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Clan Skryre

2022-09-01T13:16:52Z

2600:1010:B046:AAA7:604C:8142:F1DB:FD61:

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[[File:Clan Skryre.jpg|thumb|right|300px]]
'''Clan Skryre''' is one of the four major clans of the [[Skaven]], and along with [[Clan Moulder]] represent the scientific bent to the race. They specialize in making technological wonders, often combining mechanical ingenuity with [[Warpstone]]-powered magic and expendable slaves or idiots to carry the damn things. Their inventions range from the Skaven-portable Warplock [[firearm|jezzail]], to the Warpfire Thrower (read: magic flamethrower), all the way up to the mighty Warp Lightning Cannon. Also, [[DOOMWHEELS]]! They also made a Chaos nuclear bomb and placed it under the capital city of the [[Empire|MANTHINGS]] once, but it failed to detonate. In general, the more powerful the device, the less reliable it is -- the results of using one are always spectacular, but sometimes they do more harm to the user than the intended target (which is why Clan Skryre tends to behave like wizards and stand amongst their bodyguards while the footplodders do their work). This suits Skryre just fine, as long as they get enough data to make something better.

tl;dr They have the best gubbinz and they sell said gubbinz to everyone else.

During the End Times, they developed the [[Farsqueaker]], a telephone-like communications device that has managed to unify the Skaven tribes for the first time in recorded history. They are, however, better known for '''''blowing up the fucking [[Morrslieb|CHAOS MOON]]''''', which would've reduced the Warhammer world to a smoldering crater if it weren't for the mass heroic sacrifice of the Lizardmen. Even the Daemons of Chaos were horrified by it, which is saying something.

Now with the Age of Sigmar, the “Clans Skryre” hold a good portion of Blight City under their control thanks to the machinations of [[Clan Ezzik]] and the first seat of the Council of Thirteen, High Arch-Warlock Skrach. Currently their biggest rivals are the equally influential Clans Pestilens, the two Great Clans being on the verge of total civil war once again. Also they now have Warlock Bombardiers who specialize in blowing shit up and want to blow up the Bad Moon just like in End Times.
==Notable figures/Noteworthy regiments==
'''Warpmaster Sythar Doom'''- Grey Lord of Clan Skryre during the days of the Black Plague's run through the Empire. Sythar had made several augmentations to his body (à la the Adeptus Mechanicus), including [but were most likely not limited to] the following- copper wires running through his scarred hide, grafting of new skin and iron plates into his face, replacing his eyeballs with enchanted rubies [that were three sizes too big for them and, thus, had to be held in place by extensive stitching], a miniature power plant on his body (connected to his lower jaw by a black cable that ran to his heart, but also could cause an explosion if either one stopped) and electrically-charged metal incisors. He was one of only two Grey Lords (the other being Warlord Vrrmik of [[Clan Mors]]) to disapprove the usage of the Black Plague.

'''Klawmunkast'''- the famous "Warlock Caster", Klawmunkast was the pioneer of one of Clan Skryre's best weapons- the Warplock Pistol. A gifted inventor and surprisingly enthusiastic commander, Klawmunkast was always willing to do whatever it took to make the next big thing. His image currently sits in the gallery below.
*'''Warpstone Mutants'''- side-effects of Klawmunkast's botched experiments with the mysterious "Rat Tank", those Skavenslaves that survived the explosions and leaks of warpfire mutated horribly. Their sanity long since eroded away, they have developed several interesting evolutions- from multiple limbs to a Superman-esque physique.
'''Quirrik'''- a Warlock Engineer who has stationed his lair in the ruins of a long-since abandoned town situated in the Grey Mountains, Quirrik was the focus of starting adventure #4 from the "Chaos Dwarf Roleplay Book". Seeking to gain new skills in both engineering and arcane abilities, he has agreed to provide Skavenslaves and tunneling technology to create the Chaos Dwarf equivalent of the Underway, which the Dwarves will receive... provided that the roleplayers in question can deliver Quirrik alive to Zharr Grungron Ankor without him dying. His fate is left in the hands of the players and can either make it to the Shaman's Den back in Zharr Grungron Ankor or end up dead elsewhere.

'''Ikit Claw'''-
the master warlock engineer of clan skrye, and is one of/the oldest skaven alive. He's the one responsible for a lot of skaven war machines, including Warp Lightning Cannon and the [[DOOMWHEELS]].
<gallery>
Image:Fireteam1.jpg|Minor innovation of Skryre Engineers.
Image:Mortarteam1.jpg|A more advanced piece of Skaven equipment pioneered by Clan Skryre.
Image:Skaven battletank.jpg|The most advanced weapon to ever grace the field of battle in Warhammer Fantasy. Misfire causes it to become a neutral Monstrous Creature that wanders the field eating the basing material on your minis.
Image:Skaven-skabrus-complete.jpg|In [[Dreadfleet]], Skryre Engineers decided to turn a giant dead fish into a warship. No, really. It's a little known fact but much win on /tg/ comes from Skaven fucking off at work.
Image:SkavenGlobadier.png Photo by DaneArtStuff Photobucket 20130716-234510.png|Little known fact, but [[Chemrat]] served in the Skaven armed forces until the age of 17, whereupon she went to Hoeth to become an actress.
Image:Skaven warlock engineer by jackademus-d63gbse.jpg|Like the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]], but actually get shit done and know how it happened!
Image:Adrian Smith Skaven Gunners.jpg|Skaven snipers. World War 1 tech in a universe dominated by renaissance and stone age technologies. Don't worry though, the bullet will probably fire out the back of the gun.
Image:1390865444955.jpg|Clan Skyre nobility, Klawmunkast.
Image:Skyre Moulder.jpg|The best of the two SCIENCE clans.
Image:Doom Flayer.jpg|Orks, eat your heart out.
</gallery>

{{Skaven-Clans}}

Clan Pestilens

2022-09-01T13:05:58Z

2600:1010:B046:AAA7:604C:8142:F1DB:FD61:

[[File:Clan Pestilens.jpg|thumb|right|300px]]
'''Clan Pestilens''' is one of the four great Skaven clans and are dreaded throughout their domain for the variety of diseases and plagues these Skaven have mastered and unleashed upon the world. Probably the most feared out of all the Great Clans, by enemies and allies alike, having been the main aggressor and instigator of both of the two great Skaven Civil Wars that ravaged much of the Under-Empire for four centuries, and for almost overthrowing the Council of Thirteen. Also known as Plague Monks, the disciples of disease and decay, these Skaven have dedicated an unhealthy fervor to spreading pestilence and corruption in the name of the Horned Rat to all those they see fit, even their own brethren.

These foul warriors are not only recognizable by their characteristic diseased appearance, but also by the terrible stench that accompanies them, as the Clan's doctrine dictates that in order to truly obey the Horned Rat's wishes, they must be the very embodiment of their God's title as the Harbinger of Disease. Unlike their brother clans, Clan Pestilens doesn't sell their military service for mere economic gains; but rather to lend support to any cause that they believe will further their own foul objectives. In this way, their current leader, Lord Nurglich the VII, Plague-Lord of Clan Pestilens, has ensured a position of power within the Council of Thirteen.

==History==
Many have forgotten the original name of Clan Pestilens- long before they became masters of disease and suffering, they had a different name... though only the [[Horned Rat]] and the Verminlord that serves as Pestilens' representative on the Shadow Council likely remember what it was. All that anyone remembers is that, long ago- during the start of the Great Migration (starting in -1500 IC) -the Skaven of that clan and their Lord of Decay, like the forebears of [[Clan Eshin]] and [[Clan Moulder]], made their way out of Skavenblight- however, instead of journeying east like the Eshin (or north like the Moulder), these Skaven journeyed south into Araby. It wouldn't be until around -1420 when their clan was first sighted. Despite their being seen, the clan seemed to have uncovered a miracle- a series of tunnels leading under the great ocean to the New World. It was here that the troubles began...

===Origins of the Pestilent Brotherhood===
For roughly 21 long years, the Skaven made their way westward, eventually emerging within the ruined Lizardman city of Quetza. This swampland was nothing to the Skaven, but the diseases native to the area proved tougher than expected. Unrelenting, the diseases slaughtered the Skaven in droves until only 100 members of the clan had survived. Covered in cold sweat and driven to the point of insanity, it seemed the clan would perish. This wasn't the case.

Instead, the Skaven came to a truly mad idea- what if they grew to worship the Horned Rat, brought him sacrifices and revere the diseases that tore them to shreds? It was a desperate plan, even amongst Skaven, but their minds were so far gone, it is doubtful that they ever realized this fact. They set to work in their new mindset and, thus, the Plague Monks and their Pestilent Brotherhood was born. Slowly, they regrew their numbers, taking what secrets could be gleaned from the local ruins and sacrificing the local reptiles to their master. Eventually, a new ruler- Arch-Plaguelord [[Nurgle|Nurglitch]] the First -deemed it the ripe time to return to their homeland and claim a spot of power over their kin. What followed was a decade-long war to reach the coast. After cobbling together a fleet large enough to take most of Pestilens' forces back home, they set sail for the Southlands, which had long since flourished (for Skaven and humans alike). Once there, the Pestilens higher-ups sent emissaries to the Council of Thirteen, demanding three things: breeding rights (being plague carriers does horrors for procreation), warpstone tithes (every Skaven wants some of it) and a position on the Council. The other Lords of Decay, unimpressed, slaughtered the Skaven sent. This began the first Skaven Civil War.

