthings"
* Flesh
* Latex
* Leather
* Whips
* Spikes
* Cock and ball torture
* Hardcore, ballbusting Sex
* Drugs
* [[Ork#Rokkas|Rock'n'Roll]]
* S/M
* Holes
* [[Truly_Immovable_Rod|Rods]]
* [[/d/|Other odd fetishes]]
|
* Sunshine
* Lollipops
* Rainbows
* Flowers
* Puppies(that (s)he doesn't get to flay)
* John Denver(same deal)
* Sobriety
* Handholding (unless one of them has been involuntarily detached)
* "Vanilla" sex
* Erectile Dysfunction
* Prudishness
* R&B music
* Weak constitutions
* self-denial
|}

==See Also==
*[[Dark Eldar Kabal Creation Tables]]
*[[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Dark_Eldar (9E)|Tactics on how to play them.]]
*[[The Enshrouded]]

{{Dark Eldar-Characters}}
{{Dark Eldar-Forces}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Dark eldar.jpg|
Image:Commorragh Runner.jpg
Image:40kshock.jpg
Image:Commorragh.jpg|What is up?
File:Blackholeinabox.jpg#file.png|Oh, that wacky Vect.
File:Duke_uses_poison.jpg#file.png|Kill like a DEldar, DEldar.
Image:Dark_Eldar_Combat_Drugs_-_Not_Even_Once_2.png| Combat drugs: Not even once.
Image:Advice_Darkeldar.jpg.jpg|No, no, you got it right the first time.
Image:Wrack by moonskinned-d5tx8oj.jpg|He's only a gimp but he's not that funny.
Image:LynnminwenCD.jpg|Buying this CD is [[Heresy]]! <s>Download it from torrent. </s> {{BLAM|HERESY!}}{{BLAM}}
File:1381591104255.jpg|Lelith Hesperax, right after killing someone and cleaning off the blood.
File:Wych Cat.jpg|Kitty Wych is sexy.
Image:Dark_Eldar.png|...but at least you can't call them quitters! Keep fucking that chicken!
Image:Idealized.jpg|Fucking [[My Little Pony|Pony]] nonsense... Fucking with... Sense of... What were we talking about?
File:Warhammer 40k sisters of battle adeptas sororitas battling Dark Eldar.jpg|If an army of evil space-dominatrices squared off against an army of semi-heroic space nuns, who would win? We don't care its HAWT.. SOON AVAILABLE TO PLAY WITH THE NEW "PIETY AND PAIN" BOX.
File:Wych_Battle.jpg|Some armies clad their dedicated combat units in armor that covers more than areolas and genitals. Some armies are for ''pussies''.
Image:Talos pain engine by moonskinned-d5tx8v6.jpg| "Well, look. I mean, is he gonna be able to chase us? Cause if I woke up lookin' like that, I would just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it."
Image:Inception.jpg|Your daily commute in Commorragh, except everyone's an [[Dwarf Fortress|elf-rapist]], the pistols shoot poison that can kill robots, and the chicks are soul-sucking crack whore gladiators.
Image:Bell_cel_warhammer_sketch_by_elvishprincess25-db0et80.jpg| As I understand it, this is an interesting idea for a crossover...
Image:Dark Eldar DC.png|The crossover you never knew you needed, [[Tau Diplomacy|now throw in the Tau Diplomat who sounds like Starfire]].
Santa Lelith Hesperax 1.jpg|Maybe she'll give you a kiss under the mistletoe, maybe something more, or maybe she'll kill you. Personally, I think it's worth the risk.
Image:Deldar wracks.jpg|So who's the next one to call the Dark Eldar "puny elf weaklings".
</gallery></center>

{{WH40k-Factions}}
{{Template:Important Species in 40k}}
[[Category:Xenos]]

Dark Eldar

2021-03-03T07:47:42Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2: /* COMMORRAGH WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS */

{{Heresy}}
[[Image:Dark_Eldar_Symbol.png‎|center]]
[[Image:Dark Eldar Raid Colored by MajesticChicken.jpg|right|thumb|600px|Mercy? Interesting word, I always wanted to know its meaning.]]
{{Topquote|Cruel people are busy all the time, as if to find justification for the cruelty of their dealings.|Leo Tolstoy}}
{{Topquote|What we were after now was the old surprise visit. That was a real kick, and good for laughs and lashings of the old ultraviolent.|Alex - A Clockwork Orange}}
{{Topquote|Last call for morals! Better cover your drink! Sodom and Gomorrah’d! Let it pour down the sink!|”Front Street” by Will Wood and the Tapeworms (also known as the national anthem for [[Commorragh]])}}

The '''Dark Eldar''' (also known as the '''Drukhari''', cuz trademark reasons) are the villainous, Extra [[Grimdark]], and more BDSM obsessed counterparts of the [[Eldar]], who followed the horrific depravity that saw the Eldar Empire destroyed. Continuing such lovely traditions as mutilation for it's own sake, creative variations of rape, and dedicated polysubstance abuse constitute the Dark Eldar's claim to be the "true" and "traditionalist" Eldar, while disparaging their Craftworld and Exodite kin as having abandoned their grimdark elfiness because said grimdark elfiness caused, you know, the whole [[Fall of the Eldar|goatse-in-the-fabric-of-the-galaxy thing.]] They kind of have a point, but given how they have to suppress their innate psychic natures, lacking an anchor of a world spirit, spirit stone, or Creepy Clown God, and while the Creepy Rape God is trying to nom their soul-stuff they get it back by doing horrible things to others. And each other. And themselves. Truthfully, all of the elfy branches have deviated in their own ways after the Fall, but only the Dark Eldar do so by way of doing even more of the depraved shit that caused the Fall in the first place. So there's something to be said for them being traditionalists, after all; His Grand Spikiness [[Asdrubael Vect]] is hinted at having been around for the last big [[Anal circumference|blowout]] [[Eye of Terror|party]], and Commorragh's [[Urien Rakarth|Chief Surgeon]] is confirmed to have been present for it.

They get away with this in part by living in the byzantine port city [[Commorragh]] in the [[Webway]], spiriting out from the shadows on occasion to take slaves and to commit unspeakable atrocities on whoever they capture. Particularly when they are outside the Webway, they're in constant danger from [[Slaanesh|"She Who Thirsts"]] unless they go on and on in a self-reinforcing, vicious cycle of debauchery. They're the [[Honsou|sickest fucks]] in all of [[Warhammer 40,000]], which is a hell of an accomplishment, even for [[Slaanesh|the literal god of pleasure and excess]]. Their lives revolve around sadistic torture, making them a sort of cross between the Cenobites from Hellraiser and the Reavers from Firefly. They are mainly pirates, though sometimes hire themselves out as mercenaries before they inevitably betray their employers.

Surprisingly, Dark Eldar draw a lot of inspiration from the Fair Folk - not the pussy Disney pixi-fairies, but the [[World of Darkness]]-style inhumanly beautiful monsters that make humans suffer just for their own amusement, kidnap children to turn them into pets/slaves, and run the Wild Hunt that kill maim and rape everything in its wake, vanishing without a trace at dawn. Commonly derided for being the biggest Edge-Lords in the galaxy (or "scene-kid" Eldar), Dark Eldar come across as the only race that's actively trying to ''one-up'' Chaos for title of the universe's most grimdark faction.

For their fantasy counterparts see [[Druchii]].

==History==
The Eldar, after the [[FATAL|disaster]] that caused [[Slaanesh]] and [[Eye of Terror|turned their empire into the universe's biggest Goatse.cx reference]], destroying their race and [[grimdark|killing 90% or so of their population outright]], were a dying race. Slaanesh was devouring their souls like Eldar McNuggets, and it was only through ascetic mysticism and use of Soulstones that the Eldar could avoid getting vored by She Who Thirsts. Conventional wisdom was that these Eldar only survived on craftworlds and the maiden worlds that the Eldar had colonized before the fall, and some of these still fell into genocidal madness (the Blood Angels and Ordo Sinister were needed to destroy one such Craftworld).

[[Dawn of War|Conventional wisdom]], of course, [[C.S.Goto|means little in the 40K universe]]. Whilst most of the Eldar were mass-raped to death by Slaanesh when their falling into depraved cycles of decadence reached critical mass and caused a Chaos god to be born, a few of them survived because they were in parts of the Webway (a portal network that the Eldar use for transportation). They escaped with no real ill-effects, or so they thought. In reality, Slaanesh was slowly nomming their souls just like she does every Eldar without a Soulstone - however, they found that by [[Grimdark|continuing to engage in rampant hedonism and by torturing and inflicting pain and anguish on other creatures would reduce or even reverse the effects of Slaanesh's hold on them]], forcing them to seek out and capture, kill, and torment the "lesser" races of the galaxy in order to satiate themselves and stave off their doom. Which actually seems to be working out pretty well for those deldar who are sick enough fucks, because they wind up being more or less immortal.

Sadistic and psychotic to the point of making your average [[Chaos Space Marines|Chaos Marine]] look like hippies in contrast, hopped up on cocktails of combat stimulant drugs, and armed predominantly with weapons and equipment that cause [[Indrick Boreale|unspeakable immeasurable agony]] in those they go after, the Dark Eldar are easily the most depraved and vicious race the 41st millennium has. Hated by literally every single faction in the 41st millennium, the Dark Eldar are perhaps the only race with [[Anal circumference|bigger assholes]] than [[Eldrad]], though in spite of this, unlike their sissy counterparts, the Dark Eldar are hated much less by the playerbase - presumably because their army actually takes some brains to use and isn't a giant bunch of status-quo-defending [[Eldar|losers]]. Well, that and its implied they use [[/d/|sexual torture]] along with the normal kind.

In battle, Dark Eldar center around hit-and-run tactics, dealing huge damage and moving fast; few of their units can really take much abuse, making them even more fragile than their less edgy counterparts. Their standard infantry armor is identical to that of a Guardian (not terribly good), their vehicles are predominantly lightly-armored transport and attack craft that can be brought down by anti-infantry gunfire, and the armor on a typical Wych or Grotesque is no tougher than the ramshackle metal plating favored by Orks, but without the whole "I believe this armor will protect me, which is why it does" and at absolute best will cover only nipples and vulva, meaning that it would take considerable skill (and a somewhat sadistic shooter) to bounce a round off of their 'armour'. Suffice to say, they are extremely fragile and metaphorically half-naked in battle (literally if female), and getting the most out of them takes skill and patience that is rarely-seen on [[/tg/]]; whilst most fa/tg/uys will openly mock your average Eldar player, they will give pause and show some respect to a Dark Eldar player worth their salt.

The Dark Eldar are known for the ''excessive'' amount of [[Faptau|fapping]] [[Heresy|material]] involved with them, and they are the subject of thousands of sexual fantasies by desperate masochistic teenagers and middle aged neckbeards incapable of handling [[Female Space Marines|real women]]. They did, after all, kind of rape/drug/kill/etc themselves into oblivion, which tends to lend itself towards certain excessive abuses. They are also known for having some of the most fucking awesome-looking models on the tabletop, even if the armor of half of what they field will suffer instant critical existence failure at the hands of your typical [[Space Marine]]. This is pretty standard for all Xenos though.

==Codex Update==
[[File:Dark_Eldar_Safe.jpg|thumb|right|1998-2010 - twelve years of codex blue balls]]
The Dark Eldar, historically, have long been considered the faction for professionals because the army was perceived as being very difficult to use correctly. Their units, while generally quite fast, were almost uniformly fragile; this meant that the army was very intolerant of mistakes on the tabletop. Consequently they were easily the ''least'' played faction in 40k. Nearly 12 years passed before a codex update - but finally, in 2010, [[Games Workshop|GW]] decided to throw Dark Eldar players a much-needed bone.

Sweet [[Emperor|Jesus]], talk about buffs. The new 5th edition Codex changed very little fluff-wise, but the Dark Eldar gained substantial staying power and could actually field a reasonably <s>tough</s> hard-hitting army. The Power from Pain rule made them tougher as they scored kills, and the army also had a lot of potential for being much more forgiving of mistakes (previously it was a case of either steamrolling foes or getting curb-stomped). Lots of new options and extensive access to poisoned range weapons made them extremely versatile - as well as the bane of Tyranid players everywhere.

The 7th edition Codex was a mixed bag, with some serious nerfs. On the downside: Vect, Sliscus, Malys, Decapitator and Baron are no longer playable, though most of them are still mentioned in the fluff. Flickerfields have disappeared from all vehicles except Venoms, and Wyches somehow got ''even'' worse by losing haywire grenades and their gladiator weapons just becoming variants on re-rolling. On the upside, Power From Pain became something that happened to the whole army with the bonuses stacking each turn, rather than having to make mediocre units kill things in order to become useful. Mandrakes actually became half-decent (though still vastly inferior to Incubi & Trueborn), Grotesques no longer exploded when left alone, Talos & Chronos engines came in squads, and Scourges became able to spam more toys.

As of 8th Edition the Dark Eldar have been renamed the 'Drukhari' for copyright reasons. Like most armies in this edition they have their own equivalent of Chapter Tactics, Toughness on vehicles, and varying movement rates. All of these elements are considerable improvements compared to the previous editions. Dark Eldar armies can also gain extra CP for bringing multiple smaller detachments; combine this with the considerable buffs on wyches and Mandrakes, and you've got an army that has the potential to become more popular than ever before! They are still a "glass cannon" army, but are way more forgiving and benefit from both aggressive and conservative playstyles.

==The Dark Eldar Themselves==
[[Image:1287692229240.jpg|thumb|right|A lot like this, really.]]
{{topquote|I came to bring the pain, hardcore from the brain/Let's go inside my astral plane.|Tupac Shakur, Archon of the Wu Tang Kabal}}

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8tvBUfanu0]''''The fall of the eldar to present drukhari''''

The story of the Dark Eldar's fall and their need to inflict pain and horror in order to live - as well as elaboration on their kabalistic practices - have gone a long way towards deepening their fluff considerably (as one noble fa/tg/uy surmised, less retarded Saturday morning cartoon villainy). While some have balked at the more vampiric flavor of the New DE Codex, several denizens of /tg/ have managed to extract comic gold from this. A common musing is that they are ambitious, sex-crazed, easily shot down, boat-and-plane-loving pseudo-aristocrats (although many of the Dark Eldar really are aristocratic) haunted by a dark curse - ergo, they're not vampires, but, in fact, the Kennedys.

Putting it simply, the soul of a Dark Eldar is [[Grimdark|an open wound that can only be salved with suffering, a void that can only be filled with tortured bodies, a thirst that can only be quenched by spilled blood.]] Just like my ex girlfriend!! The origin of this void within the Dark Eldar, and the source of the nigh-religious terror that drives them to commit these daily atrocities, is the knowledge that [[Matt Ward|<s>THEY WILL NEVER BE ULTRAMARINES</s>]] upon death, their soul is forfeit to the Chaos God Slaanesh - an eventuality they intend to stave off at all costs.

Fortunately for the Dark Eldar, provided that someone recovers enough of their remains, their dead body parts can be brought to the Dark Eldar Haemonculi (an ancient order of Dr. Mengeles, the people that educated [[Fabius Bile]] in the art of being a gigantic [[Eldrad|dick]]) and regenerate themselves in case of death, complete with personality and mental faculties intact. This also keeps their soul from being devoured by Slaanesh - but at a price - this regenerative process is fueled by pain just as surely as the Dark Eldar themselves. This is the reason Dark Eldar raids are so eager to get in and get out as fast as possible; [[grimdark|if the subject is dead for more than a day or so, they're beyond recovery]]. (Actually that's a lie the Haemonculi tell their clients so the clients won't risk the truth: any subject can be revived, but the longer it's been dead the more likely the reviving chamber will attract daemons and cause a disjunction/warp storm)

Their diet of anguish has blessed the Dark Eldar with some of the longest lifespans in the setting, only surpassed by godlike figures like the C'tan, Necrons, the [[Emperor|Emprah]], [[Phoenix Lords]] and the Chaos Gods. If they die, they can just respawn back at base once the Haemonculi have managed to torture and/or bosh enough pain out of their subjects to allow the occupants of their rejuvenation pods to regenerate. This system is dependant on the Haemonculi though, and as a result they are the single most crucial group within all of Commorragh. The process gradually has diminishing returns though and truly ancient Dark Eldar will eventually require an ever increasing amount of pain infliction to rejuvenate themselves.

