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Chess

2016-08-27T16:35:37Z

2600:8803:1C02:A800:D8DB:730A:7815:302F:

[[Image:Chessblackarmy.jpg|thumb|Chess, yes it IS this exciting.]]

:''"They say it's the game of kings. That chess teaches one to think strategically. What a load of rubbish! Both sides have identical pieces, the rules stay invariably the same. How does this mirror real life?"''
:--Radovid, on why chess completely fucking fails as a wargame.

The most famous tabletop game in all of human history, though according to /tg/, '''chess''' is just a cheap western knockoff of the ancient Chinese game of <strike>[[go]]</strike> ''Wei Qi''. Despite its rampant popularity and how it is associated with geniuses, it is obvious it fails in every way to simulate war, tactics, combat or anything else it has been hyped over for centuries about. Common complaints include the lack of army list and deployment options, the Knight's plain weird movement and the fact that the King is both the most important piece and completely useless (though that could just be a political statement).
__NOTOC__
==Rules==
;Basic rules
* Two players play this game.
* [[Image:Checkmate.png|thumb|<del>[[Just as planned]]</del>. [[Derp|That's not even a legal move!]]]]The players' goal is to kill the King of the opponent. This is called a checkmate; the Persian "Shāh Māt" literally means "The king is dead" with some changes in Arabic. If the king is threatened, we call it check and - because of the Brutality Rule (below) (and because you would immediately lose after it) - you cannot allow him to be killed. You have to:
** move the King away,
** get a piece of your own between the King and the piece threatening to provide cover or
** capture the attacker piece.
*If you can't do any of these, the death of the King is inevitable; you lose.
* If a King is dead, his troops will surrender IMMEDIATELY. If you expose your king but you can kill the enemy king in the next move, you still lose (and thus, are not allowed to expose him in the first place, because of the Rule of Brutality).
* You can also lose when you resign, or if you run out of time (on a timed game, only professional games). If neither player has enough resources to kill the enemy King, or if both players agree to this, the game ends in a tie. Stalemate also ends the game in a tie, look below.
* The game doesn't encourage passive play, if the same position is repeated three times or if 50 turns pass without moving a pawn or killing anyone, there is no progress made and both players are allowed (not forced) to claim a tie.

;The arena
The battlefield is an 8 by 8 board, the columns (files) marked with letters, the rows (ranks) with numbers so that the squares can be referenced easily (with [[Main Page|d4]] or similarly). The board is checkered, h1 is white.

The game is played in turns, one turn is the period of time between (for example) before white's move to after black's next move.

;Brutality rule
Even pre-teen kids play this game, so no actual killing is ever shown. The game ends if a king is threatened with inevitable "capture". So, it's against the rules to expose your king (for example, by moving a piece previously granting cover to the king (think of it as if the piece was pinned down) or moving the king to a threatened square) because the opponent could kill the king. (These moves would only be good for losing anyway.) Also, when killing any other pieces, it's officially called capturing them.
However, throughout history, and in military philosophy, it is generally considered that if one can get their opponent to surrender and they can't gain anything from surrendering beyond what the conquerer sees fit, that is better and more productive than a fight, which is risky and whose resources could be better spent elsewhere. Today is the logic behind military cyber attacks followed up by an email, for example, letting opponents know their system has been compromised.

;Combat system
In this game, initiative is key because there ''aren't'' tons of hit points granted for every piece. If your piece attacks first, even a pawn can kill the enemy queen, because everyone has only a single wound. Everyone is always surprised (apparently they don't really want to fight and are forced to by the king) so if it's your turn, you can capture any piece you threaten. You can't attack pieces through cover (except with the Knight). You can't move without attacking (except with the pawn) but you can attack empty squares too (again, except with the pawn). If you attack either an empty square or an enemy piece, you'll win the fight and you must move the attacking piece to the attacked square. This move is compulsory, you cannot decide not to. You can't attack your own piece, even when they provide cover for the enemy, we aren't [[skaven|savages]] here. Quite easy and streamlined, eh? Guess it reminds you of [[4e|something]]...

=== The Pieces ===
[[Image:Chessmechs.jpg|center|640px]]
Unlike similar games, you don't get to assemble your battleforce. It is probably because the field is rather small (40' by 40'), and both players have 16 pieces. So the starting force is the same for both players (an approximately 38-point army).

'''King:''' {WARBOSS} <big>♔ ♚</big> One of the weakest individual pieces, he is on the battlefield to give the army a morale bonus to fight indefinitely. If one interprets each turn as perpetual fighting and movement, they drug their troops. But in the context of classical warfare, the turn might represent an entire year, where warfare meant a lot of standing around waiting and little bursts of conflict. He can attack all the squares around him like any basic D&D characters. He isn't worth any points but you must field one to play, and he is subject to the Brutality rule as outlined above.

'''Rook:''' {TRUKK} <big>♖ ♜</big> You have two of these powerful pieces. They are basically castles with cannons on them so they can attack everything in the row and column they are on(but watch out, Cover rules apply for them too). Just like everyone else, they can only attack once per turn. Funnily enough, they too have to move to the square they attacked. Capable of "Castling," a complex maneuver outlined below. They are said to be worth 5 points.

'''Bishop:''' {MEKBOYZ} <big>♗ ♝</big> People will tell you that they have similar powers to the Rook. Don't believe them! Basically, they can do everything the Rook can, but only diagonally, which means that half of the battlefield is simply as unreachable as another continent. This is why you get two of them, one for the white squares, and another for the black. Due to this limitation, they are considered worth less than the Rooks at 3 points.

'''Queen:''' {BOSS} <big>♕ ♛</big> This is easy. She gets to do everything the Rook AND the Bishop can. She is the strongest piece in your army, she '''''really''''' doesn't get [[-4 STR]]. Tournament rules only permit fielding one Queen per army, but an army can airdrop the equipment to turn a Pawn into another Queen as reinforcements in the late game if they can get far enough into enemy territory. The Queen became a powerful piece when the game came to Europe, back in India she and the king were almost equally incompetent with the Queen being slightly better. Today, the Queen is globally accepted as the most powerful single piece on the board. Point value is 9, and worth every one.

'''Knight:''' {BOYZ}} <big>♘ ♞</big> This is the most controversial piece of the Chess army. People will tell you that it's difficult to keep in mind how they can attack. Lies! It's very easy: a Knight is basically a character with a reach weapon. He can't attack squares next to him and he can attack all the squares 10 feet of him, except the ones which the Queen would be able to (most likely balance reasons, and everything about chess is a giant commentary on feudal hierarchy, i.e., the Queen<the Knight). This leaves 8 targetable squares, arranged in L-shapes around him. He is also the only piece able to attack pieces behind cover. Still, for their limited range and mobility, the are considered as valuable as a bishop unit at 3 points.

'''Pawn:''' {GRETCHIN}<big>♙ ♟</big> The backbone of your army. You've got 8 of them, and they can move only forward one step in a turn. If they haven't moved or attacked yet, they can move two squares to give them a head start. However, unlike most pieces, they can't attack forward, only diagonally, forward-left or forward-right, and they can't attack empty squares. They seem quite weak and indeed, they are the unit against which others are measured, being worth only a single point, but this changes when they reach the opponent's end of the battlefield. When they are there, they don't become unusable, they get special powers instead: They will become a queen, a rook, a bishop or a knight (your choice). No you cannot make your pawn into another king, as much sense as it would make to have a backup (or not, given that doubling your opponent's chances for a checkmate or Brutality rule shenanigans is effin' stupid). This doesn't even take a turn, at the moment they reach the end of the battlefield, you can switch the pieces. In professional play, the arbiter can provide you with the extra piece, in casual play, you can just use counters. If your opponent claims that you can only use previously captured pieces, either he lies or I do right now, and it's not a bad idea to just agree on this sort of thing in advance.

=== Army setup ===
[[Image:Chess_algebraic_notation.png|right]]
White can field pieces from a1 to h2, black from h8 to a7. Each army is built with 38 points + one "King" command unit. Flexibility was sacrificed for the sake of game balance, so both armies must deploy the same units in a strict predefined formation. This is enforced even outside tournament matches; almost all chess players will refuse to play if you don't assemble and deploy your 38-point army in this manner.

* You place the King and the Queen to the middle of the row closest to the players: Queens d1 and d8, Kings e1 and e8.
* Next to them (c1, g1, c8, g8) come the bishops, then the knights and finally the rooks.
* The second row (a-h 2 and a-h 7) is filled with the 8 pawns of the players.

== The gameplay ==

* First both players roll a die. Whoever rolled higher rejoices; white starts. The players take turns after each other to play.
* To maximize tactical combat, you and your opponent can use only one piece in a turn, unlike games where you move all of them in the same turn.
* In your turn, you have to attack (or move) with a piece. You can't pass. After all, this battle is lead by The King Himself, we can't just do nothing!
* If you can't move but your King isn't threatened right now, the game ends in a tie. This is called a stalemate and is often the refuge of the inferior side in the endgame.

=== Variants ===

Chess is nothing but a huge ripoff of older and cooler games (Shatranj, Chess with elephants, hell yes) but has still managed to give birth to a few amusing variants. One is commonly called "Bughouse" (like that has to do with anything) or "4 player chess". Most people cry witchcraft at this point, but it actually works. Bughouse is two teams playing against each other so that one member of each team is white and the other is black. (It's racist but what can you do?) Every time your partner takes a piece he hands it to you. Every turn you have you can either move a piece that's already on the board or drop that captured piece on any unoccupied square. Yes, this makes surprise butt sex possible through chess. By playing this way you can annoy your opponent for hours by dropping pawns all over the place as long as you have a partner with half a brain. Usually Bughouse is played on a very limited clock because no one wants to watch slow butt sex.

WARNING: Do not attempt Bughouse unless you are actually good at chess or you are likely to break your brain. A game does not get to be called Bughouse because it is played by the sane.

There are also a variety of 3D chess versions but only [[Star Trek|Trekkies]] know how to play them, so nobody cares. An interesting (in a mind-bendingly weird sort of way) variant is [[Timecube Chess]], in which chess is played in the past, future, and four simultaneous presents.

Now if you paid attention to what you just read, you may have guessed that western chess came from a much older (and very different) indian version. And that indian version did not just spawn a few variants in Europe but in eastern Asia as well. One well-known version is Shogi or japanese chess. It has two-sided pieces, a promotion system that [[FAIL|arguably makes some pieces less interesting once promoted]], a supply/capture system and some more subtleties that make [[weeaboo|some]] say that it is superior to all other versions of chess, but all in all, it's not really that exciting. Like most things in Japan, especially [[mahjong|overly complicated games that are not role-playing games]], it is considered [[serious business]].

Another variant is Xiangqi or chinese chess. There is a promotion system as well, plus the game has elephants, chariots that player call cars or tanks nowadays, catapults or cannons, your <s>king</s> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!*'''None shall taint the name of the Holy Emperor by putting him in a game!}} {{BLAM|'''*RE-BLAM!*'''The emperor is a coward and is holding the glorious revolution of the people back!}} general has two personal guards, each side has a fortress and there is a river in the middle of the battlefield. Much like western chess, all these elements are not enough to make it awesome because all of them are held back by the rules and by some logical flaws. The elephants cannot cross the river and have a stupid movement pattern so they can only be used in defense and have only seven possible positions on the board making them easy to threaten. At the end of the day, your two elephants are just trying to protect each other. The two guards cannot leave the fortress, meaning that they have only five possible positions on the board and are pretty useless. Firing the catapult [[derp|moves it to the destination of the projectile]] [[wat|and you can only fire it if there is something between it and its target.]] The promotion system only applies to pawns and the horse has the same movement pattern as the knight but cannot jump over other units. Since there is no equivalent of the bishop and queen (which means in modern terms, the 'king' would be called a 'monarch' or the 'chief executive', democratically, the 'President' or 'Prime Minister' or for extremes, the Supreme Soviet or Duce) the car (which moves exactly like the rook) and the catapult (that has a pretty retarded movement pattern) are the only pieces that can really help you control the board. Xiangqi also has loads of variants including one with four players, supplies and no river (meaning that the elephants can finally be useful), a version played mostly in Hong Kong that is pretty similar to [[Stratego]], one based on the Three Kingdoms war for three players...
Xiangqi is not that different from western chess in that the game is not as awesome as it sounds, and the general is the central piece of the game and is completely useless unless you are a manly man and decide to move your general out of the fortres and checkmate with him. That tactic is called feijiang and contrary to popular belief, does not translate to "flying general" but is chinese for "fuck you".