===First Skaven Civil War===
Having been denied what they felt was their birthright, Pestilens began their assault. Several clans were destroyed- amongst them [[Clan Merkit]] -but, despite these losses, the Council of Thirteen remained firm. Launching legions of Clanrats backed by [[Clan Skryre]] weaponry, they hoped for a swift victory. Alas, the clans of the Southlands (for the most part) surrendered to Pestilens, fearful of their vicious diseases. Many clans would follow them (or go rogue and help neither side) as the years dragged on and the Council's forces became weaker. This state of affairs lasted four centuries and could've lasted longer if [[Clan Eshin]] hadn't made a fortuitous arrival. With their aid, the Council quickly destroyed any and all support for Pestilens. With the chips down and their backs collectively to the wall, Pestilens begged for a parley. The Council agreed (sending many assassins to try and kill Nurglitch), and Pestilens offered their disease-making ways to the Council- but not before the Arch-Plaguelord made clear that any further attempts on his life would force him to unleash a container of Yellow Skull Fever on the whole of Skavenblight. A trial by combat took place and, with a poison-laced bite delivered to Lord Vask- the weakest member of the Council at the time -Pestilens gained seat #7 on the Council.

===The Black Plague- Its Success, Failure and the Fallout that Followed===
It wouldn't be until IC year 1111- in the winter -that Pestilens left its first major mark on the Old World's surface- the Black Plague, which was field-tested to great (and horrific) effect on the humans of the Empire. Symptoms were quick to manifest- ominous blotches, swelling of joints, agonizing fever and finally a series of convulsions that lasted for seemingly endless hours before the body stopped shaking and turned ash grey. The virus spread through many cities, with only Middenheim staving off the sickness with the timely blocking off of the sewers and viaducts (which were how the disease, transported by Eshin adepts, reached so far and in such little time).

Fate was crueler still, as the spring saw the Warlord clans ravage what remained of the Imperial Army. Once they had passed (and the loathed Emperor Boris "Goldgather" Hohenbach had passed away four years after the start of the plague), the Skaven ravaged the Empire for seven long, unforgiving years. Their pattern of attack was as follows:

1. Surround a farm/village.

2. Set fire to it.

3. Collect what stragglers ran out.

4. Rinse and repeat, as required.

With the success more than clear, Pestilens began to seize more and more power. Two extra Plaguelords joined the Council, ousting former members (much to the shock and [poorly-concealed] worry of the other Councilors). The only positive news for humanity came when the Skaven tried to raid the nearby province of Sylvania for warpstone. The local undead were a vexing reminder of Nagash's minions and, after a low-gain, high-pain result, the Skaven fled. With no success, they had only one major target left- the Empire city of Middenheim. It was here that the Skaven's reign would come undone and victory would return to order's side.

Many Skaven thought that the Emperor's death would leave the people of the Empire leaderless (mind you, they were essentially leaderless due to Boris' poor leadership skills, but the point still stands); nobody could blame them. Yet, despite their best intent, starting at IC 1118, Middenheim had become a veritable unbreakable bastion of hope. These hopes hinged on the life of Elector Count Mandred of Middenheim, who did all he could to stave off any attacks. With him leading the fights at their thickest points, the Skaven began to fall back. True failures began, however, when the very disease that slew so many of the Empire's people turned against them! With these weaknesses showing up, Mandred gathered everyone who could fight and began a crusade to drive these beasts back (though, unbeknowst to him, the Skaven built a hideout in Middenheim before retreating). One last fight remained- the fight that could give the Skaven control of the Empire back. Alas, the Warlord in charge was slain, shattering the army and sending all the Skaven scuttling into the Under-Empire.

The Council had hoped for a second go against the Empire once the whole of the Under-Empire had recovered... but this wasn't to be so. In just 25 years, the humans recovered (infrastructure wise) at breakneck speeds. Worse still, Mandred- now the Emperor of the humans -created the Sewer Watch, a new organization that would prove to a thorn (albeit a diminutive one) in the side of any Skaven infiltration force. Back at Skavenblight, the majority of the Council went ballistic against the Plaguelords- several clans had suffered from Pestilens' work and demanded compensation! Similarly, Pestilens claimed multiple assassination attempts had occurred recently. Eventually, the Empire was filed under "Unfinished Business"... but one last act- the death of the Emperor -was agreed on, and a young assassin by the name of Nartik dealt the blow (framing mutants for the dark work). With this event, the Skaven slowly returned to the annals of myth in the minds of the Empire's folk... unaware that they were very real and still alive!

===The Red Pox- or, a Bretonnian Rehash of the Empire Invasion===
With the attack against the Empire failed, Pestilens was left on the back-burner for Skaven politics. Lacking the military and munitions for a direct attack, the Skaven and their masters slowly restored their empire whilst sending the servants of Clan Eshin to sow general discord amongst other nations. Prime candidates for such work were the Crusades into Araby and a series of upheavals within Tilea. Despite this, neither of these battles (nor any other attempts) allowed for permanent change, so eventually, Pestilens was able to convince the Council that another full-out assault was necessary.

Hoping for a repeat of the Empire's escapades, a delivery of Red Pox was sent into the Bretonnian city of Bordeleaux. A whole third of the population was lost, but the ruling baron burnt the poor quarter, halting the contagion at the cost of several poor souls (and the loss of a decent amount of respect for the baron himself). 25 years later, the whole of Bretonnia (and the northern half of Tilea) were coated in Red Pox outbreaks. It was a repeat of the Empire for sure- small towns and villages alike were burned, and major cities suffered. However, just as before, the control was short-lived, as Parravon- and an unexpected delivery of aid from the Wood Elves -shattered the invasion at the Battle of Remarche. This was to prove more than what anyone could've expected from a failed takeover.

===The Second Skaven Civil War and its Concerning Conclusion===
With another failed takeover lambasting them, Pestilens was regarded as a waste of a clan. The public outcry was severe - "Throw the Plaguelords out!" ...Alas, nothing is ever this simple, especially NOT in Skaven society. Following a series of months worth of politicking, blackmail, bribes out the wazoo and assassinations and threats alike, a vote of the full Council was demanded. This would've settled things definitely... but Pestilens had other ideas. On the date for the vote, Pestilens tried to take over, saying the rest of the Council was formed of heretics. Several other Warlord clans, most of them members of the Pestilent Brotherhood (doubtlessly), joined and a vicious, three-way melee broke out between Plaguebringers, Warlords and the albino guards who served as guardians of both the Horned Rat's Temple and the Grey Seers.

Clan Skryre had seen this madness coming from centuries away and they decided to join the fight. Techno-sorcery proved more than a match for the Plague Monks and, within a few short weeks, the Temple fell to Skryre paws. Weapon Teams covering every possible entry point and Jezzails loaded into the bell tower made sure nobody but Skryre and their friends were allowed inside. Lord Morskittar - head of Clan Skryre and one of the highest ranking Councilors (beaten only by the Seerlord and the Horned Rat) - had taken the Temple and, in typical Skaven fashion, made himself Skavenblight's new king. He wanted to rebuild the Council, but the fighting was too far built up... the Second Skaven Civil War had begun!

Time dragged itself along - 400 years saw the civil war rage endlessly. Dozens of factions were present, though the greatest of them were still those who were the Greater Clans - Pestilens, Skryre and Moulder (and, to a lesser extent, Eshin, who served only the highest bidder at the time). Whilst war raged, Skryre set to work building technology into just about every inch of Skavenblight. By this time, the Great Chaos Invasion in the world above was soon to pass, but another event was coming... one that had far darker implications for the Skaven at large.

Clan Scruten and its Grey Seers were visiting every last base of power in the divided Under-Empire, with one message for all- arrive to the annual feast of Vermintide, or suffer the wrath of the Horned Rat! It was so horrid, all this fighting, that the Grey Seers were planning the most daring event in their history- the summoning of the Horned Rat. Many clans were uncertain of whether or not to go (a trap was likely), so representatives were sent out. Regardless, everyone made it to Skavenblight in time for the feast. In one of the rarest moments in Skaven history, one member from each of the clans stood at the Great Temple. Fear blanketed the air, as the whole Order of Grey Seers, all 169, arrived. Wielding a skin-bound book, Seerlord Kritislik led a dark incantation - 169 slaves were slaughtered by the Seers, each death more gruesome than the last. The Great Bell tolled a particularly ominous 13 times and, when silence fell, it happened- a vast cloud of dark vapor flooded out of the Seerlord, forming into the Great Horned Rat!

After consuming at least 13 paw-fulls of Skaven (because 13 is the Skaven's lucky number, so why not?), the Horned Rat decided to give a gift of sorts to his children - "a glowing pillar of purest warpstone" with 13 sides and (on each of these sides) 13 blocks of runes that translated to commandments of ruin and the rules for Skaven ruling, as well as prophecies of the Great Ascendancy. With that dealt with, the Horned Rat spoke to his children in a voice akin to a million rats: the wars from before, while entertaining, had to stop! Only when the Skaven had spread their complete and total corruption would they inherit the world and bring the Horned Rat back into reality entirely. Furthermore, the Council of Thirteen was to be remade at once; of course, only some figures would be allowed. To determine who was on the Council and who was to be ridiculed (or killed, whichever comes last), each clan leader was to touch the pillar before them. Those who survived (and were to be council members) would receive an aura of dark power, the greatest blessing that the Horned Rat could ever give. As can be imagined, Arch-Plaguelord Nurglitch the Seventh survived. To this day, there have been no new additions to the Council (In older fluff, this is no additions thing is not true).

