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Tyrion

2021-01-04T11:53:21Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:A411:F40D:90A5:3D4: /* Gallery */

[[Image:Tyrion y Teclis.jpg|right|thumb|400px|Tyrion, with his brother Teclis at the background.]]
{{Topquote|Temper is a weapon that we hold by the blade.|James M. Barrie}}

''If you were looking for info on the silver-tongued dwarf from [[A Song of Ice and Fire]], please visit the appropriate page.''

''If you misspelled and were looking for the old inter-faction paladin Tirion Fordring from [[World of Warcraft]], follow the link.''

A [[High Elf]] character from [[Warhammer Fantasy]]. Depending on your opinion, he's either [[Alice|the ultimate Mary Sue]] or [[Fist of the North Star|just a badass personifying everything neat about the race]]. See below for more details.

Tyrion, and to some extent [[Teclis]], are both very much inspired by the Noldorian prince Fëanor and his brother Fingolfin from [[the Silmarillion]] - One being the heroic, powerful and fateful warrior with a darker edge, and the other the stoic, empathic brother, who safeguards his brother with love and wisdom, even if said brother treads darker paths. This is only made more apparent in [[the End Times]], in which Tyrion, like Fëanor before him, goes to [[Star Wars|the darker side]] in the pursuit of vengeance and power to defend his people, and ultimately fails and falls, dooming his own people... In WFB, Tyrion kinda forces his people to merge with the Dark Elves by drawing the Widowmaker, and in the Silmarillion, Fëanor not only leaves with most of his kinsmen to Middle Earth and strands them there by burning their fleet, he also kills other Eldar (no, [[Eldar]] as Elves who lived in the Undying Lands, you inbred 40k fuck) to get said fleet, and so, a curse befalls them, which bites his decendants in the ass numerous times later.

==The Legend==
Tyrion is a total badass who doesn't give a fuck what you think about him (or a Mary Sue, depending on whether you play High Elves or not). He was born and grew up with Teclis in a forested estate in Cothique. Their father Arathion was descended from Morelion (son of [[Aenarion]]), so he had a pretty substantial fortune as well as a big name to live up to. As he grew into manhood, he spent his time learning the art of combat, helping their dad look after Teclis and hunting in the forest (along with figuring out how to get girls by hooking up with coming-of-age huntresses). Soon the three of them moved to court to learn the ways of nobility. When the elves in the powdered wigs tried to embarrass him in front of the court, usually by making fun of his twin brother [[Teclis]] who was crippled from birth, he usually responded with a challenge to a duel to the death. He quickly became known as a badass swordsman, Aenarion look-alike as well as a douche. Since people started saying he's Aenarion reborn (that might not be a compliment) he began to wear Aenarion's armor, which had been passed down the family since it was reclaimed in the days of Tethlis the Slayer. He also was allowed to carry a sword belonging to one of Aenarion's buddies if he signed them out from the Lothern Museum of Asur History, but he never gave it back and they were too afraid to report it missing.

After adventuring around like a TES character and doing random shit for awhile, Ulthuan got clusterfucked by [[Daemons]] and [[Dark Elves]]. He heard that the [[Everqueen]] was being attacked at her wedding by [[Malekith|Malekith's]] rapesquad and went to rescue her, killing them but got fucked right up from a poison hidden carefully in the anus of an assassin he was corpse humping after the fight, and Alarielle carried his dumbass around [[Ulthuan]] while he moaned "Bel...Dagobah system..." But the poison didn't effect him too badly at first, since he managed to shack up with Alarielle during this time and cuck the king. Then a [[Keeper of Secrets]] showed up and nearly ganked them until Teclis arrived and facerolled things because he dual/specced as a healer/DPS hybrid. After they rejoined the <strike>Rebel Alliance</strike> rest of the High Elf forces and Tyrion was healed up, Alarielle decided he'd make a great addition to her harem. She gave him a magic engagement necklace that lets him give Death the middle finger, and the God Emperor of Horsekind Malhandir. Then he SMITE CLEAVE SMITEed 90% of the Dark Elf race personally at the Battle of Finuval Plain.

Then he went back to adventuring, except when Alarielle sends a letter that she wants the cock whereupon he zips right home. He's a bit emo since Aenarion's curse makes him think about the [[Widowmaker]] like it's the ultimate sexual fetish all the time. Thinking about his brother gets his dick soft enough that he can think about Alarielle and get a boner for killing Dark Elves again. When his best bro got killed by Dark Elves, he took the dude's loli daughter as a squire and taught her how to slap around prissy nobility, brood, and /win battles. If he doesn't get wasted, he'll probably be the next Phoenix King, but since he's buddies with Finubar (also Eltharion, but Elthy is a dick to him now) he's not looking forward to it.

Currently in the canon story, he's facerolling [[Vampire Counts]] lead by [[Mannfred von Carstein]] who's trying to resurrect [[Nagash]] by sacrificing Alarielle and Finubar's daughter (and hence the next Everqueen, unless Finny dies soon enough for Tyrion to give Alarielle an heir [earlier editions, due to the fact that Finubar is much older than Alarielle and Alarielle became Everqueen shortly before meeting Tyrion, implied that Alarielle was in fact Finubar's daughter and Tyrion would succeed Finubar as Phoenix King one day. Recent sources from both Black Libary books and now the 8th Edition High Elf army book have confirmed that to be not the case]. Whether or not this is Mr. Ward taking away the most badass High Elf as a potential faction leader or just the way it was always supposed to be is up for debate). Unfortunately, Mannfred recaptured Aliathra when Tyrion was distracted and used his magic to flee with her. Tyrion meets High King Thorgrim and his army of Dwarves (who arrived to help them over a debt of honor; they don't really care about elves now) and insults him like crazy, blaming the Dwarves for the loss of Aliathra and probably undoing that attempt at reconciliation between the two races.

Recently, he's taken over leadership of the armies of Ulthuan, as the nobles were getting tired of Finubar being a lazy shut-in and were planning to replace him. He's also guilty of treason, as the Everqueen cheated on the Phoenix King with Tyrion and Tyrion is Aliathra's biological father (Which sort of makes his rage against the Dwarves '''kinda''' understandable).

==End Times==
In End Times Tyrion was worried about his daughter but was grudgingly convinced by Teclis, Eltharion and Eldyra to stay and defend Ulthuan from an army of Slaanesh daemons led by N'kari which were planning to kill the High Elves. He revealed his ineptitude at politics where he tried to intimidate Imrik into obedience, but instead insulted Imrik to the point that he ceded the realm of Caledor from the Phoenix Throne, costing the armies of Ulthuan the might of the dragons. At the behest of Teclis he attempted to reconcile, but Imrik's rejection of that put Tyrion in such a foul mood no one, not even Teclis, dared to speak to him for several days.

Eventually he found out that not only were the Dark Elves attacking Ulthuan in unprecedented numbers, but that the realm of Caledor had decided to serve Malekith. He was furious and only his knowledge of military tactics stopped him from marching on Caledor. During this time, he started to feel the influence of Khaine more and more strongly. During this time Tyrion killed Malus Darkblade, who had been taken over by the daemon T'zarkan. Eventually Morathi, who had her own plans, approached Tyrion in the guise of an elven mage and became his consort. While Tyrion's court didn't know who she was, Teclis suspected, and the influence of Khaine was so strong he accepted Morathi's offer. During one particularly horrific battle, Nagash returned to life in Sylvania and all the dead became undead. Tyrion was give an extra power from Khaine and brought the undead under his control, forcing Malekith to use all of his sorcerous power to kill them but forcing him to cede the battle. Later, Tyrion crossed blades with Tullaris of Har Ganeth who put up a good fight against Tyrion despite having inferior weapons and armor plus no mount. During the fight, at Khaine's behest, Tullaris urged Tyrion to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMNKwZTv1d0| strike him down with all of his hatred] - which Tyrion did.

At the Shrine of Khaine, after a fierce battle with Malekith, Tyrion learned about Malekith being accepted as Phoenix King, Teclis' dealings with Nagash and Malekith - including the death of his daughter Aliathra and snapped.
Tyrion drew the Widowmaker, becoming an Avatar of Khaine (no, not [[Avatar_of_Khaine#The_Avatar_of_Khaine|that]] one, it's just a title), gathering a united army of his High Elf lackeys and Khainite Dark Elves and attempting to stop Malekith for becoming the ruler of all elfkind. Imrik engaged him in battle with three other dragon princes, the four of them riding dragons. There Imrik did what no one else had done and managed to make a hole in the armor of Aenarion. However with the Sword of Khaine Tyrion beat him down, Imrik only survived because his dragon flew him to safety while the other three princes and dragons delayed Tyrion at the cost of their lives.

Now under Khaine's influence, he led his army into Avelorn to claim Alarielle, who had recently returned from Athel Loren and agreed to be pledged to Malekith. Despite her love for Tyrion she saw how far gone he was and refused to join him. This led to a battle between the High Elves and Wood Elves. Orion showed up and fought Tyrion. But even the demigod of the hunt couldn't match Khaine's power, but before Tyrion killed Orion, Orion stabbed Tyrion through the chink Imrik had made and widened it. The battle ended when Durthu showed up and, instead of fighting Tyrion, grabbed him and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib084tzN8H0| punted him over the horizon] (complete with that Team Rocket-sparkle - which Tyrion survived of course).

Angrier than ever, Tyrion ordered his forces to march on the Blighted Isle to stop Malekith and Teclis's plan to bind the winds of magic to people. During this time he captured Sea Lord Aislinn, who had turned against Tyrion and was the avatar of Mathlann, the elven god of destruction. When Tyrion killed him, a massive storm was summoned that sank half of Tyrion's ships. He almost won his final battle against Malekith, but gets shot by Alith Anar through that chink in his armor. The Widowmaker becomes a normal sword, Tyrion looks like his normal self again. His body is last seen being carried by Teclis right before Ulthuan sinks. Teclis later uses the heart of averlorn and the flame of ulric to restore Tyrion, freed of the curse of Khaine, then infuse him with the wind of light. Despite being all heroic again, all of the other elves (except Alarielle, who kinda tolerates him) hate him and [[Sigmar]] is his only friend. Had the Incarnates won and the story continued, Tyrion would have probably been exiled by Malekith (who would probably want his father's armor back), if not killed outright by his people.

When Nagash showed up with an offer of parley, Tyrion was conflicted. While he knew Nagash was extremely evil and responsible for his daughter's death, his time as the Avatar of Khaine made him consider that maybe Nagash's help could be accepted - even when Nagash nearly goaded Tyrion by mocking him about Aliathra's death. After accepting Nagash's help Tyrion and Malekith together captured Bea'lakor while the latter tried to claim Lileath. Tyrion helped in the fight at Middenheim, managing to destroy Ka'bandha's axe and tank a brass skull thrown by Khorne himself. He and all the other Incarnates were downed by the magical backlash when Mannfred stabbed Balthazar in the back and stopped them form stabilizing the Rift. This caused Teclis to take on more magic than he could handle and disintegrated him. Tyrion was still mad over what Teclis had done, but still loved his brother. Also seeing Mannfred as his daughter's killer, Tyrion avenged them both by introducing Mannfred to Sunfang - blade first - and then lighting him on fire from the inside; killing him. Later Tyrion helped Alarielle to her feet and, together with a pinned Malekith and disintegrating Nagash, held her hand as they watched the Rift expand and the world end.

==Age of Sigmar==
Tyrion survives the End Times, and becomes a god in the new setting alongside Teclis. Tyrion awoke in the middle of Hysh and explored the realm looking for his brother. Slaying anything that attacked him, Tyrion's journeys took him to the realm's edge. Staring at the raw nature of Hysh for so long caused Tyrion's eyes to melt in his sockets, blinding him. Undaunted, Tyrion travelled on until he met the spirit of Realm's Edge itself, the being that shone as the sun for all the mortal realms (and possibly the counterpart to Celennar). Tyrion refused to look away, and the spirit respected that, the two forming a bond. Then Tyrion lost consciousness and awoke back in the middle of Hysh, but reunited with Teclis. Tyrion learned he could see through Teclis' eyes and Teclis taught Tyrion how to see with his other senses.

After finding Teclis, the twins allied with Sigmar, though went against his orders and led his armies alongside the dark elf formerly known as Malekith to capture Slaanesh.

When Slaanesh daemons almost raped hysh to death after the Lumineth civil war he returned to lead the Lumineth counter attack and through his martial skill stayed the tide. Teclis was broing with the moon spirit to change the Lumineth to what they are now.

Currently half the lumineth forces base their culture on Tyrion. The new battletome focuses on Teclis nations so may be more in future releases.

==List of Lovers==
In order of appearance throughout Tyrion's life:

* X number of Cothique huntresses.
* Karaya, an Emeraldsea sailor.
* Liselle, his cousin.
* Lady Valeria of Lothern.
* Lyla, an Avelorn punkrocker with flowers in her hair.
* That bitch over there.
* The Beastwoman over here.
* A vaginally-shaped hole in the wall.
* A Morathi-shaped waifu pillow.
* Everqueen Alarielle, whom technically is of distant relation, as both are descendants of Aenarion with he and Astarielle being their great-great-great-great... grandparents.
* Morathi herself.

==On The Tabletop==
Taken as his own, Tyrion is the biggest and baddest asskicker for his point cost. He destroys units on his own in a turn, he can take a cannonball to the balls and it'll only make his dick harder, and his sword shoots fire like a dragon.
If you can't actually field him, then proxying a Prince or a Noble on horseback with Armor of Caledor and a magic weapon works as well (this option will allow you to field Alarielle and Tyrion in the same army).

In the End Times, Tyrion, as mentioned above, gets a huge upgrade by drawing [[Widowmaker]] and becoming the Avatar of [[Khaine]]. In this state, he can lead the [[Aestyrion]] as a lord worth 700 points. In this form, he has Always Strikes First, Frenzy, Immune to Psychology, Murderous Prowess, and several new special abilities and nifty gear:

* The Shadow Of Khaine means that Tyrion, and any friendly unit with Murderous Prowess within 12", rerolls failed To Wound rolls in close combat.
* Avatar of Khaine gives Tyrion an innate bound spell, Summon the Glorious Dead, which can be cast at power level 10, 15 or 20 to summon 2D6 + 3, 3D6 + 2 or 4D6 +1 Skeleton Warriors within 9".
* The Dragon Armour of Aenarion means he has a 1+ armor save, 4+ Ward save and the Fireborn special rule.
* The Heart of Avelorn gives him Magic Resistance (2) and when hit by a wound that would kill him, will sacrifice itself to negate the fatal wound if the player rolls a 2+.
* Widowmaker means Tyrion's attacks ignore armor, wound automatically, and have Multiple Wounds (D6) - also, this weapon can't be destroyed by any spell or magic item that normally can screw with hero's gear like that. Oh yes. This is one magic sword that lives up to the fluff. It will fuck you in half then go back in time and fuck your mother in half too.

He rides Malhandir, and is unique in that he's the only cavalry special character released as part of the End Times to have a separate profile for himself and his mount. The fluff explanation for this is that Tyrion gets betrayed by Malhandir in the final battle, and is forced to fight on foot. The crunch explanation is simpler: he is cavalry, not a monster like every other character with a combined profile, so we can assume only monsters (and maybe monstrous cavalry) will have combined profiles.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Tyrion 2.jpg
Image:M2001639a 99810210003 TyrionCFC 873x627.jpg|Tyrion's model.
Image:1337396399918.jpg|Tyrion brooding.
File:End_Times_-_Avatar_of_Khaine_(aka_TYRION_IS_FUCKING_PISSED_OFF_ARKHAM_AND_NAGASH!!!).png|Translation: FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!
File:Tyrion Total War.jpg
File:Tyrion and Teclis.jpg
File:Tyrion End Times.png|Only Tyrion could have two love hearts on his armor and still look badass.
File:Tyrion.png|Tyrion as the Incarnate of Light.
File:Tyrion Angry.jpg
File:Sunfang.png
File:Tyrion vs Malekith.jpg|Tyrion vs Malekith.
</gallery>
</center>

{{Template:High Elves}}
{{AoS-Gods}}

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Lumineth Realm-Lords]]
[[Category:40k and Fantasy Gods]]

Tyrion

2021-01-04T11:52:13Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:A411:F40D:90A5:3D4: /* Gallery */

[[Image:Tyrion y Teclis.jpg|right|thumb|400px|Tyrion, with his brother Teclis at the background.]]
{{Topquote|Temper is a weapon that we hold by the blade.|James M. Barrie}}

''If you were looking for info on the silver-tongued dwarf from [[A Song of Ice and Fire]], please visit the appropriate page.''

''If you misspelled and were looking for the old inter-faction paladin Tirion Fordring from [[World of Warcraft]], follow the link.''

A [[High Elf]] character from [[Warhammer Fantasy]]. Depending on your opinion, he's either [[Alice|the ultimate Mary Sue]] or [[Fist of the North Star|just a badass personifying everything neat about the race]]. See below for more details.

Tyrion, and to some extent [[Teclis]], are both very much inspired by the Noldorian prince Fëanor and his brother Fingolfin from [[the Silmarillion]] - One being the heroic, powerful and fateful warrior with a darker edge, and the other the stoic, empathic brother, who safeguards his brother with love and wisdom, even if said brother treads darker paths. This is only made more apparent in [[the End Times]], in which Tyrion, like Fëanor before him, goes to [[Star Wars|the darker side]] in the pursuit of vengeance and power to defend his people, and ultimately fails and falls, dooming his own people... In WFB, Tyrion kinda forces his people to merge with the Dark Elves by drawing the Widowmaker, and in the Silmarillion, Fëanor not only leaves with most of his kinsmen to Middle Earth and strands them there by burning their fleet, he also kills other Eldar (no, [[Eldar]] as Elves who lived in the Undying Lands, you inbred 40k fuck) to get said fleet, and so, a curse befalls them, which bites his decendants in the ass numerous times later.

==The Legend==
Tyrion is a total badass who doesn't give a fuck what you think about him (or a Mary Sue, depending on whether you play High Elves or not). He was born and grew up with Teclis in a forested estate in Cothique. Their father Arathion was descended from Morelion (son of [[Aenarion]]), so he had a pretty substantial fortune as well as a big name to live up to. As he grew into manhood, he spent his time learning the art of combat, helping their dad look after Teclis and hunting in the forest (along with figuring out how to get girls by hooking up with coming-of-age huntresses). Soon the three of them moved to court to learn the ways of nobility. When the elves in the powdered wigs tried to embarrass him in front of the court, usually by making fun of his twin brother [[Teclis]] who was crippled from birth, he usually responded with a challenge to a duel to the death. He quickly became known as a badass swordsman, Aenarion look-alike as well as a douche. Since people started saying he's Aenarion reborn (that might not be a compliment) he began to wear Aenarion's armor, which had been passed down the family since it was reclaimed in the days of Tethlis the Slayer. He also was allowed to carry a sword belonging to one of Aenarion's buddies if he signed them out from the Lothern Museum of Asur History, but he never gave it back and they were too afraid to report it missing.

After adventuring around like a TES character and doing random shit for awhile, Ulthuan got clusterfucked by [[Daemons]] and [[Dark Elves]]. He heard that the [[Everqueen]] was being attacked at her wedding by [[Malekith|Malekith's]] rapesquad and went to rescue her, killing them but got fucked right up from a poison hidden carefully in the anus of an assassin he was corpse humping after the fight, and Alarielle carried his dumbass around [[Ulthuan]] while he moaned "Bel...Dagobah system..." But the poison didn't effect him too badly at first, since he managed to shack up with Alarielle during this time and cuck the king. Then a [[Keeper of Secrets]] showed up and nearly ganked them until Teclis arrived and facerolled things because he dual/specced as a healer/DPS hybrid. After they rejoined the <strike>Rebel Alliance</strike> rest of the High Elf forces and Tyrion was healed up, Alarielle decided he'd make a great addition to her harem. She gave him a magic engagement necklace that lets him give Death the middle finger, and the God Emperor of Horsekind Malhandir. Then he SMITE CLEAVE SMITEed 90% of the Dark Elf race personally at the Battle of Finuval Plain.

Then he went back to adventuring, except when Alarielle sends a letter that she wants the cock whereupon he zips right home. He's a bit emo since Aenarion's curse makes him think about the [[Widowmaker]] like it's the ultimate sexual fetish all the time. Thinking about his brother gets his dick soft enough that he can think about Alarielle and get a boner for killing Dark Elves again. When his best bro got killed by Dark Elves, he took the dude's loli daughter as a squire and taught her how to slap around prissy nobility, brood, and /win battles. If he doesn't get wasted, he'll probably be the next Phoenix King, but since he's buddies with Finubar (also Eltharion, but Elthy is a dick to him now) he's not looking forward to it.

Currently in the canon story, he's facerolling [[Vampire Counts]] lead by [[Mannfred von Carstein]] who's trying to resurrect [[Nagash]] by sacrificing Alarielle and Finubar's daughter (and hence the next Everqueen, unless Finny dies soon enough for Tyrion to give Alarielle an heir [earlier editions, due to the fact that Finubar is much older than Alarielle and Alarielle became Everqueen shortly before meeting Tyrion, implied that Alarielle was in fact Finubar's daughter and Tyrion would succeed Finubar as Phoenix King one day. Recent sources from both Black Libary books and now the 8th Edition High Elf army book have confirmed that to be not the case]. Whether or not this is Mr. Ward taking away the most badass High Elf as a potential faction leader or just the way it was always supposed to be is up for debate). Unfortunately, Mannfred recaptured Aliathra when Tyrion was distracted and used his magic to flee with her. Tyrion meets High King Thorgrim and his army of Dwarves (who arrived to help them over a debt of honor; they don't really care about elves now) and insults him like crazy, blaming the Dwarves for the loss of Aliathra and probably undoing that attempt at reconciliation between the two races.

Recently, he's taken over leadership of the armies of Ulthuan, as the nobles were getting tired of Finubar being a lazy shut-in and were planning to replace him. He's also guilty of treason, as the Everqueen cheated on the Phoenix King with Tyrion and Tyrion is Aliathra's biological father (Which sort of makes his rage against the Dwarves '''kinda''' understandable).

==End Times==
In End Times Tyrion was worried about his daughter but was grudgingly convinced by Teclis, Eltharion and Eldyra to stay and defend Ulthuan from an army of Slaanesh daemons led by N'kari which were planning to kill the High Elves. He revealed his ineptitude at politics where he tried to intimidate Imrik into obedience, but instead insulted Imrik to the point that he ceded the realm of Caledor from the Phoenix Throne, costing the armies of Ulthuan the might of the dragons. At the behest of Teclis he attempted to reconcile, but Imrik's rejection of that put Tyrion in such a foul mood no one, not even Teclis, dared to speak to him for several days.

Eventually he found out that not only were the Dark Elves attacking Ulthuan in unprecedented numbers, but that the realm of Caledor had decided to serve Malekith. He was furious and only his knowledge of military tactics stopped him from marching on Caledor. During this time, he started to feel the influence of Khaine more and more strongly. During this time Tyrion killed Malus Darkblade, who had been taken over by the daemon T'zarkan. Eventually Morathi, who had her own plans, approached Tyrion in the guise of an elven mage and became his consort. While Tyrion's court didn't know who she was, Teclis suspected, and the influence of Khaine was so strong he accepted Morathi's offer. During one particularly horrific battle, Nagash returned to life in Sylvania and all the dead became undead. Tyrion was give an extra power from Khaine and brought the undead under his control, forcing Malekith to use all of his sorcerous power to kill them but forcing him to cede the battle. Later, Tyrion crossed blades with Tullaris of Har Ganeth who put up a good fight against Tyrion despite having inferior weapons and armor plus no mount. During the fight, at Khaine's behest, Tullaris urged Tyrion to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMNKwZTv1d0| strike him down with all of his hatred] - which Tyrion did.

At the Shrine of Khaine, after a fierce battle with Malekith, Tyrion learned about Malekith being accepted as Phoenix King, Teclis' dealings with Nagash and Malekith - including the death of his daughter Aliathra and snapped.
Tyrion drew the Widowmaker, becoming an Avatar of Khaine (no, not [[Avatar_of_Khaine#The_Avatar_of_Khaine|that]] one, it's just a title), gathering a united army of his High Elf lackeys and Khainite Dark Elves and attempting to stop Malekith for becoming the ruler of all elfkind. Imrik engaged him in battle with three other dragon princes, the four of them riding dragons. There Imrik did what no one else had done and managed to make a hole in the armor of Aenarion. However with the Sword of Khaine Tyrion beat him down, Imrik only survived because his dragon flew him to safety while the other three princes and dragons delayed Tyrion at the cost of their lives.

Now under Khaine's influence, he led his army into Avelorn to claim Alarielle, who had recently returned from Athel Loren and agreed to be pledged to Malekith. Despite her love for Tyrion she saw how far gone he was and refused to join him. This led to a battle between the High Elves and Wood Elves. Orion showed up and fought Tyrion. But even the demigod of the hunt couldn't match Khaine's power, but before Tyrion killed Orion, Orion stabbed Tyrion through the chink Imrik had made and widened it. The battle ended when Durthu showed up and, instead of fighting Tyrion, grabbed him and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib084tzN8H0| punted him over the horizon] (complete with that Team Rocket-sparkle - which Tyrion survived of course).

Angrier than ever, Tyrion ordered his forces to march on the Blighted Isle to stop Malekith and Teclis's plan to bind the winds of magic to people. During this time he captured Sea Lord Aislinn, who had turned against Tyrion and was the avatar of Mathlann, the elven god of destruction. When Tyrion killed him, a massive storm was summoned that sank half of Tyrion's ships. He almost won his final battle against Malekith, but gets shot by Alith Anar through that chink in his armor. The Widowmaker becomes a normal sword, Tyrion looks like his normal self again. His body is last seen being carried by Teclis right before Ulthuan sinks. Teclis later uses the heart of averlorn and the flame of ulric to restore Tyrion, freed of the curse of Khaine, then infuse him with the wind of light. Despite being all heroic again, all of the other elves (except Alarielle, who kinda tolerates him) hate him and [[Sigmar]] is his only friend. Had the Incarnates won and the story continued, Tyrion would have probably been exiled by Malekith (who would probably want his father's armor back), if not killed outright by his people.

