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Europa Universalis

2018-01-15T05:39:34Z

2600:1700:1F10:7BE0:704A:9478:42D4:A3D0:

{{skub}}
A medieval wargame played on your computer. It is very popular and several titles have spun off from it.

Original has a Grand Campaign starting in 1483. Preceded by Crusader Kings, followed by Victoria and then Hearts of Iron.

Build armies, trade, massacre natives, kill peasants, become Emperor. There's even space marines!(Look up Prussian Space Marines.)

Europa Universalis 4 is the latest game of the series. Earliest possible start is in 1444 and the game ends in 1821 (or if you get conquered, try to avoid that). There are many historical start options but the most popular one is of course, "Rise of the Ottomans" (Rise of Kebab). Where you can start as Ottomans and try to conquer Europe, Middle East and North Africa. <s>It is also the strongest nation in the game, officially declared by Paradox as a tip on loading screen</s> bitch no that's [[China|Ming]]. Or you can start as Austria, with whom you spam Personal Unions (making another nation your bitch through diplomatic marriage) and try to unify the Holy Roman Empire. Or you can start as Prussia, where you try to stay low, hope for best that Mama Austria does not realize that you are trying to steal her Reich. Later seize the moment and with the legitimacy of annexed German city-states, establish Germany. You can be Poland and with your mighty bitch Lithuania, try to expand into Eastern Europe or crusade onto Kebab. You can be Russia and build a Eurasian Empire straight from Putin's most fervent wet dreams, drowning any enemy in hordes of musket armed peasants as you go. You can be Portugal or Castile who establish the largest overseas colonies. You can be France, after reconquering France cores and have fun with that sweet +%20 morale. Or be England, establish a trade Empire. Be Burgundy because fuck Austria, England and France at the same time.

Every uncultured plebeian can learn a lot of history from this game if they read the writings on the screen while playing.

Or be Ulm, because Ulm has the biggest advantage. Now there are lots of achievments to achieve, and they are fun. It is one of the aspects that makes EU4 not boring over time because simple, there is so much to do. I mean you have to conquer all of the world with a tiny Japanese island to get an achievement, which I think is impossible (at least in current patch). Even with mighty Kebab, it is not certain. Anyway Ulm is the greatest even though it is a tiny one province, free-city. You know why? Because aim of the game is to write your country's name biggest on the world map. And Ulm is only 3 letters long therefore Ulm has the greatest font size. Whose name is greater do you think if France or Ulm were to conquer Europe, ofc Ulm.
Also this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSlGdnbIUw8
And this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYMRjnM6j6w

Europa Universalis

2018-01-15T05:38:05Z

2600:1700:1F10:7BE0:704A:9478:42D4:A3D0:

{{skub}}
A medieval wargame played on your computer. It is very popular and several titles have spun off from it.

Original has a Grand Campaign starting in 1483. Preceded by Crusader Kings, followed by Victoria and then Hearts of Iron.

Build armies, trade, massacre natives, kill peasants, become Emperor. There's even space marines!(Look up Prussian Space Marines.)

Europa Universalis 4 is the latest game of the series. Earliest possible start is in 1444 and the game ends in 1821 (or if you get conquered, try to avoid that). There are many historical start options but the most popular one is of course, "Rise of the Ottomans" (Rise of Kebab). Where you can start as Ottomans and try to conquer Europe, Middle East and North Africa. <s>It is also the strongest nation in the game, officially declared by Paradox as a tip on loading screen</s> bitch no that's [[China|Ming]]. Or you can start as Austria, with whom you spam Personal Unions (making another nation your bitch through diplomatic marriage) and try to unify Holy Roman Empire. Or you can start as Prussia, where you try to stay low, hope for best that Mama Austria does not realize that you are trying to steal her Reich. Later seize the moment and with the legitimacy of annexed German city-states, establish Germany. You can be Poland and with your mighty bitch Lithuania, try to expand into Eastern Europe or crusade onto Kebab. You can be Russia and build a Eurasian Empire straight from Putin's most fervent wet dreams, drowning any enemy in hordes of musket armed peasants as you go. You can be Portugal or Castile who establish the largest overseas colonies. You can be France, after reconquering France cores and have fun with that sweet +%20 morale. Or be England, establish a trade Empire. Be Burgundy because fuck Austria, England and France at the same time.

Every uncultured plebeian can learn a lot of history from this game if they read the writings on the screen while playing.

Or be Ulm, because Ulm has the biggest advantage. Now there are lots of achievments to achieve, and they are fun. It is one of the aspects that makes EU4 not boring over time because simple, there is so much to do. I mean you have to conquer all of the world with a tiny Japanese island to get an achievement, which I think is impossible (at least in current patch). Even with mighty Kebab, it is not certain. Anyway Ulm is the greatest even though it is a tiny one province, free-city. You know why? Because aim of the game is to write your country's name biggest on the world map. And Ulm is only 3 letters long therefore Ulm has the greatest font size. Whose name is greater do you think if France or Ulm were to conquer Europe, ofc Ulm.
Also this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSlGdnbIUw8
And this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYMRjnM6j6w

Nazi

2018-01-15T05:01:57Z

2600:1700:1F10:7BE0:704A:9478:42D4:A3D0: /* Historical */

{{cleanup}}

''"I have in this War a burning private grudge—which would probably make me a better soldier at 49 than I was at 22: against that ruddy little ignoramus Adolf Hitler (for the odd thing about demonic inspiration and impetus is that it in no way enhances the purely intellectual stature: it chiefly affects the mere will). Ruining, perverting, misapplying, and making for ever accursed, that noble northern spirit, a supreme contribution to Europe, which I have ever loved, and tried to present in its true light."''
-[[J.R.R. Tolkien]]

''"[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHFtbSZ3KRE YOU UTTER FOOL! GERMAN SCIENCE IS THE FINEST IN ZE WORLD!!!]"''
-Stroheim, an over the top Nazi and the first Guile.

Important note: although the armed forces of Germany during World War II are commonly referred to as such, "'''Nazi'''" only refers to the political party. The regular German armed forces were the ''Wehrmacht'', who were not necessarily Nazis (most likely "paper Nazis," citizens who took party membership solely for the benefits like "not being purged as a dissident"). After the war they were not considered Nazis, unlike the ''Waffen-Schutzstaffel'', or Waffen-SS, which were the actual military arm of the Nazi party and declared an inherently criminal organization, though much like every WW2 party involved, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_crimes_of_the_Wehrmacht were not complete saints either] (including the contentious issue of whether dropping nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki was or wasn't a war crime, [[Grimdark|though according to conventions of the time, it wasn't.]])

== Historical ==
[[Image:Nazi uniforms.gif|thumb|right|150px|Nazis: Evil, but stylish]]
'''Nazi''' is the commonly used shorthand version of ''Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei'' (National Socialist German Workers' Party, a political party which took over Germany <s>for 1,000 years</s> from 1933 to 1945. It also refers to people who belong to said party, their ideology, and their regime in Germany during said period of time. Led by Adolf Hitler, the Nazi Party emerged from the uncertainty and political upheaval due to the Red Scare, the end of the German Empire after the Great War, resentment at unfair conditions imposed by Treaty of Versailles, economic uncertainties due to the Stock Market crash of 1929, German ethnic nationalism, a desire to blame things on scapegoats, and a belief in militarism popular among many returning veterans. They were also aided by their invention of modern campaigning and propaganda, wide-spread dissatisfaction with the status quo, the strategic seizure of the political positions that controlled the police force, and more dumb luck than anyone has any right to have, let alone a bunch of [[Imperium of Man|evil, racist]] [[Racial Holy War|loons]].

