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Exorcist

2019-12-13T02:06:21Z

2600:1700:BF90:B950:A49E:9857:8C8B:4BBF:

''Not to be confused with the [[Exorcists]] Chapter of the [[Space Marines]].''

[[File:Exorcist8th.jpg|300px|thumb|right|MOTHERFUCKING SPACE PIPE ORGAN MISSILE TANK]]

The '''Exorcist''' is the main artillery unit employed by the [[Sisters of Battle]]. It is similar in construction to the [[Space Marine]]s' [[Whirlwind Artillery Tank]], in that it is a [[Rhino]] body with a missile launcher on top, though where the Whirlwind fires one missile with a large blast radius, the Exorcist fires many smaller missiles of higher strength but more concentrated effect.

At least, that's the goal. Unfortunately, the Exorcist is a very old pattern, dating to the [[Age of Apostasy]] (in fact, some of the tanks constructed then are still in service), and the [[Ecclesiarchy]] is of the opinion that it would be [[heresy]] to allow a less holy branch of the [[Imperium]] to use these vehicles of divine retribution. As such, the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] (whose relations with the Ecclesiarchy are strained at best) only gets to service the Exorcists very infrequently, so the machine spirits are a little unstable. An Exorcist may fire six missiles in a single salvo, or just one, or any number in between (as the launcher's type is Heavy [[d6]]).

This was buffed in 8th edition, where Guilliman apparently browbeat the Sororitas into bringing their vehicles in for a tune-up, and now they fire [[Awesome|3d3 missiles]].
==Overview==

There are two main patterns of Exorcists in existence. The most familiar is the Prioris pattern that first appeared in the Witch Hunters codex, with a missile-launching pipe organ mounted on the back. A year before, [[Forge World]] had released the Sanctorum pattern to go with the early 3rd edition Chapter Approved codex. As the Exorcist had absolutely zero fluff or art at the time, they took the easy route and made it a Whirlwind expy sporting two twelve-rocket launch pods, a more sensible design but vastly less awesome than the VLS organ.

Ironically, not building the Exorcist for the Emperor's armies breaches the Treaty of Olympus. The Ministorum is not part of the military. As such, restricting the Exorcist's (and other vehicles) use to the Ministorum is both heresy and treason by ''their own laws''. Of course breaking laws like this is pretty standard for the Imperium. Also don't tell the Sisters that they're breaking any laws. It can, and will, result in being purged.

If you're wondering how a pipe organ on a Rhino works like a tank, let me educate you. The exorcist is basically a MLRS (Or Multiple Launch Rocket System for those who do not know) top-attack ATGM (Anti-Tank Guided Missile) in a VLS (Vertical Launch System) configuration; as you can see the military loves acronyms. That pipe organ on the back of this Rhino, that's that rocket system that fires the rockets. The fire control, the keyboard. Also, while this might make you think its an artillery piece, that's not correct. The rockets the Exorcist fires are meant to bust vehicles, not masses of infantry. This is why the exorcist launcher does not use a blast template and why it looks like a freakin' pipe organ. The rockets would have to go straight up, arch downward and strike the thinnest armor on the vehicle, the top of it. Basically the same as a modern-day Javelin missile. That being said, if the roll is high enough, it can destroy a massive amount of infantry in one salvo because nobody likes being brained by meter-long missiles. For a real life equivalent, get a look at the russian 9K330 Tor SAM, same basic design even if it kills planes and not tanks.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Exorcist SOB.jpg|Le Old School.
File:Exorcist_fw.jpg|The Sanctorum Pattern
</gallery>
{{Template:Sisters-of-Battle}}
{{40k-Imperial-Vehicles}}
[[Category:Sisters of Battle]]

Cato Sicarius

2019-12-12T09:18:11Z

2600:1700:BF90:B950:A49E:9857:8C8B:4BBF:

[[File:Cato Fall of Damnos.JPG|260px|thumb|right|"I, CATO SICARIUS, will lead you to the keg party! Toga, toga, toga!"]]
{{MattWard}}
{{topquote|1=Excuse me, but you must mean that it is one of the greatest deeds the Chapter has ever accomplished! And it was thanks to '''I''', Cato Sicarius, because that is what it is! And '''I''', Cato Sicarius, was thinking that it was the most righteous time to remind you that '''I''', Cato Sicarius, to be your rightful heir as the new Chapter Master.|2=[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bM8YGsAmeqE&feature=youtu.be&t=2m12s <s>Cato Sicarius</s> Cunto Shitarius]}}
{{Topquote|Lead me, follow me, or get the hell out of my way.|George S. Patton Jr.}}
{{Topquote|Papa Smurf '''always''' says...|Brainy Smurf (repeatedly, and often followed by a kicking from the others).}}
'''Cato Sicarius''' (Or according to Autocorrect, '''Catonsville Aquarius''') (no relation to the [[Ordo Sicarius]]) is the leader of the [[Victrix Guard]] and formerly the [[Brother-Captain]] of the [[Ultramarines]]' Second Company. Among his titles are Master of the Watch, Knight Champion of Macragge, Grand Duke of Talassar, Cunto Shitarius, and High Shiggydiggytee of who gives a damn. [[Guy Haley|A better writer than Ward]] recited the whole litany once (we can imagine him sighing at his keyboard), but ''then'' [[Awesome|immediately followed up]] by saying, from the perspective of [[Roboute Guilliman|the fucking primarch himself]] that <s>Cun</s>Cato had "an ego to match" each of them. To those who like that particular epithet for the Ultras, he's Brainy Smurf to Marneus Calgar's Papa Smurf (for being an arrogant, smug know-it-all who gets brought down a peg whenever he gets too full of himself. Both also have a verbal tic of repeating names).

Hailing from the planet Talassar, Sicarius was [[Brother-Sergeant|Veteran Sergeant]] of the Second Company under Captain [[Severus Agemman]], the Captain of the 5th Company and Master Of The Marches by the time [[Hive Fleet Behemoth]] arrived to nom on [[Ultramar]]. After the First Company was horrendously nommed to the last man during the Battle for Macragge, Agemman was [[Promotions|promoted]] to First Captain and charged with filling up the First Company, with Sicarius replacing him as Captain of the Second Company, and Caito Galenus replacing Sicarius as Captain of the 5th Company. In the following two hundred and fifty some odd years, Sicarius has garnered a reputation for heroism and valiant actions surpassed only by a few others. Many within the Chapter believe that when [[Marneus Calgar]] dies, it will be Sicarius who succeeds him as [[Chapter Master]], even though Agemman (being First Captain) is the nominally designated successor. Agemman obviously hates this, but loves bringing it up specifically to get under Cato's skin, because the two of them hate each other [[Codex Astartes|for a bunch of other reasons.]]

He's one of the many fluff-based complaints against [[Matt Ward]], due to rather unbelievable feats such as repelling a ''one million'' Tau army with only thousand marines, which is rather unbelievable. You know, when you get outnumbered 1000 to 1, no matter how superhuman your soldiers are, they have no chances, even against [[grot]]s, not to mention tough as nails angry warmonger barbarians or high-tech space communists with an unholy amount of firepower.

Unless you're [[Sly Marbo]], of course. But that goes without saying (or the winged hussars https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Hod%C3%B3w).

In the end, of course, it turned out that [[Shadowsun]] just manipulated Cato to keep the Marines together, rather than separating them to support [[Imperial Guard]] as spearhead. So while Sicarius and his ragtag band was busy liberating three (and a half!) planets, the [[Tau Empire]] conquered three dozen more, effortlessly smashing through [[Planetary Defence Force]]s and Imperial Guard. Oh yeah he also killed a Transcendent [[C'Tan]]. Without being instantly turned to dust. Though somehow he was completely outclassed by [[Imperial Armour|The Undying of Damnos]] (who was going nuts via the [[Necron Destroyer|Destroyer]] madness). (If you must know, he broke his own self imposed rules and used a vortex grenade)
He also has about six canon models of him (the one not shown here is the Captain form the ''Assault on Black Reach'' starter). Meanwhile, [[Tu'Shan]] is still waiting for ''one'' model and ''rules'', while the [[Iron Hands]] are still waiting for ''special characters''.

Most Ultramarine armies will have his heraldry, due to it being more or less the default.

As of the latest Codex: Space Marines, he got lost in The Warp after being sent back to Macragge by Guilliman to protect it, where he spent an undisclosed amount of time murdering daemons that breached his ship while they found a way out. While Sevastus Acheran assumed his captain role, he eventually got out and joined Guilliman on the Indomitus Crusade, where Guilliman, despite fatherly sighs aplenty at Sicarius's arrogance, took a liking to him despite himself because he reminded Guilliman of [[Aeonid Thiel]], the great hero of the war of Calth, with whom he was very close. So anyway, Bobby G wound up taking Cato under his direct tutelage to temper the dickishness and hot-headedness out of him, much to the surprise and chagrin of [[Marneus Calgar|Papa Smurf]], who's currently getting the short-end of the stick ever since Guilliman has been essentially taking over his station (although, since he knows what's at stake, he's not outright [[Perturabo|bitter]] (...[[Horus|we hope]]?))

== Un-assholing the asshole ==
[[Nick Kyme]] and [[Graham McNeill]], in the Ultramarines books they've written, have played with Sicarius' character, showing his desire for glory putting the Second Company in extreme danger, and having several of his own sergeants suspicious about his motives. Nick Kyme's Space Marine Battles novel about the fall of Damnos shows the real reason the Ultramarines lost: because Sicarius insisted on winning an actual victory instead of just [[Exterminatus|blowing the planet to kingdom come]], which [[Varro Tigurius]] ultimately did after Sicarius had his ass handed to him (Which didn't work at all since Damnos became a major Tomb World). Gods of Mars also noted this with one character (present during the Damnos Evacuation) saying that meeting Sicarius was the biggest anti-climax of his life because Sicarius gave every impression of feeling like he had lost personally, not the Ultramarines or the planet's population.

That said his way of thinking wasn't wrong, the Real Problem was that the Necrons outnumbered the Ultramarines 500 to one; and unlike other races they get back up, while the 2nd was mostly worn down by sheer attrition. Were any other forces present, Damnos could have been saved. In Graham McNeill's Ultramarines series, Sicarius acts as chief prosecutor (which is, technically, one of his roles as Captain of the 2nd) when [[Uriel Ventris]] and Pasanius Lysane are put on trial for violating the [[Codex Astartes]], having such a smug attitude toward his fellow Captain that even the [[Eldar]] would think he was being rude. While there is no denying he's ambitious, Sicarius takes extreme offense at insinuations that he's gunning for Chapter Master. Which means you can just rationalize Ward's fluff as just propaganda (in fact MOST of the codex reads like what Ultramar believes their chapter is). This wouldn't be the first time 40k had an asshole glory hound painted as the greatest hero ever, they're just usually in the [[Imperial Guard]]. (Space Marines who are glory hounds and heroes in evidence aplenty, even some who are assholes, just not to the level of [[That Guy|this motherfucker.]])

That said he's been getting some character development turning him into a rather likable guy, namely in Veil of Darkness and Warzone Damnos. Such as the reason for his smugness during Uriel Ventris was because Cato was a long time friend (and Champion) of Captain Idaeus blaming Ventris for his death. On top of that, the typical Ultrasmurf Mary Sueishness aside, Sicarius is the only Ultramarines special character who regularly wears his damn helmet, and that’s gotta be worth brownie points for (un)common sense, at least. And oh Emperor, that armor looks awesome! And those who still can't get over his continual Mary Sue achievements have taken great joy in that he's been relegated from being on the front line all the time killing Necron and Tau armies with his pinky toe to guarding his resurrected primarch. This amounts to standing in front of doors while Grandpapa smurf talks to important people/sleeps/RAGES at what the Imperium became, or throwing himself into a lascannon shot pointed in Guiliman's direction. Seems the wrath of Ward can go both ways.

