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Cimmeriac

2022-09-19T07:28:26Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:4D2A:F65C:6AAF:A507:

The Cimmeriac were a little-known xenos race from the Eastern Fringe.

Facing the Tyranid invasion of Hive Fleet Jormungandr in the late 41st Millennium, they accepted the uneasy truce proposed by High Admiral Vortigern Hanroth to join his loose alliance of various fleets with their Shadowcruiser starships.

In 995.M41, during the subsequent Battle of Black Nebula, Hanroth and his unlikely allies shattered Hive Fleet Jormungandr.

Nevertheless, less than five Terran years later Hanroth himself would lead the obliteration of the Cimmeriac civilisation in the name of the Emperor, proving once again that despite all the HFY! Imperium and Chaos fans love to rub in the faces of Xenos players, in the end even the "good guys" of the humans are scumbags who are willing to kill those who fight beside them for their own gain.

[[Category: Minor Xenos Species]]

Cimmeriac

2022-09-19T07:28:01Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:4D2A:F65C:6AAF:A507:

Hrenian

2022-09-19T07:25:31Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:4D2A:F65C:6AAF:A507:

Hrenians are a group or species of alien that are known to have fought with the Tau as Light Infantry. Hrenian Light Infantry formed part of the D'yanoi Sept's Be'etar Expeditionary Force. They were part of its Auxiliary Reserve Dispatch, alongside Kroot Carnivores, Vespid Stingwings, and Morralian Deathsworn.

[[Category: Minor Xenos Species]]

Being of Ib

2022-09-19T05:19:25Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:4D2A:F65C:6AAF:A507:

[[File:being of ib SPFG Dreamlands.jpg|thumb]]
The '''Beings of Ib''' or '''Ibians''' are a race of amphibious, [[gnome]]-like humanoids from the [[Dreamlands]] portion of the [[Cthulhu Mythos]] invented by [[H.P. Lovecraft]]. Appearing in the story "The Doom that Came to Sarnath", they were described as having erected a stone city called Ib on the banks of a vast seepage lake (meaning it has no inlet or outlet streams, but instead seeps up from an underground aquifer), located somewhere in the land of Mnar. The Ibians were described as having “…bulging eyes, pouting, flabby lips, and curious ears, and were without voice.” In addition, these creatures were known to have a thin, greenish skin. They were also known to worship Bokrug, the great water-lizard, and dance in front of a stone idol of this being when the moon was gibbous. They were ultimately wiped out by human settlers who built a nearby city of their own called Sarnath, but their ghosts returned a thousand years later and drove the inhabitants from Sarnath, scattering them across Mnar and drowning the city in revenge.

==Pathfinder==
Beings of Ib are amongst the many Mythosian creatures to enter the [[Great Beyond]] cosmology of [[Golarion]]; whilst the Ib Shades, the undead remnants of the Ibians from the [[Dreamlands]] are the most frequently encountered, it's believed that other Ibians still exist on other worlds or scattered throughout the Dreamlands, pursuing peaceful lives around lakes and in swamps, where their worst offense is their devout religion in the fairly unmalevolent Great Old One known as Bokrug. Ibians appeared as both undead Ib Shades and as living creatures in the adventure "Dreams of the Yellow King", the 3rd part of the Mythosian-based adventure path "Strange Aeons". They were even presented as a PC option.

===PC Stats===
::-4 Strength, -2 Constitution, +4 Wisdom
::Medium
::Aberration
::Base Speed 20 feet, Swim Speed 30 feet
::Darkvision 60 feet
::Low-Light Vision
::Aquatic: Can move in water without making Swim checks, Swim is always a class skill, can breathe underwater.
::Amphibious: Can survive indefinitely on land.
::Amorphous: An ibian's alien bodily structure makes it immune to precision damage and critical hits.
::Voiceless: A being of ib can learn and understand languages, but is incurably mute; it cannot speak or take any verbal action. Ibian spellcasters replace vocal components for their spells with thought components. Their native language is based on hand gestures and facial expressions.

{{Pathfinder-Races}}

==A Song of Ice and Fire==
Ibans appear in ASOIAF as an odd mixture between how they appear in Lovecraft's works and of Dwarves. They appear like Dwarves who have the green skin of an Ibian, but instead of living in underground caves they are a seafaring people.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
being of ib Dreamlands 3e.jpg|Call of Cthulhu
being of ib Dreamlands 5e.png
ghost being of ib Dreamlands 5e.png
ib shade SA3.png|Pathfinder
</gallery>

[[Category: Monsters]] [[Category: Cthulhu Mythos]]

Cuisine

2022-09-19T05:15:08Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:4D2A:F65C:6AAF:A507: /* Manticore */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats & other Monster Products==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with a delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, and spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Aboleth===
Hope you like insanity, since you'll get little else from aboleth meat. Since their brains grow through their bodies down to their tails you cant easily avoid having the meat tainted by grey matter, plus the added issue of their toxic slime and large amount of blood in their bodies make them near impossible to consume. However, illithids have a particular taste for aboleth brain, which not only satisfies their taste for brains and memories but also has a creamy texture.

===Ankheg===
Has a very earthy, flakey meat which can be delicious if cooked properly. Dwarves of certain southern clans swear by Ankheg gumbo and jambalaya, which they spice heavily with hot spices to make it even more flavorful. The creatures can also be fried whole and broken open or eaten whole for their delicious meat and the crunch of their shells.

===Ankylosaurus===
While the meat of these dinosaurs is well marbled and with a gamey, delicious flavor the downside is the toughness of the meat. Often the meat must be hung and aged in a special cellar or very tenderized before cooking. Ideally the meat is jerked or slow cooked and slathered with thick, spicy sauces that have been flavored with the rendered fat from the animal. Ankylosaur jerky is also valued for its excellent yields of meat.

===Assassin Vine===
The sap of the Assassin Vine can be distilled into a syrup that tastes heavily like sour grapes and has mild alcoholic content. As such, satyr and dwarf rangers will often risk the dangers of capturing saplings of assassin vines and attempt to farm heavily-trimmed specimens for their sap. This is a dangerous endeavor if the plants are allowed to grow too big, as they could turn on the would-be farmers.

===Aurochs===
The orcs are renowned for their cooking of aurochs, which they prefer to do as kabobs that have been marinated to cook the meat through and reduce the toughness. When butchering an auroch, nothing is wasted: ribs, steaks and filets are all cut, the bones are used to make broths or stock, the fat is rendered, the suet from the kidneys is used in puddings and in making tallow, and any spare meat is used to make a condensed food called pemmican that can last for years.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks, and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, and meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with a damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and a powerful magic user often keeps them penned and fattens them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Behir===
These monstrosities have a taste similar to alligators or crocodiles, but with a slightly sharp and static-laced aftertaste. Originally created by the giants, only they know the best ways to cook them, but sliced and fried behir tail nuggets can be a fine delicacy for those who enjoy the taste. Best served with sauces that have lots of umami and spice, such as those from the Eastern lands.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder's brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Boogins===
This race originates as hybrids of Orcs and Quaggoths, and as such their flavor is a mixture of the Quaggoth's sweeter venison-type flavor and the Orc's porklike flavor. Whilst a bit of a bitch to cook, it's well worth it, as the taste is similar to sweet pork, allowing for delicious, sweet, and tangy meat similar to pulled pork to be made and utilized in sandwiches.

===[[Bowler]]===
Bowler meat is a rare delicacy amongst crag/heathland living tribes of humans and humanoids. On one hand, the energy expenditure to obtain it is enormous, not only are bowlers near impossible to distinguish from the surrounding rock without magical or psionic aid, but they are also extremely tough to crack open, requiring strength equivalent to giant humanoids or a plethora of specially made tools. The reward however some claim, makes it worth it. Bowler meat is sweet tasting and smelling, with a wonderful aroma when fried in any sort of seed-based oil. A haggis made from their stomachs and stuffed with a plethora of vegetables and meats are considered a meal worth entire fortunes and sometimes act as dowries for primitive tribes and societies.

===Brontosaurus===
You can scarcely find any bigger or better source of grass-fed, perfectly marbled meat. The tons of steaks, ribs, filets, roasts, and other meats could feed a village for years. A skilled butcher could make 1,000 lbs of sausage from these dinosaurs, but doing so is almost a disservice to the tasty, gamey-bovine-reptilian flavor of the meat. What's more, brontosaur bone marrow can be used to make stock by the gallons!

===Bugbear===
Tastes like a mixture of Ogre meat and Hobgoblin meat, but should still be cooked well done as although they aren't as dirty as their Goblin relatives, they still aren't quite as clean as Hobgoblins. They're also a bitch to shave all the hair off of before cooking.

===Bulette===
An odd mixture of fishy and reptilian flavors, bulette is extremely hard to catch and even harder to cook. Most of the meat is in the shoulders, ribs, and limbs of the animal, which can be cooked with strong sweet and sour flavors to make a flavorful cooked meal. Bulette sashimi is a rare delicacy in the eastern lands.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Camel===
Very few people have the ability to properly butcher and process camel other than desert nomads and professional butchers in those regions. Best served slow cooked shortly after being butchered, camel fat renders down wonderfully with the fat in the hump acting as an excellent flavor booster for the shoulder and flank meat. Be warned, a certain Camel Merchant will not be happy if he catches you butchering his camels...

===[[Carbuncle]]===
Finding pristine carbuncle meat in any market is a rare occurrence, as most carbuncle corpses are shredded beyond recognition, owing to the raw universal hatred of the creature. However, those lucky enough to be treated to a meal of intact carbuncle are surprised by the naturally soft yet marbled meat, with a generous layer of fat and a surprisingly non-gamey taste. Owing to their tendency to eat processed and cooked foods from their victims.

===Catfolk===
Catfolk meat tastes a lot like a cat, which is similar to sour pork. As such, the Ancient Evil Eastern Empire would use Catfolk meat as a substitute for Sweet and Sour Pork at times. The Nobles and Royalty of the Ancient Eastern Evil Empire used to devour beastfolk slaves' meat as what they claimed was an "exotic dish", despite running mass breeding programs to make the meat plentiful for the populace, in an attempt to bribe the human majority with "rich people food" and to make them guilty by association with the inhumane practice, hoping the majority of the populace would turn a blind eye if they were also implicated in the butchery. This didn't work in the long term. However, Catfolk could be said to be the catalyst of the downfall of the Beastman Flesh Trade, as the Nobles' young men often fell in love with Catgirls, whom they would often intermarry with.

===Catoblepas===
Few would be desperate enough to eat these swamp dwelling beasts, as their meat is either too watery or too gamey to be of much use. On top of that the stink of the animal can permeate the meat, making much of it useless for food. Some Orcs have made a spectacle of consuming catoblepas meat to prove their strength and attractiveness for mates, but most turn them down due to the stinking breath and potential disease such a meal can bring.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour, and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" aftertaste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as a goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, and stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creature's "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. The best meat is in the claws and legs and is best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, oranges, or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===[[Cloaker]]===
Cloakers are prized for the two valuable products they produce from their butchery, their skins, and their meat. Cloaker meat has been described as a mix between cod and shark, with a light texture and little need for deboning making it perfect for whole filets. Cloaker skin is highly sought after for its properties of magical means (being able to enhance the strength of illusion, shadow, and ninjitsu magic) and durability. Many tailors, haberdashers, cordwainers, and leather workers of all kinds celebrate good business years with a meal of baked Cloaker filets, the irony of the food's fate adding to its deliciousness.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped-up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===[[Dohwar]]===
Regular non-sapient penguin meat is best described as "oily chicken", with it's breast being very robust dark meat with a fish-like taste. Dohwar meat is the complete opposite, fatty to a sickening degree, with no texture or firmness to think of, and usually polluted with alcohol and drugs due to most Dohwar's hedonistic lifestyles. [[Psurlon]]'s seem to be the only race of beings able to tolerate it, making passable stews and a wide variety of cold salads & pasta with the meat.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin's half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears, and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture, and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dragon Turtles===
A salty, reptilian meat that is prized by ocean hunters. While catching and killing the dragon turtle is dangerous, the rewards are excellent. The spicy, salty flavor means the meat needs less help from other spices and makes it excellent for soups and stews. Dragon turtle soup made within the shell of the beast itself is a legendary feast among the coastal folk.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow, and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it it's signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of freshwater fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter-making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to its slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Ghouls===
These death-magic-saturated beings are a type of mutation which results in the afflicted being compelled to eat the bodies of the dead, including their species, regardless if the flesh is fresh or rotten carrion. As such, their meat is often tainted by disease and parasites much like a Hyena-Man Gnoll's is.
===[[Ghost]]===
Ectoplasm is extremely salty, to an almost comical degree. Any sort of skin-breathing creature that needs a layer of mucus or liquid on its skin is liable to take extreme burn like injuries from even a small splash of it. However veteran ghost hunters are known to use small drops of ectoplasm as a seasoning and in places where salt baking is common, a glaze of ectoplasm can serve just as well, providing a hardened crust when heated in an oven.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as they are fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky, spiced ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the pork-like Orc meat.

===Gnoll (Hyena Men)===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burning expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal.

===Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)===
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes taste like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease-infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment, and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen into a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste, not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simply eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Hobgoblin===
Hobgoblin meat is much less dangerous than Goblin meat, as Hobgoblins clean themselves, worry about their health and so medicate, and cook their food. Otherwise, it is similar to Goblin meat. You would think this would make the consumption of Hobgoblin meat more widespread, but civilized folk tends to look down on the consumption of Hobgoblin meat even more than that of Goblin meat because they see Hobgoblins with their civilization, evil as it is, as making them more "people" than Goblins are with their primitive, dirty lifestyles.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with humans in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting its regenerating, delicious, and easy to prepare meat.

===Kenku===
Kenku doesn't taste that much different than Ravens, which in turn tastes like wild duck. As such, a slain Kenku can easily be cooked up and served like any other bird, although they were only served openly as such in the same ancient Eastern Evil Empires that served Dog-Kobolds and Catfolk meat in open-air sapient-butcher slave-flesh markets. They were served cooked and hot with a serving of duck sauce. Removing the feathers was often done whilst the Kenku was still alive, which was seen as both an embarrassment and torture.

===Kobold(Tiny Draconic Lizardmen)===
These guys taste a bit like Dragon, but ironically a lot better in flavor and cookability. They're compared to tasting like a spicy fried lizard when cooked, with lizard tasting like chicken.

===Kobold(Tiny Dog Men)===
These beings, who share the name of Kobolds and often inhabit similar cave environments, are said to taste like the dogs they resemble, which is similar to beef. In times past, where some Oriental Cultures were ruled by Evil-aligned Leaders, the Dog Kobolds were kept in massive death camps and forcibly bred, every year the leader would attempt to numb the suffering of the common populace race against rebellion by having a Kobold Festival, where hundreds, perhaps thousands of kobolds were kept in cages before being publicly executed by being butchered and deep fried in oil. This practice has been stopped in recent years due to mass Dog Kobold escapes leading to rebellions and riots, outside pressure by boycott sanctions by Kingdoms who are against the consumption of sapients, and societal revolutions.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, Kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great Kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swine out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa has the ability to bring their imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked Kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Lindworm===
Lindworm meat is rather bland, like an unseasoned, boiled chicken. However, it can be prepared into a delicious meal utilizing the correct blend of herbs and spices. Northern barbarian warrior tribes often enjoy the feast after slaying one of these beasts as they see them as an open canvas for experimenting with the many spices and herbs they have looted in their travels, raids, and adventures.

