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Roboute Guilliman

2017-12-11T14:46:20Z

2600:1006:B10C:1CE2:82E:577B:6477:C106: /* 41st millennium / Gathering Storm */

[[File:Robute_Guilliman.jpg|450px|thumb|right|I'm surrounded by plebeians.]]
{{Topquote|[[Horus|Leadership is not magnetic personality]], [[Fulgrim|that can just as well be a glib tongue]]. [[Vulkan|It is not "making friends ]][[Lorgar|and influencing people]]", that is flattery. Leadership is lifting a person's vision to higher sights, the raising of a person's performance to a higher standard, the building of a personality beyond its normal limitations.|Peter F. Drucker}}

{{Topquote|Si vis pacem, para bellum. (If you want peace, prepare for war.)|Publius Flavius Vegetius Renatus}}

{{Topquote|The storm rages. The sleeper awakes. Hope rises in the fire of war.|Our spiritual liege has returned!}}

'''Roboute Guilliman''' ("Row-BOOT-ay" "GILL-uh-man" ɹə<font color=gold>ʊ</font>-buːt-eɪ ɡɪl-ə-mæn), '''"Lord of Ultramar"''', is the [[Primarch]] of the [[Ultramarines]] and quite possibly the single most [[skub]]-inspiring person in the setting, thanks to him being depicted as a total ungodly [[Mary Sue]] in retrospective sources, but being depicted as quite likable and level headed in others. The dislike for him is often based more around his legacy and the reception (or lack there of) of a [[Codex Astartes|certain infamous book]], although he did have a cold, imperious streak to his personality that occasionally caused friction between his brothers and himself, most famously being partially responsible for being one of the factors that turned [[Lorgar]] to [[Chaos]], in addition to [[Alpharius]]. [[Omegon|Maybe]]. It's [[Iron Snakes|hard to tell]].

Apparently he and [[Sigmar]] are behind the sudden surge of good policies done by [[Games Workshop|GeeDubs]].

==History==
===Early Life===
Unlike most worlds that the other Primarchs landed on, [[Macragge]] was a pretty great place to live. Guilliman was found by the planet's ruler and some of his retinue while they were on a hunting trip. Konor Guilliman, the man who took him in, was a pretty cool dude, he advocated helping the common man and pushed for reforms that would make the world a meritocracy. These were a major influence on Roboute and stayed with him throughout his life. It also says something that Konor's seneschal, Tarasha Euten, was effectively Guilliman's surrogate mother, making him one of the only Primarchs to have a conventional family, [[Butthurt|a fact that twisted Konrad Curze's nipples to no end (which goes double when she tells him to go fuck himself)]].

One day while Roboute was coming back after fighting the Macragge's version of the Gauls, he found his home in disarray. Konor had just become the victim of some political treachery, Ancient Roman-style. His co-ruler, Gallan, was pissed off at all these reforms Konor pushed through so he decided to send his army to rape, pillage and burn. Seeing his once peaceful home burning with neighbors looting and killing each other left the second major impact on Roboute and the most likely source of why he was always so [[Butthurt|anal]] about keeping things in order- the alternative in his eyes was total anarchy.

After [[rip and tear|gutting]] Gallan and restoring order, Roboute worked to make his father's dream a reality. This was the third major impact on his life: though he claimed that Gallan's death was justice, Guilliman came to realize that it was in fact vengeance, and worked to master his emotional self-control. By the time the [[Emperor]] reached Macragge, Roboute had ruled for five years and turned the world into a place where you had to earn your place, not just be born into it, like what his father wanted.

===Great Crusade and Horus Heresy===
[[File:Know No Fear huge.jpg|400px|thumb|right|''"Lorgar of Colchis. You may consider the following. One: I entirely withdraw my previous offer of solemn ceasefire. It is cancelled, and will not be made again, to you or to any other of your motherless bastards. Two: you are no longer any brother of mine. I will find you, I will kill you, and I will hurl your toxic corpse into hell’s mouth."'' - Roboute Guilliman, channeling Bryan Mills.]]

Guilliman put to use his skills as a tactician and strategist to fight in his Father's crusade, preferring to form battle plans rather than actually participate in the fighting himself though he still did his fair share of Xeno-killing. In the hopes of passing down some of his strategic expertise, he worked very hard to turn the Ultramarines into an army of thinkers. His primary rule as a commander was "Information is victory", emphasizing that Space Marines needed theoretical knowledge and practical experience, in other words, a sound understanding of the tactical situation and a means to achieve their objective. Given that battle plans proved to be the first casualty, Guilliman soon realized that he would need to refine his own strategies even as he codified them, lest they fall apart in the chaos of warfare. In spite of that, with over 250,000 legionaries, he managed to achieve compliance on the highest number of worlds during the [[Great Crusade]], but was surpassed in ''military'' victories not only by the [[Luna Wolves]], but by [[Space Wolves]] and [[Dark Angels]] as well. Meaning he was either a good diplomat or his crusade encountered much more peaceful human societies not being mutants than the average one. Or he [[Lorgar|spent too much time reshaping worlds by his ideals]]. Guilliman also made a point to turn conquered planets into model military worlds, and the Ultramarines would not leave until a modern [[Planetary Defence Force]] was established. He really should've been put jointly in charge of administration post-Ullanor, which would've made premature, excessive taxation of newly integrated worlds a lot easier to avoid (and therefore fewer worlds would have joined Horus' rebellion). Or probably not: after all, Guilliman didn't change a thing on Nuceria, a beautiful feudal world of charming people enjoying slaves and pit fights and slaves fighting in pits (not to say they were fucking responsible for the mess Angron turned into) after incorporating it in his empire. It was of no concern to Roboute; the only thing he cared about were resources and taxes arriving in time. So while central worlds of Ultramar prospered, provinces were much shittier places to live, up to the point where some populaces ''didn't know who Guilliman was'' (and I'm not making it up, Lion spits this information in Roboute's face in "Unremembered Empire").

When civil war broke out, Guilliman was tricked into taking most of his Legion to Calth for a joint Ultramarines/[[Word Bearers]] engagement. While most of his Chapter Masters believed it was just Horus flexing his muscles, Guilliman realized it was partly political: when the Emperor of Mankind rebuked [[Lorgar|Lorgar Aurelian]] for spreading the ''Lectitio Divinatatus'', he ordered the Ultramarines to burn Monarchia, capital city of Khur, as an example of what would happen to those who continued to defy the [[Imperial Truth]]. Guilliman carried out his orders and didn't show Lorgar any sympathy, but privately confided to some of his officers his discomfort in doing so, feeling that the total humiliation would irreparably damage relations between the XIII and XVII Legions. Guilliman saw this as a chance to mend fences and forge friendships the old fashioned way: by getting Space Marines to kill Orks side by side. Unfortunately, Horus and Lorgar used the Calth muster to kill nearly half the Legion in a surprise attack. When he found out Lorgar's treachery he personally declared to hunt Lorgar down and kill him, only to be attacked by some sort of [[Daemon]]ic proxy that blew up the main bridge of his flagship and voided him out. So Guilliman did what any other pissed off Primarch would do: go on a rampage against Word Bearers trying to board the ''Macragge's Honour'' by punching them to death. [[Wat|In near vacuum. Without a helmet.]] ''For half an hour.'' ([[Dan Abnett]] is still pretty proud of that scene). Not long after that, [[Kor Phaeron]] tried to recruit him for [[Chaos]]' cause by stabbing him with a corrupted blade like Horus, but Guilliman wanted none of it and punched the Dark Cardinal off him so hard the old man had a heart attack. In the end, though, the Ultramarines managed to wrest control of their defense grid back and shoot any Word Bearer ship not retreating posthaste to smithereens.

===[[Imperium Secundus|That episode he doesn't like to talk about]]===

{{Topquote|Listen to your blue-clad wretches yelling of courage and honour, courage and honour, courage and honour. Do you even know the meaning of those words? Courage is fighting the kingdom which enslaves you, no matter that their armies outnumber yours by ten-thousand to one. You know nothing of courage. Honour is resisting a tyrant when all others suckle and grow fat on the hypocrisy he feeds them. You know nothing of honour.

''You’re still a slave, Angron. Enslaved by your past, blind to the future. Too hateful to learn. Too spiteful to prosper.''|Emprha' Twelfth and Thirteenth sons have a nice and brotherly chat about their life.}}

After the Battle of Calth severly hurt his Legion, Guilliman had to contend with the Shadow Crusade as Lorgar and Angron went on a merry joyride through Ultramar, razing 26 worlds with their main fleet and who knows how many with the splinter fleets. Oh, and Guilliman got a severe kick in the bottom from Angron on [[Nuceria]] after trying to beat the everloving shit out of Lorgar. In the end, though, Guilliman [[just as planned|seemingly]] managed to get both the Word Bearers and World Eaters off his lawn. Ultramar was however cut off from the rest of the Imperium by Warp Storms preventing travel and astrotelepathic communication. After seeing off the Shadow Crusade, Guilliman acted on the assumption that due to being unable to know if the greater Imperium or the Emperor survived, he would need to act on the worst-case scenario that they had both fallen.

Consequently, if his father could not be saved, His ideals would be, and so he set up a new government called [[Imperium Secundus]], a second Imperium of Man which would reject Horus's alliance with Chaos. Although potentially traitorous to an outside observer, Guilliman's motives at least ''were'' sincere, he made a big hoohah about not taking the throne himself, since he would look like a Tyrant if he did. Fortunately/Unfortunately, [[Lion El'Jonson|The Lion]] arrived at Macragge and didn't like [[heresy|where it was heading]]. Neither brother trusted the other with the job of ruling the next Imperium, so [[Sanguinius]] got the job only to settle the matter between the two and was declared regent of the Imperium in the Emperor's absence, [[Fail|only for the whole thing to be abandoned when Guilliman learned to his horror that the Emperor wasn't dead and that his whole plan was little more than a pointless waste of time]]. It continues to be a source of shame to him even in the present time that he got [[troll|manoeuvred]] by Lorgar into creating the Imperium Secundus.

Despite his fuckup, Guilliman managed to lead over one hundred thousand Ultramarines to Terra with the [[Dark Angels]] and the [[Space Wolves]], intent on helping the [[Blood Angels]], [[Imperial Fists]], and [[White Scars]] currently defending Terra. Learning about this and knowing that he could not sustain the assault on the planet anymore once the bulk of the loyalist forces came into the fight, Horus lowered the void shields upon the ''Vengeful Spirit'' in an all-or-nothing gambit to win the war by killing the Emprah in a duel. Alas, Guilliman and his reinforcements arrived too late to stop the traitors (who despite the death of Horus still mostly held space around the planet) from retreating to their ships and flee from Terra. This and his own feeling that said lateness could have been prevented had he made for Terra sooner only motivated him harder to kick the Scouring off, where those traitors that wouldn't or couldn't make their way to the Eye of Terror were hunted down and cleansed, planet by planet. Guilliman also pushed for his reforms in that time, which led to considerable [[skub|divergences of opinions]]; but in the end everyone seemingly agreed and went "Okay, let's do this Codex thing!" (only for several chapters to begin [[Black Templars| either partially or completely]] [[Space Wolves|ignoring said Codex]] [[Dark Angels|or only giving the idea lip service]] when Guilliman had his attention elsewhere. No, Bobby, your example '''doesn't''' rub off on others just because!) Not much later, Guilliman [[Battle of Thessala|got himself stabbed in the neck]] by [[Fulgrim]] in an absurdly one-sided duel; the resulting poisoning had him sitting on a stasis throne for the better part of 10,000 years (I know; somehow the poison was more of a big deal than the actual stab wound in his fucking neck).

===41st millennium / Gathering Storm===
[[File:16999239_340497286345256_3126583543407667659_n.jpg|400px|right|thumb|Our [[Spiritual Liege]] about to give [[Skarbrand]] a [[Sanguinius]]-style head chopping.]]
:''We shall give the humans a demigod. A king reborn with a deathly blade.'' - Prince [[Yriel]].

As we know, after being poisoned by Fulgrim, Guilliman was put into stasis. A popular rumor was that he was slowly healing, though that would be impossible in stasis. Eventually, after a kiss from [[Yvraine]] and a nice mechadendrite massage from [[Belisarius Cawl|Cawl]], he feels better. He plays a major role in the third Gathering Storm book. That's right; Guilliman is back! And in plastic! Somebody call Fulgrim, he'll be pissed! (Spoiler alert: he is really, really pissed. So is Mortarion. Magnus had a chuckle though. And of course, [[Matt Ward|our Spiritual Liege]] probably 'enjoyed himself' after hearing this news)

Essentially, after Roboute was resurrected, he goes full-blown Saitama and proceeds to wipe out an entire horde of veteran chaos marines with his manly man-fists, without taking a single scratch [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atxYe-nOa9w (there is a scene where he one-punches a Chaos Terminator through a bronze and marble column)], then he immediately took command of the local imperial forces and used his [[Tactical genius|tactical genius]] to inspire the combined forces of Chaos to simultaneously shit themselves. Within a month, Guilliman weeds out the entire invading Chaos force on Macragge in a series of battles and heroic duels worthy of any primarch. Once Macragge is liberated, Guilliman then looked to liberate the rest of the Macragge system, this time with help from the Primogenitor Chapters, the [[Dark Angels]], [[Space Wolves]], [[White Scars]], a [[Sisters of Battle]] army, the remaining [[Black Templars]] of the force that fought on Cadia, more [[Imperial Guard|Guardsmen]], a ship containing an entire [[Imperial Knight|Knight Household]], an entire [[Imperial Navy]] battlegroup, and the [[Mechanicus]] with an entire [[Titan|Titan Legion]] backing them. He also declares the independent sovereignty of the [[Ultramar|five hundred worlds]] null and void, assuming direct control over his former territories. [[Rape|There was no kill like overkill.]]