After the Gathering Storm and the return of [[Roboute Guilliman]], Sicarius is appointed Captain of the [[Victrix Guard]], Guilliman's new (old) [[Honour Guard]], and seems to have ceded command of the 2nd Company to Captain Acheran, the Primaris Captain on the front of the Dark Imperium box set, though he seems to have kept his other titles. Seeing a little of [[Aeonid Thiel]] in Sicarius, but also recognizing that his combat prowess is equal only to his ego, Guilliman has wisely moved him out of strategic command and into a role as a guard captain, where Cato can always follow his lord into the thickest combat to fight duels and jump in front of bullets and do other brave courageous things. Guilliman also hopes to temper his personality to forge him into the leader he could be, in addition to the warrior he already is.

Dark Imperium: Plague War establishes that he has gotten some pretty major PTSD from his experiences being lost in the warp. What exactly happened to him isn't shown, but its clear that a lot of his men got killed in pretty horrible ways and it took a great toll on him. Enough to grow a moustache.

==Cato's Many Titles and Honours==
Cato Sicarius is such a glory hound that he's responsible for one of the Ultramarine's several deviations from the Codex Astartes, as well as having titles that actually exceed the station of his peers.

*'''Master of the Watch''': Firstly and perhaps least controversially Cato holds/held the position as his right as Captain of the 2nd Company. Part of the duties of Master of the Watch involve maintaining the Chapter Fortress Monastery; somewhere he hasn't been in a long time since becoming Guilliman's pet captain and bodyguard. Presumably Acheran took it when his tenure as 2nd Captain began, though as it stands, Cato still has it listed as one of his titles.
*'''Grand Duke of Talassar''' comes from his birth family as a noble from his home world and is therefore hereditary. But its rather vain that he would keep such an attachment to his former life, when most Space Marines divorce themselves from mortal affairs. It's not like he can pass it on to an heir. If it was an actual functional title with its own duties it just adds to the busywork he is no doubt neglecting by piling on his other roles.
*'''Knight Champion of Macragge''' is controversial. He gained the title some point prior to his promotion to Captain of the Fifth company, implying he was Chapter Champion but then kept it going after his promotion. For one, the whole point of having a chapter champion in the first place is so that your chapter's officers aren't risking their life in honour duels, so having an officer serve as champion is a bit self-defeating. Though it is worth noting that there was a separate Chapter Champion even after Cato took his promotion, potentially creating a duplication of roles and a deviation from the Codex. However, as Master of the [[Victrix Guard]] he is now officially the bodyguard and personal champion of his own Primarch so the title carries some level of legitimacy again, but it's not as if Guilliman really needs Cato to step in front of him when someone demands satisfaction.
*'''High Suzerain of Ultramar:''' is probably the most laughable. Because a Suzerain is the superior lord of a particular region, typically its monarch. The fact he is not merely the Suzerain but also the ''"High Suzerain"'' of Ultramar fully implies that Cato is the sovereign of the original eight systems ''(as it was when he was presented with the Eternium Ultra)''. While this might be a civilian title and would be acceptable if it stands beside his rank within the Chapter it gets even sillier when one considers that Captain Agemman of the 1st Company is merely the ''Regent of Ultramar'', which is a lower position in peerage and really shows that the codex writers were simply throwing titles at Cato Sicarius' fluff without thought for what they actually meant.

== Canon Conflict ==
He has something of a canon conflict, as [[Captain Titus]] is Captain of the Second Company in [[Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine]]. According to the developers, Space Marine takes place in an alternate [read: better] universe where Titus was promoted instead of Sicarius (although they probably still know each other as Sicarius will most likely still be the 5th Captain). Though Titus might have just as well been one of the previous Captains of the 2nd Company before Severus Agemman, or it takes place sometime in early M42 and Sicarius has died and been replaced with someone much more competent, given there's no set date for the events of Space Marine. Or it could be down to the fact Sicarius is now a member of the Victrix Guard and therefore has a subordinate running his company in his stead. Or most likely Relic just went with the default Ultramarine colors and didn't care about the company colors.

Another potential canon conflict, as of the Ultramarines Supplement 2019, it states that good ol' Cunto here is still trapped in the Warp since the Indomitus Crusade. Now this isn't much of a problem, but considering that the book also claims the most recent event occurring in Ultramar is the Plague Wars, it should be noted that as of Guy Halley's Dark Imperium books Cato is actually there talking to Frater Mathieu. During the Plague Wars!

== On the Tabletop ==
===In 7th Edition===

{{40k-Nonvehicle-Model-Profile|name=Cato Sicarius|points=195|ws=6|bs=5|s=4|t=4|w=3|i=5|a=3|ld=10|sv=2|inv=4|type=Infantry(Independent Character)|clear=yes)}}

Cato Sicarius is pretty much the vanilla space marine captain in the setting. While not a unholy god of rape in combat, he's hardly weak and stands a fair chance against most nameless IC's. He's just kinda... Meh. Rules wise he has the typical ultramarine's ATSKNF and Chapter tactics, plus he has FNP, Furious Charge, Independent Character, and Surprise Attack (grants +1 to reserve rolls while Cato is alive). He also has a unique rule called Battleforged Heroes that allows him to grant one tactical squad of your choosing one of the following rules: counter attack, tank hunter, infiltrate, or scout. His wargear includes an Iron Halo, artificer armor, frag and krak grenades, a plasma pistol, and the (surprisingly not master-crafted) relic blade Talassarian Tempest Blade which is Strength user AP3 with the Coup-de-grace special rule which allows him to trade all his melee attacks for a single mighty blow with +2 strength and instant death. Which is cool I guess. Be cooler if it was AP2.

Like I said, in game Cato Sicarius is pretty vanilla. He's a bit harder than most with a 4++ and FNP and he's pretty mean on the charge, but he's also a bit pricey. He has some nice tactical bonuses with his two special rules and his warlord trait, Rites of War, which allows friendly units in his army to use his Ld for any morale-based checks. He's a pretty good all-rounder whose abilities are focused on improving his men, despite his fluff making him out to be a glory hound and a legendary single-combatant.

===In 8th Edition===
Now at 100 points, he is much cheaper than before. He now has 5 wounds, 4 attacks and a 4+ invulnerable save. He gives friendly Ultramarines within 6" re-roll 1s to hit (much like any Captain) and also Ultramarine Tactical Squads within 6" always fight first in melee. Not a very useful ability since it does not affect himself and Tactical Squads do not really want to be in close combat. A Power Fist always striking first can be pretty dangerous though. His Tempest Blade now has AP -3 and D3 damage. On any wound roll of 6+ it deal D3 mortal wounds. This ability is going to be used a lot, since he still strikes at strength 4. However, with only 4 attacks, you will not be rolling 6s every time.

All in all, he is a nice complementary piece. He is not very expensive and also a cheap 2+ save model (almost equal to a vanilla Terminator Captain and with much better stats). Never make the mistake of overcharging his Plasma Pistol though. he has 1/36 chance to die instantly (will you risk it?).

== Possible Ancient Inspiration ==
In ancient Rome, [[Ordo Sicarius|''Sicarius'']] was the word for murderous street thugs, named after their sickle-like bent dagger, and the word carries on as ''sicario'', roughly meaning hired assassin in Portuguese, Italian and Spanish. IRL you'd be most likely to hear the term in the context of Latin American ''narcotraficantes''. In the Roman context, however, the dagger is intimately connected with thuggery and assassination as it is easily concealed under your tunic. You had better, for the [[Skub|law prohibited being armed]] in the city. Because of this, using a ''sica'' was considered having no honor, while gutting your political opponent with, lets say, a ''gladius'' was totally okay, especially if you challenge them to get down in the Colosseum with you, while the crowd goes [[Khorne|observant cornflakes]].

Incidentally, ''Sicarius'' <s>may or may not be</s> is probably the ultimate origin of the unusual cognomen of Jesus's unfaithful disciple, Judas I''scario''t (which would make it an English translation of a Latinatization of a Hellenization of an Aramaic rendering of a Greek word loaned from Latin via Greek again, just so we're all clear...) The meaning would have carried very clear and appropriate connotation of betrayal and cowardice to the readers of the Gospels, Hellenized Jews and early Gentile Christians.

One should wonder, what does all this say about our smurf guy here? Considering GW usually picking telling names when speaking Latin? And Cato's visual appearance so clearly being that of a Roman centurion? Those connections make sense, as there are two renowned Roman Republic [[High Lords of Terra|traditionalist senators]] (who also served as generals without any formal training) by the name of Cato, Cato the Elder and Cato the Younger， great-grandfather and great-grandson respectively, and they generally make the [[Grimdark|High Lords of Terra look like very nice people]], like all ancient Roman politicians we have record of, and were also considered by their people as morally upright and incorruptible since they refused bribes and followed traditional virtues, [[Tzeentch|because that's totally all the credibility you need to be a good person.]]

Thought to think upon: More than once in ancient Rome, either Cato the Elder or Cato the Younger was mostly likely referred to, at least once, as "Cato Sicarius". A more grievous insult than what was meant indeed.

Or maybe we're just [[Kairos Fateweaver|overthinking]] things, since GW has been known from time to time to give historically resonant names that sound cool but make [[Belial|no sense]] [[Baal|for their]] [[Azrael|owners]], after all, but that's usually a thing for legions that are named "Angels." So ''[[Tzeentch|maybe]]''. But given Cato's penchant for self-promotion and the weird vibes and post-''Gathering Storm'' dynamics building between him, his [[Uriel Ventris|brother smurfs]], [[Marneus Calgar|Papa Smurf]], and [[Roboute Guilliman|the returned Primarch]], there's some potential for some sicarius-swinging. But not too likely given the Ultramarines' image as the (relatively) good guys and poster boys of the Space Marines.

== Gallery ==
<gallery>
File:Sicarius1.jpg|His mini, more lovingly crafted than most other 40k armies (Dare we say master-crafted?). Also, that fucking smug grin.
File:True_Captain_Sicarius.jpg|The old Space Marine Captain mini from the 4th edition was actually labelled as the model for Captain Sicarius.
File:Ultramarine_captain_sicarius_Medusa_V_Campaign.jpg|Sicarius's previous mini. Back during his wolverine phase.
File:Ultramarine captain cato sicarius by diegogisbertllorens-d7cml6y.jpg|Say what you will about this smug glory-hog, but he's a cooler and more well-rounded character than all the other "[[Torias Telion|I'm]] [[Antaro Chronus|the]] [[Varro Tigurius|best]] because [[Sammael|I'm]] the best" characters.
File:Cat-O Sicarius.jpg|Cat-O Sicarius, the most glorious of all house pets. (For extra laughs, read all the lines using [https://youtu.be/bM8YGsAmeqE?t=2m12s this voice].)
File:The heroic chronicle of cat o sicarius 2 by theangrymarine.jpg|The continued adventures of Cat-O Sicarius (with guest appearance by [[Araghast the Pillager|Aragrowl]]).
File:Cato Sicarius and the Space Thot.jpg|Cato Sicarius knows how to deal with [[Tau]] women.
</gallery>

{{Marines-Characters}}

Stercus Ludicrum

2019-12-10T07:51:37Z

2600:1700:BF90:B950:A49E:9857:8C8B:4BBF:

[[File:Erminesisters.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Brigitte Returns]]
The concept: On a backwater shithole of a ice planet, a governor's son's desire to tinker with sleeping [[Necrons]] leads to everyone in the galaxy fighting everyone else over a planet with no strategic value for no reason. And it is AWESOME!

