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Blood Ravens

2023-05-10T00:02:35Z

2600:387:9:3:0:0:0:41: MINE!

{{Infobox Spess Mahreen Chapter
|Name = Blood Ravens
|Heraldry = [[Image:Bloodravenslogo.jpg|250px]]
|Battle Cry = '''Pre-Retribution:''' "Knowledge is power. Guard it well… because we are coming for it." '''Post-Retribution:''' "None shall find us wanting…for war gear, that is." '''Unofficial:''' "STEAL IT!! MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE"[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Tavp0vrBOLA]
|Number = Unknown, technically 15
|Founding = Unknown, could exist as far back as the second, though there is evidence that they were part of the [[21st founding]]
|Successors of = Unknown, as close to confirmed to be [[Thousand Sons]] as you can get.
|Successor Chapters = N/A
|Chapter Master = [[Gabriel Angelos]]
|Primarch = Unknown, though probably <s>[[Trazyn the Infinite]]</s> [[Magnus the Red]]
|Homeworld = Aurelia (devastated), currently fleet-based
|Specialty = [[Psyker]]s, <s>looting, liberating, collecting</s> '''Recovering''' "lost" relics, plot armour,[[Reasonable Marines| Attacking in key positions]]
|Strength = as little as 250 after [[Dawn of War 2#Retribution|Kyras’ ascension]], currently greater than 2000 following Primaris reinforcements
|Allegiance = [[Imperium of Man]]
|Arch-enemies = [[Chaos]]
|Colours = Red, bone white inner pauldrons with black trim
}}

{{topquote|1=I am a thief of knowledge, and in a survival way, I had to solve all the problems around me.|2=Philippe Petit}}
{{topquote|1=Blood Ravens? Go lock the reliquary.|2=[https://youtu.be/mabM64rAd4k?t=14m13s Calato, Deathwatch Champion, to a random Stormtrooper upon encountering a Blood Ravens force... and pretty much any other loyalist chapter working with them.]}}

The '''Bluhd Rehvehns''' are one of the better-known background Chapters, primarily from their starring role in the [[Dawn of War]] /v/ series.

Because of how greatly received were the original 2 DoW entries, and thanks to the fact that they are the custom Chapter of [[Relic Entertainment]], they might give a shot for their money to the Ultramarines for the most recognizable Chapter of Space Marines to the general public. Damn, they might be THE most recognizable among the modern new hobbyists because of that.

They have ''waaaaaaaay'' too many psykers and are obsessed with <s>stealing</s> <s>finding</s> <s>reclaiming</s> <s>stealing</s> <s>finding</s> <s>reclaiming </s> <s>stealing</s> <s>finding</s> <s>reclaiming</s> <s>stealing</s> <s>finding</s> <s>reclaiming</s> <s>stealing</s> <s>MINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE</s> <s>STEAL RAIN</s> <s>STHEEL REHIN</s> recovering lost relics, mostly because they don't know anything about their history. They have no records dating before the [[Age of Apostasy]]. This led to a meme that they are [[Traitor Legion Loyalists|loyalist descendants]] of the [[Thousand Sons]], but later, according to fluff, became about as canon as it gets, though some bits doesn't workout.

In short: The Blood Ravens are a Space Marine chapter of an unknown founding with an unknown history. They have a heavy focus on Psykers, especially in leadership, and may be [[Traitor Legion Loyalists]] of the [[Thousand Sons]]. There is a meme about them supposedly having kleptomania due to many of the character upgrades in Dawn of War 2 being blatantly <s>stolen</s> ("gifted") from other chapters; as a fleet based chapter with little Imperial support, they are known to do heavy battlefield scavenging. In [[Skub|nu-40k]], they are roughly made up of about half Primaris, and are on the wrong side of the [[Great Rift]].

==History==
[[File:Indrick Boreale.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Indrick Baldeale, a Blud Rehvens Captain: Teh greahtehst hero of teh chaphter and mastur of <s>STEEL</s> STEAL REHN.]]
This chapter existed, but was very obscure before the Dawn of War vidya gaems. This would remain their only claim to fame if Dawn of War hadn't spawned dozens of [[meme]]s. Perhaps the most famous example of these memes is the voice acting of the Captain Indrick Boreale, who is the origin of the terms [[Emprah]] and [[Space Marine|Spehss mahreens]]. They are also infamous on /tg/ for losing half their chapter in a single campaign, also thanks to Brother-Captain Boreale, who got himself krumped by the Ork Warboss [[Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter]].

The Blood Ravens are also famous for their '''raven'''ous kleptomania {{BLAM|'''BLAM''' Making bad puns is HERESY}}, discussed in greater depth below, as well as an infamous reputation for STEALING. SCREW YOU GABE ITS TRUE.

One of the few heavily implied, let alone interesting, things about their history is the possibility that they are descendants of a [[Thousand Sons]] schism cult or possibly (but significantly less likely) a breakaway from the Word Bearers. The short story "Rebirth" in ''Age of Darkness'' shows what might be the foundation of the Chapter, as hinted before in ''A Thousand Sons'' Horus Heresy book. That story shows that most of the Corvidae (as in the genus of birds to which the raven belongs) Fellowship of the Legion was sent away by [[Magnus]] during the Burning of [[Prospero]]. The leader of this Fellowship, Revuel '''Arvida''', has a name very similar to Azari'''ah Vidya''', the legendary hero of the Blood Ravens, who utters "Knowledge is Power, Guard It Well", the motto of the Blood Ravens. However, Arvida would later separate from any other surviving Thousand Sons and join with the [[White Scars]] on their way back to Terra, where he was merged with a fragment of [[Magnus the Red]] and became an altogether new entity named '''Ianius''', who would later lead the [[Grey Knights]] as one of their eight founding Grand Masters.

Still, Thousand Sons are known to have fought on both sides of the conflict, and any loyalist Thousand Sons force would have had to do a certain amount of foraging to remain a viable force. So the theory remains valid if you "neglect" asking the compelling question how they possibly might have managed to evade the flesh change, which undoubtedly would also have afflicted any "splinter sects" after Tzeentch basically told Magnus that the deal was off an that he would now pay the price for dealing with CHAOS during the battle of Prospero (meaning that his sons would now be prone to the flesh change again, turning them into [[Chaos Spawn]]-NONONOahvajldazbvzaj- To continue where my predecessor left off, the question remains how a possibly loyal Thousand Sons off-shoot could have avoided the flesh change for 10.000 years as they would have had the same unstable gene seed just like any other Thousand Son (which made Magnus make a bargain with CHAOS in the first place). Evidence for the Word Bearer theory are many but not limited to; interpreting Eliphas' taunts in Dark Crusade in a certain way, and Eliphas is very much someone who will take great joy in lying if it means messing with someone's head, close similarities between the Word Bearers and Blood Ravens legion-chapter culture with many of their sayings having been revealed to have their origins in Colchis, The Word Bearer's homeworld, or the most damning fact that unlike the Thousand Sons, The Blood Raven's geneseed is not only stable but is also not affected by the Rubric of Ahriman which immediately turns any non-psyker space marine that has any derivative of Magnus' geneseed into dust while geneseed from the Word Bearers are known to be stable and not prone to sudden and violent transformations. It is worth noting as a counterpoint, that the [[Lamenters]], a particularly unfortunate offshoot of the [[Blood Angels]], managed to (ostensibly) rid themselves of their gene-seed flaw...(Not any more, it returned because <s>they're unlucky bastards I guess</s> the Black Rage is a psychic curse rather than a genetic flaw.). There's also that pesky quote from [[Laurie Goulding]] that denies any connection between Revuel Arvida and the Blood Ravens, but he works for Disney writing [[HERESY|nu-Star Wars]] now so [[BLAM|'''fuck''']] him.

On the other hand though, they have an unusually high number of unusually powerful psykers, with two full squads of Librarians in the First Company and were (at least until the events of [[Dawn of War 2#Retribution|Retribution]]) lead by a combination of [[Chapter Master]]s and [[Librarian]]s. Finally, their obsession with lost knowledge and mystic relics mirrors pre-Heresy Thousand Sons. Hell, even their ''colour scheme'' is suspiciously close to the one used by the pre-Heresy Thousand Sons. Also, if you want to read ''way'' too much into it, it should be noted that almost every other Traitor Legion has known, named Loyalist members, most of whom aided [[Malcador]] with the creation of the [[Inquisition]].

However, given the ambiguous and circumstantial nature of what little evidence exists, we may never know if this is true. For a time, there was a rumour of a Blood Ravens Codex produced by Games Workshop, which would probably expand on the theory. However, the codex never came out, the rumours quietly died out and do not look likely to be revived anytime soon. There's also [[Aaron Dembski-Bowden]] revealing GW's official stance against the [[Silver Skulls|Traitor Loyalist theory]]. (Not that anyone with any sense cares 1 whit about what ADB has to say about canon, especially in regards to his widdle pwecious chaos space marines that are totally his and no one else is allowed to touch them ever ever only his spacemans can be kool ORIGINAL CHARACTER DOUGHNUT STEEL. (And please ignore the fact that ADB made his own traitor-descended loyalist chapter called The [[Shadow Wolves]].)) (Although it is supposedly also the company's devise and the Wolves was a gesture to his wife.)

Others posit that the Blood Ravens are possibly descendants of the [[Dark Angels]] though not among the Unforgiven due to their similarly secretive nature, others point to the Raven Guard for a similarity in name, and some people have raised the possibility of descent from the rather psyker heavy White Scars. Some boring people look to the Ultramarines instead, but this is rather uninteresting. The issue with all the theories of loyalist descent is that whatever the Blood Ravens' actual origins are, it's worth being ashamed of and the truth of their parentage is something Thule himself refused to tell anyone. Finding out they were descended from the Blood or Dark Angels or the Raven Guard, nevermind mutation free legions like the White Scars or Ultramarines wouldn't be worth getting angry about. Even having a modified but still purely monolineage geneseed from a loyalist chapter is not really anything to be ashamed of, as all the twenty first founding chapters with known loyalist legion parentage show no inclination to hide it from anyone. And before you say "if they were sons of the Lion with descent from the Fallen Angels wouldn't that be shame worthy?" if that were true, the Unforgiven would have probably "disappeared" the Blood Ravens a long time ago when they inevitably found out in an attempt to find more of the Fallen. Then again, if the Blood Ravens are Dark Angels successors and aren't descended from the Fallen (which is extremely unlikely, as discussed above), they might still have something to be ashamed of - they almost certainly aren't members of the Unforgiven, which would indicate that they were actually exiled from the Unforgiven due to some sin or mistake committed, which would be valid reason for shame of one's origins. Coincidentally, such a fate could be described as being found "wanting", and given the chapter's motto after Gabe's ascension to Chapter Master...

However, a dark horse theory is that they're actually a chimeric composite chapter with multiple lines of descent and component; which would explain away the flesh change, their seemingly supernaturally terrible luck, and even possibly their name, and heraldry. This theory posits that the chapter was made from the Adeptus Mechanicus' tinkerings with geneseed, quite likely including the geneseed of the Thousand Sons and possibly the, [[Night Lords]], and [[Word Bearers]], along with those of loyalist legions (including the [[Raven Guard]], Blood Angels, [[Imperial Fists]], Dark Angels, [[Ultramarines]], and even the White Scars) in an attempt to create a more stable form of psychic space marine. This theory certainly would make their origins something worth hiding from others, as even insinuating that a Chapter is born of chimeric geneseed is almost universally considered a grievous insult and is never something any chapter known in 40k openly admits. Now add the shame of being bastards to including the genetics of one, two, or more traitor legions and you'd have a very serious reason for Davian Thule to deem that the truth of the Chapter's origins is too monstrous for anyone else to ever learn. It's certainly a theory that can neatly explain any of the holes in the other theories and it would explain why they're said to have not appeared until the age of apostasy when the twenty first founding occurred. Also, lines up well with how they learnt more about their origin by studying the Primaris. And 9th did suggest to use Ultramarines' tactic (probably just for general playstyle).

The Blood Ravens have only two recorded mutations in their [[gene seed]]. The first one affects their Catalepsean Node, the Implant that allows a Space Marine to need less sleep and resist the effects of sleep deprivation. In the Blood Ravens, this node malfunctions, preventing them from entering R.E.M. sleep, a real and terminal condition called Fatal insomnia, but the Catalepsean Node keeps them alive despite this, and has the side effect of giving the Blood Ravens perfect memory. The second mutation, if it can be counted as one, is the chapter's unusually high frequency of producing or activating latent psychic power, with the chapter having an extremely high number of librarians like Blood Angels and [[Solar Hawks]].

Other, less documented (as in fan-developed) characteristics include a massive tendency to develop kleptomania, generate a gelatinous substance in their scalps to allow for the creation of hairetical hair, and something known as "unavailable original voice acting" which causes some members' voices to change periodically.

They are also notable for having [[Azariah Kyras|a librarian chapter master]] [[C.S. Goto|who dedicates himself to Khorne]]. Normally this would be a case of extreme bullshit writing, <s>but appears to make some degree of sense in that the Chapter Master/Head Librarian in question is never seen using sorcerous powers after revealing his new loyalty</s> He psykically projects himself onto Typhon, in order to trick the protagonists onto the planet to cause the Exterminatus. But after that, Daemon Princes, even of Khorne (which he ultimately transforms into), actually have massive psychic potential.

The [[Dawn of War III]] initial reveal page shows that good ol' Gabe is in fact alive, meaning that the Space Marine ending in Dawn of War II was in fact completely canon. Unfortunately, Gabe is no longer mostly bionic so [[Derp|who knows what's canon]].

Anyways, the Blood Raven's new motto under Gabriel Angelos was "None Shall Find Us Wanting", which is the saying they use in Space Marine, unlike their old "Knowledge is Power, Guard it Well" schtick, indicating that the events of Space Marine occurred after DoW:Retribution. In any event, whether Space Marine itself is actually canon or not is up for debate, though GW's official stance is that most of it is not, which would mean that there is no evidence at all about what actually happens. You'll have to [[Matt Ward|decide for yourself]].

Interestingly, seen as a whole, this also means that Graham McNeill's incorrect statement that Gabe was the Chapter Master at the time he wrote the WD Blood Ravens Index Astartes article (published Nov 2004), is now retroactively correct, as Gabe does indeed become Chapter Master in the Space Marine ending of Retribution (released in Mar 2011)... unless this was [[JUST AS PLANNED|already the intended direction of Relic/Games Workshop's plot arc from the beginning]].

[[Wat|Knowing Games Workshop though]], Eliphas is probably still alive. Probably a Daemon Prince, too. Because, as with all secondary 40K media: "Fuck coherency in the name of storytelling!".

===Post-[[Cicatrix Maledictum]]===

In the White Dwarf of July 2019 we discovered [[Advancing the Storyline|what happened after Acheron]].

After the clusterfuck that was Acheron and the chapter reduced to half-strength (or maybe a third by that point), the Blood Ravens returned to Subsector Aurelia in force to a large-scale regroup and rebuild (which means that they didn't pursue [[Gorgutz]] and his no-longer-majikal pointy stikk) with the hope of putting the chapter back in full strength. [[Not as Planned|However]], a few weeks later the Great Rift opened and Subsector Aurelia is on the bad side of the rift. Barely managing to make contact with the groups doing the recruitment, losing ships with aspirants in the warp, weird shit happening all across the subsector and mutation and heresy spreading to the point of Daemonic incursions (Fortunately, Ulkair didn't break out, but not for lack of trying). Angelos, being awesome if sentimental, dispatched help whenever needed and tried to contact the Imperium, and sent ships to find out what happened, with [[Fail|predictable results]].

It was in this situation that the Custodes made contact with the Blood Ravens and informed them of [[Indomitus Crusade|all]] [[Roboute Guilliman|that]] [[Cicatrix Maledictum|happened]] on the Terran side. They also "brought" with them Primaris gene-seed to help rebuild their chapter. When the Custodes made it clear that they would not take "no" for an answer, the Blood Ravens accepted and started creating Primaris Marines, and eventually this saw them back to fighting status.