After Robby G has finished his job in ousting Chaos from Ultramar, the Ynnari bid their farewell, as they have other psychic mumbo-jumbo to do elsewhere. Roboute and Yvraine said their goodbyes, Roboute said that he is in debt to Yvraine for bringing him back to life and Yvraine telling Roboute to stay safe. Although in all honesty the respect between the two is interesting, because it shows two historically opposed forces allying rather civilly to work towards a common goal, showing that Geedubs might be going a bit [[Warhammer Fantasy Battles|old-school]] with this, having the (somewhat) less evil factions uniting against chaos, tempering the Grimderp of the setting with a little pragmatism, and who better to do that than Mr. Practicality and and the world's most morally flexible Eldar? Although, canonically the Imperium and Eldar fight together much more often than they fight each other so this could merely be an extension of that. Besides, after seeing what the combined forces of the Imperial military can do when properly co-ordinated, the Eldar were likely quite eager not to piss anyone off by disrespecting a freaking Primarch. That said Primarch can probably (and might have) use Chaos titans as bludgeons to smash his enemies and break starships with his hands (Horus caught a battleship once and threw it away) and used said hands to annihilate a force of Chaos Marines strong enough that they could have laid the smackdown on a Craftworld is also a good reason to be respectful.

[[File:YvraineXGuilliman.png|300px|left|thumb|[[Extra Heresy|HERESY TO THE EXTREME!]]]]

During his coronation as uber-boss of Ultramar, a fragment of [[Fulgrim]] possessing a planetary governor infiltrated the many, many pilgrims and dignitaries who had shown up to verify the Primarch's resurrection, and offered him a golden wreath to wear. The wreath was cursed to show Guilliman all his potential glories and lead him to the embrace of Slaanesh. When he saw through the deception and ordered the infiltrator slain, Fulgrim promised that Guilliman would never take any satisfaction from his victories ever again. Which kind of reinforces the notion that Fulgrim is beyond [[Butthurt]] that he did not kill Papa Smurf.

Also, it seems that [[Saint Celestine]] and Inquisitor Greyfax have convinced Roboute to tolerate the [[Ecclesiarchy]] (for now anyway). Suffice to say, he was <u>'''NOT'''</u> pleased with the whole space Catholicism thing that had been going on while he was asleep. (More specifically, those fundamentalists that tried to roleplay as a [[Goge Vandire|certain Vandire]], and him remembering that it was Lorgar's desire to worship the Emperor that got the whole clusterfuck started.) After learning about the Ecclesiarchy's more level-headed members and realizing its use, Guilliman works the Imperial Faith into one of his speeches even though it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. He is still at the core a defender of the [[Imperial Truth]], however it seems that he at least understands that the Imperium in its current state needs faith to survive.

Later, [[Nurgle]] inflicted a plague on Ultramar called '''The Sorrows/Weeping Plague''' that spread via insects and caused its victims' eyes to rot out. However, the only known cure for the disease was to be admitted to the presence of Guilliman himself. Realising that it was a devious trick to play on the Primarch's compassion and contain Guilliman in Ultramar, he declared that he would not repeat the mistake of [[Imperium Secundus|defending his own realm while the rest of he galaxy burned]] and needed to go to Terra for the [[Greater_Good|Greater Good]] of the Imperium, and left his Apothecaries to try and find a cure.

It is known that while heading to Terra on ''Macragge's Honour'', the Thousand Sons transported him into the [[Maelstrom]], where a warband of [[Red Corsairs]] and daemons led by [[Kairos Fateweaver]] attack him and his allies. Kairos manages to "bind Guilliman in chains of his own guilt, anger, and disappointment" (kinky) and toss him into a cell on a [[Blackstone Fortress]] (clinky), which the Red Corsairs apparently got from Abbadon as a gift in exchange for their loyalty. However, his relief comes in the form of none other than '''[[Cypher]]''' who has been led to Guilliman by the [[Harlequins]] and a bunch of [[Khorne|Khornate]] daemons led by [[Skarbrand]] assaulting the Blackstone Fortress when Kairos insisted on keeping Guilliman alive for future plans. Cypher makes a deal with Guilliman, freeing him and the crusader army from bondage and offering the [[Fallen Angels]]' support in exchange for a free pass to Terra and the Imperial Throne Room to fulfill his destiny. After fighting their way through an army of daemons and escaping through the webway, they are pursued by the [[Thousand Sons]] but fight their way through to Luna and continue the battle on Terra's doorstep, and eventually Guilliman winds up having a duel with [[Magnus]] himself. Guilliman looks to be losing the fight until he gets saved by the [[Sisters of Silence]], supported by the [[Imperial Fists]] and the [[Adeptus Custodes]], who drop in to save the day. When he finally arrives on Terra, Guilliman has a sudden, dreadful epiphany after seeing Cypher's sword and then proceeds to retcon his deal by getting Cypher arrested by the Custodians before he could see the Emperor ''(though Cypher, being Cypher, immediately escapes, but is shown to have a particular bad case of [[Not_as_planned|butthurt]], first time in 40k history!)''. Given how honorable Guilliman is, it ''must'' be something bad if he would resort to backing out on his word.

Guilliman then gets an audience with the Emperor behind closed doors. To his pleasant surprise, the Emperor was still alive and able to communicate after ten thousand years. To his much less pleasant surprise, he found out Big. E no longer even cared about pretending to be remotely human in his current state, and that he, like all his 'brothers' Primarchs, had merely been tools in His big plan. Big.E loved mankind as a whole but never individuals, not even his so-called "sons"; and that kinda rankled. What exactly passed between Emps and Bobby, only they know but it was presumably along the lines of: "Roboute, I know that [[Imperium Secundus|last time you went Empire Building]] I got really mad at you and all, but uh... I sorta need you to do some Empire Building again." to which Guilliman agreed. When he emerges back out of the throne room, he would only say he got all the enlightenment he needed and then declares himself '''Lord Commander of the Imperium''' ''(his old job)'' before forcibly deposing some [[High Lords of Terra|High Lords]] he doesn't like and replacing them; and ordering them to start getting shit done to restore the Imperium.

Whilst his deposing of some of the High Lords may seem unnecessary given the desperate/fragile state of the Imperium, do take note that Guilliman is a meritocrat and an administrator first and foremost, so if anyone can save the Administratum and the Imperial Senate, it's him. Thus him rearranging the High Lords is perfectly in character as the High Lords have been repeatedly established as being almost entirely self-serving individuals who are incompetent in administration at best and utterly uninterested in anything other than expanding their personal power at worst - in short, everything Guilliman is not. If anything, it would be even more out of character for Guilliman to just look the other way given their (lack of) overall performance.

[[Tl;dr]], Robby came, he saw, and he threw the entire Chaos Space Marines a [[Anal circumference|beating]] like no other. And now he has to make the entire Imperium get its shit together much to his chagrin and angst.

===8th Edition===
To stem the tide of traitors, xenos, and Chaos, Roboute Guilliman declared the [[Indomitus Crusade]] against the enemies of the Imperium. In order to accomplish this, he unveiled the [[Primaris Marines]], a project 10,000 years in the making to create a superior Space Marine. Between battles, he's also begun to revise the Codex Astartes and compose a (relatively) accurate history of the Imperium of Man, founding a new division of the Adeptus Terra to act as historians (much to the Inquisition's annoyance - and yes, quite a few Inquisitors would say 'no' to a Primarch even if he is the regent of the Imperium). The Crusade lasted about a century; and while it was able to drive the forces of Chaos away from some of their new holdings, even Guilliman knew that it was only enough to stabilize the Imperium in its current state. [[Abaddon|Mr. 13 Failures]] might have failed to get to Terra as he planned, but he still got a nasty blow in and Guilliman knows it.

The Dark Imperium novel has portrayed him as having become far more cynical over the events of the Indomitus Crusade, in no small part due to frequently butting heads with the Inquisition and the nobility, who see Guilliman's push for reforms as a threat to their personal power. While he still believes in the Emperor's ideals, his belief in the [[Imperial Truth]] has also been shaken. He knows the Emperor is not quite human any longer, but he has noted that even if Emps is a god, something as cold and ruthlessly callous as Him doesn't deserve worship in the first place. According to Guilliman, when he met with the Emperor, the latter treated him as little more than a favorite tool that had only just been recovered for a highly urgent job, as opposed to being the last of his loyal sons. On the flip side, though, even the realization that Emps never loved his "sons" (The ultimate reason [[Horus]] broke and started the whole Heresy clusterfuck) did not break him. E-money might not love him as a son, but that doesn't mean his ideals aren't worth fighting for and Guilliman intends to do it right this time!

As of now, Big Bobby G is splitting his time between his history work, preventing the Imperium's appalling situation from getting worse by pointing a power-armored finger in the right direction, and applying power-armored boot to asses where needed. He's also busy writing the '''Codex Imperialis''' which is basically the [[Codex Astartes]] on civil society and good governance. The compilation of the Imperium's history is just one part of the new Codex which he intends to fix the semi-functioning clusterfuck that is the Imperial bureaucracy. He hopes that if (or when) he dies for good, his successors will use it for guidance rather than going with the head-up-ass approach they've taken in the past.

Despite his dislike of the Emperor's detachment from humanity, he has also begun to realize that circumstances forced the Emperor to take his autocratic stance - and that he may very well end up becoming a dictator himself too. While for the time being he still hopes to preserve his ideals in the face of the grimdark galaxy he lives in, he has accepted that if push comes to shove he may need to give them up for the sake of humanity's survival.

A fun fact is that he is also quite creeped out at the whole [[Cherubim|'turn-a-baby-into-a-flying-cyborg' thing]] going around in the AdMech and Ecclesiarchy. He also gave up trying to correct the myths about him and his fellow Primarchs after 80 years or so, because people kept repeating them anyway.

==Personality==
Roboute Guilliman is a mix of the classical patrician and the archetypal virtuous politician. He's studied, efficient, extremely intelligent even when compared to his own demigod brothers, and morally resolute. He values merit and results over birth or flattery, and he emphasizes in his troops that information is victory, that a sound grasp of theory and a strong ability for the practical is necessary in resolving all problems. He's also rather tolerant of different moods and mentalities, so long as they still serve the Imperium's goals. The barbarous overtones of the [[Space Wolves]], the standoffish eccentricities of the [[White Scars]], even quiet religious practices on his own world, these things never bothered him. In his mind, the Ultramarines had clearly demonstrated the superior merit of their ways and those ways would rub off on the more eccentric factions of the Imperium over time.

Call it faith and trust, call it arrogance and presumption, but Guilliman genuinely believed that he controlled the most disciplined, civilized peoples and armies within the Imperium and he thought his way was best. But contrary to what many think of him he didn't go out of his way to force his ways on others, he simply made all his writings and tactics available to all his brothers, and told his men to be at their best when fighting alongside the other factions. He only ever criticized or scolded when the circumstances seemed extreme, such as [[Alpharius]]'s unnecessary targeting of enemy civilian populations to damage morale, [[Perturabo]]'s wasteful decimation of his own Legion or [[Angron]]'s needlessly brutal assaults and pointless carnages leaving only piles of bodies and a ravaged planet behind. This attitude was likely the reason Guilliman was passed over for the role of Warmaster, as he didn't get along well with many of his brothers, counting only [[Rogal Dorn]], [[Sanguinius]], [[Horus]], [[Ferrus Manus]], and [[Vulkan]] as friends, though he did have a sincere admiration and respect for [[Leman Russ]] and [[Jaghatai Khan]]. He also saw a potential for common ground with Lorgar, but that potential was never explored because of... [[Heresy|Reasons]].

Guilliman was also an organizational savant [[Perturabo|almost]] unmatched in all the galaxy. He was known to calculate logistical information and strategies far faster than the Mechanicum's best logic engines, planning out entire planetary invasions in his mind in moments, a feat only matched by his brother the Lion. Though many of his brothers were godly tacticians ([[Corax]] managed to wrong-foot him a couple of times, for instance), Guilliman uniquely focused on what came after a war: how the world could be used, improved, colonized, uplifted, integrated and becoming a full-fledged supporting member of the Imperium and the Great Crusade instead of being left a war-torn ruin. Guilliman insisted on ensuring that any populated world the Ultramarines took was left with working infrastructure, an able and trained PDF, and a decent quality of life for civilian populations. Something that his brothers (save for Lorgar and usually Horus) paid little to no attention to; and it came back to bite the Imperium in the ass later.

