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Cuisine

2022-08-03T22:33:18Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Loxodon */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bugbear===
Tastes like a mixture of Ogre Neat and Hobgoblin meat, but should still be cooked well done as although they aren't as dirty as their Goblin relatives, they still aren't quite as clean as Hobgoblins. They're also a bitch to shave all the hair off of before cooking.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Gnoll (Hyena Men)===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burningbl expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal.

===Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)===
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes tastes like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Hobgoblin===
Hobgoblin meat is much less dangerous than Goblin meat, as Hobgoblins actually clean themselves, worry about their health and so medicate, and cook their food. Otherwise, it is similar to Goblin meat. You would think this would make the consumption of Hobgoblin meat more widespread, but civilized folk tend to look down on the consumption of Hobgoblin meat even more than that of Goblin meat because they see Hobgoblins with their civilization, evil as it is, as making them more "people" than Goblins are with their primitive, dirty lifestyles.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kobold(Tiny Draconic Lizardmen)===
These guys taste a bit like Dragon, but ironically a lot better in flavor and cookability. They're compared to tasting like spicy fried lizard when cooked, with lizard tasting like chicken.

===Kobold(Tiny Dog Men)===
These beings, who share the name of Kobolds and often inhabit similar cave invironments, are said to taste like the dogs they resembe, which is similar to beef. In times past, some Oriental Cultures ruled by Evil-aligned Leaders, the Dog Kobolds were kept in massive death camps and forcibly bred, for every year the leader would attempt to numb the suffering of the common populace race against rebellion by having a Kobold Festival, where hundreds, perhaps thousands of kobolds are kept in cages before being publicly executed by being butchered and deep fried in oil. This practice has been stopped in recent years due to mass Dog Kobold escapes leading to rebellions and riots, outside pressure by boycott sanctions by Kingdoms who are against the consumption of sapients, and societal revolutions.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Loxodon===
As beings that resemble a humanoid elephant, Loxodon meat is stated to taste mostly the same as actual elephants, pretty unpleasant, with a bit of the watery porklike flavor of Humans as an undertone. They still often guard their dead at the Loxodon Graveyards to make sure poachers and cannibalistic sapients don't defile these holy places for their meat, as despite not tasting that good, corrupt colonial nobles with more money than sense often serve Loxodon meat at parties while telling tall tales of their safari for the meat, often telling lurid tales of slaughtering whole Loxodon villages when in reality they paid off a poacher/grave robber to either sneak into the nearest Loxodon Graveyard and find a way to steal a recent corpse or murder a lone traveling Loxodon.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sahuagin===
The meat of a Sahuagin has a sort of flavor that mixes together the flavors of Shark with Alligator, with a sort of spicy undertone. It is often prepared Cajun-style by the City Guard of Seaside Land-Dweller cities after failed Sahuagin raids, served with loads of marinara sauce with grilled corn cobs, buttered and boiled chuul, peppers, lemon-soaked-and-grilled shrimp and spices mixed up in a huge serving tray.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T22:30:01Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Kuo-Toa */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bugbear===
Tastes like a mixture of Ogre Neat and Hobgoblin meat, but should still be cooked well done as although they aren't as dirty as their Goblin relatives, they still aren't quite as clean as Hobgoblins. They're also a bitch to shave all the hair off of before cooking.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Gnoll (Hyena Men)===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burningbl expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal.

===Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)===
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes tastes like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Hobgoblin===
Hobgoblin meat is much less dangerous than Goblin meat, as Hobgoblins actually clean themselves, worry about their health and so medicate, and cook their food. Otherwise, it is similar to Goblin meat. You would think this would make the consumption of Hobgoblin meat more widespread, but civilized folk tend to look down on the consumption of Hobgoblin meat even more than that of Goblin meat because they see Hobgoblins with their civilization, evil as it is, as making them more "people" than Goblins are with their primitive, dirty lifestyles.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kobold(Tiny Draconic Lizardmen)===
These guys taste a bit like Dragon, but ironically a lot better in flavor and cookability. They're compared to tasting like spicy fried lizard when cooked, with lizard tasting like chicken.

===Kobold(Tiny Dog Men)===
These beings, who share the name of Kobolds and often inhabit similar cave invironments, are said to taste like the dogs they resembe, which is similar to beef. In times past, some Oriental Cultures ruled by Evil-aligned Leaders, the Dog Kobolds were kept in massive death camps and forcibly bred, for every year the leader would attempt to numb the suffering of the common populace race against rebellion by having a Kobold Festival, where hundreds, perhaps thousands of kobolds are kept in cages before being publicly executed by being butchered and deep fried in oil. This practice has been stopped in recent years due to mass Dog Kobold escapes leading to rebellions and riots, outside pressure by boycott sanctions by Kingdoms who are against the consumption of sapients, and societal revolutions.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Loxodon===
As beings that resemble a humanoid elephant, Loxodon meat is stated to taste mostly the same as actual elephants, with a bit of the porklike flavor of Humans as an undertone. They often guard their dead at the Loxodon Graveyards to make sure poachers and cannibalistic sapients don't defile these holy places for the

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sahuagin===
The meat of a Sahuagin has a sort of flavor that mixes together the flavors of Shark with Alligator, with a sort of spicy undertone. It is often prepared Cajun-style by the City Guard of Seaside Land-Dweller cities after failed Sahuagin raids, served with loads of marinara sauce with grilled corn cobs, buttered and boiled chuul, peppers, lemon-soaked-and-grilled shrimp and spices mixed up in a huge serving tray.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T22:26:19Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Mindflayers */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bugbear===
Tastes like a mixture of Ogre Neat and Hobgoblin meat, but should still be cooked well done as although they aren't as dirty as their Goblin relatives, they still aren't quite as clean as Hobgoblins. They're also a bitch to shave all the hair off of before cooking.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Gnoll (Hyena Men)===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burningbl expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal.

===Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)===
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes tastes like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Hobgoblin===
Hobgoblin meat is much less dangerous than Goblin meat, as Hobgoblins actually clean themselves, worry about their health and so medicate, and cook their food. Otherwise, it is similar to Goblin meat. You would think this would make the consumption of Hobgoblin meat more widespread, but civilized folk tend to look down on the consumption of Hobgoblin meat even more than that of Goblin meat because they see Hobgoblins with their civilization, evil as it is, as making them more "people" than Goblins are with their primitive, dirty lifestyles.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kobold(Tiny Draconic Lizardmen)===
These guys taste a bit like Dragon, but ironically a lot better in flavor and cookability. They're compared to tasting like spicy fried lizard when cooked, with lizard tasting like chicken.

===Kobold(Tiny Dog Men)===
These beings, who share the name of Kobolds and often inhabit similar cave invironments, are said to taste like the dogs they resembe, which is similar to beef. In times past, some Oriental Cultures ruled by Evil-aligned Leaders, the Dog Kobolds were kept in massive death camps and forcibly bred, for every year the leader would attempt to numb the suffering of the common populace race against rebellion by having a Kobold Festival, where hundreds, perhaps thousands of kobolds are kept in cages before being publicly executed by being butchered and deep fried in oil. This practice has been stopped in recent years due to mass Dog Kobold escapes leading to rebellions and riots, outside pressure by boycott sanctions by Kingdoms who are against the consumption of sapients, and societal revolutions.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sahuagin===
The meat of a Sahuagin has a sort of flavor that mixes together the flavors of Shark with Alligator, with a sort of spicy undertone. It is often prepared Cajun-style by the City Guard of Seaside Land-Dweller cities after failed Sahuagin raids, served with loads of marinara sauce with grilled corn cobs, buttered and boiled chuul, peppers, lemon-soaked-and-grilled shrimp and spices mixed up in a huge serving tray.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T22:25:56Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Minotaurs */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Mindflayers===
Mindflayers must consume brains in order to survive. As such, they know the most ways to prepare brains, what goes well with brains as sides and drinks, and how to spot signs that a brain is diseased before consumption. This isn't much use for non-Mindflayers, as consuming brains for non-Mindflayers is a good way to die a slow, painful death from Kuru.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bugbear===
Tastes like a mixture of Ogre Neat and Hobgoblin meat, but should still be cooked well done as although they aren't as dirty as their Goblin relatives, they still aren't quite as clean as Hobgoblins. They're also a bitch to shave all the hair off of before cooking.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Gnoll (Hyena Men)===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burningbl expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal.

===Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)===
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes tastes like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Hobgoblin===
Hobgoblin meat is much less dangerous than Goblin meat, as Hobgoblins actually clean themselves, worry about their health and so medicate, and cook their food. Otherwise, it is similar to Goblin meat. You would think this would make the consumption of Hobgoblin meat more widespread, but civilized folk tend to look down on the consumption of Hobgoblin meat even more than that of Goblin meat because they see Hobgoblins with their civilization, evil as it is, as making them more "people" than Goblins are with their primitive, dirty lifestyles.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kobold(Tiny Draconic Lizardmen)===
These guys taste a bit like Dragon, but ironically a lot better in flavor and cookability. They're compared to tasting like spicy fried lizard when cooked, with lizard tasting like chicken.

===Kobold(Tiny Dog Men)===
These beings, who share the name of Kobolds and often inhabit similar cave invironments, are said to taste like the dogs they resembe, which is similar to beef. In times past, some Oriental Cultures ruled by Evil-aligned Leaders, the Dog Kobolds were kept in massive death camps and forcibly bred, for every year the leader would attempt to numb the suffering of the common populace race against rebellion by having a Kobold Festival, where hundreds, perhaps thousands of kobolds are kept in cages before being publicly executed by being butchered and deep fried in oil. This practice has been stopped in recent years due to mass Dog Kobold escapes leading to rebellions and riots, outside pressure by boycott sanctions by Kingdoms who are against the consumption of sapients, and societal revolutions.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sahuagin===
The meat of a Sahuagin has a sort of flavor that mixes together the flavors of Shark with Alligator, with a sort of spicy undertone. It is often prepared Cajun-style by the City Guard of Seaside Land-Dweller cities after failed Sahuagin raids, served with loads of marinara sauce with grilled corn cobs, buttered and boiled chuul, peppers, lemon-soaked-and-grilled shrimp and spices mixed up in a huge serving tray.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T22:22:31Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: Bugbear

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bugbear===
Tastes like a mixture of Ogre Neat and Hobgoblin meat, but should still be cooked well done as although they aren't as dirty as their Goblin relatives, they still aren't quite as clean as Hobgoblins. They're also a bitch to shave all the hair off of before cooking.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Gnoll (Hyena Men)===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burningbl expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal.

===Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)===
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes tastes like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Hobgoblin===
Hobgoblin meat is much less dangerous than Goblin meat, as Hobgoblins actually clean themselves, worry about their health and so medicate, and cook their food. Otherwise, it is similar to Goblin meat. You would think this would make the consumption of Hobgoblin meat more widespread, but civilized folk tend to look down on the consumption of Hobgoblin meat even more than that of Goblin meat because they see Hobgoblins with their civilization, evil as it is, as making them more "people" than Goblins are with their primitive, dirty lifestyles.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kobold(Tiny Draconic Lizardmen)===
These guys taste a bit like Dragon, but ironically a lot better in flavor and cookability. They're compared to tasting like spicy fried lizard when cooked, with lizard tasting like chicken.

===Kobold(Tiny Dog Men)===
These beings, who share the name of Kobolds and often inhabit similar cave invironments, are said to taste like the dogs they resembe, which is similar to beef. In times past, some Oriental Cultures ruled by Evil-aligned Leaders, the Dog Kobolds were kept in massive death camps and forcibly bred, for every year the leader would attempt to numb the suffering of the common populace race against rebellion by having a Kobold Festival, where hundreds, perhaps thousands of kobolds are kept in cages before being publicly executed by being butchered and deep fried in oil. This practice has been stopped in recent years due to mass Dog Kobold escapes leading to rebellions and riots, outside pressure by boycott sanctions by Kingdoms who are against the consumption of sapients, and societal revolutions.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sahuagin===
The meat of a Sahuagin has a sort of flavor that mixes together the flavors of Shark with Alligator, with a sort of spicy undertone. It is often prepared Cajun-style by the City Guard of Seaside Land-Dweller cities after failed Sahuagin raids, served with loads of marinara sauce with grilled corn cobs, buttered and boiled chuul, peppers, lemon-soaked-and-grilled shrimp and spices mixed up in a huge serving tray.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T22:21:05Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: Hobgoblin

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Gnoll (Hyena Men)===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burningbl expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal.

===Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)===
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes tastes like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Hobgoblin===
Hobgoblin meat is much less dangerous than Goblin meat, as Hobgoblins actually clean themselves, worry about their health and so medicate, and cook their food. Otherwise, it is similar to Goblin meat. You would think this would make the consumption of Hobgoblin meat more widespread, but civilized folk tend to look down on the consumption of Hobgoblin meat even more than that of Goblin meat because they see Hobgoblins with their civilization, evil as it is, as making them more "people" than Goblins are with their primitive, dirty lifestyles.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kobold(Tiny Draconic Lizardmen)===
These guys taste a bit like Dragon, but ironically a lot better in flavor and cookability. They're compared to tasting like spicy fried lizard when cooked, with lizard tasting like chicken.

===Kobold(Tiny Dog Men)===
These beings, who share the name of Kobolds and often inhabit similar cave invironments, are said to taste like the dogs they resembe, which is similar to beef. In times past, some Oriental Cultures ruled by Evil-aligned Leaders, the Dog Kobolds were kept in massive death camps and forcibly bred, for every year the leader would attempt to numb the suffering of the common populace race against rebellion by having a Kobold Festival, where hundreds, perhaps thousands of kobolds are kept in cages before being publicly executed by being butchered and deep fried in oil. This practice has been stopped in recent years due to mass Dog Kobold escapes leading to rebellions and riots, outside pressure by boycott sanctions by Kingdoms who are against the consumption of sapients, and societal revolutions.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sahuagin===
The meat of a Sahuagin has a sort of flavor that mixes together the flavors of Shark with Alligator, with a sort of spicy undertone. It is often prepared Cajun-style by the City Guard of Seaside Land-Dweller cities after failed Sahuagin raids, served with loads of marinara sauce with grilled corn cobs, buttered and boiled chuul, peppers, lemon-soaked-and-grilled shrimp and spices mixed up in a huge serving tray.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T22:18:05Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Kobold(Tiny Dog Men) */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Gnoll (Hyena Men)===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burningbl expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal.

===Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)===
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes tastes like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kobold(Tiny Draconic Lizardmen)===
These guys taste a bit like Dragon, but ironically a lot better in flavor and cookability. They're compared to tasting like spicy fried lizard when cooked, with lizard tasting like chicken.

===Kobold(Tiny Dog Men)===
These beings, who share the name of Kobolds and often inhabit similar cave invironments, are said to taste like the dogs they resembe, which is similar to beef. In times past, some Oriental Cultures ruled by Evil-aligned Leaders, the Dog Kobolds were kept in massive death camps and forcibly bred, for every year the leader would attempt to numb the suffering of the common populace race against rebellion by having a Kobold Festival, where hundreds, perhaps thousands of kobolds are kept in cages before being publicly executed by being butchered and deep fried in oil. This practice has been stopped in recent years due to mass Dog Kobold escapes leading to rebellions and riots, outside pressure by boycott sanctions by Kingdoms who are against the consumption of sapients, and societal revolutions.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sahuagin===
The meat of a Sahuagin has a sort of flavor that mixes together the flavors of Shark with Alligator, with a sort of spicy undertone. It is often prepared Cajun-style by the City Guard of Seaside Land-Dweller cities after failed Sahuagin raids, served with loads of marinara sauce with grilled corn cobs, buttered and boiled chuul, peppers, lemon-soaked-and-grilled shrimp and spices mixed up in a huge serving tray.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T22:12:14Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Kobold(Tiny Draconic Lizardmen) */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Gnoll (Hyena Men)===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burningbl expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal.

===Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)===
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes tastes like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kobold(Tiny Draconic Lizardmen)===
These guys taste a bit like Dragon, but ironically a lot better in flavor and cookability. They're compared to tasting like spicy fried lizard when cooked, with lizard tasting like chicken.

===Kobold(Tiny Dog Men)===
These beings, who share the name of Kobolds and often inhabit similar cave invironments, are said to taste like the dogs they resemble. They are

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sahuagin===
The meat of a Sahuagin has a sort of flavor that mixes together the flavors of Shark with Alligator, with a sort of spicy undertone. It is often prepared Cajun-style by the City Guard of Seaside Land-Dweller cities after failed Sahuagin raids, served with loads of marinara sauce with grilled corn cobs, buttered and boiled chuul, peppers, lemon-soaked-and-grilled shrimp and spices mixed up in a huge serving tray.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T22:10:25Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Hydra */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Gnoll (Hyena Men)===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burningbl expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal.

===Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)===
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes tastes like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kobold(Tiny Draconic Lizardmen)===
These guys taste a bit like Dragon, but ironically a lot better in flavor and cookability. They're compared to tasting like spicy fried lizard when cooked, with lizard tasting like chicken.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sahuagin===
The meat of a Sahuagin has a sort of flavor that mixes together the flavors of Shark with Alligator, with a sort of spicy undertone. It is often prepared Cajun-style by the City Guard of Seaside Land-Dweller cities after failed Sahuagin raids, served with loads of marinara sauce with grilled corn cobs, buttered and boiled chuul, peppers, lemon-soaked-and-grilled shrimp and spices mixed up in a huge serving tray.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T22:06:25Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Sahuagin */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Gnoll (Hyena Men)===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burningbl expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal.

===Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)===
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes tastes like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sahuagin===
The meat of a Sahuagin has a sort of flavor that mixes together the flavors of Shark with Alligator, with a sort of spicy undertone. It is often prepared Cajun-style by the City Guard of Seaside Land-Dweller cities after failed Sahuagin raids, served with loads of marinara sauce with grilled corn cobs, buttered and boiled chuul, peppers, lemon-soaked-and-grilled shrimp and spices mixed up in a huge serving tray.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T22:05:45Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Ropers */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Gnoll (Hyena Men)===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burningbl expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal.

===Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)===
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes tastes like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sahuagin===
The meat of a Sahuagin has a sort of flavor that mixes together the flavors of Shark with Alligator, with a sort of spicy undertone. It is often prepared Cajun-style by the City Guard of Seaside Land-Dweller cities after failed Sahuagin raids, served with loads of marinara sauce with grilled corn cobs, buttered and boiled chuul, peppers, and spices mixed up in a huge serving tray.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T22:00:17Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Gnoll */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Gnoll (Hyena Men)===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burningbl expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal.

===Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)===
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes tastes like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T21:58:49Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Gnoll */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Gnoll===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burningbl expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls. On a related note, the flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes tastes like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T21:57:39Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Gnoll */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Gnoll===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burningbl expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls. On a related note, the flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes tastes like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T21:54:03Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: Gnolls

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Gnoll===
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burningbl expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls. On a related note, the flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins,

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T21:49:19Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Flumph */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Giant===
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as theybare fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the porklike Orc meat.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T21:41:34Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Ogre */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T21:38:58Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Manticore */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Ogre===
All of the few good things about Orc meat, but 5,000 times better. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T21:35:53Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Dekanter Goblins */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T21:35:29Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Dekanter Goblins */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T21:34:54Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Dekanter Goblins */

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T21:33:50Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: Dekanter Goblin

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dekanter Goblins===
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin flesh exhibits, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, expensive meat!

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T21:26:41Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: Kuo-Toa

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Kuo-Toa===
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swines out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa have the ability to bring their own imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level Aberattion taking form from their shared living nightmares.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Cuisine

2022-08-03T21:20:13Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: Troll Meat

'''Preface Placeholder'''

For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]]

== Racial Cuisine ==

===Beholders===
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.

===Changelings===
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussles, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.

===Dragons===
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.

===Drow===
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.

===Dwarves===
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.

===Elves===
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.

===Giants===
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.

===Gnomes===
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner ''is'' the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.

===Halflings===
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).

===Humans===
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|specialized diets]].

===Illithids===
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody thinks they eat brains, but really that was just a myth perpetuated by them to scare the shit out of the "lesser" beings. Illithids actually eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them.
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).

===Kenku===
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.

===Merfolk===
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.

===Minotaurs===
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.

===Ogres===
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest Cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old Fable goes that an Ogre once escaped being execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.

===Orcs===
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.

===Reptilians & Amphibians===
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.

==Creature Meats==

===Aarakocra===
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.

===Axebeak===
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.

===Basidirond===
Terrestrial sapient mushroom. Has no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this Fungus is very spongy, meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" however can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as Mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected with damp nest to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.

===Basilisk===
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and often a powerful magic user will keep them penned and fatten them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.

===Beholder===
Hope you like the taste of eyes, because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.

===Bullywugs===
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.

===Cave Fisher===
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.

===Chimera===
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" after taste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creatures "alchemical" aftertaste.

===[[Chuul]]===
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. They best meat is in the claws and legs and are best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, and oranges or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.

===Darkmantle===
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.

===Dire Animals===
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger, and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.

===Dragon===
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.

===Dwarves===
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's a very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.

===Elves===
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it its signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of fresh water fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter making process as it has lower cholesterol.

===Fire Elementals===
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.

===Flumph===
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to it's slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.

===Goblins===
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen in a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.

===Gnomes===
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.

===Halfling===
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simple eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.

===Hellhound===
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.

===Humans===
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with human in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.

===Hydra===
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting it's regenerating, delicious and easy to prepare meat.

===Kraken===
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.

===Manticore===
Greasy, gamey, a very sweet yet bitter meat- with exception to the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptional sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.

===Orc===
Few people eat orc as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.

===Owlbear===
Very gamey, strong smelling, red-meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, sausages, but it excels in stews and soups a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.

===Phoenix===
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment it's very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.

===Remorhaze===
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.

===Roc===
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes, while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.

===Ropers===
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are actually quite delicious shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic and butter or mushrooms and onions.

===Sea Serpent===
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as is with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.

===Shardminds===
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added by the teaspoons into water.

===Slime===
Inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid.

===Triceratops===
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and lathered with sauce, even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meat loaf with a tomato sauce gravy.

===Troll===
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side-effect.

===Unicorn===
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Almost never hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meat balls, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted Unicorn and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.

===Worm===
Worm Meat is often likened as the "spam of the dwarves" given how well inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of it's texture.

===Yeti===
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to it's similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.

==Eberron Cuisine==

Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.

This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.

Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.

Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.

Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.

Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).

Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.

Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.

While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.

The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.

Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.

Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.

Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.

A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.

Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.

The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.

The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.

Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.

The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.

==Tavern food==

Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.

If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.

For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.

And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.

==Recipes==

Tropajhin Lu'Kurra

700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper

1 Mix egg and mustard.

2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.

3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)

4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).

5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.

6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat

7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)

8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.

9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.

Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.

==Miscellaneous==
* Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
* The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
* Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
* The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
* Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
* Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
* As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
* Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.

[[Category:Awesome]]
[[Category:Food and Drink]]

Warriors of Chaos

2022-08-03T05:12:59Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: Veigs

[[File:All_Fear_the_Wrath_of_the_Norscans.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Vikings FTW!]]
{{topquote|To the ordinary, we are unknowable. Fallen. Corrupted. Rightly feared. You cannot understand our orgins, our motives... the dawning realisation that we are ''not'' fallen. We. Are. '''Ascended.'''|[[Archaon|Archaon the Everchosen]]}}

{{topquote|Moving up and fighting the best keeps me hungry.|Nonito Donaire}}

{{topquote|Then I saw when the Lamb broke one of the seven seals, and I heard one of the four living creatures saying as with a voice of thunder, 'Come.' I looked, and behold, a white horse, and he who sat on it had a bow; and a crown was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer.|Revelation 6:1-2}}

[[Old School Roleplaying|Remember when the followers of the Dark Gods were badass Viking warriors in awesome looking plate armour]] and weren't [[Chaos Space Marines|emo Space Marines]] under the thrall of [[Abaddon|an armless failure]]? Remember when they were led by completely fucking crazy motherfuckers who wrestled fucking Bloodthirsters to the ground as a bloody initiation ritual and rode around on chariots pulled by skinless bears and rode horses fed on human flesh and watered down with blood and had awesome beards rivalled only by Dwarfs? Pepperidge Farm remembers. These are the '''Warriors of Chaos''' (formerly '''Hordes'''), the granddaddies of all that is [[Awesome]] in the Chaos Space Marines, the original Champions of Chaos.

Additionally, every time the words "devout", "cruel", "savage", and synonyms of those show up in the following article, take a swig. I can guarantee that you will at least be drunk (unless you are, in fact, a chaos warrior yourself, in which case you would need to drink a gallon for every derp on the [[Derp]] page (enough to get 6 fully packed Yankee stadiums completely hammered, in case you're wondering)). As you should be, considering you're reading about Vikings.

==Brief Foreword==
Nostalgia aside, you can't truly call yourself a fan of Chaos or Warhammer in general without having at least a cursory knowledge of these guys. These guys are the very essence of Warhammer: baroque plate armour, skulls, Vikings, mutations, Michael Moorcock, J.R.R Tolkien, Hieronymus Bosch, H.P Lovecraft and Heavy Metal; everything that was put in together and left to boil to produce the two most grimdark settings in the history of mankind is encapsulated in these guys. The first edition of Warhammer Fantasy had one of them displayed proudly on it, for Odin's sake (the now legendary [[Harry the Hammer]], the TRUE reason why Warhammer is called Warhammer, check out Harry's new model, it kicks ass). Like it or not, these guys were what forged Warhammer for a lot of people. To this day, no game based on it feels complete without dark armoured marauding warriors of the Nordic or [[Chaos Space Marine|sci-fi]] persuasion. So read on, and see their glory in full.

'''tl;dr''': '''MOTHERFUCKING CHAOS [[Viking|VIKINGS]], MAN!!!'''

