Bear Lore

2017-12-27T18:55:38Z

2600:1006:B10E:177B:619B:95C0:67B4:24CC: /* Other Lore */

[[Image:Bear lore.png|thumb|right|300px|We're not even making this shit up.]]
What's that? A large, [[furry]], [[Angry Bear|aggressive]] animal has just interrupted your party? '''BEAR LORE''' TIME!

The Bear Lore [[meme]] started right when the [[4e|4th edition]] core books were leaked online. After paging through them, someone found a chart for "bear lore" which had dc checks to find out stupefyingly obvious things about bears. Someone posted this on /tg/ and there were many [[Rage|lulz]] to be had as people continued to talk about what else there is to learn about bears, among other things. The meme originated here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1839136/

== Nature Check ==
''A character knows the following information with a successful Nature Check:''

*DC15: Cave bears live in caves.

*DC20: Dire bears like to attack with their natural weapons.

For the same DC regarding manticores, you get to know it has 3 rows of teeth and that it can speak common and that it can be tricked easily.

== Religion Check ==
''Alternatively, a Religion check on bears provides the following:''

*DC15: Bears do not attend any continuous services of worship. They are ready to kill at all hours of the week.

*DC20: They mysteriously vanish every winter, perhaps to give reverence to their perverse fertility goddess while gorging on the souls of men lost to famine.

*DC25: Bear society has no visibly ordained clerics.

*DC35: SHIT, NEVERMIND, THEY HAVE THEM, RUN.

== Other Lore ==

'''Bee Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

*DC15: [[Bees]] generally live in hives or trees.

*DC20: NO!! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!!! AAGGH!!! THEY'RE IN MY EYES! AAAGGGGHHH!!1!

*DC25: I'M COVERED IN BEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!! (-10 to all seduction checks)

*DC35: [[meme|It’s hip to FUCK BEES]] (+15 to all bee seduction checks)

'''Fire Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

*DC10: Fire is hot.

*DC15: Fire cannot go through walls. It's not ghosts, stupid.

*DC20: Only YOU can prevent forest fires.

*DC25: If you were smart enough not to touch fire, you'd not NEED the stop-drop-roll info, and if you touched the fire, it's too late to make that check now. Enjoy burning to death!

*DC30: IT'S FUCKIN' HOT IN HERE.

*DC35: The fire rises.

'''Water Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

*DC10: Pyros don't like water.

*DC15: Ice water is cold.

*DC20: You can drink water.

*DC25: Humans might not be able to use it to breathe.

'''Fuzzy Wozzie Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful [[Meme]] check.

*DC15: Fuzzy Wozzie was a bear.

*DC20: Fuzzy Wozzie had no hair.

*DC25: Fuzzy Wozzie wasn't fuzzy was he?

'''Cliff Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful Geography check.

*DC15: Cliffs usually live at the edge of things.

*DC20: If you walk off a cliff, you will be hurt.

*DC25: All of the [[Fags of 4chan#Fag|gods]] know that 4th edition sucks and urge you to jump and end it all.

'''Spy Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful [[/v/]] check.

*DC15: The knife in your back was placed by a Spy.

*DC20: [[GENTLEMEN]].

*DC25: That's your blood on his suit.

*DC35: I was a Spy all along.

*DC40: He never really was on our side.

*DC45: The best Spy is a dead one.

*DC50: NEVERMIND, HE'S GOT A DEAD-RINGER.

*DC60: Hail Hydra.

'''Human Lore'''

*DC10: They are squishy.

*DC20: They're bastards most of the time.

*DC30: HOLY SWINGING FUCK, THEY LIVE IN CITIES?

'''Heavy Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful [[/v/]] check.

*DC15: Sandvich.

*DC20: Heavies hate Scouts.

*DC25: Heavies love Medics.

*DC30: Heavy has a [[Assault Cannon|minigun]].

*DC35: Minigun kills Scouts dead.

*DC40: Heavy eats Sandvich.

'''Creed Lore'''

Wait, there's no such lore, how did this one- [[Creed|CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!]]

'''Pyro Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful [[/v/]] check.

*DC20: Pyros hate spies.

*DC25: Pyro has a [[Flamer|flamethrower]].

*DC30: Flamethrower kills spies dead.

*DC40: Pyros like Fire. Brush up on your Fire Lore.

'''Dark Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

*DC10: It's dark in here.

*DC15: You may be [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nigRT2KmCE| eaten by a grue.]

*DC20: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

*DC25: Shoulda brought a candle.

*DC30: Dark congregates around [[grimdark|Grim]].

*DC45: [[Cthulhu|SHIIIIIT! I MUST GET OUT OF HERE!]]

'''Scout Lore'''

A character already knows this information because this guy can't keep his trap shut. Roll anyways

*DC10: He's not even winded.

*DC15: He ran fast and died a [[Macha|virgin]].

*DC20: BONK!

*DC25: He's a force a' nature.

*DC30: If you were from where he was from, you'd be fucking dead.

*DC35: NEEDADISPENSAHHEAH!!!

'''Tzeentch Lore'''

A character cannot know the following information[[Just as planned|.]]