There is also a thai variant that resembles western chess and is actually more interesting, but nobody cares about it.

=== Special rules ===

;En Passant
The foreign name is because this is a stupid rule from a previous edition buried right at the back where nobody reads it. It's clearly an attempt by chess's authors to imitate D&D's "attack of opportunity," proving that chess is really just a bad knock-off of 4th edition D&D. If an enemy pawn moves two squares on its first move, and it arrives right next to (1 step to the left or the right) a pawn of yours, you can take it as if it only moved 1 square; the pawn is moved into the square the enemy pawn moved over (ie, where it would be if it had only moved one square) and the enemy pawn removed. This is the only way to take a piece in chess without ever occupying the same square as it. Absolutely nobody knows this rule exists the first time they encounter it; in fact, one of the biggest challenges in writing grandmaster-level chess programs is programming them to argue for half an hour that you can't do that with a pawn.

;Castling
If you think that your King is too exposed, you can "castle" him by moving the King two squares toward the Rook you want to use for this maneuver, and immediately placing the castle to the far side of the king. This is a very unrealistic representation of the king retreating to his castle, since there have been approximately zero real-life battles where a king hid behind a castle and the castle responded by wandering off and killing two knights and a member of the enemy clergy. It only takes one turn and thus, is a really powerful move, as no other Chess maneuver can re-position multiple pieces. However, this has multiple conditions:
* The King and the Rook you want to use haven't attacked or moved yet this game.
* There are no pieces between the Rook and the King.
* The King isn't threatened and he doesn't move through threatened squares (we assume that in older editions all pieces got AoOs against the King and this move was forbidden because of the Brutality Rule). Of course you cannot move him onto a threatened square either. These rules don't apply to the Rook.
* To munchkins: The King and the Rook must be on the same row, you cannot castle with a pawn-rook.

===How to suck at chess===

F2-F3 E7-E5 G2-G4 D8-H4

If this happens to you, the game says you are an idiot.

== [[Serious Business]] ==

Professional players claim that Chess is serious business so they invented a lot of extra rules like this association football throw-in rule: "At the moment of delivering the ball, the thrower must face the field of play, have both feet on the ground on or outside the touch line, and use both hands to deliver the ball from behind and over his head." - unnecessary rules that exist solely for the sake of penalizing the other player. Seriously: 310 words just about the shit you gotta do when TOUCHING the pieces. I won't 1d4ise these, so go [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess to The Other Wiki] and see for yourself.

If any of the rules aren't clear for you, why the fuck are you reading a wiki about this? There's a goddamn store in my neighborhood that sells ONLY books about chess. It's been done to death; there's probably entire shelves about chess at your local library.

==External Links==
[http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1627752/ /tg/ shows how Chess should be played]

{{Board Games}}
[[Category:Board Games]]

Lawful Stupid

2016-08-24T01:08:41Z

2600:8803:1C02:A800:D8DB:730A:7815:302F:

:''"You wear your honor like a suit of armor, Stark. You think it keeps you safe, but all it does is weigh you down and make it hard for you to move."''
:-- Lord Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish to Lord Eddard Stark, informing him that his Lawful Stupid ways will get him into trouble.

[[File:Obligatum VII.jpg|300px|thumb|right|[[Inevitable|Obligatum VII]], the definition of Lawful Stupid.]]
'''Lawful Stupid''' is gamer slang (it is derived from the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] [[alignment]] system, but can easily be applied to [[character]]s in any [[role-playing game]] -- in fact, it can be applied to characters in any medium, or even real life) for a specific way of playing a [[Lawful Good]] or, especially, a [[Lawful Neutral]] character, usually a [[Paladin]]. It is characterized by lack of common sense, following the rules arbitrarily without actually understanding them and just generally being an annoying prick. He's [[that guy]] who will stop a chase scene because he has to chastise someone that was jaywalking. Lawful Stupid players are one of the main reasons (along with asshole [[DM]]s) why people dislike the Paladin class.

It can also be a jab at the fact that Intelligence is a common [[dump stat]] for Paladins, since thanks to their [[MAD]] they require high Charisma and Wisdom (the traditional dump stats of combat classes).

Although the iconic Lawful Stupid character is a poorly-played Paladin (Alignment requirement: Lawful Good), non-Paladin depictions are almost invariably [[Lawful Neutral]], since this kind of characterization is a disappointingly logical extrapolation from a character alignment that can be summed up as "[[Judge_Dredd|the Law is the Law and all that matters is that it is the law; whether or not it helps or hurts people is irrelevant, the LAW must be upheld!]]"

Compares to [[Chaotic Stupid]], [[Stupid Evil]], [[Stupid Good]], and [[Stupid Neutral]]. There really are a lot of ways to be stupid in fantasy games, aren't there?

== Examples of Lawful Stupid ==
* The [[Inevitable]], which are divine [[golem]]-like beings with the duty to uphold laws and correct the broken ones. There's a story of one named "Obligatum VII" (the seventh in its line because six time prior people had the common sense to stop him) who trying to free the [[BBEG]] in a campaign. The story goes that some mages summoned an eldritch abomination named Pandorym to blackmail the gods. The [[wizard]]s imprisoned Pandorym instead of finishing the ritual to let it loose so that it wouldn't destroy the universe before they were ready, but the gods just smote the stupid wizards the instant they were done imprisoning Pandorym so he's stuck. Well, Obligatum is here to set things right, and make sure that poor, imprisoned omnicidal maniac gets the freedom it was promised to carry out its goal, which through some warped sense of honor it is willing to do. An omnicidal maniac who is powerful enough to destroy the entire universe regardless of whatever feeble resistance the universe's inhabitants can muster if Pandorym's mind and body were ever to be reunited. How exactly this does not bring him into conflict with another type of Inevitable, the Varakhut, whose job it is to prevent deicide is a whole other box of worms.
* The Harmonium from [[Planescape]]. ''The Harmonium believes that peace is a better end than war. [...] If it takes thumping heads to spread the truth, well, the Harmonium's ready to thump heads. Sure, there may not be peace right away, but every time the Harmonium gets rid of an enemy, the multiverse is that much closer to the universal harmony it was meant to have.'' This attitude is how the third layer of [[Arcadia]] shifted into [[Mechanus]], and the gods of Arcadia had to start over. Whoops.
* The [[Modron]] race, similarly to the Inevitables above, due to being extraplanar mechanical lifeforms who embody the Lawful Neutral environment. Except they have even less personality. Imagine a cheap 80s computer with arms, legs and the ability to beat you over the head; that's basically a Modron. They can't even understand the idea that their assumptions may be incorrect.
* Helm, the Lawful Neutral God of Guardians and Watchmen from the [[Forgotten Realms]] has earned this kind of reputation in-universe. Nobody will ''ever'' let him live it down that, during the [[Time of Troubles]], he killed Mystara, the Goddess of Magic, for trying to get back into the upper planes after Ao kicked them all out, despite the fact he knew that this would severely damage the fabric of reality in the process. As a result, [[wild magic]] zones and dead magic zones are commonly called "Helmlands". He also catches a lot of flak for the role his worshippers played in the massacres in [[Maztica]], but that's not so much Lawful Stupid as religious bigotry + the priest's only daughter being sacrificed by one of the natives and driving him into vengeful insanity..
* The stereotypical [[Space Marine]]. Stealth is cowardice, frontal assaults are the only way to go. On the occasion they do utilize tactics like stealth, feints, and flanking, it's all to help the frontal assault succeed rather than the other way around. Retreating is never an option, even if it's to gain more cover. Some will never field [[psyker]]s, ignore [[xenos]], and some won't even cooperate with other [[Space Marine Chapter]]s. A special case being [[Warhammer 40,000 Space Marine|Leandros]].
* The Starks from Game of Thrones. When Ned Stark finds out that Joffrey and his siblings are incest born bastards, he does the most asinine thing possible and tells Cersei, instead of going to Robert directly. He also tells his daughters of his plan, which causes Sansa to blab to everybody. His son Robb Stark has even more fuck ups, namely executing one of his top generals when he should have kept him around, failing to communicate with Edmure (though Edmure is incompetent), and blatantly breaking his promise to Walder Frey because he felt bad he screwed some other chick and decided to marry her in order to keep their honor intact. Admittedly, he is still a kid in the novel. This kind of shit ends up with the Starks practically destroyed.
* Rorschach from the Watchmen comicbook is this considering his utter devotion to principles. It's best illustrated in his quote "No. Not even in the face of Armageddon. '''Never compromise'''." It's later shown that he does not mean that metaphorically. He's an interesting example because he is perhaps the least 'good' of the main characters (with the exception of Comedian maybe) who has no problem with killing even when it's probably not necessary, and with absolutely no empathy. But at the same time he has his code and he sticks to it, even when it is directly stupid of him to do so. Not compromising is an absolute hallmark of lawful stupid.
* The Jedi from the Star Wars Prequels are this, as [[Ultramarines|they followed the Jedi Code - which was meant as a mere guideline - as a set of unbreakable rules]] and set out to completely repress all emotion in somewhat unfounded fear of those emotions leading to the dark side, when they should have acknowledged that which makes us human and simply taught how to use them positively. Such arbitrarily following of the code leads the Council to turn a blind eye to the various problems Anakin Skywalker was having, thereby unintentionally sealing their own downfall.
** Works set before the Prequels shows that this is hardly a new problem for the Jedi Order. Knights Of The Old Republic features a Jedi named Atris who's incredibly obsessed with following the code to the letter and wiping out the Sith. This leads to her being filled with bitterness and remorse after her best friend the Exile is kicked out of the Order, but also leaves her too arrogant to talk to anyone about it. Instead she starts to hide herself away in a temple filled with Sith holocrons to be alone and meditate, and since Sith holocrons literally exude Dark Side-tainted Force energy, she gets unknowingly corrupted into a Sith. Yes she was so Lawful Stupid that it ''turned her evil''.
[[File: Lawful_stupid.jpg|400 px|thumb|left|It's pretty much like this.]]
* The Dwarfs from Warhammer Fantasy. They are obsessed with the concept of revenge which causes them to wage many unnecessary wars, which is especially stupid since they are a dying race. This behavior is even enforced by their gods. When two dwarven lords were fighting each other in a fortress that was currently under assault by orks they eventually realized that neither of them remembered what they were fighting over and decided to put aside their differences to actually defend against the orks beating down on their gates. Both sides were promptly crushed by the gods themselves.
* Javert from Les Miserables. Properbly one of the oldest contestants on this list, Javert is the police-inspector who relentlessly pursues Jean Valjean throughout 17 years, after Jean chooses to ditch life as a marked man and begin anew. Sounds extreme? Well, Javert was in charge of Jean when he was working his ass off in prison too. Jean got there by stealing a lump of bread to feed some children. He got 20 years, 5 for the bread and the rest for resisting arrest. So when Jean chooses to not live the rest of his life with a paper on his person saying that he was a former convict, Javert's internal Justice Alarm went all haywire. Javert himself was brought up in prison, where there are only two allignments: the Law or the Convicted. Javert chose Law, and since then no one should escape their by-God-decided punishment. In fact, when Jean spares Javert's life when he could have ended the merry game of catch-the-convict-who-got-his-life-back by killing him, Javert meets a moral wall - His world is so extremely black and white, that the idea of a criminal doing good deeds is completely impossible to him. He knew that taking Jean now would be to punish a true child of God, and so did the only thing that made sense - to execute himself for insubordination. Would have made a damn good [[Commissar]], that one.
* Most modern robots. If a robot makes a mistake, it won't correct it despite it being wrong it will just do what it's told, over and over and over again regardless of the results. However, this a terrible example. Robots are not stupid because they are crippled by overzealous rule-following. They are stupid because modern CPUs don't compare well to the human brain.
* Saradomin from [[Runescape]], while well meaning for his followers. He started a god war in Naragarun world plane that led to it being attacked by way more destructive gods and as a result have a lot of people looking poorly on him for that kind of shit.
* The Sangheli, or Elites, from the Halo franchise. With a ridiculously rigid Bushido-style code of honor that makes the Ultramarines seem like pragmatic chaps, the Elites have often lost battles to humans they could have otherwise won, if they weren't so blindingly "honorable" (Ignoring for the minute that they had no problem turning a planet into slag.) Full frontal assaults, suicide charges, blindingly following three shady testicle-looking douchebags,and a stupid insistence on fighting the enemy fairly are all par for the course. But the most glaring example of their stupidity has to come from the fact that they consider it a [[What|dishonor to either get their own blood shed on the battlefield or become involved in a medical practice]]. Seriously, I WISH I was joking about that last part. The only reason they even win against the Jiralhanae (Brutes) is because the Brutes are more Stupid Evil than the Sangheli are Lawful Stupid. [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|Well, that, and the fact that they had allied with the Humans by that point.]]