===The End Times===
Clan Pestilens was second only to Clan Skyre in how much shit they got done during the End Times (for reference, Skyre blew up Morrslieb the Chaos Moon.) Pestilens decided to finally get back at the lizardmen and invaded all of Lustria, infecting everything and generally being shitty as they went. Their general tactics consisted of surrounding a temple-city, throwing disease into it, then waiting until everything was dead. They also fucked up the City of Mists by actually finding a way inside, murdering all the guards, destroying spawning pools, stealing things, breaking whatever they could find, eating baby dinosaurs from the hatchery, and eventually just trying to get into the pyramids with the mage-priests in them. They only got a few before shit went wrong when Kroq-kar came over and took revenge. Also, a group of gutter runners with an assassin had a face-off with Chakax, where the big lizard got stabbed with a weeping blade and gave no shits.

This invasion finally culminated with the big battle near Hexoatl, where the full force of both groups was ready. Unfortunately for the lizardmen, Skyre decided now was a good time to blow up the moon, so Muzmazdumi and Lord Kroak gave up their lives to stop the entire world from being destroyed, and the slann pulled a page out of the Old One's playbook and left everyone behind by fucking off to space. Kroq-kar stabbed Skrolk with his magic spear, but a verminlord corruptor filled the hole up with tumors and barfed on Kroq-kar, then left. So, by the end, Pestilens was victorious, but had lost so many warriors that they were in no state to do anything about it.

===Age of Sigmar===
With the majority of the original Pestilens going down with Lustria, the Thrall Clans Septik, Feesik, and Morbidus were taken to the Mortal Realms and created the new collective Clans Pestilens. They worship the Great Corruptor (an aspect of the Great Horned Rat), occasionally team up with [[Nurgle]], and now search for the fabled 13 plagues that can kill everything except them. So basically it’s the same story as Fantsy Battles, but on a larger scale, They have collected about half of these recipes, but they’ll probably end up like the lost artifacts of [[Vulkan]], where they'll never find the rest and the GW writers will forget about them.

The new Skaven Battletome suggests tensions between Pestilens and Skryre will start a third civil war. Some things never change.

==Notable figures/Famous Regiments==
'''The Beast of Clan Pestilens'''- long before Pestilens went the way of sickness bringers, the clan had a massive herd of Rat Ogres. One in particular- something akin to a "Super Rat Ogre" (if such a thing existed) -was especially brutish and unpleasant, growing more so with each step towards filthy damnation that the clan took. The creature had an unbeatable streak that seemed destined to exist until the End Times... but then Nakai, an "ancient and venerated Kroxigor" appeared during one battle, and everything changed. The battle was fierce, but the duel between these two titans was even worse! Eventually, Nakai broke the beast down, but fell into a coma induced by fever (one final blow from the gore-filled center of the beast). The creature fell, but Nakai would remain comatose for months... only to seek out Pestilens and its servants once again after finally staggering to his feet some time later.

'''Stinking Thing'''- before [and, more honestly, if] a leader of Clan Pestilens reaches the title of Plague Priest, they hold the title of "Stinking Thing". This is usually indicated by their foul stench, but lack of priestly garbs.

'''Rotten Rodents'''- lowly Plague Monks to be, these Skaven are little more than standard Clanrats, but coated in vile plagues.

'''Pusbags'''- plagues are a difficult industry to be in- you always need living test subjects to use them on! That's where the Skavenslaves come into play- they're the ideal test subjects. True, their lives are short and unpleasant... but then again, so are they!

'''Nurglitch I'''- the first of the Arch-Plaguelords. It is said that he was responsible for creating such diseased artifacts as the Blade of Corruption (a sword left to soak in the collective viruses in the Cauldron of One Thousand Poxes for 13 days) and the aptly-named Blade of Nurglitch. He was so bloated that he often rode to battle on a black Giant Rat with a rhino horn-like growth.

'''Skizzik the Filch'''- although it remains unclear how this brother of the Pestilent Ones managed to do it, Skizzik has become respectable in Skaven society and has also stolen potent relics from his own clan and from races all around the globe! During the campaign "The Conquest of Lustria", Skizzik ran an item shop- Skizzik's Yard Sale -and would willingly sell treasures to any of the forces that made it to his doorstep (be they Empire-born soldiers, Dwarven pirates, Undead corsairs or mighty [and mad] Greenskins), regardless of what their intent was.

'''Severin, Plague Cantor'''- a disgraced Plague Priest, Severin was banished from Clan Pestilens for reasons unknown (and considering he's a Plague Censer Bearer, it'd need to be pretty darn horrid to be worth banishment!). Somehow, he wound up in the pirate city of Sartosa- as is evidenced in the "Pirate Princes of Sartosa" campaign. He keeps to the shadows and back alleys at daytime, going through the city only at night. Many just mistake him for a beggar... often to their greatest regret! He hires himself out to anyone who can withstand his Plague Censer's stink.

'''Brinepox, Priest of the Horned One'''- a Plague Priest, Brinepox was a part of the "Blood in the Badlands" campaign. Having been ousted from Skavenblight under "mysterious circumstances", the poor stink-pile has thrown his lot in with a breakaway part of [[Clan Mors]], in the wild hopes of reclaiming prestige. Good luck, crazy!

'''Bearers of Creeping Death'''- the Cauldron of a Thousand Poxes has been the perfection site of- as the name suggests -a thousand poxes. The most dangerous, however, one that even senior Plague Monks can't stand, is the Creeping Death. At the apex of the plague, the stuff gets ladled over hot coals to produce the most deadly fumes imaginable. Only a crazed volunteer (or a plague monk that was doomed to die- which, considering their lifestyle, isn't too often an occurrence) would dare swing a censer filled with the stuff.

'''Bilekin Brotherhood'''- with a clan like Pestilens being one of the Greater Clans, it only makes sense that it would branch off into several schisms of faith. The Bilekin Brotherhood was one such group. Like their kind, they wore tattered green robes. The note of originality here is that they wore cream-colored cowls covered in jags and runes. Considered extremists (even by Pestilens' vile standards), the Brotherhood would bathe daily in the worst kind of filth imaginable, coating both themselves and their weapons in liquefied disease.

'''Chained Ones'''- life as a Skavenslave is already the pits; obviously, being a slave for the Pestilent Brotherhood is even worse! With countless horrible diseases killing slaves off in droves, the survivors- the aforementioned Chained Ones -were made all the more hardy. Their job was simple, but by no means easy- disassemble the Plagueclaw Catapults (of which there were 39), drag their parts through miles-long tunnels, and then reassemble them on the other side of the sea! What a drag... literally!

'''[[Morbus Sanguis]]'''- is a favored agent of the Plaguelords of Clan Pestilens, an agent they can trust (relatively speaking) to get a tough job done. So much so that, in the contest against Klawmunkast of Clan Skyre, Morbus ultimately prevailed even though his enemy had a steam tank at his disposal. Morbus is known as a breeder of disease, such as his most recent creation of the Yellow Death, called so after the way it turns its victims yellow before their bodies become bloated with toxins and they die. Even looking at Morbus-his patchy fur and sloughed face-it's obvious he's a Skaven truly blessed by disease. Great weeping sores and inflamed buboes cover his paws. His left arm is withered, and the skin on his tail is scabbed and scaly. He is so hideous to look at his very presence causes fear among the enemy and ally alike, a fear that only compounded to allies by his reputation. Morbus is uncompromising in his demands, and if any of his followers show weakness in the face of righteous battle, he puts them to death himself. In the End Times Morbus took part in the Lustria invasion, fighting with distinction across the continent. Ultimately, he died in Lustria at the claws of Nakai the Wanderer. The sacred kroxigor succumbed to Sanguis' Yellow Death in the process.

'''[[Lord Skrolk]]'''- The playable lord of Pestilens from Total War Warhammer, as well as one of 9 legendary Plaguelords. He gets stronger with every disease caught on and is therefore immortal. [[Nurgle|He also clawed his own eyes out after witnessing Arch-Plaguelord Nurglitch's plague because it was so beautiful]]. Despite having no eyes, he claims to have magical vision where he can see the plague in the air and it do Daredevil (that blind superhero) shit. He has 2 artifacts: Rod of Corruption and Liber Bubonicus, a book that contained many dreadful plague spells.

'''Archdeacon of Disease (Lord Skrimanx)'''- The Archdeacon of disease seems to be a glorified second in command to the first position. This is a post that requires a harsh taskmaster to drive the plague hosts to victory. Lord Skrimanx personifies his role and is known for being a tough taskmaster, even among the Skaven. A slave that slows his pace for even but a moment is viciously beaten by the whips of the overseers. Skrimanx was extraordinarily ambitious, described as climbing over entire mountains of dead Skaven to achieve his position, and aimed higher still. Though a talented battlefield leader, he also was unimaginative, and after one such failure, this lack of imagination saw him executed by Lord Skrolk.

'''Great Potentate of Postulates (Lord Gritch)'''- This position seems to require a lot of zeal, for it allows the holder of the office oversight over some of Clan Pestilens most magical scrolls and lore, including the Liber Bubonicus. The current officeholder, Lord Gritch, is known as one of the greediest Skaven ever to live. He is also shown to be a brutal taskmaster and competent besieger.