'''Stercus Ludicrum''' is Latin that translates roughly to "shit show" - and boy-howdy, that first human to see it and give it a name that would span thousands of years, he was right on the money. The locals call the world Cold Shoulder, likely because it's cold as a Necron's tit.

Speaking of the metal bastards, an enterprising Ordo Xenos Inquisitor found there were signs of a Necron tomb buried in the planet's ice crust. Like any watchful eagle, protecting the Imperium from threats inside and out, he pawned the job off to the planetary governor, and went to go bone the governor's slut of a daughter. The governor, likewise, passed the job to his son, who would pass it to his general, and so on, and so on. Eventually the PDF and a few incoming regiments of conscripts with no training were marched out to do battle for Emperor and Imperium against undying metal robots.

Things went about as well as could be [[FAIL|expected]].

Things continued going downhill from there. The surviving commissar called for back-up. He got yet another inquisitor, [[Sisters of Battle|bolter bitches]], and [[Blood Ravens|various]] [[Salamanders|space]] [[Minotaurs|marine]] [[Dark Angels|chapters]]. [[Eldar]] came to kill the Necrons and be stuck up bitches. The Imperial forces try to blame each other for the mess, and resolve to frame some aristocratic snobs with the excuse that they're Slaanesh cultists — which by total accident ends up being true. Meanwhile all the fighting drew [[Orks]] and [[Chaos]] reinforcements to the world. [[Tyranids]] came with all the food on display. [[Dark Eldar]] came to raid in all the commotion. Some poor [[Tau]] passed too close and got dragged in, as well.

And then things start to get really bad.

Give it a read.

==Characters==
This section includes any and all characters who are currently present in the game. (No it doesnt, where is Imperial Fist Sergeant Sammos?)

===Imperium===

=====Imperial Guard=====

*'''Original Commissar''' The original Commissar who started it all (always a Commissar). Is currently the closest thing that the local PDF on Cold Shoulder, has as a capable leader.

*'''Future Commissar''' The same guy as before, but from a far shittier future that occurs a year and a half after the war of Cold Shoulder originally started. We don't understand how he got here, or why he's still here, so stop fucking asking, and get back to work!

*'''Colonel James Arthur''' Praetorian Guard Colonel, was told by his higher ups to move as many conscripts as he had on hand to Stercus Ludicrum. Hasn't done much but walk around and wonder who is mad enough to have this many troops on one planet, also kinda thinks some of the sisters of battle hate him. Has a nice mustache though. Seems to always be in the wrong place at the right time

*'''Fessus''' There are some men who are meant to be leaders. Men with charisma and the ability to inspire people. Men with composure, able to remain level-headed in the face of adversity. Men with great cunning, able to achieve victory through well thought our strategies and tactical genius. Fessus is not one of these men. Fessus was one of the original newfag PDF soldiers of Stercus Ludicrum, who managed to somehow survive Stercus's first clusterfuck. When he and his squad were confronted with the prospect of total planetary annihilation, he had the brilliant idea to desert by offering him self and his squad to the Blood Raven's as "gifts" to secure them transport off world and better gear. Of course, this did not work out, and since then he and rest of the Gifted Guardsmen have continued to stay and been roped into fighting for various different factions. Despite calling himself a sergeant, Fessus never actually held an official leadership position in The Guard. He's not the bravest soul, whines like a bitch a lot, and has a dubious set of morals and ethics that he tends to work with through heavy rationalization. This, combined with his greed, and propensity for poorly thought out plans has a tendency to get him and his friends into trouble. However, despite his selfishness getting the better of him sometimes he does have his heart in the right place.

*'''Marcus''' One of the Gifted Guardsmen and Fessus's unofficial second in command and go to driver. He is also their "field mechanic". What he lacks in formal training and proper equipment, he makes up for with Duct-tape, and a creative approach to machinery. Given enough Duct-tape, time, and materials that could be hammered, cut, or slapped into something resembling the right parts, and he can get almost any vehicle up and running again, albeit temporarily and with a lot more smoke than it used to make. Unsurprisingly, this has gotten him and his friends in a lot of trouble with the Adeptus Mechanicus. In some ways, Marcus is rather similar to Fessus: he loves to complain when confronted with adversity, would rather avoid fights when he can, and shares his dubious code of ethics and aversion to honest work. However, unlike Fessus, he's calmer, more thoughtful, and more grounded about his decisions (although that only applies when Booze isn't involved) and Fessus's complaining is more of a put-upon whining about how life is unfair while Marcus's is more of an angry grumbling. Marcus also lack's Fessus's greed, spending his free time slacking off, relaxing, and drinking rather than scheming. While he does get on Fessus's case from time to time, he recognizes that his quick thinking and creative, if half-baked, plans have gotten them out of trouble on many occasions. That, and he just doesn't want to bother having to do his job, so he lets Fessus maintain his delusions of grandeur.

*'''Lloyd''' Lloyd is one of the Gifted Guardsmen and their explosives expert. This has less to do with any actual explosives expertise and more to do with the fact that he can throw as good as, or maybe be even better than, a guard issue grenade launcher. Having once been a pitcher for the Brook Hive Base-foot-basket-hockey-ball team (which is apparently a sport on Stercus Ludicrum) before joining the Guard, he's learned to apply his athletic skills to throwing grenades instead of throwing balls or pucks or whatever. He is also their fast-talker, and his quick tongue can bluff and blather them out of a bad situation, or at least buy time trying. Lloyd is the most impulsive and reckless of the Guardsmen, and has a propensity for making and taking bets no matter how stupid just because he can. While He'd rather go into a situation guns blazing than sit around talking strategy, he still has enough common sense to know to follow laid out plans. He appears not to the take things as seriously as his friends.

*'''Phillip''' Phillip is one of the Gifted Guardsmen and serves as their "face". Being the most charismatic and eloquent of them, he is the one of them best capable of representing his friends in a way that makes them appear to be more than retarded mooks. He is also a gifted speaker capable of inspiring and riling up the people around him, although not nearly to the sae degree as the Bishop is able to. He is the eldest of the Gifted Guardsmen, and the only one of them who might not have been an official Guardsman, having been hinted to have been one of the Bishop's crusaders, who merely found a PDF uniform and was roped into the Guard. Phillip is the most devout and "moral" of the group and has a distaste for criminality and heretical behavior as well as a (possibly undeserved) respect for Echlisiarchal institutions, which often has him acting as the group's collective conscience. Despite his calm personable demeanor is extremely, is shown to be contentious when it comes to theological arguments and extremely aggressive against those he perceives as enemies of the Emperor, possibly as holdover from his time as a "crusader". However, perhaps due to his time in the Guard, his zeal is tempered by a sense of practicality and rationality, as it is better to live to expel evil from the Imperium, than die a martyr and let it continue to exist. He also has artistic talent, and enjoys painting and poetry, the latter of which has helped his friendship with Sister Maria of the Black Sepulcher

*'''Decarus''' Decarus is the combat medic of the Gifted Guardsmen also the youngest of them. Decarus is the baby of the team. He is somewhat childish, being easily intimidated by authority figures and believing in monsters from children's tales. Despite being a Guardsman, he is incredibly innocent and naive, with a very simplistic view of morality. He is willing to thieve and kill as he's doing it to the "bad guys", which consists of Xenos, heretics, and some varieties of gangers. He is the most compassionate of the group, and while somewhat desensitized, still hates to see innocent people get hurt. He also has a crush on the Living Saint Brigitte, which she may be oblivious to.

*'''Commissar Flavia Julia Arodastra'''

=====Ecclesiarchy=====

*'''Ecclesiarchy Youngster Bishop''' A rather young bishop, elevated to his position due to him having an Aquila birthmark. During the first clusterfuck war, he united the civilians of the planet into a holy mob. Managed to convert the Governor's Whore of a Daughter away from Slaanesh worship and to that of the Emperor. Is now married to her.

*'''Governor's whore of a Daughter(call her Steph)''' The daughter of the recently deceased planetary Governor, and a former Slanneshi cultist like her mother. Went to "rehab" and got better (and by that, we mean she got married to the planetary bishop, and enjoyed the taste of his dick, and so got her act together). Is currently the the planetary Governess.

*'''Dietrich Wegstein''' A Inquistorial crusader that was left behind by his team, led by an Ordo Xenos Inquistor. While not lacking in knightly virtues, he stumbles from place to place due to his poor sense of direction.

*'''Lamos Derstrum''' A Preacher, who after looking at the clusterfuck that is cold shoulder, decided to do something about these problems himself. Proceeded to militatise his congregation, steal a whole lot of Imperial guard equipment, piss of the Mechanicus by committing tech Heresy and avoiding subsequent assassination attempts. Is currently slowly crusading around the planet, trying to help neglected settlements.

=====Sisters of Battle=====

*'''Canoness Konstanzia''' Canoness of the [[Order of the Ermine Mantle]], and "leader" of the local sisters of battle currently on planet. Has bionic eyes and a penchant for drinking far too fucking much expensive alcohol. We've tried talking to her about it, but it usually ends with a serious beating.

*'''Living Saint Brigitte''' Formerly Sister Brigitte of the Order of the Ermine Mantle, died and returned as a living saint. Is unbelievably humble and a little thick. Tends to die a lot. Currently in captivity of Dark Eldar.

*'''Sister Charlotte''' - Dominion serving Konstanzia. <s>Has</s> Had the swankiest Ermine cape in the squad. Like capes, weddings, impressing the Canoness and 'literally any guy above the rank of turd.'

*'''Sister Lydia''' Drives a repressor for the Canoness with her gunner, Sister Hanna. By virtue of her station, she is the designated driver for the squad. Naturally, she has learned to steel-face the Arbites like a true drunken master.

*'''Sister Terese''' - Seraphim serving Konstanzia. Totally did not give that BDSM-dar girl a beejay.

*'''Sister Olga''' A sister of battle with the Ermine Mantle. One of their heavy weapons specialist's armed with a heavy bolter. Her fellow sisters all say she eats too much, and think she's massively overweight. She only eats as much as she does because she burns more calories than the rest of her sisters, due to lugging around a 50 pound gun and its ammunition. Is currently in a relationship with a certain Primaris space marine.

*'''Sister Sarah''' A low ranking member of the Ermine Mantle, she is cursed with being extremely forgettable, to the point that she hadn't received actual orders in years. Dyed her hair the same color as the Canoness to try to get her attention. Was overjoyed when assigned to investigate gene stealers.

*'''Palatine Barbastella''' Local commander of the Black Sepulchre, a sororitas order known for its near suicidal reverence of death and gloomy aesthetic, a detachment of which was assigned to accompany the Ermine Mantle on the Tomis Crusade. Internally monologues in gothic prose, with a sense of humour so dry and morbid that it might as well be nonexistent. Would very much like to die and rest already, but the Emperor has yet to see fit to release her from her duties in life; thus, she continues to put up with the endless shitshow that is life on this planet.

*'''Palatine Sara''' Palatine of the Golden Light, self described avatar of The Emperor's fury. Really likes ancient terran "western" holo vids and powder based weaponry. Can kill exactly twelve heretics at once, before she needs to reload. She has a grudge against Drathor <s>for stabbing her at the wedding</s> '''{{Blam|She's the one who got in the bloody way.}}''' Has a cool hat.