If you watch some of the Viking shit that is part of the current minor renaissance in sword-and-longboat fantasy that's been going on in television lately, like ''The Last Kingdom'', you might think that the portrayal of Vikings is not that far off. And arguably, it isn't; they got up to some pretty [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle deranged Khornate shit]. But of course, history was written by the people who they were murder-raping in the name of <s>Khorne</s>Odin. It's pretty much beyond dispute, though, that theirs was a culture very much centered upon raiding (literally what ''viking'' means, more or less) and being a badass warrior; you couldn't get to Valhalla unless you died with a weapon in hand. (Drunken accident? Old age? Getting poisoned or stabbed in the back? Too bad, it's off to Niflheim, the domain of Hel--one 'l', that's after the goddess who reigned there, and no, it wasn't hot, it was motherfucking cold.) Pretty fucking Khornate if you ask me.

They are also the only non-Imperial Guard army to have not been fucked over completely beyond all redemption by the foul [[Cruddace]].

==Fantasy Overview==
In the beginning, the Old Ones came to the Warhammer World and set about doing their crazy magical genetic engineering bullshit. Then, for whatever non-reason the Polar Gates at the top and bottom of the world that they had constructed to ward off Chaos gave out and the world was corrupted and consumed by it. Depending on who you ask, either this event is what birthed Chaos and the Chaos Gods, or they came first and helped cause it. Who knows? The Old Ones fucked off, and left races of Dwarfs and Elves and Slaan. But a fourth creation also that was not fully equipped to resist the influence of Chaos, and of course, this was Man. Mankind was unfinished, and the warpstones that flew from the Northern polar wastes caused the acceleration of physical and cultural progress and, most importantly, of the human mind. The races of men gained a vigor and fire from the power of Chaos that drove them to great heights of glory and caused them to surpass the manufactured races of the Old Ones. In many ways, the history of Chaos ''is'' the history of mankind in the Warhammer world, serving as a dark reflection of what corrupted humanity can look like, the civilized soldiers and benevolent Order Gods of the South mirrored by the barbaric warriors and the cruel, fickle Chaos Gods of the North. It was only fitting that some tribes amongst Humanity would come to worship the various Gods of Chaos, namely the best-known four of them (and a long time ago [[Chaos Gods of Law|some others that GW sadly forgot about]] and [[Malal|another they were contractually forced to forget about.]])

The most notable of these was the Norsii. who would later be feared by all of the Old World as the fierce '''Norse''', the most brutal and devout worshipers of Chaos. They were joined by their cousins as well, the brutal '''Kurgan''' of the Eastern Steppes and the squat and ferocious (yet anatomically gifted in certain areas) '''Hung'''. These are the three Great Races of Men, for it is they alone who are favored by the mighty Gods. Together, they are the Northmen, and they shall make the World tremble.

On the tabletop, the Warriors of Chaos tend to be unstoppable close combat powerhouses (as they should be, they're Vikings), with little in the way of ranged fire support. Very melee oriented, even their sorcerers can be thrown into melee and be expected to hold their own. They have very powerful magic that can be used to supplement their incredible power. They have extremely powerful Lord choices who might very well be the most powerful generic lords in the game. They have a pretty high points cost, though, so you're going to be outnumbered. On the other hand, that shouldn't bother you too much because they're badasses. The problem is that you have a predictable play style and are more or less ineffective if you can't get into melee. Movement phases are important, especially in fantasy, so think about how you move your forces. Despite it being a predictable play style, it's still easy to grasp and simple to use, which also makes the Warriors a good starting army. Also, because of the low model count since these guys have a large point cost, it doesn't cost that much by GW standards to put a good army together. So, if you like Vikings in spiky armor, get the Warriors.

==The Men of the North==
The twisted northlands of [[Norsca]] and the [[Eastern Steppes]] straddle the line between mere mortality and the realm of the immortal, for they the closest of the realms to the foul Chaos Wastes and the portal that leads to the realm of the Chaos Gods. Known as Rainsheim amongst the Norse, and a dozen other names amongst those others who dare to treat with Chaos; Northman or Southman. The power of Chaos has corrupted all the lands of the world, but as the distance from the pole decreases, the influence of Chaos increases. And so, the men of Norsca and the Kurgan realms are saturated with the power of the gods.

The men who dwell in the Northlands are, for the most part, barbarous and savage compared to those who live in the settled lands to the south. They are not physically unlike other men and, in times of peace, merchants from the Norse and Kurgan can be found trading their wares in the markets of cosmopolitan cities such as Marienburg in the west and the Hung can be found doing the same in Weijin in the east. Yet, in some other forms, they are unlike their fellows to the South. For they worship evil Gods of Blood, Decay, Scheming, and Debauchery and live brutal, primitive lives of war. Most lamentably, they all live directly under the shadow of Chaos and are slaves to its Will.

Depending on what version of the lore you go with, not all of Norsca is enthralled to Chaos. Old material mentions tribes and whole kingdoms living and coexisting with the Southlands, some even taking to worshiping other Gods like [[Ulric]]. Some of these tribes are even mentioned as fighting Chaos and trying to steer their brethren away from falling victim to it. Again, this varies quite a bit between editions and even within editions themselves.

The men of the Northlands have many different gods. Most are daemons and valorous dead or ascended Champions of Chaos deified by their tribes (a practice especially common with the Norse) or manifestations of the natural world (as is common amongst the Kurgan), but all the Northmen owe their highest worship to the Four Great Gods of Chaos, whom they readily recognize as the masters of these lesser deities. The Northmen do not think of the Chaos Gods as evil, as the superstitious men of the South are wont to. But as individuals, they are as unpredictable as mortals. Thus, the Northmen reasonably maintain that such powerful entities are beyond the moral judgment of men. It is thus every warrior's duty to honour the gods in all walks of life. Such things are self-evident. To deny the gods and not worship them would be foolish, their existence in the North is a simple fact of life; evident in the mark of Khorne proudly displayed by a Norscan marauder as he leaps from his longship to savage Imperial soldiers with his daemonic strength, or in the mark of Tzeentch borne by a Kurgan rider as he fells a Kislevite warrior with his new-found blade of bone in place of a hand. To resent this state of affairs would be like resenting the sunrise or the wind - What would it accomplish?

The Four are known by many names amongst the people of the North. Nonetheless, all the Gods are recognized by them. And it is not uncommon for the tribes to choose one god amongst them as a patron (the Norse tribes commonly take Khorne as theirs, while some tribes of the Kurgan may choose Tzeentch) - who is seen as the father and protector of their kindred. Lesser gods and daemons are also worshiped, along with great heroes peculiar to a particular tribe who are often chieftains who died such glorious deaths that they were raised to sit beside the god of their tribe in eternal glory.

Though they may seem barely civil in times of peace, the Norse, Kurgan and Hung are vicious races of bloodthirsty warriors. Used to battling amongst themselves - war is their natural state and they wage it without concern or prejudice. They rejoice in battle and strength at arms, and honour the brave of both sides while despising the cowards likewise. Yet they are willing to forget their differences when the Gods command them to fight on their behalf. For there is no greater joy than to fight and die in the armies of the immortals.

===The Daemon Norse===
{{topquote|From the harsh snowlands they come. Blond of hair they are, and blue of eye, and tattoos upon arms and face and chest. Their eyes are mad with bloodlust, for blood they thirst for, driven forth on the whims of the Gods they seek to appease. Clad in but few garments and wielding clumsy, brutal axes and maces, they rage against the civilized lands of the south, burning, pillaging, looting all before them to offer up as sacrifice to their uncaring masters beyond the gates of hell in the Northern Wastes.|The Liber Chaotica as penned by Richter Kleiss, former Priest of Sigmar}}

The Norse of Norsca are the most brutal, fierce and savage followers of the Chaos Gods in the Warhammer world. They are the tallest, most physically strong race in the Old World, raised amongst a culture that respects only strength and the ability to kill and closeness to the Primordial Gods. All of Norsca is in the thrall of Chaos, corrupting the mountainous wasteland with the essence of change that seeps not only into man and beast but the very ground itself. Mutations are so common as to be universal among the Norscans, seen as signs of blessings from the Chaos Gods. Mighty warbands prowl the mainland and the horrific mountain ranges that connects the lands of the Norse to the Chaos Wastes. The seas about Norsca are filled with massive longships mastered by the terrible Chaos Champions and their kinsmen who stride the seas searching for either artefacts, purchase by which they may wage war against the weak southlings as demanded by their Gods, or merely any other ship to vent their rage upon. When the call to war is given, the Norse are always at the forefront, tearing down all opposition and cleaving the way into the weak lands of Sigmar. The Norse are always on the warpath, launching continuous and brutal sea raids upon the heavily fortified coast of the Northern Empire and northern Kislev.

It should come as little surprise that the Norsemen are the most fiercely devout followers of Khorne, the God of War. And it is from the Norse that the majority of Khorne's followers are derived. Many Norse Champions of Chaos go on to be the most favored of Khorne's warriors; Cormac Bloodaxe, Scyla Anfingrimm, Hogan Headhacker, Haargroth the Blooded, Arbaal the Undefeated, Valmir Aesling, Hrothgar Daemonaxe, Urlfdaemonkin -- all savage Norse warriors who have risen to pre-eminence in the eyes of the Blood God. In fact, Khorne's own consort, Valkia the Bloody, has risen from the brutal clans of the Norse.

With such a track record, it was obvious that the Imperials would deny any idea that the Norse are even remotely human. Most theories tend to focus on their favour from the Dark Gods and use that as the bedrock for all kinds of claims. Due to them being incredibly strong, very tall and all warriors (at least, all those encountered commonly by the Imperials are such) and devoted to the Dark Gods, Imperials have come to the conclusions that the Norse are a race of superhumans, or that they are daemons shaped as men, or are half-giants. The truth, shaded in the fantastic as it is, is still more interesting.

Contrary to what the Imperials historians zealously claim; they are not the first ones to settle in the Reik basin. Even the Bretonnians and the Nehekharans have held a portion of the land that would later become the heart of the Empire, and the ancestors of the Norse were no different. Known as the Norsii, their ancestral homeland was indeed the frozen Wastes of Norsca. But some of their kinsmen migrated South to the lands that would become part of the Empire. The Norsii were ever the mighty and favored warriors of Chaos, as their descendants are. They were prone to waging bloody and terrible war upon the southern tribes, particularly the Udoses, Teutogens and Roppsmenn. The Norsii's reign of terror was only stopped by the hosts of the southlings gathering to drive them back to their frozen homeland. But from there they would rejoin their kinsmen who still dwelt in the North and return to continue their depredations. It was only Sigmar himself who managed to finally drive the Norsii hordes from the Empire. And only barely. It is a telling thing that the first defeat Sigmar ever suffered came at hands of the vicious Norsmen, led by the ancient Chaos Lord of Khorne: Cormac Bloodaxe.

The Norse are amongst the most fearsome and most devoted warriors of Chaos, but they are also devoted to their tribal affiliations. The tribe forms the very core of the Norse identity, as they are not a unified people by any means, and thus have no concept of nationality. A Norscan will never call himself such. He will identify himself based on tribe and parentage. A Varg will see his loyalties extend only to his immediate tribe and to a much lesser extent, others under the same confederation. After all, even amongst the various so called High Tribes, multitudes of lesser tribes and families will exist. For instance, under the Aesling High Tribe, there exists many other lesser clans owing allegiance to it; such as the Gorehunt, the Snaegr, Skrae and Untam. The various Norscan clans are divided into two main blocks for easy reference based on geography; the Northern tribes and the Southern tribes.

===The Northern Norscan Tribes===
*'''[[Aeslings]]''': The most dreaded and terrifying and powerful of the Norse High Tribes are the Aeslings. They are the most savage and brutal men of Norsca. Even among the other Northernmost Northman tribes they are held in fear. Only favour from the Gods and strength and excellence at arms are valued. [[Grimdark|Thus, they are a people who respect only strength and infants who do not measure to their standards of physical perfection are murdered outright with little fuss.]] While reprehensible, this combined with their constant warfare on others has forged a race who are undoubtedly some of the greatest warriors of all the Northmen. Amongst the Aesling tribes, it is [[Khorne]] who is worshiped above all other Gods and it is not uncommon for tribes to dedicate themselves solely to him. For even amongst the Norsemen, the Aeslings are a people who thrive on war. While one Champion of Chaos may master a crew of marauders who bring ruination on Erengrad or Nordland, another might lead his people in slaughtering the Norse Dwarfs or even their own Norse kinsmen. Even the Kurgans to the east are not safe from the Aeslings' reckless thirst for death, for it is often that an Aesling Jarl will lead his murderous kinsmen in preying upon the many roving Kurgan tribes, slaughtering them and offering up their lives to the vicious Chaos Gods. Their lust for killing has won them no friends, what few allies they have are bound to them by only fear and intimidation, for much like the god they worship, the Aes care not whence the blood flows.

*'''[[Vargs]]''': Another Northern tribe. The Vargs are the most twisted in body and soul of the Norse; they claim the Northern tundras as their lands and fought many horrific beasts to claim it, such as giants, beastmen and daemons of Chaos. They have managed to domesticate the fearsome mammoths of that area, and will often bear them to battle as beasts of war. The Vargs have a blood hatred of the Kurgans that dates backs to untold stretches of ancient history. Time has done little to dampen their hate, and they often mount massive raids into the Kurgan lands, which are joined by Aesling mercenaries, that wreak great devastation of the men of the Eastern Steppes. The Vargs are also dedicated warriors of Khorne, like the Aeslings, and are viciously devoted to his creed of death. The Vargs are said to have come from distant lands and settled in Norsca, led by their greatest and most legendary chieftain; a mighty Chaos Lord of Khorne known as Hrothgar Daemonaxe, who led them in conquering land and enslaving weaker tribes. Hrothgar later went deeper into the realms of the Gods and ascended to Daemonhood. The Vargs know Khorne by the name of ''Arkhar''. One day, a band of horny Varg maraduers decided to trouble the southerners. So, they travelled from all the way from northernmost part of Norsca to Nordland, hellbent on giving them a huuge trouble. And they did. One of these maraduers saw a random fisherman's beautiful wife and thought ''By the [[Slaanesh|Serpent]], that woman is hot. I am going to [[Rape|have fun]] with her.'' [[Grimdark|So he did]]. The result was the birth of a certain devout Templar Knight of Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb. What was his name? His name was [[Archaon|Diederick Kastnar]]. Sounds familiar? This makes the Vargs indirectly responsible for the [[Rage|destruction of Warhammer World]]. In the video game [[Total War: WARHAMMER]], they have a faction up in the Northern Norsca led by a chieftain named Surtha ''[[Meme|'''"BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION!"''']]'' Ek, who is known for slaughtering Southerners with the use of massive chariot tactics.

*'''[[Graelings]]''': The last of the Northern Norse tribes and the most westerly of the Norse, close to Elven lands and prone to raiding those places. They come into conflict with Dark Elven corsairs frequently and the terror of the villages and fortresses of Klar Karond. Though it is also said that when they are not killing them, the Graelings sell slaves culled from the southern lands and Ulthuan to the Dark Elves. They do not gravitate to one Chaos God over another, but are, like most Northman tribes, prone to celebrating Chaos in all its glory. Haargroth the Blooded rose up from this tribe.

===The Southern Norscan Tribes===
*'''[[Skaelings]]''': Sea raiders without equal, the Skaelings are perhaps [[Ork Kommando|the most cunning of the Norse]]. They are the closest of the Chaos worshipers to the southern lands, so it is not uncommon to find them raiding the South. During the Storm of Chaos, Skaeling sea-raiders were utilized to great effectiveness by the Lord of the End Times in harrying and diverting the fleets of Brettonia and Nordland. In addition to their veneration of the Chaos Gods, the Skaelings also worship another daemonic deity known as Mermedus, who some Imperial theologians consider to be a Norscan interpretation of Manann. Though there is little in common with the mighty Imperial sea-god and the abominable daemon the Skaelings make human sacrifices to. Others have considered Mermedus to be the Chaotic reflection of Stromfells, another ill-tempered deity of the sea. interestingly, their name is not a reference to the Vikings themselves, but to the people who lived around the north American colony of vinland, who they called the Skrælings. So the Skaelings may not be chaos Vikings, but rather Chaos Inuit.

*'''[[Baersonlings]]''': A people who would not be odd living in the North of Norsca, the Baersonlings are tireless reavers who are proud of their martial prowess, which is truthfully legendary even amongst the Northmen. Though they are not quite as strong and fierce as the Aeslings, they war with them frequently. Their relations with the Kurgan tribes is similarly icy, and their lands often stretch into the fringes of the Eastern Steppes, which invites war. Not that this disturbs the Baersonlings, war is just another way to glorify the Chaos Gods. They are known for their copious body hair and a strange Chaos mutation that transforms them into unstoppable bear-like monstrosities. Beorg Bearstruck, a powerful Champion of Chaos, and his marauder tribe, the Bearmen of Urslo, are descended from this strain of the Norse nation.

*'''[[Sarls]]''': The Sarls are rugged barbarian warriors. Mighty and indomitable and devoted to the Dark Powers, they have distinguished themselves in the armies of the Chaos Gods often. Wulfrik the Wanderer, one of the greatest Champions of Chaos and executioner of the Chaos Gods rose from these people. The Sarl also destroyed the last and most terrible of the treeblood, using the bark harvested from the creature to create the second ''Seafang'' of [[Wulfrik the Wanderer|Wulfrik]] after the first was lost in a raid on the Elves. Oh and this clan was destroyed after Wulfrik fucked it up by killing the chieftain son and rival clan puppet leader to once again incite the civil war between the two.

*'''[[The Hobbit|Bjorn]]lings''': Little is known of this tribe. But among them are the Crow Brothers, devout warriors of Nurgle.

*'''[[Rotbloods]]''': A tribe of Nurgle worshippers, mentioned in [[Vermintide]] and an enemy faction in the sequel. A tribe driven to such desperation that they not only primarily worship Nurgle (rare for Norscans) but even thought it would be smart to [[derp|ally with]] [[Skaven]]. The champion Bovarr Ribspreader leads their war parties in the south. Thanks to the Skaven created Skittergate, they got to give Helmsgart an early preview of the End Times during the fighting, though they got smashed in [[Vermintide 2]] and Bödvarr was cut down.

===Famous Norse Chaos Champions===
"''I pity you and all the world, for amongst all the races of men, the gods favour we Norse alone''."

*'''[[Morkar the Uniter]]''': The First Everchosen of Chaos; Morkar was the survivor of an Imperial raid upon his village in the aftermath of the defeat of Cormac Bloodaxe's horde at the gates of Middenheim. He rose up to become the greatest Champion of Chaos of his generation and united the Norse tribes in his quest to gain the mark of the gods. He reaped many great conquests and honour and fear were heaped upon his name. No foe could withstand his rage in battle and no enemy was beyond his keen mind to defeat. Eventually, he was crowned as the Eternal Conqueror of the Gods by Be'lakor and led the vengeful Norsemen and their Kurgan allies in unmaking the decadent Empire. He was only defeated narrowly in single combat with Sigmar himself (pre retcon it was Aenarion who killed him). After his death, his body was taken by his kinsmen and buried in a great cairn in the Chaos Wastes. A sliver of Morkar's spirit remained in the armour long after his death, left to brood over his defeat and to forever curse the name of the cowardly Sigmar who derailed his great conquest by his craven single combat. (Let it never be said that, whatever his badass credentials, Morkar was NOT a sore loser.) Morkar the Uniter's rest was disturbed millennia after by his successor, Archaon, who sought the legendary indestructible armour of the First Everchosen in his quest for the 6 Treasures of Chaos; even in death, Morkar was too great for the Lord of the End Times to defeat in open battle. It was only by shouting a curse in the long dead tongue of the Unberogen tribe, the people of Sigmar, that Archaon was able to immobilize the reanimated armour of the dead Champion and defeat it, casting the last part of his spirit back to the Realm of Chaos and take the legendary armour for his own. To this day, Morkar's Chaos plate protects the Lord of the End Times, granting him the same incredible invulnerability as it did its former wearer.

*'''[[Cormac Bloodaxe]]''': One of the first great leaders of the Warriors of Chaos, and the first Champion of Chaos to be possessed by a greater daemon of Khorne. Cormac Bloodaxe, son of Varag Skulltaker, witnessed the rout of his people at the hand of the tyrant Sigmar. Though the Norsii fought fiercely and slew many despite their small numbers, Sigmar's forces were too numerous and his strange war-machines burned away the proud longships that carried the Norsemen in bringing ruination and desolation to the enemies of the Dark Gods of the North. The Norsii returned to their ancestral homeland of Norsca, and a molten core of hate and violence began to burn in Cormac's heart, which would lead him to becoming the greatest Chosen of Khorne and a force of such might and power that would reunite the tribes of Norsca into an unstoppable host that would crush the Empire of Sigmar. With the aid of the Norsii sorcerer, Kar Odacen, Cormac did bind the Norse tribes to his banner, reclaimed the ancient Chaos armour of his father, and bound a great daemon of Khorne to his axe. The eastern tribes of the Kurgan and Hung also prostrated themselves to the Norseman's banner and pledged their lives to his glory. Cormac's leadership saw the first decisive defeat the Imperials ever suffered, he had managed to match wits with Sigmar and defeated him utterly. At the behest of his sorcerer, Cormac was led to invade the City of the White Wolf. In spite of his better judgement which said to instead surround the city and isolate and pick off Sigmar's reinforcements from other southern tribes. Yet, Cormac was leader of the Norsii by the will of the Gods alone, and the Gods willed him to end the Empire with one fell stroke. Cormac's superior Norse warriors, drunk on the blessings of the Dark Gods, and strengthened with armies of daemons and beastmen assaulted Middenheim and victory was near. On the counsel of his shaman, Cormac offered himself up to become the sacrifice necessary to bring forth a Bloodthirster to break the final defenses of Middenheim. The Bloodthirster crossed blades with Sigmar and cast him down, readying for the killing stroke until Ulric himself intervened and cast the daemon into the Realm of Chaos. The Norsii later fled back to Norsca with this setback.

*'''[[Hrothgar Daemonaxe]]''': A great Chaos Lord dedicated to Khorne, first chieftain of the Vargs, and said to be as powerful as a mighty Bloodthirster in battle. It was Hrothgar who led the Vargs out from the East to settle the northern tundras of Norsca, destroying and enslaving weaker tribes of Norse and Kurgan on the way. Bearing a great daemonic battleaxe forged in the visage of a howling wolf, Hrothgar's favour from Arkhar the Wolf (the Varg name for Khorne) was clear. After his many victories were completed, he went to the Chaos Wastes and ascended to Daemonhood. To this day, Hrothgar Daemonaxe is venerated by all Vargs as a lesser deity of Chaos. And is believed to stand at the right hand of Khorne where he sternly judges the exploits of his people.

*'''[[Valmir Aesling]]''': King of the Aesling tribes, one time ally to Asavar Kul, self styled 'Emperor of Chaos' and bane of the Norse Dwarfs. Valmir Aesling was a ruthless and efficient leader of Men. Brooding and silent, save for the occasional and invariably fatal burst of temper. He was feared and renowned for punishing any insolence or slight with the most horrific tortures imaginable. When Asavar Kul was slain at the gates of Kislev (and there are rumours that Valmir himself might have done the deed, for a jagged blade was found impaled in Kul's skull), Valmir was fighting a secret, but no less bloody war against the Norse Dwarf holds. Valmir despised all the races of the Old World, except his own, and thus had long desired the destruction of the Dwarfs that hid in the southern mountains around his homeland of Norsca. Valmir swore an oath to Khorne: he would not rest until he had destroyed the Dwarfs by cutting out the heart of their nation, the hold of Kraka Drak. Valmir's Norse warriors faced the Dwarfs and soon both were locked in a vicious stalemate. But Valmir had planned the battle well, he had gained the allegiance of the Khornate Daemon Prince Aghask, who smashed aside the Dwarf's resistance in key areas, he had gained the aid of battalions of Chaos Knights from Troll Country who crushed the Dwarfen rearguard. Valmir himself charged across the field on his Chaos Chariot, pulled by six skinless bears, slaughtering all opposition to face the Norse Dwarf High King in battle. Valmir threw the severed heads of his champions before him and challenged him to single combat. Incensed at this barbarous affront to his people's honour, the Dwarf King accepted the Norse Lord's challenge. Both armies held their breath as their lords faced one another in a mighty duel. Though Valmir was more than thrice the Dwarf's height, he found himself evenly matched against the ancient, doughty king. Seeing that he could not defeat the Norse King, the Dwarf Lord shouted one word; ''"cannons!"''. Thus, did the Dwarfs fire the great canons of Kraka Drak, shattering the Norse Chaos Warriors and entombing both them and thousands of Dwarfs until the collapsed ruin of what was once the mightiest of the northern Dwarf cities. Both Valmir and the Dwarf King had fallen, slain not by each other's steel, but by snow and stone. Yet, the hold was indeed no more, and underneath the ruins, the hardened Norsemen continued on, methodically slaughtering the remaining Dwarfs. Valmir, albeit posthumously, had upheld his grim oath.

*'''[[Wulfrik the Wanderer]]''': Perhaps the greatest warrior to rise up from the Sarl tribes is Wulfrik the Wanderer, whose name is spoken in fearful whispers. Once a champion of Chaos Undivided amongst the Sarls who thwarted the armies of a great Aesling tribe and slew their king, a mighty Champion of Chaos known as Torgald, Wulfrik had made a drunken boast at the battle's end that he was greater than any warrior in this world or the next. After passing out from quaffing no less than 7 barrels of mead, Wulfrik found his dreams visited by an emissary of the Dark Gods he worshiped. The emissary told Wulfrik that the gods were displeased with his boastful tongue, but had seen fit to allow him to prove his arrogant words. When he awoke, Wulfrik found he had been marked by not one, but all of the four great gods of Chaos, and his tongue was re-shaped into a flitting, forked thing that allowed him to speak in any language. Wulfrik claimed his legendary longship, the Seafang, from the hoard of a Skaeling Chaos Sorceror who he slew in combat. From then on, Wulfrik would be known as the Inescapable One, travelling the hinterlands of the world to slay the fiercest creatures at the whims of the gods. Wulfrik is perhaps one of the greatest warriors in all the world, for he has slaughtered giants, dragons and merwyrms like cattle and even daemons have cowed before him and begged his mercy. He is the Executioner of the Chaos Gods, and is one of their most devout followers. To Khorne he offers up the skulls of those he has slain, to Slaanesh he gives their still-beating hearts, to Nurgle the contents of their slit guts, and Tzeentch he honours with their final breath.