Given that the future of Dawn of War is not very bright at all and the Blood Ravens were created to be poster boys for that series, this is quite possibly the last we'll ever hear of them.

Some highlights include:
* All the ass-pullery, terminator flips and Inquisitorial idiocy (which to be fair is par for the course) of [[Dawn of War III]] was [[Wat|tabletop-canon]]! Clearly, Gabriel's armour must be some Dark-Age super-relic. Then again, it's a master-crafted [[Terminator#Tartaros|Tartaros Terminator Armour]], so it's not that far-fetched...EXCEPT NOT! Due to the fact that other equally master crafted suits don't allow you to jump extremely high unless you have a Harlequin Anti-Grav Harness or something similar like near unique archeotech to allow for something like this (though if ONE chapter were to have it, it would be the kleptomaniacs).
* The Blood Ravens have been investigating the gene-seed and tools gifted by the Custodes and [[Belisarius Cawl|Papa Cawl]]. They apparently made significant insights into their origins, but it was determined that nobody outside of the chapter must ever know about their primogenitors and only the most senior officers of the Blood Ravens have actually been entrusted with that information. Draw your own conclusions.
* The Custodes are really pushy bastards, but they didn't ask for their "gifted" equipment back. Either they don't know of their presence or they don't care; given that the Custodes' standard wargear are better than even the best weapons usually Space Marines get, the latter is slightly more probable. Or maybe the writers just forgot that the Magpies had Custodes gear, we don't know.
* [[Davian Thule]]'s fate after the Third Aurelian Crusade (a.k.a. Dawn of War 2: Retribution) is unknown. Which means that he may be alive after all!
* [[Blood Ravens Force Commander|Force Commander Hairgel]] and his hair-etical friend's fates are unknown.
* The planet Aurelia is officially recognized as the former homeworld of the Chapter, their late Chapter Monastery being Selenon.
* Related to the above: Ulkair is still imprisoned in Aurelia for now, but the opening of the Great Rift stirred him up A LOT.
* Being a chapter with so many psykers also means that many aspirants end up mad because of their powers, while others end up like Isador Akios and go too deep in their studies of Chaos. These poor bastards are kept in the Librarius Sanatorum before being put to use one last time before execution. What that final use is isn't mentioned, but it's probably related as to where things went to hell with them. Chief Librarian Jonah Orion is being extra cautious with these Librarians after the Cicatrix popped up.
*New Lore is added where failed Psyker Aspirants are either Shot to prevent Daemonic Corruption, die due to their uncontrolled powers, or [[Thousand Sons|mutated by the warp and to be used as experiments by the chapter's Librarians inside the Omnis Arcanum jail called "The Tower" where they find ways to cure/prevent such anomalies present within the chapter's geneseed flaw.]] Rumour has it that sometimes [[Librarians]] have to banish warp entities that manifested themselves within the failed Aspirants, but nobody can confirm if that's true.
*Sometime later the Blood Ravens joined in with [[Roboute Guilliman]]'s Indomitus Crusade and help liberate thousands of worlds in the Dark Imperium side of the Galaxy and possibly acquire more "Gifts" for the Reliquary.

== The Thousand Sons connection ==
While the records of who the Blood Ravens are descended from are lost/redacted/burned, etc. The Blood Ravens have made it a mission to find out. In general, possibilities have ranged from just loyalists (such as having relics of several different chapters / legions, including a few relics from primarchs), to being a [[Traitor Legion Loyalists|loyal successor of a traitor legion]] (due to having extremely strong links to Thousand Sons). Most specifically, the strongest evidence for the Thousand Sons' progenitor legion indeed being that of the Great Crusade-era Thousand Sons' Corvidae Cult:

* Publications like the July 2019 White Dwarf often end their discussion of the progenitor of the Blood Ravens with things like "their propensity for sorcery suggests their sire was not one of the Emperor's nine loyal sons...".
* The Blood Ravens being traitor legion genestock is often hinted at, as any time the Blood Ravens' inner circle of leaders find strong evidence of their progenitor....they destroy or hide any record of their discovery, despite their normal obsession with finding/hoarding/protecting knowledge. Even when they were given the tech and geneseed for Primaris Marines, they apparently found ''something'' that they are making damn sure remains hidden from anyone outside of the chapter.
* The Blood Ravens armour painting bares similarities to the Thousand Sons' pre-Heresy colors. Near identical to the Sekhmet, the elite veterans of the Thousand Sons, who once shared leadership with the Corvidae Cult.
* The Blood Ravens' obsession with discovering / hording knowledge is a mirror of the Thousand Sons own knowledge obsession. Complete with an obsession of keeping vast libraries and archives.
* They have a massive amount of psykers, easily the most of any individual chapter. Just like the Thousand Sons had by far the most psykers of any of the original legions.
* Their recruitment practices of pulling from worlds with a larger number of psykers mirrors the same from the Thousand Sons.
* Their tactics are a mirror of the Thousand Son's Corvidae Cult. Using their psykic powers to see into the future to foresee enemy plans.
* The sigil of the Corvidae Cult being a raven's head, while the Blood Ravens use a raven as their own sigil.
* In the novel, 'Burning of Prospero', the psyker "Kallista Eris" is used by the Corvidae Cult to scry the future. Describing her visions, she says this: '"It’s too late... the Wolf is at the door and it hungers for blood. Oh, Throne... no, the blood! '''The Ravens''', I see them too. The lost sons and a '''Raven of Blood'''. They cry out for salvation and knowledge, but it is denied! A brother betrayed, a brother murdered. The worst mistake for the noblest reason! It cannot happen, but it must!"'
* In the short story, 'Rebirth', featuring Revuel Arvida (a member of the Corvidae Cult. And who would later become Janus, the first Grand Master of the [[Grey Knights]]): '"'''Knowledge is power'''," he breathed. Then he turned away from the scene, and stole quickly back into the occlusion of the ruins. As he went, the dim red light of the angry magma fires caught on his shoulder guard, exposing the serpentine star set about the black raven-head of his cult discipline."' ('''Knowledge is Power''' being the first half of the Blood Raven's own motto, and the scene drawing attention to the Corvidae Cult's Black Raven head sigil as a black raven is the Blood Raven's own sigil. This statement also hints that it may have well been Arvida himself who founded the Blood Ravens.
* Ahzek Ahriman, who was once the leader of the Corvidae Cult before the fall of the Thousand Sons, stated that he knew the Blood Ravens' former Chapter Master "Azariah Vidya" very well, and admits that both he and Vidya had copies of the "Un-Founding", a book detailing the history of the Blood Ravens. This implying that he once met Vidya, and together they discovered the Blood Raven's history.
* In the Index Astartes - Blood Ravens, the section talking of their combat doctrine alludes to how their foresight is similar to how Magistus Amon's (founder of the Corvidae Cult) warnings to Magnus inadvertently lead to the primarchs fall to Chaos.

=== Founded by Janus? ===
If the Blood Ravens were somehow founded by Arvida, after his transformation into Janus, then it would well explain how the Blood Ravens suffer neither the Flesh Change, nor Rubric. As Janus was created by infusing Arvida with a shard of Magnus' soul. Magnus was noted to have a stabilising effect on the Thousand Sons' gene-seed (basically stabilising the warp-fuckery that is inherent to the Tsons gene-seed). Arvida merging directly with a shard of Magnus could have easily perma-fixed not only his body but his gene-seed as well, so even gene-seed grown from his progenoid glands would not suffer the gene-flaws. However, after the merge, "Janus" claimed that he had no memory of his life as Arvida. He could have later remembered his past life, or as the Grand Master of the Grey Knights, there would be nothing stopping him from finding out. And being a shard of Magnus (and one of the Thousand Sons), finding lost knowledge would always be of interest to him. Alternatively, he may have been under orders from [[Malcador]] or the Emperor to claim as such.

The hints at Janus being the founder of the Blood Ravens is the strongest of any potential individual:
* A statement he made, without anyone around to hear him, "'Knowledge is Power'", is the first part of the Blood Raven's chapter motto.
* He was a member of the Thousand Sons' Corvidae Cult, which the Blood Ravens are as close to confirmed to be descended from as you can hope for.
* Being the Grand Master of the Grey Knights, wiping any record of his own existence would easily explain the Blood Ravens' inability in discovering their real founder.
* Related to the above, what records of the Blood Ravens exist are redacted under the order of the Ordo Maellus, which the Grey Knights are a part of.
* The Blood Ravens have worked alongside the Grey Knights before, and apparently have a good relationship with them as the Blood Ravens took a suit of Grey Knight armour and the GK's didn't do anything about it and in dawn of war dark crusade and soul storm the marines (the faction it self pattered after the Blood Ravens), could use a unit of Grey Knights.
* The oldest known leader of the Blood Ravens is an Astartes named Azariah Vidya, who was noted to already have extensive knowledge/experience in combating the forces of Chaos and used it to OP effect against the Alpha Legion, "Azariah Vidya" sounding similar name to "Arvida". Wouldn't be like he hasn't changed his name before, from "Ianus" to "Janus".
* Janus disappeared sometime between 546.M32 and 290.M34, as by the latter date, the Grey Knights have a new Supreme Grandmaster.

== On the Tabletop ==

Thanks to Dawn of War, Blood Ravens now receive at least passing mention in each Space Marine codex -- including, as mentioned above, a lot of fluff and rules updates in July 2019's White Dwarf.

Canonically they lost a good amount of their number due to being trapped in the Dark Imperium, but were gifted -- no, seriously this time -- Primaris geneseed and tech by the Emissaries Imperatus of the Custodes. According to the fluff the Blood Ravens have a not insignificant number of Librarians, as befitting a possible Thousand Sons successor chapter.

In the Index Astartes update in WD July 2019, a specific Chapter Tactic was provided -- '''Relentless Seekers''', which forces any unmodified rolls to wound of 1 or 2 to always fail, as well as giving them the ability to reroll 1s for any Psychic test or Deny the Witch. They also have a special Stratagem which for 1CP, allows them to make one of their librarians a '''Chief Librarian''', which has 1 more power and can deny the witch 1 more time per turn.

In perhaps a nod to what the Bloody Magpies are best known for, '''Purgatorus''', a special bolt pistol that they just happened to end up with is also listed as a wargear option.

The release of the 2019 Space Marines codex, however, made it clear that Magpies still steal everything, including chapter tactics — as theirs is a pick of two options from the make-your-own-successor-tactic list, and Purgatorus is a generic relic available to anyone.

=== Blood Ravens Paint Scheme ===
[[File:Rik Turner's Blood Ravens.png|275px|thumb|right|They were gifted Primaris Gene Seed from the Custodes. No, literally.]]

The first official colour scheme provided was Khorne Red Armour, a Black Imperial Aquila, and Ushabti Bone pauldrons with Black trim. The company colour is painted on the right kneepad. A more modern bone colour from GW is 2019's Morghast Bone, which is somewhere between Zandri Dust and Ushabti Bone, and is for all intents and purposes a base paint version of Ushabti Bone. For Contrast paints, you're probably looking at Flesh Tearers Red armour, a Black Templar aquilla, and Skeleton Horde pauldrons; Blood Angels Red may also work for the armour if you prefer.

[[File:Battle-Ready Blood Ravens.png|230px|thumb|left|'Battle-Ready' scheme for the Blood Ravens.]]
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4nCScpgDhA Warhammer TV] shows them being painted similarly, although the Ushabti Bone pauldrons are now Zandri Dust (partially because Ushabti Bone is a layer paint, and painting it on top of a non-Zandri Dust undercoat is a pain in the ass). Forge World (on their Gabriel Angelos page) alongside some newer WTV videos suggest Mephiston Red with 100% Carroburg Crimson shade instead, which is almost the same as Khorne Red with a more gradual shading. Paul Norton from the GW Heavy Metal Team [https://twitter.com/ajuntapaulpal/status/876099214513770496?lang=en painted a Primaris Lieutenant] and used a 50/50 mix of Mephiston Red and Rhinox Hide, for those that prefer the darker red of their vidya appearance and aren't shy about mixing paints.

What isn't covered in any detail is how, exactly, Sergeants / Veterans / Veteran Sergeant / Lieutenants are handled. In typical Codex chapters these are handled by Red / White / Red + White Stripe / White Stripe + Red Stripe, but this falls apart when the armour colour is red to begin with, and the video game dodged the issue by not giving any officers helmets and only including terminators as Veterans. Paul Norton's Primaris Lieutenant (above) used a bone coloured helmet with a black stripe, which implies: Sergeant: Black, Vet: Bone, Vet Sergeant: Black with Bone Stripes, Lieutenant: Bone with Black Stripes or Red with Black stripe and bone inner stripe.

Rik Turner's army in the 2019 White Dwarf article on Blood Ravens, on the other hand, had a Sergeant with a bone helm, and a Primaris Ancient + Lieutenant with a black helmet and bone face mask -- with the Aquilla being bone instead of black, and the kneepads not painted in any longer. The Captain seems to have a gold helmet, as well. Possibly, they are gifts.

==The Hats==
The dust settled and the Ork horde lay dead at her feet. But with such a victory came sacrifice. The good General lay dead, his final words asking "Who wants to live FOREVEEER?" (Seeing as he's Freddie Fuckin Mercury in Space) with a wry smile on his face. The Imperial Guard had either died to a man or retreated when the Commissar LORD fell in battle. But it did not matter, her hat and her popped collar would hide any tears that she may have shed for them.

And then suddenly, there was a thumping. It couldn't be! She had bombed the area! She had drowned the orks in the bodies of the devoted guardsmen! She had evaporated the green tide with faith and fire! And yet... he still stomped through the ashes.

"ALRITE YA SQUISHY! I WANTZ DAT HAT!". He was as determined as he was arrogant, but even with his stubbornness, she could see something change in his face. Confusion had entered his small little brain. Perhaps it was because he was shocked that naught but a "pitiful" human could stand tall against the full force of a WAAAGGHHH. What was more amusing was that the Warboss had lost his patented pirate hat. She reached for her own hat, to tip it in torment at the Ork's incompetence... only to find nothing but hair in it's place. "WHERE IZ IT!? WHERE'Z DA HAT?!" the Ork roared in fury before noticing his own unprotected head. Shock turned to anger as both reached the same conclusion.

"DIOMEDES!" She screamed in unison to the Ork's own war-cries for "DEM'Z BLUDY MAGPIES HEADZ!". The eternal war made for some strange alliances, but none as strange as the Inquisitor and the Warboss hunting down the Thieves of Thieves, in retribution for their loss.

Diomedes sat with his new pirate hat. He thought it fitting for his position in a Chapter as renowned as his for "acquiring" gifts.
"We Shahl Coll this maneuvah Stehl Stehl!" - The Ancient announced, as he disregarded his tattered old helmet for the Witch Hunter's headpiece.

