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Assholetep

2021-02-13T16:40:58Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* Assholetep's daily routine */

{{Awesome}}
[[Image:Assholetep laughs and winks.jpg|thumb|CHK-WHRRRRRR.]]

"An aeons old automaton king... with the petulant impatience and obnoxious tantrums of a 7 year old child."

+++ [[Imperial]] Star Charts name this world the [[Tomb World]] of the [[Necron Lord]], Assholetep the Insufferable, ruler of the Dikh-Ehd dynasty.

RECOMMENDATION: Avoid at all costs. Assholetep is easier to insult than a catty gay hipster at a costume party on Halloween where like 3 other gay men are dressed as the same obscure superhero that you never heard of.

Below are a collection of anecdotes pertaining to the many misdeeds and tantrums of Assholetep the Insufferable.

== Anecdotes ==

>Wakes up<br>
>[[Orks]] looted his favorite [[Necron Staff Weapons#Staff of Light|Staff of Light]].<br>
>Teleports his entire Tombworld's forces to fight a massive WAAAGH!!! three sectors over.<br>
>IG happen to be fighting the Orks.<br>
>Helps them<br>
>At victory party<br>
>Planetary-Governor doesn't compliment his new cloak.<br>
>Entire sub-sector devoid of all life the next week.
--------------------
>Fighting [[Tyranids]]<br>
>[[Ripper]]s won't let him keep them as pets.<br>
>To this day, nobody knows what has been cutting a bloody path through [[Hive Fleet Kraken]].
--------------------
>It's his birthday.<br>
>The Feudal World that hasn't had contact from space in thousands of years forgot.<br>
>Entire population butchered.<br>
>[[Flayed Ones]] dance around in rotting flesh and party hats.
--------------------
>At victory Banquet after fending off [[Hive Fleet Gorgon]] at Ka'mais.<br>
>Nobody lets him ride in a [[XV-8 Crisis Battlesuit|Crisis Suit]].<br>
>MFW we know the real reason for the Harvest of Ka'mais.
--------------------
>Helps [[IG]] fight [[Chaos]] for rule over a planet.<br>
>Weeks into the campaign<br>
>Lord [[Commissar]] mispronounces his name.<br>
>The [[Daemon Prince]] Valshar now rules over Ciruck IV.
--------------------
>Gives [[Magos|Arch-Magos]] new shiny [[Necrodermis]] body.<br>
>Becomes most trusted advisor.<br>
>Years later<br>
>Forgets to polish his Res Orb for him.<br>
>Magos is melted down and turned into [[Scarab]]s. The forgeworld where he grew up is obliterated.
--------------------
>[[Adeptus Mechanicus|Admech]] find Assholetep in stasis.<br>
>Praises him and write legends about him.<br>
>Thousands of years later they forget.<br>
>He finds records when he wakes up.<br>
>They haven't edited his page on Admechpedia in 12000 years.<br>
>All [[Forge World|forgeworlds]] in the next five sectors melted to a molten goo.
--------------------
>[[Hive world]] is under attack by 'Nids.<br>
>He sees the world being demolished and decides to help.<br>
>After a month of hard combat the 'Nids are all eradicated.<br>
>The citizens thank the lord and ask what he would like in return.<br>
>He asks for a solid gold statue of himself erected in the center of the major city.<br>
>They comply<br>
>He inspects the work and finds a .5% impurity of silver in the statue.<br>
>The hive world is now a dead world.
--------------------
>Assholetep helping a Forgeworld<br>
>One of their [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|Titan]]s steps on a single Scarab<br>
>"What do you mean an entire Titan Legion was eaten by bugs"?
--------------------
>His Tomb Ships assist a fleet based Chapter fight off some [[Dark Eldar]]<br>
>Battle Barge cuts in front of them by accident<br>
>The Space Hawk Chapter no longer exists
--------------------
>Assholetep fights a [[Khorne|Khornate]] [[daemon|daemonic]] incursion alongside the [[Space Marine Chapter|Space Marines Chapter]], the Knights Sanguine<br>
>During the fight, a member of an [[Assault Squad]] accidentally rips Assholetep's cloak with his Lightning claws<br>
>The entire Knights Sanguine chapter and their Fortress Monastery are vapourised<br>
>Every Blood Angels chapter receives a vid-capture of Assholetep in a new cloak made from the Purity Seals of the now-extinct chapter, with every mention of the Emperor crossed out and replaced with Assholetep's name<br>
>The Imperium censors it and hides all evidence, saying the Knights Sanguine were "consumed by war"<br>
--------------------
>Harvesting residents of a local [[Feral World]]<br>
>Hears Feral Child has insulted him<br>
>Entire human population besides the child is killed<br>
>The last image of a sentient creature the child sees is Assholetep mooning him
--------------------
>Assholetep is one of the few remaining Lords wearing the original attire<br>
>Always made fun of<br>
>Goes around blowing up other sleeping Tomb Worlds out of spite<br>
>Whispers "Faggots" under his breath every time
--------------------
>Assholetep meets with some Admech<br>
>They compliment him on his wonderful [[Particle Weapons#Particle Whip|Particle Whip]]<br>
>Entire Admech presence in five sectors destroyed since they confused his Staff of Light for a Particle Whip
--------------------
>All hot women in a one light year radius suddenly absent from their homes<br>
>Sweet millions-strong rave party on Assholetep's tomb world<br>
>Assholetep tries to score with the [[Hot Chicks|hottest chick]] at the party<br>
>She points out he doesn't have a penis<br>
>Thus did the Great Raveocaust begin
--------------------
>Assholetep meets [[Angron]] sometime during the 30,000s<br>
>Both end up severely pissing the other off<br>
>Angron goes on to fuck up Armageddon's shit and thus starting a game of one-upsmanship<br>
>Angron returns from the [[warp]] after one hundred years of being trapped in it, only to find Assholetep waiting for him<br>
>Angron is still unable to return from the warp.
--------------------
>[[Dark Eldar]] try to settle outside of [[Commoragh]] and bump into Assholetep<br>
>Assholetep wants them to compliment his new set of spikes<br>
>Dark Eldar call him not spiky enough<br>
>Ever since then the Dark Eldar have never tried to settle outside of Commorragh again
--------------------
"Hey, Assholetep what are you doing with that [[Tachyon Arrow|tachyon arrow]]?"

"Just trying something. Watch."

And so Assholetep shot the tachyon arrow way into the past and into the [[Emperor]]'s back, who had just finished [[Horus]] off without a scratch and would have led humanity into a new and golden age of prosperity.

What an asshole.
-------------------
>[[Silent King]] arrives at Assholetep's tomb world <br>
>Talks about saving the living and reunifining the Necrons<br>
>Forgets Assholetep's name <br>
>Tyranids are guided by an unseen force and 'om nom 50% of humanity two weeks later <br>
-------------------
>Assholetep meets some Orkz. <br>
>They make fun of his [[hat]]. <br>
>All Orkz in the sector now have their asses sewn onto their heads. <br>
-------------------
>Assholetep meets [[Cryptek]]. <br>
>Cryptek refuses to let him have a turn with his gadgets. <br>
>Science is now outlawed in the Dynasty of Dikh-Ehd. <br>
-------------------
>Butchering Dark Eldar <br>
>Dark Eldar youth throws shoe at his face. <br>
>[[Flayed Ones]], Flayed Ones everywhere! <br>
-------------------
>[[Angry Marines]] and Assholetep's destroyers get into an arguing match over who killed the most [[Tau]]. <br>
>It was a tie. <br>
>They proceeded to go to the next world to try to break the tie. <br>
>There are no more Tau.<br>
-------------------
>[[Blood Ravens]] are "gifted" wargear from Assholetep.<br>
>They found out they couldn't use it.<br>
>They return the Cryptech to him.<br>
>One has a smudge.<br>
>[[Necrons]] confirmed for [[Dawn of War III|DoWIII]].<br>
--------------------
>Wake up Assholetep.<br>
>"I could ask you for immortality, but that sounds boring, wanna go pick up some [[bitches]]"<br>
>Thus reminding him he doesn't have a penis anymore.<br>
>your death would make [[Slaanesh]]i daemons wince.<br>
--------------------
>Decides he wants a puppy.<br>
>Goes to [[Fenris]].<br>
>[[Logan Grimnar]] refuses to wear his leash.<br>
>Now we know why all of the cyber [[Fenrisian Wolf|wolves]] need replacement limbs.<br>
--------------------
>[[Imperial]] hive world in the final stages of Tyranid invasion.<br>
>Assholetep decides to intervene.<br>
>After many months, 'Nids are finally repelled.<br>
>Assholetep discovers a single human family, the sole survivors of the invasion. Not to worry though, the nightmare is over.<br>
>"Ta-da!" Assholetep proclaims proudly with jazz hands outstretched.<br>
>The ungrateful fucks keep crying anyway.<br>
>"I'm fairly sure there used to be a planet here."
--------------------
> He is engulfed in a battle where the [[Imperial Guard]] is defensing a bastion which separated a [[WAAAGH]]! from the rest of the sector. <br>
> His forces fight greenskins helping the Guard.<br>
> A Guard artillery shell almost hit him.<br>
> Somehow the Orks overrun the defenders and razed the whole sector. Unconfirmed reports claim that before the Orks breakthrough there have been sighted green lights where IG had its defensive positions. <br>

== How Others See Him ==

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I'm cleaning my necroteslagaussflayergun he comes in and is all "heh, still not as big as mine" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.

...

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I'm unfolding my Tesseract Labyrinth he comes in and is all "Funny how you can get into a toy, but not into a Necrontyr babe's pants" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. What an asshole.

...

Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm playing cards, he burns down several orphanages beats me savagely and forces me to watch an eternity of horrible rap music videos. What an asshole.

...

[[Silent King]] here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Each time We are busy being kingly silent, he shows up and goes, "Eh Your Majesty, do you know what ?" And then, after We asked "[[Wat]]", he winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Trazyn the Infinite]] here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I'm recovering relics from a fallen Tomb World he comes in and is all "heh, last night I recovered your mom" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Shadowsun|Shadowsun]] here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I'm killing aliens for the Greater Good, he's all like "Heh. You know what they say about girls who like big guns," and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Space Marine]] here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I'm purging the heretics and a battle brother dies and is all ''Hey, don't worry, he can get back u- Oh wait'' and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

Orikan the Diviner here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time the Stars are Right he comes in and is all "heh, took a Viagra huh?" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Sanguinor]], Exemplar of the [[Blood Angels|Host]] here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I'm cleansing the [[xenos]] he comes in and is all ''You know what they say about men with big swords'' and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Tau]] water caste ambassador here

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I try to tell him about joining the greater good, he pretends to be interested, wastes my time for an hour then says "The greater good? The greater shit more like" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Dark Eldar]] Incubi here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I threaten to rape and maim him hes all ''Not if i rape you first, tinydick"'' and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Eldar|Fire Dragon]] Exarch here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I go to polish my Fire Pike he comes in and is all ''"Compensating for something?"'' and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

Chapter Master Gabriel Seth here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I'm tearing a new one on some xenos he comes in and is all ''"At least my Lord's not a cripple"'' and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[The Wonderful Misadventures of: Inquisitor Fob and the Classy Marines|Classy Marine]] here;

Assholetep is such a bunghole. Every time I am subduing heretics like a gentleman, he proclaims, "Hey, gramps, the 1920's called. They want their clothing back ." And then he winks and guffaws through the entirety of the stasis chamber.

What a twat.

...

Brothar Captaen [[Indrick Boreale]] here,

Asslholetep is shuch an asslhole. Evry tim I'm dropping somme [[Steel Rain|Stehl Rehn]] he cumes in and is all "Brothar Captein Tay Zonday did it betta," and wonks and laughs all teh wey down teh stashis chamba.

Whatt an asslhole.

...

[[Draigo]] here.

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I'm leaving the warp, he comes up behind me and says 'you know what they say about burly men who dedicate all their deeds and greatest triumphs to other burly men,' and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Vindicare|Ork Sniper]] here.

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I'm aiming at renegades as my Lady Inquisitor mistress ordered me, he comes up behind me and says 'you know what they say when a man is shooting his load while furtively looking at burly muscle men in action,' and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Cato Sicarius]] here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I'm cleaning my many medals and awards, he comes up to me and says "You forgot your medal for Pederasty," and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

Gregor [[Eisenhorn]] here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I'm binding Cherubael again, he comes up to me and says "You know when a guy binds another guy" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Space Wolf]] Long Fang here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I'm combing my beard, he comes up and is all "Must be hard to get cum out of a white beard huh?" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]] here;

Adsholetep iz such an asshole. I led da greatest Waaaagh! dat da galaxy ever seen, an' he comes up an' is all "Iz ya secure in yer manhood, getting kicked off Armo-Geddun just like dat by a squishy old humie wiv a looted powerklaw an' a nice hat?" an' winks an' laughs all da way down iz hole ta nowhere.

wot an asshole.

...

Illuminor Szeas here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I am busy searching for Eldars to kidnap to do experiments to find the secret of the soul with back on Zantragora, he appears out of nowhere and says "You know what they say about men who kidnap women to experiment on" and winks and laughs all the way down the status chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Typhus]] here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. When I tried to grant him the gifts of Nurgle (murder him horribly with a disease of my own design), he says "That may have worked... if I wasn't immortal!" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

Mortarion here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I am destroying carrion-worshipping space marines he comes up and is all "ughh you disgusting moth leper!" And sprays bleach at me

What an asshole

...

Dark Angels Veteran here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm putting on my robes, he comes up and is all "Did they repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell yet?" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

Inquisitor Lord Coteaz here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Everytime I'm issuing orders to the Jokaero, he comes up and is all "ya know, Bananas are extinct hehe" and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

Necron Overlord here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. I woke up after 64 million years of slumber, and was about to take a spin in my Catacomb Command Barge, when I found out that Assholetep had modified it so that the flying base is going to break like every goddamn day.

What an asshole.

...

Lord Sorcerer Varshask of the Scourged here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. This one time I was getting ready to open a warp rift and then he shows up and goes "So you doing this, is that the warp equivalent of Goatse.cx?" And then he winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber, at which point the Lord of Change we summoned yells "JUST AS PLANNED" and the thing fucking explodes.

We never found a body, though, and you just know he's going to show up in like 4 other subsectors across 15 different timezones. Thanks a fucking bunch, Tzeentch.

Both fucking assholes.

...

Trazyn the Infinite here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. I was polishing and rearranging my relics when he shows up and goes "Hey Trazyn, you sure know how to preserve your relics. I hear you even have your own virginity locked up!" And then he winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Angry Marine]] here;

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

Norn Queen here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. I was backing up into a more comfortable spot to give birth when he shows up and goes, "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" After which he tosses a tub of Ben and Jerry's at me. *Sniff* And then he winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

Abbadon the Despoiler here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. I was preparing to go on my 14th black crusade and he shows up and goes, "going on another black crusade? better get arm insurance!" And then he winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Creed]] here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Each time I'm smoking my big black (brown) cigar to show off my contempt to the Black Legion, he shows up and goes, "Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar - Sigmund Freud" And then he winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

ASSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLEtep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

[[Salamanders|Vulkan He'stan]] here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Whenever I'm smiting the Empra's foes with my bolter he comes up and says "Why aren't you holding that sideways?" then winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

Assholetep is such an asshole. Each time I'm dressing like a catty gay hipster for a costume party on Halloween where like 3 other gay men dressed as the same obscure superhero that you never heard of, he shows up and goes, "You know when their is an easily insulted catty gay hipster at a costume party on Halloween where like 3 other gay men dressed as the same obscure superhero that you never heard of," and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber. I'm not insulted.

What an asshole.

...

[[Eldrad]] Ulthran here;

"Assholetep is a great guy. You know, for a Necrontyr. You'd like him. I already invited him to that party you're throwing, so be grateful."

What a dick.

...

[[Anrakyr the Traveller]] here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time Im fighting tyranid fleets he comes up and says "Whats the matter? Could'nt find any Blood Angels to help you?" then winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Chaos Spawn]] here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time im being wrangled he comes up and says "Hows being a Daemon Prince working out for you?" then winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

[[Trazyn the infinite]] here;

Assholetep is such an asshole. Every time I’m reapplying for citizenship of Mandragora he comes up and says "You know what they say about men who get banned from places after yanking at another man’s staff." then winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

...

<span style="color:purple">'''**[[Tyranid|Ş̧̨̛͚͓͖̫͉̮̦̭̘͕̻ͅS̵̷̴͍͔̠̘̹̀͞ͅS̵̸͓͖̝̫̣̫̗̱͖̰̗̣̼̰̣̤͟͜S̵̛̳̫̱̪̪͈͚̦͖͙̝̯̫͙ͅS̸̭͓̲̞͇̰͍͍̠͇̙̞̕͞Ş̶̠̳͚̙̣̞̯̺̭́͘͠Ś̢̰̯͇̖̩̬̯̭͈͎͞ͅ W̨̬̟̜̱̭̹̙̗͡ͅͅͅH̸̷̳̠̜̤̤͈̼̱͉̯̟̫̥̹̜͓̮̲͓͟͝Á̸͏̛͎̝̹̯̤̦͖͍͙͝ͅT̖̬͖̥͚͉͚͚̺̻͎̬͈̤͕́͞͝ ̸̞̱̹͎̝̣̱̪̘̦̠͢͠͞A҉̸̢̞̠̭̜̠͚͉̫̪̦̪͚͕͉͚͠ͅǸ̷͈̭͕̭͕͓̳ ̷͕̹̮̹͞Ą̶̨̰̳͇̝̘̝͖͚͓̲͎̰͚̞͢͢Ş͉̞͉̘̘̮̟̺͔̱̱̠͟S̛̖̖̺̼̱̮̭͈̭̞͍̱̬̪̙̻̥̯͢S̝̦̯̝̗̩͚̀S̪̗͙͎̠͚̀͘͢͟͝S̢͕͇̟͎̻̤͓̲̦͘͘Ş̴̧͎̣̺̰̫̤͙̮͖̰͕̠̭͖̬͢͟H̩̰̠̲͔͉̺͚̤̥͕̖̦̫̼̰͓̝͠ͅO̴͙̹̱̞̺̭̣̪̮̞̤̦̟͢Ḷ̸̷̝̖̜̦̟̥̲́̕͡ͅE̡͔͎̫̱̰͔̻̠͎͉̳͇̘͎͔͎͔̥̳͞]]**'''</span>

Assholetep here;

I'm such an asshole. Everyday I go and annoy someone in the galaxy, and everytime I wink and then laugh all the way down the stasis chamber.

Good times.

==Assholetep's daily routine==
6:00am:wake u- oh wait he doesn't go to sleep

6:45am:polishes body and checks for rust

7:00am:eats brea- oh wait he doesn't have breakfast

7:50am: goes to anger management class.

7:51am: blows up the company as they said he had anger issues.

7:56am:spams heritical messages to forge worlds and Terra e.g: I crippled your golden corpse with a Tachyon arrow thus making the emperor thrash in pain.

9:00am:polishes cantoptek scabs.

9:30am:throws a house party in the galleries of Solemnace, thus breaking and ruining countless treasures that could have improved the necrons.

10:10am: attempts to spray bleach all over
Mortarion calling him a filthy moth.

10:50am: Plays chess with Tzeentch

11:40am: Paints and assembles Ultramarines

12:30pm: puts a stolen Baneblade under Creed’s toilet seat while he’s off eating lunch

1pm: plays snooker with Cypher.

2:20pm:Acts like an asshole

4:30pm:Flicks random switches on the Golden Throne

5:00pm:Asks The Emperor if he’s lost weight recently

6:00pm: Calls a Hive Ship fat

7:10pm: swaps the direction signs in an Emperor-class battleship

8:00pm:

8:30pm:

9:00pm: Puts one of Slaanesh's sex toys on The Skull Throne while Khorne is taking a piss

9:01pm: Rages as Slaanesh's sex toy reminds him that he still does not have a penis

9:30pm: Sends Khorne anonymous messages asking him if he liked his new "seat".

10:00pm:

10:30pm:

11:00pm:partys hard all night

12:30am: goes to sle- oh wait he doesn't sleep

Enjoy 😉 don't do too much per person
(Please delete message after this is filled)

==Writefaggotry==
Brother-Captain Israyal Behradiam stood atop a mountain of destroyed Necron warriors, surveying the battlefield with a weary, sad eye. Across the plains, Imperial Guard, Space marine and Necron bodies carpeted the ground and burnt out husks of Leman Russ Battle Tanks and Chimeras blazed merrily in the fog of the dawn. He was alone now, for his after-battle prayers. But in the devastation, Guardsmen and Apothecaries moved throughout the corpse-strewn wasteland tending to their wounded and ensuring that the defeated Necrons were good and dead. It had been a costly battle but, thankfully, and with the Emperor’s grace, the Necrons had been defeated.
“My Emperor,” Behradiam murmured into the mist, as he began reciting the litany of victory, “I thank you this hour for the protection you have granted me in the battle past. I thank you for the victory you have delivered me and my brothers. I thank you for the strength you provided me, with which I have smited your foes.
“My Emperor, I would ask you to grant peace and safety on this world. It has seen enough horror for its time. I would ask you protect it and be its guardian and light in the darkness, watch over it and deliver it from evil.”
Behradiam fell silent, lips pressed in a thin line, still and unmoving, as he watched the silhouettes of a Guardsmen pick their way through the broken human wreckage on the ground. One Guardsman knelt beside a body and removed something from his flak jacket and laid it on the corpse.

Such waste of life, Behradiam thought. It always pained him to see the aftermath of a battle. Five hundred years of service and still he would look in the mirror after a major battle and see two or three more scars – two or three more lucky escapes – and think of those not so fortunate. Even now he could remember a Guardsman – no, a child, pressed into service to defend his home, only fifteen – screaming and crying as a Necron draped in flesh tore him apart. He knew that child’s face would join millions of others that visited him every night before his rest. Those he couldn’t save. The nameless ghosts that haunted him. He knew that when he returned to the Fortress Monastery the first thing he would do would be to have a shower – scalding hot – where his tears would be indistinguishable from the water and his despair inaudible over the hiss of steam.
“I would ask your forgiveness,” Behradiam said, forcing the words past the lump in his throat, “my Emperor, for the lives I have lost. I am not a perfect man, my Emperor, and though I try my hardest, still it is not enough.”

A single tear ran down his face, followed by another. He always chose to be alone after a battle – it did not befit a Brother-Captain to weep.
“I try so hard, my Emperor. I do this for you, my Emperor. I sent these men to their deaths for you, my Emperor. I killed them for you. I ask you forgiveness. Please. This sin weighs heavily upon me, my Emperor. Just…”
Behradiam choked down a sob.
“Just tell me I am doing a good job.”
There was a crack and a flash and, through eyes blurred with salt water, Behradiam saw the image of a Necron Lord appear in front of him. Before he could even grab for his bolter, though, the Lord had already struck. The Lord plucked the bolter from his hands and drove his staff deep into Behradiam’s gut. Behradiam was in agony. He had known that the Necron Lord could teleport – hell, the Necron lord had escaped because of that very ability. Why had he been so stupid as to go off alone? Why? Now he was going to pay the price. Any moment now, the killing blow would come. Behradiam would face his death with honour, though. He set his features – all emotions other than steely determination forgotten now.
Any moment now the killing blow would come.
To his surprise, it did not.

“You,” the Lord spoke, “are a colossal waste of space.”
The Lord twisted its staff, sending more waves of pain through Behradiam’s body. Behradiam cursed himself for his weakness – for his foolishness.
The Lord’s face didn’t move, but with his dimming consciousness Behradiam swore it seemed to exude more of a… genial, joyous air than it did a few moments ago. The Lord was revelling in this execution.
“You know, if I were your Emperor, I wouldn’t forgive you. You’re a hopeless commander, Brother Captain.”
“I still,” Behradiam gargled out past the blood in his mouth, “managed to defeat you, Xeno.”
“With a casualty rate thirty per cent higher than what I predicted you would incur, and I even factored in natural human stupidity into that. Absolutely pathetic effort, Brother Captain.”
The Lord wrenched his staff again, the pain bringing Behradiam back to consciousness as his mind began to slip.
“I heard what you said before, Brother Captain. You seem like a man who feels very guilty for his own failings. You should. You’re inability to lead and your stupid decisions got your fellow fleshsacks killed. I put more effort into keeping my soldiers alive than you do, Brother Captain, and my soldiers are mindless machines.”
For some perverse reason, Behradiam felt the need to defend himself against this Lord’s verbal onslaught. “I did – cough – my best.”
“Not good enough, fleshling. Not good enough at all.”
“Good – cough – enough to – cough – defeat you.”

The Lord did not reply. Instead a rod appeared in the hand not holding his staff that crackled with fierce green energy. The Lord hefted the rod and pressed it into Behradiam’s forehead.
Searing agony spread throughout Behradiam’s body – the like of which he had never felt before. Not even his short stint in a Dark Eldar ship’s brig had compared to this. Oh, Emperor, the pain! Still, Behradiam did not break. Even as it coursed throughout his body like lava, Behradiam did not cry out. He would endure. He would die with honour and dignity and a pile of other words, like a space marine was supposed to.
Behradiam’s mind began to spiral towards blackness. Death and pain were closing in. He could feel the end, the cold. It scared him like nothing before. Behradiam had been afraid – of Tyranids, of Chaos, of the Inquisition – but never like this. The idea of meeting his end filled him with abject terror. He knew the Emperor would not accept him – his failures had been too grievous. The pain and the fear were overwhelming.
Behradiam screamed. He screamed and screamed and the tears poured down his face and blood dribbled from his mouth. His voice carried the note of desperation.

“Emperor please, stop! STOP! STOP THE PAIN. I’LL DO ANYTHING, PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. I BEG OF YOU. EMPEROR PLEASE, WHY DO YOU ABANDON ME? I DID MY BEST! PLEASE! PLEASE!”
The screams faded and his mind began to blank and all he heard in his final moment of life was a soft “chk-rrrr” and a Necron Lord laughing.
The blackness descended and the pain faded and Behradiam was no more.
The Necron Lord withdrew his staff from the dead space marine and tried to shake off the blood.
The Lord accessed the Imperial communications grid and began to broadcast the video, forwarding the file to everybody he had listed down as one of the Brother Captain’s friends with a small message attached:
“He died like a little bitch. Pathetic.”
He even sent a copy to the Brother Captain’s family and winks and laughs all the way down the stasis chamber.

What an asshole.

== Potential Rules ==

'''Assholetep the Insufferable'''

'''Points:''' 270

'''Unit Type:''' Infantry, Independent Character

{|class='wikitable'
!WS!!BS!!S!!T!!W!!I!!A!!Ld!!Sv
|-
|5||5||5||5||3||2||3||10
|2+/4++
|}

'''Wargear:''' Phase Shiftier, Resurrection Orb, Tachyon Arrow, Original Necron Lord Garments (counts as Sempiternal Weave)

Insufferable Staff: The Insufferable Staff is a Staff of Light that also functions as a melee weapon. Melee Profile: Strength – User, AP – 2, Concussive.

'''Special rules:''' Reanimation Protocols, Ever-living

'''I Shall Taunt You'''

Every unit in melee combat against Assholetep the Insufferable or a squad containing Assholetep the Insufferable gains ‘Hatred: Assholetep the Insufferable’ in their round of combat. Any model killed in a challenge by Assholetep counts as two kill points rather than one as Assholetep degrades them for losing to him.

'''Easily Offended'''

Assholetep cannot refuse challenges. When a Model denies a challenge from Assholetep or Assholetep takes a wound (before saves are rolled), Assholetep the Insufferable and any squad he joins gains Rage, Furious charge, Preferred Enemy and Hatred against that model/that squad.

'''HUGE RAGE'''

Pick a unit at the beginning of the battle. It is Assholetep the Insufferable's favorite troop/s. If that unit takes an unsaved wound (before Reanimation Protocols) or an unsaved penetrating hit, Assholetep the Insufferable gains Rage, Hatred and Furious charge. This persists even through any Reanimation Protocols rolls. If Assholetep loses his last wound but comes back through Reanimation Protocols, unless they are already in effect he gains Rage, Furious Charge, Hatred (Everything!) and Preferred Enemy (Everything!).

== Gallery ==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Assholetep Exploitable.jpg|Oh exploitable!
Image:Assholetep asshole smile.jpg
Image:Assholetep fanart.jpg
Image:Assholetepwinkingandgrinning.jpg|Whaattt Ann assshhooollleee
</gallery>
</center>

== Links ==
*[http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16649661/#16650231 The genesis of Assholetep]
*[http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16772808/ Thread codifying the "Classic Necron Lord" model as Assholetep, with 110% more assholery]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfbK_dbsCu0 Assholetep after realizing that he no longer has a dick.]

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]] [[Category:Necrons]][[Category:/tg/ 40,000]]

Trazyn the Infinite

2021-02-13T16:24:07Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* Inner Sadness of Trazyn */

{{MattWard}}
{{Awesome}}
{{Heresy}}
[[File:Trazyn.jpg|300px|right|thumb|He's come to steal your shit! (Probably literally, if it's rare enough) And if you're (un)lucky, he might even steal you.]]
{{topquote|I welcome all... to a place in my carefully curated collection!|The kleptomaniac himself, presenting the Necron faction in Battlefleet Gothic Armada 2}}

'''Trazyn the Infinite''', also known as '''Trollzyn the [[Tarpit]] Breaker''' and '''Trazyn the Grave Robber''', or Possibly Trazyn the shiny Stealer, is the best [[Necron]] Overlord/Phaeron (while ''technically'' his title is Overlord, he has his own Overlord subordinates and rule his own little empire like Phaeron). Basically what you'll get if you combined Doctor Doom, a [[Tomb King]], a [[Blood Ravens|Bloody Magpie]] and the Terminator, with a hint of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Trazyn the Infinite, ruler of the [[Tomb World]] named Solemence (which happens to be a Dyson Sphere powered by a [[C'tan]]), is a self-proclaimed preserver of histories, artifacts and events. In his possession are technologies and relics that are so valuable as to be priceless. Amongst his collection are the fabled wraithbone choir of Altansar, one of the preserved head of [[Sebastian Thor]], the ossified husk of an Enslaver and a suit of baroque power armour, complete with the Custodes who was still wearing it. This means that he is one of only two entities in this or any other universe that rivals the stealing power of the [[Blood Ravens]] (the other being the Deffskullz.) In such a dangerous galaxy, Trazyn is loath to go out and explore it himself, but with so many exquisite artifacts to see and catalogue, he cannot afford to miss out. As a result he will send out substitutes of himself to do his dirty work. On the battlefield this can become increasingly irritating, as killing what appears to be Trazyn may simply be a [[Lychguard]] or a Necron Lord. Meanwhile, somewhere nearby, the real Trazyn is busy smashing his way through his foes to get his metal hands on his latest acquisition.

(That's how the fluff handles it; the crunch rules imply that he simply takes over the body of another Lord, Lychguard, or [[Cryptek]]. He was there; you killed him; he just ran like the troll he is. [[Butthurt|Oh, and you didn't]] [[Alpha Legion|get Slay The Warlord by the way.]] <s>Just imagine this guy politely trolling with the voice of Terl from Battlefield Earth</s> he has a voice actor now via [[Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II]], [[Lulz|who actually sounds like a mechanical version of Terl]] (though he isn't voiced by John Travolta) : "Oh, dear ! What a wonderful contingent of Imperial Guards ! I shall thank you with all my heart, General, for this marvelous gift. Please tell them to strike a nice pose while I prepare a stasis grenade...")

/tg/ has gained a fondness for him, due to his thieving ways, his Doctor Doom-esque body doubles, and his polite yet [[Troll|trollish]] attitude, he is also known for using completely self-evident aliases, which nevertheless seem to work quite well. It is generally agreed that he is one of the only good things Matt Ward has ''ever'' put into the [[fluff]].

"A war-torn city in the [[Ultramar]] system. The [[Ultramarines]], aided by an [[Imperial Guard]] regiment led by Lord Castellan Ursarkar [[Creed]], prepares to face an [[Ork]] incursion in a final battle. The Orks are numerous, but the [[Imperium]] has the upper hand, just barely, as Lord Creed's tactical genius has proven invaluable. As the Orks begin their final assault on the city, the Ultramarines ready their defenses. Creed, ever oddly silent, gazes intently at a large flagpole in the center of town, watching through binocs as the Orks' charge is funneled towards the center of the city. Suddenly, as the Orks near the square, the tip of a [[Baneblade]]'s main gun can be seen coming around the flagpole. The great tank begins to emerge from behind the thin metal object, perfectly and impossibly concealed. It begins to move into its firing arc, and a great shout is heard from the [[Warboss]] down below, just barely carrying over the rest of the din. "'''CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-'''" Suddenly, the cry cuts off in confusion, as Creed spits out his cigar. Where the Baneblade once stood, there is air, thin air. Not a trace remains of the enormous tank. It has vanished completely. Then, gradually, a green, crackling, electrical rune appears hanging in the air where the Baneblade was. It extends gracefully, for its platonic geometric form. If Creed was given to poetry, he might even say it resembled a rose. But he knew better. A rage he had felt only once before began to boil deep within, and his cry shook the world as the Orkish tide began to hack his guardsmen and the Marines to pieces. "'''TRAAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYN!'''"

==From [[Matt Ward|Ward]] Himself==
"[[Bullshit|Trazyn's also no slouch in combat.]] Whenever his empathic obliterator kills an enemy, it has a chance to kill all other enemies of the same type in the same combat - perfect for Ork mobs. This isn't so useful against characters, but that's why Trazyn also carries a clutch of mindshackle scarabs - why kill an enemy when you can take over his mind and have him kill for you...?"oh wait nope, mss are now just a useful fear test. So now the only real use you'll find for him in a duel is whacking them with a stick.

==Letter to Inquisitor Valeria==
This is the (in)famous little piece of fluff that has made Trazyn so likable to /tg/, contrasting nicely with all the grim darkness around. Do note that it is unclear whether he's fucking nuts, indulging in some elaborate trolling or even both at once.

''Dear Lady, let me express my fulsome appreciation for your most generous gift. It is so very rare to discover another of my own kind that appreciates my work, therefore to find understanding amongst a member of another race is nothing short of a revelation. I realise that you briefly trod my galleries, but the fact that you spotted in so short a time that my Acabrius War collection was lacking three regiments of Catachan warriors reveals that you truly have a collector's eye for detail. And to send five regiments! Such generosity will allow me to weed out and replace a few of the more substandard pieces in my collection. If I might level a minor criticism, the instructions issued to your gift were manifestly not as clear as you thought, as most of them had to be forcibly restrained. Sadly it seems that the lower orders will always behave like an army of invasion, whether that be their purpose or not. However, this is a minor complaint and seems almost churlish under the circumstances, so please allow me to repay your gift with one of my own. Accompanying this message is the Hyperstone Maze, one of a series of Tesseract Labyrinths constructed at the height of the Charnovokh Dynasty. It is a trinket really, only of interest to scholars such as you and I, but I trust you will find it amusing; assuming you have the wit to escape its clutches, of course.''

It should be noted that an Inquisitor can actually use a Tesseract as a relic.

==The Infinite List of Dickings==
[[File:Trazyn2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Daww]]
Trazyn is universally regarded as a <strike>[[Eldrad|huge dick]]</strike> pretty fun guy to be around due to his <strike>[[Blood Ravens|rampant kleptomania]]</strike> erudition and wit. Here is a list of his <strike>crimes</strike> many-splendored accomplishments, compiled for the <strike>warning</strike> edification of /tg/.

* Killed five invading regiments of Catachans, then turned them into [[Wargame|miniatures for his collection.]]
** Sent [[Inquisitor Valeria]] fan mail (maybe, we can't tell if he was being sarcastic in the letter) attached to an armed tesseract labyrinth [[Blood Ravens|as a reward for "gifting" him said Catachan regiments.]] Being a true gentleman, when Valeria managed to unravel said tesseract labyrinth and use it 'safely', he took it with good grace and they became pen pals of sorts... [[Grimdark|But since no good deed stays unpunished]], as of Fall of Cadia Trazyn has revealed that while Valeria became his human waifu for some time she eventually got [[blam|BLAM'med]] for consorting with xenos, hence why he releases Greyfax the Angery instead of getting Valeria to tag along (Just as planned? How about Tau start summoning daemons for battle? <strike>And maybe Orks start building their own webway</strike>They already did it using superior gravitational corridors which don't need the warp during the War of the Beast.)
* Banned from the Necron throne world of Mandragora after trying to [[Ork|loot]] [[Imotekh the Stormlord|Imotekh's]] staff.
** [[Internet_Troll|Pops in whenever he feels like it anyway.]]
* Stole Sebastian Thor's [[wat|head]]. Maybe (There's like five other museums claiming to have his skeleton; the only reason Trazyn stands out is because his Thor head is preserved in a jar, rather than a skull).
* Took the World Spirit Shrine of Carnac, an [[Exodite]] world as a trophy for helping to conquer it.
* Uses other Necron Lords as body doubles [[Internet_Troll|without telling them.]]
* Told the [[Ultramarines|greatest amongst us all]] he was old pals with [[Roboute Guilliman|Rowboat Girlyman.]] Considering that one of the pokeballs he unleashed against Chaos at the Fall of Cadia was a bunch of Ultramarines fresh from the [[Great Scouring|aftermath of the Horus Heresy]], he might be telling the truth ("old pals" by his definition, of course).
** And then informed them that maybe [[Internet_Troll|he was going to take Papa Smurf, as he'd be better off with him than in the company of the Ultramarines.]]
*** And with Rowboat coming back, [[Yvraine|somehow]], for 40k End Times, we might actually get to see how the two know each other. If they actually do. There's every possibility that [[troll|Trollzyn was just lying]].
* <s>Has a fucking PRIMARCH stored at his pad, supposedly... Possibly Vulkan according to White Dwarf.</s> Technically it's a Primarch clone, but it's still a perfect copy of the pre-Heresy Fulgrim, courtesy of [[Fabius Bile]].
*Told [[Vulkan He'stan]] he had the Song of Entropy, luring the Salamanders into a 10-year war with the Necrons. At the end of it, Trazyn pretty much said "just kidding, I don't have the Song of Entropy," as he tried to steal the Spear of Vulkan. Kind of back fired when [[Vulkan He'stan]] decided to just give him the Spear. ''Tip'' first. He'stan was pretty pissed when he learned Trazyn just jumped into another body.
** Twice.
*Invaded the Imperial planet of Midgardia and nabbed a C'tan shard of Nyadra'zatha, despite [[Logan Grimnar]]'s attempts to stop him. It's notable that he pulled this off in Logan's own codex supplement, where most other battles in the book were a resounding Space Wolf victory. To be fair, Space Wolves destroying (and thus accidentally freeing) a C'tan shard would make them look like an assholes. I mean even more assholes than they already are.
**In retribution, Logan hunted him down to another planet, Vhaloth IV, and ended up kicking Imotekh's ass instead. ([[Just As Planned]]. The dick deserved it for hanging on to his staff anyway.)
* Captured an Ork warboss and the Deathwatch kill team that was hunting said warboss, and sat them in front of each other in his collection for all eternity. And he double-checked they were both still self-aware, just to feel them suffer.
* Caught a bunch of tech priests evacuating from the necron invasion of Magogue, and set them up in stasis as a monument to that planet's fall. Notable because he pulled it off in the Skitarii codex. Trazyn's apparently the go-to guy for being able to win outside of his own codex.
* May or may not be the one pulling the strings behind the events of [[Xenology]], as probably he won't have any problems impersonating a C'tan shard.
* Has been hanging out on Cadia for who knows how long as the "man of iron" which all but confirms the pylons are necrons made.
* <strike>Steals Creed himself after the fall of Cadia.</strike> Blundered into allowing Creed to infiltrate his collection.
* Steals Papa Smurfs' (The Ultramarine bloke that can't spell Robert properly) pillow from his lumber.
* Stole an Emperor's Children's gene-seed tithe ship containing thousands of progenoids.
* Traded it for the only perfect clone of [[Fulgrim]], thus dashing the only hope of the Third Legion rebuilding itself and becoming more than a bunch of depraved sick fucks.
* Planning to add to his collection all the stuff from [[Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II]], World Engine and Hiveships included!
* Has an agent in Middle Earth Shadow of War called the Trophy Hunter. How he got there is beyond this anon's mental capabilities
* Frees an AdMech Magos and a pair of Sororitas in the short story War in the Museum to deal with an escaped Lictor and Hive Tyrant. The Sororitas were supposed to be biological sisters frozen in their last moments fighting Tyranids, but one sister was dead and [[Grimdark|used as spare parts to fix up her surviving sister]]; the other Sororitas was a stand-in taken from Goge Vandire's Brides of the Emperor (the precursor of the SoB). Trazyn goes so far as to swear on his honor he will reunite them with their Lord and not put them back in the same exhibit if they accomplish their task. True to his word, he puts them in a different exhibit...facing another called 'The Beheading of Goge Vandire'. Oddly enough, Trazyn considers the magos as something of a friend and even sends the AdMech research packets on his behalf, and decided to keep the Magos in stasis with full awareness at the Magos's request. Seems he prefers to perform his computing in peace and quiet and does not mind being part of Trazyn's collection.
* Stole [[Gorkamorka]] for his Angelis display. From The Infinite and The Divine "Trukks and buggies howled corkscrews across the display, ripping across the desert shanty town built around the enormous idol of Gork – or Mork.
* Played a practical joke on [[Orikan the Diviner]] by unleashing a genestealer on him.
** Said genestealer survived the encounter and went on to infect and raise a cult on the planet which attacked a visiting naval battlegroup [[grimdark|leading to the planet being exterminatused]].
* Played another practical joke on [[Orikan the Diviner]] by unleashing a brood of catachan devils on him.
[[File:Bfg-2-trazyn.jpg|800px|center|thumb|A man of culture always enjoys a tour for his collection...]]

==Things on Trazyn's 'Must Have' List (and how to get some of them, perhaps.)==
[[File:TrazynAndDiomedes.jpg|thumb|right|300px|There can only be one true magpie.]]
* Old One Eye's lost eye (Hire Bile to vatgrow it)
* Kartoth the Bloodhunger, both so he can say he won the game as well as rip holes to go back in time for more collecting.
* [[Abaddon]]. No, really, that's (one of) the reason(s) he came to Cadia in the first place: he wants to add the Warmaster of Chaos to his collection! (Last seen near Vigilus, should team up with the Ultramarines since the Planet Killer is coming there)
* [[Saint Celestine]]. (Go read The ''Fall of [[Cadia]]'', this is not a joke! Also, not that hard, he just kill her, keeps the body while she reincarnates somewhere else)
* A lock of the Emperor's hair (Assuming it hasn't rotted away by the time he gets to Terra). (Again, can be vatgrown by Bile in exchange of.. something)
* <s>[[Magnus the Red|Magnus the Red's]] favourite eye.</s> Magnus has agreed to provide things for his collection in exchange for being left intact
* An 8th edition Sisters of Battle codex. (done)
** An 8th edition box set of plastic sisters. Yes, he's the reason the November 2019 set sold out so early.
*Anyone atheist in Age of Sigmar, if not then a dwarf from the Kharadron Overlords will suffice.
* The [[Sanguinor]] in a stasis field.
* <s>A living Tyranid zoo (no stuffed dolls for our old collector). Would be much easier to accomplish if 'Nids didn't try to keep the fuck away from Necrons and their worlds.</s> Never mind. He gave up on this one after his specimens broke out of their exhibit and nom-med half of Solemnace. He's currently attempting to redo it on another planet near Solemnace.
* One of each type of Eldar Aspect Warrior, arranged in complementing color order.
* Each [[Phoenix Lord]], including the fallen Ahra or Drazhar (just in case he's Ahra); bonus points for the originals. Otherwise, something from them, such as one of [[Asurmen]]'s twin-linked [[Shuriken Catapult]]s or a lock of [[Jain Zar]]'s hair (bonus points for getting things from all of their incarnations).
* A signed autograph from each Primarch. (Still asking [[Orikan the Diviner|Orikan]] for "access" to his time machine so he can get one from [[Ferrus Manus]], [[Horus]], [[Sanguinius]], and [[Konrad Curze]] since they're all presently busy being dead.)
* A signed autograph from each chaos god, preferably without stains or switcharoo.
* A sweet ride so he can cruise the galaxy looking for new junk.
* The [[Baneblade#Fortress of Arrogance|Fortress of Arrogance]], preferably with [[Commissar Yarrick]] as well.
* [[Sammael|Sammael's]] Jetbike.
* A [[Pauldron|shoulder pad]] from each space marine chapter (Pre-heresy legions and post-heresy chapters all together of course, going for the complete set!)
* A Space Marine from each of the first Legions (this collection would be easily finished if not for the fact that he can't find any marines from the two missing legions).
* The two missing legions.
* [[Mary Sue|Those meddling kids - and that stupid dog!]]
* <s>A painting of one of the Emprah, Tzeentch, Cegorach, and the Deceiver's card games.</s> Creed provided him a holovid of the game that got him banned. He is content with this, And believes that Creed should be unbanned
* A circus filled with nothing but Eldar Harlequins.
* The <s>school report and childhood items</s> first set of kid-sized slave shackles of Asdrubael Vect.
* Urien Rakarth's first torture kit.
* An Avatar of Khaine. He's probably killed one, given how Geedubs keeps jobbing them, but the fact that their remains melt away and reform on the Craftworld - similar to how Necrons phase out - means Trazyn hasn't gotten one yet.
* A garage filled with one of each type of the Imperial Guard's tanks.
* A feather from Sanguinus's wings. (Dante has one in stasis)
* An Imperial Titan that has been CREEEEEEEDed.
** A snap shot of the look on Abaddon's face upon seeing aforementioned Titan in the middle of his battle line, shouting CREEEEEEEED
* Abbadon's arms. Creed hid them so well that even Trazyn is having trouble finding them.
* A matching pair of [[Angry Marine]] Powerfeet.
* A pair of a Sisters Of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties from each Order, stolen from their quarters while they are asleep. Surprisingly hard to pull off (fnar fnar), even for Trazyn.
* A set of [[Lelith Hesperax|Lelith Hesperax's]] combat attire after she's been in a fight. This is even harder to pull off than the Sisters of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties.
* One of the fingers from the Talon of Horus. (Will have to force-grip Abaddon very hard)
* Slaanesh's entire porn collection. While no planet is big enough to hold all that porn, that's what parallel dimensions are for!
* One of Ferrus Manus's hands. He isn't picky which.(Not sure if Vulkan completely destroyed it)
* An [[Imperial Knight]] from each house.
* The Panacea STC.
** And since [[Lady Malys]] got there first, anything cool she owns, as well as a selfie with her before and after she realizes he stole her stuff.
* The Eye of Horus. As in the ''actual'' Eye.(Again, Bile can make one)
* The [[Eye of Terror]] and everything in it.
* Commander [[Puretide]] and/or [[Farsight|all]] [[Shadowsun|of his]] [[Shas'O Kais|students]].
* A calm and rational [[World Eaters|World Eater]] marine.
* A clean and disease-free [[Death Guard]] marine.(Hello Nathaniel Garro)
* A [[Emperor's Children]] marine who shows restraint.(Hello Saul Tarvitz, maybe already got him that's why they never found the body?)
* <s>A live and fleshy non-sorcerer [[Thousand Sons|Thousand Son]] marine. (As of Ahriman: Unchanged, there was one of these, and as of Gathering Storm Yvraine made a dozen more before throwing them into the Warp)</s> Provided by [[Magnus The Red]] in exchange for a deck of cards
* <s>A [[Night Lords]] Marine that is actually friendly to be around.</s> Has also been provided by [[Magnus The Red]] in exchange for the same deck of cards.
* An atheist [[Word Bearers]] marine
* A [[Kharn|certain]] swell guy.
** A picture with said swell guy
* Remnants of the Inquisitorial acolyte who died of old age. Ones aged by a [[Hrud|Hrud's]] entropic field do not count.
* The Doomsday Clock from [[The Last Church]].
** <s>Also Uriah himself.</s> After finding out he’s a chaos worshiper he has changed his mind.
*The cure for the [[Red Thirst]].(Hello Rubicon Primaris, maybe)
**A photo of The Blood Angels' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them. (Bonus for [[Dante]]'s reaction with his mask off)
* The cure for the Curse of the Wulfen.(Hello again, Rubicon Primaris, maybe)
** A photo of The Space Wolves' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them. (Bonus of [[Logan Grimnar]] shaving his beard in shame)
* The right hands of [[Helbrecht]], [[Eldorath Starbane]] and anyone else who had their right hands cut off by Imotekh.
* At least one [[Jokaero]].(shouldn't be that difficult as even a Catachan team managed to got one during the Pandorax Campaign)
** And anything they make/modify.
* As many [[Catgirl|catgirls]] as possible.
** Along with a selfie with each of them.
*** And as many [[Kitsune|kitsunes]] as possible, along with selfies and a shrine to their name.
* Any 100% reliable information about Alpha Legion.
* Any 100% reliable information about Alfa Legion.
* The Blood Ravens Armoury. Since most of the above was already "gifted" to the Chapter. Not to mention there are quite a few things listed here that may be in there in the first place
* A machine to control the [[Warp]] so he can create impossible things. (Either the Golden Throne or the Tuchulcha engine may do the trick)
* A complete and unblemished cosmetic kit 'gifted' by a [[Pretty Marines]]' Company Captain, still with a wrapping bow attached. (Getting one each from both Loyalist and Chaos Pretty Marines Captains would be even better!)
* The very [[Ethereal|Ethereals]] who united the [[Tau]] race back when they were limited to only their homeworld, or their bodies...or severed heads.
* One of each type of Imperial Assassin in the position they held before trying to kill him. This wouldn't be so problematic if it wasn't for the fact that he has yet to convince the Assassinorium to send a Culexus assassin against him.
* A 1st Edition copy of the [[Codex Astartes]] with Roboute Guilliman's autograph on the dust jacket. (Guilliman probably has one)
** A 1st Edition copy of the [[Lectitio Divinatus]] with Lorgar's signature on the dust jacket to sit directly opposite the Codex. (Again Guilliman, if you are not that picky in terms of what "1st edition" means)
* A recording of Warboss [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull]] famous: "Wez gonna Waagh!"speech.
* A prison capable of holding [[Cypher]], containing the man himself.
* <s>A STC detailing how to finally have enough Dakka</s>. <span style='color:green;font-size:100%'>'''*KRUMP* HERE...HERESESS...BLOODY 'ELL WHOTEVER DAT WORD IS YOU 'UMIES KEEP SAYIN' BEFORE Y'SHOOTS STUPIDER 'UMIES!'''</span>
* <s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Warhammer Fantasy.</s> Done as he managed to get an STC of Steam with a Total Warhammer series warp-powered bunch of keys.
* <s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Lord of the Rings.</s> (Trazyn has now accomplished this according to some writefaggotry posted on fanfiction.net. Much nerd [[rage]] shall ensue. You have been warned.)
* <s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Wars.</s> (He has also accomplished this due to MORE Writefaggotry on Fanfiction.net.)
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Trek (Risky, considering the technologies in Star Trek, he just might actually end up as a collectible himself or be tracked back to his home dimension).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Mass Effect universe (Doable, but risky if he ever crosses paths with the Reapers).
* A TARDIS so he can learn the name of The Doctor (Riskier than Star Trek because of the technologies involved. Also, if anyone could track Trazyn back to his home dimension and thoroughly wreck his shit it'd be The Doctor).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Marvel Universe (main timeline).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the DC Universe (main timeline).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Halo universe ( dangerous because of Master Chief and his damn luck).
* The body of a Dwarf [[Slayer]] who died of old age.
* <s>All the NON-Grimdarkness of the 41st millennium in a bottle. So nothing in bottle then.</s> Already done.
* [[Temperus Maximus]]' Adamantium Cigar. Trazyn almost managed to loot this, but Temperus suddenly called an Orbital Strike on top of himself before this happened. Temperus' armor received minor scorch marks when the strike ended and Trazyn's body double was obliterated.
* One marine from each chapter of the cursed founding.
* A [[Death Korps of Krieg]] gas mask serial number 0000000000000000000000001.
* Names, addresses and personal phone numbers of the two unknown Primarchs.
* Cardinal Anton Fedelicus and his collected writings, which if introduced would have allowed for a very large degree of sexual freedom to have been integrated into the ecclesiarchical theology without increasing the risk of Slaaneshi corruption.
* A living [[Astral Knights|Astral Knight]].
* A "lucky" [[Lamenters]] marine (also count as one of the cursed founding collection).
* A working time travel device created by the [[Ordo Chronos]] ([[heresy|if it was ever made]]). The purpose for this device being -- you guessed it -- collect more artifacts from the past.
* His own body double in an alternative universe, if only he did not manage to turn into [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure|dimensional sponge]] in the process or lost to his alternative self in a collection contest.
* A lock of hair from each of the [[Tarkus|infamous]] [[Boreale|baldraven]] [[Diomedes|marines]].
* A "My First Assault Cannon" box set (Even better if unopened).
* A photo of the Emperor as a boy.
* As well as all of his photographic recordings scattered throughout time, whether it is rock scribble from the stone age or painting in the Renaissance Era or those Youtube video he has made back in 20XX.
* A [[Squat]].
* A living Boneripper (plenty of chance since Thanquol is still around in Age of Sigmar).
* The personal battle standard of [[Gabriel Angelos]] used at his ascension to chapter master.
** The Blood Ravens also want one of Trazyn's personal banners. Negotiations are ongoing.
* An Ogryn's 'Guardsman's Primer: Colouring Book Edition' and matching 'The Great Crayon Crusade' coloring set.
* The oldest dreadnought of each Space Marine chapter.
* [[Samus]]' armor.
* A body-pillow of [[Lolicron|Cathy]] (Original prefered)
* The Entire First and Second Seasons of "If The Emperor had a text-to-speech device" on blu-ray signed by Chapter Master Alfabusa.
* Chapter Master Alfabusa in a stasis chamber.
* Limited collectors edition of Half life 3 (After all, it's only been 38,000 years in development, maybe Valve will finish it before chaos/da WAAAAGH/the Tyranids/Imotekh's ego consumes the entire galaxy!)
* [[Sly Marbo|Sly Marbo's]] personal pistol, though not even Trazyn is willing to try and collect it.
* An actual ork sniper.
* A Butlin-Class Titan.
* The [[Men of Iron|Man of Iron]].
* <s>The Cigar Creed always chews but never smokes.</s> Acquired as part of the new Creed exhibit.
* The legs from an Imperial Sentinel (must have attachment for his own legs)
*A picture of Sigmar hugging Draconithon
* A list of names of <s>the fallen to wave at the Dark Angels</s> COMPLETELY UNRELATED TRAITOR MARINES THAT JUST LIKE WEARING BLACK AND RED AND WINGED SWORDS.
* A ham personally provided by the Ordo Draigo.
* A book borrowed from the black library with a selfie of him and Cegorach.
* A picture of himself before he turned to Necron. (just print his memories, he is an android, duh)
* The best pole dancer in the Commorragh in a stasis chamber (that was [[Yvraine]] at one point, so her).
* The best pole dancer out of all Slaanesh cultists in a stasis chamber.
* A photograph of a Cyclonic torpedo the moment it impacts the ground.
* A group photo of Thunder Warriors with Arik Taranis and the Emperor.
* An acknowledgement from GW that [[Malal]] does indeed exist.
* An actual affordable GW Warhammer 40k miniature from any faction.
* An undisputably good codex from any faction.
* [[Carlos McConnell]], or at least one of his catgirls, in a stasis chamber.
* A jar of [[Skub]].
* The book "[[Standard Template Construct]]" for dummies.
* Sensible [[Blood Angels]].
* Hairless [[Space Wolves]]. Being shaven doesn't count, the Marine has to be hairless naturally.
* A copy of Battletoads.
* The Statue of Liberty, shrunk to 10 feet size and taken from Nova Yourk hive of Merica.
* Blueprint of [[Angron]]'s Butcher's Nails.
* A WW2 Era Luger pistol, original.
* Enough Blood for the [[Khorne|Blood God]].
* <s>Enough Skulls for the Skull Throne.</s> THERE ARE NEVER ENOUGH SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE, LOYALIST SCUM!
* One of Roboute Guilliman's new [[Primaris Marines|Super Space Marines]].
* A Pokeball that can hold a C'tan.
* A living member of the Interex.
* A Picture of Eldrad and Vect trying to out-dick one another.
* An STC that has technology that will allow him to do some Dark Eldar Drugs.
* A video of Nemesor Zahndrekh putting on glasses and realizing that he is now a Skeleton Robot and the Other Necrontyr are not what they seemed to be
* An member of an Alien race the Imperium actually gets along with. (<s>Pretty damn impossible.</s> Also [[Yvraine]]; two birds, one stone)
* An Ork who can actually think. Word has it [[War of the Beast|he might need to go back in time for that...]]
* <s>DLC for Dawn of War III.</s> Got that on the same sale he got the keys for TW:WH.
* An Autograph from [[Nagash]].
* A video of Yarrick taking over the Orks. (<s>Only a Matter of time now</s> [[wat|It's mentioned in the 8E rulebook that the Orks and Humans on Armageddon formed an alliance to fight chaos, so this is pretty much canon for now.]])
* The Golden Throne. That means Trazyn is not allowed on Holy Terra.
* [[Belisarius Cawl]]. Bonus points if he collects the Alpha Primus as well.
* <s>Enough DAKKA.</s><span style='color:green;font-size:100%'>'''WUT DID WE SAY 'BOUT DAT?'''</span>
* The name and address of the Ork that keeps Dakka blocking him.
* An official GW/[[The Ninth Age]] tournament. Will require some dimensional traveling since the latter started distancing itself from being 9th Edition WHFB.
** An official WHFB tournament that uses [[Warhammer Armies Project]] rules.
* [[Farsight#The_Dawn_Blade|The Dawn Blade]].
* A clone of [[Fabius Bile]], not as an exhibit but just to make conversation with. He nearly got one if Fabius Bile didn't decide to trade him his Fulgrim clone instead.
* [[Lorgar|Lorgar's]] diary, the single largest source of [[heresy]] in the universe. He puts this one off due to the aura of discomfort that radiates from anything Lorgar has touched.
* A portal into an alternate past reality where GW doesn't constantly use the Eldar as fluffy punching bags, and where xenos factions actually get as much attention as [[Space Marine|GeeDub's poster boys.]]
* A pyrophobic [[Salamanders (Chapter)|Salamander]].
* The Emperor's text-to-speech device.
* The Emperor's left eye.
* [[Old Man Henderson|Old Man Henderson's]] gnomes.
* Old Man Henderson's player.
* All Nintendo World Championship cartridges, both regular and gold.
* One of those [[Noise Marine]] sonic guns that looks like a sweet guitar.
* A member of the Death Korps of Krieg with self-preservation instincts.
* A living [[Sensei]].
* The only known Platypus to achieve the rank of Inquisitor along with his arch-nemesis: a bumbling non-chaotic heretek pharmacist.
* A set of [[Rogue Trader]] era [[Beakie]] Armor.
*A picture of Gorkamorka turning into Gork and Mork
* The rest of the Blackstone Fortresses.
* [[Commissar Fuklaw|Commissar Fuklaw's]] cap.
* [[Cultist-chan]] in a sound-proof cell.
* A recording of Tzeentch saying [[JUST AS PLANNED]] in every known language (would've been done sooner, but Tzeentch keeps speaking in languages that he claims are created in the future or he might be making up, just to troll Trazyn).
* One of [[Dranon|Dranon's]] cigars.
* [[Ciaphas Cain]] HERO OF THE IMPERIUM's missing fingers.
* A sextape of Cain and Amberley.
* Two copies of Shadow War: Armageddon. The second one will be a backup 'Just in case' copy.
* Some [[Primaris Lieutenant|Primaris Lieutenants]]. There is so many right now nobody is gonna notice some of them go missing.
* Roboute's body pillow of Yvraine.
* Yvraine's vibrator that she got while on Ultramar.
* The [[Silent King]]'s Sanguinus mask.
* A "Miniature" of an Emperor Class Titan in regular 40k scale.
* Dio Brando with a ROAD ROLLER DAAAAA!!!
* Kitten's Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker deck.
* Kitten himself.
* A picture of Kitten and Shadowsun kissing.
* Shadowsun's bodysuit after a fight.
* [[Commissar Yarrick]]'s right arm
* Assholetep's robes. The only thing stopping is the fact that if Trazyn accomplished this, Assholetep would immediately assume it's Trazyn and wreck his collection, so Trazyn's put this on the backburner.
* Every single person who had edited this page. Don't! I'm edi--
* Some more paper and a pencil for more lists. And Lord Admiral Spire to complete his Imperial collection.
* All the Pokémons.
* A clear, accurate, unedited photograph of a Diglett's body.
* The official single extended version of the Tattered Sails Shanty signed by [[Luthor Harkon]].
* The Mona Lisa (will probably have to infiltrate the Imperial Palace).
* Evidence of [[Cypher]]'s true identity.
* A 1990s Holographic Charizard Pokémon Card.
* One Sergeant "Jinxie" Penlan, ideally in the process of tripping over something and preferably not somehow messing up half the collection because of it.
* And a partridge in a pear tree~
* An ork that doesn't want to fight
* A gretchin that's stronger than an ork
* One of the Artifacts of Vulkan.
*[[Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure|A Road Roller,Da.]]
* And some good Matt ward fluff. Besides himself. Permanently placed at the bottom of the list because even he has his limits.

==Ever-increasing Trazyn's aliases List==
*Arsène Lupin
*Pepe
*Bob The regular non-necron guardsman.
*Bob the Builder
*The Fat Controller
*Sir Toppham Hatt
*Every notable persons from your childhood
*Borris the generic soul-less warrior
*Phaeron Imothephek the Thunderboltlord.
*Onionkyr the Voyager.
*Nemesor Zahnpasta.
*The grinch
*Vanguard O'Brien.
*El Bandido Dickbag de la Muerte
*Trellsin the Singular.
*[https://youtu.be/v4Y4QBL5Fmg Bender][https://youtu.be/OWPfcEOr2Yg Bending Rodríguez]
*Necropimp
*The most fabulous Necron of them all (after he said this, Sanguinius appeared before him and told him that if he ever said the word fabulous again, he would steal everything he owns)
*Illuminor Spookyras.
*Notc'tan the Diviner.
*Sissy Rack the Loud Queen.
*Dio Brando/ZA WARUDO.
*Thanquol the (In)Competent.
*Marisa Kirisame
*Shas'O Wi A'bu.
*Inquisitor Emprah of Catachan.
*Anon Y. Mouse.
*Captain Inkoc Nito.
*Dirty Dan
*Pinhead Larry
*Winona Ryder
*The Tin White Douche
*Dean Isle.
*Kaz Miller.
*Mideer Laydee.
*Eliphas the inheritor.
*Commissar Hugh Mann.
*Korporal Dick Goesinzya.
*Canoness Ivanna Purgealot.
*High Scout Henrick Day-o-midis.
*Farsighter Loldrad Gretchinbane.
*Lord-sergeant Ultramarius Sicarius.
*Archservitor Robotnik Wilhelm.
*Warboss Ghozkull Grotstealer.
*Skitarius Ranger Alpha Stroheimus JJ-1337.
*Archon Kim Ke.
*Trashbin the incompetent
*Suede O'Niim.
*John Smith.
*Alan Smithee.
*Kyon.
*Ned Cron.
*Mouse M.D.
*Victor Domashev.
*Bernie Madoff
*Carmen Sandiego
*Lara Craft
*Master Thief
*Sir Welland Dowde
*High Admiral tankcommander Pascual.
*Techpriest 01110100 01110010 01100001 01111010 01111001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100110 01101001 01101110 01101001 01110100 01100101 00001010 .
*Gordon Freeman.
*Mr. Roboto.
*Nyzart the ending
*Nafqa.
*Sly Cooper
*The God emperor of Mankind.
*Mac Tonight.
*The G-man.
*Venom Snake.
*He-Man.
*Skeltor
*Iron Man.
*Albert Wesker
*Gabe Newell.
*SLYYYY MARBOOO!! (When Trazyn assumed this disguise, every necron in the segmentum had a Catachan Fang spontaneously appear in its skull and teleported to self repair, and the knife that appeared in Trazyn's hands had "I'll let you off this time" written on the grip."
*Big Boss Final
*Zharn the Bee Trainer
*Tray the Model Man
*[[matt_ward|Matt Ward's]] dignity
*BIg BobbyG.
*alpharius.
*not omegon.
*the London Jets
*pantheon of 40k (GW)
*Belisarius Cawl
*JOHN CENA!!!
*The Immortal Jod Emper of Space-skeletonkind
*Spartacus
*Danger Powers
*The Second Coming of Matt Ward
*Fresh Prince of Ultramar
*The King of Games
*Mr E. Man
*The real thief of the Primarchs
*Sister Superior Wendy
*Chaplin Hamburglar
*The Doctor
*Thief Khee'Bler
*Norm L. Pearson
*The Lord of the [[Squats]]
*<S>Waldo</s> Wally
*The God Emperor of Mankind
*Ol’ Funnybones
*T-8 Double Zero
*Systems model 101
*Hugh Mann
*The Necron emperor of Necronkind
*The next door neighbour who is a hoarder
* YOU THIEVING BASTARD!
*Commander Griefouz
*Our Lord and Saviour
*Generic Robot #3775123
*Trashy the Incontinent
*Jimmy Neuron
*Lieutenant Crunch
*Mor'Dakka
*Alice Turning
*Shiro The Black
*Kuro The White
*Pha'Keen Weeb
*Fabricator General ES-7C
*High Lord Servitus Tenticulus Corpuscori
*Fleet Admiral Squatbar
*Jabba Da Pump
*Canoness Phat As'h
*Sister Jhail Bate
*Inquisitor Bigideas
*Huxley
*Sigmar Freudian
*Dr.Ankh Scotchman
*Machine Spirit R2-D2
*Clifford The Big Red Murder Beast
*Big Mac
*Chaplain Charles Chaplin
*Larry The Cable Guy
*NVIDIA GeForce GTX 970 4GB GDDR5 PCI Express 3.0 Graphics Card
*Bed Bath and Beyond Store Manager
*Rick Sanchez
*Morty Sanchez
*Stupid fucking robot that keeps stealing my shit, god damn i hate this guy

==Fall of Cadia==
Oddly enough, it appears that Trazyn decided to 'aid' the Imperium in their defense of Cadia (he decided that after 60 million years it would be interesting to play the hero for once). He knows the secrets of the Pylons on Cadia, and he even releases Imperium people from his collection (represented in game by letting you deep strike units, if you take Trazyn in your Imperium army). What a great guy giving up his collection to have more space for other exotic exhibits...
Specifically he got the feeling that something was coming after the Bell of Saint Gersthal started chiming in his collection (in Necron stasis, which shouldn't have been able to happen), messing with the programs of his Tomb World, breaking a bunch of priceless and unique shit, ruining it with [[Lulz|leaking coolant]], as it rang thirteen times before ceasing. Trazyn, perhaps more befuddled than irate, but really quite put off, promptly headed off to the Celestial Orrery on Thanatos, having to explain having stolen ''their'' shit the last time he was there, just to see what the fuck was going on (but not before casting the bell into the webway, [[Troll|hoping it would be as much of a pain in the Eldar's ass as it was his]]). And what do you know, there was but the Crons' watching over the thing could do nothing about it cause they were just meant to watch over the thing, not play galactic peacekeepers (although they eventually let him in, the guards weren't happy that Trazyn was there, due to an incident where some priceless artifact mysteriously went missing the last time he visited). Thus Trazyn decided to take up the role as a savior for once (mostly because he was bored and wanted to try something other than grave-robbing), and find the source of the corruption, which happened to be the little boring world of Cadia.

Long story short, Trazyn went off to Cadia released some parts of his collection (most notably Inquisitor Greyfax, though that is mostly just because his old Pen Pal Valeria was apparently killed by another human), and helped the Imperial forces screw around with the Pylons. Which somewhat backfired to put it lightly, though not that it mattered much to him because he stopped caring about playing the hero role and figured that while he was around he could find something for his collection to commemorate such a historic moment. And while he was originally hoping to claim Abaddon for his collection, his second choice was no less impressive.

''Creed stands alone on the ruined surface of Cadia. He sees a metal giant in a scaled cloak in front of him, hand outstretched.''

''"Ursarkar E. [[Creed]] - This is not your end. Eternity Awaits"....''

His current activities are mostly unknown, but he's been tapping into his pet C'tan shard for information about the Great Rift. It's implied that he has something rather outre in mind as he doesn't want to close it but to enter it safely himself..

==Inner Sadness of Trazyn==

Despite being such a 'happy' guy Trazyn is clearly hiding many things from everyone. He laments just how stale Necron society has become, unable to make or appreciate art and music. Just like the Tomb Kings of Fantasy, Trazyn has realized that immortality and technology alone isn't enough to make life worth living

Trazyn's collection of artefacts and history is a way of him to cope with his loss of memories, of identity and a lost of purpose. That's true Grimdark there. While he likely stole them, Trazyn expresses genuine grief and outrage when Orikan destroys several historical pre-biotransference Necrontyr relics in Trazyn's galleries.

While he admires and wants to be a colleague to [[Orikan the Diviner|Orikan]], he can't help screwing him over (having kleptomancy isn't good for relationships) even when it would be disadvantageous for him and his people. Despite being a fictional alien-turned-machine, Trazyn shows just how easy and damning it can be to fall in the pitfalls of life and how it can be more depressing than death

== See Also ==

* [http://images.wikia.com/heman/images/b/bc/Skeletor.jpg Compare and contrast, comrades.]
* [http://youtu.be/jJh5PETGihs?t=10m16s Epic duel ahead.]
* [https://soundcloud.com/calvin-turner-606722642/trazyn-the-infinite An audio recording of his infamous letter.] N.B Lost in the warp, and we all know who to blame for that now don't we?
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVghX8opHJU The infamous robot magpie himself finally has a voice actor!]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT5mWEWTb6A Trazyn National Anthem]

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Xenos]]

[[Category: Necrons]]

{{Necrons-Characters}}

Trazyn the Infinite

2021-02-13T16:23:31Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* Inner Sadness of Trazyn */

{{MattWard}}
{{Awesome}}
{{Heresy}}
[[File:Trazyn.jpg|300px|right|thumb|He's come to steal your shit! (Probably literally, if it's rare enough) And if you're (un)lucky, he might even steal you.]]
{{topquote|I welcome all... to a place in my carefully curated collection!|The kleptomaniac himself, presenting the Necron faction in Battlefleet Gothic Armada 2}}

'''Trazyn the Infinite''', also known as '''Trollzyn the [[Tarpit]] Breaker''' and '''Trazyn the Grave Robber''', or Possibly Trazyn the shiny Stealer, is the best [[Necron]] Overlord/Phaeron (while ''technically'' his title is Overlord, he has his own Overlord subordinates and rule his own little empire like Phaeron). Basically what you'll get if you combined Doctor Doom, a [[Tomb King]], a [[Blood Ravens|Bloody Magpie]] and the Terminator, with a hint of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Trazyn the Infinite, ruler of the [[Tomb World]] named Solemence (which happens to be a Dyson Sphere powered by a [[C'tan]]), is a self-proclaimed preserver of histories, artifacts and events. In his possession are technologies and relics that are so valuable as to be priceless. Amongst his collection are the fabled wraithbone choir of Altansar, one of the preserved head of [[Sebastian Thor]], the ossified husk of an Enslaver and a suit of baroque power armour, complete with the Custodes who was still wearing it. This means that he is one of only two entities in this or any other universe that rivals the stealing power of the [[Blood Ravens]] (the other being the Deffskullz.) In such a dangerous galaxy, Trazyn is loath to go out and explore it himself, but with so many exquisite artifacts to see and catalogue, he cannot afford to miss out. As a result he will send out substitutes of himself to do his dirty work. On the battlefield this can become increasingly irritating, as killing what appears to be Trazyn may simply be a [[Lychguard]] or a Necron Lord. Meanwhile, somewhere nearby, the real Trazyn is busy smashing his way through his foes to get his metal hands on his latest acquisition.

(That's how the fluff handles it; the crunch rules imply that he simply takes over the body of another Lord, Lychguard, or [[Cryptek]]. He was there; you killed him; he just ran like the troll he is. [[Butthurt|Oh, and you didn't]] [[Alpha Legion|get Slay The Warlord by the way.]] <s>Just imagine this guy politely trolling with the voice of Terl from Battlefield Earth</s> he has a voice actor now via [[Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II]], [[Lulz|who actually sounds like a mechanical version of Terl]] (though he isn't voiced by John Travolta) : "Oh, dear ! What a wonderful contingent of Imperial Guards ! I shall thank you with all my heart, General, for this marvelous gift. Please tell them to strike a nice pose while I prepare a stasis grenade...")

/tg/ has gained a fondness for him, due to his thieving ways, his Doctor Doom-esque body doubles, and his polite yet [[Troll|trollish]] attitude, he is also known for using completely self-evident aliases, which nevertheless seem to work quite well. It is generally agreed that he is one of the only good things Matt Ward has ''ever'' put into the [[fluff]].

"A war-torn city in the [[Ultramar]] system. The [[Ultramarines]], aided by an [[Imperial Guard]] regiment led by Lord Castellan Ursarkar [[Creed]], prepares to face an [[Ork]] incursion in a final battle. The Orks are numerous, but the [[Imperium]] has the upper hand, just barely, as Lord Creed's tactical genius has proven invaluable. As the Orks begin their final assault on the city, the Ultramarines ready their defenses. Creed, ever oddly silent, gazes intently at a large flagpole in the center of town, watching through binocs as the Orks' charge is funneled towards the center of the city. Suddenly, as the Orks near the square, the tip of a [[Baneblade]]'s main gun can be seen coming around the flagpole. The great tank begins to emerge from behind the thin metal object, perfectly and impossibly concealed. It begins to move into its firing arc, and a great shout is heard from the [[Warboss]] down below, just barely carrying over the rest of the din. "'''CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-'''" Suddenly, the cry cuts off in confusion, as Creed spits out his cigar. Where the Baneblade once stood, there is air, thin air. Not a trace remains of the enormous tank. It has vanished completely. Then, gradually, a green, crackling, electrical rune appears hanging in the air where the Baneblade was. It extends gracefully, for its platonic geometric form. If Creed was given to poetry, he might even say it resembled a rose. But he knew better. A rage he had felt only once before began to boil deep within, and his cry shook the world as the Orkish tide began to hack his guardsmen and the Marines to pieces. "'''TRAAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYN!'''"

==From [[Matt Ward|Ward]] Himself==
"[[Bullshit|Trazyn's also no slouch in combat.]] Whenever his empathic obliterator kills an enemy, it has a chance to kill all other enemies of the same type in the same combat - perfect for Ork mobs. This isn't so useful against characters, but that's why Trazyn also carries a clutch of mindshackle scarabs - why kill an enemy when you can take over his mind and have him kill for you...?"oh wait nope, mss are now just a useful fear test. So now the only real use you'll find for him in a duel is whacking them with a stick.

==Letter to Inquisitor Valeria==
This is the (in)famous little piece of fluff that has made Trazyn so likable to /tg/, contrasting nicely with all the grim darkness around. Do note that it is unclear whether he's fucking nuts, indulging in some elaborate trolling or even both at once.

''Dear Lady, let me express my fulsome appreciation for your most generous gift. It is so very rare to discover another of my own kind that appreciates my work, therefore to find understanding amongst a member of another race is nothing short of a revelation. I realise that you briefly trod my galleries, but the fact that you spotted in so short a time that my Acabrius War collection was lacking three regiments of Catachan warriors reveals that you truly have a collector's eye for detail. And to send five regiments! Such generosity will allow me to weed out and replace a few of the more substandard pieces in my collection. If I might level a minor criticism, the instructions issued to your gift were manifestly not as clear as you thought, as most of them had to be forcibly restrained. Sadly it seems that the lower orders will always behave like an army of invasion, whether that be their purpose or not. However, this is a minor complaint and seems almost churlish under the circumstances, so please allow me to repay your gift with one of my own. Accompanying this message is the Hyperstone Maze, one of a series of Tesseract Labyrinths constructed at the height of the Charnovokh Dynasty. It is a trinket really, only of interest to scholars such as you and I, but I trust you will find it amusing; assuming you have the wit to escape its clutches, of course.''

It should be noted that an Inquisitor can actually use a Tesseract as a relic.

==The Infinite List of Dickings==
[[File:Trazyn2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Daww]]
Trazyn is universally regarded as a <strike>[[Eldrad|huge dick]]</strike> pretty fun guy to be around due to his <strike>[[Blood Ravens|rampant kleptomania]]</strike> erudition and wit. Here is a list of his <strike>crimes</strike> many-splendored accomplishments, compiled for the <strike>warning</strike> edification of /tg/.

* Killed five invading regiments of Catachans, then turned them into [[Wargame|miniatures for his collection.]]
** Sent [[Inquisitor Valeria]] fan mail (maybe, we can't tell if he was being sarcastic in the letter) attached to an armed tesseract labyrinth [[Blood Ravens|as a reward for "gifting" him said Catachan regiments.]] Being a true gentleman, when Valeria managed to unravel said tesseract labyrinth and use it 'safely', he took it with good grace and they became pen pals of sorts... [[Grimdark|But since no good deed stays unpunished]], as of Fall of Cadia Trazyn has revealed that while Valeria became his human waifu for some time she eventually got [[blam|BLAM'med]] for consorting with xenos, hence why he releases Greyfax the Angery instead of getting Valeria to tag along (Just as planned? How about Tau start summoning daemons for battle? <strike>And maybe Orks start building their own webway</strike>They already did it using superior gravitational corridors which don't need the warp during the War of the Beast.)
* Banned from the Necron throne world of Mandragora after trying to [[Ork|loot]] [[Imotekh the Stormlord|Imotekh's]] staff.
** [[Internet_Troll|Pops in whenever he feels like it anyway.]]
* Stole Sebastian Thor's [[wat|head]]. Maybe (There's like five other museums claiming to have his skeleton; the only reason Trazyn stands out is because his Thor head is preserved in a jar, rather than a skull).
* Took the World Spirit Shrine of Carnac, an [[Exodite]] world as a trophy for helping to conquer it.
* Uses other Necron Lords as body doubles [[Internet_Troll|without telling them.]]
* Told the [[Ultramarines|greatest amongst us all]] he was old pals with [[Roboute Guilliman|Rowboat Girlyman.]] Considering that one of the pokeballs he unleashed against Chaos at the Fall of Cadia was a bunch of Ultramarines fresh from the [[Great Scouring|aftermath of the Horus Heresy]], he might be telling the truth ("old pals" by his definition, of course).
** And then informed them that maybe [[Internet_Troll|he was going to take Papa Smurf, as he'd be better off with him than in the company of the Ultramarines.]]
*** And with Rowboat coming back, [[Yvraine|somehow]], for 40k End Times, we might actually get to see how the two know each other. If they actually do. There's every possibility that [[troll|Trollzyn was just lying]].
* <s>Has a fucking PRIMARCH stored at his pad, supposedly... Possibly Vulkan according to White Dwarf.</s> Technically it's a Primarch clone, but it's still a perfect copy of the pre-Heresy Fulgrim, courtesy of [[Fabius Bile]].
*Told [[Vulkan He'stan]] he had the Song of Entropy, luring the Salamanders into a 10-year war with the Necrons. At the end of it, Trazyn pretty much said "just kidding, I don't have the Song of Entropy," as he tried to steal the Spear of Vulkan. Kind of back fired when [[Vulkan He'stan]] decided to just give him the Spear. ''Tip'' first. He'stan was pretty pissed when he learned Trazyn just jumped into another body.
** Twice.
*Invaded the Imperial planet of Midgardia and nabbed a C'tan shard of Nyadra'zatha, despite [[Logan Grimnar]]'s attempts to stop him. It's notable that he pulled this off in Logan's own codex supplement, where most other battles in the book were a resounding Space Wolf victory. To be fair, Space Wolves destroying (and thus accidentally freeing) a C'tan shard would make them look like an assholes. I mean even more assholes than they already are.
**In retribution, Logan hunted him down to another planet, Vhaloth IV, and ended up kicking Imotekh's ass instead. ([[Just As Planned]]. The dick deserved it for hanging on to his staff anyway.)
* Captured an Ork warboss and the Deathwatch kill team that was hunting said warboss, and sat them in front of each other in his collection for all eternity. And he double-checked they were both still self-aware, just to feel them suffer.
* Caught a bunch of tech priests evacuating from the necron invasion of Magogue, and set them up in stasis as a monument to that planet's fall. Notable because he pulled it off in the Skitarii codex. Trazyn's apparently the go-to guy for being able to win outside of his own codex.
* May or may not be the one pulling the strings behind the events of [[Xenology]], as probably he won't have any problems impersonating a C'tan shard.
* Has been hanging out on Cadia for who knows how long as the "man of iron" which all but confirms the pylons are necrons made.
* <strike>Steals Creed himself after the fall of Cadia.</strike> Blundered into allowing Creed to infiltrate his collection.
* Steals Papa Smurfs' (The Ultramarine bloke that can't spell Robert properly) pillow from his lumber.
* Stole an Emperor's Children's gene-seed tithe ship containing thousands of progenoids.
* Traded it for the only perfect clone of [[Fulgrim]], thus dashing the only hope of the Third Legion rebuilding itself and becoming more than a bunch of depraved sick fucks.
* Planning to add to his collection all the stuff from [[Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II]], World Engine and Hiveships included!
* Has an agent in Middle Earth Shadow of War called the Trophy Hunter. How he got there is beyond this anon's mental capabilities
* Frees an AdMech Magos and a pair of Sororitas in the short story War in the Museum to deal with an escaped Lictor and Hive Tyrant. The Sororitas were supposed to be biological sisters frozen in their last moments fighting Tyranids, but one sister was dead and [[Grimdark|used as spare parts to fix up her surviving sister]]; the other Sororitas was a stand-in taken from Goge Vandire's Brides of the Emperor (the precursor of the SoB). Trazyn goes so far as to swear on his honor he will reunite them with their Lord and not put them back in the same exhibit if they accomplish their task. True to his word, he puts them in a different exhibit...facing another called 'The Beheading of Goge Vandire'. Oddly enough, Trazyn considers the magos as something of a friend and even sends the AdMech research packets on his behalf, and decided to keep the Magos in stasis with full awareness at the Magos's request. Seems he prefers to perform his computing in peace and quiet and does not mind being part of Trazyn's collection.
* Stole [[Gorkamorka]] for his Angelis display. From The Infinite and The Divine "Trukks and buggies howled corkscrews across the display, ripping across the desert shanty town built around the enormous idol of Gork – or Mork.
* Played a practical joke on [[Orikan the Diviner]] by unleashing a genestealer on him.
** Said genestealer survived the encounter and went on to infect and raise a cult on the planet which attacked a visiting naval battlegroup [[grimdark|leading to the planet being exterminatused]].
* Played another practical joke on [[Orikan the Diviner]] by unleashing a brood of catachan devils on him.
[[File:Bfg-2-trazyn.jpg|800px|center|thumb|A man of culture always enjoys a tour for his collection...]]

==Things on Trazyn's 'Must Have' List (and how to get some of them, perhaps.)==
[[File:TrazynAndDiomedes.jpg|thumb|right|300px|There can only be one true magpie.]]
* Old One Eye's lost eye (Hire Bile to vatgrow it)
* Kartoth the Bloodhunger, both so he can say he won the game as well as rip holes to go back in time for more collecting.
* [[Abaddon]]. No, really, that's (one of) the reason(s) he came to Cadia in the first place: he wants to add the Warmaster of Chaos to his collection! (Last seen near Vigilus, should team up with the Ultramarines since the Planet Killer is coming there)
* [[Saint Celestine]]. (Go read The ''Fall of [[Cadia]]'', this is not a joke! Also, not that hard, he just kill her, keeps the body while she reincarnates somewhere else)
* A lock of the Emperor's hair (Assuming it hasn't rotted away by the time he gets to Terra). (Again, can be vatgrown by Bile in exchange of.. something)
* <s>[[Magnus the Red|Magnus the Red's]] favourite eye.</s> Magnus has agreed to provide things for his collection in exchange for being left intact
* An 8th edition Sisters of Battle codex. (done)
** An 8th edition box set of plastic sisters. Yes, he's the reason the November 2019 set sold out so early.
*Anyone atheist in Age of Sigmar, if not then a dwarf from the Kharadron Overlords will suffice.
* The [[Sanguinor]] in a stasis field.
* <s>A living Tyranid zoo (no stuffed dolls for our old collector). Would be much easier to accomplish if 'Nids didn't try to keep the fuck away from Necrons and their worlds.</s> Never mind. He gave up on this one after his specimens broke out of their exhibit and nom-med half of Solemnace. He's currently attempting to redo it on another planet near Solemnace.
* One of each type of Eldar Aspect Warrior, arranged in complementing color order.
* Each [[Phoenix Lord]], including the fallen Ahra or Drazhar (just in case he's Ahra); bonus points for the originals. Otherwise, something from them, such as one of [[Asurmen]]'s twin-linked [[Shuriken Catapult]]s or a lock of [[Jain Zar]]'s hair (bonus points for getting things from all of their incarnations).
* A signed autograph from each Primarch. (Still asking [[Orikan the Diviner|Orikan]] for "access" to his time machine so he can get one from [[Ferrus Manus]], [[Horus]], [[Sanguinius]], and [[Konrad Curze]] since they're all presently busy being dead.)
* A signed autograph from each chaos god, preferably without stains or switcharoo.
* A sweet ride so he can cruise the galaxy looking for new junk.
* The [[Baneblade#Fortress of Arrogance|Fortress of Arrogance]], preferably with [[Commissar Yarrick]] as well.
* [[Sammael|Sammael's]] Jetbike.
* A [[Pauldron|shoulder pad]] from each space marine chapter (Pre-heresy legions and post-heresy chapters all together of course, going for the complete set!)
* A Space Marine from each of the first Legions (this collection would be easily finished if not for the fact that he can't find any marines from the two missing legions).
* The two missing legions.
* [[Mary Sue|Those meddling kids - and that stupid dog!]]
* <s>A painting of one of the Emprah, Tzeentch, Cegorach, and the Deceiver's card games.</s> Creed provided him a holovid of the game that got him banned. He is content with this, And believes that Creed should be unbanned
* A circus filled with nothing but Eldar Harlequins.
* The <s>school report and childhood items</s> first set of kid-sized slave shackles of Asdrubael Vect.
* Urien Rakarth's first torture kit.
* An Avatar of Khaine. He's probably killed one, given how Geedubs keeps jobbing them, but the fact that their remains melt away and reform on the Craftworld - similar to how Necrons phase out - means Trazyn hasn't gotten one yet.
* A garage filled with one of each type of the Imperial Guard's tanks.
* A feather from Sanguinus's wings. (Dante has one in stasis)
* An Imperial Titan that has been CREEEEEEEDed.
** A snap shot of the look on Abaddon's face upon seeing aforementioned Titan in the middle of his battle line, shouting CREEEEEEEED
* Abbadon's arms. Creed hid them so well that even Trazyn is having trouble finding them.
* A matching pair of [[Angry Marine]] Powerfeet.
* A pair of a Sisters Of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties from each Order, stolen from their quarters while they are asleep. Surprisingly hard to pull off (fnar fnar), even for Trazyn.
* A set of [[Lelith Hesperax|Lelith Hesperax's]] combat attire after she's been in a fight. This is even harder to pull off than the Sisters of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties.
* One of the fingers from the Talon of Horus. (Will have to force-grip Abaddon very hard)
* Slaanesh's entire porn collection. While no planet is big enough to hold all that porn, that's what parallel dimensions are for!
* One of Ferrus Manus's hands. He isn't picky which.(Not sure if Vulkan completely destroyed it)
* An [[Imperial Knight]] from each house.
* The Panacea STC.
** And since [[Lady Malys]] got there first, anything cool she owns, as well as a selfie with her before and after she realizes he stole her stuff.
* The Eye of Horus. As in the ''actual'' Eye.(Again, Bile can make one)
* The [[Eye of Terror]] and everything in it.
* Commander [[Puretide]] and/or [[Farsight|all]] [[Shadowsun|of his]] [[Shas'O Kais|students]].
* A calm and rational [[World Eaters|World Eater]] marine.
* A clean and disease-free [[Death Guard]] marine.(Hello Nathaniel Garro)
* A [[Emperor's Children]] marine who shows restraint.(Hello Saul Tarvitz, maybe already got him that's why they never found the body?)
* <s>A live and fleshy non-sorcerer [[Thousand Sons|Thousand Son]] marine. (As of Ahriman: Unchanged, there was one of these, and as of Gathering Storm Yvraine made a dozen more before throwing them into the Warp)</s> Provided by [[Magnus The Red]] in exchange for a deck of cards
* <s>A [[Night Lords]] Marine that is actually friendly to be around.</s> Has also been provided by [[Magnus The Red]] in exchange for the same deck of cards.
* An atheist [[Word Bearers]] marine
* A [[Kharn|certain]] swell guy.
** A picture with said swell guy
* Remnants of the Inquisitorial acolyte who died of old age. Ones aged by a [[Hrud|Hrud's]] entropic field do not count.
* The Doomsday Clock from [[The Last Church]].
** <s>Also Uriah himself.</s> After finding out he’s a chaos worshiper he has changed his mind.
*The cure for the [[Red Thirst]].(Hello Rubicon Primaris, maybe)
**A photo of The Blood Angels' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them. (Bonus for [[Dante]]'s reaction with his mask off)
* The cure for the Curse of the Wulfen.(Hello again, Rubicon Primaris, maybe)
** A photo of The Space Wolves' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them. (Bonus of [[Logan Grimnar]] shaving his beard in shame)
* The right hands of [[Helbrecht]], [[Eldorath Starbane]] and anyone else who had their right hands cut off by Imotekh.
* At least one [[Jokaero]].(shouldn't be that difficult as even a Catachan team managed to got one during the Pandorax Campaign)
** And anything they make/modify.
* As many [[Catgirl|catgirls]] as possible.
** Along with a selfie with each of them.
*** And as many [[Kitsune|kitsunes]] as possible, along with selfies and a shrine to their name.
* Any 100% reliable information about Alpha Legion.
* Any 100% reliable information about Alfa Legion.
* The Blood Ravens Armoury. Since most of the above was already "gifted" to the Chapter. Not to mention there are quite a few things listed here that may be in there in the first place
* A machine to control the [[Warp]] so he can create impossible things. (Either the Golden Throne or the Tuchulcha engine may do the trick)
* A complete and unblemished cosmetic kit 'gifted' by a [[Pretty Marines]]' Company Captain, still with a wrapping bow attached. (Getting one each from both Loyalist and Chaos Pretty Marines Captains would be even better!)
* The very [[Ethereal|Ethereals]] who united the [[Tau]] race back when they were limited to only their homeworld, or their bodies...or severed heads.
* One of each type of Imperial Assassin in the position they held before trying to kill him. This wouldn't be so problematic if it wasn't for the fact that he has yet to convince the Assassinorium to send a Culexus assassin against him.
* A 1st Edition copy of the [[Codex Astartes]] with Roboute Guilliman's autograph on the dust jacket. (Guilliman probably has one)
** A 1st Edition copy of the [[Lectitio Divinatus]] with Lorgar's signature on the dust jacket to sit directly opposite the Codex. (Again Guilliman, if you are not that picky in terms of what "1st edition" means)
* A recording of Warboss [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull]] famous: "Wez gonna Waagh!"speech.
* A prison capable of holding [[Cypher]], containing the man himself.
* <s>A STC detailing how to finally have enough Dakka</s>. <span style='color:green;font-size:100%'>'''*KRUMP* HERE...HERESESS...BLOODY 'ELL WHOTEVER DAT WORD IS YOU 'UMIES KEEP SAYIN' BEFORE Y'SHOOTS STUPIDER 'UMIES!'''</span>
* <s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Warhammer Fantasy.</s> Done as he managed to get an STC of Steam with a Total Warhammer series warp-powered bunch of keys.
* <s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Lord of the Rings.</s> (Trazyn has now accomplished this according to some writefaggotry posted on fanfiction.net. Much nerd [[rage]] shall ensue. You have been warned.)
* <s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Wars.</s> (He has also accomplished this due to MORE Writefaggotry on Fanfiction.net.)
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Trek (Risky, considering the technologies in Star Trek, he just might actually end up as a collectible himself or be tracked back to his home dimension).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Mass Effect universe (Doable, but risky if he ever crosses paths with the Reapers).
* A TARDIS so he can learn the name of The Doctor (Riskier than Star Trek because of the technologies involved. Also, if anyone could track Trazyn back to his home dimension and thoroughly wreck his shit it'd be The Doctor).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Marvel Universe (main timeline).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the DC Universe (main timeline).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Halo universe ( dangerous because of Master Chief and his damn luck).
* The body of a Dwarf [[Slayer]] who died of old age.
* <s>All the NON-Grimdarkness of the 41st millennium in a bottle. So nothing in bottle then.</s> Already done.
* [[Temperus Maximus]]' Adamantium Cigar. Trazyn almost managed to loot this, but Temperus suddenly called an Orbital Strike on top of himself before this happened. Temperus' armor received minor scorch marks when the strike ended and Trazyn's body double was obliterated.
* One marine from each chapter of the cursed founding.
* A [[Death Korps of Krieg]] gas mask serial number 0000000000000000000000001.
* Names, addresses and personal phone numbers of the two unknown Primarchs.
* Cardinal Anton Fedelicus and his collected writings, which if introduced would have allowed for a very large degree of sexual freedom to have been integrated into the ecclesiarchical theology without increasing the risk of Slaaneshi corruption.
* A living [[Astral Knights|Astral Knight]].
* A "lucky" [[Lamenters]] marine (also count as one of the cursed founding collection).
* A working time travel device created by the [[Ordo Chronos]] ([[heresy|if it was ever made]]). The purpose for this device being -- you guessed it -- collect more artifacts from the past.
* His own body double in an alternative universe, if only he did not manage to turn into [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure|dimensional sponge]] in the process or lost to his alternative self in a collection contest.
* A lock of hair from each of the [[Tarkus|infamous]] [[Boreale|baldraven]] [[Diomedes|marines]].
* A "My First Assault Cannon" box set (Even better if unopened).
* A photo of the Emperor as a boy.
* As well as all of his photographic recordings scattered throughout time, whether it is rock scribble from the stone age or painting in the Renaissance Era or those Youtube video he has made back in 20XX.
* A [[Squat]].
* A living Boneripper (plenty of chance since Thanquol is still around in Age of Sigmar).
* The personal battle standard of [[Gabriel Angelos]] used at his ascension to chapter master.
** The Blood Ravens also want one of Trazyn's personal banners. Negotiations are ongoing.
* An Ogryn's 'Guardsman's Primer: Colouring Book Edition' and matching 'The Great Crayon Crusade' coloring set.
* The oldest dreadnought of each Space Marine chapter.
* [[Samus]]' armor.
* A body-pillow of [[Lolicron|Cathy]] (Original prefered)
* The Entire First and Second Seasons of "If The Emperor had a text-to-speech device" on blu-ray signed by Chapter Master Alfabusa.
* Chapter Master Alfabusa in a stasis chamber.
* Limited collectors edition of Half life 3 (After all, it's only been 38,000 years in development, maybe Valve will finish it before chaos/da WAAAAGH/the Tyranids/Imotekh's ego consumes the entire galaxy!)
* [[Sly Marbo|Sly Marbo's]] personal pistol, though not even Trazyn is willing to try and collect it.
* An actual ork sniper.
* A Butlin-Class Titan.
* The [[Men of Iron|Man of Iron]].
* <s>The Cigar Creed always chews but never smokes.</s> Acquired as part of the new Creed exhibit.
* The legs from an Imperial Sentinel (must have attachment for his own legs)
*A picture of Sigmar hugging Draconithon
* A list of names of <s>the fallen to wave at the Dark Angels</s> COMPLETELY UNRELATED TRAITOR MARINES THAT JUST LIKE WEARING BLACK AND RED AND WINGED SWORDS.
* A ham personally provided by the Ordo Draigo.
* A book borrowed from the black library with a selfie of him and Cegorach.
* A picture of himself before he turned to Necron. (just print his memories, he is an android, duh)
* The best pole dancer in the Commorragh in a stasis chamber (that was [[Yvraine]] at one point, so her).
* The best pole dancer out of all Slaanesh cultists in a stasis chamber.
* A photograph of a Cyclonic torpedo the moment it impacts the ground.
* A group photo of Thunder Warriors with Arik Taranis and the Emperor.
* An acknowledgement from GW that [[Malal]] does indeed exist.
* An actual affordable GW Warhammer 40k miniature from any faction.
* An undisputably good codex from any faction.
* [[Carlos McConnell]], or at least one of his catgirls, in a stasis chamber.
* A jar of [[Skub]].
* The book "[[Standard Template Construct]]" for dummies.
* Sensible [[Blood Angels]].
* Hairless [[Space Wolves]]. Being shaven doesn't count, the Marine has to be hairless naturally.
* A copy of Battletoads.
* The Statue of Liberty, shrunk to 10 feet size and taken from Nova Yourk hive of Merica.
* Blueprint of [[Angron]]'s Butcher's Nails.
* A WW2 Era Luger pistol, original.
* Enough Blood for the [[Khorne|Blood God]].
* <s>Enough Skulls for the Skull Throne.</s> THERE ARE NEVER ENOUGH SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE, LOYALIST SCUM!
* One of Roboute Guilliman's new [[Primaris Marines|Super Space Marines]].
* A Pokeball that can hold a C'tan.
* A living member of the Interex.
* A Picture of Eldrad and Vect trying to out-dick one another.
* An STC that has technology that will allow him to do some Dark Eldar Drugs.
* A video of Nemesor Zahndrekh putting on glasses and realizing that he is now a Skeleton Robot and the Other Necrontyr are not what they seemed to be
* An member of an Alien race the Imperium actually gets along with. (<s>Pretty damn impossible.</s> Also [[Yvraine]]; two birds, one stone)
* An Ork who can actually think. Word has it [[War of the Beast|he might need to go back in time for that...]]
* <s>DLC for Dawn of War III.</s> Got that on the same sale he got the keys for TW:WH.
* An Autograph from [[Nagash]].
* A video of Yarrick taking over the Orks. (<s>Only a Matter of time now</s> [[wat|It's mentioned in the 8E rulebook that the Orks and Humans on Armageddon formed an alliance to fight chaos, so this is pretty much canon for now.]])
* The Golden Throne. That means Trazyn is not allowed on Holy Terra.
* [[Belisarius Cawl]]. Bonus points if he collects the Alpha Primus as well.
* <s>Enough DAKKA.</s><span style='color:green;font-size:100%'>'''WUT DID WE SAY 'BOUT DAT?'''</span>
* The name and address of the Ork that keeps Dakka blocking him.
* An official GW/[[The Ninth Age]] tournament. Will require some dimensional traveling since the latter started distancing itself from being 9th Edition WHFB.
** An official WHFB tournament that uses [[Warhammer Armies Project]] rules.
* [[Farsight#The_Dawn_Blade|The Dawn Blade]].
* A clone of [[Fabius Bile]], not as an exhibit but just to make conversation with. He nearly got one if Fabius Bile didn't decide to trade him his Fulgrim clone instead.
* [[Lorgar|Lorgar's]] diary, the single largest source of [[heresy]] in the universe. He puts this one off due to the aura of discomfort that radiates from anything Lorgar has touched.
* A portal into an alternate past reality where GW doesn't constantly use the Eldar as fluffy punching bags, and where xenos factions actually get as much attention as [[Space Marine|GeeDub's poster boys.]]
* A pyrophobic [[Salamanders (Chapter)|Salamander]].
* The Emperor's text-to-speech device.
* The Emperor's left eye.
* [[Old Man Henderson|Old Man Henderson's]] gnomes.
* Old Man Henderson's player.
* All Nintendo World Championship cartridges, both regular and gold.
* One of those [[Noise Marine]] sonic guns that looks like a sweet guitar.
* A member of the Death Korps of Krieg with self-preservation instincts.
* A living [[Sensei]].
* The only known Platypus to achieve the rank of Inquisitor along with his arch-nemesis: a bumbling non-chaotic heretek pharmacist.
* A set of [[Rogue Trader]] era [[Beakie]] Armor.
*A picture of Gorkamorka turning into Gork and Mork
* The rest of the Blackstone Fortresses.
* [[Commissar Fuklaw|Commissar Fuklaw's]] cap.
* [[Cultist-chan]] in a sound-proof cell.
* A recording of Tzeentch saying [[JUST AS PLANNED]] in every known language (would've been done sooner, but Tzeentch keeps speaking in languages that he claims are created in the future or he might be making up, just to troll Trazyn).
* One of [[Dranon|Dranon's]] cigars.
* [[Ciaphas Cain]] HERO OF THE IMPERIUM's missing fingers.
* A sextape of Cain and Amberley.
* Two copies of Shadow War: Armageddon. The second one will be a backup 'Just in case' copy.
* Some [[Primaris Lieutenant|Primaris Lieutenants]]. There is so many right now nobody is gonna notice some of them go missing.
* Roboute's body pillow of Yvraine.
* Yvraine's vibrator that she got while on Ultramar.
* The [[Silent King]]'s Sanguinus mask.
* A "Miniature" of an Emperor Class Titan in regular 40k scale.
* Dio Brando with a ROAD ROLLER DAAAAA!!!
* Kitten's Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker deck.
* Kitten himself.
* A picture of Kitten and Shadowsun kissing.
* Shadowsun's bodysuit after a fight.
* [[Commissar Yarrick]]'s right arm
* Assholetep's robes. The only thing stopping is the fact that if Trazyn accomplished this, Assholetep would immediately assume it's Trazyn and wreck his collection, so Trazyn's put this on the backburner.
* Every single person who had edited this page. Don't! I'm edi--
* Some more paper and a pencil for more lists. And Lord Admiral Spire to complete his Imperial collection.
* All the Pokémons.
* A clear, accurate, unedited photograph of a Diglett's body.
* The official single extended version of the Tattered Sails Shanty signed by [[Luthor Harkon]].
* The Mona Lisa (will probably have to infiltrate the Imperial Palace).
* Evidence of [[Cypher]]'s true identity.
* A 1990s Holographic Charizard Pokémon Card.
* One Sergeant "Jinxie" Penlan, ideally in the process of tripping over something and preferably not somehow messing up half the collection because of it.
* And a partridge in a pear tree~
* An ork that doesn't want to fight
* A gretchin that's stronger than an ork
* One of the Artifacts of Vulkan.
*[[Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure|A Road Roller,Da.]]
* And some good Matt ward fluff. Besides himself. Permanently placed at the bottom of the list because even he has his limits.

==Ever-increasing Trazyn's aliases List==
*Arsène Lupin
*Pepe
*Bob The regular non-necron guardsman.
*Bob the Builder
*The Fat Controller
*Sir Toppham Hatt
*Every notable persons from your childhood
*Borris the generic soul-less warrior
*Phaeron Imothephek the Thunderboltlord.
*Onionkyr the Voyager.
*Nemesor Zahnpasta.
*The grinch
*Vanguard O'Brien.
*El Bandido Dickbag de la Muerte
*Trellsin the Singular.
*[https://youtu.be/v4Y4QBL5Fmg Bender][https://youtu.be/OWPfcEOr2Yg Bending Rodríguez]
*Necropimp
*The most fabulous Necron of them all (after he said this, Sanguinius appeared before him and told him that if he ever said the word fabulous again, he would steal everything he owns)
*Illuminor Spookyras.
*Notc'tan the Diviner.
*Sissy Rack the Loud Queen.
*Dio Brando/ZA WARUDO.
*Thanquol the (In)Competent.
*Marisa Kirisame
*Shas'O Wi A'bu.
*Inquisitor Emprah of Catachan.
*Anon Y. Mouse.
*Captain Inkoc Nito.
*Dirty Dan
*Pinhead Larry
*Winona Ryder
*The Tin White Douche
*Dean Isle.
*Kaz Miller.
*Mideer Laydee.
*Eliphas the inheritor.
*Commissar Hugh Mann.
*Korporal Dick Goesinzya.
*Canoness Ivanna Purgealot.
*High Scout Henrick Day-o-midis.
*Farsighter Loldrad Gretchinbane.
*Lord-sergeant Ultramarius Sicarius.
*Archservitor Robotnik Wilhelm.
*Warboss Ghozkull Grotstealer.
*Skitarius Ranger Alpha Stroheimus JJ-1337.
*Archon Kim Ke.
*Trashbin the incompetent
*Suede O'Niim.
*John Smith.
*Alan Smithee.
*Kyon.
*Ned Cron.
*Mouse M.D.
*Victor Domashev.
*Bernie Madoff
*Carmen Sandiego
*Lara Craft
*Master Thief
*Sir Welland Dowde
*High Admiral tankcommander Pascual.
*Techpriest 01110100 01110010 01100001 01111010 01111001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100110 01101001 01101110 01101001 01110100 01100101 00001010 .
*Gordon Freeman.
*Mr. Roboto.
*Nyzart the ending
*Nafqa.
*Sly Cooper
*The God emperor of Mankind.
*Mac Tonight.
*The G-man.
*Venom Snake.
*He-Man.
*Skeltor
*Iron Man.
*Albert Wesker
*Gabe Newell.
*SLYYYY MARBOOO!! (When Trazyn assumed this disguise, every necron in the segmentum had a Catachan Fang spontaneously appear in its skull and teleported to self repair, and the knife that appeared in Trazyn's hands had "I'll let you off this time" written on the grip."
*Big Boss Final
*Zharn the Bee Trainer
*Tray the Model Man
*[[matt_ward|Matt Ward's]] dignity
*BIg BobbyG.
*alpharius.
*not omegon.
*the London Jets
*pantheon of 40k (GW)
*Belisarius Cawl
*JOHN CENA!!!
*The Immortal Jod Emper of Space-skeletonkind
*Spartacus
*Danger Powers
*The Second Coming of Matt Ward
*Fresh Prince of Ultramar
*The King of Games
*Mr E. Man
*The real thief of the Primarchs
*Sister Superior Wendy
*Chaplin Hamburglar
*The Doctor
*Thief Khee'Bler
*Norm L. Pearson
*The Lord of the [[Squats]]
*<S>Waldo</s> Wally
*The God Emperor of Mankind
*Ol’ Funnybones
*T-8 Double Zero
*Systems model 101
*Hugh Mann
*The Necron emperor of Necronkind
*The next door neighbour who is a hoarder
* YOU THIEVING BASTARD!
*Commander Griefouz
*Our Lord and Saviour
*Generic Robot #3775123
*Trashy the Incontinent
*Jimmy Neuron
*Lieutenant Crunch
*Mor'Dakka
*Alice Turning
*Shiro The Black
*Kuro The White
*Pha'Keen Weeb
*Fabricator General ES-7C
*High Lord Servitus Tenticulus Corpuscori
*Fleet Admiral Squatbar
*Jabba Da Pump
*Canoness Phat As'h
*Sister Jhail Bate
*Inquisitor Bigideas
*Huxley
*Sigmar Freudian
*Dr.Ankh Scotchman
*Machine Spirit R2-D2
*Clifford The Big Red Murder Beast
*Big Mac
*Chaplain Charles Chaplin
*Larry The Cable Guy
*NVIDIA GeForce GTX 970 4GB GDDR5 PCI Express 3.0 Graphics Card
*Bed Bath and Beyond Store Manager
*Rick Sanchez
*Morty Sanchez
*Stupid fucking robot that keeps stealing my shit, god damn i hate this guy

==Fall of Cadia==
Oddly enough, it appears that Trazyn decided to 'aid' the Imperium in their defense of Cadia (he decided that after 60 million years it would be interesting to play the hero for once). He knows the secrets of the Pylons on Cadia, and he even releases Imperium people from his collection (represented in game by letting you deep strike units, if you take Trazyn in your Imperium army). What a great guy giving up his collection to have more space for other exotic exhibits...
Specifically he got the feeling that something was coming after the Bell of Saint Gersthal started chiming in his collection (in Necron stasis, which shouldn't have been able to happen), messing with the programs of his Tomb World, breaking a bunch of priceless and unique shit, ruining it with [[Lulz|leaking coolant]], as it rang thirteen times before ceasing. Trazyn, perhaps more befuddled than irate, but really quite put off, promptly headed off to the Celestial Orrery on Thanatos, having to explain having stolen ''their'' shit the last time he was there, just to see what the fuck was going on (but not before casting the bell into the webway, [[Troll|hoping it would be as much of a pain in the Eldar's ass as it was his]]). And what do you know, there was but the Crons' watching over the thing could do nothing about it cause they were just meant to watch over the thing, not play galactic peacekeepers (although they eventually let him in, the guards weren't happy that Trazyn was there, due to an incident where some priceless artifact mysteriously went missing the last time he visited). Thus Trazyn decided to take up the role as a savior for once (mostly because he was bored and wanted to try something other than grave-robbing), and find the source of the corruption, which happened to be the little boring world of Cadia.

Long story short, Trazyn went off to Cadia released some parts of his collection (most notably Inquisitor Greyfax, though that is mostly just because his old Pen Pal Valeria was apparently killed by another human), and helped the Imperial forces screw around with the Pylons. Which somewhat backfired to put it lightly, though not that it mattered much to him because he stopped caring about playing the hero role and figured that while he was around he could find something for his collection to commemorate such a historic moment. And while he was originally hoping to claim Abaddon for his collection, his second choice was no less impressive.

''Creed stands alone on the ruined surface of Cadia. He sees a metal giant in a scaled cloak in front of him, hand outstretched.''

''"Ursarkar E. [[Creed]] - This is not your end. Eternity Awaits"....''

His current activities are mostly unknown, but he's been tapping into his pet C'tan shard for information about the Great Rift. It's implied that he has something rather outre in mind as he doesn't want to close it but to enter it safely himself..

==Inner Sadness of Trazyn==

Despite being such a 'happy' guy Trazyn is clearly hiding many things from everyone. He laments just how stale Necron society has become, unable to make or appreciate art and music. Just like the Tomb Kings of Fantasy, Trazyn has realized that immortality and technology alone isn't enough to make life worth living

Trazyn's collection of artefacts and history is a way of him to cope with his loss of memories, of identity and a lost of purpose. That's true Grimdark there. While he likely stole them, Trazyn expresses genuine grief and outrage when Orikan destroys several historical pre-biotransference Necrontyr relics.

While he admires and wants to be a colleague to [[Orikan the Diviner|Orikan]], he can't help screwing him over (having kleptomancy isn't good for relationships) even when it would be disadvantageous for him and his people. Despite being a fictional alien-turned-machine, Trazyn shows just how easy and damning it can be to fall in the pitfalls of life and how it can be more depressing than death

== See Also ==

* [http://images.wikia.com/heman/images/b/bc/Skeletor.jpg Compare and contrast, comrades.]
* [http://youtu.be/jJh5PETGihs?t=10m16s Epic duel ahead.]
* [https://soundcloud.com/calvin-turner-606722642/trazyn-the-infinite An audio recording of his infamous letter.] N.B Lost in the warp, and we all know who to blame for that now don't we?
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVghX8opHJU The infamous robot magpie himself finally has a voice actor!]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT5mWEWTb6A Trazyn National Anthem]

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Xenos]]

[[Category: Necrons]]

{{Necrons-Characters}}

Trazyn the Infinite

2021-02-13T16:12:02Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* Things on Trazyn's 'Must Have' List (and how to get some of them, perhaps.) */

{{MattWard}}
{{Awesome}}
{{Heresy}}
[[File:Trazyn.jpg|300px|right|thumb|He's come to steal your shit! (Probably literally, if it's rare enough) And if you're (un)lucky, he might even steal you.]]
{{topquote|I welcome all... to a place in my carefully curated collection!|The kleptomaniac himself, presenting the Necron faction in Battlefleet Gothic Armada 2}}

'''Trazyn the Infinite''', also known as '''Trollzyn the [[Tarpit]] Breaker''' and '''Trazyn the Grave Robber''', or Possibly Trazyn the shiny Stealer, is the best [[Necron]] Overlord/Phaeron (while ''technically'' his title is Overlord, he has his own Overlord subordinates and rule his own little empire like Phaeron). Basically what you'll get if you combined Doctor Doom, a [[Tomb King]], a [[Blood Ravens|Bloody Magpie]] and the Terminator, with a hint of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Trazyn the Infinite, ruler of the [[Tomb World]] named Solemence (which happens to be a Dyson Sphere powered by a [[C'tan]]), is a self-proclaimed preserver of histories, artifacts and events. In his possession are technologies and relics that are so valuable as to be priceless. Amongst his collection are the fabled wraithbone choir of Altansar, one of the preserved head of [[Sebastian Thor]], the ossified husk of an Enslaver and a suit of baroque power armour, complete with the Custodes who was still wearing it. This means that he is one of only two entities in this or any other universe that rivals the stealing power of the [[Blood Ravens]] (the other being the Deffskullz.) In such a dangerous galaxy, Trazyn is loath to go out and explore it himself, but with so many exquisite artifacts to see and catalogue, he cannot afford to miss out. As a result he will send out substitutes of himself to do his dirty work. On the battlefield this can become increasingly irritating, as killing what appears to be Trazyn may simply be a [[Lychguard]] or a Necron Lord. Meanwhile, somewhere nearby, the real Trazyn is busy smashing his way through his foes to get his metal hands on his latest acquisition.

(That's how the fluff handles it; the crunch rules imply that he simply takes over the body of another Lord, Lychguard, or [[Cryptek]]. He was there; you killed him; he just ran like the troll he is. [[Butthurt|Oh, and you didn't]] [[Alpha Legion|get Slay The Warlord by the way.]] <s>Just imagine this guy politely trolling with the voice of Terl from Battlefield Earth</s> he has a voice actor now via [[Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II]], [[Lulz|who actually sounds like a mechanical version of Terl]] (though he isn't voiced by John Travolta) : "Oh, dear ! What a wonderful contingent of Imperial Guards ! I shall thank you with all my heart, General, for this marvelous gift. Please tell them to strike a nice pose while I prepare a stasis grenade...")

/tg/ has gained a fondness for him, due to his thieving ways, his Doctor Doom-esque body doubles, and his polite yet [[Troll|trollish]] attitude, he is also known for using completely self-evident aliases, which nevertheless seem to work quite well. It is generally agreed that he is one of the only good things Matt Ward has ''ever'' put into the [[fluff]].

"A war-torn city in the [[Ultramar]] system. The [[Ultramarines]], aided by an [[Imperial Guard]] regiment led by Lord Castellan Ursarkar [[Creed]], prepares to face an [[Ork]] incursion in a final battle. The Orks are numerous, but the [[Imperium]] has the upper hand, just barely, as Lord Creed's tactical genius has proven invaluable. As the Orks begin their final assault on the city, the Ultramarines ready their defenses. Creed, ever oddly silent, gazes intently at a large flagpole in the center of town, watching through binocs as the Orks' charge is funneled towards the center of the city. Suddenly, as the Orks near the square, the tip of a [[Baneblade]]'s main gun can be seen coming around the flagpole. The great tank begins to emerge from behind the thin metal object, perfectly and impossibly concealed. It begins to move into its firing arc, and a great shout is heard from the [[Warboss]] down below, just barely carrying over the rest of the din. "'''CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-'''" Suddenly, the cry cuts off in confusion, as Creed spits out his cigar. Where the Baneblade once stood, there is air, thin air. Not a trace remains of the enormous tank. It has vanished completely. Then, gradually, a green, crackling, electrical rune appears hanging in the air where the Baneblade was. It extends gracefully, for its platonic geometric form. If Creed was given to poetry, he might even say it resembled a rose. But he knew better. A rage he had felt only once before began to boil deep within, and his cry shook the world as the Orkish tide began to hack his guardsmen and the Marines to pieces. "'''TRAAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYN!'''"

==From [[Matt Ward|Ward]] Himself==
"[[Bullshit|Trazyn's also no slouch in combat.]] Whenever his empathic obliterator kills an enemy, it has a chance to kill all other enemies of the same type in the same combat - perfect for Ork mobs. This isn't so useful against characters, but that's why Trazyn also carries a clutch of mindshackle scarabs - why kill an enemy when you can take over his mind and have him kill for you...?"oh wait nope, mss are now just a useful fear test. So now the only real use you'll find for him in a duel is whacking them with a stick.

==Letter to Inquisitor Valeria==
This is the (in)famous little piece of fluff that has made Trazyn so likable to /tg/, contrasting nicely with all the grim darkness around. Do note that it is unclear whether he's fucking nuts, indulging in some elaborate trolling or even both at once.

''Dear Lady, let me express my fulsome appreciation for your most generous gift. It is so very rare to discover another of my own kind that appreciates my work, therefore to find understanding amongst a member of another race is nothing short of a revelation. I realise that you briefly trod my galleries, but the fact that you spotted in so short a time that my Acabrius War collection was lacking three regiments of Catachan warriors reveals that you truly have a collector's eye for detail. And to send five regiments! Such generosity will allow me to weed out and replace a few of the more substandard pieces in my collection. If I might level a minor criticism, the instructions issued to your gift were manifestly not as clear as you thought, as most of them had to be forcibly restrained. Sadly it seems that the lower orders will always behave like an army of invasion, whether that be their purpose or not. However, this is a minor complaint and seems almost churlish under the circumstances, so please allow me to repay your gift with one of my own. Accompanying this message is the Hyperstone Maze, one of a series of Tesseract Labyrinths constructed at the height of the Charnovokh Dynasty. It is a trinket really, only of interest to scholars such as you and I, but I trust you will find it amusing; assuming you have the wit to escape its clutches, of course.''

It should be noted that an Inquisitor can actually use a Tesseract as a relic.

==The Infinite List of Dickings==
[[File:Trazyn2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Daww]]
Trazyn is universally regarded as a <strike>[[Eldrad|huge dick]]</strike> pretty fun guy to be around due to his <strike>[[Blood Ravens|rampant kleptomania]]</strike> erudition and wit. Here is a list of his <strike>crimes</strike> many-splendored accomplishments, compiled for the <strike>warning</strike> edification of /tg/.

* Killed five invading regiments of Catachans, then turned them into [[Wargame|miniatures for his collection.]]
** Sent [[Inquisitor Valeria]] fan mail (maybe, we can't tell if he was being sarcastic in the letter) attached to an armed tesseract labyrinth [[Blood Ravens|as a reward for "gifting" him said Catachan regiments.]] Being a true gentleman, when Valeria managed to unravel said tesseract labyrinth and use it 'safely', he took it with good grace and they became pen pals of sorts... [[Grimdark|But since no good deed stays unpunished]], as of Fall of Cadia Trazyn has revealed that while Valeria became his human waifu for some time she eventually got [[blam|BLAM'med]] for consorting with xenos, hence why he releases Greyfax the Angery instead of getting Valeria to tag along (Just as planned? How about Tau start summoning daemons for battle? <strike>And maybe Orks start building their own webway</strike>They already did it using superior gravitational corridors which don't need the warp during the War of the Beast.)
* Banned from the Necron throne world of Mandragora after trying to [[Ork|loot]] [[Imotekh the Stormlord|Imotekh's]] staff.
** [[Internet_Troll|Pops in whenever he feels like it anyway.]]
* Stole Sebastian Thor's [[wat|head]]. Maybe (There's like five other museums claiming to have his skeleton; the only reason Trazyn stands out is because his Thor head is preserved in a jar, rather than a skull).
* Took the World Spirit Shrine of Carnac, an [[Exodite]] world as a trophy for helping to conquer it.
* Uses other Necron Lords as body doubles [[Internet_Troll|without telling them.]]
* Told the [[Ultramarines|greatest amongst us all]] he was old pals with [[Roboute Guilliman|Rowboat Girlyman.]] Considering that one of the pokeballs he unleashed against Chaos at the Fall of Cadia was a bunch of Ultramarines fresh from the [[Great Scouring|aftermath of the Horus Heresy]], he might be telling the truth ("old pals" by his definition, of course).
** And then informed them that maybe [[Internet_Troll|he was going to take Papa Smurf, as he'd be better off with him than in the company of the Ultramarines.]]
*** And with Rowboat coming back, [[Yvraine|somehow]], for 40k End Times, we might actually get to see how the two know each other. If they actually do. There's every possibility that [[troll|Trollzyn was just lying]].
* <s>Has a fucking PRIMARCH stored at his pad, supposedly... Possibly Vulkan according to White Dwarf.</s> Technically it's a Primarch clone, but it's still a perfect copy of the pre-Heresy Fulgrim, courtesy of [[Fabius Bile]].
*Told [[Vulkan He'stan]] he had the Song of Entropy, luring the Salamanders into a 10-year war with the Necrons. At the end of it, Trazyn pretty much said "just kidding, I don't have the Song of Entropy," as he tried to steal the Spear of Vulkan. Kind of back fired when [[Vulkan He'stan]] decided to just give him the Spear. ''Tip'' first. He'stan was pretty pissed when he learned Trazyn just jumped into another body.
** Twice.
*Invaded the Imperial planet of Midgardia and nabbed a C'tan shard of Nyadra'zatha, despite [[Logan Grimnar]]'s attempts to stop him. It's notable that he pulled this off in Logan's own codex supplement, where most other battles in the book were a resounding Space Wolf victory. To be fair, Space Wolves destroying (and thus accidentally freeing) a C'tan shard would make them look like an assholes. I mean even more assholes than they already are.
**In retribution, Logan hunted him down to another planet, Vhaloth IV, and ended up kicking Imotekh's ass instead. ([[Just As Planned]]. The dick deserved it for hanging on to his staff anyway.)
* Captured an Ork warboss and the Deathwatch kill team that was hunting said warboss, and sat them in front of each other in his collection for all eternity. And he double-checked they were both still self-aware, just to feel them suffer.
* Caught a bunch of tech priests evacuating from the necron invasion of Magogue, and set them up in stasis as a monument to that planet's fall. Notable because he pulled it off in the Skitarii codex. Trazyn's apparently the go-to guy for being able to win outside of his own codex.
* May or may not be the one pulling the strings behind the events of [[Xenology]], as probably he won't have any problems impersonating a C'tan shard.
* Has been hanging out on Cadia for who knows how long as the "man of iron" which all but confirms the pylons are necrons made.
* <strike>Steals Creed himself after the fall of Cadia.</strike> Blundered into allowing Creed to infiltrate his collection.
* Steals Papa Smurfs' (The Ultramarine bloke that can't spell Robert properly) pillow from his lumber.
* Stole an Emperor's Children's gene-seed tithe ship containing thousands of progenoids.
* Traded it for the only perfect clone of [[Fulgrim]], thus dashing the only hope of the Third Legion rebuilding itself and becoming more than a bunch of depraved sick fucks.
* Planning to add to his collection all the stuff from [[Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II]], World Engine and Hiveships included!
* Has an agent in Middle Earth Shadow of War called the Trophy Hunter. How he got there is beyond this anon's mental capabilities
* Frees an AdMech Magos and a pair of Sororitas in the short story War in the Museum to deal with an escaped Lictor and Hive Tyrant. The Sororitas were supposed to be biological sisters frozen in their last moments fighting Tyranids, but one sister was dead and [[Grimdark|used as spare parts to fix up her surviving sister]]; the other Sororitas was a stand-in taken from Goge Vandire's Brides of the Emperor (the precursor of the SoB). Trazyn goes so far as to swear on his honor he will reunite them with their Lord and not put them back in the same exhibit if they accomplish their task. True to his word, he puts them in a different exhibit...facing another called 'The Beheading of Goge Vandire'. Oddly enough, Trazyn considers the magos as something of a friend and even sends the AdMech research packets on his behalf, and decided to keep the Magos in stasis with full awareness at the Magos's request. Seems he prefers to perform his computing in peace and quiet and does not mind being part of Trazyn's collection.
* Stole [[Gorkamorka]] for his Angelis display. From The Infinite and The Divine "Trukks and buggies howled corkscrews across the display, ripping across the desert shanty town built around the enormous idol of Gork – or Mork.
* Played a practical joke on [[Orikan the Diviner]] by unleashing a genestealer on him.
** Said genestealer survived the encounter and went on to infect and raise a cult on the planet which attacked a visiting naval battlegroup [[grimdark|leading to the planet being exterminatused]].
* Played another practical joke on [[Orikan the Diviner]] by unleashing a brood of catachan devils on him.
[[File:Bfg-2-trazyn.jpg|800px|center|thumb|A man of culture always enjoys a tour for his collection...]]