When Nagash showed up with an offer of parley, Tyrion was conflicted. While he knew Nagash was extremely evil and responsible for his daughter's death, his time as the Avatar of Khaine made him consider that maybe Nagash's help could be accepted - even when Nagash nearly goaded Tyrion by mocking him about Aliathra's death. After accepting Nagash's help Tyrion and Malekith together captured Bea'lakor while the latter tried to claim Lileath. Tyrion helped in the fight at Middenheim, managing to destroy Ka'bandha's axe and tank a brass skull thrown by Khorne himself. He and all the other Incarnates were downed by the magical backlash when Mannfred stabbed Balthazar in the back and stopped them form stabilizing the Rift. This caused Teclis to take on more magic than he could handle and disintegrated him. Tyrion was still mad over what Teclis had done, but still loved his brother. Also seeing Mannfred as his daughter's killer, Tyrion avenged them both by introducing Mannfred to Sunfang - blade first - and then lighting him on fire from the inside; killing him. Later Tyrion helped Alarielle to her feet and, together with a pinned Malekith and disintegrating Nagash, held her hand as they watched the Rift expand and the world end.

==Age of Sigmar==
Tyrion survives the End Times, and becomes a god in the new setting alongside Teclis. Tyrion awoke in the middle of Hysh and explored the realm looking for his brother. Slaying anything that attacked him, Tyrion's journeys took him to the realm's edge. Staring at the raw nature of Hysh for so long caused Tyrion's eyes to melt in his sockets, blinding him. Undaunted, Tyrion travelled on until he met the spirit of Realm's Edge itself, the being that shone as the sun for all the mortal realms (and possibly the counterpart to Celennar). Tyrion refused to look away, and the spirit respected that, the two forming a bond. Then Tyrion lost consciousness and awoke back in the middle of Hysh, but reunited with Teclis. Tyrion learned he could see through Teclis' eyes and Teclis taught Tyrion how to see with his other senses.

After finding Teclis, the twins allied with Sigmar, though went against his orders and led his armies alongside the dark elf formerly known as Malekith to capture Slaanesh.

When Slaanesh daemons almost raped hysh to death after the Lumineth civil war he returned to lead the Lumineth counter attack and through his martial skill stayed the tide. Teclis was broing with the moon spirit to change the Lumineth to what they are now.

Currently half the lumineth forces base their culture on Tyrion. The new battletome focuses on Teclis nations so may be more in future releases.

==List of Lovers==
In order of appearance throughout Tyrion's life:

* X number of Cothique huntresses.
* Karaya, an Emeraldsea sailor.
* Liselle, his cousin.
* Lady Valeria of Lothern.
* Lyla, an Avelorn punkrocker with flowers in her hair.
* That bitch over there.
* The Beastwoman over here.
* A vaginally-shaped hole in the wall.
* A Morathi-shaped waifu pillow.
* Everqueen Alarielle, whom technically is of distant relation, as both are descendants of Aenarion with he and Astarielle being their great-great-great-great... grandparents.
* Morathi herself.

==On The Tabletop==
Taken as his own, Tyrion is the biggest and baddest asskicker for his point cost. He destroys units on his own in a turn, he can take a cannonball to the balls and it'll only make his dick harder, and his sword shoots fire like a dragon.
If you can't actually field him, then proxying a Prince or a Noble on horseback with Armor of Caledor and a magic weapon works as well (this option will allow you to field Alarielle and Tyrion in the same army).

In the End Times, Tyrion, as mentioned above, gets a huge upgrade by drawing [[Widowmaker]] and becoming the Avatar of [[Khaine]]. In this state, he can lead the [[Aestyrion]] as a lord worth 700 points. In this form, he has Always Strikes First, Frenzy, Immune to Psychology, Murderous Prowess, and several new special abilities and nifty gear:

* The Shadow Of Khaine means that Tyrion, and any friendly unit with Murderous Prowess within 12", rerolls failed To Wound rolls in close combat.
* Avatar of Khaine gives Tyrion an innate bound spell, Summon the Glorious Dead, which can be cast at power level 10, 15 or 20 to summon 2D6 + 3, 3D6 + 2 or 4D6 +1 Skeleton Warriors within 9".
* The Dragon Armour of Aenarion means he has a 1+ armor save, 4+ Ward save and the Fireborn special rule.
* The Heart of Avelorn gives him Magic Resistance (2) and when hit by a wound that would kill him, will sacrifice itself to negate the fatal wound if the player rolls a 2+.
* Widowmaker means Tyrion's attacks ignore armor, wound automatically, and have Multiple Wounds (D6) - also, this weapon can't be destroyed by any spell or magic item that normally can screw with hero's gear like that. Oh yes. This is one magic sword that lives up to the fluff. It will fuck you in half then go back in time and fuck your mother in half too.

He rides Malhandir, and is unique in that he's the only cavalry special character released as part of the End Times to have a separate profile for himself and his mount. The fluff explanation for this is that Tyrion gets betrayed by Malhandir in the final battle, and is forced to fight on foot. The crunch explanation is simpler: he is cavalry, not a monster like every other character with a combined profile, so we can assume only monsters (and maybe monstrous cavalry) will have combined profiles.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Tyrion 2.jpg
Image:M2001639a 99810210003 TyrionCFC 873x627.jpg|Tyrion's model.
Image:1337396399918.jpg|Tyrion brooding.
File:End_Times_-_Avatar_of_Khaine_(aka_TYRION_IS_FUCKING_PISSED_OFF_ARKHAM_AND_NAGASH!!!).png|Translation: FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!
File:Tyrion Total War.jpg
File:Tyrion and Teclis.jpg
File:Tyrion End Times.png|Only Tyrion could have two love hearts on his armor and still look badass.
File:Tyrion.png
File:Tyrion Angry.jpg
File:Sunfang.png
File:Tyrion vs Malekith.jpg|Tyrion vs Malekith.
</gallery>
</center>

{{Template:High Elves}}
{{AoS-Gods}}

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Lumineth Realm-Lords]]
[[Category:40k and Fantasy Gods]]

Wulfrik the Wanderer

2021-01-04T11:28:20Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:A411:F40D:90A5:3D4: /* The End times */

[[File:Download_(1).jpg|500px|right|thumb|''We fought monsters, and we become them...'']]
{{Topquote|Face me if you dare, stunted whelp, or do you lack even an Elven maid's courage? I thought the Sons of Grungni were great warriors, but perhaps you are no true Dwarf. Indeed, maybe you are instead some breed of bearded goblin, though in truth, I have seen a finer beard on a Troll's back-side.|Wulfrik, roasting some stuntie welp so hard it literally set their beard on fire.}}
{{Topquote|You favour birds, Zarnath? Since you like birds so much, traitor, I will make you one.|Wulfrik, about to rape Zarnath with the torture death of Blood Raven}}
{{Topquote|We seek the monsters that you fear the most. We chase the nightmares that haunt your cowardly dreams. The deadlier the prey, the more we exult in the hunt! The more we honour our Gods! This harsh land breeds the savage; and we revel in it. The Old World calls, ripe for our taking. We fought monsters, and we became them|Wulfrik, during the trailer for the Norsca faction of [[Total War: WARHAMMER]]}}

Wulfrik the Wanderer, also known as the Eternal Challenger, the Inescapable One and the World Walker, is the ultimate sea-faring warrior as well as the Chaos Gods' most favorite and deadly executioner.
He was cursed some time ago to forever kill scary beasts or champions of distant lands by the chaos gods for being too damn yappy after a long night of drinking with the lads. The curse stated that, should he fail or fall in battle, his soul would be damned forever to be viciously ravaged by Slaaneshi daemons, unable to enter the halls of Khorne.

In addition to being a warrior of immense skill, he is also a roast-master, able to burn the unholy ''''FUCK'''' out of anyone in the Warhammer world. His curse grants him the ability to speak and understood Khazalid, Eltharin, Queekish, Reikspiel, and even forgotten language like ancient Nehekharan, or untranslatable brute language gowl used by beasts like Yeti, with the fluency of a born native, making it much easier for him to roast their sorry asses charcoal black, forces his opponents in a state of blind rage that they disregarded all of their advantageous tools of war (their comrades, range/black powder weaponry, magic, etc...) and just charge into Wulfrik while leaving themselves open to any attacks.

He is not to be confused with a similar character who also has the same red hair, a massive sword and the ability to pull a long 1 minute insult from [[Samurai Jack]].

It is a shame that he did not duel [[Gotrek & Felix|Gotrek]] or feature in any of their novels, despite the fact that both kill monsters and champions on weekly basis.

It is also a shame that he never fought [[Nakai the Wanderer]] on any occasion since both shared the same nickname.

==The [[Gotrek & Felix|Gotrek]] of the Dark Gods==
Wulfrik was born into the Norscan clan of Sarl, bearing the mark of chaos upon his birth. He would grow to become a skilled, if somewhat arrogant warrior. After a particularly glorious victory from a battle known as the "Battle of Thousand Skulls" (the prizes of which were the hand of a beautiful princess and the crown of chieftain), Wulfrik attended a celebration held in honor of his clan's victory over their enemies, known as the Aeslings. Wulfrik, after having chugged eight barrels of mead and probably a few shots of Jägermeister, declared loud and for all to hear that he and he alone could best every warrior in the world, because he was the greatest and even the gods (big fucking mistake bruh) couldn’t train a better warrior. [[Nurgle]] ran off to cry, [[Slaanesh]] whacked off (as usual) and [[Khorne]] flew into a rage (as usual). [[Tzeentch]], on the other hand... hatched a plan... (as usual).

Insulted beyond compare, the chaos gods sent an emissary to Wulfrik as he lay sleeping. The daemon emissary came to Wulfrik's dream and carried him into the warp before proceeding to give him a tour of the world from the “[[warp|heavens]]” above. They visited the realms of the elves, and the dark domains of the [[skaven]]. They went to the woodland realms of the wood elves, the strongholds of the dwarves, the quite dead halls of Nagashizzar and the gleaming cities of the empire and everywhere they went would drown in a great tide of blood. The daemon then informed Wulfrik that the gods (in their infinite dickishness) had decided to impose upon his arrogant ass a divine mission, the terms of which state that he is to wander the world and claim the skulls of dreadful monsters and powerful champions. If he succeeds, he will be counted as an honored servant of the gods. If he fails (read, dies) well... [[Slaanesh]] gets to decide what happens then.

Wulfrik woke up the next morning with a crippling hangover and more importantly, “the gift of tongues.” This "gift" manifested itself as a mutation that twisted his tongue into the shape of a bird's and made it so that he could speak foreign languages as if he’d been born to each as well as understood foreign tongue when he listen by focusing his mind. A side effect is that he may shout random insults at people at completely inopportune times (no doubt Tzeentch was pissing himself after he came up with that one). Another “gift” was that he could now hear the gods in his head. From their whisper, they implore Wulfrik to go out and defeat a Tomb King named Khareops and offer up his rotten entrails to Nurgle. The voices began driving Wulfrik mad and so, between searching for a cure to his “gifts” and being a badass, he started searching for some way to get to Khemri.

Understood that the hot climate in the Southlands was no joke (most Norscans just don’t like it because it’s hot... and because everyone’s favorite desert daddy fucking pwned them the last time they landed, [[Settra the Imperishable #Return|see Settra's crown thief.]]) He learned from his trusted mentor Sigvtar that there is a certain powerful magical ship that can transport anyone anywhere in an instant (or close enough) and it was held and crafted by a Skaeling witch Baga Yar in a mighty stronghold. Wulfrik uses pretty much all of his life savings buying an army to lay siege to this fucking thing, and after he finally manages to get inside, he hacks the witch to pieces out of sheer spite. The witch doesn’t die (TIS BUT A FLESH WOUND) so he drops her old ass in a pot to boil to death while he goes down to claim his new ride. With ship, sword, bird tongue shaped tongue and a bloodthirsty crew, Wulfrik sets out in his journey of slaughtering anything with red blood, a pulse or is [[undead|able to move]]. Seriously, Giants, abominations, undead beasts, famous champions and noble heroes. Fucking *no one* is safe.

===Treachery===
Despite the fame coming from his various deeds completed for the gods, Wulfrik find no enjoyment, for he only wish to rule his clan and wed the chieftain's daughter Hjordis, a well known beautiful blondie with an arse everyone wants to bang. Logically, his wishes should've been granted for slaying Torgald, but the chieftain Viglundr, a devout follower and chosen of Tzeentch (he has the mark of Tzeentch on his heart) rejects it due to the sudden curse Wulfrik received (or so whatever bullshit a Tzeentch follower could spew). Viglundr believes a man who is cursed by the gods to hunt their preys for eternity is too busy to rule and adore his daughter that he would rather have Sveinbjorn, his son-in-law and an Aesling prince to received that privilege, also another way to forge a new alliance with the Aeslings (the same tribe Wulfrik pwned the night he received his “gifts”) as part of his scheme.

At some point during his adventure, Wulfrik meets Zarnath of Tokmars, a Kurgan shaman. He claimed that he knew a way to remove the gods "gifts", but he would only do so if noble and oh so heroic Wulfrik could do a quick RPG fetch quest and get a certain artefact called the "Smile of Sardiss" from the infamous [[Chaos Dwarves]] for him. Wulfrik did just that, flew his ship to the dark land (a barren wasteland with little water source and is impossible to travel through sea and river mind you) with his companion, risking their lives being shot at by a fuck tons of chaos stunties armed with Blundbuss (shotgun), hacked through uncountable amount of hobo goblins sentinels, killed a bull lord (after it let its guards down while being enraged by Wulftik's insults) and battling the chaos stunties' foul machinery (it was a chaos dwarf lord armed with power armor and flamethrower, but Wulfrik managed to burn him alive with his own weapon). The fight was intense that Zarnath had to help with his magic, but is no different than surviving daily battles in Norsca and Wulfrik triumph like the fucking beast he is. He gets the artifact at the cost of his dear friend Sigvatr, one of the few people he actually cared about in this war torn world, yet he died to the blades of two traitor comrades beside him. The fight also killed Zarnath except he's shown up again back on the ship because magic.

In the mean time however, Viglundr's scheme with the Aesling alliance isn't going well since Wulfrik is the one that killed the Aesling king and the relationship between the clans is a bit tattered even with their new chieftain, Sveinbjorn, and it will remain that way so long as Wulfrik lives. Viglundr decides then that the red haired badass must take a snowy dirt nap if his dreams of power and prestige are to have any chance of coming true.

As soon as Wulfrik and Co. returned, Wulfrik was welcomed with the news of his lovely princess's marriage to prince Sveinbjorn. The prospect of being cucked by Sveinbjorn angered Wulfrik to no end and led him to challenging Sveinbjorn to a duel. Going along with the flow, Sveinbjorn was ordered by his father to put Wulfrik’s little victory streak to an end. They would settle their score in the Wolf Forest, an private arena owned by Wulfrik (often he used that place for many things: recruitment, celebrations and duels) where they would do glorious battle in the name of the gods. However, to Wulfrik's surprise, the combatant wasn't Sveinbjorn, but rather a huge (about as tall as a troll), bloated chaos champion that Sveinbjorn’s daddy had hired. Note that the champion was a famous Aeslings hero known throughout the Norsca by the name Fraener, whom the gods has abandoned and its now but a Forsaken. Thanks to his own huge [[Plot Armor|balls of titanium]], Wulfrik beat the champion to sludge in a battle (even with the champion's [[Chaos Spawn|transformation]] midway into the battle, Wulfrik fought savagely and pounded the abomination down below the spike-filled arena pit), thus earning the respect of several hundred warriors and increasing the size of his horde significantly.

Having had their plan fail like a typical [[Abbadon|Saturday morning]] [[Nagash|Cartoon Villian]], Viglundr decided to have Sveinbjorn bribe one of Wulfrik's men, Broendulf, into betraying him. As for the second part of Zarnath's quest, he told Wulfrik and his gang to go to Ulthuan (also known as Alfheim in Norscan, nice Norse myth reference there Gee-dubs) in order to obtain the cure for Wulfrik's curse gift by having the magic of that place absorbed into the artefact he got before. Turns out, Zarnath is a treacherous asshole who had been plotting Wulfrik's demise from the beginning, meaning the quest to obtain chaos dwarves' artefact was naught but an excuse to get Wulfrik killed. After the gang landed on Cothique, climbed its cliff shore and traveled down its prairie. There, the sorcerer fooled Wulfrik and his merry band of merry savages into killing a group of elven maidens praying at a shrine, telling them that they were vile witches preparing to unleash havoc on the Norscans with foul elven magic. Turns out, they were the wives of elven nobles, praying for fertility and healthy babies if they were already pregnant (oh boy Khorne's gonna be pissed, slaughter of the weak? Big no no. Tiny skulls do make good necklaces tho, but Khaine? He should be the one killing these elf feotuses!)

Zarnath then revealed his true nature, presumably twirling a cartoonish mustache, before disappearing into a cloud of smoke (because it was but his magic hologram which he controlled from Norsca), alerting nearly every warrior on the bloody continent of Ulthuan while doing it. The Elves and Wulfrik's gang then had a massive battle that caused Khorne to violently ejaculate molten brass all over the place (Slaanesh was indeed pleased, before you ask). Although the elves outnumbered the gang with high numbers of Silver Helms and Elven bowman, the Norscan gang fought to the very end, especially Wulfrik, who was fairly lucky the whole time (The Smile of Sardiss he bought contained some kind of demon that kept away Elf phantom that tried to rot them) and so biblically pissed off at the betrayal that he injured a great pale Merwyrm while fighting his way back to the sea. Still, the battle ended up killing everyone involved except Wulfrik and Broendulf and destroyed the Seafang, Wulfriks kickass magic Viking boat, leaving only the figurehead which was, conveniently, the only part that mattered as it held all the magic in it. The two warriors escaped using just Seafang's figurehead, strapped to the front of an Elven galley.

While trespassing the warp in a similar fashion related to 40k, Broendulf confessed to Wulfrik about Viglundr's plotting against him as well as his part of the plan. Hilariously, the reason for Broendulf's betrayal is so he could have Hjordis for himself since Sveinbjorn himself claimed to him that he has [[FATAL|erectile dysfunction]] and is not interested in the princess the slightest. The statement was later rebuked by Wulfrik by him calling him twice the fool for believing them and said that [[derp|most of the tribesman were actually Sveinbjorn's bastard sons, as well as those of the nearby tribe]]. Whatever the misunderstanding, Broendulf was unable to turn on Wulfrik who had saved his life so many times during the battle. Despite his part in the treachery, Wulfrik partnered up with Broendulf, with Broendulf vowing to remain by Wulfrik's side until their enemies had been dealt with.

===Vengeance===
The two later found themselves in Reikland, near the Empire city of Wisborg. After killing some weak soulthing riverwarden and soldiers, Wulfrik came to a conclusion that Zarnath is but a Southling wizard since it was him that willed the ship to fly to where Zarnath lives, and yet the ships carries them to a Southling city. Planning to exact his vengeance on this traitorous Southling dog, Wulfrik traveled back to Norsca and his clan to muster himself up a massive army. To do that, he went for the higher-ups (also known as Viglundr and Sveinbjorn). Broendulf had to stay at the Southling city to watch for Zarnath's movement.

As he slaughtered his way into the tower where Sveinbjorn's quarter located, Wulfrik in all his anger caught Sveinbjorn and Hjordis naked in the bed. Apparently, after done tricked Wulfrik and his gang, Zarnath told everyone in the tribe about Wulfrik's death (or he thought) then said he is going back to his homeland far north (or scramble back to the further south where he and the weak Southling lives). Wulfrik angrily bitch slapped the ever loving shit out Sveinbjorn for trying to have someone kill him rather the trying to do it himself, before continuing to bitchslap him Deadpool style (HE LOVES ME. HE LOVES ME NOT.). He also scolded Hjordis for being a cheating slut for immediately sleep with another man shortly after his demise. The memory of Zarnath's treason and Sigvatr's death makes him all the more angry as he pounded Sveinbjorn even harder. The beating stops when Viglundr showed up. Not wanting the Aesling to attack due to the death of their puppet lord, Viglundr beseeches Wulfrik to spare Sveinbjorn’s cowardly ass, offering him the support he required to muster enough troops to siege the city (even offer Hjordis to him, except she is but "damaged good" to Wulfrik now), but only if Wulfrik abandoned any lord status in the clan and vowed never to try at claiming the crown again. Wulfrik did just that, abandoning his desire for power and embracing his new role as the Gods Executioner. He then repaired the Seafang with wood from an ancient and dangerous troll tree monster (most likely a chaotic brother to the [[Athel Loren|oak of ages]]) living in the Norscan tundra and prepared his troops to attack the Empire city.

It turns out Zarnath was but an imperial named Ludwig Stossel of the Celestial Order. The real reason why Zarnath tried to kill Wulfrik was because he had foresaw his death at Wulfrik’s hands from his crystal orb. He tried to prevent it by killing Wulfrik early on but failed, and he can't killed him directly because he knew Wulfrik's curse would transfer to him. Perhaps if Zarnath hadn't given the man who he had foreseen to kill him a reason to want him dead, he would have lived longer, oh well.

Either way, Ludwig was doomed from the start anyway since it was Tzeentch who had request Wulfrik in a dream to retrieve the "last breathe" of a town. That last breathe actually belongs to the wizard, except Wulfrik didn't knew back then, nor did Tzeentch revealed the bounty's name (the god of change sure likes complicate riddles) and it was way before Wulfrik had met Zarnath.

In the siege of Wisborg, Wulfrik defeated a powerful warrior priest ([[troll|whom Wulfrik insulted by comparing the twin-tailed comet symbol to that of Slaanesh, mocking he has seen similar hammer from his father which he assume he got from the priest's father, and that his hammer is but kitchen tool used to tenderize pork]]), the baron of Wisborg (whom Wulfrik make him fall from his horse and stabbed him), the baron's wife (whom was used as part of insult for Wulfrik to force the baron's army out of the gate, claiming he [[troll|only came to see his "wife and children"]]), and then ordered the entire city stripped of its valuables... Norscan style (translation:they looted and pillaged the FUCK out of it and maybe raised a few idols of their dark gods and all).

Broendulf was later found in a torture cage with his two eyes dug out during torture (he was caught because of a tarvan brawl where he injured no less than 7 people, 2 Morr priests and 5 healers, while posing as a Middenlander). Despite the pact he had made with Broendulf, Wulfrik thought of it as hollow mockery like the dreams his gods shown to him, something that is not worth winning. Despite Broendulf's constant demands to die fighting in his own chaotic blindness, Wulfrik did not gave him an honorable battle, but a stab in the brain while mocking him as a Southling in front of his helmsman friend like they've never met before.

Zarnath, or Ludwig by this point was hiding in the last safe place in the town: the castle's tower where his laboratory reside. He was in fact having guilt trip. He regretted the death of many innocents that died in the town and the Elves that were killed on Clothique (but not the Chaos Dwarf or the Norscans because chaos is bad, but he has no right to judge since he is even '''WORSE'''). In an last act to redeem himself, he decided kill Wulfrik with every means necessary. He resort to dark magic where it gives him enough energy to power a statue, an automaton he made based on the designs of the Tomb King's Ushabti. Now that he had tainted his soul with dark magic, even if he were to survive, he would either be hunted down by witch hunters or vigilant agents from his own order (the dark gods gets to have his soul all the same). Ludwig is. In. Every. Possible. Way. '''FUCKED'''.

In the final confrontation with the wizard, Wulfrik fought his Ushabti on a spiral stairway leading to his lab. Ushabti's material body shows strong resistance to Wulfrik's blade as well as its gigantic blades that are capable of cutting down many Norsii warriors like butters. The tide turned when he notice a [[Tzeentch|black bird cawing at a flask on the floor]]. The flask's leaking floor melting content and it's smell is nostalgic enough for Norscans like Wulfrik to realized it is troll vomit that he threw the damn thing at the Ushabti, melting its inner component and thus shutting it down.

For Ludwig's treason, he is subjugated to one of the most torturous deaths imaginable... the Blood Eagle, a popular [[Khorne|Khornate]] sacrifice ritual ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle as well as a reference to the alleged viking sacrificial ritual - but let's pretend it's real]) done only by the Norsii to their most hated enemies. [[grimdark|The performer must cut open and dig out their victim's lungs while they are still alive, then place both lungs over their shoulders to give the appearance of blood soaked wings, hence the name “blood raven”]]. With Ludwig letting go of his last dying breathe, the bounty was fulfilled. [[Just as Planned|Tzeentch is pleased]].

With the death of Ludwig "Zarnath" Stossel and Broendulf, Sveinbjorn was next. Sveinbjorn, being a treachery scum like his father had already schemed a betrayal of Seafang takeover by smuggled more than dozen of his man onto the ship and bribed the crewman to hoard all the loot onto the Seafang, thought he could escape with all the loot. Wulfrik of course saw through the snake's scheme and out bribed Sveinbjorn. He promised his crewman with every bit of Sveinbjorn's possessions, coin, beer, his hold and his thrall if they've captured him, whereas Sveinbjorn only promised a quarter of the loot from the raid.

