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Nephilim

2022-08-28T23:50:20Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:7CC4:6403:F477:2B18: Nephilim Warhammer

The Nephilim are a race of minor Xenos from Warhammer 40,000 lore. They parasitically psychically fed on faith, tricking planets into worshipping them in return for paradise in the hereafter whilst draining entire worlds of their life force.

Fiend

2022-08-28T18:25:03Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:7CC4:6403:F477:2B18:

'''Fiend''' is a catch-all name used to collectively refer to any and all of the malevolent entities that could hail from a game's equivalent of the [[Lower Planes]]. It is a nondiscriminatory term that encompasses both races such as [[Demon]], [[Devil]] and [[Daemon]] (or other "Evil Outsiders") as a whole, and the myriad sub-varieties of each of those races.

Fiend was popularized as a catch-all thanks to the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] setting of [[Planescape]]; motivated on the meta-level by the dread [[Satanic Panic]], in-universe, it was a polite term that planars came up with in order to avoid attracting angry "corrections" from either [[Demon|Tanar'ri]] or [[Devil|Baatezu]], who both looked similar and absolutely ''despised'' being mistaken for each other, given their races were locked in the [[Blood War]].

The new 5E edition of Spelljammer features a new type of Fiend: SPACE CLOWNS! These reality-warping monsters come from a system known as Clown Space, formed from 3 Ring Worlds (a pun on "3 Ring Circus"). They're a homage to the cult classic 1988 Sci-Fi Horror Comedy Film "Killer Klowns from Outer Space". Much like the murderous clowns in the film, these guys have reality-warping powers based on clown gags.

[[Category: Monsters]] [[Category: Dungeons & Dragons]] [[Category: Gamer Slang]] [[Category: Planescape]]

Spelljammer

2022-08-27T19:01:59Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:7CC4:6403:F477:2B18: /* Post-AD&D */

{{dnd-stub}}
[[Image:sj-logo.gif|center]]

{{topquote|There were nights when the winds of the Etherium, so inviting in their promise of flight and freedom, made one's spirit soar.|Narrator, Treasure Planet}}

Spelljammer is basically FANTASY PIRATES IN SPACE with shitloads of strange stuff, like elves that have symbiotic weapons, mechanical gnomes and anthropoid hippos obsessed with [[dakka]].

Unique creatures include space whales, space squid, space dragons, and, of course, [[giant space hamsters]]. However, in terms of sapient races, the setting also features the first playable [[lizardfolk]], who get smarter when their eggs are warmed up by the sun in space, the [[Dracon]], a race of Lawful Good dragon-centaurs with European-esque dignity culture and hilarious racism, the Arcane, a race of magically-advanced, mysterious aliens who created the spelljammer and sell its secrets to anyone who'll pay, the [[Giff]], a race of explosion-loving hippo-men and consummate mercenaries, the [[Scro]], a lawful-evil [[orc]] sub-species that are the brutal, disciplined [[Nazis]] to the regular orcs' barbarian horde, and the [[Neogi]], a loathed race of eel-spider men who're despised across the cosmos for their inability to stop enslaving everything for five seconds.

And also some weirdly-chill [[Beholder]]s and [[Mind flayer]]s, though the former still try to exterminate all beholders not like themselves and the latter are still evil, just more business-predatory and less actual-predatory about it.

==Why are There Ships in Space?==
Because why the fuck ''not?'' Jeez, do you even RPG, reader?

Spelljammer was originally conceived as another setting for [[Advanced Dungeons and Dragons]], but instead of making yet another stand-alone setting, Spelljammer was designed to link together all of the settings of the time into a single universe. Or perhaps multiple unified universes, because each setting has its own Ptolemaic universe, called a Sphere.

A Sphere is a massive black orb of unbreakable crystal containing an entire solar system(and extending roughly twice the diameter of the farthest orbit). Inside the Sphere is what is known as '''Wild Space'''. Around the surface of the Sphere are burning portals that allow ships and creatures to pass into and out of the Sphere. These are typically seen from the surface of the planet(s) within as "stars".

Physics in Wild Space doesn't ''quite'' work like normal physics. Every object has it's gravity, but it's a little more pronounced, and is established as a flat plane going lengthwise. This means if you fall overboard a ship, you'll go down to roughly the waterline of an oceangoing vessel before you pass the gravity line and fall back "up". In addition, all objects leaving a planet's atmosphere will drag a portion of it with them that surrounds them in Wild Space like a bubble. A human will only have enough air with them for a few minutes of breathing before it becomes stale, but a Spelljammer can carry a few months worth, more if you have some greenery with you to refresh it. This is usually more than enough to get the ship through a typical voyage from one Sphere to the next. When two air envelopes meet, their atmospheres will mix together and diffuse. This can be bad if a Spelljammer gets closer to a larger ship whose atmosphere has already gone bad.

All of the various Spheres float within a space called The Flow, filled entirely with a substance known as ''Phlogiston''. Phlogiston is gaseous, highly flammable, cannot exist within a Sphere, and [[meme|not soluble in water]]. The Phlogiston flows between spheres like a mighty river or ocean current, providing propulsion and direction to ships sailing it. One of the more stable routes in the Flow is Radiant Triangle, circulating between [[Greyhawk|Greyspace]], [[Dragonlance|Krynnspace]], and [[Forgotten Realms|Realmspace]].

As the magical arts within one of the spheres became sophisticated enough in the long past, someone took to the stars in a magical spaceship. Literally a space ship, because the first Spelljammer was probably a sailing ship with a Spelljammer's Helm strapped on. They got lucky because Spelljamming physics is just messed up enough to permit this kind of travel, and the rest was history.

There's also '''the''' ''Spelljammer'', a mysterious living ship that is the namesake of all other Spelljammers. Resembling a giant manta ray with a city on its back, it flies across space at random and is said to have existed since the beginning of recorded history, spawning countless legends in the same manner as the Flying Dutchman. It "feeds" on heat and light, which it converts into food for its inhabitants. Very rarely, it seeks a captain to pilot it- when it does so, it spawns numerous copies of itself known as Smalljammers. Legend has it that only one ''Spelljammer'' exists at any given time, and when it dies one of the Smalljammers grows into a new one (no word on what happens to the others).

==Star Frontiers Heir==
Before Spelljammer, TSR worked on a sci-fi RPG called [[Star Frontiers]], and so they recycled a number of monsters from it for Spelljammer. The winged ape-folk known as Yazarians became the playable [[Hadozee]] in Spelljammer, whilst the centipede-taur Vrusk became the playable [[Rastipede]] race. Even the sapient [[slime]] race known as Dralasites appeared as monsters called [[Plasmoid]]s.

==Playable Aliens==
Playable races of Spelljammer are... well, there's a lot of options, technically, but the ones associated with the setting came out almost entirely in the ''Complete Spacefarer's Handbook'', alongside a more intelligent variant of [[Lizardfolk]] in the Spelljammer boxed set. They are surprisingly [[beastfolk]] centric, on reflection.
* [[Aperusa]]
* [[Dracon]]
* [[Giff]]
* [[Grommam]]
* [[Hadozee]]
* [[Hurwaeti]]
* [[Rastipede]]
* [[Scro]]
* [[Xixchil]]

==Unplayable Aliens==
In addition to all the playable races there a pages upon pages you can't play as whether due to being only used as NPCs, to being monsters, or just random flavor for a Sphere's jungle planet.
* [[Arcane]], they're name was changed to Mercane in 3rd
* [[Autognome]]
* [[Dohwar]]
* [[Giant Space Hamster]]
* [[Insectare]]
* [[K'r'r'r]]
* [[Miniature Giant Space Hamster]]
* [[Neogi]]
* [[Plasmoid]]
* [[Vodoni]]
Some of these later became playable races in 3rd or 5th edition but as Spelljammer was basically dropped at that point they're being put here.

==Post-AD&D==
Given that it was regarded as a bottom-barrel setting even by [[TSR]], Spelljammer didn't really fare very well in the editions that came after [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]] finally kicked the bucket in the tail end of the 90s.

In [[Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition]], Spelljammer fell from a major part of the overarching canon to being literally a nothing burger. Planar [[splatbook]]s like the [[Manual of the Planes]] didn't even mention Wildspace or the Phlogiston. There were one or two articles in [[Dragon Magazine]] and [[Dungeon Magazine]] that kept the embers smoldering, but as a setting, Spelljammer was left to rot. It wasn't even farmed out to other publishers the way that [[Dragonlance]] and [[Ravenloft]] were.

[[Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition]] somehow managed to grind those embers even deeper into the ashes; whilst spelljammers appeared as an official kind of magical vehicle, none of the iconic Spelljammer monsters ever made into the new [[Nentir Vale]] setting, and the new [[World Axis]] cosmology basically made the Phlogiston obsolete. Even the Spelljammers were changed on a fundamental level, going from magical flying ships hurtling through fantasy outer space to magical flying ships that did that, but could also [[Plane Shift]] at will.

When [[Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition]] came around, Spelljammer fans obviously weren't holding their breaths. But then there was a trickle of hope; references to Spelljammer began to creep into the game via [[splatbook]]s and adventures. The concept of [[illithid]]s as a spacefaring race was brought up in Volo's Guide to Monsters, whilst an actual Illithid nautiloid would feature in both the adventure ''Rime of the Ice Maiden'' and in the video game "Baldur's Gate III". This finally went so far as to result in an [[Unearthed Arcana]] that offered several Spelljammer races as PC options; former monsters [[Autognome]]s and [[Plasmoid]]s, as well as the iconic [[Giff]] and [[Hadozee]], plus the [[thri-kreen]] (who actually do have spelljamming significance) and the new "Astral Elves" (because we needed a distinct spelljamming elf subrace...)

Then came the big one: in April 2022, it was confirmed that there was going to finally be some official Spelljammer splatbooks! Fans were ecstatic; at long last, their beloved setting was returning to D&D!

...Then came the revelation that this would in the form of three 64-page long mini-splats that would be released as a boxed set in mid-August 2022: ''The Astral Adventurer's Guide'' (to compress all the player and DM lore into that pittance of pages), ''Boo's Astral Menagerie'' (Spelljammer monsters), and ''Light of Xaryxis'', an adventure. The icing on the cake, the emphasis is now on sailing through the [[Astral Plane]] - in a throwback to 4e's [[Astral Sea]], with [[Wildspace]] being a different layer of the plane. Still better than nothing.

In the weeks leading up to Spelljammer's return, the project's creators released several videos about Spelljammer on their channel. Amongst other details, this confirmed that the six new races for the setting would be those of the earlier Unearthed Arcana: [[Giff]], [[Hadozee]], [[Thri-Kreen]], [[Autognome]], [[Plasmoid]] and Astral [[Elf]]. Sorry if you were hoping for the [[Xixchil]] or [[Dracon]]!

Reviewers have gotten their hands on the Spelljammer boxed set and officially revealed its contents to the world though Youtube:
* Individual spelljammers still have their own gravity wells and air pockets, so falling off your spelljammer means you risk suffocating in the void.
* Rules are thus provided for weightless environments and suffocation.
* The terms [[Wildspace]] and RealmSpace at the least are still around. But the term "Astral Sea" is back from the [[World Axis]] too.
* The Rock of Braal is back.
* Two new backgrounds; Wildspacer and Astral Drifter.
* Wildspace and the Astral Plane are still different places.
* Two new spells; Create Air Bubble, which works as an emergency life support mechanism, and Create Spelljamming Helm.
* Three magic items; Fish Suit, Spelljamming Helm, and Wildspace Orrey.
* Spelljamming rules include crew, crashing and repairs.
* Spelljammers confirmed to have returned: Hammerhead, Giff Bombard, Damselfly, Flying Fish, Lamprey, Living Ship, Nautiloid, Nightspider, Scorpion, Shrike, Space Galleon, Squid, Star Moth, Turtle, Tyrant Ship, Wasp.
* Hammerhead jammers come with a bar built into the ship as standard.
* Monsters in Boo's Astral Menagerie: [[Aartuk]], Astral Elf, Autognome, [[Braxat]], [[Brohg]], Chwinga, Cosmic Horror, [[Dohwar]], [[Esthetic]], Eye Monger, [[Feyr]], [[Gaj]], [[Giff]], [[Githyanki]], [[Hadozee]], Jammer Leech, [[Kindori]], Lunar Dragon, Megapede, [[Mercane]], Murder Comet, [[Neh-thalggu]], [[Neogi]], [[Plasmoid]] (Boss, Explorer, Warrior), [[Psurlon]], [[Reigar]], Solar Dragon, Space Clown, Space Eel, Space Guppy, Space Hamster, Space Mollymock, Space Swine, [[Ssurran]], Starlight Apparation, [[Thri-Kreen]], Vampirates, Zodar
* There's also a segment on converting regular [[Monster Manual]] type critters to astral or wildspace denizens.
* Keen eyes will observe several [[Dark Sun]] monsters have been slipped into the party in Boo's Astral Menagerie.

Not only all this, but a recent interview revealed a new race of Fiends, the SPACE CLOWNS! Based on the cult classic 1988 Sci-Fi Horror Comedy "Killer Klowns from Outer Space", which at the same time as the reveal of Space Clowns seems to be having a cultural resurgence with a Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights attraction, a Multi-player Vidya Gaem, and talks of a potential sequel, "Return of the Killer Klowns from Outer Space in 3D". These Space Clowns hail from a system known as "Clown Space" formed of 3 ring worlds. They have reality-warping abilities based upon classic clown gags.

==Links==
* [http://www.spelljammer.org/ Assorted resources available here.]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yunzf9_iDQ A video about how the 5th edition monsters were selected.]
{{D&D-Settings}}

[[Category:Spelljammer]]

Fiend

2022-08-27T18:57:49Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:7CC4:6403:F477:2B18: Space Clowns

'''Fiend''' is a catch-all name used to collectively refer to any and all of the malevolent entities that could hail from a game's equivalent of the [[Lower Planes]]. It is a nondiscriminatory term that encompasses both races such as [[Demon]], [[Devil]] and [[Daemon]] (or other "Evil Outsiders") as a whole, and the myriad sub-varieties of each of those races.

Fiend was popularized as a catch-all thanks to the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] setting of [[Planescape]]; motivated on the meta-level by the dread [[Satanic Panic]], in-universe, it was a polite term that planars came up with in order to avoid attracting angry "corrections" from either [[Demon|Tanar'ri]] or [[Devil|Baatezu]], who both looked similar and absolutely ''despised'' being mistaken for each other, given their races were locked in the [[Blood War]].

The new 5E edition of Spelljammer features a new type of Fiend: SPACE CLOWNS! These reality-warping monsters come from a system known as Clown Space, formed from 3 Ring Worlds. They're a homage to the cult classic 1988 Sci-Fi Horror Comedy Film "Killer Klowns from Outer Space". Much like the murderous clowns in the film, these guys have reality-warping powers based on clown gags.

[[Category: Monsters]] [[Category: Dungeons & Dragons]] [[Category: Gamer Slang]] [[Category: Planescape]]

Clan Verms

2022-08-27T18:53:45Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:7CC4:6403:F477:2B18:

A former member clan of the Council of Thirteen, Clan Verms specialized in making insect swarms, giant creepy crawlies like Giant Scorpions, and producing Worm Oil. We're betrayed by Clan Pestilens, kicked off the Council, replaced as Warbeast makers by Clan Moulder, and Clan Skryre replaced the need for Worm Oil with Warpstone Lights. Add in their swarms of invertebrate vermin were helping spread a deadly plague amongst Skavenblight, and you get a recipe for a Clan so low on the totem pole, even other Slave Clans spit on them.
{{Skaven-Clans}}

Clan Verms

2022-08-27T07:59:17Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:7CC4:6403:F477:2B18: Clan Verms

A former member clan of the Council of Thirteen, Clan Verms specialized in making insect swarms, giant creepy crawlies like Giant Scorpions, and producing Worm Oil.

Trevor Henderson

2022-08-26T21:27:45Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:7CC4:6403:F477:2B18: Trevor Henderson

Trevor Henderson is an Internet Artist well known for creating horrific supernatural creatures utilizing image alteration of photographs. He is the creator of the infamous Sirenhead, a being seen by many as "the new Slenderman", along with the mascot of the band Milkblood, and countless other horrific abominations with their own lore which would make great one-off enemies in a game like Delta Green, Call of Cthulhu, or Masque of the Red Death.

Mystery Flesh Pit National Park

2022-08-26T21:23:09Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:7CC4:6403:F477:2B18: Mystery Flesh Pit National Park

The Mystery Flesh Pit National Park is an enormous superorganism burrowed below ground in Texas from an ARG of the same name. The ARG has a huge amount of worldbuilding, and would serve as a good idea of the bad things that could happen if humanity, especially corporations, tried to take advantage of a massive Lovecraftian entity, particularly useful for games like Delta Green or Masque of the Red Death. The Mystery Flesh Pit is also referred to as the Permian Superorganism, and is so large it has its own ecosystems of parasites within it.

Ogre Kingdoms

2022-08-26T13:06:59Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:7CC4:6403:F477:2B18: /* Army */

[[File:F8eadd7a4470a5bc529656620e73680f.png|thumb|right|350px|A bunch of lards being dudes.]]
{{Topquote|The gluttons dig their own graves with their teeth.|James Howell}}
{{Topquote|I'll take a double triple bossyy deluxe, on a raft, 4x4 animal style, extra shingles with the shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim.|The average Ogre order when they go out to eat}}
{{Topquote|No voice in our ears but the Maw<br>We relish the sound of its call<br>We’ll plunder and feast on any man, any beast<br>Doesn’t matter, we’ll snack on them all<br><br>The stragglers we didn’t consume<br>Are chucked in our sacrifice stew<br>They scream and they run<br>But that’s part of the fun<br>‘Cause the Ogres are coming to get ya!<br><br>Oh, Ogres, Ogres<br>Chomping on meats<br>Filling our guts with our struggling treats<br>Tearing, chewing<br>We kill for the Maw<br>The power and grub’s what we’re doing it for!<br>Crunching and biting<br>We kill for the Maw<br>The power and grub’s what we’re doing it for!|2=
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Bbp98oMsjA The Ogres' trailer music from Total War: Warhammer III]}}

The '''Ogre Kingdoms''' are a faction in [[Warhammer Fantasy]], although it's really more of a geographical term than a political term, as Ogres in WFB aren't really "united" in any rational sense. In fact, they're spread out across the Warhammer World, some making up tribes that, in turn, make up the "kingdoms," whereas others serve as mercenaries for other factions (although there's not really an in-game way to represent this as of now).

Ogres used to live in the Warhammer World's equivalent to Mongolia, but they were driven away by the arrival of the [[Great Maw]], some sort of literal giant maw that stuck into the ground and makes Ogres really, really hungry. They began to move westwards, ending up in the massive [[Mountains of Mourn]] to the east of the [[Dark Lands]] (which, in turn, is east of the [[Old World]]). These would eventually become known as the Ogre Kingdoms, but Ogres are continuing to move west, working for some forces and invading (and eating) others.

==History==
===Pre-Chaos===
Way back in the early days of the world, the [[Old Ones (Warhammer)|Old Ones]] knew that [[Chaos]] was approaching and they feverishly worked to find a way to prevent it by engineering a race capable of fighting Daemons and winning. They created [[Lizardmen]] to aid them as servants, and set to work first creating an environment to place the race in to live up to its full potential, then study them and decide if they were a success. First they made the [[High Elves (Warhammer)|Elves]], who were too slow to reproduce and too frail to survive prolonged war. Then the [[Dwarfs]], who were incapable of using magic and too rigid in their culture to change fast enough to adapt to [[Daemon]] trickery. Then they created [[Humans]], who were too corruptible. At this point the Old Ones began panicking, and created a bunch of races (so everyone who isn't one of the main groups) all of which were flawed in one way or another (the [[Halflings]] of the Moot are in fact prototype Ogres). Finally, they produce the Ogres. At first they seemed to have all the desirable traits the old ones were looking for. They were as adaptable and fast breeding as man, able to survive all but the harshest of conditions, resistant to mutation, long lived, fairly intelligent, and they could eat just about anything. The Ogres were a half-finished race, though, as the old ones had yet to curb the creature's intense hunger. At this point, the [[Warp Gates]] collapsed preventing the Old Ones from distributing the ogres and using them as soldiers. As such, Ogres, despite being the race theoretically capable of fighting Chaos and winning, were left without the means or knowledge of how to do so. Also, ogres are huge, like, REALLY huge, so them being really hungry is a lot more of a problem than you'd think.

===Great Maw===
{{topquote|The feast is OVER! There's no more food! Go home and - wait, no put me down!!!!|Cathayan Emperor, finally sick of the Ogre's nearly eating his empire under the table|}}

Ogres initially lived in tribes, which wandered the steppes of Warhammer Mongolia following nomadic giant animals which they ate whole. This kept them happy for thousands of years. But as the numbers of the Ogres increased, their half-completed environment was unable to support them. They began attempting to cross the passes that lead to the other races of the world. Nearest them was the Humans of [[Cathay]], AKA Warhammer China. Ogres learned stone-age technology such as "fire" and "wheels" from the Cathayans, and for the first time tasted the meat of intelligent beings: and it was FUCKING DELICIOUS. The Emperor of Cathay, who was apparently an immortal dragon god, used his magic and the mages of his court to pull a mysterious creature from space down into the middle of the Ogre lands where it promptly pulled a Tunguska. Said impact reverberated through the world, with all races feeling the shock (Dwarfs everywhere carved Malachite murals of the event, menacing with spikes of Cat Bone. Elves wrote a sonnet about it, which is actually a metaphor for why Dwarfs are short. Humans made up a myth about a hero fucking the Earth God Ishneros bareback). The impact wiped out 2/3 of the Ogre race instantly, and the comet reached the molten core of the world. The land of the Ogres was destroyed, burned to a crisp and rendered mostly lifeless. The survivors of the Ogres believed that they had been punished by an angry god for their sins (what they think those sins were varies from group to group) and they came to worship the giant crater as the physical manifestation of their God. Somehow, this also caused an unnatural hunger for every Ogre that could not be sated. This came to be the basis for their ENTIRE culture, and also lead to the current "fatty boy" look of their race.
Natural selection came into play as the weak were eaten by the strong. The only Ogres that survived this dark era were absolute fucking badasses with skin that could stop cannonballs and muscles underneath that could crack said cannonballs (cannonball soup makes a great pre-cannon team barbeque dish by the way). With tribes consuming themselves into oblivion and survivors being fed on by larger tribes without end as Ogres could never feel satisfied, Ogres had to find new lands and new meats. Cathay was blocked by natural barriers, so westward they went, tribe by tribe.

An Ogre named Groth Onefinger stepped forth and lead his tribe to the site of impact of the comet. The areas surrounding the hole were dangerous enough to kill even the hardened Ogres, and those that survived found that the pit wasn't just a hole. [[Tyranids|It was a pit, surrounded by muscle and rimmed by teeth. It had no discernible end. It was alive and the dangers around it were simply its intake of breath and respiration.]] Since that day, Ogres no matter where in the world they were born return at some point in their lives to visit the Great Maw, and all Ogres worship it as their deity and adorn their crafts in images of it.

===War in the Sky===
The Ogres became the first race in the setting to cross the natural boundaries of the Old Ones. They carved their way through impassible mountains and ascended the heights, finding new beasts to eat. Ones that were just as capable of eating them, but regardless still new flesh. Ogres once again passed through a challenge that consumed the weakest of their race, strengthening the survivors and their descendants. In the frozen wastes, everything was capable of preying on Ogres, and tribes couldn't rest or take shelter without being consumed to the last. The Ogres that managed to reach the tops of the peaks found rolling hills of a more temperate climate, where enormous herds of succulent mammoths were tended by their cousins, the Skytitans. The Skytitans had a great civilization on top of what is now the Ancient Giant Lands, only descending the bottom when tending to their herds, and carved fortresses and artwork worthy of Elves and Dwarfs into the peaks. The Ogres initially preyed on the herd animals, which were powerful enough that an entire tribe was needed to kill one (and an entire tribe could find themselves feasting for a longer time than thought possible). The Skytitans didn't take kindly to the Ogre invasion of their lands, and fought a war to render the dwindled race extinct. The weapons of war and magics of the Skytitans slew most of the Ogre race in what came to be known as the War in the Sky, but in the end the dwindled Ogres still outnumbered the Skytitans hundreds to one and the isolated, singular lifestyle of the Skytitans prevented them from uniting, resulting in each Skytitan being besieged and eaten (often alive) in his own home by packs of vermin-like Ogres. Soon most of the race was consumed, the last of the Skytitans having become so large and hardened (as Skytitans grew larger and tougher as they aged) that they were indistinguishable from the mountains themselves, with small numbers of survivors banding together and setting sail on fortresses built on the tops of solidified clouds, but where they went and if they survived the journey is unknown. Some Skytitans fled to other lands on foot, most of them devolving and inbreeding into the current [[Giant|Giants]]: monsters that dwell the hills looking for battle and food (in that order), with no art or culture to speak of, and oftentimes goaded (often with large quantities of alcohol) to march alongside Beastmen, Greenskins, and Chaos devotees.

The victorious Ogres enslaved the Skytitan's children, consumed the mammoth herds of the Skytitans, destroyed their fortresses and covered up ancient carvings depicting the Old Ones and their wisdom with grease paintings (literally, paints made of grease and charcoal from cooking fires) depicting great meals eaten by Ogre tribes. The magical radiation that the Great Maw had sent into the atmosphere made the mountain tops dangerous, and with the depletion of most of the Skytitan's mammoth herds, most Ogres continued westward. Those that stayed turned feral, grew fur, and became Yeti (called "Yhete" in Warhammer). With the mass cannibalism that followed the comet impact leaving only the strong and the War in the Sky killing off those who weren't strong enough to survive the massive war, this back to back double whammy meant that the men and women of the Ogres became even more powerful as only the toughest bastards and bitches managed to live through.

===Modern Day===
The Ogres ascended the peaks of the Giants and found themselves in the Mountains of Mourn. Here, they found more animals than they had ever dreamed of. They found Dwarfs (who believe a mountain made of solid gold is found somewhere in the Mountains of Mourn, and thus keep attempting to invade), greenskins, [[Skaven]], and Humans. Ogres kept some Goblins as pets and bred (and ate) them, and within a few generations they wound up creating a new race of servile greenskins called [[Gnoblar|Gnoblars]].
Ogres managed to push the semi-intelligent beings who originally inhabited the Mountains of Mourn (called Dragon Ogres) entirely out, leaving them confined to the Chaos Wastes. They also drove out [[Beastmen]] who had begun to dwell in the lower peaks.

Ogres carved their own territory in these lands out, and Ogre tyrants became more permanent fixtures of tribal rule rather than simply "biggest loudest guy who was still alive in the morning". They fought off any threats that came to the Ogres, among them a Daemon invasion (leading some Ogres to develop a taste for them) and a giant living glacier that the Ogres battled during a particularly bad winter (allegedly living anyway). When Orc slaves managed to escape the Chaos Dwarfs into the Mountains of Mourn, they fought with the Ogres for land and eventually found their way into valleys beyond the notice of the Ogres where they began to build their numbers. At one point the Skaven attempted to invade the Ogres. The resulting battles almost led to extinction among the Skaven, as the Ogres found their way into the tunnels and developed a taste for them.

The tribes expanded, and true diplomacy was born. Eventually some tribes discovered that there was greater gains to be had by being amicable to the smaller races than simply eating them outright (asking yearly tributes from multiple villages on a cycle gave more meat than just eating all of them and if the villagers could get uppity you could have farmer steak and your wife could have seamstress soup to remind the survivors of their place), and Ogres spread throughout the world as mercenaries to be hired by anyone who had goods they could convince the Ogres had some value, and edible foes.

Ogres, by the nature of their creation, are resistant to the effects of the [[Warp]], and of magic. Despite this many ended up swearing themselves to Chaos for different reasons, be it the hedonistic encouragements of [[Slaanesh]], the encouragement for slaughter and trophy-taking by [[Khorne]], the similarity between themselves and the servants of [[Nurgle]] as well as the camaraderie of being part of a tribe that will never turn on itself (besides backstabbing the leader, but that's just par for the course), or the fact [[Tzeentch]] will either do the thinking for them so they can just focus on what they do best or give them spiffy mutations like extra mouths so they can eat even more. [[Warriors of Chaos]] make use of the Ogres as living siege weapons, while the Ogres make use of the Warriors as playthings and snacks.
But Ogres are a neutral race, just as likely to learn to read and write (at a very basic level) so they can peruse wanted posters in the Empire for bandits and vampires, all of which make lovely snacks with the bonus that the Ogre ends up with a decent amount of gold at the end with which he can purchase the clothes of an Empire nobleman (fitted about twenty sizes up) with which to dress himself so he can dine with polite society. Sometimes ON polite society if he's lucky enough to be challenged to a duel while there.
Still others sail the world, becoming pirates and devouring sea monster and crew (and ship) alike depending on who they cross paths with. Still others find employ amongst High Elves, being studied by mages of Saphery between battles against [[Dark Elves]].
Some wander [[Wood Elves|Athel Loren]], growing moss from their backs and their skin hardening like bark until they're indistinguishable from treekin themselves.
Other Ogres are even employed by said [[Dark Elves]], who were so impressed by their capacity for brutal violence they recruited Ogres instead of enslaving them.
Ogres today can be found amongst any group in the world, doing whatever they can, always eating, always looking for more. Sometimes individually, sometimes in groups.

During the [[End Times]] the Ogre Kingdoms were taken over by the Orcs under [[Grimgor Ironhide]] and joined his Beast WAAAAGH! after Ironhide defeated the last Overtyrant, [[Greasus Goldtooth]]. They invaded Cathay and later took part in the last stand against Chaos in a losing effort.

===[[Age of Sigmar]]===
Now named "Ogors" (because copyright), they exist in the mortal realms as the [[Ogor Mawtribes]]. They are largely the same, barring the division of units into “Gutbusters” (on-foot regular ogres and gnoblars) and “Beastclaw Raiders” (hunters and snowy monsters).

==Regions==
* '''Mountains of Mourn:''' Most Ogres are found in the Mountains of Mourn, considered their homeland. Those that wander or make their homes in other lands return, or send representatives, to tell their stories which usually results in some Ogres leaving the homeland and joining them. Sometimes this results in an entire tribe living outside the Mountains of Mourn, but inevitably they will seek contact again with their kin. This is the primary method through which they expand across the globe. The Mountains themselves change constantly, as they are constantly bathed in radiation from the Warp. Many dangerous animals wander the Mountains. To smaller races, these are dangerous beasts worthy of a small Crusade of [[Bretonnia|Bretonnian]] knights, or a party of High Elf White Lions of Chrace, or a hunting party of [[Vampire Counts|Strigoi and ghouls]]. To Ogres, it's either a single meal or a pet. The largest of them are at best mounts. The mountains themselves are full of caves and tunnels that lead to everything from portals to the Warp to Dwarf Fortresses, to greenskin WAAAGH!s in formation, and things ancient and unknowable beyond these; all of which are great sources of meals. Half the peaks are volcanic, half sub arctic. All bother Ogres as much as a bit of rain or sun. Mount Thug is notable in the range for actually being alive, and Ogres have a great deal of respect for those who escape being eaten or crushed by it as they scale its peaks to feed on the bloated animals that live in spaces Mount Thug can't reach. The [[Fire Mouth]] is an active volcano with periodic eruptions nearby the greatest concentrations of Ogres, and they believe it's the bastard offspring of the sun and the Great Maw. The Firebellies are a cult that worship this "god" which they believe is the wargod of the Ogre pantheon. Each Kingdom is ruled by a Tyrant, and his domain extends literally as far as he can see at his place of dwelling. Tyrants as such place a big deal of importance on thrones and hills. Tyrants that manage to gain control of important sites, like the passes that lead to the Great Maw or out to the western kingdoms face constant challenges from other Tyrants, and reap the rewards of demanding tribute (often food, sometimes a percentage of the Ogre pilgrims in the group as meat).

* '''Challenge Stone:''' A large stone found at the northernmost edge of the Mountains of Mourn and the southernmost edge of the Chaos Wastes. When held by the Warriors of Chaos, it is fought over and rededicated from one Chaos God to another. When held by Ogres, they fight to inscribe their tribe symbol on the stone for bragging rights the world over. The two races CONSTANTLY fight over the stone. Currently controlled by the Bloodmaw tribe.

* '''The World:''' Seriously. They're fucking everywhere.

==Tribes==
Ogre tribes are numerous, and constantly changing. Most are named for a notable Ogre in them, or a characteristic common to members. Ogres are not the kind to trace lineages or politics outside their own generation, and as such tribes are a mark of the present rather than past or future (some tribes do manage to defy this, existing across multiple generations. This is a rarity). Tribes change locations, even within its Tyrant's own kingdom, constantly. Memories of the coming of the Great Maw still exist, and it's within the imagination of Ogres that it could happen again one day. As such, Ogres are mostly nomadic and their possessions are few and easily packed. The most valuable thing to an Ogre is his tribe's Mawtooth, a single great tooth and flag which at gatherings of their kind is arranged with others in a circle, making an effigy of their god.