==Things on Trazyn's 'Must Have' List (and how to get some of them, perhaps.)==
[[File:TrazynAndDiomedes.jpg|thumb|right|300px|There can only be one true magpie.]]
* Old One Eye's lost eye (Hire Bile to vatgrow it)
* Kartoth the Bloodhunger, both so he can say he won the game as well as rip holes to go back in time for more collecting.
* [[Abaddon]]. No, really, that's (one of) the reason(s) he came to Cadia in the first place: he wants to add the Warmaster of Chaos to his collection! (Last seen near Vigilus, should team up with the Ultramarines since the Planet Killer is coming there)
* [[Saint Celestine]]. (Go read The ''Fall of [[Cadia]]'', this is not a joke! Also, not that hard, he just kill her, keeps the body while she reincarnates somewhere else)
* A lock of the Emperor's hair (Assuming it hasn't rotted away by the time he gets to Terra). (Again, can be vatgrown by Bile in exchange of.. something)
* <s>[[Magnus the Red|Magnus the Red's]] favourite eye.</s> Magnus has agreed to provide things for his collection in exchange for being left intact
* An 8th edition Sisters of Battle codex. (done)
** An 8th edition box set of plastic sisters. Yes, he's the reason the November 2019 set sold out so early.
*Anyone atheist in Age of Sigmar, if not then a dwarf from the Kharadron Overlords will suffice.
* The [[Sanguinor]] in a stasis field.
* <s>A living Tyranid zoo (no stuffed dolls for our old collector). Would be much easier to accomplish if 'Nids didn't try to keep the fuck away from Necrons and their worlds.</s> Never mind. He gave up on this one after his specimens broke out of their exhibit and nom-med half of Solemnace. He's currently attempting to redo it on another planet near Solemnace.
* One of each type of Eldar Aspect Warrior, arranged in complementing color order.
* Each [[Phoenix Lord]], including the fallen Ahra or Drazhar (just in case he's Ahra); bonus points for the originals. Otherwise, something from them, such as one of [[Asurmen]]'s twin-linked [[Shuriken Catapult]]s or a lock of [[Jain Zar]]'s hair (bonus points for getting things from all of their incarnations).
* A signed autograph from each Primarch. (Still asking [[Orikan the Diviner|Orikan]] for "access" to his time machine so he can get one from [[Ferrus Manus]], [[Horus]], [[Sanguinius]], and [[Konrad Curze]] since they're all presently busy being dead.)
* A signed autograph from each chaos god, preferably without stains or switcharoo.
* A sweet ride so he can cruise the galaxy looking for new junk.
* The [[Baneblade#Fortress of Arrogance|Fortress of Arrogance]], preferably with [[Commissar Yarrick]] as well.
* [[Sammael|Sammael's]] Jetbike.
* A [[Pauldron|shoulder pad]] from each space marine chapter (Pre-heresy legions and post-heresy chapters all together of course, going for the complete set!)
* A Space Marine from each of the first Legions (this collection would be easily finished if not for the fact that he can't find any marines from the two missing legions).
* The two missing legions.
* [[Mary Sue|Those meddling kids - and that stupid dog!]]
* <s>A painting of one of the Emprah, Tzeentch, Cegorach, and the Deceiver's card games.</s> Creed provided him a holovid of the game that got him banned. He is content with this, And believes that Creed should be unbanned
* A circus filled with nothing but Eldar Harlequins.
* The <s>school report and childhood items</s> first set of kid-sized slave shackles of Asdrubael Vect.
* Urien Rakarth's first torture kit.
* An Avatar of Khaine. He's probably killed one, given how Geedubs keeps jobbing them, but the fact that their remains melt away and reform on the Craftworld - similar to how Necrons phase out - means Trazyn hasn't gotten one yet.
* A garage filled with one of each type of the Imperial Guard's tanks.
* A feather from Sanguinus's wings. (Dante has one in stasis)
* An Imperial Titan that has been CREEEEEEEDed.
** A snap shot of the look on Abaddon's face upon seeing aforementioned Titan in the middle of his battle line, shouting CREEEEEEEED
* Abbadon's arms. Creed hid them so well that even Trazyn is having trouble finding them.
* A matching pair of [[Angry Marine]] Powerfeet.
* A pair of a Sisters Of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties from each Order, stolen from their quarters while they are asleep. Surprisingly hard to pull off (fnar fnar), even for Trazyn.
* A set of [[Lelith Hesperax|Lelith Hesperax's]] combat attire after she's been in a fight. This is even harder to pull off than the Sisters of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties.
* One of the fingers from the Talon of Horus. (Will have to force-grip Abaddon very hard)
* Slaanesh's entire porn collection. While no planet is big enough to hold all that porn, that's what parallel dimensions are for!
* One of Ferrus Manus's hands. He isn't picky which.(Not sure if Vulkan completely destroyed it)
* An [[Imperial Knight]] from each house.
* The Panacea STC.
** And since [[Lady Malys]] got there first, anything cool she owns, as well as a selfie with her before and after she realizes he stole her stuff.
* The Eye of Horus. As in the ''actual'' Eye.(Again, Bile can make one)
* The [[Eye of Terror]] and everything in it.
* Commander [[Puretide]] and/or [[Farsight|all]] [[Shadowsun|of his]] [[Shas'O Kais|students]].
* A calm and rational [[World Eaters|World Eater]] marine.
* A clean and disease-free [[Death Guard]] marine.(Hello Nathaniel Garro)
* A [[Emperor's Children]] marine who shows restraint.(Hello Saul Tarvitz, maybe already got him that's why they never found the body?)
* <s>A live and fleshy non-sorcerer [[Thousand Sons|Thousand Son]] marine. (As of Ahriman: Unchanged, there was one of these, and as of Gathering Storm Yvraine made a dozen more before throwing them into the Warp)</s> Provided by [[Magnus The Red]] in exchange for a deck of cards
* <s>A [[Night Lords]] Marine that is actually friendly to be around.</s> Has also been provided by [[Magnus The Red]] in exchange for the same deck of cards.
* An atheist [[Word Bearers]] marine
* A [[Kharn|certain]] swell guy.
** A picture with said swell guy
* Remnants of the Inquisitorial acolyte who died of old age. Ones aged by a [[Hrud|Hrud's]] entropic field do not count.
* The Doomsday Clock from [[The Last Church]].
** <s>Also Uriah himself.</s> After finding out he’s a chaos worshiper he has changed his mind.
*The cure for the [[Red Thirst]].(Hello Rubicon Primaris, maybe)
**A photo of The Blood Angels' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them. (Bonus for [[Dante]]'s reaction with his mask off)
* The cure for the Curse of the Wulfen.(Hello again, Rubicon Primaris, maybe)
** A photo of The Space Wolves' shocking reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them. (Bonus of [[Logan Grimnar]] shaving his beard in shame)
* The right hands of [[Helbrecht]], [[Eldorath Starbane]] and anyone else who had their right hands cut off by Imotekh.
* At least one [[Jokaero]].(shouldn't be that difficult as even a Catachan team managed to got one during the Pandorax Campaign)
** And anything they make/modify.
* As many [[Catgirl|catgirls]] as possible.
** Along with a selfie with each of them.
*** And as many [[Kitsune|kitsunes]] as possible, along with selfies and a shrine to their name.
* Any 100% reliable information about Alpha Legion.
* Any 100% reliable information about Alfa Legion.
* The Blood Ravens Armoury. Since most of the above was already "gifted" to the Chapter. Not to mention there are quite a few things listed here that may be in there in the first place
* A machine to control the [[Warp]] so he can create impossible things. (Either the Golden Throne or the Tuchulcha engine may do the trick)
* A complete and unblemished cosmetic kit 'gifted' by a [[Pretty Marines]]' Company Captain, still with a wrapping bow attached. (Getting one each from both Loyalist and Chaos Pretty Marines Captains would be even better!)
* The very [[Ethereal|Ethereals]] who united the [[Tau]] race back when they were limited to only their homeworld, or their bodies...or severed heads.
* One of each type of Imperial Assassin in the position they held before trying to kill him. This wouldn't be so problematic if it wasn't for the fact that he has yet to convince the Assassinorium to send a Culexus assassin against him.
* A 1st Edition copy of the [[Codex Astartes]] with Roboute Guilliman's autograph on the dust jacket. (Guilliman probably has one)
** A 1st Edition copy of the [[Lectitio Divinatus]] with Lorgar's signature on the dust jacket to sit directly opposite the Codex. (Again Guilliman, if you are not that picky in terms of what "1st edition" means)
* A recording of Warboss [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull]] famous: "Wez gonna Waagh!"speech.
* A prison capable of holding [[Cypher]], containing the man himself.
* <s>A STC detailing how to finally have enough Dakka</s>. <span style='color:green;font-size:100%'>'''*KRUMP* HERE...HERESESS...BLOODY 'ELL WHOTEVER DAT WORD IS YOU 'UMIES KEEP SAYIN' BEFORE Y'SHOOTS STUPIDER 'UMIES!'''</span>
* <s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Warhammer Fantasy.</s> Done as he managed to get an STC of Steam with a Total Warhammer series warp-powered bunch of keys.
* <s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Lord of the Rings.</s> (Trazyn has now accomplished this according to some writefaggotry posted on fanfiction.net. Much nerd [[rage]] shall ensue. You have been warned.)
* <s>An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Wars.</s> (He has also accomplished this due to MORE Writefaggotry on Fanfiction.net.)
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Trek (Risky, considering the technologies in Star Trek, he just might actually end up as a collectible himself or be tracked back to his home dimension).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Mass Effect universe (Doable, but risky if he ever crosses paths with the Reapers).
* A TARDIS so he can learn the name of The Doctor (Riskier than Star Trek because of the technologies involved. Also, if anyone could track Trazyn back to his home dimension and thoroughly wreck his shit it'd be The Doctor).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Marvel Universe (main timeline).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the DC Universe (main timeline).
* An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Halo universe ( dangerous because of Master Chief and his damn luck).
* The body of a Dwarf [[Slayer]] who died of old age.
* <s>All the NON-Grimdarkness of the 41st millennium in a bottle. So nothing in bottle then.</s> Already done.
* [[Temperus Maximus]]' Adamantium Cigar. Trazyn almost managed to loot this, but Temperus suddenly called an Orbital Strike on top of himself before this happened. Temperus' armor received minor scorch marks when the strike ended and Trazyn's body double was obliterated.
* One marine from each chapter of the cursed founding.
* A [[Death Korps of Krieg]] gas mask serial number 0000000000000000000000001.
* Names, addresses and personal phone numbers of the two unknown Primarchs.
* Cardinal Anton Fedelicus and his collected writings, which if introduced would have allowed for a very large degree of sexual freedom to have been integrated into the ecclesiarchical theology without increasing the risk of Slaaneshi corruption.
* A living [[Astral Knights|Astral Knight]].
* A "lucky" [[Lamenters]] marine (also count as one of the cursed founding collection).
* A working time travel device created by the [[Ordo Chronos]] ([[heresy|if it was ever made]]). The purpose for this device being -- you guessed it -- collect more artifacts from the past.
* His own body double in an alternative universe, if only he did not manage to turn into [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure|dimensional sponge]] in the process or lost to his alternative self in a collection contest.
* A lock of hair from each of the [[Tarkus|infamous]] [[Boreale|baldraven]] [[Diomedes|marines]].
* A "My First Assault Cannon" box set (Even better if unopened).
* A photo of the Emperor as a boy.
* As well as all of his photographic recordings scattered throughout time, whether it is rock scribble from the stone age or painting in the Renaissance Era or those Youtube video he has made back in 20XX.
* A [[Squat]].
* A living Boneripper (plenty of chance since Thanquol is still around in Age of Sigmar).
* The personal battle standard of [[Gabriel Angelos]] used at his ascension to chapter master.
** The Blood Ravens also want one of Trazyn's personal banners. Negotiations are ongoing.
* An Ogryn's 'Guardsman's Primer: Colouring Book Edition' and matching 'The Great Crayon Crusade' coloring set.
* The oldest dreadnought of each Space Marine chapter.
* [[Samus]]' armor.
* A body-pillow of [[Lolicron|Cathy]] (Original prefered)
* The Entire First and Second Seasons of "If The Emperor had a text-to-speech device" on blu-ray signed by Chapter Master Alfabusa.
* Chapter Master Alfabusa in a stasis chamber.
* Limited collectors edition of Half life 3 (After all, it's only been 38,000 years in development, maybe Valve will finish it before chaos/da WAAAAGH/the Tyranids/Imotekh's ego consumes the entire galaxy!)
* [[Sly Marbo|Sly Marbo's]] personal pistol, though not even Trazyn is willing to try and collect it.
* An actual ork sniper.
* A Butlin-Class Titan.
* The [[Men of Iron|Man of Iron]].
* <s>The Cigar Creed always chews but never smokes.</s> Acquired as part of the new Creed exhibit.
* The legs from an Imperial Sentinel (must have attachment for his own legs)
*A picture of Sigmar hugging Draconithon
* A list of names of <s>the fallen to wave at the Dark Angels</s> COMPLETELY UNRELATED TRAITOR MARINES THAT JUST LIKE WEARING BLACK AND RED AND WINGED SWORDS.
* A ham personally provided by the Ordo Draigo.
* A book borrowed from the black library with a selfie of him and Cegorach.
* A picture of himself before he turned to Necron. (just print his memories, he is an android, duh)
* The best pole dancer in the Commorragh in a stasis chamber (that was [[Yvraine]] at one point, so her).
* The best pole dancer out of all Slaanesh cultists in a stasis chamber.
* A photograph of a Cyclonic torpedo the moment it impacts the ground.
* A group photo of Thunder Warriors with Arik Taranis and the Emperor.
* An acknowledgement from GW that [[Malal]] does indeed exist.
* An actual affordable GW Warhammer 40k miniature from any faction.
* An undisputably good codex from any faction.
* [[Carlos McConnell]], or at least one of his catgirls, in a stasis chamber.
* A jar of [[Skub]].
* The book "[[Standard Template Construct]]" for dummies.
* Sensible [[Blood Angels]].
* Hairless [[Space Wolves]]. Being shaven doesn't count, the Marine has to be hairless naturally.
* A copy of Battletoads.
* The Statue of Liberty, shrunk to 10 feet size and taken from Nova Yourk hive of Merica.
* Blueprint of [[Angron]]'s Butcher's Nails.
* A WW2 Era Luger pistol, original.
* Enough Blood for the [[Khorne|Blood God]].
* <s>Enough Skulls for the Skull Throne.</s> THERE ARE NEVER ENOUGH SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE, LOYALIST SCUM!
* One of Roboute Guilliman's new [[Primaris Marines|Super Space Marines]].
* A Pokeball that can hold a C'tan.
* A living member of the Interex.
* A Picture of Eldrad and Vect trying to out-dick one another.
* An STC that has technology that will allow him to do some Dark Eldar Drugs.
* A video of Nemesor Zahndrekh putting on glasses and realizing that he is now a Skeleton Robot and the Other Necrontyr are not what they seemed to be
* An member of an Alien race the Imperium actually gets along with. (<s>Pretty damn impossible.</s> Also [[Yvraine]]; two birds, one stone)
* An Ork who can actually think. Word has it [[War of the Beast|he might need to go back in time for that...]]
* <s>DLC for Dawn of War III.</s> Got that on the same sale he got the keys for TW:WH.
* An Autograph from [[Nagash]].
* A video of Yarrick taking over the Orks. (<s>Only a Matter of time now</s> [[wat|It's mentioned in the 8E rulebook that the Orks and Humans on Armageddon formed an alliance to fight chaos, so this is pretty much canon for now.]])
* The Golden Throne. That means Trazyn is not allowed on Holy Terra.
* [[Belisarius Cawl]]. Bonus points if he collects the Alpha Primus as well.
* <s>Enough DAKKA.</s><span style='color:green;font-size:100%'>'''WUT DID WE SAY 'BOUT DAT?'''</span>
* The name and address of the Ork that keeps Dakka blocking him.
* An official GW/[[The Ninth Age]] tournament. Will require some dimensional traveling since the latter started distancing itself from being 9th Edition WHFB.
** An official WHFB tournament that uses [[Warhammer Armies Project]] rules.
* [[Farsight#The_Dawn_Blade|The Dawn Blade]].
* A clone of [[Fabius Bile]], not as an exhibit but just to make conversation with. He nearly got one if Fabius Bile didn't decide to trade him his Fulgrim clone instead.
* [[Lorgar|Lorgar's]] diary, the single largest source of [[heresy]] in the universe. He puts this one off due to the aura of discomfort that radiates from anything Lorgar has touched.
* A portal into an alternate past reality where GW doesn't constantly use the Eldar as fluffy punching bags, and where xenos factions actually get as much attention as [[Space Marine|GeeDub's poster boys.]]
* A pyrophobic [[Salamanders (Chapter)|Salamander]].
* The Emperor's text-to-speech device.
* The Emperor's left eye.
* [[Old Man Henderson|Old Man Henderson's]] gnomes.
* Old Man Henderson's player.
* All Nintendo World Championship cartridges, both regular and gold.
* One of those [[Noise Marine]] sonic guns that looks like a sweet guitar.
* A member of the Death Korps of Krieg with self-preservation instincts.
* A living [[Sensei]].
* The only known Platypus to achieve the rank of Inquisitor along with his arch-nemesis: a bumbling non-chaotic heretek pharmacist.
* A set of [[Rogue Trader]] era [[Beakie]] Armor.
*A picture of Gorkamorka turning into Gork and Mork
* The rest of the Blackstone Fortresses.
* [[Commissar Fuklaw|Commissar Fuklaw's]] cap.
* [[Cultist-chan]] in a sound-proof cell.
* A recording of Tzeentch saying [[JUST AS PLANNED]] in every known language (would've been done sooner, but Tzeentch keeps speaking in languages that he claims are created in the future or he might be making up, just to troll Trazyn).
* One of [[Dranon|Dranon's]] cigars.
* [[Ciaphas Cain]] HERO OF THE IMPERIUM's missing fingers.
* A sextape of Cain and Amberley.
* Two copies of Shadow War: Armageddon. The second one will be a backup 'Just in case' copy.
* Some [[Primaris Lieutenant|Primaris Lieutenants]]. There is so many right now nobody is gonna notice some of them go missing.
* Roboute's body pillow of Yvraine.
* Yvraine's vibrator that she got while on Ultramar.
* The [[Silent King]]'s Sanguinus mask.
* A "Miniature" of an Emperor Class Titan in regular 40k scale.
* Dio Brando with a ROAD ROLLER DAAAAA!!!
* Kitten's Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker deck.
* Kitten himself.
* A picture of Kitten and Shadowsun kissing.
* Shadowsun's bodysuit after a fight.
* [[Commissar Yarrick]]'s right arm
* Assholetep's robes. The only thing stopping is the fact that if Trazyn accomplished this, Assholetep would immediately assume it's Trazyn and wreck his collection, so Trazyn's put this on the backburner.
* Every single person who had edited this page. Don't! I'm edi--
* Some more paper and a pencil for more lists. And Lord Admiral Spire to complete his Imperial collection.
* All the Pokémons.
* A clear, accurate, unedited photograph of a Diglett's body.
* The official single extended version of the Tattered Sails Shanty signed by [[Luthor Harkon]].
* The Mona Lisa (will probably have to infiltrate the Imperial Palace).
* Evidence of [[Cypher]]'s true identity.
* A 1990s Holographic Charizard Pokémon Card.
* One Sergeant "Jinxie" Penlan, ideally in the process of tripping over something and preferably not somehow messing up half the collection because of it.
* And a partridge in a pear tree~
* An ork that doesn't want to fight
* A gretchin that's stronger than an ork
* One of the Artifacts of Vulkan.
*[[Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure|A Road Roller,Da.]]
* And some good Matt ward fluff. Besides himself. Permanently placed at the bottom of the list because even he has his limits.

==Ever-increasing Trazyn's aliases List==
*Arsène Lupin
*Pepe
*Bob The regular non-necron guardsman.
*Bob the Builder
*The Fat Controller
*Sir Toppham Hatt
*Every notable persons from your childhood
*Borris the generic soul-less warrior
*Phaeron Imothephek the Thunderboltlord.
*Onionkyr the Voyager.
*Nemesor Zahnpasta.
*The grinch
*Vanguard O'Brien.
*El Bandido Dickbag de la Muerte
*Trellsin the Singular.
*[https://youtu.be/v4Y4QBL5Fmg Bender][https://youtu.be/OWPfcEOr2Yg Bending Rodríguez]
*Necropimp
*The most fabulous Necron of them all (after he said this, Sanguinius appeared before him and told him that if he ever said the word fabulous again, he would steal everything he owns)
*Illuminor Spookyras.
*Notc'tan the Diviner.
*Sissy Rack the Loud Queen.
*Dio Brando/ZA WARUDO.
*Thanquol the (In)Competent.
*Marisa Kirisame
*Shas'O Wi A'bu.
*Inquisitor Emprah of Catachan.
*Anon Y. Mouse.
*Captain Inkoc Nito.
*Dirty Dan
*Pinhead Larry
*Winona Ryder
*The Tin White Douche
*Dean Isle.
*Kaz Miller.
*Mideer Laydee.
*Eliphas the inheritor.
*Commissar Hugh Mann.
*Korporal Dick Goesinzya.
*Canoness Ivanna Purgealot.
*High Scout Henrick Day-o-midis.
*Farsighter Loldrad Gretchinbane.
*Lord-sergeant Ultramarius Sicarius.
*Archservitor Robotnik Wilhelm.
*Warboss Ghozkull Grotstealer.
*Skitarius Ranger Alpha Stroheimus JJ-1337.
*Archon Kim Ke.
*Trashbin the incompetent
*Suede O'Niim.
*John Smith.
*Alan Smithee.
*Kyon.
*Ned Cron.
*Mouse M.D.
*Victor Domashev.
*Bernie Madoff
*Carmen Sandiego
*Lara Craft
*Master Thief
*Sir Welland Dowde
*High Admiral tankcommander Pascual.
*Techpriest 01110100 01110010 01100001 01111010 01111001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100110 01101001 01101110 01101001 01110100 01100101 00001010 .
*Gordon Freeman.
*Mr. Roboto.
*Nyzart the ending
*Nafqa.
*Sly Cooper
*The God emperor of Mankind.
*Mac Tonight.
*The G-man.
*Venom Snake.
*He-Man.
*Skeltor
*Iron Man.
*Albert Wesker
*Gabe Newell.
*SLYYYY MARBOOO!! (When Trazyn assumed this disguise, every necron in the segmentum had a Catachan Fang spontaneously appear in its skull and teleported to self repair, and the knife that appeared in Trazyn's hands had "I'll let you off this time" written on the grip."
*Big Boss Final
*Zharn the Bee Trainer
*Tray the Model Man
*[[matt_ward|Matt Ward's]] dignity
*BIg BobbyG.
*alpharius.
*not omegon.
*the London Jets
*pantheon of 40k (GW)
*Belisarius Cawl
*JOHN CENA!!!
*The Immortal Jod Emper of Space-skeletonkind
*Spartacus
*Danger Powers
*The Second Coming of Matt Ward
*Fresh Prince of Ultramar
*The King of Games
*Mr E. Man
*The real thief of the Primarchs
*Sister Superior Wendy
*Chaplin Hamburglar
*The Doctor
*Thief Khee'Bler
*Norm L. Pearson
*The Lord of the [[Squats]]
*<S>Waldo</s> Wally
*The God Emperor of Mankind
*Ol’ Funnybones
*T-8 Double Zero
*Systems model 101
*Hugh Mann
*The Necron emperor of Necronkind
*The next door neighbour who is a hoarder
* YOU THIEVING BASTARD!
*Commander Griefouz
*Our Lord and Saviour
*Generic Robot #3775123
*Trashy the Incontinent
*Jimmy Neuron
*Lieutenant Crunch
*Mor'Dakka
*Alice Turning
*Shiro The Black
*Kuro The White
*Pha'Keen Weeb
*Fabricator General ES-7C
*High Lord Servitus Tenticulus Corpuscori
*Fleet Admiral Squatbar
*Jabba Da Pump
*Canoness Phat As'h
*Sister Jhail Bate
*Inquisitor Bigideas
*Huxley
*Sigmar Freudian
*Dr.Ankh Scotchman
*Machine Spirit R2-D2
*Clifford The Big Red Murder Beast
*Big Mac
*Chaplain Charles Chaplin
*Larry The Cable Guy
*NVIDIA GeForce GTX 970 4GB GDDR5 PCI Express 3.0 Graphics Card
*Bed Bath and Beyond Store Manager
*Rick Sanchez
*Morty Sanchez
*Stupid fucking robot that keeps stealing my shit, god damn i hate this guy

==Fall of Cadia==
Oddly enough, it appears that Trazyn decided to 'aid' the Imperium in their defense of Cadia (he decided that after 60 million years it would be interesting to play the hero for once). He knows the secrets of the Pylons on Cadia, and he even releases Imperium people from his collection (represented in game by letting you deep strike units, if you take Trazyn in your Imperium army). What a great guy giving up his collection to have more space for other exotic exhibits...
Specifically he got the feeling that something was coming after the Bell of Saint Gersthal started chiming in his collection (in Necron stasis, which shouldn't have been able to happen), messing with the programs of his Tomb World, breaking a bunch of priceless and unique shit, ruining it with [[Lulz|leaking coolant]], as it rang thirteen times before ceasing. Trazyn, perhaps more befuddled than irate, but really quite put off, promptly headed off to the Celestial Orrery on Thanatos, having to explain having stolen ''their'' shit the last time he was there, just to see what the fuck was going on (but not before casting the bell into the webway, [[Troll|hoping it would be as much of a pain in the Eldar's ass as it was his]]). And what do you know, there was but the Crons' watching over the thing could do nothing about it cause they were just meant to watch over the thing, not play galactic peacekeepers (although they eventually let him in, the guards weren't happy that Trazyn was there, due to an incident where some priceless artifact mysteriously went missing the last time he visited). Thus Trazyn decided to take up the role as a savior for once (mostly because he was bored and wanted to try something other than grave-robbing), and find the source of the corruption, which happened to be the little boring world of Cadia.

Long story short, Trazyn went off to Cadia released some parts of his collection (most notably Inquisitor Greyfax, though that is mostly just because his old Pen Pal Valeria was apparently killed by another human), and helped the Imperial forces screw around with the Pylons. Which somewhat backfired to put it lightly, though not that it mattered much to him because he stopped caring about playing the hero role and figured that while he was around he could find something for his collection to commemorate such a historic moment. And while he was originally hoping to claim Abaddon for his collection, his second choice was no less impressive.

''Creed stands alone on the ruined surface of Cadia. He sees a metal giant in a scaled cloak in front of him, hand outstretched.''

''"Ursarkar E. [[Creed]] - This is not your end. Eternity Awaits"....''

His current activities are mostly unknown, but he's been tapping into his pet C'tan shard for information about the Great Rift. It's implied that he has something rather outre in mind as he doesn't want to close it but to enter it safely himself..

==Inner Sadness of Trazyn==

Despite being such a 'happy' guy Trazyn is clearly hiding many things from everyone. He laments just how stale Necron society has become, unable to make or appreciate art and music. Just like the Tomb Kings of Fantasy, Trazyn has realized that immortality and technology alone isn't enough to make life worth living

Trazyn's collection of artefacts and history is a way of him to cope with his loss of memories, of identity and a lost of purpose. That's true Grimdark there.

While he admires and wants to be a colleague to [[Orikan the Diviner|Orikan]], he can't help screwing him over (having kleptomancy isn't good for relationships) even when it would be disadvantageous for him and his people. Despite being a fictional alien-turned-machine, Trazyn shows just how easy and damning it can be to fall in the pitfalls of life and how it can be more depressing than death

== See Also ==

* [http://images.wikia.com/heman/images/b/bc/Skeletor.jpg Compare and contrast, comrades.]
* [http://youtu.be/jJh5PETGihs?t=10m16s Epic duel ahead.]
* [https://soundcloud.com/calvin-turner-606722642/trazyn-the-infinite An audio recording of his infamous letter.] N.B Lost in the warp, and we all know who to blame for that now don't we?
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVghX8opHJU The infamous robot magpie himself finally has a voice actor!]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT5mWEWTb6A Trazyn National Anthem]

[[Category: Warhammer 40,000]]

[[Category: Xenos]]

[[Category: Necrons]]

{{Necrons-Characters}}

Medieval Stasis

2021-02-13T16:08:26Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* Notable Settings Without Medieval Stasis */

{{Topquote|[[Eberron]] in 998 YK is based on the idea that ''civilization is evolving''.|Keith Baker, explaining why Eberron is not a normal campaign setting.}}
'''Medieval Stasis''' describes the state of essentially all fantasy worlds that never get to [[steampunk]], and a crucial component of the [[standard fantasy setting]].

As the title implies, most fantasy worlds are stuck at a technological level roughly equivalent to Europe between 1000 CE and 1500 CE, being more advanced in some fields and more primitive in others, until the universe collapses. A [[knight]]'s ancestors five thousand years ago fought against Orcs on the back of a great warhorse, wielding [[sword]] and lance, wearing plate and a greathelm, just as he does at present and how his descendants 25 generations down the line will. At best, some groups in the universe may be more advanced than others (some peoples might be building castles and forging plate armor while others live as primitive cave men armed with flint axes and stone tipped spears), but nobody will be developing new technology, or, on the off chance one or two factions are, it will never spread much or catch on anywhere else. This also applies to social structures such as feudalism, with a max of one non-Greco-Roman democracy per setting. It will be conquered and restored from edition to edition as fanboys war behind the scenes.

While it is not, in and of itself, a bad thing, as it creates a set mood and style of play, we run into the fact that many writers are hacks, and use it to both rip-off other writers (principally, Tolkien) and to [[Advancing the Storyline|keep the world stagnant enough that they don't risk smashing something people actually like that they didn't have the skill to ''realize'' they shouldn't smash, while still maintaining the illusion of forward momentum]]. The ''[[Forgotten Realms]]'' is a prime example of this, featuring both several powerful organizations out to stifle any attempt to progress the technological or socioeconomic advancement of the setting, and many lame-brained "advances" in story from edition to edition, most infamously with 4th edition's "Spellplague" and retconned twin planet where all the new 4e races were hiding.

A common thing among fantasy writers is treating firearms of any kind as a taboo. Many feel that featuring firearms would somehow ruin the medieval feeling despite the fact that firearms were used in the late medieval period (and in Warhammer.) Granted, [[neckbeards|many people's]] weapon history knowledge is such that they believe that having guns would immediately mean having AK-47s rather than merely having handcannons or matchlock muskets.

Note that in high-magic settings, sorcery sometimes gets so common and overpowered that it basically replaces technological progress. Why would you build robots or rockets if you can just create golems or cast Teleport Without Error?

Another issue with medieval stasis is that a lot of writers—most of them in fact—probably know less about the actual Middle Ages than the average Crusader Kings 2 player and thus present not only a world in medieval stasis but one that's in, at best, a theme-park version of the medieval period and quite often only really showing Anglo-French medievalism (and a bastardized shitfarmer version of it at that). The somewhat more historically literate might put in some anachronisms like references to ancient Greece, Egypt, and Rome, or to the Aztecs (usually a ramshackle mishmash of half remembered tidbits of the Mayans, Aztecs, and Inca thrown together with no real thought), and if you're extra lucky you might get something that's an extended reference to a (largely inaccurate) medieval Islamic polity or to the Holy Roman Empire, mixed in with the usual barbarian tribes, but that's usually about it. Like the Democracy thing mentioned above? It was nowhere near that simple in real life. A great many of the tribal societies we have records of were actually very democratic, where the King was elected and so were the chiefs below them and they absolutely did not have absolute authority over their subjects. And of course "feudalism" is simply a catch all label for a hugely varied and complicated array of societal organization systems that can be vaguely described as an aristocratic hierarchy based around land and military service and assorted ties of loyalty and bloodline.

And even in medieval Europe you had systems that broke the norm, like the merchant republics of Italy or the north German free cities, and of course you had lands directly ruled by the Church. Never mind that you also had rather different systems of organization elsewhere in the world, like in the Islamic world, India, the Americas, and of course, China's quite literal bureaucracy where civil servants hired based on their performance in examinations did most of the day-to-day governing of China; dynasties could come and go but the bureaucracy was eternal. Tolkien was himself, of course, a medievalist with very deep knowledge of the time period, even by today's standards, with our rather improved access to knowledge of the time period. Warhammer was created by history nerds who very much knew what they were writing about and so populated the world of Warhammer Fantasy with references to just about every political system that predominated in the medieval and renaissance periods as well as a lot of those that predominated in antiquity. So not only does Medieval Stasis perpetuate an annoying degree of sameness in the fantasy genre, it also tends to be based on a conception of medieval times that's not only essentially completely limited to France + England with some scattered references to other stuff, but is also almost completely wrong about everything and doesn't even scratch the surface of the depth of medieval history.
==Some general historical points==
One thing that should be known is that no one group of people has a monopoly on innovation. You have some stodgy conservative societies with "revere your ancestors and their wisdom" and "If It Ain't Broke Don't Fix It" mentalities which hinders improvements and those which value innovation and believe in progress for the sake of progress and various groups in between, but nobody has been so dedicated to stagnation that they would shun all attempts at improvement in perpetuity. Civilizations which don't keep up tend to be conquered by those that do. Actual resistance to the adoption of new technologies is typically not to the effect of people in authority demanding the inventors or the presenters of the new breakthrough be burned at the stakes for witchcraft; instead, generally, it would be more to the effect of seeing a new device and declaring it to be an interesting novelty, but be reticent to adopting it because doing so would be expensive and its benefits are still unclear, that there is not a particularly pressing need to improve that field right now, that it might be profitable in one sense but on the other hand it might destabilize the social order of things that has stood for centuries which can result in social unrest as people which profit from the current set up become redundant or that this beneficial machinery might come with complications that leave them in the pockets of foreign powers (buying spare parts for their machines or importing foreign fuel). Concerns which generally do have at least a kernel of truth to them (example: industrialization leading to the rise of a prominent bourgeoisie which eclipses the landed nobility), and the attitude that they often engender is to adopt changes gradually, "on their own terms". Other factors are general xenophobia and resistance to the ideas of Methodological Naturalism as opposed to Dogmatism, though even these are not absolute barriers.

Most improvements don't come in big breakthroughs made by some lone mastermind; a [[Stone Age|genius hunter/gatherer]] did not one day decide [[Bronze Age|"Lets start clearing out land, plowing it and sowing it with seeds and capturing animals to breed so we can have all the food we want"]]. That process took thousands of years, starting with little things such as weeding patches of wild food plants which were gradually added onto with other practices until you got farming as we'd understand it, with silos, farmhouses, fields, plows, pens of livestock, irrigation ditches, and so forth. Improvements can come about by people trying to be more thrifty, having to do with less of a previously common resource, more of a specific resource becoming available or by minor accidental variations. The idea that technology comes all at once from super special smart people ex nihilo instead of being born of conditions produced by years of decisions made by everyone down to the lowliest peasant is something born of a combination of fiction being kind of clumsy at showing things at a societal instead of an individual level and basically hagiographic propaganda about how great some inventor was (while almost invariably not crediting all the people who helped them), with a bit of market campaigning meant to make you think that a slightly faster electric toothbrush is some massive revolution. If you look at society as a product of decisions made by the masses under conditions, rather than some smart guy having a great idea, questions of why some people didn't invent some things become much easier to answer.

Certain technologies and conditions are conducive towards innovation. Let's look at the history of literacy, paper, printing, and the scientific method, for example. If your tribe can farm you have support some artisans who spend all their time weaving, making pots and tools, building boats, working wood, etc. These guys and gals know more about their field of expertise and work out ways of doing it more efficiently. Writing (developed to keep inventory records) means that ideas can be passed down from generation to generation more effectively. Mathematics (ditto) is a major boon to construction and later engineering. Movable type means that both are more readily available to the masses. The scientific mindset is also a valuable aid in this regard and is allowed to flourish because the greater spread of reading pushed by the movable type press and the adoption of paper makes it easier to become educated as well as record the results of experiments and share them with others. Before you had paper and printing presses, writing surfaces were expensive and all copying had to be done by hand. Afterwards, you could print newspapers, books of natural philosophy and manuals for the operation of machines.

What does this mean for the scientific method? Well in this era to have a great, world renown library meant having one thousand or so books and generally they were chained to the library to prevent people from stealing them because they were literally worth their weight in gold. Today a random middle class bookworm could easily have more than a thousand books given some time to collect them, and the really big libraries have literally tens of millions of paper documents. So the massive paper trail of the modern scientific method was simply not affordable, and the need for manual copying basically kneecaps peer review. But with cheap paper, a greater number of people able to afford it thanks to black death induced changes to Feudal Europe, and printing presses science as we now know it could really get into motion.

Refinements in existing technologies can be a prerequisite to the development of new technologies. As an example, the Romans knew the basic principle of how to make a steam engine and even how to put rotary power to work (having watermills for grinding grain and sawing wood) but they could not apply that technology because they lacked the ability to cast iron as they lacked proper blast furnaces, something you need to be good at doing to make one which is actually useful. The steam engines known to the Mediterranean world at the time were basically fancy toys for the idle rich. The Chinese had the technology to theoretically make steam engines, but the issue tended to be a lack of substantial need as well as China's bad habit of periodically exploding into colossal gigadeath civil wars. The Song Dynasty might have sparked the need for such technologies as they were rapidly transitioning towards a highly commercialised economy and out of the bounds of feudalism and were starting to run into issues of demand outpacing the ability of work to meet, [[Genghis motherfucking Khan|but things didn't go too great for them.]]

Finally there is the matter of Diffusion, the spread of technology from one country or civilisation to another if they are in contact with each other. This can be done directly (kidnapping a blacksmith and telling him to train up some of your bronzesmiths to work iron and beat him if he does not comply) or indirectly (a trader from the next kingdom over comes into town with a donkey pulling a wheeled cart, a carpenter sees this, thinks it's a good idea and decides to try to make one himself). There is no point in reinventing the wheel from log rollers on up when you can just copy someone else's work. Moreover if the idea spreads there will be a hell of a lot of people working on it making wheels coming to useful improvements by accidents, making refinements and big breakthroughs which will in turn spread again. If you started in Portugal and went east through Spain, France, Italy, the Balkans, Greece, Turkey, The Fertile Crescent, Iran, Pakistan, India, Indochina and China, you'd come across a series of well developed civilizations that had existed for thousands of years and each one had dealings with their neighbors. Ideas that started in India or Rome or Greece flowed along that pathway to be taken and refined elsewhere.

tl;dr: Stop being lazy and go read Guns, Germs and Steel.

=== Fantasy authors are bad Medievalists and historians, part 2 ===

The vision of medieval times that exists in fantasy is a gigantic pile of anachronisms, pop-history, and misconceptions. Much of this is due to Fantasy's scope of time being seriously out of whack even without innovations like gunpowder or industrial technology. See, our monkey brains aren't very good at really comprehending spans of time longer than a handful of decades. So we tend to mash up entire "eras" of history into indistinct blobs in our headspace, even though the entire concept of a historical era is more or less for academic convenience and categorization. Charlemagne's Empire was as far back in the past relative to Joan of Arc as she is to the present day. And technology and culture certainly did not remain static in those intervening seven hundred years. Paris went from a fairly small city of a few tens of thousands to a bustling metropolis of nearly a quarter of a million people, mail or banded armour was largely replaced by solid plated armour, gunpowder was popularised, sugar was introduced to the European diet, the Magyars went from eastern horseback-mounted pagan invaders to a solidly Catholic and Europeanised mainstay of central Europe as the Hungarians, and eastern Europe was Christianised in a rather gory and unpleasant process, to name just a few of the drastic changes over the years. Of course, any Crusader Kings 2 player could tell you how ridiculous the idea of the political map of a faux-medieval realm remaining static for centuries is.

Let's now take the common complaint among Fantasy authors that guns render castles and knights in shining armour obsolete. Full Plate armour coexisted with man-portable gunpowder weapons throughout literally the entirety of its military service and was phased out because of reasons of cost as armies got bigger, not because it was ineffective against guns. Making a fully articulated suit of plate armour fitted to every soldier is expensive and time consuming, so as armies got more standardised as countries centralised, with equipment being given by the military rather than soldiers being left to figure it out themselves, it was deemed easier to just give people the basics needed to protect their bodies. In that case, ditching the limb armor to reduce costs while keeping the helmet and breastplate like the Swiss Landsknecht and the Spanish Tercio. Hell: in Japan, the increasing prevalence of guns is what made the Samurai go from only partially metallic lamellar armour to full metal plated suits in the first place.

Furthermore, Plate armour by and large did not coexist with other types of metallic armour. It straight up replaced them all because it was just flatly better. Whether it's just a breastplate, a suit of half-plate (half referring to how much of the body is protected), or full plate, there was basically zero reason to wear anything else. Once the metal casting technology for plate armour became widespread, other forms of armour largely disappeared save for covering joint areas because plate armour is simply better in every way and is cheaper to make. Full coats of mail or scale didn't coexist with efficiently made plate armour; there's no need for a chain shirt when a solid steel breastplate offers superior protection for no downside, and full plate is actually considerably more comfortable and lighter than a full coat of mail. So that adventuring party where the Barbarian is wearing chainmail for mobility and the fighter is wearing full plate to tank better at the cost of agility? Simply didn't happen. You're mixing your dark ages and your late medieval/renaissance era armour styles. Mixing armor did, however, happen with conquistadors, and ''may'' have occurred with other small groups of fighting men. This was due purely to costs, not armor types having pros and cons, as used obsolete gear was far cheaper than armor anyone actually wanted. The equipment log for the 287 combatant Coronado expedition lists five suits of full plate (four belonging to Coronado himself), four suits of plate armor for horses (all Coronado's), 16 sets of partial plate, 56 pieces of sleeveless chain armor for the torso (two vests only), one suit of sleeved chain armor, and 250 gambesons. Archaeologists have found a medieval kettle hat in New Mexico, which would have been obsolete for hundreds of years before it got there.

As for Castles, anyone who seriously believed that cannons made strong walls obsolete would be laughed out of any gunpowder-era military engineering course; hell, even as late as the World Wars, fixed fortifications were a very daunting task for artillery to try and crack and often required specialist super heavy guns or ultra high penetration air-dropped bombs to break. After the development of gunpowder artillery, contemporary militaries simply converted their castles into star forts or polygonal fortresses (where the walls are made sloped and are backed by a lot of sloped compressed dirt. Meanwhile, in China, average city walls were already several meters thick and filled with lots of compressed dirt and gravel compared to the famous walls of Constantinople (which were two to three meters thick at best and less stuffed). This meant that the Chinese had less incentive to refine their artillery for centuries (which came back to backfire on them when modern howitzers were used against them by the Europeans when they sent out colonial expeditions). Have you ever heard the term Forlorn Hope? It refers to the supremely unfortunate soldiers who get the job of being the first to rush into the breach of a fortress when after what is typically days, weeks, or even months of non-stop cannon fire they ''finally'' break open one of the walls. Which is rather obviously a suicide mission for the first wave. If it were easy to crack open fortresses with cannonades there would be no need for them.

What actually changed about Castles is that as countries became more centralised, control over military forts passed unto the Kingdom/Empire proper and out of the hands of local nobles, meaning that fortresses largely stopped also being houses for the resident Baron or Count of whatever. This had the benefit of ensuring that local nobles had a harder time rebelling because the fortresses were loyal to the Capital, rather than being their private property. It wasn't until well into the 20th century with the invention of the atomic fucking bomb that a line of fixed fortifications was no longer regarded as a serious obstacle to a truly determined attacker and that was only if the attacker was willing and able to drop one on the battlefield. With conventional munitions, even today with all our missiles and precision weapons, a fortified line is something that most attackers would rather bypass than breach. Of course, most defenders know this and essentially use fortifications to funnel attackers into battlefields of their choosing.

And what about industrial technology? Surely that has no place in my pre-modern setting or would be obsoleted by magic! That too was driven in large part by increased centralisation. Artisanal production is relatively fine if you never need to send products very far away from where they're made and are only meeting relatively small amounts of local demand and the occasional distant but super wealthy patron. But as realms centralise and unify and economies grow interconnected, suddenly monks copying maybe a handful of books a year at a premium isn't enough to meet the needs for more literature. You need higher output, which leads to factorification of production which requires growing mechanisation of production to ensure that quality remains consistent. This drives the greater reliance on machines in producing things and these machines make it easier to make better machines until you can meet the demand or until you get to the point where you're starting to reach the limitations of your power source like wind, muscle, or waterpower. As medieval societies got bigger, you saw more windmills and watermills to get more power for all this work.

Fantasy settings, however, offer magic and alchemy which should realistically, unless there are heavy restrictions on the commonality of either, make for ideal power sources to make for even better machines until you end up in industrialism via such powers. Whether they do this on their own or are used to augment mundane technology is mostly irrelevant. And indeed, powerful mages and alchemists are likely to end up as the predominant class as they control access to these all important resources. So societies that don't want to rely on either would likely double down on trying to find alternatives to having to rely on them, much like how Merchants pushed for quite a lot of what we take for granted in modern society to wriggle out from the thumb of the Aristocracy, like moving centres of production into cities not owned by nobles so they didn't have to pay the local Baron and would have better access to labourers not tied to the land as they sought to maximise profit in their class interest.

Societies are products of the conditions in which they exist. Things are the way they are because of responses to needs and pressures or perceived needs and pressures. They are never really static because the wheel of history is constantly turning and even something as simple as fluctuations in population size can result in radical transformations. Did a big war just depopulate a country in a fantasy setting? Well, gee whiz, now the labourers in the country have a much greater position of power and influence due to the scarcity of their services, which can lead to undermining the entire basis of medieval feudalism and pave the way for late Feudalism or even early Capitalism. Or perhaps something else entirely if the setting conditions allow for it (probably not a regression to Classical era slavery though; that required huge surpluses of labour.)

==Why the Medieval Stasis of the Post-Roman Middle Ages Ended==

In our own world, there were several critical developments which dramatically altered the status quo and led to the disruption of Medieval Stasis. These were:

* '''Printing:''' The invention of printing resulted in an upswing of literacy and education across all but the lowest classes of society. Greater availability of religious texts immediately caused schisms in Christianity as its foundational texts were scrutinized, while broadsheets and pamphleteering became the first form of ostensibly independent "news" through which the masses could be swayed to one view or another. The church had been instrumental in raising people to subscribe to the status quo and its disruption left the system it was propping up vulnerable.
* '''Casting & Gunpowder:''' These two technologies were linked at the hip. Gunpowder weaponry was powerful, but also expensive and complicated to make (cannons are generally cast, and once you can cast guns you can cast all kinds of new things). It made feudalism untenable; no longer could a lord have his smith hammer out some weapons and outfit some men at arms. Instead he paid taxes (bastard feudalism) so the king could buy guns made by...
* '''Craft Guilds (the Emergence of a Middle Class):''' The increasing complexity of creating of arms and desired goods drove the formation of labor organizations specifically focused on production; all kinds of production from guns to fabrics to ships and everything else. As these organizations gained wealth, they gained power and with it an awareness of the their importance relative to the importance of their supposed betters; this awareness found its outlet in the growing public forum fueled by printing.
* '''Fractional Investment:''' With craft guilds and casting, economies were primed to begin growing rapidly, beyond the ability of the nobility to retain control or even complete awareness of what was going on. Into this the growing artisan classes (particularly in the Netherlands) threw in the concept of modern investment, allowing individuals of lower means to participate in larger endeavors at reasonable risk. Whether it was building polders or sending ships on trading missions or establishing businesses, this lit a fuse for explosive economic growth which ultimately made feudalism (and its tendency to maintain the status quo) economically obsolete.

While there were innumerable other factors, these were major destabilizing elements that individually might have been coped with, but in concert made change inevitable. In designing a medieval setting, care must be given to the degree of technology that is introduced. As a general rule anything which cannot be created by the labor of a single person (excluding buildings, anyway), is liable to begin a chain reaction of economic activity which transfers wealth (and thus, power) away from a landholding nobility to a middle, merchant class.

This is why Venice with its shipbuilders and traders was the birthplace of the Renaissance. Unlike all the rest of Europe, Venice never succumbed to medieval stasis from feudalism; instead it succumbed to something resembling anarcho-capitalism. The middle merchant class of wealthy citizens (citizen in the Roman/Byzantine sense) grew so powerful so fast from shipbuilding and trade that they engaged in centuries of backstabbing and petty power grabs. In feudalistic countries, you were rich ''because you were king''... in Venice you were Doge ''because you were rich'' and had used your money to bribe/threaten/murder enough people to make you Doge.

==Notable Examples of Medieval Stasis==

*'''[[Lord of the Rings]]:''' Tolkien wasn't too fond of industrialization, having seen the First World War's highly industrialized warfare and the pollution-spewing effects of the Industrial and Transportation Revolutions on his native countryside up close and personal, so the heroes of his stories preferred Medieval Stasis as well, barring a few anachronisms like clocks and matches. Unlike most of the writers that he inspired, Tolkien had [[Fluff|five hundred pages of background]] explaining why, namely because Middle-earth was in a state of decline due to the ravages of Morgoth and Sauron, the gradual decline of the elves and the Dunedain after the downfall of Numenor, and much of their technology was given to them by the Valar rather than inventing it themselves, and is intended as a mythological history of the world that ultimately explains why humans are on top and everyone else is gone. The funny thing is, based on supplementary books and scrapped stories, Numenor came quite close to being a Steampunk world power, equipped with steamships and even rockets, which, in their decadent colonialist period, they promptly used to imperialize the shit out of much of the world in a manner that led to their ultimate downfall. Indeed, that's why Harad, Rhun, Khand and other humans hate Gondor so much. The Numenorian ancestors of Gondor's people were taking them for [[Chaos Dwarfs|industrial-level human sacrifices]] and doing other atrocities to them, so the descendants of their victims still hold genocidal hatred (abetted by Sauron playing all sides against each other). Also, it's worth mentioning that Tolkien designed his setting as a literal Earth backstory myth, so technically the age of industrialisation and modernisation will start in Middle-Earth anyway.
* '''[[A Song of Ice and Fire]]:''' Westeros is ''extra'' static, because not only has everything been fairly stable for thousands of years until the Great Fuckening of the current time frame, some ''individual families'' have had unbroken rule over their lands for a hundred odd generations (The Starks being the prime example, as they have ruled in Winterfell for over ''eight thousand years'') which is something patently absurd when you consider how much real life royal, imperial, and noble families have had to struggle to avoid patrilineal extinction in just a few centuries, with the oldest still extant aristocratic house being the Japanese house of Yamato and even then it's likely that they bent the rules of succession at least once in their 2500 year history. That said, it should be noted that part of the backstory involves the Bronze Age First Men defeating the Stone Age Children of the Forest, who were themselves conquered by the Iron Age Andal invaders everywhere but in the Iron Islands and the North (who adapted and adopted the technology of their would-be conquerors), and the records of the ancient days are spotty at best, full of mythical accounts and many of the Maesters believe that said events happened over a shorter timeframe. Granted, the whole "millenia old houses" might be something that tended to happen with noble houses IRL claming to be much older than they actually were and could not being contradicted in the absence of reliable records, all the way to the Ethiopian "Solomonids" that still exist to this day, and the aforementioned Yamato being helped by the fact that Japan did not have reliable calendars until the late 19th century, so there's that. While the exact timespan between the Andal invasion and the current events isn't exactly established, the stasis is still quite bad especially when you consider how dragons (essentially domesticated flying animals) are present yet people are none wiser on things such as flight or the use of heat and steam in proto-industrial activities.
* '''[[Forgotten Realms]]:''' Not only have things been more-or-less exactly the same for all of recorded history, there is a powerful, international, theoretically-good-or-at-least-neutral organization actively devoted to making sure that ''no progress of any kind is ever made'': the Harpers. Whenever anyone invents something useful (guns, locomotion, steel plows, etc.) and tries to market it, the Harpers confiscate it and make it clear they'll kill the creator and their whole family if they don't go back to being a happy little peasant. Whenever a good-aligned king tries to unite and stabilize the warring states, the Harpers murder his ass (makes one wonder if the Harpers aren't part of the problem). Faerun hasn't budged an inch since Ao glued it together. The only exception to this was the island nation of [[Lantan]]. The island was a theocratic state in service to Gond Wonderbringer, a deity whose portfolio included innovation and technology, who gifted his followers with knowledge of smokepowder which lead to functional in-setting [[firearm|firearms]]. At least until 4th edition blew it up along with everything else fun or interesting in the Forgotten Realms. As of 5th edition, the current (albeit scattered and/or vague) lore seems to imply that Lantan's destruction has been retconned like the rest of the Spellplague.
* '''[[Greyhawk]]:''' Despite the impotent bitching on the page for this [[Old School Roleplaying|oldest-of-the-old school]] settings, it also has a society where nothing much ever has happened or will happen to bring about changes in the lifestyles of its inhabitants. And ''this'' is the setting with [[Murlynd| a literal god of Old West gunfighting]] and an army of [[firearm]]-toting [[gunslinger|paladins analogous to sheriffs]].
* '''[[Dragonlance]]:''' Apocalyptic calamities come and go, but Krynn stays at pretty much the same level of pseudo-medieval tech forever, world without end, amen. And, no the [[Gnomes|tinker gnomes]] do ''not'' count, since their stuff almost never does anything useful, gets mass-produced, or catches on outside the gnomes themselves. In fact, some material explicitly says that the reason for the stasis is '''because''' of the fucking gnomes; their absolute idiocy when it comes to producing technology has actually convinced pretty much every other culture on the planet that science is fundamentally inferior in every way to sorcery! The one culture that doesn't think they're entirely a waste of time is only interested because it pretty much hates magic... and is made of a bunch of knight-in-shining-armor types so hidebound that they haven't been able to properly fix their organization since the first Cataclysm, and so anything like vehicles or gunpowder is certain to get dismissed on grounds of being "dishonorable". So, yeah, '''fuck''' tinker gnomes.
* '''[[Warcraft]]:''' In a cartoony match for the Dragonlance example above, Azeroth's many factions never adopt one another's technological advancements. Goblins and gnomes can invent as many steampunk robots as they want, none of their stuff will ever change the world in a concrete way. Even the aliens are mostly just sword-and-sorcery types using magic for space travel and other advanced projects. That said, firearms had established themselves in the comparatively recent past.
*'''[[Ravenloft]]:''' This is probably the most interesting example. The Demiplane of Dread doesn't so much "advance" as it does "absorb some place where things are a little more complicated," and most of the Domains of Dread are already tailor-made just to torture their prisoners (and the Darklords can also choose to simply seal off all access to their Domains entirely when they're not just isolated by the Mists). Thus, though individual Domains might be advanced enough for common people to have firearms and gaslights or so primitive that they aren't even ''into'' the Stone Age (King Crocodile for the win!), they will almost never learn from or assimilate one another's technology even on the rare chance xenophobia doesn't get in the way first. Each Domain will be mostly frozen into the level it's at, medieval or not. Amusingly, this works both ways: technologically-advanced societies are no more likely to take up magic than lower-tech ones are to learn to use gunpowder. There's a notable exception in the Rokushima Táiyoo, which is listed as "Dark Age", but said to find the gunpowder weapons of Dementlieu "tantalizing".
*'''[[Star Wars]]:''' Not medieval, but absolutely in technological stasis in the Old Republic. In the 4000 years, the only thing that has noticeably improved is hyperdrives which have become faster and smaller. This would eventually be justified by a devastating war ~1100 years before the original film bringing about a dark age that killed several major technology companies and destroyed any FTL communication (sans courier) past the core worlds. This does ''not'' however apply to the period of 36 years covered by the films and the decades after it covered by the Expanded Universe (see below). There are some in-universe technological achievements that supposedly result in better results (the kolto made by an isolationist monopoly being replaced by the superior bacta made by multiple rival cartels, for instance, as the flesh-healing miracle drug), but none of them are really noticeable through the window the audience sees.
*'''[[Dune]]:''' One of the major inspirations for ''Star Wars'' (and [[Warhammer 40K]]). At some point in the past, AI went rogue and humanity's struggle against it became a literal holy war (the Butlerian Jihad), after it ended, development of any "thinking machines" was banned by religious fiat. As a result, technological and scientific development has slowed to a crawl, new technology is seen as suspicious, the "[[Drug|Spice]]" from Arrakis allows people to become human supercomputers, expanded lifetimes, and have space folding, so there was no desire to experiment and find alternatives, the development of personal shields made every other weapon outdated except for melee weapons (unless you shoot a [[lasgun]] into a shield, then the [[Exterminatus|shooter, the target, and the surrounding landscape are deleted in a massive explosion]]) and the Bene Gesserit and Navigator's Guild collaborated to set up a feudalistic government with full knowledge that it would be easier to control. However, the main plot of the series is eventually revealed to be about making humanity escape this stagnation.
*'''[[Warhammer Fantasy Battles]]:''' Bretonnia is literally in Medieval Stasis despite having one of the most technologically-advanced nations right next door. The Elves of all types give no fucks about advancing their technology, but in their defense what they have still works, they have access to giant monsters such as dragons and hydras and the Dark Elves at least have progressed from bows to rapid-fire armor-piercing crossbows. The Warriors of Chaos are again literally medieval, but in their case they're Medieval [[Vikings]] who get supplied with advanced tech by the Chaos Dwarf allies or demons. Orcs have not been introduced to the wonders of "Dakka" yet; the Lizardmen still use wood and stone but make up for it by also using dinosaurs and the best magic in their world. Lastly, the Ogres are pretty much in "Stone Age Stasis" as they're not very intelligent but under Overtyrant Greasus started to discover the benefits of commerce. Human nations outside of Bretonnia are at the tail end of the Renaissaince, while the Empire of Man is in slowly fighting through the early Enlightenment but they are under constant attack from various Eldritch horrors so progress is existent but slow. The only races that have had any technological developments on a grand scale are the Skaven and Dwarfs, and more so the Chaos Dwarfs. Unfortunately, most of the inventions of the Skaven end up blowing up in their face, and the Dwarfs are reluctant to share their technology with anybody other than the Empire of Man and must be centuries old before the guilds allow it to be mass-produced. The Chaos Dwarfs' technology is run on daemon souls and bloody sacrifices. You can see why others have not copied them.
** The undead factions are an interesting case. The Vampire Counts vary with Luthor Harkon's pirate fleets using blackpowder weapons while outside that the most advanced technology seen in that faction was crossbows. The Tomb Kings had varying technology, with their most technologically advanced city, Lybaras, reaching the steampunk level. Also, they have superhuman abilities and being undead eliminates many of the needs that lead people to develop technology (no need to develop automation when undead laborers don't get tired or bored and if their bodies wear out they get repaired with magic, no need for medicine because most diseases don't effect undead and non-vampire undead don't need sustenance) and they also have magic and monsters.
** Not that any of this matters because the entire world got nuked by the Chaos Gods. The sequel setting, Age of Sigmar, has the successor factions be at roughly the same level as they were at the End Times, but stuff has become understood enough that Steam Tanks and Cannons won't randomly blow up as often and can be reliably mass produced, and it should be pointed out that Mass Production is itself a game changer. Stasis is more then raw technology: it is as much application. The Kharadron Overlords have surpassed steampunk via magic punk. The setting also has more-widely-available magic than the Old World did, significantly changing and improving the qualify of life of its inhabitants (in theory, in practice it's still pretty bad due to Chaos, [[Nagash]], Greenskin and giant rampages and the realms being pretty fucked up places even when those three aren't involved, even Azyr is under a heavy dictatorship to prevent chaos of both lowercase c and capital C varieties).

==Notable Settings ''Without'' Medieval Stasis==

*'''[[Warhammer Fantasy Battles]]:''' The Empire and the Dwarfs are actually about the level of most European countries around 1500, at the start of the early modern period and the Renaissance. They're also advancing, albeit slowly, but the problem is that they are under constant Chaos invasions and Chaos Gods themselves are not above screwing with the world, which puts something of a crimp on pure research. Imagine what Nurgle would do to the guy who discovered penicillin in this world. The fact that relations between the engineers and the Cult of Sigmar are not the best in the world does not help things at all. The other notable technology users are the Skaven, but the Skaven technology only affects their weapons (god help the world if they ever figure out sanitation considering what it did to our own population) and it's almost all magitech based on weaponizing [[Warpstone|solidified Chaos.]] Undead straddle the line between the two, with the vampires not being afraid to use technology; the problem is most of their undead minions lack the physical and mental acumen to use it while the vampires physical, mental and magical abilities make technology practically redundant to them at a personal level. The [[Tomb Kings]] had technology at the steampunk level, though this isn't represented in the game, but they are more concerned about rebuilding their realm, which has fallen into disrepair due to hundreds of years of civil war and no maintenance, rather than advancing their society. They do have something like robots in the form of their magically animated undead constructs.
*'''[[Iron Kingdoms]]:''' The Iron Kingdoms setting is one of the best examples of steampunk fantasy. They're developed to the extent of the Victorian era (the mid-to-late 1800s), with a slow-but-growing industrial revolution and the discovery and development of electricity and chemistry, with the ongoing big international clusterfuck behind the wargame constantly fueling magical and technological advancement. At the same time, it remains a recognizably fantasy setting in many ways, with wizard orders, barbarian tribes, and dangerous monster threats on the frontier demanding plucky-adventurer solutions. (Or did before the wheels came off partway through Third Edition to make way for [[Starfinder| the science fiction spin-off nobody wanted]]. Still isn't medieval stasis though.)
*'''[[Eberron]]:''' Eberron is weird and expressly focused on subverting the usual D&D cliches, so the technology is a strange mixture of all eras with a side order of JRPG-style magitech. It's one of the few settings that avoids both medieval stasis and outright steampunk, since magic is so common that it has effectively displaced technology, but unlike most settings, this manifests as mass ''availability'' of magic conveniences. As there is no continuity and by default every game starts at exactly the same point in time as every other game, in 998 YK, [[Advancing the Storyline| there's no real status quo to worry about upsetting]]. Only modules/novels that are direct sequels ever reference the events of other modules/novels as having happened.
*'''[[Dark Sun]]:''' A weird example. Depending on edition, the past of Athas may have included anything from a standard fantasy setting to a bio-mechanical halfling empire. But, either way, the Brown Age is a barbaric decline of these past glories, with little metal and no feasible way of shaping more leaving the world in an oddly-civilized nigh-Stone Age. Still, there is an undercurrent of rebuilding and reforming throughout the more-heroic-minded books on the setting, helped by the same eventual anti-continuity Eberron had, so the idea that things ''could'' progress or get better isn't ''impossible''.
*'''[[Ironclaw]]:''' The once-fantasy world is undergoing a pseudo-Renaissance shift away from magic and feudalism to machinery and Italian-style guild-republics. PCs are actually explicitly part of the burgeoning new middle class. Not bad for a furry RPG, huh?
*'''[[Mystara]]:''' Depending on where you are, there might be airships, magic-powered technological conveniences, and drill-tanks to explore the hollow earth full of dinosaurs. Either way, things are a little less generic here in proto-Eberron.
*'''[[Pathfinder]]:''' [[Golarion]] features relatively advanced technologies such as flintlock and matchlock firearms, the printing press, galleons (crewed by pirates reminiscent of the Golden Age of piracy in the Caribbean), and, in certain sourcebooks, [[Spelljammer|steampunk/magi-tech spaceships]]. Not to mention the number of people whose clothes and equipment are explicitly based on 18th-century fashions (see, among others, Andoran, Taldor, and Alkenstar). At least one source (''05-13: Hellknight's Feast'') says high class dwellings have actual porcelain toilets. Also, there's that one random corner of the world where aliens are trying to peacefully settle and/or invade, only to realize they picked the *one* corner of the world where pleas of "We come in peace!" are met with [[Barbarian|warcries and the judicious application of battleaxes to various vital areas]]. One sourcebook (''Technology Guide'') includes *lots* of super-high-tech stuff and different class archetypes that make use of it. On the socio-political front, the Chelaxian breakaways Andoran and Galt have started to push for a less aristocratic government. Come second edition, cannons have become widespread on naval vessels.
**And '''[[Starfinder]]''' reveals that at least at some point various sci-fi technologies will be developed.
*'''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]''': It was true in the past, but by the time of the original series the Fire Nation has become an industrial power, complete with colonial ambitions towards the rest of the world. In fact, the main character's previous incarnation as Avatar Roku actually ''stopped'' the Fire Nation from breaking medieval stasis ''because'' he foresaw that doing so would mean allowing them to subjugate all the other peoples and Sozin, the Fire Lord during this industrial age, confirmed that was the plan hoping Roku would join him. Sure enough, after Sozin gets rid of Roku, the Fire Nation immediately goes all Imperial Japan on the world, and the next Avatar turned out to be an Airbender who ran from the genocide of his people, which is perfectly sensible because even if they weren't the designated pacifist culture, he was literally 12 and had no way of meaningfully stopping them (''yet''). Even the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes have a few tinkerers and inventors, and during the time of Avatar Aang, the first airships and submarines are invented, albeit the magitek varieties. At the end of the show, the protagonist Avatar Aang makes peace between all three surviving factions and begins the reestablishment of the aforementioned genocided faction, and the sequel reveals that doing so helped the world advance to a roughly 20s/30s era of technology, complete with automobiles, moving pictures, the printing press, political propaganda videos, and cronyist democracy.
*'''[[Dragonmech]]''': Dragonmech's setting used to be in Medieval Stasis, then chunks of the moon started to rain down on them along with Alien Moon Dragons riding the rocks down for a full-on invasion, people first hide underground but then a dwarf kickstarts the creation of Pacific Rim sized steampunk robots to fight the Dragons and the whole world is now in a full-on steam-powered Industrial Revolution without the gunpowder.
*'''[[Star Wars]]:''' Outside of the period between the start of the New Sith Wars (2000 BBBY) to the Ruusan Reformation (1000 BBY) (where everyone was too busy killing eachother, even more so than usual), technology actually ''does'' advance noticeably throughout Post-Reformation Old Republic and especially the prequels (32 BBY onward) all the way to the era of the Legacy comics (138 ABY). Hyperdrives improve (in speed, how small a craft they can fit in and how big a craft they can propel) at a much faster rate than they did in the 1000 years since the end of the dark age. It's not just direct improvements either, with new technologies like [[Android]]s, relatively cheap cloaking devices that don't require unobtainum, silent and invisible blasters, biological technology merged with mechanical tech, and more. Even military strategy changes significantly between back and forth transitions between symmetrical and asymmetrical warfare. Amazingly all this occurs organically as new technology is introduced to allow a plot and gets improved upon in future installments.
*'''[[Masque of the Red Death|Gothic Earth]]''': Perhaps the ultimate aversion as Gothic Earth follows real world technological history of tech development ''almost'' exactly, even stating players can only obtain certain items after a certain point in time. Ordinarily this wouldn't be notable, as Gothic Earth is still Earth, but [[RPGA|Living Death]] included some technology that was explicitly anachronistic, such as submarines capable of cross Atlantic voyages and long term submerging, and a few people who have lived somewhat longer.

[[Category:History]]
[[Category:Gamer Slang]]

Medieval Stasis

2021-02-13T15:53:19Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* Notable Examples of Medieval Stasis */

{{Topquote|[[Eberron]] in 998 YK is based on the idea that ''civilization is evolving''.|Keith Baker, explaining why Eberron is not a normal campaign setting.}}
'''Medieval Stasis''' describes the state of essentially all fantasy worlds that never get to [[steampunk]], and a crucial component of the [[standard fantasy setting]].

As the title implies, most fantasy worlds are stuck at a technological level roughly equivalent to Europe between 1000 CE and 1500 CE, being more advanced in some fields and more primitive in others, until the universe collapses. A [[knight]]'s ancestors five thousand years ago fought against Orcs on the back of a great warhorse, wielding [[sword]] and lance, wearing plate and a greathelm, just as he does at present and how his descendants 25 generations down the line will. At best, some groups in the universe may be more advanced than others (some peoples might be building castles and forging plate armor while others live as primitive cave men armed with flint axes and stone tipped spears), but nobody will be developing new technology, or, on the off chance one or two factions are, it will never spread much or catch on anywhere else. This also applies to social structures such as feudalism, with a max of one non-Greco-Roman democracy per setting. It will be conquered and restored from edition to edition as fanboys war behind the scenes.

While it is not, in and of itself, a bad thing, as it creates a set mood and style of play, we run into the fact that many writers are hacks, and use it to both rip-off other writers (principally, Tolkien) and to [[Advancing the Storyline|keep the world stagnant enough that they don't risk smashing something people actually like that they didn't have the skill to ''realize'' they shouldn't smash, while still maintaining the illusion of forward momentum]]. The ''[[Forgotten Realms]]'' is a prime example of this, featuring both several powerful organizations out to stifle any attempt to progress the technological or socioeconomic advancement of the setting, and many lame-brained "advances" in story from edition to edition, most infamously with 4th edition's "Spellplague" and retconned twin planet where all the new 4e races were hiding.

A common thing among fantasy writers is treating firearms of any kind as a taboo. Many feel that featuring firearms would somehow ruin the medieval feeling despite the fact that firearms were used in the late medieval period (and in Warhammer.) Granted, [[neckbeards|many people's]] weapon history knowledge is such that they believe that having guns would immediately mean having AK-47s rather than merely having handcannons or matchlock muskets.

Note that in high-magic settings, sorcery sometimes gets so common and overpowered that it basically replaces technological progress. Why would you build robots or rockets if you can just create golems or cast Teleport Without Error?

Another issue with medieval stasis is that a lot of writers—most of them in fact—probably know less about the actual Middle Ages than the average Crusader Kings 2 player and thus present not only a world in medieval stasis but one that's in, at best, a theme-park version of the medieval period and quite often only really showing Anglo-French medievalism (and a bastardized shitfarmer version of it at that). The somewhat more historically literate might put in some anachronisms like references to ancient Greece, Egypt, and Rome, or to the Aztecs (usually a ramshackle mishmash of half remembered tidbits of the Mayans, Aztecs, and Inca thrown together with no real thought), and if you're extra lucky you might get something that's an extended reference to a (largely inaccurate) medieval Islamic polity or to the Holy Roman Empire, mixed in with the usual barbarian tribes, but that's usually about it. Like the Democracy thing mentioned above? It was nowhere near that simple in real life. A great many of the tribal societies we have records of were actually very democratic, where the King was elected and so were the chiefs below them and they absolutely did not have absolute authority over their subjects. And of course "feudalism" is simply a catch all label for a hugely varied and complicated array of societal organization systems that can be vaguely described as an aristocratic hierarchy based around land and military service and assorted ties of loyalty and bloodline.

And even in medieval Europe you had systems that broke the norm, like the merchant republics of Italy or the north German free cities, and of course you had lands directly ruled by the Church. Never mind that you also had rather different systems of organization elsewhere in the world, like in the Islamic world, India, the Americas, and of course, China's quite literal bureaucracy where civil servants hired based on their performance in examinations did most of the day-to-day governing of China; dynasties could come and go but the bureaucracy was eternal. Tolkien was himself, of course, a medievalist with very deep knowledge of the time period, even by today's standards, with our rather improved access to knowledge of the time period. Warhammer was created by history nerds who very much knew what they were writing about and so populated the world of Warhammer Fantasy with references to just about every political system that predominated in the medieval and renaissance periods as well as a lot of those that predominated in antiquity. So not only does Medieval Stasis perpetuate an annoying degree of sameness in the fantasy genre, it also tends to be based on a conception of medieval times that's not only essentially completely limited to France + England with some scattered references to other stuff, but is also almost completely wrong about everything and doesn't even scratch the surface of the depth of medieval history.
==Some general historical points==
One thing that should be known is that no one group of people has a monopoly on innovation. You have some stodgy conservative societies with "revere your ancestors and their wisdom" and "If It Ain't Broke Don't Fix It" mentalities which hinders improvements and those which value innovation and believe in progress for the sake of progress and various groups in between, but nobody has been so dedicated to stagnation that they would shun all attempts at improvement in perpetuity. Civilizations which don't keep up tend to be conquered by those that do. Actual resistance to the adoption of new technologies is typically not to the effect of people in authority demanding the inventors or the presenters of the new breakthrough be burned at the stakes for witchcraft; instead, generally, it would be more to the effect of seeing a new device and declaring it to be an interesting novelty, but be reticent to adopting it because doing so would be expensive and its benefits are still unclear, that there is not a particularly pressing need to improve that field right now, that it might be profitable in one sense but on the other hand it might destabilize the social order of things that has stood for centuries which can result in social unrest as people which profit from the current set up become redundant or that this beneficial machinery might come with complications that leave them in the pockets of foreign powers (buying spare parts for their machines or importing foreign fuel). Concerns which generally do have at least a kernel of truth to them (example: industrialization leading to the rise of a prominent bourgeoisie which eclipses the landed nobility), and the attitude that they often engender is to adopt changes gradually, "on their own terms". Other factors are general xenophobia and resistance to the ideas of Methodological Naturalism as opposed to Dogmatism, though even these are not absolute barriers.

Most improvements don't come in big breakthroughs made by some lone mastermind; a [[Stone Age|genius hunter/gatherer]] did not one day decide [[Bronze Age|"Lets start clearing out land, plowing it and sowing it with seeds and capturing animals to breed so we can have all the food we want"]]. That process took thousands of years, starting with little things such as weeding patches of wild food plants which were gradually added onto with other practices until you got farming as we'd understand it, with silos, farmhouses, fields, plows, pens of livestock, irrigation ditches, and so forth. Improvements can come about by people trying to be more thrifty, having to do with less of a previously common resource, more of a specific resource becoming available or by minor accidental variations. The idea that technology comes all at once from super special smart people ex nihilo instead of being born of conditions produced by years of decisions made by everyone down to the lowliest peasant is something born of a combination of fiction being kind of clumsy at showing things at a societal instead of an individual level and basically hagiographic propaganda about how great some inventor was (while almost invariably not crediting all the people who helped them), with a bit of market campaigning meant to make you think that a slightly faster electric toothbrush is some massive revolution. If you look at society as a product of decisions made by the masses under conditions, rather than some smart guy having a great idea, questions of why some people didn't invent some things become much easier to answer.

Certain technologies and conditions are conducive towards innovation. Let's look at the history of literacy, paper, printing, and the scientific method, for example. If your tribe can farm you have support some artisans who spend all their time weaving, making pots and tools, building boats, working wood, etc. These guys and gals know more about their field of expertise and work out ways of doing it more efficiently. Writing (developed to keep inventory records) means that ideas can be passed down from generation to generation more effectively. Mathematics (ditto) is a major boon to construction and later engineering. Movable type means that both are more readily available to the masses. The scientific mindset is also a valuable aid in this regard and is allowed to flourish because the greater spread of reading pushed by the movable type press and the adoption of paper makes it easier to become educated as well as record the results of experiments and share them with others. Before you had paper and printing presses, writing surfaces were expensive and all copying had to be done by hand. Afterwards, you could print newspapers, books of natural philosophy and manuals for the operation of machines.

What does this mean for the scientific method? Well in this era to have a great, world renown library meant having one thousand or so books and generally they were chained to the library to prevent people from stealing them because they were literally worth their weight in gold. Today a random middle class bookworm could easily have more than a thousand books given some time to collect them, and the really big libraries have literally tens of millions of paper documents. So the massive paper trail of the modern scientific method was simply not affordable, and the need for manual copying basically kneecaps peer review. But with cheap paper, a greater number of people able to afford it thanks to black death induced changes to Feudal Europe, and printing presses science as we now know it could really get into motion.

Refinements in existing technologies can be a prerequisite to the development of new technologies. As an example, the Romans knew the basic principle of how to make a steam engine and even how to put rotary power to work (having watermills for grinding grain and sawing wood) but they could not apply that technology because they lacked the ability to cast iron as they lacked proper blast furnaces, something you need to be good at doing to make one which is actually useful. The steam engines known to the Mediterranean world at the time were basically fancy toys for the idle rich. The Chinese had the technology to theoretically make steam engines, but the issue tended to be a lack of substantial need as well as China's bad habit of periodically exploding into colossal gigadeath civil wars. The Song Dynasty might have sparked the need for such technologies as they were rapidly transitioning towards a highly commercialised economy and out of the bounds of feudalism and were starting to run into issues of demand outpacing the ability of work to meet, [[Genghis motherfucking Khan|but things didn't go too great for them.]]

Finally there is the matter of Diffusion, the spread of technology from one country or civilisation to another if they are in contact with each other. This can be done directly (kidnapping a blacksmith and telling him to train up some of your bronzesmiths to work iron and beat him if he does not comply) or indirectly (a trader from the next kingdom over comes into town with a donkey pulling a wheeled cart, a carpenter sees this, thinks it's a good idea and decides to try to make one himself). There is no point in reinventing the wheel from log rollers on up when you can just copy someone else's work. Moreover if the idea spreads there will be a hell of a lot of people working on it making wheels coming to useful improvements by accidents, making refinements and big breakthroughs which will in turn spread again. If you started in Portugal and went east through Spain, France, Italy, the Balkans, Greece, Turkey, The Fertile Crescent, Iran, Pakistan, India, Indochina and China, you'd come across a series of well developed civilizations that had existed for thousands of years and each one had dealings with their neighbors. Ideas that started in India or Rome or Greece flowed along that pathway to be taken and refined elsewhere.

tl;dr: Stop being lazy and go read Guns, Germs and Steel.

=== Fantasy authors are bad Medievalists and historians, part 2 ===

The vision of medieval times that exists in fantasy is a gigantic pile of anachronisms, pop-history, and misconceptions. Much of this is due to Fantasy's scope of time being seriously out of whack even without innovations like gunpowder or industrial technology. See, our monkey brains aren't very good at really comprehending spans of time longer than a handful of decades. So we tend to mash up entire "eras" of history into indistinct blobs in our headspace, even though the entire concept of a historical era is more or less for academic convenience and categorization. Charlemagne's Empire was as far back in the past relative to Joan of Arc as she is to the present day. And technology and culture certainly did not remain static in those intervening seven hundred years. Paris went from a fairly small city of a few tens of thousands to a bustling metropolis of nearly a quarter of a million people, mail or banded armour was largely replaced by solid plated armour, gunpowder was popularised, sugar was introduced to the European diet, the Magyars went from eastern horseback-mounted pagan invaders to a solidly Catholic and Europeanised mainstay of central Europe as the Hungarians, and eastern Europe was Christianised in a rather gory and unpleasant process, to name just a few of the drastic changes over the years. Of course, any Crusader Kings 2 player could tell you how ridiculous the idea of the political map of a faux-medieval realm remaining static for centuries is.

Let's now take the common complaint among Fantasy authors that guns render castles and knights in shining armour obsolete. Full Plate armour coexisted with man-portable gunpowder weapons throughout literally the entirety of its military service and was phased out because of reasons of cost as armies got bigger, not because it was ineffective against guns. Making a fully articulated suit of plate armour fitted to every soldier is expensive and time consuming, so as armies got more standardised as countries centralised, with equipment being given by the military rather than soldiers being left to figure it out themselves, it was deemed easier to just give people the basics needed to protect their bodies. In that case, ditching the limb armor to reduce costs while keeping the helmet and breastplate like the Swiss Landsknecht and the Spanish Tercio. Hell: in Japan, the increasing prevalence of guns is what made the Samurai go from only partially metallic lamellar armour to full metal plated suits in the first place.

Furthermore, Plate armour by and large did not coexist with other types of metallic armour. It straight up replaced them all because it was just flatly better. Whether it's just a breastplate, a suit of half-plate (half referring to how much of the body is protected), or full plate, there was basically zero reason to wear anything else. Once the metal casting technology for plate armour became widespread, other forms of armour largely disappeared save for covering joint areas because plate armour is simply better in every way and is cheaper to make. Full coats of mail or scale didn't coexist with efficiently made plate armour; there's no need for a chain shirt when a solid steel breastplate offers superior protection for no downside, and full plate is actually considerably more comfortable and lighter than a full coat of mail. So that adventuring party where the Barbarian is wearing chainmail for mobility and the fighter is wearing full plate to tank better at the cost of agility? Simply didn't happen. You're mixing your dark ages and your late medieval/renaissance era armour styles. Mixing armor did, however, happen with conquistadors, and ''may'' have occurred with other small groups of fighting men. This was due purely to costs, not armor types having pros and cons, as used obsolete gear was far cheaper than armor anyone actually wanted. The equipment log for the 287 combatant Coronado expedition lists five suits of full plate (four belonging to Coronado himself), four suits of plate armor for horses (all Coronado's), 16 sets of partial plate, 56 pieces of sleeveless chain armor for the torso (two vests only), one suit of sleeved chain armor, and 250 gambesons. Archaeologists have found a medieval kettle hat in New Mexico, which would have been obsolete for hundreds of years before it got there.

As for Castles, anyone who seriously believed that cannons made strong walls obsolete would be laughed out of any gunpowder-era military engineering course; hell, even as late as the World Wars, fixed fortifications were a very daunting task for artillery to try and crack and often required specialist super heavy guns or ultra high penetration air-dropped bombs to break. After the development of gunpowder artillery, contemporary militaries simply converted their castles into star forts or polygonal fortresses (where the walls are made sloped and are backed by a lot of sloped compressed dirt. Meanwhile, in China, average city walls were already several meters thick and filled with lots of compressed dirt and gravel compared to the famous walls of Constantinople (which were two to three meters thick at best and less stuffed). This meant that the Chinese had less incentive to refine their artillery for centuries (which came back to backfire on them when modern howitzers were used against them by the Europeans when they sent out colonial expeditions). Have you ever heard the term Forlorn Hope? It refers to the supremely unfortunate soldiers who get the job of being the first to rush into the breach of a fortress when after what is typically days, weeks, or even months of non-stop cannon fire they ''finally'' break open one of the walls. Which is rather obviously a suicide mission for the first wave. If it were easy to crack open fortresses with cannonades there would be no need for them.

What actually changed about Castles is that as countries became more centralised, control over military forts passed unto the Kingdom/Empire proper and out of the hands of local nobles, meaning that fortresses largely stopped also being houses for the resident Baron or Count of whatever. This had the benefit of ensuring that local nobles had a harder time rebelling because the fortresses were loyal to the Capital, rather than being their private property. It wasn't until well into the 20th century with the invention of the atomic fucking bomb that a line of fixed fortifications was no longer regarded as a serious obstacle to a truly determined attacker and that was only if the attacker was willing and able to drop one on the battlefield. With conventional munitions, even today with all our missiles and precision weapons, a fortified line is something that most attackers would rather bypass than breach. Of course, most defenders know this and essentially use fortifications to funnel attackers into battlefields of their choosing.

And what about industrial technology? Surely that has no place in my pre-modern setting or would be obsoleted by magic! That too was driven in large part by increased centralisation. Artisanal production is relatively fine if you never need to send products very far away from where they're made and are only meeting relatively small amounts of local demand and the occasional distant but super wealthy patron. But as realms centralise and unify and economies grow interconnected, suddenly monks copying maybe a handful of books a year at a premium isn't enough to meet the needs for more literature. You need higher output, which leads to factorification of production which requires growing mechanisation of production to ensure that quality remains consistent. This drives the greater reliance on machines in producing things and these machines make it easier to make better machines until you can meet the demand or until you get to the point where you're starting to reach the limitations of your power source like wind, muscle, or waterpower. As medieval societies got bigger, you saw more windmills and watermills to get more power for all this work.

Fantasy settings, however, offer magic and alchemy which should realistically, unless there are heavy restrictions on the commonality of either, make for ideal power sources to make for even better machines until you end up in industrialism via such powers. Whether they do this on their own or are used to augment mundane technology is mostly irrelevant. And indeed, powerful mages and alchemists are likely to end up as the predominant class as they control access to these all important resources. So societies that don't want to rely on either would likely double down on trying to find alternatives to having to rely on them, much like how Merchants pushed for quite a lot of what we take for granted in modern society to wriggle out from the thumb of the Aristocracy, like moving centres of production into cities not owned by nobles so they didn't have to pay the local Baron and would have better access to labourers not tied to the land as they sought to maximise profit in their class interest.

Societies are products of the conditions in which they exist. Things are the way they are because of responses to needs and pressures or perceived needs and pressures. They are never really static because the wheel of history is constantly turning and even something as simple as fluctuations in population size can result in radical transformations. Did a big war just depopulate a country in a fantasy setting? Well, gee whiz, now the labourers in the country have a much greater position of power and influence due to the scarcity of their services, which can lead to undermining the entire basis of medieval feudalism and pave the way for late Feudalism or even early Capitalism. Or perhaps something else entirely if the setting conditions allow for it (probably not a regression to Classical era slavery though; that required huge surpluses of labour.)

==Why the Medieval Stasis of the Post-Roman Middle Ages Ended==

In our own world, there were several critical developments which dramatically altered the status quo and led to the disruption of Medieval Stasis. These were:

* '''Printing:''' The invention of printing resulted in an upswing of literacy and education across all but the lowest classes of society. Greater availability of religious texts immediately caused schisms in Christianity as its foundational texts were scrutinized, while broadsheets and pamphleteering became the first form of ostensibly independent "news" through which the masses could be swayed to one view or another. The church had been instrumental in raising people to subscribe to the status quo and its disruption left the system it was propping up vulnerable.
* '''Casting & Gunpowder:''' These two technologies were linked at the hip. Gunpowder weaponry was powerful, but also expensive and complicated to make (cannons are generally cast, and once you can cast guns you can cast all kinds of new things). It made feudalism untenable; no longer could a lord have his smith hammer out some weapons and outfit some men at arms. Instead he paid taxes (bastard feudalism) so the king could buy guns made by...
* '''Craft Guilds (the Emergence of a Middle Class):''' The increasing complexity of creating of arms and desired goods drove the formation of labor organizations specifically focused on production; all kinds of production from guns to fabrics to ships and everything else. As these organizations gained wealth, they gained power and with it an awareness of the their importance relative to the importance of their supposed betters; this awareness found its outlet in the growing public forum fueled by printing.
* '''Fractional Investment:''' With craft guilds and casting, economies were primed to begin growing rapidly, beyond the ability of the nobility to retain control or even complete awareness of what was going on. Into this the growing artisan classes (particularly in the Netherlands) threw in the concept of modern investment, allowing individuals of lower means to participate in larger endeavors at reasonable risk. Whether it was building polders or sending ships on trading missions or establishing businesses, this lit a fuse for explosive economic growth which ultimately made feudalism (and its tendency to maintain the status quo) economically obsolete.

While there were innumerable other factors, these were major destabilizing elements that individually might have been coped with, but in concert made change inevitable. In designing a medieval setting, care must be given to the degree of technology that is introduced. As a general rule anything which cannot be created by the labor of a single person (excluding buildings, anyway), is liable to begin a chain reaction of economic activity which transfers wealth (and thus, power) away from a landholding nobility to a middle, merchant class.

This is why Venice with its shipbuilders and traders was the birthplace of the Renaissance. Unlike all the rest of Europe, Venice never succumbed to medieval stasis from feudalism; instead it succumbed to something resembling anarcho-capitalism. The middle merchant class of wealthy citizens (citizen in the Roman/Byzantine sense) grew so powerful so fast from shipbuilding and trade that they engaged in centuries of backstabbing and petty power grabs. In feudalistic countries, you were rich ''because you were king''... in Venice you were Doge ''because you were rich'' and had used your money to bribe/threaten/murder enough people to make you Doge.

==Notable Examples of Medieval Stasis==

*'''[[Lord of the Rings]]:''' Tolkien wasn't too fond of industrialization, having seen the First World War's highly industrialized warfare and the pollution-spewing effects of the Industrial and Transportation Revolutions on his native countryside up close and personal, so the heroes of his stories preferred Medieval Stasis as well, barring a few anachronisms like clocks and matches. Unlike most of the writers that he inspired, Tolkien had [[Fluff|five hundred pages of background]] explaining why, namely because Middle-earth was in a state of decline due to the ravages of Morgoth and Sauron, the gradual decline of the elves and the Dunedain after the downfall of Numenor, and much of their technology was given to them by the Valar rather than inventing it themselves, and is intended as a mythological history of the world that ultimately explains why humans are on top and everyone else is gone. The funny thing is, based on supplementary books and scrapped stories, Numenor came quite close to being a Steampunk world power, equipped with steamships and even rockets, which, in their decadent colonialist period, they promptly used to imperialize the shit out of much of the world in a manner that led to their ultimate downfall. Indeed, that's why Harad, Rhun, Khand and other humans hate Gondor so much. The Numenorian ancestors of Gondor's people were taking them for [[Chaos Dwarfs|industrial-level human sacrifices]] and doing other atrocities to them, so the descendants of their victims still hold genocidal hatred (abetted by Sauron playing all sides against each other). Also, it's worth mentioning that Tolkien designed his setting as a literal Earth backstory myth, so technically the age of industrialisation and modernisation will start in Middle-Earth anyway.
* '''[[A Song of Ice and Fire]]:''' Westeros is ''extra'' static, because not only has everything been fairly stable for thousands of years until the Great Fuckening of the current time frame, some ''individual families'' have had unbroken rule over their lands for a hundred odd generations (The Starks being the prime example, as they have ruled in Winterfell for over ''eight thousand years'') which is something patently absurd when you consider how much real life royal, imperial, and noble families have had to struggle to avoid patrilineal extinction in just a few centuries, with the oldest still extant aristocratic house being the Japanese house of Yamato and even then it's likely that they bent the rules of succession at least once in their 2500 year history. That said, it should be noted that part of the backstory involves the Bronze Age First Men defeating the Stone Age Children of the Forest, who were themselves conquered by the Iron Age Andal invaders everywhere but in the Iron Islands and the North (who adapted and adopted the technology of their would-be conquerors), and the records of the ancient days are spotty at best, full of mythical accounts and many of the Maesters believe that said events happened over a shorter timeframe. Granted, the whole "millenia old houses" might be something that tended to happen with noble houses IRL claming to be much older than they actually were and could not being contradicted in the absence of reliable records, all the way to the Ethiopian "Solomonids" that still exist to this day, and the aforementioned Yamato being helped by the fact that Japan did not have reliable calendars until the late 19th century, so there's that. While the exact timespan between the Andal invasion and the current events isn't exactly established, the stasis is still quite bad especially when you consider how dragons (essentially domesticated flying animals) are present yet people are none wiser on things such as flight or the use of heat and steam in proto-industrial activities.
* '''[[Forgotten Realms]]:''' Not only have things been more-or-less exactly the same for all of recorded history, there is a powerful, international, theoretically-good-or-at-least-neutral organization actively devoted to making sure that ''no progress of any kind is ever made'': the Harpers. Whenever anyone invents something useful (guns, locomotion, steel plows, etc.) and tries to market it, the Harpers confiscate it and make it clear they'll kill the creator and their whole family if they don't go back to being a happy little peasant. Whenever a good-aligned king tries to unite and stabilize the warring states, the Harpers murder his ass (makes one wonder if the Harpers aren't part of the problem). Faerun hasn't budged an inch since Ao glued it together. The only exception to this was the island nation of [[Lantan]]. The island was a theocratic state in service to Gond Wonderbringer, a deity whose portfolio included innovation and technology, who gifted his followers with knowledge of smokepowder which lead to functional in-setting [[firearm|firearms]]. At least until 4th edition blew it up along with everything else fun or interesting in the Forgotten Realms. As of 5th edition, the current (albeit scattered and/or vague) lore seems to imply that Lantan's destruction has been retconned like the rest of the Spellplague.
* '''[[Greyhawk]]:''' Despite the impotent bitching on the page for this [[Old School Roleplaying|oldest-of-the-old school]] settings, it also has a society where nothing much ever has happened or will happen to bring about changes in the lifestyles of its inhabitants. And ''this'' is the setting with [[Murlynd| a literal god of Old West gunfighting]] and an army of [[firearm]]-toting [[gunslinger|paladins analogous to sheriffs]].
* '''[[Dragonlance]]:''' Apocalyptic calamities come and go, but Krynn stays at pretty much the same level of pseudo-medieval tech forever, world without end, amen. And, no the [[Gnomes|tinker gnomes]] do ''not'' count, since their stuff almost never does anything useful, gets mass-produced, or catches on outside the gnomes themselves. In fact, some material explicitly says that the reason for the stasis is '''because''' of the fucking gnomes; their absolute idiocy when it comes to producing technology has actually convinced pretty much every other culture on the planet that science is fundamentally inferior in every way to sorcery! The one culture that doesn't think they're entirely a waste of time is only interested because it pretty much hates magic... and is made of a bunch of knight-in-shining-armor types so hidebound that they haven't been able to properly fix their organization since the first Cataclysm, and so anything like vehicles or gunpowder is certain to get dismissed on grounds of being "dishonorable". So, yeah, '''fuck''' tinker gnomes.
* '''[[Warcraft]]:''' In a cartoony match for the Dragonlance example above, Azeroth's many factions never adopt one another's technological advancements. Goblins and gnomes can invent as many steampunk robots as they want, none of their stuff will ever change the world in a concrete way. Even the aliens are mostly just sword-and-sorcery types using magic for space travel and other advanced projects. That said, firearms had established themselves in the comparatively recent past.
*'''[[Ravenloft]]:''' This is probably the most interesting example. The Demiplane of Dread doesn't so much "advance" as it does "absorb some place where things are a little more complicated," and most of the Domains of Dread are already tailor-made just to torture their prisoners (and the Darklords can also choose to simply seal off all access to their Domains entirely when they're not just isolated by the Mists). Thus, though individual Domains might be advanced enough for common people to have firearms and gaslights or so primitive that they aren't even ''into'' the Stone Age (King Crocodile for the win!), they will almost never learn from or assimilate one another's technology even on the rare chance xenophobia doesn't get in the way first. Each Domain will be mostly frozen into the level it's at, medieval or not. Amusingly, this works both ways: technologically-advanced societies are no more likely to take up magic than lower-tech ones are to learn to use gunpowder. There's a notable exception in the Rokushima Táiyoo, which is listed as "Dark Age", but said to find the gunpowder weapons of Dementlieu "tantalizing".
*'''[[Star Wars]]:''' Not medieval, but absolutely in technological stasis in the Old Republic. In the 4000 years, the only thing that has noticeably improved is hyperdrives which have become faster and smaller. This would eventually be justified by a devastating war ~1100 years before the original film bringing about a dark age that killed several major technology companies and destroyed any FTL communication (sans courier) past the core worlds. This does ''not'' however apply to the period of 36 years covered by the films and the decades after it covered by the Expanded Universe (see below). There are some in-universe technological achievements that supposedly result in better results (the kolto made by an isolationist monopoly being replaced by the superior bacta made by multiple rival cartels, for instance, as the flesh-healing miracle drug), but none of them are really noticeable through the window the audience sees.
*'''[[Dune]]:''' One of the major inspirations for ''Star Wars'' (and [[Warhammer 40K]]). At some point in the past, AI went rogue and humanity's struggle against it became a literal holy war (the Butlerian Jihad), after it ended, development of any "thinking machines" was banned by religious fiat. As a result, technological and scientific development has slowed to a crawl, new technology is seen as suspicious, the "[[Drug|Spice]]" from Arrakis allows people to become human supercomputers, expanded lifetimes, and have space folding, so there was no desire to experiment and find alternatives, the development of personal shields made every other weapon outdated except for melee weapons (unless you shoot a [[lasgun]] into a shield, then the [[Exterminatus|shooter, the target, and the surrounding landscape are deleted in a massive explosion]]) and the Bene Gesserit and Navigator's Guild collaborated to set up a feudalistic government with full knowledge that it would be easier to control. However, the main plot of the series is eventually revealed to be about making humanity escape this stagnation.
*'''[[Warhammer Fantasy Battles]]:''' Bretonnia is literally in Medieval Stasis despite having one of the most technologically-advanced nations right next door. The Elves of all types give no fucks about advancing their technology, but in their defense what they have still works, they have access to giant monsters such as dragons and hydras and the Dark Elves at least have progressed from bows to rapid-fire armor-piercing crossbows. The Warriors of Chaos are again literally medieval, but in their case they're Medieval [[Vikings]] who get supplied with advanced tech by the Chaos Dwarf allies or demons. Orcs have not been introduced to the wonders of "Dakka" yet; the Lizardmen still use wood and stone but make up for it by also using dinosaurs and the best magic in their world. Lastly, the Ogres are pretty much in "Stone Age Stasis" as they're not very intelligent but under Overtyrant Greasus started to discover the benefits of commerce. Human nations outside of Bretonnia are at the tail end of the Renaissaince, while the Empire of Man is in slowly fighting through the early Enlightenment but they are under constant attack from various Eldritch horrors so progress is existent but slow. The only races that have had any technological developments on a grand scale are the Skaven and Dwarfs, and more so the Chaos Dwarfs. Unfortunately, most of the inventions of the Skaven end up blowing up in their face, and the Dwarfs are reluctant to share their technology with anybody other than the Empire of Man and must be centuries old before the guilds allow it to be mass-produced. The Chaos Dwarfs' technology is run on daemon souls and bloody sacrifices. You can see why others have not copied them.
** The undead factions are an interesting case. The Vampire Counts vary with Luthor Harkon's pirate fleets using blackpowder weapons while outside that the most advanced technology seen in that faction was crossbows. The Tomb Kings had varying technology, with their most technologically advanced city, Lybaras, reaching the steampunk level. Also, they have superhuman abilities and being undead eliminates many of the needs that lead people to develop technology (no need to develop automation when undead laborers don't get tired or bored and if their bodies wear out they get repaired with magic, no need for medicine because most diseases don't effect undead and non-vampire undead don't need sustenance) and they also have magic and monsters.
** Not that any of this matters because the entire world got nuked by the Chaos Gods. The sequel setting, Age of Sigmar, has the successor factions be at roughly the same level as they were at the End Times, but stuff has become understood enough that Steam Tanks and Cannons won't randomly blow up as often and can be reliably mass produced, and it should be pointed out that Mass Production is itself a game changer. Stasis is more then raw technology: it is as much application. The Kharadron Overlords have surpassed steampunk via magic punk. The setting also has more-widely-available magic than the Old World did, significantly changing and improving the qualify of life of its inhabitants (in theory, in practice it's still pretty bad due to Chaos, [[Nagash]], Greenskin and giant rampages and the realms being pretty fucked up places even when those three aren't involved, even Azyr is under a heavy dictatorship to prevent chaos of both lowercase c and capital C varieties).

==Notable Settings ''Without'' Medieval Stasis==

*'''[[Warhammer Fantasy Battles]]:''' The Empire and the Dwarfs are actually about the level of most European countries around 1500, at the start of the early modern period and the Renaissance. They're also advancing, albeit slowly, but the problem is that they are under constant Chaos invasions and Chaos Gods themselves are not above screwing with the world, which puts something of a crimp on pure research. Imagine what Nurgle would do to the guy who discovered penicillin in this world. The fact that relations between the engineers and the Cult of Sigmar are not the best in the world does not help things at all. The other notable technology users are the Skaven, but the Skaven technology only affects their weapons (god help the world if they ever figure out sanitation considering what it did to our own population) and it's almost all magitech based on weaponizing [[Warpstone|solidified Chaos.]] Undead straddle the line between the two, with the vampires not being afraid to use technology; the problem is most of their undead minions lack the physical and mental acumen to use it while the vampires physical, mental and magical abilities make technology practically redundant to them at a personal level. The [[Tomb Kings]] had technology at the steampunk level, though this isn't represented in the game, but they are more concerned about rebuilding their realm, which has fallen into disrepair due to hundreds of years of civil war and no maintenance, rather than advancing their society. They do have something like robots in the form of their magically animated undead constructs.
*'''[[Iron Kingdoms]]:''' The Iron Kingdoms setting is one of the best examples of steampunk fantasy. They're developed to the extent of the Victorian era (the mid-to-late 1800s), with a slow-but-growing industrial revolution and the discovery and development of electricity and chemistry, with the ongoing big international clusterfuck behind the wargame constantly fueling magical and technological advancement. At the same time, it remains a recognizably fantasy setting in many ways, with wizard orders, barbarian tribes, and dangerous monster threats on the frontier demanding plucky-adventurer solutions. (Or did before the wheels came off partway through Third Edition to make way for [[Starfinder| the science fiction spin-off nobody wanted]]. Still isn't medieval stasis though.)
*'''[[Eberron]]:''' Eberron is weird and expressly focused on subverting the usual D&D cliches, so the technology is a strange mixture of all eras with a side order of JRPG-style magitech. It's one of the few settings that avoids both medieval stasis and outright steampunk, since magic is so common that it has effectively displaced technology, but unlike most settings, this manifests as mass ''availability'' of magic conveniences. As there is no continuity and by default every game starts at exactly the same point in time as every other game, in 998 YK, [[Advancing the Storyline| there's no real status quo to worry about upsetting]]. Only modules/novels that are direct sequels ever reference the events of other modules/novels as having happened.
*'''[[Dark Sun]]:''' A weird example. Depending on edition, the past of Athas may have included anything from a standard fantasy setting to a bio-mechanical halfling empire. But, either way, the Brown Age is a barbaric decline of these past glories, with little metal and no feasible way of shaping more leaving the world in an oddly-civilized nigh-Stone Age. Still, there is an undercurrent of rebuilding and reforming throughout the more-heroic-minded books on the setting, helped by the same eventual anti-continuity Eberron had, so the idea that things ''could'' progress or get better isn't ''impossible''.
*'''[[Ironclaw]]:''' The once-fantasy world is undergoing a pseudo-Renaissance shift away from magic and feudalism to machinery and Italian-style guild-republics. PCs are actually explicitly part of the burgeoning new middle class. Not bad for a furry RPG, huh?
*'''[[Mystara]]:''' Depending on where you are, there might be airships, magic-powered technological conveniences, and drill-tanks to explore the hollow earth full of dinosaurs. Either way, things are a little less generic here in proto-Eberron.
*'''[[Pathfinder]]:''' [[Golarion]] features relatively advanced technologies such as flintlock and matchlock firearms, the printing press, galleons (crewed by pirates reminiscent of the Golden Age of piracy in the Caribbean), and, in certain sourcebooks, [[Spelljammer|steampunk/magi-tech spaceships]]. Not to mention the number of people whose clothes and equipment are explicitly based on 18th-century fashions (see, among others, Andoran, Taldor, and Alkenstar). At least one source (''05-13: Hellknight's Feast'') says high class dwellings have actual porcelain toilets. Also, there's that one random corner of the world where aliens are trying to peacefully settle and/or invade, only to realize they picked the *one* corner of the world where pleas of "We come in peace!" are met with [[Barbarian|warcries and the judicious application of battleaxes to various vital areas]]. One sourcebook (''Technology Guide'') includes *lots* of super-high-tech stuff and different class archetypes that make use of it. On the socio-political front, the Chelaxian breakaways Andoran and Galt have started to push for a less aristocratic government. Come second edition, cannons have become widespread on naval vessels.
**And '''[[Starfinder]]''' reveals that at least at some point various sci-fi technologies will be developed.
*'''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]''': It was true in the past, but by the time of the original series the Fire Nation has become an industrial power, complete with colonial ambitions towards the rest of the world. In fact, the main character's previous incarnation as Avatar Roku actually ''stopped'' the Fire Nation from breaking medieval stasis ''because'' he foresaw that doing so would mean allowing them to subjugate all the other peoples; the fact that the Fire Lord during this industrial age - his former friend Fire Lord Sozin - went on a power trip after seeing the shiny new tech and outright said he had imperialist designs was also a major factor. Sure enough, the Fire Nation does so and immediately goes all Imperial Japan on the world, and the next Avatar turned out to be an Airbender who ran from the genocide of his people, which is perfectly sensible because even if they weren't the designated pacifist culture, he was literally 12 and had no way of meaningfully stopping them (''yet''). Even the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes have a few tinkerers and inventors, and during the time of Avatar Aang, the first airships and submarines are invented, albeit the magitek varieties. At the end of the show, the protagonist Avatar Aang makes peace between all three surviving factions and begins the reestabilshment of the aforementioned genocided faction, and the sequel reveals that doing so helped the world advance to a roughly 20s/30s era of technology, complete with automobiles, moving pictures, the printing press, political propaganda videos, and cronyist democracy.
*'''[[Dragonmech]]''': Dragonmech's setting used to be in Medieval Stasis, then chunks of the moon started to rain down on them along with Alien Moon Dragons riding the rocks down for a full-on invasion, people first hide underground but then a dwarf kickstarts the creation of Pacific Rim sized steampunk robots to fight the Dragons and the whole world is now in a full-on steam-powered Industrial Revolution without the gunpowder.
*'''[[Star Wars]]:''' Outside of the period between the start of the New Sith Wars (2000 BBBY) to the Ruusan Reformation (1000 BBY) (where everyone was too busy killing eachother, even more so than usual), technology actually ''does'' advance noticeably throughout Post-Reformation Old Republic and especially the prequels (32 BBY onward) all the way to the era of the Legacy comics (138 ABY). Hyperdrives improve (in speed, how small a craft they can fit in and how big a craft they can propel) at a much faster rate than they did in the 1000 years since the end of the dark age. It's not just direct improvements either, with new technologies like [[Android]]s, relatively cheap cloaking devices that don't require unobtainum, silent and invisible blasters, biological technology merged with mechanical tech, and more. Even military strategy changes significantly between back and forth transitions between symmetrical and asymmetrical warfare. Amazingly all this occurs organically as new technology is introduced to allow a plot and gets improved upon in future installments.
*'''[[Masque of the Red Death|Gothic Earth]]''': Perhaps the ultimate aversion as Gothic Earth follows real world technological history of tech development ''almost'' exactly, even stating players can only obtain certain items after a certain point in time. Ordinarily this wouldn't be notable, as Gothic Earth is still Earth, but [[RPGA|Living Death]] included some technology that was explicitly anachronistic, such as submarines capable of cross Atlantic voyages and long term submerging, and a few people who have lived somewhat longer.

[[Category:History]]
[[Category:Gamer Slang]]

Medieval Stasis

2021-02-13T15:31:51Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* Notable Examples of Medieval Stasis */

{{Topquote|[[Eberron]] in 998 YK is based on the idea that ''civilization is evolving''.|Keith Baker, explaining why Eberron is not a normal campaign setting.}}
'''Medieval Stasis''' describes the state of essentially all fantasy worlds that never get to [[steampunk]], and a crucial component of the [[standard fantasy setting]].

As the title implies, most fantasy worlds are stuck at a technological level roughly equivalent to Europe between 1000 CE and 1500 CE, being more advanced in some fields and more primitive in others, until the universe collapses. A [[knight]]'s ancestors five thousand years ago fought against Orcs on the back of a great warhorse, wielding [[sword]] and lance, wearing plate and a greathelm, just as he does at present and how his descendants 25 generations down the line will. At best, some groups in the universe may be more advanced than others (some peoples might be building castles and forging plate armor while others live as primitive cave men armed with flint axes and stone tipped spears), but nobody will be developing new technology, or, on the off chance one or two factions are, it will never spread much or catch on anywhere else. This also applies to social structures such as feudalism, with a max of one non-Greco-Roman democracy per setting. It will be conquered and restored from edition to edition as fanboys war behind the scenes.

While it is not, in and of itself, a bad thing, as it creates a set mood and style of play, we run into the fact that many writers are hacks, and use it to both rip-off other writers (principally, Tolkien) and to [[Advancing the Storyline|keep the world stagnant enough that they don't risk smashing something people actually like that they didn't have the skill to ''realize'' they shouldn't smash, while still maintaining the illusion of forward momentum]]. The ''[[Forgotten Realms]]'' is a prime example of this, featuring both several powerful organizations out to stifle any attempt to progress the technological or socioeconomic advancement of the setting, and many lame-brained "advances" in story from edition to edition, most infamously with 4th edition's "Spellplague" and retconned twin planet where all the new 4e races were hiding.

A common thing among fantasy writers is treating firearms of any kind as a taboo. Many feel that featuring firearms would somehow ruin the medieval feeling despite the fact that firearms were used in the late medieval period (and in Warhammer.) Granted, [[neckbeards|many people's]] weapon history knowledge is such that they believe that having guns would immediately mean having AK-47s rather than merely having handcannons or matchlock muskets.

Note that in high-magic settings, sorcery sometimes gets so common and overpowered that it basically replaces technological progress. Why would you build robots or rockets if you can just create golems or cast Teleport Without Error?

Another issue with medieval stasis is that a lot of writers—most of them in fact—probably know less about the actual Middle Ages than the average Crusader Kings 2 player and thus present not only a world in medieval stasis but one that's in, at best, a theme-park version of the medieval period and quite often only really showing Anglo-French medievalism (and a bastardized shitfarmer version of it at that). The somewhat more historically literate might put in some anachronisms like references to ancient Greece, Egypt, and Rome, or to the Aztecs (usually a ramshackle mishmash of half remembered tidbits of the Mayans, Aztecs, and Inca thrown together with no real thought), and if you're extra lucky you might get something that's an extended reference to a (largely inaccurate) medieval Islamic polity or to the Holy Roman Empire, mixed in with the usual barbarian tribes, but that's usually about it. Like the Democracy thing mentioned above? It was nowhere near that simple in real life. A great many of the tribal societies we have records of were actually very democratic, where the King was elected and so were the chiefs below them and they absolutely did not have absolute authority over their subjects. And of course "feudalism" is simply a catch all label for a hugely varied and complicated array of societal organization systems that can be vaguely described as an aristocratic hierarchy based around land and military service and assorted ties of loyalty and bloodline.

And even in medieval Europe you had systems that broke the norm, like the merchant republics of Italy or the north German free cities, and of course you had lands directly ruled by the Church. Never mind that you also had rather different systems of organization elsewhere in the world, like in the Islamic world, India, the Americas, and of course, China's quite literal bureaucracy where civil servants hired based on their performance in examinations did most of the day-to-day governing of China; dynasties could come and go but the bureaucracy was eternal. Tolkien was himself, of course, a medievalist with very deep knowledge of the time period, even by today's standards, with our rather improved access to knowledge of the time period. Warhammer was created by history nerds who very much knew what they were writing about and so populated the world of Warhammer Fantasy with references to just about every political system that predominated in the medieval and renaissance periods as well as a lot of those that predominated in antiquity. So not only does Medieval Stasis perpetuate an annoying degree of sameness in the fantasy genre, it also tends to be based on a conception of medieval times that's not only essentially completely limited to France + England with some scattered references to other stuff, but is also almost completely wrong about everything and doesn't even scratch the surface of the depth of medieval history.
==Some general historical points==
One thing that should be known is that no one group of people has a monopoly on innovation. You have some stodgy conservative societies with "revere your ancestors and their wisdom" and "If It Ain't Broke Don't Fix It" mentalities which hinders improvements and those which value innovation and believe in progress for the sake of progress and various groups in between, but nobody has been so dedicated to stagnation that they would shun all attempts at improvement in perpetuity. Civilizations which don't keep up tend to be conquered by those that do. Actual resistance to the adoption of new technologies is typically not to the effect of people in authority demanding the inventors or the presenters of the new breakthrough be burned at the stakes for witchcraft; instead, generally, it would be more to the effect of seeing a new device and declaring it to be an interesting novelty, but be reticent to adopting it because doing so would be expensive and its benefits are still unclear, that there is not a particularly pressing need to improve that field right now, that it might be profitable in one sense but on the other hand it might destabilize the social order of things that has stood for centuries which can result in social unrest as people which profit from the current set up become redundant or that this beneficial machinery might come with complications that leave them in the pockets of foreign powers (buying spare parts for their machines or importing foreign fuel). Concerns which generally do have at least a kernel of truth to them (example: industrialization leading to the rise of a prominent bourgeoisie which eclipses the landed nobility), and the attitude that they often engender is to adopt changes gradually, "on their own terms". Other factors are general xenophobia and resistance to the ideas of Methodological Naturalism as opposed to Dogmatism, though even these are not absolute barriers.

Most improvements don't come in big breakthroughs made by some lone mastermind; a [[Stone Age|genius hunter/gatherer]] did not one day decide [[Bronze Age|"Lets start clearing out land, plowing it and sowing it with seeds and capturing animals to breed so we can have all the food we want"]]. That process took thousands of years, starting with little things such as weeding patches of wild food plants which were gradually added onto with other practices until you got farming as we'd understand it, with silos, farmhouses, fields, plows, pens of livestock, irrigation ditches, and so forth. Improvements can come about by people trying to be more thrifty, having to do with less of a previously common resource, more of a specific resource becoming available or by minor accidental variations. The idea that technology comes all at once from super special smart people ex nihilo instead of being born of conditions produced by years of decisions made by everyone down to the lowliest peasant is something born of a combination of fiction being kind of clumsy at showing things at a societal instead of an individual level and basically hagiographic propaganda about how great some inventor was (while almost invariably not crediting all the people who helped them), with a bit of market campaigning meant to make you think that a slightly faster electric toothbrush is some massive revolution. If you look at society as a product of decisions made by the masses under conditions, rather than some smart guy having a great idea, questions of why some people didn't invent some things become much easier to answer.

Certain technologies and conditions are conducive towards innovation. Let's look at the history of literacy, paper, printing, and the scientific method, for example. If your tribe can farm you have support some artisans who spend all their time weaving, making pots and tools, building boats, working wood, etc. These guys and gals know more about their field of expertise and work out ways of doing it more efficiently. Writing (developed to keep inventory records) means that ideas can be passed down from generation to generation more effectively. Mathematics (ditto) is a major boon to construction and later engineering. Movable type means that both are more readily available to the masses. The scientific mindset is also a valuable aid in this regard and is allowed to flourish because the greater spread of reading pushed by the movable type press and the adoption of paper makes it easier to become educated as well as record the results of experiments and share them with others. Before you had paper and printing presses, writing surfaces were expensive and all copying had to be done by hand. Afterwards, you could print newspapers, books of natural philosophy and manuals for the operation of machines.

What does this mean for the scientific method? Well in this era to have a great, world renown library meant having one thousand or so books and generally they were chained to the library to prevent people from stealing them because they were literally worth their weight in gold. Today a random middle class bookworm could easily have more than a thousand books given some time to collect them, and the really big libraries have literally tens of millions of paper documents. So the massive paper trail of the modern scientific method was simply not affordable, and the need for manual copying basically kneecaps peer review. But with cheap paper, a greater number of people able to afford it thanks to black death induced changes to Feudal Europe, and printing presses science as we now know it could really get into motion.

Refinements in existing technologies can be a prerequisite to the development of new technologies. As an example, the Romans knew the basic principle of how to make a steam engine and even how to put rotary power to work (having watermills for grinding grain and sawing wood) but they could not apply that technology because they lacked the ability to cast iron as they lacked proper blast furnaces, something you need to be good at doing to make one which is actually useful. The steam engines known to the Mediterranean world at the time were basically fancy toys for the idle rich. The Chinese had the technology to theoretically make steam engines, but the issue tended to be a lack of substantial need as well as China's bad habit of periodically exploding into colossal gigadeath civil wars. The Song Dynasty might have sparked the need for such technologies as they were rapidly transitioning towards a highly commercialised economy and out of the bounds of feudalism and were starting to run into issues of demand outpacing the ability of work to meet, [[Genghis motherfucking Khan|but things didn't go too great for them.]]

Finally there is the matter of Diffusion, the spread of technology from one country or civilisation to another if they are in contact with each other. This can be done directly (kidnapping a blacksmith and telling him to train up some of your bronzesmiths to work iron and beat him if he does not comply) or indirectly (a trader from the next kingdom over comes into town with a donkey pulling a wheeled cart, a carpenter sees this, thinks it's a good idea and decides to try to make one himself). There is no point in reinventing the wheel from log rollers on up when you can just copy someone else's work. Moreover if the idea spreads there will be a hell of a lot of people working on it making wheels coming to useful improvements by accidents, making refinements and big breakthroughs which will in turn spread again. If you started in Portugal and went east through Spain, France, Italy, the Balkans, Greece, Turkey, The Fertile Crescent, Iran, Pakistan, India, Indochina and China, you'd come across a series of well developed civilizations that had existed for thousands of years and each one had dealings with their neighbors. Ideas that started in India or Rome or Greece flowed along that pathway to be taken and refined elsewhere.

tl;dr: Stop being lazy and go read Guns, Germs and Steel.

=== Fantasy authors are bad Medievalists and historians, part 2 ===

The vision of medieval times that exists in fantasy is a gigantic pile of anachronisms, pop-history, and misconceptions. Much of this is due to Fantasy's scope of time being seriously out of whack even without innovations like gunpowder or industrial technology. See, our monkey brains aren't very good at really comprehending spans of time longer than a handful of decades. So we tend to mash up entire "eras" of history into indistinct blobs in our headspace, even though the entire concept of a historical era is more or less for academic convenience and categorization. Charlemagne's Empire was as far back in the past relative to Joan of Arc as she is to the present day. And technology and culture certainly did not remain static in those intervening seven hundred years. Paris went from a fairly small city of a few tens of thousands to a bustling metropolis of nearly a quarter of a million people, mail or banded armour was largely replaced by solid plated armour, gunpowder was popularised, sugar was introduced to the European diet, the Magyars went from eastern horseback-mounted pagan invaders to a solidly Catholic and Europeanised mainstay of central Europe as the Hungarians, and eastern Europe was Christianised in a rather gory and unpleasant process, to name just a few of the drastic changes over the years. Of course, any Crusader Kings 2 player could tell you how ridiculous the idea of the political map of a faux-medieval realm remaining static for centuries is.

Let's now take the common complaint among Fantasy authors that guns render castles and knights in shining armour obsolete. Full Plate armour coexisted with man-portable gunpowder weapons throughout literally the entirety of its military service and was phased out because of reasons of cost as armies got bigger, not because it was ineffective against guns. Making a fully articulated suit of plate armour fitted to every soldier is expensive and time consuming, so as armies got more standardised as countries centralised, with equipment being given by the military rather than soldiers being left to figure it out themselves, it was deemed easier to just give people the basics needed to protect their bodies. In that case, ditching the limb armor to reduce costs while keeping the helmet and breastplate like the Swiss Landsknecht and the Spanish Tercio. Hell: in Japan, the increasing prevalence of guns is what made the Samurai go from only partially metallic lamellar armour to full metal plated suits in the first place.

Furthermore, Plate armour by and large did not coexist with other types of metallic armour. It straight up replaced them all because it was just flatly better. Whether it's just a breastplate, a suit of half-plate (half referring to how much of the body is protected), or full plate, there was basically zero reason to wear anything else. Once the metal casting technology for plate armour became widespread, other forms of armour largely disappeared save for covering joint areas because plate armour is simply better in every way and is cheaper to make. Full coats of mail or scale didn't coexist with efficiently made plate armour; there's no need for a chain shirt when a solid steel breastplate offers superior protection for no downside, and full plate is actually considerably more comfortable and lighter than a full coat of mail. So that adventuring party where the Barbarian is wearing chainmail for mobility and the fighter is wearing full plate to tank better at the cost of agility? Simply didn't happen. You're mixing your dark ages and your late medieval/renaissance era armour styles. Mixing armor did, however, happen with conquistadors, and ''may'' have occurred with other small groups of fighting men. This was due purely to costs, not armor types having pros and cons, as used obsolete gear was far cheaper than armor anyone actually wanted. The equipment log for the 287 combatant Coronado expedition lists five suits of full plate (four belonging to Coronado himself), four suits of plate armor for horses (all Coronado's), 16 sets of partial plate, 56 pieces of sleeveless chain armor for the torso (two vests only), one suit of sleeved chain armor, and 250 gambesons. Archaeologists have found a medieval kettle hat in New Mexico, which would have been obsolete for hundreds of years before it got there.

As for Castles, anyone who seriously believed that cannons made strong walls obsolete would be laughed out of any gunpowder-era military engineering course; hell, even as late as the World Wars, fixed fortifications were a very daunting task for artillery to try and crack and often required specialist super heavy guns or ultra high penetration air-dropped bombs to break. After the development of gunpowder artillery, contemporary militaries simply converted their castles into star forts or polygonal fortresses (where the walls are made sloped and are backed by a lot of sloped compressed dirt. Meanwhile, in China, average city walls were already several meters thick and filled with lots of compressed dirt and gravel compared to the famous walls of Constantinople (which were two to three meters thick at best and less stuffed). This meant that the Chinese had less incentive to refine their artillery for centuries (which came back to backfire on them when modern howitzers were used against them by the Europeans when they sent out colonial expeditions). Have you ever heard the term Forlorn Hope? It refers to the supremely unfortunate soldiers who get the job of being the first to rush into the breach of a fortress when after what is typically days, weeks, or even months of non-stop cannon fire they ''finally'' break open one of the walls. Which is rather obviously a suicide mission for the first wave. If it were easy to crack open fortresses with cannonades there would be no need for them.

What actually changed about Castles is that as countries became more centralised, control over military forts passed unto the Kingdom/Empire proper and out of the hands of local nobles, meaning that fortresses largely stopped also being houses for the resident Baron or Count of whatever. This had the benefit of ensuring that local nobles had a harder time rebelling because the fortresses were loyal to the Capital, rather than being their private property. It wasn't until well into the 20th century with the invention of the atomic fucking bomb that a line of fixed fortifications was no longer regarded as a serious obstacle to a truly determined attacker and that was only if the attacker was willing and able to drop one on the battlefield. With conventional munitions, even today with all our missiles and precision weapons, a fortified line is something that most attackers would rather bypass than breach. Of course, most defenders know this and essentially use fortifications to funnel attackers into battlefields of their choosing.

And what about industrial technology? Surely that has no place in my pre-modern setting or would be obsoleted by magic! That too was driven in large part by increased centralisation. Artisanal production is relatively fine if you never need to send products very far away from where they're made and are only meeting relatively small amounts of local demand and the occasional distant but super wealthy patron. But as realms centralise and unify and economies grow interconnected, suddenly monks copying maybe a handful of books a year at a premium isn't enough to meet the needs for more literature. You need higher output, which leads to factorification of production which requires growing mechanisation of production to ensure that quality remains consistent. This drives the greater reliance on machines in producing things and these machines make it easier to make better machines until you can meet the demand or until you get to the point where you're starting to reach the limitations of your power source like wind, muscle, or waterpower. As medieval societies got bigger, you saw more windmills and watermills to get more power for all this work.

Fantasy settings, however, offer magic and alchemy which should realistically, unless there are heavy restrictions on the commonality of either, make for ideal power sources to make for even better machines until you end up in industrialism via such powers. Whether they do this on their own or are used to augment mundane technology is mostly irrelevant. And indeed, powerful mages and alchemists are likely to end up as the predominant class as they control access to these all important resources. So societies that don't want to rely on either would likely double down on trying to find alternatives to having to rely on them, much like how Merchants pushed for quite a lot of what we take for granted in modern society to wriggle out from the thumb of the Aristocracy, like moving centres of production into cities not owned by nobles so they didn't have to pay the local Baron and would have better access to labourers not tied to the land as they sought to maximise profit in their class interest.

Societies are products of the conditions in which they exist. Things are the way they are because of responses to needs and pressures or perceived needs and pressures. They are never really static because the wheel of history is constantly turning and even something as simple as fluctuations in population size can result in radical transformations. Did a big war just depopulate a country in a fantasy setting? Well, gee whiz, now the labourers in the country have a much greater position of power and influence due to the scarcity of their services, which can lead to undermining the entire basis of medieval feudalism and pave the way for late Feudalism or even early Capitalism. Or perhaps something else entirely if the setting conditions allow for it (probably not a regression to Classical era slavery though; that required huge surpluses of labour.)

==Why the Medieval Stasis of the Post-Roman Middle Ages Ended==

In our own world, there were several critical developments which dramatically altered the status quo and led to the disruption of Medieval Stasis. These were:

* '''Printing:''' The invention of printing resulted in an upswing of literacy and education across all but the lowest classes of society. Greater availability of religious texts immediately caused schisms in Christianity as its foundational texts were scrutinized, while broadsheets and pamphleteering became the first form of ostensibly independent "news" through which the masses could be swayed to one view or another. The church had been instrumental in raising people to subscribe to the status quo and its disruption left the system it was propping up vulnerable.
* '''Casting & Gunpowder:''' These two technologies were linked at the hip. Gunpowder weaponry was powerful, but also expensive and complicated to make (cannons are generally cast, and once you can cast guns you can cast all kinds of new things). It made feudalism untenable; no longer could a lord have his smith hammer out some weapons and outfit some men at arms. Instead he paid taxes (bastard feudalism) so the king could buy guns made by...
* '''Craft Guilds (the Emergence of a Middle Class):''' The increasing complexity of creating of arms and desired goods drove the formation of labor organizations specifically focused on production; all kinds of production from guns to fabrics to ships and everything else. As these organizations gained wealth, they gained power and with it an awareness of the their importance relative to the importance of their supposed betters; this awareness found its outlet in the growing public forum fueled by printing.
* '''Fractional Investment:''' With craft guilds and casting, economies were primed to begin growing rapidly, beyond the ability of the nobility to retain control or even complete awareness of what was going on. Into this the growing artisan classes (particularly in the Netherlands) threw in the concept of modern investment, allowing individuals of lower means to participate in larger endeavors at reasonable risk. Whether it was building polders or sending ships on trading missions or establishing businesses, this lit a fuse for explosive economic growth which ultimately made feudalism (and its tendency to maintain the status quo) economically obsolete.

While there were innumerable other factors, these were major destabilizing elements that individually might have been coped with, but in concert made change inevitable. In designing a medieval setting, care must be given to the degree of technology that is introduced. As a general rule anything which cannot be created by the labor of a single person (excluding buildings, anyway), is liable to begin a chain reaction of economic activity which transfers wealth (and thus, power) away from a landholding nobility to a middle, merchant class.

This is why Venice with its shipbuilders and traders was the birthplace of the Renaissance. Unlike all the rest of Europe, Venice never succumbed to medieval stasis from feudalism; instead it succumbed to something resembling anarcho-capitalism. The middle merchant class of wealthy citizens (citizen in the Roman/Byzantine sense) grew so powerful so fast from shipbuilding and trade that they engaged in centuries of backstabbing and petty power grabs. In feudalistic countries, you were rich ''because you were king''... in Venice you were Doge ''because you were rich'' and had used your money to bribe/threaten/murder enough people to make you Doge.

==Notable Examples of Medieval Stasis==

*'''[[Lord of the Rings]]:''' Tolkien wasn't too fond of industrialization, having seen the First World War's highly industrialized warfare and the pollution-spewing effects of the Industrial and Transportation Revolutions on his native countryside up close and personal, so the heroes of his stories preferred Medieval Stasis as well, barring a few anachronisms like clocks and matches. Unlike most of the writers that he inspired, Tolkien had [[Fluff|five hundred pages of background]] explaining why, namely because Middle-earth was in a state of decline due to the ravages of Morgoth and Sauron, the gradual decline of the elves and the Dunedain after the downfall of Numenor, and much of their technology was given to them by the Valar rather than inventing it themselves, and is intended as a mythological history of the world that ultimately explains why humans are on top and everyone else is gone. The funny thing is, based on supplementary books and scrapped stories, Numenor came quite close to being a Steampunk world power, equipped with steamships and even rockets, which, in their decadent colonialist period, they promptly used to imperialize the shit out of much of the world in a manner that led to their ultimate downfall. Indeed, that's why Harad, Rhun, Khand and other humans hate Gondor so much. The Numenorian ancestors of Gondor's people were taking them for [[Chaos Dwarfs|industrial-level human sacrifices]] and doing other atrocities to them, so the descendants of their victims still hold genocidal hatred (abetted by Sauron playing all sides against each other).
* '''[[A Song of Ice and Fire]]:''' Westeros is ''extra'' static, because not only has everything been fairly stable for thousands of years until the Great Fuckening of the current time frame, some ''individual families'' have had unbroken rule over their lands for a hundred odd generations (The Starks being the prime example, as they have ruled in Winterfell for over ''eight thousand years'') which is something patently absurd when you consider how much real life royal, imperial, and noble families have had to struggle to avoid patrilineal extinction in just a few centuries, with the oldest still extant aristocratic house being the Japanese house of Yamato and even then it's likely that they bent the rules of succession at least once in their 2500 year history. That said, it should be noted that part of the backstory involves the Bronze Age First Men defeating the Stone Age Children of the Forest, who were themselves conquered by the Iron Age Andal invaders everywhere but in the Iron Islands and the North (who adapted and adopted the technology of their would-be conquerors), and the records of the ancient days are spotty at best, full of mythical accounts and many of the Maesters believe that said events happened over a shorter timeframe. Granted, the whole "millenia old houses" might be something that tended to happen with noble houses IRL claming to be much older than they actually were and could not being contradicted in the absence of reliable records, all the way to the Ethiopian "Solomonids" that still exist to this day, and the aforementioned Yamato being helped by the fact that Japan did not have reliable calendars until the late 19th century, so there's that. While the exact timespan between the Andal invasion and the current events isn't exactly established, the stasis is still quite bad especially when you consider how dragons (essentially domesticated flying animals) are present yet people are none wiser on things such as flight or the use of heat and steam in proto-industrial activities.
* '''[[Forgotten Realms]]:''' Not only have things been more-or-less exactly the same for all of recorded history, there is a powerful, international, theoretically-good-or-at-least-neutral organization actively devoted to making sure that ''no progress of any kind is ever made'': the Harpers. Whenever anyone invents something useful (guns, locomotion, steel plows, etc.) and tries to market it, the Harpers confiscate it and make it clear they'll kill the creator and their whole family if they don't go back to being a happy little peasant. Whenever a good-aligned king tries to unite and stabilize the warring states, the Harpers murder his ass (makes one wonder if the Harpers aren't part of the problem). Faerun hasn't budged an inch since Ao glued it together. The only exception to this was the island nation of [[Lantan]]. The island was a theocratic state in service to Gond Wonderbringer, a deity whose portfolio included innovation and technology, who gifted his followers with knowledge of smokepowder which lead to functional in-setting [[firearm|firearms]]. At least until 4th edition blew it up along with everything else fun or interesting in the Forgotten Realms. As of 5th edition, the current (albeit scattered and/or vague) lore seems to imply that Lantan's destruction has been retconned like the rest of the Spellplague.
* '''[[Greyhawk]]:''' Despite the impotent bitching on the page for this [[Old School Roleplaying|oldest-of-the-old school]] settings, it also has a society where nothing much ever has happened or will happen to bring about changes in the lifestyles of its inhabitants. And ''this'' is the setting with [[Murlynd| a literal god of Old West gunfighting]] and an army of [[firearm]]-toting [[gunslinger|paladins analogous to sheriffs]].
* '''[[Dragonlance]]:''' Apocalyptic calamities come and go, but Krynn stays at pretty much the same level of pseudo-medieval tech forever, world without end, amen. And, no the [[Gnomes|tinker gnomes]] do ''not'' count, since their stuff almost never does anything useful, gets mass-produced, or catches on outside the gnomes themselves. In fact, some material explicitly says that the reason for the stasis is '''because''' of the fucking gnomes; their absolute idiocy when it comes to producing technology has actually convinced pretty much every other culture on the planet that science is fundamentally inferior in every way to sorcery! The one culture that doesn't think they're entirely a waste of time is only interested because it pretty much hates magic... and is made of a bunch of knight-in-shining-armor types so hidebound that they haven't been able to properly fix their organization since the first Cataclysm, and so anything like vehicles or gunpowder is certain to get dismissed on grounds of being "dishonorable". So, yeah, '''fuck''' tinker gnomes.
* '''[[Warcraft]]:''' In a cartoony match for the Dragonlance example above, Azeroth's many factions never adopt one another's technological advancements. Goblins and gnomes can invent as many steampunk robots as they want, none of their stuff will ever change the world in a concrete way. Even the aliens are mostly just sword-and-sorcery types. That said, firearms had established themselves in the comparatively recent past.
*'''[[Ravenloft]]:''' This is probably the most interesting example. The Demiplane of Dread doesn't so much "advance" as it does "absorb some place where things are a little more complicated," and most of the Domains of Dread are already tailor-made just to torture their prisoners (and the Darklords can also choose to simply seal off all access to their Domains entirely when they're not just isolated by the Mists). Thus, though individual Domains might be advanced enough for common people to have firearms and gaslights or so primitive that they aren't even ''into'' the Stone Age (King Crocodile for the win!), they will almost never learn from or assimilate one another's technology even on the rare chance xenophobia doesn't get in the way first. Each Domain will be mostly frozen into the level it's at, medieval or not. Amusingly, this works both ways: technologically-advanced societies are no more likely to take up magic than lower-tech ones are to learn to use gunpowder. There's a notable exception in the Rokushima Táiyoo, which is listed as "Dark Age", but said to find the gunpowder weapons of Dementlieu "tantalizing".
*'''[[Star Wars]]:''' Not medieval, but absolutely in technological stasis in the Old Republic. In the 4000 years, the only thing that has noticeably improved is hyperdrives which have become faster and smaller. This would eventually be justified by a devestating war ~1100 years before the original film bringing about a dark age that killed several major technology companies and destroyed any FTL communication (sans courier) past the core worlds. This does ''not'' however apply to the period of 36 years covered by the films and the decades after it covered by the Expanded Universe (see below). There are some in-universe technological achievements that supposedly result in better results (the kolto made by an isolationist monopoly being replaced by the superior bacta made by multiple rival cartels, for instance, as the flesh-healing miracle drug), but none of them are really noticible through the window the audience sees.
*'''[[Dune]]:''' One of the major inspirations for ''Star Wars'' (and [[Warhammer 40K]]). At some point in the past, AI went rogue and humanity's struggle against it became a literal holy war (the Butlerian Jihad), after it ended, development of any "thinking machines" was banned by religious fiat. As a result, technological and scientific development has slowed to a crawl, new technology is seen as suspicious, the "[[Drug|Spice]]" from Arrakis allows poeple to become human supercomputers, expanded lifetimes, and have space folding, so there was no desire to experiment and find alternatives, the development of personal shields made every other weapon outdated except for melee weapons (unless you shoot a [[lasgun]] into a shield, then the [[Exterminatus|shooter, the target, and the surrounding landscape are deleted in a massive explosion]]) and the Bene Gesserit and Navigator's Guild collaborated to set up a feudalistic government with full knowledge that it would be easier to control. However, the main plot of the series is eventually revealed to be about making humanity escape this stagnation.
*'''[[Warhammer Fantasy Battles]]:''' Bretonnia is literally in Medieval Stasis despite having one of the most technologically-advanced nations right next door. The Elves of all types give no fucks about advancing their technology, but in their defense what they have still works, they have access to giant monsters such as dragons and hydras and the Dark Elves at least have progressed from bows to rapid-fire armor-piercing crossbows. The Warriors of Chaos are again literally medieval, but in their case they're Medieval [[Vikings]]. Orcs have not been introduced to the wonders of "Dakka" yet; the Lizardmen still use wood and stone but make up for it by also using dinosaurs and advanced magic. Lastly, the Ogres are pretty much in "Stone Age Stasis" as they're not very intelligent but under Overtyrant Greasus started to discover the benefits of commerce. Human nations outside of Bretonnia are at the tail end of the Renaissaince, while the Empire of Man is in slowly fighting through the early Enlightenment but they are under constant attack from various Eldritch horrors so progress is existent but slow. The only races that have had any technological developments on a grand scale are the Skaven and Dwarfs, and more so the Chaos Dwarfs. Unfortunately, most of the inventions of the Skaven end up blowing up in their face, and the Dwarfs are reluctant to share their technology with anybody other than the Empire of Man and must be centuries old before the guilds it to be produced. The Chaos Dwarfs' technology is run on daemon souls and bloody sacrifices. You can see why others have not copied them.
** The undead factions are an interesting case; while neither use technology in the game more advanced than Stone Age weaponry, they vary in the lore. The Vampire Counts vary with Luthor Harkon's pirate fleets using blackpowder weapons and The Tomb Kings themselves had varying technology, with their most technologically advanced city, Lybaras, reaching the steampunk level. Also, they have superhuman abilities, being undead eliminates many of the needs that lead people to develop technology (no need to develop automation when undead laborers don't get tired or bored and if their bodies wear out they get repaired with magic or replaced, no need for medicine because most diseases don't effect undead) and they also have magic and monsters.
** Not that any of this matters because the entire world got nuked by the Chaos Gods. The sequel setting, Age of Sigmar, has the successor factions be at roughly the same level as they were at the End Times, but stuff has become understood enough that Steam Tanks and Cannons won't randomly blow up as often and can be reliably mass produced, and it should be pointed out that Mass Production is itself a game changer. Stasis is more then raw technology: it is as much application. The setting also has more-widely-available magic than the Old World did, significantly changing and improving the qualify of life of its inhabitants (in theory, in practice it's still pretty bad due to Chaos, [[Nagash]] and the realms being pretty fucked up places even when those two aren't involved, even Azyr is under a heavy dictatorship to prevent chaos of both lowercase c and capital C varieties).

==Notable Settings ''Without'' Medieval Stasis==

*'''[[Warhammer Fantasy Battles]]:''' The Empire and the Dwarfs are actually about the level of most European countries around 1500, at the start of the early modern period and the Renaissance. They're also advancing, albeit slowly, but the problem is that they are under constant Chaos invasions and Chaos Gods themselves are not above screwing with the world, which puts something of a crimp on pure research. Imagine what Nurgle would do to the guy who discovered penicillin in this world. The fact that relations between the engineers and the Cult of Sigmar are not the best in the world does not help things at all. The other notable technology users are the Skaven, but the Skaven technology only affects their weapons (god help the world if they ever figure out sanitation considering what it did to our own population) and it's almost all magitech based on weaponizing [[Warpstone|solidified Chaos.]] Undead straddle the line between the two, with the vampires not being afraid to use technology; the problem is most of their undead minions lack the physical and mental acumen to use it while the vampires physical, mental and magical abilities make technology practically redundant to them at a personal level. The [[Tomb Kings]] had technology at the steampunk level, though this isn't represented in the game, but they are more concerned about rebuilding their realm, which has fallen into disrepair due to hundreds of years of civil war and no maintenance, rather than advancing their society. They do have something like robots in the form of their magically animated undead constructs.
*'''[[Iron Kingdoms]]:''' The Iron Kingdoms setting is one of the best examples of steampunk fantasy. They're developed to the extent of the Victorian era (the mid-to-late 1800s), with a slow-but-growing industrial revolution and the discovery and development of electricity and chemistry, with the ongoing big international clusterfuck behind the wargame constantly fueling magical and technological advancement. At the same time, it remains a recognizably fantasy setting in many ways, with wizard orders, barbarian tribes, and dangerous monster threats on the frontier demanding plucky-adventurer solutions. (Or did before the wheels came off partway through Third Edition to make way for [[Starfinder| the science fiction spin-off nobody wanted]]. Still isn't medieval stasis though.)
*'''[[Eberron]]:''' Eberron is weird and expressly focused on subverting the usual D&D cliches, so the technology is a strange mixture of all eras with a side order of JRPG-style magitech. It's one of the few settings that avoids both medieval stasis and outright steampunk, since magic is so common that it has effectively displaced technology, but unlike most settings, this manifests as mass ''availability'' of magic conveniences. As there is no continuity and by default every game starts at exactly the same point in time as every other game, in 998 YK, [[Advancing the Storyline| there's no real status quo to worry about upsetting]]. Only modules/novels that are direct sequels ever reference the events of other modules/novels as having happened.
*'''[[Dark Sun]]:''' A weird example. Depending on edition, the past of Athas may have included anything from a standard fantasy setting to a bio-mechanical halfling empire. But, either way, the Brown Age is a barbaric decline of these past glories, with little metal and no feasible way of shaping more leaving the world in an oddly-civilized nigh-Stone Age. Still, there is an undercurrent of rebuilding and reforming throughout the more-heroic-minded books on the setting, helped by the same eventual anti-continuity Eberron had, so the idea that things ''could'' progress or get better isn't ''impossible''.
*'''[[Ironclaw]]:''' The once-fantasy world is undergoing a pseudo-Renaissance shift away from magic and feudalism to machinery and Italian-style guild-republics. PCs are actually explicitly part of the burgeoning new middle class. Not bad for a furry RPG, huh?
*'''[[Mystara]]:''' Depending on where you are, there might be airships, magic-powered technological conveniences, and drill-tanks to explore the hollow earth full of dinosaurs. Either way, things are a little less generic here in proto-Eberron.
*'''[[Pathfinder]]:''' [[Golarion]] features relatively advanced technologies such as flintlock and matchlock firearms, the printing press, galleons (crewed by pirates reminiscent of the Golden Age of piracy in the Caribbean), and, in certain sourcebooks, [[Spelljammer|steampunk/magi-tech spaceships]]. Not to mention the number of people whose clothes and equipment are explicitly based on 18th-century fashions (see, among others, Andoran, Taldor, and Alkenstar). At least one source (''05-13: Hellknight's Feast'') says high class dwellings have actual porcelain toilets. Also, there's that one random corner of the world where aliens are trying to peacefully settle and/or invade, only to realize they picked the *one* corner of the world where pleas of "We come in peace!" are met with [[Barbarian|warcries and the judicious application of battleaxes to various vital areas]]. One sourcebook (''Technology Guide'') includes *lots* of super-high-tech stuff and different class archetypes that make use of it. On the socio-political front, the Chelaxian breakaways Andoran and Galt have started to push for a less aristocratic government. Come second edition, cannons have become widespread on naval vessels.
**And '''[[Starfinder]]''' reveals that at least at some point various sci-fi technologies will be developed.
*'''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]''': It was true in the past, but by the time of the original series the Fire Nation has become an industrial power, complete with colonial ambitions towards the rest of the world. In fact, the main character's previous incarnation as Avatar Roku actually ''stopped'' the Fire Nation from breaking medieval stasis ''because'' he foresaw that doing so would mean allowing them to subjugate all the other peoples; the fact that the Fire Lord during this industrial age - his former friend Fire Lord Sozin - went on a power trip after seeing the shiny new tech and outright said he had imperialist designs was also a major factor. Sure enough, the Fire Nation does so and immediately goes all Imperial Japan on the world, and the next Avatar turned out to be an Airbender who ran from the genocide of his people, which is perfectly sensible because even if they weren't the designated pacifist culture, he was literally 12 and had no way of meaningfully stopping them (''yet''). Even the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes have a few tinkerers and inventors, and during the time of Avatar Aang, the first airships and submarines are invented, albeit the magitek varieties. At the end of the show, the protagonist Avatar Aang makes peace between all three surviving factions and begins the reestabilshment of the aforementioned genocided faction, and the sequel reveals that doing so helped the world advance to a roughly 20s/30s era of technology, complete with automobiles, moving pictures, the printing press, political propaganda videos, and cronyist democracy.
*'''[[Dragonmech]]''': Dragonmech's setting used to be in Medieval Stasis, then chunks of the moon started to rain down on them along with Alien Moon Dragons riding the rocks down for a full-on invasion, people first hide underground but then a dwarf kickstarts the creation of Pacific Rim sized steampunk robots to fight the Dragons and the whole world is now in a full-on steam-powered Industrial Revolution without the gunpowder.
*'''[[Star Wars]]:''' Outside of the period between the start of the New Sith Wars (2000 BBBY) to the Ruusan Reformation (1000 BBY) (where everyone was too busy killing eachother, even more so than usual), technology actually ''does'' advance noticeably throughout Post-Reformation Old Republic and especially the prequels (32 BBY onward) all the way to the era of the Legacy comics (138 ABY). Hyperdrives improve (in speed, how small a craft they can fit in and how big a craft they can propel) at a much faster rate than they did in the 1000 years since the end of the dark age. It's not just direct improvements either, with new technologies like [[Android]]s, relatively cheap cloaking devices that don't require unobtainum, silent and invisible blasters, biological technology merged with mechanical tech, and more. Even military strategy changes significantly between back and forth transitions between symmetrical and asymmetrical warfare. Amazingly all this occurs organically as new technology is introduced to allow a plot and gets improved upon in future installments.
*'''[[Masque of the Red Death|Gothic Earth]]''': Perhaps the ultimate aversion as Gothic Earth follows real world technological history of tech development ''almost'' exactly, even stating players can only obtain certain items after a certain point in time. Ordinarily this wouldn't be notable, as Gothic Earth is still Earth, but [[RPGA|Living Death]] included some technology that was explicitly anachronistic, such as submarines capable of cross Atlantic voyages and long term submerging, and a few people who have lived somewhat longer.