Wulfrik then proceed to humiliate Sveinbjorn by striping him naked, having his army's long ship flying Sveinbjorn's flag, for Wulfrik had plans to damn Sveinbjorn's honor to all eternity. To do that, he first released the warrior priest that was defeated and captured from earlier. The priest was mounted on Sveinbjorn's steed to deliver Wulfrik's message to the Emperor, which the priest agreed due to vengeful intent to see the Norscans' destruction, because the Emperor would respond by sending a fleet after them. Just before Seafang used its warp teleportation, sending Wulfrik and his allies fleet back home, Wulfrik cut the chain, stranding his allies at Southling's land as the target of the Southling's fleet sent by their Emperor. Since the Seafang flew Sveinbjorn's banner at the time, both the Southlings and the Norscan allies would blame Sveinbjorn. Any Norscans who made it back would tell everyone that Sveinbjorn had betrayed them to the Southlings, causing everyone to brand him a worse traitor than Dletch Ogrefeeder! (Note: Dletch is known for allowing an Ogre tribe called the Blackgut into his chaos host and paying them by letting each ogre eat one of his soldiers everyday). Sveinbjorn of course was horrified by what was coming to him and begged Wulfrik for mercy. Too late bitch!

Wulfrik then shoved a pipe in Sveinbjorn's mouth and through it a venomous snake into his belly, promised him that as the cherry on the sundae of his humiliation Sveinbjorn's body would be sent back to his father's hall with the name [[troll|"Sveinbjorn Snakebelly"]].

After that, Wulfrik returned to Viglundr with news of his son's passing and misbehaving. With Aesling's chief dead and the hope of peace destroyed plus the betrayed Norscans from the raid being after him, Viglundr could only sit in his throne and weep softly as Wulfrik turned and left the hall of the Sarls, knowing as he did that, though Wulfrik never raised his sword, he had killed the entire tribe.

===The Eternal Executioner of the Dark Gods===
In the end, Wulfrik realized that his curse was more of a blessing then he gave it credit for, a true gift from the gods. Without the power of the Seafang, he could not have appeased the gods by collecting the skulls and hearts of their enemies. Without his fame as the Worldwalker, he could not have gained the loyalty of his men, and Without the lies of Zarnath, Viglundr, and Sveinbjorn, the pieces would never have come together. The Gods had ultimately helped him exact vengeance and gain glory, if in a really dickish and convoluted way.

Once he was alone on the ship, Wulfrik brought a wrapped silk sheet out of his cabin to make a sacrifice to the Chaos Gods; Hjordis, as Wulfrik had killed Hjordis, cut her up and wrapped what was left of her in the sheet.

First, her pale face skin for Khorne, a face he would kissed.

Second, her heart for Slaanesh, which he would've cherished.

Third, her belly for Nurgle, which would've held his sons and daughters when pregnant.

Then finally her golden hair to Tzeentch, the last hope of his love.

With his faith restored, his old tribe gone, his enemies slain, his forces replenished and his unfaithful lover screaming in the hands of the gods, Wulfrik set out on his quest once more, embracing his destiny as the Wanderer.

==The End times==
According to Josh Reynolds, Wulfrik was first seen with his flying ship in Ind. The gods probably told him to offer the skulls of the thousand gods, fitting for an executioner like him. Other champions like Galrauch, Arbaal and Dechala were there as well.

After that, his super convenient ship carried him back to the siege of Middenland where Archaon's army resided. He got bored waiting for Valten so he decided to duel Valnir to pass the time (What a great guy), with Sigvald inviting himself to watch. When Valten got there, Wulfrik was still dueling and Sigvald was bitching at Valten on how he deserved to fight the real Sigmar (what a prick), using that excuse to leave. As soon as Sigvald left, Wulfrik happened to finish off Valnir and went straight for Valten. It is said that Wulfrik put up the strongest fight out of anyone against Valten (aside from Archaon) but he still got a decent helping of sacred warhammer straight to the face. Just before then, with his dying breath, Wulfrik said to Valten "gg" before his soul was torn from his body to be tortured by the demons of the warp forever for failing in his impossibly difficult task. The dark gods might resurrect him in the Age of Sigmar, but one can only guess, and hope that one day, the wanderer will wander his way back.

==On the tabletop==
Wulfric is an incredibly powerful unit in the tabletop. He has 8 weapon skill, 5 strength, 4 toughness, and 2 wounds. This is nothing too incredible (besides his overwhelming strength) and since he is a bit flimsy he could potentially get taken out by a stray arrow or two. However, the thing that really makes him terrifying is his Gift of Tongues special ability. This ability allows him to challenge any unit in the opponent's army to battle, and guess what? Your opponent can't say no. See a flimsy general? Dead. Irritating caster? Dead. Keystone model, like a Packmaster? Dead. [[THIN YOUR PAINTS|Paint job so horrible]] you can't help but [[rage]] at it? Ziggity Zed, they're FUCKING DEAD.

==Total War: WARHAMMER==
He was a DLC lord, serving as the faction leader of Norsca (later changed into World Walkers in the Potion of Speed update) in an original Chaos sub-faction as the last DLC for the 1st game. The difference between the tabletop is that he is now able to ride a mammoth and summon his magic boat in battle to wreck Empire fools in a straight line (on the tabletop, Seafang is a special rule that allow Wulfrik and his marauders to ambush their enemies using their magic ship). While his Gift of Tongues ability is missing due to the absence of duel challenge system, he does have another ability from the tabletop called the "Hunter of Champions", which is an extremely powerful debuff that decreases the armor, melee defense and the speed of an opponent, as if Wulfrik is hexing them like a wizard instead of challenging them since it also benefits other units into attacking said weakened character.

==gallery==
<gallery>
File:Wulfrik the wanderer.png|NEED MORE SKULL FOR THE DARK GODS!!!!!ESPECIALLY KHORNE!!!! (And he's not even a Khornate)
File:Wulfrik ttw.jpg|prepare your anus old world mortals!
File:Wulfrik_Gif.jpg.gif|BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION!!!
</gallery>

{{Chaos-Champions}}

Wulfrik the Wanderer

2021-01-04T11:24:58Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:A411:F40D:90A5:3D4: /* Vengeance */

[[File:Download_(1).jpg|500px|right|thumb|''We fought monsters, and we become them...'']]
{{Topquote|Face me if you dare, stunted whelp, or do you lack even an Elven maid's courage? I thought the Sons of Grungni were great warriors, but perhaps you are no true Dwarf. Indeed, maybe you are instead some breed of bearded goblin, though in truth, I have seen a finer beard on a Troll's back-side.|Wulfrik, roasting some stuntie welp so hard it literally set their beard on fire.}}
{{Topquote|You favour birds, Zarnath? Since you like birds so much, traitor, I will make you one.|Wulfrik, about to rape Zarnath with the torture death of Blood Raven}}
{{Topquote|We seek the monsters that you fear the most. We chase the nightmares that haunt your cowardly dreams. The deadlier the prey, the more we exult in the hunt! The more we honour our Gods! This harsh land breeds the savage; and we revel in it. The Old World calls, ripe for our taking. We fought monsters, and we became them|Wulfrik, during the trailer for the Norsca faction of [[Total War: WARHAMMER]]}}

Wulfrik the Wanderer, also known as the Eternal Challenger, the Inescapable One and the World Walker, is the ultimate sea-faring warrior as well as the Chaos Gods' most favorite and deadly executioner.
He was cursed some time ago to forever kill scary beasts or champions of distant lands by the chaos gods for being too damn yappy after a long night of drinking with the lads. The curse stated that, should he fail or fall in battle, his soul would be damned forever to be viciously ravaged by Slaaneshi daemons, unable to enter the halls of Khorne.

In addition to being a warrior of immense skill, he is also a roast-master, able to burn the unholy ''''FUCK'''' out of anyone in the Warhammer world. His curse grants him the ability to speak and understood Khazalid, Eltharin, Queekish, Reikspiel, and even forgotten language like ancient Nehekharan, or untranslatable brute language gowl used by beasts like Yeti, with the fluency of a born native, making it much easier for him to roast their sorry asses charcoal black, forces his opponents in a state of blind rage that they disregarded all of their advantageous tools of war (their comrades, range/black powder weaponry, magic, etc...) and just charge into Wulfrik while leaving themselves open to any attacks.

He is not to be confused with a similar character who also has the same red hair, a massive sword and the ability to pull a long 1 minute insult from [[Samurai Jack]].

It is a shame that he did not duel [[Gotrek & Felix|Gotrek]] or feature in any of their novels, despite the fact that both kill monsters and champions on weekly basis.

It is also a shame that he never fought [[Nakai the Wanderer]] on any occasion since both shared the same nickname.

==The [[Gotrek & Felix|Gotrek]] of the Dark Gods==
Wulfrik was born into the Norscan clan of Sarl, bearing the mark of chaos upon his birth. He would grow to become a skilled, if somewhat arrogant warrior. After a particularly glorious victory from a battle known as the "Battle of Thousand Skulls" (the prizes of which were the hand of a beautiful princess and the crown of chieftain), Wulfrik attended a celebration held in honor of his clan's victory over their enemies, known as the Aeslings. Wulfrik, after having chugged eight barrels of mead and probably a few shots of Jägermeister, declared loud and for all to hear that he and he alone could best every warrior in the world, because he was the greatest and even the gods (big fucking mistake bruh) couldn’t train a better warrior. [[Nurgle]] ran off to cry, [[Slaanesh]] whacked off (as usual) and [[Khorne]] flew into a rage (as usual). [[Tzeentch]], on the other hand... hatched a plan... (as usual).

Insulted beyond compare, the chaos gods sent an emissary to Wulfrik as he lay sleeping. The daemon emissary came to Wulfrik's dream and carried him into the warp before proceeding to give him a tour of the world from the “[[warp|heavens]]” above. They visited the realms of the elves, and the dark domains of the [[skaven]]. They went to the woodland realms of the wood elves, the strongholds of the dwarves, the quite dead halls of Nagashizzar and the gleaming cities of the empire and everywhere they went would drown in a great tide of blood. The daemon then informed Wulfrik that the gods (in their infinite dickishness) had decided to impose upon his arrogant ass a divine mission, the terms of which state that he is to wander the world and claim the skulls of dreadful monsters and powerful champions. If he succeeds, he will be counted as an honored servant of the gods. If he fails (read, dies) well... [[Slaanesh]] gets to decide what happens then.

Wulfrik woke up the next morning with a crippling hangover and more importantly, “the gift of tongues.” This "gift" manifested itself as a mutation that twisted his tongue into the shape of a bird's and made it so that he could speak foreign languages as if he’d been born to each as well as understood foreign tongue when he listen by focusing his mind. A side effect is that he may shout random insults at people at completely inopportune times (no doubt Tzeentch was pissing himself after he came up with that one). Another “gift” was that he could now hear the gods in his head. From their whisper, they implore Wulfrik to go out and defeat a Tomb King named Khareops and offer up his rotten entrails to Nurgle. The voices began driving Wulfrik mad and so, between searching for a cure to his “gifts” and being a badass, he started searching for some way to get to Khemri.

Understood that the hot climate in the Southlands was no joke (most Norscans just don’t like it because it’s hot... and because everyone’s favorite desert daddy fucking pwned them the last time they landed, [[Settra the Imperishable #Return|see Settra's crown thief.]]) He learned from his trusted mentor Sigvtar that there is a certain powerful magical ship that can transport anyone anywhere in an instant (or close enough) and it was held and crafted by a Skaeling witch Baga Yar in a mighty stronghold. Wulfrik uses pretty much all of his life savings buying an army to lay siege to this fucking thing, and after he finally manages to get inside, he hacks the witch to pieces out of sheer spite. The witch doesn’t die (TIS BUT A FLESH WOUND) so he drops her old ass in a pot to boil to death while he goes down to claim his new ride. With ship, sword, bird tongue shaped tongue and a bloodthirsty crew, Wulfrik sets out in his journey of slaughtering anything with red blood, a pulse or is [[undead|able to move]]. Seriously, Giants, abominations, undead beasts, famous champions and noble heroes. Fucking *no one* is safe.

===Treachery===
Despite the fame coming from his various deeds completed for the gods, Wulfrik find no enjoyment, for he only wish to rule his clan and wed the chieftain's daughter Hjordis, a well known beautiful blondie with an arse everyone wants to bang. Logically, his wishes should've been granted for slaying Torgald, but the chieftain Viglundr, a devout follower and chosen of Tzeentch (he has the mark of Tzeentch on his heart) rejects it due to the sudden curse Wulfrik received (or so whatever bullshit a Tzeentch follower could spew). Viglundr believes a man who is cursed by the gods to hunt their preys for eternity is too busy to rule and adore his daughter that he would rather have Sveinbjorn, his son-in-law and an Aesling prince to received that privilege, also another way to forge a new alliance with the Aeslings (the same tribe Wulfrik pwned the night he received his “gifts”) as part of his scheme.

At some point during his adventure, Wulfrik meets Zarnath of Tokmars, a Kurgan shaman. He claimed that he knew a way to remove the gods "gifts", but he would only do so if noble and oh so heroic Wulfrik could do a quick RPG fetch quest and get a certain artefact called the "Smile of Sardiss" from the infamous [[Chaos Dwarves]] for him. Wulfrik did just that, flew his ship to the dark land (a barren wasteland with little water source and is impossible to travel through sea and river mind you) with his companion, risking their lives being shot at by a fuck tons of chaos stunties armed with Blundbuss (shotgun), hacked through uncountable amount of hobo goblins sentinels, killed a bull lord (after it let its guards down while being enraged by Wulftik's insults) and battling the chaos stunties' foul machinery (it was a chaos dwarf lord armed with power armor and flamethrower, but Wulfrik managed to burn him alive with his own weapon). The fight was intense that Zarnath had to help with his magic, but is no different than surviving daily battles in Norsca and Wulfrik triumph like the fucking beast he is. He gets the artifact at the cost of his dear friend Sigvatr, one of the few people he actually cared about in this war torn world, yet he died to the blades of two traitor comrades beside him. The fight also killed Zarnath except he's shown up again back on the ship because magic.

In the mean time however, Viglundr's scheme with the Aesling alliance isn't going well since Wulfrik is the one that killed the Aesling king and the relationship between the clans is a bit tattered even with their new chieftain, Sveinbjorn, and it will remain that way so long as Wulfrik lives. Viglundr decides then that the red haired badass must take a snowy dirt nap if his dreams of power and prestige are to have any chance of coming true.

As soon as Wulfrik and Co. returned, Wulfrik was welcomed with the news of his lovely princess's marriage to prince Sveinbjorn. The prospect of being cucked by Sveinbjorn angered Wulfrik to no end and led him to challenging Sveinbjorn to a duel. Going along with the flow, Sveinbjorn was ordered by his father to put Wulfrik’s little victory streak to an end. They would settle their score in the Wolf Forest, an private arena owned by Wulfrik (often he used that place for many things: recruitment, celebrations and duels) where they would do glorious battle in the name of the gods. However, to Wulfrik's surprise, the combatant wasn't Sveinbjorn, but rather a huge (about as tall as a troll), bloated chaos champion that Sveinbjorn’s daddy had hired. Note that the champion was a famous Aeslings hero known throughout the Norsca by the name Fraener, whom the gods has abandoned and its now but a Forsaken. Thanks to his own huge [[Plot Armor|balls of titanium]], Wulfrik beat the champion to sludge in a battle (even with the champion's [[Chaos Spawn|transformation]] midway into the battle, Wulfrik fought savagely and pounded the abomination down below the spike-filled arena pit), thus earning the respect of several hundred warriors and increasing the size of his horde significantly.

Having had their plan fail like a typical [[Abbadon|Saturday morning]] [[Nagash|Cartoon Villian]], Viglundr decided to have Sveinbjorn bribe one of Wulfrik's men, Broendulf, into betraying him. As for the second part of Zarnath's quest, he told Wulfrik and his gang to go to Ulthuan (also known as Alfheim in Norscan, nice Norse myth reference there Gee-dubs) in order to obtain the cure for Wulfrik's curse gift by having the magic of that place absorbed into the artefact he got before. Turns out, Zarnath is a treacherous asshole who had been plotting Wulfrik's demise from the beginning, meaning the quest to obtain chaos dwarves' artefact was naught but an excuse to get Wulfrik killed. After the gang landed on Cothique, climbed its cliff shore and traveled down its prairie. There, the sorcerer fooled Wulfrik and his merry band of merry savages into killing a group of elven maidens praying at a shrine, telling them that they were vile witches preparing to unleash havoc on the Norscans with foul elven magic. Turns out, they were the wives of elven nobles, praying for fertility and healthy babies if they were already pregnant (oh boy Khorne's gonna be pissed, slaughter of the weak? Big no no. Tiny skulls do make good necklaces tho, but Khaine? He should be the one killing these elf feotuses!)

Zarnath then revealed his true nature, presumably twirling a cartoonish mustache, before disappearing into a cloud of smoke (because it was but his magic hologram which he controlled from Norsca), alerting nearly every warrior on the bloody continent of Ulthuan while doing it. The Elves and Wulfrik's gang then had a massive battle that caused Khorne to violently ejaculate molten brass all over the place (Slaanesh was indeed pleased, before you ask). Although the elves outnumbered the gang with high numbers of Silver Helms and Elven bowman, the Norscan gang fought to the very end, especially Wulfrik, who was fairly lucky the whole time (The Smile of Sardiss he bought contained some kind of demon that kept away Elf phantom that tried to rot them) and so biblically pissed off at the betrayal that he injured a great pale Merwyrm while fighting his way back to the sea. Still, the battle ended up killing everyone involved except Wulfrik and Broendulf and destroyed the Seafang, Wulfriks kickass magic Viking boat, leaving only the figurehead which was, conveniently, the only part that mattered as it held all the magic in it. The two warriors escaped using just Seafang's figurehead, strapped to the front of an Elven galley.

While trespassing the warp in a similar fashion related to 40k, Broendulf confessed to Wulfrik about Viglundr's plotting against him as well as his part of the plan. Hilariously, the reason for Broendulf's betrayal is so he could have Hjordis for himself since Sveinbjorn himself claimed to him that he has [[FATAL|erectile dysfunction]] and is not interested in the princess the slightest. The statement was later rebuked by Wulfrik by him calling him twice the fool for believing them and said that [[derp|most of the tribesman were actually Sveinbjorn's bastard sons, as well as those of the nearby tribe]]. Whatever the misunderstanding, Broendulf was unable to turn on Wulfrik who had saved his life so many times during the battle. Despite his part in the treachery, Wulfrik partnered up with Broendulf, with Broendulf vowing to remain by Wulfrik's side until their enemies had been dealt with.

===Vengeance===
The two later found themselves in Reikland, near the Empire city of Wisborg. After killing some weak soulthing riverwarden and soldiers, Wulfrik came to a conclusion that Zarnath is but a Southling wizard since it was him that willed the ship to fly to where Zarnath lives, and yet the ships carries them to a Southling city. Planning to exact his vengeance on this traitorous Southling dog, Wulfrik traveled back to Norsca and his clan to muster himself up a massive army. To do that, he went for the higher-ups (also known as Viglundr and Sveinbjorn). Broendulf had to stay at the Southling city to watch for Zarnath's movement.

As he slaughtered his way into the tower where Sveinbjorn's quarter located, Wulfrik in all his anger caught Sveinbjorn and Hjordis naked in the bed. Apparently, after done tricked Wulfrik and his gang, Zarnath told everyone in the tribe about Wulfrik's death (or he thought) then said he is going back to his homeland far north (or scramble back to the further south where he and the weak Southling lives). Wulfrik angrily bitch slapped the ever loving shit out Sveinbjorn for trying to have someone kill him rather the trying to do it himself, before continuing to bitchslap him Deadpool style (HE LOVES ME. HE LOVES ME NOT.). He also scolded Hjordis for being a cheating slut for immediately sleep with another man shortly after his demise. The memory of Zarnath's treason and Sigvatr's death makes him all the more angry as he pounded Sveinbjorn even harder. The beating stops when Viglundr showed up. Not wanting the Aesling to attack due to the death of their puppet lord, Viglundr beseeches Wulfrik to spare Sveinbjorn’s cowardly ass, offering him the support he required to muster enough troops to siege the city (even offer Hjordis to him, except she is but "damaged good" to Wulfrik now), but only if Wulfrik abandoned any lord status in the clan and vowed never to try at claiming the crown again. Wulfrik did just that, abandoning his desire for power and embracing his new role as the Gods Executioner. He then repaired the Seafang with wood from an ancient and dangerous troll tree monster (most likely a chaotic brother to the [[Athel Loren|oak of ages]]) living in the Norscan tundra and prepared his troops to attack the Empire city.

It turns out Zarnath was but an imperial named Ludwig Stossel of the Celestial Order. The real reason why Zarnath tried to kill Wulfrik was because he had foresaw his death at Wulfrik’s hands from his crystal orb. He tried to prevent it by killing Wulfrik early on but failed, and he can't killed him directly because he knew Wulfrik's curse would transfer to him. Perhaps if Zarnath hadn't given the man who he had foreseen to kill him a reason to want him dead, he would have lived longer, oh well.

Either way, Ludwig was doomed from the start anyway since it was Tzeentch who had request Wulfrik in a dream to retrieve the "last breathe" of a town. That last breathe actually belongs to the wizard, except Wulfrik didn't knew back then, nor did Tzeentch revealed the bounty's name (the god of change sure likes complicate riddles) and it was way before Wulfrik had met Zarnath.

In the siege of Wisborg, Wulfrik defeated a powerful warrior priest ([[troll|whom Wulfrik insulted by comparing the twin-tailed comet symbol to that of Slaanesh, mocking he has seen similar hammer from his father which he assume he got from the priest's father, and that his hammer is but kitchen tool used to tenderize pork]]), the baron of Wisborg (whom Wulfrik make him fall from his horse and stabbed him), the baron's wife (whom was used as part of insult for Wulfrik to force the baron's army out of the gate, claiming he [[troll|only came to see his "wife and children"]]), and then ordered the entire city stripped of its valuables... Norscan style (translation:they looted and pillaged the FUCK out of it and maybe raised a few idols of their dark gods and all).

Broendulf was later found in a torture cage with his two eyes dug out during torture (he was caught because of a tarvan brawl where he injured no less than 7 people, 2 Morr priests and 5 healers, while posing as a Middenlander). Despite the pact he had made with Broendulf, Wulfrik thought of it as hollow mockery like the dreams his gods shown to him, something that is not worth winning. Despite Broendulf's constant demands to die fighting in his own chaotic blindness, Wulfrik did not gave him an honorable battle, but a stab in the brain while mocking him as a Southling in front of his helmsman friend like they've never met before.

Zarnath, or Ludwig by this point was hiding in the last safe place in the town: the castle's tower where his laboratory reside. He was in fact having guilt trip. He regretted the death of many innocents that died in the town and the Elves that were killed on Clothique (but not the Chaos Dwarf or the Norscans because chaos is bad, but he has no right to judge since he is even '''WORSE'''). In an last act to redeem himself, he decided kill Wulfrik with every means necessary. He resort to dark magic where it gives him enough energy to power a statue, an automaton he made based on the designs of the Tomb King's Ushabti. Now that he had tainted his soul with dark magic, even if he were to survive, he would either be hunted down by witch hunters or vigilant agents from his own order (the dark gods gets to have his soul all the same). Ludwig is. In. Every. Possible. Way. '''FUCKED'''.

In the final confrontation with the wizard, Wulfrik fought his Ushabti on a spiral stairway leading to his lab. Ushabti's material body shows strong resistance to Wulfrik's blade as well as its gigantic blades that are capable of cutting down many Norsii warriors like butters. The tide turned when he notice a [[Tzeentch|black bird cawing at a flask on the floor]]. The flask's leaking floor melting content and it's smell is nostalgic enough for Norscans like Wulfrik to realized it is troll vomit that he threw the damn thing at the Ushabti, melting its inner component and thus shutting it down.

For Ludwig's treason, he is subjugated to one of the most torturous deaths imaginable... the Blood Eagle, a popular [[Khorne|Khornate]] sacrifice ritual ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle as well as a reference to the alleged viking sacrificial ritual - but let's pretend it's real]) done only by the Norsii to their most hated enemies. [[grimdark|The performer must cut open and dig out their victim's lungs while they are still alive, then place both lungs over their shoulders to give the appearance of blood soaked wings, hence the name “blood raven”]]. With Ludwig letting go of his last dying breathe, the bounty was fulfilled. [[Just as Planned|Tzeentch is pleased]].

With the death of Ludwig "Zarnath" Stossel and Broendulf, Sveinbjorn was next. Sveinbjorn, being a treachery scum like his father had already schemed a betrayal of Seafang takeover by smuggled more than dozen of his man onto the ship and bribed the crewman to hoard all the loot onto the Seafang, thought he could escape with all the loot. Wulfrik of course saw through the snake's scheme and out bribed Sveinbjorn. He promised his crewman with every bit of Sveinbjorn's possessions, coin, beer, his hold and his thrall if they've captured him, whereas Sveinbjorn only promised a quarter of the loot from the raid.

Wulfrik then proceed to humiliate Sveinbjorn by striping him naked, having his army's long ship flying Sveinbjorn's flag, for Wulfrik had plans to damn Sveinbjorn's honor to all eternity. To do that, he first released the warrior priest that was defeated and captured from earlier. The priest was mounted on Sveinbjorn's steed to deliver Wulfrik's message to the Emperor, which the priest agreed due to vengeful intent to see the Norscans' destruction, because the Emperor would respond by sending a fleet after them. Just before Seafang used its warp teleportation, sending Wulfrik and his allies fleet back home, Wulfrik cut the chain, stranding his allies at Southling's land as the target of the Southling's fleet sent by their Emperor. Since the Seafang flew Sveinbjorn's banner at the time, both the Southlings and the Norscan allies would blame Sveinbjorn. Any Norscans who made it back would tell everyone that Sveinbjorn had betrayed them to the Southlings, causing everyone to brand him a worse traitor than Dletch Ogrefeeder! (Note: Dletch is known for allowing an Ogre tribe called the Blackgut into his chaos host and paying them by letting each ogre eat one of his soldiers everyday). Sveinbjorn of course was horrified by what was coming to him and begged Wulfrik for mercy. Too late bitch!