*'''[[Valkia the Bloody]]''': The Sword-Maiden of the Blood God, the Bringer of Glory, the Chooser of the Slain and the Gorequeen of the Norse. Valkia is Khorne's servant who carries the spirits of worthy warriors so that they may fight on forever in the Blood God's Halls. The sagas of her people tell that she was once a mortal woman, a Norse queen of the ancient and long-dead Schwarzvolf tribe. She gained the favour of Khorne by slaying any who dared contest her claim in honourable battle and also by defeating the Champions of the lesser Chaos Gods. Foremost amongst these was Locephax, a daemon prince of Slaanesh who sought to enslave the warrior-queen. Valkia felt the berserker rage come upon her and she took up her great spear Slaupnir and struck down the daemon and affixed its severed head to her shield. Valkia then traveled to the uttermost North of the world and, with the fanaticism of the true believer, pledged herself utterly to the Axefather. Valkia almost succeeded in coming before her beloved god's throne, but was slain like countless others in the twisted hellscape of the realm of Chaos. Khorne was displeased, for he had great plans for the woman, and his bellowing fury was so thunderous that it shook the world and roused Valkia from death. Khorne was angry with her weak mortal form and remade her into a being more pleasing to him. A true vision of destructive power: great bloody wings tore out from her once shapely back, her legs were refashioned into those of a bloodletter and massive horns rose from her skull. Her only purpose now is to reap more skulls for her mighty lord and to choose the valorous Norsemen dedicated to Khorne who fall fight on at their god's side in the Realm of Chaos 'till his rage devours all that exists. When Valkia takes to the mortal skies, all the Norse tribes dedicated to Khorne march under her shadow, for they know that she will carry them to the realms beyond to be Khorne's chosen in the afterlife, a prize beyond all measure. Where she flies, whole lands are drenched in blood. Such is the power Khorne has granted her.

*'''[[Scyla Anfingrimm]]''': The Saga of the Gorebeast is a long and terrifying one amongst the savage Norse clans, the fame of the Talon of Khorne lives long in the songs sung by the Skalds of many a Norscan meadhall and in the terrified ramblings of those few Imperials who have born witness to the unstoppable fury of Scyla and survived. Tales told of a hulking beast the colour of blood who wears a massive bronze collar and is festooned with the blasphemous ritual marks of Khorne, and who lays low all who stand against him with its unquenchable thirst for death. Yet, it was not always so. For the greatest of Khorne's [[Chaos Spawn]] was once a man, '''once a man, ONCESSSSE A MAAAANNRGABLFARBLLEHC--'''--ahem--was once one of his greatest and most fearsome champions. Scyla Anfingrimm was the bane of the Old World from his homeland of frozen Norsca to the shores of distant Ind, his name synonymous with victory, slaughter and pillage. As a man, Scyla was marked by Khorne and elevated into the highest echelons of the god's favour; earning not only the respect of his tribesmen but all the raiders of the neighboring fjords. It was Scyla who single-handedly laid low the fearsome Jabberwock that plagued the River Voltag, and it was Scyla's daemonic greatsword that destroyed the tentacled beast that ruled the Bay of Blades. Every spring, he and his marauders would take to their longships and slaughter their way through the Empire, through Bretonnia and even as far south of Khemri. Returning from their raids drunk on blood and glory, the hulls of their ships filled to bursting with ancient treasures and slaves ready to be thrown upon sacrificial pyres dedicated to Khorne. The people of the Ironpelt would often chatter about how Scyla would soon ascend to daemonhood. They were right in a sense. After orchestrating the Massacre of Black Gulch, which caused the great chasm to run red with Skaven blood, Scyla was gifted with even greater physical strength and massive ape-like arms infused with the power of Chaos. Thanking the Axefather for his blessing, Scyla launched daring raids against the war-dhows of Dhuli armada, personally reducing their great flagship to splinters. This time, he was gifted a serpentine tail ending with a snapping maw. Scyla's merciless killing of the Chaos Dwarf delegation sent to trade with his tribe resulted in a great profusion of horn-like plates covering his mighty frame. After single-handedly annihilating the bestial Gorgers of the Undermountain, Khorne was so pleased with Scyla's might that he gifted the Champion with the mind of a ravenous beast. With that, Scyla's body spiraled out of control. His transformation into a Chaos Spawn was complete '''NO!!! GRISHIISOSKS'''. That day, Scyla fell from a feared and far-famed warlord. His warband fell to the leadership of his second-in-command and next most favoured of Khorne; Erlock One-Eye. Scyla was still afforded the same respect and honour from his companions, arguably moreso, for now he was a living sacrament to Khorne's power and might. Unlike other Chaos Spawn '''Not Again! GRAAAGH!''', Scyla remains the favoured of Khorne; a testament to his greatness in his former life. Scyla exists as he did before, only to fight and slaughter for the pleasure of his fearsome god. His destiny is only to mete out death against those foolish enough to face him.

*'''[[Sigvald|Sigvald the Magnificent]]''': Chaos Lord [[A Song of Ice and Fire|Joffrey]]. Though he appears no more than a boy of sixteen, Sigvald the Magnificent has blighted the Old World for three centuries. The inbred child of a great Norse Chaos Lord and his own sister, Sigvald was spoiled with all he ever wished, it was only after his cannibalistic tendencies were revealed that the tribe forced him out. Feigning dismay, Sigvald sneaked into the longhouse and murdered his own father while he slept, fleeing then to the Chaos Wastes. The personification of beauty on the outside, but as horrifying as the lowest Spawn on the inside, Sigvald rides as Geld-Prince of the Decadent Host; an army of amorous madwomen and men who seek to attend his every debased whim. Marked by the Prince of Excess and gifted with Sliverslash, a blade forged from a sliver of the Sword of Slaanesh, it is clear to all that Sigvald the Magnificent is the greatest Champion of Slaanesh to walk the world. Recently tried to kill all the high Elves on the grounds that they must die for having better hair than him. (Seriously, this guy is pretty much Joffrey from [[A Song of Ice and Fire]]; both were born from brother-sister incest, both are handsome blonde men, both are arrogant and morally repulsive [[That Guy|shits]]. The difference is Sigvald is still alive and even more [[Grimdark]])

*'''[[Vilitch the Curseling]]''': Once upon a time, two twins were born. One of them was Thomin, a well-liked, well-built man who was a great warrior and whom everyone expected to become a great leader. The other was Vilitch, a twisted, decrepit freak whom everyone beat up and could only scrape by as some sorcerer's apprentice. Needless to say, Vilitch hated this setup and prayed to [[Tzeentch]] for him to switch the twins' destinies. Then, one Geheimnisnacht, the big bird answered and merged the twins together. Vilitch was now fused to Thomin's body and as a result became far smarter and more magically adept while Thomin became reduced to a braindead brute. The twin-abomination then decided to use this newfound power to murder all the people who made fun of him and used his magic to mentally enslave the mightiest warriors of his tribe.

*'''[[Festus the Leechlord]]''': Doctor, plaguemaster, and one of [[Nurgle]]'s favorite guys. Originally a good Nordland doctor who knew everything about how to cure diseases. He was then driven to insanity when he found himself incapable of curing a certain plague that swept the lands and in desperation, made a pact with the plague god in order to learn the knowledge needed to cure it. Sure, he got that knowledge, but he also turned so insane that he stopped caring about curing things and began a life of testing out all sorts of diseases and being a generally sick sack of shit (as most Nurglites are wont to). So he became basically the Dr Mengele of the Old World.

*'''[[Dragon Ogres|Kholek Suneater]]''': A FUCKING HUGE 4 legged dragon Ogre. He is a massive Beast armed with a HUUUGE THUNDER HAMMER who can crush dragons. He was a living battering ram who also managed to crush bloodthirsters.

===The Kurgan Tribes===

Not much is known about Kurgans, because they're generally overlooked by GW in favor of their Norscan brothers. Their location points to being Chaos Mongols. There is still some information, however:

*'''Khazags''': They're known as the guys who had first tamed the War Mammoths. [[Games Workshop|Creatively named after Kazakh nation.]]
*'''Dolgans''': [[That Guy|That Guys]] of Kurgan. They hate every other Chaos-affiliated tribe as much as the southerners and prefer to kill everyone who isn't Dolgan on sight. Some of them, thankfully, managed to avoid the Gods' corruption and now live in [[Kislev]], though their population is declining.
*'''[[Space Wolves|Iron Wolves]]''': An interesting tribe, because it's only partially Kurgan. These furries also have a Norse ancestry, descending from the vikings whose asses were kicked by [[Sigmar]] so hard they had to run to the [[Eastern Steppes]]. They are resented by both ancestral tribes and generally think of themselves as independent people.
*'''[[Asavar Kul|Kul]]''': Yeah, those Kul. They're probably the strongest Kurgan tribe that constantly raids the shit out of the neighbours and have a well-developed slavery system. They're also interesting for their complicated religious views, as they do not swear themselves to one of [[Chaos Gods|four major Gods]], instead [[Chaos Undivided|praying to hundred gods and seeking the favor of all of them.]] [[Black Legion|So, pretty much these guys.]] [[Asavar Kul]], Zar of the Kul, was the twelfth Everchosen of Chaos who fought during the [[Great War Against Chaos]] leading the Chaos forces. After Asavar died, his successor was usurped and murdered by [[Vardek Crom]], who is the current Zar.
*'''Tahmaks''', '''Tokmars''', '''Yusak''' etc.: really minor tribes that are barely mentioned in the lore.

===The Kurgan Characters===

*'''The Great Kurgan''': [[Jaghatai Khan|Genghis Khan]] of Kurgans who is only mentioned in [[Tamurkhan: Throne of Chaos]] supplements. He did the unthinkable and managed to unite all of the tribes, creating a truly gigantic empire that managed to beat Hung, [[Hobgoblin|Hobgoblins]] and [[Cathay]]. [[Awesome|Impressive.]] He was also the first Kurgan chieftain to make a deal with [[Chaos]] to get their power on his side, though eventually they fucked him over.
*'''Asavar Kul''': [[Gets shit done|gets shit done]]. Managed to cripple [[Kislev]] for centuries way before both [[Archaon]] and [[Abaddon|Failbaddon]] even managed to do something meaningful. Has his own [[Asavar Kul|page]].
*'''Tamurkhan''': a [[Nurgle|Nurglite]] warrior riding a toad, who is a protagonist of the narrative-driven campaign of the same name. Has his own [[Tamurkhan|page]].
*'''Surtha Lenk''': minor [[Tzeench|Tzeenchite]] warlord and the commander of [[Archaon|Archaon's]] vanguard. Took part in destruction of [[Kislev]] and [[Ostland]] during the [[End Times]].
*'''Vardek Crom''': current Kul chieftain (Zar) and the Herald of Everchosen. Has his own [[Vardek Crom|page]].

=== The Hung ===
{{topquote|Them Kurgan is bad. But the Hung, they jus’ nasty.|Gorg, famous [[Ogre Kingdoms|Ogre]] Philosopher}}

{{topquote|We make deal, yes? You give us gold and women, we no attack. You not give enough gold or women, so we attack. We attack anyway. We make deal, yes?|Average Hung diplomat, showing that even [[The Beast|some orks]] from the [[Warhammer 40,000|different setting]] are better in negotiations than them}}
The least described [[Chaos]] race, mainly for three reasons: they operate in [[Naggaroth]] and [[Eastern Lands]], and the incursions in those regions are described only in the short sentences of some backstory fluff; they're similar to their Kurgan brothers in almost everything; and finally, they're a [[Hobgoblin|pretty negative Mongolian stereotype]], although the fact they're also located in northwestern Naggaroth also could paint then as Chaos Inuits as well, and [[Games Workshop|GW]] certainly doesn't want another [[Pygmies (Warhammer Fantasy)|Pygmies]].

Overall, from what we can gather Hungs are savages and barbarians to the extreme: while previous Chaos races at least have some sort of society and culture, these people only exist to [[RIP AND TEAR|kill, slaughter, rape and fight]]. All they need is a woolen tent, a [[Choppa|choppa]] and a steed. Seriously, their love for <s>horses</s> ponies can only be rivaled by [[Bretonnia|Bretonnians]] (so... Chaos Bretonnians?). Another faction which they resemble are [[Skaven]]: Hungs are insanely backstabby and have no honor at all, to the point that "A Word of Hung" in [[Cathay]] means a "Worthless Promise". Hell, they even abuse the dogs that they use for hunting. [[That Guy|Bastards]]. Oh, and they're cannibals.

With that being said, what do we have in the end? The Hung are insanely evil barbarians that have no respect for anyone or anything and are hated by every other faction (including fellow Chaos Warriors). They have no redeeming qualities and rival Skaven for being the most evil race in the entire game. So, it's probably good that GW downplayed them severely.

Despite their name, they don't seem to favour Slaanesh more than any other Chaos God.

===The Tong===
Besides Norscans, Kurgans, and Hung, there are also the Tong. The Tong are the Chaos Warrior people who lives closest to the entrance to the Realm of Chaos, and as such are the most mentally fucked up and physically mutated of the lot. Complete and utter psycho berserkers, they are featured in Total War Warhammer as being lead by a Chaos Champion named "Ragnar".

===Skaramor===
A migratory tribe of Khorne worshippers who view non-Chaos Worshippers as unworthy of having their skulls given to Khorne, and as such limit their raids to killing members of other Chaos Warrior Tribes like Norscans, Hung, and Kurgan. The Skaramor are worth noting as they were the tribe that Scylla Amfingrimm originated from in his mortal life.

===Veigs===
Another tribe of Khorne worshippers, who are cannibals and murderers, and loathed by the Kurgan, who they share a bitter enmity with.

== Gallery ==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Northlanders.jpg|WE FIGHT THE HORDE, SINGING AND CRYING; '''VALHALLA'''! I AM COMING!!
File:Chaos marauder by artofty-d3f5hof.jpg|KHORNE!! OPEN THE GATES OF YOUR HALL!!
File:Chaos Longships.jpg|Their main method of transportation.
File:Khorne-Art.jpg|Kjarl Deathaxe and the Blood Drinkers.
File:Wulfrik_Gif.jpg.gif|Wulfrik the Wanderer on a morning stroll.
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer/Tactics/Warriors of Chaos]] - A guide on how to lead these awesome barbarians to glory and bloodshed and the notice of the [[Chaos|Gods]].
*[[Viking|Vikings]] - What they are based off. Just in case you forgot.
*[[Chaos Space Marines]] - Their 40K counterparts.
*[[Chaos]] - What did they worship again?

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer Fantasy Battle}}

{{Chaos-Champions}}

Warriors of Chaos

2022-08-03T05:09:20Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: Skaramor

[[File:All_Fear_the_Wrath_of_the_Norscans.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Vikings FTW!]]
{{topquote|To the ordinary, we are unknowable. Fallen. Corrupted. Rightly feared. You cannot understand our orgins, our motives... the dawning realisation that we are ''not'' fallen. We. Are. '''Ascended.'''|[[Archaon|Archaon the Everchosen]]}}

{{topquote|Moving up and fighting the best keeps me hungry.|Nonito Donaire}}

{{topquote|Then I saw when the Lamb broke one of the seven seals, and I heard one of the four living creatures saying as with a voice of thunder, 'Come.' I looked, and behold, a white horse, and he who sat on it had a bow; and a crown was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer.|Revelation 6:1-2}}

[[Old School Roleplaying|Remember when the followers of the Dark Gods were badass Viking warriors in awesome looking plate armour]] and weren't [[Chaos Space Marines|emo Space Marines]] under the thrall of [[Abaddon|an armless failure]]? Remember when they were led by completely fucking crazy motherfuckers who wrestled fucking Bloodthirsters to the ground as a bloody initiation ritual and rode around on chariots pulled by skinless bears and rode horses fed on human flesh and watered down with blood and had awesome beards rivalled only by Dwarfs? Pepperidge Farm remembers. These are the '''Warriors of Chaos''' (formerly '''Hordes'''), the granddaddies of all that is [[Awesome]] in the Chaos Space Marines, the original Champions of Chaos.

Additionally, every time the words "devout", "cruel", "savage", and synonyms of those show up in the following article, take a swig. I can guarantee that you will at least be drunk (unless you are, in fact, a chaos warrior yourself, in which case you would need to drink a gallon for every derp on the [[Derp]] page (enough to get 6 fully packed Yankee stadiums completely hammered, in case you're wondering)). As you should be, considering you're reading about Vikings.

==Brief Foreword==
Nostalgia aside, you can't truly call yourself a fan of Chaos or Warhammer in general without having at least a cursory knowledge of these guys. These guys are the very essence of Warhammer: baroque plate armour, skulls, Vikings, mutations, Michael Moorcock, J.R.R Tolkien, Hieronymus Bosch, H.P Lovecraft and Heavy Metal; everything that was put in together and left to boil to produce the two most grimdark settings in the history of mankind is encapsulated in these guys. The first edition of Warhammer Fantasy had one of them displayed proudly on it, for Odin's sake (the now legendary [[Harry the Hammer]], the TRUE reason why Warhammer is called Warhammer, check out Harry's new model, it kicks ass). Like it or not, these guys were what forged Warhammer for a lot of people. To this day, no game based on it feels complete without dark armoured marauding warriors of the Nordic or [[Chaos Space Marine|sci-fi]] persuasion. So read on, and see their glory in full.

'''tl;dr''': '''MOTHERFUCKING CHAOS [[Viking|VIKINGS]], MAN!!!'''

If you watch some of the Viking shit that is part of the current minor renaissance in sword-and-longboat fantasy that's been going on in television lately, like ''The Last Kingdom'', you might think that the portrayal of Vikings is not that far off. And arguably, it isn't; they got up to some pretty [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle deranged Khornate shit]. But of course, history was written by the people who they were murder-raping in the name of <s>Khorne</s>Odin. It's pretty much beyond dispute, though, that theirs was a culture very much centered upon raiding (literally what ''viking'' means, more or less) and being a badass warrior; you couldn't get to Valhalla unless you died with a weapon in hand. (Drunken accident? Old age? Getting poisoned or stabbed in the back? Too bad, it's off to Niflheim, the domain of Hel--one 'l', that's after the goddess who reigned there, and no, it wasn't hot, it was motherfucking cold.) Pretty fucking Khornate if you ask me.

They are also the only non-Imperial Guard army to have not been fucked over completely beyond all redemption by the foul [[Cruddace]].

==Fantasy Overview==
In the beginning, the Old Ones came to the Warhammer World and set about doing their crazy magical genetic engineering bullshit. Then, for whatever non-reason the Polar Gates at the top and bottom of the world that they had constructed to ward off Chaos gave out and the world was corrupted and consumed by it. Depending on who you ask, either this event is what birthed Chaos and the Chaos Gods, or they came first and helped cause it. Who knows? The Old Ones fucked off, and left races of Dwarfs and Elves and Slaan. But a fourth creation also that was not fully equipped to resist the influence of Chaos, and of course, this was Man. Mankind was unfinished, and the warpstones that flew from the Northern polar wastes caused the acceleration of physical and cultural progress and, most importantly, of the human mind. The races of men gained a vigor and fire from the power of Chaos that drove them to great heights of glory and caused them to surpass the manufactured races of the Old Ones. In many ways, the history of Chaos ''is'' the history of mankind in the Warhammer world, serving as a dark reflection of what corrupted humanity can look like, the civilized soldiers and benevolent Order Gods of the South mirrored by the barbaric warriors and the cruel, fickle Chaos Gods of the North. It was only fitting that some tribes amongst Humanity would come to worship the various Gods of Chaos, namely the best-known four of them (and a long time ago [[Chaos Gods of Law|some others that GW sadly forgot about]] and [[Malal|another they were contractually forced to forget about.]])

The most notable of these was the Norsii. who would later be feared by all of the Old World as the fierce '''Norse''', the most brutal and devout worshipers of Chaos. They were joined by their cousins as well, the brutal '''Kurgan''' of the Eastern Steppes and the squat and ferocious (yet anatomically gifted in certain areas) '''Hung'''. These are the three Great Races of Men, for it is they alone who are favored by the mighty Gods. Together, they are the Northmen, and they shall make the World tremble.

On the tabletop, the Warriors of Chaos tend to be unstoppable close combat powerhouses (as they should be, they're Vikings), with little in the way of ranged fire support. Very melee oriented, even their sorcerers can be thrown into melee and be expected to hold their own. They have very powerful magic that can be used to supplement their incredible power. They have extremely powerful Lord choices who might very well be the most powerful generic lords in the game. They have a pretty high points cost, though, so you're going to be outnumbered. On the other hand, that shouldn't bother you too much because they're badasses. The problem is that you have a predictable play style and are more or less ineffective if you can't get into melee. Movement phases are important, especially in fantasy, so think about how you move your forces. Despite it being a predictable play style, it's still easy to grasp and simple to use, which also makes the Warriors a good starting army. Also, because of the low model count since these guys have a large point cost, it doesn't cost that much by GW standards to put a good army together. So, if you like Vikings in spiky armor, get the Warriors.

==The Men of the North==
The twisted northlands of [[Norsca]] and the [[Eastern Steppes]] straddle the line between mere mortality and the realm of the immortal, for they the closest of the realms to the foul Chaos Wastes and the portal that leads to the realm of the Chaos Gods. Known as Rainsheim amongst the Norse, and a dozen other names amongst those others who dare to treat with Chaos; Northman or Southman. The power of Chaos has corrupted all the lands of the world, but as the distance from the pole decreases, the influence of Chaos increases. And so, the men of Norsca and the Kurgan realms are saturated with the power of the gods.

The men who dwell in the Northlands are, for the most part, barbarous and savage compared to those who live in the settled lands to the south. They are not physically unlike other men and, in times of peace, merchants from the Norse and Kurgan can be found trading their wares in the markets of cosmopolitan cities such as Marienburg in the west and the Hung can be found doing the same in Weijin in the east. Yet, in some other forms, they are unlike their fellows to the South. For they worship evil Gods of Blood, Decay, Scheming, and Debauchery and live brutal, primitive lives of war. Most lamentably, they all live directly under the shadow of Chaos and are slaves to its Will.

Depending on what version of the lore you go with, not all of Norsca is enthralled to Chaos. Old material mentions tribes and whole kingdoms living and coexisting with the Southlands, some even taking to worshiping other Gods like [[Ulric]]. Some of these tribes are even mentioned as fighting Chaos and trying to steer their brethren away from falling victim to it. Again, this varies quite a bit between editions and even within editions themselves.

The men of the Northlands have many different gods. Most are daemons and valorous dead or ascended Champions of Chaos deified by their tribes (a practice especially common with the Norse) or manifestations of the natural world (as is common amongst the Kurgan), but all the Northmen owe their highest worship to the Four Great Gods of Chaos, whom they readily recognize as the masters of these lesser deities. The Northmen do not think of the Chaos Gods as evil, as the superstitious men of the South are wont to. But as individuals, they are as unpredictable as mortals. Thus, the Northmen reasonably maintain that such powerful entities are beyond the moral judgment of men. It is thus every warrior's duty to honour the gods in all walks of life. Such things are self-evident. To deny the gods and not worship them would be foolish, their existence in the North is a simple fact of life; evident in the mark of Khorne proudly displayed by a Norscan marauder as he leaps from his longship to savage Imperial soldiers with his daemonic strength, or in the mark of Tzeentch borne by a Kurgan rider as he fells a Kislevite warrior with his new-found blade of bone in place of a hand. To resent this state of affairs would be like resenting the sunrise or the wind - What would it accomplish?

The Four are known by many names amongst the people of the North. Nonetheless, all the Gods are recognized by them. And it is not uncommon for the tribes to choose one god amongst them as a patron (the Norse tribes commonly take Khorne as theirs, while some tribes of the Kurgan may choose Tzeentch) - who is seen as the father and protector of their kindred. Lesser gods and daemons are also worshiped, along with great heroes peculiar to a particular tribe who are often chieftains who died such glorious deaths that they were raised to sit beside the god of their tribe in eternal glory.

Though they may seem barely civil in times of peace, the Norse, Kurgan and Hung are vicious races of bloodthirsty warriors. Used to battling amongst themselves - war is their natural state and they wage it without concern or prejudice. They rejoice in battle and strength at arms, and honour the brave of both sides while despising the cowards likewise. Yet they are willing to forget their differences when the Gods command them to fight on their behalf. For there is no greater joy than to fight and die in the armies of the immortals.

===The Daemon Norse===
{{topquote|From the harsh snowlands they come. Blond of hair they are, and blue of eye, and tattoos upon arms and face and chest. Their eyes are mad with bloodlust, for blood they thirst for, driven forth on the whims of the Gods they seek to appease. Clad in but few garments and wielding clumsy, brutal axes and maces, they rage against the civilized lands of the south, burning, pillaging, looting all before them to offer up as sacrifice to their uncaring masters beyond the gates of hell in the Northern Wastes.|The Liber Chaotica as penned by Richter Kleiss, former Priest of Sigmar}}

The Norse of Norsca are the most brutal, fierce and savage followers of the Chaos Gods in the Warhammer world. They are the tallest, most physically strong race in the Old World, raised amongst a culture that respects only strength and the ability to kill and closeness to the Primordial Gods. All of Norsca is in the thrall of Chaos, corrupting the mountainous wasteland with the essence of change that seeps not only into man and beast but the very ground itself. Mutations are so common as to be universal among the Norscans, seen as signs of blessings from the Chaos Gods. Mighty warbands prowl the mainland and the horrific mountain ranges that connects the lands of the Norse to the Chaos Wastes. The seas about Norsca are filled with massive longships mastered by the terrible Chaos Champions and their kinsmen who stride the seas searching for either artefacts, purchase by which they may wage war against the weak southlings as demanded by their Gods, or merely any other ship to vent their rage upon. When the call to war is given, the Norse are always at the forefront, tearing down all opposition and cleaving the way into the weak lands of Sigmar. The Norse are always on the warpath, launching continuous and brutal sea raids upon the heavily fortified coast of the Northern Empire and northern Kislev.