[[Category:History]]
[[Category:Gamer Slang]]

A Song of Ice and Fire

2021-02-13T15:18:47Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* The appeal of A Song of Ice And Fire */

[[image:Game_of_Thrones_Title-DVD.png|300px|thumb|WIENER PARTY! WIENER PARTY!]]

{{Spoilers}}
{{Grimdark}}
'''Warning: This article contains so many spoilers we're ruining books that haven't even been released yet.'''

{{Topquote|If you think this story has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.|Ramsay Bolton, nailing the grimdark theme of this series}}

'''''A Song of Ice and Fire''''' (more better known as '''''Game of Thrones''''') is a [[Grimdark]] fantasy book series for people who hate fantasy. Its central themes include [[Tzeentch|political Machiavellian scheming]], [[Khorne|ultraviolence]], [[Slaanesh|incest/sex with exposition]], and [[Nurgle|everyone trying to survive in such a Crapsack World of perpetual suffering]]. Thus it has become one of the most popular series of our generation and its author, [[George R. R. Martin]], has been praised for his highly realized world and gritty low fantasy style. He was even called "the American [[Tolkien]]" by <s>Time magazine</s> gormless idiots who lump diametrically different writers together for no other reason than that they're both fantasy authors, which would probably explain its sudden spike in popularity following the TV show (at least [[Skub|to a point, anyway.]]) The great joke of an actual World War veteran writing a story about heroic knights and elves being compared to and contrasted with a conscientious objector who writes [[edgy|dark (ranging from edgy to grimderp)]] fantasy is not lost on most.

The series itself is set on the [[Original character, do not steal|totally not medieval European ripoff]] realm of Westeros as it is wracked by a massive succession war drawing its realms into conflict. Everyone's picking up the pieces from the pervious war until one family's bid for power starts another war (book one), A bunch of dudes declare themselves kings (book two), they're burning the continent down in their scramble for power, and somehow all the fuck-ups managed to lose anyway (book three). Just when the guys who lost the least start thinking they get to rule over the remaining chaos, more fuck ups happen and more dudes show up (book four). Sadly, winter has finally come and, unbeknownst to most people, [[Thousand Sons|evil ice wizards leading soulless undead]] [[Alpha Legion|assumed to be only myths by most people]] are about to invade the continent from the north. By the fifth book, things are going and/or will go to shit even for the bad guys.

According to a leaked fan conversation, George R. R. Martin jokingly stated the series would end with an epic cock-slap fight between Samwell Tarly and Jaime Lannister.

TL;DR: [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Roses War of Roses] redux, with a side helpin' of <s>cliched fantasy</s> George's old sci-fi writing plots given a fantasy overhaul and [[/d/]]-lite.

[[ASOIAF Miniature Game|Miniature game has their own page now]]

==Characters==
{{cleanup}}
Since these books have some thousand named characters, you won't remember most of them without an obsessive disorder over details.
Here's a relatively shortlist (mostly based on the TV series rather than the books, but seems to randomly switch between the two) for the characters you'll care about.

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===House Stark===

''"Winter Is Coming"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Honourable, bro-tier northerners who always [[Space Wolves|compare themselves to direwolves]]. They have a tendency towards [[Lawful Stupid]] that proves to bite them in the ass due to naivete about how [[Tzeentch|Westerosi corrupt politics actually works]]. They're also arguably the protagonists of the setting. Basically Scotland and/or the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_york House of York].
* Eddard Stark, ''The Quiet Wolf'': Patriarch, lord and POV death-puppet. Not nearly as stupid as everyone tries to pretend, but still a dead man walking.
* Robb Stark, ''The Young Wolf'': Shiny, [[Lawful Stupid]] King Arthur-like hero. After waging a successful war to avenge his murdered father, he was betrothed to a noblewoman but he ended having comfort sex with a virgin noblewoman which may have been arranged by her scheming bitch mother, while in softcore porno he got the hots for a commoner. Cacks it nastily: he got his head cut off and his pet's wolf's head stuck on his body, which was paraded around while his enemies chanted "HERE COMES THE KING IN THE NORTH!" In other words, he's a Scottish [[Roman Empire|Hannibal Barca]].
* Sansa Stark: Useless teenage girl extraordinaire at the start of the series with dreams of marrying a prince and "having lots of babies", but gets shat on hard by reality. Becomes Littlefinger's replacement goldfish when Catelyn's no longer around, her father got killed and her best friend was sold as a sex slave, and ended up in the worst relationship we can possibly imagine with King Joffrey. [[Grimdark|Even got deflowered via rape by Ramsey Bolton]] and married to him before managing to escape with the help of others. Currently acting as a co-ruler to her brother/cousin Jon Snow, and has learned much from her suffering, allowing her to kick Littlefinger out of the Great Game via throat slitting. While in the book Littlefinger is/was setting her up at House Arryn to claim the Vale and the North, the show version becomes QUEEN IN DA NORF in the final episode.
* Arya Stark: Little tomboy assassin. Has a kill list, but doesn't get to use it so long as she is an amnesiac apprentice of [[Officio Assassinorum|the Friendly Neighborhood Assassins Guild]]. After breaking away (in the TV series) from the Faceless Men she heads back to Westeros to get revenge on a LOT of people, giving her one of the highest kill counts in the series. Is currently back with her sister Sansa, acting as a general "troubleshooter". Kills the Night King like a fucking champion [[Skub|(or, alternatively, in a nonsensical plot twist)]] in Season 8, and is now riding south to add Cersei to her kill count. Instead, the Hound talks her out of it and she decides to sail into the unknown west.
* Catelyn Stark (nee Tully): A woman who trusts the wrong people at the worst time, causing a lot of misery. Gets killed along with Robb, then comes back (books only) as an undead witch bent on killing all the Boltons, Freys, Greyjoys, Lannisters... pretty much everyone she thinks was tangentially involved in betraying her and her family, or somebody who just pissed her off.
* Bran Stark: Intelligent little boy, named after the founder of House Stark, Brandon the Builder (basically Tony Stark combined with [[Leman Russ]]). He was crippled in the first sign of major [[GrimDark]]. Has prophetic dreams and becomes a [[druid]]. In the TV series, fucks things up by alerting the Others to where he's hiding, which gets all of the Children, his loyal wolf, the Three-Eyed Crow and Hodor killed. For good measure, turns out to have accidentally ''caused'' Hodor to become, well, Hodor, as he was using his druid powers to figure out why Hodor is only able to say Hodor, resulting in Hodor's gruesome death-by-zombies being beamed directly into young! Hodor's brain. He's now the Three-Eyed Raven and likes going around being creepy as fuck and generally weirding people out. Becomes King of the <s>Seven</s> Six Kingdoms in a hilariously nonsensical plot twist in the finale.
* Rickon Stark: Four years old at the start, turning into a real little [[Barbarian]] from not being raised properly, because everyone who would have raised him was dead or missing. In the show, he ends up hanging out at the Umbers, then is handed over to Ramsay as a prisoner when Smalljon becomes afraid of the Wildlings living north of him (who were invited by Jon Snow to fight the Zombie Apocalypse), and finally dies via arrow in a sick game of "dodge the missiles" courtesy of Ramsey.
* Jon Snow, ''The White Wolf'': A bastard living in the Stark household before leaving for the Night's Watch (basically [[The Last Chancers|Colonel Schaeffer]] with more convicted rapists under his command) and excels there because nearly every one of his fellow recruits are peasants who have never had a formal days of training while Jon has had the serious training afforded to all lords. After he takes over by becoming the Watch Commander secures and alliance with the Wildlings, ancient barbarian enemies of the Night's Watch, because when the end of the world is coming you tend to think outside the box. Currently revived by R'hllor in the series after being stabbed to death by the senior members of the Watch. Isn't actually Eddard's bastard son, but rather the legitimate son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, meaning that he is, in fact, the rightful heir to the Iron Throne. The new KING IN DA NORF according to his supporters after he killed Ramsay Bolton and took back Winterfell, and is also currently hooking up with his own aunt. He turns on Daenerys once he realizes she's lost it and kills her in the throne room. The Unsullied want his head, but instead, King Bran exiles him to the Night's Watch and he fucks off into the far north to live with the Free Folk.
* Hodor: Hodor. Hodor, Hodor, Hodor. <s>An enormous and possibly retarded stable boy, and Bran's faithful steed.</s> Hodor. Ok, in all actual seriousness, this guy is probably one of the most tragic figures in this series (and that's saying something). [[Grimdark|The guy basically received horrible visions of his own death fighting a horde of zombies, buying time for his friends to escape by literally holding the door shut as he was hacked apart]]. This causes him to suffer a psychiatric break, leading him to develop Immature Personality Disorder and his only speech is to repeat a garbled phrase of his friend's last request "hold the door" for all of his adult life; the logic here is that "hold the door" devolves into "hol' th' door" and eventually "Hodor". You now feel bad for at laughing at the guy.
* Osha: A Wildling woman who surrendered to the Starks and becomes their servant in exchange for not getting killed. Now dead in the show thanks to Ramsay's dickery.</div></div>

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===House Targaryen===

''"Fire and Blood"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The former Dragon kings and rulers of Westeros, [[Eldar|fair-haired purple-eyed beautiful people]] who have descended from the [[Dark Age of Technology|ancient technologically-advanced superpower]] of [[Roman Empire|Valyria]], which collapsed because of [[Fall of the Eldar|their colossal hubris]]. After the anarchic [[Age of Strife|Century of Blood]], the Targaryen patriarch Aegon I, instead of reconquering the lost cause of Essos and of Valyria's former empire, looked towards the rather primitive continent of Westeros, and its squabbling Seven Kingdoms, [[Great Crusade|to establish his own Imperial dynasty and unify the Realm]]. Aegon I is essentially the Low Fantasy version of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_the_Conqueror William the Conqueror] and/or the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]], with a little dash of [[/d/|incest]].

[[Rules Lawyer|Thanks to a loophole]], the Targaryens were immune to the moral objections relating to incest. Common sense (and common decency) took back seat to a time-honoured policy of [[/d/|catastrophic inbreeding]], which made a number of problems. Aegon I married his older and younger sisters and had several kids with each, which would be the start of another Targaryen tradition: the occasional succession crisis. The inbreeding would also lead to a line of almost alternatingly great and lunatic kings, culminating in Aerys "The Mad King" Targaryen and a palace coup. Eventually, the lineage was banished to Essos after a brutal civil war, the remnants trying to gather armies to retake the Iron Throne which they see as rightfully theirs. Basically a family of inbreeding girly-men with a massive sense of superiority and as arrogant as they come, forgetting that most of what they accomplished was due to the fact that only they had dragons. Still, they occasionally did have genuinely good people like Aegon V (aka Egg), Jaeherys I the Conciliator, his wife Good Queen Alysanne and complete badasses like Brynden Bloodraven and Baelor Breakspear.
Pseudo-Romans and/or the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Normandy House of Normandy].

* Aerys II, ''The Mad King'': [[Kharn|A pretty fun guy to be around]]. Had a psychotic fascination for fire, which extended to being a psychotic fascination for burning traitors, a category of people that eventually grew to include anybody he disliked for any reason, anyone who disagreed with him, and a few people who were unlucky enough to be caught in the crossfire. [[Goge Vandire|Teamkilled by his bodyguard Jaime for planning to burn the city down with everyone inside it, and even refused to accept his death until he actually died]].
* [[Mary Sue|Daenerys Targaryen]], ''Stormborn'': She was sold by her brother to a barbarian leader [[Genghis motherfucking Khan|Khal (warlord) Drogo]] in exchange for the promise that he'd use his Khalassar (Warband/tribe) to conquer Westeros. She found her self esteem as his wife, then her husband killed her idiot brother Viserys and promised to conquer the world for Daenerys, making her a full-fledged badass barbarian war queen. Unfortunately, her husband died when [[Derp|Daenerys trusted one of the slaves whose town Drogo had pillaged and burnt to heal an infected wound of his]] and his horde fell apart (though the book is somewhat ambiguous as to whether the slave did kill Drogo). Then she hatched three dragons (completely by accident when she tried to commit suicide) bringing them back from extinction, and now everyone wants to marry her because she is now one of the most powerful people around due to said dragons and being good-looking (in the books this is by the age-of-consent in Westeros standards, where girls are women when they start getting their periods and boys are men at age 13). [[Gets shit done]] except the entire fifth book, in which she mopes around about wanting to marry an annoying, flamboyant mercenary instead of saving herself for political marriage. After banging the flamboyant mercenary, she later marries a Meereenese noble who guarantees he can get her some peace (more likely [[Just As Planned|just as he planned]]). She also does nothing while insurgents kill her men, a horde of plagued refugees spread disease to her city and standing idly by while an enemy army besieges her walls, all for realistically political reasons because the world is a horrible place. Learns how to train her dragon. While she's stuck with a Khalassar in the books, in the TV series she made it to Westeros invading the place with an army of elite hoplites, a massive horde of Dothraki and her dragons. By the time she gets to King's Landing she's taken significant losses, including two of her dragons, and is fucking her nephew (Jon Snow). Has officially gone Mad Queen as of S8E5, wherein she burned most of King's Landing after the city attempted to surrender. Jon kills her in the series finale so that she won't go around burninating the rest of the world.
* The dragons: The three dragons that Daenerys hatched. They're wyverns that breathe fire, [[Awesome|have blood hot enough to melt steel]], and [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|cook their meat before eating it]]. Naturally, some of the coolest things in the story.
** Drogon; named for her late husband, Khal Drogo. Black and Red, the biggest and [[Gork|most aggressive dragon]]. Starts eating people and then escapes, leading to the other two getting imprisoned. Interrupts a gladiator tournament, killing a lot of people before being whipped by Daenerys into flying her to a Khalassar that broke off from her husband's after his death. Is now the last dragon standing after Viserion bites it north of the Wall and his undead body is put down at Winterfell and Rhaegal gets shot down over Dragonstone. Takes Dany's body, destroys the Iron Throne and fucks off to who knows where after Dany is killed.
** Rhaegal; named for the first of her dead brothers, Rhaegar. Green and gold, the [[Mork|cunning one]] and the loudest (with a roar "...that would have sent a hundred lions fleeing,"). Kills Quentyn Martell when the latter is trying to goad Viserion (see below). After breaking out of jail with Viserion they go "all your bases are belong to us" on Meereen, killing people and taking over the pyramid of a loyal family as his lair. Last seen playing "sack the town" with Viserion in the books. Is now dead in the show thanks to Euron Greyjoy and some Diabolus ex Machina bullshit.
** Viserion; named for her other brother Viserys. White and gold and the [[Vulkan|friendliest]] (as dragons go, he still eats people). Dug cave for himself in his jail then moved into another pyramid after his and his brother's great escape. Gets killed by the [[Vampire Counts|Night's King in the show via a magic spear, then his corpse is reanimated to be the Night King's zombie dragon steed]] and blasts a hole in the famous Wall, allowing the armies of snow elves and zombies to start flooding Westeros. Now perma-dead thanks to the Night King biting it.
* Viserys Targaryen, ''The Beggar King'': Daenerys' physically abusive older brother. Best known for being a bully with incestuous lust for her, and an arrogant and incompetent fuck with a massive sense of entitlement. He eventually got himself killed for being an all-around jerk and whiny idiot, which culminated in him threatening his sister and unborn nephew with a sword while drunk in a sacred Dothraki place where weapons and bloodshed are forbidden on pain of death (execution is done by bloodless death - having a scarf wrapped tight around the neck and being drowned in a barrel). Daenerys' husband [[awesome|poured molten gold over his head and called it his promised crown, also ensuring his death didn't technically shed any blood in their sacred place]].
* Aegon Targaryen, ''Aegon VI'': Daenerys' nephew, the son of her brother Rhaegar. Been hiding in Essos for the entire length of the series, but recently raised an army of Westerosi exiles and threw them all a massive Welcome Home party with rape and pillage. Wants to marry his aunt because she has dragons, and might not actually be a member of House Targaryen if you believe some fans. He can actually count past 6, can multiply numbers, can read different language and has a minor understanding of geometry thus cementing him as one of the most educated people in this overwrought series. Can also do his own laundry.
* Brynden Rivers ''Bloodraven'': A Targaryen bastard who came to prominence about a hundred years before the series as sort of sorcerer, he later became known as the "Three-Eyed Raven/Crow" after encountering the Children of the Forest, and uses his powers to help advert the Long Night and train Bran. He's described as having long, white hair, missing an eye, bound to a tree, knows all and sees all, associated heavily with ravens and omens... [[Vikings|yeah, he's very much Odin, come to think of it.]]</div></div>

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===House Lannister===

''Hear Me Roar"/"A Lannister Always Pays His Debts"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">[[Monopoly|Westeros' richest family]], proud, pompous, selfish and fabulous assholes. Not much of a martial tradition but if you cross them [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7t7cnwlOgY they will fucking cut you]. You can tell they are the bad guys because they have an army of sick fucks, including a zebra-riding mercenary band and 7' 8" Khornate Champion <s>not-Goliath</s> Gregor Clegane. House Lancaster combined with the House of Rothschild and the Mafia.
* Tywin Lannister, ''The Lion of Lannister'': The Godfather, head of the house, and obsessed with his reputation as a Magnificent Bastard extraordinaire. Lawful Evil Personified. He was a most feared general whose greatest achievement was [[Exterminatus|erasing House Reyne from existence]], which was immortalised in his own sweet-yet-creepy-as-fuck theme song (The Rains of Castamere) that became used as a warning against anyone standing against him. During his tenure as Hand of the King (i.e. Prime Minister), he was a political genius who operates as the true power behind the Iron Throne, keeping the realm stable and prosperous despite the stupidity of Aerys II and Joffrey. However, despite all of his achievements, he was an [[Emperor|absolutely terrible father]], who treats his children as nothing more than tools to further his political agenda. He is completely blind to the incestuous relationship his two oldest children had, and hated Tyrion and made his life a living hell for very poor reasons. He humiliated Tyrion whenever it wouldn't threaten the family's reputation, berated Tyrion for being a whore-monger despite secretly being one himself, [[Grimdark|tried to get him killed multiple times]], and as the capstone of awful parenting, he taught Tyrion not to marry commoners after he married one called Tysha - by forcing Tyrion to watch Tysha get gang-raped, forcing him to rape her too and then annulling their marriage. The only person Tywin truly loved was his wife. He eventually gets his comeuppance when Tyrion finds out the truth about the Tysha incident and kills him with a crossbow, all while mentioning that out of all his children, Tyrion was the most alike to Tywin himself. He's based on [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Neville,_16th_Earl_of_Warwick Warwick the Kingmaker].
* Joanna Lannister: Tywin's late wife and first cousin, meaning the next three characters are inbred as well, ironically. Dies giving birth to Tyrion, which is part of why Tywin hates him, though Cersei hates him for other reasons. Caught wind of Cersei and Jaime's incestuous tendencies, but she died before she could tell Tywin. It is implied that her ghost visits Jaime in a dream and mourns the current state of her family.
* Cersei Lannister, ''Cunt Queen'': Tywin and Joanna's first child. Twin sister to Jaime Lannister and wife to King Robert Baratheon. She fucks her brother Jaime all the time and had three of his children, whom she passed off as Robert's to grab power. She is a massive narcissist who thinks of herself as "female Tywin" and hence seeks to rule Westeros as the Queen, and will do anything to keep her power... even when [[Abbadon the Despoiler|most of her plans end up becoming utter failures]]. Crazy as all fuck and prophesied to be killed by the "little brother." This is because of a prophecy a Gypsy made when Cersei was a child that she'd be a beautiful queen, lose everything, her children would die before her, and the "Valonqar" would kill her. Though that does explain why she hates Tyrion as hard as all fuck, [[Just As Planned|the exact translation of the term]] that was used is "younger sibling", and not necessarily her sibling, which opens the door to all sorts of characters who hate the fuck out of her. Since Jaime is technically younger by a few seconds, him killing Cersei would be an interesting twist not without buildup. Possibly the Gypsy was messing with her head because of what a bitch Cersei was being to her; something Cersei never grew out of. Cersei is currently alive only because Varys wants her to be, [[Just As Planned|as she's a terrible queen who'll destabilize the realm enough for him to bring back the Targaryens]]. She was completely shaved, stripped of power in all but her royal heritage and forced to do a nude walk of penance throughout the city by the High Sparrow (ASOIAF Pope equivalent) after he uncovered her crimes. Now she's waiting for her hair to grow back and maybe thinking of revenge. She gets it in the show by blowing up the Sept (ASOIAF church) with everyone she doesn't like inside it, having her cousin killed near the Wildfire then capturing the nun who was her jailer and [[Grimdark|leaving her to be tortured to death by zombie Gregor Clegane]]. She is in short Thanquol disguised as a beautiful blonde woman. Gets anticlimactically squashed by a collapsing ceiling along with Jaime during Daenerys's assault on King's Landing. (her biggest issue? to don't die sooner, for the seven's sake!)
* Jaime Lannister, ''The Kingslayer'': Younger twin brother (by about three seconds) to Cersei Lannister and commander of the Kingsguard. He loves his sister in every sense of the word and had three children with her. Killed the last king despite his oath, and is widely hated for it, even though everyone agrees that dying was a massive improvement for Aerys. The reason for this betrayal was that Aerys had a huge stockpile of Acme Brand Magic Napalm stockpiled under the city, ready to be set off the moment a siege broke through the town walls, and Jaime's options were to let it happen or kill Aerys before the crazy fuck got ''everybody'' killed. His desire to openly love his sister and win the respect he feels he deserves eventually causes Cersei to reject him. Starts off as an arrogant douche [[Grimdark|and tried to murder Bran Stark, but accidentally crippled him instead]]; he becomes otherwise quite bro-tier besides the whole wants-to-fuck-his-sister thing, though he grows out of ''that'' as well when he realizes what a bitch she is and that there's plenty of women who want his jock - even the hunky Brienne isn't that bad looking. Thoroughly humbled to boot after learning a few hard lessons, losing his sword hand, and having some time to rethink his life. Also, the only person in his family who treats Tyrion well, along with one of his aunts and two dead uncles. Essentially, a more incestuous and douchey Blood Angel. In the books, he is currently being lured into a trap by Lady Stoneheart. In the show, he has finally told Cersei to get fucked after realizing that she has well and truly lost it, and is riding north to help fight the White Walkers. He survives the Battle of Winterfell, hooks up with Brienne, and then rides south [[Derp|because he just can't let Cersei go.]] Winds up getting shanked by Euron Greyjoy and dies [[Fail|via collapsing ceiling]].
* Tyrion Lannister, ''Halfman'': a very intelligent dwarf who is awesome, but hated by all of the civilized characters in the books, except his brother Jaime. He seems to do much better when getting drunk with whores, rogues, bastards and barbarians. His silver tongue is one of his greatest strengths (he's witty and good at persuading people) and weaknesses (he's quick with insults and the truth in a city ruled by sociopaths and liars). Tyrion is also one of the only characters with an actual sense of the bigger picture, and an interest toward steering the world toward an outcome that ''doesn't'' involve a [[The End Times|Warhammer End Times]] scenario. Unfortunately, the world's movers, shakers, and those who generally have the power to make a difference are increasingly either a) dead, b) scattered to the winds or c) hate his dwarf guts. Despite the increasing difficulty and fruitlessness of his task, however, [[Awesome|Tyrion still fights]]. After being framed for killing Joffrey, he killed his own father and is currently in exile in the Free Cities, weaselling his way into leading a merc band and trying to sign them up with Daenerys' forces, recognizing her as one of the few chances Westeros has got of fixing its shit (provided she can get her own shit together, which she's having a bit of trouble with). Since characters in this series tend to either be walking tropes, rip-offs of other fantasy characters, or historical people with different names, Tyrion is probably based on the great [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miles_Vorkosigan Miles Vorkosigan] (who was himself based on a few people including Sir Winston Churchill) and is a nod to King Richard III (a deformed but competent king later demonized by historians of his era). Even if he is usually the smartest one in the room at any given time, though, Tyrion is still not above having some derp moments. Exhibit A, when Tyrion asked his father what happened to his first wife (right before killing him), he took an ''obvious'' "I don't know and I don't care," response ("Wherever whores go") as actual, literal directions. The show version meets Daenerys and becomes her Hand only to [[Fail|fuck up a bunch of stuff]] and lose her trust. Sells her out when he realizes that she's gone round the bend and winds up becoming Hand to King Bran.
* Kevan Lannister: Tywin's younger brother, considered "the reliable one". One of the few decent Lannisters, though saying that he is perfectly happy carrying out Tywin's bidding. Tried to talk sense into Cersei and was later called in to try and fix her mess. He did such a good job of it that Varys decided to personally thank him. With a crossbow. And a group of knife-wielding children. In the show he dies with the rest of the crowd when the Great Sept got nuked by Cersei - the manner of his book death was given over to Grand Maester Pycelle at the exact same time.
* Cersei and Robert's (actually Jaime's) children:
** Joffrey Baratheon: "Heir" of the throne, and the technical king of Westeros during the War of the Five Kings since he lives in King's Landing and sits on the throne. Turned out to be worse than Aerys. He died and there was much rejoicing. [[Fail|Except by his mother, who instead had sex on his corpse]]. Fourteen years old at the time of his death.
** Tommen Baratheon: The new king on the Iron Throne. Nine years old. Married to a teenaged shotacon wife who's (unknown to him) the granddaughter of his brother's true killer. Trying to litigate the criminalization of beets. Loves [[Cats|kittens]]. He's pretty well-rounded and non-fucked up, which is a miracle considering his parents, both putative and biological. Also seems to be trying to take kinging seriously, but his mom is trying to quash that in her subliminal attempt to hold power indefinitely, so whether it holds is another matter entirely. Prophesied to die before Cersei, which doubly tragic due to his age and being a much better person than her. He commits suicide after Cersei gets her revenge via killing his wife, godfather, great-uncle, and all his religious friends via blowing up the ASOIAF equivalent of St. Peter's Basilica, because of course her power hunger was more important than his happiness and well being.
** Mycella Baratheon: Princess, and Cersei and "Robert's" second oldest child. She had her face fucked up because of Arianne Martell's amateur intrigues, which overlapped with poor planning, general stupidity, and another guy's backstabbing. Ten years old. Before the maiming, she was quite decent and non-evil. Who knows how she'll turn out now with half of her face cut off. Also prophesied to die before Cersei. In the show, she had a crush on Oberyn's surviving nephew but was killed by Elia in revenge for Oberyn's death, but alive in the books though missing an ear. Also, the readership all got on George's balls for maiming this girl, mostly because it was a sign that he had run out of ideas and was basically just milking Diabolus ex Machina ([[Just As Planned|or that's what he wants us to think]]).
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===House Baratheon===

''"Ours is the Fury"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Ascended to the Iron Throne after a successful rebellion against the Mad King Aerys II Targaryen. Produces no less than three claimants to the succession, each one very different from the other. Technically a cadet branch of House Targaryen as their founder Orys was allegedly a Targaryen bastard, who took the original Storm Kings (House Durrandon) deer sigil after killing the last one and fucking his only child Argella and then 200 odd years later, King Egg's daughter married their grandfather, they're pretty much the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Plantagenet House of Plantagenet].
* Robert Baratheon, ''The Usurper'': Fat, old, former badass who led the rebellion, and now the king who married Cersei Lannister. Then he fucked a bunch of other women and had lots of illegitimate kids. He was killed while mixing boar hunting and drinking, but whether this death was planned or not is uncertain. On the surface, a king with a thing for easy laughs and partying; right underneath the surface, he's irresponsible and leaves the actual ruling of a nation to his staff, deeper under the surface he's pretty much a sad, lonely old bro who would rather not have been king. Comparable to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_IV_of_England Henry IV], in that both were powerfully built military geniuses who overthrew the existing monarchy and later succumbed to an unhealthy lifestyle.
* Stannis '''The Mannis''' Baratheon: Robert's younger brother, an all-around badass who swings between [[Lawful Stupid]] (more so in the show than the books) and [[gets shit done|getting shit done]]. [[Judge Dredd|believes so strongly in the rule of law]] that he feels compelled to take the Iron Throne for himself despite wanting nothing to do with it. Is advised by a priestess of the God of light, Melisandre, and a lowborn smuggler named Davos Seaworth raised to knighthood and nobility. [[C.S Goto|His character is ruined in the show into an incompetent pawn of Melisandre and gets killed off just because one of the showrunners didn't like him]].
** Shireen Baratheon: Stannis's kid daughter. The sweet, charming, and intelligent little lady who was left with a deformity on her face from a disease called greyscale. Teaches Davos how to read, and is probably the most innocent person in the series alongside Tommen, Myrcella and a few others. Being the grim and dark universe A Song of Ice and Fire is, however, this means that she's likely going to end up becoming fuel for a vicious fire god. In the show she does, but in the books, she is safe and sound since Stannis isn't stupid enough to bring him with her while campaigning. His wife, on the other hand, being such an idiotic fanatical pyromaniac... well, her odds aren't exactly looking that great.
* Renly Baratheon, ''That Gay Guy'': Robert and Stannis's youngest brother. Took Loras Tyrell (a.k.a. Knight of Flowers, Pretty Boy, etc.) as his lover. Decided he was better suited to be king, though the bizarre and outdated laws of the land stated Stannis was next in line (though Joffrey and then Tommen were first since they were [[Pretend|officially]] Bobby B's legitimate kids). Was hugely popular since he had Robert's charisma, which led to him getting the most support, but he lacked Stannis's conviction and devotion to the duty of actually doing the work of a king, or even Robert's ability to wage war. Killed by Melisandre with some "help" by Stannis ''The Mannis'' for trying to steal his crown, though in the books Stannis may not have been completely aware of the role he played in Renly's death. He's basically [[That Guy]] of ASOIAF, since quite a lot of shit is his fault, indirectly or otherwise.
*Gendry Baratheon, the Bastard Son. One of Robert's many, many bastard children, and the one who gets the most page and screen time. He starts out as a humble blacksmith in King's Landing, who first comes to Ned's attention when Lord Stark is investigating the death of Jon Arryn. From there, he gets shipped off to the Night's Watch to avoid the imminent purge of Robert's bastards and winds up becoming friends with Arya and Hot Pie. After some adventuring and sexual tension with Arya (at least in the show), he joins the Brotherhood Without Banners. In the show, they sell him to Melisandre so she can use him for a blood magic ritual, while in the books he just goes on being a smith and doesn't get involved in anything particularly weird or shady. He's helping run an inn as a brotherhood front/orpganage when he reappears in the books, but in the show, Ser Davos sets him free and tells him to fuck off, which he does for a few seasons. He eventually turns up back in King's Landing, where Davos finds him and recruits him (and his comically oversized LARPing hammer) for Team Snow. He helps Jon capture a wight to show Cersei, makes dragonglass weapons for the Army of the Living, has sex with Arya, and fights in the Battle of Winterfell, after which Daenerys legitimizes him as the new lord of House Baratheon.</div></div>

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===House Tully===

''"Family, Duty, Honor"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> Lords of the central river lands. Being the obligatory central nation they spend a lot of the series being fought over like a cake in between fat kids. Basically Poland/Netherlands, given they have so many rivers and how hard they've been fucked over.
*Edmure Tully: Basically the SoIaF universe's eternal butt monkey (because he happens to be a decent fucking person). A useless ponce with a dense streak a mile wide and a bad habit of bragging about things he shouldn't be proud of. It took hanging in a stockade for a few months to make him experience some growth. When Jaime was brought in to unfuck the situation and end the siege at Tully's house in Riverrun, Jaime's "negotiation" pressured him into convincing his house to surrender, but he made sure [[Troll|that Brynden got out first]]. Currently spending his days at the Lannister house as a hostage to make sure that the Tullys don't try to ruin the situation again. Tries to make a case for himself as king in the final episode, only to get shut down by Sansa.
*Brynden Tully ''the Blackfish'': He didn't catch the memo that he was part of the joke faction, and proceeds to spend the entire series fucking Lannister shit up and generally being a boss. Thought to be the black sheep in a family of fish. (Thus "Blackfish", geddit?) Ended up holed up in Riverrun, and got the fuck out right before the end of the siege, so that the Lannisters couldn't dick him over as a prisoner (or so he can keep dicking them over before he became a prisoner). Also widely accepted by the fans to be a closeted homosexual. In the HBO show, he gets killed when resisting arrest from Tully forces by order of Edmure. [[Rage|And it happens offscreen.]]</div></div>

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===House Arryn===

''"As High as Honor"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Mountain lords turned [[NEET|neurotic shut ins]]. Goes through lords about as quickly as you would expect a castle equipped with a door that opens into empty air. Basically Switzerland/Afghanistan, seeing as how they stayed neutral in the War of Five Kings, their land is covered by nothing but mountains, and they're constantly fighting with the local tribes. They were being entertainingly screwed over by Littlefinger until his death.
*Jon Arryn: Only appears posthumously and is the catalyst for the whole plot. The true mastermind behind Robert's Rebellion was killed by Littlefinger via Lysa when he figured out that Robert's kids are bastards of Cersei and Jaime. His death was blamed on the Lannisters to destabilize Westeros.
*Lysa Arryn: Loli bride turned Lady of the Vale after the Lannisters forcibly retired her husband from life, at least officially. In reality, Littlefinger convinced her to poison her husband and blame the Lannisters [[Just As Planned|which pretty much started this whole clusterfuck to begin with]]. A closeted, crazy woman who spends the entire series in her castle "the Eyrie" being useless, breastfeeding her own son at age 10, obsessing over Littlefinger's cock, and [[Derp|refusing to help her sister and nephew in the war she and Littlefinger pretty much started]], which may have guaranteed their eventual horrific murders by their enemies. Finally gets her comeuppance when Littlefinger kicks her out the moon door (post-taunting, of course), putting her out of our collective misery. Long live the Lord Protector.
* Robert Arryn: ''Littlefuck'', Lysa's equally mentally unstable autistic son, who still sucks on his mom's tit, and enjoys seeing people "fly" out the moon door to their deaths. He actually seems to be a bit smarter than you would first think and is a really, really good judge of character, except with Sansa. Secretly being poisoned by Littlefinger and Sansa, so she can take over the Vale and North. Named Robin in the show because the showrunners were afraid that having two characters with the same name would be too confusing. The show version doesn't get poisoned but turns up in the series finale as the Lord of the Vale.</div></div>

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===House Greyjoy===

''"We Do Not Sow"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">[[Awesome|A house founded by Cthulhu-worshipping Norscans]]. While not actual Vikings in any sense of the word, there is little other way to describe them. They live on some islands and almost their entire culture is based around raiding and the ocean. Their religion holds it shameful for a man to pay for personal possessions, and states they have to get things either by trade or The Iron Price; seizing something from the body or belongings of someone he defeated in conquest rather than paying or trading for it. Also, only possessions acquired via The Iron Price command respect among the Ironborn.
*Balon Greyjoy: Asshole dad, crappy ruler and general shithead who rebelled against Robert Baratheon and failed miserably. All of his sons were killed, except for Theon, who was taken as a hostage to ensure his good behaviour. Despite being in a position to join either the Lannisters or the Starks during the War of Five Kings and thereby get whatever he wanted from either (independence and the North, or independence and Casterly Rock, respectively), he does the absolute stupidest thing possible and declares himself independent without support from anyone, attacking the North and the rest of Westeros, thereby virtually guaranteeing that he'll be on the receiving end of another one-sided battle. Never got that far, though, since he was pushed off a bridge during a storm by an assassin his brother Euron sent.
*Victarion Greyjoy: Admiral of the Iron Fleet. [[Gets shit done]] while wearing [[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Lokhir Fellheart's]] armour during boarding actions. Does it for vengeance, the lulz and as a ticket to Ironborn heaven (which they believe men can reach if they die in battle or by drowning). Worships both R'hllor and the Drowned God. For all his badassery, is far too stupid to realize that his black Red Priest sidekick's constant rambling about his "great destiny" is inevitably going to end in his burning to death on a sacrificial pyre. Said Red Priest impressed Victarion by surviving being marooned at sea for 3 weeks and turning Victarion's infected arm into a super-strong volcano arm. Seriously.
*Aeron Greyjoy ''Damphair'': A priestly Alan Moore who drank seawater. Once a fun-loving party animal, he nearly drowned during the Greyjoy Rebellion and became a dour and devout priest of the Ironborn [[Cthulhu]] religion. Confirmed to have been raped by Euron when they were kids. Planned to overthrow Euron, who bribed and manipulated his way into becoming king of the Ironborn. [[Grimdark|Was captured by Euron and tortured to try and make him renounce his faith, including feeding him spoiled food, drugging him and burning him. Later Euron tied Aeron, naked, to the prow of Euron's ship alongside Euron's tortured, pregnant former lover because she showed Aeron kindness by once giving him proper food]]. He tried to console her by saying their suffering will end in underwater Valhalla, [[Awesome|showing Euron failed to make him deny his faith]].
*Theon Greyjoy: Son of the Lord/King of the Iron Islands. Had the personality of a stereotypical high school jock, being an excellent archer and womanizer and proud of it. He was given to Ned Stark by his father after Balon failed to successfully rebel against Robert Baratheon. Swore an oath to Robb, but then ditched him out of a desperate need to please his father. Ends up castrated and acts as the personal slave of Ramsay Bolton after Ramsay puts him through horrific torture to turn him into Reek. Rescued by his sister, but the psychological trauma meant it took a while before he could stop calling himself Reek and start getting back to normal mentally (physically he's now missing a few parts that don't heal or grow back). Dead in the show, thanks to charging the Night King by himself while protecting Bran.
* Asha Greyjoy: Theon's older sister and a commander of some renown which is quite a feat - almost every man on the Iron Islands except her father either tried to get in her pants or told her to [[-4 STR|stop playing around and go do some actual women's work]], before she kicked enough ass that they respected her. Rescues Theon after he escapes Ramsay but then loses him to Stannis. Is named Yara in the show because the showrunners thought her name sounded too similar to Osha the wildling chick and is also apparently [[PROMOTIONS|bisexual]]. Eventually becomes Lady of the Iron Islands in the show because she's the last Greyjoy standing.
*Euron Greyjoy ''Crow's Eye'': A [[Chaos|sick fuck Lovecraftian pirate armed with unnatural sorcerous powers, so evil]] that Balon banished him from the Iron Islands. Every member of his crew is a mute because Euron ripped all their tongues out. Many of them are also the illegitimate sons of women he's raped around the world during his raids. Uses an eyepatch to conceal a pitch-black eye, his personal "obviously a villain" mark. Raped his brother Victarion's wife, then claimed she wanted it so Victarion had to kill her. Raped his younger brother Aeron. Also showed back up in the Iron Islands the day after Balon died, despite having been raping and pillaging in Essos before that, which is suspicious as fuck. Now the new Iron King. Plans to conquer Westeros and has some unknown plan to deal with Daenerys. Revealed in the book ''Winds of Winter'' to be [[Honsou|the sickest fuck in an entire setting of sick fucks (and that's saying something)]], including having a god complex while hating religion so much he [[Grimdark|tortures any clergymen he captures to try and make them give up their faiths using ironic tortures themed around their religions - such as preachers have their tongues cut out and burning priests of the fire god to death]]. Euron tried and failed to break his priest brother Aeron's faith so he lashed Aeron to the front of his ship to die [[Grimdark|alongside Euron's own pregnant lover Falia]]. In the show he's just a psycho pirate turned king without any magic powers or gear who wants to bang Cersei and Jaime kills him in the second-to-last episode. </div></div>

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===House Tyrell===

''"Growing Strong"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Lords of Highgarden and backstabbers par-excellence and owners of a lot of fertile land. Unlike the current lot of Lannisters they understand the value of good PR, balancing ruthlessness with being somewhat amicable, political savvy and not being stuck-up on honour. They're basically France. [[Fail|Unfortunately, they've all been wiped out in the show]].
*Mace "The Ace" Tyrell: Lord of Highgarden. Massively fat and overweight, while being stupid, overreaching and constantly mocked by everyone else, he's otherwise known as a friendly man, a good Lord when it comes to management and a good father; unfortunately, this isn't enough to save a man in the Game of Thrones. Gets killed with the rest of the noble houses when Cersei blows up the Great Sept of Baelor.
*Olenna Tyrell: The brains behind House Tyrell's schemes. Known as the ''Queen of Thorns'' for being an outspoken, prickly and venomous old lady. Schemed with Littlefinger to have Joffrey killed, but she carried it out with compressed powder "gems" that poisoned his wine. Now she keeps her family in line and is hailed as a more progressive version of Tywin. Became a fan favourite for constantly dropping awesome one-liners and telling the Sand Snakes to shut up. [[Fail|Later killed off in the show]], but not before revealing to Jaime that [[Awesome|she was the one who killed Joffrey and asking him to make sure Cersei knows it]].
*Willas Tyrell: Mace Tyrell's eldest son and heir, crippled at a very young age when jousting against Oberyn Martell. Probably one of the most pleasant and sensible characters in the series, which might explain why he's yet to make an appearance. Very fond of breeding animals, especially horses.
*Garlan Tyrell ''The Gallant'': Second-born son. Badass extraordinaire considered one of the best swords in Westeros, and one of the few people kind to Tyrion. Trains for real combat (often against multiple opponents by himself) unlike Loras, who's a tourney fighter. Single-handed wrecks many notable knights fighting for Stannis during the War of The Five Kings. And he is the only person other than Tywin to put Joffrey in his place, at his own wedding. Sadly no POV chapter yet and omitted from the TV series (Loras takes credit for his deeds).
*Loras Tyrell ''The Knight of Flowers'': The Tyrell who appears most in the series. Considered to be an example of the perfect knight, despite his youth. Is secretly Renly's gay lover and conspired to take the throne with him and his sister. Last seen badly injured in the books attempting to take Stannis' castle. In the show he ends up tortured by the members of the Faith for being gay [[C.S Goto|because the showrunners retconned them to hate gay people]], [[Protectorate of Menoth|later joins their ranks of questionable willingness]] then dies when Cersei blows up the Sept of Baelor.
*Margaery Tyrell: The would-be Queen of Westeros, she has married, in order, Renly Baratheon (gay), Joffrey Baratheon (evil), and Tommen Baratheon (8 years old) and has been crowned as queen three times. While she is nice, she is capable of manipulation. In the show, she marries and uses sex to control Tommen. Was arrested by the resident Chamber Militant The Sparrow and asked for a trial by faith in the books. In the show, this also happens but she tries to be pious in an attempt to save herself but ended up getting killed when Cersei blew up the Sept of Baelor.
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===House Bolton===

''"Our Blades Are Sharp"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The Starks' most important (and most despised) vassal, a former arch-rival made of [[Grimdark]] because their entire theme [[Dark Eldar|revolves around Torture]]. Their sigil is a flayed man, their castle is [[Commorragh|a complex of eternal suffering called the Dreadfort]], and just look at their House motto... which shows how stupid the Starks were for allying with them.
*Roose Bolton, ''The 'Leech Lord'': A Lawful Evil sociopathic health nut who's called the Leech Lord because he gets leeched regularly, believing they get rid of bad blood. Second-most powerful Lord in the North with ambitions to depose the Starks. Since the Starks are unable to think like crafty people and are blinded by honour this doesn't prove too difficult. He gets his wish when he stabs Robb Stark in the back, at his uncle's wedding no less, and has anyone associated with Robb killed. He then makes over Winterfell in his bloody image and is currently trolling Stannis. Believes in the abolished practice of "[[Rape|Droit du seigneur]]" (a tradition that allowed a lord to have sex with subordinate women, whether they wanted to or not) and killed at least one man for trying to hide his wife from Roose (before fathering Ramsay with her via rape). Believed that he and his son could be as evil as they wanted as long as no one found out. Killed by Ramsey in the show, which Ramsay tried to cover with a lie despite the witnesses to his actions.
*Ramsay Snow/Bolton: The bastard son of Roose Bolton and a peasant woman he raped [[Grimdark|(under the hanging corpse of the woman's husband, for fuck's sake!)]]. One of the most fucked up people in all of the Seven Kingdoms (alongside the original Reek, the paedophile marauder Rorge and Euron), because he [[Dark Eldar|loves to torture and kill people openly for the lulz]], such as Theon Greyjoy, who he crippled, knocked his teeth out, castrated, and brainwashed into calling himself Reek; Reek was originally a peasant appointed to try and control a young Ramsay, but instead Ramsay warped him into a mentally unstable necrophiliac before killing Reek to fake his death, but Ramsay seemed to hold some twisted affection for him. He also sent Theon's severed appendage to Theon's dad in a cutesy box with a letter mockingly detailing his evilness. Will torture anyone who points out his illegitimate heritage though now he's legally recognized as a Bolton. Also has a pack of hunting dogs he names after women he hunts, rapes and kills. Married a fake Arya Stark and regularly mistreats her, including forced bestiality. Not a fun guy to be around. The only reason he's gotten away with it for so long (as pointed out by his father) is that no one is strong enough to stand up to him yet, but [[Powder Keg of Justice|when they are]] he's going to be killed. In the show, he killed his father with a knife, fed his stepmother and newborn half-brother to his dogs, then married Sansa Stark and deflowered her via rape. Ramsay was such a monster even Iwan Rheon, THE ACTOR WHO PLAYED THE GUY, hoped he'd die horribly. He got his wish: The consequences of Ramsay's actions catch up with him when Jon Snow shows up with an army capable of threatening him, and after surprise reinforcements from Littlefinger and his own fucked-up teamkilling, the Starks crush the Bolton army, forcing Ramsay to flee back to Winterfell. Despite this, the gate is smashed down, he is disarmed, beaten rather brutally and detained to await trial. Before the trial Sansa sets his dogs on him, which he had deliberately starved so they would eat Jon. Apparently they found him quite tasty.
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===House Martell===

''"Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Desert dwelling survivalists who pride themselves on having never been conquered by the Targaryen dynasty (though they later married in). Moorish Spaniards, kinda. [[C.S Goto|Their story arc was completely FUBAR in the show, as Elia and Oberyn's daughters kill Oberyn's brother and nephew for taking too long to avenge him before being captured and killed themselves by Euron and Cersei]].
*Doran Martell: Lord of Sunspear and of royal descent. Still mad at the Lannisters about that whole "murdered-my-sister-and-infant-niece thing". Playing the longest of long games with Varys while trying to keep the rest of his psychotic family members in check. Wheelchair-bound due to his gout. [[What|Killed off in the show by Ellaria as part of her plan to avenge Oberyn]].
*Arianne Martell: One of GRRM's characters who seems to exists solely to fuck everything up at the worst conceivable moment. Still hot as Dornish girls come. Exists only in the books, where she is currently helping her dad get ready to topple the Lannisters after fucking everything up with her own stupid plan to crown Myrcella, which is what got the poor girl maimed.
*Oberyn Martell ''The Viper of Dorne'': Doran Martell's brother, a bisexual swinger, former mercenary, and a drunkard. His girlfriend is a spectacularly beautiful bastard named Ellaria Sand and he has many illegitimate children, mostly daughters, collectively called "The Sand Snakes". Crippled the Tyrell heir in a fight, causing a rift between the two houses; despite this, he's actually best mates with the aforementioned heir, due to Willas Tyrell being straight up the nicest and most balanced man in the series and Oberyn being a somewhat decent person. Known for poisoning his weapons, as well as his battle-cry. Died from a mutual kill, with Gregor Clegane crushing his skull in rather graphically, avenging his sister Elia who Gregor had raped and murdered. Though it's probably a win for Oberyn, since he got Clegane with a horribly painful and slow-acting venom which stretched his death over days or even weeks, during which time he was ruthlessly experimented upon by a mad scientist.
*Quentyn Martell: Didn't realize he was in Dark Low Fantasy and thought he was in High Fantasy, poor bastard. A member of House Martell, sent to marry Daenerys to secure an alliance between the families since the original marriage plan to hook Arianne up with Viserys won't work with Viserys dead. Leaves Westeros and goes all the way to the city of Meereen to marry her, but he's too late, as she marries the Meereenese noble Hizdahr, and like Jorah he's not her type (Dany likes her bad boys). Tries to tame two of her dragons to impress her; the attempt goes wrong, he gets horribly burnt and gradually dies in agony from his wounds.
*The Sand Snakes: Oberyn's children. All daughters he had with various women throughout his travels (all consensual encounters, mind you). Mixed race and all hot with various skills including combat training and mastery of poisons. Working with Doran and Ellaria in the books. [[C.S Goto|Ruined in the show where they don't accomplish anything, are given atrocious dialogue (the "you need the bad pussy" line comes to mind), aren't great fighters]] and get killed by Euron's men, except for one who gets captured and poisoned by Cersei so an imprisoned Ellaria is forced to watch her die and decompose.</div></div>

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===House Frey===

''"We Stand Together"''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> House of weasels who are always grumpy and have a thing for overreacting to perceived slights. Wouldn't be that important except for the fact that they own the only bridge over a strategically important river, and regularly extort anyone attempting to cross it.

*Walder Frey: The ancient, terrible, ornery old man in charge of the Twins. Hates everyone for "looking down on him", and will readily betray an important ally for immediate gain, or if he feels he has been slighted in some minor way. His descendants are literally so numerous that no one except GRRM himself has been able to count them all, so we aren't even going to attempt it. Now dead in the show due to getting his throat slit by a vengeful Arya after she serves him two of his sons as meat pies. </div></div>

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'''Night's Watch'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The Night's Watch are an apolitical force in charge of manning The Wall, a giant ice wall that separates the relative tranquillity of the south from the Lovecraftian fucked-up-itude of the true north. They are chronically undermanned and undersupplied since nobody believes their stories of a barbarian army or the impending zombie apocalypse. Basically everybody else thinks they're in a game of [[Diplomacy]] and the Night's Watch are the only ones who realize they're actually in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]], though it's been so long since the last snow elf invasion that even they had forgotten about the undead hordes and focused too much on barbarians. They've allied with the Wildings and the North, but in the TV show, the Night's King used the undead dragon Viserion to burn a hole through The Wall.
*Jeor Mormont, ''The Old Bear'': 997th Lord Commander of the Night's Watch at the start of the series. Sees Jon Snow as something of a second son (since his own son Jorah was exiled for enslaving and refused to take the black for his crimes). Leads a ranging north of the Wall to investigate reports that the Others have returned. Ends up killed during a mutiny of survivors after the Others wiped out most of his force.
*Alliser Thorne: Prick of a knight who was favourite to be the next Watch Commander, but was passed over by Jon Snow. Unable to accept Jon Snow letting the Wildlings live on the other side of the wall in an alliance against the zombie hordes, he staged a coup against Jon. It failed because Jon was brought back to life. He is now dead in the show, having been executed for his treason by Jon Snow.
*Aemon Targaryen: Maester of the Citadel at Castle Black. Despite being the third born son of King Maekar I Targaryen, he declined the right to sit on the Iron Throne. One of the few people in the series to die of old age, at 102.
*Samwell Tarly, ''The Slayer'': Fat bookworm who was forced to take the black after his father Randyl threatened to murder him for being unmanly. Jon Snow's best friend among the Night's Watch, and knows everything because he "read it in a book". Despite being a self-professed coward, Sam became the first person in thousands of years to slay an Other with an obsidian dagger. George Martin himself said Sam's based on Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings. Since then, he has started improving his combat skills and balls (in more ways than one for the latter, finding his spine and losing his virginity). He abandons the Night's Watch to help fight the dead and tell Jon who he really is, and winds up becoming the new Grand Maester by the end of the show.
*Eddison Tollett, ''Dolorous Edd'': Probably the most badass member of the Night's Watch. Responds to situations by making sarcastic jokes about them, and known for being a grim motherfucker in a setting of grim motherfuckers. In the show he [[Awesome|became the new Lord Commander]] while Jon was dead, but gave the title back to Jon when he was brought back to life, and then Jon handed it right back because he needed to go sort out Ramsay Bolton. Dies in Season 8 at the Battle of Winterfell. </div></div>

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'''Wildlings'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Groups of nomadic hunter-gatherer tribes who live north of the Wall. Mostly First Men by blood, they have been heading toward the Wall for the past decade with the reputed reemergence of the Others. Nomadic, aggressive, and very much believing in "might makes right", they do not get along with anyone south of The Wall since they view them as "Kneeling weaklings". Basically every Celtic/Scandinavian/barbarian stereotype combined.
*Mance Rayder, ''The King Beyond The Wall'': A Wildling orphan who was taken in by the Night's Watch, he became their best Ranger before he deserted to join his people. He united the Wildlings and lead them south to escape the Others. Also a trained bard, but that was not enough to save him from death in the show while he's merely MIA in the books.
*Tormund Giantsbane: Claims to have a ten-inch penis, and invites his enemies to use their mouths if they want to clean it. Cool as fuck old guy who [[Furry|fucks mother-bears]] in his free time. Tough as nails motherfucker who preaches the merits of using one's cock for everything. He teams up with Jon Snow for the fight against the White Walkers, then fucks off back to the north once the Night King is dead, making him one of the most sensible people on the show. He and Jon go off to be bros at the end of the show.
*Ygritte: Wildling woman who Jon Snow ends up falling for and who returns his affections. Has red hair which is considered lucky among the Wildlings. This being ''A Song of Ice and Fire'', she ends up dying because her worldview is not compatible with Jon's.
*Craster: A sick bastard, formerly a member of the Night's Watch turned polygamous isolationist. By the way, [[Grimdark|his current wives are his many daughters and granddaughters who he fucks regularly to have more children. Girls grow up to become more wives, boys get sacrificed to the Others]]. This keeps the Others at bay - and is implied to be a way the Others reproduce themselves, and that sanctuary is why the Night's Watch barely tolerates him. Fortunately, he's been killed off in the story and his offspring go their separate ways.
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'''Commoners, Knights, and Petty Lords'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Basically any character not associated with any of the Great Houses.
* Varys, ''The Spider'': The eunuch spymaster of Westeros. You can't take a shit in the Seven Kingdoms without Varys finding out where, when, and how watery or dry it was. He does this through paid informants and his "little birds", a spy network of children who sneak through the castle's passageways and air flues to eavesdrop on everyone. Stabs everyone in the back because he's actually trying to bring the Targaryens back in order to strengthen the realm. Dead in the show, having decided to try and put Jon on the throne instead of Daenerys; Jon says no, Tyrion sells him out when he realizes Jon absolutely means it, and Dany has Drogon barbecue him.
* Petyr Baelish, ''Littlefinger'': The Master of Coin (the ASOIAF equivalent of a treasurer) and the closest person the Game of Thrones world has to a [[Daemon Prince]] of [[Tzeentch]], up to even declaring "[[Chaos]] is a Ladder". A dangerous manipulator who manages to trick and steal his way to positions of lordship and wealth because no one takes him seriously, and stabs all the Lannisters in the back when they become inconvenient. As a child, he wanted Catelyn Stark and was tricked into thinking she wanted him when her sister Lysa fucked him while he was drunk. Challenged Catelyn's betrothed Brandon Stark, Ned's older brother who was murdered by Aerys, for her hand in marriage and got his ass kicked because he was a small skinny boy and Brandon Stark was a big strapping man, making that his start of darkness. The guy responsible, directly or indirectly, for the War of the Five Kings because he was the mastermind behind poisoning Jon Arryn, the capture and execution of Ned Stark, feeding several half-truths to Catelyn to motivate her to arrest Tyrion, and eventually Joffrey's death by having Dontos and Olenna Tyrell carry out the plan to kill Joffrey and letting Tyrion take the fall; but no one in the story knows this, not even Varys. People think he can pull gold out of thin air, but he's really been buying debt while letting Robert Baratheon's extravagances and Joffrey and Cersei's dipshittery pull the country into a serious debt of its own. So he's pledged himself to [[Chaos]] and destroying Westeros all because he couldn't have Catelyn as his girlfriend, though he changed his focus to her daughter Sansa now, making him a paedophile. Hasn't yet got his comeuppance in the books, but is currently dead in the show after he was out-gambitted by Sansa and killed by Arya. According to GRRM, he's based on the title character from the Great Gatsby.
*Gregor Clegane, ''The Mountain'': A 7' 8" 400 pound mass of [[Khorne|testosterone, muscles, steroid overdose and murderous RAGE]], Gregor is Tywin Lannister's top muscle. Killed his own father and sister and permanently scarred his brother. Hobbies include rape, arson, murder, and random torture; he's also been married a few times but not now with the implication he kept killing his wives. He played an important part in destroying the Targaryens by killing a couple of Rhaegar's kids in rather brutal fashion, then raping and murdering his wife. Spends a few novels doing Tywin's dirty work before a Trial by Champion leads to him dying after being poisoned by Oberyn Martell. Qyburn later resurrected him as... something... called "Ser Robert Strong", and is now even stronger, less prone to psychotic rages, and is completely obedient. He's based on accounts of French knight Gilles de Rais and maybe also the scriptural giant Goliath. Tortures Cersei's nun jailer to death in a brutal and unspecified fashion kills Qyburn during the Siege of King's Landing and then nearly kills his little brother, only for Sandor to tackle him through a collapsing wall and into a gigantic inferno that claims both.
* Sandor Clegane, ''The Hound'': Younger brother to Gregor Clegane, called the Hound because of his hound-face helm, his family's heraldry, and being the king's hired muscle without being a knight. He hates knights due to the hypocrisy of being a professional "noble warrior" but mostly since his monstrous brother is a knight, showing it's not so much of a noble promotion. Terrified of fire after Gregor put his head against a brazier for playing with one of Gregor's old toys when they were children, burning half his face, but he's still the second-strongest person in Westeros. A brutal anti-hero with a soft spot for Sansa, but a better person than his brother. After falling sick from Biter's nasty teeth, he ends up being a silent monk burying people in the Silent Isles. In the show, he joins the Brotherhood without Banners and goes north to help fuck up the White Walkers. As of Season 8, he's survived the Battle of Winterfell and is riding south with Arya to put the boots to Gregor. Dies killing his now undead brother in a pretty epic fight amidst the crumbling ruins of the Red Keep.
*Grand Maester Pycelle: A shrewd, dangerous man putting on a "harmless old man act" and a high ranking scholar from the science/medical guild the Maesters. The longest-serving member of the King's advisory staff, and is actually Tywin Lannister's biggest lackey. He convinced the Mad King to let Tywin in as Baratheon's armies were marching on the capital, where Tywin proceeded to sack the city and claim it for Robert. Gets his head bashed in by Varys in the books and murdered by Qyburn in the show.
* Qyburn: Formerly a maester, who was kicked out of the order for unethical experiments on the living (taking people and performing vivisections to be precise). Introduced as a part of a mercenary company serving Roose Bolton, which should be a red flag. He moves up in the world when he's sent to escort Brienne and Jaime back to King's Landing and ends with Cersei employing him to replace Pycelle as "science advisor" and eventually Varys's Spymaster. Serves Cersei loyally as long as she lets him indulge his sick experiments, serving as a black magic variety of the court mage. He has resurrected Gregor Clegane as... something. [[Fabius Bile]] if he traded his robot limbs, eugenics and power armour for necromancy. He overestimated his hold on Gregor and got his head caved in for it as of the second-to-last episode of the show.
*Barristan Selmy, ''The Bold'': Knight of the Kingsguard. Which Kingsguard? Take your pick. He's served pretty much every king since Aerys and understandably feels pretty bad about it. Another sad old man who pretty much just wants to die until he decides to go pledge his services to Daenerys. Even in his old age, he is considered one of the most dangerous men in Westeros. [[Fail|Dead in the show]] (to be fair they gave him a huge last stand), but [[Awesome|alive]] and [[Roboute Guilliman|appointed himself Daenerys' steward in her absence to try and fix Meereen's situation in the books]].
*Melisandre, ''The Red Witch'': A priestess of R'hllor, the god of fire. Proclaimed Stannis to be the messiah-king and is doing everything in her power to make sure he wins (considerable given that she can scry, make shadow baby assassins and set things on fire with her mind). She'd be pretty bro-tier if her god wasn't so vicious. As it stands she's kind of in the grey (in the books, the show seems to zig-zag on her being evil 'cos the showrunners seem to hate religion). Most of the people she set on fire deserved it, and she hasn't ''succeeded'' in killing any babies yet. Show version now dead from suicide via rapid ageing after ensuring the Living defeat the Dead.
*Jorah Mormont: A knight and son of Jeor Mormont, exiled for trying to sell poachers into slavery and eventually joining the exiles of House Targaryen. He is offered a pardon in exchange for spying on the Targaryens but ultimately decides to stay with them after falling in love with Daenerys. Unfortunately, he gets friend-zoned hard. Despite saving her life from an assassin while she was pregnant, she still votes him off the Khalassar after learning he was a spy. He still loves her and follows her in secret, though. In the show, he goes on a quest to prove himself to her and contracts the dangerous disease Greyscale (it's like the unholy lovechild of smallpox and leprosy), but he gets cured and is now back at her side. He dies protecting her at the Battle of Winterfell.
*Davos Seaworth, ''The Onion Knight'': A former smuggler and bannerman to House Baratheon. During Roberts Rebellion he ran a blockade with a cargo of contraband onions to a castle Stannis Baratheon was besieged in. In exchange for the food he had, Stannis knighted Davos, but Stannis's law-worshipping mindset compelled him to remove four digits from his left hand. Despite this, Davos has served Stannis with unquestioning loyalty, because Stannis knighting him gave his children a future. The fact that Stannis's war for the throne has ended up killing several of his sons hasn't dented his loyalty at all. Doesn't like Melisandre because he sees her as a user and her beliefs as brutal. He's a devout follower of the Faith of the Seven in the books and the first season of the show [[C.S Goto|but is clumsily retconned into an anti-religious atheist in later show seasons]]. In the show, he's now pledged to DA NORF and is basically Jon's Hand of the King, except he doesn't get a fancy pin. He survives the Battle of Winterfell and the Second Sack of King's Landing and becomes Master of Ships in the final episode of the show.
*Shae: A former camp follower and Tyrion Lannister's squeeze for most of the story. Fled from an abusive family and became a camp follower to earn a living. Seems to fall in love with Tyrion, but it turns out she's a gold-digging bitch. When Tyrion doesn't marry Shae she sells him out to Cersei for a better offer, then fucks Tywin when she realizes Cersei won't keep her promise. Tyrion found her in his father's bed and strangled her to death with a necklace for betraying him. The discovery of Shae's corpse in Tywin's bed - posthumously outing him as a whoremonger - upsets Cersei to the point she unpersons Shae.
*Bronn: A mercenary who acts as Tyrion's enforcer and personal killer until Cersei outbids him and he settles down with a little wife and title. Routinely kills knights by exploiting how arrogant and stupid they are even after becoming one himself. Only in it for the money, which he'll happily tell you himself. The only character other than Littlefinger to end every book in a better position than he started it. In the show, he makes the very sensible decision to sit out the fighting and wait for his promised castle (Riverrun if Cersei wins, Highgarden if Daenerys wins). He gets Highgarden and is named Lord Paramount of the Reach and Master of Coin in the final episode.
* Brienne of Tarth, ''The Beauty'': Surprisingly badass lady knight wannabe (since no women can be knighted), legendarily unattractive but still pretty idealistic despite the shit she gets for her looks. Fate frequently gives her the shit end of the stick, because no matter how hard she tries to finish her quests, she ends up failing or stuff happens that makes it impossible. Secretly crushes on Renly and unaware he's gay. After he dies, Brienne switches her loyalty to Catelyn and helps her bring Jaime to King's Landing as Tyrion promised Sansa's return in exchange for Jaime. She later developed a crush on Jaime. Things don't go well because Jaime lost his hand and the Red Wedding happened. Next, Jaime sends her out to find and keep Sansa safe to make good on Tyrion's promise, since he isn't the complete dick everyone thinks he is. Brienne ends up getting captured by Cat, now known as Lady Stoneheart and an insane undead, who was going to hang Brienne for working with Jaime. Brienne was spared at the last moment to capture/manipulate Jaime. In the show, she's now sworn to House Stark and gets knighted by Jaime just before the Battle of Winterfell and then she and Jaime hook up afterwards, only for him to take off and break her heart. She is now Lady Commander of the Kingsguard as of the final episode.
* Lyanna Mormont: A badass ten-year-old girl who inherits Bear Island after her mother and older sister die horribly in the Riverlands - at least if we are going by the show; in the book, her mother is still alive somewhere in the Neck and her older sister Alysanne is the de-facto head of House Mormont. Her activities include pimp-slapping bitches, leading men twice as old as her, and being completely loyal to the Starks despite all their misfortunes. [[Awesome|"Bear Island knows no king but the King in the North, whose name is STARK."]] She dies killing an undead giant at the Battle of Winterfell, which is pretty badass.
* Wyman Manderly, ''Lord Too-Fat-To-Sit-A-Horse'': The Lord of White Harbour and one of the few Northerners who worship the Seven. Fervently loyal to House Stark, he pays lip-service to the Iron Throne long enough for his eldest son to return home, all to mask a plan to restore the Starks to power, mostly by destabilising the Frey-Bolton alliance, building a navy, marshalling the forces of the lands east of the White Knife river, "losing" Freys in the wilderness and sending Lord Davos Seaworth to rescue Rickon Stark from Skagos. His favourite food is lamprey, although he has also developed a taste for Frey Pie. Also a remarkably graceful dancer, and can survive taking a knife to the throat.
** Wylla Manderly: Granddaughter to the above. Another badass little girl, her activities include openly declaring undying loyalty to House Stark and dying her hair green. She and Lyanna Mormont would probably be best friends if they met. [[Awesome|"The city is built upon the land [the Starks] gave us. In return, we swore that we should always be their men. Stark men!"]]
* Jon Umber, ''The Greatjon'': At first he seems to be your stereotypical, boisterous Northern Lord. However, he becomes one of Robb's most loyal supporters, being first to declare him as 'King in the North' after Ned's execution. Had his moment of awesome [[Awesome|when he killed and wounded four Freys at the Red Wedding, all the while being drunk and needing eight additional men to take him down.]]
* Beric Dondarrion, ''The Lightning Lord'': Minor lord who agreed to head an expedition to take out Gregor Clegane. This being Game of Thrones, however, his party is ambushed by the Mountain and is beaten rather badly, and he loses his life in the process. Thanks to his drunken Red Priest friend, however, he manages to come back not once, but eight times, and each time he comes back, he becomes more powerful, though at the cost of his memory. He now heads an outlaw faction of grimdark Robin Hood types called "The Brotherhood Without Banners", who are dedicated to punishing those who abuse and mistreat the smallfolk. Ironically, he's one of the few book characters to have died (permanently) in the books but remain alive in the show, except now he's dead for real as of the Battle of Winterfell.
* Thoros of Myr: Aforementioned drunken priest who is dedicated to R'hllor, though at first he doesn't really give a rat's ass about the Red God, as he prefers to party it up with wine and women, but after he 'accidentally' resurrects Beric, he becomes quite serious about his religion and vows to curb his excesses in drinking. Dies on a mission beyond the Wall to capture a wight (show-version).
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'''The Free Cities'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Nine city-states to the West of Westeros, for the most part, the old colonies of the Valaryian Freehold. Mostly they are ruled by Merchant Princes. They look down on the Westerosi for being a bunch of up jumped backwards war-mongering morons who are only a few silverware sets and maesters away from absolute barbarism. In turn, the Westerosi look down on the Free Cities as being money-grubbing effete cowards ruled by cheesemongers who use bribery, tall walls and dirty tricks to get ahead in the world.

* Illyrio Mopatis: A rich fat bastard and a Magister of Pentos. Old buddies with Varys and a bigtime schemer.
* [[Officio Assassinorum|The Faceless Men]]: A cult of shape-shifting assassins who worship The Many-Faced God of death based in the free city of Braavos that give up personal identity. They claim descent from escaped Valyrian slaves who considered death to be a better fate than perpetual slavery. Their mission hence became being servants of the Many-Faced God of Death. You can hire them to off your rivals, but they request a steep and equivalent price. Their motto is "Valar Morghulis": All Men Must Die.
* Xaro Xhoan Daxos: One of the thirteen leaders of the city of Qarth. A flamboyant, languid, bald rich man who looks after Daenerys while she stays in Qarth and gives her many gifts. He wants her dragons as much as anyone else and even tries to marry her despite his homosexual tendencies. He stops wanting the dragons later in the book series after seeing [[RIP AND TEAR|their work in Astapor]], and no longer wants her around as her anti-slavery stance is hampering his wealth, so he offers Daenerys ships to leave the area and declares war on her when she refuses. In the show, he's heterosexual, helps steal her dragons, fucks one of her handmaidens and gets locked in a vault for conspiring to have her killed. He's also black and fat in the show when he's white and lanky in the books, being Qartheen and all.
* Syrio Forel: The former First Sword of Braavos (aka the ruler's personal bodyguard) and later Arya's mentor in King's Landing. He teaches her the way of Braavosi fencing, called "Water Dancing", and sacrifices himself to save her from Lannister thugs, taking down at least six of them with a wooden sword. May have inadvertently set her on the path of becoming a badass assassin by telling her of his belief in the God of Death.

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'''The Dothraki'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Horse people who live in a country of endless grass plains referred to by others as the Dothraki sea. They only have one city, called Vaes Dothrak, which is less of a city and more of a place they all meet when important things have to be discussed. Have traits borrowed from several cultures, including Mongols and Native Americans, all filtered through European misconceptions of those cultures of course, such as the Dothraki's antipathy for heavy armour, despite the fact that the Mongols were very heavily armoured and also excelled as infantry, see the Battle of Leignitz. They fear the ocean because of its size and the fact that horses won't drink from it, calling it the "poison water".

* Khal Drogo: An Expy of <s>Genghis Khan</s> Yesukhei Baatyr (his son would have been the equivalent to Chinggis Khaan). Leads the largest Khalassar among the Dothraki. Despite being a barbarian warlord, Drogo is surprisingly intelligent and treats Daenerys well. After an assassin tries to kill her he promises to conquer Westeros for her and their unborn son and immediately starts raiding towns for slaves and ships. At one town he gets cut in a leadership challenge and Daenerys gets a captive wise woman to heal him. However, the woman hates him because his tribe destroyed her hometown, raped/slaughtered or enslaved her friends and raped her three times so she curses him to become catatonic (along with killing his unborn son), leading a devastated Daenerys to perform an arguable mercy kill by smothering him with a pillow. After she burns herself, her stillborn child and the wise woman on his funeral pyre, Daenerys survives and it brings her dragons to life. GRRM named Drogo after [[The Lord of the Rings|Frodo's father]].
* Daenerys' handmaidens.
** Doreah: Daenerys' handmaiden and a wedding gift from Illyrio. A woman from Lysene brought by her brother to teach her how to pleasure a man. In the book she dies of fever and starvation crossing a desert, in the TV show, she betrays Daenerys for [[Salamanders|Xaro's BBC]] and gets locked in a vault to starve to death.
** Irri: Daenerys' handmaiden who teaches Daenerys how to ride a horse. [[PROMOTIONS|Also pleasures Daenerys twice after catching her masturbating once]], yet this canonical girl-on-girl action was left out of the show. The character was even killed off there when she survived in the books, but in this case, it was because her actress' visa had expired rather than [[C.S. Goto|author railroading]].
** Jhiqui: Daenerys' handmaiden who teaches her the Dothraki language and squabbles with Irri over wanting one of Daenerys' bodyguards when he becomes a badass. Also dies in the TV show while staying alive so far in the books.

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'''Slavers Bay'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">A civilization of [[Stupid Evil]] slavers. The remains of a previous civilization that was once the big powerful empire thanks to having phalanxes of obedient, pain-resistant soldiers which Valyria conquered a long while ago because phalanxes don't do too well against motherfucking dragons. They are ruled by wealthy slave mongers who buy slaves, train them up to do specific things and generally are a bunch of stuck up, decadent, puppy-eating (literally) assholes. Basically a civilization so repugnant even most hippies will be cheering when Dany decides to conquer them.

* The Unsullied: Eunuch phalanx fighting slave soldiers trained the Spartan way to produce totally obedient infantry that never break ranks. They also don't feel pain due to drinking a special drink daily, and each one has to take a new name from the name box each day so they can't develop a sense of identity. At least until Dany "bought" the lot of them, had them sack the city which trained them, and freed them.
* Grey Worm: The Unsullied Commander and a no-nonsense badass. When given a chance to take a new name he keeps his slave name because it's the name he had when freed so he considers it lucky. He is completely loyal to Daenerys, considering her his saviour, and in the show, he falls in love with fellow freed-woman, Missandei. This being ASOIAF, however, he can only watch helplessly as his lover is beheaded in front of him by the Mountain. This drives him into a rage, and he eagerly takes part in the sacking of King's Landing in revenge for her death. After the war is over and both Daenerys and Cersei are dead, he takes the Unsullied forces to Naath, in order to fulfil his promise to Missandei that he'd protect her homeland.
* Strong Belwas: A fat but skilled eunuch gladiator. Loves liver and onions and referring to himself in the third person. Travelling companion/guide of Ser Barristan. Has an awesome scene where he beats the champion of Meereen then mocks the Meereenese by taking a shit in their direction and wiping his ass on their dead champion's cloak. Also saves Daenerys from eating poisoned sweets. [[FAIL|Left out of the show]].
* Daario Naharis: A Tyroshi mercenary captain who dyes his hair blue. Betrays his fellow commanders for Daenerys because he loves her as a queen. Fortunately for him, Daenerys loves him back and they pursue a romance for a time, though she doesn't marry him as she's still otherwise smart enough to know she has to save herself for a political marriage. Goes to Yunkai as a hostage in the war on Meereen. Also potentially a shapeshifter, if the show is to be believed.
*Missandei: A young female slave with a remarkable talent for linguistics and one of the more empathetic people in this dark world, Missandei is freed by Daenerys during her campaign to liberate Slaver's Bay, eventually becoming one of her closest confidants and advisers. While a child in the books, in the show Missandei is a grown woman, falls in love with the Unsullied leader Grey Worm, but later is captured by Cersei and beheaded by the zombified Mountain in front of all her friends, but not before telling her friends to burn the Lannisters to ashes.

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'''The Others'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">A mysterious race from beyond the Wall, known to [[newfag|HBO fans]] as "the White Walkers". Can be described as ice demons/snow elves with necromancy. Eight thousand years ago, they invaded Westeros during a decades-long winter known as "the Long Night". With an army of undead warriors, they proceeded to fuck Westeros up every which way to [[Sunday]] before the locals finally drove them out, established the Night's Watch, and built the Wall to keep them out. Like all fantasy aspects of ASOIAF, they are very cliched. In the TV series, it's revealed that they were created from human captives by "The Children", the pseudo-[[Elf]] fair folk race that lived in Westeros before humanity arrived, as an attempt to create a super-weapon. The idea was since humanity bred faster than the Children could keep up with, they would create icy [[lich]]-creatures that could create [[undead]] soldiers, and these would then wipe out all human life. Instead, it went disastrously wrong because it turned out that the Children actually couldn't control what they'd created, so the Others [[Ork|just want to exterminate '''all''' life.]]
* Night's King: A long time ago, when the Night's Watch was just barely getting set up, its Lord Commander, the thirteenth in line, decided to climb over the Wall and explore some. While in the woods to the north of the Wall, he found a beautiful [[Monstergirls|Other female]]. He fell in love with her, had [[/d/|sex with her on top of the Wall]], which somehow changed him into an albino version of [[Star Wars|Darth Maul]], and set himself up as King of the Wall, making everyone in the Watch his slaves and sacrificial fodder. Naturally, this didn't sit too well with the Starks and the Wildlings, and so they banded together to free the Watch and kick his ass, which they managed to do successfully. Now everyone thinks him as dead or a myth. In the HBO version of the story, this whole backstory is basically dropped; he was the very first White Walker ever created by the Children, and he decided to get back at them by wiping out all life. Also, whilst he was apparently beaten in the ancient past and sealed away behind the Wall, he's still "alive" and well, [[Daemonculaba|turning infant human boys into new White Walkers]]. Also, he can apparently raise up entire legions of undead, just by raising his arms and looking completely smug about it; unlike regular Others, who can just raise up maybe a village at most. Given that he's the resident [[BBEG|Dark Lord]] of the series, it makes sense that he can take down a dragon with seemingly little effort (a simple throw of his spear), and resurrect it to be his personal steed a la Arthas. Used it to blow a hole in the Wall and begin [[The End Times]] for Westeros. Now dead thanks to Arya's magic ninja haxx letting her kill the BBEG and his entire race and army of zombies in one blow.
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'''Gods and their followers'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> The world of ASOIAF has various religions and faiths abound, just like in real life. Similarly, they range between fucking awesome to utterly useless.

*[[Ecclesiarchy|The Faith of the Seven]]: The Catholic Church stand-in, which gets both sympathetic (books only) and unsympathetic (books and show) characters associated with it. Holds an anti-slavery stance. The god/s are considered seven aspects of one deity with three male aspects (The Smith, the Father, the Warrior), three female aspects (The Maiden, the Mother, the Crone) and an asexual one representing Death. The places of worship are called Septs, and their system includes Septons, nun-equivalents called Septas and a Pope equivalent called a High Septon. The High Septons all give up their names when they become one to confuse future historians.
** High Septon 1: A fat, greedy man who used the position for personal gain. He ended up being [[Grimdark|torn apart in a riot]], because the people resented that he had enough food to stay fat while they were starving.
** High Septon 2: Successor of High Septon 1. Chosen by Tyrion so the Faith would be loyal to the Lannisters. Only ''slightly'' corrupt, being a pro-Lannister yes-man. Murdered on Cersei's order in the book, while in the show he's retconned into a whoremonger who gets deposed by the Sparrows (see below).
** High Septon 3/The High Sparrow: Successor of High Septon 2. After the second High Septon died, the smallfolk burst into the meeting to pick a successor and ordered their chosen candidate to be put in charge when his original successor was caught whoremongering. He'd been a wandering preacher beforehand, and his feet were dark and gnarled from lots of walking. When he reaches the position he starts [[gets shit done|getting things done]]. Since he was appointed by a smallfolk religious movement called Sparrows, he's given the moniker "The High Sparrow". The nobility underestimates him, either due to having other matters or disregard for religious people, but he turns out to be smart, well-meaning and somewhat ruthless. Under the High Sparrow, he and the other clergymen sell their fancy clothes and decorations [[Noblebright|replacing them with simple wool tunics, using the money to buy food and clothes for the poor in King's Landing]]. He also has their Knights-Templar-equivalent reformed to [[Inquisition|protect the faithful and help them root out]] [[heresy]] and sin. He also outwits Cersei and has her arrested and tried for all her evil deeds. While Cersei's scheming does lead to Margaery's arrest, Cersei confesses to some crimes while concealing others, leading to Cersei taking a nude walk of penance in front of the entire city. After this, he somewhat reined in the nobles' politicking to actually look after the commoners and the Faith, though this does make some enemies. In the show, he and the Sparrows are [[C.S Goto|retconned]] from assorted smallfolk and clergymen tired of the nobles' lawlessness and power plays into one-dimensional stereotypes and thinly-veiled jabs at the Catholic Church [[Imperial Truth|in a shoe-horned anti-religion message]]. While they do arrest Cersei and Margaery like in the books, during the trial most of the Faith, including the High Sparrow himself, get blown to kingdom come when Cersei has her agents ignite a massive amount of magical napalm underneath the Great Sept.
* [[Old Ones|Old Gods]]: Native American/Japanese Kame/Druid/nature spirits that reside in places called Godswoods. Their powers are limited to the North, where the last remaining Godswoods remain, but they can grant gifted individuals awesome psychic powers like Warging (mind-controlling animals) and Greensight (Time Travel). For some reason, Martin claims they're based off the Norse Gods. Probably has to do with the way the Vikings made sacrifices to their gods, by hanging them in Ash trees, a symbol for the World Tree Yggdrasil. The Weirwood trees are sacred to the followers of the Old Gods in a similar way. Mostly worship of them is quiet and informal.
* R'hllor: The God of Fire and Light, and like the Old Gods, actually shows evidence for existing. [[/tg/ gets shit done|He gets shit done]] such as fire magic and Resurrection. Has a nasty habit for burning heretics, though. GRRM said this faith is roughly based (read: poorly modelled after) upon Zoroastrianism and Gnosticism. His nemesis is The Great Other: the god of cold and darkness, the leader of the Others, and prophesied to be defeated by the chosen one, or messianic figure: [[Star Child|Azor Ahai/The Prince That Was Promised]], a figure who is the prophesied warrior that will fight with the Great Other/Night's King during the Apocalypse. Interestingly enough, the prophecy may not refer to a single person, but three (Jon, Tyrion/Bran, and Daenerys). Supposedly, one of these three will also receive an [[Emperor's Sword|awesome flaming sword called "Lightbringer"]].
* Him of Many Faces: The god of the Dead of the religion whose followers are the [[Officio Assassinorum|Faceless Men]]. According to his cult of assassins, whom Arya joins, every other god is him in a different form and he requires his assassins to utterly forget their past identities in service to him. Has a heyday during the Battle of King's Landing and the Red Wedding. His followers are granted shapeshifting abilities and powers to be the ultimate assassins.
* Drowned God: Cthulhu combined with Odin. Runs an underwater Valhalla were all Ironborn go whey they either if they drowned at sea, the men die a manly death or the women die in childbirth.

</div></div>

==The appeal of A Song of Ice And Fire==
Exactly what catches the eyes of [[Skub|a given fan/critic/lout who complains about how bad it is anytime the show is mentioned within earshot]] to ASOIAF and its TV adaptation varies from individual to individual. Still, there's a couple of major draws.

'''The Worldbuilding:''' The main reason why this series gets compared to [[The Lord of the Rings]], ASOIAF is literally ''drowning'' under the weight of its worldbuilding, being crammed as full of facts about fictitious regions, histories, cultures, dynasties and races as GRRM can fit it. Your mileage will vary on how ''good'' that info is, but there's plenty of info in it.

'''Mainstream [[Dark Fantasy]]:''' Dark Fantasy is not exactly a mainstream niche. ASOIAF stands out by deliberately trying to market itself to the mainstream, despite embracing an abundance of dark fantasy tropes; gratuitous violence, sexuality and sexual violence, moral ambiguity, political intrigue, and a willingness to suddenly kill off any character, even the most likeable or heroic of them.

'''[[Low Fantasy]]:''' On the surface, ASOIAF is an old-school Low Fantasy setting, being a medieval-tech world with the story openly focused on the mundane lives of people struggling for political power and though supernatural elements do exist, they tend to be used sparingly.

'''[[High Fantasy]]:''' But if you scratch the surface, ASOIAF is also a High Fantasy setting, which is always the more marketable of the two, with the big backstory about how the world is facing impending doom from an army of wintery [[fey]] and their [[undead]] minions. There are also non-evil higher powers working against them, but they get swept under the rug in the show. Also, [[dragon]]s. As the more marketable genre, it's also inevitably the more skubby one, for whatever that's worth.

'''[[Magical Realm|Gratuitous Sexuality]]:''' More a thing for the TV show than the book; the frequent scenes of nudity and sex in the early seasons were a ''big'' selling point for many people (the casting of people from the sex industry for some of these scenes also helped).

'''Not much in terms of generic fantasy tropes:''' Hate how almost every fantasy just has to have things popularized by Tolkien such as elves, dwarves, orcs and all that stuff? You're in luck because ASOIAF features none of them. It does have [[dragon]]s, [[Medieval Stasis]] and [[undead]] though so if you hate them too, well...

==Oh Yeah, About The TV Show==
[[image:KnightsWhoSayFuck.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Yeah, pretty much.]]
After the first three books became hits, many Hollywood producers and directors had come to the sadistic neckbeard, asking him about making a movie adaptation. At first, he was reluctant, at best, due to the fact that a whole lot of his content would've been cut out to be fit into a movie trilogy (see the Lord of the Rings live-action films). Then, a couple of dudes, David Benioff and D.B/Daniel Brett Weiss (AKA D&D, or more accurately as of the final season, Dumb & Dumber), decided to contact him and asked him at a local restaurant about turning ASOIAF into a Television show produced by HBO, the top-rated soft-core porno channel. The story goes that George, before giving them his consent, asks them a very specific question (Who is Jon Snow's mother?). Satisfied with the response they gave, he gave them permission to start work on the show, which would be titled after the first book, ''Game of Thrones''. They would later go on to prove that this is not a good way of choosing who should adapt your work.

The television show casts several well-known performers, such as Sean Bean as Eddard, Peter Dinklage as Tyrion, Lena Headey as Cersei, and Charles Dance as Tywin. They have also cast some comparatively less well-known actors and even ones new to cinema, such as Sophie Turner (Sansa), Maisie Williams (Arya), Kit Harington (Jon), Iwan Rheon (Ramsay), Alfie Allen (Theon), and Richard Madden (Robb).

'''TL;DR'''

[[GM|Producers Dumb&Dumber-style change characters and railroad the plot at a whim,]] [[/d/M|the tits and ultraviolence spigot is opened even wider than the books,]] and most scenes are made for the actors to show off their skills at making their signature angry/murder/brooding/etc. faces.

Thus, book snobs seem to think that every episode post-season 3 is nothing more than Emmy-bait. Regardless of the fact Kit Harington still [[Fail|doesn't have an Emmy]], there's a valid contention in that regard, with the number of liberties taken overshadowing the initial appeal.

The final season was eventually revealed to be such a train wreck because Dumb & Dumber did not want to work on the series anymore and had let the success with the earlier seasons go to their heads. In their arrogance, instead of handing the reins to someone else, they decided to plan out their own ending and use it as an audition to Disney so they could write for Star Wars. By then, they'd run out of books to adapt, there was no superior writing for them to leech off of and there was no one to gainsay them in their echo chamber of a writer's room (even George himself was cut out). The result was absolutely shit writing that caused a glorious breakage in the [[skub]] dam that left [[Butthurt|many a fan's anus weeping]] (provided they weren't early seasons fans, book series fans, or any of the other assorted onlookers [[Lulz|taking part in the mightiest of keks]]) and, if anything proved <s>George's </s> Ramsay's quote at the beginning of the article true. Goddamn Dumb & Dumber, could you talentless faggots do any worse if you tried? Luckily, comeuppance came after them and Disney, having some sense, told them to fuck off with their Star Wars ideas after the backlash towards the final season.

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="width:100%">
'''What about the final season?'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">
Long story short, the Army of the Dead is destroyed in an epic battle, where the ancient and super-powerful BBEG gets killed by some sleight-of-hand. Meanwhile, Daenerys has spent the last two seasons being stripped of her plot armour; she's lost most of her supporters - including one of her dragons - and has been forced to confront the fact that nobody in Westeros wants her around. Especially not the Northerners, where Sansa is basically playing the "Northern Independence Now!" movement to try and get her own bum in a throne after seven seasons of being a plaything for people with actual power. The kicker is she's fallen in love with Jon Snow, but he learns he's actually her nephew - and the fruit of a legitimate marriage between her elder brother Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark that was handled in secret. This discovery not only caused him to back away from her (because he's got Northerner values, so fucking his aunt squicks him out... not that it stopped him from doing it at least once), but also makes him a threat to her political standing, which is something Varys makes plans to exploit. When Tyrion found out Jon wouldn't back down, he told Danerys about it, for which she had Drogon burn Varys to ash. When she forces the survivors of the final battle to march on King's Landing, another of her dragons ends up dead and her only remaining friend captured and executed by Cersei. So she attacks King's Landing... and then, when her followers manoeuvre around her to get the city to surrender rather than die to the last, she snaps and burns most of the city to ashes. She then decides to continue ramming her head against the proverbial wall and embraces her personal narrative of herself as a divinely chosen hero-queen meant to "free" the world by conquering everybody, having lost interesting in just ruling Westeros around the same time she lost her fucking mind. Such is her insanity that Jon Snow ends up sticking a dagger in her heart rather than let her kill Sansa and Arya, who he knows will resist her.

Jon proceeds to somehow not get killed by her last surviving dragon who pretty much knows Jon killed his momma because plot reasons, and it destroys the Iron Throne ([[What|by accident, according to the showrunners]]) while chucking a tantrum over Dany's death before grabbing her body and flying off to parts unknown. This leaves everybody stuck trying to figure out what to do, [[The Empire (Warhammer Fantasy)|but ultimately they decide to replace a dynastic monarchy with an elective one]], and make Bran the new king because, hey, he's the 3-Eyed Raven and has the seer powers to see all of space and time, so he's the least worst option they have (he's also trying to find and take control of the aforementioned dragon). The North secedes from the Seven Kingdoms, but nobody gives a damn, and Jon Snow is formally banished to the Wall - where instead he wanders off into the wilderness with the surviving Wildlings, with the land showing signs of exiting its endless winter. [[The Lord of the Rings|Arya runs off to sail to the West,]] and Sansa is crowned Queen in the North.

</div></div>

==GRRM and [[Your Dudes]]==
Want to make your own ASoIF setting for a role-playing game? Well, readers have enough room to fantasize about their own minor noble House (or kingdom during the Age of the Hundred Kingdoms).

A good example of what you could do is the House from the old [[/v/|"Telltale Game of Thrones"]], House Forrester. Their relationship to the canon is as follows:

House Forrester (lords of someplace in the Wolfswood) '''-> is sworn to ->''' House Glover (overall lords of the entire Wolfswood) '''-> is sworn to ->''' House Stark (rulers of the North).

There's also an actual tie-in tabletop RPG now, which uses its own system and looks kind of like [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]] with a heavy helping of resource-management strategy feel.
Players are assuming the role of a minor House to guide to glory, or, more accurately given the setting we're in, NOT to ruin utterly in a season or two, which would still be more than many A-list players mustered in canon. Each PC has a specific position within said House, and only the role of official Head is mandatory; the rest could be wife/children/brothers and sisters/all other kinds of siblings, bastards (with rules for obtaining the legitimate recognition), maesters, sworn/subservient knights, or most of anybody else. This naturally opens up near-infinite possibilities for families screwed up seven ways to high heavens, which would make Lannister's brand of infighting-slash-inbreeding look as sane as the High Septon.

The setting is also ill-suited for "adventures in Westeros" style of gaming for two reasons:
#In the grim darkness of low fantasy, a roaming nobody with no banner to talk about, no House allegiance, no nothing isn't generally treated to a Tavern With Quest Givers, but rather more to a Tavern Where You Are Shanked For Your Sword And Boots And Dumped At The Nearest Forest. Heck, even the big wheelers and dealers are routinely seen invited to the latter when they are slow to properly introduce themselves.
#Working on your initially-puny House will quite realistically involve thy neighbours first and foremost, then liege lords from the higher House yours is sworn to, and on occasion shopping around for an advantageous marriage - there simply ain't gonna be that much spare time to "travel to see places". Both of these are also why tourism wasn't a very popular pastime in medieval Europe and why those who were "living on the road" usually enjoyed the lowest social standing.

A note to aspiring Lords: do NOT, under any circumstances, allow your "combat-optimized" siblings an unsupervised minute in a social setting. Game's "social combat" system is a thing more brutal than the physical one, and it takes a socially-optimized character all of a few minutes to mindfuck one who is not (read: everyone but dedicated diplomats and Heads of the Houses, and not every one of the latter, to boot, as illustrated by several amazing boneheads in canon) into believing pretty much anything short of Grumpkins and Snarks. Stupid NPCs or a stupid GM will make said mindfuck obvious, allowing you to "mindfuck 'em back" without abuse of OOC info; cunning ones will not.

On a side-note; GRRM is said to take a dim view of fanfiction, saying it kills creative ability. This is kind of a double-edged statement, since a lot of George's characters here are either rehashes of his characters from previous works, references to other fictional characters (like Littlefinger and Samwell being based on Jay Gatsby and [[The Lord of the Rings|Samwise Gamgee]]), walking tropes (such as Ned Stark and Robb Stark being the "[[TVTropes|Honor Before ]] [[Lawful Stupid|Reason]]" characters) or historical references (such House Lannister ripping off House Lancaster and House Tyrell being totally-not-House-Tudor - to the point that Margaery Tyrell is played by Natalie Dormer from "The Tudors" TV show). While this makes everything he wrote just another...fanfiction, and his disapproval hypocritical. Still, given the "creative" output of the average neckbeard, he does have a point. Ironically he sold the rights to make a TV series of the books to HBO, who then went on to make a glorified fanfic.

==Games==
[[image:AGot-2nd-ed-cardfan.png|thumb|250px]]
Like any fantasy author who finds themselves unexpectedly in the warm embrace of commercial success Martin quickly licensed the shit out of his setting, spawning everything from resin miniatures to replica great swords. While most of this is worthless junk to foist on [[Neckbeard|obsessive fanboys]] /tg/ has agreed that a few of the games are made of win. The first two are a collectable [[CCG|card game]] put out in 2002 by [[Fantasy Flight Games]] and a [[risk]]-esque board game that followed shortly after in 2003. One of [[White Wolf]]'s subsidiaries also put out a d20 RPG in 2005 but it quickly tanked because, come on, White Wolf. Martin since wrested the rights back and developed a new version with Green Ronin games.

Now let's have some serious talks about the Game of Thrones games because they have become some sort of endless source of amusement and frustration for the gaming fanbase. Game of Thrones is roughly speaking the second franchise with the most licensed board games, after star wars, and some of them have acquired quite a legendary status and a fanbase that goes beyond the book or series fans.

The great juggernaut for all the ASOIAF based games is Fantasy Flight Games

First and foremost we have the Game of Thrones board game, a game that after two editions still ranks high in the BGG top 100 board games, and has recently had an expansion. The Game of Thrones board game has become some sort of meme for the modern board gamers and it could be considered the equivalent of a more advanced risk, in which dice and blank character got replaced by a very flavourful and brutal combat system and a lot of thematical mechanics fueling the engine. Overall this game has been associated with concepts such as requiring maximum player count to really be entertaining, having an amazing amount of length and depth and being a very faithful representation of the political feeling the series inspired. Almost any boardgamer or wargamer worth his salt has played this game and enjoyed its highs, its lows and the amazing amount of frustrations it brings. This is probably the most well known of all the ASOIAF games and it was released way before Game of Thrones was a cultural phenomenon back in 2003.

Another game that bears mention, both for its excellent mechanics and its historical significance is the game of thrones card game. It is one of the most balanced card game experiences you can get, also full of flavour and with quite a great amount of balance and non-linear thinking. The best part is, unlike other card games, the game has a "living card game" release format, in which players know exactly what each booster pack brings and can buy cards in a more responsible manner rather than playing bingo and hoping to get a rare card. Also, the sole core set already provides more replayability than some fully-fledged board games.

Finally, the last game to mention in the FFG venerable trilogy of games is "Battles of Westeros", arguably the most ambitious and least successful of the three. Battles of Westeros was a fully-fledged wargame that used the Memoir 44/battlelore rules as a base, but then evolved into its own by introducing mechanics such as commanders, tactic cards and very creative scenario rules. Miniatures were made in 15 mm and for their time and scale they were quite detailed, some commanders are real standouts(I´m looking at you Robb Stark(with his wolf jumping at his side) and Rickard Karstark). Thanks to its scale, the game was able to provide players with a great number of options and units at a fraction of the price of other board games. With a core set that was already stacked with units and variety and then faction-specific expansions that added several more units and commanders. The game also came with scenario books that provided narrative play with quite creative rule variants, such as storming palisades, having decoys in escort missions and bombarding enemies with catapults. One scenario even tried to bring to life the battle of the blackwater (the hybrid invasion of kings landing by Stannis the Mannis). The game was incredible and quite a creative wargame, but its main issue was that the setup time was just terrible. Incredibly complex and tiresome when compared to the actual gameplay time.

And then the miniature producing Kickstarter juggernaut CMON decided to produce its own wargame, with AMAZING miniatures.

As this is CMON the game began with a [[https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/cmon/a-song-of-ice-and-fire-tabletop-miniatures-game]kickstarter], and after that, the game has had at least 2 dozen more releases with 3 more factions added.

The game has some mechanics taken from rank and file games such as KOW combining them with mechanics taken out of "battles of Westeros" particularly the tactics deck.
A new page is in the works [[ASOIAF Miniature Game]]

==Books==
*''A Game of Thrones''
*''A Clash of Kings''
*''A Storm of Swords'': Split into 2
*''A Feast for Crows'': half the characters, the point where the series goes down the toilet
*''A Dance with Dragons'': split into 2 the first is about the other half of the characters, and manages to pick things up a bit
*''The Winds of Winter'': First rumored to be ready by late 2018. Though he has shared chapters of the book, it's still not out despite being given an official release time of summer 2020. It might happen by 2030 if we're really lucky
*''A Dream of Spring'' : Unreleased and unlikely to ever be.
** GRRM will most likely die before writing this
*''The Dunk and Egg Series'': A story about a landless hedge knight travelling across Westeros with a Targaryen squire, so he can teach him how not to be an asshole to peasants.

==On The "Grimdarkness" of the Setting==

One important note: While the setting is usually held to be "Grimdark", it is also very true to Real Life in its nastiness, with real consequences for assholes.

For example: The King can order the execution of the head of the leading noble family of the North, for essentially no reason, but now he doesn't have hostages to exchange when their armies come after him seeking revenge. (And all this is modelled on various occasions where more or less '''exactly''' this kind of thing happened in Real Life Medival Europe.)

In other words: Truely heinous shit goes on, and there's nothing ''stopping'' that kind of shit... but there are ''consequences'' to that kind of shit that act as an effective counterbalance against being seen to do that kind of shit to the smarter nobles in the kingdom.

Whether the setting fully qualifies for "Grimdark" is a matter for debate, in other words.

==See Also==
*[[/tg/ Song of Ice and Fire Houses]]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U7NpSubAJQ Weiner, Weiner weiner]

[[category: Literature]]

A Song of Ice and Fire

2021-02-13T15:16:41Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* Characters */

[[image:Game_of_Thrones_Title-DVD.png|300px|thumb|WIENER PARTY! WIENER PARTY!]]

{{Spoilers}}
{{Grimdark}}
'''Warning: This article contains so many spoilers we're ruining books that haven't even been released yet.'''

{{Topquote|If you think this story has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.|Ramsay Bolton, nailing the grimdark theme of this series}}

'''''A Song of Ice and Fire''''' (more better known as '''''Game of Thrones''''') is a [[Grimdark]] fantasy book series for people who hate fantasy. Its central themes include [[Tzeentch|political Machiavellian scheming]], [[Khorne|ultraviolence]], [[Slaanesh|incest/sex with exposition]], and [[Nurgle|everyone trying to survive in such a Crapsack World of perpetual suffering]]. Thus it has become one of the most popular series of our generation and its author, [[George R. R. Martin]], has been praised for his highly realized world and gritty low fantasy style. He was even called "the American [[Tolkien]]" by <s>Time magazine</s> gormless idiots who lump diametrically different writers together for no other reason than that they're both fantasy authors, which would probably explain its sudden spike in popularity following the TV show (at least [[Skub|to a point, anyway.]]) The great joke of an actual World War veteran writing a story about heroic knights and elves being compared to and contrasted with a conscientious objector who writes [[edgy|dark (ranging from edgy to grimderp)]] fantasy is not lost on most.

The series itself is set on the [[Original character, do not steal|totally not medieval European ripoff]] realm of Westeros as it is wracked by a massive succession war drawing its realms into conflict. Everyone's picking up the pieces from the pervious war until one family's bid for power starts another war (book one), A bunch of dudes declare themselves kings (book two), they're burning the continent down in their scramble for power, and somehow all the fuck-ups managed to lose anyway (book three). Just when the guys who lost the least start thinking they get to rule over the remaining chaos, more fuck ups happen and more dudes show up (book four). Sadly, winter has finally come and, unbeknownst to most people, [[Thousand Sons|evil ice wizards leading soulless undead]] [[Alpha Legion|assumed to be only myths by most people]] are about to invade the continent from the north. By the fifth book, things are going and/or will go to shit even for the bad guys.

According to a leaked fan conversation, George R. R. Martin jokingly stated the series would end with an epic cock-slap fight between Samwell Tarly and Jaime Lannister.

TL;DR: [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Roses War of Roses] redux, with a side helpin' of <s>cliched fantasy</s> George's old sci-fi writing plots given a fantasy overhaul and [[/d/]]-lite.

[[ASOIAF Miniature Game|Miniature game has their own page now]]

==Characters==
{{cleanup}}
Since these books have some thousand named characters, you won't remember most of them without an obsessive disorder over details.
Here's a relatively shortlist (mostly based on the TV series rather than the books, but seems to randomly switch between the two) for the characters you'll care about.

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="width:100%">
===House Stark===

''"Winter Is Coming"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Honourable, bro-tier northerners who always [[Space Wolves|compare themselves to direwolves]]. They have a tendency towards [[Lawful Stupid]] that proves to bite them in the ass due to naivete about how [[Tzeentch|Westerosi corrupt politics actually works]]. They're also arguably the protagonists of the setting. Basically Scotland and/or the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_york House of York].
* Eddard Stark, ''The Quiet Wolf'': Patriarch, lord and POV death-puppet. Not nearly as stupid as everyone tries to pretend, but still a dead man walking.
* Robb Stark, ''The Young Wolf'': Shiny, [[Lawful Stupid]] King Arthur-like hero. After waging a successful war to avenge his murdered father, he was betrothed to a noblewoman but he ended having comfort sex with a virgin noblewoman which may have been arranged by her scheming bitch mother, while in softcore porno he got the hots for a commoner. Cacks it nastily: he got his head cut off and his pet's wolf's head stuck on his body, which was paraded around while his enemies chanted "HERE COMES THE KING IN THE NORTH!" In other words, he's a Scottish [[Roman Empire|Hannibal Barca]].
* Sansa Stark: Useless teenage girl extraordinaire at the start of the series with dreams of marrying a prince and "having lots of babies", but gets shat on hard by reality. Becomes Littlefinger's replacement goldfish when Catelyn's no longer around, her father got killed and her best friend was sold as a sex slave, and ended up in the worst relationship we can possibly imagine with King Joffrey. [[Grimdark|Even got deflowered via rape by Ramsey Bolton]] and married to him before managing to escape with the help of others. Currently acting as a co-ruler to her brother/cousin Jon Snow, and has learned much from her suffering, allowing her to kick Littlefinger out of the Great Game via throat slitting. While in the book Littlefinger is/was setting her up at House Arryn to claim the Vale and the North, the show version becomes QUEEN IN DA NORF in the final episode.
* Arya Stark: Little tomboy assassin. Has a kill list, but doesn't get to use it so long as she is an amnesiac apprentice of [[Officio Assassinorum|the Friendly Neighborhood Assassins Guild]]. After breaking away (in the TV series) from the Faceless Men she heads back to Westeros to get revenge on a LOT of people, giving her one of the highest kill counts in the series. Is currently back with her sister Sansa, acting as a general "troubleshooter". Kills the Night King like a fucking champion [[Skub|(or, alternatively, in a nonsensical plot twist)]] in Season 8, and is now riding south to add Cersei to her kill count. Instead, the Hound talks her out of it and she decides to sail into the unknown west.
* Catelyn Stark (nee Tully): A woman who trusts the wrong people at the worst time, causing a lot of misery. Gets killed along with Robb, then comes back (books only) as an undead witch bent on killing all the Boltons, Freys, Greyjoys, Lannisters... pretty much everyone she thinks was tangentially involved in betraying her and her family, or somebody who just pissed her off.
* Bran Stark: Intelligent little boy, named after the founder of House Stark, Brandon the Builder (basically Tony Stark combined with [[Leman Russ]]). He was crippled in the first sign of major [[GrimDark]]. Has prophetic dreams and becomes a [[druid]]. In the TV series, fucks things up by alerting the Others to where he's hiding, which gets all of the Children, his loyal wolf, the Three-Eyed Crow and Hodor killed. For good measure, turns out to have accidentally ''caused'' Hodor to become, well, Hodor, as he was using his druid powers to figure out why Hodor is only able to say Hodor, resulting in Hodor's gruesome death-by-zombies being beamed directly into young! Hodor's brain. He's now the Three-Eyed Raven and likes going around being creepy as fuck and generally weirding people out. Becomes King of the <s>Seven</s> Six Kingdoms in a hilariously nonsensical plot twist in the finale.
* Rickon Stark: Four years old at the start, turning into a real little [[Barbarian]] from not being raised properly, because everyone who would have raised him was dead or missing. In the show, he ends up hanging out at the Umbers, then is handed over to Ramsay as a prisoner when Smalljon becomes afraid of the Wildlings living north of him (who were invited by Jon Snow to fight the Zombie Apocalypse), and finally dies via arrow in a sick game of "dodge the missiles" courtesy of Ramsey.
* Jon Snow, ''The White Wolf'': A bastard living in the Stark household before leaving for the Night's Watch (basically [[The Last Chancers|Colonel Schaeffer]] with more convicted rapists under his command) and excels there because nearly every one of his fellow recruits are peasants who have never had a formal days of training while Jon has had the serious training afforded to all lords. After he takes over by becoming the Watch Commander secures and alliance with the Wildlings, ancient barbarian enemies of the Night's Watch, because when the end of the world is coming you tend to think outside the box. Currently revived by R'hllor in the series after being stabbed to death by the senior members of the Watch. Isn't actually Eddard's bastard son, but rather the legitimate son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, meaning that he is, in fact, the rightful heir to the Iron Throne. The new KING IN DA NORF according to his supporters after he killed Ramsay Bolton and took back Winterfell, and is also currently hooking up with his own aunt. He turns on Daenerys once he realizes she's lost it and kills her in the throne room. The Unsullied want his head, but instead, King Bran exiles him to the Night's Watch and he fucks off into the far north to live with the Free Folk.
* Hodor: Hodor. Hodor, Hodor, Hodor. <s>An enormous and possibly retarded stable boy, and Bran's faithful steed.</s> Hodor. Ok, in all actual seriousness, this guy is probably one of the most tragic figures in this series (and that's saying something). [[Grimdark|The guy basically received horrible visions of his own death fighting a horde of zombies, buying time for his friends to escape by literally holding the door shut as he was hacked apart]]. This causes him to suffer a psychiatric break, leading him to develop Immature Personality Disorder and his only speech is to repeat a garbled phrase of his friend's last request "hold the door" for all of his adult life; the logic here is that "hold the door" devolves into "hol' th' door" and eventually "Hodor". You now feel bad for at laughing at the guy.
* Osha: A Wildling woman who surrendered to the Starks and becomes their servant in exchange for not getting killed. Now dead in the show thanks to Ramsay's dickery.</div></div>

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===House Targaryen===

''"Fire and Blood"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The former Dragon kings and rulers of Westeros, [[Eldar|fair-haired purple-eyed beautiful people]] who have descended from the [[Dark Age of Technology|ancient technologically-advanced superpower]] of [[Roman Empire|Valyria]], which collapsed because of [[Fall of the Eldar|their colossal hubris]]. After the anarchic [[Age of Strife|Century of Blood]], the Targaryen patriarch Aegon I, instead of reconquering the lost cause of Essos and of Valyria's former empire, looked towards the rather primitive continent of Westeros, and its squabbling Seven Kingdoms, [[Great Crusade|to establish his own Imperial dynasty and unify the Realm]]. Aegon I is essentially the Low Fantasy version of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_the_Conqueror William the Conqueror] and/or the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]], with a little dash of [[/d/|incest]].

[[Rules Lawyer|Thanks to a loophole]], the Targaryens were immune to the moral objections relating to incest. Common sense (and common decency) took back seat to a time-honoured policy of [[/d/|catastrophic inbreeding]], which made a number of problems. Aegon I married his older and younger sisters and had several kids with each, which would be the start of another Targaryen tradition: the occasional succession crisis. The inbreeding would also lead to a line of almost alternatingly great and lunatic kings, culminating in Aerys "The Mad King" Targaryen and a palace coup. Eventually, the lineage was banished to Essos after a brutal civil war, the remnants trying to gather armies to retake the Iron Throne which they see as rightfully theirs. Basically a family of inbreeding girly-men with a massive sense of superiority and as arrogant as they come, forgetting that most of what they accomplished was due to the fact that only they had dragons. Still, they occasionally did have genuinely good people like Aegon V (aka Egg), Jaeherys I the Conciliator, his wife Good Queen Alysanne and complete badasses like Brynden Bloodraven and Baelor Breakspear.
Pseudo-Romans and/or the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Normandy House of Normandy].

* Aerys II, ''The Mad King'': [[Kharn|A pretty fun guy to be around]]. Had a psychotic fascination for fire, which extended to being a psychotic fascination for burning traitors, a category of people that eventually grew to include anybody he disliked for any reason, anyone who disagreed with him, and a few people who were unlucky enough to be caught in the crossfire. [[Goge Vandire|Teamkilled by his bodyguard Jaime for planning to burn the city down with everyone inside it, and even refused to accept his death until he actually died]].
* [[Mary Sue|Daenerys Targaryen]], ''Stormborn'': She was sold by her brother to a barbarian leader [[Genghis motherfucking Khan|Khal (warlord) Drogo]] in exchange for the promise that he'd use his Khalassar (Warband/tribe) to conquer Westeros. She found her self esteem as his wife, then her husband killed her idiot brother Viserys and promised to conquer the world for Daenerys, making her a full-fledged badass barbarian war queen. Unfortunately, her husband died when [[Derp|Daenerys trusted one of the slaves whose town Drogo had pillaged and burnt to heal an infected wound of his]] and his horde fell apart (though the book is somewhat ambiguous as to whether the slave did kill Drogo). Then she hatched three dragons (completely by accident when she tried to commit suicide) bringing them back from extinction, and now everyone wants to marry her because she is now one of the most powerful people around due to said dragons and being good-looking (in the books this is by the age-of-consent in Westeros standards, where girls are women when they start getting their periods and boys are men at age 13). [[Gets shit done]] except the entire fifth book, in which she mopes around about wanting to marry an annoying, flamboyant mercenary instead of saving herself for political marriage. After banging the flamboyant mercenary, she later marries a Meereenese noble who guarantees he can get her some peace (more likely [[Just As Planned|just as he planned]]). She also does nothing while insurgents kill her men, a horde of plagued refugees spread disease to her city and standing idly by while an enemy army besieges her walls, all for realistically political reasons because the world is a horrible place. Learns how to train her dragon. While she's stuck with a Khalassar in the books, in the TV series she made it to Westeros invading the place with an army of elite hoplites, a massive horde of Dothraki and her dragons. By the time she gets to King's Landing she's taken significant losses, including two of her dragons, and is fucking her nephew (Jon Snow). Has officially gone Mad Queen as of S8E5, wherein she burned most of King's Landing after the city attempted to surrender. Jon kills her in the series finale so that she won't go around burninating the rest of the world.
* The dragons: The three dragons that Daenerys hatched. They're wyverns that breathe fire, [[Awesome|have blood hot enough to melt steel]], and [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|cook their meat before eating it]]. Naturally, some of the coolest things in the story.
** Drogon; named for her late husband, Khal Drogo. Black and Red, the biggest and [[Gork|most aggressive dragon]]. Starts eating people and then escapes, leading to the other two getting imprisoned. Interrupts a gladiator tournament, killing a lot of people before being whipped by Daenerys into flying her to a Khalassar that broke off from her husband's after his death. Is now the last dragon standing after Viserion bites it north of the Wall and his undead body is put down at Winterfell and Rhaegal gets shot down over Dragonstone. Takes Dany's body, destroys the Iron Throne and fucks off to who knows where after Dany is killed.
** Rhaegal; named for the first of her dead brothers, Rhaegar. Green and gold, the [[Mork|cunning one]] and the loudest (with a roar "...that would have sent a hundred lions fleeing,"). Kills Quentyn Martell when the latter is trying to goad Viserion (see below). After breaking out of jail with Viserion they go "all your bases are belong to us" on Meereen, killing people and taking over the pyramid of a loyal family as his lair. Last seen playing "sack the town" with Viserion in the books. Is now dead in the show thanks to Euron Greyjoy and some Diabolus ex Machina bullshit.
** Viserion; named for her other brother Viserys. White and gold and the [[Vulkan|friendliest]] (as dragons go, he still eats people). Dug cave for himself in his jail then moved into another pyramid after his and his brother's great escape. Gets killed by the [[Vampire Counts|Night's King in the show via a magic spear, then his corpse is reanimated to be the Night King's zombie dragon steed]] and blasts a hole in the famous Wall, allowing the armies of snow elves and zombies to start flooding Westeros. Now perma-dead thanks to the Night King biting it.
* Viserys Targaryen, ''The Beggar King'': Daenerys' physically abusive older brother. Best known for being a bully with incestuous lust for her, and an arrogant and incompetent fuck with a massive sense of entitlement. He eventually got himself killed for being an all-around jerk and whiny idiot, which culminated in him threatening his sister and unborn nephew with a sword while drunk in a sacred Dothraki place where weapons and bloodshed are forbidden on pain of death (execution is done by bloodless death - having a scarf wrapped tight around the neck and being drowned in a barrel). Daenerys' husband [[awesome|poured molten gold over his head and called it his promised crown, also ensuring his death didn't technically shed any blood in their sacred place]].
* Aegon Targaryen, ''Aegon VI'': Daenerys' nephew, the son of her brother Rhaegar. Been hiding in Essos for the entire length of the series, but recently raised an army of Westerosi exiles and threw them all a massive Welcome Home party with rape and pillage. Wants to marry his aunt because she has dragons, and might not actually be a member of House Targaryen if you believe some fans. He can actually count past 6, can multiply numbers, can read different language and has a minor understanding of geometry thus cementing him as one of the most educated people in this overwrought series. Can also do his own laundry.
* Brynden Rivers ''Bloodraven'': A Targaryen bastard who came to prominence about a hundred years before the series as sort of sorcerer, he later became known as the "Three-Eyed Raven/Crow" after encountering the Children of the Forest, and uses his powers to help advert the Long Night and train Bran. He's described as having long, white hair, missing an eye, bound to a tree, knows all and sees all, associated heavily with ravens and omens... [[Vikings|yeah, he's very much Odin, come to think of it.]]</div></div>

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===House Lannister===

''Hear Me Roar"/"A Lannister Always Pays His Debts"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">[[Monopoly|Westeros' richest family]], proud, pompous, selfish and fabulous assholes. Not much of a martial tradition but if you cross them [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7t7cnwlOgY they will fucking cut you]. You can tell they are the bad guys because they have an army of sick fucks, including a zebra-riding mercenary band and 7' 8" Khornate Champion <s>not-Goliath</s> Gregor Clegane. House Lancaster combined with the House of Rothschild and the Mafia.
* Tywin Lannister, ''The Lion of Lannister'': The Godfather, head of the house, and obsessed with his reputation as a Magnificent Bastard extraordinaire. Lawful Evil Personified. He was a most feared general whose greatest achievement was [[Exterminatus|erasing House Reyne from existence]], which was immortalised in his own sweet-yet-creepy-as-fuck theme song (The Rains of Castamere) that became used as a warning against anyone standing against him. During his tenure as Hand of the King (i.e. Prime Minister), he was a political genius who operates as the true power behind the Iron Throne, keeping the realm stable and prosperous despite the stupidity of Aerys II and Joffrey. However, despite all of his achievements, he was an [[Emperor|absolutely terrible father]], who treats his children as nothing more than tools to further his political agenda. He is completely blind to the incestuous relationship his two oldest children had, and hated Tyrion and made his life a living hell for very poor reasons. He humiliated Tyrion whenever it wouldn't threaten the family's reputation, berated Tyrion for being a whore-monger despite secretly being one himself, [[Grimdark|tried to get him killed multiple times]], and as the capstone of awful parenting, he taught Tyrion not to marry commoners after he married one called Tysha - by forcing Tyrion to watch Tysha get gang-raped, forcing him to rape her too and then annulling their marriage. The only person Tywin truly loved was his wife. He eventually gets his comeuppance when Tyrion finds out the truth about the Tysha incident and kills him with a crossbow, all while mentioning that out of all his children, Tyrion was the most alike to Tywin himself. He's based on [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Neville,_16th_Earl_of_Warwick Warwick the Kingmaker].
* Joanna Lannister: Tywin's late wife and first cousin, meaning the next three characters are inbred as well, ironically. Dies giving birth to Tyrion, which is part of why Tywin hates him, though Cersei hates him for other reasons. Caught wind of Cersei and Jaime's incestuous tendencies, but she died before she could tell Tywin. It is implied that her ghost visits Jaime in a dream and mourns the current state of her family.
* Cersei Lannister, ''Cunt Queen'': Tywin and Joanna's first child. Twin sister to Jaime Lannister and wife to King Robert Baratheon. She fucks her brother Jaime all the time and had three of his children, whom she passed off as Robert's to grab power. She is a massive narcissist who thinks of herself as "female Tywin" and hence seeks to rule Westeros as the Queen, and will do anything to keep her power... even when [[Abbadon the Despoiler|most of her plans end up becoming utter failures]]. Crazy as all fuck and prophesied to be killed by the "little brother." This is because of a prophecy a Gypsy made when Cersei was a child that she'd be a beautiful queen, lose everything, her children would die before her, and the "Valonqar" would kill her. Though that does explain why she hates Tyrion as hard as all fuck, [[Just As Planned|the exact translation of the term]] that was used is "younger sibling", and not necessarily her sibling, which opens the door to all sorts of characters who hate the fuck out of her. Since Jaime is technically younger by a few seconds, him killing Cersei would be an interesting twist not without buildup. Possibly the Gypsy was messing with her head because of what a bitch Cersei was being to her; something Cersei never grew out of. Cersei is currently alive only because Varys wants her to be, [[Just As Planned|as she's a terrible queen who'll destabilize the realm enough for him to bring back the Targaryens]]. She was completely shaved, stripped of power in all but her royal heritage and forced to do a nude walk of penance throughout the city by the High Sparrow (ASOIAF Pope equivalent) after he uncovered her crimes. Now she's waiting for her hair to grow back and maybe thinking of revenge. She gets it in the show by blowing up the Sept (ASOIAF church) with everyone she doesn't like inside it, having her cousin killed near the Wildfire then capturing the nun who was her jailer and [[Grimdark|leaving her to be tortured to death by zombie Gregor Clegane]]. She is in short Thanquol disguised as a beautiful blonde woman. Gets anticlimactically squashed by a collapsing ceiling along with Jaime during Daenerys's assault on King's Landing. (her biggest issue? to don't die sooner, for the seven's sake!)
* Jaime Lannister, ''The Kingslayer'': Younger twin brother (by about three seconds) to Cersei Lannister and commander of the Kingsguard. He loves his sister in every sense of the word and had three children with her. Killed the last king despite his oath, and is widely hated for it, even though everyone agrees that dying was a massive improvement for Aerys. The reason for this betrayal was that Aerys had a huge stockpile of Acme Brand Magic Napalm stockpiled under the city, ready to be set off the moment a siege broke through the town walls, and Jaime's options were to let it happen or kill Aerys before the crazy fuck got ''everybody'' killed. His desire to openly love his sister and win the respect he feels he deserves eventually causes Cersei to reject him. Starts off as an arrogant douche [[Grimdark|and tried to murder Bran Stark, but accidentally crippled him instead]]; he becomes otherwise quite bro-tier besides the whole wants-to-fuck-his-sister thing, though he grows out of ''that'' as well when he realizes what a bitch she is and that there's plenty of women who want his jock - even the hunky Brienne isn't that bad looking. Thoroughly humbled to boot after learning a few hard lessons, losing his sword hand, and having some time to rethink his life. Also, the only person in his family who treats Tyrion well, along with one of his aunts and two dead uncles. Essentially, a more incestuous and douchey Blood Angel. In the books, he is currently being lured into a trap by Lady Stoneheart. In the show, he has finally told Cersei to get fucked after realizing that she has well and truly lost it, and is riding north to help fight the White Walkers. He survives the Battle of Winterfell, hooks up with Brienne, and then rides south [[Derp|because he just can't let Cersei go.]] Winds up getting shanked by Euron Greyjoy and dies [[Fail|via collapsing ceiling]].
* Tyrion Lannister, ''Halfman'': a very intelligent dwarf who is awesome, but hated by all of the civilized characters in the books, except his brother Jaime. He seems to do much better when getting drunk with whores, rogues, bastards and barbarians. His silver tongue is one of his greatest strengths (he's witty and good at persuading people) and weaknesses (he's quick with insults and the truth in a city ruled by sociopaths and liars). Tyrion is also one of the only characters with an actual sense of the bigger picture, and an interest toward steering the world toward an outcome that ''doesn't'' involve a [[The End Times|Warhammer End Times]] scenario. Unfortunately, the world's movers, shakers, and those who generally have the power to make a difference are increasingly either a) dead, b) scattered to the winds or c) hate his dwarf guts. Despite the increasing difficulty and fruitlessness of his task, however, [[Awesome|Tyrion still fights]]. After being framed for killing Joffrey, he killed his own father and is currently in exile in the Free Cities, weaselling his way into leading a merc band and trying to sign them up with Daenerys' forces, recognizing her as one of the few chances Westeros has got of fixing its shit (provided she can get her own shit together, which she's having a bit of trouble with). Since characters in this series tend to either be walking tropes, rip-offs of other fantasy characters, or historical people with different names, Tyrion is probably based on the great [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miles_Vorkosigan Miles Vorkosigan] (who was himself based on a few people including Sir Winston Churchill) and is a nod to King Richard III (a deformed but competent king later demonized by historians of his era). Even if he is usually the smartest one in the room at any given time, though, Tyrion is still not above having some derp moments. Exhibit A, when Tyrion asked his father what happened to his first wife (right before killing him), he took an ''obvious'' "I don't know and I don't care," response ("Wherever whores go") as actual, literal directions. The show version meets Daenerys and becomes her Hand only to [[Fail|fuck up a bunch of stuff]] and lose her trust. Sells her out when he realizes that she's gone round the bend and winds up becoming Hand to King Bran.
* Kevan Lannister: Tywin's younger brother, considered "the reliable one". One of the few decent Lannisters, though saying that he is perfectly happy carrying out Tywin's bidding. Tried to talk sense into Cersei and was later called in to try and fix her mess. He did such a good job of it that Varys decided to personally thank him. With a crossbow. And a group of knife-wielding children. In the show he dies with the rest of the crowd when the Great Sept got nuked by Cersei - the manner of his book death was given over to Grand Maester Pycelle at the exact same time.
* Cersei and Robert's (actually Jaime's) children:
** Joffrey Baratheon: "Heir" of the throne, and the technical king of Westeros during the War of the Five Kings since he lives in King's Landing and sits on the throne. Turned out to be worse than Aerys. He died and there was much rejoicing. [[Fail|Except by his mother, who instead had sex on his corpse]]. Fourteen years old at the time of his death.
** Tommen Baratheon: The new king on the Iron Throne. Nine years old. Married to a teenaged shotacon wife who's (unknown to him) the granddaughter of his brother's true killer. Trying to litigate the criminalization of beets. Loves [[Cats|kittens]]. He's pretty well-rounded and non-fucked up, which is a miracle considering his parents, both putative and biological. Also seems to be trying to take kinging seriously, but his mom is trying to quash that in her subliminal attempt to hold power indefinitely, so whether it holds is another matter entirely. Prophesied to die before Cersei, which doubly tragic due to his age and being a much better person than her. He commits suicide after Cersei gets her revenge via killing his wife, godfather, great-uncle, and all his religious friends via blowing up the ASOIAF equivalent of St. Peter's Basilica, because of course her power hunger was more important than his happiness and well being.
** Mycella Baratheon: Princess, and Cersei and "Robert's" second oldest child. She had her face fucked up because of Arianne Martell's amateur intrigues, which overlapped with poor planning, general stupidity, and another guy's backstabbing. Ten years old. Before the maiming, she was quite decent and non-evil. Who knows how she'll turn out now with half of her face cut off. Also prophesied to die before Cersei. In the show, she had a crush on Oberyn's surviving nephew but was killed by Elia in revenge for Oberyn's death, but alive in the books though missing an ear. Also, the readership all got on George's balls for maiming this girl, mostly because it was a sign that he had run out of ideas and was basically just milking Diabolus ex Machina ([[Just As Planned|or that's what he wants us to think]]).
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===House Baratheon===

''"Ours is the Fury"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Ascended to the Iron Throne after a successful rebellion against the Mad King Aerys II Targaryen. Produces no less than three claimants to the succession, each one very different from the other. Technically a cadet branch of House Targaryen as their founder Orys was allegedly a Targaryen bastard, who took the original Storm Kings (House Durrandon) deer sigil after killing the last one and fucking his only child Argella and then 200 odd years later, King Egg's daughter married their grandfather, they're pretty much the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Plantagenet House of Plantagenet].
* Robert Baratheon, ''The Usurper'': Fat, old, former badass who led the rebellion, and now the king who married Cersei Lannister. Then he fucked a bunch of other women and had lots of illegitimate kids. He was killed while mixing boar hunting and drinking, but whether this death was planned or not is uncertain. On the surface, a king with a thing for easy laughs and partying; right underneath the surface, he's irresponsible and leaves the actual ruling of a nation to his staff, deeper under the surface he's pretty much a sad, lonely old bro who would rather not have been king. Comparable to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_IV_of_England Henry IV], in that both were powerfully built military geniuses who overthrew the existing monarchy and later succumbed to an unhealthy lifestyle.
* Stannis '''The Mannis''' Baratheon: Robert's younger brother, an all-around badass who swings between [[Lawful Stupid]] (more so in the show than the books) and [[gets shit done|getting shit done]]. [[Judge Dredd|believes so strongly in the rule of law]] that he feels compelled to take the Iron Throne for himself despite wanting nothing to do with it. Is advised by a priestess of the God of light, Melisandre, and a lowborn smuggler named Davos Seaworth raised to knighthood and nobility. [[C.S Goto|His character is ruined in the show into an incompetent pawn of Melisandre and gets killed off just because one of the showrunners didn't like him]].
** Shireen Baratheon: Stannis's kid daughter. The sweet, charming, and intelligent little lady who was left with a deformity on her face from a disease called greyscale. Teaches Davos how to read, and is probably the most innocent person in the series alongside Tommen, Myrcella and a few others. Being the grim and dark universe A Song of Ice and Fire is, however, this means that she's likely going to end up becoming fuel for a vicious fire god. In the show she does, but in the books, she is safe and sound since Stannis isn't stupid enough to bring him with her while campaigning. His wife, on the other hand, being such an idiotic fanatical pyromaniac... well, her odds aren't exactly looking that great.
* Renly Baratheon, ''That Gay Guy'': Robert and Stannis's youngest brother. Took Loras Tyrell (a.k.a. Knight of Flowers, Pretty Boy, etc.) as his lover. Decided he was better suited to be king, though the bizarre and outdated laws of the land stated Stannis was next in line (though Joffrey and then Tommen were first since they were [[Pretend|officially]] Bobby B's legitimate kids). Was hugely popular since he had Robert's charisma, which led to him getting the most support, but he lacked Stannis's conviction and devotion to the duty of actually doing the work of a king, or even Robert's ability to wage war. Killed by Melisandre with some "help" by Stannis ''The Mannis'' for trying to steal his crown, though in the books Stannis may not have been completely aware of the role he played in Renly's death. He's basically [[That Guy]] of ASOIAF, since quite a lot of shit is his fault, indirectly or otherwise.
*Gendry Baratheon, the Bastard Son. One of Robert's many, many bastard children, and the one who gets the most page and screen time. He starts out as a humble blacksmith in King's Landing, who first comes to Ned's attention when Lord Stark is investigating the death of Jon Arryn. From there, he gets shipped off to the Night's Watch to avoid the imminent purge of Robert's bastards and winds up becoming friends with Arya and Hot Pie. After some adventuring and sexual tension with Arya (at least in the show), he joins the Brotherhood Without Banners. In the show, they sell him to Melisandre so she can use him for a blood magic ritual, while in the books he just goes on being a smith and doesn't get involved in anything particularly weird or shady. He's helping run an inn as a brotherhood front/orpganage when he reappears in the books, but in the show, Ser Davos sets him free and tells him to fuck off, which he does for a few seasons. He eventually turns up back in King's Landing, where Davos finds him and recruits him (and his comically oversized LARPing hammer) for Team Snow. He helps Jon capture a wight to show Cersei, makes dragonglass weapons for the Army of the Living, has sex with Arya, and fights in the Battle of Winterfell, after which Daenerys legitimizes him as the new lord of House Baratheon.</div></div>

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===House Tully===

''"Family, Duty, Honor"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> Lords of the central river lands. Being the obligatory central nation they spend a lot of the series being fought over like a cake in between fat kids. Basically Poland/Netherlands, given they have so many rivers and how hard they've been fucked over.
*Edmure Tully: Basically the SoIaF universe's eternal butt monkey (because he happens to be a decent fucking person). A useless ponce with a dense streak a mile wide and a bad habit of bragging about things he shouldn't be proud of. It took hanging in a stockade for a few months to make him experience some growth. When Jaime was brought in to unfuck the situation and end the siege at Tully's house in Riverrun, Jaime's "negotiation" pressured him into convincing his house to surrender, but he made sure [[Troll|that Brynden got out first]]. Currently spending his days at the Lannister house as a hostage to make sure that the Tullys don't try to ruin the situation again. Tries to make a case for himself as king in the final episode, only to get shut down by Sansa.
*Brynden Tully ''the Blackfish'': He didn't catch the memo that he was part of the joke faction, and proceeds to spend the entire series fucking Lannister shit up and generally being a boss. Thought to be the black sheep in a family of fish. (Thus "Blackfish", geddit?) Ended up holed up in Riverrun, and got the fuck out right before the end of the siege, so that the Lannisters couldn't dick him over as a prisoner (or so he can keep dicking them over before he became a prisoner). Also widely accepted by the fans to be a closeted homosexual. In the HBO show, he gets killed when resisting arrest from Tully forces by order of Edmure. [[Rage|And it happens offscreen.]]</div></div>

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===House Arryn===

''"As High as Honor"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Mountain lords turned [[NEET|neurotic shut ins]]. Goes through lords about as quickly as you would expect a castle equipped with a door that opens into empty air. Basically Switzerland/Afghanistan, seeing as how they stayed neutral in the War of Five Kings, their land is covered by nothing but mountains, and they're constantly fighting with the local tribes. They were being entertainingly screwed over by Littlefinger until his death.
*Jon Arryn: Only appears posthumously and is the catalyst for the whole plot. The true mastermind behind Robert's Rebellion was killed by Littlefinger via Lysa when he figured out that Robert's kids are bastards of Cersei and Jaime. His death was blamed on the Lannisters to destabilize Westeros.
*Lysa Arryn: Loli bride turned Lady of the Vale after the Lannisters forcibly retired her husband from life, at least officially. In reality, Littlefinger convinced her to poison her husband and blame the Lannisters [[Just As Planned|which pretty much started this whole clusterfuck to begin with]]. A closeted, crazy woman who spends the entire series in her castle "the Eyrie" being useless, breastfeeding her own son at age 10, obsessing over Littlefinger's cock, and [[Derp|refusing to help her sister and nephew in the war she and Littlefinger pretty much started]], which may have guaranteed their eventual horrific murders by their enemies. Finally gets her comeuppance when Littlefinger kicks her out the moon door (post-taunting, of course), putting her out of our collective misery. Long live the Lord Protector.
* Robert Arryn: ''Littlefuck'', Lysa's equally mentally unstable autistic son, who still sucks on his mom's tit, and enjoys seeing people "fly" out the moon door to their deaths. He actually seems to be a bit smarter than you would first think and is a really, really good judge of character, except with Sansa. Secretly being poisoned by Littlefinger and Sansa, so she can take over the Vale and North. Named Robin in the show because the showrunners were afraid that having two characters with the same name would be too confusing. The show version doesn't get poisoned but turns up in the series finale as the Lord of the Vale.</div></div>

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===House Greyjoy===

''"We Do Not Sow"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">[[Awesome|A house founded by Cthulhu-worshipping Norscans]]. While not actual Vikings in any sense of the word, there is little other way to describe them. They live on some islands and almost their entire culture is based around raiding and the ocean. Their religion holds it shameful for a man to pay for personal possessions, and states they have to get things either by trade or The Iron Price; seizing something from the body or belongings of someone he defeated in conquest rather than paying or trading for it. Also, only possessions acquired via The Iron Price command respect among the Ironborn.
*Balon Greyjoy: Asshole dad, crappy ruler and general shithead who rebelled against Robert Baratheon and failed miserably. All of his sons were killed, except for Theon, who was taken as a hostage to ensure his good behaviour. Despite being in a position to join either the Lannisters or the Starks during the War of Five Kings and thereby get whatever he wanted from either (independence and the North, or independence and Casterly Rock, respectively), he does the absolute stupidest thing possible and declares himself independent without support from anyone, attacking the North and the rest of Westeros, thereby virtually guaranteeing that he'll be on the receiving end of another one-sided battle. Never got that far, though, since he was pushed off a bridge during a storm by an assassin his brother Euron sent.
*Victarion Greyjoy: Admiral of the Iron Fleet. [[Gets shit done]] while wearing [[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Lokhir Fellheart's]] armour during boarding actions. Does it for vengeance, the lulz and as a ticket to Ironborn heaven (which they believe men can reach if they die in battle or by drowning). Worships both R'hllor and the Drowned God. For all his badassery, is far too stupid to realize that his black Red Priest sidekick's constant rambling about his "great destiny" is inevitably going to end in his burning to death on a sacrificial pyre. Said Red Priest impressed Victarion by surviving being marooned at sea for 3 weeks and turning Victarion's infected arm into a super-strong volcano arm. Seriously.
*Aeron Greyjoy ''Damphair'': A priestly Alan Moore who drank seawater. Once a fun-loving party animal, he nearly drowned during the Greyjoy Rebellion and became a dour and devout priest of the Ironborn [[Cthulhu]] religion. Confirmed to have been raped by Euron when they were kids. Planned to overthrow Euron, who bribed and manipulated his way into becoming king of the Ironborn. [[Grimdark|Was captured by Euron and tortured to try and make him renounce his faith, including feeding him spoiled food, drugging him and burning him. Later Euron tied Aeron, naked, to the prow of Euron's ship alongside Euron's tortured, pregnant former lover because she showed Aeron kindness by once giving him proper food]]. He tried to console her by saying their suffering will end in underwater Valhalla, [[Awesome|showing Euron failed to make him deny his faith]].
*Theon Greyjoy: Son of the Lord/King of the Iron Islands. Had the personality of a stereotypical high school jock, being an excellent archer and womanizer and proud of it. He was given to Ned Stark by his father after Balon failed to successfully rebel against Robert Baratheon. Swore an oath to Robb, but then ditched him out of a desperate need to please his father. Ends up castrated and acts as the personal slave of Ramsay Bolton after Ramsay puts him through horrific torture to turn him into Reek. Rescued by his sister, but the psychological trauma meant it took a while before he could stop calling himself Reek and start getting back to normal mentally (physically he's now missing a few parts that don't heal or grow back). Dead in the show, thanks to charging the Night King by himself while protecting Bran.
* Asha Greyjoy: Theon's older sister and a commander of some renown which is quite a feat - almost every man on the Iron Islands except her father either tried to get in her pants or told her to [[-4 STR|stop playing around and go do some actual women's work]], before she kicked enough ass that they respected her. Rescues Theon after he escapes Ramsay but then loses him to Stannis. Is named Yara in the show because the showrunners thought her name sounded too similar to Osha the wildling chick and is also apparently [[PROMOTIONS|bisexual]]. Eventually becomes Lady of the Iron Islands in the show because she's the last Greyjoy standing.
*Euron Greyjoy ''Crow's Eye'': A [[Chaos|sick fuck Lovecraftian pirate armed with unnatural sorcerous powers, so evil]] that Balon banished him from the Iron Islands. Every member of his crew is a mute because Euron ripped all their tongues out. Many of them are also the illegitimate sons of women he's raped around the world during his raids. Uses an eyepatch to conceal a pitch-black eye, his personal "obviously a villain" mark. Raped his brother Victarion's wife, then claimed she wanted it so Victarion had to kill her. Raped his younger brother Aeron. Also showed back up in the Iron Islands the day after Balon died, despite having been raping and pillaging in Essos before that, which is suspicious as fuck. Now the new Iron King. Plans to conquer Westeros and has some unknown plan to deal with Daenerys. Revealed in the book ''Winds of Winter'' to be [[Honsou|the sickest fuck in an entire setting of sick fucks (and that's saying something)]], including having a god complex while hating religion so much he [[Grimdark|tortures any clergymen he captures to try and make them give up their faiths using ironic tortures themed around their religions - such as preachers have their tongues cut out and burning priests of the fire god to death]]. Euron tried and failed to break his priest brother Aeron's faith so he lashed Aeron to the front of his ship to die [[Grimdark|alongside Euron's own pregnant lover Falia]]. In the show he's just a psycho pirate turned king without any magic powers or gear who wants to bang Cersei and Jaime kills him in the second-to-last episode. </div></div>

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===House Tyrell===

''"Growing Strong"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Lords of Highgarden and backstabbers par-excellence and owners of a lot of fertile land. Unlike the current lot of Lannisters they understand the value of good PR, balancing ruthlessness with being somewhat amicable, political savvy and not being stuck-up on honour. They're basically France. [[Fail|Unfortunately, they've all been wiped out in the show]].
*Mace "The Ace" Tyrell: Lord of Highgarden. Massively fat and overweight, while being stupid, overreaching and constantly mocked by everyone else, he's otherwise known as a friendly man, a good Lord when it comes to management and a good father; unfortunately, this isn't enough to save a man in the Game of Thrones. Gets killed with the rest of the noble houses when Cersei blows up the Great Sept of Baelor.
*Olenna Tyrell: The brains behind House Tyrell's schemes. Known as the ''Queen of Thorns'' for being an outspoken, prickly and venomous old lady. Schemed with Littlefinger to have Joffrey killed, but she carried it out with compressed powder "gems" that poisoned his wine. Now she keeps her family in line and is hailed as a more progressive version of Tywin. Became a fan favourite for constantly dropping awesome one-liners and telling the Sand Snakes to shut up. [[Fail|Later killed off in the show]], but not before revealing to Jaime that [[Awesome|she was the one who killed Joffrey and asking him to make sure Cersei knows it]].
*Willas Tyrell: Mace Tyrell's eldest son and heir, crippled at a very young age when jousting against Oberyn Martell. Probably one of the most pleasant and sensible characters in the series, which might explain why he's yet to make an appearance. Very fond of breeding animals, especially horses.
*Garlan Tyrell ''The Gallant'': Second-born son. Badass extraordinaire considered one of the best swords in Westeros, and one of the few people kind to Tyrion. Trains for real combat (often against multiple opponents by himself) unlike Loras, who's a tourney fighter. Single-handed wrecks many notable knights fighting for Stannis during the War of The Five Kings. And he is the only person other than Tywin to put Joffrey in his place, at his own wedding. Sadly no POV chapter yet and omitted from the TV series (Loras takes credit for his deeds).
*Loras Tyrell ''The Knight of Flowers'': The Tyrell who appears most in the series. Considered to be an example of the perfect knight, despite his youth. Is secretly Renly's gay lover and conspired to take the throne with him and his sister. Last seen badly injured in the books attempting to take Stannis' castle. In the show he ends up tortured by the members of the Faith for being gay [[C.S Goto|because the showrunners retconned them to hate gay people]], [[Protectorate of Menoth|later joins their ranks of questionable willingness]] then dies when Cersei blows up the Sept of Baelor.
*Margaery Tyrell: The would-be Queen of Westeros, she has married, in order, Renly Baratheon (gay), Joffrey Baratheon (evil), and Tommen Baratheon (8 years old) and has been crowned as queen three times. While she is nice, she is capable of manipulation. In the show, she marries and uses sex to control Tommen. Was arrested by the resident Chamber Militant The Sparrow and asked for a trial by faith in the books. In the show, this also happens but she tries to be pious in an attempt to save herself but ended up getting killed when Cersei blew up the Sept of Baelor.
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===House Bolton===

''"Our Blades Are Sharp"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The Starks' most important (and most despised) vassal, a former arch-rival made of [[Grimdark]] because their entire theme [[Dark Eldar|revolves around Torture]]. Their sigil is a flayed man, their castle is [[Commorragh|a complex of eternal suffering called the Dreadfort]], and just look at their House motto... which shows how stupid the Starks were for allying with them.
*Roose Bolton, ''The 'Leech Lord'': A Lawful Evil sociopathic health nut who's called the Leech Lord because he gets leeched regularly, believing they get rid of bad blood. Second-most powerful Lord in the North with ambitions to depose the Starks. Since the Starks are unable to think like crafty people and are blinded by honour this doesn't prove too difficult. He gets his wish when he stabs Robb Stark in the back, at his uncle's wedding no less, and has anyone associated with Robb killed. He then makes over Winterfell in his bloody image and is currently trolling Stannis. Believes in the abolished practice of "[[Rape|Droit du seigneur]]" (a tradition that allowed a lord to have sex with subordinate women, whether they wanted to or not) and killed at least one man for trying to hide his wife from Roose (before fathering Ramsay with her via rape). Believed that he and his son could be as evil as they wanted as long as no one found out. Killed by Ramsey in the show, which Ramsay tried to cover with a lie despite the witnesses to his actions.
*Ramsay Snow/Bolton: The bastard son of Roose Bolton and a peasant woman he raped [[Grimdark|(under the hanging corpse of the woman's husband, for fuck's sake!)]]. One of the most fucked up people in all of the Seven Kingdoms (alongside the original Reek, the paedophile marauder Rorge and Euron), because he [[Dark Eldar|loves to torture and kill people openly for the lulz]], such as Theon Greyjoy, who he crippled, knocked his teeth out, castrated, and brainwashed into calling himself Reek; Reek was originally a peasant appointed to try and control a young Ramsay, but instead Ramsay warped him into a mentally unstable necrophiliac before killing Reek to fake his death, but Ramsay seemed to hold some twisted affection for him. He also sent Theon's severed appendage to Theon's dad in a cutesy box with a letter mockingly detailing his evilness. Will torture anyone who points out his illegitimate heritage though now he's legally recognized as a Bolton. Also has a pack of hunting dogs he names after women he hunts, rapes and kills. Married a fake Arya Stark and regularly mistreats her, including forced bestiality. Not a fun guy to be around. The only reason he's gotten away with it for so long (as pointed out by his father) is that no one is strong enough to stand up to him yet, but [[Powder Keg of Justice|when they are]] he's going to be killed. In the show, he killed his father with a knife, fed his stepmother and newborn half-brother to his dogs, then married Sansa Stark and deflowered her via rape. Ramsay was such a monster even Iwan Rheon, THE ACTOR WHO PLAYED THE GUY, hoped he'd die horribly. He got his wish: The consequences of Ramsay's actions catch up with him when Jon Snow shows up with an army capable of threatening him, and after surprise reinforcements from Littlefinger and his own fucked-up teamkilling, the Starks crush the Bolton army, forcing Ramsay to flee back to Winterfell. Despite this, the gate is smashed down, he is disarmed, beaten rather brutally and detained to await trial. Before the trial Sansa sets his dogs on him, which he had deliberately starved so they would eat Jon. Apparently they found him quite tasty.
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===House Martell===

''"Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Desert dwelling survivalists who pride themselves on having never been conquered by the Targaryen dynasty (though they later married in). Moorish Spaniards, kinda. [[C.S Goto|Their story arc was completely FUBAR in the show, as Elia and Oberyn's daughters kill Oberyn's brother and nephew for taking too long to avenge him before being captured and killed themselves by Euron and Cersei]].
*Doran Martell: Lord of Sunspear and of royal descent. Still mad at the Lannisters about that whole "murdered-my-sister-and-infant-niece thing". Playing the longest of long games with Varys while trying to keep the rest of his psychotic family members in check. Wheelchair-bound due to his gout. [[What|Killed off in the show by Ellaria as part of her plan to avenge Oberyn]].
*Arianne Martell: One of GRRM's characters who seems to exists solely to fuck everything up at the worst conceivable moment. Still hot as Dornish girls come. Exists only in the books, where she is currently helping her dad get ready to topple the Lannisters after fucking everything up with her own stupid plan to crown Myrcella, which is what got the poor girl maimed.
*Oberyn Martell ''The Viper of Dorne'': Doran Martell's brother, a bisexual swinger, former mercenary, and a drunkard. His girlfriend is a spectacularly beautiful bastard named Ellaria Sand and he has many illegitimate children, mostly daughters, collectively called "The Sand Snakes". Crippled the Tyrell heir in a fight, causing a rift between the two houses; despite this, he's actually best mates with the aforementioned heir, due to Willas Tyrell being straight up the nicest and most balanced man in the series and Oberyn being a somewhat decent person. Known for poisoning his weapons, as well as his battle-cry. Died from a mutual kill, with Gregor Clegane crushing his skull in rather graphically, avenging his sister Elia who Gregor had raped and murdered. Though it's probably a win for Oberyn, since he got Clegane with a horribly painful and slow-acting venom which stretched his death over days or even weeks, during which time he was ruthlessly experimented upon by a mad scientist.
*Quentyn Martell: Didn't realize he was in Dark Low Fantasy and thought he was in High Fantasy, poor bastard. A member of House Martell, sent to marry Daenerys to secure an alliance between the families since the original marriage plan to hook Arianne up with Viserys won't work with Viserys dead. Leaves Westeros and goes all the way to the city of Meereen to marry her, but he's too late, as she marries the Meereenese noble Hizdahr, and like Jorah he's not her type (Dany likes her bad boys). Tries to tame two of her dragons to impress her; the attempt goes wrong, he gets horribly burnt and gradually dies in agony from his wounds.
*The Sand Snakes: Oberyn's children. All daughters he had with various women throughout his travels (all consensual encounters, mind you). Mixed race and all hot with various skills including combat training and mastery of poisons. Working with Doran and Ellaria in the books. [[C.S Goto|Ruined in the show where they don't accomplish anything, are given atrocious dialogue (the "you need the bad pussy" line comes to mind), aren't great fighters]] and get killed by Euron's men, except for one who gets captured and poisoned by Cersei so an imprisoned Ellaria is forced to watch her die and decompose.</div></div>

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===House Frey===

''"We Stand Together"''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> House of weasels who are always grumpy and have a thing for overreacting to perceived slights. Wouldn't be that important except for the fact that they own the only bridge over a strategically important river, and regularly extort anyone attempting to cross it.