Wulfrik then shoved a pipe in Sveinbjorn's mouth and through it a venomous snake into his belly, promised him that as the cherry on the sundae of his humiliation Sveinbjorn's body would be sent back to his father's hall with the name [[troll|"Sveinbjorn Snakebelly"]].

After that, Wulfrik returned to Viglundr with news of his son's passing and misbehaving. With Aesling's chief dead and the hope of peace destroyed plus the betrayed Norscans from the raid being after him, Viglundr could only sit in his throne and weep softly as Wulfrik turned and left the hall of the Sarls, knowing as he did that, though Wulfrik never raised his sword, he had killed the entire tribe.

===The Eternal Executioner of the Dark Gods===
In the end, Wulfrik realized that his curse was more of a blessing then he gave it credit for, a true gift from the gods. Without the power of the Seafang, he could not have appeased the gods by collecting the skulls and hearts of their enemies. Without his fame as the Worldwalker, he could not have gained the loyalty of his men, and Without the lies of Zarnath, Viglundr, and Sveinbjorn, the pieces would never have come together. The Gods had ultimately helped him exact vengeance and gain glory, if in a really dickish and convoluted way.

Once he was alone on the ship, Wulfrik brought a wrapped silk sheet out of his cabin to make a sacrifice to the Chaos Gods; Hjordis, as Wulfrik had killed Hjordis, cut her up and wrapped what was left of her in the sheet.

First, her pale face skin for Khorne, a face he would kissed.

Second, her heart for Slaanesh, which he would've cherished.

Third, her belly for Nurgle, which would've held his sons and daughters when pregnant.

Then finally her golden hair to Tzeentch, the last hope of his love.

With his faith restored, his old tribe gone, his enemies slain, his forces replenished and his unfaithful lover screaming in the hands of the gods, Wulfrik set out on his quest once more, embracing his destiny as the Wanderer.

==The End times==
According to Josh Reynolds, Wulfrik was first seen with his flying ship in Ind. The gods probably told him to offer the skulls of the thousand gods, fitting for an executioner like him. Other champions like Galrauch, Arbaal and Dechala were there as well.

After that, his super convenient ship carried him back to the siege of Middenland where Archaon's army resided. He got bored waiting for Valten so he decided to duel Valnir to pass the time (What a great guy). When Valten got there, Wulfrik was still dueling and Sigvald was bitching at Valten on how he deserved to fight the real Sigmar (what a prick). As soon as Sigvald finished and left, Wulfrik just happened to finish off Valnir, and went straight for Valten. It is said that Wulfrik put up the strongest fight out of anyone against Valten (aside from Archaon) but he still got a decent helping of sacred warhammer straight to the face. Wulfrik, with his dying breath said to Valten "gg" before his soul was torn from his body to be tortured by the demons of the warp forever for failing in his impossibly difficult task. The dark gods might resurrect him in the Age of Sigmar, but one can only guess, and hope that one day, the wanderer will wander his way back.
==On the tabletop==
Wulfric is an incredibly powerful unit in the tabletop. He has 8 weapon skill, 5 strength, 4 toughness, and 2 wounds. This is nothing too incredible (besides his overwhelming strength) and since he is a bit flimsy he could potentially get taken out by a stray arrow or two. However, the thing that really makes him terrifying is his Gift of Tongues special ability. This ability allows him to challenge any unit in the opponent's army to battle, and guess what? Your opponent can't say no. See a flimsy general? Dead. Irritating caster? Dead. Keystone model, like a Packmaster? Dead. [[THIN YOUR PAINTS|Paint job so horrible]] you can't help but [[rage]] at it? Ziggity Zed, they're FUCKING DEAD.

==Total War: WARHAMMER==
He was a DLC lord, serving as the faction leader of Norsca (later changed into World Walkers in the Potion of Speed update) in an original Chaos sub-faction as the last DLC for the 1st game. The difference between the tabletop is that he is now able to ride a mammoth and summon his magic boat in battle to wreck Empire fools in a straight line (on the tabletop, Seafang is a special rule that allow Wulfrik and his marauders to ambush their enemies using their magic ship). While his Gift of Tongues ability is missing due to the absence of duel challenge system, he does have another ability from the tabletop called the "Hunter of Champions", which is an extremely powerful debuff that decreases the armor, melee defense and the speed of an opponent, as if Wulfrik is hexing them like a wizard instead of challenging them since it also benefits other units into attacking said weakened character.

==gallery==
<gallery>
File:Wulfrik the wanderer.png|NEED MORE SKULL FOR THE DARK GODS!!!!!ESPECIALLY KHORNE!!!! (And he's not even a Khornate)
File:Wulfrik ttw.jpg|prepare your anus old world mortals!
File:Wulfrik_Gif.jpg.gif|BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION!!!
</gallery>

{{Chaos-Champions}}

Wulfrik the Wanderer

2021-01-04T11:21:43Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:A411:F40D:90A5:3D4: /* The Eternal Executioner of the Dark Gods */

[[File:Download_(1).jpg|500px|right|thumb|''We fought monsters, and we become them...'']]
{{Topquote|Face me if you dare, stunted whelp, or do you lack even an Elven maid's courage? I thought the Sons of Grungni were great warriors, but perhaps you are no true Dwarf. Indeed, maybe you are instead some breed of bearded goblin, though in truth, I have seen a finer beard on a Troll's back-side.|Wulfrik, roasting some stuntie welp so hard it literally set their beard on fire.}}
{{Topquote|You favour birds, Zarnath? Since you like birds so much, traitor, I will make you one.|Wulfrik, about to rape Zarnath with the torture death of Blood Raven}}
{{Topquote|We seek the monsters that you fear the most. We chase the nightmares that haunt your cowardly dreams. The deadlier the prey, the more we exult in the hunt! The more we honour our Gods! This harsh land breeds the savage; and we revel in it. The Old World calls, ripe for our taking. We fought monsters, and we became them|Wulfrik, during the trailer for the Norsca faction of [[Total War: WARHAMMER]]}}

Wulfrik the Wanderer, also known as the Eternal Challenger, the Inescapable One and the World Walker, is the ultimate sea-faring warrior as well as the Chaos Gods' most favorite and deadly executioner.
He was cursed some time ago to forever kill scary beasts or champions of distant lands by the chaos gods for being too damn yappy after a long night of drinking with the lads. The curse stated that, should he fail or fall in battle, his soul would be damned forever to be viciously ravaged by Slaaneshi daemons, unable to enter the halls of Khorne.

In addition to being a warrior of immense skill, he is also a roast-master, able to burn the unholy ''''FUCK'''' out of anyone in the Warhammer world. His curse grants him the ability to speak and understood Khazalid, Eltharin, Queekish, Reikspiel, and even forgotten language like ancient Nehekharan, or untranslatable brute language gowl used by beasts like Yeti, with the fluency of a born native, making it much easier for him to roast their sorry asses charcoal black, forces his opponents in a state of blind rage that they disregarded all of their advantageous tools of war (their comrades, range/black powder weaponry, magic, etc...) and just charge into Wulfrik while leaving themselves open to any attacks.

He is not to be confused with a similar character who also has the same red hair, a massive sword and the ability to pull a long 1 minute insult from [[Samurai Jack]].

It is a shame that he did not duel [[Gotrek & Felix|Gotrek]] or feature in any of their novels, despite the fact that both kill monsters and champions on weekly basis.

It is also a shame that he never fought [[Nakai the Wanderer]] on any occasion since both shared the same nickname.

==The [[Gotrek & Felix|Gotrek]] of the Dark Gods==
Wulfrik was born into the Norscan clan of Sarl, bearing the mark of chaos upon his birth. He would grow to become a skilled, if somewhat arrogant warrior. After a particularly glorious victory from a battle known as the "Battle of Thousand Skulls" (the prizes of which were the hand of a beautiful princess and the crown of chieftain), Wulfrik attended a celebration held in honor of his clan's victory over their enemies, known as the Aeslings. Wulfrik, after having chugged eight barrels of mead and probably a few shots of Jägermeister, declared loud and for all to hear that he and he alone could best every warrior in the world, because he was the greatest and even the gods (big fucking mistake bruh) couldn’t train a better warrior. [[Nurgle]] ran off to cry, [[Slaanesh]] whacked off (as usual) and [[Khorne]] flew into a rage (as usual). [[Tzeentch]], on the other hand... hatched a plan... (as usual).

Insulted beyond compare, the chaos gods sent an emissary to Wulfrik as he lay sleeping. The daemon emissary came to Wulfrik's dream and carried him into the warp before proceeding to give him a tour of the world from the “[[warp|heavens]]” above. They visited the realms of the elves, and the dark domains of the [[skaven]]. They went to the woodland realms of the wood elves, the strongholds of the dwarves, the quite dead halls of Nagashizzar and the gleaming cities of the empire and everywhere they went would drown in a great tide of blood. The daemon then informed Wulfrik that the gods (in their infinite dickishness) had decided to impose upon his arrogant ass a divine mission, the terms of which state that he is to wander the world and claim the skulls of dreadful monsters and powerful champions. If he succeeds, he will be counted as an honored servant of the gods. If he fails (read, dies) well... [[Slaanesh]] gets to decide what happens then.

Wulfrik woke up the next morning with a crippling hangover and more importantly, “the gift of tongues.” This "gift" manifested itself as a mutation that twisted his tongue into the shape of a bird's and made it so that he could speak foreign languages as if he’d been born to each as well as understood foreign tongue when he listen by focusing his mind. A side effect is that he may shout random insults at people at completely inopportune times (no doubt Tzeentch was pissing himself after he came up with that one). Another “gift” was that he could now hear the gods in his head. From their whisper, they implore Wulfrik to go out and defeat a Tomb King named Khareops and offer up his rotten entrails to Nurgle. The voices began driving Wulfrik mad and so, between searching for a cure to his “gifts” and being a badass, he started searching for some way to get to Khemri.

Understood that the hot climate in the Southlands was no joke (most Norscans just don’t like it because it’s hot... and because everyone’s favorite desert daddy fucking pwned them the last time they landed, [[Settra the Imperishable #Return|see Settra's crown thief.]]) He learned from his trusted mentor Sigvtar that there is a certain powerful magical ship that can transport anyone anywhere in an instant (or close enough) and it was held and crafted by a Skaeling witch Baga Yar in a mighty stronghold. Wulfrik uses pretty much all of his life savings buying an army to lay siege to this fucking thing, and after he finally manages to get inside, he hacks the witch to pieces out of sheer spite. The witch doesn’t die (TIS BUT A FLESH WOUND) so he drops her old ass in a pot to boil to death while he goes down to claim his new ride. With ship, sword, bird tongue shaped tongue and a bloodthirsty crew, Wulfrik sets out in his journey of slaughtering anything with red blood, a pulse or is [[undead|able to move]]. Seriously, Giants, abominations, undead beasts, famous champions and noble heroes. Fucking *no one* is safe.

===Treachery===
Despite the fame coming from his various deeds completed for the gods, Wulfrik find no enjoyment, for he only wish to rule his clan and wed the chieftain's daughter Hjordis, a well known beautiful blondie with an arse everyone wants to bang. Logically, his wishes should've been granted for slaying Torgald, but the chieftain Viglundr, a devout follower and chosen of Tzeentch (he has the mark of Tzeentch on his heart) rejects it due to the sudden curse Wulfrik received (or so whatever bullshit a Tzeentch follower could spew). Viglundr believes a man who is cursed by the gods to hunt their preys for eternity is too busy to rule and adore his daughter that he would rather have Sveinbjorn, his son-in-law and an Aesling prince to received that privilege, also another way to forge a new alliance with the Aeslings (the same tribe Wulfrik pwned the night he received his “gifts”) as part of his scheme.

At some point during his adventure, Wulfrik meets Zarnath of Tokmars, a Kurgan shaman. He claimed that he knew a way to remove the gods "gifts", but he would only do so if noble and oh so heroic Wulfrik could do a quick RPG fetch quest and get a certain artefact called the "Smile of Sardiss" from the infamous [[Chaos Dwarves]] for him. Wulfrik did just that, flew his ship to the dark land (a barren wasteland with little water source and is impossible to travel through sea and river mind you) with his companion, risking their lives being shot at by a fuck tons of chaos stunties armed with Blundbuss (shotgun), hacked through uncountable amount of hobo goblins sentinels, killed a bull lord (after it let its guards down while being enraged by Wulftik's insults) and battling the chaos stunties' foul machinery (it was a chaos dwarf lord armed with power armor and flamethrower, but Wulfrik managed to burn him alive with his own weapon). The fight was intense that Zarnath had to help with his magic, but is no different than surviving daily battles in Norsca and Wulfrik triumph like the fucking beast he is. He gets the artifact at the cost of his dear friend Sigvatr, one of the few people he actually cared about in this war torn world, yet he died to the blades of two traitor comrades beside him. The fight also killed Zarnath except he's shown up again back on the ship because magic.

In the mean time however, Viglundr's scheme with the Aesling alliance isn't going well since Wulfrik is the one that killed the Aesling king and the relationship between the clans is a bit tattered even with their new chieftain, Sveinbjorn, and it will remain that way so long as Wulfrik lives. Viglundr decides then that the red haired badass must take a snowy dirt nap if his dreams of power and prestige are to have any chance of coming true.

As soon as Wulfrik and Co. returned, Wulfrik was welcomed with the news of his lovely princess's marriage to prince Sveinbjorn. The prospect of being cucked by Sveinbjorn angered Wulfrik to no end and led him to challenging Sveinbjorn to a duel. Going along with the flow, Sveinbjorn was ordered by his father to put Wulfrik’s little victory streak to an end. They would settle their score in the Wolf Forest, an private arena owned by Wulfrik (often he used that place for many things: recruitment, celebrations and duels) where they would do glorious battle in the name of the gods. However, to Wulfrik's surprise, the combatant wasn't Sveinbjorn, but rather a huge (about as tall as a troll), bloated chaos champion that Sveinbjorn’s daddy had hired. Note that the champion was a famous Aeslings hero known throughout the Norsca by the name Fraener, whom the gods has abandoned and its now but a Forsaken. Thanks to his own huge [[Plot Armor|balls of titanium]], Wulfrik beat the champion to sludge in a battle (even with the champion's [[Chaos Spawn|transformation]] midway into the battle, Wulfrik fought savagely and pounded the abomination down below the spike-filled arena pit), thus earning the respect of several hundred warriors and increasing the size of his horde significantly.

Having had their plan fail like a typical [[Abbadon|Saturday morning]] [[Nagash|Cartoon Villian]], Viglundr decided to have Sveinbjorn bribe one of Wulfrik's men, Broendulf, into betraying him. As for the second part of Zarnath's quest, he told Wulfrik and his gang to go to Ulthuan (also known as Alfheim in Norscan, nice Norse myth reference there Gee-dubs) in order to obtain the cure for Wulfrik's curse gift by having the magic of that place absorbed into the artefact he got before. Turns out, Zarnath is a treacherous asshole who had been plotting Wulfrik's demise from the beginning, meaning the quest to obtain chaos dwarves' artefact was naught but an excuse to get Wulfrik killed. After the gang landed on Cothique, climbed its cliff shore and traveled down its prairie. There, the sorcerer fooled Wulfrik and his merry band of merry savages into killing a group of elven maidens praying at a shrine, telling them that they were vile witches preparing to unleash havoc on the Norscans with foul elven magic. Turns out, they were the wives of elven nobles, praying for fertility and healthy babies if they were already pregnant (oh boy Khorne's gonna be pissed, slaughter of the weak? Big no no. Tiny skulls do make good necklaces tho, but Khaine? He should be the one killing these elf feotuses!)

Zarnath then revealed his true nature, presumably twirling a cartoonish mustache, before disappearing into a cloud of smoke (because it was but his magic hologram which he controlled from Norsca), alerting nearly every warrior on the bloody continent of Ulthuan while doing it. The Elves and Wulfrik's gang then had a massive battle that caused Khorne to violently ejaculate molten brass all over the place (Slaanesh was indeed pleased, before you ask). Although the elves outnumbered the gang with high numbers of Silver Helms and Elven bowman, the Norscan gang fought to the very end, especially Wulfrik, who was fairly lucky the whole time (The Smile of Sardiss he bought contained some kind of demon that kept away Elf phantom that tried to rot them) and so biblically pissed off at the betrayal that he injured a great pale Merwyrm while fighting his way back to the sea. Still, the battle ended up killing everyone involved except Wulfrik and Broendulf and destroyed the Seafang, Wulfriks kickass magic Viking boat, leaving only the figurehead which was, conveniently, the only part that mattered as it held all the magic in it. The two warriors escaped using just Seafang's figurehead, strapped to the front of an Elven galley.

While trespassing the warp in a similar fashion related to 40k, Broendulf confessed to Wulfrik about Viglundr's plotting against him as well as his part of the plan. Hilariously, the reason for Broendulf's betrayal is so he could have Hjordis for himself since Sveinbjorn himself claimed to him that he has [[FATAL|erectile dysfunction]] and is not interested in the princess the slightest. The statement was later rebuked by Wulfrik by him calling him twice the fool for believing them and said that [[derp|most of the tribesman were actually Sveinbjorn's bastard sons, as well as those of the nearby tribe]]. Whatever the misunderstanding, Broendulf was unable to turn on Wulfrik who had saved his life so many times during the battle. Despite his part in the treachery, Wulfrik partnered up with Broendulf, with Broendulf vowing to remain by Wulfrik's side until their enemies had been dealt with.

===Vengeance===
The two later found themselves in Reikland, near the Empire city of Wisborg. After killing some weak soulthing riverwarden and soldiers, Wulfrik came to a conclusion that Zarnath is but a Southling wizard since it was him that willed the ship to fly to where Zarnath lives, and yet the ships carries them to a Southling city. Planning to exact his vengeance on this traitorous Southling dog, Wulfrik traveled back to Norsca and his clan to muster himself up a massive army. To do that, he went for the higher-ups (also known as Viglundr and Sveinbjorn). Broendulf had to stay at the Southling city to watch for Zarnath's movement.

As he slaughtered his way into the tower where Sveinbjorn's quarter located, Wulfrik in all his anger caught Sveinbjorn and Hjordis naked in the bed. Apparently, after done tricked Wulfrik and his gang, Zarnath told everyone in the tribe about Wulfrik's death (or he thought) then said he is going back to his homeland far north (or scramble back to the further south where he and the weak Southling lives). Wulfrik angrily bitch slapped the ever loving shit out Sveinbjorn for trying to have someone kill him rather the trying to do it himself, before continuing to bitchslap him Deadpool style (HE LOVES ME. HE LOVES ME NOT.). He also scolded Hjordis for being a cheating slut for immediately sleep with another man shortly after his demise. The memory of Zarnath's treason and Sigvatr's death makes him all the more angry as he pounded Sveinbjorn even harder. The beating stops when Viglundr showed up. Not wanting the Aesling to attack due to the death of their puppet lord, Viglundr beseeches Wulfrik to spare Sveinbjorn’s cowardly ass, offering him the support he required to muster enough troops to siege the city (even offer Hjordis to him, except she is but "damaged good" to Wulfrik now), but only if Wulfrik abandoned any lord status in the clan and vowed never to try at claiming the crown again. Wulfrik did just that, abandoning his desire for power and embracing his new role as the Gods Executioner. He then repaired the Seafang with wood from an ancient and dangerous troll tree monster (most likely a chaotic brother to the [[Athel Loren|oak of ages]]) living in the Norscan tundra and prepared his troops to attack the Empire city.

It turns out Zarnath was but an imperial named Ludwig Stossel of the Celestial Order. The real reason why Zarnath tried to kill Wulfrik was because he had foresaw his death at Wulfrik’s hands from his crystal orb. He tried to prevent it by killing Wulfrik early on but failed, and he can't killed him directly because he knew Wulfrik's curse would transfer to him. Perhaps if Zarnath hadn't given the man who he had foreseen to kill him a reason to want him dead, he would have lived longer, oh well.

Either way, Ludwig was doomed from the start anyway since it was Tzeentch who had request Wulfrik in a dream to retrieve the "last breathe" of a town. That last breathe actually belongs to the wizard, except Wulfrik didn't knew back then, nor did Tzeentch revealed the bounty's name (the god of change sure likes complicate riddles) and it was way before Wulfrik had met Zarnath.

In the siege of Wisborg, Wulfrik defeated a powerful warrior priest ([[troll|whom Wulfrik insulted by comparing the twin-tailed comet symbol to that of Slaanesh, mocking he has seen similar hammer from his father which he assume he got from the priest's father, and that his hammer is but kitchen tool used to tenderize pork]]), the baron of Wisborg (whom Wulfrik make him fall from his horse and stabbed him), the baron's wife (whom was used as part of insult for Wulfrik to force the baron's army out of the gate, claiming he [[troll|only came to see his "wife and children"]]), and then ordered the entire city stripped of its valuables... Norscan style (translation:they looted and pillaged the FUCK out of it and maybe raised a few idols of their dark gods and all).

Broendulf was later found in a torture cage with his two eyes dug out during torture (he was caught because of a tarvan brawl where he injured no less than 7 people, 2 Morr priests and 5 healers, while posing as a Middenlander). Despite the pact he had made with Broendulf, Wulfrik thought of it as hollow mockery like the dreams his gods shown to him, something that is not worth winning. Despite Broendulf's constant demands to die fighting in his own chaotic blindness, Wulfrik did not gave him an honorable battle, but a stab in the brain while mocking him as a Southling in front of his helmsman friend like they've never met before.

Zarnath, or Ludwig by this point was hiding in the last safe place in the town: the castle's tower where his laboratory reside. He was in fact having guilt trip. He regretted the death of many innocents that died in the town and the Elves that were killed on Clothique (but not the Chaos Dwarf or the Norscans because chaos is bad, but he has no right to judge since he is even '''WORSE'''). In an last act to redeem himself, he decided kill Wulfrik with every means necessary. He resort to dark magic where it gives him enough energy to power a statue, an automaton he made based on the designs of the Tomb King's Ushabti. Now that he had tainted his soul with dark magic, even if he were to survive, he would either be hunted down by witch hunters or vigilant agents from his own order (the dark gods gets to have his soul all the same). Ludwig is. In. Every. Possible. Way. '''FUCKED'''.

In the final confrontation with the wizard, Wulfrik fought his Ushabti on a spiral stairway leading to his lab. Ushabti's material body shows strong resistance to Wulfrik's blade as well as its gigantic blades that are capable of cutting down many Norsii warriors like butters. The tide turned when he notice a [[Tzeentch|black bird cawing at a flask on the floor]]. The flask's leaking floor melting content and it's smell is nostalgic enough for Norscans like Wulfrik to realized it is troll vomit that he threw the damn thing at the Ushabti, melting its inner component and thus shutting it down.

For Ludwig's treason, he is subjugated to one of the most torturous deaths imaginable... the Blood Eagle, a popular [[Khorne|Khornate]] sacrifice ritual ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle as well as a reference to the alleged viking sacrificial ritual - but let's pretend it's real]) done only by the Norsii to their most hated enemies. [[grimdark|The performer must cut open and dig out their victim's lungs while they are still alive, then place both lungs over their shoulders to give the appearance of blood soaked wings, hence the name “blood raven”]]. With Ludwig letting go of his last dying breathe, the bounty was fulfilled. [[Just as Planned|Tzeentch is pleased]].

With the death of Ludwig "Zarnath" Stossel and Broendulf, Sveinbjorn was next. Sveinbjorn, being a treachery scum like his father had already schemed a betrayal of Seafang takeover by smuggled more than dozen of his man onto the ship and bribed the crewman to hoard all the loot onto the Seafang, thought he could escape with all the loot. Wulfrik of course saw through the snake's scheme and out bribed Sveinbjorn. He promised his crewman with every bit of Sveinbjorn's possessions, coin, beer, his hold and his thrall if they've captured him, whereas Sveinbjorn only promised a quarter of the loot from the raid.

Wulfrik then proceed to humiliate Sveinbjorn by striping him naked, having his army's long ship flying Sveinbjorn's flag, for Wulfrik had plans to damning Sveinbjorn's honor to all eternity. To do that, he first released the warrior priest that was defeated and captured from earlier. The priest is mounted on Sveinbjorn's steed to deliver Wulfrik's message to the Emperor, which the priest agreed due to vengeful intent to see the Norscans' destruction, because the Emperor would respond by sending a fleet after them. Just before Seafang used its warp teleportation, sending Wulfrik and his allies fleet back home, Wulfrik cut the chain, stranding his allies at Southling's land as a target of the Southling's fleet sent by their Emperor. Since the Seafang flew Sveinbjorn's banner at the time, both the Southlings and the Norscan allies would blame Sveinbjorn. Any Norscans who made it back would tell everyone that Sveinbjorn had betrayed them to the Southlings, with sagas branding him a worse traitor than Dletch Ogrefeeder! (Note: Dletch is known for allowing an Ogre tribe called the Blackgut into his chaos host and paying them by letting each ogre eat one of his soldiers everyday). Sveinbjorn of course was horrified by what wascoming to him and begged Wulfrik for mercy. Too late bitch!

Wulfrik then shoved a pipe in Sveinbjorn's mouth and through it a venomous snake into his belly, promised him that as the cherry on the sundae of his humiliation Sveinbjorn's body will be sent back to his father's hall with the name [[troll|"Sveinbjorn Snakebelly"]].

After that, Wulfrik returned to Viglundr with news of his son's passing and misbehaving. With Aesling's chief dead and the hope of peace destroyed plus the betrayed Norscans from the raid being after him, Viglundr could only sit in his throne and weep softly as Wulfrik turned and left the hall of the Sarls, knowing as he did that, though Wulfrik never raised his sword, he had killed the entire tribe.