The Dark Eldar have also overcome the traditional [[Gay|Elven birthrate problem]] by finding a fun workaround to the long gestation period of conventional Eldar - they can remove a fertilized ovum and place it in an amniotic tube to age them quickly enough to be useful. This is looked down on by Dark Eldar society however - they even have an elite unit, the Trueborn, that are basically a bunch of spoiled brats who feel entitled to all the good weapons just because they got pushed out of a proper twat (that and the fact that ones born from a tube also get older faster and need to feed on pain more often). The fact that hedonism is the rule in Commorragh probably helps too.

The Dark Eldar have some of the most advanced tech in the 41st millennium, in some cases even surpassing the most powerful weapons of their cousins. Access to weapons that basically fling incandescent dark matter and miniature stars around goes a long way towards giving them serious "I'm going to fuck your shit up" power, and their access to arcane wargear and super-fast vehicles even more so. In fact the only race that comes even close to the technological level and destructive power of the Dark Eldar is the [[Necrons]], whose basic weapon rips the molecules off its target, flaying one layer off at a time (though it's still near-instant). Despite this the majority of the most powerful technology cannot be used by the Dark Eldar anymore as it was psychic in nature, and their psychic abilities have long since atrophied away (truly making them the degenerate Eldar). The little psychic ability that they have left tends to be unimpressive.

All that being said, their continued survival is not as implausible as it might seem at first glance. The Dark Eldar are smart, technologically advanced, quite numerous, and even though they'll fight each other to death over a biscuit in Commorragh, during a raid into Real Space they set aside their differences to [[/tg/ gets shit done|GET SHIT DONE]]. The new codex also points out the Dark Eldar do follow a fairly strict set of rules while fighting each other and running shit; one of the reasons they enjoy raiding realspace is that it allows them to cut loose and just butcher innocents for a while.

It is also worth noting that the closest word Dark Eldar have to the concept of love is something along the lines of willingly submitting one's will to another.

==COMMORRAGH WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS==
[[Image:Dork_Elfdar_Winch.png|thumb|right|My bra is a face. Your argument is invalid.]]
The Dark Eldar live in the Dark City of Commorragh, basically an impossibly large extradimensional port city fueled by two stolen suns (and they made sure to steal suns from inhabited planetary systems, because fuck those guys). Think of a sprawling cross between 17th century Port Royal with Mos Eisley space port (a wretched hive of scum and villainy) with a drug/torture/rape-based economy (Detroit) and the warped architecture of ''Inception''. So watch out, Utica! Commorragh is a city on the... Grow!

Dark Eldar civilisation (if you care to call it such) in Commorragh is mirrored on real life 19th Century Singapore, the Aztecs, and depictions of ancient Rome and Greece at their most decadent and depraved plus the city's namesakes the Cammora clans and Gomorrah from [[religion|Abrahamic Scriptures]].

Every Dark Eldar aspires to join a Kabal - an organisation that functions like a mixture of a crime syndicate, a pirate fleet and a classical Italian city state family (i.e the Borgias), the smallest being a couple dozen elves with rifles and the very largest rivalling Craftworlds in military might. Membership in a Kabal brings social security (being in a Kabal basically makes you a made-man so nobody can kill you without reprisal from the rest of the Kabal) and more importantly, the big chance to go out into a realspace raid. Continuing the mafia analogy, Kabals are run by Archons (the godfathers) and his Sybarites (the lieutenants). [[Orks|You advance inside a Kabal by killing the guy above you and then convincing the others over the cooling body of your former superior that you can do a better job.]]

Realspace raids are wrought with risk and success can bring much prestige (and failed raids can cause much losing of political face), so the Dark Eldar have no tolerance for weak and foolish leadership. If you don't fancy the Kabal route, you can try to induct yourself into a Wych Cult (a gladiatorial society) or a Haemonculi Coven (you go to be a bitch-boy assistant for a cackling BDSM lunatic who works in flesh-sculpting). Both are equally valid and valuable components of Dark Eldar society - the Cults provide entertainment and bits of delicious suffering for the masses to savour, and the Covens manage the Dark Eldar's resurrective technologies and torture of slaves. It is not uncommon for larger Cults and Covens to work together with the Kabals on realspace raids, or even conduct their own independent ones.

It goes without saying that Commorragh is extremely dangerous to live in. There are very few laws and violence is an everyday fact of life. However you should abide by a handful:
* First law, [[Heresy|anything relating to psykers or Warp magic in Commorragh is strictly, and I do mean strictly, verboten]]. As that means possibly drawing the attention of [[Slaanesh]] to the Dark City.
* Second law, obey Vect - he is the tog dog in Commorragh, so if he says jump, you jump; if he says piss your pants, you piss your pants.
* Third law, obey the Kabals, unless doing so conflicts with the aforementioned "Don't disobey Vect" law.
* Fourth law, don't fuck around with [[Harlequins]]. That's generally good life advice no matter what race or creed you are, but the Dark City still fosters relations with the ''de facto'' leaders of the Aeldari race, so they enjoy diplomatic immunity, if you will.
* Fifth law, don't kill Scourges, unless your name is Asdrubael Vect.

Apart from that, basically anything goes.

Despite common misconception, Commorragh is not purely an Eldar city - various human and alien mercenaries ply their trade in the Null City, and a burgeoning population of Orks have managed to infest the lower levels. Sometimes they become stars in Commorragh's fighting pits. At least they have universal healthcare, though.

[[Story:A cage, shattered|If you can survive the inhabitants of the Dark City]] there is only one problem. Being in the Webway, every now and then the Dark City will suffer something called a Dysjunction; the Webway/Warp equivalent of a natural disaster which is a more powerful combination of earthquake/firestorm/hurricane that can spread across large parts of the Webway and really wreck Commorragh. In addition, it damages the walls of the Webway, which can allow daemons to invade all across Commorragh. Fortunately, this is rare and only happens during huge bouts of Warp-related turmoil, hence why Dark Eldar are so serious about enforcing the ban of sorcery and psychic power usage inside Commorragh. These Dysjunctions, when they do occur, regularly destroy subrealms of Commorragh.

It's only been invaded thrice. First by Orks (that time with daemons, apart from Dysjunctions, they were summoned into Commorragh) and the second was when Vect, plotting a coup against the ruling Archons, arranged for a ship filled with a few hundred Space Marines (in a shocking change from the norm, the [[Salamanders]], for once; [[Matt Ward]] is rumored to have had the vapors from this, though the Salamanders are frequently depicted as having a huge grudge against the Dark Eldar due to Vulkan's origin story) to be towed to the Dark City. Of course, ''most'' of Commorragh's armed forces fought the Space Marines, who managed to escape with ease. The City was also invaded by the [[Death Guard]] at some point.

[[Lucius]], whilst not invading it, did manage to destroy an entire subrealm of Commorragh and kill so many Dark Eldar it was noted as the largest single loss of Eldar life since [[Eye of Terror|the Fall]], and cowed all of Commorragh into a defensive mode, with Vect and the other leaders powerless to do anything to stop Lucius and his single ship.

Apart from invasions, however, Space Marines have made a frequent habit of entering and exiting it, the Salamanders, [[Space Wolves]] and [[Deathwatch]] all having successfully entered the city and exited alive, along with the [[Emperor's Children]], Deathmongers and Death Guard. In fact there are precious few times Space Marines don't enter and exit Commorragh at their own leisure, and Dark Eldar seem particularly bad at containing them.

Not to be outdone, the Black Legion once laid siege to Comorragh to wipe out one of its great houses. Don't steal from [[Iskandar Khayon]], kids.

==The name==
Despite having been plastered on the boxes and rules for the better half of their existence, the term "Dark Eldar" almost never appears in universe - no one really calls them by that name. Dark Eldar call themselves just Eldar, since they think they are the only true Eldar, inheritors of the old Eldar Empire, while all other are defectors from the true Eldar path (of rape, drugs and rock-n-roll); most will admit they have a point, but whether they're outright correct is a debate for another time. Craftworlders call them the Dark Kin, Exodites call them the Children of [[Khaine]], and Corsairs and Harlequins simply call them Commorites. As for other races, most of them don't know and/or care about the differences between Eldar subraces/cultures, at best distinguishing Commorites (and sometimes Corsairs too) by their MO as as pirates or raiders of Eldar, or by their appearance as Spikey Panzees. About the only people who actually use the term "Dark Eldar" in-universe are some of the Ordo Xenos Inquisitors and their acolytes, and even they also often call them Chaos or Tainted Eldar, mistakenly thinking DEldar are Chaos-worshipers.

The modern name "Drukhari"™ doesn't make much more sense from a DE perspective. If we assume the Eldar lexicon to be based on IRL Celtic languages (some Eldar sentences are ''litteraly'' Irish/Scottish), then "Drukhari"™ would be related to ''drouk'' (Breton) or ''droch'' (Old Irish), from Gaullish ''drucos'' meaning "evil, bad". Something quite weird given how DE are beyond moral considerations, so it's probably a term coined by other Eldar subcultures. (Droch, Drouk, Drucos / Drukos also can mean 'Wheel', 'Circlet', 'Bridge', 'Wet', 'Drown' and 'To Deceive'. It is entirely possible while it's coined by other subcultures, it could be the inhabitants of Commorragh see themselves as 'Eldar of the Dark City', or other Eldar may name them 'The Eldar that Deceive', both of which may feasibly be 'Drukhari'™) Really, though, its just an alteration of the name for Warhammer Fantasy's Dark Elves, Druchii.

The term 'Eladrith Ynneas' (Ee-lad-rith Yin-nee-ah-ss) was coined in 5the ed by Vect shortly after his meteoric rise to power, and is widely considered to sound much cooler than American comedian Drew-Carey.

==Tactics==
The Dark Eldar put a lot of emphasis on lightning fast piratical raids; their vehicles are lightly armoured, but are the fastest available, allowing them to get in and out as quick as possible. They have a lot of units who prefer getting up close and personal, such as Wyches and Incubi, who put emphasis on causing as much pain as possible whilst still getting home in time for tea. This doesn't mean to say they don't have good ranged weaponry; their splinter rifles fire crystalized poison and their blast weapons fire dark matter, completely annihilating anything in their path. In short, all of their weapons are designed to fuck up everything they touch in the most extravagant and painful way possible. Fear, infiltration and sabotage are their main weapons, and usually their enemies don't know they are fighting the Dark Eldar until it's far too late.

The Dark Eldar themselves despise a fair fight. They will use anything at their disposal, and no tactic is too underhanded, no ploy too despicable. They have no code of honor (save for the Incubi) and will do anything as long as they come out on top, which to them is coming away with as many slaves and stolen raw materials as possible. And when they do get home with their booty, they will open their finest wines, sit on thrones made of dead slaves, kick up their heels on living slaves being used as footrests (or just rape them) and twirl their metaphorical handlebar mustaches. Cue evil laugh.

==Special Characters==
At least the Dark Eldar had playable special characters now, before most of the rules were squatted.

===RIP===
*[[Asdrubael Vect| Asdrubael Vect]], the Pimp Master General of Commorragh who's now a manipulator on par with Eldrad (hardly high praise) and, impossibly, an even bigger dick. A tragic loss, he is much missed; his rules helped your army like crazy and made him the deadliest [[Primarch|non-HH]] [[Swarmlord|infantry-sized]] model in 40k, impossible to re-create without lucky rolls on dice and homebrews. Why Games Workshop saw fit to remove Vect from the latest Codex is a mystery as he had a model (based on the out-of-production plastic raider kit) but given the latest trend of shifting some characters off into the Lord of War section, Vect on the Dais of Destruction would've been a nice fit, especially considering that Santa Claws based monstrosity we were given in the Space Wolves codex.
*[[Lady Malys]], an anime villainess and Vect's pissed-off ex. She won [[Daemon|someone's heart]] in a contest and shoved it in her chest. She was ''okay'' as a character so her passing isn't that big a deal. She was also dropped from the rules but still also features heavily all the way through the new codex as the up and coming rival to Vect, her loss was more inexplicable since she could have easily filled the gap of special character Archon, since Succubus & Haemonculi both have theirs; but she was likely cut because she doesn't have a model and GW couldn't be bothered to give her one.
*Kruellagh the Vile, a name too silly even for [[Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader|Rogue Trader]], being based off of "Hundred and One Dalmatians" villain Cruella de Vil. Also her model made her look like a cheesy DC supervillain.
*Lord Hellion [[Baron Sathonyx]], who many on /tg/ believe to be Spider-Man's archnemesis. Was kinda cool for his FOC-shifting abilities with respects to Hellions.
*[[Kheradruakh]] the Decapitator, who, uh, cuts peoples heads off and collects them like beanie babies. Implied to be collecting them like coconuts to do some serious warp-related shit. Was also never used because [[Counts as|Mandrakes sucked]]. He recently played a major role in the Gathering Storm, saving all of Commorragh from a massive Dysjunction.
*[[Duke Sliscus]], the Pirate Duke who drinks poisons, has all the best drugs, and brings all the bitches to the yard with his gigantic [[Eldrad|cock]]. Almost as insufferable as [[Assholetep]]. Much missed because his contraband rule stopped you from rolling terrible combat drugs, and now this is gone. The rest of his rules weren't particularly special though, so you can still have him using the Archon rules.

===Survivors===
*[[Urien Rakarth]], a hyper-evolved Pavi Largo. Quite possibly the sickest fuck in the galaxy (at the very least a strong contender), and that is really an achievement of unimaginable proportions.
*[[Drazhar]], the Master of Blades, who does not speak and slashes other Incubi to bits from time to time just to throw his weight around. Nobody knows his real name as he just appeared one day out of nowhere, never removes his armor, and probably kills anyone who tries to touch the goods. Many people believe Drazhar is Arhra, An additional piece of <strike>bait</strike> evidence is that his warsuit is much more ancient than any other one available to the incubi cults and pretty much out of their understanding, leading some to think it's -the- original warsuit. Considering Ahra disappeared after getting buttfucked by his successor and disappeared some time before Drazhar showed up, and you can pretty much piece the evidence of the <strike>mystery</strike> thinly veiled "but what if it's not trueeeeeeeee" tactic together.
*[[Lelith Hesperax]], an oversexed gladiatrix/snuff-film porn starlet (srsly, so much implied masturbation in her profile, it's not even funny). Jumped ship to the [[Ynnari]] faction for personal goals.