==Famous Blud Rehvens==
[[File:60177 md-Blood Ravens, Space Marines, Tactical Squad.JPG|300px|thumb|right|A squad of ravens out on the hunt for loot.]]
*Chapter Master [[Gabriel Angelos]] - Original Badass and current Chapter Master of the Blud Rehvens, at least in the SM and IG endings of Retribution (the SM ending is canon, but he dies in every other ending). He is the first Blood Raven Chapter Master in recorded history to not at the same time be the Chief Librarian, probably because they finally realized that having a Chief Librarian/Chapter Master is a Bad Idea™. Gabe was the first Blood Raven character we were ever introduced to and has the most fully-formed character of anyone else. Known for his catch phrase "Walk softly and carry a big gun", which translates to "Steal the biggest thing and don't get noticed". He sentenced his own homeworld of Cyrene to [[Exterminatus]] after discovering extensively deep [[heresy]] on it (which he's still hurting over) and accidentally set the events of most of the series in motion by destroying a daemonic artefact known as the Maledictum and thus setting a Greater Daemon of Khorne loose. He still did his damnedest to make up for it and succeeded.
**Comes back in Dawn of War III wearing an impressive looking suit of Tartaros Terminator Armour, as well as making ridiculous [[C.S. Goto|front 360 flips in it]].
*Chief Librarian Azariah Vidya (get it? cuz they are in a vidya gaem?) - Led the chapter soon after their founding in a campaign against Alpha Legion (who have slain their Chapter Master) with most of the 1st Company and most of their previous command structure. Vidya made use of some kind of [[Creed|Tactical Genius]], and his already large experience battling Chaos forces, made him naturally "understand" where the enemy was, so that his Rehvens perfectly striked where needed. He essentially found the "I WIN" button for that campaign and pressed it while engaging his inner troll-face. Vidya was hinted to actually be 'Arvida', a 'Corvidae' or seer, from the Thousand Sons Legion before GW decided to have Arvida merge with a shard of Magnus to become a being called Janus, later the first Supreme Grand Master of the [[Grey Knights]] (although this still doesn't rule him out as there is 5,000 years between when Janus/Arvida reappears on the galactic scene, and the appearance of Vidya. Not to mention how the Blood Ravens are able to field Grey Knights as troops without being mindwiped in the process).
*[[Isador Akios]] - Gabe's Librarian buddy. Was successfully tempted by [[Sindri Myr|Ssssiiiiindriiiiii]] into betraying the Blood Ravens, and was eventually killed by Gabe himself for that heresy (thus also enabling Gabe to spout an awesome one-liner while pulling the trigger).
*Captain [[Davian Thule|Davian Thule]] - The only force commander to get 2 sexy voices in both games he appears in.....well that was until he got ripped by a [[Tyranid]] Warrior and interred into a Dreadnought, where he sounds just as scary as any near-psychotic Dread. Gets rekt by Eliphas in the first Chaos mission in Retribution, though. Way to punch the players in the gut, Relic.... We like to pretend that the Venerable Dreadnought honour guard in Retribution is Davian Thule, to soothe our deep emotional trauma. While the Space Marine ending to Retribution is canon, his character is never really addressed after Chaos Rising, other than the aforementioned humiliating annihilation, and could well be dead. It is still hinted that he and the 4th company fought during the 13th Black Crusade.
*Captain [[Indrick Boreale|Indrick Baldeale]] - A master of [[meme|STEEL REHN]]. He is quite dead at the moment. Unlike Davian though, nobody is in the least broken down about him. It is suggested that he was promoted too early and put into a campaign way above his current pay grade to get most of the loyal Blud Rahvens killed as a ploy by Kyras.
*[[Blood Ravens Force Commander|Force Commander Hair Gel]] - Though he is given the name Aramus in a [[C.S.Goto|novel]], the game and the novels contradict each other so we'll never know what is what. Usually called Force Commander Vanilla Ice or Hair Gel for his hair-esy, he's also the youngest Blood Raven Force Commander ever. In Retribution, he's mentioned in the "Hammer of the Nameless" wargear, stating that the hammer went missing after he was branded renegade by Kyras. It is slightly possible that Vanilla Ice might return in the series one day since it's never implied that he was executed by Gabe or defected to the Black Legion. Retribution hints that the "slightly tainted" ending of Chaos Rising is canon (ending #3 out of '''five''' possible endings), and in that ending he was sent to the Eye of Terror on a 100 year penitent crusade. Dialogue indicates that Thaddeus was sent along with Hair Gel.
*[[Avitus]] - A Devastator Sergeant, who's so angry that he hates everything. On top of that hate list are Imperial Guardsmen; when he was a regular human they were jerks who oppressed his neighbourhood, and on Kronus he lost several battle brothers to the Guardsmen that stood against the Blood Ravens' cleaning up their Chapter's dark secret. Is an all-around badass who can fire plasma cannons and heavy bolters without needing to set up, given the proper upgrades. Has the same voice as the unknown heretic in Chaos Rising. In Retribution, he is stated to canonically be the heretic (who betrays the player and joins Eliphas' Black Legion warband) in the player's forces during Chaos Rising, as if him being fucking angry all the time wasn't enough of a dead-giveaway. He then gets killed by his ex-BFF Tarkus later on.
*[[Cyrus|Cyrus/Spike Spiegel/also Wolverine]] - A Scout Sergeant, who's so grimdark that he hates everything. He's also voiced by [[Steve Blum]], which makes him awesome. Cyrus literally hates everything, short of the [[Emprah]], and constantly bitches about how fucked up everything is during every briefing in the game. The whole "Spike Spiegel/Wolverine" name comes from his rather prolific VA's most famous characters, one from the anime Cowboy Bebop, the other from the X-Men cartoons and assorted games. Prefers to wear scout armour instead of tactical armour to show off he's that badass. He served in the Death Watch, explaining why he knows so much about the Tyranids.
*[[Jonah Orion]] - Gabe's new Librarian buddy after Isador got executed on Tartarus. He played a rousing game of mindfuck with the Tyranid Hivemind to allow Angelos' fleet to enter the system during the first DoWII. He won in the end, the only remaining sane & alive Librarian on Gabe's ship. And he becomes playable in Chaos Rising (and had the coolest corruption ending). Died in all endings of Retribution at the hands of DOM-Kyras. He's also the first confirmed black Space Marine who isn't from the [[Salamanders]]. Later turned out to be not quite dead, and appears as the new Chief Librarian in Dawn of War 3.
*[[Martellus]] - A [[Techmarine]], also voiced by [[Steve Blum]]. His job is to inform you of bad news all the time while chilling on the strike cruiser. Survived getting his Thunderhawk shot down and stranded on Typhon for months, canonically wasn't the traitor in Chaos Rising, and became a playable character in DoWII: Retribution. If he becomes a traitor due to the player's use of artefacts, he will attack you in a Chaos Predator, fucking your shit up. (Despite not being the canonical traitor, he is nonetheless selected as the default traitor if none of the squads have been corrupted.)
*[[Tarkus]] - A Tactical squad Sergeant, who is bald and also the Ancient in Retribution. Noted for being surprisingly kind-hearted and dutiful for a Marine, Tarkus ever takes the role of a mentor and is a strict adherent to the Codex Astartes. Unusual in that if he falls to Chaos through artefacts, he does so with the express intention of using the daemonic weaponry to fuck over the Black Legion and Eliphas and bring Kyras to justice by his own hands. If turned to Chaos, he attacks with a [[Awesome|daemonically possessed bolter]] that fucks things up with retardedly strong bolts of warpfire.
*[[Thaddeus]] - An Assault Marine Sergeant, the youngest and least grimdark of the gang. Is also a hair-etic and unsurprisingly joined Force Commander Hair Gel on his heresy during Chaos Rising. Canonically gets sent away on the penitent crusade alongside Commander Hair Gel after Chaos Rising, explaining his absence in Retribution.
*[[Apollo Diomedes|Captain Apollo Diomedes]]- Captain of the veteran First Company and Honour Guard, and said to be the "greatest" warrior of the Blood Ravens history. He used to be a helmet-wearing jerkass of awesomeness until Retribution, where he is revealed to be bald. As such, this fa/tg/uy dubs him Abaldo Diomedes. Looks (and sounds) suspiciously like Indrick Boreale... "BRRUUUHVVAA I AM HITTT!" "IT IS DE BEEEIHNNNNBLEEEEHD!" As second in command to Kyras, he is suitably ashamed when the Chapter Master is revealed to have been a traitor for centuries. He steps down as First Captain and takes up the mantle of Chaplain to pay amends.
*[[Azariah Kyras]] - A [[skub|Space Marine Librarian who falls to Chaos and dedicates himself to Khorne]]. In his early days he was stuck in a Spacey Hulk with a couple of marines, and after fighting in it for Emperor knows how long, he was corrupted by the Nurgle demon Ulkair. Was also Chapter Master of the Blood Ravens up until Retribution. Has a kickass VA ("Let the galaxy BURN!"). He looks like he hasn't slept since the time of the Ancient Sumerians (just look at those eye rings, someone give this man a tempur-pedic and some clonodine). He also happens to be one of the few psykers to gain the favour of Khorne in the history of 40k (apparently good enough to be granted daemonhood on top of all that too). This is largely due him kicking Ulkair to the curb after he got owned by Commander Hair Gel, and decided to cater to the daemon of Khorne Gabriel released.
*Moriah - Chapter Master and Chief Librarian that was before Kyras. Was known as the greatest and most powerful Blood Raven psyker to ever appear in the Chapter after Azariah Vidya. Fought [[Ulkair]] in a epic fight on planet Aurelia, psionically chained him to the planet and all before it got gobbled by the Warp. Did not survive the fight in the end. During the campaign you can get items that used to be wielded by him.
*Apothecary Galan - A traitor apothecary with a great voice, possessed by a daemon of Nurgle, trying to corrupt Abaldo Diomedes. Was part of the expedition that found Kyras aboard the Judgment of Carrion. Notable for bucking the "apothecaries aren't badass"-trend by carrying a chainsword that hits like a goddamn truck and having a bodyguard of assault terminators. If defeated in battle in Chaos Rising (optional objective), the daemon gets exorcised, and the actually repentant Galan (who was possessed against his will) gives you information that saves Diomedes' life... and then dies. Since Diomedes is alive in Retribution, that means canonically, Galan is dead.
*Apothecary Gordian - A friendly apothecary attached to Hair Gel's command in the first DoWII who's responsible for patching up, curing and interring Davian Thule into a Dreadnought after a [[Tyranid Warrior]] [[rape|had its way with him]]. Also cooked up the bio-toxin that the team used to fuck up the splinter fleet and provides support from the Strike Cruiser during the final battle, but is killed when the Strike Cruiser gets shot down. It's a pity that he gets virtually no screen time since his few appearances mark him as a useful and generally cool character.
*Scout Sergeant Priam - Got all his scouts kidnapped by a Sorcerer on Calderis, with the rest of them holed up in shitty clay structures against Chaos Dreadnoughts, Havocs, and missile-carrying Plague Marines. Suffice to say, if Hairgel doesn't deploy every shred of tactical genius he has, everyone gets [[rape|properly fucked.]]
*Sergeant <s>Lysandros</s> MEHTULBAWKSES - shows up on Calderis to destroy an empty town in the ass end of nowhere on orders of Kyras. Notable for being the eternal nemesis of [[Firaeveus Carron]] by spamming not just Rhinos, but Razorbacks. Tells Diomedes (the player) to fuck off and stop being a buzzkilling asshole. The player then proceeds to kill him. Obviously.
*Dreadnought - A random hero of the chapter. The Blood Ravens must have a bunch, since they're more spammable than Predators. Most players pretend (in vain) that the Venerable version you can sub out Martellus for in Retribution is Thule, and weep quietly as it instagibs infantry in the background with assault cannon sweeps.
*Unnamed Traitor - Siding with Kyras and Chaos, he shows up in the later stages of Retribution, becoming the greatest exemplar of the thieving might of the chapter by stealing a Land Raider Redeemer from the Blood Ravens themselves. Is also a teamkilling fucktard who fires off the Land Raider's frag assault launchers directly into a huge mass of cultists (on the same side as him) worshiping Khorne, resulting in ludicrous gibs.
*Squad [[Beakie|Corvus]] Marines - Shows up in Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine during the Chaos Invasion. Noticing a group of Black Templars travelling to join the Liberation Fleet heading for Forge World Graia, Squad Corvus attached themselves to the strike force in order to "acquire" more gifts for the chapter (specifically, more Titans). They show up during the Chaos invasion and kick major ass, despite there being only like four of them. Just goes to show how fucking strong Blood Raven plot armor is... or how strong their dedication to "acquire" relics for their chapter can be.
*Rhamah - [[C.S. Goto|The blackest of Irish lepers]] graced us with this librarian, who got pulled into the warp while fighting off a Gellar field breach on the Litany of Fury. He ended up on a [[Harlequin]] library planet with amnesia, where he met [[Ahzek Ahriman]]. Getting convinced that they were battle brothers, he wandered around the library while [[Gabriel Angelos]] and company were looking for him. The moment Rhamah was found, he got a [[Ferrus Manus|viking haircut]] courtesy of a space elf clown's power sword. The moral of the story is to avoid heresy. And also fuck C.S. Goto.
*Jensus Natorian - In the Deathwatch Overkill boxed game, Jensus is the librarian in Kill Team Cassius. Back when Jensus was a regular old human, his parents got killed by orks. That made Jensus angry. [[Angry Marines|Really REALLY angry]]. He raged so hard he developed psychic powers, [[Rip and tear|started tearing hordes of orks into hamburger with his bare hands]], and made Khorne himself raise his fiery eyebrows and say “…{{BLAM|DAMN}}.” So yeah, he kinda went <s>super saiyan</s> Angry Librarian. After Jensus ran out of greenskins to render down to their component parts, he was right about to be taken by the Black Ships when a chap by the name of Inquisitor Belicor decided that Jensus’ rage could be put to better use, shipped him off to the Blood Ravens, and later oversaw his induction into the Deathwatch, where his psychic contributions are less about mind bullets and more about mind [[RIP AND TEAR]]. Jensus also makes the Blood Ravens the only non-First Founding Chapter represented in the Deathwatch Overkill box, much to the disappointment of Black Templar players.
*Captain Atanaxis - 7th Company Captain, received the Primaris reinforcements from Custodes Shield Captain Pertinax.
*Captain Yriel Rikarius - M37 2nd Company Captain, helped oversee the development of the Razorback Rikarius which is named in his honor. All thanks to his connections with Magos M'Lell of Mars.
===Fan Made===
*Captain Arthrus Godfrey - The Captain of 4th Company that fought Hivefleet Behemoth with Inquisitor Kryptman in the series made by [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Eliphas the Inheritor.]] Scares the crap out of the Death Watch members who know that the Blud Rehvens are thieving bastards.

==The Lazy Fuckwits of 4th Company==
The Blood Ravens 4th Company is recognized as the laziest sons of bitches in the entire goddamn sector. For all of Dawn of War 2, these bastards sat around on Calderis, only to show up when [[Davian Thule]] gets KO'd by a Tyranid ''Warrior''. Their battle strategy basically involves "let the Force Commander do all the work". So only about twenty marines and the rest of the Blood Raven scouts actually do shit, while the rest of these fat bastards sit around on Calderis getting chewed up by gribblies. Where the fuck are they when the Force Commander needs them!? Probably "discovering and obtaining" more artefacts.

The Force Commander never actually needs them on the battlefield though: he, Thule, Tarkus, Cyrus, and/or Jonah alone are perfectly capable of blasting the stuffing from Cannon Fodder, Tyrants and Fatty Daemon Princess (if they are properly equipped and employing hit-run-cheat-hit tactic). Friendly Cannon Fodder is useless in hard battles anyway. Better let them loot friends and foes.

If you wanted to split hairs, you could argue that the rest of the 4th Company is the reinforcements you call in when your squads get KO'd and you run back to a satellite dish/strategic point to heal up. This begs the question to why they don't just deploy full-sized squads to begin with and overwhelm the enemy from the start.

The rest of the company are probably deployed to other theatres, performing side objectives on the same planet, presumably launched from the Strike Cruiser Armageddon/Retribution's thunderhawk gunships and minimizing the number of reinforcements that jump in front of Thule's assault cannon or Multimelta or getting too close to Tarkus using his face as an orbital strike beacon because he gives zero fucks about being hit with lance batteries.

==Bloody Magpies==
[[File:Magpie Missle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Blood Ravens "acquiring" a master-crafted artillery shell from a Forgeworld. The next day, the Magos simply said: ''"THEY TOOK WHAT?!"'' after hearing the report that their entire artillery battery was reported missing.]]
[[File:Warhammer_40k_blood_ravens_magpies_comic_bolt_down_everything_1335786405659.jpg|200px|left|thumb| It’s too late brother captain, they’ve taken the vault And everything in it, including the bolts. [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tKIKY0CuAKo NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!]]]

