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Ynnead

2018-01-18T08:13:56Z

2601:147:4200:6280:7D17:6F0C:CCD8:F30E: the Gav Trope article doesn't claim that and stop trying to justify your crappy fanficiton

[[File:Ynnead2.PNG|400px|thumb|right|Ynnead looking like he's about to wreck [[Slaanesh]]'s shit. Also has an uncanny resemblance to late musician David Bowie in ''Labyrinth''.]]
<div style="font-size:1.10em;font-weight:bold;font-style:italic;font-family:MS Gothic;margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em"> I am Death and Resurrection reborn anew! - Ynnead's motto in the 41st Millennium'''</div>

''“To the last, I grapple with thee; from hell's heart, I stab at thee; for hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee”.''
 — Captain Ahab, Moby-Dick

'''Ynnead''' is the [[Eldar]] <s>God of the Dead</s> <s>Voltron</s> reincarnation of David Bowie (Ha! [[Just as planned|Bet you can't unsee that now!!!!]] ([[Cegorach|Cegorach pls]])). Or at least he will be, as he is currently being created. He is in godly limbo at the moment as the Eldar try to amass enough pure souls, or at least souls that have overcome petty desires, in the various [[Craftworld]]s' [[Infinity Circuit]]s to give him enough mojo to become a proper god. Part of the problem with this is that each Craftworld's Infinity Circuit is separate from the rest, meaning the Eldar's goal has the massive flaw of not having the pieces together; this is of course easily remedied by the existence of the Eternal Matrix that links all the Infinity circuits and World Spirits together through the Webway. However considering how Slaanesh turned out from their last God creating accident does this really seem like a good idea? On the other hand, the Eldar are probably going to get what is coming to them but it might [[Not as Planned|not be quite how they had expected or hoped for.]]

This is without getting into the supreme stupidity of attempting to send essentially a giant, ultra-powerful Eldar soul against a being which is not only intrinsically tied to all Eldar souls but also considers them to be a [[/d/]]elicacy. For fuck's sake! Stupid damn space elves! You know, the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting a different result! With the release of the Gathering Storm its looking a lot less stupid seeing as Ynnead turns out to be [[Emprah|Anathema]] to the Chaos Gods and they are actually afraid of it. On the other hand Slaanesh has already been put on a bus in Age of Sigmar and Ynnead is a pretty good way to put Slaanesh on a bus in 40k too. That being said the overall position of the Chaos Gods on Ynnead is not one really of fear, with Nurgle not minding assisting in its birth, with only Slaanesh expressing any extreme trepidation over the matter (although also finding [[Ynnari]] far tastier than any other Eldar). Over all the four Chaos Gods consider the birth of Ynnead as far less important than the return of Roboute, with their servants and minions only being said to be stirred to great frenzy when Roboute's return was confirmed, and the gods themselves all competing to be the first to claim Roboute. Indeed of the servants of Slaanesh none of note have really even seemed to notice or care about the birth of a God intended to destroy the Young Prince, and Ynnead has so far demonstrated little power beyond bringing [[Rubric Marines]] back to life, with no major change in the fortunes of the Eldar at all, other than the empowering of the Imperium.

== Overview ==

The whole process of god creation is a bit of a tricky one to explain, but we'll try to keep it simple.

Basically, Ynnead is the Eldar's last hope against [[Slaanesh]]. When the bitch-goddess was born, she devoured most of the Eldar race, and their souls, and most of their gods, and basically caused a lot of things to get badly screwed up, making a terrible mess in the toilet afterwards that the Eldar where forced to mop up. The crap on the wall that won't scrub off was that the surviving Eldar found Slaanesh was constantly hungering for their souls, laying in wait for the moment when any member of their race died to completely consume them. In the past the Eldar believed that when they died, their soul would be reincarnated in the form of a [[Jokaero]]. With Slaanesh's coming though, the Eldar's ability to reincarnate disappeared.

To save themselves from this fate, the Craftworld Eldar use [[spiritstone]]s to trap their souls upon death. The spiritstone is then used to inter the soul within the infinity circuit of a craftworld, next to a carefully placed egg timer, where the soul is free to roam around and commingle with the other Eldar souls of the craftworld.

As more souls over time have been added to the infinity circuits, the Eldar [[Farseer]]s have perceived something stirring from this collection of souls; this is Ynnead, a god formed from untainted Eldar souls and the power of [[Asuryan]], the king of the Eldar gods, who passed on his power to the Farseers of the Eldar before he was devoured by Slaanesh. The Farseers believe that when the last Craftworld Eldar dies, Ynnead will be fully born and will rise up to cast down Slaanesh, destroying him/her/it forever.

It's unknown whether this is feasible or not considering Slaanesh's immense power, but Ynnead is the Eldar race's last, best hope for a better future, and so all their efforts go towards making him as strong as possible. Plus, [[Khorne]] would probably jump at the chance to finally get rid of Slaanesh and its merry band of chickenshits once and for all, consequences be damned.

All of this assumes that Ynnead would give a shit about any of this, of course. The Eldar's past track record for creating gods makes it highly dubious that this one will turn out any better, and as far as anyone knows it could just make like [[Nagash]] and try to make itself a [[Chaos Gods|Chaos God]] instead. Then again, Slaanesh was born out of unbridled hedonism, giving him/her/it/xe the theme of extreme pleasure. Ynnead is born out of the dead post-fall Eldar who are vengeful but still optimistic stuck-ups, so Ynnead would theoretically be born out of the Eldar's vengeance and hopes for a better tomorrow. Assuming it follows the same process as Slaanesh; Ynnead probably won't go rogue and will follow the main purpose of its creation. Probably. There's really not a lot of events where a god was created in a controlled environment, the last one was the C'Tan and that went horribly wrong for the Necrontyr, so Ynnead could just derp out and murder everything at one point.

[[Nurgle|There is also the problem that Ynnead is a god created out of fear and hopelessness, strengthened by death, and who seems to fixate on the number seven.]] It isn't helping that Nurgle is totally okay with Ynnead being born and [[Isha|one of the last Eldar gods]] is currently in Nurgle's possession.