== Dating a Dark Eldar ==
{| border=2 cellspacing=2 cellpadding=2
|-
! Likes !! Dislikes
|- valign=top
|
* "Playthings"
* Flesh
* Latex
* Leather
* Whips
* Spikes
* Cock and ball torture
* Hardcore, ballbusting Sex
* Drugs
* [[Ork#Rokkas|Rock'n'Roll]]
* S/M
* Holes
* [[Truly_Immovable_Rod|Rods]]
* [[/d/|Other odd fetishes]]
|
* Sunshine
* Lollipops
* Rainbows
* Flowers
* Puppies(that (s)he doesn't get to flay)
* John Denver(same deal)
* Sobriety
* Handholding (unless one of them has been involuntarily detached)
* "Vanilla" sex
* Erectile Dysfunction
* Prudishness
* R&B music
* Weak constitutions
* self-denial
|}

==See Also==
*[[Dark Eldar Kabal Creation Tables]]
*[[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Dark_Eldar (9E)|Tactics on how to play them.]]
*[[The Enshrouded]]

{{Dark Eldar-Characters}}
{{Dark Eldar-Forces}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Dark eldar.jpg|
Image:Commorragh Runner.jpg
Image:40kshock.jpg
Image:Commorragh.jpg|What is up?
File:Blackholeinabox.jpg#file.png|Oh, that wacky Vect.
File:Duke_uses_poison.jpg#file.png|Kill like a DEldar, DEldar.
Image:Dark_Eldar_Combat_Drugs_-_Not_Even_Once_2.png| Combat drugs: Not even once.
Image:Advice_Darkeldar.jpg.jpg|No, no, you got it right the first time.
Image:Wrack by moonskinned-d5tx8oj.jpg|He's only a gimp but he's not that funny.
Image:LynnminwenCD.jpg|Buying this CD is [[Heresy]]! <s>Download it from torrent. </s> {{BLAM|HERESY!}}{{BLAM}}
File:1381591104255.jpg|Lelith Hesperax, right after killing someone and cleaning off the blood.
File:Wych Cat.jpg|Kitty Wych is sexy.
Image:Dark_Eldar.png|...but at least you can't call them quitters! Keep fucking that chicken!
Image:Idealized.jpg|Fucking [[My Little Pony|Pony]] nonsense... Fucking with... Sense of... What were we talking about?
File:Warhammer 40k sisters of battle adeptas sororitas battling Dark Eldar.jpg|If an army of evil space-dominatrices squared off against an army of semi-heroic space nuns, who would win? We don't care its HAWT.. SOON AVAILABLE TO PLAY WITH THE NEW "PIETY AND PAIN" BOX.
File:Wych_Battle.jpg|Some armies clad their dedicated combat units in armor that covers more than areolas and genitals. Some armies are for ''pussies''.
Image:Talos pain engine by moonskinned-d5tx8v6.jpg| "Well, look. I mean, is he gonna be able to chase us? Cause if I woke up lookin' like that, I would just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it."
Image:Inception.jpg|Your daily commute in Commorragh, except everyone's an [[Dwarf Fortress|elf-rapist]], the pistols shoot poison that can kill robots, and the chicks are soul-sucking crack whore gladiators.
Image:Bell_cel_warhammer_sketch_by_elvishprincess25-db0et80.jpg| As I understand it, this is an interesting idea for a crossover...
Image:Dark Eldar DC.png|The crossover you never knew you needed, [[Tau Diplomacy|now throw in the Tau Diplomat who sounds like Starfire]].
Santa Lelith Hesperax 1.jpg|Maybe she'll give you a kiss under the mistletoe, maybe something more, or maybe she'll kill you. Personally, I think it's worth the risk.
Image:Deldar wracks.jpg|So who's the next one to call the Dark Eldar "puny elf weaklings".
</gallery></center>

{{WH40k-Factions}}
{{Template:Important Species in 40k}}
[[Category:Xenos]]

Dark Eldar

2021-03-03T07:47:30Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2: /* COMMORRAGH WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS */

{{Heresy}}
[[Image:Dark_Eldar_Symbol.png‎|center]]
[[Image:Dark Eldar Raid Colored by MajesticChicken.jpg|right|thumb|600px|Mercy? Interesting word, I always wanted to know its meaning.]]
{{Topquote|Cruel people are busy all the time, as if to find justification for the cruelty of their dealings.|Leo Tolstoy}}
{{Topquote|What we were after now was the old surprise visit. That was a real kick, and good for laughs and lashings of the old ultraviolent.|Alex - A Clockwork Orange}}
{{Topquote|Last call for morals! Better cover your drink! Sodom and Gomorrah’d! Let it pour down the sink!|”Front Street” by Will Wood and the Tapeworms (also known as the national anthem for [[Commorragh]])}}

The '''Dark Eldar''' (also known as the '''Drukhari''', cuz trademark reasons) are the villainous, Extra [[Grimdark]], and more BDSM obsessed counterparts of the [[Eldar]], who followed the horrific depravity that saw the Eldar Empire destroyed. Continuing such lovely traditions as mutilation for it's own sake, creative variations of rape, and dedicated polysubstance abuse constitute the Dark Eldar's claim to be the "true" and "traditionalist" Eldar, while disparaging their Craftworld and Exodite kin as having abandoned their grimdark elfiness because said grimdark elfiness caused, you know, the whole [[Fall of the Eldar|goatse-in-the-fabric-of-the-galaxy thing.]] They kind of have a point, but given how they have to suppress their innate psychic natures, lacking an anchor of a world spirit, spirit stone, or Creepy Clown God, and while the Creepy Rape God is trying to nom their soul-stuff they get it back by doing horrible things to others. And each other. And themselves. Truthfully, all of the elfy branches have deviated in their own ways after the Fall, but only the Dark Eldar do so by way of doing even more of the depraved shit that caused the Fall in the first place. So there's something to be said for them being traditionalists, after all; His Grand Spikiness [[Asdrubael Vect]] is hinted at having been around for the last big [[Anal circumference|blowout]] [[Eye of Terror|party]], and Commorragh's [[Urien Rakarth|Chief Surgeon]] is confirmed to have been present for it.

They get away with this in part by living in the byzantine port city [[Commorragh]] in the [[Webway]], spiriting out from the shadows on occasion to take slaves and to commit unspeakable atrocities on whoever they capture. Particularly when they are outside the Webway, they're in constant danger from [[Slaanesh|"She Who Thirsts"]] unless they go on and on in a self-reinforcing, vicious cycle of debauchery. They're the [[Honsou|sickest fucks]] in all of [[Warhammer 40,000]], which is a hell of an accomplishment, even for [[Slaanesh|the literal god of pleasure and excess]]. Their lives revolve around sadistic torture, making them a sort of cross between the Cenobites from Hellraiser and the Reavers from Firefly. They are mainly pirates, though sometimes hire themselves out as mercenaries before they inevitably betray their employers.

Surprisingly, Dark Eldar draw a lot of inspiration from the Fair Folk - not the pussy Disney pixi-fairies, but the [[World of Darkness]]-style inhumanly beautiful monsters that make humans suffer just for their own amusement, kidnap children to turn them into pets/slaves, and run the Wild Hunt that kill maim and rape everything in its wake, vanishing without a trace at dawn. Commonly derided for being the biggest Edge-Lords in the galaxy (or "scene-kid" Eldar), Dark Eldar come across as the only race that's actively trying to ''one-up'' Chaos for title of the universe's most grimdark faction.

For their fantasy counterparts see [[Druchii]].

==History==
The Eldar, after the [[FATAL|disaster]] that caused [[Slaanesh]] and [[Eye of Terror|turned their empire into the universe's biggest Goatse.cx reference]], destroying their race and [[grimdark|killing 90% or so of their population outright]], were a dying race. Slaanesh was devouring their souls like Eldar McNuggets, and it was only through ascetic mysticism and use of Soulstones that the Eldar could avoid getting vored by She Who Thirsts. Conventional wisdom was that these Eldar only survived on craftworlds and the maiden worlds that the Eldar had colonized before the fall, and some of these still fell into genocidal madness (the Blood Angels and Ordo Sinister were needed to destroy one such Craftworld).

[[Dawn of War|Conventional wisdom]], of course, [[C.S.Goto|means little in the 40K universe]]. Whilst most of the Eldar were mass-raped to death by Slaanesh when their falling into depraved cycles of decadence reached critical mass and caused a Chaos god to be born, a few of them survived because they were in parts of the Webway (a portal network that the Eldar use for transportation). They escaped with no real ill-effects, or so they thought. In reality, Slaanesh was slowly nomming their souls just like she does every Eldar without a Soulstone - however, they found that by [[Grimdark|continuing to engage in rampant hedonism and by torturing and inflicting pain and anguish on other creatures would reduce or even reverse the effects of Slaanesh's hold on them]], forcing them to seek out and capture, kill, and torment the "lesser" races of the galaxy in order to satiate themselves and stave off their doom. Which actually seems to be working out pretty well for those deldar who are sick enough fucks, because they wind up being more or less immortal.

Sadistic and psychotic to the point of making your average [[Chaos Space Marines|Chaos Marine]] look like hippies in contrast, hopped up on cocktails of combat stimulant drugs, and armed predominantly with weapons and equipment that cause [[Indrick Boreale|unspeakable immeasurable agony]] in those they go after, the Dark Eldar are easily the most depraved and vicious race the 41st millennium has. Hated by literally every single faction in the 41st millennium, the Dark Eldar are perhaps the only race with [[Anal circumference|bigger assholes]] than [[Eldrad]], though in spite of this, unlike their sissy counterparts, the Dark Eldar are hated much less by the playerbase - presumably because their army actually takes some brains to use and isn't a giant bunch of status-quo-defending [[Eldar|losers]]. Well, that and its implied they use [[/d/|sexual torture]] along with the normal kind.

In battle, Dark Eldar center around hit-and-run tactics, dealing huge damage and moving fast; few of their units can really take much abuse, making them even more fragile than their less edgy counterparts. Their standard infantry armor is identical to that of a Guardian (not terribly good), their vehicles are predominantly lightly-armored transport and attack craft that can be brought down by anti-infantry gunfire, and the armor on a typical Wych or Grotesque is no tougher than the ramshackle metal plating favored by Orks, but without the whole "I believe this armor will protect me, which is why it does" and at absolute best will cover only nipples and vulva, meaning that it would take considerable skill (and a somewhat sadistic shooter) to bounce a round off of their 'armour'. Suffice to say, they are extremely fragile and metaphorically half-naked in battle (literally if female), and getting the most out of them takes skill and patience that is rarely-seen on [[/tg/]]; whilst most fa/tg/uys will openly mock your average Eldar player, they will give pause and show some respect to a Dark Eldar player worth their salt.

The Dark Eldar are known for the ''excessive'' amount of [[Faptau|fapping]] [[Heresy|material]] involved with them, and they are the subject of thousands of sexual fantasies by desperate masochistic teenagers and middle aged neckbeards incapable of handling [[Female Space Marines|real women]]. They did, after all, kind of rape/drug/kill/etc themselves into oblivion, which tends to lend itself towards certain excessive abuses. They are also known for having some of the most fucking awesome-looking models on the tabletop, even if the armor of half of what they field will suffer instant critical existence failure at the hands of your typical [[Space Marine]]. This is pretty standard for all Xenos though.

==Codex Update==
[[File:Dark_Eldar_Safe.jpg|thumb|right|1998-2010 - twelve years of codex blue balls]]
The Dark Eldar, historically, have long been considered the faction for professionals because the army was perceived as being very difficult to use correctly. Their units, while generally quite fast, were almost uniformly fragile; this meant that the army was very intolerant of mistakes on the tabletop. Consequently they were easily the ''least'' played faction in 40k. Nearly 12 years passed before a codex update - but finally, in 2010, [[Games Workshop|GW]] decided to throw Dark Eldar players a much-needed bone.

Sweet [[Emperor|Jesus]], talk about buffs. The new 5th edition Codex changed very little fluff-wise, but the Dark Eldar gained substantial staying power and could actually field a reasonably <s>tough</s> hard-hitting army. The Power from Pain rule made them tougher as they scored kills, and the army also had a lot of potential for being much more forgiving of mistakes (previously it was a case of either steamrolling foes or getting curb-stomped). Lots of new options and extensive access to poisoned range weapons made them extremely versatile - as well as the bane of Tyranid players everywhere.

The 7th edition Codex was a mixed bag, with some serious nerfs. On the downside: Vect, Sliscus, Malys, Decapitator and Baron are no longer playable, though most of them are still mentioned in the fluff. Flickerfields have disappeared from all vehicles except Venoms, and Wyches somehow got ''even'' worse by losing haywire grenades and their gladiator weapons just becoming variants on re-rolling. On the upside, Power From Pain became something that happened to the whole army with the bonuses stacking each turn, rather than having to make mediocre units kill things in order to become useful. Mandrakes actually became half-decent (though still vastly inferior to Incubi & Trueborn), Grotesques no longer exploded when left alone, Talos & Chronos engines came in squads, and Scourges became able to spam more toys.

As of 8th Edition the Dark Eldar have been renamed the 'Drukhari' for copyright reasons. Like most armies in this edition they have their own equivalent of Chapter Tactics, Toughness on vehicles, and varying movement rates. All of these elements are considerable improvements compared to the previous editions. Dark Eldar armies can also gain extra CP for bringing multiple smaller detachments; combine this with the considerable buffs on wyches and Mandrakes, and you've got an army that has the potential to become more popular than ever before! They are still a "glass cannon" army, but are way more forgiving and benefit from both aggressive and conservative playstyles.

==The Dark Eldar Themselves==
[[Image:1287692229240.jpg|thumb|right|A lot like this, really.]]
{{topquote|I came to bring the pain, hardcore from the brain/Let's go inside my astral plane.|Tupac Shakur, Archon of the Wu Tang Kabal}}

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8tvBUfanu0]''''The fall of the eldar to present drukhari''''

The story of the Dark Eldar's fall and their need to inflict pain and horror in order to live - as well as elaboration on their kabalistic practices - have gone a long way towards deepening their fluff considerably (as one noble fa/tg/uy surmised, less retarded Saturday morning cartoon villainy). While some have balked at the more vampiric flavor of the New DE Codex, several denizens of /tg/ have managed to extract comic gold from this. A common musing is that they are ambitious, sex-crazed, easily shot down, boat-and-plane-loving pseudo-aristocrats (although many of the Dark Eldar really are aristocratic) haunted by a dark curse - ergo, they're not vampires, but, in fact, the Kennedys.

Putting it simply, the soul of a Dark Eldar is [[Grimdark|an open wound that can only be salved with suffering, a void that can only be filled with tortured bodies, a thirst that can only be quenched by spilled blood.]] Just like my ex girlfriend!! The origin of this void within the Dark Eldar, and the source of the nigh-religious terror that drives them to commit these daily atrocities, is the knowledge that [[Matt Ward|<s>THEY WILL NEVER BE ULTRAMARINES</s>]] upon death, their soul is forfeit to the Chaos God Slaanesh - an eventuality they intend to stave off at all costs.

Fortunately for the Dark Eldar, provided that someone recovers enough of their remains, their dead body parts can be brought to the Dark Eldar Haemonculi (an ancient order of Dr. Mengeles, the people that educated [[Fabius Bile]] in the art of being a gigantic [[Eldrad|dick]]) and regenerate themselves in case of death, complete with personality and mental faculties intact. This also keeps their soul from being devoured by Slaanesh - but at a price - this regenerative process is fueled by pain just as surely as the Dark Eldar themselves. This is the reason Dark Eldar raids are so eager to get in and get out as fast as possible; [[grimdark|if the subject is dead for more than a day or so, they're beyond recovery]]. (Actually that's a lie the Haemonculi tell their clients so the clients won't risk the truth: any subject can be revived, but the longer it's been dead the more likely the reviving chamber will attract daemons and cause a disjunction/warp storm)

Their diet of anguish has blessed the Dark Eldar with some of the longest lifespans in the setting, only surpassed by godlike figures like the C'tan, Necrons, the [[Emperor|Emprah]], [[Phoenix Lords]] and the Chaos Gods. If they die, they can just respawn back at base once the Haemonculi have managed to torture and/or bosh enough pain out of their subjects to allow the occupants of their rejuvenation pods to regenerate. This system is dependant on the Haemonculi though, and as a result they are the single most crucial group within all of Commorragh. The process gradually has diminishing returns though and truly ancient Dark Eldar will eventually require an ever increasing amount of pain infliction to rejuvenate themselves.

The Dark Eldar have also overcome the traditional [[Gay|Elven birthrate problem]] by finding a fun workaround to the long gestation period of conventional Eldar - they can remove a fertilized ovum and place it in an amniotic tube to age them quickly enough to be useful. This is looked down on by Dark Eldar society however - they even have an elite unit, the Trueborn, that are basically a bunch of spoiled brats who feel entitled to all the good weapons just because they got pushed out of a proper twat (that and the fact that ones born from a tube also get older faster and need to feed on pain more often). The fact that hedonism is the rule in Commorragh probably helps too.

The Dark Eldar have some of the most advanced tech in the 41st millennium, in some cases even surpassing the most powerful weapons of their cousins. Access to weapons that basically fling incandescent dark matter and miniature stars around goes a long way towards giving them serious "I'm going to fuck your shit up" power, and their access to arcane wargear and super-fast vehicles even more so. In fact the only race that comes even close to the technological level and destructive power of the Dark Eldar is the [[Necrons]], whose basic weapon rips the molecules off its target, flaying one layer off at a time (though it's still near-instant). Despite this the majority of the most powerful technology cannot be used by the Dark Eldar anymore as it was psychic in nature, and their psychic abilities have long since atrophied away (truly making them the degenerate Eldar). The little psychic ability that they have left tends to be unimpressive.