Throughout the Dawn of War II trilogy, the Blood Ravens have numerous opportunities to receive wargear for them to use in battle. When you read the flavor text, a good number of them are obtained through vague circumstances or described as "gifts", either implying that they were salvaged from the dead who aren't Blood Ravens or were downright stolen from both loyal and traitor marine chapters and other Imperial organizations. How they got away with that is something only the Emperor would know. Seeing as their battle gear includes (and is not limited to) scraps from Ultramarines, Space Wolves, Imperial Fists, Salamanders, Dark Angels, Iron Snakes, Blood Angels, Black Templars, Iron Hands, Grey Knights, even the Adeptus Custodes and at least one Primarch, the Emperor probably is the only one that could know.

''Why'' they do this is a much more obvious matter, and doesn't even need old memes to justify it: they are not an official chapter and must make do with what they find. In case you haven't noticed thus far: they are (One of several chapters) named after an intelligent bird known for feasting on the dead, which makes them value the spoils of war more than any other chapter. In addition, they are always on the move, implying heavily that they are the Space Gypsies of the Warhammer 40k. This makes further sense when you consider that "Gypsies" is derived from "Egyptian", and the Thousand Sons are Egyptian-themed (although gypsies are actually ethnically Indian). Maybe the White Scars like them, but they only hang out with their successors anyway.

Even before Dawn Of War II, they already got their talons on wargear from other Chapters. Brother-Captain [[Indrick Boreale|Indrick Baldeale]] could get "Rogal's Fist" as a replacement for his chainsword. A mace that is rumored to have been made by Rogal Dorn himself to lay waste to foes that stand before it. How it ended up in the hands of the Blood Raven's instead of being locked up somewhere in the Imperial Fist's Phalanx because it was (supposedly) made by their Primarch is a mystery. A small taste or preview to the insane kleptomania that we see in Dawn of War II before we even knew it.

So [[Bjorn_the_Fell_Handed#Bjorn.27s_Happy_End|how will this end?]] I don't know...But I'm pretty sure they are a textbook case of mass kleptomania, which could be explained as an [[Kender|unnoticed gene-seed corruption]] (because when you're checking for thing like growing the wrong number of limbs, a compulsion to steal is going to be a lot less visible).

Of course, will you question the Omnissiah and the Machine Cult when it comes to handling artifacts?

They’ve even started to steal vehicles now. With them “Acquiring” an assortment of [[Nephilim Jetfighter|Nephilim Fighters]] from ravenwing. Of course, they’re being surprisingly generous with them, considering the second batch they acquired. Is due to br given to the [[Hawk Lords]].

<gallery>
File:StealingBastards.jpeg| We came here to do two things: purge heretics and stehl property, and we already stole all your property, so let’s do this.
File:BloodRavensTacticals.jpg|This official artwork's concept was in fact stolen from a depiction of [[Imperial Fists|the VII Legion]] on page 15 in [[Index Astartes]] II.
Image:Baalpistol.png|Also known as the Bloody Magpies.
File:BloodRavensBook.jpeg| A Blood Raven, 'protecting' a first edition crisp condition Codex Astartes from the Ultrasmurfs first company...
File:BA Flamer.jpg|When the Bloody Magpies were victimizing the Blood Angels, they didn't just settle for the Pistol of Baal.
Image:Inquisitorpistol.png|Weight on the word "discovered".
File:DoomEagle.jpg|This is primarily because the Doom Eagles didn't think to look at their own Chapter armoury.
File:Benediction.jpg|Even the Inquisition is not safe.
File:Custodes bolter.jpg|HOW THE FUCK DO YOU STEAL CUSTODES EQUIPMENT?! They could have had it "gifted" from the Deathwatch. [[Derp|But that means somebody was stupid enough to promote a Blood Raven to a Watch or Forge Master in the first place.]]
File:Jump Pack.jpg|Even the lost and dead are not safe.
File:Heretical Shotgun.jpg|Even the ruinous powers are not safe.
File:Alpha legion armor.jpg|When we said Chaos wasn't safe, we weren't kidding.
File:Termi tele.jpg|Techmarines from different chapters swear to the Emperor that they've seen this before in another chapter's armoury.
File:Artificer termi.jpg|Refusal is futile.
File:Nova Termi.jpg|The Novamarines were puzzled to see the Terminator armour gone from their honored battle brother's body after he fell against the Tau... 30 seconds later when they glanced aside.
Image:evenyoumartellus.png|Curiously, the Techpriests of Mars refused to recruit any more potential Techmarines from the Blood Ravens after Martellus' release.
Image:bloodmagpies.png|Spoiler: They don't.
File:Snakes banner.jpg|Emphasis on "recovered".
File:CustodesArmor.jpg|This really puts the achievements of all other chapters to shame.
File:Forgebreaker.png|Not even the Primarchs are safe.
File:SkarbrandMaul.jpg|[[Skarbrand|Skarbrand’s]] weapon is pretty cool too, I guess.
File:BTThunderHammer.jpg|If you steal, might as well do it from the best.
File:Ancient Bolter.gif|Even [[Matthew_Ward| Matt Ward's]] beloved [[Ultramarines|Ultrasmurfs]] aren't safe...
File:GKArmor.jpg| And neither are his other beloved [[Grey_Knights|Special Snowflakes]].
File:Dawn_of_stubbornness.png| Even the fan chapters have witnessed this.
File:Blood_Raven_1.JPG|"[[Roboute_Guilliman|Lord Commander]], a batch of [[Primaris Marines]] went missing just after the visit of-" "I know."
File:PrimarisAngelos.png|Well, we know where at least some of that missing Primaris geneseed went...
File:20180902093627 1.jpg|Not even the xenos are safe...no, really. How do you steal a Wraithlord?
File:Dd6.gif|A Blood Raven Space Marine in their natural habitat.
File:Blood Ravens Shao Kahn.jpg|Shao Kahn should have lurked moar.
File:Blood Ravens Meme.png|Memes were never save.
File:un-steal-able text.png
</gallery>

===Rumours===
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3uEf8sJt1s&feature=g-all-lik A Blood Raven marine sneaking off with an Ultramarine Land Raider with incomprehensible stealth.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4om7AuID6BY&feature=related It is worse than we imagined.] [[heresy|Also note Boreale's face while holding the Eldar]]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Enua52rXfmQ Much worse.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tavp0vrBOLA So bad, they would steal from each other (Though why would they want THAT particular relic is anybody's guess).]
*Stole not one, but two whole [[Primarch]]s before they were even found.

==Fanboy Ravens==
The Blood Ravens have also been known for their excessively fangirl-esque behavior, including forging weapons for other chapters and declaring them relics after the receiving chapter rejected them, and naming wargear after off-hand comments by famous chapters, though by now they themselves are a very famous chapter.

Alternatively, they may just enjoy trolling the hell out of other chapters. For a chapter that gives all of zero fucks about slaughtering the Sisters of Battle and Imperial Guard, it could really go either way. Either this, or Relic are massive trolls themselves and all of the Space Gypsy stuff is [[Just as planned|just as planned]].

An alternative alternative is that Tzeentch is actually seeing how much he has to piss off other chapters in the Blood Ravens name in order to get them to turn completely traitor. He may even be pretending to be Khorne, since that's the only god anyone is apparently willing to worship anymore. Hey, it's better than being completely forgotten like a certain Slaanesh...

A third alternative is that, given how many relics they <s>steal</s> acquire, they may be trying to come to good terms with other chapters by spreading their loot around. That said, it is also entirely possible that it serves as a way of fencing stolen goods: take stuff, disguise true origins, and then offer the things back to their original owners with the certainty that they will reject it as an inferior copy of something they think they still have in their armoury.

<gallery>
Image:trinkets.jpg|Ragnar Blackmane was suppose to be given a Power Axe by the Blood Raven artificers. He told them to screw off. <s>Probably lost his wolf mantle afterwards too</s>
File:Gift.jpg|Said Power Axe.
File:Fist's Hammer.jpg|[[Darnath Lysander]] is not amused.
File:Russ Axe.jpg|The Space Wolves can't resist trolling the Blood Ravens. They were less amused when they discovered a similar axe disappeared from their arsenal.
File:DA Plasma gun.jpg|[[Troll|Problem]], [[Dark Angels]]?
File:AzraelsSecond.png|"He mad?" "Pretty sure he mad."
</gallery>

== Daily Rituals ==
04:00 - Rousing from slumber. The Ravens get up from their beds, which they got as a "gift".

05:00 - Morning Prayer. The Blood Ravens pray to the Emperor to grant them the right to "borrow" chaos, xenos and Imperial relics.

06:00 - Morning Firing Rites. The Blood Ravens hone their skills with the ammunition "graciously gifted" by fellow Astartes chapters.

07:00 - Battle Practice. The Blood Ravens practice heists and tactical pick pocketing on Imperial worlds.

11:00 - Psychic checkup. The Blood Ravens do their daily psychic checkup on who can be a Librarian that will help the Blood Ravens locate the best loot to 'borrow' from.

12:00 - Midday Prayer. The Blood Ravens pray to the Emperor for fortune for more "gifts". The chapter's chapels has grown noticeably more gaudy.

13:00 - Midday Meal. The Blood Ravens eat some food they got from other chapters or civilians. As such, food varies daily.

13:15 - Tactical Indoctrination. Blood Ravens are informed on which items to "borrow". Anything from a crate of boltguns to a [[Land Raider]] can and will be subjected to involuntary renting.

15:00 - "Battle" Practice. The Blood Ravens now put their practice session to the test on any number of worlds. It is rumoured that they can "borrow" anywhere from an entire Armoury World's worth of weapons, to a Paradise World's worth of thrones, in a single night of galactic-wide thievery.

20:00 - Evening Prayer. The Blood Ravens thank the Emperor for their new-found "gifts". Bit by bit, the chapter's chapels strangely start to resemble the intricate chapels found only on the richest of Cardinal Worlds.

21:00 - Evening Meal. A feast is provided by the Chapter serfs, who got them as "presents".

21:45 - Night Firing Exercises. The Blood Ravens practice formations in the dark to further hone in their "skills". Any marine who end up trying to steal another Blood Raven's wargear for "Extra ammunition" is disciplined.

23:00 - Maintenance Rituals. The marines maintain their equipment. The techmarines and chaplains busy themselves removing any incriminating marks and icons on their new-found "gifts". It is also at this time every librarian on the fleet monastery are led by Chief Librarian (Jonah Orion) as well as their Chapter Master (Gabriel Angelos) to skim through every documents, scrolls, and data that was "gifted" today for the clues about their [[primarch|father]]. If lucky, librarian may find hints about new "gifts" which they will then inform higher up to send the marines acquired the gifts, tomorrow.

00:00 - Rest Period. The Ravens return to 'their' beds.

==The (Incomplete) Loot List==
* [http://lparchive.org/Dawn-of-War-II/Update%2042/ Many of the weapons and armour the Magpies have been "gifted"]
* [http://lparchive.org/Dawn-of-War-II/Update%2043/ More items. Curiously, none of them are gifts.]
* The [[Squats]].
** Have since breached containment and escaped, reforming into the Leagues of Votann.
* The hands of the [[Iron Hands]].
* [[Matt Ward]]’s dignity.
* The Emperor's discarded toilet paper.
* All decent rules for playing a [[carnifex]].
* Common sense.
* [[Trazyn the Infinite]]'s coffee cup.
* Female Orcs.
* A pair of imperial [[titans]] (from Graia).
* Cawl's prototype [[Female Space Marines]].
* A clean [[Luke]].
* The manliness in [[Cato Sicarius]].
* Trazyn's outfit during first contact.
* [[Rogal Dorn]].
* 5 of the 9 Artifacts of [[Vulkan]] (Trazyn still has the other 4... the chapter is trying to change that)
** Vulkan himself (Trayzn had him apparently)
*** Actually since Cunto Shitarius got all the artifacts back [[TTS|'''VULKAN LIVES''']]!
* [[Ahzek Ahriman]]'s rub'''r'''ik’s cube.
* Ahzek Ahriman's [[Rubric Marines|other rubik’s cube]]
* [[Magnus The Red]]'s right eye (from [[Tzeench]])
* [[Slaanesh]]'s ovaries (although he/she/it immediately grew five more pairs).
* [[Corvus Corax]].
* [[Kaldor Draigo]]'s sanity.
* The [[White Scars]].
* [[Leman Russ]].
* [[/co/|Plankton’s Lawn Mower]]
* Every single OOP model.
* [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|The Emperor's Text-to-Speech Device]]
* [[Eldar]] and Tyranids plastic model sets.
** The Harlequins managed to take some of the Eldar ones back.
* Various NFTs, proving them fungible in the process
* Any and all (actually effective) Tau melee weapons the Earth Caste develops, ensuring their main weakness remains.

{{Marines-Official}}

[[Category:Thousand Sons]]

Squat

2023-05-09T23:11:34Z

2600:387:9:3:0:0:0:41: link to necromunda squats

{{Oldschool}}
{{Awesome}}
[[File:DSC02968.jpg|450px|right|thumb|A space dorf. [[Dwarf Fortress|Lives like one. Dies like one.]]]]
{{Topquote|THE SQUATS LIVE! <nowiki>*</nowiki>'''STOMP! STOMP!'''<nowiki>*</nowiki> SQUATS LIVE! <nowiki>*</nowiki>'''STOMP! STOMP!'''<nowiki>*</nowiki>|The Motto that all Squat players react with after seeing the <s>[[Kharadron Overlords|Kharadron Overlords]]</s> [[Ironhead_Squat_Prospectors|Ironhead Squat Prospectors]] then [[Leagues of Votann]] in <s>[[Age of Sigmar]]</s> [[Necromunda]] & [[Warhammer 40,000|mainline 40k]]}}
{{Topquote|I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole. Diggy, diggy hole, diggy, diggy hole|an ancient Terran song created by humans who were called The Yogscast in M3.}}
{{Topquote| ROCK. AND. STOOOOOONE!|Squat battlecry belonging to the [[Ironhead Squat Prospectors|mining brotherhood]] known as [[Deep Rock Galactic]].}}

You can't spell Imperial without Imp. If you spell them both correctly.

A '''Squat''' (Sometimes called [[Demiurg]], Grome, Kreg, Gnostari or, if you're an [[Eldar]], a Heliosi Ancient) is a space [[dwarf|Dorf]] (''Homo sapiens rotundus''). They <s>used to exist</s> have returned to [[Warhammer 40,000]] (THEY’RE FUCKING BACK BABY!) (with a planned Codex mentioned in the ''Second Edition'' Codex: Imperial Guard); in fluff, their worlds supplemented the capabilities of [[Forge World]]s, and were independent of the technology-worship of the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]]. As such, they also retained their sovereignty. For some reason, their aesthetic also included a heavy dose of 1970's-80's American "outlaw" biker-club subculture. We suppose this is because, as we all know, GW loves to mish and mash, but above all, because it is [[Awesome|muhfuggin badass]].

"Squat" is also sometimes used as a verb by fans of Warhammer 40k. This refers to the removal of the Squats from both the game and the [[fluff]] behind it; in particular, some people believe that other armies will be "squatted" from 40k, which is to say, their model line will be removed and they will no longer be [[Zoats|playable]] in 40k. There have been cries of "they're getting squatted!" for basically every army that wasn't updated within two years, including, but not limited to, [[Dark Eldar]], [[Necrons]], [[Sisters of Battle]], and [[Black Templars]] (we're also pretty confident that if [[Robin Cruddace| a Certain Imperial Guard player]] had the power to he would squat the [[Tyranid|Space bugs]] in an instant, he certainly tried during 6th Edition - and now he's back again in 8th Ed. ''Theres also rumors of this in 9th edition with talk of Tyranids attempting to Siege Terra with mentions of them being close to the solar system in the latest psychic awakening!'' ) So far, this has mostly been proven false; both Dark Eldar and Necrons got new codices, and Sisters were released in plastic in 2019. Meanwhile, the Black Templars have been rolled up into the Space Marines, but, importantly, ''they still exist.'' Of the Chapters included, Templars are easily the most divergent, and although some of the fluff has been retconned, it was usually in a fairly logical way (how do you get around if you hate [[Astropath]]s and [[Navigator]]s, anyway?). As such, all those whining "they're getting squatted!" are pretty silly, and you're probably hearing them on [[Warseer]].

