2d4chan - User contributions [en]

Idoneth Deepkin

2020-07-06T06:56:38Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:F12F:1B08:E3BB:8393: /* Enclaves */

{{Age of Sigmar Faction|Faction=Idoneth Deepkin|Logo=Fucking_Idoneth.jpeg|Alliance=Order|Motto=Soul-Hunting Pirates riding Sea Monsters.}}

{{topquote|Marge. Kids. Everything's gonna be just fine. Now go upstairs and pack your bags. We're gonna start a new life... under the sea.|Homer Simpson - "Homer Badman".}}
{{topquote|I got no soul, but I am a soldier|The Killers - "All These Things That I've Done". Well, that's how we remember it going.}}
{{topquote|We have been hiding long enough. The time has come for Atlantis to rise again.|Prince Orm of [[/co/|Aquaman]] fame}}
{{topquote|[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfD5u9Ary6M/ Let Mathlann strike ye dead, Winslow!! HAAAARRRRRRRKK!!!]]| Willem Dafoe- "The Lighthouse".}}

The Idoneth Deepkin are fucking [[awesome]]. They are fish elves who ride giant fish into battle, what’s not to love?

AHEM.

The '''Idoneth Deepkin''' are a new faction of [[Warhammer: Age of Sigmar]], composed of marine aelves and assorted sea fauna. As the previous writer said, they are rather awesome in their uncommon design and the creatures they bring. Also, elves riding sharks and eels. Yeah, sweet looking.

==Origins==
After [[Teclis]], [[Tyrion]], [[Malekith|Malerion]], and [[Morathi]] made [[Slaanesh]] start shitting out elf souls, Teclis took the devout of [[Mathlann]] (the deceased elf god of the ocean) and made a new home for them in Hysh called Leiriu, a luminescent city also known as the Bright Haven or City of Reflection. There, Teclis taught these newborn aelves, the "Cythai", about the old world and their gods hoping to re-create the High Elves.

However, they weren't exactly model elves: they were withdrawn, resentful and traumatized by their time within Slaanesh. Upon learning this, Teclis wasn't thrilled with them. He tried to find what went wrong, but the Cythai weren't cooperative ; Teclis' methods made some fall into madness, so they weren't exactly without reason. Afraid for their lives and unable or unwilling to cope with Teclis' methods, they fled into the oceans of the Mortal Realms. Teclis, being a [[Eldrad|dick]], tried to exterminate them for good measure, but his brother Tyrion convinced him to be merciful so he let them go.

Over time, each of the Cythai's enclaves developed differently, but all were affected by their new environs and self-imposed isolation. The magic they learned from Teclis was adapted so they could live underwater, even at the most crushing of depths. They grew attuned to their new surroundings, learning to trust vibrations and changes in pressure more than sight or sound. Some of them even became adept in the art of seeing the flaring soul-stuff that animates the living.

==History==
The elves, now the ‘Idoneth’, didn't learn that Tyrion had made Teclis cool down and stayed in hiding. Having rejected Teclis they called out to Mathlann, but he was dead so they reached out to other gods, who either didn't hear them, were also dead or didn't care. Having accepted they were people without a proper god, they tried to re-create Mathlann and society as best they could.

After making their new societies, they calmed down and took stock of their situation. Accepting the possibility that their time in Slaanesh had contaminated them, the Idoneth did some research and discovered one of the side-effects. They called it ''mallachi'', and it was when an Idoneth went into a state of raging madness that ended in savage debauchery, but this only happened to a few. A second, far worse, side-effect was found when they started having babies as [[Grimdark|only one in a hundred Idoneth babies survived past infancy]]. The Idoneth soon figured out their progeny were born with souls that swiftly withered.

Desperate and without divine aid, they turned to magic to fix the problem without success. Between the extremely high infant mortality rate, wars and the dangers of the ocean, Idoneth numbers rapidly dwindled. Things only changed when they found out [[Dark Eldar|if you kill something with a soul and put that soul into an elf, they won't die prematurely]]. They first tried this on animals, but animal souls only brought them days, so they decided to go to the surface and start doing this to other people. Though other souls, such as those of human, duardin, orruks and even sylvaneth worked equally well for the Idoneth's purpose, it often took more than a few souls to empower an elf to live even a third of their normal lifespan.

At first it was only for survival, since the withering of souls remained as aggressive and frequent as ever and has so far proven incurable, but later they did it for the expansion of their newly found enclaves. At first it was only one in Hysh, but after the discovery of the '''Whirlways''', whirlpools that work as underwater Realmgates, they started to get into the rest of the realms. Due to [[Skub|differences among the Cytharai]] and a growing population, they expanded to all Mortal Realms save [[Azyr]] and founded several enclaves in all of them. They developed a pattern of swift raids and a strict "leave no witnesses" policy, surrounding themselves with memory-altering magic so anyone who encountered them would forget it soon after if the Idoneth didn't kill or capture them first (and the rare few who managed to escape with this knowledge were written off as lunatics or deluded).

But there were other powers out there so the secret could only last for so long. [[Sigmar]] long suspected that something dangerous was in the oceans, but had other concerns so he didn't go looking. It was Alarielle and the Sylvaneth who first pierced the veil of secrecy. In Ghyran, an Idoneth attack on some coastal Sylvaneth drew the attention of [[Alarielle]], who entered the fray and personally defeated them in battle. Since Alarielle is a goddess, she's immune to their memory-altering magic and her word is all the Sylvaneth would need to be on guard against the Idoneth. While the Sylvaneth kept the secret, the Idoneth dialed back their attacks and kept a low profile in Ghyran. On the Chaos side, the [[Keeper of Secrets]] Sslish the Depraved followed the spoor of strange magic and eventually found an Idoneth army, attacking them with a daemonic army until an Eidolon destroyed them. [[Archaon]] had long suspected there were more aelves than would seem, but wasn't able to confirm this until his Gaunt Summoners found the same magic and scried, finding and binding Sslish before Archaon tortured the daemon into spilling the beans.

The Idoneth became quite the hikkikomori: betrayed by their creator, forced into bad habits for survival and hated by many. They thought that they didn't need the surface world and limited themselves to the oceans, leaving only for raiding souls. During the Age of Chaos this started to change. They fought the forces of Chaos wherever they found them, either leaving Chaos' other opponents alone or killing them and taking their souls too. High King Volturnos realized that they'd have to ally with others to fight off Chaos though most other Idoneth didn't approve of this. First, he reached out to Alarielle for peace talks but, wary of trickery and aware of the Idoneth's past actions, Alarielle turned them down. They also encountered some Stormcast Eternals, and after a battle where the Idoneth learned they're unable to capture Stormcast souls due to Sigmar's blessing, they found new allies in the Sigmarines.

They also have kind of a big issue with [[Nagash]]. You see, Nagash knew about the disappeared souls from the get-go and is kind of territorial in regards to the dead. So, because they're stealing souls to save themselves, he's not happy with them (read: really hates these guys). At first he had no idea who was taking the souls or where, despite extensive searching on his part. After the accidental drainage of a sea in Shyish (''How the hell do you drain a sea "accidentally"?!'') by the [[Skaven]] (''...oh, THAT's how. Even better, [[Thanquol|everyone's favorite Grey Seer]] was responsible.''), [[Nagash]] caught on to their existence and location. Now he’s emptying more seas in Shyish and sending waves of undead after them in all the realms to stamp them out because he’s the only guy who believes himself to be allowed to have dead souls. In their desperation, the Idoneth of Shyish changed their foreign policy and allied with the Forces of Order. Some Idoneth got so desperate they somewhat reconciled with their estranged creator-god Teclis.

==Society==
The Idoneth society is divided in three clear castes. First we have the '''Namarti''', composed of those 90% of Idoneth who were born with incomplete souls, extremely pale skin, short lifespan (for an aelf anyway, they may still live more than us puny humans) and without eyes that are the majority of the population and are the workforce. Then we have the lucky 10% dudes that were born with complete souls (aka, average aelves): the '''Akhelians''', the warrior caste and those who ride the sweet-looking eels, sharks, Deepmares and Leviadons; and the '''Isharann''', that are the magic users and priests. However, the first ones among all of them were the '''Cytharai''' which due to accidents, wars or other shenanigans all of them have died out save the exception of the [[Volturnos|High King of the Deep Volturnos]], who is still alive after millennia and a being a fighter who leads from the front.

One of the more weird phenomena that happens around these guys on land is the so-called '''Ethersea'''. This is a manifestation of their marine magic, taking the form of a mist that enables them to use their superior sea-faring abilities and allow their sea beasts to survive where there's no water in miles and move as if they were in water. The Ethersea also have the secondary effect that it manipulates the land and makes it gain deep-sea characteristics spontaneously, like shipwhrecks, coral, fish shoals to start running freely, bubble breath...

A possible bit of continuity errors already creeping in; whilst the armybook describes the Namarti caste as eyeless, an Idoneth-focused short story in the anthology "Myths and Revenants" declares that the Namarti are actually born with eyes, but their ensouled counterparts ceremonially cut their eyes out when they reach puberty for undisclosed reasons.

==Enclaves==
The "factions" of the Deepkin are the Enclaves, city-states founded under the seas of the realms connected by underwater realm gates called Whirlways. Whilst there are, as expected with such a large setting, countless Enclaves, there are six main ones that have been fleshed out.

*'''Ionrach''': [[Ultramarines|The posterboys, who have their armour painted a shiny blue and also have a venerable leader from a forgotten age]]. The Ionrach are one of the first enclaves that ran from the rays of Teclis into the seas of Hysh, though they have since emigrated to Ghyran. Notably the most "friendly" of the enclaves, to the point where they will actually co-operate with the other forces of Order.
*'''Dhom-Hain''': The polar opposites of the Ionrach, being the first to part ways with their fellow Deepkin to settle in the ''literal hellscape'' that are the seas of Ghur. Seriously, imagine every lethal predator in our seas but 10x larger and there's ridiculous amounts of them. They settled in a deep chasm, where lots of the Fangmora Eels lurked. This meant that they use more Akhelians than other enclaves. Once went to Ghyran and fought some Sylvaneth until Alarielle kicked their asses over it. Said battle cost them a valuable ancestral heirloom, which several Dhom-Hain nobles have tried and failed to retrieve.
*'''Fuethan''': Living in the seas of Aqshy means that these Deepkin are especially aggressive, and they're very mean spirited when collecting souls. Whilst enclaves like the Ionrach would spare the soul of say, a child, the Fuethan would do no such thing. In fact, they take such glee in raiding that they are found [[RIP AND TEAR|still hacking away at bodies even when they're long dead]]. They've also been behind or involved in every Idoneth civil war.
*'''Mor'Phann''': Dour and pale, the Mor'Phann inhabit the dark seas in Shyish. They use lots of mist and pale tentacled creatures,many were hit especially hard by the Necroquake to the point where they had to ally with the Stormcast to not die.
*'''Briomdar''': These guys used to be a part of the Ionrach, before declaring independence and settling in the middle of an undersea kelp forst in Ghyran. Experts at navigating terrain and ambushes - even by Idoneth standards - they camouflage themselves in kelp to leap out at unsuspecting passerbys. As an Ironarch off-shoot, they're the second most willing to ally with non-Idoneth.
*'''Nautilar''': An enclave that literally [[Awesome|lives on the shell of a giant crusteacean]] called the Giant Scaphodon. Recently they took quite a beating from some [[Skaven]] that tunnelled underwater. Also used to be a part of the Ionrach.

==Soulbound==
According to [[Age of Sigmar Roleplay]], becoming a Soulbound is a terrifying yet tempting idea for Idoneth Deepkin. On the one hand, they're incredibly isolationist, and they have a racial grudge against their creator-god [[Teclis]]. On the other hand, undergoing the rite of Binding strengthens a Deepkin's soul to a degree that they can't achieve on their own, freeing them forever from both the fear of losing their souls and from the phantom pain that haunts their entire race, whilst simultaneously giving them permission to reap souls aplenty from foes and fallen allies alike. Those Idoneth who do agree to make the pledge (usually specifying that they will never directly serve Teclis first) are essentially forever exiled from their people, although the most foresighted Idoneth Kings and Queens, such as those descended from Ionrach, have realized that, in this changing age, Idoneth Soulbound can make useful ambassadors for their race.

Idoneth Soulbound have access to the '''Akhelian Emissary''', '''Isharann Soulscryer''' and '''Isharann Tidecaster''' archetypes in the corebook.

==An Interesting Note==
Mantic started producing the Trident Realm range several years before Idoneth Deepkin were conceived. They're also categorically not elves (Kings of War has elf factions, the Trident Realm isn't one of them), they're mostly naiads and thull with a number of other underwater-themed species.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
file:Fucking_Idoneth.jpeg
file:Idometh_army.jpeg
file:Battleshark.jpg|WE'RE RIDING A SHARK! WE'RE RIDING A SHARK! SUCK OUR DICKS, WE'RE RIDING A SHARK!
</gallery>

==See Also==
*[[Age of Sigmar/Tactics/Order/Idoneth Deepkin|Tactics/Deepkin]]

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar}}
{{Idoneth Deepkin-Units}}

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]

Lady Olynder

2020-07-06T06:33:02Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:F12F:1B08:E3BB:8393: /* History */

[[File:Lady Olynder.jpeg|thumb|Ghost Boob]]
{{topquote|Do not resist – death is inevitable. The more quickly you succumb, the sooner your suffering will be over. Come to me, and be mine for evermore…|Lady Olynder, still trying to charm people despite losing her good looks.}}
{{topquote|You think a woman like that's sniffing around because she likes your personality? Your mother was beautiful, they're all beautiful... until they're snarling after your trust fund like a pack of ravening wolves.|Norman Osborn - Spider-Man (the Sam Rami film)}}
{{topquote|Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did|Henry Youngman}}

The new girl on the skeletal block, Lady Olynder is the new [[Mortarch|Mortarch of Grief]], and is the leader of the [[Nighthaunt]] Processions. Carrying all the despair in the realms due to her complete and utter apathy to the misery of others in life, she reeeeally hates the living. If she had a voice, it would be Debbie from Addams Family Values.

==History==
In life, she was one of the most beautiful women in the empire Dolorum. But Olynder was also a Gold Digger's Gold Digger, scheming, sleeping and slaying her way to the top. Such was Olynder's charm that she married the son of Dolorum's King before both promptly "disappeared", leaving Olynder in charge. Olynder wore a veil and cried a lot about their loss in public Victoria-style, yet the veil hid her shit-eating grin over how smart she was. Some knights had figured out her evil scheme and planned to overthrow her, but she thwarted them by seducing one of their members, Gharest Malcor, into ratting out his fellow conspirators. Malcor himself would end up assassinated shortly thereafter for being too stupid to realize what happens to anybody Olynder says she's going to marry. As a queen she ruled Dolorum for a few years and among other things stopped honoring Nagash (this would really come back to haunt Olynder - pun intended), until the Age of Chaos came-a-knocking.

The forces of Nurgle quickly invaded Dolorum. Olynder cried more crocodile tears for the realm while she was all safe in her tower, partying away like the Masque of the Red Death. Olynder was so selfish that when the forces of Nurgle kicked down the doors to her throne room, she tried to parley with them to save her own life. This was the final straw for everyone's favorite [[Nagash|Skele-Pope]]; Nagash had been watching Olynder, and she'd been pissing him off for a while, so now he was going to make her pay for it. He seized her soul and doomed her to haunt the ruins of her Kingdom for all eternity, feeling all the misery in the Mortal Realms as revenge for the fake tears she cried in life (<s>one of the few times where </s> ''Just another example of how'' the victims of Nagash's special brand of karma indisputably deserved it).

Naggy then proceeded to forget about her, until the Necroquake unleashed the Nighthaunt on the realms. He realized how spooky they were, but they needed direction to be truly efficient. He then hosted a Death equivalent of Dragon's Den to decide on who would be the new Mortarch. Lo and behold, he stumbled upon the ruins of Dolorum, finding that Olynder had organized a hugeass Ghost-Kingdom while he wasn't looking. And so, she became the Mortarch of Grief, marshaling the ghosties into the processions we all know and love. Nagash also gifted her a new army called the Emerald Host, consisting of the ghosts of all the knights who plotted against her in life, now forced to forever serve the woman they hated, and led by Gharest Malcor who'd been <s>friend-zoned</s> turned into a Knight of Shrouds.

Since then Olynder actually proved to be a good general. She defeated the forces of the Chaos Warlord Thur and destroyed the Stormcast defenders at the siege of Morlaix - even defeating their Lord-Celestant in single combat. Despite this, Olynder had a knack for going LEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOY. During a battle against her old foe Thur to liberate Underworld of Lyria, this nearly got Olynder killed by the Bloodthrister Khazkhan until Nagash and Arkhan bailed her out.

Nagash decided to give her an adviser and to that end she was married to [[Kurdoss Valentian]], which Nagash also used as a joke at both of their expenses (for her, it's because marrying for power and murdering her husbands was how she earned her punishment). Her biggest achievement happened during the siege of Lethis, where she managed to actually [[Awesome|kill the Celestant-Prime with her hourglass, who until then had proven to be a deus ex machina in every situation, and free an ancient evil]]. What's more, this ancient evil that was locked away is revealed to be Katakros, who would go on to be made leader of the [[Ossiarch Bonereapers]] (though from their track records, Olynder seems like a better general than Katakros).

She also worked with Katakros in the attack on the Eightpoints, leading the initial attack with the Legion of Grief and personally killing the Chaos Lord Namos Saskarid. She proceeded to lead the Legion of Grief across the Eightpoints, slaughtering Chaos followers and leaving their bodies and souls as raw materials for the Ossiarch Bonereapers. However, once Archaon came home, the Death armies were quickly routed, with Olynder herself being slain by Be’lakor and her soul sent screaming back to Nagash.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File: Olynder Art.jpeg
</gallery>

{{Nighthaunt-Characters}}

Lady Olynder

2020-07-06T06:32:33Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:F12F:1B08:E3BB:8393: /* History */

[[File:Lady Olynder.jpeg|thumb|Ghost Boob]]
{{topquote|Do not resist – death is inevitable. The more quickly you succumb, the sooner your suffering will be over. Come to me, and be mine for evermore…|Lady Olynder, still trying to charm people despite losing her good looks.}}
{{topquote|You think a woman like that's sniffing around because she likes your personality? Your mother was beautiful, they're all beautiful... until they're snarling after your trust fund like a pack of ravening wolves.|Norman Osborn - Spider-Man (the Sam Rami film)}}
{{topquote|Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did|Henry Youngman}}

The new girl on the skeletal block, Lady Olynder is the new [[Mortarch|Mortarch of Grief]], and is the leader of the [[Nighthaunt]] Processions. Carrying all the despair in the realms due to her complete and utter apathy to the misery of others in life, she reeeeally hates the living. If she had a voice, it would be Debbie from Addams Family Values.

==History==
In life, she was one of the most beautiful women in the empire Dolorum. But Olynder was also a Gold Digger's Gold Digger, scheming, sleeping and slaying her way to the top. Such was Olynder's charm that she married the son of Dolorum's King before both promptly "disappeared", leaving Olynder in charge. Olynder wore a veil and cried a lot about their loss in public Victoria-style, yet the veil hid her shit-eating grin over how smart she was. Some knights had figured out her evil scheme and planned to overthrow her, but she thwarted them by seducing one of their members, Gharest Malcor, into ratting out his fellow conspirators. Malcor himself would end up assassinated shortly thereafter for being too stupid to realize what happens to anybody Olynder says she's going to marry. As a queen she ruled Dolorum for a few years and among other things stopped honoring Nagash (this would really come back to haunt Olynder - pun intended), until the Age of Chaos came-a-knocking.

The forces of Nurgle quickly invaded Dolorum. Olynder cried more crocodile tears for the realm while she was all safe in her tower, partying away like the Masque of the Red Death. Olynder was so selfish that when the forces of Nurgle kicked down the doors to her throne room, she tried to parley with them to save her own life. This was the final straw for everyone's favorite [[Nagash|Skele-Pope]]; Nagash had been watching Olynder, and she'd been pissing him off for a while, so now he was going to make her pay for it. He seized her soul and doomed her to haunt the ruins of her Kingdom for all eternity, feeling all the misery in the Mortal Realms as revenge for the fake tears she cried in life (<s>one of the few times where </s> ''Just another example of how'' the victims of Nagash's special brand of karma indisputably deserved it).

Naggy then proceeded to forget about her, until the Necroquake unleashed the Nighthaunt on the realms. He realized how spooky they were, but they needed direction to be truly efficient. He then hosted a Death equivalent of Dragon's Den to decide on who would be the new Mortarch. Lo and behold, he stumbled upon the ruins of Dolorum, finding that Olynder had organized a hugeass Ghost-Kingdom while he wasn't looking. And so, she became the Mortarch of Grief, marshaling the ghosties into the processions we all know and love. Nagash also gifted her a new army called the Emerald Host, consisting of the ghosts of all the knights who plotted against her in life, now forced to forever serve the woman they hated, and led by Gharest Malcor who'd been <s>friend-zoned</s> turned into a Knight of Shrouds.

Since then Olynder actually proved to be a good general. She defeated the forces of the Chaos Warlord Thur and destroyed the Stormcast defenders at the siege of Morlaix - even defeating their Lord-Celestant in single combat. Despite this, Olynder had a knack for going LEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOY. During a battle against her old foe Thur to liberate Underworld of Lyria, this nearly got Olynder killed by the Bloodthrister Khazkhan until Nagash and Arkhan bailed her out.

Nagash decided to give her an adviser and to that end she was married to [[Kurdoss Valentian]], which Nagash also used as a joke at both of their expenses (for her, it's because marrying for power and murdering her husbands was how she earned her punishment). Her biggest achievement happened during the siege of Lethis, where she managed to actually [[Awesome|kill the Celestant-Prime with her hourglass, who until then had proven to be a deus ex machina in every situation, and free an ancient evil]]. What's more, this ancient evil that was locked away is revealed to be Katakros, who would go on to be made leader of the [[Ossiarch Bonereapers]] (though from their track records, Olynder seems like a better general than Katakros).

She also worked with Katakros in the attack on the Eightpoints, leading the initial attack with the Legion of Grief and personally killing the Chaos Lord Namos Saskarid. She proceeded to lead the Legion of Grief across the Eightpoints, slaughtering Chaos followers and leaving their bodies and souls as raw materials for the Ossiarch Bonereapers. However, once Archaon came home, the Death armies were quickly routed, with Olynder herself being slain by Bea’lakor and her soul sent screaming back to Nagash.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File: Olynder Art.jpeg
</gallery>

{{Nighthaunt-Characters}}

Lady Olynder

2020-07-06T06:32:20Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:F12F:1B08:E3BB:8393: /* History */

[[File:Lady Olynder.jpeg|thumb|Ghost Boob]]
{{topquote|Do not resist – death is inevitable. The more quickly you succumb, the sooner your suffering will be over. Come to me, and be mine for evermore…|Lady Olynder, still trying to charm people despite losing her good looks.}}
{{topquote|You think a woman like that's sniffing around because she likes your personality? Your mother was beautiful, they're all beautiful... until they're snarling after your trust fund like a pack of ravening wolves.|Norman Osborn - Spider-Man (the Sam Rami film)}}
{{topquote|Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did|Henry Youngman}}

The new girl on the skeletal block, Lady Olynder is the new [[Mortarch|Mortarch of Grief]], and is the leader of the [[Nighthaunt]] Processions. Carrying all the despair in the realms due to her complete and utter apathy to the misery of others in life, she reeeeally hates the living. If she had a voice, it would be Debbie from Addams Family Values.

==History==
In life, she was one of the most beautiful women in the empire Dolorum. But Olynder was also a Gold Digger's Gold Digger, scheming, sleeping and slaying her way to the top. Such was Olynder's charm that she married the son of Dolorum's King before both promptly "disappeared", leaving Olynder in charge. Olynder wore a veil and cried a lot about their loss in public Victoria-style, yet the veil hid her shit-eating grin over how smart she was. Some knights had figured out her evil scheme and planned to overthrow her, but she thwarted them by seducing one of their members, Gharest Malcor, into ratting out his fellow conspirators. Malcor himself would end up assassinated shortly thereafter for being too stupid to realize what happens to anybody Olynder says she's going to marry. As a queen she ruled Dolorum for a few years and among other things stopped honoring Nagash (this would really come back to haunt Olynder - pun intended), until the Age of Chaos came-a-knocking.

The forces of Nurgle quickly invaded Dolorum. Olynder cried more crocodile tears for the realm while she was all safe in her tower, partying away like the Masque of the Red Death. Olynder was so selfish that when the forces of Nurgle kicked down the doors to her throne room, she tried to parley with them to save her own life. This was the final straw for everyone's favorite [[Nagash|Skele-Pope]]; Nagash had been watching Olynder, and she'd been pissing him off for a while, so now he was going to make her pay for it. He seized her soul and doomed her to haunt the ruins of her Kingdom for all eternity, feeling all the misery in the Mortal Realms as revenge for the fake tears she cried in life (<s>one of the few times where </s> ''Just another example of how'' the victims of Nagash's special brand of karma indisputably deserved it).