===The Eternal Executioner of the Dark Gods===
In the end, Wulfrik realized that his curse was more of a blessing then he gave it credit for, a true gift from the gods. Without the power of the Seafang, he could not have appeased the gods by collecting the skulls and hearts of their enemies. Without his fame as the Worldwalker, he could not have gained the loyalty of his men, and Without the lies of Zarnath, Viglundr, and Sveinbjorn, the pieces would never have come together. The Gods had ultimately helped him exact vengeance and gain glory, if in a really dickish and convoluted way.

Once he was alone on the ship, Wulfrik brought a wrapped silk sheet out of his cabin to make a sacrifice to the Chaos Gods; Hjordis, as Wulfrik had killed Hjordis, cut her up and wrapped what was left of her in the sheet.

First, her pale face skin for Khorne, a face he would kissed.

Second, her heart for Slaanesh, which he would've cherished.

Third, her belly for Nurgle, which would've held his sons and daughters when pregnant.

Then finally her golden hair to Tzeentch, the last hope of his love.

With his faith restored, his old tribe gone, his enemies slain, his forces replenished and his unfaithful lover screaming in the hands of the gods, Wulfrik set out on his quest once more, embracing his destiny as the Wanderer.

==The End times==
According to Josh Reynolds, Wulfrik was first seen with his flying ship in Ind. The gods probably told him to offer the skulls of the thousand gods, fitting for an executioner like him. Other champions like Galrauch, Arbaal and Dechala were there as well.

After that, his super convenient ship carried him back to the siege of Middenland where Archaon's army resided. He got bored waiting for Valten so he decided to duel Valnir to pass the time (What a great guy). When Valten got there, Wulfrik was still dueling and Sigvald was bitching at Valten on how he deserved to fight the real Sigmar (what a prick). As soon as Sigvald finished and left, Wulfrik just happened to finish off Valnir, and went straight for Valten. It is said that Wulfrik put up the strongest fight out of anyone against Valten (aside from Archaon) but he still got a decent helping of sacred warhammer straight to the face. Wulfrik, with his dying breath said to Valten "gg" before his soul was torn from his body to be tortured by the demons of the warp forever for failing in his impossibly difficult task. The dark gods might resurrect him in the Age of Sigmar, but one can only guess, and hope that one day, the wanderer will wander his way back.
==On the tabletop==
Wulfric is an incredibly powerful unit in the tabletop. He has 8 weapon skill, 5 strength, 4 toughness, and 2 wounds. This is nothing too incredible (besides his overwhelming strength) and since he is a bit flimsy he could potentially get taken out by a stray arrow or two. However, the thing that really makes him terrifying is his Gift of Tongues special ability. This ability allows him to challenge any unit in the opponent's army to battle, and guess what? Your opponent can't say no. See a flimsy general? Dead. Irritating caster? Dead. Keystone model, like a Packmaster? Dead. [[THIN YOUR PAINTS|Paint job so horrible]] you can't help but [[rage]] at it? Ziggity Zed, they're FUCKING DEAD.

==Total War: WARHAMMER==
He was a DLC lord, serving as the faction leader of Norsca (later changed into World Walkers in the Potion of Speed update) in an original Chaos sub-faction as the last DLC for the 1st game. The difference between the tabletop is that he is now able to ride a mammoth and summon his magic boat in battle to wreck Empire fools in a straight line (on the tabletop, Seafang is a special rule that allow Wulfrik and his marauders to ambush their enemies using their magic ship). While his Gift of Tongues ability is missing due to the absence of duel challenge system, he does have another ability from the tabletop called the "Hunter of Champions", which is an extremely powerful debuff that decreases the armor, melee defense and the speed of an opponent, as if Wulfrik is hexing them like a wizard instead of challenging them since it also benefits other units into attacking said weakened character.

==gallery==
<gallery>
File:Wulfrik the wanderer.png|NEED MORE SKULL FOR THE DARK GODS!!!!!ESPECIALLY KHORNE!!!! (And he's not even a Khornate)
File:Wulfrik ttw.jpg|prepare your anus old world mortals!
File:Wulfrik_Gif.jpg.gif|BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION!!!
</gallery>

{{Chaos-Champions}}

Wulfrik the Wanderer

2021-01-04T11:14:15Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:A411:F40D:90A5:3D4: /* Vengeance */

[[File:Download_(1).jpg|500px|right|thumb|''We fought monsters, and we become them...'']]
{{Topquote|Face me if you dare, stunted whelp, or do you lack even an Elven maid's courage? I thought the Sons of Grungni were great warriors, but perhaps you are no true Dwarf. Indeed, maybe you are instead some breed of bearded goblin, though in truth, I have seen a finer beard on a Troll's back-side.|Wulfrik, roasting some stuntie welp so hard it literally set their beard on fire.}}
{{Topquote|You favour birds, Zarnath? Since you like birds so much, traitor, I will make you one.|Wulfrik, about to rape Zarnath with the torture death of Blood Raven}}
{{Topquote|We seek the monsters that you fear the most. We chase the nightmares that haunt your cowardly dreams. The deadlier the prey, the more we exult in the hunt! The more we honour our Gods! This harsh land breeds the savage; and we revel in it. The Old World calls, ripe for our taking. We fought monsters, and we became them|Wulfrik, during the trailer for the Norsca faction of [[Total War: WARHAMMER]]}}

Wulfrik the Wanderer, also known as the Eternal Challenger, the Inescapable One and the World Walker, is the ultimate sea-faring warrior as well as the Chaos Gods' most favorite and deadly executioner.
He was cursed some time ago to forever kill scary beasts or champions of distant lands by the chaos gods for being too damn yappy after a long night of drinking with the lads. The curse stated that, should he fail or fall in battle, his soul would be damned forever to be viciously ravaged by Slaaneshi daemons, unable to enter the halls of Khorne.

In addition to being a warrior of immense skill, he is also a roast-master, able to burn the unholy ''''FUCK'''' out of anyone in the Warhammer world. His curse grants him the ability to speak and understood Khazalid, Eltharin, Queekish, Reikspiel, and even forgotten language like ancient Nehekharan, or untranslatable brute language gowl used by beasts like Yeti, with the fluency of a born native, making it much easier for him to roast their sorry asses charcoal black, forces his opponents in a state of blind rage that they disregarded all of their advantageous tools of war (their comrades, range/black powder weaponry, magic, etc...) and just charge into Wulfrik while leaving themselves open to any attacks.

He is not to be confused with a similar character who also has the same red hair, a massive sword and the ability to pull a long 1 minute insult from [[Samurai Jack]].

It is a shame that he did not duel [[Gotrek & Felix|Gotrek]] or feature in any of their novels, despite the fact that both kill monsters and champions on weekly basis.

It is also a shame that he never fought [[Nakai the Wanderer]] on any occasion since both shared the same nickname.

==The [[Gotrek & Felix|Gotrek]] of the Dark Gods==
Wulfrik was born into the Norscan clan of Sarl, bearing the mark of chaos upon his birth. He would grow to become a skilled, if somewhat arrogant warrior. After a particularly glorious victory from a battle known as the "Battle of Thousand Skulls" (the prizes of which were the hand of a beautiful princess and the crown of chieftain), Wulfrik attended a celebration held in honor of his clan's victory over their enemies, known as the Aeslings. Wulfrik, after having chugged eight barrels of mead and probably a few shots of Jägermeister, declared loud and for all to hear that he and he alone could best every warrior in the world, because he was the greatest and even the gods (big fucking mistake bruh) couldn’t train a better warrior. [[Nurgle]] ran off to cry, [[Slaanesh]] whacked off (as usual) and [[Khorne]] flew into a rage (as usual). [[Tzeentch]], on the other hand... hatched a plan... (as usual).

Insulted beyond compare, the chaos gods sent an emissary to Wulfrik as he lay sleeping. The daemon emissary came to Wulfrik's dream and carried him into the warp before proceeding to give him a tour of the world from the “[[warp|heavens]]” above. They visited the realms of the elves, and the dark domains of the [[skaven]]. They went to the woodland realms of the wood elves, the strongholds of the dwarves, the quite dead halls of Nagashizzar and the gleaming cities of the empire and everywhere they went would drown in a great tide of blood. The daemon then informed Wulfrik that the gods (in their infinite dickishness) had decided to impose upon his arrogant ass a divine mission, the terms of which state that he is to wander the world and claim the skulls of dreadful monsters and powerful champions. If he succeeds, he will be counted as an honored servant of the gods. If he fails (read, dies) well... [[Slaanesh]] gets to decide what happens then.

Wulfrik woke up the next morning with a crippling hangover and more importantly, “the gift of tongues.” This "gift" manifested itself as a mutation that twisted his tongue into the shape of a bird's and made it so that he could speak foreign languages as if he’d been born to each as well as understood foreign tongue when he listen by focusing his mind. A side effect is that he may shout random insults at people at completely inopportune times (no doubt Tzeentch was pissing himself after he came up with that one). Another “gift” was that he could now hear the gods in his head. From their whisper, they implore Wulfrik to go out and defeat a Tomb King named Khareops and offer up his rotten entrails to Nurgle. The voices began driving Wulfrik mad and so, between searching for a cure to his “gifts” and being a badass, he started searching for some way to get to Khemri.

Understood that the hot climate in the Southlands was no joke (most Norscans just don’t like it because it’s hot... and because everyone’s favorite desert daddy fucking pwned them the last time they landed, [[Settra the Imperishable #Return|see Settra's crown thief.]]) He learned from his trusted mentor Sigvtar that there is a certain powerful magical ship that can transport anyone anywhere in an instant (or close enough) and it was held and crafted by a Skaeling witch Baga Yar in a mighty stronghold. Wulfrik uses pretty much all of his life savings buying an army to lay siege to this fucking thing, and after he finally manages to get inside, he hacks the witch to pieces out of sheer spite. The witch doesn’t die (TIS BUT A FLESH WOUND) so he drops her old ass in a pot to boil to death while he goes down to claim his new ride. With ship, sword, bird tongue shaped tongue and a bloodthirsty crew, Wulfrik sets out in his journey of slaughtering anything with red blood, a pulse or is [[undead|able to move]]. Seriously, Giants, abominations, undead beasts, famous champions and noble heroes. Fucking *no one* is safe.

===Treachery===
Despite the fame coming from his various deeds completed for the gods, Wulfrik find no enjoyment, for he only wish to rule his clan and wed the chieftain's daughter Hjordis, a well known beautiful blondie with an arse everyone wants to bang. Logically, his wishes should've been granted for slaying Torgald, but the chieftain Viglundr, a devout follower and chosen of Tzeentch (he has the mark of Tzeentch on his heart) rejects it due to the sudden curse Wulfrik received (or so whatever bullshit a Tzeentch follower could spew). Viglundr believes a man who is cursed by the gods to hunt their preys for eternity is too busy to rule and adore his daughter that he would rather have Sveinbjorn, his son-in-law and an Aesling prince to received that privilege, also another way to forge a new alliance with the Aeslings (the same tribe Wulfrik pwned the night he received his “gifts”) as part of his scheme.

At some point during his adventure, Wulfrik meets Zarnath of Tokmars, a Kurgan shaman. He claimed that he knew a way to remove the gods "gifts", but he would only do so if noble and oh so heroic Wulfrik could do a quick RPG fetch quest and get a certain artefact called the "Smile of Sardiss" from the infamous [[Chaos Dwarves]] for him. Wulfrik did just that, flew his ship to the dark land (a barren wasteland with little water source and is impossible to travel through sea and river mind you) with his companion, risking their lives being shot at by a fuck tons of chaos stunties armed with Blundbuss (shotgun), hacked through uncountable amount of hobo goblins sentinels, killed a bull lord (after it let its guards down while being enraged by Wulftik's insults) and battling the chaos stunties' foul machinery (it was a chaos dwarf lord armed with power armor and flamethrower, but Wulfrik managed to burn him alive with his own weapon). The fight was intense that Zarnath had to help with his magic, but is no different than surviving daily battles in Norsca and Wulfrik triumph like the fucking beast he is. He gets the artifact at the cost of his dear friend Sigvatr, one of the few people he actually cared about in this war torn world, yet he died to the blades of two traitor comrades beside him. The fight also killed Zarnath except he's shown up again back on the ship because magic.

In the mean time however, Viglundr's scheme with the Aesling alliance isn't going well since Wulfrik is the one that killed the Aesling king and the relationship between the clans is a bit tattered even with their new chieftain, Sveinbjorn, and it will remain that way so long as Wulfrik lives. Viglundr decides then that the red haired badass must take a snowy dirt nap if his dreams of power and prestige are to have any chance of coming true.

As soon as Wulfrik and Co. returned, Wulfrik was welcomed with the news of his lovely princess's marriage to prince Sveinbjorn. The prospect of being cucked by Sveinbjorn angered Wulfrik to no end and led him to challenging Sveinbjorn to a duel. Going along with the flow, Sveinbjorn was ordered by his father to put Wulfrik’s little victory streak to an end. They would settle their score in the Wolf Forest, an private arena owned by Wulfrik (often he used that place for many things: recruitment, celebrations and duels) where they would do glorious battle in the name of the gods. However, to Wulfrik's surprise, the combatant wasn't Sveinbjorn, but rather a huge (about as tall as a troll), bloated chaos champion that Sveinbjorn’s daddy had hired. Note that the champion was a famous Aeslings hero known throughout the Norsca by the name Fraener, whom the gods has abandoned and its now but a Forsaken. Thanks to his own huge [[Plot Armor|balls of titanium]], Wulfrik beat the champion to sludge in a battle (even with the champion's [[Chaos Spawn|transformation]] midway into the battle, Wulfrik fought savagely and pounded the abomination down below the spike-filled arena pit), thus earning the respect of several hundred warriors and increasing the size of his horde significantly.

Having had their plan fail like a typical [[Abbadon|Saturday morning]] [[Nagash|Cartoon Villian]], Viglundr decided to have Sveinbjorn bribe one of Wulfrik's men, Broendulf, into betraying him. As for the second part of Zarnath's quest, he told Wulfrik and his gang to go to Ulthuan (also known as Alfheim in Norscan, nice Norse myth reference there Gee-dubs) in order to obtain the cure for Wulfrik's curse gift by having the magic of that place absorbed into the artefact he got before. Turns out, Zarnath is a treacherous asshole who had been plotting Wulfrik's demise from the beginning, meaning the quest to obtain chaos dwarves' artefact was naught but an excuse to get Wulfrik killed. After the gang landed on Cothique, climbed its cliff shore and traveled down its prairie. There, the sorcerer fooled Wulfrik and his merry band of merry savages into killing a group of elven maidens praying at a shrine, telling them that they were vile witches preparing to unleash havoc on the Norscans with foul elven magic. Turns out, they were the wives of elven nobles, praying for fertility and healthy babies if they were already pregnant (oh boy Khorne's gonna be pissed, slaughter of the weak? Big no no. Tiny skulls do make good necklaces tho, but Khaine? He should be the one killing these elf feotuses!)

Zarnath then revealed his true nature, presumably twirling a cartoonish mustache, before disappearing into a cloud of smoke (because it was but his magic hologram which he controlled from Norsca), alerting nearly every warrior on the bloody continent of Ulthuan while doing it. The Elves and Wulfrik's gang then had a massive battle that caused Khorne to violently ejaculate molten brass all over the place (Slaanesh was indeed pleased, before you ask). Although the elves outnumbered the gang with high numbers of Silver Helms and Elven bowman, the Norscan gang fought to the very end, especially Wulfrik, who was fairly lucky the whole time (The Smile of Sardiss he bought contained some kind of demon that kept away Elf phantom that tried to rot them) and so biblically pissed off at the betrayal that he injured a great pale Merwyrm while fighting his way back to the sea. Still, the battle ended up killing everyone involved except Wulfrik and Broendulf and destroyed the Seafang, Wulfriks kickass magic Viking boat, leaving only the figurehead which was, conveniently, the only part that mattered as it held all the magic in it. The two warriors escaped using just Seafang's figurehead, strapped to the front of an Elven galley.

While trespassing the warp in a similar fashion related to 40k, Broendulf confessed to Wulfrik about Viglundr's plotting against him as well as his part of the plan. Hilariously, the reason for Broendulf's betrayal is so he could have Hjordis for himself since Sveinbjorn himself claimed to him that he has [[FATAL|erectile dysfunction]] and is not interested in the princess the slightest. The statement was later rebuked by Wulfrik by him calling him twice the fool for believing them and said that [[derp|most of the tribesman were actually Sveinbjorn's bastard sons, as well as those of the nearby tribe]]. Whatever the misunderstanding, Broendulf was unable to turn on Wulfrik who had saved his life so many times during the battle. Despite his part in the treachery, Wulfrik partnered up with Broendulf, with Broendulf vowing to remain by Wulfrik's side until their enemies had been dealt with.

===Vengeance===
The two later found themselves in Reikland, near the Empire city of Wisborg. After killing some weak soulthing riverwarden and soldiers, Wulfrik came to a conclusion that Zarnath is but a Southling wizard since it was him that willed the ship to fly to where Zarnath lives, and yet the ships carries them to a Southling city. Planning to exact his vengeance on this traitorous Southling dog, Wulfrik traveled back to Norsca and his clan to muster himself up a massive army. To do that, he went for the higher-ups (also known as Viglundr and Sveinbjorn). Broendulf had to stay at the Southling city to watch for Zarnath's movement.

As he slaughtered his way into the tower where Sveinbjorn's quarter located, Wulfrik in all his anger caught Sveinbjorn and Hjordis naked in the bed. Apparently, after done tricked Wulfrik and his gang, Zarnath told everyone in the tribe about Wulfrik's death (or he thought) then said he is going back to his homeland far north (or scramble back to the further south where he and the weak Southling lives). Wulfrik angrily bitch slapped the ever loving shit out Sveinbjorn for trying to have someone kill him rather the trying to do it himself, before continuing to bitchslap him Deadpool style (HE LOVES ME. HE LOVES ME NOT.). He also scolded Hjordis for being a cheating slut for immediately sleep with another man shortly after his demise. The memory of Zarnath's treason and Sigvatr's death makes him all the more angry as he pounded Sveinbjorn even harder. The beating stops when Viglundr showed up. Not wanting the Aesling to attack due to the death of their puppet lord, Viglundr beseeches Wulfrik to spare Sveinbjorn’s cowardly ass, offering him the support he required to muster enough troops to siege the city (even offer Hjordis to him, except she is but "damaged good" to Wulfrik now), but only if Wulfrik abandoned any lord status in the clan and vowed never to try at claiming the crown again. Wulfrik did just that, abandoning his desire for power and embracing his new role as the Gods Executioner. He then repaired the Seafang with wood from an ancient and dangerous troll tree monster (most likely a chaotic brother to the [[Athel Loren|oak of ages]]) living in the Norscan tundra and prepared his troops to attack the Empire city.

It turns out Zarnath was but an imperial named Ludwig Stossel of the Celestial Order. The real reason why Zarnath tried to kill Wulfrik was because he had foresaw his death at Wulfrik’s hands from his crystal orb. He tried to prevent it by killing Wulfrik early on but failed, and he can't killed him directly because he knew Wulfrik's curse would transfer to him. Perhaps if Zarnath hadn't given the man who he had foreseen to kill him a reason to want him dead, he would have lived longer, oh well.

Either way, Ludwig was doomed from the start anyway since it was Tzeentch who had request Wulfrik in a dream to retrieve the "last breathe" of a town. That last breathe actually belongs to the wizard, except Wulfrik didn't knew back then, nor did Tzeentch revealed the bounty's name (the god of change sure likes complicate riddles) and it was way before Wulfrik had met Zarnath.

In the siege of Wisborg, Wulfrik defeated a powerful warrior priest ([[troll|whom Wulfrik insulted by comparing the twin-tailed comet symbol to that of Slaanesh, mocking he has seen similar hammer from his father which he assume he got from the priest's father, and that his hammer is but kitchen tool used to tenderize pork]]), the baron of Wisborg (whom Wulfrik make him fall from his horse and stabbed him), the baron's wife (whom was used as part of insult for Wulfrik to force the baron's army out of the gate, claiming he [[troll|only came to see his "wife and children"]]), and then ordered the entire city stripped of its valuables... Norscan style (translation:they looted and pillaged the FUCK out of it and maybe raised a few idols of their dark gods and all).

Broendulf was later found in a torture cage with his two eyes dug out during torture (he was caught because of a tarvan brawl where he injured no less than 7 people, 2 Morr priests and 5 healers, while posing as a Middenlander). Despite the pact he had made with Broendulf, Wulfrik thought of it as hollow mockery like the dreams his gods shown to him, something that is not worth winning. Despite Broendulf's constant demands to die fighting in his own chaotic blindness, Wulfrik did not gave him an honorable battle, but a stab in the brain while mocking him as a Southling in front of his helmsman friend like they've never met before.

Zarnath, or Ludwig by this point was hiding in the last safe place in the town: the castle's tower where his laboratory reside. He was in fact having guilt trip. He regretted the death of many innocents that died in the town and the Elves that were killed on Clothique (but not the Chaos Dwarf or the Norscans because chaos is bad, but he has no right to judge since he is even '''WORSE'''). In an last act to redeem himself, he decided kill Wulfrik with every means necessary. He resort to dark magic where it gives him enough energy to power a statue, an automaton he made based on the designs of the Tomb King's Ushabti. Now that he had tainted his soul with dark magic, even if he were to survive, he would either be hunted down by witch hunters or vigilant agents from his own order (the dark gods gets to have his soul all the same). Ludwig is. In. Every. Possible. Way. '''FUCKED'''.

In the final confrontation with the wizard, Wulfrik fought his Ushabti on a spiral stairway leading to his lab. Ushabti's material body shows strong resistance to Wulfrik's blade as well as its gigantic blades that are capable of cutting down many Norsii warriors like butters. The tide turned when he notice a [[Tzeentch|black bird cawing at a flask on the floor]]. The flask's leaking floor melting content and it's smell is nostalgic enough for Norscans like Wulfrik to realized it is troll vomit that he threw the damn thing at the Ushabti, melting its inner component and thus shutting it down.

For Ludwig's treason, he is subjugated to one of the most torturous deaths imaginable... the Blood Eagle, a popular [[Khorne|Khornate]] sacrifice ritual ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle as well as a reference to the alleged viking sacrificial ritual - but let's pretend it's real]) done only by the Norsii to their most hated enemies. [[grimdark|The performer must cut open and dig out their victim's lungs while they are still alive, then place both lungs over their shoulders to give the appearance of blood soaked wings, hence the name “blood raven”]]. With Ludwig letting go of his last dying breathe, the bounty was fulfilled. [[Just as Planned|Tzeentch is pleased]].

With the death of Ludwig "Zarnath" Stossel and Broendulf, Sveinbjorn was next. Sveinbjorn, being a treachery scum like his father had already schemed a betrayal of Seafang takeover by smuggled more than dozen of his man onto the ship and bribed the crewman to hoard all the loot onto the Seafang, thought he could escape with all the loot. Wulfrik of course saw through the snake's scheme and out bribed Sveinbjorn. He promised his crewman with every bit of Sveinbjorn's possessions, coin, beer, his hold and his thrall if they've captured him, whereas Sveinbjorn only promised a quarter of the loot from the raid.

Wulfrik then proceed to humiliate Sveinbjorn by striping him naked, having his army's long ship flying Sveinbjorn's flag, for Wulfrik had plans to damning Sveinbjorn's honor to all eternity. To do that, he first released the warrior priest that was defeated and captured from earlier. The priest is mounted on Sveinbjorn's steed to deliver Wulfrik's message to the Emperor, which the priest agreed due to vengeful intent to see the Norscans' destruction, because the Emperor would respond by sending a fleet after them. Just before Seafang used its warp teleportation, sending Wulfrik and his allies fleet back home, Wulfrik cut the chain, stranding his allies at Southling's land as a target of the Southling's fleet sent by their Emperor. Since the Seafang flew Sveinbjorn's banner at the time, both the Southlings and the Norscan allies would blame Sveinbjorn. Any Norscans who made it back would tell everyone that Sveinbjorn had betrayed them to the Southlings, with sagas branding him a worse traitor than Dletch Ogrefeeder! (Note: Dletch is known for allowing an Ogre tribe called the Blackgut into his chaos host and paying them by letting each ogre eat one of his soldiers everyday). Sveinbjorn of course was horrified by what wascoming to him and begged Wulfrik for mercy. Too late bitch!

Wulfrik then shoved a pipe in Sveinbjorn's mouth and through it a venomous snake into his belly, promised him that as the cherry on the sundae of his humiliation Sveinbjorn's body will be sent back to his father's hall with the name [[troll|"Sveinbjorn Snakebelly"]].

After that, Wulfrik returned to Viglundr with news of his son's passing and misbehaving. With Aesling's chief dead and the hope of peace destroyed plus the betrayed Norscans from the raid being after him, Viglundr could only sit in his throne and weep softly as Wulfrik turned and left the hall of the Sarls, knowing as he did that, though Wulfrik never raised his sword, he had killed the entire tribe.

===The Eternal Executioner of the Dark Gods===
In the end, Wulfrik realized that his curse was more of a blessing then he gave it credit for, a true gift from the gods. Without the power of the Seafang, he could not have appeased the gods by collecting the skulls and hearts of their enemies. Without his fame as the Worldwalker, he could not have gained the loyalty of his men, and Without the lies of Zarnath, Viglundr, and Sveinbjorn, the pieces would never have come together. The Gods had ultimately helped him exact vengeance and gain glory, if in a really dickish and convoluted way.

Wulfrik then offered what's remained of Hjordis, who he had killed and put into a bag.

First, her pale face skin for Khorne, a face he would kissed.

Second, her heart for Slaanesh, which he would've cherished.

Third, her belly for Nurgle, which would've held his sons and daughters when pregnant.

Then finally her golden hair to Tzeentch, the last hope of his love.