[[Image:Germania.jpg|thumb|left|150px|What the Nazis wanted]]
They soon mobilized their armies and launched a war of expansion. Their goal was to impose their militaristic Social Darwinistic ideology across Europe, outlaw any dissenting school of thought, enslave all the "sub-human" Slavs (after starving to death more than half of them in accordance to Generalplan Ost) and exterminate any "undesirables" (Jews, Roma, homosexuals, etc) on which they blamed all their problems because they felt that they were superhumans without any flaws; any problem which they suffered had to be the fault of some subversive "other" from outside who tried to cause the Master Race misery for no other reason than "the Evulz." But due to some severe strategic fuckups from Hitler who often overruled his military leadership Germany ended up with a three-way war with the Soviet Union (who provided blood), Great Britain (overseas bases) & the United States (TREASURE!) while their major allies such as Romania & Italy capitulated during the middle years of the war. In the end, while Germany may have had some areas of technological advantage (at least initially and this is often overstated; the Wehrmacht for example could not field properly motorized divisions unlike its opponents); by the end of the war they struggled with the lack of many strategic resources and dislocation of production lines and reverted to some crude solutions) along with a chronic shortage of secure OIL there was no hope of repulsing both the Western Allies and the Soviet Union at the same time and thus the Nazi regime finally met its end when the Red Army marched into Berlin and Hitler *BLAM*med himself along with his mad-as-a-hatter common-law (and actual for 24 hour!) wife. Indeed, while their hate-wagon managed to go far and overrun Europe it simply had too much war to fight on multiple fronts, a lack of effective strategic planning in the form of Hitler and his cronies (the corpulent cross-dressing Goering for example who viewed it as his sacred duty to squander one of the world's only first-rate Air Forces) and as most powerful nations of the time opposed them either because they cherished their political freedoms (nobody cared about this), saw their economies fail (all nations arrayed against the Nazis saw THIS except the United States who did splendidly) or simply were in the Nazi "to-exterminate" list (a very broad and long list).

It is actually a known fact that through their actions the Nazis did manage to kill more white people (for non-whites there is basically no difference between a white English, German, Russian or French other than their funny accents) in recorded history than any "anti-aryan" enemy they could blame at, in fact, the war they started is one of the main reasons that none of the European countries (with the possible exception of Russia now, but the definite exception of the Soviet Union in the immediate aftermath) is the dominant power of the world after ruling much of it for almost a century.
[[Image:Reichstag flag.jpg|thumb|right|150px|What the Nazis got]]

==Nazi Portrayal==
Nazis are portrayed as people who used vile actions towards a vile end (To his credit, Hitler did envision for Germany to be the greatest nation ever. Its just that his plan to attain this was the moral equivalent of driving a bus through a busy sidewalk filled with women and children). But (and this is important) rather than just being an alien other, they represented the worst qualities of industrial Western civilization (racism, militarism, hyper-nationalism, expansionism, manifest destiny, enforced conformity, social darwinism, eugenics and so forth) inflated and turned inward against bits of Western civilization. To modern western civilization, the Nazis have the role of the great foe. The great evil that wrought death and misery on Europe which needed to be stopped by all means possible. Their known track record of starting WW2, carving a bloody swath through Europe, and their infamous ethnic genocide and enslavement campaigns against undesirables have painted them as the most evil villain that the world has ever seen.

This is the common opinion that is widely accepted and well backed by historical documents. Even so you will hear plenty of other viewpoints of the Nazis from other groups. Some will say their portrayal is riddled with the allied propaganda excessively demonizing them. Some will say that while the Nazis did give Europe a good stomping, the other participants were just as, if not more evil than the Nazis and that they're just being used as the poster boy (these people often say the [[Communism|Soviets]] had a worse track record than the Nazis in terms of people murdered by the state, or the Americans who nuked not one, but two Japanese cities.), and some people on the /pol/ side of the spectrum will say that Germany did the right thing and their enemies was actually the evil ones (remember, this is /pol/ we're talking). All in all, discussions that relate to the portrayal of Nazi Germany are bound to [[skub|generate heated debates]] due to numerous factors.

In relation to fantasy, however, varying opinions on the perceived Nazi character allows them to be looked at from varying points of view, developing their character all the more. Take the [[Imperium of Man]], for example. Some will say that the Imperium's a nutcase since they're willing to allow an Inquisitor to turn an entire hive spire into a towering inferno if he so happens to find a single heretic in a spire where millions of people reside in, on the grounds of "Hey, this guy is worshiping chaos. Those people might as well be worshiping chaos too and this might lead to the entire world rebelling. BURN EVERYONE". Some will say that the Imperium's just being pragmatic and such an action is justifiable as the Imperium is constantly beset by merciless foes who will not think twice to bring them down, as such their method for survival is cruel, but necessary. Which, given the fact that daemons really do exist and can corrupt entire planets in a short amount of time, is pretty justifiable. Even the Imperium's xenophobia is justifiable given how nearly [[Orks|all]] the [[Necrons|major]] [[Tyranids|races]] pretty much want to wipe everyone else out, [[Dark Eldar|or else]] enslave them. But that doesn't change the fact that these reasons are often just used as an excuse to torture and kill anyone who's even slightly unorthodox, either out of paranoia or because it amuses them.

==Impact on fantasy==
Militarily the Germans had, hands down one of the best armies of the time, well disciplined and well trained with experienced mid-level officers, this combined with borderline insane levels of morale at the start of the war due to years of giving the middle finger to the war wary western nations which capitulated to their demands turned the German into an [[chaos|unholy]] Juggernaut. The Germans were known to have some of the best armored tanks in the war, their small arms far outstripped the guns Europe had at the time, and were pioneers to many advanced technologies during their time that have become well known today, like jet engines, cruise missile systems, fully automatic rifles, stealth craft, and many others.

This, combined with their infamous cruelty, have spawned the Nazi-esque villain template where the villains are both powerful and [[Eldrad|gigantic dicks]] to everyone else, making them completely despicable. This is because if the villain is significantly weaker than the protagonist of the setting, most people will still feel a few grains of sympathy towards the former or make them a laughing stock. But, when you make the villain both an enormous asshole and just as or more powerful than the protagonist, all bets are off and he's fair game.

Of course, the weaknesses of Nazism also need to be taken into account, in that a lot of their supposedly superior technology turned out to be highly unstable and would frequently be outclassed and definitely out numbered by Allied designs once the latter got their shit together (this was even true at the start of the war, British Matilda II's were all but immune to German tank fire, and a column of them almost stopped Rommel at the Battle of Arras). Add poorly managed industry and the fact that supplies at times were delivered by horse (which was not actually that atypical since only America and early war Britain were that ridiculously mechanized), and you have a faction that is the epitome of style over substance. This really bit them in the ass later when the Allies, focusing on production and strategy over science fiction and tactics, managed to leg up the Third Reich and battle hardened allies soldiers became the top dogs without question. In fiction, expect the Nazi villains to have eventually have their technology outclassed or at least made irrelevant and the hardened heroes turn Nazi soldiers into cannon fodder.