Naggy then proceeded to forget about her, until the Necroquake unleashed the Nighthaunt on the realms. He realized how spooky they were, but they needed direction to be truly efficient. He then hosted a Death equivalent of Dragon's Den to decide on who would be the new Mortarch. Lo and behold, he stumbled upon the ruins of Dolorum, finding that Olynder had organized a hugeass Ghost-Kingdom while he wasn't looking. And so, she became the Mortarch of Grief, marshaling the ghosties into the processions we all know and love. Nagash also gifted her a new army called the Emerald Host, consisting of the ghosts of all the knights who plotted against her in life, now forced to forever serve the woman they hated, and led by Gharest Malcor who'd been <s>friend-zoned</s> turned into a Knight of Shrouds.

Since then Olynder actually proved to be a good general. She defeated the forces of the Chaos Warlord Thur and destroyed the Stormcast defenders at the siege of Morlaix - even defeating their Lord-Celestant in single combat. Despite this, Olynder had a knack for going LEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOY. During a battle against her old foe Thur to liberate Underworld of Lyria, this nearly got Olynder killed by the Bloodthrister Khazkhan until Nagash and Arkhan bailed her out.

Nagash decided to give her an adviser and to that end she was married to [[Kurdoss Valentian]], which Nagash also used as a joke at both of their expenses (for her, it's because marrying for power and murdering her husbands was how she earned her punishment). Her biggest achievement happened during the siege of Lethis, where she managed to actually [[Awesome|kill the Celestant-Prime with her hourglass, who until then had proven to be a deus ex machina in every situation, and free an ancient evil]]. What's more, this ancient evil that was locked away is revealed to be Katakros, who would go on to be made leader of the [[Ossiarch Bonereapers]] (though from their track records, Olynder seems like a better general than Katakros).

She also worked with Katakros in the attack on the Eightpoints, leading the initial attack with the Legion of Grief and personally killing the Chaos Lord Namos Saskarid. She proceeded to lead the Legion of Grief across the Eightpoints, slaughtering Chaos followers and leaving their bodies and souls as raw materials for the Ossiarch Bonereapers. However, once Archaon came home, the Death armies were quickly routed, with Olynder herself being slain by Bel’akor and her soul sent screaming back to Nagash.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File: Olynder Art.jpeg
</gallery>

{{Nighthaunt-Characters}}

Archaon

2020-07-06T06:05:55Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:F12F:1B08:E3BB:8393: /* Age of Sigmar */

[[Image:Archaon Book.jpg|570px|thumb|right|A wallpaper version of his solo [[Black Library]] novel cover art.]]
<div style="font-size:1.10em;font-weight:bold;font-style: FFF Tusj ;font-family:serif;margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em"><span style='color:
#A57164;font-size:100%'> I AM THE TRUE CHOSEN OF CHAOS!<br> - Archaon teaching [[Abaddon|a certain armless failure]] on how to actually be kick ass'''</span></div>
{{Topquote|Fear me, mortals, for I am the Anointed, the Favored Son of Chaos, the Scourge of the World. The armies of the gods rally behind me, and it is by my will and by my sword that your weakling nations shall fall.|Archaon the Everchosen, Lord of the End Times}}
{{Topquote|My hatred is a thousand times more powerful than all your good intentions.|Jim Goad}}
{{Topquote|Everyone, deep in their hearts, is waiting for the end of the world to come.|Haruki Murakami}}

'''Archaon the <S>Overchosen</s> Everchosen''', formerly known as '''Diederick Kastnar''', also known concurrently as '''The Three-Eyed King''', '''Lord of the End-Times''', '''[[A Song of Ice and Fire|Kingslayer]]''', and various other titles besides is the supreme Chaos Lord of [[Warhammer Fantasy]] and its successor, [[Age of Sigmar]], as well as in [[Total War: WARHAMMER]]. He is a successor of the Kurgan High Zar Asavar Kul, who previously held the title of Everchosen. Archaon, on the other hand, managed to successfully destroy the world during the [[End Times]] and defeated Grimgor in single combat (while the latter was high off becoming the Incarnate of the Wind of Beasts, no less) and, more importantly, wrestled with Sigmar Heldenhammer himself before falling with him into a Chaos Portal to fight over the titular Warhammer for which the settings of Fantasy and 40K are named, which he just barely lost.

In other words, he shits all over the [[Abaddon|other guy]] in terms of competency and skill. Supposedly, his name is Tilean, meaning 'Warhammer Rome'. Because GW Latin fetish. Depending on how you look at him, he's either a badass legend of Chaos and terrifyingly powerful, or a lameass Gary Stu and the obnoxious conclusion of GW's recent Chaos fapfest.

This is, of course, his newest iteration. Archaon's been around before and was the titular Lord of the End Times during the Storm of Chaos, though both the event and his character were retconned and brought back with heavy modification for 8th Edition. See the End Times article itself for skub surrounding that.

[http://myglobalmind.com/2015/08/25/interview-with-archaon-from-norwegian-death-metal-band-1349/ Also moonlights as a guitarist for Norwegian Black Metal bands].

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1a84RoIMa1Q In the latest of a long line of cool by GW, Archaon's sword, the Slayer of Kings, HAS BEEN MADE IN REAL LIFE]. This is in celebration of the new ''Everchosen'' contest, the flashy new international version of the [[Golden Demon]], and like the Slayer Sword, one fab enough painter gets to win this.

==The Legend==
[[Grimdark|Archaon was born to a Nordland townswoman after her home was paid a visit to by a raiding party of bloodthirsty Norscan Chaos Marauders where the leader of said party, a Marauder Champion, proceeded to rape her viciously before leaving her for dead amidst the burning husk of her village.]] Of course, the village woman [[Indrick Boreale|did not die then, no,]] but was found clinging to life by her husband and children... but she did die nine months later after giving birth to the raider's bastard son. This child was left to wolves of Laurelorn before being found by a Sigmarite priest, was adopted as a page for the local church, and named Diederick.

As it happens, this fisherwoman was named Viktoria Rothschild in ''Archaon - Everchosen''. [[/pol/|Anyone interested enough in making the reach would claim this essentially makes Archaon an evil Jew bent on world domination.]]

Diederick grew up to a vigorous and devout lad, strong in the ways of Sigmar, and became a squire for the lecherous lout of a knight Sieur Kastnar. When the Sieur Kastnar ran afoul of some foes and died, Diederick, being a man of honor, took it upon himself to deliver the knight's ancestral sword to House Kastnar. The lady of the House, having been disregarded and despised by her husband, was touched by the young squire's dedication and integrity, and adopted him to her house, bequeathing the sword of Kastnar to him, along with the dead knight's horse Orberon. With her sponsorship, Diederick then entered into the prestigious Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb, becoming the greatest warrior of the Order on account of his (unbeknownst) Northern bloodlust and a paragon of the Order's knightly ideals. [[Grimdark|Which essentially means he was a Black Templar level fanatic who didn't think twice of killing children if they were born with the taint of Chaos]].

Later on his career, while questing about and slaying whole tribes of Beastmen single-handed, Diederick came across a group of the Sisters of Sigmar who were transporting a heretical tome. This tome would turn out to be Liber Celestior itself, penned by Necrodormo the Insane under the direction of Be'Lakor himself, and said to hold the prophecy of the Everchosen of Chaos, the final champion who would herald the End Times. The tome was to be transported to the Grand Cathedral of Sigmar in Altdorf, where it would be kept protected from a warband of Chaos Warriors intent on using it to find the Everchosen. This warband being the Swords of Chaos.

Of course, young Diederick had not even seen the prophecy for himself. And indeed, for so many years, had been much too fanatical and thick in the head to realise that he fit the perfect profile of a Norscan warrior, not an Imperial knight. This also did not come fully to him when his own Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb began hunting him, despite him having been the greatest exemplar of their Order's religious and military ideals. Diederick, being a <s>complete badass</s> fucking Mary Sue, made quick work of the knights and also managed to evade the Swords of Chaos, seeking refuge at the Kastnar estate only to find it having been burned to the ground. There, he conferred with the Sister of Sigmar and the priest who had fostered him as to the reasons for which the Empire had declared him a heretic and why the Swords of Chaos wanted to suck his cock. They came to the conclusion that he fit the bill as the Everchosen based on the fact that:

* A). He was obviously of Norscan descent (fucking racists...)
* B). He was a knight of the Empire, like the Everchosen was foretold to be.

That's essentially it, really. It's a pretty fucking vague prophecy. But in fantasy worlds, this is often convincing enough, and so Diederick, on the advice of his foster father, journeyed to Altdorf to gain some confirmation of his dark destiny at the Grand Cathedral of Sigmar. Of course, this was after he succeeded in hanging himself because he couldn't live with the truth. Ballsy of him, but the Chaos Gods went 'lolno' and brought him back to life to get on without. They really wanted the End Times to happen, the little shits. So, after he dragged his depressed ass to Altdorf he prayed before an altar to Sigmar to give him some sign or indication that he was not forsaken by the God-King and not damned to a fate he did not choose and did not want, and received stone silence in return. This doesn't explain why ANY other Human, Elf or Dwarf God didn't appear to prevent End Times, or why Sigmar did fuck-all since even a single act would've stopped the entirety of the End Times. [[Mary Sue|Archaon went batshit and managed to take down the entire knightly garrison of the Sigmarite Cathedral]] and even managed to break the Grand Theogonist's limbs. Interrogating the Grand Theogonist by breaking his fingers individually, Diederick demanded to know how exactly the Knights of the Twin-Tailed Orb were so sure that he was the Everchosen; after all, there were countless half-Norscans running about in the Empire, and there were countless knights of the Empire who had fallen to Chaos. The Theogonist revealed that they weren't sure at all; they had been hunting people with his profile throughout the Empire. The clincher was that the true Everchosen was prophesied to travel to Altdorf and ask that exact question.

So yes, if Diederick had ''not'' gone to Altdorf to find this out, he would not have fulfilled the prophecy. [[Just as Planned]]. This also means that if the Theogonist did nothing then the End Times also never would've happened, [[derp|and despite knowing this they chose to act.]]

Having finally been driven to Joker levels of genocidal insanity by this tidbit of information (and bad writing), Archaon's switch flipped from good to evil and he loudly denounced the God-King Sigmar and affirmed his allegiance to the Dark Gods of his father's race, swearing that he would bring the Empire crashing down and tear away the pageantry of Sigmar's religion to reveal the god for the craven liar and charlatan that he was. It was during this shouted oath of death and destruction that the Grand Theogonist gloatingly revealed that the entire Reikland army and pretty much the entirety of the Empire's gunpowder potential was primed on the Cathedral with the order to kill the Everchosen by any means necessary, including by destroying the Cathedral itself. Luckily for Diederick, the Swords of Chaos arrived and rescued him from the clutches of the Empire, fleeing northwards towards Norsca where the Everchosen could begin his journey. This is, of course, if you follow the later books. Originally he read the prophecy, lost his marbles, and ran off screaming in the night before deciding he'd go up north and join his new dark god daddies.

===Quest for the Six Treasures===

A'ight, bitches, y'all know the story that came after this.

Archaon traveled North, crossing into Norsca and the Chaos Wastes and began his centuries-long journey to find the Relics of Chaos - The Burning Mark of Chaos Eternal, which bestowed upon its bearer the ultimate favour all four of the Great Chaos Gods. The Armour of Morkar (shield included), the battle-scarred Chaos Plate born by the Norsii warlord and first and greatest of the Everchosen. The Slayer of Kings, the horrifyingly powerful regicidal greatsword forged by Vangel, the Second Everchosen; bound with the soul of U'zhul, the Fist of [[Khorne]]. The Crown of Domination, the ancient battle-helm borne by the first Northern warrior to bargain his soul to Chaos's Dark Lords. The Eye of Sheerian, which bestows upon its user prophetic powers (had it been the Mouth of Sheerian, it probably would have granted him a decent singing voice). And Dorghar, Steed of the Apocalypse.

Archaon got the first one by traveling to the Altar of Ultimate Darkness in Naggaroth where he single-handedly brought upon the genocide of the race of bloodthirsty, atavistic monster-men who infested the temple and who feasted upon the flesh of stray Dark Elves. In the novel and newer version, he also fought a Dark Elf army led by a dragon-riding Sorceress and was saved by a Valkia cameo after he sacrificed a Dark Elf assassin to the Chaos Gods (strangely Valkia arrived when Archaon offered the assassin's heart even though Khorne's thing is skulls or just severed heads).

He earned the Armour of Morkar by travelling to the Norse King's cairn in the Southern Chaos Wastes and facing off against his vengeful spirit, and was nearly slaughtered by his predecessor then and there but for spitting out a 'yo mama' insult in the dead tongue of the Unberogens which managed to catch Morkar just off-guard due to its WTFness enough for Archaon to sucker-punch him and steal the armour. Actually, it turns out that Archaon said 'brinnan utva lioht', which means 'burn in the light', which if I'm being honest, sounds about as insulting as calling someone a scoundrel. In the novel, it only worked because it was Sigmar's language and the last thing Sigmar said to Morkar before concaving his head.

He claimed the Eye of Sheerian from Flamefang, the Claw of Tzeentch, a three-headed Chaos Dragon (a one-headed chaos dragon spirit that possessed and assimilated bodies to gain physical form in the novel). Archaon found it sleeping in its lair and woke it up by hitting one of its heads with his axe. There was an intense fight, which ended when Flamefang swallowed Archaon whole and flew all the way to the Southern Wastes. The armor prevented Archaon from being digested and he cut his way out of the dragon's throat from the inside, which naturally killed it. Archaon plucked the Eye of Sheerian from the belly of its corpse and hung it around his neck.

The next wasn't an item, but a being, the daemonic creature called Dorghar - also known as Ghurshy'ish'phak, Wsyorach and Yrontalie - the Steed of the Apocalypse. At the time Dorghar was being kept in the menagerie of a Slaaneshi Daemon Prince. He entered the stables by clinging to the underbelly of one of the monsters as it returned to its roost, a part man, part mammoth and part insect abomination. Once there, he tracked Dorghar by Dorghar's smell (originally) or using the Eye of Sheerian (post-retcon and in the novel) until he found the creature. He then jumped on Dorghar's back like a hellish rodeo - one where the mount burst into flame and changed shape while also fighting to dislodge and kill Archaon. Eventually he broke Dorghar's will and killed the daemon prince before riding back out of the Realm of Chaos.

He got the Slayer of Kings from a sleeping Krakanrok the Black, father of the Dragon Ogre race and a being the size of a mountain. The superstrong even for a follower of chaos Khornate Beastlord Ograx was ''just'' able to lift one of Krakanrok's fingers high enough for Archaon to grab the sword. It started screaming so loud that the mountain-sized Krakanrok began to stir and Archaon silenced the blade's screaming by impaling the Beastlord through the heart with it, thereby sating its regicidal thirst.

The search for the Crown took longer than all the others combined. But, as we know, he gained the Crown of Domination by travelling to the First Shrine of Chaos in the Northern World's Edge Mountains after Bea'lakor was made by the Chaos Gods to appear and show him the way (and some directions from Vitlich in the retcon). Archaon entered and overcame tests set by all 4 of the Chaos Gods, including a maze made by Tzeentch, fighting off every disease possible sent from Nurgle through [[awesome|sheer]] [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|willpower]], resisting a personal invitation from Slaanesh himself/herself and Khorne sending Skarbrand to fight him, whom he then strangled to death with his own whip (actually required a fair bit more cunning, planning and daemonic intervention than the armybook versions of the stories would have you believe).

==The Storm of Chaos fiasco ==
Eventually the Chaos Gods gave the order, and he led the most ferocious and largest army of [[Warriors of Chaos|Chaos Warriors]] ever assembled against the [[Empire]] during the [[Storm of Chaos]] campaign for 6th Edition. Before he reached the location where he was to end the world, he faced [[Valten]] (supposedly a reincarnation of Sigmar himself), who fought through the Swords of Chaos and killed Dorghar before pressing on to Archaon himself. Valten rushed in to strike Archaon after having dismounted him, but Archaon lunged out of the smoke left when Dorghar died and stabbed him in the chest; Valten pulled even closer though, and swung down, his hammer shredding through Archaon's armor and knocking him to his knees. But Valten let his guard down to un-impale himself on Archaon's sword, and the Lord of the End Times struck back and broke Valten's chestplate. In a moment of humanization and weakness, two things GW would make sure were removed from Chaos and Archaon later on, Archaon was fearful of a Sigmarite tattoo Valten had, and thought the big man himself had come to end him. Just then the [[Orcs & Goblins|Orc]] warlord [[Grimgor Ironhide|Grimgor]] smashed through the Chaos bodyguard single-handed, headbutted Arch in the junk, laughed at his sorry ass then went back to gather another army of greenskins.

The reason this bullshit happened? GW built the narrative around their battle reports, army by army. The problem is that Chaos kept losing. In fact, the good guys were winning so badly the only reason Archaon was pushing them back was due to plot. But GW had already pre-planned the story to become the grimderpofthe41stmilleniumwherethereisonlywar and make "End Times" be in the past tense. In the end, they resorted to having fans call-in the way they wanted the story to end, hoping that Warhammer Fantasy fans would pick the faction with the pointiest stuff on their armor.

They didn't.

They chose a faction that had been beaten in the last match.

Fans chose Orcs over Chaos.

GW had no backup plan.

Grimgor's entire army had been beaten by Crom while Valten and Archaon fought. Grimgor got sick of rallying his forces, went "ZOG DIS, I WANNA PIECE UV DA ACTION!" and charged in to sucker punch Archaon as he was about to deliver the final blow to Valten, shout for the silent and awed assembled armies of the world to hear that "GRIMGOR IZ DA BEST!", then went back home to rally his army. This resulted in the snide nickname of "Light Drizzle of Chaos." Archaon fled the field, somehow alive, but literally ran for the hills to escape Grimgor, who fucked off to who knows where, and the coming army of Karl-Franz.

With that pesky idea of "player agency" getting in the way of their attempt at a forced Chaos ending, GW went silent and further fluff never came. Later on, they retconned almost the entirety of Storm of Chaos and instead made it an alternate continuity. In the current narrative, <s>he's still amassing his army</s> the world ended, and this time, GW dropped the pretenses and didn't leave the ending up to the fans, and in response to complaints that Archaon was an Archy Sue, they amplified his power level through the roof.

So began the beginning of the end of the beginning of the end.

== Archaon's Posse ==
In first [[Storm of Chaos]] and now in [[The End Times]], Archaon isn't alone at the top of the hordes of chaos. He has some lieutenants to help him keep everyone organised. Closest of all is his Herald, [[Vardek Crom]], although officially Crom gets killed in a failed invasion.

In [[Storm of Chaos]], Games Workshop decided to go with the [[Your dudes]] approach, creating four lieutenants based on simply fluffing out the new Chaos Champion models for each of the four gods (save Khorne, who got a custom model based on an old Archaon head, Orc arms and an old Bloodletter body). Thusly, in [[White Dwarf]], we were introduced to:
* [[Haargroth]] the Blooded One, Champion of [[Khorne]].
* [[Feytor]] the Tainted, Champion of [[Nurgle]].
* [[Styrkaar]], Champion of [[Slaanesh]].
* [[Melekh]] the Changer and the sorcerous mutant-child Cyspeth, Champions of [[Tzeentch]].

The characters weren't received too well. So, perhaps realising their mistake, GW has revealed they're bringing back some of the big Chaos characters from their first ever Chaos Special Characters list:

* Representing [[Khorne]], it's [[Arbaal]] the Undefeated, giant Flesh Hound-riding army-butchering Chaos Lord.
* Representing [[Slaanesh]], it's [[Dechala]] the Denied One, corrupted High Elf turned six-armed poison-oozing snake-woman.
* Representing [[Nurgle]], it's [[Valnir]] the Reaper, undead soul-harvester.
* Representing [[Tzeentch]], it's [[Egrimm van Horstmann]], former Magister of the Light College turned dragon-riding daemon-commanding arch-warlock.

Unlike the others, these guys were at least respected enough to get cameos in [[The End Times]]. Two of them were even killed off, with Valnir being killed by Wulfrik in a novel and Egrimm being killed in End Times: Archaon after trying to bind the wind of Aqshy to himself. Dechala was mentioned to be in the final battle and it's said that Arbaal was kurmped as wel..

[[The End Times]] made a similar plan as well with champions representing each of the Gods, and again, Crom appears and gets his ass handed to him by Valten. This time, however, the posse is made of actually known characters:
*[[Valkia the Bloody]] representing her hubby Khorne during the invasion of Naggaroth. She eventually gets a mutual kill.
*[[Vilitch the Curseling]] being the top champion of Tzeentch while Aekold Hellbrass is busy sacking Kislev. As of ET: Thanquol, he gets sent to drag in [[Karl Franz]] so Archie may kill him once and for all. In End Times: Archaon, he and Thomin switch places, with Thomin calling the shots and Vitlich being the mindless slave.
*[[Sigvald]] the Magnificent being the only person of note dedicated to Slaanesh. He gets his face rekt by the Wight King Krell and then got killed and pissed on by Throgg the troll king.
*The [[Glottkin]] taking the position of top 3 champions of Nurgle after the guy before them gets a Runefang to the face. They get beaten in the same book they appear in by a superpowered Karl Franz and are currently sitting the rest of The End Times out in Nurgle's Mansion.

==Retcon/The End Times==
[[File:archaon.jpeg|500px|thumb|right|The Everchosen doing a badass pose.]]
GW recently realized that pushing ChaosChaosChaos in Warhammer Fantasy only turns off fans who want THEIR faction to be important (as the setting has a fair number of megalomaniacs that would put comicbook villains to shame), and as a result the End Times are finally being ushered in... by [[Nagash]]. The resident Undead [[BBEG]], who aims to take over the world by rendering everyone into undead slaves then consume the Warp. In its entirety. At that time Archaon was seeking the [[Glottkin]], the [[Maggoth Lords|Maggoth Riders]], and [[Gutrot Spume]], and upon finding them gave them three jars of plagues custom-made by Nurgle himself (they also had [[Festus the Leechlord|a man on the inside at Altdorf]] who cooked up his own plague). Archaon's plan was to use the followers of Nurgle like a magical bioweapon; softening up the Empire before he came in to finish it off. Upon hearing that Naggy's stealing his thunder, Archaon prematurely led his forces to battle.

At the border of the Empire and what was once Kislev, he encountered the Auric Bastion, a gigantic wall of metal, magic and holy energy made by [[Balthazar Gelt]] that he and his troops could not cross. Then they came under attack and his army ended up in a stalemate against the forces of [[Vlad von Carstein]], the head of the Dracula Bloodline brought back from death by big bone daddy himself. Vlad's job was to keep Archaon busy while Nagash invaded Nehekhara. Naggy himself was planning to eliminate the [[Tomb Kings]] as they were one of the few forces that can challenge his rule, then subsume them into his armies and go on to kill every living thing in the world and reanimate them.

Gelt fell prey to the separate manipulations of Vlad von Carstein and the Changeling and was outed as an up-and-coming necromancer. After a misunderstanding, Gelt is declared a traitor to the Empire and flees. With Gelt's fall from grace, the Auric Bastion loses the support of the Sigmarite priests, who deem the wall tainted due to its inventor's involvement with necromancy. Soon after the Auric Bastion crumbles, giving Chaos the green light to invade the Empire. Eager to make up for lost time, Archaon leads his forces in and bulrushes his way to Middenheim. Archaon planned to defeat the god Sigmar worshiped as a symbol of his superiority. However, Ulric had enough power to resist him and Chaos had a hard fight until [[Teclis|a meddling elf wizard]], unbeknownst to everyone else, stole Ulric's flame, allowing the power of Chaos to ravage Middenheim. Archaon took on Valten, Sigmar's heir, until a Verminlord decided to be a kill-stealing prick and decapitated Valten, enraging Archaon. Eventually Archaon and his forces conquered Middenheim.

After this Archaon claimed Sigmar's hammer from Valten's body as a trophy and set up camp in Middenheim, putting his throne in the room where the Flame of Ulric once burnt. While there he schemed to have Karl Franz killed, sending [[Kairos Fateweaver]] after him. While waiting, Archaon discovered a secret weapon under Middenheim. Under even where the Flame of Ulric was is a device left by the Old Ones. If properly tended to, it could form a third Warp Rift that would combine with the other two and destroy the world so he sought to activate it, not caring that as far as he knew, it would destroy him too. Due to [[Games Workshop|plot armor]], Kairos failed and Archaon kills the former to summon Ka'Bandha to take out Karl Franz. But he and the other Khornate daemons champed at the bit to start the fight while Archaon camped in Middenheim so he permitted them to hunt Karl Franz and the Incarnates as long as they gave him Karl Franz's flayed skin. During this time he gets several people pledging themselves to his cause who get used as auxiliaries including [[Isabella von Carstein|a possessed vampire]], [[Sigvald|a preening Chaos Lord]], the entire Skaven race and [[Settra the Imperishable|a dethroned undead king]] (though the latter's in it cos "the enemy of my enemy..." and ultimately says "fuck this shit" to Chaos).