*Walder Frey: The ancient, terrible, ornery old man in charge of the Twins. Hates everyone for "looking down on him", and will readily betray an important ally for immediate gain, or if he feels he has been slighted in some minor way. His descendants are literally so numerous that no one except GRRM himself has been able to count them all, so we aren't even going to attempt it. Now dead in the show due to getting his throat slit by a vengeful Arya after she serves him two of his sons as meat pies. </div></div>

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'''Night's Watch'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The Night's Watch are an apolitical force in charge of manning The Wall, a giant ice wall that separates the relative tranquillity of the south from the Lovecraftian fucked-up-itude of the true north. They are chronically undermanned and undersupplied since nobody believes their stories of a barbarian army or the impending zombie apocalypse. Basically everybody else thinks they're in a game of [[Diplomacy]] and the Night's Watch are the only ones who realize they're actually in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]], though it's been so long since the last snow elf invasion that even they had forgotten about the undead hordes and focused too much on barbarians. They've allied with the Wildings and the North, but in the TV show, the Night's King used the undead dragon Viserion to burn a hole through The Wall.
*Jeor Mormont, ''The Old Bear'': 997th Lord Commander of the Night's Watch at the start of the series. Sees Jon Snow as something of a second son (since his own son Jorah was exiled for enslaving and refused to take the black for his crimes). Leads a ranging north of the Wall to investigate reports that the Others have returned. Ends up killed during a mutiny of survivors after the Others wiped out most of his force.
*Alliser Thorne: Prick of a knight who was favourite to be the next Watch Commander, but was passed over by Jon Snow. Unable to accept Jon Snow letting the Wildlings live on the other side of the wall in an alliance against the zombie hordes, he staged a coup against Jon. It failed because Jon was brought back to life. He is now dead in the show, having been executed for his treason by Jon Snow.
*Aemon Targaryen: Maester of the Citadel at Castle Black. Despite being the third born son of King Maekar I Targaryen, he declined the right to sit on the Iron Throne. One of the few people in the series to die of old age, at 102.
*Samwell Tarly, ''The Slayer'': Fat bookworm who was forced to take the black after his father Randyl threatened to murder him for being unmanly. Jon Snow's best friend among the Night's Watch, and knows everything because he "read it in a book". Despite being a self-professed coward, Sam became the first person in thousands of years to slay an Other with an obsidian dagger. George Martin himself said Sam's based on Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings. Since then, he has started improving his combat skills and balls (in more ways than one for the latter, finding his spine and losing his virginity). He abandons the Night's Watch to help fight the dead and tell Jon who he really is, and winds up becoming the new Grand Maester by the end of the show.
*Eddison Tollett, ''Dolorous Edd'': Probably the most badass member of the Night's Watch. Responds to situations by making sarcastic jokes about them, and known for being a grim motherfucker in a setting of grim motherfuckers. In the show he [[Awesome|became the new Lord Commander]] while Jon was dead, but gave the title back to Jon when he was brought back to life, and then Jon handed it right back because he needed to go sort out Ramsay Bolton. Dies in Season 8 at the Battle of Winterfell. </div></div>

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'''Wildlings'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Groups of nomadic hunter-gatherer tribes who live north of the Wall. Mostly First Men by blood, they have been heading toward the Wall for the past decade with the reputed reemergence of the Others. Nomadic, aggressive, and very much believing in "might makes right", they do not get along with anyone south of The Wall since they view them as "Kneeling weaklings". Basically every Celtic/Scandinavian/barbarian stereotype combined.
*Mance Rayder, ''The King Beyond The Wall'': A Wildling orphan who was taken in by the Night's Watch, he became their best Ranger before he deserted to join his people. He united the Wildlings and lead them south to escape the Others. Also a trained bard, but that was not enough to save him from death in the show while he's merely MIA in the books.
*Tormund Giantsbane: Claims to have a ten-inch penis, and invites his enemies to use their mouths if they want to clean it. Cool as fuck old guy who [[Furry|fucks mother-bears]] in his free time. Tough as nails motherfucker who preaches the merits of using one's cock for everything. He teams up with Jon Snow for the fight against the White Walkers, then fucks off back to the north once the Night King is dead, making him one of the most sensible people on the show. He and Jon go off to be bros at the end of the show.
*Ygritte: Wildling woman who Jon Snow ends up falling for and who returns his affections. Has red hair which is considered lucky among the Wildlings. This being ''A Song of Ice and Fire'', she ends up dying because her worldview is not compatible with Jon's.
*Craster: A sick bastard, formerly a member of the Night's Watch turned polygamous isolationist. By the way, [[Grimdark|his current wives are his many daughters and granddaughters who he fucks regularly to have more children. Girls grow up to become more wives, boys get sacrificed to the Others]]. This keeps the Others at bay - and is implied to be a way the Others reproduce themselves, and that sanctuary is why the Night's Watch barely tolerates him. Fortunately, he's been killed off in the story and his offspring go their separate ways.
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'''Commoners, Knights, and Petty Lords'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Basically any character not associated with any of the Great Houses.
* Varys, ''The Spider'': The eunuch spymaster of Westeros. You can't take a shit in the Seven Kingdoms without Varys finding out where, when, and how watery or dry it was. He does this through paid informants and his "little birds", a spy network of children who sneak through the castle's passageways and air flues to eavesdrop on everyone. Stabs everyone in the back because he's actually trying to bring the Targaryens back in order to strengthen the realm. Dead in the show, having decided to try and put Jon on the throne instead of Daenerys; Jon says no, Tyrion sells him out when he realizes Jon absolutely means it, and Dany has Drogon barbecue him.
* Petyr Baelish, ''Littlefinger'': The Master of Coin (the ASOIAF equivalent of a treasurer) and the closest person the Game of Thrones world has to a [[Daemon Prince]] of [[Tzeentch]], up to even declaring "[[Chaos]] is a Ladder". A dangerous manipulator who manages to trick and steal his way to positions of lordship and wealth because no one takes him seriously, and stabs all the Lannisters in the back when they become inconvenient. As a child, he wanted Catelyn Stark and was tricked into thinking she wanted him when her sister Lysa fucked him while he was drunk. Challenged Catelyn's betrothed Brandon Stark, Ned's older brother who was murdered by Aerys, for her hand in marriage and got his ass kicked because he was a small skinny boy and Brandon Stark was a big strapping man, making that his start of darkness. The guy responsible, directly or indirectly, for the War of the Five Kings because he was the mastermind behind poisoning Jon Arryn, the capture and execution of Ned Stark, feeding several half-truths to Catelyn to motivate her to arrest Tyrion, and eventually Joffrey's death by having Dontos and Olenna Tyrell carry out the plan to kill Joffrey and letting Tyrion take the fall; but no one in the story knows this, not even Varys. People think he can pull gold out of thin air, but he's really been buying debt while letting Robert Baratheon's extravagances and Joffrey and Cersei's dipshittery pull the country into a serious debt of its own. So he's pledged himself to [[Chaos]] and destroying Westeros all because he couldn't have Catelyn as his girlfriend, though he changed his focus to her daughter Sansa now, making him a paedophile. Hasn't yet got his comeuppance in the books, but is currently dead in the show after he was out-gambitted by Sansa and killed by Arya. According to GRRM, he's based on the title character from the Great Gatsby.
*Gregor Clegane, ''The Mountain'': A 7' 8" 400 pound mass of [[Khorne|testosterone, muscles, steroid overdose and murderous RAGE]], Gregor is Tywin Lannister's top muscle. Killed his own father and sister and permanently scarred his brother. Hobbies include rape, arson, murder, and random torture; he's also been married a few times but not now with the implication he kept killing his wives. He played an important part in destroying the Targaryens by killing a couple of Rhaegar's kids in rather brutal fashion, then raping and murdering his wife. Spends a few novels doing Tywin's dirty work before a Trial by Champion leads to him dying after being poisoned by Oberyn Martell. Qyburn later resurrected him as... something... called "Ser Robert Strong", and is now even stronger, less prone to psychotic rages, and is completely obedient. He's based on accounts of French knight Gilles de Rais and maybe also the scriptural giant Goliath. Tortures Cersei's nun jailer to death in a brutal and unspecified fashion kills Qyburn during the Siege of King's Landing and then nearly kills his little brother, only for Sandor to tackle him through a collapsing wall and into a gigantic inferno that claims both.
* Sandor Clegane, ''The Hound'': Younger brother to Gregor Clegane, called the Hound because of his hound-face helm, his family's heraldry, and being the king's hired muscle without being a knight. He hates knights due to the hypocrisy of being a professional "noble warrior" but mostly since his monstrous brother is a knight, showing it's not so much of a noble promotion. Terrified of fire after Gregor put his head against a brazier for playing with one of Gregor's old toys when they were children, burning half his face, but he's still the second-strongest person in Westeros. A brutal anti-hero with a soft spot for Sansa, but a better person than his brother. After falling sick from Biter's nasty teeth, he ends up being a silent monk burying people in the Silent Isles. In the show, he joins the Brotherhood without Banners and goes north to help fuck up the White Walkers. As of Season 8, he's survived the Battle of Winterfell and is riding south with Arya to put the boots to Gregor. Dies killing his now undead brother in a pretty epic fight amidst the crumbling ruins of the Red Keep.
*Grand Maester Pycelle: A shrewd, dangerous man putting on a "harmless old man act" and a high ranking scholar from the science/medical guild the Maesters. The longest-serving member of the King's advisory staff, and is actually Tywin Lannister's biggest lackey. He convinced the Mad King to let Tywin in as Baratheon's armies were marching on the capital, where Tywin proceeded to sack the city and claim it for Robert. Gets his head bashed in by Varys in the books and murdered by Qyburn in the show.
* Qyburn: Formerly a maester, who was kicked out of the order for unethical experiments on the living (taking people and performing vivisections to be precise). Introduced as a part of a mercenary company serving Roose Bolton, which should be a red flag. He moves up in the world when he's sent to escort Brienne and Jaime back to King's Landing and ends with Cersei employing him to replace Pycelle as "science advisor" and eventually Varys's Spymaster. Serves Cersei loyally as long as she lets him indulge his sick experiments, serving as a black magic variety of the court mage. He has resurrected Gregor Clegane as... something. [[Fabius Bile]] if he traded his robot limbs, eugenics and power armour for necromancy. He overestimated his hold on Gregor and got his head caved in for it as of the second-to-last episode of the show.
*Barristan Selmy, ''The Bold'': Knight of the Kingsguard. Which Kingsguard? Take your pick. He's served pretty much every king since Aerys and understandably feels pretty bad about it. Another sad old man who pretty much just wants to die until he decides to go pledge his services to Daenerys. Even in his old age, he is considered one of the most dangerous men in Westeros. [[Fail|Dead in the show]] (to be fair they gave him a huge last stand), but [[Awesome|alive]] and [[Roboute Guilliman|appointed himself Daenerys' steward in her absence to try and fix Meereen's situation in the books]].
*Melisandre, ''The Red Witch'': A priestess of R'hllor, the god of fire. Proclaimed Stannis to be the messiah-king and is doing everything in her power to make sure he wins (considerable given that she can scry, make shadow baby assassins and set things on fire with her mind). She'd be pretty bro-tier if her god wasn't so vicious. As it stands she's kind of in the grey (in the books, the show seems to zig-zag on her being evil 'cos the showrunners seem to hate religion). Most of the people she set on fire deserved it, and she hasn't ''succeeded'' in killing any babies yet. Show version now dead from suicide via rapid ageing after ensuring the Living defeat the Dead.
*Jorah Mormont: A knight and son of Jeor Mormont, exiled for trying to sell poachers into slavery and eventually joining the exiles of House Targaryen. He is offered a pardon in exchange for spying on the Targaryens but ultimately decides to stay with them after falling in love with Daenerys. Unfortunately, he gets friend-zoned hard. Despite saving her life from an assassin while she was pregnant, she still votes him off the Khalassar after learning he was a spy. He still loves her and follows her in secret, though. In the show, he goes on a quest to prove himself to her and contracts the dangerous disease Greyscale (it's like the unholy lovechild of smallpox and leprosy), but he gets cured and is now back at her side. He dies protecting her at the Battle of Winterfell.
*Davos Seaworth, ''The Onion Knight'': A former smuggler and bannerman to House Baratheon. During Roberts Rebellion he ran a blockade with a cargo of contraband onions to a castle Stannis Baratheon was besieged in. In exchange for the food he had, Stannis knighted Davos, but Stannis's law-worshipping mindset compelled him to remove four digits from his left hand. Despite this, Davos has served Stannis with unquestioning loyalty, because Stannis knighting him gave his children a future. The fact that Stannis's war for the throne has ended up killing several of his sons hasn't dented his loyalty at all. Doesn't like Melisandre because he sees her as a user and her beliefs as brutal. He's a devout follower of the Faith of the Seven in the books and the first season of the show [[C.S Goto|but is clumsily retconned into an anti-religious atheist in later show seasons]]. In the show, he's now pledged to DA NORF and is basically Jon's Hand of the King, except he doesn't get a fancy pin. He survives the Battle of Winterfell and the Second Sack of King's Landing and becomes Master of Ships in the final episode of the show.
*Shae: A former camp follower and Tyrion Lannister's squeeze for most of the story. Fled from an abusive family and became a camp follower to earn a living. Seems to fall in love with Tyrion, but it turns out she's a gold-digging bitch. When Tyrion doesn't marry Shae she sells him out to Cersei for a better offer, then fucks Tywin when she realizes Cersei won't keep her promise. Tyrion found her in his father's bed and strangled her to death with a necklace for betraying him. The discovery of Shae's corpse in Tywin's bed - posthumously outing him as a whoremonger - upsets Cersei to the point she unpersons Shae.
*Bronn: A mercenary who acts as Tyrion's enforcer and personal killer until Cersei outbids him and he settles down with a little wife and title. Routinely kills knights by exploiting how arrogant and stupid they are even after becoming one himself. Only in it for the money, which he'll happily tell you himself. The only character other than Littlefinger to end every book in a better position than he started it. In the show, he makes the very sensible decision to sit out the fighting and wait for his promised castle (Riverrun if Cersei wins, Highgarden if Daenerys wins). He gets Highgarden and is named Lord Paramount of the Reach and Master of Coin in the final episode.
* Brienne of Tarth, ''The Beauty'': Surprisingly badass lady knight wannabe (since no women can be knighted), legendarily unattractive but still pretty idealistic despite the shit she gets for her looks. Fate frequently gives her the shit end of the stick, because no matter how hard she tries to finish her quests, she ends up failing or stuff happens that makes it impossible. Secretly crushes on Renly and unaware he's gay. After he dies, Brienne switches her loyalty to Catelyn and helps her bring Jaime to King's Landing as Tyrion promised Sansa's return in exchange for Jaime. She later developed a crush on Jaime. Things don't go well because Jaime lost his hand and the Red Wedding happened. Next, Jaime sends her out to find and keep Sansa safe to make good on Tyrion's promise, since he isn't the complete dick everyone thinks he is. Brienne ends up getting captured by Cat, now known as Lady Stoneheart and an insane undead, who was going to hang Brienne for working with Jaime. Brienne was spared at the last moment to capture/manipulate Jaime. In the show, she's now sworn to House Stark and gets knighted by Jaime just before the Battle of Winterfell and then she and Jaime hook up afterwards, only for him to take off and break her heart. She is now Lady Commander of the Kingsguard as of the final episode.
* Lyanna Mormont: A badass ten-year-old girl who inherits Bear Island after her mother and older sister die horribly in the Riverlands - at least if we are going by the show; in the book, her mother is still alive somewhere in the Neck and her older sister Alysanne is the de-facto head of House Mormont. Her activities include pimp-slapping bitches, leading men twice as old as her, and being completely loyal to the Starks despite all their misfortunes. [[Awesome|"Bear Island knows no king but the King in the North, whose name is STARK."]] She dies killing an undead giant at the Battle of Winterfell, which is pretty badass.
* Wyman Manderly, ''Lord Too-Fat-To-Sit-A-Horse'': The Lord of White Harbour and one of the few Northerners who worship the Seven. Fervently loyal to House Stark, he pays lip-service to the Iron Throne long enough for his eldest son to return home, all to mask a plan to restore the Starks to power, mostly by destabilising the Frey-Bolton alliance, building a navy, marshalling the forces of the lands east of the White Knife river, "losing" Freys in the wilderness and sending Lord Davos Seaworth to rescue Rickon Stark from Skagos. His favourite food is lamprey, although he has also developed a taste for Frey Pie. Also a remarkably graceful dancer, and can survive taking a knife to the throat.
** Wylla Manderly: Granddaughter to the above. Another badass little girl, her activities include openly declaring undying loyalty to House Stark and dying her hair green. She and Lyanna Mormont would probably be best friends if they met. [[Awesome|"The city is built upon the land [the Starks] gave us. In return, we swore that we should always be their men. Stark men!"]]
* Jon Umber, ''The Greatjon'': At first he seems to be your stereotypical, boisterous Northern Lord. However, he becomes one of Robb's most loyal supporters, being first to declare him as 'King in the North' after Ned's execution. Had his moment of awesome [[Awesome|when he killed and wounded four Freys at the Red Wedding, all the while being drunk and needing eight additional men to take him down.]]
* Beric Dondarrion, ''The Lightning Lord'': Minor lord who agreed to head an expedition to take out Gregor Clegane. This being Game of Thrones, however, his party is ambushed by the Mountain and is beaten rather badly, and he loses his life in the process. Thanks to his drunken Red Priest friend, however, he manages to come back not once, but eight times, and each time he comes back, he becomes more powerful, though at the cost of his memory. He now heads an outlaw faction of grimdark Robin Hood types called "The Brotherhood Without Banners", who are dedicated to punishing those who abuse and mistreat the smallfolk. Ironically, he's one of the few book characters to have died (permanently) in the books but remain alive in the show, except now he's dead for real as of the Battle of Winterfell.
* Thoros of Myr: Aforementioned drunken priest who is dedicated to R'hllor, though at first he doesn't really give a rat's ass about the Red God, as he prefers to party it up with wine and women, but after he 'accidentally' resurrects Beric, he becomes quite serious about his religion and vows to curb his excesses in drinking. Dies on a mission beyond the Wall to capture a wight (show-version).
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'''The Free Cities'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Nine city-states to the West of Westeros, for the most part, the old colonies of the Valaryian Freehold. Mostly they are ruled by Merchant Princes. They look down on the Westerosi for being a bunch of up jumped backwards war-mongering morons who are only a few silverware sets and maesters away from absolute barbarism. In turn, the Westerosi look down on the Free Cities as being money-grubbing effete cowards ruled by cheesemongers who use bribery, tall walls and dirty tricks to get ahead in the world.

* Illyrio Mopatis: A rich fat bastard and a Magister of Pentos. Old buddies with Varys and a bigtime schemer.
* [[Officio Assassinorum|The Faceless Men]]: A cult of shape-shifting assassins who worship The Many-Faced God of death based in the free city of Braavos that give up personal identity. They claim descent from escaped Valyrian slaves who considered death to be a better fate than perpetual slavery. Their mission hence became being servants of the Many-Faced God of Death. You can hire them to off your rivals, but they request a steep and equivalent price. Their motto is "Valar Morghulis": All Men Must Die.
* Xaro Xhoan Daxos: One of the thirteen leaders of the city of Qarth. A flamboyant, languid, bald rich man who looks after Daenerys while she stays in Qarth and gives her many gifts. He wants her dragons as much as anyone else and even tries to marry her despite his homosexual tendencies. He stops wanting the dragons later in the book series after seeing [[RIP AND TEAR|their work in Astapor]], and no longer wants her around as her anti-slavery stance is hampering his wealth, so he offers Daenerys ships to leave the area and declares war on her when she refuses. In the show, he's heterosexual, helps steal her dragons, fucks one of her handmaidens and gets locked in a vault for conspiring to have her killed. He's also black and fat in the show when he's white and lanky in the books, being Qartheen and all.
* Syrio Forel: The former First Sword of Braavos (aka the ruler's personal bodyguard) and later Arya's mentor in King's Landing. He teaches her the way of Braavosi fencing, called "Water Dancing", and sacrifices himself to save her from Lannister thugs, taking down at least six of them with a wooden sword. May have inadvertently set her on the path of becoming a badass assassin by telling her of his belief in the God of Death.

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'''The Dothraki'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Horse people who live in a country of endless grass plains referred to by others as the Dothraki sea. They only have one city, called Vaes Dothrak, which is less of a city and more of a place they all meet when important things have to be discussed. Have traits borrowed from several cultures, including Mongols and Native Americans, all filtered through European misconceptions of those cultures of course, such as the Dothraki's antipathy for heavy armour, despite the fact that the Mongols were very heavily armoured and also excelled as infantry, see the Battle of Leignitz. They fear the ocean because of its size and the fact that horses won't drink from it, calling it the "poison water".

* Khal Drogo: An Expy of <s>Genghis Khan</s> Yesukhei Baatyr (his son would have been the equivalent to Chinggis Khaan). Leads the largest Khalassar among the Dothraki. Despite being a barbarian warlord, Drogo is surprisingly intelligent and treats Daenerys well. After an assassin tries to kill her he promises to conquer Westeros for her and their unborn son and immediately starts raiding towns for slaves and ships. At one town he gets cut in a leadership challenge and Daenerys gets a captive wise woman to heal him. However, the woman hates him because his tribe destroyed her hometown, raped/slaughtered or enslaved her friends and raped her three times so she curses him to become catatonic (along with killing his unborn son), leading a devastated Daenerys to perform an arguable mercy kill by smothering him with a pillow. After she burns herself, her stillborn child and the wise woman on his funeral pyre, Daenerys survives and it brings her dragons to life. GRRM named Drogo after [[The Lord of the Rings|Frodo's father]].
* Daenerys' handmaidens.
** Doreah: Daenerys' handmaiden and a wedding gift from Illyrio. A woman from Lysene brought by her brother to teach her how to pleasure a man. In the book she dies of fever and starvation crossing a desert, in the TV show, she betrays Daenerys for [[Salamanders|Xaro's BBC]] and gets locked in a vault to starve to death.
** Irri: Daenerys' handmaiden who teaches Daenerys how to ride a horse. [[PROMOTIONS|Also pleasures Daenerys twice after catching her masturbating once]], yet this canonical girl-on-girl action was left out of the show. The character was even killed off there when she survived in the books, but in this case, it was because her actress' visa had expired rather than [[C.S. Goto|author railroading]].
** Jhiqui: Daenerys' handmaiden who teaches her the Dothraki language and squabbles with Irri over wanting one of Daenerys' bodyguards when he becomes a badass. Also dies in the TV show while staying alive so far in the books.

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'''Slavers Bay'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">A civilization of [[Stupid Evil]] slavers. The remains of a previous civilization that was once the big powerful empire thanks to having phalanxes of obedient, pain-resistant soldiers which Valyria conquered a long while ago because phalanxes don't do too well against motherfucking dragons. They are ruled by wealthy slave mongers who buy slaves, train them up to do specific things and generally are a bunch of stuck up, decadent, puppy-eating (literally) assholes. Basically a civilization so repugnant even most hippies will be cheering when Dany decides to conquer them.

* The Unsullied: Eunuch phalanx fighting slave soldiers trained the Spartan way to produce totally obedient infantry that never break ranks. They also don't feel pain due to drinking a special drink daily, and each one has to take a new name from the name box each day so they can't develop a sense of identity. At least until Dany "bought" the lot of them, had them sack the city which trained them, and freed them.
* Grey Worm: The Unsullied Commander and a no-nonsense badass. When given a chance to take a new name he keeps his slave name because it's the name he had when freed so he considers it lucky. He is completely loyal to Daenerys, considering her his saviour, and in the show, he falls in love with fellow freed-woman, Missandei. This being ASOIAF, however, he can only watch helplessly as his lover is beheaded in front of him by the Mountain. This drives him into a rage, and he eagerly takes part in the sacking of King's Landing in revenge for her death. After the war is over and both Daenerys and Cersei are dead, he takes the Unsullied forces to Naath, in order to fulfil his promise to Missandei that he'd protect her homeland.
* Strong Belwas: A fat but skilled eunuch gladiator. Loves liver and onions and referring to himself in the third person. Travelling companion/guide of Ser Barristan. Has an awesome scene where he beats the champion of Meereen then mocks the Meereenese by taking a shit in their direction and wiping his ass on their dead champion's cloak. Also saves Daenerys from eating poisoned sweets. [[FAIL|Left out of the show]].
* Daario Naharis: A Tyroshi mercenary captain who dyes his hair blue. Betrays his fellow commanders for Daenerys because he loves her as a queen. Fortunately for him, Daenerys loves him back and they pursue a romance for a time, though she doesn't marry him as she's still otherwise smart enough to know she has to save herself for a political marriage. Goes to Yunkai as a hostage in the war on Meereen. Also potentially a shapeshifter, if the show is to be believed.
*Missandei: A young female slave with a remarkable talent for linguistics and one of the more empathetic people in this dark world, Missandei is freed by Daenerys during her campaign to liberate Slaver's Bay, eventually becoming one of her closest confidants and advisers. While a child in the books, in the show Missandei is a grown woman, falls in love with the Unsullied leader Grey Worm, but later is captured by Cersei and beheaded by the zombified Mountain in front of all her friends, but not before telling her friends to burn the Lannisters to ashes.

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'''The Others'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">A mysterious race from beyond the Wall, known to [[newfag|HBO fans]] as "the White Walkers". Can be described as ice demons/snow elves with necromancy. Eight thousand years ago, they invaded Westeros during a decades-long winter known as "the Long Night". With an army of undead warriors, they proceeded to fuck Westeros up every which way to [[Sunday]] before the locals finally drove them out, established the Night's Watch, and built the Wall to keep them out. Like all fantasy aspects of ASOIAF, they are very cliched. In the TV series, it's revealed that they were created from human captives by "The Children", the pseudo-[[Elf]] fair folk race that lived in Westeros before humanity arrived, as an attempt to create a super-weapon. The idea was since humanity bred faster than the Children could keep up with, they would create icy [[lich]]-creatures that could create [[undead]] soldiers, and these would then wipe out all human life. Instead, it went disastrously wrong because it turned out that the Children actually couldn't control what they'd created, so the Others [[Ork|just want to exterminate '''all''' life.]]
* Night's King: A long time ago, when the Night's Watch was just barely getting set up, its Lord Commander, the thirteenth in line, decided to climb over the Wall and explore some. While in the woods to the north of the Wall, he found a beautiful [[Monstergirls|Other female]]. He fell in love with her, had [[/d/|sex with her on top of the Wall]], which somehow changed him into an albino version of [[Star Wars|Darth Maul]], and set himself up as King of the Wall, making everyone in the Watch his slaves and sacrificial fodder. Naturally, this didn't sit too well with the Starks and the Wildlings, and so they banded together to free the Watch and kick his ass, which they managed to do successfully. Now everyone thinks him as dead or a myth. In the HBO version of the story, this whole backstory is basically dropped; he was the very first White Walker ever created by the Children, and he decided to get back at them by wiping out all life. Also, whilst he was apparently beaten in the ancient past and sealed away behind the Wall, he's still "alive" and well, [[Daemonculaba|turning infant human boys into new White Walkers]]. Also, he can apparently raise up entire legions of undead, just by raising his arms and looking completely smug about it; unlike regular Others, who can just raise up maybe a village at most. Given that he's the resident [[BBEG|Dark Lord]] of the series, it makes sense that he can take down a dragon with seemingly little effort (a simple throw of his spear), and resurrect it to be his personal steed a la Arthas. Used it to blow a hole in the Wall and begin [[The End Times]] for Westeros. Now dead thanks to Arya's magic ninja haxx letting her kill the BBEG and his entire race and army of zombies in one blow.
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'''Gods and their followers'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> The world of ASOIAF has various religions and faiths abound, just like in real life. Similarly, they range between fucking awesome to utterly useless.

*[[Ecclesiarchy|The Faith of the Seven]]: The Catholic Church stand-in, which gets both sympathetic (books only) and unsympathetic (books and show) characters associated with it. Holds an anti-slavery stance. The god/s are considered seven aspects of one deity with three male aspects (The Smith, the Father, the Warrior), three female aspects (The Maiden, the Mother, the Crone) and an asexual one representing Death. The places of worship are called Septs, and their system includes Septons, nun-equivalents called Septas and a Pope equivalent called a High Septon. The High Septons all give up their names when they become one to confuse future historians.
** High Septon 1: A fat, greedy man who used the position for personal gain. He ended up being [[Grimdark|torn apart in a riot]], because the people resented that he had enough food to stay fat while they were starving.
** High Septon 2: Successor of High Septon 1. Chosen by Tyrion so the Faith would be loyal to the Lannisters. Only ''slightly'' corrupt, being a pro-Lannister yes-man. Murdered on Cersei's order in the book, while in the show he's retconned into a whoremonger who gets deposed by the Sparrows (see below).
** High Septon 3/The High Sparrow: Successor of High Septon 2. After the second High Septon died, the smallfolk burst into the meeting to pick a successor and ordered their chosen candidate to be put in charge when his original successor was caught whoremongering. He'd been a wandering preacher beforehand, and his feet were dark and gnarled from lots of walking. When he reaches the position he starts [[gets shit done|getting things done]]. Since he was appointed by a smallfolk religious movement called Sparrows, he's given the moniker "The High Sparrow". The nobility underestimates him, either due to having other matters or disregard for religious people, but he turns out to be smart, well-meaning and somewhat ruthless. Under the High Sparrow, he and the other clergymen sell their fancy clothes and decorations [[Noblebright|replacing them with simple wool tunics, using the money to buy food and clothes for the poor in King's Landing]]. He also has their Knights-Templar-equivalent reformed to [[Inquisition|protect the faithful and help them root out]] [[heresy]] and sin. He also outwits Cersei and has her arrested and tried for all her evil deeds. While Cersei's scheming does lead to Margaery's arrest, Cersei confesses to some crimes while concealing others, leading to Cersei taking a nude walk of penance in front of the entire city. After this, he somewhat reined in the nobles' politicking to actually look after the commoners and the Faith, though this does make some enemies. In the show, he and the Sparrows are [[C.S Goto|retconned]] from assorted smallfolk and clergymen tired of the nobles' lawlessness and power plays into one-dimensional stereotypes and thinly-veiled jabs at the Catholic Church [[Imperial Truth|in a shoe-horned anti-religion message]]. While they do arrest Cersei and Margaery like in the books, during the trial most of the Faith, including the High Sparrow himself, get blown to kingdom come when Cersei has her agents ignite a massive amount of magical napalm underneath the Great Sept.
* [[Old Ones|Old Gods]]: Native American/Japanese Kame/Druid/nature spirits that reside in places called Godswoods. Their powers are limited to the North, where the last remaining Godswoods remain, but they can grant gifted individuals awesome psychic powers like Warging (mind-controlling animals) and Greensight (Time Travel). For some reason, Martin claims they're based off the Norse Gods. Probably has to do with the way the Vikings made sacrifices to their gods, by hanging them in Ash trees, a symbol for the World Tree Yggdrasil. The Weirwood trees are sacred to the followers of the Old Gods in a similar way. Mostly worship of them is quiet and informal.
* R'hllor: The God of Fire and Light, and like the Old Gods, actually shows evidence for existing. [[/tg/ gets shit done|He gets shit done]] such as fire magic and Resurrection. Has a nasty habit for burning heretics, though. GRRM said this faith is roughly based (read: poorly modelled after) upon Zoroastrianism and Gnosticism. His nemesis is The Great Other: the god of cold and darkness, the leader of the Others, and prophesied to be defeated by the chosen one, or messianic figure: [[Star Child|Azor Ahai/The Prince That Was Promised]], a figure who is the prophesied warrior that will fight with the Great Other/Night's King during the Apocalypse. Interestingly enough, the prophecy may not refer to a single person, but three (Jon, Tyrion/Bran, and Daenerys). Supposedly, one of these three will also receive an [[Emperor's Sword|awesome flaming sword called "Lightbringer"]].
* Him of Many Faces: The god of the Dead of the religion whose followers are the [[Officio Assassinorum|Faceless Men]]. According to his cult of assassins, whom Arya joins, every other god is him in a different form and he requires his assassins to utterly forget their past identities in service to him. Has a heyday during the Battle of King's Landing and the Red Wedding. His followers are granted shapeshifting abilities and powers to be the ultimate assassins.
* Drowned God: Cthulhu combined with Odin. Runs an underwater Valhalla were all Ironborn go whey they either if they drowned at sea, the men die a manly death or the women die in childbirth.

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==The appeal of A Song of Ice And Fire==
Exactly what catches the eyes of [[Skub|a given fan/critic/lout who complains about how bad it is anytime the show is mentioned within earshot]] to ASOIAF and its TV adaptation varies from individual to individual. Still, there's a couple of major draws.

'''The Worldbuilding:''' The main reason why this series gets compared to [[The Lord of the Rings]], ASOIAF is literally ''drowning'' under the weight of its worldbuilding, being crammed as full of facts about fictitious regions, histories, cultures, dynasties and races as GRRM can fit it. Your mileage will vary on how ''good'' that info is, but there's plenty of info in it.

'''Mainstream [[Dark Fantasy]]:''' Dark Fantasy is not exactly a mainstream niche. ASOIAF stands out by deliberately trying to market itself to the mainstream, despite embracing an abundance of dark fantasy tropes; gratuitous violence, sexuality and sexual violence, moral ambiguity, political intrigue, and a willingness to suddenly kill off any character, even the most likeable or heroic of them.

'''[[Low Fantasy]]:''' On the surface, ASOIAF is an old-school Low Fantasy setting, being a medieval-tech world with the story openly focused on the mundane lives of people struggling for political power and though supernatural elements do exist, they tend to be used sparingly.

'''[[High Fantasy]]:''' But if you scratch the surface, ASOIAF is also a High Fantasy setting, which is always the more marketable of the two, with the big backstory about how the world is facing impending doom from an army of wintery [[fey]] and their [[undead]] minions. There are also non-evil higher powers working against them, but they get swept under the rug in the show. Also, [[dragon]]s. As the more marketable genre, it's also inevitably the more skubby one, for whatever that's worth.

'''[[Magical Realm|Gratuitous Sexuality]]:''' More a thing for the TV show than the book; the frequent scenes of nudity and sex in the early seasons were a ''big'' selling point for many people (the casting of people from the sex industry for some of these scenes also helped).

'''Not much in terms of generic fantasy tropes:''' Hate how almost every fantasy just has to have things popularized by Tolkien such as elves, dwarves, orcs and all that stuff? You're in luck because ASOIAF features none of them. It does have [[dragon]]s and [[undead]] though so if you hate them too, well...

==Oh Yeah, About The TV Show==
[[image:KnightsWhoSayFuck.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Yeah, pretty much.]]
After the first three books became hits, many Hollywood producers and directors had come to the sadistic neckbeard, asking him about making a movie adaptation. At first, he was reluctant, at best, due to the fact that a whole lot of his content would've been cut out to be fit into a movie trilogy (see the Lord of the Rings live-action films). Then, a couple of dudes, David Benioff and D.B/Daniel Brett Weiss (AKA D&D, or more accurately as of the final season, Dumb & Dumber), decided to contact him and asked him at a local restaurant about turning ASOIAF into a Television show produced by HBO, the top-rated soft-core porno channel. The story goes that George, before giving them his consent, asks them a very specific question (Who is Jon Snow's mother?). Satisfied with the response they gave, he gave them permission to start work on the show, which would be titled after the first book, ''Game of Thrones''. They would later go on to prove that this is not a good way of choosing who should adapt your work.

The television show casts several well-known performers, such as Sean Bean as Eddard, Peter Dinklage as Tyrion, Lena Headey as Cersei, and Charles Dance as Tywin. They have also cast some comparatively less well-known actors and even ones new to cinema, such as Sophie Turner (Sansa), Maisie Williams (Arya), Kit Harington (Jon), Iwan Rheon (Ramsay), Alfie Allen (Theon), and Richard Madden (Robb).

'''TL;DR'''

[[GM|Producers Dumb&Dumber-style change characters and railroad the plot at a whim,]] [[/d/M|the tits and ultraviolence spigot is opened even wider than the books,]] and most scenes are made for the actors to show off their skills at making their signature angry/murder/brooding/etc. faces.

Thus, book snobs seem to think that every episode post-season 3 is nothing more than Emmy-bait. Regardless of the fact Kit Harington still [[Fail|doesn't have an Emmy]], there's a valid contention in that regard, with the number of liberties taken overshadowing the initial appeal.

The final season was eventually revealed to be such a train wreck because Dumb & Dumber did not want to work on the series anymore and had let the success with the earlier seasons go to their heads. In their arrogance, instead of handing the reins to someone else, they decided to plan out their own ending and use it as an audition to Disney so they could write for Star Wars. By then, they'd run out of books to adapt, there was no superior writing for them to leech off of and there was no one to gainsay them in their echo chamber of a writer's room (even George himself was cut out). The result was absolutely shit writing that caused a glorious breakage in the [[skub]] dam that left [[Butthurt|many a fan's anus weeping]] (provided they weren't early seasons fans, book series fans, or any of the other assorted onlookers [[Lulz|taking part in the mightiest of keks]]) and, if anything proved <s>George's </s> Ramsay's quote at the beginning of the article true. Goddamn Dumb & Dumber, could you talentless faggots do any worse if you tried? Luckily, comeuppance came after them and Disney, having some sense, told them to fuck off with their Star Wars ideas after the backlash towards the final season.

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'''What about the final season?'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">
Long story short, the Army of the Dead is destroyed in an epic battle, where the ancient and super-powerful BBEG gets killed by some sleight-of-hand. Meanwhile, Daenerys has spent the last two seasons being stripped of her plot armour; she's lost most of her supporters - including one of her dragons - and has been forced to confront the fact that nobody in Westeros wants her around. Especially not the Northerners, where Sansa is basically playing the "Northern Independence Now!" movement to try and get her own bum in a throne after seven seasons of being a plaything for people with actual power. The kicker is she's fallen in love with Jon Snow, but he learns he's actually her nephew - and the fruit of a legitimate marriage between her elder brother Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark that was handled in secret. This discovery not only caused him to back away from her (because he's got Northerner values, so fucking his aunt squicks him out... not that it stopped him from doing it at least once), but also makes him a threat to her political standing, which is something Varys makes plans to exploit. When Tyrion found out Jon wouldn't back down, he told Danerys about it, for which she had Drogon burn Varys to ash. When she forces the survivors of the final battle to march on King's Landing, another of her dragons ends up dead and her only remaining friend captured and executed by Cersei. So she attacks King's Landing... and then, when her followers manoeuvre around her to get the city to surrender rather than die to the last, she snaps and burns most of the city to ashes. She then decides to continue ramming her head against the proverbial wall and embraces her personal narrative of herself as a divinely chosen hero-queen meant to "free" the world by conquering everybody, having lost interesting in just ruling Westeros around the same time she lost her fucking mind. Such is her insanity that Jon Snow ends up sticking a dagger in her heart rather than let her kill Sansa and Arya, who he knows will resist her.

Jon proceeds to somehow not get killed by her last surviving dragon who pretty much knows Jon killed his momma because plot reasons, and it destroys the Iron Throne ([[What|by accident, according to the showrunners]]) while chucking a tantrum over Dany's death before grabbing her body and flying off to parts unknown. This leaves everybody stuck trying to figure out what to do, [[The Empire (Warhammer Fantasy)|but ultimately they decide to replace a dynastic monarchy with an elective one]], and make Bran the new king because, hey, he's the 3-Eyed Raven and has the seer powers to see all of space and time, so he's the least worst option they have (he's also trying to find and take control of the aforementioned dragon). The North secedes from the Seven Kingdoms, but nobody gives a damn, and Jon Snow is formally banished to the Wall - where instead he wanders off into the wilderness with the surviving Wildlings, with the land showing signs of exiting its endless winter. [[The Lord of the Rings|Arya runs off to sail to the West,]] and Sansa is crowned Queen in the North.

</div></div>

==GRRM and [[Your Dudes]]==
Want to make your own ASoIF setting for a role-playing game? Well, readers have enough room to fantasize about their own minor noble House (or kingdom during the Age of the Hundred Kingdoms).

A good example of what you could do is the House from the old [[/v/|"Telltale Game of Thrones"]], House Forrester. Their relationship to the canon is as follows:

House Forrester (lords of someplace in the Wolfswood) '''-> is sworn to ->''' House Glover (overall lords of the entire Wolfswood) '''-> is sworn to ->''' House Stark (rulers of the North).

There's also an actual tie-in tabletop RPG now, which uses its own system and looks kind of like [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]] with a heavy helping of resource-management strategy feel.
Players are assuming the role of a minor House to guide to glory, or, more accurately given the setting we're in, NOT to ruin utterly in a season or two, which would still be more than many A-list players mustered in canon. Each PC has a specific position within said House, and only the role of official Head is mandatory; the rest could be wife/children/brothers and sisters/all other kinds of siblings, bastards (with rules for obtaining the legitimate recognition), maesters, sworn/subservient knights, or most of anybody else. This naturally opens up near-infinite possibilities for families screwed up seven ways to high heavens, which would make Lannister's brand of infighting-slash-inbreeding look as sane as the High Septon.

The setting is also ill-suited for "adventures in Westeros" style of gaming for two reasons:
#In the grim darkness of low fantasy, a roaming nobody with no banner to talk about, no House allegiance, no nothing isn't generally treated to a Tavern With Quest Givers, but rather more to a Tavern Where You Are Shanked For Your Sword And Boots And Dumped At The Nearest Forest. Heck, even the big wheelers and dealers are routinely seen invited to the latter when they are slow to properly introduce themselves.
#Working on your initially-puny House will quite realistically involve thy neighbours first and foremost, then liege lords from the higher House yours is sworn to, and on occasion shopping around for an advantageous marriage - there simply ain't gonna be that much spare time to "travel to see places". Both of these are also why tourism wasn't a very popular pastime in medieval Europe and why those who were "living on the road" usually enjoyed the lowest social standing.

A note to aspiring Lords: do NOT, under any circumstances, allow your "combat-optimized" siblings an unsupervised minute in a social setting. Game's "social combat" system is a thing more brutal than the physical one, and it takes a socially-optimized character all of a few minutes to mindfuck one who is not (read: everyone but dedicated diplomats and Heads of the Houses, and not every one of the latter, to boot, as illustrated by several amazing boneheads in canon) into believing pretty much anything short of Grumpkins and Snarks. Stupid NPCs or a stupid GM will make said mindfuck obvious, allowing you to "mindfuck 'em back" without abuse of OOC info; cunning ones will not.

On a side-note; GRRM is said to take a dim view of fanfiction, saying it kills creative ability. This is kind of a double-edged statement, since a lot of George's characters here are either rehashes of his characters from previous works, references to other fictional characters (like Littlefinger and Samwell being based on Jay Gatsby and [[The Lord of the Rings|Samwise Gamgee]]), walking tropes (such as Ned Stark and Robb Stark being the "[[TVTropes|Honor Before ]] [[Lawful Stupid|Reason]]" characters) or historical references (such House Lannister ripping off House Lancaster and House Tyrell being totally-not-House-Tudor - to the point that Margaery Tyrell is played by Natalie Dormer from "The Tudors" TV show). While this makes everything he wrote just another...fanfiction, and his disapproval hypocritical. Still, given the "creative" output of the average neckbeard, he does have a point. Ironically he sold the rights to make a TV series of the books to HBO, who then went on to make a glorified fanfic.

==Games==
[[image:AGot-2nd-ed-cardfan.png|thumb|250px]]
Like any fantasy author who finds themselves unexpectedly in the warm embrace of commercial success Martin quickly licensed the shit out of his setting, spawning everything from resin miniatures to replica great swords. While most of this is worthless junk to foist on [[Neckbeard|obsessive fanboys]] /tg/ has agreed that a few of the games are made of win. The first two are a collectable [[CCG|card game]] put out in 2002 by [[Fantasy Flight Games]] and a [[risk]]-esque board game that followed shortly after in 2003. One of [[White Wolf]]'s subsidiaries also put out a d20 RPG in 2005 but it quickly tanked because, come on, White Wolf. Martin since wrested the rights back and developed a new version with Green Ronin games.

Now let's have some serious talks about the Game of Thrones games because they have become some sort of endless source of amusement and frustration for the gaming fanbase. Game of Thrones is roughly speaking the second franchise with the most licensed board games, after star wars, and some of them have acquired quite a legendary status and a fanbase that goes beyond the book or series fans.

The great juggernaut for all the ASOIAF based games is Fantasy Flight Games

First and foremost we have the Game of Thrones board game, a game that after two editions still ranks high in the BGG top 100 board games, and has recently had an expansion. The Game of Thrones board game has become some sort of meme for the modern board gamers and it could be considered the equivalent of a more advanced risk, in which dice and blank character got replaced by a very flavourful and brutal combat system and a lot of thematical mechanics fueling the engine. Overall this game has been associated with concepts such as requiring maximum player count to really be entertaining, having an amazing amount of length and depth and being a very faithful representation of the political feeling the series inspired. Almost any boardgamer or wargamer worth his salt has played this game and enjoyed its highs, its lows and the amazing amount of frustrations it brings. This is probably the most well known of all the ASOIAF games and it was released way before Game of Thrones was a cultural phenomenon back in 2003.

Another game that bears mention, both for its excellent mechanics and its historical significance is the game of thrones card game. It is one of the most balanced card game experiences you can get, also full of flavour and with quite a great amount of balance and non-linear thinking. The best part is, unlike other card games, the game has a "living card game" release format, in which players know exactly what each booster pack brings and can buy cards in a more responsible manner rather than playing bingo and hoping to get a rare card. Also, the sole core set already provides more replayability than some fully-fledged board games.

Finally, the last game to mention in the FFG venerable trilogy of games is "Battles of Westeros", arguably the most ambitious and least successful of the three. Battles of Westeros was a fully-fledged wargame that used the Memoir 44/battlelore rules as a base, but then evolved into its own by introducing mechanics such as commanders, tactic cards and very creative scenario rules. Miniatures were made in 15 mm and for their time and scale they were quite detailed, some commanders are real standouts(I´m looking at you Robb Stark(with his wolf jumping at his side) and Rickard Karstark). Thanks to its scale, the game was able to provide players with a great number of options and units at a fraction of the price of other board games. With a core set that was already stacked with units and variety and then faction-specific expansions that added several more units and commanders. The game also came with scenario books that provided narrative play with quite creative rule variants, such as storming palisades, having decoys in escort missions and bombarding enemies with catapults. One scenario even tried to bring to life the battle of the blackwater (the hybrid invasion of kings landing by Stannis the Mannis). The game was incredible and quite a creative wargame, but its main issue was that the setup time was just terrible. Incredibly complex and tiresome when compared to the actual gameplay time.

And then the miniature producing Kickstarter juggernaut CMON decided to produce its own wargame, with AMAZING miniatures.

As this is CMON the game began with a [[https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/cmon/a-song-of-ice-and-fire-tabletop-miniatures-game]kickstarter], and after that, the game has had at least 2 dozen more releases with 3 more factions added.

The game has some mechanics taken from rank and file games such as KOW combining them with mechanics taken out of "battles of Westeros" particularly the tactics deck.
A new page is in the works [[ASOIAF Miniature Game]]

==Books==
*''A Game of Thrones''
*''A Clash of Kings''
*''A Storm of Swords'': Split into 2
*''A Feast for Crows'': half the characters, the point where the series goes down the toilet
*''A Dance with Dragons'': split into 2 the first is about the other half of the characters, and manages to pick things up a bit
*''The Winds of Winter'': First rumored to be ready by late 2018. Though he has shared chapters of the book, it's still not out despite being given an official release time of summer 2020. It might happen by 2030 if we're really lucky
*''A Dream of Spring'' : Unreleased and unlikely to ever be.
** GRRM will most likely die before writing this
*''The Dunk and Egg Series'': A story about a landless hedge knight travelling across Westeros with a Targaryen squire, so he can teach him how not to be an asshole to peasants.

==On The "Grimdarkness" of the Setting==

One important note: While the setting is usually held to be "Grimdark", it is also very true to Real Life in its nastiness, with real consequences for assholes.

For example: The King can order the execution of the head of the leading noble family of the North, for essentially no reason, but now he doesn't have hostages to exchange when their armies come after him seeking revenge. (And all this is modelled on various occasions where more or less '''exactly''' this kind of thing happened in Real Life Medival Europe.)

In other words: Truely heinous shit goes on, and there's nothing ''stopping'' that kind of shit... but there are ''consequences'' to that kind of shit that act as an effective counterbalance against being seen to do that kind of shit to the smarter nobles in the kingdom.

Whether the setting fully qualifies for "Grimdark" is a matter for debate, in other words.

==See Also==
*[[/tg/ Song of Ice and Fire Houses]]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U7NpSubAJQ Weiner, Weiner weiner]

[[category: Literature]]

A Song of Ice and Fire

2021-02-13T15:06:51Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* House Frey */

[[image:Game_of_Thrones_Title-DVD.png|300px|thumb|WIENER PARTY! WIENER PARTY!]]

{{Spoilers}}
{{Grimdark}}
'''Warning: This article contains so many spoilers we're ruining books that haven't even been released yet.'''

{{Topquote|If you think this story has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.|Ramsay Bolton, nailing the grimdark theme of this series}}

'''''A Song of Ice and Fire''''' (more better known as '''''Game of Thrones''''') is a [[Grimdark]] fantasy book series for people who hate fantasy. Its central themes include [[Tzeentch|political Machiavellian scheming]], [[Khorne|ultraviolence]], [[Slaanesh|incest/sex with exposition]], and [[Nurgle|everyone trying to survive in such a Crapsack World of perpetual suffering]]. Thus it has become one of the most popular series of our generation and its author, [[George R. R. Martin]], has been praised for his highly realized world and gritty low fantasy style. He was even called "the American [[Tolkien]]" by <s>Time magazine</s> gormless idiots who lump diametrically different writers together for no other reason than that they're both fantasy authors, which would probably explain its sudden spike in popularity following the TV show (at least [[Skub|to a point, anyway.]]) The great joke of an actual World War veteran writing a story about heroic knights and elves being compared to and contrasted with a conscientious objector who writes [[edgy|dark (ranging from edgy to grimderp)]] fantasy is not lost on most.

The series itself is set on the [[Original character, do not steal|totally not medieval European ripoff]] realm of Westeros as it is wracked by a massive succession war drawing its realms into conflict. Everyone's picking up the pieces from the pervious war until one family's bid for power starts another war (book one), A bunch of dudes declare themselves kings (book two), they're burning the continent down in their scramble for power, and somehow all the fuck-ups managed to lose anyway (book three). Just when the guys who lost the least start thinking they get to rule over the remaining chaos, more fuck ups happen and more dudes show up (book four). Sadly, winter has finally come and, unbeknownst to most people, [[Thousand Sons|evil ice wizards leading soulless undead]] [[Alpha Legion|assumed to be only myths by most people]] are about to invade the continent from the north. By the fifth book, things are going and/or will go to shit even for the bad guys.

According to a leaked fan conversation, George R. R. Martin jokingly stated the series would end with an epic cock-slap fight between Samwell Tarly and Jaime Lannister.

TL;DR: [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Roses War of Roses] redux, with a side helpin' of <s>cliched fantasy</s> George's old sci-fi writing plots given a fantasy overhaul and [[/d/]]-lite.

[[ASOIAF Miniature Game|Miniature game has their own page now]]

==Characters==
{{cleanup}}
Since these books have some thousand named characters, you won't remember most of them without an obsessive disorder over details.
Here's a relatively shortlist (mostly based on the TV series rather than the books, but seems to randomly switch between the two) for the characters you'll care about.

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="width:100%">
===House Stark===

''"Winter Is Coming"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Honourable, bro-tier northerners who always [[Space Wolves|compare themselves to direwolves]]. They have a tendency towards [[Lawful Stupid]] that proves to bite them in the ass due to naivete about how [[Tzeentch|Westerosi corrupt politics actually works]]. They're also arguably the protagonists of the setting. Basically Scotland and/or the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_york House of York].
* Eddard Stark, ''The Quiet Wolf'': Patriarch, lord and POV death-puppet. Not nearly as stupid as everyone tries to pretend, but still a dead man walking.
* Robb Stark, ''The Young Wolf'': Shiny, [[Lawful Stupid]] King Arthur-like hero. After waging a successful war to avenge his murdered father, he was betrothed to a noblewoman but he ended having comfort sex with a virgin noblewoman which may have been arranged by her scheming bitch mother, while in softcore porno he got the hots for a commoner. Cacks it nastily: he got his head cut off and his pet's wolf's head stuck on his body, which was paraded around while his enemies chanted "HERE COMES THE KING IN THE NORTH!" In other words, he's a Scottish [[Roman Empire|Hannibal Barca]].
* Sansa Stark: Useless teenage girl extraordinaire at the start of the series with dreams of marrying a prince and "having lots of babies", but gets shat on hard by reality. Becomes Littlefinger's replacement goldfish when Catelyn's no longer around, her father got killed and her best friend was sold as a sex slave, and ended up in the worst relationship we can possibly imagine with King Joffrey. [[Grimdark|Even got deflowered via rape by Ramsey Bolton]] and married to him before managing to escape with the help of others. Currently acting as a co-ruler to her brother/cousin Jon Snow, and has learned much from her suffering, allowing her to kick Littlefinger out of the Great Game via throat slitting. While in the book Littlefinger is/was setting her up at House Arryn to claim the Vale and the North, the show version becomes QUEEN IN DA NORF in the final episode.
* Arya Stark: Little tomboy assassin. Has a kill list, but doesn't get to use it so long as she is an amnesiac apprentice of [[Officio Assassinorum|the Friendly Neighborhood Assassins Guild]]. After breaking away (in the TV series) from the Faceless Men she heads back to Westeros to get revenge on a LOT of people, giving her one of the highest kill counts in the series. Is currently back with her sister Sansa, acting as a general "troubleshooter". Kills the Night King like a fucking champion [[Skub|(or, alternatively, in a nonsensical plot twist)]] in Season 8, and is now riding south to add Cersei to her kill count. Instead, the Hound talks her out of it and she decides to sail into the unknown west.
* Catelyn Stark (nee Tully): A woman who trusts the wrong people at the worst time, causing a lot of misery. Gets killed along with Robb, then comes back (books only) as an undead witch bent on killing all the Boltons, Freys, Greyjoys, Lannisters... pretty much everyone she thinks was tangentially involved in betraying her and her family, or somebody who just pissed her off.
* Bran Stark: Intelligent little boy, named after the founder of House Stark, Brandon the Builder (basically Tony Stark combined with [[Leman Russ]]). He was crippled in the first sign of major [[GrimDark]]. Has prophetic dreams and becomes a [[druid]]. In the TV series, fucks things up by alerting the Others to where he's hiding, which gets all of the Children, his loyal wolf, the Three-Eyed Crow and Hodor killed. For good measure, turns out to have accidentally ''caused'' Hodor to become, well, Hodor, as he was using his druid powers to figure out why Hodor is only able to say Hodor, resulting in Hodor's gruesome death-by-zombies being beamed directly into young! Hodor's brain. He's now the Three-Eyed Raven and likes going around being creepy as fuck and generally weirding people out. Becomes King of the <s>Seven</s> Six Kingdoms in a hilariously nonsensical plot twist in the finale.
* Rickon Stark: Four years old at the start, turning into a real little [[Barbarian]] from not being raised properly, because everyone who would have raised him was dead or missing. In the show, he ends up hanging out at the Umbers, then is handed over to Ramsay as a prisoner when Smalljon becomes afraid of the Wildlings living north of him (who were invited by Jon Snow to fight the Zombie Apocalypse), and finally dies via arrow in a sick game of "dodge the missiles" courtesy of Ramsey.
* Jon Snow, ''The White Wolf'': A bastard living in the Stark household before leaving for the Night's Watch (basically [[The Last Chancers|Colonel Schaeffer]] with more convicted rapists under his command) and excels there because nearly every one of his fellow recruits are peasants who have never had a formal days of training while Jon has had the serious training afforded to all lords. After he takes over by becoming the Watch Commander secures and alliance with the Wildlings, ancient barbarian enemies of the Night's Watch, because when the end of the world is coming you tend to think outside the box. Currently revived by R'hllor in the series after being stabbed to death by the senior members of the Watch. Isn't actually Eddard's bastard son, but rather the legitimate son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, meaning that he is, in fact, the rightful heir to the Iron Throne. The new KING IN DA NORF according to his supporters after he killed Ramsay Bolton and took back Winterfell, and is also currently hooking up with his own aunt. He turns on Daenerys once he realizes she's lost it and kills her in the throne room. The Unsullied want his head, but instead, King Bran exiles him to the Night's Watch and he fucks off into the far north to live with the Free Folk.
* Hodor: Hodor. Hodor, Hodor, Hodor. <s>An enormous and possibly retarded stable boy, and Bran's faithful steed.</s> Hodor. Ok, in all actual seriousness, this guy is probably one of the most tragic figures in this series (and that's saying something). [[Grimdark|The guy basically received horrible visions of his own death fighting a horde of zombies, buying time for his friends to escape by literally holding the door shut as he was hacked apart]]. This causes him to suffer a psychiatric break, leading him to develop Immature Personality Disorder and his only speech is to repeat a garbled phrase of his friend's last request "hold the door" for all of his adult life; the logic here is that "hold the door" devolves into "hol' th' door" and eventually "Hodor". You now feel bad for at laughing at the guy.
* Osha: A Wildling woman who surrendered to the Starks and becomes their servant in exchange for not getting killed. Now dead in the show thanks to Ramsay's dickery.</div></div>

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="width:100%">

===House Targaryen===

''"Fire and Blood"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The former Dragon kings and rulers of Westeros, [[Eldar|fair-haired purple-eyed beautiful people]] who have descended from the [[Dark Age of Technology|ancient technologically-advanced superpower]] of [[Roman Empire|Valyria]], which collapsed because of [[Fall of the Eldar|their colossal hubris]]. After the anarchic [[Age of Strife|Century of Blood]], the Targaryen patriarch Aegon I, instead of reconquering the lost cause of Essos and of Valyria's former empire, looked towards the rather primitive continent of Westeros, and its squabbling Seven Kingdoms, [[Great Crusade|to establish his own Imperial dynasty and unify the Realm]]. Aegon I is essentially the Low Fantasy version of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_the_Conqueror William the Conqueror] and/or the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]], with a little dash of [[/d/|incest]].

[[Rules Lawyer|Thanks to a loophole]], the Targaryens were immune to the moral objections relating to incest. Common sense (and common decency) took back seat to a time-honoured policy of [[/d/|catastrophic inbreeding]], which made a number of problems. Aegon I married his older and younger sisters and had several kids with each, which would be the start of another Targaryen tradition: the occasional succession crisis. The inbreeding would also lead to a line of almost alternatingly great and lunatic kings, culminating in Aerys "The Mad King" Targaryen and a palace coup. Eventually, the lineage was banished to Essos after a brutal civil war, the remnants trying to gather armies to retake the Iron Throne which they see as rightfully theirs. Basically a family of inbreeding girly-men with a massive sense of superiority and as arrogant as they come, forgetting that most of what they accomplished was due to the fact that only they had dragons. Still, they occasionally did have genuinely good people like Aegon V (aka Egg), Jaeherys I the Conciliator, his wife Good Queen Alysanne and complete badasses like Brynden Bloodraven and Baelor Breakspear.
Pseudo-Romans and/or the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Normandy House of Normandy].

* Aerys II, ''The Mad King'': [[Kharn|A pretty fun guy to be around]]. Had a psychotic fascination for fire, which extended to being a psychotic fascination for burning traitors, a category of people that eventually grew to include anybody he disliked for any reason, anyone who disagreed with him, and a few people who were unlucky enough to be caught in the crossfire. [[Goge Vandire|Teamkilled by his bodyguard Jaime for planning to burn the city down with everyone inside it, and even refused to accept his death until he actually died]].
* [[Mary Sue|Daenerys Targaryen]], ''Stormborn'': She was sold by her brother to a barbarian leader [[Genghis motherfucking Khan|Khal (warlord) Drogo]] in exchange for the promise that he'd use his Khalassar (Warband/tribe) to conquer Westeros. She found her self esteem as his wife, then her husband killed her idiot brother Viserys and promised to conquer the world for Daenerys, making her a full-fledged badass barbarian war queen. Unfortunately, her husband died when [[Derp|Daenerys trusted one of the slaves whose town Drogo had pillaged and burnt to heal an infected wound of his]] and his horde fell apart (though the book is somewhat ambiguous as to whether the slave did kill Drogo). Then she hatched three dragons (completely by accident when she tried to commit suicide) bringing them back from extinction, and now everyone wants to marry her because she is now one of the most powerful people around due to said dragons and being good-looking (in the books this is by the age-of-consent in Westeros standards, where girls are women when they start getting their periods and boys are men at age 13). [[Gets shit done]] except the entire fifth book, in which she mopes around about wanting to marry an annoying, flamboyant mercenary instead of saving herself for political marriage. After banging the flamboyant mercenary, she later marries a Meereenese noble who guarantees he can get her some peace (more likely [[Just As Planned|just as he planned]]). She also does nothing while insurgents kill her men, a horde of plagued refugees spread disease to her city and standing idly by while an enemy army besieges her walls, all for realistically political reasons because the world is a horrible place. Learns how to train her dragon. While she's stuck with a Khalassar in the books, in the TV series she made it to Westeros invading the place with an army of elite hoplites, a massive horde of Dothraki and her dragons. By the time she gets to King's Landing she's taken significant losses, including two of her dragons, and is fucking her nephew (Jon Snow). Has officially gone Mad Queen as of S8E5, wherein she burned most of King's Landing after the city attempted to surrender. Jon kills her in the series finale so that she won't go around burninating the rest of the world.
* The dragons: The three dragons that Daenerys hatched. They're wyverns that breathe fire, [[Awesome|have blood hot enough to melt steel]], and [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|cook their meat before eating it]]. Naturally, some of the coolest things in the story.
** Drogon; named for her late husband, Khal Drogo. Black and Red, the biggest and [[Gork|most aggressive dragon]]. Starts eating people and then escapes, leading to the other two getting imprisoned. Interrupts a gladiator tournament, killing a lot of people before being whipped by Daenerys into flying her to a Khalassar that broke off from her husband's after his death. Is now the last dragon standing after Viserion bites it north of the Wall and his undead body is put down at Winterfell and Rhaegal gets shot down over Dragonstone. Takes Dany's body, destroys the Iron Throne and fucks off to who knows where after Dany is killed.
** Rhaegal; named for the first of her dead brothers, Rhaegar. Green and gold, the [[Mork|cunning one]] and the loudest (with a roar "...that would have sent a hundred lions fleeing,"). Kills Quentyn Martell when the latter is trying to goad Viserion (see below). After breaking out of jail with Viserion they go "all your bases are belong to us" on Meereen, killing people and taking over the pyramid of a loyal family as his lair. Last seen playing "sack the town" with Viserion in the books. Is now dead in the show thanks to Euron Greyjoy and some Diabolus ex Machina bullshit.
** Viserion; named for her other brother Viserys. White and gold and the [[Vulkan|friendliest]] (as dragons go, he still eats people). Dug cave for himself in his jail then moved into another pyramid after his and his brother's great escape. Gets killed by the [[Vampire Counts|Night's King in the show via a magic spear, then his corpse is reanimated to be the Night King's zombie dragon steed]] and blasts a hole in the famous Wall, allowing the armies of snow elves and zombies to start flooding Westeros. Now perma-dead thanks to the Night King biting it.
* Viserys Targaryen, ''The Beggar King'': Daenerys' physically abusive older brother. Best known for being a bully with incestuous lust for her, and an arrogant and incompetent fuck with a massive sense of entitlement. He eventually got himself killed for being an all-around jerk and whiny idiot, which culminated in him threatening his sister and unborn nephew with a sword while drunk in a sacred Dothraki place where weapons and bloodshed are forbidden on pain of death (execution is done by bloodless death - having a scarf wrapped tight around the neck and being drowned in a barrel). Daenerys' husband [[awesome|poured molten gold over his head and called it his promised crown, also ensuring his death didn't technically shed any blood in their sacred place]].
* Aegon Targaryen, ''Aegon VI'': Daenerys' nephew, the son of her brother Rhaegar. Been hiding in Essos for the entire length of the series, but recently raised an army of Westerosi exiles and threw them all a massive Welcome Home party with rape and pillage. Wants to marry his aunt because she has dragons, and might not actually be a member of House Targaryen if you believe some fans. He can actually count past 6, can multiply numbers, can read different language and has a minor understanding of geometry thus cementing him as one of the most educated people in this overwrought series. Can also do his own laundry.
* Brynden Rivers ''Bloodraven'': A Targaryen bastard who came to prominence about a hundred years before the series as sort of sorcerer, he later became known as the "Three-Eyed Raven/Crow" after encountering the Children of the Forest, and uses his powers to help advert the Long Night and train Bran. He's described as having long, white hair, missing an eye, bound to a tree, knows all and sees all, associated heavily with ravens and omens... [[Vikings|yeah, he's very much Odin, come to think of it.]]</div></div>

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===House Lannister===

''Hear Me Roar"/"A Lannister Always Pays His Debts"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">[[Monopoly|Westeros' richest family]], proud, pompous, selfish and fabulous assholes. Not much of a martial tradition but if you cross them [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7t7cnwlOgY they will fucking cut you]. You can tell they are the bad guys because they have an army of sick fucks, including a zebra-riding mercenary band and 7' 8" Khornate Champion <s>not-Goliath</s> Gregor Clegane. House Lancaster combined with the House of Rothschild and the Mafia.
* Tywin Lannister, ''The Lion of Lannister'': The Godfather, head of the house, and obsessed with his reputation as a Magnificent Bastard extraordinaire. Lawful Evil Personified. He was a most feared general whose greatest achievement was [[Exterminatus|erasing House Reyne from existence]], which was immortalised in his own sweet-yet-creepy-as-fuck theme song (The Rains of Castamere) that became used as a warning against anyone standing against him. During his tenure as Hand of the King (i.e. Prime Minister), he was a political genius who operates as the true power behind the Iron Throne, keeping the realm stable and prosperous despite the stupidity of Aerys II and Joffrey. However, despite all of his achievements, he was an [[Emperor|absolutely terrible father]], who treats his children as nothing more than tools to further his political agenda. He is completely blind to the incestuous relationship his two oldest children had, and hated Tyrion and made his life a living hell for very poor reasons. He humiliated Tyrion whenever it wouldn't threaten the family's reputation, berated Tyrion for being a whore-monger despite secretly being one himself, [[Grimdark|tried to get him killed multiple times]], and as the capstone of awful parenting, he taught Tyrion not to marry commoners after he married one called Tysha - by forcing Tyrion to watch Tysha get gang-raped, forcing him to rape her too and then annulling their marriage. The only person Tywin truly loved was his wife. He eventually gets his comeuppance when Tyrion finds out the truth about the Tysha incident and kills him with a crossbow, all while mentioning that out of all his children, Tyrion was the most alike to Tywin himself. He's based on [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Neville,_16th_Earl_of_Warwick Warwick the Kingmaker].
* Joanna Lannister: Tywin's late wife and first cousin, meaning the next three characters are inbred as well, ironically. Dies giving birth to Tyrion, which is part of why Tywin hates him, though Cersei hates him for other reasons. Caught wind of Cersei and Jaime's incestuous tendencies, but she died before she could tell Tywin. It is implied that her ghost visits Jaime in a dream and mourns the current state of her family.
* Cersei Lannister, ''Cunt Queen'': Tywin and Joanna's first child. Twin sister to Jaime Lannister and wife to King Robert Baratheon. She fucks her brother Jaime all the time and had three of his children, whom she passed off as Robert's to grab power. She is a massive narcissist who thinks of herself as "female Tywin" and hence seeks to rule Westeros as the Queen, and will do anything to keep her power... even when [[Abbadon the Despoiler|most of her plans end up becoming utter failures]]. Crazy as all fuck and prophesied to be killed by the "little brother." This is because of a prophecy a Gypsy made when Cersei was a child that she'd be a beautiful queen, lose everything, her children would die before her, and the "Valonqar" would kill her. Though that does explain why she hates Tyrion as hard as all fuck, [[Just As Planned|the exact translation of the term]] that was used is "younger sibling", and not necessarily her sibling, which opens the door to all sorts of characters who hate the fuck out of her. Since Jaime is technically younger by a few seconds, him killing Cersei would be an interesting twist not without buildup. Possibly the Gypsy was messing with her head because of what a bitch Cersei was being to her; something Cersei never grew out of. Cersei is currently alive only because Varys wants her to be, [[Just As Planned|as she's a terrible queen who'll destabilize the realm enough for him to bring back the Targaryens]]. She was completely shaved, stripped of power in all but her royal heritage and forced to do a nude walk of penance throughout the city by the High Sparrow (ASOIAF Pope equivalent) after he uncovered her crimes. Now she's waiting for her hair to grow back and maybe thinking of revenge. She gets it in the show by blowing up the Sept (ASOIAF church) with everyone she doesn't like inside it, having her cousin killed near the Wildfire then capturing the nun who was her jailer and [[Grimdark|leaving her to be tortured to death by zombie Gregor Clegane]]. She is in short Thanquol disguised as a beautiful blonde woman. Gets anticlimactically squashed by a collapsing ceiling along with Jaime during Daenerys's assault on King's Landing. (her biggest issue? to don't die sooner, for the seven's sake!)
* Jaime Lannister, ''The Kingslayer'': Younger twin brother (by about three seconds) to Cersei Lannister and commander of the Kingsguard. He loves his sister in every sense of the word and had three children with her. Killed the last king despite his oath, and is widely hated for it, even though everyone agrees that dying was a massive improvement for Aerys. The reason for this betrayal was that Aerys had a huge stockpile of Acme Brand Magic Napalm stockpiled under the city, ready to be set off the moment a siege broke through the town walls, and Jaime's options were to let it happen or kill Aerys before the crazy fuck got ''everybody'' killed. His desire to openly love his sister and win the respect he feels he deserves eventually causes Cersei to reject him. Starts off as an arrogant douche [[Grimdark|and tried to murder Bran Stark, but accidentally crippled him instead]]; he becomes otherwise quite bro-tier besides the whole wants-to-fuck-his-sister thing, though he grows out of ''that'' as well when he realizes what a bitch she is and that there's plenty of women who want his jock - even the hunky Brienne isn't that bad looking. Thoroughly humbled to boot after learning a few hard lessons, losing his sword hand, and having some time to rethink his life. Also, the only person in his family who treats Tyrion well, along with one of his aunts and two dead uncles. Essentially, a more incestuous and douchey Blood Angel. In the books, he is currently being lured into a trap by Lady Stoneheart. In the show, he has finally told Cersei to get fucked after realizing that she has well and truly lost it, and is riding north to help fight the White Walkers. He survives the Battle of Winterfell, hooks up with Brienne, and then rides south [[Derp|because he just can't let Cersei go.]] Winds up getting shanked by Euron Greyjoy and dies [[Fail|via collapsing ceiling]].
* Tyrion Lannister, ''Halfman'': a very intelligent dwarf who is awesome, but hated by all of the civilized characters in the books, except his brother Jaime. He seems to do much better when getting drunk with whores, rogues, bastards and barbarians. His silver tongue is one of his greatest strengths (he's witty and good at persuading people) and weaknesses (he's quick with insults and the truth in a city ruled by sociopaths and liars). Tyrion is also one of the only characters with an actual sense of the bigger picture, and an interest toward steering the world toward an outcome that ''doesn't'' involve a [[The End Times|Warhammer End Times]] scenario. Unfortunately, the world's movers, shakers, and those who generally have the power to make a difference are increasingly either a) dead, b) scattered to the winds or c) hate his dwarf guts. Despite the increasing difficulty and fruitlessness of his task, however, [[Awesome|Tyrion still fights]]. After being framed for killing Joffrey, he killed his own father and is currently in exile in the Free Cities, weaselling his way into leading a merc band and trying to sign them up with Daenerys' forces, recognizing her as one of the few chances Westeros has got of fixing its shit (provided she can get her own shit together, which she's having a bit of trouble with). Since characters in this series tend to either be walking tropes, rip-offs of other fantasy characters, or historical people with different names, Tyrion is probably based on the great [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miles_Vorkosigan Miles Vorkosigan] (who was himself based on a few people including Sir Winston Churchill) and is a nod to King Richard III (a deformed but competent king later demonized by historians of his era). Even if he is usually the smartest one in the room at any given time, though, Tyrion is still not above having some derp moments. Exhibit A, when Tyrion asked his father what happened to his first wife (right before killing him), he took an ''obvious'' "I don't know and I don't care," response ("Wherever whores go") as actual, literal directions. The show version meets Daenerys and becomes her Hand only to [[Fail|fuck up a bunch of stuff]] and lose her trust. Sells her out when he realizes that she's gone round the bend and winds up becoming Hand to King Bran.
* Kevan Lannister: Tywin's younger brother, considered "the reliable one". One of the few decent Lannisters, though saying that he is perfectly happy carrying out Tywin's bidding. Tried to talk sense into Cersei and was later called in to try and fix her mess. He did such a good job of it that Varys decided to personally thank him. With a crossbow. And a group of knife-wielding children. In the show he dies with the rest of the crowd when the Great Sept got nuked by Cersei - the manner of his book death was given over to Grand Maester Pycelle at the exact same time.
* Cersei and Robert's (actually Jaime's) children:
** Joffrey Baratheon: "Heir" of the throne, and the technical king of Westeros during the War of the Five Kings since he lives in King's Landing and sits on the throne. Turned out to be worse than Aerys. He died and there was much rejoicing. [[Fail|Except by his mother, who instead had sex on his corpse]]. Fourteen years old at the time of his death.
** Tommen Baratheon: The new king on the Iron Throne. Nine years old. Married to a teenaged shotacon wife who's (unknown to him) the granddaughter of his brother's true killer. Trying to litigate the criminalization of beets. Loves [[Cats|kittens]]. He's pretty well-rounded and non-fucked up, which is a miracle considering his parents, both putative and biological. Also seems to be trying to take kinging seriously, but his mom is trying to quash that in her subliminal attempt to hold power indefinitely, so whether it holds is another matter entirely. Prophesied to die before Cersei, which doubly tragic due to his age and being a much better person than her. He commits suicide after Cersei gets her revenge via killing his wife, godfather, great-uncle, and all his religious friends via blowing up the ASOIAF equivalent of St. Peter's Basilica, because of course her power hunger was more important than his happiness and well being.
** Mycella Baratheon: Princess, and Cersei and "Robert's" second oldest child. She had her face fucked up because of Arianne Martell's amateur intrigues, which overlapped with poor planning, general stupidity, and another guy's backstabbing. Ten years old. Before the maiming, she was quite decent and non-evil. Who knows how she'll turn out now with half of her face cut off. Also prophesied to die before Cersei. In the show, she had a crush on Oberyn's surviving nephew but was killed by Elia in revenge for Oberyn's death, but alive in the books though missing an ear. Also, the readership all got on George's balls for maiming this girl, mostly because it was a sign that he had run out of ideas and was basically just milking Diabolus ex Machina ([[Just As Planned|or that's what he wants us to think]]).
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===House Baratheon===

''"Ours is the Fury"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Ascended to the Iron Throne after a successful rebellion against the Mad King Aerys II Targaryen. Produces no less than three claimants to the succession, each one very different from the other. Technically a cadet branch of House Targaryen as their founder Orys was allegedly a Targaryen bastard, who took the original Storm Kings (House Durrandon) deer sigil after killing the last one and fucking his only child Argella and then 200 odd years later, King Egg's daughter married their grandfather, they're pretty much the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Plantagenet House of Plantagenet].
* Robert Baratheon, ''The Usurper'': Fat, old, former badass who led the rebellion, and now the king who married Cersei Lannister. Then he fucked a bunch of other women and had lots of illegitimate kids. He was killed while mixing boar hunting and drinking, but whether this death was planned or not is uncertain. On the surface, a king with a thing for easy laughs and partying; right underneath the surface, he's irresponsible and leaves the actual ruling of a nation to his staff, deeper under the surface he's pretty much a sad, lonely old bro who would rather not have been king. Comparable to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_IV_of_England Henry IV], in that both were powerfully built military geniuses who overthrew the existing monarchy and later succumbed to an unhealthy lifestyle.
* Stannis '''The Mannis''' Baratheon: Robert's younger brother, an all-around badass who swings between [[Lawful Stupid]] (more so in the show than the books) and [[gets shit done|getting shit done]]. [[Judge Dredd|believes so strongly in the rule of law]] that he feels compelled to take the Iron Throne for himself despite wanting nothing to do with it. Is advised by a priestess of the God of light, Melisandre, and a lowborn smuggler named Davos Seaworth raised to knighthood and nobility. [[C.S Goto|His character is ruined in the show into an incompetent pawn of Melisandre and gets killed off just because one of the showrunners didn't like him]].
** Shireen Baratheon: Stannis's kid daughter. The sweet, charming, and intelligent little lady who was left with a deformity on her face from a disease called greyscale. Teaches Davos how to read, and is probably the most innocent person in the series alongside Tommen, Myrcella and a few others. Being the grim and dark universe A Song of Ice and Fire is, however, this means that she's likely going to end up becoming fuel for a vicious fire god. In the show she does, but in the books, she is safe and sound since Stannis isn't stupid enough to bring him with her while campaigning. His wife, on the other hand, being such an idiotic fanatical pyromaniac... well, her odds aren't exactly looking that great.
* Renly Baratheon, ''That Gay Guy'': Robert and Stannis's youngest brother. Took Loras Tyrell (a.k.a. Knight of Flowers, Pretty Boy, etc.) as his lover. Decided he was better suited to be king, though the bizarre and outdated laws of the land stated Stannis was next in line (though Joffrey and then Tommen were first since they were [[Pretend|officially]] Bobby B's legitimate kids). Was hugely popular since he had Robert's charisma, which led to him getting the most support, but he lacked Stannis's conviction and devotion to the duty of actually doing the work of a king, or even Robert's ability to wage war. Killed by Melisandre with some "help" by Stannis ''The Mannis'' for trying to steal his crown, though in the books Stannis may not have been completely aware of the role he played in Renly's death. He's basically [[That Guy]] of ASOIAF, since quite a lot of shit is his fault, indirectly or otherwise.
*Gendry Baratheon, the Bastard Son. One of Robert's many, many bastard children, and the one who gets the most page and screen time. He starts out as a humble blacksmith in King's Landing, who first comes to Ned's attention when Lord Stark is investigating the death of Jon Arryn. From there, he gets shipped off to the Night's Watch to avoid the imminent purge of Robert's bastards and winds up becoming friends with Arya and Hot Pie. After some adventuring and sexual tension with Arya (at least in the show), he joins the Brotherhood Without Banners. In the show, they sell him to Melisandre so she can use him for a blood magic ritual, while in the books he just goes on being a smith and doesn't get involved in anything particularly weird or shady. He's helping run an inn as a brotherhood front/orpganage when he reappears in the books, but in the show, Ser Davos sets him free and tells him to fuck off, which he does for a few seasons. He eventually turns up back in King's Landing, where Davos finds him and recruits him (and his comically oversized LARPing hammer) for Team Snow. He helps Jon capture a wight to show Cersei, makes dragonglass weapons for the Army of the Living, has sex with Arya, and fights in the Battle of Winterfell, after which Daenerys legitimizes him as the new lord of House Baratheon.</div></div>

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===House Tully===

''"Family, Duty, Honor"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> Lords of the central river lands. Being the obligatory central nation they spend a lot of the series being fought over like a cake in between fat kids. Basically Poland/Netherlands, given they have so many rivers and how hard they've been fucked over.
*Edmure Tully: Basically the SoIaF universe's eternal butt monkey (because he happens to be a decent fucking person). A useless ponce with a dense streak a mile wide and a bad habit of bragging about things he shouldn't be proud of. It took hanging in a stockade for a few months to make him experience some growth. When Jaime was brought in to unfuck the situation and end the siege at Tully's house in Riverrun, Jaime's "negotiation" pressured him into convincing his house to surrender, but he made sure [[Troll|that Brynden got out first]]. Currently spending his days at the Lannister house as a hostage to make sure that the Tullys don't try to ruin the situation again. Tries to make a case for himself as king in the final episode, only to get shut down by Sansa.
*Brynden Tully ''the Blackfish'': He didn't catch the memo that he was part of the joke faction, and proceeds to spend the entire series fucking Lannister shit up and generally being a boss. Thought to be the black sheep in a family of fish. (Thus "Blackfish", geddit?) Ended up holed up in Riverrun, and got the fuck out right before the end of the siege, so that the Lannisters couldn't dick him over as a prisoner (or so he can keep dicking them over before he became a prisoner). Also widely accepted by the fans to be a closeted homosexual. In the HBO show, he gets killed when resisting arrest from Tully forces by order of Edmure. [[Rage|And it happens offscreen.]]</div></div>

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===House Arryn===

''"As High as Honor"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Mountain lords turned [[NEET|neurotic shut ins]]. Goes through lords about as quickly as you would expect a castle equipped with a door that opens into empty air. Basically Switzerland/Afghanistan, seeing as how they stayed neutral in the War of Five Kings, their land is covered by nothing but mountains, and they're constantly fighting with the local tribes. They were being entertainingly screwed over by Littlefinger until his death.
*Jon Arryn: Only appears posthumously and is the catalyst for the whole plot. The true mastermind behind Robert's Rebellion was killed by Littlefinger via Lysa when he figured out that Robert's kids are bastards of Cersei and Jaime. His death was blamed on the Lannisters to destabilize Westeros.
*Lysa Arryn: Loli bride turned Lady of the Vale after the Lannisters forcibly retired her husband from life, at least officially. In reality, Littlefinger convinced her to poison her husband and blame the Lannisters [[Just As Planned|which pretty much started this whole clusterfuck to begin with]]. A closeted, crazy woman who spends the entire series in her castle "the Eyrie" being useless, breastfeeding her own son at age 10, obsessing over Littlefinger's cock, and [[Derp|refusing to help her sister and nephew in the war she and Littlefinger pretty much started]], which may have guaranteed their eventual horrific murders by their enemies. Finally gets her comeuppance when Littlefinger kicks her out the moon door (post-taunting, of course), putting her out of our collective misery. Long live the Lord Protector.
* Robert Arryn: ''Littlefuck'', Lysa's equally mentally unstable autistic son, who still sucks on his mom's tit, and enjoys seeing people "fly" out the moon door to their deaths. He actually seems to be a bit smarter than you would first think and is a really, really good judge of character, except with Sansa. Secretly being poisoned by Littlefinger and Sansa, so she can take over the Vale and North. Named Robin in the show because the showrunners were afraid that having two characters with the same name would be too confusing. The show version doesn't get poisoned but turns up in the series finale as the Lord of the Vale.</div></div>

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===House Greyjoy===

''"We Do Not Sow"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">[[Awesome|A house founded by Cthulhu-worshipping Norscans]]. While not actual Vikings in any sense of the word, there is little other way to describe them. They live on some islands and almost their entire culture is based around raiding and the ocean. Their religion holds it shameful for a man to pay for personal possessions, and states they have to get things either by trade or The Iron Price; seizing something from the body or belongings of someone he defeated in conquest rather than paying or trading for it. Also, only possessions acquired via The Iron Price command respect among the Ironborn.
*Balon Greyjoy: Asshole dad, crappy ruler and general shithead who rebelled against Robert Baratheon and failed miserably. All of his sons were killed, except for Theon, who was taken as a hostage to ensure his good behaviour. Despite being in a position to join either the Lannisters or the Starks during the War of Five Kings and thereby get whatever he wanted from either (independence and the North, or independence and Casterly Rock, respectively), he does the absolute stupidest thing possible and declares himself independent without support from anyone, attacking the North and the rest of Westeros, thereby virtually guaranteeing that he'll be on the receiving end of another one-sided battle. Never got that far, though, since he was pushed off a bridge during a storm by an assassin his brother Euron sent.
*Victarion Greyjoy: Admiral of the Iron Fleet. [[Gets shit done]] while wearing [[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Lokhir Fellheart's]] armour during boarding actions. Does it for vengeance, the lulz and as a ticket to Ironborn heaven (which they believe men can reach if they die in battle or by drowning). Worships both R'hllor and the Drowned God. For all his badassery, is far too stupid to realize that his black Red Priest sidekick's constant rambling about his "great destiny" is inevitably going to end in his burning to death on a sacrificial pyre. Said Red Priest impressed Victarion by surviving being marooned at sea for 3 weeks and turning Victarion's infected arm into a super-strong volcano arm. Seriously.
*Aeron Greyjoy ''Damphair'': A priestly Alan Moore who drank seawater. Once a fun-loving party animal, he nearly drowned during the Greyjoy Rebellion and became a dour and devout priest of the Ironborn [[Cthulhu]] religion. Confirmed to have been raped by Euron when they were kids. Planned to overthrow Euron, who bribed and manipulated his way into becoming king of the Ironborn. [[Grimdark|Was captured by Euron and tortured to try and make him renounce his faith, including feeding him spoiled food, drugging him and burning him. Later Euron tied Aeron, naked, to the prow of Euron's ship alongside Euron's tortured, pregnant former lover because she showed Aeron kindness by once giving him proper food]]. He tried to console her by saying their suffering will end in underwater Valhalla, [[Awesome|showing Euron failed to make him deny his faith]].
*Theon Greyjoy: Son of the Lord/King of the Iron Islands. Had the personality of a stereotypical high school jock, being an excellent archer and womanizer and proud of it. He was given to Ned Stark by his father after Balon failed to successfully rebel against Robert Baratheon. Swore an oath to Robb, but then ditched him out of a desperate need to please his father. Ends up castrated and acts as the personal slave of Ramsay Bolton after Ramsay puts him through horrific torture to turn him into Reek. Rescued by his sister, but the psychological trauma meant it took a while before he could stop calling himself Reek and start getting back to normal mentally (physically he's now missing a few parts that don't heal or grow back). Dead in the show, thanks to charging the Night King by himself while protecting Bran.
* Asha Greyjoy: Theon's older sister and a commander of some renown which is quite a feat - almost every man on the Iron Islands except her father either tried to get in her pants or told her to [[-4 STR|stop playing around and go do some actual women's work]], before she kicked enough ass that they respected her. Rescues Theon after he escapes Ramsay but then loses him to Stannis. Is named Yara in the show because the showrunners thought her name sounded too similar to Osha the wildling chick and is also apparently [[PROMOTIONS|bisexual]]. Eventually becomes Lady of the Iron Islands in the show because she's the last Greyjoy standing.
*Euron Greyjoy ''Crow's Eye'': A [[Chaos|sick fuck Lovecraftian pirate armed with unnatural sorcerous powers, so evil]] that Balon banished him from the Iron Islands. Every member of his crew is a mute because Euron ripped all their tongues out. Many of them are also the illegitimate sons of women he's raped around the world during his raids. Uses an eyepatch to conceal a pitch-black eye, his personal "obviously a villain" mark. Raped his brother Victarion's wife, then claimed she wanted it so Victarion had to kill her. Raped his younger brother Aeron. Also showed back up in the Iron Islands the day after Balon died, despite having been raping and pillaging in Essos before that, which is suspicious as fuck. Now the new Iron King. Plans to conquer Westeros and has some unknown plan to deal with Daenerys. Revealed in the book ''Winds of Winter'' to be [[Honsou|the sickest fuck in an entire setting of sick fucks (and that's saying something)]], including having a god complex while hating religion so much he [[Grimdark|tortures any clergymen he captures to try and make them give up their faiths using ironic tortures themed around their religions - such as preachers have their tongues cut out and burning priests of the fire god to death]]. Euron tried and failed to break his priest brother Aeron's faith so he lashed Aeron to the front of his ship to die [[Grimdark|alongside Euron's own pregnant lover Falia]]. In the show he's just a psycho pirate turned king without any magic powers or gear who wants to bang Cersei and Jaime kills him in the second-to-last episode. </div></div>

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===House Tyrell===

''"Growing Strong"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Lords of Highgarden and backstabbers par-excellence and owners of a lot of fertile land. Unlike the current lot of Lannisters they understand the value of good PR, balancing ruthlessness with being somewhat amicable, political savvy and not being stuck-up on honour. They're basically France. [[Fail|Unfortunately, they've all been wiped out in the show]].
*Mace "The Ace" Tyrell: Lord of Highgarden. Massively fat and overweight, while being stupid, overreaching and constantly mocked by everyone else, he's otherwise known as a friendly man, a good Lord when it comes to management and a good father; unfortunately, this isn't enough to save a man in the Game of Thrones. Gets killed with the rest of the noble houses when Cersei blows up the Great Sept of Baelor.
*Olenna Tyrell: The brains behind House Tyrell's schemes. Known as the ''Queen of Thorns'' for being an outspoken, prickly and venomous old lady. Schemed with Littlefinger to have Joffrey killed, but she carried it out with compressed powder "gems" that poisoned his wine. Now she keeps her family in line and is hailed as a more progressive version of Tywin. Became a fan favourite for constantly dropping awesome one-liners and telling the Sand Snakes to shut up. [[Fail|Later killed off in the show]], but not before revealing to Jaime that [[Awesome|she was the one who killed Joffrey and asking him to make sure Cersei knows it]].
*Willas Tyrell: Mace Tyrell's eldest son and heir, crippled at a very young age when jousting against Oberyn Martell. Probably one of the most pleasant and sensible characters in the series, which might explain why he's yet to make an appearance. Very fond of breeding animals, especially horses.
*Garlan Tyrell ''The Gallant'': Second-born son. Badass extraordinaire considered one of the best swords in Westeros, and one of the few people kind to Tyrion. Trains for real combat (often against multiple opponents by himself) unlike Loras, who's a tourney fighter. Single-handed wrecks many notable knights fighting for Stannis during the War of The Five Kings. And he is the only person other than Tywin to put Joffrey in his place, at his own wedding. Sadly no POV chapter yet and omitted from the TV series (Loras takes credit for his deeds).
*Loras Tyrell ''The Knight of Flowers'': The Tyrell who appears most in the series. Considered to be an example of the perfect knight, despite his youth. Is secretly Renly's gay lover and conspired to take the throne with him and his sister. Last seen badly injured in the books attempting to take Stannis' castle. In the show he ends up tortured by the members of the Faith for being gay [[C.S Goto|because the showrunners retconned them to hate gay people]], [[Protectorate of Menoth|later joins their ranks of questionable willingness]] then dies when Cersei blows up the Sept of Baelor.
*Margaery Tyrell: The would-be Queen of Westeros, she has married, in order, Renly Baratheon (gay), Joffrey Baratheon (evil), and Tommen Baratheon (8 years old) and has been crowned as queen three times. While she is nice, she is capable of manipulation. In the show, she marries and uses sex to control Tommen. Was arrested by the resident Chamber Militant The Sparrow and asked for a trial by faith in the books. In the show, this also happens but she tries to be pious in an attempt to save herself but ended up getting killed when Cersei blew up the Sept of Baelor.
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===House Bolton===

''"Our Blades Are Sharp"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The Starks' most important (and most despised) vassal, a former arch-rival made of [[Grimdark]] because their entire theme [[Dark Eldar|revolves around Torture]]. Their sigil is a flayed man, their castle is [[Commorragh|a complex of eternal suffering called the Dreadfort]], and just look at their House motto... which shows how stupid the Starks were for allying with them.
*Roose Bolton, ''The 'Leech Lord'': A Lawful Evil sociopathic health nut who's called the Leech Lord because he gets leeched regularly, believing they get rid of bad blood. Second-most powerful Lord in the North with ambitions to depose the Starks. Since the Starks are unable to think like crafty people and are blinded by honour this doesn't prove too difficult. He gets his wish when he stabs Robb Stark in the back, at his uncle's wedding no less, and has anyone associated with Robb killed. He then makes over Winterfell in his bloody image and is currently trolling Stannis. Believes in the abolished practice of "[[Rape|Droit du seigneur]]" (a tradition that allowed a lord to have sex with subordinate women, whether they wanted to or not) and killed at least one man for trying to hide his wife from Roose (before fathering Ramsay with her via rape). Believed that he and his son could be as evil as they wanted as long as no one found out. Killed by Ramsey in the show, which Ramsay tried to cover with a lie despite the witnesses to his actions.
*Ramsay Snow/Bolton: The bastard son of Roose Bolton and a peasant woman he raped [[Grimdark|(under the hanging corpse of the woman's husband, for fuck's sake!)]]. One of the most fucked up people in all of the Seven Kingdoms (alongside the original Reek, the paedophile marauder Rorge and Euron), because he [[Dark Eldar|loves to torture and kill people openly for the lulz]], such as Theon Greyjoy, who he crippled, knocked his teeth out, castrated, and brainwashed into calling himself Reek; Reek was originally a peasant appointed to try and control a young Ramsay, but instead Ramsay warped him into a mentally unstable necrophiliac before killing Reek to fake his death, but Ramsay seemed to hold some twisted affection for him. He also sent Theon's severed appendage to Theon's dad in a cutesy box with a letter mockingly detailing his evilness. Will torture anyone who points out his illegitimate heritage though now he's legally recognized as a Bolton. Also has a pack of hunting dogs he names after women he hunts, rapes and kills. Married a fake Arya Stark and regularly mistreats her, including forced bestiality. Not a fun guy to be around. The only reason he's gotten away with it for so long (as pointed out by his father) is that no one is strong enough to stand up to him yet, but [[Powder Keg of Justice|when they are]] he's going to be killed. In the show, he killed his father with a knife, fed his stepmother and newborn half-brother to his dogs, then married Sansa Stark and deflowered her via rape. Ramsay was such a monster even Iwan Rheon, THE ACTOR WHO PLAYED THE GUY, hoped he'd die horribly. He got his wish: The consequences of Ramsay's actions catch up with him when Jon Snow shows up with an army capable of threatening him, and after surprise reinforcements from Littlefinger and his own fucked-up teamkilling, the Starks crush the Bolton army, forcing Ramsay to flee back to Winterfell. Despite this, the gate is smashed down, he is disarmed, beaten rather brutally and detained to await trial. Before the trial Sansa sets his dogs on him, which he had deliberately starved so they would eat Jon. Apparently they found him quite tasty.
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===House Martell===

''"Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Desert dwelling survivalists who pride themselves on having never been conquered by the Targaryen dynasty (though they later married in). Moorish Spaniards, kinda. [[C.S Goto|Their story arc was completely FUBAR in the show, as Elia and Oberyn's daughters kill Oberyn's brother and nephew for taking too long to avenge him before being captured and killed themselves by Euron and Cersei]].
*Doran Martell: Lord of Sunspear and of royal descent. Still mad at the Lannisters about that whole "murdered-my-sister-and-infant-niece thing". Playing the longest of long games with Varys while trying to keep the rest of his psychotic family members in check. Wheelchair-bound due to his gout. [[What|Killed off in the show by Ellaria as part of her plan to avenge Oberyn]].
*Arianne Martell: One of GRRM's characters who seems to exists solely to fuck everything up at the worst conceivable moment. Still hot as Dornish girls come. Exists only in the books, where she is currently helping her dad get ready to topple the Lannisters after fucking everything up with her own stupid plan to crown Myrcella, which is what got the poor girl maimed.
*Oberyn Martell ''The Viper of Dorne'': Doran Martell's brother, a bisexual swinger, former mercenary, and a drunkard. His girlfriend is a spectacularly beautiful bastard named Ellaria Sand and he has many illegitimate children, mostly daughters, collectively called "The Sand Snakes". Crippled the Tyrell heir in a fight, causing a rift between the two houses; despite this, he's actually best mates with the aforementioned heir, due to Willas Tyrell being straight up the nicest and most balanced man in the series and Oberyn being a somewhat decent person. Known for poisoning his weapons, as well as his battle-cry. Died from a mutual kill, with Gregor Clegane crushing his skull in rather graphically, avenging his sister Elia who Gregor had raped and murdered. Though it's probably a win for Oberyn, since he got Clegane with a horribly painful and slow-acting venom which stretched his death over days or even weeks, during which time he was ruthlessly experimented upon by a mad scientist.
*Quentyn Martell: Didn't realize he was in Dark Low Fantasy and thought he was in High Fantasy, poor bastard. A member of House Martell, sent to marry Daenerys to secure an alliance between the families since the original marriage plan to hook Arianne up with Viserys won't work with Viserys dead. Leaves Westeros and goes all the way to the city of Meereen to marry her, but he's too late, as she marries the Meereenese noble Hizdahr, and like Jorah he's not her type (Dany likes her bad boys). Tries to tame two of her dragons to impress her; the attempt goes wrong, he gets horribly burnt and gradually dies in agony from his wounds.
*The Sand Snakes: Oberyn's children. All daughters he had with various women throughout his travels (all consensual encounters, mind you). Mixed race and all hot with various skills including combat training and mastery of poisons. Working with Doran and Ellaria in the books. [[C.S Goto|Ruined in the show where they don't accomplish anything, are given atrocious dialogue (the "you need the bad pussy" line comes to mind), aren't great fighters]] and get killed by Euron's men, except for one who gets captured and poisoned by Cersei so an imprisoned Ellaria is forced to watch her die and decompose.</div></div>

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===House Frey===

''"We Stand Together"''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> House of weasels who are always grumpy and have a thing for overreacting to perceived slights. Wouldn't be that important except for the fact that they own the only bridge over a strategically important river, and regularly extort anyone attempting to cross it.

*Walder Frey: The ancient, terrible, ornery old man in charge of the Twins. Hates everyone for "looking down on him", and will readily betray an important ally for immediate gain, or if he feels he has been slighted in some minor way. His descendants are literally so numerous that no one except GRRM himself has been able to count them all, so we aren't even going to attempt it. Now dead in the show due to getting his throat slit by a vengeful Arya after she serves him two of his sons as meat pies. </div></div>

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'''Night's Watch'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The Night's Watch are an apolitical force in charge of manning The Wall, a giant ice wall that separates the relative tranquillity of the south from the Lovecraftian fucked-up-itude of the true north. They are chronically undermanned and undersupplied since nobody believes their stories of a barbarian army or the impending zombie apocalypse. Basically everybody else thinks they're in a game of [[Diplomacy]] and the Night's Watch are the only ones who realize they're actually in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]], though it's been so long since the last snow elf invasion that even they had forgotten about the undead hordes and focused too much on barbarians. They've allied with the Wildings and the North, but in the TV show, the Night's King used the undead dragon Viserion to burn a hole through The Wall.
*Jeor Mormont, ''The Old Bear'': 997th Lord Commander of the Night's Watch at the start of the series. Sees Jon Snow as something of a second son (since his own son Jorah was exiled for enslaving and refused to take the black for his crimes). Leads a ranging north of the Wall to investigate reports that the Others have returned. Ends up killed during a mutiny of survivors after the Others wiped out most of his force.
*Alliser Thorne: Prick of a knight who was favourite to be the next Watch Commander, but was passed over by Jon Snow. Unable to accept Jon Snow letting the Wildlings live on the other side of the wall in an alliance against the zombie hordes, he staged a coup against Jon. It failed because Jon was brought back to life. He is now dead in the show, having been executed for his treason by Jon Snow.
*Aemon Targaryen: Maester of the Citadel at Castle Black. Despite being the third born son of King Maekar I Targaryen, he declined the right to sit on the Iron Throne. One of the few people in the series to die of old age, at 102.
*Samwell Tarly, ''The Slayer'': Fat bookworm who was forced to take the black after his father Randyl threatened to murder him for being unmanly. Jon Snow's best friend among the Night's Watch, and knows everything because he "read it in a book". Despite being a self-professed coward, Sam became the first person in thousands of years to slay an Other with an obsidian dagger. George Martin himself said Sam's based on Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings. Since then, he has started improving his combat skills and balls (in more ways than one for the latter, finding his spine and losing his virginity). He abandons the Night's Watch to help fight the dead and tell Jon who he really is, and winds up becoming the new Grand Maester by the end of the show.
*Eddison Tollett, ''Dolorous Edd'': Probably the most badass member of the Night's Watch. Responds to situations by making sarcastic jokes about them, and known for being a grim motherfucker in a setting of grim motherfuckers. In the show he [[Awesome|became the new Lord Commander]] while Jon was dead, but gave the title back to Jon when he was brought back to life, and then Jon handed it right back because he needed to go sort out Ramsay Bolton. Dies in Season 8 at the Battle of Winterfell. </div></div>

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'''Wildlings'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Groups of nomadic hunter-gatherer tribes who live north of the Wall. Mostly First Men by blood, they have been heading toward the Wall for the past decade with the reputed reemergence of the Others. Nomadic, aggressive, and very much believing in "might makes right", they do not get along with anyone south of The Wall since they view them as "Kneeling weaklings". Basically every Celtic/Scandinavian/barbarian stereotype combined.
*Mance Rayder, ''The King Beyond The Wall'': A Wildling orphan who was taken in by the Night's Watch, he became their best Ranger before he deserted to join his people. He united the Wildlings and lead them south to escape the Others. Also a trained bard, but that was not enough to save him from death in the show while he's merely MIA in the books.
*Tormund Giantsbane: Claims to have a ten-inch penis, and invites his enemies to use their mouths if they want to clean it. Cool as fuck old guy who [[Furry|fucks mother-bears]] in his free time. Tough as nails motherfucker who preaches the merits of using one's cock for everything. He teams up with Jon Snow for the fight against the White Walkers, then fucks off back to the north once the Night King is dead, making him one of the most sensible people on the show. He and Jon go off to be bros at the end of the show.
*Ygritte: Wildling woman who Jon Snow ends up falling for and who returns his affections. Has red hair which is considered lucky among the Wildlings. This being ''A Song of Ice and Fire'', she ends up dying because her worldview is not compatible with Jon's.
*Craster: A sick bastard, formerly a member of the Night's Watch turned polygamous isolationist. By the way, [[Grimdark|his current wives are his many daughters and granddaughters who he fucks regularly to have more children. Girls grow up to become more wives, boys get sacrificed to the Others]]. This keeps the Others at bay - and is implied to be a way the Others reproduce themselves, and that sanctuary is why the Night's Watch barely tolerates him. Fortunately, he's been killed off in the story and his offspring go their separate ways.
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'''Commoners, Knights, and Petty Lords'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Basically any character not associated with any of the Great Houses.
* Varys, ''The Spider'': The eunuch spymaster of Westeros. You can't take a shit in the Seven Kingdoms without Varys finding out where, when, and how watery or dry it was. He does this through paid informants and his "little birds", a spy network of children who sneak through the castle's passageways and air flues to eavesdrop on everyone. Stabs everyone in the back because he's actually trying to bring the Targaryens back in order to strengthen the realm. Dead in the show, having decided to try and put Jon on the throne instead of Daenerys; Jon says no, Tyrion sells him out when he realizes Jon absolutely means it, and Dany has Drogon barbecue him.
* Petyr Baelish, ''Littlefinger'': The Master of Coin (the ASOIAF equivalent of a treasurer) and the closest person the Game of Thrones world has to a [[Daemon Prince]] of [[Tzeentch]], up to even declaring "[[Chaos]] is a Ladder". A dangerous manipulator who manages to trick and steal his way to positions of lordship and wealth because no one takes him seriously, and stabs all the Lannisters in the back when they become inconvenient. As a child, he wanted Catelyn Stark and was tricked into thinking she wanted him when her sister Lysa fucked him while he was drunk. Challenged Catelyn's betrothed Brandon Stark, Ned's older brother who was murdered by Aerys, for her hand in marriage and got his ass kicked because he was a small skinny boy and Brandon Stark was a big strapping man, making that his start of darkness. The guy responsible, directly or indirectly, for the War of the Five Kings because he was the mastermind behind poisoning Jon Arryn, the capture and execution of Ned Stark, feeding several half-truths to Catelyn to motivate her to arrest Tyrion, and eventually Joffrey's death by having Dontos and Olenna Tyrell carry out the plan to kill Joffrey and letting Tyrion take the fall; but no one in the story knows this, not even Varys. People think he can pull gold out of thin air, but he's really been buying debt while letting Robert Baratheon's extravagances and Joffrey and Cersei's dipshittery pull the country into a serious debt of its own. So he's pledged himself to [[Chaos]] and destroying Westeros all because he couldn't have Catelyn as his girlfriend, though he changed his focus to her daughter Sansa now, making him a paedophile. Hasn't yet got his comeuppance in the books, but is currently dead in the show after he was out-gambitted by Sansa and killed by Arya. According to GRRM, he's based on the title character from the Great Gatsby.
*Gregor Clegane, ''The Mountain'': A 7' 8" 400 pound mass of [[Khorne|testosterone, muscles, steroid overdose and murderous RAGE]], Gregor is Tywin Lannister's top muscle. Killed his own father and sister and permanently scarred his brother. Hobbies include rape, arson, murder, and random torture; he's also been married a few times but not now with the implication he kept killing his wives. He played an important part in destroying the Targaryens by killing a couple of Rhaegar's kids in rather brutal fashion, then raping and murdering his wife. Spends a few novels doing Tywin's dirty work before a Trial by Champion leads to him dying after being poisoned by Oberyn Martell. Qyburn later resurrected him as... something... called "Ser Robert Strong", and is now even stronger, less prone to psychotic rages, and is completely obedient. He's based on accounts of French knight Gilles de Rais and maybe also the scriptural giant Goliath. Tortures Cersei's nun jailer to death in a brutal and unspecified fashion kills Qyburn during the Siege of King's Landing and then nearly kills his little brother, only for Sandor to tackle him through a collapsing wall and into a gigantic inferno that claims both.
* Sandor Clegane, ''The Hound'': Younger brother to Gregor Clegane, called the Hound because of his hound-face helm, his family's heraldry, and being the king's hired muscle without being a knight. He hates knights due to the hypocrisy of being a professional "noble warrior" but mostly since his monstrous brother is a knight, showing it's not so much of a noble promotion. Terrified of fire after Gregor put his head against a brazier for playing with one of Gregor's old toys when they were children, burning half his face, but he's still the second-strongest person in Westeros. A brutal anti-hero with a soft spot for Sansa, but a better person than his brother. After falling sick from Biter's nasty teeth, he ends up being a silent monk burying people in the Silent Isles. In the show, he joins the Brotherhood without Banners and goes north to help fuck up the White Walkers. As of Season 8, he's survived the Battle of Winterfell and is riding south with Arya to put the boots to Gregor. Dies killing his now undead brother in a pretty epic fight amidst the crumbling ruins of the Red Keep.
*Grand Maester Pycelle: A shrewd, dangerous man putting on a "harmless old man act" and a high ranking scholar from the science/medical guild the Maesters. The longest-serving member of the King's advisory staff, and is actually Tywin Lannister's biggest lackey. He convinced the Mad King to let Tywin in as Baratheon's armies were marching on the capital, where Tywin proceeded to sack the city and claim it for Robert. Gets his head bashed in by Varys in the books and murdered by Qyburn in the show.
* Qyburn: Formerly a maester, who was kicked out of the order for unethical experiments on the living (taking people and performing vivisections to be precise). Introduced as a part of a mercenary company serving Roose Bolton, which should be a red flag. He moves up in the world when he's sent to escort Brienne and Jaime back to King's Landing and ends with Cersei employing him to replace Pycelle as "science advisor" and eventually Varys's Spymaster. Serves Cersei loyally as long as she lets him indulge his sick experiments, serving as a black magic variety of the court mage. He has resurrected Gregor Clegane as... something. [[Fabius Bile]] if he traded his robot limbs, eugenics and power armour for necromancy. He overestimated his hold on Gregor and got his head caved in for it as of the second-to-last episode of the show.
*Barristan Selmy, ''The Bold'': Knight of the Kingsguard. Which Kingsguard? Take your pick. He's served pretty much every king since Aerys and understandably feels pretty bad about it. Another sad old man who pretty much just wants to die until he decides to go pledge his services to Daenerys. Even in his old age, he is considered one of the most dangerous men in Westeros. [[Fail|Dead in the show]] (to be fair they gave him a huge last stand), but [[Awesome|alive]] and [[Roboute Guilliman|appointed himself Daenerys' steward in her absence to try and fix Meereen's situation in the books]].
*Melisandre, ''The Red Witch'': A priestess of R'hllor, the god of fire. Proclaimed Stannis to be the messiah-king and is doing everything in her power to make sure he wins (considerable given that she can scry, make shadow baby assassins and set things on fire with her mind). She'd be pretty bro-tier if her god wasn't so vicious. As it stands she's kind of in the grey (in the books, the show seems to zig-zag on her being evil 'cos the showrunners seem to hate religion). Most of the people she set on fire deserved it, and she hasn't ''succeeded'' in killing any babies yet. Show version now dead from suicide via rapid ageing after ensuring the Living defeat the Dead.
*Jorah Mormont: A knight and son of Jeor Mormont, exiled for trying to sell poachers into slavery and eventually joining the exiles of House Targaryen. He is offered a pardon in exchange for spying on the Targaryens but ultimately decides to stay with them after falling in love with Daenerys. Unfortunately, he gets friend-zoned hard. Despite saving her life from an assassin while she was pregnant, she still votes him off the Khalassar after learning he was a spy. He still loves her and follows her in secret, though. In the show, he goes on a quest to prove himself to her and contracts the dangerous disease Greyscale (it's like the unholy lovechild of smallpox and leprosy), but he gets cured and is now back at her side. He dies protecting her at the Battle of Winterfell.
*Davos Seaworth, ''The Onion Knight'': A former smuggler and bannerman to House Baratheon. During Roberts Rebellion he ran a blockade with a cargo of contraband onions to a castle Stannis Baratheon was besieged in. In exchange for the food he had, Stannis knighted Davos, but Stannis's law-worshipping mindset compelled him to remove four digits from his left hand. Despite this, Davos has served Stannis with unquestioning loyalty, because Stannis knighting him gave his children a future. The fact that Stannis's war for the throne has ended up killing several of his sons hasn't dented his loyalty at all. Doesn't like Melisandre because he sees her as a user and her beliefs as brutal. He's a devout follower of the Faith of the Seven in the books and the first season of the show [[C.S Goto|but is clumsily retconned into an anti-religious atheist in later show seasons]]. In the show, he's now pledged to DA NORF and is basically Jon's Hand of the King, except he doesn't get a fancy pin. He survives the Battle of Winterfell and the Second Sack of King's Landing and becomes Master of Ships in the final episode of the show.
*Shae: A former camp follower and Tyrion Lannister's squeeze for most of the story. Fled from an abusive family and became a camp follower to earn a living. Seems to fall in love with Tyrion, but it turns out she's a gold-digging bitch. When Tyrion doesn't marry Shae she sells him out to Cersei for a better offer, then fucks Tywin when she realizes Cersei won't keep her promise. Tyrion found her in his father's bed and strangled her to death with a necklace for betraying him. The discovery of Shae's corpse in Tywin's bed - posthumously outing him as a whoremonger - upsets Cersei to the point she unpersons Shae.
*Bronn: A mercenary who acts as Tyrion's enforcer and personal killer until Cersei outbids him and he settles down with a little wife and title. Routinely kills knights by exploiting how arrogant and stupid they are even after becoming one himself. Only in it for the money, which he'll happily tell you himself. The only character other than Littlefinger to end every book in a better position than he started it. In the show, he makes the very sensible decision to sit out the fighting and wait for his promised castle (Riverrun if Cersei wins, Highgarden if Daenerys wins). He gets Highgarden and is named Lord Paramount of the Reach and Master of Coin in the final episode.
* Brienne of Tarth, ''The Beauty'': Surprisingly badass lady knight wannabe (since no women can be knighted), legendarily unattractive but still pretty idealistic despite the shit she gets for her looks. Fate frequently gives her the shit end of the stick, because no matter how hard she tries to finish her quests, she ends up failing or stuff happens that makes it impossible. Secretly crushes on Renly and unaware he's gay. After he dies, Brienne switches her loyalty to Catelyn and helps her bring Jaime to King's Landing as Tyrion promised Sansa's return in exchange for Jaime. She later developed a crush on Jaime. Things don't go well because Jaime lost his hand and the Red Wedding happened. Next, Jaime sends her out to find and keep Sansa safe to make good on Tyrion's promise, since he isn't the complete dick everyone thinks he is. Brienne ends up getting captured by Cat, now known as Lady Stoneheart and an insane undead, who was going to hang Brienne for working with Jaime. Brienne was spared at the last moment to capture/manipulate Jaime. In the show, she's now sworn to House Stark and gets knighted by Jaime just before the Battle of Winterfell and then she and Jaime hook up afterwards, only for him to take off and break her heart. She is now Lady Commander of the Kingsguard as of the final episode.
* Lyanna Mormont: A badass ten-year-old girl who inherits Bear Island after her mother and older sister die horribly in the Riverlands - at least if we are going by the show; in the book, her mother is still alive somewhere in the Neck and her older sister Alysanne is the de-facto head of House Mormont. Her activities include pimp-slapping bitches, leading men twice as old as her, and being completely loyal to the Starks despite all their misfortunes. [[Awesome|"Bear Island knows no king but the King in the North, whose name is STARK."]] She dies killing an undead giant at the Battle of Winterfell, which is pretty badass.
* Wyman Manderly, ''Lord Too-Fat-To-Sit-A-Horse'': The Lord of White Harbour and one of the few Northerners who worship the Seven. Fervently loyal to House Stark, he pays lip-service to the Iron Throne long enough for his eldest son to return home, all to mask a plan to restore the Starks to power, mostly by destabilising the Frey-Bolton alliance, building a navy, marshalling the forces of the lands east of the White Knife river, "losing" Freys in the wilderness and sending Lord Davos Seaworth to rescue Rickon Stark from Skagos. His favourite food is lamprey, although he has also developed a taste for Frey Pie. Also a remarkably graceful dancer, and can survive taking a knife to the throat.
** Wylla Manderly: Granddaughter to the above. Another badass little girl, her activities include openly declaring undying loyalty to House Stark and dying her hair green. She and Lyanna Mormont would probably be best friends if they met. [[Awesome|"The city is built upon the land [the Starks] gave us. In return, we swore that we should always be their men. Stark men!"]]
* Jon Umber, ''The Greatjon'': At first he seems to be your stereotypical, boisterous Northern Lord. However, he becomes one of Robb's most loyal supporters, being first to declare him as 'King in the North' after Ned's execution. Had his moment of awesome [[Awesome|when he killed and wounded four Freys at the Red Wedding, all the while being drunk and needing eight additional men to take him down.]]
* Beric Dondarrion, ''The Lightning Lord'': Minor lord who agreed to head an expedition to take out Gregor Clegane. This being Game of Thrones, however, his party is ambushed by the Mountain and is beaten rather badly, and he loses his life in the process. Thanks to his drunken Red Priest friend, however, he manages to come back not once, but eight times, and each time he comes back, he becomes more powerful, though at the cost of his memory. He now heads an outlaw faction of grimdark Robin Hood types called "The Brotherhood Without Banners", who are dedicated to punishing those who abuse and mistreat the smallfolk. Ironically, he's one of the few book characters to have died (permanently) in the books but remain alive in the show, except now he's dead for real as of the Battle of Winterfell.
* Thoros of Myr: Aforementioned drunken priest who is dedicated to R'hllor, though at first he doesn't really give a rat's ass about the Red God, as he prefers to party it up with wine and women, but after he 'accidentally' resurrects Beric, he becomes quite serious about his religion and vows to curb his excesses in drinking. Dies on a mission beyond the Wall to capture a wight (show-version).
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'''The Free Cities'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Nine city-states to the West of Westeros, for the most part, the old colonies of the Valaryian Freehold. Mostly they are ruled by Merchant Princes. They look down on the Westerosi for being a bunch of up jumped backwards war-mongering morons who are only a few silverware sets and maesters away from absolute barbarism. In turn, the Westerosi look down on the Free Cities as being money-grubbing effete cowards ruled by cheesemongers who use bribery, tall walls and dirty tricks to get ahead in the world.

* Illyrio Mopatis: A rich fat bastard and a Magister of Pentos. Old buddies with Varys and a bigtime schemer.
* [[Officio Assassinorum|The Faceless Men]]: A cult of shape-shifting assassins who worship The Many-Faced God of death based in the free city of Braavos that give up personal identity. They claim descent from escaped Valyrian slaves who considered death to be a better fate than perpetual slavery. Their mission hence became being servants of the Many-Faced God of Death. You can hire them to off your rivals, but they request a steep and equivalent price. Their motto is "Valar Morghulis": All Men Must Die.
* Xaro Xhoan Daxos: One of the thirteen leaders of the city of Qarth. A flamboyant, languid, bald rich man who looks after Daenerys while she stays in Qarth and gives her many gifts. He wants her dragons as much as anyone else and even tries to marry her despite his homosexual tendencies. He stops wanting the dragons later in the book series after seeing [[RIP AND TEAR|their work in Astapor]], and no longer wants her around as her anti-slavery stance is hampering his wealth, so he offers Daenerys ships to leave the area and declares war on her when she refuses. In the show, he's heterosexual, helps steal her dragons, fucks one of her handmaidens and gets locked in a vault for conspiring to have her killed. He's also black and fat in the show when he's white and lanky in the books, being Qartheen and all.
* Syrio Forel: The former First Sword of Braavos (aka the ruler's personal bodyguard) and later Arya's mentor in King's Landing. He teaches her the way of Braavosi fencing, called "Water Dancing", and sacrifices himself to save her from Lannister thugs, taking down at least six of them with a wooden sword. May have inadvertently set her on the path of becoming a badass assassin by telling her of his belief in the God of Death.

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'''The Dothraki'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Horse people who live in a country of endless grass plains referred to by others as the Dothraki sea. They only have one city, called Vaes Dothrak, which is less of a city and more of a place they all meet when important things have to be discussed. Have traits borrowed from several cultures, including Mongols and Native Americans, all filtered through European misconceptions of those cultures of course, such as the Dothraki's antipathy for heavy armour, despite the fact that the Mongols were very heavily armoured and also excelled as infantry, see the Battle of Leignitz. They fear the ocean because of its size and the fact that horses won't drink from it, calling it the "poison water".

* Khal Drogo: An Expy of <s>Genghis Khan</s> Yesukhei Baatyr (his son would have been the equivalent to Chinggis Khaan). Leads the largest Khalassar among the Dothraki. Despite being a barbarian warlord, Drogo is surprisingly intelligent and treats Daenerys well. After an assassin tries to kill her he promises to conquer Westeros for her and their unborn son and immediately starts raiding towns for slaves and ships. At one town he gets cut in a leadership challenge and Daenerys gets a captive wise woman to heal him. However, the woman hates him because his tribe destroyed her hometown, raped/slaughtered or enslaved her friends and raped her three times so she curses him to become catatonic (along with killing his unborn son), leading a devastated Daenerys to perform an arguable mercy kill by smothering him with a pillow. After she burns herself, her stillborn child and the wise woman on his funeral pyre, Daenerys survives and it brings her dragons to life. GRRM named Drogo after [[The Lord of the Rings|Frodo's father]].
* Daenerys' handmaidens.
** Doreah: Daenerys' handmaiden and a wedding gift from Illyrio. A woman from Lysene brought by her brother to teach her how to pleasure a man. In the book she dies of fever and starvation crossing a desert, in the TV show, she betrays Daenerys for [[Salamanders|Xaro's BBC]] and gets locked in a vault to starve to death.
** Irri: Daenerys' handmaiden who teaches Daenerys how to ride a horse. [[PROMOTIONS|Also pleasures Daenerys twice after catching her masturbating once]], yet this canonical girl-on-girl action was left out of the show. The character was even killed off there when she survived in the books, but in this case, it was because her actress' visa had expired rather than [[C.S. Goto|author railroading]].
** Jhiqui: Daenerys' handmaiden who teaches her the Dothraki language and squabbles with Irri over wanting one of Daenerys' bodyguards when he becomes a badass. Also dies in the TV show while staying alive so far in the books.

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'''Slavers Bay'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">A civilization of [[Stupid Evil]] slavers. The remains of a previous civilization that was once the big powerful empire thanks to having phalanxes of obedient, pain-resistant soldiers which Valyria conquered a long while ago because phalanxes don't do too well against motherfucking dragons. They are ruled by wealthy slave mongers who buy slaves, train them up to do specific things and generally are a bunch of stuck up, decadent, puppy-eating (literally) assholes. Basically a civilization so repugnant even most hippies will be cheering when Dany decides to conquer them.

* The Unsullied: Eunuch phalanx fighting slave soldiers trained the Spartan way to produce totally obedient infantry that never break ranks. They also don't feel pain due to drinking a special drink daily, and each one has to take a new name from the name box each day so they can't develop a sense of identity. At least until Dany "bought" the lot of them, had them sack the city which trained them, and freed them.
* Grey Worm: The Unsullied Commander and a no-nonsense badass. When given a chance to take a new name he keeps his slave name because it's the name he had when freed so he considers it lucky. He is completely loyal to Daenerys, considering her his saviour, and in the show, he falls in love with fellow freed-woman, Missandei. This being ASOIAF, however, he can only watch helplessly as his lover is beheaded in front of him by the Mountain. This drives him into a rage, and he eagerly takes part in the sacking of King's Landing in revenge for her death. After the war is over and both Daenerys and Cersei are dead, he takes the Unsullied forces to Naath, in order to fulfil his promise to Missandei that he'd protect her homeland.
* Strong Belwas: A fat but skilled eunuch gladiator. Loves liver and onions and referring to himself in the third person. Travelling companion/guide of Ser Barristan. Has an awesome scene where he beats the champion of Meereen then mocks the Meereenese by taking a shit in their direction and wiping his ass on their dead champion's cloak. Also saves Daenerys from eating poisoned sweets. [[FAIL|Left out of the show]].
* Daario Naharis: A Tyroshi mercenary captain who dyes his hair blue. Betrays his fellow commanders for Daenerys because he loves her as a queen. Fortunately for him, Daenerys loves him back and they pursue a romance for a time, though she doesn't marry him as she's still otherwise smart enough to know she has to save herself for a political marriage. Goes to Yunkai as a hostage in the war on Meereen. Also potentially a shapeshifter, if the show is to be believed.
*Missandei: A young slave woman with a remarkable talent for linguistics and one of the more empathetic people in this dark world, Missandei is freed by Daenerys during her campaign to liberate Slaver's Bay, eventually becoming one of her closest confidants and advisers. She falls in love with the Unsullied eunuch Grey Worm, but later is captured by Cersei and beheaded by the Mountain in front of all her friends, but not before telling her friends to burn the Lannisters to ashes.