All that being said, their continued survival is not as implausible as it might seem at first glance. The Dark Eldar are smart, technologically advanced, quite numerous, and even though they'll fight each other to death over a biscuit in Commorragh, during a raid into Real Space they set aside their differences to [[/tg/ gets shit done|GET SHIT DONE]]. The new codex also points out the Dark Eldar do follow a fairly strict set of rules while fighting each other and running shit; one of the reasons they enjoy raiding realspace is that it allows them to cut loose and just butcher innocents for a while.

It is also worth noting that the closest word Dark Eldar have to the concept of love is something along the lines of willingly submitting one's will to another.

==COMMORRAGH WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS==
[[Image:Dork_Elfdar_Winch.png|thumb|right|My bra is a face. Your argument is invalid.]]
The Dark Eldar live in the Dark City of Commorragh, basically an impossibly large extradimensional port city fueled by two stolen suns (and they made sure to steal suns from inhabited planetary systems, because fuck those guys). Think of a sprawling cross between 17th century Port Royal with Mos Eisley space port (a wretched hive of scum and villainy) with a drug/torture/rape-based economy (Detroit) and the warped architecture of ''Inception''. So watch out, Utica! Commorragh is a city on the... Grow!

Dark Eldar civilisation (if you care to call it such) in Commorragh is mirrored on real life 19th Century Singapore, the Aztecs, and depictions of ancient Rome and Greece at their most decadent and depraved plus the city's namesakes the Cammora clans and Gomorrah from [[religion|Abrahamic Scripture]].

Every Dark Eldar aspires to join a Kabal - an organisation that functions like a mixture of a crime syndicate, a pirate fleet and a classical Italian city state family (i.e the Borgias), the smallest being a couple dozen elves with rifles and the very largest rivalling Craftworlds in military might. Membership in a Kabal brings social security (being in a Kabal basically makes you a made-man so nobody can kill you without reprisal from the rest of the Kabal) and more importantly, the big chance to go out into a realspace raid. Continuing the mafia analogy, Kabals are run by Archons (the godfathers) and his Sybarites (the lieutenants). [[Orks|You advance inside a Kabal by killing the guy above you and then convincing the others over the cooling body of your former superior that you can do a better job.]]

Realspace raids are wrought with risk and success can bring much prestige (and failed raids can cause much losing of political face), so the Dark Eldar have no tolerance for weak and foolish leadership. If you don't fancy the Kabal route, you can try to induct yourself into a Wych Cult (a gladiatorial society) or a Haemonculi Coven (you go to be a bitch-boy assistant for a cackling BDSM lunatic who works in flesh-sculpting). Both are equally valid and valuable components of Dark Eldar society - the Cults provide entertainment and bits of delicious suffering for the masses to savour, and the Covens manage the Dark Eldar's resurrective technologies and torture of slaves. It is not uncommon for larger Cults and Covens to work together with the Kabals on realspace raids, or even conduct their own independent ones.

It goes without saying that Commorragh is extremely dangerous to live in. There are very few laws and violence is an everyday fact of life. However you should abide by a handful:
* First law, [[Heresy|anything relating to psykers or Warp magic in Commorragh is strictly, and I do mean strictly, verboten]]. As that means possibly drawing the attention of [[Slaanesh]] to the Dark City.
* Second law, obey Vect - he is the tog dog in Commorragh, so if he says jump, you jump; if he says piss your pants, you piss your pants.
* Third law, obey the Kabals, unless doing so conflicts with the aforementioned "Don't disobey Vect" law.
* Fourth law, don't fuck around with [[Harlequins]]. That's generally good life advice no matter what race or creed you are, but the Dark City still fosters relations with the ''de facto'' leaders of the Aeldari race, so they enjoy diplomatic immunity, if you will.
* Fifth law, don't kill Scourges, unless your name is Asdrubael Vect.

Apart from that, basically anything goes.

Despite common misconception, Commorragh is not purely an Eldar city - various human and alien mercenaries ply their trade in the Null City, and a burgeoning population of Orks have managed to infest the lower levels. Sometimes they become stars in Commorragh's fighting pits. At least they have universal healthcare, though.

[[Story:A cage, shattered|If you can survive the inhabitants of the Dark City]] there is only one problem. Being in the Webway, every now and then the Dark City will suffer something called a Dysjunction; the Webway/Warp equivalent of a natural disaster which is a more powerful combination of earthquake/firestorm/hurricane that can spread across large parts of the Webway and really wreck Commorragh. In addition, it damages the walls of the Webway, which can allow daemons to invade all across Commorragh. Fortunately, this is rare and only happens during huge bouts of Warp-related turmoil, hence why Dark Eldar are so serious about enforcing the ban of sorcery and psychic power usage inside Commorragh. These Dysjunctions, when they do occur, regularly destroy subrealms of Commorragh.

It's only been invaded thrice. First by Orks (that time with daemons, apart from Dysjunctions, they were summoned into Commorragh) and the second was when Vect, plotting a coup against the ruling Archons, arranged for a ship filled with a few hundred Space Marines (in a shocking change from the norm, the [[Salamanders]], for once; [[Matt Ward]] is rumored to have had the vapors from this, though the Salamanders are frequently depicted as having a huge grudge against the Dark Eldar due to Vulkan's origin story) to be towed to the Dark City. Of course, ''most'' of Commorragh's armed forces fought the Space Marines, who managed to escape with ease. The City was also invaded by the [[Death Guard]] at some point.

[[Lucius]], whilst not invading it, did manage to destroy an entire subrealm of Commorragh and kill so many Dark Eldar it was noted as the largest single loss of Eldar life since [[Eye of Terror|the Fall]], and cowed all of Commorragh into a defensive mode, with Vect and the other leaders powerless to do anything to stop Lucius and his single ship.

Apart from invasions, however, Space Marines have made a frequent habit of entering and exiting it, the Salamanders, [[Space Wolves]] and [[Deathwatch]] all having successfully entered the city and exited alive, along with the [[Emperor's Children]], Deathmongers and Death Guard. In fact there are precious few times Space Marines don't enter and exit Commorragh at their own leisure, and Dark Eldar seem particularly bad at containing them.

Not to be outdone, the Black Legion once laid siege to Comorragh to wipe out one of its great houses. Don't steal from [[Iskandar Khayon]], kids.

==The name==
Despite having been plastered on the boxes and rules for the better half of their existence, the term "Dark Eldar" almost never appears in universe - no one really calls them by that name. Dark Eldar call themselves just Eldar, since they think they are the only true Eldar, inheritors of the old Eldar Empire, while all other are defectors from the true Eldar path (of rape, drugs and rock-n-roll); most will admit they have a point, but whether they're outright correct is a debate for another time. Craftworlders call them the Dark Kin, Exodites call them the Children of [[Khaine]], and Corsairs and Harlequins simply call them Commorites. As for other races, most of them don't know and/or care about the differences between Eldar subraces/cultures, at best distinguishing Commorites (and sometimes Corsairs too) by their MO as as pirates or raiders of Eldar, or by their appearance as Spikey Panzees. About the only people who actually use the term "Dark Eldar" in-universe are some of the Ordo Xenos Inquisitors and their acolytes, and even they also often call them Chaos or Tainted Eldar, mistakenly thinking DEldar are Chaos-worshipers.

The modern name "Drukhari"™ doesn't make much more sense from a DE perspective. If we assume the Eldar lexicon to be based on IRL Celtic languages (some Eldar sentences are ''litteraly'' Irish/Scottish), then "Drukhari"™ would be related to ''drouk'' (Breton) or ''droch'' (Old Irish), from Gaullish ''drucos'' meaning "evil, bad". Something quite weird given how DE are beyond moral considerations, so it's probably a term coined by other Eldar subcultures. (Droch, Drouk, Drucos / Drukos also can mean 'Wheel', 'Circlet', 'Bridge', 'Wet', 'Drown' and 'To Deceive'. It is entirely possible while it's coined by other subcultures, it could be the inhabitants of Commorragh see themselves as 'Eldar of the Dark City', or other Eldar may name them 'The Eldar that Deceive', both of which may feasibly be 'Drukhari'™) Really, though, its just an alteration of the name for Warhammer Fantasy's Dark Elves, Druchii.

The term 'Eladrith Ynneas' (Ee-lad-rith Yin-nee-ah-ss) was coined in 5the ed by Vect shortly after his meteoric rise to power, and is widely considered to sound much cooler than American comedian Drew-Carey.

==Tactics==
The Dark Eldar put a lot of emphasis on lightning fast piratical raids; their vehicles are lightly armoured, but are the fastest available, allowing them to get in and out as quick as possible. They have a lot of units who prefer getting up close and personal, such as Wyches and Incubi, who put emphasis on causing as much pain as possible whilst still getting home in time for tea. This doesn't mean to say they don't have good ranged weaponry; their splinter rifles fire crystalized poison and their blast weapons fire dark matter, completely annihilating anything in their path. In short, all of their weapons are designed to fuck up everything they touch in the most extravagant and painful way possible. Fear, infiltration and sabotage are their main weapons, and usually their enemies don't know they are fighting the Dark Eldar until it's far too late.

The Dark Eldar themselves despise a fair fight. They will use anything at their disposal, and no tactic is too underhanded, no ploy too despicable. They have no code of honor (save for the Incubi) and will do anything as long as they come out on top, which to them is coming away with as many slaves and stolen raw materials as possible. And when they do get home with their booty, they will open their finest wines, sit on thrones made of dead slaves, kick up their heels on living slaves being used as footrests (or just rape them) and twirl their metaphorical handlebar mustaches. Cue evil laugh.

==Special Characters==
At least the Dark Eldar had playable special characters now, before most of the rules were squatted.

===RIP===
*[[Asdrubael Vect| Asdrubael Vect]], the Pimp Master General of Commorragh who's now a manipulator on par with Eldrad (hardly high praise) and, impossibly, an even bigger dick. A tragic loss, he is much missed; his rules helped your army like crazy and made him the deadliest [[Primarch|non-HH]] [[Swarmlord|infantry-sized]] model in 40k, impossible to re-create without lucky rolls on dice and homebrews. Why Games Workshop saw fit to remove Vect from the latest Codex is a mystery as he had a model (based on the out-of-production plastic raider kit) but given the latest trend of shifting some characters off into the Lord of War section, Vect on the Dais of Destruction would've been a nice fit, especially considering that Santa Claws based monstrosity we were given in the Space Wolves codex.
*[[Lady Malys]], an anime villainess and Vect's pissed-off ex. She won [[Daemon|someone's heart]] in a contest and shoved it in her chest. She was ''okay'' as a character so her passing isn't that big a deal. She was also dropped from the rules but still also features heavily all the way through the new codex as the up and coming rival to Vect, her loss was more inexplicable since she could have easily filled the gap of special character Archon, since Succubus & Haemonculi both have theirs; but she was likely cut because she doesn't have a model and GW couldn't be bothered to give her one.
*Kruellagh the Vile, a name too silly even for [[Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader|Rogue Trader]], being based off of "Hundred and One Dalmatians" villain Cruella de Vil. Also her model made her look like a cheesy DC supervillain.
*Lord Hellion [[Baron Sathonyx]], who many on /tg/ believe to be Spider-Man's archnemesis. Was kinda cool for his FOC-shifting abilities with respects to Hellions.
*[[Kheradruakh]] the Decapitator, who, uh, cuts peoples heads off and collects them like beanie babies. Implied to be collecting them like coconuts to do some serious warp-related shit. Was also never used because [[Counts as|Mandrakes sucked]]. He recently played a major role in the Gathering Storm, saving all of Commorragh from a massive Dysjunction.
*[[Duke Sliscus]], the Pirate Duke who drinks poisons, has all the best drugs, and brings all the bitches to the yard with his gigantic [[Eldrad|cock]]. Almost as insufferable as [[Assholetep]]. Much missed because his contraband rule stopped you from rolling terrible combat drugs, and now this is gone. The rest of his rules weren't particularly special though, so you can still have him using the Archon rules.

===Survivors===
*[[Urien Rakarth]], a hyper-evolved Pavi Largo. Quite possibly the sickest fuck in the galaxy (at the very least a strong contender), and that is really an achievement of unimaginable proportions.
*[[Drazhar]], the Master of Blades, who does not speak and slashes other Incubi to bits from time to time just to throw his weight around. Nobody knows his real name as he just appeared one day out of nowhere, never removes his armor, and probably kills anyone who tries to touch the goods. Many people believe Drazhar is Arhra, An additional piece of <strike>bait</strike> evidence is that his warsuit is much more ancient than any other one available to the incubi cults and pretty much out of their understanding, leading some to think it's -the- original warsuit. Considering Ahra disappeared after getting buttfucked by his successor and disappeared some time before Drazhar showed up, and you can pretty much piece the evidence of the <strike>mystery</strike> thinly veiled "but what if it's not trueeeeeeeee" tactic together.
*[[Lelith Hesperax]], an oversexed gladiatrix/snuff-film porn starlet (srsly, so much implied masturbation in her profile, it's not even funny). Jumped ship to the [[Ynnari]] faction for personal goals.

== Dating a Dark Eldar ==
{| border=2 cellspacing=2 cellpadding=2
|-
! Likes !! Dislikes
|- valign=top
|
* "Playthings"
* Flesh
* Latex
* Leather
* Whips
* Spikes
* Cock and ball torture
* Hardcore, ballbusting Sex
* Drugs
* [[Ork#Rokkas|Rock'n'Roll]]
* S/M
* Holes
* [[Truly_Immovable_Rod|Rods]]
* [[/d/|Other odd fetishes]]
|
* Sunshine
* Lollipops
* Rainbows
* Flowers
* Puppies(that (s)he doesn't get to flay)
* John Denver(same deal)
* Sobriety
* Handholding (unless one of them has been involuntarily detached)
* "Vanilla" sex
* Erectile Dysfunction
* Prudishness
* R&B music
* Weak constitutions
* self-denial
|}

==See Also==
*[[Dark Eldar Kabal Creation Tables]]
*[[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Dark_Eldar (9E)|Tactics on how to play them.]]
*[[The Enshrouded]]

{{Dark Eldar-Characters}}
{{Dark Eldar-Forces}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Dark eldar.jpg|
Image:Commorragh Runner.jpg
Image:40kshock.jpg
Image:Commorragh.jpg|What is up?
File:Blackholeinabox.jpg#file.png|Oh, that wacky Vect.
File:Duke_uses_poison.jpg#file.png|Kill like a DEldar, DEldar.
Image:Dark_Eldar_Combat_Drugs_-_Not_Even_Once_2.png| Combat drugs: Not even once.
Image:Advice_Darkeldar.jpg.jpg|No, no, you got it right the first time.
Image:Wrack by moonskinned-d5tx8oj.jpg|He's only a gimp but he's not that funny.
Image:LynnminwenCD.jpg|Buying this CD is [[Heresy]]! <s>Download it from torrent. </s> {{BLAM|HERESY!}}{{BLAM}}
File:1381591104255.jpg|Lelith Hesperax, right after killing someone and cleaning off the blood.
File:Wych Cat.jpg|Kitty Wych is sexy.
Image:Dark_Eldar.png|...but at least you can't call them quitters! Keep fucking that chicken!
Image:Idealized.jpg|Fucking [[My Little Pony|Pony]] nonsense... Fucking with... Sense of... What were we talking about?
File:Warhammer 40k sisters of battle adeptas sororitas battling Dark Eldar.jpg|If an army of evil space-dominatrices squared off against an army of semi-heroic space nuns, who would win? We don't care its HAWT.. SOON AVAILABLE TO PLAY WITH THE NEW "PIETY AND PAIN" BOX.
File:Wych_Battle.jpg|Some armies clad their dedicated combat units in armor that covers more than areolas and genitals. Some armies are for ''pussies''.
Image:Talos pain engine by moonskinned-d5tx8v6.jpg| "Well, look. I mean, is he gonna be able to chase us? Cause if I woke up lookin' like that, I would just run towards the nearest living thing and kill it."
Image:Inception.jpg|Your daily commute in Commorragh, except everyone's an [[Dwarf Fortress|elf-rapist]], the pistols shoot poison that can kill robots, and the chicks are soul-sucking crack whore gladiators.
Image:Bell_cel_warhammer_sketch_by_elvishprincess25-db0et80.jpg| As I understand it, this is an interesting idea for a crossover...
Image:Dark Eldar DC.png|The crossover you never knew you needed, [[Tau Diplomacy|now throw in the Tau Diplomat who sounds like Starfire]].
Santa Lelith Hesperax 1.jpg|Maybe she'll give you a kiss under the mistletoe, maybe something more, or maybe she'll kill you. Personally, I think it's worth the risk.
Image:Deldar wracks.jpg|So who's the next one to call the Dark Eldar "puny elf weaklings".
</gallery></center>

{{WH40k-Factions}}
{{Template:Important Species in 40k}}
[[Category:Xenos]]

Gunnery Sergeant "Stonetooth" Harker

2021-03-03T07:38:49Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2:

[[File:Gunnery Sergeant Harker.jpg|300px|thumb|right|[[Awesome|Look at this motherfucker! LOOK AT HIM!!!]].]]
''"HOW TALL ARE YOU, GUARDSMAN?"'' 
''"SIR, SIX FOOT FOUR, SIR!"'' 
''"WELL, I'LL BE DAMNED, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD STACK SHIT THAT HIGH!"''