HOWEVER...

In Age of Sigmar, the entire [[Tomb Kings]] faction was squatted, followed by the [[Bretonnia]] faction, with the entire model ranges being moved to the "Last Chance to Buy" section. Cue wailing and gnashing of teeth. ......And then GW added points for them in the GHB 2019 release, so you can now at least play them without your opponent grumbling too loudly. As of mid-2019, the [[High Elves (Warhammer)|High Elves]] also got the axe, next, [[Age_of_Sigmar/Tactics/Old/Death/Legions_of_Nagash|Legions of Nagash]], [[Chaos Dwarfs]], all replaced by their AoS versions.

Over in 40k, [[Eldar Corsairs]] and [[Death Korps of Krieg]] got a similar treatment during the transition to 8th Edition, with their entire model line going out of production and most of their army list getting killed off with it.
Check [[Warhammer Legends]] for some salvage.

BUT...

The [[Death Korps of Krieg]] received new and improved, plastic models with the release of Kill Team Octarius. That, combined with the slew of <s>event exclusive</s> Catachan characters, we could be seeing a complete refresh of the older guard ranges. But one thing's for sure: Krieg ain't getting Squatted.

Then The Eldar Corsairs got returned as a Killteam with some sick designs.... but that could only mean....

'''[https://youtu.be/FBFgZzYEr-8 HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK THEY'RE ACTUALLY BACK!]'''

==History==
[[Image:Squats.jpg|thumb|A page from the Tome of <s>[[Skub]]</s> [[Awesome]]]]
The [[Squats]] (Homo sapiens rotundus) were mentioned in the original "[[Warhammer_40,000:_Rogue_Trader|Rogue Trader]]" 1987 book and later received their full Army List in the articles published in [[White Dwarf]] number 111 in February 1989. The Army List was later collected with other articles in the softback bound "Compendium" (also known as "Red Book" or "Red Compendium") which was released in Summer/Fall of that same year (and actually were the last item of the Compendium, the original article having been published on WD mere months before). The army list was centered around the Warlord and its retinue which could be equipped either with ceremonial mesh or [[Carapace Armor|carapace armour]] or with Terminator-grade Exo-armour (which made the unit virtually unstoppable by anything save Daemons, Terminators, Eldar Avatar or Exarchs and the heaviest of weapons), it could field ten trooper squads (clan warriors) which could select ad-libitum heavy weapons paying a very limited cost for them and Engineers' Guild bikes (complete with some vaguely Hell's Angels style imagery in the First Edition book), sidecars and trikes which provided hit and run power due to swivel mounted heavy weaponry. Vehicles and Robots were also available at premium points cost (less than other human armies paid) due to the recognized technical savviness of the Squats, Adeptus Mechanicus envoys and Living Ancestor (venerable Squats who were literally millennia old) added more flavour to the troop choice.

===Squats in Epic===
[[Image:SquatArmy.jpg|thumb|right|They built giant guns to compensate for not having giant guns. Note also the [[Mole Mortar Team|Moles]] and Hellbore that GW forgot about around the same time.]]
[[Image:SquatCyclops.jpg|thumb|right|The Squats laugh at your pathetic Baneblade and obvious mediocrity in the trouser department.]]

While in 40K the Squats were roughly half an army, in [[Epic]] they really worked. As well as the biker companies you suddenly had access to an enormous supply of hardware with which the Squats would punish anyone who said they were compensating for something. These included [[Goliath Mega-Cannon|giant tracked mortars,]] [[Land Train|Land Trains,]] and massive tracked crawlers with Void Shields that were basically the Squat version of Titans; one, the [[Cyclops War Machine|Cyclops,]] was armed with what the modern fluff calls a Lance and could burn through multiple shields before hitting the target. Which is a little odd, because current fluff explains that the whole point of a ship's weapons batteries is to drop enemy shields so they can be finished off with lances (which are supposed to suck against void shields). Then again, the squats have always been more advanced. They had [[Overlord Armoured Airship|ironclad airships,]] [[Iron Eagle Gyrocopter|helicopters]] back when most Epic armies had no aircraft at all, and generally ruled.

===Chaos Squats===
{{Heresy}}
Think that Squats had it bad? Well, these guys are pretty much the Squats ''of'' the Squats. Just as Fantasy had its [[Chaos Dwarfs]], so too did Squats have their Chaotically-inclined counterparts (alas, without hats). While there were no real rules for them on the tabletop, miniatures were released, because this was still when Citadel put out miniatures for things that didn't necessarily have gaming rules. They were allied to [[Chaos Space Marines]] and maintained their equipment, including building Titans and [[Daemon Engine|Daemon Engines]], in a role later taken over by the [[Dark Mechanicus]]. Some Squats fell to chaos during the Horus Heresy and fought for Horus. They were banished to the Eye of Terror along with the Traitor Legions when Horus was defeated. Also, Squats who fall to Chaos are willing to fight as mercenaries for Orks and Eldar... for some reason. Congratulations, you've just read everything there is to know about Chaos Squats that was ever written.

===When suddenly...===
They were eaten by [[Tyranid]]s. It is popularly believed that [[Games Workshop]] sends out teams to assassinate, kidnap, or otherwise inconvenience anyone who dares mention them. One possibility is that [[Dwarf Fortress|the Squat nobles demanded that some impossible-to-acquire item be put in each of their rooms, and thus locked up the entire working class of Squats, and the whole race starved.]] Another theory is that [[Creed]] is [[Just as planned|using his tactical genius to hide them until the final showdown with Chaos.]] It's kinda likely that, what with their "We haz teknologeez!", being Dwarves, drinking, not being assholes, and generally not being depressing, [[Games Workshop]] decided they weren't [[grimdark]] enuff, and subsequently fed them to the Tyranids (who exist to eat Games Workshop's mistakes, obviously), and at the same time branding the mention of <censored for heresy> as [[heresy]]. Heresy - the perfect excuse to [[retcon]]!

Squats are now /tg/'s version of the Candleja [[meme]] I'll end that right there. Anyway since mentioning them gets [[Inquisition|GW to send death squads after you]] the two memes cancel one another out.

==== A rare case of GW being completely honest ====
[http://web.archive.org/web/20060129002420/http://forums.specialist-games.com/epic/forum_b/topic.asp?ARCHIVE=true&TOPIC_ID=2532&whichpage=3 This] is from 2004, back when honesty was A Thing, it seems:

''I know I shouldn't get drawn on this... but... can't... resist''

''Seriously, a couple of points just so you can have an informed debate based on the real reasons that Squats are no longer available. Be warned, it is going to be hard reading for people that like the Squat background.''

''First of all, Squats were *not* dropped because they were not selling well. There were then, and are now, plenty of other figure ranges that sell in the sort of % quantities that the Squats pulled down, especially when you look across all of the ranges produced by GW rather than just those for 40K.''

''No, the reason that the Squats were dropped was because the creatives in the Studio (people like me, Rick, Andy C, Gav etc) felt that we had failed to do the Dwarf 'archetype' justice in its 40K incarnation. From the name of the race (Squats - what *were* we thinking?!?!) through to the short bikers motif, we had managed to turn what was a proud and noble race in Warhammer and the other literary forms where the archetype exists, into a joke race in 40K. We only fully realized what we had done when we were working on the 2nd edition of 40K. Try as we might, we just couldn't work up much enthusiasm for the Squats. The mistake we made then (deeply regretted since) was to leave them in the background and the 'get you by' army list book that appeared. With hindsight, we should have dropped the Squats back then, and saved ourselves a lot of grief later on.''

''Anyway, the Squats made it into 2nd edition, and since we were doing army books for each of the races, we started to try and figure out what to do with them. Unfortunately we just couldn't figure out a way to update them and get them to work that we felt was good enough. The 'art' of working on an army as a designer is to find the thing that you think is cool and exciting about an army, and work it up into a strong theme. This 'muse' didn't strike any of us, and so, rather than bring out a second-rate product simply re-hashing the old background, we kept doing other army books instead, with stuff we did feel inspired by.''

''Now, while this was all going on for 40K, we were actually doing some rather good stuff for the Squats in Epic. On this scale there was a natural tendency to focus on the big 'hand-made' war machines the Squat artisans produced, and this created an army with a feel that was very different to the biker hordes in 40K. However, this tended to reinforce the problems we saw in the Squat background rather than alleviate them, underlining what we *should* have done with the Squats in 40K.''

''In the end (and it took years to really get to the roots of the problem) this led to a realisation that we were going to have to drop the Squats in their 'Squat' form from the 40K background. There was little point having a major race that we weren't willing to make an army book for, and their inclusion in the background meant that people kept asking us when we'd do a Squat Codex. Instead we decided that we'd write the Squats out of the background by saying that their [[Squat Homeworlds|Homeworlds]] had been devoured by a Tyranid Hivefleet. This would give us the option in the future to return to making a race based on the Squat archetype for 40K. This race was given the name of Demiurg, and a certain amount of preliminary work was done to get a 'feel' for what the race would be like. At present the only hint of the Demiurg in 40K is the Demiurg spaceship for BFG. However, we do have this race 'in our back pocket' as a possible new race for 40K, or an interesting character model in Inquisitor, or whatever. So far the Demiurg have lost out to other projects, and it may be that their time never actually comes, as they will have to win through on their merits, not simply because we once made some Squat models in the past. At present, I have to say that it is more likely that they *don't* make the cut than do, as there is a certain prejudice these days to simply taking races from Warhammer and cross them over to 40K like we did in the early days, so it may be that the Squats/Demiurg end up remaining a footnote in the history of the 40K galaxy. Only time will tell...''

''I'll finish off by saying that whatever we decide to do 'officially', there is nothing stopping players with Squat armies from using them, either in Epic or 40k for that matter. There is no GW 'rule' against using old Citadel Miniatures, as long as you use them with existing army lists and in a way that won't cause confusion for other players. I recommend taking a positive stand by saying "Have you seen these cool old models? They're called the Squats and GW used to make them back in the late eighties/early nineties. I love 'em, so I count them as Imperial Guard and use them with the current rules..." Put like this I can't imagine that anyone would stop you from using your army.''

''Best regards,''

''Jervis Johnson'' ''Head Fanatic ''

==== Some Context ====
[[File:Warhammer 40k squats DRW40k 04 by DaRealWurld40k.jpg|thumb|right|SILENCE, HERETIC! There is no tiny, little bearded man there! Nope! No Squats or tiny little bearded man here at all!]]

Note that all of the Squat material from the Rogue Trader era was written by [[Bryan Ansell|Bryan]], [[Nigel Stillman|Nigel]], and [[Graeme Davis]]. [[Jervis Johnson|Jervis]], [[Rick Priestley|Rick]], [[Andy Chambers|Andy]], et. al. never wrote anything new for the Squats in Warhammer 40,000. So their lack of enthusiasms wasn't because the fluff was objectively ''bad'' - it just wasn't ''theirs''.

The Squats Codex was explicitly mentioned in Codex Imperial Guard (1995), and implicitly mentioned from the first codex ever (Codex Space Wolves, 1993) and every Imperial codex up to and including Codex Angels of Death (1996), plus Codex Eldar (1994). The only Imperial codexes which did not mention Codex Squats were Codex Sisters of Battle and Codex Assassins - both from 1997, the last year of 2nd Edition and the point at which 3rd Edition would already have been well into development. So the decision to eliminate the Squats didn't actually happen until they had already decided to move to a whole new edition.

As this was the transition to the infamous Black Period of total and constant [[Grimdark]], perhaps it's for the best that the writers of the day didn't like them (or simply had no idea where to go so decided to nip it in the bud while fluff what [[TVTropes]] would term Early Installment Weirdness was being sorted out), so they didn't feel obligated to [[C.S. Goto|fuck them over in suspiciously extreme detail or fluffrape them into total irrelevance]].

Also, Jervis's comment on the Specialist Games forum is actually the only place where it says that the Squats were eaten by Tyranids - in all official sources, they simply stopped mentioning them. But in fact, Jervis and others did continue to mention them after they were removed, in various semi-official places, such as the Citadel Journal (where he simply said that the [[Squat Homeworlds]] were "taken over" by the Imperium).

Following Jervis's statement on the Specialist Games forum, Games Workshop began auto-banning anyone who even mentioned Squats on their forums. But not long after that they closed all of their forums anyway.

====Then what ever happened to the Demiurg?====
Essentially? Nothing. They were given all of two mentions in recent memory: first as a footnote on a list of [[Tau]] auxiliaries, then as a small enclave of asteroid miners that [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]] killed by accident while fighting some Bad Moonz. Their latest appearance is in the Battlefleet Gothic: Armada video games, where two Demiurg vessels appear as auxiliaries to the Tau fleet. While how canon the games are is of some dispute: Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II, where they also appear, takes place during the "Gathering Storm". So presumably them (or at least some factions/mercenaries) working with the Tau is their 'official' canon as of right now.

In fact, the Demiurg are mentioned as getting along with the Squats, trading Energy Drills to them. This is most likely due to the Squats being not-quite part of the Imperium and sharing similar stature and interest in mining.

Since the reintroduction of Squats as the Leagues of Votann, the Demiurg have been retconned into being one and the same with the Squats. It turns out that it was a Votann League known as the Seran-Tok Mercantile Leagues that were the ones who sold ion tech to the Tau, and some of the previewed Votann art and models have them with skin exactly like the old Demiurg concept art.

====What Happened According to /tg/====
Space [[Boatmurdered]]. Attempts to thwart the Tyranids with "fuck the world" levers failed. Casualties.... Too many.

[[Squat Crusade: The Musical|Or are trying to rebuild]]

== Squats continue to rear their [[Neckbeard|bearded]] heads ==
Games Workshop continues to show us that somewhere and somehow, a chained-up, barely-fed fluff-custodian is employed at the GW headquarters. He apparently gets loose every so often, and as evidence we present the tidbit he snuck in to the 6th Edition Rulebook.

Apparently, on page 405, the rulebook mentions Squats as a race of [[abhuman]]s, akin to Ogryn or Ratlings.

[http://i.imgur.com/WfOL7.jpg The Squat Reference]

Fanmade armylists for the Squats exists, the one most played and best playtested hosted over at 40konline.com, on their "Lost and Damned"-board.

They also have their own Facebook group, but searching for "squat" literally fills your screen with ass. [[Just As Planned|Beware]].

In the Seventh Edition rulebook, Squats are also mentioned in a list of known abhumans (along with a bunch of feline thingies). They're not even in the list of the extinct and dying out ones!!!

This trend was continued in the Eighth Edition corebook (page 279) and thus it seems that the idea of Squats being extinct may have been ''greatly'' exaggerated. Cue hopes of Squats making a triumphant return.

An entire video game has been made about the squats! Sure the Tyranids look a little weird but they'll still eat you like a Ratling at a buffet. https://www.deeprockgalactic.com/ Play now and die horribly while trying to mine gold on some Emperor forsaken planet.

==2022: Squats are back on the menu==
[[File:We_Back_Motherfuckers!.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Y'all bitches miss me yet?]]
{{topquote|What? You thought we were joking?|Confirmation trailer}}
{{topquote|HOLY SHIT THEY ARE ACTUALLY BACK!|Everybody's reaction when they saw the news}}
{{topquote|THEY HAVE RETURNED THE GREAT BEARDED SPESS DWORFZ RETURN!|Every Squat Player's reaction when they saw the news}}
{{topquote|So uhhhh... what happens now?|Duncan upon breaking the clock like a wazzock}}
{{topquote|/TG/ GETS SHIT DONE!!|Some dipshit Australian Necron main}}

It has been done.

Through the act of some unseen, indescribably powerful force, it has finally been done.

The [[Meme]] was finally broken. The Squats were....unsquatted....in Necromunda only, but still. We did the unthinkable, we brought a race that has been decommissioned for over 20 goddamned years back into tabletop gaming. Mother of Christ' titties [[Lulz|we actually got back Spess Dorfs before Plastic Sisters.]]