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'''The Others'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">A mysterious race from beyond the Wall, known to [[newfag|HBO fans]] as "the White Walkers". Can be described as ice demons/snow elves with necromancy. Eight thousand years ago, they invaded Westeros during a decades-long winter known as "the Long Night". With an army of undead warriors, they proceeded to fuck Westeros up every which way to [[Sunday]] before the locals finally drove them out, established the Night's Watch, and built the Wall to keep them out. Like all fantasy aspects of ASOIAF, they are very cliched. In the TV series, it's revealed that they were created from human captives by "The Children", the pseudo-[[Elf]] fair folk race that lived in Westeros before humanity arrived, as an attempt to create a super-weapon. The idea was since humanity bred faster than the Children could keep up with, they would create icy [[lich]]-creatures that could create [[undead]] soldiers, and these would then wipe out all human life. Instead, it went disastrously wrong because it turned out that the Children actually couldn't control what they'd created, so the Others [[Ork|just want to exterminate '''all''' life.]]
* Night's King: A long time ago, when the Night's Watch was just barely getting set up, its Lord Commander, the thirteenth in line, decided to climb over the Wall and explore some. While in the woods to the north of the Wall, he found a beautiful [[Monstergirls|Other female]]. He fell in love with her, had [[/d/|sex with her on top of the Wall]], which somehow changed him into an albino version of [[Star Wars|Darth Maul]], and set himself up as King of the Wall, making everyone in the Watch his slaves and sacrificial fodder. Naturally, this didn't sit too well with the Starks and the Wildlings, and so they banded together to free the Watch and kick his ass, which they managed to do successfully. Now everyone thinks him as dead or a myth. In the HBO version of the story, this whole backstory is basically dropped; he was the very first White Walker ever created by the Children, and he decided to get back at them by wiping out all life. Also, whilst he was apparently beaten in the ancient past and sealed away behind the Wall, he's still "alive" and well, [[Daemonculaba|turning infant human boys into new White Walkers]]. Also, he can apparently raise up entire legions of undead, just by raising his arms and looking completely smug about it; unlike regular Others, who can just raise up maybe a village at most. Given that he's the resident [[BBEG|Dark Lord]] of the series, it makes sense that he can take down a dragon with seemingly little effort (a simple throw of his spear), and resurrect it to be his personal steed a la Arthas. Used it to blow a hole in the Wall and begin [[The End Times]] for Westeros. Now dead thanks to Arya's magic ninja haxx letting her kill the BBEG and his entire race and army of zombies in one blow.
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'''Gods and their followers'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> The world of ASOIAF has various religions and faiths abound, just like in real life. Similarly, they range between fucking awesome to utterly useless.

*[[Ecclesiarchy|The Faith of the Seven]]: The Catholic Church stand-in, which gets both sympathetic (books only) and unsympathetic (books and show) characters associated with it. Holds an anti-slavery stance. The god/s are considered seven aspects of one deity with three male aspects (The Smith, the Father, the Warrior), three female aspects (The Maiden, the Mother, the Crone) and an asexual one representing Death. The places of worship are called Septs, and their system includes Septons, nun-equivalents called Septas and a Pope equivalent called a High Septon. The High Septons all give up their names when they become one to confuse future historians.
** High Septon 1: A fat, greedy man who used the position for personal gain. He ended up being [[Grimdark|torn apart in a riot]], because the people resented that he had enough food to stay fat while they were starving.
** High Septon 2: Successor of High Septon 1. Chosen by Tyrion so the Faith would be loyal to the Lannisters. Only ''slightly'' corrupt, being a pro-Lannister yes-man. Murdered on Cersei's order in the book, while in the show he's retconned into a whoremonger who gets deposed by the Sparrows (see below).
** High Septon 3/The High Sparrow: Successor of High Septon 2. After the second High Septon died, the smallfolk burst into the meeting to pick a successor and ordered their chosen candidate to be put in charge when his original successor was caught whoremongering. He'd been a wandering preacher beforehand, and his feet were dark and gnarled from lots of walking. When he reaches the position he starts [[gets shit done|getting things done]]. Since he was appointed by a smallfolk religious movement called Sparrows, he's given the moniker "The High Sparrow". The nobility underestimates him, either due to having other matters or disregard for religious people, but he turns out to be smart, well-meaning and somewhat ruthless. Under the High Sparrow, he and the other clergymen sell their fancy clothes and decorations [[Noblebright|replacing them with simple wool tunics, using the money to buy food and clothes for the poor in King's Landing]]. He also has their Knights-Templar-equivalent reformed to [[Inquisition|protect the faithful and help them root out]] [[heresy]] and sin. He also outwits Cersei and has her arrested and tried for all her evil deeds. While Cersei's scheming does lead to Margaery's arrest, Cersei confesses to some crimes while concealing others, leading to Cersei taking a nude walk of penance in front of the entire city. After this, he somewhat reined in the nobles' politicking to actually look after the commoners and the Faith, though this does make some enemies. In the show, he and the Sparrows are [[C.S Goto|retconned]] from assorted smallfolk and clergymen tired of the nobles' lawlessness and power plays into one-dimensional stereotypes and thinly-veiled jabs at the Catholic Church [[Imperial Truth|in a shoe-horned anti-religion message]]. While they do arrest Cersei and Margaery like in the books, during the trial most of the Faith, including the High Sparrow himself, get blown to kingdom come when Cersei has her agents ignite a massive amount of magical napalm underneath the Great Sept.
* [[Old Ones|Old Gods]]: Native American/Japanese Kame/Druid/nature spirits that reside in places called Godswoods. Their powers are limited to the North, where the last remaining Godswoods remain, but they can grant gifted individuals awesome psychic powers like Warging (mind-controlling animals) and Greensight (Time Travel). For some reason, Martin claims they're based off the Norse Gods. Probably has to do with the way the Vikings made sacrifices to their gods, by hanging them in Ash trees, a symbol for the World Tree Yggdrasil. The Weirwood trees are sacred to the followers of the Old Gods in a similar way. Mostly worship of them is quiet and informal.
* R'hllor: The God of Fire and Light, and like the Old Gods, actually shows evidence for existing. [[/tg/ gets shit done|He gets shit done]] such as fire magic and Resurrection. Has a nasty habit for burning heretics, though. GRRM said this faith is roughly based (read: poorly modelled after) upon Zoroastrianism and Gnosticism. His nemesis is The Great Other: the god of cold and darkness, the leader of the Others, and prophesied to be defeated by the chosen one, or messianic figure: [[Star Child|Azor Ahai/The Prince That Was Promised]], a figure who is the prophesied warrior that will fight with the Great Other/Night's King during the Apocalypse. Interestingly enough, the prophecy may not refer to a single person, but three (Jon, Tyrion/Bran, and Daenerys). Supposedly, one of these three will also receive an [[Emperor's Sword|awesome flaming sword called "Lightbringer"]].
* Him of Many Faces: The god of the Dead of the religion whose followers are the [[Officio Assassinorum|Faceless Men]]. According to his cult of assassins, whom Arya joins, every other god is him in a different form and he requires his assassins to utterly forget their past identities in service to him. Has a heyday during the Battle of King's Landing and the Red Wedding. His followers are granted shapeshifting abilities and powers to be the ultimate assassins.
* Drowned God: Cthulhu combined with Odin. Runs an underwater Valhalla were all Ironborn go whey they either if they drowned at sea, the men die a manly death or the women die in childbirth.

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==The appeal of A Song of Ice And Fire==
Exactly what catches the eyes of [[Skub|a given fan/critic/lout who complains about how bad it is anytime the show is mentioned within earshot]] to ASOIAF and its TV adaptation varies from individual to individual. Still, there's a couple of major draws.

'''The Worldbuilding:''' The main reason why this series gets compared to [[The Lord of the Rings]], ASOIAF is literally ''drowning'' under the weight of its worldbuilding, being crammed as full of facts about fictitious regions, histories, cultures, dynasties and races as GRRM can fit it. Your mileage will vary on how ''good'' that info is, but there's plenty of info in it.

'''Mainstream [[Dark Fantasy]]:''' Dark Fantasy is not exactly a mainstream niche. ASOIAF stands out by deliberately trying to market itself to the mainstream, despite embracing an abundance of dark fantasy tropes; gratuitous violence, sexuality and sexual violence, moral ambiguity, political intrigue, and a willingness to suddenly kill off any character, even the most likeable or heroic of them.

'''[[Low Fantasy]]:''' On the surface, ASOIAF is an old-school Low Fantasy setting, being a medieval-tech world with the story openly focused on the mundane lives of people struggling for political power and though supernatural elements do exist, they tend to be used sparingly.

'''[[High Fantasy]]:''' But if you scratch the surface, ASOIAF is also a High Fantasy setting, which is always the more marketable of the two, with the big backstory about how the world is facing impending doom from an army of wintery [[fey]] and their [[undead]] minions. There are also non-evil higher powers working against them, but they get swept under the rug in the show. Also, [[dragon]]s. As the more marketable genre, it's also inevitably the more skubby one, for whatever that's worth.

'''[[Magical Realm|Gratuitous Sexuality]]:''' More a thing for the TV show than the book; the frequent scenes of nudity and sex in the early seasons were a ''big'' selling point for many people (the casting of people from the sex industry for some of these scenes also helped).

'''Not much in terms of generic fantasy tropes:''' Hate how almost every fantasy just has to have things popularized by Tolkien such as elves, dwarves, orcs and all that stuff? You're in luck because ASOIAF features none of them. It does have [[dragon]]s and [[undead]] though so if you hate them too, well...

==Oh Yeah, About The TV Show==
[[image:KnightsWhoSayFuck.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Yeah, pretty much.]]
After the first three books became hits, many Hollywood producers and directors had come to the sadistic neckbeard, asking him about making a movie adaptation. At first, he was reluctant, at best, due to the fact that a whole lot of his content would've been cut out to be fit into a movie trilogy (see the Lord of the Rings live-action films). Then, a couple of dudes, David Benioff and D.B/Daniel Brett Weiss (AKA D&D, or more accurately as of the final season, Dumb & Dumber), decided to contact him and asked him at a local restaurant about turning ASOIAF into a Television show produced by HBO, the top-rated soft-core porno channel. The story goes that George, before giving them his consent, asks them a very specific question (Who is Jon Snow's mother?). Satisfied with the response they gave, he gave them permission to start work on the show, which would be titled after the first book, ''Game of Thrones''. They would later go on to prove that this is not a good way of choosing who should adapt your work.

The television show casts several well-known performers, such as Sean Bean as Eddard, Peter Dinklage as Tyrion, Lena Headey as Cersei, and Charles Dance as Tywin. They have also cast some comparatively less well-known actors and even ones new to cinema, such as Sophie Turner (Sansa), Maisie Williams (Arya), Kit Harington (Jon), Iwan Rheon (Ramsay), Alfie Allen (Theon), and Richard Madden (Robb).

'''TL;DR'''

[[GM|Producers Dumb&Dumber-style change characters and railroad the plot at a whim,]] [[/d/M|the tits and ultraviolence spigot is opened even wider than the books,]] and most scenes are made for the actors to show off their skills at making their signature angry/murder/brooding/etc. faces.

Thus, book snobs seem to think that every episode post-season 3 is nothing more than Emmy-bait. Regardless of the fact Kit Harington still [[Fail|doesn't have an Emmy]], there's a valid contention in that regard, with the number of liberties taken overshadowing the initial appeal.

The final season was eventually revealed to be such a train wreck because Dumb & Dumber did not want to work on the series anymore and had let the success with the earlier seasons go to their heads. In their arrogance, instead of handing the reins to someone else, they decided to plan out their own ending and use it as an audition to Disney so they could write for Star Wars. By then, they'd run out of books to adapt, there was no superior writing for them to leech off of and there was no one to gainsay them in their echo chamber of a writer's room (even George himself was cut out). The result was absolutely shit writing that caused a glorious breakage in the [[skub]] dam that left [[Butthurt|many a fan's anus weeping]] (provided they weren't early seasons fans, book series fans, or any of the other assorted onlookers [[Lulz|taking part in the mightiest of keks]]) and, if anything proved <s>George's </s> Ramsay's quote at the beginning of the article true. Goddamn Dumb & Dumber, could you talentless faggots do any worse if you tried? Luckily, comeuppance came after them and Disney, having some sense, told them to fuck off with their Star Wars ideas after the backlash towards the final season.

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'''What about the final season?'''
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Long story short, the Army of the Dead is destroyed in an epic battle, where the ancient and super-powerful BBEG gets killed by some sleight-of-hand. Meanwhile, Daenerys has spent the last two seasons being stripped of her plot armour; she's lost most of her supporters - including one of her dragons - and has been forced to confront the fact that nobody in Westeros wants her around. Especially not the Northerners, where Sansa is basically playing the "Northern Independence Now!" movement to try and get her own bum in a throne after seven seasons of being a plaything for people with actual power. The kicker is she's fallen in love with Jon Snow, but he learns he's actually her nephew - and the fruit of a legitimate marriage between her elder brother Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark that was handled in secret. This discovery not only caused him to back away from her (because he's got Northerner values, so fucking his aunt squicks him out... not that it stopped him from doing it at least once), but also makes him a threat to her political standing, which is something Varys makes plans to exploit. When Tyrion found out Jon wouldn't back down, he told Danerys about it, for which she had Drogon burn Varys to ash. When she forces the survivors of the final battle to march on King's Landing, another of her dragons ends up dead and her only remaining friend captured and executed by Cersei. So she attacks King's Landing... and then, when her followers manoeuvre around her to get the city to surrender rather than die to the last, she snaps and burns most of the city to ashes. She then decides to continue ramming her head against the proverbial wall and embraces her personal narrative of herself as a divinely chosen hero-queen meant to "free" the world by conquering everybody, having lost interesting in just ruling Westeros around the same time she lost her fucking mind. Such is her insanity that Jon Snow ends up sticking a dagger in her heart rather than let her kill Sansa and Arya, who he knows will resist her.

Jon proceeds to somehow not get killed by her last surviving dragon who pretty much knows Jon killed his momma because plot reasons, and it destroys the Iron Throne ([[What|by accident, according to the showrunners]]) while chucking a tantrum over Dany's death before grabbing her body and flying off to parts unknown. This leaves everybody stuck trying to figure out what to do, [[The Empire (Warhammer Fantasy)|but ultimately they decide to replace a dynastic monarchy with an elective one]], and make Bran the new king because, hey, he's the 3-Eyed Raven and has the seer powers to see all of space and time, so he's the least worst option they have (he's also trying to find and take control of the aforementioned dragon). The North secedes from the Seven Kingdoms, but nobody gives a damn, and Jon Snow is formally banished to the Wall - where instead he wanders off into the wilderness with the surviving Wildlings, with the land showing signs of exiting its endless winter. [[The Lord of the Rings|Arya runs off to sail to the West,]] and Sansa is crowned Queen in the North.

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==GRRM and [[Your Dudes]]==
Want to make your own ASoIF setting for a role-playing game? Well, readers have enough room to fantasize about their own minor noble House (or kingdom during the Age of the Hundred Kingdoms).

A good example of what you could do is the House from the old [[/v/|"Telltale Game of Thrones"]], House Forrester. Their relationship to the canon is as follows:

House Forrester (lords of someplace in the Wolfswood) '''-> is sworn to ->''' House Glover (overall lords of the entire Wolfswood) '''-> is sworn to ->''' House Stark (rulers of the North).

There's also an actual tie-in tabletop RPG now, which uses its own system and looks kind of like [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]] with a heavy helping of resource-management strategy feel.
Players are assuming the role of a minor House to guide to glory, or, more accurately given the setting we're in, NOT to ruin utterly in a season or two, which would still be more than many A-list players mustered in canon. Each PC has a specific position within said House, and only the role of official Head is mandatory; the rest could be wife/children/brothers and sisters/all other kinds of siblings, bastards (with rules for obtaining the legitimate recognition), maesters, sworn/subservient knights, or most of anybody else. This naturally opens up near-infinite possibilities for families screwed up seven ways to high heavens, which would make Lannister's brand of infighting-slash-inbreeding look as sane as the High Septon.

The setting is also ill-suited for "adventures in Westeros" style of gaming for two reasons:
#In the grim darkness of low fantasy, a roaming nobody with no banner to talk about, no House allegiance, no nothing isn't generally treated to a Tavern With Quest Givers, but rather more to a Tavern Where You Are Shanked For Your Sword And Boots And Dumped At The Nearest Forest. Heck, even the big wheelers and dealers are routinely seen invited to the latter when they are slow to properly introduce themselves.
#Working on your initially-puny House will quite realistically involve thy neighbours first and foremost, then liege lords from the higher House yours is sworn to, and on occasion shopping around for an advantageous marriage - there simply ain't gonna be that much spare time to "travel to see places". Both of these are also why tourism wasn't a very popular pastime in medieval Europe and why those who were "living on the road" usually enjoyed the lowest social standing.

A note to aspiring Lords: do NOT, under any circumstances, allow your "combat-optimized" siblings an unsupervised minute in a social setting. Game's "social combat" system is a thing more brutal than the physical one, and it takes a socially-optimized character all of a few minutes to mindfuck one who is not (read: everyone but dedicated diplomats and Heads of the Houses, and not every one of the latter, to boot, as illustrated by several amazing boneheads in canon) into believing pretty much anything short of Grumpkins and Snarks. Stupid NPCs or a stupid GM will make said mindfuck obvious, allowing you to "mindfuck 'em back" without abuse of OOC info; cunning ones will not.

On a side-note; GRRM is said to take a dim view of fanfiction, saying it kills creative ability. This is kind of a double-edged statement, since a lot of George's characters here are either rehashes of his characters from previous works, references to other fictional characters (like Littlefinger and Samwell being based on Jay Gatsby and [[The Lord of the Rings|Samwise Gamgee]]), walking tropes (such as Ned Stark and Robb Stark being the "[[TVTropes|Honor Before ]] [[Lawful Stupid|Reason]]" characters) or historical references (such House Lannister ripping off House Lancaster and House Tyrell being totally-not-House-Tudor - to the point that Margaery Tyrell is played by Natalie Dormer from "The Tudors" TV show). While this makes everything he wrote just another...fanfiction, and his disapproval hypocritical. Still, given the "creative" output of the average neckbeard, he does have a point. Ironically he sold the rights to make a TV series of the books to HBO, who then went on to make a glorified fanfic.

==Games==
[[image:AGot-2nd-ed-cardfan.png|thumb|250px]]
Like any fantasy author who finds themselves unexpectedly in the warm embrace of commercial success Martin quickly licensed the shit out of his setting, spawning everything from resin miniatures to replica great swords. While most of this is worthless junk to foist on [[Neckbeard|obsessive fanboys]] /tg/ has agreed that a few of the games are made of win. The first two are a collectable [[CCG|card game]] put out in 2002 by [[Fantasy Flight Games]] and a [[risk]]-esque board game that followed shortly after in 2003. One of [[White Wolf]]'s subsidiaries also put out a d20 RPG in 2005 but it quickly tanked because, come on, White Wolf. Martin since wrested the rights back and developed a new version with Green Ronin games.

Now let's have some serious talks about the Game of Thrones games because they have become some sort of endless source of amusement and frustration for the gaming fanbase. Game of Thrones is roughly speaking the second franchise with the most licensed board games, after star wars, and some of them have acquired quite a legendary status and a fanbase that goes beyond the book or series fans.

The great juggernaut for all the ASOIAF based games is Fantasy Flight Games

First and foremost we have the Game of Thrones board game, a game that after two editions still ranks high in the BGG top 100 board games, and has recently had an expansion. The Game of Thrones board game has become some sort of meme for the modern board gamers and it could be considered the equivalent of a more advanced risk, in which dice and blank character got replaced by a very flavourful and brutal combat system and a lot of thematical mechanics fueling the engine. Overall this game has been associated with concepts such as requiring maximum player count to really be entertaining, having an amazing amount of length and depth and being a very faithful representation of the political feeling the series inspired. Almost any boardgamer or wargamer worth his salt has played this game and enjoyed its highs, its lows and the amazing amount of frustrations it brings. This is probably the most well known of all the ASOIAF games and it was released way before Game of Thrones was a cultural phenomenon back in 2003.

Another game that bears mention, both for its excellent mechanics and its historical significance is the game of thrones card game. It is one of the most balanced card game experiences you can get, also full of flavour and with quite a great amount of balance and non-linear thinking. The best part is, unlike other card games, the game has a "living card game" release format, in which players know exactly what each booster pack brings and can buy cards in a more responsible manner rather than playing bingo and hoping to get a rare card. Also, the sole core set already provides more replayability than some fully-fledged board games.

Finally, the last game to mention in the FFG venerable trilogy of games is "Battles of Westeros", arguably the most ambitious and least successful of the three. Battles of Westeros was a fully-fledged wargame that used the Memoir 44/battlelore rules as a base, but then evolved into its own by introducing mechanics such as commanders, tactic cards and very creative scenario rules. Miniatures were made in 15 mm and for their time and scale they were quite detailed, some commanders are real standouts(I´m looking at you Robb Stark(with his wolf jumping at his side) and Rickard Karstark). Thanks to its scale, the game was able to provide players with a great number of options and units at a fraction of the price of other board games. With a core set that was already stacked with units and variety and then faction-specific expansions that added several more units and commanders. The game also came with scenario books that provided narrative play with quite creative rule variants, such as storming palisades, having decoys in escort missions and bombarding enemies with catapults. One scenario even tried to bring to life the battle of the blackwater (the hybrid invasion of kings landing by Stannis the Mannis). The game was incredible and quite a creative wargame, but its main issue was that the setup time was just terrible. Incredibly complex and tiresome when compared to the actual gameplay time.

And then the miniature producing Kickstarter juggernaut CMON decided to produce its own wargame, with AMAZING miniatures.

As this is CMON the game began with a [[https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/cmon/a-song-of-ice-and-fire-tabletop-miniatures-game]kickstarter], and after that, the game has had at least 2 dozen more releases with 3 more factions added.

The game has some mechanics taken from rank and file games such as KOW combining them with mechanics taken out of "battles of Westeros" particularly the tactics deck.
A new page is in the works [[ASOIAF Miniature Game]]

==Books==
*''A Game of Thrones''
*''A Clash of Kings''
*''A Storm of Swords'': Split into 2
*''A Feast for Crows'': half the characters, the point where the series goes down the toilet
*''A Dance with Dragons'': split into 2 the first is about the other half of the characters, and manages to pick things up a bit
*''The Winds of Winter'': First rumored to be ready by late 2018. Though he has shared chapters of the book, it's still not out despite being given an official release time of summer 2020. It might happen by 2030 if we're really lucky
*''A Dream of Spring'' : Unreleased and unlikely to ever be.
** GRRM will most likely die before writing this
*''The Dunk and Egg Series'': A story about a landless hedge knight travelling across Westeros with a Targaryen squire, so he can teach him how not to be an asshole to peasants.

==On The "Grimdarkness" of the Setting==

One important note: While the setting is usually held to be "Grimdark", it is also very true to Real Life in its nastiness, with real consequences for assholes.

For example: The King can order the execution of the head of the leading noble family of the North, for essentially no reason, but now he doesn't have hostages to exchange when their armies come after him seeking revenge. (And all this is modelled on various occasions where more or less '''exactly''' this kind of thing happened in Real Life Medival Europe.)

In other words: Truely heinous shit goes on, and there's nothing ''stopping'' that kind of shit... but there are ''consequences'' to that kind of shit that act as an effective counterbalance against being seen to do that kind of shit to the smarter nobles in the kingdom.

Whether the setting fully qualifies for "Grimdark" is a matter for debate, in other words.

==See Also==
*[[/tg/ Song of Ice and Fire Houses]]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U7NpSubAJQ Weiner, Weiner weiner]

[[category: Literature]]

A Song of Ice and Fire

2021-02-13T14:59:15Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* House Bolton */

[[image:Game_of_Thrones_Title-DVD.png|300px|thumb|WIENER PARTY! WIENER PARTY!]]

{{Spoilers}}
{{Grimdark}}
'''Warning: This article contains so many spoilers we're ruining books that haven't even been released yet.'''

{{Topquote|If you think this story has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.|Ramsay Bolton, nailing the grimdark theme of this series}}

'''''A Song of Ice and Fire''''' (more better known as '''''Game of Thrones''''') is a [[Grimdark]] fantasy book series for people who hate fantasy. Its central themes include [[Tzeentch|political Machiavellian scheming]], [[Khorne|ultraviolence]], [[Slaanesh|incest/sex with exposition]], and [[Nurgle|everyone trying to survive in such a Crapsack World of perpetual suffering]]. Thus it has become one of the most popular series of our generation and its author, [[George R. R. Martin]], has been praised for his highly realized world and gritty low fantasy style. He was even called "the American [[Tolkien]]" by <s>Time magazine</s> gormless idiots who lump diametrically different writers together for no other reason than that they're both fantasy authors, which would probably explain its sudden spike in popularity following the TV show (at least [[Skub|to a point, anyway.]]) The great joke of an actual World War veteran writing a story about heroic knights and elves being compared to and contrasted with a conscientious objector who writes [[edgy|dark (ranging from edgy to grimderp)]] fantasy is not lost on most.

The series itself is set on the [[Original character, do not steal|totally not medieval European ripoff]] realm of Westeros as it is wracked by a massive succession war drawing its realms into conflict. Everyone's picking up the pieces from the pervious war until one family's bid for power starts another war (book one), A bunch of dudes declare themselves kings (book two), they're burning the continent down in their scramble for power, and somehow all the fuck-ups managed to lose anyway (book three). Just when the guys who lost the least start thinking they get to rule over the remaining chaos, more fuck ups happen and more dudes show up (book four). Sadly, winter has finally come and, unbeknownst to most people, [[Thousand Sons|evil ice wizards leading soulless undead]] [[Alpha Legion|assumed to be only myths by most people]] are about to invade the continent from the north. By the fifth book, things are going and/or will go to shit even for the bad guys.

According to a leaked fan conversation, George R. R. Martin jokingly stated the series would end with an epic cock-slap fight between Samwell Tarly and Jaime Lannister.

TL;DR: [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Roses War of Roses] redux, with a side helpin' of <s>cliched fantasy</s> George's old sci-fi writing plots given a fantasy overhaul and [[/d/]]-lite.

[[ASOIAF Miniature Game|Miniature game has their own page now]]

==Characters==
{{cleanup}}
Since these books have some thousand named characters, you won't remember most of them without an obsessive disorder over details.
Here's a relatively shortlist (mostly based on the TV series rather than the books, but seems to randomly switch between the two) for the characters you'll care about.

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===House Stark===

''"Winter Is Coming"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Honourable, bro-tier northerners who always [[Space Wolves|compare themselves to direwolves]]. They have a tendency towards [[Lawful Stupid]] that proves to bite them in the ass due to naivete about how [[Tzeentch|Westerosi corrupt politics actually works]]. They're also arguably the protagonists of the setting. Basically Scotland and/or the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_york House of York].
* Eddard Stark, ''The Quiet Wolf'': Patriarch, lord and POV death-puppet. Not nearly as stupid as everyone tries to pretend, but still a dead man walking.
* Robb Stark, ''The Young Wolf'': Shiny, [[Lawful Stupid]] King Arthur-like hero. After waging a successful war to avenge his murdered father, he was betrothed to a noblewoman but he ended having comfort sex with a virgin noblewoman which may have been arranged by her scheming bitch mother, while in softcore porno he got the hots for a commoner. Cacks it nastily: he got his head cut off and his pet's wolf's head stuck on his body, which was paraded around while his enemies chanted "HERE COMES THE KING IN THE NORTH!" In other words, he's a Scottish [[Roman Empire|Hannibal Barca]].
* Sansa Stark: Useless teenage girl extraordinaire at the start of the series with dreams of marrying a prince and "having lots of babies", but gets shat on hard by reality. Becomes Littlefinger's replacement goldfish when Catelyn's no longer around, her father got killed and her best friend was sold as a sex slave, and ended up in the worst relationship we can possibly imagine with King Joffrey. [[Grimdark|Even got deflowered via rape by Ramsey Bolton]] and married to him before managing to escape with the help of others. Currently acting as a co-ruler to her brother/cousin Jon Snow, and has learned much from her suffering, allowing her to kick Littlefinger out of the Great Game via throat slitting. While in the book Littlefinger is/was setting her up at House Arryn to claim the Vale and the North, the show version becomes QUEEN IN DA NORF in the final episode.
* Arya Stark: Little tomboy assassin. Has a kill list, but doesn't get to use it so long as she is an amnesiac apprentice of [[Officio Assassinorum|the Friendly Neighborhood Assassins Guild]]. After breaking away (in the TV series) from the Faceless Men she heads back to Westeros to get revenge on a LOT of people, giving her one of the highest kill counts in the series. Is currently back with her sister Sansa, acting as a general "troubleshooter". Kills the Night King like a fucking champion [[Skub|(or, alternatively, in a nonsensical plot twist)]] in Season 8, and is now riding south to add Cersei to her kill count. Instead, the Hound talks her out of it and she decides to sail into the unknown west.
* Catelyn Stark (nee Tully): A woman who trusts the wrong people at the worst time, causing a lot of misery. Gets killed along with Robb, then comes back (books only) as an undead witch bent on killing all the Boltons, Freys, Greyjoys, Lannisters... pretty much everyone she thinks was tangentially involved in betraying her and her family, or somebody who just pissed her off.
* Bran Stark: Intelligent little boy, named after the founder of House Stark, Brandon the Builder (basically Tony Stark combined with [[Leman Russ]]). He was crippled in the first sign of major [[GrimDark]]. Has prophetic dreams and becomes a [[druid]]. In the TV series, fucks things up by alerting the Others to where he's hiding, which gets all of the Children, his loyal wolf, the Three-Eyed Crow and Hodor killed. For good measure, turns out to have accidentally ''caused'' Hodor to become, well, Hodor, as he was using his druid powers to figure out why Hodor is only able to say Hodor, resulting in Hodor's gruesome death-by-zombies being beamed directly into young! Hodor's brain. He's now the Three-Eyed Raven and likes going around being creepy as fuck and generally weirding people out. Becomes King of the <s>Seven</s> Six Kingdoms in a hilariously nonsensical plot twist in the finale.
* Rickon Stark: Four years old at the start, turning into a real little [[Barbarian]] from not being raised properly, because everyone who would have raised him was dead or missing. In the show, he ends up hanging out at the Umbers, then is handed over to Ramsay as a prisoner when Smalljon becomes afraid of the Wildlings living north of him (who were invited by Jon Snow to fight the Zombie Apocalypse), and finally dies via arrow in a sick game of "dodge the missiles" courtesy of Ramsey.
* Jon Snow, ''The White Wolf'': A bastard living in the Stark household before leaving for the Night's Watch (basically [[The Last Chancers|Colonel Schaeffer]] with more convicted rapists under his command) and excels there because nearly every one of his fellow recruits are peasants who have never had a formal days of training while Jon has had the serious training afforded to all lords. After he takes over by becoming the Watch Commander secures and alliance with the Wildlings, ancient barbarian enemies of the Night's Watch, because when the end of the world is coming you tend to think outside the box. Currently revived by R'hllor in the series after being stabbed to death by the senior members of the Watch. Isn't actually Eddard's bastard son, but rather the legitimate son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, meaning that he is, in fact, the rightful heir to the Iron Throne. The new KING IN DA NORF according to his supporters after he killed Ramsay Bolton and took back Winterfell, and is also currently hooking up with his own aunt. He turns on Daenerys once he realizes she's lost it and kills her in the throne room. The Unsullied want his head, but instead, King Bran exiles him to the Night's Watch and he fucks off into the far north to live with the Free Folk.
* Hodor: Hodor. Hodor, Hodor, Hodor. <s>An enormous and possibly retarded stable boy, and Bran's faithful steed.</s> Hodor. Ok, in all actual seriousness, this guy is probably one of the most tragic figures in this series (and that's saying something). [[Grimdark|The guy basically received horrible visions of his own death fighting a horde of zombies, buying time for his friends to escape by literally holding the door shut as he was hacked apart]]. This causes him to suffer a psychiatric break, leading him to develop Immature Personality Disorder and his only speech is to repeat a garbled phrase of his friend's last request "hold the door" for all of his adult life; the logic here is that "hold the door" devolves into "hol' th' door" and eventually "Hodor". You now feel bad for at laughing at the guy.
* Osha: A Wildling woman who surrendered to the Starks and becomes their servant in exchange for not getting killed. Now dead in the show thanks to Ramsay's dickery.</div></div>

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===House Targaryen===

''"Fire and Blood"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The former Dragon kings and rulers of Westeros, [[Eldar|fair-haired purple-eyed beautiful people]] who have descended from the [[Dark Age of Technology|ancient technologically-advanced superpower]] of [[Roman Empire|Valyria]], which collapsed because of [[Fall of the Eldar|their colossal hubris]]. After the anarchic [[Age of Strife|Century of Blood]], the Targaryen patriarch Aegon I, instead of reconquering the lost cause of Essos and of Valyria's former empire, looked towards the rather primitive continent of Westeros, and its squabbling Seven Kingdoms, [[Great Crusade|to establish his own Imperial dynasty and unify the Realm]]. Aegon I is essentially the Low Fantasy version of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_the_Conqueror William the Conqueror] and/or the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]], with a little dash of [[/d/|incest]].

[[Rules Lawyer|Thanks to a loophole]], the Targaryens were immune to the moral objections relating to incest. Common sense (and common decency) took back seat to a time-honoured policy of [[/d/|catastrophic inbreeding]], which made a number of problems. Aegon I married his older and younger sisters and had several kids with each, which would be the start of another Targaryen tradition: the occasional succession crisis. The inbreeding would also lead to a line of almost alternatingly great and lunatic kings, culminating in Aerys "The Mad King" Targaryen and a palace coup. Eventually, the lineage was banished to Essos after a brutal civil war, the remnants trying to gather armies to retake the Iron Throne which they see as rightfully theirs. Basically a family of inbreeding girly-men with a massive sense of superiority and as arrogant as they come, forgetting that most of what they accomplished was due to the fact that only they had dragons. Still, they occasionally did have genuinely good people like Aegon V (aka Egg), Jaeherys I the Conciliator, his wife Good Queen Alysanne and complete badasses like Brynden Bloodraven and Baelor Breakspear.
Pseudo-Romans and/or the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Normandy House of Normandy].

* Aerys II, ''The Mad King'': [[Kharn|A pretty fun guy to be around]]. Had a psychotic fascination for fire, which extended to being a psychotic fascination for burning traitors, a category of people that eventually grew to include anybody he disliked for any reason, anyone who disagreed with him, and a few people who were unlucky enough to be caught in the crossfire. [[Goge Vandire|Teamkilled by his bodyguard Jaime for planning to burn the city down with everyone inside it, and even refused to accept his death until he actually died]].
* [[Mary Sue|Daenerys Targaryen]], ''Stormborn'': She was sold by her brother to a barbarian leader [[Genghis motherfucking Khan|Khal (warlord) Drogo]] in exchange for the promise that he'd use his Khalassar (Warband/tribe) to conquer Westeros. She found her self esteem as his wife, then her husband killed her idiot brother Viserys and promised to conquer the world for Daenerys, making her a full-fledged badass barbarian war queen. Unfortunately, her husband died when [[Derp|Daenerys trusted one of the slaves whose town Drogo had pillaged and burnt to heal an infected wound of his]] and his horde fell apart (though the book is somewhat ambiguous as to whether the slave did kill Drogo). Then she hatched three dragons (completely by accident when she tried to commit suicide) bringing them back from extinction, and now everyone wants to marry her because she is now one of the most powerful people around due to said dragons and being good-looking (in the books this is by the age-of-consent in Westeros standards, where girls are women when they start getting their periods and boys are men at age 13). [[Gets shit done]] except the entire fifth book, in which she mopes around about wanting to marry an annoying, flamboyant mercenary instead of saving herself for political marriage. After banging the flamboyant mercenary, she later marries a Meereenese noble who guarantees he can get her some peace (more likely [[Just As Planned|just as he planned]]). She also does nothing while insurgents kill her men, a horde of plagued refugees spread disease to her city and standing idly by while an enemy army besieges her walls, all for realistically political reasons because the world is a horrible place. Learns how to train her dragon. While she's stuck with a Khalassar in the books, in the TV series she made it to Westeros invading the place with an army of elite hoplites, a massive horde of Dothraki and her dragons. By the time she gets to King's Landing she's taken significant losses, including two of her dragons, and is fucking her nephew (Jon Snow). Has officially gone Mad Queen as of S8E5, wherein she burned most of King's Landing after the city attempted to surrender. Jon kills her in the series finale so that she won't go around burninating the rest of the world.
* The dragons: The three dragons that Daenerys hatched. They're wyverns that breathe fire, [[Awesome|have blood hot enough to melt steel]], and [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|cook their meat before eating it]]. Naturally, some of the coolest things in the story.
** Drogon; named for her late husband, Khal Drogo. Black and Red, the biggest and [[Gork|most aggressive dragon]]. Starts eating people and then escapes, leading to the other two getting imprisoned. Interrupts a gladiator tournament, killing a lot of people before being whipped by Daenerys into flying her to a Khalassar that broke off from her husband's after his death. Is now the last dragon standing after Viserion bites it north of the Wall and his undead body is put down at Winterfell and Rhaegal gets shot down over Dragonstone. Takes Dany's body, destroys the Iron Throne and fucks off to who knows where after Dany is killed.
** Rhaegal; named for the first of her dead brothers, Rhaegar. Green and gold, the [[Mork|cunning one]] and the loudest (with a roar "...that would have sent a hundred lions fleeing,"). Kills Quentyn Martell when the latter is trying to goad Viserion (see below). After breaking out of jail with Viserion they go "all your bases are belong to us" on Meereen, killing people and taking over the pyramid of a loyal family as his lair. Last seen playing "sack the town" with Viserion in the books. Is now dead in the show thanks to Euron Greyjoy and some Diabolus ex Machina bullshit.
** Viserion; named for her other brother Viserys. White and gold and the [[Vulkan|friendliest]] (as dragons go, he still eats people). Dug cave for himself in his jail then moved into another pyramid after his and his brother's great escape. Gets killed by the [[Vampire Counts|Night's King in the show via a magic spear, then his corpse is reanimated to be the Night King's zombie dragon steed]] and blasts a hole in the famous Wall, allowing the armies of snow elves and zombies to start flooding Westeros. Now perma-dead thanks to the Night King biting it.
* Viserys Targaryen, ''The Beggar King'': Daenerys' physically abusive older brother. Best known for being a bully with incestuous lust for her, and an arrogant and incompetent fuck with a massive sense of entitlement. He eventually got himself killed for being an all-around jerk and whiny idiot, which culminated in him threatening his sister and unborn nephew with a sword while drunk in a sacred Dothraki place where weapons and bloodshed are forbidden on pain of death (execution is done by bloodless death - having a scarf wrapped tight around the neck and being drowned in a barrel). Daenerys' husband [[awesome|poured molten gold over his head and called it his promised crown, also ensuring his death didn't technically shed any blood in their sacred place]].
* Aegon Targaryen, ''Aegon VI'': Daenerys' nephew, the son of her brother Rhaegar. Been hiding in Essos for the entire length of the series, but recently raised an army of Westerosi exiles and threw them all a massive Welcome Home party with rape and pillage. Wants to marry his aunt because she has dragons, and might not actually be a member of House Targaryen if you believe some fans. He can actually count past 6, can multiply numbers, can read different language and has a minor understanding of geometry thus cementing him as one of the most educated people in this overwrought series. Can also do his own laundry.
* Brynden Rivers ''Bloodraven'': A Targaryen bastard who came to prominence about a hundred years before the series as sort of sorcerer, he later became known as the "Three-Eyed Raven/Crow" after encountering the Children of the Forest, and uses his powers to help advert the Long Night and train Bran. He's described as having long, white hair, missing an eye, bound to a tree, knows all and sees all, associated heavily with ravens and omens... [[Vikings|yeah, he's very much Odin, come to think of it.]]</div></div>

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===House Lannister===

''Hear Me Roar"/"A Lannister Always Pays His Debts"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">[[Monopoly|Westeros' richest family]], proud, pompous, selfish and fabulous assholes. Not much of a martial tradition but if you cross them [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7t7cnwlOgY they will fucking cut you]. You can tell they are the bad guys because they have an army of sick fucks, including a zebra-riding mercenary band and 7' 8" Khornate Champion <s>not-Goliath</s> Gregor Clegane. House Lancaster combined with the House of Rothschild and the Mafia.
* Tywin Lannister, ''The Lion of Lannister'': The Godfather, head of the house, and obsessed with his reputation as a Magnificent Bastard extraordinaire. Lawful Evil Personified. He was a most feared general whose greatest achievement was [[Exterminatus|erasing House Reyne from existence]], which was immortalised in his own sweet-yet-creepy-as-fuck theme song (The Rains of Castamere) that became used as a warning against anyone standing against him. During his tenure as Hand of the King (i.e. Prime Minister), he was a political genius who operates as the true power behind the Iron Throne, keeping the realm stable and prosperous despite the stupidity of Aerys II and Joffrey. However, despite all of his achievements, he was an [[Emperor|absolutely terrible father]], who treats his children as nothing more than tools to further his political agenda. He is completely blind to the incestuous relationship his two oldest children had, and hated Tyrion and made his life a living hell for very poor reasons. He humiliated Tyrion whenever it wouldn't threaten the family's reputation, berated Tyrion for being a whore-monger despite secretly being one himself, [[Grimdark|tried to get him killed multiple times]], and as the capstone of awful parenting, he taught Tyrion not to marry commoners after he married one called Tysha - by forcing Tyrion to watch Tysha get gang-raped, forcing him to rape her too and then annulling their marriage. The only person Tywin truly loved was his wife. He eventually gets his comeuppance when Tyrion finds out the truth about the Tysha incident and kills him with a crossbow, all while mentioning that out of all his children, Tyrion was the most alike to Tywin himself. He's based on [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Neville,_16th_Earl_of_Warwick Warwick the Kingmaker].
* Joanna Lannister: Tywin's late wife and first cousin, meaning the next three characters are inbred as well, ironically. Dies giving birth to Tyrion, which is part of why Tywin hates him, though Cersei hates him for other reasons. Caught wind of Cersei and Jaime's incestuous tendencies, but she died before she could tell Tywin. It is implied that her ghost visits Jaime in a dream and mourns the current state of her family.
* Cersei Lannister, ''Cunt Queen'': Tywin and Joanna's first child. Twin sister to Jaime Lannister and wife to King Robert Baratheon. She fucks her brother Jaime all the time and had three of his children, whom she passed off as Robert's to grab power. She is a massive narcissist who thinks of herself as "female Tywin" and hence seeks to rule Westeros as the Queen, and will do anything to keep her power... even when [[Abbadon the Despoiler|most of her plans end up becoming utter failures]]. Crazy as all fuck and prophesied to be killed by the "little brother." This is because of a prophecy a Gypsy made when Cersei was a child that she'd be a beautiful queen, lose everything, her children would die before her, and the "Valonqar" would kill her. Though that does explain why she hates Tyrion as hard as all fuck, [[Just As Planned|the exact translation of the term]] that was used is "younger sibling", and not necessarily her sibling, which opens the door to all sorts of characters who hate the fuck out of her. Since Jaime is technically younger by a few seconds, him killing Cersei would be an interesting twist not without buildup. Possibly the Gypsy was messing with her head because of what a bitch Cersei was being to her; something Cersei never grew out of. Cersei is currently alive only because Varys wants her to be, [[Just As Planned|as she's a terrible queen who'll destabilize the realm enough for him to bring back the Targaryens]]. She was completely shaved, stripped of power in all but her royal heritage and forced to do a nude walk of penance throughout the city by the High Sparrow (ASOIAF Pope equivalent) after he uncovered her crimes. Now she's waiting for her hair to grow back and maybe thinking of revenge. She gets it in the show by blowing up the Sept (ASOIAF church) with everyone she doesn't like inside it, having her cousin killed near the Wildfire then capturing the nun who was her jailer and [[Grimdark|leaving her to be tortured to death by zombie Gregor Clegane]]. She is in short Thanquol disguised as a beautiful blonde woman. Gets anticlimactically squashed by a collapsing ceiling along with Jaime during Daenerys's assault on King's Landing. (her biggest issue? to don't die sooner, for the seven's sake!)
* Jaime Lannister, ''The Kingslayer'': Younger twin brother (by about three seconds) to Cersei Lannister and commander of the Kingsguard. He loves his sister in every sense of the word and had three children with her. Killed the last king despite his oath, and is widely hated for it, even though everyone agrees that dying was a massive improvement for Aerys. The reason for this betrayal was that Aerys had a huge stockpile of Acme Brand Magic Napalm stockpiled under the city, ready to be set off the moment a siege broke through the town walls, and Jaime's options were to let it happen or kill Aerys before the crazy fuck got ''everybody'' killed. His desire to openly love his sister and win the respect he feels he deserves eventually causes Cersei to reject him. Starts off as an arrogant douche [[Grimdark|and tried to murder Bran Stark, but accidentally crippled him instead]]; he becomes otherwise quite bro-tier besides the whole wants-to-fuck-his-sister thing, though he grows out of ''that'' as well when he realizes what a bitch she is and that there's plenty of women who want his jock - even the hunky Brienne isn't that bad looking. Thoroughly humbled to boot after learning a few hard lessons, losing his sword hand, and having some time to rethink his life. Also, the only person in his family who treats Tyrion well, along with one of his aunts and two dead uncles. Essentially, a more incestuous and douchey Blood Angel. In the books, he is currently being lured into a trap by Lady Stoneheart. In the show, he has finally told Cersei to get fucked after realizing that she has well and truly lost it, and is riding north to help fight the White Walkers. He survives the Battle of Winterfell, hooks up with Brienne, and then rides south [[Derp|because he just can't let Cersei go.]] Winds up getting shanked by Euron Greyjoy and dies [[Fail|via collapsing ceiling]].
* Tyrion Lannister, ''Halfman'': a very intelligent dwarf who is awesome, but hated by all of the civilized characters in the books, except his brother Jaime. He seems to do much better when getting drunk with whores, rogues, bastards and barbarians. His silver tongue is one of his greatest strengths (he's witty and good at persuading people) and weaknesses (he's quick with insults and the truth in a city ruled by sociopaths and liars). Tyrion is also one of the only characters with an actual sense of the bigger picture, and an interest toward steering the world toward an outcome that ''doesn't'' involve a [[The End Times|Warhammer End Times]] scenario. Unfortunately, the world's movers, shakers, and those who generally have the power to make a difference are increasingly either a) dead, b) scattered to the winds or c) hate his dwarf guts. Despite the increasing difficulty and fruitlessness of his task, however, [[Awesome|Tyrion still fights]]. After being framed for killing Joffrey, he killed his own father and is currently in exile in the Free Cities, weaselling his way into leading a merc band and trying to sign them up with Daenerys' forces, recognizing her as one of the few chances Westeros has got of fixing its shit (provided she can get her own shit together, which she's having a bit of trouble with). Since characters in this series tend to either be walking tropes, rip-offs of other fantasy characters, or historical people with different names, Tyrion is probably based on the great [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miles_Vorkosigan Miles Vorkosigan] (who was himself based on a few people including Sir Winston Churchill) and is a nod to King Richard III (a deformed but competent king later demonized by historians of his era). Even if he is usually the smartest one in the room at any given time, though, Tyrion is still not above having some derp moments. Exhibit A, when Tyrion asked his father what happened to his first wife (right before killing him), he took an ''obvious'' "I don't know and I don't care," response ("Wherever whores go") as actual, literal directions. The show version meets Daenerys and becomes her Hand only to [[Fail|fuck up a bunch of stuff]] and lose her trust. Sells her out when he realizes that she's gone round the bend and winds up becoming Hand to King Bran.
* Kevan Lannister: Tywin's younger brother, considered "the reliable one". One of the few decent Lannisters, though saying that he is perfectly happy carrying out Tywin's bidding. Tried to talk sense into Cersei and was later called in to try and fix her mess. He did such a good job of it that Varys decided to personally thank him. With a crossbow. And a group of knife-wielding children. In the show he dies with the rest of the crowd when the Great Sept got nuked by Cersei - the manner of his book death was given over to Grand Maester Pycelle at the exact same time.
* Cersei and Robert's (actually Jaime's) children:
** Joffrey Baratheon: "Heir" of the throne, and the technical king of Westeros during the War of the Five Kings since he lives in King's Landing and sits on the throne. Turned out to be worse than Aerys. He died and there was much rejoicing. [[Fail|Except by his mother, who instead had sex on his corpse]]. Fourteen years old at the time of his death.
** Tommen Baratheon: The new king on the Iron Throne. Nine years old. Married to a teenaged shotacon wife who's (unknown to him) the granddaughter of his brother's true killer. Trying to litigate the criminalization of beets. Loves [[Cats|kittens]]. He's pretty well-rounded and non-fucked up, which is a miracle considering his parents, both putative and biological. Also seems to be trying to take kinging seriously, but his mom is trying to quash that in her subliminal attempt to hold power indefinitely, so whether it holds is another matter entirely. Prophesied to die before Cersei, which doubly tragic due to his age and being a much better person than her. He commits suicide after Cersei gets her revenge via killing his wife, godfather, great-uncle, and all his religious friends via blowing up the ASOIAF equivalent of St. Peter's Basilica, because of course her power hunger was more important than his happiness and well being.
** Mycella Baratheon: Princess, and Cersei and "Robert's" second oldest child. She had her face fucked up because of Arianne Martell's amateur intrigues, which overlapped with poor planning, general stupidity, and another guy's backstabbing. Ten years old. Before the maiming, she was quite decent and non-evil. Who knows how she'll turn out now with half of her face cut off. Also prophesied to die before Cersei. In the show, she had a crush on Oberyn's surviving nephew but was killed by Elia in revenge for Oberyn's death, but alive in the books though missing an ear. Also, the readership all got on George's balls for maiming this girl, mostly because it was a sign that he had run out of ideas and was basically just milking Diabolus ex Machina ([[Just As Planned|or that's what he wants us to think]]).
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===House Baratheon===

''"Ours is the Fury"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Ascended to the Iron Throne after a successful rebellion against the Mad King Aerys II Targaryen. Produces no less than three claimants to the succession, each one very different from the other. Technically a cadet branch of House Targaryen as their founder Orys was allegedly a Targaryen bastard, who took the original Storm Kings (House Durrandon) deer sigil after killing the last one and fucking his only child Argella and then 200 odd years later, King Egg's daughter married their grandfather, they're pretty much the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Plantagenet House of Plantagenet].
* Robert Baratheon, ''The Usurper'': Fat, old, former badass who led the rebellion, and now the king who married Cersei Lannister. Then he fucked a bunch of other women and had lots of illegitimate kids. He was killed while mixing boar hunting and drinking, but whether this death was planned or not is uncertain. On the surface, a king with a thing for easy laughs and partying; right underneath the surface, he's irresponsible and leaves the actual ruling of a nation to his staff, deeper under the surface he's pretty much a sad, lonely old bro who would rather not have been king. Comparable to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_IV_of_England Henry IV], in that both were powerfully built military geniuses who overthrew the existing monarchy and later succumbed to an unhealthy lifestyle.
* Stannis '''The Mannis''' Baratheon: Robert's younger brother, an all-around badass who swings between [[Lawful Stupid]] (more so in the show than the books) and [[gets shit done|getting shit done]]. [[Judge Dredd|believes so strongly in the rule of law]] that he feels compelled to take the Iron Throne for himself despite wanting nothing to do with it. Is advised by a priestess of the God of light, Melisandre, and a lowborn smuggler named Davos Seaworth raised to knighthood and nobility. [[C.S Goto|His character is ruined in the show into an incompetent pawn of Melisandre and gets killed off just because one of the showrunners didn't like him]].
** Shireen Baratheon: Stannis's kid daughter. The sweet, charming, and intelligent little lady who was left with a deformity on her face from a disease called greyscale. Teaches Davos how to read, and is probably the most innocent person in the series alongside Tommen, Myrcella and a few others. Being the grim and dark universe A Song of Ice and Fire is, however, this means that she's likely going to end up becoming fuel for a vicious fire god. In the show she does, but in the books, she is safe and sound since Stannis isn't stupid enough to bring him with her while campaigning. His wife, on the other hand, being such an idiotic fanatical pyromaniac... well, her odds aren't exactly looking that great.
* Renly Baratheon, ''That Gay Guy'': Robert and Stannis's youngest brother. Took Loras Tyrell (a.k.a. Knight of Flowers, Pretty Boy, etc.) as his lover. Decided he was better suited to be king, though the bizarre and outdated laws of the land stated Stannis was next in line (though Joffrey and then Tommen were first since they were [[Pretend|officially]] Bobby B's legitimate kids). Was hugely popular since he had Robert's charisma, which led to him getting the most support, but he lacked Stannis's conviction and devotion to the duty of actually doing the work of a king, or even Robert's ability to wage war. Killed by Melisandre with some "help" by Stannis ''The Mannis'' for trying to steal his crown, though in the books Stannis may not have been completely aware of the role he played in Renly's death. He's basically [[That Guy]] of ASOIAF, since quite a lot of shit is his fault, indirectly or otherwise.
*Gendry Baratheon, the Bastard Son. One of Robert's many, many bastard children, and the one who gets the most page and screen time. He starts out as a humble blacksmith in King's Landing, who first comes to Ned's attention when Lord Stark is investigating the death of Jon Arryn. From there, he gets shipped off to the Night's Watch to avoid the imminent purge of Robert's bastards and winds up becoming friends with Arya and Hot Pie. After some adventuring and sexual tension with Arya (at least in the show), he joins the Brotherhood Without Banners. In the show, they sell him to Melisandre so she can use him for a blood magic ritual, while in the books he just goes on being a smith and doesn't get involved in anything particularly weird or shady. He's helping run an inn as a brotherhood front/orpganage when he reappears in the books, but in the show, Ser Davos sets him free and tells him to fuck off, which he does for a few seasons. He eventually turns up back in King's Landing, where Davos finds him and recruits him (and his comically oversized LARPing hammer) for Team Snow. He helps Jon capture a wight to show Cersei, makes dragonglass weapons for the Army of the Living, has sex with Arya, and fights in the Battle of Winterfell, after which Daenerys legitimizes him as the new lord of House Baratheon.</div></div>

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===House Tully===

''"Family, Duty, Honor"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> Lords of the central river lands. Being the obligatory central nation they spend a lot of the series being fought over like a cake in between fat kids. Basically Poland/Netherlands, given they have so many rivers and how hard they've been fucked over.
*Edmure Tully: Basically the SoIaF universe's eternal butt monkey (because he happens to be a decent fucking person). A useless ponce with a dense streak a mile wide and a bad habit of bragging about things he shouldn't be proud of. It took hanging in a stockade for a few months to make him experience some growth. When Jaime was brought in to unfuck the situation and end the siege at Tully's house in Riverrun, Jaime's "negotiation" pressured him into convincing his house to surrender, but he made sure [[Troll|that Brynden got out first]]. Currently spending his days at the Lannister house as a hostage to make sure that the Tullys don't try to ruin the situation again. Tries to make a case for himself as king in the final episode, only to get shut down by Sansa.
*Brynden Tully ''the Blackfish'': He didn't catch the memo that he was part of the joke faction, and proceeds to spend the entire series fucking Lannister shit up and generally being a boss. Thought to be the black sheep in a family of fish. (Thus "Blackfish", geddit?) Ended up holed up in Riverrun, and got the fuck out right before the end of the siege, so that the Lannisters couldn't dick him over as a prisoner (or so he can keep dicking them over before he became a prisoner). Also widely accepted by the fans to be a closeted homosexual. In the HBO show, he gets killed when resisting arrest from Tully forces by order of Edmure. [[Rage|And it happens offscreen.]]</div></div>

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===House Arryn===

''"As High as Honor"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Mountain lords turned [[NEET|neurotic shut ins]]. Goes through lords about as quickly as you would expect a castle equipped with a door that opens into empty air. Basically Switzerland/Afghanistan, seeing as how they stayed neutral in the War of Five Kings, their land is covered by nothing but mountains, and they're constantly fighting with the local tribes. They were being entertainingly screwed over by Littlefinger until his death.
*Jon Arryn: Only appears posthumously and is the catalyst for the whole plot. The true mastermind behind Robert's Rebellion was killed by Littlefinger via Lysa when he figured out that Robert's kids are bastards of Cersei and Jaime. His death was blamed on the Lannisters to destabilize Westeros.
*Lysa Arryn: Loli bride turned Lady of the Vale after the Lannisters forcibly retired her husband from life, at least officially. In reality, Littlefinger convinced her to poison her husband and blame the Lannisters [[Just As Planned|which pretty much started this whole clusterfuck to begin with]]. A closeted, crazy woman who spends the entire series in her castle "the Eyrie" being useless, breastfeeding her own son at age 10, obsessing over Littlefinger's cock, and [[Derp|refusing to help her sister and nephew in the war she and Littlefinger pretty much started]], which may have guaranteed their eventual horrific murders by their enemies. Finally gets her comeuppance when Littlefinger kicks her out the moon door (post-taunting, of course), putting her out of our collective misery. Long live the Lord Protector.
* Robert Arryn: ''Littlefuck'', Lysa's equally mentally unstable autistic son, who still sucks on his mom's tit, and enjoys seeing people "fly" out the moon door to their deaths. He actually seems to be a bit smarter than you would first think and is a really, really good judge of character, except with Sansa. Secretly being poisoned by Littlefinger and Sansa, so she can take over the Vale and North. Named Robin in the show because the showrunners were afraid that having two characters with the same name would be too confusing. The show version doesn't get poisoned but turns up in the series finale as the Lord of the Vale.</div></div>

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===House Greyjoy===

''"We Do Not Sow"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">[[Awesome|A house founded by Cthulhu-worshipping Norscans]]. While not actual Vikings in any sense of the word, there is little other way to describe them. They live on some islands and almost their entire culture is based around raiding and the ocean. Their religion holds it shameful for a man to pay for personal possessions, and states they have to get things either by trade or The Iron Price; seizing something from the body or belongings of someone he defeated in conquest rather than paying or trading for it. Also, only possessions acquired via The Iron Price command respect among the Ironborn.
*Balon Greyjoy: Asshole dad, crappy ruler and general shithead who rebelled against Robert Baratheon and failed miserably. All of his sons were killed, except for Theon, who was taken as a hostage to ensure his good behaviour. Despite being in a position to join either the Lannisters or the Starks during the War of Five Kings and thereby get whatever he wanted from either (independence and the North, or independence and Casterly Rock, respectively), he does the absolute stupidest thing possible and declares himself independent without support from anyone, attacking the North and the rest of Westeros, thereby virtually guaranteeing that he'll be on the receiving end of another one-sided battle. Never got that far, though, since he was pushed off a bridge during a storm by an assassin his brother Euron sent.
*Victarion Greyjoy: Admiral of the Iron Fleet. [[Gets shit done]] while wearing [[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Lokhir Fellheart's]] armour during boarding actions. Does it for vengeance, the lulz and as a ticket to Ironborn heaven (which they believe men can reach if they die in battle or by drowning). Worships both R'hllor and the Drowned God. For all his badassery, is far too stupid to realize that his black Red Priest sidekick's constant rambling about his "great destiny" is inevitably going to end in his burning to death on a sacrificial pyre. Said Red Priest impressed Victarion by surviving being marooned at sea for 3 weeks and turning Victarion's infected arm into a super-strong volcano arm. Seriously.
*Aeron Greyjoy ''Damphair'': A priestly Alan Moore who drank seawater. Once a fun-loving party animal, he nearly drowned during the Greyjoy Rebellion and became a dour and devout priest of the Ironborn [[Cthulhu]] religion. Confirmed to have been raped by Euron when they were kids. Planned to overthrow Euron, who bribed and manipulated his way into becoming king of the Ironborn. [[Grimdark|Was captured by Euron and tortured to try and make him renounce his faith, including feeding him spoiled food, drugging him and burning him. Later Euron tied Aeron, naked, to the prow of Euron's ship alongside Euron's tortured, pregnant former lover because she showed Aeron kindness by once giving him proper food]]. He tried to console her by saying their suffering will end in underwater Valhalla, [[Awesome|showing Euron failed to make him deny his faith]].
*Theon Greyjoy: Son of the Lord/King of the Iron Islands. Had the personality of a stereotypical high school jock, being an excellent archer and womanizer and proud of it. He was given to Ned Stark by his father after Balon failed to successfully rebel against Robert Baratheon. Swore an oath to Robb, but then ditched him out of a desperate need to please his father. Ends up castrated and acts as the personal slave of Ramsay Bolton after Ramsay puts him through horrific torture to turn him into Reek. Rescued by his sister, but the psychological trauma meant it took a while before he could stop calling himself Reek and start getting back to normal mentally (physically he's now missing a few parts that don't heal or grow back). Dead in the show, thanks to charging the Night King by himself while protecting Bran.
* Asha Greyjoy: Theon's older sister and a commander of some renown which is quite a feat - almost every man on the Iron Islands except her father either tried to get in her pants or told her to [[-4 STR|stop playing around and go do some actual women's work]], before she kicked enough ass that they respected her. Rescues Theon after he escapes Ramsay but then loses him to Stannis. Is named Yara in the show because the showrunners thought her name sounded too similar to Osha the wildling chick and is also apparently [[PROMOTIONS|bisexual]]. Eventually becomes Lady of the Iron Islands in the show because she's the last Greyjoy standing.
*Euron Greyjoy ''Crow's Eye'': A [[Chaos|sick fuck Lovecraftian pirate armed with unnatural sorcerous powers, so evil]] that Balon banished him from the Iron Islands. Every member of his crew is a mute because Euron ripped all their tongues out. Many of them are also the illegitimate sons of women he's raped around the world during his raids. Uses an eyepatch to conceal a pitch-black eye, his personal "obviously a villain" mark. Raped his brother Victarion's wife, then claimed she wanted it so Victarion had to kill her. Raped his younger brother Aeron. Also showed back up in the Iron Islands the day after Balon died, despite having been raping and pillaging in Essos before that, which is suspicious as fuck. Now the new Iron King. Plans to conquer Westeros and has some unknown plan to deal with Daenerys. Revealed in the book ''Winds of Winter'' to be [[Honsou|the sickest fuck in an entire setting of sick fucks (and that's saying something)]], including having a god complex while hating religion so much he [[Grimdark|tortures any clergymen he captures to try and make them give up their faiths using ironic tortures themed around their religions - such as preachers have their tongues cut out and burning priests of the fire god to death]]. Euron tried and failed to break his priest brother Aeron's faith so he lashed Aeron to the front of his ship to die [[Grimdark|alongside Euron's own pregnant lover Falia]]. In the show he's just a psycho pirate turned king without any magic powers or gear who wants to bang Cersei and Jaime kills him in the second-to-last episode. </div></div>

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===House Tyrell===

''"Growing Strong"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Lords of Highgarden and backstabbers par-excellence and owners of a lot of fertile land. Unlike the current lot of Lannisters they understand the value of good PR, balancing ruthlessness with being somewhat amicable, political savvy and not being stuck-up on honour. They're basically France. [[Fail|Unfortunately, they've all been wiped out in the show]].
*Mace "The Ace" Tyrell: Lord of Highgarden. Massively fat and overweight, while being stupid, overreaching and constantly mocked by everyone else, he's otherwise known as a friendly man, a good Lord when it comes to management and a good father; unfortunately, this isn't enough to save a man in the Game of Thrones. Gets killed with the rest of the noble houses when Cersei blows up the Great Sept of Baelor.
*Olenna Tyrell: The brains behind House Tyrell's schemes. Known as the ''Queen of Thorns'' for being an outspoken, prickly and venomous old lady. Schemed with Littlefinger to have Joffrey killed, but she carried it out with compressed powder "gems" that poisoned his wine. Now she keeps her family in line and is hailed as a more progressive version of Tywin. Became a fan favourite for constantly dropping awesome one-liners and telling the Sand Snakes to shut up. [[Fail|Later killed off in the show]], but not before revealing to Jaime that [[Awesome|she was the one who killed Joffrey and asking him to make sure Cersei knows it]].
*Willas Tyrell: Mace Tyrell's eldest son and heir, crippled at a very young age when jousting against Oberyn Martell. Probably one of the most pleasant and sensible characters in the series, which might explain why he's yet to make an appearance. Very fond of breeding animals, especially horses.
*Garlan Tyrell ''The Gallant'': Second-born son. Badass extraordinaire considered one of the best swords in Westeros, and one of the few people kind to Tyrion. Trains for real combat (often against multiple opponents by himself) unlike Loras, who's a tourney fighter. Single-handed wrecks many notable knights fighting for Stannis during the War of The Five Kings. And he is the only person other than Tywin to put Joffrey in his place, at his own wedding. Sadly no POV chapter yet and omitted from the TV series (Loras takes credit for his deeds).
*Loras Tyrell ''The Knight of Flowers'': The Tyrell who appears most in the series. Considered to be an example of the perfect knight, despite his youth. Is secretly Renly's gay lover and conspired to take the throne with him and his sister. Last seen badly injured in the books attempting to take Stannis' castle. In the show he ends up tortured by the members of the Faith for being gay [[C.S Goto|because the showrunners retconned them to hate gay people]], [[Protectorate of Menoth|later joins their ranks of questionable willingness]] then dies when Cersei blows up the Sept of Baelor.
*Margaery Tyrell: The would-be Queen of Westeros, she has married, in order, Renly Baratheon (gay), Joffrey Baratheon (evil), and Tommen Baratheon (8 years old) and has been crowned as queen three times. While she is nice, she is capable of manipulation. In the show, she marries and uses sex to control Tommen. Was arrested by the resident Chamber Militant The Sparrow and asked for a trial by faith in the books. In the show, this also happens but she tries to be pious in an attempt to save herself but ended up getting killed when Cersei blew up the Sept of Baelor.
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===House Bolton===

''"Our Blades Are Sharp"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The Starks' most important (and most despised) vassal, a former arch-rival made of [[Grimdark]] because their entire theme [[Dark Eldar|revolves around Torture]]. Their sigil is a flayed man, their castle is [[Commorragh|a complex of eternal suffering called the Dreadfort]], and just look at their House motto... which shows how stupid the Starks were for allying with them.
*Roose Bolton, ''The 'Leech Lord'': A Lawful Evil sociopathic health nut who's called the Leech Lord because he gets leeched regularly, believing they get rid of bad blood. Second-most powerful Lord in the North with ambitions to depose the Starks. Since the Starks are unable to think like crafty people and are blinded by honour this doesn't prove too difficult. He gets his wish when he stabs Robb Stark in the back, at his uncle's wedding no less, and has anyone associated with Robb killed. He then makes over Winterfell in his bloody image and is currently trolling Stannis. Believes in the abolished practice of "[[Rape|Droit du seigneur]]" (a tradition that allowed a lord to have sex with subordinate women, whether they wanted to or not) and killed at least one man for trying to hide his wife from Roose (before fathering Ramsay with her via rape). Believed that he and his son could be as evil as they wanted as long as no one found out. Killed by Ramsey in the show, which Ramsay tried to cover with a lie despite the witnesses to his actions.
*Ramsay Snow/Bolton: The bastard son of Roose Bolton and a peasant woman he raped [[Grimdark|(under the hanging corpse of the woman's husband, for fuck's sake!)]]. One of the most fucked up people in all of the Seven Kingdoms (alongside the original Reek, the paedophile marauder Rorge and Euron), because he [[Dark Eldar|loves to torture and kill people openly for the lulz]], such as Theon Greyjoy, who he crippled, knocked his teeth out, castrated, and brainwashed into calling himself Reek; Reek was originally a peasant appointed to try and control a young Ramsay, but instead Ramsay warped him into a mentally unstable necrophiliac before killing Reek to fake his death, but Ramsay seemed to hold some twisted affection for him. He also sent Theon's severed appendage to Theon's dad in a cutesy box with a letter mockingly detailing his evilness. Will torture anyone who points out his illegitimate heritage though now he's legally recognized as a Bolton. Also has a pack of hunting dogs he names after women he hunts, rapes and kills. Married a fake Arya Stark and regularly mistreats her, including forced bestiality. Not a fun guy to be around. The only reason he's gotten away with it for so long (as pointed out by his father) is that no one is strong enough to stand up to him yet, but [[Powder Keg of Justice|when they are]] he's going to be killed. In the show, he killed his father with a knife, fed his stepmother and newborn half-brother to his dogs, then married Sansa Stark and deflowered her via rape. Ramsay was such a monster even Iwan Rheon, THE ACTOR WHO PLAYED THE GUY, hoped he'd die horribly. He got his wish: The consequences of Ramsay's actions catch up with him when Jon Snow shows up with an army capable of threatening him, and after surprise reinforcements from Littlefinger and his own fucked-up teamkilling, the Starks crush the Bolton army, forcing Ramsay to flee back to Winterfell. Despite this, the gate is smashed down, he is disarmed, beaten rather brutally and detained to await trial. Before the trial Sansa sets his dogs on him, which he had deliberately starved so they would eat Jon. Apparently they found him quite tasty.
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===House Martell===

''"Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Desert dwelling survivalists who pride themselves on having never been conquered by the Targaryen dynasty (though they later married in). Moorish Spaniards, kinda. [[C.S Goto|Their story arc was completely FUBAR in the show, as Elia and Oberyn's daughters kill Oberyn's brother and nephew for taking too long to avenge him before being captured and killed themselves by Euron and Cersei]].
*Doran Martell: Lord of Sunspear and of royal descent. Still mad at the Lannisters about that whole "murdered-my-sister-and-infant-niece thing". Playing the longest of long games with Varys while trying to keep the rest of his psychotic family members in check. Wheelchair-bound due to his gout. [[What|Killed off in the show by Ellaria as part of her plan to avenge Oberyn]].
*Arianne Martell: One of GRRM's characters who seems to exists solely to fuck everything up at the worst conceivable moment. Still hot as Dornish girls come. Exists only in the books, where she is currently helping her dad get ready to topple the Lannisters after fucking everything up with her own stupid plan to crown Myrcella, which is what got the poor girl maimed.
*Oberyn Martell ''The Viper of Dorne'': Doran Martell's brother, a bisexual swinger, former mercenary, and a drunkard. His girlfriend is a spectacularly beautiful bastard named Ellaria Sand and he has many illegitimate children, mostly daughters, collectively called "The Sand Snakes". Crippled the Tyrell heir in a fight, causing a rift between the two houses; despite this, he's actually best mates with the aforementioned heir, due to Willas Tyrell being straight up the nicest and most balanced man in the series and Oberyn being a somewhat decent person. Known for poisoning his weapons, as well as his battle-cry. Died from a mutual kill, with Gregor Clegane crushing his skull in rather graphically, avenging his sister Elia who Gregor had raped and murdered. Though it's probably a win for Oberyn, since he got Clegane with a horribly painful and slow-acting venom which stretched his death over days or even weeks, during which time he was ruthlessly experimented upon by a mad scientist.
*Quentyn Martell: Didn't realize he was in Dark Low Fantasy and thought he was in High Fantasy, poor bastard. A member of House Martell, sent to marry Daenerys to secure an alliance between the families since the original marriage plan to hook Arianne up with Viserys won't work with Viserys dead. Leaves Westeros and goes all the way to the city of Meereen to marry her, but he's too late, as she marries the Meereenese noble Hizdahr, and like Jorah he's not her type (Dany likes her bad boys). Tries to tame two of her dragons to impress her; the attempt goes wrong, he gets horribly burnt and gradually dies in agony from his wounds.
*The Sand Snakes: Oberyn's children. All daughters he had with various women throughout his travels (all consensual encounters, mind you). Mixed race and all hot with various skills including combat training and mastery of poisons. Working with Doran and Ellaria in the books. [[C.S Goto|Ruined in the show where they don't accomplish anything, are given atrocious dialogue (the "you need the bad pussy" line comes to mind), aren't great fighters]] and get killed by Euron's men, except for one who gets captured and poisoned by Cersei so an imprisoned Ellaria is forced to watch her die and decompose.</div></div>

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===House Frey===

''"We Stand Together"''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> House of weasels who are always grumpy and have a thing for overreacting to perceived slights. Wouldn't be that important except for the fact that they own the only bridge over a strategically important river, and regularly extort anyone attempting to cross it.

*Walder Frey: The ancient, terrible, ornery old man in charge of the Twins. Hates everyone for "looking down on him", and will readily betray an important ally for immediate gain, or if he feels he has been slighted in some minor way. His descendants are literally so numerous that no one except GRRM himself has been able to count them all, so we aren't even going to attempt it. Now dead in the show due to getting his throat slit by a vengeful Arya after she serves him two of his sons as meat pies. </div></div>

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'''Night's Watch'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The Night's Watch are an apolitical force in charge of manning The Wall, a giant ice wall that separates the relative tranquillity of the south from the Lovecraftian fucked-up-itude of the true north. They are chronically undermanned and undersupplied since nobody believes their stories of a barbarian army or the impending zombie apocalypse. Basically everybody else thinks they're in a game of [[Diplomacy]] and the Night's Watch are the only ones who realize they're actually in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]], though it's been so long since the last snow elf invasion that even they had forgotten about the undead hordes and focused too much on barbarians. They've allied with the Wildings and the North, but in the TV show, the Night's King used the undead dragon Viserion to burn a hole through The Wall.
*Jeor Mormont, ''The Old Bear'': 997th Lord Commander of the Night's Watch at the start of the series. Sees Jon Snow as something of a second son (since his own son Jorah was exiled for enslaving and refused to take the black for his crimes). Leads a ranging north of the Wall to investigate reports that the Others have returned. Ends up killed during a mutiny of survivors after the Others wiped out most of his force.
*Alliser Thorne: Prick of a knight who was favourite to be the next Watch Commander, but was passed over by Jon Snow. Unable to accept Jon Snow letting the Wildlings live on the other side of the wall in an alliance against the zombie hordes, he staged a coup against Jon. It failed because Jon was brought back to life. He is now dead in the show, having been executed for his treason by Jon Snow.
*Aemon Targaryen: Maester of the Citadel at Castle Black. Despite being the third born son of King Maekar I Targaryen, he declined the right to sit on the Iron Throne. One of the few people in the series to die of old age, at 102.
*Samwell Tarly, ''The Slayer'': Fat bookworm who was forced to take the black after his father Randyl threatened to murder him for being unmanly. Jon Snow's best friend among the Night's Watch, and knows everything because he "read it in a book". Despite being a self-professed coward, Sam became the first person in thousands of years to slay an Other with an obsidian dagger. George Martin himself said Sam's based on Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings. Since then, he has started improving his combat skills and balls (in more ways than one for the latter, finding his spine and losing his virginity). He abandons the Night's Watch to help fight the dead and tell Jon who he really is, and winds up becoming the new Grand Maester by the end of the show.
*Eddison Tollett, ''Dolorous Edd'': Probably the most badass member of the Night's Watch. Responds to situations by making sarcastic jokes about them, and known for being a grim motherfucker in a setting of grim motherfuckers. In the show he [[Awesome|became the new Lord Commander]] while Jon was dead, but gave the title back to Jon when he was brought back to life, and then Jon handed it right back because he needed to go sort out Ramsay Bolton. Dies in Season 8 at the Battle of Winterfell. </div></div>

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'''Wildlings'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Groups of nomadic hunter-gatherer tribes who live north of the Wall. Mostly First Men by blood, they have been heading toward the Wall for the past decade with the reputed reemergence of the Others. Nomadic, aggressive, and very much believing in "might makes right", they do not get along with anyone south of The Wall since they view them as "Kneeling weaklings". Basically every Celtic/Scandinavian/barbarian stereotype combined.
*Mance Rayder, ''The King Beyond The Wall'': A Wildling orphan who was taken in by the Night's Watch, he became their best Ranger before he deserted to join his people. He united the Wildlings and lead them south to escape the Others. Also a trained bard, but that was not enough to save him from death.
*Tormund Giantsbane: Claims to have a ten-inch penis, and invites his enemies to use their mouths if they want to clean it. Cool as fuck old guy who [[Furry|fucks mother-bears]] in his free time. Tough as nails motherfucker who preaches the merits of using one's cock for everything. He teams up with Jon Snow for the fight against the White Walkers, then fucks off back to the north once the Night King is dead, making him one of the most sensible people on the show. He and Jon go off to be bros at the end of the show.
*Ygritte: Wildling woman who Jon Snow ends up falling for and who returns his affections. Has red hair which is considered lucky among the Wildlings. This being ''A Song of Ice and Fire'', she ends up dying because her worldview is not compatible with Jon's.
*Craster: A sick bastard, formerly a member of the Night's Watch. [[Grimdark|Has lots of daughters who he marries and fucks regularly, giving him more children. So his wives are his daughters, granddaughters and so on... Girls grow up to become more wives, boys get sacrificed to the Others]]. This keeps them at bay, and that sanctuary is why the Night Watch barely tolerates him. Fortunately, he's been killed off in the story.
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'''Commoners, Knights, and Petty Lords'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Basically any character not associated with any of the Great Houses.
* Varys, ''The Spider'': The eunuch spymaster of Westeros. You can't take a shit in the Seven Kingdoms without Varys finding out where, when, and how watery or dry it was. He does this through paid informants and his "little birds", a spy network of children who sneak through the castle's passageways and air flues to eavesdrop on everyone. Stabs everyone in the back because he's actually trying to bring the Targaryens back in order to strengthen the realm. Dead in the show, having decided to try and put Jon on the throne instead of Daenerys; Jon says no, Tyrion sells him out when he realizes Jon absolutely means it, and Dany has Drogon barbecue him.
* Petyr Baelish, ''Littlefinger'': The Master of Coin (the ASOIAF equivalent of a treasurer) and the closest person the Game of Thrones world has to a [[Daemon Prince]] of [[Tzeentch]], up to even declaring "[[Chaos]] is a Ladder". A dangerous manipulator who manages to trick and steal his way to positions of lordship and wealth because no one takes him seriously, and stabs all the Lannisters in the back when they become inconvenient. As a child, he wanted Catelyn Stark and was tricked into thinking she wanted him when her sister Lysa fucked him while he was drunk. Challenged Catelyn's betrothed Brandon Stark, Ned's older brother who was murdered by Aerys, for her hand in marriage and got his ass kicked because he was a small skinny boy and Brandon Stark was a big strapping man, making that his start of darkness. The guy responsible, directly or indirectly, for the War of the Five Kings because he was the mastermind behind poisoning Jon Arryn, the capture and execution of Ned Stark, feeding several half-truths to Catelyn to motivate her to arrest Tyrion, and eventually Joffrey's death by having Dontos and Olenna Tyrell carry out the plan to kill Joffrey and letting Tyrion take the fall; but no one in the story knows this, not even Varys. People think he can pull gold out of thin air, but he's really been buying debt while letting Robert Baratheon's extravagances and Joffrey and Cersei's dipshittery pull the country into a serious debt of its own. So he's pledged himself to [[Chaos]] and destroying Westeros all because he couldn't have Catelyn as his girlfriend, though he changed his focus to her daughter Sansa now, making him a paedophile. Hasn't yet got his comeuppance in the books, but is currently dead in the show after he was out-gambitted by Sansa and killed by Arya. According to GRRM, he's based on the title character from the Great Gatsby.
*Gregor Clegane, ''The Mountain'': A 7' 8" 400 pound mass of [[Khorne|testosterone, muscles, steroid overdose and murderous RAGE]], Gregor is Tywin Lannister's top muscle. Killed his own father and sister and permanently scarred his brother. Hobbies include rape, arson, murder, and random torture; he's also been married a few times but not now with the implication he kept killing his wives. He played an important part in destroying the Targaryens by killing a couple of Rhaegar's kids in rather brutal fashion, then raping and murdering his wife. Spends a few novels doing Tywin's dirty work before a Trial by Champion leads to him dying after being poisoned by Oberyn Martell. Qyburn later resurrected him as... something... called "Ser Robert Strong", and is now even stronger, less prone to psychotic rages, and is completely obedient. He's based on accounts of French knight Gilles de Rais and maybe also the scriptural giant Goliath. Tortures Cersei's nun jailer to death in a brutal and unspecified fashion kills Qyburn during the Siege of King's Landing and then nearly kills his little brother, only for Sandor to tackle him through a collapsing wall and into a gigantic inferno that claims both.
* Sandor Clegane, ''The Hound'': Younger brother to Gregor Clegane, called the Hound because of his hound-face helm, his family's heraldry, and being the king's hired muscle without being a knight. He hates knights due to the hypocrisy of being a professional "noble warrior" but mostly since his monstrous brother is a knight, showing it's not so much of a noble promotion. Terrified of fire after Gregor put his head against a brazier for playing with one of Gregor's old toys when they were children, burning half his face, but he's still the second-strongest person in Westeros. A brutal anti-hero with a soft spot for Sansa, but a better person than his brother. After falling sick from Biter's nasty teeth, he ends up being a silent monk burying people in the Silent Isles. In the show, he joins the Brotherhood without Banners and goes north to help fuck up the White Walkers. As of Season 8, he's survived the Battle of Winterfell and is riding south with Arya to put the boots to Gregor. Dies killing his now undead brother in a pretty epic fight amidst the crumbling ruins of the Red Keep.
*Grand Maester Pycelle: A shrewd, dangerous man putting on a "harmless old man act" and a high ranking scholar from the science/medical guild the Maesters. The longest-serving member of the King's advisory staff, and is actually Tywin Lannister's biggest lackey. He convinced the Mad King to let Tywin in as Baratheon's armies were marching on the capital, where Tywin proceeded to sack the city and claim it for Robert. Gets his head bashed in by Varys in the books and murdered by Qyburn in the show.
* Qyburn: Formerly a maester, who was kicked out of the order for unethical experiments on the living (taking people and performing vivisections to be precise). Introduced as a part of a mercenary company serving Roose Bolton, which should be a red flag. He moves up in the world when he's sent to escort Brienne and Jaime back to King's Landing and ends with Cersei employing him to replace Pycelle as "science advisor" and eventually Varys's Spymaster. Serves Cersei loyally as long as she lets him indulge his sick experiments, serving as a black magic variety of the court mage. He has resurrected Gregor Clegane as... something. [[Fabius Bile]] if he traded his robot limbs, eugenics and power armour for necromancy. He overestimated his hold on Gregor and got his head caved in for it as of the second-to-last episode of the show.
*Barristan Selmy, ''The Bold'': Knight of the Kingsguard. Which Kingsguard? Take your pick. He's served pretty much every king since Aerys and understandably feels pretty bad about it. Another sad old man who pretty much just wants to die until he decides to go pledge his services to Daenerys. Even in his old age, he is considered one of the most dangerous men in Westeros. [[Fail|Dead in the show]] (to be fair they gave him a huge last stand), but [[Awesome|alive]] and [[Roboute Guilliman|appointed himself Daenerys' steward in her absence to try and fix Meereen's situation in the books]].
*Melisandre, ''The Red Witch'': A priestess of R'hllor, the god of fire. Proclaimed Stannis to be the messiah-king and is doing everything in her power to make sure he wins (considerable given that she can scry, make shadow baby assassins and set things on fire with her mind). She'd be pretty bro-tier if her god wasn't so vicious. As it stands she's kind of in the grey (in the books, the show seems to zig-zag on her being evil 'cos the showrunners seem to hate religion). Most of the people she set on fire deserved it, and she hasn't ''succeeded'' in killing any babies yet. Show version now dead from suicide via rapid ageing after ensuring the Living defeat the Dead.
*Jorah Mormont: A knight and son of Jeor Mormont, exiled for trying to sell poachers into slavery and eventually joining the exiles of House Targaryen. He is offered a pardon in exchange for spying on the Targaryens but ultimately decides to stay with them after falling in love with Daenerys. Unfortunately, he gets friend-zoned hard. Despite saving her life from an assassin while she was pregnant, she still votes him off the Khalassar after learning he was a spy. He still loves her and follows her in secret, though. In the show, he goes on a quest to prove himself to her and contracts the dangerous disease Greyscale (it's like the unholy lovechild of smallpox and leprosy), but he gets cured and is now back at her side. He dies protecting her at the Battle of Winterfell.
*Davos Seaworth, ''The Onion Knight'': A former smuggler and bannerman to House Baratheon. During Roberts Rebellion he ran a blockade with a cargo of contraband onions to a castle Stannis Baratheon was besieged in. In exchange for the food he had, Stannis knighted Davos, but Stannis's law-worshipping mindset compelled him to remove four digits from his left hand. Despite this, Davos has served Stannis with unquestioning loyalty, because Stannis knighting him gave his children a future. The fact that Stannis's war for the throne has ended up killing several of his sons hasn't dented his loyalty at all. Doesn't like Melisandre because he sees her as a user and her beliefs as brutal. He's a devout follower of the Faith of the Seven in the books and the first season of the show [[C.S Goto|but is clumsily retconned into an anti-religious atheist in later show seasons]]. In the show, he's now pledged to DA NORF and is basically Jon's Hand of the King, except he doesn't get a fancy pin. He survives the Battle of Winterfell and the Second Sack of King's Landing and becomes Master of Ships in the final episode of the show.
*Shae: A former camp follower and Tyrion Lannister's squeeze for most of the story. Fled from an abusive family and became a camp follower to earn a living. Seems to fall in love with Tyrion, but it turns out she's a gold-digging bitch. When Tyrion doesn't marry Shae she sells him out to Cersei for a better offer, then fucks Tywin when she realizes Cersei won't keep her promise. Tyrion found her in his father's bed and strangled her to death with a necklace for betraying him. The discovery of Shae's corpse in Tywin's bed - posthumously outing him as a whoremonger - upsets Cersei to the point she unpersons Shae.
*Bronn: A mercenary who acts as Tyrion's enforcer and personal killer until Cersei outbids him and he settles down with a little wife and title. Routinely kills knights by exploiting how arrogant and stupid they are even after becoming one himself. Only in it for the money, which he'll happily tell you himself. The only character other than Littlefinger to end every book in a better position than he started it. In the show, he makes the very sensible decision to sit out the fighting and wait for his promised castle (Riverrun if Cersei wins, Highgarden if Daenerys wins). He gets Highgarden and is named Lord Paramount of the Reach and Master of Coin in the final episode.
* Brienne of Tarth, ''The Beauty'': Surprisingly badass lady knight wannabe (since no women can be knighted), legendarily unattractive but still pretty idealistic despite the shit she gets for her looks. Fate frequently gives her the shit end of the stick, because no matter how hard she tries to finish her quests, she ends up failing or stuff happens that makes it impossible. Secretly crushes on Renly and unaware he's gay. After he dies, Brienne switches her loyalty to Catelyn and helps her bring Jaime to King's Landing as Tyrion promised Sansa's return in exchange for Jaime. She later developed a crush on Jaime. Things don't go well because Jaime lost his hand and the Red Wedding happened. Next, Jaime sends her out to find and keep Sansa safe to make good on Tyrion's promise, since he isn't the complete dick everyone thinks he is. Brienne ends up getting captured by Cat, now known as Lady Stoneheart and an insane undead, who was going to hang Brienne for working with Jaime. Brienne was spared at the last moment to capture/manipulate Jaime. In the show, she's now sworn to House Stark and gets knighted by Jaime just before the Battle of Winterfell and then she and Jaime hook up afterwards, only for him to take off and break her heart. She is now Lady Commander of the Kingsguard as of the final episode.
* Lyanna Mormont: A badass ten-year-old girl who inherits Bear Island after her mother and older sister die horribly in the Riverlands - at least if we are going by the show; in the book, her mother is still alive somewhere in the Neck and her older sister Alysanne is the de-facto head of House Mormont. Her activities include pimp-slapping bitches, leading men twice as old as her, and being completely loyal to the Starks despite all their misfortunes. [[Awesome|"Bear Island knows no king but the King in the North, whose name is STARK."]] She dies killing an undead giant at the Battle of Winterfell, which is pretty badass.
* Wyman Manderly, ''Lord Too-Fat-To-Sit-A-Horse'': The Lord of White Harbour and one of the few Northerners who worship the Seven. Fervently loyal to House Stark, he pays lip-service to the Iron Throne long enough for his eldest son to return home, all to mask a plan to restore the Starks to power, mostly by destabilising the Frey-Bolton alliance, building a navy, marshalling the forces of the lands east of the White Knife river, "losing" Freys in the wilderness and sending Lord Davos Seaworth to rescue Rickon Stark from Skagos. His favourite food is lamprey, although he has also developed a taste for Frey Pie. Also a remarkably graceful dancer, and can survive taking a knife to the throat.
** Wylla Manderly: Granddaughter to the above. Another badass little girl, her activities include openly declaring undying loyalty to House Stark and dying her hair green. She and Lyanna Mormont would probably be best friends if they met. [[Awesome|"The city is built upon the land [the Starks] gave us. In return, we swore that we should always be their men. Stark men!"]]
* Jon Umber, ''The Greatjon'': At first he seems to be your stereotypical, boisterous Northern Lord. However, he becomes one of Robb's most loyal supporters, being first to declare him as 'King in the North' after Ned's execution. Had his moment of awesome [[Awesome|when he killed and wounded four Freys at the Red Wedding, all the while being drunk and needing eight additional men to take him down.]]
* Beric Dondarrion, ''The Lightning Lord'': Minor lord who agreed to head an expedition to take out Gregor Clegane. This being Game of Thrones, however, his party is ambushed by the Mountain and is beaten rather badly, and he loses his life in the process. Thanks to his drunken Red Priest friend, however, he manages to come back not once, but eight times, and each time he comes back, he becomes more powerful, though at the cost of his memory. He now heads an outlaw faction of grimdark Robin Hood types called "The Brotherhood Without Banners", who are dedicated to punishing those who abuse and mistreat the smallfolk. Ironically, he's one of the few book characters to have died (permanently) in the books but remain alive in the show, except now he's dead for real as of the Battle of Winterfell.
* Thoros of Myr: Aforementioned drunken priest who is dedicated to R'hllor, though at first he doesn't really give a rat's ass about the Red God, as he prefers to party it up with wine and women, but after he 'accidentally' resurrects Beric, he becomes quite serious about his religion and vows to curb his excesses in drinking. Dies on a mission beyond the Wall to capture a wight (show-version).
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'''The Free Cities'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Nine city-states to the West of Westeros, for the most part, the old colonies of the Valaryian Freehold. Mostly they are ruled by Merchant Princes. They look down on the Westerosi for being a bunch of up jumped backwards war-mongering morons who are only a few silverware sets and maesters away from absolute barbarism. In turn, the Westerosi look down on the Free Cities as being money-grubbing effete cowards ruled by cheesemongers who use bribery, tall walls and dirty tricks to get ahead in the world.

* Illyrio Mopatis: A rich fat bastard and a Magister of Pentos. Old buddies with Varys and a bigtime schemer.
* [[Officio Assassinorum|The Faceless Men]]: A cult of shape-shifting assassins who worship The Many-Faced God of death based in the free city of Braavos that give up personal identity. They claim descent from escaped Valyrian slaves who considered death to be a better fate than perpetual slavery. Their mission hence became being servants of the Many-Faced God of Death. You can hire them to off your rivals, but they request a steep and equivalent price. Their motto is "Valar Morghulis": All Men Must Die.
* Xaro Xhoan Daxos: One of the thirteen leaders of the city of Qarth. A flamboyant, languid, bald rich man who looks after Daenerys while she stays in Qarth and gives her many gifts. He wants her dragons as much as anyone else and even tries to marry her despite his homosexual tendencies. He stops wanting the dragons later in the book series after seeing [[RIP AND TEAR|their work in Astapor]], and no longer wants her around as her anti-slavery stance is hampering his wealth, so he offers Daenerys ships to leave the area and declares war on her when she refuses. In the show, he's heterosexual, helps steal her dragons, fucks one of her handmaidens and gets locked in a vault for conspiring to have her killed. He's also black and fat in the show when he's white and lanky in the books, being Qartheen and all.
* Syrio Forel: The former First Sword of Braavos (aka the ruler's personal bodyguard) and later Arya's mentor in King's Landing. He teaches her the way of Braavosi fencing, called "Water Dancing", and sacrifices himself to save her from Lannister thugs, taking down at least six of them with a wooden sword. May have inadvertently set her on the path of becoming a badass assassin by telling her of his belief in the God of Death.

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'''The Dothraki'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Horse people who live in a country of endless grass plains referred to by others as the Dothraki sea. They only have one city, called Vaes Dothrak, which is less of a city and more of a place they all meet when important things have to be discussed. Have traits borrowed from several cultures, including Mongols and Native Americans, all filtered through European misconceptions of those cultures of course, such as the Dothraki's antipathy for heavy armour, despite the fact that the Mongols were very heavily armoured and also excelled as infantry, see the Battle of Leignitz. They fear the ocean because of its size and the fact that horses won't drink from it, calling it the "poison water".

* Khal Drogo: An Expy of <s>Genghis Khan</s> Yesukhei Baatyr (his son would have been the equivalent to Chinggis Khaan). Leads the largest Khalassar among the Dothraki. Despite being a barbarian warlord, Drogo is surprisingly intelligent and treats Daenerys well. After an assassin tries to kill her he promises to conquer Westeros for her and their unborn son and immediately starts raiding towns for slaves and ships. At one town he gets cut in a leadership challenge and Daenerys gets a captive wise woman to heal him. However, the woman hates him because his tribe destroyed her hometown, raped/slaughtered or enslaved her friends and raped her three times so she curses him to become catatonic (along with killing his unborn son), leading a devastated Daenerys to perform an arguable mercy kill by smothering him with a pillow. After she burns herself, her stillborn child and the wise woman on his funeral pyre, Daenerys survives and it brings her dragons to life. GRRM named Drogo after [[The Lord of the Rings|Frodo's father]].
* Daenerys' handmaidens.
** Doreah: Daenerys' handmaiden and a wedding gift from Illyrio. A woman from Lysene brought by her brother to teach her how to pleasure a man. In the book she dies of fever and starvation crossing a desert, in the TV show, she betrays Daenerys for [[Salamanders|Xaro's BBC]] and gets locked in a vault to starve to death.
** Irri: Daenerys' handmaiden who teaches Daenerys how to ride a horse. [[PROMOTIONS|Also pleasures Daenerys twice after catching her masturbating once]], yet this canonical girl-on-girl action was left out of the show. The character was even killed off there when she survived in the books, but in this case, it was because her actress' visa had expired rather than [[C.S. Goto|author railroading]].
** Jhiqui: Daenerys' handmaiden who teaches her the Dothraki language and squabbles with Irri over wanting one of Daenerys' bodyguards when he becomes a badass. Also dies in the TV show while staying alive so far in the books.

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'''Slavers Bay'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">A civilization of [[Stupid Evil]] slavers. The remains of a previous civilization that was once the big powerful empire thanks to having phalanxes of obedient, pain-resistant soldiers which Valyria conquered a long while ago because phalanxes don't do too well against motherfucking dragons. They are ruled by wealthy slave mongers who buy slaves, train them up to do specific things and generally are a bunch of stuck up, decadent, puppy-eating (literally) assholes. Basically a civilization so repugnant even most hippies will be cheering when Dany decides to conquer them.

* The Unsullied: Eunuch phalanx fighting slave soldiers trained the Spartan way to produce totally obedient infantry that never break ranks. They also don't feel pain due to drinking a special drink daily, and each one has to take a new name from the name box each day so they can't develop a sense of identity. At least until Dany "bought" the lot of them, had them sack the city which trained them, and freed them.
* Grey Worm: The Unsullied Commander and a no-nonsense badass. When given a chance to take a new name he keeps his slave name because it's the name he had when freed so he considers it lucky. He is completely loyal to Daenerys, considering her his saviour, and in the show, he falls in love with fellow freed-woman, Missandei. This being ASOIAF, however, he can only watch helplessly as his lover is beheaded in front of him by the Mountain. This drives him into a rage, and he eagerly takes part in the sacking of King's Landing in revenge for her death. After the war is over and both Daenerys and Cersei are dead, he takes the Unsullied forces to Naath, in order to fulfil his promise to Missandei that he'd protect her homeland.
* Strong Belwas: A fat but skilled eunuch gladiator. Loves liver and onions and referring to himself in the third person. Travelling companion/guide of Ser Barristan. Has an awesome scene where he beats the champion of Meereen then mocks the Meereenese by taking a shit in their direction and wiping his ass on their dead champion's cloak. Also saves Daenerys from eating poisoned sweets. [[FAIL|Left out of the show]].
* Daario Naharis: A Tyroshi mercenary captain who dyes his hair blue. Betrays his fellow commanders for Daenerys because he loves her as a queen. Fortunately for him, Daenerys loves him back and they pursue a romance for a time, though she doesn't marry him as she's still otherwise smart enough to know she has to save herself for a political marriage. Goes to Yunkai as a hostage in the war on Meereen. Also potentially a shapeshifter, if the show is to be believed.
*Missandei: A young slave woman with a remarkable talent for linguistics and one of the more empathetic people in this dark world, Missandei is freed by Daenerys during her campaign to liberate Slaver's Bay, eventually becoming one of her closest confidants and advisers. She falls in love with the Unsullied eunuch Grey Worm, but later is captured by Cersei and beheaded by the Mountain in front of all her friends, but not before telling her friends to burn the Lannisters to ashes.

</div></div>
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'''The Others'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">A mysterious race from beyond the Wall, known to [[newfag|HBO fans]] as "the White Walkers". Can be described as ice demons/snow elves with necromancy. Eight thousand years ago, they invaded Westeros during a decades-long winter known as "the Long Night". With an army of undead warriors, they proceeded to fuck Westeros up every which way to [[Sunday]] before the locals finally drove them out, established the Night's Watch, and built the Wall to keep them out. Like all fantasy aspects of ASOIAF, they are very cliched. In the TV series, it's revealed that they were created from human captives by "The Children", the pseudo-[[Elf]] fair folk race that lived in Westeros before humanity arrived, as an attempt to create a super-weapon. The idea was since humanity bred faster than the Children could keep up with, they would create icy [[lich]]-creatures that could create [[undead]] soldiers, and these would then wipe out all human life. Instead, it went disastrously wrong because it turned out that the Children actually couldn't control what they'd created, so the Others [[Ork|just want to exterminate '''all''' life.]]
* Night's King: A long time ago, when the Night's Watch was just barely getting set up, its Lord Commander, the thirteenth in line, decided to climb over the Wall and explore some. While in the woods to the north of the Wall, he found a beautiful [[Monstergirls|Other female]]. He fell in love with her, had [[/d/|sex with her on top of the Wall]], which somehow changed him into an albino version of [[Star Wars|Darth Maul]], and set himself up as King of the Wall, making everyone in the Watch his slaves and sacrificial fodder. Naturally, this didn't sit too well with the Starks and the Wildlings, and so they banded together to free the Watch and kick his ass, which they managed to do successfully. Now everyone thinks him as dead or a myth. In the HBO version of the story, this whole backstory is basically dropped; he was the very first White Walker ever created by the Children, and he decided to get back at them by wiping out all life. Also, whilst he was apparently beaten in the ancient past and sealed away behind the Wall, he's still "alive" and well, [[Daemonculaba|turning infant human boys into new White Walkers]]. Also, he can apparently raise up entire legions of undead, just by raising his arms and looking completely smug about it; unlike regular Others, who can just raise up maybe a village at most. Given that he's the resident [[BBEG|Dark Lord]] of the series, it makes sense that he can take down a dragon with seemingly little effort (a simple throw of his spear), and resurrect it to be his personal steed a la Arthas. Used it to blow a hole in the Wall and begin [[The End Times]] for Westeros. Now dead thanks to Arya's magic ninja haxx letting her kill the BBEG and his entire race and army of zombies in one blow.
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</div>

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'''Gods and their followers'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> The world of ASOIAF has various religions and faiths abound, just like in real life. Similarly, they range between fucking awesome to utterly useless.

*[[Ecclesiarchy|The Faith of the Seven]]: The Catholic Church stand-in, which gets both sympathetic (books only) and unsympathetic (books and show) characters associated with it. Holds an anti-slavery stance. The god/s are considered seven aspects of one deity with three male aspects (The Smith, the Father, the Warrior), three female aspects (The Maiden, the Mother, the Crone) and an asexual one representing Death. The places of worship are called Septs, and their system includes Septons, nun-equivalents called Septas and a Pope equivalent called a High Septon. The High Septons all give up their names when they become one to confuse future historians.
** High Septon 1: A fat, greedy man who used the position for personal gain. He ended up being [[Grimdark|torn apart in a riot]], because the people resented that he had enough food to stay fat while they were starving.
** High Septon 2: Successor of High Septon 1. Chosen by Tyrion so the Faith would be loyal to the Lannisters. Only ''slightly'' corrupt, being a pro-Lannister yes-man. Murdered on Cersei's order in the book, while in the show he's retconned into a whoremonger who gets deposed by the Sparrows (see below).
** High Septon 3/The High Sparrow: Successor of High Septon 2. After the second High Septon died, the smallfolk burst into the meeting to pick a successor and ordered their chosen candidate to be put in charge when his original successor was caught whoremongering. He'd been a wandering preacher beforehand, and his feet were dark and gnarled from lots of walking. When he reaches the position he starts [[gets shit done|getting things done]]. Since he was appointed by a smallfolk religious movement called Sparrows, he's given the moniker "The High Sparrow". The nobility underestimates him, either due to having other matters or disregard for religious people, but he turns out to be smart, well-meaning and somewhat ruthless. Under the High Sparrow, he and the other clergymen sell their fancy clothes and decorations [[Noblebright|replacing them with simple wool tunics, using the money to buy food and clothes for the poor in King's Landing]]. He also has their Knights-Templar-equivalent reformed to [[Inquisition|protect the faithful and help them root out]] [[heresy]] and sin. He also outwits Cersei and has her arrested and tried for all her evil deeds. While Cersei's scheming does lead to Margaery's arrest, Cersei confesses to some crimes while concealing others, leading to Cersei taking a nude walk of penance in front of the entire city. After this, he somewhat reined in the nobles' politicking to actually look after the commoners and the Faith, though this does make some enemies. In the show, he and the Sparrows are [[C.S Goto|retconned]] from assorted smallfolk and clergymen tired of the nobles' lawlessness and power plays into one-dimensional stereotypes and thinly-veiled jabs at the Catholic Church [[Imperial Truth|in a shoe-horned anti-religion message]]. While they do arrest Cersei and Margaery like in the books, during the trial most of the Faith, including the High Sparrow himself, get blown to kingdom come when Cersei has her agents ignite a massive amount of magical napalm underneath the Great Sept.
* [[Old Ones|Old Gods]]: Native American/Japanese Kame/Druid/nature spirits that reside in places called Godswoods. Their powers are limited to the North, where the last remaining Godswoods remain, but they can grant gifted individuals awesome psychic powers like Warging (mind-controlling animals) and Greensight (Time Travel). For some reason, Martin claims they're based off the Norse Gods. Probably has to do with the way the Vikings made sacrifices to their gods, by hanging them in Ash trees, a symbol for the World Tree Yggdrasil. The Weirwood trees are sacred to the followers of the Old Gods in a similar way. Mostly worship of them is quiet and informal.
* R'hllor: The God of Fire and Light, and like the Old Gods, actually shows evidence for existing. [[/tg/ gets shit done|He gets shit done]] such as fire magic and Resurrection. Has a nasty habit for burning heretics, though. GRRM said this faith is roughly based (read: poorly modelled after) upon Zoroastrianism and Gnosticism. His nemesis is The Great Other: the god of cold and darkness, the leader of the Others, and prophesied to be defeated by the chosen one, or messianic figure: [[Star Child|Azor Ahai/The Prince That Was Promised]], a figure who is the prophesied warrior that will fight with the Great Other/Night's King during the Apocalypse. Interestingly enough, the prophecy may not refer to a single person, but three (Jon, Tyrion/Bran, and Daenerys). Supposedly, one of these three will also receive an [[Emperor's Sword|awesome flaming sword called "Lightbringer"]].
* Him of Many Faces: The god of the Dead of the religion whose followers are the [[Officio Assassinorum|Faceless Men]]. According to his cult of assassins, whom Arya joins, every other god is him in a different form and he requires his assassins to utterly forget their past identities in service to him. Has a heyday during the Battle of King's Landing and the Red Wedding. His followers are granted shapeshifting abilities and powers to be the ultimate assassins.
* Drowned God: Cthulhu combined with Odin. Runs an underwater Valhalla were all Ironborn go whey they either if they drowned at sea, the men die a manly death or the women die in childbirth.

</div></div>

==The appeal of A Song of Ice And Fire==
Exactly what catches the eyes of [[Skub|a given fan/critic/lout who complains about how bad it is anytime the show is mentioned within earshot]] to ASOIAF and its TV adaptation varies from individual to individual. Still, there's a couple of major draws.

'''The Worldbuilding:''' The main reason why this series gets compared to [[The Lord of the Rings]], ASOIAF is literally ''drowning'' under the weight of its worldbuilding, being crammed as full of facts about fictitious regions, histories, cultures, dynasties and races as GRRM can fit it. Your mileage will vary on how ''good'' that info is, but there's plenty of info in it.

'''Mainstream [[Dark Fantasy]]:''' Dark Fantasy is not exactly a mainstream niche. ASOIAF stands out by deliberately trying to market itself to the mainstream, despite embracing an abundance of dark fantasy tropes; gratuitous violence, sexuality and sexual violence, moral ambiguity, political intrigue, and a willingness to suddenly kill off any character, even the most likeable or heroic of them.

'''[[Low Fantasy]]:''' On the surface, ASOIAF is an old-school Low Fantasy setting, being a medieval-tech world with the story openly focused on the mundane lives of people struggling for political power and though supernatural elements do exist, they tend to be used sparingly.

'''[[High Fantasy]]:''' But if you scratch the surface, ASOIAF is also a High Fantasy setting, which is always the more marketable of the two, with the big backstory about how the world is facing impending doom from an army of wintery [[fey]] and their [[undead]] minions. There are also non-evil higher powers working against them, but they get swept under the rug in the show. Also, [[dragon]]s. As the more marketable genre, it's also inevitably the more skubby one, for whatever that's worth.

'''[[Magical Realm|Gratuitous Sexuality]]:''' More a thing for the TV show than the book; the frequent scenes of nudity and sex in the early seasons were a ''big'' selling point for many people (the casting of people from the sex industry for some of these scenes also helped).

'''Not much in terms of generic fantasy tropes:''' Hate how almost every fantasy just has to have things popularized by Tolkien such as elves, dwarves, orcs and all that stuff? You're in luck because ASOIAF features none of them. It does have [[dragon]]s and [[undead]] though so if you hate them too, well...

==Oh Yeah, About The TV Show==
[[image:KnightsWhoSayFuck.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Yeah, pretty much.]]
After the first three books became hits, many Hollywood producers and directors had come to the sadistic neckbeard, asking him about making a movie adaptation. At first, he was reluctant, at best, due to the fact that a whole lot of his content would've been cut out to be fit into a movie trilogy (see the Lord of the Rings live-action films). Then, a couple of dudes, David Benioff and D.B/Daniel Brett Weiss (AKA D&D, or more accurately as of the final season, Dumb & Dumber), decided to contact him and asked him at a local restaurant about turning ASOIAF into a Television show produced by HBO, the top-rated soft-core porno channel. The story goes that George, before giving them his consent, asks them a very specific question (Who is Jon Snow's mother?). Satisfied with the response they gave, he gave them permission to start work on the show, which would be titled after the first book, ''Game of Thrones''. They would later go on to prove that this is not a good way of choosing who should adapt your work.

The television show casts several well-known performers, such as Sean Bean as Eddard, Peter Dinklage as Tyrion, Lena Headey as Cersei, and Charles Dance as Tywin. They have also cast some comparatively less well-known actors and even ones new to cinema, such as Sophie Turner (Sansa), Maisie Williams (Arya), Kit Harington (Jon), Iwan Rheon (Ramsay), Alfie Allen (Theon), and Richard Madden (Robb).

'''TL;DR'''

[[GM|Producers Dumb&Dumber-style change characters and railroad the plot at a whim,]] [[/d/M|the tits and ultraviolence spigot is opened even wider than the books,]] and most scenes are made for the actors to show off their skills at making their signature angry/murder/brooding/etc. faces.

Thus, book snobs seem to think that every episode post-season 3 is nothing more than Emmy-bait. Regardless of the fact Kit Harington still [[Fail|doesn't have an Emmy]], there's a valid contention in that regard, with the number of liberties taken overshadowing the initial appeal.

The final season was eventually revealed to be such a train wreck because Dumb & Dumber did not want to work on the series anymore and had let the success with the earlier seasons go to their heads. In their arrogance, instead of handing the reins to someone else, they decided to plan out their own ending and use it as an audition to Disney so they could write for Star Wars. By then, they'd run out of books to adapt, there was no superior writing for them to leech off of and there was no one to gainsay them in their echo chamber of a writer's room (even George himself was cut out). The result was absolutely shit writing that caused a glorious breakage in the [[skub]] dam that left [[Butthurt|many a fan's anus weeping]] (provided they weren't early seasons fans, book series fans, or any of the other assorted onlookers [[Lulz|taking part in the mightiest of keks]]) and, if anything proved <s>George's </s> Ramsay's quote at the beginning of the article true. Goddamn Dumb & Dumber, could you talentless faggots do any worse if you tried? Luckily, comeuppance came after them and Disney, having some sense, told them to fuck off with their Star Wars ideas after the backlash towards the final season.

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="width:100%">
'''What about the final season?'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">
Long story short, the Army of the Dead is destroyed in an epic battle, where the ancient and super-powerful BBEG gets killed by some sleight-of-hand. Meanwhile, Daenerys has spent the last two seasons being stripped of her plot armour; she's lost most of her supporters - including one of her dragons - and has been forced to confront the fact that nobody in Westeros wants her around. Especially not the Northerners, where Sansa is basically playing the "Northern Independence Now!" movement to try and get her own bum in a throne after seven seasons of being a plaything for people with actual power. The kicker is she's fallen in love with Jon Snow, but he learns he's actually her nephew - and the fruit of a legitimate marriage between her elder brother Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark that was handled in secret. This discovery not only caused him to back away from her (because he's got Northerner values, so fucking his aunt squicks him out... not that it stopped him from doing it at least once), but also makes him a threat to her political standing, which is something Varys makes plans to exploit. When Tyrion found out Jon wouldn't back down, he told Danerys about it, for which she had Drogon burn Varys to ash. When she forces the survivors of the final battle to march on King's Landing, another of her dragons ends up dead and her only remaining friend captured and executed by Cersei. So she attacks King's Landing... and then, when her followers manoeuvre around her to get the city to surrender rather than die to the last, she snaps and burns most of the city to ashes. She then decides to continue ramming her head against the proverbial wall and embraces her personal narrative of herself as a divinely chosen hero-queen meant to "free" the world by conquering everybody, having lost interesting in just ruling Westeros around the same time she lost her fucking mind. Such is her insanity that Jon Snow ends up sticking a dagger in her heart rather than let her kill Sansa and Arya, who he knows will resist her.

Jon proceeds to somehow not get killed by her last surviving dragon who pretty much knows Jon killed his momma because plot reasons, and it destroys the Iron Throne ([[What|by accident, according to the showrunners]]) while chucking a tantrum over Dany's death before grabbing her body and flying off to parts unknown. This leaves everybody stuck trying to figure out what to do, [[The Empire (Warhammer Fantasy)|but ultimately they decide to replace a dynastic monarchy with an elective one]], and make Bran the new king because, hey, he's the 3-Eyed Raven and has the seer powers to see all of space and time, so he's the least worst option they have (he's also trying to find and take control of the aforementioned dragon). The North secedes from the Seven Kingdoms, but nobody gives a damn, and Jon Snow is formally banished to the Wall - where instead he wanders off into the wilderness with the surviving Wildlings, with the land showing signs of exiting its endless winter. [[The Lord of the Rings|Arya runs off to sail to the West,]] and Sansa is crowned Queen in the North.

</div></div>

==GRRM and [[Your Dudes]]==
Want to make your own ASoIF setting for a role-playing game? Well, readers have enough room to fantasize about their own minor noble House (or kingdom during the Age of the Hundred Kingdoms).

A good example of what you could do is the House from the old [[/v/|"Telltale Game of Thrones"]], House Forrester. Their relationship to the canon is as follows:

House Forrester (lords of someplace in the Wolfswood) '''-> is sworn to ->''' House Glover (overall lords of the entire Wolfswood) '''-> is sworn to ->''' House Stark (rulers of the North).

There's also an actual tie-in tabletop RPG now, which uses its own system and looks kind of like [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]] with a heavy helping of resource-management strategy feel.
Players are assuming the role of a minor House to guide to glory, or, more accurately given the setting we're in, NOT to ruin utterly in a season or two, which would still be more than many A-list players mustered in canon. Each PC has a specific position within said House, and only the role of official Head is mandatory; the rest could be wife/children/brothers and sisters/all other kinds of siblings, bastards (with rules for obtaining the legitimate recognition), maesters, sworn/subservient knights, or most of anybody else. This naturally opens up near-infinite possibilities for families screwed up seven ways to high heavens, which would make Lannister's brand of infighting-slash-inbreeding look as sane as the High Septon.

The setting is also ill-suited for "adventures in Westeros" style of gaming for two reasons:
#In the grim darkness of low fantasy, a roaming nobody with no banner to talk about, no House allegiance, no nothing isn't generally treated to a Tavern With Quest Givers, but rather more to a Tavern Where You Are Shanked For Your Sword And Boots And Dumped At The Nearest Forest. Heck, even the big wheelers and dealers are routinely seen invited to the latter when they are slow to properly introduce themselves.
#Working on your initially-puny House will quite realistically involve thy neighbours first and foremost, then liege lords from the higher House yours is sworn to, and on occasion shopping around for an advantageous marriage - there simply ain't gonna be that much spare time to "travel to see places". Both of these are also why tourism wasn't a very popular pastime in medieval Europe and why those who were "living on the road" usually enjoyed the lowest social standing.

A note to aspiring Lords: do NOT, under any circumstances, allow your "combat-optimized" siblings an unsupervised minute in a social setting. Game's "social combat" system is a thing more brutal than the physical one, and it takes a socially-optimized character all of a few minutes to mindfuck one who is not (read: everyone but dedicated diplomats and Heads of the Houses, and not every one of the latter, to boot, as illustrated by several amazing boneheads in canon) into believing pretty much anything short of Grumpkins and Snarks. Stupid NPCs or a stupid GM will make said mindfuck obvious, allowing you to "mindfuck 'em back" without abuse of OOC info; cunning ones will not.

On a side-note; GRRM is said to take a dim view of fanfiction, saying it kills creative ability. This is kind of a double-edged statement, since a lot of George's characters here are either rehashes of his characters from previous works, references to other fictional characters (like Littlefinger and Samwell being based on Jay Gatsby and [[The Lord of the Rings|Samwise Gamgee]]), walking tropes (such as Ned Stark and Robb Stark being the "[[TVTropes|Honor Before ]] [[Lawful Stupid|Reason]]" characters) or historical references (such House Lannister ripping off House Lancaster and House Tyrell being totally-not-House-Tudor - to the point that Margaery Tyrell is played by Natalie Dormer from "The Tudors" TV show). While this makes everything he wrote just another...fanfiction, and his disapproval hypocritical. Still, given the "creative" output of the average neckbeard, he does have a point. Ironically he sold the rights to make a TV series of the books to HBO, who then went on to make a glorified fanfic.

==Games==
[[image:AGot-2nd-ed-cardfan.png|thumb|250px]]
Like any fantasy author who finds themselves unexpectedly in the warm embrace of commercial success Martin quickly licensed the shit out of his setting, spawning everything from resin miniatures to replica great swords. While most of this is worthless junk to foist on [[Neckbeard|obsessive fanboys]] /tg/ has agreed that a few of the games are made of win. The first two are a collectable [[CCG|card game]] put out in 2002 by [[Fantasy Flight Games]] and a [[risk]]-esque board game that followed shortly after in 2003. One of [[White Wolf]]'s subsidiaries also put out a d20 RPG in 2005 but it quickly tanked because, come on, White Wolf. Martin since wrested the rights back and developed a new version with Green Ronin games.

Now let's have some serious talks about the Game of Thrones games because they have become some sort of endless source of amusement and frustration for the gaming fanbase. Game of Thrones is roughly speaking the second franchise with the most licensed board games, after star wars, and some of them have acquired quite a legendary status and a fanbase that goes beyond the book or series fans.

The great juggernaut for all the ASOIAF based games is Fantasy Flight Games

First and foremost we have the Game of Thrones board game, a game that after two editions still ranks high in the BGG top 100 board games, and has recently had an expansion. The Game of Thrones board game has become some sort of meme for the modern board gamers and it could be considered the equivalent of a more advanced risk, in which dice and blank character got replaced by a very flavourful and brutal combat system and a lot of thematical mechanics fueling the engine. Overall this game has been associated with concepts such as requiring maximum player count to really be entertaining, having an amazing amount of length and depth and being a very faithful representation of the political feeling the series inspired. Almost any boardgamer or wargamer worth his salt has played this game and enjoyed its highs, its lows and the amazing amount of frustrations it brings. This is probably the most well known of all the ASOIAF games and it was released way before Game of Thrones was a cultural phenomenon back in 2003.

Another game that bears mention, both for its excellent mechanics and its historical significance is the game of thrones card game. It is one of the most balanced card game experiences you can get, also full of flavour and with quite a great amount of balance and non-linear thinking. The best part is, unlike other card games, the game has a "living card game" release format, in which players know exactly what each booster pack brings and can buy cards in a more responsible manner rather than playing bingo and hoping to get a rare card. Also, the sole core set already provides more replayability than some fully-fledged board games.

Finally, the last game to mention in the FFG venerable trilogy of games is "Battles of Westeros", arguably the most ambitious and least successful of the three. Battles of Westeros was a fully-fledged wargame that used the Memoir 44/battlelore rules as a base, but then evolved into its own by introducing mechanics such as commanders, tactic cards and very creative scenario rules. Miniatures were made in 15 mm and for their time and scale they were quite detailed, some commanders are real standouts(I´m looking at you Robb Stark(with his wolf jumping at his side) and Rickard Karstark). Thanks to its scale, the game was able to provide players with a great number of options and units at a fraction of the price of other board games. With a core set that was already stacked with units and variety and then faction-specific expansions that added several more units and commanders. The game also came with scenario books that provided narrative play with quite creative rule variants, such as storming palisades, having decoys in escort missions and bombarding enemies with catapults. One scenario even tried to bring to life the battle of the blackwater (the hybrid invasion of kings landing by Stannis the Mannis). The game was incredible and quite a creative wargame, but its main issue was that the setup time was just terrible. Incredibly complex and tiresome when compared to the actual gameplay time.

And then the miniature producing Kickstarter juggernaut CMON decided to produce its own wargame, with AMAZING miniatures.

As this is CMON the game began with a [[https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/cmon/a-song-of-ice-and-fire-tabletop-miniatures-game]kickstarter], and after that, the game has had at least 2 dozen more releases with 3 more factions added.

The game has some mechanics taken from rank and file games such as KOW combining them with mechanics taken out of "battles of Westeros" particularly the tactics deck.
A new page is in the works [[ASOIAF Miniature Game]]

==Books==
*''A Game of Thrones''
*''A Clash of Kings''
*''A Storm of Swords'': Split into 2
*''A Feast for Crows'': half the characters, the point where the series goes down the toilet
*''A Dance with Dragons'': split into 2 the first is about the other half of the characters, and manages to pick things up a bit
*''The Winds of Winter'': First rumored to be ready by late 2018. Though he has shared chapters of the book, it's still not out despite being given an official release time of summer 2020. It might happen by 2030 if we're really lucky
*''A Dream of Spring'' : Unreleased and unlikely to ever be.
** GRRM will most likely die before writing this
*''The Dunk and Egg Series'': A story about a landless hedge knight travelling across Westeros with a Targaryen squire, so he can teach him how not to be an asshole to peasants.

==On The "Grimdarkness" of the Setting==

One important note: While the setting is usually held to be "Grimdark", it is also very true to Real Life in its nastiness, with real consequences for assholes.

For example: The King can order the execution of the head of the leading noble family of the North, for essentially no reason, but now he doesn't have hostages to exchange when their armies come after him seeking revenge. (And all this is modelled on various occasions where more or less '''exactly''' this kind of thing happened in Real Life Medival Europe.)

In other words: Truely heinous shit goes on, and there's nothing ''stopping'' that kind of shit... but there are ''consequences'' to that kind of shit that act as an effective counterbalance against being seen to do that kind of shit to the smarter nobles in the kingdom.

Whether the setting fully qualifies for "Grimdark" is a matter for debate, in other words.

==See Also==
*[[/tg/ Song of Ice and Fire Houses]]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U7NpSubAJQ Weiner, Weiner weiner]

[[category: Literature]]

A Song of Ice and Fire

2021-02-13T14:58:40Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* House Greyjoy */

[[image:Game_of_Thrones_Title-DVD.png|300px|thumb|WIENER PARTY! WIENER PARTY!]]

{{Spoilers}}
{{Grimdark}}
'''Warning: This article contains so many spoilers we're ruining books that haven't even been released yet.'''

{{Topquote|If you think this story has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.|Ramsay Bolton, nailing the grimdark theme of this series}}

'''''A Song of Ice and Fire''''' (more better known as '''''Game of Thrones''''') is a [[Grimdark]] fantasy book series for people who hate fantasy. Its central themes include [[Tzeentch|political Machiavellian scheming]], [[Khorne|ultraviolence]], [[Slaanesh|incest/sex with exposition]], and [[Nurgle|everyone trying to survive in such a Crapsack World of perpetual suffering]]. Thus it has become one of the most popular series of our generation and its author, [[George R. R. Martin]], has been praised for his highly realized world and gritty low fantasy style. He was even called "the American [[Tolkien]]" by <s>Time magazine</s> gormless idiots who lump diametrically different writers together for no other reason than that they're both fantasy authors, which would probably explain its sudden spike in popularity following the TV show (at least [[Skub|to a point, anyway.]]) The great joke of an actual World War veteran writing a story about heroic knights and elves being compared to and contrasted with a conscientious objector who writes [[edgy|dark (ranging from edgy to grimderp)]] fantasy is not lost on most.

The series itself is set on the [[Original character, do not steal|totally not medieval European ripoff]] realm of Westeros as it is wracked by a massive succession war drawing its realms into conflict. Everyone's picking up the pieces from the pervious war until one family's bid for power starts another war (book one), A bunch of dudes declare themselves kings (book two), they're burning the continent down in their scramble for power, and somehow all the fuck-ups managed to lose anyway (book three). Just when the guys who lost the least start thinking they get to rule over the remaining chaos, more fuck ups happen and more dudes show up (book four). Sadly, winter has finally come and, unbeknownst to most people, [[Thousand Sons|evil ice wizards leading soulless undead]] [[Alpha Legion|assumed to be only myths by most people]] are about to invade the continent from the north. By the fifth book, things are going and/or will go to shit even for the bad guys.

According to a leaked fan conversation, George R. R. Martin jokingly stated the series would end with an epic cock-slap fight between Samwell Tarly and Jaime Lannister.

TL;DR: [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Roses War of Roses] redux, with a side helpin' of <s>cliched fantasy</s> George's old sci-fi writing plots given a fantasy overhaul and [[/d/]]-lite.

[[ASOIAF Miniature Game|Miniature game has their own page now]]

==Characters==
{{cleanup}}
Since these books have some thousand named characters, you won't remember most of them without an obsessive disorder over details.
Here's a relatively shortlist (mostly based on the TV series rather than the books, but seems to randomly switch between the two) for the characters you'll care about.

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===House Stark===

''"Winter Is Coming"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Honourable, bro-tier northerners who always [[Space Wolves|compare themselves to direwolves]]. They have a tendency towards [[Lawful Stupid]] that proves to bite them in the ass due to naivete about how [[Tzeentch|Westerosi corrupt politics actually works]]. They're also arguably the protagonists of the setting. Basically Scotland and/or the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_york House of York].
* Eddard Stark, ''The Quiet Wolf'': Patriarch, lord and POV death-puppet. Not nearly as stupid as everyone tries to pretend, but still a dead man walking.
* Robb Stark, ''The Young Wolf'': Shiny, [[Lawful Stupid]] King Arthur-like hero. After waging a successful war to avenge his murdered father, he was betrothed to a noblewoman but he ended having comfort sex with a virgin noblewoman which may have been arranged by her scheming bitch mother, while in softcore porno he got the hots for a commoner. Cacks it nastily: he got his head cut off and his pet's wolf's head stuck on his body, which was paraded around while his enemies chanted "HERE COMES THE KING IN THE NORTH!" In other words, he's a Scottish [[Roman Empire|Hannibal Barca]].
* Sansa Stark: Useless teenage girl extraordinaire at the start of the series with dreams of marrying a prince and "having lots of babies", but gets shat on hard by reality. Becomes Littlefinger's replacement goldfish when Catelyn's no longer around, her father got killed and her best friend was sold as a sex slave, and ended up in the worst relationship we can possibly imagine with King Joffrey. [[Grimdark|Even got deflowered via rape by Ramsey Bolton]] and married to him before managing to escape with the help of others. Currently acting as a co-ruler to her brother/cousin Jon Snow, and has learned much from her suffering, allowing her to kick Littlefinger out of the Great Game via throat slitting. While in the book Littlefinger is/was setting her up at House Arryn to claim the Vale and the North, the show version becomes QUEEN IN DA NORF in the final episode.
* Arya Stark: Little tomboy assassin. Has a kill list, but doesn't get to use it so long as she is an amnesiac apprentice of [[Officio Assassinorum|the Friendly Neighborhood Assassins Guild]]. After breaking away (in the TV series) from the Faceless Men she heads back to Westeros to get revenge on a LOT of people, giving her one of the highest kill counts in the series. Is currently back with her sister Sansa, acting as a general "troubleshooter". Kills the Night King like a fucking champion [[Skub|(or, alternatively, in a nonsensical plot twist)]] in Season 8, and is now riding south to add Cersei to her kill count. Instead, the Hound talks her out of it and she decides to sail into the unknown west.
* Catelyn Stark (nee Tully): A woman who trusts the wrong people at the worst time, causing a lot of misery. Gets killed along with Robb, then comes back (books only) as an undead witch bent on killing all the Boltons, Freys, Greyjoys, Lannisters... pretty much everyone she thinks was tangentially involved in betraying her and her family, or somebody who just pissed her off.
* Bran Stark: Intelligent little boy, named after the founder of House Stark, Brandon the Builder (basically Tony Stark combined with [[Leman Russ]]). He was crippled in the first sign of major [[GrimDark]]. Has prophetic dreams and becomes a [[druid]]. In the TV series, fucks things up by alerting the Others to where he's hiding, which gets all of the Children, his loyal wolf, the Three-Eyed Crow and Hodor killed. For good measure, turns out to have accidentally ''caused'' Hodor to become, well, Hodor, as he was using his druid powers to figure out why Hodor is only able to say Hodor, resulting in Hodor's gruesome death-by-zombies being beamed directly into young! Hodor's brain. He's now the Three-Eyed Raven and likes going around being creepy as fuck and generally weirding people out. Becomes King of the <s>Seven</s> Six Kingdoms in a hilariously nonsensical plot twist in the finale.
* Rickon Stark: Four years old at the start, turning into a real little [[Barbarian]] from not being raised properly, because everyone who would have raised him was dead or missing. In the show, he ends up hanging out at the Umbers, then is handed over to Ramsay as a prisoner when Smalljon becomes afraid of the Wildlings living north of him (who were invited by Jon Snow to fight the Zombie Apocalypse), and finally dies via arrow in a sick game of "dodge the missiles" courtesy of Ramsey.
* Jon Snow, ''The White Wolf'': A bastard living in the Stark household before leaving for the Night's Watch (basically [[The Last Chancers|Colonel Schaeffer]] with more convicted rapists under his command) and excels there because nearly every one of his fellow recruits are peasants who have never had a formal days of training while Jon has had the serious training afforded to all lords. After he takes over by becoming the Watch Commander secures and alliance with the Wildlings, ancient barbarian enemies of the Night's Watch, because when the end of the world is coming you tend to think outside the box. Currently revived by R'hllor in the series after being stabbed to death by the senior members of the Watch. Isn't actually Eddard's bastard son, but rather the legitimate son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, meaning that he is, in fact, the rightful heir to the Iron Throne. The new KING IN DA NORF according to his supporters after he killed Ramsay Bolton and took back Winterfell, and is also currently hooking up with his own aunt. He turns on Daenerys once he realizes she's lost it and kills her in the throne room. The Unsullied want his head, but instead, King Bran exiles him to the Night's Watch and he fucks off into the far north to live with the Free Folk.
* Hodor: Hodor. Hodor, Hodor, Hodor. <s>An enormous and possibly retarded stable boy, and Bran's faithful steed.</s> Hodor. Ok, in all actual seriousness, this guy is probably one of the most tragic figures in this series (and that's saying something). [[Grimdark|The guy basically received horrible visions of his own death fighting a horde of zombies, buying time for his friends to escape by literally holding the door shut as he was hacked apart]]. This causes him to suffer a psychiatric break, leading him to develop Immature Personality Disorder and his only speech is to repeat a garbled phrase of his friend's last request "hold the door" for all of his adult life; the logic here is that "hold the door" devolves into "hol' th' door" and eventually "Hodor". You now feel bad for at laughing at the guy.
* Osha: A Wildling woman who surrendered to the Starks and becomes their servant in exchange for not getting killed. Now dead in the show thanks to Ramsay's dickery.</div></div>

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===House Targaryen===

''"Fire and Blood"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The former Dragon kings and rulers of Westeros, [[Eldar|fair-haired purple-eyed beautiful people]] who have descended from the [[Dark Age of Technology|ancient technologically-advanced superpower]] of [[Roman Empire|Valyria]], which collapsed because of [[Fall of the Eldar|their colossal hubris]]. After the anarchic [[Age of Strife|Century of Blood]], the Targaryen patriarch Aegon I, instead of reconquering the lost cause of Essos and of Valyria's former empire, looked towards the rather primitive continent of Westeros, and its squabbling Seven Kingdoms, [[Great Crusade|to establish his own Imperial dynasty and unify the Realm]]. Aegon I is essentially the Low Fantasy version of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_the_Conqueror William the Conqueror] and/or the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]], with a little dash of [[/d/|incest]].

[[Rules Lawyer|Thanks to a loophole]], the Targaryens were immune to the moral objections relating to incest. Common sense (and common decency) took back seat to a time-honoured policy of [[/d/|catastrophic inbreeding]], which made a number of problems. Aegon I married his older and younger sisters and had several kids with each, which would be the start of another Targaryen tradition: the occasional succession crisis. The inbreeding would also lead to a line of almost alternatingly great and lunatic kings, culminating in Aerys "The Mad King" Targaryen and a palace coup. Eventually, the lineage was banished to Essos after a brutal civil war, the remnants trying to gather armies to retake the Iron Throne which they see as rightfully theirs. Basically a family of inbreeding girly-men with a massive sense of superiority and as arrogant as they come, forgetting that most of what they accomplished was due to the fact that only they had dragons. Still, they occasionally did have genuinely good people like Aegon V (aka Egg), Jaeherys I the Conciliator, his wife Good Queen Alysanne and complete badasses like Brynden Bloodraven and Baelor Breakspear.
Pseudo-Romans and/or the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Normandy House of Normandy].

