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Imperial Guard

2023-05-09T21:33:34Z

2600:387:9:3:0:0:0:51: J O H N

{{Awesome}}
[[File:Macharius Charge.png|500px|thumb|right|And his name struck fear into the hearts of men.]]
{{Topquote|Battle is the most magnificent competition in which a human being can indulge. It brings out all that is best; it removes all that is base. All men are afraid in battle. The coward is the one who lets his fear overcome his sense of duty. Duty is the essence of manhood." "Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men.|George S. Patton}}

{{Topquote|When one has two hundred artillery pieces per kilometer of the frontline, he does not report contact with the enemy or ask for whereabouts. He reports successful breakthroughs and asks for further orders.|Attributed to Aleksandr Vasilevsky}}

{{Topquote|Hey guys, they're called Astra Militarum now!|Game Workshop, shortly before everyone proceeded to ignore them.}}

The '''Imperial Guard''' (officially titled the '''Astra Militarum''' as of [[Warhammer 40,000 6th Edition|6th Edition]], ‘cause fuck your original name if GW can't trademark it), also known as [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device| '''THE WALL OF GUNS''']], are the foot soldiers of the [[Imperium]] in [[Warhammer 40,000]]. They exist only to fight (and die) gloriously in the [[Emprah]]'s name. [[Commissar]]s (like [[Holt]] and [[Ciaphas Cain]]) ensure that they do so regularly, and any cowards or deserters tend to be summarily executed. During the [[Great Crusade]], the Emperor only intended for them to be [[Solar Auxilia|auxilia]] for his [[Space Marines|SPESS MEHRENS]] (and to man masses of tanks, artillery, and aircraft). After [[Horus Heresy|Horus' little tantrum]] and the [[Second Founding|breakup of the Legions]], trillions upon trillions of humans were drafted to make up for the difference. Although these are, for the most part, mere men and women, they have held the line in the Imperium's wars for 10,000 years. Many consider their dogged perseverance in the face of overwhelming odds to be what makes them so balls-to-the-wall [[awesome]].

It is recommended that you put either [https://youtu.be/CIGHCoVzqtk] or [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhqWHIq-aZw] on loop before reading the rest of this article.

Basically, the Imperial Guard is what happens when you remember that quantity has a quality all its own, and that there is no problem that can't be solved via the application of a sufficient level of [[Dakka|firepower]]. While the elite forces of the Imperium gain all the glory, the Imperial Guard wages war on thousands of fronts with or without support. They are the soldiers of Humanity who fight and die in numbers beyond counting.

Without the Imperial Guard, the Imperium could not exist.

==Overview==
It is worth noting that in a universe where opposing armies include:

* Cults of [[Space Marines|genetically-engineered killing machines]];
* Cults of [[Chaos Space Marines|EVIL genetically-engineered killing machines]], with a variety of sorcerous powers;
* [[Ork|Barbaric super-fungi]] that grow in size and number the more you fight them;
* [[Eldar|Creepy space elves]] with psychic powers, incomprehensible technology, and a habit of materializing out of nowhere;
* [[Dark Eldar|EVIL PIRATE creepy space elves]] that literally get off on making others suffer, whose creative use of slaves makes an agonizing death seem merciful;
* [[Harlequins|Extra creepy space elf clowns]] whose motives are obscure even among the rest of the space elves and make it their collective goal to turn mass slaughter into a literal art form;
* [[Tau|Samurai space communists]] with AI-enhanced battlemechs, infinite firepower and [[Kroot|cannibal dinosaurs]] in tow;
* Endless swarms of [[Tyranid|screeching, hyper-evolved space bugs]] that, combined, spew voracious parasites and corrosive acid from more orifices than most forces have bullets;
* Nightmarish [[Genestealer Cult|hybrid abominations]] that infest the darkest corners of your world until they breed enough thralls to overwhelm your armies and summon the aforementioned space locusts;
* [[Daemon|Extradimensional monsters]] that live to [[Khorne|slaughter]], [[Tzeentch|corrupt]], [[Nurgle|infect]], and [[Slaanesh|violate]] mortal bodies, before tearing out their souls to do it all again, but ''much slower'';
* [[Lost and the Damned|Your former friends,]] having forsaken themselves to the above creatures;
* [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Martian Illuminati]] with ancient war machines, a monopoly on modern technology, and religious objections to humans attached to their original limbs;
* [[Adepta Sororitas|Fanatic warrior nuns]] who can heal themselves through prayer;
* [[Inquisition|A shadowy secret police]] who will have you executed for simply blinking wrong;
* [[Imperial Knight|Multi-story bipedal mechs]] bristling with tank-sundering guns from head to man-crushing toe;
* [[Chaos Knight|EVIL Multi-story bipedal mechs]] bristling with tank-sundering guns from head to man-crushing toe;
* [[Necron|Nigh-immortal zombie robots]] that snuff out stars for kicks;
* [[Leagues of Votann|Cyborg midgets]] with the technology you've long since lost, who will never, ''ever'' forget you;

[[File:Trance.jpg|300px|right|thumb|"Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games!"]]
... the foot soldiers of the Imperial Guard take to the field equipped with nothing but [[Flak Armour|flak armor]], [[Lasgun|glorified laser pointers]], a ''highly'' variable amount of training, [[Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer|some toilet paper]], and a pair of Mars-pattern, titanium-plated balls. In truth, a typical Guardsman's equipment is ''significantly'' more effective than the gear fielded by any real-world modern nation. It's just that the threats a Guardsman must face are often incomprehensible in comparison. As such, the Guard makes up the difference with numbers, overwhelming firepower, and sheer nerve.

In many cases the Imperial Guard will function as a sort of galaxy-spanning firefighting force, responding to uprisings, rebellions, and other threats as needed. When a world is threatened by a major invasion, the local PDF is expected use its extensive network of defensive assets to hold the line until external help arrives. In the vast majority of situations, that help will consist of the Imperial Guard. In theory if not always in practice, the arrival of an Imperial Guard army is intended to end any such threats, with or without additional help from specialist formations such as the [[Space Marine]]s and the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]].

It would be a mistake to assume that the Guard's sole purpose is simply to help the PDF hold out until ''even more'' help arrives at some indeterminate point in the future. On the contrary, the Guard's purpose is to ''end the threat''. They are, sometimes quite literally, [[Rough Riders|the cavalry riding to the rescue]].

On that note, there's an important detail to remember here: while the Imperial Guard does indeed perform a defensive role, it is ''also'' the Imperium's primary ground-based ''offensive'' force. When a Crusade is called, it is almost always the Imperial Guard that will provide the vast majority of the Crusade's fighting strength. Depending on the nature of the threat, dozens or even hundreds of regiments will be called up; a fighting strength in the tens of millions would be considered quite ordinary. Vast formations of infantry from varied worlds will be supported by columns of tanks and other armored vehicles, air support, and artillery... very, very large amounts of artillery. The pictures you see in sourcebooks that depict vast numbers of doggedly advancing human soldiers aren't just artistic license- this is ''actually'' how many Guard armies prefer to fight, a sheer wall of firepower stretching from horizon to horizon that nothing can stand against, and against which fancy tactical maneuvering means very little. This is why the Imperial Guard has the nickname, "Hammer of the Emperor."

==Recruitment and Deployment==

Every Imperial world is expected to pay the [[Imperial Tithe]], which is essentially a tax that supports the greater Imperium. This tithe includes the expectation that the world will produce certain goods and resources, that it will comply with Imperial doctrines, and that it will provide a regular levy of soldiers for induction into the Imperial Guard.

The exact amount of soldiery that a world is expected to contribute is based on an arcane formula that even the most wizened member of the [[Administratum]] would struggle to fully explain. Nevertheless, contribute each world must, for a Governor who fails to meet the Tithe will find no sympathy, and risk being branded as a renegade. Aside from this, the quality of the soldiers being contributed is not necessarily important. Many worlds take great pride in drawing new Guard regiments from the best and brightest of their PDF, where such foundings are a matter of great pomp and circumstance. Many of these make a point of contributing Guard levies far in excess of their required tithes. On other worlds, prospective recruits will compete with each other (sometimes bloodlessly, sometimes not) for the right to wage the Imperium's wars. On yet others, the tithe will be filled with undesirables and criminals.

While the exact manner in which a new founding is equipped is not standardized either, it ''is'' expected that the new formation should be ready and able to fight, and the Governor who neglects this requirement risks drawing the ire of the Administratum. Otherwise, the precise character, fighting style, and preferences of the regiment will of course be colored by the world that it was drawn from.

In some cases that are experiencing an active war zone, such as on [[Armageddon]], new foundings will be deployed directly to theaters on their home world. Most often, however, the [[Departmento Munitorum]] will coordinate with the Imperial Navy as to where the regiment goes next. The first stop will often be to a nearby Forge World, where the regiment will receive additional gear, equipment, and vehicles. If they are very lucky, a regiment might even receive one or more super-heavy tanks such as the [[Baneblade]]. All the while the regiment will continue training, while its newly assigned [[Commissar]]s work to stamp out any lingering weakness and disloyalty. Soon enough, the new regiment will find itself deployed in one of the Imperium's endless number of conflicts.

It is important to note that once they are deployed off-world, a Guardsman will never see their home planet again, aside from certain highly rare and unusual exceptions.

A regiment's first taste of combat is often a very difficult crucible, and it is one that many regiments do not survive at all. If it does, then the regiment will continue to be deployed as long as it retains fighting strength. Eventually, a regiment that might once have consisted of thousands of soldiers might be whittled down to only a few hundred survivors, or even down to just a single squad. By then such hard-bitten veterans will often consist of some of the toughest and most experienced soldiers that the Imperial Guard has to offer. These survivors are often folded into another regiment where their talents can be transferred to the greener troops. In other cases, two understrength regiments might be combined to form a completely new regiment with a new founding number. In very rare circumstances, a regiment that has fought with distinction through many, many campaigns will be granted the honor of colonizing a newly captured world. For most guardsmen, this distant and highly unlikely outcome is the only hope for a life after service.

Therefore, although the average frontline Guardsman does not have good odds of surviving his first deployment, some ''do'' survive, and these veteran soldiers may accumulate ''decades'' of experience. They are some of the manliest motherfuckers the Imperium has to offer, capable of putting even the fucking SPESS MEHRENS to shame. Disturbingly, if Imperial Guard tactics advanced from WWI-style warfare (<s>overuse of artillery</s> (modern militaries make use of artillery spam whenever possible) and mass charges against machine guns and tanks) to modern military strategies (such as taking cover and using air/armor/support, which while many elite regiments often do, there’s so much damn variety you can't really have good quality control), the Imperial Guard ''could'' become the most feared army in the whole universe. But '''NO''', that's not [[grimdark]] enough! However, do note that while the Imperium is generally unconcerned with individual casualties, and while some commanders do therefore order their men to charge enemy lines with or without heavy armor/artillery support and regardless of terrain, fluff has also noted that incompetent commanders who are ''wantonly wasteful'' of Imperial resources tend to be weeded out rather quickly by the Commissariat.

Examples of Guardsmen going above and beyond even this inherent badassery, demonstrating the possession of testicles so massive they should be deployed in battle as a separate unit, are plentiful: [[Ollanius Pius]] is one such Guardsman, standing up to fucking [[Horus]] himself (depending on whose canon you prefer). [[Dawn of War]] sees the Blood Ravens running into a pair of Guardsmen who have held their position, without support, in the middle of a combined Chaos/Ork/Eldar invasion, for more than a week. [[Dawn of War II]] has Guardsmen rescued in an earlier mission returning in the finale to provide infantry support while the Blood Ravens launch an attack... on a fucking [[Tyranid]] hive. These same guardsmen (led by the ever awesome [[Merrick|Sergeant Merrick]]) SURVIVE the suicidal mission and fight on for ''ten more years'' against the remnants of the Tyranids/Orks/Eldar. A different group of about 72 loyal Guardsmen also managed to hold out for those ten years. In a frozen wasteland. Surrounded by former comrades taken by Nurgle, bands of Black Legion Chaos Marines, and a growing Daemonic incursion.

Fluff-wise it seems that the Guard's most common methods of war are to use lots of heavy weapons, tanks, and artillery to smash the fuck out of the enemy while Guardsmen mop up the shards of their foe while supported by more heavy weapons, special weapons, and Infantry Fighting Vehicles. So, honestly, the combined arms doctrine of the Imperial Guard is really fucking powerful even without considering their numbers are so vast they could just drown you with their own blood and corpses, and the paper to write the report on for said casualties would be literally not worth the paper. On top of that, their flak armor (which includes flak shirt and flak pants apparently) actually gives pretty good protection against stub weapons and most other mid-tech small arms. Keep in mind that the Imperial Guard are often fighting other humans such as rebels most of the time, who nearly always use stubbers and armor inferior to Guard flak armor. When fighting things that make mince meat of Guardsmen, the Guard tends to utilize concentrations of artillery, air support, tanks, superheavy vehicles, IFVs, and heavy weapons of all kinds to smash the enemy so the infantry merely has to occupy the smoldering crater that once consisted of the enemy's position.

In short... do '''''NOT''''' fuck with the Imperial Guard!

==Standard-Issue Equipment and Knick-Knacks==

It is known that the Imperial Guard is (in)famously known as the dudes in [[Flak Armour|T-shirts]] and [[Lasgun|Flashlights]], but did you know that the 'Guard also carries a bunch of other stuff that may aid his/her's merry journey of murder? Whilst each regiment may differ on what [[count as]] 'standard-issue', what they do share in common however, are a shit ton of equipment that all Guardsmen no matter their background usually lug around with them. These are:

====[[Lasgun]] Weapons Case and Maintenance Kit====
[[File:IIUPLasgun.jpg|400px|right|thumb|Lasgun with accessories.]]
No duh. Your standard-issue flashlight is given to ''all'' Guardsmen upon their first enlistment into the Astra Militarum. Each Lasgun comes inside a weapon's case which in itself contains several accessories inside its maintenance kit such as:

*'''Lasgun''' (Pattern varies): Your standard flashlight you all know and love. The pattern of lasgun varies depending on which regiment you came from, but overall, this is your most trusted friend on the battlefield. Learn to take care of it as it is better to shoot things dead from afar than to kill things up close and personal.
*'''Lasgun Power Pack''': ''THE'' most important part of your Lasgun weapon's case outside of the Lasgun itself. You can't fire a Lasgun if you have no power pack, can you? Each Lasgun always comes equipped with ''one'' power pack to ensure that each weapon is combat-ready from the get-go. The power pack is obviously separated from the Lasgun itself to avoid 'accidental misfires'. In addition to this, each Guardsman is issued with four additional power packs in case the original was either lost, ran out of ammunition, or was damaged.
*'''Long Pattern Bayonet/Combat Knife with Sheath''': Each Lasgun weapon's case comes equipped with the standard-issue butterknife. Like the Lasgun, the knife's pattern varies from regiment to regiment. It always comes in a sheath to prevent accidental self-harm and is always pre-sharpened. Guardsmen can carry the knife as a standalone weapon if they so choose, although some may just attach it to their Lasguns before being forced to bayonet charge a tank. By far the most versatile weapon as it can also be used for non-military roles such as cooking, chopping wood, or making other arts and crafts.
*'''Targeters/Scopes''': Not ''really'' standard-issue but can be requested by your regiment. A targeter or a scope is designed to improve a Guardsmen's accuracy over conventional iron sights. The style of scopes may vary depending on where you're from, but they all serve the same purpose. To be issued a scope, a Guardsman must prove to his superiors that s/he can actually aim for shit as their lensing materials are quite expensive. The ranging accuracy for most scopes/targeters is +/- two metres under most circumstances. The max range of a scope depends on the reflectivity of the target and the environmental conditions at the time of firing. Guardsman who have these neat equipments should always attempt to shoot his/her's target at a 90 degree angle as this is more likely to provide an accurate range (Take note, this is only for conventional Sniper Rifles, Long-Las avoid such a thing due to the nature of lasers). A scope/targeter can have its magnification distance adjusted depending on the shooter's preferences.
*'''Sight Calibrator''': As its name implies, a piece of equipment that allows the Guardsmen to adjust the weapon's sight according to his/her's preference and comfort. May or may not be for a targeting laser attachment, but since no Lasgun actually were seen with such attachments, it can be assumed to be for the standard-issue optic sight. Mostly consists of small tools such as screwdrivers and the like to adjust the aiming reticle, etc.
*'''Sanctioned Cleaning Agent''': As its name implies, it is a bottle of cleaning agent meant to nick away the grime after battle and to improve the lifecycle of the Lasgun alongside your other weapons and tools. Quite important in maintaining the firing lens of a Lasgun as any attached dirt sticking on the Lasgun's lens will flash-vapourise; damaging the lens in the process. Most likely a water-free agent, so you can just dip it on your standard-issue soft-cloth and proceed to clean your weapon so when the day comes for parades, you don't end up looking like a [[murderhobo]].
*'''Oiling Agent''': A small bottle of oil that may or may not overlap with the [[Derp|Bottle of Sacred Oil of Lubrication]], so consider the latter as a spare. An Oiling Agent is used to 'grease-up' your weapons to prevent jamming. Given that the Lasgun has little to no moving parts, it is most likely reserved for your Autopistol.
*'''Bottle of Sacred Unguent of Cleansing''': Somewhat akin to the above mentioned Sanctioned Cleaning Agent. The Bottle of Sacred Unguent of Cleansing is a vial containing a water-free vial that cleanse any dirt or grime on your weapons and equipment. Most likely a superior version of a Cleaning Agent in a sense that it has most likely be 'blessed' to ensure a tip-top shine. Given how religious this bottle sounds, there's definitely a use for this against Warp-like shenanigans such as Nurgle's taint.
*'''Bottle of Sacred Oil of Lubrication''': The aforementioned Bottle of Sacred Oil of Lubrication. Like the Bottle of Sacred Unguent of Cleansing, the Bottle of Sacred Oil of Lubrication is most likely a superior version of your average Oiling Agent that is most likely 'blessed' by a Techpriest. Again, seems to be used against [[Heresy|heretical taint]] whilst also offering better lubrication to your weapons or vehicles.
*'''Tin of Blessed Sealing Wax''': A small metal tin containing solidified sealing wax. It is not a sealing wax meant for Purity Seals however. When heated, the wax would liquefy. One can than pour the liquefied wax to 'fix' a broken piece of equipment or seal a written message for communication purposes.
*'''Blessed Soft-Cloth for Swabbing''': Your standard-issue cleaning cloth the size of a large handkerchief. A relatively smooth cloth that makes it great for either cleaning your tools or lubricating your weapons. One of the most important piece of equipment when maintaining your Lasgun, as without it, wear and tear will suffice.
*'''Holy Toolbox with Repair Instruments''': Each Lasgun weapon's case comes with a secondary case in the complete package. This separate case holds the necessary tools needed in case your Lasgun or other weapon breaks down. The toolbox may contain a wrench, screwdrivers, additional screws, additional batteries, spare electrical equipment, hammers, a saw and spare binding agents.
*'''Spare Lasgun Stock''': A spare Lasgun stock that comes with an engraved icon of faith. In case your current gun stock gets damaged, you got a spare around. May come in different style's of gunstock depending on your both your regiment and preferences. Stock may come in plastic, wood, metal or is completely collapsible, it is up to you to mix-and-match.
*'''Spare Lasgun Barrel''': A spare Lasgun barrel engraved with an icon of true-shot. Like the gunstock, this is a spare in case your Lasgun's lens barrel gets damaged or worn out. This spare is there for when you want to still shoot whilst waiting for the [[Administratum]] to offer you a new one.
<gallery>
File:Power_Pack_Lasgun.PNG|Different styles of Lasgun power packs.
File:Bayonets.PNG|An assortment of bayonets.
File:Scopes.PNG|An assortment of scopes.
</gallery>