It should come as little surprise that the Norsemen are the most fiercely devout followers of Khorne, the God of War. And it is from the Norse that the majority of Khorne's followers are derived. Many Norse Champions of Chaos go on to be the most favored of Khorne's warriors; Cormac Bloodaxe, Scyla Anfingrimm, Hogan Headhacker, Haargroth the Blooded, Arbaal the Undefeated, Valmir Aesling, Hrothgar Daemonaxe, Urlfdaemonkin -- all savage Norse warriors who have risen to pre-eminence in the eyes of the Blood God. In fact, Khorne's own consort, Valkia the Bloody, has risen from the brutal clans of the Norse.

With such a track record, it was obvious that the Imperials would deny any idea that the Norse are even remotely human. Most theories tend to focus on their favour from the Dark Gods and use that as the bedrock for all kinds of claims. Due to them being incredibly strong, very tall and all warriors (at least, all those encountered commonly by the Imperials are such) and devoted to the Dark Gods, Imperials have come to the conclusions that the Norse are a race of superhumans, or that they are daemons shaped as men, or are half-giants. The truth, shaded in the fantastic as it is, is still more interesting.

Contrary to what the Imperials historians zealously claim; they are not the first ones to settle in the Reik basin. Even the Bretonnians and the Nehekharans have held a portion of the land that would later become the heart of the Empire, and the ancestors of the Norse were no different. Known as the Norsii, their ancestral homeland was indeed the frozen Wastes of Norsca. But some of their kinsmen migrated South to the lands that would become part of the Empire. The Norsii were ever the mighty and favored warriors of Chaos, as their descendants are. They were prone to waging bloody and terrible war upon the southern tribes, particularly the Udoses, Teutogens and Roppsmenn. The Norsii's reign of terror was only stopped by the hosts of the southlings gathering to drive them back to their frozen homeland. But from there they would rejoin their kinsmen who still dwelt in the North and return to continue their depredations. It was only Sigmar himself who managed to finally drive the Norsii hordes from the Empire. And only barely. It is a telling thing that the first defeat Sigmar ever suffered came at hands of the vicious Norsmen, led by the ancient Chaos Lord of Khorne: Cormac Bloodaxe.

The Norse are amongst the most fearsome and most devoted warriors of Chaos, but they are also devoted to their tribal affiliations. The tribe forms the very core of the Norse identity, as they are not a unified people by any means, and thus have no concept of nationality. A Norscan will never call himself such. He will identify himself based on tribe and parentage. A Varg will see his loyalties extend only to his immediate tribe and to a much lesser extent, others under the same confederation. After all, even amongst the various so called High Tribes, multitudes of lesser tribes and families will exist. For instance, under the Aesling High Tribe, there exists many other lesser clans owing allegiance to it; such as the Gorehunt, the Snaegr, Skrae and Untam. The various Norscan clans are divided into two main blocks for easy reference based on geography; the Northern tribes and the Southern tribes.

===The Northern Norscan Tribes===
*'''[[Aeslings]]''': The most dreaded and terrifying and powerful of the Norse High Tribes are the Aeslings. They are the most savage and brutal men of Norsca. Even among the other Northernmost Northman tribes they are held in fear. Only favour from the Gods and strength and excellence at arms are valued. [[Grimdark|Thus, they are a people who respect only strength and infants who do not measure to their standards of physical perfection are murdered outright with little fuss.]] While reprehensible, this combined with their constant warfare on others has forged a race who are undoubtedly some of the greatest warriors of all the Northmen. Amongst the Aesling tribes, it is [[Khorne]] who is worshiped above all other Gods and it is not uncommon for tribes to dedicate themselves solely to him. For even amongst the Norsemen, the Aeslings are a people who thrive on war. While one Champion of Chaos may master a crew of marauders who bring ruination on Erengrad or Nordland, another might lead his people in slaughtering the Norse Dwarfs or even their own Norse kinsmen. Even the Kurgans to the east are not safe from the Aeslings' reckless thirst for death, for it is often that an Aesling Jarl will lead his murderous kinsmen in preying upon the many roving Kurgan tribes, slaughtering them and offering up their lives to the vicious Chaos Gods. Their lust for killing has won them no friends, what few allies they have are bound to them by only fear and intimidation, for much like the god they worship, the Aes care not whence the blood flows.

*'''[[Vargs]]''': Another Northern tribe. The Vargs are the most twisted in body and soul of the Norse; they claim the Northern tundras as their lands and fought many horrific beasts to claim it, such as giants, beastmen and daemons of Chaos. They have managed to domesticate the fearsome mammoths of that area, and will often bear them to battle as beasts of war. The Vargs have a blood hatred of the Kurgans that dates backs to untold stretches of ancient history. Time has done little to dampen their hate, and they often mount massive raids into the Kurgan lands, which are joined by Aesling mercenaries, that wreak great devastation of the men of the Eastern Steppes. The Vargs are also dedicated warriors of Khorne, like the Aeslings, and are viciously devoted to his creed of death. The Vargs are said to have come from distant lands and settled in Norsca, led by their greatest and most legendary chieftain; a mighty Chaos Lord of Khorne known as Hrothgar Daemonaxe, who led them in conquering land and enslaving weaker tribes. Hrothgar later went deeper into the realms of the Gods and ascended to Daemonhood. The Vargs know Khorne by the name of ''Arkhar''. One day, a band of horny Varg maraduers decided to trouble the southerners. So, they travelled from all the way from northernmost part of Norsca to Nordland, hellbent on giving them a huuge trouble. And they did. One of these maraduers saw a random fisherman's beautiful wife and thought ''By the [[Slaanesh|Serpent]], that woman is hot. I am going to [[Rape|have fun]] with her.'' [[Grimdark|So he did]]. The result was the birth of a certain devout Templar Knight of Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb. What was his name? His name was [[Archaon|Diederick Kastnar]]. Sounds familiar? This makes the Vargs indirectly responsible for the [[Rage|destruction of Warhammer World]]. In the video game [[Total War: WARHAMMER]], they have a faction up in the Northern Norsca led by a chieftain named Surtha ''[[Meme|'''"BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION!"''']]'' Ek, who is known for slaughtering Southerners with the use of massive chariot tactics.

*'''[[Graelings]]''': The last of the Northern Norse tribes and the most westerly of the Norse, close to Elven lands and prone to raiding those places. They come into conflict with Dark Elven corsairs frequently and the terror of the villages and fortresses of Klar Karond. Though it is also said that when they are not killing them, the Graelings sell slaves culled from the southern lands and Ulthuan to the Dark Elves. They do not gravitate to one Chaos God over another, but are, like most Northman tribes, prone to celebrating Chaos in all its glory. Haargroth the Blooded rose up from this tribe.

===The Southern Norscan Tribes===
*'''[[Skaelings]]''': Sea raiders without equal, the Skaelings are perhaps [[Ork Kommando|the most cunning of the Norse]]. They are the closest of the Chaos worshipers to the southern lands, so it is not uncommon to find them raiding the South. During the Storm of Chaos, Skaeling sea-raiders were utilized to great effectiveness by the Lord of the End Times in harrying and diverting the fleets of Brettonia and Nordland. In addition to their veneration of the Chaos Gods, the Skaelings also worship another daemonic deity known as Mermedus, who some Imperial theologians consider to be a Norscan interpretation of Manann. Though there is little in common with the mighty Imperial sea-god and the abominable daemon the Skaelings make human sacrifices to. Others have considered Mermedus to be the Chaotic reflection of Stromfells, another ill-tempered deity of the sea. interestingly, their name is not a reference to the Vikings themselves, but to the people who lived around the north American colony of vinland, who they called the Skrælings. So the Skaelings may not be chaos Vikings, but rather Chaos Inuit.

*'''[[Baersonlings]]''': A people who would not be odd living in the North of Norsca, the Baersonlings are tireless reavers who are proud of their martial prowess, which is truthfully legendary even amongst the Northmen. Though they are not quite as strong and fierce as the Aeslings, they war with them frequently. Their relations with the Kurgan tribes is similarly icy, and their lands often stretch into the fringes of the Eastern Steppes, which invites war. Not that this disturbs the Baersonlings, war is just another way to glorify the Chaos Gods. They are known for their copious body hair and a strange Chaos mutation that transforms them into unstoppable bear-like monstrosities. Beorg Bearstruck, a powerful Champion of Chaos, and his marauder tribe, the Bearmen of Urslo, are descended from this strain of the Norse nation.

*'''[[Sarls]]''': The Sarls are rugged barbarian warriors. Mighty and indomitable and devoted to the Dark Powers, they have distinguished themselves in the armies of the Chaos Gods often. Wulfrik the Wanderer, one of the greatest Champions of Chaos and executioner of the Chaos Gods rose from these people. The Sarl also destroyed the last and most terrible of the treeblood, using the bark harvested from the creature to create the second ''Seafang'' of [[Wulfrik the Wanderer|Wulfrik]] after the first was lost in a raid on the Elves. Oh and this clan was destroyed after Wulfrik fucked it up by killing the chieftain son and rival clan puppet leader to once again incite the civil war between the two.

*'''[[The Hobbit|Bjorn]]lings''': Little is known of this tribe. But among them are the Crow Brothers, devout warriors of Nurgle.

*'''[[Rotbloods]]''': A tribe of Nurgle worshippers, mentioned in [[Vermintide]] and an enemy faction in the sequel. A tribe driven to such desperation that they not only primarily worship Nurgle (rare for Norscans) but even thought it would be smart to [[derp|ally with]] [[Skaven]]. The champion Bovarr Ribspreader leads their war parties in the south. Thanks to the Skaven created Skittergate, they got to give Helmsgart an early preview of the End Times during the fighting, though they got smashed in [[Vermintide 2]] and Bödvarr was cut down.

===Famous Norse Chaos Champions===
"''I pity you and all the world, for amongst all the races of men, the gods favour we Norse alone''."

*'''[[Morkar the Uniter]]''': The First Everchosen of Chaos; Morkar was the survivor of an Imperial raid upon his village in the aftermath of the defeat of Cormac Bloodaxe's horde at the gates of Middenheim. He rose up to become the greatest Champion of Chaos of his generation and united the Norse tribes in his quest to gain the mark of the gods. He reaped many great conquests and honour and fear were heaped upon his name. No foe could withstand his rage in battle and no enemy was beyond his keen mind to defeat. Eventually, he was crowned as the Eternal Conqueror of the Gods by Be'lakor and led the vengeful Norsemen and their Kurgan allies in unmaking the decadent Empire. He was only defeated narrowly in single combat with Sigmar himself (pre retcon it was Aenarion who killed him). After his death, his body was taken by his kinsmen and buried in a great cairn in the Chaos Wastes. A sliver of Morkar's spirit remained in the armour long after his death, left to brood over his defeat and to forever curse the name of the cowardly Sigmar who derailed his great conquest by his craven single combat. (Let it never be said that, whatever his badass credentials, Morkar was NOT a sore loser.) Morkar the Uniter's rest was disturbed millennia after by his successor, Archaon, who sought the legendary indestructible armour of the First Everchosen in his quest for the 6 Treasures of Chaos; even in death, Morkar was too great for the Lord of the End Times to defeat in open battle. It was only by shouting a curse in the long dead tongue of the Unberogen tribe, the people of Sigmar, that Archaon was able to immobilize the reanimated armour of the dead Champion and defeat it, casting the last part of his spirit back to the Realm of Chaos and take the legendary armour for his own. To this day, Morkar's Chaos plate protects the Lord of the End Times, granting him the same incredible invulnerability as it did its former wearer.

*'''[[Cormac Bloodaxe]]''': One of the first great leaders of the Warriors of Chaos, and the first Champion of Chaos to be possessed by a greater daemon of Khorne. Cormac Bloodaxe, son of Varag Skulltaker, witnessed the rout of his people at the hand of the tyrant Sigmar. Though the Norsii fought fiercely and slew many despite their small numbers, Sigmar's forces were too numerous and his strange war-machines burned away the proud longships that carried the Norsemen in bringing ruination and desolation to the enemies of the Dark Gods of the North. The Norsii returned to their ancestral homeland of Norsca, and a molten core of hate and violence began to burn in Cormac's heart, which would lead him to becoming the greatest Chosen of Khorne and a force of such might and power that would reunite the tribes of Norsca into an unstoppable host that would crush the Empire of Sigmar. With the aid of the Norsii sorcerer, Kar Odacen, Cormac did bind the Norse tribes to his banner, reclaimed the ancient Chaos armour of his father, and bound a great daemon of Khorne to his axe. The eastern tribes of the Kurgan and Hung also prostrated themselves to the Norseman's banner and pledged their lives to his glory. Cormac's leadership saw the first decisive defeat the Imperials ever suffered, he had managed to match wits with Sigmar and defeated him utterly. At the behest of his sorcerer, Cormac was led to invade the City of the White Wolf. In spite of his better judgement which said to instead surround the city and isolate and pick off Sigmar's reinforcements from other southern tribes. Yet, Cormac was leader of the Norsii by the will of the Gods alone, and the Gods willed him to end the Empire with one fell stroke. Cormac's superior Norse warriors, drunk on the blessings of the Dark Gods, and strengthened with armies of daemons and beastmen assaulted Middenheim and victory was near. On the counsel of his shaman, Cormac offered himself up to become the sacrifice necessary to bring forth a Bloodthirster to break the final defenses of Middenheim. The Bloodthirster crossed blades with Sigmar and cast him down, readying for the killing stroke until Ulric himself intervened and cast the daemon into the Realm of Chaos. The Norsii later fled back to Norsca with this setback.

*'''[[Hrothgar Daemonaxe]]''': A great Chaos Lord dedicated to Khorne, first chieftain of the Vargs, and said to be as powerful as a mighty Bloodthirster in battle. It was Hrothgar who led the Vargs out from the East to settle the northern tundras of Norsca, destroying and enslaving weaker tribes of Norse and Kurgan on the way. Bearing a great daemonic battleaxe forged in the visage of a howling wolf, Hrothgar's favour from Arkhar the Wolf (the Varg name for Khorne) was clear. After his many victories were completed, he went to the Chaos Wastes and ascended to Daemonhood. To this day, Hrothgar Daemonaxe is venerated by all Vargs as a lesser deity of Chaos. And is believed to stand at the right hand of Khorne where he sternly judges the exploits of his people.

*'''[[Valmir Aesling]]''': King of the Aesling tribes, one time ally to Asavar Kul, self styled 'Emperor of Chaos' and bane of the Norse Dwarfs. Valmir Aesling was a ruthless and efficient leader of Men. Brooding and silent, save for the occasional and invariably fatal burst of temper. He was feared and renowned for punishing any insolence or slight with the most horrific tortures imaginable. When Asavar Kul was slain at the gates of Kislev (and there are rumours that Valmir himself might have done the deed, for a jagged blade was found impaled in Kul's skull), Valmir was fighting a secret, but no less bloody war against the Norse Dwarf holds. Valmir despised all the races of the Old World, except his own, and thus had long desired the destruction of the Dwarfs that hid in the southern mountains around his homeland of Norsca. Valmir swore an oath to Khorne: he would not rest until he had destroyed the Dwarfs by cutting out the heart of their nation, the hold of Kraka Drak. Valmir's Norse warriors faced the Dwarfs and soon both were locked in a vicious stalemate. But Valmir had planned the battle well, he had gained the allegiance of the Khornate Daemon Prince Aghask, who smashed aside the Dwarf's resistance in key areas, he had gained the aid of battalions of Chaos Knights from Troll Country who crushed the Dwarfen rearguard. Valmir himself charged across the field on his Chaos Chariot, pulled by six skinless bears, slaughtering all opposition to face the Norse Dwarf High King in battle. Valmir threw the severed heads of his champions before him and challenged him to single combat. Incensed at this barbarous affront to his people's honour, the Dwarf King accepted the Norse Lord's challenge. Both armies held their breath as their lords faced one another in a mighty duel. Though Valmir was more than thrice the Dwarf's height, he found himself evenly matched against the ancient, doughty king. Seeing that he could not defeat the Norse King, the Dwarf Lord shouted one word; ''"cannons!"''. Thus, did the Dwarfs fire the great canons of Kraka Drak, shattering the Norse Chaos Warriors and entombing both them and thousands of Dwarfs until the collapsed ruin of what was once the mightiest of the northern Dwarf cities. Both Valmir and the Dwarf King had fallen, slain not by each other's steel, but by snow and stone. Yet, the hold was indeed no more, and underneath the ruins, the hardened Norsemen continued on, methodically slaughtering the remaining Dwarfs. Valmir, albeit posthumously, had upheld his grim oath.

*'''[[Wulfrik the Wanderer]]''': Perhaps the greatest warrior to rise up from the Sarl tribes is Wulfrik the Wanderer, whose name is spoken in fearful whispers. Once a champion of Chaos Undivided amongst the Sarls who thwarted the armies of a great Aesling tribe and slew their king, a mighty Champion of Chaos known as Torgald, Wulfrik had made a drunken boast at the battle's end that he was greater than any warrior in this world or the next. After passing out from quaffing no less than 7 barrels of mead, Wulfrik found his dreams visited by an emissary of the Dark Gods he worshiped. The emissary told Wulfrik that the gods were displeased with his boastful tongue, but had seen fit to allow him to prove his arrogant words. When he awoke, Wulfrik found he had been marked by not one, but all of the four great gods of Chaos, and his tongue was re-shaped into a flitting, forked thing that allowed him to speak in any language. Wulfrik claimed his legendary longship, the Seafang, from the hoard of a Skaeling Chaos Sorceror who he slew in combat. From then on, Wulfrik would be known as the Inescapable One, travelling the hinterlands of the world to slay the fiercest creatures at the whims of the gods. Wulfrik is perhaps one of the greatest warriors in all the world, for he has slaughtered giants, dragons and merwyrms like cattle and even daemons have cowed before him and begged his mercy. He is the Executioner of the Chaos Gods, and is one of their most devout followers. To Khorne he offers up the skulls of those he has slain, to Slaanesh he gives their still-beating hearts, to Nurgle the contents of their slit guts, and Tzeentch he honours with their final breath.

*'''[[Valkia the Bloody]]''': The Sword-Maiden of the Blood God, the Bringer of Glory, the Chooser of the Slain and the Gorequeen of the Norse. Valkia is Khorne's servant who carries the spirits of worthy warriors so that they may fight on forever in the Blood God's Halls. The sagas of her people tell that she was once a mortal woman, a Norse queen of the ancient and long-dead Schwarzvolf tribe. She gained the favour of Khorne by slaying any who dared contest her claim in honourable battle and also by defeating the Champions of the lesser Chaos Gods. Foremost amongst these was Locephax, a daemon prince of Slaanesh who sought to enslave the warrior-queen. Valkia felt the berserker rage come upon her and she took up her great spear Slaupnir and struck down the daemon and affixed its severed head to her shield. Valkia then traveled to the uttermost North of the world and, with the fanaticism of the true believer, pledged herself utterly to the Axefather. Valkia almost succeeded in coming before her beloved god's throne, but was slain like countless others in the twisted hellscape of the realm of Chaos. Khorne was displeased, for he had great plans for the woman, and his bellowing fury was so thunderous that it shook the world and roused Valkia from death. Khorne was angry with her weak mortal form and remade her into a being more pleasing to him. A true vision of destructive power: great bloody wings tore out from her once shapely back, her legs were refashioned into those of a bloodletter and massive horns rose from her skull. Her only purpose now is to reap more skulls for her mighty lord and to choose the valorous Norsemen dedicated to Khorne who fall fight on at their god's side in the Realm of Chaos 'till his rage devours all that exists. When Valkia takes to the mortal skies, all the Norse tribes dedicated to Khorne march under her shadow, for they know that she will carry them to the realms beyond to be Khorne's chosen in the afterlife, a prize beyond all measure. Where she flies, whole lands are drenched in blood. Such is the power Khorne has granted her.

*'''[[Scyla Anfingrimm]]''': The Saga of the Gorebeast is a long and terrifying one amongst the savage Norse clans, the fame of the Talon of Khorne lives long in the songs sung by the Skalds of many a Norscan meadhall and in the terrified ramblings of those few Imperials who have born witness to the unstoppable fury of Scyla and survived. Tales told of a hulking beast the colour of blood who wears a massive bronze collar and is festooned with the blasphemous ritual marks of Khorne, and who lays low all who stand against him with its unquenchable thirst for death. Yet, it was not always so. For the greatest of Khorne's [[Chaos Spawn]] was once a man, '''once a man, ONCESSSSE A MAAAANNRGABLFARBLLEHC--'''--ahem--was once one of his greatest and most fearsome champions. Scyla Anfingrimm was the bane of the Old World from his homeland of frozen Norsca to the shores of distant Ind, his name synonymous with victory, slaughter and pillage. As a man, Scyla was marked by Khorne and elevated into the highest echelons of the god's favour; earning not only the respect of his tribesmen but all the raiders of the neighboring fjords. It was Scyla who single-handedly laid low the fearsome Jabberwock that plagued the River Voltag, and it was Scyla's daemonic greatsword that destroyed the tentacled beast that ruled the Bay of Blades. Every spring, he and his marauders would take to their longships and slaughter their way through the Empire, through Bretonnia and even as far south of Khemri. Returning from their raids drunk on blood and glory, the hulls of their ships filled to bursting with ancient treasures and slaves ready to be thrown upon sacrificial pyres dedicated to Khorne. The people of the Ironpelt would often chatter about how Scyla would soon ascend to daemonhood. They were right in a sense. After orchestrating the Massacre of Black Gulch, which caused the great chasm to run red with Skaven blood, Scyla was gifted with even greater physical strength and massive ape-like arms infused with the power of Chaos. Thanking the Axefather for his blessing, Scyla launched daring raids against the war-dhows of Dhuli armada, personally reducing their great flagship to splinters. This time, he was gifted a serpentine tail ending with a snapping maw. Scyla's merciless killing of the Chaos Dwarf delegation sent to trade with his tribe resulted in a great profusion of horn-like plates covering his mighty frame. After single-handedly annihilating the bestial Gorgers of the Undermountain, Khorne was so pleased with Scyla's might that he gifted the Champion with the mind of a ravenous beast. With that, Scyla's body spiraled out of control. His transformation into a Chaos Spawn was complete '''NO!!! GRISHIISOSKS'''. That day, Scyla fell from a feared and far-famed warlord. His warband fell to the leadership of his second-in-command and next most favoured of Khorne; Erlock One-Eye. Scyla was still afforded the same respect and honour from his companions, arguably moreso, for now he was a living sacrament to Khorne's power and might. Unlike other Chaos Spawn '''Not Again! GRAAAGH!''', Scyla remains the favoured of Khorne; a testament to his greatness in his former life. Scyla exists as he did before, only to fight and slaughter for the pleasure of his fearsome god. His destiny is only to mete out death against those foolish enough to face him.

*'''[[Sigvald|Sigvald the Magnificent]]''': Chaos Lord [[A Song of Ice and Fire|Joffrey]]. Though he appears no more than a boy of sixteen, Sigvald the Magnificent has blighted the Old World for three centuries. The inbred child of a great Norse Chaos Lord and his own sister, Sigvald was spoiled with all he ever wished, it was only after his cannibalistic tendencies were revealed that the tribe forced him out. Feigning dismay, Sigvald sneaked into the longhouse and murdered his own father while he slept, fleeing then to the Chaos Wastes. The personification of beauty on the outside, but as horrifying as the lowest Spawn on the inside, Sigvald rides as Geld-Prince of the Decadent Host; an army of amorous madwomen and men who seek to attend his every debased whim. Marked by the Prince of Excess and gifted with Sliverslash, a blade forged from a sliver of the Sword of Slaanesh, it is clear to all that Sigvald the Magnificent is the greatest Champion of Slaanesh to walk the world. Recently tried to kill all the high Elves on the grounds that they must die for having better hair than him. (Seriously, this guy is pretty much Joffrey from [[A Song of Ice and Fire]]; both were born from brother-sister incest, both are handsome blonde men, both are arrogant and morally repulsive [[That Guy|shits]]. The difference is Sigvald is still alive and even more [[Grimdark]])

*'''[[Vilitch the Curseling]]''': Once upon a time, two twins were born. One of them was Thomin, a well-liked, well-built man who was a great warrior and whom everyone expected to become a great leader. The other was Vilitch, a twisted, decrepit freak whom everyone beat up and could only scrape by as some sorcerer's apprentice. Needless to say, Vilitch hated this setup and prayed to [[Tzeentch]] for him to switch the twins' destinies. Then, one Geheimnisnacht, the big bird answered and merged the twins together. Vilitch was now fused to Thomin's body and as a result became far smarter and more magically adept while Thomin became reduced to a braindead brute. The twin-abomination then decided to use this newfound power to murder all the people who made fun of him and used his magic to mentally enslave the mightiest warriors of his tribe.

*'''[[Festus the Leechlord]]''': Doctor, plaguemaster, and one of [[Nurgle]]'s favorite guys. Originally a good Nordland doctor who knew everything about how to cure diseases. He was then driven to insanity when he found himself incapable of curing a certain plague that swept the lands and in desperation, made a pact with the plague god in order to learn the knowledge needed to cure it. Sure, he got that knowledge, but he also turned so insane that he stopped caring about curing things and began a life of testing out all sorts of diseases and being a generally sick sack of shit (as most Nurglites are wont to). So he became basically the Dr Mengele of the Old World.

*'''[[Dragon Ogres|Kholek Suneater]]''': A FUCKING HUGE 4 legged dragon Ogre. He is a massive Beast armed with a HUUUGE THUNDER HAMMER who can crush dragons. He was a living battering ram who also managed to crush bloodthirsters.