*'''Sister Nyx''' Likes to go fast in her Black Sepulcher battle hearse. Gets a little exited sometimes

*'''Sister Maria''' Sister of the Order of the Black Sepulcher. Despite belonging to one of the most depressing orders on the planet, she still manages to be friendly and outgoing. After all, if life is but an Illusion, why not enjoy the show? Also enjoys poetry in her spare time.

*'''Sister 'Missy' Karmistha''' Ordo Famillus of the [[Order of the Ermine Mantle]]. Apparently it pretty hot. Political arm of Ermine Mantle.

*'''Sister Annmarie''' Sister of the Order of the Black Sepulcher. Sarcastic and cynical.

=====Space Marines=====

*'''Primaris Sergeant Jaren Artorius''' A Primaris space marine belonging to the Broken Shields chapter of space marines. His squad dropped into orbit with orders to take down a titan, but ended up getting swallowed by it and popped up in the Warp. After an intense journey with an insane version of Kaldor Draigo, he and his squad managed to escape and make their way back to Cold Shoulder before continuing to assist with planetary defense. It was during this time that he met and started a relationship with a member of the Ermine Mantle chapter of sisters of battle by the name of Olga.

*'''Captain Marek Avalon''' Captain of the Broken Sheilds Chapter on Stercus Ludicrum. Gave Jaren Artorius "The Talk."

*'''Captain Thorn''' Captain of the Imperial Fists Chapter on Stercus Ludicrum. Solid Dude. Lost the chapters gene seed stocks and relics in a bet over Jaren and Olga.

*'''Brother Jiro''' Wing commander of the elite Xiphon formation Zero Flight of the Solar Hawks chapter. Likes to go fast, but on a jet plane instead of a bike for some reason.

*'''Veteran Sergeant Dalmier'''

*'''Sergeant Romeo Ignatius''' Sergeant and highest Ranking member of the Salamanders Astartes legion remaining on Stercus. He was given a promotion just before being left on the planet by the rest of the Salamanders, which he believes was part of a plan to ditch him. He is either very handsome or very narcissistic, though probably both. despite this, he does his best to stick to the ideologies of his chapter and preserve human life as much as possible during the conflict on the planet.

=====Rogue Trader=====

*'''Rogue Trader Corazon III'''

=====Mechanicus=====

*'''Juris Magos Anthony Cosanostro'''

*'''Vusio aka "Static"'''

*'''Medusa'''

=====The Inquisition=====

*'''Inquisitor Elmas Frud'''

=====Adeptes Arbites=====

*'''Planetary Marchall Lawfist'''' -
*'''Judge Fredd'''' - Newest guy posted at the block.

=====Civilians=====

*'''Oswald "the última luz" Helldreks''' Renowned Blood Bowl player. Unimpressed by the new governess.

*'''Randle Cuthbert''' Taxi driver and recently, sailor

*'''Rick Promethium'''

===Xenos===

=====Dark Eldar=====

*'''Dracon Drazar''' A warrior of the Starless Night Kabal who can't seem to catch a break. Spends a lot of time running away from things. Is the love interest for a Succubus by the name Ann'Ette, however he is unaware of this and thinks she wants to kill him. Likes to loot bodies and has caches of weapons and armor all over the place. Slowly but surely rising through the ranks of his Kabal.

*'''Succubus Ann'Ette''' A Dark Eldar Succubus. Currently chasing her love interest, Sybarite Drazar across the planet. Thinks he is just playing games with her and can't possibly be so dense to think she's trying to kill him. Got her crush on Drazar after he (accidentally) saved her from a grenade by falling on it. Called in a favor with a Haemonculus to stitch him back together.

*'''Archon Dathram''' Commander of Dark Eldar forces on Stercus Ludicrum. Currently has custody of the Arch-Bishop and Sister Olga.

*'''Kent''' Dathram's trusted body guard. Ogryn or Half-Ogryn, and valued for his loyalty. Carries double splinter cannon dark lance. Often gives Dathram helpful advice.

*'''Kabalite Vex'''

=====Orks=====

*'''Kommando Gor'Muncha'''

*'''Warboss 'Ead-Krumpa''' An Ork Warboss with a Bionic Arm named Leftie. Likes krumping Tyranids because their heads are the biggest.

*'''Weird-Dok Gutpoker''' 'Ead-Krumpa's crew. This absolute mad-ork replaced his gut with a Squig. Keen to try new cuisine, usually ex-enemies that were also ex-living.

*'''Big Mek Krom-Dom''' 'Ead-Krumpa's crew. Big Mek that replaced the top of his head with a metal dome.

*'''Flash Nob Fiddy Teef''' 'Ead-Krumpa's crew. A fine example of Bad Moonz Ork. Really do have fifty teeth of his own, not counting the ones he took as trophies.

*'''Grotmando Dakkafilcha''' 'Ead-Krumpa's crew. Actually several grots painted purple. Their main job is to pilfer enemy guns, it seems.

=====Eldar=====

*'''Hast'El'Vishkaya''' On the planet to recover the souls stones of the dead eldar, very stuck up (like all eldar) and full of himself. Also likes spouting Elvis puns.

*'''Prys'Ellia''' El'Vish's companion, and wraithlord. Died on the planet some time ago and came back for round 2.

*'''Kaviala Kade''' A Farseer who has come to Stercus Ludicrum to blow up the Necron Tomb Complex

=====Tyranids=====

*'''Genestealer Patriarch 'Scar'''' A genestealer who began the construction of a cult after all the battles settled down. It got big impossibly fast, due to warp fuckery likely the same as created Future Commissar. Slain in battle, and currently enshrined within the Cathedral of The Four Armed Emperor.

*'''Sister Cecilia''' A former Sister of Battle, she was infected by the genestealer patriarch, and got REALLY into worshipping the Four Armed Emperor. She now leads the genestealer cult ground forces. Peacefully submitted to execution by Sister Barbastella.

*'''Norn Queen Becky''' - The insidious Norn Queen burrowed beneath the planet, plotting her revenge on everyone else. Has some sort of a bizarre vendetta against the Order of the Ermine Mantle.

=====Necrons=====

*'''Menkaukht''' or steve, thinks he's a human

=====Tau=====

*'''Shas'Vre Tash'var Dorax''' A Farsight enclaves soldier who came to the planet originally as a reconnaissance mission but then buddied up with a Tsons sorcerer and then broke off to continue a new mission of killing as many T'au of the Sept worlds as he could, especially after he found out they were corrupted by Slaanesh. His suit was possessed by a daemon which has begun to teach him the art of melee and stole a sword from the Grey Knights.

*'''Fio'Vre Mal'Caor'''

*'''Aun'Dik''' Formerly an Ethereal with a penchant for fine ass bitches, Aun'Dik's hedonistic desires were twisted into devotion to Slaanesh. After falling to Chaos, Aun'Dik proceeded to corrupt nearly every Tau under his command to Slaanesh. For his efforts, Aun'Dik was transformed into a daemon prince. He celebrated by raining Slaanesh tainted beer upon Angel's Landing, followed by crashing his ship onto the other side of the planet, where Shas'Vre Tash'var Dorax hunted him down and killed him. Aun'Dik is currently waiting in the warp for the time he can return to the material plane.

===Chaos===

=====Traitor Marines=====

*'''Hakron Geras''' Alpha Legion Operator-Master and current second in command to the Harrow-Master of Cell ΨO

*'''Headhunter Killteam λ ''' The Alpha Legion Headhunters of Cell ΨO, lead by the Headhunter Prime Tylax. Captured the genestealer known as 'Scar'.

*'''Nerus''' Alpha Legion Apothecary of Cell ΨO. Got bored and let genestealer known as 'Scar' escape.

*'''Mefros''' Alpha Legion Infiltraitor of Cell ΨO

*'''Various unimportant squads of Legionnaires'''

*'''Xerxes of the Thousand Sons''' A Sorcerer from the Thousand Sons, he has bird head in addition to his normal one. He hates the bird head. Cursed Shas'Vre Tash'var Dorax's battlesuit with Ar-Pharazon. Cursed his rubric with a hat.

*'''Tar Gwill''' Last legionnaire of the Night Lords 83rd company. Working for the Alpha Legion, but doesn't like it too much.

=====The Lost and The Damned=====

*'''Drathor'''

*'''Medeth Absinthium'''

*'''Julius''' A native psyker who is being guided by the lord of change Tnez'ahman'Dor. Through experimentation and occasional coaching, he periodically develops new mutations and warp powers, including but not limited to; spontaneous mutation, an extra pinkie, invisibility, toxin resistant lungs, the ability to turn his flesh to metal, and a sapient snake-leg named trouser snake. he is naive and optimistic, so much so that he did not realize he was creating a change cult until he was explicitly told by his followers. his optimism causes his to view most things in a positive light, such as seeing his random mutations as upgrades to their recipients. the one exception to this is his view of the Sisters of battle, who were responsible for burning his friend Walter to death during the initial conflict on Stercus.

*'''Brick''' a [[tzaangor]] who carries around bricks. He is an idiot, but also a shrewd investor. Founder and CEO of Brick Corp.

=====The Neverborn=====

*'''Tnez'ahman'Dor''' A lord of change who has a long running plans that involve Stercus. these plans heavily feature the psyker Julius, who refers to Tnez'ahman'Dor as Walter, much to the lord of change's ire.

*'''Ar-Pharazon''' Bloodthirster of Khorne who one day was bored and wanted something to do, so he went through the warp to find the Tau fire warrior Shas'vre Tashvar Dorax and has been teaching him and his men the art of melee and it's importance, during the battle with Aun'dik he possessed and took control fully the suit of the Shas'vre when he was being seduced by the Ethereal and brutally murdered him, also turned the Shas'vre red, literally.

==Gallery==
<Gallery>
File:The Gut.jpg|The Gut smiling for the camera
File:Fine.jpg|Governess being positive
File:Sara.png|
File:Sister_Sarah.jpg|Sarah wishes that everyone would stop mixing her up with Sara
File:XerxesSwearing.png|Look at this side character, being unimportant
File:Charasmatic_AF.jpg|Brick Corp is the rising star in the corporate world
File:MantleSisters.jpg|
File:My own Tau Empire.jpg|And you think, your Ethereal is a asshole
File:Visit Stercus Ludicrum!.PNG|The Governess surely knows how to advertise
File:Crashers Forever.jpg|Even in the grim darkness of the far future there are BFFs
File:Khornate Drathor cleaned.png|Drathor being a badass
</gallery>

==Threads==

Thread 1: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/58335731/

Thread 2: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/58415703/

Thread 3: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/58537811/

Thread 4: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/58639533/

Thread 5: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/58772704/

Thread 6: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/58940370/

== Videos ==
Video 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qe9sYin-xc

Video 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrwM32g9Jb4

Video 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPx681taT20

Video 4: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvD5q77BTbg

Video 5: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbDHaARIsrA

Video 6: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UkzmhaA11I

Video 7: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pukk1uIcSRg

Video 8: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oaju9Zj7xTw

Video 9: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsbZo2M1Aus

Video 10: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTxL4ZmGYKM

Exterminatus

2019-12-10T07:31:25Z

2600:1700:BF90:B950:A49E:9857:8C8B:4BBF: /* Exterminatus in other settings */

{{Topquote|[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massacre_at_Béziers#%22Kill_them_all,_God_will_know_His_own%22 Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius.]|[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arnaud_Amalric Arnoldus Amalricus], [[Inquisitor]] and [[Chaplain|Cistercian Abbot]], 209M.2}}
{{Topquote|I say we take off and [[Exterminatus#Just_Shoot_the_Shit_Out_of_It_.28Orbital_Bombardment.29|nuke the entire site from orbit]]. It's the only way to be sure.|[[Sisters of Battle|Ellen Ripley]] in ''Aliens'' (986.M2)}}
[[TTS|{{Topquote|Y'know what, they're just running around shooting each other down there, better just lay the Exterminatus upon these heretics, alright, FIRE!]]|[[Inquisitor]] [[TTS#The Inquisition|Headsmash]], ca. 990M.41}}
[[Image:Exterminatus Retribution.jpg|right|450px|"[[TTS|...FUCKING HERETICS!"]]|thumb]]
'''Exterminatus''' is the biggest middle finger the [[Imperium of Man|Imperium]] can give to [[xenos]] and [[Chaos]] infestations on their own planets. It basically involves UTTERLY DESTROYING THE PLANET SURFACE via heavy orbital bombardment if they decide that it would be impossible to retake the planet by drowning their enemies in corpses, like they usually do.