====[[Autopistol]]/[[Laspistol]]====
[[File:Autopistol_Image.PNG|200px|right|thumb|A standard Autopistol.]]
The ''secondary'' weapon issued by Guardsmen. Depending on the regiment, a Guardsmen after being issued with his Lasgun, would then be issued his sidearm which can either be a Laspistol or an Autopistol. Like its bigger brother, these pistol also come with its own weapon's case although its maintenance have to be shared with it big brother which comes in everything. These are:

*'''Autopistol/Laspistol''': Depending on the regiment as aforementioned, you may be equipped with either the bang-bang or the pew-pew variety of pistols. They all come cleaned and furbished inside their case.
*'''Autopistol Clip''': Each Autopistol comes equipped with a single <s>clip</s> magazine of bullets alongside five additional magazines as standard. Like the Lasgun, the Autopistol and its magazine is separated to avoid a misfiring. Guardsmen may be issued more magazines for their Autopistols if there is enough stock within the regiment's armoury which can be requested via a form to HR. Just pray the [[Administratum]] arrives in time for a entirely new batch of ammo in case the armoury is emptied out.
*'''Muzzle Rod and Swab''': A cleaning rod with cloth that is meant to clean out your Autopistol or any slug-throwing combustion guns. Definitely not meant for the Lasgun as it technically has no rifling. But for conventional slug-throwers, it may come in handy for maintaining and cleaning out any grime stuck inside the barrel; improving its lifespan and weapons safety.
*'''Laspistol Power Pack''': Unlike the Lasgun, it seem that the Laspistol is only offered one power pack to come along with the product. Like its big brother, the power pack is the most important part of the Laspistol and it also comes separate to avoid misfiring. The power pack itself is smaller and weigh dramatically less than its larger brother.

====[[Grenades & Explosives|Grenades]]====
[[File:Frag_Grenade_Internal.PNG|120px|right|thumb|An internal of a Frag Grenade.]]
Like all regiments, each Imperial Guardsmen is equipped with several grenades. The type of grenade may differ depending on what squad the Guardsmen would be enlisted as. All Guardsmen will be trained with practice grenades before they are entrusted in throwing around these explosives around. These grenades are:

*'''Frag Grenades''': In mix-standard teams within a [[Infantry Squad]], the Frag Grenade is the most common type of grenade a Guardsmen would be issued. S/he will be given four grenades maximum, although more can be requested via filling out a request form and with approval from senior officers.
*'''Krak Grenades''': For teams specialising in anti-armour offensives. They will be issued a Krak Grenade instead. Like their frag counterparts, four grenades seem to be the optimum for each Guardsmen.
*'''Melta Bomb/Demolition Charge''': For [[Breacher Squad]]s, one member may be in charged with a single Melta Bomb or Demolition Charge for anti-tank and demolition purposes. They are heavier than usual and require special training and expertise to master. Not really standard-issue all things considered.
<gallery>
Grenades_and_Bombs.PNG|List of explosives your typical Joe would carry.
</gallery>

====Armour and Clothing====
[[File:Uniform.PNG|150px|right|thumb|Fig 1.1 Your average Guardsmen. A dude in a shirt.]]
Outside of his weapons, clothing is the most important piece of equipment that every Guardsmen must have. You ain't gonna go out fighting on Valhalla butt-ass naked now would you? Again, the type and style of clothes differ by regiment. Some like the [[Scintillan Fusiliers]] treat their fatigues with higher value than their lasguns whilst others like the [[Catachan Jungle Fighters]] scoffs at fatigues and go completely bare-chested. The list of attire are:

*'''Combat Fatigue/Dress Uniform''': The first piece of clothing that nearly all Guardsmen wear. Uniforms or fatigues are mass produced in order that the countless number of Guard regiments will be equipped quickly and efficiently. Typically, uniforms or fatigues are made from hard-wearing fabrics designed to resist all types of environments passively. They need to be proven hardy in the field and resistant to snags and tears. Nevertheless, overtime, clothing just simply deteriorate either through combat or frequent usage so spares are always up for order. In peacetime or in parades, they can be used to show off the regiment's discipline and all-round [[Awesome|awesomeness]].
*'''Shirt and Undershirt''': Your ''actual'' t-shirts. Literally. This is what most Guardsmen wear beneath their fatigues or uniforms. They are made from light fabric like cotton or linen and is designed for maximum comfort. The Catachan Jungle Fighters if they are forced to wear something on their torso, would usually opt for a shirt rather than fatigues to show off their bulky muscles.
*'''Flak Armour''': You know'em, you love'em. Everyone's favourite cardboard armour is issued throughout the Imperium. Like all things in the Guard, the style of Flak Armour differs from regiment to regiment. But overall they are the most important piece of equipment outside the Lasgun as the Flak Armour provides ''some'' form of protection. Whilst it won't do too hot against direct impact from anything above WW2-levels of firearms, it does provide an adequate form of defense against shrapnel. Given that in modern warfare, artillery shrapnel is one of the highest form of casualties, this is actually quite important for the Guard.
*'''Helmet with Micro Bead Pick-Up''': Each Guardsmen is issued with a standard-issue Flak helmet with micro beads attached. Other than for head protection, the micro bead is important for communication purposes without the Guardsmen making a sound. Micro beads essentially translates the vibrations of your throat and transmit that as sound without saying a single word. Very useful for stealth operations.
*'''Dog Tags''': Works the same way we have here today. A metal necklace that shows the Guardsman's regiment, squad, name, date of birth and place of birth. Whilst most Guardsman would never really get the chance to have their dog tags retrieved once they kick the bucket, their superiors should at least have the acumen to dot down who they lost over the years and send it to the Administratum for records keeping.
*'''Socks''': No sane Guardmen want to go out in the battlefield with chilblains or frostbite on their dinky toes now do they? Each Guardsmen is issued four pairs of socks that are dried and neatly packed. Each pair of sock needs to be washed if possible and dried to prevent trench foot or any other feet-related ailments. Socks are made of some form of thick, warm fabric like wool or cotton.
*'''Undergarment''': Your [[/d/|bras, panties and underwear]]. Used to keep your manly and womanly bits from flailing around awkwardly in your trousers and to keep them supported and warm. Like socks, they need to be washed as soon as possible to avoid cases of crotch rot.
*'''Greatcoat/Rain Overalls''': Some Guard regiments are known to issue greatcoats or rain overalls to either keep their cannon fodder warm and dry during winter and the like. They are made of thick, heavy and sometimes waterproof fabric to ensure maximum warmth. The complete opposite of the shirt. [[Valhallan Ice Warriors]], [[Vostroyan Firstborn]]s, [[Armageddon Steel Legion|Armageddon Steel Legionnaires]] and the [[Death Korps of Krieg]] love the shit out of them.
*'''Combat Boots and Laces''': Standard-issue military boots meant to be rugged enough to survive in nearly any ground. Each boot is fashioned to ensure comfort for the Guardsmen's feet and comes in three sizes. Each boot is ensured to be waterproof and hard wearing, with each pair expected to last for a while. Like nearly everything else, a combat boot may differ from regiment to regiment. Cadia for example have boots made of rigid hard leather that protects the upper ankle and steel plates that protect the shins; they are called ankle-breakers. Meanwhile, Valhalla favours a rigid, heavily insulated boot with particularly sharp crampon-like grips on the soles. Whilst Attila and Tallarn favour a flexible-soled, lightweight boot that allows the foot to breathe through semo-permeable membranes within the boot's fabric. All combat boot boxes comes with additional spare laces in case the original was damaged or lost.
*'''Leg Gaiters''': Tl;dr, these are leg warmers. Largely used during snowy operations and therefore, are popular for snowy regiments like the Valhallans, leg gaiters offer an additional form of warmth around the ankle regions as a normal sock ain't cutting it. Not really that standard, but the Administratum just slaps every Guardsmen with one just in case.
*'''Webbing''': Every Guardsmen going into battle requires quite a lot of kit to carry around with. To do so in a ergonomic factor, each Guardsmen would be issued a form of combat webbing that allows a great deal of equipment to be layered onto the chest rig or backpack whilst leaving the arms free to fight. Typically, the front face of the webbing is fitted with pouches whilst the inside is fitted with mesh that forms a map pocket and has space for an additional two standard-issue Lasgun power packs. Combat webbing can be worn over Flak Armour or alone and has several hooks for grenades or entrenching tools.
*'''Belt and Holsters''': Every Guardsmen is given a standard-issue leather belt and a holster to ensure their big boy/girl pants don't accidentally drop down to their knees during inspection day and that their sidearm stays in place. Useful to avoid a wardrobe malfunction but also useful for the local [[Commissar]] or officer to use one as a makeshift flogging equipment.
*'''Bandolier''': Whilst regiments are all given bandoliers to hold additional ammunition, some regiments like the Catachan Jungle Fighters are obsess with them. Being a bunch of [[LARP|Rambo cosplayers]] is no surprise given how useful a bandolier is for holding additional ammo whilst looking [[Awesome|absolutely baller in the process.]]
*'''Field Rucksack with Straps''': Everyone's companion. This large canvas sack backpack holds all your necessary goodies to ensure a Guardsmen isn't completely fucked on duty. It can provide enough room for MREs, field equipment, trenching equipment, spare ammo, repair equipment and sleeping materials. You don't wanna lose one.
<gallery>
Flak_Chest.PNG|Chest piece of a Flak Armour.
Helmet.PNG|Flak Helmet, standard issue.
Micro_Bead.PNG|Micro Bead, comes standard with said helmet.
Boots_and_Sock.PNG|Combat boots and socks. Number one vector of the [[Poxwalkers|Walkingpox.]]
Webbing.PNG|Webbing, for when you want to [[LARP]] as Rambo.
Backpack.PNG|Field rucksack/backpack carrying all your needs.
</gallery>

====Survival Equipment====
[[File:UpliftingPrimer.jpeg|150px|right|thumb|Everyone's favourite used toilet paper.]]
Guns and armour isn't the only thing a Guardsmen needs. Here, all forms of survival equipment is important for him/her to survive beyond the safety of civilization. Such equipment includes:

*'''[[Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer]]''': Everyone's favourite standard-issue <s>toilet paper</s> booklet. Every Guardsman is issued one and they are expected to read this thing down to the T. Every piece of survival tips and tricks, alongside useless propaganda is written down in the book. A mix-bag all things considered but is better than nothing. It is also the ''one'' piece of equipment that a Guardsman must '''NEVER''' bring withim him/her on the battlefield for fear of it falling to the enemy's hands. Although to be honest, what useful info they may glean over would be as important as real-life toilet paper.
*'''[[Imperial Munitorum Manual]]''': Not as common as the Primer but orders of magnitude more useful. The Imperial Munitorum Manual is a booklet that goes in-detail towards the functionality of the [[Departmento Munitorum]], the list of equipment and how to maintain them, the list of punishments expected if breached, and the hierarchical structure of the Imperium wit-large. Again, not as common as the Primer, but when available, it usually comes with the complete package.
*'''Combat Ration Packs''': Hmmm...sweet lovely food. Every Guardsmen is expected to carry around five units of Combat Ration Packs (CRP). They are designed to sustain a soldier directly engaged in combat or under military training. Useful when normal food services aren't available, their long shelf-life and caloric-dense nutrition makes them an important part of a Guardsmen's survival. The CRP consists of a full meal packed in a flexible meal bag. The full bag is lightweight and easily fits within a Guardsmen's pockets. Each meal bag contains a nutrient-rich compound as well as foods designed to enhance the energy levels and stamina of a Guardsmen. Whilst it is theoretically safe to eat from the get-go, most Guardsmen like theirs cooked. CRP can be cooked traditionally or through a flameless heater via chemical reactions with water.
*'''Portable Hexamine Stove/Flameless Heater Pack''': When cooking CRPs or food caught by the Guardsmen themselves. They can cook their food through a standard-issue collapsible and portable Hexamine stove. These miniature stoves use solid fuel to heat up the food or beverage until the Hexamine tablets are used up. Some are also fitted with an adapter to hold a canteen or cup. Each stove comes with eight tablets in a waxed box, although sometimes a tinder box is issued as well. Although there are complaints that the fuel might be toxic or smells like shit, most Guardsmen can't complain too much as it is a convenient way to cook food on the go. If behind enemy lines, the light coming from the stove or the smoke used to burn up gathered materials may attract enemies. So a Guardsmen is also issued the aforementioned flameless heater pack that uses water as a pyrotechnic heating mechanism which lasts for fifteen minutes. Simply put the meal bag inside the heater pack, fill it with water and shake it until it chemically activates.
*'''Magnocular''': A binocular by any other name. The magnocular is meant for surveying purposes. Some magnoculars are compact and lightweight, but most are bulky and heavy. Magnoculars offer high light transmission and optical performance, enabling a Guardsman to view objects at a great distance away. Magnoculars are rubber armoured, shockproof and waterproof and can withstand the harshest battlefield conditions.
*'''Rebreather/Gasmask with Mk VIII Filter''': Gas masks for all intents and purposes. Rebreathers are used in environments that are too toxic to breath in. Depending on the type of engagement, some rebreathers merely covers the mouth and nose in near-Terran like atmospheres, but others like the gasmask with the Mk VIII Filter that filters out toxic particles cover the entire face in truly hell hole conditions. The Kriegers and the folks from the Steel Legion has an absolute hard-on for these things.
*'''Tent Kit''': Each Guard Squad is expected to have one member be the tent carrier. He/she carries the necessary materials to build a tent for everyone to sleep in. The tent kit includes the tent, several collapsible stainless steel poles, tensile rope, pins, a hammer and adhesive tape to fix any potential damages to the tent. The kit is designed to be as lightweight as possible whilst still being big enough to house a three-five men team.
*'''Medi-Pack''': Every Guardsmen is issued a portable medi-pack which is something like a convenient narthecium in a bag. Every Guardsmen is expected to be trained in various ways to alleviate injuries of various kinds through military practise although each squad must have a designated medic. The design of the medi-pack can range from a small medical kit to a complex scanning devices depending on the original source of the regiment and the planet's technological base. Basic medi-pack kits will usually contain drugs and bandages to treat a variety of injuries and illnesses, such as cataplasm patches, contraseptics, gauze/bandages, sterilised vein clamps, lotion of embalm, phials of morphia X4 (Space morphine), sterilising fluid of cleaning, cleansed surgical grapple, sanctioned insect repellent, and [[Anal circumference|blessed lotions, acid, alkali, medicinal tonics, tablets and internal cleansers for enema administration.]] More advance models might include a diagnostic Cogitator with bio-scanner and probes to determine the patient's ailments. The most advanced types, available to the elite of the Imperium, can include cast sprays, tox wands, synthskin applicators and more.
*'''Surveyor Gear''': Surveyor gears are piece of equipment used for tracking and mapping purposes so you know where the hell you're going and avoid accidentally entering the firing range of a Basilisk. The most common type of gear are Auspex Surveyor Units that can register varying levels of background radiation, infrared signatures and electromagnetic emissions to discover enemy troops. They are simple to operate and require only rudimentary intelligence to read. All a Guardsman has to do is simply point the Surveyor Unit in the general direction and pull the trigger to tell him/her the information to his/her's squad. The screen then displays the machine's findings as coloured dots on the slate (Red for hostile, blue for friendlies) in the various range bands (Ten metre increments).
*'''Orientation Gear''': The ''other'' piece of equipment that is designed in making sure your average Joe won't end up stumbling inside a Tyranid's nest. Orientation gears are your maps and compasses. They allow a Guardsman a better understanding on the battlefield they are on and where to go. The compass is accurate, rugged and reliable, being both waterproof and shockproof due to being encased in steel with metal hinges. The compass also comes with a built-in magnifying lens, finger loop and cord lanyard. Particularly 'advanced' models of compass may be fitted with chemical fluorescence vials, allowing the compass to be read at night.
*'''Mess Kit''': The things your average Joe eats from. Each mess kit from the Guard is constructed from enamelled steel and contains everything they need to prepare and serve. They are small, lightweight and very portable and their design differs from regiment to regiment. A Cadian version for example, contains a skillet, a small kettle, a plate, a cup and a Swiss army knife-style cutlery. The handles of these appliances are foldable to save space and can be detached to use with other cookware. The lids of each container can be used for preparing, cooking and/or eating and usually come in two or three pieces. Moreover, to complement the kit, Cadian mess kits use a specially moulded cup that fits over the bottom of the standard litre canteen for anything that requires a deep pot such as boiling water.
*'''Sleeping Equipment''': Do I have to spell it out? Each Guard regiment is given a quilted sleeping bag with blanket that tapers towards the end. Most of these bags are quilted with feathers that provide insulation against the cold, although some regiments is known to use synthethic materials instead. The outer layers of a sleeping bag must provide a high degree of tearing strength and must be waterproof. Some sleeping bags may incorporate hoods and are sometimes embellished with extra layers to allow [[/d/|more than one person to share the bag.]]
*'''Hygiene Kit''': No one and their mothers want to have a Guard regiment smelling like an [[Ogryn]] during parade day, so every Guardsmen is expected to be given a hygiene kit to look down and proper. Each kit comes with a bar of hard soap, dry scrub brush, shaving brush, razors, abrasive tooth cleaning paste and a tooth brush, alongside a sharpening stone to sharpen a Guardsman's bayonet for shaving purposes. Moreover, the kit comes with delousing powder that can be used to eradicate most forms of parasites or leeches. Although care must be taken as the powder is caustic and shoud be avoided around the groin or eyes. Some hygiene kits such as the Cadian pattern also includes a anti-fungal powder and anti-lice gel that should be employed regularly to ensure the prevention of the spread of diseases.
*'''Entrenching Tools''': Everyone's favourite shovel is listed under here. Entrenching tools are multi-purposed and can be used for a wide variety of things. This includes building trenches, planting seeds for food, burrying bodies or using it as a makeshift weapon. They have a foldable stock which allows a Guardsman to fit them in a nice, compact form and save space. The most well known of these shovels are the [[Miscellaneous_Weapons#9-70 Entrenching Tool|9-70 shovel]] which has its edge either sharpened or serrated. Kriegers hug these in their sleep.
*'''Hand Axe''': A [[Basic Close Combat Weapons#Axe|small hand axe]] is given to each Guardsmen for largely non-military purposes such as chopping wood, clearing trees or vines and cutting up meat. Pretty damn versatile and can be used as a makeshift weapon in case your bayonet breaks or you run out of ammunition. It is often made of stainless steel or ceramics.
*'''Lamp-Pack''': Each Guardsmen is also issued a lamp-pack. Now this may resemble a typical lamp to your typical flashlight (No, not ''that'' [[Lasgun|Flashlight]], ''the other one''). It is a primary light source for night patrols and is often powered via batteries. Should not be used behind enemy lines for obvious reasons.
*'''Anti-Contaminants''': Pretty important stuff when it comes to purifying the waters or killing parasites. Whilst each Guardsman is expected to carry a canteen filled with water, sometimes you run out and the next avaliable source of water is in the toilets. This is where this kit comes in handy. To avoid sudden case of [[Nurgle|explosive dirrahea,]] each Guardsman is issued with water purification tablets made from salt in the kit which would kill most virulent pathogens. Although drinking such purified water is unpleasant (Think soda water with the taste of salt), it is better than the alternative. The kit also contains vials of iodine which when taken orally, prevents 99% of the damage to the thyroid gland before being exposed to radiation.
<gallery>
Ration_Packs.PNG|Combat ration packs. Yum yum.
Collapsible_Stove.PNG|Portable hexamine stove, a convenient way to heat up your instant noodles.
Magnoculars.PNG|Magnoculars. I spy with my little eye.
Rebreather.PNG|Rebreathers, for when you're finding it a bit difficult to breathe.
Gas_Mask_Filter.PNG|A gas mask, for when you're breathing in [[Krieg]].
Medi-Pack.PNG|A medi-pack with its accessories.
Medi-Pack_Model.JPG|Krieg medi-pack model.
Surveyor_Gear.PNG|A surveyor gear, the motion tracker of 40k.
Orientation_Gear.PNG|An orientation gear console.
Compass.PNG|A compass, part of the orientation gear.
Map_IG.PNG|A map, another part of the orientation gear.
Mess_Kit.PNG|A Cadian issued mess kit.
Hygiene_Kit.PNG|A hygiene kit with its complimentaries.
9-70 Entrenching Tool.PNG|The 9-70 Entrenching Tool, everyone's favourite shovel.
Anti-Contaminants.PNG|Anti-Contaminants with all its accessories.
</gallery>

==Fluff and stuff==

Dan Abnett and the Guard’s latest Codex turned the IG into gods of mechanized warfare, though they still suck compared to 8-foot-tall Daemonic killing machines with chainaxes. To be fair, though, that's like comparing a sedan to a tank. How are you NOT supposed to suck against things that can slice through meter-thick speshul-steel armor like so much cheese?

The cold, hard truth of the matter is that the lowest currency in the Imperium is human life. Whereas the modern day commander would sacrifice expensive equipment (a cruise missile ain't cheap) to save even a single life, in the grim darkness of the far future, emphasis on civilian morale and "leave no man behind" ideals would screw up an already overtaxed bureaucratically fucked Munitorium. Instead, commanders do risk assessment. They're not going to devote resources just to save one lowly grunt if they will expend resources more expensive in return. Although to be fair, commanders who make these decisions know the moral implications of what they're doing while the Imperium treats this as a perfectly normal act.

[[File:Lord Solar Macharius.jpg|250px|left|thumb|"The meaning of victory is not to defeat your enemy but to destroy him, to eradicate him from living memory, to leave no remnant of his endeavors, to crush utterly his every achievement and remove from all record his every trace of existence. From that defeat no enemy can ever recover. That is the meaning of victory."]]

A bit of maths, if you will. According to one calculation of the frequency of Hive Worlds, there are 32,380 Hive Worlds in the Imperium. The average population of these worlds is around 200 billion each. We put these together and we get 6.476E15 (6,476,000,000,000,000 or 6.476 Quadrillion) people on Hive worlds ALONE. Eventually there would be more human babies than there would be lasguns coming out of the Forge World assembly lines. So now you see why humans are worth so little. But this also means that once they get their ass in gear and onto the battlefield, they ALWAYS win, because they have practically unlimited manpower and resources. Compare it to water bashing against rocks. A few gallons won't do jack, but countless billions of tonnes crashing down on it WILL destroy it in a surprisingly short amount of time. Apply actual tactics, and it becomes [[rape|even more effective]] (Do keep in mind, it's not like they commit trillions of troops to one battle. The Imperium frequently has to withdraw, but it's like saying "We lost the battle, BUT NOT THE WAR!").

In fact, it is point-blank stated numerous times that guardsmen are way cheaper than their lasguns, because there are far more Hive Worlds to ''produce'' humans than there are Forge Worlds to produce lasguns. And to add more grimdark, the Imperium lost numerous forge worlds and mining worlds during the [[Time of Ending]], so there are even fewer lasguns and cardboard jackets coming from assembly lines. The [[Death Korps of Krieg]] have a specific guy who runs around battlefields shooting the wounded and collecting their gear (as well as blood and organs to fix those who still can be saved to fight next day).

Sometimes this creates a disparity with other parts of the setting, as an example, games and art with Hive Gangers make it clear that they can be better equipped and armed than Guardsmen, including varieties of ammunition (such as exploding bullets) and [[Rage|fucking powered exoskeletons and thunder/power weapon equivalents]].

Think of the Red Army from the Hollywood movie [[wikipedia:Enemy at the Gates|Enemy at the Gates]]: Soviet Russia there had a fuckton of soldiers to draw from, but many were not issued spare ammunition or even rifles, and were expected to loot supplies off dead bodies. On an individual level the Germans had the obvious advantage, but send in enough cannon fodder to keep them pinned inside they city, then cut them off, and they eventually cracked.

But what the Imperium does have going for itself is the individual heroism of its protectors. The Guard bears countless heroes, without whom the Imperium would have fallen ages ago. Notable heroes of the Imperial Guard include: [[Ollanius Pius]], [[Straken]], [[Creed|CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED]], [[Lord Solar Macharius]], [[Ciaphas Cain|Ciaphas Cain HERO OF THE IMPERIUM]], [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs]], [[Yarrick]], [[Sly Marbo|SLY FUCKING MARBO]], [[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt| Colonel-Commissar fething Ibram Gaunt]] and countless others. These extraordinary men and women inspire the masses around them to truly heroic deeds, and through those deeds, ensure that the Imperium will never falter. Which is kind of weird since the setting is supposed to be one in which everyone is worthless and heroes have no impact.

==Play Style==
[[File:Glory.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Men of the Brimlock Eleventh, fighting on Voor against Orks. Note the [[Judge Dredd]] pattern frown.]]

The Imperial Guard are notorious for their SIGAOD methodology: Shooty Imperial Guard Army Of Doom for the less than nerdy. The basic lasguns are downright pathetic, but can [[Dakka|still be effective if used en masse]], and we mean ''en masse''. The effect is a little like how cavemen throwing rocks could still be a threat to fully armored knights. It only takes one lucky shot and they don't stop shooting until they get lucky. Scientifically speaking, the lasguns are strong enough that they damage most materials, even Space Marine powered armor. It's just so minor against most foes that it doesn't matter. Until you get a hundred guys shooting at one target. Then it matters pretty damn quickly. Add in special weapons and heavy weapons and indirect fire like mortars all blazing away at an enemy and... yeah. Also, a lasgun used with precise aiming is quite lethal as you can devastate any vulnerabilities of a target easily. For example, the Vostroyan Firstborn are famous for their great precision and it shows in the massive kill-counts they rack-up. Who the fuck knows why that isn't a requirement for Guardsmen but it's probably because some goober in charge didn't notice and so never mentioned it in a memo to who-cares.

The IG has loads of vehicles. ''Loads'' of vehicles. Most of them are fairly cheap and pretty good for what you pay for, so it is quite easy for IG armies to have half a dozen vehicles or more in a medium-sized game. There are 4 principal IG ground vehicles of note:
* First is the [[Chimera Transport|Chimera]], which is the basic IG troop transport. In modern terms, it would be considered an Infantry Fighting Vehicle, not a mere APC. It is not particularly fast, but it is reasonably durable, it has good firepower, it's cheap, and the passengers can still shoot while inside. Bread and butter. It's also used as the chassis for various other vehicles. Overall it's far more useful than the [[Rhino]].
* The second is the iconic [[Leman Russ Battle Tank]]. It is in every way a solid, dependable warhorse. Key features include the BFG on the turret (that can potentially fire twice per turn as of 8th Edition), the optional heavy weapon sponsons, and the completely exposed engine in the rear. Apparently, they ran out of badass when they designed it. It is a very tough nut to crack.
* Third is the [[sentinel|Sentinel]]. It's a support walker, and while not generally as effective as the other big 3, it earns its place by virtue of utility. The sentinel can serve as a reliable escort and scout while also providing useful fire support. Featuring a decent variety of weapon options, it is also a cheap way to add Hunter-Killer missiles. It's hard to go wrong by taking a Sentinel.
* The last vehicle of note is the [[Basilisk Artillery Gun|Basilisk]]. Apparently, some tech-priest decided to take a Chimera, rip out the turret and troop compartment, and bolt on the biggest piece of artillery he could fit on it. The Earthshaker Cannon is far more powerful than even the BFG they stuck on the Leman Russ and has much longer range. No game of WH40k has been played where a target has been out of range of the Basilisk.

The four vehicles above are only a small selection of what the Guard has to offer, but they are all pretty reliable workhorses for most builds and strategies. Most other vehicles are specialized variants of the above, being largely situational units.

Let's not forget the Deathstrike Missile, which GW used to give UNLIMITED RANGE. Players have called up GW stores the next town over and told them that they're dropping a Deathstrike in the middle of whatever battle is closest, and they've accepted. ''The Range is 200" as of 8th edition, but 16 feet is still ridiculous.''

Also of note is 6th Edition's contribution of flyer units. The IG has the most non-apocalypse flyer units in 40k, and while some of them are absolutely useless for anything but flavor, some of them kick all kinds of ass. Triple twin-linked Lascannon, twin-linked Punisher Gatling cannons, or a flying tank-busting mega-bolter kinds of ass to be specific. Rape from above.

In summary, the Imperial Guard wins by having firepower, cannon fodder, and lots of both, transported in a massive variety of [[METAL BOXES]].

Unfortunately for the Guard, though, the Imperial Navy has a bad habit of taking ships that were designed to launch atmospheric craft in support of the Guard (such as Marauders) and instead sticks void combat attack craft inside (such as Furies) them. The result of this is painfully obvious if you're a Guardsman on the ground. Not to say they don't have air support, but that their air support has a presence that is completely at odds with the number of atmospheric fighters and bombers a ship can carry. The Navy literally fits whatever atmospheric fighters and bombers they can into whatever excess space remains after putting their Furies and Starhawks into hangers designed for holding countless Lightnings, Thunderbolts, Marauders, and Avengers, instead. Grimdark? Yep. Thanks to [[Roboute Guilliman]]'s reforms, the inability of Guard to fight at maximum efficiency (or make it to their destination in time without borrowing civilian transport ships) is kinda the point - it makes revolt much harder, and he didn't care if countless Imperium worlds would go to shit thanks to this, to exclude the possibility of [[heresy]] was much more important. Of course, the reason why a third of the Imperial Army rebelled was due to the Imperium violently conquering their worlds. Fortifying and consolidating conquests post-Heresy would have helped prevent rebellion and Administratum control (it was efficient back then) would have prevented the populace from feeling rebellious because their lives would be great. Damaging the Guard only prevented them from doing their job and really, any rebellious Guard regiments would be (and usually are) quickly annihilated by the loyalists surrounding them. Generally, they steal transports and Chaos forges provide plenty of aircraft for them. Defeating the point of weakening the Imperial Guard and actually making rebel regiments stronger.

Enter the Hydra. The only tank designed to take out aircraft. That is BADASS. Screw the navy. Hell, some regiments have a Leman Russ for every infantry squad! Do that with Thunderbolts or Lightnings in addition to the Russ and... yeah, epic stomp.

It's not inaccurate to think of tanks in the Guard as the actual infantrymen and as the footsloggers as supplemental.

So what's the catch? First thing, the Guard are quite good for what you pay for point-for-point, but they aren't exactly renowned for their individual resilience in the same way Astartes or Necrons are: Guardsmen are just T3 and 1W with a measly 5+ Sv provided by their flak vests, so most anti-infantry fire will turn them into red paste. This effectively requires you to bring infantry in bulk; in most other armies (Orks and Tyranids not withstanding), 70 infantry models would be a fairly large amount but for the Guard, that's a paltry figure and you can reasonably expect all of those guys to be dead by the end of round two. Their tanks fare somewhat better - the Leman Russ is their iconic mainstay and has T8 and 12W and a nice +2 Sv so it can shrug off a lot more than the flimsy infantry squads, but lacking any native invuls or FNP or other tricks to mitigate damage, the tanks will still go boom if dedicated anti-tank concentrates hits on them.

As anti-infantry massacre your squads in short order and anti-tank wrecks your vehicles in short order, this encourages a combined-arms approach to play. As in modern military strategy in real life, synergy between different arms working together is vital to your success. The Imperial Guard suffer greatly from good target selection on the enemy's part and it can be tricky to deny their efforts. Sadly this means the Guard are an army where you can still lose even if you do everything right. For example, should an Eldar player snipe your key officer with Rangers, blow up your artillery with Fire Dragons or get some Banshees or Wraithblades in your infantry line, you are in deep... and even one of those things happening can ruin your game in the long run (Eldar due to their extreme specialization are perfectly placed to exploit destroying Imperial Guard keystone units which is why they are traditionally a bad matchup for Guard, but it's not just them, many other armies definitely have the tools to put you in this situation). Ultimately, Guard is an army where you have a unit that can answer any situation but you'll have to get used to the idea of taking casualties and making sacrifices, and get smart at picking which vital unit is ''least'' vital to your long-term success.

That, and close combat. Unless you mob the enemy in bodies, buff your infantry to the point where they can be somewhat competent, or use Ogyrns/Bullgyrns, anything remotely optimized for close combat will go through your infantry line like shit through a goose. Guardsmen with proper support can ''sometimes'' handle low-tier TEQs like Guardians, Fire Warriors and Termagaunts but then it's a wasted effort - Guardsmen are much better in shooting, and any Eldar or Tau player using these units in melee should really just give up and play a Khorne army.