Due to the machinations of Nurgle and the Skaven, Nagash is reduced from contender for the main villain and a burgeoning god of undeath to that "lesser villain that needs to team up with the good guys to fight the true villain" guy. The Bone Daddy approaches the Incarnates and offers an alliance which they, ''very'' grudgingly, accept. Eventually the Incarnates come to Middenheim and a gigantic clusterfuck of a battle occurs. The Orcs led by Grimgor throw in their lot with the Incarnates after some skillful manipulation from Malekith and even Sigmar himself makes a comeback. Despite everything arrayed against them, it eventually ends up being ChaosChaosChaos anyways when they fail to stop Archaon's ace-in-the-hole; his custom-made, Old-Ones-inspired WMD... Largely because Mannfred decided to betray Nagash (along with the rest of the good guys) at the last moment. While everyone else either dies or gets warped into some chaos bullshit, Archaon and Sigmar fall into the Warp Rift while wrestling for the hammer.

Whatever anyone says, if there was to be an ending to Warhammer Fantasy Battle, this is it: The Big Good and Big Bad of the setting falling into oblivion wrestling over The Warhammer. Fucking <strike>sweet</strike> <strike>gay</strike> however you feel about it.

==Age of Sigmar==
So by now I imagine you're thinking "well bugger me, how can this guy get any more badass and/or mary sueish?" Well let me answer that for you, with a new model. Move over, [[Nagash]], there's a new giant model in town and he's coming for you.

After completing a brand new series of challenges set by the Chaos Gods, smashing them all with ease and without a shred of loyalty for the Unholy Quintet, and rejecting the newly ascended [[Great Horned Rat]]'s offer of a blessing by spitting in his verminous face, Archaon has been made the Grand High Marshall of Chaos. Which basically means that he can do whatever the fuck he wants without the Chaos Gods doing anything to stop him. He could go around and murder the shit out of each of the gods' best followers and get away with it, because fuck you, he's Archaon.

That said, however, not everyone unanimously accepts his claim, and there were those like the Gaunt Summoners of Tzeentch (A bunch of possibly-daemonic sorcerers with eyes all over their helmets) that put up a resistance against the Marshall, and end up getting a serious ass-whooping for their troubles. Once that was dealt with he went on a rampage through the realms. One of his harder battles was in the realm of Shyish. Archaon took on Nagash as he was the only one strong enough to defeat him. Archaon did at one point, striking him down and destroying his body. From there he proceeded to lock up the souls of the dead in a giant bone cage so Nagash couldn't access them.
However Nagash was the god of death and Archaon had killed him in the Afterlife, so where was we going to go, Detroit? Due to Nagash's powers - and Arkhan and Neferata retrieving his remains afterwards - Nagash returned to try and lay a vengeful beatdown on Archaon's army, only to fail again. He used his powers to break the bone cage and gain access to the souls Archaon had contained. The two dueled, again but Archaon called on the Bloodthirsters for backup, forcing Nagash to retreat. Archaon's only defeat came at the hands of Malerion in the realm of Ulgu, and he is now fascinated by Ulgu.

On top of his legions, he also controls his own order of knights, called the Varanguard. These guys replace Archie's old warband and serve as his presence in every campaign, and in those he does deign worthy of his direct intervention, they serve as his mightiest warriors. These guys are called from every walk of Chaos, and each of them find some omen compelling them to serve the Everchosen to which they follow so devotedly that they abandon their god's calling to serve him under pain of death. Those that pass the trials laid before them on their route to the Varanspire (his new castle in the Realm of Chaos) are then chosen to join one of his eight circles and gain a giant mutant thing that possibly used to be a horse. Also joined by some of Slaanesh's followers and daemons - the Invaders faction - who now worships him as their god.

And that's not even mentioning the new changes to his look.

For a start, Archaon is now rocking some badass new black armour that makes him look much more sinister, powerful, and imposing, though at the cost of the Northern Warlord look he used to have. Slayer of Kings is also different, now a gigantic on-fire sword with a much more ornate design than before, very cool. But the real change isn't even Archaon himself, but the horse Dorgar. Well, ex-horse, because Dhorgar is now a gigantic chimera monster with three heads to represent Nurgle, Khorne, and Tzeentch (Slaanesh has vanished without a trace) and two tails as a homage to the Great Horned Rat. He's now gathering all the forces of Chaos together to launch a massive campaign against Sigmar and finish what he started in the Old World, and stands as the greatest threat that Order may ever have to face. Just like old times, huh? To GW's credit, Sigmar's also gotten a lot stronger, so it's beginning to feel less like some author's pet stomping over non-opposition, but who will ultimately win?

Archaon also nearly scored a major win for Chaos during the Soul Wars. After searching, Archaon had found Slaanesh. He took his Varanguard, leaving the Chaos Lord Namos Saskarid in charge while he went to free the Chaos God. Unfortunately for him and fortunately for everyone not Chaos-aligned, Nagash made his big move. The undead attacked through the Shyishian realmgate and captured it, with Lady Olynder personally killing Saskarid. Then Katakros and armies from four Ossiarch Legions moved in and fortified the gate, leaving part of the Allpoints under control of Nagash, and Bonereaper and Nighthaunt armies ravaged the Eightpoints, even laying siege to the Varanspire itself. Upon learning of this, Archaon abandoned his mission to free Slaanesh and rushed back to the Eightpoints. His forces combined with the defenders, decimated the undead armies, Archaon leading the charge and destroying many undead including slaying Katakros' lieutenant Zandtos. The Everchosen and Mortarch met for the first time, and after a long duel Archaon cut down Katakros (though unbeknownst to Archaon, Katakros had planned for that and has lots of back-up bodies). Having repelled the undead but having lost part of the Eightpoints to Nagash, Archaon decided that next time he crossed paths with Nagash, he'd finish him for off once and for all.

== On the tabletop ==

===Warhammer Fantasy===
In an interesting irony, though probably not intentional, Archaon is also in a lot ways the opposite of Abaddon, not in a bad way. Where as Abaddon tends to get changed fairly heavily each edition, Archaon stays mostly the same with each book, with the only changes to him being armor save's not including bonus for him being mounted, what his steed can do, or whether or not you can field him on foot. Also, where as Abaddon is characterized by his hitting power while being respectably tough to kill, Archaon hits hard (base attack ignores armor and can double attacks for the rest of the game, though if does any 1s on to hit rolls have to be directed at him or his unit) although his most impressive trait is how freaking hard he is to kill. While his statline is only slightly better than a normal Chaos Lord, he has a 1+ armor save, a 3+ ward save, all to hit rolls against him have a -1 and he can't be wounded on better than 3+. Sadly, while an indestructible death machine, his cost keeps him from getting much use. Afterall, [[Dwarfs|cannons]] are the solution to all problems in Warhammer Fantasy.

===Age of Sigmar===
Age of Sigmar continues this trend of indestructibility in style. Now rocking a 3+ Save that he can easily buff to a 2+, a 5+ Save against Mortal Wounds, and now ''20 FUCKING WOUNDS! HOLY SHIT, THIS IS MEANT TO BE THE GAME WHERE 1 WOUND IS THE AVERAGE, RIGHT?'' Yeah, new monster-riding Archaon is even more of a tank than he used to be, and that's saying a lot. And in addition to this, his new three-headed Dorghar can use one of three special abilities every turn he kills somebody in melee. This can range from vomiting up the remains of his victims all over the unit he's fighting, Nurgle style, to ''eating their skulls and heal D3 wounds!'' Fucking hell, and I thought he was a tank before he could regenerate. In addition to his insane defensive ability, he can also bring the pain too. He has access to Arcane Bolt (as well as the ability to gain the spells of any other wizard if he feeds the unfortunate wizard to the Tzeentch head), though Mystic Shield is always a better choice to up his defense, Dorghar can hit like a truck like any monster, and the Slayer of Kings returns as potentially one of the strongest weapons in the game with an easy To Hit and To Wound, and very heavy Rend and Damage. In addition, if you roll two 6's To Wound on the same Hero with the Slayer of Kings, then it instantly kills them with no saves of any kind allowed. Though with only four attacks, this won't happen too often. Still, with those stats he's easily going to live long enough to pull it off sooner or later.

==Total War: WARHAMMER==
Archaon appears as the faction leader for the Warriors of Chaos, the first DLC faction of Total War: WARHAMMER and though the campaign mechanics of said faction have been left in the dirt by newer and shinier factions to come out, Archaon still manages to be an absolute menace on the battlefield in a chaos campaign. At level 40 and with all of his quest items (of which he has 4, as many as you can have) he carries on the tabletop tradition of being an absolute tank, rocking an impressive 40% ward save combined with a 20% physical resist (which can be comboed with the Swords of Chaos' guardian ability, bringing the physical resist upto 35%), and a 15% magical resist resulting in a combined damage reduction of up to 75% for physical damage and 55% for magical damage. Couple this with the fact that you can easily get him to over 130 armor and over 100 of both melee defense AND attack, and he will stay in the fight for longer than most. Oh and he also gets access to the lore of fire and the Slayer of Kings, ensuring that he can dish out punishment as readily as he can take it.

However, as mentioned this is all in the chaos campaign. On multiplayer... well, he's a bit of a meme. Players have even given him the moniker of "Archaon the Neverchosen" due to the fact that more often than not people will elect to either bring Kholek or a generic Chaos Lord in favor of Archaon. There are a couple of reasons for this

* His tankiness in campaign is simply not as much a factor in multiplayer, though he does have 120 armor, 5000 hp, 60 melee defense, and 10% physical resist, he is still far more vurlerable to being gooned by other lords than Kholek or Sarthorael would be, largely owing to him not having nearly as high a mass as either of those two leading to him being unable to push his way out of dangerous situations. It also means that he is staggered more in combat, leading to him getting fewer hits in and is therefore less effective.
* And much like his tankiness is a non factor, his killiness is as well. He's got a single strong damage augmenting item, that being the Slayer of Kings, which albeit very killy, has a very long cooldown and more importantly only recharges if he's in melee, leading to you potentially only being able to use it once in a match if the opponent is avoiding him well.
* Speaking of avoiding him, he can be quite easy to kite despite being a mounted lord with a relatively high speed, and you might wonder why this is? Well, remember that mass problem he's got? If he does manage to get on top of someone's lord and pops his Slayer of Kings, all that lord has to do is find a handy unit of zombies, gobbos or whatever else expendable unit they have lying around and throw them at him while their lord runs away, leaving him to go fisticuffs with a unit that he will beat eventually, but a unit that he doesn't actually want to be fighting since it's a waste for him to do so.
* Speaking of wastes, let's talk about his cost. Stripping all his magic and items (though not Dorghar, what would he be without him) Archaon comes in at a premium at 2085 gold, just slightly more expensive than a Dragon Ogre shaggoth. Kholek meanwhile (being his primary contender) comes in at 2200, which albeit more expensive, gives you a lot more due to the fact that Kholek doesn't suffer from having low mass, nor does his combat buff, Starcrusher, recharge only in combat. It's admittedly a weaker buff in terms of raw damage potential, but it lasts longer and is available more reliably, therefore giving it the edge. And of course, if you don't want either Kholek nor Archaeon, you can always go for the dead cheap Chaos Lord or even Sigvald, who allow you to go for a wider build.

Maybe with game 3 being focused more on Chaos we'll see an update to the Warriors of Chaos and Archaon, that hopefully might make him a more lucrative pick, but at the moment he's just a bit lackluster compared to his competitors.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image: Original Archaon.jpg|Archaon, back in the early days of Warhammer Fantasy. He had a horsie.
Image: Archaon Old.jpg|Archaon's limited edition model, on-foot.
Image: Archaon New.jpg|Archaon's new model. He gets a daemon horsie now.
Image:ArchaonAOS.jpg|Archaon's newER model, now with a gigantic daemon chimera, the Evolved form of daemon horsie.
Image:Godbeasts.jpg|An evil, powerful warrior traveling from world to world, seeking further power from a godlike serpentine dragon... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4vjJrGeh1c that sounds familiar].
Image: The three eyed king.jpg
Image: Archaon end times.png
Image: Lord of the End Times.jpg
Image: Archaon 3.png|Archaon in [[Total War: WARHAMMER]]
</gallery>

==Memes==
Of course what would a Warhammer character be without the memes?

Archaon is notable for a fair few, given the tendency of writers to keep at least his foot in the spotlight.
* ANIME: Thanks to his art and general JRPG villain actions in Age of Sigmar, Archaon has become the embodiement of ANIME (always caps).
* Horns: Archaon's helmet horns have grown in each incarnation, leading to humor a la Abby's armlessness about horn growth, and the increasing difficulty lifting or turning his head.
* Penguins: Archaon has described the Beastmen inhabiting the south pole as "true Beastmen", free from human taint. Since there is no combination of Daemon, man, mutant, or beast not present in the Old World some have come to the conclusion that Archaon is scared of penguins.
* Archaos: The creator of the Archaon character identified his original intended name as the even more ludicrous "Archaos", destined to fall on his sword in the final battle after realizing what he had done to the laughter of the Chaos Gods. Since then Archaos the teenage suicide victim bullied by the Four has become a preferred way to mock the character.
* [[Slambo]]: A generic miniature from Oldhammer that some see as the REAL Everchosen.
* Everchozen: He'll have this world.... kid. A purposefully bad Paint drawing of Archaon in the style of Coldsteel the Hedgehog, complete with massive horns and a bio reminiscent of a twelve year old's Naruto OC. Commonly used by critics of the End Times and/or GW's sudden masturbation of Chaos in general (and ''boy'' are there plenty of critics), and/or as "Neverchozen", referencing pre-retcon Archaon and his failure.
* On a minor note, two memes about [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2019/11/15/meme-hammer-youre-welcome/ Archaon failing to destroy the world of Warhammer from Geedubs themselves] after the news about [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]] returned.

{{Chaos-Champions}}
{{Template:ChaosGods}}

[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]

Valten

2020-07-06T05:21:31Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:F12F:1B08:E3BB:8393: /* The Legend */

[[File:Valten.png|thumb|400px|Technoviking reborn.]]
'''Valten''' was a special character released for [[The Empire]] as part of the [[Storm of Chaos]] narrative campaign (as much of a disaster as that eventually turned out to be), built up as the Empire's counter to [[Archaon]]. He first appeared in [[White Dwarf]] #281, got updated for the Storm of Chaos Army Book, and then vanished from continuity. With [[The End Times]] being released for 8th edition, he has returned to canon, gaining updated fluff & crunch in ''Nagash: Book 2''.

==The Legend==
In short? A baby boy with a birthmark like a two-tailed comet on his chest gets born to a blacksmith and his wife in a Reikland village called Lachenbad. Superstitious peasants mutter about omens, but his daddy declares he'll thump anyone who tries to lay a hand on him, so he grows up - bigger and stronger than any of his fellows, but a likeable enough lad. Then, when he's eighteen, [[Beastmen]] attack his village, but he grabs two hammers from his dad's forge and leads the counterattack, killing the beastlord singlehandedly despite what should have been a fatal wound.

People start telling stories about him, [[Luthor Huss]] shows up, and proclaims he's the heir of [[Sigmar]], rallying faithful Sigmarites across the Empire culminating in a showdown with [[Karl Franz]] where Huss demands Karl Franz step down and make Valten Emperor. Caught between his own faith in Sigmar and Elector Counts willing to make trouble no matter what he decides, the Emperor cleverly sidesteps the issue by decreeing Valten is Sigmar's heir, giving him [[Ghal-Maraz]], and making him leader of the Sigmarite church, but retaining his own secular power, the wisest possible choice.

In the now-aborted outcome, he gets critically wounded facing off against [[Archaon]], and is then murdered in his sickbed by [[Deathmaster Snikch]] at the behest of the [[Skaven]].

In [[The End Times]], naturally, Valten is all gearing up to be the potential savior of the Empire once again, making his first appearance defending the town of Alderfen from a rip in [[Balthazar Gelt]]'s Auric Bastion. He achieves much in the few years he is alive, including wracking up the most impressive kill count of other champions, most notably being Wulfrik the Wanderer and [[Vardek Crom]]. He ends up getting murdered by a [[Verminlord]] Deceiver as he duels [[Archaon]] in [[The End Times]]: [[Thanquol]], making the Skaven into a team of killstealing pricks.

This version of Valten is clearly superhuman, who even as a young lad beats chaos warriors and plaguebearers to death ''with his bare fists'' after a Great Unclean One breaks his blacksmith hammers. Huss was watching this and then declared Valten Sigmar's Herald. This leads to a big ceremony in Heffengen where Franz declared the man the Herald of Sigmar and gifts him Ghal-Maraz (though the whole Exalted crap doesn't happen this time around). In the Lord of the End Times novel, it is revealed that Valten held a portion of Sigmar's power in him, which transferred into Ghal-Maraz after his death (The other portion was transferred into resurrecting Karl Franz into the Incarnate of Heavens/The Emperor Ascendant). Once Sigmar reunited his power of the heavens with the power he had in Valten, he was complete once again, which in summary means that Valten was the reincarnation of Sigmar all along but was never fully able to regain his full potential due to bad shits happening in the End Times. (I mean for fucksake he even has the same Twin-Tail scar a Bloodthirster gave Sigmar back during the Time of Legends series during the battle for that same goddamn '''CITY''' slapped across his chest.)

==The Tabletop==
===Storm of Chaos===
[[File:Valten Man.png|thumb|left|300px]]
Valten has three profiles in this edition; Chosen of Sigmar (before he gets recognized by Karl Franz), Champion of Sigmar (after given Ghal Maraz) and Exalted of Sigmar (after being given extra gifts by the Elves and Dwarfs).

Valten the Chosen of Sigmar costs 215 points and uses up two Hero slots. For this, you get a character with a M 4, WS 5, BS 5, S 4, T 4, W 2, I 5, A 4 + 1, LD 9 statblock and armed with two hand weapons (hence the "4+1" for Attacks). He comes with three Special Rules:
* Against the Odds: Valten + Unit are both Stubborn AND Immune to Psychology. Enemies do not gain combat resolution bonuses for flanking, rear attacking or outnumbering Valten or a unit containing him.
* Awesome Presence: Valten cannot be the General unless every other Hero or Lord in the army has lower Leadership than he does, and he doesn't grant his LD bonus to other units even if he is the General, but wounds he inflicts in close combat count towards Combat Resolution for all Empire units within 12" and not just his own.
* Iron Resolve: 5+ Ward Save, and if killed, take a Leadership test - passing means he is restored back to 1 Wound and his death is ignored for anything like combat resolution, panic, victory points, it. This ability can't save Valten if he's run down by pursuers (somehow: it's hard to make him Flee since he's, y'know, Stubborn AND Immune to Psychology AND Leadership 9) or taken down by a Killing Blow.

Valten the Champion of Sigmar, is the middle of the road choice, at 415 points he comes in costly, but only uses up one Lord slot (unlike his later version). For this, you get a character with a M 4, WS 6, BS 5, S 4, T 4, W 3, I 5, A 4, LD 9 statblock, riding a barded warhorse (Cavalry, M 8, WS 3, BS 0, S 3, T 3, W 1, I 3, A 1, LD 5), sporting Ghal Maraz and wearing Full Plate Armour. He has all the same rules as his previous form (except, thankfully, wound bonus from Awesome Presence is calculated ''before'' Ghal Maraz multiplies the wounds he inflicts). Naturally, if you have Valten the Champion of Sigmar in your army ''and'' Karl Franz, the Emperor can only wield his Runefang.

Valten the Exalted of Sigmar, on the other hand, is insane. He uses ''two Lord slots'' and costs 560 points. For this, you get a character with a M 4, WS 7, BS 5, S 4, T 4, W 3, I 5, A 4, LD 9 statblock, riding Althandin the Elven Steed (monster, M 9, WS 4, BS 0, S 4, T 3, W 3, I 5, A 2, LD 7, 5+ save), he's also sporting Ghal Maraz and wearing the Armor of the Heldenhammer. He has all the same rules as his previous form (except, thankfully, wound bonus from Awesome Presence is calculated ''before'' Ghal Maraz multiplies the wounds he inflicts), and his new armor gives him a 2+ Armor Save and Magic Resistance 2, as well as preventing any model in base contact (including friendlies, so keep your own spellcasters away!) from casting spells or using Bound Items. Naturally, if you have Valten the Exalted of Sigmar in your army ''and'' Karl Franz, the Emperor can only wield his Runefang.

===The End Times===
The revised version of Valten is saner. Arguably. For 330 points, you get a Lord character with a M 4, WS 7, BS 6, S 4, T 4, W 3, I 6, A 4, LD 9 statblock that is armed with two weapons. Alternatively, for +145 points, he can be given full plate armor, a barded warhorse and Ghal Maraz, to represent him as the <s>Exalted</s> Champion of Sigmar. He has the following Special Rules:
* Immune to Psychology
* Awesome Presence: Valten, and any unit within 6", are Stubborn.
* Chosen of Sigmar: +4 Ward Save, and once per game can declare that he is "harnessing the power of Sigmar" (roll a D3 and add the result to Weapon Skill, Strength, Toughness and Attacks) at the start of any Close Combat phase, with the bonus lasting until the end of that turn.
* Iron Resolve: The first time Valten suffers a wound that removes him as a casualty (including unsaved Wounds that killed due to the Killing Blow, Heroic Killing Blow or Multiple Wounds rules), roll 2D6; if the result is a 9 or lower, then Valten negates the wound.
<gallery>
Image:Valten Models.jpg|The three models which have represented Valten over the years.
Image:Valten Shady.png|The young Valten.
Image:Valten Adrian Smith.jpg|Valten after taking a few levels.
Image:Valten Adult.jpg|Valten as an adult.
Image:Valten Plague.png|Valten as a MAN you wish you could be.
</gallery>
[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]] [[Category:The Empire]]

Khazrak The One-Eye

2020-07-06T05:03:07Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:F12F:1B08:E3BB:8393:

[[File:Khazrak-One-Eye.png|200px|thumb|right|]]
{{Topquote|Powerful was its stature, tall and curving were its horns, and filled with hatred and cunning were its eyes, glowing in the night. It lashed about with a barbed whip, the touch of which cut and tore. With a roar, it pointed, and a pack of nightmare dog-beasts turned their feral attention towards me. Alas, I wished to stand and fight, yet my cowardly steed ran, and I was carried away, borne unwillingly upon its back. Could this fell Beast have been the one behind the constant raids? I know not.|Markus Renkler, Empire pistolier}}
{{Topquote|I’m a MASSIVE IDIOT! Everyone hates me and my army sucks! Blah blah blah, I like to fuck animals!|[[Boris Todbringer|Boris "Toddy" Todbringer]], cleverly disguised as Khazrak One-Eye}}

A [[chaos]] [[Beastmen|beastman]] warlord, Khazrak the One-Eye started out as a Gor in the warherd of the Beastlord Graktar. Kharzak used his cunning to rise in the warherd, and soon decided he wanted to be Beastlord. Unlike most others, Kharzak hung back and watched as Graktar defeated other challengers, observing how he fought. After a successful raid; while his warherd's celebration was at its height, Khazrak challenged Graktar for leadership of the herd, figuring he'd be tired from the battle and victory party. The battle was intense and could have gone either way but Khazrak won, goring Graktar upon his horns, tearing off one of Graktar's own horns and exiling him with his tail between his legs, resulting in Kharzak getting the mantle and control of the warherd. Kharzak even kept Graktar's broken-off horn as a trophy and had it turned into a musical horn for signaling his ambushes.

He is the sworn nemesis of [[Boris_Todbringer|FUCKING TODDY]], Grand Duke of Middenland. It all started when Khazrak was dicking around raiding villages like beastmen are meant to do, when Todbringer decided he had enough of Khazrak's bullshit and started campaigning against him. Once Boris managed to trap the Beastman near the village of Elsterweld against impossible odds. Khazrak lost an eye to the Count's Runefang in the ensuing battle, escaping when his favorite Chaos hound, Redmaw, attacked Toddy's horse, distracting him. Khazrak still escaped the slaughter with a handful of his herds still intact.

Khazrak's eye never truly healed, since it was a Runefang-inflicted wound, and continually wept blood and pus. Such a handicap would usually prove fatal in the brutal culture of the Beastmen (especially in conjuction with his defeat in that battle) but Khazrak's wound has actually made him all the more fearsome. For many months afterwards he plotted and schemed in his hidden lair, and only when the perfect opportunity presented itself did he put his plan into action.

With a series of daring ambushes, he lured the Count and his army into a cunning trap. Khazrak confronted the Elector Count and threw him from his horse, pinning him to the ground. With slow deliberation, Khazrak gouged out one of the Count's eyes with the tip of a horn. In an act uncharacteristic of Beastmen, Khazrak allowed his foe to live. After a couple of battles where Toddy and Khazrak alternated victories, Kharzak started taking a liking to old Toddy and the two have developed a relationship not unlike the one between [[Commissar Yarrick|Yarrick]] and [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka|Ghazghkull]].

Anyway, he is not [[Warriors of Chaos|a badass Chaos Viking]], nor a [[Daemon]]; so as far as Chaos goes, he is rather insignificant. This is something of a shame since anyone who can successfully apply even the rudimentary tactics he uses to a bunch of drunken idiots is kind of a genius, not to mention a miracle-worker. Hell, look what he has to work with. "Stay still and shut up", "kill this one first" or "only kill this one" is fucking [[Creed]] to these guys.