== How to avoid it while playing lawful good ==
Required Reading: [[Discworld]] by Terry Pratchett, in particular anything having to do with the Witches of Lancre or the Ankh Morpork City Watch, especially Sam Vimes and Carrot Ironfoundersson. Carrot might not be very savvy when it comes to subtlety, but he is very much a good man, if a bit odd and literal at times. Some folks would argue that Vimes is Chaotic Good rather than Lawful Good, but fighting over alignments is for the [[alignment]] page -- the point is that he and Carrot are decidedly ''not'' Lawful Stupid.

Another way to play lawful good is to play your paladin like a modern soldier: able and willing to do anything needed to win, but still bound by the laws and customs of war, for example the Geneva and Hague Conventions. Those laws still restrict the actions of a soldier but he is still expected to act with common sense in order to achieve victory and not follow orders that violate those laws.

== How to avoid it while playing lawful neutral ==
This is arguably even harder than avoiding it whilst playing Lawful Good; at least Lawful Good types are ''supposed'' to balance their calling to law & order vs. their calling to good. Lawful Neutral types are categorized by their firm belief that law and order are the only things of importance, with morality being dismissed as insignificant next to maintaining of order. The primary key to doing so is to keep a proper perspective; traffic laws, for example, have their place in the scheme of things. When you are racing to prevent the nuclear annihilation of a city is ''not'' that place. Don't get so bogged down with legal minutia that you allow far greater acts of destruction and anarchy to occur in whilst you attend to the little things.

[[Judge Dredd]] can be a good example of this. For example, in the opening sequence of the 2012 ''Dredd'' movie, he pursues a car full of criminals but does not shoot at them until they collide with and kill a pedestrian, and even then only shoots to disable the van's tires. He doesn't shoot to kill until one of them threatens to kill a hostage and refuses to accept an offer to surrender. Also, when he sees a vagrant sitting outside the crime scene Dredd tells him not to be there when he gets back instead of arresting him because he has better things to do at the moment. Of course, when he's just doing the rounds on his birthday, he'll issue noise citations to children who sing to him because he is The Law (and then donate the presents he receives to an orphanage because he's not [[That Guy]]).

[[Category:Gamer Slang]]

Lawful Stupid

2016-08-24T01:07:56Z

2600:8803:1C02:A800:D8DB:730A:7815:302F: Added a quote.

:--''"You wear your honor like a suit of armor, Stark. You think it keeps you safe, but all it does is weigh you down and make it hard for you to move."''
:-- Lord Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish to Lord Eddard Stark, informing him that his Lawful Stupid ways will get him into trouble.

[[File:Obligatum VII.jpg|300px|thumb|right|[[Inevitable|Obligatum VII]], the definition of Lawful Stupid.]]
'''Lawful Stupid''' is gamer slang (it is derived from the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] [[alignment]] system, but can easily be applied to [[character]]s in any [[role-playing game]] -- in fact, it can be applied to characters in any medium, or even real life) for a specific way of playing a [[Lawful Good]] or, especially, a [[Lawful Neutral]] character, usually a [[Paladin]]. It is characterized by lack of common sense, following the rules arbitrarily without actually understanding them and just generally being an annoying prick. He's [[that guy]] who will stop a chase scene because he has to chastise someone that was jaywalking. Lawful Stupid players are one of the main reasons (along with asshole [[DM]]s) why people dislike the Paladin class.

It can also be a jab at the fact that Intelligence is a common [[dump stat]] for Paladins, since thanks to their [[MAD]] they require high Charisma and Wisdom (the traditional dump stats of combat classes).

Although the iconic Lawful Stupid character is a poorly-played Paladin (Alignment requirement: Lawful Good), non-Paladin depictions are almost invariably [[Lawful Neutral]], since this kind of characterization is a disappointingly logical extrapolation from a character alignment that can be summed up as "[[Judge_Dredd|the Law is the Law and all that matters is that it is the law; whether or not it helps or hurts people is irrelevant, the LAW must be upheld!]]"

Compares to [[Chaotic Stupid]], [[Stupid Evil]], [[Stupid Good]], and [[Stupid Neutral]]. There really are a lot of ways to be stupid in fantasy games, aren't there?

== Examples of Lawful Stupid ==
* The [[Inevitable]], which are divine [[golem]]-like beings with the duty to uphold laws and correct the broken ones. There's a story of one named "Obligatum VII" (the seventh in its line because six time prior people had the common sense to stop him) who trying to free the [[BBEG]] in a campaign. The story goes that some mages summoned an eldritch abomination named Pandorym to blackmail the gods. The [[wizard]]s imprisoned Pandorym instead of finishing the ritual to let it loose so that it wouldn't destroy the universe before they were ready, but the gods just smote the stupid wizards the instant they were done imprisoning Pandorym so he's stuck. Well, Obligatum is here to set things right, and make sure that poor, imprisoned omnicidal maniac gets the freedom it was promised to carry out its goal, which through some warped sense of honor it is willing to do. An omnicidal maniac who is powerful enough to destroy the entire universe regardless of whatever feeble resistance the universe's inhabitants can muster if Pandorym's mind and body were ever to be reunited. How exactly this does not bring him into conflict with another type of Inevitable, the Varakhut, whose job it is to prevent deicide is a whole other box of worms.
* The Harmonium from [[Planescape]]. ''The Harmonium believes that peace is a better end than war. [...] If it takes thumping heads to spread the truth, well, the Harmonium's ready to thump heads. Sure, there may not be peace right away, but every time the Harmonium gets rid of an enemy, the multiverse is that much closer to the universal harmony it was meant to have.'' This attitude is how the third layer of [[Arcadia]] shifted into [[Mechanus]], and the gods of Arcadia had to start over. Whoops.
* The [[Modron]] race, similarly to the Inevitables above, due to being extraplanar mechanical lifeforms who embody the Lawful Neutral environment. Except they have even less personality. Imagine a cheap 80s computer with arms, legs and the ability to beat you over the head; that's basically a Modron. They can't even understand the idea that their assumptions may be incorrect.
* Helm, the Lawful Neutral God of Guardians and Watchmen from the [[Forgotten Realms]] has earned this kind of reputation in-universe. Nobody will ''ever'' let him live it down that, during the [[Time of Troubles]], he killed Mystara, the Goddess of Magic, for trying to get back into the upper planes after Ao kicked them all out, despite the fact he knew that this would severely damage the fabric of reality in the process. As a result, [[wild magic]] zones and dead magic zones are commonly called "Helmlands". He also catches a lot of flak for the role his worshippers played in the massacres in [[Maztica]], but that's not so much Lawful Stupid as religious bigotry + the priest's only daughter being sacrificed by one of the natives and driving him into vengeful insanity..
* The stereotypical [[Space Marine]]. Stealth is cowardice, frontal assaults are the only way to go. On the occasion they do utilize tactics like stealth, feints, and flanking, it's all to help the frontal assault succeed rather than the other way around. Retreating is never an option, even if it's to gain more cover. Some will never field [[psyker]]s, ignore [[xenos]], and some won't even cooperate with other [[Space Marine Chapter]]s. A special case being [[Warhammer 40,000 Space Marine|Leandros]].
* The Starks from Game of Thrones. When Ned Stark finds out that Joffrey and his siblings are incest born bastards, he does the most asinine thing possible and tells Cersei, instead of going to Robert directly. He also tells his daughters of his plan, which causes Sansa to blab to everybody. His son Robb Stark has even more fuck ups, namely executing one of his top generals when he should have kept him around, failing to communicate with Edmure (though Edmure is incompetent), and blatantly breaking his promise to Walder Frey because he felt bad he screwed some other chick and decided to marry her in order to keep their honor intact. Admittedly, he is still a kid in the novel. This kind of shit ends up with the Starks practically destroyed.
* Rorschach from the Watchmen comicbook is this considering his utter devotion to principles. It's best illustrated in his quote "No. Not even in the face of Armageddon. '''Never compromise'''." It's later shown that he does not mean that metaphorically. He's an interesting example because he is perhaps the least 'good' of the main characters (with the exception of Comedian maybe) who has no problem with killing even when it's probably not necessary, and with absolutely no empathy. But at the same time he has his code and he sticks to it, even when it is directly stupid of him to do so. Not compromising is an absolute hallmark of lawful stupid.
* The Jedi from the Star Wars Prequels are this, as [[Ultramarines|they followed the Jedi Code - which was meant as a mere guideline - as a set of unbreakable rules]] and set out to completely repress all emotion in somewhat unfounded fear of those emotions leading to the dark side, when they should have acknowledged that which makes us human and simply taught how to use them positively. Such arbitrarily following of the code leads the Council to turn a blind eye to the various problems Anakin Skywalker was having, thereby unintentionally sealing their own downfall.
** Works set before the Prequels shows that this is hardly a new problem for the Jedi Order. Knights Of The Old Republic features a Jedi named Atris who's incredibly obsessed with following the code to the letter and wiping out the Sith. This leads to her being filled with bitterness and remorse after her best friend the Exile is kicked out of the Order, but also leaves her too arrogant to talk to anyone about it. Instead she starts to hide herself away in a temple filled with Sith holocrons to be alone and meditate, and since Sith holocrons literally exude Dark Side-tainted Force energy, she gets unknowingly corrupted into a Sith. Yes she was so Lawful Stupid that it ''turned her evil''.
[[File: Lawful_stupid.jpg|400 px|thumb|left|It's pretty much like this.]]
* The Dwarfs from Warhammer Fantasy. They are obsessed with the concept of revenge which causes them to wage many unnecessary wars, which is especially stupid since they are a dying race. This behavior is even enforced by their gods. When two dwarven lords were fighting each other in a fortress that was currently under assault by orks they eventually realized that neither of them remembered what they were fighting over and decided to put aside their differences to actually defend against the orks beating down on their gates. Both sides were promptly crushed by the gods themselves.
* Javert from Les Miserables. Properbly one of the oldest contestants on this list, Javert is the police-inspector who relentlessly pursues Jean Valjean throughout 17 years, after Jean chooses to ditch life as a marked man and begin anew. Sounds extreme? Well, Javert was in charge of Jean when he was working his ass off in prison too. Jean got there by stealing a lump of bread to feed some children. He got 20 years, 5 for the bread and the rest for resisting arrest. So when Jean chooses to not live the rest of his life with a paper on his person saying that he was a former convict, Javert's internal Justice Alarm went all haywire. Javert himself was brought up in prison, where there are only two allignments: the Law or the Convicted. Javert chose Law, and since then no one should escape their by-God-decided punishment. In fact, when Jean spares Javert's life when he could have ended the merry game of catch-the-convict-who-got-his-life-back by killing him, Javert meets a moral wall - His world is so extremely black and white, that the idea of a criminal doing good deeds is completely impossible to him. He knew that taking Jean now would be to punish a true child of God, and so did the only thing that made sense - to execute himself for insubordination. Would have made a damn good [[Commissar]], that one.
* Most modern robots. If a robot makes a mistake, it won't correct it despite it being wrong it will just do what it's told, over and over and over again regardless of the results. However, this a terrible example. Robots are not stupid because they are crippled by overzealous rule-following. They are stupid because modern CPUs don't compare well to the human brain.
* Saradomin from [[Runescape]], while well meaning for his followers. He started a god war in Naragarun world plane that led to it being attacked by way more destructive gods and as a result have a lot of people looking poorly on him for that kind of shit.
* The Sangheli, or Elites, from the Halo franchise. With a ridiculously rigid Bushido-style code of honor that makes the Ultramarines seem like pragmatic chaps, the Elites have often lost battles to humans they could have otherwise won, if they weren't so blindingly "honorable" (Ignoring for the minute that they had no problem turning a planet into slag.) Full frontal assaults, suicide charges, blindingly following three shady testicle-looking douchebags,and a stupid insistence on fighting the enemy fairly are all par for the course. But the most glaring example of their stupidity has to come from the fact that they consider it a [[What|dishonor to either get their own blood shed on the battlefield or become involved in a medical practice]]. Seriously, I WISH I was joking about that last part. The only reason they even win against the Jiralhanae (Brutes) is because the Brutes are more Stupid Evil than the Sangheli are Lawful Stupid. [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|Well, that, and the fact that they had allied with the Humans by that point.]]