And, of course, there is no kill like overkill.

Before you go into some sort of sanctimonious tirade about the morality of blowing the fuck out of an entire planet, understand the context. A world deemed worthy of Exterminatus is one considered past the point where anything can be salvaged from it - whether because it's about to be lost to [[Tyranids|countless ravening giant insects that will zerg-rush and eat fucking everything]] or [[Ork|reality-warping sadomasochistic fungi that reproduce into millions of spores every time one <s>dies</s> '''Breathes''' and will all kill you because they think it's fun]]...[[Looted|and then steal all of your shit because it looks shinny, hurty or fast.]] or because it will be turned into a fucking [[Chaos|daemon-and-tentacle-rape-infested shit-pit where neither sanity nor time has any meaning]]. The alternative is fucking glassing a planet and trying to deny it to the enemy or ensure SOMETHING can be saved. It's the last-ditch measure and it's there because the alternative sucks even worse. It is the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scorched_earth Scorched Earth] strategy on a planetary scale: if you can't have it, burn it.

...[[grimdark|Then again, there's nothing stopping an Inquisitor from ordering it just because he wants one for his birthday]]. Oversight on Exterminatus orders is fairly nonexistent and it's easy to see why. The problem is the same one real life atomic weapons have, who do you want to have to be able to launch them? You want the most powerful, highly ranked people to have that authority, but if they're so highly ranked and with so much power, who watches them? Who second guesses an Inquisitor's judgement about if a world is to be blown up or not? Nobody. [[Kryptman|The Imperium's only solution is to just declare the trigger happy sod Excommunicate Traitoris afterwards if they don't agree]]. The [[Just as Planned|over the top villainy of Warhammer 40k]] means that some fuckholes within the Imperium do get trigger happy with this, ordering an Exterminatus on worlds over things like a few of its people coming into contact with alien technology, or a small hint of [[heresy]] that would probably not require killing everything, or a loose pubic hair being in the Imperial's cereal this morning.

On the bright side these instances are few and far between, destroying an uncorrupted planet is seen as a gross waste of Imperial Resources, and anybody caught doing so will quickly be forced to explain the [[Heresy|legitimate reasoning]] behind it by the full might of the [[Administratum]]... who will then proceed to hand out a light slap on the wrist, letting the offender get off scot-free [[Salamanders|unless they meet a giant, angry black dude in green]] (or Ordo Excorium). What, you're surprised that an Empire of "Space Nazis 2.0" can have actual legitimate excuses, common sense, reasoning and sensibility? You're in for a whole new series of surprises...

[[Deal with it]]. Bitching any further will rile the [[Commissar|Commissariat]]. You have been warned.

Joking aside, it's somewhat fluff dependent; in Seventh Retribution by Ben Counter, for instance, Exterminatus is never even mentioned as a 'solution' despite the fact that the planet got halfway to being a Daemon World (although part of this was because the [[Officio Assassinorum]] couldn't be 100% sure that even Exterminatus would do the trick). Also in both the ''Space Wolves Omnibus'' and in the Ultramarines ''Nightbringer'' books, we get Inquisitors saying they have been at it for well over a century without calling down the Exterminatus even once. Even in Retribution, Lord General Castor admits that the world was lost anyway.

==Methods of Exterminatus==
The Imperium has several means for dealing with hopeless infestations:

===Just Shoot the Shit Out of It (Orbital Bombardment)===
Saturating planets with over-sized cannons larger than apartment buildings is the stereotypical way of nuking the fuck out of something you don't like. Nuclear warheads, Space Marine Battle Barge bombardment batteries, Nova cannons, and/or banks of Lances are often used. Examples of this include the [[Dark Angels]] destroying their homeworld, Caliban, <s>after it was lost to heretics within their chapter</s> {{BLAM|AFTER SOMEONE THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO HUNT FOR DINNER FOR OUR TOTALLY NON-HERETICAL AND OBVIOUSLY LOYAL BROTHERS USING THE ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT CANNONS}} and the [[Night Lords]]' purge of Nostramo. If we take the purging of Typhon from dawn of war II as canon, this method can also be used during the opening stages of the Exterminatus before you unleash one of the Inquisition's more thorough toys upon it.

===Virus Bombs===
Virus Bombs are warheads loaded with the Life Eater virus, a biological payload that causes living tissue (plant or animal) to rot and decompose (which probably gives Nurgle a massive boner). The gist is that they release a virus that spreads by contact and causes necrosis of tissues and rapid decay of plant and animal tissues. This immediate rot causes a buildup of flammable gases, which in turn can be ignited by one of the lazors above (or any still smoldering Lho sticks, or any other source of flame), sweeping the area in firestorms. A relentless bombing of these fucking things is what reduced [[Tallarn]] from a verdant forest world to the desert hellhole it is now. They were also used by [[Horus|Warmaster Horus]] to kill off loyalists in the Traitor Legions during the Istvaan Campaign of the [[Horus Heresy]] (Life Eater virus eats through any filters and corrodes power armour till it gets to the gooey marine inside, though a Dreadnought can endure it easily). According to [[Amberley Vail]], however, virus bombings are rare because the Inquisition has figured out that they feed the fucking [[Nurgle|Plaguefather]] every time they're used. Whoops. (They were falling out of favor even before that, since as demonstrated on [[Armageddon]] one virus bomb usually isn't enough to kill the whole planet and you might need to hit the planet several times all around)

===Atmospheric Incinerator Torpedo===
Atmospheric Incinerator Torpedoes are [[plasma]] torpedoes that burst in low planetary orbit and super-heat the atmosphere of a planet until all combustible material ignites. This method of Exterminatus was used on Medusa IV. Pretty much like the Virus Bomb, except it skips right to the firestorm part and directly turns the planet's surface into an endless expanse of raging hellfire. It is said that the aftermath of the planet's surface (Medusa IV's case) was melted to glass and that the entire world burned like a piece of amber in space even a month after the attack had been launched. They are only effective on planets with relatively stable atmospheres made of flammable gas, however, and plasma torpedos are both somewhat rare and expensive.

===Modalis Atmospheric Missile===
Another weapon that has similar results from the Atmospheric Incinerator Torpedo but its function is completely different. Regarded as the most powerful incendiary device accessible in the Imperium. The Modalis Atmospheric Missile is one ECKS BAWKS HUEG Phosphex weapons used to burn a planet into a crisp. Think White Phosphorous on steroids. A salvo of several Modalis Atmospheric Missiles from orbiting warships will blanket an entire world in deadly Phosphex. The resultant firestorm of green mist will eat away at every carbon-based element on the planet, rendering it uninhabitable. All that would be left would be dust and echoes.

===Cyclonic Torpedoes===
The primary method of Exterminatus used in the 41st millennium, these are basically the analog equivalent of the Death Star's main gun. These capital ship-fired warheads each generate a series of massive, self-sustaining nuclear reactions, which, when fired in bulk, fuels a much larger reaction that causes the devastation to spread and multiply, eventually glassing the entire world with a thermonuclear holocaust given a sufficient barrage. If you fire enough in the same spot it will break through the crust of a planet, causing part of the mantle to erupt out and royally buttfucking the entire planet in the process ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYXj9xOUFIM see the ''Fire Warrior'' end cinematic]). [[Krieg]] is an example of a radioactive perpetual-winter world that survived multiple cyclonic torpedo strikes, though in this case it was on a much smaller scale and in some sources are described as standard nukes. This was the method that probably killed Typhon, in combination with the above shoot-the-shit-out-of-it method. (Another theory holds that the bombardment is used to remove anything that might prevent the torpedo from reaching the surface or to weaken planets crust.) Only the [[Inquisition]] and the [[Space Marines]] are authorized to carry cyclonic torpedoes in their warships, the former because the Inquisition has the authority to do anything, and the latter because the Imperium figures that if the Space Marines can't beat it, nothing else will.

Cyclonic Torpedoes are pretty variable in their strength, either due to there being different classes of torpedoes or the fact that the strength of a single cyclonic torpedo has never been nailed down in official materials. In one case, ol' Abby dropped a dozen to fry a single hive, in another a single torpedo is a qualified planet cracker. Similarly, this method is the easiest to thwart with shields, as they disrupt the stacked efficiency needed for ongoing detonation. Presumably this variability in strength is due to "Cyclonic Torpedo" being as broad a description as "atomic bomb", which can refer to both a Davy Crockett and a Tsar Bomba.

===Two-Stage Cyclonic Torpedoes===
In the two-stage torpedo, a [[melta]] charge activates first to allow the weapon to burrow into the planet's crust and down to the core. The second stage thermonuclear charge then goes off, causing the planet to break apart Death Star style. This is really the only way to deal with Necron Tomb Worlds since, due to their tendency to make everything subterranean, they aren't overly bothered by the other methods which devastate the surface but leave the planet as a whole mostly intact. Talos of the Night Lords used a smaller version of these when a Genesis Chapter strike cruiser tried to hide behind a moon. So he [[Awesome|blew a continent-sized hole through the moon]], and watched the loyalist ship get torn apart as a new asteroid field got shotgunned into space.

===Smashing It with a Fucking Moon===
This method involves radically altering the orbit of a nearby moon or large asteroid and placing it on a collision course with the planet, and therefore requires the use of several Mechanicus voidships. This method was used to destroy Phaenon Prime when the Virus Bomb failed to wipe out the planet's corruptive influence. It was also used during the [[Horus Heresy]] by renegade Iron Hands commander Autek Mor to destroy the World Eaters recruitment world of Bodt and during the Badab War to finally smash through [[Huron Blackheart]]'s defensive Ring of Steel around Badab. Needless to say, this pretty much fucking annihilates the planet in question (or whatever else it's thrown at like Huron's defensive systems). Despite its flair and effectiveness, [http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Rocks_Are_Not_Free! the Administratum vehemently requests that Imperial commanders avoid this method whenever possible] because it's stupidly expensive -- it can take weeks or even months for the moon or asteroid in question to actually strike the planet, which costs rations and sublight fuel while the ships sit around doing fuck-all, while orbital bombardments only cost one day's worth of rations and fuel, plus ammunition.

===Release the Krourk===
Krourk [[Ogryn]] are known as the most brutal, powerful, and primitive tribe of Ogryn in the Imperium (and that's saying something). They are so well-known for their frightening savagery in close combat that they're considered a solid match for Orks, and are also known for being so primitively stupid that the Imperial Guard can't even teach them to use traditional Ogryn weapons like ripper guns. Their reputation is so fearsome that it has gotten to the point where deploying thousands of these things is considered a crude method of Exterminatus amongst Imperial commanders since they can't be taught to discriminate between friend and foe.

