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Adeptus Mechanicus

2018-02-23T10:28:24Z

2601:147:4200:6280:2450:6AB1:452C:5E62:

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{{Infobox 40k Nations
|name= Adeptus Mechanicus
|image= [[Image:AdMech_Flag.jpg ‎|300px|center]]
|bgcolor=
|fgcolor=
|Capital=[[Mars]]
|Official Languages=Lingua-technis, Low Gothic, High Gothic
|Power=Galactic Superpower
|Size=Galactic 125 Known Forgeworlds totals presumably in the tens-of-thousands Numerous outposts and research stations
|Head of State=[[High Lords of Terra#Members|Fabricator-General of Mars]]
|Head of Government=[[High Lords of Terra#Members|Fabricator-General of Mars]]
|Governmental Structure=Totalitarian Theocratic Technocracy (''Before Great Crusade'') Semi-Autonomous Theocratic Technocracy (''Great Crusade'')
|State Religion/Ideology=[[Omnissiah]]
|Demographic=[[Humans]], various [[Servitors]], Assorted Transhuman
|Military Force=[[Skitarii]], [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|Collegia Titanica]], [[Ordinatus|Centurio Ordinatus]], [[Legio Cybernetica]], [[Imperial Knight|Knight Houses]]
}}

''"War is the science of destruction."'' 
- John Abbott

''"Go go gadget Rocket boots!''"- ancient Terran Skitari protector code name "Gadget" seen as a living saint among early mechancium

''"i am...a machine''" - ancient Terran Cybernetic law officer, serial numbers "R080-C0P" defended hive city detroit from those who would abuse the omnisiahs subjects

''"Technology is a gift of God. After the gift of life it is perhaps the greatest of God's gifts. It is the mother of civilizations, of arts and of sciences."'' 
- Freeman Dyson

''"Sometimes I wonder why you submitted to the changes."'' 
''"Improvements! I submit to no one. I chose them."'' 
- A-4D & General Grievous

''"[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wy-sVTaZRPk Our Wrath Has Come Online]"'' 
- War Cant of Mars

Basically what happens when you combine the extreme technophilia and cyborg-fetishism of the [[Cyberpunk]] Genre with the religiosity and aesthetics of Medieval Gothic, the '''Adeptus Mechanicus'''; [https://youtu.be/7p3H5avBJs0 Formerly] known as the '''Mechanicum''' and often shortened as '''Admech''', is an organization in the [[Imperium of Man]] (In the loosest sense of the word) responsible for technology, engineering and most of the Imperium's Industrial production, as well as the operation of the [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|Titan]] Legions.

The Adeptus Mechanicus, whose individual members are known as [[Techpriest]]s, own thousands of heavily polluted planet-factories known as [[Forge World#Planet|forge worlds]], which are covered in massive manufactoria or, as they are known to speakers of Low Gothic, 'work'. The largest forge world of the Adeptus Mechanicus is [[Mars]], homeworld of the Adeptus Mechanicus, on which the most badass weapons ever known to man are made. Despite being part of the Imperium, the AdMech was actually its own nation and a respectable superpower in its own right throughout the Great Crusade and largely is to this day. The 'being-part-of-the-Imperium' shtick began as just a symbolic gesture of goodwill signed by the Treaty of Mars, but was codified when they became the "Adeptus Mechanicus" after their former leader fell to chaos. They still secured protection and quasi-independence though, courtesy of [[Awesome|marching an Imperator titan into the senate chamber and holding them at building-sized gunpoint]]. You could almost think of the Adeptus Mechanicus as relative to the Imperium of man the same way Scotland does to the United Kingdom. The Imperium of man may be sovereign over the Ad-mech, but the Adeptus Mechanicus is it's own political entity. Given that 40k is British this comparison may even be intentional. Because of this, the AdMech is arguably more powerful then the rest of the Imperium as they hold claim to all the various Forgeworlds, Mining worlds and Research Stations needed for the production of machines of war for the Imperium. Essentially speaking, the AdMech could possibly survive without the Imperium (although it would be difficult), while the Imperium can't afford to do the same.

They also have a [[monopoly]] on [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TvN5lCVkRk all the really cool shit for themselves]—like Titans, [[Ordinatus]], and other wonderful stuff—only letting the Imperials have it when really, really necessary (or if they're threatened personally). They have two armies of their own, which are not anything like the [[Imperial Guard]], as they are mostly composed of badass angry cyborgs and boxy technogrunge robots that are more violent than ED209, and giant, tank-crushing, [[Servitor|lobotomized minions]]. They are also technological rivals with the [[Tau]] and potentially have made a few advances beyond the [[Eldar]], though the Eldar are much more advanced in psionic technology.

Only the [[Necrons]], an entire race of robots who's race-wide robotization was not their most advanced feat, eclipse them when it comes to technology; the Adeptus Mechanicus are mostly against this, seeing it as perverse because it's alien (Though there are some who even like or revere the Necrons because of this, and a few who may be jealous of the Necrons). Their primary reason for hoarding all the good shit is to keep it out of the hands of [[Chaos]] in case an army rebels, though they're also territorial as fuck when it comes to technology. They typically look like a cross between [[Star Wars|Jawas]] and [[/co/|Doctor Octopus]], as well as wearing the sort of rebreather masks that you'll typically see on riot police.

==The Commandments of the Mechanicus==
The Mechanicus have some ideas that they abide by:

'''The Mysteries:'''
#Life is directed motion.
#The spirit is the spark of life.
#Sentience is the ability to learn the value of knowledge.
#Intellect is the understanding of knowledge.
#Sentience is the basest form of Intellect.
#Understanding is the True Path to Comprehension.
#Comprehension is the key to all things.
#The Omnissiah knows all, comprehends all.

'''The Warnings:'''
#The alien mechanism is a perversion of the true path.
#The soul is the conscience of sentience.
#A soul can be bestowed only by the Omnissiah.
#The Soulless sentience is the enemy of all.
#The knowledge of the ancients stands beyond question.
#The machine spirit guards the knowledge of the ancients.
#Flesh is fallible, but ritual honors the machine spirit.
#To break with ritual is to break with faith.

==What the Mechanicus does==
[[Image:Mechanical-man.jpg|thumb|300px|right|[[Awesome|"You may say, it is impossible for a man to become like the Machine. And I would reply, that only the smallest mind strives to comprehend its limits." - Fabricator General Kane.]]]]
The main role of the Adeptus Mechanicus is to maintain the advanced equipment of the Imperium; which despite stereotypes, they are actually very good at. Most of their rituals to appease machinery are pretty much the same methods we would use to repair our machinery with a whole bunch of religious iconography mixed in. The terms used by the Mechanicus are actually quite similar to our engineers if you swap some of the words (replace machine spirit with A.I, sacred oils with lubricant etc.) Because of its religious nature some of the components of the rituals are unnecessary but almost all Tech-Priests skip the unnecessary stuff in dire situations while some abandon the unnecessary parts altogether. It's also implied that the so-called holy chants are really them repeating instructions to themselves, which would be useful for remembering what you're doing. The cases where chanting is actually necessary is where they are working with something like a [[Land Raider]] or Titan - both of which have a temperamental machine spirit - that you don't want to piss off.

They spend a lot of time traveling across the galaxy looking for some old laptops called "[[Standard Template Construct]]s" that have all the info necessary for the first human colonist do their job well (mostly a mix of Ikea and "high-tech for dummies" manuals). This is the reason why you will end selling grox hamburgers if you study to be a scientist (unless you have balls or are a spess mehreen artificer who might make something really good) in the [[Imperium]]: everything was already done by the ancients in the Dark Age of [[Cyberpunk|William Gibson]] and recorded in these STCs. Thanks to glitches, lack of maintenance, and Chaos corruption, nearly all the STCs found by the Mechanicus are more fucked up than Windows Vista. While often the recovered STCs are useless or incomplete, there are instances where they are actually functional, for example the STC data of the Land Raider and the Land Speeder as well as Centurion armour are well known, another nice example is the one found in the novel Skitarius by [[Rob Sanders]], where the badass protagonist helps the Adeptus Mechanicus priests to find a sort of "Empyrean Bomb", capable to dissipate warp phenomena. More often than not STC data comes from print-outs from fragmented STCs, or copies of these print-outs. These printouts, when discovered, are studied, translated and argued over for centuries before any useful products are made from them. If they ever find an undamaged complete STC, this would likely cause a schism within the Mechanicus, which will tear the Imperium asunder. It's worth noting that different writers seem to have different ideas of what an STC is. Some depict them as a single blueprint for some high-tech equipment, some depict them as a database of those blueprints, and on at least one occasion an STC was portrayed as what can be described as a massive 3-D Printer. The Adeptus Mechanicus also attempt sometimes to loot [[Necron]] tombs and will gladly put an entire world at risk for this, and act like it's blasphemy of the most serious kind when people wall it off because of the goddamn killer robot skeletons! The idiots. The Priests of Mars also will not mind getting their hands on Xenos artifacts to see how such "blasphemies" can work, and maybe give a hint of how a [[Orky|"pure" design should have been.]]

[[Image:MECHANICUS.jpg|thumb|500px|left|The faculty of engineering never looked so cool!]]
Very rarely the Adeptus will actually invent something. While they do adapt designs occasionally the only things they actually invented from scratch is the [[Lascannon]], the Dunestrider perpetual motion machine (whose creator was promptly executed and all designs lost upon creation), as well all the [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|Titans]], except for the Reaver Class and the Apocalypse Class, which were invented during the Age of Strife and the Dark Age of Technology respectively. Which is pretty odd, until you realize that they invented them [[Horus Heresy|pre-heresy]]. Even things like [[Land Raider]]s and [[Land Speeder]]s, which were said to have been given critically important parts by the famous Mr. Land himself, were actually just made from really old bits Land found in the galaxy's third biggest library/archive/warehouse (the one on Terra). Well, they also invented the Infernus pattern Predator. Sure they built it on the [[Rhino Transport|Rhino]] chassis, but they created a pattern without killing everyone involved. Of course, they aren't ''actually'' "inventing" it. They are, supposedly, using divinely inspired reason to create something that has always existed, implicit in the logical structure of the universe. This is, interestingly, not a new idea, it can be traced back to philosophers like Plato, ultimately the Mechanicus will play to no end with the meaning of the word "invent" to get the job done, as too often and despite /tg/'s cartoonish flanderization your average techpriest will have enough common sense to "feel divinely inspired" whenever his/her neck is on the line, you know, desperation is the mother of all inven... Ahem, I mean, "divinely inspired reason". More recently, several of the cogboys under the influence of Archmagos [[Belisarius Cawl]] have been learning how to use actual innovation, producing entirely new designs like the [[Repulsor Tank]]. If they'll produce something that isn't a ripoff of crappier franchises is another thing another entirely. Most in universe and out just wish they would recreate mass Volkites in 40k and other 30k era shit that hasn't been ported over yet. [[Plasma#Phased_Plasma_Fusil|Plasma that doesn't explode when overcharged or barely needs such a thing would be nice to have too.]]

Also important to mention is what they ''do not do.'' The Mechanicus by and large are the greediest gits in the galaxy. They hoard technology like it is going out of style, which would be fine, if they didn't hoard and defend it, but that isn't the point. The point ''is'' that they're basically [[Monopoly|a mega-corporation that will try to own, buy, sell and take by force any existing technology]]. Getting a part, gun, computer, vehicle, schematic, program, eyepatch, cookie recipe, or even a [[Miniatures|tiny plastic model]] that wasn't specifically mass-produced and shipped to the [[Departmento Munitorum]] so ''they'' can give it to you, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TvN5lCVkRk is nearly impossible.] Anything with any kind of passing significance or interest to the Mechanicus is guarded by 7-foot cyborg death machines. Anything in the private possession of a Mechanicus operative that ''might be'' harder to make than a bolt or nut is treated like the holy grail. I dare you to try and [[rage|take a 8,000 year-old flash drive from a techpriest who just found it.]] It's worse than taking little plastic models from [[tg|fat men]] [[neckbeards|with beards]].

===Mechanicum Understanding of Science===
There's the common misconception that the AdMech don't really understand science and approach all tech with rituals. That's arguably wrong. In the "Mechanicum" novel they are shown to have actual theoretical knowledge of physics. Yes, that's 31st millennium, but it's quite clear that even in the 41st they know about "normal" science like mechanic, thermodynamic, biology, optics, quantum physics etc. AdMech has probably as much science as we have today and more. And they are quite happy to play with it. What they don't really understand and they don't like to play with (unless they are really forced to) is the hyper advanced tech from the dark age of technology.

Take the lasgun as an example. There are almost infinite patterns of lasguns. They are almost all developed after the great crusade because we know that the lasgun wasn't that common back there. So they understand materials and mechanics well enough to create different stocks and triggers. They understand optics as they can focus the las beam with different barrel lengths. And they do use this knowledge to create new patterns. What they won't modify is the power pack. Because the power pack is a scary super advanced piece of technology that not only will hold enough energy for a hundred las shots powerful enough to kill an armored man, but it will be easily rechargeable thousands of times. And they don't have a clue on how that works.

There's a quite good reason to that. The ultra advanced science used in the Dark Age of Technology was developed with the aid of AIs and super advanced computers. It's entirely possible that even the scientists of that time didn't fully understand their science and a lot of r&d was done automatically by artificial intelligence far superior to humans, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9OHn5ZF4Uo&t with programing so complex no human actually knew how the damn thing was thinking]. Now you can't do this anymore because you know that AIs will try to kill you. In the "Mechanicum" novel the Dragon Caretaker says that the Emperor engineered the creation of the Mechanicum. Why the atheist Emperor would create a machine cult if not because it was the only way to retain a technology that the humanity would have no possibility to comprehend anymore once that the AIs would be wiped out?

This is interesting because it's said that the Emperor defeated the Dragon during the late Roman Empire, for this purpose. This means that he foresaw the rebellion of the machines and the long night and allowed it as a mean to develop a technology that could then be salvaged after.

Then the Horus Heresy came and fucked up everything. And yes, the cult mentality of AdMech involved probably more than should have been. But the real reason that they don't go around innovating and creating new stuff, it's that id doesn't pay off. The real "power" of their technology comes from the Dark Age of Technology stuff and they are not able to touch that.

And this is not all. The lack of AIs and uber computational power might hinder you from understanding advanced science to a point, yes. But it will absolutely wreck your ability to produce practical applications of said advanced science. Let me make an example, ok? You are fifty years in the future and fusion energy is an everyday reality from fusion power plants. ITER worked after all. You are transported on to a desert island and you have all the scientific knowledge of humanity in your brain. You are asked to build a practical fusion based power source. You can use any tool and component but you don't have access to computers. Can you do it?

Nah. You can understand perfectly how the thing should work and how to design one. But without computers you don't have the ability of run the extremely complex calculations and simulations to optimize the reactor to the point that it produces more energy than it consumes. So they hand you a blueprint of a currently working reactor. Can you build it now? Sure. You have a blueprint and the theoretical knowledge to understand what you are doing, so you build the damn thing.

Then they ask you if you can build another but slightly different. Bigger? Smaller? More powerful? Less powerful? Doesn't matter. Can you do that?

Well... maybe? You have the blueprints of a working design and you have the theoretical understanding on how it works, so you can try to modify it. But you still don't have the computational power to validate your modifications so... you can try? Best case scenario, it works. Worst case scenario? You nuke the whole fucking island. On the average? It will kinda work but it will less efficient/polished/optimized than the original design.

So you don't really like to modify the original (standard) template (construct), unless you are '''really''' forced to. Does it remind you of something? Yep, that's the mechanicum mindset.

==History of the Adeptus Mechanicus==

The Mechanicus was established in the distant past, when a bunch of <s>[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elon_Musk machine worshiping technophiles]</s> normal people terraformed Mars during mankind's dominating of the Solar System and colonizing of the galaxy. Thus Mars became an extremely technologically advanced society of astronauts, scientists, engineers, manufacturers, and miners wherein they could pursue advances in technology and power the [[Dark Age of Technology]]. After a while, during the [[Age of Strife]], their precious atmosphere was punctured, and solar radiation <s>beat down on their filthy heads</s> burned the land, boiled the seas, and took the sky from them, nuking all life. Everybody either did one of three things: die, hide underground, or turn feral. After hundreds of years of living from half-working mechanical bunker to partially-pressurized archaic hab spire; people began to look upon technology as a saviour and way to return to the former heights of glory. Thus, did a new cult spread amongst the people of Mars, wherein they paid reverence to the Machine God. [[Just as planned]]. And then they joined the [[EMPRAH]] because they saw him as an aspect of the Machine God called the '[[Omnissiah]]'. As if the parallels aren't already tremendously clear at this point.

[[File:Techpriests_are_still_human_deep_inside.jpg|thumb|200px|left|Who said they are not human or lack the human factor? And thanks to Priests of Mars this is canon.]]
Except it's giant load of bullshit. The Tech-priesthood were FORCED to acknowledge the Big E as an incarnate of Machine God quite literally at gunpoint. This happened after they sent pretty much their entire fleet and army to Terra to prevent the Unification of meatbags, so they can continue to raid ancient Terran tombs and libraries once or twice a century. The Emperor's fleet fucked them so hard only one in ten returned to Mars to tell the tale. Needless to say, the Fabricator-General was very cooperative when the Emprah's armada arrived in Mars' orbit. At least they managed to get a special exemption from the "no religions" rule, possibly because the Emperor already knew about the Dragon of Mars (see below; then again it wouldn't be the first time a head of state was a hypocrite or practiced double standards). In exchange for giving the Imperium all the guns and tanks they needed, the Emperor promised the Fabricator-General full autonomy on all Forge Worlds, as well as access to Navigators and Astropaths for space travel, and all Archeotech found during the [[Great Crusade]]. Naturally, this managed to smooth things over between the two factions, resulting in the Treaty of Mars and the beginning of the Imperium; As a sign of their alliance, the Emperor changed his sigil from the lightning bolt, as used by the [[Thunder Warriors]], to the two-headed Aquila.

Hilariously, the "Machine God" may actually be the Void Dragon, one of the ancient [[C'tan]] Star Gods. The Void Dragon is actually one of the most powerful of the C'tan, and gains control over machines. All those techpriests are going to have serious problems when it wakes up... Oh yeah. It's on Mars because the EMPRAH roofied it and turned it into an angry cave on Mars. It's now guarded by the Mechanicus in their Noctys Labyrinth. This point of view is not certain, so the Machine God may be anything like the collective mass of all machines or the sum of all knowledge, neither would all Mechanicus accept a C'Tan as their lord (but that's the point, they don't know it's a C'tan if it is). But it's a more [[Grimdark|fun]] version, isn't it? They also created a [[Steel Confessors|Chapter]] of their own [[Space Marines]] once.

==The Machine Spirits==
''"If you run from technology, it will chase you."'' 
- Robert M. Pirsig
[[Image:Magos Dominus.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Your average Magos]]
The "[[Machine Spirit]]" is the Imperium's version of Artificial Intelligence, mainly because after the reunification of [[Earth|Terra]]; the Emperor forbade the use of AI in machinery (partly because of the ancient rebellion of the [[Men of Iron]], but mostly to prevent Chaos-corrupted AIs from skullfucking them, Skynet style).

For all the importance of Machine Spirits to the Mechanicus, it's not entirely clear what they actually are. One theory holds that there is actually a semi-sentient AI fragment in pretty much everything electronic, a leftover from the Age of Strife. These "ghosts in the machine" quite literally must be appeased, or else they'll fuck with the targeting systems in your Bolter at the worst possible moment, start doing doughnuts with your Land Raider, and generally act like [[dick]]s. All the ritual and apparent silliness of the Cult Mechanicus, then, is actually necessary to keep the machines operating.

The prevailing theory within the Mechanicus itself would seem to hold that a Machine Spirit is a fragment of the Machine God itself. Whether this is simply rhetoric (you need to keep your gun oiled, or it'll backfire, and the cogboys are just really picky about how you oil it) or the actual truth (the Machine God extends its awareness to literally every machine in the universe, which is disturbingly more possible than one might think), the fact remains that Machine Spirits are real enough to severely ruin your day (or your continent, in the case of an itinerant Land Raider), and the ritual and mysticism surrounding the Cult Mechanicum's everyday activities is far more important to them than even the Imperial Creed.

The Techpriests of Mars got around the restrictions against "Abominable Intelligence" in true WH40K [[grimdark]] fashion: cut out the "Artificial" part and make it organic, and vice versa. Nearly every piece of sophisticated machinery in the Imperium operates via a cogitator, analogous to a modern-day microchip, which is basically the cloned or recycled brain of a human converted to function like a horrific cyborg version of a CPU. This interpretation of the "Machine Spirit" is particularly disturbing, to be sure, but is a necessity because the Iron Men incident and Age of Strife in general made the Imperium fear the "Silica Animus". The only true difference between a semi-organic cogitator and a true AI is that their machine spirits have no ability to learn or improve on their own, and therefore must be manually programmed by their operators if they need to learn or do anything that is outside their current programming. Thus, it is now nearly (but not entirely) impossible for machines to rebel on their own, quelling the fears of the Imperium.

In any of these cases, it can be easily understood why machines are revered by the Mechanicus and why they are treated like sentient beings. Although, the AdMech is a bit fuzzy just ''how'' sentient machines are; are they somehow capable of thought like organics or no more sentient than your bread toaster at home?

== Forge Worlds ==



See [[Forge World#Planet]] for a comprehensive list of all Forge Worlds.

Forge Worlds are all based on Mars. Literally so -- the AdMech so revere the nuke blasted hellscape of Mars that they intentionally terraform other planets into it. Filled with a combination of research labs, libraries, churches, forges, warehouses and factories, the Forge Worlds provide the Imperium with the vast majority of their equipment.

Each Forge World has their own color scheme, themes, and specialties, similar to Space Marine chapters or Imperial Guard regiments.

=== 8th Edition's Forge Worlds of choice are: ===

* '''Mars''': The original. Likely has a C'tan (The [[Void Dragon]]) buried inside it. Mars is a radioactive desert wasteland where factories and other forge world bits are built on top of kilometer deep ruins of previous bits, all infested with insane robots, sentient demonic warp viruses, and other things that go bump in the night that have been dicking around since the Horus Heresy. Immediately after the Dark Age of Technology they went full ''Kin-Dza-Dza'' and devolved into atmosphere-less techno-barbarianism until the Emperor showed up after he conquered Earth.
* '''Lucius''': Teleportation and Armor specialists, as well as known for a strange "solar blessed" metal called Luciun. Lucius is hollow, with an artificial star inside. Was attacked by Hive Fleet Leviathan, they survived by hiding inside their planet and sending out hordes of Servitors, letting them get eaten, then using Servo-skulls to pull the techy bits back underground and put them on new cloned bodies before the biomass could be absorbed, effectively starving the Leviathan forces to death. Had a civil war called the Inculcata Schism that almost caused the planet to ''implode'' (teleportation specialists is a nice way of saying "experiments with warp tech"), so they wear red as a way to kiss up to Mars. This is a common theme among forge worlds.
* '''Agripinaa''': Right outside of and now the front line to the Eye of Terror, after Cadia fell all the refugees fled to Stygies VIII and Agripinaa... who promptly conscripted them into their Skitarii and Servitor forces -- by force. They effectively blackmailed millions of desperate refugees, trapped on their planet and in orbit, and turned them into various flavors of mindless or brainwashed combat cyborgs. Also known for sending incursions around and occasionally ''into'' the Eye of Terror.
* '''Stygies VIII''': Had '''two''' Titan legions based on it during the Horus Heresy, '''both''' of which turned traitor. They were saved at the last minute by the [[Eldar]], leading to them having a soft spot for Xenos. Home to the Xenarite faction, a faction that believes in studying Xenos technology. The official reason for this blatant tech-heresy is to better understand why Humanity's technology is superior. Stygies is also home to the "Runic Priests," (No, [[Space Wolves|not those]]), a faction of AdMech that specialize in intuition, speculation, and improvisation. Ultimately they were considered "too big to fail," so the High Lords of Terra declared they were to be left alone, despite flirting with Xenos crap and Heretekal science. Eventually the Inquisition found out and decided to purge the planet anyway, in the '''Xenarite Schism'''. Stygies VIII responded by unleashing a computer virus that constantly purges the Administratum and the Ordo Xenos' computer systems of any evidence or discussion of how Stygies VIII is technically a Heretek world, while the Xenarites went mostly underground. [[Deathwatch]] Kill Teams still frequently attack them, alongside various Xenos forces who want their tech back. Stygians are stealth specialists, which they will deny whenever asked; they're also known for pretending to be from Mars when needed due to their color scheme. Oh, and they're currently invading the Eldar Webway in an attempt at raiding the [[Black Library]].
* '''Graia''': Even more aspie than normal AdMechs, Graia are nearly immune to psykers due to being too logical to manipulate. Notable for their space station that covers a huge portion of their planet, which is actually a space ''ship'' which Graia move around, and even take through the warp! Both Chaos and the Necrons target them for it. The whole Forge World lives on this <s>yellow submarine</s> space thing due to opening some sort of portal to ''somewhere'' on the planet's surface long ago. Known for refusing to retreat even when losses are guaranteed because to do so would mean their logical predictions were wrong. Red on their uniform is ostensibly because they are loyal to Mars, but actually because they like blood.
* '''Metalica''': Metalica is a completely sterile world, no atmosphere, no life, no anything but ''metal''. This may or may not be due to an [[retcon|ancient copyright scouring]] by a musical group bearing a similar name. Their Titan Legion was nearly destroyed during the Third War for Armageddon; their Princeps' decided that the best way to screw over the Orks was to fight the [[gargant]]s by over-extending like suicidal maniacs, and then ''become'' suicidal maniacs by self-destructing in the heart of the Ork forces. Totally ''not'' the noise AdMech -- their guns are intentionally loud to ''proclaim the glory of the Omnissiah.'' Metalica is also known for being the first Imperium force to go on a Tyranid safari. That's right, they're '''[[Awesome|actively hunting Hive Fleet Leviathan.]]''' They are, in fact, ''so metal.''
* '''Ryza''': Energy shield and plasma specialists, who have nothing to do with the [[Tau]] because they managed to remain relatively unmolested until the Mechanicus found them again during the Great Crusade. They have been invaded by [[Orks]] repeatedly, to the point that most of their Forge World's output goes directly to its own self defense. The more red on a Ryzan's robe, the more important they are. Led an aborted invasion of the Maelstrom in an attempt to go after the DarkMech world of Sarum. Ryza has a sect of Ruststalkers that have gone rogue, but still worship the Omnissiah so whatevs, it's all good. Known for being very ''enthusiastic'' towards melee combat, may or may not be due to Ork influence.

=== 8th Edition was nice enough to flesh out several back-canon Forge Worlds as well: ===

* '''Triplex Phall''': Isolated, on the far east side of the galaxy, Triplex Phall has recovered a ton of STC and Archeotech but refused to give it to Mars. Basically AdMech Protestants. Mars now has a Skitarii Legion following them around with express instructions to warn Mars if Triplex Phall forces find any more secret tech. Invaded by Hive Fleet Kraken, attacked by Typhus, and invaded by Demons.
* '''Deimos''': The moon of Mars, gifted to the Grey Knights of Titan at the end of the Horus Heresy. They make Grey Knight wargear and use Servitors to transfer the material between the Grey Knights and Deimos, mindscrubbing them at each end, allowing both organizations to keep their secrets. Deimos has ''three'' different Knight houses, because apparently the Grey Knights aren't enough knights for Deimos.
* '''Voss Prime''': The most Mars-fanboyish of the Mars Fanboys, has a focus on Legio Cybernetica robots. Closest Forge World to Armageddon. Voss has a huge asteroid field that repelled an Ork [[Waaagh]] merely on accident. Known for good tanks, but crappy plasma weapons. Not to be confused with Voss, which is another Forge World not too far away from Voss Prime.
* '''Gryphonne IV''': The lost Forge world. They are responsible for a lot of Imperial Guard support-tank patterns, thanks to the real-life [[Forge_World#Company|Forge World]]. The Tyranids ate their planet after they refused to listen to Inquisitor Kryptman, so they have become the first nomadic Forge "World": a space fleet actively seeking out a planet they can terraform into a new Mars. Whether or not Gryphonnians want to terraform said world into (degenerate-biome barren world) present-day Mars, or a (lush and properly-terraformed) Dark Age of Technology Mars is anyone's guess. Gryphonne IV is ''definitely not'' [[Craftworld|copying anything]].

The "big" Forge World remains Mars, with [[Cawl]] being the only unique character in the AdMech force. (Hieronomus Tezla says hello.) Lucius and (Metalica or Ryza depending on the current Edition) round out as the "main three" Forge Worlds, fluff wise.

However, each world has their own rules and details in the fluff, although the new ones remain somewhat intentionally vague for [[your dudes]] purposes -- Triplex Phall lends itself to odd conversions because "It's Archeotech!"; Deimos lends itself to borrowing some Grey Knights aesthetic and allies; Gryphonne IV being nomadic lends itself to battle damage and the like. Even the "old" forge worlds get some additional flavor in the new fluff -- Stygies VIII lends itself well to sneaky types or Xenos conversions and allies; Agripinaa force-conscripting refugees encourages Servitors / Skitarii converted from Imperial Guard (or even Ecclesiarchy and Necromunda). Metalica going on a ''fucking safari'' for Hive Fleet Leviathan splinter fleets just screams "Nid Hunter" Skitarii.

==The Religion of the Adeptus Mechanicus==
(Forgive OP's bellicose statement, but the fluff and novels pertaining to the AdMech are rather obscure to whether or not they truly understand what they talk about.)

Begin Rant/file exc.//>>

''Children, I'm fucking fed up with your shit. Cult Mechanicus IS NOT a replacement of rational thought with religion for the sake of operating machines.It's a (in-universe) developed philosophy of collective rationalism. AdMechs don't throw their critical thinking out of the window. They just already took this thinking, put it on a pedestal, brought it to its apex (Dark Age), suffered for it, suffered for it again (Horus Heresy, Schism of Mars), then looked at it and asked : "What do we do now?" Every Mechanicum is a rationalist, in a meaning that when he goes through all the critical thinking to the basic reason of his existence, he takes on the dogma of Quest for Knowledge. That he exists to Rationalize the Universe, move towards learning and understanding the Universe and its laws. It's also a collective quest - adept doesn't seek knowledge just for himself, he sees all the Adeptus Mechanicus as one single huge Gnostical Engine, a Machine of Comprehension designed to learn. He's just a single little gear in the heart of enormous Over-Intellect gathering and producing knowledge.

''For what sake? AdMechs thought a lot about this question, and took one answer.

''For the sake of Mankind.

''Now THIS is where shit gets religious.

''As of it now, humanity utilizes science for egoistical purposes of survival (scientists need something to eat) and/or domination, which can be understood by every human through his instincts. Society of Mars, however, got devoid of this motivators, as they dropped their human instincts, so they had to find new goals. This is where the Schism takes roots, as well as the "Cult" part. Every rational human can tell you that objectively life has no meaning. Accepting that fact is what brought the galaxy Necrons and Iron Men. AdMechs knew that this is what they wish to avoid. And the most effective way to avoid that is to walk the irrational way and put a sense for your existence through Faith.

''This is what they did.

''They are the fanatics in the sense that they BELIEVE that Universe CAN be comprehended, while they have 0 proof of that. They BELIEVE that critical thinking works, while living in a Galaxy that laughs at any attempts of rationalization. They BELIEVE that Quest for Knowledge can be completed. And it this faith, they are being paradoxical and irrational. And they know it. Lets have a look at Universal Laws, that Mechanicum use as the foundation of their philosophy.

''The Mysteries

''01. Life is directed motion.

''This gives a definition to "life", as existence of individual. A definition that basically says "Only that thing which irrationally takes a (faith) direction for its way can be called a Living Thing".

''02. The spirit is the spark of life.

''Here they recognize the illogical existence of Souls and Warp, and their defining roles in being representation of one's beliefs.

''03. Sentience is the ability to learn the value of knowledge.

''04. Intellect is the understanding of knowledge.

''05. Sentience is the basest form of Intellect.

''Here they define ability for rational thinking.

''06. Understanding is the True Path to Comprehension.

''07. Comprehension is the key to all things.

''And HERE they put this thinking as their Way to exist.

''08. The Omnissiah knows all, comprehends all.

''And establish an ideal, to which they are heading. --Anon

End Rant/file//>>

Another Magos adds:
There's definitely variation in the creed between forgeworlds and different cults-- even post Heresy, Mars is not unified-- but a lot of them operate on this sort of platonic/hermeticist logic. Regardless of whether they believe all knowledge already exists or that the disciplined mind can create new things, the religion is trying for union with some perfect being. Whether that's taken to mean "become a robot because the flesh is weak", "find salvation in logic", or even "cultivate the Omnissiah within you" (which would lead to radical differences in practice, from penitent cyberization cults to contemplative engineering orders, which we see in the many faces of the Mechanicum, [[Koriel Zeth]], Forgeworld Mezoa, the [[Myrmidon]] Orders, etc), it all leads back to a cautious quest to be the best you can be with logic as your guide.

===The Void Dragon===
A lot of their tech stuffs come from the Void Dragon that the Emperor bested and imprisoned on Mars ages ago as so humanity could gain mastery over machines. While it might have worked pretty well back when the Imperium wasn't the festering portaloo of a grimdark shitpit that it is today, it's pretty much a matter of time now. The Necrons already attempted to raid Mars - and succeeded, well, sort of. They got vaporized before they could really even do anything, but the fact that they managed to even land proved a point the High Lords of Terra had been turning a blind eye towards for ages.

If the T-800s get what they want and party on Mars long enough to wake the Void Dragon up, you can bet it's going to be a pretty goddamned bad day for just about any human not [[Feral World|wearing loincloths and still bashing rocks together]]. The few Mechanicus agents who have figured this out have either gone rogue, blammed or gone totally bonkers, ripping all the implants from their flesh. And when you're a member of the Mechanicus, that's about 80% of your body.

Of course, the even worse possibility is that the void dragon enjoys this situation, as every time the tech-priests remove their flesh and place more machine into it, they could be feeding him a fraction of their soul. As there are quite a few tech-priests out there, and humanity being the rabbits they are, this would give him a lifetime of souls to be eating, and a personal army that is very much willing. Ironically, given this, it could mean the Void Dragon might side with humanity as an endlessly increasing supply of soul-stuff. The Mechanicus gets its implants and technology and does not lose enough of their souls to not pass on when they die, the Void Dragon gets a bit of soul from each of them and their numbers endlessly increase with humanity's ever growing population. Everyone wins and, as we all know, Dragons are rather protective of their hoards....

By the way, the "Void" Dragon is actually only called "The Dragon" in the official fluff, probably as a reference to Metropolis. <s>But for God knows what unreasonable reason, /tg/ insists on calling him the "Void Dragon", thus confusing him with an Eldar aircraft, or with an Eldar pirate warband. Unless it's an obscure vidya reference. Whatever, maybe it just sounds cooler.</s> The [[Eldar]] refer to it as the "Void Dragon", and the aircraft and pirate warband take their names from it.

'''UPDATE:''' The new Codex: Necrons written by our [[Matt Ward|Spiritual Liege]] reveals the necrons are no longer enslaved by the C'tan, instead they are their sworn enemies for tricking them into giving up flesh, thus they were probably going to Mars to capture the Imperial held C'tan shard of the Void Dragon as they won't see humans reliable, or perhaps they were under control of another shard, and wanted to liberate it, oh whatever, for what we know it may have been [[Trazyn the Infinite|Trollzyn]] trying to loot Mars. Or, maybe they simply realize that having a C'tan that can control technology on a planet-sized machine-scape is a ''bad'' idea. It is unlikely that the Void Dragon would have been shattered, though. Because it is hard to do that to something with technology when that something has complete control over all technology. Yeah. Which, in hind-sight, might be part of the reason why the Necrons went into hibernation. Because when you are a living machine and you just pissed off something that controls machines... it is a good time to ''run away'' really fast.

The only thing that changes as a result of that is once the Void Dragon (shard or whole, who knows?) wakes up, it will be the only C'tan with ready access to an army, and a pretty damn huge one at that- so it's not only going to be a real bad day for the Imperium, but the Necrons as well.

'''UPDATE 2:''' And now it seems the World Engine of [[Astral Knights]] fame was supposed to be en route to Mars in order to allow his usurper Phaeron to get himself a new Void Dragon Pokémon, good thing he got sabotaged.

==Why Everything is so Grimdark==
''"The Mechanicus does NOT have the technology. They haven't been living on some fancy paradise planet since pre-Fall. Mars is an anarchic nightmare shithole the moment you leave the safe zones into the kilometers of labyrinthine corridors beneath it full of rogue machinery, self-aware and malevolent AI from before the Fall, and the daemon programs of the Heresy. EVERYTHING in the databases is fucked. The databases are fragmented over the entire surface to the extent that it would be impossible to see one tenth of the total files in the ludicrously extended life of a Magos even assuming that they are completely safe to visit. And they are not.

''The files have been corrupted into madness by the Fall, and the unleashing of the most potent informational warfare systems ever to exist to defeat the Iron Men. Nearly all of Mars was rendered uninhabitable, what they live in now is built on the top of the ruins. They send archeotech expeditions in to find shit, nearly all of them never come back. The sheer number of rogue war machine running around in there is sufficient to rape the mind. Then came the Heresy, which was not earth-exclusive. Mars as the second most critical planet in the Imperium was the site of fighting nearly as ferocious as on Terra, with Mechanicus loyalists and Hereteks fighting tooth, nail, and mechadendrite everywhere. Ancient machines were unleashed, viruses both normal and daemonic unleashed into all the computer systems. Towards the close of the Heresy, Rogal Dorn sent some Space Marine operatives to wipe the planet clean of all life. Nearly every single stored record on Mars was rendered unusable, and those that survived are half the time self-aware and don't like you, or daemonic and actively try to kill you.

''If you come back with a schematic, it is almost certainly gibberish, and if it isn't, it's probably corrupted into uselessness. If it does come back whole it was probably malevolently fucked with so that instead of a Lasgun power cell it's a fucking grenade set to detonate the second you finish building it. Why do you think they want off-world STCs so damned much if they had them all here? The fucking Heresy is why. Off-world they only have to contend with the Fall's war and its effects on the machinery plus twenty thousand years of degradation with no maintenance. But at least off-world it'll probably just not work instead of actively seeking to kill you.