He was killed by Toddy in the end time, before his Beastmen avenged him by tearing Toddy to pieces. This may seem like an [[fail|epic fail]], but what Kazarak had done was to [[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX|bait]] Toddy out and have him abandon Middenheim to its defense while Archaon and the rest of the lads besieged the city.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Khazrak.PNG|Khazrak in [[Total War: WARHAMMER]]
File:The One Eye.jpg
File:Khazrak model.jpg|Khazrak's miniature
File:Khazrak's revenge.jpg|Khazrak takes Todbringer's eye
</gallery>

[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Chaos]][[Category:Beastmen]]

Minotaur

2020-07-06T04:35:57Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:F12F:1B08:E3BB:8393: /* In Warhammer */

{{Promotions}}
[[File:Minotaur 5e.jpg‎|300px|thumb|right|D&D's latest depiction of the minotaur.]]
:''No relation to the [[Space Marine]] [[Chapter]] called the [[Minotaurs]], who have several references to the mythological creature.''

A '''minotaur''' is a half-[[human|man]], half-bull, taking the form of a humanoid figure - originally purely human, but adding any combination of fur, a tail and digitigrade hooved legs became popular somewhere around the 80s - with a bull's head. Though at least one artist drew the minotaur as a messed up centaur, with a human head on a hulking bull.

This creature originates in Greek [[mythology]], much like its fellow [[Medusa]]. Also like Medusa, "the Minotaur" was the name/title of a unique individual abomination rather than a species. ''Still'' also like Medusa, its origin story is pretty weird and fucked up, even by the standards of Greek mythology. The original minotaur, whose title means "the bull of Minos" and whose true name was actually Asterion or Asterius, was born to one Queen Pasiphae. Minos was supposed to sacrifice a white bull to the god Poseidon, but he refused because he took a liking to the majestic creature. As punishment, Poseidon had his wife Pasiphae take a bigger liking, and by "bigger liking" we mean to the point of having a giant hollow bull statue constructed so [[/d/|she could consummate her liking for the bull in private]]. After the minotaur was born, Minos was understandably livid that his wife cheated on him with an animal, but killing the bastard wasn't on the list (probably for good reason), so the hybrid was kept in a labyrinth so that ordinary people wouldn't have to look at it.

This might seem like a pretty raw deal for the minotaur, but on the other hand the Cretans forced the Athenians to send virgins for the monster's meals, because apparently omnivore + herbivore = obligate carnivore: once every seven years (or just every year, depending on the source) seven of the bravest youths and seven of the fairest maidens would be the minotaur's munchies. This would mean that either the Minotaur would be able to survive off of one teenager for six months and the rest would keep wandering around for up to six and a half years (aside from the question of how ''they'' didn't starve to death), or else be he ate them all in one sitting and digest them over the course of several years like the [[Star Wars|Sarlacc Pit Monster]]. When it was time for the third serving of Soylent Happy Meals, a bloke named Theseus came along and objected to this man-eating. He took the place of one of the youths (meaning that he must've been one hell of a bishie), sailed to Crete (where he fell in love with a local princess, but that's a tale for another time) and set up a rope that he could follow back. He found the center of the maze by constantly going straight ahead and never going left or right, and encountered the sleeping minotaur. Depending on the source he either stabbed it in the throat or [[Awesome|strangled it with his bare hands]], after which he walked out unmolested by the Creteans, who didn't stop him because they were too busy scratching their heads wondering why they didn't try that before.

As a result of this story, minotaurs are associated with labyrinths and mazes of all kinds. In [[AD&D]] minotaurs are immune to the Maze spell, which is odd given that the labyrinth was intended to keep the original thing in to begin with. In [[Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition]] they enjoy puzzles and feel at home in twisting, turning passages. Whenever minotaurs build towns or cities, the roads are always arranged in the most confusing way possible. To the locals, this makes perfect sense. To adventurers, it's a fucking pain. To [[GM]]s, it's an easy way to take up an hour or two of the party's time after they breeze through your perfectly designed challenge in 5 minutes and you have nothing left this session.

An interesting way to play with this trope might be to have a Minotaur philosopher character, who [[Tzeentch|makes heavy use of labyrinthian logic full of twists and turns and who jumps through many a hoop to reach his conclusion. One could also have a minotaur character be the center of such a labyrinthian ''plot'' ]].

==Dungeons & Dragons==
Minotaurs in [[Dungeons & Dragons]] traditionally worship [[Baphomet]], Demon Prince of Beasts, which makes them bitter enemies of the [[Gnoll]] race, due to the rivalry between Baphomet and [[Yeenoghu]].

4e was also the first edition to make minotaurs a mainstream playable race, rather than monsters - they had first been given a playable write up in [[Dragonlance]]. In [[Nentir_Vale|Points of Light]], Minotaurs were originally ruled over by Baphomet, the Horned King. After the Dawn War ended, he was cast into the Abyss and [[Erathis]], the goddess of civilisation, called dibs on the minotaurs. This went well for a short while, until [[Cultist-Chan|cultists]] of Baphomet corrupted the city, and [[Melora]] had to kill them with fire. Individual minotaurs struggle with the insane beasts that rages in the maze within their heads. If they succumb to this madness, they often fall into thralldom to Baphomet. If they were to overcome this insanity or keep it at bay their entire lives, minotaurs can be civilised creatures, though often preferring to live on the edge of society.

In [[Dragonlance]], it's noted that minotaurs actually have two-toed but otherwise human-like feet, with hooves being restricted to corrupted throwback-mutants. They're also famous for being even more Greco-Roman inspired than minotaurs usually are, having a highly disciplined, warlike culture based on a strong army and martial honor, gladiatorial games being super-important (it's even how they select their emperors!), and being expert sailors. So much so that 5e made minotaurs playable by using the Krynn variant as inspiration and releasing it in the Waterborne Adventures web-enhancement [http://media.wizards.com/2015/downloads/dnd/UA_Waterborne_v3.pdf here].

===D&D Racial Stats===
Playable minotaurs have never received a lot of attention, but they have appeared here and there throughout the editions.

{{dnd-stub}}

====AD&D====
Playable minotaurs appeared twice in [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]]. The first time, for AD&D 1e, was in [[Dragon Magazine]] #116. They were then present in the 2nd edition sourcebook [[The Complete Book of]] Humanoids. The Savage Coast of [[Mystara]] sourcebooks for 2e also provided stats for the [[Enduk]], a race of winged minotaurs native to that gonzo-fantasy world.

{{D&D2e-Races}}

====Dragonlance====
Minotaurs have ''long'' had a prominent place in [[Dragonlance]]. In fact, if you don't count [[Tinker Gnome]]s and [[Kender]] (which most people prefer not to, seeing as how they're more annoying setting-specific versions of [[gnome]]s and [[halfling]]s), minotaurs were one of the two ''new'' PC races introduced in "Dragonlance Adventures", the first ever sourcebook for the setting in [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]] 1st edition. This is a position they share with the [[Irda]].

Minotaurs in this setting are basically Spartans, combining a brutal warrior culture with codes of honor and scholarship. Their society is built on Three Virtues, Strength, Cunning, and Learning, and they're famed navigators and pirates. They tend towards Lawful Evil rather than chaos.

In the 3.5 Sourcebook "Races of Ansalon", Minotaurs got a chapter all to themselves. Their stats are as follows:

:: +4 Strength, –2 Dexterity, –2 Intelligence, –2 Charisma. Minotaurs are large and powerful, but not very agile. From youth, minotaurs focus on developing their muscle over their minds. Minotaur arrogance can be offensive to other races.
:: Medium: As Medium creatures, minotaurs have no special bonuses or penalties.
:: A minotaur’s base land speed is 30 feet.
:: +2 natural armor bonus.
:: Gore: A minotaur may use his horns as natural weapons to make a gore attack, dealing 1d6 points of damage plus the minotaur’s Strength modifier. If the minotaur charges, his gore attack deals 2d6 points of damage, plus 1 ½ times his Strength modifier. A minotaur can attack with a weapon at his normal attack bonus and make a gore attack as a secondary attack (–5 penalty on the attack roll and half Strength bonus on the damage roll).
:: +2 racial bonus on Intimidate, Swim, and Use Rope checks. Minotaurs are familiar with the sea and naturally adept at skills useful among seafarers.
:: Minotaurs may take the scent special quality as a feat. (See the Monster Manual.)
:: Automatic Languages: Common, Kothian. Bonus Languages: Kalinese, Nordmaarian, Ogre, Saifhum.
:: [[Favored Class]]: [[Fighter]].

====3e====
3rd Edition featured two extremely different versions of playable minotaurs. The first version, appearing in the [[Monster Manual]], was quite a beast, with 6 hit dice and a +2 level adjustment, meaning that minotaur player characters had to start at ECL 9. The full statblock, as printed in the 3.5e Monster Manual, is as follows:

:: +8 Strength, +4 Constitution, –4 Intelligence, –2 Charisma.
:: Large size.
:: Space/Reach: 10 feet/10 feet.
:: A minotaur’s base land speed is 30 feet.
:: Darkvision out to 60 feet.
:: Racial Hit Dice: A minotaur begins with six levels of monstrous humanoid, which provide 6d8 Hit Dice, a base attack bonus of +6, and base saving throw bonuses of Fort +2, Ref +5, and Will +5.
:: Racial Skills: A minotaur’s monstrous humanoid levels give it skill points equal to 9 × (2 + Int modifier, minimum 1). Its class skills are Intimidate, Jump, Listen, Search, and Spot. Minotaurs have a +4 racial bonus on Search, Spot, and Listen checks.
:: Weapon Proficiency: A minotaur is proficient with the greataxe and all simple weapons.
:: +5 natural armor bonus.
:: Natural Weapons: Gore (1d8).
:: Special Attacks: Powerful charge.
:: Special Qualities): Natural cunning, scent.
:: Automatic Languages: Common, Giant. Bonus Languages: Orc, Goblin, Terran.
:: Favored Class: Barbarian.
:: Level adjustment +2.

A few months after the launch of 3.5e, the Dragonlance Campaign Setting was updated for Third Edition rules, and it featured a severely nerfed form of Minotaur that players could play at level one. Its full stat block is as follows:

:: +4 strength, -2 dexterity, -2 intelligence, -2 charisma
:: Medium size
:: Base land speed 30 feet
:: Natural armor +2
:: a gore attack for 1d6 + str modifier
:: a charge + gore attack for damage equal to 2d6 plus 1.5x str
:: +2 to intimidate, Swim, and Use Rope checks
:: can take Scent as a feat
:: Automatic languages: Common and Kothian. Bonus languages: Kalinese, Nordmaarian, Ogre, and Saifhum
:: Favored class: Fighter

====Pathfinder====
Like most OGL monsters from 3E, Minotaur's only changes in [[Pathfinder]] are system wide (which means no LA so they can't be playable). In [[Golarion]] minotaurs are, in addition to a true breeding race, a result of a curse on human parents by [[Lamashtu]]. This means any organization in or near human lands could have a Minotaur around as some muscle.

Dreamscarred Press, in love with [[Psionics|old]] [[Incarnum|often weird]] [[Book of Nine Swords|subsystems]] (they even toyed around with making [[Truenamer]] not shit!), created their own version of the Monster Classes introduced in Savage Species (and used by the World of Warcraft RPG mentioned above). Naturally one of the monster classes they made was the Minotaur. Minotaur is one of the simplest monster classes, having all the abilities of the "real" minotaur at the same strength across the same number of hit die and just being a grandular progression from level 1. They are great melee brutes, but with one obvious flaw: They aren't proficient with armor. They either need to dip into some class or stick to 0 ACP armor like (masterwork studded) leather. They do however get the ability to pick an awesome minotaur only feat at 15th level called Labyrinth Lord: It's simultaneously a maze SLA, a way to force enemies into one on one combat, an infinite size portable hole and a Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion.

====World of Warcraft: The Roleplaying Game====
Tauren, the aforementioned Good Guy Minotaurs, appeared in the original [[Warcraft]] D20 RPG, but were re-written with a much better format (including dumping the racial level adjustment) in the [[World of Warcraft]] re-release. They were there from the corebook, and they had these stats:
:: +2 Strength, -2 Agility (Dexterity)
:: Medium
:: Base land speed 30 feet
:: Natural Weapon (Ex): Taurens have a set of horns that function as a natural weapon that deals 1D8+ Str bonus damage. Tauren are automatically proficient in the use of their horns.
:: Weapon Familiarity: Tauren Halberds and Tauren Totems are Martial weapons rather than Exotic for Tauren.
:: Weapon Proficiency: Longspear and Shortspear
:: +2 Racial bonus on Handle Animal and Survival checks. Handle Animal and Survival are always class skills for Tauren.
:: Racial Class: Tauren
:: Favored Class: Warrior

Tauren Racial Class
:: Hit Die: D10
:: Skill Points (1st level): (2 + Int modifier) x 4
:: Skill Points (else): 2 + Int modifier
:: "Class" Skills: Climb, Concentration, Handle Animal, Listen, Sense Motive, Spellcraft, Spot, Survival.
:: Weapon & Armor Proficiency: Simple Weapons, exluding Crossbows, and Light Armor
:: Level 1: BAB +0, Fort Save +2, Ref Save +0, Will Save +2,+1 Strength, Tauren Charge (when charging, a tauren may use their horns instead of a melee weapon; this lets the tauren inflict a Gore attack that does horn damage + 1 1/2 times the tauren's Strength modifier in addition to the normal benefits)
:: Level 2: BAB +1, Fort Save +2, Ref Save +0, Will Save +2, +2 Spirit (Wisdom), +4 racial bonus on saves vs. fear, Tauren Weapon Proficiency (gain proficiency in either Tauren Halberd or Tauren Totem)
:: Level 3: BAB +2, Fort Save +3, Ref Save +1, Will Save +3,+1 Strength, Improved Tauren Charge (tauren is considered Large size for charging and bull rushing, +4 racial bonus on Strength checks for bull rush effects), Tauren Weapon Proficiency (gain proficiency in either Tauren Halberd or Tauren Totem)

====D&D 4e====
The sad proof that, for all 4e's efforts at trying to undo the pigeonholing effect of race from editions past, it hadn't quite gotten past it yet. Not a mechanically ''bad'' race, few 4e races were, but so heavily optimised for close-quarter combat that there was little encouragement besides fluff to be anything other than a melee brute.

:: Ability Scores: +2 Strength, +2 Constitution OR +2 Wisdom
:: Size: Medium
:: Speed: 6 squares
:: Vision: Normal
:: Skill Bonuses: +2 Nature, +2 Perception
:: Vitality: +1 healing surge
:: Ferocity: When you drop to zero hit points or fewer, you can make a melee basic attack as an immediate interrupt.
:: Heedless Charge: You have a +2 racial bonus to AC against attacks of opportunity you provoke during a charge.
:: Goring Charge: You have the Goring Charge racial power.

Goring Charge
Minotaur Racial Encounter Power
''You charge the enemy and gore it with your horns.''
:: Standard Action
:: Melee 1
:: Effect: You charge and make the following attack in place of a melee basic attack:
:: Target: One Creature
:: Attack: Strength, Constitution or Dexterity +4 (6 at 11th level and 8 at 21st level) vs. AC
:: Hit: 1D6 + Strength, Constitution or Dexterity modifier damage, and you knock the target prone.
* Level 11: 2D6 + Strength, Constitution or Dexterity modifier damage, and you knock the target prone.
* Level 21: 3D6 + Strength, Constitution or Dexterity modifier damage, and you knock the target prone.
{{D&D4e-Races}}

====D&D 5e====
The first playable version of a Minotaur in 5e appeared in [[Unearthed Arcana]] for May, 2015. This version was explicitly modeled after the Krynnish version, since WoTC this time realised that with the [[half-orc]], [[warforged]], and [[goliath]] already done, the "big tough bruiser" racial niche is already pretty overcrowded. The 1d10 natural weapon is powerful at low level, but it loses out to magic weapons & feat boosts later on.

Krynnish/Nautical Minotaur:
:: Ability Score Increase. Your Strength score increases by 1.
:: Conqueror’s Virtue. From a young age, you focused on one of the three virtues of strength, cunning, or intellect. Your choice of your Strength, Intelligence, or Wisdom score increases by 2.
:: Age. Minotaurs enter adulthood at around the age of 17 and can live up to 150 years.
:: Alignment. Minotaurs believe in a strict code of honor, and thus tend toward law. They are loyal to the death and make implacable enemies, even as their brutal culture and disdain for weakness push them toward evil.
:: Size. Minotaurs typically stand well over 6 feet tall and weigh an average of 300 pounds. Your size is Medium.
:: Speed. Your base walking speed is 30 feet.
:: Horns. You are never unarmed. You are proficient with your horns, which are a melee weapon that deals 1d10 piercing damage. Your horns grant you advantage on all checks made to shove a creature, but not to avoid being shoved yourself.
:: Goring Rush. When you use the Dash action during your turn, you can make a melee attack with your horns as a bonus action.
:: Hammering Horns. When you use the Attack action during your turn to make a melee attack, you can attempt to shove a creature with your horns as a bonus action. You cannot use this shove attempt to knock a creature prone.
:: Labyrinthine Recall. You can perfectly recall any path you have travelled.
:: Sea Reaver. You gain proficiency with navigator’s tools and vehicles (water).
:: Languages. You can speak, read, and write Common.

An alternative ovine-featured minotaur appeared in "Plane Shift: [[Amonkhet]]", but they're only reskinned [[half-orc]]s with a Natural Weapon instead of Darkvision. Not overpowered by any means, and certainly competing for mechanical space with the half-orcs.

Amonkhetian/Sheep-Headed Minotaur:
:: +2 Strength, +1 Constitution
:: Medium
:: Base speed 30 feet
:: Natural Weapon - Horns: You can use your Horns as a natural weapon to make an unarmed strike. A Horn Attack inflicts 1d6 + Str modifier Bludgeoning damage.
:: Menacing: You have Proficiency in Intimidation.
:: Relentless Endurance: When you would be reduced to 0 hit points, but not killed outright, you can choose to be reduced to 1 hit point instead. Once you have used this trait, you must complete a Long Rest before you can use it again.
:: Hammering Horns: Immediately after you hit a creature with a melee attack as part of the Attack action on your turn, you can use your reaction to make a shove attack against that creature. You can only make this shove attack on a creature that is no more than one size larger than you and which is within 5 feet of you. The creature must succeed on a Strength saving throw (DC 8 + your Proficiency bonus + your Strength modifier) or be pushed up to 5 feet away from you.
:: Savage Attacks: When you inflict a Critical Hit with a melee weapon, increase the damage inflicted by a further +1 weapon damage dice result.

And a third 5e Minotaur appeared in May 2018, three years after the original debuted. This one was closer to the "generic" minotaur in concept. It also loses out on the awesome and flavorful Labrynthine Recall in favor of being the "big tough bruiser" the previous UA minotaur was trying not to be, and represents the persistent overvaluation of natural weapons by the design team this edition. Whelp.

Standard Minotaur:
::Ability Score Modifiers: +2 Strength, +1 Constitution
::Size: Medium
::Speed: 30 feet
::Vision: Normal
::Horns: You possess horns, which are a natural weapon that you have proficiency with. When you hit with a horn attack, you inflict 1d6 + Strength modifier Piercing damage.
::Goring Rush: Immediately after you use the Dash action on your turn and move at least as far as your speed, you can make one melee attack with your horns as a bonus action.
::Hammering Horns: Immediately after you hit a creature with a melee attack as part of the Attack action on your turn, you can use your reaction to make a shove attack against that creature. You can only make this shove attack on a creature that is no more than one size larger than you and which is within 5 feet of you. The creature must succeed on a Strength saving throw (DC 8 + your Proficiency bonus + your Strength modifier) or be pushed up to 5 feet away from you.
::Menacing: You have Proficiency in the Intimidation skill.
::Hybrid Nature: You count as being both a Humanoid and a Monstrosity in terms of Creature Type, and thus can be affected by any game effect that specifically targets either of your types.

Finally, the "Official Minotaur" debuted in the Guildmaster's Guide to [[Ravnica]] in November 2018; this is the exact same stats as the UA "Standard Minotaur", but dropping Hybrid Nature and trading Menacing for Imposing Presence (free proficiency in either Intimidation or Persuasion).

====Midgard Minotaurs====
The 3rd-party setting of [[Midgard]] has its own unique spin on minotaurs, as well.
::Ability Score Increase: +2 Strength, +1 Constitution
::Size: Medium
::Speed: 30 feet
::Darkvision: 60 feet
::Natural Attacks: When making Unarmed Strikes, you can attack with your horns, which deal 1d6+Str modifier piercing damage.
::Charge: If you move at least 10 feet straight toward a target and hit it with a horn attack in the same turn, you deal +1d6 piercing damage and can use a bonus action to Shove the target 5 feet. You can only make a Charge attack once per turn. At 11th level, you can Shove the target up to 10 feet instead. You can only make a number of Charges per day equal to your Constitution modifier (minimum of 1). You recover all uses of this ability when you complete a Long Rest.
::Labyrinthine Sense: You can automatically retrace any path that you have taken, without error or the need for an ability check.

====Kinosian Minotaurs====
When the Classical Mythology-themed setting of [[Arkadia]] debuted, minotaurs were conspicuously absent from the ancestries of the [[Phaedran]], a race of [[Half-Fey]] bred from Greco-Roman themed fey races that stood in for playable examples of those races. Minotaurs appeared in the bestiary in the back of the setting book, but were described as curse-spawned [[fey]], too mindless and savage to possibly be adventurers, and this applied to any progeny created by coupling with [[human]]s, [[elves]], [[dwarves]] or [[orc]]s. Eventally, though, fan complaints caused them to backtrack on this and they introduced Kinosian Minotaurs as a free PDF expansion for the setting.

Kinosian minotaurs inhabit the crumbling, labyrinthine ruins of the island of Kinos, which they once shared peaceful with a now-extinct race of dwarves. Along amongst minotaurs of Arkadia, they are a fully sapient and civilized people, and nobody knows why they are so different to the monstrous, bestial minotaurs of the mainland. The dwarves of Kinos claimed it was the divine blessing of their god, Ptol, whilst sages speculate that maybe once all minotaurs were like those of Kinos, but for some reason those of Arkadia descended in savagery. Whatever the reason, Kinosian minotaurs are normally content to guard their ancestral labyrinths, but every so often, one dares to stride forth into the world.

Mechanically, Kinosian minotaurs have the following stats:
::Ability Score Increase: +2 Strength, +1 Constitution
::Size: Medium
::Speed: 30 feet
::Colossal Build: This is the same as Powerful Build, just with a different name.
::Monstrous Strength: Your first weapon attack using Strength each turn deals 1d4 extra damage of that weapon’s type.
::Bull’s Horns: Your horns are a natural weapon that you have proficiency with.When you hit with an attack using your horns you inflict 1d4 + Strength modifier piercing damage. This damage is further increased by Monstrous Strength. If you move at least 20 feet straight toward a creature no more than one size larger than you and then immediately hit it with an attack using your horns, it must succeed on a Strength or Dexterity saving throw against a DC equal to 8 + your Strength modifier + your proficiency bonus or be shoved 10 feet away and knocked prone. On a successful save, the creature is not shoved or knocked prone.

====Thylean Minotaurs====
In the [[Odyssey of the Dragonlords]] setting, minotaurs descend from a tribe of humans who were stranded upon the southern regions of Thylea by the great maelstrom that surroudns the lost continent. Coming to reside in the rocky hills of the Aresian peninsula, they built the city of Minos, but would have starved had they not discovered a celestial bull, which graciously loaned its supernatural strength and vigor to the fledgeling tribe, allowing them to produce bountiful crops. They began to venerate this bull as their god of the harvest, but this angered the vainglorious and cruel titan Sydon, who transformed the tribe into bulls themselves. He yoked them all to a plow and forced them to tread the same winding, geometric path, until their actions carved out a deep, labyrinthine gorge. Only when the plows broke were they restored, but the curse left them permanently marked - all Thylean minotaurs resemble humanoid bulls, to varying degrees; one may look like a normal person with a bull's head, another may look like a bovine [[satyr]], and a third may look like an anthropomorphic bull. They also possess the ability to transform into raging, long-horned cattle when in the throes of battle-rage. To this day, they are shunned by humans of Thylea, especially those of Mytros, who fear they are still cursed by the gods and often force them into indentured servitude.

Mechanically, a Thylean minotaur has the following stats:
::Ability Score Modifiers: +2 Strength, +1 Constitution
::Size: Medium
::Speed: 40 feeet
::Labyrinthine Vision: You have Darkvision 60 feet, gain Advantage on skill checks to solve maze-like puzzles, and automatically succeed on saves against Maze and Hypnotic Pattern.
::Colorblindness: You can only see the world in shades of red and gray.
::Keen Snout: You have Advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks based on scent, and can detect strong odors from up to 6 miles away.
::Cursed Transformation: From 5th level, you can use a bonus action to shapeshift into the form of a Bull (or a '''Dire Bull''', from 9th level) once per day as a bonus action. This follows the rules of a Polymorph spell, barring that you do not need to concentrate. This ability automatically triggers if you suffer prolonged exposure to very bright shades of red.