This cold calculation often bled into his personal life however. The best example of this might be his dealings with [[Lorgar]]. After the Ultramarines were used by the Emperor to sanction the Word Bearers, Guilliman privately admitted to some of his officers that he sincerely regretted that it had happened that way, being uncomfortable censuring his brother that way, and fearing that the damage in relations it caused between the XIII and the XVII would be permanent. After all, there was much potential for kinship between Lorgar and Guilliman, and their legions. What legions were more devoted to the Emperor than those two? Which brothers thought most of the future, of what comes after the conquest? The sudden void of lost potential between the legions was tragic. So what did Guilliman do? Did he seek out his brother later to make amends? Did he have a quiet meeting with his brother to confess his discomfort and seek reconciliation? Send a nice gift basket perhaps? No. Guilliman set up a formal, impersonal meeting between the two of them, alongside their captains, retinues, and aides. [[FAIL|Forty. Years. Later.]] By that time it was much too late.

Though above his genius, above his skills as an administrator and a statesman, Guilliman's most noteworthy characteristic is probably being one of the few well adjusted, sensible people in the entire freaking galaxy. He encouraged his sons to diversify their interests in combat, not to [[Emperor's Children|art]] or [[Blood Angels|fine]] [[Salamanders|crafts]], but to governance and law, city planning and infrastructure. He was a pragmatist, and was well aware of the need for his legion to be useful outside of war, knowing full well what would have to happen to [[World Eaters|some]] [[Night Lords|legions]] when the wars had ended. Guilliman was also one of the few Primarchs who didn't really see the Emperor as his father, paying lip service to the idea but being the first to state how shitty the Emperor was at raising kids and he never fully forgave the Emperor for using him and his Legion as a tool to humiliate Lorgar. He understood how to run an empire, how to inspire loyalty and how to temper the flawed nature of humanity with organisation and discipline. The Emperor's greatest failing was always a lack of understanding in the people he ruled, a flaw that few saw in him, save perhaps for [[Malcador the Sigillite]] and Guilliman.

Ultimately we get a picture of a man who's charismatic, but impersonal. Brilliantly intelligent, but often blinded by arrogance and faith. Meritocratic and receptive to the common man, but often cold and distant. A good general and warrior, but above that he was a statesman and a leader. If Horus is a conqueror at heart, if Lorgar is a demagogue, If Magnus is a scholar or teacher, Guilliman is an administrator or politician, a man whose concern is less the glories and bloodshed of war, and more the administrative work that follows.

After his long nap he seems frustrated with the new (old) Imperium and shaken by his meeting with the Emperor, but that good 'ole Ultramarine spirit is still with him, so he got up, stretched his limbs, and went to town for an ass whooping. A few of his actions thus far are imminently noteworthy. He dissolved the independent sovereignty of any worlds that were historically part of Ultramar, has started catering to the Imperial Creed in one of his speeches, is openly cooperating with xenos witches, and essentially taking the role of Emperor 2.0. That's not to say that any of those choices are wrong or unnecessary, but they're all notable because they show that Guilliman is now more inclined to sudden, imperious action where once he might have used diplomacy; however, this may be a result of having to singlehandedly salvage the entire Imperium even as it fights against his attempts at reform. Overall, Guilliman is disillusioned with his "dad", disgusted by the Ecclesiarchy, disappointed with the state of the Imperium as a whole but still wiling to step into the breach and help humanity elevate itself. His faith in the Emperor has been badly shaken but his sense of duty and faith in humanity is as strong as ever.

==Popular Opinion==
''All men can see these tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved.''<br>
- Sun Tzu

Guilliman is mostly hated by the community at large because of [[Matt Ward | Mattards]] Codex: Space Marines. However, it is worth stating that Guilliman was probably one of the most important figures holding the Imperium together after the Horus Heresy. He's one of the [[Jaghatai Khan|few]] Primarchs to realize that the Emperor's ideals were more important than the man himself, which is something that [[Malcador the Sigillite|Malcador]] kept preaching.

He was also among the best Primarchs when it came to logistics and organization, though [[Perturabo]] was probably better, (but Guilliman wasn't an antisocial autistic weirdo, so there's that), which is pretty much one of the only reasons why the [[Imperium of Man]] didn't collapse after the Horus Heresy. He was able to train and equip more than twice as many Marines during the [[Great Crusade]] than any other Legion, and he wrote the [[Codex Astartes]] (still the standard for Space Marine tactics). He is credited with reorganizing the entire governmental and administrative system of the [[Imperium of Man]] (yes, the reorganized Administratum ended up running the galaxy into the ground, but the fact that it's still running at all is a good sign).

However as the Horus Heresy series continues, it is revealed that it was actually [[Malcador the Sigillite]] who had been creating the foundations for the later Imperium. In fact it is continuously being hinted that Guilliman positioned himself to take over the Imperium after the fall of the Emperor, being almost explicitly stated in ''Vengeful Spirit''. whether through good intentions or through sinister means has yet to be revealed. Funnily enough Kor Phaeron, who hated his guts, identified him as the Primarch best suited to succeed his dad, though given the source, that may well be intended as an insult. Despite this, Guilliman claimed that he had no desire to be Emperor and promised his brothers that if the otherwise impassable Ruinstorm abated, he would immediately send his fleet to Terra. That said, the Blood Angels managed to get back to Terra somehow, despite being on the wrong side of it, so it's unknown just how difficult it was to get back.

''Unfortunately'', thanks to 10,000 years of propaganda and exaggeration (and Matt Ward's Codex: Space Marines), Guilliman is ''absolutely perfect'' in every way and treated as ''second only to the Emperor'' through ''the entire Imperium.'' This is incorrect, considering that [[Sebastian Thor]] is actually the main Imperial saint, and [[Sanguinius]] is the primarch most beloved by the common men of the Imperium. Regardless, Guilliman is pretty high on the list and the only Primarch whose body <s>is</s> was on public display Lenin style. This "better than thou" shit is sad and quite paradoxical, since Guilliman himself genuinely recognized [[Lion El'Jonson|some]] [[Horus|Primarchs]] were better than him as leaders. He has sometimes been portrayed as petty or jealous of his brother Primarchs but also intelligent enough to acknowledge his own errors when proved wrong. Far from the "perfect in every aspect" figure Matt Ward promoted, the HH Guilliman is actually a man with a lot of very human weaknesses but possessing the humility to admit them as flaws he must deal with.

[[Fallen Angels|Astelan]], while a prisoner of the [[Dark Angels]] goes into detail explaining how Guilliman was purportedly the ''"greatest"'' of the Primarchs, but only in the context of what the Emperor intended for them. Astelan describes that Guilliman was '''"not the most able-minded, nor as charismatic, and not as physically adept"''' and was the inferior of [[Horus]] in every respect. Although Astelan was also a traitor and a fallen angel, so his word is hardly reliable. His greatness came from the fact that Guilliman never once wavered in dedication and service and created his Space Marines to be incorruptible. Guilliman and his Ultramarines were the perfect <u>sons</u>, not necessarily perfect soldiers. It's also worthy of note that much like [[Rogal Dorn]] and [[Lion El'Jonson]], Guilliman was a possible candidate for the position of warmaster, but was rejected for the same reasons they were: he didn't get along with many of his brothers.

However, contrary to that, He also did a lot of tricky things in [[Horus Heresy]], like that whole [[Imperium Secundus]] thing, and it's popularly theorized that he was bitter that he never got to be '''Warmaster''', which despite his claims that he had no desire to become Emperor, when he appointed the [[High Lords of Terra]] he nominated himself for the seat of '''Lord Commander of the Imperium''' which was essentially "Warmaster" in all but name, and the titular commander of the entirety of the Imperium's armed forces. So claiming that no man should have the power of a Legion, then place himself at the top of the chain of command for all of the [[Space Marine Chapter|Chapters]] that his remaining brothers were left with was a bit hypocritical.

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="width:600px">
Or was it?
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">
It's quite likely that Guilliman's actions in creating the Imperium Secundus, and his later actions during the reformation of the Imperium, are a reference to the Roman practice of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_dictator Roman Dictatorship]. A roman dictator was more or less what we think of as a modern dictator, with one key exception. The dictator was given absolute executive and military power over Rome and her holdings in times of crisis, when the gridlock and bureaucratic red tape of Roman society got in the way of doing what needed to be done. But as strange as it sounds to our modern minds, dictators were elected to their position, and without exception in all the history of Rome every dictator willingly stepped down and returned power to the senate. Except Caesar and Octavius. For the latter case, he is the most revered one(''augustus''), hence it is entirely ''reasonable'' for him to keep being dictator.

It's highly likely that Guilliman's actions after the emperor's death are a reference to this practice: he set aside the normal moral and legal rules restricting him so that he could restructure the imperium. Despite the fact that he was in the perfect position to assume power over the entire imperium, he relinquished power to the Council of Terra after some sense of stability had returned. This is further supported by how heavily his legion leans on Roman culture, and how much Guilliman himself draws on the famous generals of Rome (Julius and Augustus Caesar, Cininatus, etc).</div></div>

So with that being said, he was no more flawless than the other Primarchs; Even during the Great Crusade, while he was considered to be one of the greatest strategists in the entire Imperium, he was defeated in combat simulations by [[Corax]] of the [[Raven Guard]], having to be specifically taught that there is no fixed dividing line between non-combatants and soldiers when people are defending their homes; that under-strength units should not be ruled out as ineffective; and that small units of adaptable troops can be wielded with just as much effect as larger battalions and chapters. Furthermore, Guilliman stuck closely to his tried and true methods, refusing to give credit to what he considered "unconventional" tactics, pissing off many other Primarchs, most notably [[Alpharius]]. Even though he would later be shown by his own men how effective such unconventional guerrilla tactics would be and would include then in his codex.

Therefore, while some people insist he was the Primarch with the greatest mental capacity and adaptability, he struggled woth lateral thinking and would frequently fail to see the flaws in his methods until explicitly shown the error of his ways. Also, though the Codex Astartes undoubtedly did a lot of good things like making sure each chapter could feasibly fight under most conditions no matter their heritage or preference and ensuring that no one person could control an entire Legion's worth of Space Marines, forcing all of his brothers to split their Legions into [[Codex Astartes|Chapters]] risked a second galactic civil war.

Additionally, although it isn't (entirely) his fault, Guilliman is usually blamed for turning the Ultramarines into such faggots. The Codex is now basically treated as infallible by the Ultramarines ''(at least the more faggot-y ones; [[Captain Titus|there's at least some who take it with a grain of salt and realize where its strengths and weaknesses lie]])''. even though he '''specifically said''' that the [[Codex Astartes]] should not be treated as a bible to be followed unerringly... Except for the organizational parts, which he forced on his brothers as part of the post-Heresy reforms and were upheld by the High Lords of Terra as a means of keeping the Astartes in check.

Recently he's been increasingly entrusted to the care of the Mighty [[Dan Abnett]] and his faggot level is dropping rapidly. Now, Guilliman isn't portrayed as a power armored Sun Tzu, but as a logistical genius, planning planetary conquest in a way that would leave said worlds in a state that could quickly be returned to order and Imperial rule. His high number of compliant worlds is a direct product of this, helped by his Legion's innate tendency towards discipline, hierarchy and monomaniacal fixation on whatever their objective might be. Abnett also doesn't make him a "master of all trades". The Khan is better at scouting operations, Russ is better at killing other Marines, Sanguinius has better people skills, etc. Abnett's Guilliman is a great builder and administrator, better than any other Primarch, but '''not''' better than Your Dudes at what they're defined by.

This adherence toward a rigid chain of command did end up becoming a double-edged sword later on, since when Guilliman was put into stasis the Ultramarines still tried to follow him (thanks to him being the at the top of the chain) and as such started to forget that the Codex Astartes was only meant to be a guideline, as opposed to a definitive text. More importantly, they slowly lost their ability to adapt to new situations, which was their most famed of traits, until the Tyrannic Wars illustrated the need to improvise new strategies when old ones failed them.

Once upon a time, thanks to the rabid fanboying of [[Matt Ward]], most of [[/tg/]] hated him, but many of them have since come around. Still expect people to [[Rage|bitch endlessly]] about how he was an absolute [[Leman Russ|narrow-minded]] [[Lion El'Jonson|hypocritical]] [[Dorn|jerk]], but don't feel bad about it.

Ironically enough, Guilliman has something the Imperium needs even more desperately than new technologies and peace: managerial skills, among the primarchs Guilliman was the only one who actually seemed to be bright enough to understand and strongly insist upon. No [[Eldar|empire]], no matter how militarily powerful [[Dark Age of Technology|initially]], could maintain that strength forever given [[Slaanesh|the effects of corruption]] and inefficiency upon tax collection and military production, and civilian and military morale. It speaks something of most of the denizens of 4chan that so few of them have ever pointed out this simple fact(as in little of them have management experience, but hey, we're considering gameplayers here).