===Send it to <s>Hell</s> The Warp===
Sending your problems somewhere else is a rather simple solution to most problems. Doing so with an entire planet is possible (though difficult). As a result various factions of simply thought if we send a planet into the warp it’s no longer in the materium. therefore it’s not our problem. There are many problems with this, but that has not stopped some particularly idiotic individuals from doing it anyway. The reason it is listed here (and not in the non-imperium section) is because the imperium believes that this is actually a valid method to Dispose of a tyranids...and '''only''' tyranids. (anything else would be ether [[ork|redundant]], or basically what they wanted in the first place, so stupid). The warp is mostly foreign to the tyranids as a result it is one of the few things that they cannot truly combat, not to mention the fact that [[Khorne]] hates them. Kill two birds with one stone. The shadow in the warp however makes it difficult so it has not been tested yet.

==Non-Imperium Exterminatus==
Several factions outside the Imperium do things similar to the Imperial Exterminatus (adding any examples from the lore would be greatly appreciated). However, most of them don't use these methods often. Some examples:

===Craftworld Eldar===
The [[Eldar|Craftworld Eldar]] have some respect for life (and not nearly as many weapons of mass destruction as they had before the [[Fall of the Eldar|Fall]]) so they don't do it often. Didn't stop them from purging all life in the Octarius system to clean up [[Kryptman|Kryptman's]] mess, though (in that case the Dark Eldar provided the WMD). The most well-known Eldar engines of planetary destruction are called [[Blackstone Fortress|Blackstone Fortresses]], which are ancient weapons they designed to fight the [[C'tan]]. To put it simply, think of a floating citadel with a distort weapon (like the ones the [[Wraithguard]] have) the size of an Emperor-class battleship. During the Gothic Wars, three Blackstone Fortresses combined their power to cause a star to go supernova, destroying an entire solar system.

In Apocalypse War Zone: Valedor, the Craftworld Eldar from [[Iyanden]] procured another type of ancient WMD, the Fireheart: a complex nodal resonator capable of causing a planet's molten core to enter violent death throes and send lakes of lava to the surface (or just explode two-stage torpedo style, the tie-in novel plays the fireworks up to a big degree). The [[Dark Eldar]] originally had this, but they gave it away because they didn't have the psychic power to activate the weapon. The Fireheart was used successfully on Valedor and prevented Hive Fleets [[Hive Fleet Kraken|Kraken]] and [[Hive Fleet Behemoth|Behemoth]] from joining forces. If they had, the [[Tyranids]] would have had all of the genetic data of the Orks and the Eldar, enabling them to fashion unthinkable monstrosities.

Before the fall (and possibly still kicking around somewhere) they had devices that fired entire suns or black holes at their enemies.

===Dark Eldar===
The [[Dark Eldar]] as a whole lack a good stockpile of planet-killing weaponry and prefer to keep planets intact for slaves, although they are still capable of exterminating the populace of entire planets if they wanted to. One method is pillaging the shit out of it. It has been proven time and time again that an entire major kabal or dozens of separate, smaller kabals, is more than capable of kidnapping an entire planet of its populace, faster than that local PDF trooper can finish his scream of agony. Granted, being taken captive isn't part of an exterminatus' MO, but if you know the fate of a hapless mortal in Commoragh; [[Fist of the North Star|they are already dead]] (at best).

There has also been one instance of an entire Hive World being poisoned by the Dark Eldar, smashing a Space Hulk at a realm and havings its warp drives detonate to release hordes of daemons, and there's also counting the DE's ability to steal entire suns; allowing them to turn entire habitable planets into ice worlds if need be. Like the Craftworld Eldar, they also possess a psychic doomsday device called The Fireheart to implode a planet's core. However, the Kabal of the Dying Sun actually does have a stockpile of WMDs - some of which are powerful enough to destroy stars - and Vect keeps black holes in his back pocket to control people. The former is kept in check by several things; they don't know how all of them work, many are psychically activated - psychic powers being forbidden in Commorragh on direct orders from Vect, if other Kabals found out about this stockpile they'd gang up on them and it's usually more lucrative for them to conduct raids. For the latter, portable black holes are a special occasion weapon.

The Dark Eldar can also just have other races kill planets for them. [[Just as Planned|Through manipulation from the sides; they could convince (and managed to do so at one point) the Imperium to declare Exterminatus on a planet.]]

===Necrons===
The [[Necrons]] have lost many WMDs, but may have several more just waiting to be awakened. ([[Not as Planned|Maybe the Necrons are more trigger-happy with Exterminatus than the Imperium, but they're better at ensuring there're no witnesses]]). One of their most notorious Exterminatus-tier machines was the [[The World Engine|World Engine]], which was a planet-sized vessel equipped with the largest [[Gauss|gauss weapon]] known to man. It looked like the combination of a Death Star, Unicron and a Forerunner Shield-World all rolled into one. A [[Rape|flying rape-machine of ungodly proportions]], it took a coalition of several Space Marine chapters and the entire Imperial fleet of the Vidar Subsector to destroy it. For some reason, it had shields that could withstand the [[Awesome|bombardment of an ''entire navy'',]] yet it was [[What|vulnerable]] to a ship [[Meme|impacting at sufficient velocity.]] (Although it is likely that the shields weren't designed to deflect speeding projectiles the size of a city, moving at them at top-speed.)

The Maynarkh dynasty deploys a peculiar device that causes supercharged solar flares that incinerate the daylight-facing sides of ALL planets in a system. Unfortunately for the population on the side of the planet facing away from the sun, incinerating half a planet's surface would also incinerate its atmosphere, stripping the whole planet bare of its life giving biosphere, or whatever gases it had trapped. Even more unfortunately, Maynarkh Necrons are even more interested in making a planetfall and skinning them alive.

Maybe under certain circumstances, if the Necrons wanted to destroy a world, they could just unleash a particularly powerful Transcendent C'tan shard on it without a Tesseract Vault. Though it would most likely escape and be nearly impossible to return to Necron control, it would achieve the same effects. Also, the Tombworld of Thanatos has a giant hologram map of the galaxy known as the Celestial Orrery, and if [[Derp|you were to destroy a star on it, the real life counterpart would go supernova]]. While this makes the Necrons seem like [[Matt Ward|the most powerful faction in the entire galaxy by far]] who could [[Bullshit|instantly kill everyone else in the galaxy without any risk]], the lore also states that a star detonated this way could set off a catastrophic and unpredictable chain-reaction of dying stars which in turn could destroy the whole galaxy. It could also destroy the Necrons of Thanatos, which would destroy the Celestial Orrery and guarantee the death of the entire galaxy, something even the Necrons are not willing to risk.

The Necrons can also employ an [[Abattoir]] when directly terraforming a planet. They are large, [[monolith]]-like devices except that they physically carry what they're transporting, are the size of a small city, and are covered in tentacles that disintegrate organic material while harvesting its anguish. Also, given that their standard guns can disintegrate adamantium, and they don't mind waiting a few million years to achieve their goals, an enterprising (or bored) Lord could just order his legions to start shooting rocks, making for a thorough but hilariously slow exterminatus.

===Tyranids===
No, [[Tyranids]], you are the exterminatus.

A Tyranid fleet's primary objective is to devour entire planets and systems for biomass. After they're done, the world they invaded is left a lifeless rock, utterly devoid of life.

The Tyranids also travel through sublight via gravity manipulations, and these can rip apart asteroids, voidships, space stations and small moons entirely and cause a massive series of earthquakes on anything bigger before the 'nids make planetfall.

In one special case however. It is proven that even Tyranids can accidentally cause an Exterminatus that doesn't involved being devoured. In the Doom of Hesp where an escalating Chemical/Biological war between the Death Guard and the Tyranids using Venomthropes and Toxicrenes led to the planet being so toxic that the biomass on the planet was inedible and the bioship got destroyed out of fear by fellow hiveships when it tried to devour the biomass to replenish itself.

===Orks===
In theory, the [[Ork]]s could develop an Exterminatus-size weapon (as much by accident and luck as by design); they grab an asteroid, put engines and weapons and armor on it, fill it with Orks, and then ram it full speed into a planet. It wouldn't matter if it turned out to function as a giant transport or just a suicide missile; it generates tremendous amounts of [[lulz]] and serves its purpose of making a big boom, which is all the Orks are concerned with. This haphazard design and construction process would limit the amount of these contraptions the Orks could build (if any). In general, however, Orks want to avoid wiping out everything on the planet from orbit, as it would leave them with nothing to fight on the ground. Although a Big Mek in need of roks once smashed a moon into a planet and took his pick from the best bits.

Ork Roks. Big hollowed asteroids they slam into planets as one way reentry vessels. Used during the Third War for Armageddon.

===Tau Empire===
While the [[Tau]] almost certainly have the technological capability to destroy entire planets (if the fucking Orks can figure it out without having to build back up to Krork, then the Tau probably at least gave it some thought), there are a number of philosophical, political, and strategic reasons that they would avoid doing this in all but the most extreme circumstances. For one, the Tau Empire is in the process of expanding, and it isn't exactly conducive to your expansion efforts to blow up perfectly colonizable worlds; thus the Tau would likely see Imperial Exterminatus orders as an egregious waste of resources. Also, the Tau are arguably [[Grimdark|the only race in the 40k universe]] who operate by something parodying a moral compass that is beyond survive at any cost, so the idea of obliterating a planet and its inhabitants is likely appalling to their [[Noblebright|naive wittle sensibilities]].

On the other hand, the Tau have officially declared some races (Orks, Tyranids, Dark Eldar, and Necrons) "lost causes" to be destroyed wherever encountered, so one could plausibly imagine a situation hopeless enough that they would sacrifice a planet to be rid of them. Still, they would probably try to at least leave the world itself salvageable and only exterminate the infesting species. This might not be a concern on a lifeless rock that happened to be a Necron tomb world, however. There are stories of populations being sterilized or generally dispatched, which is about as mean as the Tau get; one such case was the Poctroon, who were the first sapient species they ever encountered. Their planet was ripe for colonization, and when the Tau arrived, the Poctroon all died of a 'mysterious' contagion, though the Tau obviously have admitted no diabolical fuckery.

As their expansion accelerated deeper into Imperial space, the Tau started to deploy more and more experimental technologies to both battlefields and production lines, some of which weren't properly tested. As a result, quite a few moons, planets and even stars have been accidentally destroyed by various mishaps. While such destruction sometimes happened to be advantageous to Tau forces (for example, by shattering Imperial defenses with massive tidal waves and earthquakes after the destruction of a planet's moon), they have shown no attempts to weaponize it.

The Tau also have orbital high-yield nuclear warhead options, but they generally use them to generate EMP pulses to blackout a wide area. They can also use these warheads to scatter toxic radiation over an area instead, though, burning through flesh and killing those below.

The Tau are also one of the few factions in 40k who still possess functioning terraforming technology (the Eldar lost theirs during the [[Fall of the Eldar|Fall]], Tyranid "terraforming" is more just them going about eating everything, and Necron terraforming is an Exterminatus on its own), so they can restore exterminated planets to habitability again, provided they haven't been utterly destroyed Deathstar-style. So yes, [[Meme| in the Tau Empire, Exterminatus get purged by YOU!]]

One of the notable examples would be [[Commander Or'es'Ka]] from [[Dawn of War|Dawn of War Soulstorm]], where he had this huge ass gun called "Ar'Ka Cannon" installed on the moon of Kaurava system. The cannon can fire anywhere in the Kaurava system (including the moon where the cannon is), obliterate his enemies before he moves in. The said [[ork|BIGGIZT GUNZ]] is also the most Eco-friendly WMD ever built in the grimdark future, as it is capable of damaging only advanced life forms while incapable of harming plants and buildings.