==The Star Child/Ynnead Theory==
There is a theory stating that when the [[Emperor]] screwed [[Horus]]'s soul to the wall, part of the Emperor's soul was also cast into the [[Warp]]. This Emprasoul fragment is the Star Child, another god waiting to be reborn—or perhaps to be reincarnated into human flesh. If the remains of the Emperor were ever to die, the tiny spark of soul left in his body would re-united with the greater whole, and according to [[fluff|prophecy]], stalemate the four Chaos Gods while the races of the galaxy were left to battle it out in one last great Ragnarok scenario.

More recent (2006 onwards) fluff from ''[[Xenology]]'' grants some credence to this theory by suggesting an image of an "unborn child surrounded in starlight" as one of the three future survivors of the galaxy's conflicts (the others being [[Khaine]] and the [[Cegorach|Laughing God]]). While this may refer specifically to Ynnead, who is supposed to be born from the [[Webway]] when the last Eldar has died, it is now conceivable that Ynnead and the Emperor's star child are the same entity, particularly with the revelations in ''Horus Heresy'' that the Golden Throne is a (failed) doorway into the Webway itself. The newest fluff however has shown that the Gate beneath the palace was shut down and sealed off and the area within the Webway around the breach was sealed off by the Eldar to prevent the Daemons from spreading further so the Emperors spirit would not have had any way to enter upon his "death". Ynnead may indeed be the unborn child surrounded in starlight, but with the most recent events its very likely that that possible future has been altered; but then again with the way its shaping up if Ynnead does survive and continues to exist past the Rhana Dandra then the chance of an Eldar resurrection is still on the table even if they all die in the conflict.

This is made more relevant when you consider the fact that the Eldar Gods (possibly the [[Old Ones]]) do not belong exclusively to the Eldar alone, and were active amongst several races all at the same time. However there is historical examples of this happening in our own history, like how other cultures adopted the roman Pantheon when the Roman Empire existed; the Eldar Gods are still the Eldar Gods but seeing as they ruled the Galaxy for such a long time it is not surprising that other races started to worship them as well. So Ynnead does not have to be an "Eldar" god, just a powerful enough being to actually count as a god. The Emperor ticks that box, finally unifying the two species in the galaxy with the most in common, and, truth be told, the least reason to fight (except for the [[Dark Eldar]]).

On the other hand, the star child theory's biggest proponents proved to be cultists of [[Tzeentch]], which makes it very likely that all of the above is completely untrue. So believe what you will, and always act on the assumption that most of it is wrong somehow. Of course, considering Chaos and Tzeentch, he might really be plotting to end everything simply for the sake of plotting. It would make sense that he, by nature, must plot to do anything and everything. Literally. Even his own demise.

Although a good theory the release of the Gathering Storm books and the release of the first book set in the 8th edition timeline (Dark Imperium) pretty much proves this one false. Ynnead is already partially awake and already has an avatar running around and the Emperor is still alive and has already had a conversation with [[Roboute Guilliman]] (although Guilliman certainly did not like the experience; poor boy).

==The Gathering Storm==
Ynnead is prematurely "born" during the 13th Black Crusade following the fall of [[Cadia]]. [[Eldrad|Eldrad Ulthran]] attempts to summon him early by stealing the fossilized bodies of all the dead Farseers of all the craftworlds and conducting an elaborate ritual on a crystal moon. It gets fucked up by the [[Deathwatch]] and only a tiny fraction of Ynnead enters the Materium.

After searching through space, this fragment discovers [[Yvraine]]. Due to her history she was considered the ultimate expression of being Eldar because apparently the true Eldar are supposed to travel all the paths of life, even the dark ones. With her is the [[Visarch]], a former [[Exarch]] of the Dire Avengers who trained Yvraine and had his heart broken when she chose to leave rather than succeed him. He ended up sneaking into Comorragh, pretended to be an [[Incubi|Incubus]], and fought his way to Yvraine after she unlocked the power of '''The Sword of Sorrows''' actually had one of the severed fingers of [[Morai-Heg]] forged into a sword by [[Vaul]]. The Visarch would later get his own sweet croneblade '''The Sword of Silence''' when it was pulled from the heart of Craftworld Biel-Tan.

Together, Yvraine and the Visarch become the prophets of Ynnead, preaching that not ALL the Eldar have to die for Ynnead to be born. This ends up fracturing Eldar society at all levels, and Biel-Tan ends up tearing itself apart over whether or not this is actually Eldar [[heresy]]. The destruction of Biel-Tan causes all kinds of Warp holes to tear themselves into existence around the ruins, and Ynnead births an Avatar through them known as the Yncarne (get the pun?), the one-horned ghost-fire model that's been making the rounds in photos of the latest White Dwarf.

Yvraine, Visarch, and Yncarne are now gathering an army of all the branches of the Eldar race who believe they can fight Chaos without all having to hara-kiri, while those who don't believe in Ynnead are preparing to kill all the heretics for daring to alter the fate of the Eldar. Eldrad is himself imprisoned and placed on trial by the Eldar Inquisition, because he's not Eldar enough, and proposed, after his failure to birth Ynnead, allying with the [[Imperium of Man]] to defeat Chaos once and for all. Even if the other Eldar don't like the idea of becoming best buddies with the Imperium they still reluctantly agreed that they are still the best of a bad bunch, what with the other options being either the [[Orks]] or [[Tau]] both of who are either too "young" (translated as to naïve and inexperienced to face the forces of Chaos) or simply too uncooperative and uncouth to be allied with (better use of time manipulating them from the shadows rather then try and negotiate with them), that didn't stop Yvraine from helping to resurrect [[Roboute Guilliman]], so perhaps an actual alliance may be possible.