'''The Ravener (Lord Kreegix)'''- A position that seems emblematic of the Plaguelords zealotry, the Plaguelords here are known for surrounding themselves in dizzying fields of plague fumes and charging into combat. Unusual for Skaven the leaders here lead from the front, not the rear.

'''Spreader of the Word (Lord Blistrox)'''- This Plaguelord is in charge of managing Clan Pestilens' Thrall and Allied
Clans in an affiliation known as the ‘Pestilent Brotherhood.' The current leader, Lord Blistrox, is known for his
unorthodoxy in acquiring the services of Moulder, Eshin, and even the hated Clan Skyre, to known success. During the End Times, they formed the main thrust of the Clan Pestilens attack on Xlanhuapec, City of Mists and overran the city. They suffered massive losses by the forces of Kroq-Gar when he marched on the ruined city to avenge it while the Clans, less devout in their fanaticism than the zealots of their Parent-Clan, were busy looting.

'''Master of the Contagion Conclave (Lord Grilok)'''- Master of the mighty magical artifacts the Cauldrons of a Thousand Poxes, the Contagion Conclave are responsible for creating the holy weaponized plagues that Clan Pestilens spreads throughout the world. During the End Times, they were led by Plaguelord Grilok and used the collected plagues, diseases, viruses, poxes, maladies and other weapons they devised over the years to great effect in the Assault on Itza.

{{Skaven-Clans}}

Commissar

2022-08-28T16:08:07Z

2600:1010:B046:AAA7:604C:8142:F1DB:FD61: /* Traitor Commissars */

[[Image:Comissar.png|frame|{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}]]
{{Awesome}}
{{Topquote|{{BLAM|How many Guardsmen does it take to unload a gun? Lets find out shall we? '''*BLAM!*'''}}| A Commissar during Tuesday.}}
{{Topquote|You're going back to the front lines and you may get shot and killed, but you're going to fight. If you don't, I'll stand you up against a wall and have a firing squad kill you on purpose. In fact, I ought to shoot you myself, you goddamned whimpering coward.|George S. Patton to a shell-shocked soldier in the hospital}}
{{Topquote|Last one to die's an Eldar!|A Commissar}}

In the times long before these dark hours of the forty-first millennium, commanders of various Terran military entities and their successors in the colonial states of galactic expansionism remained in relative safety throughout the duration of various conflicts instead of charging the lines of their enemies with vitriol and froth issuing from their mouths in equal rabid measure. The instruments of the will of higher officers on the battlefield were men of inflexible will and intolerable zealotry, men greatly respected and feared by their underlings who inspired entire battalions with selfless example and were willing to sacrifice themselves for the success of their company and their empire. Regardless, these times have long passed.

In this current moment of the history of man, war has become a very different thing. Lasguns firing, explosives detonating, great beasts of unimaginable terror charging the trenches without fear, death of all sorts stalking behind every wisp of smoke... and that's just at the front. Behind every line of trembling conscripts is a man, sanctimonious, who fires not upon the hordes of the enemy, but his own troops.

That man is the '''Commissar'''.

They get a cool [[hats|hat]], a [[Nazi]]-esque longcoat, a sword or power fist they seem all too happy to hit the enemy with and their iconic [[Bolt Pistol|bolt pistol]] which they use to "boost" the morale of their men, although they sometimes trade it for las or plasma pistols (but seeing your buddy's head explode or melt down does indeed motivate you better than just seeing a laser beam go through it).

A Commissar that lacks any guardsmen to execute and is in the proximity of any vehicle proceeds to clamber on the said vehicle and threaten the crew into charging the enemy so he can hit the enemy with his close combat weapon. Hilarity ensues depending on the kind of closest vehicle, close combat weapon and closest enemy.

Commissars also have a tendency to get killed suspiciously far from the front lines. Such a tragedy; our platoon's dear Commissar tripped on his own grenade, while in the latrines. Oh well, such is life fighting in the Emperor's name. Hopefully his replacement will learn well from such an unfortunate accident.

They also have mad shooting skills, some can even execute '''ENTIRE SQUADS OF COWARDS''' in the time it takes to drop their hats. If only they could shoot the enemies that fast, what with their phenomenal accuracy when shooting their own men and all.

They are preceded with Discipline Masters in Great Crusade era.

==On a more serious note==

''' TLDR:''' Although there are a multitude of jokes and pages on /tg/ basically calling these guys nothing more than blunt instruments of discipline. The role of a Commissar is more nuanced. The Commissar leads by example and will never give an order he wouldn't do himself. In a universe of untold horror, these men lead thousands of often poorly trained and equipped men and women to war. These chosen few are genuinely inspirational and will ensure that the Emperor's currency (human life), is spent effectively. But should you dare falter from battle, they will not hesitate to make you an example of what happens to [[Tau|cowards.]]

Beyond their reputation as [[Khârn|team-killing fucktards]], the presence of Commissars make a lot of sense in the Imperial Guard. Copy-pasted straight from Civil War Soviet real world Commissars (save for the uniform) with a dash of Great War-era "charge the enemy or I'll execute you" British Army officer thrown in, they're political officers with everything that entails.

First of all, they are the warrants of doctrine. They will deal with any disciplinary issue coming up whenever a Guardsman misbehaves. The punishment for cowardice and desertion is death and the Commissar will apply the sentence on the spot, but that is only the tip of the iceberg. As a Guard regiment travels around the Imperium, they will come in contact with other cultures and ideas. Ideas that could potentially be dangerous and morale-ruining (looking at you [[Tau]] propaganda, but not only). Just like their real-world counterparts made sure random Ivan remained true to the ideals of communism, the Imperial Commissar will ensure such heretical ideas are suppressed and the regiment remains loyal to the Imperium and fit for duty. Where to the simple Guardsman this translates into being constantly watched by a terrifying enforcer of discipline that does not hesitate to shoot a deserter on the spot, to the higher echelons of the Guard they're a (frankly necessary) constant reminder they're supposed to do their job as defined by [[High Lords of Terra|the old coots back home]] and not go rogue to seize a planet for their own or carve out their own little kingdom. Yeah, it takes a lot to become a Commissar, tactical and strategic training included: after all, they have to judge the competence of everyone, up to and including Lords Solar.

A second part of their job is to ensure cooperation between elements of the Guard. You see, the Imperium is vast. Extremely vast. And only very loosely unified as a whole. Hence what is considered quite normal on one world would have denizens from another throw a massive bitchfit, if not worse. Imagine the result of stuck-up [[Mordian Iron Guard]]s in the same room as rowdy [[Catachan Jungle Fighters]] unsupervised, you'll get the idea. Commissars make sure discipline is maintained and rules are adhered to (by force of arms if necessary), no matter the origin of the warriors under their care.

The third part is military counseling. Officially, a Commissar is outside the chain of command and can only advise on military matters, the ultimate decision remaining in the hands of the commanding officer. But, as mentioned, they also have the authority to execute any soldier if they conclude they're severely derelict in the prosecution of their duties (this includes high ranking officers, as [[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt|Ibram Gaunt]], [[Commissar Holt]] and Viktor Hark have demonstrated). Should it come to pass that the leader of a squad or regiment has fallen (one way or another, either due to the enemy or {{BLAM}}), the Commissar will assume command himself. Most Guardsmen dread when this happens for this all too often results in a <strike>pointless</strike> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* Glorious'''}} last stand for anyone involved, and anyone attempting to retreat is given a bolter round to the back of the head for cowardice. In their minds however, Commissars have no choice: they simply cannot flee or order a retreat as they're well aware this would be the surest way for morale to collapse immediately, especially if they just executed the commanding officer. In many cases the situation has already gone so FUBAR when a Commissar assumes command he decides standing his ground and taking as many enemies of the Emperor with him is the only meaningful choice left to him and the men close to him; [[Fist of the North Star|for they are already dead]]. The inverse is also true, if a commander refuses to retreat when it would serve the Emperor to do so, the Commissar can and will take command as well. This said, it is not always a bad thing when it happens, [[awesome|the most famous example]] is [[Commissar Yarrick]] assuming command of the defense of [[Armageddon]]; whose undaunted contest of Hades hive made [[Ghazghkull Thraka]] lose sight of the larger battle because he couldn't see it as anything but a personal challenge and answered in kind, leaving the flanks of his hordes wide open for the Imperial counter-attack. Another thing to remember is that while a Commissar can temporarily receive or assume command, they will relinquish it back to a proper officer at the end of the mission/first occasion they get. They are ([[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt|mostly]]) watchdogs meant to keep an eye on the proceedings, not leaders themselves.

The fourth part is being an exemplar for all Guardsmen to follow. They can't be accused of being hypocrites, and so will most of the time stay close to the action and lead by example. One of the core tenets of the [[Imperial Creed]] is [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|Mankind's right to be the sole owners of the Galaxy]], and the Commissar is always ready to personally prove it to any [[Harlequin|particular]] [[Exodite|breed]] [[Eldar Corsairs|of]] [[Eldar|Space]] [[Dark Eldar|Elf]], [[Ork]], [[Necron]], [[Tyranid|space bug]] or whoever was stupid enough to question Mankind's right to rule the stars with their existence that day, up to and including [https://youtu.be/nb6cSEI1FLk?t=471 gods]. They're helped by often being the most well-equipped and hardest motherfuckers in the squad.