===Locathah===
Taste much like Catfish, and as such, locathah living near coastal bayous and swamps need to watch out for unscrupulous immoral fish merchants willing to murder and butcher a locathah for their meat and pass it off as mounds of smoky, fire-cooked catfish.

===Loxodon===
As beings that resemble a humanoid elephant, Loxodon meat is stated to taste mostly the same as actual elephants, pretty unpleasant, with a bit of the watery porklike flavor of Humans as an undertone. They still often guard their dead at the Loxodon Graveyards to make sure poachers and cannibalistic sapients don't defile these holy places for their meat, as despite not tasting that good, corrupt colonial nobles with more money than sense often serve Loxodon meat at parties while telling tall tales of their safari for the meat, often telling lurid tales of slaughtering whole Loxodon villages when in reality they paid off a poacher/grave robber to either sneak into the nearest Loxodon Graveyard and find a way to steal a recent corpse or murder a lone traveling Loxodon.
===Leucrotta===
Dark and tough meat, tasting like that of larger antelopes and various wild canines. Meat should be consumed with caution even with cooking due to their corpse scavenging nature, Leucrotta raised in private reserves however is said to be some of the cleanest living game, with wonderful taste when smoked over most woods.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, very sweet yet bitter meat- except the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptionally sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Merfolk===
A mixture of porklike human flavoring and fish. As such, sometimes particularly immoral fishermen with trawlers will "accidentally" catch merfolk in with their regular haul. This does nothing to help already embittered sea/land tensions over pollution from land civilizations.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orcs as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong-smelling, red meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, and sausages, but it excels in stews and soups with a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery, and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs, and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment its very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Quaggoth===
These bearlike humanoids taste mostly like the meat of a bear, with perhaps a bit of the watery pork undertones humans have, albeit not enough to affect the flavor in too negative of a way. As such, Quaggoth stew is pretty much easily sold off by immoral frontier innkeepers to traveling adventurers, as a way of making extra coin from and covering up massacres of Quaggoth tribes for their land & natural resources.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze-dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil,' Ropers are quite delicious, shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic, butter, mushrooms, and onions. Their Piercer larva are also sometimes skewered with a stick and roasted over a fire by Troglodytes.

===[[Rust Monster]]===
The meat is similar to other giant land arthropod meats, with a texture and form not unlike ocean-dwelling crustaceans, notably earthy in flavor and relatively soft in texture. However, Rust monster meat is notorious for its heavy metallic aftertaste and sometimes toxic levels of lead and other metals. It is said that the [[Drow]] raise rust monsters with a diet of noble inert metals such as platinum and gold, leading to a slice of colorful meat with little or no metallic tones. The frontal feelers are said to be chewy yet soft and are delicious when deep fried in butter and sliced like calamari.

===Sahuagin===
The meat of a Sahuagin has a sort of flavor that mixes the flavors of Shark with Alligator, with a sort of spicy undertone. It is often prepared Cajun-style by the City Guard of Seaside Land-Dweller cities after failed Sahuagin raids, served with loads of marinara sauce with grilled corn cobs, buttered and boiled chuul, peppers, lemon-soaked-and-grilled shrimp and spices mixed up in a huge serving tray.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added to the teaspoons into water.

===Slimes===
Gelatinous Cubes are inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid. Other slime varieties vary wildly in safety of consumption, how to prepare to ensure safety, and side effects.

===Thouls===
These creatures of mixed Ghoul, Troll, and Hobgoblin descent are an absolute mess to work with. They're filled with disease, their flesh regenerates unless cooked to damn near char, and the meat has the same addictive qualities as a Goblin's. As such, a torture method by certain Eastern Empires is force-feeding Thoul Jerky to traitors and other hated individuals, ensuring they become addicted and cursing them to a painful death looking for food they hate, have to damn near turn to ash to consume safely, and is dangerous to hunt. What's worth, the eater may contract Ghoulism, and death is often not enough for relief for sapient beings who consume Thoul, as if one dies afterward from Thoul meat regenerating in their gut, they may become a Gaki or "Hungry Ghost", a ghoul-like undead obsessed with eating one type of disgusting food which they find no enjoyment in eating, in this case, Thoul meat.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass-fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and slathered with sauce, and even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meatloaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troggle===
Hybrids of Ogres and Trolls, the meat of these bestial idiots have the fatty flavorfulness of an ogre-meat steak with only slightly sour undertones from their Troll parentage, with the bonus of the meat being regenerating, with the downside of requiring being cooked until every cell is dead to prevent regenerating Troggle flesh bursting from the consumer's gut. Some enterprising yet depraved ogre chefs took care to "breed" some for meat production, capturing and forcing themselves upon trolls, and keeping them captive to ensure the birth of Troggles. These poor souls were kept chained up and fed so their ogre parents could harvest meat from them, usually resulting in the Troggle child growing up mentally scarred and naturally mistrustful. Most Ogre tribes, although of limited morality, view this as a sick and twisted act, and will viciously beat the offending Ogre to death upon discovery of such depraved meat dungeons. The troll parent and the troggle are then released to the wild, to a cruel world where neither is truly accepted again amongst trolls or ogres. Still, the meat's pretty good though, and plentiful, and as such some Evil-Aligned Military Dictatorships had in the past taken to kidnapping whole tribes of Ogres and Trolls to forcibly breed Troggles, who they keep in horrific butchery camps to produce meat which was burnt to a crisp to prevent regeneration, to produce mass amounts of protein rations for soldiers, a fate worth than death for the Troggles, who could languish in these mind breaking conditions indefinitely. As such, Trolls and Ogres rarely mate nowadays, for memories of the horrors of Meat-Camps are still passed down by the small tribes of these brutish giant humanoids, ensuring Troggles are a lonely breed with very few Troggle-only settlements, usually in the vicinity of the liberated Meat-Camps after the past Evil Empires were lost to war and the ravages of time.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Rarely hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meatballs, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted unicorns and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Velociraptor===
Most think these little dinosaurs have little enough meat on them to be worth the hunt, but they miss out on one of the best possible meals! The reptiles can be easily plucked and skinned and have a slightly more gamey texture than turkey, and roast up beautifully when stuffed with herbs, lemon, and butter. In some jungles communities a feast of several of these birdlike dinosaurs is a yearly and much revered tradition.

===Wolf-in-Sheep's-Clothing===
Whilst the corpse of a small animal it uses as a lure on top of the stump body tends to be somewhat fresh, the fact it's full of filaments for controlling its movement tends to make the meat full of splinters. The wood of the main plant-creature, however, can be used as fuel for cooking other meats and is known for adding a good smoky flavor to meat cooked over it.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened to the "spam of the dwarves" given how inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of its texture.

===Wyvern===
Wyvern meat tastes like sour, spicy chicken, although the meat is risky to eat, as if the poisonous breath organ of the wyvern is burst during slaying it, it could potentially internally spread into the creature's bloodstream and render the meat riddled with the poison which, whilst the wyvern itself is immune to, could poison any race consuming the meat without poison resistance or immunity. As such, having a spell or potion of cure poison on hand whilst consuming wyvern meat is advised.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off-putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to their similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-09-19T05:07:26Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:4D2A:F65C:6AAF:A507: /* Camel */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats & other Monster Products==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with a delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, and spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Aboleth===
Hope you like insanity, since you'll get little else from aboleth meat. Since their brains grow through their bodies down to their tails you cant easily avoid having the meat tainted by grey matter, plus the added issue of their toxic slime and large amount of blood in their bodies make them near impossible to consume. However, illithids have a particular taste for aboleth brain, which not only satisfies their taste for brains and memories but also has a creamy texture.

===Ankheg===
Has a very earthy, flakey meat which can be delicious if cooked properly. Dwarves of certain southern clans swear by Ankheg gumbo and jambalaya, which they spice heavily with hot spices to make it even more flavorful. The creatures can also be fried whole and broken open or eaten whole for their delicious meat and the crunch of their shells.

===Ankylosaurus===
While the meat of these dinosaurs is well marbled and with a gamey, delicious flavor the downside is the toughness of the meat. Often the meat must be hung and aged in a special cellar or very tenderized before cooking. Ideally the meat is jerked or slow cooked and slathered with thick, spicy sauces that have been flavored with the rendered fat from the animal. Ankylosaur jerky is also valued for its excellent yields of meat.

===Assassin Vine===
The sap of the Assassin Vine can be distilled into a syrup that tastes heavily like sour grapes and has mild alcoholic content. As such, satyr and dwarf rangers will often risk the dangers of capturing saplings of assassin vines and attempt to farm heavily-trimmed specimens for their sap. This is a dangerous endeavor if the plants are allowed to grow too big, as they could turn on the would-be farmers.

===Aurochs===
The orcs are renowned for their cooking of aurochs, which they prefer to do as kabobs that have been marinated to cook the meat through and reduce the toughness. When butchering an auroch, nothing is wasted: ribs, steaks and filets are all cut, the bones are used to make broths or stock, the fat is rendered, the suet from the kidneys is used in puddings and in making tallow, and any spare meat is used to make a condensed food called pemmican that can last for years.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks, and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, and meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with a damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and a powerful magic user often keeps them penned and fattens them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Behir===
These monstrosities have a taste similar to alligators or crocodiles, but with a slightly sharp and static-laced aftertaste. Originally created by the giants, only they know the best ways to cook them, but sliced and fried behir tail nuggets can be a fine delicacy for those who enjoy the taste. Best served with sauces that have lots of umami and spice, such as those from the Eastern lands.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder's brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Boogins===
This race originates as hybrids of Orcs and Quaggoths, and as such their flavor is a mixture of the Quaggoth's sweeter venison-type flavor and the Orc's porklike flavor. Whilst a bit of a bitch to cook, it's well worth it, as the taste is similar to sweet pork, allowing for delicious, sweet, and tangy meat similar to pulled pork to be made and utilized in sandwiches.

===[[Bowler]]===
Bowler meat is a rare delicacy amongst crag/heathland living tribes of humans and humanoids. On one hand, the energy expenditure to obtain it is enormous, not only are bowlers near impossible to distinguish from the surrounding rock without magical or psionic aid, but they are also extremely tough to crack open, requiring strength equivalent to giant humanoids or a plethora of specially made tools. The reward however some claim, makes it worth it. Bowler meat is sweet tasting and smelling, with a wonderful aroma when fried in any sort of seed-based oil. A haggis made from their stomachs and stuffed with a plethora of vegetables and meats are considered a meal worth entire fortunes and sometimes act as dowries for primitive tribes and societies.

===Brontosaurus===
You can scarcely find any bigger or better source of grass-fed, perfectly marbled meat. The tons of steaks, ribs, filets, roasts, and other meats could feed a village for years. A skilled butcher could make 1,000 lbs of sausage from these dinosaurs, but doing so is almost a disservice to the tasty, gamey-bovine-reptilian flavor of the meat. What's more, brontosaur bone marrow can be used to make stock by the gallons!

===Bugbear===
Tastes like a mixture of Ogre meat and Hobgoblin meat, but should still be cooked well done as although they aren't as dirty as their Goblin relatives, they still aren't quite as clean as Hobgoblins. They're also a bitch to shave all the hair off of before cooking.

===Bulette===
An odd mixture of fishy and reptilian flavors, bulette is extremely hard to catch and even harder to cook. Most of the meat is in the shoulders, ribs, and limbs of the animal, which can be cooked with strong sweet and sour flavors to make a flavorful cooked meal. Bulette sashimi is a rare delicacy in the eastern lands.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Camel===
Very few people have the ability to properly butcher and process camel other than desert nomads and professional butchers in those regions. Best served slow cooked shortly after being butchered, camel fat renders down wonderfully with the fat in the hump acting as an excellent flavor booster for the shoulder and flank meat. Be warned, a certain Camel Merchant will not be happy if he catches you butchering his camels...

===[[Carbuncle]]===
Finding pristine carbuncle meat in any market is a rare occurrence, as most carbuncle corpses are shredded beyond recognition, owing to the raw universal hatred of the creature. However, those lucky enough to be treated to a meal of intact carbuncle are surprised by the naturally soft yet marbled meat, with a generous layer of fat and a surprisingly non-gamey taste. Owing to their tendency to eat processed and cooked foods from their victims.

===Catfolk===
Catfolk meat tastes a lot like a cat, which is similar to sour pork. As such, the Ancient Evil Eastern Empire would use Catfolk meat as a substitute for Sweet and Sour Pork at times. The Nobles and Royalty of the Ancient Eastern Evil Empire used to devour beastfolk slaves' meat as what they claimed was an "exotic dish", despite running mass breeding programs to make the meat plentiful for the populace, in an attempt to bribe the human majority with "rich people food" and to make them guilty by association with the inhumane practice, hoping the majority of the populace would turn a blind eye if they were also implicated in the butchery. This didn't work in the long term. However, Catfolk could be said to be the catalyst of the downfall of the Beastman Flesh Trade, as the Nobles' young men often fell in love with Catgirls, whom they would often intermarry with.

===Catoblepas===
Few would be desperate enough to eat these swamp dwelling beasts, as their meat is either too watery or too gamey to be of much use. On top of that the stink of the animal can permeate the meat, making much of it useless for food. Some Orcs have made a spectacle of consuming catoblepas meat to prove their strength and attractiveness for mates, but most turn them down due to the stinking breath and potential disease such a meal can bring.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour, and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" aftertaste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as a goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, and stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creature's "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. The best meat is in the claws and legs and is best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, oranges, or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===[[Cloaker]]===
Cloakers are prized for the two valuable products they produce from their butchery, their skins, and their meat. Cloaker meat has been described as a mix between cod and shark, with a light texture and little need for deboning making it perfect for whole filets. Cloaker skin is highly sought after for its properties of magical means (being able to enhance the strength of illusion, shadow, and ninjitsu magic) and durability. Many tailors, haberdashers, cordwainers, and leather workers of all kinds celebrate good business years with a meal of baked Cloaker filets, the irony of the food's fate adding to its deliciousness.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped-up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===[[Dohwar]]===
Regular non-sapient penguin meat is best described as "oily chicken", with it's breast being very robust dark meat with a fish-like taste. Dohwar meat is the complete opposite, fatty to a sickening degree, with no texture or firmness to think of, and usually polluted with alcohol and drugs due to most Dohwar's hedonistic lifestyles. [[Psurlon]]'s seem to be the only race of beings able to tolerate it, making passable stews and a wide variety of cold salads & pasta with the meat.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin's half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears, and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture, and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dragon Turtles===
A salty, reptilian meat that is prized by ocean hunters. While catching and killing the dragon turtle is dangerous, the rewards are excellent. The spicy, salty flavor means the meat needs less help from other spices and makes it excellent for soups and stews. Dragon turtle soup made within the shell of the beast itself is a legendary feast among the coastal folk.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow, and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it it's signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of freshwater fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter-making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to its slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Ghouls===
These death-magic-saturated beings are a type of mutation which results in the afflicted being compelled to eat the bodies of the dead, including their species, regardless if the flesh is fresh or rotten carrion. As such, their meat is often tainted by disease and parasites much like a Hyena-Man Gnoll's is.
===[[Ghost]]===
Ectoplasm is extremely salty, to an almost comical degree. Any sort of skin-breathing creature that needs a layer of mucus or liquid on its skin is liable to take extreme burn like injuries from even a small splash of it. However veteran ghost hunters are known to use small drops of ectoplasm as a seasoning and in places where salt baking is common, a glaze of ectoplasm can serve just as well, providing a hardened crust when heated in an oven.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as they are fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky, spiced ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the pork-like Orc meat.

===Gnoll (Hyena Men)===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burning expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal.

===Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)===
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes taste like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease-infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment, and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen into a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste, not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simply eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Hobgoblin===
Hobgoblin meat is much less dangerous than Goblin meat, as Hobgoblins clean themselves, worry about their health and so medicate, and cook their food. Otherwise, it is similar to Goblin meat. You would think this would make the consumption of Hobgoblin meat more widespread, but civilized folk tends to look down on the consumption of Hobgoblin meat even more than that of Goblin meat because they see Hobgoblins with their civilization, evil as it is, as making them more "people" than Goblins are with their primitive, dirty lifestyles.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with humans in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting its regenerating, delicious, and easy to prepare meat.

===Kenku===
Kenku doesn't taste that much different than Ravens, which in turn tastes like wild duck. As such, a slain Kenku can easily be cooked up and served like any other bird, although they were only served openly as such in the same ancient Eastern Evil Empires that served Dog-Kobolds and Catfolk meat in open-air sapient-butcher slave-flesh markets. They were served cooked and hot with a serving of duck sauce. Removing the feathers was often done whilst the Kenku was still alive, which was seen as both an embarrassment and torture.

===Kobold(Tiny Draconic Lizardmen)===
These guys taste a bit like Dragon, but ironically a lot better in flavor and cookability. They're compared to tasting like a spicy fried lizard when cooked, with lizard tasting like chicken.

===Kobold(Tiny Dog Men)===
These beings, who share the name of Kobolds and often inhabit similar cave environments, are said to taste like the dogs they resemble, which is similar to beef. In times past, where some Oriental Cultures were ruled by Evil-aligned Leaders, the Dog Kobolds were kept in massive death camps and forcibly bred, every year the leader would attempt to numb the suffering of the common populace race against rebellion by having a Kobold Festival, where hundreds, perhaps thousands of kobolds were kept in cages before being publicly executed by being butchered and deep fried in oil. This practice has been stopped in recent years due to mass Dog Kobold escapes leading to rebellions and riots, outside pressure by boycott sanctions by Kingdoms who are against the consumption of sapients, and societal revolutions.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, Kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great Kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swine out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa has the ability to bring their imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked Kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Lindworm===
Lindworm meat is rather bland, like an unseasoned, boiled chicken. However, it can be prepared into a delicious meal utilizing the correct blend of herbs and spices. Northern barbarian warrior tribes often enjoy the feast after slaying one of these beasts as they see them as an open canvas for experimenting with the many spices and herbs they have looted in their travels, raids, and adventures.

===Locathah===
Taste much like Catfish, and as such, locathah living near coastal bayous and swamps need to watch out for unscrupulous immoral fish merchants willing to murder and butcher a locathah for their meat and pass it off as mounds of smoky, fire-cooked catfish.

===Loxodon===
As beings that resemble a humanoid elephant, Loxodon meat is stated to taste mostly the same as actual elephants, pretty unpleasant, with a bit of the watery porklike flavor of Humans as an undertone. They still often guard their dead at the Loxodon Graveyards to make sure poachers and cannibalistic sapients don't defile these holy places for their meat, as despite not tasting that good, corrupt colonial nobles with more money than sense often serve Loxodon meat at parties while telling tall tales of their safari for the meat, often telling lurid tales of slaughtering whole Loxodon villages when in reality they paid off a poacher/grave robber to either sneak into the nearest Loxodon Graveyard and find a way to steal a recent corpse or murder a lone traveling Loxodon.
===Leucrotta===
Dark and tough meat, tasting like that of larger antelopes and various wild canines. Meat should be consumed with caution even with cooking due to their corpse scavenging nature, Leucrotta raised in private reserves however is said to be some of the cleanest living game, with wonderful taste when smoked over most woods.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, very sweet yet bitter meat- except the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptionally sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orcs as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong-smelling, red meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, and sausages, but it excels in stews and soups with a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery, and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs, and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment its very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Quaggoth===
These bearlike humanoids taste mostly like the meat of a bear, with perhaps a bit of the watery pork undertones humans have, albeit not enough to affect the flavor in too negative of a way. As such, Quaggoth stew is pretty much easily sold off by immoral frontier innkeepers to traveling adventurers, as a way of making extra coin from and covering up massacres of Quaggoth tribes for their land & natural resources.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze-dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil,' Ropers are quite delicious, shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic, butter, mushrooms, and onions. Their Piercer larva are also sometimes skewered with a stick and roasted over a fire by Troglodytes.

===[[Rust Monster]]===
The meat is similar to other giant land arthropod meats, with a texture and form not unlike ocean-dwelling crustaceans, notably earthy in flavor and relatively soft in texture. However, Rust monster meat is notorious for its heavy metallic aftertaste and sometimes toxic levels of lead and other metals. It is said that the [[Drow]] raise rust monsters with a diet of noble inert metals such as platinum and gold, leading to a slice of colorful meat with little or no metallic tones. The frontal feelers are said to be chewy yet soft and are delicious when deep fried in butter and sliced like calamari.

===Sahuagin===
The meat of a Sahuagin has a sort of flavor that mixes the flavors of Shark with Alligator, with a sort of spicy undertone. It is often prepared Cajun-style by the City Guard of Seaside Land-Dweller cities after failed Sahuagin raids, served with loads of marinara sauce with grilled corn cobs, buttered and boiled chuul, peppers, lemon-soaked-and-grilled shrimp and spices mixed up in a huge serving tray.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added to the teaspoons into water.

===Slimes===
Gelatinous Cubes are inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid. Other slime varieties vary wildly in safety of consumption, how to prepare to ensure safety, and side effects.

===Thouls===
These creatures of mixed Ghoul, Troll, and Hobgoblin descent are an absolute mess to work with. They're filled with disease, their flesh regenerates unless cooked to damn near char, and the meat has the same addictive qualities as a Goblin's. As such, a torture method by certain Eastern Empires is force-feeding Thoul Jerky to traitors and other hated individuals, ensuring they become addicted and cursing them to a painful death looking for food they hate, have to damn near turn to ash to consume safely, and is dangerous to hunt. What's worth, the eater may contract Ghoulism, and death is often not enough for relief for sapient beings who consume Thoul, as if one dies afterward from Thoul meat regenerating in their gut, they may become a Gaki or "Hungry Ghost", a ghoul-like undead obsessed with eating one type of disgusting food which they find no enjoyment in eating, in this case, Thoul meat.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass-fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and slathered with sauce, and even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meatloaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troggle===
Hybrids of Ogres and Trolls, the meat of these bestial idiots have the fatty flavorfulness of an ogre-meat steak with only slightly sour undertones from their Troll parentage, with the bonus of the meat being regenerating, with the downside of requiring being cooked until every cell is dead to prevent regenerating Troggle flesh bursting from the consumer's gut. Some enterprising yet depraved ogre chefs took care to "breed" some for meat production, capturing and forcing themselves upon trolls, and keeping them captive to ensure the birth of Troggles. These poor souls were kept chained up and fed so their ogre parents could harvest meat from them, usually resulting in the Troggle child growing up mentally scarred and naturally mistrustful. Most Ogre tribes, although of limited morality, view this as a sick and twisted act, and will viciously beat the offending Ogre to death upon discovery of such depraved meat dungeons. The troll parent and the troggle are then released to the wild, to a cruel world where neither is truly accepted again amongst trolls or ogres. Still, the meat's pretty good though, and plentiful, and as such some Evil-Aligned Military Dictatorships had in the past taken to kidnapping whole tribes of Ogres and Trolls to forcibly breed Troggles, who they keep in horrific butchery camps to produce meat which was burnt to a crisp to prevent regeneration, to produce mass amounts of protein rations for soldiers, a fate worth than death for the Troggles, who could languish in these mind breaking conditions indefinitely. As such, Trolls and Ogres rarely mate nowadays, for memories of the horrors of Meat-Camps are still passed down by the small tribes of these brutish giant humanoids, ensuring Troggles are a lonely breed with very few Troggle-only settlements, usually in the vicinity of the liberated Meat-Camps after the past Evil Empires were lost to war and the ravages of time.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Rarely hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meatballs, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted unicorns and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Velociraptor===
Most think these little dinosaurs have little enough meat on them to be worth the hunt, but they miss out on one of the best possible meals! The reptiles can be easily plucked and skinned and have a slightly more gamey texture than turkey, and roast up beautifully when stuffed with herbs, lemon, and butter. In some jungles communities a feast of several of these birdlike dinosaurs is a yearly and much revered tradition.

===Wolf-in-Sheep's-Clothing===
Whilst the corpse of a small animal it uses as a lure on top of the stump body tends to be somewhat fresh, the fact it's full of filaments for controlling its movement tends to make the meat full of splinters. The wood of the main plant-creature, however, can be used as fuel for cooking other meats and is known for adding a good smoky flavor to meat cooked over it.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened to the "spam of the dwarves" given how inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of its texture.

===Wyvern===
Wyvern meat tastes like sour, spicy chicken, although the meat is risky to eat, as if the poisonous breath organ of the wyvern is burst during slaying it, it could potentially internally spread into the creature's bloodstream and render the meat riddled with the poison which, whilst the wyvern itself is immune to, could poison any race consuming the meat without poison resistance or immunity. As such, having a spell or potion of cure poison on hand whilst consuming wyvern meat is advised.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off-putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to their similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Magic: The Gathering

2022-09-19T03:48:16Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:4D2A:F65C:6AAF:A507: /* The 40K Connection */

[[Image:2018 mtg logo 2.png|center|300px]]
[[Image:Richard Garfield.jpg|thumb|Dr. Richard Garfield, the creator and patron saint of Magic: The Gathering. He's 2/2, so he's either as strong as pack of [[Bear_cavalry|Grizzly Bears]] and could [[Awesome|fistfight them to death.]] or he could be killed by [[FAIL|two squirrels]]]]
{{topquote|[[/tg/]] is [[fail|bad at]] Magic.|/tg/}}

'''''Magic: The Gathering''''' (also known as '''''Magic''''' or '''MTG''') is a collectible card game created by [[Richard Garfield]], and introduced to [[neckbeards]] everywhere in 1993. Despite the amount of [[Rage|RAGE]] the game has created over the years, it's still going strong. The game is currently in its 29th year of production with a large competitive following, consisting mostly of 40-year-old basement dwellers. Magic, [[Pokemon]], and [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] make up the three pillars of the paper market, being the three games that generate the most revenue today. Magic is notable for being the first [[Card Games|CCG]] of all time, granddaddy of all [[Card Games]], and its influence can be seen in almost every CCG since. It also has fucktons of fluff that is surprisingly fucking intricate and deep.

==Pre-Mending Story==
[[First Magic Sets|Originally,]] the game really had no story, except that the two players represented wizards who were beating the shit out of each other for control of a ''plane'', which is fantasy-speak for an entire universe within a multiverse called Dominia, where you would sometimes find a world full of angels or [[Arabian Nights|a copypasta of what white people think the Middle East was like once upon a time.]] Within a few months of the game's release, the "Antiquites" expansion set was released, depicting the story of a war between two brothers, Urza and Mishra, and introducing Phyrexia as <s>bootleg Apokolips</s> a cosmic antagonist manipulating things from the shadows. This kicked off an extremely long and convoluted plotline that was supposed to officially end with the "Apocalypse" expansion pack, but which WotC keeps dredging up and continuing because they haven't had a good, original idea since the Rath cycle. There have been a few side-plots along the way, but nobody really ever gave a shit about them because they sucked. The game was also broken as fuck as even back then R&D had no idea what the fuck they were doing; most decks consisted of a combination of [[Power Nine|Black Lotus]], Channel and Fireball for plenty of turn 1 kills, cards were wordy as fuck and the art was between trippy and butt ugly.

===The Urza/Weatherlight/Rath/Phyrexia Saga===
The beginning of this story is depicted in the prequel novel "The Thran". In this novel, a bunch of people (the eponymous Thran) are becoming sick and they have no idea why. Yawgmoth, a healer, eventually figures out that it's because they're wearing radioactive jewelry. He develops a crush on a girl, but she friendzones him, so he decides to surgically implant tons of radioactive jewelry into her boyfriend. The story ends with the Thran getting sick of his shit and banishing him to an empty plane, Phyrexia, where he sets up shop and starts using his knowledge of radioactive jewelry to start building an army of greasy steampunk zombies.

Fast-forward a few thousand years, to the events of the novel "The Brothers' War". Two young brothers, Urza and Mishra, go exploring in the Caves of Koilos and find a couple of magic rocks, the Mightstone and the Meekstone. Urza keeps the Mightstone and Mishra gets the Meekstone. Because the mightstone is bigger and better, Mishra spends most of his life suffering from Magic Stone Envy. Fast-forward maybe another 20 years. In a clever ripoff of "The Princess and the Pea", a king decides that he will only allow his daughter to marry a man who can lift a huge-ass piece of rock that no one can actually lift. [[That Guy|Urza shows up and builds a humongous mecha that easily moves the rock.]] The king decides that this is good enough and lets them marry. However, the marriage is a disaster because it turns out that building humongous mecha and maintaining romantic relationships are two extremely different skill sets. Blah blah blah, war breaks out between the two brothers, entire continents are pillaged and despoiled as a result of the war, and Urza eventually wins by nuking half of the goddamn planet with a plot device called a Golgothian Sylex. The Sylex Blast turned Urza into a Planeswalker, guaranteeing that he'd continue to fuck up the entire multiverse with his drama for eons to come.
[[File:Teferi.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Print 'phasing' again, I dare you.]]
The ensuing nuclear winter was depicted in the expansion packs "The Dark", "Fallen Empires", "Ice Age", and "Alliances". Nobody really knows or cares about this part of the story, because they aren't about the Almighty Urza Christ, Peace Be Unto Him. Urza's adventures during this time are depicted in the novel "Planeswalker", where he decides to wage a one-man war against the Phyrexians, who he blames for turning Mishra into a robot. He starts by launching a LITERAL one-man attack against Phyrexia, where he gets ROFLPWN3D but manages to pick up a sexy female Phyrexian sidekick named Xantcha. Realizing that the successful destruction of Phyrexia would require him to be less of a dick and learn how to make allies, the two of them go to places like Shiv, Tolaria, and Serra's realm, which never ends well for the inhabitants of those places because the Phyrexians are constantly following him and fucking up everything everywhere he goes. He also taught some students, Teferi and Jhoira, who get busy finding entirely new ways to fuck shit up with time travel. He eventually decides that the key to victory will be to make a bunch of extremely powerful plot devices, which he calls the "Legacy Weapon", whose actual functions and purposes would be decided by whichever unfortunate authors got stuck with writing the end of this story. Some components of the Legacy included the flying ship ''Weatherlight'' and the silver golem ''Karn''. He also bred an army of super-soldiers that he called the Metathran. These events are depicted in the novels "Time Streams" and "Bloodlines"

Eventually, the Weatherlight came to be crewed by a bunch of people who basically had no clue who Urza or the Phyrexians were, or what the Legacy was, or really anything that was mentioned in the above paragraph, because all of that shit was made up retroactively. In the anthology book "Rath and Storm", Sisay, the hot black chick who somehow became the Weatherlight's captain despite knowing nothing about it, has been kidnapped, and the rest of the crew, led by Gerrard Capashen, must hop from continent to continent, looking for clues to her whereabouts and picking up random hitch-hikers as they go, often for little or no reason. They track her down to the plane of ''Rath'', where everything from the merfolk to the weather is [[Grimdark|Darker and Edgier]]. Some shit happens, they succeed in rescuing Sisay, and they also "rescue" someone who they THINK is Takara, daughter of Starke, a double-dealing backstabber that they allowed to come aboard because good is dumb. During their escape, however, they end up leaving two crew members behind: Crovax and Ertai.