It may also be that Ynnead simply disagrees with the stupidity of not allying with the only faction both willing and able and actively doing something against chaos. It could also be possible that once Rowboat Girlyman gets in charge the Imperium will stop killing everything that isn't human and start killing everything that is a demon with them. But 40k isn't Star Trek. Its Army of Darkness meets Aliens, and also possibly Hellraiser. If you think this has a happy ending you haven't been paying attention. At best each side will keep the other at an arm's length and keep fighting the endless Tyranids, and only marginally ignore the other, particularly when they have a horrific past of dickery, slavery, and genocide at both sides.

==The Croneswords==
The five <s>[[Original character, do not steal|True Muramasas]]</s> Croneswords are legendary shapeshifting blades said to have been formed from the five broken fingers of the severed hand of [[Morai-Heg]]. According to legend, the five blades are imbued with a connection to Ynnead, and will reveal themselves when the unborn god begins to stir, where the blades will find their way into the right hands and lead to the eventual salvation of the Eldar race.

The blades are as follows:
*'''Kha-vir, the Sword of Sorrows''' - The first awakened blade, appeared to [[Yvraine]] while in the fighting pits of Commoragh
*'''Asu-var, the Sword of Silent Screams''' - Was pulled out of the Biel-Tan Infinity Circuit before the craftworld broke apart, is now held by the [[Visarch]]
*'''Vilith-zhar, the Sword of Souls''' - Currently wielded by the [[Yncarne]], was recovered from Belial IV.
*'''<s>[[Original character, do not steal|Hokuraku-Shimon]]</s>, The Spear of Twilight''' - Relic weapon of the [[Iyanden]] [[Craftworld]], said to drain the life of its wielder. Had been wielded by Prince [[Yriel]] since the invasion of [[Hive Fleet Kraken]], it's power awakened after Yriel fell to [[Nurgle]] daemons and resurrected him.
*The fifth blade has not been found, but is currently being sought on the [[Necron]] infested [[Exodite World]] of Agarimethea by '''Nuadhu Fireheart''' of Craftworld [[Saim-Hann]]. ''(potentially a returned special character for the next codex?)''

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Ynnead-rebirth.PNG|
File:Harlequins-ynnead.jpeg|
File:Craftworlders-ynnead.jpeg|
File:Dark eldar-ynnead.jpeg|
File:Warhammer-Ynnead-what we know.jpeg|
File:Prophecy of the hidden path.jpg|

</gallery>

{{Template:Eldar-Gods}}

Slaanesh

2018-01-18T07:56:13Z

2601:147:4200:6280:7D17:6F0C:CCD8:F30E: fanfic bullshit

[[File:Slaanesh_mark.png|center]]
[[Image:Slaanesh_by_baklaher-d7dvohn.jpg|thumb|500px|right|Slaanesh... tempting you to join a [[rape|party in which you will never forget...]] [[Rule 34|also now in even more NSFW!]]]]

'''''DRUGS FOR THE DRUG GOD! RAPE FOR THE RAPE TRAIN! SMUT FOR THE SMUT THRONE! — The Motto that Slaanesh wants YOU to believe in'''''

''“To be loved, feelings must be rationed. To love, the doors of hysteria, fantasy, and madness may be flung open.”''
 -Anton LaVey

''"Tears gratify a savage nature, they do not melt it."'' 
-Publilius Syrus

''“God doesn't love you. Not like I do.”''
 -Val

''"An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom." 
-Charles Baudelaire

''"Everything is good when it is excessive."'' 
-Donatien-Alphonse-François, Marquis de Sade

''"There is more pleasure in loving than in being beloved"'' 
-Thomas Fuller
{{Promotions}}
{{heresy}}

==Introduction: The Slaanesh Inquisition==
[[Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|thumb|500px|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated.] Wait, one whip is held in the hand and the other is held in the...]]
Behold '''Slaanesh''', Chaos God of [[/d/|perversion]], [[Extra Heresy|shamelessness]], [[Furry|excess]], [[Rebecca Black|the most disgusting Pop Music in the history of ever]] and traps. Heretical Fa/tg/uys cannot resist the most disgusting [[heresy]] of masturbating furiously to Slaanesh and his/her [[daemonette]]s.

Slaanesh was born <s>in the 1800s, when [[Tzeentch]] tricked major film producers to establish a colony in the anarchistic frontiers of California where they could practice their most lecherous vices</s> at the fall of the [[Eldar]], when all their torture, [[rape]], S&M, bondage, decadence, eventually tore the fabric of reality a new one and gave birth to Slaanesh along with the [[Eye of Terror]], killing the majority of their race. Thus, the final chaos god is known as the one that was literally muderfucked into existence. As a result, Slaanesh owns almost every last Eldar soul in the entire galaxy. In the event of an Eldar dying without a spirit stone, she becomes Slaanesh's sex toy for all of eternity day and night forever and ever (excluding exodites, who's soul will automatically go to their planet's world spirit and Harlequins, who are scooped up by the great clown himself). That is why Eldar are willing to manipulate entire worlds into [[Exterminatus|exterminating]] each other just to save one of their own. The [[Dark Eldar]] takes this up to eleven by sacrificing other souls to Slaanesh so that they don't get eaten. [[Khorne]] hates Slaanesh because s/he's a prissy faggot, but Slaanesh doesn't care about Khorne, or any of the other Chaos Gods, until s/he's done playing with his/her/them/it(lets go with it)self, which is about 1 nanosecond every millennium, so about 13 nanoseconds total so far. Rumors that their relationship is beyond hate and occasional angry sex are just that; Khorne is not telling ( though Mork and Gork are alluding to some exceedingly voracious tales )

Of course, that paragraph is Slaanesh's WH40K history. In WHFB, Slaanesh has no real backstory and sort of just came out of nowhere like the other Chaos gods.

Among other things, Slaanesh is the god of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. He/she/it is fueled by excess and pleasure, which means gratuitous amounts of anything generally fall under its influence. This actually becomes a big problem for Khorne, the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]] and the other Chaos Gods, whose worshipers have to constantly try not to enjoy themselves too much lest they end up feeding the Warp's whipping bitch. Especially when the Inquisition is all too enthusiastic about whipping heretics.