The fifth and often forgotten part that is only lightly touched in BL books is interaction with civilians of the Imperium. To your regular Imperial citizen, a Commissar is both a terrifying and inspiring figure instantly recognized by their longcoat and peaked cap that are widely used in propaganda. Who do you think a governor is more likely to listen to: some [[Attilan_Rough_Riders|Mongolian guy who doesn't even know how fire a Lasgun]] even if he's thrice the colonel, or the same guy backed by a living instrument of the Emperor's Will straight out of a recruitment poster? Moreover, if some harm comes to a civilian through an unlawful action of a Guardsmen, the possibility of the Commissar looking the other way due to a misplaced sense of comradery is basically nonexistent, as opposed to, say, an [[Savlar_Chem_Dogs|Savlar]], [[Catachan_Jungle_Fighters|Catachan]] or [[Scintillan_Fusiliers|Scintillan]] officer. That, of course, doesn't mean the Commissar won't put a bullet through the head of a civilian should the need arises.

Last but not least, the Commissars are also trained to look out for xenos or chaotic taint. Not all enemies of the Imperium [[Ork|conveniently charge at the Guard straight on]] but use much more insidious methods. So the Commissars are taught a little bit (just what is needed) about Chaos, [[Genestealer Cult|Genestealers]], Enslavers and all those kind of joyful things that could fuck over their regiment and how to look out for it, with the strict instruction to {{Blam}} anything they find out on sight. Any [[psyker]] in their regiment will be under their constant scrutiny because where Average Joe just has a vague knowledge he should 'abhor the witch', the Commissar know what would happen if he would get [[Daemonhost|possessed]]. Better safe than sorry.

With the above in mind, you easily understand why Commissars are generally at best tolerated and often hated with a passion by the men under their care. They are hard and pitiless men, but that is a sad necessity in the [[grimdark|just as hard and pitiless 40k universe where the alternative is even worse]]. It should also be noted, that not all Commissars are trigger-happy fucknuts. The intelligent ones that live long lives learn that the right words can often inspire men just as well, if not better, than a bolt to the head. These Commissars learn to tell the difference in situations. After all, the Commissars first job is to inspire the troops, through whichever means are most appropriate. Of course, the trigger-happy fucknuts do tend to spoil the bunch for the good ones. Also, did you know there's an [[Terrax Guard|entire Regiment of Commissars]]? Yeah, pretty sca-{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* AWESOME'''}}

==Choices of equipment==
*Badass longcoat, badass sash and even more badass peaked cap that takes design cues from both the Germans and Russians.
*Mars-Pattern ceramite balls
*[[Flak Armour]]- Standard guardsman issue Commissar armoured underwear.
*[[Carapace Armor]] & Refractor field- A better armour and a force field for genre-savvy Lord Commissar.
*Camo-cloak. Serves to hide said badass garments and get less fire from the enemy and guardsmen.
*Special Mask for a Lord that weeps tears of blood near traitors! Oh and scares people. Also gives a force field.
*(Other) Special Mask for Commissars lucky enough to get the Death Korps of Krieg (easiest gig in the guard cuz Kriegers commissar themselves) -Alternatively may result in getting {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}ed by a Krieger for cowardice.

*[[Basic Close Combat Weapons#Sword|Saber]]- Often carried to swing towards enemies while riding a Leman Russ tank so that he could drive closer and hit enemies with his sword.
**[[Chainsword]]- For a sword that's actually useful more often than not.
**[[Power weapon|Power sword or power axe]]- For slaying armored enemies and hassle-free decapitations.
**Power fist- For punching through enemy [[METAL_BOXES|Metal Bawkses]].

*[[Laspistol]]- Clean, precise, and efficient working tool of the Commissar that doesn't waste ammunition. Less satisfying to execute people with though. The Imperial Infantryman’s Uplifting Primer recommend it however as the laser beam will cauterize the wound it makes, keeping your uniform spring clean despite your executions. This is noted to be the favored pistol of choice for the vast majority of commissar's featured in the Dawn of War series.
*[[Bolt Pistol]]- Produces very satisfying {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}ming sound that raises self-esteem of the worthless ponce hold-{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}, can also get through standard issue Imperial flak armor if you need to blam someone in the chest on the battle field.
*[[Imperial Boltgun]]- Good for shooting underarmoured enemies and your entire squad if you suspect them all of {{BLAM|HERESY}}.
*[[Plasma Pistol|Plasma pistol]]- Good for shooting armoured enemies dead, and executing cowardly tanks. Bad for summary executions since it's poor form for it to over heat when trying to "inspire" your squad. Notably a better choice in fluff than on the table top since as an officer a Commissar could better take care of such an ornery and delicate piece of equipment thus preventing overheats, excepting cases of over use. So it's not a tool to blam a squad with, but if you need to do just one it rivals a bolt pistol for impact.
*Baleful Eye- [[Commissar Yarrick|Lasgun built in the eye socket to kill Orks with a glare]].
*Grenades & bombs.
*Titanium balls.
*Two pairs of balls, (see above)

==Reasonable Commissars==
Reasonable Commissars do not execute those who flee. However, they do carry a potent stun-gun to bring down those who break ranks and save the bolter shells for those who have willingly became servants of Chaos or Xenos. Afterwards, the accused is brought before a military tribunal to judge what the appropriate punishment will be. Reasonably Hard Labor is a common punishment. If a not-so-reasonable Commissar is present the punishment is invariably a {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-ing. The bast- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}

Reasonable Commissars can often be found in units operating alongside [[Reasonable Marines]].

Reasonable Commissars understand their duty is to instill courage within the Imperial Guard, not to instill discord and discontent. Thus they lead by example and be the first to die and last to retreat.

Reasonable Commissars only exist because there are Commissars who are *ahem* ''dicks''...such as Commissar Jericho of the 8th Cadian [[Whiteshield]] division:

{{topquote|Lil' Timmy: "Commissar? My helmet won't fit. Can you please help me fasten it?" Jericho: "IF YOU CANNOT FASTEN YOUR OWN HELMET, YOU'RE AN INEFFECTIVE SOLDIER! AN INEFFECTIVE SOLDIER IS THE SAME AS A HERETIC IN MY BOOK! SUMMARY EXECUTION FOR YOU!" {{BLAM}} "SO. ANY OF YOU OTHER CHILDREN WANT HELP WITH SOMETHING? WHAT ABOUT YOU, OLIVER? DO YOU STILL WANT MORE PORRIDGE? OH WAIT, YOU'RE DEAD! HAH! GET BACK TO FIGHTING YOU LITTLE PIECES OF SLIME!|From the records of Inquisitor Murtho}}

To some extent, they do actually exist in Warhammer canon, with [[Ciaphas Cain]] ('''HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!!!''') and [[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt|Ibram Gaunt]] being the most iconic examples, the fact that they became tremendously famous (OK, Gaunt - not so much) and idolized is implied to have led to many newer Commissars using their less trigger happy and more reasonable methods. Proof that sometimes, you can make a positive difference in Warhammer.

It could be argued that all Commissars are reasonable as most don't hold malicious intent when killing their own, or don't kill their own unless in extreme (Read: Chaos) circumstances, since most of the time shooting your own men can be counterproductive when they're light infantry fleeing from a Super heavy tank. Or if they, you know, have orders to pull back. Obviously they are evil fucks for killing their own men but usually it is done because it has to be done. Rules are rules, heresy is heresy, and Commissars have to show some authority. Not saying that they are necessarily nice guys but no Commissar ever sleeps well at night, except Gaunt, he was pretty fucking cool!

==Female Commissars==
A female Commissar is a rare sight, except by the Vostroyans, otherwise, there is little to no representation in the fluff. This is because combat talented fanatical women (as opposed to those female progena with other talents) in the [[Schola Progenium]] are far more likely to end up in the [[Adepta Sororitas]] (because the limitations set after [[Goge Vandire|Goge Vandire]] had to go fuck everything up, so the Ecclesiarchy needs all they can get). However, there have been all-female regiments of guardswomen, and they only had female Commissars.

In the recent [[Lemartes]] novel, there is a female Commissar Stromberg attached to the [[Mordian Iron Guard]]--she died like she lived, making an infantry charge against motherfucking [[Skarbrand]] of all things before being ripped into 3 bits with one axe swing, thus buying enough time for the Blood Angels to regroup and therefore get all the glory of banishing the Daemon. Typical.

[[Commissar Raege]] is one of the rare cases of a woman that became a Commissar.

As of late 2018-2019, Games Workshop has put out a series of novels about a female Commissar called Severina Raine. They've also released a really nice model for her (which is horribly overpriced in cash - she costs nearly twice as much as the most expensive Commissar models, and has fairly lame rules). They've also hyped her as a fan favorite despite being a newcomer which reeks of [[Games Workshop#/tg/ Analysis of Games Workshop|corporate greed]], [[SJW|or worse]]; since Raine got a model while long-time fan-favorite [[Ciaphas Cain|Cain]] hasn't even got a model yet <s>(unlike Cain, Gaunt and his Ghosts at least had metal minis made of them years ago)</s>Gaunts Ghosts recently got new plastic minis which are, sadly, also horribly overpriced as well, with gaunt and a handful of the notable characters running over double the cost of a regular guardsman squad.