== How to avoid it while playing lawful good ==
Required Reading: [[Discworld]] by Terry Pratchett, in particular anything having to do with the Witches of Lancre or the Ankh Morpork City Watch, especially Sam Vimes and Carrot Ironfoundersson. Carrot might not be very savvy when it comes to subtlety, but he is very much a good man, if a bit odd and literal at times. Some folks would argue that Vimes is Chaotic Good rather than Lawful Good, but fighting over alignments is for the [[alignment]] page -- the point is that he and Carrot are decidedly ''not'' Lawful Stupid.

Another way to play lawful good is to play your paladin like a modern soldier: able and willing to do anything needed to win, but still bound by the laws and customs of war, for example the Geneva and Hague Conventions. Those laws still restrict the actions of a soldier but he is still expected to act with common sense in order to achieve victory and not follow orders that violate those laws.

== How to avoid it while playing lawful neutral ==
This is arguably even harder than avoiding it whilst playing Lawful Good; at least Lawful Good types are ''supposed'' to balance their calling to law & order vs. their calling to good. Lawful Neutral types are categorized by their firm belief that law and order are the only things of importance, with morality being dismissed as insignificant next to maintaining of order. The primary key to doing so is to keep a proper perspective; traffic laws, for example, have their place in the scheme of things. When you are racing to prevent the nuclear annihilation of a city is ''not'' that place. Don't get so bogged down with legal minutia that you allow far greater acts of destruction and anarchy to occur in whilst you attend to the little things.

[[Judge Dredd]] can be a good example of this. For example, in the opening sequence of the 2012 ''Dredd'' movie, he pursues a car full of criminals but does not shoot at them until they collide with and kill a pedestrian, and even then only shoots to disable the van's tires. He doesn't shoot to kill until one of them threatens to kill a hostage and refuses to accept an offer to surrender. Also, when he sees a vagrant sitting outside the crime scene Dredd tells him not to be there when he gets back instead of arresting him because he has better things to do at the moment. Of course, when he's just doing the rounds on his birthday, he'll issue noise citations to children who sing to him because he is The Law (and then donate the presents he receives to an orphanage because he's not [[That Guy]]).

[[Category:Gamer Slang]]

Stupid Evil

2016-08-24T01:03:02Z

2600:8803:1C02:A800:D8DB:730A:7815:302F: added a GoT/ASoIaF quote that fits really well into this article.

{{Stub}}
:''"No Muttley, we can't win fairly. We are villains, ergo we have to cheat!"''
:--Dick Dastardly, while the finish line is right behind him.

:''"If you acquire a reputation as a mad dog, you'll be treated as a mad dog; taken out back and slaughtered for pig feed.'''
:--Roose Bolton to his son, Ramsay, on why Stupid Evil is such a terrible idea

Yes, [[Lawful Stupid]] has its Evil counterpart. A general trait of '''Stupid Evil''' is doing evil things for the sake of being evil, rather than because they are (morality aside) easy or viable paths towards wealth, power, revenge, or whatever the villain's goal is. This is especially true when a non-evil, or less evil way of doing things would work better.

A villain who is truly insane can get away with this sort of thing since what compels them to act in an evil manner is the fact that they have some screws loose, but "serious" nemeses and long-term, high-threat villains are usually expected to have a goal and some capacity for rational planning; a villain who takes time out of a busy day to kick a puppy or eat a kitten just to establish evil credibility will probably be treated with derision by players.

Compare to [[Chaotic Stupid]]. They're not quite the same, but there's often a lot of overlap due the tendency of bad players and writers to mistake "chaotic" with "act like as big of an obnoxious asshole as physically possible".

== Examples of Stupid Evil ==
[[File:Evil.jpg|thumb|right|Sicks, a pretty stupid evil dude, also a [[neckbeard]]. His face should remind you of someone [[Matt Ward|who should not be named]].]]
===[[A Song of Ice and Fire]]===
* Joffrey Baratheon. He sends an assassin armed with a Valyrian Blade (one of only a few hundred such weapons in all of Westeros, and an unusual weapon for a common hitman when a common dirk would have sufficed) to kill Bran Stark. And when that fails, it causes the Starks to suspect the Lannisters. He also kills Eddard Stark, therefore sparking an unnecessary and very costly civil war that went against what his family had planned. Despite that, they still came out on top since they are still standing while the Starks are scattered, due mainly to Tywin and Tyrion being [[Creed|tactical genii]] and strategic masterminds.
** He also chooses to ignore his duties and the welfare of his people in favor of satiating his sadistic behavior, even abusing his people when they're seeking his help. He regularly abuses Sansa in particular, and threatens to have her killed despite the fact it will reduce her value as a political hostage and (in their eyes) could cause the Starks to kill their political hostage, Jamie Lannister.
** Even his family isn't safe from his team-killing fuckery: he has one of his Kingsguard try to murder his uncle Tyrion in the middle of the Battle of Blackwater instead of just simply poisoning him (as Tyrion pointed out). He even calls Tywin a coward. ''Out loud. '''To his face.''''' Luckily for Joffrey they were related, or he would have been struck down. And as what turns out to be a final hurrah at his wedding, he insults his in-laws and his bride at their wedding reception.
** His only excuses (if even that) are the fact that he's like 12 or 13 in the books, providing a realistic excuse for his moronic, petty and short-sighted behavior. Also, his mother is Cersei. More on that in a moment.
* Cersei Lannister, while not as dumb as her son Joffrey (hardly something to be proud of) is egotistic and paranoid as fuck; if she, for any reason, thinks you might threaten her or her children, even for something as minor as telling her her latest idea is a bad one, you're in trouble. At best, she will view you as an enemy and will be a passive-aggressive bitch to you, and at worst she'll have you brutally tortured to death, even if you're one of House Lannister's allies to whom good relations are vital.
** She invites Gregor Clegane (see below) to King's Landing at the same time Oberyn Martell is visiting, despite the fact that Gregor is the reason there's bad blood between house Lannister and House Martell, and the Martells know it.
** She also responds to a satirical puppet show about House Lannister being evil tyrants by having anyone who saw it either sharply fined (up to half of all their money if they're rich) or mutilated (an eye cut out if they're too poor to pay) and ordering the puppeteers executed. Then, instead of the headsman, she does something worse and hands the puppeteers over to her resident mad scientist for deadly experiments at his request.
** As seen above, Cersei encourages the worst aspects of her kids; in the case of Joffrey, this is like attempting to put out a forest fire with napalm. Her atrocious parenting, combined with conceiving Joffrey with her brother Jamie AND Robert's own negligence, is the reason Joffrey's such a repulsive asshole. She ignores the numerous acts of cruelty and stupidity of her eldest son and brushes off any criticism of him as being a personal attack, AND also nearly turns her other actually half-decent person of a son into a gullible yes-man.
** She kills the high septon because he was a cat's paw Jamie put into power to keep the faith in House Lannister's pocket, being a decent but easily manipulated man. This leads to a more competent and devout high septon getting into power with ambitions of his own, letting him raise his own army and creating another particularly erratic player to threaten House Lannister's precarious position, which leads to her arrest when he proves to be smart (though that's a good thing for everyone not allied with the Lannisters).
** As revenge for the High Sparrow imprisoning her and Margaery taking her place as Queen, she decides to blow them all the fuck up using magical napalm while nearly all her enemies were at church. This results in Tommen, who was now friends with the High Sparrow and loved Margaery dearly, to commit suicide via jumping out a window. This also results in a pissed off Olenna Tyrell withdrawing from the sovereignty of King's Landing and declares for the resurgent House Targaryen alongside Dorne, which means that Cersei and House Lannister literally have no major allies left in Westeros sans the Freys, who aren't at all reliable.
* Gregor Clegane
** Gregor is a serial killer, having gone through three wives who died under suspicious circumstances. At his keep there's a high turnover rate among the servants, and even animals avoid his chambers. Before this, he's heavily implied to have murdered his sister and father, despite the father doting on him even when his evil started to become apparent.
** Before the story starts it's an open secret that he raped and murdered Rheagar's wife Elia Martell, even though he hadn't been ordered to do so. This bites him and the Lannisters in the ass BIG TIME later on, though he deserves it.
** After losing a jousting, match Gregor decapitates his own horse, then tries to kill his opponent, Loras Tyrell, and his own brother when the latter intervenes. Had Gregor succeeded, it's likely the Lannisters could kiss any hope of an alliance with the Tyrells goodbye.
** The men who Gregor recruits as his hand-picked warriors aren't chosen for their intelligence, just their fighting skills and sadism (not even loyalty, as they serve Gregor out of fear).
** After taking Harrenhal, Gregor and his men torture the prisoners to death, including ones who are nobility and could be used as leverage in the war.
** Arugably when, before killing Oberyn, Gregor shouts a confession to his crime of murdering and raping Elia in front of all of the nobles in King's Landing. This would've put House Martell and House Lannister at open war if the Martells hadn't been already secretly plotting to destroy them, though this ''does'' push their schedule forward.
* Ramsay Bolton
** Even though his father, Roose, is a cunning general who manipulated and back-stabbed his way into rulership of the North, Ramsey lacks any of the strategic foresight and critical thinking that Roose possesses. He is totally fearless and reckless with his actions, which Roose points out will most likely be his downfall if they are not curbed. <strike>However, he is shown as peak physically fit and has made Sansa as his bitch and crushed the Baratheons in battle as insult to injury.</strike> '''We're talking about the books, not the long format porno version. In the books he is described as portly, ugly and an iffy fighter'''.
** His savage exploits are known across Westeros, and he continuously pisses off the other Northern lords by hunting down their subjects like deer. This is part of the reason why half of the Northern Houses rebel against Bolton overlordship. He chooses to flay Ironborn captives alive despite promising them clemency if they surrendered, along with turning Theon Greyjoy into his personal eunuch slave. This has ensured that the Ironborn will now fight to the death rather than sue for peace, and contemplate a full invasion of the North instead of merely raiding its settlements.
** After marrying the fake-Arya Stark (who everyone else thinks is the real one) he tortures her, threatens her and [[FATAL|tries to make her do certain things to his hunting dogs]]. This sets off the Northerners' [[Powder Keg of Justice]], causing an uprising against the Boltons that will likely end with Ramsay's and Roose's heads on spikes.
** The TV version actually murders his father in the middle of the war, feeds his step-mother and half-brother to his dogs, and ultimately gets his own army wiped out through sheer team-killing fuckery before being beaten to near-death by Jon Snow before Sansa feeds him to his own dogs -- who were only hungry enough to turn on him because he'd starved them for a week beforehand in anticipation of feeding them the Starks.
** Despite all of the stupid evil committed by them, [[Grimdark|they are still winning]], even if only because the good guys are either [[Lawful Stupid]] or [[Stupid Good]]. Joffrey and Gregor got offed painfully, as did the Boltons in the soft-core porno version, while Cersei got publicly shamed, but compared to what happened to the good guys in the story, it's a slap on the wrist.
* Slaver's Bay
** Of the four cities of Slaver's Bay, two of them (Meereen and Yunkai) believe that a bunch of slaves with spears and shields led by fops on horseback or in chariots wearing linen vests and helmets made to accommodate their stupid hairdos constitute a proper army. After Yunkai gets its butt kicked by Dany, they decide that it would be a good idea to raise new slave armies that are [[What|chained together and fight on stilts]].
** One of them (Astapor) trains Unsullied elite spear slaves who obey any order given to them without question, which they sell and use for defense. The Masters of Astapor [[Derp|agree to sell all the Unsullied they've got to Dany]], who proceeds to have them sack their city and kill them.
** For no particular tactical reason, the leadership of Meereen decided to taunt an oncoming army by having child slaves lashed up to die along the road - a decision which backfires on them rather spectacularly.