==Steel Balls, Then and Now==
[[File:Marines and ig.jpg|thumb|The Imperial Guard back in the [[Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader|Rogue Trader]] days, a Guardsman pulling a wounded Space Marine to safety, proving they were badass even back in the first edition. <s>holy shit is that a [[Squat]] in the background</s>|250px]]
In the ancient days of /tg/ before the Great Purge of 2009, the running meme for the Guard was that they had "steel balls", and it was well-deserved. In 4th edition and most editions prior, the Guard were stuck in the awkward position of being the Imperium's first line of defense, but were also obligated to be objectively worse than everyone at everything. The Guard were like the little brothers to the Space Marines, and when the Marines got a tank that had spearheaded human dominance for millennia, the Guard got a hand-me-down tank that used to be a tractor. This constant relegation, coupled with the Guard's system of shooting anyone who backed down from a fight, gained them a reputation as being patently badass against all odds. Everyone was a bully to them, and yet they stood up tall and spat in every bully's face!

But in 5th edition, Robin Cruddace took the helm for writing the Imperial Guard, and since it was his personal army and these were the days of "Spiritual Liege" writing, the Guard have shaped into bullies themselves. Since that time, the Guard have been able to field some of the most devastating weapons the game has to offer, with the largest armored battalions, to create some of the most frustrating meta environments possible. Tanks variants were also introduced that allowed the Leman Russ to escape the thumb of the Space Marines, so the "little brother" stigma came to a close. In fact it's now treated as a major crunch advantage to have access to some of the Guard's armory and design structure, and any competitive list will take the Guard meta into consideration. It's a foregone conclusion that they'll be in the upper tiers of play.

While it is logical that Space Marines would become an auxiliary to the Guard given the lore, and their sheer numbers set victory by attrition to be assured in the long run, the factions that would rival them based on the stories (though would lose strategically due to Imperial manufacturing power and organization) haven't held up well on the table. Orkz, the most militant and numerous combatants in the galaxy, have spent many long years suffering from poor accuracy and inane tactical pigeon-holes. It was, for example, standard procedure for Ork players to kill tanks by punching them because it's easier to have Orkz run after a moving vehicle than it is to get Tank Bustaz to shoot straight. As for Tyranids, the other race beyond numbers - Cruddace was allowed to write their codex and they paid dearly for it. For the better part of a decade, the bugs have also been using limited options to jury-rig solutions to basic problems that appear in every conventional 40k game.

[[Bullshit|Over time, people quit talking about how "badass" the Guard were.]] They aren't really underdogs in lore or crunch, and it's difficult to think of them as "bold" when you watch a Guard player table your army in a single round of shooting. If anything, it's the Orkz and everyone else who are brave as all hell for standing up to the bastards, or too stupid to stop, or both. Although, if you became a Guardsman you’d probably go insane quickly from the horrific space monsters and daemonic shit. So, still balls of steel. And their kit and tanks are so damn cool.

==Notable Figures of the Imperial Guard==
[[File:Stormtrooper vs Ork.jpg|250px|right|thumb|Who's "ded 'ard" NOW, you grammatically-challenged cucumber?!]]
*[[Ciaphas Cain]] - '''HERO OF THE IMPERIUM''' (Charming Commissar in the Harry Flashman/Edmund Blackadder tradition.)
*<s>Colonel-Commissar</s> <s>Lord Militant Commander</s> [[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt|First Lord Executor Militant Ibram Gaunt]] - (Rambo + Sharpe + 40,000 king of awesome) Main protagonist of Gaunt's Ghosts, and a REAL hero of the Imperium, [[grimdark|unjustly doomed to lowly obscurity]].
*[[Commissar Yarrick]] - Old one-eye. Saviour of Armageddon, twice. Known for having an Ork Klaw on his arm, having a personal Baneblade, and a [[gay|bizarre]] relationship with the ork warlord [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]].
*[[Holt|Commissar Holt]] - Awesome cinematics are awesome, from Warhammer 40,000: Final Liberation. Don't you dare to simply call him Holt. {{BLAM}}
*[[Commissar Dan]] - "But Commissar Dan says we're on a blaze for glory run!" "Commissar Dan is a ''maniac''! Never listen to anything he says." Also canon thanks to FFG.
*[[Commissar Fuklaw]] - Currently in service with the [[Angry Marines]].
*[[Commissar Raege]] - Currently trolling [[Space Marines]].
*[[General Sturnn]] - Manly damn old son of a bitch, from [[Dawn of War#Winter Assault|Dawn of War: Winter Assault]]. Struggles with grammar because of the grit in his teeth.
*[[Castor|Lord General Castor]] - Sporting a manly mustache and known for having a trophy room full of Tyranid heads.
*[[Ollanius Pius]] - The catalyst for the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor]] finally ''erasing'' [[Horus]] out of existence. (Erased from canon at one point, later restored, and as of the Horus Heresy book series the fluff for him is a bit complicated, but he's still awesome in his own way.)
*[[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs]] - Another manly bastard, <s>famous for "losing" a hundred [[Baneblade]]s.</s>{{BLAM}}{{BLAM|LIES AND CHAOS PROPAGANDA!!! There is nothing written about the Baneblades being lost.}}
*[[Colonel "Iron Hand" Straken|Colonel "I ate a Miral landshark for breakfast" Straken]] - Yet another manly fucker and another solid contender for biggest balls in the Imperial Guard.
*[[Knight Commander Pask]] - Rain man in 40k. An autistic Leman Russ tank ace that has destroyed Titans and Gargants. With a Leman Russ. He somehow manages to wreck his tank in every battle, always getting a new one and renaming it "hand of steel." He's managed to claw his way out of hundreds of burning wrecks somehow.
*[[Colonel Greiss]] - Straken's former commander and proof that the manliest fuckers the Imperial Guard have aren't necessarily the biggest.
*[[Creed|Lord Castellan Usarkar E. Creed]] - Famous for outflanking enemies with Titans. Must have been the work of some sort of tactical geniu-CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!
:*After [[Trazyn]] put Creed into his vault, Geedubs replaced him with his totally-also-a-genius (<s>actually elevated by Imperial nepotism-</s> {{BLAM}}) daughter, Ursula <s>[[Meme|Trumbull]]</s> Creed.
*[[Merrick]] - Tough bastard who survived a Tyranid Invasion, a Chaos uprising, ten years of nonstop combat, and putting a gun to his superior's head. Also fucking strong, since he can carry an entire heavy weapons setup on his own.
*[[Sly Marbo]] - ...by time you have read this... you are already dead... <strike>Gone, just like Creed's ability to scout titans, because GW hates awesome things.</strike> He's ''baaaaaaack...''
*[[Doom]] Marine - because, why the hell not?
*[[Enginseer|Engineseers]] - All of them. Want to repair your own tank, do you? HERE'S THE FUCKING MANUAL. By the way, it's [[Heresy]] to do it yourself.
* [[Lord Commander Solar Macharius]] - A Brilliant tactician who [[/tg/_Gets_Shit_Done|Gets Shit Done]] (in fluff) and the most useless command choice from the Second Edition Codex: Imperial Guard who would habitually screw up your entire battle plan since he rolled for his strategy rating on a D6 (which decided who got the first turn) and 4-6 would stop you firing your army-fucking pre-battle barrage. On a 6 you also had to put everything you had in reserve on the table. He also had no model and the fluff gave no idea what he looked like. IMPROVED IN 3RD ED WHEN HE GOT BETTER RULES AND A MODEL: Baseline stats are: WS D3+2, BS4, S3, T3, W4, I4, A D3+1, LD10
**Because he is slow in his old age, he has an initiative of 4, which is pretty bad, but he can potentially have four attacks with a mastercrafted power weapon at a WS of 5. He's still too wild of a character to use in a serious game, so save him for your fuck-around games, or Apocalypse.
**In conclusion, he has a terrible crunch but have a ridiculously awesome fluff being as the most successful Warmaster ever existed since the Great Crusade
*[[The Last Chancers|Colonel Schaeffer]] - The craziest, malicious, heinous and downright evil imperial guard officer to ever exist. Most other officers are either incompetent when battlefield tactics are concerned or egocentric to the point of believing nothing else around them has a pulse, ultimately resulting in the average footslogger having such a brief lifespan. Colonel Schaeffer on the other hand, intends to make those under his command suffer in the most grueling, painful and surprisingly productive way possible. He is there along with them too.
*Colonel Jurten - Nuked the living shit out of his own planet, 'cuz Krieg ain't belonging to no one but the Big E. Then inhabited it solely with clones, mostly of himself.
*[[Commander Kubrik Chenkov]] "Now see here comrade, is all for great glory of great Stalin empero- Нет! Вернись, свинья! {{BLAM}} Essentially a stereotypical Soviet General IN SPESS. Known for being the most famous user of the "send in the next wave" tactic, [[Grimdark|wherein a squad of 50 conscript guardsman are sent into a minefield to clear it by triggering them and another 50 are sent in immediately when they all inevitably die]]. The biggest waste of flesh the Imperial Guard will likely ever see, he's only survived by dint of never running out of soldiers and somehow clawing together victories. Emperor help Chenkov's ass if he meets Ibram Gaunt, Ciaphas Cain or Vance Motherfuckin Stubbs as he will most likely end up in the Penal Legions if they hear how that idiot spends his men like autogun bullets. Heck its a surprise that no other Imperial Guard leader or commander above Chenkov has shanked his ass yet. His only redeeming factor is that he considers his life no more important that anyone else's and leads his men from the front.

==Main Advantages of Fielding an Imperial Guard Army==
*Shit loads of men to throw around the battlefield[[File:tautears.png|500px|right|thumb|Sweet, sweet-salty tears.]]
*'''[[Basilisk Artillery Gun|BASILISKS]]'''
*'''[[Baneblade|BANEBLADES]]'''
*'''[[Manticore Rocket Launcher|MANTICORES]]'''
*'''[[Leman Russ Battle Tank|LEMAN RUSSES]]'''
*'''[[commissar|*BLAM*]]'''
*[[Creed|Titans acting as scouts]].
*Reasonable prices for vehicles. Sorta.
*Tank Squadrons.
*The first and best [[Hydra Flak Tank|Flak Tank]].
*Loyal soldiers that can and will [[Ollanius Pius|hold the line to the bitter end]].
*[[Commissar Yarrick]]
*Cool looking models and plenty of variety to choose from.
*Standard issue adamantium balls.
*'''YOU COULD NOT POSSIBLY FORGET THAT YOUR GUYS FIELD ''THE BEST TANKS OF THE GAME'', RIGHT?'''
*'''VANQUISHERS, FUCK YOU [[tau|BLUE SKINNED PANZIES]]'''
*Did we forget to mention that all units have standard issue balls of steel? Except for Yarrick. He has adamantium balls. And [[Sly Marbo|that guy in the cardboard box]]. <del>He has Power Balls.</del>(No one has ever been able to confirm what kind of balls he has (EXCEPT FOR YO MAMA! OOOOOH!) no one fucks with Sly is any form of the word and lives to tell the tale) [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B2w0abQazg| Your dudes are basically this guy.]]

==<del>Downsides to being a Guardsman</del> Highly fanciful scenarios that most likely will not occur during your glorious service as a Guardsman==

While your local propaganda might say that being in the guard is the most honorable thing you could ever get into, and it is! Here is a small list of things that will very likely never happen to you and are entirely preventable with forethought, your trusty lasgun, and endless faith in the Emperor:

[[File:709869c659acffb373baece7b5d00582-d6lzjxz.jpg|right|thumb|300px|[[Awesome|Heroic last stands]] not included, [[Grimdark|but encouraged greatly]].]]

*You will die in the line of duty and no-one but your family and friends will remember you unless you've done something that only a Space Marine could do in combat. ''Anyone can do it!''
*You're expendable in every sense of the word. ''Freedom isn't free and you're the currency that pays for it!''
*Your Commissar might execute you to make your friends fight harder. ''You deserved it.''
*Your Commissar might execute your friends to make you fight harder. ''They deserved it.''
*Unless you're in a special forces division like the Kasrkin, you're really just a meatshield in large scale assaults. ''A glorious, spiffy looking meatshield!''
*"See how great this is? Your very own laser gun!" Too bad it's a bad joke compared to everyone else's guns. ''You're just using it wrong.''
*You can't even die when you want to. ''You don't want to be a quitter, do you?''
*You might be: [[Chaos Space Marines|mutilated, disemboweled]], [[Tyranids|eaten alive]], [[Orks|chopped into meat chunks by a rusty slab of metal]], [[Necron|disassembled into your component atoms]], [[Chaos Gods|sacrificed to the Chaos Gods]], [[Imperium|left for dead]], [[Dark Eldar|tortured for fun by xenos]], [[Chaos|mutants, heretics and zealots]], [[Eldar|stuffed with shurikens and lasers better than yours]], [[Tau|or blasted by high-power rounds from miles away]]. ''But you'll earn the eternal gratitude of the Emperor!''
*You will be sent into hopeless situations and your superiors expect you to fight without retreating or showing cowardice. ''Just do it, no one likes a crybaby!''
*You may be used as mine clearance. By being marched through the minefield. ''That's right boys, you can teach those dastardly mines who's boss by blowing them up!''
* Even if after losing your entire regiment, watching your last-minute friends die horrendous deaths, and generally do the most gruesome work to win the day; the minute Space Marines come crashing down from the sky; They'll take all the credit for it, even if the Marines themselves attribute the win to you. ''They deserve it.''
* Those same Space Marines might [[Marines Malevolent|bomb you and the civilians you're trying to save into mulch because you're too weak to be worth rescuing.]] ''You deserve it, weakling.''
*You will be taken from your home planet and dropped on the other side of the universe to fight in a war you didn't know existed. ''Think of the interesting people you'll meet, and then subsequently possibly kill!''
*You will NEVER see your home planet again unless you are stationed there. In which case it is likely under siege by yet another one of the Imperium's foes, and will likely remain so for the remainder of your short life. ''Think of the interesting places you'll see, and then subsequently blow up!''
*5 Million of you dying under a four hour assault by orks, is considered a flawless victory by Segmentum Command (Then again that would likely be either a very large ork warband or a WAAAGH!, so GOOD JOB!). ''Better than 5 million and one, am I right?''
*If you fight along side Grey Knights, you will be *BLAMMED*, or mindfucked and lobotomized, after the battle in the interest of secrecy. ''Grey Knights don't exist, that's silly.''
*Hell, just fighting Chaos has a slight chance of you getting disposed of after the battle because the Inquisitor investigating your regiment thinks that you may be a slight, bit, tad tainted. ''You wouldn't want to spread that taint would you?''
*Even when your army are the only ones that still uses combined arms warfare, your army still sucks, since it's routinely losing entire brigades (complete with Armor vehicles and aircraft) to any single bog-standard Space Marine and/or xeno mook. ''But not you! Your buddies and you can definitely take 'em!''
*God forbid you dare complain. Fucking Commissars. ''Morale must be maintained!''

==Memorable Quotations==

[[File:Astra Militarum Symbol.jpg|right|400px]]

- "Enemies of the Imperium, hear me. You have come here to die. The Immortal Emperor is with us and we are invincible. His soldiers will strike you down, his war machines will crush you under their treads, his mighty guns will bring the very sky crashing down upon you. You cannot win. The Emperor has given us his greatest weapon to wield. So make yourselves ready. We are The First Kronus Regiment, and today is our victory day!" - [[Governor-Militant Lukas Alexander]]

- "The meaning of victory is not to merely defeat your enemy but to destroy him, to completely eradicate him from living memory, to leave no remnant of his endeavours, to crush his achievement and remove all record of his very existence. From that defeat there is no recovery. That is the meaning of victory." - [[Lord Solar Macharius]]

- "What is the strongest weapon of mankind? The god-machines of the Adeptus Mechanicus? No! The Astartes Legions? No! The tank? The lasgun? The fist? Not at all! Courage and courage alone stands above them all!" - [[Lord Solar Macharius]]

- "Though our tanks and artillery are mighty, it is the vast ranks of Imperial Guardsmen that shall trample the enemy to dust - let them come" - [[Creed]]

- "I have at my command an entire battle group of the Imperial Guard. Fifty regiments, including specialized drop troops, stealthers, mechanised formations, armoured companies, combat engineers and mobile artillery. Over half a million fighting men and thirty thousand tanks and artillery pieces are mine to command. Emperor show mercy to the fool who stands before me, for I shall not." - Warmaster Demetrius

- "The enemies of mankind may employ dark sciences or alien weapons beyond Humanity's ken, but such deviance comes to naught in the face of honest human intolerance backed by a sufficient number of guns."

-DRIVE ME CLOSER! I want to hit them with my sword! (originally a meme that started from a picture of a Commissar standing up in a tank hatch brandishing his sword, the phrase became so popular it is one of Commissar Lord Bernn's in campaign/skirmish/multiplayer lines when he gets in a Chimera in Dawn of War II, Retribution)

- "Look at me. Look at me! ''This'' is home now, Trooper! This is the zone! It doesn't like you, but by the Throne, it's where you are! The Emperor wants you, boy! Did no one ever tell you that? The Emperor wants you to make his glory for him! And if you're scared, I'm terrified. The [[Chaos|archenemy]] is no playmate. You're going to see things, and be expected to do things your poor mother would have a fit at. But the Emperor expects, and the Emperor ''protects'', all of us, even you. Especially you - I promise you that." - [[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt]]

- "Pain is temporary, Honour is forever" - [[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt]]

- "That which I cannot crush with words alone, I shall crush with the [[Baneblade|tanks]] of the Imperial Guard!" - [[Lord Solar Macharius]]

- "You're a fearsome warrior! Act like it!" - [[Dawn of War II|General Castor]]

- "[[Commissar|You don't die until I say so!]]"