Many horny juveniles who have just found Warhammer seem to be obsessed with Slaanesh being a God(ess) of sexual pleasure. While [[fluff]] claims this is not true, in practical terms Slaanesh is the deity of pleasure, which can be broad. Pleasure can be derived from various sources, as such this can be anything from sex, eating, companionship, and so on and so forth. However, because Chaos is Chaos, Slaanesh is mostly associated with the extremes of pleasure. Lechery, gluttony, extreme masochism, and the likes, are the pleasures his/her/its followers partake in because Slaanesh's credo is to experience everything to the fullest. This basically means: why settle for one loving wife to have sex with you when you can have a hive world of loving concubines to satiate your desires? Or why eat one disgustingly expensive luxury meal when you could eat a Paradise world's supply of the stuff? Why just resort to cutting yourself to feel the pleasure of pain when you could be chopping off lumps of your flesh to heighten the sensation of pain?

One would think that if, as claimed, Slaanesh was the lord of all ''pleasure'' then Slaanesh would be omnipotent because, in the end, biological and psychological fact tells us that every living thing with a fucking Neuron does anything simply because to feel pleasure and escape pain (the "pleasure principle").

Even [[Khorne]], her/his/its opposite, feels pleasure in killing, and Tzeentch feels pleasure in [[Just as Planned]]. That is why 40k lore tends to focus on Slannesh as a God of the most disgusting pleasures ever, not as a God of all pleasure. Additionally, in the [[fluff]], it does state that most pleasures (like regular love or the desire to eat) that might be covered under the "pleasure principle" are too "weak" to sustain Slaanesh. Slaanesh being usually named the "God of Excess" it's more that he/she gains power from OVER-indulging in the small things like sex and eating, which in 40k is actually more rare than people would think. Considering that it's damn hard for anyone to get more than a piece of stale toast and a dry handjob before a grueling 48 hours of avoiding death in the name of the Emprah in the far corner of some forgotten forge-world, the only way to get enough sex, drugs, and partying in to impress Slaanesh on your average imperial world, is to be a ruthless, controlling, evil, bastard.

<s>{{BLAM|'''SLAANESH AND HIS/HER/ITS WORSHIPERS WILL BE YIFFED IN HELL!!!!'''}}</s> ''Awright, which one of you guys let the [[Commissar]] in here?'' '''My bad.''' <s>'''Yiffed in hell, you say? Oh, it sounds so... exciting. Sign me in!'''</s>{{BLAM|''' *BLAM*'''}} That grammar alone was heretical.

Slaanesh is also associated with the arts and creativity, as creativity means pursuing one's own personal desires. Self-indulgence and personal expression are the bedrock of the arts, after all. Those attracted to Slaanesh could theoretically be more than just aristocratic ravers, but also particularly eccentric artists, writers, etc. Slaanesh is Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll in the purest sense of the word; not just the orgy after the concert, but the brilliant concert that caused the orgy to begin with. One could assume that, in order to prevent Slaanesh's influence from spreading, the Imperium of Man would censor not just content but style. A radically structured poem, a painting with hints of sexual content, even a deviation from traditional chord structures would presumably bring the Inquisition to your doorstep.

If Slaanesh had a voice actor it would be... who are we kidding we KNOW he/she would be voiced by Tim Curry!

==What? Warhammer?==
In the new [[Age of Sigmar]] setting, Slaanesh has gone missing. Tyrion and Malerion worked together to capture Slaanesh, unknowningly helped along by the machinations of Tzeentch. Thus Slaanesh has been removed from the Pantheon of Chaos and replaced by the [[Horned Rat]]. Derp.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIMg2Xw4_8s Most likely Slaanesh is being kept in a hidden warehouse while Tyrion works him/her over to make Slaanesh give back Aliathra's soul.]
[[File:Slaanesh Old.jpg|thumb|right|400px|The first depiction of Slaanesh in Warhammer art.]]
There is speculation that Slaanesh has been removed as an active part of Age of Sigmar in some attempt by [[Games Workshop]] to make the game more accessible to children. [[Derp|Somehow, they failed to take into account that no game with such a high price of entry is going to be popular among kiddies anyways]]. They may be doing this so parents won't be put off by the game and be willing to buy it for their children and to get past the media watchdogs to make the game more mainstream; but that most likely won't work [[Games Workshop|due to reasons discussed on GW's page here]].

Yet hope for Slaanesh faction lovers still remains. According to the fluff available with Slaanesh missing his forces have split between those trying to find and free Slaanesh, those who are trying to claim their former master's position (currently this faction is being led by a Keeper of Secrets named Luxcious that wants to become the new god of depravity) and those who have begun worshiping Archaon as the new Slaanesh. This last faction is currently the biggest and is the main Slaanesh force fighting Order, though Archaon is not liking that there are Slaanesh wannabes trying to take his new position. From this development, in addition to Khorne's betrayal during the war with Order and the inclusion of back-stabbing Skaven into the Chaos faction seems to imply that Chaos civil wars are on the horizon and Chaos will not be the united front that Order experienced during the end times this time around.

== Followers ==
[[File:Slaanesh Banners.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Slaaneshi banners.]]
Slaanesh attracts mortal followers from those seeking to become charismatic and popular, but instead corrupts them to become [[Chris-Chan|colossal perverts]]; alternatively, she may attract followers from those who are already [[Ultramarines|colossal perverts]], and corrupt them to become more charismatic and popular. [[Just as planned]].

Alternatively, Slaanesh sometimes finds those in the mortal realm with far more looks than brains to approach and give them everything they could ever want because she tells them that they simply deserve it, with nothing expected in return...other than them turning into a collossal egotistical hedonist with no sense of responsibility, right and wrong, or empathy as they fuck over creation on whim or for the lulz due to the ultimate entitlement complex possible.