''"You're hit man. You're bleeding."'' 
''"I AIN'T GOT TIME TO BLEED!"'' 

'''Gunnery Sergeant "Stonetooth" Harker''' also known as the '''"Stonetooth Devil"''', is a veteran of the [[Catachan]] '''"Green Devils"''' regiment, filled with the elite '''Catachan Devil Squads''' (That's a lot of Devilin'), THE most badass group of motherfuckers on the already badass filled Catachan. He personally leads one of these units, who have been nicknamed '''"Harker's Hellraisers"'''.

While the standard Catachan guardsman is giant and incredibly, insanely buffed beyond belief, Harker takes this ten steps forward. His body and strength is so incredibly massive, manly, and unbelievably tough that it's on par with a [[Space Marine]]'s, only better. For example, he carries and shoots a motherfucking [[Bolter|Heavy Bolter]] as if it was just a pissy little <s>lasgun</s> shotgun AND he's even able to move through the terrain like a scout while carrying that around. Hell, even Space Marines can't do that.

Besides his strength, Harker is also renowned for his toughness, such that he has been known to shrug off blade cuts, gunshot wounds and place his hands into searing flames without so much as flinching. Strangely, the only thing that '''isn't''' supposedly true about him is that he chews glass instead of tobacco, hence his nickname.

Such is his badassery, that weedy little guardsmen across the galaxy tell stories of his heroics to try and instil comfort and bravery during dire situations. Such as the tale of how he got the fuckhuge heavy bolter he carries around, which involved him reaching into the flames of a vaporised Heavy Weapons Team, picking up the insanely hot bolter and then using it to wipe out a horde of Orks (Sound familiar? Search up "John Basilone", and you get a real life equivalent).

One of his most famous exploits was when his squad was ambushed by a pack of [[Tyranid]] Raveners. When his Heavy Bolter was knocked out of his hands after the 'nids suddenly burst from the ground, Harker killed the one trying to kill him '''''by crushing the frigging thing's neck between his massive biceps''''' in record time, giving him enough time to ready his Heavy Bolter and cut the rest of the Raveners down. This deed alone gave him the pass to be in the same Friday night poker table with the likes of [[Straken]], [[Stubbs]], and [[Marbo]].
There is a manly and honoured rivalry between him and sergeant major [[Merrick]] of who is the manliest mother fucker who carry around an heavy bolter, a rivalry who is being disputed through the kills of THOUSANDS of heretics, xenos and demons. Men like this make the emperor cry tears of joy, probably.

Despite being described as the toughest of the tough motherfuckers, his in-game profile lists him as only having Toughness 3 (human average and the same as any other random Guardsmen) because Games Workshop doesn't have time for consistency. He's also listed as being only Strength 4, despite his stunning feats of manliness both on and off the table (he gets Relentless with no explanation on the tabletop). Pre-7th Edition he was also accompanied by his Catachan Devil Squad, who received the same special Infiltration rules as [[Stormtrooper]]s.

==See Also==
*[[Catachan]]
*[[Sly Marbo]]
*[[Colonel "Iron Hand" Straken]]
*[[Arden]]
*[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Basilone John Basilone]
{{Template:IG-Characters}}

Star Wars:The Clone Wars

2021-03-03T06:50:59Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2: /* Season One */

{{awesome}}

{{topquote|Insolence? We are pirates! We don't even know what that means!|Hondo Onaka}}

{{topquote|The Republic couldn't have asked for better soldiers, Nor I a better friend.|Ahsoka Tano}}

'''Star Wars: The Clone Wars''', also known as TCW, is a 3D computer animated cartoon created by Lucasfilm before the days of the dread lord Kathleen Kennedy, and released on Cartoon Network until its cancellation. Despite a rough start (not uncommon for TV shows as they get) the series was incredibly popular for a number of reasons: its dark tone, amazing character development, the entire goddamn clone army and their balls of steel, and generally being what the prequels were trying to be.

[[File:Clonewars.jpeg|thumb|One of the most Kick-Ass Kid’s cartoons in the history of Television]]

The premise is pretty simple: adventures set in the Clone Wars era. This gave us the ability to explore life in all kinds of different ways: willingness to help others during war, the meaning of being a good soldier, the dangers of corporations in government, political tribalism, the evils and justifications of corrupt leaders, crime in nations devoted to total war, and even stuff like the dangers of revenge and touching on the debate of destiny. Most of these are served on the side, while we get some kickass action sequences that would make C.S. Goto greener than a 3-day old Ork with jealousy.

Some tend to pass it as just a kids show due to it being an animated series but doing so would be a mistake: Despite having a low age rating, it deals with topics that most kids would probably not even be able to understand, such as war profiteering, war economy and corruption. Some arcs also get more [[grimdark]], such as an arc dealing with Trandoshans who kidnap children and then set them free on their planet to hunt them for sport, an arc dealing with an empire whose economy is based solely on slave trade and many arcs which deal with war and its consequences. Some bits are also quite violent, with the show being able to keep its low age rating only due to it hiding most of the graphic stuff with camera-angles.

Generally, it is regarded as the best of the animated series released by Lucasfilm. Disney, having realised this, is getting their rears in gear after the disaster that was [[Star Wars:Resistance|Star Wars: Resistance]] and gave us an incredible, harrowing final season... [[Games Workshop|on their own streaming service.]]

==Origins==
The Origins of The Clone Wars were to act primarily as a stop gap series until the next money making idea that George Lucas could create. He got together with a team in order to shill a novel idea: tell the story of the Clone Wars, something that they were never able to do with the movies due to time constraints.

Funnily enough, a man named Dave Filoni (Who had plenty of experience on ATLA and Boondocks before this) created one of the first characters on the show: A young Togruta girl who later became Ahsoka.

Technically, there are two series called similar titles. The first was 2003's ''Star Wars: Clone Wars'', an animated miniseries made by Genndy Tartakovsky (He of Dexter's Lab and [[Samurai Jack]] fame) chronicling, among other things, the titular Clone Wars and introducing a much more sinister General Grievous to the world.

But then we have ''The Clone Wars'', a CGI animated series (and tie-in movie) that we'll be talking about more and contributed more to the EU. One of the most universally known and loved parts of Star Wars, most fans worth their action figures and limited edition movie sets have watched the show and have an opinion on it one way or another. Some of the most notable characteristics are:

* The Clone Troopers are fleshed out, and we see that they are manly motherfuckers who make Guardsmen's balls of steel look like the cardboard their armour is made out of (seriously, in the movie, they literally charge straight into close combat with ''giant armoured walkers with large guns'', jump off roofs to get on top of them to shoot them point blank, and punch droids in the face)
* Anakin Skywalker is actually a good, fleshed out character, with a good voice actor and shows his descent to child-murdering Force-choking asshat wasn't just him going 'welp, guess I'll fall to the Dark Side.' There was a fair amount of bad-cop “it was him or me” murder to get there, along with several pretty significant personal losses and displays of incompetence from his superiors in the Order.
* Introduces Ahsoka Tano, a major character who's a female Togruta Jedi that's well-written, non-OP, non-Mary Sue and doesn't invalidate characters from the movies. Starts off a bit annoying in the Clone Wars movie, but manages to do something truly special: she ''learns''. Over the course of Clone Wars and Rebels, Ahsoka probably has the most character development out of any other Star Wars character.
* Obi-Wan being a sexy one-liner spouting sarcastic badass.
* And many others.

However, there were some pretty derp moments too, such as

* Babysitting episode/movie.
* D-squad, where a bunch of droids become heroes of the Republic.
* Mandalore and how its fluff was basically screwed 180 degrees, and then some. (Skub, depending on your exact POV).
* Droids were comic relief of the first and second seasons. It was annoying.
* Grievous, and how his character went from 'BBEG' to 'Can't beat a Padawan'.

All in all, it was a good show that took some time to find its feet.

After many years, a seventh season was announced in an attempt to take away from ''The Last Jedi'' being shit and add ''something'' to the empty Disney Plus lineup. At least some of the episodes will be ones that were in production when the show ended. It promptly disappeared after that announcement for a couple years till it was announced it was going to come out in 2019. And when it did, it blew pretty much everyone away, with fantastic animation, great storytelling, and a harrowing final few episodes. Maul's speech to Ahsoka in particular is downright chilling when you realize he's 100% sincere, is ''afraid'' of what's coming, and genuinely wants to try and stop it.

==Season One==
Ok...the first Season is a rough patch that has a some golden moments sprinkled throughout. Part of these problems stem from early show stuff, and the limits of their ability to animate. One in particular was a scene where to characters were fist fighting, and looked like two Fire Warriors in a melee phase.

BUT, nonetheless, there were some good episodes and good characterization. Among them were Plo Koon as space Gandalf, Aayla Secura as hot alien chick who now has a voice (Jennifer Hale, [[Awesome|which means Aayla shares a VA with Samus... and gets a sexy French accent]]), the Awesomeness that is sarcastic Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin's voice actor, and the fifth episode of the series, where the clones really shine on their own, some of which later return. Speaking of clones, special note to Dee Bradley Baker, who literally voices dozens of different clones, each with unique Personalities and voices. Did we mention he does this for 7 seasons? No? Well remember that you twit.

==Season Two==
Season two is much better and more watchable than the majority of Season One. Pick a random episode in Season Two, and there is a good chance it is better than almost anything in Season One. Season two is notorious for not only the bounty hunters being a part of no less than three separate storylines, but introduces us to what we would later see out of this series, particularly the Battle of Geonosis arc, which was no less than four episodes of intense, attrition warfare with all the explosions and casualties a die hard fa/tg/uy could ever need, with a special brew of horror on the side to boot.

Another introduction in Season Two is Mandalore, which will become a staple in the rest of the series. The big problem with Mandalore is how it retcons Mandalorians from their original awesome state as warriors to having abandoned that past, and those who embrace that warrior tradition being terrorists. The storyline itself is actually a great political series of episodes with sporadic action, [[Skub|but to fans of the old Mandalorians, it was practically a slap in the face]]. Season Two also did something in one Episode that the entirety of Attack of the Clones couldn't do: show a genuine romance and love between Anakin and Padme.

==Season Three==
This is where things get legit. At this point, the sailing becomes real smooth. It is rare to find a one off episode at this point in the series, as everything is arcs now. Clones from the first season return here, and man do you grow a connection with them. We also get more "criminal underworld" and "political subterfuge" episodes here, which despite not having people getting gunned down in droves, are still entertaining to watch and not overly boring.

Of particular note is that Anakin and Ahsoka start to really come into focus here, with a three episode Arc alone exploring Anakin in a super weird realm called Mortis, with Ahsoka getting her own self contained arc in the Season Finale. [[Awesome|Anakin is able to hold off the equivalent of the Force's Chaos Gods]], while Ahsoka singlehandedly kicks the butt of Trandoshans, coincidentally also introducing fan favourite furball Chewbacca. There are also some moments here that downright sting your heart. Definitely worth suffering through the first season to watch this.

Half-way through the season, the animation also got a major overhaul with new and better models for everything, turning the series from an odd-looking animation to one of the best-looking 3D-animations out there. The best way I would describe it is that it looks like an animated concept art. Seriously, pause at right moments and you always couldn't tell that it's from an animated series.

==Season Four==
Hot dang, this is where stuff gets insane. Not only does the violence escalate substantially, but so does the production quality and storytelling. It's mostly more of the same stuff from Season Three, except for two major, and by association awesome, differences: Umbara, and The Return of Maul. Umbara is unique in that it hammers on on the clones, and looks so good that you might mistake it for a theatrical film if you didn't see it on Cartoon Network. Clones get zapped by what are effectively Necron Gauss weapons, crushed by Necron-battlesuit hybrids, eaten by [[Catachan|wild animals]], serve under [[Commissar|a ruthless new commander who sees them as cannon fodder]]... all the while fighting through it like complete chads with their <s>Mars</s> Kaminoan pattern balls of steel. The other story arcs are fantastic, but Umbara is one of the best, and explores many of the questions seen above at the beginning of the page. It is regarded as one of the best arcs in the show for good reason.

But the return of Maul is... amazing. His entire motivation is revenge, and the way they show Obi-Wan rise above it proves he truly has [[Meme|the high ground]]. Unlike in The Phantom Menace, Maul gets plenty of screen time to be fleshed out as a very talkative, profound character, a trait that will define him for the reminder of his appearances in media, mouse or pre-mouse. He also teams up with his younger brother, the Star Wars equivalent of a Khornate Bezerker, and the two go around cutting through fools like a hot knife through butter.

==Season Five==
Season Five was once supposed to be the last Season, and it really zeroes in on Ahsoka. It shows how she has changed, and even uses General Grievous to show this. It also continues Maul's story, showing how much of a genius he is, and speaks volumes of him as a character. This also introduces us to what will later become the early foundations of the Rebel Alliance in an Arc that takes place on Onderon.

But the finale of this Season is both heart wrenching and awesome at the same time. But lo and behold, shortly after this season was complete, the [[Rage|series was cancelled by Cartoon Network]].

==Season Six==
This is where the Paywalls start, and...yeah. Netflix agreed to take on the Clone Wars for a brief period of time, allowing those diehard fans to watch the last episodes. These episodes are dark, but the focus becomes less on the war, and really hits hard on the themes of the Corruption of the Jedi, the Nature of the Force, and guest Appearances of Mark Hamil and Liam Neeson as Darth Bane and Qui-gon respectively.

This season also sees the end of another fan loved character in what is truly a tragic arc, and Mace Windu and the Temple of Doom. No, we're not joking. Go watch Indiana Jones, then watch this arc. The season also has an arc focusing on Yoda, for the first time since the first episode of the series and this time, we get to see him be the learner, not the master.

Unfortunately, after this season, the series was cancelled again, seemingly for good. As Lucasfilm Animation started to work on [[Star Wars:Rebels]], it seemed as this series will forever lack a true ending. Until six years after cancellation:

==Season Seven==
Beautiful. Assuming you paid the mouse for a Disney + subscription, then you know that it's just about worth every cent you spent. If the reason you got Disney + was to watch this, then you almost certainly got your money's worth from it. The Seventh Season is so good, that we could write a whole page alone on why it works, and why the characterization is far ahead of anything else currently or maybe even ever produced, with only ATLA maybe beating it in regards to animated shows.

There are three separate arcs: An arc for Captain Rex, which introduces a group named Bad Batch, who are getting their own series later. Then there is an arc for Ahsoka that most people will say they hated and yes, considering that this is the last season made years after cancellation of the series, it does feel a bit underwhelming. Finally there is an arc for the both Ahsoka and Rex that takes place before, during, and shortly after Order 66 with major focus on Maul and Mandalore. This arc really makes the series end on a high note as it is arguably the best arc of the whole series, and some might even argue that it overshadows anything done in any of the movies. Special credit goes to Sam Witwer, who's voicework with Darth Maul makes him not only iconic, but hyper-accentuates the dread and horror of Order 66. As if dead kids and Aayla Secura getting full auto'ed in the back wasn't enough.And considering he was the "whiny bitch" from Force Unleashed is doubly awesome.