The next three books and expansion packs, collectively called the "Masquerade Cycle", all take place during the same time frame but in different locations. "Mercadian Masques" follows the crew of the Weatherlight, who find themselves in an unknown plane called Mercadia, and who must figure out how to get back to their home plane, Dominaria (not to be confused with Dominia). This is also where "Takara" is, in fact, revealed to be Volrath, the Evincar of Rath, who manages to do absolutely nothing of importance in Mercadia and must find a way back to Rath. "Nemesis" follows the adventures of Crovax and Ertai after they are left behind. To make a long story short, they both turn to the dark side, and Crovax is appointed the new Evincar of Rath by Ertai's hot new Phyrexian girlfriend, Belbe, who dies immediately afterward. Volrath is also executed upon his return. "Prophecy", the third book and expansion pack in the cycle, was about overpriced cards that totally fucking sucked and a story that no one gave a shit about because it had nothing to do with anything else that was happening at the time, and can be safely ignored.

The Invasion cycle - Invasion, Planeshift, and Apocalypse - depicted the long-awaited Phyrexian invasion of Dominaria. Urza, the Weatherlight crew, the Elder Dragon Legends, [[over 9000]] different kinds of Kavu, and everyone else came together to fight back against the endless army of greasy steampunk zombies. This resulted in the deaths of most major characters, the destruction of Phyrexia, and the transformation of Karn into a Planeswalker.

===Post-Weatherlight Blocks===
After that came the Odyssey and Onslaught cycles, which took place on Dominaria 200 years after the Phyrexian invasion. These stories sucked ass and depicted no events of major importance, except for the Mirari, which was Karn's <s>bootleg One Ring</s> space probe that became retroactively important in a weak attempt at continuity, and the resurrection of the Slivers, a creature type from the Rath cycle that had proven insanely popular.

Then came a strange phase in MtG history, where WotC would alternate between unsuccessful attempts to dredge up the past and unsuccessful attempts to create new planes and stories that were worth giving a fuck about. [[Kamigawa]] block deserves a special shout-out here, as it didn't sell worth shit because it was a low-power block sandwiched between two blocks of solid [[cheese]]. There's also a very, very small chance of ever coming back here according to an article written by Mark Rosewater titled "Rabiah Scale Part 1", where he explains that while Kamigawa is the least popular plane, there is a very vocal minority that loves it.

Dominaria was revisited in "Time Spiral" when WotC, realizing that something was amiss, decided that the only way they could get people to care about the story again was to bring back the old Weatherlight crew, which in turn required time travel. The "Time Spiral" cycle also gave WotC an excuse to bring back Slivers AGAIN. Then came "Scars of Mirrodin", which took a formerly original plane and storyline and shoehorned the Dominaria/Phyrexia storyline into it. This was about the point where the "Mending" happened, which changed the fluff of the story and marked a major change in storytelling since Wizards acknowledged that Time Spiral didn't actually make people start caring about the story again.

==Post-Mending Story==
You are a [[Planeswalker]], a [[wizard]] with near-limitless potential. One out of one million intelligent lifeforms carry the potential of becoming a Planeswalker, called the Spark. The vast majority of those live out their lives without even knowing of their potential. But a very small number of those, again one out of a million becomes far more. After a traumatizing experience or a moment of supreme clarity the Spark ignites, giving the being power beyond nearly anything in the Multiverse.

A Planeswalker has several abilities. First they can travel between the Planes of the Multiverse through the [[Blind Eternities]], the space between Planes in which they drift. Second they have great skill with channeling and using mana to cast spells and summon creatures. The Planeswalkers of old could do even more: they were gestalt forms of will, and could shapechange into anything they want. This also rendered them near indestructible, with their forms being easily replaceable. They were also nigh-immortal, the only thing posing a serious threat to a Planeswalker was another Planeswalker.

The old Planeswalkers were akin to gods, and continued to be so until roughly 4,000 years after the ascension of [[Urza]]. [[Dominaria]], the Nexus of the Multiverse had become something of a shithole because of various aforementioned plotlines having royally screwed up the plane and rifts in time began to appear. After the sacrifices of many Planeswalkers these rifts were sealed in [[The Mending|the Mending]], an event that changed Planeswalkers for good. No longer gods amongst mortals, they were reduced to the power of mortal casters. They also lost their shapechanging and immortality, something that vexed many surviving Planeswalkers. Some like [[Nicol Bolas]] fought with tooth and nail to reobtain their powers, some like [[Liliana Vess]] made pacts with powerful creatures to be more powerful, and some like [[Sorin Markov]] accepted their loss. Then again Sorin's a vampire and so is naturally damn near immortal anyway, so his loss was rather less significant than others.

This era has eight blocks:

*[[Lorwyn|Lorwyn/Shadowmoor]], a plane that turns from bright upbeat British fairy-tale with facist [[Elf|Elves]] to a grim and gloomy spirit world filled with all sorts of nasties. This is the block that switched faeries from joke theme deck to [[Bees|BEEEEEES!!!]] in legacy play; even ten years later four Bitterblossoms with some removal is still a solid modern deck in the $300 or less range.
*The [[Alara]] block details the attempt of [[Nicol Bolas]] to slam five parts of a fractured plane together and feast on the released energy to make himself a god again: the slamming is a success but he fails when he is beaten by [[Ajani Goldmane|that damn cat]].
*[[Zendikar]] is Australia on steroids and [[Call of Cthulhu]]; everything can and will try to kill you. On this world rested the [[Eldrazi]], a race of non-beings that can unmake anything with a touch. Freed by the machinations of, once again, Nicol Bolas. They are fighting [[Gideon Jura]] who beat one to death with his bare hands.
*Scars of Mirrodin returns to, wait for it, Mirrodin, which is conquered and compleated by Phyrexia. Whoops. They currently have a spy amongst their ranks; [[Tezzeret]], who was sent there by, you guessed it, Nicol Bolas.
*[[Innistrad]] is a world of East-European gothic horror where [[vampire]]s and [[werewolf|werewolves]] run business. It is one of the best sets ever with stuff like double-faced cards, monsters that get stronger when they die and awesome flavor. At the end of the block the Helvault, a prison for lots of demons, was destroyed. Releasing its contents. This was done by... no not Nicol Bolas. Not this time. It was [[Liliana Vess]], who wanted to kill a demon, Griselbrand, that was trapped inside to get out of a faustian bargain she made with him. Incidentally (as far as Liliana Vess is concerned), this world was going to shit because the angel Avacyn was trapped inside the Helvault too and she was released along side the demons.
*Then there is a Return to Ravnica, where the Guilds have picked up business once again for the time being, eventually they run a world-wide maze to see who gets to take control of the city. Jace Beleran wins by becoming the guildpact (I'm as confused as you).
*Next is Theros with the awesome flavor of Innistrad but with Greek mythology and awesome mechanics to represent it. Oh and [[Creed|Elspeth]] is there.
*The last block before the paradigm shift (see below) is Tarkir, an Asian-inspired plane which divides Persians, Shaolin Monks, the Mongols, and Siberians into several clans, each with their respective Khans leading them. Then [[Sarkhan Vol]] fucks it all up with time travel courtesy of [[Ugin]], leading to an alternate timeline where the dragons of the plane never went extinct, with new Dragonlords leading the clans and ruling over the humans.

This era also set off a new wave of core sets: after every Block was new core set with a year in it, staring in Magic 2010 to Magic Origins (released July 2015) and adding a few new cards every series. This era also introduced Planeswalkers as cards: a new permanent type that functions as a crossover between a player, a legendary creature and an enchantment. The game currently takes place in that era, where Planeswalkers have begun to rise in large numbers with the Multiverse's infinite secrets and powers at their feet. Here you decide what you will be.

===The Two-Block Paradigm===
This system officially started in Battle for Zendikar. How to deal with the 3rd set in a block had long been a thorn in the side of Magic R&D. To fix this they decided to simply stop making 3 set blocks. Core sets would no longer be released and a Block would consist of 2 sets. Usually the first set would be large and the second set small. There would be 2 blocks per year (those years being October-September). Of course, draft structure will be different as well.

Also there is a big shift in story telling. The creative team actually knows what is going to happen quite a bit in advance (compared to before this shift) which, should provide us benefits like better foreshadowing and less [[Retcon|retcons.]] Each set contains five official (although in practice, probably more unofficial) cards that show events in the story deemed important. The official ones are called "spotlight cards" and can be identified by the planeswalker symbol watermark. The story will be across multiple platforms such as cards in the set, Uncharted Realms, Duels of the Planeswalkers, ect... Each block is still on a different plane than the blocks surrounding it, which of course means the creative team is building an average of 2 worlds per year (arguably less so in the cases when returning to a mtg world we've been to before). (Consider that the people who made [[Avatar]] spent five years building that one setting. This can't [[Not as planned|possibly end badly]].)[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTpv4ZGZ8K8][https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEWQ019LvYw][http://magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/mm/metamorphosis].

There have been some growing pains and because WotC works so far in advance, it takes a while before we get the benefits of the lessons learned applying to Magic players (unless the lesson is to ban cards, in which case, if WotC is correct, Magic players as a whole are getting the better of 2 bad options). So don't be surprised if Standard for the next few sets will suck [http://magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/latest-developments/standard-2017-01-13] (as defined by it being bad, or it being okay, but only because WotC banned some cards, hurting players that bought a playset of those cards).

As if to make it hurt more, lately there has been tons of mistakes being made including but not limited to:

* Not testing whether a set with Dual Lands and lands that can search for them will lead to four color decks (breaking the point of having you chose between so many colors)
* Shorting (then increasing) the time a set rotates out, which has Battle for Zendikar be still in rotation for much more then it should have been in, while having the set after be taken out for a much shorter time.
* Having to ban four card in short succession, not because of how generally overpowered they were like the bans of old, but instead because they never printed any good answers to them.
* Missing an infinite combo, which dominated standard until it was banned.

Most of the story thus-far involves [[The Gatewatch]], a group a Planeswalkers who have taken [http://magiccards.info/query?q=oath+of+t%3A%22legendary+enchantment%22&v=scan&s=cname oaths] to keep the multiverse safe from existential threats. Nobody likes them and they got pimp slapped by Nicol Bolas.

===The Three and One Model===
Whoops, turns out removing the primary source of deck staples and support cards was a bad idea after all. The block concept is out the door under this model, with a core set in the summer and three large sets in the fall, winter, and spring that will each be drafted separately. The first large set under the new model dropped in the spring of 2018 and [[Awesome|returned to Dominaria,]] while the first new core set was released in the summer of 2018. The "new plane every block" policy is also gone, as is the idea of having a "Masterpiece Series" (aka literal cardboard lottery) with every block; Wizards is going to be making the game stay on each plane exactly as long as they feel like, and only releasing lottery rares when they "have something amazing." So probably still every other set to prop up box sales. The Fall set was titled Guilds of Ravnica, in which we returned to [[Ravnica | Ravnica]]. Following up on this was Ravnica Allegiance and the final set of the block, War of the Spark will launch in the Spring. Note that War of the Spark has been described as being "about Ravnica, but not about the guilds." According to recent news, it is going to be a very Planeswalker heavy set, with 36 different Planeswalkers in the set, some of which are getting their first Planeswalker cards here! In addition, every single pack of War of the Spark comes with a Planeswalker card, similar to Dominaria, which had a Legendary in every pack. This is great news if you're a fan of the Superfriends deck archetype, but worrying for everyone else. Based on the results of Mark Rosewater's twitter poll, you shouldn't be too surprised to see non-evergreen, non-deciduous carry over from one world to the next (although based on the comments to that poll, they might use such freedom sparingly) [https://twitter.com/maro254/status/973550597331824641]. But because WotC works so far in the future, we probably won't see them do that for a while.

Read the announcement here: http://magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/making-magic/metamorphosis-2-0-2017-06-12

With the end of the "Masters" series of products, WoTC has introduced a new supplemental set, called Modern Horizons, releasing in the Summer. Like the name implies, the set is made for the Modern Format, completely skipping Standard rotation and featuring mostly completely brand new cards, with no reprints from the current Modern format. The cards that aren't new are upshifted from Legacy. If you are a Modern player, you have reasons to be excited and worried, as the lack of reprints means that rare and powerful cards like [[Liliana Vess|Liliana of the Veil]] will continue to grow in price as the supply continues to dwindle. However, with brand new cards coming out, you might not need Liliana of the Veil anymore, depending on how much they power up the set. Either way, investors and players alike look onward to what spoiler season brings us.

===Post-War Schedule===
Having wrapped up the biggest meta-plot in recent Magic history, WoTC decided to ease off the pedal a bit. There's currently no overarching metaplot, and the following sets are dedicated to returning characters and generally just playing tourist, like the old days. One plane per set until the metaplot kicks up again. Following Core Set 2020, Magic released Throne of [[Eldraine]], a fairy tale-inspired set that saw the return of [[Garruk Wildspeaker]]. It also introduced Oko, the shapeshifting Korean pop-star Planeswalker that [[butthurt|tore Standard, Pioneer, Historic and Modern a new one]] and is currently contained in Vintage and Legacy.

After ''Throne'' is ''Theros: Beyond Death''. If you couldn't guess from the subtitle, it is heavily implied that [[Elspeth Tirel]] is coming back, and was confirmed through marketing material and card leaks. Following that is a new plane simply named Ikoria: The Lair of Behemoths. We don't know much about it, but Ikoria was hinted to have been inspired by Japanese kaiju films and features "the craziest mechanic ever seen in Magic" in the form of custom monster building. After Core Set 2021 (nicknamed the Teferi set, much like how 2020 was the [[Chandra]] set) is Zendikar Rising, mostly because the last time we went it was basically just a glorified advertisement for the [[Gatewatch]].

And now we have information on what will be coming in 2021: Five sets (names not final)

''Kaldheim'': The long-teased Viking set/plane.

''Strixhaven: School of Mages'': Set in a multiuniversally-famous [[Harry Potter|magic university, with five colleges vying for prominence.]]

''Dungeons & Dragons: Adventures in the Forgotten Realms'': Yes, you read that right. Yes, it IS Standard-legal and not a silver-boarder joke/what-if set. And, yes, WotC MAY be jumping the Shark Typhoon on this one. Turns out the Ravnica and Theros setting books were only a prelude to the inverse of Magic visiting Faerûn. How the hell they're going to get these two settings to mesh together is currently unknown.

''Innistrad: Werewolves'' & ''Innistrad: Vampires'': Return to Return to Innistrad using a similar framework to ''Guilds'' and ''Allegiances'' with each faction getting a set to itself. Like ''Zendikar Rising'', it'll all be our first real glimpse at a [[Ravenloft|post-Eldrazi Innistrad]].

===The Hypothetical Future?===
''Note: This section is pretty much just glorified fan conjecture based on observations.''
Every month or so, WoTC puts out a survey on their various social media channels to field the area on opinions on Magic. Usually, the survey has some generic questions about what is important to you as a Magic player. This is often paired with questions about the performance of the most recent set. This is normally not noticeable and usually has little impact due to how vague the questions tend to be. However, the November survey was the most oddly specific survey fielded by WoTC to date. Nicknamed the "Hypothetical Futures" survey, it asked players about a wide variety of questions regarding what may come in the future. Many of the questions asked players about their favorite Planes (Kamigawa was on the list), what makes that Plane your favorite, favorite Planeswalkers, speculative mechanics, favorite Anime/Manga, things like that. One of the most interesting questions asked a bevy of smaller questions about "How appropriate are the following elements for Magic?" which was almost completely filled with Sci-Fi tropes. AI, robots, drones, hacking, lasers, artificial limbs, megacorps, spaceships and more! This hints at a possible future set that is less fantasy and more sci-fi, a la [[Android: Netrunner]] (which WoTC owns). Obviously this is just speculation, and we won't have confirmation if they ever act on it until they do.