- "[[Commissar|Forward you dogs to victory!!]]"

- "[[Commissar|Glory to the first man to die! CHARGE!!!]]"

- "[[Regimental Commissar Anton Gebbet|If you will not serve in combat, then you will serve on the firing line!]]"

- "To each of us falls a task, and all the Emperor requires of us Guardsmen is that we stand the line, and we die fighting. It is what we do best: We die standing." - General Sturnn, Dawn of War: Winter Assault

- "Only in death does duty end" - [[Sturnn]]

- "All right men! TIME TO WAGE TO WAR!" - [[Sturnn]]

- "A true servant never yields to doubt" - [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs|General Vance Stubbs]]

- "Remember, we have more numbers men!" - sergeant in skirmish/multiplayer line from Dawn of War II Retribution

- "Let's see them fight ALL of us!" Guardsman, Dawn of War: Soulstorm

- "For each one of us that falls, 10 more will take its place!" Guardsman, Dawn of War: Soulstorm

- "We died so that others may live." - Unknown Brimlock Dragoon

- "Infantry wins firefights, tanks win battles, artillery wins wars." - Tactica Imperialis

- "A Guardsman's LIFE is to die. My job has always been to send them where they CAN die. I'm not afraid to spend men, but I never waste them!" - [[Dawn of War II|General Castor]]

- "Your foe is well equipped, well-trained, battle-hardened. He believes his gods are on his side. Let him believe what he will. We have the tanks on ours." - Colonel Joachim Pfeiff, [[Death Korps of Krieg|Krieg]] 14th Armoured Regiment

- "A good general does not lead an army to destruction just because he knows it will follow." - The Tactica Imperialis

- "Let my epitaph be this; I was born nameless and abandoned in the gutter of a sunless pit, but I have died a conqueror of worlds." - Reputed last words of Lord Militant Erais Slaithe

- "Peace is not in my vocabulary." - Commander Jarra Mordiker of the 13th/5th support regiment

- "A good soldier obeys without question. A good officer commands without doubt." - Tactica Imperialis

==A Piece of Writing That Explains the Imperial Guard==
At the end of the day, though he's been ferried through [[Warp|hell]] on a ship that's ten thousand years old to some godforsaken, war-torn rock; though he deployed from high orbit with nothing but a grav chute; though he is one of ten million men and women snatched from his homeworld to fight a war he barely understands; though he has been given a weapon that fires small suns and may annihilate him as he fires because the knowledge of how it functions has been lost; though his company is supported by tractor-tanks that run on anything you can burn; though he wages war against a [[Tyranid|devouring hivemind]], ravenous [[Daemon|demons]] and [[Ork|hordes]] of [[Eldar|hyper-advanced]] [[Tau|aliens]] with [[Necron|strange technologies]] and [[Chaos Sorcerer|sorceries]] he never dreamed existed; no one will remember his sacrifice, there will be no records of his deeds, no glorious parades in his honor, and no remembrance of his name. All he will earn is a shallow, unmarked grave on a forgotten world untold light years from home.

Yet for all this thankless sacrifice a Guardsman is a man, just like you. He has no [[Space Marines|millennia-old genetic engineering]], no [[Emperor|prophetic leader]], no [[Sisters of Battle|miracles of faith]]. He has his lasgun, his orders, and those beside him. He is an Imperial Guardsman.

[[Awesome|And he will hold the line.]]

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=139wRZ83gKg Now in Manly Tear inducing audio format!]

==Another piece of writing: Pity the guardsmen==
Pity the Guardsman...

A weak sack of flesh destined to die for a dead god that never cared, he spends his pitiful, brief life, alone in his foxhole with nothing to keep him company, or to keep him safe, than the cheapest, most disposable of equipment. Perhaps the glow from his lasgun barrel keeps him warm at night.

Me? As a servant of the Powers I enjoy the delights of all this world and the warp has to offer. Power, it courses through my veins. The gifts of the Chaos Gods will soon overtake me, and one day I may even ascend. What has the Guardsman to look forward to but a grim life, and if he is lucky perhaps he will feel nothing as my axe sends his soul to Khorne.

He lives for a corpse god, and he shall join his god, as a corpse. I shall spare a half second to think of him and his kind. Then, I shall only laugh. Hail Chaos!

----

You would laugh monster, But let me remind you.

Within that weak sack of meat and bone, uncared for by his god and wept for by none, beats a heart. A human heart, that carries with it the strength and courage of all mankind. Within that sack of meat is ensconced the hope, the will, and the fury of every man, woman, and child from every corner of the Imperium. Within that weak sack of meat, festooned in thin armour and weapons only powerful in numbers, beats the heart of a man. And for ten thousand years, the hearts of men have beaten, strongly, in defiance of your so called "powers". For ten thousand years, the hearts of men have stood united against a galaxy that despises them for no reason save that they had the audacity not to lay down and die. For ten thousand years, your Black Crusades have been pushed back, beaten down and made a mockery of, by weak sacks of flesh with cheap weapons and disposable equipment.

For that weak sack of flesh that you so gleefully mock is no super soldier, no immortal warrior, no creature cursed by Chaos like you. He is a man, an Imperial Guardsman drawn from some forgotten corner of the Imperium to fight for his species and for the safety of the people he loves. He is a factory worker, a farmer, a storekeeper, a father, a brother, a son, a mere man. And against creatures like you, teeming and numberless, powered by the very will of thirsting gods... he holds the line. He has held the line for ten thousand Years.

So what's your excuse, monster?

And in [https://youtu.be/qyGDo1ARpjI 3d animated version for extra pleasure] the guardsmen can finally get the recognition he deserves.

==A Selection of Approved Music for the Imperial Guard==

*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmX1NlxYt_k - Imperial Guard in a nutshell
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWBoMWZJkeI - (none of that 'mercan shite)(It's pronounced 'Murican)
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxapTnODhCs - A marching song that most Training worlds use to this day.
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJNz2QgSNsk - Standard cadence song sung by veteran units.
*https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n7hHlh2IusY - Commonly sung by Trench and siege regiments, thought to be about an ancient civil war
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjvKZHJeayg - Rumored to be used by Praetorian Guard Regiments
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRIAw6LkqlE - Again, a rumored anthem.
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5NzAksjfDI - Wildly popular Catachan song, most notable for being sung aboard transports.
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS1lBID2Mtw - Popular parade piece for the Phantine Air Corps
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9fSEdZIM08 - March of the Death Korps of Krieg
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWgsdexkv18 - Harakoni Warhawks are sometimes required to memorize the lyrics as part of their training.
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKT7qxk9-pw - A campfire song often heard from Drookian Fen Guard encampments.
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26cr_rBQu74&list=- A traditional folk/drinking song of the Vostroyan Light Armor and Mounted regiments.
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLV4_xaYynY - Traditional Catachan folk song. Catachan Guardsmen are sometimes heard either humming, warbling or whistling this song while on Guard duty.
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V92OBNsQgxU - This is song is inevitably played over loudspeakers whenever there are two or more Valkyries entering the battlefield.
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVcD1gW-cQE - This song begun to resurface throughout Valhallan Armored Regiments after a few joint missions with Knight Commander Pask's Cadian 423rd Armoured Regiment.
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1uGm_dIqBI - Quite popular among Vostroyan artillery regiments.
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrJAwCBbnuc- Often sung by storm troopers during risky and/or frontal assaults on enemy forward positions or leading massive charges.

*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umzRoqtWvrA- Sometimes heard while the Drookian Fen Guard are on the march.
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YsMCqgZPKE- Heard when the Drookian Fen Guard are in battle.
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6MgTQ-56P0- Ballad of the Imperial Guardsman
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhqWHIq-aZw- Undisputed Anthem of the Imperial Guard.

==Notable Imperial Guard Forces==
Because GW was too lazy to create an original themed Imperial Guard army, they basically used RL armies as a base for them, gave them a little touch of [[grimdark]], assorted amounts of tempered ceramite balls and placed them... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE!

*[[Cadia|Cadian Shock Troops]]: (Resettled after Cadia's fall) Generic occidental army/Colonial Marines/Mobile Infantry clones... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! FOR [[Imperium|IMPERIUM]] AND [[Emprah|EMPEROR]]! CADIA STANDS!
*[[Catachan Jungle Fighters]]: Vietnam War Americans (with Australians, British and Canadians)... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! GOOD MORNING CATACHAN!
*[[Tallarn Desert Raiders]]: Lawrence of Arabia's Raiders (or Mujihadeen)... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! الإمبراطور أكبر!
*[[Armageddon Steel Legion]]: Wehrmacht mechanized divisions... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! FÜR DEN IMPERATOR, FEUER FREI!
*[[Armageddon Ork Hunters]]: American John Rambo Commandos... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! WE ARE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE, ORKS!!!
*[[Valhallan Ice Warriors]]: World War II Soviet Red Army... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! ЗА РОДИНУ! ЗА ИМПЕРАТОРА! НИ ШАГУ НАЗАД!
*[[Mordian Iron Guard]]: Napoleonic Prussians (spiffing blue uniforms, iron hard discipline and ranked fire)... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! GOTT KAISER MIT UNS!
*[[Death Korps of Krieg]]: WWI's Western Front (both sides), offensive side... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! Now that we're in space, imagine what the Clone Army in [[Star Wars]] might be if Lucas liked grimdark as much as he liked CGI and revising the original trilogy.
*[[Gilead Gravediggers]]: WWI's Western Front (both sides), defensive side... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! POUR L'EMPEREUR, ON NE PASSE PAS! The less grimdark and even more trench-loving cousins of the Kriegers.
*[[Vostroyan Firstborn]]: Cossacks... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! YOU WILL NOT MAKE SUBJECTS OF IMPERIAL SONS, FUCK YOUR MOTHER!
*[[Elysian Drop Troops]]: French paratroopers... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! QUI OSE GAGNE! POUR L'EMPEREUR! (Taros Campaign=Dien Bien Phu or Operation Market Garden)
*[[Dieprian Mountain Men]]: World War II Italian Army Alpini Corps... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! NESSUNA MONTAGNA È TROPPO ALTA PER NOI, PER L'IMPERATORE!
*[[Harakoni Warhawks]]: American paratroopers... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! GREEN LIGHT!!! LET'S GO!
*[[Tanith First (And Only)]]: Roman-era Celts... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! DWI'N OFN, OND DILYNWCH FI!
*[[Attilan Rough Riders]]: <strike>Mongols</strike> Huns... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! ([[White Scars|Yes, again.]])
*[[Mordant Acid Dogs]]: Post-apocalyptic miners (and a bit of Raiders)... IIIINNN SPAAAACE!!!... ACID EVERYONE? THERE IS ENOUGH FOR EVERY HERETIC AND XENO!!!
*[[Savlar Chem Dogs]]: Post-apocalyptic raiders (and a bit of the Vietnam War tunnel rats)... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! They rule Bartertown, get out of here guardsman.
*[[Terrax Guard]]: World War II Soviet Commissars (This is essentially a Commissar Regiment with extra steps)... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! ТОЛЬКО ВЕРНЫЙ ВЫИГРЫВАЕТ ДЕНЬ!
*[[Drookian Fen Guard]]: Anglo-Scottish border reivers... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! A GOT NAE PANTS ON UNDER MA KILT SO A KIN DRAPE MA BALLS ON YER FACE WHILE YE CHOKE ON YER OWN BLOOD, YE NINNY LITTLE WANKER!!
*[[Praetorian Guard]]: Victorian British Army... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! PRAETORIANS NEVER YIELD! (Ever seen the movie ''Zulu''? Like that, but against [[ork|Orks]]. And yes that is a bit racist when you stop and think about it but oh well, just give your officer darker skin tone, not like anyone who isn't a major [[That Guy]] would care about that in real life.)
*[[Kanak Skull Takers]]: Cavemen (with some Apache)... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! ME TARZAN, YOU DEAD!!
*[[Brontian Longknives]]: Australian Crocodile Dundee swordsmen (That's not a knife. THAT'S a knife!)... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! Guns? Too modern to my taste.
*[[Phantine Air Corps]]: Battle of Britain RAF... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! FLIP OVER ON HIS BETTY HARPER AND CATCH HIS CAN IN THE VERTI!!
*[[Phantine Skyborne]]: British SAS... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! Who dares, wins.
*[[Scintillan Fusiliers]]: 18th century French aristocrats... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! QU'ILS MANGENT DE LA BRIOCHE!! Likely doomed if their [[Commissar|Commissars]] get an STC for a portable guillotine.
*[[Ventrillian Nobles]]: 16th century Spanish conquistadors (with some WHFB Tileans)... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! POR VENTRILLIA, EL IMPERIO Y EL EMPERADOR!!! Unlike those Scintillan pussies who have panic attacks at a paper cut, the dashing gentlemen of Ventrilla actually know how to fight.
*[[Maccabian Janissaries]]: Ottoman Empire's Elite Corps... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! AMINA KOYAYIM!!! Nobody cared who they were until they put on the masks.
*[[Indigan Praefects]]: Monster Hunters... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! Certified Imperium Beast and Pest Control.
*[[Jopall Indentured Guard]]: Corporate Debt Bondaged Soldiers... IIIIINNNN SPAAACE! FOR PROFI-err I mean, FOR THE EMPEROR!!!
*[[Athonian Tunnel Rats]]: Vietnam War Tunnel Rats (and a bit of Post-Apocalyptic raider flavor... this feels familiar)... IIIIINNN SPAAAACE!
*[[Necromundan Spiders]]: New York street gangs... IIIIINNN SPAAAACE! HERETICS! COME OUT TO PLAY-AY!
*[[Solar Auxilia]]: The first iteration of the Imperial Guard. ''Significantly'' better equipped than their latter-day counterparts.

With such a large and diverse collection of units in the Imperial Guard that puts even the Space Marine armies to shame, you'd think that you'd have plenty of options for fielding an army, right? Well, I've got some bad news for you: Realistically, you can only field Cadians and Catachans in large numbers, as well as the Death Korps <s>and Elysians</s> if you're willing to pay [[Forge World]] prices. As for everyone else? Entirely discontinued (or never made in the first place), with the sole exception of the base Steel Legion infantry squad, and most of them were never made in plastic, so good luck trying to get custom loadouts. Yes, some units like the Attilans or Harakoni may seem too out there to have broad appeal, but you'd think at least the Steel Legion would get more support, what with their intimate involvement in [[Armageddon]], one of 7th Edition's Warzone settings (or it could be a scam to make you pay FW prices as their models look pretty similar to death korps).

GW are at least remaking Gaunt's Ghosts in plastic, though six named characters is hardly enough to make a full Tanith army. There are also [[Victoria Miniatures|some]] [[Anvil Industry|people]] who can cover your needs for legally-distinct space army men in a variety of flavors. Now Attilans are back.

==Imperial Guard forces featured in Black Library novels==
The writers from Black Library have also created some armies for Black Library novels, and while some of them only appear in one novel or short story they may be worth mentioned as a great source of custom Imperial Guard armies:

* Arkhan Confederates, Civil War American Regiments... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! Featured in the extremely [[grimdark]] novel ''Fire Caste'', their name seems to be a reference both to the state of Arkansas and [[H.P. Lovecraft]]'s haunted city of Arkham (also their homeplanet is Providence, so yeah), they just came out of a civil war between loyalists and rebels, with their average troopers getting the slang of "greybacks", their culture is akin to America's 19th century with a bit of northern barbarian for some measure, while the Adeptus Mechanicus have enforced Mars dogma Arkhan nobles still have a tendency to tweak and build their own machines as a form of Omnissiah worship, which have resulted in [[Awesome|jumpack sentinels and the Zouaves clockwork power-armoured elite soldiers, which are capable to stand their ground against Tau battlesuits]] (progress!), also their psykers usually come with a northern tribesman guardian who is tasked to chop the psyker's head in case it gets perils of the warp.

* [[Roane Deepers]], ANZAC... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! Featured in ''Ghostmakers'' and ''Necropolis'' by [[Dan Abnett]], they fought with the [[Tanith First (And Only)]] during the [[Sabbat Worlds Crusade]] on Vervunhive. Light infantry and poorly equipped, courtesy of their homeworld being far down the [[Administratum|Departmento Munitorum]]'s list, they come with a bad reputation of being lazy with warfare and training approach. However, when lasers and bullets start whistling around, they are tenacious fighters. They suffered heavy casualties against the much better equipped [[Blood Pact]]. Their uniforms are made of mustard color fatigues, flak armor and a netted helmet.

* Vitrian Dragoons, ancient Babylonians... IIIIIINNN SPAAAACE! with a bit of Ottoman Empire. Another regiment featured in Dan Abnett's novels. Shock infantry. Wear carapace armour made from a glassy metal from their home world. They also have their own [[Ultramarines|codex which tells them tactical situations and how to react in combat scenarios.]]