On the political side of things, the batshit insane racial policies of the Nazis will be explored in fiction as being founded as junk science, or at least hypocritical when the fantasy faction's leaders turn out to not even come close to their own idea of racial purity (seriously, Hitler, Goering, Goebbels and etc. are the anti thesis to any common definition of superman). Not to mention Nazi's poltics have a tendency to make more enemies then friends preventing a 'the enemy of my enemy' situation working out in their favor.

Nazis are also the progenitors of all acceptable targets where human bad guys are concerned. Be it in vidya games or movies, nobody has a problem with Nazis getting gunned down by the hundreds by the heroes (well, the Nazis might, but screw those guys), and they don't even have to resort to the dehumanizing full helmets that most other villain goons have to wear to make slaughtering them okay.

A more comedic take on Nazis in fiction owes to wartime cartoons, where the soldiers and Nazi command are all bumbling idiots, because only an idiot would seriously consider becoming one. Hitler today has essentially been turned into a punchline with all the gags centered around him, which is kinda awesome when you think about it as dictators that wish to be feared would never want to be remembered as a joke.

===Examples===
*Many soldiers in [[Warhammer 40,000|the Imperium of Mankind]], such as the Thunder warriors and Steel legion, bare Lightning imagery. While not Nazi, the symbology shows great resemblance that of the British Union of Fascists. This is also interesting as their Leader, [[British Empire|Oswald Mosley]], was still politically active around the time of the formation of Games Workshop. Note also the symbol of the Schutzstaffel, which is a pair of twin lighting bolts.
** Furthermore, the Imperium will often draw from Nazi Germany either indirectly (hatred, bigotry, willingness to use torture, repression, and terror to their ends) to overt (The Death Korps of Krieg). Though given their love for trench warfare, the Death Korps are closer to the Germans of the First World War rather than the second. That said, he Imperium also draws from Stalinist Russia, North Korea, and even Jihadism with the Imperium's martyrdom obsession: basically, it's a grab bag of the worst of humanity's civilizations.
*In [[Star Wars]], the forces of the Galactic Empire employ some Naziesque uniforms. Also, many of the weapons used (as they were all older real-world guns with window dressing) were German in origin, namely the StG44 (A295, DLT-20A), C96 (DL-44), and MG34 (DLT-19, DC-15A). They are also noticeably all human (with notable exceptions like Thrawn) in a series with a diverse list of aliens. Also the title "Moff" is equivalent to Gauleiter in Nazi Germany.
*In [[Dr Who]], the Daleks are defined for their fanatical hatred of anything that is not a Dalek (this was intentional and for fun the creator of the daleks had their original enemy look just like the nazis wanted to look like).
*In anime, there is the Principality of Zeon from ''Mobile Suit Gundam'', which also has elements borrowed from the WWII Empire of Japan.
*The most extensive take on the theme of Space Nazis would be the Helghast from ''Killzone'', where the people of Helgan see the ISA as Imperialist gits who forced them out of their planet for refusing their rule. Although by Shadow Fall, they become akin to Communist East Germans, being filled with political radicals and separated by a wall and all.
*The aptly named "Fourth Reich" from the Metro series, who, ironically being Russian and therefore the only race the Nazis hated more than Jews (this is made substantially more odd by the fact that they're based both on the original Nazis and a large number of real-life Russian Neo-Nazi groups), still hold fast to their National Socialist ideology, however they speak little German outside of common movie lines. At constant war with the Red Line, a post-apocalyptic Communist revival. Thinks that Slavs are the superior race and all others must be destroyed. Their racial policies also extended to "mutant" humans infected with radiation.
*If you have a fantasy/sci-fi world, it will almost certainly have some sort of Nazi analogue floating around. At the same time, Nazis also figure into a lot of alternate history fiction; Nazis invading England, Nazis invading America, Nazis successfully conquering the USSR, Nazis getting the Bomb first, Nazis creating an army of mutant uber-troopers, Nazis on the Moon, Nazis using occult powers to summon demons to aid them, all of these have been done. The Nazi obsession in alternate history is largely due to the fact that we consider them (for right reasons) evil and our modern world is the result of an Allied victory. A Nazi victory to us is just unthinkable. Hell, this page itself is pretty long.
* [[Wolfenstein]] is a perfect example of just how cemented the Nazis have become into pop culture as the closest thing to [[zombie]]s in terms of guilt-free punching bags.
*Nazi ideologues may even show up in children's shows if one pays close attention (not counting war time cartoons).
**The Fire Nation from Avatar: The Last Airbender considers the element of fire to be superior to the other three (water, earth, and air) and wages a war of expansion and genocide against the other three nations, succeeding with a genocide against the air nomads. While the Fire Nation's broader culture and technology also has many connections to the Nazi's allies of Imperial Japan.
**The Gem Empire in Steven Universe hates organic life and constantly exploit planet resources to create more gems (Lebensraum). They also have a strict hierarchy and devotion to their fascist leaders, the Great Diamond Authority, and have a weird salute. They're basically The Imperium (with far more Communism-collectivism than fascism) if rather than humans they were a mix of orks and Eldar.
*It's tenuous, I know, but don't forget the influence of Nazi 'scientists' and 'doctors' doing a lot of unnecessary surgery on captive peoples in their concentration camps. *cough* Josef Mengele *cough* Some [[Necrons]] might do this. [[Fabius Bile]] won't even think twice about it if he gets his slimy hands on you. He'll just do it straight away.

== Trademarks ==
[[TSR]] had the ™ and © symbols next to the word 'Nazi' where it appeared in their Indiana Jones RPG. This was probably for the sake of the artwork reproduced from the movie, but it's been a source of teasing and flames about TSR trying to claim exclusive ownership of the term 'Nazi.' Same shit happened with Marvel and their WW2 villains, and probably with Fawcett Comics since 'Captain Nazi' was a villain fighting Captain "Shazam" Marvel.

==Nazis and [[/tg/]]==
Long ago, /tg/ realized something that most competent people have: Nazis represent a great liberating force for any GM, for they represent a force that any player need not feel any remorse over resorting to violence against, because Nazis are the textbook template for villains in most settings: they desire world domination, see themselves as the apex species and view most others with utter contempt, wanton disregard for common life, have an industry primarily geared towards war, are the most powerful warmongers, and they have that evil-yet-sublime aesthetic to their armies. Nazis are a modern setting variant of using [[slavery|slavers]] as your enemy in a fantasy game: they have little to no redeeming values, so they're great enemy fodder.

The association gives the players a motivation and to understand that these people are evil, allowing the GM to focus on other aspects of the story. Indeed, one can get similar results by simply providing details that lead us to conclude that any group you are facing off against are this universe's version of Nazis. That said, that same context makes using Nazis a double-edged sword and a lazy GM (or author, script writer, or whatever; this is hardly unique to roleplaying) can royally screw up if one uses them incorrectly. Used incorrectly, Nazis become a kitten-eating one-dimensional caricature of villains descended into self parody, which ''can'' work if the world is built for it. Kitten-eating Nazis work best in "goofy" settings where it's fully possible, and indeed expected for the final boss to be Hitler himself riding a cyborg dinosaur, but in a setting trying to take itself seriously, such flat villains do just that, fall flat and fail to incite the proper emotional reaction. Remember that the '''key''' to successful Nazi use is that emotional reaction. That exportation of real world baggage is the point, perhaps the sole point to use Nazis over some other villain. Nazis have the additional problem of not even needing to be exaggerated that much to make the worst of them into something like this. So care must be taken when one plays the Nazi card, or it will come off as trite.