*DC10: [[Tzeentch]] likes birds.

*DC20: Tzeentch makes plans.

*DC25: Just as planned.

*DC30: Just as planned.

*DC35: These dice are loaded, and will roll exactly what Tzeentch wants you to roll.

*DC99: [[Just as planned]].

'''Engineer Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful Science check.

*DC10: [[Meme|Nope.avi]]

*DC15: A Spy's sappin' his Sentry!

*DC20: His Dispenser's goin' up.

*DC25: Engineer is makin' bacon.

*DC30: Engineer uses [[Dakka|more gun]].

*DC35: Sometimes you just need a little less gun.

'''Box Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful Knowledge check.

*DC 10: Enemies favor metal boxes for concealment.

*DC 20: Particularly foolish and cowardly enemies also like to hide IN MEHTAL BAWKSES.

*DC 25: To maximize combat effectiveness, take away their metal boxes.

*DC 35: SINDRIIIIIIIIII!

'''Medic Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful Science check.

*DC10: He is ZHE ÜBERMENSCH!

*DC15: Ribs don't grow back.

*DC20: Can you feel zhe Schadenfreude?

*DC25: He is fully charged.

*DC25: OKTOBERFEEEEEEEEST!!!

'''Economy Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful [[Horo|Business]] check.

*DC10: The state of the economy is excellent.

*DC15: There is a problem with Fannie Mae.

*DC20: OMG!

*DC25: You can purchase "The Republic of Iceland" on eBay for $229.99 (inc. VAT).

*DC35: Economy is a planning game. [[Just as planned|And you've lost already.]]

'''Plan Lore'''

*DC10: Make a Plan.

*DC15: Carry out Plan.

*DC20: ????????????

*DC25: PROFIT!

*DC99: Tzeench made your plan, and gave it to you without you knowing about it. [[Just as planned]].

'''Nebbish Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful [[Neckbeard]] check.

*DC20: Being unknowingly nebbish is annoying.

*DC25: Being deliberately annoying is nebbish.

*DC35: GTFO!

'''Cat Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

*DC10: Ceiling cat is watching you masturbate.

*DC15: Cats eat mice.

*DC20: Cats hate you. No exceptions.

*DC35: Cats can sometimes be [[Furry|Girls]].

*DC40: Nekos are the best cats.

'''[[Hat]] Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful Irish check.

*DC15: Hats live on hatracks, or people's heads.

*DC20: Hats can be used as a drinking apparatus.

*DC25: Casey wore his brand new hat to Murphy's wake last night. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSk0SxaXgbw Someone stole his hat and, boy, it started up a fight.]

*DC30: Hats, Beards, and Sweden [[Minecraft|go well together]].

*DC40: Commissars wear hats. Don't tell anyo[[*BLAM*]]

*DC45: Team Fortress 2 is a game about hats.

'''Internet Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful Computers check.

*DC10: The internet is for porn.

*DC15: The internet is not a big truck.

*DC20: The internet is a series of tubes.

*DC35: Skynet has been born, and has sent robot killers back in time to terminate you.

*DC40: You're on the internet right now!

'''Doge Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

*DC15: Such fur

*DC20: So popular

*DC25: Very great

*DC30: Wow

'''Abaddon Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

*DC15: Abaddon is the Warmaster of Chaos.

*DC20: Abaddon has no arms.

*DC25: Abaddon is a(n) (armless) failure.

*D30: "CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!"

'''[[Dwarf Fortress]] Lore'''

A character knows the following information with a successful Computers check.

*DC10: Press ? to see help.

*DC15: Not /.

*DC20: This game is technically in 3D.

*DC30: The red stuff is blood.

*DC35: Blood from your most useful dwarf being shanked in the face.

*DC40: That "g" did it.

*DC60: The "g"s are goblins, and there's more of them.

*DC500: You can set up a basic military like so...

'''Ork lore'''

*DC10:WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

*DC15: DAKKA

*DC20: STUPID BEEKIEZ

*DC25: I'Z DA BIGGEST BOSS AROUND!!!!

*DC30: EVERYONE KNOWZ GREEN IZ BEST

'''Chaos Spawn''' Lore

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

DC10: Saying "Chaos Spawn" will OH SH- '''GRAJIRAGJEARJGEA'''
DC20: Chaos s- those guys are created when someone either says their name, or fails their dark master
DC30: Chaos Spawn are '''ADSAFDSARGRAAA''' ahem, chaos aligned

=='''Gallery'''==
<gallery>
Image:CAVEBEAR.JPG|Cave bears live in caves.
Image:Bearclaw.jpg|A bear and its natural weapon.
Image:Manvsbear.jpg|BEAR LORE: LEARN IT.
Image:Bear_cavalry.jpg‎|Another reason take Bear Lore as a feat.
Image:Neckbear.jpg|What happens when poor spelling, [[neckbeard]]s, and failed DC15 checks collide
</gallery>

==See Also==
*[[Bear cavalry]]
*[[Bear trap]]
*[[Angry Bear]]
[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]]
[[Category:RAGE]]
[[category:meme]]

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Bear Lore