* '''Goldtooth''' A tribe lasting across multiple generations, known to be the wealthiest. Currently led by Greasus Goldtooth(that's Tradelord Greasus Tribestealer Drakecrush Gatecrasher Hoardmaster Goldtooth the Shockingly Obese to you, peasant!). Known for elaborate displays of wealth, like feeding other tribes and blinging out their gutplates. Goldtooths are known for having a large number of Ironguts, and are the most feared tribe.
<gallery> Image:Goldtooth Tribe.jpg|Goldtooth symbol. </gallery>

* '''Thunderguts''' Known for rampaging through the lands of the Old World and taking over towns or taking hostages, then demanding food as payment. They usually end up either demanding more and more, or eating their hostages. Greenskins and Empire humans alike fear them greatly.
<gallery> Image:Thunderguts Tribe.jpg|Thunderguts symbol. </gallery>

* '''Crossed Clubs''' Known for producing more Maneater mercenaries than other tribes. Also for lying constantly about everything they do, making up tall tales of glory. Each veteran (veterans themselves being a rarity amongst Ogres) wears gear obtained in their travels and proudly displays trophies earned, making them a rather motley crew of clashing colors and gearschemes (obviously the tribe designed for the greenstuff addict in mind).
<gallery> Image:Crossed Clubs.jpg|Crossed Clubs symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Sons of the Mountain''' Living on one of the tallest and coldest peaks in the Mountains of Mourn, the Sons of the Mountain tribe are wealthy from trading the meat, pelts, and ivory of creatures that live only in their home. Many Yhete are found amongst them, and the Ogres of the Sons of the Mountain paint themselves entirely in white paint and dwell amongst the beasts they hunt directly.
<gallery> Image:Sons of the Mountain.jpg|Sons of the Mountain symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Feastmasters''' Known a generation ago for producing high quality meals (for a portion of the feast), the current Tyrant Blaut Feastmaster captured Halflings from the Moot in his travels. To this day, Halflings fill the role for Feastmasters that Gnoblars fulfill for most tribes. As a result, the Feastmaster cooking has improved greatly.
<gallery> Image:Feastmaster.jpg|Feastmaster symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Rock Skulls''' The toughest tribe of Ogres, who are known best for the skill of breaking boulders with their heads (apparently a big deal among Ogres). They're also known for being fairly unintelligent. When Skarsnik the Goblin waged his great wars against the Dwarfs, he brought the entire Rock Skull tribe with him as support. In negotiations with the Goblins for what they were willing to pay for the support of the tribe, he convinced the Rock Skulls to instead pay HIM for them to fight.
<gallery> Image:Rock Skulls.jpg|Rock Skulls symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Blood Guzzlers''' Inhabit the areas of the Mountains of Mourn known to host more giant spiders than anywhere else in the world. That's...pretty much it. They eat spiders.
<gallery> Image:Blood Guzzlers.jpg|Blood Guzzlers symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Ironskins''' Physically powerful Ogres that wear black gutplates. Known for taking massive numbers of captives, and not eating them, they trade freely with the [[Chaos Dwarfs]], and their Tyrant rides a mechanical mount given to him to provide better ties between the two groups.
<gallery> Image:Ironskin.jpg|Ironskin symbol. </gallery>

* '''Lazarghs''' The single oldest tribe, descended from Groth Onefinger himself. Live closest to the ancient Giant lands, most have mutated in various (non-Chaos) ways and cover themselves with cloaks. Their teeth fall out often, leading them to simply jab black jagged rocks directly into their gums, horrifying even the toughest, most scarred Ogres. They carry bells, and hang them to mark the pass to the Great Maw.
<gallery> Image:Lazarghs.jpg|Lazargh symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Mountaineaters''' Recently, an Ogre named Bauldig Mountaineater conquered every challenge Ogres had to offer him. Climbed Mount Thug, fought every beast, and destroyed Bigstride Peak by burrowing in and eating the heart of that mountain. A tribe of fanboys and groupies gathered to him, each eating rocks and dwelling in caves. The only meat they eat comes from subterranean races like goblins, Dwarfs, and Skaven.
<gallery> Image:The Mountaineaters.jpg|Mountaineater symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Eyebiters''' A clan that controls a series of desolate passes leading to and from many of the Ogre lands. They demand large tributes from any who pass through, and raid all settlements and hunt all monsters within their range. The Tyrant of the Eyebiters has fathered more children to grow into adulthood than any Ogre.
<gallery> Image:The Eyebiters.jpg|Eyebiters symbol. </gallery>

* '''Tribe of Shrewd Fulg''' Basicaply a tribe of Ogres scared shitless of showing the barest hint of rebellion against their Tyrant, Shrewd Fulg, despite him being old and hunchbacked. Why? Because Shrewd Fulg is a slaver who trades his own tribesmembers to the Skaven of Clan Moulder to mutate into Rat Ogres. Even his own bodyguards don't dare to fart in his vicinity.

==Army==

===Characters===
* '''[[Greasus Goldtooth]]:''' The current Overtyrant of the Ogres in the Mountain of Mourn. Gained leadership of his tribe after killing and eating his own father in a pit fight.

* '''Golgfag Maneater:''' The greatest Ogre mercenary alive, and the one all others are named after. He earned renown fighting against the Dwarfs in the World Edge Mountains, eating, fighting and robbing his way into notoriety. At first fighting against the dwarfs of Karak Kadrin, then for them after pissing off his Orc employer by drinking all the booze, then robbing the Dwarf King blind, '''after they paid him'''. Golgfag got locked up by those same dwarfs later. He impressed Ungrim Ironfist by eating everyone else in the dungeon but his oldest friend(who still lost a leg). Ungrim wept that such a majestic creature was being imprisoned and ordered his release. His rap sheet includes: looting on Ulthuan, being decorated by Karl Franz, coining the Ogre slang word for Knights as "Tinned Food", making and losing countless fortunes, and downing more of the dwarfs' most prized beer then most of them have even seen. He's so famous that his title of Maneater has become the word for all Ogre Mercenaries. Golgfag got the title after eating his human paymaster and making off with the gold chests. Despite the name he'll eat anything like any other Ogre, though he especially likes halfling. Golgfag leads the renowned and rather imaginatively named mercenary band "Golgfag's Maneaters".

* '''Bragg The Gutsman:''' Traveling bruiser and executioner. As a young Ogre Bragg found he had a talent for killing shit, naturally knowing where to swing for the best results. Bragg was a fairly average brusier until he forged his signature weapon "Great Gutgouger" from the magical axes of a Black Orc Warboss he killed, which increased his killing ability tenfold. What made him infamous however was his discovery that he could cut around other Ogre's gutplates disemboweling them. Ogres are scared shitless of him because of this, since Ogres' guts are sacred to them and Ogre anatomy means its a long, nearly irreversible and agonizing death as their guts unravel after being disemboweled. Bragg realized he had a good thing going, and left his tribe to go solo, taking his one man murder show on the road seeking battle. He is welcomed by all tribes to fight alongside them thanks to his killing ability, but feared and hated as he inevitably cuts someone from that same tribe open for challenging him, at which point he gets kicked out. Bragg isn't bothered one bit, happily leaving to do it all over again somewhere else. He can't become a Tyrant since no Ogres are willing to follow him thanks to his grim reputation, even if he kills the old one. He wears a black hood like some human executioners, figuring if he's got a fierce reputation, might as well make the most of it.

* '''[[Skrag the Slaughterer]]:''' The Great Prophet of the Great Maw. Viciously attached to his back is a giant pot, which he fills with enemies AS HE FIGHTS. What he misses is grabbed by Gnoblars in service directly to him (ranking them above even common Ogres) and put into the pot. He was the head Slaughtermaster of the Rockgrinder tribe. He angered the Tyrant by cooking their favorite Gnoblar and serving it to him at a feast. In retribution the Tyrant hacked off and ate both of Skrag's hands, had his pot chained to his body, then cast him into tunnels even Ogres feared. He immediately impaled his former cooking tools into his stumps, and set forth. Long forgotten Gorgers attacked him, and they found themselves hacked up and in his pot. After dicing up their leader, the Gorgers followed him as if members of a tribe he leads. He found himself reaching the surface through a cavern none of the Gorgers had ever seen before. He and his followers set upon the tribe, killing and feasting on them all. Upon putting the finishing touches on a lovely dish made entirely out of the former Tyrant, his wounds sans his missing hands healed and his pot and cooking implements were strengthened with the magic of the Great Maw. Now a tribeless Ogre, Skrag wanders the lands of the Ogres joining in battles whenever he can. Welcomed by all, he not only turns the tide of battle but also prepares and cooks the resulting corpses with great skill.

* '''Shrewd Fulg''' Race traitor who sells his own kind to Skaven to make into Rat Ogres in return for having Clan Moulder back his rule.

* '''Braugh the Slavelord''' An Ogre slaver who used a necromantically enchanted chain to enslave both mnecromancer. souls of the dead to sell to necromancers.

===Generic Characters===
* '''Tyrant:''' The head of an Ogre tribe. Rules by virtue of his ability to defeat challengers, and reputation. Anyone can challenge the Tyrant for his position in a fight without gutplates where the loser is eaten alive. These fights are the most common form of entertainment for Ogres. Tyrants have the best gear, the most names, and most children of any Ogre in a given tribe.

* '''Bruisers:''' The subordinates of the Tyrants, and oftentimes future Tyrants come from their ranks. They can do anything they want so long as it doesn't offend the Tyrant or their fellow Bruisers. Like the Tyrant, Bruisers can be challenged to one on one combat. The winner eats the loser, and attains the rank of Bruiser.

* '''Slaughtermaster/Butcher:''' The priesthood of the Ogres, Butchers handle all meat considered the property of the Tyrant, Bruisers, or the whole tribe. Considered a direct line between the Great Maw and the common Ogre, Butchers enjoy a position equal to Tyrants but entirely separate. Tyrants take great care not to offend Butchers lest the tribe abandon him fearing a comet crashing down atop their heads. Butchers are known to kill any Ogres who offend them to feed to the group, or to randomly take body parts from the tribe for flavoring. They carry holy implements, all of which aid in cooking or preparing, at all times. They are larger than any other Ogre in any given group, getting the best choice of meat and consuming it (being a direct link between the tribe and the Great Maw). Butchers do not wear gutplates as a declaration of faith that the Great Maw has got their <s>backs</s> guts. Any Ogre child with a gift for magic, or is seen blessed in some way, is taken by a Butcher and fed a copious amount of meat. As he grows, he is fed things that are poisonous and inedible even to ogres to strengthen his gut (based on the real-life practice called mithridatism - ingesting poisons to develop a resistance or immunity to them) things to make his gut ever stronger to hold the essence of the Great Maw. Most Butchers learn the Gut Magic of the Ogres, being things related to their culture like strengthening the skin of Ogres, tenderizing the meat of (still living) enemies, and causing the earth to swallow foes alive as sacrifice "appetizers". Others learn other magic Lores, all in their belief related to the Great Maw (Lore of Heavens=the comet, Lore of Death=consumption from the Great Maw, and so on). Slaughtermasters are simply the leaders amongst the Butchers.

* '''Hunters:''' Lone Ogres who take the role of a WoW huntard. Usually tribeless, they wander through the mountains and wild in search of beasts to prey upon. Sometimes they’ll even take some of them alive and bring them back to some other tribe as a gift to the Tyrant. A feast will be held in the Hunter’s honor where he will tell stories about his adventures before quietly vanishing back into the wilderness.

* '''Firebellies:''' Strange religious fanatics that worship a volcano called the Fire Mouth. There are three tests. The first is to eat super-hot chili (powerful enough that it's implied to be a laxative, a substitute for boiling oil or both) and keep it down. Then they have to track down and eat a giant firebug that lives in volcanoes. The final test to join the cult is to be dipped into the caldera of the Fire Mouth, eat a mouthful of magma and come out alive. Though, on the upside, those who survive can breathe fire, use fire magic and are almost immune to heat.

===Core===
* '''Ogre Bulls:''' The basic Ogre that lacks any particular rank. Ogres are (repeatedly) described as having a bully mentality by GW (oh the irony). If they want it, they try to take it. If you aren't respecting them enough, or it's been too long since they reminded you WHO gets the respect, they rough you up. The only way to stop them is to prove you're better than them, at which point they'll likely back the fuck off and suck up to you as the new boss (this behavior is reminiscent of Orks in 40k, however Orks tend to naturally follow the biggest whereas Ogres are likely to see "biggest" as a challenge to their own masculinity and attempt to EAT the biggest Ogre, and become the biggest themselves). Generally speaking, most Ogres are dumb as rocks and it takes an extraordinary Ogre to learn lessons. Those that do invariably reach some degree of old age, and probably aren't in this category for long.

* '''Ironguts:''' Ironguts are the basic Ogre, but with armor. They tend to be a bit tougher than their fellows as a means of natural selection, since Ogres squabble amongst each other for gear, so the Ogre who manages to KEEP his equipment is one that can't be challenged by un-armored Ogres for it. The types of equipment varies; for some Ogres, it's the tools from a farm the Ogres consumed (livestock, crops, AND family. Probably the house and their little dog too) bent and tied as weapons and the shield and flattened helmets of the local town guard tied to their limbs for armor. For others, it's a well crated suit of Gromril armor from the Dwarfs who the Ogre has served as a mercenary. Some Ironguts have evolved natural armor, like Ogres who have lived for so long in Nehekhara that the sand has been worn directly into their skin, compacting as they flex until it's almost like they have stone skin. Bruisers and Tyrants have some say as to who is an Irongut and who isn't, as divvying up the spoils of war usually falls to them (if they're giving out any at all). Like Silver Helms for High Elves and Black Orcs for greenskins, Ironguts are the Ogre variety to which most of the race looks to as exemplary of their kind.

* '''[[Gnoblar|Gnoblars]]:''' Small greenskins that evolved to their current state when Ogres moved from the mountains of the Giants to the Mountains of Mourn. Gnoblars have the place of being the singularly most mistreated beings in either Warhammer setting, as Ogres see them somewhere between vermin like insects that are simply a fact of life to deal with, or very low and undepletable slaves. Sometimes as food if there's nothing better around, although some Gnoblars wind up in the position of "favorite hunting dog" as long as the Ogre can remember them. Meanwhile, Gnoblars see Ogres as a mix of living gods and eternal masters. They differ from Goblins in that they are much smaller, and while Goblins have pronounced noses the face of a Gnoblar is mostly nose. This gives them a beak appearance, making them resemble a Jim Henson Muppet character.

===Special===
* '''Leadbelchers:''' Ogres who carry around field cannons as hand weapons, which they will shove just about every jagged object into and hit people with in close quarters like some ginormous shotguns. They are typically seen as rather unhinged by their fellow Ogres, which usually means that they get to be good for a bit of fun. Their cannons also look suspiciously like Imperial and Dwarf cannons (in fact, they do take them after successful fights or get themselves custom-forged guns from the Chaos Dwarves). If these guys don't have at least one scar, such as missing eyes, burnt skin, disfigured faces, etc., they're doing it wrong.

* '''Maneaters:''' If this was D&D these guys would be an ogre adventurer. They can take a variety of special rules and special gear, and make themselves look like the corresponding region they've been working in, such as stabbing feathers into their skull like State Troopers without the headgear, or jabbing sharp rocks into their gums to emulate vampires.

* '''Sabretusk Pack:''' Sabre tooth tigers, but wolves, great for hunting war machines. Though with LD 4 they will run from anything. Standard use is to get a single one and run it into the nearest cannon - If someone focuses it out, they've severely wasted some shots that could've gone to cutting down Ogres.

* '''Yhetees:''' The Ogres frozen, mutant, hillbilly cousins. Got all magical attacks, not really good for much else though. Their models also look even more like deranged chimpanzees than the old Gutter Runner models.

* '''Mournfang Cavalry:''' Ogres on the backs of smaller woolly mammoths (as in "as small as a trebutchet"), great for causing mayhem to your opponents troops. Known for being one of the only things that can scare Chaos Knights.

* '''Gorgers:''' Albino baby ogres who were born without a characteristic paunch whoa are thrown to die in a tribes warpstone caves, but these ones survived by eating whatever they can find down there: such as rats, roaches, rocks [[Grimdark|and each other]]. In lore these landshark troglodytes are supposed to be both insanely aggressive and hungry with high killing capabilities. Tabletop-wise they are also known for being pretty useless... But then again, what do you expect from a emaciated albino loser?

===Rare===
* '''Gnoblar Scraplaunchers:''' Sometimes, a group of Gnoblars get together to fight alone - Most of the times, that will be in huge rabbles of mutant Goblins below even slave status, which won't do much other than piss off a unit of Chaos Warriors, but once in a while, they'll get together, find a woolly rhino and strap a chariot to it, on which a catapult is placed. Unfortunately, Gnoblars can only get to the smallest of objects, as Ogres take all the rest, so it's mostly scrap and stuff they throw about with it... Fortunately, there's a lot of scrap in an Ogre camp.

* '''Ironblasters:''' Same chariot, same rhino, but with an Ogre on top, alongside a fucking big cannon, taken from the Skyholds of the Giants back in the day. As such, these cannons are sorta held as relics in the individual tribes, as much as an inedible thing can be to Ogres. Also known for being ''the'' cannon in the game that can move AND shoot. I'll say it again. Move. And. Shoot. Can also charge and kill stuff as a chariot. Truly, Ogre Kingdoms is the superior WFB faction.

* '''Slave Giants:''' Said people the Ogres stole the cannons from. Also made them into inbred animals and reduced them to sub-tribal wandering monsters. Also still use them for battle, because fuck them, right? Basically the same as any other Giant in any other faction, but here, they are enslaved by the race that destroyed their civilization ''unknowingly'', because Ogres never really kept history like that. Ogres are dicks like that.

* '''Stonehorns:''' A mammoth/rhino hybrid with stone bones, and the attitude of a pissed-off bull in a china shop. Have so great an urge to headbutt ''anything'' they see that only the youngest of the race have any skin on their forehead, which leads to them looking like Skeletor, if Skeletor was made of stone. They eat minerals and meat, so gemstones protrude from their bones like freckles from skin. For some-odd reason, Ogre Hunters use them as mounts, which really doesn't make sense, as the fucking thing can't stand straight unless it's headbutting the ground it's standing on, but no one's gonna complain about having a steed that can literally bulldoze just about anything into the ground. Also, there's the question of how the hell they reproduce since Stonehorns of either gender would be too busy head-butting everything in sight to actually mate. The best guess on how that process works would be that the male has to headbutt the female until she's too tired to fight him before mating with her.

* '''Thundertusks:''' Legends are told about the legendary thundertusk "Fridge" who acompanied a band of ogres through the Empire and coined the term "Fridgereted" for frozen chunks of meat that will keep fresh throughout the winter. Less volatile than the Stonehorn, Thundertusks are used as combined fridge, walking meat and watchtowers, with one or two Ogres sitting on top with ranged weaponry like throwing spears, harpoon launchers held like crossbows and fucking sabertooth-jaws fitted on chains, so the Ogre in question can make the enemy come over to him. Thundertusks are naturally freezy, and makes its surroundings colder by being there. This is quite useful for freezing less tough creatures down, so the Ogres can catch them before they slit their bellies. They even have a frost-breath-like attack for further freezing. Shame it looks like a retarded mandrill fused with a mammoth, but without the trunk. One might find oneself asking how the Thundertusk eats when it has so many tusks and the like in the way. The answer? Well...I don't have one, but hopefully there is one out there somewhere. Edit: Apparently it's a combination of skill, a long and dexterous tongue, and using their tusks to flip the meat of slain prey into the air and directly into their gaping maws.

==Total Warhammer==
Ogre Mercenaries are going to be recruitable for all factions after getting their FLC through Total War Access, with individual locations that they can be recruited from randomly appearing around areas where conflicts and battles occur, as is frankly logical for mercenaries. These mercenary units include thicc dual-wielding ogres, thicc Maneaters wielding a weapon and a "pistol", and extra thicc Mournfang Cavalry. This is certainly just a taste (heh) of the Ogres before the full Ogre Kingdoms factions release as pre-order DLC for [[Total War: Warhammer|Total Warhammer]] 3, which really wasn't that all surprising given the Ogre Kingdoms were always a full faction in WFB while the iffier sorts of Kislev and Cathay were confirmed for 3's release factions instead.

As of November 4th, 2021, they got a trailer, and even got a song with it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Bbp98oMsjA

==Misc Fluff==
* Ogres don't have priests. Butchers and cooks are their holy men. The only interest Ogres have in the faiths of others is in traditions related to eating. This can be awkward when, in the company of a group of Sigmarites for example, the Ogre bodyguard keeps commenting on how he can't wait for someone to die for the funeral feast (even more awkward when he thinks that eating the body of the deceased is part of it).
* Most Ogres wear a piece of armor over their stomach, a gutplate. Gutplates are sort of the equivalent of full plate armor for Ogres, as their most important organs are all hidden behind the large race-wide paunch they have. Helmets and shoulderpads are secondary as anything big enough to pierce an ogre's head and shoulders with weapons would likely ignore the armor anyway. Plus, given their fixation on eating and the god they worship, their guts are considered sacred. Only Butchers and Slaughtermasters eschew a gutplate, preferring to put their trust in the Great Maw to protect them.
* In older lore, Tyrants love their favorite weapons. An Ogre touching the Tyrant's weapon, who wasn't the Tyrant himself, was punished by being force-fed their own hands.
* Ogres enjoy pitfighting, and use it to settle disputes. The winner is allowed to eat part of the loser, ranging from an appendage (such as a nose) to an entire limb. If Ogres remove their gutplates in a pit fight, that means it's a fight to the death where the winner will eat the loser in front of the crowd.
* Ogres are known to collect names. Their first name is usually a guttural sound made by the mother or father upon seeing the infant, the last being their tribe. But anything they choose to add to their name from their life experiences is attached as well. Sometimes these names are less than complimentary words Ogres don't understand like "debased" or "unscrupulous" or "acrid". The result can be interesting ("Gulk 'Scampered Engorged Beareater Bling Topsyturvy Gelatinous' Goldtooth" for example). These names literally strengthen the Ogres on the tabletop, counting as upgrades that came from the experiences they had (also a bit of Orkish "clap your hands if you believe, and it will happen" style magic).
* Ogre Biology is weird. For one their gut isn't actually filled with fat, but rows upon rows of muscle, which lets them crunch up anything inside with ease. Their skin is also extremely thick (literally) which also hints that they likely don't have any feeling in them, allowing them to do cringe-worthy levels of stuff to their outer hides (like piercing them with hooks) that other saner races would rarely do.
** Between cultural/religious and biological reasons, being disemboweled is considered the worst possible way to die for ogres; Ogres only die when all their guts finish pouring out of the stomach wound, and ogres have ''lots and lots and lots'' of intestines, so it's a slow, irreversible, and incredibly painful process. Even watching another ogre get disemboweled can cause a reaction similar to men watching another man getting his balls slowly crushed. Gutplates prevent this (for the most part), so Gut Up, young bull!
* It's possible that the Halflings and Ogres were meant to be companion species in a similar manner to Kroxigors and Skinks. While there are exceptions, members of the two races have an uncanny tendency to get along when they meet. After the depature of the Old Ones left the two species in seperate geographic locations, the Ogres started taking on Gnoblars as their protectorates, which could be related to their affinity with Halflings through the Ogres trying to fill in the void caused by their missing companions with an inferior substitute.

==Crunch(ing and Biting)==
Ogres are a low pop army with lots of fun rules. They're fairly strong right now, so they're increasingly popular. Despite this, most new players don't know much about Ogre Kingdoms fluff so by doing your research you can easily gain some 'ham cred.
Ogres on the charge hit like artillery blasts. Ogres can upgrade their standard bearers to have Gnoblars in a makeshit crows nest on top of them, allowing all characters and the champion in the unit to get "Look Out Sir" benefits. In addition, Ogres get a few nifty weapons no other army gets.

==Gallery==
NOTE: Some of the models below are conversions, but there are official GW models among them. Can you guess which is which?

<gallery>
Image:Araby Ogre.png|Araby Ogre
Image:1.jpg|Beastmen Ogre
Image:Bretonnian Ogre.png|Bretonnian Ogre
Image:Cathay Ogre.png|Cathay Ogre
Image:Dark Elf Ogre.jpg|Dark Elf Ogre
Image:Dwarf Ogre.png|Dwarf Ogre
Image:Chaos Dwarf Ogre.jpg|Chaos Dwarf Ogre
Image:9.jpg|High Elf Ogre
Image:Lizardmen Ogre.jpg|Lizardmen Ogre
Image:Nippon Ogre.jpg|Nippon Ogre
Image:Orcs and Goblins Ogre.jpg|Orcs & Goblins Ogre
Image:Skaven Ogre.jpg|Skaven Ogre
Image:Empire Ogre.jpg|Empire Ogre
Image:Tomb Kings Ogre.png|Tomb Kings Ogre
Image:Vampire Counts Ogre.jpg|Vampire Counts Ogre
Image:Warriors of Chaos Ogre.jpg|Warriors of Chaos Ogre
Image:Wood Elves Ogre.jpg|Wood Elves Ogre
Image:Ninja Ogre.png|Ninja Ogre
Image:Pirate Ogre.png|Pirate Ogre
Image:Female Ogre.png|Crossdressing Ogre
Image:8039787889_96ed2c0f29_k.jpg|ogre Slaan
7180203363 d2bffd50f0 k.jpg|lustrian standard
7176858107 e68eecf828 o.jpg|lustrian bulls
7180207541 159c1f51e1 k.jpg|lustrian bruiser
7362010446_d8e5ba564e_o.jpg|lustrian thundertusk
8815390127 6f698fd585 o.jpg|lustrian "sabretusk"
10800351164 e09f18840b o.jpg|lustrian hunter
Bullunit.jpg|orc bulls
DSC03006.JPG|Cathay
Leadbelcherwip011.jpg|orc leadbelchers
Assdffe.jpg|tzeentch bull
Lizardmen2.jpg|lizardmen leadbelcher
Skaven2.jpg|skaven
Blood Bowl Lady Ogres.jpg|Lady Ogres in Blood Bowl. EXTRA THICC
</gallery>

==See Also==
* [[Warhammer/Tactics/8th Edition/Ogre Kingdoms|Ogre Kingdoms tactica]]
* [[Ogryn]]
* [[Ogor Mawtribes]]

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer Fantasy Battle}}

{{Regions and areas of the Old World}}
[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Ogre Kingdoms]]

Ogre Kingdoms

2022-08-26T13:04:28Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:7CC4:6403:F477:2B18: /* Tribes */

[[File:F8eadd7a4470a5bc529656620e73680f.png|thumb|right|350px|A bunch of lards being dudes.]]
{{Topquote|The gluttons dig their own graves with their teeth.|James Howell}}
{{Topquote|I'll take a double triple bossyy deluxe, on a raft, 4x4 animal style, extra shingles with the shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim.|The average Ogre order when they go out to eat}}
{{Topquote|No voice in our ears but the Maw<br>We relish the sound of its call<br>We’ll plunder and feast on any man, any beast<br>Doesn’t matter, we’ll snack on them all<br><br>The stragglers we didn’t consume<br>Are chucked in our sacrifice stew<br>They scream and they run<br>But that’s part of the fun<br>‘Cause the Ogres are coming to get ya!<br><br>Oh, Ogres, Ogres<br>Chomping on meats<br>Filling our guts with our struggling treats<br>Tearing, chewing<br>We kill for the Maw<br>The power and grub’s what we’re doing it for!<br>Crunching and biting<br>We kill for the Maw<br>The power and grub’s what we’re doing it for!|2=
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Bbp98oMsjA The Ogres' trailer music from Total War: Warhammer III]}}

The '''Ogre Kingdoms''' are a faction in [[Warhammer Fantasy]], although it's really more of a geographical term than a political term, as Ogres in WFB aren't really "united" in any rational sense. In fact, they're spread out across the Warhammer World, some making up tribes that, in turn, make up the "kingdoms," whereas others serve as mercenaries for other factions (although there's not really an in-game way to represent this as of now).

Ogres used to live in the Warhammer World's equivalent to Mongolia, but they were driven away by the arrival of the [[Great Maw]], some sort of literal giant maw that stuck into the ground and makes Ogres really, really hungry. They began to move westwards, ending up in the massive [[Mountains of Mourn]] to the east of the [[Dark Lands]] (which, in turn, is east of the [[Old World]]). These would eventually become known as the Ogre Kingdoms, but Ogres are continuing to move west, working for some forces and invading (and eating) others.

==History==
===Pre-Chaos===
Way back in the early days of the world, the [[Old Ones (Warhammer)|Old Ones]] knew that [[Chaos]] was approaching and they feverishly worked to find a way to prevent it by engineering a race capable of fighting Daemons and winning. They created [[Lizardmen]] to aid them as servants, and set to work first creating an environment to place the race in to live up to its full potential, then study them and decide if they were a success. First they made the [[High Elves (Warhammer)|Elves]], who were too slow to reproduce and too frail to survive prolonged war. Then the [[Dwarfs]], who were incapable of using magic and too rigid in their culture to change fast enough to adapt to [[Daemon]] trickery. Then they created [[Humans]], who were too corruptible. At this point the Old Ones began panicking, and created a bunch of races (so everyone who isn't one of the main groups) all of which were flawed in one way or another (the [[Halflings]] of the Moot are in fact prototype Ogres). Finally, they produce the Ogres. At first they seemed to have all the desirable traits the old ones were looking for. They were as adaptable and fast breeding as man, able to survive all but the harshest of conditions, resistant to mutation, long lived, fairly intelligent, and they could eat just about anything. The Ogres were a half-finished race, though, as the old ones had yet to curb the creature's intense hunger. At this point, the [[Warp Gates]] collapsed preventing the Old Ones from distributing the ogres and using them as soldiers. As such, Ogres, despite being the race theoretically capable of fighting Chaos and winning, were left without the means or knowledge of how to do so. Also, ogres are huge, like, REALLY huge, so them being really hungry is a lot more of a problem than you'd think.

===Great Maw===
{{topquote|The feast is OVER! There's no more food! Go home and - wait, no put me down!!!!|Cathayan Emperor, finally sick of the Ogre's nearly eating his empire under the table|}}

Ogres initially lived in tribes, which wandered the steppes of Warhammer Mongolia following nomadic giant animals which they ate whole. This kept them happy for thousands of years. But as the numbers of the Ogres increased, their half-completed environment was unable to support them. They began attempting to cross the passes that lead to the other races of the world. Nearest them was the Humans of [[Cathay]], AKA Warhammer China. Ogres learned stone-age technology such as "fire" and "wheels" from the Cathayans, and for the first time tasted the meat of intelligent beings: and it was FUCKING DELICIOUS. The Emperor of Cathay, who was apparently an immortal dragon god, used his magic and the mages of his court to pull a mysterious creature from space down into the middle of the Ogre lands where it promptly pulled a Tunguska. Said impact reverberated through the world, with all races feeling the shock (Dwarfs everywhere carved Malachite murals of the event, menacing with spikes of Cat Bone. Elves wrote a sonnet about it, which is actually a metaphor for why Dwarfs are short. Humans made up a myth about a hero fucking the Earth God Ishneros bareback). The impact wiped out 2/3 of the Ogre race instantly, and the comet reached the molten core of the world. The land of the Ogres was destroyed, burned to a crisp and rendered mostly lifeless. The survivors of the Ogres believed that they had been punished by an angry god for their sins (what they think those sins were varies from group to group) and they came to worship the giant crater as the physical manifestation of their God. Somehow, this also caused an unnatural hunger for every Ogre that could not be sated. This came to be the basis for their ENTIRE culture, and also lead to the current "fatty boy" look of their race.
Natural selection came into play as the weak were eaten by the strong. The only Ogres that survived this dark era were absolute fucking badasses with skin that could stop cannonballs and muscles underneath that could crack said cannonballs (cannonball soup makes a great pre-cannon team barbeque dish by the way). With tribes consuming themselves into oblivion and survivors being fed on by larger tribes without end as Ogres could never feel satisfied, Ogres had to find new lands and new meats. Cathay was blocked by natural barriers, so westward they went, tribe by tribe.

An Ogre named Groth Onefinger stepped forth and lead his tribe to the site of impact of the comet. The areas surrounding the hole were dangerous enough to kill even the hardened Ogres, and those that survived found that the pit wasn't just a hole. [[Tyranids|It was a pit, surrounded by muscle and rimmed by teeth. It had no discernible end. It was alive and the dangers around it were simply its intake of breath and respiration.]] Since that day, Ogres no matter where in the world they were born return at some point in their lives to visit the Great Maw, and all Ogres worship it as their deity and adorn their crafts in images of it.

===War in the Sky===
The Ogres became the first race in the setting to cross the natural boundaries of the Old Ones. They carved their way through impassible mountains and ascended the heights, finding new beasts to eat. Ones that were just as capable of eating them, but regardless still new flesh. Ogres once again passed through a challenge that consumed the weakest of their race, strengthening the survivors and their descendants. In the frozen wastes, everything was capable of preying on Ogres, and tribes couldn't rest or take shelter without being consumed to the last. The Ogres that managed to reach the tops of the peaks found rolling hills of a more temperate climate, where enormous herds of succulent mammoths were tended by their cousins, the Skytitans. The Skytitans had a great civilization on top of what is now the Ancient Giant Lands, only descending the bottom when tending to their herds, and carved fortresses and artwork worthy of Elves and Dwarfs into the peaks. The Ogres initially preyed on the herd animals, which were powerful enough that an entire tribe was needed to kill one (and an entire tribe could find themselves feasting for a longer time than thought possible). The Skytitans didn't take kindly to the Ogre invasion of their lands, and fought a war to render the dwindled race extinct. The weapons of war and magics of the Skytitans slew most of the Ogre race in what came to be known as the War in the Sky, but in the end the dwindled Ogres still outnumbered the Skytitans hundreds to one and the isolated, singular lifestyle of the Skytitans prevented them from uniting, resulting in each Skytitan being besieged and eaten (often alive) in his own home by packs of vermin-like Ogres. Soon most of the race was consumed, the last of the Skytitans having become so large and hardened (as Skytitans grew larger and tougher as they aged) that they were indistinguishable from the mountains themselves, with small numbers of survivors banding together and setting sail on fortresses built on the tops of solidified clouds, but where they went and if they survived the journey is unknown. Some Skytitans fled to other lands on foot, most of them devolving and inbreeding into the current [[Giant|Giants]]: monsters that dwell the hills looking for battle and food (in that order), with no art or culture to speak of, and oftentimes goaded (often with large quantities of alcohol) to march alongside Beastmen, Greenskins, and Chaos devotees.

The victorious Ogres enslaved the Skytitan's children, consumed the mammoth herds of the Skytitans, destroyed their fortresses and covered up ancient carvings depicting the Old Ones and their wisdom with grease paintings (literally, paints made of grease and charcoal from cooking fires) depicting great meals eaten by Ogre tribes. The magical radiation that the Great Maw had sent into the atmosphere made the mountain tops dangerous, and with the depletion of most of the Skytitan's mammoth herds, most Ogres continued westward. Those that stayed turned feral, grew fur, and became Yeti (called "Yhete" in Warhammer). With the mass cannibalism that followed the comet impact leaving only the strong and the War in the Sky killing off those who weren't strong enough to survive the massive war, this back to back double whammy meant that the men and women of the Ogres became even more powerful as only the toughest bastards and bitches managed to live through.

===Modern Day===
The Ogres ascended the peaks of the Giants and found themselves in the Mountains of Mourn. Here, they found more animals than they had ever dreamed of. They found Dwarfs (who believe a mountain made of solid gold is found somewhere in the Mountains of Mourn, and thus keep attempting to invade), greenskins, [[Skaven]], and Humans. Ogres kept some Goblins as pets and bred (and ate) them, and within a few generations they wound up creating a new race of servile greenskins called [[Gnoblar|Gnoblars]].
Ogres managed to push the semi-intelligent beings who originally inhabited the Mountains of Mourn (called Dragon Ogres) entirely out, leaving them confined to the Chaos Wastes. They also drove out [[Beastmen]] who had begun to dwell in the lower peaks.

Ogres carved their own territory in these lands out, and Ogre tyrants became more permanent fixtures of tribal rule rather than simply "biggest loudest guy who was still alive in the morning". They fought off any threats that came to the Ogres, among them a Daemon invasion (leading some Ogres to develop a taste for them) and a giant living glacier that the Ogres battled during a particularly bad winter (allegedly living anyway). When Orc slaves managed to escape the Chaos Dwarfs into the Mountains of Mourn, they fought with the Ogres for land and eventually found their way into valleys beyond the notice of the Ogres where they began to build their numbers. At one point the Skaven attempted to invade the Ogres. The resulting battles almost led to extinction among the Skaven, as the Ogres found their way into the tunnels and developed a taste for them.