''Why do you think they seek to placate the Machine Spirit? It's because it exists. The fragments of trillions of self-aware programs, flourishing during the Dark Age of Technology and shattered by Man in his war with the Iron men, imprisoning the few who had not set themselves irrevocably into the machinery, a prison smashed wide open by the Heresy. Everything that can hold programming in the Imperium has a shard of a program in it. EVERYTHING. And you'd better fucking please it or it will do everything in its power to make your day shit. Sure, if it's a Lasgun it'll just not work or start shooting off rounds by itself, but if you piss off a Land Raider you can say bye-bye to half a continent. They apply these principles to things without spirits by habit, since they're so used to dealing with tanks that if not talked to just right might go rogue and annihilate the Manufactorum before they can be killed.

''This is why they do not like ANYONE fucking with technology, because it is so rare to find anything that just works it is critical it not be compromised. That, and they do not have the actual knowledge to fuck with it intelligently, just through experimentation, which inevitably leads to slaughter. Pressing buttons to see what works is fine in a 21st century computer, but it is a very stupid thing to do at the helm of a 410th century starship with the destructive power to end solar systems. The entire knowledge base of humanity was lost. Not forgotten, but outright lost. Everything at all, poof. Nobody knows anything because the Fall fucked everything up and the Heresy double-fucked it. To rebuild the theoretical framework needed to design new technologies that don't kill everyone near them would require starting from the ground up. They don't have the time, they never have, and they never will.

''This gets on to the point of war and what it does to technology. Someone will parrot that it makes it go much faster. Yes, it makes practical applications of technology go much faster. It also utterly stops all research on the scientific theories behind those technologies. This means that when war chugs along for a decade or two things get done. It means when it goes on too long you run out of theories to turn into technologies, and then you run out of technologies to apply. You stagnate. When you have been fighting in a war for survival in a drastically overextended empire, this is what happens. You are desperate for any extra materiel that can possibly be produced. Half your entire fucking military might went rogue, smashed the half that stayed and a whole swathe of the logistical side of your society, leaving you with the tattered shreds of a war machine to keep hold of an empire that was reaching straining point with an army far larger. There is no time for the sort of applied research programs that took Man twenty five thousand years to develop, in a time of unprecedented growth and prosperity.

''This is also why the Adeptus Mechanicus insists on cargo cultism. It's because when you are dealing with things you barely understand because everything you knew about them was destroyed it is the safest and most reliable option. The rituals do not exists for mysticism, they exist because they are the most practical means of building, repairing and maintaining the equipment they have with the knowledge surviving. You don't understand why pressing that button makes it go, because the manual tried to take over your brain and the copies are all unreadable and the research base that would let you reverse-engineer it does not exist and cannot be built.

''Why are the Tau doing so well with their technology? Because they had peace. Eight thousand years unmolested by any enemy and they were helped the entire time by the most advanced biological race in the galaxy. Give the Imperium eight thousand years of peace and I can guarantee you it will be harder than it was during the Great Crusade.

''Since some still don't get the idea, try this:

''Build a library, fill it with all human knowledge. You take it elsewhere when you need a book from it, but the book is only a simplified copy. You don't understand the real book, and you don't need to. Nobody takes the real books anywhere because why would you, when there's a whole library there?

''Now that library goes rogue and the maintenance machinery starts killing everyone any-fucking-where near it. Where the fuck did they all come from, you swear to god there weren't this many, and there weren't because they're using the library's information to fight their war. The government fights a battle that destroys the planet against these robots and tears apart the library to stop them using it, only to be destroyed in the process. The library is leveled, cast into flames, every book burned and every computer virus-laden.

''Then comes a man who worked there. He talks to the few surviving library workers, assembles their information, and starts rebuilding a city around the library and expanding it as the librarians find little scraps of paper and fragmented bits of files that stuck together just right read something. They rebuild a library from scrap on the ashes of the old. It isn't a shadow on the glory of the old, but it is all they have.

''Then the city turns on itself, kills its master, and the librarians turn to rage. Half of them kill the other half and destroy the remnants of the library because where they're going they won't need science. Everything burns, and the city is left to a scattered few survivors, walls open to the world, with the hungry predators circling.

''The Adeptus Mechanicus is the sole surviving librarian, desperately scrabbling through the ashes of paper and splinters of hard drives for anything to help him and the city he needs to survive just a second longer.

''The Imperium isn't grim because things suck by choice and could be fine if a sensible person came along. That sensible person wouldn't survive fifty seconds of the reality. The Imperium is grim because every single shit decision, every single sacrifice, every single death, every single man woman and child suffering a shit life in the worst conditions imaginable, is the absolute best that can be done. It is a study of the worst happening to everyone and what part of your humanity must be sacrificed today just to stand a chance of survival, and all it asks is whether or not it would have perhaps been better to die."'' --Baron von Evilsatan

== On the Tabletop ==
''See also [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Adeptus_Mechanicus(8E)|AdMech 8E Tactics]]''

8th Edition has landed, and the AdMech are resurgent. Having Cult Mechanicus and Skitarii merged together into one list was good enough, but they also merged Imperial Knights as "Questor Mechanicus" -- AdMech aligned Imperial Knight houses. Imperial Armor: Fires of Cyraxus is coming out "real soon now" which will have AdMech vs Tau and promises a bunch of new stuff, as well.

The biggest change, outside of the Knights now being part of AdMech (which means they can be repaired~!) is the promotion of the Enginseer from Elite to HQ, allowing for a cheap HQ option if a tax is needed.

The Mechanicus received an entire army's worth of new plastic models and rulebook! Praise the Omnissiah!

At the moment, the Admech is divided into a number of different mini-factions. Currently, the [[Skitarii]] and the Cult Mechanicus army have been fully released. There is also the "Titan Guard" Secutarii on the way, but they're a Forge World army. The [[Legio Cybernetica]] is also part of the Adeptus Mechanicus, though aside from the Kastelan, they're [[Horus Heresy]] only. There's also the Taghmata, which are like feudal troops, but they're not as much of a thing in the lore of 40K (though they have a HH dex, see below).

The current releases include Skitarii, who are like if the Guard were badass technogrunge medievalpunk super-soldiers with access to all the good shit, spider-tanks, scout walkers that are basically the Sentinel if it was good, Servitors on tank treads that will wreck your shit, giant crazy-tough robots that will wreck your shit harder, and a plastic Magos HQ unit! Truly, venerate the Omnissiah, and He will provide. The Cult Mechanicus, meanwhile, consists mainly of half-naked tech-priests with a fetish for electricity and some battle servitors, including the aformentioned Kastelan. Tech-Priest Magos are also the only figures in modern 40k that carry [[Volkite]] weapons. The upcoming Titan Guard are divided into Peltasts and Hoplites, which are fitting descriptions as the former look to be ranged skirmishers, while the latter are heavily armored spearmen (the spears happen to shoot electricity).

== Notable Members ==
[[Archmagos]] [[Belisarius Cawl]]: Creator of the Primarines, their wargear, and Big G's current armor.

==Gallery==
{{Promotions}}
<gallery>
image:Adeptus_Mechanicus.jpg
Image:TechpriestChiyo.jpg|D'awwww.
Image:Mechanicuuuuus.jpg
Image:AdMech_Couple.jpg|D'awwww. By the way this is canon.
Image:CircleA_AdMech.jpg|PRAISE THE OMNISSIAH!
Image:rave_heretek_by_psykerscum.jpg|Someone got Chaos on my Mechanicus, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbAUwi4D3Ew now with theme music!]
image:1318818198286.gif.jpg|We're not sure if that's tech-heresy or an actual activation ritual. Ask your local Magos for clarification.
Image:Leokadia chernabog by mr culexus-d3hxqx2.jpg|showin' a little augmented leg
Image:AdMech Scientific Method.jpg|Science in the 41st Millennium.
Image:Madonna mechanicae by sexual yeti-daubney.jpg|TECHPRIESTESS TITTIES
</gallery>

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Adeptus_Mechanicus(8E)|Mechanicus Tactics.]] - [[Awesome|Yes, they have rules now.]]
*[[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Mechanicum_(30k)|Heresy Era Mechanicum Tactics.]] - 6th/early 7th edition rules. Very different from either of the 40k versions.
*[[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Mechanicum:_Taghmata_(30k)|Mechanicum: Taghmata (30k)]] - Current 7th edition rules. Still very different to the 40k versions.

==Links==
*The Adeptus Mechanicus are [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17PM-UMVud8 avid music lovers.]
*This is [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ecvLRxb3MU their theme] done by [[HMKids]].
*And one for [https://youtu.be/Jb8J1zx2Lrg the Machine Cult].

{{Mechanicus}}
{{Imperium}}
{{WH40k-Factions}}
{{Template:40k-Governments}}

Original character, do not steal

2018-02-23T10:12:50Z

2601:147:4200:6280:2450:6AB1:452C:5E62: /* Ongoing List of Original Characters; Do Not Steal */

{{Stub}}

[[Image:DrizztDoUrden.jpg|thumb|right|Original character, do not steal!]]
"'''Original character, do not steal'''" is a phrase often added after someone posts a character's picture/description/etc. It is a jab at the tendency of [[furry|furries]] and the likes inhabiting DeviantArt and other [[Star Wars D20|wretched hives of scum and villainy]] to include the same phrase (or variations to that effect) as a warning in their own <strike>horribly drawn pictures of</strike> traced and palette-swapped "[[Chris-Chan|original characters (Sonic the Hedgehog recolors)]]". The use of the phrase on /tg/ is generally simply to indicate that whatever character happens to be depicted is an original creation of the poster, and should not be construed to mean the poster actually cares if anyone copies it - indeed, it can be used to mean the exact opposite. It has also been used as a sarcastic phrase; mocking a character that is an obvious rip-off of another character despite (or because) the creator of that character treats them as original and ground-breaking.

At times, /tg/ may openly use this line mostly as a homage to something it loves. It may also be intentionally distilled down to "DONUT STEEL" for added satirical effect.

{|
|-
|[[Image:Kasane mono by vickthehedgie.png|400px]] <strike>Delicious Copypasta</strike> Obvious Troll
|-
| Above: An example of how an "Original Charactor" is made by simply using someone else's drawing, colouring it with MS Paint and calling it your own, the "Original" Character's design was traced from [[Weeaboo|Hatsune Miku]], one Google search later and you have Proof of <strike>Pudding</strike> Plagiarism.
|}

This is exceptionally common with the Sonic fandom and it's process is explained in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uGNIP4wVjc| this video]. [[Derp|Why do these people not realize their obvious theft?]]

[[Image:OTCDNS.jpg|thumb|left|Even SEGA got in on it after a while.]]

==Ongoing List of Original Characters; Do Not Steal==
* [[Chakat]]s in general. ''Chakona Space'', their home setting, is a giant ripoff of Star Trek.
* [[Chris-Chan|Sonichu]], Chris-Chan's infamous Sonic/Pikachu hybrid and also someone who has actually ''said'' "Original Character, Do Not Steal" on several occasions.
* [[Astraeus Super-Heavy Tank]], not a character per say but follows a similar principle due to it's uncanny resemblance to the Mammoth Tank from [[Command and Conquer]]. As you can tell, originality is not among the Imperium's many tal{{BLAM}} {{BLAM|Heresy!}}. To be fair Games Workshop is not the only company to ripoff the Mammaoth. As the M850 from Halo Wars did so first. Before the series went to shit under 343i.

[[Category:Meme]]

Metal Gear

2018-02-23T08:44:00Z

2601:147:4200:6280:2450:6AB1:452C:5E62: /* Metal Gear Survive */

[[File: MSG Title.jpeg|thumb|right|Metal Gear Solid title]]
{{Skub}}
{{Template:/vg/}}
{{Spoilers}}
If you're here on the Internet and have ''not'' heard of Metal Gear or Metal Gear Solid, you're obviously pretty new or just straight up ignorant... But for the sake [[/tg/]] and everyone, we'll help.

Metal Gear and the subsequent games coming after it are action-adventure stealth games starting in 1987. While Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2 on the <strike>EN EE ESS</strike> EM ES EX TWO were well-received and iconic, it was Metal Gear Solid in 1998 on the PEE ESS JUAN that changed not only the franchise but third-person shooters in general and practically being the herald of stealth games. Though each game has a different story, it typically follows the supersoldier agent Solid Snake or Big Boss during the 21st century and the Cold War as he infiltrates something, destroys whatever's inside, and is a badass while doing it. We would explain more of the story here but honestly it gets stupidly complicated with government conspiracies, clones, ghosts, [[meme|sudden but inevitable betrayals]], and many more. While somewhat grounded in reality it has a very obvious sci-fi feel to it, similar to [[BattleTech]], [[Shadowrun]], and in some ways [[Warhammer 40,000|Warhammer 40K]]. Bedsides it's well crafted game play and sometimes uneven plot, Metal Gear is mainly known for it's [[memes]].

==Metal Gear and /tg/==
Like much of the Internet and 4chan, /tg/ has a pretty distinct love for Metal Gear. We've had several quest threads following the Metal Gear universe, most notably [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Metal%20Gear:%20Rise%20from%20Ashes%20Quest| Rise from Ashes] and [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Revengeance%20Quest| Revengeance Quest]. While there's not a definitive homebrew for it, there's limitless potential and [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38662709/| that certainly hasn't stopped us from trying].

[[Metal Gear Vindicare]] is a pretty obvious /tg/-MSG relation, being inspired by the famous codec used by Solid Snake in the game. Centers around [[Love Can Bloom]] with <s>[[Doomrider]] as a special guest.</s> '''DO COCAAAAIIIINNE!'''

A lot of things about Metal Gear correlate with the interests of fa/tg/uys. Despite what most people think, /tg/ loves their [[tau|giant]] [[Adeptus Evangelion|robots]], which Metal Gear Solid has in spades. There's also a good enough amount of both [[grimdark]] and [[Orks|hilarious stupidity]] to keep a wide variety of neckbeards entertained.

==Characters==
===Solid Snake===
[[File: Solid Snake codec.png|thumb|left|I ''am'' happy]]
The protagonist for most of the games. He starts out his career in Metal Gear as a rookie FOXHOUND agent, uncovering the existence of the Metal Gear and the double-crossing of his superior, Big Boss. He later discovers that he's actually the clone-son of Big Boss, created for reasons that change from game to game. Snake spends the rest of the games fighting Big Bosses' other clones as well as uncovering the grand conspiracy his father had been retconned into fighting, while people talk about how hard the life that he chooses to live is even though it's his own fucking choice. He finally ends his career in Metal Gear Solid 4, his clone-genes rapidly degenerating and near the end of his life (by the time he's in his mid-thirties he's in his late sixties biologically, complete with heart problems and seizures). But he doesn't get to die before finally making amends with his father in a rather hilarious moment where Big Boss is convinced that unless he kills a really old man who was essentially a vegetable the whole series could happen again. In terms of personality there's not much to say, besides him wanting to lead huskies in the Iditarod if he were to ever retire.

===Big Boss===
[[File:Big Boss Salute.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|Good night, sweet prince.]]
Basically [[General Sturnn]]. But with an eye-patch. [[Farsight]] seems to take a lot of inspiration from him too.

While initially portrayed as the villain due to how much he loved war so he could get child soldiers to train into regular soldiers, one could argue whether or not his actions were justified given the later retcon of the Patriots existence (and then they'd remember that whole child soldier bit). Big Boss stars as the protagonist of all the Metal Gear games before Solid begins his career, dating back to the 1960s when he was known as Naked Snake (get it?). Naked Snake discovers the progenitor of Metal Gear in Soviet Russia while also being "betrayed" by his former leader, The Boss. After an arms deal goes wrong, he chooses to kill her to cover up America's involvement, which leaves a lasting impact for the rest of his life and was betrayed by his love interest, EVA, because nobody on the team realized that the agent he was supposed to meet (a man) was actually replaced by EVA (a woman). He decides to abandon the United States (even though patriotism was the theme of the previous game) and create his own military group "Militaires Sans Frontieres," the very mercenary group to have ever existed in the MGS world, later called "Diamond Dogs," while fighting his own shadow war against former comrade Zero who turned evil offscreen and is the founder of the Patriots (also happens offscreen). After fighting a number of early Metal Gear models, Big Boss began building a few Metal Gears of his own to try and even the odds. During a battle against one of the Patriots' splinter groups, Cypher, Big Boss pussies out and decides "Fuck this war, somebody else can deal with this shit" and leaves a body double, Venom Snake, to become the public face of his PMC while he fucked off to who knows where. Originally Big Boss fought Solid Snake in MG1 and died, this was retconned in MG2 where they said he didn't die, just had lots of his body replaced with machinery, and retconned into Venom Snake died instead in MG1, while Big Boss entered into a coma after MG2 until he was revived just after the patriots were defeated (nobody bothered to check to make sure he was dead).
He can also bench press 200 simi odd ton tanks and recharge batteries by eating glowing mushrooms for [[Orks| some reason.]]

===Gray Fox===
Initially just an NPC with some backstory as FOXHOUND's best soldier. In Metal Gear 2 he's retconned as Solid Snake's best friend in Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake.([[Fail| To differentiate it from the load of fail that was Metal Gear 2 on the NES]]) Mid-way into the game in he is revealed as the second in command of Zanzibar Land under Big Boss & the pilot of the first real Metal Gear battle and first of the melee only boss battles, with [[Mekboy | land minds surrounding boss arena]]. Because the AI was shit (and he isn't the player character) he loses to Snake. He also kills his girlfriend accidentally in one of the most heavily foreshadowed scenes of all time.
In Metal Gear Solid he comes back as the first [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Cyborg Ninja]] as a tutorial battle for the game's melee system. [[Railroading| In short telling the player how to beat him.]] His final act is damaging Metal Gear Rex with some kind of [[Skub|laser or plasma weapon]] that he didn't have in previous appearances before being squished by Metal Gear. So Snake can finally defeat Rex with his Stinger Missiles. Also appears in a prequel game of [[C.S. Goto|questionable canon]].
Later on his backstory was expanded a little more, and it was revealed that he was a child soldier fighting in an area well known for their child soldiers, and he was able to amass a large kill-streak because none of his enemies thought that child soldiers existed, [[Fail|in an area full of them.]]
His ability to lower the intelligence of everyone he met impressed the CIA, who decided to make him into the perfect soldier, unfortunately this ability affected the CIA too and they assumed that wiping all of his memories, including the memory of any martial art he knew or fought against, would make him a better fighter.
He also later murdered the parents of Naomi, then chose to adopt her, because why not? Naomi is also the person who turns him into a cyborg and then lets him loose, knowing full well that he'll want another rematch against Snake, and knowing full well that if Snake failed to complete the mission a Nuke could be launched against the US, though luckily assisting in the act of nuclear terrorism only gets you a verbal reprimand, so she gets away just fine.

===Liquid Snake===
[[File:Brother Liquid.png|thumb|right|Liquid quite literally most of the time.]]
The antagonist of Metal Gear Solid and Snake's clone brother. Liquid has a distinctly British accent and blond hair. According to the game's very loose grasp of genetics, Liquid inherited all the recessive genes of Big Boss, while Snake inherited all the dominant genes, and because of this he believed he was made from "inferior genes" and that's the reason he's evil. No seriously, the entire reason he's evil is because he doesn't like how he looks, and thus becomes Doctor Doom. Even as a child, he was a surprisingly competent soldier, giving Venom Snake (who he believed was his father Big Boss) a lot of headaches when he started acting out, he also murdered kids and stole the Metal Gear Venom Snake had before vanishing in a cliffhanger that never got resolved in the main series (you'll have to look to youtube to see what they wanted to do). Liquid would have died from Skull Face's parasite had he not become BFFs with his future comrade, Psycho Mantis who had the ability to do pretty much everything, and was retconned into being possessed by Liquid since Psycho Mantis now gets possessed by non-Psychic people, even though he's wearing his mask which was designed to stop peoples thoughts from entering his head. Liquid has massive Daddy issues (the aforementioned genes) and is incredibly stupid, which lead him to rebel against the US government and seize Metal Gear REX for himself. He also really hates Snake for the same aforementioned gene issue, possessing a really intense inferiority complex and needing to constantly prove himself. Also turned Gray Fox into a blood puddle, because can't aim a [[fail|laser for crap]]. Snake fights him several times, including shooting down his helicopter and Metal Gear Rex, but the bastard JUST. WON'T. DIE. Of course he finally does die from an engineered virus... sort of. "Liquid" takes possession of Ocelot but this was retconned out later so it doesn't matter.

===Ocelot===
A Russian gunslinger and a guy with a LOT of mixed loyalties that make no sense when you think about it. Formerly a member of GRU (the Soviet Military's version of the civilian KGB) and a secret agent for the USA, Ocelot joined with Big Boss (due to wanting to fuck him), helping him in secret despite nominally being a member of the Patriots (and later deciding to destroy them). Ocelot joined Liquid's rebellion, but only to act as the Patriot's inside man and steal the plans for Metal Gear REX, even though as the governing intelligence they would already have had them. He also manages to steal Metal Gear RAY, but at this point he starts acting out his secret plan to destroy the Patriots from within. How does he do this? Well....

# [[What|Pretend to be possessed by the ghost of Liquid]] and steal Metal Gear RAY which was later retconned into him using hypnosis to make himself think he's Liquid, which gives him all of Liquid's personalities and skills, because that's what happens in this universe (it's how Big Boss made his body double too).
# Use one of the Patriots' AI to infiltrate their system and take effective control over their military assets, because AI who know that the new AI will be under Liquid's control will just hand it to him and wait to die.
# When the patriots send Snake after him, put up a convincing show of resistance by attempting to kill him multiple times.
# Steal the railgun off of Metal Gear REX and aim it at the Patriots' main satellite, which is still armed with a live nuke because nobody in the government told their successors about the nuke, because written logs don't exist in this world, everything is passed down through word of mouth, and the patriots forgot that the nuke was there too.
# Hope that Snake is still alive at this point and that he's developed the worm necessary to kill the Patriots AI, which Liquid could have done at any time so he wouldn't have had to worry about all the earlier bullshit.
# Fistfight him bare-chested until you die of exhaustion.
# ???
# Profit!
Yeah... when we talk about how convoluted the story is, it's usually Ocelot's fault. Still, for an elderly old bastard, he's pretty damn badass. Dude can also pull off some [[/co/|Taskmaster]] level shit and bite CQC moves from his opponents. He's also the third canon cyborg via replacing Liquid's Arm with a prosthetic and [[What|dented his own ship with it.]]

Also, he has a [[Slaanesh| torture fetish]] and is a [[Furry|furry old fuck.]]

===Otacon===
The [[weeaboo]] of the series. We're not exaggerating, by the way. He wanted to work on Metal Gear REX specifically because he's obsessed with [[anime]]. Otacon is your typical nerdy support character, giving Snake technical assistance in his fight against the Metal Gears and is the only reason REX was able to be defeated because he intentionally developed it with an exploitable weak spot that would have made it a hindrance against on the battlefield. This carries over to the next several games where he'll design something far inferior to what already existed, only to let you use that better thing later on anyway. He's also a quite literally hopeless romantic, as his two romantic interests ended up dying. Though to be honest, the first was a terrorist who showed no real interest in him, and the second was Naomi, who upon realizing she had cancer that wasn't doing a fucking thing because she stopped it with nanomachines, decided to commit suicide. Also we learn that his dad committed suicide because he had sex with his stepmom. Yeah.

===Huey===
Otacon's dad. Despite having the same general appearance, voice actor, and role as Otacon, Huey deserves special mention for how much of a [[that guy|cock]] he is and how despite all his faults, Otacon is infinitely more tolerable. So, he's a paraplegic engineer who got drafted by the CIA into helping to build Peace Walker, not realizing how insane the project really is (this is a persistent theme for him). After being rescued by Big Boss, Huey works for him and develops Metal Gear ZEKE as a counter to the various AI weapons the CIA had built. He also ended up marrying his design partner, the heavily-implied-to-have-had-a-lesbian-crush-on-The-Boss Dr. Strangelove, with whom they had a son named Hal (aka Otacon). Now, here's where the dark shit settles in: <s> after getting tricked by Cipher into letting them onto Mother Base to destroy it </s> after selling out Big Boss and MSF to Cipher, Huey gets abducted and is forced to work on a new Metal Gear, Sahelanthropus. Because the cockpit can't fit a full-sized human, he tries to get his son Hal to pilot it. Strangelove vehemently opposes this, so he ends up stuffing her inside an AI pod to suffocate. After getting recaptured by Big Boss, he insists that he never betrayed him and that he wasn't willingly working for Cipher. But after Big Boss succeeds in defeating Skull Face, Huey steals the vocal chord parasite and makes it more deadly by making it immune to its original antidote in an attempt to sell it to Cipher for protection, even having the gall to call Big Boss a murderer for mercy-killing the men Huey infected. Naturally, this pisses off Big Boss, so he sends him adrift on a tiny life raft. Huey lives out the rest of his days being a bad parent, eventually drowning himself (and nearly drowning his stepdaughter) when he found out Hal had sex with his new wife. After learning all that, one can only imagine how badly Hal was treated and feel some genuine pity for him.

===Meryl===
Colonel Roy Campbell's daughter (he told everyone she was his niece because he didn't want them to know her mother had an affair with him) and the only FOXHOUND agent to not join Liquid's rebellion. She starts out as a rookie way in over her head, but she helps out Snake by providing him with useful information. Snake also starts to develop a romantic interest in her after all the shit they go through, and then dumps her to go hunt Metal Gears because Snake decided that Metal Gears shouldn't exist, a plan which was doomed to failure since their design was on the internet and literally everyone could download it. In Metal Gear Solid, depending on whether Snake submits to Ocelot's torture, Meryl lives or dies at the end of the game. This is later retconned in Metal Gear Solid 4, where she lives but also learns the truth that she's Roy's daughter, not his niece, which pisses her off. Meryl becomes the commander of her own unit which she names after the group who tried to kill her, and decides that because at this point Snake's turned into a crusty old fart, she's going to marry her perpetually incontinent subordinate stalker (he saw her once and was then pining for her years after the fact), who's also a weeaboo.

===Raiden===
He's introduced as the "true" protagonist of Metal Gear Solid 2, but his original appearance is nowhere near as badass as Snake. He's a [[Fulgrim|white-haired effeminate Bishie]] that tends to rile up most people who loathe anime stereotypes. Raiden starts out as a Child Soldier in Africa (despite being whiter than white-out) before being taken in by the Patriots as their successor to Solid Snake. He's lived nearly his entire life in simulations and being fucked over by AIs. Once he's actually let out into the real world to stop Solidus and his terror cell, he meets Snake, and together they discover the existence of the Patriots.

Raiden gets a significant upgrade after MGS2, where he gets kidnapped by the Patriots and has his entire body below his upper jaw cut off and replaced by a cyborg ninja body (akin to a reverse [[Ferrus Manus]]). Everyone agrees that his version of Raiden is much better, and he ends up starring in the spin-off game Metal Gear Rising, where he uses his sword and ninja athleticism to fight other cyborgs and a regular human who was stronger than him due to having [[Flash Gitz| a better weapon, Power Armor]] and skills. In the Metal Gear verse your top of the line upgrades are [[Games Workshop|barely useful in less than four years]].

===Solidus===
The last of Big Bosses' clones, Solidus was much more under the control of the Patriots, sometimes. He spent some time fighting in Africa, where he picked up an orphaned Raiden and turned him into a pawn of the Patriots. While he was eventually made President, this really didn't count for much as the Patriots still made all the decisions and he was basically a puppet. Solidus decides that he's had enough of this shit and steals the Patriots' new warship, Arsenal Gear, and decides to take the fight directly to them. Of course, this didn't end well for him when Snake and Raiden interfere and the ship crashes into Manhattan. He gets killed by Raiden, sort of-not really as nobody bothered to check the body (falling into a coma instead of dying), but his body ends up being a macguffin because his DNA is an exact match to Big Boss, allowing Ocelot to hack into the Patriots network, because even though the Patriots know what's happening and could stop it they let it happen anyway.

===The Patriots===
Also known as "Cipher", or "La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo" if you're under their direct control since they decided the best way to hide their name is telling everyone that they can't say their name. Financed by the inheritance of the 20th Century's wealthiest men, the Patriots control literally everything. Originally this was a group formed by Big Boss, Zero, Sigint, Para-Medic, Ocelot, and Eva in order to fulfill The Boss' wishes of uniting the world and ending the Cold War since the entire series is based around people wanting to do what The Boss wanted to do, despite most of them having minimal attachment to the boss at best. However, this group split in half over differences on how to fulfill this vision. Zero wanted to control the entire world and all facets of human life through all-knowing AIs, while Big Boss wanted to create "Outer Heaven," a place where soldiers would always belong and not be the puppets of governments (because having people always ready to fight would obviously mean everyone becomes peaceful and happy). When Zero went comatose, the group was taken over for a short time by Skull Face, the guy responsible for cleaning up the mess in MGS3 even though there wasn't anyone like that originally (retcon) and the location should have made it impossible. He wanted to fulfill the Boss' vision by eliminating language itself using a language-based parasite because he believed that a persons personality and way of thinking had everything to do with the language they spoke (he was also retarded). Eventually the Patriots was controlled by Five AIs: JD, GW, TJ, AL, & TR (John Doe, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and Theodore Roosevelt respectively) who had no self preservation whatsoever. These AIs decided that the best thing to unite the world was to plunge it into perpetual conflict and proxy wars, bringing together the worst of Zero's and Big Boss' visions and directly working against everything the series said they were working towards. The Patriots AI were killed off when Snake unwittingly uploaded a worm that killed all of them, finally freeing the world from their influence.

==Types of Metal Gears==
If the title of the game didn't hint at it enough, a prominent part of the game(s) are these giant mechs called (you guessed it) Metal Gears. In the beginning they're simply mobile platforms to launch nuclear weapons, but they evolve to fulfill many other roles and become far more dangerous in general.

'''Shagohod''': Technically not a Metal Gear, but created the precedent for mobile nuclear platforms. This crazy contraption was basically a giant armored hovercraft (Move Trough Cover) that would rocket-boost (one-turn Fast Tank) in order to give its nuclear payload an extra boost and was designed to launch nukes from any surface, giving the Soviet Union the edge in the Cold War. Of course the whole point of the Cold War was that both sides were fucked if ANY nukes were launched so it became pointless before it was built. It also had point-defenses up the wazzoo.

'''Metal Gear RAXA''': The first proper Metal Gear ever built. A four-legged Metal Gear that could be launched from a ICBM. If you're asking why in the fuck they have to use a Metal Gear as a middleman nuclear platform when they're already launching it from an ICBM, supposedly it's because the missiles are harder to intercept on the Metal Gear than on the ICBM... but who's to say they can't intercept the ICBM carrying the Metal Gear?

'''Peace Walker''': A four-legged walker that was fully AI controlled. It's described as having a stealth frame, but it wouldn't exactly be hard to spot considering the size of the thing. It could only fire nukes defensively, but could be tricked into launching a premature attack through a plot that understood little to nothing of mutually assured destruction.

'''Metal Gear ZEKE''': Big Boss' first attempt at a Metal Gear, this one was fully bipedal. Originally it was AI controlled too, but was modified to use a human pilot when Cypher attempted to steal it, the modifications being completed in days or minutes depending on when you last checked it, and nobody guarding it thought that it was a good idea to stop the modifications that weren't supposed to happen, and the two people doing them would never have been able to make them in the first place. This metal gear was also customizable and could be sent out on combat missions alongside MSF soldiers.

'''Sahelanthropus''': This one was designed by Otacon's Dad, Huey. While technically more advanced than Metal Gear REX in that it could walk upright, one flaw was that the cockpit was too small for a full-sized human. Cypher got around this by using Pyscho Mantis to control it psychically, because in Phantom Pain Psycho Mantis could do whatever he wanted, which makes you question why they need robots when they already have control over a superhuman. Sahelanthropus is also the absolute proof of why Metal Gears are useless (as if Metal Gear: Rising didn't already do that), despite costing millions to make and countless resources, it's easily defeated by a man on a man-sized robot that would have cost a fraction of the resources to develop, and if it didn't have the ability to create clouds that destroyed metal, it could have been easily defeated by one tank.

'''TX-55''': The Metal Gear that appears in the first game (which is now chronologically not the first one). This model didn't have that many frills, it was simply a robot that could fire nukes. It does nothing while Snake just uses C4 to blow it up and dodges the [[Rage|annoying laser cameras]]. Presumably it's the most durable one because the only way to hurt it is to use a shitload of C4 on its legs in a certain order, because that's how explosives work.

'''Metal Gear D''': The first real Metal Gear the player ever fights in the release order. An upgraded version of TX-55. It only had a machine guns and missiles during it's boss battle. It's sprite makes it look as if could launch [[Anal_circumference|six nukes one after another]].

'''Metal Gear REX''': This dinosaur-looking motherfucker takes the original Metal Gear concept one step further by firing nukes from a [[Tau|railgun]] instead of a ballistic missile, making nukes nearly impossible to track (though it was never designed to do so, it just happened to work out that way). It also had a badass assortment of weaponry, from Gatling Guns to crotch lasers and a crap-ton of missiles. Liquid only uses the anti tank missiles. Even after Snake battled it in MGS1, it was still tough enough to take on RAY in MGS4. After MGS1, hundreds of REX knockoffs started spreading throughout the world thanks to Ocelot's douchebaggery.

'''Metal Gear RAY''': Designed to be the ultimate anti-Metal Gear weapon, RAY failed fucking hard in that regard. It's amphibious by design, and instead of carrying nukes, its weapons include a powerful water cannon that can cut metal. Despite being built specifically to fight Metal Gears, it still loses in a fight against an already damaged Metal Gear REX. For some reason Ocelot never uses the laser or the missile spam attack seen in Metal Gear Solid 2 when he pilots the manned version in MGS4. Still not a cake walk though since you need too spam the fire button instead of holding it down to make this fight easier. Since Metal Gear battles that are not the first boss hardly ever are.
The others seen in MGS2 and Rising are unmanned knockoffs.

'''Metal Gear RAY MOD0''': An upgrade over RAY seen in Metal Gear Rising. With the rise of carbon nano-tube tech; the armor was made lighter and stronger, allowing it to carry more weapons. Upgrades include: 4 limb-mounted twin-linked gatling guns, micro and macro missile launchers, an HF arm blade roughly the size of a small building, and a mouth-mounted plasma cannon. Despite all this, every last one of these guys encountered were destroyed by some Rhodesian weeaboo ninja with a sharp stick and a smart-talking Brazilian samurai with an incomprehensibly powerful sword and fighting technique.

'''Metal Gear EXCELSUS''': Not really a Metal Gear, it was only named so for marketing reasons, but still impractically awesome either way. Seen only in Metal Gear Rising; EXCELSUS was meant as an anti-cyborg gear, because cyborgs were becoming too powerful for conventional warfare. Due to this, people thought the only counter to this was to go back to making giant mechs with impractically large and powerful weapons (under the logic that if you can't outmanuver them; outgun them). EXCELSUS is basically a scorpion-shaped mech roughly as tall and wide a sports stadium and armed with two giant HF blades and twin plasma cannons. Its destroyed by Raiden in the most hilariously over-the-top way possible; he bodyslams it to the ground, rips one of it's arm blades off, and engages it in an arm-wrestling match with one of it's severed arms.

'''Gekko''': Quite possibly the dumbest looking mechs in science fiction, the Gekkos are small Metal Gears made up of a combination of synthetic organic muscle and mechanical technology. They have the head/upper body of a REX, but they have a pair of lizard legs to walk around on. You'd think that those legs would be easy pickings for bullets, but actually they won't buckle for anything less than explosives. They also allow the GEKKO to jump really high, climb on walls, and sweep kick you, so good luck running away from them. They also moo like cows and take shits. Seriously. We're not fucking joking.

==Plot==
===Metal Gear ===
The original NES port of Metal was a load of [[fail]]. Proving that even thirty years ago PC gaming is superior to consoles. Seriously some of the maps are removed and a few of the boss battles have been changed. It also takes out Big Boss's [[Troll|importance to the original plot.]] Reading about Phantom Pain first will be spoilers for this game so be warned.

===Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake===
Subtitle included because the original non-canon Metal Gear 2 NES is a run and gun shooter with a story that [[Spiritual_liege| makes less sense then usual]].

===Metal Gear Solid===
Snake's decided to retire from the spy business after having to kill his father <s>twice</s> once (first one was actually Venom Snake) to live out his dream of training racing huskies in the Alaskan wilderness. But Colonel Campbell comes knocking at his door, telling him that FOXHOUND's turned traitor and have taken a nuclear disposal facility hostage. After getting some weird shots from Dr. Naomi Hunter, he gets his SCUBA on and sneaks into the base. There he quickly discovers that the leader of the rebellion is Liquid Snake, Solid Snake's clone brother with a massive hate-boner for both their father and himself. The other FOXHOUND members include Revolver Ocelot, Decoy Octopus, Vulcan Raven, Sniper Wolf, and Psycho Mantis; the only FOXHOUND agent who didn't join the rebellion was Campbell's niece Meryl. After sneaking around the base trying to rescue the hostages, both Darpa Chief Donald Anderson (Sigint in MGS3) and Armstech President Kenneth Baker die suddenly of a heart attack mid-conversation. Snake later learns that the shot he received earlier was actually the FOXDIE virus, a genome-specific disease that kills specific individuals (and that the Darpa Chief was actually Decoy Octopus, whereas the real one had already died from torture). Furthermore, the nuclear disposal facility is actually a secret testing ground for the newest Metal Gear model, Metal Gear REX.