On a side note, he likes Shakespeare's work.

===Suddenly, Forge World!===
[[Image:Girlyman.jpg|400px|thumb|right|[[Dwarfs (Warhammer Fantasy)|Guilliman atop his mighty Oathstone (not seen are the Chapter Serfs who get the honour of carrying him around)! Note how tiny his sword is. Matt Ward does not approve.]]]]
When Tempest came out, it significantly downplayed his flaws, though not as much as knee-jerk reactions made people fear. In Tempest Guilliman is "held by some as a paragon among the Emperor's sons", and that he "is as much a statesman as he is an indefatigable warrior." He's also as just as great a strategist, in addition to being very level-headed, one of the smartest and most analytical, constantly basing new and better designs off of existing materials, as well as refining battle plans thanks to having a mind that calmly and coldly allows him to analyze everything around him and wonder how various things like his marines, his armour and his weapons could all be improved. He observes what other Primarchs do with their warriors and tries to make them better in his own creations, in doing so (specifically copying Perturabo's Siege Tyrants in the rules) they say he's "proving himself once again the master of all of the myriad disciplines of war." Or at least trying to. This is further evidenced by his rules below where he's good at buffing his army, but not to the degree of [[Alpharius]] or [[Perturabo]] while as a warrior in a straight-up fight he only loses to Horus, Leman Russ, and Fulgrim''(not counting [[Lorgar|psychic interference]] or Primarchs with a [[Angron|bit of momentum behind them]])''.

In addition, Guilliman's Ultramarines during the Horus Heresy were one of the most disciplined of all the Legions, as well as by far the most numerous, the ones who prized intelligence above all to help them formulate the best battle plan, and with the best training/recruitment (rivaled only by the [[Dark Angels|I Legion]], whose training was faster but overall must have been less efficient in some way given the much greater number of Ultramarines) not to mention being familiar with the less eccentric legions MO's and able to pull them off without any problems which had a lot to do with their rigid chain of command. The Imperial Fists were known for their interlocked shield walls, the Iron Hands for their steadiness under fire, the Iron Warriors for their willingness to accept casualties, the Salamanders for their courage in the face of overwhelming odds, and you can bet the Ultras learned from these aspects of all their ways of warfare. This isn't to say that the Ultramarines could do anything any other legion could do, but rather to say that they were *almost* as capable at any given task as any of their brother legions, which granted them much greater flexibility than most other legions. For example, if the [[World Eaters]] got into a campaign where the enemy could consistently avoid getting into melee, they'd be fucked. If the [[Night Lords]] got into battle with a fearless enemy, they'd be at a disadvantage. Ditto with the Alpha Legion and a smarter opponent, the Iron Warriors and an especially mobile opponent, etc. Due to the Ultramarine's discipline, diverse training, and expert planning, they ended up having a level of tactical flexibility matched only by a [[Sons of Horus|few]] [[Dark Angels|other]] [[Alpha Legion|armies]]. In any case, in Tempest Horus considers the Ultramarines were considered the greatest single military threat to Horus's rebellion. The books outright state that if the Ultramarines were aware of Horus' rebellion they and their Auxilia would be able to make [[Ultramar|the 500 worlds]] a bastion that by itself, would be able to weather the entire heresy and challenge [[Horus]] for control of the eastern half of the Galaxy, even before the Traitor Legions took massive losses on Isstvaan III.

A more generous explanation could be that since the books were written after the Heresy in-universe, it could just be a case of "history is written by the winners" kicking in again, since (rather thankfully) "Everything is canon, not everything is true." Or maybe Matt was secretly brought back for that particular book, which would go quite a long way in explaining all of the Smurf wanking in it. It's likely we'll have to wait until the follow-up book on the Shadow Crusade to determine which of those it is. This doesn't entirely go against 40k's history however, while saying the smurfs and their auxiliaries could take on all of the traitor legions at full strength is undoubtedly complete horseshit, Ultramar was ''always'' considered to have been one of the greatest threats to Horus' rebellion and was the prime reason that the Battle of Calth took place; to get them all in one place and hit them with a surprise attack, and then pin the Ultramarines in place for the duration of the Heresy. The same applies to Guilliman, who has always been considered to have been one of the most intelligent and adaptable of Primarchs, as well as being gifted with his own brilliance.

Thankfully Guilliman still retains some flaws. First, he has little in the way of a creative spark. Submit a novel idea to him and he'll adapt, optimize, expand, integrate and generally improve upon it; but he won't be the one coming up with said ideas on his own. For instance, after seeing the [[Iron Warriors]] deploy Tyrant Siege Terminators he realized [[Perturabo]]'s idea had a lot of merit and he developed an improved version of Cataphractii Terminator Armour equipped with additional sensors and augurs to make his Fulmentarus squads even more efficient at blowing shit up. Guilliman was the one to formalize the use of and optimally deploy Moritat, but he only conceptualised the very idea of using such irregular troops after getting his arse kicked in simulations by Corax who used said Moritat against him to throw his carefully laid battle-plans into disarray. He made his own versions of power weapons that were far better than regular power weapons as they were more precise/lethal when in trained hands, yet he could only do that after studying countless designs of regular power weapons. Even his own armour is artificer armour that he improved in various ways after studying the merits and disadvantages of other designs.

Second, you have his often blind faith in the assumption that his and therefore Ultramarine nobility and camaraderie will rub off on to other, less forward thinking legions, which was a direct contributor to his massive losses at the utterly disastrous [[Battle of Calth]]. ''Know No Fear'' makes a point to show numerous times that there were signs and hints all over the place of what was going to happen, ''right after'' the book makes a point to show Guilliman's incredible observational skills, almost outright stating that he really should have picked up on the disparate details. [[Wat|Instead,]] Guilliman ignored those signs, and practically delivered his legion to [[Lorgar]] on a silver platter, deliberately setting troop arrangements so that his men intermingled with the Urizen's. He thought that spending time together at the muster and again later, killing orks would be a bonding experience that would help the legions grow closer. It didn't, and not only did it not help, his troops being where they were gave the word Bearers a MASSIVE advantage. Lets be clear, there were 100,000 Ultramarine casualties in the first twelve hours. 145,000 were either killed or rendered combat non-effective by the end of the battle. Considering the total XIII Legion strength prior to the slaughter was just above 250,000, versus the 50,000 XVII legion casualties, the Word Bearers removed 60% of the Ultramarines in exchange for 50% of their own.

Consider that: a force with superior wargear (that the Warmaster made sure his traitors had), orbital and air supremacy, almost unlimited demonic hordes ambushed a force completely out of position and almost instantaneously cut off from their command structure. With ALL THOSE ADVANTAGES, the Word Bearers only got a 3 to 1 casualty ratio, though the Ultramarines stellar performance under the circumstances did little to soothe the loss of almost 150,000 marines, half a million Army and Auxilia as well as billions of civilians. It is perhaps no surprise that Imperial history records that Guilliman completely lost his temper and cool at Lorgar when the treachery was realized [[RAGE|(insert max troll face here)]], perhaps this was what allowed him to survive and fight immediately afterwards the near vacuum outside a ship for 11 hours without his helmet?

Furthermore, the Space Wolves are confirmed in Inferno to react more quickly to unexpected problems than Legions more "reliant on highly coordinated planning"; which might as well call out the Ultramariness by name. This is shown on the tabletop with a rule that lets the opponent wrong-foot the Ultramarine army if the UM warlord is killed.

On the other side (and that is a good point) Guilliman and the Ultramarines are not as "noblebright" in ''Tempest'' as they can be in other pieces of background. While he promotes meritocracy and progress and refuses to waste any life, Roboute is always described as cold and logical, obsessed with efficiency, and not a kind of crusading philanthropist. FW's Guilliman is first and foremost a statesman and a warlord willing to make the most effective system possible, and ''Tempest'' implies he used a kind of political police of his own (the Vigil Opertii) to silence any opposition in Ultramar. Just like the Imperium does. The only difference with the other Primarchs is Guilliman cannot deny HE is responsible for all the [[1984|authoritarian shit]] happening in HIS private empire. Feel free to think what you want about Guilliman being OP or a Mary Sue, FW still made him more grimdark than before, even if he remains a nice dude by 30k standards.

==Gameplay==
===30K Guilliman===
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5" align="left"
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || I || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Roboute Guilliman:''' || 400 || 7 || 6 || 6 || 6 || 6 || 6 || 4+1 || 10 || 2+/4++
|}<br style="clear: both; height: 0px;" /><br>
True to his legion, Roboute Guilliman is fairly average as far as Primarchs go, both in terms of his stats and his points cost, but it's the rules and equipment you really want him for. He and any unit he joins can re-roll failed charge distances, and the Concussive special rule doesn't do shit against him. All Ultramarines in play gain +1 to Ld while he's in play and he also makes Invictarus Suzerains and Legion Terminators troops as long as he's the warlord. Preternatural Strategy can force opponents to re-roll successful attempts at Seize the Initiative while also granting all units from one entry in the Ultramarines army list Implacable Advance, Interceptor, or Tank Hunters if they don't have it already, and by that they do mean entry, not just one unit, so if you selected Legion Predator Strike Armour Squadron to have Tank Hunters then every Legion Predator Strike Armour Squadron in your army will gain the rule. It also buffs his WS by 1 for each round of combat within a challenge after the first one (e.g. he becomes WS8 on the second round and so on), although it resets back to 7 after the challenge is over or if his opponent swaps out for somebody else via something like Glorius Intervention. Finally, Unyielding Will negates all negative leadership modifiers and allows him to re-roll failed Deny the Witch tests. (Funnily enough, this actually makes him a decent counter for Lorgar's psychic faggotry, though it won't help him deny Lorgars' blessings.)

Guilliman's Armor of Reason gives him a 2+/4++ and the ability to re-roll the first invulnerable save he fails in each phase. (Not per turn, per phase.). As for his weapons, he can choose one of two melee weapons to use in any given assault phase: the Gladius Incandor (a Paragon Blade with Shred) and the Hand of Dominion (a S10 AP1 Power Fist with Concussion). Both of them are Specialist weapons, so regardless of which one he picks he still gets an extra attack. Finally, his gun is the Arbitrator, a S6 AP3 combi-bolter with Assault 2 and Rending- which he might as well have left at home for how often it fires it as he has a Cognis Signum to use instead (+1 BS to a unit instead of firing a weapon himself). Overall, he gives out a nice variety of buffs and can really hold his own in a fight while being one of the best tactician characters in the game.

Due to his low mobility and vulnerability to tarpits, he's unlikely to make his points back by [[Mortarion|killing something expensive.]] That said, +1 Ld is a reasonably strong bonus, and the insurance against seizing is good insurance against things going [[Not as planned]]. Also, the sky is the limit with the unit entry buff. Tank Hunting Support Squads or Heavy Weapon Squads sound good to you? How about Rapiers? A Cognis Signum is always nice to have. Capping all this off is that you can run a basically tax-free list by taking the severely broken Suzerains as troops.

Don't forget, this is all for only 125 points more than [[Marneus Calgar|M.A.C. daddy]], further proof of 30k superiority.

====30K Roboute Guilliman VS Other 30K Primarchs====
<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">
Primarch fighting, while fun to see, isn't a very competitive thing to do as it'll usually tie up both Primarchs for the entire game without either of them dying. With that in mind this section is all about how Roboute Guilliman fares against other Primarchs mathhammer wise. Please note that all the various abilities, with the exception of Blind, are taken into account (Blind is ignored because it is just too random and unreliable to come into play) and the match-ups assume the Primarchs are the only ones involved in the fighting, so various abilities like Angron's "The Butcher's Nails" and Rampage do not provide any bonuses. Also do note that Preternatural Strategy is taken into account (obviously) so prepare to see even more mathhammer than for the other Primarchs.
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">

* Roboute Guilliman VS Horus
**Horus will use his Talon of Horus (rerollable 3+ is better than flat 2+, and Disabling Strike can counter the slow-burn effect of Preternatural Strategy) and hits 4 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.778 after saves, then 1.564 for the Armour of Reason and IWND will take that down to 1.231 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.222 times (Gladius), 0.74 wounds after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.407.
**Guilliman loses this fight (Quite appropriately).
**Note: Due to the nature of the fight this match doesn't take into account Preternatural Strategy (Because it is balanced by Disabling Strike). Also do note that after the first few wounds inflicted from Horus, Guilliman will have his S significantly reduced and the Gladius Incandor will become useless. However, Disabling Strike doesn't affect the Hand of Dominion, so Guilliman will still wound Horus on a 2+.