===Others===
* Any given Captain Planet villain. They deliberately destroy their own world, not for political or financial gain, but simply because they're assholes.
* Strawman villains in bad political fiction in general, such as ones in the above example.
* Some followers of Chaos such as [[Firaeveus Carron]] can prove to be this most of the time.
* Sicks (yep, that's his name) from [[manga|Demonic Detective Neuro]].
** Causing unnecessary murder or tragedy on other family for his own satisfaction(he is a sadist btw).
** Randomly pissing off Neuro, a real demon and starting the most gory and violent arc that Jump had ever published.
** Claiming his own ideal of evil is the "true evil" but rather just a cheap, rotten flavor of a puzzle in Neuro's tongue.
*** Also, his family has done the same thing as he did for many generations and claiming that this "evil" has evolve them into more human than anyone else.
* Grimdark as a whole often offs into this, in that things are crappy for the sake of being crappy.
* [[Lolth]] actually enforces Stupid Evil in her worshipers. Because of her the Drow spend 3 quarters of their energy fighting each other instead of defending themselves, which is a really bad idea since they live in an underground city under constant threat of being [[Rape|raped]] by [[Illithid]]s and [[Beholder|Beholders.]] In fact, when things get really bad she literally has to tell them to stop for a short period of time.
* The [[Skaven]] from [[Warhammer Fantasy]], whose rival clans always plan on backstabbing each other even if they're all fighting a mutual (and far worse) enemy. A perfect plan for them involves getting their own enemies and allies to kill each other, until they are the only one left to face the next enemy (keep in mind that "they" doesn't just mean rival clans either, in an apocalyptic scenario even their personal secretary is only barely less of an enemy than the hordes of the undead). As above, it takes the [[Horned Rat]], their god, as well as the invention of instant communication via the [[Farsqueaker]] to get their fuzzy little asses united.
* The Joker. Once merely a criminal mastermind with a chaotic, unpredictable bent, he's devolved as time goes on into a murder-happy rabid dog who kills for the jollies and because [[Gay|he gets off on being punched in the face by Batman]].
* [[Edgy|Edgelord]] characters by preteens/actual teens on DeviantArt.
* Starscream from [[Transformers]]. He's too ambitious and egotistical to realize how good his position as Megatron's second-in-command is, and so spends much of his time trying to usurp his leader with predictable failure. He also tends to do things on the spur of the moment to satisfy his own ego, as demonstrated in ''Prime'' where he angrily takes credit for killing Arcee's best friend Cliffjumper ''while in handcuffs in front of Arcee'', simply because he doesn't want Airachnid stealing the credit for things he did.
* The Sith in the Star Wars universe suffer from this greatly, and it's a major reason they keep losing to the Jedi and failed to keep any of their empires intact long-term. In fact, one could argue that they're a perfect case study on why Stupid Evil is a bad idea:
** Firstly, whereas the Jedi code encourages understanding yet controlling your emotions (that way you take them into account, but they don't prevent you from doing what is necessary), the Sith code encourages embracing your emotions and indeed, many of the most powerful Sith like Darth Vader are incredibly emotionally damaged. Thus Sith tend to do things in the heat of the moment and often lack the patience needed to be truly effective. Darth Malak can't find Revan and the Ebon Hawk crew on a planet he has control of? Oh well better just ''level his own planet'' with Star Destroyers, costing himself thousands of workers and soldiers in his psychotic and desperate rush to off his old master.
** Secondly, the Sith code is built on a hyper-Darwinist, "survival-of-the-fittest" structure. While this sounds decent enough on paper, in practice it meant that the Sith ''constantly'' backstabbed each other in idiotic power plays, often leading to Sith killing each other more often than they killed Jedi. Crossing with the "overly emotional" thing above, their lack of patience often led to them betraying each other way before it was beneficial to do so. Darth Bane was the first major Sith Lord to realize how stupid and unsustainable this lifestyle was and did something about it. His "rule of two" may have led to the Sith population being lower than ever before or after, but at least it kept the Sith order alive and prevented most of them from slaughtering each other in pathetic attempts to gobble up more power.
** Thirdly and finally, Sith who engage in too much evil and envelope themselves too deeply in the Dark Side often suffer from an inability to properly sense the Light Side. This alienation of the Light is what lead to the otherwise brilliant Palpatine's death. He alienated altruism and good so utterly that he was not only unable to sense Luke Skywalker's presence during a critical moment, but he was also unable to sense that his apprentice Darth Vader still had some morality in him. Thus he attempts to tortuously kill Luke and is killed himself when he fails to expect Vader to attack him out of paternal feelings.
* Dick Dastardly from the 'Wacky Races' TV show. He has the best car in the whole contest that's so far above everyone else's that he can win the competition with a damaged vehicle but pisses that away because as a villain he refuses to win through good or even neutral (such as racing fairly) means. The formula of the show is that Dick will pull ahead of everyone else, stop to cheat, have his plans backfire against him and he then does it again multiple times per race without learning anything. The crowning moment of this is in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nKKbXuilg4 the pilot for the (failed) 21st century reboot] where he arrives at the finish line about an hour ahead of time but refuses to cross it, declaring that he has to cheat because he's a villain (based on an episode in the original where he nearly won the race legitimately but stopped just before the finish line because he thought, as the villain, [[Derp|that it would be wrong to win without cheating]]).
* There's a tendency for moralizing science and fantasy fiction to depict humans as this in a poor attempt to allegorize bigotry. Specifically, humans are apparently overly-panicky and violent psychopaths itching for an excuse to murder the shit out of other species. See for instance, ''Avatar'' where the human army is portrayed as a bunch of jingoist lunatics wanting to slaughter the peaceful Na'vi for the resources they need rather than trying to reap far more long-term benefits by making peaceful contact.
* Frieza from Dragon Ball Z.
** He regularly kills his own henchmen, sometimes just to prove a point. In addition, he and his men kill pretty much all the Namekians on planet Namek, which bites him in the ass when he discovers that the wish-granting dragon can only be summoned by someone who speaks Namekian. After being maimed and defeated by Goku, he is offered some healing energy so he can get away from the planet which is about to explode. Instead, Frieza tries to use this energy in one last attack against Goku, who promptly blasts him full-force.
** Upon being revived as a cyborg, the first thing he does is resolve to attack Earth just to spite Goku. Of course, this gets him killed, but it doesn't stop him from trying again in Resurrection F! ...but to his credit, while he still remains [[Kharn|a serial team-killer]], he nearly succeeds due to ''actually learning from previous encounters'' and bothering to train for once in his life instead of relying on his massive-but-unrefined power. Even when the edge granted by his newly attained Golden form eventually gives out, he gets bailed out by the one henchman he DIDN'T waste for no reason (this is especially notable since Goku had been warned against letting down his guard), and actually stands to win for a change...
*** ...until SSB Vegeta steps in and utterly wrecks his shit to the point that he pulls the same 'sore loser' routine he did back on Namek (the phrase "five minutes" should come to mind). Except this time he actually pulls it off and wastes the Earth and everyone on it in one clean shot! It takes Whis shielding Goku and a few others from the blast and rewinding time a few minutes (distinct from time travel in that no AUs are created) for Goku to get it right and take him out for good.
* Harvest from The New 52.

[[Category:Gamer Slang]]

Armor

2016-08-23T23:40:52Z

2600:8803:1C02:A800:D8DB:730A:7815:302F: /* Types of Body Armor */

'''''Armor''''' (also spelled Armour) is a protective layer of material used to protect something from damage. Some types of armor includes armor for buildings, armor for vehicles and armor for personnel (generally referred to as body armor). This will focus mostly on body armor.

== Types of Body Armor ==
Numerous forms of body armor have been developed over the millennia by civilizations with various levels of technology and resources on hand.

*Leather armor - not just any leather would do; soft leather offers no protection against blades. You need hard, boiled leather to be effective. It's a matter of heated debates whether it actually even existed historically, as it's highly impractical and too expensive compared to padded cloth while offering largely the same or even lower level of protection. The general consensus is that it surely didn't have any noticeable presence in Europe, and while in the East (both middle and far) it did exist, it wasn't that much popular and widespread either.
*Padded cloth armor - Cloth bundled in sufficient thickness was one of the first forms of armor, since bronze armors tended to be too expensive or too heavy to be widely used, and bronze weapons weren't all that great at cutting to begin with. Cloth continued to be used mostly as padding underneath metal armor, to help absorb blows and all through the middle ages continued to be the go to protection for men-at-arms in lieu of expensive metal plate or mail. Despite what you might think it was quite effective, even against arrows and blades that weren't razor-sharp (and no one sane ever sharpened anything bigger than dagger to razor sharpness), and when things came to crushing blows it was actually the only armor that offered any protection at all.
*Paper armor - this one sounds crazy, but apparently it was actually a thing in ancient China. The Mythbusters tested it out and it might have been actually effective... at least, so long as it doesn't rain.
*Scale armor - an early form of mail, using overlapping metal plates rather than rings. The scales would overlap in a similar fashion to roofing tiles.
*Bamboo armor - basically wooden armor, but with the advantage in that you can shape bamboo more easily.
*Mirror armor - an early form of plate, this was a small round bronze plate attached to the torso. Besides physical protection, it was also believed to ward off the supernatural.
*[[Mail]] - the most common and effective type of armor from the ancient world to the middle ages. Flexible and easy (though time-consuming) to make, it was widely used by many cultures. It was also significantly easier to repair, as a break could easily be mended by replacing a few rings, whereas a hole in plate armor might require a complete replacement. While fairly effective against foot soldiers, the crossbow and the lance charge required knights to wear extra armor over mail for additional protection.
*Plated Mail - this is not what some sourcebooks refer to as platemail, which is basically just plate armor worn over a mail hauberk. Plated mail integrates metal plates into the rest of the mail pattern, ranging from large rectangular plates on areas like the chest, to small plates arranged like fish scales on areas that require more dexterity, such as near the shoulders and back. This was popular with medieval Persians and Indians.
*Laminar armor - armor made from bands of metal. The most famous example is the ancient Roman [[wikipedia:Lorica_segmentata|Lorica Segmentata]].
*Lamellar armor - armor made from overlapping pieces of leather or metal, each piece being laced side-by-side.
*[[Samurai]] armor - depending on the period, it could be lamellar, laminar, or even plate. The helmet (kabuto) had a distinct shape that often featured ornaments and even a removable facemask (Darth Vader's helmet is said to be a hybrid of a kabuto and a German stahlhelm).
*Brigandine - Sort of like Lamellar, except the pieces of metal are riveted into a leather jacket rather than laced together.
*[[Plate armor]] - armor made from single, solid pieces of metal. Bronze plate armor had been used in ancient times, but was limited to helmets and sometimes breastplates due to the weight of the armor. Full suits of plate armor were not possible until improvements in smithing allowed for large bars of steel to be hammered out into single pieces.
*Flak Jackets - The first modern armor to be developed, Flak Jackets were developed in WWII out of high-strength nylon to protect aircrews from fragments fired from flak cannons. Before the invention of Kevlar and ballistic vests, this was the only kind of armor available to modern soldiers.
*Ceramic armor - typically, ceramic plates are used as an energy-absorbing component in some ballistic vests. These are typically single-use only.
*Ballistic vests - cloth vests able to stop bullets of varying sizes using high-strength cloth that wraps itself around the bullet, thereby bringing them to a halt. May contain metal or ceramic components to increase effectiveness.
*Blast suits - full-body armors capable of absorbing the heat and shrapnel of a bomb blast. The only part that isn't protected are the hands, so if a bomb goes off you may be maimed - but at least you're not dead! May also include a closed air supply in the case of biological or chemical bombs. Commonly worn by EOD technicians.