==[[/tg/_40,000#Imperial_Guard | /tg/ Homebrew Guard Forces]]==
Here are some of the regiments spawned by /tg/.
* [[Cendra#Armed_Forces |Cendran Abolishers]]: Pyromaniacs who eat the burnt flesh of their enemies.
* [[Darmine#Darmine_Marshalls | Darmine Marshalls]]: Elite sharpshooters supported by huge amounts of explosive collar-fitted penal troopers.
*[[Onóir#Onóir First and Foremost | Onóir First and Foremost]]: Heavy troopers who use an unholy amount of [[Valkyrie|Valkyries]] and flamethrowers
* [[Ferdain#Ferdain_Mustangs | Ferdain Mustangs]]: Cavalry regiment that use genetically tailored horses that are practically heavy armour.
* [[Sauristoni#Armed_Forces| Sauristoni Ghostchasers]]: Renowned scouts and trackers who are experts on Eldar.
* [[1st Membranes]]: A regiment made almost entirely of psykers from a black ship that crashed on a forge world.
* [[Arianius Divided Regiments]]: Regiments are segregated along gender lines. Men are [[Choppa|slicey]] women are [[Dakka|shooty.]]
* [[Kandam | Kandamii Crabhunters]]: A regiment made up of Augmented soldiers who specialize in Oceanic and Aerial warfare.
*[[New Terran Rangers]]: Or (NTR) for short. Are a group of <s>Slaaneshi cultist</s> I mean totally loyal Guard that all others should aspire to be. Others should stride to be as heroic as them.
*[[Unbreakable Tritons]]: A rigorous and disciplined regiment, specializing in aquatic/amphibious, and naval combat.
* [[Terranknights | Terran Knights]]: Elite regiments recruited exclusively from Terra. As a result they have some of the best equipment in the Imperium.
* [[Hell Harlots|2478th Penal Legion, "Hell Harlots"]]: All-female [[penal legion]] close combat drop troops made up entirely of the same religious prison gang.
* [[All_Guardsmen_Party| Generian 99th Medium Infantry]]: The original regiment of the [[All_Guardsmen_Party | All Guardsmen Party]] spawning some of the most dangerous, heretical, yet pragmatic acolytes in the entire inquisition.
*[[Hua Yuan Exterminators|Hua Yuan Exterminators]]: Tyranid hunters and Hive warfare Specialists that use unique 'Color And Mayhem' tactics to disorient and daze in the cramped not!Honk Kong they're from. By far the most fleshed out /tg/ regiment to date.
*[[Franchfarran Legion]]: One of the stupidest ideas to come out of thinking about 40k. Beats the Benveadig Militia though...
*[[Varkhat| The Varkhese Legionnaires]]: Heroes of the Siege of Varkhat and the infamous mechanised force used by the Mechanicus in its recent terraforming endevours.
* [[Argo Brigade]]: Regiment of brutally effective counterinsurgency operators who really, really enjoy crucifying dissidents, dissident sympathizers, and xenos upside down and/or sideways.
* The Karthak Raiders: Purple-clad Cadians with names like Kinmar, Kinfey and Kinross. There's a short story about them coming soon.
* [[Clavessa_Secundus| Clavessa Bush Brigade]]: Some poor sods who are posted in-orbit on the most parasitic death-world planet in the universe. EVERYTHING is a parasite here. It also has [[Bees|DEATH BEES]]. And the worst thing is, the enemies of the Imperium KEEP INVADING this place for some stupid reason (it says everything when the Orks are the only ones with ACTUALLY sensible, rational and understandable reasons to keep coming back to attack this shithole)
* [[Void Trekkers]]: Galaxy Quest meets the grim darkness of 40k.

== See Also ==
*[[Imperial Guard Regiment Creation Tables]]
*[[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Imperial_Guard (9E)|Imperial Guard Tactics in-game.]]
*[[Lasgun]]
*[[Chem-chan]]
*[[Sentinel]]
*[[Hellhound Tank]]
*[[Basilisk Artillery Gun]]
*[[Leman Russ Battle Tank]]
*[[Baneblade]]
*[[Commissar]]
*[[Imperium]]
*[[Only War]] - The official Tabletop RPG of the Guard! Formerly.
*[[Kasrkin-chan]]
*[http://www.forgeworld.co.uk/The_Horus_Heresy/Solar_Auxilia] - The Imperial Guard before they became the Astra Militarum of today, The awesome looking [[Solar Auxilia|SOLAR AUXILIA]]! Thank the Emperor for [[Forge World]].
*[[Regulations of the Imperial Guard]] Things The Imperial Guard Is No Longer Allowed To Do.
*[[Lost and the Damned]]
*[[Wargames Atlantic]] for cheaper alternative models[[https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Wargames_Atlantic#External_Links|Wargames_Atlantic]]
*[[Gue'vesa]]
*[[Genestealer Cult]]
*[[Digganobz]]

==External Links==
* [https://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Astra_Militarum Lexicanum on the Imperial Guard]
* [https://warhammer40k.fandom.com/wiki/Astra_Militarum WH40k Wikia on the Astra Militarum]
* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imperial_Guard_(Warhammer_40,000) Wikipedia Article]

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Faces of Warriors.png|Imperial Guard Veterans... Rare but not impossible, folks!
File:Guard Regiments 1.jpg
File:Guard Regiments 2.jpg
Image:Greeting.jpg
Image:Propaganda_by_DemonMads.jpg
Image:YoDawg.jpg
Image:IG_(2).jpg|
Image:Guardsmen.jpg|But this works too.
Image:1230085088983.png|[[wat]]
Image:Winterassault.jpg|Who needs Pauldrons?
Image:Repercussions.png|Commissar in action
Image:IG_(1).jpg|What the [[Jokaero]] should have been.
Image:The Courage of Man.png|AVE IMPERATOR MOTHERFUCKERS!
Image:Magnus Kale.png|Guardsmen - They Just Never Stop
Image:Basilisk.png|[[Basilisk Artillery Gun|Basilisks]] are [[AWESOME]]
Image:balls.jpg|Imagine this, only 4 times bigger, heck even the women have 'em!
Image:GuardsmanHelmet.jpg|This man shows doubt. He will soon be executed.
Image:Warhammer-orcs.jpg|Come and get some, fucking green-skins!
Image:Guardsman.jpg|This is painfully accurate... except for missing the FUCKHEUG BALLS OF STEEL.
Image:1267818498305.jpg|One should never underestimate the awesomeness of a Guardsman.
Image:Grimdark checkers.jpg|In the grimdarkness of the 41st millennium, there are still old men playing checkers.
</gallery>
</center>
{{Promotions}}
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Mira.jpg|It suggests a deep strike and close-quarters engagement.
Image:IG_melta.jpg|She's hotter than her meltagun.
Image:Catachan-n.jpg
Image:IG_Babes_(1).jpg
Image:IG_Babes_(2).jpg
Image:IG_Babes_(3).jpg
Image:IG_Babes_(5).jpg
Image:Krieg_chan_01_by_Jaekyu.jpg
Image:Krieg_chan_by_Jaekyu.jpg
Image:1227223498011.jpg
Image:IG_mot1.jpg
Image:IG_mot2.jpg
Image:IG_mot3.jpg
Image:Kasrkin_chan_sans_helmet_by_Jaekyu.jpg
Image:Kasrkin_chan_by_Jaekyu.jpg
Image:IG_Babes_(4).jpg|"Thank the Emperor! Action!"
Image:Imperial_Guardswoman_by_IronShrineMaiden.jpg|Ponytails and light weaponry are standard issue.
Image:F0r t3h Emp3r0r by Kazuv.jpg|Even pregnant chicks get conscripted.
Image:Vostroy_chan_by_Jaekyu.jpg|Vostroya is a cold and crappy place. Still people like it there. Guess why?
Image:Vostroya san by sexual yeti-da50g3x.png|[[Promotions|PROMOTIONS]]
</gallery>
</center>

==Navigation==
{{Imperial-Guard}}
{{40k-Imperial-Regiments}}
{{Imperium}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}

Ogre Kingdoms

2023-05-09T19:27:56Z

2600:387:9:3:0:0:0:51:

[[File:F8eadd7a4470a5bc529656620e73680f.png|thumb|right|350px|A bunch of lards being dudes.]]
{{Topquote|Welcome to Flavortown.| Guy Fieri}}
{{Topquote|The gluttons dig their own graves with their teeth.|James Howell}}
{{Topquote|I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe, on a raft, 4x4 animal style. Extra shingles with the shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim.|The average Ogre order when they go out to eat}}
{{Topquote|No voice in our ears but the Maw We relish the sound of its call We’ll plunder and feast on any man, any beast Doesn’t matter, we’ll snack on them all The stragglers we didn’t consume Are chucked in our sacrifice stew They scream and they run But that’s part of the fun ‘Cause the Ogres are coming to get ya! Oh, Ogres, Ogres Chomping on meats Filling our guts with our struggling treats Tearing, chewing We kill for the Maw The power and grub’s what we’re doing it for! Crunching and biting We kill for the Maw The power and grub’s what we’re doing it for!|2=
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Bbp98oMsjA The Ogres' trailer music from Total War: Warhammer III]}}

The '''Ogre Kingdoms''' are a faction in [[Warhammer Fantasy]], although it's really more of a geographical term than a political term, as Ogres in WFB aren't really "united" in any rational sense. In fact, they're spread out across the Warhammer World, some making up tribes that, in turn, make up the "kingdoms," whereas others serve as mercenaries for other factions (although there's not really an in-game way to represent this as of now).

Ogres used to live in the Warhammer World's equivalent to Mongolia, but they were driven away by the arrival of the [[Great Maw]], some sort of literal giant maw that stuck into the ground and makes Ogres really, really hungry. They began to move westwards, ending up in the massive [[Mountains of Mourn]] to the east of the [[Dark Lands]] (which, in turn, is east of the [[Old World]]). These would eventually become known as the Ogre Kingdoms, but Ogres are continuing to move west, working for some forces and invading (and eating) others.

==History==
===Pre-Chaos===
Way back in the early days of the world, the [[Old Ones (Warhammer)|Old Ones]] knew that [[Chaos]] was approaching and they feverishly worked to find a way to prevent it by engineering a race capable of fighting Daemons and winning. They created [[Lizardmen]] to aid them as servants, and set to work first creating an environment to place the race in to live up to its full potential, then study them and decide if they were a success. First they made the [[High Elves (Warhammer)|Elves]], who were too slow to reproduce and too frail to survive prolonged war. Then the [[Dwarfs]], who were incapable of using magic and too rigid in their culture to change fast enough to adapt to [[Daemon]] trickery. Then they created [[Humans]], who were too corruptible. At this point the Old Ones began panicking, and created a bunch of races (so everyone who isn't one of the main groups) all of which were flawed in one way or another (the [[Halflings]] of the Moot are in fact prototype Ogres). Finally, they produce the Ogres. At first they seemed to have all the desirable traits the old ones were looking for. They were as adaptable and fast breeding as man, able to survive all but the harshest of conditions, resistant to mutation, long lived, fairly intelligent, and they could eat just about anything. The Ogres were a half-finished race, though, as the old ones had yet to curb the creature's intense hunger. At this point, the [[Warp Gates]] collapsed preventing the Old Ones from distributing the ogres and using them as soldiers. As such, Ogres, despite being the race theoretically capable of fighting Chaos and winning, were left without the means or knowledge of how to do so. Also, ogres are huge, like, REALLY huge, so them being really hungry is a lot more of a problem than you'd think.

===Great Maw===
{{topquote|The feast is OVER! There's no more food! Go home and - wait, no put me down!!!!|Cathayan Emperor, finally sick of the Ogre's nearly eating his empire under the table|}}

Ogres initially lived in tribes, which wandered the steppes of Warhammer Mongolia following nomadic giant animals which they ate whole. This kept them happy for thousands of years. But as the numbers of the Ogres increased, their half-completed environment was unable to support them. They began attempting to cross the passes that lead to the other races of the world. Nearest them was the Humans of [[Cathay]], AKA Warhammer China. Ogres learned stone-age technology such as "fire" and "wheels" from the Cathayans, and for the first time tasted the meat of intelligent beings: and it was FUCKING DELICIOUS. The Emperor of Cathay, who was apparently an immortal dragon god, used his magic and the mages of his court to pull a mysterious creature from space down into the middle of the Ogre lands where it promptly pulled a Tunguska. Said impact reverberated through the world, with all races feeling the shock (Dwarfs everywhere carved Malachite murals of the event, menacing with spikes of Cat Bone. Elves wrote a sonnet about it, which is actually a metaphor for why Dwarfs are short. Humans made up a myth about a hero fucking the Earth God Ishneros bareback). The impact wiped out 2/3 of the Ogre race instantly, and the comet reached the molten core of the world. The land of the Ogres was destroyed, burned to a crisp and rendered mostly lifeless. The survivors of the Ogres believed that they had been punished by an angry god for their sins (what they think those sins were varies from group to group) and they came to worship the giant crater as the physical manifestation of their God. Somehow, this also caused an unnatural hunger for every Ogre that could not be sated. This came to be the basis for their ENTIRE culture, and also lead to the current "fatty boy" look of their race.
Natural selection came into play as the weak were eaten by the strong. The only Ogres that survived this dark era were absolute fucking badasses with skin that could stop cannonballs and muscles underneath that could crack said cannonballs (cannonball soup makes a great pre-cannon team barbeque dish by the way). With tribes consuming themselves into oblivion and survivors being fed on by larger tribes without end as Ogres could never feel satisfied, Ogres had to find new lands and new meats. Cathay was blocked by natural barriers, so westward they went, tribe by tribe.

An Ogre named Groth Onefinger stepped forth and lead his tribe to the site of impact of the comet. The areas surrounding the hole were dangerous enough to kill even the hardened Ogres, and those that survived found that the pit wasn't just a hole. [[Tyranids|It was a pit, surrounded by muscle and rimmed by teeth. It had no discernible end. It was alive and the dangers around it were simply its intake of breath and respiration.]] Since that day, Ogres no matter where in the world they were born return at some point in their lives to visit the Great Maw, and all Ogres worship it as their deity and adorn their crafts in images of it.

===War in the Sky===
The Ogres became the first race in the setting to cross the natural boundaries of the Old Ones. They carved their way through impassible mountains and ascended the heights, finding new beasts to eat. Ones that were just as capable of eating them, but regardless still new flesh. Ogres once again passed through a challenge that consumed the weakest of their race, strengthening the survivors and their descendants. In the frozen wastes, everything was capable of preying on Ogres, and tribes couldn't rest or take shelter without being consumed to the last. The Ogres that managed to reach the tops of the peaks found rolling hills of a more temperate climate, where enormous herds of succulent mammoths were tended by their cousins, the Skytitans. The Skytitans had a great civilization on top of what is now the Ancient Giant Lands, only descending the bottom when tending to their herds, and carved fortresses and artwork worthy of Elves and Dwarfs into the peaks. The Ogres initially preyed on the herd animals, which were powerful enough that an entire tribe was needed to kill one (and an entire tribe could find themselves feasting for a longer time than thought possible). The Skytitans didn't take kindly to the Ogre invasion of their lands, and fought a war to render the dwindled race extinct. The weapons of war and magics of the Skytitans slew most of the Ogre race in what came to be known as the War in the Sky, but in the end the dwindled Ogres still outnumbered the Skytitans hundreds to one and the isolated, singular lifestyle of the Skytitans prevented them from uniting, resulting in each Skytitan being besieged and eaten (often alive) in his own home by packs of vermin-like Ogres. Soon most of the race was consumed, the last of the Skytitans having become so large and hardened (as Skytitans grew larger and tougher as they aged) that they were indistinguishable from the mountains themselves, with small numbers of survivors banding together and setting sail on fortresses built on the tops of solidified clouds, but where they went and if they survived the journey is unknown. Some Skytitans fled to other lands on foot, most of them devolving and inbreeding into the current [[Giant|Giants]]: monsters that dwell the hills looking for battle and food (in that order), with no art or culture to speak of, and oftentimes goaded (often with large quantities of alcohol) to march alongside Beastmen, Greenskins, and Chaos devotees.

The victorious Ogres enslaved the Skytitan's children, consumed the mammoth herds of the Skytitans, destroyed their fortresses and covered up ancient carvings depicting the Old Ones and their wisdom with grease paintings (literally, paints made of grease and charcoal from cooking fires) depicting great meals eaten by Ogre tribes. The magical radiation that the Great Maw had sent into the atmosphere made the mountain tops dangerous, and with the depletion of most of the Skytitan's mammoth herds, most Ogres continued westward. Those that stayed turned feral, grew fur, and became Yeti (called "Yhete" in Warhammer). With the mass cannibalism that followed the comet impact leaving only the strong and the War in the Sky killing off those who weren't strong enough to survive the massive war, this back to back double whammy meant that the men and women of the Ogres became even more powerful as only the toughest bastards and bitches managed to live through.

===Modern Day===
The Ogres ascended the peaks of the Giants and found themselves in the Mountains of Mourn. Here, they found more animals than they had ever dreamed of. They found Dwarfs (who believe a mountain made of solid gold is found somewhere in the Mountains of Mourn, and thus keep attempting to invade), greenskins, [[Skaven]], and Humans. Ogres kept some Goblins as pets and bred (and ate) them, and within a few generations they wound up creating a new race of servile greenskins called [[Gnoblar|Gnoblars]].
Ogres managed to push the semi-intelligent beings who originally inhabited the Mountains of Mourn (called Dragon Ogres) entirely out, leaving them confined to the Chaos Wastes. They also drove out [[Beastmen]] who had begun to dwell in the lower peaks.

Ogres carved their own territory in these lands out, and Ogre tyrants became more permanent fixtures of tribal rule rather than simply "biggest loudest guy who was still alive in the morning". They fought off any threats that came to the Ogres, among them a Daemon invasion (leading some Ogres to develop a taste for them) and a giant living glacier that the Ogres battled during a particularly bad winter (allegedly living anyway). When Orc slaves managed to escape the Chaos Dwarfs into the Mountains of Mourn, they fought with the Ogres for land and eventually found their way into valleys beyond the notice of the Ogres where they began to build their numbers. At one point the Skaven attempted to invade the Ogres. The resulting battles almost led to extinction among the Skaven, as the Ogres found their way into the tunnels and developed a taste for them.