The tribes expanded, and true diplomacy was born. Eventually some tribes discovered that there was greater gains to be had by being amicable to the smaller races than simply eating them outright (asking yearly tributes from multiple villages on a cycle gave more meat than just eating all of them and if the villagers could get uppity you could have farmer steak and your wife could have seamstress soup to remind the survivors of their place), and Ogres spread throughout the world as mercenaries to be hired by anyone who had goods they could convince the Ogres had some value, and edible foes.

Ogres, by the nature of their creation, are resistant to the effects of the [[Warp]], and of magic. Despite this many ended up swearing themselves to Chaos for different reasons, be it the hedonistic encouragements of [[Slaanesh]], the encouragement for slaughter and trophy-taking by [[Khorne]], the similarity between themselves and the servants of [[Nurgle]] as well as the camaraderie of being part of a tribe that will never turn on itself (besides backstabbing the leader, but that's just par for the course), or the fact [[Tzeentch]] will either do the thinking for them so they can just focus on what they do best or give them spiffy mutations like extra mouths so they can eat even more. [[Warriors of Chaos]] make use of the Ogres as living siege weapons, while the Ogres make use of the Warriors as playthings and snacks.
But Ogres are a neutral race, just as likely to learn to read and write (at a very basic level) so they can peruse wanted posters in the Empire for bandits and vampires, all of which make lovely snacks with the bonus that the Ogre ends up with a decent amount of gold at the end with which he can purchase the clothes of an Empire nobleman (fitted about twenty sizes up) with which to dress himself so he can dine with polite society. Sometimes ON polite society if he's lucky enough to be challenged to a duel while there.
Still others sail the world, becoming pirates and devouring sea monster and crew (and ship) alike depending on who they cross paths with. Still others find employ amongst High Elves, being studied by mages of Saphery between battles against [[Dark Elves]].
Some wander [[Wood Elves|Athel Loren]], growing moss from their backs and their skin hardening like bark until they're indistinguishable from treekin themselves.
Other Ogres are even employed by said [[Dark Elves]], who were so impressed by their capacity for brutal violence they recruited Ogres instead of enslaving them.
Ogres today can be found amongst any group in the world, doing whatever they can, always eating, always looking for more. Sometimes individually, sometimes in groups.

During the [[End Times]] the Ogre Kingdoms were taken over by the Orcs under [[Grimgor Ironhide]] and joined his Beast WAAAAGH! after Ironhide defeated the last Overtyrant, [[Greasus Goldtooth]]. They invaded Cathay and later took part in the last stand against Chaos in a losing effort.

===[[Age of Sigmar]]===
Now named "Ogors" (because copyright), they exist in the mortal realms as the [[Ogor Mawtribes]]. They are largely the same, barring the division of units into “Gutbusters” (on-foot regular ogres and gnoblars) and “Beastclaw Raiders” (hunters and snowy monsters).

==Regions==
* '''Mountains of Mourn:''' Most Ogres are found in the Mountains of Mourn, considered their homeland. Those that wander or make their homes in other lands return, or send representatives, to tell their stories which usually results in some Ogres leaving the homeland and joining them. Sometimes this results in an entire tribe living outside the Mountains of Mourn, but inevitably they will seek contact again with their kin. This is the primary method through which they expand across the globe. The Mountains themselves change constantly, as they are constantly bathed in radiation from the Warp. Many dangerous animals wander the Mountains. To smaller races, these are dangerous beasts worthy of a small Crusade of [[Bretonnia|Bretonnian]] knights, or a party of High Elf White Lions of Chrace, or a hunting party of [[Vampire Counts|Strigoi and ghouls]]. To Ogres, it's either a single meal or a pet. The largest of them are at best mounts. The mountains themselves are full of caves and tunnels that lead to everything from portals to the Warp to Dwarf Fortresses, to greenskin WAAAGH!s in formation, and things ancient and unknowable beyond these; all of which are great sources of meals. Half the peaks are volcanic, half sub arctic. All bother Ogres as much as a bit of rain or sun. Mount Thug is notable in the range for actually being alive, and Ogres have a great deal of respect for those who escape being eaten or crushed by it as they scale its peaks to feed on the bloated animals that live in spaces Mount Thug can't reach. The [[Fire Mouth]] is an active volcano with periodic eruptions nearby the greatest concentrations of Ogres, and they believe it's the bastard offspring of the sun and the Great Maw. The Firebellies are a cult that worship this "god" which they believe is the wargod of the Ogre pantheon. Each Kingdom is ruled by a Tyrant, and his domain extends literally as far as he can see at his place of dwelling. Tyrants as such place a big deal of importance on thrones and hills. Tyrants that manage to gain control of important sites, like the passes that lead to the Great Maw or out to the western kingdoms face constant challenges from other Tyrants, and reap the rewards of demanding tribute (often food, sometimes a percentage of the Ogre pilgrims in the group as meat).

* '''Challenge Stone:''' A large stone found at the northernmost edge of the Mountains of Mourn and the southernmost edge of the Chaos Wastes. When held by the Warriors of Chaos, it is fought over and rededicated from one Chaos God to another. When held by Ogres, they fight to inscribe their tribe symbol on the stone for bragging rights the world over. The two races CONSTANTLY fight over the stone. Currently controlled by the Bloodmaw tribe.

* '''The World:''' Seriously. They're fucking everywhere.

==Tribes==
Ogre tribes are numerous, and constantly changing. Most are named for a notable Ogre in them, or a characteristic common to members. Ogres are not the kind to trace lineages or politics outside their own generation, and as such tribes are a mark of the present rather than past or future (some tribes do manage to defy this, existing across multiple generations. This is a rarity). Tribes change locations, even within its Tyrant's own kingdom, constantly. Memories of the coming of the Great Maw still exist, and it's within the imagination of Ogres that it could happen again one day. As such, Ogres are mostly nomadic and their possessions are few and easily packed. The most valuable thing to an Ogre is his tribe's Mawtooth, a single great tooth and flag which at gatherings of their kind is arranged with others in a circle, making an effigy of their god.

* '''Goldtooth''' A tribe lasting across multiple generations, known to be the wealthiest. Currently led by Greasus Goldtooth(that's Tradelord Greasus Tribestealer Drakecrush Gatecrasher Hoardmaster Goldtooth the Shockingly Obese to you, peasant!). Known for elaborate displays of wealth, like feeding other tribes and blinging out their gutplates. Goldtooths are known for having a large number of Ironguts, and are the most feared tribe.
<gallery> Image:Goldtooth Tribe.jpg|Goldtooth symbol. </gallery>

* '''Thunderguts''' Known for rampaging through the lands of the Old World and taking over towns or taking hostages, then demanding food as payment. They usually end up either demanding more and more, or eating their hostages. Greenskins and Empire humans alike fear them greatly.
<gallery> Image:Thunderguts Tribe.jpg|Thunderguts symbol. </gallery>

* '''Crossed Clubs''' Known for producing more Maneater mercenaries than other tribes. Also for lying constantly about everything they do, making up tall tales of glory. Each veteran (veterans themselves being a rarity amongst Ogres) wears gear obtained in their travels and proudly displays trophies earned, making them a rather motley crew of clashing colors and gearschemes (obviously the tribe designed for the greenstuff addict in mind).
<gallery> Image:Crossed Clubs.jpg|Crossed Clubs symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Sons of the Mountain''' Living on one of the tallest and coldest peaks in the Mountains of Mourn, the Sons of the Mountain tribe are wealthy from trading the meat, pelts, and ivory of creatures that live only in their home. Many Yhete are found amongst them, and the Ogres of the Sons of the Mountain paint themselves entirely in white paint and dwell amongst the beasts they hunt directly.
<gallery> Image:Sons of the Mountain.jpg|Sons of the Mountain symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Feastmasters''' Known a generation ago for producing high quality meals (for a portion of the feast), the current Tyrant Blaut Feastmaster captured Halflings from the Moot in his travels. To this day, Halflings fill the role for Feastmasters that Gnoblars fulfill for most tribes. As a result, the Feastmaster cooking has improved greatly.
<gallery> Image:Feastmaster.jpg|Feastmaster symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Rock Skulls''' The toughest tribe of Ogres, who are known best for the skill of breaking boulders with their heads (apparently a big deal among Ogres). They're also known for being fairly unintelligent. When Skarsnik the Goblin waged his great wars against the Dwarfs, he brought the entire Rock Skull tribe with him as support. In negotiations with the Goblins for what they were willing to pay for the support of the tribe, he convinced the Rock Skulls to instead pay HIM for them to fight.
<gallery> Image:Rock Skulls.jpg|Rock Skulls symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Blood Guzzlers''' Inhabit the areas of the Mountains of Mourn known to host more giant spiders than anywhere else in the world. That's...pretty much it. They eat spiders.
<gallery> Image:Blood Guzzlers.jpg|Blood Guzzlers symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Ironskins''' Physically powerful Ogres that wear black gutplates. Known for taking massive numbers of captives, and not eating them, they trade freely with the [[Chaos Dwarfs]], and their Tyrant rides a mechanical mount given to him to provide better ties between the two groups.
<gallery> Image:Ironskin.jpg|Ironskin symbol. </gallery>

* '''Lazarghs''' The single oldest tribe, descended from Groth Onefinger himself. Live closest to the ancient Giant lands, most have mutated in various (non-Chaos) ways and cover themselves with cloaks. Their teeth fall out often, leading them to simply jab black jagged rocks directly into their gums, horrifying even the toughest, most scarred Ogres. They carry bells, and hang them to mark the pass to the Great Maw.
<gallery> Image:Lazarghs.jpg|Lazargh symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Mountaineaters''' Recently, an Ogre named Bauldig Mountaineater conquered every challenge Ogres had to offer him. Climbed Mount Thug, fought every beast, and destroyed Bigstride Peak by burrowing in and eating the heart of that mountain. A tribe of fanboys and groupies gathered to him, each eating rocks and dwelling in caves. The only meat they eat comes from subterranean races like goblins, Dwarfs, and Skaven.
<gallery> Image:The Mountaineaters.jpg|Mountaineater symbol. </gallery>

* '''The Eyebiters''' A clan that controls a series of desolate passes leading to and from many of the Ogre lands. They demand large tributes from any who pass through, and raid all settlements and hunt all monsters within their range. The Tyrant of the Eyebiters has fathered more children to grow into adulthood than any Ogre.
<gallery> Image:The Eyebiters.jpg|Eyebiters symbol. </gallery>

* '''Tribe of Shrewd Fulg''' Basicaply a tribe of Ogres scared shitless of showing the barest hint of rebellion against their Tyrant, Shrewd Fulg, despite him being old and hunchbacked. Why? Because Shrewd Fulg is a slaver who trades his own tribesmembers to the Skaven of Clan Moulder to mutate into Rat Ogres. Even his own bodyguards don't dare to fart in his vicinity.

==Army==

===Characters===
* '''[[Greasus Goldtooth]]:''' The current Overtyrant of the Ogres in the Mountain of Mourn. Gained leadership of his tribe after killing and eating his own father in a pit fight.

* '''Golgfag Maneater:''' The greatest Ogre mercenary alive, and the one all others are named after. He earned renown fighting against the Dwarfs in the World Edge Mountains, eating, fighting and robbing his way into notoriety. At first fighting against the dwarfs of Karak Kadrin, then for them after pissing off his Orc employer by drinking all the booze, then robbing the Dwarf King blind, '''after they paid him'''. Golgfag got locked up by those same dwarfs later. He impressed Ungrim Ironfist by eating everyone else in the dungeon but his oldest friend(who still lost a leg). Ungrim wept that such a majestic creature was being imprisoned and ordered his release. His rap sheet includes: looting on Ulthuan, being decorated by Karl Franz, coining the Ogre slang word for Knights as "Tinned Food", making and losing countless fortunes, and downing more of the dwarfs' most prized beer then most of them have even seen. He's so famous that his title of Maneater has become the word for all Ogre Mercenaries. Golgfag got the title after eating his human paymaster and making off with the gold chests. Despite the name he'll eat anything like any other Ogre, though he especially likes halfling. Golgfag leads the renowned and rather imaginatively named mercenary band "Golgfag's Maneaters".

* '''Bragg The Gutsman:''' Traveling bruiser and executioner. As a young Ogre Bragg found he had a talent for killing shit, naturally knowing where to swing for the best results. Bragg was a fairly average brusier until he forged his signature weapon "Great Gutgouger" from the magical axes of a Black Orc Warboss he killed, which increased his killing ability tenfold. What made him infamous however was his discovery that he could cut around other Ogre's gutplates disemboweling them. Ogres are scared shitless of him because of this, since Ogres' guts are sacred to them and Ogre anatomy means its a long, nearly irreversible and agonizing death as their guts unravel after being disemboweled. Bragg realized he had a good thing going, and left his tribe to go solo, taking his one man murder show on the road seeking battle. He is welcomed by all tribes to fight alongside them thanks to his killing ability, but feared and hated as he inevitably cuts someone from that same tribe open for challenging him, at which point he gets kicked out. Bragg isn't bothered one bit, happily leaving to do it all over again somewhere else. He can't become a Tyrant since no Ogres are willing to follow him thanks to his grim reputation, even if he kills the old one. He wears a black hood like some human executioners, figuring if he's got a fierce reputation, might as well make the most of it.

* '''[[Skrag the Slaughterer]]:''' The Great Prophet of the Great Maw. Viciously attached to his back is a giant pot, which he fills with enemies AS HE FIGHTS. What he misses is grabbed by Gnoblars in service directly to him (ranking them above even common Ogres) and put into the pot. He was the head Slaughtermaster of the Rockgrinder tribe. He angered the Tyrant by cooking their favorite Gnoblar and serving it to him at a feast. In retribution the Tyrant hacked off and ate both of Skrag's hands, had his pot chained to his body, then cast him into tunnels even Ogres feared. He immediately impaled his former cooking tools into his stumps, and set forth. Long forgotten Gorgers attacked him, and they found themselves hacked up and in his pot. After dicing up their leader, the Gorgers followed him as if members of a tribe he leads. He found himself reaching the surface through a cavern none of the Gorgers had ever seen before. He and his followers set upon the tribe, killing and feasting on them all. Upon putting the finishing touches on a lovely dish made entirely out of the former Tyrant, his wounds sans his missing hands healed and his pot and cooking implements were strengthened with the magic of the Great Maw. Now a tribeless Ogre, Skrag wanders the lands of the Ogres joining in battles whenever he can. Welcomed by all, he not only turns the tide of battle but also prepares and cooks the resulting corpses with great skill.

===Generic Characters===
* '''Tyrant:''' The head of an Ogre tribe. Rules by virtue of his ability to defeat challengers, and reputation. Anyone can challenge the Tyrant for his position in a fight without gutplates where the loser is eaten alive. These fights are the most common form of entertainment for Ogres. Tyrants have the best gear, the most names, and most children of any Ogre in a given tribe.

* '''Bruisers:''' The subordinates of the Tyrants, and oftentimes future Tyrants come from their ranks. They can do anything they want so long as it doesn't offend the Tyrant or their fellow Bruisers. Like the Tyrant, Bruisers can be challenged to one on one combat. The winner eats the loser, and attains the rank of Bruiser.

* '''Slaughtermaster/Butcher:''' The priesthood of the Ogres, Butchers handle all meat considered the property of the Tyrant, Bruisers, or the whole tribe. Considered a direct line between the Great Maw and the common Ogre, Butchers enjoy a position equal to Tyrants but entirely separate. Tyrants take great care not to offend Butchers lest the tribe abandon him fearing a comet crashing down atop their heads. Butchers are known to kill any Ogres who offend them to feed to the group, or to randomly take body parts from the tribe for flavoring. They carry holy implements, all of which aid in cooking or preparing, at all times. They are larger than any other Ogre in any given group, getting the best choice of meat and consuming it (being a direct link between the tribe and the Great Maw). Butchers do not wear gutplates as a declaration of faith that the Great Maw has got their <s>backs</s> guts. Any Ogre child with a gift for magic, or is seen blessed in some way, is taken by a Butcher and fed a copious amount of meat. As he grows, he is fed things that are poisonous and inedible even to ogres to strengthen his gut (based on the real-life practice called mithridatism - ingesting poisons to develop a resistance or immunity to them) things to make his gut ever stronger to hold the essence of the Great Maw. Most Butchers learn the Gut Magic of the Ogres, being things related to their culture like strengthening the skin of Ogres, tenderizing the meat of (still living) enemies, and causing the earth to swallow foes alive as sacrifice "appetizers". Others learn other magic Lores, all in their belief related to the Great Maw (Lore of Heavens=the comet, Lore of Death=consumption from the Great Maw, and so on). Slaughtermasters are simply the leaders amongst the Butchers.

* '''Hunters:''' Lone Ogres who take the role of a WoW huntard. Usually tribeless, they wander through the mountains and wild in search of beasts to prey upon. Sometimes they’ll even take some of them alive and bring them back to some other tribe as a gift to the Tyrant. A feast will be held in the Hunter’s honor where he will tell stories about his adventures before quietly vanishing back into the wilderness.

* '''Firebellies:''' Strange religious fanatics that worship a volcano called the Fire Mouth. There are three tests. The first is to eat super-hot chili (powerful enough that it's implied to be a laxative, a substitute for boiling oil or both) and keep it down. Then they have to track down and eat a giant firebug that lives in volcanoes. The final test to join the cult is to be dipped into the caldera of the Fire Mouth, eat a mouthful of magma and come out alive. Though, on the upside, those who survive can breathe fire, use fire magic and are almost immune to heat.

===Core===
* '''Ogre Bulls:''' The basic Ogre that lacks any particular rank. Ogres are (repeatedly) described as having a bully mentality by GW (oh the irony). If they want it, they try to take it. If you aren't respecting them enough, or it's been too long since they reminded you WHO gets the respect, they rough you up. The only way to stop them is to prove you're better than them, at which point they'll likely back the fuck off and suck up to you as the new boss (this behavior is reminiscent of Orks in 40k, however Orks tend to naturally follow the biggest whereas Ogres are likely to see "biggest" as a challenge to their own masculinity and attempt to EAT the biggest Ogre, and become the biggest themselves). Generally speaking, most Ogres are dumb as rocks and it takes an extraordinary Ogre to learn lessons. Those that do invariably reach some degree of old age, and probably aren't in this category for long.

* '''Ironguts:''' Ironguts are the basic Ogre, but with armor. They tend to be a bit tougher than their fellows as a means of natural selection, since Ogres squabble amongst each other for gear, so the Ogre who manages to KEEP his equipment is one that can't be challenged by un-armored Ogres for it. The types of equipment varies; for some Ogres, it's the tools from a farm the Ogres consumed (livestock, crops, AND family. Probably the house and their little dog too) bent and tied as weapons and the shield and flattened helmets of the local town guard tied to their limbs for armor. For others, it's a well crated suit of Gromril armor from the Dwarfs who the Ogre has served as a mercenary. Some Ironguts have evolved natural armor, like Ogres who have lived for so long in Nehekhara that the sand has been worn directly into their skin, compacting as they flex until it's almost like they have stone skin. Bruisers and Tyrants have some say as to who is an Irongut and who isn't, as divvying up the spoils of war usually falls to them (if they're giving out any at all). Like Silver Helms for High Elves and Black Orcs for greenskins, Ironguts are the Ogre variety to which most of the race looks to as exemplary of their kind.

* '''[[Gnoblar|Gnoblars]]:''' Small greenskins that evolved to their current state when Ogres moved from the mountains of the Giants to the Mountains of Mourn. Gnoblars have the place of being the singularly most mistreated beings in either Warhammer setting, as Ogres see them somewhere between vermin like insects that are simply a fact of life to deal with, or very low and undepletable slaves. Sometimes as food if there's nothing better around, although some Gnoblars wind up in the position of "favorite hunting dog" as long as the Ogre can remember them. Meanwhile, Gnoblars see Ogres as a mix of living gods and eternal masters. They differ from Goblins in that they are much smaller, and while Goblins have pronounced noses the face of a Gnoblar is mostly nose. This gives them a beak appearance, making them resemble a Jim Henson Muppet character.

===Special===
* '''Leadbelchers:''' Ogres who carry around field cannons as hand weapons, which they will shove just about every jagged object into and hit people with in close quarters like some ginormous shotguns. They are typically seen as rather unhinged by their fellow Ogres, which usually means that they get to be good for a bit of fun. Their cannons also look suspiciously like Imperial and Dwarf cannons (in fact, they do take them after successful fights or get themselves custom-forged guns from the Chaos Dwarves). If these guys don't have at least one scar, such as missing eyes, burnt skin, disfigured faces, etc., they're doing it wrong.

* '''Maneaters:''' If this was D&D these guys would be an ogre adventurer. They can take a variety of special rules and special gear, and make themselves look like the corresponding region they've been working in, such as stabbing feathers into their skull like State Troopers without the headgear, or jabbing sharp rocks into their gums to emulate vampires.

* '''Sabretusk Pack:''' Sabre tooth tigers, but wolves, great for hunting war machines. Though with LD 4 they will run from anything. Standard use is to get a single one and run it into the nearest cannon - If someone focuses it out, they've severely wasted some shots that could've gone to cutting down Ogres.

* '''Yhetees:''' The Ogres frozen, mutant, hillbilly cousins. Got all magical attacks, not really good for much else though. Their models also look even more like deranged chimpanzees than the old Gutter Runner models.

* '''Mournfang Cavalry:''' Ogres on the backs of smaller woolly mammoths (as in "as small as a trebutchet"), great for causing mayhem to your opponents troops. Known for being one of the only things that can scare Chaos Knights.

* '''Gorgers:''' Albino baby ogres who were born without a characteristic paunch whoa are thrown to die in a tribes warpstone caves, but these ones survived by eating whatever they can find down there: such as rats, roaches, rocks [[Grimdark|and each other]]. In lore these landshark troglodytes are supposed to be both insanely aggressive and hungry with high killing capabilities. Tabletop-wise they are also known for being pretty useless... But then again, what do you expect from a emaciated albino loser?

===Rare===
* '''Gnoblar Scraplaunchers:''' Sometimes, a group of Gnoblars get together to fight alone - Most of the times, that will be in huge rabbles of mutant Goblins below even slave status, which won't do much other than piss off a unit of Chaos Warriors, but once in a while, they'll get together, find a woolly rhino and strap a chariot to it, on which a catapult is placed. Unfortunately, Gnoblars can only get to the smallest of objects, as Ogres take all the rest, so it's mostly scrap and stuff they throw about with it... Fortunately, there's a lot of scrap in an Ogre camp.

* '''Ironblasters:''' Same chariot, same rhino, but with an Ogre on top, alongside a fucking big cannon, taken from the Skyholds of the Giants back in the day. As such, these cannons are sorta held as relics in the individual tribes, as much as an inedible thing can be to Ogres. Also known for being ''the'' cannon in the game that can move AND shoot. I'll say it again. Move. And. Shoot. Can also charge and kill stuff as a chariot. Truly, Ogre Kingdoms is the superior WFB faction.

* '''Slave Giants:''' Said people the Ogres stole the cannons from. Also made them into inbred animals and reduced them to sub-tribal wandering monsters. Also still use them for battle, because fuck them, right? Basically the same as any other Giant in any other faction, but here, they are enslaved by the race that destroyed their civilization ''unknowingly'', because Ogres never really kept history like that. Ogres are dicks like that.

* '''Stonehorns:''' A mammoth/rhino hybrid with stone bones, and the attitude of a pissed-off bull in a china shop. Have so great an urge to headbutt ''anything'' they see that only the youngest of the race have any skin on their forehead, which leads to them looking like Skeletor, if Skeletor was made of stone. They eat minerals and meat, so gemstones protrude from their bones like freckles from skin. For some-odd reason, Ogre Hunters use them as mounts, which really doesn't make sense, as the fucking thing can't stand straight unless it's headbutting the ground it's standing on, but no one's gonna complain about having a steed that can literally bulldoze just about anything into the ground. Also, there's the question of how the hell they reproduce since Stonehorns of either gender would be too busy head-butting everything in sight to actually mate. The best guess on how that process works would be that the male has to headbutt the female until she's too tired to fight him before mating with her.

* '''Thundertusks:''' Legends are told about the legendary thundertusk "Fridge" who acompanied a band of ogres through the Empire and coined the term "Fridgereted" for frozen chunks of meat that will keep fresh throughout the winter. Less volatile than the Stonehorn, Thundertusks are used as combined fridge, walking meat and watchtowers, with one or two Ogres sitting on top with ranged weaponry like throwing spears, harpoon launchers held like crossbows and fucking sabertooth-jaws fitted on chains, so the Ogre in question can make the enemy come over to him. Thundertusks are naturally freezy, and makes its surroundings colder by being there. This is quite useful for freezing less tough creatures down, so the Ogres can catch them before they slit their bellies. They even have a frost-breath-like attack for further freezing. Shame it looks like a retarded mandrill fused with a mammoth, but without the trunk. One might find oneself asking how the Thundertusk eats when it has so many tusks and the like in the way. The answer? Well...I don't have one, but hopefully there is one out there somewhere. Edit: Apparently it's a combination of skill, a long and dexterous tongue, and using their tusks to flip the meat of slain prey into the air and directly into their gaping maws.

==Total Warhammer==
Ogre Mercenaries are going to be recruitable for all factions after getting their FLC through Total War Access, with individual locations that they can be recruited from randomly appearing around areas where conflicts and battles occur, as is frankly logical for mercenaries. These mercenary units include thicc dual-wielding ogres, thicc Maneaters wielding a weapon and a "pistol", and extra thicc Mournfang Cavalry. This is certainly just a taste (heh) of the Ogres before the full Ogre Kingdoms factions release as pre-order DLC for [[Total War: Warhammer|Total Warhammer]] 3, which really wasn't that all surprising given the Ogre Kingdoms were always a full faction in WFB while the iffier sorts of Kislev and Cathay were confirmed for 3's release factions instead.

As of November 4th, 2021, they got a trailer, and even got a song with it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Bbp98oMsjA

==Misc Fluff==
* Ogres don't have priests. Butchers and cooks are their holy men. The only interest Ogres have in the faiths of others is in traditions related to eating. This can be awkward when, in the company of a group of Sigmarites for example, the Ogre bodyguard keeps commenting on how he can't wait for someone to die for the funeral feast (even more awkward when he thinks that eating the body of the deceased is part of it).
* Most Ogres wear a piece of armor over their stomach, a gutplate. Gutplates are sort of the equivalent of full plate armor for Ogres, as their most important organs are all hidden behind the large race-wide paunch they have. Helmets and shoulderpads are secondary as anything big enough to pierce an ogre's head and shoulders with weapons would likely ignore the armor anyway. Plus, given their fixation on eating and the god they worship, their guts are considered sacred. Only Butchers and Slaughtermasters eschew a gutplate, preferring to put their trust in the Great Maw to protect them.
* In older lore, Tyrants love their favorite weapons. An Ogre touching the Tyrant's weapon, who wasn't the Tyrant himself, was punished by being force-fed their own hands.
* Ogres enjoy pitfighting, and use it to settle disputes. The winner is allowed to eat part of the loser, ranging from an appendage (such as a nose) to an entire limb. If Ogres remove their gutplates in a pit fight, that means it's a fight to the death where the winner will eat the loser in front of the crowd.
* Ogres are known to collect names. Their first name is usually a guttural sound made by the mother or father upon seeing the infant, the last being their tribe. But anything they choose to add to their name from their life experiences is attached as well. Sometimes these names are less than complimentary words Ogres don't understand like "debased" or "unscrupulous" or "acrid". The result can be interesting ("Gulk 'Scampered Engorged Beareater Bling Topsyturvy Gelatinous' Goldtooth" for example). These names literally strengthen the Ogres on the tabletop, counting as upgrades that came from the experiences they had (also a bit of Orkish "clap your hands if you believe, and it will happen" style magic).
* Ogre Biology is weird. For one their gut isn't actually filled with fat, but rows upon rows of muscle, which lets them crunch up anything inside with ease. Their skin is also extremely thick (literally) which also hints that they likely don't have any feeling in them, allowing them to do cringe-worthy levels of stuff to their outer hides (like piercing them with hooks) that other saner races would rarely do.
** Between cultural/religious and biological reasons, being disemboweled is considered the worst possible way to die for ogres; Ogres only die when all their guts finish pouring out of the stomach wound, and ogres have ''lots and lots and lots'' of intestines, so it's a slow, irreversible, and incredibly painful process. Even watching another ogre get disemboweled can cause a reaction similar to men watching another man getting his balls slowly crushed. Gutplates prevent this (for the most part), so Gut Up, young bull!
* It's possible that the Halflings and Ogres were meant to be companion species in a similar manner to Kroxigors and Skinks. While there are exceptions, members of the two races have an uncanny tendency to get along when they meet. After the depature of the Old Ones left the two species in seperate geographic locations, the Ogres started taking on Gnoblars as their protectorates, which could be related to their affinity with Halflings through the Ogres trying to fill in the void caused by their missing companions with an inferior substitute.

==Crunch(ing and Biting)==
Ogres are a low pop army with lots of fun rules. They're fairly strong right now, so they're increasingly popular. Despite this, most new players don't know much about Ogre Kingdoms fluff so by doing your research you can easily gain some 'ham cred.
Ogres on the charge hit like artillery blasts. Ogres can upgrade their standard bearers to have Gnoblars in a makeshit crows nest on top of them, allowing all characters and the champion in the unit to get "Look Out Sir" benefits. In addition, Ogres get a few nifty weapons no other army gets.

==Gallery==
NOTE: Some of the models below are conversions, but there are official GW models among them. Can you guess which is which?

<gallery>
Image:Araby Ogre.png|Araby Ogre
Image:1.jpg|Beastmen Ogre
Image:Bretonnian Ogre.png|Bretonnian Ogre
Image:Cathay Ogre.png|Cathay Ogre
Image:Dark Elf Ogre.jpg|Dark Elf Ogre
Image:Dwarf Ogre.png|Dwarf Ogre
Image:Chaos Dwarf Ogre.jpg|Chaos Dwarf Ogre
Image:9.jpg|High Elf Ogre
Image:Lizardmen Ogre.jpg|Lizardmen Ogre
Image:Nippon Ogre.jpg|Nippon Ogre
Image:Orcs and Goblins Ogre.jpg|Orcs & Goblins Ogre
Image:Skaven Ogre.jpg|Skaven Ogre
Image:Empire Ogre.jpg|Empire Ogre
Image:Tomb Kings Ogre.png|Tomb Kings Ogre
Image:Vampire Counts Ogre.jpg|Vampire Counts Ogre
Image:Warriors of Chaos Ogre.jpg|Warriors of Chaos Ogre
Image:Wood Elves Ogre.jpg|Wood Elves Ogre
Image:Ninja Ogre.png|Ninja Ogre
Image:Pirate Ogre.png|Pirate Ogre
Image:Female Ogre.png|Crossdressing Ogre
Image:8039787889_96ed2c0f29_k.jpg|ogre Slaan
7180203363 d2bffd50f0 k.jpg|lustrian standard
7176858107 e68eecf828 o.jpg|lustrian bulls
7180207541 159c1f51e1 k.jpg|lustrian bruiser
7362010446_d8e5ba564e_o.jpg|lustrian thundertusk
8815390127 6f698fd585 o.jpg|lustrian "sabretusk"
10800351164 e09f18840b o.jpg|lustrian hunter
Bullunit.jpg|orc bulls
DSC03006.JPG|Cathay
Leadbelcherwip011.jpg|orc leadbelchers
Assdffe.jpg|tzeentch bull
Lizardmen2.jpg|lizardmen leadbelcher
Skaven2.jpg|skaven
Blood Bowl Lady Ogres.jpg|Lady Ogres in Blood Bowl. EXTRA THICC
</gallery>

==See Also==
* [[Warhammer/Tactics/8th Edition/Ogre Kingdoms|Ogre Kingdoms tactica]]
* [[Ogryn]]
* [[Ogor Mawtribes]]

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer Fantasy Battle}}

{{Regions and areas of the Old World}}
[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Ogre Kingdoms]]

A Song of Ice and Fire

2022-08-24T15:59:42Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:7CC4:6403:F477:2B18: /* Locations */

[[image:Game_of_Thrones_Title-DVD.png|300px|thumb|WIENER PARTY! WIENER PARTY!]]

{{Spoilers}}
{{Grimdark}}
'''Warning: This article contains so many spoilers we're ruining books that haven't even been released yet.'''

{{Topquote|If you think this story has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.|Ramsay Bolton, nailing the grimdark theme of this series}}

{{Topquote|It matters not from whence the blood flows. Only that it flows.|George RR Martin, Exalted Champion of Khorne when explaining why so many characters get offed}}

'''''A Song of Ice and Fire''''' (more better known as '''''Game of Thrones''''') is a [[Grimdark]] fantasy book series for people who hate fantasy, or at the very least, have gotten their fill of Tolkien pretenders and want something more "distinct". Its central themes include [[Tzeentch|political Machiavellian scheming]], [[Khorne|ultraviolence]], [[Slaanesh|incest/sex with exposition]], and [[Nurgle|everyone trying to survive in such a Crapsack World of perpetual suffering]]. There is also lots and lots of food. Thus it has become one of the most popular series of our generation and its author, [[George R. R. Martin]], has been praised for his highly realized world and gritty low fantasy style. He was even called "the American [[Tolkien]]" by <s>Time magazine</s> gormless idiots who lump diametrically different writers together for no other reason than that they're both fantasy authors, which would probably explain its sudden spike in popularity following the TV show (at least [[Skub|to a point, anyway.]]) The great joke of an actual World War veteran writing fantasy about heroic knights and elves being compared to and contrasted with a conscientious objector who writes edgy fantasy is not lost on most (though its worth mentioning that Martin is as much of a Tolkien buff as any of us, meaning that he didn't write the series as a "fuck you" to Tolkien's work as some might assume).

The series itself is set on the [[Original character, do not steal|totally not medieval European ripoff]] realm of Westeros as it is wracked by a massive succession war drawing its realms into conflict. Everyone's picking up the pieces from the pervious war until one family's bid for power starts another war (book one), A bunch of dudes declare themselves kings (book two), they're burning the continent down in their scramble for power, and somehow all the fuck-ups managed to lose anyway (book three). Just when the guys who lost the least start thinking they get to rule over the remaining chaos, more fuck ups happen and more dudes show up (book four). Sadly, winter has finally come and, unbeknownst to most people, [[Thousand Sons|evil ice wizards leading soulless undead]] [[Alpha Legion|assumed to be only myths by most people]] are about to invade the continent from the north. By the fifth book, things are going and/or will go to shit even for the bad guys.

According to a leaked fan conversation, George R. R. Martin jokingly stated the series would end with an epic cock-slap fight between Samwell Tarly and Jaime Lannister.

TL;DR: [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Roses War of Roses] with a helpin' of <s>cliched fantasy</s> George's old sci-fi writing plots given a fantasy overhaul and [[/d/]]-lite.

[[ASOIAF Miniature Game|Miniature game has their own page now]]

==Characters==
{{cleanup}}
Since these books have some thousand named characters, you won't remember most of them without an obsessive disorder over details.
Here's a relatively shortlist (mostly based on the TV series rather than the books, but seems to randomly switch between the two) for the characters you'll care about. We'll also be making an effort to mostly focus on characters from the main series, rather than historical figures like Maegor Targaryen, the Dance of Dragons Blacks and Greens, and so on. Trust us, given the number of characters we already have to cover, it's for the best.