Slaanesh and Khorne actually compete for the same pool of followers more often than you'd think, which is part of their bitter rivalry. A good rule of thumb is this: if a warrior wants to be the ''best'', gets his thrills from making that perfect shot, that perfect move, [[/v/|that perfect 360 noscope,]] to [[powergamer|hone his or her skills the sharpest they can ever be]], or debasing their foes, they're Slaaneshi. If the thrill lies in just killing people, the pure joy of murder with the skill just a way of facilitating that, they're Khornate. Slaaneshi types also get off on the sensory overload rather than actual killing, even pain. See the Emperor's Children who get carved up by Raven Guard and won't fight back because the feeling of lightning claws dicing them up is too damn blissful. [[Troll|They also get off on the reactions they get from others]]- for example, the loyalist who Lucius tricks into slaughtering his own men.

When things come to more "social" followers, Slaanesh competes with Tzeentch, as followers of both are known for being a silver-tongued manipulative dicks with a huge hard-on for power. Here the difference lies in that Slaaneshi followers seek power for their own gain, usually through charismatic speeches and the like, while Tzeenchians often have more altruistic goals or are more interested in a process of gaining power than actually getting it, intentionally raising the challenge to impossible level just to feed their ambitions, for which they'd use the exchange of favors, blackmail, and other such forms of social politicking. The 'huge hard-on' part is also much more [[Heresy|literal]] in Slaanesh's case.

Slaanesh and Nurgle rarely have any interaction, because their domains are too different. Those who are ambitious and feel they deserve better choose Slaanesh, while those who give up or accept their lot fall into Nurgle's open, sweaty arms. Conflict occurs, but love of the self and love of others aren't as mutually exclusive as the desire to destroy and the desire to create, or a demand for the spotlight against careful orchestration.

[[File:Slaaneshi Forces.JPG|thumb|right|500px|Slaaneshi forces in her realm.]]
Slaanesh units are:
* '''[[Daemonettes]]''', hideous crab-clawed hermaphrodites or seductive scythe-clawed elf-girls depending on which fluff you choose to believe, fa/tg/uys love Daemonettes and spend much time eagerly awaiting the drawfags to provide them with moar heresy. Some fluff seems to suggest that they're hot elf girls until they decide it's time to rip your face off, at which point they become something more akin to the BDSM glam-rock black-eyed lobster women seen in the current models. Moreover, they're supposedly attractive to the beholder (though these are often xenophobic assholes and thus only consider themselves beautiful) - this means that it is very likely that their appearance is entirely subject to the individual desires of whomever is perceiving them. This is represented by their hermaphroditic/androgynous appearance, supposedly rendering them attractive regardless of preference or sexuality. Their monstrous nature is a juxtaposition of slender sensuality and horrible, flesh-tearing daemonic claws. Like many Daemons, their appearance is supposed to be highly varied, which is never represented in the models unless you combine all the old and new, modify heavily, and use [[Raging Heroes|proxies]] randomly. Daemonettes are created by Slaanesh's waking thoughts, popping into existence as she contemplates trolling Khorne, destroying a civilization from within, or getting off.
* '''[[Seekers of Slaanesh]]''', Daemonettes mounted upon [[Steeds of Slaanesh]] which are the mix of an aardvark and a raptor [[dinosaur]]; fast and lots of attacks for not much points, prone to dying in a hail of arrow/bolter fire.
* '''[[Fiends of Slaanesh]]''', large creatures that look like a bizarre cross between an aardvark and a scorpion with rows of breasts, these are created when Slaanesh dreams (because apparently Chaos Gods sleep). They're basically if a Daemonette and a Seeker had a child.
* '''[[Seeker Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', hard hitting unit/squad-wipe models, this is whom you call for when you need that pesky [[tarpit]] removed. Right now. From other end of the board. Be cautious though, these things need protection like grimoire and preferrably invisibility,or at least [[Distraction Carnifex|target mitigation]] to live long enough to do their job since they are big targets with juicy 10 armor all round. Also never ever position yourself so that the enemy could have even remote chance of charging these things: even squad of retarded [[Tau|fire warriors]] or some [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Spearmen]] can take these chariots down in melee if they get the charge. These things live and die by the hammer of wrath attacks, use them accordingly. Also comes in the "Exalted Seeker Chariot" variant, which is literally just a larger Seeker Chariot crewed by higher ranked Daemonettes.
* '''[[Hellflayer Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', what happens when you combine enough Chariots to make Daemonettes literally [[/d/|dripping]] with excitement at being in battle.
* '''[[Warriors of Chaos]]''', not-Vikings/Mongols who live in the desolate north of Warhammer Fantasy and fight against each other when not raiding the rest of the world. The closer to the [[Warp Gates]] they are, the more like living Daemons while the furthest south are generally only concerned with survival and not offending gods.
* '''[[Beastmen]]''', the rapist omnivorous (in every sense of the word) animal-mutants that infest the world. Beastmen serve all of Chaos, some serve specific gods more than others but few serve one entirely. Live to literally and canonically shit on civilization and order. Ironically treated like shit by all of the rest of Chaos. Slaanesh, in keeping with the trend, allows his followers to fuck their women and drink their wine.
* '''[[Keepers Of Secrets]]''', Slaanesh's Greater Daemons, like a Daemonette on steroids, ecstasy and Viagra. Created intentionally from Slaanesh's own darkest thoughts and desires, rather than the Daemonettes/Seekers/Fiends which are created passively, each is radically different (even though there's only been three different models, one of which is long out of production). Geniuses capable of turning entire armies to their side, or destroying civilizations. The default leaders of almost any Slaaneshi army, unless lead by a...
* '''[[Daemon Prince]]''', a human (with [[Dechala|one Elf]] as the exception) so devout to Slaanesh that they managed to become a Daemon. In Fantasy this is usually, but not always, a Warriors of Chaos Champion who made the perilous journey of getting not to little or too much attention while in her service. In 40k, these are always...
* '''[[Chaos Space Marines]]''', the traitor marines of the [[Emperor's Children|third legion]] worship Slaanesh exclusively, as do warbands such as the Angels of Ecstasy and the Flawless Host. They also make up a large chunk of the Black Legion, as the Children of Torment.
** '''[[Noise Marines]]''', the specialist traitors dedicated to Slaanesh, akin to Khorne's [[Berserkers]], Nurgle's [[Plague Marines]] or Tzeentch's [[Thousand Sons]]. Aural-focused traitors who specialise in using [[Sonic Weaponry]] because the cacophony is the only thing that can register on their jaded senses anymore.
* '''[[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Druchii]]''', the Warhamer Fantasy evil Elves who are the highest ranking worshipers of Slaanesh, who they call Shornaal, in the [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Cult Of Pleasure]]. In most of the games history (4 editions out of 8 total, the first two having virtually no story whatsoever), Dark Elves had their origin in their Queen [[Morathi]] being the high priestess of Slaanesh, who corrupted her [[Malekith|son]] and about half the Elf race. While most Dark Elves torture and kill in the name of [[Khaine]], Morathi lead a cult of Chaos Elves and regularly allied with other Slaaneshi factions (other than Beastmen, because Morathi kept [[Harpies|her own]] as pets and shits on all others like a good Chaos character should). In later editions, Chaos Elves were retconned away into worshipers of [[Atharti]], [[Hekarti]], and [[Ereth Khial]], three Elven Slaanesh-expy gods, in order to redo the Dark Elf faction as evil Elves who ally with other Elves in the interest of mutual survival instead of evil Elves who just want to watch the world burn while a slave who's skin has been torn off gives them oral. This choice split many fans, some asking why Elves should worship Slaanesh when they have Khaine instead of Khorne, others asking why they worship Khaine when Khorne is better.