'''Update''' A couple of months ago, there was [https://imgur.com/gallery/ubTItUv| another survey] which was directly pointed at [[Kamigawa]], showing several Planeswalkers and their descriptions from the plane. If you take a look through the album, you notice that it paints a much, much different version of Kamigawa; neon lights, crime syndicates, and laser-katanas. They not-so-subtly also added a question asking what the name of a hypothetical set based in a far-future version of Kamigawa should be, ranging from "Neo-Kamigawa" to "Destiny of Kamigawa." Two days from the time of writing, WoTC registered several new domain names through their usual channels in preparation. From this, we know the name of the future Kamigawa set: '''[[Shadowrun|Kamigawa: Neon Dynasty]].'''

==Rules==
Each player starts with a life total of 20, it is the goal of the game to reduce your opponent's life to 0 or less. Occasionally a player's goal will involve winning through some other win condition (i.e. making the opponent draw when no cards remain in their library, give the opponent 10 or more poison counters, [http://mtgsalvation.gamepedia.com/Alternate-win_card card specific win conditions], or dealing commander damage). Each player takes a turn until only one player is left in the game. There have been many revisions to the rules since the game's release [[skub | with mixed reactions from fans,]] but the general gist is the same.

===Game expressions===

*'''[[Mana]]''' - Mana is the magical resource of the game, it is what you commonly use to play cards. Mana you have drawn from a source is kept in your '''mana pool''', waiting for you to spend it. However, at the end of each phase and each step in a turn, your mana pool is emptied, so there's no saving up by constantly draining your lands. There used to be a rule called Mana Burn, in which if you didn't use all the mana you had in your mana pool you would take damage, loosing 1 life for each unspent mana. It did a few good things, like give [[Legends#Mana_Drain|Mana Drain]] a draw back, but ultimately R&D decided Magic was better off without it.
*'''Spell''' - Spells are any card that is currently on the stack.
*'''The Stack''' - This, children, is where [https://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtgcom/feature/362#splitsecond almost] all the real bullshit occurs. The stack is where almost any effect other than those that produce mana go to wait to '''resolve'''. whenever an effect (such as playing a card, activating an ability of an artifact or creature, etc.) goes on the stack, all the players in the game receive '''priority''' in turn order to respond. When a player has priority, no other player can act. When something is on the stack, only effects that are played at instant speed may be added to the stack, such as other abilities or instants themselves. You never have to put anything on the stack when you have priority, it just gives you the ability to respond to another players move if you choose. Effects on the stack resolve from the one to be put on last resolving first, this means that whenever you respond to your opponents move with, your response will always take effect before his move. <br> For example if your opponent casts a spell to destroy one of your creatures in play, and you have the appropriate amount of mana to play a counter spell, you can tap your lands and add your counter spell to the stack, targeting your opponents destruction spell. When the stack resolves, your counter spell will be the last effect on the stack, and as such will resolve first, countering your opponents spell and saving your creature. Note that your opponent also receives priority again when you play the counter spell, meaning that it'll be possible for him to add a new spell to kill your creature after you have played the counter spell, meaning he'll kill your creature anyway. But then again, you'll receive priority again as well, and so on and so on.
*'''Tap''' - Tapping is the act of turning a card 90 degrees, this is done to indicate that the card has been exhausted. You tap a land when you draw mana from it, you tap a creature to attack with it, and many abilities of creatures or artifacts require that you tap the card as well. Wizards of the Coast owns a patent on this mechanic, and they used it to run most other CCGs out of business. That is why ''[[Legend of the Five Rings]]'' used to cause players to lose honor every time they accidentally said "tap" instead of "bow."
*'''Ability''' - Abilities are found in a permanent's text field. Abilities can be either activated or triggered abilities. An activated ability is noted for having a cost followed by a colon followed by the effect of the ability. For example, "''Tap<nowiki> : </nowiki>Draw a card, then discard a card .''" Triggered abilities however, will be added to the stack whenever a certain condition is met, for example "''Whenever you gain 1 life, draw a card''". A triggered ability can be triggered as many times as the condition for it is met, and an activated ability can be activated as many times as you can possibly pay the cost.
*'''Hand''' - No, not that hand, stupid. Your hand of cards. You can normally only have 7 cards in your hand when your turn ends (any more than that are usually discarded), and your hand of cards is kept so your opponent can't see it. You start the game with a hand of 7 cards, and you draw 1 card each turn, there are cards that let you draw more cards however.
*'''Library''' - You library is your deck of cards, it must contain no less than 60 cards, and it is often ideal to not include more than 60 cards either. It also may not contain more than four copies of the same card, exempting the basic land cards (Plains, Forests, Mountains, Islands or Swamps). If you are asked to draw a card and you cannot because there are no more cards left in your library, you lose the game (or win, if you have Laboratory Maniac out), just as if you had hit 0 life.
*'''Graveyard''' - This is where used sorceries, instants and destroyed cards go. Some cards are able to return cards from here, but normally they just stay dead. This is a place of magic and wonder for any deck that runs revive. Until someone plays Samurai of the Pale Curtain...
*'''Exile''' - A super duper Special Snowflake Graveyard where things that aren't intended to ever be returned go. Used to be called "Removed from the Game", it was created so that you couldn't use a Resurrection sorcery on something you used Swords to Plowshares on. Naturally things got stupid when WotC started making cards that could bring cards back from exile.

===Structure of a turn===
The first step in a turn is the '''untap step''', here all the cards in play that are tapped are untapped. The next step is your '''upkeep''', nothing happens here by default, it is only in place for some cards to trigger different effects at the start of your turn.

After your upkeep is your '''draw step''', here you simply draw a card from the top of your library.

Next is your first main phase, here you can play any spells that are played at sorcery speed, this is things such as artifacts, creatures, enchantments, planeswalkers, land (lands are weird, playing them doesn't use the stack and as such can't be responded to, so one could make the case that in some ways they are faster than instants, also lands can NEVER be "PLAYED" when it is not your turn where as other things considered sorcery speed can be instant speed through things like Flash). and sorceries themselves.

After your first main phase is your combat phase, this is broken up into several subphases itself. The first thing to happen is that you declare any creatures you want to '''attack''' to attack by tapping them, you opponent is then given the choice of '''blocking''' your creatures. Only an untapped creature can block, and a creature can only participate in one block each combat. However, several creatures can be picked to block the same creature at once, meaning that it is possible to 'gang up' on attackers in order to kill them. When creatures are in combat with each other they will deal each other damage at the same time, meaning that two 1/1's will kill each other at the same time. In the case of multiple creatures blocking one creature, the attacker assigns the damage that his creature would deal out to the blocking creatures as he wishes, for example a 2/2 blocked by two 1/1's could deal 1 damage to both creatures and kill them both.

Any unblocked creatures will deal their damage to the opponent.

Once all damage has been assigned, the '''clean up''' step follows, where all creatures that have taken lethal damage will be sent to their owner's graveyards.

After combat you have your second main phase, where you can do exactly the same as in the first.

After the second main phase, you have the end of turn step, pretty much the same deal as with the upkeep, nothing really happens here unless a card says so. Lastly, after your end of turn step, you discard down to the maximum hand size if you have exceeded it, so if you for example have 9 cards in hand, you will have to discard 2 of them to meet the required of 7.

===Types of cards===
The game of Magic contains several different '''supertypes''' of cards:

*'''Lands''' - Lands are the player's most basic resource and they are tapped to allow the player to play their other cards that have a '''mana cost'''. You can normally play only one land from your hand per turn. [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?printed=true&multiverseid=45491 Example of a non-basic Land card.]
**'''Basic''' - A supertype currently found only on land cards. There are formerly five, now six basic lands: Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest and (the only addition) Wastes. A deck can contain any number of the same basic card. [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?printed=true&multiverseid=983 Example of a basic Land card.]
*'''Creatures''' - Creatures are the players soldiers and guardians, they primarily participate in combat, although as with all things in Magic, there are many exceptions this. Creatures have many '''subtypes''', these are commonly referred to as '''creature types''', most creatures have a race and a profession creature type, for example "''Creature - Human Warrior''". Creatures have a toughness and a power score, portrayed as P/T on the bottom right corner of the card. Power determines the amount of damage the creature can cause in combat whereas toughness is how much damage it can take before it is destroyed. Damage assigned to a creature is cleared at the end of each turn, meaning that if a creature isn't killed by the amount of damage it has sustained, it'll return to its full toughness at the end of the turn. This means that the same creature will often participate in several combat steps before it is finally killed. Damage assigned to players however, is never healed by any other means than other cards that give the player an amount of life upon being played. [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=129586 Example of a Creature card.]
*'''Enchantments''' - These are raw magic that you create, they can do all different kinds of things, and generally have a constant effect on the game, until they are destroyed by your opponent. There are global and local variants of enchantments, the local being a subtype called '''auras''', these are attached to other cards in play to enhance them or weaken them. A lot of competitive players dislike auras since they are destroyed if their 'host' is destroyed, meaning that it is easier for your opponent to make a lot of you cards obsolete by destroying one card. [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=129572 Example of a positive Enchantment card.] [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?printed=true&multiverseid=50233 Example of a harmful Enchantment card]
*'''Sorceries''' - Sorceries are spells that you can only cast on your own turn, and when nothing is on the stack, they'll have some kind of immediate effect on the game, but they are not persistent like enchantments. This means that it is common for sorceries to simply just destroy something else in play or to give a temporary boost to a creature or something like that. The more massive destructive effects in the game are commonly found in sorceries, such as globally destroying all lands or creatures in play. [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=129808 Example of a Sorcery card.]
*'''Instants''' - Just like sorceries, however an instant can also be played in an opponent's turn, they'll often do the same as sorceries, but stuff like counter magic, that is a spell that prevents your opponent's spell from resolving, are only instants. [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?printed=true&multiverseid=190535 Example of an Instant card.]
*'''Artifacts''' - All kinds of magic items, like a staff or some other kind of stuff. Normally this is stuff used by the player himself, but some artifacts, known as '''Equipment''', can be equipped by the player's creatures, making them work like auras, only they do not need a 'host' to be in play, and as such are a lot more persistent than auras. Some artifacts are also creatures, this is stuff like golems or other kinds of magical constructs. Artifact are generally colorless, with some exceptions, so almost all of them are suitable for any deck. [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=129704 Example of an Artifact card.] [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=76637 Example of an equipment card.] The most recently added type of artifacts are '''Vehicles'''; vehicles are artifacts that can become artifact creatures for a turn by tapping other creatures. Originally a one-off mechanic in Kaladesh but the concept proved very popular and they now appear whenever appropriate.
*'''Legendary''' - Much like Basic, Legendary only appears together with another supertype. If a player controls two or more legendary permanents with the same name, that player chooses one of them, and the rest are put into their owners' graveyards. Legendary cards are often stuff like characters from the plot line of Magic, or somehow else very special things like specific places in the case of legendary lands. [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=26793 Example of a Legendary card.]
*'''Tribal''' - A newcomer among the supertypes, a Tribal card lets a noncreature card have creature types. For example, a card that would allow you to destroy a goblin card would work on any goblin creature, as well as a Tribal Enchantment - Goblin. Sadly the "Tribal" card type is unlikely to be printed on new cards. [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=146167 Example of a Tribal card.]
*'''[[Planeswalker]]''' - Another newcomer, a Planeswalker is similar to an enchantment. Planeswalkers come into play with a certain amount of loyalty counters on them. Once per turn a planeswalker can use one of its activated abilities during his main phase whenever he may play a sorcery, either adding or subtracting the indicated amount of counters. As of War of the Spark in spring 2019, they can also have static or triggered abilities like other permanents. A planeswalker can be targeted for either spells or abilities that deal damage, and can be targeted in an attack phase like a player. For each damage a planeswalker takes, instead remove that many loyalty counters. If a planeswalker has no loyalty counters left on it, it is destroyed. All planeswalkers are legendary, so if a player controls two planeswalkers that share a name, that player chooses one of them and the rest are put into their owners' graveyards. This was changed from what was called the "planeswalker uniqueness rule", which meant you couldn't have two different cards representing the same dude. Lore-wise this made sense, but has been sacrificed for gameplay reasons. Planeswalkers can do some really awesome shit, such as create 5 4/4 dragons or force your opponent to mill 20 cards from their library. Keeping one alive can be a royal pain in the ass. [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=140222 Example of a Planeswalker card.]

==Colors of Magic==
[[Image:Magic Card Back.jpg|thumb|The back of a Magic card. It features the trademarked pentagram of the colors. The pentagram is set up in such a way that colors that have parts of their philosophies in common ('ally colors') are adjacent to each other, whereas colors that oppose each other ('enemy colors') are positioned opposite of each other.]]
As well as having different types of cards, the game of Magic has five different colors to choose from when building a deck. It is important to have the appropriate type of land for the color of magic that you are playing with, since no basic land except a mountain can produce red mana, which is needed to play red spells. Certain effects are associated with certain colors, and only rarely if ever appear in the others - this is to ensure that the colors feel different to play, and that there is a point of having different colors in the first place. For a more thorough examination of the colors of ''Magic'' and their relationships with each other see [[Color Pie]].

*'''White''' - This is the mostly [[Paladin|goody-two-shoes]] or zealously genocidal, censoring and totalitarian (be it communist, or possibly other types of extreme) of the color pie, white often prevents damage to creatures and restore life to players. It excels with instant, sorceries, and enchantments that get rid off opposing creatures, with one of their main schticks being that they remove creatures from the game rather than sending them to the graveyard. They also have a tendency to have powerful creature-enchantments to buff their creatures or prevent their opponents' creatures from attacking or blocking. It is most notable for having the most non-damage boardwipes in the game. Among its older cards are cards that create life-gain win conditions. It has a general philosophy of having a large amount of small creatures instead of a few big ones. Fitting this, White contains most of the cards that interact positively with equipment, generally by tutoring it. White embodies law, order, community, healing, and light. White is the color most like and yet completely different from Black, both being absolute for entirely different reasons. The symbol for White is a sun. The white lands are plains. White's characters are either heroic and otherwise benevolent individuals such as [[Ajani Goldmane]], [[Elspeth Tirel]] and Commodore Guff, or fanatical assholes like Konda and [[Elesh Norn]].

*'''Blue''' - Blue is the color of logic, thought, observation, prescience, and arcane magic. It is the best color at things like countermagic, drawing cards, and [[Just As Planned|using minor trickery to be a general pain in the butt]]. These things make blue the most effective color when used on its own, and the most hated by other players because blue played right will keep them from doing anything with their counter cards and will never run out of them, and blue players have a tendency to complain when WotC tries to do something to balance the counter spells. Thankfully, blue's creatures tend to the least effective at killing the opponent, in terms of strength and abilities, and blue also lacks the ability to deal with things if it can't counter them. Of course, Blue makes up for that by having the most cards that allow you take control of an opponent's creature (All the colors have some, having the most in the following order: Blue, Red, Black, Green, and White with exactly 1). Blue has many cards that interact with artifacts, and this combines with Blue's weak (at least combat-wise) creatures to encourage it to use artifact creatures, which generally focus on combat. Blue is generally the opposite of Red, similar to reason and emotion, and likewise have elements of each other. Thus, the two will generally make the most scientific and steampunk decks when put together. Blue concerns itself with such things as logic, water, science, knowledge, divination, time, and air. The Blue symbol is a drop of water. The Blue lands are islands. Blue's most foremost Planeswalkers include [[Jace Beleren]], [[Tezzeret]] and [[Bo Levar]].