==Anatomy of armor==
[[File:HenryVIIIArmor.jpg|right|thumb|300px|You thought we were joking about the dick armor?]]
Basic terminology of the different parts of armor. Unless you were very wealthy, such as a knight, not everyone had every part of their body covered in armor.

*[[Helmet]] - protects the head, one of the most common pieces of armor.
*Gambeson - padded cloth armor suit worn underneath metal armor to absorb blunt force and protect the wearer from the armor itself (metal and boiled leather aren't nice to unprotected humans skin, especially under extreme temperatures). Later variants often reinforced with sown-in mail in places actual metal armor above it have gaps and joints.
*Cuirass - protects the torso. If its made from a single piece of metal, it is a breastplate. Most breastplate are associated with full-body steel plate armor, but ancient Greeks had a bronze version called the "heroic Cuirass", or the Roman "Lorica Musculata", often molded with fake muscles and various decorations.
:*Plackart - lower torso reinforcement that would overlap with a breastplate for extra protection, and connected to the faulds.
:*Faulds - a metal skirt attached to the breastplate, allowing some leg protection while offering mobility.
*Gorget - protects the neck. With certain helmets, such as the Sallet, the gorget protected the lower head where the helmet did not.
*[[Pauldrons]] - protect the shoulders. The real life versions are nowhere near as big as those on space marines.
*Gauntlets - protect the arms.
*Greaves - protect the legs.
*Sabatons - protect the feet (you don't want some smartass spearman stabbing at your unarmored feet now, would you?)
*Codpiece - Yes, believe it or not, you could get dick armor too. Ordinarily this was just to armor the groin area like an athletic cup, but some people like King Henry VIII made massive codpieces to show off how well-endowed they were.
*Tabard - Technically not armor, but was the decorative sleeveless coat that would drape over the armor of knights. Besides being used as an identifier through the knight's heraldry, it also shielded armor from the desert sun so that the knight wouldn't boil in their own armor.

== Armor in tabletop games ==

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Musclecuirass.JPG| Greek bronze Muscle Cuirass
Image:Linothorax.jpg| Greek Linothorax, a bronze-reinforced linen armor
Image:Roman Soldier mail.jpg|Roman Mail
Image:LoricaSegmentata.jpg|Roman Lorica Segmentata, a type of Laminar
Image:MirrorArmor.JPG|Mirror armor over a mail shirt
Image:ScaleArmor.JPG|Indian Scale armor
Image:Plated mail.jpg|Indian Plated Mail
Image:Lamellar.JPG|Japanese Lamellar
Image:Samurai armor.jpg|Japanese Laminar
Image:Gambeson.jpg| European Gambeson, a padded cloth armor used by both commoners and knights
Image:Brigandine.jpg|European Brigandine
Image:Plate armor.jpg|European Plate
Image:FlakJacket.png| Flak Jacket
Image:BallisticVest.JPG|Ballistic Vest
Image:Bombsuit.jpg|Bombsuit
</gallery>

== See also ==
*[[Power Armor]]
*[[Flak Armor]]
*[[Armor Save]]

[[category: History]]

Setting:Halo

2016-08-08T01:13:09Z

2600:8803:1C02:A800:D8DB:730A:7815:302F: If we are going to cut out the character section, then we might as well cut out the factions section as well, since it's already described enough in the "Setting" heading, and like Derpysaurus said, the Halo wiki has more info for anyone interested.

{{Template:/vg/}}
[[File:The_Rookie.jpg|200px|right|thumb|BRODST]]
'''''Halo''''' is a vidyagame series exclusively released for the ECKSBAWKS, ECKSBAWKS 360, ECKSBAWKS JUAN, and PC. The series was developed by Bungie, though Microsoft has bought the rights to the game. The ''Halo'' universe is pretty massive, with all sorts of media ranging from video games and graphic novels to action figures and a series of short movies released to DVD. It became famous for being the game that saved ECKSBAWKS from doing an Atari Jaguar by identifying an untapped new market of loud, stupid fratboys, and was the only reason anyone would even want to buy an ECKSBAWKS console.

Occasionally it breaks away from the generic sci-fi pattern and explores a more fatalistic and human side to the story without having to suck Master Chief's dick or obsess over ancient alien technology every three seconds, and is generally regarded as being about ten times better and more mature for it. Unfortunately, within the games, this lasted a grand total of one game before 343 Industries acquired the license. Within the books, there are many wonderful examples otherwise, and the plot of Halo 4 can only be completely understood by reading the books from the series that begins with ''Glasslands''. ''Halo Silentium'' by Greg Bear is also a necessary read to really understand how many times the Forerunners screw up, be it their own society or another species, or the entire galaxy, and the true nature and intent of the Flood. The character development of the Librarian and the Didact also makes this quite a fun read. If you're into books, that is. It should also be noted that Halo is to be commended for abstracting religious fundamentalism, caste systems, hubris and xenophobia and showing why they are so harmful and also doing away with the myth of -4 Strength through female Marines (not these Marines [http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Female_Space_Marines]), Spartans, and so on.

/tg/ isn't big on ''Halo'' and topics pertaining to ''Halo'' will normally be saged, trolled, told to go to /v/, or some combination therein. On /v/ however, ''Halo'' is... still widely hated. Then again, /v/ hates video games in general. The hatred of /tg/ comes less from the actual game/gameplay, and more from it being off-topic and a few fanboys being retarded asshats. <s>Though this also may be due to the fact Halo fans have Cortana to fap to while fa/tg/uys are stuck with fapping to the Emprah</s> <strike>{{BLAM|HERESY!}}</strike>WORT WORT WORT! *GLASSED*

Like Warhammer 40k the state of Halo's fluff has been in limbo, while Halo may have fucking spectacular authors on the line of Greg Bear and Eric Nylund it also has its fair share of colossal fuck ups in the line of [[Fail|Brian Reed]] and [[Rage|Karen Traviss.]] Don't even get us started with the advent of 343i and [[Skub|their mixed bag success]] on the Recalimer saga as well as Halo's more...questionable marketing campaigns nowadays. Ironically, while the more recent games has been bait for [[Rage|flamewars that will send any respectable forum thread into lock down,]] Halo's transition to tabletop gaming after some [[Fail|failed]] attempts like Halo Actionclix (Which is a shame cause while the game rules sucked, the models was in such high quality that it even outshines some high priced models from [[Forgeworld]]) has been more positively received, what with the fact that hardcore Haloites now need to use their brains now and that the new mini models are quite nicely detailed.

If you want to know more, here's a link to the Halo wiki: [http://www.halopedia.org/ Go nuts.]

==Setting==
[[File:Reclaimer Symbol.png|400px|right|thumb|The Forerunner symbol for Reclaimer. This symbol is a special Easter egg to an even older [[Marathon|Bungie game.]] Yes it looks like the [[Tau]] symbol but [[Original character, do not steal|predates it by almost a decade.]] Games Workshop proving once again that they are a bunch of sleazy and ballsy motherfuckers.]]
The ''Halo'' universe takes place in the 26th century. Mankind, led by the United Nations Space Command (UNSC), has developed its own crude faster-than-light drive (the Shaw-Fujikawa drive) and finally colonized other worlds. At its height, human civilization occupies nearly 800 planets, forming a ring of outer colonies and rings of inner colonies with Earth as its capital. This is not what they're talking about when they say Halo, mind you.

Sometime in the year 2525, an agricultural world in the outer colonies, creatively named ''Harvest'', is attacked by an unknown force. In the succeeding months, all attempts to make contact, or even defend against the alien forces are met with swift destruction. It is not long before more colonies are wiped out.

The unknown menace finally identifies itself as the [[Setting:Halo/Covenant|Covenant]], a coalition of several alien races bent on destroying humanity. At first they seem to be doing this because that's just what aliens ''do'', but later on it is discovered that the story is somewhat deeper. Apparently (Thanks to the revelations of the ''Reclaimer Trilogy'' which is a horrifying mishmash of the worst of [[WH40K]] and the [[H.P. Lovecraft|Cthulhu Mythos]]) humans were once an [[Grimdark|ancient, super advanced, totalitarian, bigoted, expansionist, racist, supremacist, violent, militaristic, war-mongering, nightmare of an empire]] who makes the [[Great Crusade]] seem pleasant in comparison. All were fine and dandy when the Flood came out of fucking nowhere (Long story short, they came about when the humans kept forcing their pets to [[Drug|sniff some powder from an ancient, mysterious ship,]] [[FAIL|''what could go wrong?'']]) which forced the humans to invade into Forerunner territory as they were trying to save the galaxy from the Flood. The Forerunners not taking into the whole "I destroy your planets and exterminate your civilians out of benign and superficial reasons" promptly kicked the humans in the galactic nuts, stripped of their technology and de-evolved them back into caveman. Later, [[rape|the Forerunners ended up getting nommed by the Flood in the most ridiculous OCP way possible]] and found out how they fucked up so bad when one of them found out that the ancient humans once had the solution against the Flood ([[Just As Planned|Later shown to be just a elaborate hoax to fool the Forerunners by the Flood]]) that they had to [[Exterminatus|glass the known galaxy]] just to kill most of the Flood. Oh and they also named the humans their Reclaimers as their way of saying sorry for turning them into cavemen and telling them to finish their job, [[Troll|fucking Forerunners.]]

This made the Covenant kinda jealous, because it was them who first discovered the Forerunner technology, adapted it to their own, and finally started worshiping the Forerunners. Apparently, knowing that your gods had a favorite, finding out that it isn't you, and finding out that it's instead the species that invented ''truck balls'' upset them just a little. [[Exterminatus| So, back to glassing]]. It's not long before the UNSC military, and humanity itself, finds out that it is being pwned. <s>Clearly the only solution to this would be a ridiculously tiny unit of infantry with clever armor named in allcaps. This leads to the SPARTAN-II program,</s> (SPARTAN:s were created to fight against the Insurrection but happened to be extremely effective against the Covenant as well) humanity's last hope <s>(thirty three men to defend eight hundred planets, lolwat?)</s>, thirty-three super soldiers, divided into teams 3 or 4, and sent as ''force multipliers'' to assist the UNSC's beleaguered marines and mechanized divisions. Though not as a defensive planetary force (the UNSC having lost a large chunk of those 800 worlds early in the war), but as an offensive special ops unit, [[Reasonable Marines|infiltrating behind enemy lines, assassinating commanders, and disrupting the Covenant's supply chain; doing the suicide jobs that others could not, slowing down or in some cases halting Covenant military build-up before it can launch further devastating attacks on the humanity]]. At exceedingly great resource cost and high lost of life, the UNSC together with the Spartans gradually turn the tide of the war.

To end the war once and for all, humanity enacts a desperate plan: They would send a specially refitted ship (the ''Pillar of Autumn'') along with Spartan contingent deep behind enemy lines and attempt to capture one of the Prophets (the select group of religious leaders that form the highest caste of the Covenant). But as usual, [[FAIL|it all goes horribly wrong]] [[Derp|before it can even begin]]. The UNSC's fortress-world of '''Reach''', and unofficially the Spartans' homeworld, is discovered by the Covenant. Next to Earth, Reach is the most heavily defended world in Human space. It falls in a matter of days, as the Covenant brings nearly a third of its entire fleet to lay siege over the planet. As Reach's defenses wither away, the Covenant simply brings in more reinforcements. Few escape the doomed Battle of Reach, but one of the ships that manages make it out of the system in time is the ''Pillar of Autumn''. Aboard is a single Spartan II, suspended in cryostasis. Yet, that is where the story truly begins, for the Autumn blindly jumps right into a heavily guarded star system containing a Halo; a colossal ring-world, hundreds of kilometers in diameter, built millions of years ago by the Forerunners, and worshiped by the Covenant as an ancient artifact of unimaginable power. The Pillar of Autumn's fate and that of the Halo, becomes the setting of the original ''HALO: COMBAT EVOLVED'' game.