The first new Squat in decades was called Grendl Grendlsen. His lore mentioned that his mercenary unit was wiped out, leading him to become a bounty hunter in the underhive. Roughly a year after his release ''another'' new Squat model was announced, an ammo-jack hanger-on named Ragnir Gunnstein.

So far they are only playable for Necromunda, with them serving a variety of roles. But the chances of having an actual Squat Codex for 8th Edition is still iffy, with the Squats being confined to specialist games being most likely. But so far we are quite content with them returning. Shit man, GeeDubs have seriously been pulling the moves lately.

And so, finally, after 20 years of waiting...

'''SQUATS LIVE'''

There's also a persistent rumour that they'll come back as a <strike>Astra Militarum</strike> <strike>Imperial Guard</strike> Endless horde of bodies 'theme' alongside plastic [[Attilan Rough Riders]], [[Death Korps of Krieg]] and [[Tallarn Desert Raiders]]. Yeah right. Additionally, some very easy to miss fluff in the rear of the core Rulebook for 8th Edition actually refers to Squats as a species of abhuman.

'''AND IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH:'''

Following the release of the final book Psychic Awakening: Pariah some eagle-eyed folks noted a plot hook in it involving an Adeptus Mechanicus ship in the periphery of the Galactic Core getting their ship caught in a weaponized gravitational field. As the person making the vox transmission tries to make sense of what's going on he notices the gravitational field is emanating from a nearby ship bearing the markings of what's supposed to be an extinct race "the Squa...."
[[File:Leak Squats.png|275px|thumb|right|Leak confirming that Squats are in the works.]]

So it looks like there is at least one ship's worth of the stunty abhumans out there alive and kicking and they are pissed! Whether this is to tease a full-blown Squat army reveal remains to be seen.

'''WAIT A SEC!'''

With the release of ''plastic'' [[Death Korps of Krieg|Kriegers]] and the Forgeworld Squats now in fond memory, it's looking to be good news for our bearded booze boys. Combine that with the [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mUvOQq5rRo leaked release schedule], well, we might be getting ourselves even more Squats!

Correction: [https://youtu.be/9x-iR9CTzRI| shit's confirmed officially] <s>could also be a prank since it's April 1st</s>
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBFgZzYEr-8 It's not.] They have been reintroduced as the [[Leagues of Votann]] with a [https://www.warhammer-community.com/2022/04/22/the-leagues-of-votann-are-coming-but-what-actually-is-a-votann/ better] [[Votann|preservation]] of DAOT Humanity’s technology (like the until recently forgotten human version of anti-grav tech which the league uses for their Hernkyn Pioneer hover-trikes) and an uneasy relationship with the Imperium of Man and their superstitious cousins (with the Mechanicus likely considering some of the stunties’ tech to be heretekal) but fight alongside them due to both having more pressing concerns from mutual enemies seeking to kill them both. [[Ynnari|That logic sounds kinda familiar…]]

The Votann themselves are ultra-cogitators containing generations worth of inherited wisdom and knowledge, from military theory to philosophy and even a handful of STCs. Like the Ancestor Gods of Fantasy, the kin venerate them as sacred objects and rely on their guidance to maintain their society. The catch? The Votann were never meant to run for millennia nonstop and it's starting to show from their declining performance. More worryingly, some are starting to show signs of developing personalities, which would definitely make the AdMech throw a fit if the nature of the Votann wasn't such a carefully kept secret from outsiders.

Deleted leaks (that kinda hold up) and [https://spikeybits.com/2021/10/rumors-40k-squats-finding-their-way-back.html Rumors] from Bolter and Chainsword suggested that we'd be getting something similar to what they did for the Sisters: a limited-run box with an HQ, troops and an elite choice in <strike>Exo Egg-</strike>armor, plus the codex.
This news was later confirmed via Warcom which gave a release date of September 24, 2022 for the box. [[Living Ancestor|Veterans who remember the OG Epic models]] and [[Neckbeard|beardlings]] alike should appreciate the fact that the League is getting a codex before [[Daemons of Chaos|some]] [[World Eaters|other]] [[Imperial Guard|guys]] even got a release date.

This just in, more Necromundan Squats incoming. They call themselves the [[Ironhead Squat Prospectors]], and they look great. Rough Riders back too, 2 out of 3 there.

==Alternatives==
[[Mantic Games]] make a range of models called [[Forge Fathers]] which are space-dwarfs for their sci-fi game [[Warpath]], so if you want a Squat army you can have one! They're in 28mm so they could be used for 40K (use the Space Marine list and make up some appropriate house rules). As of now they have tanks, fully posable troopers and terminators too.

'''Hasslefree Miniatures''' make a range of models called "Grymm" which are dwarf space soldiers. They have close combat, light infantry, heavy infantry, specialists, and commander models. They even have a dwarf walker mech[http://www.hfminis.co.uk/shop?category=miniatures].

A Kickstarter worth your attention for models[http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1693348960/metal-beards-tabletop-dwarf-army] for an army of armoured dwarfs is a good option. Though it may have ended by the time you read this.

'''Ramshackle Games''' also produces biker gang and Land Train proxies. [http://www.ramshacklegames.co.uk/newrel.html]

There's also the "Scrunt" by Olleys Armies Wargame Miniatures.

'''[[Wargames Atlantic]]''' have also recently (at the time of writing) released 'EinherJar' as apart of their Death Fields line who are essentially Nordic space dorfs that live on a high-gravity planet.

And now thanks to [[Age of Sigmar]] you got the [[Kharadron Overlords]], [[Awesome|they are steam-armoured flying pirate dwarfs]]! There is a running gag that states that the Kharadron Overlords are surviving Squats who had fled Warhammer 40,000 into Warhammer Age of Sigmar due to how 40k the Kharadron models look. Time to get the conversions up and running! We recommend one of the space marine codexs that can take flying transport or flyer heavy Tempestus so you can use all those sweet Æther ships. This is probably your best bet if you want to use your army at official games.

For playing Squats with the Horus Heresy books. The Imperial Militia and Cults army list will allow players to create a decent proxy. Buy a Force Commander, give him the Survivors of the Dark Age and Abhuman Helots Provenances of War. This allows you to use [[Rhino|Rhinos]] and the [[Land Raider Proteus]] as dedicated transports. For small amount of points you can upgrade the Rotor Cannons and Las-weapons of Grenadier and Platoon Command Cadre squads. Since both squads have access to Bolters and Grenade Launchers most players will take them instead.
Ogryns outside of the Solar Auxilia suck if you're not taking Power Weapons. Due to their low BS of two. Three Enginseer Auxilia Adepts and fully kitted out Servo-Automata with Phased Plasma-fusils or GLs are the superior and more fluffy Elite option.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Squat-ammo-jack-necromunda-4.jpg|Ragnir Gunnstein reporting for duty!
File:Spacedorfs.png|OH FUCK YES
File:Bikersquats.jpg|space dorf bikers B-B-BAD TO THE BONE (this was a whole thing)
File:Spacedorf2.png|Legally Badass
Image:Resin_Glory.jpg|The Squats make their triumphant return with a new resin model.
Image:Grymm_lmg.jpg|I'm surprised you dwarf nuts haven't found these Hasslefree minis yet lol. I don't like dwarfs much myself but I wouldn't mind fighting beside ''these'' guys.
Image:Grymm_Light_Infantry_Squad_(Bareheaded).jpg
Image:Grymm_Light_Infantry_Squad(helmeted).jpg
Image:Grymm_Heavy_Infantry_Squad_(Helmeted).jpg
Image:Grymm_admiral.jpg
Image:Grymm WALKER.jpg| "[[meme|METAL GEAR?!]]"
Image:Grymm_Light_Infantry_Platoon.jpg
image:Grymm_Heavy_Infantry_Platoon.jpg
Image:1207616355827.jpg|Welcome to the club, Sisters.
Image:Squats rally.jpg|Rally to m
Image:ripsquats.jpg| Alright! Who's the jackass who thought that we were dead!
Image:squats_are_common.jpg|"Squats are common inhabitants in the Imperium..."
Image:Squat Codex.jpg|You may include troops but we won't.
File:Squats combat Cards citadel Cc spacewar 06 gorun.png|Militant-armored-cybernetic-warrior-space-midgets? Yep. They cover all the bases in the 41st millennium. (Or they used to...)
Image:The results.jpg|When the Squats were rediscovered, the Imperium's first reaction was to argue over who was to blame for losing them.
Image:Squat_Cyclops1024.jpg|[[Awesome|Squat Cyclops in all its glory]]
Image:GWquisition.jpg
Image:This never happened.jpg|If anyone asks, I didn't put this picture here. In fact, if anyone asks, deny this picture exi-
Image:Tmdyxxq7bm851.jpg|thumb|<s>POSSIBLE HINT OF SQUAT ARMY RETURN</s> <s>No, no, you see, they were going to say that ship belongs to squads of Primaris lieutenants!</s> {{BLAM}}{{BLAM}} Confirmed they are definitely back!
File:Alexey-kruglov-skwat.jpg |
File:Squat Soldier.jpg|A basic Leagues of Votann soldier, dressed in [[StarCraft|gear]] that would put a Space Marine to shame
File:Votann meeting.jpg|All right lads, here's the plan on how we're gonna' make the Imperium look like a bunch a' wazzocks.
File:Vartijan Exo-Driller.jpg
</gallery>

{{Template:Squats}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]
[[Category:Dwarves]]
[[Category:Squats]]
[[Category:Abhumans]]
{{Template:Imperium}}

Skub

2020-03-05T13:41:58Z

2600:387:9:3:0:0:0:41: /* Gallery */

{{stub}}
{{Heresy}}
{{awesome}}
{{Bad}}
{{Fail}}
[[Image:Skub comic.gif|thumb|400px|center|Skub in all its glory]]
[[File:SkubIRL.jpg|thumb|200px|right|thumb|Skub IRL]]

warning: this thread is *snap*core and shrek might need a bigger lens for it.

'''Skub''' is a fictional substance of unclear purpose created by webcomic ''[http://pbfcomics.com/20/ The Perry Bible Fellowship]''. The comic features "Pro-Skub" and "Anti-Skub" characters fighting each other over their skub affiliation. It is never explained why skub incites such violence, and thus skub has become synonymous with things that cause unnecessary [[RAGE|rage]] and difference of opinion for <s>mundane</s> very important things; for instance, ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]'' and ''[[WARMACHINE]]'' are often referred to as ''Skubhammer'' and ''Skubmachine''.

'''Politics''' (and '''religion''' (and '''sports''' (and '''history'''))) are often thought to be skub for grown-up, <s>“respectable” people</s> <s>idiots without an opinion on Skub</s> "respectable" people.

==The Arguments==
<s>It's good</s> <s>It's Great</s> It's ''Ok''

<strike>FUCK SKUB.</strike> SKUB FOR LIFE (if you can call it a life, you filthy skub user.)

<strike>SKUB KILLED MY SISTER AND TURNED HER CORPSE INTO A GIANT FUCKING MONSTER.</strike> THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR SISTER WAS A [[heresy|HERETIC]] THAT DIDN'T BELIEVE IN SKUB.

<strike>SKUB WILL BRING US THE SALVATION!</strike> TO EMBRACE SKUB IS TO EMBRACE DEATH

<strike>PRAISE BE TO SKUB! SKUB FOR THE SKUB GOD!</strike> <strike>Beware the heresies of false gods! Skub will lead thee unto temptation!</strike>{{BLAM|'''*BLAM! HERESY*'''}} Oh you, stop that.

Skub is skub and nothing will change that.

<strike>Fuck this shite im out</strike> <strike>NO! SKUB BEST</strike> SKUB IZ MOST MALEVOLENT PLAGUE-SKUM

 >Still arguing over skub. 

Hey... won't you believe in it? That... even if there is no God or Buddha... there is Skub. (Until we destroy it all, SKUB SHALL FALL TO THE MIGHTY HANDS OF CORAX!) <strike>{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}</strike> <strike> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}</strike> <strike>{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}</strike> <strike>{{BLAM|'''*BLAM! STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW, CRIMINAL SKUB!*'''}}
</strike> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM! THAT'S DOUBLE HERESY!*'''}}
<strike>Kaldor Draigo will save us from Skub!</strike> LIES. HE IS THE AVATAR OF SKUB. (Not sure that's a good thing)

<strike>LOUD NOISES!!!!!</strike> Please do not scream, it agitates the Skublord.

<strike>DEATH TO MEPHISTON, LORD OF SKUB, DON`T FALL TO LIES OF SKUB. IT WILL BRING DEATH!!</strike> [[Matt Ward]] HAS NOW WRITTEN SKUB INTO IT'S 5TH EDITION, WHERE IT IS NOW YOUR '''''[[Roboute_Guilliman|SPIRITUAL LIEGE]]'''''!

Wait, if Matt Ward wrote Skub into something, isn't that automatically a strike <s>against it?</s> <s>for it</s> MATT WARD IS THE SKUBLORD, IT EVEN RHYMES

<strike>SKUB IS DELICIOUS, AND PURPORTEDLY TASTES GOOD ON TOAST</strike> LIES AND [[HERESY]], SKUB IS [[Nurgle|CARCINOGENIC]] AND TASTES LIKE [[Grey Knights|SHIT]]

<s>I think Skub tastes like Skub.</s> I have no words for whatever chaos spawn could commit such well worded heres-- IOGPPEPCKKSPPEPPKDKA

<strike>skub smells of oxygen (HURR DURR)</strike> Skub smells are the smells of heaven! >You're never going to heaven, how do you know what it smells like? 

<strike> Can't we all just sit down and talk about this?</strike> FUCK YOU SKUB FOR LIFE!

<strike>The Imperium lives to serve skub</strike> BULLSHIT!!! The Imperium finds skub and KILLS IT WITH FIRE (when avaliable)

Essentially <strike>marmite.</strike> fuk marmite real men go for <strike>vegemite</strike> A True, Strong and Healthy Anglo-Saxon would accept nothing less than <strike>Bovril</strike> WHOLESOME BLOODY SKUB on his toast.

<strike>Pro Skub </strike> <strike>Anti Skub </strike> <strike>Pro Skub </strike> <strike>Anti Skub </strike> <strike>Pro Skub </strike> <strike>Anti Skub </strike> <strike>Pro Skub </strike> <strike>Anti Skub </strike> <strike>Pro Skub </strike> <strike>Anti Skub </strike> <strike>Pro Skub </strike> <s>Anti Skub </s>
<s>Pro Skub </s> <s>Anti Skub </s> <s>Pro Skub </s> <s>Anti Skub </s> <s>Pro Skub </s> <s>Anti Skub </s> <s>Pro Skub </s> <s>Anti Skub </s> <s>PRO SKUB!!</s> <s>Nope, anti Skub.</s> <s>Nope.avi, #skubislife</s>
Fuck yo-SKUB FOR LIFE-u, you nasty <s>Skub user</s> GOD.

<strike>[[Just As Planned]].</strike> Skub users can't plan for shit.

<strike>'''ALL PRAISE BE TO SKUB!!! SKUB IS A GLORIOUS GIFT GIVEN TO MAN BY ''GOD''!!!'''</strike> don't be so bloody ridiculous SKUB FUCKIN SUCKS

<strike>Skub is all right, I guess...</strike> <s>No, it isn't.</s> <strike>Yes, it is.</strike> Skub is the fucking greatest, go hide in your <strike>metal</strike> skub box.

<strike>What about guys who are neutral on skub personally... fuck 'em, indecisive bastards.</strike> Such men don't exist HAVING AN OPINION ON SKUB IS MANDATORY!

SKUB IS LOVE SKUB IS LIFE

SKUB IS HATE SKUB IS DEATH <strike>But that's heresy!</strike> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''''}}

on a side note, this is great once you get into it http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Slaanesh's_sacrifice.pdf

Skrub feels great if you stick your dick In it

ALL HAIL SKUB!!!
ALL HAIL SKUB!!!
SKUB IS FOR SKRUBS.