<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="width:100%">
===House Stark===

''"Winter Is Coming"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Honourable, bro-tier northerners who always [[Space Wolves|compare themselves to direwolves]]. They have a tendency towards [[Lawful Stupid]] that proves to bite them in the ass due to naivete about how [[Tzeentch|Westerosi corrupt politics actually works]]. They're also arguably the protagonists of the setting. Basically Scotland and/or the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_york House of York].
* Eddard Stark, ''The Quiet Wolf'': Patriarch, lord and POV death-puppet. Not nearly as stupid as everyone tries to pretend, but still a dead man walking. Honorable to a fault and deeply repulsed by the politicking that goes on around him, which eventually leads to a mild case of death by decapitation.
* Robb Stark, ''The Young Wolf'': Shiny, [[Lawful Stupid]] King Arthur-like hero. After waging a successful war to avenge his murdered father, he was betrothed to a noblewoman but he ended having comfort sex with a virgin noblewoman which may have been arranged by her scheming bitch mother, while in softcore porno he got the hots for a commoner. Cacks it nastily: he got his head cut off and his pet's wolf's head stuck on his body, which was paraded around while his enemies chanted "HERE COMES THE KING IN THE NORTH!" In other words, he's a Scottish [[Roman Empire|Hannibal Barca]].
* Sansa Stark: Useless teenage girl extraordinaire at the start of the series with dreams of marrying a prince and "having lots of babies", but gets shat on hard by reality. Becomes Littlefinger's replacement goldfish when Catelyn's no longer around, her father got killed and her best friend was sold as a sex slave, and ended up in the worst relationship we can possibly imagine with King Joffrey. [[Grimdark|Even got deflowered via rape by Ramsey Bolton]] and married to him before managing to escape with the help of others. Currently acting as a co-ruler to her brother/cousin Jon Snow, and has learned much from her suffering, allowing her to kick Littlefinger out of the Great Game via throat slitting. While in the book Littlefinger is/was setting her up at House Arryn to claim the Vale and the North, the show version becomes QUEEN IN DA NORF in the final episode.
* Arya Stark: Little tomboy assassin. Has a kill list, but doesn't get to use it so long as she is an amnesiac apprentice of [[Officio Assassinorum|the Friendly Neighborhood Assassins Guild]]. In the books, she's still training with the Faceless Men, but in the show she's broken away from them and headed back to Westeros to get revenge on a LOT of people, giving her one of the highest kill counts in the series. She goes home to Winterfell when she hears that Jon and Sansa took it back and starts acting as a general "troubleshooter" for Sansa while scaring the hell out of everyone with all her new assassin skillz. Kills the Night King like a fucking champion in Season 8, then rides south to add Cersei to her body count. Instead, the Hound talks her out of it and she [[The Lord of the Rings|decides to sail into the unknown west]].
* Catelyn Stark (nee Tully): A woman who trusts the wrong people at the worst time, causing a lot of misery. Gets killed along with Robb, then comes back (books only) as Lady Stoneheart, an undead witch bent on killing all the Boltons, Freys, Greyjoys, Lannisters... pretty much everyone she thinks was tangentially involved in betraying her and her family, or somebody who just pissed her off. The show writers left this part out completely, which caused much [[rage]] and [[skub]] in the fandom.
* Bran Stark: Intelligent little boy, named after the founder of House Stark, Brandon the Builder (basically Tony Stark combined with [[Leman Russ]]). He was crippled in the first sign of major [[GrimDark]]. Has prophetic dreams and becomes a [[druid]]. In the TV series, fucks things up by alerting the Others to where he's hiding, which gets all of the Children, his loyal wolf, the Three-Eyed Crow and Hodor killed. For good measure, turns out to have accidentally ''caused'' Hodor to become, well, Hodor, as he was using his druid powers to figure out why Hodor is only able to say Hodor, resulting in Hodor's gruesome death-by-zombies being beamed directly into young Hodor's brain. He's now the Three-Eyed Raven and likes going around being creepy as fuck and generally weirding people out. Becomes King of the <s>Seven</s> Six Kingdoms in a hilariously nonsensical plot twist in the finale.
* Rickon Stark: Four years old at the start, turning into a real little [[Barbarian]] from not being raised properly, because everyone who would have raised him was dead or missing. In the books, he and his wildling nanny Osha are on the cannibal-infested island of Skagos, and Davos Seaworth is on his way there to pick them up so that the northern lords who are still loyal to House Stark have a figurehead to rally behind. In the show, he ends up hanging out at the Umbers, then is handed over to Ramsay as a prisoner when Smalljon becomes afraid of the Wildlings living north of him (who were invited by Jon Snow to fight the Zombie Apocalypse), and finally dies via arrow in a sick game of "dodge the missiles" courtesy of Ramsey.
* [[Mary Sue|Jon Snow]], ''The White Wolf'': A bastard living in the Stark household before leaving for the Night's Watch (basically [[The Last Chancers|Colonel Schaeffer]] with more convicted rapists under his command) and excels there because nearly every one of his fellow recruits are peasants who have never had a formal days of training while Jon has had the serious training afforded to all lords. After he takes over by becoming the Watch Commander secures and alliance with the Wildlings, ancient barbarian enemies of the Night's Watch, because when the end of the world is coming you tend to think outside the box. Also gets a Wildling girlfriend, but she dies... then a hotter Wildling starts cracking on to him. He's currently dead in the books, but was revived by R'hllor in the series after being stabbed to death by the senior members of the Watch. Isn't actually Eddard's bastard son, but rather the legitimate son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, meaning that he is, in fact, the rightful heir to the Iron Throne. The new KING IN DA NORF according to his supporters after he killed Ramsay Bolton and took back Winterfell, and is also currently hooking up with his own aunt. He turns on Daenerys once he realizes she's lost it and kills her in the throne room, but [[Plot Armor|for some reason her dragon doesn't kill him despite seeing him do the the deed]]. The Unsullied want his head, but instead, King Bran exiles him to the Night's Watch and he fucks off into the far north to live with the Free Folk.
* Hodor: Hodor. Hodor, Hodor, Hodor. <s>An enormous and possibly retarded stable boy, and Bran's faithful steed.</s> Hodor. Ok, in all actual seriousness, this guy is probably one of the most tragic figures in this series (and that's saying something). [[Grimdark|The guy basically received horrible visions of his own death fighting a horde of zombies, buying time for his friends to escape by literally holding the door shut as he was hacked apart]]. This causes him to suffer a mental break, leading him to develop Immature Personality Disorder and making it so the only thing he can say is a garbled version of his friend's last request "hold the door" for all of his adult life; the logic here is that "hold the door" devolves into "hol' th' door" and eventually "Hodor". You now feel bad for at laughing at the guy.
* Osha: A Wildling woman who surrendered to the Starks and becomes their servant in exchange for not getting killed. Now dead in the show thanks to Ramsay's dickery.</div></div>

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===House Targaryen===

''"Fire and Blood"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The former Dragon kings and rulers of Westeros, [[Eldar|fair-haired purple-eyed beautiful people]] who have descended from the [[Dark Age of Technology|ancient technologically-advanced superpower]] of [[Roman Empire|Valyria]], which collapsed because of [[Fall of the Eldar|their colossal hubris]]. After the anarchic [[Age of Strife|Century of Blood]], the Targaryen patriarch Aegon I, instead of reconquering the lost cause of Essos and of Valyria's former empire, looked towards the rather primitive continent of Westeros, and its squabbling Seven Kingdoms, [[Great Crusade|to establish his own Imperial dynasty and unify the Realm]]. Aegon I is essentially the Low Fantasy version of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_the_Conqueror William the Conqueror] and/or the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]], with a little dash of [[/d/|incest]].

[[Rules Lawyer|Thanks to a loophole]], the Targaryens were immune to the moral objections relating to incest. Common sense (and common decency) took back seat to a time-honoured policy of [[/d/|catastrophic inbreeding]], which made a number of problems. Aegon I married his older and younger sisters and had several kids with each, which would be the start of another Targaryen tradition: the occasional succession crisis. The inbreeding would also lead to a line of almost alternatingly great and lunatic kings, culminating in Aerys "The Mad King" Targaryen and a palace coup. Eventually, the lineage was banished to Essos after a brutal civil war, the remnants trying to gather armies to retake the Iron Throne which they see as rightfully theirs. Basically a family of inbreeding girly-men with a massive sense of superiority and as arrogant as they come, forgetting that most of what they accomplished was due to the fact that only they had dragons. Still, they occasionally did have genuinely good people like Aegon V (aka Egg), Jaeherys I the Conciliator, his wife Good Queen Alysanne and complete badasses like Brynden Bloodraven and Baelor Breakspear (too bad Bloodraven is hooked up to Old God wi-fi permanently and Breakspear died before he could become king).
Pseudo-Romans and/or the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Normandy House of Normandy].

* Aerys II, ''The Mad King'': [[Kharn|A pretty fun guy to be around]]. Had a psychotic fascination for fire, which extended to being a psychotic fascination for burning traitors, a category of people that eventually grew to include anybody he disliked for any reason, anyone who disagreed with him, and a few people who were unlucky enough to be caught in the crossfire. [[Goge Vandire|Teamkilled by his bodyguard Jaime for planning to burn the city down with everyone inside it, and even refused to accept his death until he actually died]].
* [[Mary Sue|Daenerys Targaryen]], ''Stormborn'': She was sold by her brother to a barbarian leader [[Genghis motherfucking Khan|Khal (warlord) Drogo]] in exchange for the promise that he'd use his Khalassar (Warband/tribe) to conquer Westeros. She found her self esteem as his wife, then her husband killed her idiot brother Viserys and promised to conquer the world for Daenerys, making her a full-fledged badass barbarian war queen. Unfortunately, her husband died when [[Derp|Daenerys trusted one of the slaves whose town Drogo had pillaged and burnt to heal an infected wound of his]] and his horde fell apart (though the book is somewhat ambiguous as to whether the slave did kill Drogo). Then she hatched three dragons (completely by accident when she tried to commit suicide) bringing them back from extinction, and now everyone wants to marry her because she is now one of the most powerful people around due to said dragons and being good-looking (in the books this is by the age-of-consent in Westeros standards, where girls are women when they start getting their periods and boys are men at age 13). [[Gets shit done]] except the entire fifth book, in which she mopes around about wanting to marry an annoying, flamboyant mercenary instead of saving herself for political marriage. After banging the flamboyant mercenary, she later marries a Meereenese noble who guarantees he can get her some peace (more likely [[Just As Planned|just as he planned]]). She also does nothing while insurgents kill her men, a horde of plagued refugees spread disease to her city and standing idly by while an enemy army besieges her walls, all for realistically political reasons because the world is a horrible place. Learns how to train her dragon. In the books she's just encountered another Khalassar after being hauled away from Meereen by Drogo. In the TV series, she takes over all the Dothraki and adds them to her army, then heads for Westeros to invade the place with her army of elite hoplites, massive horde of Dothraki and her dragons. By the time she gets to King's Landing she's taken significant losses, including two of her dragons, and is fucking her nephew (Jon Snow). Officially went Mad Queen as of S8E5, wherein she burned most of King's Landing after the city attempted to surrender and has decided to "liberate" everyone on the planet, whether they want it or not. Jon kills her in the series finale so that she won't go around burninating the rest of the world.
* The dragons: The three dragons that Daenerys hatched. They're wyverns that breathe fire, [[Awesome|have blood hot enough to melt steel]], and [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|cook their meat before eating it]]. Naturally, some of the coolest things in the story.
** Drogon; named for her late husband, Khal Drogo. Black and red, the biggest and [[Gork|most aggressive dragon]]. Starts eating people and then escapes, leading to the other two getting imprisoned. Interrupts a gladiator tournament, killing a lot of people before being whipped by Daenerys into flying her to a Khalassar that broke off from her husband's after his death. In the show, he's the last dragon standing after Viserion bites it north of the Wall and his undead body is put down at Winterfell and Rhaegal gets shot down over Dragonstone. Takes Dany's body, destroys the Iron Throne and fucks off to who knows where after Dany is killed.
** Rhaegal; named for the first of her dead brothers, Rhaegar. Green and gold, the [[Mork|cunning one]] and the loudest (with a roar "...that would have sent a hundred lions fleeing,"). Kills Quentyn Martell when the latter is trying to goad Viserion (see below). After breaking out of jail with Viserion they go "all your base are belong to us" on Meereen, killing people and taking over the pyramid of a loyal family as his lair. Last seen playing "sack the town" with Viserion in the books. Dead in the show thanks to Euron Greyjoy and some Diabolus ex Machina bullshit.
** Viserion; named for her other brother Viserys. White and gold and the [[Vulkan|friendliest]] (as dragons go, he still eats people). Dug cave for himself in his jail then moved into another pyramid after his and his brother's great escape. Gets killed by the [[Vampire Counts|Night's King in the show via a magic spear, then his corpse is reanimated to be the Night King's zombie dragon steed]] and blasts a hole in the famous Wall, allowing the armies of snow elves and zombies to start flooding Westeros. Now perma-dead thanks to the Night King biting it.
* Viserys Targaryen, ''The Beggar King'': Daenerys' physically abusive older brother. Best known for being a bully with incestuous lust for her, and an arrogant and incompetent fuck with a massive sense of entitlement. He eventually got himself killed for being an all-around jerk and whiny idiot, which culminated in him threatening his sister and unborn nephew with a sword while drunk in a sacred Dothraki place where weapons and bloodshed are forbidden on pain of death (execution is done by bloodless death - having a scarf wrapped tight around the neck and being drowned in a barrel). Daenerys' husband [[awesome|poured molten gold over his head and called it his promised crown, also ensuring his death didn't technically shed any blood in their sacred place]].
* Aegon Targaryen, ''Aegon VI'': Daenerys' nephew, the son of her brother Rhaegar. Been hiding in Essos for the entire length of the series, but recently raised an army of Westerosi exiles and threw them all a massive Welcome Home party with rape and pillage. Wants to marry his aunt because she has dragons, and might not actually be a member of House Targaryen if you believe some fans. He can actually count past 6, can multiply numbers, can read different language and has a minor understanding of geometry thus cementing him as one of the most educated people in this overwrought series. Can also do his own laundry.
* Brynden Rivers ''Bloodraven'': A Targaryen bastard who came to prominence about a hundred years before the series as a sort of sorcerer, he later became known as the "Three-Eyed Raven/Crow" after encountering the Children of the Forest, and uses his powers to help advert the Long Night and train Bran. He's described as having long, white hair, missing an eye, bound to a tree, knows all and sees all, associated heavily with ravens and omens... [[Vikings|yeah, he's very much Odin, come to think of it. Just a lot more of an asshole than the Warrior King of legend.]]</div></div>

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===House Lannister===

''"Hear Me Roar"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">[[Monopoly|Westeros' richest family]], proud, pompous, selfish and fabulous assholes. Not much of a martial tradition but if you cross them [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7t7cnwlOgY they will fucking cut you]. You can tell they are the bad guys because they have an army of sick fucks, including a zebra-riding mercenary band and 7' 8" Khornate Champion <s>not-Goliath</s> Gregor Clegane. House Lancaster combined with the House of Rothschild and the Mafia. Their unofficial motto is "A Lannister Always Pays His Debts"
* Tywin Lannister, ''The Lion of Lannister'': The Godfather, head of the house, and obsessed with his reputation as a Magnificent Bastard extraordinaire. Lawful Evil Personified. He was a most feared general whose greatest achievement was [[Exterminatus|erasing House Reyne from existence]], which was immortalised in his own sweet-yet-creepy-as-fuck theme song (The Rains of Castamere) that became used as a warning against anyone standing against him. During his tenure as Hand of the King (i.e. Prime Minister), he was a political genius who operated as the true power behind the Iron Throne, keeping the realm stable and prosperous despite the stupidity of Aerys II and Joffrey. However, despite all of his achievements, he's an [[Emperor|absolutely terrible father]], who treats his children as nothing more than tools to further his political agenda. He is completely blind to the incestuous relationship his two oldest children had, and hated Tyrion and made his life a living hell for very poor reasons. He humiliated Tyrion whenever it wouldn't threaten the family's reputation, berated Tyrion for being a whore-monger despite secretly being one himself, [[Grimdark|tried to get him killed multiple times]], and as the capstone of awful parenting, he taught Tyrion not to marry commoners after he married one called Tysha - by forcing Tyrion to watch Tysha get gang-raped, forcing him to rape her too and then annulling their marriage. The only person Tywin truly loved was his wife. He eventually gets his comeuppance when Tyrion finds out the truth about the Tysha incident and kills him with a crossbow, all while mentioning that out of all his children, Tyrion was the most alike to Tywin himself. He's based on [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Neville,_16th_Earl_of_Warwick Warwick the Kingmaker].
* Joanna Lannister: Tywin's late wife and first cousin, meaning the next three characters are inbred as well, ironically. Dies giving birth to Tyrion, which is part of why Tywin hates him, though Cersei hates him for other reasons. Caught wind of Cersei and Jaime's incestuous tendencies, but she died before she could tell Tywin. It is implied that her ghost visits Jaime in a dream and mourns the current state of her family.
* Cersei Lannister, ''Cunt Queen'': Tywin and Joanna's first child. Twin sister to Jaime Lannister and wife to King Robert Baratheon. She fucks her brother Jaime all the time and had three of his children, whom she passed off as Robert's to grab power. She is a massive narcissist who thinks of herself as "female Tywin" and hence seeks to rule Westeros as the Queen, and will do anything to keep her power... even when [[Abbadon the Despoiler|most of her plans end up becoming utter failures]]. Crazy as all fuck and prophesied to be killed by the "little brother." This is because of a prophecy a Gypsy made when Cersei was a child that she'd be a beautiful queen, lose everything, her children would die before her, and the "Valonqar" would kill her. Though that does explain why she hates Tyrion as hard as all fuck, [[Just As Planned|the exact translation of the term]] that was used is "younger sibling", and not necessarily her sibling, which opens the door to all sorts of characters who hate the fuck out of her. Since Jaime is technically younger by a few seconds, him killing Cersei would be an interesting twist not without buildup. Possibly the Gypsy was messing with her head because of what a bitch Cersei was being to her, something Cersei never grew out of. Cersei is currently alive only because Varys wants her to be, [[Just As Planned|as she's a terrible queen who'll destabilize the realm enough for him to bring back the Targaryens]]. She was completely shaved, stripped of power in all but her royal heritage and forced to do a nude walk of penance throughout the city by the High Sparrow (ASOIAF Pope- equivalent/[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Luther Martin Luther] except he won the Reformation) after he uncovered her crimes. Now she's waiting for her hair to grow back and maybe thinking of revenge. She gets it in the show by blowing up the Great Sept of Baelor (ASOIAF [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canterbury_Cathedral Canterbury Cathedral]) with everyone she doesn't like inside it, having her cousin killed near the Wildfire, killing Tyene Sand with the same poison that Tyene used on Myrcella and forcing Ellaria to watch, then capturing the nun who was her jailer and [[Grimdark|leaving her to be tortured to death by zombie Gregor Clegane]]. She is in short [[Thanquol]] disguised as a beautiful blonde woman. Gets anticlimactically squashed by a collapsing ceiling along with Jaime during Daenerys's assault on King's Landing. (her biggest issue? Not dying sooner, for the Seven's sake!)
* Jaime Lannister, ''The Kingslayer'': Younger twin brother (by about three seconds) to Cersei Lannister and commander of the Kingsguard. He loves his sister in every sense of the word and had three children with her. Killed the last king despite his oath, and is widely hated for it, even though everyone agrees that dying was a massive improvement for Aerys. The reason for this betrayal was that Aerys had a huge stockpile of Acme Brand Magic Napalm stockpiled under the city, ready to be set off the moment a siege broke through the town walls, and Jaime's options were to let it happen or kill Aerys before the crazy fuck got ''everybody'' killed. His desire to openly love his sister and win the respect he feels he deserves eventually causes Cersei to reject him. Starts off as an arrogant douche who [[Grimdark|tried to murder Bran Stark, but accidentally crippled him instead]]; as the series progressed he became progressively more bro-tier besides the whole wants-to-fuck-his-sister thing, and then later he even grows out of ''that'' as well when he realizes what a bitch she is, gets thoroughly humbled to boot after losing his sword hand and having some time to rethink his life and study the legacy of his predecessors, many of whom were legitimately righteous dudes. (And realizing that there are several other women who are interested in him.) Also, the only person in his family who treats Tyrion well, along with one of his aunts and two dead uncles. Essentially, a more incestuous [[Blood Angel]] - but more douchey, so make that [[Flesh Tearers|Flesh Tearer]]. In the books, he is currently being lured into a trap by Lady Stoneheart. In the show, he has finally told Cersei to get fucked after realizing that she has well and truly lost it, and rode north to help fight the White Walkers. He survived the Battle of Winterfell, hooked up with Brienne, and then rides south [[Derp|because he just can't let Cersei go.]] Winds up getting shanked by Euron Greyjoy and dies [[Fail|via collapsing ceiling]].
* Tyrion Lannister, ''Halfman'': a very intelligent dwarf who is awesome, but hated by all of the civilized characters in the books, except his brother Jaime who treats him well, Jon Snow who tolerates him, and Varys, who at first saw him as an asset, but grew to admire his political abilities and intellect, even declaring him a friend. He seems to do much better when getting drunk with whores, rogues, bastards and barbarians. His silver tongue is one of his greatest strengths (he's witty and good at persuading people) and weaknesses (he's quick with insults and the truth in a city ruled by sociopaths and liars). Tyrion is also one of the only characters with an actual sense of the bigger picture, and an interest toward steering the world toward an outcome that ''doesn't'' involve a [[The End Times|Warhammer End Times]] scenario. Unfortunately, the world's movers, shakers, and those who generally have the power to make a difference are increasingly either a) dead, b) scattered to the winds or c) hate his dwarf guts. Despite the increasing difficulty and fruitlessness of his task, however, [[Awesome|Tyrion still fights]]. After being framed for killing Joffrey, he killed his own father and fled Westeros. In the books, he is currently in exile in the Free Cities, weaselling his way into leading a merc band and trying to sign them up with Daenerys' forces, recognizing her as one of the few chances Westeros has got of fixing its shit (provided she can get her own shit together, which she's having a bit of trouble with). Since characters in this series tend to either be walking tropes, rip-offs of other fantasy characters, or historical people with different names, Tyrion is probably based on the great [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miles_Vorkosigan Miles Vorkosigan] (who was himself based on a few people including Sir Winston Churchill) and is a nod to King Richard III (a deformed but competent king later demonized by historiographers of his era). Even if he is usually the smartest one in the room at any given time, though, Tyrion is still not above having some derp moments. Exhibit A, when Tyrion asked his father what happened to his first wife (right before killing him), he took an ''obvious'' "I don't know and I don't care" response ("Wherever whores go") as if it was the literal truth. (Admittedly he'd just killed his ex and was probably in the middle of some serious PTSD at the time, which is not great for your brain.) The show version eventually meets Daenerys and becomes her Hand only to [[Fail|fuck up a bunch of stuff]] and lose her trust. He sells her out when he realizes that she's gone round the bend and winds up becoming Hand to King Bran.
* Kevan Lannister: Tywin's younger brother, considered "the reliable one". One of the few decent Lannisters, though saying that he is perfectly happy carrying out Tywin's bidding. Tried to talk sense into Cersei and was later called in to try and fix her mess. He did such a good job of it that Varys decided to personally thank him. With a crossbow. And a group of knife-wielding children. In the show he dies with the rest of the crowd when the Great Sept got nuked by Cersei - the manner of his book death was given over to Grand Maester Pycelle at the exact same time.
* Lancel Lannister: Kevan's son, Tywin's nephew and Tyrion, Jamie and Cersei's cousin. A callow, spoilt but well-meaning nobleman. Pretty much Joffery but mentally stable, not sadistic and capable of compassion and honor. Enters a sexual relationship with his cousin Cersei when Jamie is captured, which Tyrion uncovers and uses to blackmail Lancel into spying for him. He later has a religious experience after nearly dying and joins the Poor Fellows of the Faith of the Seven, gives up his incestuous relationship and tries to convert several of his family members (somewhat successfully with Kevan, unsuccessfully with Cersei). Still alive in the books. In the show, he reports Cersei to the High Sparrow (rather than the High Sparrow cleverly uncovering Cersei's plan and trapping her) and dies horribly. Cersei deliberately set him up for a particularly agonizing and drawn-out end; he's lured into a catacomb under the sept that contains a massive cache of wildfire, gets his spinal cord severed so he can't walk, and is left where he can see candles sitting in a pool of wildfire just a little too far away for him to reach it in time, so that he [[Grimdark|spends his last moments vainly trying to avert a horrible catastrophe before being incinerated]].
* Cersei and Robert's (actually Jaime's) children:
** Joffrey Baratheon: Spoiled brat and sociopath to the extreme. He's basically [[Sigvald]] during his teenage years (and likely inspired [[Phil Kelly|Kelly]] to make the character Sigvald). "Heir" of the throne, and the technical king of Westeros during the War of the Five Kings since he lives in King's Landing and sits on the throne. Turned out to be worse than Aerys. He died and there was much rejoicing. [[Fail|Except by his mother, who instead had sex on his corpse]]. Fourteen years old at the time of his death.
** Tommen Baratheon: The new king on the Iron Throne. Nine years old. Married to a teenaged shotacon wife who's (unknown to him) the granddaughter of his brother's true killer. Trying to litigate the criminalization of beets. Loves [[Cats|kittens]]. He's pretty well-rounded and non-fucked up, which is a miracle considering his parents, both putative and biological. Also seems to be trying to take kinging seriously, but his mom is trying to quash that in her subliminal attempt to hold power indefinitely, so whether it holds is another matter entirely. Prophesied to die before Cersei, which is doubly tragic due to his age and being a much better person than her. In the show, he commits suicide after Cersei blows up the Great Sept (head office of the fantasy knockoff Church of England), killing his godfather, great-uncle, wife, and all his religious friends, because of course her power hunger was more important than his happiness and well being.
** Myrcella Baratheon: Princess, and Cersei and "Robert's" second oldest child. Ten years old. In the books, she had her face fucked up because of Arianne Martell's amateur intrigues, which overlapped with poor planning, general stupidity, and another guy's backstabbing. Before the maiming, she was quite decent and non-evil. Who knows how she'll turn out now with half of her face cut off. Also prophesied to die before Cersei. In the show, she had a crush on Oberyn's surviving nephew but was killed by Elia in revenge for Oberyn's death, but alive in the books though missing an ear. Also, the readership all got on George's balls for maiming this girl, mostly because it was a sign that he had run out of ideas and was basically just milking Diabolus ex Machina ([[Just As Planned|or that's what he wants us to think]]).
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===House Baratheon===

''"Ours is the Fury"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Ascended to the Iron Throne after a successful rebellion against the Mad King Aerys II Targaryen. Produces no less than three claimants to the succession, each one very different from the other. Technically a cadet branch of House Targaryen as their founder Orys was allegedly a Targaryen bastard, who took the original Storm Kings (House Durrandon) deer sigil after killing the last one and fucking his only child Argella and then 200 odd years later, King Egg's daughter married their grandfather. They're pretty much the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Plantagenet House of Plantagenet].
* Robert Baratheon, ''The Usurper'': Fat, old, former badass who led the rebellion, and now the king who married Cersei Lannister. Then he fucked a bunch of other women and had lots of illegitimate kids. He was killed while mixing boar hunting and drinking, but whether this death was planned or not is uncertain. On the surface, a king with a thing for easy laughs and partying; right underneath the surface, he's irresponsible and leaves the actual ruling of a nation to his staff, deeper under the surface he's pretty much a sad, lonely old bro who would rather not have been king. Comparable to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_IV_of_England Henry IV], in that both were powerfully built military geniuses who overthrew the existing monarchy and later succumbed to an unhealthy lifestyle.
* Stannis '''The Mannis''' Baratheon: Robert's younger brother, an all-around badass who swings between [[Lawful Stupid]] (more so in the show than the books) and [[gets shit done|getting shit done]]. [[Judge Dredd|believes so strongly in the rule of law]] that he feels compelled to take the Iron Throne for himself despite wanting nothing to do with it. Is advised by a priestess of the God of light, Melisandre, and a lowborn smuggler named Davos Seaworth raised to knighthood and nobility. [[C.S Goto|His character is ruined in the show into an incompetent pawn of Melisandre and gets killed off just because one of the showrunners didn't like him]].
** Shireen Baratheon: Stannis's kid daughter. The sweet, charming, and intelligent little lady who was left with a deformity on her face from a disease called greyscale. Teaches Davos how to read, and is probably the most innocent person in the series alongside Tommen, Myrcella and a few others. Being the grim and dark universe A Song of Ice and Fire is, however, this means that she's likely going to end up becoming fuel for a vicious fire god. In the show she does, but in the books, she is safe and sound since Stannis isn't stupid enough to bring him with her while campaigning. His wife, on the other hand, being such an idiotic fanatical pyromaniac... well, her odds aren't exactly looking that great.
* Renly Baratheon, ''That Gay Guy'': Robert and Stannis's youngest brother. Took Loras Tyrell (a.k.a. Knight of Flowers, Pretty Boy, etc.) as his lover. Decided he was better suited to be king, though the bizarre and outdated laws of the land stated Stannis was next in line (though Joffrey and then Tommen were first since they were [[Pretend|officially]] Bobby B's legitimate kids). Was hugely popular since he had Robert's charisma, which led to him getting the most support, but he lacked Stannis's conviction and devotion to the duty of actually doing the work of a king, or even Robert's ability to wage war. Killed by Melisandre with some "help" by Stannis ''The Mannis'' for trying to steal his crown, though in the books Stannis may not have been completely aware of the role he played in Renly's death. He's basically [[That Guy]] of ASOIAF, since quite a lot of shit is his fault, indirectly or otherwise.
*Gendry Baratheon, the Bastard Son. One of Robert's many, many bastard children, and the one who gets the most page and screen time. He starts out as a humble blacksmith in King's Landing, who first comes to Ned's attention when Lord Stark is investigating the death of Jon Arryn. From there, he gets shipped off to the Night's Watch to avoid the imminent purge of Robert's bastards and winds up becoming friends with Arya and Hot Pie. After some adventuring and sexual tension with Arya (at least in the show), he joins the Brotherhood Without Banners. In the show, they sell him to Melisandre so she can use him for a blood magic ritual, while in the books he just goes on being a smith and doesn't get involved in anything particularly weird or shady. He's helping run an inn as a Brotherhood front/orphanage when he reappears in the books, but in the show, Ser Davos sets him free and tells him to fuck off, which he does for a few seasons. He eventually turns up back in King's Landing, where Davos finds him and recruits him (and his comically oversized LARPing hammer) for Team Snow. He helps Jon capture a wight to show Cersei, makes dragonglass weapons for the Army of the Living, hooks up with Arya, and fights in the Battle of Winterfell, after which Daenerys legitimizes him as the new lord of House Baratheon.</div></div>

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===House Tully===

''"Family, Duty, Honor"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> Lords of the central riverlands. Being the obligatory central nation they spend a lot of the series being fought over like a cake in between fat kids. Basically Poland/the Netherlands, given they have so many rivers and how hard they've been fucked over.
*Edmure Tully: Basically the SoIaF universe's eternal butt monkey (because he happens to be a decent fucking person). Despite being an okay guy, he's also a useless ponce with a dense streak a mile wide and a bad habit of bragging about things he shouldn't be proud of. It took hanging in a stockade for a few months to make him experience some growth. When Jaime was brought in to unfuck the situation and end the siege at Riverrun, Jaime's "negotiation" pressured him into convincing his house to surrender, but he made sure [[Troll|that Brynden got out first]]. In the books, he's currently spending his days at the Lannister house as a hostage to make sure that the Tullys don't try to ruin the situation again. In the show, he disappears until the final episode, where he tries to make a case for himself as king only to get shut down by Sansa.
*Lord Hoster Tully: In GoT the only act he committed of any note was to die. In the books however he is arguably, though inadvertently, the most destructive character once you've delved into his history. The man looked down upon peasants, cripples, bastards, and broken things, which influenced his daughters and primed them for their mistreatment of such through their travels (especially Catelyn's immediate suspicion of Tyrion, [[What|despite the charge and evidence making little sense, but because he's a "Monster" of course he must have done it]]). He denied Tywin's offer to marry Tyrion to Lysa for said reasons, but he also denied Lysa to marry Petyr because of his low birth and her value of being married off to a higher bidder, even if their age differed by at least 50 years and she was pregnant with Petyr's child. He responded to this pregnancy by forcefully aborting the child via drinking Moon Tea, without her knowledge (something he would have nightmares about approaching his death). Not only did this nearly cause her death, but it destroyed her reproductive system resulting in 5 miscarriages and 2 stillbirths (an event that would lead her to aggressive paranoia so fervent that she killed her husband to prevent being separated from her only living child). All of these actions unfortunately spiraled into helping cause The War of the Five Kings.
*Brynden Tully ''the Blackfish'': He didn't catch the memo that he was part of the joke faction, and proceeds to spend the entire series fucking Lannister shit up and generally being a boss. Thought to be the black sheep in a family of fish. (Thus "Blackfish", geddit?) Ended up holed up in Riverrun, and got the fuck out right before the end of the siege, so that the Lannisters couldn't dick him over as a prisoner (or so he can keep dicking them over before he became a prisoner). Also widely accepted by the fans to be a closeted homosexual. In the HBO show, he gets killed when resisting arrest from Tully forces by order of Edmure. [[Rage|And it happens offscreen.]]</div></div>

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===House Arryn===

''"As High as Honor"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Mountain lords turned [[NEET|neurotic shut ins]]. Goes through lords about as quickly as you would expect a castle equipped with a door that opens into empty air. Basically Switzerland/Afghanistan, seeing as how they stayed neutral in the War of Five Kings, their land is covered by nothing but mountains, and they're constantly fighting with the local tribes. They were being entertainingly screwed over by Littlefinger until his death.
*Jon Arryn: Only appears posthumously and is the catalyst for the whole plot. Used to be a foster father of sorts to Robert Baratheon and Eddard Stark. The true mastermind behind Robert's Rebellion was killed by Littlefinger via Lysa when he figured out that Robert's kids are bastards of Cersei and Jaime. His death was blamed on the Lannisters to destabilize Westeros.
*Lysa Arryn: Loli bride turned Lady of the Vale after the Lannisters forcibly retired her husband from life, at least officially. In reality, Littlefinger convinced her to poison her husband and blame the Lannisters [[Just As Planned|which pretty much started this whole clusterfuck to begin with]]. A closeted, crazy woman who spends the entire series in her castle "the Eyrie" being useless, breastfeeding her own son at age 10, obsessing over Littlefinger's cock, and [[Derp|refusing to help her sister and nephew in the war she and Littlefinger pretty much started]], which may have guaranteed their eventual horrific murders by their enemies. Finally gets her comeuppance when Littlefinger kicks her out the moon door (post-taunting, of course), putting her out of our collective misery. Long live the Lord Protector.
* Robert Arryn: ''Littlefuck'', Lysa's equally mentally unstable autistic son, who still sucks on his mom's tit and enjoys seeing people "fly" out the moon door to their deaths. He actually seems to be a bit smarter than you would first think and is a really, really good judge of character, except with Sansa. Secretly being poisoned by Littlefinger and Sansa so she can take over the Vale and North. Named Robin in the show because the showrunners were afraid that having two characters with the same name would be too confusing. The show version doesn't get poisoned but turns up in the series finale as the Lord of the Vale.</div></div>