With his faith restored, his old tribe gone, his enemies slain, his forces replenished and his unfaithful lover screaming in the hands of the gods, Wulfrik set out on his quest once more, embracing his destiny as the Wanderer.

==The End times==
According to Josh Reynolds, Wulfrik was first seen with his flying ship in Ind. The gods probably told him to offer the skulls of the thousand gods, fitting for an executioner like him. Other champions like Galrauch, Arbaal and Dechala were there as well.

After that, his super convenient ship carried him back to the siege of Middenland where Archaon's army resided. He got bored waiting for Valten so he decided to duel Valnir to pass the time (What a great guy). When Valten got there, Wulfrik was still dueling and Sigvald was bitching at Valten on how he deserved to fight the real Sigmar (what a prick). As soon as Sigvald finished and left, Wulfrik just happened to finish off Valnir, and went straight for Valten. It is said that Wulfrik put up the strongest fight out of anyone against Valten (aside from Archaon) but he still got a decent helping of sacred warhammer straight to the face. Wulfrik, with his dying breath said to Valten "gg" before his soul was torn from his body to be tortured by the demons of the warp forever for failing in his impossibly difficult task. The dark gods might resurrect him in the Age of Sigmar, but one can only guess, and hope that one day, the wanderer will wander his way back.
==On the tabletop==
Wulfric is an incredibly powerful unit in the tabletop. He has 8 weapon skill, 5 strength, 4 toughness, and 2 wounds. This is nothing too incredible (besides his overwhelming strength) and since he is a bit flimsy he could potentially get taken out by a stray arrow or two. However, the thing that really makes him terrifying is his Gift of Tongues special ability. This ability allows him to challenge any unit in the opponent's army to battle, and guess what? Your opponent can't say no. See a flimsy general? Dead. Irritating caster? Dead. Keystone model, like a Packmaster? Dead. [[THIN YOUR PAINTS|Paint job so horrible]] you can't help but [[rage]] at it? Ziggity Zed, they're FUCKING DEAD.

==Total War: WARHAMMER==
He was a DLC lord, serving as the faction leader of Norsca (later changed into World Walkers in the Potion of Speed update) in an original Chaos sub-faction as the last DLC for the 1st game. The difference between the tabletop is that he is now able to ride a mammoth and summon his magic boat in battle to wreck Empire fools in a straight line (on the tabletop, Seafang is a special rule that allow Wulfrik and his marauders to ambush their enemies using their magic ship). While his Gift of Tongues ability is missing due to the absence of duel challenge system, he does have another ability from the tabletop called the "Hunter of Champions", which is an extremely powerful debuff that decreases the armor, melee defense and the speed of an opponent, as if Wulfrik is hexing them like a wizard instead of challenging them since it also benefits other units into attacking said weakened character.

==gallery==
<gallery>
File:Wulfrik the wanderer.png|NEED MORE SKULL FOR THE DARK GODS!!!!!ESPECIALLY KHORNE!!!! (And he's not even a Khornate)
File:Wulfrik ttw.jpg|prepare your anus old world mortals!
File:Wulfrik_Gif.jpg.gif|BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION!!!
</gallery>

{{Chaos-Champions}}

Archaon

2021-01-04T10:51:00Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:A411:F40D:90A5:3D4: /* Age of Sigmar */

[[Image:Archaon Book.jpg|570px|thumb|right|A wallpaper version of his solo [[Black Library]] novel cover art.]]
<div style="font-size:1.10em;font-weight:bold;font-style: FFF Tusj ;font-family:serif;margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em"><span style='color:
#A57164;font-size:100%'> I AM THE TRUE CHOSEN OF CHAOS!<br> - Archaon teaching [[Abaddon|a certain armless failure]] on how to actually be kick ass'''</span></div>
{{Topquote|Fear me, mortals, for I am the Anointed, the Favored Son of Chaos, the Scourge of the World. The armies of the gods rally behind me, and it is by my will and by my sword that your weakling nations shall fall.|Archaon the Everchosen, Lord of the End Times}}
{{Topquote|My hatred is a thousand times more powerful than all your good intentions.|Jim Goad}}
{{Topquote|Everyone, deep in their hearts, is waiting for the end of the world to come.|Haruki Murakami}}

'''Archaon the <S>Overchosen</s> Everchosen''', formerly known as '''Diederick Kastnar''', also known concurrently as '''The Three-Eyed King''', '''Lord of the End-Times''', '''[[A Song of Ice and Fire|Kingslayer]]''', and various other titles besides is the supreme Chaos Lord of [[Warhammer Fantasy]] and its successor, [[Age of Sigmar]], as well as in [[Total War: WARHAMMER]]. He is a successor of the Kurgan High Zar Asavar Kul, who previously held the title of Everchosen. Archaon, on the other hand, managed to successfully destroy the world during the [[End Times]] and defeated Grimgor in single combat (while the latter was high off becoming the Incarnate of the Wind of Beasts, no less) and, more importantly, wrestled with Sigmar Heldenhammer himself before falling with him into a Chaos Portal to fight over the titular Warhammer for which the settings of Fantasy and 40K are named, which he just barely lost.

In other words, he shits all over the [[Abaddon|other guy]] in terms of competency and skill. Supposedly, his name is Tilean, meaning 'Warhammer Rome'. Because GW Latin fetish. Depending on how you look at him, he's either a cool, [[awesome|badass]] legend of Chaos and terrifyingly powerful, or a lameass [[Mary Sue|Gary Stu]] and the obnoxious and [[edgy]] conclusion of GW's recent Chaos fapfest.

This is, of course, his newest iteration. Archaon's been around before and was the titular Lord of the End Times during the Storm of Chaos, though both the event and his character were retconned and brought back with heavy modification for 8th Edition. See the End Times article itself for skub surrounding that.

[http://myglobalmind.com/2015/08/25/interview-with-archaon-from-norwegian-death-metal-band-1349/ Also moonlights as a guitarist for Norwegian Black Metal bands].

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1a84RoIMa1Q In the latest of a long line of cool by GW, Archaon's sword, the Slayer of Kings, HAS BEEN MADE IN REAL LIFE]. This is in celebration of the new ''Everchosen'' contest, the flashy new international version of the [[Golden Demon]], and like the Slayer Sword, one fab enough painter gets to win this.

==The Legend==
[[Grimdark|Archaon was born to a Nordland townswoman after a raiding party of bloodthirsty Norscan Chaos Marauders visited the town and the leader of said party proceeded to rape her viciously before leaving her for dead amidst the burning husk of her village.]] Of course, the village woman [[Indrick Boreale|did not die then, no,]] but was found clinging to life by her husband and children. After trying unsuccessfully to [[Grimdark|abort the pregnancy the Marauder champion had forced on her]], she died nine months later giving birth to the raider's bastard son. Rejected by the surviving family members, the midwife left the baby near the door of a Sigmarite church, where he was saved from a pack of hungry wolves by a Sigmarite priest who adopted in as a son and page for the local church, naming him Diederick.

As it happens, this fisherwoman was named Viktoria Rothschild in ''Archaon - Everchosen''. [[/pol/|Anyone interested enough in making the reach would claim this essentially makes Archaon an evil Jew bent on world domination.]]

Diederick grew up into a vigorous and devout lad, strong in the ways of Sigmar, and became a squire for the lecherous lout of a knight Sieur Kastnar. When the Sieur Kastnar ran afoul of some foes and died, Diederick, being a man of honor, took it upon himself to deliver the knight's ancestral sword to House Kastnar. The lady of the House, having been disregarded and despised by her husband, was touched by the young squire's dedication and integrity, and adopted him to her house, bequeathing the sword of Kastnar to him, along with the dead knight's horse Orberon. With her sponsorship, Diederick then entered into the prestigious Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb, becoming the greatest warrior of the Order on account of his (unbeknownst) Northern bloodlust and a paragon of the Order's knightly ideals. [[Grimdark|Which essentially means he was a Black Templar level fanatic who didn't think twice of killing children if they were born with the taint of Chaos]].

Later on his career, while questing about and slaying whole tribes of Beastmen single-handed, Diederick came across a group of the Sisters of Sigmar who were transporting a heretical tome. This tome would turn out to be Liber Celestior itself, penned by Necrodormo the Insane under the direction of Be'Lakor himself, and said to hold the prophecy of the Everchosen of Chaos, the final champion who would herald the End Times. The tome was to be transported to the Grand Cathedral of Sigmar in Altdorf, where it would be kept protected from a warband of Chaos Warriors intent on using it to find the Everchosen. This warband being the Swords of Chaos.

Of course, young Diederick had not even seen the prophecy for himself. And indeed, for so many years, had been much too fanatical and thick in the head to realize that he fit the perfect profile of a Norscan warrior, not an Imperial knight. This also did not come fully to him when his own Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb began hunting him, despite him having been the greatest exemplar of their Order's religious and military ideals. Diederick, being a <s>complete badass</s> fucking Mary Sue, made quick work of the knights and also managed to evade the Swords of Chaos, seeking refuge at the Kastnar estate only to find it having been burned to the ground. There, he conferred with the young Sister of Sigmar Giselle and the priest who had fostered him as to the reasons why the Empire had declared him a heretic and why the Swords of Chaos wanted to suck his cock. They came to the conclusion that he fit the bill as the Everchosen based on the fact that:

* A). He was obviously of Norscan descent (fucking racists...)
* B). He was a knight of the Empire, like the Everchosen was foretold to be.

That's essentially it, really. It's a pretty fucking vague prophecy. But in fantasy worlds, this is often convincing enough, and so Diederick, on the advice of his foster father, journeyed to Altdorf to gain some confirmation of his dark destiny at the Grand Cathedral of Sigmar. Of course, this was after he succeeded in hanging himself because he couldn't live with the truth. Ballsy of him, but the Chaos Gods went 'lolno' and brought him back to life to get on without; they really wanted the End Times to happen, the little shits. So, after he dragged his depressed ass to Altdorf he prayed before an altar to Sigmar to give him some sign or indication that he was not forsaken by the God-King and not damned to a fate he did not choose and did not want, and received stone silence in return... other than the obvious favor he's enjoyed from the epic ass-kickings he's been delivering as a Knight. And considering the powers of Warrior-Priests, Diederick probably already had shit tons of confirmation that he was, if anything, favored by Sigmar. This doesn't explain why ANY other Human, Elf or Dwarf God didn't appear to prevent End Times, or why Sigmar did fuck-all at the time since even a single act would've stopped the entirety of the End Times. [[Mary Sue|Archaon went batshit and managed to take down the entire knightly garrison of the Sigmarite Cathedral]] and even managed to cripple and capture the Grand Theogonist. Interrogating the Grand Theogonist by breaking his fingers individually, Diederick demanded to know how exactly the Knights of the Twin-Tailed Orb were so sure that he was the Everchosen; after all, there were countless half-Norscans running about in the Empire, and there were countless knights of the Empire who had fallen to Chaos. The Theogonist revealed that they weren't sure at all; they had been hunting everyone with his profile throughout the Empire just to make sure. The clincher was that the true Everchosen was prophesied to travel to Altdorf and ask that exact question.

So yes, if Diederick had ''not'' gone to Altdorf to find this out, he would not have fulfilled the prophecy. [[Just as Planned]]. This also means that if the Theogonist did nothing then the End Times also never would've happened, [[derp|and despite knowing this they chose to act.]]

Having finally been driven to Joker levels of genocidal insanity by this tidbit of information (and bad writing), Archaon's switch flipped from good to evil and he loudly denounced the God-King Sigmar and affirmed his allegiance to the Dark Gods of his father's race, swearing that he would bring the Empire crashing down and tear away the pageantry of Sigmar's religion to reveal the god for the craven liar and charlatan that he was. It was during this shouted oath of death and destruction that the Grand Theogonist gloatingly revealed that the entire Reikland army and pretty much the entirety of the Empire's gunpowder potential was primed on the Cathedral with the order to kill the Everchosen by any means necessary, including by destroying the Cathedral itself. Luckily for Diederick, the Swords of Chaos arrived and rescued him from the clutches of the Empire, fleeing northwards towards Norsca where the Everchosen could begin his journey. This is, of course, if you follow the later books. Originally he read the prophecy, lost his marbles, and ran off screaming in the night before deciding he'd go up north and join his new dark god daddies.

For such a popular badass among fans, you'd think his origin story wouldn't be so pathetic and stupid.

===Quest for the Six Treasures===

A'ight, bitches, y'all know the story that came after this.

Archaon traveled North, crossing into Norsca and the Chaos Wastes and began his centuries-long journey to find the Relics of Chaos - The Burning Mark of Chaos Eternal, which bestowed upon its bearer the ultimate favor all four of the Great Chaos Gods. The Armour of Morkar (shield included), the battle-scarred Chaos Plate born by the Norsii warlord and first and greatest of the Everchosen. The Slayer of Kings, the horrifyingly powerful regicidal greatsword forged by Vangel, the Second Everchosen; bound with the soul of U'zhul, the Fist of [[Khorne]]. The Crown of Domination, the ancient battle-helm borne by the first Northern warrior to bargain his soul to Chaos's Dark Lords. The Eye of Sheerian, which bestows upon its user prophetic powers (had it been the Mouth of Sheerian, it probably would have granted him a decent singing voice). And Dorghar, Steed of the Apocalypse.

Archaon got the first one by traveling to the Altar of Ultimate Darkness in Naggaroth where he single-handedly brought upon the genocide of the race of bloodthirsty, atavistic monster-men who infested the temple and who feasted upon the flesh of stray Dark Elves. In the novel and newer version, he also fought a Dark Elf army led by a dragon-riding Sorceress and was saved by Valkia when she arrived after he sacrificed a Dark Elf assassin to the Chaos Gods (strangely Valkia arrived when Archaon offered the assassin's heart even though Khorne's thing is skulls or just severed heads).

He earned the Armour of Morkar by travelling to the Norse King's cairn in the Southern Chaos Wastes and facing off against his vengeful spirit, and was nearly slaughtered by his predecessor then and there but for spitting out a 'yo mama' insult in the dead tongue of the Unberogens which managed to catch Morkar just off-guard enough due to its WTFness for Archaon to sucker-punch him and steal the armour. Actually, it turns out that Archaon said 'brinnan utva lioht', which means 'burn in the light', which if I'm being honest, sounds about as insulting as calling someone a scoundrel. In the novel, it only worked because it was Sigmar's language and the last thing Sigmar said to Morkar before concaving his head.

He claimed the Eye of Sheerian from Flamefang, the Claw of Tzeentch, a three-headed Chaos Dragon (a one-headed chaos dragon spirit that possessed and assimilated bodies to gain physical form in the novel). Archaon found it sleeping in its lair and woke it up by hitting one of its heads with his axe. There was an intense fight, which ended when Flamefang swallowed Archaon whole and flew all the way to the Southern Wastes. The armor prevented Archaon from being digested and he cut his way out of the dragon's throat from the inside, which naturally killed it. Archaon plucked the Eye of Sheerian from the belly of its corpse and hung it around his neck.

The next wasn't an item, but a being, the daemonic creature called Dorghar - also known as Ghurshy'ish'phak, Wsyorach and Yrontalie - the Steed of the Apocalypse. At the time Dorghar was being kept in the menagerie of a Slaaneshi Daemon Prince. He entered the stables by clinging to the underbelly of one of the monsters as it returned to its roost, a part man, part mammoth and part insect abomination. Once there, he broke in and tracked Dorghar by Dorghar's smell (originally) or using the Eye of Sheerian (post-retcon and in the novel) until he found the creature. He then jumped on Dorghar's back like a hellish rodeo - one where the mount burst into flame and changed shape while also fighting to dislodge and kill Archaon. Eventually he broke Dorghar's will and killed the daemon prince before riding back out of the Realm of Chaos.

He got the Slayer of Kings from a sleeping Krakanrok the Black, father of the Dragon Ogre race and a being the size of a mountain. The superstrong even for a follower of chaos Khornate Beastlord Ograx was ''just'' able to lift one of Krakanrok's fingers high enough for Archaon to grab the sword. It started screaming so loud that the mountain-sized Krakanrok began to stir and Archaon silenced the blade's screaming by impaling the Beastlord through the heart with it, thereby sating its regicidal thirst.

The search for the Crown took longer than all the others combined. But, as we know, he gained the Crown of Domination by travelling to the First Shrine of Chaos in the Northern World's Edge Mountains after Be'lakor was made by the Chaos Gods to appear and show him the way (and some directions from Vitlich in the retcon). Archaon entered and overcame tests set by all 4 of the Chaos Gods, including navigating through a maze made by Tzeentch, fighting off every disease possible from Nurgle through [[awesome|sheer]] [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|willpower]], resisting temptations from Slaanesh himself/herself and Khorne sending Skarbrand to fight him, whom he then strangled to death with his own whip (actually required a fair bit more cunning, planning and daemonic intervention than the armybook versions of the stories would have you believe).

==The Storm of Chaos fiasco ==
Eventually the Chaos Gods gave the order, and he led the most ferocious and largest army of [[Warriors of Chaos|Chaos Warriors]] ever assembled against the [[Empire]] during the [[Storm of Chaos]] campaign for 6th Edition. Before he reached the location where he was to end the world, he faced [[Valten]] (supposedly a reincarnation of Sigmar himself), who fought through the Swords of Chaos and killed Dorghar before pressing on to Archaon himself. Valten rushed in to strike Archaon after having dismounted him, but Archaon lunged out of the smoke left when Dorghar died and stabbed him in the chest; Valten pulled even closer though, and swung down, his hammer shredding through Archaon's armor and knocking him to his knees. But Valten let his guard down to un-impale himself on Archaon's sword, and the Lord of the End Times struck back and broke Valten's chestplate. In a moment of humanization and weakness, two things GW would make sure were removed from Chaos and Archaon later on, Archaon was fearful of a Sigmarite tattoo Valten had, and thought the big man himself had come to end him. Just then the [[Orcs & Goblins|Orc]] warlord [[Grimgor Ironhide|Grimgor]] smashed through the Chaos bodyguard single-handed, headbutted Arch in the junk, laughed at his sorry ass then went back to gather another army of greenskins.

The reason this bullshit happened? GW built the narrative around their battle reports, army by army. The problem is that Chaos kept losing. In fact, the good guys were winning so badly the only reason Archaon was pushing them back was due to plot. But GW had already pre-planned the story to become the grimderpofthe41stmilleniumwherethereisonlywar and make "End Times" be in the past tense. In the end, they resorted to having fans call-in the way they wanted the story to end, hoping that Warhammer Fantasy fans would pick the faction with the pointiest stuff on their armor.

They didn't.

They chose a faction that had been beaten in the last match.

Fans chose Orcs over Chaos.

GW had no backup plan.

Grimgor's entire army had been beaten by Crom while Valten and Archaon fought. Grimgor got sick of rallying his forces, went "ZOG DIS, I WANNA PIECE UV DA ACTION!" and charged in to sucker punch Archaon as he was about to deliver the final blow to Valten, shout for the silent and awed assembled armies of the world to hear that "GRIMGOR IZ DA BEST!", then went back home to rally his army. This resulted in the snide nickname of "Light Drizzle of Chaos." Archaon fled the field, somehow alive, but literally ran for the hills to escape Grimgor, who fucked off to who knows where, and the coming army of Karl-Franz.

With that pesky idea of "player agency" getting in the way of their attempt at a forced Chaos ending, GW went silent and further fluff never came. Later on, they retconned almost the entirety of Storm of Chaos and instead made it an alternate continuity. In the current narrative, <s>he's still amassing his army</s> the world ended, and this time, GW dropped the pretenses and didn't leave the ending up to the fans, and in response to complaints that Archaon was an Archy Sue, they amplified his power level through the roof.

So began the beginning of the end of the beginning of the end.

== Archaon's Posse ==
In first [[Storm of Chaos]] and now in [[The End Times]], Archaon isn't alone at the top of the hordes of chaos. He has some lieutenants to help him keep everyone organised. Closest of all is his Herald, [[Vardek Crom]], although officially Crom gets killed in a failed invasion.

In [[Storm of Chaos]], Games Workshop decided to go with the [[Your dudes]] approach, creating four lieutenants based on simply fluffing out the new Chaos Champion models for each of the four gods (save Khorne, who got a custom model based on an old Archaon head, Orc arms and an old Bloodletter body). Thusly, in [[White Dwarf]], we were introduced to:
* [[Haargroth]] the Blooded One, Champion of [[Khorne]].
* [[Feytor]] the Tainted, Champion of [[Nurgle]].
* [[Styrkaar]], Champion of [[Slaanesh]].
* [[Melekh]] the Changer and the sorcerous mutant-child Cyspeth, Champions of [[Tzeentch]].

The characters weren't received too well. So, perhaps realising their mistake, GW has revealed they're bringing back some of the big Chaos characters from their first ever Chaos Special Characters list:

* Representing [[Khorne]], it's [[Arbaal]] the Undefeated, giant Flesh Hound-riding army-butchering Chaos Lord.
* Representing [[Slaanesh]], it's [[Dechala]] the Denied One, corrupted High Elf turned six-armed poison-oozing snake-woman.
* Representing [[Nurgle]], it's [[Valnir]] the Reaper, undead soul-harvester.
* Representing [[Tzeentch]], it's [[Egrimm van Horstmann]], former Magister of the Light College turned dragon-riding daemon-commanding arch-warlock.

Unlike the others, these guys were at least respected enough to get cameos in [[The End Times]]. Two of them were even killed off, with Valnir being killed by Wulfrik in a novel and Egrimm being killed in End Times: Archaon after trying to bind the wind of Aqshy to himself. Dechala was mentioned to be in the final battle and it's said that Arbaal was kurmped as wel..

[[The End Times]] made a similar plan as well with champions representing each of the Gods, and again, Crom appears and gets his ass handed to him by Valten. This time, however, the posse is made of actually known characters:
*[[Valkia the Bloody]] representing her hubby Khorne during the invasion of Naggaroth. She eventually gets a mutual kill.
*[[Vilitch the Curseling]] being the top champion of Tzeentch while Aekold Hellbrass is busy sacking Kislev. As of ET: Thanquol, he gets sent to drag in [[Karl Franz]] so Archie may kill him once and for all. In End Times: Archaon, he and Thomin switch places, with Thomin calling the shots and Vitlich being the mindless slave.
*[[Sigvald]] the Magnificent being the only person of note dedicated to Slaanesh. He gets his face rekt by the Wight King Krell and then got killed and pissed on by Throgg the troll king.
*The [[Glottkin]] taking the position of top 3 champions of Nurgle after the guy before them gets a Runefang to the face. They get beaten in the same book they appear in by a superpowered Karl Franz and are currently sitting the rest of The End Times out in Nurgle's Mansion.

==Retcon/The End Times==
[[File:archaon.jpeg|500px|thumb|right|The Everchosen doing a badass pose.]]
GW recently realized that pushing ChaosChaosChaos in Warhammer Fantasy only turns off fans who want THEIR faction to be important (as the setting has a fair number of megalomaniacs that would put comicbook villains to shame), and as a result the End Times are finally being ushered in... by [[Nagash]]. The resident Undead [[BBEG]], who aims to take over the world by rendering everyone into undead slaves then consume the Warp. In its entirety. At that time Archaon was seeking the [[Glottkin]], the [[Maggoth Lords|Maggoth Riders]], and [[Gutrot Spume]], and upon finding them gave them three jars of plagues custom-made by Nurgle himself (they also had [[Festus the Leechlord|a man on the inside at Altdorf]] who cooked up his own plague). Archaon's plan was to use the followers of Nurgle like a magical bioweapon; softening up the Empire before he came in to finish it off. Upon hearing that Naggy's stealing his thunder, Archaon prematurely led his forces to battle.

At the border of the Empire and what was once Kislev, he encountered the Auric Bastion, a gigantic wall of metal, magic and holy energy made by [[Balthazar Gelt]] that he and his troops could not cross. Then they came under attack and his army ended up in a stalemate against the forces of [[Vlad von Carstein]], the head of the Dracula Bloodline brought back from death by big bone daddy himself. Vlad's job was to keep Archaon busy while Nagash invaded Nehekhara. Naggy himself was planning to eliminate the [[Tomb Kings]] as they were one of the few forces that can challenge his rule, then subsume them into his armies and go on to kill every living thing in the world and reanimate them.

Gelt fell prey to the separate manipulations of Vlad von Carstein and the Changeling and was outed as an up-and-coming necromancer. After a misunderstanding, Gelt is declared a traitor to the Empire and flees. With Gelt's fall from grace, the Auric Bastion loses the support of the Sigmarite priests, who deem the wall tainted due to its inventor's involvement with necromancy. Soon after the Auric Bastion crumbles, giving Chaos the green light to invade the Empire. Eager to make up for lost time, Archaon leads his forces in and bulrushes his way to Middenheim. Archaon planned to defeat the god Sigmar worshiped as a symbol of his superiority. However, Ulric had enough power to resist him and Chaos had a hard fight until [[Teclis|a meddling elf wizard]], unbeknownst to everyone else, stole Ulric's flame, allowing the power of Chaos to ravage Middenheim. Archaon took on Valten, Sigmar's heir, until a Verminlord decided to be a kill-stealing prick and decapitated Valten, enraging Archaon. Eventually Archaon and his forces conquered Middenheim.

After this Archaon claimed Sigmar's hammer from Valten's body as a trophy and set up camp in Middenheim, putting his throne in the room where the Flame of Ulric once burnt. While there he schemed to have Karl Franz killed, sending [[Kairos Fateweaver]] after him. While waiting, Archaon discovered a secret weapon under Middenheim. Under even where the Flame of Ulric was is a device left by the Old Ones. If properly tended to, it could form a third Warp Rift that would combine with the other two and destroy the world so he sought to activate it, not caring that as far as he knew, it would destroy him too. Due to [[Games Workshop|plot armor]], Kairos failed and Archaon kills the former to summon Ka'Bandha to take out Karl Franz. But he and the other Khornate daemons champed at the bit to start the fight while Archaon camped in Middenheim so he permitted them to hunt Karl Franz and the Incarnates as long as they gave him Karl Franz's flayed skin. During this time he gets several people pledging themselves to his cause who get used as auxiliaries including [[Isabella von Carstein|a possessed vampire]], [[Sigvald|a preening Chaos Lord]], the entire Skaven race and [[Settra the Imperishable|a dethroned undead king]] (though the latter's in it cos "the enemy of my enemy..." and ultimately says "fuck this shit" to Chaos).