* Roboute Guilliman VS Angron
**Angron Round 1: Angron has Hatred, so on the first turn he will hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 2.222 after saves, 2.008 after Armour of Reason re-roll and IWND take it down to 1.675.
**Angron Round 2: Angron hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves, 1.453 after re-roll and IWND will take that down to 1.12 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 3 and thereafter: Angron hits 3 times, wounds 2.5 times, 1.25 after saves and 1.036 after the re-roll. Then IWND take it down to 0.703.
**Guilliman Round 1/2/3: hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.222 times, 0.926 times after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.59 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 4 and thereafter: hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.963 times, 1.234 times after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.9 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Unsurprisingly, Guilliman loses this fight in 6 rounds, dying directly before he's able to kill Angron as even though he has an extra wound on Angron, he takes too much damage.

* Roboute Guilliman VS Fulgrim
**Fulgrim Round 1: hits 4.861 times (Fireblade is MC), wounds 3.601 times (Child of Terra Warlord Trait), 1.801 times after the Invuln, 1.582 after the Armour of Reason and IWND will take that down to 1.249 at the start of the next turn.
**Fulgrim Round 2 and thereafter: hits 3.714 times, wounds 2.889 times, 1.445 times after the Invuln, 1.226 after the re-roll and IWND will take that down to 0.893 at the start of the next turn.
**Concussed Fulgrim (cannot happen earlier than round 3): Hits 2.708 times, wounds 2.106 times, 1.053 times after the invuln, 0.845 after the re-roll and IWND will take that down to 0.56 wounds.
**Guilliman with Gladius Incandor Round 1/2: hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.222 times, 0.74 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.407 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman with Gladius Incandor Round 3 and thereafter: hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.963 times, 0.988 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.654 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman with Hand of Dominion Round 1/2: hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.083 times, 0.694 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.361 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman with Hand of Dominion Round 3 and thereafter: hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.777 times, 0.926 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.593 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**An unsurprising loss for Guilliman. If Guilliman chooses to use the Gladius Incandor, Fulgrim will out-damage him in the long run, and if he chooses to concuss Fulgrim, Fulgrim temporarily loses his extra attacks, but Guilliman cannot put out enough damage to keep Fulgrim concussed, meaning Fulgrim gets back up to his normal initiative, gains his extra attacks back, and beats down Guilliman.

* Roboute Guilliman VS Mortarion
**Mortarion hits 2.5 times, wounds 1.666, 0,833 after saves, 0.625 wounds after Armor of Reason, and after IWND it becomes 0.292 wounds.
**Guilliman Round 1: hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.083 times, 1.042 after saves, and IWND take it down to 0.486.
**Guilliman Round 2 and after: hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.777 times, 1.388 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.833.
**Easy win for Guilliman.

* Roboute Guilliman VS Ferrus
**Ferrus: hits 2.5 times (Forgebreaker and Servo-Harm), wounds 2.083 times, 1.042 after the Invuln, 0.834 times after the re-roll and IWND will take that down to 0.501 at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 1: hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.083 times (Hand), 0.694 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.361 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 2 and thereafter: hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.778 times, 0.926 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.593 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman wins this fight.

* Roboute Guilliman VS Konrad Curze
**Curze Round 1: hits 4 times, wounds 3 times, 1.5 times after the Invuln, 1.286 times after the re-roll and IWND will take that down to 0.953 at the start of the next turn.
**Curze Round 2 and thereafter: hits 3 times, wounds 2.25 times, 1.125 times after the Invuln, 0.911 times after the re-roll and IWND will take that down to 0.578 at the start of the next turn
**Guilliman Round 1/2: hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.222 times, 1.111 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.778 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 3 and thereafter: hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.963 times, 1.481 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.148 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman easily wins this fight.
**Note: Konrad could attempt to even the odds with Hit and Run, negating Preternatural Strategy while gaining the +1 attack for the charge (and sniping some wounds with his knives), but so long as Guilliman uses his power fist by the second round of combat Curze will be locked to initiative 1 and will be dead before it's guaranteed he'll be able to leave combat.

* Roboute Guilliman VS Vulkan
**Vulkan hits 2 times, wounds 1.667 times, 0.833 times after saves, 0.633 times after Armour of Reason and IWND will take that down to 0.3.
**Guilliman Round 1: hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.083 times, 0.694 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.139 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 2 and thereafter: hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.778 times, 0.926 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.37 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**A long as fuck fight, but Guilliman takes the win 'cause he does marginally more damage.

* Roboute Guilliman VS Lorgar
**Lorgar hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.083 times, 1.042 times after the Invuln, 0.834 after the re-roll and IWND will take that down to 0.501.
**Guilliman Round 1: hits 2.778 times, wounds 1.85 times, 0.926 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.593 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 2 and thereafter: hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.963 times, 1.48 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.15 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Even with forcing Guilliman to re-roll 5's and 6's for the first round Lorgar will still lose.
**Note: this doesn't take into account Psychic Powers and with Precognition on Lorgar will easily win. Guilliman's rerollable DtW doesn't do shit, as it only works against witchfires and maledictions, while Lorgar's most powerful spells are blessings.

*Roboute Guilliman VS Perturabo
**Perturabo Round 1: hits 2.667 times, wounds 2.222 times, 1.111 times after the Invuln, 0.911 times after the re-roll and IWND will take that down to 0.578.
**Perturabo Round 2 and thereafter: hits 2 times, wounds 1.667 times, 0.833 times after the Invuln, 0.633 after Armour of Reason and IWND will take that down to 0.3.
**Guilliman Round 1/2: hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.222 times, 0.74 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.407 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 3 and thereafter: hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.963 times, 0.988 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.654 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Again, Guilliman wins pretty safely. Starting to see a trend here.

* Roboute Guilliman VS Alpharius
**Alpharius hits 2.917 times and wounds 1.702 times (Remember he has Preferred Enemy), 0.851 wounds after the Invuln, 0.643 after Armour of Reason and IWND will take that down to 0.31 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 1: hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.222 times, 1.111 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.778 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 2 and thereafter: hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.963 times, 1.482 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.148 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman wins really easily, as the damage Alpharius does is almost irrelevant, thus making the claim that he personally killed the lord of the Alpha Legion actually believable...

* Roboute Guilliman VS Rogal Dorn
**Dorn Round 1: hits 2.666 times, wounds 2 times, 1 time after the Invuln, 0.8 wounds after the re-roll and IWND will take that down to 0.467 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Dorn Round 2 and thereafter: hits 2 times, wounds 1.5 times, 0.75 wounds after the Invuln, 0.55 after the re-roll and IWND will take that down to 0.217 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 1/2: hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.222 times, 1.111 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.778 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 3 and thereafter: hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.963 times, 1.482 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.148 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman easily wins this fight, taking a lot less damage and dishing out more.
**Note: Dorn doesn't use Sundering Blow because he would actually cause less damage with it.

* Roboute Guilliman VS Corvus Corax
**Corvus hits 4 times (Scourge)/3 times (Shadow-walk), wounds 3 times (Scourge)/2.25 times (Shadow-walk), causing 1.5 wounds (Scourge)/1.125 wounds (Shadow-walk) after the Invuln which drop down to 1.286 (Scourge)/0.911 (Shadow-walk) and IWND will take that down to 0.953 (Scourge)/0.578 (Shadow-walk) wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 1: 2.5/1.666 times, wounds 2.0833/1.389 times, 1.389/0.926 wounds after saves and 1.055/0.593 wounds after IWND.
**Guilliman Round 2 and thereafter: hits 3.333/2.5 times, wounds 2.963/2.083 times, 1.975/1.389 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.642/1.055 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman easily wins this fight
**Note: Like Curze, Corax could try to use Hit and Run to even the odds, having even more bonus than Curze thanks to his uber-Furious Charge, but unlike Curze it wouldn't work for too long as the second time they fight (whether Corax charges or Guilliman catches him) Guilliman will have him concussed (He's using his fist for a reason) for the rest of the fight and will kill him before Corax can escape again, thus making the strategy not viable against Papa Smurf.

* Roboute Guilliman vs. Leman Russ
** Leman Round 1 & 2 (using the Axe of Helwinter): Hits 4.886 times, wounds 4.071 times, 2.035 after the Invuln, 1.817 after the re-roll with IWND taking that down to 1.484 at the start of the next turn.
** Leman Round 3 and on (using the Axe of Helwinter): Hits 3.719 times, wounds 3.099 times, 1.55 after the Invuln, 1.331 after the re-roll with IWND taking that down to 0.998 at the start of the next turn.
** Roboute Round 1 and Round 4+ (using the Hand of Dominion): Hits 1.667 times, wounds 1.389 times, 0.695 wounds after saves, and IWND will take that down to 0.362 wounds at the start of the next turn.
** Roboute Round 2 & 3: Hits 0.833, wounds 0.694 times, 0.3472 wounds after saves, and IWND will take that down to 0.014 wounds at the start of the next turn.
** Result: It's not even a challenge. Leman Russ kills Rowboat Girlyman almost effortlessly. What do you expect from trying to go up against The Emperor's Executioner(of primarchs). That furry fucker was designed from the ground up to kill every primarch in the entire game.

* TL;DR version: Surprisingly, despite being one the best army buffers amongst Primarchs and his generally not outstanding (for a Primarch) stats, Guilliman is actually a beast in 1 on 1 fights if they drag on long enough, beating all but the most specialised Primarchs and mathematically losing only to Horus, Angron, Fulgrim and Leman Russ. Truth is that he's very well balanced with a choice of good weapons for offense, a decent defense and an extra ability that benefits both. He loses when his more balls out brothers just dump damage on him but when he has the chance to let his strategy impact the fight he'll typically win. He'll likely fall down the rankings some more when Sanguinius and the Lion step onto the field but with his army buffs he'll remain a great choice.
</div></div>

===40K Guilliman===

[[Image:GUILLIMAN2017.jpg|400px|thumb|right|[[Matt Ward]] is having an orgasm right now... as are many [[Ultramarines]] players. [[Rape|Suffice to say, he is a unstoppable force of undiluted assfuckery. Be afraid. Be very afraid. ]]]]
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoLs0V8T5AA ''We can rebuild him. We have the technology...'']

[[Awesome|''"Why do I still live? What more do you want from me? I gave everything I had to you, to them. Look what they have made of our dream. This bloated, rotten carcass of an empire is driven not by reason and hope, but by fear, hate and ignorance. Better that we had all burned in the fire of Horus' ambition than lived to see this."'' <br>]]
― Guilliman is back, and he wants to know what the fuck went so wrong with the Imperium.

The first Loyalist Primarch to come back to 40K, Lord Commander of the Imperium, clad in the Armour of Fate, a present from Cawl that brought him out of stasis. He wields his old gauntlet, the Hand of Dominion, with his "Bolter" (a gun that would put any Heavy Bolter to shame) now underslung and carries no less than the [[Emperor's Sword]].

Encompassing the Ultramarines philosophy, Guilliman is a jack of all trades, but he's no master-of-none: what he does, he does it very well.

With 9 wounds, he is just below the threshold allowing enemy units to target him if not the closest unit, even if he is a towering monster. With T6 and and 2+/3++, he's really hard to bring down with small arms fire (a successful Bolter shot only has 5% chance to wound him successfully, a Lasgun 2.7%, and this is without taking into account accuracy) and his high invulnerable save allows him to tank stronger shots. Don't except him to handle a Volcano Cannon, though. If he eventually goes down, he comes back on a 4+ with D6 wounds, but unlike in 7th, this can only be done once per battle, even if the roll is failed. On small point games, you can use him as a fire magnet, at higher point you can be sure your opponent will do whatever is in his power to bring him down, so shield him accordingly. This will not be a waste as surrounding units will greatly be enhanced by his auras. As a Character he does benefits from the Honor Guard's protection, so you can mimic the "old" Victrix guard.

While away from the enemy, Guilliman can pump 3 S6 AP-1 W2 shots 24 inches away (6 at 12). This will bring pain to light infantry and can inflict serious damage to multi-wound weak-save units such as Tyranid Warriors, but the -1 AP will not allow him to do more than token damages to heavily armored foes, so don't waste your shots on 2+ enemies or tanks. With his 2+ BS, rerolling all failed shots AND wound rolls thanks to the XIII Primarch's rule, most of the shoots will hit their target (84% of the time at rapid fire range) and if you choose your target wisely, most will wound too.

Guilliman will hit with the same accuracy and re-rolls in close combat, where he really shines. He can choose to split his 6 attacks between the Emperor's sword, striking at S8 AP-4 3 D with a chance on a to-wound roll of 6 to inflict an additional D3 mortal wounds, or S12 AP-3 3 D if he uses the Hand of Dominion. Most of the time, you'll be using the Sword as up to T4 he wounds on a 2+, and up to T7 on a 3+, and you'll benefit from the higher AP and the chance to deal extra mortal wounds. Keep the Gauntlet for T8 and more, where the 4+ and 5+ start to kick in. At T7 (or T8), you'll need to factor in the armor save of the target, and of course his capacity to reroll failed wound. I let you do number crunching, you lazy hog. Coupled with his high armor saves, almost nothing in the game short of Knights will beat him in close combat one on one, though he'll die a horrible death to squads of TH/SS Terminators and such. He is also not that great against hordes with morale boosts, as he has lost his Sweeping Strike ability, so make sure your other troops clean the path to help him focus on high value targets.