Snake tracks down REX's designer, Otacon, just as he's been cornered by a creepy cyborg ninja. Said ninja is actually Gray Fox, Snake's old BFF who's gone completely mental. (Naomi later reveals that she's not only Gray Fox's sister and wants to kill Snake for what he did to him, but also modified FOXDIE so that he'll be targeted as well at a random time... except wouldn't he already have been a target since he and Liquid have the exact same genome? Kojima just doesn't understand genetics at all.) After fighting him off, Otacon helps out Snake in finding out how to stop the terrorists from using REX's stealth nuke capabilities. Snake also meets up with Meryl, who gives him the PAL card needed to disarm Metal Gear REX. After fighting Psycho Mantis (Who has a memorable boss fight in which he literally blanks the entire screen and forces you to change controllers) and Vulcan Raven, Snake is captured by Sniper Wolf after she shoots Meryl, while Ocelot tortures Snake. Here, if Snake submits to the torture, Meryl dies at the end, otherwise she survives. Anyway, with Otacon's help, Snake is able to escape captivity, destroys Liquid's helicopter, defeats Sniper Wolf, and sneaks into Rex's lair. After defeating Vulcan Raven a second time, Snake finally reaches REX itself, figuring out that the system requires three key cards to disarm even though he only has the one. However, Otacon tells him that [[what|he already has all three key cards]] because its designed to change shape with temperature. So after traipsing around in the lair he disarms REX... [[fail|except that it was all a ruse and he ended up arming it instead]]. Liquid takes control of REX and challenges Snake to a fight. Luckily Gray Fox intervenes and helps to expose REX's cockpit, allowing Snake to shoot at liquid directly. Que a fistfight atop Rex, followed by the sudden reveal that the Secretary of State is going to bomb the whole island to cover the entire incident up, followed by a high-speed chase in which Liquid attempts to kill Snake one last time. Finally Liquid succumbs to FOXDIE while Snake and Otacon or Meryl walk away with him into the rising sun.

Que one final cutscene in which Ocelot is revealed to have survived, and has stolen the plans for Metal Gear REX, under orders of President Solidus Snake.

===Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty===
Hoo boy, this is where the series starts getting weird. After the events of MGS, Snake and Otacon form an NGO that tracks and monitors the proliferation of Metal Gear platforms around the world. When Otacon gets a tip that the US Marine Corps has a new super Metal Gear designed specifically to fight other MGs, Snake sneaks onboard the oil tanker it's hidden in to get proof. A Russian mercenary company also boards the ship, killing the Marines on patrol and making Snake's job just that much harder. Snake incapacitates the mercs' field commander and finds Metal Gear RAY in the deep holds of the ship. He also finds Revolver Ocelot, who declares that he's "taking it back" for the Patriots, kills the Marine commandant, and takes RAY, sinking the ship in the process. Snake is presumed killed in action.

Two years later, a terrorist group called "the Sons of Liberty" take over the Big Shell cleanup rig at the site of the tanker's sinking and take hostages, including the President of the United States. FOXHOUND sends in a covert operative to rescue the hostages and take out the Sons of Liberty, whose leader claims to be Solid Snake. The operative, code named "Raiden," gets jerked around by his handler Colonel Campbell, his data analyst and girlfriend Rosemary, and a SEAL Team 10 survivor named Iroquois Plisken (Solid Snake in a totally unconvincing disguise) as they track down the Sons of Liberty, disarm explosives, and have long, rambling conversations on the nature of free will.

The events of this operation play out suspiciously like the events of the Shadow Moses operation in the previous game, culminating in the reveal that the whole thing was an attempt by the Patriots to replicate the circumstances that led to Solid Snake's transformation into one of the most effective operators in the world, using Raiden as a test subject. Ocelot got an arm transplant with Liquid Snake as the donor, and now Liquid's ghost can possess him. The Sons of Liberty were pawns, despite "Solid Snake" (actually Solidus, the third Snake) thinking he was rebelling against them by doing this. Dead Cell, the US Navy anti-terror unit created by President Sears (again, actually Solidus) to test military security, was used as a stand-in for the rogue FOXHOUND operatives from Shadow Moses, the Patriots liquidating them in order to drive them into Solidus's arms. Dead Cell member Fortune's entire misfortunate history (losing her father, husband, and unborn child) was engineered by the Patriots. The mysterious cyborg that's helping Raiden is Olga Gurlukovich, the Russian merc commander forced to work for the Patriots lest they kill the daughter they stole from her. The President was a willing participant in the entire charade because he wanted the power that being part of the Patriots could offer. The Big Shell is a cover for the construction of Arsenal Gear, an aircraft carrier-sized platform for monitoring and censoring Internet traffic and protected by two dozen RAY drones. The oil spill was created by the Patriots to justify the construction of Big Shell (remember the conspicuous lack of any oil in the tanker).

And then the narrative goes totally off the rails. Otacon's sister Emma, rescued by Raiden and then killed by Dead Cell operative Vamp, delivers a computer worm that Otacon uses to infect Arsenal Gear, then Snake sucker punches Raiden to get him brought into Arsenal. The Colonel starts going berserk, calling Raiden with nonsense and gibberish. Snake finds Raiden's gear, gives it back, and also gives him a high-frequency sword that becomes his signature weapon henceforth. Battling to the core of Arsenal, Raiden fights its entire complement of RAYs with a Stinger missile system. Solidus, the Patriots, and "Liquid" Ocelot all reveal their goals: to hunt down the Patriots, to control global information context, and to find and destroy the Patriots, respectively. Arsenal Gear crashes into the Lower West Side of Manhattan, and Solidus and Raiden fight on the roof of Federal Hall.

With Solidus dead, Raiden and Snake figure out what to do next. Snake and Otacon plan to mine the worm's code for information on the Patriots while Raiden reunites with Rose (who is totally real and not living in Canada), finally remembering why April 30th is so important to her: it was the day they first met.

===Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater===
Chronologically the first game in the series, MGS3 is pretty much a Fix Fic for the [[C.S. Goto|half assed story of MGS2]]. Force Operation X drops one of their operatives, Naked Snake, into Soviet territory to help scientist Nikolai Stepanovich Sokolov defect. Again (Major Zero of FOX had to give him back to the Soviets to end the Cuban Missile Crisis just days after crossing the Berlin Wall). Just as Snake is leaving with Sokolov, they are surrounded by KGB agents. Ocelot, a young major in GRU, arrives, kills the KGB agents with a dazzling display of gunplay, and then gets his ass handed to him by Snake. A sporting chap, Snake offers Ocelot tips on his gun handling before Ocelot passes out. Before they can leave, The Boss arrives in the AO, declaring her own defection to the Soviet Union. This is later revealed to be a ploy, though it should have been obvious to anyone with a brain that it was a ruse since the government told you she was on a nuclear sub and if her defection really was legit then they wouldn't have known where she was. If this was legit, this also means that they would have lost sight of not only the greatest soldier in the world, but her entire unit. She breaks Snake's arm for no reason other than to be an asshole and throws him off a rope bridge. Colonel Volgin of GRU uses an M388 Davey Crockett, given to him by The Boss, to destroy Sokolov's design bureau, thus ending the Cold War, as this is now an American nuke brought into Russia by an American and fired by a defector. Everyone still calls it the Cold War anyway because this plot point is forgotten almost immediately once the intro is over.

In order to stop a full-scale war, America has to prove to Russia that they were not behind the attack on OKB-752, a plan doomed to failure because they obviously were and it's revealed in the end that they definitely were. Major Zero is forced to send Snake back into action with only two weeks to heal, his new mission: rescue Sokolov, kill The Boss (for some reason), her team (the Cobra Unit), and Colonel Volgin, and destroy Volgin's pet project, the Shagohod. In exchange, the Soviets will provide access to a communication satellite and two spies, NSA defectors codenamed ADAM and EVA.

Snake is inserted into the area of operation again, but The Boss finds him and destroys his weapon and insertion vehicle because she's an asshole who likes working directly against her main objective, alerting the Russian ground forces to his presence. Snake meets a woman who claims she's EVA, even though she doesn't provide the counter-phrase "La Li Lu Le Lo" to Snake's question "Who are the Patriots?" Which should have told not only him but everyone involved that she wasn't who she said she was, and nobody read EVA's file which would have told them EVA was a man, either that or the NSA doesn't know if their agents are male or female and also doesn't bother writing their names down or taking their picture. Strangely Snake received a full file on this EVA before he met her (as some of it shows up in the radio menu) however he neglects to read the part where it says she was a Chinese spy, because we need some retarded plot twist at the end of the game for a 'Gotcha!' Moment. The two end up fighting the Ocelot Unit and humiliating Major Ocelot once again, even though Ocelot is ADAM and it's in his best interest to work with Snake (somehow nobody remembered he was a NSA defector the first time you met him) and nobody mentions this to Snake, because once again the government doesn't know who their own agents are. Snake fights Ocelot for the first time face-to-face at a crevice, though the fight ends prematurely when a swarm of hornets descends upon them, causing Snake to fall into the crevice.

This leads to Snake's first encounter with a Cobra Unit operative, The Pain, who is infested with throat parasites that give him the scientific ability to control bees with his mind (it's as stupid as it sounds). The Pain wants to fight him for no narrative reason at all, we just needed a boss fight. After defeating The Pain who explodes with a microbomb at the end of the fight (which is retconned in a later game), Snake infiltrates the Granin Design Bureau, where he learns from Director Granin that Volgin is financing Shagohod's development with the Philosophers' Legacy, a hundred-billion-dollar fund entrusted to his father, Boris Volgin, by a shadowy cabal of the world's elite who called themselves the Philosophers. On leaving the Bureau, Snake encounters The Fear, the Cobra Unit's [[Night Lords|stealth and terror specialist]] who has the same parasites as The Pain, though they provide him with different abilities. Once again Snake fights a guy who has no reason to fight him, and after The Fear explodes via microbomb (retconned out later) he passes through the Sokrovenno forest and probably fights The End, the Cobra Unit's centenarian sniper, and the 'father of sniping'. Apparently nobody tried to be a sharpshooter before him, which is strange because this was when the guard's eyesight wasn't that bad. The End is perhaps the only member of the Cobra unit who has a reason to fight Snake, that being he's dying and wants to be killed before he dies of old age, and dies in several different ways depending on what the player did. They could have found the sniper rifle off the beaten path and shot him before this fight, after which Snake gives a depressed message about how sad he is that his mission is closer to being accomplished (this is also back when Snake was retarded), he might die of old age (Snake gives the same message), or you might fight him, in which he blows up via microbomb. The End has the same throat parasites as the other two, though once again his do different things, and depending on the gender of the person they're attached to they make you either require a ghillie suit, or require you to wear nothing but a bikini. After that Snake climbs a mountain path to rendezvous with EVA.

EVA sets out their escape route and tells him where Volgin is holding Sokolov before she has to return to Volgin as Sokolovs' captive lover Tatyana, throughout this she hits on Snake, who reacts as if she just shot his dog. Traveling through underground tunnels, Snake encounters The Fury, the Cobra Unit's flamethrower operative. Like the others he has throat parasites that give him affinity for fire. His fiery, explosive death where he turns into a flaming skull monster (Snake suspects this to have happened thanks to the microbombs, because he's an idiot who believes that blowing up via microbomb turns you into a skull monster) causes the tunnels to collapse. Pressing on, Snake climbs the tallest ladder in the world while the theme song plays in the background to mask the load time to infiltrate the perimeter of Groznyj Grad, Volgin's fortified research facility where Shagohod and Sokolov reside, and the place Snake could have just dropped in at/immediately went towards from the beginning if Ocelot wasn't working against his own orders.

Inside, Snake takes out Major Raikov/Raiden and dons his uniform, completing the disguise with a Raikov/Raiden mask. He doesn't get very far before Volgin sniffs him out and captures him, thanks to the fact that Raikov/Raiden and Volgin are/were in love (yes, seriously). Volgin tortures him for information, literally shocking the piss out of him thanks to his own ability to shoot lightning, before Ocelot walks in and shoots Snakes' right eye, because even though one of the main themes of the game is Patriotism, Ocelot will continuously work against the country he's supposed to work for. Snake escapes captivity through one of many ways, either a ghost gives him a message, he gets it via radio, he tricks the guard or he gets it from a weeaboo (yes, seriously, a weeaboo who's obsessed with all the men in his family being named Johnny) and ends up diving off a storm drain outflow to evade pursuit as he's chased by the Ocelot unit, because Ocelot's loyalty is to whomever it's least convenient for the plot. During his near-death experience, Snake encounters The Sorrow, the Cobra Unit's deceased psychic ops soldier, who confronts him with a waist-deep river filled with the souls of the men he's killed, though this really amounts to nothing as the 'fight' is literally impossible to lose and The Sorrow really doesn't give a shit one way or another.

After coming to and linking up with EVA (also fucking her), Snake returns to Groznyj Grad, armed with a supply of C3 to destroy Shagohod's liquid fuel reserves. Caught in the act, The Boss makes Snake fight Volgin one-on-one while the detonators tick down toward zero, even though she could have started working with him right then and there, which would result in both of their missions being complete without any of the following bullshit: After defeating Volgin, Snake and EVA escape by motorcycle. Shagohod bursts out of its hangar, Volgin at the controls, because Snake runs away without checking to make sure Volgin will stay down, and so starts one of Snakes' major flaws, forgetting to make sure that his enemies are dealt with. Snake collapses a bridge to drop the Shagohod into a ravine, yet the machine drives up the debris in a way it couldn't to continue the pursuit. Even after pummeling it with RPG rounds, Volgin won't give up and controls the machine entirely through electricity once it becomes inoperable (because running electricity through shit causes it to magically become fixed). Snake goes for a third round, this time on foot, before Shagohod is finally destroyed and Volgin is not killed, since Snake again forgets to check if Volgin died or not. Finally, it looks like the mission's a success when they give their pursuers the slip, but EVA crashes their motorcycle and gets impaled by a tree branch.

Snake has to haul the severely wounded EVA through another stretch of forest, evading the ground pursuit, to reach the WIG that she'd prepared for their exit. Before they arrive, Snake has to tie up one last loose end: The Boss. In a field of white flowers, The Boss tells Snake about the Philosophers in a cutscene that mostly repeats information the player already knows and goes on about twenty fucking minutes too long. The cutscene also includes her role as a secret Mercury Program astronaut, witnessing her country's betrayal in the Bay of Pigs incident, and the loss of her child to the Philosophers after giving birth to him on the shores of Normandy. She calls in an airstrike on their location with a ten minute warning and demands that Snake give her his all, for no real reason.

After beating her in a fight, the Boss lays dying or just sleepy (depending on whether or not you used tranq rounds) in the field. She hands Snake a microfilm containing the Philosophers' Legacy since it was her mission to recover it in the beginning (she didn't complete her mission and fake her death because much like her student, she's an idiot) and asks that he use her gun, the Patriot, to finish her. The white flowers turn blood-red after the shot is fired. Snake boards the WIG, but Ocelot gets on as it's leaving to challenge Snake to a final duel, because his main objective is to ensure the USA gets the philosophers legacy, and he loves trying to prevent his own objective from getting accomplished. He loads one of his two revolvers with a single round, juggles them, and offers the choice to Snake. Depending on which gun you choose and where you choose to shoot it the round is either a blank or an actual bullet. If it's fired at one of them, it's a blank, if it's fired at a wall, the blank magically turns into an actual bullet.

After spending the night in the Alaska safehouse fucking EVA, Snake awakes to find EVA gone and a taped message waiting for him. Her message explains that she was a Chinese spy, not the EVA who was supposed to help Snake during his mission (aka information he should have already known), raised by the Philosophers, taught by The Boss, and that his mission was intended to get the Philosophers' Legacy into the hands of the US government, while her mission was to steal it for the Chinese. When Volgin nuked OKB-752, Snake's mission was changed to include killing The Boss as a scapegoat, because losing the greatest soldier in the world during what could have been the worlds greatest war was deemed 'acceptable'.

Back in the USA, Snake receives the Distinguished Service Cross from President Johnson and the title of Big Boss, ruining the Boss's speech about how there always needing to be one Snake, and one Boss (although the speech didn't make sense anyway as Snake wasn't his only codename). He snubs DCI John McCone on his way out, the man ultimately responsible for the death of The Boss. Snake places the Patriot on The Boss's unmarked grave in Arlington and salutes it, a manly tear rolling down his face.

After the credits, we get the customary Ocelot phone call. He assures the KGB director that Groznyj Grad and the Granin Research Bureau were destroyed, Khrushchev is finished, and the Soviet Union can use the details of the Virtuous Mission and Operation Snake Eater to blackmail America. He then calls the DCI to confirm that EVA's copy of the Philosophers' Legacy is a fake, half of the Legacy has made it to America, the Shagohod is destroyed, and that he'd acquired data on Granin's Metal Gear project that America could find useful. He also reveals that he's the real ADAM, a triple agent working for the KGB, Volgin, and the CIA, which the the DCI already knew but never bothered to mention, because keeping his identity secret was considered more important than insuring the world isn't enveloped in Nuclear War.
MGS4 pretty much confirms that all the surviving FOX unit characters from Snake Eater plus Eva and Ocelot are the founders of the Patriots, this happens off-screen of course even though none of the members are given any hint of being tech-savvy or influential enough to make (and install) world-governing AI's, since any time the series writes itself into a corner, more shit will just happen off-screen.

===Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops===
A game of questionable canon not directed or written by Hideo Kojima. The main antagonist is a bigger Villain Sue than Armstrong and Ocelot put together. Which is saying something because either would whip the floor with him. It was also a considered the worst game until recently (see Survive). Which is what you get when the primary writer is known for making shitty harem novels for morbidly obese otaku and directed by a script writer instead of a real director.

===Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots===

===Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker===
The other direct sequel to Metal Gear Solid 3 on the PSP. A much better game between the two. It should have been released on consoles instead as Big Boss can't move and be in the prone position at the same time. This is where the series starts falling apart. As the real brains behind Metal Gear. Tomokazu Fukushima, left Konami during the early development of MGS4.

===Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance===
Set four years after Guns of the Patriots, Revengeace is a completely different beast from any other Metal Gear game. First off, you play as Raiden for the entire game instead of Snake or Big Boss. Second, since this game was developed by Platinum Games instead of Konami, [[Flesh Tearers|stealth is mostly thrown out the window for glorious carnage]] (you can still try to use stealth when it's applicable to make the game easier, as enemies are vulnerable to insta-kills while you're undetected, but nothing's stopping you from just going in and murderfucking everyone.). And third, the stupid over-the-top tropes Metal Gear Solid was known for are hitched up to eleven. Seriously, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfpeFE4QhU0| look at this shit.] That's the equivalent of tossing around a [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)| Warhound Scout Titan]] like a rag doll.

Long story short, Raiden receives a far more powerful cyborg body and is sent to eliminate Desperado; an off-shoot faction of the Patriots led by U.S Senator Armstrong, known for the "Nanomachines, son" [[meme]] and the most patriotic villain ever known. Besides that the plot is pretty much nonexistent, with Raiden running around and pretty much being the living avatar of [[rip and tear|RIP N' TEAR]]. The plot though did have some really funny moments where Raiden discovered the villains plan to create an army, kidnap children from third-world countries, put their brains in jars, have them remote control robots/cyborgs, and once they were skilled enough put their brains in those bodies so that they could get killed on the battlefield, not to mention there's a part where Raiden just lets a bunch of children die because he's too busy posing to help them out. Much like most of the series, this plan is doomed to failure before it starts when you realize that there's already a far better alternative in the form of nanomachines that make you invincible, they only stop working when it's plot convenient. It also regresses Raidens' character a bit (because much like every MGS sequel, the theme of the previous games are ignored), but nobody really gave a shit about that because of all the over-the-top ninja bullshit he constantly pulls off.

===Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain===

==== Ground Zeroes ====

The story begins with Ground Zeroes, set one year after the events of Peace Walker. It turns out Paz, a close friend to Big Boss is alive, but she is being held in an American Interrogation camp on the southern tip of Cuba. Big Boss originally wanted to assassinate Paz because of her ties to the mysterious Cipher organization and suspects she might may have leaked critical information about the Militaires Sans Frontières. Miller on the other hand doesn't believe this and orders Big Boss to bring her back alive for questioning. Coincidentally, Mother Base is scheduled for a United Nations nuclear weapon inspection just as Miller doubts Paz's betrayal. After rescuing Paz and a young boy named Chico, they find out that Paz had a bomb surgically planted in her abdomen as a setup. After a very gruesome scene of surgically removing the bomb from Paz's body, Big Boss successfully disposes the bomb as Paz tries to recover. They return to Mother Base only to see that it has come under attack by Cipher's covert strike force XOF, meaning the inspection was only smokescreen for an attack. Big Boss manages to save Miller and an unnamed soldier (we find out his real alias is Mosquito, but he comes back later on). They all escape as Mother Base collapses and cue for Miller's famous meme quote "They played us like a damn fiddle!". Miller realizes Big Boss was right and demands answers from Paz. That is until Paz claims there is another bomb inside of her (heavily implied to be in her vagina, what the fuck Kojima) as she falls out of the helicopter and the second bomb inside her explodes causing the helicopter to lose control and crashes into another helicopter.

==== The Phantom Pain ====

Big Boss manages to survive the crash but falls into a coma for nine years. A pretty cool opening scene of Big Boss waking up to ''The Man Who Sold the World'' in a hospital bed in Cyprus. The doctors show Big Boss after the explosion that not only did he get shrapnel sticking out of his head and the inside of his body, but he also lost his left forearm in the process. The following night an assassin kills the doctors who took care of Big Boss and nearly kills Big Boss himself. That is until another patient stops the assassin and sets her on fire causing her to jump out the window. The patient reveals himself as 'Ishmael' and helps Big Boss escape (This isn't the only reference to the book Moby Dick, Ishmael calls Big Boss 'Ahab' while Big Boss is equipped with a hook hand prosthetic). As they both approach the elevator, they encounter a child wearing a gas mask and a straight jacket floating in the air (we know what you're thinking and yes, that is Psycho Mantis as a little kid) and a man covered in fire. Since gunfire is useless against him his only weakness is water. They both see that XOF units start killing the patients and hospital staff to ensure there are no witnesses. It becomes clear that they were sent in to eliminate Big Boss after finding out he had just woken up. After facing certain death against XOF soldiers and the Man of Fire, Big Boss and Ishmael escape the hospital using an ambulance. Unfortunately, the ambulance gets attacked by XOF forces and crashes. Big Boss survives, but Ishmael has disappeared leaving Big Boss to fend for himself. Just as an XOF helicopter is hovering over Big Boss, Psycho Mantis shows up then suddenly a giant fucking whale covered in fire swallows the helicopter and destroys it. To make things even more ridiculous, the Man of Fire shows up again riding a fucking winged unicorn made of fire. Luckily, a man riding a horse shows up to Big Boss' aid and that man is none other than Revolver Ocelot (now voiced by Troy Baker). After a chase ensues between the Man of Fire and Big Boss and Ocelot, they both manage to escape. Ocelot reminds Big Boss of what has happened before he fell into a coma and wants to help him and Miller rebuild their private army. It turns out Miller was captured by the Soviets and is being held for interrogation in Afghanistan. Big Boss joins up with Ocelot and sets out for Afghanistan.

===Metal Gear Survive===

A portal in the sky transports you to an alternate dimension after Mother Base was destroyed by XOF, where the Wolbachia parasite has mutated everyone into Romero-like [[zombie]]s. As the name implies; your objective is to survive. Its basically every indie survival horror game you see on Steam, except this comes in with a hefty pricetag of 40 USD/EUR.

From the recent trailers that came out; many people are already turned off by it, citing it as a mediocre survival horror game. As the first game ever worked on without Kojima's input, it easily be called the worst Metal Gear yet and even more inept than Kojima ever was. The story is worse than Snake's Revenge and makes Bethesda era [[Fallout]] look good with sentient nanomachines from the 22nd century via time travel as the main villain. Right out plagiarizing another video game made by Sqaure Enix, Gunslinger Stratos. Just without the alternate universe dopplegangers.

Proving once again that Gakuto Mikumo(who wrote the shitty story of Portable Ops) is a [[Isekai|no talent hack like most light novel writers]]. Blatantly ignoring that the real future of the Metal Gear universe is the much superior Zone of the Enders.(Sahelanthropus looks like a much less advanced Jehuty.)
Most of the game mechanics are a ripoff of Fortnite. The characters are bland and calling you every 30 seconds for who knows what. You are reminded to take food and drink often but it's very difficult to get either. The main character from the single player campaign is a [[Original_character,_do_not_steal|blatant ripoff of Chris Redfeild.]] While the player character is a mute because they couldn't afford to higher real voice actors.

They could have let Platinum make another Metal Gear Rising or remade the 8-bit era games. [[/pol/|Don't mention that to the Survive fanboys who call Kojima a hack or haters cucks or they will have an albino chimp out.]] [[derp|Who claim this garbage is the best Metal Gear game since MGS2.]] Most real fans would rather let the franchise die at this point and Konami just put the final nail in the coffin.

==See Also==
[[Metal Gear Vindicare]]

[[BattleTech]]

==Gallery==
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Image: MSG Agent Chart.png|Create your own MSG Agent!
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[[Category: Video_Games]]
[[Category: Under_Development]]
[[Category:Meme]]

Metal Gear

2018-02-23T08:43:19Z

2601:147:4200:6280:2450:6AB1:452C:5E62: /* Metal Gear Survive */

[[File: MSG Title.jpeg|thumb|right|Metal Gear Solid title]]
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{{Spoilers}}
If you're here on the Internet and have ''not'' heard of Metal Gear or Metal Gear Solid, you're obviously pretty new or just straight up ignorant... But for the sake [[/tg/]] and everyone, we'll help.

Metal Gear and the subsequent games coming after it are action-adventure stealth games starting in 1987. While Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2 on the <strike>EN EE ESS</strike> EM ES EX TWO were well-received and iconic, it was Metal Gear Solid in 1998 on the PEE ESS JUAN that changed not only the franchise but third-person shooters in general and practically being the herald of stealth games. Though each game has a different story, it typically follows the supersoldier agent Solid Snake or Big Boss during the 21st century and the Cold War as he infiltrates something, destroys whatever's inside, and is a badass while doing it. We would explain more of the story here but honestly it gets stupidly complicated with government conspiracies, clones, ghosts, [[meme|sudden but inevitable betrayals]], and many more. While somewhat grounded in reality it has a very obvious sci-fi feel to it, similar to [[BattleTech]], [[Shadowrun]], and in some ways [[Warhammer 40,000|Warhammer 40K]]. Bedsides it's well crafted game play and sometimes uneven plot, Metal Gear is mainly known for it's [[memes]].

==Metal Gear and /tg/==
Like much of the Internet and 4chan, /tg/ has a pretty distinct love for Metal Gear. We've had several quest threads following the Metal Gear universe, most notably [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Metal%20Gear:%20Rise%20from%20Ashes%20Quest| Rise from Ashes] and [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Revengeance%20Quest| Revengeance Quest]. While there's not a definitive homebrew for it, there's limitless potential and [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38662709/| that certainly hasn't stopped us from trying].

[[Metal Gear Vindicare]] is a pretty obvious /tg/-MSG relation, being inspired by the famous codec used by Solid Snake in the game. Centers around [[Love Can Bloom]] with <s>[[Doomrider]] as a special guest.</s> '''DO COCAAAAIIIINNE!'''

A lot of things about Metal Gear correlate with the interests of fa/tg/uys. Despite what most people think, /tg/ loves their [[tau|giant]] [[Adeptus Evangelion|robots]], which Metal Gear Solid has in spades. There's also a good enough amount of both [[grimdark]] and [[Orks|hilarious stupidity]] to keep a wide variety of neckbeards entertained.

==Characters==
===Solid Snake===
[[File: Solid Snake codec.png|thumb|left|I ''am'' happy]]
The protagonist for most of the games. He starts out his career in Metal Gear as a rookie FOXHOUND agent, uncovering the existence of the Metal Gear and the double-crossing of his superior, Big Boss. He later discovers that he's actually the clone-son of Big Boss, created for reasons that change from game to game. Snake spends the rest of the games fighting Big Bosses' other clones as well as uncovering the grand conspiracy his father had been retconned into fighting, while people talk about how hard the life that he chooses to live is even though it's his own fucking choice. He finally ends his career in Metal Gear Solid 4, his clone-genes rapidly degenerating and near the end of his life (by the time he's in his mid-thirties he's in his late sixties biologically, complete with heart problems and seizures). But he doesn't get to die before finally making amends with his father in a rather hilarious moment where Big Boss is convinced that unless he kills a really old man who was essentially a vegetable the whole series could happen again. In terms of personality there's not much to say, besides him wanting to lead huskies in the Iditarod if he were to ever retire.

===Big Boss===
[[File:Big Boss Salute.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|Good night, sweet prince.]]
Basically [[General Sturnn]]. But with an eye-patch. [[Farsight]] seems to take a lot of inspiration from him too.

While initially portrayed as the villain due to how much he loved war so he could get child soldiers to train into regular soldiers, one could argue whether or not his actions were justified given the later retcon of the Patriots existence (and then they'd remember that whole child soldier bit). Big Boss stars as the protagonist of all the Metal Gear games before Solid begins his career, dating back to the 1960s when he was known as Naked Snake (get it?). Naked Snake discovers the progenitor of Metal Gear in Soviet Russia while also being "betrayed" by his former leader, The Boss. After an arms deal goes wrong, he chooses to kill her to cover up America's involvement, which leaves a lasting impact for the rest of his life and was betrayed by his love interest, EVA, because nobody on the team realized that the agent he was supposed to meet (a man) was actually replaced by EVA (a woman). He decides to abandon the United States (even though patriotism was the theme of the previous game) and create his own military group "Militaires Sans Frontieres," the very mercenary group to have ever existed in the MGS world, later called "Diamond Dogs," while fighting his own shadow war against former comrade Zero who turned evil offscreen and is the founder of the Patriots (also happens offscreen). After fighting a number of early Metal Gear models, Big Boss began building a few Metal Gears of his own to try and even the odds. During a battle against one of the Patriots' splinter groups, Cypher, Big Boss pussies out and decides "Fuck this war, somebody else can deal with this shit" and leaves a body double, Venom Snake, to become the public face of his PMC while he fucked off to who knows where. Originally Big Boss fought Solid Snake in MG1 and died, this was retconned in MG2 where they said he didn't die, just had lots of his body replaced with machinery, and retconned into Venom Snake died instead in MG1, while Big Boss entered into a coma after MG2 until he was revived just after the patriots were defeated (nobody bothered to check to make sure he was dead).
He can also bench press 200 simi odd ton tanks and recharge batteries by eating glowing mushrooms for [[Orks| some reason.]]

===Gray Fox===
Initially just an NPC with some backstory as FOXHOUND's best soldier. In Metal Gear 2 he's retconned as Solid Snake's best friend in Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake.([[Fail| To differentiate it from the load of fail that was Metal Gear 2 on the NES]]) Mid-way into the game in he is revealed as the second in command of Zanzibar Land under Big Boss & the pilot of the first real Metal Gear battle and first of the melee only boss battles, with [[Mekboy | land minds surrounding boss arena]]. Because the AI was shit (and he isn't the player character) he loses to Snake. He also kills his girlfriend accidentally in one of the most heavily foreshadowed scenes of all time.
In Metal Gear Solid he comes back as the first [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Cyborg Ninja]] as a tutorial battle for the game's melee system. [[Railroading| In short telling the player how to beat him.]] His final act is damaging Metal Gear Rex with some kind of [[Skub|laser or plasma weapon]] that he didn't have in previous appearances before being squished by Metal Gear. So Snake can finally defeat Rex with his Stinger Missiles. Also appears in a prequel game of [[C.S. Goto|questionable canon]].
Later on his backstory was expanded a little more, and it was revealed that he was a child soldier fighting in an area well known for their child soldiers, and he was able to amass a large kill-streak because none of his enemies thought that child soldiers existed, [[Fail|in an area full of them.]]
His ability to lower the intelligence of everyone he met impressed the CIA, who decided to make him into the perfect soldier, unfortunately this ability affected the CIA too and they assumed that wiping all of his memories, including the memory of any martial art he knew or fought against, would make him a better fighter.
He also later murdered the parents of Naomi, then chose to adopt her, because why not? Naomi is also the person who turns him into a cyborg and then lets him loose, knowing full well that he'll want another rematch against Snake, and knowing full well that if Snake failed to complete the mission a Nuke could be launched against the US, though luckily assisting in the act of nuclear terrorism only gets you a verbal reprimand, so she gets away just fine.

===Liquid Snake===
[[File:Brother Liquid.png|thumb|right|Liquid quite literally most of the time.]]
The antagonist of Metal Gear Solid and Snake's clone brother. Liquid has a distinctly British accent and blond hair. According to the game's very loose grasp of genetics, Liquid inherited all the recessive genes of Big Boss, while Snake inherited all the dominant genes, and because of this he believed he was made from "inferior genes" and that's the reason he's evil. No seriously, the entire reason he's evil is because he doesn't like how he looks, and thus becomes Doctor Doom. Even as a child, he was a surprisingly competent soldier, giving Venom Snake (who he believed was his father Big Boss) a lot of headaches when he started acting out, he also murdered kids and stole the Metal Gear Venom Snake had before vanishing in a cliffhanger that never got resolved in the main series (you'll have to look to youtube to see what they wanted to do). Liquid would have died from Skull Face's parasite had he not become BFFs with his future comrade, Psycho Mantis who had the ability to do pretty much everything, and was retconned into being possessed by Liquid since Psycho Mantis now gets possessed by non-Psychic people, even though he's wearing his mask which was designed to stop peoples thoughts from entering his head. Liquid has massive Daddy issues (the aforementioned genes) and is incredibly stupid, which lead him to rebel against the US government and seize Metal Gear REX for himself. He also really hates Snake for the same aforementioned gene issue, possessing a really intense inferiority complex and needing to constantly prove himself. Also turned Gray Fox into a blood puddle, because can't aim a [[fail|laser for crap]]. Snake fights him several times, including shooting down his helicopter and Metal Gear Rex, but the bastard JUST. WON'T. DIE. Of course he finally does die from an engineered virus... sort of. "Liquid" takes possession of Ocelot but this was retconned out later so it doesn't matter.

===Ocelot===
A Russian gunslinger and a guy with a LOT of mixed loyalties that make no sense when you think about it. Formerly a member of GRU (the Soviet Military's version of the civilian KGB) and a secret agent for the USA, Ocelot joined with Big Boss (due to wanting to fuck him), helping him in secret despite nominally being a member of the Patriots (and later deciding to destroy them). Ocelot joined Liquid's rebellion, but only to act as the Patriot's inside man and steal the plans for Metal Gear REX, even though as the governing intelligence they would already have had them. He also manages to steal Metal Gear RAY, but at this point he starts acting out his secret plan to destroy the Patriots from within. How does he do this? Well....

# [[What|Pretend to be possessed by the ghost of Liquid]] and steal Metal Gear RAY which was later retconned into him using hypnosis to make himself think he's Liquid, which gives him all of Liquid's personalities and skills, because that's what happens in this universe (it's how Big Boss made his body double too).
# Use one of the Patriots' AI to infiltrate their system and take effective control over their military assets, because AI who know that the new AI will be under Liquid's control will just hand it to him and wait to die.
# When the patriots send Snake after him, put up a convincing show of resistance by attempting to kill him multiple times.
# Steal the railgun off of Metal Gear REX and aim it at the Patriots' main satellite, which is still armed with a live nuke because nobody in the government told their successors about the nuke, because written logs don't exist in this world, everything is passed down through word of mouth, and the patriots forgot that the nuke was there too.
# Hope that Snake is still alive at this point and that he's developed the worm necessary to kill the Patriots AI, which Liquid could have done at any time so he wouldn't have had to worry about all the earlier bullshit.
# Fistfight him bare-chested until you die of exhaustion.
# ???
# Profit!
Yeah... when we talk about how convoluted the story is, it's usually Ocelot's fault. Still, for an elderly old bastard, he's pretty damn badass. Dude can also pull off some [[/co/|Taskmaster]] level shit and bite CQC moves from his opponents. He's also the third canon cyborg via replacing Liquid's Arm with a prosthetic and [[What|dented his own ship with it.]]

Also, he has a [[Slaanesh| torture fetish]] and is a [[Furry|furry old fuck.]]

===Otacon===
The [[weeaboo]] of the series. We're not exaggerating, by the way. He wanted to work on Metal Gear REX specifically because he's obsessed with [[anime]]. Otacon is your typical nerdy support character, giving Snake technical assistance in his fight against the Metal Gears and is the only reason REX was able to be defeated because he intentionally developed it with an exploitable weak spot that would have made it a hindrance against on the battlefield. This carries over to the next several games where he'll design something far inferior to what already existed, only to let you use that better thing later on anyway. He's also a quite literally hopeless romantic, as his two romantic interests ended up dying. Though to be honest, the first was a terrorist who showed no real interest in him, and the second was Naomi, who upon realizing she had cancer that wasn't doing a fucking thing because she stopped it with nanomachines, decided to commit suicide. Also we learn that his dad committed suicide because he had sex with his stepmom. Yeah.

===Huey===
Otacon's dad. Despite having the same general appearance, voice actor, and role as Otacon, Huey deserves special mention for how much of a [[that guy|cock]] he is and how despite all his faults, Otacon is infinitely more tolerable. So, he's a paraplegic engineer who got drafted by the CIA into helping to build Peace Walker, not realizing how insane the project really is (this is a persistent theme for him). After being rescued by Big Boss, Huey works for him and develops Metal Gear ZEKE as a counter to the various AI weapons the CIA had built. He also ended up marrying his design partner, the heavily-implied-to-have-had-a-lesbian-crush-on-The-Boss Dr. Strangelove, with whom they had a son named Hal (aka Otacon). Now, here's where the dark shit settles in: <s> after getting tricked by Cipher into letting them onto Mother Base to destroy it </s> after selling out Big Boss and MSF to Cipher, Huey gets abducted and is forced to work on a new Metal Gear, Sahelanthropus. Because the cockpit can't fit a full-sized human, he tries to get his son Hal to pilot it. Strangelove vehemently opposes this, so he ends up stuffing her inside an AI pod to suffocate. After getting recaptured by Big Boss, he insists that he never betrayed him and that he wasn't willingly working for Cipher. But after Big Boss succeeds in defeating Skull Face, Huey steals the vocal chord parasite and makes it more deadly by making it immune to its original antidote in an attempt to sell it to Cipher for protection, even having the gall to call Big Boss a murderer for mercy-killing the men Huey infected. Naturally, this pisses off Big Boss, so he sends him adrift on a tiny life raft. Huey lives out the rest of his days being a bad parent, eventually drowning himself (and nearly drowning his stepdaughter) when he found out Hal had sex with his new wife. After learning all that, one can only imagine how badly Hal was treated and feel some genuine pity for him.