==Non-Exhaustive List of Awesome==
*Dee Bradley Baker (so many clones with different personalities and he voices them all)
*Clones in general
*Anakin and his Characterization
*Obi-Wan as a one-lining sarcastic chad
*Ahsoka as an actually good female character (''Looking at you [[Heresy|Rey]]'').
*The writing
*The cinematography in general
*The show's embrace of side characters and using them effectively
*Matthew Wood (who voices all the battle droids plus General Grievous, Watt Tambor, Poggle the Lesser and the Senate Guards to boot. Chances are if a non-major male voice isn't Dee Bradley Baker, it's Matthew Wood).
*Admiral Tarkin
*Captain Rex, Fives, Echo all get special recognition as some of the best clones, though there are many good ones.
*Death Watch
*The dark tone and willingness to kill off significant characters.
*Kevin Kiner's scoring of the clone wars music. Some of his work alone rivals anything in the sequels, and destroys most music heard in modern television music composition. TBH the man could get a whole section just for himself.
*Umbara - A perfect marriage of 40K-grade grimdark and Star Wars.
*Dee Bradley Baker (clones are not even the only characters he voices)
*The exploration of the universe. There are single episodes that do more in terms of worldbuilding than the whole sequel trilogy
*Matt Lanter's voice work with Anakin, which is comparable and in some ways better than anything Hayden Christensen ever did.
*Plo Koon
*Darth Maul
*Sam Witwer
*Mace Motherfucking Windu showing off as a total chad and proving why he's a master. Imagine if there was someone as badass as Vader but for the good guys and that's basically what he is in this series.
*Cad Bane (AKA Chad, which one character actually calls him in the show... albeit mispronouncing "Cad", but still), the galaxy's best bounty hunter with Jango dead and Boba still an inexperienced kid. The character's also a love letter to fans of old westerns, doesn't take crap from anyone and provides one of the Indiana Jones references mentioned below.
*Battle Of Ryloth
*Mandalore
*The Indiana Jones references. Seriously, I dare you, go find the ones I'm thinking of, there is one in Season three and another in Season four and one more in Season six.
*Did we mention Dee Bradley Baker (seriously, some Umbaran episodes have several characters and he plays all but one of them)?
*Zygerria as space Mesopatamian slavers
*Hondo Ohnaka being a Magnificent Bastard
*Shaak Ti hammering home the 'Clones are developed characters too' thing.
*The Bad Batch. Imagine a squad of [[Vindicare]], [[Eversor]] and [[Vanus]] Assassins, led by clone trooper Rambo.
*Savage Oppress. Darth Maul's brother, he allowed for Darth Maul's return and was a truly sympathetic character you can always feel bad for even despite the atrocities he commits.
*Darth Sidious is the scariest badass in the galaxy.

==The Bad==
There is no bad. {{BLAM|Heresy.}}

Fine. For all that the Clone Wars did right, there are at least a dozen things they did wrong. One of the most obvious of these is Grievous. Now for context, in the Original Clone Wars, Grievous was a killing machine who cut through Jedi like a power sword through a Fire Warrior; his initial reveal had him bulldoze four Jedi Masters in a four-on-one duel (all without revealing his second pair of arms), to the point where Mace Windu himself was only able to stop him by using a Dark Side technique to ''crush Grievous' organs''. He was genuinely terrifying, and Revenge of the Sith had a (sadly deleted) scene where he killed a Jedi to show how strong he was. But in this Clone Wars, he was a tactically incompetent Saturday morning cartoon villain, right down to killing his flunkies for bringing him bad news, being completely unable to win, and generally being used as a beatstick for the hero of the week. Granted, Grievous did have his victories, but they were too few and far between to make up for the initial five seasons worth of [[Fail]]. When he can't even kill a Padawan in his second to last appearance in Season One, you know something is wrong.

Another problem with this show was that unlike Avatar, the production quality could be all over the place. In fact, what many fans agree to be the worst arc in the series are in the fifth season, and many tend to think the second worst is in the seventh. This can be applied in some capacity to every season, and though it doesn't detract from the overall quality, we wouldn't be proper fans if we didn't [[Neckbeard|criticize absolutely everything]]!

There are also some more minor gripes like terrible aim (so bad at times that it makes stormtroopers in A New Hope look like [[Vindicare|Vindicare Assassins]] by comparison), the existence of shields being ignored constantly, people punching and kicking droids and people wearing armour [[derp|(even though Obi-Wan tried that in Revenge of the Sith and hurt his shin as a result)]], [[what|B1 battledroids head apparently being so poorly attached to the body that you can rip it off with your bare hands]] and LAATs not using their massive arsenal of weapons ([[FAIL|there is even a scene where troopers inside the ship fire their weapons instead of the LAAT using its own weapons]]). Thankfully as with most issues in the series, these got less prevalent as the series went on.

Finally there is the thing that although the Clone Wars was a relatively morally gray conflict in the [[fluff]], where the Separatists became Separatists because they were tired of the corruption and ineffectiveness of the Republic, in the series the Republic side is almost always portrayed as heroic while the separatists are sometimes portrayed as moustache-twirling villains. In the first season, we have Grievous and Ventress killing their allies when they feel like it, an incendiary weapon which completely destroys everything that lives while sparing anything that doesn't (highly effective for an army composed primarily of droids) being taken for a test run on a pacifist village who wish to remain neutral, and a mad scientist who redevelops an exterminated virus (he even says the virus was 'murdered' despite his apathy for other people's lives) and develops it further into an airborne bioweapon. Even the attempt in season 3 to try and humanize the Separatists falls a little flat when you see the war crimes the Separatists regularly commit. Thankfully, this issue becomes less common as the series progresses and is almost non-existent towards the end of the series.

Also "Jedi Cruiser" was always a dumb term for a ship but hearing characters actually say it in universe is just so much worse.

{{Star Wars}}

Star Wars:The Mandalorian

2021-03-03T06:49:24Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2:

[[Image:The_mandalorian.jpg|right|200px|thumb|[[Goblin Slayer|''Bounties?'']]]]
Because Disney didn't have enough money, they decided to try their hand at streaming services (despite already owning Hulu), and created Disney+ as a collection of their shows and movies. And with any streaming service, you need a flagship title. Thus, ''The Mandalorian'', the first live action Star Wars television series.

The show itself lives and breaths off your nostalgia for the Fetts, giving you a new lead character wearing the cool ass armor, bounty hunting, getting in gunfights, et cetera. The show's set five years after ''Return of the Jedi'', and leans into spaghetti western's so hard you wonder why Clint Eastwood hasn't shown up (John Wayne's grandson does do much of the stunt work for the titular character). Whether you like this show pretty much comes down to the question of can you accept [[Goblin Slayer|a show where the main character's face is never seen]] and whose name is almost never spoken (probably, considering this site's demographics), and can you stand a story wrapped entirely around the finger of a baby yoda who is the most well know spoiler since (joke.exe).

If you like the 2012 [[Judge Dredd]] movie you will like the show. It also might be one of the closest depictions of a Space Marine we are going to get for the foreseeable future on the "big screen". The Mandalorians (this group at least) have become almost a cult regarding "The Way," their warrior code. Highlights include a [[Looted]] [[All_Terrain_Soup|AT-ST]], getting to watch a [[Men_of_Iron|IG-11]] aimbot entire groups of hostiles multiple times (hell just watching IG-11 ''move'' is amazing), and an episode shot like a horror film except that [[awesome|the protagonist is the hunter]]. The final two episodes are a callback to almost every episode except "The Prisoner" & "The Gunslinger" and numerous characters return and get to be their own brand of awesome. The show also brought back the old style Mandalorians - it's a creed and a way of life, not a species or race. You are a Mandalorian because you chose to be, and because you follow the Mandalorian code, not because you're born that way.

There are several hiccups in writing but those might be smoothed out later, or can just be written off as the galaxy being just that big and individuals not having the same info as the audience. Overall it is the most well received addition to Star Wars since ''Empire''. With the show actually understanding why and how certain reveals should work, ie. not making there be anything special to us (the audience) about the Mandalorian's face/name, it is special because of his code not because he has laser eyes or something.

A second season (it was inevitable) was announced in November 2019, finished filming in March 2020 and arrived on Disney+ in October 2020. Several characters from elsewhere in the franchise such as Boba Fett, Bo-Katan (Duchess Satine’s redhead sister from the Clone Wars, who also happens to be the last known wielder of the Darksaber before Moff Gideon turned up with it in the final episode of season 1) and Ahsoka Tano have made appearances, plus Luke Skywalker himself showed up in the final episode of Season 2.

A third season is slated but is in serious doubt due to conflicts between Disney staff [[SJW|fixated on identity politics]] and those who just want to make good Star Wars works, the former centered around Lucasfilm President <s>Sauron</s> Kathleen Kennedy and the latter around the show's director Jon Favreau. Things came to a head with Kathleen's group carrying out the politically-motivated firing of Cara Dune's actress, Gina Carano ([[That Guy|even going as far as to tell everybody that Gina had been fired... except Gina herself]]). Around this time, lead actor Pedro Pascal was approached for a major role in a series adaptation of the video game series "The Last of Us". Between these two events and the growing [[Skub|ideological strife]] within Disney, the future of the show is in flux.

==Non-Exhaustive List of Awesome==
{{spoilers}}
*Mando/Din Djarin is a cool protagonist and Pedro Pascal manages to play him really well despite having his face hidden behind a helmet most of the time
*Baby Yoda/The Child/Grogu
*IG-11
*Moff Gideon, played by Giancarlo Esposito of Breaking Bad-fame, as the main villain
*Several good strong female characters showing Rey how it's meant to be done, from returning favorites like Bo-Katan to newcomers like Cara Dune.
*Mando's ship, the Razor Crest
*Callbacks to Mandalorian-related things from [[Star Wars:The Clone Wars]] and [[Star Wars:Rebels]]
*Live action debut of Ahsoka Tano
*Return of Boba Fett. He is a Mandalorian and the thing about Almec saying Fetts aren't Mandalorian in TCW (he was clearly biased against them due to his position) is now set to rest.
*Worldbuilding
*Redesign of TIE Fighter with folding wings
*Brings aspects from the old EU into Disney Canon
*Shows that the Empire didn't just disappear overnight and that there are still remnants out there
*Clearly made by people who love and understand Star Wars
*Dark Troopers. If you thought all battledroids are just cannon fodder relying on their numbers to win, think again. Dark Troopers are basically Terminators and can be genuinely terrifying. Not only are they blaster-proof, they can also fly using rocket boosters.
*Tons and tons of fan service
*Luke Skywalker makes an appearance, not the old grumpy disgrace we saw in The Last Jedi but Grandmaster Luke Skywalker
*Makes use of some pretty groundbreaking special effects techniques, continuing the Star Wars tradition of trying to push special effects to new levels. Bye bye greenscreens, hello future. <ref>https://www.starwars.com/news/the-mandalorian-stagecraft-feature</ref> (see more below)
*Has single-handedly restored hope in the franchise after many had lost it due to the sequel trilogy

== Almost-Holodeck Soundstage ==

So we mentioned above there is new special effects in play here. The Mandalorian makes use of a brand new soundstage that consists of a large circle of extremely high resolution LED screens surrounding the actors on almost all sides, projecting distant scenery rendered in real time with Unreal Engine, controlled by the camera's movement. This can be shot directly by the camera, with a computer figuring out the compositing later with a higher quality render for the final cut.

The biggest impact it has is on reflections and ambient lighting on the subjects. Using conventional green screen tech, getting the lighting to match the setting is quite difficult, and getting reflections requires extensive post production work to the point of not being practical in most cases. With the screen set used for Mandalorian, any reflections on metal surfaces (such as shiny, polished armor) are natural and the lighting of the final composite shot will PERFECTLY match the principal photography.

==Bad qualities==
*Some episodes can feel like filler
*It's not [[Star Wars:Rebels]] but bad guys can still sometimes feel pretty incompetent.
*While not overrused, baby Yoda can be grating to those who despise "cute".

{{Star Wars}}

Star Wars:The Mandalorian

2021-03-03T03:27:14Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2:

[[Image:The_mandalorian.jpg|right|200px|thumb|[[Goblin Slayer|''Bounties?'']]]]
Because Disney didn't have enough money, they decided to try their hand at streaming services (despite already owning Hulu), and created Disney+ as a collection of their shows and movies. And with any streaming service, you need a flagship title. Thus, ''The Mandalorian'', the first live action Star Wars television series.

The show itself lives and breaths off your nostalgia for the Fetts, giving you a new lead character wearing the cool ass armor, bounty hunting, getting in gunfights, et cetera. The show's set five years after ''Return of the Jedi'', and leans into spaghetti western's so hard you wonder why Clint Eastwood hasn't shown up (John Wayne's grandson does do much of the stunt work for the titular character). Whether you like this show pretty much comes down to the question of can you accept [[Goblin Slayer|a show where the main character's face is never seen]] and whose name is almost never spoken (probably, considering this site's demographics), and can you stand a story wrapped entirely around the finger of a baby yoda who is the most well know spoiler since (joke.exe).

If you like the 2012 [[Judge Dredd]] movie you will like the show. It also might be one of the closest depictions of a Space Marine we are going to get for the foreseeable future on the "big screen". The Mandalorians (this group at least) have become almost a cult regarding "The Way," their warrior code. Highlights include a [[Looted]] [[All_Terrain_Soup|AT-ST]], getting to watch a [[Men_of_Iron|IG-11]] aimbot entire groups of hostiles multiple times (hell just watching IG-11 ''move'' is amazing), and an episode shot like a horror film except that [[awesome|the protagonist is the hunter]]. The final two episodes are a callback to almost every episode except "The Prisoner" & "The Gunslinger" and numerous characters return and get to be their own brand of awesome. The show also brought back the old style Mandalorians - it's a creed and a way of life, not a species or race. You are a Mandalorian because you chose to be, and because you follow the Mandalorian code, not because you're born that way.

There are several hiccups in writing but those might be smoothed out later, or can just be written off as the galaxy being just that big and individuals not having the same info as the audience. Overall it is the most well received addition to Star Wars since ''Empire''. With the show actually understanding why and how certain reveals should work, ie. not making there be anything special to us (the audience) about the Mandalorian's face/name, it is special because of his code not because he has laser eyes or something.

A second season (it was inevitable) was announced in November 2019, finished filming in March 2020 and arrived on Disney+ in October 2020. Several characters from elsewhere in the franchise such as Boba Fett, Bo-Katan (Duchess Satine’s redhead sister from the Clone Wars, who also happens to be the last known wielder of the Darksaber before Moff Gideon turned up with it in the final episode of season 1) and Ahsoka Tano have made appearances, plus Luke Skywalker himself showed up in the final episode of Season 2.

A third season is slated but is in serious doubt due to conflicts between Disney staff [[SJW|fixated on identity politics]] and those who want to just make good Star Wars works, the former rallying around Lucasfilm President <s>Sauron</s> Kathleen Kennedy and the latter rallying around the show's director Jon Favreau. Things came to a head with Kathleen's group carrying out the politically-motivated firing of Cara Dune's actress, Gina Carano ([[That Guy|even going as far as to tell everybody that Gina had been fired... except Gina herself]]). Around this time, lead actor Pedro Pascal was considering a series adaptation of the video game series "The Last of Us". Between these two events and the growing [[Skub|ideological strife]] within Disney, the future of the show is in flux.