*'''Black''' - Black is the more diabolical of the colors, in brooding desire for any of the following, not necessarily exclusive of each other: independence in an oppressive world, inordinate wealth, immortality, godhood, control of others, vengeance, veneration of evil, world conquest, by any means. It is the color of self-interest, individuality, moral relativism, and devil's bargains. It often has the ability to emulate other colors to a lesser degree... for a cost. The more powerful black creatures sometimes turn on their player. It also contains lots of abilities that require sacrificing creatures, forcing the opponent to sacrifice creatures, killing opposing creatures, and the best discard abilities. As an intentional weakness, Black lacks any significant artifact or enchantment kill. Black contains such things as sickness, destruction, necromancy, death, murder, blood rituals, assassination, crime, torture, darkness, and [[FATAL|corruption]]. A skull is the symbol for Black. The black lands are swamps. Black is the color most like and yet completely different from White, both being absolute for entirely different reasons. Fitting this, Black and White have many cards that are mirrors of each other, starting from the original set's Black Knight and White Knight. Black has spawned many infamous Planeswalkers such as Leshrac, the Walker of the Night; Tevesh Szat, the Doom of Fools; [[Liliana Vess]] and [[Nicol Bolas]] (well he's actually multi-colored, but the center of his shard is black), the Eternal Serpent and (ex)Lord of the Blind Eternities. In addition, it has a few heroic characters such as [[Sorin Markov]] and Toshiro Umezawa, proving that it is not inherently evil.

*'''Red''' - Red is the color of passion, freedom, and [[rage]], though that last bit's mostly because Magic as a game revolves around conflict. Red contains some of the more self-destructive cards of the colors, but the power of the effects usually make up for it. Many of Red's spells focus on directly damaging the opponent, which players call "burn spells", and in fact it's completely viable to run a Red deck with no creatures and just burn spells. Red is generally the opposite of Blue, similar to emotion and reason, and likewise have elements of each other. Thus, the two generally make the most scientific decks and steampunk decks when put together. The domain of Red is such things as speed, destruction, fire, angry mobs (green and white have a fair and smaller share of these), lightning, dragons, and recklessness. Red's symbol is a ball of fire. The red land is a mountain. Some of Red's most famous Planeswalkers are [[Jaya Ballard]], Lord Windgrace of Urborg and [[Chandra Nalaar]].

*'''Green''' - Green associates itself with [[Druid|nature and the cycle of life]], growth, exploration of the wilds, and brute strength. It usually has the most powerful and straight-forward creatures, which also have the best ratio of power and toughness for the mana cost. Green contains cards that can increase the strength of your creatures, cards that give you more mana more quickly and give you access to the other colors of mana, and cards that let you create and profit from large numbers of small creatures or small numbers of very large creatures. Green is the least common color run on its own because it needs to use small easy to kill creatures to [[get shit done]], but is commonly put in other decks as a side color. The Green symbol is a tree. The green land is a forest. Green's famous Planeswalkers include [[Garruk Wildspeaker]], [[Nissa Revane]], Kristina of the Woods and [[Freyalise]].

*'''Colorless''' - Colourless (Grey) mana is composed of two things: non magic-artificial creations including some robots and laser cannons, and [[Eldrazi|Cthuhloids]]. Mana of any color can be used for colorless mana costs. This is useful to ease the stress of colored mana requirements in multicoloured decks, and making cards that can fit in decks of any color - Artifacts and Artifact Creatures are usually colorless. Instant and Sorcery effects are virtually never colorless with only 8 printed, all from [[Zendikar]]. Artificial creatures cannot become Planeswalkers (but this does not stop them from trying to become them, as Memnarch has demonstrated), but they can inherit or obtain the power somehow: [[Karn]] the silver [[golem]] is as far as known the only one to have done so. The only other colorless planeswalker is [[Ugin]], who's basically Magic Buddha because he's so enlightened that he's transcended the five colors.
**As of Battle for Zendikar, colorless has its own land type, which is Waste, and its own symbol, which is a grey four-pointed star. This specifically-colorless mana is used primarily for the [[Eldrazi]], which are the freaky babies of Cthulu and Galactus. The Eldrazi are so ancient that they precede the planes and color itself. Yeah, that's right, they're older than even the game and fluff itself can even comprehend.

It is possible to build decks that are a mix of more than one color - in fact there are many spells that require anything from two to five different colors of mana to play. It is however not advisable to have more than 3 colours in a single deck unless you know what you are doing, since it'll begin to become a problem to get access to all the different colours of mana you need during play. This means you'll be left with a hand full of cards you can't play, and a table full of lands you have no use for - not a good position to be in. The full extreme of this is to have all five colors in your deck, which is something referred to as [[WUBRG]] (after the letters for each color). Unless (and even when) you know exactly what you're doing and built a deck around the concept, WUBRG is very difficult to play.

==Players==
[[Image:AZNs Magic.jpg|thumb|AZNs playing Magic]]
The developers of Magic have put out their 3 archetypes of players:

*'''Timmy/Tammy''' - The player who just wants to experience something cool, something you can tell stories about. Often it's through casting gigantic creatures and game-changing spells, not caring that they're frequently too expensive to be much good at winning the game. Social gamers or even griefers can also be considered a type of Timmy; after all, the story you're telling doesn't always have to be about the game itself.

*'''Johnny/Jenny''' - A combo player, these are the guys who'll spend days looking through cards to find a [http://magiccards.info/6e/en/89.html bizarre] [http://magiccards.info/mr/en/318.html combo] of cards that makes them [http://magiccards.info/4e/en/16.html win the game] if they can pull it off. They often end up building decks that don't participate in the game itself, and are more oriented on getting their combo into play, turning the game into a sort of solitaire.

*'''Spike''' - The competitive player of the bunch. They'll build decks to win and only play to win, their fun is in winning, and sometimes turn the game into [[Powergamer|an obnoxious competition]], even outside of tournaments. Needless to say, they're highly disliked at social games when they even bother showing up outside of a competitive setting, even when they mean no harm. On the other hand, it also means that their decks are made to work effectively and will win more often than not. That isn't to say Spike will put up with ''everything'' just to win. For example, some Spikes might hate it when only a few strategies are viable, or conversely when too many are viable and it's impossible to prepare against them all.

The three archetypes mix and match, meaning that it is possible to be a Johnny-Timmy player, aiming to make some kind of combo that'll give you a million life and an army of 100/100 creatures or some other kind of stupid nonsense.

Recently, it has come to light that there are 2 more pseudo-archetypes, though these aren't really archetypes proper. The types here are on a separate axis than the aforementioned three. They are as follows:

*'''Vorthos''' - Vorthoi care about [[Fluff|flavour and the story part of the game]]. They'll build a deck that re-enacts the forces Urza rallied to fight the [[Elesh Norn|Phyrexians]]. Fluff is of key importance in the mind of a Vorthos. Stories, [[rule 34|art]], flavor text, and block novels are all things that a Vorthos focuses on. As a result, it can be considered to be a close relative of the Timmy, with the emphasis on "cool things" being replaced by a stronger focus on fluff-accuracy. As a result, their decks tend to vary wildly in their efficacy.

*'''Mel''' - On the opposite side of this spectrum lies Mel. Mels love to deconstruct the rules, and [[Crunch|find out why things tick.]] A Mel will [[Munchkin|base a deck on shit like banding that average players don't pay attention to, or some sub-clause of an obscure part of the comprehensive rules]]. They differ from the typical munchkin in that they love reading the logs and development process of various cards and learning what led to a given rule being changed or the rationale behind said rule change, rather than simply exploiting said rules for its own sake. They're similar to Johnnies/Jennies in their eccentric hacker spirit.

It should be noted that a Vorthos-Mel is probably a philosopher. Spike-Johnnies/-Jennies are sometimes great gaming partners for Johnny-Timmys, since one is a competitive combo user, and the other is a combo user who is in it for fun, and one or both of will either have a lot of respect for the opponents' combo, or be quite irritated that it interrupted theirs. Johnny-/Jenny-Vorthos-Mels will have the most difficult time putting together a deck they can play at all, let alone one that can be viable in a tournament setting, but those that do so find it highly rewarding when they make it work for them.

==Building a Deck==
Alright so you've read this article, looked at a few cards, maybe even gotten yourself a few booster packs or a hand-me-down collection. What now?

The process of deckbuilding can, at first, seem like an extremely difficult one, and in many ways it is. You have possibly hundreds of variables to consider depending on what you're building for and thousands of cards to sort through to find the best ones for the job.

But before you overwhelm yourself, look at what you have in your stuff and find a card you like. It doesn't even have to be a powerful one, just something that catches your eye and gets the gears turning. For this example, we'll use something flashy yet robust, the card Fireball. A classic design and very easy to find, Fireball is a card that can generate truly explosive results and kill your opponent in one shot. Awesome! What now?

Well, let's think of what we want to do here. Let's say in this case we want to use Fireball as our win-condition. For this, we'll need obviously Red Mana to cast it, but also additional Mana to make it lethal. So now we're going to look for things that feed into that concept; making more Mana for a bigger Fireball. This is the process referred to as focusing the deck, and is essential to building a successful one. The more streamlined and tight your focus is, the more of a chance the deck will do what you want it to do. Trying to do too many things at once will leave you lacking in all of them, so it's usually better to have a strong theme to accomplish your Plan A.

So focusing, we need a way to make Mana for our Fireball. Land is of course the most basic way of generating Mana, so we should play more lands to make more Mana! Right? Well perhaps, but by filling up the deck with too much land, we're not going to be drawing any spells. Too little though, and we won't be able to cast the spells that we draw. Finding that balance is another key part of deckbuilding and takes a lot of time to get the right feel for it. In general though, your deck should contain 24 lands, adding in 1 or 2 for a slower deck with big mana threats, and removing 1 to 3 for a faster more aggressive deck.

In this case let's start with 24 lands, and 4 Fireballs. We have 28 cards, so we need 32 more to make a legal deck. Since we want the greatest chance of drawing the cards we need as possible, we won't exceed 60 cards here. In most cases in fact, you should never play more than 60 cards. Every card you add is keeping you one card away from drawing the one you really need. A common mistake for many new players is to just keep piling on cards until they make some 78 card monstrosity, don't do this. Treat 60 as the minimum and maximum for every deck you make, it will make your deck faster and more consistent. So what will we add into those 32 slots?

We have Mana to cast a Fireball that can deal up to 23 damage at once, which is lethal, but would require every land in our deck to do so. Sounds kinda slow, right? So what can we do to speed it up? Since we're playing a Red deck, we should start by looking at the options Red has to generate more Mana. Red has access to a few Ritual cards, which can make mana fairly quickly but only in single shots. This means that to make this path work we'd need a lot of these Rituals, and to get lucky by drawing enough of them to make a lethal Fireball. Not the most efficient option, but it can work! Our other obvious option in Red is Artifacts that generate mana. We can play something as small as a Fire Diamond, or something big like a Gilded Lotus. These also feed into each other, but come with the downside of clogging up our deck when we have enough mana to make a lethal Fireball. So a step in the right direction, since this mana is renewable, but still not quite as fast as what we need. But we're out of options in Red, what now?

Now we look at our other colors, of course! The best place to start is to look at the color wheel on the back of a Magic card. Notice the arrangement of the colors on the wheel. Any color that is adjacent to another on the wheel is "allied" with that color, which is to say that they work well together. Red is allied with Green and Black. Many Black cards let you draw cards or even search your deck for specific ones, which could be helpful for the deck to find the cards it needs when it needs them, but since Green has some of that too now and since Black is more about making little aggressive dudes, killing things, bringing things back from the dead and giant demons, let's skip it and look at Green.

Green is the color of nature, and as such has cards that revolve around the generation of mana. Perfect for our goal, and once you start looking you'll notice that green has a ton of cards that are dedicated to making more mana. They come in two flavors; abilities that put mana in the pool, and cards that pull lands from the deck itself. But which flavor do we need? In this case, the ones that pull lands from the deck itself are the ones that we want. This is because they thin our deck out, eliminating lands and reducing our chances at not being able to draw spells. Afterall, what good is having tons of mana if you have nothing to cast with it? Some common options in this slot are Rampant Growth and Cultivate, so we'll add 4 of each to the deck.

Now we have 4 Fireballs, 4 Rampant Growths, 4 Cultivates, and 24 lands. We have 36 cards and need 24 more. Since we still have space, we can add some of those cards that add mana to our pool. Elves tend to be very, very good at this, so we can rock a tribal theme with these guys to generate a lot of mana very quickly. Llanowar Elves, Elvish Mystics, and Elvish Archdruid are easy to find solid slots in this section. With 4 of each in play at once we can generate a potential 4+4+(16x4) mana per turn. Quite lethal for casting a Fireball. So let's add 4 of each!

Now we have 4 Fireballs, 4 Rampant Growths, 4 Cultivates, 4 Llanowar Elves, 4 Elvish Mystics, 4 Elvish Archdruids, and 24 lands. We have 52 cards and need 8 more. Wow, that was fast, suddenly we have only 8 spaces left! This is where we add the extra utility stuff to get our deck fully streamlined, and since we absolutely need to draw our Fireballs to win, we should add spells that draw cards. Sadly this is neither Green nor Red's strong suit, but we do have a few choices.

Since we're already ramping lands out of the deck, we might not need a powerful draw engine anyway. A solid option in Green for straight card draw is Harmonize, but it clocks in at 4 mana. If we get a good start, this is nothing though, so we can rock 4 of these guys with not too much worry. Now we have 4 slots left, so how do we top it off? Well, we do have a lot of Elves, why not add in Elvish Visionary? 4 of her gets us to 60!

Now you have a deck that is streamlined to win off Fireball, but can also win by playing a ton of Elves and beating face! A Plan A that just so happens to have a solid Plan B! By playing with the deck you'll probably start to find it could use some fine tuning to beat what you play against, but what matters here is that we have a solid foundation to build from. When making tweaks, be sure to keep the central idea of the deck in mind. And of course, keep practicing making decks and test them to see what works for you.

==Simulators==
Magic has only had two single player video games. One by Microprose which was really nice and, naturally since WotC sucks, is unobtainable (legally) anymore. It uses exclusively the 4th Edition card set, plus a dozen or so "Astral" cards created specifically for the computer game, with mechanics that could never work with paper cards in real life. It's technically called ''Magic: The Gathering'', but '''everyone''' calls it Shandalar after the plane it takes place on. Shandalar (the plane) has since appeared in fluff a few times. There's also a Dreamcast game which isn't bad... if you can read Japanese since it was never translated.

If you don't want to play singleplayer all the time, there is ''Magic: the Gathering Online'', which is the "official" way of playing Magic online, made back in 2002. It's survived all the way until today thanks to the expansive set selection and differing formats. However, the burden of continually updating ancient code from the 2000s is, as you can imagine, quite tiring. The game also kind of looks like an eyesore compared to today's standards. While they technically can't completely phase it out because that would cause a massive shitstorm, WoTC has been slowly deemphasizing Magic Online's presence in favor of the shinier, flashier, and all-around better Arena client in recent years.

Wizards of the Coast hired out a bunch of multiplayer-only games called ''Duel of the Planeswalkers 20_''. They're all shit designed to milk you on micro transactions, have limited deck building and most of them are completely obsolete now anyways. This series ended in 2015.