The tribes expanded, and true diplomacy was born. Eventually some tribes discovered that there was greater gains to be had by being amicable to the smaller races than simply eating them outright (asking yearly tributes from multiple villages on a cycle gave more meat than just eating all of them and if the villagers get uppity you could have farmer steak and your wife could have seamstress soup to remind the survivors of their place, plus actually honoring the protection racket can provide ample foes to make delicious Greenskin sausage, Beastman kebab and Undead jerky), and Ogres spread throughout the world as mercenaries to be hired by anyone who had goods they could convince the Ogres had some value, and edible foes.

Ogres, by the nature of their creation, are resistant to the effects of the [[Warp]], and of magic. Despite this many ended up swearing themselves to Chaos for different reasons, be it the hedonistic encouragements of [[Slaanesh]], the encouragement for slaughter and trophy-taking by [[Khorne]], the similarity between themselves and the servants of [[Nurgle]] as well as the camaraderie of being part of a tribe that will never turn on itself (besides backstabbing the leader, but that's just par for the course), or the fact [[Tzeentch]] will either do the thinking for them so they can just focus on what they do best or give them spiffy mutations like extra mouths so they can eat even more. [[Warriors of Chaos]] make use of the Ogres as living siege weapons, while the Ogres make use of the Warriors as playthings and snacks.
But Ogres are a neutral race, just as likely to learn to read and write (at a very basic level) so they can peruse wanted posters in the Empire for bandits and vampires, all of which make lovely snacks with the bonus that the Ogre ends up with a decent amount of gold at the end with which he can purchase the clothes of an Empire nobleman (fitted about twenty sizes up) with which to dress himself so he can dine with polite society. Sometimes ON polite society if he's lucky enough to be challenged to a duel while there.
Still others sail the world, becoming pirates and devouring sea monster and crew (and ship) alike depending on who they cross paths with. Still others find employ amongst High Elves, being studied by mages of Saphery between battles against [[Dark Elves]].
Some wander [[Wood Elves|Athel Loren]], growing moss from their backs and their skin hardening like bark until they're indistinguishable from treekin themselves.
Other Ogres are even employed by said [[Dark Elves]], who were so impressed by their capacity for brutal violence they recruited Ogres instead of enslaving them.
Ogres today can be found amongst any group in the world, doing whatever they can, always eating, always looking for more. Sometimes individually, sometimes in groups.

During the [[End Times]] the Ogre Kingdoms were taken over by the Orcs under [[Grimgor Ironhide]] and joined his Beast WAAAAGH! after Ironhide defeated the last Overtyrant, [[Greasus Goldtooth]]. They invaded Cathay and later took part in the last stand against Chaos in a losing effort.

===[[Age of Sigmar]]===
Now named "Ogors" (because trademark), they exist in the mortal realms as the [[Ogor Mawtribes]]. They are largely the same, barring the division of units into “Gutbusters” (on-foot regular ogres and gnoblars) and “Beastclaw Raiders” (hunters and snowy monsters).

==Regions==
* '''Mountains of Mourn:''' Most Ogres are found in the Mountains of Mourn, considered their homeland. Those that wander or make their homes in other lands return, or send representatives, to tell their stories which usually results in some Ogres leaving the homeland and joining them. Sometimes this results in an entire tribe living outside the Mountains of Mourn, but inevitably they will seek contact again with their kin. This is the primary method through which they expand across the globe. The Mountains themselves change constantly, as they are constantly bathed in radiation from the Warp. Many dangerous animals wander the Mountains. To smaller races, these are dangerous beasts worthy of a small Crusade of [[Bretonnia|Bretonnian]] knights, or a party of High Elf White Lions of Chrace, or a hunting party of [[Vampire Counts|Strigoi and ghouls]]. To Ogres, it's either a single meal or a pet. The largest of them are at best mounts. The mountains themselves are full of caves and tunnels that lead to everything from portals to the Warp to Dwarf Fortresses, to greenskin WAAAGH!s in formation, and things ancient and unknowable beyond these; all of which are great sources of meals. Half the peaks are volcanic, half sub arctic. All bother Ogres as much as a bit of rain or sun. Mount Thug is notable in the range for actually being alive, and Ogres have a great deal of respect for those who escape being eaten or crushed by it as they scale its peaks to feed on the bloated animals that live in spaces Mount Thug can't reach. The [[Fire Mouth]] is an active volcano with periodic eruptions nearby the greatest concentrations of Ogres, and they believe it's the bastard offspring of the sun and the Great Maw. The Firebellies are a cult that worship this "god" which they believe is the wargod of the Ogre pantheon. Each Kingdom is ruled by a Tyrant, and his domain extends literally as far as he can see at his place of dwelling. Tyrants as such place a big deal of importance on thrones and hills. Tyrants that manage to gain control of important sites, like the passes that lead to the Great Maw or out to the western kingdoms face constant challenges from other Tyrants, and reap the rewards of demanding tribute (often food, sometimes a percentage of the Ogre pilgrims in the group as meat).

* '''Challenge Stone:''' A large stone found at the northernmost edge of the Mountains of Mourn and the southernmost edge of the Chaos Wastes. When held by the Warriors of Chaos, it is fought over and rededicated from one Chaos God to another. When held by Ogres, they fight to inscribe their tribe symbol on the stone for bragging rights the world over. The two sides CONSTANTLY fight over the stone. Currently controlled by the Bloodmaw tribe after they beat the shit out of a Chaos force, culminating in their Tyrant slaying a Chimera and the Chaos warlord riding it in three blows.

* '''The World:''' Seriously. They're fucking everywhere.

* '''Nippon:''' Apparently, a group of Ogres called Oni live within Nippon. It is unknown if that is just their given name by the locals, or if they are another Ogre subspecies such as Yetis and Gorgers.

==Tribes==
Ogre tribes are numerous, and constantly changing. Most are named for a notable Ogre in them, or a characteristic common to members. Ogres are not the kind to trace lineages or politics outside their own generation, and as such tribes are a mark of the present rather than past or future (some tribes do manage to defy this, existing across multiple generations. This is a rarity). Tribes change locations, even within its Tyrant's own kingdom, constantly. Memories of the coming of the Great Maw still exist, and it's within the imagination of Ogres that it could happen again one day. As such, Ogres are mostly nomadic and their possessions are few and easily packed. The most valuable thing to an Ogre is his tribe's Mawtooth, a single great tooth and flag which at gatherings of their kind is arranged with others in a circle, making an effigy of their god.

* '''Goldtooth''': A tribe lasting across multiple generations, known to be the wealthiest. Currently led by Greasus Goldtooth(that's Tradelord Greasus Tribestealer Drakecrush Gatecrasher Hoardmaster Goldtooth the Shockingly Obese to you, peasant!). Known for elaborate displays of wealth, like feeding other tribes and blinging out their gutplates. Goldtooths are known for having a large number of Ironguts, and are the most feared tribe.
<gallery> Image:Goldtooth Tribe.jpg|Goldtooth symbol. </gallery>

* '''Thunderguts''': Known for rampaging through the lands of the Old World and taking over towns or taking hostages, then demanding food as payment. They usually end up either demanding more and more, or eating their hostages. Greenskins and Empire humans alike fear them greatly.
<gallery> Image:Thunderguts Tribe.jpg|Thunderguts symbol. </gallery>

* '''Crossed Clubs''': Known for producing more Maneater mercenaries than other tribes. Also for lying constantly about everything they do, making up tall tales of glory. Each veteran (veterans themselves being a rarity amongst Ogres) wears gear obtained in their travels and proudly displays trophies earned, making them a rather motley crew of clashing colors and gearschemes (obviously the tribe designed for the greenstuff addict in mind).
<gallery> Image:Crossed Clubs.jpg|Crossed Clubs symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Sons of the Mountain''': Living on one of the tallest and coldest peaks in the Mountains of Mourn, the Sons of the Mountain tribe are wealthy from trading the meat, pelts, and ivory of creatures that live only in their home. Many Yhete are found amongst them, and the Ogres of the Sons of the Mountain paint themselves entirely in white paint and dwell amongst the beasts they hunt directly.
<gallery> Image:Sons of the Mountain.jpg|Sons of the Mountain symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Feastmasters''': Known a generation ago for producing high quality meals (for a portion of the feast), the current Tyrant Blaut Feastmaster captured Halflings from the Moot in his travels. To this day, Halflings fill the role for Feastmasters that Gnoblars fulfill for most tribes. As a result, the Feastmaster cooking has improved greatly.
<gallery> Image:Feastmaster.jpg|Feastmaster symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Rock Skulls''': The toughest tribe of Ogres, who are known best for the skill of breaking boulders with their heads (apparently a big deal among Ogres). They're also known for being fairly unintelligent. When Skarsnik the Goblin waged his great wars against the Dwarfs, he brought the entire Rock Skull tribe with him as support. In negotiations with the Goblins for what they were willing to pay for the support of the tribe, he convinced the Rock Skulls to instead pay HIM for them to fight.
<gallery> Image:Rock Skulls.jpg|Rock Skulls symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Blood Guzzlers''': Inhabit the areas of the Mountains of Mourn known to host more giant spiders than anywhere else in the world. That's...pretty much it. They eat spiders.
<gallery> Image:Blood Guzzlers.jpg|Blood Guzzlers symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Ironskins''': Physically powerful Ogres that wear black gutplates. Known for taking massive numbers of captives, and not eating them, they trade freely with the [[Chaos Dwarfs]], and their Tyrant rides a mechanical mount given to him to provide better ties between the two groups.
<gallery> Image:Ironskin.jpg|Ironskin symbol. </gallery>

* '''Lazarghs''': The single oldest tribe, descended from Groth Onefinger himself. Live closest to the ancient Giant lands, most have mutated in various (non-Chaos) ways and cover themselves with cloaks. Their teeth fall out often, leading them to simply jab black jagged rocks directly into their gums, horrifying even the toughest, most scarred Ogres. They carry bells, and hang them to mark the pass to the Great Maw.
<gallery> Image:Lazarghs.jpg|Lazargh symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Mountaineaters''': Recently, an Ogre named Bauldig Mountaineater conquered every challenge Ogres had to offer him. Climbed Mount Thug, fought every beast, and destroyed Bigstride Peak by burrowing in and eating the heart of that mountain. A tribe of fanboys and groupies gathered to him, each eating rocks and dwelling in caves. The only meat they eat comes from subterranean races like goblins, Dwarfs, and Skaven.
<gallery> Image:The Mountaineaters.jpg|Mountaineater symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Eyebiters''': A clan that controls a series of desolate passes leading to and from many of the Ogre lands. They demand large tributes from any who pass through, and raid all settlements and hunt all monsters within their range. The Tyrant of the Eyebiters has fathered more children to grow into adulthood than any Ogre.
<gallery> Image:The Eyebiters.jpg|Eyebiters symbol. </gallery>

* '''Tribe of Shrewd Fulg''': A tribe of Ogres scared shitless of showing the barest hint of rebellion against their Tyrant, Shrewd Fulg, despite him being old and hunchbacked. Why? Because Shrewd Fulg is a spiteful slaver who trades his own tribesmembers to the Skaven of Clan Moulder to mutate into Rat Ogres. Even his own bodyguards don't dare to fart in his vicinity.

==Army==

===Characters===
* '''[[Greasus Goldtooth]]:''' The current Overtyrant of the Ogres in the Mountain of Mourn. Gained leadership of his tribe after killing and eating his own father in a pit fight.

* '''Golgfag Maneater:''' The greatest Ogre mercenary alive, and the one all others are named after. He earned renown fighting against the Dwarfs in the World Edge Mountains, eating, fighting and robbing his way into notoriety. At first fighting against the dwarfs of Karak Kadrin, then for them after pissing off his Orc employer by drinking all the booze, then robbing the Dwarf King blind, '''after they paid him'''. Golgfag got locked up by those same dwarfs later. He impressed Ungrim Ironfist by eating everyone else in the dungeon but his oldest friend(who still lost a leg). Ungrim wept that such a majestic creature was being imprisoned and ordered his release. His rap sheet includes: looting on Ulthuan, being decorated by Karl Franz, coining the Ogre slang word for Knights as "Tinned Food", making and losing countless fortunes, and downing more of the dwarfs' most prized beer then most of them have even seen. He's so famous that his title of Maneater has become the word for all Ogre Mercenaries. Golgfag got the title after eating his human paymaster and making off with the gold chests. Despite the name he'll eat anything like any other Ogre, though he especially likes halfling. Golgfag leads the renowned and rather imaginatively named mercenary band "Golgfag's Maneaters".

* '''Bragg The Gutsman:''' Traveling bruiser and executioner. As a young Ogre Bragg found he had a talent for killing shit, naturally knowing where to swing for the best results. Bragg was a fairly average brusier until he forged his signature weapon "Great Gutgouger" from the magical axes of a Black Orc Warboss he killed, which increased his killing ability tenfold. What made him infamous however was his discovery that he could cut around other Ogre's gutplates disemboweling them. Ogres are scared shitless of him because of this, since Ogres' guts are sacred to them and Ogre anatomy means its a long, nearly irreversible and agonizing death as their guts unravel after being disemboweled. Bragg realized he had a good thing going, and left his tribe to go solo, taking his one man murder show on the road seeking battle. He is welcomed by all tribes to fight alongside them thanks to his killing ability, but feared and hated as he inevitably cuts someone from that same tribe open for challenging him, at which point he gets kicked out. Bragg isn't bothered one bit, happily leaving to do it all over again somewhere else. He can't become a Tyrant since no Ogres are willing to follow him thanks to his grim reputation, even if he kills the old one. He wears a black hood like some human executioners, figuring if he's got a fierce reputation, might as well make the most of it.

* '''[[Skrag the Slaughterer]]:''' The Great Prophet of the Great Maw. Viciously attached to his back is a giant pot, which he fills with enemies AS HE FIGHTS. What he misses is grabbed by Gnoblars in service directly to him (ranking them above even common Ogres) and put into the pot. He was the head Slaughtermaster of the Rockgrinder tribe. He angered the Tyrant by cooking their favorite Gnoblar and serving it to him at a feast. In retribution the Tyrant hacked off and ate both of Skrag's hands, had his pot chained to his body, then cast him into tunnels even Ogres feared. He immediately impaled his former cooking tools into his stumps, and set forth. Long forgotten Gorgers attacked him, and they found themselves hacked up and in his pot. After dicing up their leader, the Gorgers followed him as if members of a tribe he leads. He found himself reaching the surface through a cavern none of the Gorgers had ever seen before. He and his followers set upon the tribe, killing and feasting on them all. Upon putting the finishing touches on a lovely dish made entirely out of the former Tyrant, his wounds sans his missing hands healed and his pot and cooking implements were strengthened with the magic of the Great Maw. Now a tribeless Ogre, Skrag wanders the lands of the Ogres joining in battles whenever he can. Welcomed by all, he not only turns the tide of battle but also prepares and cooks the resulting corpses with great skill.

* '''Shrewd Fulg''': An old and irritable tyrant who sells his own kind to Skaven to make into Rat Ogres in return for having Clan Moulder back his rule. His tribe appears in Total War Warhammer 3, but he doesn't appear, opting to lead from behind the scenes as he is old and hunchbacked. Instead, his henchman Targog is who you speak to during diplomacy and who you fight in battles.

* '''Braugh the Slavelord''': Braugh was once a prisoner to a Necromancer, but he escaped his bonds, found the Necromancer in a coffin, beat him to death with a chair and skinned him. Afterwards he celebrated by eating half the Necromancer's other captives and taking the rest as slaves, but then he discovered something ''very'' interesting. The magic of the Necromancer lingered on in a set of chains; Braugh now uses those chains to cast spells as a Wizard and bind his slaves' souls so that if they die, they come back as a Zombie. This allows him to make a very profitable living as both a slave trader and a spellslinger-for-hire.

===Generic Characters===
* '''Tyrant:''' The head of an Ogre tribe. Rules by virtue of his ability to defeat challengers, and reputation. Anyone can challenge the Tyrant for his position in a fight without gutplates where the loser is eaten alive. These fights are the most common form of entertainment for Ogres. Tyrants have the best gear, the most names, and most children of any Ogre in a given tribe.

* '''Bruisers:''' The subordinates of the Tyrants, and oftentimes future Tyrants come from their ranks. They can do anything they want so long as it doesn't offend the Tyrant or their fellow Bruisers. Like the Tyrant, Bruisers can be challenged to one on one combat. The winner eats the loser, and attains the rank of Bruiser.

* '''Slaughtermaster/Butcher:''' The priesthood of the Ogres, Butchers handle all meat considered the property of the Tyrant, Bruisers, or the whole tribe. Considered a direct line between the Great Maw and the common Ogre, Butchers enjoy a position equal to Tyrants but entirely separate. Tyrants take great care not to offend Butchers lest the tribe abandon him fearing a comet crashing down atop their heads. Butchers are known to kill any Ogres who offend them to feed to the group, or to randomly take body parts from the tribe for flavoring. They carry holy implements, all of which aid in cooking or preparing, at all times. They are larger than any other Ogre in any given group, getting the best choice of meat and consuming it (being a direct link between the tribe and the Great Maw). Butchers do not wear gutplates as a declaration of faith that the Great Maw has got their <s>backs</s> guts. Any Ogre child with a gift for magic, or is seen blessed in some way, is taken by a Butcher and fed a copious amount of meat. As he grows, he is fed things that are poisonous and inedible even to ogres to strengthen his gut (based on the real-life practice called mithridatism - ingesting poisons to develop a resistance or immunity to them) things to make his gut ever stronger to hold the essence of the Great Maw. Most Butchers learn the Gut Magic of the Ogres, being things related to their culture like strengthening the skin of Ogres, tenderizing the meat of (still living) enemies, and causing the earth to swallow foes alive as sacrifice "appetizers". Others learn other magic Lores, all in their belief related to the Great Maw (Lore of Heavens=the comet, Lore of Death=consumption from the Great Maw, and so on). Slaughtermasters are simply the leaders amongst the Butchers.