== Facts ==
[[File:Nope.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Alright, who's next for "Purifying"?]]
* [[Ynnead]] is secretly Slaanesh
*[[Sanguinius]] is jealous of Slaanesh because him/her/it is the only one more fabulous than he
* Slaanesh wants to fuck the Emperor, but every time he/she/it tries, the Big E psychically bitch-slaps him/her/it, destroys all his/her/its sex toys and sex slaves and breaks his/her/it's hands so he/she/it can't fap for a while.
**The Emperor bitch-slaps Slaanesh so hard he/she/it can't do anything sexual for a while. This makes Slaanesh sad. And horny.
* Slaanesh knows that you can't spell happiness without penis.
** Slaanesh is dyslexic.
***Slaanesh also knows that you can't spell dyslexic without sex
* The title of Slaanesh's greatest mortal champion is owned by Shädman
* Slaanesh turns all his/her followers into the opposite sex.
* Slaanesh's daemonettes possess men and then jack off.
* Slaanesh is bitching over the fact how his/her/its only representation in the DoW series was the [[Emperor's Children]] paint scheme. And they aren't even Slaaneshi like, they're just a generic chaos army. Although, he did grant favor to Eliphas for smashing a ton of soulstones. (And their colours aren't even correct.)
**However, concerning stated above, the developers have added noise marines for Dawn of war 2: Retribution. This has made Slaanesh quite happy. However, he/she/it is still <s>pissed off of not getting enough representation</s> OFFENDED BY THIS SILENCE, considering Nurgle gets Plague Champion hero, the Plague Marine Tier 2 unit, and the Epic Great Unclean One daemon, Khorne then gets the Khornate Chaos Lord, Bloodletters and Bloodcrushers, while Tzeentch gets the Sorcerer hero, has the most effective upgrade for the basic CSM squad (Warpfire bolts make everything in front of them shit brix and was flat out broken in earlier versions of its introduction), and all of the Anti-armor upgrades, while he/she/it only gets a single unit that frankly eclipsed by either Plague Marines or generic Havocs with an autocannon.
* Charlie Sheen is his/her/its first true Daemon Prince (though he was recently diagnosed with HIV which resulted from his sexcapades. But just like [[Fulgrim]] his body probably needs to be destroyed first before he can ascend).
* Slaanesh gets beaten up/off by all of the other Chaos Gods on a fairly regular basis, and gets off on it.
* If it exists, [[PROMOTIONS|Slaanesh faps/shlicks/shlaps to it]].
* Tzeentch likes to trick Slaanesh into fighting Khorne to get his daily dose of lulz. Slaanesh always loses these fights pretty badly; and each time, Slaanesh takes it pretty hard. [[C.S.Goto|And this pleases him/her/it.]]
* Slaanesh is secretly depressed that he/she/it has no friends. Khorne is a dick, and Tzeentch is the biggest dick there is. Nurgle is nice, but Slaanesh can't get over the fact that he cucked him/her/it. ("Can't get over it" in both a [[PROMOTIONS|positive]] and [[RAGE|negative]] sense.)
** Also, Nurgle has ''all'' the STDs, which would make him Slaanesh's natural enemy out in the wild. Isha's immunity to all diseases is better than any protection, which is a pretty substantial reason why Slaanesh liked her.
* Slaanesh gets bullied by all the other Chaos Gods constantly because none of them like him/her/it. This does not upset the balance, though, because Slaanesh likes BDSM where s/he was being bullied and tortured by the other Chaos Gods.
* Slaanesh is Tzeentch's second favorite victim for his hijinks, because it's oh so easy to string him along with offers of porn, whores, BDSM and/or drugs.
* Khorne [[Rip and Tear|regularly tears off Slaanesh's arms]] and beats him/her/it over the head with them (Again, this inadvertently makes Slaanesh orgasm).
* Slaanesh was using steroids when he/she/it killed the Eldar Gods, he/she/it couldn't really beat them all without using performance enhancing drugs.
** Slaanesh is always on drugs (Except psychiatric medication, they kill sex drive down to the very biology)
* Slaanesh attempted to fight the Nightbringer in a desperate attempt to win back some street cred, he/she/it got his/her/its left boob cut off for his/her/its trouble. It hurt so bad/good that it retroactively cut off the left boobs of all of Slaanesh's greater daemons and that's why they all only have one boob (or six). Given the new backstory and his/her/its time of birth, this means that Slaanesh lost against a Necron Pokémon.
* Slaanesh is a great patron of the arts. His/her/its favourite films include:
** Hellraiser: Slaanesh's number one film. In fact, He/she/it took a lot of inspiration on many of the movie's aspects... <strike>That is, of course, a lie. He actually ripped off Hellraiser.</strike> Hellraiser ripped him/her/it off. There are rumors that Slaanesh had a cameo appearance in the sequel dressed as a lozenge.
** A Serbian Film: Slaanesh's second favorite movie. S/he's already started putting NEWBORN PORN into her/his daily schedule.
** Pink Flamingos: Slaanesh's third favourite movie, which is actually a film adaptation of Slaanesh's daily journal. It shows parts of Slaanesh's daily life such as bestiality, scat fetishes and vore ([[FATAL|the actors in that scene had sex with each other while crushing a real-life chicken to death between them]]. Fortunately the cannibalism was fake). Slaanesh especially enjoyed that the movie quotes him/her directly: ''"Blood does more than turn me on, it makes me cum. And more than the sight of it, I love the taste of it. The taste of hot, freshly killed blood... Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth are my politics! Filth is my life! Take whatever you like."'' ([[FATAL|This was an actual line from the movie, the things I do for you people...]]), and that a (now-deceased) drag queen played the main character.