===Meryl===
Colonel Roy Campbell's daughter (he told everyone she was his niece because he didn't want them to know her mother had an affair with him) and the only FOXHOUND agent to not join Liquid's rebellion. She starts out as a rookie way in over her head, but she helps out Snake by providing him with useful information. Snake also starts to develop a romantic interest in her after all the shit they go through, and then dumps her to go hunt Metal Gears because Snake decided that Metal Gears shouldn't exist, a plan which was doomed to failure since their design was on the internet and literally everyone could download it. In Metal Gear Solid, depending on whether Snake submits to Ocelot's torture, Meryl lives or dies at the end of the game. This is later retconned in Metal Gear Solid 4, where she lives but also learns the truth that she's Roy's daughter, not his niece, which pisses her off. Meryl becomes the commander of her own unit which she names after the group who tried to kill her, and decides that because at this point Snake's turned into a crusty old fart, she's going to marry her perpetually incontinent subordinate stalker (he saw her once and was then pining for her years after the fact), who's also a weeaboo.

===Raiden===
He's introduced as the "true" protagonist of Metal Gear Solid 2, but his original appearance is nowhere near as badass as Snake. He's a [[Fulgrim|white-haired effeminate Bishie]] that tends to rile up most people who loathe anime stereotypes. Raiden starts out as a Child Soldier in Africa (despite being whiter than white-out) before being taken in by the Patriots as their successor to Solid Snake. He's lived nearly his entire life in simulations and being fucked over by AIs. Once he's actually let out into the real world to stop Solidus and his terror cell, he meets Snake, and together they discover the existence of the Patriots.

Raiden gets a significant upgrade after MGS2, where he gets kidnapped by the Patriots and has his entire body below his upper jaw cut off and replaced by a cyborg ninja body (akin to a reverse [[Ferrus Manus]]). Everyone agrees that his version of Raiden is much better, and he ends up starring in the spin-off game Metal Gear Rising, where he uses his sword and ninja athleticism to fight other cyborgs and a regular human who was stronger than him due to having [[Flash Gitz| a better weapon, Power Armor]] and skills. In the Metal Gear verse your top of the line upgrades are [[Games Workshop|barely useful in less than four years]].

===Solidus===
The last of Big Bosses' clones, Solidus was much more under the control of the Patriots, sometimes. He spent some time fighting in Africa, where he picked up an orphaned Raiden and turned him into a pawn of the Patriots. While he was eventually made President, this really didn't count for much as the Patriots still made all the decisions and he was basically a puppet. Solidus decides that he's had enough of this shit and steals the Patriots' new warship, Arsenal Gear, and decides to take the fight directly to them. Of course, this didn't end well for him when Snake and Raiden interfere and the ship crashes into Manhattan. He gets killed by Raiden, sort of-not really as nobody bothered to check the body (falling into a coma instead of dying), but his body ends up being a macguffin because his DNA is an exact match to Big Boss, allowing Ocelot to hack into the Patriots network, because even though the Patriots know what's happening and could stop it they let it happen anyway.

===The Patriots===
Also known as "Cipher", or "La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo" if you're under their direct control since they decided the best way to hide their name is telling everyone that they can't say their name. Financed by the inheritance of the 20th Century's wealthiest men, the Patriots control literally everything. Originally this was a group formed by Big Boss, Zero, Sigint, Para-Medic, Ocelot, and Eva in order to fulfill The Boss' wishes of uniting the world and ending the Cold War since the entire series is based around people wanting to do what The Boss wanted to do, despite most of them having minimal attachment to the boss at best. However, this group split in half over differences on how to fulfill this vision. Zero wanted to control the entire world and all facets of human life through all-knowing AIs, while Big Boss wanted to create "Outer Heaven," a place where soldiers would always belong and not be the puppets of governments (because having people always ready to fight would obviously mean everyone becomes peaceful and happy). When Zero went comatose, the group was taken over for a short time by Skull Face, the guy responsible for cleaning up the mess in MGS3 even though there wasn't anyone like that originally (retcon) and the location should have made it impossible. He wanted to fulfill the Boss' vision by eliminating language itself using a language-based parasite because he believed that a persons personality and way of thinking had everything to do with the language they spoke (he was also retarded). Eventually the Patriots was controlled by Five AIs: JD, GW, TJ, AL, & TR (John Doe, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and Theodore Roosevelt respectively) who had no self preservation whatsoever. These AIs decided that the best thing to unite the world was to plunge it into perpetual conflict and proxy wars, bringing together the worst of Zero's and Big Boss' visions and directly working against everything the series said they were working towards. The Patriots AI were killed off when Snake unwittingly uploaded a worm that killed all of them, finally freeing the world from their influence.

==Types of Metal Gears==
If the title of the game didn't hint at it enough, a prominent part of the game(s) are these giant mechs called (you guessed it) Metal Gears. In the beginning they're simply mobile platforms to launch nuclear weapons, but they evolve to fulfill many other roles and become far more dangerous in general.

'''Shagohod''': Technically not a Metal Gear, but created the precedent for mobile nuclear platforms. This crazy contraption was basically a giant armored hovercraft (Move Trough Cover) that would rocket-boost (one-turn Fast Tank) in order to give its nuclear payload an extra boost and was designed to launch nukes from any surface, giving the Soviet Union the edge in the Cold War. Of course the whole point of the Cold War was that both sides were fucked if ANY nukes were launched so it became pointless before it was built. It also had point-defenses up the wazzoo.

'''Metal Gear RAXA''': The first proper Metal Gear ever built. A four-legged Metal Gear that could be launched from a ICBM. If you're asking why in the fuck they have to use a Metal Gear as a middleman nuclear platform when they're already launching it from an ICBM, supposedly it's because the missiles are harder to intercept on the Metal Gear than on the ICBM... but who's to say they can't intercept the ICBM carrying the Metal Gear?

'''Peace Walker''': A four-legged walker that was fully AI controlled. It's described as having a stealth frame, but it wouldn't exactly be hard to spot considering the size of the thing. It could only fire nukes defensively, but could be tricked into launching a premature attack through a plot that understood little to nothing of mutually assured destruction.

'''Metal Gear ZEKE''': Big Boss' first attempt at a Metal Gear, this one was fully bipedal. Originally it was AI controlled too, but was modified to use a human pilot when Cypher attempted to steal it, the modifications being completed in days or minutes depending on when you last checked it, and nobody guarding it thought that it was a good idea to stop the modifications that weren't supposed to happen, and the two people doing them would never have been able to make them in the first place. This metal gear was also customizable and could be sent out on combat missions alongside MSF soldiers.

'''Sahelanthropus''': This one was designed by Otacon's Dad, Huey. While technically more advanced than Metal Gear REX in that it could walk upright, one flaw was that the cockpit was too small for a full-sized human. Cypher got around this by using Pyscho Mantis to control it psychically, because in Phantom Pain Psycho Mantis could do whatever he wanted, which makes you question why they need robots when they already have control over a superhuman. Sahelanthropus is also the absolute proof of why Metal Gears are useless (as if Metal Gear: Rising didn't already do that), despite costing millions to make and countless resources, it's easily defeated by a man on a man-sized robot that would have cost a fraction of the resources to develop, and if it didn't have the ability to create clouds that destroyed metal, it could have been easily defeated by one tank.

'''TX-55''': The Metal Gear that appears in the first game (which is now chronologically not the first one). This model didn't have that many frills, it was simply a robot that could fire nukes. It does nothing while Snake just uses C4 to blow it up and dodges the [[Rage|annoying laser cameras]]. Presumably it's the most durable one because the only way to hurt it is to use a shitload of C4 on its legs in a certain order, because that's how explosives work.

'''Metal Gear D''': The first real Metal Gear the player ever fights in the release order. An upgraded version of TX-55. It only had a machine guns and missiles during it's boss battle. It's sprite makes it look as if could launch [[Anal_circumference|six nukes one after another]].

'''Metal Gear REX''': This dinosaur-looking motherfucker takes the original Metal Gear concept one step further by firing nukes from a [[Tau|railgun]] instead of a ballistic missile, making nukes nearly impossible to track (though it was never designed to do so, it just happened to work out that way). It also had a badass assortment of weaponry, from Gatling Guns to crotch lasers and a crap-ton of missiles. Liquid only uses the anti tank missiles. Even after Snake battled it in MGS1, it was still tough enough to take on RAY in MGS4. After MGS1, hundreds of REX knockoffs started spreading throughout the world thanks to Ocelot's douchebaggery.

'''Metal Gear RAY''': Designed to be the ultimate anti-Metal Gear weapon, RAY failed fucking hard in that regard. It's amphibious by design, and instead of carrying nukes, its weapons include a powerful water cannon that can cut metal. Despite being built specifically to fight Metal Gears, it still loses in a fight against an already damaged Metal Gear REX. For some reason Ocelot never uses the laser or the missile spam attack seen in Metal Gear Solid 2 when he pilots the manned version in MGS4. Still not a cake walk though since you need too spam the fire button instead of holding it down to make this fight easier. Since Metal Gear battles that are not the first boss hardly ever are.
The others seen in MGS2 and Rising are unmanned knockoffs.

'''Metal Gear RAY MOD0''': An upgrade over RAY seen in Metal Gear Rising. With the rise of carbon nano-tube tech; the armor was made lighter and stronger, allowing it to carry more weapons. Upgrades include: 4 limb-mounted twin-linked gatling guns, micro and macro missile launchers, an HF arm blade roughly the size of a small building, and a mouth-mounted plasma cannon. Despite all this, every last one of these guys encountered were destroyed by some Rhodesian weeaboo ninja with a sharp stick and a smart-talking Brazilian samurai with an incomprehensibly powerful sword and fighting technique.

'''Metal Gear EXCELSUS''': Not really a Metal Gear, it was only named so for marketing reasons, but still impractically awesome either way. Seen only in Metal Gear Rising; EXCELSUS was meant as an anti-cyborg gear, because cyborgs were becoming too powerful for conventional warfare. Due to this, people thought the only counter to this was to go back to making giant mechs with impractically large and powerful weapons (under the logic that if you can't outmanuver them; outgun them). EXCELSUS is basically a scorpion-shaped mech roughly as tall and wide a sports stadium and armed with two giant HF blades and twin plasma cannons. Its destroyed by Raiden in the most hilariously over-the-top way possible; he bodyslams it to the ground, rips one of it's arm blades off, and engages it in an arm-wrestling match with one of it's severed arms.

'''Gekko''': Quite possibly the dumbest looking mechs in science fiction, the Gekkos are small Metal Gears made up of a combination of synthetic organic muscle and mechanical technology. They have the head/upper body of a REX, but they have a pair of lizard legs to walk around on. You'd think that those legs would be easy pickings for bullets, but actually they won't buckle for anything less than explosives. They also allow the GEKKO to jump really high, climb on walls, and sweep kick you, so good luck running away from them. They also moo like cows and take shits. Seriously. We're not fucking joking.

==Plot==
===Metal Gear ===
The original NES port of Metal was a load of [[fail]]. Proving that even thirty years ago PC gaming is superior to consoles. Seriously some of the maps are removed and a few of the boss battles have been changed. It also takes out Big Boss's [[Troll|importance to the original plot.]] Reading about Phantom Pain first will be spoilers for this game so be warned.

===Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake===
Subtitle included because the original non-canon Metal Gear 2 NES is a run and gun shooter with a story that [[Spiritual_liege| makes less sense then usual]].

===Metal Gear Solid===
Snake's decided to retire from the spy business after having to kill his father <s>twice</s> once (first one was actually Venom Snake) to live out his dream of training racing huskies in the Alaskan wilderness. But Colonel Campbell comes knocking at his door, telling him that FOXHOUND's turned traitor and have taken a nuclear disposal facility hostage. After getting some weird shots from Dr. Naomi Hunter, he gets his SCUBA on and sneaks into the base. There he quickly discovers that the leader of the rebellion is Liquid Snake, Solid Snake's clone brother with a massive hate-boner for both their father and himself. The other FOXHOUND members include Revolver Ocelot, Decoy Octopus, Vulcan Raven, Sniper Wolf, and Psycho Mantis; the only FOXHOUND agent who didn't join the rebellion was Campbell's niece Meryl. After sneaking around the base trying to rescue the hostages, both Darpa Chief Donald Anderson (Sigint in MGS3) and Armstech President Kenneth Baker die suddenly of a heart attack mid-conversation. Snake later learns that the shot he received earlier was actually the FOXDIE virus, a genome-specific disease that kills specific individuals (and that the Darpa Chief was actually Decoy Octopus, whereas the real one had already died from torture). Furthermore, the nuclear disposal facility is actually a secret testing ground for the newest Metal Gear model, Metal Gear REX.

Snake tracks down REX's designer, Otacon, just as he's been cornered by a creepy cyborg ninja. Said ninja is actually Gray Fox, Snake's old BFF who's gone completely mental. (Naomi later reveals that she's not only Gray Fox's sister and wants to kill Snake for what he did to him, but also modified FOXDIE so that he'll be targeted as well at a random time... except wouldn't he already have been a target since he and Liquid have the exact same genome? Kojima just doesn't understand genetics at all.) After fighting him off, Otacon helps out Snake in finding out how to stop the terrorists from using REX's stealth nuke capabilities. Snake also meets up with Meryl, who gives him the PAL card needed to disarm Metal Gear REX. After fighting Psycho Mantis (Who has a memorable boss fight in which he literally blanks the entire screen and forces you to change controllers) and Vulcan Raven, Snake is captured by Sniper Wolf after she shoots Meryl, while Ocelot tortures Snake. Here, if Snake submits to the torture, Meryl dies at the end, otherwise she survives. Anyway, with Otacon's help, Snake is able to escape captivity, destroys Liquid's helicopter, defeats Sniper Wolf, and sneaks into Rex's lair. After defeating Vulcan Raven a second time, Snake finally reaches REX itself, figuring out that the system requires three key cards to disarm even though he only has the one. However, Otacon tells him that [[what|he already has all three key cards]] because its designed to change shape with temperature. So after traipsing around in the lair he disarms REX... [[fail|except that it was all a ruse and he ended up arming it instead]]. Liquid takes control of REX and challenges Snake to a fight. Luckily Gray Fox intervenes and helps to expose REX's cockpit, allowing Snake to shoot at liquid directly. Que a fistfight atop Rex, followed by the sudden reveal that the Secretary of State is going to bomb the whole island to cover the entire incident up, followed by a high-speed chase in which Liquid attempts to kill Snake one last time. Finally Liquid succumbs to FOXDIE while Snake and Otacon or Meryl walk away with him into the rising sun.

Que one final cutscene in which Ocelot is revealed to have survived, and has stolen the plans for Metal Gear REX, under orders of President Solidus Snake.

===Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty===
Hoo boy, this is where the series starts getting weird. After the events of MGS, Snake and Otacon form an NGO that tracks and monitors the proliferation of Metal Gear platforms around the world. When Otacon gets a tip that the US Marine Corps has a new super Metal Gear designed specifically to fight other MGs, Snake sneaks onboard the oil tanker it's hidden in to get proof. A Russian mercenary company also boards the ship, killing the Marines on patrol and making Snake's job just that much harder. Snake incapacitates the mercs' field commander and finds Metal Gear RAY in the deep holds of the ship. He also finds Revolver Ocelot, who declares that he's "taking it back" for the Patriots, kills the Marine commandant, and takes RAY, sinking the ship in the process. Snake is presumed killed in action.

Two years later, a terrorist group called "the Sons of Liberty" take over the Big Shell cleanup rig at the site of the tanker's sinking and take hostages, including the President of the United States. FOXHOUND sends in a covert operative to rescue the hostages and take out the Sons of Liberty, whose leader claims to be Solid Snake. The operative, code named "Raiden," gets jerked around by his handler Colonel Campbell, his data analyst and girlfriend Rosemary, and a SEAL Team 10 survivor named Iroquois Plisken (Solid Snake in a totally unconvincing disguise) as they track down the Sons of Liberty, disarm explosives, and have long, rambling conversations on the nature of free will.

The events of this operation play out suspiciously like the events of the Shadow Moses operation in the previous game, culminating in the reveal that the whole thing was an attempt by the Patriots to replicate the circumstances that led to Solid Snake's transformation into one of the most effective operators in the world, using Raiden as a test subject. Ocelot got an arm transplant with Liquid Snake as the donor, and now Liquid's ghost can possess him. The Sons of Liberty were pawns, despite "Solid Snake" (actually Solidus, the third Snake) thinking he was rebelling against them by doing this. Dead Cell, the US Navy anti-terror unit created by President Sears (again, actually Solidus) to test military security, was used as a stand-in for the rogue FOXHOUND operatives from Shadow Moses, the Patriots liquidating them in order to drive them into Solidus's arms. Dead Cell member Fortune's entire misfortunate history (losing her father, husband, and unborn child) was engineered by the Patriots. The mysterious cyborg that's helping Raiden is Olga Gurlukovich, the Russian merc commander forced to work for the Patriots lest they kill the daughter they stole from her. The President was a willing participant in the entire charade because he wanted the power that being part of the Patriots could offer. The Big Shell is a cover for the construction of Arsenal Gear, an aircraft carrier-sized platform for monitoring and censoring Internet traffic and protected by two dozen RAY drones. The oil spill was created by the Patriots to justify the construction of Big Shell (remember the conspicuous lack of any oil in the tanker).

And then the narrative goes totally off the rails. Otacon's sister Emma, rescued by Raiden and then killed by Dead Cell operative Vamp, delivers a computer worm that Otacon uses to infect Arsenal Gear, then Snake sucker punches Raiden to get him brought into Arsenal. The Colonel starts going berserk, calling Raiden with nonsense and gibberish. Snake finds Raiden's gear, gives it back, and also gives him a high-frequency sword that becomes his signature weapon henceforth. Battling to the core of Arsenal, Raiden fights its entire complement of RAYs with a Stinger missile system. Solidus, the Patriots, and "Liquid" Ocelot all reveal their goals: to hunt down the Patriots, to control global information context, and to find and destroy the Patriots, respectively. Arsenal Gear crashes into the Lower West Side of Manhattan, and Solidus and Raiden fight on the roof of Federal Hall.

With Solidus dead, Raiden and Snake figure out what to do next. Snake and Otacon plan to mine the worm's code for information on the Patriots while Raiden reunites with Rose (who is totally real and not living in Canada), finally remembering why April 30th is so important to her: it was the day they first met.

===Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater===
Chronologically the first game in the series, MGS3 is pretty much a Fix Fic for the [[C.S. Goto|half assed story of MGS2]]. Force Operation X drops one of their operatives, Naked Snake, into Soviet territory to help scientist Nikolai Stepanovich Sokolov defect. Again (Major Zero of FOX had to give him back to the Soviets to end the Cuban Missile Crisis just days after crossing the Berlin Wall). Just as Snake is leaving with Sokolov, they are surrounded by KGB agents. Ocelot, a young major in GRU, arrives, kills the KGB agents with a dazzling display of gunplay, and then gets his ass handed to him by Snake. A sporting chap, Snake offers Ocelot tips on his gun handling before Ocelot passes out. Before they can leave, The Boss arrives in the AO, declaring her own defection to the Soviet Union. This is later revealed to be a ploy, though it should have been obvious to anyone with a brain that it was a ruse since the government told you she was on a nuclear sub and if her defection really was legit then they wouldn't have known where she was. If this was legit, this also means that they would have lost sight of not only the greatest soldier in the world, but her entire unit. She breaks Snake's arm for no reason other than to be an asshole and throws him off a rope bridge. Colonel Volgin of GRU uses an M388 Davey Crockett, given to him by The Boss, to destroy Sokolov's design bureau, thus ending the Cold War, as this is now an American nuke brought into Russia by an American and fired by a defector. Everyone still calls it the Cold War anyway because this plot point is forgotten almost immediately once the intro is over.

In order to stop a full-scale war, America has to prove to Russia that they were not behind the attack on OKB-752, a plan doomed to failure because they obviously were and it's revealed in the end that they definitely were. Major Zero is forced to send Snake back into action with only two weeks to heal, his new mission: rescue Sokolov, kill The Boss (for some reason), her team (the Cobra Unit), and Colonel Volgin, and destroy Volgin's pet project, the Shagohod. In exchange, the Soviets will provide access to a communication satellite and two spies, NSA defectors codenamed ADAM and EVA.

Snake is inserted into the area of operation again, but The Boss finds him and destroys his weapon and insertion vehicle because she's an asshole who likes working directly against her main objective, alerting the Russian ground forces to his presence. Snake meets a woman who claims she's EVA, even though she doesn't provide the counter-phrase "La Li Lu Le Lo" to Snake's question "Who are the Patriots?" Which should have told not only him but everyone involved that she wasn't who she said she was, and nobody read EVA's file which would have told them EVA was a man, either that or the NSA doesn't know if their agents are male or female and also doesn't bother writing their names down or taking their picture. Strangely Snake received a full file on this EVA before he met her (as some of it shows up in the radio menu) however he neglects to read the part where it says she was a Chinese spy, because we need some retarded plot twist at the end of the game for a 'Gotcha!' Moment. The two end up fighting the Ocelot Unit and humiliating Major Ocelot once again, even though Ocelot is ADAM and it's in his best interest to work with Snake (somehow nobody remembered he was a NSA defector the first time you met him) and nobody mentions this to Snake, because once again the government doesn't know who their own agents are. Snake fights Ocelot for the first time face-to-face at a crevice, though the fight ends prematurely when a swarm of hornets descends upon them, causing Snake to fall into the crevice.

This leads to Snake's first encounter with a Cobra Unit operative, The Pain, who is infested with throat parasites that give him the scientific ability to control bees with his mind (it's as stupid as it sounds). The Pain wants to fight him for no narrative reason at all, we just needed a boss fight. After defeating The Pain who explodes with a microbomb at the end of the fight (which is retconned in a later game), Snake infiltrates the Granin Design Bureau, where he learns from Director Granin that Volgin is financing Shagohod's development with the Philosophers' Legacy, a hundred-billion-dollar fund entrusted to his father, Boris Volgin, by a shadowy cabal of the world's elite who called themselves the Philosophers. On leaving the Bureau, Snake encounters The Fear, the Cobra Unit's [[Night Lords|stealth and terror specialist]] who has the same parasites as The Pain, though they provide him with different abilities. Once again Snake fights a guy who has no reason to fight him, and after The Fear explodes via microbomb (retconned out later) he passes through the Sokrovenno forest and probably fights The End, the Cobra Unit's centenarian sniper, and the 'father of sniping'. Apparently nobody tried to be a sharpshooter before him, which is strange because this was when the guard's eyesight wasn't that bad. The End is perhaps the only member of the Cobra unit who has a reason to fight Snake, that being he's dying and wants to be killed before he dies of old age, and dies in several different ways depending on what the player did. They could have found the sniper rifle off the beaten path and shot him before this fight, after which Snake gives a depressed message about how sad he is that his mission is closer to being accomplished (this is also back when Snake was retarded), he might die of old age (Snake gives the same message), or you might fight him, in which he blows up via microbomb. The End has the same throat parasites as the other two, though once again his do different things, and depending on the gender of the person they're attached to they make you either require a ghillie suit, or require you to wear nothing but a bikini. After that Snake climbs a mountain path to rendezvous with EVA.

EVA sets out their escape route and tells him where Volgin is holding Sokolov before she has to return to Volgin as Sokolovs' captive lover Tatyana, throughout this she hits on Snake, who reacts as if she just shot his dog. Traveling through underground tunnels, Snake encounters The Fury, the Cobra Unit's flamethrower operative. Like the others he has throat parasites that give him affinity for fire. His fiery, explosive death where he turns into a flaming skull monster (Snake suspects this to have happened thanks to the microbombs, because he's an idiot who believes that blowing up via microbomb turns you into a skull monster) causes the tunnels to collapse. Pressing on, Snake climbs the tallest ladder in the world while the theme song plays in the background to mask the load time to infiltrate the perimeter of Groznyj Grad, Volgin's fortified research facility where Shagohod and Sokolov reside, and the place Snake could have just dropped in at/immediately went towards from the beginning if Ocelot wasn't working against his own orders.

Inside, Snake takes out Major Raikov/Raiden and dons his uniform, completing the disguise with a Raikov/Raiden mask. He doesn't get very far before Volgin sniffs him out and captures him, thanks to the fact that Raikov/Raiden and Volgin are/were in love (yes, seriously). Volgin tortures him for information, literally shocking the piss out of him thanks to his own ability to shoot lightning, before Ocelot walks in and shoots Snakes' right eye, because even though one of the main themes of the game is Patriotism, Ocelot will continuously work against the country he's supposed to work for. Snake escapes captivity through one of many ways, either a ghost gives him a message, he gets it via radio, he tricks the guard or he gets it from a weeaboo (yes, seriously, a weeaboo who's obsessed with all the men in his family being named Johnny) and ends up diving off a storm drain outflow to evade pursuit as he's chased by the Ocelot unit, because Ocelot's loyalty is to whomever it's least convenient for the plot. During his near-death experience, Snake encounters The Sorrow, the Cobra Unit's deceased psychic ops soldier, who confronts him with a waist-deep river filled with the souls of the men he's killed, though this really amounts to nothing as the 'fight' is literally impossible to lose and The Sorrow really doesn't give a shit one way or another.

After coming to and linking up with EVA (also fucking her), Snake returns to Groznyj Grad, armed with a supply of C3 to destroy Shagohod's liquid fuel reserves. Caught in the act, The Boss makes Snake fight Volgin one-on-one while the detonators tick down toward zero, even though she could have started working with him right then and there, which would result in both of their missions being complete without any of the following bullshit: After defeating Volgin, Snake and EVA escape by motorcycle. Shagohod bursts out of its hangar, Volgin at the controls, because Snake runs away without checking to make sure Volgin will stay down, and so starts one of Snakes' major flaws, forgetting to make sure that his enemies are dealt with. Snake collapses a bridge to drop the Shagohod into a ravine, yet the machine drives up the debris in a way it couldn't to continue the pursuit. Even after pummeling it with RPG rounds, Volgin won't give up and controls the machine entirely through electricity once it becomes inoperable (because running electricity through shit causes it to magically become fixed). Snake goes for a third round, this time on foot, before Shagohod is finally destroyed and Volgin is not killed, since Snake again forgets to check if Volgin died or not. Finally, it looks like the mission's a success when they give their pursuers the slip, but EVA crashes their motorcycle and gets impaled by a tree branch.

Snake has to haul the severely wounded EVA through another stretch of forest, evading the ground pursuit, to reach the WIG that she'd prepared for their exit. Before they arrive, Snake has to tie up one last loose end: The Boss. In a field of white flowers, The Boss tells Snake about the Philosophers in a cutscene that mostly repeats information the player already knows and goes on about twenty fucking minutes too long. The cutscene also includes her role as a secret Mercury Program astronaut, witnessing her country's betrayal in the Bay of Pigs incident, and the loss of her child to the Philosophers after giving birth to him on the shores of Normandy. She calls in an airstrike on their location with a ten minute warning and demands that Snake give her his all, for no real reason.

After beating her in a fight, the Boss lays dying or just sleepy (depending on whether or not you used tranq rounds) in the field. She hands Snake a microfilm containing the Philosophers' Legacy since it was her mission to recover it in the beginning (she didn't complete her mission and fake her death because much like her student, she's an idiot) and asks that he use her gun, the Patriot, to finish her. The white flowers turn blood-red after the shot is fired. Snake boards the WIG, but Ocelot gets on as it's leaving to challenge Snake to a final duel, because his main objective is to ensure the USA gets the philosophers legacy, and he loves trying to prevent his own objective from getting accomplished. He loads one of his two revolvers with a single round, juggles them, and offers the choice to Snake. Depending on which gun you choose and where you choose to shoot it the round is either a blank or an actual bullet. If it's fired at one of them, it's a blank, if it's fired at a wall, the blank magically turns into an actual bullet.

After spending the night in the Alaska safehouse fucking EVA, Snake awakes to find EVA gone and a taped message waiting for him. Her message explains that she was a Chinese spy, not the EVA who was supposed to help Snake during his mission (aka information he should have already known), raised by the Philosophers, taught by The Boss, and that his mission was intended to get the Philosophers' Legacy into the hands of the US government, while her mission was to steal it for the Chinese. When Volgin nuked OKB-752, Snake's mission was changed to include killing The Boss as a scapegoat, because losing the greatest soldier in the world during what could have been the worlds greatest war was deemed 'acceptable'.

Back in the USA, Snake receives the Distinguished Service Cross from President Johnson and the title of Big Boss, ruining the Boss's speech about how there always needing to be one Snake, and one Boss (although the speech didn't make sense anyway as Snake wasn't his only codename). He snubs DCI John McCone on his way out, the man ultimately responsible for the death of The Boss. Snake places the Patriot on The Boss's unmarked grave in Arlington and salutes it, a manly tear rolling down his face.

After the credits, we get the customary Ocelot phone call. He assures the KGB director that Groznyj Grad and the Granin Research Bureau were destroyed, Khrushchev is finished, and the Soviet Union can use the details of the Virtuous Mission and Operation Snake Eater to blackmail America. He then calls the DCI to confirm that EVA's copy of the Philosophers' Legacy is a fake, half of the Legacy has made it to America, the Shagohod is destroyed, and that he'd acquired data on Granin's Metal Gear project that America could find useful. He also reveals that he's the real ADAM, a triple agent working for the KGB, Volgin, and the CIA, which the the DCI already knew but never bothered to mention, because keeping his identity secret was considered more important than insuring the world isn't enveloped in Nuclear War.
MGS4 pretty much confirms that all the surviving FOX unit characters from Snake Eater plus Eva and Ocelot are the founders of the Patriots, this happens off-screen of course even though none of the members are given any hint of being tech-savvy or influential enough to make (and install) world-governing AI's, since any time the series writes itself into a corner, more shit will just happen off-screen.

===Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops===
A game of questionable canon not directed or written by Hideo Kojima. The main antagonist is a bigger Villain Sue than Armstrong and Ocelot put together. Which is saying something because either would whip the floor with him. It was also a considered the worst game until recently (see Survive). Which is what you get when the primary writer is known for making shitty harem novels for morbidly obese otaku and directed by a script writer instead of a real director.

===Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots===

===Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker===
The other direct sequel to Metal Gear Solid 3 on the PSP. A much better game between the two. It should have been released on consoles instead as Big Boss can't move and be in the prone position at the same time. This is where the series starts falling apart. As the real brains behind Metal Gear. Tomokazu Fukushima, left Konami during the early development of MGS4.

===Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance===
Set four years after Guns of the Patriots, Revengeace is a completely different beast from any other Metal Gear game. First off, you play as Raiden for the entire game instead of Snake or Big Boss. Second, since this game was developed by Platinum Games instead of Konami, [[Flesh Tearers|stealth is mostly thrown out the window for glorious carnage]] (you can still try to use stealth when it's applicable to make the game easier, as enemies are vulnerable to insta-kills while you're undetected, but nothing's stopping you from just going in and murderfucking everyone.). And third, the stupid over-the-top tropes Metal Gear Solid was known for are hitched up to eleven. Seriously, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfpeFE4QhU0| look at this shit.] That's the equivalent of tossing around a [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)| Warhound Scout Titan]] like a rag doll.

Long story short, Raiden receives a far more powerful cyborg body and is sent to eliminate Desperado; an off-shoot faction of the Patriots led by U.S Senator Armstrong, known for the "Nanomachines, son" [[meme]] and the most patriotic villain ever known. Besides that the plot is pretty much nonexistent, with Raiden running around and pretty much being the living avatar of [[rip and tear|RIP N' TEAR]]. The plot though did have some really funny moments where Raiden discovered the villains plan to create an army, kidnap children from third-world countries, put their brains in jars, have them remote control robots/cyborgs, and once they were skilled enough put their brains in those bodies so that they could get killed on the battlefield, not to mention there's a part where Raiden just lets a bunch of children die because he's too busy posing to help them out. Much like most of the series, this plan is doomed to failure before it starts when you realize that there's already a far better alternative in the form of nanomachines that make you invincible, they only stop working when it's plot convenient. It also regresses Raidens' character a bit (because much like every MGS sequel, the theme of the previous games are ignored), but nobody really gave a shit about that because of all the over-the-top ninja bullshit he constantly pulls off.

===Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain===

==== Ground Zeroes ====

The story begins with Ground Zeroes, set one year after the events of Peace Walker. It turns out Paz, a close friend to Big Boss is alive, but she is being held in an American Interrogation camp on the southern tip of Cuba. Big Boss originally wanted to assassinate Paz because of her ties to the mysterious Cipher organization and suspects she might may have leaked critical information about the Militaires Sans Frontières. Miller on the other hand doesn't believe this and orders Big Boss to bring her back alive for questioning. Coincidentally, Mother Base is scheduled for a United Nations nuclear weapon inspection just as Miller doubts Paz's betrayal. After rescuing Paz and a young boy named Chico, they find out that Paz had a bomb surgically planted in her abdomen as a setup. After a very gruesome scene of surgically removing the bomb from Paz's body, Big Boss successfully disposes the bomb as Paz tries to recover. They return to Mother Base only to see that it has come under attack by Cipher's covert strike force XOF, meaning the inspection was only smokescreen for an attack. Big Boss manages to save Miller and an unnamed soldier (we find out his real alias is Mosquito, but he comes back later on). They all escape as Mother Base collapses and cue for Miller's famous meme quote "They played us like a damn fiddle!". Miller realizes Big Boss was right and demands answers from Paz. That is until Paz claims there is another bomb inside of her (heavily implied to be in her vagina, what the fuck Kojima) as she falls out of the helicopter and the second bomb inside her explodes causing the helicopter to lose control and crashes into another helicopter.

==== The Phantom Pain ====

Big Boss manages to survive the crash but falls into a coma for nine years. A pretty cool opening scene of Big Boss waking up to ''The Man Who Sold the World'' in a hospital bed in Cyprus. The doctors show Big Boss after the explosion that not only did he get shrapnel sticking out of his head and the inside of his body, but he also lost his left forearm in the process. The following night an assassin kills the doctors who took care of Big Boss and nearly kills Big Boss himself. That is until another patient stops the assassin and sets her on fire causing her to jump out the window. The patient reveals himself as 'Ishmael' and helps Big Boss escape (This isn't the only reference to the book Moby Dick, Ishmael calls Big Boss 'Ahab' while Big Boss is equipped with a hook hand prosthetic). As they both approach the elevator, they encounter a child wearing a gas mask and a straight jacket floating in the air (we know what you're thinking and yes, that is Psycho Mantis as a little kid) and a man covered in fire. Since gunfire is useless against him his only weakness is water. They both see that XOF units start killing the patients and hospital staff to ensure there are no witnesses. It becomes clear that they were sent in to eliminate Big Boss after finding out he had just woken up. After facing certain death against XOF soldiers and the Man of Fire, Big Boss and Ishmael escape the hospital using an ambulance. Unfortunately, the ambulance gets attacked by XOF forces and crashes. Big Boss survives, but Ishmael has disappeared leaving Big Boss to fend for himself. Just as an XOF helicopter is hovering over Big Boss, Psycho Mantis shows up then suddenly a giant fucking whale covered in fire swallows the helicopter and destroys it. To make things even more ridiculous, the Man of Fire shows up again riding a fucking winged unicorn made of fire. Luckily, a man riding a horse shows up to Big Boss' aid and that man is none other than Revolver Ocelot (now voiced by Troy Baker). After a chase ensues between the Man of Fire and Big Boss and Ocelot, they both manage to escape. Ocelot reminds Big Boss of what has happened before he fell into a coma and wants to help him and Miller rebuild their private army. It turns out Miller was captured by the Soviets and is being held for interrogation in Afghanistan. Big Boss joins up with Ocelot and sets out for Afghanistan.

===Metal Gear Survive===

A portal in the sky transports you to an alternate dimension after Mother Base was destroyed by XOF, where the Wolbachia parasite has mutated everyone into Romero-like [[zombie]]s. As the name implies; your objective is to survive. Its basically every indie survival horror game you see on Steam, except this comes in with a hefty pricetag of 40 USD/EUR.

From the recent trailers that came out; many people are already turned off by it, citing it as a mediocre survival horror game. As the first game ever worked on without Kojima's input, it easily be called the worst Metal Gear yet and even more inept than Kojima ever was. The story is worse than Snake's Revenge and makes Bethesda era [[Fallout]] look good with sentient nanomachines from the 22nd century via time travel as the main villain. Right out plagiarizing another video game made by Sqaure Enix, Gunslinger Stratos. Just without the alternate universe dopplegangers.

Proving once again that Gakuto Mikumo(who wrote the shitty story of Portable Ops) is a [[Isekai|no talent hack like most light novel writers]]. Blatantly ignoring that the real future of the Metal Gear universe is the much superior Zone of the Enders.(Sahelanthropus looks like a much less advanced Jehuty.)
Most of the game mechanics are a ripoff of Fortnite. The characters are bland and calling you every 30 seconds for who knows what. You are reminded to take food and drink often but it's very difficult to get either. The main character from the single player campaign is a [[Original_character,_do_not_steal|blatant ripoff of Chris Redfeild.]] While the player character is a mute because they couldn't afford to higher real voice actors.
Most real fans would rather let the franchise die at this point and Konami just put the final nail in the coffin. They could have let Platinum make another Metal Gear Rising or remade the 8-bit era games. [[/pol/|Don't mention that to the Survive fanboys who call Kojima a hack or haters cucks or they will have an albino chimp out.]] [[derp|Who claim this garbage is the best Metal Gear game since MGS2.]]

==See Also==
[[Metal Gear Vindicare]]

[[BattleTech]]

==Gallery==
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Image: MSG Agent Chart.png|Create your own MSG Agent!
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[[Category: Video_Games]]
[[Category: Under_Development]]
[[Category:Meme]]

Metal Gear

2018-02-23T07:57:46Z

2601:147:4200:6280:2450:6AB1:452C:5E62: /* Metal Gear Survive */

[[File: MSG Title.jpeg|thumb|right|Metal Gear Solid title]]
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{{Spoilers}}
If you're here on the Internet and have ''not'' heard of Metal Gear or Metal Gear Solid, you're obviously pretty new or just straight up ignorant... But for the sake [[/tg/]] and everyone, we'll help.