Entire stretches of [[d20 Modern|d20 Past]] are shown various ways to implement, ''Indiana Jones'' style, Nazis into any campaign during the early 1900s, and [[Savage Worlds]] has an entire supplement devoted to thwarting Nazi super-soldier plans during WWII. More clever GMs can do even more interesting things with it, such as backing up the savagery of the Nazis with [[Fist of the North Star|a humanizing element to make them more understandable, even if antagonists]], whilst another interesting setting, proposed for [[GURPS]], starts the players off ''as'' Nazis and has them turn against their former comrades as the movement becomes harder and harder to justify. It's also worth remembering that Nazis can be used for comedy as well; any one here heard of ''Hogan's Heroes''? All of these lead to some pretty great storytelling, just so long as the GM is aware of the real world baggage Nazis will bring to the game and is able to use that to deepen the experience, otherwise he'll have just created orks in fancy uniforms.

...And then you have bullshit like [[Racial Holy War|this nonsense]], which misses the point entirely and renders us all stupider for the knowledge of its existence.

Unfortunately, since [[/pol/]] rose to prominence, neo-Nazism is actually considered "hip and cool" on 4chan, and as such any mention of Nazis as villains will cause that cesspit to spill onto the thread, turning it to shit.

==Nazi Gear, Weapons, and Vehicles==
For reasons above, if you decide want to use Nazis as your bad guys at tonight's game (or protagonists if you roll that way. Just don't use [[Racial Holy War|RaHoWa]] as a basis unless you want to end up with a trainwreck of a game.) [[Nazi Equipment |here]] is a brief run down of basic information on Nazi equipment.

==Gallery==

[[category:history]][[Category:Not related]]

China

2018-01-15T04:57:54Z

2600:1700:1F10:7BE0:704A:9478:42D4:A3D0: /* Modern China */

'''China''' is probably the oldest semi-continual polity in the world that anyone actually gives a shit about. Over the course of twelve major dynasties, a shitload of smaller ones, a bunch of big civil war punch-ups, one Communist dictatorship, and its current, ongoing, post-Communist oligarchy, this huge blob of East Asian grasslands/steppes/jungle/desert/mountains/everything and its billion inhabitants has had a tremendous, outsized effect on the world economy and the culture of surrounding nations.

Naturally, this has made it fertile fodder for tabletop gaming. From the [[Forgotten Realms]] to [[Pathfinder Roleplaying Game|Golarion]], few are the fantasy gaming settings ''without'' a "medieval China"-equivalent somewhere in the world. However, quite often, these Sure-Fine brand not!Chinas are about as well-researched and accurate as, well, [[Medieval Stasis|their European counterparts]], taking the broad cultural outline of a big empire ruled by a centralized bureaucracy and an all-powerful Emperor ([[God-Emperor of Mankind|who may or may not be a god / demigod]]) and a few specific trappings of architecture and dress to make what amounts to a China-based theme park for the adventurers to roam around in, seeing the sites, taking pictures, and fighting their way through that bestiary full of East-Asian monsters you never get to use.

There's nothing ''wrong'' with this, really, but there's nothing particularly interesting about it either beyond the novelty of playing a bunch of slack-jawed tourists in your adventuring campaign.

However, the ''other'' major influence China has had on tabletop gaming is through the medium of ''wuxia''.

==Wuxia==

''"'Wu' means martial arts, which signifies action, 'Xia' conveys chivalry. Wuxia. Say it gently... 'whooshah'... and it's like a breath of serenity embracing you. Say it with force, 'WuSHA!', and you can feel its power."''

<small>— Samuel L. Jackson, "The Art of Action: Martial Arts in the Movies"</small>

Thank you, Reverend Jackson.

Wuxia is what China has instead of Tolkien. Just as the Western fantasy setting has got your dwarves and your elves and your dark lords leading armies to conquer the world, China has Jianghu, literally "the Land of Rivers and Lakes", implying a sense of freedom from both normal familial obligations and the tyrannic representatives of the [[Emperor]]. In the settings, corrupt civil authority forces noble wandering heroes to live like outlaws as they fight to restore order, learn secret techniques from old masters, are forced to battle their former best friends, etc. Just like Western fantasy, there's a lot of high-brow, literary stuff, but there's also a lot of entertaining trash pumped out to fill a public appetite for it. For instance, those cheap Shaw Bros. kung fu movies are wuxia, but so are films like ''Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon'' and ''Hero''.

And, naturally, this genre has its own tabletop games.

The biggest success is probably ''[[Exalted]]'', [[White Wolf]]'s epic fantasy role-playing game. While there are, obviously, a shitload of other influences, from a corrupt cosmic bureaucracy and physical Realm in need of heroes to fix things to the super-martial arts and flowery naming conventions, Creation would simply not be recognizable without the trappings of wuxia. This is true even in a subtler sense: wuxia often focuses on tragedy and deeply-flawed heroes whose best intentions turn on them. Thanks to the Great Curse, all the exalts are, unless they do their utmost to defy their fates, doomed to destroy all they love.

Other games, like ''[[Legends of the Wulin]]'' and ''[[Feng Shui]]'' draw on the genre more overtly. Even if the latter is more about aping the whole spectrum of Hong Kong cinema than wuxia specifically, even the later "heroic bloodshed" films are basically wuxia pictures set in the modern day with guns instead of swords, cities instead of forests, and cops and triads instead of heroes and bandits. The "69 A.D." Juncture ''is'' pure wuxia though, with an Imperial Court strangled by the machinations of the evil eunuch-sorcerers known as the Eaters of the Lotus and a countryside lousy with their supernatural and mortal henchmen terrorizing the nation. And the text notes that the heroic Dragons are frequently destroyed and remade, heroes born beneath stars of tragedy who often go out fighting the good fight.

Wizards actually tried their own hand at a ''wuxia'' setting, the awesomely-named ''[[Dragon Fist]]''. Running on an early, jury-rigged d20 engine with a lot of leftover AD&D parts, it was barely-functional, but fun as hell, and set in the land of Tlanguo, though it got no support at all after the initial release. (Boooo!)

[[Legend of the Five Rings]] is usually seen as a more "Japanese" setting than a Chinese one, and it's true that there's plenty of ''jidei geki'' DNA in Rokugani society, from its strict, stratified class system and militarism to its overtly-Japanese names and weapons, to subtle things like "void" replacing "metal" as one of the Five Elements. But, there's still plenty of Chinese flavor there. Various periods in Rokugani history were far more friendly to the wuxia mien, with bands of heroic ronin fighting the power against a corrupt shogunate in the hands of the Shadowlands. In particular, the Phoenix Clan endorses a philosophy that has far more similarities to daoism than anything recognizably Japanese, and Rokugan itself, as a land-bound empire that relies on a coastal breadbasket to feed a less-productive inland and a Great Wall along a border with a dangerous and barbaric foreign power to keep the heartland safe, is much more like China than any period in Japanese history.