To get at that sweet, sweet Hearthstone money, they made another client called ''Magic Duels: Origins'', notable mostly for the emphasis on story and because the client wouldn't keep being replaced every year like Duels of the Planeswalkers. Despite looking promising, it failed to capture the eyes of fans, and was phased out in 2017. Also there was a bug at launch that allowed players to obtain infinite packs, which certainly didn't help.

Bowed, but not broken, Wizards kept at trying to get at that Digital Card Game money and made ''Magic: the Gathering Arena'', which is their newest and most current client. Perhaps Hasbro was getting tired of Wizards wasting money on failed games, or they just straight-up decided to actually give a shit. Whatever the reason, the client is actually very good for a change. The client is quite generous for a digital card game, and they regularly listen to feedback: something that many developers of other card games can learn to do. Since launch, WoTC has been pushing Arena as the premiere client to play Magic online in your home. Between the construction of an entirely new Esports Tournament Series specifically for Arena, an Arena-only path to the Magic Pro League, and the heavy ad campaign that saw even non-Magic related content creators sponsored to promote the client, WoTC seems confident that Arena will usher in a new age for Digital Magic.

''Small tip: When starting playing with Arena, google for the 'MTGA promo codes'. Wizards are fairly generous with them, so this will allow you to freely kickstart the game to a comfortably playable state.''

Fan-made projects include Forge. It's pretty nifty and, unusually for a fan-made simulator, has some good single player content. Unfortunately the PC version is based in fucking Java. The AI is limited and can be slow with lots of tokens in play.

==The D&D Connection==
When [[Wizards of the Coast]] took the reigns of [[Dungeons & Dragons]] from [[TSR]] and brought out [[Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition]], many held their breath in fear; as WotC had made their /tg/ chops by way of MtG, then surely it was only a matter of time before they started crossing the two games over somehow, right?

...Well, wrong, actually. 3.0 turned into 3.5, and there wasn't so much as a single glimpse of D&Dified Magic content. No [[plane]]s turned into [[campaign setting]]s, no monsters converted, no articles in [[Dragon Magazine]] on using the Color Wheel instead ofthe [[alignment]] grid. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. The doomsayers faded away over years of WotC showing no interest in crossing their properties; not even in [[Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition]], which arguably would have meshed best with the goal of a "MtG Role Playing Game", was any attempt made to cross them over.

And then came [[Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition]], and all that changed. Noting that the separation of the two games was an unofficial habit and not official policy, free online articles called [[Plane Shift]] began to be released, which provided basic setting lore, new PC races, and some monster statblocks for then-new Magic [[Plane]]s, allowing DMs to run their own basic campaigns using those as settings. This came to a head in November 2018, with the release of the ''Guildmaster's Guide to Ravnica'', a full-fledged campaign setting splatbook for [[Ravnica|the titular plane]]. And this seems to have opened the floodgates; a [[Theros]] campaign splat titled ''Mythic Odysseys of Theros'' was scheduled for release on June 2nd 2020, which only opens the door for even more such books to come.

There are also a few D&D references that have made their way to cardboard as well. Unstable gave us [https://scryfall.com/card/und/84/sword-of-dungeons-&-dragons| the Sword of Dungeons and Dragons] which was the first use of a d20 anywhere, even in Un-sets. There is also the [https://scryfall.com/card/m20/222/bag-of-holding| Bag of Holding] from M20. We're getting a whole new set of Forgotten Realms in mid-2021, too.

==The 40K Connection==
In September 2022, Hasbro paired up with [[Games Workshop]] to do a [[Warhammer 40,000]] collaboration as part of their "Universes Beyond" crossover series. According to Warhammer Community previews, it will consist of 4 100-card Commander decks and feature named characters like [[Marneus Calgar]] and [[Be'lakor]]. Since Planeswalking between settings is a thing the Chaos Gods are known for, this is bad news for the realms of Magic.

==See also==
*[[Magic Formats]]
*[[Deck archetype]]
*[[Vampire: The Eternal Struggle]] - Another card game by Richard Garfield.
*[[Magic: the Gathering RPG]] - a [[/tg/]]-made RPG with mechanics based on the game.
*[[M/tg/]]
*[[MaRo]]
*[[Magic: The Gathering Gameplay Principles]]
*[[Space: The Convergence]]

==External Links==
*[http://www.wizards.com/magic/ Official site]<br>
*[http://magic.wizards.com/en/game-info/gameplay/rules-and-formats/rules Rulebooks: basic and comprehensive]
*[http://magiccards.info/ magiccards.info] - A card database.
*[http://mtgsalvation.com/ MTG Salvation] - A Magic fansite.
*[https://www.slightlymagic.net/ Slightly Magic] - Another Magic fansite, this one focuses on [[Video games|vidya adaptations]] of Magic both official and fan-made.
===Retailers===
*[[Local Game Store|Your Friendly Local Game Store]]
*[https://www.abugames.com// ABU Games]
*[http://www.tcgplayer.com/ TCG Player]
*[http://www.cardkingdom.com/ Card Kingdom]
*[http://www.magiccardmarket.eu/ Magic Card Market Europe] - Part of the Europian card market specifically dedicated to MTG, amazingly cheap, just remember to order in the right language

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:SageOwlGorgonFlail.jpg| Yes, in MtG, birds can be equipped with the heads of dead monster girls, it's good stuff.
Image:WeeabooAkroma.jpg| Any character can be cutesified. Angels are extra weak against that kinda thing
Image:AkromaVsAkroma.png| The Legend Rule is kinda silly.
Image:JustWhoTheHellDoYouThinkWeAre.jpg| So MANY RATS!
Image:SleddingOnTheGoon.jpg| No goblin resists the sled!
Image:TrogdorScaresAkromaKinda.jpg| Dragon Shadow works against paragons of Justice.
Image:MtGPenisskeleton.jpg| Black has a bunch of undead teachers who can help you on your quest for ultimate power.
Image:MTGpeniswalker.jpg| Indeed...ultimate power...
Image:OdiousDesuTrow.jpg| How could you hate this guy? He loves his rat.
Image:HedronCrabAndCube.jpg| Blue has crabs.... These crabs are smarter than you might think
Image:Sadcrab.jpg| A hedron crab's life does have sadness every so often.
Image:Artificer Planeswalker by craniifer.jpg| A proper vintage artifact player can pull stuff even against a broken deck.
Image:Headless-y-u-no.jpg
Image:Magic-NOU.jpg
Image:Ancient_Aliens_dies_to_removal.jpg| This summarizes 90% of the posts on Magic forums.
</gallery>

{{Card Games}}
{{MTG-Settings}}
{{Planeswalkers}}

Transhumanism

2022-09-19T03:38:26Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:4D2A:F65C:6AAF:A507:

[[image:CyberLass.jpg|thumb|300px|right| A Sexy Cyborg Girl, benefits of Transhumanism!]]
'''Transhumanism''' (with various substrains with more specific names; [[SJW]]s as H+, ancaps as '''Extropians''', extreme [[Neckbeard]]s as '''rationalists''' is a movement that promotes or at least discusses the enhancement of the human race through science and technology. A transhuman society would have changed itself to the point where it would challenge the standard meaning of "being human" -- removing or changing some of the disadvantages of being human (sub-century lifespan, vulnerable to hostile bacteria) and improving what are the good parts of being human (thinking faster than the speed of chemicals, ceaseless endurance, capable of having an always-on smartphone in your head you can remove or disable at will).

It's usually associated with an anticipated event called ''''the Singularity'''' where artificial intelligence (AI) is made that can design and build smarter AIs, which in turn design and built even smarter AIs, spiralling up until an A.I. with the computing power on the level of a low level D&D deity is "born". It's called 'the Singularity' because the original author said things are going to get so weird so fast there's no way to tell what any human culture will be like after this event, and it will serve as an unobservable "event horizon" just as with astronomical singularities like black holes. Some Transhumanists are convinced this event will usher in an ideal future, and some egotists amongst them will tell you at great length they know exactly what the future will look like post-Singularity. '''tl;dr''' The Singularity is to transhumanists exactly like the End Times is for Islamic loonies.

'''Transhumanism threads''' on /tg/ sometimes get deleted by janitors, because the threads too often turn into pseudo-evangelical hugboxes that have nothing to do with tabletop games. When the [[Eclipse Phase]] RPG was published, the H+ fancreatures rallied as this was a way to cloak their preaching as talking about the game setting and fluff.

Don't confuse transhumanism for cyberpunk. Transhumanism is an ideology about going beyond what nature has given us; Cyberpunk is about a world where advanced technology has failed to stop a dystopian society. They have a lot of overlap but they are not the same genre, cyberpunk corporations are often transhuman but the technology is rarely available to all, and the industries which make some transhuman may well sentence everyone else to live in a crapsack world.

== What Transhumanists want you to know ==
As seen by recent developments (chips in heads that allow remote control of a computer, [http://medgadget.com/archives/2008/03/rewalk_exoskeleton.html robotic exoskeletons that allow the paraplegics to walk] etc), transhumanism is rooted in realistic projections of the development of technology. However, most transhumanists are often criticized for excessive amounts of idealism and enthusiasm, even technological fetishism that doesn't care about the consequences of its actions. The line of debate is usually split between those who believe a human, scientific, involvement in the further evolution of the human race is inevitable and necessary and those retard luddites like Blajbara, the Islamic Apologist moron who first wrote the original, extremely biased version of this page, who finds the idea of changing humanity horrific. Counter-arguments against TH usually run along the lines of "playing god", and present various bad scenarios that could happen; for instance extermination of the human race ala ''Terminator'' or a genetic divide ala ''Gattaca'', although these are incredibly unlikely. Others present Transhumanism as a threat to democracy as the result of said divide... somehow. Transhumanists try to argue against this by claiming their work will prevent the human stupidity that causes most of our problems, but many of them forget that our knack for making new technology is what caused most of those problems in the first place. And that's before you consider that we're not even close to figuring out how we could manage to do half of the shit they're trying to accomplish. Can't exactly give yourself superpowers when you have no clue what most of our genes do, after all.

This disregard for the logistics of gene tampering is viewed as a major weakness. It doesn't take much observation to point out that around ninety percent of its followers are either teenagers trawling 4chan or academics who haven't noticed that having a degree in one subject doesn't make you a master in another unrelated subject, along with a fringe element of retarded /pol/ack neonazis presumably tagging along on the off-chance it gets rid of that pesky untermensch. If transhumanists could sacrifice the rest of the planet to get their immortal robot bodies would they do so? Maybe a few, because there are urban techies who prefer a better possible future to current shithole reality, but there are more likely many more who just want to make life better for everyone. This makes them excellent villains with morally murky goals: rich, resourceful, tough, glamorous, appealing, unique, and ambitious.

One thing of note is the arguable doctrinal difference between the Transhumanists and Singularitans. While there is a great deal of overlap, the two groups at their core can be differentiated by how much they put stock into the more...theological side of the issue. A transhumanist can basically be any person who simply believes in improving natural human characteristics via technology, a singularitan on the other hand is someone who (also) believes that a rapidly evolving AI will eventually result in an uncomprehensible posthuman civilization. Ordinarily, this would not be a problem, but Singularitans tend to be really preachy about their beliefs, probably enboldened by the perceived certainty that science gives to their metaphysical doctrine, although the same could be said about other whiny cults like Islam. A further point of irony is the fact that many traditional religions also have transhumanist and singularitan elements (divine intelligence removing all physical and mental flaws while creating a perfect world incomprehensible to those not "ascended"). To sum up - transhumanism = becoming a marvel superhero, singularitarianism = reject parents' religion for their own that they agree with.

Transhumanist methods or areas of research mostly include genetics, nanotechnology, robotics and cybernetics, amongst others.

While classic transhumanists are concerned with the alteration of the human condition, transhumanists that are not just want titanium endoskeletons/machinegun hands/heat vision/immortality.

Basically, if you've ever wanted to be a Primarch, an Astartes, a cyborg, or a mutant, Transhumanism is the philosophy for you.

== Games ==
* [[Transhuman Space]] is a setting in GURPS and a game of its own.
* [[Eclipse Phase]] where your body and attributes are just another inventory item.
* [[Shadowrun]], for a world that is well on its way toward robotic/brain-in-a-jar body rebuilding and on the cusp of experiencing the Singularity: true A.I.'s have appeared but they aren't (yet) able to cascade themselves into better and better iterations.
* Deus Ex series, with Invisible war showing glimpses into Post-human world.
* Sins of a Solar Empire, the Advent are transhuman to the t.
* [[Post-Human Republic]] who despite their name are actually transhuman.
* [[Hic Svnt Dracones]], an example of ''transfurryism'' of all things.
* [[Warhammer 40,000]] has many examples of transhumanism among both the good, the bad, and the evil in their factions. Space Marines, Mutants, Adeptus Mechanicus, Leagues of Votann Kin, Cyborks, etc

Transhumanism

2022-09-19T03:38:13Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:4D2A:F65C:6AAF:A507: /* Games */

{{meh}}

[[image:CyberLass.jpg|thumb|300px|right| A Sexy Cyborg Girl, benefits of Transhumanism!]]
'''Transhumanism''' (with various substrains with more specific names; [[SJW]]s as H+, ancaps as '''Extropians''', extreme [[Neckbeard]]s as '''rationalists''' is a movement that promotes or at least discusses the enhancement of the human race through science and technology. A transhuman society would have changed itself to the point where it would challenge the standard meaning of "being human" -- removing or changing some of the disadvantages of being human (sub-century lifespan, vulnerable to hostile bacteria) and improving what are the good parts of being human (thinking faster than the speed of chemicals, ceaseless endurance, capable of having an always-on smartphone in your head you can remove or disable at will).

It's usually associated with an anticipated event called ''''the Singularity'''' where artificial intelligence (AI) is made that can design and build smarter AIs, which in turn design and built even smarter AIs, spiralling up until an A.I. with the computing power on the level of a low level D&D deity is "born". It's called 'the Singularity' because the original author said things are going to get so weird so fast there's no way to tell what any human culture will be like after this event, and it will serve as an unobservable "event horizon" just as with astronomical singularities like black holes. Some Transhumanists are convinced this event will usher in an ideal future, and some egotists amongst them will tell you at great length they know exactly what the future will look like post-Singularity. '''tl;dr''' The Singularity is to transhumanists exactly like the End Times is for Islamic loonies.

'''Transhumanism threads''' on /tg/ sometimes get deleted by janitors, because the threads too often turn into pseudo-evangelical hugboxes that have nothing to do with tabletop games. When the [[Eclipse Phase]] RPG was published, the H+ fancreatures rallied as this was a way to cloak their preaching as talking about the game setting and fluff.

Don't confuse transhumanism for cyberpunk. Transhumanism is an ideology about going beyond what nature has given us; Cyberpunk is about a world where advanced technology has failed to stop a dystopian society. They have a lot of overlap but they are not the same genre, cyberpunk corporations are often transhuman but the technology is rarely available to all, and the industries which make some transhuman may well sentence everyone else to live in a crapsack world.

== What Transhumanists want you to know ==
As seen by recent developments (chips in heads that allow remote control of a computer, [http://medgadget.com/archives/2008/03/rewalk_exoskeleton.html robotic exoskeletons that allow the paraplegics to walk] etc), transhumanism is rooted in realistic projections of the development of technology. However, most transhumanists are often criticized for excessive amounts of idealism and enthusiasm, even technological fetishism that doesn't care about the consequences of its actions. The line of debate is usually split between those who believe a human, scientific, involvement in the further evolution of the human race is inevitable and necessary and those retard luddites like Blajbara, the Islamic Apologist moron who first wrote the original, extremely biased version of this page, who finds the idea of changing humanity horrific. Counter-arguments against TH usually run along the lines of "playing god", and present various bad scenarios that could happen; for instance extermination of the human race ala ''Terminator'' or a genetic divide ala ''Gattaca'', although these are incredibly unlikely. Others present Transhumanism as a threat to democracy as the result of said divide... somehow. Transhumanists try to argue against this by claiming their work will prevent the human stupidity that causes most of our problems, but many of them forget that our knack for making new technology is what caused most of those problems in the first place. And that's before you consider that we're not even close to figuring out how we could manage to do half of the shit they're trying to accomplish. Can't exactly give yourself superpowers when you have no clue what most of our genes do, after all.