Metal Gear and the subsequent games coming after it are action-adventure stealth games starting in 1987. While Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2 on the <strike>EN EE ESS</strike> EM ES EX TWO were well-received and iconic, it was Metal Gear Solid in 1998 on the PEE ESS JUAN that changed not only the franchise but third-person shooters in general and practically being the herald of stealth games. Though each game has a different story, it typically follows the supersoldier agent Solid Snake or Big Boss during the 21st century and the Cold War as he infiltrates something, destroys whatever's inside, and is a badass while doing it. We would explain more of the story here but honestly it gets stupidly complicated with government conspiracies, clones, ghosts, [[meme|sudden but inevitable betrayals]], and many more. While somewhat grounded in reality it has a very obvious sci-fi feel to it, similar to [[BattleTech]], [[Shadowrun]], and in some ways [[Warhammer 40,000|Warhammer 40K]]. Bedsides it's well crafted game play and sometimes uneven plot, Metal Gear is mainly known for it's [[memes]].

==Metal Gear and /tg/==
Like much of the Internet and 4chan, /tg/ has a pretty distinct love for Metal Gear. We've had several quest threads following the Metal Gear universe, most notably [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Metal%20Gear:%20Rise%20from%20Ashes%20Quest| Rise from Ashes] and [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Revengeance%20Quest| Revengeance Quest]. While there's not a definitive homebrew for it, there's limitless potential and [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38662709/| that certainly hasn't stopped us from trying].

[[Metal Gear Vindicare]] is a pretty obvious /tg/-MSG relation, being inspired by the famous codec used by Solid Snake in the game. Centers around [[Love Can Bloom]] with <s>[[Doomrider]] as a special guest.</s> '''DO COCAAAAIIIINNE!'''

A lot of things about Metal Gear correlate with the interests of fa/tg/uys. Despite what most people think, /tg/ loves their [[tau|giant]] [[Adeptus Evangelion|robots]], which Metal Gear Solid has in spades. There's also a good enough amount of both [[grimdark]] and [[Orks|hilarious stupidity]] to keep a wide variety of neckbeards entertained.

==Characters==
===Solid Snake===
[[File: Solid Snake codec.png|thumb|left|I ''am'' happy]]
The protagonist for most of the games. He starts out his career in Metal Gear as a rookie FOXHOUND agent, uncovering the existence of the Metal Gear and the double-crossing of his superior, Big Boss. He later discovers that he's actually the clone-son of Big Boss, created for reasons that change from game to game. Snake spends the rest of the games fighting Big Bosses' other clones as well as uncovering the grand conspiracy his father had been retconned into fighting, while people talk about how hard the life that he chooses to live is even though it's his own fucking choice. He finally ends his career in Metal Gear Solid 4, his clone-genes rapidly degenerating and near the end of his life (by the time he's in his mid-thirties he's in his late sixties biologically, complete with heart problems and seizures). But he doesn't get to die before finally making amends with his father in a rather hilarious moment where Big Boss is convinced that unless he kills a really old man who was essentially a vegetable the whole series could happen again. In terms of personality there's not much to say, besides him wanting to lead huskies in the Iditarod if he were to ever retire.

===Big Boss===
[[File:Big Boss Salute.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|Good night, sweet prince.]]
Basically [[General Sturnn]]. But with an eye-patch. [[Farsight]] seems to take a lot of inspiration from him too.

While initially portrayed as the villain due to how much he loved war so he could get child soldiers to train into regular soldiers, one could argue whether or not his actions were justified given the later retcon of the Patriots existence (and then they'd remember that whole child soldier bit). Big Boss stars as the protagonist of all the Metal Gear games before Solid begins his career, dating back to the 1960s when he was known as Naked Snake (get it?). Naked Snake discovers the progenitor of Metal Gear in Soviet Russia while also being "betrayed" by his former leader, The Boss. After an arms deal goes wrong, he chooses to kill her to cover up America's involvement, which leaves a lasting impact for the rest of his life and was betrayed by his love interest, EVA, because nobody on the team realized that the agent he was supposed to meet (a man) was actually replaced by EVA (a woman). He decides to abandon the United States (even though patriotism was the theme of the previous game) and create his own military group "Militaires Sans Frontieres," the very mercenary group to have ever existed in the MGS world, later called "Diamond Dogs," while fighting his own shadow war against former comrade Zero who turned evil offscreen and is the founder of the Patriots (also happens offscreen). After fighting a number of early Metal Gear models, Big Boss began building a few Metal Gears of his own to try and even the odds. During a battle against one of the Patriots' splinter groups, Cypher, Big Boss pussies out and decides "Fuck this war, somebody else can deal with this shit" and leaves a body double, Venom Snake, to become the public face of his PMC while he fucked off to who knows where. Originally Big Boss fought Solid Snake in MG1 and died, this was retconned in MG2 where they said he didn't die, just had lots of his body replaced with machinery, and retconned into Venom Snake died instead in MG1, while Big Boss entered into a coma after MG2 until he was revived just after the patriots were defeated (nobody bothered to check to make sure he was dead).
He can also bench press 200 simi odd ton tanks and recharge batteries by eating glowing mushrooms for [[Orks| some reason.]]

===Gray Fox===
Initially just an NPC with some backstory as FOXHOUND's best soldier. In Metal Gear 2 he's retconned as Solid Snake's best friend in Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake.([[Fail| To differentiate it from the load of fail that was Metal Gear 2 on the NES]]) Mid-way into the game in he is revealed as the second in command of Zanzibar Land under Big Boss & the pilot of the first real Metal Gear battle and first of the melee only boss battles, with [[Mekboy | land minds surrounding boss arena]]. Because the AI was shit (and he isn't the player character) he loses to Snake. He also kills his girlfriend accidentally in one of the most heavily foreshadowed scenes of all time.
In Metal Gear Solid he comes back as the first [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Cyborg Ninja]] as a tutorial battle for the game's melee system. [[Railroading| In short telling the player how to beat him.]] His final act is damaging Metal Gear Rex with some kind of [[Skub|laser or plasma weapon]] that he didn't have in previous appearances before being squished by Metal Gear. So Snake can finally defeat Rex with his Stinger Missiles. Also appears in a prequel game of [[C.S. Goto|questionable canon]].
Later on his backstory was expanded a little more, and it was revealed that he was a child soldier fighting in an area well known for their child soldiers, and he was able to amass a large kill-streak because none of his enemies thought that child soldiers existed, [[Fail|in an area full of them.]]
His ability to lower the intelligence of everyone he met impressed the CIA, who decided to make him into the perfect soldier, unfortunately this ability affected the CIA too and they assumed that wiping all of his memories, including the memory of any martial art he knew or fought against, would make him a better fighter.
He also later murdered the parents of Naomi, then chose to adopt her, because why not? Naomi is also the person who turns him into a cyborg and then lets him loose, knowing full well that he'll want another rematch against Snake, and knowing full well that if Snake failed to complete the mission a Nuke could be launched against the US, though luckily assisting in the act of nuclear terrorism only gets you a verbal reprimand, so she gets away just fine.

===Liquid Snake===
[[File:Brother Liquid.png|thumb|right|Liquid quite literally most of the time.]]
The antagonist of Metal Gear Solid and Snake's clone brother. Liquid has a distinctly British accent and blond hair. According to the game's very loose grasp of genetics, Liquid inherited all the recessive genes of Big Boss, while Snake inherited all the dominant genes, and because of this he believed he was made from "inferior genes" and that's the reason he's evil. No seriously, the entire reason he's evil is because he doesn't like how he looks, and thus becomes Doctor Doom. Even as a child, he was a surprisingly competent soldier, giving Venom Snake (who he believed was his father Big Boss) a lot of headaches when he started acting out, he also murdered kids and stole the Metal Gear Venom Snake had before vanishing in a cliffhanger that never got resolved in the main series (you'll have to look to youtube to see what they wanted to do). Liquid would have died from Skull Face's parasite had he not become BFFs with his future comrade, Psycho Mantis who had the ability to do pretty much everything, and was retconned into being possessed by Liquid since Psycho Mantis now gets possessed by non-Psychic people, even though he's wearing his mask which was designed to stop peoples thoughts from entering his head. Liquid has massive Daddy issues (the aforementioned genes) and is incredibly stupid, which lead him to rebel against the US government and seize Metal Gear REX for himself. He also really hates Snake for the same aforementioned gene issue, possessing a really intense inferiority complex and needing to constantly prove himself. Also turned Gray Fox into a blood puddle, because can't aim a [[fail|laser for crap]]. Snake fights him several times, including shooting down his helicopter and Metal Gear Rex, but the bastard JUST. WON'T. DIE. Of course he finally does die from an engineered virus... sort of. "Liquid" takes possession of Ocelot but this was retconned out later so it doesn't matter.

===Ocelot===
A Russian gunslinger and a guy with a LOT of mixed loyalties that make no sense when you think about it. Formerly a member of GRU (the Soviet Military's version of the civilian KGB) and a secret agent for the USA, Ocelot joined with Big Boss (due to wanting to fuck him), helping him in secret despite nominally being a member of the Patriots (and later deciding to destroy them). Ocelot joined Liquid's rebellion, but only to act as the Patriot's inside man and steal the plans for Metal Gear REX, even though as the governing intelligence they would already have had them. He also manages to steal Metal Gear RAY, but at this point he starts acting out his secret plan to destroy the Patriots from within. How does he do this? Well....

# [[What|Pretend to be possessed by the ghost of Liquid]] and steal Metal Gear RAY which was later retconned into him using hypnosis to make himself think he's Liquid, which gives him all of Liquid's personalities and skills, because that's what happens in this universe (it's how Big Boss made his body double too).
# Use one of the Patriots' AI to infiltrate their system and take effective control over their military assets, because AI who know that the new AI will be under Liquid's control will just hand it to him and wait to die.
# When the patriots send Snake after him, put up a convincing show of resistance by attempting to kill him multiple times.
# Steal the railgun off of Metal Gear REX and aim it at the Patriots' main satellite, which is still armed with a live nuke because nobody in the government told their successors about the nuke, because written logs don't exist in this world, everything is passed down through word of mouth, and the patriots forgot that the nuke was there too.
# Hope that Snake is still alive at this point and that he's developed the worm necessary to kill the Patriots AI, which Liquid could have done at any time so he wouldn't have had to worry about all the earlier bullshit.
# Fistfight him bare-chested until you die of exhaustion.
# ???
# Profit!
Yeah... when we talk about how convoluted the story is, it's usually Ocelot's fault. Still, for an elderly old bastard, he's pretty damn badass. Dude can also pull off some [[/co/|Taskmaster]] level shit and bite CQC moves from his opponents. He's also the third canon cyborg via replacing Liquid's Arm with a prosthetic and [[What|dented his own ship with it.]]

Also, he has a [[Slaanesh| torture fetish]] and is a [[Furry|furry old fuck.]]

===Otacon===
The [[weeaboo]] of the series. We're not exaggerating, by the way. He wanted to work on Metal Gear REX specifically because he's obsessed with [[anime]]. Otacon is your typical nerdy support character, giving Snake technical assistance in his fight against the Metal Gears and is the only reason REX was able to be defeated because he intentionally developed it with an exploitable weak spot that would have made it a hindrance against on the battlefield. This carries over to the next several games where he'll design something far inferior to what already existed, only to let you use that better thing later on anyway. He's also a quite literally hopeless romantic, as his two romantic interests ended up dying. Though to be honest, the first was a terrorist who showed no real interest in him, and the second was Naomi, who upon realizing she had cancer that wasn't doing a fucking thing because she stopped it with nanomachines, decided to commit suicide. Also we learn that his dad committed suicide because he had sex with his stepmom. Yeah.

===Huey===
Otacon's dad. Despite having the same general appearance, voice actor, and role as Otacon, Huey deserves special mention for how much of a [[that guy|cock]] he is and how despite all his faults, Otacon is infinitely more tolerable. So, he's a paraplegic engineer who got drafted by the CIA into helping to build Peace Walker, not realizing how insane the project really is (this is a persistent theme for him). After being rescued by Big Boss, Huey works for him and develops Metal Gear ZEKE as a counter to the various AI weapons the CIA had built. He also ended up marrying his design partner, the heavily-implied-to-have-had-a-lesbian-crush-on-The-Boss Dr. Strangelove, with whom they had a son named Hal (aka Otacon). Now, here's where the dark shit settles in: <s> after getting tricked by Cipher into letting them onto Mother Base to destroy it </s> after selling out Big Boss and MSF to Cipher, Huey gets abducted and is forced to work on a new Metal Gear, Sahelanthropus. Because the cockpit can't fit a full-sized human, he tries to get his son Hal to pilot it. Strangelove vehemently opposes this, so he ends up stuffing her inside an AI pod to suffocate. After getting recaptured by Big Boss, he insists that he never betrayed him and that he wasn't willingly working for Cipher. But after Big Boss succeeds in defeating Skull Face, Huey steals the vocal chord parasite and makes it more deadly by making it immune to its original antidote in an attempt to sell it to Cipher for protection, even having the gall to call Big Boss a murderer for mercy-killing the men Huey infected. Naturally, this pisses off Big Boss, so he sends him adrift on a tiny life raft. Huey lives out the rest of his days being a bad parent, eventually drowning himself (and nearly drowning his stepdaughter) when he found out Hal had sex with his new wife. After learning all that, one can only imagine how badly Hal was treated and feel some genuine pity for him.

===Meryl===
Colonel Roy Campbell's daughter (he told everyone she was his niece because he didn't want them to know her mother had an affair with him) and the only FOXHOUND agent to not join Liquid's rebellion. She starts out as a rookie way in over her head, but she helps out Snake by providing him with useful information. Snake also starts to develop a romantic interest in her after all the shit they go through, and then dumps her to go hunt Metal Gears because Snake decided that Metal Gears shouldn't exist, a plan which was doomed to failure since their design was on the internet and literally everyone could download it. In Metal Gear Solid, depending on whether Snake submits to Ocelot's torture, Meryl lives or dies at the end of the game. This is later retconned in Metal Gear Solid 4, where she lives but also learns the truth that she's Roy's daughter, not his niece, which pisses her off. Meryl becomes the commander of her own unit which she names after the group who tried to kill her, and decides that because at this point Snake's turned into a crusty old fart, she's going to marry her perpetually incontinent subordinate stalker (he saw her once and was then pining for her years after the fact), who's also a weeaboo.

===Raiden===
He's introduced as the "true" protagonist of Metal Gear Solid 2, but his original appearance is nowhere near as badass as Snake. He's a [[Fulgrim|white-haired effeminate Bishie]] that tends to rile up most people who loathe anime stereotypes. Raiden starts out as a Child Soldier in Africa (despite being whiter than white-out) before being taken in by the Patriots as their successor to Solid Snake. He's lived nearly his entire life in simulations and being fucked over by AIs. Once he's actually let out into the real world to stop Solidus and his terror cell, he meets Snake, and together they discover the existence of the Patriots.

Raiden gets a significant upgrade after MGS2, where he gets kidnapped by the Patriots and has his entire body below his upper jaw cut off and replaced by a cyborg ninja body (akin to a reverse [[Ferrus Manus]]). Everyone agrees that his version of Raiden is much better, and he ends up starring in the spin-off game Metal Gear Rising, where he uses his sword and ninja athleticism to fight other cyborgs and a regular human who was stronger than him due to having [[Flash Gitz| a better weapon, Power Armor]] and skills. In the Metal Gear verse your top of the line upgrades are [[Games Workshop|barely useful in less than four years]].

===Solidus===
The last of Big Bosses' clones, Solidus was much more under the control of the Patriots, sometimes. He spent some time fighting in Africa, where he picked up an orphaned Raiden and turned him into a pawn of the Patriots. While he was eventually made President, this really didn't count for much as the Patriots still made all the decisions and he was basically a puppet. Solidus decides that he's had enough of this shit and steals the Patriots' new warship, Arsenal Gear, and decides to take the fight directly to them. Of course, this didn't end well for him when Snake and Raiden interfere and the ship crashes into Manhattan. He gets killed by Raiden, sort of-not really as nobody bothered to check the body (falling into a coma instead of dying), but his body ends up being a macguffin because his DNA is an exact match to Big Boss, allowing Ocelot to hack into the Patriots network, because even though the Patriots know what's happening and could stop it they let it happen anyway.

===The Patriots===
Also known as "Cipher", or "La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo" if you're under their direct control since they decided the best way to hide their name is telling everyone that they can't say their name. Financed by the inheritance of the 20th Century's wealthiest men, the Patriots control literally everything. Originally this was a group formed by Big Boss, Zero, Sigint, Para-Medic, Ocelot, and Eva in order to fulfill The Boss' wishes of uniting the world and ending the Cold War since the entire series is based around people wanting to do what The Boss wanted to do, despite most of them having minimal attachment to the boss at best. However, this group split in half over differences on how to fulfill this vision. Zero wanted to control the entire world and all facets of human life through all-knowing AIs, while Big Boss wanted to create "Outer Heaven," a place where soldiers would always belong and not be the puppets of governments (because having people always ready to fight would obviously mean everyone becomes peaceful and happy). When Zero went comatose, the group was taken over for a short time by Skull Face, the guy responsible for cleaning up the mess in MGS3 even though there wasn't anyone like that originally (retcon) and the location should have made it impossible. He wanted to fulfill the Boss' vision by eliminating language itself using a language-based parasite because he believed that a persons personality and way of thinking had everything to do with the language they spoke (he was also retarded). Eventually the Patriots was controlled by Five AIs: JD, GW, TJ, AL, & TR (John Doe, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and Theodore Roosevelt respectively) who had no self preservation whatsoever. These AIs decided that the best thing to unite the world was to plunge it into perpetual conflict and proxy wars, bringing together the worst of Zero's and Big Boss' visions and directly working against everything the series said they were working towards. The Patriots AI were killed off when Snake unwittingly uploaded a worm that killed all of them, finally freeing the world from their influence.

==Types of Metal Gears==
If the title of the game didn't hint at it enough, a prominent part of the game(s) are these giant mechs called (you guessed it) Metal Gears. In the beginning they're simply mobile platforms to launch nuclear weapons, but they evolve to fulfill many other roles and become far more dangerous in general.

'''Shagohod''': Technically not a Metal Gear, but created the precedent for mobile nuclear platforms. This crazy contraption was basically a giant armored hovercraft (Move Trough Cover) that would rocket-boost (one-turn Fast Tank) in order to give its nuclear payload an extra boost and was designed to launch nukes from any surface, giving the Soviet Union the edge in the Cold War. Of course the whole point of the Cold War was that both sides were fucked if ANY nukes were launched so it became pointless before it was built. It also had point-defenses up the wazzoo.

'''Metal Gear RAXA''': The first proper Metal Gear ever built. A four-legged Metal Gear that could be launched from a ICBM. If you're asking why in the fuck they have to use a Metal Gear as a middleman nuclear platform when they're already launching it from an ICBM, supposedly it's because the missiles are harder to intercept on the Metal Gear than on the ICBM... but who's to say they can't intercept the ICBM carrying the Metal Gear?

'''Peace Walker''': A four-legged walker that was fully AI controlled. It's described as having a stealth frame, but it wouldn't exactly be hard to spot considering the size of the thing. It could only fire nukes defensively, but could be tricked into launching a premature attack through a plot that understood little to nothing of mutually assured destruction.

'''Metal Gear ZEKE''': Big Boss' first attempt at a Metal Gear, this one was fully bipedal. Originally it was AI controlled too, but was modified to use a human pilot when Cypher attempted to steal it, the modifications being completed in days or minutes depending on when you last checked it, and nobody guarding it thought that it was a good idea to stop the modifications that weren't supposed to happen, and the two people doing them would never have been able to make them in the first place. This metal gear was also customizable and could be sent out on combat missions alongside MSF soldiers.

'''Sahelanthropus''': This one was designed by Otacon's Dad, Huey. While technically more advanced than Metal Gear REX in that it could walk upright, one flaw was that the cockpit was too small for a full-sized human. Cypher got around this by using Pyscho Mantis to control it psychically, because in Phantom Pain Psycho Mantis could do whatever he wanted, which makes you question why they need robots when they already have control over a superhuman. Sahelanthropus is also the absolute proof of why Metal Gears are useless (as if Metal Gear: Rising didn't already do that), despite costing millions to make and countless resources, it's easily defeated by a man on a man-sized robot that would have cost a fraction of the resources to develop, and if it didn't have the ability to create clouds that destroyed metal, it could have been easily defeated by one tank.

'''TX-55''': The Metal Gear that appears in the first game (which is now chronologically not the first one). This model didn't have that many frills, it was simply a robot that could fire nukes. It does nothing while Snake just uses C4 to blow it up and dodges the [[Rage|annoying laser cameras]]. Presumably it's the most durable one because the only way to hurt it is to use a shitload of C4 on its legs in a certain order, because that's how explosives work.

'''Metal Gear D''': The first real Metal Gear the player ever fights in the release order. An upgraded version of TX-55. It only had a machine guns and missiles during it's boss battle. It's sprite makes it look as if could launch [[Anal_circumference|six nukes one after another]].

'''Metal Gear REX''': This dinosaur-looking motherfucker takes the original Metal Gear concept one step further by firing nukes from a [[Tau|railgun]] instead of a ballistic missile, making nukes nearly impossible to track (though it was never designed to do so, it just happened to work out that way). It also had a badass assortment of weaponry, from Gatling Guns to crotch lasers and a crap-ton of missiles. Liquid only uses the anti tank missiles. Even after Snake battled it in MGS1, it was still tough enough to take on RAY in MGS4. After MGS1, hundreds of REX knockoffs started spreading throughout the world thanks to Ocelot's douchebaggery.

'''Metal Gear RAY''': Designed to be the ultimate anti-Metal Gear weapon, RAY failed fucking hard in that regard. It's amphibious by design, and instead of carrying nukes, its weapons include a powerful water cannon that can cut metal. Despite being built specifically to fight Metal Gears, it still loses in a fight against an already damaged Metal Gear REX. For some reason Ocelot never uses the laser or the missile spam attack seen in Metal Gear Solid 2 when he pilots the manned version in MGS4. Still not a cake walk though since you need too spam the fire button instead of holding it down to make this fight easier. Since Metal Gear battles that are not the first boss hardly ever are.
The others seen in MGS2 and Rising are unmanned knockoffs.

'''Metal Gear RAY MOD0''': An upgrade over RAY seen in Metal Gear Rising. With the rise of carbon nano-tube tech; the armor was made lighter and stronger, allowing it to carry more weapons. Upgrades include: 4 limb-mounted twin-linked gatling guns, micro and macro missile launchers, an HF arm blade roughly the size of a small building, and a mouth-mounted plasma cannon. Despite all this, every last one of these guys encountered were destroyed by some Rhodesian weeaboo ninja with a sharp stick and a smart-talking Brazilian samurai with an incomprehensibly powerful sword and fighting technique.

'''Metal Gear EXCELSUS''': Not really a Metal Gear, it was only named so for marketing reasons, but still impractically awesome either way. Seen only in Metal Gear Rising; EXCELSUS was meant as an anti-cyborg gear, because cyborgs were becoming too powerful for conventional warfare. Due to this, people thought the only counter to this was to go back to making giant mechs with impractically large and powerful weapons (under the logic that if you can't outmanuver them; outgun them). EXCELSUS is basically a scorpion-shaped mech roughly as tall and wide a sports stadium and armed with two giant HF blades and twin plasma cannons. Its destroyed by Raiden in the most hilariously over-the-top way possible; he bodyslams it to the ground, rips one of it's arm blades off, and engages it in an arm-wrestling match with one of it's severed arms.

'''Gekko''': Quite possibly the dumbest looking mechs in science fiction, the Gekkos are small Metal Gears made up of a combination of synthetic organic muscle and mechanical technology. They have the head/upper body of a REX, but they have a pair of lizard legs to walk around on. You'd think that those legs would be easy pickings for bullets, but actually they won't buckle for anything less than explosives. They also allow the GEKKO to jump really high, climb on walls, and sweep kick you, so good luck running away from them. They also moo like cows and take shits. Seriously. We're not fucking joking.

==Plot==
===Metal Gear ===
The original NES port of Metal was a load of [[fail]]. Proving that even thirty years ago PC gaming is superior to consoles. Seriously some of the maps are removed and a few of the boss battles have been changed. It also takes out Big Boss's [[Troll|importance to the original plot.]] Reading about Phantom Pain first will be spoilers for this game so be warned.

===Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake===
Subtitle included because the original non-canon Metal Gear 2 NES is a run and gun shooter with a story that [[Spiritual_liege| makes less sense then usual]].

===Metal Gear Solid===
Snake's decided to retire from the spy business after having to kill his father <s>twice</s> once (first one was actually Venom Snake) to live out his dream of training racing huskies in the Alaskan wilderness. But Colonel Campbell comes knocking at his door, telling him that FOXHOUND's turned traitor and have taken a nuclear disposal facility hostage. After getting some weird shots from Dr. Naomi Hunter, he gets his SCUBA on and sneaks into the base. There he quickly discovers that the leader of the rebellion is Liquid Snake, Solid Snake's clone brother with a massive hate-boner for both their father and himself. The other FOXHOUND members include Revolver Ocelot, Decoy Octopus, Vulcan Raven, Sniper Wolf, and Psycho Mantis; the only FOXHOUND agent who didn't join the rebellion was Campbell's niece Meryl. After sneaking around the base trying to rescue the hostages, both Darpa Chief Donald Anderson (Sigint in MGS3) and Armstech President Kenneth Baker die suddenly of a heart attack mid-conversation. Snake later learns that the shot he received earlier was actually the FOXDIE virus, a genome-specific disease that kills specific individuals (and that the Darpa Chief was actually Decoy Octopus, whereas the real one had already died from torture). Furthermore, the nuclear disposal facility is actually a secret testing ground for the newest Metal Gear model, Metal Gear REX.

Snake tracks down REX's designer, Otacon, just as he's been cornered by a creepy cyborg ninja. Said ninja is actually Gray Fox, Snake's old BFF who's gone completely mental. (Naomi later reveals that she's not only Gray Fox's sister and wants to kill Snake for what he did to him, but also modified FOXDIE so that he'll be targeted as well at a random time... except wouldn't he already have been a target since he and Liquid have the exact same genome? Kojima just doesn't understand genetics at all.) After fighting him off, Otacon helps out Snake in finding out how to stop the terrorists from using REX's stealth nuke capabilities. Snake also meets up with Meryl, who gives him the PAL card needed to disarm Metal Gear REX. After fighting Psycho Mantis (Who has a memorable boss fight in which he literally blanks the entire screen and forces you to change controllers) and Vulcan Raven, Snake is captured by Sniper Wolf after she shoots Meryl, while Ocelot tortures Snake. Here, if Snake submits to the torture, Meryl dies at the end, otherwise she survives. Anyway, with Otacon's help, Snake is able to escape captivity, destroys Liquid's helicopter, defeats Sniper Wolf, and sneaks into Rex's lair. After defeating Vulcan Raven a second time, Snake finally reaches REX itself, figuring out that the system requires three key cards to disarm even though he only has the one. However, Otacon tells him that [[what|he already has all three key cards]] because its designed to change shape with temperature. So after traipsing around in the lair he disarms REX... [[fail|except that it was all a ruse and he ended up arming it instead]]. Liquid takes control of REX and challenges Snake to a fight. Luckily Gray Fox intervenes and helps to expose REX's cockpit, allowing Snake to shoot at liquid directly. Que a fistfight atop Rex, followed by the sudden reveal that the Secretary of State is going to bomb the whole island to cover the entire incident up, followed by a high-speed chase in which Liquid attempts to kill Snake one last time. Finally Liquid succumbs to FOXDIE while Snake and Otacon or Meryl walk away with him into the rising sun.

Que one final cutscene in which Ocelot is revealed to have survived, and has stolen the plans for Metal Gear REX, under orders of President Solidus Snake.

===Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty===
Hoo boy, this is where the series starts getting weird. After the events of MGS, Snake and Otacon form an NGO that tracks and monitors the proliferation of Metal Gear platforms around the world. When Otacon gets a tip that the US Marine Corps has a new super Metal Gear designed specifically to fight other MGs, Snake sneaks onboard the oil tanker it's hidden in to get proof. A Russian mercenary company also boards the ship, killing the Marines on patrol and making Snake's job just that much harder. Snake incapacitates the mercs' field commander and finds Metal Gear RAY in the deep holds of the ship. He also finds Revolver Ocelot, who declares that he's "taking it back" for the Patriots, kills the Marine commandant, and takes RAY, sinking the ship in the process. Snake is presumed killed in action.

Two years later, a terrorist group called "the Sons of Liberty" take over the Big Shell cleanup rig at the site of the tanker's sinking and take hostages, including the President of the United States. FOXHOUND sends in a covert operative to rescue the hostages and take out the Sons of Liberty, whose leader claims to be Solid Snake. The operative, code named "Raiden," gets jerked around by his handler Colonel Campbell, his data analyst and girlfriend Rosemary, and a SEAL Team 10 survivor named Iroquois Plisken (Solid Snake in a totally unconvincing disguise) as they track down the Sons of Liberty, disarm explosives, and have long, rambling conversations on the nature of free will.

The events of this operation play out suspiciously like the events of the Shadow Moses operation in the previous game, culminating in the reveal that the whole thing was an attempt by the Patriots to replicate the circumstances that led to Solid Snake's transformation into one of the most effective operators in the world, using Raiden as a test subject. Ocelot got an arm transplant with Liquid Snake as the donor, and now Liquid's ghost can possess him. The Sons of Liberty were pawns, despite "Solid Snake" (actually Solidus, the third Snake) thinking he was rebelling against them by doing this. Dead Cell, the US Navy anti-terror unit created by President Sears (again, actually Solidus) to test military security, was used as a stand-in for the rogue FOXHOUND operatives from Shadow Moses, the Patriots liquidating them in order to drive them into Solidus's arms. Dead Cell member Fortune's entire misfortunate history (losing her father, husband, and unborn child) was engineered by the Patriots. The mysterious cyborg that's helping Raiden is Olga Gurlukovich, the Russian merc commander forced to work for the Patriots lest they kill the daughter they stole from her. The President was a willing participant in the entire charade because he wanted the power that being part of the Patriots could offer. The Big Shell is a cover for the construction of Arsenal Gear, an aircraft carrier-sized platform for monitoring and censoring Internet traffic and protected by two dozen RAY drones. The oil spill was created by the Patriots to justify the construction of Big Shell (remember the conspicuous lack of any oil in the tanker).

And then the narrative goes totally off the rails. Otacon's sister Emma, rescued by Raiden and then killed by Dead Cell operative Vamp, delivers a computer worm that Otacon uses to infect Arsenal Gear, then Snake sucker punches Raiden to get him brought into Arsenal. The Colonel starts going berserk, calling Raiden with nonsense and gibberish. Snake finds Raiden's gear, gives it back, and also gives him a high-frequency sword that becomes his signature weapon henceforth. Battling to the core of Arsenal, Raiden fights its entire complement of RAYs with a Stinger missile system. Solidus, the Patriots, and "Liquid" Ocelot all reveal their goals: to hunt down the Patriots, to control global information context, and to find and destroy the Patriots, respectively. Arsenal Gear crashes into the Lower West Side of Manhattan, and Solidus and Raiden fight on the roof of Federal Hall.

With Solidus dead, Raiden and Snake figure out what to do next. Snake and Otacon plan to mine the worm's code for information on the Patriots while Raiden reunites with Rose (who is totally real and not living in Canada), finally remembering why April 30th is so important to her: it was the day they first met.

===Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater===
Chronologically the first game in the series, MGS3 is pretty much a Fix Fic for the [[C.S. Goto|half assed story of MGS2]]. Force Operation X drops one of their operatives, Naked Snake, into Soviet territory to help scientist Nikolai Stepanovich Sokolov defect. Again (Major Zero of FOX had to give him back to the Soviets to end the Cuban Missile Crisis just days after crossing the Berlin Wall). Just as Snake is leaving with Sokolov, they are surrounded by KGB agents. Ocelot, a young major in GRU, arrives, kills the KGB agents with a dazzling display of gunplay, and then gets his ass handed to him by Snake. A sporting chap, Snake offers Ocelot tips on his gun handling before Ocelot passes out. Before they can leave, The Boss arrives in the AO, declaring her own defection to the Soviet Union. This is later revealed to be a ploy, though it should have been obvious to anyone with a brain that it was a ruse since the government told you she was on a nuclear sub and if her defection really was legit then they wouldn't have known where she was. If this was legit, this also means that they would have lost sight of not only the greatest soldier in the world, but her entire unit. She breaks Snake's arm for no reason other than to be an asshole and throws him off a rope bridge. Colonel Volgin of GRU uses an M388 Davey Crockett, given to him by The Boss, to destroy Sokolov's design bureau, thus ending the Cold War, as this is now an American nuke brought into Russia by an American and fired by a defector. Everyone still calls it the Cold War anyway because this plot point is forgotten almost immediately once the intro is over.

In order to stop a full-scale war, America has to prove to Russia that they were not behind the attack on OKB-752, a plan doomed to failure because they obviously were and it's revealed in the end that they definitely were. Major Zero is forced to send Snake back into action with only two weeks to heal, his new mission: rescue Sokolov, kill The Boss (for some reason), her team (the Cobra Unit), and Colonel Volgin, and destroy Volgin's pet project, the Shagohod. In exchange, the Soviets will provide access to a communication satellite and two spies, NSA defectors codenamed ADAM and EVA.

Snake is inserted into the area of operation again, but The Boss finds him and destroys his weapon and insertion vehicle because she's an asshole who likes working directly against her main objective, alerting the Russian ground forces to his presence. Snake meets a woman who claims she's EVA, even though she doesn't provide the counter-phrase "La Li Lu Le Lo" to Snake's question "Who are the Patriots?" Which should have told not only him but everyone involved that she wasn't who she said she was, and nobody read EVA's file which would have told them EVA was a man, either that or the NSA doesn't know if their agents are male or female and also doesn't bother writing their names down or taking their picture. Strangely Snake received a full file on this EVA before he met her (as some of it shows up in the radio menu) however he neglects to read the part where it says she was a Chinese spy, because we need some retarded plot twist at the end of the game for a 'Gotcha!' Moment. The two end up fighting the Ocelot Unit and humiliating Major Ocelot once again, even though Ocelot is ADAM and it's in his best interest to work with Snake (somehow nobody remembered he was a NSA defector the first time you met him) and nobody mentions this to Snake, because once again the government doesn't know who their own agents are. Snake fights Ocelot for the first time face-to-face at a crevice, though the fight ends prematurely when a swarm of hornets descends upon them, causing Snake to fall into the crevice.

This leads to Snake's first encounter with a Cobra Unit operative, The Pain, who is infested with throat parasites that give him the scientific ability to control bees with his mind (it's as stupid as it sounds). The Pain wants to fight him for no narrative reason at all, we just needed a boss fight. After defeating The Pain who explodes with a microbomb at the end of the fight (which is retconned in a later game), Snake infiltrates the Granin Design Bureau, where he learns from Director Granin that Volgin is financing Shagohod's development with the Philosophers' Legacy, a hundred-billion-dollar fund entrusted to his father, Boris Volgin, by a shadowy cabal of the world's elite who called themselves the Philosophers. On leaving the Bureau, Snake encounters The Fear, the Cobra Unit's [[Night Lords|stealth and terror specialist]] who has the same parasites as The Pain, though they provide him with different abilities. Once again Snake fights a guy who has no reason to fight him, and after The Fear explodes via microbomb (retconned out later) he passes through the Sokrovenno forest and probably fights The End, the Cobra Unit's centenarian sniper, and the 'father of sniping'. Apparently nobody tried to be a sharpshooter before him, which is strange because this was when the guard's eyesight wasn't that bad. The End is perhaps the only member of the Cobra unit who has a reason to fight Snake, that being he's dying and wants to be killed before he dies of old age, and dies in several different ways depending on what the player did. They could have found the sniper rifle off the beaten path and shot him before this fight, after which Snake gives a depressed message about how sad he is that his mission is closer to being accomplished (this is also back when Snake was retarded), he might die of old age (Snake gives the same message), or you might fight him, in which he blows up via microbomb. The End has the same throat parasites as the other two, though once again his do different things, and depending on the gender of the person they're attached to they make you either require a ghillie suit, or require you to wear nothing but a bikini. After that Snake climbs a mountain path to rendezvous with EVA.

EVA sets out their escape route and tells him where Volgin is holding Sokolov before she has to return to Volgin as Sokolovs' captive lover Tatyana, throughout this she hits on Snake, who reacts as if she just shot his dog. Traveling through underground tunnels, Snake encounters The Fury, the Cobra Unit's flamethrower operative. Like the others he has throat parasites that give him affinity for fire. His fiery, explosive death where he turns into a flaming skull monster (Snake suspects this to have happened thanks to the microbombs, because he's an idiot who believes that blowing up via microbomb turns you into a skull monster) causes the tunnels to collapse. Pressing on, Snake climbs the tallest ladder in the world while the theme song plays in the background to mask the load time to infiltrate the perimeter of Groznyj Grad, Volgin's fortified research facility where Shagohod and Sokolov reside, and the place Snake could have just dropped in at/immediately went towards from the beginning if Ocelot wasn't working against his own orders.

Inside, Snake takes out Major Raikov/Raiden and dons his uniform, completing the disguise with a Raikov/Raiden mask. He doesn't get very far before Volgin sniffs him out and captures him, thanks to the fact that Raikov/Raiden and Volgin are/were in love (yes, seriously). Volgin tortures him for information, literally shocking the piss out of him thanks to his own ability to shoot lightning, before Ocelot walks in and shoots Snakes' right eye, because even though one of the main themes of the game is Patriotism, Ocelot will continuously work against the country he's supposed to work for. Snake escapes captivity through one of many ways, either a ghost gives him a message, he gets it via radio, he tricks the guard or he gets it from a weeaboo (yes, seriously, a weeaboo who's obsessed with all the men in his family being named Johnny) and ends up diving off a storm drain outflow to evade pursuit as he's chased by the Ocelot unit, because Ocelot's loyalty is to whomever it's least convenient for the plot. During his near-death experience, Snake encounters The Sorrow, the Cobra Unit's deceased psychic ops soldier, who confronts him with a waist-deep river filled with the souls of the men he's killed, though this really amounts to nothing as the 'fight' is literally impossible to lose and The Sorrow really doesn't give a shit one way or another.