===The Kurgan Tribes===

Not much is known about Kurgans, because they're generally overlooked by GW in favor of their Norscan brothers. Their location points to being Chaos Mongols. There is still some information, however:

*'''Khazags''': They're known as the guys who had first tamed the War Mammoths. [[Games Workshop|Creatively named after Kazakh nation.]]
*'''Dolgans''': [[That Guy|That Guys]] of Kurgan. They hate every other Chaos-affiliated tribe as much as the southerners and prefer to kill everyone who isn't Dolgan on sight. Some of them, thankfully, managed to avoid the Gods' corruption and now live in [[Kislev]], though their population is declining.
*'''[[Space Wolves|Iron Wolves]]''': An interesting tribe, because it's only partially Kurgan. These furries also have a Norse ancestry, descending from the vikings whose asses were kicked by [[Sigmar]] so hard they had to run to the [[Eastern Steppes]]. They are resented by both ancestral tribes and generally think of themselves as independent people.
*'''[[Asavar Kul|Kul]]''': Yeah, those Kul. They're probably the strongest Kurgan tribe that constantly raids the shit out of the neighbours and have a well-developed slavery system. They're also interesting for their complicated religious views, as they do not swear themselves to one of [[Chaos Gods|four major Gods]], instead [[Chaos Undivided|praying to hundred gods and seeking the favor of all of them.]] [[Black Legion|So, pretty much these guys.]] [[Asavar Kul]], Zar of the Kul, was the twelfth Everchosen of Chaos who fought during the [[Great War Against Chaos]] leading the Chaos forces. After Asavar died, his successor was usurped and murdered by [[Vardek Crom]], who is the current Zar.
*'''Tahmaks''', '''Tokmars''', '''Yusak''' etc.: really minor tribes that are barely mentioned in the lore.

===The Kurgan Characters===

*'''The Great Kurgan''': [[Jaghatai Khan|Genghis Khan]] of Kurgans who is only mentioned in [[Tamurkhan: Throne of Chaos]] supplements. He did the unthinkable and managed to unite all of the tribes, creating a truly gigantic empire that managed to beat Hung, [[Hobgoblin|Hobgoblins]] and [[Cathay]]. [[Awesome|Impressive.]] He was also the first Kurgan chieftain to make a deal with [[Chaos]] to get their power on his side, though eventually they fucked him over.
*'''Asavar Kul''': [[Gets shit done|gets shit done]]. Managed to cripple [[Kislev]] for centuries way before both [[Archaon]] and [[Abaddon|Failbaddon]] even managed to do something meaningful. Has his own [[Asavar Kul|page]].
*'''Tamurkhan''': a [[Nurgle|Nurglite]] warrior riding a toad, who is a protagonist of the narrative-driven campaign of the same name. Has his own [[Tamurkhan|page]].
*'''Surtha Lenk''': minor [[Tzeench|Tzeenchite]] warlord and the commander of [[Archaon|Archaon's]] vanguard. Took part in destruction of [[Kislev]] and [[Ostland]] during the [[End Times]].
*'''Vardek Crom''': current Kul chieftain (Zar) and the Herald of Everchosen. Has his own [[Vardek Crom|page]].

=== The Hung ===
{{topquote|Them Kurgan is bad. But the Hung, they jus’ nasty.|Gorg, famous [[Ogre Kingdoms|Ogre]] Philosopher}}

{{topquote|We make deal, yes? You give us gold and women, we no attack. You not give enough gold or women, so we attack. We attack anyway. We make deal, yes?|Average Hung diplomat, showing that even [[The Beast|some orks]] from the [[Warhammer 40,000|different setting]] are better in negotiations than them}}
The least described [[Chaos]] race, mainly for three reasons: they operate in [[Naggaroth]] and [[Eastern Lands]], and the incursions in those regions are described only in the short sentences of some backstory fluff; they're similar to their Kurgan brothers in almost everything; and finally, they're a [[Hobgoblin|pretty negative Mongolian stereotype]], although the fact they're also located in northwestern Naggaroth also could paint then as Chaos Inuits as well, and [[Games Workshop|GW]] certainly doesn't want another [[Pygmies (Warhammer Fantasy)|Pygmies]].

Overall, from what we can gather Hungs are savages and barbarians to the extreme: while previous Chaos races at least have some sort of society and culture, these people only exist to [[RIP AND TEAR|kill, slaughter, rape and fight]]. All they need is a woolen tent, a [[Choppa|choppa]] and a steed. Seriously, their love for <s>horses</s> ponies can only be rivaled by [[Bretonnia|Bretonnians]] (so... Chaos Bretonnians?). Another faction which they resemble are [[Skaven]]: Hungs are insanely backstabby and have no honor at all, to the point that "A Word of Hung" in [[Cathay]] means a "Worthless Promise". Hell, they even abuse the dogs that they use for hunting. [[That Guy|Bastards]]. Oh, and they're cannibals.

With that being said, what do we have in the end? The Hung are insanely evil barbarians that have no respect for anyone or anything and are hated by every other faction (including fellow Chaos Warriors). They have no redeeming qualities and rival Skaven for being the most evil race in the entire game. So, it's probably good that GW downplayed them severely.

Despite their name, they don't seem to favour Slaanesh more than any other Chaos God.

===The Tong===
Besides Norscans, Kurgans, and Hung, there are also the Tong. The Tong are the Chaos Warrior people who lives closest to the entrance to the Realm of Chaos, and as such are the most mentally fucked up and physically mutated of the lot. Complete and utter psycho berserkers, they are featured in Total War Warhammer as being lead by a Chaos Champion named "Ragnar".

===Skaramor===
A migratory tribe of Khorne worshippers who view non-Chaos Worshippers as unworthy of having their skulls given to Khorne, and as such limit their raids to killing members of other Chaos Warrior Tribes like Norscans, Hung, and Kurgan. The Skaramor are worth noting as they were the tribe that Scylla Amfingrimm originated from in his mortal life.

== Gallery ==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Northlanders.jpg|WE FIGHT THE HORDE, SINGING AND CRYING; '''VALHALLA'''! I AM COMING!!
File:Chaos marauder by artofty-d3f5hof.jpg|KHORNE!! OPEN THE GATES OF YOUR HALL!!
File:Chaos Longships.jpg|Their main method of transportation.
File:Khorne-Art.jpg|Kjarl Deathaxe and the Blood Drinkers.
File:Wulfrik_Gif.jpg.gif|Wulfrik the Wanderer on a morning stroll.
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer/Tactics/Warriors of Chaos]] - A guide on how to lead these awesome barbarians to glory and bloodshed and the notice of the [[Chaos|Gods]].
*[[Viking|Vikings]] - What they are based off. Just in case you forgot.
*[[Chaos Space Marines]] - Their 40K counterparts.
*[[Chaos]] - What did they worship again?

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer Fantasy Battle}}

{{Chaos-Champions}}

Warriors of Chaos

2022-08-03T05:04:24Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* The Tong */

[[File:All_Fear_the_Wrath_of_the_Norscans.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Vikings FTW!]]
{{topquote|To the ordinary, we are unknowable. Fallen. Corrupted. Rightly feared. You cannot understand our orgins, our motives... the dawning realisation that we are ''not'' fallen. We. Are. '''Ascended.'''|[[Archaon|Archaon the Everchosen]]}}

{{topquote|Moving up and fighting the best keeps me hungry.|Nonito Donaire}}

{{topquote|Then I saw when the Lamb broke one of the seven seals, and I heard one of the four living creatures saying as with a voice of thunder, 'Come.' I looked, and behold, a white horse, and he who sat on it had a bow; and a crown was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer.|Revelation 6:1-2}}

[[Old School Roleplaying|Remember when the followers of the Dark Gods were badass Viking warriors in awesome looking plate armour]] and weren't [[Chaos Space Marines|emo Space Marines]] under the thrall of [[Abaddon|an armless failure]]? Remember when they were led by completely fucking crazy motherfuckers who wrestled fucking Bloodthirsters to the ground as a bloody initiation ritual and rode around on chariots pulled by skinless bears and rode horses fed on human flesh and watered down with blood and had awesome beards rivalled only by Dwarfs? Pepperidge Farm remembers. These are the '''Warriors of Chaos''' (formerly '''Hordes'''), the granddaddies of all that is [[Awesome]] in the Chaos Space Marines, the original Champions of Chaos.

Additionally, every time the words "devout", "cruel", "savage", and synonyms of those show up in the following article, take a swig. I can guarantee that you will at least be drunk (unless you are, in fact, a chaos warrior yourself, in which case you would need to drink a gallon for every derp on the [[Derp]] page (enough to get 6 fully packed Yankee stadiums completely hammered, in case you're wondering)). As you should be, considering you're reading about Vikings.

==Brief Foreword==
Nostalgia aside, you can't truly call yourself a fan of Chaos or Warhammer in general without having at least a cursory knowledge of these guys. These guys are the very essence of Warhammer: baroque plate armour, skulls, Vikings, mutations, Michael Moorcock, J.R.R Tolkien, Hieronymus Bosch, H.P Lovecraft and Heavy Metal; everything that was put in together and left to boil to produce the two most grimdark settings in the history of mankind is encapsulated in these guys. The first edition of Warhammer Fantasy had one of them displayed proudly on it, for Odin's sake (the now legendary [[Harry the Hammer]], the TRUE reason why Warhammer is called Warhammer, check out Harry's new model, it kicks ass). Like it or not, these guys were what forged Warhammer for a lot of people. To this day, no game based on it feels complete without dark armoured marauding warriors of the Nordic or [[Chaos Space Marine|sci-fi]] persuasion. So read on, and see their glory in full.

'''tl;dr''': '''MOTHERFUCKING CHAOS [[Viking|VIKINGS]], MAN!!!'''

If you watch some of the Viking shit that is part of the current minor renaissance in sword-and-longboat fantasy that's been going on in television lately, like ''The Last Kingdom'', you might think that the portrayal of Vikings is not that far off. And arguably, it isn't; they got up to some pretty [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle deranged Khornate shit]. But of course, history was written by the people who they were murder-raping in the name of <s>Khorne</s>Odin. It's pretty much beyond dispute, though, that theirs was a culture very much centered upon raiding (literally what ''viking'' means, more or less) and being a badass warrior; you couldn't get to Valhalla unless you died with a weapon in hand. (Drunken accident? Old age? Getting poisoned or stabbed in the back? Too bad, it's off to Niflheim, the domain of Hel--one 'l', that's after the goddess who reigned there, and no, it wasn't hot, it was motherfucking cold.) Pretty fucking Khornate if you ask me.

They are also the only non-Imperial Guard army to have not been fucked over completely beyond all redemption by the foul [[Cruddace]].

==Fantasy Overview==
In the beginning, the Old Ones came to the Warhammer World and set about doing their crazy magical genetic engineering bullshit. Then, for whatever non-reason the Polar Gates at the top and bottom of the world that they had constructed to ward off Chaos gave out and the world was corrupted and consumed by it. Depending on who you ask, either this event is what birthed Chaos and the Chaos Gods, or they came first and helped cause it. Who knows? The Old Ones fucked off, and left races of Dwarfs and Elves and Slaan. But a fourth creation also that was not fully equipped to resist the influence of Chaos, and of course, this was Man. Mankind was unfinished, and the warpstones that flew from the Northern polar wastes caused the acceleration of physical and cultural progress and, most importantly, of the human mind. The races of men gained a vigor and fire from the power of Chaos that drove them to great heights of glory and caused them to surpass the manufactured races of the Old Ones. In many ways, the history of Chaos ''is'' the history of mankind in the Warhammer world, serving as a dark reflection of what corrupted humanity can look like, the civilized soldiers and benevolent Order Gods of the South mirrored by the barbaric warriors and the cruel, fickle Chaos Gods of the North. It was only fitting that some tribes amongst Humanity would come to worship the various Gods of Chaos, namely the best-known four of them (and a long time ago [[Chaos Gods of Law|some others that GW sadly forgot about]] and [[Malal|another they were contractually forced to forget about.]])

The most notable of these was the Norsii. who would later be feared by all of the Old World as the fierce '''Norse''', the most brutal and devout worshipers of Chaos. They were joined by their cousins as well, the brutal '''Kurgan''' of the Eastern Steppes and the squat and ferocious (yet anatomically gifted in certain areas) '''Hung'''. These are the three Great Races of Men, for it is they alone who are favored by the mighty Gods. Together, they are the Northmen, and they shall make the World tremble.

On the tabletop, the Warriors of Chaos tend to be unstoppable close combat powerhouses (as they should be, they're Vikings), with little in the way of ranged fire support. Very melee oriented, even their sorcerers can be thrown into melee and be expected to hold their own. They have very powerful magic that can be used to supplement their incredible power. They have extremely powerful Lord choices who might very well be the most powerful generic lords in the game. They have a pretty high points cost, though, so you're going to be outnumbered. On the other hand, that shouldn't bother you too much because they're badasses. The problem is that you have a predictable play style and are more or less ineffective if you can't get into melee. Movement phases are important, especially in fantasy, so think about how you move your forces. Despite it being a predictable play style, it's still easy to grasp and simple to use, which also makes the Warriors a good starting army. Also, because of the low model count since these guys have a large point cost, it doesn't cost that much by GW standards to put a good army together. So, if you like Vikings in spiky armor, get the Warriors.

==The Men of the North==
The twisted northlands of [[Norsca]] and the [[Eastern Steppes]] straddle the line between mere mortality and the realm of the immortal, for they the closest of the realms to the foul Chaos Wastes and the portal that leads to the realm of the Chaos Gods. Known as Rainsheim amongst the Norse, and a dozen other names amongst those others who dare to treat with Chaos; Northman or Southman. The power of Chaos has corrupted all the lands of the world, but as the distance from the pole decreases, the influence of Chaos increases. And so, the men of Norsca and the Kurgan realms are saturated with the power of the gods.

The men who dwell in the Northlands are, for the most part, barbarous and savage compared to those who live in the settled lands to the south. They are not physically unlike other men and, in times of peace, merchants from the Norse and Kurgan can be found trading their wares in the markets of cosmopolitan cities such as Marienburg in the west and the Hung can be found doing the same in Weijin in the east. Yet, in some other forms, they are unlike their fellows to the South. For they worship evil Gods of Blood, Decay, Scheming, and Debauchery and live brutal, primitive lives of war. Most lamentably, they all live directly under the shadow of Chaos and are slaves to its Will.

Depending on what version of the lore you go with, not all of Norsca is enthralled to Chaos. Old material mentions tribes and whole kingdoms living and coexisting with the Southlands, some even taking to worshiping other Gods like [[Ulric]]. Some of these tribes are even mentioned as fighting Chaos and trying to steer their brethren away from falling victim to it. Again, this varies quite a bit between editions and even within editions themselves.

The men of the Northlands have many different gods. Most are daemons and valorous dead or ascended Champions of Chaos deified by their tribes (a practice especially common with the Norse) or manifestations of the natural world (as is common amongst the Kurgan), but all the Northmen owe their highest worship to the Four Great Gods of Chaos, whom they readily recognize as the masters of these lesser deities. The Northmen do not think of the Chaos Gods as evil, as the superstitious men of the South are wont to. But as individuals, they are as unpredictable as mortals. Thus, the Northmen reasonably maintain that such powerful entities are beyond the moral judgment of men. It is thus every warrior's duty to honour the gods in all walks of life. Such things are self-evident. To deny the gods and not worship them would be foolish, their existence in the North is a simple fact of life; evident in the mark of Khorne proudly displayed by a Norscan marauder as he leaps from his longship to savage Imperial soldiers with his daemonic strength, or in the mark of Tzeentch borne by a Kurgan rider as he fells a Kislevite warrior with his new-found blade of bone in place of a hand. To resent this state of affairs would be like resenting the sunrise or the wind - What would it accomplish?

The Four are known by many names amongst the people of the North. Nonetheless, all the Gods are recognized by them. And it is not uncommon for the tribes to choose one god amongst them as a patron (the Norse tribes commonly take Khorne as theirs, while some tribes of the Kurgan may choose Tzeentch) - who is seen as the father and protector of their kindred. Lesser gods and daemons are also worshiped, along with great heroes peculiar to a particular tribe who are often chieftains who died such glorious deaths that they were raised to sit beside the god of their tribe in eternal glory.

Though they may seem barely civil in times of peace, the Norse, Kurgan and Hung are vicious races of bloodthirsty warriors. Used to battling amongst themselves - war is their natural state and they wage it without concern or prejudice. They rejoice in battle and strength at arms, and honour the brave of both sides while despising the cowards likewise. Yet they are willing to forget their differences when the Gods command them to fight on their behalf. For there is no greater joy than to fight and die in the armies of the immortals.

===The Daemon Norse===
{{topquote|From the harsh snowlands they come. Blond of hair they are, and blue of eye, and tattoos upon arms and face and chest. Their eyes are mad with bloodlust, for blood they thirst for, driven forth on the whims of the Gods they seek to appease. Clad in but few garments and wielding clumsy, brutal axes and maces, they rage against the civilized lands of the south, burning, pillaging, looting all before them to offer up as sacrifice to their uncaring masters beyond the gates of hell in the Northern Wastes.|The Liber Chaotica as penned by Richter Kleiss, former Priest of Sigmar}}

The Norse of Norsca are the most brutal, fierce and savage followers of the Chaos Gods in the Warhammer world. They are the tallest, most physically strong race in the Old World, raised amongst a culture that respects only strength and the ability to kill and closeness to the Primordial Gods. All of Norsca is in the thrall of Chaos, corrupting the mountainous wasteland with the essence of change that seeps not only into man and beast but the very ground itself. Mutations are so common as to be universal among the Norscans, seen as signs of blessings from the Chaos Gods. Mighty warbands prowl the mainland and the horrific mountain ranges that connects the lands of the Norse to the Chaos Wastes. The seas about Norsca are filled with massive longships mastered by the terrible Chaos Champions and their kinsmen who stride the seas searching for either artefacts, purchase by which they may wage war against the weak southlings as demanded by their Gods, or merely any other ship to vent their rage upon. When the call to war is given, the Norse are always at the forefront, tearing down all opposition and cleaving the way into the weak lands of Sigmar. The Norse are always on the warpath, launching continuous and brutal sea raids upon the heavily fortified coast of the Northern Empire and northern Kislev.

It should come as little surprise that the Norsemen are the most fiercely devout followers of Khorne, the God of War. And it is from the Norse that the majority of Khorne's followers are derived. Many Norse Champions of Chaos go on to be the most favored of Khorne's warriors; Cormac Bloodaxe, Scyla Anfingrimm, Hogan Headhacker, Haargroth the Blooded, Arbaal the Undefeated, Valmir Aesling, Hrothgar Daemonaxe, Urlfdaemonkin -- all savage Norse warriors who have risen to pre-eminence in the eyes of the Blood God. In fact, Khorne's own consort, Valkia the Bloody, has risen from the brutal clans of the Norse.

With such a track record, it was obvious that the Imperials would deny any idea that the Norse are even remotely human. Most theories tend to focus on their favour from the Dark Gods and use that as the bedrock for all kinds of claims. Due to them being incredibly strong, very tall and all warriors (at least, all those encountered commonly by the Imperials are such) and devoted to the Dark Gods, Imperials have come to the conclusions that the Norse are a race of superhumans, or that they are daemons shaped as men, or are half-giants. The truth, shaded in the fantastic as it is, is still more interesting.

Contrary to what the Imperials historians zealously claim; they are not the first ones to settle in the Reik basin. Even the Bretonnians and the Nehekharans have held a portion of the land that would later become the heart of the Empire, and the ancestors of the Norse were no different. Known as the Norsii, their ancestral homeland was indeed the frozen Wastes of Norsca. But some of their kinsmen migrated South to the lands that would become part of the Empire. The Norsii were ever the mighty and favored warriors of Chaos, as their descendants are. They were prone to waging bloody and terrible war upon the southern tribes, particularly the Udoses, Teutogens and Roppsmenn. The Norsii's reign of terror was only stopped by the hosts of the southlings gathering to drive them back to their frozen homeland. But from there they would rejoin their kinsmen who still dwelt in the North and return to continue their depredations. It was only Sigmar himself who managed to finally drive the Norsii hordes from the Empire. And only barely. It is a telling thing that the first defeat Sigmar ever suffered came at hands of the vicious Norsmen, led by the ancient Chaos Lord of Khorne: Cormac Bloodaxe.

The Norse are amongst the most fearsome and most devoted warriors of Chaos, but they are also devoted to their tribal affiliations. The tribe forms the very core of the Norse identity, as they are not a unified people by any means, and thus have no concept of nationality. A Norscan will never call himself such. He will identify himself based on tribe and parentage. A Varg will see his loyalties extend only to his immediate tribe and to a much lesser extent, others under the same confederation. After all, even amongst the various so called High Tribes, multitudes of lesser tribes and families will exist. For instance, under the Aesling High Tribe, there exists many other lesser clans owing allegiance to it; such as the Gorehunt, the Snaegr, Skrae and Untam. The various Norscan clans are divided into two main blocks for easy reference based on geography; the Northern tribes and the Southern tribes.

===The Northern Norscan Tribes===
*'''[[Aeslings]]''': The most dreaded and terrifying and powerful of the Norse High Tribes are the Aeslings. They are the most savage and brutal men of Norsca. Even among the other Northernmost Northman tribes they are held in fear. Only favour from the Gods and strength and excellence at arms are valued. [[Grimdark|Thus, they are a people who respect only strength and infants who do not measure to their standards of physical perfection are murdered outright with little fuss.]] While reprehensible, this combined with their constant warfare on others has forged a race who are undoubtedly some of the greatest warriors of all the Northmen. Amongst the Aesling tribes, it is [[Khorne]] who is worshiped above all other Gods and it is not uncommon for tribes to dedicate themselves solely to him. For even amongst the Norsemen, the Aeslings are a people who thrive on war. While one Champion of Chaos may master a crew of marauders who bring ruination on Erengrad or Nordland, another might lead his people in slaughtering the Norse Dwarfs or even their own Norse kinsmen. Even the Kurgans to the east are not safe from the Aeslings' reckless thirst for death, for it is often that an Aesling Jarl will lead his murderous kinsmen in preying upon the many roving Kurgan tribes, slaughtering them and offering up their lives to the vicious Chaos Gods. Their lust for killing has won them no friends, what few allies they have are bound to them by only fear and intimidation, for much like the god they worship, the Aes care not whence the blood flows.

*'''[[Vargs]]''': Another Northern tribe. The Vargs are the most twisted in body and soul of the Norse; they claim the Northern tundras as their lands and fought many horrific beasts to claim it, such as giants, beastmen and daemons of Chaos. They have managed to domesticate the fearsome mammoths of that area, and will often bear them to battle as beasts of war. The Vargs have a blood hatred of the Kurgans that dates backs to untold stretches of ancient history. Time has done little to dampen their hate, and they often mount massive raids into the Kurgan lands, which are joined by Aesling mercenaries, that wreak great devastation of the men of the Eastern Steppes. The Vargs are also dedicated warriors of Khorne, like the Aeslings, and are viciously devoted to his creed of death. The Vargs are said to have come from distant lands and settled in Norsca, led by their greatest and most legendary chieftain; a mighty Chaos Lord of Khorne known as Hrothgar Daemonaxe, who led them in conquering land and enslaving weaker tribes. Hrothgar later went deeper into the realms of the Gods and ascended to Daemonhood. The Vargs know Khorne by the name of ''Arkhar''. One day, a band of horny Varg maraduers decided to trouble the southerners. So, they travelled from all the way from northernmost part of Norsca to Nordland, hellbent on giving them a huuge trouble. And they did. One of these maraduers saw a random fisherman's beautiful wife and thought ''By the [[Slaanesh|Serpent]], that woman is hot. I am going to [[Rape|have fun]] with her.'' [[Grimdark|So he did]]. The result was the birth of a certain devout Templar Knight of Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb. What was his name? His name was [[Archaon|Diederick Kastnar]]. Sounds familiar? This makes the Vargs indirectly responsible for the [[Rage|destruction of Warhammer World]]. In the video game [[Total War: WARHAMMER]], they have a faction up in the Northern Norsca led by a chieftain named Surtha ''[[Meme|'''"BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION!"''']]'' Ek, who is known for slaughtering Southerners with the use of massive chariot tactics.

*'''[[Graelings]]''': The last of the Northern Norse tribes and the most westerly of the Norse, close to Elven lands and prone to raiding those places. They come into conflict with Dark Elven corsairs frequently and the terror of the villages and fortresses of Klar Karond. Though it is also said that when they are not killing them, the Graelings sell slaves culled from the southern lands and Ulthuan to the Dark Elves. They do not gravitate to one Chaos God over another, but are, like most Northman tribes, prone to celebrating Chaos in all its glory. Haargroth the Blooded rose up from this tribe.

===The Southern Norscan Tribes===
*'''[[Skaelings]]''': Sea raiders without equal, the Skaelings are perhaps [[Ork Kommando|the most cunning of the Norse]]. They are the closest of the Chaos worshipers to the southern lands, so it is not uncommon to find them raiding the South. During the Storm of Chaos, Skaeling sea-raiders were utilized to great effectiveness by the Lord of the End Times in harrying and diverting the fleets of Brettonia and Nordland. In addition to their veneration of the Chaos Gods, the Skaelings also worship another daemonic deity known as Mermedus, who some Imperial theologians consider to be a Norscan interpretation of Manann. Though there is little in common with the mighty Imperial sea-god and the abominable daemon the Skaelings make human sacrifices to. Others have considered Mermedus to be the Chaotic reflection of Stromfells, another ill-tempered deity of the sea. interestingly, their name is not a reference to the Vikings themselves, but to the people who lived around the north American colony of vinland, who they called the Skrælings. So the Skaelings may not be chaos Vikings, but rather Chaos Inuit.

*'''[[Baersonlings]]''': A people who would not be odd living in the North of Norsca, the Baersonlings are tireless reavers who are proud of their martial prowess, which is truthfully legendary even amongst the Northmen. Though they are not quite as strong and fierce as the Aeslings, they war with them frequently. Their relations with the Kurgan tribes is similarly icy, and their lands often stretch into the fringes of the Eastern Steppes, which invites war. Not that this disturbs the Baersonlings, war is just another way to glorify the Chaos Gods. They are known for their copious body hair and a strange Chaos mutation that transforms them into unstoppable bear-like monstrosities. Beorg Bearstruck, a powerful Champion of Chaos, and his marauder tribe, the Bearmen of Urslo, are descended from this strain of the Norse nation.