I HAVE A VERY STRONG OPINION ON THE SUBJECT OF SKUB

YOU'RE ALL HERETICS AND DESERVED TO BE PURGED!{{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''''}} {{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''''}}{{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''''}} (The Commissar uses skub too)

What the fuck is skub?{{BLAM}} {{BLAM|That's double heresey!}}

More like hearsay amirite?{{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''''}}

Skub, like <s>Hershey</s> [[HERESY]], tastes <s>delicious</s> SHITTY!

<s>SKUB FOR THE SKUB GOD!!!</s> CHEESE FOR THE CHEESE THRONE!!!

Skub? Get that away from me or I'm calling the Coast Guard {{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''''}}

Fact: A lack of Skub in your life can cause you to turn into a Chaos Spawn-OH FUCK NOOOOOOOOGLARBABLAHBALHABALAHHBLBLBLBL...

<strike>
''IT WILL BE MY FINEST SPREADABLE, THIS SKUB WHO GIVES OF ITSELF TO ME.''

''LIKE MARMITE I WILL MAKE IT DECISIVE AND IN THE FURNACE OF /tg/ FORGE IT.''

''IT WILL BE OF LEMON TANGINESS AND MELT-IN-YOUR-MOUTH GOODNESS.''

''IN GREAT MARKETING SHALL I CLAD IT AND WITH THE MIGHTIEST OF VARIANT FLAVOURS IT WILL BE ARMED.''

''IT WILL BE UNTOUCHED BY ALLERGIES AND INSECT BITS, NO SICKNESS WILL BLIGHT UPON IT.''

''IT WILL HAVE FLAVOUR, ADDICTIVITY AND MAMA'S-HOME-COOKED FEELING SO THAT NO FOE WILL BEST IT IN SALES.''

''IT IS MY BULWARK AGAINST ANTI-SKUBS.''

''IT IS MY DEFENDER OF PRO-SKUBS.''

''IT IS MY'' '''''SKUB''''' ''AND IT'S SUPPORTERS SHALL KNOW NO COUNTER-ARGUMENTS.''
~The God-Emperor of Mankind ''On the creation of skub.''</strike>

SKUB IS DISGUSTING GOO.

''>2017 ''
''><s>still</s> <s>not</s> using skub IS MY FAVORITE ACTIVITY. PRAISE YOU ALMIGHTY SKUB''

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS AND WHY AM I SCARED!!!!???

<strike>2017 and you anti-skub bigots are still out there spreadig LIES about SKUB</strike> SKUB IS DEGENERATE AND YOU KNOW IT!!!

SKUB IS AMAZING AND USING IT AS A SKIN OINTMENT IS PROVEN TO GRANT ETERNAL LIFE AND EXFOLIATE LIKE NO OTHER!!!

Skub is the fifth Chaos God.

Skub is truly a unholy substance,and the above is heretical twaddle. Heed it at your own peril.
LIES, SKUB IS THE '''EMPRAHS''' SPREADABLE OF CHOICE. The Emperor had Skub for breakfast before he fought Horus! Look where he is now! If he hadn't had skub for breakfast, he would have won the Horus Heresy!

In the end, there is only Skub.

Funfact: [[Warmachine|Menoth]] and the [[Hordes|Devourer Wurm]] are fighting over a pot of skub. ''It's just that <strike>good</strike> <strike>bad</strike> <strike>Good</strike> <strike>BAD</strike> Skub.

I have such faith in <strike>humanity</strike> <strike>skub</strike> <strike>humanity</strike> <strike>skub</strike> <strike>skubmanity</strike> <strike>nothing</strike> <strike>everything</strike> <strike>Nietzsche's way of thinking.</strike> The ability of <strike>people</strike> all sapient beings to argue endlessly over the <s>pettiest</s> <s>greatest bullshit.</s> Skub

^ Disregard the above implication. Muh middleman fallacy. You can only be <strike> pro-skub </strike> or anti-skub. No in between. No sidelines.

*So which are you then, eh?

Filthy neutrals get OFF OUR PAGE <strike>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE</strike> Stop that autistic screeching at once
*This, only filthy skub users screech like that.
Skub is great, fuck you.
[[Category:meme]]

Skubbary Execution (skub limbo)

{{BLAM|'''SKARBRAND HATES SKUB'''}}

Skub is so great the tyranids came to this galaxy to harness its <strike>powers</strike> tightness. All hail Cypher the true Warmaster! Codename '''Greatness'''

Snap selfies of the tyranid queen is the reason for such heresy and heredity

One must be enlightened to the Greater Good (The Greater Good) and it's message of harmony between Scub and Anti-Scub join me brothers and siste- *BLAM* DAMN TAU SCUM!

<s>You anti-scub fuckers squander the greatest thing in the universe</s>

If you like it so much, at least spell the goddamn name right, you ass-backwards Skub-lover.

SKUBPRIDE WORLDWIDE

SKUBPRIDE WORLDWIDE

SKUBPRIDE WORLDWIDE

SKUBPRIDE WORLDWIDE

Sly Marbo sneakily takes your Skub and proceeds to defecate all over it.

Skub caused my forge world to get taken blown up by the forces of Nurgle.

<s>Pro-skub and anti-skub need to shut the fuck up [[Exterminatus|OR ELSE.]]</s> In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only skub.

You guys ''know'' Skub is actually Orc snot,right? AN' WUT DA ZOG IS RONG WIFF DAT? BEIN' ORKY ONLY MAKEZ IT BETTAH, YA GRETCHIN GIT

<center><gallery>
File:1448773355358.jpg|Democracy at its finest!.
</gallery></center>

* What pro-Skub say:

* What Anti-Skub say:

* What they have in Common:[[Rage]]

<s>Both [[Neckbeard|Pro-Skub]] and [[Neckbeard|Anti-Skub]] [[Exterminatus|need to shut the fuck up]].</s> '''STFU CENTRIST FAG. SKUB!!!!'''

<s>I have found the solution to this terrible civil war of Skub and Anti Skub and it is! Oh wait I don't feel very good *One of the One half culled by Thanos*</s> '''IT ONLY CULLED HALF OF EACH'''

<s>Skub ain't that bad.</s> OBJECTIVELY WRONG OPINION.

FUCK SKUB AND FUCK YOU

<nowiki>SKUB IS THE BEST AND YOU CANT CHANGE MY MINE YA CAHNTS</nowiki>

Skub is very <s>good</s> Bad. Who knew?

The Skub will be here forever and always. The Skub sees. The Skub knows. The Skub protects.

<s>Lmao it's 2018 almost 2019 and Im sitting here wondering about the elections.</s> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM! HERESY*'''}}

It is 2019 and I'm sitting here wondering about the Skub

Elections bad, skub also <s>bad</s>great, ya bunch of animals

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, FUCK <s>YOU</s>ME SKUB LOVERS.

Who cares about skub let's <s>talk about knees and vents.</s>lets not.

FUCK YOURSELF CENTRIST SCUM
SKUB
FOR LIFE

MATTHEW WARDS USES SKUB, LOOK HOW AWESOME HE IS!

I prefer Skub Lite

Is this Skub eco-friendly?

No, Skub is an environmentally effective memetic toxin which kills baby seals and dancing penguin chicks by the mere act of coming into their awareness. They will also instantly develop the cognitive capacity to understand what Skub is just a fraction of time for said Skub to obliterate their minds. Skub doesn't just kill nature, it causes it existential horror.
''Still not sure if this is pro or anti Skub propaganda''

Want a skub cranberry?

Also Skub "Lite" is why the pun fa/tg/uys is actually descriptive.

No-one knows what Skub truly is, nor any of it's lite or diet or whatever the [[Rape|Holy Thyroid Glands]]. So, by order of The Ordo Hereticus and the supreme athority of [[The Emperor|He-Who-Rules-On-Terra]] any further posts about this shall be executed by the Adeptus Arbites or/and Orgyns. So SHUT IT

scub. more like. sbub. hahahahah

Quick side note: skub is what /ppl/acks use to start twitter flame wars. Even when it looks like they had nothing to do with it, it was them.;)

Skub is my favourite anal lubricant.

PLEASE SKUB MY ASSHOLEE!!11

Skubbing an asshole can cause severe anal warts. Please skub responsibly.

Oh, is that what those weird warts are?

From the moment I learned the weakness of <s>my flesh</s> skub, it disgusted me. I sought strength and certainty in <s>steel</s> skub. I aspired to become one with the blessed <s>skub</s>machine. Your kind cling to your flesh like <s>a temple</s> skub, as if it will not ultimately decay and fail you. One day, the crude <s>skub</s> biomass will fail you, and you will beg my <s>skubbots</s> kind to save you. But I am already <s>saved</s> skub incarnate. For <s>the machine</s> skub is eternal.

Even in death I serve the <s>Skubnissiah</s> ANTI SKUB INQUISITION!

BaaaaAck when I was yer age, I hed erectil disfunctionun, ser I took skub.

Did it work, grandpa?

<s>Yes</s> <s>No</s> <s>Yes</s> <s>No</s> <s>Shuddup Johnny I killed yer fer a reasin, ya anti-Skub scum</s> <s>No</s>

I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Marmite" bullshit going on in the D20 system right now. Skub deserves much <s>better</s> worse than that.

Can we settle this peacefully? Obviously Skub is the ______ [needs citation]

Brennan sent me here.

Oh the fucking anti-Skub mongs are at it again.

Skub advocates should be sectioned

You know... if Skub didn't exist... would we have any war? What if Skub is the reason Japan bombed those poor Pearl Harborists? What if that once prince who died and started World War One died because he liked skub? What if that one Aztec war was because... Skub? What if the Great Crusade was because of Skub? What if Skub was the reason behind... everything? Ahhh, whatever, fuck it. Skub for life. War forever.

Deep, man.

Fuck <s>philosophy</s> Skub.

Let the Edit Wars begin! And may the <s>games</s> FUCKING SKUB be ever in your favour.

I'm pro anti-skub, but I'm also anti pro-skub.

Skub is The Emperor, Anti-Skub is Chaos. (Make of this what you will)
Skub, Skub never changes

Eat Skub Mothafuckas!

If any of you faggots deletes, strikethroughs, etc. this text, I'm gonna fucking delete THE WHOLE FUCKING PAGE.

I edited this page and all I got was this Skub...

Skumb deserve death

'In the most ancient time there was a war between but just two factions of such vastness raging through out the Galaxy it causes all the combined current violent exertions all the living, the undead machines and, neverborn spawn of the warp to hide it's collective face away with great shame and say,
"We are but the trifling squabble of uncommitted, convictionless children. No longer can we proudly claim to be the harrowing madness of intractable conflict"

War has a memory both honest and longer than even the lifespan of species and it remembers the greatest of all calamities ever to cause thinking minds to seek to obliterate any who harbored disagreement.
Yes, War remembers when it was first born in the Galaxy and in only one tale of the ancient times is it mention just one time in passing and the few who know of even that think it to be a lie.

For when the C'tan called the Deceiver told the Silent King they had once fought the Old Ones and lost he spoke of an event so real, so profound in it's effect that even he was obligated to not lie of it occurance.....
That war was the first war in our galaxy, when the Even Older Old Ones and Original C'tan became embroiled in the Irreconcilable Disagreement on the nature of Skub.

Where the Deceiver lied was who was for it & who was against it.'

- Opening chapter of The Occulted History of the Great Sundering of Skub

Skub gave birth to all baby boomers, millenials and autisti-- I mean, gen-z children.
Abadoo caused the Rift when he opened a jar of skub, just sayin

<s>One Skub to rule them all.</s> NO SKUB RULES. EVER.

I AM SKUB ETERNAL!!! ALL HERETICS MAY BOW DOWN TO ME AND BE ENDED MERCIFULLY. ANY OTHER HERETICS WILL BE WIPED FROM EXISISTANCE!

I AM CONFUSED BUT ALSO ANGRY

SKARBRAND HATES SKUB

== External Links ==
[https://www.ikea.com/us/en/cat/skubb-series-12555/ Now you can decorate your home with the fanciest skub!]

== Gallery ==
<center><gallery>
File:Skub.GIF|Pandora's <s>Skub</s> <s>'''Shit'''</s> <s>'''DIVINE NECTAR'''</s> </s>'''Ass cream'''<s> fleshlight
File:Proskub.png|<s>disgusting</s> <s>GLORIOUS AND TRUTHFUL</s> <s>FILTHY FALSEHOOD</s> <s>EXCELLENT AND WONDERFUL pro-skub propaganda</s> FILTHY HERESY
File:Antiskub.png|<s>disgusting</s> <s>GLORIOUS AND TRUTHFUL</s> <s>disgusting</s> <s>VALOROUS AND HONEST</s> foolish and worthless anti-skub propaganda
</gallery></center>

Skub

2020-03-05T13:40:06Z

2600:387:9:3:0:0:0:41: /* The Arguments */

{{stub}}
{{Heresy}}
{{awesome}}
{{Bad}}
{{Fail}}
[[Image:Skub comic.gif|thumb|400px|center|Skub in all its glory]]
[[File:SkubIRL.jpg|thumb|200px|right|thumb|Skub IRL]]

warning: this thread is *snap*core and shrek might need a bigger lens for it.

'''Skub''' is a fictional substance of unclear purpose created by webcomic ''[http://pbfcomics.com/20/ The Perry Bible Fellowship]''. The comic features "Pro-Skub" and "Anti-Skub" characters fighting each other over their skub affiliation. It is never explained why skub incites such violence, and thus skub has become synonymous with things that cause unnecessary [[RAGE|rage]] and difference of opinion for <s>mundane</s> very important things; for instance, ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]'' and ''[[WARMACHINE]]'' are often referred to as ''Skubhammer'' and ''Skubmachine''.

'''Politics''' (and '''religion''' (and '''sports''' (and '''history'''))) are often thought to be skub for grown-up, <s>“respectable” people</s> <s>idiots without an opinion on Skub</s> "respectable" people.

==The Arguments==
<s>It's good</s> <s>It's Great</s> It's ''Ok''

<strike>FUCK SKUB.</strike> SKUB FOR LIFE (if you can call it a life, you filthy skub user.)

<strike>SKUB KILLED MY SISTER AND TURNED HER CORPSE INTO A GIANT FUCKING MONSTER.</strike> THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR SISTER WAS A [[heresy|HERETIC]] THAT DIDN'T BELIEVE IN SKUB.

<strike>SKUB WILL BRING US THE SALVATION!</strike> TO EMBRACE SKUB IS TO EMBRACE DEATH

<strike>PRAISE BE TO SKUB! SKUB FOR THE SKUB GOD!</strike> <strike>Beware the heresies of false gods! Skub will lead thee unto temptation!</strike>{{BLAM|'''*BLAM! HERESY*'''}} Oh you, stop that.

Skub is skub and nothing will change that.

<strike>Fuck this shite im out</strike> <strike>NO! SKUB BEST</strike> SKUB IZ MOST MALEVOLENT PLAGUE-SKUM

 >Still arguing over skub. 

Hey... won't you believe in it? That... even if there is no God or Buddha... there is Skub. (Until we destroy it all, SKUB SHALL FALL TO THE MIGHTY HANDS OF CORAX!) <strike>{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}</strike> <strike> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}</strike> <strike>{{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''}}</strike> <strike>{{BLAM|'''*BLAM! STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW, CRIMINAL SKUB!*'''}}
</strike> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM! THAT'S DOUBLE HERESY!*'''}}
<strike>Kaldor Draigo will save us from Skub!</strike> LIES. HE IS THE AVATAR OF SKUB. (Not sure that's a good thing)

<strike>LOUD NOISES!!!!!</strike> Please do not scream, it agitates the Skublord.

<strike>DEATH TO MEPHISTON, LORD OF SKUB, DON`T FALL TO LIES OF SKUB. IT WILL BRING DEATH!!</strike> [[Matt Ward]] HAS NOW WRITTEN SKUB INTO IT'S 5TH EDITION, WHERE IT IS NOW YOUR '''''[[Roboute_Guilliman|SPIRITUAL LIEGE]]'''''!