But as impressive as his martial skills are, Guilliman is depicted in the fluff as first and foremost a tactician, and he has the special rules to back this up.

First, as the Warlord in a battleforged army, he gives 3 additional command points, which is huge, allowing to rack up easily 10+ command points even in small points games. This is even more pronounced with Ultramarines, whose Warlord Trait also allows him the chance to recycle used command points.

Second, he allows all Imperium units (not just Ultramarines, Imperium as a whole) within 12 inches to:

*Advance 1" further
*Charge 1" further
*Reroll ALL hit rolls of 1
*Reroll failed morale tests (although potentially ending with a worse result, so use at your own risk).

As the Ultramarines special snowflake, he also has a 6" bubble that allows a re-roll for all failed rolls to hit AND wound , which, has explained above, also applies to him.

He has one major flaw, though, he cannot ride any transport, as he's classified as a Monster and not an infantry unit for some reason, not even in a Mastodon or a Thunderhawk. Maybe he wasn't too keen on being dragged in the air, hanging on the Dreadnought grapple. That would have been quite a sight. He has no option to deepstrike either, so he's doomed to footslog, even though his high movement of 8 mitigate this a little. On the bright side on things, you can't buff your army while in a transport, so you didn't want to put him in a metal bawks anyway.

TL;DR: Guilliman is a monstrosity and point for point one the best units in the game, being at the same time resilient, fast, deadly in close combat, no slouch in shooting and a nice force multiplier for any Imperial Force.

In terms of the model, per GW's typical modus operandi lately, it's absurdly overdesigned to make things difficult for the recasters and chinamen of the world, showing that despite GW's consumer friendly steps as of late, pulling in money always comes above common sense or consistency. However, this sort of this type of over designing does happen to favor the filthy heretic, as there have been plenty of bitchin conversions by chaos players, [[Ferrus Manus|lopping off his head]], replacing it with an appropriately sized ugly chaos faction head of their choosing, filing off the Smurf iconography, and then painting it with whatever grungy/fabulous colour scheme that looks passable, and presto! You now have yourself a possessed/empowered/favoured Chaos Lord!

==Nicknames==

Roboute has so many nicknames that, if we're being honest, they deserve their own section at this point. His many nicknames include but are no means limited to:

*Rowboat Girlyman
*Robust Girlyman
*Roman Gorillaman
*Rawbutt Girlyman
*Robobutt Gigatan
*Rampant Gullytan
*Robot Gigglytan
*Raw-Rigged Ginger-Fan
*Robot Gulliver
*Robo Git
*Robust Gilligan
*Robit Ghillie Suit
*Reboot Gigabyte
*Robert Gullible
*Roboot Girlymayne
*Robot Gorillaman
*Robooty Guillotine
*Rawnut Jellyman
*Roman Gogillian
*Rusty the Gullible
*R. Gooliman, Esq.
*Robalybobaly Guilabywibbalyman
*Rowrowrowyourboat Gentlydownthestreamlyman
**Every possible combination of the above
*Really Gay
*Julius Caesar ''in SPESS''
*Big Blue Daddy
*Papa Ultra Smurf
*Bobby G.
*Big Bobby G.
*Rob
*Raw Booty Girlyman
*Ward's Ever Chosen Robart
*Your [[Spiritual Liege]]

{{Primarchs}}

[[Category:Imperial]]

Eldrad

2017-12-11T14:04:17Z

2600:1006:B10C:1CE2:82E:577B:6477:C106: /* History */

{{awesome}}
[[Image:450px-EldradThroneworld.jpg|thumb|right|350px|Helmetless Eldrad, looking suspiciously like Mon'Keigh actor Hugo Weaving. What are the odds? 5 to 1 that GW gets sued again in the near future.]]
'''Eldrad Ulthran''' is renowned as the most powerful [[psyker]] of an entire race of powerful psykers, the [[Eldar]], and is the Chief [[Farseer]] of [[Craftworld]] [[Craftworld Ulthwé|Ulthwé]]. He is awfully fond of engaging in overly elaborate plots to tweak the balance of fate, presumably to preserve the Eldar as a species. Also, he engages in only the highest forms of dickishness, as the accounts from one of his retinue warlocks attest. Possibly father to Farseers [[Taldeer]] and [[Macha]]. [[Love Can Bloom]] is ambiguous on the matter, but current [[/tg/]] canon operates on the assumption that he is.

Some time ago, [[Abaddon the Despoiler]] led an assault on craftworld Ulthwé, to attack the Eldar Farseer Council there. After slowly slogging through the Craftworld while his [[Black Legion]] suffered massive casualties as the Eldar picked them off in hit and run attacks, Abaddon finally got to the council, but found Eldrad waiting for him. Eldrad quickly made a mockery of Abaddon's combat skill; he dodged Abaddon's strikes with the daemon sword Drach'nyen and the Talon of Horus with ease. In just two strikes, Eldrad cleaved through Abaddon's Terminator armor with virtually no effort and separated him from his arms. The Eldar then stuffed the remainder of the attack force into a [[Dreadclaw]] with "Failbaddon the Armless Failboat" as well as other demeaning terms and images painted all over it and launched it back into the [[Eye of Terror]] while laughing hysterically. And that is why Abaddon has no arms.

As of the 13th Black Crusade, Eldrad is getting more active. After stealing the crystallized bodies of Farseers from every Craftworld, he attempted to prematurely summon [[Ynnead]], the yet-to-be-born Eldar god of Death who would save them from [[Slaanesh]] before every single Eldar dies, which was when it was supposed to be born. When the [[Deathwatch]] intervened in the Battle of Port Demesnus, Eldrad was forced to flee, marking one of many times ''he himself was out-dicked'' by Space Marines. Said summoning required the bodies of several Crystal Seers, and when Ulthwe's Seer Council learned of it only the intervention of the Ynnari and the Harlequins saved him from being executed. Instead, he was then was exiled from the Craftworld on pain of death if he returned.

Currently a member of the Ynnari, joining their quest to bring forth Ynnead in its full power with the Croneswords. He is one of the Eldar that guided the survivors of Cadia on Kalisus to Macragge to ressurect [[Roboute Guilliman]]. In this way, the fates of two most prominent dicks in the galaxy intwined.

He used to be presumed dead, eaten by Slaanesh during the [[13th Black Crusade]]. [[Meme|He got better]] in 6th edition.

==History==

The only thing known of Eldrad's life, before becoming trapped on the path of the Seer, was that he used to be a musician, and apparently still has quite an ear for that kind of stuff. Although he is most well-known as the High Farseer of Ulthwe, he did not being that way, and his time on the Seer Council of Ulthwe was a surprisingly violent one.

Whilst he served on the Seer Council, but before actually becoming its High Farseer, Eldrad had a bizarre tendency to get his female superiors killed on missions, often just as a Phoenix Lord arrived. This occured twice in the days before the Great Crusade, first when Eldrad and an older female Farseer journeyed with Asurmen to try to find a legendary Exodite Oracle. Said Oracle, believed to have been the first Eldar to ever forsee, turned out to be a Keeper of Secrets in disguise and, in the ensuing fight, killed Eldrad's superior. This pattern was repeated when Jain Zar visited the Craftworld, advising it against attacking a nascent Ork Waaagh, which the Crafworld's, at the time, most senior Farseer agreed with. Eldrad, however, wanted to attack and destroy said Waaagh, convincing the Craftworld to follow him and rousing the Avatar of Khaine. Despite all this the attack was a total failure, with the High Farseer dying, the Avatar of Khaine being destroyed (in one of its earliest defeats) and Eldrad himself almost being killed. In the end it was only because Jain Zar decided to intervene that the entire attack didn't fail. In the aftermath, though, despite his colossal cock up, Eldrad's arrogance continued to rub Jain Zar the wrong way, and he refused to allow the former High Farseer's Spirit Stone into the Infinity Circuit, deciding he could make better use of it personall (which probably means it just got chucked into his big collecion of tokens).

Were these simple coincidences or Eldrad's way of conniving his way to the top by ensuring his superiors all met with tragic fates? The answer to that probably depends on how much of a dick, and how competent, you think Eldrad is, although it is true that one skill he certainly has is getting other Eldar killed. To be fair, he might have foreseen early on that he needed to be High Farseer. Which, in hindsight, was important to stopping their shitty galaxy from getting even shittier. Of course, he also helped keep it from getting better but that is preferable to everything getting worse.

After ascending to the position of High Farseer Eldrad would try to interfere in the course of the Horus Heresy a few times, rarely to much success. First he attempted to warn Fulgrim of Horus' corruption but failed, costing the life of one of Ulthwe's greatest Wraithlords and his friend, and also seeing the Avatar of Khaine slain yet again on his watch when Fulgrim throttled it (one assumes that Ulthwe's Seer Council has become a bit suspect about letting Eldrad use the Avatar since he seems to always come back with it broken). He aided John Grammaticus and Vulkan, making clear also that he opposed the plan of the Cabal. Apparently, according to him, at some point he and Vulkan did something together which resulted in Vulkan giving him a Salamander's tooth, probably to join the huge collection of knick-nacks Eldard has along with the former High Farseer's Spiritstone.

Following the Heresy Eldrad next interfered in the affairs of the Galaxy when he and the Seers of Ulthwe allowed a group of Harlequins to infiltrate the Imperial Palace during the height of the War of the Beast. It is not exactly clear what he hoped to gain from this, as the Harlequins all died save one and the only message she delivered was to say that Chaos was the real threat, whilst Orks were literally moments away from destroying Terra, so its not clear how any of this really helped anyone. Maybe he really wanted those Harlequins dead and this was, somehow, the best way to do it. Or, the more plausible theory, Eldrad is just really bad at getting things done.

Since then Eldrad has been involved in a few events; he saved Saim-hann from a Hrud infestation, tried to forewarn Iyanden of the invasion of the Tyranid, defeated the Ork Warboss Nazdreg and also took part in the battle of Blood and Tears. He seemed particularly invested in the small Craftworld of Idharae, engineering the entire 2nd War of Armageddon to save said Craftworld, although it amounted to nothing in the end as the Invaders Space Marine Chapter simply destroyed Idharae instead. So much for that.

Indeed Eldrad has a poor reputation when facing off against Space Marines, beginning with his battle against Fulgrim. On Maedrax the Ulthwe forces under his direction were mauled by a single Blood Angels Battle Barge and failed in their mission to stop an awakening Necron Dynasty. He has had more luck when working with Space Marines, such as when he interfered to save Blood Angels Chief Librarian Mephiston.

In many ways it was Eldrad, along with Abaddon, who started the whole set of events which have lead to the changes beginning in the Gathering Storm. Showcasing his extreme level of dickishness Eldrad stole Crystal Seers from every single Craftworld and endangered the entire Eldar species in an abortive attempt to awaken Ynnead which failed when Death Watch Captain Artemis beat him and his Harlequin associates. Rather than a full awakening only a shard of Ynnead stirred, settling within Yvraine, and beginning the entire Fracture of Biel-tan storyline.

Since his act of incredible treason Eldrad has been involved in aiding he Ynnari and been removed from the Seer Council of Ulthwe, instead now moving with a small roving group of followers, interfering where he sees fit, and taking missions from the Primarch Roboute Guilliman. He did return to aid his home when it was invaded by Kairos Fatweaver though, assisting them in banishing an attempt by Daemons of Tzeentch to attack the Craftworld.

==Explanation==
Where did Eldrad’s reputation for being such a dick come from?

"i am the incarnate of A MASSIVE DICK" -eldrad's personal war chant.

He gives candy to young races.

And that candy will contain a slow-spreading gingivitis bacteria that will fester in the new race and slowly spread amongst their entire species. The gum pain will be considered a normal part of everyday life, and they will regularly take painkillers.

When the [[Tyranid|’Nids]] invade them in 3000 years, they too will be infected by the gingivitis disease—but they are mindless beasts, who know nothing of painkillers. Living in constant pain, only worsened by eating, this massive hive of ’Nids will starve and become extinct, a result of their own adaptation abilities.

And of course, Craftworld Ulthwé would have been the next target for that particular hive to eat. [[Just as planned|Just. As. Planned.]]

And that is why Eldrad is a dick. [[Asdrubael Vect|There is only one mortal being in 40k who is a bigger dick than Eldrad]].

==The Stories==
[[Image:Eldrad_Ulthran_6th_Ed.jpg|thumb|right|Mountain of psychic rape.]]
{{story}}
So, Eldrad Ulthran is a dick. It seems shocking to hear and I know he is the guiding light of our people, but in all honesty, he's a total dick.

I know this because I served with him. You see, I am a Warlock. You can imagine my excitement when I was first assigned to his retinue. I took no heed to the fact his last set of Warlocks supposedly died in "a most ironic manner". I was young back then, only over 9000, and naive.