*'''[[Sarls]]''': The Sarls are rugged barbarian warriors. Mighty and indomitable and devoted to the Dark Powers, they have distinguished themselves in the armies of the Chaos Gods often. Wulfrik the Wanderer, one of the greatest Champions of Chaos and executioner of the Chaos Gods rose from these people. The Sarl also destroyed the last and most terrible of the treeblood, using the bark harvested from the creature to create the second ''Seafang'' of [[Wulfrik the Wanderer|Wulfrik]] after the first was lost in a raid on the Elves. Oh and this clan was destroyed after Wulfrik fucked it up by killing the chieftain son and rival clan puppet leader to once again incite the civil war between the two.

*'''[[The Hobbit|Bjorn]]lings''': Little is known of this tribe. But among them are the Crow Brothers, devout warriors of Nurgle.

*'''[[Rotbloods]]''': A tribe of Nurgle worshippers, mentioned in [[Vermintide]] and an enemy faction in the sequel. A tribe driven to such desperation that they not only primarily worship Nurgle (rare for Norscans) but even thought it would be smart to [[derp|ally with]] [[Skaven]]. The champion Bovarr Ribspreader leads their war parties in the south. Thanks to the Skaven created Skittergate, they got to give Helmsgart an early preview of the End Times during the fighting, though they got smashed in [[Vermintide 2]] and Bödvarr was cut down.

===Famous Norse Chaos Champions===
"''I pity you and all the world, for amongst all the races of men, the gods favour we Norse alone''."

*'''[[Morkar the Uniter]]''': The First Everchosen of Chaos; Morkar was the survivor of an Imperial raid upon his village in the aftermath of the defeat of Cormac Bloodaxe's horde at the gates of Middenheim. He rose up to become the greatest Champion of Chaos of his generation and united the Norse tribes in his quest to gain the mark of the gods. He reaped many great conquests and honour and fear were heaped upon his name. No foe could withstand his rage in battle and no enemy was beyond his keen mind to defeat. Eventually, he was crowned as the Eternal Conqueror of the Gods by Be'lakor and led the vengeful Norsemen and their Kurgan allies in unmaking the decadent Empire. He was only defeated narrowly in single combat with Sigmar himself (pre retcon it was Aenarion who killed him). After his death, his body was taken by his kinsmen and buried in a great cairn in the Chaos Wastes. A sliver of Morkar's spirit remained in the armour long after his death, left to brood over his defeat and to forever curse the name of the cowardly Sigmar who derailed his great conquest by his craven single combat. (Let it never be said that, whatever his badass credentials, Morkar was NOT a sore loser.) Morkar the Uniter's rest was disturbed millennia after by his successor, Archaon, who sought the legendary indestructible armour of the First Everchosen in his quest for the 6 Treasures of Chaos; even in death, Morkar was too great for the Lord of the End Times to defeat in open battle. It was only by shouting a curse in the long dead tongue of the Unberogen tribe, the people of Sigmar, that Archaon was able to immobilize the reanimated armour of the dead Champion and defeat it, casting the last part of his spirit back to the Realm of Chaos and take the legendary armour for his own. To this day, Morkar's Chaos plate protects the Lord of the End Times, granting him the same incredible invulnerability as it did its former wearer.

*'''[[Cormac Bloodaxe]]''': One of the first great leaders of the Warriors of Chaos, and the first Champion of Chaos to be possessed by a greater daemon of Khorne. Cormac Bloodaxe, son of Varag Skulltaker, witnessed the rout of his people at the hand of the tyrant Sigmar. Though the Norsii fought fiercely and slew many despite their small numbers, Sigmar's forces were too numerous and his strange war-machines burned away the proud longships that carried the Norsemen in bringing ruination and desolation to the enemies of the Dark Gods of the North. The Norsii returned to their ancestral homeland of Norsca, and a molten core of hate and violence began to burn in Cormac's heart, which would lead him to becoming the greatest Chosen of Khorne and a force of such might and power that would reunite the tribes of Norsca into an unstoppable host that would crush the Empire of Sigmar. With the aid of the Norsii sorcerer, Kar Odacen, Cormac did bind the Norse tribes to his banner, reclaimed the ancient Chaos armour of his father, and bound a great daemon of Khorne to his axe. The eastern tribes of the Kurgan and Hung also prostrated themselves to the Norseman's banner and pledged their lives to his glory. Cormac's leadership saw the first decisive defeat the Imperials ever suffered, he had managed to match wits with Sigmar and defeated him utterly. At the behest of his sorcerer, Cormac was led to invade the City of the White Wolf. In spite of his better judgement which said to instead surround the city and isolate and pick off Sigmar's reinforcements from other southern tribes. Yet, Cormac was leader of the Norsii by the will of the Gods alone, and the Gods willed him to end the Empire with one fell stroke. Cormac's superior Norse warriors, drunk on the blessings of the Dark Gods, and strengthened with armies of daemons and beastmen assaulted Middenheim and victory was near. On the counsel of his shaman, Cormac offered himself up to become the sacrifice necessary to bring forth a Bloodthirster to break the final defenses of Middenheim. The Bloodthirster crossed blades with Sigmar and cast him down, readying for the killing stroke until Ulric himself intervened and cast the daemon into the Realm of Chaos. The Norsii later fled back to Norsca with this setback.

*'''[[Hrothgar Daemonaxe]]''': A great Chaos Lord dedicated to Khorne, first chieftain of the Vargs, and said to be as powerful as a mighty Bloodthirster in battle. It was Hrothgar who led the Vargs out from the East to settle the northern tundras of Norsca, destroying and enslaving weaker tribes of Norse and Kurgan on the way. Bearing a great daemonic battleaxe forged in the visage of a howling wolf, Hrothgar's favour from Arkhar the Wolf (the Varg name for Khorne) was clear. After his many victories were completed, he went to the Chaos Wastes and ascended to Daemonhood. To this day, Hrothgar Daemonaxe is venerated by all Vargs as a lesser deity of Chaos. And is believed to stand at the right hand of Khorne where he sternly judges the exploits of his people.

*'''[[Valmir Aesling]]''': King of the Aesling tribes, one time ally to Asavar Kul, self styled 'Emperor of Chaos' and bane of the Norse Dwarfs. Valmir Aesling was a ruthless and efficient leader of Men. Brooding and silent, save for the occasional and invariably fatal burst of temper. He was feared and renowned for punishing any insolence or slight with the most horrific tortures imaginable. When Asavar Kul was slain at the gates of Kislev (and there are rumours that Valmir himself might have done the deed, for a jagged blade was found impaled in Kul's skull), Valmir was fighting a secret, but no less bloody war against the Norse Dwarf holds. Valmir despised all the races of the Old World, except his own, and thus had long desired the destruction of the Dwarfs that hid in the southern mountains around his homeland of Norsca. Valmir swore an oath to Khorne: he would not rest until he had destroyed the Dwarfs by cutting out the heart of their nation, the hold of Kraka Drak. Valmir's Norse warriors faced the Dwarfs and soon both were locked in a vicious stalemate. But Valmir had planned the battle well, he had gained the allegiance of the Khornate Daemon Prince Aghask, who smashed aside the Dwarf's resistance in key areas, he had gained the aid of battalions of Chaos Knights from Troll Country who crushed the Dwarfen rearguard. Valmir himself charged across the field on his Chaos Chariot, pulled by six skinless bears, slaughtering all opposition to face the Norse Dwarf High King in battle. Valmir threw the severed heads of his champions before him and challenged him to single combat. Incensed at this barbarous affront to his people's honour, the Dwarf King accepted the Norse Lord's challenge. Both armies held their breath as their lords faced one another in a mighty duel. Though Valmir was more than thrice the Dwarf's height, he found himself evenly matched against the ancient, doughty king. Seeing that he could not defeat the Norse King, the Dwarf Lord shouted one word; ''"cannons!"''. Thus, did the Dwarfs fire the great canons of Kraka Drak, shattering the Norse Chaos Warriors and entombing both them and thousands of Dwarfs until the collapsed ruin of what was once the mightiest of the northern Dwarf cities. Both Valmir and the Dwarf King had fallen, slain not by each other's steel, but by snow and stone. Yet, the hold was indeed no more, and underneath the ruins, the hardened Norsemen continued on, methodically slaughtering the remaining Dwarfs. Valmir, albeit posthumously, had upheld his grim oath.

*'''[[Wulfrik the Wanderer]]''': Perhaps the greatest warrior to rise up from the Sarl tribes is Wulfrik the Wanderer, whose name is spoken in fearful whispers. Once a champion of Chaos Undivided amongst the Sarls who thwarted the armies of a great Aesling tribe and slew their king, a mighty Champion of Chaos known as Torgald, Wulfrik had made a drunken boast at the battle's end that he was greater than any warrior in this world or the next. After passing out from quaffing no less than 7 barrels of mead, Wulfrik found his dreams visited by an emissary of the Dark Gods he worshiped. The emissary told Wulfrik that the gods were displeased with his boastful tongue, but had seen fit to allow him to prove his arrogant words. When he awoke, Wulfrik found he had been marked by not one, but all of the four great gods of Chaos, and his tongue was re-shaped into a flitting, forked thing that allowed him to speak in any language. Wulfrik claimed his legendary longship, the Seafang, from the hoard of a Skaeling Chaos Sorceror who he slew in combat. From then on, Wulfrik would be known as the Inescapable One, travelling the hinterlands of the world to slay the fiercest creatures at the whims of the gods. Wulfrik is perhaps one of the greatest warriors in all the world, for he has slaughtered giants, dragons and merwyrms like cattle and even daemons have cowed before him and begged his mercy. He is the Executioner of the Chaos Gods, and is one of their most devout followers. To Khorne he offers up the skulls of those he has slain, to Slaanesh he gives their still-beating hearts, to Nurgle the contents of their slit guts, and Tzeentch he honours with their final breath.

*'''[[Valkia the Bloody]]''': The Sword-Maiden of the Blood God, the Bringer of Glory, the Chooser of the Slain and the Gorequeen of the Norse. Valkia is Khorne's servant who carries the spirits of worthy warriors so that they may fight on forever in the Blood God's Halls. The sagas of her people tell that she was once a mortal woman, a Norse queen of the ancient and long-dead Schwarzvolf tribe. She gained the favour of Khorne by slaying any who dared contest her claim in honourable battle and also by defeating the Champions of the lesser Chaos Gods. Foremost amongst these was Locephax, a daemon prince of Slaanesh who sought to enslave the warrior-queen. Valkia felt the berserker rage come upon her and she took up her great spear Slaupnir and struck down the daemon and affixed its severed head to her shield. Valkia then traveled to the uttermost North of the world and, with the fanaticism of the true believer, pledged herself utterly to the Axefather. Valkia almost succeeded in coming before her beloved god's throne, but was slain like countless others in the twisted hellscape of the realm of Chaos. Khorne was displeased, for he had great plans for the woman, and his bellowing fury was so thunderous that it shook the world and roused Valkia from death. Khorne was angry with her weak mortal form and remade her into a being more pleasing to him. A true vision of destructive power: great bloody wings tore out from her once shapely back, her legs were refashioned into those of a bloodletter and massive horns rose from her skull. Her only purpose now is to reap more skulls for her mighty lord and to choose the valorous Norsemen dedicated to Khorne who fall fight on at their god's side in the Realm of Chaos 'till his rage devours all that exists. When Valkia takes to the mortal skies, all the Norse tribes dedicated to Khorne march under her shadow, for they know that she will carry them to the realms beyond to be Khorne's chosen in the afterlife, a prize beyond all measure. Where she flies, whole lands are drenched in blood. Such is the power Khorne has granted her.

*'''[[Scyla Anfingrimm]]''': The Saga of the Gorebeast is a long and terrifying one amongst the savage Norse clans, the fame of the Talon of Khorne lives long in the songs sung by the Skalds of many a Norscan meadhall and in the terrified ramblings of those few Imperials who have born witness to the unstoppable fury of Scyla and survived. Tales told of a hulking beast the colour of blood who wears a massive bronze collar and is festooned with the blasphemous ritual marks of Khorne, and who lays low all who stand against him with its unquenchable thirst for death. Yet, it was not always so. For the greatest of Khorne's [[Chaos Spawn]] was once a man, '''once a man, ONCESSSSE A MAAAANNRGABLFARBLLEHC--'''--ahem--was once one of his greatest and most fearsome champions. Scyla Anfingrimm was the bane of the Old World from his homeland of frozen Norsca to the shores of distant Ind, his name synonymous with victory, slaughter and pillage. As a man, Scyla was marked by Khorne and elevated into the highest echelons of the god's favour; earning not only the respect of his tribesmen but all the raiders of the neighboring fjords. It was Scyla who single-handedly laid low the fearsome Jabberwock that plagued the River Voltag, and it was Scyla's daemonic greatsword that destroyed the tentacled beast that ruled the Bay of Blades. Every spring, he and his marauders would take to their longships and slaughter their way through the Empire, through Bretonnia and even as far south of Khemri. Returning from their raids drunk on blood and glory, the hulls of their ships filled to bursting with ancient treasures and slaves ready to be thrown upon sacrificial pyres dedicated to Khorne. The people of the Ironpelt would often chatter about how Scyla would soon ascend to daemonhood. They were right in a sense. After orchestrating the Massacre of Black Gulch, which caused the great chasm to run red with Skaven blood, Scyla was gifted with even greater physical strength and massive ape-like arms infused with the power of Chaos. Thanking the Axefather for his blessing, Scyla launched daring raids against the war-dhows of Dhuli armada, personally reducing their great flagship to splinters. This time, he was gifted a serpentine tail ending with a snapping maw. Scyla's merciless killing of the Chaos Dwarf delegation sent to trade with his tribe resulted in a great profusion of horn-like plates covering his mighty frame. After single-handedly annihilating the bestial Gorgers of the Undermountain, Khorne was so pleased with Scyla's might that he gifted the Champion with the mind of a ravenous beast. With that, Scyla's body spiraled out of control. His transformation into a Chaos Spawn was complete '''NO!!! GRISHIISOSKS'''. That day, Scyla fell from a feared and far-famed warlord. His warband fell to the leadership of his second-in-command and next most favoured of Khorne; Erlock One-Eye. Scyla was still afforded the same respect and honour from his companions, arguably moreso, for now he was a living sacrament to Khorne's power and might. Unlike other Chaos Spawn '''Not Again! GRAAAGH!''', Scyla remains the favoured of Khorne; a testament to his greatness in his former life. Scyla exists as he did before, only to fight and slaughter for the pleasure of his fearsome god. His destiny is only to mete out death against those foolish enough to face him.

*'''[[Sigvald|Sigvald the Magnificent]]''': Chaos Lord [[A Song of Ice and Fire|Joffrey]]. Though he appears no more than a boy of sixteen, Sigvald the Magnificent has blighted the Old World for three centuries. The inbred child of a great Norse Chaos Lord and his own sister, Sigvald was spoiled with all he ever wished, it was only after his cannibalistic tendencies were revealed that the tribe forced him out. Feigning dismay, Sigvald sneaked into the longhouse and murdered his own father while he slept, fleeing then to the Chaos Wastes. The personification of beauty on the outside, but as horrifying as the lowest Spawn on the inside, Sigvald rides as Geld-Prince of the Decadent Host; an army of amorous madwomen and men who seek to attend his every debased whim. Marked by the Prince of Excess and gifted with Sliverslash, a blade forged from a sliver of the Sword of Slaanesh, it is clear to all that Sigvald the Magnificent is the greatest Champion of Slaanesh to walk the world. Recently tried to kill all the high Elves on the grounds that they must die for having better hair than him. (Seriously, this guy is pretty much Joffrey from [[A Song of Ice and Fire]]; both were born from brother-sister incest, both are handsome blonde men, both are arrogant and morally repulsive [[That Guy|shits]]. The difference is Sigvald is still alive and even more [[Grimdark]])

*'''[[Vilitch the Curseling]]''': Once upon a time, two twins were born. One of them was Thomin, a well-liked, well-built man who was a great warrior and whom everyone expected to become a great leader. The other was Vilitch, a twisted, decrepit freak whom everyone beat up and could only scrape by as some sorcerer's apprentice. Needless to say, Vilitch hated this setup and prayed to [[Tzeentch]] for him to switch the twins' destinies. Then, one Geheimnisnacht, the big bird answered and merged the twins together. Vilitch was now fused to Thomin's body and as a result became far smarter and more magically adept while Thomin became reduced to a braindead brute. The twin-abomination then decided to use this newfound power to murder all the people who made fun of him and used his magic to mentally enslave the mightiest warriors of his tribe.

*'''[[Festus the Leechlord]]''': Doctor, plaguemaster, and one of [[Nurgle]]'s favorite guys. Originally a good Nordland doctor who knew everything about how to cure diseases. He was then driven to insanity when he found himself incapable of curing a certain plague that swept the lands and in desperation, made a pact with the plague god in order to learn the knowledge needed to cure it. Sure, he got that knowledge, but he also turned so insane that he stopped caring about curing things and began a life of testing out all sorts of diseases and being a generally sick sack of shit (as most Nurglites are wont to). So he became basically the Dr Mengele of the Old World.

*'''[[Dragon Ogres|Kholek Suneater]]''': A FUCKING HUGE 4 legged dragon Ogre. He is a massive Beast armed with a HUUUGE THUNDER HAMMER who can crush dragons. He was a living battering ram who also managed to crush bloodthirsters.

===The Kurgan Tribes===

Not much is known about Kurgans, because they're generally overlooked by GW in favor of their Norscan brothers. Their location points to being Chaos Mongols. There is still some information, however:

*'''Khazags''': They're known as the guys who had first tamed the War Mammoths. [[Games Workshop|Creatively named after Kazakh nation.]]
*'''Dolgans''': [[That Guy|That Guys]] of Kurgan. They hate every other Chaos-affiliated tribe as much as the southerners and prefer to kill everyone who isn't Dolgan on sight. Some of them, thankfully, managed to avoid the Gods' corruption and now live in [[Kislev]], though their population is declining.
*'''[[Space Wolves|Iron Wolves]]''': An interesting tribe, because it's only partially Kurgan. These furries also have a Norse ancestry, descending from the vikings whose asses were kicked by [[Sigmar]] so hard they had to run to the [[Eastern Steppes]]. They are resented by both ancestral tribes and generally think of themselves as independent people.
*'''[[Asavar Kul|Kul]]''': Yeah, those Kul. They're probably the strongest Kurgan tribe that constantly raids the shit out of the neighbours and have a well-developed slavery system. They're also interesting for their complicated religious views, as they do not swear themselves to one of [[Chaos Gods|four major Gods]], instead [[Chaos Undivided|praying to hundred gods and seeking the favor of all of them.]] [[Black Legion|So, pretty much these guys.]] [[Asavar Kul]], Zar of the Kul, was the twelfth Everchosen of Chaos who fought during the [[Great War Against Chaos]] leading the Chaos forces. After Asavar died, his successor was usurped and murdered by [[Vardek Crom]], who is the current Zar.
*'''Tahmaks''', '''Tokmars''', '''Yusak''' etc.: really minor tribes that are barely mentioned in the lore.

===The Kurgan Characters===

*'''The Great Kurgan''': [[Jaghatai Khan|Genghis Khan]] of Kurgans who is only mentioned in [[Tamurkhan: Throne of Chaos]] supplements. He did the unthinkable and managed to unite all of the tribes, creating a truly gigantic empire that managed to beat Hung, [[Hobgoblin|Hobgoblins]] and [[Cathay]]. [[Awesome|Impressive.]] He was also the first Kurgan chieftain to make a deal with [[Chaos]] to get their power on his side, though eventually they fucked him over.
*'''Asavar Kul''': [[Gets shit done|gets shit done]]. Managed to cripple [[Kislev]] for centuries way before both [[Archaon]] and [[Abaddon|Failbaddon]] even managed to do something meaningful. Has his own [[Asavar Kul|page]].
*'''Tamurkhan''': a [[Nurgle|Nurglite]] warrior riding a toad, who is a protagonist of the narrative-driven campaign of the same name. Has his own [[Tamurkhan|page]].
*'''Surtha Lenk''': minor [[Tzeench|Tzeenchite]] warlord and the commander of [[Archaon|Archaon's]] vanguard. Took part in destruction of [[Kislev]] and [[Ostland]] during the [[End Times]].
*'''Vardek Crom''': current Kul chieftain (Zar) and the Herald of Everchosen. Has his own [[Vardek Crom|page]].

=== The Hung ===
{{topquote|Them Kurgan is bad. But the Hung, they jus’ nasty.|Gorg, famous [[Ogre Kingdoms|Ogre]] Philosopher}}

{{topquote|We make deal, yes? You give us gold and women, we no attack. You not give enough gold or women, so we attack. We attack anyway. We make deal, yes?|Average Hung diplomat, showing that even [[The Beast|some orks]] from the [[Warhammer 40,000|different setting]] are better in negotiations than them}}
The least described [[Chaos]] race, mainly for three reasons: they operate in [[Naggaroth]] and [[Eastern Lands]], and the incursions in those regions are described only in the short sentences of some backstory fluff; they're similar to their Kurgan brothers in almost everything; and finally, they're a [[Hobgoblin|pretty negative Mongolian stereotype]], although the fact they're also located in northwestern Naggaroth also could paint then as Chaos Inuits as well, and [[Games Workshop|GW]] certainly doesn't want another [[Pygmies (Warhammer Fantasy)|Pygmies]].

Overall, from what we can gather Hungs are savages and barbarians to the extreme: while previous Chaos races at least have some sort of society and culture, these people only exist to [[RIP AND TEAR|kill, slaughter, rape and fight]]. All they need is a woolen tent, a [[Choppa|choppa]] and a steed. Seriously, their love for <s>horses</s> ponies can only be rivaled by [[Bretonnia|Bretonnians]] (so... Chaos Bretonnians?). Another faction which they resemble are [[Skaven]]: Hungs are insanely backstabby and have no honor at all, to the point that "A Word of Hung" in [[Cathay]] means a "Worthless Promise". Hell, they even abuse the dogs that they use for hunting. [[That Guy|Bastards]]. Oh, and they're cannibals.

With that being said, what do we have in the end? The Hung are insanely evil barbarians that have no respect for anyone or anything and are hated by every other faction (including fellow Chaos Warriors). They have no redeeming qualities and rival Skaven for being the most evil race in the entire game. So, it's probably good that GW downplayed them severely.

Despite their name, they don't seem to favour Slaanesh more than any other Chaos God.

===The Tong===
Besides Norscans, Kurgans, and Hung, there are also the Tong. The Tong are the Chaos Warrior people who lives closest to the entrance to the Realm of Chaos, and as such are the most mentally fucked up and physically mutated of the lot. Complete and utter psycho berserkers, they are featured in Total War Warhammer as being lead by a Chaos Champion named "Ragnar".

== Gallery ==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Northlanders.jpg|WE FIGHT THE HORDE, SINGING AND CRYING; '''VALHALLA'''! I AM COMING!!
File:Chaos marauder by artofty-d3f5hof.jpg|KHORNE!! OPEN THE GATES OF YOUR HALL!!
File:Chaos Longships.jpg|Their main method of transportation.
File:Khorne-Art.jpg|Kjarl Deathaxe and the Blood Drinkers.
File:Wulfrik_Gif.jpg.gif|Wulfrik the Wanderer on a morning stroll.
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer/Tactics/Warriors of Chaos]] - A guide on how to lead these awesome barbarians to glory and bloodshed and the notice of the [[Chaos|Gods]].
*[[Viking|Vikings]] - What they are based off. Just in case you forgot.
*[[Chaos Space Marines]] - Their 40K counterparts.
*[[Chaos]] - What did they worship again?

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer Fantasy Battle}}

{{Chaos-Champions}}

Warriors of Chaos

2022-08-03T05:00:33Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: The Tong

[[File:All_Fear_the_Wrath_of_the_Norscans.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Vikings FTW!]]
{{topquote|To the ordinary, we are unknowable. Fallen. Corrupted. Rightly feared. You cannot understand our orgins, our motives... the dawning realisation that we are ''not'' fallen. We. Are. '''Ascended.'''|[[Archaon|Archaon the Everchosen]]}}

{{topquote|Moving up and fighting the best keeps me hungry.|Nonito Donaire}}

{{topquote|Then I saw when the Lamb broke one of the seven seals, and I heard one of the four living creatures saying as with a voice of thunder, 'Come.' I looked, and behold, a white horse, and he who sat on it had a bow; and a crown was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer.|Revelation 6:1-2}}

[[Old School Roleplaying|Remember when the followers of the Dark Gods were badass Viking warriors in awesome looking plate armour]] and weren't [[Chaos Space Marines|emo Space Marines]] under the thrall of [[Abaddon|an armless failure]]? Remember when they were led by completely fucking crazy motherfuckers who wrestled fucking Bloodthirsters to the ground as a bloody initiation ritual and rode around on chariots pulled by skinless bears and rode horses fed on human flesh and watered down with blood and had awesome beards rivalled only by Dwarfs? Pepperidge Farm remembers. These are the '''Warriors of Chaos''' (formerly '''Hordes'''), the granddaddies of all that is [[Awesome]] in the Chaos Space Marines, the original Champions of Chaos.

Additionally, every time the words "devout", "cruel", "savage", and synonyms of those show up in the following article, take a swig. I can guarantee that you will at least be drunk (unless you are, in fact, a chaos warrior yourself, in which case you would need to drink a gallon for every derp on the [[Derp]] page (enough to get 6 fully packed Yankee stadiums completely hammered, in case you're wondering)). As you should be, considering you're reading about Vikings.

==Brief Foreword==
Nostalgia aside, you can't truly call yourself a fan of Chaos or Warhammer in general without having at least a cursory knowledge of these guys. These guys are the very essence of Warhammer: baroque plate armour, skulls, Vikings, mutations, Michael Moorcock, J.R.R Tolkien, Hieronymus Bosch, H.P Lovecraft and Heavy Metal; everything that was put in together and left to boil to produce the two most grimdark settings in the history of mankind is encapsulated in these guys. The first edition of Warhammer Fantasy had one of them displayed proudly on it, for Odin's sake (the now legendary [[Harry the Hammer]], the TRUE reason why Warhammer is called Warhammer, check out Harry's new model, it kicks ass). Like it or not, these guys were what forged Warhammer for a lot of people. To this day, no game based on it feels complete without dark armoured marauding warriors of the Nordic or [[Chaos Space Marine|sci-fi]] persuasion. So read on, and see their glory in full.