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===House Greyjoy===

''"We Do Not Sow"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">[[Awesome|A house founded by Cthulhu-worshipping Norscans]]. While not actual Vikings in any sense of the word, there is little other way to describe them. They live on some islands off the coast of Westeros and almost their entire culture is based around raiding and the ocean. Their religion holds it shameful for a man to pay for personal possessions, and states they have to get things either by trade, washing up from the ocean or the "Iron Price": seizing something from the body or belongings of someone he defeated in battle rather than paying or trading for it. Also, only possessions acquired via the Iron Price command respect among the Ironborn. As an interesting bit of trivia, their local variety of baptism is to be ritually drowned in seawater and resuscitated by their priests.
*Balon Greyjoy: Asshole dad, crappy ruler, and general shithead who rebelled against Robert Baratheon and failed miserably. All of his sons were killed, except for Theon, who was taken as a hostage to ensure his good behaviour. Despite being in a position to join either the Lannisters or the Starks during the War of Five Kings and thereby get whatever he wanted from either (independence and the North, or independence and Casterly Rock, respectively), he does the absolute stupidest thing possible and declares himself independent without support from anyone, attacking the North and the rest of Westeros, thereby virtually guaranteeing that he'll be on the receiving end of another one-sided battle once everyone else has sorted their shit out. In the book he at least tried to make one alliance but it was with the freaking Lannisters and not the other Kingdom seeking independence. Never got that far, though, since he was pushed off a bridge during a storm by an assassin his brother Euron sent.
*Victarion Greyjoy: Admiral of the Iron Fleet. [[Gets shit done]] while wearing [[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Lokhir Fellheart's]] armour during boarding actions. Does it for vengeance, the lulz and as a ticket to Ironborn heaven (which they believe men can reach if they die in battle or by drowning). Worships both R'hllor and the Drowned God. For all his badassery, is far too stupid to realize that his black Red Priest sidekick's constant rambling about his "great destiny" is inevitably going to end in his burning to death on a sacrificial pyre. Said Red Priest impressed Victarion by surviving being marooned at sea for 3 weeks and turning Victarion's infected arm into a super-strong volcano arm. Seriously. Isn't in the show, which is lame.
*Aeron Greyjoy ''Damphair'': A priestly Alan Moore who drank seawater. Once a fun-loving party animal, he nearly drowned during the Greyjoy Rebellion and became a dour and devout priest of the Ironborn [[Cthulhu]] religion. Confirmed to have been raped by Euron when they were kids. Planned to overthrow Euron, who bribed and manipulated his way into becoming king of the Ironborn. As of the excerpts from the sixth book, he [[Grimdark|Was captured by Euron and tortured to try and make him renounce his faith, including feeding him spoiled food, drugging him and burning him. Later Euron tied Aeron, naked, to the prow of Euron's ship alongside Euron's tortured, pregnant former lover because she showed Aeron kindness by once giving him proper food]]. He tried to console her by saying their suffering will end in underwater Valhalla, [[Awesome|showing Euron failed to make him deny his faith]]. Also left out of the show.
*Theon Greyjoy: Son of the Lord/King of the Iron Islands. Had the personality of a stereotypical high school jock, being an excellent archer and womanizer and proud of it. He was given to Ned Stark by his father after Balon failed to successfully rebel against Robert Baratheon. Swore an oath to Robb, but then ditched him out of a desperate need to please his father. Ends up castrated and acts as the personal slave of Ramsay Bolton after Ramsay puts him through horrific torture to turn him into Reek. Rescued by his sister, but the psychological trauma meant it took a while before he could stop calling himself Reek and start getting back to normal mentally (physically he's now missing a few parts that don't heal or grow back). He's just been reunited with his sister in the books, but is dead in the show, thanks to charging the Night King by himself while protecting Bran.
* Asha Greyjoy: Theon's older sister and a commander of some renown which is quite a feat - almost every man on the Iron Islands except her father either tried to get in her pants or told her to [[-4 STR|stop playing around and go do some actual women's work]], before she kicked enough ass that they respected her. Rescues Theon after he escapes Ramsay but then loses him to Stannis. Is named Yara in the show because the showrunners thought her name sounded too similar to Osha the wildling chick and is also apparently [[PROMOTIONS|bisexual]]. Eventually becomes Lady of the Iron Islands in the show because she's the last Greyjoy standing.
*Euron Greyjoy ''Crow's Eye'': A [[Chaos|sick fuck Lovecraftian pirate armed with unnatural sorcerous powers, so evil]] that Balon banished him from the Iron Islands. Every member of his crew is a mute because Euron ripped all their tongues out. Many of them are also the illegitimate sons of women he's raped around the world during his raids. Uses an eyepatch to conceal a pitch-black eye, his personal "obviously a villain" mark. Raped his brother Victarion's wife, then claimed she wanted it so Victarion had to kill her. Raped his younger brother Aeron. Also showed back up in the Iron Islands the day after Balon died, despite having been raping and pillaging in Essos before that, which is suspicious as fuck. Now the new Iron King. Plans to conquer Westeros and has some unknown plan to deal with Daenerys. Revealed in the book ''Winds of Winter'' to be [[Honsou|the sickest fuck in an entire setting of sick fucks (and that's saying something)]], including having a god complex while hating religion so much he [[Grimdark|tortures any clergymen he captures to try and make them give up their faiths using ironic tortures themed around their religions - such as preachers have their tongues cut out and burning priests of the fire god to death]]. Euron tried and failed to break his priest brother Aeron's faith so he lashed Aeron to the front of his ship to die [[Grimdark|alongside Euron's own pregnant lover Falia]]. In the show he's just a psycho pirate turned king without any magic powers or gear who wants to bang Cersei and Jaime kills him in the second-to-last episode. </div></div>

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===House Tyrell===

''"Growing Strong"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Lords of Highgarden, backstabbers par-excellence, and owners of a lot of fertile land. Unlike the current lot of Lannisters they understand the value of good PR, balancing ruthlessness with being somewhat amicable, political savvy and not being stuck-up on honour. They're basically France. [[Fail|Unfortunately, they've all been wiped out in the show]].
*Mace "The Ace" Tyrell: Lord of Highgarden. Massively fat and overweight, while being stupid, overreaching and constantly mocked by everyone else, he's otherwise known as a friendly man, a good Lord when it comes to management and a good father; unfortunately, this isn't enough to save a man in the Game of Thrones. Gets killed with the rest of the noble houses when Cersei blows up the Great Sept of Baelor.
*Olenna Tyrell: The brains behind House Tyrell's schemes. Known as the ''Queen of Thorns'' for being an outspoken, prickly and venomous old lady. Schemed with Littlefinger to have Joffrey killed, but she carried it out with compressed powder "gems" hidden in Sansa's hairnet that poisoned his wine. Now she keeps her family in line and is hailed as a more progressive version of Tywin. Became a fan-favorite for constantly dropping awesome one-liners and calling out smug and/or unpopular characters like Littlefinger and the Sand Snakes. [[Fail|Killed off in the show]] as Jaime gives her the option of drinking painless poison or whatever Cersei wanted to do to her after beseiging Highgarden. Olenna took the poison, and before she died [[Awesome|revealed to Jaime that she was the one who killed Joffrey and told him to make sure Cersei knows it]].
*Willas Tyrell: Mace Tyrell's eldest son and heir, crippled at a very young age when jousting against Oberyn Martell. Surprisingly, he and Oberyn are still bros, even though the rest of their Houses aren't very fond of each other because of this incident. Probably one of the most pleasant and sensible characters in the books, which might explain why he's yet to make an appearance in the TV show. Very fond of breeding animals, especially horses.
*Garlan Tyrell ''The Gallant'': Second-born son. Badass extraordinaire considered one of the best swords in Westeros, and one of the few people kind to Tyrion. Trains for real combat (often against multiple opponents by himself) unlike Loras, who's a tourney fighter. Single-handedly wrecks many notable knights fighting for Stannis during the War of The Five Kings. And he is the only person other than Tywin to put Joffrey in his place, at his own wedding. Sadly no POV chapter yet and omitted from the TV series (Loras takes credit for his deeds).
*Loras Tyrell ''The Knight of Flowers'': The Tyrell who appears most in the TV series, since his older brothers got adapted out. Considered to be an example of the perfect knight, despite his youth. Is secretly Renly's gay lover and conspired to take the throne with him and his sister. Last seen badly injured in the books attempting to take Stannis' castle. In the show he ends up tortured by the members of the Faith for being gay [[C.S Goto|because the showrunners retconned them to hate gay people]], [[Protectorate of Menoth|later joins their ranks of questionable willingness]], then dies when Cersei blows up the Sept of Baelor.
*Margaery Tyrell: The would-be Queen of Westeros, she has married, in order, Renly Baratheon (gay), Joffrey Baratheon (evil), and Tommen Baratheon (8 years old) and has been crowned as queen three times. While she is nice, she is capable of manipulation. In the show, she marries and uses sex to control Tommen. Was arrested by the resident Chamber Militant The Sparrow and asked for a trial by faith in the books. In the show, this also happens but she tries to be pious in an attempt to save herself but ended up getting killed when Cersei blew up the Sept of Baelor.
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===House Bolton===

''"Our Blades Are Sharp"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The Starks' most important (and most despised) vassal, a former arch-rival made of [[Grimdark]] because their entire theme [[Dark Eldar|revolves around Torture]]. Their sigil is a flayed man, their castle is [[Commorragh|a complex of eternal suffering called the Dreadfort]], and just look at their House motto... which shows how stupid the Starks were for allying with them.
*Roose Bolton, ''The 'Leech Lord'': A Lawful Evil sociopathic health nut who's called the Leech Lord because he gets leeched regularly, believing they get rid of bad blood. Second-most powerful Lord in the North with ambitions to depose the Starks. Since the Starks are unable to think like crafty people and are blinded by honour this doesn't prove too difficult. He gets his wish when he stabs Robb Stark in the back, at his uncle's wedding no less, and has anyone associated with Robb killed. He then makes over Winterfell in his bloody image and is currently trolling Stannis. Believes in the abolished practice of "[[Rape|Droit du seigneur]]" (a tradition that allowed a lord to have sex with subordinate women, whether they wanted to or not) and killed at least one man for trying to hide his wife from Roose (before fathering Ramsay with her via rape). Believed that he and his son could be as evil as they wanted as long as no one found out. Killed by Ramsey in the show, which Ramsay tried to cover with a lie despite the witnesses to his actions. May also be dead in the books, since the letter Jon receives from Winterfell in book five is addressed from Lord Ramsay Bolton.
*Ramsay Snow/Bolton: The bastard son of Roose Bolton and a peasant woman he raped [[Grimdark|(under the hanging corpse of the woman's husband, for fuck's sake!)]]. One of the most fucked up people in all of the Seven Kingdoms (alongside the original Reek, the paedophile marauder Rorge and Euron), because he [[Dark Eldar|loves to torture and kill people openly for the lulz]], such as Theon Greyjoy, who he crippled, knocked his teeth out, castrated, and brainwashed into calling himself Reek. Reek was originally a peasant appointed to try and control a young Ramsay, but instead Ramsay warped him into a mentally unstable necrophiliac before killing Reek to fake his death, but Ramsay seemed to hold some twisted affection for him. He also sent Theon's severed appendage to Theon's dad in a cutesy box with a letter mockingly detailing his evilness. Will torture anyone who points out his illegitimate heritage even though now he's legally recognized as a Bolton. Also has a pack of hunting dogs he names after women he hunts, rapes and kills. Married a fake Arya Stark and regularly mistreats her, including forced bestiality. Not a fun guy to be around. The only reason he's gotten away with it for so long (as pointed out by his father) is that no one is strong enough to stand up to him yet, but [[Powder Keg of Justice|when they are]] he's going to be killed. In the show, he killed his father with a knife, fed his stepmother and newborn half-brother to his dogs, then married Sansa Stark and deflowered her via rape. Ramsay was such a monster even Iwan Rheon, THE ACTOR WHO PLAYED THE GUY, hoped he'd die horribly. He got his wish: The consequences of Ramsay's actions catch up with him when Jon Snow shows up with an army capable of threatening him, and after surprise reinforcements from Littlefinger and his own fucked-up teamkilling, the Starks crush the Bolton army, forcing Ramsay to flee back to Winterfell. Despite this, the gate is smashed down, and Jon disarms him and beats him quite brutally before detaining him to await trial. Before the trial Sansa sets his dogs on him, which he had deliberately starved so they would eat Jon. Apparently they found him quite tasty.
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===House Martell===

''"Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken"''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Desert dwelling survivalists who pride themselves on having never been conquered by the Targaryen dynasty (though they later married in). Moorish Spaniards, kinda. [[C.S Goto|Their story arc was completely ruined in the show, as Elia and Oberyn's daughters kill Oberyn's brother and nephew for taking too long to avenge him before being captured and killed themselves by Euron and Cersei]].
*Doran Martell: Lord of Sunspear and of royal descent. Still mad at the Lannisters about that whole "murdered-my-sister-and-infant-niece thing". Playing the longest of long games with Varys while trying to keep the rest of his psychotic family members in check. Wheelchair-bound due to his gout. [[What|Killed off in the show by Ellaria as part of her plan to avenge Oberyn]]. Even his actor was upset.
*Arianne Martell: One of GRRM's characters who seems to exists solely to fuck everything up at the worst conceivable moment. Still hot as Dornish girls come. Exists only in the books, where she is currently helping her dad get ready to topple the Lannisters after fucking everything up with her own stupid plan to crown Myrcella, which is what got the poor girl maimed.
*Oberyn Martell ''The Viper of Dorne'': Doran Martell's brother, a bisexual swinger, former mercenary, and a drunkard. His girlfriend is a spectacularly beautiful bastard named Ellaria Sand and he has many illegitimate children, mostly daughters, collectively called "The Sand Snakes". Crippled the Tyrell heir in a fight, causing a rift between the two houses; despite this, he's actually best mates with the aforementioned heir, due to Willas Tyrell being straight up the nicest and most balanced man in the series and Oberyn being a somewhat decent person. Known for poisoning his weapons, as well as his battle-cry. Died from a mutual kill, with Gregor Clegane crushing his skull in rather graphically, avenging his sister Elia who Gregor had raped and murdered. Though it's probably a win for Oberyn, since he got Clegane with a horribly painful and slow-acting venom which stretched his death over days or even weeks, during which time he was ruthlessly experimented upon by a mad scientist.
*Quentyn Martell: Didn't realize he was in Dark Low Fantasy and thought he was in High Fantasy, poor bastard. A member of House Martell, sent to marry Daenerys to secure an alliance between the families since the original marriage plan to hook Arianne up with Viserys won't work with Viserys dead. Leaves Westeros and goes all the way to the city of Meereen to marry her, but he's too late, as she marries the Meereenese noble Hizdahr, and like Jorah he's not her type (Dany likes her bad boys). Tries to tame two of her dragons to impress her; the attempt goes wrong, he gets horribly burnt and gradually dies in agony from his wounds.
*The Sand Snakes: Oberyn's children. All daughters he had with various women throughout his travels (all consensual encounters, mind you). Mixed race and all hot with various skills including combat training and mastery of poisons. Working with Doran and Ellaria in the books. [[C.S Goto|Ruined in the show where they don't accomplish anything, are given atrocious dialogue (the "you need the bad pussy" line comes to mind), aren't great fighters]] and get killed by Euron's men, except for the one who poisoned Myrcella; she gets captured and poisoned back by Cersei so an imprisoned Ellaria is forced to watch her die and decompose.</div></div>

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===House Frey===

''"We Stand Together"''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> House of weasels who are always grumpy and have a thing for overreacting to perceived slights. Wouldn't be that important except for the fact that they own the only bridge over a strategically important river, and regularly extort anyone attempting to cross it.

*Walder Frey: The ancient, terrible, ornery old man in charge of the Twins. Universally detested by his peers for being an amoral opportunist, which he returns in kind for said peers "looking down on him" (can't imagine why), and will readily betray an important ally for immediate gain, or if he feels he has been slighted in some minor way. His descendants are literally so numerous that no one except GRRM himself has been able to count them all, so we aren't even going to attempt it (not helped by quite a few of them being named Walder as well). Now dead in the show due to getting his throat slit by a vengeful Arya after she serves him two of his sons as meat pies. </div></div>

===Minor Houses and non-Houses===
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'''Night's Watch'''
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">The Night's Watch are an apolitical force in charge of manning The Wall, a giant ice wall that separates the relative tranquillity of the south from the Lovecraftian fucked-up-itude of the true north. They are chronically undermanned and undersupplied since nobody believes their stories of a barbarian army or the impending zombie apocalypse. Basically everybody else thinks they're in a game of [[Diplomacy]] and the Night's Watch are the only ones who realize they're actually in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]], though it's been so long since the last snow elf invasion that even they had forgotten about the undead hordes and focused too much on barbarians. Too add to their problems, they are overwhelmingly comprised of petty criminals who wanted to avoid the hangman, because "taking the black", as it's colloquially known, also brings with it a full pardon for any crime committed, even murder and treason (even rape, though rapists tend to be despised among the Night's Watch). Taking the black isn't also very popular, as a common joke in the Seven Kingdoms is that out 10 people, only would one would willfully take the black, the rest would rather get hanged. They also frequently serve as a convinient catch-all solution for Lords and nobles who fell out of favor, committed treason or were outwitted in the endless Westerosi wheel of politics; lucky for them because said Lords and Nobles are usually the only ones with any fighting experience that are part of the watch and make up their leadership. They've allied with the Wildings and the North, but in the TV show, the Night's King used the undead dragon Viserion to burn a hole through The Wall.
*Jeor Mormont, ''The Old Bear'': 997th Lord Commander of the Night's Watch at the start of the series. Sees Jon Snow as something of a second son (since his own son Jorah was exiled for enslaving and refused to take the black for his crimes). Leads a ranging north of the Wall to investigate reports that the Others have returned. Ends up killed during a mutiny of survivors after the Others wiped out most of his force.
*Alliser Thorne: Prick of a knight who was favourite to be the next Watch Commander, but was passed over by Jon Snow. Unable to accept Jon Snow letting the Wildlings live on the other side of the wall in an alliance against the zombie hordes, he staged a coup against Jon. It failed because Jon was brought back to life. He is now dead in the show, having been executed for his treason by Jon Snow. Despite of his many personal failings, he's one of the very few capable fighters (and a pretty good one, even) of the Watch and a skilled commander. Took the Black after siding with the Targaryens during the Sack of King's Landing in the civil war.
*Aemon Targaryen: Maester of the Citadel at Castle Black. Despite being the third born son of King Maekar I Targaryen, he declined the right to sit on the Iron Throne. One of the few people in the series to die of old age, at 102.
*Samwell Tarly, ''The Slayer'': Fat bookworm who was forced to take the black after his father Randyl threatened to murder him for being unmanly. Jon Snow's best friend among the Night's Watch, and knows everything because he "read it in a book". Despite being a self-professed coward, Sam became the first person in thousands of years to slay an Other with an obsidian dagger. George Martin himself said Sam's based on Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings. Since then, he has started improving his combat skills and balls (in more ways than one for the latter, finding his spine and losing his virginity). He abandons the Night's Watch to help fight the dead and tell Jon who he really is, and winds up becoming the new Grand Maester by the end of the show.
*Eddison Tollett, ''Dolorous Edd'': Probably the most badass member of the Night's Watch. Responds to situations by making sarcastic jokes about them, and known for being a grim motherfucker in a setting of grim motherfuckers. In the show he [[Awesome|became the new Lord Commander]] while Jon was dead, but gave the title back to Jon when he was brought back to life, and then Jon handed it right back because he needed to go sort out Ramsay Bolton. Dies in Season 8 at the Battle of Winterfell.
*Benjen Stark: The [[Dune|Duncan Idaho]] of this series, the dead guy all the other characters and all the ''readers'' love so much someone has to bring him back from the dead in later books. Benjen is Eddard Stark's youngest brother and the prime motivation why Jon wants to join the Night's Watch in the first place. Joined the Watch for reasons unknown and disappears without a trace even before Jon arrives. In the TV series, he returns as a benevolent Wight that retained his free will and helps Bran to get back to the Seven Kingdoms.
*Qhorin Half-Hand: Badass extraordinaire that killed a shitton of Wildlings in his long time of service, rumoured to have spent more time north of the Wall than anyone living southerner in the setting. Lets himself get killed by Jon in a gambit to earn Mance Rayders respect.
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'''Wildlings'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Groups of nomadic hunter-gatherer tribes who live north of the Wall. Mostly First Men by blood, they have been heading toward the Wall for the past decade with the reputed reemergence of the Others. Nomadic, aggressive, and very much believing in "might makes right", they do not get along with anyone south of The Wall since they view them as "Kneeling weaklings". Basically every Celtic/Scandinavian/barbarian stereotype combined.
*Mance Rayder, ''The King Beyond The Wall'': A Wildling orphan who was taken in by the Night's Watch, he became their best Ranger before he deserted to join his people. He united the Wildlings and lead them south to escape the Others. Also a trained bard, but that was not enough to save him from death in the show while he's merely MIA in the books.
*Tormund Giantsbane: Claims to have a ten-inch penis, and invites his enemies to use their mouths if they want to clean it. Cool as fuck old guy who [[Furry|fucks mother-bears]] in his free time. Tough as nails motherfucker who preaches the merits of using one's cock for everything. He teams up with Jon Snow for the fight against the White Walkers, then fucks off back to the north once the Night King is dead, making him one of the most sensible people on the show. He and Jon go off to be bros at the end of the show.
*Ygritte: Wildling woman who Jon Snow ends up falling for and who returns his affections. Has red hair which is considered lucky among the Wildlings. This being ''A Song of Ice and Fire'', she ends up dying because her worldview is not compatible with Jon's.
*Craster: A sick bastard, formerly a member of the Night's Watch turned polygamous isolationist. By the way, [[Grimdark|his current wives are his many daughters and granddaughters who he fucks regularly to have more children. Girls grow up to become more wives, boys get sacrificed to the Others]]. This keeps the Others at bay - and is implied to be a way the Others reproduce themselves, and that sanctuary is why the Night's Watch barely tolerates him. Fortunately, he's been killed off in the story and his offspring go their separate ways.
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'''Commoners, Knights, and Petty Lords'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Basically any character not associated with any of the Great Houses.
* Varys, ''The Spider'': The eunuch spymaster of Westeros. You can't take a shit in the Seven Kingdoms without Varys finding out where, when, and how watery or dry it was. He does this through paid informants and his "little birds", a spy network of children who sneak through the castle's passageways and air flues to eavesdrop on everyone. Somewhat of a paradoxical character, since his literal dicklessness, reputation and political power make every character extremely vary of him (it's more or less implied that the main thing keeping him in the small council is the fact that he has got enough shit on everyone to blackmail them into submission if they would dare step out of his line) but under the surface, he is the rare example of people in Westeros that isn't an entirely self-serving scumbag and seems to show genuine care and concern for the common folk [[Just as planned|(Even if his machinations frequently put commonors in peril, but hey, such is politics)]]. To that end, he manipulated events that, according to his plan, would end with a Targaryen on the throne, to permanently stabilize the realm and rid it of the aformentioned self-serving idiots. On a sidenote, he's one of the few, if not the only person to fully comprehend how dangerous Littlefinger actually is. In the books, he's currently trying to install an adolescent Targaryen on the Iron Throne (who probably isn't even one, but he got the looks) Dead in the show, having decided to try and put Jon on the throne instead of Daenerys; Jon says no, Tyrion sells him out when he realizes Jon absolutely means it, and Dany has Drogon barbecue him.
* Petyr Baelish, ''Littlefinger'': The Master of Coin (the ASOIAF equivalent of a treasurer) and the closest person the Game of Thrones world has to a [[Daemon Prince]] of [[Tzeentch]], up to even declaring "[[Chaos]] is a Ladder". A dangerous manipulator who manages to trick and steal his way to positions of lordship and wealth because no one takes him seriously, and stabs all the Lannisters in the back when they become inconvenient. As a child, he wanted Catelyn Stark and was tricked into thinking she wanted him when her sister Lysa fucked him while he was drunk. Challenged Catelyn's betrothed Brandon Stark, Ned's older brother who was murdered by Aerys, for her hand in marriage and got his ass kicked because he was a small skinny boy and Brandon Stark was a big strapping man, making that his start of darkness. The guy responsible, directly or indirectly, for the War of the Five Kings because he was the mastermind behind poisoning Jon Arryn, the capture and execution of Ned Stark, feeding several half-truths to Catelyn to motivate her to arrest Tyrion, and eventually Joffrey's death by having Dontos and Olenna Tyrell carry out the plan to kill Joffrey and letting Tyrion take the fall; but no one in the story knows this, not even Varys. People think he can pull gold out of thin air, but he's really been buying debt while letting Robert Baratheon's extravagances and Joffrey and Cersei's dipshittery pull the country into a serious debt of its own. So he's pledged himself to [[Chaos]] and destroying Westeros all because he couldn't have Catelyn as his girlfriend, though he changed his focus to her daughter Sansa now, making him a paedophile. Hasn't yet got his comeuppance in the books, but is currently dead in the show after he was out-gambitted by Sansa and killed by Arya. According to GRRM, he's based on the title character from the Great Gatsby.
*Gregor Clegane, ''The Mountain'': A 7' 8" 400 pound mass of [[Khorne|testosterone, muscles, steroid overdose and murderous RAGE]], Gregor is Tywin Lannister's top muscle. Killed his own father and sister and permanently scarred his brother. Hobbies include rape, arson, murder, and random torture; he's also been married a few times but not now with the implication he kept killing his wives. He played an important part in destroying the Targaryens by killing a couple of Rhaegar's kids in rather brutal fashion, then raping and murdering his wife. Spends a few novels doing Tywin's dirty work before a Trial by Champion leads to him dying after being poisoned by Oberyn Martell. Qyburn later resurrected him as... something... called "Ser Robert Strong", and is now even stronger, less prone to psychotic rages, and is completely obedient. He's based on accounts of French knight Gilles de Rais and maybe also the scriptural giant Goliath. Tortures Cersei's nun jailer to death in a brutal and unspecified fashion kills Qyburn during the Siege of King's Landing and then nearly kills his little brother, only for Sandor to tackle him through a collapsing wall and into a gigantic inferno that claims both.
* Sandor Clegane, ''The Hound'': Younger brother to Gregor Clegane, called the Hound because of his hound-face helm, his family's heraldry, and being the king's hired muscle without being a knight. He hates knights due to the hypocrisy of being a professional "noble warrior" but mostly since his monstrous brother is a knight, showing it's not so much of a noble promotion. Terrified of fire after Gregor put his head against a brazier for playing with one of Gregor's old toys when they were children, burning half his face, but he's still the second-strongest person in Westeros. A brutal anti-hero with a soft spot for Sansa, but a better person than his brother. After falling sick from Biter's nasty teeth, he ends up being a silent monk burying people in the Silent Isles. In the show, he joins the Brotherhood without Banners and goes north to help fuck up the White Walkers. As of Season 8, he's survived the Battle of Winterfell and is riding south with Arya to put the boots to Gregor. Dies killing his now undead brother in a pretty epic fight amidst the crumbling ruins of the Red Keep.
*Grand Maester Pycelle: A shrewd, dangerous man putting on a "harmless old man act" and a high ranking scholar from the science/medical guild the Maesters. The longest-serving member of the King's advisory staff, and is actually Tywin Lannister's biggest lackey. He convinced the Mad King to let Tywin in as Baratheon's armies were marching on the capital, where Tywin proceeded to sack the city and claim it for Robert. Gets his head bashed in by Varys in the books and murdered by Qyburn in the show.
* Qyburn: Formerly a maester, who was kicked out of the order for unethical experiments on the living (taking people and performing vivisections to be precise). Introduced as a part of a mercenary company serving Roose Bolton, which should be a red flag. He moves up in the world when he's sent to escort Brienne and Jaime back to King's Landing and ends with Cersei employing him to replace Pycelle as "science advisor" and eventually Varys's Spymaster. Serves Cersei loyally as long as she lets him indulge his sick experiments, serving as a black magic variety of the court mage. He has resurrected Gregor Clegane as... something. [[Fabius Bile]] if he traded his robot limbs, eugenics and power armour for necromancy. He overestimated his hold on Gregor and got his head caved in for it as of the second-to-last episode of the show.
*Barristan Selmy, ''The Bold'': Knight of the Kingsguard. Which Kingsguard? Take your pick. He's served pretty much every king since Aerys and understandably feels pretty bad about it. Another sad old man who pretty much just wants to die until he decides to go pledge his services to Daenerys. Even in his old age, he is considered one of the most dangerous men in Westeros. [[Fail|Dead in the show]] (to be fair they gave him a huge last stand), but [[Awesome|alive]] and [[Roboute Guilliman|appointed himself Daenerys' steward in her absence to try and fix Meereen's situation in the books]].
*Melisandre, ''The Red Witch'': A priestess of R'hllor, the god of fire. Proclaimed Stannis to be the messiah-king and is doing everything in her power to make sure he wins (considerable given that she can scry, make shadow baby assassins and set things on fire with her mind). She'd be pretty bro-tier if her god wasn't so vicious. As it stands she's kind of in the grey (in the books, the show seems to zig-zag on her being evil 'cos the showrunners seem to hate religion). Most of the people she set on fire deserved it, and she hasn't ''succeeded'' in killing any babies yet. Show version now dead from suicide via rapid ageing after ensuring the Living defeat the Dead.
*Jorah Mormont: A knight and son of Jeor Mormont, exiled for trying to sell poachers into slavery and eventually joining the exiles of House Targaryen. He is offered a pardon in exchange for spying on the Targaryens but ultimately decides to stay with them after falling in love with Daenerys. Unfortunately, he gets friend-zoned hard. Despite saving her life from an assassin while she was pregnant, she still votes him off the Khalassar after learning he was a spy. He still loves her and follows her in secret, though. In the show, he goes on a quest to prove himself to her and contracts the dangerous disease Greyscale (it's like the unholy lovechild of smallpox and leprosy), but he gets cured and is now back at her side. He dies protecting her at the Battle of Winterfell.
*Davos Seaworth, ''The Onion Knight'': A former smuggler and bannerman to House Baratheon, and a top-tier hype man, pulling speeches out on the spot on several occasions to convince people to support Stannis and later Jon. During Roberts Rebellion he ran a blockade with a cargo of contraband onions to a castle Stannis Baratheon was besieged in. In exchange for the food he had, Stannis knighted Davos, but Stannis's law-worshipping mindset compelled him to remove four digits from his left hand. Despite this, Davos has served Stannis with unquestioning loyalty, because Stannis knighting him gave his children a future. The fact that Stannis's war for the throne has ended up killing several of his sons hasn't dented his loyalty at all. Doesn't like Melisandre because he sees her as a user and her beliefs as brutal. He's a devout follower of the Faith of the Seven in the books and the first season of the show [[C.S Goto|but is clumsily retconned into an anti-religious atheist in later show seasons]]. In the show, he's now pledged to DA NORF and is basically Jon's Hand of the King, except he doesn't get a fancy pin. He survives the Battle of Winterfell and the Second Sack of King's Landing and becomes Master of Ships in the final episode of the show.
*Shae: A former camp follower and Tyrion Lannister's squeeze for most of the story. Fled from an abusive family and became a camp follower to earn a living. Seems to fall in love with Tyrion, but it turns out she's a gold-digging bitch. When Tyrion doesn't marry Shae she sells him out to Cersei for a better offer, then fucks Tywin when she realizes Cersei won't keep her promise. Tyrion found her in his father's bed and strangled her to death with a necklace for betraying him. The discovery of Shae's corpse in Tywin's bed - posthumously outing him as a whoremonger - upsets Cersei to the point she unpersons Shae.
*Bronn: A mercenary who acts as Tyrion's enforcer and personal killer until Cersei outbids him and he settles down with a little wife and title. Routinely kills knights by exploiting how arrogant and stupid they are even after becoming one himself. Only in it for the money, which he'll happily tell you himself. The only character other than Littlefinger to end every book in a better position than he started it. In the show, he makes the very sensible decision to sit out the fighting and wait for his promised castle (Riverrun if Cersei wins, Highgarden if Daenerys wins). He gets Highgarden and is named Lord Paramount of the Reach and Master of Coin in the final episode. Some nobles bitch about the idea of an upjumped thug receiving such high and exalted positions until he points out that their Houses were probably founded by people a lot like him.
* Brienne of Tarth, ''The Beauty'': Surprisingly badass lady knight wannabe (since no women can be knighted), legendarily unattractive but still pretty idealistic despite the shit she gets for her looks. Fate frequently gives her the shit end of the stick, because no matter how hard she tries to finish her quests, she ends up failing or stuff happens that makes it impossible. Secretly crushes on Renly and unaware he's gay. After he dies, Brienne switches her loyalty to Catelyn and helps her bring Jaime to King's Landing as Tyrion promised Sansa's return in exchange for Jaime. She later developed a crush on Jaime. Things don't go well because Jaime lost his hand and the Red Wedding happened. Next, Jaime sends her out to find and keep Sansa safe to make good on Tyrion's promise, since he isn't the complete dick everyone thinks he is. Brienne ends up getting captured by Cat, now known as Lady Stoneheart and an insane undead, who was going to hang Brienne for working with Jaime. Brienne was spared at the last moment to capture/manipulate Jaime. In the show, she's now sworn to House Stark and gets knighted by Jaime just before the Battle of Winterfell and then she and Jaime hook up afterwards, only for him to take off and break her heart. She is now Lady Commander of the Kingsguard as of the final episode.
* Lyanna Mormont: A badass ten-year-old girl who inherits Bear Island after her mother and older sister die horribly in the Riverlands - at least if we are going by the show; in the book, her mother is still alive somewhere in the Neck and her older sister Alysanne is the de-facto head of House Mormont. Her activities include pimp-slapping bitches, leading men twice as old as her, and being completely loyal to the Starks despite all their misfortunes. [[Awesome|"Bear Island knows no king but the King in the North, whose name is STARK."]] She dies killing an undead giant at the Battle of Winterfell, which is pretty badass.
* Wyman Manderly, ''Lord Too-Fat-To-Sit-A-Horse'': The Lord of White Harbour and one of the few Northerners who worship the Seven. Fervently loyal to House Stark, he pays lip-service to the Iron Throne long enough for his eldest son to return home, all to mask a plan to restore the Starks to power, mostly by destabilising the Frey-Bolton alliance, building a navy, marshalling the forces of the lands east of the White Knife river, "losing" Freys in the wilderness and sending Lord Davos Seaworth to rescue Rickon Stark from Skagos. His favourite food is lamprey, although he has also developed a taste for Frey Pie. Also a remarkably graceful dancer, and can survive taking a knife to the throat.
** Wylla Manderly: Granddaughter to the above. Another badass little girl, her activities include openly declaring undying loyalty to House Stark and dying her hair green. She and Lyanna Mormont would probably be best friends if they met. [[Awesome|"The city is built upon the land [the Starks] gave us. In return, we swore that we should always be their men. Stark men!"]]
* Jon Umber, ''The Greatjon'': At first he seems to be your stereotypical, boisterous Northern Lord. However, he becomes one of Robb's most loyal supporters, being first to declare him as 'King in the North' after Ned's execution. Had his moment of awesome [[Awesome|when he killed and wounded four Freys at the Red Wedding, all the while being drunk and needing eight additional men to take him down.]]
* Beric Dondarrion, ''The Lightning Lord'': Minor lord who agreed to head an expedition to take out Gregor Clegane. This being Game of Thrones, however, his party is ambushed by the Mountain and is beaten rather badly, and he loses his life in the process. Thanks to his drunken Red Priest friend, however, he manages to come back not once, but eight times, and each time he comes back, he becomes more powerful, though at the cost of his memory. He now heads an outlaw faction of grimdark Robin Hood types called "The Brotherhood Without Banners", who are dedicated to punishing those who abuse and mistreat the smallfolk. Ironically, he's one of the few book characters to have died (permanently) in the books but remain alive in the show, except now he's dead for real as of the Battle of Winterfell.
* Thoros of Myr: Aforementioned drunken priest who is dedicated to R'hllor, though at first he doesn't really give a rat's ass about the Red God, as he prefers to party it up with wine and women, but after he 'accidentally' resurrects Beric, he becomes quite serious about his religion and vows to curb his excesses in drinking. Dies on a mission beyond the Wall to capture a wight (show-version). Bane of swordsmiths across the lands, as he likes to routinely ignite his swords with Wildfire when he gets a hold of some of the stuff, which completely destroys the blade.
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'''The Free Cities'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Nine city-states to the West of Essos, for the most part, the old colonies of the Valaryian Freehold. Mostly they are ruled by Merchant Princes. They look down on the Westerosi for being a bunch of up jumped backwards war-mongering morons who are only a few silverware sets and maesters away from absolute barbarism. In turn, the Westerosi look down on the Free Cities as being money-grubbing effete cowards ruled by cheesemongers who use bribery, tall walls and dirty tricks to get ahead in the world.