As soon as I met Eldrad in person he gave me my first order: "find a howling banshee exarch, and a witch blade for yourself, we are going to Setrus Prime (as the mon-keigh call it)." He actually said the parentheses by leaning forward and placing a hand beside his mouth to direct his voice to me alone. He is kind of a douche that way, we were in the room alone.

Anyway, Eldrad, the banshee exarch and I sortie to the planet's surface. I project some illusory cover to shield our hiding spot and the exarch and I await more orders. Before us a great battle is being waged between a force of the mon-keigh Space Marines and our fallen brethren, the Dark Eldar. About 20 minutes into the battle Eldrad points to a pebble by his foot and says "Move this small stone to where I am pointing now." He points to an innocuous patch of ground. Dumbfounded but trusting, I do as he says. No sooner had I reached cover did a Space Marine bike roar past me, straight over the pebble. The mighty treads of the bike's wheels fling the pebble up into an empty stretch of air. It hangs there for a moment, then a Dark Eldar reaver rushes into it, the pebble sucked into its jet intake. The reaver sputters then bursts into flames, accelerating rapidly, right into a Talos. The Talos was not of regular design, not that any ever are. This one was a mass of spinning blades with a screaming humanoid in its center, the body of which was too mutilated to even identify its race.

I might mention at this point that Eldrad has not turned to look at the ensuing chaos, instead he is staring in the direction of myself and our howling banshee companion.

When the reaver hit the talos, all hell broke loose as the twirling saws of the unsavory machine broke free like angry daemons being exorcised. I saw one blade, bouncing and racing directly towards us at ludicrous speeds. And I am an Eldar, I know speed. I brace my witch blade for the impact readying myself to take the blow, to save the farseer in my protection. The blades hit and both the saw and the witch blade veer off directly towards the banshee exarch. Both blades merely graze her, just deep enough to cut the restraints that hold her costume on. As her armour falls away exposing her breasts, I realize why Eldrad was staring at her. He giggles, then orders a full retreat.

What a dick.

----

So Eldrad is a huge dick, but I think I have proven that by now. What I haven't told you is that he is, without a doubt, the greatest psyker in the universe.

I never saw this more exemplified than when we went to deal with a splinter fleet of Hive Fleet Leviathan. The first thing Eldrad did was use his massive reservoir of power to redirect the entire hive fleet 0.3 degrees off course. At first we had no idea why, but he assured us there was a reason. 134 years later we encountered the swarm again, and now we saw his plan, the fleet was heading straight into a desolate backwater planet. Using yet more of his might, Eldrad hid the entire planet from the fleet's sight. This caused the entire hive fleet to crash square into the planet's surface. He then called for me and the rest of his retinue to sortie down to the planet, we had a mission.

Once on the surface the bleeding husks of charred hive ships loomed over us like cold organic volcanoes. And then in a clearing, we found our quarry, a mighty hive tyrant, its psychic eminence clouding my own mind like a thick whispering fog. Eldrad was not taken aback in the slightest, he stepped forward, unarmed, right into the clutches of the hive tyrant. He then began to emulate the hive tyrant's psychic powers, only at a much higher magnitude. He had made himself into a synapse creature of immense power. So much so he brow beat the mighty tyranid into submission. He then turned to us, tyranid leader in tow, and said, "We are returning, we have what we came for." Although impressed by Eldrad's mastery of the mind, we all could not stop pondering his master plan. Why would he need such a mighty beast? It was not till the next morning that I knew. Pasted throughout the ENTIRE CRAFTWORLD were pictures of the titanic monstrosity and its... titanic monstrosity resting on my face as I slept. I never even knew tyranids had genitalia.

What a dick.

----
[[Image:EldradWhataDick.jpg|thumb|left|400px|What a fucking dick.]]

You know, Eldrad Ulthran really is a dick. I've said it before, and I have absolutely no doubt that I will say it again. He has skill and power of heights that are only reachable, even for most Eldar, in their dreams, and how does he use them? He uses them like this:

Years ago, a minor Ork Waaagh sprung up and launched itself against the Mon-Keigh world they call Lentak II. It's an insignificant planet by any definition except, apparently, Eldrad's. He summoned me and told me we were going to Lentak, and that it was of the utmost importance to see that a certain battle took a particular course. He also told me to bring along the best sniper I could find, adding that "He might come in handy," with a wink like he was passing on some kind of secret message. Typical Eldrad behavior, that.

So, we get down to the surface of Lentak and locate the "important" battle, in a rocky pass high up in a mountain range. Eldrad isn't wearing his helmet, the better to display the horribly annoying half-smile that's on his face the whole time, the one he puts on when he knows something you don't and is about to use that information. I'm busy projecting an illusion to keep the Mon-Keigh and the Orks from noticing us, Eldrad and the sniper are just watching the battle from the rock outcrop where we're standing. Finally, Eldrad points at a particular Ork nob riding in the back of one of their wartrukks.

"That one. Take off his ear. His *left* ear. Right...now."

The sniper fires, cleanly severing the Ork's ear. The thing roars like the beast it is, looks around, and smacks the Ork beside it right off the back of the bouncing vehicle. The fallen Ork doesn't even have time to stop rolling before it gets run over by another Ork on a warbike; the bike nearly crashes, and one of the bombs sitting in a rack near the back bounces loose and falls to the ground. Eldrad looks at it, nods in satisfaction, and motions for us to leave.

Five of the Mon Keigh years pass. Five blessed, beloved years, in which I do not hear or see Eldrad a single time. I don't know where he was, or what he does when he's not busy being a dick; probably off seducing Tau or members of whatever other young race has caught his fancy recently. Anyway, those five years pass all too quickly, and then Eldrad comes back, contacts me, and tells me we're going back to Lentak II, just the two of us. This, of course, sets my teeth on edge, because I know he's going to do something unbearably dickish, but I can't exactly refuse the most important Farseer of my Craftworld.

Sure enough, we wind up back in that same mountain pass, watching a column of Imperial Guard troops march past. This time, we're down at roughly the same level as the guardsmen, but since there are only two of us, it's easy for me to project sufficient camouflage. Good thing, because Eldrad sure wasn't helping. I notice that the wreckage from the battle years ago hasn't been completely cleaned; some has been pushed up against the walls of the pass, some hasn't.

I belatedly remember the fallen bomb and start to look for it, but before I can spot it, a Chimera with a commissar riding in its open hatch finds it on its own. The explosion bounces the vehicle into the air, and the unsecured commissar goes flying. Shrapnel flies towards us and I dodge, rolling across the ground to avoid the splintered metal.

When I look up, I see Eldrad, standing with the sunrise behind him, posed like a statue with his head high and his fists on his hips. An instant later, the commissar's hat lands right on his head. And Eldrad, the dick, holds the pose and smirks at me. I almost dropped the illusion and let the mon-keigh kill us both, but then I realized Eldrad would probably have some way of escaping even that.

Never in my nearly twenty thousand years of life have I met a bigger dick than Eldrad Ulthran.

----

So, I've already told you about how Eldrad Ulthran is a dick. You've heard it all, all the sad stories... except, of course, you haven't, because Eldrad constantly generates more indignities to pile upon me. I thought he'd give me a break after the incident on Tissalk Secunda; he really went too far on that one, and after they finally stopped laughing, the rest of the expeditionary force were giving him some funny looks. I thought he wouldn't do anything else so soon. I was wrong.
[[Image:One just for the fatguys by Mr Culexus.jpg|thumb|What a dick!]]
With the Grey Ones rising again to wage war against all life, many of our priorities have been shifted to meet this resurgent threat. Thus, when Eldrad said he was working on a project and needed the body of a Necron warrior, everyone assumed he meant it was for research into some kind of weapon to use against them. Under any other circumstances, getting the order from Eldrad to gather a raiding group together would have filled me with fear that I was going to be the butt of another joke, but even Eldrad has to be serious where the ancient enemy is concerned... right?

Besides, to be honest, I was too busy being afraid of the Grey Ones to worry about whatever dickish maneuver Eldrad must be planning. I've faced the mon-keigh, the Orks, our fallen brethren, and the horrors of the Warp, and such foes do not frighten me, but the soulless enemy does. They're so... cold. Nevertheless, let it not be said that I did not do my duty when called upon.

We flew almost to the edge of the galaxy; myself, my handpicked force, and Eldrad, who actually acted professionally during the long transit. I kept glancing over my shoulder, literally and metaphorically, expecting his true nature to assert itself, but we reached the tomb world without incident. We landed on that ancient soil, and all my senses were screaming at me to get back in the ship and get away, back to Ulthwe and (relative) safety. But we went further. We went down into a tomb, Eldrad opening the way for us.

Down in that darkness, I was more scared than I ever had been in my whole life, all 19,872 years of it; this was one of the most nerve-wracking (if not THE most nerve-wracking) tasks I'd ever been given as a member of Eldrad's retinue. Eldrad had a device with him, a band of wraithbone he claimed had taken him nearly a year to create; he told us that it would keep a Necron in stasis, regardless of what transpired. He also said that our presence wouldn't wake the tomb world; I just had to cling tight to my staff and pray that he was right. Naturally, Eldrad being Eldrad, we couldn't just grab the warrior closest to the entrance and run for it; we had to find the "right" one, which meant walking for nearly an hour into the tomb's depths before he finally selected one identical to every other warrior and locked the band around its head.

By the time we get back to the surface, which took even longer than going in because we dropped that heavy Necron no less than four times on the way back, I'm a bundle of nerves, and it only gets worse during the flight. I can't sleep inside our little ship, knowing that soulless killing machine is on board with us, knowing about the wars that they fought against our ancestors, and what kind of deaths the Eldar in those days met. It keeps running through my head that it's almost my birthday, that I'll soon be turning 19,873, and that I don't want to get snuffed out before I hit the twenty-thousand-year mark. That's no way for an Eldar to go.

The ship arrives back at Ulthwe the day before my birthday. Eldrad, grinning enigmatically, heads off to his workshop with the Necron, and I stumble up to my cozy dwelling bubble and fall straight into bed, still wearing the same warlock robes I've been wearing since the tomb world. Yes, it was nasty, like something a mon-keigh would do. I was so tired I didn't care. If that Necron wanted to get me, it'd have to fight through half of Ulthwe to reach me, coming from Eldrad's bubble complex. I slept at last.

Not that it helped much. In my dreams, I'm back in the tomb, with Grey Ones rising to life around me. I run, but I'm trapped; I try to fight, and I get torn into bleeding shreds. I wake up, feeling barely better than when I got off the mission ship, and realize that it's my birthday. Congratulations, self. Outside my bubble, I can sense the collected presence of family and friends, come to wish me success in my new year. Well, you only turn 19,873 once, so I drag myself out of bed, toss my grimy robes aside, and head for the shower; I figure a little session there should revive me enough to at least face my well-wishers graciously. I step through the bathroom door, pull back the shower curtain, and the Necron is in my shower cubicle.

THE NECRON IS IN MY SHOWER CUBICLE. Poised as if to strike, hands raised and clawed metal fingers spread - that memory is one I shall carry to the end of time.

I do the worst thing I possibly could. I panic. I scream at the top of my lungs and run headlong...out of the bathroom...out of my dwelling bubble...and come face-to-face with my birthday crowd. While wearing my "birthday suit," just like a scene from an embarrassing nightmare. There's a moment in which everyone goes silent - everyone except Eldrad, standing off to one side, his snickering audible to all.

I suspect that they'll still be talking about this when I turn 20,000. Thanks, Eldrad. Way to ruin my birthday.

What a dick.
----
[[Image:Eldrad ulthran by eupackardia-d6p4mvi.jpeg|thumb|left|350px|Live like a dick, dress like a fabulous dick.]]

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times - Eldrad’s a dick. It’s totally inconceivable to me just how much of a dick he can be sometimes...well, all the time, really. And for something to be inconceivable to me, that’s saying something, I’m an Eldar.

So this time, Eldrad summoned me to some contested planet on the outer rim and explained the situation. He said nothing of our mission except when I asked, but even then his answers were cryptic, as ever. I’d ask him what we would be doing on the planet, and he’d pause, then mumble incoherently, winking at me, or something like that. I thought at the time that the entire thing was just some ridiculous set-up that Eldrad was using to some trivial end, but what it was at the time, I couldn't fathom.

We departed for the surface with nothing but some poor guardian who probably had no idea what was about to happen. I concealed us against a hillside as we watched the carnage below. The forces of Chaos were attacking an Imperial outpost in the valley ahead of us, which appeared woefully outnumbered. I now realized the gravity of our situation - this planet contained one of the wraith gates that linked through the webway to every Eldar craftworld in existence. Were that to fall into the hands of Chaos...

And at that point, I felt guilty for doubting Eldrad. The greatest psyker in existence, one of the most powerful beings ever to roam the galaxy - and I had dismissed this mission out of hand. I now knew that we could not fail - we could not let the planet fall into the hands of Chaos!

The three of us made our way down the slope, within metres of the battle, concealed by my illusion the entire way. Unobservant of us, a Space Marine Dreadnought lumbered forward, engaging a squad of Chaos Space Marines. The infantry threw themselves against the armored hull, smashing and tearing as best they could, but to no avail - the dreadnought tore each marine apart, one by one.