====Vodarin Minotaurs====
In the [[Seas of Vodari]], minotaurs were created by a [[demon]]ic master and once ruled a dark empire, but it was sundered during the Godwar and their patron abandoned them. Without its baleful influence, minotaurs adapted and evolved, forsaking their bloodthirsty origins and becoming a meritocracy ruled over by the most skilled. Though self-sufficient, they have a friendly attitude and often become adventurers.

::Ability Score Increase. Your Strength score increases by 2, and your Constitution score increases by 1.
::Age. Minotaurs reach maturity at around the age of 20 and can live well into the middle of their second century.
::Alignment. Most minotaurs are lawful and believe in a strict moral code. They prize strength, skill, and honor in all people.
::Size. Minotaurs are tall with heights around 7 feet. They have a large muscular build with their weight averaging around 300 lbs. Your size in Medium.
::Speed. Your base walking speed is 30 feet.
::Powerful Build. You count as one size larger when determining your carrying capacity and the weight you can push, drag, or lift.
::Savant. You gain proficiency in one skill of your choice. In addition, you gain proficiency with your choice of vehicles (water) or one type of artisan’s tools.
::Sense of Direction. You have advantage on checks against becoming lost and always know which direction you are facing.
::Horns. Your horns are natural melee weapons, with which you are proficient. If you hit with your horns, the target takes piercing damage equal to 1d6 + your Strength modifier.
::Minotaur Weapon Training. You have proficiency with the greataxe, greatsword, and maul.
::Languages. You can speak, read, and write Common and Abyssal.

{{D&D5e-Races}}

===D&D Gallery===
<center>
<gallery>
File:Krynnish Minotaur 2e.gif
File:Minotaur 2e.jpg
File:Minotaur 3e.jpg
File:Minotaurs 4e PHB3.jpg
File:4e_Minotaur_Gladiator.png
File:4e_Minotaur.png
File:4e Female Minotaur.png
</gallery>
</center>

== In Magic: The Gathering ==
Minotaurs are amongst the many, many races of creatures that appear throughout the [[plane]]s of [[Magic: The Gathering]], being native to [[Alara]], [[Amonkhet]], [[Dominaria]], [[Theros]], [[Ravnica]], [[Ulgrotha]], and [[Zendikar]]. Some planes actually have multiple distinct forms or cultures of minotaur, and the race includes ram- and antelope-headed versions as well as the classic bull-headed version.

Amokhet's minotaurs are ovine-featured instead of bovine-featured, and are notorious for being rowdy, boisterous and direct. If one takes "Plane Shift: Amonkhet" as canon, they're actally incredibly short-lived, even given that they live in a world where everybody considers the point of life to be achieving a glorious death and become an undead slave to the God-Pharoah - according to this document, they don't fully mature until the age of 20, but don't live much longer than age 40, which is why they're so driven to squeeze the most out of life. Although they prefer close combat, they're also capable of producing talented spellcasters, favoring fiery magic and buffs, and those few who take up long-ranged weaponry are devastating with their heavy bows and javelins.

In Dominaria, minotaur variants include the spiritual yet warlike clans of the Hurloon Mountains, famous for their practice of singing hymns to honor the fallen on both sides after a battle, the rare (possibly extinct) and super-shaggy minotaurs that roamed the Karplusan Mountains during the Ice Age, the eleven minotaur clans of Mirtiin, the radical and xenophobic minotaurs of Stahaan, who have been known to launch crusades against other races, and the vain, hairless, xenophobic, crystal sword-wielding minotaurs of the Talruum mountains, who are skilled [[wizard|illusionists]] and regard their kinsfolk as very ugly.

Therosian minotaurs are primal, carnivorous savages, little more than beasts stalking the night in search of blood. While they have existed for a while, this is when they started to get a lot of support like tribal effects. (Didgeridoo doesn't count, because it's on the Reserved List.)

In Ravnica, minotaurs are mostly native to Ordruun, where they serve the Boros Legion and the Wojeks, but they also have been seen fighting for the Izzet Legion.

Ulgrotha is home to both the Anaba, a shamanistic tribe of minotaur mystics, and to the Labyrinth Minotaurs, immortal guardians possibly created by magic.

Finally, Zendikar houses many different tribes of minotaurs, ranging from feral beasts to aggressive and impulsive, yet honorable, civilized tribes, who often practice earth-manipulating magic.

Minotaurs have earned some memetic laughs for the frequency with which they are the targets of various nasty effects in card art:
* [http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtg/daily/arcana/217 Sympathy for the Minotaur, Part 1]
* [http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtg/daily/arcana/436 Sympathy for the Minotaur, Part 2]
* [http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtg/daily/arcana/1274 Sympathy for the Minotaur, Part 3]

This probably started for the same reason [[Star Trek|Worf]] gets beat up all the time: They're big, tough and easy to recognize as big and tough so whatever beats them up must be ''really'' strong. It continues mostly as a tradition. This tradition got a playful nudge in Unstable in the series of cards [https://scryfall.com/card/ust/98c/target-minotaur| Target Minotaur], which shows 4 variations of the same unlucky minotaur getting pelted by spells.

===M:TG Gallery===
<center>
<gallery>
File:Amonkhetian Minotaur 1.png
File:Amonkhetian Minotaur 2.png ‎
</gallery>
</center>

== In Warhammer ==
The Minotaurs of [[Warhammer Fantasy]] were a bovine form of beastman, not to be confused with older lore stating that [[Slaanesh|Slaangors]] often mutated to look more bovine. Mindless, bloodthirsty carnivors, a minotaur on the tabletop was a fucking rape train, half-bull half-man killing machine employed by the [[beastmen|chaos furries]]. Their generic characters the Doombull and Gorebull are Minotaur characters able to be even more fucking rapetastic shit because they're the strongest and smartest of their kind.

Taurox was a named Minotaur character who was favored by [[Khorne]], despite being a beastman, aka the unwanted bastard children of the dark gods, meaning he was epic as shit to be noticed by the higher up. Sadly, he got shot down by Markus Wulfhart.

In AoS, they're back under the [[Games Workshop|more copyrightable name]] "Bullgors". Not much has changed, only instead of them pissing and shitting everywhere in forests in the Old World, it's forests across the realms.

== Other /tg/ Appearances ==
[[Warcraft]] was one of the first settings to give good minotaurs a look, in the form of the tauren, which are basically minotaurs done by way of the "noble savage Native American" stereotype. They eventually revealed more variants around Azeroth, like the EVIL Taunka to the north which resembling bison, the Yaungol who look like Himalayan yaks and have a bit of "roaming mongolian nomads" going on and finally the Highmountain Tauren, who are modelled after moose.

In [[White Wolf]]'s [[Scion]] setting, minotaurs are a race of Demigod-tier mooks spawned when the aforementioned White Bull of Crete emerged from the sea, raped Pasiphae, and then began rampaging all over Crete raping every woman it encountered until Hercules came along and caught the fucking thing - King Minos couldn't stop it because it would have pissed off Poseidon, who sent it to do this pretty much for shits and giggles. All-male themselves, minotaurs have to keep raping human women to keep their numbers up.

In [[Monster Hunter International]] they, or at least one Texas based tribe of them, prefer to be called Bullmen. They are among the few monsters that are both friendly to humans and PUFF exempt thanks to one of their own serving in the Vietnam war. They hold loyalty high enough one volunteers to have his hide made into a leather jacket to continue protecting the person he died protecting. Said jacket is tough enough that it is both bulletproof (though this hasn't been seriously tested) and can survive the wearer turning into a werewolf.

==Monstergirls==
{{Monstergirls}}
Alongside [[centaurs]] (their fellow Greeks), minotaurs share the dubious honor of being a race that is alternatively embraced and shunned by fans of both [[monstergirls]] and [[furry]] - though their native form leans much closer to the furry side, monstergirl minotaurs are basically [[musclegirl]]s with huge tits and at least one of several potential minor bovine features - long horns are near-universal, but they may also possess any or all of cow-like ears, a cow-like tail, digitigrade legs, hooves instead of feet, or unusual breasts/nipples (multiple boobs, oversized/multiple nipples, etc). You know, around the 10% mark on the furry meter, a bovine analogue to [[faun]]s. As for why minotaur monstergirls are so common, it's probably because of the connotation between "cow monstergirl" and "fucking huge tits" oppai Oppai OPPAI.

In fact, the presence of Minotaurs in the monstergirl fandom is a little contentious; "[[cowgirl]]s", bovine-featured girls who tend to be hugely busty, often pleasingly curvy or soft in build, and very shy and gentle, are about as prolific in the MG fandom as the [[catgirl]], and considered similarly "entry tier". Many argue that a cowgirl isn't a "real" minotaur MG unless she's also an [[amazon]], or at least a [[musclegirl]], and even then there's arguments about whether she has to have a brazen and forceful personality, matching the traditional violent/warlike depiction of the minotaur-as-monster, or if she can still be (at least in the right circumstances) as sweet and gentle as ordinary cowgirls. So in short, the difference between a cowgirl and a minotaur girl is the same as the difference between a domestic farm cow and an undomesticated aurox.

This divide is referenced in [[Life With Monstergirls]]: whilst their Minotaur "Liminal Race" is supposedly divided into the aggressive "Bullfighting" Minotaur and the more gentle and docile "Milking" Minotaur, the sample minotaur character Cathyl is a Milking type with an extremely aggressive nature who is quick to revert to violence. All minotaur females look like horned women with digitigrade, furry, cow-hooved legs, furry elf-like ears, and a cow's tail. Milking Types have huge tits which steadily swell bigger as they produce the day's milk, growing to painfully swollen and tender proportions far larger than a human head - Cathyl's breasts are bigger than even those of Tio, the [[ogre]] monstergirl who had previously been the must buxom member of the cast. Minotaur men are bull-headed muscular brutes with cow tails and legs, in a standard Japanese "men are more bestial than women" art style. It's unclear if both types of minotaur women are [[musclegirl]]s; Cathyl is a Milking type who is visibly ripped, but she's also a farm-girl who spends a lot of time doing heavy labor. Of course, the same would probably be true of the average Milking type.

===MGE===
[[File:MGE Minotaur.jpg|300px|thumb|right|The MGE's Minotaur stands out from the [[cowgirl]] herd in a few ways.]]
The [[Monster Girl Encyclopedia]] actively embraces the minotaur/cowgirl divide by making them into two separate species; the ox/bull-based minotaur, and the cow-based holstaur. Minotaurs tend to be brazen, crass, forceful and violent in everything they do. If they see a potential partner they like they won't think twice about forcing themselves onto them. Extremely lazy by nature, they are hedonists who are driven by their emotions and live to eat, sleep and have sex. When not doing any of those things, they are usually working off some pent-up fury, which is one of the reasons why they are so ripped. The other reason is probably their love of rough sex, making every one of their constant bouts of lovemaking into a real workout.

Minotaur mamono are notorious for their peculiar trait of flying into a lustful frenzy if exposed to the color red.

Some translations of the name call them the Minotaurus race instead.

For details on their more "dainty" cousins, the Holstaur and the Hakutaku, see the [[Cowgirl]] page.

===Gallery===
<center>
<gallery>
File:Buff Minotaur.jpg|Delicious beef.
File:Shy Minotaur.jpg|Stronger than she looks.
File:Quadbreasted Minotaur Warrior.jpg|Some artists apply bovines having four udders in a [[/d/]]ifferent way to cowgirls.
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition races]]

[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Magic: The Gathering]][[Category:Dragonlance]][[Category:Monsters]][[Category:Greek Mythology]][[Category:Furry]][[Category:Beastmen]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Beasts Of Chaos]]

Minotaur

2020-07-06T04:31:44Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:F12F:1B08:E3BB:8393:

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[[File:Minotaur 5e.jpg‎|300px|thumb|right|D&D's latest depiction of the minotaur.]]
:''No relation to the [[Space Marine]] [[Chapter]] called the [[Minotaurs]], who have several references to the mythological creature.''

A '''minotaur''' is a half-[[human|man]], half-bull, taking the form of a humanoid figure - originally purely human, but adding any combination of fur, a tail and digitigrade hooved legs became popular somewhere around the 80s - with a bull's head. Though at least one artist drew the minotaur as a messed up centaur, with a human head on a hulking bull.

This creature originates in Greek [[mythology]], much like its fellow [[Medusa]]. Also like Medusa, "the Minotaur" was the name/title of a unique individual abomination rather than a species. ''Still'' also like Medusa, its origin story is pretty weird and fucked up, even by the standards of Greek mythology. The original minotaur, whose title means "the bull of Minos" and whose true name was actually Asterion or Asterius, was born to one Queen Pasiphae. Minos was supposed to sacrifice a white bull to the god Poseidon, but he refused because he took a liking to the majestic creature. As punishment, Poseidon had his wife Pasiphae take a bigger liking, and by "bigger liking" we mean to the point of having a giant hollow bull statue constructed so [[/d/|she could consummate her liking for the bull in private]]. After the minotaur was born, Minos was understandably livid that his wife cheated on him with an animal, but killing the bastard wasn't on the list (probably for good reason), so the hybrid was kept in a labyrinth so that ordinary people wouldn't have to look at it.

This might seem like a pretty raw deal for the minotaur, but on the other hand the Cretans forced the Athenians to send virgins for the monster's meals, because apparently omnivore + herbivore = obligate carnivore: once every seven years (or just every year, depending on the source) seven of the bravest youths and seven of the fairest maidens would be the minotaur's munchies. This would mean that either the Minotaur would be able to survive off of one teenager for six months and the rest would keep wandering around for up to six and a half years (aside from the question of how ''they'' didn't starve to death), or else be he ate them all in one sitting and digest them over the course of several years like the [[Star Wars|Sarlacc Pit Monster]]. When it was time for the third serving of Soylent Happy Meals, a bloke named Theseus came along and objected to this man-eating. He took the place of one of the youths (meaning that he must've been one hell of a bishie), sailed to Crete (where he fell in love with a local princess, but that's a tale for another time) and set up a rope that he could follow back. He found the center of the maze by constantly going straight ahead and never going left or right, and encountered the sleeping minotaur. Depending on the source he either stabbed it in the throat or [[Awesome|strangled it with his bare hands]], after which he walked out unmolested by the Creteans, who didn't stop him because they were too busy scratching their heads wondering why they didn't try that before.

As a result of this story, minotaurs are associated with labyrinths and mazes of all kinds. In [[AD&D]] minotaurs are immune to the Maze spell, which is odd given that the labyrinth was intended to keep the original thing in to begin with. In [[Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition]] they enjoy puzzles and feel at home in twisting, turning passages. Whenever minotaurs build towns or cities, the roads are always arranged in the most confusing way possible. To the locals, this makes perfect sense. To adventurers, it's a fucking pain. To [[GM]]s, it's an easy way to take up an hour or two of the party's time after they breeze through your perfectly designed challenge in 5 minutes and you have nothing left this session.

An interesting way to play with this trope might be to have a Minotaur philosopher character, who [[Tzeentch|makes heavy use of labyrinthian logic full of twists and turns and who jumps through many a hoop to reach his conclusion. One could also have a minotaur character be the center of such a labyrinthian ''plot'' ]].

==Dungeons & Dragons==
Minotaurs in [[Dungeons & Dragons]] traditionally worship [[Baphomet]], Demon Prince of Beasts, which makes them bitter enemies of the [[Gnoll]] race, due to the rivalry between Baphomet and [[Yeenoghu]].

4e was also the first edition to make minotaurs a mainstream playable race, rather than monsters - they had first been given a playable write up in [[Dragonlance]]. In [[Nentir_Vale|Points of Light]], Minotaurs were originally ruled over by Baphomet, the Horned King. After the Dawn War ended, he was cast into the Abyss and [[Erathis]], the goddess of civilisation, called dibs on the minotaurs. This went well for a short while, until [[Cultist-Chan|cultists]] of Baphomet corrupted the city, and [[Melora]] had to kill them with fire. Individual minotaurs struggle with the insane beasts that rages in the maze within their heads. If they succumb to this madness, they often fall into thralldom to Baphomet. If they were to overcome this insanity or keep it at bay their entire lives, minotaurs can be civilised creatures, though often preferring to live on the edge of society.

In [[Dragonlance]], it's noted that minotaurs actually have two-toed but otherwise human-like feet, with hooves being restricted to corrupted throwback-mutants. They're also famous for being even more Greco-Roman inspired than minotaurs usually are, having a highly disciplined, warlike culture based on a strong army and martial honor, gladiatorial games being super-important (it's even how they select their emperors!), and being expert sailors. So much so that 5e made minotaurs playable by using the Krynn variant as inspiration and releasing it in the Waterborne Adventures web-enhancement [http://media.wizards.com/2015/downloads/dnd/UA_Waterborne_v3.pdf here].

===D&D Racial Stats===
Playable minotaurs have never received a lot of attention, but they have appeared here and there throughout the editions.

{{dnd-stub}}

====AD&D====
Playable minotaurs appeared twice in [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]]. The first time, for AD&D 1e, was in [[Dragon Magazine]] #116. They were then present in the 2nd edition sourcebook [[The Complete Book of]] Humanoids. The Savage Coast of [[Mystara]] sourcebooks for 2e also provided stats for the [[Enduk]], a race of winged minotaurs native to that gonzo-fantasy world.

{{D&D2e-Races}}

====Dragonlance====
Minotaurs have ''long'' had a prominent place in [[Dragonlance]]. In fact, if you don't count [[Tinker Gnome]]s and [[Kender]] (which most people prefer not to, seeing as how they're more annoying setting-specific versions of [[gnome]]s and [[halfling]]s), minotaurs were one of the two ''new'' PC races introduced in "Dragonlance Adventures", the first ever sourcebook for the setting in [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]] 1st edition. This is a position they share with the [[Irda]].

Minotaurs in this setting are basically Spartans, combining a brutal warrior culture with codes of honor and scholarship. Their society is built on Three Virtues, Strength, Cunning, and Learning, and they're famed navigators and pirates. They tend towards Lawful Evil rather than chaos.

In the 3.5 Sourcebook "Races of Ansalon", Minotaurs got a chapter all to themselves. Their stats are as follows:

:: +4 Strength, –2 Dexterity, –2 Intelligence, –2 Charisma. Minotaurs are large and powerful, but not very agile. From youth, minotaurs focus on developing their muscle over their minds. Minotaur arrogance can be offensive to other races.
:: Medium: As Medium creatures, minotaurs have no special bonuses or penalties.
:: A minotaur’s base land speed is 30 feet.
:: +2 natural armor bonus.
:: Gore: A minotaur may use his horns as natural weapons to make a gore attack, dealing 1d6 points of damage plus the minotaur’s Strength modifier. If the minotaur charges, his gore attack deals 2d6 points of damage, plus 1 ½ times his Strength modifier. A minotaur can attack with a weapon at his normal attack bonus and make a gore attack as a secondary attack (–5 penalty on the attack roll and half Strength bonus on the damage roll).
:: +2 racial bonus on Intimidate, Swim, and Use Rope checks. Minotaurs are familiar with the sea and naturally adept at skills useful among seafarers.
:: Minotaurs may take the scent special quality as a feat. (See the Monster Manual.)
:: Automatic Languages: Common, Kothian. Bonus Languages: Kalinese, Nordmaarian, Ogre, Saifhum.
:: [[Favored Class]]: [[Fighter]].

====3e====
3rd Edition featured two extremely different versions of playable minotaurs. The first version, appearing in the [[Monster Manual]], was quite a beast, with 6 hit dice and a +2 level adjustment, meaning that minotaur player characters had to start at ECL 9. The full statblock, as printed in the 3.5e Monster Manual, is as follows:

:: +8 Strength, +4 Constitution, –4 Intelligence, –2 Charisma.
:: Large size.
:: Space/Reach: 10 feet/10 feet.
:: A minotaur’s base land speed is 30 feet.
:: Darkvision out to 60 feet.
:: Racial Hit Dice: A minotaur begins with six levels of monstrous humanoid, which provide 6d8 Hit Dice, a base attack bonus of +6, and base saving throw bonuses of Fort +2, Ref +5, and Will +5.
:: Racial Skills: A minotaur’s monstrous humanoid levels give it skill points equal to 9 × (2 + Int modifier, minimum 1). Its class skills are Intimidate, Jump, Listen, Search, and Spot. Minotaurs have a +4 racial bonus on Search, Spot, and Listen checks.
:: Weapon Proficiency: A minotaur is proficient with the greataxe and all simple weapons.
:: +5 natural armor bonus.
:: Natural Weapons: Gore (1d8).
:: Special Attacks: Powerful charge.
:: Special Qualities): Natural cunning, scent.
:: Automatic Languages: Common, Giant. Bonus Languages: Orc, Goblin, Terran.
:: Favored Class: Barbarian.
:: Level adjustment +2.

A few months after the launch of 3.5e, the Dragonlance Campaign Setting was updated for Third Edition rules, and it featured a severely nerfed form of Minotaur that players could play at level one. Its full stat block is as follows:

:: +4 strength, -2 dexterity, -2 intelligence, -2 charisma
:: Medium size
:: Base land speed 30 feet
:: Natural armor +2
:: a gore attack for 1d6 + str modifier
:: a charge + gore attack for damage equal to 2d6 plus 1.5x str
:: +2 to intimidate, Swim, and Use Rope checks
:: can take Scent as a feat
:: Automatic languages: Common and Kothian. Bonus languages: Kalinese, Nordmaarian, Ogre, and Saifhum
:: Favored class: Fighter

====Pathfinder====
Like most OGL monsters from 3E, Minotaur's only changes in [[Pathfinder]] are system wide (which means no LA so they can't be playable). In [[Golarion]] minotaurs are, in addition to a true breeding race, a result of a curse on human parents by [[Lamashtu]]. This means any organization in or near human lands could have a Minotaur around as some muscle.

Dreamscarred Press, in love with [[Psionics|old]] [[Incarnum|often weird]] [[Book of Nine Swords|subsystems]] (they even toyed around with making [[Truenamer]] not shit!), created their own version of the Monster Classes introduced in Savage Species (and used by the World of Warcraft RPG mentioned above). Naturally one of the monster classes they made was the Minotaur. Minotaur is one of the simplest monster classes, having all the abilities of the "real" minotaur at the same strength across the same number of hit die and just being a grandular progression from level 1. They are great melee brutes, but with one obvious flaw: They aren't proficient with armor. They either need to dip into some class or stick to 0 ACP armor like (masterwork studded) leather. They do however get the ability to pick an awesome minotaur only feat at 15th level called Labyrinth Lord: It's simultaneously a maze SLA, a way to force enemies into one on one combat, an infinite size portable hole and a Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion.

====World of Warcraft: The Roleplaying Game====
Tauren, the aforementioned Good Guy Minotaurs, appeared in the original [[Warcraft]] D20 RPG, but were re-written with a much better format (including dumping the racial level adjustment) in the [[World of Warcraft]] re-release. They were there from the corebook, and they had these stats:
:: +2 Strength, -2 Agility (Dexterity)
:: Medium
:: Base land speed 30 feet
:: Natural Weapon (Ex): Taurens have a set of horns that function as a natural weapon that deals 1D8+ Str bonus damage. Tauren are automatically proficient in the use of their horns.
:: Weapon Familiarity: Tauren Halberds and Tauren Totems are Martial weapons rather than Exotic for Tauren.
:: Weapon Proficiency: Longspear and Shortspear
:: +2 Racial bonus on Handle Animal and Survival checks. Handle Animal and Survival are always class skills for Tauren.
:: Racial Class: Tauren
:: Favored Class: Warrior

Tauren Racial Class
:: Hit Die: D10
:: Skill Points (1st level): (2 + Int modifier) x 4
:: Skill Points (else): 2 + Int modifier
:: "Class" Skills: Climb, Concentration, Handle Animal, Listen, Sense Motive, Spellcraft, Spot, Survival.
:: Weapon & Armor Proficiency: Simple Weapons, exluding Crossbows, and Light Armor
:: Level 1: BAB +0, Fort Save +2, Ref Save +0, Will Save +2,+1 Strength, Tauren Charge (when charging, a tauren may use their horns instead of a melee weapon; this lets the tauren inflict a Gore attack that does horn damage + 1 1/2 times the tauren's Strength modifier in addition to the normal benefits)
:: Level 2: BAB +1, Fort Save +2, Ref Save +0, Will Save +2, +2 Spirit (Wisdom), +4 racial bonus on saves vs. fear, Tauren Weapon Proficiency (gain proficiency in either Tauren Halberd or Tauren Totem)
:: Level 3: BAB +2, Fort Save +3, Ref Save +1, Will Save +3,+1 Strength, Improved Tauren Charge (tauren is considered Large size for charging and bull rushing, +4 racial bonus on Strength checks for bull rush effects), Tauren Weapon Proficiency (gain proficiency in either Tauren Halberd or Tauren Totem)

====D&D 4e====
The sad proof that, for all 4e's efforts at trying to undo the pigeonholing effect of race from editions past, it hadn't quite gotten past it yet. Not a mechanically ''bad'' race, few 4e races were, but so heavily optimised for close-quarter combat that there was little encouragement besides fluff to be anything other than a melee brute.