==History==

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_China A brief timeline]:

===Ancient China===

* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xia_dynasty Pre-History Stuff]'': The aboriginal Chinese are displaced by what will later be known as the "Han." Confusingly, a dynasty of the same name is also coming up. The Han built one of the first civilizations on Earth, with block writing, metalworking, and advanced farming techniques.
* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shang_dynasty Shang]'': According to their own traditions, they took over for an even-earlier dynasty called the Xia, but we know fuck all about them. Anyway, the Shang had bronze, which, to use technical military parlance, made them the meanest bitches on the block for a long time, and they were ''obsessed'' with divination, going through huge heaps of bones and turtle shells for fortune-telling purposes whenever anyone did anything. Their nobles also had a habit of honoring ancestors by burying hundreds of slaves in their tombs. Eventually, they became [[Imperium of Man|engaged in too many wars]], before being overthrown by...
* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhou_dynasty Zhou]'': The Zhou were a family from out in the boonies that moved onto Shang land and became vassals to the Shang. When they overthrew the Shang, they introduced the concept of a "Mandate of Heaven," issued by the cosmic forces of rightness. It was brilliant, in its own way: theoretically, each dynasty ruled by the Mandate. When they didn't do so well or justly, Heaven would withdraw the Mandate and give it to someone else who'd overthrown them. More-cynically, this meant that a ''successful'' rebellion was "proof" that Heaven had turned its back on the old order, and an ''unsuccessful'' one was "proof" that it wasn't time yet. Anyway, the Zhou had a good run, but the state's vassals started pulling apart during [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spring_and_Autumn_period Spring and Autumn period], and eventually the whole thing fractured into a mess of warring states fighting for supremacy. This was known as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warring_States_period Warring States period]. At the same time, constant conflict and the need to innovate culminated in to the "Hundred Schools". The origin of both Confucianism and Daoism in some of their earliest forms was observed.

===Early Imperial China===

* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qin_dynasty Qin]'': Probably the shortest dynasty that people actually remember and care about, but it had the great emperor Qin Shi Huangdi, and he was emperor enough for an entire family line of most lesser dynasties. Uniting the nation by military force, the so-called "First Emperor" invented probably the first modern nation-state, standardizing culture, weights, measures, roads, and countless other things to ensure that the Chinese stopped thinking of themselves as being from Lu, Jin, or Wei and started thinking of themselves as Chinese. He's got a bad reputation as a crazed mass-murderer too, but that was mostly because he made enemies with the Confucians and the Confucians wrote the history books for two millenia and some change to come. He also "abolished history" by burning all the books not containing useful technical information, keeping only a copy of each one in his private library for the leader's personal use, which was promptly lost after his death. What he built barely survived him, but there's a reason the modern nation still bears his name. (...It's pronounced "chin." Goddamn pinyin.)
* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Han_dynasty Han]'': This one's so important it's still what the Chinese call themselves as an ethnic group. Roughly contemporaneous with the Roman Empire, with each being aware of the other without ever quite meeting. They seemed to think of themselves as opposite versions of themselves on opposite ends of the world. Introduced the concept of a centralized bureaucracy offering positions to applicants who were judged by local officials based on the Confucian classics, the latter of which would survive until the Sui initiated reforms and the ''former'' of which didn't go away until the Emperor did. A hugely-prosperous, technologically-skilled, highly-advanced society, with a new coinage standard that, unfortunately, as part of a running theme, began to fall into weakness and decadence. First, the eunuchs, always resentful of their snipping, tried seizing power for themselves, only for military officers to storm the capital and slaughter them all, leading first to a tenuous military dictatorship, and then to, well...
* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Kingdoms Three Kingdoms], and the Romancing Thereoff'': The late Han dynasty and generation shortly thereafter was a great and heroic age. It was a time of larger-than-life personalities, brave generals, brilliant strategists, and masterful politicians. It is worthy of study both for historical/entertainment value and for inspiration in any good tabletop campaign that wants to have a military-political element. And it is the subject of one of the Four Classical Novels, the historical epic usually translated into "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms" in English, this being the reason of its fame. Unfortunately, it is also ''bastard complicated'', so let's just say that one of the Three Kingdoms finally usurped the Han after using them as a puppet state for a while, and then conquered the others a generation later, all the while, after successive underage emperors, being a puppet to the founders of the next dynasty. Most gamers in the west know this period due to the Dynasty Warriors series.

===[[Age of Strife]]===
* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jin_dynasty_%28265%E2%80%93420%29 Jin]'': Backstabbing, political maneuverings, coups d'état, internal conflict, corruption, political turmoil followed by clashes and war; successful and unsuccesful throne usurpings, military revolts, paranoia among royal family, more revolts and end to Jin rule.
* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_and_Southern_dynasties Northern and Southern]'': An age of civil war and political chaos complemented by a time of flourishing arts and culture, advancement in technology, and the spread of Mahayana Buddhism and Daoism. It should be noted that the Northern Dynasties were essentially [[Warriors of Chaos|barbarians]] and most of the Han fled south. Key technological advances occurred during this period, but more important was the spread of agricultural tech to the south, cementing their status as major taxgivers. The invention of the stirrup during the earlier Jin dynasty (265–420) helped to ignite the development of heavy cavalry. Advances in medicine, astronomy, mathematics, and cartography are observed by historians.

===Medieval Imperial China===
* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sui_dynasty Sui]'': The good: they reunited a divided China, and 1)successfully undertook such vast internal-improvement projects as the Grand Canal connecting the city of Beijing in the north to the city of Hangzhou in the south, a thousand miles away; 2) initiated the test reforms, which will slowly change China into the model state in Voltaire's eyes in the course of five hundred years. The bad: they were extravagant assholes and control freaks whose projects were built on a foundation of peasant bones mortared with blood. Fell apart after one emperor's repeated attempts to conquer Korea against dogged resistance and interference from the top broke the back of the army.
* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tang_dynasty Tang]'': The Emperor Li Yuan, who seized the capital from the Sui, is his dynasty in microcosm. When he took power, the people thought he would be the greatest emperor in their nation's history; energetic, brilliant, skilled at all manner of government, military, and artistic tasks. He stabilized the shaking nation. Then he turned into a paranoid, murderous asshole as he got older until he finally got deposed. Sounds about right. This is the age in which the Chinese invented gunpowder, and, at its height, it was also the richest, most-advanced, most-cosmopolitan society on Earth, rolfstomping basically every thing that crossed the great houses of the dynasty. Problem is such conquest was completed by governor-generals that can tax their lands, which allowed them to rebel quite easily. Once things started falling apart, a radical sect of Confucianism began attempting to purge China of "outside influences" and restore China to the good old days through teaching and circulating their works, including Christianity and Buddhism. Buddhism survived, Christianity (Nestorians) did not.