==Non-Exhaustive List of Awesome==
{{spoilers}}
*Mando/Din Djarin is a cool protagonist and Pedro Pascal manages to play him really well despite having his face hidden behind a helmet most of the time
*Baby Yoda/The Child/Grogu
*IG-11
*Moff Gideon, played by Giancarlo Esposito of Breaking Bad-fame, as the main villain
*Several good strong female characters showing Rey how it's meant to be done, from returning favorites like Bo-Katan to newcomers like Cara Dune.
*Mando's ship, the Razor Crest
*Callbacks to Mandalorian-related things from [[Star Wars:The Clone Wars]] and [[Star Wars:Rebels]]
*Live action debut of Ahsoka Tano
*Return of Boba Fett. He is a Mandalorian and the thing about Almec saying Fetts aren't Mandalorian in TCW (he was clearly biased against them due to his position) is now set to rest.
*Worldbuilding
*Redesign of TIE Fighter with folding wings
*Brings aspects from the old EU into Disney Canon
*Shows that the Empire didn't just disappear overnight and that there are still remnants out there
*Clearly made by people who love and understand Star Wars
*Dark Troopers. If you thought all battledroids are just cannon fodder relying on their numbers to win, think again. Dark Troopers are basically Terminators and can be genuinely terrifying. Not only are they blaster-proof, they can also fly using rocket boosters.
*Tons and tons of fan service
*Luke Skywalker makes an appearance, not the old grumpy disgrace we saw in The Last Jedi but Grandmaster Luke Skywalker
*Makes use of some pretty groundbreaking special effects techniques, continuing the Star Wars tradition of trying to push special effects to new levels. Bye bye greenscreens, hello future. <ref>https://www.starwars.com/news/the-mandalorian-stagecraft-feature</ref> (see more below)
*Has single-handedly restored hope in the franchise after many had lost it due to the sequel trilogy

== Almost-Holodeck Soundstage ==

So we mentioned above there is new special effects in play here. The Mandalorian makes use of a brand new soundstage that consists of a large circle of extremely high resolution LED screens surrounding the actors on almost all sides, projecting distant scenery rendered in real time with Unreal Engine, controlled by the camera's movement. This can be shot directly by the camera, with a computer figuring out the compositing later with a higher quality render for the final cut.

The biggest impact it has is on reflections and ambient lighting on the subjects. Using conventional green screen tech, getting the lighting to match the setting is quite difficult, and getting reflections requires extensive post production work to the point of not being practical in most cases. With the screen set used for Mandalorian, any reflections on metal surfaces (such as shiny, polished armor) are natural and the lighting of the final composite shot will PERFECTLY match the principal photography.

==Bad qualities==
*Some episodes can feel like filler
*It's not [[Star Wars:Rebels]] but bad guys can still sometimes feel pretty incompetent.
*While not overrused, baby Yoda can be grating to those who despise "cute".

{{Star Wars}}

Star Wars:The Mandalorian

2021-03-03T03:20:06Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2:

[[Image:The_mandalorian.jpg|right|200px|thumb|[[Goblin Slayer|''Bounties?'']]]]
Because Disney didn't have enough money, they decided to try their hand at streaming services (despite already owning Hulu), and created Disney+ as a collection of their shows and movies. And with any streaming service, you need a flagship title. Thus, ''The Mandalorian'', the first live action Star Wars television series.

The show itself lives and breaths off your nostalgia for the Fetts, giving you a new lead character wearing the cool ass armor, bounty hunting, getting in gunfights, et cetera. The show's set five years after ''Return of the Jedi'', and leans into spaghetti western's so hard you wonder why Clint Eastwood hasn't shown up (John Wayne's grandson does do much of the stunt work for the titular character). Whether you like this show pretty much comes down to the question of can you accept [[Goblin Slayer|a show where the main character's face is never seen]] and whose name is almost never spoken (probably, considering this site's demographics), and can you stand a story wrapped entirely around the finger of a baby yoda who is the most well know spoiler since (joke.exe).

If you like the 2012 [[Judge Dredd]] movie you will like the show. It also might be one of the closest depictions of a Space Marine we are going to get for the foreseeable future on the "big screen". The Mandalorians (this group at least) have become almost a cult regarding "The Way," their warrior code. Highlights include a [[Looted]] [[All_Terrain_Soup|AT-ST]], getting to watch a [[Men_of_Iron|IG-11]] aimbot entire groups of hostiles multiple times (hell just watching IG-11 ''move'' is amazing), and an episode shot like a horror film except that [[awesome|the protagonist is the hunter]]. The final two episodes are a callback to almost every episode except "The Prisoner" & "The Gunslinger" and numerous characters return and get to be their own brand of awesome. The show also brought back the old style Mandalorians - it's a creed and a way of life, not a species or race. You are a Mandalorian because you chose to be, and because you follow the Mandalorian code, not because you're born that way.

There are several hiccups in writing but those might be smoothed out later, or can just be written off as the galaxy being just that big and individuals not having the same info as the audience. Overall it is the most well received addition to Star Wars since ''Empire''. With the show actually understanding why and how certain reveals should work, ie. not making there be anything special to us (the audience) about the Mandalorian's face/name, it is special because of his code not because he has laser eyes or something.

A second season (it was inevitable) was announced in November 2019, finished filming in March 2020 and arrived on Disney+ in October 2020. Several characters from elsewhere in the franchise such as Boba Fett, Bo-Katan (Duchess Satine’s redhead sister from the Clone Wars, who also happens to be the last known wielder of the Darksaber before Moff Gideon turned up with it in the final episode of season 1) and Ahsoka Tano have made appearances, plus Luke Skywalker himself showed up in the final episode of Season 2.

A third season is slated but is in serious doubt due to conflicts between Disney staff [[SJW|fixated on identity politics]] and those who want to just make good Star Wars works, the former rallying around Lucasfilm President <s>Sauron</s> Kathleen Kennedy and the latter rallying around the show's director Jon Favreau. Things came to a head with Kathleen's group carrying out the politically-motivated firing of Cara Dune's actress, Gina Carano ([[That Guy|even going as far as to tell everybody but Gina herself that she'd been fired]]). Around this time, lead actor Pedro Pascal was considering a series adaptation of the video game series "The Last of Us". Between these two events and the growing [[Skub|ideological strife]] within Disney, the future of the show is in flux.

==Non-Exhaustive List of Awesome==
{{spoilers}}
*Mando/Din Djarin is a cool protagonist and Pedro Pascal manages to play him really well despite having his face hidden behind a helmet most of the time
*Baby Yoda/The Child/Grogu
*IG-11
*Moff Gideon, played by Giancarlo Esposito of Breaking Bad-fame, as the main villain
*Several good strong female characters showing Rey how it's meant to be done, from returning favorites like Bo-Katan to newcomers like Cara Dune.
*Mando's ship, the Razor Crest
*Callbacks to Mandalorian-related things from [[Star Wars:The Clone Wars]] and [[Star Wars:Rebels]]
*Live action debut of Ahsoka Tano
*Return of Boba Fett. He is a Mandalorian and the thing about Almec saying Fetts aren't Mandalorian in TCW (he was clearly biased against them due to his position) is now set to rest.
*Worldbuilding
*Redesign of TIE Fighter with folding wings
*Brings aspects from the old EU into Disney Canon
*Shows that the Empire didn't just disappear overnight and that there are still remnants out there
*Clearly made by people who love and understand Star Wars
*Dark Troopers. If you thought all battledroids are just cannon fodder relying on their numbers to win, think again. Dark Troopers are basically Terminators and can be genuinely terrifying. Not only are they blaster-proof, they can also fly using rocket boosters.
*Tons and tons of fan service
*Luke Skywalker makes an appearance, not the old grumpy disgrace we saw in The Last Jedi but Grandmaster Luke Skywalker
*Makes use of some pretty groundbreaking special effects techniques, continuing the Star Wars tradition of trying to push special effects to new levels. Bye bye greenscreens, hello future. <ref>https://www.starwars.com/news/the-mandalorian-stagecraft-feature</ref> (see more below)
*Has single-handedly restored hope in the franchise after many had lost it due to the sequel trilogy

== Almost-Holodeck Soundstage ==

So we mentioned above there is new special effects in play here. The Mandalorian makes use of a brand new soundstage that consists of a large circle of extremely high resolution LED screens surrounding the actors on almost all sides, projecting distant scenery rendered in real time with Unreal Engine, controlled by the camera's movement. This can be shot directly by the camera, with a computer figuring out the compositing later with a higher quality render for the final cut.

The biggest impact it has is on reflections and ambient lighting on the subjects. Using conventional green screen tech, getting the lighting to match the setting is quite difficult, and getting reflections requires extensive post production work to the point of not being practical in most cases. With the screen set used for Mandalorian, any reflections on metal surfaces (such as shiny, polished armor) are natural and the lighting of the final composite shot will PERFECTLY match the principal photography.

==Bad qualities==
*Some episodes can feel like filler
*It's not [[Star Wars:Rebels]] but bad guys can still sometimes feel pretty incompetent.
*While not overrused, baby Yoda can be grating to those who despise "cute".

{{Star Wars}}

Star Wars:The Mandalorian

2021-03-03T03:18:56Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2:

[[Image:The_mandalorian.jpg|right|200px|thumb|[[Goblin Slayer|''Bounties?'']]]]
Because Disney didn't have enough money, they decided to try their hand at streaming services (despite already owning Hulu), and created Disney+ as a collection of their shows and movies. And with any streaming service, you need a flagship title. Thus, ''The Mandalorian'', the first live action Star Wars television series.

The show itself lives and breaths off your nostalgia for the Fetts, giving you a new lead character wearing the cool ass armor, bounty hunting, getting in gunfights, et cetera. The show's set five years after ''Return of the Jedi'', and leans into spaghetti western's so hard you wonder why Clint Eastwood hasn't shown up (John Wayne's grandson does do much of the stunt work for the titular character). Whether you like this show pretty much comes down to the question of can you accept [[Goblin Slayer|a show where the main character's face is never seen]] and whose name is almost never spoken (probably, considering this site's demographics), and can you stand a story wrapped entirely around the finger of a baby yoda who is the most well know spoiler since (joke.exe).

If you like the 2012 [[Judge Dredd]] movie you will like the show. It also might be one of the closest depictions of a Space Marine we are going to get for the foreseeable future on the "big screen". The Mandalorians (this group at least) have become almost a cult regarding "The Way," their warrior code. Highlights include a [[Looted]] [[All_Terrain_Soup|AT-ST]], getting to watch a [[Men_of_Iron|IG-11]] aimbot entire groups of hostiles multiple times (hell just watching IG-11 ''move'' is amazing), and an episode shot like a horror film except that [[awesome|the protagonist is the hunter]]. The final two episodes are a callback to almost every episode except "The Prisoner" & "The Gunslinger" and numerous characters return and get to be their own brand of awesome. The show also brought back the old style Mandalorians - it's a creed and a way of life, not a species or race. You are a Mandalorian because you chose to be, and because you follow the Mandalorian code, not because you're born that way.

There are several hiccups in writing but those might be smoothed out later, or can just be written off as the galaxy being just that big and individuals not having the same info as the audience. Overall it is the most well received addition to Star Wars since ''Empire''. With the show actually understanding why and how certain reveals should work, ie. not making there be anything special to us (the audience) about the Mandalorian's face/name, it is special because of his code not because he has laser eyes or something.

A second season (it was inevitable) was announced in November 2019, finished filming in March 2020 and arrived on Disney+ in October 2020. Several characters from elsewhere in the franchise such as Boba Fett, Bo-Katan (Duchess Satine’s redhead sister from the Clone Wars, who also happens to be the last known wielder of the Darksaber before Moff Gideon turned up with it in the final episode of season 1) and Ahsoka Tano have made appearances, plus Luke Skywalker himself showed up in the final episode of Season 2.

A third season is slated but is in serious doubt due to conflicts between Disney staff [[SJW|fixated on identity politics]] and those who want to just make good Star Wars films, the latter rallying around the show's director Jon Favreau and the former rallying around Lucasfilm President <s>Sauron</s> Kathleen Kennedy. Things came to a head with Kathleen's group carrying out the politically-motivated firing of Cara Dune's actress, Gina Carano ([[That Guy|even going as far as to tell everybody but Gina herself that she was fired]]). Around this time, lead actor Pedro Pascal was considering a series adaptation of the video game series "The Last of Us". Between these two events and the growing [[Skub|ideological strife]] within Disney, the future of the show is in flux.

==Non-Exhaustive List of Awesome==
{{spoilers}}
*Mando/Din Djarin is a cool protagonist and Pedro Pascal manages to play him really well despite having his face hidden behind a helmet most of the time
*Baby Yoda/The Child/Grogu
*IG-11
*Moff Gideon, played by Giancarlo Esposito of Breaking Bad-fame, as the main villain
*Several good strong female characters showing Rey how it's meant to be done, from returning favorites like Bo-Katan to newcomers like Cara Dune.
*Mando's ship, the Razor Crest
*Callbacks to Mandalorian-related things from [[Star Wars:The Clone Wars]] and [[Star Wars:Rebels]]
*Live action debut of Ahsoka Tano
*Return of Boba Fett. He is a Mandalorian and the thing about Almec saying Fetts aren't Mandalorian in TCW (he was clearly biased against them due to his position) is now set to rest.
*Worldbuilding
*Redesign of TIE Fighter with folding wings
*Brings aspects from the old EU into Disney Canon
*Shows that the Empire didn't just disappear overnight and that there are still remnants out there
*Clearly made by people who love and understand Star Wars
*Dark Troopers. If you thought all battledroids are just cannon fodder relying on their numbers to win, think again. Dark Troopers are basically Terminators and can be genuinely terrifying. Not only are they blaster-proof, they can also fly using rocket boosters.
*Tons and tons of fan service
*Luke Skywalker makes an appearance, not the old grumpy disgrace we saw in The Last Jedi but Grandmaster Luke Skywalker
*Makes use of some pretty groundbreaking special effects techniques, continuing the Star Wars tradition of trying to push special effects to new levels. Bye bye greenscreens, hello future. <ref>https://www.starwars.com/news/the-mandalorian-stagecraft-feature</ref> (see more below)
*Has single-handedly restored hope in the franchise after many had lost it due to the sequel trilogy

== Almost-Holodeck Soundstage ==

So we mentioned above there is new special effects in play here. The Mandalorian makes use of a brand new soundstage that consists of a large circle of extremely high resolution LED screens surrounding the actors on almost all sides, projecting distant scenery rendered in real time with Unreal Engine, controlled by the camera's movement. This can be shot directly by the camera, with a computer figuring out the compositing later with a higher quality render for the final cut.

The biggest impact it has is on reflections and ambient lighting on the subjects. Using conventional green screen tech, getting the lighting to match the setting is quite difficult, and getting reflections requires extensive post production work to the point of not being practical in most cases. With the screen set used for Mandalorian, any reflections on metal surfaces (such as shiny, polished armor) are natural and the lighting of the final composite shot will PERFECTLY match the principal photography.

==Bad qualities==
*Some episodes can feel like filler
*It's not [[Star Wars:Rebels]] but bad guys can still sometimes feel pretty incompetent.
*While not overrused, baby Yoda can be grating to those who despise "cute".

{{Star Wars}}

Star Wars:The Mandalorian

2021-03-03T03:13:09Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2:

[[Image:The_mandalorian.jpg|right|200px|thumb|[[Goblin Slayer|''Bounties?'']]]]
Because Disney didn't have enough money, they decided to try their hand at streaming services (despite already owning Hulu), and created Disney+ as a collection of their shows and movies. And with any streaming service, you need a flagship title. Thus, ''The Mandalorian'', the first live action Star Wars television series.

The show itself lives and breaths off your nostalgia for the Fetts, giving you a new lead character wearing the cool ass armor, bounty hunting, getting in gunfights, et cetera. The show's set five years after ''Return of the Jedi'', and leans into spaghetti western's so hard you wonder why Clint Eastwood hasn't shown up (John Wayne's grandson does do much of the stunt work for the titular character). Whether you like this show pretty much comes down to the question of can you accept [[Goblin Slayer|a show where the main character's face is never seen]] and whose name is almost never spoken (probably, considering this site's demographics), and can you stand a story wrapped entirely around the finger of a baby yoda who is the most well know spoiler since (joke.exe).

If you like the 2012 [[Judge Dredd]] movie you will like the show. It also might be one of the closest depictions of a Space Marine we are going to get for the foreseeable future on the "big screen". The Mandalorians (this group at least) have become almost a cult regarding "The Way," their warrior code. Highlights include a [[Looted]] [[All_Terrain_Soup|AT-ST]], getting to watch a [[Men_of_Iron|IG-11]] aimbot entire groups of hostiles multiple times (hell just watching IG-11 ''move'' is amazing), and an episode shot like a horror film except that [[awesome|the protagonist is the hunter]]. The final two episodes are a callback to almost every episode except "The Prisoner" & "The Gunslinger" and numerous characters return and get to be their own brand of awesome. The show also brought back the old style Mandalorians - it's a creed and a way of life, not a species or race. You are a Mandalorian because you chose to be, and because you follow the Mandalorian code, not because you're born that way.