==On /tg/==
While as mentioned that Halo has been proven skubtastic over the years on /tg/, the recent surge in popularity among tabletop has garnered a niche within /tg/ community. That and the fact of a billion fandex for either the Covenant, UNSC or Forerunners as well as fanfiction that range from okay to literal bait for fan wars.

It no longer has the ire it once had due to most of the annoying asshats migrating to COD and Battlefield as well as the fact that some of the squeakers that used to inhabit the Halo community has since matured into adults by now. Halo nowadays has been seen as...okay.

==Codex: The Covenant==
[[File:1185489032.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Surprisingly, [[Games Workshop|Halo Actionclix]] figures make good Tabletop conversions for the [[Codex - The Covenant|Covenant]], here seen a Scarab that looks like it could fit comfortably in the [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|Apocalypse Game-type.]]]]
A bunch of people decided that the Covenant's tech and machines are pretty nice in a WH40K setting So "[[Codex - The Covenant]]" was made to implement them into the tabletop game.

Furthermore on the context on Halo. Whoever thought this was a [[Rape|good idea]] to send out what counts as IoM guardsmen against Killer Death Worms, Giant Spider Mechs, Killer Ewoks, Space Lizardmen with Lightsabers, Killer Wookies with Metal Shanks that go OMNOMNOM, Space Pirate Turkeys that also go OMNOMNOM and Giant Dinosaurs that goes HULK SMASH!; needs a shot to the fucking face. Then again, the good guys are the UNSC, not exactly famous for making good decisions. (As if the Imperium is much better when it comes to taking disregard for Human life to new and interesting extremes *cough "Chenkov" cough*. Besides, its not like the UNSC had much of a fucking choice when it came to the Covenant/Flood/Forerunner biology and tech being used against them)

==Halo Actionclix==
A while back during its heyday, Actionclix made a deal with Microsoft and Bungie at the time to create an Actionclix game based on the Haloverse. While the models were extremely well detailed and well crafted. Its high pricing for the models and its overall clusterfuck of its rules has made Halo Actionclix a [[Skub|somewhat lackluster experience.]]

This led to a initial surge in popularity with the idea of future tabletop games based around the universe (Read below on Halo Fleet Battles and Ground Command), however like Halo Risk. The initial popularity died down quickly once the rules was read since you know, during that era (Halo 3), the main target audience was kids and teenagers who have zero to little clue on how to play an Actionclix game.

This has in turn, force Halo Actionclix to have a relatively short lifespan and the models have thus turned into a collectors item for display and collecting dust.

==Halo Fleet Battles and Ground Command? Fuck Yeah!==
[[File:HFBB01-2.jpg|300px|left|thumb|Halo Fleet Battles starter package. Yes we know, that is a whole lot of ships.]]
With the introduction of Halo Fleet Battles which is essentially Halo's take on [[Battlefleet Gothic]], that is centered around the Fall of Reach which is like the biggest naval combat within the Covenant-UNSC fluff, some fa/tg/uys has apparently lost their collective shit due to the fact that this is the first time that Halo is getting a tabletop treatment (The Risk and Actionclix games although the models are nice, does not really count). Similar to most tabletop miniatures, the models coming with Halo Fleet Battles and its contemporary ground units comes unpainted which means you have to paint all the neely-willy details yourself, that and the fact that it comes with its own rulebook and stats has garnered /tg/'s approval. In fact, some has already decided to convert the models and place it within Battlefleet Gothic itself (Although how you will be able to adjust the rules to make it fair is going to be a nightmare).

Additionally, the set also comes with some kickass artwork depicting both factions leaders (Shame they didn't have Halo's answer to [[Creed]] that is [[Awesome|Preston "''I turned a Gas Giant into a fucking star just so I can stroke my massive ego''" Cole]]) sitting on their respective armchairs. Although how they are going to balance the UNSC/Covenant (Since Covenant ships can no-sell their UNSC equivalents) is up to [[Skub|debate.]] However since its release, they kind of bullshitted the balance by making almost every UNSC ship bigger than a cruiser to carry multiple MAC's, all of which are more powerful than the pea shooters that the frigates usually carry. Also the UNSC gets the advantage of SMAC Platforms which makes them great at holding the line and acting as giant, immobile, floating [[Basilisk Artillery Gun|Basilisks]]. This means that the UNSC specializes in [[Dakka|lots and lots of missile spam]] [[Tyranids|and swarm tactics]] to compensate general shitty defensive capabilities and shorter range whereas the Covenant act as giant line breakers with their fuck huge ships and [[MOAR DAKKA|massive firepower.]]

For the battles centered around the ground, Ground Command seems to be more feasibly plausible in fluff terms. What we know is that both factions are going to be incredibly dropship focused, meaning that the implementation and usage of dropships like the Pelican and Phantom are going to be crucial for tactical victory. Models for both factions are small enough to be converted into other tabletop games, although the UNSC personal are a tad bit taller than a Space Marine.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Super Carrier.JPG|Yes that is an actual model of a Covenant Super Carrier. [[Anal Circumference|No it will not be a good pain.]]
Image:Feleethalo_1.jpg|There will be more ship designs coming soon.
Image:DSC09153.jpg|Covenant minis for Ground Command.
Image:DSC09156.jpg|UNSC minis for Ground Command.
Image:Halo.jpg|That's right, Halo's dropships are as big as a [[Thunderhawk]] [[Reasonable Marines|while being more sensibly designed and having more firepower to boot.]]
Image:
</gallery>

==Spartan stats==
For those who wanted to put a Spartan in tabletop for some reason, here are the rules.

'''WS''' 4 / '''BS''' 4 / '''S''' 4 / '''T''' 3 / '''W''' 1 / '''I''' 4 / '''A''' 1 / '''Ld''' 8 / '''Sv''' 3+/6++

;Composition
3 Spartans
 1 Spartan - Squad Leader (Ld 9)

;Unit Type
Infantry

;Wargear
* MJOLNIR Armor
* MA5C Assault Rifle
* Combat Knife
* Frag Grenades (Offensive)

;Special Rules
* '''''At All Costs''''' - As per their tactical doctrines, Spartans are combat veterans of independent action and deep infiltration missions. Spartans gain the ''Stubborn'' rule from the Warhammer 40k Core Rulebook.
* '''''Shoot First, Ask Later''''' - Spartans specialize in ranged tactics, and prefer not to engage powerful enemies head-on. Spartans will more often than not disengage from melee combat to use their ranged weapons instead. Spartans gain the ''Hit & Run'' rule from the Warhammer 40k Core Rulebook.

;Options:
* May Include up to 4 additional Spartan- for ''13 points per Model''
* Any model in the squad may take an Onboard AI for ''3 points per Model''
* For every 4 models in a squad, one model may replace their MA5C Rifle with one of the following:
** M90 CAWS (Shotgun)...............................''6 points per Model''
** SRS99D-S2 AM (Sniper Rifle)..................''10 points per Model''
** M41 SSR MAV/AW (Missile Launcher)........''15 points per Model''
** M6 Grindell/Galilean Nonlinear Rifle (Spartan Laser)....35 points per model
* Each Spartan squad must choose to be one of the following:
** Spartan Is - Squad gain the ''Eternal Warrior'' and ''Feel No Pain'' USRs for 10pts per model. Role a d6 for each model, on results of 5+ the model also gains the ''Crazed'' special rule.
** Spartan IIs - Squad gain +1 Ballistic Skill and the ''Split Fire'' USR for 4 points per model. The squad may choose to become an '''Elite''' Choice.
** Spartan IIIs - Squad gain the ''Stealth'' and ''Infiltrate'' USRs for 3 points per model.
** Spartan IVs - Squad gain the ''Hatred'' and ''Fleet'' USRs for 3 points per model.

;SPARTAN ARMORY

* '''MJOLNIR Armor''' - Created parallel to the Spartan-II Program, the MJOLNIR Armor is a sealed system, capable of extravehicular activity or operations in toxic atmosphere. Weighing over half a metric ton, the armor's shell is constructed in overlapping layers of Titanium-A plating and highly durable ballistic alloys of remarkable strength. It has even been augmented with a refractive coating capable of dispersing a limited amount of energy weapon strikes. The Spartan gains a ''3+ Armor Save''.
** MJOLNIR armor is equipped with a full-body recharging energy shield that was reverse-engineered from captured alien technology. The shield itself is utterly transparent and does not hinder sight in any way but briefly flashes a greenish-gold color when hit. The Spartans gain a ''6+ Invulnerable Save''.

* '''Onboard AI''' - All MJOLNIR Mk V models or better feature a complex crystalline matrix within their neural interface, which Cortana likened in structure to the computer systems of the ''Pillar of Autumn''. An AI construct increases tactical awareness, provides an indispensable guide, serving almost as a co-pilot and navigator, and multiplies the Spartan's already phenomenal reflexes. A Spartan equipped with an Onboard AI increases their Initiative value by 1.

* '''MA5C Assault Rifle''' - The MA5C has an attached electronics suite that provides information on rounds remaining in the magazine, compass heading, and capable of wireless up-link with MJOLNIR systems for improved accuracy. Made of Titanium Alloy and Polymers, the rifle performs well in a variety of environments. Having a rate of fire of 650 rounds a minute, and chambering the old-school M118 7.62x51mm NATO Armor Piercing, Full Metal Jacket Rounds, the MA5C is fully capable of a withering barrage whilst even in motion or on a charge. Though lacking strength and stopping power, these rounds are designed to pierce most conventional ballistic body armor.
** It has the following stats: '''Range''' 18" / '''Strength''' 3 / '''AP''' 6 / '''Type''' Assault 3

* '''M90 Shotgun''' - is a pump-action, magazine-fed, dual tubular non-detachable type weapon. It uses the Soellkraft 8-Gauge Magnum Shotgun Shell, a large round capable of phenomenal stopping power.
** It has the following stats: '''Range''' 12" / '''Strength''' 4 / '''AP''' - / '''Type''' Assault 2 Rending

* '''Sniper Rifle S99D-S2 AM''' - aka the "SR System 99D-S2 Anti-Matériel", it is a semi-automatic UNSC sniper rifle that fires 14.5 x 114mm APFSDS (Armor-Piercing Fin-Stabilized Discarding Sabot, with a tungsten or depleted uranium core) from a 4-round magazine. As a sniper rifle, it is fitted with a variable-magnification optic that shows real time images in infrared vision when not looking through it. When looking through it, the scope shows a target's distance and elevation. The rifle is so powerful it even can be used effectively to fire at light armored vehicles.
** It has the following stats: '''Range''' 48" / '''Strength''' X/ '''AP''' 4 (''When firing at vehicles, the rifle adds D6 to its Armor penetration value'') / '''Type''' Heavy 1, Sniper, Anti Material.
Anti Material: Shots fired from this weapon rend on a 4+.

* '''M41 Rocket Launcher''' - aka the "M41 SSR" fires 102mm HEAP (High Explosive Armor Piercing) shaped charge rockets. The launcher sports a 2x scope and can fire rockets over long distances with devastating accuracy, and its two launch tubes allow the wielder to fire two rockets before needing to reload. The rocket launcher spreads a huge amount of damage over a large area. It is capable of taking out entire groups of infantry at any range and is effective against most vehicles.
** It has the following stats: '''Range''' 48" / '''Strength''' 7 / '''AP''' 3 / '''Type''' Heavy 2, Blast

* '''M6 Grindell/Galilean Nonlinear Rifle''' - The Anti-Vehicle Model 6 Grindell/Galilean Nonlinear Rifle (abbreviated AV M6 G/GNR) also known as the ''Spartan Laser'', is the UNSC's first man-portable, shoulder-fired direct energy weapon.
** It has the following stats: '''Range''' 36" / '''Strength''' 9 / '''AP''' 2 / '''Type''' Heavy 1, Ignores Cover

-Targeting beam: The Spartan Laser projects an obvious laser target, any enemy units that can, may choose to fire Overwatch at the firers unit as if it was the assault phase.