===Second Age of Strife===

* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Dynasties_and_Ten_Kingdoms_period Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms]'': The period of political disunity between the Tang and the Song, known as the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms period. During this period, five states quickly succeeded one another in the Chinese Central Plain, while more than a dozen concurrent states were established elsewhere, mainly in south China. During this half-century, China was in all respects a multi-state system.
* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Song_dynasty Song]'': Invading barbarians devastated a Tang dynasty that was already eating itself alive from within. After a brief but invigorating series of civil wars and abortive wanna-be dynasts, an opportunistic general seized control of a splinter state that begun uniting China, and would go on to overlap with the Yuan for a while until the Mongols finally finished 'em off. The Song dynasty was, no bones about it, a cultural and economic powerhouse. They invented such modern marvels as paper money, steam and water-powered industry, and mass production. They also created beautiful and marvelous art, like pots depicting ponds on which fish appeared when water was poured in, or rice that smelled like flowers while it was cooking. However, they were ''also'' weak politically and militarily, and their ongoing "sour grapes" stance toward most of their neighbors, combined with Neo-Confucian abhorrence at the thought of allowing ''merchants'' to do the fighting, prevented them from properly leveraging the economic advantages of their hyper-advanced economy to dominate them with "soft power," and their underdeveloped understanding of economics meant many of these advances were eventually abandoned by a society not ready for their consequences. Ultimately gave in to...
* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yuan_dynasty Yuan]'': Goddamn Mongolians. Technically "started" by Genghis Khan himself, it only really became a Chinese-style dynasty when his grandson, Kublai Khan, set up his capital in Khanbaliq (later Dadu, modern Beijing). Like the Greeks and the Romans, the "conquering" Mongolians slowly resembled their Chinese subjects. Culturally, this was the beginning of the modern Chinese novel and drama, though always with the wary eye of Imperial censors lurking over the writers' shoulders. (This was nothing new, incidentally, though the volume sure was.) This was also the dynasty that brought China to the West's attention, partly due to the Mongol invasions threatening Eastern Europe, and partly due to Marco Polo's accounts of the reign of Kublai Khan. The Mongols generally imported nobles rather than using locals, so a variety of Middle Easterners were brought in to manage and police the Chinese nation, while Chinese bureaucrats were sent to the Middle East to manage and police it. This is the origin of the Hui people, Muslim descendants of intermarrying foreign officials and soldiers who maintain their faith today and served as some of the most disciplined and feared of all Chinese soldiers in future wars. Eventually, the Yuan proved how "Chinese" they'd become by going out in the traditional Chinese way: collapsing into a mass of squabbling warlords and decadence because of fiscal disaster. Notably, the fleeing Khan took the ancient Imperial Seal dating all the way back to ol' Qin Shi Huangdi himself with him when he went back to Mongolia, and no one's ever found where he stashed it.

===Late Imperial China===

* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ming_dynasty Ming]'': Founded by an illiterate peasant-turned-warlord, Zhu Yuanzhang, who stands aside such figures as Oliver Cromwell of England, Jeanne d'Arc of France, and the Prophet Muhammad of Arabia as one of the great completely self-taught military minds of human history, the Ming dominated the remains of the decaying Yuan empire with a mixture of [[Orks|brutal cunning]] and [[Creed|tactical genius]]. He went the way of Li Yuan by the end, but the dynasty he founded was the stablest and most-powerful China ruled by the Chinese in generations. It combined the economic power of the Song with the military might of the Yuan and the cultural sophistication of both into one of the grandest empires in human history. Politically, of course, they were rather repressive and authoritarian, but it was ''also'' a very literate society for its time, with openly-female writers and readers getting lots of cred. This dynasty also saw the absolutely ''epic'' world-journey of the eunuch-admiral Zheng He, that was the closest the real-world ever got to a sea-based ''Dungeons & Dragons'' campaign. Unfortunately, due to the influence of the Neo-Confucians, their own self-sufficiency and comparative sophistication compared to the rest of the world, and good ol' fashioned racist jingoism, Ming China was very isolationist and arrogant. This, combined with long-term peace, led to a decay of military strength, especially as they insisted on inventing their own kinds of [[firearm]] rather than importing cheaper European models, and pervasive corruption and eunuch-influence at the top rotted everything it touched. Humiliatingly, after three centuries, the dynasty came to an end not when the next one stepped up to the plate, but when a ''fucking peasant revolt'' got there first and the Emperor committed suicide, leaving a gap for the Manchus to back right into.
* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qing_dynasty Qing]'': As mentioned above, the semi-nomadic Manchu invaded China from beyond the Great Wall and took over as the Qing dynasty. When you learn about the Opium Wars, the Boxer Rebellion, and Spheres of Influence in middle school, this is the dynasty it all happened in. As the last dynasty, the Qing basically reached a point of such decadence and corruption that military budgets were spent on building palaces, and attempts to modernize and "Westernize" China as Meiji Japan did were met with unremitting hostility by entrenched political factions within the Imperial palace. It got so bad that even an Emperor could be arrested and killed for trying to fight corruption. Eventually, with China basically becoming a big cake being sliced up by stronger colonial powers, a young American Anglican named Sun Yat-Sen decided it was time to get rid of the imperial dynasties and establish a modern, Westernized, democratic republic. In 1912, the 7-year old Emperor abdicated (though he retained part of the Forbidden City and was paid an annual stipend), and the line of dynasties came to an end.
===THIRD Age of Strife===
*'''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Republic_of_China_(1912%E2%80%9349) Republic of China (1912-1915)]'': Sun Yat-Sen only became president with the help of Yuan Shikai, a Qing general who forced the Republicans to name him president if he made the Qing Emperor step down, with the support of most of the modernized Qing armies stationed in northern China and around the capital of Beijing. As promised, Yuan Shikai was made the new President of the Republic. A year later, having won national elections and taken control of parliament, Yuan further increased his power, such as making him able to name a successor ''by law''. Sun Yat-Sen's chosen successor was assassinated by "persons unknown", and the same fate would befall those suspected by investigators of having some role in the assassination. All things pointed to Yuan Shikai being responsible, but no charges could be filed as all potential suspects and witnesses were dead. With an abortive revolt crushed in Southern China, and the mechanisms of government in his hands, nothing much could be done when Yuan declared himself the Hongxian Emperor.
* ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warlord_Era Warlord Era]'': Yuan Shikai's short-lived dynasty was defeated by a coalition of anti-monarchist armies from the south, and Yuan died shortly thereafter. However, rather than re-establishing the Republic, Yuan's defeat and death simply saw many of his followers take their own portions of the army and establish warlord states throughout northern China. One of these factions became known as the Beiyang Government and claimed itself the legitimate government of the Republic of China. Sun Yat-Sen's Nationalists retreated to the south and became warlords themselves, calling for war against the autocratic Beiyang. Dozens of lesser warlords proliferated throughout China's provinces, and the Beiyang government joined the Allies in World War I in the hopes of recovering territories taken by Germany and Austria-Hungary during the Qing Dynasty, mainly Shandong.
*''Nanking Government of the Republic of China'': Starting in 1927, over the course of one year, the Nationalist army broke the back of three major warlords of the north, nominally unifying China under one government. The remaining warlords resisted Nanking's concentration of power, causing even more bloodshed.
===Modern China===
*''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/China People's Republic (aka Communist China)]'': This is the era of history that, for better or worse, most Westerners are familiar with. To make a long, winding, and rather complicated story short, nearly everything in China nowadays can be traced to the efforts of one man; Mao Zedong, the leader of the then-outlawed Communist Party of China. Beginning in 1927, he warred against the nationalist government under Chiang Kai-Shek. Although they put their war on hold to kick the Japanese out of their country during the Second World War, by 1949, the nationalist government was pushed back to Taiwan (where they still rule today), and mainland China was unified under the communist red flag. For the next 50 or so years, the Chinese would play an interesting role in the Cold War between the USA and USSR; first as allies to the Russians until the Sino-Soviet split in '69, then as sort of-friends to the US after Nixon negotiated an agreement with them. As for Mao, historians are notably [[Skub|divided on his record as a politician]]. While it is agreed the man was a brilliant general, literally writing the book ''On Guerrilla Warfare'', the mixed reaction comes from his rather disastrous socio-economic policies. (and by that, we mean left around 72 million Chinese dead, from a mixture of starvation, political purges, and a ten-year period of anarchy that made the Reign of Terror look like a birthday party because it was legal for people to tell armies to hand over their weapons). His detractors will claim utopian stupidity, malicious tyranny, or a mix of both, while his supporters usually will make the claim that he just made honest mistakes. Nevertheless, his successors felt that the country was going to implode if they pursued any of Mao's hard left policies any further, so now we're in a weird state of limbo where a country that's still being ruled by the authoritarian Communist Party is pushing the country more and more towards capitalism. But don't suggest China will become a democracy anytime soon. The last time they tried that twenty-five years ago, things [[Baneblade|didn't turn out so good]] for everyone involved.