After coming to and linking up with EVA (also fucking her), Snake returns to Groznyj Grad, armed with a supply of C3 to destroy Shagohod's liquid fuel reserves. Caught in the act, The Boss makes Snake fight Volgin one-on-one while the detonators tick down toward zero, even though she could have started working with him right then and there, which would result in both of their missions being complete without any of the following bullshit: After defeating Volgin, Snake and EVA escape by motorcycle. Shagohod bursts out of its hangar, Volgin at the controls, because Snake runs away without checking to make sure Volgin will stay down, and so starts one of Snakes' major flaws, forgetting to make sure that his enemies are dealt with. Snake collapses a bridge to drop the Shagohod into a ravine, yet the machine drives up the debris in a way it couldn't to continue the pursuit. Even after pummeling it with RPG rounds, Volgin won't give up and controls the machine entirely through electricity once it becomes inoperable (because running electricity through shit causes it to magically become fixed). Snake goes for a third round, this time on foot, before Shagohod is finally destroyed and Volgin is not killed, since Snake again forgets to check if Volgin died or not. Finally, it looks like the mission's a success when they give their pursuers the slip, but EVA crashes their motorcycle and gets impaled by a tree branch.

Snake has to haul the severely wounded EVA through another stretch of forest, evading the ground pursuit, to reach the WIG that she'd prepared for their exit. Before they arrive, Snake has to tie up one last loose end: The Boss. In a field of white flowers, The Boss tells Snake about the Philosophers in a cutscene that mostly repeats information the player already knows and goes on about twenty fucking minutes too long. The cutscene also includes her role as a secret Mercury Program astronaut, witnessing her country's betrayal in the Bay of Pigs incident, and the loss of her child to the Philosophers after giving birth to him on the shores of Normandy. She calls in an airstrike on their location with a ten minute warning and demands that Snake give her his all, for no real reason.

After beating her in a fight, the Boss lays dying or just sleepy (depending on whether or not you used tranq rounds) in the field. She hands Snake a microfilm containing the Philosophers' Legacy since it was her mission to recover it in the beginning (she didn't complete her mission and fake her death because much like her student, she's an idiot) and asks that he use her gun, the Patriot, to finish her. The white flowers turn blood-red after the shot is fired. Snake boards the WIG, but Ocelot gets on as it's leaving to challenge Snake to a final duel, because his main objective is to ensure the USA gets the philosophers legacy, and he loves trying to prevent his own objective from getting accomplished. He loads one of his two revolvers with a single round, juggles them, and offers the choice to Snake. Depending on which gun you choose and where you choose to shoot it the round is either a blank or an actual bullet. If it's fired at one of them, it's a blank, if it's fired at a wall, the blank magically turns into an actual bullet.

After spending the night in the Alaska safehouse fucking EVA, Snake awakes to find EVA gone and a taped message waiting for him. Her message explains that she was a Chinese spy, not the EVA who was supposed to help Snake during his mission (aka information he should have already known), raised by the Philosophers, taught by The Boss, and that his mission was intended to get the Philosophers' Legacy into the hands of the US government, while her mission was to steal it for the Chinese. When Volgin nuked OKB-752, Snake's mission was changed to include killing The Boss as a scapegoat, because losing the greatest soldier in the world during what could have been the worlds greatest war was deemed 'acceptable'.

Back in the USA, Snake receives the Distinguished Service Cross from President Johnson and the title of Big Boss, ruining the Boss's speech about how there always needing to be one Snake, and one Boss (although the speech didn't make sense anyway as Snake wasn't his only codename). He snubs DCI John McCone on his way out, the man ultimately responsible for the death of The Boss. Snake places the Patriot on The Boss's unmarked grave in Arlington and salutes it, a manly tear rolling down his face.

After the credits, we get the customary Ocelot phone call. He assures the KGB director that Groznyj Grad and the Granin Research Bureau were destroyed, Khrushchev is finished, and the Soviet Union can use the details of the Virtuous Mission and Operation Snake Eater to blackmail America. He then calls the DCI to confirm that EVA's copy of the Philosophers' Legacy is a fake, half of the Legacy has made it to America, the Shagohod is destroyed, and that he'd acquired data on Granin's Metal Gear project that America could find useful. He also reveals that he's the real ADAM, a triple agent working for the KGB, Volgin, and the CIA, which the the DCI already knew but never bothered to mention, because keeping his identity secret was considered more important than insuring the world isn't enveloped in Nuclear War.
MGS4 pretty much confirms that all the surviving FOX unit characters from Snake Eater plus Eva and Ocelot are the founders of the Patriots, this happens off-screen of course even though none of the members are given any hint of being tech-savvy or influential enough to make (and install) world-governing AI's, since any time the series writes itself into a corner, more shit will just happen off-screen.

===Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops===
A game of questionable canon not directed or written by Hideo Kojima. The main antagonist is a bigger Villain Sue than Armstrong and Ocelot put together. Which is saying something because either would whip the floor with him. It was also a considered the worst game until recently (see Survive). Which is what you get when the primary writer is known for making shitty harem novels for morbidly obese otaku and directed by a script writer instead of a real director.

===Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots===

===Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker===
The other direct sequel to Metal Gear Solid 3 on the PSP. A much better game between the two. It should have been released on consoles instead as Big Boss can't move and be in the prone position at the same time. This is where the series starts falling apart. As the real brains behind Metal Gear. Tomokazu Fukushima, left Konami during the early development of MGS4.

===Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance===
Set four years after Guns of the Patriots, Revengeace is a completely different beast from any other Metal Gear game. First off, you play as Raiden for the entire game instead of Snake or Big Boss. Second, since this game was developed by Platinum Games instead of Konami, [[Flesh Tearers|stealth is mostly thrown out the window for glorious carnage]] (you can still try to use stealth when it's applicable to make the game easier, as enemies are vulnerable to insta-kills while you're undetected, but nothing's stopping you from just going in and murderfucking everyone.). And third, the stupid over-the-top tropes Metal Gear Solid was known for are hitched up to eleven. Seriously, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfpeFE4QhU0| look at this shit.] That's the equivalent of tossing around a [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)| Warhound Scout Titan]] like a rag doll.

Long story short, Raiden receives a far more powerful cyborg body and is sent to eliminate Desperado; an off-shoot faction of the Patriots led by U.S Senator Armstrong, known for the "Nanomachines, son" [[meme]] and the most patriotic villain ever known. Besides that the plot is pretty much nonexistent, with Raiden running around and pretty much being the living avatar of [[rip and tear|RIP N' TEAR]]. The plot though did have some really funny moments where Raiden discovered the villains plan to create an army, kidnap children from third-world countries, put their brains in jars, have them remote control robots/cyborgs, and once they were skilled enough put their brains in those bodies so that they could get killed on the battlefield, not to mention there's a part where Raiden just lets a bunch of children die because he's too busy posing to help them out. Much like most of the series, this plan is doomed to failure before it starts when you realize that there's already a far better alternative in the form of nanomachines that make you invincible, they only stop working when it's plot convenient. It also regresses Raidens' character a bit (because much like every MGS sequel, the theme of the previous games are ignored), but nobody really gave a shit about that because of all the over-the-top ninja bullshit he constantly pulls off.

===Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain===

==== Ground Zeroes ====

The story begins with Ground Zeroes, set one year after the events of Peace Walker. It turns out Paz, a close friend to Big Boss is alive, but she is being held in an American Interrogation camp on the southern tip of Cuba. Big Boss originally wanted to assassinate Paz because of her ties to the mysterious Cipher organization and suspects she might may have leaked critical information about the Militaires Sans Frontières. Miller on the other hand doesn't believe this and orders Big Boss to bring her back alive for questioning. Coincidentally, Mother Base is scheduled for a United Nations nuclear weapon inspection just as Miller doubts Paz's betrayal. After rescuing Paz and a young boy named Chico, they find out that Paz had a bomb surgically planted in her abdomen as a setup. After a very gruesome scene of surgically removing the bomb from Paz's body, Big Boss successfully disposes the bomb as Paz tries to recover. They return to Mother Base only to see that it has come under attack by Cipher's covert strike force XOF, meaning the inspection was only smokescreen for an attack. Big Boss manages to save Miller and an unnamed soldier (we find out his real alias is Mosquito, but he comes back later on). They all escape as Mother Base collapses and cue for Miller's famous meme quote "They played us like a damn fiddle!". Miller realizes Big Boss was right and demands answers from Paz. That is until Paz claims there is another bomb inside of her (heavily implied to be in her vagina, what the fuck Kojima) as she falls out of the helicopter and the second bomb inside her explodes causing the helicopter to lose control and crashes into another helicopter.

==== The Phantom Pain ====

Big Boss manages to survive the crash but falls into a coma for nine years. A pretty cool opening scene of Big Boss waking up to ''The Man Who Sold the World'' in a hospital bed in Cyprus. The doctors show Big Boss after the explosion that not only did he get shrapnel sticking out of his head and the inside of his body, but he also lost his left forearm in the process. The following night an assassin kills the doctors who took care of Big Boss and nearly kills Big Boss himself. That is until another patient stops the assassin and sets her on fire causing her to jump out the window. The patient reveals himself as 'Ishmael' and helps Big Boss escape (This isn't the only reference to the book Moby Dick, Ishmael calls Big Boss 'Ahab' while Big Boss is equipped with a hook hand prosthetic). As they both approach the elevator, they encounter a child wearing a gas mask and a straight jacket floating in the air (we know what you're thinking and yes, that is Psycho Mantis as a little kid) and a man covered in fire. Since gunfire is useless against him his only weakness is water. They both see that XOF units start killing the patients and hospital staff to ensure there are no witnesses. It becomes clear that they were sent in to eliminate Big Boss after finding out he had just woken up. After facing certain death against XOF soldiers and the Man of Fire, Big Boss and Ishmael escape the hospital using an ambulance. Unfortunately, the ambulance gets attacked by XOF forces and crashes. Big Boss survives, but Ishmael has disappeared leaving Big Boss to fend for himself. Just as an XOF helicopter is hovering over Big Boss, Psycho Mantis shows up then suddenly a giant fucking whale covered in fire swallows the helicopter and destroys it. To make things even more ridiculous, the Man of Fire shows up again riding a fucking winged unicorn made of fire. Luckily, a man riding a horse shows up to Big Boss' aid and that man is none other than Revolver Ocelot (now voiced by Troy Baker). After a chase ensues between the Man of Fire and Big Boss and Ocelot, they both manage to escape. Ocelot reminds Big Boss of what has happened before he fell into a coma and wants to help him and Miller rebuild their private army. It turns out Miller was captured by the Soviets and is being held for interrogation in Afghanistan. Big Boss joins up with Ocelot and sets out for Afghanistan.

===Metal Gear Survive===

A portal in the sky transports you to an alternate dimension after Mother Base was destroyed by XOF, where the Wolbachia parasite has mutated everyone into Romero-like [[zombie]]s. As the name implies; your objective is to survive. Its basically every indie survival horror game you see on Steam, except this comes in with a hefty pricetag of 40 USD/EUR.

From the recent trailers that came out; many people are already turned off by it, citing it as a mediocre survival horror game. As the first game ever worked on without Kojima's input, it easily be called the worst Metal Gear yet and even more inept than Kojima ever was. The story is worse than Snake's Revenge and makes Bethesda era [[Fallout]] look good with sentient nanomachines from the 22nd century via time travel as the main villain. Right out plagiarizing another video game made by Sqaure Enix, Gunslinger Stratos. Just without the alternate universe dopplegangers.

Proving once again that Gakuto Mikumo(who wrote the shitty story of Portable Ops) is a [[Isekai|no talent hack like most light novel writers]]. Blatantly ignoring that the real future of the Metal Gear universe is the much superior Zone of the Enders.(Sahelanthropus looks like a much less advanced Jehuty.)
Most of the game mechanics are a ripoff of Fortnite. The characters are bland and calling you every 30 seconds for who knows what. You are reminded to take food and drink often but it's very difficult to get either. The main character from the single player campaign is a [[Original_character,_do_not_steal|blatant ripoff of Chris Redfeild.]] While the player character is a mute because they couldn't afford to higher real voice actors.
Most real fans would rather let the franchise die at this point and Konami just put the final nail in the coffin. They could let Platinum make Metal Gear Rising or remade the 8-bit era games. [[/pol/|Don't mention this to the Survive fanboys who call Kojima a hack or haters cucks or they will have an albino chimp out.]]

==See Also==
[[Metal Gear Vindicare]]

[[BattleTech]]

==Gallery==
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Image: MSG Agent Chart.png|Create your own MSG Agent!
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[[Category: Video_Games]]
[[Category: Under_Development]]
[[Category:Meme]]

Metal Gear

2018-02-23T07:55:52Z

2601:147:4200:6280:2450:6AB1:452C:5E62: /* Metal Gear Survive */

[[File: MSG Title.jpeg|thumb|right|Metal Gear Solid title]]
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If you're here on the Internet and have ''not'' heard of Metal Gear or Metal Gear Solid, you're obviously pretty new or just straight up ignorant... But for the sake [[/tg/]] and everyone, we'll help.

Metal Gear and the subsequent games coming after it are action-adventure stealth games starting in 1987. While Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2 on the <strike>EN EE ESS</strike> EM ES EX TWO were well-received and iconic, it was Metal Gear Solid in 1998 on the PEE ESS JUAN that changed not only the franchise but third-person shooters in general and practically being the herald of stealth games. Though each game has a different story, it typically follows the supersoldier agent Solid Snake or Big Boss during the 21st century and the Cold War as he infiltrates something, destroys whatever's inside, and is a badass while doing it. We would explain more of the story here but honestly it gets stupidly complicated with government conspiracies, clones, ghosts, [[meme|sudden but inevitable betrayals]], and many more. While somewhat grounded in reality it has a very obvious sci-fi feel to it, similar to [[BattleTech]], [[Shadowrun]], and in some ways [[Warhammer 40,000|Warhammer 40K]]. Bedsides it's well crafted game play and sometimes uneven plot, Metal Gear is mainly known for it's [[memes]].

==Metal Gear and /tg/==
Like much of the Internet and 4chan, /tg/ has a pretty distinct love for Metal Gear. We've had several quest threads following the Metal Gear universe, most notably [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Metal%20Gear:%20Rise%20from%20Ashes%20Quest| Rise from Ashes] and [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Revengeance%20Quest| Revengeance Quest]. While there's not a definitive homebrew for it, there's limitless potential and [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38662709/| that certainly hasn't stopped us from trying].

[[Metal Gear Vindicare]] is a pretty obvious /tg/-MSG relation, being inspired by the famous codec used by Solid Snake in the game. Centers around [[Love Can Bloom]] with <s>[[Doomrider]] as a special guest.</s> '''DO COCAAAAIIIINNE!'''

A lot of things about Metal Gear correlate with the interests of fa/tg/uys. Despite what most people think, /tg/ loves their [[tau|giant]] [[Adeptus Evangelion|robots]], which Metal Gear Solid has in spades. There's also a good enough amount of both [[grimdark]] and [[Orks|hilarious stupidity]] to keep a wide variety of neckbeards entertained.

==Characters==
===Solid Snake===
[[File: Solid Snake codec.png|thumb|left|I ''am'' happy]]
The protagonist for most of the games. He starts out his career in Metal Gear as a rookie FOXHOUND agent, uncovering the existence of the Metal Gear and the double-crossing of his superior, Big Boss. He later discovers that he's actually the clone-son of Big Boss, created for reasons that change from game to game. Snake spends the rest of the games fighting Big Bosses' other clones as well as uncovering the grand conspiracy his father had been retconned into fighting, while people talk about how hard the life that he chooses to live is even though it's his own fucking choice. He finally ends his career in Metal Gear Solid 4, his clone-genes rapidly degenerating and near the end of his life (by the time he's in his mid-thirties he's in his late sixties biologically, complete with heart problems and seizures). But he doesn't get to die before finally making amends with his father in a rather hilarious moment where Big Boss is convinced that unless he kills a really old man who was essentially a vegetable the whole series could happen again. In terms of personality there's not much to say, besides him wanting to lead huskies in the Iditarod if he were to ever retire.

===Big Boss===
[[File:Big Boss Salute.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|Good night, sweet prince.]]
Basically [[General Sturnn]]. But with an eye-patch. [[Farsight]] seems to take a lot of inspiration from him too.

While initially portrayed as the villain due to how much he loved war so he could get child soldiers to train into regular soldiers, one could argue whether or not his actions were justified given the later retcon of the Patriots existence (and then they'd remember that whole child soldier bit). Big Boss stars as the protagonist of all the Metal Gear games before Solid begins his career, dating back to the 1960s when he was known as Naked Snake (get it?). Naked Snake discovers the progenitor of Metal Gear in Soviet Russia while also being "betrayed" by his former leader, The Boss. After an arms deal goes wrong, he chooses to kill her to cover up America's involvement, which leaves a lasting impact for the rest of his life and was betrayed by his love interest, EVA, because nobody on the team realized that the agent he was supposed to meet (a man) was actually replaced by EVA (a woman). He decides to abandon the United States (even though patriotism was the theme of the previous game) and create his own military group "Militaires Sans Frontieres," the very mercenary group to have ever existed in the MGS world, later called "Diamond Dogs," while fighting his own shadow war against former comrade Zero who turned evil offscreen and is the founder of the Patriots (also happens offscreen). After fighting a number of early Metal Gear models, Big Boss began building a few Metal Gears of his own to try and even the odds. During a battle against one of the Patriots' splinter groups, Cypher, Big Boss pussies out and decides "Fuck this war, somebody else can deal with this shit" and leaves a body double, Venom Snake, to become the public face of his PMC while he fucked off to who knows where. Originally Big Boss fought Solid Snake in MG1 and died, this was retconned in MG2 where they said he didn't die, just had lots of his body replaced with machinery, and retconned into Venom Snake died instead in MG1, while Big Boss entered into a coma after MG2 until he was revived just after the patriots were defeated (nobody bothered to check to make sure he was dead).
He can also bench press 200 simi odd ton tanks and recharge batteries by eating glowing mushrooms for [[Orks| some reason.]]

===Gray Fox===
Initially just an NPC with some backstory as FOXHOUND's best soldier. In Metal Gear 2 he's retconned as Solid Snake's best friend in Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake.([[Fail| To differentiate it from the load of fail that was Metal Gear 2 on the NES]]) Mid-way into the game in he is revealed as the second in command of Zanzibar Land under Big Boss & the pilot of the first real Metal Gear battle and first of the melee only boss battles, with [[Mekboy | land minds surrounding boss arena]]. Because the AI was shit (and he isn't the player character) he loses to Snake. He also kills his girlfriend accidentally in one of the most heavily foreshadowed scenes of all time.
In Metal Gear Solid he comes back as the first [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Cyborg Ninja]] as a tutorial battle for the game's melee system. [[Railroading| In short telling the player how to beat him.]] His final act is damaging Metal Gear Rex with some kind of [[Skub|laser or plasma weapon]] that he didn't have in previous appearances before being squished by Metal Gear. So Snake can finally defeat Rex with his Stinger Missiles. Also appears in a prequel game of [[C.S. Goto|questionable canon]].
Later on his backstory was expanded a little more, and it was revealed that he was a child soldier fighting in an area well known for their child soldiers, and he was able to amass a large kill-streak because none of his enemies thought that child soldiers existed, [[Fail|in an area full of them.]]
His ability to lower the intelligence of everyone he met impressed the CIA, who decided to make him into the perfect soldier, unfortunately this ability affected the CIA too and they assumed that wiping all of his memories, including the memory of any martial art he knew or fought against, would make him a better fighter.
He also later murdered the parents of Naomi, then chose to adopt her, because why not? Naomi is also the person who turns him into a cyborg and then lets him loose, knowing full well that he'll want another rematch against Snake, and knowing full well that if Snake failed to complete the mission a Nuke could be launched against the US, though luckily assisting in the act of nuclear terrorism only gets you a verbal reprimand, so she gets away just fine.

===Liquid Snake===
[[File:Brother Liquid.png|thumb|right|Liquid quite literally most of the time.]]
The antagonist of Metal Gear Solid and Snake's clone brother. Liquid has a distinctly British accent and blond hair. According to the game's very loose grasp of genetics, Liquid inherited all the recessive genes of Big Boss, while Snake inherited all the dominant genes, and because of this he believed he was made from "inferior genes" and that's the reason he's evil. No seriously, the entire reason he's evil is because he doesn't like how he looks, and thus becomes Doctor Doom. Even as a child, he was a surprisingly competent soldier, giving Venom Snake (who he believed was his father Big Boss) a lot of headaches when he started acting out, he also murdered kids and stole the Metal Gear Venom Snake had before vanishing in a cliffhanger that never got resolved in the main series (you'll have to look to youtube to see what they wanted to do). Liquid would have died from Skull Face's parasite had he not become BFFs with his future comrade, Psycho Mantis who had the ability to do pretty much everything, and was retconned into being possessed by Liquid since Psycho Mantis now gets possessed by non-Psychic people, even though he's wearing his mask which was designed to stop peoples thoughts from entering his head. Liquid has massive Daddy issues (the aforementioned genes) and is incredibly stupid, which lead him to rebel against the US government and seize Metal Gear REX for himself. He also really hates Snake for the same aforementioned gene issue, possessing a really intense inferiority complex and needing to constantly prove himself. Also turned Gray Fox into a blood puddle, because can't aim a [[fail|laser for crap]]. Snake fights him several times, including shooting down his helicopter and Metal Gear Rex, but the bastard JUST. WON'T. DIE. Of course he finally does die from an engineered virus... sort of. "Liquid" takes possession of Ocelot but this was retconned out later so it doesn't matter.

===Ocelot===
A Russian gunslinger and a guy with a LOT of mixed loyalties that make no sense when you think about it. Formerly a member of GRU (the Soviet Military's version of the civilian KGB) and a secret agent for the USA, Ocelot joined with Big Boss (due to wanting to fuck him), helping him in secret despite nominally being a member of the Patriots (and later deciding to destroy them). Ocelot joined Liquid's rebellion, but only to act as the Patriot's inside man and steal the plans for Metal Gear REX, even though as the governing intelligence they would already have had them. He also manages to steal Metal Gear RAY, but at this point he starts acting out his secret plan to destroy the Patriots from within. How does he do this? Well....

# [[What|Pretend to be possessed by the ghost of Liquid]] and steal Metal Gear RAY which was later retconned into him using hypnosis to make himself think he's Liquid, which gives him all of Liquid's personalities and skills, because that's what happens in this universe (it's how Big Boss made his body double too).
# Use one of the Patriots' AI to infiltrate their system and take effective control over their military assets, because AI who know that the new AI will be under Liquid's control will just hand it to him and wait to die.
# When the patriots send Snake after him, put up a convincing show of resistance by attempting to kill him multiple times.
# Steal the railgun off of Metal Gear REX and aim it at the Patriots' main satellite, which is still armed with a live nuke because nobody in the government told their successors about the nuke, because written logs don't exist in this world, everything is passed down through word of mouth, and the patriots forgot that the nuke was there too.
# Hope that Snake is still alive at this point and that he's developed the worm necessary to kill the Patriots AI, which Liquid could have done at any time so he wouldn't have had to worry about all the earlier bullshit.
# Fistfight him bare-chested until you die of exhaustion.
# ???
# Profit!
Yeah... when we talk about how convoluted the story is, it's usually Ocelot's fault. Still, for an elderly old bastard, he's pretty damn badass. Dude can also pull off some [[/co/|Taskmaster]] level shit and bite CQC moves from his opponents. He's also the third canon cyborg via replacing Liquid's Arm with a prosthetic and [[What|dented his own ship with it.]]

Also, he has a [[Slaanesh| torture fetish]] and is a [[Furry|furry old fuck.]]

===Otacon===
The [[weeaboo]] of the series. We're not exaggerating, by the way. He wanted to work on Metal Gear REX specifically because he's obsessed with [[anime]]. Otacon is your typical nerdy support character, giving Snake technical assistance in his fight against the Metal Gears and is the only reason REX was able to be defeated because he intentionally developed it with an exploitable weak spot that would have made it a hindrance against on the battlefield. This carries over to the next several games where he'll design something far inferior to what already existed, only to let you use that better thing later on anyway. He's also a quite literally hopeless romantic, as his two romantic interests ended up dying. Though to be honest, the first was a terrorist who showed no real interest in him, and the second was Naomi, who upon realizing she had cancer that wasn't doing a fucking thing because she stopped it with nanomachines, decided to commit suicide. Also we learn that his dad committed suicide because he had sex with his stepmom. Yeah.

===Huey===
Otacon's dad. Despite having the same general appearance, voice actor, and role as Otacon, Huey deserves special mention for how much of a [[that guy|cock]] he is and how despite all his faults, Otacon is infinitely more tolerable. So, he's a paraplegic engineer who got drafted by the CIA into helping to build Peace Walker, not realizing how insane the project really is (this is a persistent theme for him). After being rescued by Big Boss, Huey works for him and develops Metal Gear ZEKE as a counter to the various AI weapons the CIA had built. He also ended up marrying his design partner, the heavily-implied-to-have-had-a-lesbian-crush-on-The-Boss Dr. Strangelove, with whom they had a son named Hal (aka Otacon). Now, here's where the dark shit settles in: <s> after getting tricked by Cipher into letting them onto Mother Base to destroy it </s> after selling out Big Boss and MSF to Cipher, Huey gets abducted and is forced to work on a new Metal Gear, Sahelanthropus. Because the cockpit can't fit a full-sized human, he tries to get his son Hal to pilot it. Strangelove vehemently opposes this, so he ends up stuffing her inside an AI pod to suffocate. After getting recaptured by Big Boss, he insists that he never betrayed him and that he wasn't willingly working for Cipher. But after Big Boss succeeds in defeating Skull Face, Huey steals the vocal chord parasite and makes it more deadly by making it immune to its original antidote in an attempt to sell it to Cipher for protection, even having the gall to call Big Boss a murderer for mercy-killing the men Huey infected. Naturally, this pisses off Big Boss, so he sends him adrift on a tiny life raft. Huey lives out the rest of his days being a bad parent, eventually drowning himself (and nearly drowning his stepdaughter) when he found out Hal had sex with his new wife. After learning all that, one can only imagine how badly Hal was treated and feel some genuine pity for him.

===Meryl===
Colonel Roy Campbell's daughter (he told everyone she was his niece because he didn't want them to know her mother had an affair with him) and the only FOXHOUND agent to not join Liquid's rebellion. She starts out as a rookie way in over her head, but she helps out Snake by providing him with useful information. Snake also starts to develop a romantic interest in her after all the shit they go through, and then dumps her to go hunt Metal Gears because Snake decided that Metal Gears shouldn't exist, a plan which was doomed to failure since their design was on the internet and literally everyone could download it. In Metal Gear Solid, depending on whether Snake submits to Ocelot's torture, Meryl lives or dies at the end of the game. This is later retconned in Metal Gear Solid 4, where she lives but also learns the truth that she's Roy's daughter, not his niece, which pisses her off. Meryl becomes the commander of her own unit which she names after the group who tried to kill her, and decides that because at this point Snake's turned into a crusty old fart, she's going to marry her perpetually incontinent subordinate stalker (he saw her once and was then pining for her years after the fact), who's also a weeaboo.

===Raiden===
He's introduced as the "true" protagonist of Metal Gear Solid 2, but his original appearance is nowhere near as badass as Snake. He's a [[Fulgrim|white-haired effeminate Bishie]] that tends to rile up most people who loathe anime stereotypes. Raiden starts out as a Child Soldier in Africa (despite being whiter than white-out) before being taken in by the Patriots as their successor to Solid Snake. He's lived nearly his entire life in simulations and being fucked over by AIs. Once he's actually let out into the real world to stop Solidus and his terror cell, he meets Snake, and together they discover the existence of the Patriots.

Raiden gets a significant upgrade after MGS2, where he gets kidnapped by the Patriots and has his entire body below his upper jaw cut off and replaced by a cyborg ninja body (akin to a reverse [[Ferrus Manus]]). Everyone agrees that his version of Raiden is much better, and he ends up starring in the spin-off game Metal Gear Rising, where he uses his sword and ninja athleticism to fight other cyborgs and a regular human who was stronger than him due to having [[Flash Gitz| a better weapon, Power Armor]] and skills. In the Metal Gear verse your top of the line upgrades are [[Games Workshop|barely useful in less than four years]].

===Solidus===
The last of Big Bosses' clones, Solidus was much more under the control of the Patriots, sometimes. He spent some time fighting in Africa, where he picked up an orphaned Raiden and turned him into a pawn of the Patriots. While he was eventually made President, this really didn't count for much as the Patriots still made all the decisions and he was basically a puppet. Solidus decides that he's had enough of this shit and steals the Patriots' new warship, Arsenal Gear, and decides to take the fight directly to them. Of course, this didn't end well for him when Snake and Raiden interfere and the ship crashes into Manhattan. He gets killed by Raiden, sort of-not really as nobody bothered to check the body (falling into a coma instead of dying), but his body ends up being a macguffin because his DNA is an exact match to Big Boss, allowing Ocelot to hack into the Patriots network, because even though the Patriots know what's happening and could stop it they let it happen anyway.

===The Patriots===
Also known as "Cipher", or "La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo" if you're under their direct control since they decided the best way to hide their name is telling everyone that they can't say their name. Financed by the inheritance of the 20th Century's wealthiest men, the Patriots control literally everything. Originally this was a group formed by Big Boss, Zero, Sigint, Para-Medic, Ocelot, and Eva in order to fulfill The Boss' wishes of uniting the world and ending the Cold War since the entire series is based around people wanting to do what The Boss wanted to do, despite most of them having minimal attachment to the boss at best. However, this group split in half over differences on how to fulfill this vision. Zero wanted to control the entire world and all facets of human life through all-knowing AIs, while Big Boss wanted to create "Outer Heaven," a place where soldiers would always belong and not be the puppets of governments (because having people always ready to fight would obviously mean everyone becomes peaceful and happy). When Zero went comatose, the group was taken over for a short time by Skull Face, the guy responsible for cleaning up the mess in MGS3 even though there wasn't anyone like that originally (retcon) and the location should have made it impossible. He wanted to fulfill the Boss' vision by eliminating language itself using a language-based parasite because he believed that a persons personality and way of thinking had everything to do with the language they spoke (he was also retarded). Eventually the Patriots was controlled by Five AIs: JD, GW, TJ, AL, & TR (John Doe, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and Theodore Roosevelt respectively) who had no self preservation whatsoever. These AIs decided that the best thing to unite the world was to plunge it into perpetual conflict and proxy wars, bringing together the worst of Zero's and Big Boss' visions and directly working against everything the series said they were working towards. The Patriots AI were killed off when Snake unwittingly uploaded a worm that killed all of them, finally freeing the world from their influence.

==Types of Metal Gears==
If the title of the game didn't hint at it enough, a prominent part of the game(s) are these giant mechs called (you guessed it) Metal Gears. In the beginning they're simply mobile platforms to launch nuclear weapons, but they evolve to fulfill many other roles and become far more dangerous in general.

'''Shagohod''': Technically not a Metal Gear, but created the precedent for mobile nuclear platforms. This crazy contraption was basically a giant armored hovercraft (Move Trough Cover) that would rocket-boost (one-turn Fast Tank) in order to give its nuclear payload an extra boost and was designed to launch nukes from any surface, giving the Soviet Union the edge in the Cold War. Of course the whole point of the Cold War was that both sides were fucked if ANY nukes were launched so it became pointless before it was built. It also had point-defenses up the wazzoo.

'''Metal Gear RAXA''': The first proper Metal Gear ever built. A four-legged Metal Gear that could be launched from a ICBM. If you're asking why in the fuck they have to use a Metal Gear as a middleman nuclear platform when they're already launching it from an ICBM, supposedly it's because the missiles are harder to intercept on the Metal Gear than on the ICBM... but who's to say they can't intercept the ICBM carrying the Metal Gear?

'''Peace Walker''': A four-legged walker that was fully AI controlled. It's described as having a stealth frame, but it wouldn't exactly be hard to spot considering the size of the thing. It could only fire nukes defensively, but could be tricked into launching a premature attack through a plot that understood little to nothing of mutually assured destruction.

'''Metal Gear ZEKE''': Big Boss' first attempt at a Metal Gear, this one was fully bipedal. Originally it was AI controlled too, but was modified to use a human pilot when Cypher attempted to steal it, the modifications being completed in days or minutes depending on when you last checked it, and nobody guarding it thought that it was a good idea to stop the modifications that weren't supposed to happen, and the two people doing them would never have been able to make them in the first place. This metal gear was also customizable and could be sent out on combat missions alongside MSF soldiers.

'''Sahelanthropus''': This one was designed by Otacon's Dad, Huey. While technically more advanced than Metal Gear REX in that it could walk upright, one flaw was that the cockpit was too small for a full-sized human. Cypher got around this by using Pyscho Mantis to control it psychically, because in Phantom Pain Psycho Mantis could do whatever he wanted, which makes you question why they need robots when they already have control over a superhuman. Sahelanthropus is also the absolute proof of why Metal Gears are useless (as if Metal Gear: Rising didn't already do that), despite costing millions to make and countless resources, it's easily defeated by a man on a man-sized robot that would have cost a fraction of the resources to develop, and if it didn't have the ability to create clouds that destroyed metal, it could have been easily defeated by one tank.

'''TX-55''': The Metal Gear that appears in the first game (which is now chronologically not the first one). This model didn't have that many frills, it was simply a robot that could fire nukes. It does nothing while Snake just uses C4 to blow it up and dodges the [[Rage|annoying laser cameras]]. Presumably it's the most durable one because the only way to hurt it is to use a shitload of C4 on its legs in a certain order, because that's how explosives work.

'''Metal Gear D''': The first real Metal Gear the player ever fights in the release order. An upgraded version of TX-55. It only had a machine guns and missiles during it's boss battle. It's sprite makes it look as if could launch [[Anal_circumference|six nukes one after another]].

'''Metal Gear REX''': This dinosaur-looking motherfucker takes the original Metal Gear concept one step further by firing nukes from a [[Tau|railgun]] instead of a ballistic missile, making nukes nearly impossible to track (though it was never designed to do so, it just happened to work out that way). It also had a badass assortment of weaponry, from Gatling Guns to crotch lasers and a crap-ton of missiles. Liquid only uses the anti tank missiles. Even after Snake battled it in MGS1, it was still tough enough to take on RAY in MGS4. After MGS1, hundreds of REX knockoffs started spreading throughout the world thanks to Ocelot's douchebaggery.

'''Metal Gear RAY''': Designed to be the ultimate anti-Metal Gear weapon, RAY failed fucking hard in that regard. It's amphibious by design, and instead of carrying nukes, its weapons include a powerful water cannon that can cut metal. Despite being built specifically to fight Metal Gears, it still loses in a fight against an already damaged Metal Gear REX. For some reason Ocelot never uses the laser or the missile spam attack seen in Metal Gear Solid 2 when he pilots the manned version in MGS4. Still not a cake walk though since you need too spam the fire button instead of holding it down to make this fight easier. Since Metal Gear battles that are not the first boss hardly ever are.
The others seen in MGS2 and Rising are unmanned knockoffs.

'''Metal Gear RAY MOD0''': An upgrade over RAY seen in Metal Gear Rising. With the rise of carbon nano-tube tech; the armor was made lighter and stronger, allowing it to carry more weapons. Upgrades include: 4 limb-mounted twin-linked gatling guns, micro and macro missile launchers, an HF arm blade roughly the size of a small building, and a mouth-mounted plasma cannon. Despite all this, every last one of these guys encountered were destroyed by some Rhodesian weeaboo ninja with a sharp stick and a smart-talking Brazilian samurai with an incomprehensibly powerful sword and fighting technique.

'''Metal Gear EXCELSUS''': Not really a Metal Gear, it was only named so for marketing reasons, but still impractically awesome either way. Seen only in Metal Gear Rising; EXCELSUS was meant as an anti-cyborg gear, because cyborgs were becoming too powerful for conventional warfare. Due to this, people thought the only counter to this was to go back to making giant mechs with impractically large and powerful weapons (under the logic that if you can't outmanuver them; outgun them). EXCELSUS is basically a scorpion-shaped mech roughly as tall and wide a sports stadium and armed with two giant HF blades and twin plasma cannons. Its destroyed by Raiden in the most hilariously over-the-top way possible; he bodyslams it to the ground, rips one of it's arm blades off, and engages it in an arm-wrestling match with one of it's severed arms.

'''Gekko''': Quite possibly the dumbest looking mechs in science fiction, the Gekkos are small Metal Gears made up of a combination of synthetic organic muscle and mechanical technology. They have the head/upper body of a REX, but they have a pair of lizard legs to walk around on. You'd think that those legs would be easy pickings for bullets, but actually they won't buckle for anything less than explosives. They also allow the GEKKO to jump really high, climb on walls, and sweep kick you, so good luck running away from them. They also moo like cows and take shits. Seriously. We're not fucking joking.

==Plot==
===Metal Gear ===
The original NES port of Metal was a load of [[fail]]. Proving that even thirty years ago PC gaming is superior to consoles. Seriously some of the maps are removed and a few of the boss battles have been changed. It also takes out Big Boss's [[Troll|importance to the original plot.]] Reading about Phantom Pain first will be spoilers for this game so be warned.

===Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake===
Subtitle included because the original non-canon Metal Gear 2 NES is a run and gun shooter with a story that [[Spiritual_liege| makes less sense then usual]].

===Metal Gear Solid===
Snake's decided to retire from the spy business after having to kill his father <s>twice</s> once (first one was actually Venom Snake) to live out his dream of training racing huskies in the Alaskan wilderness. But Colonel Campbell comes knocking at his door, telling him that FOXHOUND's turned traitor and have taken a nuclear disposal facility hostage. After getting some weird shots from Dr. Naomi Hunter, he gets his SCUBA on and sneaks into the base. There he quickly discovers that the leader of the rebellion is Liquid Snake, Solid Snake's clone brother with a massive hate-boner for both their father and himself. The other FOXHOUND members include Revolver Ocelot, Decoy Octopus, Vulcan Raven, Sniper Wolf, and Psycho Mantis; the only FOXHOUND agent who didn't join the rebellion was Campbell's niece Meryl. After sneaking around the base trying to rescue the hostages, both Darpa Chief Donald Anderson (Sigint in MGS3) and Armstech President Kenneth Baker die suddenly of a heart attack mid-conversation. Snake later learns that the shot he received earlier was actually the FOXDIE virus, a genome-specific disease that kills specific individuals (and that the Darpa Chief was actually Decoy Octopus, whereas the real one had already died from torture). Furthermore, the nuclear disposal facility is actually a secret testing ground for the newest Metal Gear model, Metal Gear REX.