There are several hiccups in writing but those might be smoothed out later, or can just be written off as the galaxy being just that big and individuals not having the same info as the audience. Overall it is the most well received addition to Star Wars since ''Empire''. With the show actually understanding why and how certain reveals should work, ie. not making there be anything special to us (the audience) about the Mandalorian's face/name, it is special because of his code not because he has laser eyes or something.

A second season (it was inevitable) was announced in November 2019, finished filming in March 2020 and arrived on Disney+ in October 2020. Several characters from elsewhere in the franchise such as Boba Fett, Bo-Katan (Duchess Satine’s redhead sister from the Clone Wars, who also happens to be the last known wielder of the Darksaber before Moff Gideon turned up with it in the final episode of season 1) and Ahsoka Tano have made appearances, plus Luke Skywalker himself showed up in the final episode of Season 2.

A third season is slated but is in serious doubt due to conflicting agendas among Disney staff, as many of the Mandalorian's cast and crew are at odds with Lucasfilm President <s>Sauron</s> Kathleen Kennedy, which culminated in the politically-motivated firing of Cara Dune's actress, Gina Carano. Around this time, lead actor Pedro Pascal was considering a series adaptation of the video game series "The Last of Us". Between these two events and internal [[SJW|ideological strife]] within Disney, the future of the show is in flux.

==Non-Exhaustive List of Awesome==
{{spoilers}}
*Mando/Din Djarin is a cool protagonist and Pedro Pascal manages to play him really well despite having his face hidden behind a helmet most of the time
*Baby Yoda/The Child/Grogu
*IG-11
*Moff Gideon, played by Giancarlo Esposito of Breaking Bad-fame, as the main villain
*Several good strong female characters showing Rey how it's meant to be done, from returning favorites like Bo-Katan to newcomers like Cara Dune.
*Mando's ship, the Razor Crest
*Callbacks to Mandalorian-related things from [[Star Wars:The Clone Wars]] and [[Star Wars:Rebels]]
*Live action debut of Ahsoka Tano
*Return of Boba Fett. He is a Mandalorian and the thing about Almec saying Fetts aren't Mandalorian in TCW (he was clearly biased against them due to his position) is now set to rest.
*Worldbuilding
*Redesign of TIE Fighter with folding wings
*Brings aspects from the old EU into Disney Canon
*Shows that the Empire didn't just disappear overnight and that there are still remnants out there
*Clearly made by people who love and understand Star Wars
*Dark Troopers. If you thought all battledroids are just cannon fodder relying on their numbers to win, think again. Dark Troopers are basically Terminators and can be genuinely terrifying. Not only are they blaster-proof, they can also fly using rocket boosters.
*Tons and tons of fan service
*Luke Skywalker makes an appearance, not the old grumpy disgrace we saw in The Last Jedi but Grandmaster Luke Skywalker
*Makes use of some pretty groundbreaking special effects techniques, continuing the Star Wars tradition of trying to push special effects to new levels. Bye bye greenscreens, hello future. <ref>https://www.starwars.com/news/the-mandalorian-stagecraft-feature</ref> (see more below)
*Has single-handedly restored hope in the franchise after many had lost it due to the sequel trilogy

== Almost-Holodeck Soundstage ==

So we mentioned above there is new special effects in play here. The Mandalorian makes use of a brand new soundstage that consists of a large circle of extremely high resolution LED screens surrounding the actors on almost all sides, projecting distant scenery rendered in real time with Unreal Engine, controlled by the camera's movement. This can be shot directly by the camera, with a computer figuring out the compositing later with a higher quality render for the final cut.

The biggest impact it has is on reflections and ambient lighting on the subjects. Using conventional green screen tech, getting the lighting to match the setting is quite difficult, and getting reflections requires extensive post production work to the point of not being practical in most cases. With the screen set used for Mandalorian, any reflections on metal surfaces (such as shiny, polished armor) are natural and the lighting of the final composite shot will PERFECTLY match the principal photography.

==Bad qualities==
*Some episodes can feel like filler
*It's not [[Star Wars:Rebels]] but bad guys can still sometimes feel pretty incompetent.
*While not overrused, baby Yoda can be grating to those who despise "cute".

{{Star Wars}}

Star Wars:The Mandalorian

2021-03-03T03:11:46Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2: /* Non-Exhaustive List of Awesome */

[[Image:The_mandalorian.jpg|right|200px|thumb|[[Goblin Slayer|''Bounties?'']]]]
Because Disney didn't have enough money, they decided to try their hand at streaming services (despite already owning Hulu), and created Disney+ as a collection of their shows and movies. And with any streaming service, you need a flagship title. Thus, ''The Mandalorian'', the first live action Star Wars television series.

The show itself lives and breaths off your nostalgia for the Fetts, giving you a new lead character wearing the cool ass armor, bounty hunting, getting in gunfights, et cetera. The show's set five years after ''Return of the Jedi'', and leans into spaghetti western's so hard you wonder why Clint Eastwood hasn't shown up (John Wayne's grandson does do much of the stunt work for the titular character). Whether you like this show pretty much comes down to the question of can you accept [[Goblin Slayer|a show where the main character's face is never seen]] and whose name is almost never spoken (probably, considering this site's demographics), and can you stand a story wrapped entirely around the finger of a baby yoda who is the most well know spoiler since (joke.exe).

If you like the 2012 [[Judge Dredd]] movie you will like the show. It also might be one of the closest depictions of a Space Marine we are going to get for the foreseeable future on the "big screen". The Mandalorians (this group at least) have become almost a cult regarding "The Way," their warrior code. Highlights include a [[Looted]] [[All_Terrain_Soup|AT-ST]], getting to watch a [[Men_of_Iron|IG-11]] aimbot entire groups of hostiles multiple times (hell just watching IG-11 ''move'' is amazing), and an episode shot like a horror film except that [[awesome|the protagonist is the hunter]]. The final two episodes are a callback to almost every episode except "The Prisoner" & "The Gunslinger" and numerous characters return and get to be their own brand of awesome. The show also brought back the old style Mandalorians - it's a creed and a way of life, not a species or race. You are a Mandalorian because you chose to be, and because you follow the Mandalorian code, not because you're born that way.

There are several hiccups in writing but those might be smoothed out later, or can just be written off as the galaxy being just that big and individuals not having the same info as the audience. Overall it is the most well received addition to Star Wars since ''Empire''. With the show actually understanding why and how certain reveals should work, ie. not making there be anything special to us (the audience) about the Mandalorian's face/name, it is special because of his code not because he has laser eyes or something.

A second season (it was inevitable) was announced in November 2019, finished filming in March 2020 and arrived on Disney+ in October 2020. Several characters from elsewhere in the franchise such as Boba Fett, Bo-Katan (Duchess Satine’s redhead sister from the Clone Wars, who also happens to be the last known wielder of the Darksaber before Moff Gideon turned up with it in the final episode of season 1) and Ahsoka Tano have made appearances, plus Luke Skywalker himself showed up in the final episode of Season 2.

A third season is slated but is in serious doubt due to conflicting agendas among Disney staff, which culminated in the politically-motivated firing of Cara Dune's actress, Gina Carano. Around this time, lead actor Pedro Pascal was considering a series adaptation of the video game series "The Last of Us". Between these two events and internal [[SJW|ideological strife]] within Disney, the future of the show is in flux.

==Non-Exhaustive List of Awesome==
{{spoilers}}
*Mando/Din Djarin is a cool protagonist and Pedro Pascal manages to play him really well despite having his face hidden behind a helmet most of the time
*Baby Yoda/The Child/Grogu
*IG-11
*Moff Gideon, played by Giancarlo Esposito of Breaking Bad-fame, as the main villain
*Several good strong female characters showing Rey how it's meant to be done, from returning favorites like Bo-Katan to newcomers like Cara Dune.
*Mando's ship, the Razor Crest
*Callbacks to Mandalorian-related things from [[Star Wars:The Clone Wars]] and [[Star Wars:Rebels]]
*Live action debut of Ahsoka Tano
*Return of Boba Fett. He is a Mandalorian and the thing about Almec saying Fetts aren't Mandalorian in TCW (he was clearly biased against them due to his position) is now set to rest.
*Worldbuilding
*Redesign of TIE Fighter with folding wings
*Brings aspects from the old EU into Disney Canon
*Shows that the Empire didn't just disappear overnight and that there are still remnants out there
*Clearly made by people who love and understand Star Wars
*Dark Troopers. If you thought all battledroids are just cannon fodder relying on their numbers to win, think again. Dark Troopers are basically Terminators and can be genuinely terrifying. Not only are they blaster-proof, they can also fly using rocket boosters.
*Tons and tons of fan service
*Luke Skywalker makes an appearance, not the old grumpy disgrace we saw in The Last Jedi but Grandmaster Luke Skywalker
*Makes use of some pretty groundbreaking special effects techniques, continuing the Star Wars tradition of trying to push special effects to new levels. Bye bye greenscreens, hello future. <ref>https://www.starwars.com/news/the-mandalorian-stagecraft-feature</ref> (see more below)
*Has single-handedly restored hope in the franchise after many had lost it due to the sequel trilogy

== Almost-Holodeck Soundstage ==

So we mentioned above there is new special effects in play here. The Mandalorian makes use of a brand new soundstage that consists of a large circle of extremely high resolution LED screens surrounding the actors on almost all sides, projecting distant scenery rendered in real time with Unreal Engine, controlled by the camera's movement. This can be shot directly by the camera, with a computer figuring out the compositing later with a higher quality render for the final cut.

The biggest impact it has is on reflections and ambient lighting on the subjects. Using conventional green screen tech, getting the lighting to match the setting is quite difficult, and getting reflections requires extensive post production work to the point of not being practical in most cases. With the screen set used for Mandalorian, any reflections on metal surfaces (such as shiny, polished armor) are natural and the lighting of the final composite shot will PERFECTLY match the principal photography.

==Bad qualities==
*Some episodes can feel like filler
*It's not [[Star Wars:Rebels]] but bad guys can still sometimes feel pretty incompetent.
*While not overrused, baby Yoda can be grating to those who despise "cute".

{{Star Wars}}

Star Wars:The Mandalorian

2021-03-03T03:10:57Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:9468:3CB7:885:BDA2:

[[Image:The_mandalorian.jpg|right|200px|thumb|[[Goblin Slayer|''Bounties?'']]]]
Because Disney didn't have enough money, they decided to try their hand at streaming services (despite already owning Hulu), and created Disney+ as a collection of their shows and movies. And with any streaming service, you need a flagship title. Thus, ''The Mandalorian'', the first live action Star Wars television series.

The show itself lives and breaths off your nostalgia for the Fetts, giving you a new lead character wearing the cool ass armor, bounty hunting, getting in gunfights, et cetera. The show's set five years after ''Return of the Jedi'', and leans into spaghetti western's so hard you wonder why Clint Eastwood hasn't shown up (John Wayne's grandson does do much of the stunt work for the titular character). Whether you like this show pretty much comes down to the question of can you accept [[Goblin Slayer|a show where the main character's face is never seen]] and whose name is almost never spoken (probably, considering this site's demographics), and can you stand a story wrapped entirely around the finger of a baby yoda who is the most well know spoiler since (joke.exe).

If you like the 2012 [[Judge Dredd]] movie you will like the show. It also might be one of the closest depictions of a Space Marine we are going to get for the foreseeable future on the "big screen". The Mandalorians (this group at least) have become almost a cult regarding "The Way," their warrior code. Highlights include a [[Looted]] [[All_Terrain_Soup|AT-ST]], getting to watch a [[Men_of_Iron|IG-11]] aimbot entire groups of hostiles multiple times (hell just watching IG-11 ''move'' is amazing), and an episode shot like a horror film except that [[awesome|the protagonist is the hunter]]. The final two episodes are a callback to almost every episode except "The Prisoner" & "The Gunslinger" and numerous characters return and get to be their own brand of awesome. The show also brought back the old style Mandalorians - it's a creed and a way of life, not a species or race. You are a Mandalorian because you chose to be, and because you follow the Mandalorian code, not because you're born that way.

There are several hiccups in writing but those might be smoothed out later, or can just be written off as the galaxy being just that big and individuals not having the same info as the audience. Overall it is the most well received addition to Star Wars since ''Empire''. With the show actually understanding why and how certain reveals should work, ie. not making there be anything special to us (the audience) about the Mandalorian's face/name, it is special because of his code not because he has laser eyes or something.

A second season (it was inevitable) was announced in November 2019, finished filming in March 2020 and arrived on Disney+ in October 2020. Several characters from elsewhere in the franchise such as Boba Fett, Bo-Katan (Duchess Satine’s redhead sister from the Clone Wars, who also happens to be the last known wielder of the Darksaber before Moff Gideon turned up with it in the final episode of season 1) and Ahsoka Tano have made appearances, plus Luke Skywalker himself showed up in the final episode of Season 2.

A third season is slated but is in serious doubt due to conflicting agendas among Disney staff, which culminated in the politically-motivated firing of Cara Dune's actress, Gina Carano. Around this time, lead actor Pedro Pascal was considering a series adaptation of the video game series "The Last of Us". Between these two events and internal [[SJW|ideological strife]] within Disney, the future of the show is in flux.

==Non-Exhaustive List of Awesome==
{{spoilers}}
*Mando/Din Djarin is a cool protagonist and Pedro Pascal manages to play him really well despite having his face hidden behind a helmet most of the time
*Baby Yoda/The Child/Grogu
*IG-11
*Moff Gideon, played by Giancarlo Esposito of Breaking Bad-fame, as the main villain
*Several good strong female characters showing Rey how it's meant to be done
*Mando's ship, the Razor Crest
*Callbacks to Mandalorian-related things from [[Star Wars:The Clone Wars]] and [[Star Wars:Rebels]]
*Live action debut of Ahsoka Tano
*Return of Boba Fett. He is a Mandalorian and the thing about Almec saying Fetts aren't Mandalorian in TCW (he was clearly biased against them due to his position) is now set to rest.
*Worldbuilding
*Redesign of TIE Fighter with folding wings
*Brings aspects from the old EU into Disney Canon
*Shows that the Empire didn't just disappear overnight and that there are still remnants out there
*Clearly made by people who love and understand Star Wars
*Dark Troopers. If you thought all battledroids are just cannon fodder relying on their numbers to win, think again. Dark Troopers are basically Terminators and can be genuinely terrifying. Not only are they blaster-proof, they can also fly using rocket boosters.
*Tons and tons of fan service
*Luke Skywalker makes an appearance, not the old grumpy disgrace we saw in The Last Jedi but Grandmaster Luke Skywalker
*Makes use of some pretty groundbreaking special effects techniques, continuing the Star Wars tradition of trying to push special effects to new levels. Bye bye greenscreens, hello future. <ref>https://www.starwars.com/news/the-mandalorian-stagecraft-feature</ref> (see more below)
*Has single-handedly restored hope in the franchise after many had lost it due to the sequel trilogy

== Almost-Holodeck Soundstage ==

So we mentioned above there is new special effects in play here. The Mandalorian makes use of a brand new soundstage that consists of a large circle of extremely high resolution LED screens surrounding the actors on almost all sides, projecting distant scenery rendered in real time with Unreal Engine, controlled by the camera's movement. This can be shot directly by the camera, with a computer figuring out the compositing later with a higher quality render for the final cut.

The biggest impact it has is on reflections and ambient lighting on the subjects. Using conventional green screen tech, getting the lighting to match the setting is quite difficult, and getting reflections requires extensive post production work to the point of not being practical in most cases. With the screen set used for Mandalorian, any reflections on metal surfaces (such as shiny, polished armor) are natural and the lighting of the final composite shot will PERFECTLY match the principal photography.

==Bad qualities==
*Some episodes can feel like filler
*It's not [[Star Wars:Rebels]] but bad guys can still sometimes feel pretty incompetent.
*While not overrused, baby Yoda can be grating to those who despise "cute".

{{Star Wars}}