* Illyrio Mopatis: A rich fat bastard and a Magister of Pentos. Old buddies with Varys and a bigtime schemer.
* [[Officio Assassinorum|The Faceless Men]]: A cult of shape-shifting assassins who worship The Many-Faced God of death based in the free city of Braavos that give up personal identity. They claim descent from escaped Valyrian slaves who considered death to be a better fate than perpetual slavery. Their mission hence became being servants of the Many-Faced God of Death. You can hire them to off your rivals, but they request a steep and equivalent price. They also offer a painless, quick suicide for downtrodden and desparate people by the means of poison. Their motto is "Valar Morghulis": All Men Must Die.
* Xaro Xhoan Daxos: One of the thirteen leaders of the city of Qarth. A flamboyant, languid, bald rich man who looks after Daenerys while she stays in Qarth and gives her many gifts. He wants her dragons as much as anyone else and even tries to marry her despite his homosexual tendencies. He stops wanting the dragons later in the book series after seeing [[RIP AND TEAR|their work in Astapor]], and no longer wants her around as her anti-slavery stance is hampering his wealth, so he offers Daenerys ships to leave the area and declares war on her when she refuses. In the show, he's heterosexual, helps steal her dragons, fucks one of her handmaidens and gets locked in a vault for conspiring to have her killed. He's also black and fat in the show when he's white and lanky in the books, being Qartheen and all.
* Syrio Forel: The former First Sword of Braavos (aka the ruler's personal bodyguard) and later Arya's mentor in King's Landing. He teaches her the way of Braavosi fencing, called "Water Dancing", and sacrifices himself to save her from Lannister thugs, taking down at least six of them with a wooden sword. May have inadvertently set her on the path of becoming a badass assassin by telling her of his belief in the God of Death.

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'''The Dothraki'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">Horse people who live in a country of endless grass plains referred to by others as the Dothraki sea. They only have one city, called Vaes Dothrak, which is less of a city and more of a place they all meet when important things have to be discussed. Have traits borrowed from several cultures, including Mongols and Native Americans, all filtered through European misconceptions of those cultures of course, such as the Dothraki's antipathy for heavy armour, despite the fact that the Mongols were very heavily armoured and also excelled as infantry, see the Battle of Leignitz. They fear the ocean because of its size and the fact that horses won't drink from it, calling it the "poison water".

* Khal Drogo: An Expy of <s>Genghis Khan</s> Yesukhei Baatyr (his son would have been the equivalent to Chinggis Khaan). Leads the largest Khalassar among the Dothraki. Despite being a barbarian warlord, Drogo is surprisingly intelligent and treats Daenerys well. After an assassin tries to kill her he promises to conquer Westeros for her and their unborn son and immediately starts raiding towns for slaves and ships. At one town he gets cut in a leadership challenge and Daenerys gets a captive wise woman to heal him. However, the woman hates him because his tribe destroyed her hometown, raped/slaughtered or enslaved her friends and raped her three times so she curses him to become catatonic (along with killing his unborn son), leading a devastated Daenerys to perform an arguable mercy kill by smothering him with a pillow. After she burns herself, her stillborn child and the wise woman on his funeral pyre, Daenerys survives and it brings her dragons to life. GRRM named Drogo after [[The Lord of the Rings|Frodo's father]].
* Daenerys' handmaidens.
** Doreah: Daenerys' handmaiden and a wedding gift from Illyrio. A woman from Lysene brought by her brother to teach her how to pleasure a man. In the book she dies of fever and starvation crossing a desert, in the TV show, she betrays Daenerys for [[Salamanders|Xaro's BBC]] and gets locked in a vault to starve to death.
** Irri: Daenerys' handmaiden who teaches Daenerys how to ride a horse. [[PROMOTIONS|Also pleasures Daenerys twice after catching her masturbating once]], yet this canonical girl-on-girl action was left out of the show. The character was even killed off there when she survived in the books, but in this case, it was because her actress' visa had expired rather than [[C.S. Goto|author railroading]].
** Jhiqui: Daenerys' handmaiden who teaches her the Dothraki language and squabbles with Irri over wanting one of Daenerys' bodyguards when he becomes a badass. Also dies in the TV show while staying alive so far in the books.

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'''Slavers Bay'''

<div class="mw-collapsible-content">A civilization of [[Stupid Evil]] slavers. The remains of a previous civilization that was once the big powerful empire thanks to having phalanxes of obedient, pain-resistant soldiers which Valyria conquered a long while ago because phalanxes don't do too well against motherfucking dragons. They are ruled by wealthy slave mongers who buy slaves, train them up to do specific things and generally are a bunch of stuck up, decadent, puppy-eating (literally) assholes. Basically a civilization so repugnant even most hippies will be cheering when Dany decides to conquer them.

* The Unsullied: Eunuch phalanx fighting slave soldiers trained the Spartan way to produce totally obedient infantry that never break ranks. They also don't feel pain due to drinking a special drink daily, and each one has to take a new name from the name box each day so they can't develop a sense of identity. At least until Dany "bought" the lot of them, had them sack the city which trained them, and freed them.
* Grey Worm: The Unsullied Commander and a no-nonsense badass. When given a chance to take a new name he keeps his slave name because it's the name he had when freed so he considers it lucky. He is completely loyal to Daenerys, considering her his saviour, and in the show, he falls in love with fellow freed-woman, Missandei. This being ASOIAF, however, he can only watch helplessly as his lover is beheaded in front of him by the Mountain. This drives him into a rage, and he eagerly takes part in the sacking of King's Landing in revenge for her death. After the war is over and both Daenerys and Cersei are dead, he takes the Unsullied forces to Naath, in order to fulfil his promise to Missandei that he'd protect her homeland.
* Strong Belwas: A fat but skilled eunuch gladiator. Loves liver and onions and referring to himself in the third person. Travelling companion/guide of Ser Barristan. Has an awesome scene where he beats the champion of Meereen then mocks the Meereenese by taking a shit in their direction and wiping his ass on their dead champion's cloak. Also saves Daenerys from eating poisoned sweets. [[FAIL|Left out of the show]].
* Daario Naharis: A Tyroshi mercenary captain who dyes his hair blue. Betrays his fellow commanders for Daenerys because he loves her as a queen. Fortunately for him, Daenerys loves him back and they pursue a romance for a time, though she doesn't marry him as she's still otherwise smart enough to know she has to save herself for a political marriage. Goes to Yunkai as a hostage in the war on Meereen. Also potentially a shapeshifter, if the show is to be believed.
*Missandei: A young female slave with a remarkable talent for linguistics and one of the more empathetic people in this dark world, Missandei is freed by Daenerys during her campaign to liberate Slaver's Bay, eventually becoming one of her closest confidants and advisers. While a child in the books, in the show Missandei is a grown woman, falls in love with the Unsullied leader Grey Worm, but later is captured by Cersei and beheaded by the zombified Mountain in front of all her friends, but not before telling her friends to burn the Lannisters to ashes.

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===Gods and Such===
<div class="mw-collapsible-content"> The world of ASOIAF has various religions and faiths abound, just like in real life. Similarly, they range between fucking awesome to utterly useless. Dissimilarly, some of them have very tangible, undeniable magic powers. (Though none of that shows up before Daenerys wakes her dragons. Authorial sleight-of-hand, retcon or retroactive restoration of magic to the world? YOU DECIDE!)

*[[Ecclesiarchy|The Faith of the Seven]]: The Catholic Church/Church of England stand-in, which gets both sympathetic (books only) and unsympathetic (books and show) characters associated with it. Holds an anti-slavery stance. The god/s are considered seven aspects of one deity with three male aspects (The Smith, the Father, the Warrior), three female aspects (The Maiden, the Mother, the Crone) and a sexless one representing Death. The places of worship are called Septs, and their system includes Septons, nun-equivalents called Septas and a Pope equivalent called a High Septon. The High Septons all give up their names when they become one to confuse future historians.
** High Septon 1 Fatfuck: A fat, greedy man who used the position for personal gain. He ended up being [[Grimdark|torn apart in a riot]], because the people resented that he had enough food to stay fat while they were starving.
** High Septon 2 Lannister Puppet: Successor of High Septon Fatfuck. Chosen by Tyrion so the Faith would be loyal to the Lannisters. Only ''slightly'' corrupt, being a pro-Lannister yes-man. Murdered on Cersei's order in the book, while in the show he's retconned into a whoremonger who gets deposed by the Sparrows (see below).
** High Septon 3/The High Sparrow: Successor of High Septon Lannister Puppet. After the second High Septon shown in the present day of the story died, the smallfolk burst into the meeting to pick a successor and ordered their chosen candidate to be put in charge when his original successor was caught whoremongering. He'd been a wandering preacher beforehand, and his feet were dark and gnarled from lots of walking. When he reaches the position he starts [[gets shit done|getting things done]]. Since he was appointed by a smallfolk religious movement called Sparrows, he's given the moniker "The High Sparrow". The nobility underestimates him, either due to having other matters or disregard for religious people, but he turns out to be smart, well-meaning and somewhat ruthless. Under the High Sparrow, he and the other clergymen sell their fancy clothes and decorations [[Noblebright|replacing them with simple wool tunics, using the money to buy food and clothes for the poor in King's Landing]]. He also has their Knights-Templar-equivalent reformed to [[Inquisition|protect the faithful and help them root out]] [[heresy]] and sin. He also outwits Cersei and has her arrested and tried for all her evil deeds. While Cersei's scheming does lead to Margaery's arrest, Cersei confesses to some crimes while concealing others, leading to Cersei taking a nude walk of penance in front of the entire city. After this, he somewhat reined in the nobles' politicking to actually look after the commoners and the Faith, though this does make some enemies. In the show, he and the Sparrows are [[C.S Goto|retconned]] from assorted smallfolk and clergymen tired of the nobles' lawlessness and power plays into one-dimensional stereotypes and thinly-veiled jabs at the Catholic Church [[Imperial Truth|in a shoe-horned anti-religion message]]. While they do arrest Cersei and Margaery like in the books, during the trial most of the Faith, including the High Sparrow himself, get blown to kingdom come when Cersei has her agents ignite a massive amount of magical napalm underneath the Great Sept. In the books they're much more like Martin Luther and the Lutherans, except that the Protestant Reformation ''wins''.
* [[Old Ones|Old Gods]]: Native American/Japanese Kame/Druid/nature spirits that reside in places called Godswoods. Their powers are limited to the North, where the last remaining Godswoods remain, but they can grant gifted individuals awesome psychic powers like Warging (mind-controlling animals) and Greensight (Time Travel). For some reason, Martin claims they're based off the Norse Gods. Probably has to do with the way the Vikings made sacrifices to their gods, by hanging them in Ash trees, a symbol for the World Tree Yggdrasil. The Weirwood trees are sacred to the followers of the Old Gods in a similar way. Mostly worship of them is quiet and informal.
* R'hllor: The God of Fire and Light, and like the Old Gods, actually shows evidence for existing. [[/tg/ gets shit done|He gets shit done]] such as fire magic and Resurrection. Has a nasty habit for burning heretics, though. GRRM said this faith is roughly based (read: poorly modelled after) upon Zoroastrianism and Gnosticism. His nemesis is The Great Other: the god of cold and darkness, the leader of the Others, and prophesied to be defeated by the chosen one, or messianic figure: [[Star Child|Azor Ahai/The Prince That Was Promised]], a figure who is the prophesied warrior that will fight with the Great Other/Night's King during the Apocalypse. Interestingly enough, the prophecy may not refer to a single person, but three (Jon, Tyrion/Bran, and Daenerys). Supposedly, one of these three will also receive an [[Emperor's Sword|awesome flaming sword called "Lightbringer"]].
* Him of Many Faces: The god of the Dead of the religion whose followers are the [[Officio Assassinorum|Faceless Men]]. According to his cult of assassins, whom Arya joins, every other god is him in a different form and he requires his assassins to utterly forget their past identities in service to him. Has a heyday during the Battle of King's Landing and the Red Wedding. His most awesome followers are granted shapeshifting abilities and powers to be the ultimate assassins.
* Drowned God: Cthulhu combined with Odin. Runs an underwater Valhalla were all Ironborn go whey they either if they drowned at sea, the men die a manly death or the women die in childbirth. Probably doesn't exist or he would have done something about Euron Greyjoy... at least in the books. There, Euron is [[Imperial Truth|proudly scornful]] of him, and his brother Aeron fruitlessly and endlessly mutters "no godless man can sit the Seastone Chair". In the show, Euron is perfectly happy to go through the traditional Drownie coronation ritual and Aeron performs it.
* The Night's King: This is completely different depending on whether you prefer the [[oldfag|books]] or [[newfag|show]]. Book version: A long time ago, when the Night's Watch was just barely getting set up, its Lord Commander, the thirteenth in line, decided to climb over the Wall and explore some. While in the woods to the north of the Wall, he found a beautiful [[Monstergirls|Other female]]. He fell in love with her, had [[/d/|sex with her on top of the Wall]], which somehow changed him into an albino version of [[Star Wars|Darth Maul]], and set himself up as King of the Wall, making everyone in the Watch his slaves and sacrificial fodder. Naturally, this didn't sit too well with the Starks and the Wildlings, and so they banded together to free the Watch and kick his ass, which they managed to do successfully. Now everyone thinks him as dead or a myth. Show version: he was the very first White Walker ever created by the Children, and he decided to get back at them by wiping out all life. Also, whilst he was apparently beaten in the ancient past and sealed away behind the Wall, he's still "alive" and well, [[Daemonculaba|turning infant human boys into new White Walkers]]. Also, he can apparently raise up entire legions of undead, just by raising his arms and looking completely smug about it; unlike regular Others, who can just raise up maybe a village at most. Given that he's the resident [[BBEG|Dark Lord]] of the series, it makes sense that he can take down a dragon with seemingly little effort (a simple throw of his spear), and resurrect it to be his personal steed a la Arthas. (Whether that particular nonsense is going to show up in the books is up in the air, it's suitably grimdark and not particularly [[derp]] so it might.) Then he used the dragon to blow a hole in the Wall and begin [[The End Times]] for Westeros. But [[FAIL|dead]], thanks to Arya's magic ninja haxx which let her [[what|kill the BBEG and his entire race and army of zombies ''in one blow.'']]
** The Others/The White Walkers: A mysterious race from beyond the Wall, known to [[newfag|HBO fans]] as "the White Walkers". Can be described as ice demons/snow elves with necromancy. Eight thousand years ago, they invaded Westeros during a decades-long winter (even longer than the usual years-long winters) known as "the Long Night". With an army of undead warriors, they proceeded to fuck Westeros up every which way to [[Sunday]] before the locals finally drove them out, established the Night's Watch, and built the Wall to keep them out. Like all fantasy aspects of ASOIAF, they are very cliched. In the TV series, it's revealed that they were created from human captives by "The Children", the pseudo-[[Elf]] fair folk race that lived in Westeros before humanity arrived, as an attempt to create a super-weapon. The idea was since humanity bred faster than the Children could keep up with, they would create icy [[lich]]-creatures that could create [[undead]] soldiers, and these would then wipe out all human life. Instead, it went disastrously wrong because it turned out that the Children actually couldn't control what they'd created, so the Others [[Ork|just want to exterminate '''all''' life.]] In both versions the Night's King is in control.
</div></div>

==Locations==

'''Westeros''': The continent where about 80% of the plot takes place. Scotland in the North, Siberia/Northern Scandinavia beyond the wall, Moorish Spain in the South, with the rest being England as far as climate is concerned, only much, much larger.
*The North: By far the largest of the Seven Kingdoms in size, and the least in population. A rocky, cold and dangerous landscape where life barely tolerable (although it's still preferrable to the eldrich lands beyond the wall), sometimes it even snows in summer, giving you a general idea why it's quite a shitty place to be in when compared with the more southern kingdoms. Living in it are the Northmen, culturally an inbetween of Northern English and Scots. Most of them still revere the Old Gods and practice traditions that feel very alien to those living in the south, of the First Men culture before the Andal Invasion, still holding out here and the Iron Islands. It's also damn near unconquerable by conventional means due to its largest land border being covered in a noxious swamp with only one secure passge through it. Its ruling house at the beginning of the Story is House Stark, later House Bolton; Its capital is Winterfell.
*Iron Islands: Large, rocky archipelago off the coast of the North and the Riverlands. Their bleak and inhospitable landscape is the major reason why the Ironmen culture, the other hold out of the First Men culture in Westeros which has the unique blend of only political and not cultural Andal influence and lack of Children of the Forest influence as Weirwoods don't grow on islands and only First Men humans ever lived here during those times, is so centered around pillaging and raiding; you can't grow crops on rock. Does have a decently sized economy based around metal working, but nowhere near enough to support its populace. Their capital is Pyke.
*Riverlands: As the name says, the Riverlands are marked by several large rivers flowing through it and the large fertile valleys surrounding them. The historical whipping boy of the continent after the Andal Invasion took over the old First Men realms (minus the North and the Iron Islands), constantly fought over by the Westerlands, the Stormlands, the Reach, the Iron Islands and the Vale, to the point that it was under Iron Islands rule when Aegon Targaryen unified the continent minus Dorne. Gets buttfucked the hardest during the War of the Five Kings by a metric ton; first by the Mountain carrying out a campaign of terror against the civilian populace on Tywins orders and second by most of the major fights between the Lannisters and the Starks taking place there. Honestly, after all the fighting, raping and pillaging happening in the Riverlands, one must wonder how many people are actually still left in them. Their ruling house is House Tully (later House Baelish); its Capital is Riverrun (later Harrenhal).
*Vale of Arryn: Mountainous Region east of the Riverlands home to (supposedly) the finest knights in Westeros due to them having constant field practice in crushing rebellion after rebellion of the native <s>Irish</s> Mountain Tribes (think Forsworn from Skyrim, only a lot more foul-mouthed) and having an absolute abundance of tiny territories to give out. The population lives more densely packed in the few large cities and townships that exist here due and traversing them is dangerous. Its ruling house is House Arryn, its capital The Eyrie, '''the''' hardest castle to take in Westeros as it is built on a mountaintop. Gulltown, one of the cities of Westeros, is the main economic hub.
*Westerlands: The second-smallest Kingdom in size but by far the richest due to its abundance of Gold and Silver Mines. Has a proud tradition of fucking everyone over by the means of money, politics or both combined. Also has a substantial importance as a major trading and naval hub in the city of Lannisport, which is the largest port on the western side of the continent. Its ruling house is House Lannister, its capital Casterly Rock. Casterly Rock was the capital of the old Kings, House Casterly, which was outsmarted by Lann the Clever, who married the last surviving daughter and founded House Lannister.
*Crownlands: The lands directly controlled by the Iron Throne, surrounding a big bay, with a rather pleasant, mild climate. Centered around the capital King's Landing, which gets an entry of its own. Its ruling house is always the house of the current kings. Formerly divided between the Riverlands and the Stormlands.
**King's Landing: The capital of the seven kingdoms and by far its largest city. It houses every important institution on the continent, most importantly the Red Keep, where the King of the Seven Kingdoms resides and the Great Sept of Baelor, the religious center of the Faith of the Seven. Aside from the Red Keep and the Great Sept, a filth ridden, downtrodden shithole that is rife with poverty and criminals whereever you may set foot; the City Guard is openly corrupt and acts more like a government-approved gang of thugs. It seems to be something of an unofficial sport among all chacters in the books to never say anything good the city. Architectually described like Medieval London, at the size of 1600s Paris.
*The Reach: The second-largest of the Seven Kingdoms, and the most populous. Its wide plains, dominated by fields and plantings serve as the breadbasket of the Seven Kingdoms. Also home to the oldest city in Westeros, Oldtown, which in turn is home to the Citadel of the Maesters. Its ruling house is Tyrell, its capital Highgarden. House Tyrell is matrilineally descended from Garth Greenhand like many other houses. The old ruling family, House Gardener, Garth's direct descendants, was wiped out when Aegon unleashed his dragons, with the then Lord of House Tyrell (at this point permanent stewards to House Gardener), was placed in control as he was married to the last Gardener female.
*Stormlands:
*Dorne: The southernmost region of Westeros and the hottest (in more ways than just temperature), consists of rocky deserts in its center and lush, meditterrean areas on its coasts. The Dornish people differ a lot from other Westerosi in ethnicity and culture and have a different origin, that of the migrating Rhoynar people interbreeding with the then relatively isolated local Westerosi. Dorne was also the only Kingdom to successfully resist conquest by the Targaryens and was only brought into the fold through political marriages, and their rulers retain the title of Prince (the Rhoynar and the local Westerosi don't use king or queen, they use prince or princess), not afforded to anyone else not of the Royal Family. Its ruling house is Martell, its capital Sunspear.
*The Wall:
*Beyond-the-Wall:
**Craster's Keep:
**Thenn:
**Lands of Always Winter:

'''The Stepstones''': Formerly a solid land bridge between Westeros and Essos, it was brought down by Children of the Forest magic in a failed attempt to stop the First Men invasion. Now an archipelago of islands infested by various ne'er-do-wells.
*Old Domains:
*Modern Piracy:

'''Essos''': A huge landmess (no, not a typo) about southeast of Westeros and home to many independent city-states west of the big mountain range. Generally agreed upon to be largely desolate wilderness sprinkled in with the occasional kingdoms that seem exotic and alien to Westerosi. Most of its western half used to be the center of power of the legendary Valyrian Freehold, with the Free Cities being colonies of them that survived the downfall of the Valyrian Empire hundreds of years ago. The exceptions are Slaver's Bay, conquered by the Valyrians before regaining independence after the Freehold's collapse, Qarth, Ib and some of the others.
*Braavos: The only one of the nine free cities to not be a Valyrian Colony (excepting the other countries like Qarth and Ib, who don't count among the nine). It was founded by Slaves that escaped their overlord in a marsh on the northernmost tip of Essos. It is mainly known for its massive port and the Iron Bank of Braavos, the biggest bank in the world. It also houses the House of Black and White, the central temple and headquarters of the Faceless Men.
*Pentos: Another large trading port on the western edge of Essos. It serves as the major trading hub between Westeros and the rest of Essos.
*Lys: Located on an island off the coast of Essos. Founded as a resort for Freeholders. A decadent city whose most famous export are prostitutes.
*Myr:
*Qarth:
*Norvos:
*Qohor:
*Tyrosh:
*Volantis: The crown jewel, first colony of the Freehold and considers itself the successor state to the Freehold.
*Lorath:
*Andalos:
*Rhoyne: Destroyed former city of the Rhoynar, who fled the Valyrian Freehold and migrated to Dorne. The former capital is currently infested by Stone-Men, Greyscale survivors who have gone feral.
*Ghiscari Empire and Slavers Bay: Conquered by the Freehold, has multiple city state successors. The biggest place for slavery in the world.
**Old Ghis:
**New Ghis:
**Astapor:
**Yunkai:
**Meereen:
*Lhazosh:
*Qarth:
*Ib: Home of the Ibians.
*The Dothraki Sea:
**Vaes Dothrak: The capital and only permanent Dothraki settlement. It is forbidden to carry weapons or spill blood here (doesn't mean you can't kill through other means).
*Post Dothraki survivor city states:
**Saath:
**Morosh:
**Omber:
*Great Moraq Isle:
*Hyrkoon and successors, and the Big Mountain Range:
*Empire of the Dawn:
** Stygai:
Successor states to the old empire:
*Golden Empire of Yi Ti:
**The Five Forts:
*The Jogos Nhai:
*Asshai-by-the-Shadow:
*Leng:
*Minor Far Eastern nations:
**N'Ghai:
**Mossovy:
**The Thousand Isles:
*The Great Waste:

'''Summer Isles''':

'''Sothoryos''':
Jungle hell.
*Yeen: Made of the same creepy black metal in Stygai, implied to be an old Empire of the Dawn Outpost. Even the death world jungle (as in, not just the animals, the actual jungle itself) refuses to go in there for fear of dying.

'''Ulthos''':

'''Minor non-continental Isles''':
*Naath: About halfway between the Summer Isles and the northeast coast of Sothoryos.

==The appeal of A Song of Ice And Fire==
Exactly what catches the eyes of [[Skub|a given fan/critic/lout who complains about how bad it is anytime the show is mentioned within earshot]] to ASOIAF and its TV adaptation varies from individual to individual. Still, there's a couple of major draws.

'''The Worldbuilding:''' The main reason why this series gets compared to [[The Lord of the Rings]], ASOIAF is literally ''drowning'' under the weight of its worldbuilding, being crammed as full of facts about fictitious regions, histories, cultures, dynasties and races as GRRM can fit it. Your mileage will vary on how ''good'' that info is, but there's plenty of info in it. It is worth noting that much of the vagueness of various aspects of the world's lore comes down to the limited perspectives of each of the characters' point of view, so many places and events are often only known partially through superstition, rumors, and often second hand experiences passed down and muddled over time; all of which play quite heavily into the overall story structure of the series.

'''A vast colorful Cast:''' A lot of works of fantasy get by with a few archetypal characters (the Young Guy out to Prove himself, the Wise Wizard, the Dark Lord, the Mischievous One, the Grizzled Veteran, the Dwarf, etc) and maybe a guy or two which rises above this. A Song of Ice and Fire has a lot of people which get a viewpoint each with different situations, drives, motives and quirks that make them reasonably interesting. Even if you don't like one of them, there are plenty of others. When they die, it often hits home. Speaking of which...

'''Mainstream [[Dark Fantasy]]:''' Dark Fantasy is not exactly a mainstream niche. ASOIAF stands out by deliberately trying to market itself to the mainstream, despite embracing an abundance of dark fantasy tropes; gratuitous violence, sexuality and sexual violence, moral ambiguity, political intrigue, and a willingness to suddenly kill off any character, even the most likeable or heroic of them.

'''[[Low Fantasy]]:''' On the surface, ASOIAF is an old-school Low Fantasy setting, being a medieval-tech world with the story openly focused on the mundane lives of people struggling for political power and though supernatural elements do exist, they tend to be used sparingly.

'''[[High Fantasy]]:''' But if you scratch the surface, ASOIAF is also a High Fantasy setting, which is always the more marketable of the two, with the big backstory about how the world is facing impending doom from an army of wintery [[fey]] and their [[undead]] minions. There are also non-evil higher powers working against them, but they get swept under the rug in the show. Also, [[dragon]]s. As the more marketable genre, it's also inevitably the more skubby one, for whatever that's worth.

'''[[Magical Realm|Gratuitous Sexuality]]:''' More a thing for the TV show than the books; GRRM's scenes were [[Rape|raepy]] in the earlier volumes, and apparently our boy must have overheard the nickname "George Rape Rape Martin (I ''Like'' Rape)", because he dialed back the forced boning in #4-5. The frequent scenes of nudity and sex in the early seasons of the show were a ''big'' selling point for many people (the casting of people from the sex industry for some of these scenes also helped).

'''Not much in terms of generic fantasy tropes:''' Hate how almost every fantasy just has to have things popularized by Tolkien such as elves, dwarves, orcs and all that stuff? You're in luck because ASOIAF doesn't have a "five races" system, their accompanying stereotypes or the plot hinging on a magic item. On the other hand, it does have several generic fantasy tropes, such as [[dragon]]s, [[Medieval Stasis]], [[undead]] and at least two contenders for [[BBEG|Dark Lord]] status, so if you hate them too, well...

==Oh Yeah, About The TV Show==
[[image:KnightsWhoSayFuck.jpg|150px|thumb|left|Yeah, pretty much.]]

{{Skubby}}

After the first three books became hits, many Hollywood producers and directors had come to the sadistic neckbeard, asking him about making a movie adaptation. At first, he was reluctant at best, due to the fact that a lot of his content would've been cut out to fit into a movie trilogy (see the Lord of the Rings live-action films). Then, a couple of dudes, David Benioff and D.B/Daniel Brett Weiss (AKA D&D, or more accurately as of the final season, Dumb & Dumber), decided to contact him and asked him at a local restaurant about turning ASOIAF into a Television show produced by HBO, the top-rated soft-core porno channel. The story goes that George asked them a very specific question (Who is Jon Snow's mother?). Satisfied with the response they gave, he gave them permission to start work on the show, which would be titled after the first book, ''Game of Thrones''. They would later go on to prove that this is not a good way of choosing who should adapt your work.

The television show casts several well-known performers, such as Sean Bean as Eddard, Peter Dinklage as Tyrion, Lena Headey as Cersei, and Charles Dance as Tywin. They have also cast some comparatively less well-known actors and even ones new to cinema, such as Sophie Turner (Sansa), Maisie Williams (Arya), Kit Harington (Jon), Iwan Rheon (Ramsay), Alfie Allen (Theon), and Richard Madden (Robb)

Thus, book snobs seem to think that every episode post-season 4 is nothing more than Emmy-bait. Regardless of the fact Kit Harington still [[Fail|doesn't have an Emmy]], there's a valid contention in that regard, with the number of liberties taken overshadowing the initial appeal.

The final season (more on that below) was eventually revealed to be such a train wreck because Dumb & Dumber did not want to work on the series anymore and had let the success with the earlier seasons go to their heads. In their arrogance, instead of handing the reins to someone else, they decided to plan out their own ending and use it as an audition to Disney so they could write for Star Wars. By then, they'd run out of books to adapt, there was no superior writing for them to leech off of and there was no one to gainsay them in their echo chamber of a writer's room (even George himself was cut out). The result was absolutely shit writing that caused a glorious breakage in the [[skub]] dam that left [[Butthurt|many a fan's anus weeping]] (provided they weren't early seasons fans, book series fans, or any of the other assorted onlookers [[Lulz|taking part in the mightiest of keks]]) and, if anything proved <s>George's </s> Ramsay's quote at the beginning of the article true. Goddamn Dumb & Dumber, could you talentless Derp machines do any worse if you tried? Luckily, comeuppance came after them and Disney, having some sense, told them to fuck off with their [[Star Wars]] ideas after the backlash towards the final season. Not that Disney Star Wars has been without its share of controversy and [[Rage]], but you know it's bad when someone gets told to piss off from even that.

The Greatest Irony and Tragedy of the show's writing was that in the first few seasons, with George RR Martin consulting them and with a wealth of material from the first few books to work with, D&D were actually pretty damn good at adapting the books into a TV format. In fact, quite a few scenes were in fact not only adapted, but actually created from scratch outside of the source material. One of the most noteworthy is the iconic introduction of Tywin Lannister in Season 1 Episode 7, where we learn everything we need to know about his character with nothing but precisely chosen dialogue and a rather blunt visual metaphor of him gutting a stag he slew in a hunt, all while brutally laying into Season 1's initially perceived villain, Jaime. Contrast this with Season 5 where the show's major decline began with blunders such as the omission of fan-favorite Lady Stoneheart, literally butchering the Dorne subplot with Martell family team-killing and changing the Sparrows' movement to a militant atheist's stereotype of religion. This decline makes a lot more sense after George himself admitted that Season 5 was the first Season where he was was really locked out of the loop.

Goes to show how much they had fallen when the well ran dry and the show' writing and adaptation process was no longer the finely honed instrument it had started as.

'''TL;DR'''

[[GM|Producers Dumb&Dumber-style change characters and railroad the plot at a whim,]] [[/d/M|the tits and ultraviolence spigot is opened even wider than the books,]] and most scenes are made for the actors to show off their skills at making their signature angry/murder/brooding/etc. faces. Season 1-4 are worth your time, 7 and 8 are best ignored, and 5 and 6 are the [[Skub]] ones.

===The Final <s>Dumpster Fire</s> Season===
{{Fail}}
{{HurfDurf}}
{{Plot Armour}}

Seasons 5, 6, and especially 7 all got their share of grief from people. Mostly deserved in the case of that last one, and [[Skub|arguably so]] for 5 and 6 (though the latter did at least finally give Ramsay his just desserts). Season 8 though? Well, read on:

The Final Season kicks off with the Night King's army attacking Winterfell in a battle meant to be epic, but instead so chock full of tactical [[Fail|fails]] from the living, they make General Custer look like Sun Tzu. The most infamous examples include Melisandre not giving the Dothraki flaming arrows, putting soldiers in front of defenses they should be behind or standing on, no flanking charges and hiding the non-combatants in a crypt while fighting necromancers. The battle is resolved when Arya teleports directly to the BBEG and kills him with some sleight-of-hand that destroys his entire army Keystone Army trope-style and ends the winter. Also Theon, Jorah and Melisandre die, but the story sweeps their deaths under the rug like they're nameless background characters.