:: Ability Scores: +2 Strength, +2 Constitution OR +2 Wisdom
:: Size: Medium
:: Speed: 6 squares
:: Vision: Normal
:: Skill Bonuses: +2 Nature, +2 Perception
:: Vitality: +1 healing surge
:: Ferocity: When you drop to zero hit points or fewer, you can make a melee basic attack as an immediate interrupt.
:: Heedless Charge: You have a +2 racial bonus to AC against attacks of opportunity you provoke during a charge.
:: Goring Charge: You have the Goring Charge racial power.

Goring Charge
Minotaur Racial Encounter Power
''You charge the enemy and gore it with your horns.''
:: Standard Action
:: Melee 1
:: Effect: You charge and make the following attack in place of a melee basic attack:
:: Target: One Creature
:: Attack: Strength, Constitution or Dexterity +4 (6 at 11th level and 8 at 21st level) vs. AC
:: Hit: 1D6 + Strength, Constitution or Dexterity modifier damage, and you knock the target prone.
* Level 11: 2D6 + Strength, Constitution or Dexterity modifier damage, and you knock the target prone.
* Level 21: 3D6 + Strength, Constitution or Dexterity modifier damage, and you knock the target prone.
{{D&D4e-Races}}

====D&D 5e====
The first playable version of a Minotaur in 5e appeared in [[Unearthed Arcana]] for May, 2015. This version was explicitly modeled after the Krynnish version, since WoTC this time realised that with the [[half-orc]], [[warforged]], and [[goliath]] already done, the "big tough bruiser" racial niche is already pretty overcrowded. The 1d10 natural weapon is powerful at low level, but it loses out to magic weapons & feat boosts later on.

Krynnish/Nautical Minotaur:
:: Ability Score Increase. Your Strength score increases by 1.
:: Conqueror’s Virtue. From a young age, you focused on one of the three virtues of strength, cunning, or intellect. Your choice of your Strength, Intelligence, or Wisdom score increases by 2.
:: Age. Minotaurs enter adulthood at around the age of 17 and can live up to 150 years.
:: Alignment. Minotaurs believe in a strict code of honor, and thus tend toward law. They are loyal to the death and make implacable enemies, even as their brutal culture and disdain for weakness push them toward evil.
:: Size. Minotaurs typically stand well over 6 feet tall and weigh an average of 300 pounds. Your size is Medium.
:: Speed. Your base walking speed is 30 feet.
:: Horns. You are never unarmed. You are proficient with your horns, which are a melee weapon that deals 1d10 piercing damage. Your horns grant you advantage on all checks made to shove a creature, but not to avoid being shoved yourself.
:: Goring Rush. When you use the Dash action during your turn, you can make a melee attack with your horns as a bonus action.
:: Hammering Horns. When you use the Attack action during your turn to make a melee attack, you can attempt to shove a creature with your horns as a bonus action. You cannot use this shove attempt to knock a creature prone.
:: Labyrinthine Recall. You can perfectly recall any path you have travelled.
:: Sea Reaver. You gain proficiency with navigator’s tools and vehicles (water).
:: Languages. You can speak, read, and write Common.

An alternative ovine-featured minotaur appeared in "Plane Shift: [[Amonkhet]]", but they're only reskinned [[half-orc]]s with a Natural Weapon instead of Darkvision. Not overpowered by any means, and certainly competing for mechanical space with the half-orcs.

Amonkhetian/Sheep-Headed Minotaur:
:: +2 Strength, +1 Constitution
:: Medium
:: Base speed 30 feet
:: Natural Weapon - Horns: You can use your Horns as a natural weapon to make an unarmed strike. A Horn Attack inflicts 1d6 + Str modifier Bludgeoning damage.
:: Menacing: You have Proficiency in Intimidation.
:: Relentless Endurance: When you would be reduced to 0 hit points, but not killed outright, you can choose to be reduced to 1 hit point instead. Once you have used this trait, you must complete a Long Rest before you can use it again.
:: Hammering Horns: Immediately after you hit a creature with a melee attack as part of the Attack action on your turn, you can use your reaction to make a shove attack against that creature. You can only make this shove attack on a creature that is no more than one size larger than you and which is within 5 feet of you. The creature must succeed on a Strength saving throw (DC 8 + your Proficiency bonus + your Strength modifier) or be pushed up to 5 feet away from you.
:: Savage Attacks: When you inflict a Critical Hit with a melee weapon, increase the damage inflicted by a further +1 weapon damage dice result.

And a third 5e Minotaur appeared in May 2018, three years after the original debuted. This one was closer to the "generic" minotaur in concept. It also loses out on the awesome and flavorful Labrynthine Recall in favor of being the "big tough bruiser" the previous UA minotaur was trying not to be, and represents the persistent overvaluation of natural weapons by the design team this edition. Whelp.

Standard Minotaur:
::Ability Score Modifiers: +2 Strength, +1 Constitution
::Size: Medium
::Speed: 30 feet
::Vision: Normal
::Horns: You possess horns, which are a natural weapon that you have proficiency with. When you hit with a horn attack, you inflict 1d6 + Strength modifier Piercing damage.
::Goring Rush: Immediately after you use the Dash action on your turn and move at least as far as your speed, you can make one melee attack with your horns as a bonus action.
::Hammering Horns: Immediately after you hit a creature with a melee attack as part of the Attack action on your turn, you can use your reaction to make a shove attack against that creature. You can only make this shove attack on a creature that is no more than one size larger than you and which is within 5 feet of you. The creature must succeed on a Strength saving throw (DC 8 + your Proficiency bonus + your Strength modifier) or be pushed up to 5 feet away from you.
::Menacing: You have Proficiency in the Intimidation skill.
::Hybrid Nature: You count as being both a Humanoid and a Monstrosity in terms of Creature Type, and thus can be affected by any game effect that specifically targets either of your types.

Finally, the "Official Minotaur" debuted in the Guildmaster's Guide to [[Ravnica]] in November 2018; this is the exact same stats as the UA "Standard Minotaur", but dropping Hybrid Nature and trading Menacing for Imposing Presence (free proficiency in either Intimidation or Persuasion).

====Midgard Minotaurs====
The 3rd-party setting of [[Midgard]] has its own unique spin on minotaurs, as well.
::Ability Score Increase: +2 Strength, +1 Constitution
::Size: Medium
::Speed: 30 feet
::Darkvision: 60 feet
::Natural Attacks: When making Unarmed Strikes, you can attack with your horns, which deal 1d6+Str modifier piercing damage.
::Charge: If you move at least 10 feet straight toward a target and hit it with a horn attack in the same turn, you deal +1d6 piercing damage and can use a bonus action to Shove the target 5 feet. You can only make a Charge attack once per turn. At 11th level, you can Shove the target up to 10 feet instead. You can only make a number of Charges per day equal to your Constitution modifier (minimum of 1). You recover all uses of this ability when you complete a Long Rest.
::Labyrinthine Sense: You can automatically retrace any path that you have taken, without error or the need for an ability check.

====Kinosian Minotaurs====
When the Classical Mythology-themed setting of [[Arkadia]] debuted, minotaurs were conspicuously absent from the ancestries of the [[Phaedran]], a race of [[Half-Fey]] bred from Greco-Roman themed fey races that stood in for playable examples of those races. Minotaurs appeared in the bestiary in the back of the setting book, but were described as curse-spawned [[fey]], too mindless and savage to possibly be adventurers, and this applied to any progeny created by coupling with [[human]]s, [[elves]], [[dwarves]] or [[orc]]s. Eventally, though, fan complaints caused them to backtrack on this and they introduced Kinosian Minotaurs as a free PDF expansion for the setting.

Kinosian minotaurs inhabit the crumbling, labyrinthine ruins of the island of Kinos, which they once shared peaceful with a now-extinct race of dwarves. Along amongst minotaurs of Arkadia, they are a fully sapient and civilized people, and nobody knows why they are so different to the monstrous, bestial minotaurs of the mainland. The dwarves of Kinos claimed it was the divine blessing of their god, Ptol, whilst sages speculate that maybe once all minotaurs were like those of Kinos, but for some reason those of Arkadia descended in savagery. Whatever the reason, Kinosian minotaurs are normally content to guard their ancestral labyrinths, but every so often, one dares to stride forth into the world.

Mechanically, Kinosian minotaurs have the following stats:
::Ability Score Increase: +2 Strength, +1 Constitution
::Size: Medium
::Speed: 30 feet
::Colossal Build: This is the same as Powerful Build, just with a different name.
::Monstrous Strength: Your first weapon attack using Strength each turn deals 1d4 extra damage of that weapon’s type.
::Bull’s Horns: Your horns are a natural weapon that you have proficiency with.When you hit with an attack using your horns you inflict 1d4 + Strength modifier piercing damage. This damage is further increased by Monstrous Strength. If you move at least 20 feet straight toward a creature no more than one size larger than you and then immediately hit it with an attack using your horns, it must succeed on a Strength or Dexterity saving throw against a DC equal to 8 + your Strength modifier + your proficiency bonus or be shoved 10 feet away and knocked prone. On a successful save, the creature is not shoved or knocked prone.

====Thylean Minotaurs====
In the [[Odyssey of the Dragonlords]] setting, minotaurs descend from a tribe of humans who were stranded upon the southern regions of Thylea by the great maelstrom that surroudns the lost continent. Coming to reside in the rocky hills of the Aresian peninsula, they built the city of Minos, but would have starved had they not discovered a celestial bull, which graciously loaned its supernatural strength and vigor to the fledgeling tribe, allowing them to produce bountiful crops. They began to venerate this bull as their god of the harvest, but this angered the vainglorious and cruel titan Sydon, who transformed the tribe into bulls themselves. He yoked them all to a plow and forced them to tread the same winding, geometric path, until their actions carved out a deep, labyrinthine gorge. Only when the plows broke were they restored, but the curse left them permanently marked - all Thylean minotaurs resemble humanoid bulls, to varying degrees; one may look like a normal person with a bull's head, another may look like a bovine [[satyr]], and a third may look like an anthropomorphic bull. They also possess the ability to transform into raging, long-horned cattle when in the throes of battle-rage. To this day, they are shunned by humans of Thylea, especially those of Mytros, who fear they are still cursed by the gods and often force them into indentured servitude.

Mechanically, a Thylean minotaur has the following stats:
::Ability Score Modifiers: +2 Strength, +1 Constitution
::Size: Medium
::Speed: 40 feeet
::Labyrinthine Vision: You have Darkvision 60 feet, gain Advantage on skill checks to solve maze-like puzzles, and automatically succeed on saves against Maze and Hypnotic Pattern.
::Colorblindness: You can only see the world in shades of red and gray.
::Keen Snout: You have Advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks based on scent, and can detect strong odors from up to 6 miles away.
::Cursed Transformation: From 5th level, you can use a bonus action to shapeshift into the form of a Bull (or a '''Dire Bull''', from 9th level) once per day as a bonus action. This follows the rules of a Polymorph spell, barring that you do not need to concentrate. This ability automatically triggers if you suffer prolonged exposure to very bright shades of red.

====Vodarin Minotaurs====
In the [[Seas of Vodari]], minotaurs were created by a [[demon]]ic master and once ruled a dark empire, but it was sundered during the Godwar and their patron abandoned them. Without its baleful influence, minotaurs adapted and evolved, forsaking their bloodthirsty origins and becoming a meritocracy ruled over by the most skilled. Though self-sufficient, they have a friendly attitude and often become adventurers.

::Ability Score Increase. Your Strength score increases by 2, and your Constitution score increases by 1.
::Age. Minotaurs reach maturity at around the age of 20 and can live well into the middle of their second century.
::Alignment. Most minotaurs are lawful and believe in a strict moral code. They prize strength, skill, and honor in all people.
::Size. Minotaurs are tall with heights around 7 feet. They have a large muscular build with their weight averaging around 300 lbs. Your size in Medium.
::Speed. Your base walking speed is 30 feet.
::Powerful Build. You count as one size larger when determining your carrying capacity and the weight you can push, drag, or lift.
::Savant. You gain proficiency in one skill of your choice. In addition, you gain proficiency with your choice of vehicles (water) or one type of artisan’s tools.
::Sense of Direction. You have advantage on checks against becoming lost and always know which direction you are facing.
::Horns. Your horns are natural melee weapons, with which you are proficient. If you hit with your horns, the target takes piercing damage equal to 1d6 + your Strength modifier.
::Minotaur Weapon Training. You have proficiency with the greataxe, greatsword, and maul.
::Languages. You can speak, read, and write Common and Abyssal.

{{D&D5e-Races}}

===D&D Gallery===
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== In Magic: The Gathering ==
Minotaurs are amongst the many, many races of creatures that appear throughout the [[plane]]s of [[Magic: The Gathering]], being native to [[Alara]], [[Amonkhet]], [[Dominaria]], [[Theros]], [[Ravnica]], [[Ulgrotha]], and [[Zendikar]]. Some planes actually have multiple distinct forms or cultures of minotaur, and the race includes ram- and antelope-headed versions as well as the classic bull-headed version.

Amokhet's minotaurs are ovine-featured instead of bovine-featured, and are notorious for being rowdy, boisterous and direct. If one takes "Plane Shift: Amonkhet" as canon, they're actally incredibly short-lived, even given that they live in a world where everybody considers the point of life to be achieving a glorious death and become an undead slave to the God-Pharoah - according to this document, they don't fully mature until the age of 20, but don't live much longer than age 40, which is why they're so driven to squeeze the most out of life. Although they prefer close combat, they're also capable of producing talented spellcasters, favoring fiery magic and buffs, and those few who take up long-ranged weaponry are devastating with their heavy bows and javelins.

In Dominaria, minotaur variants include the spiritual yet warlike clans of the Hurloon Mountains, famous for their practice of singing hymns to honor the fallen on both sides after a battle, the rare (possibly extinct) and super-shaggy minotaurs that roamed the Karplusan Mountains during the Ice Age, the eleven minotaur clans of Mirtiin, the radical and xenophobic minotaurs of Stahaan, who have been known to launch crusades against other races, and the vain, hairless, xenophobic, crystal sword-wielding minotaurs of the Talruum mountains, who are skilled [[wizard|illusionists]] and regard their kinsfolk as very ugly.

Therosian minotaurs are primal, carnivorous savages, little more than beasts stalking the night in search of blood. While they have existed for a while, this is when they started to get a lot of support like tribal effects. (Didgeridoo doesn't count, because it's on the Reserved List.)

In Ravnica, minotaurs are mostly native to Ordruun, where they serve the Boros Legion and the Wojeks, but they also have been seen fighting for the Izzet Legion.

Ulgrotha is home to both the Anaba, a shamanistic tribe of minotaur mystics, and to the Labyrinth Minotaurs, immortal guardians possibly created by magic.

Finally, Zendikar houses many different tribes of minotaurs, ranging from feral beasts to aggressive and impulsive, yet honorable, civilized tribes, who often practice earth-manipulating magic.

Minotaurs have earned some memetic laughs for the frequency with which they are the targets of various nasty effects in card art:
* [http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtg/daily/arcana/217 Sympathy for the Minotaur, Part 1]
* [http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtg/daily/arcana/436 Sympathy for the Minotaur, Part 2]
* [http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtg/daily/arcana/1274 Sympathy for the Minotaur, Part 3]

This probably started for the same reason [[Star Trek|Worf]] gets beat up all the time: They're big, tough and easy to recognize as big and tough so whatever beats them up must be ''really'' strong. It continues mostly as a tradition. This tradition got a playful nudge in Unstable in the series of cards [https://scryfall.com/card/ust/98c/target-minotaur| Target Minotaur], which shows 4 variations of the same unlucky minotaur getting pelted by spells.

===M:TG Gallery===
<center>
<gallery>
File:Amonkhetian Minotaur 1.png
File:Amonkhetian Minotaur 2.png ‎
</gallery>
</center>

== In Warhammer ==
The Minotaurs of [[Warhammer Fantasy]] were a bovine form of beastman, not to be confused with older lore stating that [[Slaanesh|Slaangors]] often mutated to look more bovine. Mindless, bloodthirsty carnivors, a minotaur on the tabletop was a fucking rape train, half-bull half-man killing machine employed by the [[beastmen|chaos furries]]. Their generic characters the Doombull and Grebull are Minotaur characters that is able to do just as fucking rapetastic shit.

Taurox was a named Minotaur character who was favored by [[Khorne]], despite being a beastman, aka the unwanted bastard children of the dark gods, meaning he was epic as shit to be noticed by the higher up. Sadly, he got shot down by Markus Wulfhart.

In AoS, they're back under the [[Games Workshop|more copyrightable name]] "Bullgors". Not much has changed, only instead of them pissing and shitting everywhere in forests in the Old World, it's forests across the realms.

== Other /tg/ Appearances ==
[[Warcraft]] was one of the first settings to give good minotaurs a look, in the form of the tauren, which are basically minotaurs done by way of the "noble savage Native American" stereotype. They eventually revealed more variants around Azeroth, like the EVIL Taunka to the north which resembling bison, the Yaungol who look like Himalayan yaks and have a bit of "roaming mongolian nomads" going on and finally the Highmountain Tauren, who are modelled after moose.

In [[White Wolf]]'s [[Scion]] setting, minotaurs are a race of Demigod-tier mooks spawned when the aforementioned White Bull of Crete emerged from the sea, raped Pasiphae, and then began rampaging all over Crete raping every woman it encountered until Hercules came along and caught the fucking thing - King Minos couldn't stop it because it would have pissed off Poseidon, who sent it to do this pretty much for shits and giggles. All-male themselves, minotaurs have to keep raping human women to keep their numbers up.

In [[Monster Hunter International]] they, or at least one Texas based tribe of them, prefer to be called Bullmen. They are among the few monsters that are both friendly to humans and PUFF exempt thanks to one of their own serving in the Vietnam war. They hold loyalty high enough one volunteers to have his hide made into a leather jacket to continue protecting the person he died protecting. Said jacket is tough enough that it is both bulletproof (though this hasn't been seriously tested) and can survive the wearer turning into a werewolf.

==Monstergirls==
{{Monstergirls}}
Alongside [[centaurs]] (their fellow Greeks), minotaurs share the dubious honor of being a race that is alternatively embraced and shunned by fans of both [[monstergirls]] and [[furry]] - though their native form leans much closer to the furry side, monstergirl minotaurs are basically [[musclegirl]]s with huge tits and at least one of several potential minor bovine features - long horns are near-universal, but they may also possess any or all of cow-like ears, a cow-like tail, digitigrade legs, hooves instead of feet, or unusual breasts/nipples (multiple boobs, oversized/multiple nipples, etc). You know, around the 10% mark on the furry meter, a bovine analogue to [[faun]]s. As for why minotaur monstergirls are so common, it's probably because of the connotation between "cow monstergirl" and "fucking huge tits" oppai Oppai OPPAI.

In fact, the presence of Minotaurs in the monstergirl fandom is a little contentious; "[[cowgirl]]s", bovine-featured girls who tend to be hugely busty, often pleasingly curvy or soft in build, and very shy and gentle, are about as prolific in the MG fandom as the [[catgirl]], and considered similarly "entry tier". Many argue that a cowgirl isn't a "real" minotaur MG unless she's also an [[amazon]], or at least a [[musclegirl]], and even then there's arguments about whether she has to have a brazen and forceful personality, matching the traditional violent/warlike depiction of the minotaur-as-monster, or if she can still be (at least in the right circumstances) as sweet and gentle as ordinary cowgirls. So in short, the difference between a cowgirl and a minotaur girl is the same as the difference between a domestic farm cow and an undomesticated aurox.

This divide is referenced in [[Life With Monstergirls]]: whilst their Minotaur "Liminal Race" is supposedly divided into the aggressive "Bullfighting" Minotaur and the more gentle and docile "Milking" Minotaur, the sample minotaur character Cathyl is a Milking type with an extremely aggressive nature who is quick to revert to violence. All minotaur females look like horned women with digitigrade, furry, cow-hooved legs, furry elf-like ears, and a cow's tail. Milking Types have huge tits which steadily swell bigger as they produce the day's milk, growing to painfully swollen and tender proportions far larger than a human head - Cathyl's breasts are bigger than even those of Tio, the [[ogre]] monstergirl who had previously been the must buxom member of the cast. Minotaur men are bull-headed muscular brutes with cow tails and legs, in a standard Japanese "men are more bestial than women" art style. It's unclear if both types of minotaur women are [[musclegirl]]s; Cathyl is a Milking type who is visibly ripped, but she's also a farm-girl who spends a lot of time doing heavy labor. Of course, the same would probably be true of the average Milking type.

===MGE===
[[File:MGE Minotaur.jpg|300px|thumb|right|The MGE's Minotaur stands out from the [[cowgirl]] herd in a few ways.]]
The [[Monster Girl Encyclopedia]] actively embraces the minotaur/cowgirl divide by making them into two separate species; the ox/bull-based minotaur, and the cow-based holstaur. Minotaurs tend to be brazen, crass, forceful and violent in everything they do. If they see a potential partner they like they won't think twice about forcing themselves onto them. Extremely lazy by nature, they are hedonists who are driven by their emotions and live to eat, sleep and have sex. When not doing any of those things, they are usually working off some pent-up fury, which is one of the reasons why they are so ripped. The other reason is probably their love of rough sex, making every one of their constant bouts of lovemaking into a real workout.

Minotaur mamono are notorious for their peculiar trait of flying into a lustful frenzy if exposed to the color red.

Some translations of the name call them the Minotaurus race instead.

For details on their more "dainty" cousins, the Holstaur and the Hakutaku, see the [[Cowgirl]] page.

===Gallery===
<center>
<gallery>
File:Buff Minotaur.jpg|Delicious beef.
File:Shy Minotaur.jpg|Stronger than she looks.
File:Quadbreasted Minotaur Warrior.jpg|Some artists apply bovines having four udders in a [[/d/]]ifferent way to cowgirls.
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition races]]

[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Magic: The Gathering]][[Category:Dragonlance]][[Category:Monsters]][[Category:Greek Mythology]][[Category:Furry]][[Category:Beastmen]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Beasts Of Chaos]]

C. S. Lewis

2020-07-06T04:27:23Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:F12F:1B08:E3BB:8393: /* Legacy */

[[Image:CSLewis.JPG|thumb|Right|250px|The second patriarch of modern fantasy]]
'''Clive Staples Lewis''' (better known as "C. S.", "Jack" to his friends), not to be confused with [[C.S. Goto]] (how dare you confuse the two), nor with Lewis Carroll, was [[J. R. R. Tolkien]]'s good friend and another influential early modern fantasy writer. He was also an essayist and a theologian, one of the best of the last century, writing on subjects such as the relationship between science and religion in the modern age, the nature of the afterlife, and [http://scientificintegrity.blogspot.com/2010/04/religion-and-rocketry-by-cs-lewis.html arguing that the existence of aliens wouldn't clash with Christian beliefs.] Almost all of Lewis' works tend to come across as astoundingly well-thought out; many of his more devoted fans would argue that reading his work is like reading the Necronomicon, except it ''increases'' your sanity.

== His Fictional Works ==
*The Space Trilogy
**Out of the Silent Planet (1938)
**Perelandra (1972) (C.S Lewis' favorite book by his own admission)
**That Hideous Strength (1974) (AKA That Hideous Book, according to JRR Tolkien).
*The Chronicles of Narnia (1950-1956)
**The Magician's Nephew (actually written after ''The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe'', but its events take place first)
**The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
**The Horse and His Boy
**Prince Caspian
**The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
**The Silver Chair
**The Last Battle
*The Screwtape Letters
*The Pilgrim's Regress
*The Great Divorce
*Till We Have Faces

== Why He Was Influential ==
With the Narnia series, C. S. Lewis brought to the table the "everything in mythology but the kitchen sink" approach to fantasy writing. Norse Mythology, Greco-Roman Mythology, Judeo-Christian Theology, even modern folklore like Santa Claus got worked in. It's to his everlasting credit that he threw all these things into a blender and came up with something really awesome (even Santa Claus). Basically, if Tolkien gave modern fantasy [[RPG]]s [[Halfling]]s, [[Orc]]s and Dark Lords, Lewis gave it [[Centaurs]], [[Minotaur|Minotaurs]] (and potentially non-evil ones at that), [[Merfolk]], and talking animals. Narnia also included one of the earliest and most logically consistent examples of the "secret magical world parallel to our own" trope. And it is also an early form of the [[Isekai]] genre.

== On His Writing ==
[[Image:NarniaMap.jpg|thumb|Right|300px|A map of Narnia]]
When compared to his friend [[J.R.R. Tolkien]], Lewis was more of a philosopher and theologian than a world-builder. While Tolkien had beliefs and viewpoints which manifested in his writings, they usually came up as background details and a component of greater world building. Lewis, in contrast, wrote his works with the primary intent of arguing a point or presenting an idea rather than creating a fantasy world. This isn't to say that Lewis' writings have poor world-building, it just wasn't as much of a priority for him as having a clear and consistent theme. Although his writings tend to be far more overt with their religious message, it should be noted that they're not written in a [[Cult of the Redemption|judgemental fire-and-brimstone]] style, but more like a neutral-toned fable or philosophy lecture. The Narnia series might basically be about a fantasy land with lion Jesus and ice witch Satan, but it is generally more readable than [[The Lord of the Rings]], as Lewis didn't feel the need to include songs on every other page, or detail the name and lineage of every single person who participated in each battle.