This disregard for the logistics of gene tampering is viewed as a major weakness. It doesn't take much observation to point out that around ninety percent of its followers are either teenagers trawling 4chan or academics who haven't noticed that having a degree in one subject doesn't make you a master in another unrelated subject, along with a fringe element of retarded /pol/ack neonazis presumably tagging along on the off-chance it gets rid of that pesky untermensch. If transhumanists could sacrifice the rest of the planet to get their immortal robot bodies would they do so? Maybe a few, because there are urban techies who prefer a better possible future to current shithole reality, but there are more likely many more who just want to make life better for everyone. This makes them excellent villains with morally murky goals: rich, resourceful, tough, glamorous, appealing, unique, and ambitious.

One thing of note is the arguable doctrinal difference between the Transhumanists and Singularitans. While there is a great deal of overlap, the two groups at their core can be differentiated by how much they put stock into the more...theological side of the issue. A transhumanist can basically be any person who simply believes in improving natural human characteristics via technology, a singularitan on the other hand is someone who (also) believes that a rapidly evolving AI will eventually result in an uncomprehensible posthuman civilization. Ordinarily, this would not be a problem, but Singularitans tend to be really preachy about their beliefs, probably enboldened by the perceived certainty that science gives to their metaphysical doctrine, although the same could be said about other whiny cults like Islam. A further point of irony is the fact that many traditional religions also have transhumanist and singularitan elements (divine intelligence removing all physical and mental flaws while creating a perfect world incomprehensible to those not "ascended"). To sum up - transhumanism = becoming a marvel superhero, singularitarianism = reject parents' religion for their own that they agree with.

Transhumanist methods or areas of research mostly include genetics, nanotechnology, robotics and cybernetics, amongst others.

While classic transhumanists are concerned with the alteration of the human condition, transhumanists that are not just want titanium endoskeletons/machinegun hands/heat vision/immortality.

Basically, if you've ever wanted to be a Primarch, an Astartes, a cyborg, or a mutant, Transhumanism is the philosophy for you.

== Games ==
* [[Transhuman Space]] is a setting in GURPS and a game of its own.
* [[Eclipse Phase]] where your body and attributes are just another inventory item.
* [[Shadowrun]], for a world that is well on its way toward robotic/brain-in-a-jar body rebuilding and on the cusp of experiencing the Singularity: true A.I.'s have appeared but they aren't (yet) able to cascade themselves into better and better iterations.
* Deus Ex series, with Invisible war showing glimpses into Post-human world.
* Sins of a Solar Empire, the Advent are transhuman to the t.
* [[Post-Human Republic]] who despite their name are actually transhuman.
* [[Hic Svnt Dracones]], an example of ''transfurryism'' of all things.
* [[Warhammer 40,000]] has many examples of transhumanism among both the good, the bad, and the evil in their factions. Space Marines, Mutants, Adeptus Mechanicus, Leagues of Votann Kin, Cyborks, etc

Transhumanism

2022-09-19T03:34:20Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:4D2A:F65C:6AAF:A507: Fuck you, Blajbara, you stinking Mujahideen

Transhumanism

2022-09-19T03:29:36Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:4D2A:F65C:6AAF:A507: /* What Transhumanists want you to know */

{{meh}}

[[image:CyberLass.jpg|thumb|300px|right|01011001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01101101 01101111 01110110 01100101 00101100 00100000 01101000 01101111 01101110 00101110.]]
'''Transhumanism''' (with various substrains with more specific names; [[SJW]]s as H+, ancaps as '''Extropians''', extreme [[Neckbeard]]s as '''rationalists''' (no, seriously, even more neckbeardy than the others)) is a movement that promotes or at least discusses the enhancement of the human race through science and technology. A transhuman society would have changed itself to the point where it would challenge the standard meaning of "being human" -- removing or changing some of the disadvantages of being human (sub-century lifespan, vulnerable to hostile bacteria) and improving what the writer thinks are the good parts of being human (thinking faster than the speed of chemicals, ceaseless endurance, always-on smartphone in your head).

It's usually associated with an anticipated event called ''''the Singularity'''' where artificial intelligence (AI) is made that can design and build smarter AIs, which in turn design and built even smarter AIs, spiralling up and out of control. It's called 'the Singularity' because the original author said things are going to get so weird so fast there's no way to tell what any human culture will be like after this event, and it will serve as an unobservable "event horizon" just as with astronomical singularities like black holes. Transhumanists are convinced this event will usher in their ideal future, and will tell you at great length they know exactly what the future will look like post-Singularity. The irony is completely lost on them. '''tl;dr''' The Singularity is to transhumanists exactly like the Rapture is for Christians.

'''Transhumanism threads''' on /tg/ sometimes get deleted by janitors, because the threads too often turn into pseudo-evangelical hugboxes that have nothing to do with tabletop games. When the [[Eclipse Phase]] RPG was published, the H+ fancreatures rallied as this was a way to cloak their preaching as talking about the game setting and fluff.

Don't confuse transhumanism for cyberpunk. Transhumanism is an ideology about going beyond what nature has given us; Cyberpunk is about a world where advanced technology has failed to stop a dystopian society. They have a lot of overlap but they are not the same genre, cyberpunk corporations are often transhuman but the technology is rarely available to all, and the industries which make some transhuman may well sentence everyone else to live in a crapsack world.

== What Transhumanists want you to know ==
As seen by recent developments (chips in heads that allow remote control of a computer, [http://medgadget.com/archives/2008/03/rewalk_exoskeleton.html robotic exoskeletons that allow the paraplegics to walk] etc), transhumanism is rooted in realistic projections of the development of technology. However, most transhumanists are often criticized for excessive amounts of idealism and enthusiasm, even technological fetishism that doesn't care about the consequences of its actions. The line of debate is usually split between those who believe a human, scientific, involvement in the further evolution of the human race is inevitable and necessary and those retard luddites like Blajbara, the Islamic Apologist moron who first wrote the original, extremely biased version of this page, who finds the idea of changing humanity horrific. Counter-arguments against TH usually run along the lines of "playing god", and present various bad scenarios that could happen; for instance extermination of the human race ala ''Terminator'' or a genetic divide ala ''Gattaca'', although these are incredibly unlikely. Others present Transhumanism as a threat to democracy as the result of said divide... somehow. Transhumanists try to argue against this by claiming their work will prevent the human stupidity that causes most of our problems, but many of them forget that our knack for making new technology is what caused most of those problems in the first place. And that's before you consider that we're not even close to figuring out how we could manage to do half of the shit they're trying to accomplish. Can't exactly give yourself superpowers when you have no clue what most of our genes do, after all.

This disregard for the logistics of gene tampering is viewed as a major weakness. It doesn't take much observation to point out that around ninety percent of its followers are either teenagers trawling 4chan or academics who haven't noticed that having a degree in one subject doesn't make you a master in another unrelated subject, along with a fringe element of retarded /pol/ack neonazis presumably tagging along on the off-chance it gets rid of that pesky untermensch. If transhumanists could sacrifice the rest of the planet to get their immortal robot bodies would they do so? Maybe a few, because there are urban techies who prefer a better possible future to current shithole reality, but there are more likely many more who just want to make life better for everyone. This makes them excellent villains with morally murky goals: rich, resourceful, tough, glamorous, appealing, unique, and ambitious.

One thing of note is the arguable doctrinal difference between the Transhumanists and Singularitans. While there is a great deal of overlap, the two groups at their core can be differentiated by how much they put stock into the more...theological side of the issue. A transhumanist can basically be any person who simply believes in improving natural human characteristics via technology, a singularitan on the other hand is someone who (also) believes that a rapidly evolving AI will eventually result in an uncomprehensible posthuman civilization. Ordinarily, this would not be a problem, but Singularitans tend to be really preachy about their beliefs, probably enboldened by the perceived certainty that science gives to their metaphysical doctrine, although the same could be said about other whiny cults like Islam. A further point of irony is the fact that many traditional religions also have transhumanist and singularitan elements (divine intelligence removing all physical and mental flaws while creating a perfect world incomprehensible to those not "ascended"). To sum up - transhumanism = becoming a marvel superhero, singularitarianism = reject parents' religion for their own that they agree with.

Transhumanist methods or areas of research mostly include genetics, nanotechnology, robotics and cybernetics, amongst others.

While classic transhumanists are concerned with the alteration of the human condition, transhumanists that are not just want titanium endoskeletons/machinegun hands/heat vision/immortality.

Basically, if you've ever wanted to be a Primarch, an Astartes, a cyborg, or a mutant, Transhumanism is the philosophy for you.

== Games ==
* [[Transhuman Space]] is a setting in GURPS and a game of its own.
* [[Eclipse Phase]] where your body and attributes are just another inventory item.
* [[Shadowrun]], for a world that is well on its way toward robotic/brain-in-a-jar body rebuilding and on the cusp of experiencing the Singularity: true A.I.'s have appeared but they aren't (yet) able to cascade themselves into better and better iterations.
* Deus Ex series, with Invisible war showing glimpses into Post-human world.
* Sins of a Solar Empire, the Advent are transhuman to the t.
* [[Post-Human Republic]] who despite their name are actually transhuman.
* [[Hic Svnt Dracones]], an example of ''transfurryism'' of all things.

Transhumanism

2022-09-19T03:28:37Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:4D2A:F65C:6AAF:A507: /* What Transhumanists want you to know */

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'''Transhumanism''' (with various substrains with more specific names; [[SJW]]s as H+, ancaps as '''Extropians''', extreme [[Neckbeard]]s as '''rationalists''' (no, seriously, even more neckbeardy than the others)) is a movement that promotes or at least discusses the enhancement of the human race through science and technology. A transhuman society would have changed itself to the point where it would challenge the standard meaning of "being human" -- removing or changing some of the disadvantages of being human (sub-century lifespan, vulnerable to hostile bacteria) and improving what the writer thinks are the good parts of being human (thinking faster than the speed of chemicals, ceaseless endurance, always-on smartphone in your head).

It's usually associated with an anticipated event called ''''the Singularity'''' where artificial intelligence (AI) is made that can design and build smarter AIs, which in turn design and built even smarter AIs, spiralling up and out of control. It's called 'the Singularity' because the original author said things are going to get so weird so fast there's no way to tell what any human culture will be like after this event, and it will serve as an unobservable "event horizon" just as with astronomical singularities like black holes. Transhumanists are convinced this event will usher in their ideal future, and will tell you at great length they know exactly what the future will look like post-Singularity. The irony is completely lost on them. '''tl;dr''' The Singularity is to transhumanists exactly like the Rapture is for Christians.

'''Transhumanism threads''' on /tg/ sometimes get deleted by janitors, because the threads too often turn into pseudo-evangelical hugboxes that have nothing to do with tabletop games. When the [[Eclipse Phase]] RPG was published, the H+ fancreatures rallied as this was a way to cloak their preaching as talking about the game setting and fluff.

Don't confuse transhumanism for cyberpunk. Transhumanism is an ideology about going beyond what nature has given us; Cyberpunk is about a world where advanced technology has failed to stop a dystopian society. They have a lot of overlap but they are not the same genre, cyberpunk corporations are often transhuman but the technology is rarely available to all, and the industries which make some transhuman may well sentence everyone else to live in a crapsack world.

== What Transhumanists want you to know ==
As seen by recent developments (chips in heads that allow remote control of a computer, [http://medgadget.com/archives/2008/03/rewalk_exoskeleton.html robotic exoskeletons that allow the paraplegics to walk] etc), transhumanism is rooted in realistic projections of the development of technology. However, most transhumanists are often criticized for excessive amounts of idealism and enthusiasm, even technological fetishism that doesn't care about the consequences of its actions. The line of debate is usually split between those who believe a human, scientific, involvement in the further evolution of the human race is inevitable and necessary and those retard luddites like Blajbara who find the idea of changing humanity horrific. Counter-arguments against TH usually run along the lines of "playing god", and present various bad scenarios that could happen; for instance extermination of the human race ala ''Terminator'' or a genetic divide ala ''Gattaca'', although these are incredibly unlikely. Others present Transhumanism as a threat to democracy as the result of said divide... somehow. Transhumanists try to argue against this by claiming their work will prevent the human stupidity that causes most of our problems, but many of them forget that our knack for making new technology is what caused most of those problems in the first place. And that's before you consider that we're not even close to figuring out how we could manage to do half of the shit they're trying to accomplish. Can't exactly give yourself superpowers when you have no clue what most of our genes do, after all.

This disregard for the logistics of gene tampering is viewed as a major weakness. It doesn't take much observation to point out that around ninety percent of its followers are either teenagers trawling 4chan or academics who haven't noticed that having a degree in one subject doesn't make you a master in another unrelated subject, along with a fringe element of retarded /pol/ack neonazis presumably tagging along on the off-chance it gets rid of that pesky untermensch. If transhumanists could sacrifice the rest of the planet to get their immortal robot bodies would they do so? Maybe a few, because there are urban techies who prefer a better possible future to current shithole reality, but there are more likely many more who just want to make life better for everyone. This makes them excellent villains with morally murky goals: rich, resourceful, tough, glamorous, appealing, unique, and ambitious.

One thing of note is the arguable doctrinal difference between the Transhumanists and Singularitans. While there is a great deal of overlap, the two groups at their core can be differentiated by how much they put stock into the more...theological side of the issue. A transhumanist can basically be any person who simply believes in improving natural human characteristics via technology, a singularitan on the other hand is someone who (also) believes that a rapidly evolving AI will eventually result in an uncomprehensible posthuman civilization. Ordinarily, this would not be a problem, but Singularitans tend to be really preachy about their beliefs, probably enboldened by the perceived certainty that science gives to their metaphysical doctrine, although the same could be said about other whiny cults like Islam. A further point of irony is the fact that many traditional religions also have transhumanist and singularitan elements (divine intelligence removing all physical and mental flaws while creating a perfect world incomprehensible to those not "ascended"). To sum up - transhumanism = becoming a marvel superhero, singularitarianism = reject parents' religion for their own that they agree with.

Transhumanist methods or areas of research mostly include genetics, nanotechnology, robotics and cybernetics, amongst others.

While classic transhumanists are concerned with the alteration of the human condition, transhumanists that are not just want titanium endoskeletons/machinegun hands/heat vision/immortality.

Basically, if you've ever wanted to be a Primarch, an Astartes, a cyborg, or a mutant, Transhumanism is the philosophy for you.

== Games ==
* [[Transhuman Space]] is a setting in GURPS and a game of its own.
* [[Eclipse Phase]] where your body and attributes are just another inventory item.
* [[Shadowrun]], for a world that is well on its way toward robotic/brain-in-a-jar body rebuilding and on the cusp of experiencing the Singularity: true A.I.'s have appeared but they aren't (yet) able to cascade themselves into better and better iterations.
* Deus Ex series, with Invisible war showing glimpses into Post-human world.
* Sins of a Solar Empire, the Advent are transhuman to the t.
* [[Post-Human Republic]] who despite their name are actually transhuman.
* [[Hic Svnt Dracones]], an example of ''transfurryism'' of all things.