** A Clockwork Orange: One of Slaanesh's favorite movies; not so much the book it was adapted from as it was less about sex and more a commentary on the nature of morality. (Although Slaanesh faps/shlicks to commentaries on morality too.) He/she/it likes to jerk-off at many of the movie's aspects, but more notably Malcolm Mcdowell's sexy face. He/she/it also finds the death of one of the characters totally hilarious, due to the fact that said character was killed by a giant rocking ceramic phallus straight to the face. '''BLOWJOB OF DEATH !!! LULZ !!!''' Unbelievable and improbable? Well here's evidence to prove it: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbRSag-L-GQ Giant rocking ceramic phallus attack !!!].
** The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Mostly because of Tim Curry (who is actually Slaanesh).
*** On that note, he appeared as something closer to his true form in the 1985 movie Legend [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbknz3pcfPQ as a unicorn-killing big red devil who gets the hots for a princess].
** Caligula: The movie written by Gore Vidal for copious amounts of sex, incest and Malcolm Mcdowell; who Slaanesh is scouting out as a future Chaos champion.
** Eyes Wide Shut. Slaanesh has heard the film described as "Just Artsy Porn", but doesn't get the criticism. It's Art and it's Porn. What's not to love?
** Event Horizon: A documentary of how he/she/it is directly responsible for fucking up humanities first venture into the Warp.
* Slaanesh enjoys the Song of Ice and Fire books due to the copious amounts of incest and midget sex and the TV adaption Game of Thrones because they added sex scenes and casting several porn stars on top of this.
* Slaanesh gets ALL the pussy, though arguably just as much (if not more) cock.
* Slaanesh tried to seduce all of the remaining C'tan at once. Slaanesh ended up getting the pleasure sensors in its brain lobotomized. S/he got off on this.
* Slaanesh found Captain Flashheart so magnificent in Blackadder that he/she/it created a daemon prince in his image.
* Despite psychic powers supposedly being Tzeentch's specialty, Slaanesh's tend to be the really [[cheese|cheesy]] ones. 3rd edition had a minor power called Siren, which forbids the caster from being shot at in the opponent's shooting phase (it's just as broken as it sounds). 4th edition has Lash of Submission, which the Chaos Marine tactics cover the usage of (in a nutshell, GW admitted they didn't realize how good it turned out to be and it was the most used on daemon princes even though the +1I from the required MoS wasn't very useful). And what about 6th edition? While Tzeentchian sorcerers focus on pwning the shit our of enemy with (mediocre) mind bullets and warp-beams, Slaaneshi ones pack a whole lot of cheesy buffs and debuffs, which makes them so much better. Similar deal in Fantasy, where Slaanesh, some of the time, offers a better selection of magic than Tzeentch.
*Slaanesh is the only entity in existence who listens to the My Dad Wrote A Porno podcast purely for erotic purposes. He/she/it cannot understand for the life of him/her/it why no one else finds cervix-grabbing sexy.
** Still, he/she/it faps/shlicks/???-PROFIT at this.
* Considering that Slaanesh is about excess, there might be several other types of Marines besides Noise Marines we don't know about:
** Smell Marines, who use gasses to do whatever they wish through peoples noses, whether it be death, insanity, paralysis, suggestibility, 'seeing colors', and so on, always permanent brain damage. This is a way to get Nurgle followers to convert.
**Sight Marines, whose weapons create wondrously intricate bloom and color effects of equally detailed and aesthetically (only to a branch of masochists masochists can't stand) pleasing. This is a way to get Khorne followers to convert.
** Touch Marines, who know the nervous system better than a Bene Gesserit, able to bring the mightiest warriors down with the right jab in the right spot, consumed with uncontrollable orgasms.
**Taste Marines, think about the spiciest thing you've ever eaten, now imagine that a million times stronger, we are talking Exterminatus level of scovilles here, literally melt your god damn tongue off heat. It's like that only worse. They would use super pepper spray that can literally eat through armor.
*Also, a former Tzeentch follower gone Slaaneshi would be incredibly dangerous: Tzeentch followers understand indeterminism (from a very distorted, cynical perspective) and also see knowledge as power per circumstance to win where force, charisma and economics cannot. A devout Slaaneshi seeks to experience everything. Thus a former Tzeentchian, already well read on enough to convince themselves they experienced it, or well read enough to steal peoples experiences, who became a hedonist addict as well would be left with one desire: to be omnipotent and thus be able to go beyond the limits of mortal imaginings in pursuit of understanding and experience for the sake of understanding and experience.
*Slaanesh tried to get in Khorne's head by seeking to understand the appeal of skulls. Instead Slaanesh got bored and invented the idea of skullfucking. '''{{Blam|DAMN IT SLAANESH WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SKULL THRONE THIS IS DISGUSTING!! IT'S EVERYWHERE!! IT'S OOZING OUT OF EVERY EYE SOCKET!!! I'M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE SIT ON THAT AGAIN AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!}}'''
**Khorne secretly loves it when Slaanesh does this, because now he has even more of an excuse to go out and collect enough skulls to replace it.
*[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Slaanesh Patrols will skull fuck your family.]]
* Slaanesh secretly wants Khorne. S/he's upset that the 'Special K' hates her/him/it.
* Slaanesh is the only possible trap that is not gay.
* Slaanesh is the only thing at which the rule 63 doesn't apply.
**However, if Slaanesh ever did create a copy of him/her/their/itself, then the two would immediately try to murderfuck each other, in a kinky simulacrum of Highlander. This would apply to all of the main ruinous powers, apart from Nurgle, who would simply hug his female double and then get to work with said double on a particularly virulent strain of super aids/crotch rot.