Spartans may take the '''M831 Troop Transport''' (M831 TT) or '''M12 Light Reconnaissance Vehicle''' (M12 LRV) as their dedicated transport.

==Dedicated Transports==
* M12 Light Reconnaissance Vehicle - 40 points
* M831 Troop Transport - 30 points

'''Armour (Front)''' 10 / '''Armour (Side)''' 10 / '''Armour (Rear)''' 10 / '''HP''' 2

;Unit Type
Vehicle (Fast, Open-Topped, Transport)

;Wargear
* M46 Light Anti-Aircraft Gun (M12 LRV)
* None (M831 TT)

;Transport Capacity
* Four (M12 LRV)
* Eight (M831 TT)

The ubiquitous M12 and its troop transport variant the M831, are the UNSC's primary multi-role ground vehicles. They are used anywhere from scouting and reconnaissance to fast vehicle transport, forming an integral part of the UNSC's armored vehicle fleet for fifty years. It is a highly mobile, all-wheel-drive, all-wheel-steering, all-weather vehicle, capable of traversing all but the most dangerous of terrain. The M831 features a rear bed with an expanded seating compartment, while the M12 features a rear mounted anti-aircraft gun (the M46 LAAG) that can also be used against infantry.

'''M46 LAAG''' - The M46 Light Anti-Aircraft Gun (LAAG) is a tripled-barreled, electric-powered, linkless, belt-fed weapon. The LAAG fires the 12.7x99mm (.50 cal) armor penetrating rounds and can fire at a rate of 1200 rounds per minute.
* It has the following stats: '''Range''' 48" / '''Strength''' 5 / '''AP''' 5 / '''Type''' Heavy 4, Skyfire

- The M12 may choose to replace its M46 LAAG with a ''M68 Gauss Cannon'' for 35 points

'''M68 Gauss Cannon''' - Officially known as the M68 Asynchronous Linear-Induction Motor, this heavy weapon fires 25mm hypersonic speed projectiles via asynchronous magnetic acceleration. The kinetic energy of which is enough to pierce even the heaviest of armor plating or completely obliterate unprotected matter.

* It has the following stats: '''Range''' 60" / '''Strength''' 8 / '''AP''' 1 / '''Type''' Heavy 1

==Independent Character==

HQ: Master Chief Petty Officer John 117 - 170 points.

'''WS''' 5 / '''BS''' 6 / '''S''' 4 / '''T''' 3 / '''W''' 4 / '''I''' 5 / '''A''' 4 / '''Ld''' 10 / '''Sv''' 3+/6++

;Unit Type
Infantry (Independent Character)

;Wargear
* MJOLNIR Armor
* MA5C Assault Rifle
* Combat Knife
* Frag Grenades (Offensive)
* Cortana (Counts as On Board AI)

;Special Rules
* '''''Spartan II''''' - The Master Chief has the ''Split Fire'' USR.
* '''''At All Costs''''' - As per their tactical doctrines, Spartans are combat veterans of independent action and deep infiltration missions. The Master Chief gains the ''Stubborn'' USR.
* '''''Shoot First, Ask Later''''' - Spartans specialize in ranged tactics, and prefer not to engage powerful enemies head-on. Spartans will more often than not disengage from melee combat to use their ranged weapons instead. The Master Chief gains the ''Hit & Run'' USR.
* '''''Heroes Never Die''''' - The Master Chief gains the ''It Will Not Die'' and ''Eternal Warrior'' USRs, in addition he may fire heavy weapons at full ballistic skill even if the unit moves but unlike the Relentless universal special rule he may only ever fire one weapon per turn.
* '''''He May Not Be The Strongest''''' - The Master Chief gains the ''Fearless'' USR and may re-roll failed saving throws of any kind.

May replace his primary weapon (MA5C assault rifle) with of one special weapons from the following list:

* M90 CAWS (Shotgun)...............................''6 points
* SRS99D-S2 AM (Sniper Rifle).......................''10 points
* M41 SSR MAV/AW (Missile Launcher)...................''15 points
* M6 Grindell/Galilean Nonlinear Rifle (Spartan Laser)....35 points

Due to being at the forefront of many battles such as the battle of Requiem Master Chief Petty Officer John 117 may take weaponry not usually issued to Spartan teams, he may select a secondary special weapon from an extended list:

* '''Z-390 High-Explosive Munitions Rifle''' (Incineration Cannon).....55 points
** It has the following stats: '''Range''' 48" / '''Strength''' 9 / '''AP''' 1 / '''Type''' Heavy 1, Blast, Ionizing.
- ''Ionizing'': If a model suffers a wound from a weapon with the Ionizing special rule and before Feel No Pain rolls are made, the bearer rolls a d6, on a result of 4+ the model suffers Instant Death with no saves of any kind allowed including Feel No Pain, In addition Necron reanimation protocols may not be used on models which were removed from play by this special rule.

* '''Asymmetric Recoilless Carbine-920''' (Rail Gun)...................20 points
It has the following stats: '''Range''' 48" / '''Strength''' 6 / '''AP''' 1 / '''Type''' Assault 1

Master Chief Petty Officer John 117 may choose to switch between firing his primary weapon or secondary weapon in every shooting phase; only one of the weapons can be fired per turn.

Communism

2016-08-03T23:47:23Z

2600:8803:1C02:A800:D8DB:730A:7815:302F: Look, this page is already too political as it is without others starting a shitfight on the page. If you want to get both the favorable and unfavorable views of communism, head to other sites, and stop clogging up this wiki with irrelevant shit.

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[[Image:Communismleaders.jpg|right|thumb|400px|Contrary to western propaganda, this is how communism has always worked.]]

''"Under [[capitalism]], man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite."''

'''Communism''' is the screwing over of the people and claming it is in the benifit of the whole (the "[[Greater Good]]", so to speak) and the ownership of all industriy by the government, making the nation get cought up in stupid beurocracy. There were various systems and methods based around the idea of not owning anything to various degrees employed throughout history, but proper communism starts with Karl Marx, a 19th century proto SJW who observed the effects of the Industrial Revolution. He observed that while the mechanization of production that was happening was a good thing as it generated a lot of wealth, it was [[Butthurt | grossly unfair]] that said wealth only benefited a few [[Games Workshop|fucking rich pricks]] while most people lived in Victorian poverty. He viewed society as being on a very clear cut path of social evolution with clearly defined phases and stages based around competition between various socioeconomic classes, and came to the conclusion that soon a [[Horus Heresy|revolution]] would end the division between social classes entirely as a single centralized state claimed ownership of all property and land for the good of its people. While he never formed an explanation of how this would occur, he considered such a transition to be inevitable.

To make a very long story that composes much of 20th century history short and would likely require a college-level economics course just to understand why events played out the way they did, it was an ideal concept in theory but one which forgot the old adage "power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely". In practice, states that attempted to implement communist ideology either tended to devolve into dictatorships themselves or learned the hard way that controlling an entire economy in every possible way without something going horribly wrong is impossible.

==Communism in Traditional Games==
In general there are three ways communism is used in fiction and board games:

1: '''''FILTHY GODLESS COMMIE-NAZIS''''': Dangerous, faceless enemies, ripped straight from the wettest dreams of the Cold War-era American John Birch soceity. These communists are the enemy; a vast, brutal, godless horde determined to take over the world that our heroes must resist. Nowadays, this attitude is usually played for comedy, as in ''[[Paranoia]]'' where Friend Computer's glitched-out personality has made it a paranoid wreck obsessed with a largely-imaginary adversary.

2: '''Champions of the Proletariat''': The other side of the coin to what is listed above. These are either rebels against corrupt corporate overlords or a body of workers and soldiers fighting against fascist invaders, most people who complain about [[Games Workshop|GeeDubs]] think they are being this. Occasionally show up in Medieval settings as anachronistic peasant revolts or other politically-radical types out to pull down the social parts of [[Medieval Stasis]].

3: '''GLORIOUS COMMUNISTS''': Somewhere between the other two and generally played for laughs. Communist regimes are oppressive, but also able to do great thing through sheer force of Industrial Might, soviet Super-Science, Stalinist Architecture and Will-Of-The-People and can be heroic just as easily as villainous. See Red Alert-II and III, and to a lesser extent a few parts of the [[Imperium of Man]]. This is as close to the glorious accuracy of communism as you can get, comrade.

Communism has also provided us with the Russian army, which is awesome, in a drunken, drown your enemies with bodies and artillery sort of way. It is a sacred law of [[/tg/]] alternate history [[/tg/'s homebrews|homebrew]] settings that there must be at least one communist faction and it must control at least 50% of the world's total landmass. Even [[Warmachine| Khador]] draws on the imagery of the Soviet armed forces, despite being more analogous to Tsarist/Imperialist Russia politically, aside from their Manifest Destiny "Why can't everyone else just roll over and let us conquer them?!" ideology that has... [[Nazi| other roots]].

Like all radical ideologies, communists are all over [[Shadowrun| the Sixth World]], mostly among the poor and disenfranchised who can't help looking up at the big fancy megacorp enclaves and wondering how ''that'' makes any kind of just sense. The Berlin Flux State was probably the biggest and most successful anarcho-communist enclave in-setting for a while, before it became such an embarrassment to the megacorps insisting they should be the only game in town that many of them (including the one run by the great dragon Lofwyr) had it dismantled somewhere around second or third edition.

People like to call the [[Tau]] communist. There's ''some'' truth to that, given they're a highly-collective society that generally values group achievement over personal accomplishment, but they're also a largely class-stratified society, with only the assurance that their leaders are theoretically cooperating for the [[Greater Good]] to keep them from being out-and-out feudalists with castes. Then again, that isn't too different from what many commie states became. There is also the [[Gretchin Revolutionary Committee]], a parody of the kinds of communist guerrillas of previous decades, who are armed grots out to demand equal treatment from their ork masters with comical results.

[[Pathfinder Roleplaying Game| Golarion]] has got a semi-hemi-demi communist nation in-setting: Galt, land of insane, constant revolution where the only winners are the ''final blades''. It represents the "messy revolutionary" kind of communism rather than any of the three flavors above, though there's some obvious mixing with the principals of the French Revolution that was its more-direct inspiration.

''[[Star Trek]]'' is complicated. On the one hand, the Federation are essentially commies, but their advanced technology has created a post-scarcity economy so they can get away with it. Conversely, their chief rivals, the Klingons and the Romulans, are transparent parallel versions of the USSR and Maoist China seen through the pre-détente eyes of an American lounge lizard. Similar post-scarcity communists are common in ''[[Eclipse Phase]]'', though with a much stronger anarchist bent. They are largely and uncomplicatedly perfect due to the game designers' raging stiffy for that kind of thing.

Any WWII or quasi-WWII game worth its salt will have a communist faction, including the classic ''[[Axis & Allies]]'' and the modern wargame ''[[Flames of War]]''. Additionally, many classic board games have attempted to tap into the forty-five year struggle for dominance between Amurica and the communists. The most famous and best is probably ''[[Twilight Struggle]]''. [[TSR]] also released an RPG set during the Cold War called ''[[Top Secret]]'', though, like most non-''D&D'' TSR products, no one under thirty-five has ever heard of it.

{{BLAM|This article has been marked as containing treasonous capitalist road sentiments. Please report to your local commissariat for re-education through labor.}}

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:AK-47.jpg|Glorious Soviet Industries could be used to produce huge numbers of reliable and effective things which are still in high demand after a half a century...
File:Lada 1200.jpg|...Their cars are not on that list.
[[category:Not related]]