==Culture==

There's a lot of it, and it's surprisingly relevant.

In Western antiquity, there were supposedly four "classical elements," namely air, fire, water, and earth (The Greeks also included aether, but because was an ethereal material that existed beyond earth it was usually left out). You know this. Don't pretend you don't, it's in ''fucking everything''. But, in classical China, there were ''five'': fire, water, earth, ''wood'', and ''metal''. And, just as all of Europe copied the Greeks, all of Asia copied China, with varying degrees of fidelity. Japan, for instance, had void instead of metal and air instead of wood. This more-or-less introduced the idea of "opposing" elements and elemental weaknesses, [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9f/FiveElementsCycleBalanceImbalance_02_plain.svg via a complex web of interactions]. Think how boring and tactically-flat so many games would be if certain kinds of damage didn't work better on certain enemies!

Many games play with this alternate elemental system. Aside from ''Legend of the Five Rings'', ''Pathfinder'' and the ''[[Dresden Files RPG]]'' both offer variant rules using it instead of the classics. It certainly makes for an interesting change.

Meanwhile, let's talk about religion. While Christianity has its own traditions of warrior-monks, usually represented as [[cleric|clerics]] or [[paladin|paladins]], the Chinese tradition is arguably the most distinctive. Two of the three major Chinese religions/philosophies, taoism and buddhism, emphasize meditation and discipline, which is strenuous to both the body and mind. Thus, they invented systems of exercises to strengthen both, called "kung fu," or, literally, "hard work."
Then, when they needed to act as local militias defending against marauding bandits, it turned out having intense mental focus and physical stamina made them damn good fighters, and the rest is history. And that, ladies and gentlemen is where the modern ''D&D'' [[monk]] came from.

In particular, taoist practices emphasize the existence of a kind of underlying substance of which everything is made, called ''qi''. ''Qi'' is a kind of... energy field, created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us; it binds [[Star Wars|you get where this joke is going, right]]? Anyway, in ''Exalted'', qi and essence are almost literally the same thing, and the monk and its various similar classes in ''D&D'' have "ki pools" that offer fancy new abilities.

Anyway, the Chinese ''also'' envisioned Heaven as containing a system, a Celestial Bureaucracy mirroring the one on Earth, that kept the world running according to various agreements and contracts between the gods. Most tabletop settings have similar rules, regulations, and restrictions on the gods to explain why they subcontract out to adventurers, and though most of the gods and personalities of, say, the average ''D&D'' campaign setting have more to do with Western paganism than anything recognizably Chinese, the ''system'' of how they operate is more Chinese than Western simply because they ''can't'' just do as they please.

In more general terms, Chinese religion is a pretty mixed bag that leaves most outsiders confused. Yes, there are the three "main" religions of Taoism, Buddhism, and Confucianism, but they're all considered inclusive of one another, so it's possible to be a practitioner of all three. Furthermore, you've got the myriad traditions of the ancient Folk Religion, centered around heaven and ancestor worship. Even after the communist purges, ancient folklore and superstition still has a strong influence among the common people, a fixation on luck being one such example. Another such superstition lead to the creation of "hopping vampires"... which are exactly what they sound like. Ok, they're more like zombies with extreme rigor mortis, but you get the idea. Anyways, if you want something that deviates from Western Mythology, the Chinese have an interesting set of ideas.

[[Category: History]]

Europa Universalis

2018-01-15T04:42:01Z

2600:1700:1F10:7BE0:704A:9478:42D4:A3D0:

{{skub}}
A medieval wargame played on your computer. It is very popular and several titles have spun off from it.

Original has a Grand Campaign starting in 1483. Preceded by Crusader Kings, followed by Victoria and then Hearts of Iron.

Build armies, trade, massacre natives, kill peasants, become Emperor. There's even space marines!(Look up Prussian Space Marines.)

Europa Universalis 4 is the latest game of the series. Earliest possible start is in 1444. There are many historical start options but the most popular one is of course, "Rise of the Ottomans" (Rise of Kebab). Where you can start as Ottomans and try to conquer Europe, Middle East and North Africa. <s>It is also the strongest nation in the game, officially declared by Paradox as a tip on loading screen</s> bitch no that's [[China|Ming]]. Or you can start as Austria, with whom you spam Personal Unions (making another nation your bitch through diplomatic marriage) and try to unify Holy Roman Empire. Or you can start as Prussia, where you try to stay low, hope for best that Mama Austria does not realize that you are trying to steal her Reich. Later seize the moment and with the legitimacy of annexed German city-states, establish Germany. You can be Poland and with your mighty bitch Lithuania, try to expand into Eastern Europe or crusade onto Kebab. You can be Russia and build a Eurasian Empire straight from Putin's most fervent wet dreams, drowning any enemy in hordes of musket armed peasants as you go. You can be Portugal or Castile who establish the largest overseas colonies. You can be France, after reconquering France cores and have fun with that sweet +%20 morale. Or be England, establish a trade Empire. Be Burgundy because fuck Austria, England and France at the same time.

Every uncultured plebeian can learn a lot of history from this game if they read the writings on the screen while playing.

Or be Ulm, because Ulm has the biggest advantage. Now there are lots of achievments to achieve, and they are fun. It is one of the aspects that makes EU4 not boring over time because simple, there is so much to do. I mean you have to conquer all of the world with a tiny Japanese island to get an achievement, which I think is impossible (at least in current patch). Even with mighty Kebab, it is not certain. Anyway Ulm is the greatest even though it is a tiny one province, free-city. You know why? Because aim of the game is to write your country's name biggest on the world map. And Ulm is only 3 letters long therefore Ulm has the greatest font size. Whose name is greater do you think if France or Ulm were to conquer Europe, ofc Ulm.
Also this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSlGdnbIUw8
And this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYMRjnM6j6w

Europa Universalis

2018-01-15T04:41:23Z

2600:1700:1F10:7BE0:704A:9478:42D4:A3D0:

{{skub}}
A medieval wargame played on your computer. It is very popular and several titles have spun off from it.