==Commissar in Squat Regiments==
It was considered a common occurrence for a Commissar to be grouped with a [[Squat]] regiment when they were still relevant in 40k lore. However unlike in the Guard, the Commissars being stationed with the stunties act as advisers rather than a force of morale. This is mainly done to keep an eye on the Squats. Of course a Commissar is forbidden in {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''ing}} a Squat since while he has a Bolt/Laspistol, your basic [[Squat Trooper]] has [[Plasma Gun]]s, [[Conversion Beamer]]s and captured [[Eldar]] [[D-Cannon]]s as their flashlight equivalent. So if the Commissar is a idiotic prick and thinks he/she has near impunity with the Squats he is stationed with, they will soon find themselves face-kissing the barrel of a Squat [[Meltagun|Melta Gun]].

Yeah, the Space Dorfs did not fuck around back in the day. Commissars act not only as advisers but also supporting leaders. But their leadership is often ineffectual when compared to that of [[Squat Warlord]], [[Guildmaster]] or heck, even a [[Living Ancestor]].

==Traitor Commissars==
{{Heresy}}
[[File:TraitorCommissarOgryn.jpg|thumb|200px|right|''Those who would break this oath are Heretics, worthy of neither pity, nor mercy! '']]
While it was originally believed to be near impossible for any Commissar to fall to Chaos (at least for those of you following the [https://regimental-standard.com/2017/05/10/your-friend-the-commissar/ The Regimental Standard], and [https://regimental-standard.com/2019/03/13/commissars-an-errata/ The Regimental Standard] never lies, although it may make very minor errors at times for none save the Emperor is perfect), the existence of Traitor Commissars has been confirmed. While it seems they still act as leaders of heretics and traitor Guardsmen, their exact role (and whether or not they execute people for being possible Loyalists) is uncertain, although a good guess is that they'd act like [[Renegade Enforcer|enforcers]] on a wider scale. 

Ciaphas Cain in his memoirs states that Commissars occasionally do join Chaos when their regiment joins Chaos, but normally if a regiment decides to serve Chaos, the Commissar is one of the first people killed by the regiment when it decides to purge loyalists of the Corpse Emperor. In one of the Ciaphas Cain books, a Commissar joins the 13th Black Crusade.

Out of meta, there are only three instances where we've seen playable Chaos commissars: the first being the abovementioned Enforcers made by Forge World, the second being the Escalation expansion of [[Blackstone Fortress]], where he's accompanied by a mutant Ogryn bodyguard, and the third being the Kill Team: Moroch set, which reuses the same commissar and ogryn models from Blackstone Fortress.

==What not to do around a Commissar==

[[Image:Commissar_NO.jpg|thumb|200px|right|If you have to ask...]]
Unless you have a death wish (since you're drafted into the Guard, we already KNOW you have a death wish) these are the things you should avoid doing around your Commissar unless you want to be shot for a number of reasons:

*Do not retreat until he says so.
*Do not look like you will retreat before he says so.
*Do not think about retreating before he says so.
*Do not think about thinking of retreating before he says so.
*Do not retreat even WHEN he says so.
*Do not refuse to retreat when he says so because you will later be shot for insubordination.
*Do not be incompetent in battle, he'll execute you for being useless.
*Do not move too far away from a Commissar attached to your squad, he might think you are retreating without his command.
*Do not fap to the women that are [[Shlicktau|xenos]], [[Cultist-chan|heretics]], or [[Furry|mutants]] while in the field of battle... or outside.
*Do not fap to [[-4_Str|human women]] either, he'll execute you for dereliction of duty. Also, Slaanesh worship.
*Do not fap '''AT ALL''' Because it is heresy. No! Fap to the Corpse-Empero- wait, I kinda gave that away, didn't- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!!}}
*Do not mock anyone in the upper command structure, social status and organizations. It's the same as treason and treason, kids, is [[HERESY]].
*Do not look at your Commissar with a [[grimdark]] look, he'll assume you want to kill him. Unless you're a Catachan. He doesn't need to see the look to know you want to kill him.
*Do not pretend to listen to your Commissar.
*Do not pretend to pretend to listen to your Commissar.
*Do not interrupt him while speaking, he'll execute you for the insubordination.
*Do not change your underwear. Tzeentch worship.
*Do not neglect to change your underwear. Nurgle worship.
*Do not bring up the paradox of changing underwear. Malal worship. (There is no paradox as long as you follow the correct procedure. First remove and burn the tainted garment while reciting the litany of blessed hygiene. Instead of "Changing" your underwear, proceed to replace the purged garments with identical standard pattern guard issued underwater.)
*Do not worship the [[Chaos|ruinous powers]], even if your Commissar is-{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Commissars are loyal servants of the Emperor!}}
*Do not look like you are worshipping the ruinous powers.
*Do not think about worshipping the ruinous powers.
*Do not think about thinking about worshipping the ruinous powers.
*Do not think '''AT ALL''' or he'll think you are thinking about worshiping the ruinous powers.
*Do not find out about the Ruinous Powers. Best you can hope for is being sterilised and mind-wiped.
*Do not fall ill. Nurgle worship.
*Do not fall seriously ill. Serious Nurgle worship.
*Do not think about getting ill. More Nurgle worship.
*Do not think abou- To Hell with this, you are already thinking about getting ill! {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
*Do not watch "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", that is both Tzeentch and Slaanesh worship. (and if the excessive cuteness makes you sick than it's also Nurgle Worship, and if the associations with Chaos or furries makes you overly angry <s>that's Khorne worship.</s> {{BLAM}} {{BLAM|Righteous fury at the foes of the Emperor does not feed the Ruinous Powers!}})
*Do not openly question his orders.
*Do not question his orders behind his back either.
*Do not suggest your orders are suicidal.
*Do not suggest that said "''suicidal''" Commissar should join the enemy, if he is able to kill his squad so quickly.
*Do not suggest anything, lest he take it for Heresy.
*Do not mention that the Ministorum Priests are better motivators. {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Insubordination!}}
*Do NOT interrupt him while attempting to execute someone <s>unless you have a pretty good reason</s> as he'll execute you along with the one about to be executed.
*DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES challenge him or her in a western shootout. Why? Because they'll {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} kill you all in LESS than a splitsecond, now get back to the front, or you'll join him.
*DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES give your Commissar a new bolt pistol for his birthday. Just think of how fast he can {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} your squad if he goes Akimbo...
*Do not ask a Commissar for a bullet in the head. He ''will'' have you flogged for cowardice.
*Do not ask a Commissar for a flogging. He '''''WILL''''' have you shot in the spine for being a Slaaneshi Cultist. Not that that's a bad thing, being a Sla-{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!}}
*Do not, in any way, shape, or form, give a zealous Commissar an Assault Cannon. You will have no unit.
*Do not, under any circumstances, give a zealous Commissar a Deathstrike Missile Launcher. You ''will'' have no army.
*Do not give a zealous Commissar a spacecraft. You will have [[Exterminatus|lost a planet]].
*Do not give a Commissar a cookie. You chaos worshipping freak.
**A: He'll think you are trying to poison him.
**B: He'll think you're trying to bribe him.
**And yes, death is the sentence.
*Do not be bald, then you are a Genestealer.
*Do not be balding, then you are becoming a Genestealer.
*Do not think about balding, then you are thinking about becoming a Genestealer.
*Do not think about thinking about balding, you don't wanna become a Genestealer.
*Do not add to this list, or else he will have you shot for insubordination. He- Yes, Sir!... No, sir... Sir? {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!}}
*Do not use an axe as a last-ditch weapon. Khornate behaviour. Only acceptable if having said "For the Emperor!" and dying soon afterwards for the Imperium.
*Do not eat your rations in a particularly vigorous manner. Khorne worship.
*Any alteration of the standard uniform shall not be tolerated. Tzeentch worship.
*Growing facial hair in the pres- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}. More Tzeentch worship.
*Do not cut yourself while shaving your facial hair. More Khorne worship.
*Surviving a life threatening injury at the hands of the enemy. Serious Tzeentch worship.
*Do not bring prostitutes to the base while your unit is on leave. Slaanesh worship (and just plain improper behavior).
*Waking up lat- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}. {{BLAM|Cowardice.}}
*Do not deface or lose your Imperial Infantrymen's Uplifting Primer. (even though any veteran guardsman will tell you most of pages are complete bullsh- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY!}} )
*Calling your self a member of the "Astra Militarum" {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' HERESY! We are and always have been the Imperial Guard: Hammer of the Emperor!}}
*Do not lose your issued Lasgun. Unless it's loss is unavoidable in{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} {{BLAM|A proper Guardsman would never lose his Lasgun.}}
*Do not remind him that technically Commissars are outside the chain of command and cannot order you. So next time a fraking com- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''. Cursing Commissars is HERESY!!!}}
*Do not steal from a Commissar. Commissars are possessive, very possessive.
**Whatever else you do, Never Ever EVER steal a Commissar's hat.
*Do not make Hitler jokes, Stalin jokes, or any political jokes around a commissar. They might assume the joke is a hateful metaphor for the God-Emperor.
*Speaking of which, do not make fun of the God-Emperor.
*Never salute the anthem of a state other than that of the God-Emperor. To do so is treason and thus heresy.
*Do not email him your [[Promotions|porn]]. Slaanesh worship (also WTF man).
*Do not let him catch you playing [[Ironclaw]]. Granted Ironclaw has a lot of hot vixien chicks, but still- {{BLAM}}
*Do NOT let him catch you playing [[Magic the Gathering|Magic: the gathering]], Magic is heresy.
* Don't let him catch you playing [[Dungeons & Dragons|Dungeons and dragons]], (Unless you offer for him to be the [[DM]])