Then, Eldrad turned to the guardian and made the strangest order I had ever heard, in all my 19,873 years. “Fire at the dreadnought. Its right knee.” The guardian looked in horror as he let loose the rain of shurikens from his catapult, knowing full well what would happen. A single shuriken pierced through the metal joint, and the dreadnought fell forward onto a stray grenade from a dead Chaos Space Marine, and the entire machine exploded in a dizzying spray of shrapnel. I held up my witchblade, averting what I could while my rune armor deflected the rest. Only a few bits of metal managed to scrape against my exposed face. I turned to face Eldrad, to ask the reason for destroying the enemy of those we were attempting to stop, when suddenly, my stomach sank, for two reasons.

One, he was giggling.

Two, a massive squad of fresh Chaos Marines, led by a massive demon, was charging over the hill towards our position.

I screamed at Eldrad to turn, but he simply continued giggling. The squad closed in, until it seemed that our fearless leader would find his end here, when suddenly, the marines scraped to a halt, each one with its eyes on me. One by one, the entire squad, including the demon began to giggle, then laugh, then roll on the ground, guffawing uncontrollably. Eldrad snorted, then ordered a retreat. As we left the planet, I saw the Space Marine barrage annihilate the demon and his squad, buying the defenses enough time to push back the attack. The planet was saved.

It wasn't until I got into my bathroom (and passed half the damn craftworld) that I realized that, upon my forehead, in impossibly perfect scratches and scrapes, were written the words “I SUCK TYRANID COCK.”

What a dick.

----
[[Image:Eldrad_a_dick_but_awesome_by_shadowseer66.png|thumb|right|300px|Sometimes an illusory dick. But still a dick.]]

So, Eldrad Ulthran is a huge dick. But you already know that, I say it every day, sometimes twice a day because he’s just that bad.

So, one day I’m hanging out at one of the bakeries in Ulthwé, eating lunch while trying to chat up a really cute Howling Banshee when Eldrad walks in. All of a sudden I hear a shout from the bakers (I think he was a Swooping Bagel Exarch) and a loud bang as one of the wraithovens in the back explodes. Out of nowhere a loaf of bread the size of my head comes flying out, rebounds off the wraithglass window, hits my drink and spills it all over my pants, and then sails right into Eldrad’s open hand. He just gives me this smirk and takes a huge bite. Now my pants are soaked and the cute Banshee is laughing at me.

What a dick.

After I’m thoroughly embarrassed, Eldrad announces that we were moving out, this time to Cadia. So an hour later I’m flying the long way there because Eldrad wants to spend the trip chatting up that cute Banshee. My pants are still wet because he never gave me a chance to change them.

After what seems like forever we finally land on Cadia near one of those massive parade grounds the humans love, Eldrad has the three of us cloaked under one of his illusions. Up on a huge podium one of their generals is shouting orders and chomping on a cigar. He’s got the biggest damn collar I've ever seen, even bigger than the one that Warlock who hangs out with Idranel has.

Anyway, Eldrad has us stand around and twiddle our thumbs for about an hour until he notices a commissar walking by to inspect the huge formation of humans. Eldrad turns to the cute Banshee and whispers something in her ear, and then all of a sudden she shoves me really hard on the back. I stumble forward, out of the illusion, and fall into the commissar, knocking him into the formation and sending ever single soldier toppling to the ground. Apparently one of those soldiers hit a Sentinel in just the right spot and it goes tumbling over into all of the others, which in turn collapse into the lines of tanks and transports like a massive game of wraithdominoes except for all the explosions. In a few seconds the entire parade is a massive flaming wreck.

While I’m frantically trying to get away from the commissar, who’s screaming about the ‘damned xenos,’ Eldrad drops the illusion and just shoots the biggest grin I've ever seen up at the human with the huge collar, who’s so angry that he practically swallows his cigar. Then the cute Banshee grabs hold of me and the three of us hightail it to the ship before the humans can start trying to kill us. As we’re flying away I notice the mass of burning wreckage somehow manages to spell out ‘CREED SUCKS.’ Eldrad just laughs to himself like it’s the funniest damned thing in the world as he takes his seat.

Then we realize that he’s sitting on a Leman Russ.

[[Creed|Ursarkar E. Creed]] smiles to himself as he pulls out a fresh cigar. [[Just as planned|“Just as planned.”]]

What a couple of dicks.

----
Eldrad Ultran is a dick. I think I’ve already mentioned that, but it’s definitely worth repeating. I was reminded of what a dick he is when we went to Karael-ton.

Karael-ton is an Exodite world famous because in their World Shrine they keep a stash of drugs from before the Fall. I think it’s to remind the Exodites that although their lives may be boring, at least they aren’t being raped to death by a newborn Chaos god. Anyway, one day we heard that Doomrider was coming to Karael-ton to steal the drugs and Eldrad decided that was a bad idea. Unfortunately we didn’t have enough forces to stop him so we had to do a deal with Asdrubael Vect, who just so happens to be the second biggest dick I’ve ever met. Eldrad is the first of course. Eldrad promised Vect that if he helped out he’d get a share of the drugs, which didn’t sound like a good idea if you ask me (which Eldrad didn’t).

Before we started fighting Doomrider and his Slaaneshi bros Eldrad took us on a detour to this old mon-keigh Astropathic relay station he’d dumped on Karael-ton the last time he was there, in clear violation of their ‘no littering’ policy. What a dick. Turns out Eldrad didn’t trust Vect and wanted to summon reinforcements from the Imperium to take out Doomrider and Vect. He told me to use the relay to contact the nearest Imperial world. I wasn’t okay with this for a number of reasons, especially when he told me I’d have to shave off all my hair to get hooked up to their psychic resonance machinery. Now I’m not some vain Wych, but I am fond of my hair. It’s long and dark, and it’s probably my most attractive feature.

Eventually I gave in and Eldrad shaved off all my hair. He had a big grin on my face when he was doing it which should have told me he was plotting something, but then he always has a big grin on in his face because he’s always plotting something. I tried to use the machinery, but it was wired up all wrong and partially damaged and it was designed for humans anyway. To cut a long story short, it gave me an enormous headache and it didn’t work at all. I thought Eldrad would be disappointed, but instead he just grinned and said “Oh, I didn’t expect it to work. That’s why I’ve already let the Imperials know we’re here using another technique.” What a dick.

The battle against Doomrider went pretty well. Eldrad set up some illusion so Doomrider saw a great big pile of cocaine and drove right for it. He passed straight through the illusion into a webway portal Eldrad had opened and ended up in the Courtyard of Peace and Tranquility on the Tau homeworld just as some kids were doing a poetry recital. It’s funny when it’s not happening to you, but Eldrad is still a dick.

Just then the Space Marines showed up and started attacking us. Eldrad and Vect were having a “who can be the biggest dick” competition trying to get each other’s armies destroyed. Somehow we still managed to win the battle and killed all the mon-keigh. I walked up to Eldrad, who was holding a big bag of drugs in one hand and playing with a Space Marine gun with the other. I asked what he was doing and he just smirked and handed the gun over to me. Then Vect appeared and demanded the drugs he’d been promised. Eldrad handed over the bag and at that moment a Vindicare assassin shot at us. My eldar reflexes are sharp and I could see the bullet arcing its way towards Vect’s head. Just then the human gun exploded in my hands. At first I thought Eldrad was repeating his “let’s give someone scars on their face that spell out a rude message” joke, but then I realised that it was a graviton gun and the explosion was making gravity do all sorts of weird stuff. The bullet was dragged off course and hit the bag of drugs straight on, utterly destroying it. I thought Vect was going to be furious, but he just laughed, slapped us on the back and wandered off. It was only two hours later that I found out he’d stuck a “kick me” sign on my back. What a dick.

And Eldrad? He was the biggest dick. The bag he’d given to Vect was another illusion. He’d hidden the real drugs in my room on the craftworld. My grandma found them when she came to visit and it was ''the most'' awkward conversation I’ve ever had to have. And all the time she was telling me off and looking all disapproving I could imagine Eldrad’s big stupid face grinning away. What a dick.

==Death of Eldrad==
<span style='color:pink;font-size:150%'> You think you know about Eldrad being a dick. [[A Song of Ice and Fire|You know nothing.]] </span>

<span style='color:pink;font-size:150%'>[[Slaanesh|I]] was going to partake of his juicy little soul, freshly ripped screaming from his body, when the little bastard managed to slip free and get away. I gave chase throughout the warp, thinking there was no way he could escape. He eventually came to a dead end, and I prepared to drink him in... </span>

<span style='color:pink;font-size:150%'>...and instead found myself guzzling [[Khorne]]'s piss. The little bastard had tricked me into drinking my arch-enemy's piss. If it had been anyone else, it would have been sexy as all hell. But he managed to cloak the blood god while he was taking a leak instead. </span>

<span style='color:pink;font-size:150%'>What a dick. </span>

Oh, and to top that off, I heard he was ghostwriting [[Tomb of Horrors|an AD&D module]] for [[Gary Gygax]].

==Current Activities ==
As of 8th edition, and his exile, Eldrad is pulling old strings while fighting alongside the Ynnari. Existing much like a Corsair fleet, Eldrad and his renegades now travel the galaxy, regularly offering sage wisdom or aid to those who fight against the overwhelming forces of Chaos(or occasionally getting into the fray himself, like during the War in the Labyrinth). Despite his exile when Daemonic forces invade the defenceless Ulthwé (due to Ulthwe sending its entire force to every corner of the galaxy in order to fight Chaos), Eldrad returned and kicked some major Chaos arse.

He also turns out to be a bit of a hoarder, with whole towers stuffed with all manner of strange nik naks and other totally pointless items, gifted to him over his long life, that he was apparently too polite to refuse but too lazy to dispose of (what a dick).

Yvraine has taken to making fun of him because of his old age. I tell you, these youngsters today, have absolutely no respect for their “Eldars”.

==This Dick On the Tabletop==
[[Image:EldradModel.jpg|thumb|right|350px|Be sure to highlight the dickishness when painting him.]]
{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || I || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Eldrad Ulthran:''' || 195 || 5 || 5 || 3 || 4 || 3 || 5 || 1(2) || 10 || -/3++
|}

Eldrad is probably THE mainstay special character for Eldar armies. As we all know, the dude is rivaled as a (non-[[Magnus the Red|cheese]]) psychic powerhouse only by [[Ahzek Ahriman]]: he's got Mastery Level 4, meaning that if you go for Psychic Focus and roll on a single table, you've got access to every power on there except for one (something his Tzeentchian peer can only do with the Tzeentch discipline since he has to generate at least one power from it). He knows [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Psychic 101#Daemonology|Sanctic Daemonology]], [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Psychic 101#Telepathy|Telepathy]], [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Psychic 101#Divination|Divination]], and, of course, [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Eldar(7E)#Runes of Fate|Runes of Fate]]. Whereas Ahriman is all about the volume when it comes to mind bullets, Eldrad is all about stability and reliability. He has the usual Farseer toys: Runes of the Farseer, which allows him to re-roll once per turn any number of dice on a psychic test or a Deny the Witch test, and a Ghosthelm, which allows him to spend a warp charge to nullify a wound caused by Perils of the Warp. So like any Farseer, he's already much less likely than other psykers to get turned inside out by daemons or to have his powers fizzle out, even when casting big WC3 stuff. Furthermore, his staff gives him a 33% chance to generate an extra warp charge every time he successfully casts a power; so not only does he have those 4-5 powers, but he's usually got the charges to use all of them.

Besides his psychic prowess, Eldrad also has some nifty wargear. Armour of the Last Runes gives him a 3++ Invulnerable save, which, coupled with his T4, allows him to take more punishment than the average Farseer, though his resilience still isn't anything to write home to Craftworld Ulthwé about. He's got a shuriken pistol (always good to have a Bladestorm weapon handy, and it's an extra close combat attack), a witchblade (Fleshbane! Always wounds on 2+), and let's not forget his all-important psyker disco stick, the Staff of Ulthamar, which is S-User (which doesn't really matter), AP3 AND has Fleshbane and Force. Anything he hits with it gets wounded on 2+, probably doesn't get an armor save, and dies instantly if you activate Force. Enough said. Oh, and his special rules are Fleet, Ancient Doom, Independent Character, Battle Focus, and Psyker. Naturally, his Warlord Trait is An Eye on Distant Events—because, you see, Eldrad is a dick.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:What'sthisinmyhand.jpg|He's a dick
Image:Eldrad shows abbadon who the boss of this gym is.jpg|He beat the shit out of [[Abaddon]] in close combat despite knowing full well what kind of reputation he had. What a dick.
Image:EldradCandy.jpg|Shas'la should always call for their nearest Shas'o if approached by a strange dick.
Image:Eldrad by astarsis86.jpg|He's a dick.
</gallery>

{{Eldar-Characters}}

[[Category:Stories/Warhammer 40,000]]