Snake tracks down REX's designer, Otacon, just as he's been cornered by a creepy cyborg ninja. Said ninja is actually Gray Fox, Snake's old BFF who's gone completely mental. (Naomi later reveals that she's not only Gray Fox's sister and wants to kill Snake for what he did to him, but also modified FOXDIE so that he'll be targeted as well at a random time... except wouldn't he already have been a target since he and Liquid have the exact same genome? Kojima just doesn't understand genetics at all.) After fighting him off, Otacon helps out Snake in finding out how to stop the terrorists from using REX's stealth nuke capabilities. Snake also meets up with Meryl, who gives him the PAL card needed to disarm Metal Gear REX. After fighting Psycho Mantis (Who has a memorable boss fight in which he literally blanks the entire screen and forces you to change controllers) and Vulcan Raven, Snake is captured by Sniper Wolf after she shoots Meryl, while Ocelot tortures Snake. Here, if Snake submits to the torture, Meryl dies at the end, otherwise she survives. Anyway, with Otacon's help, Snake is able to escape captivity, destroys Liquid's helicopter, defeats Sniper Wolf, and sneaks into Rex's lair. After defeating Vulcan Raven a second time, Snake finally reaches REX itself, figuring out that the system requires three key cards to disarm even though he only has the one. However, Otacon tells him that [[what|he already has all three key cards]] because its designed to change shape with temperature. So after traipsing around in the lair he disarms REX... [[fail|except that it was all a ruse and he ended up arming it instead]]. Liquid takes control of REX and challenges Snake to a fight. Luckily Gray Fox intervenes and helps to expose REX's cockpit, allowing Snake to shoot at liquid directly. Que a fistfight atop Rex, followed by the sudden reveal that the Secretary of State is going to bomb the whole island to cover the entire incident up, followed by a high-speed chase in which Liquid attempts to kill Snake one last time. Finally Liquid succumbs to FOXDIE while Snake and Otacon or Meryl walk away with him into the rising sun.

Que one final cutscene in which Ocelot is revealed to have survived, and has stolen the plans for Metal Gear REX, under orders of President Solidus Snake.

===Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty===
Hoo boy, this is where the series starts getting weird. After the events of MGS, Snake and Otacon form an NGO that tracks and monitors the proliferation of Metal Gear platforms around the world. When Otacon gets a tip that the US Marine Corps has a new super Metal Gear designed specifically to fight other MGs, Snake sneaks onboard the oil tanker it's hidden in to get proof. A Russian mercenary company also boards the ship, killing the Marines on patrol and making Snake's job just that much harder. Snake incapacitates the mercs' field commander and finds Metal Gear RAY in the deep holds of the ship. He also finds Revolver Ocelot, who declares that he's "taking it back" for the Patriots, kills the Marine commandant, and takes RAY, sinking the ship in the process. Snake is presumed killed in action.

Two years later, a terrorist group called "the Sons of Liberty" take over the Big Shell cleanup rig at the site of the tanker's sinking and take hostages, including the President of the United States. FOXHOUND sends in a covert operative to rescue the hostages and take out the Sons of Liberty, whose leader claims to be Solid Snake. The operative, code named "Raiden," gets jerked around by his handler Colonel Campbell, his data analyst and girlfriend Rosemary, and a SEAL Team 10 survivor named Iroquois Plisken (Solid Snake in a totally unconvincing disguise) as they track down the Sons of Liberty, disarm explosives, and have long, rambling conversations on the nature of free will.

The events of this operation play out suspiciously like the events of the Shadow Moses operation in the previous game, culminating in the reveal that the whole thing was an attempt by the Patriots to replicate the circumstances that led to Solid Snake's transformation into one of the most effective operators in the world, using Raiden as a test subject. Ocelot got an arm transplant with Liquid Snake as the donor, and now Liquid's ghost can possess him. The Sons of Liberty were pawns, despite "Solid Snake" (actually Solidus, the third Snake) thinking he was rebelling against them by doing this. Dead Cell, the US Navy anti-terror unit created by President Sears (again, actually Solidus) to test military security, was used as a stand-in for the rogue FOXHOUND operatives from Shadow Moses, the Patriots liquidating them in order to drive them into Solidus's arms. Dead Cell member Fortune's entire misfortunate history (losing her father, husband, and unborn child) was engineered by the Patriots. The mysterious cyborg that's helping Raiden is Olga Gurlukovich, the Russian merc commander forced to work for the Patriots lest they kill the daughter they stole from her. The President was a willing participant in the entire charade because he wanted the power that being part of the Patriots could offer. The Big Shell is a cover for the construction of Arsenal Gear, an aircraft carrier-sized platform for monitoring and censoring Internet traffic and protected by two dozen RAY drones. The oil spill was created by the Patriots to justify the construction of Big Shell (remember the conspicuous lack of any oil in the tanker).

And then the narrative goes totally off the rails. Otacon's sister Emma, rescued by Raiden and then killed by Dead Cell operative Vamp, delivers a computer worm that Otacon uses to infect Arsenal Gear, then Snake sucker punches Raiden to get him brought into Arsenal. The Colonel starts going berserk, calling Raiden with nonsense and gibberish. Snake finds Raiden's gear, gives it back, and also gives him a high-frequency sword that becomes his signature weapon henceforth. Battling to the core of Arsenal, Raiden fights its entire complement of RAYs with a Stinger missile system. Solidus, the Patriots, and "Liquid" Ocelot all reveal their goals: to hunt down the Patriots, to control global information context, and to find and destroy the Patriots, respectively. Arsenal Gear crashes into the Lower West Side of Manhattan, and Solidus and Raiden fight on the roof of Federal Hall.

With Solidus dead, Raiden and Snake figure out what to do next. Snake and Otacon plan to mine the worm's code for information on the Patriots while Raiden reunites with Rose (who is totally real and not living in Canada), finally remembering why April 30th is so important to her: it was the day they first met.

===Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater===
Chronologically the first game in the series, MGS3 is pretty much a Fix Fic for the [[C.S. Goto|half assed story of MGS2]]. Force Operation X drops one of their operatives, Naked Snake, into Soviet territory to help scientist Nikolai Stepanovich Sokolov defect. Again (Major Zero of FOX had to give him back to the Soviets to end the Cuban Missile Crisis just days after crossing the Berlin Wall). Just as Snake is leaving with Sokolov, they are surrounded by KGB agents. Ocelot, a young major in GRU, arrives, kills the KGB agents with a dazzling display of gunplay, and then gets his ass handed to him by Snake. A sporting chap, Snake offers Ocelot tips on his gun handling before Ocelot passes out. Before they can leave, The Boss arrives in the AO, declaring her own defection to the Soviet Union. This is later revealed to be a ploy, though it should have been obvious to anyone with a brain that it was a ruse since the government told you she was on a nuclear sub and if her defection really was legit then they wouldn't have known where she was. If this was legit, this also means that they would have lost sight of not only the greatest soldier in the world, but her entire unit. She breaks Snake's arm for no reason other than to be an asshole and throws him off a rope bridge. Colonel Volgin of GRU uses an M388 Davey Crockett, given to him by The Boss, to destroy Sokolov's design bureau, thus ending the Cold War, as this is now an American nuke brought into Russia by an American and fired by a defector. Everyone still calls it the Cold War anyway because this plot point is forgotten almost immediately once the intro is over.

In order to stop a full-scale war, America has to prove to Russia that they were not behind the attack on OKB-752, a plan doomed to failure because they obviously were and it's revealed in the end that they definitely were. Major Zero is forced to send Snake back into action with only two weeks to heal, his new mission: rescue Sokolov, kill The Boss (for some reason), her team (the Cobra Unit), and Colonel Volgin, and destroy Volgin's pet project, the Shagohod. In exchange, the Soviets will provide access to a communication satellite and two spies, NSA defectors codenamed ADAM and EVA.

Snake is inserted into the area of operation again, but The Boss finds him and destroys his weapon and insertion vehicle because she's an asshole who likes working directly against her main objective, alerting the Russian ground forces to his presence. Snake meets a woman who claims she's EVA, even though she doesn't provide the counter-phrase "La Li Lu Le Lo" to Snake's question "Who are the Patriots?" Which should have told not only him but everyone involved that she wasn't who she said she was, and nobody read EVA's file which would have told them EVA was a man, either that or the NSA doesn't know if their agents are male or female and also doesn't bother writing their names down or taking their picture. Strangely Snake received a full file on this EVA before he met her (as some of it shows up in the radio menu) however he neglects to read the part where it says she was a Chinese spy, because we need some retarded plot twist at the end of the game for a 'Gotcha!' Moment. The two end up fighting the Ocelot Unit and humiliating Major Ocelot once again, even though Ocelot is ADAM and it's in his best interest to work with Snake (somehow nobody remembered he was a NSA defector the first time you met him) and nobody mentions this to Snake, because once again the government doesn't know who their own agents are. Snake fights Ocelot for the first time face-to-face at a crevice, though the fight ends prematurely when a swarm of hornets descends upon them, causing Snake to fall into the crevice.

This leads to Snake's first encounter with a Cobra Unit operative, The Pain, who is infested with throat parasites that give him the scientific ability to control bees with his mind (it's as stupid as it sounds). The Pain wants to fight him for no narrative reason at all, we just needed a boss fight. After defeating The Pain who explodes with a microbomb at the end of the fight (which is retconned in a later game), Snake infiltrates the Granin Design Bureau, where he learns from Director Granin that Volgin is financing Shagohod's development with the Philosophers' Legacy, a hundred-billion-dollar fund entrusted to his father, Boris Volgin, by a shadowy cabal of the world's elite who called themselves the Philosophers. On leaving the Bureau, Snake encounters The Fear, the Cobra Unit's [[Night Lords|stealth and terror specialist]] who has the same parasites as The Pain, though they provide him with different abilities. Once again Snake fights a guy who has no reason to fight him, and after The Fear explodes via microbomb (retconned out later) he passes through the Sokrovenno forest and probably fights The End, the Cobra Unit's centenarian sniper, and the 'father of sniping'. Apparently nobody tried to be a sharpshooter before him, which is strange because this was when the guard's eyesight wasn't that bad. The End is perhaps the only member of the Cobra unit who has a reason to fight Snake, that being he's dying and wants to be killed before he dies of old age, and dies in several different ways depending on what the player did. They could have found the sniper rifle off the beaten path and shot him before this fight, after which Snake gives a depressed message about how sad he is that his mission is closer to being accomplished (this is also back when Snake was retarded), he might die of old age (Snake gives the same message), or you might fight him, in which he blows up via microbomb. The End has the same throat parasites as the other two, though once again his do different things, and depending on the gender of the person they're attached to they make you either require a ghillie suit, or require you to wear nothing but a bikini. After that Snake climbs a mountain path to rendezvous with EVA.

EVA sets out their escape route and tells him where Volgin is holding Sokolov before she has to return to Volgin as Sokolovs' captive lover Tatyana, throughout this she hits on Snake, who reacts as if she just shot his dog. Traveling through underground tunnels, Snake encounters The Fury, the Cobra Unit's flamethrower operative. Like the others he has throat parasites that give him affinity for fire. His fiery, explosive death where he turns into a flaming skull monster (Snake suspects this to have happened thanks to the microbombs, because he's an idiot who believes that blowing up via microbomb turns you into a skull monster) causes the tunnels to collapse. Pressing on, Snake climbs the tallest ladder in the world while the theme song plays in the background to mask the load time to infiltrate the perimeter of Groznyj Grad, Volgin's fortified research facility where Shagohod and Sokolov reside, and the place Snake could have just dropped in at/immediately went towards from the beginning if Ocelot wasn't working against his own orders.

Inside, Snake takes out Major Raikov/Raiden and dons his uniform, completing the disguise with a Raikov/Raiden mask. He doesn't get very far before Volgin sniffs him out and captures him, thanks to the fact that Raikov/Raiden and Volgin are/were in love (yes, seriously). Volgin tortures him for information, literally shocking the piss out of him thanks to his own ability to shoot lightning, before Ocelot walks in and shoots Snakes' right eye, because even though one of the main themes of the game is Patriotism, Ocelot will continuously work against the country he's supposed to work for. Snake escapes captivity through one of many ways, either a ghost gives him a message, he gets it via radio, he tricks the guard or he gets it from a weeaboo (yes, seriously, a weeaboo who's obsessed with all the men in his family being named Johnny) and ends up diving off a storm drain outflow to evade pursuit as he's chased by the Ocelot unit, because Ocelot's loyalty is to whomever it's least convenient for the plot. During his near-death experience, Snake encounters The Sorrow, the Cobra Unit's deceased psychic ops soldier, who confronts him with a waist-deep river filled with the souls of the men he's killed, though this really amounts to nothing as the 'fight' is literally impossible to lose and The Sorrow really doesn't give a shit one way or another.

After coming to and linking up with EVA (also fucking her), Snake returns to Groznyj Grad, armed with a supply of C3 to destroy Shagohod's liquid fuel reserves. Caught in the act, The Boss makes Snake fight Volgin one-on-one while the detonators tick down toward zero, even though she could have started working with him right then and there, which would result in both of their missions being complete without any of the following bullshit: After defeating Volgin, Snake and EVA escape by motorcycle. Shagohod bursts out of its hangar, Volgin at the controls, because Snake runs away without checking to make sure Volgin will stay down, and so starts one of Snakes' major flaws, forgetting to make sure that his enemies are dealt with. Snake collapses a bridge to drop the Shagohod into a ravine, yet the machine drives up the debris in a way it couldn't to continue the pursuit. Even after pummeling it with RPG rounds, Volgin won't give up and controls the machine entirely through electricity once it becomes inoperable (because running electricity through shit causes it to magically become fixed). Snake goes for a third round, this time on foot, before Shagohod is finally destroyed and Volgin is not killed, since Snake again forgets to check if Volgin died or not. Finally, it looks like the mission's a success when they give their pursuers the slip, but EVA crashes their motorcycle and gets impaled by a tree branch.

Snake has to haul the severely wounded EVA through another stretch of forest, evading the ground pursuit, to reach the WIG that she'd prepared for their exit. Before they arrive, Snake has to tie up one last loose end: The Boss. In a field of white flowers, The Boss tells Snake about the Philosophers in a cutscene that mostly repeats information the player already knows and goes on about twenty fucking minutes too long. The cutscene also includes her role as a secret Mercury Program astronaut, witnessing her country's betrayal in the Bay of Pigs incident, and the loss of her child to the Philosophers after giving birth to him on the shores of Normandy. She calls in an airstrike on their location with a ten minute warning and demands that Snake give her his all, for no real reason.

After beating her in a fight, the Boss lays dying or just sleepy (depending on whether or not you used tranq rounds) in the field. She hands Snake a microfilm containing the Philosophers' Legacy since it was her mission to recover it in the beginning (she didn't complete her mission and fake her death because much like her student, she's an idiot) and asks that he use her gun, the Patriot, to finish her. The white flowers turn blood-red after the shot is fired. Snake boards the WIG, but Ocelot gets on as it's leaving to challenge Snake to a final duel, because his main objective is to ensure the USA gets the philosophers legacy, and he loves trying to prevent his own objective from getting accomplished. He loads one of his two revolvers with a single round, juggles them, and offers the choice to Snake. Depending on which gun you choose and where you choose to shoot it the round is either a blank or an actual bullet. If it's fired at one of them, it's a blank, if it's fired at a wall, the blank magically turns into an actual bullet.

After spending the night in the Alaska safehouse fucking EVA, Snake awakes to find EVA gone and a taped message waiting for him. Her message explains that she was a Chinese spy, not the EVA who was supposed to help Snake during his mission (aka information he should have already known), raised by the Philosophers, taught by The Boss, and that his mission was intended to get the Philosophers' Legacy into the hands of the US government, while her mission was to steal it for the Chinese. When Volgin nuked OKB-752, Snake's mission was changed to include killing The Boss as a scapegoat, because losing the greatest soldier in the world during what could have been the worlds greatest war was deemed 'acceptable'.

Back in the USA, Snake receives the Distinguished Service Cross from President Johnson and the title of Big Boss, ruining the Boss's speech about how there always needing to be one Snake, and one Boss (although the speech didn't make sense anyway as Snake wasn't his only codename). He snubs DCI John McCone on his way out, the man ultimately responsible for the death of The Boss. Snake places the Patriot on The Boss's unmarked grave in Arlington and salutes it, a manly tear rolling down his face.

After the credits, we get the customary Ocelot phone call. He assures the KGB director that Groznyj Grad and the Granin Research Bureau were destroyed, Khrushchev is finished, and the Soviet Union can use the details of the Virtuous Mission and Operation Snake Eater to blackmail America. He then calls the DCI to confirm that EVA's copy of the Philosophers' Legacy is a fake, half of the Legacy has made it to America, the Shagohod is destroyed, and that he'd acquired data on Granin's Metal Gear project that America could find useful. He also reveals that he's the real ADAM, a triple agent working for the KGB, Volgin, and the CIA, which the the DCI already knew but never bothered to mention, because keeping his identity secret was considered more important than insuring the world isn't enveloped in Nuclear War.
MGS4 pretty much confirms that all the surviving FOX unit characters from Snake Eater plus Eva and Ocelot are the founders of the Patriots, this happens off-screen of course even though none of the members are given any hint of being tech-savvy or influential enough to make (and install) world-governing AI's, since any time the series writes itself into a corner, more shit will just happen off-screen.

===Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops===
A game of questionable canon not directed or written by Hideo Kojima. The main antagonist is a bigger Villain Sue than Armstrong and Ocelot put together. Which is saying something because either would whip the floor with him. It was also a considered the worst game until recently (see Survive). Which is what you get when the primary writer is known for making shitty harem novels for morbidly obese otaku and directed by a script writer instead of a real director.

===Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots===

===Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker===
The other direct sequel to Metal Gear Solid 3 on the PSP. A much better game between the two. It should have been released on consoles instead as Big Boss can't move and be in the prone position at the same time. This is where the series starts falling apart. As the real brains behind Metal Gear. Tomokazu Fukushima, left Konami during the early development of MGS4.

===Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance===
Set four years after Guns of the Patriots, Revengeace is a completely different beast from any other Metal Gear game. First off, you play as Raiden for the entire game instead of Snake or Big Boss. Second, since this game was developed by Platinum Games instead of Konami, [[Flesh Tearers|stealth is mostly thrown out the window for glorious carnage]] (you can still try to use stealth when it's applicable to make the game easier, as enemies are vulnerable to insta-kills while you're undetected, but nothing's stopping you from just going in and murderfucking everyone.). And third, the stupid over-the-top tropes Metal Gear Solid was known for are hitched up to eleven. Seriously, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfpeFE4QhU0| look at this shit.] That's the equivalent of tossing around a [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)| Warhound Scout Titan]] like a rag doll.

Long story short, Raiden receives a far more powerful cyborg body and is sent to eliminate Desperado; an off-shoot faction of the Patriots led by U.S Senator Armstrong, known for the "Nanomachines, son" [[meme]] and the most patriotic villain ever known. Besides that the plot is pretty much nonexistent, with Raiden running around and pretty much being the living avatar of [[rip and tear|RIP N' TEAR]]. The plot though did have some really funny moments where Raiden discovered the villains plan to create an army, kidnap children from third-world countries, put their brains in jars, have them remote control robots/cyborgs, and once they were skilled enough put their brains in those bodies so that they could get killed on the battlefield, not to mention there's a part where Raiden just lets a bunch of children die because he's too busy posing to help them out. Much like most of the series, this plan is doomed to failure before it starts when you realize that there's already a far better alternative in the form of nanomachines that make you invincible, they only stop working when it's plot convenient. It also regresses Raidens' character a bit (because much like every MGS sequel, the theme of the previous games are ignored), but nobody really gave a shit about that because of all the over-the-top ninja bullshit he constantly pulls off.

===Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain===

==== Ground Zeroes ====

The story begins with Ground Zeroes, set one year after the events of Peace Walker. It turns out Paz, a close friend to Big Boss is alive, but she is being held in an American Interrogation camp on the southern tip of Cuba. Big Boss originally wanted to assassinate Paz because of her ties to the mysterious Cipher organization and suspects she might may have leaked critical information about the Militaires Sans Frontières. Miller on the other hand doesn't believe this and orders Big Boss to bring her back alive for questioning. Coincidentally, Mother Base is scheduled for a United Nations nuclear weapon inspection just as Miller doubts Paz's betrayal. After rescuing Paz and a young boy named Chico, they find out that Paz had a bomb surgically planted in her abdomen as a setup. After a very gruesome scene of surgically removing the bomb from Paz's body, Big Boss successfully disposes the bomb as Paz tries to recover. They return to Mother Base only to see that it has come under attack by Cipher's covert strike force XOF, meaning the inspection was only smokescreen for an attack. Big Boss manages to save Miller and an unnamed soldier (we find out his real alias is Mosquito, but he comes back later on). They all escape as Mother Base collapses and cue for Miller's famous meme quote "They played us like a damn fiddle!". Miller realizes Big Boss was right and demands answers from Paz. That is until Paz claims there is another bomb inside of her (heavily implied to be in her vagina, what the fuck Kojima) as she falls out of the helicopter and the second bomb inside her explodes causing the helicopter to lose control and crashes into another helicopter.

==== The Phantom Pain ====

Big Boss manages to survive the crash but falls into a coma for nine years. A pretty cool opening scene of Big Boss waking up to ''The Man Who Sold the World'' in a hospital bed in Cyprus. The doctors show Big Boss after the explosion that not only did he get shrapnel sticking out of his head and the inside of his body, but he also lost his left forearm in the process. The following night an assassin kills the doctors who took care of Big Boss and nearly kills Big Boss himself. That is until another patient stops the assassin and sets her on fire causing her to jump out the window. The patient reveals himself as 'Ishmael' and helps Big Boss escape (This isn't the only reference to the book Moby Dick, Ishmael calls Big Boss 'Ahab' while Big Boss is equipped with a hook hand prosthetic). As they both approach the elevator, they encounter a child wearing a gas mask and a straight jacket floating in the air (we know what you're thinking and yes, that is Psycho Mantis as a little kid) and a man covered in fire. Since gunfire is useless against him his only weakness is water. They both see that XOF units start killing the patients and hospital staff to ensure there are no witnesses. It becomes clear that they were sent in to eliminate Big Boss after finding out he had just woken up. After facing certain death against XOF soldiers and the Man of Fire, Big Boss and Ishmael escape the hospital using an ambulance. Unfortunately, the ambulance gets attacked by XOF forces and crashes. Big Boss survives, but Ishmael has disappeared leaving Big Boss to fend for himself. Just as an XOF helicopter is hovering over Big Boss, Psycho Mantis shows up then suddenly a giant fucking whale covered in fire swallows the helicopter and destroys it. To make things even more ridiculous, the Man of Fire shows up again riding a fucking winged unicorn made of fire. Luckily, a man riding a horse shows up to Big Boss' aid and that man is none other than Revolver Ocelot (now voiced by Troy Baker). After a chase ensues between the Man of Fire and Big Boss and Ocelot, they both manage to escape. Ocelot reminds Big Boss of what has happened before he fell into a coma and wants to help him and Miller rebuild their private army. It turns out Miller was captured by the Soviets and is being held for interrogation in Afghanistan. Big Boss joins up with Ocelot and sets out for Afghanistan.

===Metal Gear Survive===

A portal in the sky transports you to an alternate dimension after Mother Base was destroyed by XOF, where the Wolbachia parasite has mutated everyone into Romero-like [[zombie]]s. As the name implies; your objective is to survive. Its basically every indie survival horror game you see on Steam, except this comes in with a hefty pricetag of 40 USD/EUR.

From the recent trailers that came out; many people are already turned off by it, citing it as a mediocre survival horror game. As the first game ever worked on without Kojima's input, it easily be called the worst Metal Gear yet and even more inept than Kojima ever was. The story is worse than Snake's Revenge and makes Bethesda era [[Fallout]] look good with sentient nanomachines from the 22nd century via time travel as the main villain. Right out plagiarizing another video game made by Sqaure Enix, Gunslinger Stratos. Just without the alternate universe dopplegangers.

Proving once again that Gakuto Mikumo(who wrote the shitty story of Portable Ops) is a [[Isekai|no talent hack like most light novel writers]]. Blatantly ignoring that the real future of the Metal Gear universe is the much superior Zone of the Enders.(Sahelanthropus looks like a much less advanced Jehuty.)
Most of the game mechanics are a ripoff of Fortnite. The characters are bland and calling you every 30 seconds for who knows what. You are reminded to take food and drink often but it's very difficult to get either. The main character from the single player campaign is a [[Original_character,_do_not_steal|blatant ripoff of Chris Redfeild.]] While the player character is a mute because they couldn't afford to higher real voice actors.
Most real fans would rather let the franchise die at this point and Konami just put the final nail in the coffin. They could let Platinum make Metal Gear Rising or remade the 8-bit era games. Don't mention this to the Survive fanboys who call Kojima a hack or haters cucks or they will chimp out all over the screen.

==See Also==
[[Metal Gear Vindicare]]

[[BattleTech]]

==Gallery==
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Image: MSG Agent Chart.png|Create your own MSG Agent!
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[[Category: Video_Games]]
[[Category: Under_Development]]
[[Category:Meme]]

Metal Gear

2018-02-23T06:17:03Z

2601:147:4200:6280:2450:6AB1:452C:5E62: /* Metal Gear Survive */

[[File: MSG Title.jpeg|thumb|right|Metal Gear Solid title]]
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{{Spoilers}}
If you're here on the Internet and have ''not'' heard of Metal Gear or Metal Gear Solid, you're obviously pretty new or just straight up ignorant... But for the sake [[/tg/]] and everyone, we'll help.

Metal Gear and the subsequent games coming after it are action-adventure stealth games starting in 1987. While Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2 on the <strike>EN EE ESS</strike> EM ES EX TWO were well-received and iconic, it was Metal Gear Solid in 1998 on the PEE ESS JUAN that changed not only the franchise but third-person shooters in general and practically being the herald of stealth games. Though each game has a different story, it typically follows the supersoldier agent Solid Snake or Big Boss during the 21st century and the Cold War as he infiltrates something, destroys whatever's inside, and is a badass while doing it. We would explain more of the story here but honestly it gets stupidly complicated with government conspiracies, clones, ghosts, [[meme|sudden but inevitable betrayals]], and many more. While somewhat grounded in reality it has a very obvious sci-fi feel to it, similar to [[BattleTech]], [[Shadowrun]], and in some ways [[Warhammer 40,000|Warhammer 40K]]. Bedsides it's well crafted game play and sometimes uneven plot, Metal Gear is mainly known for it's [[memes]].

==Metal Gear and /tg/==
Like much of the Internet and 4chan, /tg/ has a pretty distinct love for Metal Gear. We've had several quest threads following the Metal Gear universe, most notably [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Metal%20Gear:%20Rise%20from%20Ashes%20Quest| Rise from Ashes] and [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Revengeance%20Quest| Revengeance Quest]. While there's not a definitive homebrew for it, there's limitless potential and [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38662709/| that certainly hasn't stopped us from trying].

[[Metal Gear Vindicare]] is a pretty obvious /tg/-MSG relation, being inspired by the famous codec used by Solid Snake in the game. Centers around [[Love Can Bloom]] with <s>[[Doomrider]] as a special guest.</s> '''DO COCAAAAIIIINNE!'''

A lot of things about Metal Gear correlate with the interests of fa/tg/uys. Despite what most people think, /tg/ loves their [[tau|giant]] [[Adeptus Evangelion|robots]], which Metal Gear Solid has in spades. There's also a good enough amount of both [[grimdark]] and [[Orks|hilarious stupidity]] to keep a wide variety of neckbeards entertained.

==Characters==
===Solid Snake===
[[File: Solid Snake codec.png|thumb|left|I ''am'' happy]]
The protagonist for most of the games. He starts out his career in Metal Gear as a rookie FOXHOUND agent, uncovering the existence of the Metal Gear and the double-crossing of his superior, Big Boss. He later discovers that he's actually the clone-son of Big Boss, created for reasons that change from game to game. Snake spends the rest of the games fighting Big Bosses' other clones as well as uncovering the grand conspiracy his father had been retconned into fighting, while people talk about how hard the life that he chooses to live is even though it's his own fucking choice. He finally ends his career in Metal Gear Solid 4, his clone-genes rapidly degenerating and near the end of his life (by the time he's in his mid-thirties he's in his late sixties biologically, complete with heart problems and seizures). But he doesn't get to die before finally making amends with his father in a rather hilarious moment where Big Boss is convinced that unless he kills a really old man who was essentially a vegetable the whole series could happen again. In terms of personality there's not much to say, besides him wanting to lead huskies in the Iditarod if he were to ever retire.

===Big Boss===
[[File:Big Boss Salute.jpeg|thumb|right|250px|Good night, sweet prince.]]
Basically [[General Sturnn]]. But with an eye-patch. [[Farsight]] seems to take a lot of inspiration from him too.

While initially portrayed as the villain due to how much he loved war so he could get child soldiers to train into regular soldiers, one could argue whether or not his actions were justified given the later retcon of the Patriots existence (and then they'd remember that whole child soldier bit). Big Boss stars as the protagonist of all the Metal Gear games before Solid begins his career, dating back to the 1960s when he was known as Naked Snake (get it?). Naked Snake discovers the progenitor of Metal Gear in Soviet Russia while also being "betrayed" by his former leader, The Boss. After an arms deal goes wrong, he chooses to kill her to cover up America's involvement, which leaves a lasting impact for the rest of his life and was betrayed by his love interest, EVA, because nobody on the team realized that the agent he was supposed to meet (a man) was actually replaced by EVA (a woman). He decides to abandon the United States (even though patriotism was the theme of the previous game) and create his own military group "Militaires Sans Frontieres," the very mercenary group to have ever existed in the MGS world, later called "Diamond Dogs," while fighting his own shadow war against former comrade Zero who turned evil offscreen and is the founder of the Patriots (also happens offscreen). After fighting a number of early Metal Gear models, Big Boss began building a few Metal Gears of his own to try and even the odds. During a battle against one of the Patriots' splinter groups, Cypher, Big Boss pussies out and decides "Fuck this war, somebody else can deal with this shit" and leaves a body double, Venom Snake, to become the public face of his PMC while he fucked off to who knows where. Originally Big Boss fought Solid Snake in MG1 and died, this was retconned in MG2 where they said he didn't die, just had lots of his body replaced with machinery, and retconned into Venom Snake died instead in MG1, while Big Boss entered into a coma after MG2 until he was revived just after the patriots were defeated (nobody bothered to check to make sure he was dead).
He can also bench press 200 simi odd ton tanks and recharge batteries by eating glowing mushrooms for [[Orks| some reason.]]

===Gray Fox===
Initially just an NPC with some backstory as FOXHOUND's best soldier. In Metal Gear 2 he's retconned as Solid Snake's best friend in Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake.([[Fail| To differentiate it from the load of fail that was Metal Gear 2 on the NES]]) Mid-way into the game in he is revealed as the second in command of Zanzibar Land under Big Boss & the pilot of the first real Metal Gear battle and first of the melee only boss battles, with [[Mekboy | land minds surrounding boss arena]]. Because the AI was shit (and he isn't the player character) he loses to Snake. He also kills his girlfriend accidentally in one of the most heavily foreshadowed scenes of all time.
In Metal Gear Solid he comes back as the first [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Cyborg Ninja]] as a tutorial battle for the game's melee system. [[Railroading| In short telling the player how to beat him.]] His final act is damaging Metal Gear Rex with some kind of [[Skub|laser or plasma weapon]] that he didn't have in previous appearances before being squished by Metal Gear. So Snake can finally defeat Rex with his Stinger Missiles. Also appears in a prequel game of [[C.S. Goto|questionable canon]].
Later on his backstory was expanded a little more, and it was revealed that he was a child soldier fighting in an area well known for their child soldiers, and he was able to amass a large kill-streak because none of his enemies thought that child soldiers existed, [[Fail|in an area full of them.]]
His ability to lower the intelligence of everyone he met impressed the CIA, who decided to make him into the perfect soldier, unfortunately this ability affected the CIA too and they assumed that wiping all of his memories, including the memory of any martial art he knew or fought against, would make him a better fighter.
He also later murdered the parents of Naomi, then chose to adopt her, because why not? Naomi is also the person who turns him into a cyborg and then lets him loose, knowing full well that he'll want another rematch against Snake, and knowing full well that if Snake failed to complete the mission a Nuke could be launched against the US, though luckily assisting in the act of nuclear terrorism only gets you a verbal reprimand, so she gets away just fine.

===Liquid Snake===
[[File:Brother Liquid.png|thumb|right|Liquid quite literally most of the time.]]
The antagonist of Metal Gear Solid and Snake's clone brother. Liquid has a distinctly British accent and blond hair. According to the game's very loose grasp of genetics, Liquid inherited all the recessive genes of Big Boss, while Snake inherited all the dominant genes, and because of this he believed he was made from "inferior genes" and that's the reason he's evil. No seriously, the entire reason he's evil is because he doesn't like how he looks, and thus becomes Doctor Doom. Even as a child, he was a surprisingly competent soldier, giving Venom Snake (who he believed was his father Big Boss) a lot of headaches when he started acting out, he also murdered kids and stole the Metal Gear Venom Snake had before vanishing in a cliffhanger that never got resolved in the main series (you'll have to look to youtube to see what they wanted to do). Liquid would have died from Skull Face's parasite had he not become BFFs with his future comrade, Psycho Mantis who had the ability to do pretty much everything, and was retconned into being possessed by Liquid since Psycho Mantis now gets possessed by non-Psychic people, even though he's wearing his mask which was designed to stop peoples thoughts from entering his head. Liquid has massive Daddy issues (the aforementioned genes) and is incredibly stupid, which lead him to rebel against the US government and seize Metal Gear REX for himself. He also really hates Snake for the same aforementioned gene issue, possessing a really intense inferiority complex and needing to constantly prove himself. Also turned Gray Fox into a blood puddle, because can't aim a [[fail|laser for crap]]. Snake fights him several times, including shooting down his helicopter and Metal Gear Rex, but the bastard JUST. WON'T. DIE. Of course he finally does die from an engineered virus... sort of. "Liquid" takes possession of Ocelot but this was retconned out later so it doesn't matter.

===Ocelot===
A Russian gunslinger and a guy with a LOT of mixed loyalties that make no sense when you think about it. Formerly a member of GRU (the Soviet Military's version of the civilian KGB) and a secret agent for the USA, Ocelot joined with Big Boss (due to wanting to fuck him), helping him in secret despite nominally being a member of the Patriots (and later deciding to destroy them). Ocelot joined Liquid's rebellion, but only to act as the Patriot's inside man and steal the plans for Metal Gear REX, even though as the governing intelligence they would already have had them. He also manages to steal Metal Gear RAY, but at this point he starts acting out his secret plan to destroy the Patriots from within. How does he do this? Well....

# [[What|Pretend to be possessed by the ghost of Liquid]] and steal Metal Gear RAY which was later retconned into him using hypnosis to make himself think he's Liquid, which gives him all of Liquid's personalities and skills, because that's what happens in this universe (it's how Big Boss made his body double too).
# Use one of the Patriots' AI to infiltrate their system and take effective control over their military assets, because AI who know that the new AI will be under Liquid's control will just hand it to him and wait to die.
# When the patriots send Snake after him, put up a convincing show of resistance by attempting to kill him multiple times.
# Steal the railgun off of Metal Gear REX and aim it at the Patriots' main satellite, which is still armed with a live nuke because nobody in the government told their successors about the nuke, because written logs don't exist in this world, everything is passed down through word of mouth, and the patriots forgot that the nuke was there too.
# Hope that Snake is still alive at this point and that he's developed the worm necessary to kill the Patriots AI, which Liquid could have done at any time so he wouldn't have had to worry about all the earlier bullshit.
# Fistfight him bare-chested until you die of exhaustion.
# ???
# Profit!
Yeah... when we talk about how convoluted the story is, it's usually Ocelot's fault. Still, for an elderly old bastard, he's pretty damn badass. Dude can also pull off some [[/co/|Taskmaster]] level shit and bite CQC moves from his opponents. He's also the third canon cyborg via replacing Liquid's Arm with a prosthetic and [[What|dented his own ship with it.]]

Also, he has a [[Slaanesh| torture fetish]] and is a [[Furry|furry old fuck.]]

===Otacon===
The [[weeaboo]] of the series. We're not exaggerating, by the way. He wanted to work on Metal Gear REX specifically because he's obsessed with [[anime]]. Otacon is your typical nerdy support character, giving Snake technical assistance in his fight against the Metal Gears and is the only reason REX was able to be defeated because he intentionally developed it with an exploitable weak spot that would have made it a hindrance against on the battlefield. This carries over to the next several games where he'll design something far inferior to what already existed, only to let you use that better thing later on anyway. He's also a quite literally hopeless romantic, as his two romantic interests ended up dying. Though to be honest, the first was a terrorist who showed no real interest in him, and the second was Naomi, who upon realizing she had cancer that wasn't doing a fucking thing because she stopped it with nanomachines, decided to commit suicide. Also we learn that his dad committed suicide because he had sex with his stepmom. Yeah.