Wait, if Matt Ward wrote Skub into something, isn't that automatically a strike <s>against it?</s> <s>for it</s> MATT WARD IS THE SKUBLORD, IT EVEN RHYMES

<strike>SKUB IS DELICIOUS, AND PURPORTEDLY TASTES GOOD ON TOAST</strike> LIES AND [[HERESY]], SKUB IS [[Nurgle|CARCINOGENIC]] AND TASTES LIKE [[Grey Knights|SHIT]]

<s>I think Skub tastes like Skub.</s> I have no words for whatever chaos spawn could commit such well worded heres-- IOGPPEPCKKSPPEPPKDKA

<strike>skub smells of oxygen (HURR DURR)</strike> Skub smells are the smells of heaven! >You're never going to heaven, how do you know what it smells like? 

<strike> Can't we all just sit down and talk about this?</strike> FUCK YOU SKUB FOR LIFE!

<strike>The Imperium lives to serve skub</strike> BULLSHIT!!! The Imperium finds skub and KILLS IT WITH FIRE (when avaliable)

Essentially <strike>marmite.</strike> fuk marmite real men go for <strike>vegemite</strike> A True, Strong and Healthy Anglo-Saxon would accept nothing less than <strike>Bovril</strike> WHOLESOME BLOODY SKUB on his toast.

<strike>Pro Skub </strike> <strike>Anti Skub </strike> <strike>Pro Skub </strike> <strike>Anti Skub </strike> <strike>Pro Skub </strike> <strike>Anti Skub </strike> <strike>Pro Skub </strike> <strike>Anti Skub </strike> <strike>Pro Skub </strike> <strike>Anti Skub </strike> <strike>Pro Skub </strike> <s>Anti Skub </s>
<s>Pro Skub </s> <s>Anti Skub </s> <s>Pro Skub </s> <s>Anti Skub </s> <s>Pro Skub </s> <s>Anti Skub </s> <s>Pro Skub </s> <s>Anti Skub </s> <s>PRO SKUB!!</s> <s>Nope, anti Skub.</s> <s>Nope.avi, #skubislife</s>
Fuck yo-SKUB FOR LIFE-u, you nasty <s>Skub user</s> GOD.

<strike>[[Just As Planned]].</strike> Skub users can't plan for shit.

<strike>'''ALL PRAISE BE TO SKUB!!! SKUB IS A GLORIOUS GIFT GIVEN TO MAN BY ''GOD''!!!'''</strike> don't be so bloody ridiculous SKUB FUCKIN SUCKS

<strike>Skub is all right, I guess...</strike> <s>No, it isn't.</s> <strike>Yes, it is.</strike> Skub is the fucking greatest, go hide in your <strike>metal</strike> skub box.

<strike>What about guys who are neutral on skub personally... fuck 'em, indecisive bastards.</strike> Such men don't exist HAVING AN OPINION ON SKUB IS MANDATORY!

SKUB IS LOVE SKUB IS LIFE

SKUB IS HATE SKUB IS DEATH <strike>But that's heresy!</strike> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''''}}

on a side note, this is great once you get into it http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Slaanesh's_sacrifice.pdf

Skrub feels great if you stick your dick In it

ALL HAIL SKUB!!!
ALL HAIL SKUB!!!
SKUB IS FOR SKRUBS.

I HAVE A VERY STRONG OPINION ON THE SUBJECT OF SKUB

YOU'RE ALL HERETICS AND DESERVED TO BE PURGED!{{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''''}} {{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''''}}{{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''''}} (The Commissar uses skub too)

What the fuck is skub?{{BLAM}} {{BLAM|That's double heresey!}}

More like hearsay amirite?{{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''''}}

Skub, like <s>Hershey</s> [[HERESY]], tastes <s>delicious</s> SHITTY!

<s>SKUB FOR THE SKUB GOD!!!</s> CHEESE FOR THE CHEESE THRONE!!!

Skub? Get that away from me or I'm calling the Coast Guard {{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''''}}

Fact: A lack of Skub in your life can cause you to turn into a Chaos Spawn-OH FUCK NOOOOOOOOGLARBABLAHBALHABALAHHBLBLBLBL...

<strike>
''IT WILL BE MY FINEST SPREADABLE, THIS SKUB WHO GIVES OF ITSELF TO ME.''

''LIKE MARMITE I WILL MAKE IT DECISIVE AND IN THE FURNACE OF /tg/ FORGE IT.''

''IT WILL BE OF LEMON TANGINESS AND MELT-IN-YOUR-MOUTH GOODNESS.''

''IN GREAT MARKETING SHALL I CLAD IT AND WITH THE MIGHTIEST OF VARIANT FLAVOURS IT WILL BE ARMED.''

''IT WILL BE UNTOUCHED BY ALLERGIES AND INSECT BITS, NO SICKNESS WILL BLIGHT UPON IT.''

''IT WILL HAVE FLAVOUR, ADDICTIVITY AND MAMA'S-HOME-COOKED FEELING SO THAT NO FOE WILL BEST IT IN SALES.''

''IT IS MY BULWARK AGAINST ANTI-SKUBS.''

''IT IS MY DEFENDER OF PRO-SKUBS.''

''IT IS MY'' '''''SKUB''''' ''AND IT'S SUPPORTERS SHALL KNOW NO COUNTER-ARGUMENTS.''
~The God-Emperor of Mankind ''On the creation of skub.''</strike>

SKUB IS DISGUSTING GOO.

''>2017 ''
''><s>still</s> <s>not</s> using skub IS MY FAVORITE ACTIVITY. PRAISE YOU ALMIGHTY SKUB''

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS AND WHY AM I SCARED!!!!???

<strike>2017 and you anti-skub bigots are still out there spreadig LIES about SKUB</strike> SKUB IS DEGENERATE AND YOU KNOW IT!!!

SKUB IS AMAZING AND USING IT AS A SKIN OINTMENT IS PROVEN TO GRANT ETERNAL LIFE AND EXFOLIATE LIKE NO OTHER!!!

Skub is the fifth Chaos God.

Skub is truly a unholy substance,and the above is heretical twaddle. Heed it at your own peril.
LIES, SKUB IS THE '''EMPRAHS''' SPREADABLE OF CHOICE. The Emperor had Skub for breakfast before he fought Horus! Look where he is now! If he hadn't had skub for breakfast, he would have won the Horus Heresy!

In the end, there is only Skub.

Funfact: [[Warmachine|Menoth]] and the [[Hordes|Devourer Wurm]] are fighting over a pot of skub. ''It's just that <strike>good</strike> <strike>bad</strike> <strike>Good</strike> <strike>BAD</strike> Skub.

I have such faith in <strike>humanity</strike> <strike>skub</strike> <strike>humanity</strike> <strike>skub</strike> <strike>skubmanity</strike> <strike>nothing</strike> <strike>everything</strike> <strike>Nietzsche's way of thinking.</strike> The ability of <strike>people</strike> all sapient beings to argue endlessly over the <s>pettiest</s> <s>greatest bullshit.</s> Skub

^ Disregard the above implication. Muh middleman fallacy. You can only be <strike> pro-skub </strike> or anti-skub. No in between. No sidelines.

*So which are you then, eh?

Filthy neutrals get OFF OUR PAGE <strike>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE</strike> Stop that autistic screeching at once
*This, only filthy skub users screech like that.
Skub is great, fuck you.
[[Category:meme]]

Skubbary Execution (skub limbo)

{{BLAM|'''SKARBRAND HATES SKUB'''}}

Skub is so great the tyranids came to this galaxy to harness its <strike>powers</strike> tightness. All hail Cypher the true Warmaster! Codename '''Greatness'''

Snap selfies of the tyranid queen is the reason for such heresy and heredity

One must be enlightened to the Greater Good (The Greater Good) and it's message of harmony between Scub and Anti-Scub join me brothers and siste- *BLAM* DAMN TAU SCUM!

<s>You anti-scub fuckers squander the greatest thing in the universe</s>

If you like it so much, at least spell the goddamn name right, you ass-backwards Skub-lover.

SKUBPRIDE WORLDWIDE

SKUBPRIDE WORLDWIDE

SKUBPRIDE WORLDWIDE

SKUBPRIDE WORLDWIDE

Sly Marbo sneakily takes your Skub and proceeds to defecate all over it.

Skub caused my forge world to get taken blown up by the forces of Nurgle.

<s>Pro-skub and anti-skub need to shut the fuck up [[Exterminatus|OR ELSE.]]</s> In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only skub.

You guys ''know'' Skub is actually Orc snot,right? AN' WUT DA ZOG IS RONG WIFF DAT? BEIN' ORKY ONLY MAKEZ IT BETTAH, YA GRETCHIN GIT

<center><gallery>
File:1448773355358.jpg|Democracy at its finest!.
</gallery></center>

* What pro-Skub say:

* What Anti-Skub say:

* What they have in Common:[[Rage]]

<s>Both [[Neckbeard|Pro-Skub]] and [[Neckbeard|Anti-Skub]] [[Exterminatus|need to shut the fuck up]].</s> '''STFU CENTRIST FAG. SKUB!!!!'''

<s>I have found the solution to this terrible civil war of Skub and Anti Skub and it is! Oh wait I don't feel very good *One of the One half culled by Thanos*</s> '''IT ONLY CULLED HALF OF EACH'''

<s>Skub ain't that bad.</s> OBJECTIVELY WRONG OPINION.

FUCK SKUB AND FUCK YOU

<nowiki>SKUB IS THE BEST AND YOU CANT CHANGE MY MINE YA CAHNTS</nowiki>

Skub is very <s>good</s> Bad. Who knew?

The Skub will be here forever and always. The Skub sees. The Skub knows. The Skub protects.

<s>Lmao it's 2018 almost 2019 and Im sitting here wondering about the elections.</s> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM! HERESY*'''}}

It is 2019 and I'm sitting here wondering about the Skub

Elections bad, skub also <s>bad</s>great, ya bunch of animals

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, FUCK <s>YOU</s>ME SKUB LOVERS.

Who cares about skub let's <s>talk about knees and vents.</s>lets not.

FUCK YOURSELF CENTRIST SCUM
SKUB
FOR LIFE

MATTHEW WARDS USES SKUB, LOOK HOW AWESOME HE IS!

I prefer Skub Lite

Is this Skub eco-friendly?

No, Skub is an environmentally effective memetic toxin which kills baby seals and dancing penguin chicks by the mere act of coming into their awareness. They will also instantly develop the cognitive capacity to understand what Skub is just a fraction of time for said Skub to obliterate their minds. Skub doesn't just kill nature, it causes it existential horror.
''Still not sure if this is pro or anti Skub propaganda''

Want a skub cranberry?

Also Skub "Lite" is why the pun fa/tg/uys is actually descriptive.

No-one knows what Skub truly is, nor any of it's lite or diet or whatever the [[Rape|Holy Thyroid Glands]]. So, by order of The Ordo Hereticus and the supreme athority of [[The Emperor|He-Who-Rules-On-Terra]] any further posts about this shall be executed by the Adeptus Arbites or/and Orgyns. So SHUT IT

scub. more like. sbub. hahahahah

Quick side note: skub is what /ppl/acks use to start twitter flame wars. Even when it looks like they had nothing to do with it, it was them.;)

Skub is my favourite anal lubricant.

PLEASE SKUB MY ASSHOLEE!!11

Skubbing an asshole can cause severe anal warts. Please skub responsibly.

Oh, is that what those weird warts are?

From the moment I learned the weakness of <s>my flesh</s> skub, it disgusted me. I sought strength and certainty in <s>steel</s> skub. I aspired to become one with the blessed <s>skub</s>machine. Your kind cling to your flesh like <s>a temple</s> skub, as if it will not ultimately decay and fail you. One day, the crude <s>skub</s> biomass will fail you, and you will beg my <s>skubbots</s> kind to save you. But I am already <s>saved</s> skub incarnate. For <s>the machine</s> skub is eternal.

Even in death I serve the <s>Skubnissiah</s> ANTI SKUB INQUISITION!

BaaaaAck when I was yer age, I hed erectil disfunctionun, ser I took skub.

Did it work, grandpa?

<s>Yes</s> <s>No</s> <s>Yes</s> <s>No</s> <s>Shuddup Johnny I killed yer fer a reasin, ya anti-Skub scum</s> <s>No</s>

I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Marmite" bullshit going on in the D20 system right now. Skub deserves much <s>better</s> worse than that.

Can we settle this peacefully? Obviously Skub is the ______ [needs citation]

Brennan sent me here.

Oh the fucking anti-Skub mongs are at it again.

Skub advocates should be sectioned

You know... if Skub didn't exist... would we have any war? What if Skub is the reason Japan bombed those poor Pearl Harborists? What if that once prince who died and started World War One died because he liked skub? What if that one Aztec war was because... Skub? What if the Great Crusade was because of Skub? What if Skub was the reason behind... everything? Ahhh, whatever, fuck it. Skub for life. War forever.

Deep, man.

Fuck <s>philosophy</s> Skub.

Let the Edit Wars begin! And may the <s>games</s> FUCKING SKUB be ever in your favour.

I'm pro anti-skub, but I'm also anti pro-skub.

Skub is The Emperor, Anti-Skub is Chaos. (Make of this what you will)
Skub, Skub never changes

Eat Skub Mothafuckas!

If any of you faggots deletes, strikethroughs, etc. this text, I'm gonna fucking delete THE WHOLE FUCKING PAGE.

I edited this page and all I got was this Skub...

Skumb deserve death

'In the most ancient time there was a war between but just two factions of such vastness raging through out the Galaxy it causes all the combined current violent exertions all the living, the undead machines and, neverborn spawn of the warp to hide it's collective face away with great shame and say,
"We are but the trifling squabble of uncommitted, convictionless children. No longer can we proudly claim to be the harrowing madness of intractable conflict"

War has a memory both honest and longer than even the lifespan of species and it remembers the greatest of all calamities ever to cause thinking minds to seek to obliterate any who harbored disagreement.
Yes, War remembers when it was first born in the Galaxy and in only one tale of the ancient times is it mention just one time in passing and the few who know of even that think it to be a lie.

For when the C'tan called the Deceiver told the Silent King they had once fought the Old Ones and lost he spoke of an event so real, so profound in it's effect that even he was obligated to not lie of it occurance.....
That war was the first war in our galaxy, when the Even Older Old Ones and Original C'tan became embroiled in the Irreconcilable Disagreement on the nature of Skub.

Where the Deceiver lied was who was for it & who was against it.'

- Opening chapter of The Occulted History of the Great Sundering of Skub

Skub gave birth to all baby boomers, millenials and autisti-- I mean, gen-z children.
Abadoo caused the Rift when he opened a jar of skub, just sayin

<s>One Skub to rule them all.</s> NO SKUB RULES. EVER.

I AM SKUB ETERNAL!!! ALL HERETICS MAY BOW DOWN TO ME AND BE ENDED MERCIFULLY. ANY OTHER HERETICS WILL BE WIPED FROM EXISISTANCE!

I AM CONFUSED BUT ALSO ANGRY

SKARBRAND HATES SKUB

== External Links ==
[https://www.ikea.com/us/en/cat/skubb-series-12555/ Now you can decorate your home with the fanciest skub!]

== Gallery ==
<center><gallery>
File:Skub.GIF|Pandora's <s>Skub</s> <s>'''Shit'''</s> <s>'''DIVINE NECTAR'''</s> Ass cream
File:Proskub.png|<s>disgusting</s> <s>GLORIOUS AND TRUTHFUL</s> <s>FILTHY FALSEHOOD</s> <s>EXCELLENT AND WONDERFUL pro-skub propaganda</s> FILTHY HERESY
File:Antiskub.png|<s>disgusting</s> <s>GLORIOUS AND TRUTHFUL</s> <s>disgusting</s> <s>VALOROUS AND HONEST</s> foolish and worthless anti-skub propaganda
</gallery></center>