Then the Westerosi go full-retard and start hating Daenerys. Yes really; Dany helped end a nation-destroying winter plus a zombie apocalypse, has a claim to the throne AND is their best ally against Cersei... but they want her gone. Even Sansa suddenly turns against Dany and starts seeking the throne, despite having no claim to the rest of Westeros and Dany being easily able to kill her for treason. Everyone inexplicably starts wanting Jon to be king despite his attempt to abdicate, and Jon himself even starts thinking Aunt Daenerys might be a bad queen... but that doesn't stop him from [[Incest Smith|starting a sexual relationship with her]]. The fact that Robert's bastard son Gendry is now a lord, giving him a claim to the throne at least as strong as Dany's or Jon's, is swept under the rug. Varys also jumps ship from Dany to Jon for no reason, even trying to kill Dany in an uncharacteristically stupid move. For his efforts, Tyrion reports Varys to Daenerys, who has Varys executed by Drogon's fire-breath.

Then Daenerys press-gangs people who should logically be happy to fight for her into an army to attack King's Landing and brings them there by sea. Along the way Rhaegal, one of Daenerys' two surviving dragons, is killed by ballistae from Euron's ships. This is despite the facts that Daenerys and her dragons should've easily been able to spot the ships, they were flying well out of ballista range and Euron had no way of knowing where they'd be. After Daenerys and Drogon single-handedly destroy the Iron Fleet (amid poorly animated weather*), they reach King's Landing. Cersei's artillery does nothing despite Daenerys, all her advisors and her dragon being within lethal range plus Cersei's lack of scruples. They in turn do nothing but watch Daenerys' friend Missandei, who was captured offscreen earlier, get executed by zombie-Gregor (despite the fact Cersei and co. had no reason to believe Missandei was anyone of import to either capture or execute. Maybe someone left a copy of the script in Cersei's solar next to her Starbucks latte**)

The battle for King's Landing has Daenerys' forces break in and battle through the streets. Meanwhile Jaime snuck though the tunnels [[Fail|to find and reconcile with Cersei. The Hound regresses to his old violent self and tracks down zombie-Gregor to take him down in a battle that kills them both (although most consider this the one bright spot in the episode). Arya gives up on revenge and decides to let Cersei go despite having strong non-revenge-related reasons to kill her]]. The famed Golden Company is quickly killed off and Cersei signals a surrender by ringing the bells (the bells aren't, and have never been, signals for surrender). Then, in the capstone of bad writing for this season, Daenerys' switch flips from good to evil because the writers want it to happen, and Dany abandons her plan of freeing and leading Westeros to purging King's Landing with her dragon and army. Cersei and Jamie die together in a cave-in and Tyrion mourns their deaths despite being ready and eager to personally kill Cersei earlier. This is followed by Dany's Saruman/Hitler-esque speech that has nothing to do with her former character. Tyrion is arrested for criticizing Daenerys by saying "If this is liberation, I don't believe in liberation theology." Yes, [[Derp|the writers think theology and ideology are the same thing]] (an unsurprising mistake, given they shoehorned in anti-religious rants for the past three Seasons despite the books' even-handedness). This last one has proven to be its own personal bit of Skub, as many have argued that Daenerys going evil is in keeping with the cynical themes and tone of the setting. While this isn't wrong on its face, it does nothing to change the fact that the execution is 100% half-assed. Walter White's descent into villainy this is not, or even Anakin's arc in the Star Wars Prequels, which looks like The Godfather compared to what Season 8 does with Daenerys.

In the aftermath, Jon assassinates Daenerys for the King's Landing massacre... [[Derp|right in front of her dragon]]. Drogon, due to Jon's stronger-than-Valyrian-steel-plot-armor, doesn't kill him but melts the Iron Throne ([[What|accidentally according to the showrunners]]) while chucking a tantrum before grabbing Dany's body and flying away. Jon is somehow charged with Dany's murder despite there being no evidence that he did it, but surprisingly none of the surviving characters still loyal to Dany try to kill Jon (such as the Unsullied or the Dothraki). Despite there being several legitimate choices of king still available, including Gendry, the nobles decide to replace a dynastic monarchy with an elective one and make Bran king. Bran is nominated by Tyrion for a nonsensical reason ("he has the best story"), Tyrion somehow getting a say in the meeting despite being imprisoned for treason.

The Unsullied go to Southros under command of Grey Worm (the only one who still has a personality at this point). The Dothraki are forgotten about by everyone else. Tyrion is freed and made Hand of the King to Brann. Brienne is made Commander of the Kingsguard. [[Derp|Bronn is made Master of Coin. Samwell is made the new Grand Maester]] and [[What|the North secedes and becomes independent under Queen Sansa (which definitely wouldn't cause future problems and tensions)]]. [[The Lord of the Rings|Arya sails to the West]] for some unknown reason and Jon is exiled but doesn't care because he gets to go back up north with the Wildings like he wanted. The end.

This trainwreck of a plot is a testament to how two morons can royally fuck up a show beyond any redeeming qualities the cast and crew can put forward. And even then there were screw-ups among the production staff, such as *the animators being unable to decide whether the sky is sunny or overcast when Dany and Drogon destroy the Iron Fleet - which mattered because Dany's plan to not get shot down involved having the sun behind her - and **not removing the actors' water bottles and coffee cups from the set before shooting. Hyperbole is sort of the norm here, but it really is hard to overstate how badly Season 8's finale fucks up. Game of Thrones was ''everywhere'' culturally for most of the 2010s, drawing in huge numbers of people who would otherwise never be caught dead indulging in High Fantasy works with us uber-nerds. Now, the entire Thrones fandom has practically disappeared or gone underground. Honestly, it would be an impressive achievement if it weren't so terrible.

==House of the Dragon: The ''other'' TV show==

{{Topquote|If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again.|Benjamin Franklin}}

Deciding that there was still a market for Game of Thrones stuff even after the last season turned the 2010s biggest pop-culture phenomenon into a laughingstock*, HBO bet the bank on some spin-offs, the first of which is now upon us. House of the Dragon is a prequel dealing with the Dance of Dragons, a civil war between two Targaryen factions that ends up consuming Westeros and everyone in it World-War style, and featuring lots of dragons fighting dragons and the standard Westeros fare of fairly bad people doing extremely bad things. Like Game of Thrones before it, it boasts a star-studded cast, a big budget, and a lot of hype. Time will tell if it redeems the failures of the original show or repeats them. If there's a reason to be optimistic (aside from Dumb and Dumber being absent), it would be that the whole story of the Dance of Dragons is written and mapped out, meaning the writers don't have to come up with their own shit to make an ending that George hasn't yet written.

*Given that the premiere was apparently so widely watched it crashed the streaming for many people, they might actually be right.

==GRRM and [[Your Dudes]]==
Want to make your own ASoIF setting for a role-playing game? Well, readers have enough room to fantasize about their own minor noble House (or kingdom during the Age of the Hundred Kingdoms).

A good example of what you could do is the House from the old [[/v/|"Telltale Game of Thrones"]], House Forrester. Their relationship to the canon is as follows:

House Forrester (lords of someplace in the Wolfswood) '''-> is sworn to ->''' House Glover (overall lords of the entire Wolfswood) '''-> is sworn to ->''' House Stark (rulers of the North).

There's also an actual tie-in tabletop RPG now, which uses its own system and looks kind of like [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]] with a heavy helping of resource-management strategy feel.
Players are assuming the role of a minor House to guide to glory, or, more accurately given the setting we're in, NOT to ruin utterly in a season or two, which would still be more than many A-list players mustered in canon. Each PC has a specific position within said House, and only the role of official Head is mandatory; the rest could be wife/children/brothers and sisters/all other kinds of siblings, bastards (with rules for obtaining the legitimate recognition), maesters, sworn/subservient knights, or most of anybody else. This naturally opens up near-infinite possibilities for families screwed up seven ways to high heavens, which would make Lannister's brand of infighting-slash-inbreeding look as sane as the High Septon.

The setting is also ill-suited for "adventures in Westeros" style of gaming for two reasons:
#In the grim darkness of low fantasy, a roaming nobody with no banner to talk about, no House allegiance, no nothing isn't generally treated to a Tavern With Quest Givers, but rather more to a Tavern Where You Are Shanked For Your Sword And Boots And Dumped At The Nearest Forest. Heck, even the big wheelers and dealers are routinely seen invited to the latter when they are slow to properly introduce themselves.
#Working on your initially-puny House will quite realistically involve thy neighbours first and foremost, then liege lords from the higher House yours is sworn to, and on occasion shopping around for an advantageous marriage - there simply ain't gonna be that much spare time to "travel to see places". Both of these are also why tourism wasn't a very popular pastime in medieval Europe (aside from Pilgrimages to Jerusalem, Cologne and Santiago de Compostela) and why those who were "living on the road" usually enjoyed the lowest social standing.

A note to aspiring Lords: do NOT, under any circumstances, allow your "combat-optimized" siblings an unsupervised minute in a social setting. Game's "social combat" system is a thing more brutal than the physical one, and it takes a socially-optimized character all of a few minutes to mindfuck one who is not (read: everyone but dedicated diplomats and Heads of the Houses, and not every one of the latter, to boot, as illustrated by several amazing boneheads in canon) into believing pretty much anything short of Grumpkins and Snarks. Stupid NPCs or a stupid GM will make said mindfuck obvious, allowing you to "mindfuck 'em back" without abuse of OOC info; cunning ones will not.

On a side-note; GRRM is said to take a dim view of fanfiction, saying it kills creative ability. This is kind of a double-edged statement, since a lot of George's characters here are either rehashes of his characters from previous works, references to other fictional characters (like Littlefinger and Samwell being based on Jay Gatsby and [[The Lord of the Rings|Samwise Gamgee]]), walking tropes (such as Ned Stark and Robb Stark being the "[[TVTropes|Honor Before ]] [[Lawful Stupid|Reason]]" characters) or historical references (such House Lannister ripping off House Lancaster and House Tyrell being totally-not-House-Tudor - to the point that Margaery Tyrell is played by Natalie Dormer from "The Tudors" TV show). While this makes everything he wrote just another...fanfiction, and his disapproval hypocritical. Still, given the "creative" output of the average neckbeard, he's perhaps not entirely wrong. For another layer of irony/hypocrisy, he sold the rights to make a TV series of the books to HBO, who's adaptation would eventually devolve into a glorified fanfic.

==Games==
[[image:AGot-2nd-ed-cardfan.png|thumb|250px]]
Like any fantasy author who finds themselves unexpectedly in the warm embrace of commercial success, Martin quickly licensed the shit out of his setting; spawning everything from resin miniatures to replica great swords. While most of this is worthless junk to foist on [[Neckbeard|obsessive fanboys]] /tg/ has agreed that a few of the games are made of win. The first two are a collectable [[CCG|card game]] put out in 2002 by [[Fantasy Flight Games]] and a [[Risk]]-esque board game that followed shortly after in 2003. One of [[White Wolf]]'s subsidiaries also put out a [[d20 System|d20 RPG]] in 2005 but it quickly tanked because, come on, [[White Wolf]]. Martin since wrested the rights back and developed a new version with [[Green Ronin Games]].

Now let's have some serious talks about the Game of Thrones games, because they have become some sort of endless source of [[Skub|amusement and frustration]] for the gaming fanbase. Game of Thrones is, roughly speaking, the second franchise with the most licensed board games, after [[Star Wars]]. Some of them have acquired quite a legendary status and a fanbase that goes beyond the book or series fans.

The great juggernaut for all the ASOIAF-based games is [[Fantasy Flight Games]]:
* First and foremost we have [https://www.fantasyflightgames.com/en/products/a-game-of-thrones-the-board-game-second-edition/ ''A Game of Thrones: The Board Game'']: a game that after two editions still ranks high in /bgg/'s top 100, and has recently had an expansion. The board game has become some sort of meme for the modern board gamers and it could be considered the equivalent of a more advanced [[Risk]], in which dice and blank character got replaced by a very flavourful and brutal combat system and a lot of thematical mechanics fueling the engine. Overall this game has been associated with concepts such as requiring maximum player count to really be entertaining, having an amazing amount of length and depth and being a very faithful representation of the political feeling the series inspired. Almost any boardgamer or wargamer worth his salt has played this game and enjoyed its highs, its lows and the amazing amount of frustrations it brings. This is probably the most well known of all the ASOIAF games and it was released way before Game of Thrones was a cultural phenomenon back in 2003.<br>
:It also has a digital edition, sold on Steam and Android

* Another game that bears mention, both for its excellent mechanics and its historical significance is [https://www.fantasyflightgames.com/en/products/a-game-of-thrones-the-card-game-second-edition/ A Game of Thrones: The Card Game]. It is one of the most balanced card game experiences you can get, also full of flavour and with quite a great amount of balance and non-linear thinking. The best part is, unlike certain other popular card games, the game follows the living card game format: players know exactly what each booster pack brings and can buy cards in a more responsible manner, rather than playing bingo and hoping to get a rare card. Also, the sole core set already provides more replayability than some fully-fledged board games.

* Finally, the last game to mention in the [[Fantasy Flight Games|FFG]] venerable trilogy of games is [https://www.fantasyflightgames.com/en/products/battles-of-westeros/ ''Battles of Westeros''], arguably the most ambitious and least successful of the three. Battles of Westeros was a fully-fledged wargame that used the [[Memoir 44]] and [[BattleLore]] rules as a base, but then evolved into its own by introducing mechanics such as commanders, tactic cards, and very creative scenario rules. Miniatures were made in 15mm and, for their time and scale, they were quite detailed; some commanders are real standouts (for example, Robb Stark's has his direwolf jumping at his side).<br>
:Thanks to its scale, the game was able to provide players with a great number of options and units at a fraction of the price of other board games. With a core set that was already stacked with units and variety, and then faction-specific expansions that added several more units and commanders. The game also came with scenario books that provided narrative play with quite creative rule variants, such as storming palisades, having decoys in escort missions, and bombarding enemies with catapults. One scenario even tried to bring to life the Battle of the Blackwater (the hybrid invasion of King's Landing by Stannis ''the God-Damn Mannis'' Baratheon). The game was incredible and quite a creative wargame, but its main issue was that the setup time was just terrible. Incredibly complex and tiresome when compared to the actual gameplay time.

There are others, such as the ASOIAF-themed [[Settlers of Catan|Catan]] expansion called [https://www.fantasyflightgames.com/en/products/a-game-of-thrones-catan-brotherhood-of-the-watch/ ''A Game of Thrones Catan: Brotherhood of the Watch''], another card game called [https://www.fantasyflightgames.com/en/products/hand-of-the-king/ ''A Game of Thrones: Hand of the King''], and another board game [https://www.fantasyflightgames.com/en/products/game-of-thrones-the-iron-throne/#/products-section ''Game of Thrones: The Iron Throne'']. The quality of those, however, remains to be seen.

And then the miniature-producing Kickstarter juggernaut [[CMON]] decided to produce its own [[wargame]], with AMAZING miniatures. The game began with, of course, a [https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/cmon/a-song-of-ice-and-fire-tabletop-miniatures-game Kickstarter], and after that, the game has had at least 2 dozen more releases with 3 more factions added.<br>
The game has some mechanics taken from rank and file games, such as [[Kings of War]], combining them with mechanics taken out of "battles of Westeros" particularly the tactics deck. A new page is in the works: [[ASOIAF Miniature Game]]

==Books==
*''A Game of Thrones''
*''A Clash of Kings''
*''A Storm of Swords'': Split into 2
*''A Feast for Crows'': half the characters, the point where the series goes down the toilet
*''A Dance with Dragons'': split into 2 the first is about the other half of the characters, and manages to pick things up a bit
*''The Winds of Winter'': First rumored to be ready by late 2018, then given an official release date of Summer 2020, those times have come and gone and the book is unreleased. Though he has shared chapters of the book.
*''A Dream of Spring'' : Unreleased and unlikely to ever be.
** GRRM will most likely die before writing this, though he has given an outline for how he wants the series to end that might be made public knowledge if he dies before the book series is finished.
*''The Dunk and Egg Series'': A story about a landless hedge knight travelling across Westeros with a Targaryen squire, so he can teach him how not to be an asshole to peasants.

==On The "Grimdarkness" of the Setting==

One important note: While the setting is usually held to be "Grimdark", it is also very true to Real Life in its nastiness, with real consequences for assholes. George himself has said, quote; "No matter how much I make up, there's stuff in history that's just as bad, or worse." Book one is almost exactly the beginning of the War of the Roses, except with England enlarged to a continent's size and the seasons stretched out to let the travel times work. (...And then the dragons wake up, the ice elves and their undead armies return and magic makes a comeback. It's not a perfect analogy. All that stuff is closed in their own sub plots and they don't involve the main continent in the book, that is left to "common" war and plotting.)

For example: The King can order the execution of the head of the leading noble family of the North, for essentially no reason, but now he doesn't have hostages to exchange when their relatives and/or armies come after him seeking revenge. (And all this is modeled on various occasions where more or less '''exactly''' this kind of thing happened in real life medieval Europe.)

In other words: Truly heinous shit goes on, and there's nothing ''stopping'' that kind of shit... but there are ''consequences'' to that kind of shit that act as an effective counterbalance against being seen to do that kind of shit to the smarter nobles in the kingdom. And, because anyone can die, the shittiest characters are no more guaranteed survival than the nicest.

Also worth mentioning that there's reason to think that, despite the quote that began this page, the series may not actually end on [[The End Times|100% downer note]], as Martin has said he hopes his series will end in a way akin to the Scouring of the Shire from Lord of the Rings, which, despite the name, is more of a bittersweet ending. So who knows (though this also presumes the author will actually get around to finishing the series at all).

In sum, whether the setting fully qualifies for "Grimdark" is a matter for debate, in other words. Probably the best way of looking at is that it is Grimdark, but in a nuanced way.

==See Also==
*[[/tg/ Song of Ice and Fire Houses]]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U7NpSubAJQ Weiner, Weiner weiner]

[[category: Literature]]

Gaslamp Fantasy

2022-08-23T07:10:25Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:7CC4:6403:F477:2B18: /* List of Gaslamp Fantasy Games */

'''Gaslamp Fantasy''' (also ''Gaslight Fantasy'' or ''Gaslamp/Gaslight Romance'') is the magical equivalent to [[Steampunk]] in the array of [[Setting Aesthetics]], combining Victorian Era Earth aesthetics (if not set during that time completely) with wide-spread magic - usually in a [[Dark Fantasy]] or [[Heroic Fantasy]] level. The term is rare, having been coined by the webcomic "Girl Genius" to make itself stand out better from the Steampunk crowd, but it is a recognized [[TVTropes|trope]], and has come to be applied retroactively to many existing works of "steampunk" or "gothic horror".

The key difference between gaslamp fantasy and steampunk is that steampunk focuses on alternate developments in technology (and need not have any magic at all), while gaslamp fantasy focuses on supernatural elements (and need not have any technology that didn't actually exist). Yet, the two can overlap, especially with Magitek and in settings that make use of what [[TVTropes]] describes as "Phlebotinum-Induced Steampunk" - the addition of some fantastical element or other that makes steampunk technology actually viable.

Girl Genius created the term because its creators wanted to avoid confusion with a comic named "Steampunk", but also because it was focused on more than just advanced steam power, was not a dystopian-type "Punk" work, despite having similar aesthetics, and is heavy on mad science to the point of being basically a magical version of 19th/20th century Earth that was pretending it was actually a scientific world.

This creative genre should not be confused with the other type of gaslight fantasy, which is when an evil corporation replaces [[Warhammer Fantasy Battles|your favorite game system]] with [[Age Of Sigmar|a lame 40K clone]] and then spends years attempting to convince you that this is somehow an improvement.

==List of Gaslamp Fantasy Games==
* [[Blades in the Dark]]
* [[Broken Gears]]
* [[Call of Cthulhu]] - [[Cthulhu by Gaslight]] subsetting
* [[Castle Falkenstein]]
* [[Deadlands]] (Gaslamp Fantasy/[[Screampunk]]/[[Cattlepunk]] hybrid)
* [[Etherscope]]
* [[GURPS]] - GURPS Goblins and GURPS [[Steampunk]] 1: Settings and Style
* [[Mage: The Ascension]] - This is the [[Reality Paradigm]] of the [[Sons of Ether]] faction.
* [[Magic: The Gathering]] - The [[plane]] of [[Ravnica]] has an aesthetic (especially in the areas controlled by the [[Izzet League]]) that falls under either this or [[Dungeonpunk]].
* [[Masque of the Red Death]] (Gaslamp Fantasy/Gothic Horror)
* [[Rippers]]
* [[Unhallowed Metropolis]] (Gaslamp Fantasy/[[Screampunk]] hybrid)
* [[Victoriana]]
*Technically a video game but [[Thief]] (Jokes on you, there's a Thief tabletop RPG! Link on the Thief page)

==TVTropes Link==
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GaslampFantasy

[[Category: Gamer Slang]] [[Category: Setting Aesthetics]]

Dark Heresy

2022-08-22T18:24:53Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:7CC4:6403:F477:2B18: /* Historical */

:''This page refers to the first edition of '''Dark Heresy'''. For the newest edition, see [[Dark Heresy Second Edition]].''
{{Game Infobox
|name = Dark Heresy
|picture = [[Image:DHlogo.gif|200px]]
|type = RPG
|system = d%
|playno = 3+
|time = 10+ minutes
|publisher = Fantasy Flight Games
|authors = Owen Barnes, Kate Flack, Mike Mason
|year = 2008
|books = Dark Heresy Core Rulebook
<div class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="width:175px">
*''The Game Master's Kit''
*''Purge the Unclean''
*''The Inquisitor's Handbook''
*''Disciples of the Dark Gods''
*''Creatures Anathema''
*''Tattered Fates''
*''Damned Cities''
*''The Radical's Handbook''
*''Ascension''
*''Dead Stars''
*''Blood of Martyrs''
*''The Black Sepulchre''
*''Daemon Hunter''
*''Church of the Damned''
*''Book of Judgement''
*''The Haarlock's Legacy Trilogy''
*''The Chaos Commandment''
*''The Lathe Worlds''</div>
}}
'''''Dark Heresy''''' is a RPG set in the ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]'' universe. It is to 40k as ''[[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]]'' is to ''[[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]]'', and indeed uses a very similar system.

Basically you're fucked like in [[WFRP]], only instead of dying from blood poisoning caused by a dirty pitchfork you get to have your innards blown across the wall and then subsequently set on fire by a plasma gun (probably your own). This is if you are lucky. All kinds of worse things can happen - being eaten by xenos or hungry daemons, afflicted by Chaos mutation, and if you are especially unfortunate... *gulp* ...surviving to reach Inquisitorhood. It has the best critical hit charts ever made. You don't even need the rest of the game (although it is all good, it's just a LOT). Just start a campaign, wing it, and whenever anyone gets a good hit, roll on the critical hit charts. Holy fucking hell, did boiling bone marrow just turn my femur into a frag grenade? Fuck.

All player characters are supposed to be human acolytes working for the [[Inquisition]], although they may come from many different vocations. From the feral world warrior to the hive ganger, from the inducted Guardsman to the detached Sister of Battle. However, whilst the official adventures focus on inquisitorial investigations, the authors themselves have acknowledged the ease of relocating the game's focus to other aspects of the 41st millennium, such as an [[Imperial Guard]] platoon where all player characters are soldiers in one of the many warzones.

Some anons have expressed dislike towards Dark Heresy due to the limited power-level, as the current official ruleset does not allow players to assume the roles of [[Space Marine|Spess Mehreens]] (with the exception of the [[Grey Knights]], but the splatbook that introduces them warns you that letting the token Ward fanboy play one may lead to overpowered game-wrecking [[Powergamer | bullshit]] if not done very carefully) or any aliens, since those characters would simply be unfit for this kind of gameplay. So, if you want to play Spess Mehreens, Farseers or Fire Warriors, ''Dark Heresy'' might not be for you - get the Inquisitor, Rogue Trader, Deathwatch, or Black Crusade additions to fulfill your Mary/Marty Sue/Stu fantasies.

However, there are also several player-created supplements dealing with additional career paths like Adeptus Astartes or xenos races like Orks. Check the Dark Reign link at the end of the page for this kind of material, should playing ordinary people with [[Imperial Guard|balls of steel]] be beneath your dignity.

This edition of Dark Heresy has pretty much been shut down and replaced with [[Dark Heresy Second Edition]].

==Careers==
Including the Inquisitor's Handbook, Blood of Martyrs, & Daemon Hunter supplements, the playable character classes and career trees are:
*'''Adept''' (Lexograph or Logister) - The brains of the party, quite useful when it comes to knowledge.
*'''[[Sisters of Battle|Adepta Sororitas]]''' (Famulous, Hospitaller, or Battle Sister) - Nuns with guns. The ''Inquisitor's Handbook'' adds in Sisters of Battle, but it represents them in a general light, so one might just be a booky nun rather than shooty. With ''Blood of Martyrs'', rules are added in for strictly being bolter-bitches and nothing else.
*'''Arbitrator''' (Enforcer or Investigator) - [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aaubVlhNK4 Judge Dredd] in space. 'Nuff said.
*'''Assassin''' (Nihilator or Infiltrator) - Murderhobos with little to no training or scrubs who really wish they were working for the Officio Assassinorum. (depending on career).
*'''Cleric''' (Confessor or Zealot) - Clerics of the [[Empra]] who kick arse for the Throne. Imagine a priest with a sawn-off shotgun.
*'''Guardsman''' (Stormtrooper, Officer or Sniper) - See [[Imperial Guard]]
*'''[[Psyker|Imperial Psyker]]''' (Savant or Scholar) - Can try to channel the chaotic energies of the warp, usually with [[not as planned|mixed results]].
*'''Scum''' (Ganger or Fixer) - The rogues of 40k actually have a skill called "blather". Apart from that, the name says everything else you need to know about them.
*'''[[Adeptus Mechanicus|Tech-Priest]]''' (Technomancer or Omniprophet) - Borg clerics of the Omnissiah.
*'''[[Grey Knight]]''' (Strike Squad, Purgation Squad, or Purifier) - Super powerful, super fanatical Space Marines owned by the Inquisition for only the most dangerous and imperative missions, like killing Greater Daemons or Chaos Primarchs. If you choose this, you will single handedly turn your whole campaign into a [[Kaldor Draigo|Mary Sue campaign centered around you being a dickass]]. Well, only if your campaign is investigation-focused since GK's cannot investigate shit and generally undermine the entire cell's ability to work subtly unless locked in their room until the final battle.

Additional Career Paths are available in the splatbooks, such as all of the Ascension career paths.

*'''Crusader''' A Paladin pinched from 3.5 and made grimdark.
*'''Death Cult Assasin''' The real deal. What Murderhobos from the core rulebook wish they were.
*'''Desperado''' Scum who have managed to actually become GOOD at what they do, becoming Made Men and/or Mafia Dons.
*'''Hierophant''' If a Cleric is a Priest, these guys are Bishops.
*'''Interrogator''' Inquisitors in training.
*'''Judge''' [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kl_sRb0uQ7A Do we really have to explain this?]
*'''Magos''' As to Techpriest as Hierophant is to Cleric.
*'''Palatine''' A very angry nun with lots of guns, which gets other nuns to follow her on account of being the angriest and gunniest of the bunch.
*''' Primaris Psyker''' Holocaust on legs; a Primaris geared towards battle can roll 14 power die, and can kill twenty people at once (sometimes even enemies!) with a single cast.
*'''Sage''' Even Adepts think they're nerds.
*'''Storm Trooper''' Guardsman Special Forces. See [[Imperial Guard]].
*'''[[Vindicare]] Assassin''' Can be anything from a Murderhobo who's good with a gun, or a Guardsman sniper.
*'''Inquisitor''' Nobody expects them. except when they do.

Although all characters need to be human, their origins may vary wildly. To give just a few examples: feral world people tend to behave like Conan or Tarzan whilst hive-worlders could best be compared to Adam Jensen or Shadowrun characters, and the [[Schola Progenium]] produces fanatical Nazi zealots who are blissfully ignorant of the Imperium's more corrupt elements. Voidborn characters are usually just strange because of their pale skin - good luck convincing that angry mob over there your friend isn't a mutant.

==Important Things to Remember==

*[[Grimdark|Grim darkness]] is grim.
*Nobody expects the Imperial [[Inquisition]].
**Not even the [[Inquisitor]].
*When the [[Psyker]] attempts to use his [[not as planned|powers]], watch for strange things happening. Preferably from twenty metres away. Or farther.
*That guy over there looks strange. He is probably a heretic.
*'''USE COVER!'''
*'''USE GRENADES TOO!'''
*'''KILL IT WITH FIRE!'''
*If you meet a Chaos Space Marine, you're already dead, you're just too stupid to realize it yet.
*Everything is baleful. Everything.
*Sooner or later your GM will discover the Slaugth. If you suspect that this may be the case (maniacal laughter is a tell-tale sign), buy flame weapons. All the flame weapons.
* If you have a solid projectile or bolt type gun, get a fire selector. They're relatively cheap, and effectively triple your magazine size by allowing you to have three magazines loaded at the same time.

==How To Survive A Firefight==
Dark Heresy has something of a reputation for being highly lethal - your average starting character has somewhere between 9 and 14 wounds at most, and most rifle-class weapons do 1d10+3 damage on a hit - but assuming your GM isn't a complete dick and your characters fight intelligently, you can generally come off very well against most varieties of human opponent, and careful planning and equipment selection can even the odds even when fighting against xenos or demons.

Crucially, nobody takes as much damage as you might assume at first glance. Although the listed damage of weapons seems high compared to a character's total wounds, your toughness bonus and armour points both considerably reduce incoming damage. A starting Guardsman ignores between 6-8 points of damage from every attack, and that's assuming he's standing in the open like a gormless idiot. On top of this, one of the most commonly forgotten aspects of the Dark Heresy combat system is that everyone gets one Reaction per round, which can (among other things) be spent at any time to attempt to dodge or parry an attack, completely negating it. Although the odds of success aren't always fantastic, it's better to try and dodge that shot or parry that axe than sit there and take it!

Equipment selection is also very important. Although badass characters can indeed be very dangerous even with poor gear, even a low-rank inexperienced character can dramatically improve their combat effectiveness by making prudent choices when it comes to their loadout. If an acolyte cell plans together and chooses their equipment to complement each other, they can make themselves very deadly as a team. For a start, a set of Guard Flak armour is inexpensive, commonly available, comfortably wearable by all but the most unusually weedy characters, and dramatically improves your resilience to incoming fire. Any cell of acolytes that expects serious combat should be able to at least equip all its members with a set of Guard Flak, if it can't afford anything better.

When it comes to weapons, anyone can and should carry a few grenades if at all possible. Even for a character with low ballistic skill and no proficiency with grenades, all you need to do is land them reasonably close to whoever you're trying to hit. Depending on the precise situation, you might even be able to get away with dropping them on unsuspecting opponents from above or letting them roll down slopes to your foes, and they have the potential to injure multiple enemies at a time. Used properly, then can help turn the tide in a battle where you find yourself outnumbered.

The cell's primary firearms should be chosen to work well together. Weapons that can fire fully-automatic and weapons that have the Accurate quality are generally your best choices. A good hit with a full-auto burst can do serious damage to enemies, but by far their most important aspect is the ability to lay down Suppressive Fire. Crucially, even if you have terrible ballistic skill and no training with the weapon you're using, your ability to suppress enemies is completely unhindered. Your burst of fire almost certainly won't hit anything, but the difficulty of the test your foes must make to resist being pinned is unchanged regardless of how well you can aim. This can give less combat-oriented careers, such as the Adept, an important role to play when it comes to a fight, where they might otherwise have been reduced to hiding behind something heavy and occasionally plinking away with some crappy pistol.

High BS characters can be quite dangerous with fully automatic weapons, but should give serious consideration to using Accurate single-shot weapons, especially if they've picked up the Talents for making Called Shots at reduced penalty. Not only does an Accurate weapon grant an additional bonus to your chances to hit if you take the time to aim it, it can do extra dice of damage on a good shot - unlike a full-auto attack, this is a single hit that does more damage rather than multiple hits that are each individually subject to reduction by the target's toughness and armour. This makes Accurate weapons great at punching through the damage reduction of particularly tough enemies, particularly if combined with the Called Shot to aim for a part of the target that is less well armoured or isn't in cover properly. With appropriate weapon modifications (such as the Red Dot Sight) and a Half Action to aim, the acolyte is looking at at least a +30 bonus to hit and having a Full Action to aim raising it to +40. Most firefights will take place well within an Accurate weapon's effective short range, raising that bonus to +40 with a Half Action aiming or +50 with a Full Action aiming. Having a Telescopic Sight means that you don't have to worry for penalties for shooting at long or extreme range, if you need to go sniping.

Combine these two classes of weapon within your group, and you'll have some acolytes that lay down suppressive fire and force enemies into cover and some who can take accurate potshots at the suppressed enemies to take them down with little fear of receiving effective return fire. Any foe who manages to find cover sufficient to shield him from all shots can probably be reached with a well-placed grenade.

A good rule of thumb for any firefight is that if you're not in cover, all you should be doing is trying to change this state of affairs. Even if you're a tough guy in decent armour, the small amounts of damage that come through will add up if you're under fire by a lot of enemies. Take cover as quickly as you can whenever you can, and you drastically increase your odds of survival. Just as importantly, you must not be afraid of running away! The feeling that the group has to defeat every encounter that comes their way leads to many deaths. Sometimes, retreating in order to fight again some other day, hopefully better prepared, is the best option. If the fight isn't going your way - you're getting surrounded, taking too many injuries, or running out of munitions - make a break for it.

A cell of acolytes is at its most dangerous if it can prepare the area of the fight beforehand. Your role doesn't always have to be offensive, kicking in the cultists' door and firing wildly, hoping for the best; if you can figure out some way to lure your enemies to a carefully prepared killing zone (for example, your cell might pose as black market merchants with whom your enemies try to trade for supplies in order to bring them out of hiding), you hold a significant advantage. Heavy cover can be prepared in advance, with machine-gunners ready in hiding to cut down unsuspecting foes; scenery where enemies are likely to try and take cover once the fight begins can be rigged with booby traps or remote-detonator explosives. You can also position your group to surround the enemy and possibly attack from above, making it very difficult for them to find effective cover in the first place.

For psykers, you have ridiculously high chances of your brain exploding. Only cast if you need to, and do it with the minimum number of dice you can get away with to minimize perils. If you do cast, think carefully what sort of mind bullets you'll throw.

In conclusion, equipment and cohesive tactics are what make or break an acolyte cell in a serious firefight. Although having experience, high skills and plenty of talents helps, a lack of these is more than made up for by pimped out gear and a good plan. If you have both, your cell can become a force to fear even for very well trained and equipped enemies.