===Huey===
Otacon's dad. Despite having the same general appearance, voice actor, and role as Otacon, Huey deserves special mention for how much of a [[that guy|cock]] he is and how despite all his faults, Otacon is infinitely more tolerable. So, he's a paraplegic engineer who got drafted by the CIA into helping to build Peace Walker, not realizing how insane the project really is (this is a persistent theme for him). After being rescued by Big Boss, Huey works for him and develops Metal Gear ZEKE as a counter to the various AI weapons the CIA had built. He also ended up marrying his design partner, the heavily-implied-to-have-had-a-lesbian-crush-on-The-Boss Dr. Strangelove, with whom they had a son named Hal (aka Otacon). Now, here's where the dark shit settles in: <s> after getting tricked by Cipher into letting them onto Mother Base to destroy it </s> after selling out Big Boss and MSF to Cipher, Huey gets abducted and is forced to work on a new Metal Gear, Sahelanthropus. Because the cockpit can't fit a full-sized human, he tries to get his son Hal to pilot it. Strangelove vehemently opposes this, so he ends up stuffing her inside an AI pod to suffocate. After getting recaptured by Big Boss, he insists that he never betrayed him and that he wasn't willingly working for Cipher. But after Big Boss succeeds in defeating Skull Face, Huey steals the vocal chord parasite and makes it more deadly by making it immune to its original antidote in an attempt to sell it to Cipher for protection, even having the gall to call Big Boss a murderer for mercy-killing the men Huey infected. Naturally, this pisses off Big Boss, so he sends him adrift on a tiny life raft. Huey lives out the rest of his days being a bad parent, eventually drowning himself (and nearly drowning his stepdaughter) when he found out Hal had sex with his new wife. After learning all that, one can only imagine how badly Hal was treated and feel some genuine pity for him.

===Meryl===
Colonel Roy Campbell's daughter (he told everyone she was his niece because he didn't want them to know her mother had an affair with him) and the only FOXHOUND agent to not join Liquid's rebellion. She starts out as a rookie way in over her head, but she helps out Snake by providing him with useful information. Snake also starts to develop a romantic interest in her after all the shit they go through, and then dumps her to go hunt Metal Gears because Snake decided that Metal Gears shouldn't exist, a plan which was doomed to failure since their design was on the internet and literally everyone could download it. In Metal Gear Solid, depending on whether Snake submits to Ocelot's torture, Meryl lives or dies at the end of the game. This is later retconned in Metal Gear Solid 4, where she lives but also learns the truth that she's Roy's daughter, not his niece, which pisses her off. Meryl becomes the commander of her own unit which she names after the group who tried to kill her, and decides that because at this point Snake's turned into a crusty old fart, she's going to marry her perpetually incontinent subordinate stalker (he saw her once and was then pining for her years after the fact), who's also a weeaboo.

===Raiden===
He's introduced as the "true" protagonist of Metal Gear Solid 2, but his original appearance is nowhere near as badass as Snake. He's a [[Fulgrim|white-haired effeminate Bishie]] that tends to rile up most people who loathe anime stereotypes. Raiden starts out as a Child Soldier in Africa (despite being whiter than white-out) before being taken in by the Patriots as their successor to Solid Snake. He's lived nearly his entire life in simulations and being fucked over by AIs. Once he's actually let out into the real world to stop Solidus and his terror cell, he meets Snake, and together they discover the existence of the Patriots.

Raiden gets a significant upgrade after MGS2, where he gets kidnapped by the Patriots and has his entire body below his upper jaw cut off and replaced by a cyborg ninja body (akin to a reverse [[Ferrus Manus]]). Everyone agrees that his version of Raiden is much better, and he ends up starring in the spin-off game Metal Gear Rising, where he uses his sword and ninja athleticism to fight other cyborgs and a regular human who was stronger than him due to having [[Flash Gitz| a better weapon, Power Armor]] and skills. In the Metal Gear verse your top of the line upgrades are [[Games Workshop|barely useful in less than four years]].

===Solidus===
The last of Big Bosses' clones, Solidus was much more under the control of the Patriots, sometimes. He spent some time fighting in Africa, where he picked up an orphaned Raiden and turned him into a pawn of the Patriots. While he was eventually made President, this really didn't count for much as the Patriots still made all the decisions and he was basically a puppet. Solidus decides that he's had enough of this shit and steals the Patriots' new warship, Arsenal Gear, and decides to take the fight directly to them. Of course, this didn't end well for him when Snake and Raiden interfere and the ship crashes into Manhattan. He gets killed by Raiden, sort of-not really as nobody bothered to check the body (falling into a coma instead of dying), but his body ends up being a macguffin because his DNA is an exact match to Big Boss, allowing Ocelot to hack into the Patriots network, because even though the Patriots know what's happening and could stop it they let it happen anyway.

===The Patriots===
Also known as "Cipher", or "La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo" if you're under their direct control since they decided the best way to hide their name is telling everyone that they can't say their name. Financed by the inheritance of the 20th Century's wealthiest men, the Patriots control literally everything. Originally this was a group formed by Big Boss, Zero, Sigint, Para-Medic, Ocelot, and Eva in order to fulfill The Boss' wishes of uniting the world and ending the Cold War since the entire series is based around people wanting to do what The Boss wanted to do, despite most of them having minimal attachment to the boss at best. However, this group split in half over differences on how to fulfill this vision. Zero wanted to control the entire world and all facets of human life through all-knowing AIs, while Big Boss wanted to create "Outer Heaven," a place where soldiers would always belong and not be the puppets of governments (because having people always ready to fight would obviously mean everyone becomes peaceful and happy). When Zero went comatose, the group was taken over for a short time by Skull Face, the guy responsible for cleaning up the mess in MGS3 even though there wasn't anyone like that originally (retcon) and the location should have made it impossible. He wanted to fulfill the Boss' vision by eliminating language itself using a language-based parasite because he believed that a persons personality and way of thinking had everything to do with the language they spoke (he was also retarded). Eventually the Patriots was controlled by Five AIs: JD, GW, TJ, AL, & TR (John Doe, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and Theodore Roosevelt respectively) who had no self preservation whatsoever. These AIs decided that the best thing to unite the world was to plunge it into perpetual conflict and proxy wars, bringing together the worst of Zero's and Big Boss' visions and directly working against everything the series said they were working towards. The Patriots AI were killed off when Snake unwittingly uploaded a worm that killed all of them, finally freeing the world from their influence.

==Types of Metal Gears==
If the title of the game didn't hint at it enough, a prominent part of the game(s) are these giant mechs called (you guessed it) Metal Gears. In the beginning they're simply mobile platforms to launch nuclear weapons, but they evolve to fulfill many other roles and become far more dangerous in general.

'''Shagohod''': Technically not a Metal Gear, but created the precedent for mobile nuclear platforms. This crazy contraption was basically a giant armored hovercraft (Move Trough Cover) that would rocket-boost (one-turn Fast Tank) in order to give its nuclear payload an extra boost and was designed to launch nukes from any surface, giving the Soviet Union the edge in the Cold War. Of course the whole point of the Cold War was that both sides were fucked if ANY nukes were launched so it became pointless before it was built. It also had point-defenses up the wazzoo.

'''Metal Gear RAXA''': The first proper Metal Gear ever built. A four-legged Metal Gear that could be launched from a ICBM. If you're asking why in the fuck they have to use a Metal Gear as a middleman nuclear platform when they're already launching it from an ICBM, supposedly it's because the missiles are harder to intercept on the Metal Gear than on the ICBM... but who's to say they can't intercept the ICBM carrying the Metal Gear?

'''Peace Walker''': A four-legged walker that was fully AI controlled. It's described as having a stealth frame, but it wouldn't exactly be hard to spot considering the size of the thing. It could only fire nukes defensively, but could be tricked into launching a premature attack through a plot that understood little to nothing of mutually assured destruction.

'''Metal Gear ZEKE''': Big Boss' first attempt at a Metal Gear, this one was fully bipedal. Originally it was AI controlled too, but was modified to use a human pilot when Cypher attempted to steal it, the modifications being completed in days or minutes depending on when you last checked it, and nobody guarding it thought that it was a good idea to stop the modifications that weren't supposed to happen, and the two people doing them would never have been able to make them in the first place. This metal gear was also customizable and could be sent out on combat missions alongside MSF soldiers.

'''Sahelanthropus''': This one was designed by Otacon's Dad, Huey. While technically more advanced than Metal Gear REX in that it could walk upright, one flaw was that the cockpit was too small for a full-sized human. Cypher got around this by using Pyscho Mantis to control it psychically, because in Phantom Pain Psycho Mantis could do whatever he wanted, which makes you question why they need robots when they already have control over a superhuman. Sahelanthropus is also the absolute proof of why Metal Gears are useless (as if Metal Gear: Rising didn't already do that), despite costing millions to make and countless resources, it's easily defeated by a man on a man-sized robot that would have cost a fraction of the resources to develop, and if it didn't have the ability to create clouds that destroyed metal, it could have been easily defeated by one tank.

'''TX-55''': The Metal Gear that appears in the first game (which is now chronologically not the first one). This model didn't have that many frills, it was simply a robot that could fire nukes. It does nothing while Snake just uses C4 to blow it up and dodges the [[Rage|annoying laser cameras]]. Presumably it's the most durable one because the only way to hurt it is to use a shitload of C4 on its legs in a certain order, because that's how explosives work.

'''Metal Gear D''': The first real Metal Gear the player ever fights in the release order. An upgraded version of TX-55. It only had a machine guns and missiles during it's boss battle. It's sprite makes it look as if could launch [[Anal_circumference|six nukes one after another]].

'''Metal Gear REX''': This dinosaur-looking motherfucker takes the original Metal Gear concept one step further by firing nukes from a [[Tau|railgun]] instead of a ballistic missile, making nukes nearly impossible to track (though it was never designed to do so, it just happened to work out that way). It also had a badass assortment of weaponry, from Gatling Guns to crotch lasers and a crap-ton of missiles. Liquid only uses the anti tank missiles. Even after Snake battled it in MGS1, it was still tough enough to take on RAY in MGS4. After MGS1, hundreds of REX knockoffs started spreading throughout the world thanks to Ocelot's douchebaggery.

'''Metal Gear RAY''': Designed to be the ultimate anti-Metal Gear weapon, RAY failed fucking hard in that regard. It's amphibious by design, and instead of carrying nukes, its weapons include a powerful water cannon that can cut metal. Despite being built specifically to fight Metal Gears, it still loses in a fight against an already damaged Metal Gear REX. For some reason Ocelot never uses the laser or the missile spam attack seen in Metal Gear Solid 2 when he pilots the manned version in MGS4. Still not a cake walk though since you need too spam the fire button instead of holding it down to make this fight easier. Since Metal Gear battles that are not the first boss hardly ever are.
The others seen in MGS2 and Rising are unmanned knockoffs.

'''Metal Gear RAY MOD0''': An upgrade over RAY seen in Metal Gear Rising. With the rise of carbon nano-tube tech; the armor was made lighter and stronger, allowing it to carry more weapons. Upgrades include: 4 limb-mounted twin-linked gatling guns, micro and macro missile launchers, an HF arm blade roughly the size of a small building, and a mouth-mounted plasma cannon. Despite all this, every last one of these guys encountered were destroyed by some Rhodesian weeaboo ninja with a sharp stick and a smart-talking Brazilian samurai with an incomprehensibly powerful sword and fighting technique.

'''Metal Gear EXCELSUS''': Not really a Metal Gear, it was only named so for marketing reasons, but still impractically awesome either way. Seen only in Metal Gear Rising; EXCELSUS was meant as an anti-cyborg gear, because cyborgs were becoming too powerful for conventional warfare. Due to this, people thought the only counter to this was to go back to making giant mechs with impractically large and powerful weapons (under the logic that if you can't outmanuver them; outgun them). EXCELSUS is basically a scorpion-shaped mech roughly as tall and wide a sports stadium and armed with two giant HF blades and twin plasma cannons. Its destroyed by Raiden in the most hilariously over-the-top way possible; he bodyslams it to the ground, rips one of it's arm blades off, and engages it in an arm-wrestling match with one of it's severed arms.

'''Gekko''': Quite possibly the dumbest looking mechs in science fiction, the Gekkos are small Metal Gears made up of a combination of synthetic organic muscle and mechanical technology. They have the head/upper body of a REX, but they have a pair of lizard legs to walk around on. You'd think that those legs would be easy pickings for bullets, but actually they won't buckle for anything less than explosives. They also allow the GEKKO to jump really high, climb on walls, and sweep kick you, so good luck running away from them. They also moo like cows and take shits. Seriously. We're not fucking joking.

==Plot==
===Metal Gear ===
The original NES port of Metal was a load of [[fail]]. Proving that even thirty years ago PC gaming is superior to consoles. Seriously some of the maps are removed and a few of the boss battles have been changed. It also takes out Big Boss's [[Troll|importance to the original plot.]] Reading about Phantom Pain first will be spoilers for this game so be warned.

===Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake===
Subtitle included because the original non-canon Metal Gear 2 NES is a run and gun shooter with a story that [[Spiritual_liege| makes less sense then usual]].

===Metal Gear Solid===
Snake's decided to retire from the spy business after having to kill his father <s>twice</s> once (first one was actually Venom Snake) to live out his dream of training racing huskies in the Alaskan wilderness. But Colonel Campbell comes knocking at his door, telling him that FOXHOUND's turned traitor and have taken a nuclear disposal facility hostage. After getting some weird shots from Dr. Naomi Hunter, he gets his SCUBA on and sneaks into the base. There he quickly discovers that the leader of the rebellion is Liquid Snake, Solid Snake's clone brother with a massive hate-boner for both their father and himself. The other FOXHOUND members include Revolver Ocelot, Decoy Octopus, Vulcan Raven, Sniper Wolf, and Psycho Mantis; the only FOXHOUND agent who didn't join the rebellion was Campbell's niece Meryl. After sneaking around the base trying to rescue the hostages, both Darpa Chief Donald Anderson (Sigint in MGS3) and Armstech President Kenneth Baker die suddenly of a heart attack mid-conversation. Snake later learns that the shot he received earlier was actually the FOXDIE virus, a genome-specific disease that kills specific individuals (and that the Darpa Chief was actually Decoy Octopus, whereas the real one had already died from torture). Furthermore, the nuclear disposal facility is actually a secret testing ground for the newest Metal Gear model, Metal Gear REX.

Snake tracks down REX's designer, Otacon, just as he's been cornered by a creepy cyborg ninja. Said ninja is actually Gray Fox, Snake's old BFF who's gone completely mental. (Naomi later reveals that she's not only Gray Fox's sister and wants to kill Snake for what he did to him, but also modified FOXDIE so that he'll be targeted as well at a random time... except wouldn't he already have been a target since he and Liquid have the exact same genome? Kojima just doesn't understand genetics at all.) After fighting him off, Otacon helps out Snake in finding out how to stop the terrorists from using REX's stealth nuke capabilities. Snake also meets up with Meryl, who gives him the PAL card needed to disarm Metal Gear REX. After fighting Psycho Mantis (Who has a memorable boss fight in which he literally blanks the entire screen and forces you to change controllers) and Vulcan Raven, Snake is captured by Sniper Wolf after she shoots Meryl, while Ocelot tortures Snake. Here, if Snake submits to the torture, Meryl dies at the end, otherwise she survives. Anyway, with Otacon's help, Snake is able to escape captivity, destroys Liquid's helicopter, defeats Sniper Wolf, and sneaks into Rex's lair. After defeating Vulcan Raven a second time, Snake finally reaches REX itself, figuring out that the system requires three key cards to disarm even though he only has the one. However, Otacon tells him that [[what|he already has all three key cards]] because its designed to change shape with temperature. So after traipsing around in the lair he disarms REX... [[fail|except that it was all a ruse and he ended up arming it instead]]. Liquid takes control of REX and challenges Snake to a fight. Luckily Gray Fox intervenes and helps to expose REX's cockpit, allowing Snake to shoot at liquid directly. Que a fistfight atop Rex, followed by the sudden reveal that the Secretary of State is going to bomb the whole island to cover the entire incident up, followed by a high-speed chase in which Liquid attempts to kill Snake one last time. Finally Liquid succumbs to FOXDIE while Snake and Otacon or Meryl walk away with him into the rising sun.

Que one final cutscene in which Ocelot is revealed to have survived, and has stolen the plans for Metal Gear REX, under orders of President Solidus Snake.

===Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty===
Hoo boy, this is where the series starts getting weird. After the events of MGS, Snake and Otacon form an NGO that tracks and monitors the proliferation of Metal Gear platforms around the world. When Otacon gets a tip that the US Marine Corps has a new super Metal Gear designed specifically to fight other MGs, Snake sneaks onboard the oil tanker it's hidden in to get proof. A Russian mercenary company also boards the ship, killing the Marines on patrol and making Snake's job just that much harder. Snake incapacitates the mercs' field commander and finds Metal Gear RAY in the deep holds of the ship. He also finds Revolver Ocelot, who declares that he's "taking it back" for the Patriots, kills the Marine commandant, and takes RAY, sinking the ship in the process. Snake is presumed killed in action.

Two years later, a terrorist group called "the Sons of Liberty" take over the Big Shell cleanup rig at the site of the tanker's sinking and take hostages, including the President of the United States. FOXHOUND sends in a covert operative to rescue the hostages and take out the Sons of Liberty, whose leader claims to be Solid Snake. The operative, code named "Raiden," gets jerked around by his handler Colonel Campbell, his data analyst and girlfriend Rosemary, and a SEAL Team 10 survivor named Iroquois Plisken (Solid Snake in a totally unconvincing disguise) as they track down the Sons of Liberty, disarm explosives, and have long, rambling conversations on the nature of free will.

The events of this operation play out suspiciously like the events of the Shadow Moses operation in the previous game, culminating in the reveal that the whole thing was an attempt by the Patriots to replicate the circumstances that led to Solid Snake's transformation into one of the most effective operators in the world, using Raiden as a test subject. Ocelot got an arm transplant with Liquid Snake as the donor, and now Liquid's ghost can possess him. The Sons of Liberty were pawns, despite "Solid Snake" (actually Solidus, the third Snake) thinking he was rebelling against them by doing this. Dead Cell, the US Navy anti-terror unit created by President Sears (again, actually Solidus) to test military security, was used as a stand-in for the rogue FOXHOUND operatives from Shadow Moses, the Patriots liquidating them in order to drive them into Solidus's arms. Dead Cell member Fortune's entire misfortunate history (losing her father, husband, and unborn child) was engineered by the Patriots. The mysterious cyborg that's helping Raiden is Olga Gurlukovich, the Russian merc commander forced to work for the Patriots lest they kill the daughter they stole from her. The President was a willing participant in the entire charade because he wanted the power that being part of the Patriots could offer. The Big Shell is a cover for the construction of Arsenal Gear, an aircraft carrier-sized platform for monitoring and censoring Internet traffic and protected by two dozen RAY drones. The oil spill was created by the Patriots to justify the construction of Big Shell (remember the conspicuous lack of any oil in the tanker).

And then the narrative goes totally off the rails. Otacon's sister Emma, rescued by Raiden and then killed by Dead Cell operative Vamp, delivers a computer worm that Otacon uses to infect Arsenal Gear, then Snake sucker punches Raiden to get him brought into Arsenal. The Colonel starts going berserk, calling Raiden with nonsense and gibberish. Snake finds Raiden's gear, gives it back, and also gives him a high-frequency sword that becomes his signature weapon henceforth. Battling to the core of Arsenal, Raiden fights its entire complement of RAYs with a Stinger missile system. Solidus, the Patriots, and "Liquid" Ocelot all reveal their goals: to hunt down the Patriots, to control global information context, and to find and destroy the Patriots, respectively. Arsenal Gear crashes into the Lower West Side of Manhattan, and Solidus and Raiden fight on the roof of Federal Hall.

With Solidus dead, Raiden and Snake figure out what to do next. Snake and Otacon plan to mine the worm's code for information on the Patriots while Raiden reunites with Rose (who is totally real and not living in Canada), finally remembering why April 30th is so important to her: it was the day they first met.

===Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater===
Chronologically the first game in the series, MGS3 is pretty much a Fix Fic for the [[C.S. Goto|half assed story of MGS2]]. Force Operation X drops one of their operatives, Naked Snake, into Soviet territory to help scientist Nikolai Stepanovich Sokolov defect. Again (Major Zero of FOX had to give him back to the Soviets to end the Cuban Missile Crisis just days after crossing the Berlin Wall). Just as Snake is leaving with Sokolov, they are surrounded by KGB agents. Ocelot, a young major in GRU, arrives, kills the KGB agents with a dazzling display of gunplay, and then gets his ass handed to him by Snake. A sporting chap, Snake offers Ocelot tips on his gun handling before Ocelot passes out. Before they can leave, The Boss arrives in the AO, declaring her own defection to the Soviet Union. This is later revealed to be a ploy, though it should have been obvious to anyone with a brain that it was a ruse since the government told you she was on a nuclear sub and if her defection really was legit then they wouldn't have known where she was. If this was legit, this also means that they would have lost sight of not only the greatest soldier in the world, but her entire unit. She breaks Snake's arm for no reason other than to be an asshole and throws him off a rope bridge. Colonel Volgin of GRU uses an M388 Davey Crockett, given to him by The Boss, to destroy Sokolov's design bureau, thus ending the Cold War, as this is now an American nuke brought into Russia by an American and fired by a defector. Everyone still calls it the Cold War anyway because this plot point is forgotten almost immediately once the intro is over.

In order to stop a full-scale war, America has to prove to Russia that they were not behind the attack on OKB-752, a plan doomed to failure because they obviously were and it's revealed in the end that they definitely were. Major Zero is forced to send Snake back into action with only two weeks to heal, his new mission: rescue Sokolov, kill The Boss (for some reason), her team (the Cobra Unit), and Colonel Volgin, and destroy Volgin's pet project, the Shagohod. In exchange, the Soviets will provide access to a communication satellite and two spies, NSA defectors codenamed ADAM and EVA.

Snake is inserted into the area of operation again, but The Boss finds him and destroys his weapon and insertion vehicle because she's an asshole who likes working directly against her main objective, alerting the Russian ground forces to his presence. Snake meets a woman who claims she's EVA, even though she doesn't provide the counter-phrase "La Li Lu Le Lo" to Snake's question "Who are the Patriots?" Which should have told not only him but everyone involved that she wasn't who she said she was, and nobody read EVA's file which would have told them EVA was a man, either that or the NSA doesn't know if their agents are male or female and also doesn't bother writing their names down or taking their picture. Strangely Snake received a full file on this EVA before he met her (as some of it shows up in the radio menu) however he neglects to read the part where it says she was a Chinese spy, because we need some retarded plot twist at the end of the game for a 'Gotcha!' Moment. The two end up fighting the Ocelot Unit and humiliating Major Ocelot once again, even though Ocelot is ADAM and it's in his best interest to work with Snake (somehow nobody remembered he was a NSA defector the first time you met him) and nobody mentions this to Snake, because once again the government doesn't know who their own agents are. Snake fights Ocelot for the first time face-to-face at a crevice, though the fight ends prematurely when a swarm of hornets descends upon them, causing Snake to fall into the crevice.

This leads to Snake's first encounter with a Cobra Unit operative, The Pain, who is infested with throat parasites that give him the scientific ability to control bees with his mind (it's as stupid as it sounds). The Pain wants to fight him for no narrative reason at all, we just needed a boss fight. After defeating The Pain who explodes with a microbomb at the end of the fight (which is retconned in a later game), Snake infiltrates the Granin Design Bureau, where he learns from Director Granin that Volgin is financing Shagohod's development with the Philosophers' Legacy, a hundred-billion-dollar fund entrusted to his father, Boris Volgin, by a shadowy cabal of the world's elite who called themselves the Philosophers. On leaving the Bureau, Snake encounters The Fear, the Cobra Unit's [[Night Lords|stealth and terror specialist]] who has the same parasites as The Pain, though they provide him with different abilities. Once again Snake fights a guy who has no reason to fight him, and after The Fear explodes via microbomb (retconned out later) he passes through the Sokrovenno forest and probably fights The End, the Cobra Unit's centenarian sniper, and the 'father of sniping'. Apparently nobody tried to be a sharpshooter before him, which is strange because this was when the guard's eyesight wasn't that bad. The End is perhaps the only member of the Cobra unit who has a reason to fight Snake, that being he's dying and wants to be killed before he dies of old age, and dies in several different ways depending on what the player did. They could have found the sniper rifle off the beaten path and shot him before this fight, after which Snake gives a depressed message about how sad he is that his mission is closer to being accomplished (this is also back when Snake was retarded), he might die of old age (Snake gives the same message), or you might fight him, in which he blows up via microbomb. The End has the same throat parasites as the other two, though once again his do different things, and depending on the gender of the person they're attached to they make you either require a ghillie suit, or require you to wear nothing but a bikini. After that Snake climbs a mountain path to rendezvous with EVA.

EVA sets out their escape route and tells him where Volgin is holding Sokolov before she has to return to Volgin as Sokolovs' captive lover Tatyana, throughout this she hits on Snake, who reacts as if she just shot his dog. Traveling through underground tunnels, Snake encounters The Fury, the Cobra Unit's flamethrower operative. Like the others he has throat parasites that give him affinity for fire. His fiery, explosive death where he turns into a flaming skull monster (Snake suspects this to have happened thanks to the microbombs, because he's an idiot who believes that blowing up via microbomb turns you into a skull monster) causes the tunnels to collapse. Pressing on, Snake climbs the tallest ladder in the world while the theme song plays in the background to mask the load time to infiltrate the perimeter of Groznyj Grad, Volgin's fortified research facility where Shagohod and Sokolov reside, and the place Snake could have just dropped in at/immediately went towards from the beginning if Ocelot wasn't working against his own orders.

Inside, Snake takes out Major Raikov/Raiden and dons his uniform, completing the disguise with a Raikov/Raiden mask. He doesn't get very far before Volgin sniffs him out and captures him, thanks to the fact that Raikov/Raiden and Volgin are/were in love (yes, seriously). Volgin tortures him for information, literally shocking the piss out of him thanks to his own ability to shoot lightning, before Ocelot walks in and shoots Snakes' right eye, because even though one of the main themes of the game is Patriotism, Ocelot will continuously work against the country he's supposed to work for. Snake escapes captivity through one of many ways, either a ghost gives him a message, he gets it via radio, he tricks the guard or he gets it from a weeaboo (yes, seriously, a weeaboo who's obsessed with all the men in his family being named Johnny) and ends up diving off a storm drain outflow to evade pursuit as he's chased by the Ocelot unit, because Ocelot's loyalty is to whomever it's least convenient for the plot. During his near-death experience, Snake encounters The Sorrow, the Cobra Unit's deceased psychic ops soldier, who confronts him with a waist-deep river filled with the souls of the men he's killed, though this really amounts to nothing as the 'fight' is literally impossible to lose and The Sorrow really doesn't give a shit one way or another.

After coming to and linking up with EVA (also fucking her), Snake returns to Groznyj Grad, armed with a supply of C3 to destroy Shagohod's liquid fuel reserves. Caught in the act, The Boss makes Snake fight Volgin one-on-one while the detonators tick down toward zero, even though she could have started working with him right then and there, which would result in both of their missions being complete without any of the following bullshit: After defeating Volgin, Snake and EVA escape by motorcycle. Shagohod bursts out of its hangar, Volgin at the controls, because Snake runs away without checking to make sure Volgin will stay down, and so starts one of Snakes' major flaws, forgetting to make sure that his enemies are dealt with. Snake collapses a bridge to drop the Shagohod into a ravine, yet the machine drives up the debris in a way it couldn't to continue the pursuit. Even after pummeling it with RPG rounds, Volgin won't give up and controls the machine entirely through electricity once it becomes inoperable (because running electricity through shit causes it to magically become fixed). Snake goes for a third round, this time on foot, before Shagohod is finally destroyed and Volgin is not killed, since Snake again forgets to check if Volgin died or not. Finally, it looks like the mission's a success when they give their pursuers the slip, but EVA crashes their motorcycle and gets impaled by a tree branch.

Snake has to haul the severely wounded EVA through another stretch of forest, evading the ground pursuit, to reach the WIG that she'd prepared for their exit. Before they arrive, Snake has to tie up one last loose end: The Boss. In a field of white flowers, The Boss tells Snake about the Philosophers in a cutscene that mostly repeats information the player already knows and goes on about twenty fucking minutes too long. The cutscene also includes her role as a secret Mercury Program astronaut, witnessing her country's betrayal in the Bay of Pigs incident, and the loss of her child to the Philosophers after giving birth to him on the shores of Normandy. She calls in an airstrike on their location with a ten minute warning and demands that Snake give her his all, for no real reason.

After beating her in a fight, the Boss lays dying or just sleepy (depending on whether or not you used tranq rounds) in the field. She hands Snake a microfilm containing the Philosophers' Legacy since it was her mission to recover it in the beginning (she didn't complete her mission and fake her death because much like her student, she's an idiot) and asks that he use her gun, the Patriot, to finish her. The white flowers turn blood-red after the shot is fired. Snake boards the WIG, but Ocelot gets on as it's leaving to challenge Snake to a final duel, because his main objective is to ensure the USA gets the philosophers legacy, and he loves trying to prevent his own objective from getting accomplished. He loads one of his two revolvers with a single round, juggles them, and offers the choice to Snake. Depending on which gun you choose and where you choose to shoot it the round is either a blank or an actual bullet. If it's fired at one of them, it's a blank, if it's fired at a wall, the blank magically turns into an actual bullet.

After spending the night in the Alaska safehouse fucking EVA, Snake awakes to find EVA gone and a taped message waiting for him. Her message explains that she was a Chinese spy, not the EVA who was supposed to help Snake during his mission (aka information he should have already known), raised by the Philosophers, taught by The Boss, and that his mission was intended to get the Philosophers' Legacy into the hands of the US government, while her mission was to steal it for the Chinese. When Volgin nuked OKB-752, Snake's mission was changed to include killing The Boss as a scapegoat, because losing the greatest soldier in the world during what could have been the worlds greatest war was deemed 'acceptable'.

Back in the USA, Snake receives the Distinguished Service Cross from President Johnson and the title of Big Boss, ruining the Boss's speech about how there always needing to be one Snake, and one Boss (although the speech didn't make sense anyway as Snake wasn't his only codename). He snubs DCI John McCone on his way out, the man ultimately responsible for the death of The Boss. Snake places the Patriot on The Boss's unmarked grave in Arlington and salutes it, a manly tear rolling down his face.

After the credits, we get the customary Ocelot phone call. He assures the KGB director that Groznyj Grad and the Granin Research Bureau were destroyed, Khrushchev is finished, and the Soviet Union can use the details of the Virtuous Mission and Operation Snake Eater to blackmail America. He then calls the DCI to confirm that EVA's copy of the Philosophers' Legacy is a fake, half of the Legacy has made it to America, the Shagohod is destroyed, and that he'd acquired data on Granin's Metal Gear project that America could find useful. He also reveals that he's the real ADAM, a triple agent working for the KGB, Volgin, and the CIA, which the the DCI already knew but never bothered to mention, because keeping his identity secret was considered more important than insuring the world isn't enveloped in Nuclear War.
MGS4 pretty much confirms that all the surviving FOX unit characters from Snake Eater plus Eva and Ocelot are the founders of the Patriots, this happens off-screen of course even though none of the members are given any hint of being tech-savvy or influential enough to make (and install) world-governing AI's, since any time the series writes itself into a corner, more shit will just happen off-screen.

===Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops===
A game of questionable canon not directed or written by Hideo Kojima. The main antagonist is a bigger Villain Sue than Armstrong and Ocelot put together. Which is saying something because either would whip the floor with him. It was also a considered the worst game until recently (see Survive). Which is what you get when the primary writer is known for making shitty harem novels for morbidly obese otaku and directed by a script writer instead of a real director.

===Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots===

===Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker===
The other direct sequel to Metal Gear Solid 3 on the PSP. A much better game between the two. It should have been released on consoles instead as Big Boss can't move and be in the prone position at the same time. This is where the series starts falling apart. As the real brains behind Metal Gear. Tomokazu Fukushima, left Konami during the early development of MGS4.

===Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance===
Set four years after Guns of the Patriots, Revengeace is a completely different beast from any other Metal Gear game. First off, you play as Raiden for the entire game instead of Snake or Big Boss. Second, since this game was developed by Platinum Games instead of Konami, [[Flesh Tearers|stealth is mostly thrown out the window for glorious carnage]] (you can still try to use stealth when it's applicable to make the game easier, as enemies are vulnerable to insta-kills while you're undetected, but nothing's stopping you from just going in and murderfucking everyone.). And third, the stupid over-the-top tropes Metal Gear Solid was known for are hitched up to eleven. Seriously, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfpeFE4QhU0| look at this shit.] That's the equivalent of tossing around a [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)| Warhound Scout Titan]] like a rag doll.

Long story short, Raiden receives a far more powerful cyborg body and is sent to eliminate Desperado; an off-shoot faction of the Patriots led by U.S Senator Armstrong, known for the "Nanomachines, son" [[meme]] and the most patriotic villain ever known. Besides that the plot is pretty much nonexistent, with Raiden running around and pretty much being the living avatar of [[rip and tear|RIP N' TEAR]]. The plot though did have some really funny moments where Raiden discovered the villains plan to create an army, kidnap children from third-world countries, put their brains in jars, have them remote control robots/cyborgs, and once they were skilled enough put their brains in those bodies so that they could get killed on the battlefield, not to mention there's a part where Raiden just lets a bunch of children die because he's too busy posing to help them out. Much like most of the series, this plan is doomed to failure before it starts when you realize that there's already a far better alternative in the form of nanomachines that make you invincible, they only stop working when it's plot convenient. It also regresses Raidens' character a bit (because much like every MGS sequel, the theme of the previous games are ignored), but nobody really gave a shit about that because of all the over-the-top ninja bullshit he constantly pulls off.

===Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain===

==== Ground Zeroes ====

The story begins with Ground Zeroes, set one year after the events of Peace Walker. It turns out Paz, a close friend to Big Boss is alive, but she is being held in an American Interrogation camp on the southern tip of Cuba. Big Boss originally wanted to assassinate Paz because of her ties to the mysterious Cipher organization and suspects she might may have leaked critical information about the Militaires Sans Frontières. Miller on the other hand doesn't believe this and orders Big Boss to bring her back alive for questioning. Coincidentally, Mother Base is scheduled for a United Nations nuclear weapon inspection just as Miller doubts Paz's betrayal. After rescuing Paz and a young boy named Chico, they find out that Paz had a bomb surgically planted in her abdomen as a setup. After a very gruesome scene of surgically removing the bomb from Paz's body, Big Boss successfully disposes the bomb as Paz tries to recover. They return to Mother Base only to see that it has come under attack by Cipher's covert strike force XOF, meaning the inspection was only smokescreen for an attack. Big Boss manages to save Miller and an unnamed soldier (we find out his real alias is Mosquito, but he comes back later on). They all escape as Mother Base collapses and cue for Miller's famous meme quote "They played us like a damn fiddle!". Miller realizes Big Boss was right and demands answers from Paz. That is until Paz claims there is another bomb inside of her (heavily implied to be in her vagina, what the fuck Kojima) as she falls out of the helicopter and the second bomb inside her explodes causing the helicopter to lose control and crashes into another helicopter.

==== The Phantom Pain ====

Big Boss manages to survive the crash but falls into a coma for nine years. A pretty cool opening scene of Big Boss waking up to ''The Man Who Sold the World'' in a hospital bed in Cyprus. The doctors show Big Boss after the explosion that not only did he get shrapnel sticking out of his head and the inside of his body, but he also lost his left forearm in the process. The following night an assassin kills the doctors who took care of Big Boss and nearly kills Big Boss himself. That is until another patient stops the assassin and sets her on fire causing her to jump out the window. The patient reveals himself as 'Ishmael' and helps Big Boss escape (This isn't the only reference to the book Moby Dick, Ishmael calls Big Boss 'Ahab' while Big Boss is equipped with a hook hand prosthetic). As they both approach the elevator, they encounter a child wearing a gas mask and a straight jacket floating in the air (we know what you're thinking and yes, that is Psycho Mantis as a little kid) and a man covered in fire. Since gunfire is useless against him his only weakness is water. They both see that XOF units start killing the patients and hospital staff to ensure there are no witnesses. It becomes clear that they were sent in to eliminate Big Boss after finding out he had just woken up. After facing certain death against XOF soldiers and the Man of Fire, Big Boss and Ishmael escape the hospital using an ambulance. Unfortunately, the ambulance gets attacked by XOF forces and crashes. Big Boss survives, but Ishmael has disappeared leaving Big Boss to fend for himself. Just as an XOF helicopter is hovering over Big Boss, Psycho Mantis shows up then suddenly a giant fucking whale covered in fire swallows the helicopter and destroys it. To make things even more ridiculous, the Man of Fire shows up again riding a fucking winged unicorn made of fire. Luckily, a man riding a horse shows up to Big Boss' aid and that man is none other than Revolver Ocelot (now voiced by Troy Baker). After a chase ensues between the Man of Fire and Big Boss and Ocelot, they both manage to escape. Ocelot reminds Big Boss of what has happened before he fell into a coma and wants to help him and Miller rebuild their private army. It turns out Miller was captured by the Soviets and is being held for interrogation in Afghanistan. Big Boss joins up with Ocelot and sets out for Afghanistan.

===Metal Gear Survive===

A portal in the sky transports you to an alternate dimension after Mother Base was destroyed by XOF, where the Wolbachia parasite has mutated everyone into Romero-like [[zombie]]s. As the name implies; your objective is to survive. Its basically every indie survival horror game you see on Steam, except this comes in with a hefty pricetag of 40 USD/EUR.

From the recent trailers that came out; many people are already turned off by it, citing it as a mediocre survival horror game. As the first game ever worked on without Kojima's input, it easily be called the worst Metal Gear yet and even more inept than Kojima ever was. The story is worse than Snake's Revenge and makes Bethesda era [[Fallout]] look good with sentient nanomachines from the 22nd century via time travel as the main villain. Right out plagiarizing another video game,Gunslinger Stratos.

Proving once again that Gakuto Mikumo(who wrote the shitty story of Portable Ops) is a [[Isekai|no talent hack like most light novel writers]]. Blatantly ignoring that the real future of the Metal Gear universe is the much superior Zone of the Enders.(Sahelanthropus looks like a much less advanced Jehuty.)
Most of the game mechanics are a ripoff of Fortnite. The characters are bland and calling you every 30 seconds for who knows what. You are reminded to take food and drink often but it's very difficult to get either. The main character from the single player campaign is a [[Original_character,_do_not_steal|blatant ripoff of Chris Redfeild.]] While the player character is a mute because they couldn't afford to higher real voice actors. Most real fans would rather let the franchise die at this point and Konami just put the final nail in the coffin.

==See Also==
[[Metal Gear Vindicare]]

[[BattleTech]]

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[[Category: Video_Games]]
[[Category: Under_Development]]
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