===Forces of Chaos===
Being former servants of the Imperium, fleets of [[Chaos Space Marines]] often still possess the good old Imperial Exterminatus weapons, like virus bombs for the old legions, cyclonic torpedoes for more recently turned traitors, or Just Shoot The Shit Out Of It for any warband with ships in their fleet big enough to carry the guns. Occasionally they will [[Looted|pillage]] Imperial Exteminatus weapons, or else invent some of their own with technology, sorcery, daemonic shit or some combination of the three. [[Honsou|Some]] Chaos guys tend to be quite inventive in finding ways to kill planets.

During one of his Black Crusades, [[Abaddon]] managed to steal or destroy all of the Blackstone Fortresses that the Imperium had in their possession. Naturally, they work just as well for Chaos as they did for the Eldar (and far better than they ever did for the Imperium). He also commissioned an incredibly huge destroyer of a spaceship, the front half of which is basically a battery of miles-long energy cannons. This "Armageddon Gun" can split a planet in half with one shot.

Then there is World Eaters, who live up to their name when they are united. 50,000 of these motherfuckers slaughtered 70 Sectors in Angron's Dominion of Fire campaign. [[Derp| Then all the planets they conquered were retaken. It seems like they forgot to salt the earth.]] To be fair though, Imperium needed four Chapters, two Titan Legions and more than thirty Guard Regiments (''However, WAAAGH Skargor took on fifty Guard regiments and SIX space murheen chapters. Perhaps World Eaters lack the power of [[dakka]].''). Back in Great Crusade, these butchers manually killed everything on the planets they went to conquer. Most of the time, it took them one day. This gave birth to another problem: There were no subjects on these planets to rule over. So the Emprah had to sent fleets to colonize planets left over by World Eaters, which was a pain in the arse for him.

Uniquely amongst 40k factions, the armies of Chaos can make planets Exterminatus-proof by turning them into [[Daemon World|Daemon Worlds]], where the laws of physics are fucked up so hard by the power of the [[Warp]] that all weapons just cease to function on and around it, or even achieve the opposite effect by nourishing the daemon patron of the world and making him even stronger (don't even think about virus bombing a [[Nurgle]] Daemon World). Though admittedly, from literally any point of view besides that of Chaos, Exterminatus is a preferable option to Daemon World transformation, as it would just kill you, rather than damning you to the eternity of torment.

Of course, there's also the act of summoning [[Aetaos'Rau'Keres]]. Keres will turn any planet he's summoned on into a lifeless husk. He doesn't care what side you are on or even if you're the cult that summoned him; he will murder ''everyone'' unlucky enough to be on the planet he's currently on. Such is his methods that he's the closest thing the Chaos Daemons have to a true planetary exterminatus.

==Exterminatus in other settings==
===Star Trek===
In [[Star Trek]] the Federation's General Order 24 calls for the extermination of all life on a planet. It is threatened multiple times, but never seen on screen. One novel and (very weird) comic do show it, however.

Just the original Enterprise on its own is supposed to be able to accomplish this task. While this would take time, the fact that it's theoretically possible without specific configuration indicates Federation ships are quite a bit more powerful than the Federation's peaceful goals suggests.

More famously, ''Star Trek II: the Wrath of Khan'' introduces the Genesis Device. When used properly it's a planet-seeding device that can instigate the formation of life on dead world's. In practice the massive amount of energy released means it also functions as a planet-glassing bomb, killing everything that already lived there.

===Star Wars===
While it is known to the Clone Wars era (possibly earlier) Republic and the Galactic Empire as Base Delta Zero, the Galaxy Far Far Away has known of orbital attack causing the destruction of all life on a planet for much longer. [[Bioware|Knights of the Old Republic]] implies Tatooine is the giant ball of sand that it is because it pissed off the Rakatan Infinite Empire precursors long before the formation of the Republic, and shows the city-planet of Taris destroyed with such an attack on orders of Darth Malak.

The Empire regularly made use of Exterminatus as part of its campaign to rule through terror. The peaceful planet of Caamas was destroyed early into the Empire merely for the suspicion they would one day oppose the Empire and (due to the widespread respect they had) encourage others to do so. BDZ is implied to have been relatively common under the Empire. This was taken to the extreme with the Death Star, a weapon designed to make exterminatus so easy nobody would oppose it out of fear. This backfired horribly when the station was destroyed after its second use at Alderaan, causing the galaxy to lash out in revolt (the first use was the slave labor planet it was being built at, it took three mid-power shots to kill everything, crack the mantle and blow it up in that order. Oh also it fired one other time minimal power at a Rebel task force who tried to blow it up under construction at the aforementioned slave planet, one-shotting the sole capital ship in the attack).

While the New Republic initially rejected Exterminatus, the war with extra-galactic invaders eventually pushed them into using it. BDZ was frequently used in later years as well, most notably at Ossus in 137 ABY.

===Halo===
In the [[Halo]] universe wiping out all life on a planet happens surprisingly often and has many interesting ways of doing so. It is the only way to be 100% certain you have dealt with a Flood outbreak

The UNSC has the options of nuking the planet in the box standard Nuclear Holocaust situation that's very much what you'd expect. However, their most powerful weapon is the NOVA Bomb. The NOVA Bomb is created by strapping together nine Standard Nuclear Fusion warheads and encasing them in a casing of Lithium triteride which amplifies the warheads destructive output that is unfortunately never mentioned but has the power to crack open a planet, earning the nickname "Planet Crackers". The first real use of this weapon was when it detonated between a planet and its moon destroying the moon and scorching half the surface of the planet, as well as destroying three-fifths of a 300 strong ship fleet.

The Covenant is well known for their orbital bombardment technique known as Glassing, where through high-energy plasma bombardment, a planet's surface is reduced to a glass-like material resembling Obsidian. This was the fate of many human planets during the Human-Covenant war including but not limited to Harvest, Madrigal, Eridanus II, Miridien, Paris IV, and Reach.

The Forerunners, of course, have arguably the most powerful method of wiping out all life on a planet in HALO Cannon. The titular Halo rings, which can cleanse either a single planet of life on lower more directed settings, to Massive regions of space at 25,000 light-years. When all seven are fired in consort, they can wipe out all life in the galaxy, which they have done before. The Forerunners have also created a device known as the composer, which takes an organic being, destroys their body, and uploads their consciousness into a digital format. The process is extremely painful and those composed aren't always sane by the end of it. Of course, there could be who knows what kind of life killing weapons in the Forerunner arsenal that haven't been revealed yet

==IRL Exterminatus==
''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_catastrophic_risk see Global Catastrophic Risk]''

===Thermo-Nuclear Holocaust===
Apparently, even when we aren't in the 41st millennium we still mastered the art of royally buttfucking a planet. In this case, it's ours, and a full-scale thermonuclear war between the United States and the Soviet Union (who each have thousands and thousands of nukes) would be enough to kill off humanity multiple times over. This is how Mutually Assured Destruction works, threatening each other and our own planet with Exterminatus with zero chance of survival, just so we won't begin another World War. Because [[Imperium of Man|we're bastards like that]]. The Cobalt Bombs described by Dr. Strangelove above are actually possible, though currently theoretical. Nuclear weapons designed to be deployed as bombs or missiles aren't strong enough to destroy the world with only 50 warheads, but if you don't mind moving the weapon once it's built, the only limit on how big your nuke can get is how much material you're willing to use on it. In theory, the doomsday device of Dr. Strangelove could be achieved with a single massive bomb.

This is further worth mentioning because automated retaliation systems that could activate nuclear weapons in response to a detected threat ''actually existed''. The Soviet Union had the "Dead Hand" system, based off of seismic, air pressure, and EM sensors. The system was normally kept inactive and was only supposed to be turned on during a crisis to guarantee that the Soviets would still be able to use their weapons even if their leadership was taken out by a first strike.

Some believe that elements of the Dead Hand system may have been lost or buried, and are active to this day. [[grimdark|A ticking automated Exterminatus waiting for a signal from aging cold-war era sensors.]]

An old quote from the film ''WarGames'' summarizes the game of Global Thermonuclear War/Exterminatus: ''The only winning move is not to play..."

===An Asteroid===
Really, all it takes to kill everything on a planet is a big enough rock traveling fast enough. Normally it's the cloud of dust that is kicked up into the atmosphere and blocks out the sun that does most of the work. Dinosaurs learned this the hard way. Of course, this doesn't really work too well on a forge or hive world which is already like that. For raw destructive force, however, the damage is a function of the speed and size of the asteroid. The former has some practical limits (though a civilization looking to weaponize this sort of exterminatus could possibly bring the rock up to relativistic speeds), but the latter can be nearly unlimited. A collision with a near planet-sized object would be more devastating than most ''fictional'' exterminatus weapons, obliterating the target world entirely. There could be any number of so-called 'rogue' planets floating in the empty spaces between stars, ready to slide into the solar system and crash into Earth, assuming humanity fails its collective ''Save or Die'' roll for the week. They'd have to [[fail]] incredibly hard because the overwhelming chance is that the rogue body will end up into the Sun (or Jupiter as a distant second choice), but yeah. [[Just as planned|Shit happens, yo!]]

===Super Volcano===
Works on the same principal as the asteroid, that if you get enough shit into the atmosphere you've royally fucked all life bigger than a mouse. This may not be very likely though on Earth as one of the biggest volcanoes (see yellowstone park) wouldn't wipe out humanity, probably. Maybe.

Unless, of course, seismic activity from that eruption managed to trigger the [http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-25598050/ OTHER NINETEEN] super volcanoes.

==The Fall of Typhon==
Good to know there's a ceremony for blowing up a planet.

''"We have arrived, and it is now that we perform our charge. ''
''In fealty to the God-Emperor (our undying Lord) and by the grace of the Golden Throne, I declare Exterminatus upon the Imperial world of Typhon Primaris. ''
''I hereby sign the death warrant of an entire world and consign a million souls to oblivion. ''
''May Imperial Justice account in all balance. ''
''The Emperor Protects."''

==The Words of Gabriel Angelos==
{{Topquote|It is human nature to seek culpability in a time of tragedy. It is a sign of strength to cry out against fate, rather than to bow one's head and succumb. Inevitably many shall fault the hands upon the sword which felled Typhon, the Ordo Malleus. But the Inquisition merely performs the duty of its office. To further fear them is redundant; to hate them, heretical. Those more sensible will place responsibility with those who forced the hands of the Inquisition. With some fortune, they may foster this hatred into purpose, and further rule their own fate by coming to the Emperor's service. Yet ultimately, it was I who set these events into motion, with a single blow from my hammer, God Splitter.|Gabriel Angelos of the Blood Ravens}}

Fuck, that's deep. The use of a properly modified version of this quote from Dawn of War Retribution has proved highly effective in sageing furfag troll threads and thus has been sanctioned by the holy /tg/ Inquisition for public use (keep it on /tg/).