* Aerys II, ''The Mad King'': [[Kharn|A pretty fun guy to be around]]. Had a psychotic fascination for fire, which extended to being a psychotic fascination for burning traitors, a category of people that eventually grew to include anybody he disliked for any reason, anyone who disagreed with him, and a few people who were unlucky enough to be caught in the crossfire. [[Goge Vandire|Teamkilled by his bodyguard Jaime for planning to burn the city down with everyone inside it, and even refused to accept his death until he actually died]].
* [[Mary Sue|Daenerys Targaryen]], ''Stormborn'': She was sold by her brother to a barbarian leader [[Genghis motherfucking Khan|Khal (warlord) Drogo]] in exchange for the promise that he'd use his Khalassar (Warband/tribe) to conquer Westeros. She found her self esteem as his wife, then her husband killed her idiot brother Viserys and promised to conquer the world for Daenerys, making her a full-fledged badass barbarian war queen. Unfortunately, her husband died when [[Derp|Daenerys trusted one of the slaves whose town Drogo had pillaged and burnt to heal an infected wound of his]] and his horde fell apart (though the book is somewhat ambiguous as to whether the slave did kill Drogo). Then she hatched three dragons (completely by accident when she tried to commit suicide) bringing them back from extinction, and now everyone wants to marry her because she is now one of the most powerful people around due to said dragons and being good-looking (in the books this is by the age-of-consent in Westeros standards, where girls are women when they start getting their periods and boys are men at age 13). [[Gets shit done]] except the entire fifth book, in which she mopes around about wanting to marry an annoying, flamboyant mercenary instead of saving herself for political marriage. After banging the flamboyant mercenary, she later marries a Meereenese noble who guarantees he can get her some peace (more likely [[Just As Planned|just as he planned]]). She also does nothing while insurgents kill her men, a horde of plagued refugees spread disease to her city and standing idly by while an enemy army besieges her walls, all for realistically political reasons because the world is a horrible place. Learns how to train her dragon. While she's stuck with a Khalassar in the books, in the TV series she made it to Westeros invading the place with an army of elite hoplites, a massive horde of Dothraki and her dragons. By the time she gets to King's Landing she's taken significant losses, including two of her dragons, and is fucking her nephew (Jon Snow). Has officially gone Mad Queen as of S8E5, wherein she burned most of King's Landing after the city attempted to surrender. Jon kills her in the series finale so that she won't go around burninating the rest of the world.
* The dragons: The three dragons that Daenerys hatched. They're wyverns that breathe fire, [[Awesome|have blood hot enough to melt steel]], and [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|cook their meat before eating it]]. Naturally, some of the coolest things in the story.
** Drogon; named for her late husband, Khal Drogo. Black and Red, the biggest and [[Gork|most aggressive dragon]]. Starts eating people and then escapes, leading to the other two getting imprisoned. Interrupts a gladiator tournament, killing a lot of people before being whipped by Daenerys into flying her to a Khalassar that broke off from her husband's after his death. Is now the last dragon standing after Viserion bites it north of the Wall and his undead body is put down at Winterfell and Rhaegal gets shot down over Dragonstone. Takes Dany's body, destroys the Iron Throne and fucks off to who knows where after Dany is killed.
** Rhaegal; named for the first of her dead brothers, Rhaegar. Green and gold, the [[Mork|cunning one]] and the loudest (with a roar "...that would have sent a hundred lions fleeing,"). Kills Quentyn Martell when the latter is trying to goad Viserion (see below). After breaking out of jail with Viserion they go "all your bases are belong to us" on Meereen, killing people and taking over the pyramid of a loyal family as his lair. Last seen playing "sack the town" with Viserion in the books. Is now dead in the show thanks to Euron Greyjoy and some Diabolus ex Machina bullshit.
** Viserion; named for her other brother Viserys. White and gold and the [[Vulkan|friendliest]] (as dragons go, he still eats people). Dug cave for himself in his jail then moved into another pyramid after his and his brother's great escape. Gets killed by the [[Vampire Counts|Night's King in the show via a magic spear, then his corpse is reanimated to be the Night King's zombie dragon steed]] and blasts a hole in the famous Wall, allowing the armies of snow elves and zombies to start flooding Westeros. Now perma-dead thanks to the Night King biting it.
* Viserys Targaryen, ''The Beggar King'': Daenerys' physically abusive older brother. Best known for being a bully with incestuous lust for her, and an arrogant and incompetent fuck with a massive sense of entitlement. He eventually got himself killed for being an all-around jerk and whiny idiot, which culminated in him threatening his sister and unborn nephew with a sword while drunk in a sacred Dothraki place where weapons and bloodshed are forbidden on pain of death (execution is done by bloodless death - having a scarf wrapped tight around the neck and being drowned in a barrel). Daenerys' husband [[awesome|poured molten gold over his head and called it his promised crown, also ensuring his death didn't technically shed any blood in their sacred place]].
* Aegon Targaryen, ''Aegon VI'': Daenerys' nephew, the son of her brother Rhaegar. Been hiding in Essos for the entire length of the series, but recently raised an army of Westerosi exiles and threw them all a massive Welcome Home party with rape and pillage. Wants to marry his aunt because she has dragons, and might not actually be a member of House Targaryen if you believe some fans. He can actually count past 6, can multiply numbers, can read different language and has a minor understanding of geometry thus cementing him as one of the most educated people in this overwrought series. Can also do his own laundry.
* Brynden Rivers ''Bloodraven'': A Targaryen bastard who came to prominence about a hundred years before the series as sort of sorcerer, he later became known as the "Three-Eyed Raven/Crow" after encountering the Children of the Forest, and uses his powers to help advert the Long Night and train Bran. He's described as having long, white hair, missing an eye, bound to a tree, knows all and sees all, associated heavily with ravens and omens... [[Vikings|yeah, he's very much Odin, come to think of it.]]</div></div>

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===House Lannister===

''Hear Me Roar"/"A Lannister Always Pays His Debts"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">[[Monopoly|Westeros' richest family]], proud, pompous, selfish and fabulous assholes. Not much of a martial tradition but if you cross them [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7t7cnwlOgY they will fucking cut you]. You can tell they are the bad guys because they have an army of sick fucks, including a zebra-riding mercenary band and 7' 8" Khornate Champion <s>not-Goliath</s> Gregor Clegane. House Lancaster combined with the House of Rothschild and the Mafia.
* Tywin Lannister, ''The Lion of Lannister'': The Godfather, head of the house, and obsessed with his reputation as a Magnificent Bastard extraordinaire. Lawful Evil Personified. He was a most feared general whose greatest achievement was [[Exterminatus|erasing House Reyne from existence]], which was immortalised in his own sweet-yet-creepy-as-fuck theme song (The Rains of Castamere) that became used as a warning against anyone standing against him. During his tenure as Hand of the King (i.e. Prime Minister), he was a political genius who operates as the true power behind the Iron Throne, keeping the realm stable and prosperous despite the stupidity of Aerys II and Joffrey. However, despite all of his achievements, he was an [[Emperor|absolutely terrible father]], who treats his children as nothing more than tools to further his political agenda. He is completely blind to the incestuous relationship his two oldest children had, and hated Tyrion and made his life a living hell for very poor reasons. He humiliated Tyrion whenever it wouldn't threaten the family's reputation, berated Tyrion for being a whore-monger despite secretly being one himself, [[Grimdark|tried to get him killed multiple times]], and as the capstone of awful parenting, he taught Tyrion not to marry commoners after he married one called Tysha - by forcing Tyrion to watch Tysha get gang-raped, forcing him to rape her too and then annulling their marriage. The only person Tywin truly loved was his wife. He eventually gets his comeuppance when Tyrion finds out the truth about the Tysha incident and kills him with a crossbow, all while mentioning that out of all his children, Tyrion was the most alike to Tywin himself. He's based on [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Neville,_16th_Earl_of_Warwick Warwick the Kingmaker].
* Joanna Lannister: Tywin's late wife and first cousin, meaning the next three characters are inbred as well, ironically. Dies giving birth to Tyrion, which is part of why Tywin hates him, though Cersei hates him for other reasons. Caught wind of Cersei and Jaime's incestuous tendencies, but she died before she could tell Tywin. It is implied that her ghost visits Jaime in a dream and mourns the current state of her family.
* Cersei Lannister, ''Cunt Queen'': Tywin and Joanna's first child. Twin sister to Jaime Lannister and wife to King Robert Baratheon. She fucks her brother Jaime all the time and had three of his children, whom she passed off as Robert's to grab power. She is a massive narcissist who thinks of herself as "female Tywin" and hence seeks to rule Westeros as the Queen, and will do anything to keep her power... even when [[Abbadon the Despoiler|most of her plans end up becoming utter failures]]. Crazy as all fuck and prophesied to be killed by the "little brother." This is because of a prophecy a Gypsy made when Cersei was a child that she'd be a beautiful queen, lose everything, her children would die before her, and the "Valonqar" would kill her. Though that does explain why she hates Tyrion as hard as all fuck, [[Just As Planned|the exact translation of the term]] that was used is "younger sibling", and not necessarily her sibling, which opens the door to all sorts of characters who hate the fuck out of her. Since Jaime is technically younger by a few seconds, him killing Cersei would be an interesting twist not without buildup. Possibly the Gypsy was messing with her head because of what a bitch Cersei was being to her; something Cersei never grew out of. Cersei is currently alive only because Varys wants her to be, [[Just As Planned|as she's a terrible queen who'll destabilize the realm enough for him to bring back the Targaryens]]. She was completely shaved, stripped of power in all but her royal heritage and forced to do a nude walk of penance throughout the city by the High Sparrow (ASOIAF Pope equivalent) after he uncovered her crimes. Now she's waiting for her hair to grow back and maybe thinking of revenge. She gets it in the show by blowing up the Sept (ASOIAF church) with everyone she doesn't like inside it, having her cousin killed near the Wildfire then capturing the nun who was her jailer and [[Grimdark|leaving her to be tortured to death by zombie Gregor Clegane]]. She is in short Thanquol disguised as a beautiful blonde woman. Gets anticlimactically squashed by a collapsing ceiling along with Jaime during Daenerys's assault on King's Landing. (her biggest issue? to don't die sooner, for the seven's sake!)
* Jaime Lannister, ''The Kingslayer'': Younger twin brother (by about three seconds) to Cersei Lannister and commander of the Kingsguard. He loves his sister in every sense of the word and had three children with her. Killed the last king despite his oath, and is widely hated for it, even though everyone agrees that dying was a massive improvement for Aerys. The reason for this betrayal was that Aerys had a huge stockpile of Acme Brand Magic Napalm stockpiled under the city, ready to be set off the moment a siege broke through the town walls, and Jaime's options were to let it happen or kill Aerys before the crazy fuck got ''everybody'' killed. His desire to openly love his sister and win the respect he feels he deserves eventually causes Cersei to reject him. Starts off as an arrogant douche [[Grimdark|and tried to murder Bran Stark, but accidentally crippled him instead]]; he becomes otherwise quite bro-tier besides the whole wants-to-fuck-his-sister thing, though he grows out of ''that'' as well when he realizes what a bitch she is and that there's plenty of women who want his jock - even the hunky Brienne isn't that bad looking. Thoroughly humbled to boot after learning a few hard lessons, losing his sword hand, and having some time to rethink his life. Also, the only person in his family who treats Tyrion well, along with one of his aunts and two dead uncles. Essentially, a more incestuous and douchey Blood Angel. In the books, he is currently being lured into a trap by Lady Stoneheart. In the show, he has finally told Cersei to get fucked after realizing that she has well and truly lost it, and is riding north to help fight the White Walkers. He survives the Battle of Winterfell, hooks up with Brienne, and then rides south [[Derp|because he just can't let Cersei go.]] Winds up getting shanked by Euron Greyjoy and dies [[Fail|via collapsing ceiling]].
* Tyrion Lannister, ''Halfman'': a very intelligent dwarf who is awesome, but hated by all of the civilized characters in the books, except his brother Jaime. He seems to do much better when getting drunk with whores, rogues, bastards and barbarians. His silver tongue is one of his greatest strengths (he's witty and good at persuading people) and weaknesses (he's quick with insults and the truth in a city ruled by sociopaths and liars). Tyrion is also one of the only characters with an actual sense of the bigger picture, and an interest toward steering the world toward an outcome that ''doesn't'' involve a [[The End Times|Warhammer End Times]] scenario. Unfortunately, the world's movers, shakers, and those who generally have the power to make a difference are increasingly either a) dead, b) scattered to the winds or c) hate his dwarf guts. Despite the increasing difficulty and fruitlessness of his task, however, [[Awesome|Tyrion still fights]]. After being framed for killing Joffrey, he killed his own father and is currently in exile in the Free Cities, weaselling his way into leading a merc band and trying to sign them up with Daenerys' forces, recognizing her as one of the few chances Westeros has got of fixing its shit (provided she can get her own shit together, which she's having a bit of trouble with). Since characters in this series tend to either be walking tropes, rip-offs of other fantasy characters, or historical people with different names, Tyrion is probably based on the great [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miles_Vorkosigan Miles Vorkosigan] (who was himself based on a few people including Sir Winston Churchill) and is a nod to King Richard III (a deformed but competent king later demonized by historians of his era). Even if he is usually the smartest one in the room at any given time, though, Tyrion is still not above having some derp moments. Exhibit A, when Tyrion asked his father what happened to his first wife (right before killing him), he took an ''obvious'' "I don't know and I don't care," response ("Wherever whores go") as actual, literal directions. The show version meets Daenerys and becomes her Hand only to [[Fail|fuck up a bunch of stuff]] and lose her trust. Sells her out when he realizes that she's gone round the bend and winds up becoming Hand to King Bran.
* Kevan Lannister: Tywin's younger brother, considered "the reliable one". One of the few decent Lannisters, though saying that he is perfectly happy carrying out Tywin's bidding. Tried to talk sense into Cersei and was later called in to try and fix her mess. He did such a good job of it that Varys decided to personally thank him. With a crossbow. And a group of knife-wielding children. In the show he dies with the rest of the crowd when the Great Sept got nuked by Cersei - the manner of his book death was given over to Grand Maester Pycelle at the exact same time.
* Cersei and Robert's (actually Jaime's) children:
** Joffrey Baratheon: "Heir" of the throne, and the technical king of Westeros during the War of the Five Kings since he lives in King's Landing and sits on the throne. Turned out to be worse than Aerys. He died and there was much rejoicing. [[Fail|Except by his mother, who instead had sex on his corpse]]. Fourteen years old at the time of his death.
** Tommen Baratheon: The new king on the Iron Throne. Nine years old. Married to a teenaged shotacon wife who's (unknown to him) the granddaughter of his brother's true killer. Trying to litigate the criminalization of beets. Loves [[Cats|kittens]]. He's pretty well-rounded and non-fucked up, which is a miracle considering his parents, both putative and biological. Also seems to be trying to take kinging seriously, but his mom is trying to quash that in her subliminal attempt to hold power indefinitely, so whether it holds is another matter entirely. Prophesied to die before Cersei, which doubly tragic due to his age and being a much better person than her. He commits suicide after Cersei gets her revenge via killing his wife, godfather, great-uncle, and all his religious friends via blowing up the ASOIAF equivalent of St. Peter's Basilica, because of course her power hunger was more important than his happiness and well being.
** Mycella Baratheon: Princess, and Cersei and "Robert's" second oldest child. She had her face fucked up because of Arianne Martell's amateur intrigues, which overlapped with poor planning, general stupidity, and another guy's backstabbing. Ten years old. Before the maiming, she was quite decent and non-evil. Who knows how she'll turn out now with half of her face cut off. Also prophesied to die before Cersei. In the show, she had a crush on Oberyn's surviving nephew but was killed by Elia in revenge for Oberyn's death, but alive in the books though missing an ear. Also, the readership all got on George's balls for maiming this girl, mostly because it was a sign that he had run out of ideas and was basically just milking Diabolus ex Machina ([[Just As Planned|or that's what he wants us to think]]).
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===House Baratheon===

''"Ours is the Fury"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Ascended to the Iron Throne after a successful rebellion against the Mad King Aerys II Targaryen. Produces no less than three claimants to the succession, each one very different from the other. Technically a cadet branch of House Targaryen as their founder Orys was allegedly a Targaryen bastard, who took the original Storm Kings (House Durrandon) deer sigil after killing the last one and fucking his only child Argella and then 200 odd years later, King Egg's daughter married their grandfather, they're pretty much the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Plantagenet House of Plantagenet].
* Robert Baratheon, ''The Usurper'': Fat, old, former badass who led the rebellion, and now the king who married Cersei Lannister. Then he fucked a bunch of other women and had lots of illegitimate kids. He was killed while mixing boar hunting and drinking, but whether this death was planned or not is uncertain. On the surface, a king with a thing for easy laughs and partying; right underneath the surface, he's irresponsible and leaves the actual ruling of a nation to his staff, deeper under the surface he's pretty much a sad, lonely old bro who would rather not have been king. Comparable to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_IV_of_England Henry IV], in that both were powerfully built military geniuses who overthrew the existing monarchy and later succumbed to an unhealthy lifestyle.
* Stannis '''The Mannis''' Baratheon: Robert's younger brother, an all-around badass who swings between [[Lawful Stupid]] (more so in the show than the books) and [[gets shit done|getting shit done]]. [[Judge Dredd|believes so strongly in the rule of law]] that he feels compelled to take the Iron Throne for himself despite wanting nothing to do with it. Is advised by a priestess of the God of light, Melisandre, and a lowborn smuggler named Davos Seaworth raised to knighthood and nobility. [[C.S Goto|His character is ruined in the show into an incompetent pawn of Melisandre and gets killed off just because one of the showrunners didn't like him]].
** Shireen Baratheon: Stannis's kid daughter. The sweet, charming, and intelligent little lady who was left with a deformity on her face from a disease called greyscale. Teaches Davos how to read, and is probably the most innocent person in the series alongside Tommen, Myrcella and a few others. Being the grim and dark universe A Song of Ice and Fire is, however, this means that she's likely going to end up becoming fuel for a vicious fire god. In the show she does, but in the books, she is safe and sound since Stannis isn't stupid enough to bring him with her while campaigning. His wife, on the other hand, being such an idiotic fanatical pyromaniac... well, her odds aren't exactly looking that great.
* Renly Baratheon, ''That Gay Guy'': Robert and Stannis's youngest brother. Took Loras Tyrell (a.k.a. Knight of Flowers, Pretty Boy, etc.) as his lover. Decided he was better suited to be king, though the bizarre and outdated laws of the land stated Stannis was next in line (though Joffrey and then Tommen were first since they were [[Pretend|officially]] Bobby B's legitimate kids). Was hugely popular since he had Robert's charisma, which led to him getting the most support, but he lacked Stannis's conviction and devotion to the duty of actually doing the work of a king, or even Robert's ability to wage war. Killed by Melisandre with some "help" by Stannis ''The Mannis'' for trying to steal his crown, though in the books Stannis may not have been completely aware of the role he played in Renly's death. He's basically [[That Guy]] of ASOIAF, since quite a lot of shit is his fault, indirectly or otherwise.
*Gendry Baratheon, the Bastard Son. One of Robert's many, many bastard children, and the one who gets the most page and screen time. He starts out as a humble blacksmith in King's Landing, who first comes to Ned's attention when Lord Stark is investigating the death of Jon Arryn. From there, he gets shipped off to the Night's Watch to avoid the imminent purge of Robert's bastards and winds up becoming friends with Arya and Hot Pie. After some adventuring and sexual tension with Arya (at least in the show), he joins the Brotherhood Without Banners. In the show, they sell him to Melisandre so she can use him for a blood magic ritual, while in the books he just goes on being a smith and doesn't get involved in anything particularly weird or shady. He's helping run an inn as a brotherhood front/orpganage when he reappears in the books, but in the show, Ser Davos sets him free and tells him to fuck off, which he does for a few seasons. He eventually turns up back in King's Landing, where Davos finds him and recruits him (and his comically oversized LARPing hammer) for Team Snow. He helps Jon capture a wight to show Cersei, makes dragonglass weapons for the Army of the Living, has sex with Arya, and fights in the Battle of Winterfell, after which Daenerys legitimizes him as the new lord of House Baratheon.</div></div>

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===House Tully===

''"Family, Duty, Honor"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> Lords of the central river lands. Being the obligatory central nation they spend a lot of the series being fought over like a cake in between fat kids. Basically Poland/Netherlands, given they have so many rivers and how hard they've been fucked over.
*Edmure Tully: Basically the SoIaF universe's eternal butt monkey (because he happens to be a decent fucking person). A useless ponce with a dense streak a mile wide and a bad habit of bragging about things he shouldn't be proud of. It took hanging in a stockade for a few months to make him experience some growth. When Jaime was brought in to unfuck the situation and end the siege at Tully's house in Riverrun, Jaime's "negotiation" pressured him into convincing his house to surrender, but he made sure [[Troll|that Brynden got out first]]. Currently spending his days at the Lannister house as a hostage to make sure that the Tullys don't try to ruin the situation again. Tries to make a case for himself as king in the final episode, only to get shut down by Sansa.
*Brynden Tully ''the Blackfish'': He didn't catch the memo that he was part of the joke faction, and proceeds to spend the entire series fucking Lannister shit up and generally being a boss. Thought to be the black sheep in a family of fish. (Thus "Blackfish", geddit?) Ended up holed up in Riverrun, and got the fuck out right before the end of the siege, so that the Lannisters couldn't dick him over as a prisoner (or so he can keep dicking them over before he became a prisoner). Also widely accepted by the fans to be a closeted homosexual. In the HBO show, he gets killed when resisting arrest from Tully forces by order of Edmure. [[Rage|And it happens offscreen.]]</div></div>

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===House Arryn===

''"As High as Honor"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Mountain lords turned [[NEET|neurotic shut ins]]. Goes through lords about as quickly as you would expect a castle equipped with a door that opens into empty air. Basically Switzerland/Afghanistan, seeing as how they stayed neutral in the War of Five Kings, their land is covered by nothing but mountains, and they're constantly fighting with the local tribes. They were being entertainingly screwed over by Littlefinger until his death.
*Jon Arryn: Only appears posthumously and is the catalyst for the whole plot. The true mastermind behind Robert's Rebellion was killed by Littlefinger via Lysa when he figured out that Robert's kids are bastards of Cersei and Jaime. His death was blamed on the Lannisters to destabilize Westeros.
*Lysa Arryn: Loli bride turned Lady of the Vale after the Lannisters forcibly retired her husband from life, at least officially. In reality, Littlefinger convinced her to poison her husband and blame the Lannisters [[Just As Planned|which pretty much started this whole clusterfuck to begin with]]. A closeted, crazy woman who spends the entire series in her castle "the Eyrie" being useless, breastfeeding her own son at age 10, obsessing over Littlefinger's cock, and [[Derp|refusing to help her sister and nephew in the war she and Littlefinger pretty much started]], which may have guaranteed their eventual horrific murders by their enemies. Finally gets her comeuppance when Littlefinger kicks her out the moon door (post-taunting, of course), putting her out of our collective misery. Long live the Lord Protector.
* Robert Arryn: ''Littlefuck'', Lysa's equally mentally unstable autistic son, who still sucks on his mom's tit, and enjoys seeing people "fly" out the moon door to their deaths. He actually seems to be a bit smarter than you would first think and is a really, really good judge of character, except with Sansa. Secretly being poisoned by Littlefinger and Sansa, so she can take over the Vale and North. Named Robin in the show because the showrunners were afraid that having two characters with the same name would be too confusing. The show version doesn't get poisoned but turns up in the series finale as the Lord of the Vale.</div></div>

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===House Greyjoy===

''"We Do Not Sow"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">[[Awesome|A house founded by Cthulhu-worshipping Norscans]]. While not actual Vikings in any sense of the word, there is little other way to describe them. They live on some islands and almost their entire culture is based around raiding and the ocean. Their religion holds it shameful for a man to pay for personal possessions, and states they have to get things either by trade or The Iron Price; seizing something from the body or belongings of someone he defeated in conquest rather than paying or trading for it. Also, only possessions acquired via The Iron Price command respect among the Ironborn.
*Balon Greyjoy: Asshole dad, crappy ruler and general shithead who rebelled against Robert Baratheon and failed miserably. All of his sons were killed, except for Theon, who was taken as a hostage to ensure his good behaviour. Despite being in a position to join either the Lannisters or the Starks during the War of Five Kings and thereby get whatever he wanted from either (independence and the North, or independence and Casterly Rock, respectively), he does the absolute stupidest thing possible and declares himself independent without support from anyone, attacking the North and the rest of Westeros, thereby virtually guaranteeing that he'll be on the receiving end of another one-sided battle. Never got that far, though, since he was pushed off a bridge during a storm by an assassin his brother Euron sent.
*Victarion Greyjoy: Admiral of the Iron Fleet. [[Gets shit done]] while wearing [[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Lokhir Fellheart's]] armour during boarding actions. Does it for vengeance, the lulz and as a ticket to Ironborn heaven (which they believe men can reach if they die in battle or by drowning). Worships both R'hllor and the Drowned God. For all his badassery, is far too stupid to realize that his black Red Priest sidekick's constant rambling about his "great destiny" is inevitably going to end in his burning to death on a sacrificial pyre. Said Red Priest impressed Victarion by surviving being marooned at sea for 3 weeks and turning Victarion's infected arm into a super-strong volcano arm. Seriously.
*Aeron Greyjoy ''Damphair'': A priestly Alan Moore who drank seawater. Once a fun-loving party animal, he nearly drowned during the Greyjoy Rebellion and became a dour and devout priest of the Ironborn [[Cthulhu]] religion. Confirmed to have been raped by Euron when they were kids. Planned to overthrow Euron, who bribed and manipulated his way into becoming king of the Ironborn. [[Grimdark|Was captured by Euron and tortured to try and make him renounce his faith, including feeding him spoiled food, drugging him and burning him. Later Euron tied Aeron, naked, to the prow of Euron's ship alongside Euron's tortured, pregnant former lover because she showed Aeron kindness by once giving him proper food]]. He tried to console her by saying their suffering will end in underwater Valhalla, [[Awesome|showing Euron failed to make him deny his faith]].
*Theon Greyjoy: Son of the Lord/King of the Iron Islands. Had the personality of a stereotypical high school jock, being an excellent archer and womanizer and proud of it. He was given to Ned Stark by his father after Balon failed to successfully rebel against Robert Baratheon. Swore an oath to Robb, but then ditched him out of a desperate need to please his father. Ends up castrated and acts as the personal slave of Ramsay Bolton after Ramsay puts him through horrific torture to turn him into Reek. Rescued by his sister, but the psychological trauma meant it took a while before he could stop calling himself Reek and start getting back to normal mentally (physically he's now missing a few parts that don't heal or grow back). Dead in the show, thanks to charging the Night King by himself while protecting Bran.
* Asha Greyjoy: Theon's older sister and a commander of some renown which is quite a feat - almost every man on the Iron Islands except her father either tried to get in her pants or told her to [[-4 STR|stop playing around and go do some actual women's work]], before she kicked enough ass that they respected her. Rescues Theon after he escapes Ramsay but then loses him to Stannis. Is named Yara in the show because the showrunners thought her name sounded too similar to Osha the wildling chick and is also apparently [[PROMOTIONS|bisexual]]. Eventually becomes Lady of the Iron Islands in the show because she's the last Greyjoy standing.
*Euron Greyjoy ''Crow's Eye'': A [[Chaos|sick fuck Lovecraftian pirate armed with unnatural sorcerous powers, so evil]] that Balon banished him from the Iron Islands. Every member of his crew is a mute because Euron ripped all their tongues out. Many of them are also the illegitimate sons of women he's raped around the world during his raids. Uses an eyepatch to conceal a pitch-black eye, his personal "obviously a villain" mark. Raped his brother Victarion's wife, then claimed she wanted it so Victarion had to kill her. Raped his younger brother Aeron. Also showed back up in the Iron Islands the day after Balon died, despite having been raping and pillaging in Essos before that, which is suspicious as fuck. Now the new Iron King. Plans to conquer Westeros and has some unknown plan to deal with Daenerys. Revealed in the book ''Winds of Winter'' to be [[Honsou|the sickest fuck in an entire setting of sick fucks (and that's saying something)]], including having a god complex while hating religion so much he [[Grimdark|tortures any clergymen he captures to try and make them give up their faiths using ironic tortures themed around their religions - such as preachers have their tongues cut out and burning priests of the fire god to death]]. Euron tried and failed to break his priest brother Aeron's faith so he lashed Aeron to the front of his ship to die [[Grimdark|alongside Euron's own pregnant lover Falia]]. In the show he's just a psycho pirate turned king without any magic powers or gear who wants to bang Cersei and Jaime kills him in the second-to-last episode. </div></div>

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===House Tyrell===

''"Growing Strong"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Lords of Highgarden and backstabbers par-excellence and owners of a lot of fertile land. Unlike the current lot of Lannisters they understand the value of good PR, balancing ruthlessness with being somewhat amicable, political savvy and not being stuck-up on honour. They're basically France. [[Fail|Unfortunately, they've all been wiped out in the show]].
*Mace "The Ace" Tyrell: Lord of Highgarden. Massively fat and overweight, while being stupid, overreaching and constantly mocked by everyone else, he's otherwise known as a friendly man, a good Lord when it comes to management and a good father; unfortunately, this isn't enough to save a man in the Game of Thrones. Gets killed with the rest of the noble houses when Cersei blows up the Great Sept of Baelor.
*Olenna Tyrell: The brains behind House Tyrell's schemes. Known as the ''Queen of Thorns'' for being an outspoken, prickly and venomous old lady. Schemed with Littlefinger to have Joffrey killed, but she carried it out with compressed powder "gems" that poisoned his wine. Now she keeps her family in line and is hailed as a more progressive version of Tywin. Became a fan favourite for constantly dropping awesome one-liners and telling the Sand Snakes to shut up. [[Fail|Later killed off in the show]], but not before revealing to Jaime that [[Awesome|she was the one who killed Joffrey and asking him to make sure Cersei knows it]].
*Willas Tyrell: Mace Tyrell's eldest son and heir, crippled at a very young age when jousting against Oberyn Martell. Probably one of the most pleasant and sensible characters in the series, which might explain why he's yet to make an appearance. Very fond of breeding animals, especially horses.
*Garlan Tyrell ''The Gallant'': Second-born son. Badass extraordinaire considered one of the best swords in Westeros, and one of the few people kind to Tyrion. Trains for real combat (often against multiple opponents by himself) unlike Loras, who's a tourney fighter. Single-handed wrecks many notable knights fighting for Stannis during the War of The Five Kings. And he is the only person other than Tywin to put Joffrey in his place, at his own wedding. Sadly no POV chapter yet and omitted from the TV series (Loras takes credit for his deeds).
*Loras Tyrell ''The Knight of Flowers'': The Tyrell who appears most in the series. Considered to be an example of the perfect knight, despite his youth. Is secretly Renly's gay lover and conspired to take the throne with him and his sister. Last seen badly injured in the books attempting to take Stannis' castle. In the show he ends up tortured by the members of the Faith for being gay [[C.S Goto|because the showrunners retconned them to hate gay people]], [[Protectorate of Menoth|later joins their ranks of questionable willingness]] then dies when Cersei blows up the Sept of Baelor.
*Margaery Tyrell: The would-be Queen of Westeros, she has married, in order, Renly Baratheon (gay), Joffrey Baratheon (evil), and Tommen Baratheon (8 years old) and has been crowned as queen three times. While she is nice, she is capable of manipulation. In the show, she marries and uses sex to control Tommen. Was arrested by the resident Chamber Militant The Sparrow and asked for a trial by faith in the books. In the show, this also happens but she tries to be pious in an attempt to save herself but ended up getting killed when Cersei blew up the Sept of Baelor.
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===House Bolton===

''"Our Blades Are Sharp"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The Starks' most important (and most despised) vassal, a former arch-rival made of [[Grimdark]] because their entire theme [[Dark Eldar|revolves around Torture]]. Their sigil is a flayed man and their castle is [[Commorragh|a complex of eternal suffering called the Dreadfort]], which shows how stupid the Starks were for allying with them.
*Roose Bolton, ''The 'Leech Lord'': A Lawful Evil sociopathic health nut who's called the Leech Lord because he gets leeched regularly, believing they get rid of bad blood. Second-most powerful Lord in the North with ambitions to depose the Starks. Since the Starks are unable to think like crafty people and are blinded by honour this doesn't prove too difficult. He gets his wish when he stabs Robb Stark in the back, at his uncle's wedding no less, and has anyone associated with Robb killed. He then makes over Winterfell in his bloody image and is currently trolling Stannis. Believes in the abolished practice of "[[Rape|Droit du seigneur]]" (a tradition that allowed a lord to have sex with subordinate women, whether they wanted to or not) and killed at least one man for trying to hide his wife from Roose (before fathering Ramsay with her via rape). Believed that he and his son could be as evil as they wanted as long as no one found out. Killed by Ramsey in the show, which Ramsay tried to cover with a lie despite the witnesses to his actions.
*Ramsay Snow/Bolton: The bastard son of Roose Bolton and a peasant woman he raped [[Grimdark|(under the hanging corpse of the woman's husband, for fuck's sake!)]]. One of the most fucked up people in all of the Seven Kingdoms (alongside the original Reek, the paedophile marauder Rorge and Euron), because he [[Dark Eldar|loves to torture and kill people openly for the lulz]], such as Theon Greyjoy, who he crippled, knocked his teeth out, castrated, and brainwashed into calling himself Reek; Reek was originally a peasant appointed to try and control a young Ramsay, but instead Ramsay warped him into a mentally unstable necrophiliac before killing Reek to fake his death, but Ramsay seemed to hold some twisted affection for him. He also sent Theon's severed appendage to Theon's dad in a cutesy box with a letter mockingly detailing his evilness. Will torture anyone who points out his illegitimate heritage though now he's legally recognized as a Bolton. Also has a pack of hunting dogs he names after women he hunts, rapes and kills. Married a fake Arya Stark and regularly mistreats her, including forced bestiality. Not a fun guy to be around. The only reason he's gotten away with it for so long (as pointed out by his father) is that no one is strong enough to stand up to him yet, but [[Powder Keg of Justice|when they are]] he's going to be killed. In the show, he killed his father with a knife, fed his stepmother and newborn half-brother to his dogs, then married Sansa Stark and deflowered her via rape. Ramsay was such a monster even Iwan Rheon, THE ACTOR WHO PLAYED THE GUY, hoped he'd die horribly. He got his wish: The consequences of Ramsay's actions catch up with him when Jon Snow shows up with an army capable of threatening him, and after surprise reinforcements from Littlefinger and his own fucked-up teamkilling, the Starks crush the Bolton army, forcing Ramsay to flee back to Winterfell. Despite this, the gate is smashed down, he is disarmed, beaten rather brutally and detained to await trial. Before the trial Sansa sets his dogs on him, which he had deliberately starved so they would eat Jon. Apparently they found him quite tasty.
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===House Martell===

''"Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Desert dwelling survivalists who pride themselves on having never been conquered by the Targaryen dynasty (though they later married in). Moorish Spaniards, kinda. [[C.S Goto|Their story arc was completely FUBAR in the show, as Elia and Oberyn's daughters kill Oberyn's brother and nephew for taking too long to avenge him before being captured and killed themselves by Euron and Cersei]].
*Doran Martell: Lord of Sunspear and of royal descent. Still mad at the Lannisters about that whole "murdered-my-sister-and-infant-niece thing". Playing the longest of long games with Varys while trying to keep the rest of his psychotic family members in check. Wheelchair-bound due to his gout. [[What|Killed off in the show by Ellaria as part of her plan to avenge Oberyn]].
*Arianne Martell: One of GRRM's characters who seems to exists solely to fuck everything up at the worst conceivable moment. Still hot as Dornish girls come. Exists only in the books, where she is currently helping her dad get ready to topple the Lannisters after fucking everything up with her own stupid plan to crown Myrcella, which is what got the poor girl maimed.
*Oberyn Martell ''The Viper of Dorne'': Doran Martell's brother, a bisexual swinger, former mercenary, and a drunkard. His girlfriend is a spectacularly beautiful bastard named Ellaria Sand and he has many illegitimate children, mostly daughters, collectively called "The Sand Snakes". Crippled the Tyrell heir in a fight, causing a rift between the two houses; despite this, he's actually best mates with the aforementioned heir, due to Willas Tyrell being straight up the nicest and most balanced man in the series and Oberyn being a somewhat decent person. Known for poisoning his weapons, as well as his battle-cry. Died from a mutual kill, with Gregor Clegane crushing his skull in rather graphically, avenging his sister Elia who Gregor had raped and murdered. Though it's probably a win for Oberyn, since he got Clegane with a horribly painful and slow-acting venom which stretched his death over days or even weeks, during which time he was ruthlessly experimented upon by a mad scientist.
*Quentyn Martell: Didn't realize he was in Dark Low Fantasy and thought he was in High Fantasy, poor bastard. A member of House Martell, sent to marry Daenerys to secure an alliance between the families since the original marriage plan to hook Arianne up with Viserys won't work with Viserys dead. Leaves Westeros and goes all the way to the city of Meereen to marry her, but he's too late, as she marries the Meereenese noble Hizdahr, and like Jorah he's not her type (Dany likes her bad boys). Tries to tame two of her dragons to impress her; the attempt goes wrong, he gets horribly burnt and gradually dies in agony from his wounds.
*The Sand Snakes: Oberyn's children. All daughters he had with various women throughout his travels (all consensual encounters, mind you). Mixed race and all hot with various skills including combat training and mastery of poisons. Working with Doran and Ellaria in the books. [[C.S Goto|Ruined in the show where they don't accomplish anything, are given atrocious dialogue (the "you need the bad pussy" line comes to mind), aren't great fighters]] and get killed by Euron's men, except for one who gets captured and poisoned by Cersei so an imprisoned Ellaria is forced to watch her die and decompose.</div></div>

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===House Frey===

''"We Stand Together"''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> House of weasels who are always grumpy and have a thing for overreacting to perceived slights. Wouldn't be that important except for the fact that they own the only bridge over a strategically important river, and regularly extort anyone attempting to cross it.

*Walder Frey: The ancient, terrible, ornery old man in charge of the Twins. Hates everyone for "looking down on him", and will readily betray an important ally for immediate gain, or if he feels he has been slighted in some minor way. His descendants are literally so numerous that no one except GRRM himself has been able to count them all, so we aren't even going to attempt it. Now dead in the show due to getting his throat slit by a vengeful Arya after she serves him two of his sons as meat pies. </div></div>

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'''Night's Watch'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The Night's Watch are an apolitical force in charge of manning The Wall, a giant ice wall that separates the relative tranquillity of the south from the Lovecraftian fucked-up-itude of the true north. They are chronically undermanned and undersupplied since nobody believes their stories of a barbarian army or the impending zombie apocalypse. Basically everybody else thinks they're in a game of [[Diplomacy]] and the Night's Watch are the only ones who realize they're actually in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]], though it's been so long since the last snow elf invasion that even they had forgotten about the undead hordes and focused too much on barbarians. They've allied with the Wildings and the North, but in the TV show, the Night's King used the undead dragon Viserion to burn a hole through The Wall.
*Jeor Mormont, ''The Old Bear'': 997th Lord Commander of the Night's Watch at the start of the series. Sees Jon Snow as something of a second son (since his own son Jorah was exiled for enslaving and refused to take the black for his crimes). Leads a ranging north of the Wall to investigate reports that the Others have returned. Ends up killed during a mutiny of survivors after the Others wiped out most of his force.
*Alliser Thorne: Prick of a knight who was favourite to be the next Watch Commander, but was passed over by Jon Snow. Unable to accept Jon Snow letting the Wildlings live on the other side of the wall in an alliance against the zombie hordes, he staged a coup against Jon. It failed because Jon was brought back to life. He is now dead in the show, having been executed for his treason by Jon Snow.
*Aemon Targaryen: Maester of the Citadel at Castle Black. Despite being the third born son of King Maekar I Targaryen, he declined the right to sit on the Iron Throne. One of the few people in the series to die of old age, at 102.
*Samwell Tarly, ''The Slayer'': Fat bookworm who was forced to take the black after his father Randyl threatened to murder him for being unmanly. Jon Snow's best friend among the Night's Watch, and knows everything because he "read it in a book". Despite being a self-professed coward, Sam became the first person in thousands of years to slay an Other with an obsidian dagger. George Martin himself said Sam's based on Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings. Since then, he has started improving his combat skills and balls (in more ways than one for the latter, finding his spine and losing his virginity). He abandons the Night's Watch to help fight the dead and tell Jon who he really is, and winds up becoming the new Grand Maester by the end of the show.
*Eddison Tollett, ''Dolorous Edd'': Probably the most badass member of the Night's Watch. Responds to situations by making sarcastic jokes about them, and known for being a grim motherfucker in a setting of grim motherfuckers. In the show he [[Awesome|became the new Lord Commander]] while Jon was dead, but gave the title back to Jon when he was brought back to life, and then Jon handed it right back because he needed to go sort out Ramsay Bolton. Dies in Season 8 at the Battle of Winterfell. </div></div>

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'''Wildlings'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Groups of nomadic hunter-gatherer tribes who live north of the Wall. Mostly First Men by blood, they have been heading toward the Wall for the past decade with the reputed reemergence of the Others. Nomadic, aggressive, and very much believing in "might makes right", they do not get along with anyone south of The Wall since they view them as "Kneeling weaklings". Basically every Celtic/Scandinavian/barbarian stereotype combined.
*Mance Rayder, ''The King Beyond The Wall'': A Wildling orphan who was taken in by the Night's Watch, he became their best Ranger before he deserted to join his people. He united the Wildlings and lead them south to escape the Others. Also a trained bard, but that was not enough to save him from death.
*Tormund Giantsbane: Claims to have a ten-inch penis, and invites his enemies to use their mouths if they want to clean it. Cool as fuck old guy who [[Furry|fucks mother-bears]] in his free time. Tough as nails motherfucker who preaches the merits of using one's cock for everything. He teams up with Jon Snow for the fight against the White Walkers, then fucks off back to the north once the Night King is dead, making him one of the most sensible people on the show. He and Jon go off to be bros at the end of the show.
*Ygritte: Wildling woman who Jon Snow ends up falling for and who returns his affections. Has red hair which is considered lucky among the Wildlings. This being ''A Song of Ice and Fire'', she ends up dying because her worldview is not compatible with Jon's.
*Craster: A sick bastard, formerly a member of the Night's Watch. [[Grimdark|Has lots of daughters who he marries and fucks regularly, giving him more children. So his wives are his daughters, granddaughters and so on... Girls grow up to become more wives, boys get sacrificed to the Others]]. This keeps them at bay, and that sanctuary is why the Night Watch barely tolerates him. Fortunately, he's been killed off in the story.
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'''Commoners, Knights, and Petty Lords'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Basically any character not associated with any of the Great Houses.
* Varys, ''The Spider'': The eunuch spymaster of Westeros. You can't take a shit in the Seven Kingdoms without Varys finding out where, when, and how watery or dry it was. He does this through paid informants and his "little birds", a spy network of children who sneak through the castle's passageways and air flues to eavesdrop on everyone. Stabs everyone in the back because he's actually trying to bring the Targaryens back in order to strengthen the realm. Dead in the show, having decided to try and put Jon on the throne instead of Daenerys; Jon says no, Tyrion sells him out when he realizes Jon absolutely means it, and Dany has Drogon barbecue him.
* Petyr Baelish, ''Littlefinger'': The Master of Coin (the ASOIAF equivalent of a treasurer) and the closest person the Game of Thrones world has to a [[Daemon Prince]] of [[Tzeentch]], up to even declaring "[[Chaos]] is a Ladder". A dangerous manipulator who manages to trick and steal his way to positions of lordship and wealth because no one takes him seriously, and stabs all the Lannisters in the back when they become inconvenient. As a child, he wanted Catelyn Stark and was tricked into thinking she wanted him when her sister Lysa fucked him while he was drunk. Challenged Catelyn's betrothed Brandon Stark, Ned's older brother who was murdered by Aerys, for her hand in marriage and got his ass kicked because he was a small skinny boy and Brandon Stark was a big strapping man, making that his start of darkness. The guy responsible, directly or indirectly, for the War of the Five Kings because he was the mastermind behind poisoning Jon Arryn, the capture and execution of Ned Stark, feeding several half-truths to Catelyn to motivate her to arrest Tyrion, and eventually Joffrey's death by having Dontos and Olenna Tyrell carry out the plan to kill Joffrey and letting Tyrion take the fall; but no one in the story knows this, not even Varys. People think he can pull gold out of thin air, but he's really been buying debt while letting Robert Baratheon's extravagances and Joffrey and Cersei's dipshittery pull the country into a serious debt of its own. So he's pledged himself to [[Chaos]] and destroying Westeros all because he couldn't have Catelyn as his girlfriend, though he changed his focus to her daughter Sansa now, making him a paedophile. Hasn't yet got his comeuppance in the books, but is currently dead in the show after he was out-gambitted by Sansa and killed by Arya. According to GRRM, he's based on the title character from the Great Gatsby.
*Gregor Clegane, ''The Mountain'': A 7' 8" 400 pound mass of [[Khorne|testosterone, muscles, steroid overdose and murderous RAGE]], Gregor is Tywin Lannister's top muscle. Killed his own father and sister and permanently scarred his brother. Hobbies include rape, arson, murder, and random torture; he's also been married a few times but not now with the implication he kept killing his wives. He played an important part in destroying the Targaryens by killing a couple of Rhaegar's kids in rather brutal fashion, then raping and murdering his wife. Spends a few novels doing Tywin's dirty work before a Trial by Champion leads to him dying after being poisoned by Oberyn Martell. Qyburn later resurrected him as... something... called "Ser Robert Strong", and is now even stronger, less prone to psychotic rages, and is completely obedient. He's based on accounts of French knight Gilles de Rais and maybe also the scriptural giant Goliath. Tortures Cersei's nun jailer to death in a brutal and unspecified fashion kills Qyburn during the Siege of King's Landing and then nearly kills his little brother, only for Sandor to tackle him through a collapsing wall and into a gigantic inferno that claims both.
* Sandor Clegane, ''The Hound'': Younger brother to Gregor Clegane, called the Hound because of his hound-face helm, his family's heraldry, and being the king's hired muscle without being a knight. He hates knights due to the hypocrisy of being a professional "noble warrior" but mostly since his monstrous brother is a knight, showing it's not so much of a noble promotion. Terrified of fire after Gregor put his head against a brazier for playing with one of Gregor's old toys when they were children, burning half his face, but he's still the second-strongest person in Westeros. A brutal anti-hero with a soft spot for Sansa, but a better person than his brother. After falling sick from Biter's nasty teeth, he ends up being a silent monk burying people in the Silent Isles. In the show, he joins the Brotherhood without Banners and goes north to help fuck up the White Walkers. As of Season 8, he's survived the Battle of Winterfell and is riding south with Arya to put the boots to Gregor. Dies killing his now undead brother in a pretty epic fight amidst the crumbling ruins of the Red Keep.
*Grand Maester Pycelle: A shrewd, dangerous man putting on a "harmless old man act" and a high ranking scholar from the science/medical guild the Maesters. The longest-serving member of the King's advisory staff, and is actually Tywin Lannister's biggest lackey. He convinced the Mad King to let Tywin in as Baratheon's armies were marching on the capital, where Tywin proceeded to sack the city and claim it for Robert. Gets his head bashed in by Varys in the books and murdered by Qyburn in the show.
* Qyburn: Formerly a maester, who was kicked out of the order for unethical experiments on the living (taking people and performing vivisections to be precise). Introduced as a part of a mercenary company serving Roose Bolton, which should be a red flag. He moves up in the world when he's sent to escort Brienne and Jaime back to King's Landing and ends with Cersei employing him to replace Pycelle as "science advisor" and eventually Varys's Spymaster. Serves Cersei loyally as long as she lets him indulge his sick experiments, serving as a black magic variety of the court mage. He has resurrected Gregor Clegane as... something. [[Fabius Bile]] if he traded his robot limbs, eugenics and power armour for necromancy. He overestimated his hold on Gregor and got his head caved in for it as of the second-to-last episode of the show.
*Barristan Selmy, ''The Bold'': Knight of the Kingsguard. Which Kingsguard? Take your pick. He's served pretty much every king since Aerys and understandably feels pretty bad about it. Another sad old man who pretty much just wants to die until he decides to go pledge his services to Daenerys. Even in his old age, he is considered one of the most dangerous men in Westeros. [[Fail|Dead in the show]] (to be fair they gave him a huge last stand), but [[Awesome|alive]] and [[Roboute Guilliman|appointed himself Daenerys' steward in her absence to try and fix Meereen's situation in the books]].
*Melisandre, ''The Red Witch'': A priestess of R'hllor, the god of fire. Proclaimed Stannis to be the messiah-king and is doing everything in her power to make sure he wins (considerable given that she can scry, make shadow baby assassins and set things on fire with her mind). She'd be pretty bro-tier if her god wasn't so vicious. As it stands she's kind of in the grey (in the books, the show seems to zig-zag on her being evil 'cos the showrunners seem to hate religion). Most of the people she set on fire deserved it, and she hasn't ''succeeded'' in killing any babies yet. Show version now dead from suicide via rapid ageing after ensuring the Living defeat the Dead.
*Jorah Mormont: A knight and son of Jeor Mormont, exiled for trying to sell poachers into slavery and eventually joining the exiles of House Targaryen. He is offered a pardon in exchange for spying on the Targaryens but ultimately decides to stay with them after falling in love with Daenerys. Unfortunately, he gets friend-zoned hard. Despite saving her life from an assassin while she was pregnant, she still votes him off the Khalassar after learning he was a spy. He still loves her and follows her in secret, though. In the show, he goes on a quest to prove himself to her and contracts the dangerous disease Greyscale (it's like the unholy lovechild of smallpox and leprosy), but he gets cured and is now back at her side. He dies protecting her at the Battle of Winterfell.
*Davos Seaworth, ''The Onion Knight'': A former smuggler and bannerman to House Baratheon. During Roberts Rebellion he ran a blockade with a cargo of contraband onions to a castle Stannis Baratheon was besieged in. In exchange for the food he had, Stannis knighted Davos, but Stannis's law-worshipping mindset compelled him to remove four digits from his left hand. Despite this, Davos has served Stannis with unquestioning loyalty, because Stannis knighting him gave his children a future. The fact that Stannis's war for the throne has ended up killing several of his sons hasn't dented his loyalty at all. Doesn't like Melisandre because he sees her as a user and her beliefs as brutal. He's a devout follower of the Faith of the Seven in the books and the first season of the show [[C.S Goto|but is clumsily retconned into an anti-religious atheist in later show seasons]]. In the show, he's now pledged to DA NORF and is basically Jon's Hand of the King, except he doesn't get a fancy pin. He survives the Battle of Winterfell and the Second Sack of King's Landing and becomes Master of Ships in the final episode of the show.
*Shae: A former camp follower and Tyrion Lannister's squeeze for most of the story. Fled from an abusive family and became a camp follower to earn a living. Seems to fall in love with Tyrion, but it turns out she's a gold-digging bitch. When Tyrion doesn't marry Shae she sells him out to Cersei for a better offer, then fucks Tywin when she realizes Cersei won't keep her promise. Tyrion found her in his father's bed and strangled her to death with a necklace for betraying him. The discovery of Shae's corpse in Tywin's bed - posthumously outing him as a whoremonger - upsets Cersei to the point she unpersons Shae.
*Bronn: A mercenary who acts as Tyrion's enforcer and personal killer until Cersei outbids him and he settles down with a little wife and title. Routinely kills knights by exploiting how arrogant and stupid they are even after becoming one himself. Only in it for the money, which he'll happily tell you himself. The only character other than Littlefinger to end every book in a better position than he started it. In the show, he makes the very sensible decision to sit out the fighting and wait for his promised castle (Riverrun if Cersei wins, Highgarden if Daenerys wins). He gets Highgarden and is named Lord Paramount of the Reach and Master of Coin in the final episode.
* Brienne of Tarth, ''The Beauty'': Surprisingly badass lady knight wannabe (since no women can be knighted), legendarily unattractive but still pretty idealistic despite the shit she gets for her looks. Fate frequently gives her the shit end of the stick, because no matter how hard she tries to finish her quests, she ends up failing or stuff happens that makes it impossible. Secretly crushes on Renly and unaware he's gay. After he dies, Brienne switches her loyalty to Catelyn and helps her bring Jaime to King's Landing as Tyrion promised Sansa's return in exchange for Jaime. She later developed a crush on Jaime. Things don't go well because Jaime lost his hand and the Red Wedding happened. Next, Jaime sends her out to find and keep Sansa safe to make good on Tyrion's promise, since he isn't the complete dick everyone thinks he is. Brienne ends up getting captured by Cat, now known as Lady Stoneheart and an insane undead, who was going to hang Brienne for working with Jaime. Brienne was spared at the last moment to capture/manipulate Jaime. In the show, she's now sworn to House Stark and gets knighted by Jaime just before the Battle of Winterfell and then she and Jaime hook up afterwards, only for him to take off and break her heart. She is now Lady Commander of the Kingsguard as of the final episode.
* Lyanna Mormont: A badass ten-year-old girl who inherits Bear Island after her mother and older sister die horribly in the Riverlands - at least if we are going by the show; in the book, her mother is still alive somewhere in the Neck and her older sister Alysanne is the de-facto head of House Mormont. Her activities include pimp-slapping bitches, leading men twice as old as her, and being completely loyal to the Starks despite all their misfortunes. [[Awesome|"Bear Island knows no king but the King in the North, whose name is STARK."]] She dies killing an undead giant at the Battle of Winterfell, which is pretty badass.
* Wyman Manderly, ''Lord Too-Fat-To-Sit-A-Horse'': The Lord of White Harbour and one of the few Northerners who worship the Seven. Fervently loyal to House Stark, he pays lip-service to the Iron Throne long enough for his eldest son to return home, all to mask a plan to restore the Starks to power, mostly by destabilising the Frey-Bolton alliance, building a navy, marshalling the forces of the lands east of the White Knife river, "losing" Freys in the wilderness and sending Lord Davos Seaworth to rescue Rickon Stark from Skagos. His favourite food is lamprey, although he has also developed a taste for Frey Pie. Also a remarkably graceful dancer, and can survive taking a knife to the throat.
** Wylla Manderly: Granddaughter to the above. Another badass little girl, her activities include openly declaring undying loyalty to House Stark and dying her hair green. She and Lyanna Mormont would probably be best friends if they met. [[Awesome|"The city is built upon the land [the Starks] gave us. In return, we swore that we should always be their men. Stark men!"]]
* Jon Umber, ''The Greatjon'': At first he seems to be your stereotypical, boisterous Northern Lord. However, he becomes one of Robb's most loyal supporters, being first to declare him as 'King in the North' after Ned's execution. Had his moment of awesome [[Awesome|when he killed and wounded four Freys at the Red Wedding, all the while being drunk and needing eight additional men to take him down.]]
* Beric Dondarrion, ''The Lightning Lord'': Minor lord who agreed to head an expedition to take out Gregor Clegane. This being Game of Thrones, however, his party is ambushed by the Mountain and is beaten rather badly, and he loses his life in the process. Thanks to his drunken Red Priest friend, however, he manages to come back not once, but eight times, and each time he comes back, he becomes more powerful, though at the cost of his memory. He now heads an outlaw faction of grimdark Robin Hood types called "The Brotherhood Without Banners", who are dedicated to punishing those who abuse and mistreat the smallfolk. Ironically, he's one of the few book characters to have died (permanently) in the books but remain alive in the show, except now he's dead for real as of the Battle of Winterfell.
* Thoros of Myr: Aforementioned drunken priest who is dedicated to R'hllor, though at first he doesn't really give a rat's ass about the Red God, as he prefers to party it up with wine and women, but after he 'accidentally' resurrects Beric, he becomes quite serious about his religion and vows to curb his excesses in drinking. Dies on a mission beyond the Wall to capture a wight (show-version).
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'''The Free Cities'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Nine city-states to the West of Westeros, for the most part, the old colonies of the Valaryian Freehold. Mostly they are ruled by Merchant Princes. They look down on the Westerosi for being a bunch of up jumped backwards war-mongering morons who are only a few silverware sets and maesters away from absolute barbarism. In turn, the Westerosi look down on the Free Cities as being money-grubbing effete cowards ruled by cheesemongers who use bribery, tall walls and dirty tricks to get ahead in the world.

* Illyrio Mopatis: A rich fat bastard and a Magister of Pentos. Old buddies with Varys and a bigtime schemer.
* [[Officio Assassinorum|The Faceless Men]]: A cult of shape-shifting assassins who worship The Many-Faced God of death based in the free city of Braavos that give up personal identity. They claim descent from escaped Valyrian slaves who considered death to be a better fate than perpetual slavery. Their mission hence became being servants of the Many-Faced God of Death. You can hire them to off your rivals, but they request a steep and equivalent price. Their motto is "Valar Morghulis": All Men Must Die.
* Xaro Xhoan Daxos: One of the thirteen leaders of the city of Qarth. A flamboyant, languid, bald rich man who looks after Daenerys while she stays in Qarth and gives her many gifts. He wants her dragons as much as anyone else and even tries to marry her despite his homosexual tendencies. He stops wanting the dragons later in the book series after seeing [[RIP AND TEAR|their work in Astapor]], and no longer wants her around as her anti-slavery stance is hampering his wealth, so he offers Daenerys ships to leave the area and declares war on her when she refuses. In the show, he's heterosexual, helps steal her dragons, fucks one of her handmaidens and gets locked in a vault for conspiring to have her killed. He's also black and fat in the show when he's white and lanky in the books, being Qartheen and all.
* Syrio Forel: The former First Sword of Braavos (aka the ruler's personal bodyguard) and later Arya's mentor in King's Landing. He teaches her the way of Braavosi fencing, called "Water Dancing", and sacrifices himself to save her from Lannister thugs, taking down at least six of them with a wooden sword. May have inadvertently set her on the path of becoming a badass assassin by telling her of his belief in the God of Death.

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'''The Dothraki'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Horse people who live in a country of endless grass plains referred to by others as the Dothraki sea. They only have one city, called Vaes Dothrak, which is less of a city and more of a place they all meet when important things have to be discussed. Have traits borrowed from several cultures, including Mongols and Native Americans, all filtered through European misconceptions of those cultures of course, such as the Dothraki's antipathy for heavy armour, despite the fact that the Mongols were very heavily armoured and also excelled as infantry, see the Battle of Leignitz. They fear the ocean because of its size and the fact that horses won't drink from it, calling it the "poison water".

* Khal Drogo: An Expy of <s>Genghis Khan</s> Yesukhei Baatyr (his son would have been the equivalent to Chinggis Khaan). Leads the largest Khalassar among the Dothraki. Despite being a barbarian warlord, Drogo is surprisingly intelligent and treats Daenerys well. After an assassin tries to kill her he promises to conquer Westeros for her and their unborn son and immediately starts raiding towns for slaves and ships. At one town he gets cut in a leadership challenge and Daenerys gets a captive wise woman to heal him. However, the woman hates him because his tribe destroyed her hometown, raped/slaughtered or enslaved her friends and raped her three times so she curses him to become catatonic (along with killing his unborn son), leading a devastated Daenerys to perform an arguable mercy kill by smothering him with a pillow. After she burns herself, her stillborn child and the wise woman on his funeral pyre, Daenerys survives and it brings her dragons to life. GRRM named Drogo after [[The Lord of the Rings|Frodo's father]].
* Daenerys' handmaidens.
** Doreah: Daenerys' handmaiden and a wedding gift from Illyrio. A woman from Lysene brought by her brother to teach her how to pleasure a man. In the book she dies of fever and starvation crossing a desert, in the TV show, she betrays Daenerys for [[Salamanders|Xaro's BBC]] and gets locked in a vault to starve to death.
** Irri: Daenerys' handmaiden who teaches Daenerys how to ride a horse. [[PROMOTIONS|Also pleasures Daenerys twice after catching her masturbating once]], yet this canonical girl-on-girl action was left out of the show. The character was even killed off there when she survived in the books, but in this case, it was because her actress' visa had expired rather than [[C.S. Goto|author railroading]].
** Jhiqui: Daenerys' handmaiden who teaches her the Dothraki language and squabbles with Irri over wanting one of Daenerys' bodyguards when he becomes a badass. Also dies in the TV show while staying alive so far in the books.

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'''Slavers Bay'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">A civilization of [[Stupid Evil]] slavers. The remains of a previous civilization that was once the big powerful empire thanks to having phalanxes of obedient, pain-resistant soldiers which Valyria conquered a long while ago because phalanxes don't do too well against motherfucking dragons. They are ruled by wealthy slave mongers who buy slaves, train them up to do specific things and generally are a bunch of stuck up, decadent, puppy-eating (literally) assholes. Basically a civilization so repugnant even most hippies will be cheering when Dany decides to conquer them.

* The Unsullied: Eunuch phalanx fighting slave soldiers trained the Spartan way to produce totally obedient infantry that never break ranks. They also don't feel pain due to drinking a special drink daily, and each one has to take a new name from the name box each day so they can't develop a sense of identity. At least until Dany "bought" the lot of them, had them sack the city which trained them, and freed them.
* Grey Worm: The Unsullied Commander and a no-nonsense badass. When given a chance to take a new name he keeps his slave name because it's the name he had when freed so he considers it lucky. He is completely loyal to Daenerys, considering her his saviour, and in the show, he falls in love with fellow freed-woman, Missandei. This being ASOIAF, however, he can only watch helplessly as his lover is beheaded in front of him by the Mountain. This drives him into a rage, and he eagerly takes part in the sacking of King's Landing in revenge for her death. After the war is over and both Daenerys and Cersei are dead, he takes the Unsullied forces to Naath, in order to fulfil his promise to Missandei that he'd protect her homeland.
* Strong Belwas: A fat but skilled eunuch gladiator. Loves liver and onions and referring to himself in the third person. Travelling companion/guide of Ser Barristan. Has an awesome scene where he beats the champion of Meereen then mocks the Meereenese by taking a shit in their direction and wiping his ass on their dead champion's cloak. Also saves Daenerys from eating poisoned sweets. [[FAIL|Left out of the show]].
* Daario Naharis: A Tyroshi mercenary captain who dyes his hair blue. Betrays his fellow commanders for Daenerys because he loves her as a queen. Fortunately for him, Daenerys loves him back and they pursue a romance for a time, though she doesn't marry him as she's still otherwise smart enough to know she has to save herself for a political marriage. Goes to Yunkai as a hostage in the war on Meereen. Also potentially a shapeshifter, if the show is to be believed.
*Missandei: A young slave woman with a remarkable talent for linguistics and one of the more empathetic people in this dark world, Missandei is freed by Daenerys during her campaign to liberate Slaver's Bay, eventually becoming one of her closest confidants and advisers. She falls in love with the Unsullied eunuch Grey Worm, but later is captured by Cersei and beheaded by the Mountain in front of all her friends, but not before telling her friends to burn the Lannisters to ashes.

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'''The Others'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">A mysterious race from beyond the Wall, known to [[newfag|HBO fans]] as "the White Walkers". Can be described as ice demons/snow elves with necromancy. Eight thousand years ago, they invaded Westeros during a decades-long winter known as "the Long Night". With an army of undead warriors, they proceeded to fuck Westeros up every which way to [[Sunday]] before the locals finally drove them out, established the Night's Watch, and built the Wall to keep them out. Like all fantasy aspects of ASOIAF, they are very cliched. In the TV series, it's revealed that they were created from human captives by "The Children", the pseudo-[[Elf]] fair folk race that lived in Westeros before humanity arrived, as an attempt to create a super-weapon. The idea was since humanity bred faster than the Children could keep up with, they would create icy [[lich]]-creatures that could create [[undead]] soldiers, and these would then wipe out all human life. Instead, it went disastrously wrong because it turned out that the Children actually couldn't control what they'd created, so the Others [[Ork|just want to exterminate '''all''' life.]]
* Night's King: A long time ago, when the Night's Watch was just barely getting set up, its Lord Commander, the thirteenth in line, decided to climb over the Wall and explore some. While in the woods to the north of the Wall, he found a beautiful [[Monstergirls|Other female]]. He fell in love with her, had [[/d/|sex with her on top of the Wall]], which somehow changed him into an albino version of [[Star Wars|Darth Maul]], and set himself up as King of the Wall, making everyone in the Watch his slaves and sacrificial fodder. Naturally, this didn't sit too well with the Starks and the Wildlings, and so they banded together to free the Watch and kick his ass, which they managed to do successfully. Now everyone thinks him as dead or a myth. In the HBO version of the story, this whole backstory is basically dropped; he was the very first White Walker ever created by the Children, and he decided to get back at them by wiping out all life. Also, whilst he was apparently beaten in the ancient past and sealed away behind the Wall, he's still "alive" and well, [[Daemonculaba|turning infant human boys into new White Walkers]]. Also, he can apparently raise up entire legions of undead, just by raising his arms and looking completely smug about it; unlike regular Others, who can just raise up maybe a village at most. Given that he's the resident [[BBEG|Dark Lord]] of the series, it makes sense that he can take down a dragon with seemingly little effort (a simple throw of his spear), and resurrect it to be his personal steed a la Arthas. Used it to blow a hole in the Wall and begin [[The End Times]] for Westeros. Now dead thanks to Arya's magic ninja haxx letting her kill the BBEG and his entire race and army of zombies in one blow.
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'''Gods and their followers'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> The world of ASOIAF has various religions and faiths abound, just like in real life. Similarly, they range between fucking awesome to utterly useless.

*[[Ecclesiarchy|The Faith of the Seven]]: The Catholic Church stand-in, which gets both sympathetic (books only) and unsympathetic (books and show) characters associated with it. Holds an anti-slavery stance. The god/s are considered seven aspects of one deity with three male aspects (The Smith, the Father, the Warrior), three female aspects (The Maiden, the Mother, the Crone) and an asexual one representing Death. The places of worship are called Septs, and their system includes Septons, nun-equivalents called Septas and a Pope equivalent called a High Septon. The High Septons all give up their names when they become one to confuse future historians.
** High Septon 1: A fat, greedy man who used the position for personal gain. He ended up being [[Grimdark|torn apart in a riot]], because the people resented that he had enough food to stay fat while they were starving.
** High Septon 2: Successor of High Septon 1. Chosen by Tyrion so the Faith would be loyal to the Lannisters. Only ''slightly'' corrupt, being a pro-Lannister yes-man. Murdered on Cersei's order in the book, while in the show he's retconned into a whoremonger who gets deposed by the Sparrows (see below).
** High Septon 3/The High Sparrow: Successor of High Septon 2. After the second High Septon died, the smallfolk burst into the meeting to pick a successor and ordered their chosen candidate to be put in charge when his original successor was caught whoremongering. He'd been a wandering preacher beforehand, and his feet were dark and gnarled from lots of walking. When he reaches the position he starts [[gets shit done|getting things done]]. Since he was appointed by a smallfolk religious movement called Sparrows, he's given the moniker "The High Sparrow". The nobility underestimates him, either due to having other matters or disregard for religious people, but he turns out to be smart, well-meaning and somewhat ruthless. Under the High Sparrow, he and the other clergymen sell their fancy clothes and decorations [[Noblebright|replacing them with simple wool tunics, using the money to buy food and clothes for the poor in King's Landing]]. He also has their Knights-Templar-equivalent reformed to [[Inquisition|protect the faithful and help them root out]] [[heresy]] and sin. He also outwits Cersei and has her arrested and tried for all her evil deeds. While Cersei's scheming does lead to Margaery's arrest, Cersei confesses to some crimes while concealing others, leading to Cersei taking a nude walk of penance in front of the entire city. After this, he somewhat reined in the nobles' politicking to actually look after the commoners and the Faith, though this does make some enemies. In the show, he and the Sparrows are [[C.S Goto|retconned]] from assorted smallfolk and clergymen tired of the nobles' lawlessness and power plays into one-dimensional stereotypes and thinly-veiled jabs at the Catholic Church [[Imperial Truth|in a shoe-horned anti-religion message]]. While they do arrest Cersei and Margaery like in the books, during the trial most of the Faith, including the High Sparrow himself, get blown to kingdom come when Cersei has her agents ignite a massive amount of magical napalm underneath the Great Sept.
* [[Old Ones|Old Gods]]: Native American/Japanese Kame/Druid/nature spirits that reside in places called Godswoods. Their powers are limited to the North, where the last remaining Godswoods remain, but they can grant gifted individuals awesome psychic powers like Warging (mind-controlling animals) and Greensight (Time Travel). For some reason, Martin claims they're based off the Norse Gods. Probably has to do with the way the Vikings made sacrifices to their gods, by hanging them in Ash trees, a symbol for the World Tree Yggdrasil. The Weirwood trees are sacred to the followers of the Old Gods in a similar way. Mostly worship of them is quiet and informal.
* R'hllor: The God of Fire and Light, and like the Old Gods, actually shows evidence for existing. [[/tg/ gets shit done|He gets shit done]] such as fire magic and Resurrection. Has a nasty habit for burning heretics, though. GRRM said this faith is roughly based (read: poorly modelled after) upon Zoroastrianism and Gnosticism. His nemesis is The Great Other: the god of cold and darkness, the leader of the Others, and prophesied to be defeated by the chosen one, or messianic figure: [[Star Child|Azor Ahai/The Prince That Was Promised]], a figure who is the prophesied warrior that will fight with the Great Other/Night's King during the Apocalypse. Interestingly enough, the prophecy may not refer to a single person, but three (Jon, Tyrion/Bran, and Daenerys). Supposedly, one of these three will also receive an [[Emperor's Sword|awesome flaming sword called "Lightbringer"]].
* Him of Many Faces: The god of the Dead of the religion whose followers are the [[Officio Assassinorum|Faceless Men]]. According to his cult of assassins, whom Arya joins, every other god is him in a different form and he requires his assassins to utterly forget their past identities in service to him. Has a heyday during the Battle of King's Landing and the Red Wedding. His followers are granted shapeshifting abilities and powers to be the ultimate assassins.
* Drowned God: Cthulhu combined with Odin. Runs an underwater Valhalla were all Ironborn go whey they either if they drowned at sea, the men die a manly death or the women die in childbirth.

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==The appeal of A Song of Ice And Fire==
Exactly what catches the eyes of [[Skub|a given fan/critic/lout who complains about how bad it is anytime the show is mentioned within earshot]] to ASOIAF and its TV adaptation varies from individual to individual. Still, there's a couple of major draws.

'''The Worldbuilding:''' The main reason why this series gets compared to [[The Lord of the Rings]], ASOIAF is literally ''drowning'' under the weight of its worldbuilding, being crammed as full of facts about fictitious regions, histories, cultures, dynasties and races as GRRM can fit it. Your mileage will vary on how ''good'' that info is, but there's plenty of info in it.

'''Mainstream [[Dark Fantasy]]:''' Dark Fantasy is not exactly a mainstream niche. ASOIAF stands out by deliberately trying to market itself to the mainstream, despite embracing an abundance of dark fantasy tropes; gratuitous violence, sexuality and sexual violence, moral ambiguity, political intrigue, and a willingness to suddenly kill off any character, even the most likeable or heroic of them.

'''[[Low Fantasy]]:''' On the surface, ASOIAF is an old-school Low Fantasy setting, being a medieval-tech world with the story openly focused on the mundane lives of people struggling for political power and though supernatural elements do exist, they tend to be used sparingly.

'''[[High Fantasy]]:''' But if you scratch the surface, ASOIAF is also a High Fantasy setting, which is always the more marketable of the two, with the big backstory about how the world is facing impending doom from an army of wintery [[fey]] and their [[undead]] minions. There are also non-evil higher powers working against them, but they get swept under the rug in the show. Also, [[dragon]]s. As the more marketable genre, it's also inevitably the more skubby one, for whatever that's worth.

'''[[Magical Realm|Gratuitous Sexuality]]:''' More a thing for the TV show than the book; the frequent scenes of nudity and sex in the early seasons were a ''big'' selling point for many people (the casting of people from the sex industry for some of these scenes also helped).

'''Not much in terms of generic fantasy tropes:''' Hate how almost every fantasy just has to have things popularized by Tolkien such as elves, dwarves, orcs and all that stuff? You're in luck because ASOIAF features none of them. It does have [[dragon]]s and [[undead]] though so if you hate them too, well...

==Oh Yeah, About The TV Show==
[[image:KnightsWhoSayFuck.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Yeah, pretty much.]]
After the first three books became hits, many Hollywood producers and directors had come to the sadistic neckbeard, asking him about making a movie adaptation. At first, he was reluctant, at best, due to the fact that a whole lot of his content would've been cut out to be fit into a movie trilogy (see the Lord of the Rings live-action films). Then, a couple of dudes, David Benioff and D.B/Daniel Brett Weiss (AKA D&D, or more accurately as of the final season, Dumb & Dumber), decided to contact him and asked him at a local restaurant about turning ASOIAF into a Television show produced by HBO, the top-rated soft-core porno channel. The story goes that George, before giving them his consent, asks them a very specific question (Who is Jon Snow's mother?). Satisfied with the response they gave, he gave them permission to start work on the show, which would be titled after the first book, ''Game of Thrones''. They would later go on to prove that this is not a good way of choosing who should adapt your work.

The television show casts several well-known performers, such as Sean Bean as Eddard, Peter Dinklage as Tyrion, Lena Headey as Cersei, and Charles Dance as Tywin. They have also cast some comparatively less well-known actors and even ones new to cinema, such as Sophie Turner (Sansa), Maisie Williams (Arya), Kit Harington (Jon), Iwan Rheon (Ramsay), Alfie Allen (Theon), and Richard Madden (Robb).

'''TL;DR'''

[[GM|Producers Dumb&Dumber-style change characters and railroad the plot at a whim,]] [[/d/M|the tits and ultraviolence spigot is opened even wider than the books,]] and most scenes are made for the actors to show off their skills at making their signature angry/murder/brooding/etc. faces.

Thus, book snobs seem to think that every episode post-season 3 is nothing more than Emmy-bait. Regardless of the fact Kit Harington still [[Fail|doesn't have an Emmy]], there's a valid contention in that regard, with the number of liberties taken overshadowing the initial appeal.

The final season was eventually revealed to be such a train wreck because Dumb & Dumber did not want to work on the series anymore and had let the success with the earlier seasons go to their heads. In their arrogance, instead of handing the reins to someone else, they decided to plan out their own ending and use it as an audition to Disney so they could write for Star Wars. By then, they'd run out of books to adapt, there was no superior writing for them to leech off of and there was no one to gainsay them in their echo chamber of a writer's room (even George himself was cut out). The result was absolutely shit writing that caused a glorious breakage in the [[skub]] dam that left [[Butthurt|many a fan's anus weeping]] (provided they weren't early seasons fans, book series fans, or any of the other assorted onlookers [[Lulz|taking part in the mightiest of keks]]) and, if anything proved <s>George's </s> Ramsay's quote at the beginning of the article true. Goddamn Dumb & Dumber, could you talentless faggots do any worse if you tried? Luckily, comeuppance came after them and Disney, having some sense, told them to fuck off with their Star Wars ideas after the backlash towards the final season.

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="width:100%">
'''What about the final season?'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">
Long story short, the Army of the Dead is destroyed in an epic battle, where the ancient and super-powerful BBEG gets killed by some sleight-of-hand. Meanwhile, Daenerys has spent the last two seasons being stripped of her plot armour; she's lost most of her supporters - including one of her dragons - and has been forced to confront the fact that nobody in Westeros wants her around. Especially not the Northerners, where Sansa is basically playing the "Northern Independence Now!" movement to try and get her own bum in a throne after seven seasons of being a plaything for people with actual power. The kicker is she's fallen in love with Jon Snow, but he learns he's actually her nephew - and the fruit of a legitimate marriage between her elder brother Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark that was handled in secret. This discovery not only caused him to back away from her (because he's got Northerner values, so fucking his aunt squicks him out... not that it stopped him from doing it at least once), but also makes him a threat to her political standing, which is something Varys makes plans to exploit. When Tyrion found out Jon wouldn't back down, he told Danerys about it, for which she had Drogon burn Varys to ash. When she forces the survivors of the final battle to march on King's Landing, another of her dragons ends up dead and her only remaining friend captured and executed by Cersei. So she attacks King's Landing... and then, when her followers manoeuvre around her to get the city to surrender rather than die to the last, she snaps and burns most of the city to ashes. She then decides to continue ramming her head against the proverbial wall and embraces her personal narrative of herself as a divinely chosen hero-queen meant to "free" the world by conquering everybody, having lost interesting in just ruling Westeros around the same time she lost her fucking mind. Such is her insanity that Jon Snow ends up sticking a dagger in her heart rather than let her kill Sansa and Arya, who he knows will resist her.

Jon proceeds to somehow not get killed by her last surviving dragon who pretty much knows Jon killed his momma because plot reasons, and it destroys the Iron Throne ([[What|by accident, according to the showrunners]]) while chucking a tantrum over Dany's death before grabbing her body and flying off to parts unknown. This leaves everybody stuck trying to figure out what to do, [[The Empire (Warhammer Fantasy)|but ultimately they decide to replace a dynastic monarchy with an elective one]], and make Bran the new king because, hey, he's the 3-Eyed Raven and has the seer powers to see all of space and time, so he's the least worst option they have (he's also trying to find and take control of the aforementioned dragon). The North secedes from the Seven Kingdoms, but nobody gives a damn, and Jon Snow is formally banished to the Wall - where instead he wanders off into the wilderness with the surviving Wildlings, with the land showing signs of exiting its endless winter. [[The Lord of the Rings|Arya runs off to sail to the West,]] and Sansa is crowned Queen in the North.

</div></div>

==GRRM and [[Your Dudes]]==
Want to make your own ASoIF setting for a role-playing game? Well, readers have enough room to fantasize about their own minor noble House (or kingdom during the Age of the Hundred Kingdoms).

A good example of what you could do is the House from the old [[/v/|"Telltale Game of Thrones"]], House Forrester. Their relationship to the canon is as follows:

House Forrester (lords of someplace in the Wolfswood) '''-> is sworn to ->''' House Glover (overall lords of the entire Wolfswood) '''-> is sworn to ->''' House Stark (rulers of the North).

There's also an actual tie-in tabletop RPG now, which uses its own system and looks kind of like [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]] with a heavy helping of resource-management strategy feel.
Players are assuming the role of a minor House to guide to glory, or, more accurately given the setting we're in, NOT to ruin utterly in a season or two, which would still be more than many A-list players mustered in canon. Each PC has a specific position within said House, and only the role of official Head is mandatory; the rest could be wife/children/brothers and sisters/all other kinds of siblings, bastards (with rules for obtaining the legitimate recognition), maesters, sworn/subservient knights, or most of anybody else. This naturally opens up near-infinite possibilities for families screwed up seven ways to high heavens, which would make Lannister's brand of infighting-slash-inbreeding look as sane as the High Septon.

The setting is also ill-suited for "adventures in Westeros" style of gaming for two reasons:
#In the grim darkness of low fantasy, a roaming nobody with no banner to talk about, no House allegiance, no nothing isn't generally treated to a Tavern With Quest Givers, but rather more to a Tavern Where You Are Shanked For Your Sword And Boots And Dumped At The Nearest Forest. Heck, even the big wheelers and dealers are routinely seen invited to the latter when they are slow to properly introduce themselves.
#Working on your initially-puny House will quite realistically involve thy neighbours first and foremost, then liege lords from the higher House yours is sworn to, and on occasion shopping around for an advantageous marriage - there simply ain't gonna be that much spare time to "travel to see places". Both of these are also why tourism wasn't a very popular pastime in medieval Europe and why those who were "living on the road" usually enjoyed the lowest social standing.

A note to aspiring Lords: do NOT, under any circumstances, allow your "combat-optimized" siblings an unsupervised minute in a social setting. Game's "social combat" system is a thing more brutal than the physical one, and it takes a socially-optimized character all of a few minutes to mindfuck one who is not (read: everyone but dedicated diplomats and Heads of the Houses, and not every one of the latter, to boot, as illustrated by several amazing boneheads in canon) into believing pretty much anything short of Grumpkins and Snarks. Stupid NPCs or a stupid GM will make said mindfuck obvious, allowing you to "mindfuck 'em back" without abuse of OOC info; cunning ones will not.

On a side-note; GRRM is said to take a dim view of fanfiction, saying it kills creative ability. This is kind of a double-edged statement, since a lot of George's characters here are either rehashes of his characters from previous works, references to other fictional characters (like Littlefinger and Samwell being based on Jay Gatsby and [[The Lord of the Rings|Samwise Gamgee]]), walking tropes (such as Ned Stark and Robb Stark being the "[[TVTropes|Honor Before ]] [[Lawful Stupid|Reason]]" characters) or historical references (such House Lannister ripping off House Lancaster and House Tyrell being totally-not-House-Tudor - to the point that Margaery Tyrell is played by Natalie Dormer from "The Tudors" TV show). While this makes everything he wrote just another...fanfiction, and his disapproval hypocritical. Still, given the "creative" output of the average neckbeard, he does have a point. Ironically he sold the rights to make a TV series of the books to HBO, who then went on to make a glorified fanfic.

==Games==
[[image:AGot-2nd-ed-cardfan.png|thumb|250px]]
Like any fantasy author who finds themselves unexpectedly in the warm embrace of commercial success Martin quickly licensed the shit out of his setting, spawning everything from resin miniatures to replica great swords. While most of this is worthless junk to foist on [[Neckbeard|obsessive fanboys]] /tg/ has agreed that a few of the games are made of win. The first two are a collectable [[CCG|card game]] put out in 2002 by [[Fantasy Flight Games]] and a [[risk]]-esque board game that followed shortly after in 2003. One of [[White Wolf]]'s subsidiaries also put out a d20 RPG in 2005 but it quickly tanked because, come on, White Wolf. Martin since wrested the rights back and developed a new version with Green Ronin games.

Now let's have some serious talks about the Game of Thrones games because they have become some sort of endless source of amusement and frustration for the gaming fanbase. Game of Thrones is roughly speaking the second franchise with the most licensed board games, after star wars, and some of them have acquired quite a legendary status and a fanbase that goes beyond the book or series fans.

The great juggernaut for all the ASOIAF based games is Fantasy Flight Games

First and foremost we have the Game of Thrones board game, a game that after two editions still ranks high in the BGG top 100 board games, and has recently had an expansion. The Game of Thrones board game has become some sort of meme for the modern board gamers and it could be considered the equivalent of a more advanced risk, in which dice and blank character got replaced by a very flavourful and brutal combat system and a lot of thematical mechanics fueling the engine. Overall this game has been associated with concepts such as requiring maximum player count to really be entertaining, having an amazing amount of length and depth and being a very faithful representation of the political feeling the series inspired. Almost any boardgamer or wargamer worth his salt has played this game and enjoyed its highs, its lows and the amazing amount of frustrations it brings. This is probably the most well known of all the ASOIAF games and it was released way before Game of Thrones was a cultural phenomenon back in 2003.

Another game that bears mention, both for its excellent mechanics and its historical significance is the game of thrones card game. It is one of the most balanced card game experiences you can get, also full of flavour and with quite a great amount of balance and non-linear thinking. The best part is, unlike other card games, the game has a "living card game" release format, in which players know exactly what each booster pack brings and can buy cards in a more responsible manner rather than playing bingo and hoping to get a rare card. Also, the sole core set already provides more replayability than some fully-fledged board games.

Finally, the last game to mention in the FFG venerable trilogy of games is "Battles of Westeros", arguably the most ambitious and least successful of the three. Battles of Westeros was a fully-fledged wargame that used the Memoir 44/battlelore rules as a base, but then evolved into its own by introducing mechanics such as commanders, tactic cards and very creative scenario rules. Miniatures were made in 15 mm and for their time and scale they were quite detailed, some commanders are real standouts(I´m looking at you Robb Stark(with his wolf jumping at his side) and Rickard Karstark). Thanks to its scale, the game was able to provide players with a great number of options and units at a fraction of the price of other board games. With a core set that was already stacked with units and variety and then faction-specific expansions that added several more units and commanders. The game also came with scenario books that provided narrative play with quite creative rule variants, such as storming palisades, having decoys in escort missions and bombarding enemies with catapults. One scenario even tried to bring to life the battle of the blackwater (the hybrid invasion of kings landing by Stannis the Mannis). The game was incredible and quite a creative wargame, but its main issue was that the setup time was just terrible. Incredibly complex and tiresome when compared to the actual gameplay time.

And then the miniature producing Kickstarter juggernaut CMON decided to produce its own wargame, with AMAZING miniatures.

As this is CMON the game began with a [[https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/cmon/a-song-of-ice-and-fire-tabletop-miniatures-game]kickstarter], and after that, the game has had at least 2 dozen more releases with 3 more factions added.

The game has some mechanics taken from rank and file games such as KOW combining them with mechanics taken out of "battles of Westeros" particularly the tactics deck.
A new page is in the works [[ASOIAF Miniature Game]]

==Books==
*''A Game of Thrones''
*''A Clash of Kings''
*''A Storm of Swords'': Split into 2
*''A Feast for Crows'': half the characters, the point where the series goes down the toilet
*''A Dance with Dragons'': split into 2 the first is about the other half of the characters, and manages to pick things up a bit
*''The Winds of Winter'': First rumored to be ready by late 2018. Though he has shared chapters of the book, it's still not out despite being given an official release time of summer 2020. It might happen by 2030 if we're really lucky
*''A Dream of Spring'' : Unreleased and unlikely to ever be.
** GRRM will most likely die before writing this
*''The Dunk and Egg Series'': A story about a landless hedge knight travelling across Westeros with a Targaryen squire, so he can teach him how not to be an asshole to peasants.

==On The "Grimdarkness" of the Setting==

One important note: While the setting is usually held to be "Grimdark", it is also very true to Real Life in its nastiness, with real consequences for assholes.

For example: The King can order the execution of the head of the leading noble family of the North, for essentially no reason, but now he doesn't have hostages to exchange when their armies come after him seeking revenge. (And all this is modelled on various occasions where more or less '''exactly''' this kind of thing happened in Real Life Medival Europe.)

In other words: Truely heinous shit goes on, and there's nothing ''stopping'' that kind of shit... but there are ''consequences'' to that kind of shit that act as an effective counterbalance against being seen to do that kind of shit to the smarter nobles in the kingdom.

Whether the setting fully qualifies for "Grimdark" is a matter for debate, in other words.

==See Also==
*[[/tg/ Song of Ice and Fire Houses]]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U7NpSubAJQ Weiner, Weiner weiner]

[[category: Literature]]

Noblebright

2021-02-13T14:49:09Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* 8chan Explanation of the Grim/Noble and Dark/Bright Spectrum (by anons) */

{{topquote|Why does the third of the three brothers, who shares his food with the old woman in the woods, go on to become king of the country? Why does James Bond manage to disarm the nuclear bomb a few seconds before it goes off rather than, as it were, a few seconds afterwards? Because a universe where that did not happen would be a dark and hostile place. Let there be goblin hordes, let there be terrible environmental threats, let there be giant mutated slugs if you really must, but let there also be hope. It may be a grim, thin hope, an Arthurian sword at sunset, but let us know that we do not live in vain.|Sir Terry Pratchett, “Let There Be Dragons” (A Slip of the Keyboard)}}

'''NobleBright''' is an adjective derived from the term often used to describe Warhammer 40k: [[Grimdark|Grimdark]]. Just as every hero has a "mirror opposite" version that is evil, it's supposed that there must be a mirror opposite version of the heroes of WH40k where everything goes RIGHT. It can also be used to describe artwork that has a noble/bright feel, even if the setting itself would not normally be considered noble or bright.

Where the GrimDark tag usually describes a setting in a slow, painful decline, the NobleBright tag usually describes a setting emerging from a dark age and either returning to or in the midst of a golden age.

== Example: WarHammer vs. BrightHammer ==

''"We do not need a Warmaster in this age. A Warmaster would fail us. We need a DADDY."'' - [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Custodes showing their appreciation to Captain-General Kitten]]

This alternate universe setting, [[BrightHammer40k]], comes with the tagline ''"In the Noble Brightness of the far future, there is only HIGH ADVENTURE!"'' This is as opposed to the original tagline of Warhammer 40k, which stated, "In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war." BrightHammer40k's setting has strong 1920s-1940s pulp fiction themes, crossed with an "age of myth" bronze age culture.

Differences between WarHammer 40k and BrightHammer 40k include:
* The setting is loosely divided into city-states united by race, religion, philosophy or just simple common sense, rather than singular empires defined by paranoia.
* There is a wide variety in the type of characters, nations, flora and fauna, and major characters in the setting.
* Speaking of wide varieties of characters/nations, relations between different groups, whether cultural, political, racial, etc. are usually positive. Conflicts are either out of just cause or have the option of being resolved peacefully. (Unlike Grimdark, in which "conflict resolution" is usually [[Exterminatus|genocide]])
* There is an overall "pulp fiction" feel. Just like real life.
* The universe is old, in the process of rediscovering a forgotten golden age.
* Low level conflicts such as raiding are considered common, but war is not. Just like Mongolia.
* When a Noblebright universe has a war, it's usually for a well defined, just cause. Wars are usually fought with "smart" technology, and massive, endless slaughters are rare. (Grimdark usually devolves technology in some form, then throws in massive slaughters for the fun of it)
* Technology is wildly inconsistent. Just like Alaska.
* Villains are over the top, campy, and rarely played seriously. Very much like North Korea.
* Leaders are usually diplomats or wise "philosopher-kings" like in North Korea.
* Heroes do most of the heavy lifting in society, and there are heroes, great and minor, at every level of society.
* There is a strong emphasis on individual strength. (Grimdark focuses on the massed collective. Individual strength is insignificant in the enormous Grimdarkian Machine)
* Good guys can be jerks, but are still good guys.
* Over-the-top heroism usually carries the day.
* Obvious, thinly disguised Secret Agents everywhere.
* The setting is entering a technological renaissance.
* Everything is bright or vividly colored.
* As seen on TV!

Compared to Warhammer40k, Brighthammer40k is generally brighter and a nicer place to live, but is by no means peaceful, always in a low level state of conflict, internal and external, never quite turning into war. The skull motif is replaced by wings, and colors are often brighter.

==[[MidHammer 40,000]]==
Strikes a balance between Noblebright and Grimdark. Basically, you don't matter much, but if mankind can put their back into it hard enough, it'll turn out okay in the end:
*Big E is alive, and regenerating.

*Primarchs still exist

*There is hope for a better future. Even if you don't live to see it, your children may well.

*While the AdMech got buttfucked twice, it's slowly getting it back together.

==TL;DR of the Spectrum==

* <big>'''Grim/Noble'''</big> = whether the ''future'' prospects of the setting looks positive/negative, and whether anybody can accomplish anything significant for good or evil. Hope vs. despair.
* <big>'''Bright/Dark'''</big> = determines the ''current'' state of things. Is it generally a good place to live or a bad one?

==8chan Explanation of the Grim/Noble and Dark/Bright Spectrum (by anons)==
[[File:Alignments.jpg|300px|thumb|An [[alignment]] chart.]]
Grim/Noble asks whether there are heroes that exist, may appear to change the world for good or ill.
* A noble setting isn't one where everyone is good, more like one where people are active. The actions of a single hero can change the world, and a single big villain can ruin it: there are important people, who are so either by birth, rank or sheer willpower, and every single one of these people MATTER.
* In a grim world, no matter what you do, an individual can't secure more than an individual victory, if even that, because the rest of the world is too big/scared/powerless/selfish to act upon his impulse.
Something like Morrowind or Berserk is noble (bright and dark, respectively) because it is about one man forcing destiny's hand and changing the world.
* Now, a bright world is one full of opportunity, of wondrous sights to behold. It doesn't mean that it has to be MLP, it can be dangerous, but your first instinct when looking at a new location should be awe and wonder: people may adventure to save the world, but they leave town with a smile upon their face, eager to see what comes next. The shadow of Risk is largely erased by the glint of Adventure. In a bright world, it's quite possible for people to go on adventure just for the hell of it, since the journey is its own reward. Resurrection, or at least means to heal grave injuries, is usually accessible, to counterbalance the fact that the risks out there are real.
* A dark world is one where life sucks, and on top of the usual hazards, something or someone is poised to kill everybody else in the story; whether it be demon overlords, 'nids, or even the lack of water, if this threat has its way everyone dies and they die for good. If you lose an arm, you play a cripple. In the extreme cases, even when you win a fight, your career is over (i.e. gangrene). This means that, even though people may be ready to help (noble), they'll need a damn good reason to do so, since stepping out of line is so dangerous (dark).
Given is an example of each type of setting to show how the combinations of noble/grim and bright/dark work;
*40k is (grim)dark because, no matter where you go, there is only war, and heroism's only reward is usually a notch on a gun or a corpse in a trench. No matter who you are, most of the galaxy probably wants you dead, and staying home today is the best choice you can make. Even if you make it to the end, you may have to sacrifice everything to save everyone, if you haven't already done so.
* Berserk is (noble)dark because, while there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel, it takes men and women of insane willpower to get there: no matter whether you are big or small, even when you have nothing, the only thing that may save the world is the will within you screaming, "Go on!" And if hope was to fail, you're getting a book-long bloodbath-orgy, and all its consequences.
* Morrowind is (noble)bright because, even though the world is fraught with dangers, you can fix everything. The reason it isn't dark is because there is so much to see, so many interesting people to meet, so many cool things to experience that, at the end of the road, you'd do it all over again if given the chance to see it once again with virgin eyes.
* Sandman is (grim)bright because the incredible vistas and interesting people are all that can distract Dream from the dullness of his existence. He will tire of them all, but even he has to admit that he saw some cool shit. Also, notice how the relative freedom from consequences (people can get somewhat rezzed/healed/characters don't die much), a bright trait, reinforces the futility of the struggle in a grim world.

In short, grimdark and noblebright worlds both exist, and both are interesting to play in. So do grimbright (perhaps these are the most narratively counterintuitive and hardest to pull off, but simultaneously they can be the most interesting worlds to run in) and nobledark (seems to be enjoying a big surge in popularity these days - people like the aesthetics and adult nature of dark worlds, but not the crushing nihilism; in nobledark, most things suck, those rare moments of genuine nobility and decent change are all the more poignant, even if they come at great cost). Every type allows for evil and struggles to exist, and for stories to be told. Noblebright is not (usually) utopian or down to shiny, pleasant aesthetics (after all Adventure Time looks textbook Noblebright but is actually sugarcoated Grimdark) and evil can even triumph: it's less of a matter of who wins, and more of a matter of tone. In a bright world, the BBEG can win, but he won't skullfuck to death everyone the PCs know in front of a crowd without the mood turning to dark.

Some examples of each:

Grimdark:
* Warhammer, both kinds - Warhammer 40000 coined the term Grimdark from its tagline, so goes without saying.
* [[A Song of Ice and Fire|A Song of Ice and Fire / Game of Thrones]]
* Oedipus
* E.Y.E Divine Cybermancy
* Gears of War - Basically a world in which humanity has been at war with itself and genocidal mutants for over a century. The world is apocalyptic and everyone uses chainsaw bayonets to saw their enemies in half.
* Killzone 2-3 - If Space World War Two met Gears of War, Killzone is the product: A genocidal war between humanity and a mutated version of them on a wasteland planet. Both sides commit war crimes incessantly.
* The MachineGames Wolfenstein series - It's 1960, Jim, but not as we know it. The [[Nazis]] used crazy super-technology to win World War II and grind the Free World into dust by 1947. The games pull no punches in its depictions of the Nazis' ideology and the kind of waking nightmare they would turn the world into if they were free to reshape it as they saw fit.
* [[Dark Souls]]
* [[Conan the Barbarian]] - Takes place in a fictional time period after the sinking of Atlantis but before the historical record began. There are monsters and villains everywhere, all magic is black, and the few cities are run by maniacal sorcerers and other unsavory types. Conan usually only barely survives his stories through wit and dumb luck rather than might, and he certainly cannot change the world, not at least until he becomes the good king of Aquilonia.
* [[Dark Sun]]
* [[Ravenloft]]
* [[Delta Green]] - Earth and mankind exist in a tiny flickering firelight of sanity and civilization that can (and inevitably will) be snuffed out by alien gods and forces of madness. You play as the clandestine agents of the US government tasked to investigate and combat this phenomena. Few people in Delta Green live to retire, and the most common retirement plan usually involves a bottle of whiskey and their service pistol.
* [[Dwarf Fortress]]
* [[1984|Nineteen Eighty Four]] / I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream / [[Xeelee Sequence]] - All three are strong contenders for the most Grimdark story ever put to paper, experts are currently divided. The first takes place in a (possibly) post-apocalyptic Earth split between three totalitarian superpowers that are constantly at war despite sharing the same nihilistic ideology with unaffiliated nations serving as the battlegrounds/prizes, and the hero is an ordinary man who gets captured, tortured and thoroughly mindfucked by the police into accepting the rule of the Party. The second takes place in a post-apocalyptic underground city where a psychotic supercomputer tortures the last five living people while keeping them alive and from killing each other; the protagonist "wins" by mercy-killing the other four but his moral victory is tempered by the fact he is trapped forever at the mercy of the machine. The third takes place in a nightmare hellscape where the entire universe is dying between a cosmic war of two god-like races, whilst the human race has degenerated to such levels of bastardry, that the actions of stripmining entire galactic superclusters or committing a xenocidal killing-spree across the universe that stretched for millions of years is a mere dip in the ocean. There is no hope or salvation, heroism is not only dead but outright outlawed, absolute surveillance and total control due to mass time-travel usage, as an incalculable amount of human child soldiers would die for nothing. Meanwhile the surviving races are fighting tooth and nail, killing each other as they are trying to escape a reality that is collapsing in on itself.

Grimbright:
* Sandman
* The Sims - Pretty self-explanatory. The world is generally nice to live in and stories are more about your Sims' living one day at a time than anything else.
* Most Tycoon games
* The Commonwealth Saga
* [[Eclipse Phase]]
* The Culture - Futuristic novel series by Iain M. Banks, set in a utopian society based on socialist and anarchist principles achieved by post-scarcity technology ([[Eldar|space hippies whose words are backed by star-system busters]], this lot are probably the only fictional sci-fi civilization that would beat the Imperium hands-down in a war). The protagonists are usually Special Circumstances, agents of the closest thing they have to an intelligence division given license to operate outside of their laws and morals to uphold the Culture way of life.
* Deltarune
* [[Scarred Lands]]
* [[Spelljammer]]
* RWBY - The result of Sailor Moon and [[Dark Souls|Bloodborne]] having a drunk fling, it subsists on a steady diet of Rule of Cool. You take four cute teenage heroines and watch as the grim, behind-the-scenes reality of their glamourous high adventure world beans them over the head repeatedly. Because they are just rookies who don't matter much in the grand scheme of things. Then they come back with a vengeance and it becomes pure Noblebright instead.
* Doctor Who - It's a time travel show where the protagonist is a millennia-old alien who has seen and done some truly incredible shit in his time, but cannot overtly alter the flow of history or even build close relations with his human companions. He just saves the day and goes off to another planet.
* Most of Zeus' flings with mortals (from the gods' perspective)

Nobledark:
* [[The Lord of the Rings]] - If Warhammer is the platonic ideal of Grimdark, LOTR is the platonic ideal of Nobledark.
* Mass Effect - Galactic civilization is not a united front, humanity is the upstart new kid on the block and looming over all are the Reapers bringing Lovecraftian levels of Grimdark, but while it takes a monumental effort heroes can save (or ruin) everything.
* Berserk
* [[Eberron]]
* Starcraft
* Terminator - "No fate but what we make" vs a genocidal global army of machines.
* Fallout - Especially New Vegas, oh boy, New Vegas. The Independence ending is basically the story of how a wasteland courier dug their way out of their own grave and brought down two post-apocalyptic superpowers through sheer force of will and character.
* The Iliad
* Skyrim
* Firefly - Humanity is settled in star systems caught between an authoritarian interstellar Alliance, interplanetary crime syndicates and space pirates who are pretty much [[Dark Eldar]] with alien advancement swapped for cannibalism and radiation sickness... but the motley crew of one outdated freighter ship dance between the raindrops and strike blows against these three that actually improve life for humanity.
* Most Batman stories - Yes, Gotham sucks and yes, Batman is a dark character, but he is also a deeply idealistic hero (refuses to kill, believes in the inherent good of people and the human spirit). Which is why putting Batman in Grimdark tends to really not work.
* Warhammer novels like [[Ciaphas Cain]] and Gaunt's Ghosts. Especially ones where the protagonists are ordinary people like the [[Imperial Guard]] rather than the superhuman, galaxy-bestriding Space Marines.
* [[Exalted]] - Encapsulates the nobledark spirit for RPGs. "The world sucks. You have the power to fix it. Try not to fuck it up worse."

Noblebright:
* The Chronicles of Narnia
* Morrowind
* [[Forgotten Realms]]
* [[Greyhawk]]
* Magi
* Warcraft
* Star Wars
* Pokemon
* Trine
* Most Marvel movies, except the one that is really infamous for not being this
* The Odyssey
* And of course, Star Trek - The platonic ideal of Noblebright.

== More examples of works and their ranking ==

Please be aware that the following list is a product of many different [[Fa/tg/uys|Fa/tg/uys]] personal [[Skub|opinions]].
[[Image:Helghan Revolution.jpg|thumb|right|Noblebright struggles have heroic sacrifices, copious amounts of bravery, and a just cause to fight for.]] [[Image:Killzone Rise From Ruin.jpg|thumb|right|Grimdark wars are usually directionless, brutal, and the reasons for fighting are very obscure (When there is one, it's usually thrown away in the face of reality).]]

<center>
{|border=1 cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0
|- align=left
! NobleBright
! ...and GrimDark
|-
| [[Brighthammer_40,000_(2nd_edition)|BrightHammer 40k]] OR [[Age of Sigmar]] || [[Warhammer_40,000|WarHammer 40k]]
|-
| [[Warhammer_40,000|WarHammer 40k]] 8th ED, but more like Nobledark || [[Warhammer_40,000|WarHammer 40k]] 3rd Edition or Age of Sigmar 2nd Edition<br>(sorta. Could be considered approaching Noblebright->Dark)
|-
| Entire Warhammer Franchise (Both 40k and Fantasy/AoS) || [[Xeelee Sequence|Xeelee universe]]
|-
| [[Exalted]] (Well, Zig-zags between the two) || [[Vampire:_The_Masquerade|Vampire:tM]], [[Werewolf:_The_Apocalypse|Werewolf:tA]] ([[oWoD]])
|-
| [[Changeling:_The_Dreaming|Changeling:tD]] ([[oWoD]]) || [[Changeling:_The_Lost|Changeling:tL]] ([[nWoD]])
|-
|[[Geist: The Sin-Eaters]] ([[nWoD]]) ||[[ Wraith: The Oblivion]] ([[oWoD]])
|-
|[[D20_Modern|D20 Modern]] || [[Call_of_Cthulhu|Call of Cthulhu]]
|-
| Steven Spielberg||Quentin Tarantino
|-
| The West Wing || House of Cards
|-
| Special Unit 2 || [[Delta Green]]
|-
| [[Star Trek]] (in general) || Babylon 5 (closer to Nobledark)
|-
|[[Star Trek]] (in general) || [[Star Trek]] Picard (or even Discovery)
|-
| Star Trek: Voyager || [[Red Dwarf]]
|-
| Andromeda Ascendant || Farscape
|-
| Stargate SG-1 || The First Wave
|-
| Firefly (maybe not, see Discussion) || Blake's 7
|-
| Battlestar Galactica (1978) || Battlestar Galactica (2004)
|-
| Temeraire Series || [[A Song of Ice and Fire|Game of Thrones]]
|-
| Robocop || Judge Dredd
|-
| Code Lyoko || ReBoot
|-
| ReBoot || .hack
|-
| .hack || Sword Art Online
|-
| Previous season of Sword Art Online || Next season of Sword Art Online
|-
| [[Rogue Trader (RPG)|Rogue Trader]] || [[Dark Heresy]]
|-
| Osamu Tezuka || Go Nagai
|-
| The Wizard of Oz || Soul Eater
|-
| MACROSS (Robotech) || Mobile Suit Gundam
|-
| Mobile Suit Gundam || Neon Genesis Evangelion
|-
| Neon Genesis Evangelion || Bokurano
|-
| [[7th Sea]] || [[Poison'd]]
|-
| Zoids || Gundam
|-
| [[Spirit of the Century]] || [[Don't Rest Your Head]]
|-
| [[Traveller]] || [[Eclipse Phase]]
|-
| [[Dragonlance]] || [[Dark Sun]]
|-
| [[Avatar: The Last Airbender|Avatar]] (not [[Avatar|Cameron's furfic)]] || Kaze no Stigma
|-
| [[Warcraft]] || [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle|Warhammer Fantasy Battle]]
|-
| [[Magic the gathering|Alara]], [[Theros]], [[Lorwyn]] || [[Innistrad]], [[Phyrexia|New Phyrexia]], [[Shadowmoor]]
|-
| [[Neverwinter Nights]] || Dragon Age
|-
| [[The Elder Scrolls]]<br>(Well, somewhat, if you ignore Kirkbride's EU-thing) || Gothic
|-
| Final Fantasy || Megami Tensei
|-
| Persona || Shin Megami Tensei
|-
| Guin Saga || Berserk (more Nobledark)
|-
| Forts || REDCON
|-
| Persona 4 & 5 || Persona 3
|-
| Red Alert 3 || Red Alert 2
|-
| Red Alert 2 || Red Alert
|-
| Wolfenstein || MachineGames Wolfenstein games
|-
| [[Command and Conquer]]: Red Alert series || [[Command and Conquer]]: Tiberium series
|-
| Animorphs || Terraformars
|-
| Fate/Stay Night || Fate/Zero
|-
| [[Starcraft]] II || [[Starcraft|Starcraft: Brood War]]
|-
| [[Diablo]] III || [[Diablo]] I & II
|-
| Grand Theft Auto 1 || Saints Row 1
|-
| Saints Row 3 || Grand Theft Auto 4
|-
| Fable III || Dark Souls
|-
| Cowboy Bebop|| Black Lagoon
|-
| Undertale || LISA
|-
| Kid Icarus || God of War
|-
| God of War 2018 || pre-2018 God of War
|-
| Mass Effect 1 || Mass Effect 3
|-
| Mass Effect universe || [[Setting:Halo|Halo universe]]
|-
| [[Setting:Halo|Halo universe]] || Dead Space universe
|-
| Dead Space Trilogy || Halo: Forerunner Trilogy
|-
| Spore || Darkspore
|-
| Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann || Getter Robo Armageddon
|-
| Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann || Kill la Kill
|-
| Rebuild of Evangelion (Well, Zig-zags between the two) || Neon Genesis Evangelion
|-
| Neo-Hunter Casshern || Casshern Sins
|-
| Dragon Ball || Hunter X Hunter
|-
| Mai-Otome || Mai-Hime (last 10 episodes at least)
|-
| Cardcaptor Sakura || Puella Magi Madoka Magica
|-
| Puella Magi Madoka Magica || Magical Girl Site
|-
| Power Rangers in General || Power Rangers RPM
|-
| Super Sentai || Kamen Rider (especially the Showa Era ones)
|-
| Kamen Rider (most Heisei Era ones) || GARO
|-
| Batman: the Brave & the Bold || Batman: TAS (first two seasons only)
|-
| [[Star Wars RPG|Star Wars Episode I, IV, VI,<br>Star Wars: The Clone Wars Movie and Season 1,<br>and a decent portion of the Expanded Universe]] || [[Star Wars D20|Star Wars Episode II, III, V, VII,<br>Star Wars: The Clone Wars from Season 2 onwards,<br>and the other half the Expanded Universe, especially The New Jedi Order and Legacy]]
|-
| Little House on the Prairie || Deadwood
|-
| Full House || Married With Children
|-
| The Green Zone || The Hurt Locker
|-
| The Sarah Jane Adventures || [[Doctor Who|Torchwood]]
|-
| ''Pirates of the Caribbean'' || ''Black sails''
|-
| ''Assassins Creed IV: Black Flag'' || ''Risen 2: Dark Waters''
|-
| Justice League || Watchmen
|-
| Castlevania || Buffy: The Vampire Slayer
|-
| ''Lois and Clark'' or the 80's Superman Movies || ''Man of Steel''
|-
| ''Planetary'' || ''The Authority''
|-
| Cyanide and Happiness || [http://picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=132 pictures for sad children]
|-
| The Silver Age of Comic Books || The Dark Age of Comic Books
|-
| [[Steampunk|Steampunk Genre]] || [[Cyberpunk|Cyberpunk Genre]]
|-
| Raspberry Pi || OpenPandora
|-
| South Korea || <s>North</s> BEST Korea
|-
| [[Discworld]] || [[A Song of Ice and Fire]]
|-
| A Wizard of Earthsea || The Tombs of Atuan
|-
| Guilty Gear || BlazBlue
|-
| Mega Man (Classic, Legends, Battle Network,<br>ZX, Star Forces 1 and 2)|| Mega Man (X, Zero, Star Force 3,), The Protomen
|-
| The Chronicles of Narnia|| His Dark Materials
|-
| Anthem || Halo
|-
| Halo || Half-Life 2
|-
| Half-Life 2 || Resistance
|-
| Resistance || Gears of War (The first game especially)
|-
| Gears of War || Killzone
|-
| Just Cause 2 || Spec Ops: The Line
|-
| Plants VS Zombies || The Last of Us
|-
| The Last of Us || The Last of Us Part 2 (10% Grimdark, 90% [[Grimderp]])
|-
| Mirror's Edge || Assassin's Creed
|-
| Iron Kingdoms MKii || Iron Kingdoms MKi
|-
| Marvel Comics films || [[Grimdark#Grimderp|DC Universe films]]
|-
| DC comics || Marvel comics
|-
| Buffy the Vampire Slayer || Hellsing (any medium)
|-
| Hellsing (2001 series) || Hellsing (manga and OVA)
|-
| Marvel comics || Watchmen comics
|-
| Watchmen comics || Wanted comics
|-
| Warehouse 13 || The [[SCP Foundation]]
|-
| [[Eberron]] || [[Dragonmech]]
|-
| [[Planescape]] || [[Ravenloft]]
|-
| [[Wilderlands of High Fantasy]]|| | [[Forgotten Realms]]
|-
| InFamous || Prototype
|-
| Harry Potter 1-3 || Harry Potter 4-7 (ESPECIALLY 7th)
|-
| Deus Ex 1-2 || System Shock 1-2
|-
| RoboCop || Terminator
|-
| Homeworld 1 and 2 || Homeworld: Cataclysm<br>(when the Beast make their first appearance)
|-
| [[Fist of the North Star]] || Violence Jack
|-
| The Simpsons || South Park
|-
| The Glaive || Conan the Barbarian
|-
| The Hobbit || The Children of Hurin
|-
| Chivalric Romances || Icelandic Sagas
|-
| American Revolution || Vietnam War
|-
| [[Mordheim]] || [[Malifaux]]
|-
| Civilization:Beyond Earth || [[Alpha Centauri]]
|-
| [[The New Testament]] || [[The Old Testament]]
|-
| Overwatch || [[Team Fortress 2]] (Especially Mann vs. Machine)
|-
| [[Team Fortress 2]] || Team Fortress Classic
|-
| Ghostbusters films and Real Ghostbusters || | Extreme Ghostbusters
|-
| Metal Gear (in general) || | Metal Gear Solid V
|-
| Girls und Panzer || Panzerfraulein Alteseisen
|-
| Far Cry 1 || | Far Cry 2 and 3
|-
| Overstrike || | Fuse
|-
| Pokemon Franchise || | Digimon Franchise
|-
| Digimon Adventure || | Digimon Tamers
|-
| Digimon Tamers || Shadow Star Narutaru
|-
| Bakugan || Kiba
|-
| [[Fallout]] series || | S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series
|-
| S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series || | Metro 2033 and Metro Last Light
|-
| Metro 2033 and Metro Last Light || | Metro 2033 (novel), Metro 2034 (novel),<br>and Metro 2035 (novel)
|-
|[[Approved anime|Slayers]] || | Bastard!!
|-
| Fast And Furious || | Death Race
|-
| Death Race || | Mad Max
|-
| Dracula || | Underworld
|-
| Y:the last man || | Children of men
|-
| Battlefield Bad Company || | Call of Duty Modern Warfare trilogy
|-
| Call of Duty Modern Warfare trilogy || | Call of Duty Black Ops III
|-
| Dead Rising series || | Left 4 Dead series
|-
| Left 4 Dead series || | Dead Island series
|-
| Dead Island series || | World War Z movie
|-
| World War Z Movie || | World War Z novel
|-
| World War Z Novel || | The Walking Dead comics
|-
| Super Robot anime|| | Real Robot anime
|-
| Real Robot anime|| | WAT Robot anime
|-
| The Go-Betweens|| | The Birthday Party/Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
|-
| League of Legends|| | Dota 2
|-
| Rome: Total War|| | Total War: Attila
|-
| Freespace || | Freespace 2
|-
| Street Fighter franchise || | Mortal Kombat franchise
|-
| Star Wars Jedi: Outcast duology || | Star Wars: Battlefront 1 & 2 (2000's)
|-
| Minecraft || | 7 Days to Die
|-
| Blood Diamond || | Lord of War
|-
| Naoki Urusawa's Monster || ERASED
|-
| Casa de mi Padre || | Sicario
|-
| GammaWorld || | The Mutant Epoch
|-
| Konosuba || Re:Zero
|-
| Log Horizon || Overlord
|-
| Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? || [[Goblin Slayer]]
|-
| This Means War || Savages
|-
| Brave New World (more like GrimBright, really) || [[1984]]
|-
| Sailor Moon (old censored american dub) || Sailor Moon (original version)
|-
| Sailor Moon (original version) || Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
|-
| Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon || Revolutionary Girl Utena
|-
| Revolutionary Girl Utena || Puella Magi Madoka Magica
|-
| Egan's Diaspora || | Dukaj's Perfect Imperfection
|-
| Touhou Project || Crimzon Clover
|-
| Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet, and White Lantern Corps || Red, Orange, Yellow, Black, and Ultraviolet Lantern Corps
|-
| Pod Save America || Chapo Trap House
|-
| Chapo Trap House || The Daily Shoah
|-
| Jimmy Neutron, Back to the Future || Rick and Morty
|-
| World War II: Western Front || World War II: Eastern Front
|-
| World War II: Eastern Front || World War II: Pacific Theatre
|-
| World War II: Pacific Theatre || World War I: Western Front
|-
| World War II: French Resistance || World War II: Polish Resistance
|-
| Pork Chop Hill || Tae-Guk-Gi
|-
| [[Death Korps of Krieg]] || [[Xeelee_Sequence#Interim_Coalition_of_Governance|Interim Coalition of Governance]]
|-
| Parasyte || Devilman
|-
| Disney Channel || Cartoon Network
|-
| Cartoon Network || Toonami
|-
| Toonami || Adult Swim
|-
| E.T. || IT
|-
| Homo faber || Lolita
|-
| Maple Story || Made in Abyss
|-
| Ready Player One || 20th Century Boys
|-
| My Hero Academia || ONE PUNCH MAN (more like Grimbright, really)
|-
| Grand Theft Auto || Mafia
|-
| [[Superman | Metropolis]] || [[Batman | Gotham City]]
|-
| Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy. || Jak 2 and later
|-
| Axis Powers Hetalia || Polandball
|-
| Soren Kierkegaard || Friedrich Nietzsche
|-
| John Stuart Mill || David Benatar
|-
| Noam Chomsky || Michel Foucault
|-
| Thomas Aquinas || Augustine of Hippo
|-
| Jean-Jacques Rousseau || Thomas Hobbes
|-
| Thomas Hobbes || Friedrich Nietzsche
|-
| Friedrich Nietzsche (before Thus Spoke Zarathustra) || Friedrich Nietzsche (after Thus Spoke Zarathustra)
|-
| Friedrich Nietzsche || Mark Twain (Best example being the Mysterious Stranger)
|-
| Arthur Schopenhauer || Emil Cioran
|-
| Classical Philosophy (e.g. Virtue Ethics, Stoicism) || Contemporary Philosophy (e.g. Existentialism, Postmodernism)
|-
| Jean-Paul Sartre || Albert Camus
|-
| The American Revolution || The French Revolution
|-
| The French Revolution || The Russian Revolution
|-
| The Settlers || Civilization
|-
| Civilization || Tropico (Can be Grimbright if you are a "benevolent" dictator)
|-
| Sgt. Frog || Invader Zim
|-
| Adventure Time || Tigtone
|-
| [[Furry|Zootopia]] || [[Furry|Beastars]] (actually closer to Nobledark)
|-
| [[Furry|Beastars]] || [[Furry|Kevin and Kell]] (The setting, but not the story)
|-
| I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream (the video game) || I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream (the book)
|-
| Stellaris (when you play Egalitarian, Xenophile or Federation Builder) || Stellaris (whenever you play [[Imperium of Man|Xenophobe/Fanatic Purifier]] or [[Fall of the Eldar|Psionic Ascension]])
|-
| Care Bears || Happy Tree Friends
|-
| Kid vs Kat || Mr. Pickles
|-
| Power Metal || Thrash Metal
|-
| Thrash Metal || Death Metal
|-
| Death Metal || Black Metal
|-
| Black Metal || Doom Metal/Sludge
|-
| 2019 || 2020
|-
| 2020 || 2021
|-
|}

</center>

[[Category:Gamer Slang]]

Noblebright

2021-02-13T14:41:04Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* 8chan Explanation of the Grim/Noble and Dark/Bright Spectrum (by anons) */

{{topquote|Why does the third of the three brothers, who shares his food with the old woman in the woods, go on to become king of the country? Why does James Bond manage to disarm the nuclear bomb a few seconds before it goes off rather than, as it were, a few seconds afterwards? Because a universe where that did not happen would be a dark and hostile place. Let there be goblin hordes, let there be terrible environmental threats, let there be giant mutated slugs if you really must, but let there also be hope. It may be a grim, thin hope, an Arthurian sword at sunset, but let us know that we do not live in vain.|Sir Terry Pratchett, “Let There Be Dragons” (A Slip of the Keyboard)}}

'''NobleBright''' is an adjective derived from the term often used to describe Warhammer 40k: [[Grimdark|Grimdark]]. Just as every hero has a "mirror opposite" version that is evil, it's supposed that there must be a mirror opposite version of the heroes of WH40k where everything goes RIGHT. It can also be used to describe artwork that has a noble/bright feel, even if the setting itself would not normally be considered noble or bright.

Where the GrimDark tag usually describes a setting in a slow, painful decline, the NobleBright tag usually describes a setting emerging from a dark age and either returning to or in the midst of a golden age.

== Example: WarHammer vs. BrightHammer ==

''"We do not need a Warmaster in this age. A Warmaster would fail us. We need a DADDY."'' - [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Custodes showing their appreciation to Captain-General Kitten]]

This alternate universe setting, [[BrightHammer40k]], comes with the tagline ''"In the Noble Brightness of the far future, there is only HIGH ADVENTURE!"'' This is as opposed to the original tagline of Warhammer 40k, which stated, "In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war." BrightHammer40k's setting has strong 1920s-1940s pulp fiction themes, crossed with an "age of myth" bronze age culture.

Differences between WarHammer 40k and BrightHammer 40k include:
* The setting is loosely divided into city-states united by race, religion, philosophy or just simple common sense, rather than singular empires defined by paranoia.
* There is a wide variety in the type of characters, nations, flora and fauna, and major characters in the setting.
* Speaking of wide varieties of characters/nations, relations between different groups, whether cultural, political, racial, etc. are usually positive. Conflicts are either out of just cause or have the option of being resolved peacefully. (Unlike Grimdark, in which "conflict resolution" is usually [[Exterminatus|genocide]])
* There is an overall "pulp fiction" feel. Just like real life.
* The universe is old, in the process of rediscovering a forgotten golden age.
* Low level conflicts such as raiding are considered common, but war is not. Just like Mongolia.
* When a Noblebright universe has a war, it's usually for a well defined, just cause. Wars are usually fought with "smart" technology, and massive, endless slaughters are rare. (Grimdark usually devolves technology in some form, then throws in massive slaughters for the fun of it)
* Technology is wildly inconsistent. Just like Alaska.
* Villains are over the top, campy, and rarely played seriously. Very much like North Korea.
* Leaders are usually diplomats or wise "philosopher-kings" like in North Korea.
* Heroes do most of the heavy lifting in society, and there are heroes, great and minor, at every level of society.
* There is a strong emphasis on individual strength. (Grimdark focuses on the massed collective. Individual strength is insignificant in the enormous Grimdarkian Machine)
* Good guys can be jerks, but are still good guys.
* Over-the-top heroism usually carries the day.
* Obvious, thinly disguised Secret Agents everywhere.
* The setting is entering a technological renaissance.
* Everything is bright or vividly colored.
* As seen on TV!

Compared to Warhammer40k, Brighthammer40k is generally brighter and a nicer place to live, but is by no means peaceful, always in a low level state of conflict, internal and external, never quite turning into war. The skull motif is replaced by wings, and colors are often brighter.

==[[MidHammer 40,000]]==
Strikes a balance between Noblebright and Grimdark. Basically, you don't matter much, but if mankind can put their back into it hard enough, it'll turn out okay in the end:
*Big E is alive, and regenerating.

*Primarchs still exist

*There is hope for a better future. Even if you don't live to see it, your children may well.

*While the AdMech got buttfucked twice, it's slowly getting it back together.

==TL;DR of the Spectrum==

* <big>'''Grim/Noble'''</big> = whether the ''future'' prospects of the setting looks positive/negative, and whether anybody can accomplish anything significant for good or evil. Hope vs. despair.
* <big>'''Bright/Dark'''</big> = determines the ''current'' state of things. Is it generally a good place to live or a bad one?

==8chan Explanation of the Grim/Noble and Dark/Bright Spectrum (by anons)==
[[File:Alignments.jpg|300px|thumb|An [[alignment]] chart.]]
Grim/Noble asks whether there are heroes that exist, may appear to change the world for good or ill.
* A noble setting isn't one where everyone is good, more like one where people are active. The actions of a single hero can change the world, and a single big villain can ruin it: there are important people, who are so either by birth, rank or sheer willpower, and every single one of these people MATTER.
* In a grim world, no matter what you do, an individual can't secure more than an individual victory, if even that, because the rest of the world is too big/scared/powerless/selfish to act upon his impulse.
Something like Morrowind or Berserk is noble (bright and dark, respectively) because it is about one man forcing destiny's hand and changing the world.
* Now, a bright world is one full of opportunity, of wondrous sights to behold. It doesn't mean that it has to be MLP, it can be dangerous, but your first instinct when looking at a new location should be awe and wonder: people may adventure to save the world, but they leave town with a smile upon their face, eager to see what comes next. The shadow of Risk is largely erased by the glint of Adventure. In a bright world, it's quite possible for people to go on adventure just for the hell of it, since the journey is its own reward. Resurrection, or at least means to heal grave injuries, is usually accessible, to counterbalance the fact that the risks out there are real.
* A dark world is one where life sucks, and on top of the usual hazards, something or someone is poised to kill everybody else in the story; whether it be demon overlords, 'nids, or even the lack of water, if this threat has its way everyone dies and they die for good. If you lose an arm, you play a cripple. In the extreme cases, even when you win a fight, your career is over (i.e. gangrene). This means that, even though people may be ready to help (noble), they'll need a damn good reason to do so, since stepping out of line is so dangerous (dark).
Given is an example of each type of setting to show how the combinations of noble/grim and bright/dark work;
*40k is (grim)dark because, no matter where you go, there is only war, and heroism's only reward is usually a notch on a gun or a corpse in a trench. No matter who you are, most of the galaxy probably wants you dead, and staying home today is the best choice you can make. Even if you make it to the end, you may have to sacrifice everything to save everyone, if you haven't already done so.
* Berserk is (noble)dark because, while there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel, it takes men and women of insane willpower to get there: no matter whether you are big or small, even when you have nothing, the only thing that may save the world is the will within you screaming, "Go on!" And if hope was to fail, you're getting a book-long bloodbath-orgy, and all its consequences.
* Morrowind is (noble)bright because, even though the world is fraught with dangers, you can fix everything. The reason it isn't dark is because there is so much to see, so many interesting people to meet, so many cool things to experience that, at the end of the road, you'd do it all over again if given the chance to see it once again with virgin eyes.
* Sandman is (grim)bright because the incredible vistas and interesting people are all that can distract Dream from the dullness of his existence. He will tire of them all, but even he has to admit that he saw some cool shit. Also, notice how the relative freedom from consequences (people can get somewhat rezzed/healed/characters don't die much), a bright trait, reinforces the futility of the struggle in a grim world.

In short, grimdark and noblebright worlds both exist, and both are interesting to play in. So do grimbright (perhaps these are the most narratively counterintuitive and hardest to pull off, but simultaneously they can be the most interesting worlds to run in) and nobledark (seems to be enjoying a big surge in popularity these days - people like the aesthetics and adult nature of dark worlds, but not the crushing nihilism; in nobledark, most things suck, those rare moments of genuine nobility and decent change are all the more poignant, even if they come at great cost). Every type allows for evil and struggles to exist, and for stories to be told. Noblebright is not (usually) utopian or down to shiny, pleasant aesthetics (after all Adventure Time looks textbook Noblebright but is actually sugarcoated Grimdark) and evil can even triumph: it's less of a matter of who wins, and more of a matter of tone. In a bright world, the BBEG can win, but he won't skullfuck to death everyone the PCs know in front of a crowd without the mood turning to dark.

Some examples of each:

Grimdark:
* Warhammer, both kinds - Warhammer 40000 coined the term Grimdark from its tagline, so goes without saying.
* [[A Song of Ice and Fire|A Song of Ice and Fire / Game of Thrones]]
* Oedipus
* E.Y.E Divine Cybermancy
* Gears of War - Basically a world in which humanity has been at war with itself and genocidal mutants for over a century. The world is apocalyptic and everyone uses chainsaw bayonets to saw their enemies in half.
* Killzone 2-3 - If Space World War Two met Gears of War, Killzone is the product: A genocidal war between humanity and a mutated version of them on a wasteland planet. Both sides commit war crimes incessantly.
* The MachineGames Wolfenstein series - It's 1960, Jim, but not as we know it. The [[Nazis]] used crazy super-technology to win World War II and grind the Free World into dust by 1947. The games pull no punches in its depictions of the Nazis' ideology and the kind of waking nightmare they would turn the world into if they were free to reshape it as they saw fit.
* [[Dark Souls]]
* [[Conan the Barbarian]] - Takes place in a fictional time period after the sinking of Atlantis but before the historical record began. There are monsters and villains everywhere, all magic is black, and the few cities are run by maniacal sorcerers and other unsavory types. Conan usually only barely survives his stories through wit and dumb luck rather than might, and he certainly cannot change the world, not at least until he becomes the good king of Aquilonia.
* [[Dark Sun]]
* [[Ravenloft]]
* [[Delta Green]] - Earth and mankind exist in a tiny flickering firelight of sanity and civilization that can (and inevitably will) be snuffed out by alien gods and forces of madness. You play as the clandestine agents of the US government tasked to investigate and combat this phenomena. Few people in Delta Green live to retire, and the most common retirement plan usually involves a bottle of whiskey and their service pistol.
* [[Dwarf Fortress]]
* [[1984|Nineteen Eighty Four]] / I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream / [[Xeelee Sequence]] - All three are strong contenders for the most Grimdark story ever put to paper, experts are currently divided. The first takes place in a (possibly) post-apocalyptic Earth split between three totalitarian superpowers that are constantly at war despite sharing the same nihilistic ideology with unaffiliated nations serving as the battlegrounds/prizes, and the hero is an ordinary man who gets captured, tortured and thoroughly mindfucked by the police into accepting the rule of the Party. The second takes place in a post-apocalyptic underground city where a psychotic supercomputer tortures the last five living people while keeping them alive and from killing each other; the protagonist "wins" by mercy-killing the other four but his moral victory is tempered by the fact he is trapped forever at the mercy of the machine. The third takes place in a nightmare hellscape where the entire universe is dying between a cosmic war of two god-like races, whilst the human race has degenerated to such levels of bastardry, that the actions of stripmining entire galactic superclusters or committing a xenocidal killing-spree across the universe that stretched for millions of years is a mere dip in the ocean. There is no hope or salvation, heroism is not only dead but outright outlawed, absolute surveillance and total control due to mass time-travel usage, as an incalculable amount of human child soldiers would die for nothing. Meanwhile the surviving races are fighting tooth and nail, killing each other as they are trying to escape a reality that is collapsing in on itself.

Grimbright:
* Sandman
* The Sims - Pretty self-explanatory. The world is generally nice to live in and stories are more about your Sims' living one day at a time than anything else.
* Most Tycoon games
* The Commonwealth Saga
* [[Eclipse Phase]]
* The Culture - Futuristic novel series by Iain M. Banks, set in a utopian society based on socialist and anarchist principles achieved by post-scarcity technology ([[Eldar|space hippies whose words are backed by star-system busters]], this lot are probably the only fictional sci-fi civilization that would beat the Imperium hands-down in a war). The protagonists are usually Special Circumstances, agents of the closest thing they have to an intelligence division given license to operate outside of their laws and morals to uphold the Culture way of life.
* Deltarune
* [[Scarred Lands]]
* [[Spelljammer]]
* RWBY - The result of Sailor Moon and [[Dark Souls|Bloodborne]] having a drunk fling, it subsists on a steady diet of Rule of Cool. You take four cute teenage heroines and watch as the grim, behind-the-scenes reality of their glamourous high adventure world beans them over the head repeatedly. Because they are just rookies who don't matter much in the grand scheme of things. Then they come back with a vengeance and it becomes pure Noblebright instead.
* Doctor Who - It's a time travel show where the protagonist is a millennia-old alien who has seen and done some truly incredible shit in his time, but cannot overtly alter the flow of history or even build close relations with his human companions. He just saves the day and goes off to another planet.
* Most of Zeus' flings with mortals (from the gods' perspective)

Nobledark:
* [[The Lord of the Rings]] - If Warhammer is the platonic ideal of Grimdark, LOTR is the platonic ideal of Nobledark.
* Mass Effect - Galactic civilization is not a united front, humanity is the upstart new kid on the block and looming over all are the Reapers bringing Lovecraftian levels of Grimdark, but while it takes a monumental effort heroes can save (or ruin) everything.
* Berserk
* [[Eberron]]
* Starcraft
* Terminator - "No fate but what we make".
* Fallout - Especially New Vegas, oh boy, New Vegas. The Independence ending is basically the story of how a wasteland courier dug their way out of their own grave and brought down two post-apocalyptic superpowers through sheer force of will and character.
* The Iliad
* Skyrim
* Firefly - Humanity is settled in star systems caught between an authoritarian interstellar Alliance, interplanetary crime syndicates and the Reavers who are pretty much [[Dark Eldar]] without the sophistication, alien tech or alien monsters.
* Most Batman stories - Yes, Gotham sucks and yes, Batman is a dark character, but he is also a deeply idealistic hero (refuses to kill, believes in the inherent good of people and the human spirit). Which is why putting Batman in Grimdark tends to really not work.
* Warhammer novels like [[Ciaphas Cain]] and Gaunt's Ghosts. Especially ones where the protagonists are ordinary people like the [[Imperial Guard]] rather than the superhuman, galaxy-bestriding Space Marines.
* [[Exalted]] - Encapsulates the nobledark spirit for RPGs. "The world sucks. You have the power to fix it. Try not to fuck it up worse."

Noblebright:
* The Chronicles of Narnia
* Morrowind
* [[Forgotten Realms]]
* [[Greyhawk]]
* Magi
* Warcraft
* Star Wars
* Pokemon
* Trine
* Most Marvel movies, except the one that is really infamous for not being this
* The Odyssey
* And of course, Star Trek - The platonic ideal of Noblebright.

== More examples of works and their ranking ==

Please be aware that the following list is a product of many different [[Fa/tg/uys|Fa/tg/uys]] personal [[Skub|opinions]].
[[Image:Helghan Revolution.jpg|thumb|right|Noblebright struggles have heroic sacrifices, copious amounts of bravery, and a just cause to fight for.]] [[Image:Killzone Rise From Ruin.jpg|thumb|right|Grimdark wars are usually directionless, brutal, and the reasons for fighting are very obscure (When there is one, it's usually thrown away in the face of reality).]]