Due to the machinations of Nurgle and the Skaven, Nagash is reduced from contender for the main villain and a burgeoning god of undeath to that "lesser villain that needs to team up with the good guys to fight the true villain" guy. The Bone Daddy approaches the Incarnates and offers an alliance which they, ''very'' grudgingly, accept. Eventually the Incarnates come to Middenheim and a gigantic clusterfuck of a battle occurs. The Orcs led by Grimgor throw in their lot with the Incarnates after some skillful manipulation from Malekith and even Sigmar himself makes a comeback. Despite everything arrayed against them, it eventually ends up being ChaosChaosChaos anyways when they fail to stop Archaon's ace-in-the-hole; his custom-made, Old-Ones-inspired WMD... Largely because Mannfred decided to betray Nagash (along with the rest of the good guys) at the last moment. While everyone else either dies or gets warped into some chaos bullshit, Archaon and Sigmar fall into the Warp Rift while wrestling for the hammer.

Whatever anyone says, if there was to be an ending to Warhammer Fantasy Battle, this is it: The Big Good and Big Bad of the setting falling into oblivion wrestling over The Warhammer. Fucking <strike>sweet</strike> <strike>gay</strike> however you feel about it.

==Age of Sigmar==
So by now I imagine you're thinking "well bugger me, how can this guy get any more badass and/or mary sueish?" Well let me answer that for you, with a new model. Move over, [[Nagash]], there's a new giant model in town and he's coming for you.

After completing a brand new series of challenges set by the Chaos Gods, smashing them all with ease and without a shred of loyalty for the Unholy Quintet, and rejecting the newly ascended [[Great Horned Rat]]'s offer of a blessing by spitting in his verminous face, Archaon has been made the Grand High Marshall of Chaos. Which basically means that he can do whatever the fuck he wants without the Chaos Gods doing anything to stop him. He could go around and murder the shit out of each of the gods' best followers and get away with it, because fuck you, he's Archaon.

That said, however, not everyone unanimously accepts his claim, and there were those like the Gaunt Summoners of Tzeentch (A bunch of possibly-daemonic sorcerers with eyes all over their helmets) that put up a resistance against the Marshall, and end up getting a serious ass-whooping for their troubles. Once that was dealt with he went on a rampage through the realms. One of his harder battles was in the realm of Shyish. Archaon took on Nagash as he was the only one strong enough to defeat him. Archaon did at one point, striking him down and began to destroy his body. From there he proceeded to lock up the souls of the dead in a giant bone cage so Nagash couldn't access them.
However Nagash was the god of death and Archaon had killed him in the Afterlife, so where was we going to go, Detroit? Due to Nagash's powers - and Arkhan and Neferata retrieving his remains afterwards - Nagash returned to try and lay a vengeful beatdown on Archaon's army, only to fail again. He used his powers to break the bone cage and gain access to the souls Archaon had contained. The two dueled, again but Archaon called on the Bloodthirsters for backup, forcing Nagash to retreat. Archaon's only defeat came at the hands of Malerion in the realm of Ulgu, and he is now fascinated by Ulgu.

On top of his legions, he also controls his own order of knights, called the Varanguard. These guys replace Archie's old warband and serve as his presence in every campaign, and in those he does deign worthy of his direct intervention, they serve as his mightiest warriors. These guys are called from every walk of Chaos, and each of them find some omen compelling them to serve the Everchosen to which they follow so devotedly that they abandon their god's calling to serve him under pain of death. Those that pass the trials laid before them on their route to the Varanspire (his new castle in the Realm of Chaos) are then chosen to join one of his eight circles and gain a giant mutant thing that possibly used to be a horse. Also joined by some of Slaanesh's followers and daemons - the Invaders faction - who now worships him as their god.

And that's not even mentioning the new changes to his look.

For a start, Archaon is now rocking some badass new black armour that makes him look much more sinister, powerful, and imposing, though at the cost of the Northern Warlord look he used to have. Slayer of Kings is also different, now a gigantic on-fire sword with a much more ornate design than before, very cool. But the real change isn't even Archaon himself, but the horse Dorgar. Well, ex-horse, because Dhorgar is now a gigantic chimera monster with three heads to represent Nurgle, Khorne, and Tzeentch (Slaanesh has vanished without a trace) and two tails as a homage to the Great Horned Rat. He's now gathering all the forces of Chaos together to launch a massive campaign against Sigmar and finish what he started in the Old World, and stands as the greatest threat that Order may ever have to face. Just like old times, huh? To GW's credit, Sigmar's also gotten a lot stronger, so it's beginning to feel less like some author's pet stomping over non-opposition, but who will ultimately win?

Archaon also nearly scored a major win for Chaos during the Soul Wars by finding and reaching Slaanesh's prison. He took his Varanguard, leaving the Chaos Lord Namos Saskarid in charge while he went to free the Chaos God. Unfortunately for him and fortunately for everyone not Chaos-aligned, Nagash chose that time to strike. The undead attacked through the Shyishian realmgate and captured it, with Lady Olynder personally killing Saskarid. Then Katakros and armies from four Ossiarch Legions moved in and fortified the gate, leaving part of the Allpoints under control of Nagash. From there Bonereaper and Nighthaunt armies ravaged the Eightpoints, even laying siege to the Varanspire itself. Upon learning of this, Archaon was forced to stop breaking Slaanesh's chains and led his forces in a mad rush back to the Eightpoints. Catching the undead in a three-pronged attack, the undead army was decimated, Archaon leading the charge and destroying many undead including slaying Katakros' lieutenant Zandtos. Soon the Everchosen and Mortarch met for the first time, immediately enaging each other in a vicious duel. Despite his attendants dying, Katakros did well against Archon until he got pinned by Dorghar and run through with the Slayer of Kings (though unbeknownst to Archaon, Katakros had planned for that and has lots of back-up bodies). Having repelled the undead but losing part of the Eightpoints to Nagash, Archaon decided that next time he crossed paths with Nagash, he'd finish him for off once and for all.

== On the tabletop ==

===Warhammer Fantasy===
In an interesting irony, though probably not intentional, Archaon is also in a lot ways the opposite of Abaddon, not in a bad way. Where as Abaddon tends to get changed fairly heavily each edition, Archaon stays mostly the same with each book, with the only changes to him being armor save's not including bonus for him being mounted, what his steed can do, or whether or not you can field him on foot. Also, where as Abaddon is characterized by his hitting power while being respectably tough to kill, Archaon hits hard (base attack ignores armor and can double attacks for the rest of the game, though if does any 1s on to hit rolls have to be directed at him or his unit) although his most impressive trait is how freaking hard he is to kill. While his statline is only slightly better than a normal Chaos Lord, he has a 1+ armor save, a 3+ ward save, all to hit rolls against him have a -1 and he can't be wounded on better than 3+. Sadly, while an indestructible death machine, his cost keeps him from getting much use. Afterall, [[Dwarfs|cannons]] are the solution to all problems in Warhammer Fantasy.

===Age of Sigmar===
Age of Sigmar continues this trend of indestructibility in style. Now rocking a 3+ Save that he can easily buff to a 2+, a 5+ Save against Mortal Wounds, and now ''20 FUCKING WOUNDS! HOLY SHIT, THIS IS MEANT TO BE THE GAME WHERE 1 WOUND IS THE AVERAGE, RIGHT?'' Yeah, new monster-riding Archaon is even more of a tank than he used to be, and that's saying a lot. And in addition to this, his new three-headed Dorghar can use one of three special abilities every turn he kills somebody in melee. This can range from vomiting up the remains of his victims all over the unit he's fighting, Nurgle style, to ''eating their skulls and heal D3 wounds!'' Fucking hell, and I thought he was a tank before he could regenerate. In addition to his insane defensive ability, he can also bring the pain too. He has access to Arcane Bolt (as well as the ability to gain the spells of any other wizard if he feeds the unfortunate wizard to the Tzeentch head), though Mystic Shield is always a better choice to up his defense, Dorghar can hit like a truck like any monster, and the Slayer of Kings returns as potentially one of the strongest weapons in the game with an easy To Hit and To Wound, and very heavy Rend and Damage. In addition, if you roll two 6's To Wound on the same Hero with the Slayer of Kings, then it instantly kills them with no saves of any kind allowed. Though with only four attacks, this won't happen too often. Still, with those stats he's easily going to live long enough to pull it off sooner or later.

==Total War: WARHAMMER==
Archaon appears as the faction leader for the Warriors of Chaos, the first DLC faction of Total War: WARHAMMER and though the campaign mechanics of said faction have been left in the dirt by newer and shinier factions to come out, Archaon still manages to be an absolute menace on the battlefield in a chaos campaign. At level 40 and with all of his quest items (of which he has 4, as many as you can have) he carries on the tabletop tradition of being an absolute tank, rocking an impressive 40% ward save combined with a 20% physical resist (which can be comboed with the Swords of Chaos' guardian ability, bringing the physical resist upto 35%), and a 15% magical resist resulting in a combined damage reduction of up to 75% for physical damage and 55% for magical damage. Couple this with the fact that you can easily get him to over 130 armor and over 100 of both melee defense AND attack, and he will stay in the fight for longer than most. Oh and he also gets access to the lore of fire and the Slayer of Kings, ensuring that he can dish out punishment as readily as he can take it.

However, as mentioned this is all in the chaos campaign. On multiplayer... well, he's a bit of a meme. Players have even given him the moniker of "Archaon the Neverchosen" due to the fact that more often than not people will elect to either bring Kholek or a generic Chaos Lord in favor of Archaon. There are a couple of reasons for this

* His tankiness in campaign is simply not as much a factor in multiplayer, though he does have 120 armor, 5000 hp, 60 melee defense, and 10% physical resist, he is still far more vurlerable to being gooned by other lords than Kholek or Sarthorael would be, largely owing to him not having nearly as high a mass as either of those two leading to him being unable to push his way out of dangerous situations. It also means that he is staggered more in combat, leading to him getting fewer hits in and is therefore less effective.
* And much like his tankiness is a non factor, his killiness is as well. He's got a single strong damage augmenting item, that being the Slayer of Kings, which albeit very killy, has a very long cooldown and more importantly only recharges if he's in melee, leading to you potentially only being able to use it once in a match if the opponent is avoiding him well.
* Speaking of avoiding him, he can be quite easy to kite despite being a mounted lord with a relatively high speed, and you might wonder why this is? Well, remember that mass problem he's got? If he does manage to get on top of someone's lord and pops his Slayer of Kings, all that lord has to do is find a handy unit of zombies, gobbos or whatever else expendable unit they have lying around and throw them at him while their lord runs away, leaving him to go fisticuffs with a unit that he will beat eventually, but a unit that he doesn't actually want to be fighting since it's a waste for him to do so.
* Speaking of wastes, let's talk about his cost. Stripping all his magic and items (though not Dorghar, what would he be without him) Archaon comes in at a premium at 2085 gold, just slightly more expensive than a Dragon Ogre shaggoth. Kholek meanwhile (being his primary contender) comes in at 2200, which albeit more expensive, gives you a lot more due to the fact that Kholek doesn't suffer from having low mass, nor does his combat buff, Starcrusher, recharge only in combat. It's admittedly a weaker buff in terms of raw damage potential, but it lasts longer and is available more reliably, therefore giving it the edge. And of course, if you don't want either Kholek nor Archaeon, you can always go for the dead cheap Chaos Lord or even Sigvald, who allow you to go for a wider build.

Maybe with game 3 being focused more on Chaos we'll see an update to the Warriors of Chaos and Archaon, that hopefully might make him a more lucrative pick, but at the moment he's just a bit lackluster compared to his competitors.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image: Original Archaon.jpg|Archaon, back in the early days of Warhammer Fantasy. He had a horsie.
Image: Archaon Old.jpg|Archaon's limited edition model, on-foot.
Image: Archaon New.jpg|Archaon's new model. He gets a daemon horsie now.
Image:ArchaonAOS.jpg|Archaon's newER model, now with a gigantic daemon chimera, the Evolved form of daemon horsie.
Image:Godbeasts.jpg|An evil, powerful warrior traveling from world to world, seeking further power from a godlike serpentine dragon... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4vjJrGeh1c that sounds familiar].
Image: The three eyed king.jpg
Image: Archaon end times.png
Image: Lord of the End Times.jpg
Image: Archaon 3.png|Archaon in [[Total War: WARHAMMER]]
</gallery>

==Memes==
Of course what would a Warhammer character be without the memes?

Archaon is notable for a fair few, given the tendency of writers to keep at least his foot in the spotlight.
* ANIME: Thanks to his art and general JRPG villain actions in Age of Sigmar, Archaon has become the embodiement of ANIME (always caps).
* Horns: Archaon's helmet horns have grown in each incarnation, leading to humor a la Abby's armlessness about horn growth, and the increasing difficulty lifting or turning his head.
* Penguins: Archaon has described the Beastmen inhabiting the south pole as "true Beastmen", free from human taint. Since there is no combination of Daemon, man, mutant, or beast not present in the Old World some have come to the conclusion that Archaon is scared of penguins.
* Archaos: The creator of the Archaon character identified his original intended name as the even more ludicrous "Archaos", destined to fall on his sword in the final battle after realizing what he had done to the laughter of the Chaos Gods. Since then Archaos the teenage suicide victim bullied by the Four has become a preferred way to mock the character.
* [[Slambo]]: A generic miniature from Oldhammer that some see as the REAL Everchosen.
* Everchozen: He'll have this world.... kid. A purposefully bad Paint drawing of Archaon in the style of Coldsteel the Hedgehog, complete with massive horns and a bio reminiscent of a twelve year old's Naruto OC. Commonly used by critics of the End Times and/or GW's sudden masturbation of Chaos in general (and ''boy'' are there plenty of critics), and/or as "Neverchozen", referencing pre-retcon Archaon and his failure.
* On a minor note, two memes about [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2019/11/15/meme-hammer-youre-welcome/ Archaon failing to destroy the world of Warhammer from Geedubs themselves] after the news about [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]] returned.

{{Chaos-Champions}}
{{Template:ChaosGods}}
[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Slaves to Darkness]]

Archaon

2021-01-04T10:42:26Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:A411:F40D:90A5:3D4: /* The Legend */

[[Image:Archaon Book.jpg|570px|thumb|right|A wallpaper version of his solo [[Black Library]] novel cover art.]]
<div style="font-size:1.10em;font-weight:bold;font-style: FFF Tusj ;font-family:serif;margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em"><span style='color:
#A57164;font-size:100%'> I AM THE TRUE CHOSEN OF CHAOS!<br> - Archaon teaching [[Abaddon|a certain armless failure]] on how to actually be kick ass'''</span></div>
{{Topquote|Fear me, mortals, for I am the Anointed, the Favored Son of Chaos, the Scourge of the World. The armies of the gods rally behind me, and it is by my will and by my sword that your weakling nations shall fall.|Archaon the Everchosen, Lord of the End Times}}
{{Topquote|My hatred is a thousand times more powerful than all your good intentions.|Jim Goad}}
{{Topquote|Everyone, deep in their hearts, is waiting for the end of the world to come.|Haruki Murakami}}

'''Archaon the <S>Overchosen</s> Everchosen''', formerly known as '''Diederick Kastnar''', also known concurrently as '''The Three-Eyed King''', '''Lord of the End-Times''', '''[[A Song of Ice and Fire|Kingslayer]]''', and various other titles besides is the supreme Chaos Lord of [[Warhammer Fantasy]] and its successor, [[Age of Sigmar]], as well as in [[Total War: WARHAMMER]]. He is a successor of the Kurgan High Zar Asavar Kul, who previously held the title of Everchosen. Archaon, on the other hand, managed to successfully destroy the world during the [[End Times]] and defeated Grimgor in single combat (while the latter was high off becoming the Incarnate of the Wind of Beasts, no less) and, more importantly, wrestled with Sigmar Heldenhammer himself before falling with him into a Chaos Portal to fight over the titular Warhammer for which the settings of Fantasy and 40K are named, which he just barely lost.

In other words, he shits all over the [[Abaddon|other guy]] in terms of competency and skill. Supposedly, his name is Tilean, meaning 'Warhammer Rome'. Because GW Latin fetish. Depending on how you look at him, he's either a cool, [[awesome|badass]] legend of Chaos and terrifyingly powerful, or a lameass [[Mary Sue|Gary Stu]] and the obnoxious and [[edgy]] conclusion of GW's recent Chaos fapfest.

This is, of course, his newest iteration. Archaon's been around before and was the titular Lord of the End Times during the Storm of Chaos, though both the event and his character were retconned and brought back with heavy modification for 8th Edition. See the End Times article itself for skub surrounding that.

[http://myglobalmind.com/2015/08/25/interview-with-archaon-from-norwegian-death-metal-band-1349/ Also moonlights as a guitarist for Norwegian Black Metal bands].

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1a84RoIMa1Q In the latest of a long line of cool by GW, Archaon's sword, the Slayer of Kings, HAS BEEN MADE IN REAL LIFE]. This is in celebration of the new ''Everchosen'' contest, the flashy new international version of the [[Golden Demon]], and like the Slayer Sword, one fab enough painter gets to win this.

==The Legend==
[[Grimdark|Archaon was born to a Nordland townswoman after a raiding party of bloodthirsty Norscan Chaos Marauders visited the town and the leader of said party proceeded to rape her viciously before leaving her for dead amidst the burning husk of her village.]] Of course, the village woman [[Indrick Boreale|did not die then, no,]] but was found clinging to life by her husband and children. After trying unsuccessfully to [[Grimdark|abort the pregnancy the Marauder champion had forced on her]], she died nine months later giving birth to the raider's bastard son. Rejected by the surviving family members, the midwife left the baby near the door of a Sigmarite church, where he was saved from a pack of hungry wolves by a Sigmarite priest who adopted in as a son and page for the local church, naming him Diederick.

As it happens, this fisherwoman was named Viktoria Rothschild in ''Archaon - Everchosen''. [[/pol/|Anyone interested enough in making the reach would claim this essentially makes Archaon an evil Jew bent on world domination.]]

Diederick grew up into a vigorous and devout lad, strong in the ways of Sigmar, and became a squire for the lecherous lout of a knight Sieur Kastnar. When the Sieur Kastnar ran afoul of some foes and died, Diederick, being a man of honor, took it upon himself to deliver the knight's ancestral sword to House Kastnar. The lady of the House, having been disregarded and despised by her husband, was touched by the young squire's dedication and integrity, and adopted him to her house, bequeathing the sword of Kastnar to him, along with the dead knight's horse Orberon. With her sponsorship, Diederick then entered into the prestigious Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb, becoming the greatest warrior of the Order on account of his (unbeknownst) Northern bloodlust and a paragon of the Order's knightly ideals. [[Grimdark|Which essentially means he was a Black Templar level fanatic who didn't think twice of killing children if they were born with the taint of Chaos]].

Later on his career, while questing about and slaying whole tribes of Beastmen single-handed, Diederick came across a group of the Sisters of Sigmar who were transporting a heretical tome. This tome would turn out to be Liber Celestior itself, penned by Necrodormo the Insane under the direction of Be'Lakor himself, and said to hold the prophecy of the Everchosen of Chaos, the final champion who would herald the End Times. The tome was to be transported to the Grand Cathedral of Sigmar in Altdorf, where it would be kept protected from a warband of Chaos Warriors intent on using it to find the Everchosen. This warband being the Swords of Chaos.

Of course, young Diederick had not even seen the prophecy for himself. And indeed, for so many years, had been much too fanatical and thick in the head to realize that he fit the perfect profile of a Norscan warrior, not an Imperial knight. This also did not come fully to him when his own Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb began hunting him, despite him having been the greatest exemplar of their Order's religious and military ideals. Diederick, being a <s>complete badass</s> fucking Mary Sue, made quick work of the knights and also managed to evade the Swords of Chaos, seeking refuge at the Kastnar estate only to find it having been burned to the ground. There, he conferred with the young Sister of Sigmar Giselle and the priest who had fostered him as to the reasons why the Empire had declared him a heretic and why the Swords of Chaos wanted to suck his cock. They came to the conclusion that he fit the bill as the Everchosen based on the fact that:

* A). He was obviously of Norscan descent (fucking racists...)
* B). He was a knight of the Empire, like the Everchosen was foretold to be.

That's essentially it, really. It's a pretty fucking vague prophecy. But in fantasy worlds, this is often convincing enough, and so Diederick, on the advice of his foster father, journeyed to Altdorf to gain some confirmation of his dark destiny at the Grand Cathedral of Sigmar. Of course, this was after he succeeded in hanging himself because he couldn't live with the truth. Ballsy of him, but the Chaos Gods went 'lolno' and brought him back to life to get on without; they really wanted the End Times to happen, the little shits. So, after he dragged his depressed ass to Altdorf he prayed before an altar to Sigmar to give him some sign or indication that he was not forsaken by the God-King and not damned to a fate he did not choose and did not want, and received stone silence in return... other than the obvious favor he's enjoyed from the epic ass-kickings he's been delivering as a Knight. And considering the powers of Warrior-Priests, Diederick probably already had shit tons of confirmation that he was, if anything, favored by Sigmar. This doesn't explain why ANY other Human, Elf or Dwarf God didn't appear to prevent End Times, or why Sigmar did fuck-all at the time since even a single act would've stopped the entirety of the End Times. [[Mary Sue|Archaon went batshit and managed to take down the entire knightly garrison of the Sigmarite Cathedral]] and even managed to cripple and capture the Grand Theogonist. Interrogating the Grand Theogonist by breaking his fingers individually, Diederick demanded to know how exactly the Knights of the Twin-Tailed Orb were so sure that he was the Everchosen; after all, there were countless half-Norscans running about in the Empire, and there were countless knights of the Empire who had fallen to Chaos. The Theogonist revealed that they weren't sure at all; they had been hunting everyone with his profile throughout the Empire just to make sure. The clincher was that the true Everchosen was prophesied to travel to Altdorf and ask that exact question.

So yes, if Diederick had ''not'' gone to Altdorf to find this out, he would not have fulfilled the prophecy. [[Just as Planned]]. This also means that if the Theogonist did nothing then the End Times also never would've happened, [[derp|and despite knowing this they chose to act.]]

Having finally been driven to Joker levels of genocidal insanity by this tidbit of information (and bad writing), Archaon's switch flipped from good to evil and he loudly denounced the God-King Sigmar and affirmed his allegiance to the Dark Gods of his father's race, swearing that he would bring the Empire crashing down and tear away the pageantry of Sigmar's religion to reveal the god for the craven liar and charlatan that he was. It was during this shouted oath of death and destruction that the Grand Theogonist gloatingly revealed that the entire Reikland army and pretty much the entirety of the Empire's gunpowder potential was primed on the Cathedral with the order to kill the Everchosen by any means necessary, including by destroying the Cathedral itself. Luckily for Diederick, the Swords of Chaos arrived and rescued him from the clutches of the Empire, fleeing northwards towards Norsca where the Everchosen could begin his journey. This is, of course, if you follow the later books. Originally he read the prophecy, lost his marbles, and ran off screaming in the night before deciding he'd go up north and join his new dark god daddies.

For such a popular badass among fans, you'd think his origin story wouldn't be so pathetic and stupid.

===Quest for the Six Treasures===

A'ight, bitches, y'all know the story that came after this.

Archaon traveled North, crossing into Norsca and the Chaos Wastes and began his centuries-long journey to find the Relics of Chaos - The Burning Mark of Chaos Eternal, which bestowed upon its bearer the ultimate favor all four of the Great Chaos Gods. The Armour of Morkar (shield included), the battle-scarred Chaos Plate born by the Norsii warlord and first and greatest of the Everchosen. The Slayer of Kings, the horrifyingly powerful regicidal greatsword forged by Vangel, the Second Everchosen; bound with the soul of U'zhul, the Fist of [[Khorne]]. The Crown of Domination, the ancient battle-helm borne by the first Northern warrior to bargain his soul to Chaos's Dark Lords. The Eye of Sheerian, which bestows upon its user prophetic powers (had it been the Mouth of Sheerian, it probably would have granted him a decent singing voice). And Dorghar, Steed of the Apocalypse.

Archaon got the first one by traveling to the Altar of Ultimate Darkness in Naggaroth where he single-handedly brought upon the genocide of the race of bloodthirsty, atavistic monster-men who infested the temple and who feasted upon the flesh of stray Dark Elves. In the novel and newer version, he also fought a Dark Elf army led by a dragon-riding Sorceress and was saved by Valkia when she arrived after he sacrificed a Dark Elf assassin to the Chaos Gods (strangely Valkia arrived when Archaon offered the assassin's heart even though Khorne's thing is skulls or just severed heads).

He earned the Armour of Morkar by travelling to the Norse King's cairn in the Southern Chaos Wastes and facing off against his vengeful spirit, and was nearly slaughtered by his predecessor then and there but for spitting out a 'yo mama' insult in the dead tongue of the Unberogens which managed to catch Morkar just off-guard enough due to its WTFness for Archaon to sucker-punch him and steal the armour. Actually, it turns out that Archaon said 'brinnan utva lioht', which means 'burn in the light', which if I'm being honest, sounds about as insulting as calling someone a scoundrel. In the novel, it only worked because it was Sigmar's language and the last thing Sigmar said to Morkar before concaving his head.