* '''Hunters:''' Lone Ogres who take the role of a WoW huntard. Usually tribeless, they wander through the mountains and wild in search of beasts to prey upon. Sometimes they’ll even take some of them alive and bring them back to some other tribe as a gift to the Tyrant. A feast will be held in the Hunter’s honor where he will tell stories about his adventures before quietly vanishing back into the wilderness.

* '''Firebellies:''' Strange religious fanatics that worship a volcano called the Fire Mouth. There are three tests. The first is to eat super-hot chili (powerful enough that it's implied to be a laxative, a substitute for boiling oil or both) and keep it down. Then they have to track down and eat a giant firebug that lives in volcanoes. The final test to join the cult is to be dipped into the caldera of the Fire Mouth, eat a mouthful of magma and come out alive. Though, on the upside, those who survive can breathe fire, use fire magic and are almost immune to heat.

===Core===
* '''Ogre Bulls:''' The basic Ogre that lacks any particular rank. Ogres are (repeatedly) described as having a bully mentality by GW (oh the irony). If they want it, they try to take it. If you aren't respecting them enough, or it's been too long since they reminded you WHO gets the respect, they rough you up. The only way to stop them is to prove you're better than them, at which point they'll likely back the fuck off and suck up to you as the new boss (this behavior is reminiscent of Orks in 40k, however Orks tend to naturally follow the biggest whereas Ogres are likely to see "biggest" as a challenge to their own masculinity and attempt to EAT the biggest Ogre, and become the biggest themselves). Generally speaking, most Ogres are dumb as rocks and it takes an extraordinary Ogre to learn lessons. Those that do invariably reach some degree of old age, and probably aren't in this category for long.

* '''Ironguts:''' Ironguts are the basic Ogre, but with armor. They tend to be a bit tougher than their fellows as a means of natural selection, since Ogres squabble amongst each other for gear, so the Ogre who manages to KEEP his equipment is one that can't be challenged by un-armored Ogres for it. The types of equipment varies; for some Ogres, it's the tools from a farm the Ogres consumed (livestock, crops, AND family. Probably the house and their little dog too) bent and tied as weapons and the shield and flattened helmets of the local town guard tied to their limbs for armor. For others, it's a well crated suit of Gromril armor from the Dwarfs who the Ogre has served as a mercenary. Some Ironguts have evolved natural armor, like Ogres who have lived for so long in Nehekhara that the sand has been worn directly into their skin, compacting as they flex until it's almost like they have stone skin. Bruisers and Tyrants have some say as to who is an Irongut and who isn't, as divvying up the spoils of war usually falls to them (if they're giving out any at all). Like Silver Helms for High Elves and Black Orcs for greenskins, Ironguts are the Ogre variety to which most of the race looks to as exemplary of their kind.

* '''[[Gnoblar|Gnoblars]]:''' Small greenskins that evolved to their current state when Ogres moved from the mountains of the Giants to the Mountains of Mourn. Gnoblars have the place of being the singularly most mistreated beings in either Warhammer setting, as Ogres see them somewhere between vermin like insects that are simply a fact of life to deal with, or very low and undepletable slaves. Sometimes as food if there's nothing better around, although some Gnoblars wind up in the position of "favorite hunting dog" as long as the Ogre can remember them. Meanwhile, Gnoblars see Ogres as a mix of living gods and eternal masters. They differ from Goblins in that they are much smaller, and while Goblins have pronounced noses the face of a Gnoblar is mostly nose. This gives them a beak appearance, making them resemble a Jim Henson Muppet character.

===Special===
* '''Leadbelchers:''' Ogres who carry around field cannons as hand weapons, which they will shove just about every jagged object into and hit people with in close quarters like some ginormous shotguns. They are typically seen as rather unhinged by their fellow Ogres, which usually means that they get to be good for a bit of fun. Their cannons also look suspiciously like Imperial and Dwarf cannons (in fact, they do take them after successful fights or get themselves custom-forged guns from the Chaos Dwarves). If these guys don't have at least one scar, such as missing eyes, burnt skin, disfigured faces, etc., they're doing it wrong.

* '''Maneaters:''' If this was D&D these guys would be an ogre adventurer. They can take a variety of special rules and special gear, and make themselves look like the corresponding region they've been working in, such as stabbing feathers into their skull like State Troopers without the headgear, or jabbing sharp rocks into their gums to emulate vampires. On a more practical level some of them pick up some interesting tools in foreign parts like muskets.

* '''Sabretusk Pack:''' Sabre tooth tigers, but wolves, great for hunting war machines. Though with LD 4 they will run from anything. Standard use is to get a single one and run it into the nearest cannon - If someone focuses it out, they've severely wasted some shots that could've gone to cutting down Ogres.

* '''Yhetees:''' The Ogres frozen, mutant, hillbilly cousins. Got all magical attacks, not really good for much else though. Their models also look even more like deranged chimpanzees than the old Gutter Runner models.

* '''Mournfang Cavalry:''' Ogres on the backs of smaller woolly mammoths (as in "as small as a trebutchet"), great for causing mayhem to your opponents troops. Known for being one of the only things that can scare Chaos Knights.

* '''Gorgers:''' Albino baby ogres who were born without a characteristic paunch whoa are thrown to die in a tribes warpstone caves, but these ones survived by eating whatever they can find down there: such as rats, roaches, rocks [[Grimdark|and each other]]. In lore these landshark troglodytes are supposed to be both insanely aggressive and hungry with high killing capabilities. Tabletop-wise they are also known for being pretty useless... But then again, what do you expect from a emaciated albino loser?

===Rare===
* '''Gnoblar Scraplaunchers:''' Sometimes, a group of Gnoblars get together to fight alone - Most of the times, that will be in huge rabbles of mutant Goblins below even slave status, which won't do much other than piss off a unit of Chaos Warriors, but once in a while, they'll get together, find a woolly rhino and strap a chariot to it, on which a catapult is placed. Unfortunately, Gnoblars can only get to the smallest of objects, as Ogres take all the rest, so it's mostly scrap and stuff they throw about with it... Fortunately, there's a lot of scrap in an Ogre camp.

* '''Ironblasters:''' Same chariot, same rhino, but with an Ogre on top, alongside a fucking big cannon, taken from the Skyholds of the Giants back in the day. As such, these cannons are sorta held as relics in the individual tribes, as much as an inedible thing can be to Ogres. Also known for being ''the'' cannon in the game that can move AND shoot. I'll say it again. Move. And. Shoot. Can also charge and kill stuff as a chariot. Truly, Ogre Kingdoms is the superior WFB faction.

* '''Slave Giants:''' Said people the Ogres stole the cannons from. Also made them into inbred animals and reduced them to sub-tribal wandering monsters. Also still use them for battle, because fuck them, right? Basically the same as any other Giant in any other faction, but here, they are enslaved by the race that destroyed their civilization ''unknowingly'', because Ogres never really kept history like that. Ogres are dicks like that.

* '''Stonehorns:''' A mammoth/rhino hybrid with stone bones, and the attitude of a pissed-off bull in a china shop. Have so great an urge to headbutt ''anything'' they see that only the youngest of the race have any skin on their forehead, which leads to them looking like Skeletor, if Skeletor was made of stone. They eat minerals and meat, so gemstones protrude from their bones like freckles from skin. For some-odd reason, Ogre Hunters use them as mounts, which really doesn't make sense, as the fucking thing can't stand straight unless it's headbutting the ground it's standing on, but no one's gonna complain about having a steed that can literally bulldoze just about anything into the ground. Also, there's the question of how the hell they reproduce since Stonehorns of either gender would be too busy head-butting everything in sight to actually mate. The best guess on how that process works would be that the male has to headbutt the female until she's too tired to fight him before mating with her.

* '''Thundertusks:''' Legends are told about the legendary thundertusk "Fridge" who acompanied a band of ogres through the Empire and coined the term "Fridgereted" for frozen chunks of meat that will keep fresh throughout the winter. Less volatile than the Stonehorn, Thundertusks are used as combined fridge, walking meat and watchtowers, with one or two Ogres sitting on top with ranged weaponry like throwing spears, harpoon launchers held like crossbows and fucking sabertooth-jaws fitted on chains, so the Ogre in question can make the enemy come over to him. Thundertusks are naturally freezy, and makes its surroundings colder by being there. This is quite useful for freezing less tough creatures down, so the Ogres can catch them before they slit their bellies. They even have a frost-breath-like attack for further freezing. Shame it looks like a retarded mandrill fused with a mammoth, but without the trunk. One might find oneself asking how the Thundertusk eats when it has so many tusks and the like in the way. The answer? Well...I don't have one, but hopefully there is one out there somewhere. Edit: Apparently it's a combination of skill, a long and dexterous tongue, and using their tusks to flip the meat of slain prey into the air and directly into their gaping maws.

==Total Warhammer==
[[File:BasedOgres.png|thumb|right|300px]]

Ogre Mercenaries are going to be recruitable for all factions after getting their FLC through Total War Access, with individual locations that they can be recruited from randomly appearing around areas where conflicts and battles occur, as is frankly logical for mercenaries. These mercenary units include thicc dual-wielding ogres, thicc Maneaters wielding a weapon and a "pistol", and extra thicc Mournfang Cavalry. This is certainly just a taste (heh) of the Ogres before the full Ogre Kingdoms factions release as pre-order DLC for [[Total War: Warhammer|Total Warhammer]] 3, which really wasn't that all surprising given the Ogre Kingdoms were always a full faction in WFB while the iffier sorts of Kislev and Cathay were confirmed for 3's release factions instead.

As of November 4th, 2021, they got a trailer, and even got a song with it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Bbp98oMsjA

As unlikely as it was, even minor background character Shrewd Fulg was able to make an indirect appearance, as his tribe, simply called "Fulg" as a shortening of "Tribe of Shrewd Fulg" appears as a minor faction. In an un-Ogre-like way, Shrewd Fulg doesn't lead his own armies in battle, being old and hunchbacked. Instead, his henchman Targog acts as the face you speak to during negotiations and war.

Total War also revealed that a civilization of intelligent, multicolored, talking ponies lived in a hidden valley within the Ogre Kingdoms, inspired by My Little Pony. They don't even make an appearance as models in the game, their entire civilization is immediately butchered and devoured by the Ogres in a special encounter.

==Misc Fluff==
* Ogres don't have priests. Butchers and cooks are their holy men. The only interest Ogres have in the faiths of others is in traditions related to eating. This can be awkward when, in the company of a group of Sigmarites for example, the Ogre bodyguard keeps commenting on how he can't wait for someone to die for the funeral feast (even more awkward when he thinks that eating the body of the deceased is part of it).
* Most Ogres wear a piece of armor over their stomach, a gutplate. Gutplates are sort of the equivalent of full plate armor for Ogres, as their most important organs are all hidden behind the large race-wide paunch they have. Helmets and shoulderpads are secondary as anything big enough to pierce an ogre's head and shoulders with weapons would likely ignore the armor anyway. Plus, given their fixation on eating and the god they worship, their guts are considered sacred. Only Butchers and Slaughtermasters eschew a gutplate, preferring to put their trust in the Great Maw to protect them.
* In older lore, Tyrants love their favorite weapons. An Ogre touching the Tyrant's weapon, who wasn't the Tyrant himself, was punished by being force-fed their own hands.
* Ogres enjoy pitfighting, and use it to settle disputes. The winner is allowed to eat part of the loser, ranging from an appendage (such as a nose) to an entire limb. If Ogres remove their gutplates in a pit fight, that means it's a fight to the death where the winner will eat the loser in front of the crowd.
* Ogres are known to collect names. Their first name is usually a guttural sound made by the mother or father upon seeing the infant, the last being their tribe. But anything they choose to add to their name from their life experiences is attached as well. Sometimes these names are less than complimentary words Ogres don't understand like "debased" or "unscrupulous" or "acrid". The result can be interesting ("Gulk 'Scampered Engorged Beareater Bling Topsyturvy Gelatinous' Goldtooth" for example). These names literally strengthen the Ogres on the tabletop, counting as upgrades that came from the experiences they had (also a bit of Orkish "clap your hands if you believe, and it will happen" style magic).
* Ogre Biology is weird. For one their gut isn't actually filled with fat, but rows upon rows of muscle, which lets them crunch up anything inside with ease. Their skin is also extremely thick (literally) which also hints that they likely don't have any feeling in them, allowing them to do cringe-worthy levels of stuff to their outer hides (like piercing them with hooks) that other saner races would rarely do.
** Between cultural/religious and biological reasons, being disemboweled is considered the worst possible way to die for ogres; Ogres only die when all their guts finish pouring out of the stomach wound, and ogres have ''lots and lots and lots'' of intestines, so it's a slow, irreversible, and incredibly painful process. Even watching another ogre get disemboweled can cause a reaction similar to men watching another man getting his balls slowly crushed. Gutplates prevent this (for the most part), so Gut Up, young bull!
* It's possible that the Halflings and Ogres were meant to be companion species in a similar manner to Kroxigors and Skinks. While there are exceptions, members of the two races have an uncanny tendency to get along when they meet. After the depature of the Old Ones left the two species in seperate geographic locations, the Ogres started taking on Gnoblars as their protectorates, which could be related to their affinity with Halflings through the Ogres trying to fill in the void caused by their missing companions with an inferior substitute.

==Crunch(ing and Biting)==
Ogres are a low pop army with lots of fun rules. They're fairly strong right now, so they're increasingly popular. Despite this, most new players don't know much about Ogre Kingdoms fluff so by doing your research you can easily gain some 'ham cred.
Ogres on the charge hit like artillery blasts. Ogres can upgrade their standard bearers to have Gnoblars in a makeshit crows nest on top of them, allowing all characters and the champion in the unit to get "Look Out Sir" benefits. In addition, Ogres get a few nifty weapons no other army gets.

==Gallery==
NOTE: Some of the models below are conversions, but there are official GW models among them. Can you guess which is which?

<gallery>
Image:Araby Ogre.png|Araby Ogre
Image:1.jpg|Beastmen Ogre
Image:Bretonnian Ogre.png|Bretonnian Ogre
Image:Cathay Ogre.png|Cathay Ogre
Image:Dark Elf Ogre.jpg|Dark Elf Ogre
Image:Dwarf Ogre.png|Dwarf Ogre
Image:Chaos Dwarf Ogre.jpg|Chaos Dwarf Ogre
Image:9.jpg|High Elf Ogre
Image:Lizardmen Ogre.jpg|Lizardmen Ogre
Image:Nippon Ogre.jpg|Nippon Ogre
Image:Orcs and Goblins Ogre.jpg|Orcs & Goblins Ogre
Image:Skaven Ogre.jpg|Skaven Ogre
Image:Empire Ogre.jpg|Empire Ogre
Image:Tomb Kings Ogre.png|Tomb Kings Ogre
Image:Vampire Counts Ogre.jpg|Vampire Counts Ogre
Image:Warriors of Chaos Ogre.jpg|Warriors of Chaos Ogre
Image:Wood Elves Ogre.jpg|Wood Elves Ogre
Image:Ninja Ogre.png|Ninja Ogre
Image:Pirate Ogre.png|Pirate Ogre
Image:Female Ogre.png|Crossdressing Ogre
Image:8039787889_96ed2c0f29_k.jpg|ogre Slaan
7180203363 d2bffd50f0 k.jpg|lustrian standard
7176858107 e68eecf828 o.jpg|lustrian bulls
7180207541 159c1f51e1 k.jpg|lustrian bruiser
7362010446_d8e5ba564e_o.jpg|lustrian thundertusk
8815390127 6f698fd585 o.jpg|lustrian "sabretusk"
10800351164 e09f18840b o.jpg|lustrian hunter
Bullunit.jpg|orc bulls
DSC03006.JPG|Cathay
Leadbelcherwip011.jpg|orc leadbelchers
Assdffe.jpg|tzeentch bull
Lizardmen2.jpg|lizardmen leadbelcher
Skaven2.jpg|skaven
Blood Bowl Lady Ogres.jpg|Lady Ogres in Blood Bowl. EXTRA THICC
WarhammerOgreGF.png|A wandering female Maneater serving as a bodyguard falls for her liege.
OgreWomenLoveCathayanFood.jpg
</gallery>

==See Also==
* [[Warhammer/Tactics/8th Edition/Ogre Kingdoms|Ogre Kingdoms tactica]] for playing them in WHFB.
* [[Warhammer/Tactics/6th_Edition/Ogre_Kingdoms|Ogre tactics for the glorious 6th edition]]
* [[Ogre Kingdoms Creation Tables]] to make your own tribe.
* [[Ogryn]] for their 40k counterparts.
* [[Ogor Mawtribes]] for their AoS sucessors.

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer Fantasy Battle}}

{{Regions and areas of the Old World}}
[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Ogre Kingdoms]]