<center>
{|border=1 cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0
|- align=left
! NobleBright
! ...and GrimDark
|-
| [[Brighthammer_40,000_(2nd_edition)|BrightHammer 40k]] OR [[Age of Sigmar]] || [[Warhammer_40,000|WarHammer 40k]]
|-
| [[Warhammer_40,000|WarHammer 40k]] 8th ED, but more like Nobledark || [[Warhammer_40,000|WarHammer 40k]] 3rd Edition or Age of Sigmar 2nd Edition<br>(sorta. Could be considered approaching Noblebright->Dark)
|-
| Entire Warhammer Franchise (Both 40k and Fantasy/AoS) || [[Xeelee Sequence|Xeelee universe]]
|-
| [[Exalted]] (Well, Zig-zags between the two) || [[Vampire:_The_Masquerade|Vampire:tM]], [[Werewolf:_The_Apocalypse|Werewolf:tA]] ([[oWoD]])
|-
| [[Changeling:_The_Dreaming|Changeling:tD]] ([[oWoD]]) || [[Changeling:_The_Lost|Changeling:tL]] ([[nWoD]])
|-
|[[Geist: The Sin-Eaters]] ([[nWoD]]) ||[[ Wraith: The Oblivion]] ([[oWoD]])
|-
|[[D20_Modern|D20 Modern]] || [[Call_of_Cthulhu|Call of Cthulhu]]
|-
| Steven Spielberg||Quentin Tarantino
|-
| The West Wing || House of Cards
|-
| Special Unit 2 || [[Delta Green]]
|-
| [[Star Trek]] (in general) || Babylon 5 (closer to Nobledark)
|-
|[[Star Trek]] (in general) || [[Star Trek]] Picard (or even Discovery)
|-
| Star Trek: Voyager || [[Red Dwarf]]
|-
| Andromeda Ascendant || Farscape
|-
| Stargate SG-1 || The First Wave
|-
| Firefly (maybe not, see Discussion) || Blake's 7
|-
| Battlestar Galactica (1978) || Battlestar Galactica (2004)
|-
| Temeraire Series || [[A Song of Ice and Fire|Game of Thrones]]
|-
| Robocop || Judge Dredd
|-
| Code Lyoko || ReBoot
|-
| ReBoot || .hack
|-
| .hack || Sword Art Online
|-
| Previous season of Sword Art Online || Next season of Sword Art Online
|-
| [[Rogue Trader (RPG)|Rogue Trader]] || [[Dark Heresy]]
|-
| Osamu Tezuka || Go Nagai
|-
| The Wizard of Oz || Soul Eater
|-
| MACROSS (Robotech) || Mobile Suit Gundam
|-
| Mobile Suit Gundam || Neon Genesis Evangelion
|-
| Neon Genesis Evangelion || Bokurano
|-
| [[7th Sea]] || [[Poison'd]]
|-
| Zoids || Gundam
|-
| [[Spirit of the Century]] || [[Don't Rest Your Head]]
|-
| [[Traveller]] || [[Eclipse Phase]]
|-
| [[Dragonlance]] || [[Dark Sun]]
|-
| [[Avatar: The Last Airbender|Avatar]] (not [[Avatar|Cameron's furfic)]] || Kaze no Stigma
|-
| [[Warcraft]] || [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle|Warhammer Fantasy Battle]]
|-
| [[Magic the gathering|Alara]], [[Theros]], [[Lorwyn]] || [[Innistrad]], [[Phyrexia|New Phyrexia]], [[Shadowmoor]]
|-
| [[Neverwinter Nights]] || Dragon Age
|-
| [[The Elder Scrolls]]<br>(Well, somewhat, if you ignore Kirkbride's EU-thing) || Gothic
|-
| Final Fantasy || Megami Tensei
|-
| Persona || Shin Megami Tensei
|-
| Guin Saga || Berserk (more Nobledark)
|-
| Forts || REDCON
|-
| Persona 4 & 5 || Persona 3
|-
| Red Alert 3 || Red Alert 2
|-
| Red Alert 2 || Red Alert
|-
| Wolfenstein || MachineGames Wolfenstein games
|-
| [[Command and Conquer]]: Red Alert series || [[Command and Conquer]]: Tiberium series
|-
| Animorphs || Terraformars
|-
| Fate/Stay Night || Fate/Zero
|-
| [[Starcraft]] II || [[Starcraft|Starcraft: Brood War]]
|-
| [[Diablo]] III || [[Diablo]] I & II
|-
| Grand Theft Auto 1 || Saints Row 1
|-
| Saints Row 3 || Grand Theft Auto 4
|-
| Fable III || Dark Souls
|-
| Cowboy Bebop|| Black Lagoon
|-
| Undertale || LISA
|-
| Kid Icarus || God of War
|-
| God of War 2018 || pre-2018 God of War
|-
| Mass Effect 1 || Mass Effect 3
|-
| Mass Effect universe || [[Setting:Halo|Halo universe]]
|-
| [[Setting:Halo|Halo universe]] || Dead Space universe
|-
| Dead Space Trilogy || Halo: Forerunner Trilogy
|-
| Spore || Darkspore
|-
| Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann || Getter Robo Armageddon
|-
| Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann || Kill la Kill
|-
| Rebuild of Evangelion (Well, Zig-zags between the two) || Neon Genesis Evangelion
|-
| Neo-Hunter Casshern || Casshern Sins
|-
| Dragon Ball || Hunter X Hunter
|-
| Mai-Otome || Mai-Hime (last 10 episodes at least)
|-
| Cardcaptor Sakura || Puella Magi Madoka Magica
|-
| Puella Magi Madoka Magica || Magical Girl Site
|-
| Power Rangers in General || Power Rangers RPM
|-
| Super Sentai || Kamen Rider (especially the Showa Era ones)
|-
| Kamen Rider (most Heisei Era ones) || GARO
|-
| Batman: the Brave & the Bold || Batman: TAS (first two seasons only)
|-
| [[Star Wars RPG|Star Wars Episode I, IV, VI,<br>Star Wars: The Clone Wars Movie and Season 1,<br>and a decent portion of the Expanded Universe]] || [[Star Wars D20|Star Wars Episode II, III, V, VII,<br>Star Wars: The Clone Wars from Season 2 onwards,<br>and the other half the Expanded Universe, especially The New Jedi Order and Legacy]]
|-
| Little House on the Prairie || Deadwood
|-
| Full House || Married With Children
|-
| The Green Zone || The Hurt Locker
|-
| The Sarah Jane Adventures || [[Doctor Who|Torchwood]]
|-
| ''Pirates of the Caribbean'' || ''Black sails''
|-
| ''Assassins Creed IV: Black Flag'' || ''Risen 2: Dark Waters''
|-
| Justice League || Watchmen
|-
| Castlevania || Buffy: The Vampire Slayer
|-
| ''Lois and Clark'' or the 80's Superman Movies || ''Man of Steel''
|-
| ''Planetary'' || ''The Authority''
|-
| Cyanide and Happiness || [http://picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=132 pictures for sad children]
|-
| The Silver Age of Comic Books || The Dark Age of Comic Books
|-
| [[Steampunk|Steampunk Genre]] || [[Cyberpunk|Cyberpunk Genre]]
|-
| Raspberry Pi || OpenPandora
|-
| South Korea || <s>North</s> BEST Korea
|-
| [[Discworld]] || [[A Song of Ice and Fire]]
|-
| A Wizard of Earthsea || The Tombs of Atuan
|-
| Guilty Gear || BlazBlue
|-
| Mega Man (Classic, Legends, Battle Network,<br>ZX, Star Forces 1 and 2)|| Mega Man (X, Zero, Star Force 3,), The Protomen
|-
| The Chronicles of Narnia|| His Dark Materials
|-
| Anthem || Halo
|-
| Halo || Half-Life 2
|-
| Half-Life 2 || Resistance
|-
| Resistance || Gears of War (The first game especially)
|-
| Gears of War || Killzone
|-
| Just Cause 2 || Spec Ops: The Line
|-
| Plants VS Zombies || The Last of Us
|-
| The Last of Us || The Last of Us Part 2 (10% Grimdark, 90% [[Grimderp]])
|-
| Mirror's Edge || Assassin's Creed
|-
| Iron Kingdoms MKii || Iron Kingdoms MKi
|-
| Marvel Comics films || [[Grimdark#Grimderp|DC Universe films]]
|-
| DC comics || Marvel comics
|-
| Buffy the Vampire Slayer || Hellsing (any medium)
|-
| Hellsing (2001 series) || Hellsing (manga and OVA)
|-
| Marvel comics || Watchmen comics
|-
| Watchmen comics || Wanted comics
|-
| Warehouse 13 || The [[SCP Foundation]]
|-
| [[Eberron]] || [[Dragonmech]]
|-
| [[Planescape]] || [[Ravenloft]]
|-
| [[Wilderlands of High Fantasy]]|| | [[Forgotten Realms]]
|-
| InFamous || Prototype
|-
| Harry Potter 1-3 || Harry Potter 4-7 (ESPECIALLY 7th)
|-
| Deus Ex 1-2 || System Shock 1-2
|-
| RoboCop || Terminator
|-
| Homeworld 1 and 2 || Homeworld: Cataclysm<br>(when the Beast make their first appearance)
|-
| [[Fist of the North Star]] || Violence Jack
|-
| The Simpsons || South Park
|-
| The Glaive || Conan the Barbarian
|-
| The Hobbit || The Children of Hurin
|-
| Chivalric Romances || Icelandic Sagas
|-
| American Revolution || Vietnam War
|-
| [[Mordheim]] || [[Malifaux]]
|-
| Civilization:Beyond Earth || [[Alpha Centauri]]
|-
| [[The New Testament]] || [[The Old Testament]]
|-
| Overwatch || [[Team Fortress 2]] (Especially Mann vs. Machine)
|-
| [[Team Fortress 2]] || Team Fortress Classic
|-
| Ghostbusters films and Real Ghostbusters || | Extreme Ghostbusters
|-
| Metal Gear (in general) || | Metal Gear Solid V
|-
| Girls und Panzer || Panzerfraulein Alteseisen
|-
| Far Cry 1 || | Far Cry 2 and 3
|-
| Overstrike || | Fuse
|-
| Pokemon Franchise || | Digimon Franchise
|-
| Digimon Adventure || | Digimon Tamers
|-
| Digimon Tamers || Shadow Star Narutaru
|-
| Bakugan || Kiba
|-
| [[Fallout]] series || | S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series
|-
| S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series || | Metro 2033 and Metro Last Light
|-
| Metro 2033 and Metro Last Light || | Metro 2033 (novel), Metro 2034 (novel),<br>and Metro 2035 (novel)
|-
|[[Approved anime|Slayers]] || | Bastard!!
|-
| Fast And Furious || | Death Race
|-
| Death Race || | Mad Max
|-
| Dracula || | Underworld
|-
| Y:the last man || | Children of men
|-
| Battlefield Bad Company || | Call of Duty Modern Warfare trilogy
|-
| Call of Duty Modern Warfare trilogy || | Call of Duty Black Ops III
|-
| Dead Rising series || | Left 4 Dead series
|-
| Left 4 Dead series || | Dead Island series
|-
| Dead Island series || | World War Z movie
|-
| World War Z Movie || | World War Z novel
|-
| World War Z Novel || | The Walking Dead comics
|-
| Super Robot anime|| | Real Robot anime
|-
| Real Robot anime|| | WAT Robot anime
|-
| The Go-Betweens|| | The Birthday Party/Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
|-
| League of Legends|| | Dota 2
|-
| Rome: Total War|| | Total War: Attila
|-
| Freespace || | Freespace 2
|-
| Street Fighter franchise || | Mortal Kombat franchise
|-
| Star Wars Jedi: Outcast duology || | Star Wars: Battlefront 1 & 2 (2000's)
|-
| Minecraft || | 7 Days to Die
|-
| Blood Diamond || | Lord of War
|-
| Naoki Urusawa's Monster || ERASED
|-
| Casa de mi Padre || | Sicario
|-
| GammaWorld || | The Mutant Epoch
|-
| Konosuba || Re:Zero
|-
| Log Horizon || Overlord
|-
| Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? || [[Goblin Slayer]]
|-
| This Means War || Savages
|-
| Brave New World (more like GrimBright, really) || [[1984]]
|-
| Sailor Moon (old censored american dub) || Sailor Moon (original version)
|-
| Sailor Moon (original version) || Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
|-
| Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon || Revolutionary Girl Utena
|-
| Revolutionary Girl Utena || Puella Magi Madoka Magica
|-
| Egan's Diaspora || | Dukaj's Perfect Imperfection
|-
| Touhou Project || Crimzon Clover
|-
| Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet, and White Lantern Corps || Red, Orange, Yellow, Black, and Ultraviolet Lantern Corps
|-
| Pod Save America || Chapo Trap House
|-
| Chapo Trap House || The Daily Shoah
|-
| Jimmy Neutron, Back to the Future || Rick and Morty
|-
| World War II: Western Front || World War II: Eastern Front
|-
| World War II: Eastern Front || World War II: Pacific Theatre
|-
| World War II: Pacific Theatre || World War I: Western Front
|-
| World War II: French Resistance || World War II: Polish Resistance
|-
| Pork Chop Hill || Tae-Guk-Gi
|-
| [[Death Korps of Krieg]] || [[Xeelee_Sequence#Interim_Coalition_of_Governance|Interim Coalition of Governance]]
|-
| Parasyte || Devilman
|-
| Disney Channel || Cartoon Network
|-
| Cartoon Network || Toonami
|-
| Toonami || Adult Swim
|-
| E.T. || IT
|-
| Homo faber || Lolita
|-
| Maple Story || Made in Abyss
|-
| Ready Player One || 20th Century Boys
|-
| My Hero Academia || ONE PUNCH MAN (more like Grimbright, really)
|-
| Grand Theft Auto || Mafia
|-
| [[Superman | Metropolis]] || [[Batman | Gotham City]]
|-
| Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy. || Jak 2 and later
|-
| Axis Powers Hetalia || Polandball
|-
| Soren Kierkegaard || Friedrich Nietzsche
|-
| John Stuart Mill || David Benatar
|-
| Noam Chomsky || Michel Foucault
|-
| Thomas Aquinas || Augustine of Hippo
|-
| Jean-Jacques Rousseau || Thomas Hobbes
|-
| Thomas Hobbes || Friedrich Nietzsche
|-
| Friedrich Nietzsche (before Thus Spoke Zarathustra) || Friedrich Nietzsche (after Thus Spoke Zarathustra)
|-
| Friedrich Nietzsche || Mark Twain (Best example being the Mysterious Stranger)
|-
| Arthur Schopenhauer || Emil Cioran
|-
| Classical Philosophy (e.g. Virtue Ethics, Stoicism) || Contemporary Philosophy (e.g. Existentialism, Postmodernism)
|-
| Jean-Paul Sartre || Albert Camus
|-
| The American Revolution || The French Revolution
|-
| The French Revolution || The Russian Revolution
|-
| The Settlers || Civilization
|-
| Civilization || Tropico (Can be Grimbright if you are a "benevolent" dictator)
|-
| Sgt. Frog || Invader Zim
|-
| Adventure Time || Tigtone
|-
| [[Furry|Zootopia]] || [[Furry|Beastars]] (actually closer to Nobledark)
|-
| [[Furry|Beastars]] || [[Furry|Kevin and Kell]] (The setting, but not the story)
|-
| I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream (the video game) || I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream (the book)
|-
| Stellaris (when you play Egalitarian, Xenophile or Federation Builder) || Stellaris (whenever you play [[Imperium of Man|Xenophobe/Fanatic Purifier]] or [[Fall of the Eldar|Psionic Ascension]])
|-
| Care Bears || Happy Tree Friends
|-
| Kid vs Kat || Mr. Pickles
|-
| Power Metal || Thrash Metal
|-
| Thrash Metal || Death Metal
|-
| Death Metal || Black Metal
|-
| Black Metal || Doom Metal/Sludge
|-
| 2019 || 2020
|-
| 2020 || 2021
|-
|}

</center>

[[Category:Gamer Slang]]

Noblebright

2021-02-13T14:20:29Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* 8chan Explanation of the Grim/Noble and Dark/Bright Spectrum (by anons) */

{{topquote|Why does the third of the three brothers, who shares his food with the old woman in the woods, go on to become king of the country? Why does James Bond manage to disarm the nuclear bomb a few seconds before it goes off rather than, as it were, a few seconds afterwards? Because a universe where that did not happen would be a dark and hostile place. Let there be goblin hordes, let there be terrible environmental threats, let there be giant mutated slugs if you really must, but let there also be hope. It may be a grim, thin hope, an Arthurian sword at sunset, but let us know that we do not live in vain.|Sir Terry Pratchett, “Let There Be Dragons” (A Slip of the Keyboard)}}

'''NobleBright''' is an adjective derived from the term often used to describe Warhammer 40k: [[Grimdark|Grimdark]]. Just as every hero has a "mirror opposite" version that is evil, it's supposed that there must be a mirror opposite version of the heroes of WH40k where everything goes RIGHT. It can also be used to describe artwork that has a noble/bright feel, even if the setting itself would not normally be considered noble or bright.

Where the GrimDark tag usually describes a setting in a slow, painful decline, the NobleBright tag usually describes a setting emerging from a dark age and either returning to or in the midst of a golden age.

== Example: WarHammer vs. BrightHammer ==

''"We do not need a Warmaster in this age. A Warmaster would fail us. We need a DADDY."'' - [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Custodes showing their appreciation to Captain-General Kitten]]

This alternate universe setting, [[BrightHammer40k]], comes with the tagline ''"In the Noble Brightness of the far future, there is only HIGH ADVENTURE!"'' This is as opposed to the original tagline of Warhammer 40k, which stated, "In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war." BrightHammer40k's setting has strong 1920s-1940s pulp fiction themes, crossed with an "age of myth" bronze age culture.

Differences between WarHammer 40k and BrightHammer 40k include:
* The setting is loosely divided into city-states united by race, religion, philosophy or just simple common sense, rather than singular empires defined by paranoia.
* There is a wide variety in the type of characters, nations, flora and fauna, and major characters in the setting.
* Speaking of wide varieties of characters/nations, relations between different groups, whether cultural, political, racial, etc. are usually positive. Conflicts are either out of just cause or have the option of being resolved peacefully. (Unlike Grimdark, in which "conflict resolution" is usually [[Exterminatus|genocide]])
* There is an overall "pulp fiction" feel. Just like real life.
* The universe is old, in the process of rediscovering a forgotten golden age.
* Low level conflicts such as raiding are considered common, but war is not. Just like Mongolia.
* When a Noblebright universe has a war, it's usually for a well defined, just cause. Wars are usually fought with "smart" technology, and massive, endless slaughters are rare. (Grimdark usually devolves technology in some form, then throws in massive slaughters for the fun of it)
* Technology is wildly inconsistent. Just like Alaska.
* Villains are over the top, campy, and rarely played seriously. Very much like North Korea.
* Leaders are usually diplomats or wise "philosopher-kings" like in North Korea.
* Heroes do most of the heavy lifting in society, and there are heroes, great and minor, at every level of society.
* There is a strong emphasis on individual strength. (Grimdark focuses on the massed collective. Individual strength is insignificant in the enormous Grimdarkian Machine)
* Good guys can be jerks, but are still good guys.
* Over-the-top heroism usually carries the day.
* Obvious, thinly disguised Secret Agents everywhere.
* The setting is entering a technological renaissance.
* Everything is bright or vividly colored.
* As seen on TV!

Compared to Warhammer40k, Brighthammer40k is generally brighter and a nicer place to live, but is by no means peaceful, always in a low level state of conflict, internal and external, never quite turning into war. The skull motif is replaced by wings, and colors are often brighter.

==[[MidHammer 40,000]]==
Strikes a balance between Noblebright and Grimdark. Basically, you don't matter much, but if mankind can put their back into it hard enough, it'll turn out okay in the end:
*Big E is alive, and regenerating.

*Primarchs still exist

*There is hope for a better future. Even if you don't live to see it, your children may well.

*While the AdMech got buttfucked twice, it's slowly getting it back together.

==TL;DR of the Spectrum==

* <big>'''Grim/Noble'''</big> = whether the ''future'' prospects of the setting looks positive/negative, and whether anybody can accomplish anything significant for good or evil. Hope vs. despair.
* <big>'''Bright/Dark'''</big> = determines the ''current'' state of things. Is it generally a good place to live or a bad one?

==8chan Explanation of the Grim/Noble and Dark/Bright Spectrum (by anons)==
[[File:Alignments.jpg|300px|thumb|An [[alignment]] chart.]]
Grim/Noble asks whether there are heroes that exist, may appear to change the world for good or ill.
* A noble setting isn't one where everyone is good, more like one where people are active. The actions of a single hero can change the world, and a single big villain can ruin it: there are important people, who are so either by birth, rank or sheer willpower, and every single one of these people MATTER.
* In a grim world, no matter what you do, an individual can't secure more than an individual victory, if even that, because the rest of the world is too big/scared/powerless/selfish to act upon his impulse.
Something like Morrowind or Berserk is noble (bright and dark, respectively) because it is about one man forcing destiny's hand and changing the world.
* Now, a bright world is one full of opportunity, of wondrous sights to behold. It doesn't mean that it has to be MLP, it can be dangerous, but your first instinct when looking at a new location should be awe and wonder: people may adventure to save the world, but they leave town with a smile upon their face, eager to see what comes next. The shadow of Risk is largely erased by the glint of Adventure. In a bright world, it's quite possible for people to go on adventure just for the hell of it, since the journey is its own reward. Resurrection, or at least means to heal grave injuries, is usually accessible, to counterbalance the fact that the risks out there are real.
* A dark world is one where life sucks, and on top of the usual hazards, something or someone is poised to kill everybody else in the story; whether it be demon overlords, 'nids, or even the lack of water, if this threat has its way everyone dies and they die for good. If you lose an arm, you play a cripple. In the extreme cases, even when you win a fight, your career is over (i.e. gangrene). This means that, even though people may be ready to help (noble), they'll need a damn good reason to do so, since stepping out of line is so dangerous (dark).
Given is an example of each type of setting to show how the combinations of noble/grim and bright/dark work;
*40k is (grim)dark because, no matter where you go, there is only war, and heroism's only reward is usually a notch on a gun or a corpse in a trench. No matter who you are, most of the galaxy probably wants you dead, and staying home today is the best choice you can make. Even if you make it to the end, you may have to sacrifice everything to save everyone, if you haven't already done so.
* Berserk is (noble)dark because, while there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel, it takes men and women of insane willpower to get there: no matter whether you are big or small, even when you have nothing, the only thing that may save the world is the will within you screaming, "Go on!" And if hope was to fail, you're getting a book-long bloodbath-orgy, and all its consequences.
* Morrowind is (noble)bright because, even though the world is fraught with dangers, you can fix everything. The reason it isn't dark is because there is so much to see, so many interesting people to meet, so many cool things to experience that, at the end of the road, you'd do it all over again if given the chance to see it once again with virgin eyes.
* Sandman is (grim)bright because the incredible vistas and interesting people are all that can distract Dream from the dullness of his existence. He will tire of them all, but even he has to admit that he saw some cool shit. Also, notice how the relative freedom from consequences (people can get somewhat rezzed/healed/characters don't die much), a bright trait, reinforces the futility of the struggle in a grim world.

In short, grimdark and noblebright worlds both exist, and both are interesting to play in. So do grimbright (perhaps these are the most narratively counterintuitive and hardest to pull off, but simultaneously they can be the most interesting worlds to run in) and nobledark (seems to be enjoying a big surge in popularity these days - people like the aesthetics and adult nature of dark worlds, but not the crushing nihilism; in nobledark, most things suck, those rare moments of genuine nobility and decent change are all the more poignant, even if they come at great cost). Every type allows for evil and struggles to exist, and for stories to be told. Noblebright is not (usually) utopian or down to shiny, pleasant aesthetics (after all Adventure Time looks textbook Noblebright but is actually sugarcoated Grimdark) and evil can even triumph: it's less of a matter of who wins, and more of a matter of tone. In a bright world, the BBEG can win, but he won't skullfuck to death everyone the PCs know in front of a crowd without the mood turning to dark.

Some examples of each:

Grimdark:
* Warhammer, both kinds - Warhammer 40000 coined the term Grimdark from its tagline, so goes without saying.
* [[A Song of Ice and Fire|A Song of Ice and Fire / Game of Thrones]]
* Star Wars, if you leave out the "good vs. evil space fantasy" factor and consider that millions, if not billions die simply because of the will of some omnipresent force, in this case, the Force.
* Oedipus
* E.Y.E Divine Cybermancy
* Gears of War - Basically a world in which humanity has been at war with itself and genocidal mutants for over a century. The world is apocalyptic and everyone uses chainsaw bayonets to saw their enemies in half.
* Killzone 2-3 - If Space World War Two met Gears of War, Killzone is the product: A genocidal war between humanity and a mutated version of them on a wasteland planet. Both sides commit war crimes incessantly.
* The MachineGames Wolfenstein series - It's 1960, Jim, but not as we know it. The [[Nazis]] used crazy super-technology to win World War II and grind the Free World into dust by 1947. The games pull no punches in its depictions of the Nazis' ideology and the kind of waking nightmare they would turn the world into if they were free to reshape it as they saw fit.
* [[Dark Souls]]
* [[Conan the Barbarian]] - Takes place in a fictional time period after the sinking of Atlantis but before the historical record began. There are monsters and villains everywhere, all magic is black, and the few cities are run by maniacal sorcerers and other unsavoury types. Conan usually only barely survives his stories through wit and dumb luck rather than might, and he certainly cannot change the world, not at least until he becomes the good king of Aquilonia.
* [[Dark Sun]]
* [[Ravenloft]]
* [[Delta Green]] - Earth and mankind exist in a tiny flickering firelight of sanity and civilisation that can (and inevitably will) be snuffed out by alien gods and forces of madness. You play as the clandestine agents of the US government tasked to investigate and combat this phenomena. Few people in Delta Green live to retire, and the most common retirement plan usually involves a bottle of whiskey and their service pistol.
* [[Dwarf Fortress]]
* [[1984|Nineteen Eighty Four]] / I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream / [[Xeelee Sequence]] - All three are strong contenders for the most Grimdark story ever put to paper, experts are currently divided. The first takes place in a (possibly) post-apocalyptic Earth split between three totalitarian superpowers that are constantly at war despite sharing the same nihilistic ideology, and the hero is an ordinary man who gets captured, tortured and thoroughly mindfucked by the police into accepting the rule of the Party. The second takes place in a post-apocalyptic underworld city where a psychotic supercomputer tortures the last four living people and brings them back to life if they try to kill themselves; the protagonist "wins" by mercy-killing the other three but his moral victory is tempered by the fact he is trapped forever at the mercy of the machine. The third takes place in a nightmare hellscape where the entire universe is dying between a cosmic war of two god-like races, whilst the human race has degenerated to such levels of bastardry, that the actions of stripmining entire galactic superclusters or committing a xenocidal killing-spree across the universe that stretched for millions of years is a mere dip in the ocean. There is no hope or salvation, heroism is not only dead but outright outlawed, absolute surveillance and total control due to mass time-travel usage, as an incalculable amount of human child soldiers would die for nothing. Meanwhile the surviving races are fighting tooth and nail, killing each other as they are trying to escape a reality that is collapsing in on itself.

Grimbright:
* Sandman
* The Sims - Pretty self-explanatory. The world is generally nice to live in and stories are more about your Sims' living one day at a time than anything else.
* Most Tycoon games
* Mass Effect
* The Commonwealth Saga
* [[Eclipse Phase]]
* The Culture - Futuristic novel series by Iain M. Banks, set in a utopian society based on socialist and anarchist principles achieved by post-scarcity technology ([[Eldar|space hippies whose words are backed by star-system busters]], this lot are probably the only fictional sci-fi civilization that would beat the Imperium hands-down in a war). The protagonists are usually Special Circumstances, agents of the closest thing they have to an intelligence division given license to operate outside of their laws and morals to uphold the Culture way of life.
* Deltarune
* [[Scarred Lands]]
* [[Spelljammer]]
* RWBY - The result of Sailor Moon and [[Dark Souls|Bloodborne]] having a drunk fling, it subsists on a steady diet of Rule of Cool. You take four cute teenage heroines and watch as the grim, behind-the-scenes reality of their glamourous high adventure world beans them over the head repeatedly. Because they are just rookies who don't matter much in the grand scheme of things. Then they come back with a vengeance and it becomes pure Noblebright instead.
* Doctor Who - It's a time travel show where the protagonist is a millennia-old alien who has seen and done some truly incredible shit in his time, but cannot overtly alter the flow of history or even build close relations with his human companions. He just saves the day and goes off to another planet.
* Most of Zeus' flings with mortals (from the gods' perspective)

Nobledark:
* [[The Lord of the Rings]] - If Warhammer is the platonic ideal of Grimdark, LOTR is the platonic ideal of Nobledark.
* Mass Effect - A universe where there are millions of heroes, and of course, Reaper Grimdark.
* Berserk
* [[Eberron]]
* Starcraft
* Terminator - "No fate but what we make".
* Fallout - Especially New Vegas, oh boy, New Vegas. The Independence ending is basically the story of how a wasteland courier dug their way out of their own grave and brought down two post-apocalyptic superpowers through sheer force of will and character.
* The Iliad
* Skyrim
* Firefly
* Most Batman stories - Yes, Gotham sucks and yes, Batman is a dark character, but he is also a deeply idealistic hero (refuses to kill, believes in the inherent good of people and the human spirit). Which is why putting Batman in Grimdark tends to really not work.
* Warhammer novels like [[Ciaphas Cain]] and Gaunt's Ghosts. Especially ones where the protagonists are ordinary people like the [[Imperial Guard]] rather than the superhuman, galaxy-bestriding Space Marines.
* [[Exalted]] - Encapsulates the nobledark spirit for RPGs. "The world sucks. You have the power to fix it. Try not to fuck it up worse."

Noblebright:
* The Chronicles of Narnia
* Morrowind
* [[Forgotten Realms]]
* [[Greyhawk]]
* Magi
* Warcraft
* Star Wars
* Pokemon
* Trine
* Most Marvel movies, except the one that is really infamous for not being this
* The Odyssey
* And of course, Star Trek - The platonic ideal of Noblebright.

== More examples of works and their ranking ==

Please be aware that the following list is a product of many different [[Fa/tg/uys|Fa/tg/uys]] personal [[Skub|opinions]].
[[Image:Helghan Revolution.jpg|thumb|right|Noblebright struggles have heroic sacrifices, copious amounts of bravery, and a just cause to fight for.]] [[Image:Killzone Rise From Ruin.jpg|thumb|right|Grimdark wars are usually directionless, brutal, and the reasons for fighting are very obscure (When there is one, it's usually thrown away in the face of reality).]]

<center>
{|border=1 cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0
|- align=left
! NobleBright
! ...and GrimDark
|-
| [[Brighthammer_40,000_(2nd_edition)|BrightHammer 40k]] OR [[Age of Sigmar]] || [[Warhammer_40,000|WarHammer 40k]]
|-
| [[Warhammer_40,000|WarHammer 40k]] 8th ED, but more like Nobledark || [[Warhammer_40,000|WarHammer 40k]] 3rd Edition or Age of Sigmar 2nd Edition<br>(sorta. Could be considered approaching Noblebright->Dark)
|-
| Entire Warhammer Franchise (Both 40k and Fantasy/AoS) || [[Xeelee Sequence|Xeelee universe]]
|-
| [[Exalted]] (Well, Zig-zags between the two) || [[Vampire:_The_Masquerade|Vampire:tM]], [[Werewolf:_The_Apocalypse|Werewolf:tA]] ([[oWoD]])
|-
| [[Changeling:_The_Dreaming|Changeling:tD]] ([[oWoD]]) || [[Changeling:_The_Lost|Changeling:tL]] ([[nWoD]])
|-
|[[Geist: The Sin-Eaters]] ([[nWoD]]) ||[[ Wraith: The Oblivion]] ([[oWoD]])
|-
|[[D20_Modern|D20 Modern]] || [[Call_of_Cthulhu|Call of Cthulhu]]
|-
| Steven Spielberg||Quentin Tarantino
|-
| The West Wing || House of Cards
|-
| Special Unit 2 || [[Delta Green]]
|-
| [[Star Trek]] (in general) || Babylon 5 (closer to Nobledark)
|-
|[[Star Trek]] (in general) || [[Star Trek]] Picard (or even Discovery)
|-
| Star Trek: Voyager || [[Red Dwarf]]
|-
| Andromeda Ascendant || Farscape
|-
| Stargate SG-1 || The First Wave
|-
| Firefly (maybe not, see Discussion) || Blake's 7
|-
| Battlestar Galactica (1978) || Battlestar Galactica (2004)
|-
| Temeraire Series || [[A Song of Ice and Fire|Game of Thrones]]
|-
| Robocop || Judge Dredd
|-
| Code Lyoko || ReBoot
|-
| ReBoot || .hack
|-
| .hack || Sword Art Online
|-
| Previous season of Sword Art Online || Next season of Sword Art Online
|-
| [[Rogue Trader (RPG)|Rogue Trader]] || [[Dark Heresy]]
|-
| Osamu Tezuka || Go Nagai
|-
| The Wizard of Oz || Soul Eater
|-
| MACROSS (Robotech) || Mobile Suit Gundam
|-
| Mobile Suit Gundam || Neon Genesis Evangelion
|-
| Neon Genesis Evangelion || Bokurano
|-
| [[7th Sea]] || [[Poison'd]]
|-
| Zoids || Gundam
|-
| [[Spirit of the Century]] || [[Don't Rest Your Head]]
|-
| [[Traveller]] || [[Eclipse Phase]]
|-
| [[Dragonlance]] || [[Dark Sun]]
|-
| [[Avatar: The Last Airbender|Avatar]] (not [[Avatar|Cameron's furfic)]] || Kaze no Stigma
|-
| [[Warcraft]] || [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle|Warhammer Fantasy Battle]]
|-
| [[Magic the gathering|Alara]], [[Theros]], [[Lorwyn]] || [[Innistrad]], [[Phyrexia|New Phyrexia]], [[Shadowmoor]]
|-
| [[Neverwinter Nights]] || Dragon Age
|-
| [[The Elder Scrolls]]<br>(Well, somewhat, if you ignore Kirkbride's EU-thing) || Gothic
|-
| Final Fantasy || Megami Tensei
|-
| Persona || Shin Megami Tensei
|-
| Guin Saga || Berserk (more Nobledark)
|-
| Forts || REDCON
|-
| Persona 4 & 5 || Persona 3
|-
| Red Alert 3 || Red Alert 2
|-
| Red Alert 2 || Red Alert
|-
| Wolfenstein || MachineGames Wolfenstein games
|-
| [[Command and Conquer]]: Red Alert series || [[Command and Conquer]]: Tiberium series
|-
| Animorphs || Terraformars
|-
| Fate/Stay Night || Fate/Zero
|-
| [[Starcraft]] II || [[Starcraft|Starcraft: Brood War]]
|-
| [[Diablo]] III || [[Diablo]] I & II
|-
| Grand Theft Auto 1 || Saints Row 1
|-
| Saints Row 3 || Grand Theft Auto 4
|-
| Fable III || Dark Souls
|-
| Cowboy Bebop|| Black Lagoon
|-
| Undertale || LISA
|-
| Kid Icarus || God of War
|-
| God of War 2018 || pre-2018 God of War
|-
| Mass Effect 1 || Mass Effect 3
|-
| Mass Effect universe || [[Setting:Halo|Halo universe]]
|-
| [[Setting:Halo|Halo universe]] || Dead Space universe
|-
| Dead Space Trilogy || Halo: Forerunner Trilogy
|-
| Spore || Darkspore
|-
| Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann || Getter Robo Armageddon
|-
| Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann || Kill la Kill
|-
| Rebuild of Evangelion (Well, Zig-zags between the two) || Neon Genesis Evangelion
|-
| Neo-Hunter Casshern || Casshern Sins
|-
| Dragon Ball || Hunter X Hunter
|-
| Mai-Otome || Mai-Hime (last 10 episodes at least)
|-
| Cardcaptor Sakura || Puella Magi Madoka Magica
|-
| Puella Magi Madoka Magica || Magical Girl Site
|-
| Power Rangers in General || Power Rangers RPM
|-
| Super Sentai || Kamen Rider (especially the Showa Era ones)
|-
| Kamen Rider (most Heisei Era ones) || GARO
|-
| Batman: the Brave & the Bold || Batman: TAS (first two seasons only)
|-
| [[Star Wars RPG|Star Wars Episode I, IV, VI,<br>Star Wars: The Clone Wars Movie and Season 1,<br>and a decent portion of the Expanded Universe]] || [[Star Wars D20|Star Wars Episode II, III, V, VII,<br>Star Wars: The Clone Wars from Season 2 onwards,<br>and the other half the Expanded Universe, especially The New Jedi Order and Legacy]]
|-
| Little House on the Prairie || Deadwood
|-
| Full House || Married With Children
|-
| The Green Zone || The Hurt Locker
|-
| The Sarah Jane Adventures || [[Doctor Who|Torchwood]]
|-
| ''Pirates of the Caribbean'' || ''Black sails''
|-
| ''Assassins Creed IV: Black Flag'' || ''Risen 2: Dark Waters''
|-
| Justice League || Watchmen
|-
| Castlevania || Buffy: The Vampire Slayer
|-
| ''Lois and Clark'' or the 80's Superman Movies || ''Man of Steel''
|-
| ''Planetary'' || ''The Authority''
|-
| Cyanide and Happiness || [http://picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=132 pictures for sad children]
|-
| The Silver Age of Comic Books || The Dark Age of Comic Books
|-
| [[Steampunk|Steampunk Genre]] || [[Cyberpunk|Cyberpunk Genre]]
|-
| Raspberry Pi || OpenPandora
|-
| South Korea || <s>North</s> BEST Korea
|-
| [[Discworld]] || [[A Song of Ice and Fire]]
|-
| A Wizard of Earthsea || The Tombs of Atuan
|-
| Guilty Gear || BlazBlue
|-
| Mega Man (Classic, Legends, Battle Network,<br>ZX, Star Forces 1 and 2)|| Mega Man (X, Zero, Star Force 3,), The Protomen
|-
| The Chronicles of Narnia|| His Dark Materials
|-
| Anthem || Halo
|-
| Halo || Half-Life 2
|-
| Half-Life 2 || Resistance
|-
| Resistance || Gears of War (The first game especially)
|-
| Gears of War || Killzone
|-
| Just Cause 2 || Spec Ops: The Line
|-
| Plants VS Zombies || The Last of Us
|-
| The Last of Us || The Last of Us Part 2 (10% Grimdark, 90% [[Grimderp]])
|-
| Mirror's Edge || Assassin's Creed
|-
| Iron Kingdoms MKii || Iron Kingdoms MKi
|-
| Marvel Comics films || [[Grimdark#Grimderp|DC Universe films]]
|-
| DC comics || Marvel comics
|-
| Buffy the Vampire Slayer || Hellsing (any medium)
|-
| Hellsing (2001 series) || Hellsing (manga and OVA)
|-
| Marvel comics || Watchmen comics
|-
| Watchmen comics || Wanted comics
|-
| Warehouse 13 || The [[SCP Foundation]]
|-
| [[Eberron]] || [[Dragonmech]]
|-
| [[Planescape]] || [[Ravenloft]]
|-
| [[Wilderlands of High Fantasy]]|| | [[Forgotten Realms]]
|-
| InFamous || Prototype
|-
| Harry Potter 1-3 || Harry Potter 4-7 (ESPECIALLY 7th)
|-
| Deus Ex 1-2 || System Shock 1-2
|-
| RoboCop || Terminator
|-
| Homeworld 1 and 2 || Homeworld: Cataclysm<br>(when the Beast make their first appearance)
|-
| [[Fist of the North Star]] || Violence Jack
|-
| The Simpsons || South Park
|-
| The Glaive || Conan the Barbarian
|-
| The Hobbit || The Children of Hurin
|-
| Chivalric Romances || Icelandic Sagas
|-
| American Revolution || Vietnam War
|-
| [[Mordheim]] || [[Malifaux]]
|-
| Civilization:Beyond Earth || [[Alpha Centauri]]
|-
| [[The New Testament]] || [[The Old Testament]]
|-
| Overwatch || [[Team Fortress 2]] (Especially Mann vs. Machine)
|-
| [[Team Fortress 2]] || Team Fortress Classic
|-
| Ghostbusters films and Real Ghostbusters || | Extreme Ghostbusters
|-
| Metal Gear (in general) || | Metal Gear Solid V
|-
| Girls und Panzer || Panzerfraulein Alteseisen
|-
| Far Cry 1 || | Far Cry 2 and 3
|-
| Overstrike || | Fuse
|-
| Pokemon Franchise || | Digimon Franchise
|-
| Digimon Adventure || | Digimon Tamers
|-
| Digimon Tamers || Shadow Star Narutaru
|-
| Bakugan || Kiba
|-
| [[Fallout]] series || | S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series
|-
| S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series || | Metro 2033 and Metro Last Light
|-
| Metro 2033 and Metro Last Light || | Metro 2033 (novel), Metro 2034 (novel),<br>and Metro 2035 (novel)
|-
|[[Approved anime|Slayers]] || | Bastard!!
|-
| Fast And Furious || | Death Race
|-
| Death Race || | Mad Max
|-
| Dracula || | Underworld
|-
| Y:the last man || | Children of men
|-
| Battlefield Bad Company || | Call of Duty Modern Warfare trilogy
|-
| Call of Duty Modern Warfare trilogy || | Call of Duty Black Ops III
|-
| Dead Rising series || | Left 4 Dead series
|-
| Left 4 Dead series || | Dead Island series
|-
| Dead Island series || | World War Z movie
|-
| World War Z Movie || | World War Z novel
|-
| World War Z Novel || | The Walking Dead comics
|-
| Super Robot anime|| | Real Robot anime
|-
| Real Robot anime|| | WAT Robot anime
|-
| The Go-Betweens|| | The Birthday Party/Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
|-
| League of Legends|| | Dota 2
|-
| Rome: Total War|| | Total War: Attila
|-
| Freespace || | Freespace 2
|-
| Street Fighter franchise || | Mortal Kombat franchise
|-
| Star Wars Jedi: Outcast duology || | Star Wars: Battlefront 1 & 2 (2000's)
|-
| Minecraft || | 7 Days to Die
|-
| Blood Diamond || | Lord of War
|-
| Naoki Urusawa's Monster || ERASED
|-
| Casa de mi Padre || | Sicario
|-
| GammaWorld || | The Mutant Epoch
|-
| Konosuba || Re:Zero
|-
| Log Horizon || Overlord
|-
| Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? || [[Goblin Slayer]]
|-
| This Means War || Savages
|-
| Brave New World (more like GrimBright, really) || [[1984]]
|-
| Sailor Moon (old censored american dub) || Sailor Moon (original version)
|-
| Sailor Moon (original version) || Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
|-
| Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon || Revolutionary Girl Utena
|-
| Revolutionary Girl Utena || Puella Magi Madoka Magica
|-
| Egan's Diaspora || | Dukaj's Perfect Imperfection
|-
| Touhou Project || Crimzon Clover
|-
| Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet, and White Lantern Corps || Red, Orange, Yellow, Black, and Ultraviolet Lantern Corps
|-
| Pod Save America || Chapo Trap House
|-
| Chapo Trap House || The Daily Shoah
|-
| Jimmy Neutron, Back to the Future || Rick and Morty
|-
| World War II: Western Front || World War II: Eastern Front
|-
| World War II: Eastern Front || World War II: Pacific Theatre
|-
| World War II: Pacific Theatre || World War I: Western Front
|-
| World War II: French Resistance || World War II: Polish Resistance
|-
| Pork Chop Hill || Tae-Guk-Gi
|-
| [[Death Korps of Krieg]] || [[Xeelee_Sequence#Interim_Coalition_of_Governance|Interim Coalition of Governance]]
|-
| Parasyte || Devilman
|-
| Disney Channel || Cartoon Network
|-
| Cartoon Network || Toonami
|-
| Toonami || Adult Swim
|-
| E.T. || IT
|-
| Homo faber || Lolita
|-
| Maple Story || Made in Abyss
|-
| Ready Player One || 20th Century Boys
|-
| My Hero Academia || ONE PUNCH MAN (more like Grimbright, really)
|-
| Grand Theft Auto || Mafia
|-
| [[Superman | Metropolis]] || [[Batman | Gotham City]]
|-
| Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy. || Jak 2 and later
|-
| Axis Powers Hetalia || Polandball
|-
| Soren Kierkegaard || Friedrich Nietzsche
|-
| John Stuart Mill || David Benatar
|-
| Noam Chomsky || Michel Foucault
|-
| Thomas Aquinas || Augustine of Hippo
|-
| Jean-Jacques Rousseau || Thomas Hobbes
|-
| Thomas Hobbes || Friedrich Nietzsche
|-
| Friedrich Nietzsche (before Thus Spoke Zarathustra) || Friedrich Nietzsche (after Thus Spoke Zarathustra)
|-
| Friedrich Nietzsche || Mark Twain (Best example being the Mysterious Stranger)
|-
| Arthur Schopenhauer || Emil Cioran
|-
| Classical Philosophy (e.g. Virtue Ethics, Stoicism) || Contemporary Philosophy (e.g. Existentialism, Postmodernism)
|-
| Jean-Paul Sartre || Albert Camus
|-
| The American Revolution || The French Revolution
|-
| The French Revolution || The Russian Revolution
|-
| The Settlers || Civilization
|-
| Civilization || Tropico (Can be Grimbright if you are a "benevolent" dictator)
|-
| Sgt. Frog || Invader Zim
|-
| Adventure Time || Tigtone
|-
| [[Furry|Zootopia]] || [[Furry|Beastars]] (actually closer to Nobledark)
|-
| [[Furry|Beastars]] || [[Furry|Kevin and Kell]] (The setting, but not the story)
|-
| I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream (the video game) || I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream (the book)
|-
| Stellaris (when you play Egalitarian, Xenophile or Federation Builder) || Stellaris (whenever you play [[Imperium of Man|Xenophobe/Fanatic Purifier]] or [[Fall of the Eldar|Psionic Ascension]])
|-
| Care Bears || Happy Tree Friends
|-
| Kid vs Kat || Mr. Pickles
|-
| Power Metal || Thrash Metal
|-
| Thrash Metal || Death Metal
|-
| Death Metal || Black Metal
|-
| Black Metal || Doom Metal/Sludge
|-
| 2019 || 2020
|-
| 2020 || 2021
|-
|}

</center>

[[Category:Gamer Slang]]

Spanish Inquisition

2021-02-13T14:17:00Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* Reputation */

Unlike their [[Inquisition|Imperial]] counterparts, the '''Spanish Inquisition''' did not shove Inquisitorial retinues up people's asses for [[heresy|the slightest of offences]]. The Imperial Inquisition was, however, partially inspired by the Spanish Inquisition, or at least, the romanticized version of it and the one from the Black Legend, with the [[grimdark]] turned up more than a few notches of course.

== Background ==

The Spanish Inquisition wasn't the first such order to exist, it drew heavily from the Medieval Inquisition. The Medieval Inquisition as we know it was formally establishedby Pope Gregorius IX around 1230, its goal to fight religious dissent (like for instance Catharism) in an unified way across Europa. Important to understand here is that despite the modern depiction of bloodthirsty madmen (like in the novel '''The Name of the Rose''' by Umberto Eco), the goal of the Inquisition was to protect the church and safeguard people's souls from heresy rather than punishment. Gregorius famously both endorsed and limited his inquisitors' authority in order to put a stop to the witch hunts that were little more than mob justice, and focus on redeeming those that erred through penance and pilgrimage.

== Origins ==

Fast-forward two centuries : the real-life Spanish Inquisition were a combined political/religious party formed in 1480 by the Spanish Monarchs Ferdinand II of Aragon and Isabella I of Castille. [[Skub|While the reasons for their founding have been debated by historians]], several clear goals (or more popular theories) are that it was intended to maintain Catholic orthodoxy in their kingdoms and to replace the Medieval Inquisition under Papal control with one answerable to the Spanish monarchs.

While the groundwork was laid in 1478, the Spanish Inquisition was officially formed in the year 1480. For context, the reason why the Spanish monarchy wanted their own Inquisition was because Spain was in the final stages of the Reconquista, conquering Moorish Grenada ten years later. Spain, being only very recently unified and having conquered a great deal of land formerly held by Muslim rulers, wanted to maintain its existence through a strong central government supported by an orthodox system of laws & religion. All remaining Muslims were required to convert, but the monarchy wanted to make extra sure that they were being for realsies and wouldn't try to rebel or conspire with the Ottomans. They also threw in the Jews, because of the Jews' allegedly traitorous actions during much of the reconquista, allying with the Moors and often fighting alongside them such as in the [https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Higueruela.jpg Battle of La Higueruela (notice the banners)] for one instance. The scope often changed with Spain's political agenda- Lutherans (who were making controlling the Netherlands more difficult) and unruly nobles often fell under investigation.

It is important to keep in mind that Inquisitions controlled by the Church (i.e. "actual" Inquisitions) were very different. For starters, they didn't kill people. The problem was that secular governments had their own laws about heresy...and were very torture and execution happy. This somewhat contributed to the end of the Inquisitions as Inquisitors weren't exactly enthusiastic about their jobs when they knew anyone found guilty faced horrific treatment but not finding them guilty so they could be forgiven by a priest would risk those people's souls. A real rock-and-a-hard-place situation. Catholic Inquisitors rarely decided there was enough evidence to go investigate an accusation and dismissed the claim as false. On the occasions they did investigate, they rarely found enough evidence for a trial. When the investigation did progress to a trial, the Inquisitors rarely found someone guilty. When someone was found guilty, they were given God's forgiveness and released. Torture was limited to about three minutes or so per day and no permanent damage of any kind was permitted. Often, Inquisitors refused to use torture or outright decried torture as sinful. The Catholic Inquisitors set standards of practice which grew into the modern day ideas of the humane treatment of prisoners and modern police investigative practices: for instance, they would allow any suspect brought before them to 'name those they considered mortal enemies', with any accusation/testimony by such a named person discarded as mere human grudges and revenge-mongering.

The politically-controlled Inquisitions were basically "you're guilty and I'm going to hurt you until you admit it" if you were a political enemy of the State, but were generally actually pretty good at their jobs when you were a random Joe.

== Goals ==
The Spanish Inquisition was created during a time of high political development in Spain. At the end of the 15th Century, the Catholic Monarchs, Elizabeth I of Castilla and Ferdinand II of Aragon, were trying to unify all peninsular kingdoms into a single state that they might recover the legacy of the Visigothic Kingdom of old. However, it was still the Middle Ages, and this meant that pretty much all territories had their own set of laws, organizations and, of course, nobles that pretty much controlled most of the land. Medieval kings were not absolute rulers, after all; they were bound by quite a lot of law with regards to their range of action, much more than many would assume. If Elizabeth and Ferdinand were to create an unified kingdom controlled by them and them alone, this massive division had to be overcome. And for that, this new Kingdom would need an organization that had authority everywhere.

It is always important to remember that the Spanish Inquisition was a political tool first and foremost (like the Gestapo). Alongside the Spanish Royal Guard (one of the first attempts to create a modern and stable army in Europe after the fall of Rome), the Spanish Inquisition was one of the organizations that were needed for the creation of a unified State in the whole Iberian Peninsula. The Inquisition targeted people and ideas that might have broken with the growing structure of Spain, and it just so happened that a religious organization was the perfect body to do so. Spain was an incredibly religious country at the time; centuries of Reconquista had seared in the medieval Spaniard's mind the idea of Christianity's right for the land over the infidel. The Spanish Inquisition worked for the Spanish monarchy, targeting cases of [[heresy]], [[/d/|moral misconduct]], treason, political dissidence... and all other similar crimes, while most of the time hiding them under a blanket of religious condemnation. Nobles not that loyal to the new monarchs? Accuse them of some religious misconduct, and you'd have the Inquisition keeping them under serious scrutiny. Printing books that have been deemed "problematic" by the Inquisition? You better watch out. Practice Muslim beliefs and sympathies (under a Christian façade) that might evolve into harbouring Tunisian pirates or the dreaded Ottoman Turks, or even forming a 5th column if war ever broke out? You got a visit from the Inquisition. Trying to bring Protestantism to Spain and risk having the shitshow of the 16th and 17th century religious conflicts? I hope you like barbecue... Witchcraft was usually laughed at as baseless superstition: The Inquisition hired some of the smartest and most prepared individuals at the time, so they were pretty enlightened about ignoring the magical and focus on the political side of things. Hollywood, popular media, and general knowledge (i.e. "common idiocy") led modern peoples to widely believe that the Witch Hunts were Catholic. They were actually Protestant; Catholicism has always held that witches do not exist (demons don't give a fuck about any deals). ''Witchcraft'' does but not witches (summon demon, get soul stolen instead of making a deal, no deal = no witch).

Remember than an accusation and investigation of the Inquisition could ruin someone's life, and that was intentional. Not only could the nobility lose everything they have (riches, titles and land that would go right into the crown's hands), but also end up ostracized from the community if they were ever condemned and punished. Fortunately, most of the guilty verdicts did not end with an execution, but rather a fine and/or incarceration. Yet the Inquisition were the ones who decided if the person was guilty or not and the local authorities were the ones who had to carry out the punishment for the crime themselves. And if that could happen to nobility, [[Grimdark|imagine what they could do to regular peasants...]] Also, because they were a religious corps in charge of (theoretically) rooting out heresy, they couldn't act against those who weren't Christian. They had no authority over Muslims and Jews because they were not heretics, "merely" unbelievers. The solution to that came in the form of the massive forced conversions to Catholicism during the later part of the 15th Century. Now everyone was under scrutiny.

== Reputation ==

The Spanish Inquisition is often stated in popular media and medieval history as an example of Catholic intolerance and repression. Notably the first major authors of this idea were Protestants who disapproved of the Catholic Church and Heads of State at odds with Spain. Modern historians now question or disagree with earlier accounts concerning the severity of the Inquisition. Henry Kamen asserts that "the 'myth' of the all-powerful, torture-mad inquisition is largely an invention of nineteenth century Protestant authors with an agenda to discredit the Papacy". But due to a little thing called the printing press that the Spanish government (among others) didn't take seriously at the time, the Protestants happily made the Inquisition look as awful as they possibly could and by the time the Inquisitions stopped the "black legend" was there to stay (it didn't help that Spain was at the peak of its power and had plenty of rivals who were eager to drag its reputation through the mud).

After The Enlightenment and since the 19th century, this was further exacerbated by groups of people [[Imperial Truth|with various types of anti-religious sentiment]]. These groups capitalized on the narrative of a violently oppressive Spanish Inquisition and ran marathons with it ever since for the past 180+ years, eager to drag the reputation of the Catholic Church, all Christianity or religion itself through the mud. This still crops up in recent and comedic works; for example, the memetic "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!" originated from the British series "Monty's Python's Flying Circus" and at least one of the series' creators, John Cleese (yes, THAT John Cleese), has a negative view of religion. Pop cultural references to the Inquisition inevitably ignore the distinction between the Church-controlled Inquisition and the state-controlled ones because a fair and reasonable system typically makes for a dull movie, they never bothered to learn differently or they put agenda before facts.

There is an important life lesson to be had here: if you believe something because you saw it in a movie, a TV show, a game or you learned it second-hand, you need to fact-check. You should research it. And no, articles and such that just say “yeah, that’s the truth” are not research. Punching it into Google and reading the first thing it gives you isn't research either. Articles that explain the practices and history along with citing journals and such from that time is research (the Spanish Inquisition kept detailed records of their actions, most of which are in archives freely available to the public). If someone argued “everyone knows it” then remember that truth is not a democracy, feelings are not facts and that "common knowledge" is almost always wrong.

== Punishments ==

Most of punishments the Spanish Inquisition inflicted on people declared guilty was merely paying a fine or a short jail sentence, execution was a far less common punishment for crimes. It's important to note that torture was not the punishment, torture was officially a means (and on paper at least a last resort) to extract a confession. The popular media and perception of them as a blood soaked organization originated from political and prejudiced media propaganda (and the two sometimes overlap).

They are often associated with (or reviled for) using torture in popular perception and media. Torture was standard operating procedure for courts, secular or not, inside or outside the Spanish Inquisition, at the time. Methods of torture included:

*Strappado: binding the victims hands behind their back and suspending them by their wrists. Sometimes a series of drops would be added, jerking the victim up and down and forcing their arms out of their sockets. Weights could be added to the victims body to make the hanging even more excruciating.
*Toca, or [[waterboarding]]: securing the victim to an inclined board and binding them so that they cannot move. Then the victim is gagged and has a cloth placed over his or her face, and water poured over it. Toca gives the victim a feeling of drowning, even if no water enters the nose or mouth. CIA agents go through it as part of their training and on average last only 14 seconds before begging to be released.
*The Rack: often considered the most painful of tortures by contemporaries. The victim had their hands and feet bound to rollers at opposite ends of a frame. In theory, the torturer would turn the rollers and the chains attached would dislocate the joints of the victim. In theory if the torturer continued to turn the rollers the victim's arms and legs would be torn off (probably not true, tendons and ligaments are incredibly strong. Reports of people being pulled apart by horses mention that they have to be helped by cutting the joints a bit to get the process started. Who knows though, maybe ratchets are just that effective, and some people spent a long time on the rack, which might loosen them up some).

Many other torture devices associated with the inquisition are thought to be later inventions by the Victorians, such as the infamous Iron Maiden, a spiked coffin that victims would supposedly be stuffed inside. Another one, the Brazen Bull, actually comes from Ancient Greece; basically, a victim was stuffed inside a hollow bronze bull, fitted with an internal horn. As the bull was set on fire, the victim’s tortured screaming would sound like a bull’s roar. As you can see, comparing these examples with actual torture devices, the real ones tended to be less focused on grotesque conceptual horror and more simple in design and use.

There were, however, regulations for the Spanish Inquisition on how far the torture could go; no removing body parts and nothing that resulted in death. While it's a commonly publicized fact that the first head of the Spanish Inquisition (the infamous [[Torquemada Coteaz|Torquemada]]) made frequent use of torture, a less known fact is that that [[Noblebright|the Pope at the time went to the King and Queen of Spain to try and rein in his cruelty]] (and as an example of problem with political elements in the Inquisition [[Grimdark|the King and Queen pressured him in various ways to keep his mouth shut about it]]). Despite this, the Spanish Inquisition are known to have been fairer, and used torture less often, than the secular courts at the time. There were several cases of people on trial in secular courts for lesser crimes who would blaspheme in the courtroom, just so they could be tried by the Spanish Inquisition instead, who would give them a fair(er) trial.

In a particular instance of "shit that wouldn't sound out of place in 40k", in 1256, Pope Alexander IV decreed that inquisitors could clear each other from any wrongdoing that they might have performed during torture sessions... [[Derp|except this decree was for the Medieval Inquisition, and predated the Spanish Inquisition by over 150 years]].

== Death Toll ==

Modern estimates based on incomplete but detailed records put the total number of people trialed from 1540 to 1700 at around 87,000, with 2,070 people being sentenced to death. With these death sentences, the numbers that ended with an execution ''in persona'' (the person is actually executed) is around 1,300. Some managed to escape the Inquisition before they were executed so instead they were executed ''in effigy'', as in an effigy of the accused was burned in their place; "executions" in this manner (again, from 1540 to 1700) numbered at around 770. Even with records being re-examined in the wake of the Catholic Church opening historical archives, even the highest estimates from historians put the death toll below 5,000 across their 354 years.

This gives the Spanish Inquisitions trials during this period a death rate of less than 1-in-40, and this is before factoring in whether or not the death sentences were actually warranted given the Spanish Inquisition dealt with numerous crimes besides heresy, contradicting - if not debunking - the blood-soaked reputation the Spanish Inquisition is often given even to this day.

==Geopolitical Implication==

Obviously the Inquisition didn't take place in a vacuum, but in a Europe that was very rapidly dividing itself up over religion. The extremes of the inquisitors, along with other incidents such as the St Bartholowmew's Day Massacre in France and the brief reign of ''"Bloody"'' Queen Mary I in England hardened opposition to Catholicism throughout pretty much all of Europe that stood to gain from seeing Spain knocked down. It also didn't help that Charles V by dint of ancestry was both King of Spain as well as the Holy Roman Emperor. Charles spent most of his reign making war with France and trying to hold Germany together even as Martin Luther tore it apart touting Protestantism in response to corruption among the clergy.

Charles's son Philip II inherited Spain and was a fanatical Catholic who was completely onboard with the Inquisition. However, having a lot of power and being an ideological nutter tends to leave you with no friends. The Dutch converted to Protestantism and revolted against Spanish rule, while the English formed their own church and started pirating Spanish ships. Eventually even reliably Catholic powers like France and north Italy were fighting border wars with Spain, presaging the chaos that would ensue soon after in the Thirty Years War.

By the time Cardinal Richelieu (yes, THAT Richelieu) came to power in France, the Spanish Hapsburgs had made themselves so unpopular from their fanaticism and warmongering that a catholic cardinal who used inquisition style persecution himself against protestants in his own country was willing to ally with protestant nations to fight Spain.

== Later Years and Disbandment ==

The Spanish Inquisition began to lose influence in its later years, and was formally disbanded in the early-mid 19th century in the year 1834. While Napoleon's occupation of Spain had disbanded it 1808, his defeat and the return of Ferdinand the VIIth to the country meant that Napoleon's law became moot. Though, to be fair, Ferdinand didn't reinstate the Inquisition either, it was unpopular and pretty ineffective at this point, so it was supplanted by ''Juntas de Fe'', a much smaller organization that was basically an Inquisition-lite. The Regent for the queen Elisabeth IInd of Spain, Maria Christina of the Two Sicilies, finished the organization once after all in 1834, as a political maneuovre to win the liberal's support against the carlists.

So the Spanish Inquisition was in power for a total of 356 years (using 1478) or 354 (using 1480) and hasn't existed since it was disbanded '''166 years before the 21st century''' (despite how much certain people complain about them).

== "The Inquisition Still Exists" ==

There's a talking point in certain [[Urban Fantasy]] works that the Inquisition still exists.

And, yes, the Real World truth is that ''a version of'' the Inquisition does still exist. But it's wildly different from what you might picture, so "The Inquisition still exists!" is only sorta true.

To explain: The main Catholic Church's version, the [[wikipedia:Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith|Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith]] <ref>As it is ''currently'' known; it's gone by several names, historically, mainly because of the bad press the Spanish one had, and a few reorganizations.</ref> on which the Spanish one was based, still exists. But the most they can do is excommunicate you. For more detail, see about the Church controlled Inquisition in the Origins section, above.

To continue from there, because they served a continuing valid purpose, and were usually fairly light hands, the main Inquisition never really went away. And with the removal of "heresy" from criminal law, any secular power they had was gone. Nowdays, they're an internal affairs watchdog and only a concern if you work for the Catholic Church.

== Relating to /tg/ ==

[[Monty Python|The Spanish Inquisition is not to be expected.]] (Despite the fact that in real-life they were legally obliged to give thirty days notice.)

As noted previously, the current Inquisition of the Imperium of Man owes a lot of its concept to a popularized depiction of the Spanish Inquisition, right down to having their own Torquemada.

Also, Victoria Lamb makes some pretty badass Spanish Inquisitorial models.

[[Category:History]]

Religion

2021-02-13T14:12:46Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* Somewhat special cases */

{{flamewar}}
{{topquote|Science investigates; religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge, which is power; religion gives man wisdom, which is control. Science deals mainly with facts; religion deals mainly with values. The two are not rivals.|Martin Luther King, Jr}}

:'''Dracula''': ''I was called here by, huuuuumans, who wish to pay me tribute!''
:'''Richter Belmont''': ''Tribute?! You steal men's souls! And make them your slaves!''
:'''Dracula''': ''Perhaps the same could be said of all religions.''
::--An excerpt from the infamous exchange that also gave us "What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets" in [[Castlevania#Castlevania:_Symphony_Of_The_Night_.28Castlevania_9.29|Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.]]

Because it's important to several settings and RPG systems, particularly ones that are high-profile or relevant to /tg/, we have a religion article. Let's try and keep it focused on the directly-related-to-/tg/ stuff and not descend into the pure [[skub]] that can arise in discussions of real-life religions, okay?

==Definition of Religion==
Almost since the inception of the term, scholars have failed to agree on a definition of religion. While there are some belief systems that always count as religions, some have applied the term to various things such as political ideologies, or groups when they reach a certain point. There are however two general definition systems: the sociological/functional and the phenomenological/philosophical.

The two most widely accepted are:
* "a unified system of beliefs and practices relative to sacred things, that is to say things set apart and forbidden - beliefs and practices which unite into one single moral community called a church, all those who adhere to them."
* "a comprehensive worldview or 'metaphysical moral vision' that is accepted as binding because it is held to be in itself basically true and just even if all dimensions of it cannot be either fully confirmed or refuted".

As stated before, one common element that every religion which fits the criteria has is humanity's relation to supernatural forces, as all of them have at least one [[God|god]] and/or an afterlife even where there are exceptions; Buddhism doesn't have any gods or its own idea of the cosmos' origins but has afterlives and the existence of the eternal soul (unless a persons achieves nirvana), and Taoism doesn't have an afterlife in the conventional sense but is pantheistic and has supernatural beings. Religions with a God/god/gods fall under monotheistic (one God) or polytheistic (more than one god), though some of the latter have a variant called henotheistic (multiple gods but only one of them is served). Interestingly, most polytheistic religions have an all-powerful Creator God as the supreme authority in the cosmos who also created the other gods (such as Ptah from Egyptian mythology, Brahma in Hinduism and Nyame from West African mythology for Ghana's Akan people).

Like other terms for heavily [[SJW|debated]] [[communism|subjects]], religion and religious have also been used as insults or Snarl Words in social and political discussions (especially from the 20th century and onwards) to ridicule groups openly promoting something the user disagrees with. This snarl creates a caricature of the group to smear them by association with the worst excesses/negative stereotypes of religious people (like being preachy, judgmental, irrational, hypocritical).

==List of Real-Life Religions==

Too many to list, even without debates about the term. In lieu of a list on this site, here are two complied lists that should cover everything that fits the bill. Otherwise, check out the [[Mythology]] page.

* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_religions_and_spiritual_traditions Wikipedia's list of religions and spiritual traditions]
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_religious_groups For a simplified version from Wikipedia that focuses more on major religions]

==Religion vs. Mythology==
While [[Mythology|mythologies]] aren't religions in and of themselves, every religion has a mythology. While mythologies are merely the accounts of supernatural events, religions add rituals, practices and hierarchies that link those mythologies directly to the lives of their believers in one form or another, typically by describing how to properly serve to a god (or multiple gods, it depends) a significant role in the mythology a given religion is derived from. [[Skub|Whatever the source]], the mythology almost always predates the religion. As a result, especially since the Fantasy genre deals in supernatural beings and forces, most if not all fantasy settings have religions. Science fiction does to a lesser degree, mostly because during the Golden Age of sci-fi empiricists and secular humanists were attracted to the genre and their views often seeped into their stories. Despite this, given that most real-life societies have had religions playing a role in or since their founding, religions are still found in sci-fi.

Religions involves belief systems and practices, where an adherent can call upon the power/being the religion is focused on to give them aid in [[cleric|various]] [[Paladin|ways]], depending at the very least on the religion and the task in question. Given that religions are about people's place in the world, how it was made, ideas on how life should be lived and how humans should relate to the supernatural, they have major implications for societies. Given that people can become [[Exarch|dangerously single-minded]] about a cause, people can be become extremists about their religion, regardless of the fact that [[Heironeous|some]] are more benevolent than [[Asmodeus|others]] and in numerous cases even [[Heresy|if it involves going against the religion's teachings]]; in conjunction with the above this means religious conflicts can become widespread, long-lasting, cause carnage and also involve other elements such as politics- both in fantasy and in the real world.

==Role in Society==
{{skubby}}
While it varies depending on the society and the religion in question, at least as long as human civilization has existed, religiosity has existed and has almost always been interconnected. There is no human civilization in real-life where religion was never part of its development; every society that pursued secularization or [[Imperial Truth|state atheism]] started off at least mostly religious.

A person's religious beliefs (for or against) are a major factor in their worldview, often being the undercurrent for all others. This is because this belief shapes people's views on big issues such as the purpose of life, how life should be lived in relation to oneself and others and what happens to people after they die. On the upside, this often leads to teachings with the goal of unity, peace and co-operation as per the teachings of most religions (some of which also make their way into non-religious systems). On the downside, this can lead to clashes over carrying out the will of the Powers-that-be, which religion should be followed or whether or not people should follow a god or religion at all. This can involve arguments and factionalizing, or worst case scenarios like pogroms and wars. Since they are an overarching and fairly common element in cultures, they often appear or are referenced in fiction.

In many societies throughout history, medicine and religion were interconnected. In many ancient religions, the clergy were also the doctors or well-versed in medical knowledge of the time, tending to physical health as well as spiritual health. A lot of the bedrock of modern medical science was established by religious people (such as the friar Gregor Mendel who founded the scientific field of genetics, and the Christian biologist/chemist Louis Pasteur who helped pioneer vaccination and preservation of food among other things - in fact, the process of ''"pasteurization"'' is named after him). In numerous parts of the world today, numerous hospitals were based around specific religious people or founded by people from a specific religious group, and many religious charities, such as the Salvation Army, have a medical branch.

Some religions have also codified the concept of charity; in these cases, religion and charity have been inextricably entangled throughout their long history. For example, the three Abrahamic religions Christianity, Islam, and Judaism each have doctrines that require their members to do good for others in various ways such as caring for the destitute or those in need.

Throughout history religions have frequently been enshrined in law as the "state religion", giving them special privileges such as extensive influence over the government or tax exemptions. In some cases, the clergy or a religious institution are the government (usually on behalf of the Powers-that-be for the religion in question) in a system known as theocracy. Today, several theocracies exist, with the two full examples being Vatican City and Iran.

Within the last few centuries, due to events such as the French Revolution, there has also been a significant amount of anti-religious sentiment, which regards religion as at best redundant and at worst destructive (beyond historical grievances with specific groups within religions, reasons for this view and whether or not those arguments have any merit, shall not be discussed here). For the most part, a combination of people identifying more with their culture or nation than their religion and the concept that religion and functions of state should not interfere with each other has turned into more of a "live and let live" mentality that doesn't really support or oppose any one religion and only reacts when said religions begin actively defying the state or the state starts bringing the boot down on religion. Most of the world's population is religious, with the amount of piety varying from country to country, and of course there are plenty of non-religious people who don't necessarily oppose religion despite not following any themselves.

Throughout history, numerous tyrannical regimes have tried to restrict or stamp out religions. This is usually because religious teachings put the figure/object of worship before the state in a conflict of interest and most religions' teachings condemn tyranny or [[Slaanesh|the vices tyrannical leaders indulge]]. Other reasons include tyrants dislike being answerable to anyone besides themselves and a tyrant may have some form of anti-religious prejudice. While nations have usually tried to block specific religions deemed "false" (read: religions opposing the state-sponsored religion in any way), several nations have tried purge and/or even replace it with an atheistic system, albeit with horrifying [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/League_of_Militant_Atheists results] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khmer_Rouge_rule_of_Cambodia#Religious_persecutions each] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_atheism#Human_rights time], often practicing the traits that religion gets criticized for by its detractors (as while Marx's "opiate of the masses" quote was just passive theory, [http://www.stephenhicks.org/2013/02/18/marxs-philosophy-and-the-necessity-of-violent-politics/ he flip-flopped on whether he endorsed revolutionary violence for his cause]).
Best case scenario, they sidegrade from one set of problems to another as cults of personality (commonly ones based on the ruler in charge) spring up to exploit the newly created power vacuum while believers who survive the regime try to continue their activities in secret. Worst case scenario, the society crumbles as the people degenerate into a [[Commorragh|violent, fractious and nihilistic mass]].

Aside from the aforementioned theocracies, the most religious nations are countries such as Brazil in South America or Zambia in Africa (Zambia even has a state religion alongside a law that allows for freedom of religion). China is - at the time this was written - the world's least religious and most atheistic country (followed by Japan and Sweden, the situation around North Korea is [[Skub|debatable]], since even though they violently suppress religions [https://www.foxnews.com/world/north-korea-publicly-executes-80-some-for-videos-or-bibles-report-says to the point that merely having copies of religious texts can be grounds for execution], they also have the Kim Cult blended with the Marxist offshoot ideology Juche).

==How this impacts /tg/==
A few major ways. Since most if not every society in real-life has had religion either be the basis for its founding or play a role in it - in addition to the various roles religion continues to have in society - religion is just as involved in the backstory or current lore of settings. There are three major "modes" of /tg/ settings and related fictions:
* Purely functional use of religion as a story device. (What we might call "Functionalists")
* Endorsement of religion and/or religious people. (What we might call "Religion is Good" types)
* Criticism of religion and/or religious people. (What we might call "Religion is Bad" types)
For ease of categorization, writers who use these modes will also be called proponents, detractors or functionalists (who can be pro, anti or neutral).

===Religion as a story device/Functionalists===
Compared to the two types of writers found below, these writers are usually just attempting to model their work after real-world [[Mythology]] and are frequently attempting to keep their views of Religion separate from their work. Frequently comes in one of two subspecies:
* The [[Standard Fantasy Setting]] default: The world is ruled by an ordinary polytheistic pantheon, usually close to some admixture of Norse and Greek mythologies. Some of them also have a Top God more powerful than all the others, and maybe the in-universe creator of everything who is mostly hands-off in cosmic affairs. The gods of these religions tend to focus on specific areas (gods of [[Paladin|Justice]] and [[Druid|Nature]] are common, for subtly obvious reasons) and frequently want their followers to propagate or promote these things.
* The kind of setting they wanted to make dictated the nature of the divine. For example, in [[Exalted]] just about all the figures anybody would call a "God" (besides the Exalted) are Useless, because the Exalted (which includes the Player Characters) are the guys who were made specifically to do whatever the gods needed them to do for reasons inherent to the setting, to go with the main theme of the setting for the PCs: "You can do ''almost anything'', except '''avoid the consequences of doing that anything'''".

===Religion as a Bad Thing/Detractors===
There are several writers of Science Fiction and Fantasy that are of the opinion "Religion Is Bad", having an axe to grind (sometimes warranted, sometimes not) with either one or more specific real-life religions. This is more common in Sci-Fi than fantasy because the focus on science appeals to the naturalist, empiricist and/or humanist worldview of such writers, with the supernatural being seen as an obstacle to that. Despite that, the view is found among some fantasy authors as well, such as Philip Pullman (who wrote the "His Dark Materials" series as atheistic pushback against C.S Lewis' "Chronicles of Narnia" series). Whatever the genre, this comes in flavors of "The Gods are Incompetent" (more on that below), "The Gods Don't Exist" or "The Gods are Evil". Cosmic Horror also tends to use the latter two or combine them into "The Gods are actually Incomprehensible and Destructive Aliens" ([[H.P. Lovecraft]] himself was an avowed anti-religious atheist - which is why cults are recurring villains in his stories). This also has the side effect of inclining science fiction towards an atheistic perspective.

Another major component is personal issues of the author such as grievance or prejudice, but that's case-by-case and a major can of worms. A writer could resent a specific religion or even the higher power a religion reveres (though opposition to a god or gods is called anti-theistic, not anti-religious), and single them out in their works due to personal bias or promoting an agenda. Worst case scenario, the story is an anti-religious wish fulfillment story or power fantasy; two examples are as Frank Miller's "Holy Terror" comics against Islam (which Frank admitted was a careless response to the September 11 attacks) and Garth Ennis' "Preacher" comics - and their live-action adaptation - against Christianity (Garth was likely influenced by misblaming Christianity for the Irish conflict The Troubles).

Whatever the motivation, writers saying this message either model their fictional religions on the worst excesses of real world religious people, distorted versions or a fictional stand-in (the former is occasionally exaggerated and the latter two are often strawmen). The most frequently targeted religions are Christianity, Islam, faiths that practiced human sacrifice such as the Aztec's and Scientology. Cults, especially those with beliefs that mainstream religions consider unorthodox or outright heretical, are especially fertile ground for this message, albeit running the risk of being misapplied to tar other groups with the same brush.

===Religion as a Good Thing/Proponents===
There are several Science Fiction and Fantasy writers who either are religious themselves and want to promote their worldview, look upon religion positively and put that into the story or both. This is more common in Fantasy than Sci-fi, partly because with the supernatural being THE fundamental element of the genre, this gives opportunities to explore many aspects of religiosity. This is less common in science-fiction, but not unheard of, such as Carl Sagan's novel "Contact" where God's signature is found in the digits of pi. These authors usually put more thought into their fictional religion plus its central figure (although they have a tendency to go all "Crystal Dragon Jesus"; that is, resemble real-life religions but with a few details changed), and try and have it be at least a somewhat good influence, although religious institutions and leaders are usually hit-and-miss affairs.

Some people make a fictional setting with figures from real-world religions, either in the real-world or [[CS Lewis|an alternate world like Narnia]]. Others use fictional religions that either visually resemble real-life religions or figures from them. Religions that often get this treatment are the Abrahamic faiths (most often Christianity), Greek mythology, Egyptian mythology and Norse mythology (albeit often a sanitized version of the latter three). In other cases they all but abandon any form of subtlety, with the fictional religion being distinguished from the real-world religion by only a handful of minor changes. Naturally, those kinds of works tend to come off as preachy, to say the least.

Another route this uses is the route that faith itself provides the power as per "[[Belief Function|Belief Function]]" (think Morpheus' "your mind makes it real" quote, but applying at the cosmological level). In fact, Warhammer often goes the route that the gods are powered by faith as well as from their sphere of influence which has either [[Sigmar|caused some people have risen to godhood]] or [[Ynnead|caused new gods to be born in the setting]]. In fact, this has proven the greatest weapon against Chaos in every Warhammer setting (and why the Emperor's plan to starve the Chaos Gods with atheism was doomed to fail from the start).

===Somewhat special cases===

One somewhat special case is the "Religion of Evil"; in many settings, there is a religion that is explicitly capital E Evil and seeks one of the usual "Card Carrying Villain" goals of Control, Conquest, Corruption, or Destruction. Frequently has some admixture of the worst aspects of Roman Paganism, Norse practices, the Aztec, Scientology and/or the various Abrahamic religions. They also often draw from those found in the writings of H.P Lovecraft. If this cult directly worships an individual Evil God, expect whatever makes sense for that deity to be some form of destructive activity--e.g., the cult of the God of Murder demands human sacrifice on a regular basis, with a certain portion of that explicitly being not-careful-enough cultists. Regardless, Religions of Evil can show up in all three above modes, and usually has a special purpose in all three:

* All three types need bad guys. In particular, a group who by definition is Evil is always good for some no-need-to-worry-about-the-ethics-or-morality-of-killing fodder (based on the idea that everyone in is group is evil because you have to do evil to be part of the group).
* Religion is Bad types tend to use them to say either "while they're all Bad, some are worse then others", that "Religion can be used to justify anything", use it as a strawman to tar all with the same brush or they have a personal axe to grind (either against an entire religion, a group within that religion or specific religious people the author dislikes).
* Religion is Good types or the sincerely religious tend to use them as analogies with fanaticism, criticize Real World cults, compare different beliefs or deal with negative aspects of religion (occasionally making jabs at competitive religions, or fellow believers the author disagrees with). Another approach is to have a Religion of Good fighting against a Religion of Evil - either as the heroes of the story or a valued ally - to say "there is good religion, so don't tar all with the same negative brush".
** As a side note, a lot of fantasy has moved slightly away from pure Religions of Evil, for much the same reason as [[Always Chaotic Evil]] races (questions of whether this fosters prejudice against real-life groups and audiences and authors demanding more motive for their villains). While there are still plenty of them, they usually add some nuance that makes them at least morally neutral under their own lights. Popular options are for them to be an off-shoot/subset of another religion and/or be taking vengeance for an injustice (real or perceived, both of which have '''plenty''' of real-life precedent).

[[Urban Fantasy]] writers are another special case, since almost all Urban Fantasy is set in something that might be called "the real world with a twist", with all the usual political trouble that implies. As a result, they can take one of a few routes:
* The most common route is "there are many possible explanations" and vague things up as much as possible ([[True Faith|Faith]] being the power that repels [[Vampire]]s rather than than a cross having any actual connection to a deity is a popular one).
* The second most common route (albeit rarer outside of Cosmic Horror) is the "Religion as a Bad Thing" route. The story is straight up [[Imperial Truth|atheistic/"Religion is Bad" propaganda]] for the more preachy (pun intended) anti-religious writers. It's also frequently used by writers going for [[Edgy|"edgy"]] stories with religious subject matter; in practice, both most often target Christianity or any contemporary cults. Fictional religions or cults are usually thinly-veiled stand-ins for real-life ones and the quality of the plots themselves range from good to terrible.
* Some Urban Fantasy works with a clear correct religion exist thanks to the above mentioned sincerely religious authors, which are typically [[Chick Tracts|barely veiled proselytizing]] or [[Twilight|just straight up terrible]], though [[Monster Hunter International|there are some good ones]].
* The fourth route, taken most notably by [[Supers|DC and Marvel comics]] among others, is to take an "All Myths are True" approach: All religions are sort of true, but none have any exclusivity to the Truth, so Thor and Athena might have the Archangel Michael on speeddial when the Orochi teams up with Apep to get up to no good and start making trouble in their neighborhoods (because "Mikey really likes kicking serpent tail, and gets annoyed when we don't at least try to invite him to an evil serpent ass-kicking."). Differs from the "vague things up" route by being clearer on some details, and also much more gonzo. The Abrahamic God is the exception here: He's usually kept especially vague, albeit more powerful (and yet infinitely less accessible) than anyone else in the setting, and only referred to by some codephrase (Marvel likes "The One Above All", DC generally goes for "The Presence" or "whatever is behind the Source Wall").

===Miscellaneous Observations===

Doing the "The Gods are Incompetent" thing (the similar but different "The Gods are Insane", "The Gods Are Assholes" and "The Gods Don't Actually Do Anything" routes also falls under this umbrella) can go into any of the three modes; in a sincere monotheist's (such as Christian) work, it can be a "Take That" to polytheistic religions; in a "Religion is Bad" atheist's, it can be one to religion in general; in a Buddhist-influenced work, it can be a part of the whole "even the Gods are tied up in the Wheel of Karma" concept; and, even if the author is not pushing any religious message in any way, there's a neutral, plot-structural reason to go "Incompetent Gods": it can make the adventurers the Most Competent People Available since if that wasn't the case there wouldn't be anything for the adventurers to do.

If a work has multiple writers, (as frequently happens with RPG and Wargame settings, and quite a few popular SciFi/Fantasy ones as well) there's a tendency for the writers to try and pull the setting into one of the other two "modes" depending on their personal views. This leads to the theme changing from one side to the other as the story progresses. A recent example is [[World of Warcraft|the spate of retcons to the cosmology of the Warcraft universe]] and the morality of its fundamental forces/dominant higher powers, the Light and the Void. If the story doesn't get focused on a pro-religion or anti-religion message, it may end up swinging back and forth between both sides or settle in a mid-point which doesn't take a strong stance either way.

Note that members of the "Religion is Bad" and "Religion is Good" brigades will get involved in arguments over the relative morality or "goodness" of various factions in the story and the accuracy of any messages a writer presents. Often history buffs will throw their hat into the ring as well.

==Examples of /tg/ connected fictional religions==
===Warhammer 40k===
* The [[Imperial Truth]] was originally the Emperor's plan on beliefs, which he and his servants propagated throughout the galaxy during the Great Crusade. Attempting to wean mankind away from Chaos and being a firm member of the "Religion is Bad" brigade, the Emperor proclaimed there are no gods, and religion had to be abolished willingly or by force while science or reason are to be used for explaining the universe and morality. Everything transpired according to his design, except theistic religiosity in the 40k universe is the best weapon against Chaos so Emps' interstellar state atheism policy gave them a major opening. Things went from bad to worse when people started looking up to the Emperor as a god himself, [[Exterminatus|he responded accordingly]], and the Chaos Gods got a new tool in the form of [[Lorgar]]. After the Horus Heresy and the Emperor's removal from galactic politics: the Imperial Truth was slowly shelved in favor of the Imperial Cult, to the point that espousing the teachings of the Truth is ironically considered heresy. Only a few practitioners of the Imperial Truth remain, most notably the Custodes and the Space Marines (both of whom know The Emperor better than anybody to worship him as a god. Plus, their religious autonomy.).
** The [[Imperial Cult]] is the present-day religion of the Imperium of Man, and is a mix of several Abrahamic Religions along with copious amounts of warmongering, fanaticism and xenophobia. Derived from the Lectitio Divinatus penned by [[Lorgar]] pre-HH, the Cult decrees that because the Emperor is capable of all these miracles and power: he ''must'' be a god, and why you should worship and pledge loyalty to him. Its a complete 180 from the Emperor's original teachings, and has simultaneously been responsible for damning and saving the Imperium past the clusterfuck of the Horus Heresy. It's unknown whether the Emperor still abhors godhood and religion and would abolish it the moment he could, or if he's resigned himself to becoming the very thing he fought against for mankind to persevere in these trying times. Whatever the case, he didn't want to be a god, but now he has no choice but to become one.
** The [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Cult Mechanicus]] (Machine Cult) is the religion of the Adeptus Mechanicus, placing a heavy emphasis on machines, viewing them as gifts from the Machine God called "The Omnissiah" Officially, the Omnissiah is The Emperor, which allows the Mechanicus to sidestep the more puritan pundits of the Imperial Cult (we worship The Emprah, just not how you do it). Unofficially, the Omnissiah may or may not be the C'tan god: The Void Dragon. It also has a high emphasis on the collection of knowledge, and one of the Admech's roles in the galaxy is to explore remote and uncharted regions of space to find and search for knowledge that has been lost throughout the millennia. The last of these, is guidelines on machines and knowledge. Officially, heretic(tek) and xeno works are to be abhorred and disposed of, viewing them as perversions of the holy Machine God's works. Unofficially however, more liberally-minded and higher-ranked Magos would happily hoard heretek/xeno works, seeing their potential over the more restricted and constrained works of the Mechanicus.

* Chaos is a violent and complicated henotheistic (believing in multiple gods but only worshipping one) or polytheistic religion with dozens, if not hundreds of interpretations. Even then, there's more sub-cults that worship their particular god in a specific way, either minutely or vastly different from everyone else among followers of the Big 4. And this doesn't even get into the realm of Chaos Undivided (which worships the concept of Chaos itself, instead of the individual gods) and [[Malal]]. Chaos has very little established guidelines regarding worship, apart from their patron god's/gods' general likes/dislikes, so any religious practices or rituals are either based on commands from the god/s or up to the imagination of the cult.
** Interestingly, there is a Space Marine of the Chaos faction who follows the Imperial Truth, and that is [[Fabius Bile]].

* All Greenskins worship Gork and Mork (jury's out on whether the [[Gretchin Revolutionary Committee]] do), but are too disorganized to have anything like a formal religion, though they do make effigies of Gork and Mork and call on them. The closest thing they have to tenants is that Gork favors violence, Mork favors cunning. Greenskins have gotten into fights over this, but violence is part of their nature and that of their gods. While they fight over religion, they also fight over almost any dispute anyway, and may even start a religious argument just to enjoy a good fight among themselves (though the only theological argument they can formulate is "is Gork the god of cunning or is Mork?" or vica versa). On the surface, religion does not play a big-enough role in Ork society compared to other races, being just another outlet for Orks to fight about. But if [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull]] is any indication: religion can have a great impact on Orks, with him being becoming one of the greatest Warlords in the galaxy, primarily because he thinks he's personally blessed by Gork and Mork themselves. So if you throw in the Orks' gestalt field into the mix, its likely that its not that religion doesn't matter to them, it's under-utilized.

* The Tau's creed "The [[Greater Good]]" is a specie-wide philosophy that was adopted ever since the initial unification of the Tau in the olden days. In a nutshell, the Greater Good emphasizes the co-existence of all Tau and sapient life in general into working together for a common goal to further the Tau's progress, seeing everyone's potential and hoping to utilize that for an, ahem, greater good. Personal religion isn't forbidden, but it must not contradict or override The Greater Good, and must be disregarded if it ever does so. Technically, this means Tau can be religious or non-religious, as the Greater Good is not a religion (due to lacking an afterlife and supernatural aspects, with the closest things to figures of worship being the Ethereals). This sounds all fine and dandy, but the Ethereal class, who are responsible for maintaining The Greater Good, have been shown to be less benevolent than believed and have been using their unnaturally powerful charisma to subtly oppress the Tau and use them to further their own agendas.
**The Farsight Enclaves, who have thrown off Ethereal rule, are the exception in that they have rejected The Greater Good, seeing it as the method of oppression used to keep the T'au under complete control of the ethereals. Due to this, if one considers the Greater Good a religion, The Enclaves are irreligious.
**As of the 4th Sphere Expansion disaster, Chaos Tau are starting to become a thing.
**At one point, the Earth Caste gathered Genestealer-infected Tau and studied them to see what would happen. Of course, a Genestealer cult developed and naturally they violently escaped control and surveillance. According to rumors, they've even produced a Genestealer-infected Ethereal.

* The Eldar have varying views on religiosity depending on their type. Their religion is polytheistic, with henotheistic offshoots, and Ausryan was the highest ranking god. However all of the Eldar gods were murder-raped to death by Slaanesh except for Isha (taken by Nurgle), Khaine (shattered and flung into realspace), Cegorach (hiding in the Webway) and Ynnead (born long after Slaanesh's birth). Their Pantheon's religious practices aren't fleshed out save for those of Cegorach, Isha, and Khaine, via the Harlequins and Aspect Warriors. With most of their gods out of commission, Eldar religious worship is of a deistic bent.
** Craftworlders and Exodites almost exclusively worship the original Eldar pantheon, though some engage in henotheistic worship of only one of the gods. Asuryan is more popular among Craftworlders while Isha is among Exodites, though nearly all give Khaine some tribute during war.
** Corsairs are all over the place, though Khaine is a popular choice given their more militant nature.
** Being agents of the Laughing God himself, the Harlequins' worship is centered around [[Cegorach]], whilst still paying minor tribute to the other gods.
** The new faith around Ynnead, the Ynnari, is rapidly growing but have yet to establish teachings or rituals.
** Unique among the Eldar, the Dark Eldar are irreligious for the most part and while they believe some gods exist they're too self-centered to worship them (this is canon). They're often also anti-religious to boot; a major landmark of Commorragh is a landfill of religious icons called Iconoclast's Mound, and one Wych cult - the Pain Eternal - revolves around killing religious people and destroying shrines and holy sites. The sole exception, except for Dark Eldar who stop being Dark Eldar, are the [[Incubi]] who hold [[Khaine]] in high regard.
** The Ynnari have encountered atleast one ancient Craftworld that turned into an entire Genestealer cult in a misguided attempt to avoid getting their souls consumed by Slaanesh as their ship had no infinity circuit present. We're not sure if this worked to any capacity (if at all, given the Hive Mind does not absorb souls), but they were taken down by the Ynnari for obvious reasons.
** There are numerous rumors of a very small number of Chaos Eldar, but these are barely fleshed out and heavily classified in-universe. There have been verified Nurgle-worshipping Eldar and persistent rumors that some have embraced Slaanesh without becoming soul-food. Apart from this, some Dark Eldar have been willing to summon Chaos Daemons or work with Chaos worshippers ([[Fabius Bile|or allies of Chaos]]) to further their own ends.

* While the Necrontyr had religions before certain [[C'tan|star entities]] [[Necrons|roboticizied them]], those aren't fleshed out or detailed. Its also heavily implied the C'tan co-opted the Necrontyr religion beforehand. With the change to Necrons taking the higher though processes of most of them, any Necrons who can comprehend faith and religiosity either worship the C'tan or have become irreligious.

* The Tyranids themselves are irreligious, being spehss bugs and all, but understand at least a few of the advantages of religion. [[Genestealer]]s infect people and together they establish cults on targeted worlds, such as one worshipping "Children of the Stars", a perversion of the Imperial Cult (such as one that worships a [[Swarmlord|four-armed]] version of the Emperor) or something else like "Celebrants of Nihilism" (yes, that's a canon Genestealer cult name). Psychic influence is often involved and, notably, the Genestealers do not consider themselves gods. Once the Tyranids arrive en-masse, the cult-gets assimilated along with all non-Tyranids willingly or not. An interesting tidbit is that the Hive Mind stops the Tyranids from attacking the cultists in early stages of the invasion and leads them on, only to later override the Genestealers' wills and and make them slaughter the cultists.

===Dungeons and Dragons===
* Among Dungeons and Dragons settings, [[Planescape]], [[Eberron]], and [[Pathfinder]] are notable for having some coherent things that could be called "Religions", rather then the usual generic Pantheism.
** Most of Planescape's Factions effectively count as religions, to the point they can produce [[Cleric]]s ([[Planescape: Torment#Fall-From-Grace|Atheist ones at that]]). Yes, even the Athar. (Perhaps ''especially'' the Athar.)
** Half of Eberron's religions aren't worship of deities. The [[Blood of Vol]] seeks to unlock the divinity within one's self and rejects the gods (if they even exist) and the [[Path of Inspiration]] seeks to improve their next reincarnation. The Undying Court worships not gods but their undead ancestors that make up their government. The [[Path of Light]], [[Warforged_Mysteries#The_Becoming_God|Becoming God]] and [[Warforged_Mysteries#The_Reforged|Reforged]] all seek to ''create'' a deity. Even some interpretations of the [[Sovereign Host]], like the one most common among dragons, don't worship them as deities. Due to the way divine casting works in Eberron, all of these can produce divine casters.
** There's a handful of religions on [[Golarion]] that aren't merely worship of pantheons. The most prominent (read: Actually has mechanical support) is the [[Prophecies of Kalistrade]], which is basically fantasy [[Star Trek|Ferengi]].

* [[D20 Modern]]'s [[Urban Arcana]], unusually for urban fantasy, has D&D deities bleed into reality alongside the monsters. You are still able to play a <s>cleric</s> "acolyte" of any real world deity despite this.

===Star Wars===
* [[Star Wars]] is inconsistent on if the [[The Force]] is a religion. The Jedi and the Sith ''could'' both be considered religions as they are considered monastic, but mix in several other traits such as being meritocratic (Jedi) and kraterocratic (Sith) and Lucas himself has axed at least one prototyped book for portraying them too much as a religion. On the other hand, there's the Imperial officer in ''"A New Hope"'' who disses Vader's ways as "sad devotion to ancient religion", only to get [[Meme|chided for his lack of faith with a Force choke]]. It's also notable that the Sith were former Jedi who left the Jedi path for several reasons including [[Heresy|disagreements over the teachings of that creed]]. Aside from that, religion is nearly always a non-human tradition, something noted in a culture's historical background and never seen implying its extinction, or a scam. The religiously linked "damn" and "hell" are the two real world swear words that exist in-universe, purely because Han Solo used them in the films and while a young Anakin told Padme about "angels" in the prequel film these are later revealed to be in-universe aliens, albeit mysterious and powerful ones.
** There are rare exceptions where a religion is fleshed out and explored, and the writing goes various directions for better or worse. A notable example is the aggressive polytheistic religion of the antagonistic Yuuzhan Vong from the EU (which the story gradually revealed was long ago perverted from benevolent roots, and this perverted form takes a few cues from Islam, Maori beliefs and Aztec mythology).

===Star Trek===
* Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry had a low opinion of religion and in his vision humanity had done away with it and was better off for it and he had no interest in adding it to the aliens. However, some of the cast and crew disagreed and occasionally references to religions found their way into the show, which increased after Roddenberry's death. The Federation's culture is distinctly humanistic (extending the concept to alien species) in its outlook, in which religion is regarded as a thing of the past.
** While there are plenty of "Godlike" entities in Star Trek, almost all are treated as Sufficiently Advanced Aliens in the Arthur C. Clarke sense--and in particular, in ST:TNG, the flip side, that Picard and his crew are frequently shown to look like Gods to sufficiently primitive aliens, is gone into in more than one episode.
** The primary religion of the Federation's main frenemies, the Klingons, is a deistic religion where a Klingon warrior killed their gods, and in their belief Klingons who live according to those tenets get to live in a pseudo-Valhalla.
** The Bajorans are a highly religious alien race, with the majority following peaceful teachings and a minority of violent extremists.
*** Of some note, the Bajoran religion is of interest because their "Gods" actually exist, and can be (somewhat incomprehensibly) talked to (a rarity outside of [[Science Fantasy]]). In other words, they were frequently a method of having some religion vs. science debates where the divine entity (A) explicitly exists, (B) is explainable as "sufficiently advanced and unusual aliens", and (C) aren't jerks, just bad at communication with those of us who experience time linearly--in other words, with a deck that wasn't quite as badly stacked. The religiosity was meant to be as a way of contrasting the Starfleet personnel with the native population and to draw a parallel between Bajorans under the Cardassian Occupation and various real world recently freed oppressed religious-slash-ethnic groups.
** <s>In the fifth Star Trek movie, ''"The Final Frontier"'', some of the crew steal the Enterprise to look for God and instead find a powerful alien being impersonating God in the center of the universe</s> '''Just like there is no live-action movie of Avatar: The Last Airbender, there is totally no Star Trek 5!'''

===World of Darkness===
* Very large books could be written about religion and [[World of Darkness]]/Chronicles of Darkness. We'll just cover a few highlights:
** From [[Vampire: The Requiem]], there's the the Lancea et Sanctum, which might be best described as "Christianity for Vampires", and the Circle of the Crone, which is "Pagan Vampires". Both have Vampire miracles on tap (pun intended).
** [[Hunter: The Vigil]] has various religious organizations among the Compacts and Conspiracies, some very similar to real world ones, others...not so much.
** [[Mage: The Ascension]] has various religious Traditions, portrayed in that highly-stereotypical and highly-depending-on-the-author way typical of old WoD.

==See also==
* [[Mythology]]
* [[True Faith]], a common mechanic to weaponize religion in [[Urban Fantasy]].

[[Category:Not related]]
[[Category:History]]

Religion

2021-02-13T14:11:24Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* Religion as a Bad Thing/Detractors */

{{flamewar}}
{{topquote|Science investigates; religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge, which is power; religion gives man wisdom, which is control. Science deals mainly with facts; religion deals mainly with values. The two are not rivals.|Martin Luther King, Jr}}

:'''Dracula''': ''I was called here by, huuuuumans, who wish to pay me tribute!''
:'''Richter Belmont''': ''Tribute?! You steal men's souls! And make them your slaves!''
:'''Dracula''': ''Perhaps the same could be said of all religions.''
::--An excerpt from the infamous exchange that also gave us "What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets" in [[Castlevania#Castlevania:_Symphony_Of_The_Night_.28Castlevania_9.29|Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.]]

Because it's important to several settings and RPG systems, particularly ones that are high-profile or relevant to /tg/, we have a religion article. Let's try and keep it focused on the directly-related-to-/tg/ stuff and not descend into the pure [[skub]] that can arise in discussions of real-life religions, okay?

==Definition of Religion==
Almost since the inception of the term, scholars have failed to agree on a definition of religion. While there are some belief systems that always count as religions, some have applied the term to various things such as political ideologies, or groups when they reach a certain point. There are however two general definition systems: the sociological/functional and the phenomenological/philosophical.

The two most widely accepted are:
* "a unified system of beliefs and practices relative to sacred things, that is to say things set apart and forbidden - beliefs and practices which unite into one single moral community called a church, all those who adhere to them."
* "a comprehensive worldview or 'metaphysical moral vision' that is accepted as binding because it is held to be in itself basically true and just even if all dimensions of it cannot be either fully confirmed or refuted".

As stated before, one common element that every religion which fits the criteria has is humanity's relation to supernatural forces, as all of them have at least one [[God|god]] and/or an afterlife even where there are exceptions; Buddhism doesn't have any gods or its own idea of the cosmos' origins but has afterlives and the existence of the eternal soul (unless a persons achieves nirvana), and Taoism doesn't have an afterlife in the conventional sense but is pantheistic and has supernatural beings. Religions with a God/god/gods fall under monotheistic (one God) or polytheistic (more than one god), though some of the latter have a variant called henotheistic (multiple gods but only one of them is served). Interestingly, most polytheistic religions have an all-powerful Creator God as the supreme authority in the cosmos who also created the other gods (such as Ptah from Egyptian mythology, Brahma in Hinduism and Nyame from West African mythology for Ghana's Akan people).

Like other terms for heavily [[SJW|debated]] [[communism|subjects]], religion and religious have also been used as insults or Snarl Words in social and political discussions (especially from the 20th century and onwards) to ridicule groups openly promoting something the user disagrees with. This snarl creates a caricature of the group to smear them by association with the worst excesses/negative stereotypes of religious people (like being preachy, judgmental, irrational, hypocritical).

==List of Real-Life Religions==

Too many to list, even without debates about the term. In lieu of a list on this site, here are two complied lists that should cover everything that fits the bill. Otherwise, check out the [[Mythology]] page.

* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_religions_and_spiritual_traditions Wikipedia's list of religions and spiritual traditions]
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_religious_groups For a simplified version from Wikipedia that focuses more on major religions]

==Religion vs. Mythology==
While [[Mythology|mythologies]] aren't religions in and of themselves, every religion has a mythology. While mythologies are merely the accounts of supernatural events, religions add rituals, practices and hierarchies that link those mythologies directly to the lives of their believers in one form or another, typically by describing how to properly serve to a god (or multiple gods, it depends) a significant role in the mythology a given religion is derived from. [[Skub|Whatever the source]], the mythology almost always predates the religion. As a result, especially since the Fantasy genre deals in supernatural beings and forces, most if not all fantasy settings have religions. Science fiction does to a lesser degree, mostly because during the Golden Age of sci-fi empiricists and secular humanists were attracted to the genre and their views often seeped into their stories. Despite this, given that most real-life societies have had religions playing a role in or since their founding, religions are still found in sci-fi.

Religions involves belief systems and practices, where an adherent can call upon the power/being the religion is focused on to give them aid in [[cleric|various]] [[Paladin|ways]], depending at the very least on the religion and the task in question. Given that religions are about people's place in the world, how it was made, ideas on how life should be lived and how humans should relate to the supernatural, they have major implications for societies. Given that people can become [[Exarch|dangerously single-minded]] about a cause, people can be become extremists about their religion, regardless of the fact that [[Heironeous|some]] are more benevolent than [[Asmodeus|others]] and in numerous cases even [[Heresy|if it involves going against the religion's teachings]]; in conjunction with the above this means religious conflicts can become widespread, long-lasting, cause carnage and also involve other elements such as politics- both in fantasy and in the real world.

==Role in Society==
{{skubby}}
While it varies depending on the society and the religion in question, at least as long as human civilization has existed, religiosity has existed and has almost always been interconnected. There is no human civilization in real-life where religion was never part of its development; every society that pursued secularization or [[Imperial Truth|state atheism]] started off at least mostly religious.

A person's religious beliefs (for or against) are a major factor in their worldview, often being the undercurrent for all others. This is because this belief shapes people's views on big issues such as the purpose of life, how life should be lived in relation to oneself and others and what happens to people after they die. On the upside, this often leads to teachings with the goal of unity, peace and co-operation as per the teachings of most religions (some of which also make their way into non-religious systems). On the downside, this can lead to clashes over carrying out the will of the Powers-that-be, which religion should be followed or whether or not people should follow a god or religion at all. This can involve arguments and factionalizing, or worst case scenarios like pogroms and wars. Since they are an overarching and fairly common element in cultures, they often appear or are referenced in fiction.

In many societies throughout history, medicine and religion were interconnected. In many ancient religions, the clergy were also the doctors or well-versed in medical knowledge of the time, tending to physical health as well as spiritual health. A lot of the bedrock of modern medical science was established by religious people (such as the friar Gregor Mendel who founded the scientific field of genetics, and the Christian biologist/chemist Louis Pasteur who helped pioneer vaccination and preservation of food among other things - in fact, the process of ''"pasteurization"'' is named after him). In numerous parts of the world today, numerous hospitals were based around specific religious people or founded by people from a specific religious group, and many religious charities, such as the Salvation Army, have a medical branch.

Some religions have also codified the concept of charity; in these cases, religion and charity have been inextricably entangled throughout their long history. For example, the three Abrahamic religions Christianity, Islam, and Judaism each have doctrines that require their members to do good for others in various ways such as caring for the destitute or those in need.

Throughout history religions have frequently been enshrined in law as the "state religion", giving them special privileges such as extensive influence over the government or tax exemptions. In some cases, the clergy or a religious institution are the government (usually on behalf of the Powers-that-be for the religion in question) in a system known as theocracy. Today, several theocracies exist, with the two full examples being Vatican City and Iran.

Within the last few centuries, due to events such as the French Revolution, there has also been a significant amount of anti-religious sentiment, which regards religion as at best redundant and at worst destructive (beyond historical grievances with specific groups within religions, reasons for this view and whether or not those arguments have any merit, shall not be discussed here). For the most part, a combination of people identifying more with their culture or nation than their religion and the concept that religion and functions of state should not interfere with each other has turned into more of a "live and let live" mentality that doesn't really support or oppose any one religion and only reacts when said religions begin actively defying the state or the state starts bringing the boot down on religion. Most of the world's population is religious, with the amount of piety varying from country to country, and of course there are plenty of non-religious people who don't necessarily oppose religion despite not following any themselves.

Throughout history, numerous tyrannical regimes have tried to restrict or stamp out religions. This is usually because religious teachings put the figure/object of worship before the state in a conflict of interest and most religions' teachings condemn tyranny or [[Slaanesh|the vices tyrannical leaders indulge]]. Other reasons include tyrants dislike being answerable to anyone besides themselves and a tyrant may have some form of anti-religious prejudice. While nations have usually tried to block specific religions deemed "false" (read: religions opposing the state-sponsored religion in any way), several nations have tried purge and/or even replace it with an atheistic system, albeit with horrifying [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/League_of_Militant_Atheists results] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khmer_Rouge_rule_of_Cambodia#Religious_persecutions each] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_atheism#Human_rights time], often practicing the traits that religion gets criticized for by its detractors (as while Marx's "opiate of the masses" quote was just passive theory, [http://www.stephenhicks.org/2013/02/18/marxs-philosophy-and-the-necessity-of-violent-politics/ he flip-flopped on whether he endorsed revolutionary violence for his cause]).
Best case scenario, they sidegrade from one set of problems to another as cults of personality (commonly ones based on the ruler in charge) spring up to exploit the newly created power vacuum while believers who survive the regime try to continue their activities in secret. Worst case scenario, the society crumbles as the people degenerate into a [[Commorragh|violent, fractious and nihilistic mass]].

Aside from the aforementioned theocracies, the most religious nations are countries such as Brazil in South America or Zambia in Africa (Zambia even has a state religion alongside a law that allows for freedom of religion). China is - at the time this was written - the world's least religious and most atheistic country (followed by Japan and Sweden, the situation around North Korea is [[Skub|debatable]], since even though they violently suppress religions [https://www.foxnews.com/world/north-korea-publicly-executes-80-some-for-videos-or-bibles-report-says to the point that merely having copies of religious texts can be grounds for execution], they also have the Kim Cult blended with the Marxist offshoot ideology Juche).

==How this impacts /tg/==
A few major ways. Since most if not every society in real-life has had religion either be the basis for its founding or play a role in it - in addition to the various roles religion continues to have in society - religion is just as involved in the backstory or current lore of settings. There are three major "modes" of /tg/ settings and related fictions:
* Purely functional use of religion as a story device. (What we might call "Functionalists")
* Endorsement of religion and/or religious people. (What we might call "Religion is Good" types)
* Criticism of religion and/or religious people. (What we might call "Religion is Bad" types)
For ease of categorization, writers who use these modes will also be called proponents, detractors or functionalists (who can be pro, anti or neutral).

===Religion as a story device/Functionalists===
Compared to the two types of writers found below, these writers are usually just attempting to model their work after real-world [[Mythology]] and are frequently attempting to keep their views of Religion separate from their work. Frequently comes in one of two subspecies:
* The [[Standard Fantasy Setting]] default: The world is ruled by an ordinary polytheistic pantheon, usually close to some admixture of Norse and Greek mythologies. Some of them also have a Top God more powerful than all the others, and maybe the in-universe creator of everything who is mostly hands-off in cosmic affairs. The gods of these religions tend to focus on specific areas (gods of [[Paladin|Justice]] and [[Druid|Nature]] are common, for subtly obvious reasons) and frequently want their followers to propagate or promote these things.
* The kind of setting they wanted to make dictated the nature of the divine. For example, in [[Exalted]] just about all the figures anybody would call a "God" (besides the Exalted) are Useless, because the Exalted (which includes the Player Characters) are the guys who were made specifically to do whatever the gods needed them to do for reasons inherent to the setting, to go with the main theme of the setting for the PCs: "You can do ''almost anything'', except '''avoid the consequences of doing that anything'''".

===Religion as a Bad Thing/Detractors===
There are several writers of Science Fiction and Fantasy that are of the opinion "Religion Is Bad", having an axe to grind (sometimes warranted, sometimes not) with either one or more specific real-life religions. This is more common in Sci-Fi than fantasy because the focus on science appeals to the naturalist, empiricist and/or humanist worldview of such writers, with the supernatural being seen as an obstacle to that. Despite that, the view is found among some fantasy authors as well, such as Philip Pullman (who wrote the "His Dark Materials" series as atheistic pushback against C.S Lewis' "Chronicles of Narnia" series). Whatever the genre, this comes in flavors of "The Gods are Incompetent" (more on that below), "The Gods Don't Exist" or "The Gods are Evil". Cosmic Horror also tends to use the latter two or combine them into "The Gods are actually Incomprehensible and Destructive Aliens" ([[H.P. Lovecraft]] himself was an avowed anti-religious atheist - which is why cults are recurring villains in his stories). This also has the side effect of inclining science fiction towards an atheistic perspective.

Another major component is personal issues of the author such as grievance or prejudice, but that's case-by-case and a major can of worms. A writer could resent a specific religion or even the higher power a religion reveres (though opposition to a god or gods is called anti-theistic, not anti-religious), and single them out in their works due to personal bias or promoting an agenda. Worst case scenario, the story is an anti-religious wish fulfillment story or power fantasy; two examples are as Frank Miller's "Holy Terror" comics against Islam (which Frank admitted was a careless response to the September 11 attacks) and Garth Ennis' "Preacher" comics - and their live-action adaptation - against Christianity (Garth was likely influenced by misblaming Christianity for the Irish conflict The Troubles).

Whatever the motivation, writers saying this message either model their fictional religions on the worst excesses of real world religious people, distorted versions or a fictional stand-in (the former is occasionally exaggerated and the latter two are often strawmen). The most frequently targeted religions are Christianity, Islam, faiths that practiced human sacrifice such as the Aztec's and Scientology. Cults, especially those with beliefs that mainstream religions consider unorthodox or outright heretical, are especially fertile ground for this message, albeit running the risk of being misapplied to tar other groups with the same brush.

===Religion as a Good Thing/Proponents===
There are several Science Fiction and Fantasy writers who either are religious themselves and want to promote their worldview, look upon religion positively and put that into the story or both. This is more common in Fantasy than Sci-fi, partly because with the supernatural being THE fundamental element of the genre, this gives opportunities to explore many aspects of religiosity. This is less common in science-fiction, but not unheard of, such as Carl Sagan's novel "Contact" where God's signature is found in the digits of pi. These authors usually put more thought into their fictional religion plus its central figure (although they have a tendency to go all "Crystal Dragon Jesus"; that is, resemble real-life religions but with a few details changed), and try and have it be at least a somewhat good influence, although religious institutions and leaders are usually hit-and-miss affairs.

Some people make a fictional setting with figures from real-world religions, either in the real-world or [[CS Lewis|an alternate world like Narnia]]. Others use fictional religions that either visually resemble real-life religions or figures from them. Religions that often get this treatment are the Abrahamic faiths (most often Christianity), Greek mythology, Egyptian mythology and Norse mythology (albeit often a sanitized version of the latter three). In other cases they all but abandon any form of subtlety, with the fictional religion being distinguished from the real-world religion by only a handful of minor changes. Naturally, those kinds of works tend to come off as preachy, to say the least.

Another route this uses is the route that faith itself provides the power as per "[[Belief Function|Belief Function]]" (think Morpheus' "your mind makes it real" quote, but applying at the cosmological level). In fact, Warhammer often goes the route that the gods are powered by faith as well as from their sphere of influence which has either [[Sigmar|caused some people have risen to godhood]] or [[Ynnead|caused new gods to be born in the setting]]. In fact, this has proven the greatest weapon against Chaos in every Warhammer setting (and why the Emperor's plan to starve the Chaos Gods with atheism was doomed to fail from the start).

===Somewhat special cases===

One somewhat special case is the "Religion of Evil"; in many settings, there is a religion that is explicitly capital E Evil and seeks one of the usual "Card Carrying Villain" goals of Control, Conquest, Corruption, or Destruction. Frequently has some admixture of the worst aspects of Roman Paganism, Norse practices, the Aztec, Scientology and/or the various Abrahamic religions. They also often draw from those found in the writings of H.P Lovecraft. If this cult directly worships an individual Evil God, expect whatever makes sense for that deity to be some form of destructive activity--e.g., the cult of the God of Murder demands human sacrifice on a regular basis, with a certain portion of that explicitly being not-careful-enough cultists. Regardless, Religions of Evil can show up in all three above modes, and usually has a special purpose in all three:

* All three types need bad guys. In particular, a group who by definition is Evil is always good for some no-need-to-worry-about-the-ethics-or-morality-of-killing fodder (based on the idea that everyone in is group is evil because you have to do evil to be part of the group).
* Religion is Bad types tend to use them to say either "while they're all Bad, some are worse then others", that "Religion can be used to justify anything", use it as a strawman to tar all with the same brush or they have a personal axe to grind (either against an entire religion, a group within that religion or specific religious people the author dislikes).
* Religion is Good types or the sincerely religious tend to use them as analogies with fanaticism, criticize Real World cults, compare different beliefs or deal with negative aspects of religion (occasionally making jabs at competitive religions, or fellow believers the author disagrees with). Another approach is to have a Religion of Good fighting against a Religion of Evil - either as the heroes of the story or a valued ally - to say "there is good religion, so don't tar all with the same negative brush".
** As a side note, a lot of fantasy has moved slightly away from pure Religions of Evil, for much the same reason as [[Always Chaotic Evil]] races (questions of whether this fosters prejudice against real-life groups and audiences and authors demanding more motive for their villains). While there are still plenty of them, they usually add some nuance that makes them at least morally neutral under their own lights. Popular options are for them to be an off-shoot/subset of another religion and/or be taking vengeance for an injustice (real or perceived, both of which have '''plenty''' of real-life precedent).

[[Urban Fantasy]] writers are another special case, since almost all Urban Fantasy is set in something that might be called "the real world with a twist", with all the usual political trouble that implies. As a result, they can take one of a few routes:
* The most common route is "there are many possible explanations" and vague things up as much as possible ([[True Faith|Faith]] being the power that repels [[Vampire]]s rather than than a cross having any actual connection to a deity is a popular one).
* The second most common route (albeit rarer outside of Cosmic Horror) is the "Religion as a Bad Thing" route. The story is straight up [[Imperial Truth|atheistic/"Religion is Bad" propaganda]] for the more preachy (pun intended) anti-religious writers. It's also frequently used by writers going for [[Edgy|"edgy"]] stories with religious subject matter; in practice, both most often target Christianity or any contemporary cults. On that note, any fictional religions or cults are usually thinly-veiled stand-ins for real-life ones.
* Some Urban Fantasy works with a clear correct religion exist thanks to the above mentioned sincerely religious authors, which are typically [[Chick Tracts|barely veiled proselytizing]] or [[Twilight|just straight up terrible]], though [[Monster Hunter International|there are some good ones]].
* The fourth route, taken most notably by [[Supers|DC and Marvel comics]] among others, is to take an "All Myths are True" approach: All religions are sort of true, but none have any exclusivity to the Truth, so Thor and Athena might have the Archangel Michael on speeddial when the Orochi teams up with Apep to get up to no good and start making trouble in their neighborhoods (because "Mikey really likes kicking serpent tail, and gets annoyed when we don't at least try to invite him to an evil serpent ass-kicking."). Differs from the "vague things up" route by being clearer on some details, and also much more gonzo. The Abrahamic God is the exception here: He's usually kept especially vague, albeit more powerful (and yet infinitely less accessible) than anyone else in the setting, and only referred to by some codephrase (Marvel likes "The One Above All", DC generally goes for "The Presence" or "whatever is behind the Source Wall").

===Miscellaneous Observations===

Doing the "The Gods are Incompetent" thing (the similar but different "The Gods are Insane", "The Gods Are Assholes" and "The Gods Don't Actually Do Anything" routes also falls under this umbrella) can go into any of the three modes; in a sincere monotheist's (such as Christian) work, it can be a "Take That" to polytheistic religions; in a "Religion is Bad" atheist's, it can be one to religion in general; in a Buddhist-influenced work, it can be a part of the whole "even the Gods are tied up in the Wheel of Karma" concept; and, even if the author is not pushing any religious message in any way, there's a neutral, plot-structural reason to go "Incompetent Gods": it can make the adventurers the Most Competent People Available since if that wasn't the case there wouldn't be anything for the adventurers to do.

If a work has multiple writers, (as frequently happens with RPG and Wargame settings, and quite a few popular SciFi/Fantasy ones as well) there's a tendency for the writers to try and pull the setting into one of the other two "modes" depending on their personal views. This leads to the theme changing from one side to the other as the story progresses. A recent example is [[World of Warcraft|the spate of retcons to the cosmology of the Warcraft universe]] and the morality of its fundamental forces/dominant higher powers, the Light and the Void. If the story doesn't get focused on a pro-religion or anti-religion message, it may end up swinging back and forth between both sides or settle in a mid-point which doesn't take a strong stance either way.

Note that members of the "Religion is Bad" and "Religion is Good" brigades will get involved in arguments over the relative morality or "goodness" of various factions in the story and the accuracy of any messages a writer presents. Often history buffs will throw their hat into the ring as well.

==Examples of /tg/ connected fictional religions==
===Warhammer 40k===
* The [[Imperial Truth]] was originally the Emperor's plan on beliefs, which he and his servants propagated throughout the galaxy during the Great Crusade. Attempting to wean mankind away from Chaos and being a firm member of the "Religion is Bad" brigade, the Emperor proclaimed there are no gods, and religion had to be abolished willingly or by force while science or reason are to be used for explaining the universe and morality. Everything transpired according to his design, except theistic religiosity in the 40k universe is the best weapon against Chaos so Emps' interstellar state atheism policy gave them a major opening. Things went from bad to worse when people started looking up to the Emperor as a god himself, [[Exterminatus|he responded accordingly]], and the Chaos Gods got a new tool in the form of [[Lorgar]]. After the Horus Heresy and the Emperor's removal from galactic politics: the Imperial Truth was slowly shelved in favor of the Imperial Cult, to the point that espousing the teachings of the Truth is ironically considered heresy. Only a few practitioners of the Imperial Truth remain, most notably the Custodes and the Space Marines (both of whom know The Emperor better than anybody to worship him as a god. Plus, their religious autonomy.).
** The [[Imperial Cult]] is the present-day religion of the Imperium of Man, and is a mix of several Abrahamic Religions along with copious amounts of warmongering, fanaticism and xenophobia. Derived from the Lectitio Divinatus penned by [[Lorgar]] pre-HH, the Cult decrees that because the Emperor is capable of all these miracles and power: he ''must'' be a god, and why you should worship and pledge loyalty to him. Its a complete 180 from the Emperor's original teachings, and has simultaneously been responsible for damning and saving the Imperium past the clusterfuck of the Horus Heresy. It's unknown whether the Emperor still abhors godhood and religion and would abolish it the moment he could, or if he's resigned himself to becoming the very thing he fought against for mankind to persevere in these trying times. Whatever the case, he didn't want to be a god, but now he has no choice but to become one.
** The [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Cult Mechanicus]] (Machine Cult) is the religion of the Adeptus Mechanicus, placing a heavy emphasis on machines, viewing them as gifts from the Machine God called "The Omnissiah" Officially, the Omnissiah is The Emperor, which allows the Mechanicus to sidestep the more puritan pundits of the Imperial Cult (we worship The Emprah, just not how you do it). Unofficially, the Omnissiah may or may not be the C'tan god: The Void Dragon. It also has a high emphasis on the collection of knowledge, and one of the Admech's roles in the galaxy is to explore remote and uncharted regions of space to find and search for knowledge that has been lost throughout the millennia. The last of these, is guidelines on machines and knowledge. Officially, heretic(tek) and xeno works are to be abhorred and disposed of, viewing them as perversions of the holy Machine God's works. Unofficially however, more liberally-minded and higher-ranked Magos would happily hoard heretek/xeno works, seeing their potential over the more restricted and constrained works of the Mechanicus.

* Chaos is a violent and complicated henotheistic (believing in multiple gods but only worshipping one) or polytheistic religion with dozens, if not hundreds of interpretations. Even then, there's more sub-cults that worship their particular god in a specific way, either minutely or vastly different from everyone else among followers of the Big 4. And this doesn't even get into the realm of Chaos Undivided (which worships the concept of Chaos itself, instead of the individual gods) and [[Malal]]. Chaos has very little established guidelines regarding worship, apart from their patron god's/gods' general likes/dislikes, so any religious practices or rituals are either based on commands from the god/s or up to the imagination of the cult.
** Interestingly, there is a Space Marine of the Chaos faction who follows the Imperial Truth, and that is [[Fabius Bile]].

* All Greenskins worship Gork and Mork (jury's out on whether the [[Gretchin Revolutionary Committee]] do), but are too disorganized to have anything like a formal religion, though they do make effigies of Gork and Mork and call on them. The closest thing they have to tenants is that Gork favors violence, Mork favors cunning. Greenskins have gotten into fights over this, but violence is part of their nature and that of their gods. While they fight over religion, they also fight over almost any dispute anyway, and may even start a religious argument just to enjoy a good fight among themselves (though the only theological argument they can formulate is "is Gork the god of cunning or is Mork?" or vica versa). On the surface, religion does not play a big-enough role in Ork society compared to other races, being just another outlet for Orks to fight about. But if [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull]] is any indication: religion can have a great impact on Orks, with him being becoming one of the greatest Warlords in the galaxy, primarily because he thinks he's personally blessed by Gork and Mork themselves. So if you throw in the Orks' gestalt field into the mix, its likely that its not that religion doesn't matter to them, it's under-utilized.

* The Tau's creed "The [[Greater Good]]" is a specie-wide philosophy that was adopted ever since the initial unification of the Tau in the olden days. In a nutshell, the Greater Good emphasizes the co-existence of all Tau and sapient life in general into working together for a common goal to further the Tau's progress, seeing everyone's potential and hoping to utilize that for an, ahem, greater good. Personal religion isn't forbidden, but it must not contradict or override The Greater Good, and must be disregarded if it ever does so. Technically, this means Tau can be religious or non-religious, as the Greater Good is not a religion (due to lacking an afterlife and supernatural aspects, with the closest things to figures of worship being the Ethereals). This sounds all fine and dandy, but the Ethereal class, who are responsible for maintaining The Greater Good, have been shown to be less benevolent than believed and have been using their unnaturally powerful charisma to subtly oppress the Tau and use them to further their own agendas.
**The Farsight Enclaves, who have thrown off Ethereal rule, are the exception in that they have rejected The Greater Good, seeing it as the method of oppression used to keep the T'au under complete control of the ethereals. Due to this, if one considers the Greater Good a religion, The Enclaves are irreligious.
**As of the 4th Sphere Expansion disaster, Chaos Tau are starting to become a thing.
**At one point, the Earth Caste gathered Genestealer-infected Tau and studied them to see what would happen. Of course, a Genestealer cult developed and naturally they violently escaped control and surveillance. According to rumors, they've even produced a Genestealer-infected Ethereal.

* The Eldar have varying views on religiosity depending on their type. Their religion is polytheistic, with henotheistic offshoots, and Ausryan was the highest ranking god. However all of the Eldar gods were murder-raped to death by Slaanesh except for Isha (taken by Nurgle), Khaine (shattered and flung into realspace), Cegorach (hiding in the Webway) and Ynnead (born long after Slaanesh's birth). Their Pantheon's religious practices aren't fleshed out save for those of Cegorach, Isha, and Khaine, via the Harlequins and Aspect Warriors. With most of their gods out of commission, Eldar religious worship is of a deistic bent.
** Craftworlders and Exodites almost exclusively worship the original Eldar pantheon, though some engage in henotheistic worship of only one of the gods. Asuryan is more popular among Craftworlders while Isha is among Exodites, though nearly all give Khaine some tribute during war.
** Corsairs are all over the place, though Khaine is a popular choice given their more militant nature.
** Being agents of the Laughing God himself, the Harlequins' worship is centered around [[Cegorach]], whilst still paying minor tribute to the other gods.
** The new faith around Ynnead, the Ynnari, is rapidly growing but have yet to establish teachings or rituals.
** Unique among the Eldar, the Dark Eldar are irreligious for the most part and while they believe some gods exist they're too self-centered to worship them (this is canon). They're often also anti-religious to boot; a major landmark of Commorragh is a landfill of religious icons called Iconoclast's Mound, and one Wych cult - the Pain Eternal - revolves around killing religious people and destroying shrines and holy sites. The sole exception, except for Dark Eldar who stop being Dark Eldar, are the [[Incubi]] who hold [[Khaine]] in high regard.
** The Ynnari have encountered atleast one ancient Craftworld that turned into an entire Genestealer cult in a misguided attempt to avoid getting their souls consumed by Slaanesh as their ship had no infinity circuit present. We're not sure if this worked to any capacity (if at all, given the Hive Mind does not absorb souls), but they were taken down by the Ynnari for obvious reasons.
** There are numerous rumors of a very small number of Chaos Eldar, but these are barely fleshed out and heavily classified in-universe. There have been verified Nurgle-worshipping Eldar and persistent rumors that some have embraced Slaanesh without becoming soul-food. Apart from this, some Dark Eldar have been willing to summon Chaos Daemons or work with Chaos worshippers ([[Fabius Bile|or allies of Chaos]]) to further their own ends.

* While the Necrontyr had religions before certain [[C'tan|star entities]] [[Necrons|roboticizied them]], those aren't fleshed out or detailed. Its also heavily implied the C'tan co-opted the Necrontyr religion beforehand. With the change to Necrons taking the higher though processes of most of them, any Necrons who can comprehend faith and religiosity either worship the C'tan or have become irreligious.

* The Tyranids themselves are irreligious, being spehss bugs and all, but understand at least a few of the advantages of religion. [[Genestealer]]s infect people and together they establish cults on targeted worlds, such as one worshipping "Children of the Stars", a perversion of the Imperial Cult (such as one that worships a [[Swarmlord|four-armed]] version of the Emperor) or something else like "Celebrants of Nihilism" (yes, that's a canon Genestealer cult name). Psychic influence is often involved and, notably, the Genestealers do not consider themselves gods. Once the Tyranids arrive en-masse, the cult-gets assimilated along with all non-Tyranids willingly or not. An interesting tidbit is that the Hive Mind stops the Tyranids from attacking the cultists in early stages of the invasion and leads them on, only to later override the Genestealers' wills and and make them slaughter the cultists.

===Dungeons and Dragons===
* Among Dungeons and Dragons settings, [[Planescape]], [[Eberron]], and [[Pathfinder]] are notable for having some coherent things that could be called "Religions", rather then the usual generic Pantheism.
** Most of Planescape's Factions effectively count as religions, to the point they can produce [[Cleric]]s ([[Planescape: Torment#Fall-From-Grace|Atheist ones at that]]). Yes, even the Athar. (Perhaps ''especially'' the Athar.)
** Half of Eberron's religions aren't worship of deities. The [[Blood of Vol]] seeks to unlock the divinity within one's self and rejects the gods (if they even exist) and the [[Path of Inspiration]] seeks to improve their next reincarnation. The Undying Court worships not gods but their undead ancestors that make up their government. The [[Path of Light]], [[Warforged_Mysteries#The_Becoming_God|Becoming God]] and [[Warforged_Mysteries#The_Reforged|Reforged]] all seek to ''create'' a deity. Even some interpretations of the [[Sovereign Host]], like the one most common among dragons, don't worship them as deities. Due to the way divine casting works in Eberron, all of these can produce divine casters.
** There's a handful of religions on [[Golarion]] that aren't merely worship of pantheons. The most prominent (read: Actually has mechanical support) is the [[Prophecies of Kalistrade]], which is basically fantasy [[Star Trek|Ferengi]].

* [[D20 Modern]]'s [[Urban Arcana]], unusually for urban fantasy, has D&D deities bleed into reality alongside the monsters. You are still able to play a <s>cleric</s> "acolyte" of any real world deity despite this.

===Star Wars===
* [[Star Wars]] is inconsistent on if the [[The Force]] is a religion. The Jedi and the Sith ''could'' both be considered religions as they are considered monastic, but mix in several other traits such as being meritocratic (Jedi) and kraterocratic (Sith) and Lucas himself has axed at least one prototyped book for portraying them too much as a religion. On the other hand, there's the Imperial officer in ''"A New Hope"'' who disses Vader's ways as "sad devotion to ancient religion", only to get [[Meme|chided for his lack of faith with a Force choke]]. It's also notable that the Sith were former Jedi who left the Jedi path for several reasons including [[Heresy|disagreements over the teachings of that creed]]. Aside from that, religion is nearly always a non-human tradition, something noted in a culture's historical background and never seen implying its extinction, or a scam. The religiously linked "damn" and "hell" are the two real world swear words that exist in-universe, purely because Han Solo used them in the films and while a young Anakin told Padme about "angels" in the prequel film these are later revealed to be in-universe aliens, albeit mysterious and powerful ones.
** There are rare exceptions where a religion is fleshed out and explored, and the writing goes various directions for better or worse. A notable example is the aggressive polytheistic religion of the antagonistic Yuuzhan Vong from the EU (which the story gradually revealed was long ago perverted from benevolent roots, and this perverted form takes a few cues from Islam, Maori beliefs and Aztec mythology).

===Star Trek===
* Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry had a low opinion of religion and in his vision humanity had done away with it and was better off for it and he had no interest in adding it to the aliens. However, some of the cast and crew disagreed and occasionally references to religions found their way into the show, which increased after Roddenberry's death. The Federation's culture is distinctly humanistic (extending the concept to alien species) in its outlook, in which religion is regarded as a thing of the past.
** While there are plenty of "Godlike" entities in Star Trek, almost all are treated as Sufficiently Advanced Aliens in the Arthur C. Clarke sense--and in particular, in ST:TNG, the flip side, that Picard and his crew are frequently shown to look like Gods to sufficiently primitive aliens, is gone into in more than one episode.
** The primary religion of the Federation's main frenemies, the Klingons, is a deistic religion where a Klingon warrior killed their gods, and in their belief Klingons who live according to those tenets get to live in a pseudo-Valhalla.
** The Bajorans are a highly religious alien race, with the majority following peaceful teachings and a minority of violent extremists.
*** Of some note, the Bajoran religion is of interest because their "Gods" actually exist, and can be (somewhat incomprehensibly) talked to (a rarity outside of [[Science Fantasy]]). In other words, they were frequently a method of having some religion vs. science debates where the divine entity (A) explicitly exists, (B) is explainable as "sufficiently advanced and unusual aliens", and (C) aren't jerks, just bad at communication with those of us who experience time linearly--in other words, with a deck that wasn't quite as badly stacked. The religiosity was meant to be as a way of contrasting the Starfleet personnel with the native population and to draw a parallel between Bajorans under the Cardassian Occupation and various real world recently freed oppressed religious-slash-ethnic groups.
** <s>In the fifth Star Trek movie, ''"The Final Frontier"'', some of the crew steal the Enterprise to look for God and instead find a powerful alien being impersonating God in the center of the universe</s> '''Just like there is no live-action movie of Avatar: The Last Airbender, there is totally no Star Trek 5!'''

===World of Darkness===
* Very large books could be written about religion and [[World of Darkness]]/Chronicles of Darkness. We'll just cover a few highlights:
** From [[Vampire: The Requiem]], there's the the Lancea et Sanctum, which might be best described as "Christianity for Vampires", and the Circle of the Crone, which is "Pagan Vampires". Both have Vampire miracles on tap (pun intended).
** [[Hunter: The Vigil]] has various religious organizations among the Compacts and Conspiracies, some very similar to real world ones, others...not so much.
** [[Mage: The Ascension]] has various religious Traditions, portrayed in that highly-stereotypical and highly-depending-on-the-author way typical of old WoD.

==See also==
* [[Mythology]]
* [[True Faith]], a common mechanic to weaponize religion in [[Urban Fantasy]].

[[Category:Not related]]
[[Category:History]]

Religion

2021-02-13T14:09:37Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* Religion as a Bad Thing/Detractors */

{{flamewar}}
{{topquote|Science investigates; religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge, which is power; religion gives man wisdom, which is control. Science deals mainly with facts; religion deals mainly with values. The two are not rivals.|Martin Luther King, Jr}}

:'''Dracula''': ''I was called here by, huuuuumans, who wish to pay me tribute!''
:'''Richter Belmont''': ''Tribute?! You steal men's souls! And make them your slaves!''
:'''Dracula''': ''Perhaps the same could be said of all religions.''
::--An excerpt from the infamous exchange that also gave us "What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets" in [[Castlevania#Castlevania:_Symphony_Of_The_Night_.28Castlevania_9.29|Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.]]

Because it's important to several settings and RPG systems, particularly ones that are high-profile or relevant to /tg/, we have a religion article. Let's try and keep it focused on the directly-related-to-/tg/ stuff and not descend into the pure [[skub]] that can arise in discussions of real-life religions, okay?

==Definition of Religion==
Almost since the inception of the term, scholars have failed to agree on a definition of religion. While there are some belief systems that always count as religions, some have applied the term to various things such as political ideologies, or groups when they reach a certain point. There are however two general definition systems: the sociological/functional and the phenomenological/philosophical.

The two most widely accepted are:
* "a unified system of beliefs and practices relative to sacred things, that is to say things set apart and forbidden - beliefs and practices which unite into one single moral community called a church, all those who adhere to them."
* "a comprehensive worldview or 'metaphysical moral vision' that is accepted as binding because it is held to be in itself basically true and just even if all dimensions of it cannot be either fully confirmed or refuted".

As stated before, one common element that every religion which fits the criteria has is humanity's relation to supernatural forces, as all of them have at least one [[God|god]] and/or an afterlife even where there are exceptions; Buddhism doesn't have any gods or its own idea of the cosmos' origins but has afterlives and the existence of the eternal soul (unless a persons achieves nirvana), and Taoism doesn't have an afterlife in the conventional sense but is pantheistic and has supernatural beings. Religions with a God/god/gods fall under monotheistic (one God) or polytheistic (more than one god), though some of the latter have a variant called henotheistic (multiple gods but only one of them is served). Interestingly, most polytheistic religions have an all-powerful Creator God as the supreme authority in the cosmos who also created the other gods (such as Ptah from Egyptian mythology, Brahma in Hinduism and Nyame from West African mythology for Ghana's Akan people).

Like other terms for heavily [[SJW|debated]] [[communism|subjects]], religion and religious have also been used as insults or Snarl Words in social and political discussions (especially from the 20th century and onwards) to ridicule groups openly promoting something the user disagrees with. This snarl creates a caricature of the group to smear them by association with the worst excesses/negative stereotypes of religious people (like being preachy, judgmental, irrational, hypocritical).

==List of Real-Life Religions==

Too many to list, even without debates about the term. In lieu of a list on this site, here are two complied lists that should cover everything that fits the bill. Otherwise, check out the [[Mythology]] page.

* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_religions_and_spiritual_traditions Wikipedia's list of religions and spiritual traditions]
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_religious_groups For a simplified version from Wikipedia that focuses more on major religions]

==Religion vs. Mythology==
While [[Mythology|mythologies]] aren't religions in and of themselves, every religion has a mythology. While mythologies are merely the accounts of supernatural events, religions add rituals, practices and hierarchies that link those mythologies directly to the lives of their believers in one form or another, typically by describing how to properly serve to a god (or multiple gods, it depends) a significant role in the mythology a given religion is derived from. [[Skub|Whatever the source]], the mythology almost always predates the religion. As a result, especially since the Fantasy genre deals in supernatural beings and forces, most if not all fantasy settings have religions. Science fiction does to a lesser degree, mostly because during the Golden Age of sci-fi empiricists and secular humanists were attracted to the genre and their views often seeped into their stories. Despite this, given that most real-life societies have had religions playing a role in or since their founding, religions are still found in sci-fi.

Religions involves belief systems and practices, where an adherent can call upon the power/being the religion is focused on to give them aid in [[cleric|various]] [[Paladin|ways]], depending at the very least on the religion and the task in question. Given that religions are about people's place in the world, how it was made, ideas on how life should be lived and how humans should relate to the supernatural, they have major implications for societies. Given that people can become [[Exarch|dangerously single-minded]] about a cause, people can be become extremists about their religion, regardless of the fact that [[Heironeous|some]] are more benevolent than [[Asmodeus|others]] and in numerous cases even [[Heresy|if it involves going against the religion's teachings]]; in conjunction with the above this means religious conflicts can become widespread, long-lasting, cause carnage and also involve other elements such as politics- both in fantasy and in the real world.

==Role in Society==
{{skubby}}
While it varies depending on the society and the religion in question, at least as long as human civilization has existed, religiosity has existed and has almost always been interconnected. There is no human civilization in real-life where religion was never part of its development; every society that pursued secularization or [[Imperial Truth|state atheism]] started off at least mostly religious.