'''tl;dr''': '''MOTHERFUCKING CHAOS [[Viking|VIKINGS]], MAN!!!'''

If you watch some of the Viking shit that is part of the current minor renaissance in sword-and-longboat fantasy that's been going on in television lately, like ''The Last Kingdom'', you might think that the portrayal of Vikings is not that far off. And arguably, it isn't; they got up to some pretty [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle deranged Khornate shit]. But of course, history was written by the people who they were murder-raping in the name of <s>Khorne</s>Odin. It's pretty much beyond dispute, though, that theirs was a culture very much centered upon raiding (literally what ''viking'' means, more or less) and being a badass warrior; you couldn't get to Valhalla unless you died with a weapon in hand. (Drunken accident? Old age? Getting poisoned or stabbed in the back? Too bad, it's off to Niflheim, the domain of Hel--one 'l', that's after the goddess who reigned there, and no, it wasn't hot, it was motherfucking cold.) Pretty fucking Khornate if you ask me.

They are also the only non-Imperial Guard army to have not been fucked over completely beyond all redemption by the foul [[Cruddace]].

==Fantasy Overview==
In the beginning, the Old Ones came to the Warhammer World and set about doing their crazy magical genetic engineering bullshit. Then, for whatever non-reason the Polar Gates at the top and bottom of the world that they had constructed to ward off Chaos gave out and the world was corrupted and consumed by it. Depending on who you ask, either this event is what birthed Chaos and the Chaos Gods, or they came first and helped cause it. Who knows? The Old Ones fucked off, and left races of Dwarfs and Elves and Slaan. But a fourth creation also that was not fully equipped to resist the influence of Chaos, and of course, this was Man. Mankind was unfinished, and the warpstones that flew from the Northern polar wastes caused the acceleration of physical and cultural progress and, most importantly, of the human mind. The races of men gained a vigor and fire from the power of Chaos that drove them to great heights of glory and caused them to surpass the manufactured races of the Old Ones. In many ways, the history of Chaos ''is'' the history of mankind in the Warhammer world, serving as a dark reflection of what corrupted humanity can look like, the civilized soldiers and benevolent Order Gods of the South mirrored by the barbaric warriors and the cruel, fickle Chaos Gods of the North. It was only fitting that some tribes amongst Humanity would come to worship the various Gods of Chaos, namely the best-known four of them (and a long time ago [[Chaos Gods of Law|some others that GW sadly forgot about]] and [[Malal|another they were contractually forced to forget about.]])

The most notable of these was the Norsii. who would later be feared by all of the Old World as the fierce '''Norse''', the most brutal and devout worshipers of Chaos. They were joined by their cousins as well, the brutal '''Kurgan''' of the Eastern Steppes and the squat and ferocious (yet anatomically gifted in certain areas) '''Hung'''. These are the three Great Races of Men, for it is they alone who are favored by the mighty Gods. Together, they are the Northmen, and they shall make the World tremble.

On the tabletop, the Warriors of Chaos tend to be unstoppable close combat powerhouses (as they should be, they're Vikings), with little in the way of ranged fire support. Very melee oriented, even their sorcerers can be thrown into melee and be expected to hold their own. They have very powerful magic that can be used to supplement their incredible power. They have extremely powerful Lord choices who might very well be the most powerful generic lords in the game. They have a pretty high points cost, though, so you're going to be outnumbered. On the other hand, that shouldn't bother you too much because they're badasses. The problem is that you have a predictable play style and are more or less ineffective if you can't get into melee. Movement phases are important, especially in fantasy, so think about how you move your forces. Despite it being a predictable play style, it's still easy to grasp and simple to use, which also makes the Warriors a good starting army. Also, because of the low model count since these guys have a large point cost, it doesn't cost that much by GW standards to put a good army together. So, if you like Vikings in spiky armor, get the Warriors.

==The Men of the North==
The twisted northlands of [[Norsca]] and the [[Eastern Steppes]] straddle the line between mere mortality and the realm of the immortal, for they the closest of the realms to the foul Chaos Wastes and the portal that leads to the realm of the Chaos Gods. Known as Rainsheim amongst the Norse, and a dozen other names amongst those others who dare to treat with Chaos; Northman or Southman. The power of Chaos has corrupted all the lands of the world, but as the distance from the pole decreases, the influence of Chaos increases. And so, the men of Norsca and the Kurgan realms are saturated with the power of the gods.

The men who dwell in the Northlands are, for the most part, barbarous and savage compared to those who live in the settled lands to the south. They are not physically unlike other men and, in times of peace, merchants from the Norse and Kurgan can be found trading their wares in the markets of cosmopolitan cities such as Marienburg in the west and the Hung can be found doing the same in Weijin in the east. Yet, in some other forms, they are unlike their fellows to the South. For they worship evil Gods of Blood, Decay, Scheming, and Debauchery and live brutal, primitive lives of war. Most lamentably, they all live directly under the shadow of Chaos and are slaves to its Will.

Depending on what version of the lore you go with, not all of Norsca is enthralled to Chaos. Old material mentions tribes and whole kingdoms living and coexisting with the Southlands, some even taking to worshiping other Gods like [[Ulric]]. Some of these tribes are even mentioned as fighting Chaos and trying to steer their brethren away from falling victim to it. Again, this varies quite a bit between editions and even within editions themselves.

The men of the Northlands have many different gods. Most are daemons and valorous dead or ascended Champions of Chaos deified by their tribes (a practice especially common with the Norse) or manifestations of the natural world (as is common amongst the Kurgan), but all the Northmen owe their highest worship to the Four Great Gods of Chaos, whom they readily recognize as the masters of these lesser deities. The Northmen do not think of the Chaos Gods as evil, as the superstitious men of the South are wont to. But as individuals, they are as unpredictable as mortals. Thus, the Northmen reasonably maintain that such powerful entities are beyond the moral judgment of men. It is thus every warrior's duty to honour the gods in all walks of life. Such things are self-evident. To deny the gods and not worship them would be foolish, their existence in the North is a simple fact of life; evident in the mark of Khorne proudly displayed by a Norscan marauder as he leaps from his longship to savage Imperial soldiers with his daemonic strength, or in the mark of Tzeentch borne by a Kurgan rider as he fells a Kislevite warrior with his new-found blade of bone in place of a hand. To resent this state of affairs would be like resenting the sunrise or the wind - What would it accomplish?

The Four are known by many names amongst the people of the North. Nonetheless, all the Gods are recognized by them. And it is not uncommon for the tribes to choose one god amongst them as a patron (the Norse tribes commonly take Khorne as theirs, while some tribes of the Kurgan may choose Tzeentch) - who is seen as the father and protector of their kindred. Lesser gods and daemons are also worshiped, along with great heroes peculiar to a particular tribe who are often chieftains who died such glorious deaths that they were raised to sit beside the god of their tribe in eternal glory.

Though they may seem barely civil in times of peace, the Norse, Kurgan and Hung are vicious races of bloodthirsty warriors. Used to battling amongst themselves - war is their natural state and they wage it without concern or prejudice. They rejoice in battle and strength at arms, and honour the brave of both sides while despising the cowards likewise. Yet they are willing to forget their differences when the Gods command them to fight on their behalf. For there is no greater joy than to fight and die in the armies of the immortals.

===The Daemon Norse===
{{topquote|From the harsh snowlands they come. Blond of hair they are, and blue of eye, and tattoos upon arms and face and chest. Their eyes are mad with bloodlust, for blood they thirst for, driven forth on the whims of the Gods they seek to appease. Clad in but few garments and wielding clumsy, brutal axes and maces, they rage against the civilized lands of the south, burning, pillaging, looting all before them to offer up as sacrifice to their uncaring masters beyond the gates of hell in the Northern Wastes.|The Liber Chaotica as penned by Richter Kleiss, former Priest of Sigmar}}

The Norse of Norsca are the most brutal, fierce and savage followers of the Chaos Gods in the Warhammer world. They are the tallest, most physically strong race in the Old World, raised amongst a culture that respects only strength and the ability to kill and closeness to the Primordial Gods. All of Norsca is in the thrall of Chaos, corrupting the mountainous wasteland with the essence of change that seeps not only into man and beast but the very ground itself. Mutations are so common as to be universal among the Norscans, seen as signs of blessings from the Chaos Gods. Mighty warbands prowl the mainland and the horrific mountain ranges that connects the lands of the Norse to the Chaos Wastes. The seas about Norsca are filled with massive longships mastered by the terrible Chaos Champions and their kinsmen who stride the seas searching for either artefacts, purchase by which they may wage war against the weak southlings as demanded by their Gods, or merely any other ship to vent their rage upon. When the call to war is given, the Norse are always at the forefront, tearing down all opposition and cleaving the way into the weak lands of Sigmar. The Norse are always on the warpath, launching continuous and brutal sea raids upon the heavily fortified coast of the Northern Empire and northern Kislev.

It should come as little surprise that the Norsemen are the most fiercely devout followers of Khorne, the God of War. And it is from the Norse that the majority of Khorne's followers are derived. Many Norse Champions of Chaos go on to be the most favored of Khorne's warriors; Cormac Bloodaxe, Scyla Anfingrimm, Hogan Headhacker, Haargroth the Blooded, Arbaal the Undefeated, Valmir Aesling, Hrothgar Daemonaxe, Urlfdaemonkin -- all savage Norse warriors who have risen to pre-eminence in the eyes of the Blood God. In fact, Khorne's own consort, Valkia the Bloody, has risen from the brutal clans of the Norse.

With such a track record, it was obvious that the Imperials would deny any idea that the Norse are even remotely human. Most theories tend to focus on their favour from the Dark Gods and use that as the bedrock for all kinds of claims. Due to them being incredibly strong, very tall and all warriors (at least, all those encountered commonly by the Imperials are such) and devoted to the Dark Gods, Imperials have come to the conclusions that the Norse are a race of superhumans, or that they are daemons shaped as men, or are half-giants. The truth, shaded in the fantastic as it is, is still more interesting.

Contrary to what the Imperials historians zealously claim; they are not the first ones to settle in the Reik basin. Even the Bretonnians and the Nehekharans have held a portion of the land that would later become the heart of the Empire, and the ancestors of the Norse were no different. Known as the Norsii, their ancestral homeland was indeed the frozen Wastes of Norsca. But some of their kinsmen migrated South to the lands that would become part of the Empire. The Norsii were ever the mighty and favored warriors of Chaos, as their descendants are. They were prone to waging bloody and terrible war upon the southern tribes, particularly the Udoses, Teutogens and Roppsmenn. The Norsii's reign of terror was only stopped by the hosts of the southlings gathering to drive them back to their frozen homeland. But from there they would rejoin their kinsmen who still dwelt in the North and return to continue their depredations. It was only Sigmar himself who managed to finally drive the Norsii hordes from the Empire. And only barely. It is a telling thing that the first defeat Sigmar ever suffered came at hands of the vicious Norsmen, led by the ancient Chaos Lord of Khorne: Cormac Bloodaxe.

The Norse are amongst the most fearsome and most devoted warriors of Chaos, but they are also devoted to their tribal affiliations. The tribe forms the very core of the Norse identity, as they are not a unified people by any means, and thus have no concept of nationality. A Norscan will never call himself such. He will identify himself based on tribe and parentage. A Varg will see his loyalties extend only to his immediate tribe and to a much lesser extent, others under the same confederation. After all, even amongst the various so called High Tribes, multitudes of lesser tribes and families will exist. For instance, under the Aesling High Tribe, there exists many other lesser clans owing allegiance to it; such as the Gorehunt, the Snaegr, Skrae and Untam. The various Norscan clans are divided into two main blocks for easy reference based on geography; the Northern tribes and the Southern tribes.

===The Northern Norscan Tribes===
*'''[[Aeslings]]''': The most dreaded and terrifying and powerful of the Norse High Tribes are the Aeslings. They are the most savage and brutal men of Norsca. Even among the other Northernmost Northman tribes they are held in fear. Only favour from the Gods and strength and excellence at arms are valued. [[Grimdark|Thus, they are a people who respect only strength and infants who do not measure to their standards of physical perfection are murdered outright with little fuss.]] While reprehensible, this combined with their constant warfare on others has forged a race who are undoubtedly some of the greatest warriors of all the Northmen. Amongst the Aesling tribes, it is [[Khorne]] who is worshiped above all other Gods and it is not uncommon for tribes to dedicate themselves solely to him. For even amongst the Norsemen, the Aeslings are a people who thrive on war. While one Champion of Chaos may master a crew of marauders who bring ruination on Erengrad or Nordland, another might lead his people in slaughtering the Norse Dwarfs or even their own Norse kinsmen. Even the Kurgans to the east are not safe from the Aeslings' reckless thirst for death, for it is often that an Aesling Jarl will lead his murderous kinsmen in preying upon the many roving Kurgan tribes, slaughtering them and offering up their lives to the vicious Chaos Gods. Their lust for killing has won them no friends, what few allies they have are bound to them by only fear and intimidation, for much like the god they worship, the Aes care not whence the blood flows.

*'''[[Vargs]]''': Another Northern tribe. The Vargs are the most twisted in body and soul of the Norse; they claim the Northern tundras as their lands and fought many horrific beasts to claim it, such as giants, beastmen and daemons of Chaos. They have managed to domesticate the fearsome mammoths of that area, and will often bear them to battle as beasts of war. The Vargs have a blood hatred of the Kurgans that dates backs to untold stretches of ancient history. Time has done little to dampen their hate, and they often mount massive raids into the Kurgan lands, which are joined by Aesling mercenaries, that wreak great devastation of the men of the Eastern Steppes. The Vargs are also dedicated warriors of Khorne, like the Aeslings, and are viciously devoted to his creed of death. The Vargs are said to have come from distant lands and settled in Norsca, led by their greatest and most legendary chieftain; a mighty Chaos Lord of Khorne known as Hrothgar Daemonaxe, who led them in conquering land and enslaving weaker tribes. Hrothgar later went deeper into the realms of the Gods and ascended to Daemonhood. The Vargs know Khorne by the name of ''Arkhar''. One day, a band of horny Varg maraduers decided to trouble the southerners. So, they travelled from all the way from northernmost part of Norsca to Nordland, hellbent on giving them a huuge trouble. And they did. One of these maraduers saw a random fisherman's beautiful wife and thought ''By the [[Slaanesh|Serpent]], that woman is hot. I am going to [[Rape|have fun]] with her.'' [[Grimdark|So he did]]. The result was the birth of a certain devout Templar Knight of Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb. What was his name? His name was [[Archaon|Diederick Kastnar]]. Sounds familiar? This makes the Vargs indirectly responsible for the [[Rage|destruction of Warhammer World]]. In the video game [[Total War: WARHAMMER]], they have a faction up in the Northern Norsca led by a chieftain named Surtha ''[[Meme|'''"BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION!"''']]'' Ek, who is known for slaughtering Southerners with the use of massive chariot tactics.

*'''[[Graelings]]''': The last of the Northern Norse tribes and the most westerly of the Norse, close to Elven lands and prone to raiding those places. They come into conflict with Dark Elven corsairs frequently and the terror of the villages and fortresses of Klar Karond. Though it is also said that when they are not killing them, the Graelings sell slaves culled from the southern lands and Ulthuan to the Dark Elves. They do not gravitate to one Chaos God over another, but are, like most Northman tribes, prone to celebrating Chaos in all its glory. Haargroth the Blooded rose up from this tribe.

===The Southern Norscan Tribes===
*'''[[Skaelings]]''': Sea raiders without equal, the Skaelings are perhaps [[Ork Kommando|the most cunning of the Norse]]. They are the closest of the Chaos worshipers to the southern lands, so it is not uncommon to find them raiding the South. During the Storm of Chaos, Skaeling sea-raiders were utilized to great effectiveness by the Lord of the End Times in harrying and diverting the fleets of Brettonia and Nordland. In addition to their veneration of the Chaos Gods, the Skaelings also worship another daemonic deity known as Mermedus, who some Imperial theologians consider to be a Norscan interpretation of Manann. Though there is little in common with the mighty Imperial sea-god and the abominable daemon the Skaelings make human sacrifices to. Others have considered Mermedus to be the Chaotic reflection of Stromfells, another ill-tempered deity of the sea. interestingly, their name is not a reference to the Vikings themselves, but to the people who lived around the north American colony of vinland, who they called the Skrælings. So the Skaelings may not be chaos Vikings, but rather Chaos Inuit.

*'''[[Baersonlings]]''': A people who would not be odd living in the North of Norsca, the Baersonlings are tireless reavers who are proud of their martial prowess, which is truthfully legendary even amongst the Northmen. Though they are not quite as strong and fierce as the Aeslings, they war with them frequently. Their relations with the Kurgan tribes is similarly icy, and their lands often stretch into the fringes of the Eastern Steppes, which invites war. Not that this disturbs the Baersonlings, war is just another way to glorify the Chaos Gods. They are known for their copious body hair and a strange Chaos mutation that transforms them into unstoppable bear-like monstrosities. Beorg Bearstruck, a powerful Champion of Chaos, and his marauder tribe, the Bearmen of Urslo, are descended from this strain of the Norse nation.

*'''[[Sarls]]''': The Sarls are rugged barbarian warriors. Mighty and indomitable and devoted to the Dark Powers, they have distinguished themselves in the armies of the Chaos Gods often. Wulfrik the Wanderer, one of the greatest Champions of Chaos and executioner of the Chaos Gods rose from these people. The Sarl also destroyed the last and most terrible of the treeblood, using the bark harvested from the creature to create the second ''Seafang'' of [[Wulfrik the Wanderer|Wulfrik]] after the first was lost in a raid on the Elves. Oh and this clan was destroyed after Wulfrik fucked it up by killing the chieftain son and rival clan puppet leader to once again incite the civil war between the two.

*'''[[The Hobbit|Bjorn]]lings''': Little is known of this tribe. But among them are the Crow Brothers, devout warriors of Nurgle.

*'''[[Rotbloods]]''': A tribe of Nurgle worshippers, mentioned in [[Vermintide]] and an enemy faction in the sequel. A tribe driven to such desperation that they not only primarily worship Nurgle (rare for Norscans) but even thought it would be smart to [[derp|ally with]] [[Skaven]]. The champion Bovarr Ribspreader leads their war parties in the south. Thanks to the Skaven created Skittergate, they got to give Helmsgart an early preview of the End Times during the fighting, though they got smashed in [[Vermintide 2]] and Bödvarr was cut down.

===Famous Norse Chaos Champions===
"''I pity you and all the world, for amongst all the races of men, the gods favour we Norse alone''."

*'''[[Morkar the Uniter]]''': The First Everchosen of Chaos; Morkar was the survivor of an Imperial raid upon his village in the aftermath of the defeat of Cormac Bloodaxe's horde at the gates of Middenheim. He rose up to become the greatest Champion of Chaos of his generation and united the Norse tribes in his quest to gain the mark of the gods. He reaped many great conquests and honour and fear were heaped upon his name. No foe could withstand his rage in battle and no enemy was beyond his keen mind to defeat. Eventually, he was crowned as the Eternal Conqueror of the Gods by Be'lakor and led the vengeful Norsemen and their Kurgan allies in unmaking the decadent Empire. He was only defeated narrowly in single combat with Sigmar himself (pre retcon it was Aenarion who killed him). After his death, his body was taken by his kinsmen and buried in a great cairn in the Chaos Wastes. A sliver of Morkar's spirit remained in the armour long after his death, left to brood over his defeat and to forever curse the name of the cowardly Sigmar who derailed his great conquest by his craven single combat. (Let it never be said that, whatever his badass credentials, Morkar was NOT a sore loser.) Morkar the Uniter's rest was disturbed millennia after by his successor, Archaon, who sought the legendary indestructible armour of the First Everchosen in his quest for the 6 Treasures of Chaos; even in death, Morkar was too great for the Lord of the End Times to defeat in open battle. It was only by shouting a curse in the long dead tongue of the Unberogen tribe, the people of Sigmar, that Archaon was able to immobilize the reanimated armour of the dead Champion and defeat it, casting the last part of his spirit back to the Realm of Chaos and take the legendary armour for his own. To this day, Morkar's Chaos plate protects the Lord of the End Times, granting him the same incredible invulnerability as it did its former wearer.

*'''[[Cormac Bloodaxe]]''': One of the first great leaders of the Warriors of Chaos, and the first Champion of Chaos to be possessed by a greater daemon of Khorne. Cormac Bloodaxe, son of Varag Skulltaker, witnessed the rout of his people at the hand of the tyrant Sigmar. Though the Norsii fought fiercely and slew many despite their small numbers, Sigmar's forces were too numerous and his strange war-machines burned away the proud longships that carried the Norsemen in bringing ruination and desolation to the enemies of the Dark Gods of the North. The Norsii returned to their ancestral homeland of Norsca, and a molten core of hate and violence began to burn in Cormac's heart, which would lead him to becoming the greatest Chosen of Khorne and a force of such might and power that would reunite the tribes of Norsca into an unstoppable host that would crush the Empire of Sigmar. With the aid of the Norsii sorcerer, Kar Odacen, Cormac did bind the Norse tribes to his banner, reclaimed the ancient Chaos armour of his father, and bound a great daemon of Khorne to his axe. The eastern tribes of the Kurgan and Hung also prostrated themselves to the Norseman's banner and pledged their lives to his glory. Cormac's leadership saw the first decisive defeat the Imperials ever suffered, he had managed to match wits with Sigmar and defeated him utterly. At the behest of his sorcerer, Cormac was led to invade the City of the White Wolf. In spite of his better judgement which said to instead surround the city and isolate and pick off Sigmar's reinforcements from other southern tribes. Yet, Cormac was leader of the Norsii by the will of the Gods alone, and the Gods willed him to end the Empire with one fell stroke. Cormac's superior Norse warriors, drunk on the blessings of the Dark Gods, and strengthened with armies of daemons and beastmen assaulted Middenheim and victory was near. On the counsel of his shaman, Cormac offered himself up to become the sacrifice necessary to bring forth a Bloodthirster to break the final defenses of Middenheim. The Bloodthirster crossed blades with Sigmar and cast him down, readying for the killing stroke until Ulric himself intervened and cast the daemon into the Realm of Chaos. The Norsii later fled back to Norsca with this setback.

*'''[[Hrothgar Daemonaxe]]''': A great Chaos Lord dedicated to Khorne, first chieftain of the Vargs, and said to be as powerful as a mighty Bloodthirster in battle. It was Hrothgar who led the Vargs out from the East to settle the northern tundras of Norsca, destroying and enslaving weaker tribes of Norse and Kurgan on the way. Bearing a great daemonic battleaxe forged in the visage of a howling wolf, Hrothgar's favour from Arkhar the Wolf (the Varg name for Khorne) was clear. After his many victories were completed, he went to the Chaos Wastes and ascended to Daemonhood. To this day, Hrothgar Daemonaxe is venerated by all Vargs as a lesser deity of Chaos. And is believed to stand at the right hand of Khorne where he sternly judges the exploits of his people.

*'''[[Valmir Aesling]]''': King of the Aesling tribes, one time ally to Asavar Kul, self styled 'Emperor of Chaos' and bane of the Norse Dwarfs. Valmir Aesling was a ruthless and efficient leader of Men. Brooding and silent, save for the occasional and invariably fatal burst of temper. He was feared and renowned for punishing any insolence or slight with the most horrific tortures imaginable. When Asavar Kul was slain at the gates of Kislev (and there are rumours that Valmir himself might have done the deed, for a jagged blade was found impaled in Kul's skull), Valmir was fighting a secret, but no less bloody war against the Norse Dwarf holds. Valmir despised all the races of the Old World, except his own, and thus had long desired the destruction of the Dwarfs that hid in the southern mountains around his homeland of Norsca. Valmir swore an oath to Khorne: he would not rest until he had destroyed the Dwarfs by cutting out the heart of their nation, the hold of Kraka Drak. Valmir's Norse warriors faced the Dwarfs and soon both were locked in a vicious stalemate. But Valmir had planned the battle well, he had gained the allegiance of the Khornate Daemon Prince Aghask, who smashed aside the Dwarf's resistance in key areas, he had gained the aid of battalions of Chaos Knights from Troll Country who crushed the Dwarfen rearguard. Valmir himself charged across the field on his Chaos Chariot, pulled by six skinless bears, slaughtering all opposition to face the Norse Dwarf High King in battle. Valmir threw the severed heads of his champions before him and challenged him to single combat. Incensed at this barbarous affront to his people's honour, the Dwarf King accepted the Norse Lord's challenge. Both armies held their breath as their lords faced one another in a mighty duel. Though Valmir was more than thrice the Dwarf's height, he found himself evenly matched against the ancient, doughty king. Seeing that he could not defeat the Norse King, the Dwarf Lord shouted one word; ''"cannons!"''. Thus, did the Dwarfs fire the great canons of Kraka Drak, shattering the Norse Chaos Warriors and entombing both them and thousands of Dwarfs until the collapsed ruin of what was once the mightiest of the northern Dwarf cities. Both Valmir and the Dwarf King had fallen, slain not by each other's steel, but by snow and stone. Yet, the hold was indeed no more, and underneath the ruins, the hardened Norsemen continued on, methodically slaughtering the remaining Dwarfs. Valmir, albeit posthumously, had upheld his grim oath.