He is also known for The Space Trilogy, which is arguably the earliest example of the subgenre Christian science fiction (an obscure but existent subgenre almost unheard of in mainstream media). The first book ('''Out of the Silent Planet''') is about a man named Ransom being kidnapped and taken to a planet (called Malacandra by its inhabitants, the one we call Mars) where he meets aliens, the angel in charge of Mars under God and learns more about the way the universe works and the situation of Earth. The second book (''Perelandra'') is about Ransom being taken to the planet Perelandra (the one we call Venus, which has a livable atmosphere due to Venus' actual deadly climate being unknown at the time) to stop a demon from recreating The Fall of Man with Venus' equivalent of Adam and Eve. In the third book (''That Hideous Strength'') the main characters Ransom and Mark have to work together against a scientific institute which is actually a front for sinister supernatural forces.

Fun fact: the Space Trilogy makes reference to what would have been the Time Travel trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien, except we never got anything more than unfinished manuscripts. Basically it would have been Tolkien's way of tying in the history of the Lord of the Rings with the known history and medieval legends of today's world. The closest thing we get is ''[[The Silmarillion]]''.

Also of note are Lewis' books about the afterlife, as they were unique... at the time. ''The Screwtape Letters'', for example, is a fictional series of letters written by a demon, Screwtape, to his nephew Wormwood, giving him advice on seducing people to the ways of [[Heresy|sin]] and [[Chaos|damnation]] using the man they're currently trying to tempt on as an example. [[Warp|Hell]] isn't depicted as a brutal prison as in Dante's Inferno, but more like a [[Administratum|diabolical bureaucracy]]; where [[Dark Eldar|demons consume human souls as we would consume wine]], and the more evil they are, the finer their vintage. Screwtape gives excellent advice on how to manipulate good intentions into bad deeds, and the book's unusual point of view lends itself to some creative ideas. In particular, the subplot where Wormwood and Screwtape subtly try to undermine the other by reporting them to Hell's [[Inquisition]] while maintaining correspondence is quite entertaining. Suffice to say, it's an excellent read for [[GM|GMs]] wishing to run a particularly [[Tzeentch|cunning or manipulative]] demon.

==Legacy==
C.S Lewis' works have found use in various fields, from the fantasy genre to works outside fiction such as Christian apologetics. The Chronicles of Narnia have seen numerous adaptations and served as inspiration for numerous other world fantasy stories.

His non-fictional works have also gained notoriety, such as his book "Mere Christianity" which explores Christian worldview from a philosophical perspective, but puts it in layman terms. Some of his arguments have been cited by theologians and Christian apologists of various stripes.

Some of his fictional works have even led to some "follow the leader" style copycats, such as a duology books by author Randy Alcorn intended as an "updated" version of The Screwtape Letters, these revolving around the not-Screwtape demon Foulgrin and his subordinate - instead of nephew - Squaltaint. Intended as a guide against modern evils, it is less sophisticated than Lewis' work and tarred undeserving or contentious targets with the same brush... like [[Dungeons & Dragons]] (Foulgrin claims Dungeons and Dragons is a potential gateway to practicing actual black magic).

== See Also ==
*[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCw-kYN6wWXWDyp_lB0wnlxw CS Lewis Doodle,] a YouTube channel which animates several of his essays and written works.

[[Category:Writers]]

C. S. Lewis

2020-07-06T04:22:19Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:F12F:1B08:E3BB:8393: /* On His Writing */

[[Image:CSLewis.JPG|thumb|Right|250px|The second patriarch of modern fantasy]]
'''Clive Staples Lewis''' (better known as "C. S.", "Jack" to his friends), not to be confused with [[C.S. Goto]] (how dare you confuse the two), nor with Lewis Carroll, was [[J. R. R. Tolkien]]'s good friend and another influential early modern fantasy writer. He was also an essayist and a theologian, one of the best of the last century, writing on subjects such as the relationship between science and religion in the modern age, the nature of the afterlife, and [http://scientificintegrity.blogspot.com/2010/04/religion-and-rocketry-by-cs-lewis.html arguing that the existence of aliens wouldn't clash with Christian beliefs.] Almost all of Lewis' works tend to come across as astoundingly well-thought out; many of his more devoted fans would argue that reading his work is like reading the Necronomicon, except it ''increases'' your sanity.

== His Fictional Works ==
*The Space Trilogy
**Out of the Silent Planet (1938)
**Perelandra (1972) (C.S Lewis' favorite book by his own admission)
**That Hideous Strength (1974) (AKA That Hideous Book, according to JRR Tolkien).
*The Chronicles of Narnia (1950-1956)
**The Magician's Nephew (actually written after ''The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe'', but its events take place first)
**The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
**The Horse and His Boy
**Prince Caspian
**The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
**The Silver Chair
**The Last Battle
*The Screwtape Letters
*The Pilgrim's Regress
*The Great Divorce
*Till We Have Faces

== Why He Was Influential ==
With the Narnia series, C. S. Lewis brought to the table the "everything in mythology but the kitchen sink" approach to fantasy writing. Norse Mythology, Greco-Roman Mythology, Judeo-Christian Theology, even modern folklore like Santa Claus got worked in. It's to his everlasting credit that he threw all these things into a blender and came up with something really awesome (even Santa Claus). Basically, if Tolkien gave modern fantasy [[RPG]]s [[Halfling]]s, [[Orc]]s and Dark Lords, Lewis gave it [[Centaurs]], [[Minotaur|Minotaurs]] (and potentially non-evil ones at that), [[Merfolk]], and talking animals. Narnia also included one of the earliest and most logically consistent examples of the "secret magical world parallel to our own" trope. And it is also an early form of the [[Isekai]] genre.

== On His Writing ==
[[Image:NarniaMap.jpg|thumb|Right|300px|A map of Narnia]]
When compared to his friend [[J.R.R. Tolkien]], Lewis was more of a philosopher and theologian than a world-builder. While Tolkien had beliefs and viewpoints which manifested in his writings, they usually came up as background details and a component of greater world building. Lewis, in contrast, wrote his works with the primary intent of arguing a point or presenting an idea rather than creating a fantasy world. This isn't to say that Lewis' writings have poor world-building, it just wasn't as much of a priority for him as having a clear and consistent theme. Although his writings tend to be far more overt with their religious message, it should be noted that they're not written in a [[Cult of the Redemption|judgemental fire-and-brimstone]] style, but more like a neutral-toned fable or philosophy lecture. The Narnia series might basically be about a fantasy land with lion Jesus and ice witch Satan, but it is generally more readable than [[The Lord of the Rings]], as Lewis didn't feel the need to include songs on every other page, or detail the name and lineage of every single person who participated in each battle.

He is also known for The Space Trilogy, which is arguably the earliest example of the subgenre Christian science fiction (an obscure but existent subgenre almost unheard of in mainstream media). The first book ('''Out of the Silent Planet''') is about a man named Ransom being kidnapped and taken to a planet (called Malacandra by its inhabitants, the one we call Mars) where he meets aliens, the angel in charge of Mars under God and learns more about the way the universe works and the situation of Earth. The second book (''Perelandra'') is about Ransom being taken to the planet Perelandra (the one we call Venus, which has a livable atmosphere due to Venus' actual deadly climate being unknown at the time) to stop a demon from recreating The Fall of Man with Venus' equivalent of Adam and Eve. In the third book (''That Hideous Strength'') the main characters Ransom and Mark have to work together against a scientific institute which is actually a front for sinister supernatural forces.

Fun fact: the Space Trilogy makes reference to what would have been the Time Travel trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien, except we never got anything more than unfinished manuscripts. Basically it would have been Tolkien's way of tying in the history of the Lord of the Rings with the known history and medieval legends of today's world. The closest thing we get is ''[[The Silmarillion]]''.

Also of note are Lewis' books about the afterlife, as they were unique... at the time. ''The Screwtape Letters'', for example, is a fictional series of letters written by a demon, Screwtape, to his nephew Wormwood, giving him advice on seducing people to the ways of [[Heresy|sin]] and [[Chaos|damnation]] using the man they're currently trying to tempt on as an example. [[Warp|Hell]] isn't depicted as a brutal prison as in Dante's Inferno, but more like a [[Administratum|diabolical bureaucracy]]; where [[Dark Eldar|demons consume human souls as we would consume wine]], and the more evil they are, the finer their vintage. Screwtape gives excellent advice on how to manipulate good intentions into bad deeds, and the book's unusual point of view lends itself to some creative ideas. In particular, the subplot where Wormwood and Screwtape subtly try to undermine the other by reporting them to Hell's [[Inquisition]] while maintaining correspondence is quite entertaining. Suffice to say, it's an excellent read for [[GM|GMs]] wishing to run a particularly [[Tzeentch|cunning or manipulative]] demon.

==Legacy==
C.S Lewis' works have found use in various fields, from the fantasy genre to works outside fiction such as Christian apologetics. The Chronicles of Narnia have seen numerous adaptations and served as inspiration for numerous other world fantasy stories.

His non-fictional works have also gained notoriety, such as his book "Mere Christianity" which explores Christian worldview from a philosophical perspective, but puts it in layman terms. Some of his arguments have been cited by theologians and Christian apologists of various stripes.

Some of his fictional works have even led to some "follow the leader" style copycats. One such is author Randy Alcorn has "updated" ''Screwtape'' in the book duology revolving around the not-Screwtape demon Foulgrin and his subordinate Squaltaint. Intended as a guide against modern evils, despite offering the human characters perspective that The Screwtape Letters lacked it is less sophisticated than Lewis' work and tarred undeserving or contentious targets with the same brush... like [[Dungeons & Dragons]] (Foulgrin claims Dungeons and Dragons is a gateway-drug type path to black magic).

== See Also ==
*[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCw-kYN6wWXWDyp_lB0wnlxw CS Lewis Doodle,] a YouTube channel which animates several of his essays and written works.

[[Category:Writers]]

Satanic Panic

2020-07-06T04:20:47Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:F12F:1B08:E3BB:8393: /* Not That BADD */

The '''Satanic Panic''' was an issue that afflicted the tabletop roleplaying community, centering itself on the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] fandom, from a period of roughly the end of the 1970s to the start of the 1990s. In a nutshell, it boils down to American moralfags accusing D&D of being a bad influence on their communities, and actively persecuting D&D players or anyone who could be mistaken as a D&D player.

==Global Context==
On the note of ''"American moralfags"'', one might be inclined to wonder why there was no analogous (or at least proportionate) moral panic about [[Warhammer]] or [[Warhammer 40,000]] in the UK, considering that it was miles above anything from contemporary D&D in terms of edgy and [[grimdark]]. It likely says something about the culture of the populations in question, or at the very least about the placid nature of the [[Ecclesiarchy|Church of England]]; anti-Catholic sentiments were common in the early 1900s of the ol' United States, so it had much less influence than the many Protestant sects there.

As more mainstream American Protestant sects began to incorporate liberal elements of Biblical interpretation and American culture as a whole grew more secular (to say nothing of things like the growing acceptance of Darwin's theory of evolution), other more tradition-minded sects declared a need to return to the "fundamentals" of Christian faith, based on literal interpretation of the Bible and a general rejection of secular culture. The goal of these 'fundamentalists' was to attain something of a throwback to the atmosphere of the early 19th century frontier, where anyone who fancied himself a preacher or prophet could set up shop - even if what he was preaching had very little traction on common sense, they'd gain a following as long as he had a glib tongue, enough charisma and some impressive sounding Bible verses (context not necessary due to the literal interpretation part). As they saw it, this was a return to the core traditional principles of the faith, free from un-Biblical modern thinking.

Following the debacle of the Scopes "Monkey" Trial in 1925, they had withdrawn into their own subculture, growing increasingly convinced that America had become godless and corrupt under the influence of the secularists. These sentiments only intensified further in the 60s, when the country was coming off the heels of [[Communism|the second Red Scare]], and growing acceptance of extramarital sex and feminism came to be perceived as a threat to "traditional family values".

By the 80s, a new generation of charismatic preachers such as Jerry Falwell and Billy Graham paved the way for these 'fundamentalists' to return to the public sphere. Thus began the rise of what is now known as "the religious right", as the fundamentalists quickly forged ties with like-minded politicians. As Presidents Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan were among the politicians in question, this meant they had a ''lot'' of influence in American society.

Britain, for what it's worth, only ever came as close to the panic in the mid-'80s through the efforts of one [[Inquisitor Greyfax|Mary Whitehouse]]'s campaign against "[[Slaanesh|video nasties]]" (i.e. films that were unclassified and thus could be rented by viewers as young as 10) - and very few people took her seriously even then, on top of the campaign [[Derp|sparking a profound interest in the otherwise unremarkable low-budget grindhouse/horror movie schlock that made up the majority of that list.]]

=='Ere We Go==
The roots of the whole mess began in 1979, when a troubled teenager named James Dallas Egbert III disappeared for a month after, reputedly, having earlier attempted to commit suicide in the utility tunnels under the campus of Michigan State University. Failing to off himself, he instead hid in a friend's house for a month. During that time, private investigator William Dear, hired by Egbert's parents, speculated to the media that he might have gotten lost during an attempt to use the utility tunnels for a [[Live Action Roleplaying]] session. The press, of course, ate this shit up, especially when Egbert went and blew his brains out in 1980.

This incident was later used by hack writers to produce the cheesy 1981 "horror" novels ''Hobgoblin'' and ''[[Mazes and Monsters]]'', both of which ran with the basic plotline of "roleplayer loses his mind because of roleplaying and ultimately ends up killing or nearly killing himself" - Mazes and Monsters even got a freaking film adaptation a year later, which you can read about on its own page.

This controversy was bad enough, but at the time the advent of real-but-mostly-harmless "Satanic" groups like the Church of Satan, as well as other cults that allegedly kidnapped and brainwashed children, gave Christian fundamentalists more fuel for their paranoia. At the same time, therapists and social workers were pushing for greater recognition of child sexual abuse as a serious crime, and in spite of their good intentions they developed a tendency to be overzealous in investigating possible abuse; this was itself exacerbated further by the growing awareness of post-traumatic stress disorder and the assumption that memories "recovered" via hypnosis were perfectly accurate representations of events (as opposed to being unintentionally created by the therapists and social workers themselves). The end result was a bunch of people who were convinced that the US was filled with cannibalistic, child-raping, and generally evil Satanic cults whose very existence was a threat to society.

This ended up getting linked to tabletop RPGs because of one particular asshole.

==Meet Patricia Pulling==
When her son Irving killed himself in 1982, Patricia Pulling claimed it was because he had been placed under a "D&D curse". Fuckwit that she was, she first tried to sue Irving's principal, and then [[TSR]] itself. Naturally, the legal system threw her out on her ear, noting that this made absolutely no sense and that the more logical answer had to do with pre-existing social and psychological problems, such as being bullied at school. But the damage was done in giving her a public appearance to begin with.

Inspired by the two-year legal battle, some fucktards in Canada produced the 1983 film "Skullduggery", which went a step beyond its equivalents from before; a roleplaying game explicitly identified as D&D ultimately turned a player into a serial-killing lunatic. ''Hobgoblin'' had titled itself after a fictitious Celtic-themed RPG, whilst ''Mazes & Monsters'' had used its same-name D&D pastiche, but here the real game was explicitly named, and thus came the shame.

Furthermore, by 1983 Mrs. Pulling was making connection with a bunch of fundy Christian groups, along with one Illinois psychiatrist by the name of Thomas Radecki, director of the National Coalition on Television Violence. Together, they founded Bothered About Dungeons & Dragons - a collection of religious bigots, bullies, jerks, clueless parents and assorted well-meaning but ignorant folks out to stop the depredation of "evil D&D". When Pulling's case was finally dismissed in 1984, BADD (a name that implies someone on the marketing team was phenomenally self-aware ''or'' unaware) went into full attack mode. Naturally, the infamous [[Dark Dungeons]] tract by [[Jack Chick]] was written during that same year.

It must be repeated that BADD '''lost''' every single attempt at litigation they ever attempted, but the credulous public ate up their bullshit and responded by shitting on D&D players everywhere. Teachers, parents, Christian pastors and even on occasion the police tried to stomp on those who liked to roleplay; they used everything from verbal and emotional harassment to seizing and destroying roleplaying materials, blocking RPG groups from using public spaces to socialize, sabotaging groups by planting false evidence of satanic rituals, and/or possession of drugs and/or pornographic materials before calling the police, and far worse.

==Reactions==
Amazingly, during the 80s, the gaming community seemed to actually just ''take'' this shit. For a significant portion of the 80s, the prevailing attitude was one of apologetic self-censorship, striving to prove that they were moral people by passive resistance. However, behind the scenes, angry players were going on the attack; writers began publishing investigations into the seedier side of many anti-D&D big names in [[Dragon Magazine]]. The academic credentials of Thomas Radecki and Patricia Pulling were debunked. Numerous links were forged with academics and government agencies studying youth suicide and academic publications on gaming were collated and made available to gamers wanting to investigate and/or debunk anti-RPG claims.

Gamers began to coordinate lobbying campaigns by phone, letters, public forums, the burgeoning internet and word of mouth as a means of informing the media, law enforcement, educators and local government about RPGs and their role in youth culture. Links were forged with the Skeptics' Society and other secularist organizations who had been independently questioning the existence of "Satanic ritual abuse". Articles were written in Skeptics Society journals and journals of psychology, and law enforcement officers and criminologists, such as Robert Hicks, began to debunk and expose the religious origins of anti-gaming claims and question their relevance in law enforcement initiatives. Perhaps the greatest blow to B.A.D.D, Patricia Pulling’s and Thomas Radecki’s credibility was the publication of Michael Stackpole’s “Pulling Report” in 1989, which severely criticized the ethics and methodology of anti-RPG campaigners, provided conclusive evidence that the suicide rate was '''lower''' amongst roleplayers, and was widely distributed amongst law enforcement, educational bodies, game manufacturers, gamers and government agencies.

The cultural zeitgeist changed: Thanks to years of work by D&D's defenders and other skeptics, the "Satanic Ritual Abuse" phenomenon being exposed as equal parts mass hysteria and con artistry, and the recurring failure of its attackers to actually win any legal battles or otherwise fail to avoid being debunked, the public grew out of it. Some people tried to keep the fire of it going - for example, in 1988, authorities chose to focus on Chris Pritchard's being a D&D player as the "reason" for his murdering his stepfather, rather than his long history of mutual antagonism and his heavy drug & alcohol use - but years of moral hysteria with no actual payoff, combined with a steady stream of actual intelligence and growing information access revealing that most of the supposed witnesses giving "testimony" to the abuse were remembering things that never happened and were also logically impossible (such as mass human sacrifices in an area where such activity would never have gone unnoticed), had robbed BADD and its fellow shitheads of any significant standing from anyone beyond fundamentalists and the paranoid. When, in 1989, an absolute fuck by the name of William Schnoebelen published a pair of articles that claimed D&D was a New Age Satanist front to steal people away from Christianity, most people looked at how he claimed D&D could actually summon real fiends and work real magic (and the fact he was being bankrolled by Jack Chick) and dismissed him for the crank he was.

==Not That BADD==
Ironically, the Satanic Panic had some rather positive effects on the RPG world:

* First and foremost, it was instrumental in forging a shared sense of community amongst roleplayers of all types; they might still bicker and argue over internal minutia, but now [[Gets shit done|they'll come together in the face of an outside threat]]. Prior to the Panic, RPGers had just been hobbyists; coming together for support under the Panic's suffocating blanket made them a culture in their own right.

* Secondly, it established roots between roleplayers and alternative religious subcultures. Whether this is a ''necessarily'' a good thing depends obviously on one's perspective (plenty of D&D players would be happy ''not'' to be associated with "I shall play for you the songs of my people" style neo-Paganism.) Though the sentiment is waning now, during the late 80s and the 90s, the roleplaying community became extremely critical of Christianity, if not outright hostile. The years in which the most public face of most conservative Christian churches were highly critical of the largely innocuous pasttime of roleplaying had bred a strong resentment of Christianity into the RPG community [[Derp|despite the fact that one of the game's two co-inventors, Gary Gygax, was Christian himself]] - albeit of a liberal persuasion, and a few other [[Tolkien|foundational]] [[CS Lewis|authors]] of the fantay genre were also Christian (point is, it's a big tent, for both groups, at least in mainstream society). Another highly-influential D&D contributor was Tracy Hickman, a devout Mormon and sometime missionary. The only good things to come out of this are an increase in fact-checking among all sides involved and a willingness to branch out in story elements, which led to the rise of games franchises like [[Call of Cthulhu]] in the 80s and [[World of Darkness]] in the 90s.

==The Satanic Panic in the Modern Era==
There are still some lingering attempts to tap into this long-dead phenomena - in 2013, several news articles claimed that in Israel, playing D&D was actually frowned upon by the Israeli Defence Force. Almost immediately, reporters who'd done ''actual'' research reported that this was complete bullshit; D&D is hugely popular in Israel, to the point that a good DM can actually get paid money for being willing to run peoples' games. This situation in the IDF was probably confined to the [[House Cawdor|certain type of Jewish fundamentalist who objects to pictures of women being published in newspapers]]. Fundamentalists, who by their very nature assume that any form of media not exclusively about praising Jesus must be a tool of the devil, still sometimes make the same old complaints under the pretense that "[[Illuminati|the Satanists are powerful enough to hide the evidence]]" in-between bouts of attacking other boogeymen, but nobody listens outside of their own echo chambers for the most part. While the panic has never truly stopped since its inception, the major driving forces have long since subsided in the eyes of the public, and the more contemporary forms of media are more likely to be targeted by fundies nowadays due to their greater prevalence in society - most notably [[/v/|video games]], but TV and movies remain a favored punching bag as well.

On an amusing note, Thomas Radecki would later be arrested in 2013 and sentenced for 11-22 years in prison for over-prescribing addictive opioids through a crooked rehab program, dealing in proceeds of unlawful activity, and trading said opioids to 13 different female patients in exchange for sex. As is the trend elsewhere, it figures that the loudest moral guardians usually have a few skeletons in their closets.

This was the Satanic Panic. Good fucking riddance, but it's a shame that it won't stay dead.

==But Since It's Still Here...==
Are you sitting here wondering about the fact that, despite all the grief it's given the hobby, there's not a shred of info detailing how other tabletop publishers themselves <s>lampooned</s> creatively handled the entire debacle? Do you find yourself thinking "There's absolutely no fucking way Dungeons and Dragons was the only game ever targeted"? [[Lulz|Just want some more fundie shenanigans to laugh at?]] Look no further, nondescript reader, for [[Gets shit done|we hath delivered]]!

Below is a list of other, smaller moral panic-style controversies; we're sticking primarily to tabletop because, besides being a /tg/-based wiki, if we had to cover every time any piece of new media got tarred as Satanic (even if it never so much brushed the topic of magic), it'd take an entire year just to get one-sixth of it done.

*[[Yu-Gi-Oh]] and [[Magic: The Gathering]] are obvious candidates vis a vis "summoning otherwordly beings" and "controlling supernatural beasts", the former in particular since it was marketed towards children, on top of the fact that the former was made by ''foreigners''. As far as "understandable motives easily abused for zealotry", marketing questionable material towards kids is pretty high on the Fundie Moral Outrage Shitlist™, since that definition is extended to almost fucking ''everything.'' See also: [[Pokemon]], [[Harry Potter]], etc.
**Most of the outrage over Pokemon was over ghosts, psychics, and frequent use of the word “evolution” (which was only chosen because the word sounded cool to the Japanese). Incidentally, at the peak of Pokemon's own hysteria, the Catholic Church actually spoke in defense of the games and the first movie! The church has done this increasingly often over the years, even labeling formerly controversial episodes of shows like [[Star Trek]], The Simpsons, and Futurama that dealt with religion as positive depictions of the exploration of faith.
*Vincent Baker's [[kill puppies for satan]] is a parody of early '00's "[[Grimderp|darker and]] [[Edgy|edgier]] [[White Wolf|gaming]]", but also reads like the logical conclusion of what a tabletop game envisioned by the above moral guardians would actually be like, and [http://archive.fo/zIARH garnered the appropriate outrage to boot.]
*[[Mage: The Ascension]]'s Technocracy invokes this, encouraging such panics in order to turn public sentiment against the Traditions; the idea is that, by staining them as [[Illuminati|a worldwide conspiracy bent on conversion and indoctrination]], ''their'' worldwide conspiracy bent on conversion and indoctrination [[Just As Planned|can thus proceed unopposed]].
*Speaking of White Wolf yet again, their Classic [[World of Darkness]] games such as ''[[Vampire: The Masquerade]]'' and ''[[Werewolf: The Apocalypse]]'' has the in-universe [[Black Dog Game Factory]], a subsidiary of Pentex and tongue-in-cheek riff on themselves and other tabletop publishers. Black Dog uses Satanic Panic-style imagery to portray its competition's playerbases as self-hating, self-harming turbonerds who are out of touch with reality and thus no grasp of The Real Issues™, which sounds not unlike the "srs bsns" manner in which some of the books and many of the players approach its themes.
*The [[Dark Matter]] setting has the Final Church, a faction which draws directly from the sort of cults that were believed to influence tabletop games; their supplement's disclaimer drives home the point, [[TL;DR|in no uncertain terms]], that such entities are entirely fictional.
*[[RIFTS]] books all begin with a disclaimer warning that it contains violence, war, magic, and the supernatural - usually juxtaposed (and probably deliberately so) against an image that shows at least one of those things, or more commonly all four. Initially done as a response to the era's anti-RPG hysteria, it's mostly become a sort of traditional relic unique to the series.