== Gallery ==
{{heresy}}
{{promotions}}
<gallery>
Image:Slaaneshi.JPG|Slaanesh followers DO COCAINE!!!!!!!!
Image:Daemonette commisssar.JPG|That's a real [[commissar]], just look at the [[hat]].
Image:Daemonette02.JPG|DDaemonette
Image:Daemonette01.JPG|It's not furry, you can totally fap to it.

Image:Daemonette.JPG
Image:Slaaneshi2.JPG|Why it's good to be Slaanesh follower.
Image:Daemonxmas copy.jpg|Slaanesh can be festive as well.
Image:Lurvemudkipz.JPG|Evidence that it is possible that some [[pokémon]] are susceptible to Chaotic influence.

Image:Slaaneshi mudkips.JPG|Oh god. ;_;
Image:Slaanesh trainer.jpg|There is no excuse or explanation for this.
Image:Slaaneshijack copy.jpg|This image can be used to improve a bad thread.
Image:Irresistible.jpg|Simply Irresistible

Image:Dranon5.jpg|Mr Culexus' interpretation of Slaanesh. Notice the massive bulge in the crotch that's bigger than it's boobs.
Image:Not_too_abysmal_by_Mr_Culexus.jpg|Love can bloom in the galaxy of Transylvania
Image:1271157389405.jpg|What a Slaaneshi raptor would look like by non-GW canon.
Image:daemonette_minerva.png|Who else did you think furries worshiped?

Image:Slaanesh_LAWL.jpg|LAWL
Image:Trapmarine.jpg|Slaanesh Chaos Marines come with a little "extra"...
Image:Trapmarine_BW.jpg|... which may not be so "little".
Image:Daemonette_with_seeker_mount.jpg|She "rides" it... if you know what I mean... no seriously, zoom in if you don't believe me. Although for your sake you realy should take my word for it.

Image:643214 - Daemonette Eldar Warhammer 40k howling banshee warhammer yuliapw.jpg|The more common and usual fate of female Eldar.
Image:Slaanesh cosplay 1 by zk87-d2zo47q.jpg|Now 262.71% more real!
Image:Slaanesh Time.jpg|You might be mixing up love and lust.
Image:Slaanesh_miniature_closeup.jpg|Gimme some sugar

Image:Slaanesh+hr giger.jpg|H. R. Geiger is pleased
Image:Slaanesh by zk87-d2z4bpv.jpg|Lashes of Torment!
Image:Slaanesh-153102-SweetAngel.jpg|She Who Thirsts indeed
Image:Khorne-and-Slaanesh.jpg|Khorne is sooo tsundere...
Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated]

Image:Dark_Prince_of_Pleasure_Slaanesh_wfrp.jpg|From the old [[WFRP]] days
Image:MoeSlaanesh.png|How can anyone not want to serve something so utterly <s>adorable</s> heretical?
Image:Anons_fall_to_Chaos.png|Anon heralds the Age of Strife.
Image:Champion of Slaanesh RL.png| We have the makings of a daemon prince here!
Image:HereticalUseOfChainswords.gif| When you say "Go Fuck Yourself with a Chainsword," Slaanesh will take it literally.
Image:Cultist-chan24.jpg|slaanesh has improved cultist chan
</gallery>

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever
Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho!
Don't dream it, be it...
Don't dream it, be it...

==See Also==
*[[Dechala]] - The oldest existing Chaos Champion special character of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[Azazel]] - The oldest existing [[Daemon Prince]] of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[The Masque]] - Slaanesh's former fav fab Daemonette stripper, and current PR rep.
*[[Sigvald]], Slaanesh's favorite not-Caligula/not-Joffrey.
*The [[Emperor's Children]] legion - The largest contingent of sick fucks on this side of the warp. And on that side of the warp.
*[[Fulgrim]] - Primarch of the largest contingent of sick fucks <strike>on this side (and that side) of the warp</strike> ever.
*[[Fabius Bile|Fabulous Bile]] - What you get by combining a self-obsessed homosexual and Dr. Frankenstein, only this one is played by geriatric [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kane_%28wrestler%29 Glenn Jacobs] instead of young Tim Curry.
*[[Lucius]] - Considered by some as the Sickest of Fucks amongst the living.
*[[Doomrider]] - He does COCAINE!
*[[Miriael Sabathiel]] - The <s>first</s> only Sister of Battle to <s>fall to</s> willingly embrace Chaos and champion of Slaanesh.
*[[Daemonette]] - Daemons of Slaanesh. Viewing said content is heretical, in 20 seconds or less after clicking the link, expect a squad of inquisitorial storm troopers to barge-in and blam you to hell.
*[[Reasonable Daemonette]] - Slaanesh's perversion knows no bounds. Hers does, and she respects yours.
*[[Loli D]] - The [[loli]] variant of the Slaaneshi Daemonette. Viewing said content is [[Extra Heresy|extra heretical]]. E-Commissars can and will [[Exterminatus|blam you from your monitor with the utmost prejudice]] if you click on this link.
*http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Slaanesh's_sacrifice.pdf
*[https://youtu.be/42i1q-sE15o?t=13s Rick and Morty's visit to the Realm of Slaanesh]

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[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]]