Original has a Grand Campaign starting in 1483. Preceded by Crusader Kings, followed by Victoria and then Hearts of Iron.

Build armies, trade, massacre natives, kill peasants, become Emperor. There's even space marines!(Look up Prussian Space Marines.)

Europa Universalis 4 is the latest game of the series. Earliest possible start is in 1444. There are many historical start options but the most popular one is of course, "Rise of the Ottomans" (Rise of Kebab). Where you can start as Ottomans and try to conquer Europe, Middle East and North Africa. <s>It is also the strongest nation in the game, officially declared by Paradox as a tip on loading screen</s> bitch no that's [[China|Ming]]. Or you can start as Austria, with whom you spam Personal Unions (making another nation your bitch through diplomatic marriage) and try to unify Holy Roman Empire. Or you can start as Prussia, where you try to stay low, hope for best that Mama Austria does not realize that you are trying to steal her Reich. Later seize the moment and with the legitimacy of annexed German city-states, establish Germany. You can be Poland and with your mighty bitch Lithuania, try to expand into Eastern Europe or crusade onto Kebab. You can be Russia and build a Eurasian Empire straight from Putin's most fervent wet dreams, drowning any enemy in hordes of peasants. You can be Portugal or Castile who establish the largest overseas colonies. You can be France, after reconquering France cores and have fun with that sweet +%20 morale. Or be England, establish a trade Empire. Be Burgundy because fuck Austria, England and France at the same time.

Every uncultured plebeian can learn a lot of history from this game if they read the writings on the screen while playing.

Or be Ulm, because Ulm has the biggest advantage. Now there are lots of achievments to achieve, and they are fun. It is one of the aspects that makes EU4 not boring over time because simple, there is so much to do. I mean you have to conquer all of the world with a tiny Japanese island to get an achievement, which I think is impossible (at least in current patch). Even with mighty Kebab, it is not certain. Anyway Ulm is the greatest even though it is a tiny one province, free-city. You know why? Because aim of the game is to write your country's name biggest on the world map. And Ulm is only 3 letters long therefore Ulm has the greatest font size. Whose name is greater do you think if France or Ulm were to conquer Europe, ofc Ulm.
Also this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSlGdnbIUw8
And this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYMRjnM6j6w

Europa Universalis

2018-01-15T04:40:45Z

2600:1700:1F10:7BE0:704A:9478:42D4:A3D0:

{{skub}}
A medieval wargame played on your computer. It is very popular and several titles have spun off from it.

Original has a Grand Campaign starting in 1483. Preceded by Crusader Kings, followed by Victoria and then Hearts of Iron.

Build armies, trade, massacre natives, kill peasants, become Emperor. There's even space marines!(Look up Prussian Space Marines.)

Europa Universalis 4 is the latest game of the series. Earliest possible start is in 1444. There are many historical start options but the most popular one is of course, "Rise of the Ottomans" (Rise of Kebab). Where you can start as Ottomans and try to conquer Europe, Middle East and North Africa. <s>It is also the strongest nation in the game, officially declared by Paradox as a tip on loading screen</s> bitch no that's [[China|Ming]]. Or you can start as Austria, with whom you spam Personal Unions (making another nation your bitch through diplomatic marriage) and try to unify Holy Roman Empire. Or you can start as Prussia, where you try to stay low, hope for best that Mama Austria does not realize that you are trying to steal her Reich. Later seize the moment and with the legitimacy of annexed German city-states, establish Germany. You can be Poland and with your mighty bitch Lithuania, try to expand into Eastern Europe or crusade onto Kebab. You can be Russia and build a Eurasian Empire straight from Putin's most fervent wet dreams. You can be Portugal or Castile who establish the largest overseas colonies. You can be France, after reconquering France cores and have fun with that sweet +%20 morale. Or be England, establish a trade Empire. Be Burgundy because fuck Austria, England and France at the same time.

Every uncultured plebeian can learn a lot of history from this game if they read the writings on the screen while playing.

Or be Ulm, because Ulm has the biggest advantage. Now there are lots of achievments to achieve, and they are fun. It is one of the aspects that makes EU4 not boring over time because simple, there is so much to do. I mean you have to conquer all of the world with a tiny Japanese island to get an achievement, which I think is impossible (at least in current patch). Even with mighty Kebab, it is not certain. Anyway Ulm is the greatest even though it is a tiny one province, free-city. You know why? Because aim of the game is to write your country's name biggest on the world map. And Ulm is only 3 letters long therefore Ulm has the greatest font size. Whose name is greater do you think if France or Ulm were to conquer Europe, ofc Ulm.
Also this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSlGdnbIUw8
And this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYMRjnM6j6w

Europa Universalis

2018-01-15T04:40:29Z

2600:1700:1F10:7BE0:704A:9478:42D4:A3D0:

{{skub}}
A medieval wargame played on your computer. It is very popular and several titles have spun off from it.

Original has a Grand Campaign starting in 1483. Preceded by Crusader Kings, followed by Victoria and then Hearts of Iron.

Build armies, trade, massacre natives, kill peasants, become Emperor. There's even space marines!(Look up Prussian Space Marines.)

Europa Universalis 4 is the latest game of the series. Earliest possible start is in 1444. There are many historical start options but the most popular one is of course, "Rise of the Ottomans" (Rise of Kebab). Where you can start as Ottomans and try to conquer Europe, Middle East and North Africa. <s>It is also the strongest nation in the game, officially declared by Paradox as a tip on loading screen</s> bitch no that's [[China|Ming]]. Or you can start as Austria, with whom you spam Personal Unions (making another nation your bitch through diplomatic marriage) and try to unify Holy Roman Empire. Or you can start as Prussia, where you try to stay low, hope for best that Mama Austria does not realize that you are trying to steal her Reich. Later seize the moment and with the legitimacy of annexed German city-states, establish Germany. You can be Poland and with your mighty bitch Lithuania, try to expand into Eastern Europe or crusade onto Kebab. You can be Russia and build a Eurasian Empire straight from Putin's most fervent wet dream. You can be Portugal or Castile who establish the largest overseas colonies. You can be France, after reconquering France cores and have fun with that sweet +%20 morale. Or be England, establish a trade Empire. Be Burgundy because fuck Austria, England and France at the same time.

Every uncultured plebeian can learn a lot of history from this game if they read the writings on the screen while playing.

Or be Ulm, because Ulm has the biggest advantage. Now there are lots of achievments to achieve, and they are fun. It is one of the aspects that makes EU4 not boring over time because simple, there is so much to do. I mean you have to conquer all of the world with a tiny Japanese island to get an achievement, which I think is impossible (at least in current patch). Even with mighty Kebab, it is not certain. Anyway Ulm is the greatest even though it is a tiny one province, free-city. You know why? Because aim of the game is to write your country's name biggest on the world map. And Ulm is only 3 letters long therefore Ulm has the greatest font size. Whose name is greater do you think if France or Ulm were to conquer Europe, ofc Ulm.
Also this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSlGdnbIUw8
And this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYMRjnM6j6w