==What to do around a Commissar==
[[File:Oh Lawd.png|150px|right|thumb|Nothing escapes the vigilant eye of a Commissar (except everything)]]
*Worship the Emperor
*Talk fairly loudly about how the chaos gods suck.
*Make sure all your gear is organized, cleaned, maintained, and free of non-standard issue modifications.
*Charge towards Khorne Berserkers even if you don't want to.
*Compliment his marksmanship skills.
*Have your uplifting primer on your person. Failure to present it on request will result in {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}.
*When the rest of your squad looks like they are gonna fall back, step away from the Commissar's general direction as he might choose not to execute you to make an example for the rest of the men.
*When the rest of your squad looks like they are gonna fall back, step towards the Commissar's general direction as he might choose to execute you to make an example for the rest of the men.
*When you are about to do something that can only be described as batshit insane and a Commissar's around suggest it to him, if you survive said suicide mission he'll probably favor you a bit, which probably means that he MIGHT actually think about who's he shooting at.
*If you're the guy at the wheel of a transport, DRIVE HIM CLOSER! HE WANTS TO HIT THE ENEMIES OF THE EMPRAH WITH HIS SWORD!
*Pee on Dead Orks.
*Learn to anticipate their desires and fulfill them before they ask.
*If your Commissar has a bolt pistol make sure there that when he starts {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'ing'''}} that there are 10 people closer to the Commissar than you. That way after he's done blaming the rest of your platoon he might think you 'suitably inspired' so as to not blam you.
*Be born on [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|Catachan]], your divisions are "cursed" with "unfortunate accidents".
*Be a member of the Karauvan Conservators. Vance Motherfucking Stubbs loves his motherfucking men. Also because no Commissar wants to {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} people who can {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} a Living Saint to death with flashlights.
*Instead of ''DYING'', try to acquire the Enemy's head. Minor kudos for a Grunt, some kudos for an NCO Equivalent, and perhaps at least a bit of respect from the Commissar him/herself for an enemy Commander, or said Commander's Lieutenants.

==Notable Commissars==
*[[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt]]
*[[Commissar Yarrick]] DA ORKIEST HUMIE EVAH!!
*Commissar [[Ciaphas Cain]] '''HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!!!!!''' Secretly believes himself to be a coward. The truth of that is up for debate.
*Commissar [[Severina Raine]]: the main character of the short story ''''Execution''' and the novel '''Honor Bound''' by Rachel Harrison, Severina is the rare female Commissar who has managed to get her own (limited-run and therefore overpriced) figure and rules.
*Commissar-General Delane Oktar: Ibram Gaunt's mentor and substitute father-figure. He should have died better.
*[[Commissar Fuklaw]] is tired of putting up with your heretical bullshit.
*[[Commissar Dan]]: A /tg/-created character from the days of yore (along with Fuklaw and the [[Angry Marines]]) that got somewhat canon-ised by Fantasy Flight Games. Likes to order charges from atop his [[Basilisk Artillery Gun|Basilisk]] ''Fluffy''. According to FFG, his full name is Daniel Sterne and he met his end while attempting to ram a [[Helbrute]] with ''Fluffy'' when the damn thing came too close.
*[[Commissar Koulick Krieg]] attached to the famed storm trooper regiment known as the Redemption Corps and an agent for the Adeptus Ministorum. Never officially trained as a Commissar, but field promoted from storm trooper on behalf of the Ecclesiarchy to infiltrate the "heretical" regiment that was the free thinking Redemption Corps, eventually turning on his masters and becoming a full part of the Corps instead.
*[[Heretical Love|Commissar Max]] the Lovemachine of Yagis V. (It should be noted that he was actually a guardsman who picked up Commissar regalia and weapons.)
*[[K59|Commissar K59]]
*[[Holt]] {{BLAM|'''*SLAP*''' Commissar Holt!!!}}
*[[Commissar Raege]]
*<strike>[[Kharn|Kharn]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRVcdLPqoHg| The Commissar]</strike> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Major Khorne worship!}}
*[[Colonel Greiss]] Formerly a Commissar; became a conventional officer through necessity.
* [[Commissar Lord Bernn|Commissar LORD Bernn]] (always put LORD in ALL CAPS -bold is optional-, not doing so is Heresy.) Known for making entire armies completely invincible as long as he has people to execute and beating Mega-Daemon Princes, Hive Tyrants, Land Raider Redeemers, Battlewagons, Deranged Khornate Chaos Champions (if you're so far off your rocker that other Khornates think you're crazy, you may be a wee bit nutters), and Eldar wraithlords to death with a power fist. Also notable for being able to one-shot any infantry, from lowly Ork boyz to TERMINATORS with his laspistol. He needs no words to show he's a badass.
*'''Commissar "Colonel" Schaeffer''' The commanding officer of the 13th Penal Legion "[[The Last Chancers|Last Chancers]]", he had his arm shot off by a plasma gun '''AND GREW IT BACK''', had his spine rebuilt after being crushed by a tank and made a full recovery, had his eyes replaced after his other ones were destroyed and has survived throwing himself into suicide mission after suicide mission (seriously, most people would rather just take the summary execution than go with him) for over 300 years '''LIKE A BOSS''', he gets down and dirty and is usually seen in front of his men in the battle rather than behind them. He's still brutal as fuck to deserters though. *why doesn't he have his own pag- {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
* '''Commissar Jaes "Jellyfish" Quallen'''. Fragile, stuttering, clumsy, prone to disease, about as intimidating as a wet kitten. His enlistment was a cruel wager between two of his rich aunts to see if he would survive. He barely made his commission as Commissar, and he was discarded to the Catachan 217th infantry to get rid of him. And yet he's still alive today. What's more, he leads his men from the very front, utterly fearless when the jagged teeth of Chaos spawn ('''OH GOD NOOOOOOAAAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH!!! GRRAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!''' {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*''' Mercy killing; continue.}}) are inches from his face, humming to himself in the middle of the shitstorm that is every battlefield. Atypical for a Catachan company, his men are quite loyal to him, well-liked for leading by example instead of inspiring fear behind the lines ... although they do tease him off-duty by playing keepaway with his hat.
*'''Commissar Viktor Hark''' - The Commissar for the Tanith First (and Only). Pretty bad ass dude with a cybernetic arm to beat heretics and a plasma pistol to melt faces with. Pretty reasonable for a Commissar, preferring {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} only when it can have the most effect on a units morale, which in some cases means {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}ming the guy in charge.
*'''Commissar Flint''' was abruptly reassigned to the reconstituted 77th Vostroyan Firstborn Dragoons, whose first mission was to quell a bloody rebel uprising at a penal facility on Furia Penitens. Leading a picked team of escaped convicts and Firstborn, Flint infiltrated the vast creepy facility, wrecking Stalkers, slaying giant mutants with his power sword and slaughtering literal rebel scum by the dozens, all while keeping his execution-count impressively low and displaying many feats of epic badassery. Not bad for a Commissar who gets his own book who isn't Gaunt or Cain.
*'''Commissar Fenstrum Holt''': A supporting character in the ongoing '''Eagle Ordinary''' [http://www.eagleordinary.com/chapters/77723/planetfall/]webcomic. NOT to be confused with (though he constantly is, even by his own junior, Commissar Talon Gunner) that ''other'' Holt *SLAP* [[Commissar Holt]]. '''This''' Holt is an elderly badass with a creepy bionic eye who manages to beat up trigger-happy aristocratic officers despite being only 5'6. Although introduced in the comic's first page engaging in the Commissariat's trademark pastime {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*-ming'''}} Guardsmen, his character is so well-written and drawn he might just be the fan favorite. Might just be the only adult in the whole comic as well.
*'''Commissar Daridh Ahl Karif''' : Commissar of the Fifth Company, 68th Vostroyan Regiment, one of the main character in the ''Rebel Winter'' novel. One of the few Reasonable Commissars in 40k. An unnaturally caring, nice, level-headed Commissar but also sternly ruthless when the situation demands it. Got posted down to a company-level commission in a pretty much worthless campaign for rejecting a Lord General's sons love (no, seriously), leading to the rejected dude committing suicide. Currently serves as part of an Inquisitorial retinue.
*'''Commissar Vaynom Blenner''' - A Commissar attached to the Tanith First (and Only). Basically the shit drug addict version of Ciaphas Cain.

==Commissar Mortality==
Commissars, at least those attached to an Imperial guard regiment, do not exactly have a high life expectancy. Next to the many horrible fates that await your average "balls of steel" Guardsman in the [[grimdark]] WH40K universe, the Commissars have some additional aggravating factors leading to a quick demise.