He claimed the Eye of Sheerian from Flamefang, the Claw of Tzeentch, a three-headed Chaos Dragon (a one-headed chaos dragon spirit that possessed and assimilated bodies to gain physical form in the novel). Archaon found it sleeping in its lair and woke it up by hitting one of its heads with his axe. There was an intense fight, which ended when Flamefang swallowed Archaon whole and flew all the way to the Southern Wastes. The armor prevented Archaon from being digested and he cut his way out of the dragon's throat from the inside, which naturally killed it. Archaon plucked the Eye of Sheerian from the belly of its corpse and hung it around his neck.

The next wasn't an item, but a being, the daemonic creature called Dorghar - also known as Ghurshy'ish'phak, Wsyorach and Yrontalie - the Steed of the Apocalypse. At the time Dorghar was being kept in the menagerie of a Slaaneshi Daemon Prince. He entered the stables by clinging to the underbelly of one of the monsters as it returned to its roost, a part man, part mammoth and part insect abomination. Once there, he broke in and tracked Dorghar by Dorghar's smell (originally) or using the Eye of Sheerian (post-retcon and in the novel) until he found the creature. He then jumped on Dorghar's back like a hellish rodeo - one where the mount burst into flame and changed shape while also fighting to dislodge and kill Archaon. Eventually he broke Dorghar's will and killed the daemon prince before riding back out of the Realm of Chaos.

He got the Slayer of Kings from a sleeping Krakanrok the Black, father of the Dragon Ogre race and a being the size of a mountain. The superstrong even for a follower of chaos Khornate Beastlord Ograx was ''just'' able to lift one of Krakanrok's fingers high enough for Archaon to grab the sword. It started screaming so loud that the mountain-sized Krakanrok began to stir and Archaon silenced the blade's screaming by impaling the Beastlord through the heart with it, thereby sating its regicidal thirst.

The search for the Crown took longer than all the others combined. But, as we know, he gained the Crown of Domination by travelling to the First Shrine of Chaos in the Northern World's Edge Mountains after Be'lakor was made by the Chaos Gods to appear and show him the way (and some directions from Vitlich in the retcon). Archaon entered and overcame tests set by all 4 of the Chaos Gods, including navigating through a maze made by Tzeentch, fighting off every disease possible from Nurgle through [[awesome|sheer]] [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|willpower]], resisting temptations from Slaanesh himself/herself and Khorne sending Skarbrand to fight him, whom he then strangled to death with his own whip (actually required a fair bit more cunning, planning and daemonic intervention than the armybook versions of the stories would have you believe).

==The Storm of Chaos fiasco ==
Eventually the Chaos Gods gave the order, and he led the most ferocious and largest army of [[Warriors of Chaos|Chaos Warriors]] ever assembled against the [[Empire]] during the [[Storm of Chaos]] campaign for 6th Edition. Before he reached the location where he was to end the world, he faced [[Valten]] (supposedly a reincarnation of Sigmar himself), who fought through the Swords of Chaos and killed Dorghar before pressing on to Archaon himself. Valten rushed in to strike Archaon after having dismounted him, but Archaon lunged out of the smoke left when Dorghar died and stabbed him in the chest; Valten pulled even closer though, and swung down, his hammer shredding through Archaon's armor and knocking him to his knees. But Valten let his guard down to un-impale himself on Archaon's sword, and the Lord of the End Times struck back and broke Valten's chestplate. In a moment of humanization and weakness, two things GW would make sure were removed from Chaos and Archaon later on, Archaon was fearful of a Sigmarite tattoo Valten had, and thought the big man himself had come to end him. Just then the [[Orcs & Goblins|Orc]] warlord [[Grimgor Ironhide|Grimgor]] smashed through the Chaos bodyguard single-handed, headbutted Arch in the junk, laughed at his sorry ass then went back to gather another army of greenskins.

The reason this bullshit happened? GW built the narrative around their battle reports, army by army. The problem is that Chaos kept losing. In fact, the good guys were winning so badly the only reason Archaon was pushing them back was due to plot. But GW had already pre-planned the story to become the grimderpofthe41stmilleniumwherethereisonlywar and make "End Times" be in the past tense. In the end, they resorted to having fans call-in the way they wanted the story to end, hoping that Warhammer Fantasy fans would pick the faction with the pointiest stuff on their armor.

They didn't.

They chose a faction that had been beaten in the last match.

Fans chose Orcs over Chaos.

GW had no backup plan.

Grimgor's entire army had been beaten by Crom while Valten and Archaon fought. Grimgor got sick of rallying his forces, went "ZOG DIS, I WANNA PIECE UV DA ACTION!" and charged in to sucker punch Archaon as he was about to deliver the final blow to Valten, shout for the silent and awed assembled armies of the world to hear that "GRIMGOR IZ DA BEST!", then went back home to rally his army. This resulted in the snide nickname of "Light Drizzle of Chaos." Archaon fled the field, somehow alive, but literally ran for the hills to escape Grimgor, who fucked off to who knows where, and the coming army of Karl-Franz.

With that pesky idea of "player agency" getting in the way of their attempt at a forced Chaos ending, GW went silent and further fluff never came. Later on, they retconned almost the entirety of Storm of Chaos and instead made it an alternate continuity. In the current narrative, <s>he's still amassing his army</s> the world ended, and this time, GW dropped the pretenses and didn't leave the ending up to the fans, and in response to complaints that Archaon was an Archy Sue, they amplified his power level through the roof.

So began the beginning of the end of the beginning of the end.

== Archaon's Posse ==
In first [[Storm of Chaos]] and now in [[The End Times]], Archaon isn't alone at the top of the hordes of chaos. He has some lieutenants to help him keep everyone organised. Closest of all is his Herald, [[Vardek Crom]], although officially Crom gets killed in a failed invasion.

In [[Storm of Chaos]], Games Workshop decided to go with the [[Your dudes]] approach, creating four lieutenants based on simply fluffing out the new Chaos Champion models for each of the four gods (save Khorne, who got a custom model based on an old Archaon head, Orc arms and an old Bloodletter body). Thusly, in [[White Dwarf]], we were introduced to:
* [[Haargroth]] the Blooded One, Champion of [[Khorne]].
* [[Feytor]] the Tainted, Champion of [[Nurgle]].
* [[Styrkaar]], Champion of [[Slaanesh]].
* [[Melekh]] the Changer and the sorcerous mutant-child Cyspeth, Champions of [[Tzeentch]].

The characters weren't received too well. So, perhaps realising their mistake, GW has revealed they're bringing back some of the big Chaos characters from their first ever Chaos Special Characters list:

* Representing [[Khorne]], it's [[Arbaal]] the Undefeated, giant Flesh Hound-riding army-butchering Chaos Lord.
* Representing [[Slaanesh]], it's [[Dechala]] the Denied One, corrupted High Elf turned six-armed poison-oozing snake-woman.
* Representing [[Nurgle]], it's [[Valnir]] the Reaper, undead soul-harvester.
* Representing [[Tzeentch]], it's [[Egrimm van Horstmann]], former Magister of the Light College turned dragon-riding daemon-commanding arch-warlock.

Unlike the others, these guys were at least respected enough to get cameos in [[The End Times]]. Two of them were even killed off, with Valnir being killed by Wulfrik in a novel and Egrimm being killed in End Times: Archaon after trying to bind the wind of Aqshy to himself. Dechala was mentioned to be in the final battle and it's said that Arbaal was kurmped as wel..

[[The End Times]] made a similar plan as well with champions representing each of the Gods, and again, Crom appears and gets his ass handed to him by Valten. This time, however, the posse is made of actually known characters:
*[[Valkia the Bloody]] representing her hubby Khorne during the invasion of Naggaroth. She eventually gets a mutual kill.
*[[Vilitch the Curseling]] being the top champion of Tzeentch while Aekold Hellbrass is busy sacking Kislev. As of ET: Thanquol, he gets sent to drag in [[Karl Franz]] so Archie may kill him once and for all. In End Times: Archaon, he and Thomin switch places, with Thomin calling the shots and Vitlich being the mindless slave.
*[[Sigvald]] the Magnificent being the only person of note dedicated to Slaanesh. He gets his face rekt by the Wight King Krell and then got killed and pissed on by Throgg the troll king.
*The [[Glottkin]] taking the position of top 3 champions of Nurgle after the guy before them gets a Runefang to the face. They get beaten in the same book they appear in by a superpowered Karl Franz and are currently sitting the rest of The End Times out in Nurgle's Mansion.

==Retcon/The End Times==
[[File:archaon.jpeg|500px|thumb|right|The Everchosen doing a badass pose.]]
GW recently realized that pushing ChaosChaosChaos in Warhammer Fantasy only turns off fans who want THEIR faction to be important (as the setting has a fair number of megalomaniacs that would put comicbook villains to shame), and as a result the End Times are finally being ushered in... by [[Nagash]]. The resident Undead [[BBEG]], who aims to take over the world by rendering everyone into undead slaves then consume the Warp. In its entirety. At that time Archaon was seeking the [[Glottkin]], the [[Maggoth Lords|Maggoth Riders]], and [[Gutrot Spume]], and upon finding them gave them three jars of plagues custom-made by Nurgle himself (they also had [[Festus the Leechlord|a man on the inside at Altdorf]] who cooked up his own plague). Archaon's plan was to use the followers of Nurgle like a magical bioweapon; softening up the Empire before he came in to finish it off. Upon hearing that Naggy's stealing his thunder, Archaon prematurely led his forces to battle.

At the border of the Empire and what was once Kislev, he encountered the Auric Bastion, a gigantic wall of metal, magic and holy energy made by [[Balthazar Gelt]] that he and his troops could not cross. Then they came under attack and his army ended up in a stalemate against the forces of [[Vlad von Carstein]], the head of the Dracula Bloodline brought back from death by big bone daddy himself. Vlad's job was to keep Archaon busy while Nagash invaded Nehekhara. Naggy himself was planning to eliminate the [[Tomb Kings]] as they were one of the few forces that can challenge his rule, then subsume them into his armies and go on to kill every living thing in the world and reanimate them.

Gelt fell prey to the separate manipulations of Vlad von Carstein and the Changeling and was outed as an up-and-coming necromancer. After a misunderstanding, Gelt is declared a traitor to the Empire and flees. With Gelt's fall from grace, the Auric Bastion loses the support of the Sigmarite priests, who deem the wall tainted due to its inventor's involvement with necromancy. Soon after the Auric Bastion crumbles, giving Chaos the green light to invade the Empire. Eager to make up for lost time, Archaon leads his forces in and bulrushes his way to Middenheim. Archaon planned to defeat the god Sigmar worshiped as a symbol of his superiority. However, Ulric had enough power to resist him and Chaos had a hard fight until [[Teclis|a meddling elf wizard]], unbeknownst to everyone else, stole Ulric's flame, allowing the power of Chaos to ravage Middenheim. Archaon took on Valten, Sigmar's heir, until a Verminlord decided to be a kill-stealing prick and decapitated Valten, enraging Archaon. Eventually Archaon and his forces conquered Middenheim.

After this Archaon claimed Sigmar's hammer from Valten's body as a trophy and set up camp in Middenheim, putting his throne in the room where the Flame of Ulric once burnt. While there he schemed to have Karl Franz killed, sending [[Kairos Fateweaver]] after him. While waiting, Archaon discovered a secret weapon under Middenheim. Under even where the Flame of Ulric was is a device left by the Old Ones. If properly tended to, it could form a third Warp Rift that would combine with the other two and destroy the world so he sought to activate it, not caring that as far as he knew, it would destroy him too. Due to [[Games Workshop|plot armor]], Kairos failed and Archaon kills the former to summon Ka'Bandha to take out Karl Franz. But he and the other Khornate daemons champed at the bit to start the fight while Archaon camped in Middenheim so he permitted them to hunt Karl Franz and the Incarnates as long as they gave him Karl Franz's flayed skin. During this time he gets several people pledging themselves to his cause who get used as auxiliaries including [[Isabella von Carstein|a possessed vampire]], [[Sigvald|a preening Chaos Lord]], the entire Skaven race and [[Settra the Imperishable|a dethroned undead king]] (though the latter's in it cos "the enemy of my enemy..." and ultimately says "fuck this shit" to Chaos).

Due to the machinations of Nurgle and the Skaven, Nagash is reduced from contender for the main villain and a burgeoning god of undeath to that "lesser villain that needs to team up with the good guys to fight the true villain" guy. The Bone Daddy approaches the Incarnates and offers an alliance which they, ''very'' grudgingly, accept. Eventually the Incarnates come to Middenheim and a gigantic clusterfuck of a battle occurs. The Orcs led by Grimgor throw in their lot with the Incarnates after some skillful manipulation from Malekith and even Sigmar himself makes a comeback. Despite everything arrayed against them, it eventually ends up being ChaosChaosChaos anyways when they fail to stop Archaon's ace-in-the-hole; his custom-made, Old-Ones-inspired WMD... Largely because Mannfred decided to betray Nagash (along with the rest of the good guys) at the last moment. While everyone else either dies or gets warped into some chaos bullshit, Archaon and Sigmar fall into the Warp Rift while wrestling for the hammer.

Whatever anyone says, if there was to be an ending to Warhammer Fantasy Battle, this is it: The Big Good and Big Bad of the setting falling into oblivion wrestling over The Warhammer. Fucking <strike>sweet</strike> <strike>gay</strike> however you feel about it.

==Age of Sigmar==
So by now I imagine you're thinking "well bugger me, how can this guy get any more badass and/or mary sueish?" Well let me answer that for you, with a new model. Move over, [[Nagash]], there's a new giant model in town and he's coming for you.

After completing a brand new series of challenges set by the Chaos Gods, smashing them all with ease and without a shred of loyalty for the Unholy Quintet, and rejecting the newly ascended [[Great Horned Rat]]'s offer of a blessing by spitting in his verminous face, Archaon has been made the Grand High Marshall of Chaos. Which basically means that he can do whatever the fuck he wants without the Chaos Gods doing anything to stop him. He could go around and murder the shit out of each of the gods' best followers and get away with it, because fuck you, he's Archaon.

That said, however, not everyone unanimously accepts his claim, and there were those like the Gaunt Summoners of Tzeentch (A bunch of possibly-daemonic sorcerers with eyes all over their helmets) that put up a resistance against the Marshall, and end up getting a serious ass-whooping for their troubles. Once that was dealt with he went on a rampage through the realms. One of his harder battles was in the realm of Shyish. Archaon took on Nagash as he was the only one strong enough to defeat him. Archaon did at one point, striking him down and began to destroy his body. From there he proceeded to lock up the souls of the dead in a giant bone cage so Nagash couldn't access them.
However Nagash was the god of death and Archaon had killed him in the Afterlife, so where was we going to go, Detroit? Due to Nagash's powers - and Arkhan and Neferata retrieving his remains afterwards - Nagash returned to try and lay a vengeful beatdown on Archaon's army, only to fail again. He used his powers to break the bone cage and gain access to the souls Archaon had contained. The two dueled, again but Archaon called on the Bloodthirsters for backup, forcing Nagash to retreat. Archaon's only defeat came at the hands of Malerion in the realm of Ulgu, and he is now fascinated by Ulgu.

On top of his legions, he also controls his own order of knights, called the Varanguard. These guys replace Archie's old warband and serve as his presence in every campaign, and in those he does deign worthy of his direct intervention, they serve as his mightiest warriors. These guys are called from every walk of Chaos, and each of them find some omen compelling them to serve the Everchosen to which they follow so devotedly that they abandon their god's calling to serve him under pain of death. Those that pass the trials laid before them on their route to the Varanspire (his new castle in the Realm of Chaos) are then chosen to join one of his eight circles and gain a giant mutant thing that possibly used to be a horse. Also joined by some of Slaanesh's followers and daemons - the Invaders faction - who now worships him as their god.

And that's not even mentioning the new changes to his look.

For a start, Archaon is now rocking some badass new black armour that makes him look much more sinister, powerful, and imposing, though at the cost of the Northern Warlord look he used to have. Slayer of Kings is also different, now a gigantic on-fire sword with a much more ornate design than before, very cool. But the real change isn't even Archaon himself, but the horse Dorgar. Well, ex-horse, because Dhorgar is now a gigantic chimera monster with three heads to represent Nurgle, Khorne, and Tzeentch (Slaanesh has vanished without a trace) and two tails as a homage to the Great Horned Rat. He's now gathering all the forces of Chaos together to launch a massive campaign against Sigmar and finish what he started in the Old World, and stands as the greatest threat that Order may ever have to face. Just like old times, huh? To GW's credit, Sigmar's also gotten a lot stronger, so it's beginning to feel less like some author's pet stomping over non-opposition, but who will ultimately win?

Archaon also nearly scored a major win for Chaos during the Soul Wars. After searching, Archaon had found Slaanesh. He took his Varanguard, leaving the Chaos Lord Namos Saskarid in charge while he went to free the Chaos God. Unfortunately for him and fortunately for everyone not Chaos-aligned, Nagash made his big move. The undead attacked through the Shyishian realmgate and captured it, with Lady Olynder personally killing Saskarid. Then Katakros and armies from four Ossiarch Legions moved in and fortified the gate, leaving part of the Allpoints under control of Nagash, and Bonereaper and Nighthaunt armies ravaged the Eightpoints, even laying siege to the Varanspire itself. Upon learning of this, Archaon abandoned his mission to free Slaanesh and rushed back to the Eightpoints. His forces combined with the defenders, decimated the undead armies, Archaon leading the charge and destroying many undead including slaying Katakros' lieutenant Zandtos. The Everchosen and Mortarch met for the first time, and after a long duel Archaon cut down Katakros (though unbeknownst to Archaon, Katakros had planned for that and has lots of back-up bodies). Having repelled the undead but having lost part of the Eightpoints to Nagash, Archaon decided that next time he crossed paths with Nagash, he'd finish him for off once and for all.

== On the tabletop ==

===Warhammer Fantasy===
In an interesting irony, though probably not intentional, Archaon is also in a lot ways the opposite of Abaddon, not in a bad way. Where as Abaddon tends to get changed fairly heavily each edition, Archaon stays mostly the same with each book, with the only changes to him being armor save's not including bonus for him being mounted, what his steed can do, or whether or not you can field him on foot. Also, where as Abaddon is characterized by his hitting power while being respectably tough to kill, Archaon hits hard (base attack ignores armor and can double attacks for the rest of the game, though if does any 1s on to hit rolls have to be directed at him or his unit) although his most impressive trait is how freaking hard he is to kill. While his statline is only slightly better than a normal Chaos Lord, he has a 1+ armor save, a 3+ ward save, all to hit rolls against him have a -1 and he can't be wounded on better than 3+. Sadly, while an indestructible death machine, his cost keeps him from getting much use. Afterall, [[Dwarfs|cannons]] are the solution to all problems in Warhammer Fantasy.

===Age of Sigmar===
Age of Sigmar continues this trend of indestructibility in style. Now rocking a 3+ Save that he can easily buff to a 2+, a 5+ Save against Mortal Wounds, and now ''20 FUCKING WOUNDS! HOLY SHIT, THIS IS MEANT TO BE THE GAME WHERE 1 WOUND IS THE AVERAGE, RIGHT?'' Yeah, new monster-riding Archaon is even more of a tank than he used to be, and that's saying a lot. And in addition to this, his new three-headed Dorghar can use one of three special abilities every turn he kills somebody in melee. This can range from vomiting up the remains of his victims all over the unit he's fighting, Nurgle style, to ''eating their skulls and heal D3 wounds!'' Fucking hell, and I thought he was a tank before he could regenerate. In addition to his insane defensive ability, he can also bring the pain too. He has access to Arcane Bolt (as well as the ability to gain the spells of any other wizard if he feeds the unfortunate wizard to the Tzeentch head), though Mystic Shield is always a better choice to up his defense, Dorghar can hit like a truck like any monster, and the Slayer of Kings returns as potentially one of the strongest weapons in the game with an easy To Hit and To Wound, and very heavy Rend and Damage. In addition, if you roll two 6's To Wound on the same Hero with the Slayer of Kings, then it instantly kills them with no saves of any kind allowed. Though with only four attacks, this won't happen too often. Still, with those stats he's easily going to live long enough to pull it off sooner or later.

==Total War: WARHAMMER==
Archaon appears as the faction leader for the Warriors of Chaos, the first DLC faction of Total War: WARHAMMER and though the campaign mechanics of said faction have been left in the dirt by newer and shinier factions to come out, Archaon still manages to be an absolute menace on the battlefield in a chaos campaign. At level 40 and with all of his quest items (of which he has 4, as many as you can have) he carries on the tabletop tradition of being an absolute tank, rocking an impressive 40% ward save combined with a 20% physical resist (which can be comboed with the Swords of Chaos' guardian ability, bringing the physical resist upto 35%), and a 15% magical resist resulting in a combined damage reduction of up to 75% for physical damage and 55% for magical damage. Couple this with the fact that you can easily get him to over 130 armor and over 100 of both melee defense AND attack, and he will stay in the fight for longer than most. Oh and he also gets access to the lore of fire and the Slayer of Kings, ensuring that he can dish out punishment as readily as he can take it.

However, as mentioned this is all in the chaos campaign. On multiplayer... well, he's a bit of a meme. Players have even given him the moniker of "Archaon the Neverchosen" due to the fact that more often than not people will elect to either bring Kholek or a generic Chaos Lord in favor of Archaon. There are a couple of reasons for this

* His tankiness in campaign is simply not as much a factor in multiplayer, though he does have 120 armor, 5000 hp, 60 melee defense, and 10% physical resist, he is still far more vurlerable to being gooned by other lords than Kholek or Sarthorael would be, largely owing to him not having nearly as high a mass as either of those two leading to him being unable to push his way out of dangerous situations. It also means that he is staggered more in combat, leading to him getting fewer hits in and is therefore less effective.
* And much like his tankiness is a non factor, his killiness is as well. He's got a single strong damage augmenting item, that being the Slayer of Kings, which albeit very killy, has a very long cooldown and more importantly only recharges if he's in melee, leading to you potentially only being able to use it once in a match if the opponent is avoiding him well.
* Speaking of avoiding him, he can be quite easy to kite despite being a mounted lord with a relatively high speed, and you might wonder why this is? Well, remember that mass problem he's got? If he does manage to get on top of someone's lord and pops his Slayer of Kings, all that lord has to do is find a handy unit of zombies, gobbos or whatever else expendable unit they have lying around and throw them at him while their lord runs away, leaving him to go fisticuffs with a unit that he will beat eventually, but a unit that he doesn't actually want to be fighting since it's a waste for him to do so.
* Speaking of wastes, let's talk about his cost. Stripping all his magic and items (though not Dorghar, what would he be without him) Archaon comes in at a premium at 2085 gold, just slightly more expensive than a Dragon Ogre shaggoth. Kholek meanwhile (being his primary contender) comes in at 2200, which albeit more expensive, gives you a lot more due to the fact that Kholek doesn't suffer from having low mass, nor does his combat buff, Starcrusher, recharge only in combat. It's admittedly a weaker buff in terms of raw damage potential, but it lasts longer and is available more reliably, therefore giving it the edge. And of course, if you don't want either Kholek nor Archaeon, you can always go for the dead cheap Chaos Lord or even Sigvald, who allow you to go for a wider build.

Maybe with game 3 being focused more on Chaos we'll see an update to the Warriors of Chaos and Archaon, that hopefully might make him a more lucrative pick, but at the moment he's just a bit lackluster compared to his competitors.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image: Original Archaon.jpg|Archaon, back in the early days of Warhammer Fantasy. He had a horsie.
Image: Archaon Old.jpg|Archaon's limited edition model, on-foot.
Image: Archaon New.jpg|Archaon's new model. He gets a daemon horsie now.
Image:ArchaonAOS.jpg|Archaon's newER model, now with a gigantic daemon chimera, the Evolved form of daemon horsie.
Image:Godbeasts.jpg|An evil, powerful warrior traveling from world to world, seeking further power from a godlike serpentine dragon... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4vjJrGeh1c that sounds familiar].
Image: The three eyed king.jpg
Image: Archaon end times.png
Image: Lord of the End Times.jpg
Image: Archaon 3.png|Archaon in [[Total War: WARHAMMER]]
</gallery>

==Memes==
Of course what would a Warhammer character be without the memes?

Archaon is notable for a fair few, given the tendency of writers to keep at least his foot in the spotlight.
* ANIME: Thanks to his art and general JRPG villain actions in Age of Sigmar, Archaon has become the embodiement of ANIME (always caps).
* Horns: Archaon's helmet horns have grown in each incarnation, leading to humor a la Abby's armlessness about horn growth, and the increasing difficulty lifting or turning his head.
* Penguins: Archaon has described the Beastmen inhabiting the south pole as "true Beastmen", free from human taint. Since there is no combination of Daemon, man, mutant, or beast not present in the Old World some have come to the conclusion that Archaon is scared of penguins.
* Archaos: The creator of the Archaon character identified his original intended name as the even more ludicrous "Archaos", destined to fall on his sword in the final battle after realizing what he had done to the laughter of the Chaos Gods. Since then Archaos the teenage suicide victim bullied by the Four has become a preferred way to mock the character.
* [[Slambo]]: A generic miniature from Oldhammer that some see as the REAL Everchosen.
* Everchozen: He'll have this world.... kid. A purposefully bad Paint drawing of Archaon in the style of Coldsteel the Hedgehog, complete with massive horns and a bio reminiscent of a twelve year old's Naruto OC. Commonly used by critics of the End Times and/or GW's sudden masturbation of Chaos in general (and ''boy'' are there plenty of critics), and/or as "Neverchozen", referencing pre-retcon Archaon and his failure.
* On a minor note, two memes about [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2019/11/15/meme-hammer-youre-welcome/ Archaon failing to destroy the world of Warhammer from Geedubs themselves] after the news about [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]] returned.

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[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Slaves to Darkness]]