===Alternate take: The Rules of Not Dying Like an Idiot in the 41st Millenium===
# Always check the body. Or destroy it. Better yet, both.
# Never turn your back on an opponent.
# Three reloads for your main, minimum.
# Wear armour, even if it's just reinforced clothing.
# Geek the psyker first.
# There is such thing as overkill, just not when daemons are involved.
# Take care of your weapon.
# Violence is usually a good answer, but not ALWAYS the best.
# Mourn later, kill the bastards now.
# Always try the mundane answer first. The Warp is not the answer to every problem, and is more often than not the cause of said problem. Psykers who get too full of their own magical purple bullshit die horribly, and probably take a few of his friends with him.
# Grenades aren't just for killing. Cover destrution and area denial can be vital.
# Be careful when going through doors, as enemies can either be watching the door, and/or are waiting on the other side.
# ALWAYS have a sidearm. That includes you, CQC RapeBlender.
# Save some space in your backpack. You never know.
# When in doubt, fucking cheat. (in character)
# Be unpredictable. To your enemies. No one likes a LOLRANDUMB fucktard on their team.
# This list is subject to change without notice. Be flexible.
# With the exception of Rules 1-3, feel free to disregard any and all rules if they for some reason impede your survival. BE FUCKING FLEXIBLE.

==Sample Combat==

The party of bold/stupid/adventurous and ignorant members (perfect =][= material really) was investigating a psychic disturbance up on a large hillock of shale and scree. Upon getting most of the way up, the Arbites slips arse over head on loose scree and goes tumbling down, taking the Scum with him in the process in a manner which would please the chaos gods with its twisted irony... despite the Arbites denying it was deliberate as they tumble down together.

Both him and the Scum are really busted up in a tangled mess of broken bones, skulls and dirt at the bottom of the hill. The well-intentioned but stupid Psyker decides to save the day by announcing that he'll fix them up, and before Angry Nun can finish screaming out "no don't the veil is weak here!" he's happily botching a power roll.

"A Horror of the ruinous ones appears!"<br>
Arbites promptly passes out in fear<br>
Scum runs screaming, defecating and hobbling<br>
Tech Priest runs behind the truck, soiling his robes<br>
Psyker runs screaming so he can die tired<br>
Angry Nun gets angry(er)<br>

DING DING<br>
Round One!<br>
Horror sets Psyker on fire and sets off in pursuit<br>
Angry Nun hauls out 10G sawn-off and holy plasms of banishing, begins chasing the Horror ([[Indrick Boreale|bold and foolish!]])<br>
Psyker burns a bit but is still mostly functional at running<br>
Tech Priest snaps a shot off at the horror with las-carbine, doesn't do very much, resumes hiding<br>
Scum: "Weeeeza gunna diiiiiie!"; runs screaming for cover<br>
Arbites: "zzzz"<br>

DING DING<br>
Round Two!<br>
Horror lands a good old fire-bolt to the back of the Psyker and sets the truck on fire<br>
Angry Nun scores a good hit with some banishing water and hurts the Horror a bit<br>
Psyker is in a fair bit of pain, still on fire and running around going "Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh God-Emprah it burns!"<br>
Tech Priest notices the sacred machine is in pain and needs fixing<br>
Scum does what scum do and hides under the truck<br>
Arbites: "zzzz"<br>

DING DING<br>
Round Three!<br>
Horror bolts the Psyker a bit more<br>
Angry Nun grievously hurts the Horror a bit more<br>
Psyker is still on fire and roughly at about 0 wounds and about to go into criticals, agony level of about 8/10<br>
Tech Priest is doing badly at putting fire out<br>
Scum catches fire underneath the truck<br>
Arbites: 'zzzz'<br>

DING DING<br>
Round Four!<br>
Horror blows the foot off the Psyker with a bolt<br>
Angry Nun is busting up the Horror pretty good, but a bad roll on the dice means a lot less damage than hoped (even after a re-roll on a fate point)<br>
Psyker, still on fire, minus foot and now crawling in agony<br>
Tech Priest manages to get the truck fire under control<br>
Scum rolls around on fire<br>
Arbites wakes up, shrieks a bit and passes out again<br>

DING DING<br>
Round Five!<br>
Horror lands another bolt...<br>
Angry Nun snaps off some serious pain on the Horror, he's looking very wobbly now<br>
Psyker detonates in a shower of meat, shrapnel, armour and exploding munitions; the area is now safe, except for the Horror<br>
Tech Priest gets injured by chunks of Psyker<br>
Scum gets injured by chunks of Psyker, continues burning<br>
Arbites: 'zzzz'<br>

DING DING<br>
Round Six!<br>
Angry Nun vs Horror at the same initiative<br>
Angry Nun pulls trigger on sawn-off shotgun<br>
Horror lets loose with a Psychic Scream<br>
Angry Nun falls down on 5pts of Fatigue, Horror explodes in shower of gibs and returns whence it came<br>
Psyker rains down on the landscape in burning chunks<br>
Tech Priest puts the Scum out<br>
Scum is much happier now that he's not on fire anymore<br>
Arbites: 'zzzz' <br>

==Dramatis Personae of the Calixis Sector==

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====Historical====
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*'''Solomon Haarlock:''' Rogue Trader, discoverer of the Calyx Expanse.
*'''Golgenna Angevin:''' Lord Militant of the Angevin Crusade, which won the Calixis Sector for the Imperium. The crusade was a success in spite of his gross incompetence, mostly due to the actions of Drusus (see below).
*'''Drusus:''' General in the Angevin Crusade, responsible for cleaning up Lord Militant Angevin's massive cock-ups. Was assassinated on Maccabeus Quintus and was resurrected by the Emperor ([[Inquisition|at least supposedly]]) After the crusade, became Calixis' first Lord Sector Governor and was later canonised a saint nearly a hundred years after his passing. He also apparently fought King Ghidorah. Go ahead, look it up!
*'''Erasmus Haarlock:''' The last known member of the Haarlock Dynasty, who killed the rest of the family to avenge the death of his wife, and attempted to harness the power of the Tyrant Star to resurrect her. Hinted at being one of the Seven Devils of Calyx and the herald of the End Times. Continues to not be a ripoff of [[anime|Captain Harlock]].
*'''Umbra Malygris:''' An Arch-Magos and perpetrator of one of the most wide-scale tech-heresies in the sector's history, whose influence is still feared to this day.
*'''Cassilda Cognos:''' Founder of the Tyrantine Cabal.</div></div>

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====The Holy Ordos====
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*'''Aegult Caidin:''' Head of the Calixian Conclave. Spends most of his time being mysterious and shit. Nobody even knows what he looks like, because he always wears a mask.
*'''The Tyrantine Cabal:''' A group of Inquisitors dedicated to studying the Tyrant Star. Responsible for a lot of coverups even from the Inquisition as a whole. Members include:
**'''Anton Zerbe:''' Head of the Tyrantine Cabal, like any good Amalathian, he's trying to keep the other Cabal members from going at each others' throats.
**'''Rykehuss:''' Monodominant Witchhunter with all the subtlety of a brick to the face. Has a penchant for burning entire towns to the ground just because he has a funny feeling.
**'''Ahmazzi:''' Three hundred-year-old Daemonhunter. Wants you damn kids to get off his lawn. Is actually a wanted heretic with an Excommunication Order.
**'''Astrid Skane:''' A Recongregator, otherwise a female version of Judge Dredd. Can be quite subtle despite what you think, and hates Nobility.
**'''Van Vuygens:''' The foremost expert on Tyranids in the Calixis Sector. Currently investigating a large-scale xenos incursion that may or may not be the Slaugth.
**'''Globus Vaarak:''' A fat, sarcastic Amalathian who resembles Sloth from ''The Goonies'' if he had three artificial limbs. Responsible for training an above-average number of promising Interrogators.
**'''Olithane Rathbone:''' As an Istvaanian, she's the Cabal's resident shit-stirrer.
**'''Soldevan:''' Xanthite who's quite a few cards short of an Emperor's Tarot. His brain is in a jar he carries around. Did we mention he's crazy?
**'''Vownus Kaede:''' A psyker and Polypsykana sympathizer. Enjoys trolling Inquisitor Rykehuss.
**'''Al-Subaai:''' The newest member of the Cabal and former Interrogator for Inquisitor Van Vuygens. Focuses mainly on the Cold Trade. Knows the true purpose of Aglets and boybands.
*'''The Scholariate at Arms:''' A highly effective Ordo Malleus Chamber dedicated to the principle of strength through competition, and tolerates a broad number of factions within its membership. Members include:
**'''Ghankus Dhar:''' Proctor of the Scholariate. Lone survivor of a major Chaos incursion on Spectoris.
**'''Suresya:''' A secretive but effective Daemonhunter. Secretly a Phaenonite.
**'''Octus Enoch:''' Specializes in preventing Daemonic incursions through prevention or fulfillment of prophecy; may be an Ocularian for this reason.
*'''Silas Marr:''' An extremely controversial Inquisitor obsessed with the Haarlock Dynasty.
*'''Glavious Wroth:''' An Amalathian dedicated to policing the Inquistion itself, which has naturally made a lot of enemies (particularly the Tyrantine Cabal).
*'''Antonia Mesmeron:''' An Oblationist whose presence, identity and purpose is unknown to the Calixian Conclave.</div></div>

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====Adeptus Terra====
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*'''Marius Hax:''' Current Lord Sector. A complete hardass who rules the Calixis Sector with an iron fist. Known to be paranoid about that control slipping away from him. Presently being manipulated by the Istvaanian faction and undermined by the Recongregator faction.
*'''Duke Severus XIII:''' Lord Sub-sector of the Periphery and descendant of a Rogue Trader screwed by Drusus after the Angevin Crusade. [[Derp|Declared independence from the Imperium with the help of a kabal of Dark Eldar]]. Not mentioned in Dark Heresy, but the default setting for [[Only War]] deals with Severus getting his shit kicked in by the Imperium, Warboss Ghenghiz Grimtoof Git-Slaver, [[Thousand Sons|Sektoth the False Whisperer]], and his Dark Eldar "allies".</div></div>

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====Ministorum====
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">
*'''Ignato:''' Arch-Cardinal of the Calixis Sector, Cardinal of the Golgenna Reach, and head of the Tarsine Synod. Spends most of his time struggling to unify the sector Munitorum, dealing with Hestor's schemes and attempting to root out the Temple Tendency in the sector. Secretly part of a conspiracy to destabilize the sector, even though this [[Derp|completely contradicts the rest of his fluff]] and Hestor should have been given this role.
*'''Kregory Hestor:''' Cardinal of the Drusus Marches and head of the Drusian Cult. Currently using the Maccabeus Schism to weasel as much power from Ignato as possible and increase the independence of his arch-diocese.
*'''Pyris Valcarna:''' Cardinal of the Adrantis sub-sector. A major ally of Ignato. Focuses his time on the situation in Tranch and Magos Redole's research.
*'''Quiro Olranna:''' Cardinal of the Josian Reach. A major ally of Hestor in his schemes.
*'''Cal Sutai Arran:''' Cardinal of the Malfian sub-sector and head of the Periphery Church. Known as "the Venerable Cal," is the oldest and most respected member of the Calixian Synod. Worried that the Maccabeus Schism is turning into outright heresy. Rides around in a hoverchair armed with a fucking psycannon.
*'''Fortis:''' Cardinal of the Periphery and the Halo Stars. A major ally of the Venerable Cal. In conflict with Hestor over the control of Port Wander and the Koronus Expanse beyond. One of the few individuals privy to the Margin Crusade's catastrophic failure (read: the fact that the Margin Crusade exists only in propaganda and is actually a front for deploying forces into the Jericho Reach for the Achilus Crusade).
*'''Dantius Landsholt:''' Cardinal of the Hazeroth sub-sector. Grossly incompetent but a loyal supporter of Ignato.
*'''Yvenna:''' Cardinal of the Markayn Marches. In conflict with the Red Redemption. Holds a deep personal hatred for Cardinal Olranna.
*'''Priam:''' Archdeacon Procurator of the Golgenna Reach. Secretly the High Priest of the Temple Tendency in the Calixis Sector.
*'''Archdeacon Ludmilla:''' Leader of the Red Redemption in the Calixis Sector.</div></div>

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====Mechanicus====
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">
*'''Castellar:''' High Fabricator of the Lathes. Named after a font.
*'''Ralwure the Golden:''' Second-in command of the Lathes. Head of a fundamentalist faction of the Calixian Mechanicus.
*'''Halix Redole:''' The sector's foremost Genetor, responsible for several innovative organic devices and substances. Currently studying the Adrantis Civilization, a pre-Imperial human culture native to the sector.</div></div>

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====Rogues and Heretics====
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">
=====Rogue Inquisitors=====
*'''Felroth Gelt:''' A Xanthite Inquisitor on the run from the Calixian Conclave. Keeper of a voluminous journal that serves as a vehicle for much of Dark Heresy's fluff. Originator of that famous "only the insane have strength enough to prosper" quote.
*'''Staven Arcturos:''' A Radical Inquisitor of the Xenos Hybris faction obsessed with the Eldar.
*'''Natius Osrinn:''' A former protege of Inquisitor van Nuygens who became a Xanthite and headed out into the Koronus Expanse.
=====Other Rogue Servants of the Holy Ordos=====
*'''Ferran Ghast:''' A former Interrogator of Inquisitor Cognos who sows apparently random mayhem throughout the sector.
*'''Hettesh Kane:''' A sanctioned psyker formally working under the Ordo Hereticus, now a friend of the Burning Princess.
*'''Seraph:''' A mind-cleansed former member of the Moritat death-cult in the employ of Inquisitor Mesmeron. Was once daemon-possessed, and may be succumbing to Khornate influences.
*'''Cyrrik Scayl:''' A techpriest seconded to the Ordo Hereticus who became a disciple of heretek Nomen Ryne. Currently attempting to transfer a human mind into a machine, which is the direst tech-heresy imaginable.
*'''The Unknown Heretic:''' An individual known only for hunting members of the Calixian Conclave and demonstrating an intimate knowledge of the workings of the Inquisition.
=====Others=====
*'''Myrchella Sinderfell:''' A Scintillan noblewoman and the end result of a Recongregator experiment in genetic engineering gone horribly wrong. Has dabbled in every heresy imaginable, including warpcraft, and travels the sector indulging in continuous acts of wanton depravity.
*'''Magos Vathek:''' A former Disciple of Thule obsessed with making zombies and other freaky shit.
*'''The Burning Princess:''' An alpha rogue psyker and pyromaniac who has escaped several attempts to capture her.
*'''Coriolanus Vestra:''' A missionary turned heretic who was driven insane by the Tyrant Star in the Koronus Expanse.
*'''Tobias Belasco:''' A Malfian noble and another product of the same experiment as Myrchella Sinderfell, with a similar appetite for depravity. Noted for being a cannibal. Active in the smuggling of xenos artifacts and human trafficking. On the run from both the Inquisition and his own family. Appears to be at least partially inspired by Baron Harkonnen.
</div></div>

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====Cults and Recidivists====
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=====Chaos Cults=====
*'''Pilgrims of Hayte:''' A nihilist cult of Chaos Undivided from Malfi that exists mainly to wreck shit. Named after a Brother Cadfael novel. Also cameoed in the Horusian Wars Novels by John French.
*'''Ateanism:''' A philosophy based on Keats' "Ode on a Grecian Urn" that turns its adherents into the pawns of [[Slaanesh]].
*'''Brotherhood of the Horned Darkness:''' Worshipers of the Minor Chaos God Balphomael, who provides power, wealth, and influence to its servants in exchange for their obedience and their souls.
*'''Menagerie:''' What you would get if the Joker formed a cult of [[Tzeentch]]. Dedicated to spreading madness throughout the sector through plays and carnivals. Particularly adept at absorbing other cults and organizations.

=====Other Cults=====
*'''[[Temple Tendency]]:''' The remnants of the former Imperial Cult under Goge Vandire, which plots to overthrow the current Ministorum and reestablish its place as the dominant branch of the Imperial Cult.
*'''Night Cult:''' A splinter faction of a funerary cult centered in Maccabeus Quintus that trucks in reanimation and other forms of necromancy.

=====Other Heretical Organizations=====
*'''Logicians:''' A technocratic organization united through progressive ideology and a desire to return to the Dark Age of Technology. Popular with hereteks for obvious reasons.
*'''Pale Throng:''' A militant mutant supremacy organization that spread throughout the Calixis Sector in the aftermath of the Tranch War.

=====Recidivist Organizations=====
*'''Kasballica:''' The Space Mafia. Yeah, that pretty much covers it.
*'''Serrated Query:''' An atheist, xenophile, Warp-using cartel. Extremely resourceful due to their freethinking mindset, willingness to experiment, and devotion to profit above all others. Speculated to be an Istvaanite project that got out of control.
*'''Amaranthine Syndicate:''' A seemingly legitimate trading organization that, in addition to its smuggling operations, is actually the pawn of a xenos species known as the [[Slaugth]], who are planning to use it to plunge the sector into civil war so they can feast on the corpses.
*'''Beast House:''' A group of hunters and smugglers who traffic in xenos creatures, mainly for gladiatorial arenas and other blood sports.</div></div>

==Supplemental Books==
Dark Heresy used to pump out new splats all the time, but with the release of its second edition there's presumably no more that will be coming. Here's a list of of what there is.

*'''Game Master's Kit''' - A GM screen with art on one side, and some handy notes on the other. Comes with a pre-written adventure and new rules for using poisons and toxins.

*'''Purge the Unclean''' - Typical adventure splatbook, comes with three pre-written adventures that can run one into the other, or not. Gives insight in the shadowy nature of the Calixis sector.

*'''The Inquisitor's Handbook''' - Almost essential once your campaign is underway. Provides a little bit of everything for everything, but the best part is getting character creation details for [[Sisters of Battle|nuns with fucking guns]].

*'''Disciples of the Dark Gods''' - Splatbook that provides details on the various evil cults and rivalries within the Calixis sector, and includes a pre-written adventure revolving around said cults and rivalries. Also includes unique xenos species and adversaries, and expands on the Slaugth, previously introduced in the '''Game Masters Kit.'''

*'''Creatures Anathema''' - Basic beast splatbook, but has good art and gives some options for xenos gear.

*'''The Haarlock Legacy:''' ''Tattered Fates/Damned Cities/Dead Stars'' - A pre-written adventure spanning three books, it's fucking huge. Pretty interesting story, and surrounds FFG's take on the Harlock character from the anime ''Space Pirate Captain Harlock'', aptly named Erasmus Haarlock. The three books are available together as a trilogy, but for whatever reason when you try to buy it looking through Dark Heresy's product page, it's unavailable. To buy it, just look for it through the Shop section of the FFG site. Also provides plot hooks for advancing the Calixis Sector setting, which will never be developed by FFG.

*'''The Radical's Handbook''' - Splatbook that gives instruction on how to tread the thin line of the Inquisition and [[Blam|how not to]]. Adds in new alternate career paths, new heretical and xenos gear, and lots and lots of [[Heresy|HERESY]]. Not to be confused with ''The Radical Handbook'', about how to be cool in the '90s.

*'''Ascension''' - [[Skub|Super useful]] supplement for taking your campaign to the next level. Adds in "ascended" ranks, or ranks 9-16. Acolytes leave behind their acolyte-ness and become Throne Agents, those actually trusted by the Inquisition. The new career ranks range from your murderhobo assassin actually becoming a Vindicare, or going straight to be ''the'' Inquisitor. Gives you skill and talent masteries, as well as making psychic powers even more prevalent (Time to rend the veil with [[Rape|''Unnatural Willpower'']]). Also adds in the influence talents, to represent the power your characters now hold. [[Troll|If you get only one DH supplement, get this one.]] Common consensus is that this splatbook is poorly balanced, breaks aspects of higher-level gameplay while remaining incompatible with higher-powered FFG games and can utterly destroy even the most creative GM's lovingly crafted campaigns.

*'''Blood of Martyrs''' - Rules on how to be even more pious and fanatical as you play as Adeptus Ministorum, or [[Ecclesiarchy]], characters, and it redoes SoBs into their more Battle Sister counterparts. Gives you new alt. career ranks, backgrounds, and gear to help you purge the heretic.

*'''The Apostasy Gambit:''' ''The Black Sepulchre''/''The Church of the Damned''/''The Chaos Commandment'' - Another fucking huge pre-written adventure spread across three splatbooks. Each book can be played together or separately, but it's pretty interesting to play them together. Somewhat controversial for advancing the official setting in grimdark/grimderp ways. The events are actually referenced in Only War, but only briefly.

*'''Daemon Hunter''' - Gives you what it says, rules to play Ordo Malleus characters dedicated to killing daemons. Gives you all the background fluff and gear you'll need to play. The biggest pull of this book is that it finally adds in rules for including and playing [[Grey Knights]] in your campaign. (Be warned, if not carefully monitored, even one PC grey knight will fuck over your campaign and become the sole [[Mary Sue]] badass. (''Starting stats are 2d10 + 30<strike>? Really?</strike>, on par with Deathwatch marines' starting stats. With Ascension's Heroic and Mastery characteristic upgrades, a Grey Knight can top out at 80 in a stat just through character creation and buying characteristic advances''.) Since this was printed after [[Deathwatch]] was released, it gives guidelines on playing as Grey Knights in a Deathwatch campaign and vice-versa.

*'''Book of Judgement''' - Neato splatbook that contains rules on how to basically play a Judge Dredd-esque campaign or story. It has new alternate career ranks, backgrounds, and careers for characters on the good or bad side of Imperial law. Comes with a pre-written adventure, Jurisdiction.

*'''The Lathe Worlds''' - Likely the last splatbook for Dark Heresy 1e, it focuses on the tech worlds of the titular Lathe Worlds. The new rules, backgrounds, career ranks, and gear this book brings definitely is more focused on tech-priest characters, but not completely. '''''Skitarii is OP''''' and the book in general breaks the Techpriest class by making it capable of performing the functions of all the other classes. Has a pre-written adventure within as well. Probably the last Dark Heresy supplement, since <strike>Only War - Inquisitorial Paint Job Edition</strike> Dark Heresy 2nd edition has been released.

==Software==
*[[Servitor_Bot|An IRC bot with DH functions coded by /tg/ anonymous.]]

==Links==
*[[Maid RPG]], a game comparable and [[What|compatible]] with Dark Heresy.
*[https://community.fantasyflightgames.com/forum/77-dark-heresy/ Official Forums from FFG]
*[[Lexicanum|Lexicanum]] - Everything you always wanted to know about 40k (but were afraid to ask)
*[http://darkheresy.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Heresypedia] - Another fansite for ''Dark Heresy''.
*A [http://goo.gl/1Jd2CI character folio] (Not the one from Black Industries) for all you heretics.
*[[The Guy Who Cried Grendel]] - A classic /tg/ storytime
*[[All Guardsmen Party|The All Guardsmen Party]] - Another storytime
*[http://www.cold-moon.com/40k/40kRP/DHCampaign/CharacterSheets.htm The character sheets, available for printout. You know, because copying breaks the rulebook's poor little spine.]
*[https://www.mediafire.com/?laj4tr275fl2s09 WH40k RPG map assets], for making your own sectors.
*[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm9WFeqTgvRvyRoGD8jVFVA? Music of 40k], a YouTube channel with curated grimdark music for your gaming pleasure.
*[http://www.scholaprogenium.com/ Schola Progenium], the best Timeline you'll ever find as well as date & timing instructions.
*[http://old.malleus.dk/Ordo/NpcGenerator/Default.aspx Malleus.dk], one click chargen.

==Crit Tables (fucking psychotic)==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=0
|- valign=middle align=center
!Method / Location!! Leg!! Head!! Body!! Arm
|- valign=middle align=center
! Rending
|[[Image:DH CH rending leg.JPG|thumb]]
|[[Image:DH CH rending head.JPG|thumb]]
|[[Image:DH CH rending body.JPG|thumb]]
|[[Image:DH CH rending arm.JPG|thumb]]
|- valign=middle align=center
! Impact
|[[Image:DH CH impact leg.JPG|thumb]]
|[[Image:DH CH impact head.JPG|thumb]]
|[[Image:DH CH impact body.JPG|thumb]]
|[[Image:DH CH impact arm.JPG|thumb]]
|- valign=middle align=center
! Explosive
|[[Image:DH CH explosive leg.JPG|thumb]]
|[[Image:DH CH explosive head.JPG|thumb]]
|[[Image:DH CH explosive body.JPG|thumb]]
|[[Image:DH CH explosive arm.JPG|thumb]]
|- valign=middle align=center
! Energy
|[[Image:DH CH energy leg.JPG|thumb]]
|[[Image:DH CH energy head.JPG|thumb]]
|[[Image:DH CH energy body.JPG|thumb]]
|[[Image:DH CH energy arm.JPG|thumb]]
|}

== Gallery ==
<gallery>
DarkHeresyCore.jpg|Actual Cover
Tgdhcover.jpg|Alternate DH cover
DH flow.jpg|Accurate depiction of a ''Dark Heresy'' game.
</gallery>

{{Template:40k-FFG}}

Dieprian Mountain Men

2022-08-22T14:20:10Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:7CC4:6403:F477:2B18: /* Notable Dieprian Mountain Men */

[[image:DieprianMountainMen_Art.png|200px|thumb|right|Jetpacks, Whats That?]]
Dieper III is a Extremely mountainous world (like, a whole lot of mountains) and thats why the imperial guard needed soldiers that know no fear of extreme heights and also have balls of steel, enter the Dieprian Mountain Men.

Little is known about this regiment in imperial records other than the Emperor himself named the regiment after he set foot on the planet sometime before the Great Crusade, the Dieprians are specialized in alpine and mountain warfare they are commited to safeguard their home planet forever, not taking part in any major conflicts (although, they maybe some little exceptions), their fighting style is based in high altitude ambushes using Valkyries (a lot of valkyries) at extreme heights.

==History==
The Dieprian Mountain Men were first mentioned in the 3rd Edition Imperial Guard 1st Codex (page 28) and ever since then they haven't been mentioned again.

===Fall of Dieper III===
Unfortunately for Imperium fans and fortunately for Tau fans, Dieper III was conquered by the Tau led by Commander [[Shadowsun]], Dieper III (now renamed to il'Wolaho) is now under Tau Control, and the Dieprian Mountain Men as a regiment, Probably no longer exists, though any regiments exported form the world may still exist Tanith First style.

==Notable Dieprian Mountain Men==
*'''Lorenzo Cavalieri''' - Captain Lorenzo Cavalieri was a Dieprian company commander who lead his troops in various conflicts against an unnamed warband of Chaos Space Marines in the world of Laidia.
*'''Iuseppe Carrafiello''' - Iuseppe Carrafiello was a Dieprian Sniper who was able to headshot a Chaos Lord while he was slaughtering a dozen of imperial Guard privates (for some reason).
*'''Emmett Falkens''' - Colonel and leader of the Mountain Men that fought agaist the Tau when Dieper III was invaded, until he was killed in combat by Shadowsun.

No mention of Alberto Bertorelli? Wadda mistake-a da make-a!

==Inspiration==
The Dieprian Mountain Men seems to have been based on the historical Alpini Corps of the Italian Army founded in 1876 and later participated in the First and Second World War, who achieved the honour of outfighting the Russian Red Army in winter.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:DpieranMountainTrooper sketch.jpg
File:Dieprianmountainmen minature.jpg
</gallery>
{{Template:40k-Imperial-Regiments}}

Gnoblar

2022-08-22T08:52:23Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:7CC4:6403:F477:2B18: /* Age of Sigmar */

[[File:Gnoblars.png|There's nose escape!|thumb|right|500px]]
A subtype of [[Orcs & Goblins|Goblins]] in [[Warhammer Fantasy]], known for their big floppy ears, beak like noses, and being the personal bitches of the Ogres.
Note that they have their own army, [[Gnoblar Horde: The Unwashed Masses]].
==Lore==
===Fantasy===
Gnoblars are small greenskins that evolved to their current state when Ogres moved from the mountains of the Giants to the Mountains of Mourn and kept them as pets/rations.

Gnoblars have the place of being the singularly most mistreated beings in either Warhammer setting, as Ogres see them somewhere between vermin-like insects that are simply a fact of life to deal with, or very low and undepletable slaves. Sometimes as food if there's nothing better around (they’re noted as tasting very stringy and overall unpleasant to eat), although some Gnoblars wind up in the position of "favorite hunting dog" as long as the Ogre can remember them. On rarer occasions, the Ogres will adore gnoblars almost as pets or playthings, resulting in the little buggers creating their own microcosms within the Ogre tribe.

Gnoblars see Ogres as a mix of living gods and eternal masters. They differ from Goblins in that they are much smaller and dumber, and while Goblins have pronounced noses the face of a Gnoblar is mostly nose giving them a beaky appearance. The resemblance to a Jim Henson Muppet character may not be a simple coincidence, as the concept artist for Ogre Kingdoms, Paul Jeacock, had previously worked for Jim Henson's Creature Studio London as a sketch artist (White Dwarf #301). Make of that what you will.

Gnoblars are just as cruel as Goblins, torturing and killing anything smaller or weaker than themselves, fighting with intent to kill over stupid reasons, and laughing at the misfortune of other Gnoblar. This last trait is even more extreme than Goblins, as Gnoblar don't panic or feel fear when other Gnoblar suffer; a Gnoblar right next to them being eaten by a dragon is far more amusing than frightening, and a horde of Gnoblar fleeing past from an unknown assailant is cause for mockery instead of concern.

Gnoblars are hoarders, obsessively collecting anything they can pick up although those in service to Ogres find their good stuff taken away. As a result, most independant are found carrying inexhaustible amounts of "Sharp Things" to throw and cause modest damage, and can even be found carrying magical gear befitting a Dwarf Thane or a High Elf Archmage rather than a small goblinoid.
A possibly related feature of Gnoblars is their ludicrous extremes of luck. A Gnoblar could easily trip and fall and break their neck as they could best a Chaos Champion (also probably by tripping), find and eat a poison mushroom as find a magical world-saving/destroying artifact, find a tasty snake to skin alive and eat raw as find a dragon's tail that they attempt to do the same to before realizing it isn't a snake.

Gnoblars who are favored by an Ogre have one of their ears bitten off (each bite mark being uniquely shaped as no two Ogres have the same teeth pattern), and assume the rank among Gnoblars that their master has among Ogres. They are extremely hierarchical, and come in the following ranks:
* '''Lords:''' Equivalent to a Tyrant. Supreme masters of the Gnoblars. Paranoid as hell, immediately order Woodbellies to kill any Gnoblar they see as a threat.
* '''Tooth-Gnoblars:''' Servants to Butchers and Slaughtermasters, the priesthood of Ogres. Although high-ranking, they suffer among the most of any Gnoblar as they are tasked with gathering chunks of meat, and often end up so covered in blood they are indistinguishable as anything more than jiggling fat to their masters.
* '''Trappers:''' Servants to the Ogres who gather food for their race. They lay a myriad of traps all around the outskirts of the Ogre camp and leave them there until the shrill sounds of something caught in a trap alerts them. Well-respected, although often used as bait.
* '''Manbiters:''' Gnoblars who serve Maneaters, and travel the world with their master. They recount the tales of their master to other Gnoblars which sometimes reaches the ears of other Ogres. Gnoblar Manbiters aren't above serving other races as mercenaries independent of their Ogre either, and are the most common greenskin to be found working alongside non-greenskins (although its worth noting Gnoblars are fairly more bungling and annoying to any civilized race than useful).
* '''Torch Gnoblars:''' Leadbelcher servants. Used to light cannons for their masters, and have suffered from burns, soot-blackened skin, and blindness as a result. Trying to paint your models like these may be...[[SJW|awkward]] in some company...
* '''Woodbellies:''' Irongut Gnoblars. Serve as the enforcers for the Gnoblar Lord in the same way their masters are enforcers for the Tyrant. Are somewhat independent as far as Gnoblars go.
* '''Bullies:''' Ogre Bull servants. Their rank in Gnoblar society is purely based on their size alone, and they act like their masters do other Ogres towards any Gnoblar smaller than themselves.
* '''Fighters:''' The most basic Gnoblars who have any sort of respect from any sort of Ogre. Since they're unwilling to do grunt work as they can claim they're better than that, they mostly just wait for fights in which they will join on behalf of the Ogres.
* '''Scum:''' The dumbest, weakest, smallest Gnoblar. Also any Gnoblar of superior quality who hasn't had an Ogre dote on them. Scum do not participate in battles and just do the work of the Ogres from gathering simple food like insects, leftovers on the ground or stuck in fat folds/clothing for other meals, and other assorted basic tasks. They're fairly useless at anything complex, and as a result rarely do anything important enough for an Ogre to take notice and bite their ear because otherwise they wouldn't be Scum still.

Note that more variants exist, but only among the independant Gnoblar.

===[[40k]]===
Gnoblar don't properly exist in 40k, although it can be fairly said that [[Gretchin]], the 40k equivalent of Goblins, are much more like Gnoblar than they actually are Goblins and serve [[Orks]] in the same way that Gnoblar serve Ogres.

===[[Age of Sigmar]]===
Gnoblars somehow survived the destruction of the old setting alongside their masters, although how isn't clear how as they had no representation with [[Gork]] or [[Mork]] (or possibly rather [[Gorkamorka (Deity)|Gorkamorka]]).

They originally came from Chamon, the junk-filled region of Skrappa-Spill to be precise. They enjoyed sifting through the rubble and refuse for anything shiny or sharp (or both) to throw at each other, and trapping/torturing anything that wandered into their turf. Unfortunately, being literally the smallest sentient creature in existence, they were bullied and trod upon by their much bigger and meaner cousins (Orruks in particular liked to pull off their ears, like a kid plucking the wings off a fly). Thus they made a deal with the even larger [[Ogor Mawtribes]]; gnoblars would serve the Ogors as a worker caste in exchange for their protection from Orruks and Grots. The Ogors agreed to the terms, partly because Gnoblars didn’t taste too good to begin with.

Their role in the Mawtribes is almost roughly the same as Fantasy Battle, though it does seem to be slightly better treated than their predecessors, though this could be down to word choice or AoS in general being more noblebright. The fact that they negotiated their current arrangement with the Ogors instead of true enslavement probably also had a hand in their better situation. They’ve also put more emphasis on their obsession with collecting junk and building things from said junk. These Gnoblars are also smart enough to reverse engineer Duardin gunpowder for their Ogor masters to use.

==On The Tabletop==
Gnoblar Fighters are the basic form of Gnoblar. They're simple [[Tarpit]] models that fulfill the roles of flank protection, flank chargers, or basic tarpit. They cost a mere 2.5 points per model, making them the second cheapest in the game (and the only one to use a decimal for point cost). They also cause absolutely no Panic tests for being broken, making them the ideal throwaway Unit.

Even better, for 25 points a Unit can be upgraded to Trappers which cause Dangerous Terrain tests to enemies that charge them which is a splendid defense against horde formation enemies.

Their role is roughly the same in AoS, though now they can be buffed by a Tyrant making them immune to Battleshock, which when combined with their larger unit sizes makes for a pretty good wall of bodies.

While not an absolute must, Ogre players still love the little Gnoblars in most lists.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Gnoblar Fighters.png|Games Workshop model Gnoblars.
</gallery>

[[Category:Ogre Kingdoms]] [[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]] [[Category:Age of Sigmar]]