Some reasons:
* A Commissar's uniform is very different from those he is working with, add to that he is shouting things at people and possibly {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-ming them, probably without fire being returned at him, and is probably carrying different weapons than those around him. It doesn't take a genius to figure out he is an obvious High-Value Target which any sniper worth the name would take note of.
* Aforementioned uniform offers little to no head protection, head protection is for cowards and cowards get {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-med. (However, a Commissar's lack of headgear can get him {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-med by the enemy).(subverted for death korps as they have helmets under their hats)
* {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-ming cowards, and especially {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-ming non-cowards, often has a side effect of *accidentally* getting shot, repeatedly, sometimes even far from the front lines. This fate is particularly common for those attached to [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|Catachan]] units.
* Even when not getting *accidentally* shot/dropped in a pit/run over/... by his own troops, few Guardsmen will risk their lives to save a Commissar should he get into trouble with the enemy.
* Some Commissars both lead by example and expect their men to perform acts of suicidal courage, resulting in performing collective suicide in the name of the Emprah.
* Lots of Commissars like big flashy bolt pistols. Bolt pistols, [[Dakka|being roight flashy bitz of dakka]], naturally attract orks like sugar water attracts flies, and unlike laspistols eventually run out of bolts.
* According to their most recent models some unusually ballsy Commissars carry plasma pistols, and as such possess a statistical lifespan of six shots at maximum.

It should be noted that regimental standards vary: 
- Kriegers will leave a Commissar a wreck because they have to keep convincing the men that while it's laudable to die for the Emperor you have to do so while trying to kill His enemies. It's like herding sheep: if you keep your eye off of one for too long it'll be gone. Except this sheep wears a gas mask, digs a trench, bombards the enemy with mortar fire, then goes over the top and gets gunned down without achieving anything. Oh, and there's millions more like it. 

- Serving with the Tallarn regiments that there will be sand EVERYWHERE. There's so much fucking sand everywhere. I mean, how did it even get there? Not to mention that you'll want to wear one of their turbans to protect your head against the heat, but you can't wear your cap alongside one of those things. And many a Commissar has suffered from dehydration following being told exactly what most of the regiment's water is distilled from. 

- The Mordians employ the strictest of discipline and expect a Commissar to lead by example. When they inevitably mess up the Commissar is subjected to physical disciplinary actions, up to and including being flogged or even executed by the platoon. 

- The Vostroyans are ABSOLUTE MADMEN and expect the Commissar to lead by examples of balls-out insanity and win the day, but they have trouble following the orders of a man who has no imposing facial hair. If a Commissar's lucky he'll be approached by one of the regiment's senior female officers who offers him one of her glue-on mustaches to spare him the indignity. 

- Scintillans show utter disdain for the Commissar because of his poor breeding and low social standing (word has it the Commissar is an orphan, for the Emperor's sake!) and will have their authority undermined by even the lowest of privates and when trouble arises a senior officer steps in and takes the offending soldier away, but punishment following this is rare. 

- Praetorians are fine enough soldiers, but their culture is very strange and requires unusual degrees of politeness from both officers and the rank-and-file. Not following these labyrinthian rules will be sternly frowned upon. And their officers will never, ever duck even when taking direct fire. 

- Drookians openly hate the Commissar's guts for being an outsider and a nancy for wearing pants instead of a kilt, but a clever Commissar will figure out that if he manages to convince the platoon that the enemy has slighted the Drookians' clan honor all he needs to do is step aside and watch the men fuck the enemy up. 

- Brontians solve most of their internal struggles with knife fights, and the unfortunate Commissar who steps in to try and stop such a duel will quickly catch one, two, three or thirteen knives to the chest. The Brontians don't like them anyway due to their lack of scars. 

- Attilans laugh their asses of when the Commissar tries to ride a horse and keep falling off, and the platoon just rides ahead of him leaving the unfortunate Commissar in the dust. 

- The Steel Legions are almost entirely mechanized, so a Commissar has to hang out with the same squad all the time. And he better be able to keep up when redeploying: miss the Chimera and it ain't coming back for you. Plus, nobody respects you because you're not Yarrick. 

- With the Valhallans you constantly have to convince the commanders that yes, while it would result in a technical victory if you sacrifice a million men for that small amount of ground, it'd be better to have them attack in a different way to win slower but with fewer losses because the enemy is statistically a mundane rebellion or Orks and thus don't need to be urgently stopped to prevent a Chaos ritual of other psychic nonsense from going off and allowing the Guard to send the men to the planet 23 light years over that needs reinforcements. And they'll hate you for this. 

- The Chem Dogs will hate the Commissar because people like him put them there, and will try to rob him blind without being found out. 

- Elysian, Harakoni and Phantine Skyborne regiments have a high Commissar mortality rate because they're not very well trained in the use of grav-chutes. And with those things, you'll make a mistake only once. Drop regiments in general have high mortality, so successfully landing is not much of an achievement either. 

- With the Phantine Air Corps it's hard to say. On the one hand they are a guard regiment and not a navy unit, so Commissars come standard. What they do is trickier to say since they can't fly and even on bombers it's hard to justify attaching a spare person just to shoot one of the valuable air crew if they start to turn around, which if our own history of strategic bombing holds true, does not really happen, plus it would be a stupid waste to get a bomber formation shot down because unlike the men they are actually worth something to the Munitorum. Commissars therefore likely just sit around not doing much other then paper work and watching the pilots like a hawk when ever they are on the ground, thus proving that even in the 41st millennium the chair force meme still exists.

- Kanak Skull Takers will hate the Commissar because he prevents them from taking skulls, and they do so anyway. If he becomes forceful about it they'll take a skull with a fancy hat. 

- Naval Commissars are the first targets when a mutiny occurs/the ship gets boarded. Otherwise, you aren't likely to survive a voidship becoming combat ineffective if not straight up losing life support/about half the bulkheads/the reactor/the engines/the magazine and Emperor forbid the Warp Drive or the Gellar Field Generator.

==Quotes==

* "Fear me...'''''but follow!'''''"
* "You can give the Emperor your loyalty, or I can take it from your corpse."
* "You DARE shoot at me?...{{BLAM|'''AT ME?!'''}}"
* "What I cannot crush with words, I shall crush with the tanks of the Imperial Guard."
* "Fear ensures loyalty! Where do you need me?"
* "Trooper, the enemy ''may'' kill you, but if you try to run I '''will''' kill you!"
* {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
*"It is our duty to muster the Guardsmen's courage and loyalty under fire and it is our duty to - '''GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!'''"{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}} {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
*"WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO DIE?! 'CAUSE I SURE AS HELL DIDN'T!"
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrrCY7dgaqs Drive me closer, I want to hit them with my sword!]
* "Follow my example or I will MAKE YOU ONE!"
* A compilation of some -if not all- of the Dow II Commissar quotes that can be found [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isLz_8ppLig here].
* <s>Heil Hitler!</s> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* HERESY!!!'''}} Heil Emperor!
* "If you will not serve in combat, ''then you will serve '''on the firing line!'''''" {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
* "On charges of cowardice, ''you are sentenced to '''death!'''''" {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
* "{{BLAM|'''I WILL HAVE SOMEONE'S HEAD FOR THIS!'''}}"
* "SHUT UP ZATHRAS"
* "GLORY FOR THE FIRST MAN TO DIE! CHAAARGE!"
* "DO NOT FAIL UPON MY RETURN!"

==TLDR==
How many Guardsmen were Executed writing this article?

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Severina-Raine.jpg|Isn't she a beauty? Canon too!
Image:Commisarmoti.jpg|The real reason why Guardsmen do not revolt en masse.
Image:Closer.jpg|Commissars never let practicality get in the way of their awesomeness.
Image:Commissar Surfing.jpg|Again, practicality is never a hindrance.
Image:Comissar_Promotions.jpg|Imperial Guard Promotion policy, you either get promoted or {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-med, no exceptions.
Image:1230024061774.png|Reasonable Commissars know that summary execution is not always needed to motivate anyone.
Image:Thenewcommissar.jpg|[[Kharn]] during his traitor Commissar days with the Red Rivers traitor guardsmen.
Image:Romantic_Commissar.jpg|Commissars can be romantic. It's just that they are too busy {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}-ming Guardsmen.
Image:Penguin_Commisar.jpg|Do not underestimate the Commissar under any circumstances, no matter how cute he may be.
Image:Komissar_by_kriegsmachine14.jpg|Why so serious? Let's put a smile on that face...
Image:Commissarpoke.jpg|Don't let this one's slow demeanor make you too confident.
Image:1207335821953.jpg|[[Commissar Dan]] on the blaze of glory run
Image:Commissar-Fuck_Yeah.jpg|Imperial Guard, FUCK YEAH!
Image:Commissar_Badass.jpg|[[Ciaphas Cain|HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!]]
Image:Fixedhat2.jpg|The Commissar is here to ensure your loyalty.
Image:CommissarCos.jpg|{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}
Image:Commissar Hansen.jpg|Guardian of all Imperial [[loli|lolis]].
Image:Emote-commissar.gif
Commie.PNG
</gallery></center>
{{Promotions}}
<center><gallery>
Image:Comissar-by-Chink-1.jpg|Chink loev Commissar
Image:Comissar-by-Chink-2.jpg|[[Rule 63]] spares no one.
Image:Yarrick_by_Chink_2.jpg
Image:Feb.jpg|Commissar from the ill-fated /tg/ calendar project
Image:Atra concept.jpg|Much Sexier Version
Image:Daemonette commisssar.JPG|One of these is not like the others.
Image:1226746378911.jpg|Squad morale restored.
Image:powerfists_commissar.jpg|[https://wargameexclusive.com/shop/imperial-soldiers/imperial-female-commissar-with-fists-of-power-pin-up/ If you're wondering how she's "coping" with those things, don't ask us, for we have as good an idea as you do.]
Image:Lelith Hesperax Commissar.jpg|The Imperial Guard's latest morale boosting program was a glorious success.
</gallery></center>

==Navigation==
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[[Category:Commissars]]