A person's religious beliefs (for or against) are a major factor in their worldview, often being the undercurrent for all others. This is because this belief shapes people's views on big issues such as the purpose of life, how life should be lived in relation to oneself and others and what happens to people after they die. On the upside, this often leads to teachings with the goal of unity, peace and co-operation as per the teachings of most religions (some of which also make their way into non-religious systems). On the downside, this can lead to clashes over carrying out the will of the Powers-that-be, which religion should be followed or whether or not people should follow a god or religion at all. This can involve arguments and factionalizing, or worst case scenarios like pogroms and wars. Since they are an overarching and fairly common element in cultures, they often appear or are referenced in fiction.

In many societies throughout history, medicine and religion were interconnected. In many ancient religions, the clergy were also the doctors or well-versed in medical knowledge of the time, tending to physical health as well as spiritual health. A lot of the bedrock of modern medical science was established by religious people (such as the friar Gregor Mendel who founded the scientific field of genetics, and the Christian biologist/chemist Louis Pasteur who helped pioneer vaccination and preservation of food among other things - in fact, the process of ''"pasteurization"'' is named after him). In numerous parts of the world today, numerous hospitals were based around specific religious people or founded by people from a specific religious group, and many religious charities, such as the Salvation Army, have a medical branch.

Some religions have also codified the concept of charity; in these cases, religion and charity have been inextricably entangled throughout their long history. For example, the three Abrahamic religions Christianity, Islam, and Judaism each have doctrines that require their members to do good for others in various ways such as caring for the destitute or those in need.

Throughout history religions have frequently been enshrined in law as the "state religion", giving them special privileges such as extensive influence over the government or tax exemptions. In some cases, the clergy or a religious institution are the government (usually on behalf of the Powers-that-be for the religion in question) in a system known as theocracy. Today, several theocracies exist, with the two full examples being Vatican City and Iran.

Within the last few centuries, due to events such as the French Revolution, there has also been a significant amount of anti-religious sentiment, which regards religion as at best redundant and at worst destructive (beyond historical grievances with specific groups within religions, reasons for this view and whether or not those arguments have any merit, shall not be discussed here). For the most part, a combination of people identifying more with their culture or nation than their religion and the concept that religion and functions of state should not interfere with each other has turned into more of a "live and let live" mentality that doesn't really support or oppose any one religion and only reacts when said religions begin actively defying the state or the state starts bringing the boot down on religion. Most of the world's population is religious, with the amount of piety varying from country to country, and of course there are plenty of non-religious people who don't necessarily oppose religion despite not following any themselves.

Throughout history, numerous tyrannical regimes have tried to restrict or stamp out religions. This is usually because religious teachings put the figure/object of worship before the state in a conflict of interest and most religions' teachings condemn tyranny or [[Slaanesh|the vices tyrannical leaders indulge]]. Other reasons include tyrants dislike being answerable to anyone besides themselves and a tyrant may have some form of anti-religious prejudice. While nations have usually tried to block specific religions deemed "false" (read: religions opposing the state-sponsored religion in any way), several nations have tried purge and/or even replace it with an atheistic system, albeit with horrifying [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/League_of_Militant_Atheists results] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khmer_Rouge_rule_of_Cambodia#Religious_persecutions each] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_atheism#Human_rights time], often practicing the traits that religion gets criticized for by its detractors (as while Marx's "opiate of the masses" quote was just passive theory, [http://www.stephenhicks.org/2013/02/18/marxs-philosophy-and-the-necessity-of-violent-politics/ he flip-flopped on whether he endorsed revolutionary violence for his cause]).
Best case scenario, they sidegrade from one set of problems to another as cults of personality (commonly ones based on the ruler in charge) spring up to exploit the newly created power vacuum while believers who survive the regime try to continue their activities in secret. Worst case scenario, the society crumbles as the people degenerate into a [[Commorragh|violent, fractious and nihilistic mass]].

Aside from the aforementioned theocracies, the most religious nations are countries such as Brazil in South America or Zambia in Africa (Zambia even has a state religion alongside a law that allows for freedom of religion). China is - at the time this was written - the world's least religious and most atheistic country (followed by Japan and Sweden, the situation around North Korea is [[Skub|debatable]], since even though they violently suppress religions [https://www.foxnews.com/world/north-korea-publicly-executes-80-some-for-videos-or-bibles-report-says to the point that merely having copies of religious texts can be grounds for execution], they also have the Kim Cult blended with the Marxist offshoot ideology Juche).

==How this impacts /tg/==
A few major ways. Since most if not every society in real-life has had religion either be the basis for its founding or play a role in it - in addition to the various roles religion continues to have in society - religion is just as involved in the backstory or current lore of settings. There are three major "modes" of /tg/ settings and related fictions:
* Purely functional use of religion as a story device. (What we might call "Functionalists")
* Endorsement of religion and/or religious people. (What we might call "Religion is Good" types)
* Criticism of religion and/or religious people. (What we might call "Religion is Bad" types)
For ease of categorization, writers who use these modes will also be called proponents, detractors or functionalists (who can be pro, anti or neutral).

===Religion as a story device/Functionalists===
Compared to the two types of writers found below, these writers are usually just attempting to model their work after real-world [[Mythology]] and are frequently attempting to keep their views of Religion separate from their work. Frequently comes in one of two subspecies:
* The [[Standard Fantasy Setting]] default: The world is ruled by an ordinary polytheistic pantheon, usually close to some admixture of Norse and Greek mythologies. Some of them also have a Top God more powerful than all the others, and maybe the in-universe creator of everything who is mostly hands-off in cosmic affairs. The gods of these religions tend to focus on specific areas (gods of [[Paladin|Justice]] and [[Druid|Nature]] are common, for subtly obvious reasons) and frequently want their followers to propagate or promote these things.
* The kind of setting they wanted to make dictated the nature of the divine. For example, in [[Exalted]] just about all the figures anybody would call a "God" (besides the Exalted) are Useless, because the Exalted (which includes the Player Characters) are the guys who were made specifically to do whatever the gods needed them to do for reasons inherent to the setting, to go with the main theme of the setting for the PCs: "You can do ''almost anything'', except '''avoid the consequences of doing that anything'''".

===Religion as a Bad Thing/Detractors===
There are several writers of Science Fiction and Fantasy that are of the opinion "Religion Is Bad", having an axe to grind (sometimes warranted, sometimes not) with either one or more specific real-life religions. This is more common in Sci-Fi than fantasy because the focus on science appeals to the naturalist, empiricist and/or humanist worldview of such writers, with the supernatural being seen as an obstacle to that. Despite that, the view is found among some fantasy authors as well, such as Philip Pullman (who wrote the "His Dark Materials" series as atheistic pushback against C.S Lewis' "Chronicles of Narnia" series). Whatever the genre, this comes in flavors of "The Gods are Incompetent" (more on that below), "The Gods Don't Exist" or "The Gods are Evil". Cosmic Horror also tends to use the latter two or combine them into "The Gods are actually Incomprehensible and Destructive Aliens" ([[H.P. Lovecraft]] himself was an avowed anti-religious atheist - which is why cults are recurring villains in his stories). This also has the side effect of inclining science fiction towards an atheistic perspective.

Another major component is personal issues of the author such as grievance or prejudice, but that's case-by-case and a major can of worms. A writer could resent a specific religion or even the higher power a religion reveres (though opposition to a god or gods is called anti-theistic, not anti-religious), and single them out in their works due to personal bias or promoting an agenda. Worst case scenario, the story is an anti-religious wish fulfillment story or power fantasy; two examples are as Frank Miller's "Holy Terror" comics against Islam (which Frank admitted was a careless response to the September 11 attacks) and Garth Ennis' "Preacher" comics - and their live-action adaptation - against Christianity (Garth was likely influenced by misblaming Christianity for the Irish conflict The Troubles).

Whatever the motivation, writers saying this message either model their fictional religions on the worst excesses of real world religious people, use a distorted version of the actual religion or a fictional stand-in (the former is occasionally exaggerated and the latter two are often strawmen). The most frequently targeted religions are Christianity, Islam, faiths that practiced human sacrifice such as the Aztec's and Scientology. Cults, especially those with beliefs that mainstream religions consider unorthodox or outright heretical, are especially fertile ground for this message, albeit running the risk of being misapplied to tar other groups with the same brush.

===Religion as a Good Thing/Proponents===
There are several Science Fiction and Fantasy writers who either are religious themselves and want to promote their worldview, look upon religion positively and put that into the story or both. This is more common in Fantasy than Sci-fi, partly because with the supernatural being THE fundamental element of the genre, this gives opportunities to explore many aspects of religiosity. This is less common in science-fiction, but not unheard of, such as Carl Sagan's novel "Contact" where God's signature is found in the digits of pi. These authors usually put more thought into their fictional religion plus its central figure (although they have a tendency to go all "Crystal Dragon Jesus"; that is, resemble real-life religions but with a few details changed), and try and have it be at least a somewhat good influence, although religious institutions and leaders are usually hit-and-miss affairs.

Some people make a fictional setting with figures from real-world religions, either in the real-world or [[CS Lewis|an alternate world like Narnia]]. Others use fictional religions that either visually resemble real-life religions or figures from them. Religions that often get this treatment are the Abrahamic faiths (most often Christianity), Greek mythology, Egyptian mythology and Norse mythology (albeit often a sanitized version of the latter three). In other cases they all but abandon any form of subtlety, with the fictional religion being distinguished from the real-world religion by only a handful of minor changes. Naturally, those kinds of works tend to come off as preachy, to say the least.

Another route this uses is the route that faith itself provides the power as per "[[Belief Function|Belief Function]]" (think Morpheus' "your mind makes it real" quote, but applying at the cosmological level). In fact, Warhammer often goes the route that the gods are powered by faith as well as from their sphere of influence which has either [[Sigmar|caused some people have risen to godhood]] or [[Ynnead|caused new gods to be born in the setting]]. In fact, this has proven the greatest weapon against Chaos in every Warhammer setting (and why the Emperor's plan to starve the Chaos Gods with atheism was doomed to fail from the start).

===Somewhat special cases===

One somewhat special case is the "Religion of Evil"; in many settings, there is a religion that is explicitly capital E Evil and seeks one of the usual "Card Carrying Villain" goals of Control, Conquest, Corruption, or Destruction. Frequently has some admixture of the worst aspects of Roman Paganism, Norse practices, the Aztec, Scientology and/or the various Abrahamic religions. They also often draw from those found in the writings of H.P Lovecraft. If this cult directly worships an individual Evil God, expect whatever makes sense for that deity to be some form of destructive activity--e.g., the cult of the God of Murder demands human sacrifice on a regular basis, with a certain portion of that explicitly being not-careful-enough cultists. Regardless, Religions of Evil can show up in all three above modes, and usually has a special purpose in all three:

* All three types need bad guys. In particular, a group who by definition is Evil is always good for some no-need-to-worry-about-the-ethics-or-morality-of-killing fodder (based on the idea that everyone in is group is evil because you have to do evil to be part of the group).
* Religion is Bad types tend to use them to say either "while they're all Bad, some are worse then others", that "Religion can be used to justify anything", use it as a strawman to tar all with the same brush or they have a personal axe to grind (either against an entire religion, a group within that religion or specific religious people the author dislikes).
* Religion is Good types or the sincerely religious tend to use them as analogies with fanaticism, criticize Real World cults, compare different beliefs or deal with negative aspects of religion (occasionally making jabs at competitive religions, or fellow believers the author disagrees with). Another approach is to have a Religion of Good fighting against a Religion of Evil - either as the heroes of the story or a valued ally - to say "there is good religion, so don't tar all with the same negative brush".
** As a side note, a lot of fantasy has moved slightly away from pure Religions of Evil, for much the same reason as [[Always Chaotic Evil]] races (questions of whether this fosters prejudice against real-life groups and audiences and authors demanding more motive for their villains). While there are still plenty of them, they usually add some nuance that makes them at least morally neutral under their own lights. Popular options are for them to be an off-shoot/subset of another religion and/or be taking vengeance for an injustice (real or perceived, both of which have '''plenty''' of real-life precedent).

[[Urban Fantasy]] writers are another special case, since almost all Urban Fantasy is set in something that might be called "the real world with a twist", with all the usual political trouble that implies. As a result, they can take one of a few routes:
* The most common route is "there are many possible explanations" and vague things up as much as possible ([[True Faith|Faith]] being the power that repels [[Vampire]]s rather than than a cross having any actual connection to a deity is a popular one).
* The second most common route (albeit rarer outside of Cosmic Horror) is the "Religion as a Bad Thing" route. The story is straight up [[Imperial Truth|atheistic/"Religion is Bad" propaganda]] for the more preachy (pun intended) anti-religious writers. It's also frequently used by writers going for [[Edgy|"edgy"]] stories with religious subject matter; in practice, both most often target Christianity or any contemporary cults. On that note, any fictional religions or cults are usually thinly-veiled stand-ins for real-life ones.
* Some Urban Fantasy works with a clear correct religion exist thanks to the above mentioned sincerely religious authors, which are typically [[Chick Tracts|barely veiled proselytizing]] or [[Twilight|just straight up terrible]], though [[Monster Hunter International|there are some good ones]].
* The fourth route, taken most notably by [[Supers|DC and Marvel comics]] among others, is to take an "All Myths are True" approach: All religions are sort of true, but none have any exclusivity to the Truth, so Thor and Athena might have the Archangel Michael on speeddial when the Orochi teams up with Apep to get up to no good and start making trouble in their neighborhoods (because "Mikey really likes kicking serpent tail, and gets annoyed when we don't at least try to invite him to an evil serpent ass-kicking."). Differs from the "vague things up" route by being clearer on some details, and also much more gonzo. The Abrahamic God is the exception here: He's usually kept especially vague, albeit more powerful (and yet infinitely less accessible) than anyone else in the setting, and only referred to by some codephrase (Marvel likes "The One Above All", DC generally goes for "The Presence" or "whatever is behind the Source Wall").

===Miscellaneous Observations===

Doing the "The Gods are Incompetent" thing (the similar but different "The Gods are Insane", "The Gods Are Assholes" and "The Gods Don't Actually Do Anything" routes also falls under this umbrella) can go into any of the three modes; in a sincere monotheist's (such as Christian) work, it can be a "Take That" to polytheistic religions; in a "Religion is Bad" atheist's, it can be one to religion in general; in a Buddhist-influenced work, it can be a part of the whole "even the Gods are tied up in the Wheel of Karma" concept; and, even if the author is not pushing any religious message in any way, there's a neutral, plot-structural reason to go "Incompetent Gods": it can make the adventurers the Most Competent People Available since if that wasn't the case there wouldn't be anything for the adventurers to do.

If a work has multiple writers, (as frequently happens with RPG and Wargame settings, and quite a few popular SciFi/Fantasy ones as well) there's a tendency for the writers to try and pull the setting into one of the other two "modes" depending on their personal views. This leads to the theme changing from one side to the other as the story progresses. A recent example is [[World of Warcraft|the spate of retcons to the cosmology of the Warcraft universe]] and the morality of its fundamental forces/dominant higher powers, the Light and the Void. If the story doesn't get focused on a pro-religion or anti-religion message, it may end up swinging back and forth between both sides or settle in a mid-point which doesn't take a strong stance either way.

Note that members of the "Religion is Bad" and "Religion is Good" brigades will get involved in arguments over the relative morality or "goodness" of various factions in the story and the accuracy of any messages a writer presents. Often history buffs will throw their hat into the ring as well.

==Examples of /tg/ connected fictional religions==
===Warhammer 40k===
* The [[Imperial Truth]] was originally the Emperor's plan on beliefs, which he and his servants propagated throughout the galaxy during the Great Crusade. Attempting to wean mankind away from Chaos and being a firm member of the "Religion is Bad" brigade, the Emperor proclaimed there are no gods, and religion had to be abolished willingly or by force while science or reason are to be used for explaining the universe and morality. Everything transpired according to his design, except theistic religiosity in the 40k universe is the best weapon against Chaos so Emps' interstellar state atheism policy gave them a major opening. Things went from bad to worse when people started looking up to the Emperor as a god himself, [[Exterminatus|he responded accordingly]], and the Chaos Gods got a new tool in the form of [[Lorgar]]. After the Horus Heresy and the Emperor's removal from galactic politics: the Imperial Truth was slowly shelved in favor of the Imperial Cult, to the point that espousing the teachings of the Truth is ironically considered heresy. Only a few practitioners of the Imperial Truth remain, most notably the Custodes and the Space Marines (both of whom know The Emperor better than anybody to worship him as a god. Plus, their religious autonomy.).
** The [[Imperial Cult]] is the present-day religion of the Imperium of Man, and is a mix of several Abrahamic Religions along with copious amounts of warmongering, fanaticism and xenophobia. Derived from the Lectitio Divinatus penned by [[Lorgar]] pre-HH, the Cult decrees that because the Emperor is capable of all these miracles and power: he ''must'' be a god, and why you should worship and pledge loyalty to him. Its a complete 180 from the Emperor's original teachings, and has simultaneously been responsible for damning and saving the Imperium past the clusterfuck of the Horus Heresy. It's unknown whether the Emperor still abhors godhood and religion and would abolish it the moment he could, or if he's resigned himself to becoming the very thing he fought against for mankind to persevere in these trying times. Whatever the case, he didn't want to be a god, but now he has no choice but to become one.
** The [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Cult Mechanicus]] (Machine Cult) is the religion of the Adeptus Mechanicus, placing a heavy emphasis on machines, viewing them as gifts from the Machine God called "The Omnissiah" Officially, the Omnissiah is The Emperor, which allows the Mechanicus to sidestep the more puritan pundits of the Imperial Cult (we worship The Emprah, just not how you do it). Unofficially, the Omnissiah may or may not be the C'tan god: The Void Dragon. It also has a high emphasis on the collection of knowledge, and one of the Admech's roles in the galaxy is to explore remote and uncharted regions of space to find and search for knowledge that has been lost throughout the millennia. The last of these, is guidelines on machines and knowledge. Officially, heretic(tek) and xeno works are to be abhorred and disposed of, viewing them as perversions of the holy Machine God's works. Unofficially however, more liberally-minded and higher-ranked Magos would happily hoard heretek/xeno works, seeing their potential over the more restricted and constrained works of the Mechanicus.

* Chaos is a violent and complicated henotheistic (believing in multiple gods but only worshipping one) or polytheistic religion with dozens, if not hundreds of interpretations. Even then, there's more sub-cults that worship their particular god in a specific way, either minutely or vastly different from everyone else among followers of the Big 4. And this doesn't even get into the realm of Chaos Undivided (which worships the concept of Chaos itself, instead of the individual gods) and [[Malal]]. Chaos has very little established guidelines regarding worship, apart from their patron god's/gods' general likes/dislikes, so any religious practices or rituals are either based on commands from the god/s or up to the imagination of the cult.
** Interestingly, there is a Space Marine of the Chaos faction who follows the Imperial Truth, and that is [[Fabius Bile]].

* All Greenskins worship Gork and Mork (jury's out on whether the [[Gretchin Revolutionary Committee]] do), but are too disorganized to have anything like a formal religion, though they do make effigies of Gork and Mork and call on them. The closest thing they have to tenants is that Gork favors violence, Mork favors cunning. Greenskins have gotten into fights over this, but violence is part of their nature and that of their gods. While they fight over religion, they also fight over almost any dispute anyway, and may even start a religious argument just to enjoy a good fight among themselves (though the only theological argument they can formulate is "is Gork the god of cunning or is Mork?" or vica versa). On the surface, religion does not play a big-enough role in Ork society compared to other races, being just another outlet for Orks to fight about. But if [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull]] is any indication: religion can have a great impact on Orks, with him being becoming one of the greatest Warlords in the galaxy, primarily because he thinks he's personally blessed by Gork and Mork themselves. So if you throw in the Orks' gestalt field into the mix, its likely that its not that religion doesn't matter to them, it's under-utilized.

* The Tau's creed "The [[Greater Good]]" is a specie-wide philosophy that was adopted ever since the initial unification of the Tau in the olden days. In a nutshell, the Greater Good emphasizes the co-existence of all Tau and sapient life in general into working together for a common goal to further the Tau's progress, seeing everyone's potential and hoping to utilize that for an, ahem, greater good. Personal religion isn't forbidden, but it must not contradict or override The Greater Good, and must be disregarded if it ever does so. Technically, this means Tau can be religious or non-religious, as the Greater Good is not a religion (due to lacking an afterlife and supernatural aspects, with the closest things to figures of worship being the Ethereals). This sounds all fine and dandy, but the Ethereal class, who are responsible for maintaining The Greater Good, have been shown to be less benevolent than believed and have been using their unnaturally powerful charisma to subtly oppress the Tau and use them to further their own agendas.
**The Farsight Enclaves, who have thrown off Ethereal rule, are the exception in that they have rejected The Greater Good, seeing it as the method of oppression used to keep the T'au under complete control of the ethereals. Due to this, if one considers the Greater Good a religion, The Enclaves are irreligious.
**As of the 4th Sphere Expansion disaster, Chaos Tau are starting to become a thing.
**At one point, the Earth Caste gathered Genestealer-infected Tau and studied them to see what would happen. Of course, a Genestealer cult developed and naturally they violently escaped control and surveillance. According to rumors, they've even produced a Genestealer-infected Ethereal.

* The Eldar have varying views on religiosity depending on their type. Their religion is polytheistic, with henotheistic offshoots, and Ausryan was the highest ranking god. However all of the Eldar gods were murder-raped to death by Slaanesh except for Isha (taken by Nurgle), Khaine (shattered and flung into realspace), Cegorach (hiding in the Webway) and Ynnead (born long after Slaanesh's birth). Their Pantheon's religious practices aren't fleshed out save for those of Cegorach, Isha, and Khaine, via the Harlequins and Aspect Warriors. With most of their gods out of commission, Eldar religious worship is of a deistic bent.
** Craftworlders and Exodites almost exclusively worship the original Eldar pantheon, though some engage in henotheistic worship of only one of the gods. Asuryan is more popular among Craftworlders while Isha is among Exodites, though nearly all give Khaine some tribute during war.
** Corsairs are all over the place, though Khaine is a popular choice given their more militant nature.
** Being agents of the Laughing God himself, the Harlequins' worship is centered around [[Cegorach]], whilst still paying minor tribute to the other gods.
** The new faith around Ynnead, the Ynnari, is rapidly growing but have yet to establish teachings or rituals.
** Unique among the Eldar, the Dark Eldar are irreligious for the most part and while they believe some gods exist they're too self-centered to worship them (this is canon). They're often also anti-religious to boot; a major landmark of Commorragh is a landfill of religious icons called Iconoclast's Mound, and one Wych cult - the Pain Eternal - revolves around killing religious people and destroying shrines and holy sites. The sole exception, except for Dark Eldar who stop being Dark Eldar, are the [[Incubi]] who hold [[Khaine]] in high regard.
** The Ynnari have encountered atleast one ancient Craftworld that turned into an entire Genestealer cult in a misguided attempt to avoid getting their souls consumed by Slaanesh as their ship had no infinity circuit present. We're not sure if this worked to any capacity (if at all, given the Hive Mind does not absorb souls), but they were taken down by the Ynnari for obvious reasons.
** There are numerous rumors of a very small number of Chaos Eldar, but these are barely fleshed out and heavily classified in-universe. There have been verified Nurgle-worshipping Eldar and persistent rumors that some have embraced Slaanesh without becoming soul-food. Apart from this, some Dark Eldar have been willing to summon Chaos Daemons or work with Chaos worshippers ([[Fabius Bile|or allies of Chaos]]) to further their own ends.

* While the Necrontyr had religions before certain [[C'tan|star entities]] [[Necrons|roboticizied them]], those aren't fleshed out or detailed. Its also heavily implied the C'tan co-opted the Necrontyr religion beforehand. With the change to Necrons taking the higher though processes of most of them, any Necrons who can comprehend faith and religiosity either worship the C'tan or have become irreligious.

* The Tyranids themselves are irreligious, being spehss bugs and all, but understand at least a few of the advantages of religion. [[Genestealer]]s infect people and together they establish cults on targeted worlds, such as one worshipping "Children of the Stars", a perversion of the Imperial Cult (such as one that worships a [[Swarmlord|four-armed]] version of the Emperor) or something else like "Celebrants of Nihilism" (yes, that's a canon Genestealer cult name). Psychic influence is often involved and, notably, the Genestealers do not consider themselves gods. Once the Tyranids arrive en-masse, the cult-gets assimilated along with all non-Tyranids willingly or not. An interesting tidbit is that the Hive Mind stops the Tyranids from attacking the cultists in early stages of the invasion and leads them on, only to later override the Genestealers' wills and and make them slaughter the cultists.

===Dungeons and Dragons===
* Among Dungeons and Dragons settings, [[Planescape]], [[Eberron]], and [[Pathfinder]] are notable for having some coherent things that could be called "Religions", rather then the usual generic Pantheism.
** Most of Planescape's Factions effectively count as religions, to the point they can produce [[Cleric]]s ([[Planescape: Torment#Fall-From-Grace|Atheist ones at that]]). Yes, even the Athar. (Perhaps ''especially'' the Athar.)
** Half of Eberron's religions aren't worship of deities. The [[Blood of Vol]] seeks to unlock the divinity within one's self and rejects the gods (if they even exist) and the [[Path of Inspiration]] seeks to improve their next reincarnation. The Undying Court worships not gods but their undead ancestors that make up their government. The [[Path of Light]], [[Warforged_Mysteries#The_Becoming_God|Becoming God]] and [[Warforged_Mysteries#The_Reforged|Reforged]] all seek to ''create'' a deity. Even some interpretations of the [[Sovereign Host]], like the one most common among dragons, don't worship them as deities. Due to the way divine casting works in Eberron, all of these can produce divine casters.
** There's a handful of religions on [[Golarion]] that aren't merely worship of pantheons. The most prominent (read: Actually has mechanical support) is the [[Prophecies of Kalistrade]], which is basically fantasy [[Star Trek|Ferengi]].

* [[D20 Modern]]'s [[Urban Arcana]], unusually for urban fantasy, has D&D deities bleed into reality alongside the monsters. You are still able to play a <s>cleric</s> "acolyte" of any real world deity despite this.

===Star Wars===
* [[Star Wars]] is inconsistent on if the [[The Force]] is a religion. The Jedi and the Sith ''could'' both be considered religions as they are considered monastic, but mix in several other traits such as being meritocratic (Jedi) and kraterocratic (Sith) and Lucas himself has axed at least one prototyped book for portraying them too much as a religion. On the other hand, there's the Imperial officer in ''"A New Hope"'' who disses Vader's ways as "sad devotion to ancient religion", only to get [[Meme|chided for his lack of faith with a Force choke]]. It's also notable that the Sith were former Jedi who left the Jedi path for several reasons including [[Heresy|disagreements over the teachings of that creed]]. Aside from that, religion is nearly always a non-human tradition, something noted in a culture's historical background and never seen implying its extinction, or a scam. The religiously linked "damn" and "hell" are the two real world swear words that exist in-universe, purely because Han Solo used them in the films and while a young Anakin told Padme about "angels" in the prequel film these are later revealed to be in-universe aliens, albeit mysterious and powerful ones.
** There are rare exceptions where a religion is fleshed out and explored, and the writing goes various directions for better or worse. A notable example is the aggressive polytheistic religion of the antagonistic Yuuzhan Vong from the EU (which the story gradually revealed was long ago perverted from benevolent roots, and this perverted form takes a few cues from Islam, Maori beliefs and Aztec mythology).

===Star Trek===
* Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry had a low opinion of religion and in his vision humanity had done away with it and was better off for it and he had no interest in adding it to the aliens. However, some of the cast and crew disagreed and occasionally references to religions found their way into the show, which increased after Roddenberry's death. The Federation's culture is distinctly humanistic (extending the concept to alien species) in its outlook, in which religion is regarded as a thing of the past.
** While there are plenty of "Godlike" entities in Star Trek, almost all are treated as Sufficiently Advanced Aliens in the Arthur C. Clarke sense--and in particular, in ST:TNG, the flip side, that Picard and his crew are frequently shown to look like Gods to sufficiently primitive aliens, is gone into in more than one episode.
** The primary religion of the Federation's main frenemies, the Klingons, is a deistic religion where a Klingon warrior killed their gods, and in their belief Klingons who live according to those tenets get to live in a pseudo-Valhalla.
** The Bajorans are a highly religious alien race, with the majority following peaceful teachings and a minority of violent extremists.
*** Of some note, the Bajoran religion is of interest because their "Gods" actually exist, and can be (somewhat incomprehensibly) talked to (a rarity outside of [[Science Fantasy]]). In other words, they were frequently a method of having some religion vs. science debates where the divine entity (A) explicitly exists, (B) is explainable as "sufficiently advanced and unusual aliens", and (C) aren't jerks, just bad at communication with those of us who experience time linearly--in other words, with a deck that wasn't quite as badly stacked. The religiosity was meant to be as a way of contrasting the Starfleet personnel with the native population and to draw a parallel between Bajorans under the Cardassian Occupation and various real world recently freed oppressed religious-slash-ethnic groups.
** <s>In the fifth Star Trek movie, ''"The Final Frontier"'', some of the crew steal the Enterprise to look for God and instead find a powerful alien being impersonating God in the center of the universe</s> '''Just like there is no live-action movie of Avatar: The Last Airbender, there is totally no Star Trek 5!'''

===World of Darkness===
* Very large books could be written about religion and [[World of Darkness]]/Chronicles of Darkness. We'll just cover a few highlights:
** From [[Vampire: The Requiem]], there's the the Lancea et Sanctum, which might be best described as "Christianity for Vampires", and the Circle of the Crone, which is "Pagan Vampires". Both have Vampire miracles on tap (pun intended).
** [[Hunter: The Vigil]] has various religious organizations among the Compacts and Conspiracies, some very similar to real world ones, others...not so much.
** [[Mage: The Ascension]] has various religious Traditions, portrayed in that highly-stereotypical and highly-depending-on-the-author way typical of old WoD.

==See also==
* [[Mythology]]
* [[True Faith]], a common mechanic to weaponize religion in [[Urban Fantasy]].

[[Category:Not related]]
[[Category:History]]

Religion

2021-02-13T14:08:13Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* Religion as a Bad Thing/Detractors */

{{flamewar}}
{{topquote|Science investigates; religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge, which is power; religion gives man wisdom, which is control. Science deals mainly with facts; religion deals mainly with values. The two are not rivals.|Martin Luther King, Jr}}

:'''Dracula''': ''I was called here by, huuuuumans, who wish to pay me tribute!''
:'''Richter Belmont''': ''Tribute?! You steal men's souls! And make them your slaves!''
:'''Dracula''': ''Perhaps the same could be said of all religions.''
::--An excerpt from the infamous exchange that also gave us "What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets" in [[Castlevania#Castlevania:_Symphony_Of_The_Night_.28Castlevania_9.29|Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.]]

Because it's important to several settings and RPG systems, particularly ones that are high-profile or relevant to /tg/, we have a religion article. Let's try and keep it focused on the directly-related-to-/tg/ stuff and not descend into the pure [[skub]] that can arise in discussions of real-life religions, okay?

==Definition of Religion==
Almost since the inception of the term, scholars have failed to agree on a definition of religion. While there are some belief systems that always count as religions, some have applied the term to various things such as political ideologies, or groups when they reach a certain point. There are however two general definition systems: the sociological/functional and the phenomenological/philosophical.

The two most widely accepted are:
* "a unified system of beliefs and practices relative to sacred things, that is to say things set apart and forbidden - beliefs and practices which unite into one single moral community called a church, all those who adhere to them."
* "a comprehensive worldview or 'metaphysical moral vision' that is accepted as binding because it is held to be in itself basically true and just even if all dimensions of it cannot be either fully confirmed or refuted".

As stated before, one common element that every religion which fits the criteria has is humanity's relation to supernatural forces, as all of them have at least one [[God|god]] and/or an afterlife even where there are exceptions; Buddhism doesn't have any gods or its own idea of the cosmos' origins but has afterlives and the existence of the eternal soul (unless a persons achieves nirvana), and Taoism doesn't have an afterlife in the conventional sense but is pantheistic and has supernatural beings. Religions with a God/god/gods fall under monotheistic (one God) or polytheistic (more than one god), though some of the latter have a variant called henotheistic (multiple gods but only one of them is served). Interestingly, most polytheistic religions have an all-powerful Creator God as the supreme authority in the cosmos who also created the other gods (such as Ptah from Egyptian mythology, Brahma in Hinduism and Nyame from West African mythology for Ghana's Akan people).

Like other terms for heavily [[SJW|debated]] [[communism|subjects]], religion and religious have also been used as insults or Snarl Words in social and political discussions (especially from the 20th century and onwards) to ridicule groups openly promoting something the user disagrees with. This snarl creates a caricature of the group to smear them by association with the worst excesses/negative stereotypes of religious people (like being preachy, judgmental, irrational, hypocritical).

==List of Real-Life Religions==

Too many to list, even without debates about the term. In lieu of a list on this site, here are two complied lists that should cover everything that fits the bill. Otherwise, check out the [[Mythology]] page.

* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_religions_and_spiritual_traditions Wikipedia's list of religions and spiritual traditions]
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_religious_groups For a simplified version from Wikipedia that focuses more on major religions]

==Religion vs. Mythology==
While [[Mythology|mythologies]] aren't religions in and of themselves, every religion has a mythology. While mythologies are merely the accounts of supernatural events, religions add rituals, practices and hierarchies that link those mythologies directly to the lives of their believers in one form or another, typically by describing how to properly serve to a god (or multiple gods, it depends) a significant role in the mythology a given religion is derived from. [[Skub|Whatever the source]], the mythology almost always predates the religion. As a result, especially since the Fantasy genre deals in supernatural beings and forces, most if not all fantasy settings have religions. Science fiction does to a lesser degree, mostly because during the Golden Age of sci-fi empiricists and secular humanists were attracted to the genre and their views often seeped into their stories. Despite this, given that most real-life societies have had religions playing a role in or since their founding, religions are still found in sci-fi.

Religions involves belief systems and practices, where an adherent can call upon the power/being the religion is focused on to give them aid in [[cleric|various]] [[Paladin|ways]], depending at the very least on the religion and the task in question. Given that religions are about people's place in the world, how it was made, ideas on how life should be lived and how humans should relate to the supernatural, they have major implications for societies. Given that people can become [[Exarch|dangerously single-minded]] about a cause, people can be become extremists about their religion, regardless of the fact that [[Heironeous|some]] are more benevolent than [[Asmodeus|others]] and in numerous cases even [[Heresy|if it involves going against the religion's teachings]]; in conjunction with the above this means religious conflicts can become widespread, long-lasting, cause carnage and also involve other elements such as politics- both in fantasy and in the real world.

==Role in Society==
{{skubby}}
While it varies depending on the society and the religion in question, at least as long as human civilization has existed, religiosity has existed and has almost always been interconnected. There is no human civilization in real-life where religion was never part of its development; every society that pursued secularization or [[Imperial Truth|state atheism]] started off at least mostly religious.

A person's religious beliefs (for or against) are a major factor in their worldview, often being the undercurrent for all others. This is because this belief shapes people's views on big issues such as the purpose of life, how life should be lived in relation to oneself and others and what happens to people after they die. On the upside, this often leads to teachings with the goal of unity, peace and co-operation as per the teachings of most religions (some of which also make their way into non-religious systems). On the downside, this can lead to clashes over carrying out the will of the Powers-that-be, which religion should be followed or whether or not people should follow a god or religion at all. This can involve arguments and factionalizing, or worst case scenarios like pogroms and wars. Since they are an overarching and fairly common element in cultures, they often appear or are referenced in fiction.

In many societies throughout history, medicine and religion were interconnected. In many ancient religions, the clergy were also the doctors or well-versed in medical knowledge of the time, tending to physical health as well as spiritual health. A lot of the bedrock of modern medical science was established by religious people (such as the friar Gregor Mendel who founded the scientific field of genetics, and the Christian biologist/chemist Louis Pasteur who helped pioneer vaccination and preservation of food among other things - in fact, the process of ''"pasteurization"'' is named after him). In numerous parts of the world today, numerous hospitals were based around specific religious people or founded by people from a specific religious group, and many religious charities, such as the Salvation Army, have a medical branch.

Some religions have also codified the concept of charity; in these cases, religion and charity have been inextricably entangled throughout their long history. For example, the three Abrahamic religions Christianity, Islam, and Judaism each have doctrines that require their members to do good for others in various ways such as caring for the destitute or those in need.

Throughout history religions have frequently been enshrined in law as the "state religion", giving them special privileges such as extensive influence over the government or tax exemptions. In some cases, the clergy or a religious institution are the government (usually on behalf of the Powers-that-be for the religion in question) in a system known as theocracy. Today, several theocracies exist, with the two full examples being Vatican City and Iran.

Within the last few centuries, due to events such as the French Revolution, there has also been a significant amount of anti-religious sentiment, which regards religion as at best redundant and at worst destructive (beyond historical grievances with specific groups within religions, reasons for this view and whether or not those arguments have any merit, shall not be discussed here). For the most part, a combination of people identifying more with their culture or nation than their religion and the concept that religion and functions of state should not interfere with each other has turned into more of a "live and let live" mentality that doesn't really support or oppose any one religion and only reacts when said religions begin actively defying the state or the state starts bringing the boot down on religion. Most of the world's population is religious, with the amount of piety varying from country to country, and of course there are plenty of non-religious people who don't necessarily oppose religion despite not following any themselves.

Throughout history, numerous tyrannical regimes have tried to restrict or stamp out religions. This is usually because religious teachings put the figure/object of worship before the state in a conflict of interest and most religions' teachings condemn tyranny or [[Slaanesh|the vices tyrannical leaders indulge]]. Other reasons include tyrants dislike being answerable to anyone besides themselves and a tyrant may have some form of anti-religious prejudice. While nations have usually tried to block specific religions deemed "false" (read: religions opposing the state-sponsored religion in any way), several nations have tried purge and/or even replace it with an atheistic system, albeit with horrifying [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/League_of_Militant_Atheists results] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khmer_Rouge_rule_of_Cambodia#Religious_persecutions each] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_atheism#Human_rights time], often practicing the traits that religion gets criticized for by its detractors (as while Marx's "opiate of the masses" quote was just passive theory, [http://www.stephenhicks.org/2013/02/18/marxs-philosophy-and-the-necessity-of-violent-politics/ he flip-flopped on whether he endorsed revolutionary violence for his cause]).
Best case scenario, they sidegrade from one set of problems to another as cults of personality (commonly ones based on the ruler in charge) spring up to exploit the newly created power vacuum while believers who survive the regime try to continue their activities in secret. Worst case scenario, the society crumbles as the people degenerate into a [[Commorragh|violent, fractious and nihilistic mass]].

Aside from the aforementioned theocracies, the most religious nations are countries such as Brazil in South America or Zambia in Africa (Zambia even has a state religion alongside a law that allows for freedom of religion). China is - at the time this was written - the world's least religious and most atheistic country (followed by Japan and Sweden, the situation around North Korea is [[Skub|debatable]], since even though they violently suppress religions [https://www.foxnews.com/world/north-korea-publicly-executes-80-some-for-videos-or-bibles-report-says to the point that merely having copies of religious texts can be grounds for execution], they also have the Kim Cult blended with the Marxist offshoot ideology Juche).

==How this impacts /tg/==
A few major ways. Since most if not every society in real-life has had religion either be the basis for its founding or play a role in it - in addition to the various roles religion continues to have in society - religion is just as involved in the backstory or current lore of settings. There are three major "modes" of /tg/ settings and related fictions:
* Purely functional use of religion as a story device. (What we might call "Functionalists")
* Endorsement of religion and/or religious people. (What we might call "Religion is Good" types)
* Criticism of religion and/or religious people. (What we might call "Religion is Bad" types)
For ease of categorization, writers who use these modes will also be called proponents, detractors or functionalists (who can be pro, anti or neutral).

===Religion as a story device/Functionalists===
Compared to the two types of writers found below, these writers are usually just attempting to model their work after real-world [[Mythology]] and are frequently attempting to keep their views of Religion separate from their work. Frequently comes in one of two subspecies:
* The [[Standard Fantasy Setting]] default: The world is ruled by an ordinary polytheistic pantheon, usually close to some admixture of Norse and Greek mythologies. Some of them also have a Top God more powerful than all the others, and maybe the in-universe creator of everything who is mostly hands-off in cosmic affairs. The gods of these religions tend to focus on specific areas (gods of [[Paladin|Justice]] and [[Druid|Nature]] are common, for subtly obvious reasons) and frequently want their followers to propagate or promote these things.
* The kind of setting they wanted to make dictated the nature of the divine. For example, in [[Exalted]] just about all the figures anybody would call a "God" (besides the Exalted) are Useless, because the Exalted (which includes the Player Characters) are the guys who were made specifically to do whatever the gods needed them to do for reasons inherent to the setting, to go with the main theme of the setting for the PCs: "You can do ''almost anything'', except '''avoid the consequences of doing that anything'''".

===Religion as a Bad Thing/Detractors===
There are several writers of Science Fiction and Fantasy that are of the opinion "Religion Is Bad", having an axe to grind (sometimes warranted, sometimes not) with either one or more specific real-life religions. This is more common in Sci-Fi than fantasy because the focus on science appeals to the naturalist, empiricist and/or humanist worldview of such writers, with the supernatural being seen as an obstacle to that. Despite that, the view is found among some fantasy authors as well, such as Philip Pullman (who wrote the "His Dark Materials" series as atheistic pushback against C.S Lewis' "Chronicles of Narnia" series). Whatever the genre, this comes in flavors of "The Gods are Incompetent" (more on that below), "The Gods Don't Exist" or "The Gods are Evil". Cosmic Horror also tends to use the latter two or combine them into "The Gods are actually Incomprehensible and Destructive Aliens" ([[H.P. Lovecraft]] himself was an avowed anti-religious atheist - which is why cults are recurring villains in his stories). This also has the side effect of inclining science fiction towards an atheistic perspective.

Another major component is personal issues of the author such as grievance or prejudice, but that's case-by-case and a major can of worms. A writer could resent a specific religion or even the higher power a religion reveres (though opposition to a god or gods is called anti-theistic, not anti-religious), and single them out in their works due to personal bias or promoting an agenda. Worst case scenario, the story is an anti-religious wish fulfillment story or power fantasy; two examples are as Frank Miller's "Holy Terror" comics against Islam (which Frank admitted was a careless response to the September 11 attacks) and Garth Ennis' "Preacher" comics - and their live-action adaptation - against Christianity (Garth was likely influenced by misblaming religion for the Irish conflict The Troubles).

Whatever the motivation, writers saying this message either model their fictional religions on the worst excesses of real world religious people, use a distorted version of the actual religion or a fictional stand-in (the former is occasionally exaggerated and the latter two are often strawmen). The most frequently targeted religions are Christianity, Islam, faiths that practiced human sacrifice such as the Aztec's and Scientology. Cults, especially those with beliefs that mainstream religions consider unorthodox or outright heretical, are especially fertile ground for this message, albeit running the risk of being misapplied to tar other groups with the same brush.

===Religion as a Good Thing/Proponents===
There are several Science Fiction and Fantasy writers who either are religious themselves and want to promote their worldview, look upon religion positively and put that into the story or both. This is more common in Fantasy than Sci-fi, partly because with the supernatural being THE fundamental element of the genre, this gives opportunities to explore many aspects of religiosity. This is less common in science-fiction, but not unheard of, such as Carl Sagan's novel "Contact" where God's signature is found in the digits of pi. These authors usually put more thought into their fictional religion plus its central figure (although they have a tendency to go all "Crystal Dragon Jesus"; that is, resemble real-life religions but with a few details changed), and try and have it be at least a somewhat good influence, although religious institutions and leaders are usually hit-and-miss affairs.

Some people make a fictional setting with figures from real-world religions, either in the real-world or [[CS Lewis|an alternate world like Narnia]]. Others use fictional religions that either visually resemble real-life religions or figures from them. Religions that often get this treatment are the Abrahamic faiths (most often Christianity), Greek mythology, Egyptian mythology and Norse mythology (albeit often a sanitized version of the latter three). In other cases they all but abandon any form of subtlety, with the fictional religion being distinguished from the real-world religion by only a handful of minor changes. Naturally, those kinds of works tend to come off as preachy, to say the least.

Another route this uses is the route that faith itself provides the power as per "[[Belief Function|Belief Function]]" (think Morpheus' "your mind makes it real" quote, but applying at the cosmological level). In fact, Warhammer often goes the route that the gods are powered by faith as well as from their sphere of influence which has either [[Sigmar|caused some people have risen to godhood]] or [[Ynnead|caused new gods to be born in the setting]]. In fact, this has proven the greatest weapon against Chaos in every Warhammer setting (and why the Emperor's plan to starve the Chaos Gods with atheism was doomed to fail from the start).

===Somewhat special cases===

One somewhat special case is the "Religion of Evil"; in many settings, there is a religion that is explicitly capital E Evil and seeks one of the usual "Card Carrying Villain" goals of Control, Conquest, Corruption, or Destruction. Frequently has some admixture of the worst aspects of Roman Paganism, Norse practices, the Aztec, Scientology and/or the various Abrahamic religions. They also often draw from those found in the writings of H.P Lovecraft. If this cult directly worships an individual Evil God, expect whatever makes sense for that deity to be some form of destructive activity--e.g., the cult of the God of Murder demands human sacrifice on a regular basis, with a certain portion of that explicitly being not-careful-enough cultists. Regardless, Religions of Evil can show up in all three above modes, and usually has a special purpose in all three:

* All three types need bad guys. In particular, a group who by definition is Evil is always good for some no-need-to-worry-about-the-ethics-or-morality-of-killing fodder (based on the idea that everyone in is group is evil because you have to do evil to be part of the group).
* Religion is Bad types tend to use them to say either "while they're all Bad, some are worse then others", that "Religion can be used to justify anything", use it as a strawman to tar all with the same brush or they have a personal axe to grind (either against an entire religion, a group within that religion or specific religious people the author dislikes).
* Religion is Good types or the sincerely religious tend to use them as analogies with fanaticism, criticize Real World cults, compare different beliefs or deal with negative aspects of religion (occasionally making jabs at competitive religions, or fellow believers the author disagrees with). Another approach is to have a Religion of Good fighting against a Religion of Evil - either as the heroes of the story or a valued ally - to say "there is good religion, so don't tar all with the same negative brush".
** As a side note, a lot of fantasy has moved slightly away from pure Religions of Evil, for much the same reason as [[Always Chaotic Evil]] races (questions of whether this fosters prejudice against real-life groups and audiences and authors demanding more motive for their villains). While there are still plenty of them, they usually add some nuance that makes them at least morally neutral under their own lights. Popular options are for them to be an off-shoot/subset of another religion and/or be taking vengeance for an injustice (real or perceived, both of which have '''plenty''' of real-life precedent).

[[Urban Fantasy]] writers are another special case, since almost all Urban Fantasy is set in something that might be called "the real world with a twist", with all the usual political trouble that implies. As a result, they can take one of a few routes:
* The most common route is "there are many possible explanations" and vague things up as much as possible ([[True Faith|Faith]] being the power that repels [[Vampire]]s rather than than a cross having any actual connection to a deity is a popular one).
* The second most common route (albeit rarer outside of Cosmic Horror) is the "Religion as a Bad Thing" route. The story is straight up [[Imperial Truth|atheistic/"Religion is Bad" propaganda]] for the more preachy (pun intended) anti-religious writers. It's also frequently used by writers going for [[Edgy|"edgy"]] stories with religious subject matter; in practice, both most often target Christianity or any contemporary cults. On that note, any fictional religions or cults are usually thinly-veiled stand-ins for real-life ones.
* Some Urban Fantasy works with a clear correct religion exist thanks to the above mentioned sincerely religious authors, which are typically [[Chick Tracts|barely veiled proselytizing]] or [[Twilight|just straight up terrible]], though [[Monster Hunter International|there are some good ones]].
* The fourth route, taken most notably by [[Supers|DC and Marvel comics]] among others, is to take an "All Myths are True" approach: All religions are sort of true, but none have any exclusivity to the Truth, so Thor and Athena might have the Archangel Michael on speeddial when the Orochi teams up with Apep to get up to no good and start making trouble in their neighborhoods (because "Mikey really likes kicking serpent tail, and gets annoyed when we don't at least try to invite him to an evil serpent ass-kicking."). Differs from the "vague things up" route by being clearer on some details, and also much more gonzo. The Abrahamic God is the exception here: He's usually kept especially vague, albeit more powerful (and yet infinitely less accessible) than anyone else in the setting, and only referred to by some codephrase (Marvel likes "The One Above All", DC generally goes for "The Presence" or "whatever is behind the Source Wall").

===Miscellaneous Observations===

Doing the "The Gods are Incompetent" thing (the similar but different "The Gods are Insane", "The Gods Are Assholes" and "The Gods Don't Actually Do Anything" routes also falls under this umbrella) can go into any of the three modes; in a sincere monotheist's (such as Christian) work, it can be a "Take That" to polytheistic religions; in a "Religion is Bad" atheist's, it can be one to religion in general; in a Buddhist-influenced work, it can be a part of the whole "even the Gods are tied up in the Wheel of Karma" concept; and, even if the author is not pushing any religious message in any way, there's a neutral, plot-structural reason to go "Incompetent Gods": it can make the adventurers the Most Competent People Available since if that wasn't the case there wouldn't be anything for the adventurers to do.

If a work has multiple writers, (as frequently happens with RPG and Wargame settings, and quite a few popular SciFi/Fantasy ones as well) there's a tendency for the writers to try and pull the setting into one of the other two "modes" depending on their personal views. This leads to the theme changing from one side to the other as the story progresses. A recent example is [[World of Warcraft|the spate of retcons to the cosmology of the Warcraft universe]] and the morality of its fundamental forces/dominant higher powers, the Light and the Void. If the story doesn't get focused on a pro-religion or anti-religion message, it may end up swinging back and forth between both sides or settle in a mid-point which doesn't take a strong stance either way.

Note that members of the "Religion is Bad" and "Religion is Good" brigades will get involved in arguments over the relative morality or "goodness" of various factions in the story and the accuracy of any messages a writer presents. Often history buffs will throw their hat into the ring as well.

==Examples of /tg/ connected fictional religions==
===Warhammer 40k===
* The [[Imperial Truth]] was originally the Emperor's plan on beliefs, which he and his servants propagated throughout the galaxy during the Great Crusade. Attempting to wean mankind away from Chaos and being a firm member of the "Religion is Bad" brigade, the Emperor proclaimed there are no gods, and religion had to be abolished willingly or by force while science or reason are to be used for explaining the universe and morality. Everything transpired according to his design, except theistic religiosity in the 40k universe is the best weapon against Chaos so Emps' interstellar state atheism policy gave them a major opening. Things went from bad to worse when people started looking up to the Emperor as a god himself, [[Exterminatus|he responded accordingly]], and the Chaos Gods got a new tool in the form of [[Lorgar]]. After the Horus Heresy and the Emperor's removal from galactic politics: the Imperial Truth was slowly shelved in favor of the Imperial Cult, to the point that espousing the teachings of the Truth is ironically considered heresy. Only a few practitioners of the Imperial Truth remain, most notably the Custodes and the Space Marines (both of whom know The Emperor better than anybody to worship him as a god. Plus, their religious autonomy.).
** The [[Imperial Cult]] is the present-day religion of the Imperium of Man, and is a mix of several Abrahamic Religions along with copious amounts of warmongering, fanaticism and xenophobia. Derived from the Lectitio Divinatus penned by [[Lorgar]] pre-HH, the Cult decrees that because the Emperor is capable of all these miracles and power: he ''must'' be a god, and why you should worship and pledge loyalty to him. Its a complete 180 from the Emperor's original teachings, and has simultaneously been responsible for damning and saving the Imperium past the clusterfuck of the Horus Heresy. It's unknown whether the Emperor still abhors godhood and religion and would abolish it the moment he could, or if he's resigned himself to becoming the very thing he fought against for mankind to persevere in these trying times. Whatever the case, he didn't want to be a god, but now he has no choice but to become one.
** The [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Cult Mechanicus]] (Machine Cult) is the religion of the Adeptus Mechanicus, placing a heavy emphasis on machines, viewing them as gifts from the Machine God called "The Omnissiah" Officially, the Omnissiah is The Emperor, which allows the Mechanicus to sidestep the more puritan pundits of the Imperial Cult (we worship The Emprah, just not how you do it). Unofficially, the Omnissiah may or may not be the C'tan god: The Void Dragon. It also has a high emphasis on the collection of knowledge, and one of the Admech's roles in the galaxy is to explore remote and uncharted regions of space to find and search for knowledge that has been lost throughout the millennia. The last of these, is guidelines on machines and knowledge. Officially, heretic(tek) and xeno works are to be abhorred and disposed of, viewing them as perversions of the holy Machine God's works. Unofficially however, more liberally-minded and higher-ranked Magos would happily hoard heretek/xeno works, seeing their potential over the more restricted and constrained works of the Mechanicus.

* Chaos is a violent and complicated henotheistic (believing in multiple gods but only worshipping one) or polytheistic religion with dozens, if not hundreds of interpretations. Even then, there's more sub-cults that worship their particular god in a specific way, either minutely or vastly different from everyone else among followers of the Big 4. And this doesn't even get into the realm of Chaos Undivided (which worships the concept of Chaos itself, instead of the individual gods) and [[Malal]]. Chaos has very little established guidelines regarding worship, apart from their patron god's/gods' general likes/dislikes, so any religious practices or rituals are either based on commands from the god/s or up to the imagination of the cult.
** Interestingly, there is a Space Marine of the Chaos faction who follows the Imperial Truth, and that is [[Fabius Bile]].

* All Greenskins worship Gork and Mork (jury's out on whether the [[Gretchin Revolutionary Committee]] do), but are too disorganized to have anything like a formal religion, though they do make effigies of Gork and Mork and call on them. The closest thing they have to tenants is that Gork favors violence, Mork favors cunning. Greenskins have gotten into fights over this, but violence is part of their nature and that of their gods. While they fight over religion, they also fight over almost any dispute anyway, and may even start a religious argument just to enjoy a good fight among themselves (though the only theological argument they can formulate is "is Gork the god of cunning or is Mork?" or vica versa). On the surface, religion does not play a big-enough role in Ork society compared to other races, being just another outlet for Orks to fight about. But if [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull]] is any indication: religion can have a great impact on Orks, with him being becoming one of the greatest Warlords in the galaxy, primarily because he thinks he's personally blessed by Gork and Mork themselves. So if you throw in the Orks' gestalt field into the mix, its likely that its not that religion doesn't matter to them, it's under-utilized.

* The Tau's creed "The [[Greater Good]]" is a specie-wide philosophy that was adopted ever since the initial unification of the Tau in the olden days. In a nutshell, the Greater Good emphasizes the co-existence of all Tau and sapient life in general into working together for a common goal to further the Tau's progress, seeing everyone's potential and hoping to utilize that for an, ahem, greater good. Personal religion isn't forbidden, but it must not contradict or override The Greater Good, and must be disregarded if it ever does so. Technically, this means Tau can be religious or non-religious, as the Greater Good is not a religion (due to lacking an afterlife and supernatural aspects, with the closest things to figures of worship being the Ethereals). This sounds all fine and dandy, but the Ethereal class, who are responsible for maintaining The Greater Good, have been shown to be less benevolent than believed and have been using their unnaturally powerful charisma to subtly oppress the Tau and use them to further their own agendas.
**The Farsight Enclaves, who have thrown off Ethereal rule, are the exception in that they have rejected The Greater Good, seeing it as the method of oppression used to keep the T'au under complete control of the ethereals. Due to this, if one considers the Greater Good a religion, The Enclaves are irreligious.
**As of the 4th Sphere Expansion disaster, Chaos Tau are starting to become a thing.
**At one point, the Earth Caste gathered Genestealer-infected Tau and studied them to see what would happen. Of course, a Genestealer cult developed and naturally they violently escaped control and surveillance. According to rumors, they've even produced a Genestealer-infected Ethereal.

* The Eldar have varying views on religiosity depending on their type. Their religion is polytheistic, with henotheistic offshoots, and Ausryan was the highest ranking god. However all of the Eldar gods were murder-raped to death by Slaanesh except for Isha (taken by Nurgle), Khaine (shattered and flung into realspace), Cegorach (hiding in the Webway) and Ynnead (born long after Slaanesh's birth). Their Pantheon's religious practices aren't fleshed out save for those of Cegorach, Isha, and Khaine, via the Harlequins and Aspect Warriors. With most of their gods out of commission, Eldar religious worship is of a deistic bent.
** Craftworlders and Exodites almost exclusively worship the original Eldar pantheon, though some engage in henotheistic worship of only one of the gods. Asuryan is more popular among Craftworlders while Isha is among Exodites, though nearly all give Khaine some tribute during war.
** Corsairs are all over the place, though Khaine is a popular choice given their more militant nature.
** Being agents of the Laughing God himself, the Harlequins' worship is centered around [[Cegorach]], whilst still paying minor tribute to the other gods.
** The new faith around Ynnead, the Ynnari, is rapidly growing but have yet to establish teachings or rituals.
** Unique among the Eldar, the Dark Eldar are irreligious for the most part and while they believe some gods exist they're too self-centered to worship them (this is canon). They're often also anti-religious to boot; a major landmark of Commorragh is a landfill of religious icons called Iconoclast's Mound, and one Wych cult - the Pain Eternal - revolves around killing religious people and destroying shrines and holy sites. The sole exception, except for Dark Eldar who stop being Dark Eldar, are the [[Incubi]] who hold [[Khaine]] in high regard.
** The Ynnari have encountered atleast one ancient Craftworld that turned into an entire Genestealer cult in a misguided attempt to avoid getting their souls consumed by Slaanesh as their ship had no infinity circuit present. We're not sure if this worked to any capacity (if at all, given the Hive Mind does not absorb souls), but they were taken down by the Ynnari for obvious reasons.
** There are numerous rumors of a very small number of Chaos Eldar, but these are barely fleshed out and heavily classified in-universe. There have been verified Nurgle-worshipping Eldar and persistent rumors that some have embraced Slaanesh without becoming soul-food. Apart from this, some Dark Eldar have been willing to summon Chaos Daemons or work with Chaos worshippers ([[Fabius Bile|or allies of Chaos]]) to further their own ends.

* While the Necrontyr had religions before certain [[C'tan|star entities]] [[Necrons|roboticizied them]], those aren't fleshed out or detailed. Its also heavily implied the C'tan co-opted the Necrontyr religion beforehand. With the change to Necrons taking the higher though processes of most of them, any Necrons who can comprehend faith and religiosity either worship the C'tan or have become irreligious.

* The Tyranids themselves are irreligious, being spehss bugs and all, but understand at least a few of the advantages of religion. [[Genestealer]]s infect people and together they establish cults on targeted worlds, such as one worshipping "Children of the Stars", a perversion of the Imperial Cult (such as one that worships a [[Swarmlord|four-armed]] version of the Emperor) or something else like "Celebrants of Nihilism" (yes, that's a canon Genestealer cult name). Psychic influence is often involved and, notably, the Genestealers do not consider themselves gods. Once the Tyranids arrive en-masse, the cult-gets assimilated along with all non-Tyranids willingly or not. An interesting tidbit is that the Hive Mind stops the Tyranids from attacking the cultists in early stages of the invasion and leads them on, only to later override the Genestealers' wills and and make them slaughter the cultists.

===Dungeons and Dragons===
* Among Dungeons and Dragons settings, [[Planescape]], [[Eberron]], and [[Pathfinder]] are notable for having some coherent things that could be called "Religions", rather then the usual generic Pantheism.
** Most of Planescape's Factions effectively count as religions, to the point they can produce [[Cleric]]s ([[Planescape: Torment#Fall-From-Grace|Atheist ones at that]]). Yes, even the Athar. (Perhaps ''especially'' the Athar.)
** Half of Eberron's religions aren't worship of deities. The [[Blood of Vol]] seeks to unlock the divinity within one's self and rejects the gods (if they even exist) and the [[Path of Inspiration]] seeks to improve their next reincarnation. The Undying Court worships not gods but their undead ancestors that make up their government. The [[Path of Light]], [[Warforged_Mysteries#The_Becoming_God|Becoming God]] and [[Warforged_Mysteries#The_Reforged|Reforged]] all seek to ''create'' a deity. Even some interpretations of the [[Sovereign Host]], like the one most common among dragons, don't worship them as deities. Due to the way divine casting works in Eberron, all of these can produce divine casters.
** There's a handful of religions on [[Golarion]] that aren't merely worship of pantheons. The most prominent (read: Actually has mechanical support) is the [[Prophecies of Kalistrade]], which is basically fantasy [[Star Trek|Ferengi]].

* [[D20 Modern]]'s [[Urban Arcana]], unusually for urban fantasy, has D&D deities bleed into reality alongside the monsters. You are still able to play a <s>cleric</s> "acolyte" of any real world deity despite this.

===Star Wars===
* [[Star Wars]] is inconsistent on if the [[The Force]] is a religion. The Jedi and the Sith ''could'' both be considered religions as they are considered monastic, but mix in several other traits such as being meritocratic (Jedi) and kraterocratic (Sith) and Lucas himself has axed at least one prototyped book for portraying them too much as a religion. On the other hand, there's the Imperial officer in ''"A New Hope"'' who disses Vader's ways as "sad devotion to ancient religion", only to get [[Meme|chided for his lack of faith with a Force choke]]. It's also notable that the Sith were former Jedi who left the Jedi path for several reasons including [[Heresy|disagreements over the teachings of that creed]]. Aside from that, religion is nearly always a non-human tradition, something noted in a culture's historical background and never seen implying its extinction, or a scam. The religiously linked "damn" and "hell" are the two real world swear words that exist in-universe, purely because Han Solo used them in the films and while a young Anakin told Padme about "angels" in the prequel film these are later revealed to be in-universe aliens, albeit mysterious and powerful ones.
** There are rare exceptions where a religion is fleshed out and explored, and the writing goes various directions for better or worse. A notable example is the aggressive polytheistic religion of the antagonistic Yuuzhan Vong from the EU (which the story gradually revealed was long ago perverted from benevolent roots, and this perverted form takes a few cues from Islam, Maori beliefs and Aztec mythology).

===Star Trek===
* Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry had a low opinion of religion and in his vision humanity had done away with it and was better off for it and he had no interest in adding it to the aliens. However, some of the cast and crew disagreed and occasionally references to religions found their way into the show, which increased after Roddenberry's death. The Federation's culture is distinctly humanistic (extending the concept to alien species) in its outlook, in which religion is regarded as a thing of the past.
** While there are plenty of "Godlike" entities in Star Trek, almost all are treated as Sufficiently Advanced Aliens in the Arthur C. Clarke sense--and in particular, in ST:TNG, the flip side, that Picard and his crew are frequently shown to look like Gods to sufficiently primitive aliens, is gone into in more than one episode.
** The primary religion of the Federation's main frenemies, the Klingons, is a deistic religion where a Klingon warrior killed their gods, and in their belief Klingons who live according to those tenets get to live in a pseudo-Valhalla.
** The Bajorans are a highly religious alien race, with the majority following peaceful teachings and a minority of violent extremists.
*** Of some note, the Bajoran religion is of interest because their "Gods" actually exist, and can be (somewhat incomprehensibly) talked to (a rarity outside of [[Science Fantasy]]). In other words, they were frequently a method of having some religion vs. science debates where the divine entity (A) explicitly exists, (B) is explainable as "sufficiently advanced and unusual aliens", and (C) aren't jerks, just bad at communication with those of us who experience time linearly--in other words, with a deck that wasn't quite as badly stacked. The religiosity was meant to be as a way of contrasting the Starfleet personnel with the native population and to draw a parallel between Bajorans under the Cardassian Occupation and various real world recently freed oppressed religious-slash-ethnic groups.
** <s>In the fifth Star Trek movie, ''"The Final Frontier"'', some of the crew steal the Enterprise to look for God and instead find a powerful alien being impersonating God in the center of the universe</s> '''Just like there is no live-action movie of Avatar: The Last Airbender, there is totally no Star Trek 5!'''

===World of Darkness===
* Very large books could be written about religion and [[World of Darkness]]/Chronicles of Darkness. We'll just cover a few highlights:
** From [[Vampire: The Requiem]], there's the the Lancea et Sanctum, which might be best described as "Christianity for Vampires", and the Circle of the Crone, which is "Pagan Vampires". Both have Vampire miracles on tap (pun intended).
** [[Hunter: The Vigil]] has various religious organizations among the Compacts and Conspiracies, some very similar to real world ones, others...not so much.
** [[Mage: The Ascension]] has various religious Traditions, portrayed in that highly-stereotypical and highly-depending-on-the-author way typical of old WoD.

==See also==
* [[Mythology]]
* [[True Faith]], a common mechanic to weaponize religion in [[Urban Fantasy]].

[[Category:Not related]]
[[Category:History]]

Religion

2021-02-13T14:07:03Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* Religion as a Bad Thing/Detractors */

{{flamewar}}
{{topquote|Science investigates; religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge, which is power; religion gives man wisdom, which is control. Science deals mainly with facts; religion deals mainly with values. The two are not rivals.|Martin Luther King, Jr}}

:'''Dracula''': ''I was called here by, huuuuumans, who wish to pay me tribute!''
:'''Richter Belmont''': ''Tribute?! You steal men's souls! And make them your slaves!''
:'''Dracula''': ''Perhaps the same could be said of all religions.''
::--An excerpt from the infamous exchange that also gave us "What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets" in [[Castlevania#Castlevania:_Symphony_Of_The_Night_.28Castlevania_9.29|Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.]]

Because it's important to several settings and RPG systems, particularly ones that are high-profile or relevant to /tg/, we have a religion article. Let's try and keep it focused on the directly-related-to-/tg/ stuff and not descend into the pure [[skub]] that can arise in discussions of real-life religions, okay?

==Definition of Religion==
Almost since the inception of the term, scholars have failed to agree on a definition of religion. While there are some belief systems that always count as religions, some have applied the term to various things such as political ideologies, or groups when they reach a certain point. There are however two general definition systems: the sociological/functional and the phenomenological/philosophical.

The two most widely accepted are:
* "a unified system of beliefs and practices relative to sacred things, that is to say things set apart and forbidden - beliefs and practices which unite into one single moral community called a church, all those who adhere to them."
* "a comprehensive worldview or 'metaphysical moral vision' that is accepted as binding because it is held to be in itself basically true and just even if all dimensions of it cannot be either fully confirmed or refuted".

As stated before, one common element that every religion which fits the criteria has is humanity's relation to supernatural forces, as all of them have at least one [[God|god]] and/or an afterlife even where there are exceptions; Buddhism doesn't have any gods or its own idea of the cosmos' origins but has afterlives and the existence of the eternal soul (unless a persons achieves nirvana), and Taoism doesn't have an afterlife in the conventional sense but is pantheistic and has supernatural beings. Religions with a God/god/gods fall under monotheistic (one God) or polytheistic (more than one god), though some of the latter have a variant called henotheistic (multiple gods but only one of them is served). Interestingly, most polytheistic religions have an all-powerful Creator God as the supreme authority in the cosmos who also created the other gods (such as Ptah from Egyptian mythology, Brahma in Hinduism and Nyame from West African mythology for Ghana's Akan people).

Like other terms for heavily [[SJW|debated]] [[communism|subjects]], religion and religious have also been used as insults or Snarl Words in social and political discussions (especially from the 20th century and onwards) to ridicule groups openly promoting something the user disagrees with. This snarl creates a caricature of the group to smear them by association with the worst excesses/negative stereotypes of religious people (like being preachy, judgmental, irrational, hypocritical).

==List of Real-Life Religions==

Too many to list, even without debates about the term. In lieu of a list on this site, here are two complied lists that should cover everything that fits the bill. Otherwise, check out the [[Mythology]] page.

* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_religions_and_spiritual_traditions Wikipedia's list of religions and spiritual traditions]
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_religious_groups For a simplified version from Wikipedia that focuses more on major religions]

==Religion vs. Mythology==
While [[Mythology|mythologies]] aren't religions in and of themselves, every religion has a mythology. While mythologies are merely the accounts of supernatural events, religions add rituals, practices and hierarchies that link those mythologies directly to the lives of their believers in one form or another, typically by describing how to properly serve to a god (or multiple gods, it depends) a significant role in the mythology a given religion is derived from. [[Skub|Whatever the source]], the mythology almost always predates the religion. As a result, especially since the Fantasy genre deals in supernatural beings and forces, most if not all fantasy settings have religions. Science fiction does to a lesser degree, mostly because during the Golden Age of sci-fi empiricists and secular humanists were attracted to the genre and their views often seeped into their stories. Despite this, given that most real-life societies have had religions playing a role in or since their founding, religions are still found in sci-fi.

Religions involves belief systems and practices, where an adherent can call upon the power/being the religion is focused on to give them aid in [[cleric|various]] [[Paladin|ways]], depending at the very least on the religion and the task in question. Given that religions are about people's place in the world, how it was made, ideas on how life should be lived and how humans should relate to the supernatural, they have major implications for societies. Given that people can become [[Exarch|dangerously single-minded]] about a cause, people can be become extremists about their religion, regardless of the fact that [[Heironeous|some]] are more benevolent than [[Asmodeus|others]] and in numerous cases even [[Heresy|if it involves going against the religion's teachings]]; in conjunction with the above this means religious conflicts can become widespread, long-lasting, cause carnage and also involve other elements such as politics- both in fantasy and in the real world.

==Role in Society==
{{skubby}}
While it varies depending on the society and the religion in question, at least as long as human civilization has existed, religiosity has existed and has almost always been interconnected. There is no human civilization in real-life where religion was never part of its development; every society that pursued secularization or [[Imperial Truth|state atheism]] started off at least mostly religious.

A person's religious beliefs (for or against) are a major factor in their worldview, often being the undercurrent for all others. This is because this belief shapes people's views on big issues such as the purpose of life, how life should be lived in relation to oneself and others and what happens to people after they die. On the upside, this often leads to teachings with the goal of unity, peace and co-operation as per the teachings of most religions (some of which also make their way into non-religious systems). On the downside, this can lead to clashes over carrying out the will of the Powers-that-be, which religion should be followed or whether or not people should follow a god or religion at all. This can involve arguments and factionalizing, or worst case scenarios like pogroms and wars. Since they are an overarching and fairly common element in cultures, they often appear or are referenced in fiction.

In many societies throughout history, medicine and religion were interconnected. In many ancient religions, the clergy were also the doctors or well-versed in medical knowledge of the time, tending to physical health as well as spiritual health. A lot of the bedrock of modern medical science was established by religious people (such as the friar Gregor Mendel who founded the scientific field of genetics, and the Christian biologist/chemist Louis Pasteur who helped pioneer vaccination and preservation of food among other things - in fact, the process of ''"pasteurization"'' is named after him). In numerous parts of the world today, numerous hospitals were based around specific religious people or founded by people from a specific religious group, and many religious charities, such as the Salvation Army, have a medical branch.

Some religions have also codified the concept of charity; in these cases, religion and charity have been inextricably entangled throughout their long history. For example, the three Abrahamic religions Christianity, Islam, and Judaism each have doctrines that require their members to do good for others in various ways such as caring for the destitute or those in need.

Throughout history religions have frequently been enshrined in law as the "state religion", giving them special privileges such as extensive influence over the government or tax exemptions. In some cases, the clergy or a religious institution are the government (usually on behalf of the Powers-that-be for the religion in question) in a system known as theocracy. Today, several theocracies exist, with the two full examples being Vatican City and Iran.

Within the last few centuries, due to events such as the French Revolution, there has also been a significant amount of anti-religious sentiment, which regards religion as at best redundant and at worst destructive (beyond historical grievances with specific groups within religions, reasons for this view and whether or not those arguments have any merit, shall not be discussed here). For the most part, a combination of people identifying more with their culture or nation than their religion and the concept that religion and functions of state should not interfere with each other has turned into more of a "live and let live" mentality that doesn't really support or oppose any one religion and only reacts when said religions begin actively defying the state or the state starts bringing the boot down on religion. Most of the world's population is religious, with the amount of piety varying from country to country, and of course there are plenty of non-religious people who don't necessarily oppose religion despite not following any themselves.

Throughout history, numerous tyrannical regimes have tried to restrict or stamp out religions. This is usually because religious teachings put the figure/object of worship before the state in a conflict of interest and most religions' teachings condemn tyranny or [[Slaanesh|the vices tyrannical leaders indulge]]. Other reasons include tyrants dislike being answerable to anyone besides themselves and a tyrant may have some form of anti-religious prejudice. While nations have usually tried to block specific religions deemed "false" (read: religions opposing the state-sponsored religion in any way), several nations have tried purge and/or even replace it with an atheistic system, albeit with horrifying [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/League_of_Militant_Atheists results] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khmer_Rouge_rule_of_Cambodia#Religious_persecutions each] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_atheism#Human_rights time], often practicing the traits that religion gets criticized for by its detractors (as while Marx's "opiate of the masses" quote was just passive theory, [http://www.stephenhicks.org/2013/02/18/marxs-philosophy-and-the-necessity-of-violent-politics/ he flip-flopped on whether he endorsed revolutionary violence for his cause]).
Best case scenario, they sidegrade from one set of problems to another as cults of personality (commonly ones based on the ruler in charge) spring up to exploit the newly created power vacuum while believers who survive the regime try to continue their activities in secret. Worst case scenario, the society crumbles as the people degenerate into a [[Commorragh|violent, fractious and nihilistic mass]].

Aside from the aforementioned theocracies, the most religious nations are countries such as Brazil in South America or Zambia in Africa (Zambia even has a state religion alongside a law that allows for freedom of religion). China is - at the time this was written - the world's least religious and most atheistic country (followed by Japan and Sweden, the situation around North Korea is [[Skub|debatable]], since even though they violently suppress religions [https://www.foxnews.com/world/north-korea-publicly-executes-80-some-for-videos-or-bibles-report-says to the point that merely having copies of religious texts can be grounds for execution], they also have the Kim Cult blended with the Marxist offshoot ideology Juche).

==How this impacts /tg/==
A few major ways. Since most if not every society in real-life has had religion either be the basis for its founding or play a role in it - in addition to the various roles religion continues to have in society - religion is just as involved in the backstory or current lore of settings. There are three major "modes" of /tg/ settings and related fictions:
* Purely functional use of religion as a story device. (What we might call "Functionalists")
* Endorsement of religion and/or religious people. (What we might call "Religion is Good" types)
* Criticism of religion and/or religious people. (What we might call "Religion is Bad" types)
For ease of categorization, writers who use these modes will also be called proponents, detractors or functionalists (who can be pro, anti or neutral).

===Religion as a story device/Functionalists===
Compared to the two types of writers found below, these writers are usually just attempting to model their work after real-world [[Mythology]] and are frequently attempting to keep their views of Religion separate from their work. Frequently comes in one of two subspecies:
* The [[Standard Fantasy Setting]] default: The world is ruled by an ordinary polytheistic pantheon, usually close to some admixture of Norse and Greek mythologies. Some of them also have a Top God more powerful than all the others, and maybe the in-universe creator of everything who is mostly hands-off in cosmic affairs. The gods of these religions tend to focus on specific areas (gods of [[Paladin|Justice]] and [[Druid|Nature]] are common, for subtly obvious reasons) and frequently want their followers to propagate or promote these things.
* The kind of setting they wanted to make dictated the nature of the divine. For example, in [[Exalted]] just about all the figures anybody would call a "God" (besides the Exalted) are Useless, because the Exalted (which includes the Player Characters) are the guys who were made specifically to do whatever the gods needed them to do for reasons inherent to the setting, to go with the main theme of the setting for the PCs: "You can do ''almost anything'', except '''avoid the consequences of doing that anything'''".

===Religion as a Bad Thing/Detractors===
There are several writers of Science Fiction and Fantasy that are of the opinion "Religion Is Bad", having an axe to grind (sometimes warranted, sometimes not) with either one or more specific real-life religions. This is more common in Sci-Fi than fantasy because the focus on science appeals to the naturalist, empiricist and/or humanist worldview of such writers, with the supernatural being seen as an obstacle to that. Despite that, the view is found among some fantasy authors as well, such as Philip Pullman (who wrote the "His Dark Materials" series as atheistic pushback against C.S Lewis' "Chronicles of Narnia" series). Whatever the genre, this comes in flavors of "The Gods are Incompetent" (more on that below), "The Gods Don't Exist" or "The Gods are Evil". Cosmic Horror also tends to use the latter two or combine them into "The Gods are actually Incomprehensible and Destructive Aliens" ([[H.P. Lovecraft]] himself was an avowed anti-religious atheist - which is why cults are recurring villains in his stories). This also has the side effect of inclining science fiction towards an atheistic perspective.

Another major component is personal issues of the author such as grievance or prejudice, but that's case-by-case and a major can of worms. A writer could resent a specific religion or even the higher power a religion reveres (though opposition to a god or gods is called anti-theistic, not anti-religious), and single them out in their works due to personal bias or promoting an agenda. Worst case scenario, the story is an anti-religious wish fulfillment story or power fantasy; two examples are as Frank Miller's "Holy Terror" comics against Islam (which Frank admitted was a careless response to the September 11 attacks) and Garth Ennis' "Preacher" comics - and their live-action adaptation - against Christianity (Garth was likely influenced by misblaming religion for the Irish conflict The Troubles).

Whatever the motivation, writers saying this message either model their fictional religions on the worst excesses of real world religious people, use a distorted version of the actual religion or a fictional stand-in (the former is occasionally exaggerated and the latter two are often strawmen). The most frequently targeted religions are Christianity, Islam, any faith that practiced human sacrifice (such as the Aztec religious practices) and Scientology. Cults, especially those with beliefs that mainstream religions consider unorthodox or outright heretical, are especially fertile ground for this message, albeit running the risk of being misapplied to tar other groups with the same brush.

===Religion as a Good Thing/Proponents===
There are several Science Fiction and Fantasy writers who either are religious themselves and want to promote their worldview, look upon religion positively and put that into the story or both. This is more common in Fantasy than Sci-fi, partly because with the supernatural being THE fundamental element of the genre, this gives opportunities to explore many aspects of religiosity. This is less common in science-fiction, but not unheard of, such as Carl Sagan's novel "Contact" where God's signature is found in the digits of pi. These authors usually put more thought into their fictional religion plus its central figure (although they have a tendency to go all "Crystal Dragon Jesus"; that is, resemble real-life religions but with a few details changed), and try and have it be at least a somewhat good influence, although religious institutions and leaders are usually hit-and-miss affairs.

Some people make a fictional setting with figures from real-world religions, either in the real-world or [[CS Lewis|an alternate world like Narnia]]. Others use fictional religions that either visually resemble real-life religions or figures from them. Religions that often get this treatment are the Abrahamic faiths (most often Christianity), Greek mythology, Egyptian mythology and Norse mythology (albeit often a sanitized version of the latter three). In other cases they all but abandon any form of subtlety, with the fictional religion being distinguished from the real-world religion by only a handful of minor changes. Naturally, those kinds of works tend to come off as preachy, to say the least.

Another route this uses is the route that faith itself provides the power as per "[[Belief Function|Belief Function]]" (think Morpheus' "your mind makes it real" quote, but applying at the cosmological level). In fact, Warhammer often goes the route that the gods are powered by faith as well as from their sphere of influence which has either [[Sigmar|caused some people have risen to godhood]] or [[Ynnead|caused new gods to be born in the setting]]. In fact, this has proven the greatest weapon against Chaos in every Warhammer setting (and why the Emperor's plan to starve the Chaos Gods with atheism was doomed to fail from the start).

===Somewhat special cases===

One somewhat special case is the "Religion of Evil"; in many settings, there is a religion that is explicitly capital E Evil and seeks one of the usual "Card Carrying Villain" goals of Control, Conquest, Corruption, or Destruction. Frequently has some admixture of the worst aspects of Roman Paganism, Norse practices, the Aztec, Scientology and/or the various Abrahamic religions. They also often draw from those found in the writings of H.P Lovecraft. If this cult directly worships an individual Evil God, expect whatever makes sense for that deity to be some form of destructive activity--e.g., the cult of the God of Murder demands human sacrifice on a regular basis, with a certain portion of that explicitly being not-careful-enough cultists. Regardless, Religions of Evil can show up in all three above modes, and usually has a special purpose in all three:

* All three types need bad guys. In particular, a group who by definition is Evil is always good for some no-need-to-worry-about-the-ethics-or-morality-of-killing fodder (based on the idea that everyone in is group is evil because you have to do evil to be part of the group).
* Religion is Bad types tend to use them to say either "while they're all Bad, some are worse then others", that "Religion can be used to justify anything", use it as a strawman to tar all with the same brush or they have a personal axe to grind (either against an entire religion, a group within that religion or specific religious people the author dislikes).
* Religion is Good types or the sincerely religious tend to use them as analogies with fanaticism, criticize Real World cults, compare different beliefs or deal with negative aspects of religion (occasionally making jabs at competitive religions, or fellow believers the author disagrees with). Another approach is to have a Religion of Good fighting against a Religion of Evil - either as the heroes of the story or a valued ally - to say "there is good religion, so don't tar all with the same negative brush".
** As a side note, a lot of fantasy has moved slightly away from pure Religions of Evil, for much the same reason as [[Always Chaotic Evil]] races (questions of whether this fosters prejudice against real-life groups and audiences and authors demanding more motive for their villains). While there are still plenty of them, they usually add some nuance that makes them at least morally neutral under their own lights. Popular options are for them to be an off-shoot/subset of another religion and/or be taking vengeance for an injustice (real or perceived, both of which have '''plenty''' of real-life precedent).

[[Urban Fantasy]] writers are another special case, since almost all Urban Fantasy is set in something that might be called "the real world with a twist", with all the usual political trouble that implies. As a result, they can take one of a few routes:
* The most common route is "there are many possible explanations" and vague things up as much as possible ([[True Faith|Faith]] being the power that repels [[Vampire]]s rather than than a cross having any actual connection to a deity is a popular one).
* The second most common route (albeit rarer outside of Cosmic Horror) is the "Religion as a Bad Thing" route. The story is straight up [[Imperial Truth|atheistic/"Religion is Bad" propaganda]] for the more preachy (pun intended) anti-religious writers. It's also frequently used by writers going for [[Edgy|"edgy"]] stories with religious subject matter; in practice, both most often target Christianity or any contemporary cults. On that note, any fictional religions or cults are usually thinly-veiled stand-ins for real-life ones.
* Some Urban Fantasy works with a clear correct religion exist thanks to the above mentioned sincerely religious authors, which are typically [[Chick Tracts|barely veiled proselytizing]] or [[Twilight|just straight up terrible]], though [[Monster Hunter International|there are some good ones]].
* The fourth route, taken most notably by [[Supers|DC and Marvel comics]] among others, is to take an "All Myths are True" approach: All religions are sort of true, but none have any exclusivity to the Truth, so Thor and Athena might have the Archangel Michael on speeddial when the Orochi teams up with Apep to get up to no good and start making trouble in their neighborhoods (because "Mikey really likes kicking serpent tail, and gets annoyed when we don't at least try to invite him to an evil serpent ass-kicking."). Differs from the "vague things up" route by being clearer on some details, and also much more gonzo. The Abrahamic God is the exception here: He's usually kept especially vague, albeit more powerful (and yet infinitely less accessible) than anyone else in the setting, and only referred to by some codephrase (Marvel likes "The One Above All", DC generally goes for "The Presence" or "whatever is behind the Source Wall").

===Miscellaneous Observations===

Doing the "The Gods are Incompetent" thing (the similar but different "The Gods are Insane", "The Gods Are Assholes" and "The Gods Don't Actually Do Anything" routes also falls under this umbrella) can go into any of the three modes; in a sincere monotheist's (such as Christian) work, it can be a "Take That" to polytheistic religions; in a "Religion is Bad" atheist's, it can be one to religion in general; in a Buddhist-influenced work, it can be a part of the whole "even the Gods are tied up in the Wheel of Karma" concept; and, even if the author is not pushing any religious message in any way, there's a neutral, plot-structural reason to go "Incompetent Gods": it can make the adventurers the Most Competent People Available since if that wasn't the case there wouldn't be anything for the adventurers to do.

If a work has multiple writers, (as frequently happens with RPG and Wargame settings, and quite a few popular SciFi/Fantasy ones as well) there's a tendency for the writers to try and pull the setting into one of the other two "modes" depending on their personal views. This leads to the theme changing from one side to the other as the story progresses. A recent example is [[World of Warcraft|the spate of retcons to the cosmology of the Warcraft universe]] and the morality of its fundamental forces/dominant higher powers, the Light and the Void. If the story doesn't get focused on a pro-religion or anti-religion message, it may end up swinging back and forth between both sides or settle in a mid-point which doesn't take a strong stance either way.

Note that members of the "Religion is Bad" and "Religion is Good" brigades will get involved in arguments over the relative morality or "goodness" of various factions in the story and the accuracy of any messages a writer presents. Often history buffs will throw their hat into the ring as well.

==Examples of /tg/ connected fictional religions==
===Warhammer 40k===
* The [[Imperial Truth]] was originally the Emperor's plan on beliefs, which he and his servants propagated throughout the galaxy during the Great Crusade. Attempting to wean mankind away from Chaos and being a firm member of the "Religion is Bad" brigade, the Emperor proclaimed there are no gods, and religion had to be abolished willingly or by force while science or reason are to be used for explaining the universe and morality. Everything transpired according to his design, except theistic religiosity in the 40k universe is the best weapon against Chaos so Emps' interstellar state atheism policy gave them a major opening. Things went from bad to worse when people started looking up to the Emperor as a god himself, [[Exterminatus|he responded accordingly]], and the Chaos Gods got a new tool in the form of [[Lorgar]]. After the Horus Heresy and the Emperor's removal from galactic politics: the Imperial Truth was slowly shelved in favor of the Imperial Cult, to the point that espousing the teachings of the Truth is ironically considered heresy. Only a few practitioners of the Imperial Truth remain, most notably the Custodes and the Space Marines (both of whom know The Emperor better than anybody to worship him as a god. Plus, their religious autonomy.).
** The [[Imperial Cult]] is the present-day religion of the Imperium of Man, and is a mix of several Abrahamic Religions along with copious amounts of warmongering, fanaticism and xenophobia. Derived from the Lectitio Divinatus penned by [[Lorgar]] pre-HH, the Cult decrees that because the Emperor is capable of all these miracles and power: he ''must'' be a god, and why you should worship and pledge loyalty to him. Its a complete 180 from the Emperor's original teachings, and has simultaneously been responsible for damning and saving the Imperium past the clusterfuck of the Horus Heresy. It's unknown whether the Emperor still abhors godhood and religion and would abolish it the moment he could, or if he's resigned himself to becoming the very thing he fought against for mankind to persevere in these trying times. Whatever the case, he didn't want to be a god, but now he has no choice but to become one.
** The [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Cult Mechanicus]] (Machine Cult) is the religion of the Adeptus Mechanicus, placing a heavy emphasis on machines, viewing them as gifts from the Machine God called "The Omnissiah" Officially, the Omnissiah is The Emperor, which allows the Mechanicus to sidestep the more puritan pundits of the Imperial Cult (we worship The Emprah, just not how you do it). Unofficially, the Omnissiah may or may not be the C'tan god: The Void Dragon. It also has a high emphasis on the collection of knowledge, and one of the Admech's roles in the galaxy is to explore remote and uncharted regions of space to find and search for knowledge that has been lost throughout the millennia. The last of these, is guidelines on machines and knowledge. Officially, heretic(tek) and xeno works are to be abhorred and disposed of, viewing them as perversions of the holy Machine God's works. Unofficially however, more liberally-minded and higher-ranked Magos would happily hoard heretek/xeno works, seeing their potential over the more restricted and constrained works of the Mechanicus.

* Chaos is a violent and complicated henotheistic (believing in multiple gods but only worshipping one) or polytheistic religion with dozens, if not hundreds of interpretations. Even then, there's more sub-cults that worship their particular god in a specific way, either minutely or vastly different from everyone else among followers of the Big 4. And this doesn't even get into the realm of Chaos Undivided (which worships the concept of Chaos itself, instead of the individual gods) and [[Malal]]. Chaos has very little established guidelines regarding worship, apart from their patron god's/gods' general likes/dislikes, so any religious practices or rituals are either based on commands from the god/s or up to the imagination of the cult.
** Interestingly, there is a Space Marine of the Chaos faction who follows the Imperial Truth, and that is [[Fabius Bile]].

* All Greenskins worship Gork and Mork (jury's out on whether the [[Gretchin Revolutionary Committee]] do), but are too disorganized to have anything like a formal religion, though they do make effigies of Gork and Mork and call on them. The closest thing they have to tenants is that Gork favors violence, Mork favors cunning. Greenskins have gotten into fights over this, but violence is part of their nature and that of their gods. While they fight over religion, they also fight over almost any dispute anyway, and may even start a religious argument just to enjoy a good fight among themselves (though the only theological argument they can formulate is "is Gork the god of cunning or is Mork?" or vica versa). On the surface, religion does not play a big-enough role in Ork society compared to other races, being just another outlet for Orks to fight about. But if [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull]] is any indication: religion can have a great impact on Orks, with him being becoming one of the greatest Warlords in the galaxy, primarily because he thinks he's personally blessed by Gork and Mork themselves. So if you throw in the Orks' gestalt field into the mix, its likely that its not that religion doesn't matter to them, it's under-utilized.

* The Tau's creed "The [[Greater Good]]" is a specie-wide philosophy that was adopted ever since the initial unification of the Tau in the olden days. In a nutshell, the Greater Good emphasizes the co-existence of all Tau and sapient life in general into working together for a common goal to further the Tau's progress, seeing everyone's potential and hoping to utilize that for an, ahem, greater good. Personal religion isn't forbidden, but it must not contradict or override The Greater Good, and must be disregarded if it ever does so. Technically, this means Tau can be religious or non-religious, as the Greater Good is not a religion (due to lacking an afterlife and supernatural aspects, with the closest things to figures of worship being the Ethereals). This sounds all fine and dandy, but the Ethereal class, who are responsible for maintaining The Greater Good, have been shown to be less benevolent than believed and have been using their unnaturally powerful charisma to subtly oppress the Tau and use them to further their own agendas.
**The Farsight Enclaves, who have thrown off Ethereal rule, are the exception in that they have rejected The Greater Good, seeing it as the method of oppression used to keep the T'au under complete control of the ethereals. Due to this, if one considers the Greater Good a religion, The Enclaves are irreligious.
**As of the 4th Sphere Expansion disaster, Chaos Tau are starting to become a thing.
**At one point, the Earth Caste gathered Genestealer-infected Tau and studied them to see what would happen. Of course, a Genestealer cult developed and naturally they violently escaped control and surveillance. According to rumors, they've even produced a Genestealer-infected Ethereal.

* The Eldar have varying views on religiosity depending on their type. Their religion is polytheistic, with henotheistic offshoots, and Ausryan was the highest ranking god. However all of the Eldar gods were murder-raped to death by Slaanesh except for Isha (taken by Nurgle), Khaine (shattered and flung into realspace), Cegorach (hiding in the Webway) and Ynnead (born long after Slaanesh's birth). Their Pantheon's religious practices aren't fleshed out save for those of Cegorach, Isha, and Khaine, via the Harlequins and Aspect Warriors. With most of their gods out of commission, Eldar religious worship is of a deistic bent.
** Craftworlders and Exodites almost exclusively worship the original Eldar pantheon, though some engage in henotheistic worship of only one of the gods. Asuryan is more popular among Craftworlders while Isha is among Exodites, though nearly all give Khaine some tribute during war.
** Corsairs are all over the place, though Khaine is a popular choice given their more militant nature.
** Being agents of the Laughing God himself, the Harlequins' worship is centered around [[Cegorach]], whilst still paying minor tribute to the other gods.
** The new faith around Ynnead, the Ynnari, is rapidly growing but have yet to establish teachings or rituals.
** Unique among the Eldar, the Dark Eldar are irreligious for the most part and while they believe some gods exist they're too self-centered to worship them (this is canon). They're often also anti-religious to boot; a major landmark of Commorragh is a landfill of religious icons called Iconoclast's Mound, and one Wych cult - the Pain Eternal - revolves around killing religious people and destroying shrines and holy sites. The sole exception, except for Dark Eldar who stop being Dark Eldar, are the [[Incubi]] who hold [[Khaine]] in high regard.
** The Ynnari have encountered atleast one ancient Craftworld that turned into an entire Genestealer cult in a misguided attempt to avoid getting their souls consumed by Slaanesh as their ship had no infinity circuit present. We're not sure if this worked to any capacity (if at all, given the Hive Mind does not absorb souls), but they were taken down by the Ynnari for obvious reasons.
** There are numerous rumors of a very small number of Chaos Eldar, but these are barely fleshed out and heavily classified in-universe. There have been verified Nurgle-worshipping Eldar and persistent rumors that some have embraced Slaanesh without becoming soul-food. Apart from this, some Dark Eldar have been willing to summon Chaos Daemons or work with Chaos worshippers ([[Fabius Bile|or allies of Chaos]]) to further their own ends.

* While the Necrontyr had religions before certain [[C'tan|star entities]] [[Necrons|roboticizied them]], those aren't fleshed out or detailed. Its also heavily implied the C'tan co-opted the Necrontyr religion beforehand. With the change to Necrons taking the higher though processes of most of them, any Necrons who can comprehend faith and religiosity either worship the C'tan or have become irreligious.

* The Tyranids themselves are irreligious, being spehss bugs and all, but understand at least a few of the advantages of religion. [[Genestealer]]s infect people and together they establish cults on targeted worlds, such as one worshipping "Children of the Stars", a perversion of the Imperial Cult (such as one that worships a [[Swarmlord|four-armed]] version of the Emperor) or something else like "Celebrants of Nihilism" (yes, that's a canon Genestealer cult name). Psychic influence is often involved and, notably, the Genestealers do not consider themselves gods. Once the Tyranids arrive en-masse, the cult-gets assimilated along with all non-Tyranids willingly or not. An interesting tidbit is that the Hive Mind stops the Tyranids from attacking the cultists in early stages of the invasion and leads them on, only to later override the Genestealers' wills and and make them slaughter the cultists.

===Dungeons and Dragons===
* Among Dungeons and Dragons settings, [[Planescape]], [[Eberron]], and [[Pathfinder]] are notable for having some coherent things that could be called "Religions", rather then the usual generic Pantheism.
** Most of Planescape's Factions effectively count as religions, to the point they can produce [[Cleric]]s ([[Planescape: Torment#Fall-From-Grace|Atheist ones at that]]). Yes, even the Athar. (Perhaps ''especially'' the Athar.)
** Half of Eberron's religions aren't worship of deities. The [[Blood of Vol]] seeks to unlock the divinity within one's self and rejects the gods (if they even exist) and the [[Path of Inspiration]] seeks to improve their next reincarnation. The Undying Court worships not gods but their undead ancestors that make up their government. The [[Path of Light]], [[Warforged_Mysteries#The_Becoming_God|Becoming God]] and [[Warforged_Mysteries#The_Reforged|Reforged]] all seek to ''create'' a deity. Even some interpretations of the [[Sovereign Host]], like the one most common among dragons, don't worship them as deities. Due to the way divine casting works in Eberron, all of these can produce divine casters.
** There's a handful of religions on [[Golarion]] that aren't merely worship of pantheons. The most prominent (read: Actually has mechanical support) is the [[Prophecies of Kalistrade]], which is basically fantasy [[Star Trek|Ferengi]].

* [[D20 Modern]]'s [[Urban Arcana]], unusually for urban fantasy, has D&D deities bleed into reality alongside the monsters. You are still able to play a <s>cleric</s> "acolyte" of any real world deity despite this.

===Star Wars===
* [[Star Wars]] is inconsistent on if the [[The Force]] is a religion. The Jedi and the Sith ''could'' both be considered religions as they are considered monastic, but mix in several other traits such as being meritocratic (Jedi) and kraterocratic (Sith) and Lucas himself has axed at least one prototyped book for portraying them too much as a religion. On the other hand, there's the Imperial officer in ''"A New Hope"'' who disses Vader's ways as "sad devotion to ancient religion", only to get [[Meme|chided for his lack of faith with a Force choke]]. It's also notable that the Sith were former Jedi who left the Jedi path for several reasons including [[Heresy|disagreements over the teachings of that creed]]. Aside from that, religion is nearly always a non-human tradition, something noted in a culture's historical background and never seen implying its extinction, or a scam. The religiously linked "damn" and "hell" are the two real world swear words that exist in-universe, purely because Han Solo used them in the films and while a young Anakin told Padme about "angels" in the prequel film these are later revealed to be in-universe aliens, albeit mysterious and powerful ones.
** There are rare exceptions where a religion is fleshed out and explored, and the writing goes various directions for better or worse. A notable example is the aggressive polytheistic religion of the antagonistic Yuuzhan Vong from the EU (which the story gradually revealed was long ago perverted from benevolent roots, and this perverted form takes a few cues from Islam, Maori beliefs and Aztec mythology).

===Star Trek===
* Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry had a low opinion of religion and in his vision humanity had done away with it and was better off for it and he had no interest in adding it to the aliens. However, some of the cast and crew disagreed and occasionally references to religions found their way into the show, which increased after Roddenberry's death. The Federation's culture is distinctly humanistic (extending the concept to alien species) in its outlook, in which religion is regarded as a thing of the past.
** While there are plenty of "Godlike" entities in Star Trek, almost all are treated as Sufficiently Advanced Aliens in the Arthur C. Clarke sense--and in particular, in ST:TNG, the flip side, that Picard and his crew are frequently shown to look like Gods to sufficiently primitive aliens, is gone into in more than one episode.
** The primary religion of the Federation's main frenemies, the Klingons, is a deistic religion where a Klingon warrior killed their gods, and in their belief Klingons who live according to those tenets get to live in a pseudo-Valhalla.
** The Bajorans are a highly religious alien race, with the majority following peaceful teachings and a minority of violent extremists.
*** Of some note, the Bajoran religion is of interest because their "Gods" actually exist, and can be (somewhat incomprehensibly) talked to (a rarity outside of [[Science Fantasy]]). In other words, they were frequently a method of having some religion vs. science debates where the divine entity (A) explicitly exists, (B) is explainable as "sufficiently advanced and unusual aliens", and (C) aren't jerks, just bad at communication with those of us who experience time linearly--in other words, with a deck that wasn't quite as badly stacked. The religiosity was meant to be as a way of contrasting the Starfleet personnel with the native population and to draw a parallel between Bajorans under the Cardassian Occupation and various real world recently freed oppressed religious-slash-ethnic groups.
** <s>In the fifth Star Trek movie, ''"The Final Frontier"'', some of the crew steal the Enterprise to look for God and instead find a powerful alien being impersonating God in the center of the universe</s> '''Just like there is no live-action movie of Avatar: The Last Airbender, there is totally no Star Trek 5!'''

===World of Darkness===
* Very large books could be written about religion and [[World of Darkness]]/Chronicles of Darkness. We'll just cover a few highlights:
** From [[Vampire: The Requiem]], there's the the Lancea et Sanctum, which might be best described as "Christianity for Vampires", and the Circle of the Crone, which is "Pagan Vampires". Both have Vampire miracles on tap (pun intended).
** [[Hunter: The Vigil]] has various religious organizations among the Compacts and Conspiracies, some very similar to real world ones, others...not so much.
** [[Mage: The Ascension]] has various religious Traditions, portrayed in that highly-stereotypical and highly-depending-on-the-author way typical of old WoD.

==See also==
* [[Mythology]]
* [[True Faith]], a common mechanic to weaponize religion in [[Urban Fantasy]].

[[Category:Not related]]
[[Category:History]]

Religion

2021-02-13T14:01:51Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:B8A8:42A0:FF24:4997: /* Role in Society */

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{{topquote|Science investigates; religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge, which is power; religion gives man wisdom, which is control. Science deals mainly with facts; religion deals mainly with values. The two are not rivals.|Martin Luther King, Jr}}

:'''Dracula''': ''I was called here by, huuuuumans, who wish to pay me tribute!''
:'''Richter Belmont''': ''Tribute?! You steal men's souls! And make them your slaves!''
:'''Dracula''': ''Perhaps the same could be said of all religions.''
::--An excerpt from the infamous exchange that also gave us "What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets" in [[Castlevania#Castlevania:_Symphony_Of_The_Night_.28Castlevania_9.29|Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.]]

Because it's important to several settings and RPG systems, particularly ones that are high-profile or relevant to /tg/, we have a religion article. Let's try and keep it focused on the directly-related-to-/tg/ stuff and not descend into the pure [[skub]] that can arise in discussions of real-life religions, okay?

==Definition of Religion==
Almost since the inception of the term, scholars have failed to agree on a definition of religion. While there are some belief systems that always count as religions, some have applied the term to various things such as political ideologies, or groups when they reach a certain point. There are however two general definition systems: the sociological/functional and the phenomenological/philosophical.

The two most widely accepted are:
* "a unified system of beliefs and practices relative to sacred things, that is to say things set apart and forbidden - beliefs and practices which unite into one single moral community called a church, all those who adhere to them."
* "a comprehensive worldview or 'metaphysical moral vision' that is accepted as binding because it is held to be in itself basically true and just even if all dimensions of it cannot be either fully confirmed or refuted".

As stated before, one common element that every religion which fits the criteria has is humanity's relation to supernatural forces, as all of them have at least one [[God|god]] and/or an afterlife even where there are exceptions; Buddhism doesn't have any gods or its own idea of the cosmos' origins but has afterlives and the existence of the eternal soul (unless a persons achieves nirvana), and Taoism doesn't have an afterlife in the conventional sense but is pantheistic and has supernatural beings. Religions with a God/god/gods fall under monotheistic (one God) or polytheistic (more than one god), though some of the latter have a variant called henotheistic (multiple gods but only one of them is served). Interestingly, most polytheistic religions have an all-powerful Creator God as the supreme authority in the cosmos who also created the other gods (such as Ptah from Egyptian mythology, Brahma in Hinduism and Nyame from West African mythology for Ghana's Akan people).

Like other terms for heavily [[SJW|debated]] [[communism|subjects]], religion and religious have also been used as insults or Snarl Words in social and political discussions (especially from the 20th century and onwards) to ridicule groups openly promoting something the user disagrees with. This snarl creates a caricature of the group to smear them by association with the worst excesses/negative stereotypes of religious people (like being preachy, judgmental, irrational, hypocritical).

==List of Real-Life Religions==

Too many to list, even without debates about the term. In lieu of a list on this site, here are two complied lists that should cover everything that fits the bill. Otherwise, check out the [[Mythology]] page.

* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_religions_and_spiritual_traditions Wikipedia's list of religions and spiritual traditions]
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_religious_groups For a simplified version from Wikipedia that focuses more on major religions]

==Religion vs. Mythology==
While [[Mythology|mythologies]] aren't religions in and of themselves, every religion has a mythology. While mythologies are merely the accounts of supernatural events, religions add rituals, practices and hierarchies that link those mythologies directly to the lives of their believers in one form or another, typically by describing how to properly serve to a god (or multiple gods, it depends) a significant role in the mythology a given religion is derived from. [[Skub|Whatever the source]], the mythology almost always predates the religion. As a result, especially since the Fantasy genre deals in supernatural beings and forces, most if not all fantasy settings have religions. Science fiction does to a lesser degree, mostly because during the Golden Age of sci-fi empiricists and secular humanists were attracted to the genre and their views often seeped into their stories. Despite this, given that most real-life societies have had religions playing a role in or since their founding, religions are still found in sci-fi.

Religions involves belief systems and practices, where an adherent can call upon the power/being the religion is focused on to give them aid in [[cleric|various]] [[Paladin|ways]], depending at the very least on the religion and the task in question. Given that religions are about people's place in the world, how it was made, ideas on how life should be lived and how humans should relate to the supernatural, they have major implications for societies. Given that people can become [[Exarch|dangerously single-minded]] about a cause, people can be become extremists about their religion, regardless of the fact that [[Heironeous|some]] are more benevolent than [[Asmodeus|others]] and in numerous cases even [[Heresy|if it involves going against the religion's teachings]]; in conjunction with the above this means religious conflicts can become widespread, long-lasting, cause carnage and also involve other elements such as politics- both in fantasy and in the real world.

==Role in Society==
{{skubby}}
While it varies depending on the society and the religion in question, at least as long as human civilization has existed, religiosity has existed and has almost always been interconnected. There is no human civilization in real-life where religion was never part of its development; every society that pursued secularization or [[Imperial Truth|state atheism]] started off at least mostly religious.

A person's religious beliefs (for or against) are a major factor in their worldview, often being the undercurrent for all others. This is because this belief shapes people's views on big issues such as the purpose of life, how life should be lived in relation to oneself and others and what happens to people after they die. On the upside, this often leads to teachings with the goal of unity, peace and co-operation as per the teachings of most religions (some of which also make their way into non-religious systems). On the downside, this can lead to clashes over carrying out the will of the Powers-that-be, which religion should be followed or whether or not people should follow a god or religion at all. This can involve arguments and factionalizing, or worst case scenarios like pogroms and wars. Since they are an overarching and fairly common element in cultures, they often appear or are referenced in fiction.

In many societies throughout history, medicine and religion were interconnected. In many ancient religions, the clergy were also the doctors or well-versed in medical knowledge of the time, tending to physical health as well as spiritual health. A lot of the bedrock of modern medical science was established by religious people (such as the friar Gregor Mendel who founded the scientific field of genetics, and the Christian biologist/chemist Louis Pasteur who helped pioneer vaccination and preservation of food among other things - in fact, the process of ''"pasteurization"'' is named after him). In numerous parts of the world today, numerous hospitals were based around specific religious people or founded by people from a specific religious group, and many religious charities, such as the Salvation Army, have a medical branch.

Some religions have also codified the concept of charity; in these cases, religion and charity have been inextricably entangled throughout their long history. For example, the three Abrahamic religions Christianity, Islam, and Judaism each have doctrines that require their members to do good for others in various ways such as caring for the destitute or those in need.

Throughout history religions have frequently been enshrined in law as the "state religion", giving them special privileges such as extensive influence over the government or tax exemptions. In some cases, the clergy or a religious institution are the government (usually on behalf of the Powers-that-be for the religion in question) in a system known as theocracy. Today, several theocracies exist, with the two full examples being Vatican City and Iran.

Within the last few centuries, due to events such as the French Revolution, there has also been a significant amount of anti-religious sentiment, which regards religion as at best redundant and at worst destructive (beyond historical grievances with specific groups within religions, reasons for this view and whether or not those arguments have any merit, shall not be discussed here). For the most part, a combination of people identifying more with their culture or nation than their religion and the concept that religion and functions of state should not interfere with each other has turned into more of a "live and let live" mentality that doesn't really support or oppose any one religion and only reacts when said religions begin actively defying the state or the state starts bringing the boot down on religion. Most of the world's population is religious, with the amount of piety varying from country to country, and of course there are plenty of non-religious people who don't necessarily oppose religion despite not following any themselves.

Throughout history, numerous tyrannical regimes have tried to restrict or stamp out religions. This is usually because religious teachings put the figure/object of worship before the state in a conflict of interest and most religions' teachings condemn tyranny or [[Slaanesh|the vices tyrannical leaders indulge]]. Other reasons include tyrants dislike being answerable to anyone besides themselves and a tyrant may have some form of anti-religious prejudice. While nations have usually tried to block specific religions deemed "false" (read: religions opposing the state-sponsored religion in any way), several nations have tried purge and/or even replace it with an atheistic system, albeit with horrifying [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/League_of_Militant_Atheists results] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khmer_Rouge_rule_of_Cambodia#Religious_persecutions each] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_atheism#Human_rights time], often practicing the traits that religion gets criticized for by its detractors (as while Marx's "opiate of the masses" quote was just passive theory, [http://www.stephenhicks.org/2013/02/18/marxs-philosophy-and-the-necessity-of-violent-politics/ he flip-flopped on whether he endorsed revolutionary violence for his cause]).
Best case scenario, they sidegrade from one set of problems to another as cults of personality (commonly ones based on the ruler in charge) spring up to exploit the newly created power vacuum while believers who survive the regime try to continue their activities in secret. Worst case scenario, the society crumbles as the people degenerate into a [[Commorragh|violent, fractious and nihilistic mass]].

Aside from the aforementioned theocracies, the most religious nations are countries such as Brazil in South America or Zambia in Africa (Zambia even has a state religion alongside a law that allows for freedom of religion). China is - at the time this was written - the world's least religious and most atheistic country (followed by Japan and Sweden, the situation around North Korea is [[Skub|debatable]], since even though they violently suppress religions [https://www.foxnews.com/world/north-korea-publicly-executes-80-some-for-videos-or-bibles-report-says to the point that merely having copies of religious texts can be grounds for execution], they also have the Kim Cult blended with the Marxist offshoot ideology Juche).

==How this impacts /tg/==
A few major ways. Since most if not every society in real-life has had religion either be the basis for its founding or play a role in it - in addition to the various roles religion continues to have in society - religion is just as involved in the backstory or current lore of settings. There are three major "modes" of /tg/ settings and related fictions:
* Purely functional use of religion as a story device. (What we might call "Functionalists")
* Endorsement of religion and/or religious people. (What we might call "Religion is Good" types)
* Criticism of religion and/or religious people. (What we might call "Religion is Bad" types)
For ease of categorization, writers who use these modes will also be called proponents, detractors or functionalists (who can be pro, anti or neutral).

===Religion as a story device/Functionalists===
Compared to the two types of writers found below, these writers are usually just attempting to model their work after real-world [[Mythology]] and are frequently attempting to keep their views of Religion separate from their work. Frequently comes in one of two subspecies:
* The [[Standard Fantasy Setting]] default: The world is ruled by an ordinary polytheistic pantheon, usually close to some admixture of Norse and Greek mythologies. Some of them also have a Top God more powerful than all the others, and maybe the in-universe creator of everything who is mostly hands-off in cosmic affairs. The gods of these religions tend to focus on specific areas (gods of [[Paladin|Justice]] and [[Druid|Nature]] are common, for subtly obvious reasons) and frequently want their followers to propagate or promote these things.
* The kind of setting they wanted to make dictated the nature of the divine. For example, in [[Exalted]] just about all the figures anybody would call a "God" (besides the Exalted) are Useless, because the Exalted (which includes the Player Characters) are the guys who were made specifically to do whatever the gods needed them to do for reasons inherent to the setting, to go with the main theme of the setting for the PCs: "You can do ''almost anything'', except '''avoid the consequences of doing that anything'''".

===Religion as a Bad Thing/Detractors===
There are several writers of Science Fiction and Fantasy that are of the opinion "Religion Is Bad", having an axe to grind (sometimes warranted, sometimes not) with either one or more specific real-life religions. This is more common in Sci-Fi than fantasy because the focus on science appeals to the naturalist, empiricist and/or humanist worldview of such writers, with the supernatural being seen as an obstacle to that. Despite that, the view is found among some fantasy authors as well, such as Philip Pullman (who wrote the "His Dark Materials" series as atheistic pushback against C.S Lewis' "Chronicles of Narnia" series). Whatever the genre, this comes in flavors of "The Gods are Incompetent" (more on that below), "The Gods Don't Exist" or "The Gods are Evil". Cosmic Horror also tends to use the latter two or combine them into "The Gods are actually Incomprehensible and Destructive Aliens" ([[H.P. Lovecraft]] himself was an avowed anti-religious atheist - which is why cults are recurring villains in his stories). This also has the side effect of inclining science fiction towards an atheistic perspective.

Another major component is personal issues of the author such as grievance or prejudice, but that's case-by-case and a major can of worms. A writer could resent a specific religion or even the higher power a religion reveres (though opposition to a god or gods is called anti-theistic, not anti-religious), and single them out in their works due to personal bias or promoting an agenda. Worst case scenario, the story is an anti-religious wish fulfillment story or power fantasy - such as Frank Miller's "Holy Terror" comics against Islam and Garth Ennis' "Preacher" comics (and their live-action adaptation) against Christianity.

Whatever the motivation, writers saying this message either model their fictional religions on the worst excesses of real world religious people, use a distorted version of the actual religion or a fictional stand-in (the former is occasionally exaggerated and the latter two are often strawmen). The most frequently targeted religions are Christianity, Islam, any faith that practiced human sacrifice (such as the Aztec religious practices) and Scientology. Cults, especially those with beliefs that mainstream religions consider unorthodox or outright heretical, are especially fertile ground for this message, albeit running the risk of being misapplied to tar other groups with the same brush.

===Religion as a Good Thing/Proponents===
There are several Science Fiction and Fantasy writers who either are religious themselves and want to promote their worldview, look upon religion positively and put that into the story or both. This is more common in Fantasy than Sci-fi, partly because with the supernatural being THE fundamental element of the genre, this gives opportunities to explore many aspects of religiosity. This is less common in science-fiction, but not unheard of, such as Carl Sagan's novel "Contact" where God's signature is found in the digits of pi. These authors usually put more thought into their fictional religion plus its central figure (although they have a tendency to go all "Crystal Dragon Jesus"; that is, resemble real-life religions but with a few details changed), and try and have it be at least a somewhat good influence, although religious institutions and leaders are usually hit-and-miss affairs.

Some people make a fictional setting with figures from real-world religions, either in the real-world or [[CS Lewis|an alternate world like Narnia]]. Others use fictional religions that either visually resemble real-life religions or figures from them. Religions that often get this treatment are the Abrahamic faiths (most often Christianity), Greek mythology, Egyptian mythology and Norse mythology (albeit often a sanitized version of the latter three). In other cases they all but abandon any form of subtlety, with the fictional religion being distinguished from the real-world religion by only a handful of minor changes. Naturally, those kinds of works tend to come off as preachy, to say the least.

Another route this uses is the route that faith itself provides the power as per "[[Belief Function|Belief Function]]" (think Morpheus' "your mind makes it real" quote, but applying at the cosmological level). In fact, Warhammer often goes the route that the gods are powered by faith as well as from their sphere of influence which has either [[Sigmar|caused some people have risen to godhood]] or [[Ynnead|caused new gods to be born in the setting]]. In fact, this has proven the greatest weapon against Chaos in every Warhammer setting (and why the Emperor's plan to starve the Chaos Gods with atheism was doomed to fail from the start).

===Somewhat special cases===

One somewhat special case is the "Religion of Evil"; in many settings, there is a religion that is explicitly capital E Evil and seeks one of the usual "Card Carrying Villain" goals of Control, Conquest, Corruption, or Destruction. Frequently has some admixture of the worst aspects of Roman Paganism, Norse practices, the Aztec, Scientology and/or the various Abrahamic religions. They also often draw from those found in the writings of H.P Lovecraft. If this cult directly worships an individual Evil God, expect whatever makes sense for that deity to be some form of destructive activity--e.g., the cult of the God of Murder demands human sacrifice on a regular basis, with a certain portion of that explicitly being not-careful-enough cultists. Regardless, Religions of Evil can show up in all three above modes, and usually has a special purpose in all three:

* All three types need bad guys. In particular, a group who by definition is Evil is always good for some no-need-to-worry-about-the-ethics-or-morality-of-killing fodder (based on the idea that everyone in is group is evil because you have to do evil to be part of the group).
* Religion is Bad types tend to use them to say either "while they're all Bad, some are worse then others", that "Religion can be used to justify anything", use it as a strawman to tar all with the same brush or they have a personal axe to grind (either against an entire religion, a group within that religion or specific religious people the author dislikes).
* Religion is Good types or the sincerely religious tend to use them as analogies with fanaticism, criticize Real World cults, compare different beliefs or deal with negative aspects of religion (occasionally making jabs at competitive religions, or fellow believers the author disagrees with). Another approach is to have a Religion of Good fighting against a Religion of Evil - either as the heroes of the story or a valued ally - to say "there is good religion, so don't tar all with the same negative brush".
** As a side note, a lot of fantasy has moved slightly away from pure Religions of Evil, for much the same reason as [[Always Chaotic Evil]] races (questions of whether this fosters prejudice against real-life groups and audiences and authors demanding more motive for their villains). While there are still plenty of them, they usually add some nuance that makes them at least morally neutral under their own lights. Popular options are for them to be an off-shoot/subset of another religion and/or be taking vengeance for an injustice (real or perceived, both of which have '''plenty''' of real-life precedent).

[[Urban Fantasy]] writers are another special case, since almost all Urban Fantasy is set in something that might be called "the real world with a twist", with all the usual political trouble that implies. As a result, they can take one of a few routes:
* The most common route is "there are many possible explanations" and vague things up as much as possible ([[True Faith|Faith]] being the power that repels [[Vampire]]s rather than than a cross having any actual connection to a deity is a popular one).
* The second most common route (albeit rarer outside of Cosmic Horror) is the "Religion as a Bad Thing" route. The story is straight up [[Imperial Truth|atheistic/"Religion is Bad" propaganda]] for the more preachy (pun intended) anti-religious writers. It's also frequently used by writers going for [[Edgy|"edgy"]] stories with religious subject matter; in practice, both most often target Christianity or any contemporary cults. On that note, any fictional religions or cults are usually thinly-veiled stand-ins for real-life ones.
* Some Urban Fantasy works with a clear correct religion exist thanks to the above mentioned sincerely religious authors, which are typically [[Chick Tracts|barely veiled proselytizing]] or [[Twilight|just straight up terrible]], though [[Monster Hunter International|there are some good ones]].
* The fourth route, taken most notably by [[Supers|DC and Marvel comics]] among others, is to take an "All Myths are True" approach: All religions are sort of true, but none have any exclusivity to the Truth, so Thor and Athena might have the Archangel Michael on speeddial when the Orochi teams up with Apep to get up to no good and start making trouble in their neighborhoods (because "Mikey really likes kicking serpent tail, and gets annoyed when we don't at least try to invite him to an evil serpent ass-kicking."). Differs from the "vague things up" route by being clearer on some details, and also much more gonzo. The Abrahamic God is the exception here: He's usually kept especially vague, albeit more powerful (and yet infinitely less accessible) than anyone else in the setting, and only referred to by some codephrase (Marvel likes "The One Above All", DC generally goes for "The Presence" or "whatever is behind the Source Wall").

===Miscellaneous Observations===

Doing the "The Gods are Incompetent" thing (the similar but different "The Gods are Insane", "The Gods Are Assholes" and "The Gods Don't Actually Do Anything" routes also falls under this umbrella) can go into any of the three modes; in a sincere monotheist's (such as Christian) work, it can be a "Take That" to polytheistic religions; in a "Religion is Bad" atheist's, it can be one to religion in general; in a Buddhist-influenced work, it can be a part of the whole "even the Gods are tied up in the Wheel of Karma" concept; and, even if the author is not pushing any religious message in any way, there's a neutral, plot-structural reason to go "Incompetent Gods": it can make the adventurers the Most Competent People Available since if that wasn't the case there wouldn't be anything for the adventurers to do.

If a work has multiple writers, (as frequently happens with RPG and Wargame settings, and quite a few popular SciFi/Fantasy ones as well) there's a tendency for the writers to try and pull the setting into one of the other two "modes" depending on their personal views. This leads to the theme changing from one side to the other as the story progresses. A recent example is [[World of Warcraft|the spate of retcons to the cosmology of the Warcraft universe]] and the morality of its fundamental forces/dominant higher powers, the Light and the Void. If the story doesn't get focused on a pro-religion or anti-religion message, it may end up swinging back and forth between both sides or settle in a mid-point which doesn't take a strong stance either way.

Note that members of the "Religion is Bad" and "Religion is Good" brigades will get involved in arguments over the relative morality or "goodness" of various factions in the story and the accuracy of any messages a writer presents. Often history buffs will throw their hat into the ring as well.

==Examples of /tg/ connected fictional religions==
===Warhammer 40k===
* The [[Imperial Truth]] was originally the Emperor's plan on beliefs, which he and his servants propagated throughout the galaxy during the Great Crusade. Attempting to wean mankind away from Chaos and being a firm member of the "Religion is Bad" brigade, the Emperor proclaimed there are no gods, and religion had to be abolished willingly or by force while science or reason are to be used for explaining the universe and morality. Everything transpired according to his design, except theistic religiosity in the 40k universe is the best weapon against Chaos so Emps' interstellar state atheism policy gave them a major opening. Things went from bad to worse when people started looking up to the Emperor as a god himself, [[Exterminatus|he responded accordingly]], and the Chaos Gods got a new tool in the form of [[Lorgar]]. After the Horus Heresy and the Emperor's removal from galactic politics: the Imperial Truth was slowly shelved in favor of the Imperial Cult, to the point that espousing the teachings of the Truth is ironically considered heresy. Only a few practitioners of the Imperial Truth remain, most notably the Custodes and the Space Marines (both of whom know The Emperor better than anybody to worship him as a god. Plus, their religious autonomy.).
** The [[Imperial Cult]] is the present-day religion of the Imperium of Man, and is a mix of several Abrahamic Religions along with copious amounts of warmongering, fanaticism and xenophobia. Derived from the Lectitio Divinatus penned by [[Lorgar]] pre-HH, the Cult decrees that because the Emperor is capable of all these miracles and power: he ''must'' be a god, and why you should worship and pledge loyalty to him. Its a complete 180 from the Emperor's original teachings, and has simultaneously been responsible for damning and saving the Imperium past the clusterfuck of the Horus Heresy. It's unknown whether the Emperor still abhors godhood and religion and would abolish it the moment he could, or if he's resigned himself to becoming the very thing he fought against for mankind to persevere in these trying times. Whatever the case, he didn't want to be a god, but now he has no choice but to become one.
** The [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Cult Mechanicus]] (Machine Cult) is the religion of the Adeptus Mechanicus, placing a heavy emphasis on machines, viewing them as gifts from the Machine God called "The Omnissiah" Officially, the Omnissiah is The Emperor, which allows the Mechanicus to sidestep the more puritan pundits of the Imperial Cult (we worship The Emprah, just not how you do it). Unofficially, the Omnissiah may or may not be the C'tan god: The Void Dragon. It also has a high emphasis on the collection of knowledge, and one of the Admech's roles in the galaxy is to explore remote and uncharted regions of space to find and search for knowledge that has been lost throughout the millennia. The last of these, is guidelines on machines and knowledge. Officially, heretic(tek) and xeno works are to be abhorred and disposed of, viewing them as perversions of the holy Machine God's works. Unofficially however, more liberally-minded and higher-ranked Magos would happily hoard heretek/xeno works, seeing their potential over the more restricted and constrained works of the Mechanicus.

* Chaos is a violent and complicated henotheistic (believing in multiple gods but only worshipping one) or polytheistic religion with dozens, if not hundreds of interpretations. Even then, there's more sub-cults that worship their particular god in a specific way, either minutely or vastly different from everyone else among followers of the Big 4. And this doesn't even get into the realm of Chaos Undivided (which worships the concept of Chaos itself, instead of the individual gods) and [[Malal]]. Chaos has very little established guidelines regarding worship, apart from their patron god's/gods' general likes/dislikes, so any religious practices or rituals are either based on commands from the god/s or up to the imagination of the cult.
** Interestingly, there is a Space Marine of the Chaos faction who follows the Imperial Truth, and that is [[Fabius Bile]].

* All Greenskins worship Gork and Mork (jury's out on whether the [[Gretchin Revolutionary Committee]] do), but are too disorganized to have anything like a formal religion, though they do make effigies of Gork and Mork and call on them. The closest thing they have to tenants is that Gork favors violence, Mork favors cunning. Greenskins have gotten into fights over this, but violence is part of their nature and that of their gods. While they fight over religion, they also fight over almost any dispute anyway, and may even start a religious argument just to enjoy a good fight among themselves (though the only theological argument they can formulate is "is Gork the god of cunning or is Mork?" or vica versa). On the surface, religion does not play a big-enough role in Ork society compared to other races, being just another outlet for Orks to fight about. But if [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull]] is any indication: religion can have a great impact on Orks, with him being becoming one of the greatest Warlords in the galaxy, primarily because he thinks he's personally blessed by Gork and Mork themselves. So if you throw in the Orks' gestalt field into the mix, its likely that its not that religion doesn't matter to them, it's under-utilized.

* The Tau's creed "The [[Greater Good]]" is a specie-wide philosophy that was adopted ever since the initial unification of the Tau in the olden days. In a nutshell, the Greater Good emphasizes the co-existence of all Tau and sapient life in general into working together for a common goal to further the Tau's progress, seeing everyone's potential and hoping to utilize that for an, ahem, greater good. Personal religion isn't forbidden, but it must not contradict or override The Greater Good, and must be disregarded if it ever does so. Technically, this means Tau can be religious or non-religious, as the Greater Good is not a religion (due to lacking an afterlife and supernatural aspects, with the closest things to figures of worship being the Ethereals). This sounds all fine and dandy, but the Ethereal class, who are responsible for maintaining The Greater Good, have been shown to be less benevolent than believed and have been using their unnaturally powerful charisma to subtly oppress the Tau and use them to further their own agendas.
**The Farsight Enclaves, who have thrown off Ethereal rule, are the exception in that they have rejected The Greater Good, seeing it as the method of oppression used to keep the T'au under complete control of the ethereals. Due to this, if one considers the Greater Good a religion, The Enclaves are irreligious.
**As of the 4th Sphere Expansion disaster, Chaos Tau are starting to become a thing.
**At one point, the Earth Caste gathered Genestealer-infected Tau and studied them to see what would happen. Of course, a Genestealer cult developed and naturally they violently escaped control and surveillance. According to rumors, they've even produced a Genestealer-infected Ethereal.

* The Eldar have varying views on religiosity depending on their type. Their religion is polytheistic, with henotheistic offshoots, and Ausryan was the highest ranking god. However all of the Eldar gods were murder-raped to death by Slaanesh except for Isha (taken by Nurgle), Khaine (shattered and flung into realspace), Cegorach (hiding in the Webway) and Ynnead (born long after Slaanesh's birth). Their Pantheon's religious practices aren't fleshed out save for those of Cegorach, Isha, and Khaine, via the Harlequins and Aspect Warriors. With most of their gods out of commission, Eldar religious worship is of a deistic bent.
** Craftworlders and Exodites almost exclusively worship the original Eldar pantheon, though some engage in henotheistic worship of only one of the gods. Asuryan is more popular among Craftworlders while Isha is among Exodites, though nearly all give Khaine some tribute during war.
** Corsairs are all over the place, though Khaine is a popular choice given their more militant nature.
** Being agents of the Laughing God himself, the Harlequins' worship is centered around [[Cegorach]], whilst still paying minor tribute to the other gods.
** The new faith around Ynnead, the Ynnari, is rapidly growing but have yet to establish teachings or rituals.
** Unique among the Eldar, the Dark Eldar are irreligious for the most part and while they believe some gods exist they're too self-centered to worship them (this is canon). They're often also anti-religious to boot; a major landmark of Commorragh is a landfill of religious icons called Iconoclast's Mound, and one Wych cult - the Pain Eternal - revolves around killing religious people and destroying shrines and holy sites. The sole exception, except for Dark Eldar who stop being Dark Eldar, are the [[Incubi]] who hold [[Khaine]] in high regard.
** The Ynnari have encountered atleast one ancient Craftworld that turned into an entire Genestealer cult in a misguided attempt to avoid getting their souls consumed by Slaanesh as their ship had no infinity circuit present. We're not sure if this worked to any capacity (if at all, given the Hive Mind does not absorb souls), but they were taken down by the Ynnari for obvious reasons.
** There are numerous rumors of a very small number of Chaos Eldar, but these are barely fleshed out and heavily classified in-universe. There have been verified Nurgle-worshipping Eldar and persistent rumors that some have embraced Slaanesh without becoming soul-food. Apart from this, some Dark Eldar have been willing to summon Chaos Daemons or work with Chaos worshippers ([[Fabius Bile|or allies of Chaos]]) to further their own ends.

* While the Necrontyr had religions before certain [[C'tan|star entities]] [[Necrons|roboticizied them]], those aren't fleshed out or detailed. Its also heavily implied the C'tan co-opted the Necrontyr religion beforehand. With the change to Necrons taking the higher though processes of most of them, any Necrons who can comprehend faith and religiosity either worship the C'tan or have become irreligious.

* The Tyranids themselves are irreligious, being spehss bugs and all, but understand at least a few of the advantages of religion. [[Genestealer]]s infect people and together they establish cults on targeted worlds, such as one worshipping "Children of the Stars", a perversion of the Imperial Cult (such as one that worships a [[Swarmlord|four-armed]] version of the Emperor) or something else like "Celebrants of Nihilism" (yes, that's a canon Genestealer cult name). Psychic influence is often involved and, notably, the Genestealers do not consider themselves gods. Once the Tyranids arrive en-masse, the cult-gets assimilated along with all non-Tyranids willingly or not. An interesting tidbit is that the Hive Mind stops the Tyranids from attacking the cultists in early stages of the invasion and leads them on, only to later override the Genestealers' wills and and make them slaughter the cultists.

===Dungeons and Dragons===
* Among Dungeons and Dragons settings, [[Planescape]], [[Eberron]], and [[Pathfinder]] are notable for having some coherent things that could be called "Religions", rather then the usual generic Pantheism.
** Most of Planescape's Factions effectively count as religions, to the point they can produce [[Cleric]]s ([[Planescape: Torment#Fall-From-Grace|Atheist ones at that]]). Yes, even the Athar. (Perhaps ''especially'' the Athar.)
** Half of Eberron's religions aren't worship of deities. The [[Blood of Vol]] seeks to unlock the divinity within one's self and rejects the gods (if they even exist) and the [[Path of Inspiration]] seeks to improve their next reincarnation. The Undying Court worships not gods but their undead ancestors that make up their government. The [[Path of Light]], [[Warforged_Mysteries#The_Becoming_God|Becoming God]] and [[Warforged_Mysteries#The_Reforged|Reforged]] all seek to ''create'' a deity. Even some interpretations of the [[Sovereign Host]], like the one most common among dragons, don't worship them as deities. Due to the way divine casting works in Eberron, all of these can produce divine casters.
** There's a handful of religions on [[Golarion]] that aren't merely worship of pantheons. The most prominent (read: Actually has mechanical support) is the [[Prophecies of Kalistrade]], which is basically fantasy [[Star Trek|Ferengi]].

* [[D20 Modern]]'s [[Urban Arcana]], unusually for urban fantasy, has D&D deities bleed into reality alongside the monsters. You are still able to play a <s>cleric</s> "acolyte" of any real world deity despite this.

===Star Wars===
* [[Star Wars]] is inconsistent on if the [[The Force]] is a religion. The Jedi and the Sith ''could'' both be considered religions as they are considered monastic, but mix in several other traits such as being meritocratic (Jedi) and kraterocratic (Sith) and Lucas himself has axed at least one prototyped book for portraying them too much as a religion. On the other hand, there's the Imperial officer in ''"A New Hope"'' who disses Vader's ways as "sad devotion to ancient religion", only to get [[Meme|chided for his lack of faith with a Force choke]]. It's also notable that the Sith were former Jedi who left the Jedi path for several reasons including [[Heresy|disagreements over the teachings of that creed]]. Aside from that, religion is nearly always a non-human tradition, something noted in a culture's historical background and never seen implying its extinction, or a scam. The religiously linked "damn" and "hell" are the two real world swear words that exist in-universe, purely because Han Solo used them in the films and while a young Anakin told Padme about "angels" in the prequel film these are later revealed to be in-universe aliens, albeit mysterious and powerful ones.
** There are rare exceptions where a religion is fleshed out and explored, and the writing goes various directions for better or worse. A notable example is the aggressive polytheistic religion of the antagonistic Yuuzhan Vong from the EU (which the story gradually revealed was long ago perverted from benevolent roots, and this perverted form takes a few cues from Islam, Maori beliefs and Aztec mythology).

===Star Trek===
* Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry had a low opinion of religion and in his vision humanity had done away with it and was better off for it and he had no interest in adding it to the aliens. However, some of the cast and crew disagreed and occasionally references to religions found their way into the show, which increased after Roddenberry's death. The Federation's culture is distinctly humanistic (extending the concept to alien species) in its outlook, in which religion is regarded as a thing of the past.
** While there are plenty of "Godlike" entities in Star Trek, almost all are treated as Sufficiently Advanced Aliens in the Arthur C. Clarke sense--and in particular, in ST:TNG, the flip side, that Picard and his crew are frequently shown to look like Gods to sufficiently primitive aliens, is gone into in more than one episode.
** The primary religion of the Federation's main frenemies, the Klingons, is a deistic religion where a Klingon warrior killed their gods, and in their belief Klingons who live according to those tenets get to live in a pseudo-Valhalla.
** The Bajorans are a highly religious alien race, with the majority following peaceful teachings and a minority of violent extremists.
*** Of some note, the Bajoran religion is of interest because their "Gods" actually exist, and can be (somewhat incomprehensibly) talked to (a rarity outside of [[Science Fantasy]]). In other words, they were frequently a method of having some religion vs. science debates where the divine entity (A) explicitly exists, (B) is explainable as "sufficiently advanced and unusual aliens", and (C) aren't jerks, just bad at communication with those of us who experience time linearly--in other words, with a deck that wasn't quite as badly stacked. The religiosity was meant to be as a way of contrasting the Starfleet personnel with the native population and to draw a parallel between Bajorans under the Cardassian Occupation and various real world recently freed oppressed religious-slash-ethnic groups.
** <s>In the fifth Star Trek movie, ''"The Final Frontier"'', some of the crew steal the Enterprise to look for God and instead find a powerful alien being impersonating God in the center of the universe</s> '''Just like there is no live-action movie of Avatar: The Last Airbender, there is totally no Star Trek 5!'''

===World of Darkness===
* Very large books could be written about religion and [[World of Darkness]]/Chronicles of Darkness. We'll just cover a few highlights:
** From [[Vampire: The Requiem]], there's the the Lancea et Sanctum, which might be best described as "Christianity for Vampires", and the Circle of the Crone, which is "Pagan Vampires". Both have Vampire miracles on tap (pun intended).
** [[Hunter: The Vigil]] has various religious organizations among the Compacts and Conspiracies, some very similar to real world ones, others...not so much.
** [[Mage: The Ascension]] has various religious Traditions, portrayed in that highly-stereotypical and highly-depending-on-the-author way typical of old WoD.

==See also==
* [[Mythology]]
* [[True Faith]], a common mechanic to weaponize religion in [[Urban Fantasy]].

[[Category:Not related]]
[[Category:History]]