[[Category:History]][[Category:Roleplaying]]

Satanic Panic

2020-07-06T04:20:36Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:F12F:1B08:E3BB:8393: /* Not That BADD */

The '''Satanic Panic''' was an issue that afflicted the tabletop roleplaying community, centering itself on the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] fandom, from a period of roughly the end of the 1970s to the start of the 1990s. In a nutshell, it boils down to American moralfags accusing D&D of being a bad influence on their communities, and actively persecuting D&D players or anyone who could be mistaken as a D&D player.

==Global Context==
On the note of ''"American moralfags"'', one might be inclined to wonder why there was no analogous (or at least proportionate) moral panic about [[Warhammer]] or [[Warhammer 40,000]] in the UK, considering that it was miles above anything from contemporary D&D in terms of edgy and [[grimdark]]. It likely says something about the culture of the populations in question, or at the very least about the placid nature of the [[Ecclesiarchy|Church of England]]; anti-Catholic sentiments were common in the early 1900s of the ol' United States, so it had much less influence than the many Protestant sects there.

As more mainstream American Protestant sects began to incorporate liberal elements of Biblical interpretation and American culture as a whole grew more secular (to say nothing of things like the growing acceptance of Darwin's theory of evolution), other more tradition-minded sects declared a need to return to the "fundamentals" of Christian faith, based on literal interpretation of the Bible and a general rejection of secular culture. The goal of these 'fundamentalists' was to attain something of a throwback to the atmosphere of the early 19th century frontier, where anyone who fancied himself a preacher or prophet could set up shop - even if what he was preaching had very little traction on common sense, they'd gain a following as long as he had a glib tongue, enough charisma and some impressive sounding Bible verses (context not necessary due to the literal interpretation part). As they saw it, this was a return to the core traditional principles of the faith, free from un-Biblical modern thinking.

Following the debacle of the Scopes "Monkey" Trial in 1925, they had withdrawn into their own subculture, growing increasingly convinced that America had become godless and corrupt under the influence of the secularists. These sentiments only intensified further in the 60s, when the country was coming off the heels of [[Communism|the second Red Scare]], and growing acceptance of extramarital sex and feminism came to be perceived as a threat to "traditional family values".

By the 80s, a new generation of charismatic preachers such as Jerry Falwell and Billy Graham paved the way for these 'fundamentalists' to return to the public sphere. Thus began the rise of what is now known as "the religious right", as the fundamentalists quickly forged ties with like-minded politicians. As Presidents Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan were among the politicians in question, this meant they had a ''lot'' of influence in American society.

Britain, for what it's worth, only ever came as close to the panic in the mid-'80s through the efforts of one [[Inquisitor Greyfax|Mary Whitehouse]]'s campaign against "[[Slaanesh|video nasties]]" (i.e. films that were unclassified and thus could be rented by viewers as young as 10) - and very few people took her seriously even then, on top of the campaign [[Derp|sparking a profound interest in the otherwise unremarkable low-budget grindhouse/horror movie schlock that made up the majority of that list.]]

=='Ere We Go==
The roots of the whole mess began in 1979, when a troubled teenager named James Dallas Egbert III disappeared for a month after, reputedly, having earlier attempted to commit suicide in the utility tunnels under the campus of Michigan State University. Failing to off himself, he instead hid in a friend's house for a month. During that time, private investigator William Dear, hired by Egbert's parents, speculated to the media that he might have gotten lost during an attempt to use the utility tunnels for a [[Live Action Roleplaying]] session. The press, of course, ate this shit up, especially when Egbert went and blew his brains out in 1980.

This incident was later used by hack writers to produce the cheesy 1981 "horror" novels ''Hobgoblin'' and ''[[Mazes and Monsters]]'', both of which ran with the basic plotline of "roleplayer loses his mind because of roleplaying and ultimately ends up killing or nearly killing himself" - Mazes and Monsters even got a freaking film adaptation a year later, which you can read about on its own page.

This controversy was bad enough, but at the time the advent of real-but-mostly-harmless "Satanic" groups like the Church of Satan, as well as other cults that allegedly kidnapped and brainwashed children, gave Christian fundamentalists more fuel for their paranoia. At the same time, therapists and social workers were pushing for greater recognition of child sexual abuse as a serious crime, and in spite of their good intentions they developed a tendency to be overzealous in investigating possible abuse; this was itself exacerbated further by the growing awareness of post-traumatic stress disorder and the assumption that memories "recovered" via hypnosis were perfectly accurate representations of events (as opposed to being unintentionally created by the therapists and social workers themselves). The end result was a bunch of people who were convinced that the US was filled with cannibalistic, child-raping, and generally evil Satanic cults whose very existence was a threat to society.

This ended up getting linked to tabletop RPGs because of one particular asshole.

==Meet Patricia Pulling==
When her son Irving killed himself in 1982, Patricia Pulling claimed it was because he had been placed under a "D&D curse". Fuckwit that she was, she first tried to sue Irving's principal, and then [[TSR]] itself. Naturally, the legal system threw her out on her ear, noting that this made absolutely no sense and that the more logical answer had to do with pre-existing social and psychological problems, such as being bullied at school. But the damage was done in giving her a public appearance to begin with.

Inspired by the two-year legal battle, some fucktards in Canada produced the 1983 film "Skullduggery", which went a step beyond its equivalents from before; a roleplaying game explicitly identified as D&D ultimately turned a player into a serial-killing lunatic. ''Hobgoblin'' had titled itself after a fictitious Celtic-themed RPG, whilst ''Mazes & Monsters'' had used its same-name D&D pastiche, but here the real game was explicitly named, and thus came the shame.

Furthermore, by 1983 Mrs. Pulling was making connection with a bunch of fundy Christian groups, along with one Illinois psychiatrist by the name of Thomas Radecki, director of the National Coalition on Television Violence. Together, they founded Bothered About Dungeons & Dragons - a collection of religious bigots, bullies, jerks, clueless parents and assorted well-meaning but ignorant folks out to stop the depredation of "evil D&D". When Pulling's case was finally dismissed in 1984, BADD (a name that implies someone on the marketing team was phenomenally self-aware ''or'' unaware) went into full attack mode. Naturally, the infamous [[Dark Dungeons]] tract by [[Jack Chick]] was written during that same year.

It must be repeated that BADD '''lost''' every single attempt at litigation they ever attempted, but the credulous public ate up their bullshit and responded by shitting on D&D players everywhere. Teachers, parents, Christian pastors and even on occasion the police tried to stomp on those who liked to roleplay; they used everything from verbal and emotional harassment to seizing and destroying roleplaying materials, blocking RPG groups from using public spaces to socialize, sabotaging groups by planting false evidence of satanic rituals, and/or possession of drugs and/or pornographic materials before calling the police, and far worse.

==Reactions==
Amazingly, during the 80s, the gaming community seemed to actually just ''take'' this shit. For a significant portion of the 80s, the prevailing attitude was one of apologetic self-censorship, striving to prove that they were moral people by passive resistance. However, behind the scenes, angry players were going on the attack; writers began publishing investigations into the seedier side of many anti-D&D big names in [[Dragon Magazine]]. The academic credentials of Thomas Radecki and Patricia Pulling were debunked. Numerous links were forged with academics and government agencies studying youth suicide and academic publications on gaming were collated and made available to gamers wanting to investigate and/or debunk anti-RPG claims.

Gamers began to coordinate lobbying campaigns by phone, letters, public forums, the burgeoning internet and word of mouth as a means of informing the media, law enforcement, educators and local government about RPGs and their role in youth culture. Links were forged with the Skeptics' Society and other secularist organizations who had been independently questioning the existence of "Satanic ritual abuse". Articles were written in Skeptics Society journals and journals of psychology, and law enforcement officers and criminologists, such as Robert Hicks, began to debunk and expose the religious origins of anti-gaming claims and question their relevance in law enforcement initiatives. Perhaps the greatest blow to B.A.D.D, Patricia Pulling’s and Thomas Radecki’s credibility was the publication of Michael Stackpole’s “Pulling Report” in 1989, which severely criticized the ethics and methodology of anti-RPG campaigners, provided conclusive evidence that the suicide rate was '''lower''' amongst roleplayers, and was widely distributed amongst law enforcement, educational bodies, game manufacturers, gamers and government agencies.

The cultural zeitgeist changed: Thanks to years of work by D&D's defenders and other skeptics, the "Satanic Ritual Abuse" phenomenon being exposed as equal parts mass hysteria and con artistry, and the recurring failure of its attackers to actually win any legal battles or otherwise fail to avoid being debunked, the public grew out of it. Some people tried to keep the fire of it going - for example, in 1988, authorities chose to focus on Chris Pritchard's being a D&D player as the "reason" for his murdering his stepfather, rather than his long history of mutual antagonism and his heavy drug & alcohol use - but years of moral hysteria with no actual payoff, combined with a steady stream of actual intelligence and growing information access revealing that most of the supposed witnesses giving "testimony" to the abuse were remembering things that never happened and were also logically impossible (such as mass human sacrifices in an area where such activity would never have gone unnoticed), had robbed BADD and its fellow shitheads of any significant standing from anyone beyond fundamentalists and the paranoid. When, in 1989, an absolute fuck by the name of William Schnoebelen published a pair of articles that claimed D&D was a New Age Satanist front to steal people away from Christianity, most people looked at how he claimed D&D could actually summon real fiends and work real magic (and the fact he was being bankrolled by Jack Chick) and dismissed him for the crank he was.

==Not That BADD==
Ironically, the Satanic Panic had some rather positive effects on the RPG world:

* First and foremost, it was instrumental in forging a shared sense of community amongst roleplayers of all types; they might still bicker and argue over internal minutia, but now [[Gets shit done|they'll come together in the face of an outside threat]]. Prior to the Panic, RPGers had just been hobbyists; coming together for support under the Panic's suffocating blanket made them a culture in their own right.

* Secondly, it established roots between roleplayers and alternative religious subcultures. Whether this is a ''necessarily'' a good thing depends obviously on one's perspective (plenty of D&D players would be happy ''not'' to be associated with "I shall play for you the songs of my people" style neo-Paganism.) Though the sentiment is waning now, during the late 80s and the 90s, the roleplaying community became extremely critical of Christianity, if not outright hostile. The years in which the most public face of most conservative Christian churches were highly critical of the largely innocuous pasttime of roleplaying had bred a strong resentment of Christianity into the RPG community [[Derp|despite the fact that one of the game's two co-inventors, Gary Gygax, was Christian himself]] - albeit of a liberal persuasion, and a few other [[Tolkien|foundational]] [[C.S Lewis|authors]] of the fantay genre were also Christian (point is, it's a big tent, for both groups, at least in mainstream society). Another highly-influential D&D contributor was Tracy Hickman, a devout Mormon and sometime missionary. The only good things to come out of this are an increase in fact-checking among all sides involved and a willingness to branch out in story elements, which led to the rise of games franchises like [[Call of Cthulhu]] in the 80s and [[World of Darkness]] in the 90s.

==The Satanic Panic in the Modern Era==
There are still some lingering attempts to tap into this long-dead phenomena - in 2013, several news articles claimed that in Israel, playing D&D was actually frowned upon by the Israeli Defence Force. Almost immediately, reporters who'd done ''actual'' research reported that this was complete bullshit; D&D is hugely popular in Israel, to the point that a good DM can actually get paid money for being willing to run peoples' games. This situation in the IDF was probably confined to the [[House Cawdor|certain type of Jewish fundamentalist who objects to pictures of women being published in newspapers]]. Fundamentalists, who by their very nature assume that any form of media not exclusively about praising Jesus must be a tool of the devil, still sometimes make the same old complaints under the pretense that "[[Illuminati|the Satanists are powerful enough to hide the evidence]]" in-between bouts of attacking other boogeymen, but nobody listens outside of their own echo chambers for the most part. While the panic has never truly stopped since its inception, the major driving forces have long since subsided in the eyes of the public, and the more contemporary forms of media are more likely to be targeted by fundies nowadays due to their greater prevalence in society - most notably [[/v/|video games]], but TV and movies remain a favored punching bag as well.

On an amusing note, Thomas Radecki would later be arrested in 2013 and sentenced for 11-22 years in prison for over-prescribing addictive opioids through a crooked rehab program, dealing in proceeds of unlawful activity, and trading said opioids to 13 different female patients in exchange for sex. As is the trend elsewhere, it figures that the loudest moral guardians usually have a few skeletons in their closets.

This was the Satanic Panic. Good fucking riddance, but it's a shame that it won't stay dead.

==But Since It's Still Here...==
Are you sitting here wondering about the fact that, despite all the grief it's given the hobby, there's not a shred of info detailing how other tabletop publishers themselves <s>lampooned</s> creatively handled the entire debacle? Do you find yourself thinking "There's absolutely no fucking way Dungeons and Dragons was the only game ever targeted"? [[Lulz|Just want some more fundie shenanigans to laugh at?]] Look no further, nondescript reader, for [[Gets shit done|we hath delivered]]!

Below is a list of other, smaller moral panic-style controversies; we're sticking primarily to tabletop because, besides being a /tg/-based wiki, if we had to cover every time any piece of new media got tarred as Satanic (even if it never so much brushed the topic of magic), it'd take an entire year just to get one-sixth of it done.

*[[Yu-Gi-Oh]] and [[Magic: The Gathering]] are obvious candidates vis a vis "summoning otherwordly beings" and "controlling supernatural beasts", the former in particular since it was marketed towards children, on top of the fact that the former was made by ''foreigners''. As far as "understandable motives easily abused for zealotry", marketing questionable material towards kids is pretty high on the Fundie Moral Outrage Shitlist™, since that definition is extended to almost fucking ''everything.'' See also: [[Pokemon]], [[Harry Potter]], etc.
**Most of the outrage over Pokemon was over ghosts, psychics, and frequent use of the word “evolution” (which was only chosen because the word sounded cool to the Japanese). Incidentally, at the peak of Pokemon's own hysteria, the Catholic Church actually spoke in defense of the games and the first movie! The church has done this increasingly often over the years, even labeling formerly controversial episodes of shows like [[Star Trek]], The Simpsons, and Futurama that dealt with religion as positive depictions of the exploration of faith.
*Vincent Baker's [[kill puppies for satan]] is a parody of early '00's "[[Grimderp|darker and]] [[Edgy|edgier]] [[White Wolf|gaming]]", but also reads like the logical conclusion of what a tabletop game envisioned by the above moral guardians would actually be like, and [http://archive.fo/zIARH garnered the appropriate outrage to boot.]
*[[Mage: The Ascension]]'s Technocracy invokes this, encouraging such panics in order to turn public sentiment against the Traditions; the idea is that, by staining them as [[Illuminati|a worldwide conspiracy bent on conversion and indoctrination]], ''their'' worldwide conspiracy bent on conversion and indoctrination [[Just As Planned|can thus proceed unopposed]].
*Speaking of White Wolf yet again, their Classic [[World of Darkness]] games such as ''[[Vampire: The Masquerade]]'' and ''[[Werewolf: The Apocalypse]]'' has the in-universe [[Black Dog Game Factory]], a subsidiary of Pentex and tongue-in-cheek riff on themselves and other tabletop publishers. Black Dog uses Satanic Panic-style imagery to portray its competition's playerbases as self-hating, self-harming turbonerds who are out of touch with reality and thus no grasp of The Real Issues™, which sounds not unlike the "srs bsns" manner in which some of the books and many of the players approach its themes.
*The [[Dark Matter]] setting has the Final Church, a faction which draws directly from the sort of cults that were believed to influence tabletop games; their supplement's disclaimer drives home the point, [[TL;DR|in no uncertain terms]], that such entities are entirely fictional.
*[[RIFTS]] books all begin with a disclaimer warning that it contains violence, war, magic, and the supernatural - usually juxtaposed (and probably deliberately so) against an image that shows at least one of those things, or more commonly all four. Initially done as a response to the era's anti-RPG hysteria, it's mostly become a sort of traditional relic unique to the series.

[[Category:History]][[Category:Roleplaying]]

Chick Tracts

2020-07-06T03:50:54Z

2406:3400:20F:FFC0:F12F:1B08:E3BB:8393:

{{Fail}}

[[Image:0046_01.jpg|thumb|right|Ah, Jack Chick. The legend. ''In life and in death, a failure throughout.'']]

'''Chick Tracts''' are a huge group of blatant moralfagging comics/stories done by Jack Chick Ministries, attempting to convince younger readers that: evolution is a lie; rock and roll is the tool of the Devil; the Catholic Church created Islam, Communism, Nazism and the Freemasons, (only <s>two</s> one of whom didn't turn on them); the Catholic Church is a vile conspiracy created by pagans; and that celebrating Halloween makes you a satanist. They are in essence the [[Satanic Panic]] in comic form.

As the person responsible for Chick Tracts and the fact that they're steaming piles of ignorance and batshit-lunacy ''even by the standards of religious fundamentalists'', Jack Chick only avoided being a parody of American Christianity by the unfortunate fact that he was a real guy and the aformentioned fundamentalists denouncing him. He was a savage anti-Catholic, an Islamaphobe, a homophobe, an anti-Semite, an anti-Indian... anti-''almost''-everything. (Of note is that his longtime collaborator Fred Carter was black. And Chick's second marriage was interracial, and lasted until his death.) The only reason that Chick Tracts are notable on [[/tg/]] are two very specific reasons:

#They have a lengthy segment explaining how [[Dungeons and Dragons]] is [[Dark Dungeons|a gateway towards Satanism and Witchcraft]].
#They are ''so'' egregiously stupid that they've spawned dozens of instant [[meme]]s, including [http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Exterminatus.jpg this].

==History==
Jack Thomas Chick (April 13, 1924 - October 23, 2016) was an American publisher, writer and comic book artist of evangelical Christian tracts and comic books. He has been called the most published comic book author in the world. Yes, even beyond [[/co/|DC]] with its rodeo clown characters and prostitutes.

Chick was born deep in Los Angeles, California. The son of a commercial artist and his eldest at that, his family moved to Alabama, wherein Whacky Jacky joined the high school drama club and was most un-Christian - so much so, that the true Christians who abode there avoided him. In his own words, he claimed to be "the last man on Earth who would accept Christ." Some believe that he went from being a complete dickhead who hates everyone who then "converted" to Christianity just so he could be a complete dickhead to everyone else while using his selected religion as an excuse to insult everything around him; this is most likely true, as only a total fucktard like Jack would engage in such levels of base contrarianism. But we're getting ahead of ourselves.

After his graduation, Chick continued his drama education at the Pasadena Playhouse School of Theater on a two-year scholarship. In February 1943, and still irreligious, our man was drafted as a private in the U.S. Army. He served for three years in the Pacific theater, doing cryptography, in New Guinea, Australia, the Philippines and Japan; he was honorably discharged as a Sergeant. Chick credits his time overseas with inspiring him to translate his tracts into many different languages and says he has "a special burden for missions and missionaries". Afterwards, he returned to 'Murka.

It was here Jack Chick converted to Christianity... by listening to a radio show. John Todd's show, at that: drug-addicted-former-occultist-conspiracy-theorist-sexual-predator, John Todd. Yes, Jack Chick did not convert by reading the Bible, or searching his soul, longing for spiritual sustenance, nor did he do so for the lulz. He listened to John Todd's fucking radio show.

If you're wondering why Chick's beliefs are so far out there that even many fundamentalists go "wait... what?", it may be because he spent a little too much time listening to Todd's show. Truly a credible source on the evils of D&D, Christian Rock and Catholicism.

In 2005, a fine thing called a heart attack struck at Chick, but failed to kill him. But it is no less a hero for trying. Shortly thereafter, he had a triple coronary artery bypass. He then returned to seclusion and <s>awaits death</s> finally kicked the bucket on October 23, 2016. One less total paranoid incompetent loony now roams the earth. However, his legacy has been so entrenched that his work will surely outlive him as his ghost-artists and writers continue to carry up his absurd views for the foreseeable future. Now, we don't claim to know what God does with folks who try to serve them but fail so spectacularly at it, but we like to imagine that Jack stood before God, cowering as the big G yells at him: "How dare you presume to speak for me! I have a mind to create a hell just to throw YOU in, Jack. You made me look like some deranged, psychopathic, egomaniacal, self centered, vain bastard... GUARDS!!! GUARDS get in here, NOW!!!!!"

==So, why is this guy so hated?==
Perhaps because, besides being the Satanic Panic reincarnated into a single man, he was woefully misinformed on several issues. Allow us to list his more general offenses against religion, rationality, good taste and tabletop.

*He was violently intolerant of all religions except his own. That includes but is not limited to: Islam, Judaism and ALL FORMS OF CHRISTIANITY THAT DO NOT FIT HIS PERSONAL VIEW. He had a special hatred of Roman Catholics, who he was sure were Satan's agents on Earth, and one of his tracts was (I kid you not) [http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0074/0074_01.asp THE DEATH COOKIE]. We concede that, in one of his last comics, he portrayed Eastern Orthodox Christians in a positive light. But. First, many would argue it is much more creepy and threatening when a batshit insane person likes you rather than hates you (especially when they involve you in one of their stupid and illogical conspiracy theories, which he, of course, did). Second, most likely he was simply too uneducated about Orthodoxy, because if he would realize that Orthodox are quite similar to Catholics in absolute majority of things, he might've had... [[RAGE|a different opinion...]]
**He has this insane obsession with the King James version of the Bible, an edition that's been considered inaccurate and outdated in translation ''*for centuries*'' when there have been better versions available. There's a sizable group of rather nutty Christians who live and die by the KJV translation, but none are anywhere near so delusional as Jack, who considered the newer translations a satanic plot to mislead Christians into hell.
**Non-Christians were invariably portrayed as either completely off their meds or pants-on-head retarded (usually leading to one of them asking "durr wuts a jesus" at some point); while Christians are invariably portrayed as smug, self-righteous twats. Thus Mr Chick managed to piss off all sides.
*He claimed that Dungeons and Dragons is a gateway to Satan, [[Satanic Panic|just like everyone else on that bandwagon]]. Nevermind the fact that Gygax himself was a Christian... sort of. Gygax was a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses, and covering whether it's a Christian denomination or its own religion is beyond this wiki's specific call of duty (he later left JW and his later interviews implied that he became mainline Christian, so there's that). Safe to say, there's a reason D&D angels were the good guys and demons/devils/dameons/etc. were evil - a far cry from outright ''Satanism'' (not that it would likely have made a difference to Jack, of course). He had a similar view about [[Lord of the Rings]] and [[Harry Potter]] (probably due to [[Tolkien]] being a Catholic). And ''*that*'' is why he drew /tg/'s ire, attacking fantasy fiction that was often based on Christianity itself; it 'helped' that said works were produced by some of their favorite authors. Sadly, we have no knowledge on his opinions about Narnia, written by one of the most charismatic and ''unambiguously'' Christian authors, [[C. S. Lewis]]. We speculate that Chick only had frothing hatred for it however, owing to his inability to read into anything that isn't the KJV Bible.
*He outlived [[Gary Gygax]] on both sides, the dingleberry on this steaming sundae.
*His artwork is shitty. Probably why he let Fred Carter do a lot of the work; his style was more realistic.

For /tg/, Jack Chick earns his Immortality in the Sphere of Derp for his Dark Dungeons comic strip, which is a vicious smorgasboard of unrivaled lulz that happens to be a metaphor for how Dungeons and Dragons is gateway to the Unholy. Due to the sheer audacity of this man daring to heap shame upon the favorite pastime of neckbeards, they have banded together unleash their copious rage and DERP upon him. Though they are justified in this, srsly, did you read the above?

However, any parodies of his comics espousing what is considered to be a more 'enlightened' point of view are often loaded with just as much FAIL and hypocrisy as the original tracts.

==Quotes==
* Ms. Frost: "Okay, Wizard, cast your spell!"
* Debbie: "Okay, Dungeon Master. My spell of light blinds the monster."
* Frost: "The thief, Black Leaf, did not find the poison trap, and I [[Railroad|declare her dead.]]"
* Marcie: '''"NO, NOT BLACK LEAF! NO, NO! I'M GOING TO DIE! Please don't make me quit the game! Somebody save me! You can't do this!"'''
* Frost: "Marcie, get out of here. '''YOU'RE DEAD!''' [[What|<u>You don't exist any more</u>.]]"
* Mrs Baxter: "Don't make the mistake of believing that good people go to heaven and bad people got to hell. That's a lie straight from the Devil." (The Tract this comes from concerns a little kid getting hit by a car on Halloween night after he went to a Haunted House. Guess where he went? Go on, guess.)

==See Also==
*[[Dark Dungeons]]
*[http://humpin.org/mst3kdd/ The righteous Mystery Science Theater 3000 parody of Dark Dungeons!]
*[http://godlesscomics.com/comics The response if you're an atheist and/or annoyed.]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=subQrEPKytA A "measured" review of the film.]

[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]][[Category:FAIL]]