==Battlefleet Gothic: Armada==
{{Topquote|Admiral Spire, it is said that heresy is like a tree. Its roots lie in darkness while its leaves wave in the sun. You can prune away its branches, even cut the tree to the ground. But it will grow again, ever stronger. Such is the nature of heresy and why it is so difficult to destroy. Some may question my right to destroy a world of ten billion souls. But those who truly understand, realize I have no right to let them live. No sacrifice is too great. No treachery too small.|Inquisitor Horst}}''

==Exterminatus on the Tabletop==
Though not the most effective of lists, it is particularly hilarious and surprisingly fluffy to declare Exterminatus on large table games of 40k. In general Exterminatus is used when one player with a large force of 3500+ points of space marines and is in danger of losing the field of battle. In which case the player grabs the closest heavy object and begins to smash the opponents models screaming “EXTERMINATUS IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR EXTERMINATUS” until the opponent’s army is destroyed and (or) he is forcibly removed from the table . Another relatively simple way is to simply take a [[Grey Knights]] army, field a single Bro-Capt. or Grand Master with an orbital Strike Relay, [[Witch Hunters|Karamazov]] (who also has one) and two troop choices (if you're playing a regular game -- if you're playing [[Apocalypse]], you can skip the troops) Then cram in as many Techmarines as you can, give them all Orbital Strike Relays and watch the bombs drop. For the average 3000 point game, you can get Krazypants off and 20 bare-bones techies with the relays. that's 21 Strength 10 AP1 pie-plates smashing down on your opponents Baneblades, Warhounds and other special hard-as-balls to kill shit your opponents have! Also great for swarm-busting (the relays can fire D3 pieplates each per guy but at Strength 6). Picture Krazypantsoff standing on a hilltop, pointing at buildings and going "Bang.", then watching them all blow up. Of course, if the Inquisitor dies, you're fucked. So maybe just camp him in cover. But that's only if you're lame.

For those of you with enough money to field the Horus Heresy army list from Forge World, Horus can call down an orbital strike with infinite range and S10 AP1 from anywhere on the map. Now you can reenact the Istvaan III atrocities yourself!

For an Apocalypse game you can also field an exterminatus guard force.
All you need is:
n * 6 guardsmen (one with a vox).
The list is fairly simple - Just field as many Company Command Squads with nothing but Master of Ordinance and fire away (for a 3k game its almost 38 s9 ap3 blasts a turn)
Don't forget to field some epic(troll) music to laugh at your opponents face, and after the battle proceed with knocking the table down to finish with a speech gritty nuff to make Sturnn himself proud.

As of 7th edition, it's now possible to forego the FoC chart and take whatever models you want. This means you can take 15 Chapter Masters in a 2k list.

In 40k terms, you can get some SERIOUS Exterminatus going with the [[Necrons|'Crons]] and their Doomsday Arks. In one Primary Detachment, for example, you can take a fully viable 1500-point Necron army as so: Overlord with Warscythe, 5 Immortals, 10 Warriors and 3 Doomsday Arks. If the Doomsday Arks don't move, they can provide one 72" Strength 10 AP 1 Primary Weapon Large Blast each, allowing for some serious [[butthurt]] from your opponents (and this may make you [[That Guy]] if done well because this is a level of cheese on the table that France would be proud of). If you're trying to break into a bunker-sized fortification, use these three things on the doors. Then you can re-enact the dying moments of [[The Conquest of Uttu Prime]] sans the [[Megalith]]!

==TL;DR==
You fuckers just backed Chaos and now you have a daemon infestation? Your planet 'gon git [[FATAL|raaaaaaaaaaaaaaped]].

<gallery>
image:exterminatus.jpg
image:exterminatus2.jpg
File:Red nuke button turned into EXTERMINATUS.png|Suffer not the Tau Player to live
File:Exterminatusthread.jpg|The E-quisition vigilantly purges the Emperor's internets of chaos taint.
File:Foxy Lady.jpg|If the inhabitants of a planet remotely resembles this creature, it's guaranteed to be exterminatused upon discovery. If pictures like this are found on a thread in /tg/, it's guaranteed to be saged and trolled upon discovery
File:Fall_of_Reach_1.jpg|If said inhabitants started space-faring like a certain [[Chakat|Chakat]], then you could call your local Inquisition or any Xeno manly enough to [[Get shit done|get shit done, just like the Covenant shown in the image.]]
File:Hello exterminatus Warhammer 40k sister of battle rule 34.jpg|See? The Internet can even make the end of the world look sexy!
File:Rocks are not free citizen.jpg|Don't suggest bolides as a method of exterminatus.
File:Sherman.gif|War is Hell, and Hell is beautiful.
File:Ohara Incident.png|Although this is not a planet, it's just too B-E-A-[[weeaboo]]-TIFUL.
File:ExterminatusButton.gif|Not ''actually'' how the Inquisition works...mostly.
File:Larrynevindisk.jpg|The original Magic: the Gathering Exterminatus
</gallery>

Vidya:
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h67JpMyrOVE
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYXj9xOUFIM
* The unofficial theme-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_tIw9Il934
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEGo41443iI The heresy scene mentioned in the quotes at the top.]
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubNqUyf0op0
[[Category:Imperial]][[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Meme]]

Crusaders

2019-12-05T23:14:48Z

2600:1700:BF90:B950:A49E:9857:8C8B:4BBF: /* Crunch */

[[File:Crusader.jpg|340px|right|thumb|Come at me and fight me with all thy strength, thou traitorous heretics!]]
''Not to be confused with the page, [[Crusader]].''

'''Crusader'''s AKA Teutonic Knights in SPESS, Space [[Bretonnian]], [[Grey Knights]] lite, [[Inquisition]]'s pet zealots are fanatical warriors that graduate from the [[Ecclesiarchy|same school]] as the [[Sisters of Battle|Bolter Bitches]]. Most Crusaders inducted into the ranks of the Ecclesiarchy from a [[Schola Progenium]], selected for their unflagging devotion to the Emperor. To be selected is a great honor, though it leads not only to a grueling life of asceticism and martial perfection, but also inevitably to an [[Grimdark|unmourned death in battle against the forces of heresy and apostasy]]. Most Crusaders are identifiable with their iconic shields and swords.

As you may know, the Inquisition has a soft spot for these fellows due to a combination of absolute loyalty, zealotry and not taking no as an answer. Unsurprisingly, [[Ministorum Priest]] from the Ecclesiarchy often gather a band of bodyguards to assist them in the execution of their duties and [[Heretic|heretics]]. Known as a [[Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave]], these groups are necessarily small; anything larger would breach the prohibition of "men under arms" as laid down in the Decree Passive that prohibited the Ecclesiarchy from raising its own male military forces in the wake of the abuses carried out during the [[Age of Apostasy]]. While this may seem contradictory, take note that Crusaders on a whole, work as a small militia rather than an actual army and are often seconded by other organizations such as the Inquisition and even [[Rogue Trader]]s, thus they do not betray the whole "men under arms" schlick, it also means that they're the only one with a dick within the [[Adepta Sororitas]]; [[Ministorum Priest|old wrinkly ballsacks do not count.]]

==Equipment==
As mentioned, Crusaders are identified with their iconic Master Crafted [[Power Weapon|Power Sword]] and a shield that comes in either the Crusader Suppression Shield or Storm Shield. Crusaders also come equipped with standard issue Master Crafted Carapace Armour and a Badge of Office as well as a Micro-Bead.

==Crusader Houses==
Like the [[Imperial Knight|Imperial Knights]], each Crusader come from a noble family dubbed as Crusader Houses. Because of their close links with the Inquisition, Crusaders are thus almost utterly loyal and are sworn to serve the agents of the Inquisition with no regard for their own desires whatsoever. These puissant warriors are inducted into one of the Crusader Houses, each of which is a closed and secretive community with as few as a dozen or as many as several thousand members. Many of these Houses are located near to Inquisitorial facilities, and some are housed inside the larger Inquisitorial fortresses.

An examples is the Tricorn in Hive Sibellus on Scintilla which hosts a number of Crusader Houses, the warriors of each always close at hand to accompany Throne Agents wherever their duties may take them. The duty of a Crusader is to protect a specific Inquisitor, to whom he is bonded by a solemn, unbreakable oath. However, they are more than mere bodyguards. A Crusader is the Inquisitor’s right hand which delivers the coup de grâce or parries the attacks of his foe. Thus they are often the most trusted companion an Inquisitor can have, which is often needed due to the Inquisitor's often [[Paranoia|paranoid views on outsiders and especially other Inquisitors.]] Like their suped-up brothers, the [[Grey Knights]]; to have been inducted into a Crusader House, the warrior must have been judged nigh-incorruptible, at least in so far as any mortal can be judged so. Induction into a Crusader House occurs only at the invitation of one of its senior members, and only after the subject has been scrutinized from a distance, sometimes for many years. Therefore to become a Crusader, one must prove themselves pure and noble in the highly meritocratic system of the Inquisition, of course it is by choice as the Inquisition in a rare case of being reasonable, aren't a fan towards dogmatism and are pragmatic so long as it suits their needs. Having joined the cloistered ranks of the Crusaders, the inductee puts aside all thoughts of personal ambition and dedicates himself body and soul to the House and the greater cause pursued by the Holy Orders of the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor]]’s Inquisition. From that moment on, the Crusader casts off wealth and all possessions beside his weapons, armour, and the articles of his faith. He takes residence in a bare stone cell within the Crusader House until such time as he is called upon to serve an Inquisitor. This is often a test of humbleness and selflessness in order to weed out any potential personal sins that may hamper a Crusader's quest of enlightenment. This type of actions can actually be seen by real life Buddhist monks of [[Asians|Asia]] and Priests (At least the non-corrupt cultist ones) in Europe.

Crusaders study every aspect of the arts of close combat, excelling in the use of melee weapons. For some reason, they eschew ranged weapons, believing that the pure essence of duty is only to be found in the clash of steel on steel, where blood is shed and bone shatters asunder. As you can expect it is often seen as a bit ''too'' [[Imperial Worlds#Feudal Worlds|traditional]] and are often seen as a flashing target practice for the occasional [[Tau]] and [[Eldar]]. Crusader Houses teach many and varied martial techniques, many houses favoring a specific, signature weapon by which its members are known. They also bear the intricately inscribed names and deeds of former owners, reminding the current bearer of his duties and that the eyes of the past are ever upon him.

Of course a Crusader still has strong familiar ties with the Ecclesiarchy and will come to assist them (Albeit in small numbers) if the need arises such as protecting important priests to going on Wars of Faith to even participating in an actual Crusade along with the [[Black Templars]] to further hone in the neo-medieval theme of WH40K to an absurd extreme.

==Crunch==
These guys where originally the 3rd edition [[Daemonhunters]] codex as part the henchmen retinue. Falling under the "warrior" class they simply added +1WS to the inquisitor. While they were armed with a stormshield, they sucked back then (stormshields only working in melee) and were mostly supplanted by stormtroopers and acolytes. Then Finally after ages of being in that book they got put into the 5th edition grey knights codex, though why would one use them in a codex full of melee specialists with more attacks, higher strength, ranged attacks and more attacks is anyone's guess. They also popped up in the Sisters of battle codex, where they filled a unique niche of super tanky melee specialist (something they didn't need, but could use). Then the inquisition codex for 6th edition came out. Here they were useful and effective (especially with hammerhand from an inquisitor) and were commonly used in mixed units with death cult assassins for a tanky, choppy, uber awesome- mini death star (commonly with a Xeno inquisitor with rad and psyco-stroke grenades on top). Imperial agents separated them into only adeptus ministorum single units. With the release of 8th edition they are part of the adeptus ministorum as 2-10 man squads and now get AoF, zealot (the 8th edition kind) and are considerably powerful being able to attack/move twice through on a 2+ AoF. [[awesome|All while not costing a single point more]]. As of November 2019 they are in both the Imperial Guard and Adepta Sororitas codicies; it seems everyone likes a zealot.

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