*'''[[Wulfrik the Wanderer]]''': Perhaps the greatest warrior to rise up from the Sarl tribes is Wulfrik the Wanderer, whose name is spoken in fearful whispers. Once a champion of Chaos Undivided amongst the Sarls who thwarted the armies of a great Aesling tribe and slew their king, a mighty Champion of Chaos known as Torgald, Wulfrik had made a drunken boast at the battle's end that he was greater than any warrior in this world or the next. After passing out from quaffing no less than 7 barrels of mead, Wulfrik found his dreams visited by an emissary of the Dark Gods he worshiped. The emissary told Wulfrik that the gods were displeased with his boastful tongue, but had seen fit to allow him to prove his arrogant words. When he awoke, Wulfrik found he had been marked by not one, but all of the four great gods of Chaos, and his tongue was re-shaped into a flitting, forked thing that allowed him to speak in any language. Wulfrik claimed his legendary longship, the Seafang, from the hoard of a Skaeling Chaos Sorceror who he slew in combat. From then on, Wulfrik would be known as the Inescapable One, travelling the hinterlands of the world to slay the fiercest creatures at the whims of the gods. Wulfrik is perhaps one of the greatest warriors in all the world, for he has slaughtered giants, dragons and merwyrms like cattle and even daemons have cowed before him and begged his mercy. He is the Executioner of the Chaos Gods, and is one of their most devout followers. To Khorne he offers up the skulls of those he has slain, to Slaanesh he gives their still-beating hearts, to Nurgle the contents of their slit guts, and Tzeentch he honours with their final breath.

*'''[[Valkia the Bloody]]''': The Sword-Maiden of the Blood God, the Bringer of Glory, the Chooser of the Slain and the Gorequeen of the Norse. Valkia is Khorne's servant who carries the spirits of worthy warriors so that they may fight on forever in the Blood God's Halls. The sagas of her people tell that she was once a mortal woman, a Norse queen of the ancient and long-dead Schwarzvolf tribe. She gained the favour of Khorne by slaying any who dared contest her claim in honourable battle and also by defeating the Champions of the lesser Chaos Gods. Foremost amongst these was Locephax, a daemon prince of Slaanesh who sought to enslave the warrior-queen. Valkia felt the berserker rage come upon her and she took up her great spear Slaupnir and struck down the daemon and affixed its severed head to her shield. Valkia then traveled to the uttermost North of the world and, with the fanaticism of the true believer, pledged herself utterly to the Axefather. Valkia almost succeeded in coming before her beloved god's throne, but was slain like countless others in the twisted hellscape of the realm of Chaos. Khorne was displeased, for he had great plans for the woman, and his bellowing fury was so thunderous that it shook the world and roused Valkia from death. Khorne was angry with her weak mortal form and remade her into a being more pleasing to him. A true vision of destructive power: great bloody wings tore out from her once shapely back, her legs were refashioned into those of a bloodletter and massive horns rose from her skull. Her only purpose now is to reap more skulls for her mighty lord and to choose the valorous Norsemen dedicated to Khorne who fall fight on at their god's side in the Realm of Chaos 'till his rage devours all that exists. When Valkia takes to the mortal skies, all the Norse tribes dedicated to Khorne march under her shadow, for they know that she will carry them to the realms beyond to be Khorne's chosen in the afterlife, a prize beyond all measure. Where she flies, whole lands are drenched in blood. Such is the power Khorne has granted her.

*'''[[Scyla Anfingrimm]]''': The Saga of the Gorebeast is a long and terrifying one amongst the savage Norse clans, the fame of the Talon of Khorne lives long in the songs sung by the Skalds of many a Norscan meadhall and in the terrified ramblings of those few Imperials who have born witness to the unstoppable fury of Scyla and survived. Tales told of a hulking beast the colour of blood who wears a massive bronze collar and is festooned with the blasphemous ritual marks of Khorne, and who lays low all who stand against him with its unquenchable thirst for death. Yet, it was not always so. For the greatest of Khorne's [[Chaos Spawn]] was once a man, '''once a man, ONCESSSSE A MAAAANNRGABLFARBLLEHC--'''--ahem--was once one of his greatest and most fearsome champions. Scyla Anfingrimm was the bane of the Old World from his homeland of frozen Norsca to the shores of distant Ind, his name synonymous with victory, slaughter and pillage. As a man, Scyla was marked by Khorne and elevated into the highest echelons of the god's favour; earning not only the respect of his tribesmen but all the raiders of the neighboring fjords. It was Scyla who single-handedly laid low the fearsome Jabberwock that plagued the River Voltag, and it was Scyla's daemonic greatsword that destroyed the tentacled beast that ruled the Bay of Blades. Every spring, he and his marauders would take to their longships and slaughter their way through the Empire, through Bretonnia and even as far south of Khemri. Returning from their raids drunk on blood and glory, the hulls of their ships filled to bursting with ancient treasures and slaves ready to be thrown upon sacrificial pyres dedicated to Khorne. The people of the Ironpelt would often chatter about how Scyla would soon ascend to daemonhood. They were right in a sense. After orchestrating the Massacre of Black Gulch, which caused the great chasm to run red with Skaven blood, Scyla was gifted with even greater physical strength and massive ape-like arms infused with the power of Chaos. Thanking the Axefather for his blessing, Scyla launched daring raids against the war-dhows of Dhuli armada, personally reducing their great flagship to splinters. This time, he was gifted a serpentine tail ending with a snapping maw. Scyla's merciless killing of the Chaos Dwarf delegation sent to trade with his tribe resulted in a great profusion of horn-like plates covering his mighty frame. After single-handedly annihilating the bestial Gorgers of the Undermountain, Khorne was so pleased with Scyla's might that he gifted the Champion with the mind of a ravenous beast. With that, Scyla's body spiraled out of control. His transformation into a Chaos Spawn was complete '''NO!!! GRISHIISOSKS'''. That day, Scyla fell from a feared and far-famed warlord. His warband fell to the leadership of his second-in-command and next most favoured of Khorne; Erlock One-Eye. Scyla was still afforded the same respect and honour from his companions, arguably moreso, for now he was a living sacrament to Khorne's power and might. Unlike other Chaos Spawn '''Not Again! GRAAAGH!''', Scyla remains the favoured of Khorne; a testament to his greatness in his former life. Scyla exists as he did before, only to fight and slaughter for the pleasure of his fearsome god. His destiny is only to mete out death against those foolish enough to face him.

*'''[[Sigvald|Sigvald the Magnificent]]''': Chaos Lord [[A Song of Ice and Fire|Joffrey]]. Though he appears no more than a boy of sixteen, Sigvald the Magnificent has blighted the Old World for three centuries. The inbred child of a great Norse Chaos Lord and his own sister, Sigvald was spoiled with all he ever wished, it was only after his cannibalistic tendencies were revealed that the tribe forced him out. Feigning dismay, Sigvald sneaked into the longhouse and murdered his own father while he slept, fleeing then to the Chaos Wastes. The personification of beauty on the outside, but as horrifying as the lowest Spawn on the inside, Sigvald rides as Geld-Prince of the Decadent Host; an army of amorous madwomen and men who seek to attend his every debased whim. Marked by the Prince of Excess and gifted with Sliverslash, a blade forged from a sliver of the Sword of Slaanesh, it is clear to all that Sigvald the Magnificent is the greatest Champion of Slaanesh to walk the world. Recently tried to kill all the high Elves on the grounds that they must die for having better hair than him. (Seriously, this guy is pretty much Joffrey from [[A Song of Ice and Fire]]; both were born from brother-sister incest, both are handsome blonde men, both are arrogant and morally repulsive [[That Guy|shits]]. The difference is Sigvald is still alive and even more [[Grimdark]])

*'''[[Vilitch the Curseling]]''': Once upon a time, two twins were born. One of them was Thomin, a well-liked, well-built man who was a great warrior and whom everyone expected to become a great leader. The other was Vilitch, a twisted, decrepit freak whom everyone beat up and could only scrape by as some sorcerer's apprentice. Needless to say, Vilitch hated this setup and prayed to [[Tzeentch]] for him to switch the twins' destinies. Then, one Geheimnisnacht, the big bird answered and merged the twins together. Vilitch was now fused to Thomin's body and as a result became far smarter and more magically adept while Thomin became reduced to a braindead brute. The twin-abomination then decided to use this newfound power to murder all the people who made fun of him and used his magic to mentally enslave the mightiest warriors of his tribe.

*'''[[Festus the Leechlord]]''': Doctor, plaguemaster, and one of [[Nurgle]]'s favorite guys. Originally a good Nordland doctor who knew everything about how to cure diseases. He was then driven to insanity when he found himself incapable of curing a certain plague that swept the lands and in desperation, made a pact with the plague god in order to learn the knowledge needed to cure it. Sure, he got that knowledge, but he also turned so insane that he stopped caring about curing things and began a life of testing out all sorts of diseases and being a generally sick sack of shit (as most Nurglites are wont to). So he became basically the Dr Mengele of the Old World.

*'''[[Dragon Ogres|Kholek Suneater]]''': A FUCKING HUGE 4 legged dragon Ogre. He is a massive Beast armed with a HUUUGE THUNDER HAMMER who can crush dragons. He was a living battering ram who also managed to crush bloodthirsters.

===The Kurgan Tribes===

Not much is known about Kurgans, because they're generally overlooked by GW in favor of their Norscan brothers. Their location points to being Chaos Mongols. There is still some information, however:

*'''Khazags''': They're known as the guys who had first tamed the War Mammoths. [[Games Workshop|Creatively named after Kazakh nation.]]
*'''Dolgans''': [[That Guy|That Guys]] of Kurgan. They hate every other Chaos-affiliated tribe as much as the southerners and prefer to kill everyone who isn't Dolgan on sight. Some of them, thankfully, managed to avoid the Gods' corruption and now live in [[Kislev]], though their population is declining.
*'''[[Space Wolves|Iron Wolves]]''': An interesting tribe, because it's only partially Kurgan. These furries also have a Norse ancestry, descending from the vikings whose asses were kicked by [[Sigmar]] so hard they had to run to the [[Eastern Steppes]]. They are resented by both ancestral tribes and generally think of themselves as independent people.
*'''[[Asavar Kul|Kul]]''': Yeah, those Kul. They're probably the strongest Kurgan tribe that constantly raids the shit out of the neighbours and have a well-developed slavery system. They're also interesting for their complicated religious views, as they do not swear themselves to one of [[Chaos Gods|four major Gods]], instead [[Chaos Undivided|praying to hundred gods and seeking the favor of all of them.]] [[Black Legion|So, pretty much these guys.]] [[Asavar Kul]], Zar of the Kul, was the twelfth Everchosen of Chaos who fought during the [[Great War Against Chaos]] leading the Chaos forces. After Asavar died, his successor was usurped and murdered by [[Vardek Crom]], who is the current Zar.
*'''Tahmaks''', '''Tokmars''', '''Yusak''' etc.: really minor tribes that are barely mentioned in the lore.

===The Kurgan Characters===

*'''The Great Kurgan''': [[Jaghatai Khan|Genghis Khan]] of Kurgans who is only mentioned in [[Tamurkhan: Throne of Chaos]] supplements. He did the unthinkable and managed to unite all of the tribes, creating a truly gigantic empire that managed to beat Hung, [[Hobgoblin|Hobgoblins]] and [[Cathay]]. [[Awesome|Impressive.]] He was also the first Kurgan chieftain to make a deal with [[Chaos]] to get their power on his side, though eventually they fucked him over.
*'''Asavar Kul''': [[Gets shit done|gets shit done]]. Managed to cripple [[Kislev]] for centuries way before both [[Archaon]] and [[Abaddon|Failbaddon]] even managed to do something meaningful. Has his own [[Asavar Kul|page]].
*'''Tamurkhan''': a [[Nurgle|Nurglite]] warrior riding a toad, who is a protagonist of the narrative-driven campaign of the same name. Has his own [[Tamurkhan|page]].
*'''Surtha Lenk''': minor [[Tzeench|Tzeenchite]] warlord and the commander of [[Archaon|Archaon's]] vanguard. Took part in destruction of [[Kislev]] and [[Ostland]] during the [[End Times]].
*'''Vardek Crom''': current Kul chieftain (Zar) and the Herald of Everchosen. Has his own [[Vardek Crom|page]].

=== The Hung ===
{{topquote|Them Kurgan is bad. But the Hung, they jus’ nasty.|Gorg, famous [[Ogre Kingdoms|Ogre]] Philosopher}}

{{topquote|We make deal, yes? You give us gold and women, we no attack. You not give enough gold or women, so we attack. We attack anyway. We make deal, yes?|Average Hung diplomat, showing that even [[The Beast|some orks]] from the [[Warhammer 40,000|different setting]] are better in negotiations than them}}
The least described [[Chaos]] race, mainly for three reasons: they operate in [[Naggaroth]] and [[Eastern Lands]], and the incursions in those regions are described only in the short sentences of some backstory fluff; they're similar to their Kurgan brothers in almost everything; and finally, they're a [[Hobgoblin|pretty negative Mongolian stereotype]], although the fact they're also located in northwestern Naggaroth also could paint then as Chaos Inuits as well, and [[Games Workshop|GW]] certainly doesn't want another [[Pygmies (Warhammer Fantasy)|Pygmies]].

Overall, from what we can gather Hungs are savages and barbarians to the extreme: while previous Chaos races at least have some sort of society and culture, these people only exist to [[RIP AND TEAR|kill, slaughter, rape and fight]]. All they need is a woolen tent, a [[Choppa|choppa]] and a steed. Seriously, their love for <s>horses</s> ponies can only be rivaled by [[Bretonnia|Bretonnians]] (so... Chaos Bretonnians?). Another faction which they resemble are [[Skaven]]: Hungs are insanely backstabby and have no honor at all, to the point that "A Word of Hung" in [[Cathay]] means a "Worthless Promise". Hell, they even abuse the dogs that they use for hunting. [[That Guy|Bastards]]. Oh, and they're cannibals.

With that being said, what do we have in the end? The Hung are insanely evil barbarians that have no respect for anyone or anything and are hated by every other faction (including fellow Chaos Warriors). They have no redeeming qualities and rival Skaven for being the most evil race in the entire game. So, it's probably good that GW downplayed them severely.

Despite their name, they don't seem to favour Slaanesh more than any other Chaos God.

===The Tong===
Besides Norscans, Kurgans, and Hung, there are also the Tong. The Tong are the Chaos Warrior people who lives closest to the entrance to the Realm of Chaos, and as such are the most mentally fucked up and physically mutated of the lot. Complete and utter psychos.

== Gallery ==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Northlanders.jpg|WE FIGHT THE HORDE, SINGING AND CRYING; '''VALHALLA'''! I AM COMING!!
File:Chaos marauder by artofty-d3f5hof.jpg|KHORNE!! OPEN THE GATES OF YOUR HALL!!
File:Chaos Longships.jpg|Their main method of transportation.
File:Khorne-Art.jpg|Kjarl Deathaxe and the Blood Drinkers.
File:Wulfrik_Gif.jpg.gif|Wulfrik the Wanderer on a morning stroll.
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer/Tactics/Warriors of Chaos]] - A guide on how to lead these awesome barbarians to glory and bloodshed and the notice of the [[Chaos|Gods]].
*[[Viking|Vikings]] - What they are based off. Just in case you forgot.
*[[Chaos Space Marines]] - Their 40K counterparts.
*[[Chaos]] - What did they worship again?

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer Fantasy Battle}}

{{Chaos-Champions}}

Warriors of Chaos

2022-08-03T04:56:50Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* The Hung */

[[File:All_Fear_the_Wrath_of_the_Norscans.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Vikings FTW!]]
{{topquote|To the ordinary, we are unknowable. Fallen. Corrupted. Rightly feared. You cannot understand our orgins, our motives... the dawning realisation that we are ''not'' fallen. We. Are. '''Ascended.'''|[[Archaon|Archaon the Everchosen]]}}

{{topquote|Moving up and fighting the best keeps me hungry.|Nonito Donaire}}

{{topquote|Then I saw when the Lamb broke one of the seven seals, and I heard one of the four living creatures saying as with a voice of thunder, 'Come.' I looked, and behold, a white horse, and he who sat on it had a bow; and a crown was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer.|Revelation 6:1-2}}

[[Old School Roleplaying|Remember when the followers of the Dark Gods were badass Viking warriors in awesome looking plate armour]] and weren't [[Chaos Space Marines|emo Space Marines]] under the thrall of [[Abaddon|an armless failure]]? Remember when they were led by completely fucking crazy motherfuckers who wrestled fucking Bloodthirsters to the ground as a bloody initiation ritual and rode around on chariots pulled by skinless bears and rode horses fed on human flesh and watered down with blood and had awesome beards rivalled only by Dwarfs? Pepperidge Farm remembers. These are the '''Warriors of Chaos''' (formerly '''Hordes'''), the granddaddies of all that is [[Awesome]] in the Chaos Space Marines, the original Champions of Chaos.

Additionally, every time the words "devout", "cruel", "savage", and synonyms of those show up in the following article, take a swig. I can guarantee that you will at least be drunk (unless you are, in fact, a chaos warrior yourself, in which case you would need to drink a gallon for every derp on the [[Derp]] page (enough to get 6 fully packed Yankee stadiums completely hammered, in case you're wondering)). As you should be, considering you're reading about Vikings.

==Brief Foreword==
Nostalgia aside, you can't truly call yourself a fan of Chaos or Warhammer in general without having at least a cursory knowledge of these guys. These guys are the very essence of Warhammer: baroque plate armour, skulls, Vikings, mutations, Michael Moorcock, J.R.R Tolkien, Hieronymus Bosch, H.P Lovecraft and Heavy Metal; everything that was put in together and left to boil to produce the two most grimdark settings in the history of mankind is encapsulated in these guys. The first edition of Warhammer Fantasy had one of them displayed proudly on it, for Odin's sake (the now legendary [[Harry the Hammer]], the TRUE reason why Warhammer is called Warhammer, check out Harry's new model, it kicks ass). Like it or not, these guys were what forged Warhammer for a lot of people. To this day, no game based on it feels complete without dark armoured marauding warriors of the Nordic or [[Chaos Space Marine|sci-fi]] persuasion. So read on, and see their glory in full.

'''tl;dr''': '''MOTHERFUCKING CHAOS [[Viking|VIKINGS]], MAN!!!'''

If you watch some of the Viking shit that is part of the current minor renaissance in sword-and-longboat fantasy that's been going on in television lately, like ''The Last Kingdom'', you might think that the portrayal of Vikings is not that far off. And arguably, it isn't; they got up to some pretty [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle deranged Khornate shit]. But of course, history was written by the people who they were murder-raping in the name of <s>Khorne</s>Odin. It's pretty much beyond dispute, though, that theirs was a culture very much centered upon raiding (literally what ''viking'' means, more or less) and being a badass warrior; you couldn't get to Valhalla unless you died with a weapon in hand. (Drunken accident? Old age? Getting poisoned or stabbed in the back? Too bad, it's off to Niflheim, the domain of Hel--one 'l', that's after the goddess who reigned there, and no, it wasn't hot, it was motherfucking cold.) Pretty fucking Khornate if you ask me.

They are also the only non-Imperial Guard army to have not been fucked over completely beyond all redemption by the foul [[Cruddace]].

==Fantasy Overview==
In the beginning, the Old Ones came to the Warhammer World and set about doing their crazy magical genetic engineering bullshit. Then, for whatever non-reason the Polar Gates at the top and bottom of the world that they had constructed to ward off Chaos gave out and the world was corrupted and consumed by it. Depending on who you ask, either this event is what birthed Chaos and the Chaos Gods, or they came first and helped cause it. Who knows? The Old Ones fucked off, and left races of Dwarfs and Elves and Slaan. But a fourth creation also that was not fully equipped to resist the influence of Chaos, and of course, this was Man. Mankind was unfinished, and the warpstones that flew from the Northern polar wastes caused the acceleration of physical and cultural progress and, most importantly, of the human mind. The races of men gained a vigor and fire from the power of Chaos that drove them to great heights of glory and caused them to surpass the manufactured races of the Old Ones. In many ways, the history of Chaos ''is'' the history of mankind in the Warhammer world, serving as a dark reflection of what corrupted humanity can look like, the civilized soldiers and benevolent Order Gods of the South mirrored by the barbaric warriors and the cruel, fickle Chaos Gods of the North. It was only fitting that some tribes amongst Humanity would come to worship the various Gods of Chaos, namely the best-known four of them (and a long time ago [[Chaos Gods of Law|some others that GW sadly forgot about]] and [[Malal|another they were contractually forced to forget about.]])

The most notable of these was the Norsii. who would later be feared by all of the Old World as the fierce '''Norse''', the most brutal and devout worshipers of Chaos. They were joined by their cousins as well, the brutal '''Kurgan''' of the Eastern Steppes and the squat and ferocious (yet anatomically gifted in certain areas) '''Hung'''. These are the three Great Races of Men, for it is they alone who are favored by the mighty Gods. Together, they are the Northmen, and they shall make the World tremble.

On the tabletop, the Warriors of Chaos tend to be unstoppable close combat powerhouses (as they should be, they're Vikings), with little in the way of ranged fire support. Very melee oriented, even their sorcerers can be thrown into melee and be expected to hold their own. They have very powerful magic that can be used to supplement their incredible power. They have extremely powerful Lord choices who might very well be the most powerful generic lords in the game. They have a pretty high points cost, though, so you're going to be outnumbered. On the other hand, that shouldn't bother you too much because they're badasses. The problem is that you have a predictable play style and are more or less ineffective if you can't get into melee. Movement phases are important, especially in fantasy, so think about how you move your forces. Despite it being a predictable play style, it's still easy to grasp and simple to use, which also makes the Warriors a good starting army. Also, because of the low model count since these guys have a large point cost, it doesn't cost that much by GW standards to put a good army together. So, if you like Vikings in spiky armor, get the Warriors.

==The Men of the North==
The twisted northlands of [[Norsca]] and the [[Eastern Steppes]] straddle the line between mere mortality and the realm of the immortal, for they the closest of the realms to the foul Chaos Wastes and the portal that leads to the realm of the Chaos Gods. Known as Rainsheim amongst the Norse, and a dozen other names amongst those others who dare to treat with Chaos; Northman or Southman. The power of Chaos has corrupted all the lands of the world, but as the distance from the pole decreases, the influence of Chaos increases. And so, the men of Norsca and the Kurgan realms are saturated with the power of the gods.

The men who dwell in the Northlands are, for the most part, barbarous and savage compared to those who live in the settled lands to the south. They are not physically unlike other men and, in times of peace, merchants from the Norse and Kurgan can be found trading their wares in the markets of cosmopolitan cities such as Marienburg in the west and the Hung can be found doing the same in Weijin in the east. Yet, in some other forms, they are unlike their fellows to the South. For they worship evil Gods of Blood, Decay, Scheming, and Debauchery and live brutal, primitive lives of war. Most lamentably, they all live directly under the shadow of Chaos and are slaves to its Will.

Depending on what version of the lore you go with, not all of Norsca is enthralled to Chaos. Old material mentions tribes and whole kingdoms living and coexisting with the Southlands, some even taking to worshiping other Gods like [[Ulric]]. Some of these tribes are even mentioned as fighting Chaos and trying to steer their brethren away from falling victim to it. Again, this varies quite a bit between editions and even within editions themselves.

The men of the Northlands have many different gods. Most are daemons and valorous dead or ascended Champions of Chaos deified by their tribes (a practice especially common with the Norse) or manifestations of the natural world (as is common amongst the Kurgan), but all the Northmen owe their highest worship to the Four Great Gods of Chaos, whom they readily recognize as the masters of these lesser deities. The Northmen do not think of the Chaos Gods as evil, as the superstitious men of the South are wont to. But as individuals, they are as unpredictable as mortals. Thus, the Northmen reasonably maintain that such powerful entities are beyond the moral judgment of men. It is thus every warrior's duty to honour the gods in all walks of life. Such things are self-evident. To deny the gods and not worship them would be foolish, their existence in the North is a simple fact of life; evident in the mark of Khorne proudly displayed by a Norscan marauder as he leaps from his longship to savage Imperial soldiers with his daemonic strength, or in the mark of Tzeentch borne by a Kurgan rider as he fells a Kislevite warrior with his new-found blade of bone in place of a hand. To resent this state of affairs would be like resenting the sunrise or the wind - What would it accomplish?

The Four are known by many names amongst the people of the North. Nonetheless, all the Gods are recognized by them. And it is not uncommon for the tribes to choose one god amongst them as a patron (the Norse tribes commonly take Khorne as theirs, while some tribes of the Kurgan may choose Tzeentch) - who is seen as the father and protector of their kindred. Lesser gods and daemons are also worshiped, along with great heroes peculiar to a particular tribe who are often chieftains who died such glorious deaths that they were raised to sit beside the god of their tribe in eternal glory.

Though they may seem barely civil in times of peace, the Norse, Kurgan and Hung are vicious races of bloodthirsty warriors. Used to battling amongst themselves - war is their natural state and they wage it without concern or prejudice. They rejoice in battle and strength at arms, and honour the brave of both sides while despising the cowards likewise. Yet they are willing to forget their differences when the Gods command them to fight on their behalf. For there is no greater joy than to fight and die in the armies of the immortals.

===The Daemon Norse===
{{topquote|From the harsh snowlands they come. Blond of hair they are, and blue of eye, and tattoos upon arms and face and chest. Their eyes are mad with bloodlust, for blood they thirst for, driven forth on the whims of the Gods they seek to appease. Clad in but few garments and wielding clumsy, brutal axes and maces, they rage against the civilized lands of the south, burning, pillaging, looting all before them to offer up as sacrifice to their uncaring masters beyond the gates of hell in the Northern Wastes.|The Liber Chaotica as penned by Richter Kleiss, former Priest of Sigmar}}

The Norse of Norsca are the most brutal, fierce and savage followers of the Chaos Gods in the Warhammer world. They are the tallest, most physically strong race in the Old World, raised amongst a culture that respects only strength and the ability to kill and closeness to the Primordial Gods. All of Norsca is in the thrall of Chaos, corrupting the mountainous wasteland with the essence of change that seeps not only into man and beast but the very ground itself. Mutations are so common as to be universal among the Norscans, seen as signs of blessings from the Chaos Gods. Mighty warbands prowl the mainland and the horrific mountain ranges that connects the lands of the Norse to the Chaos Wastes. The seas about Norsca are filled with massive longships mastered by the terrible Chaos Champions and their kinsmen who stride the seas searching for either artefacts, purchase by which they may wage war against the weak southlings as demanded by their Gods, or merely any other ship to vent their rage upon. When the call to war is given, the Norse are always at the forefront, tearing down all opposition and cleaving the way into the weak lands of Sigmar. The Norse are always on the warpath, launching continuous and brutal sea raids upon the heavily fortified coast of the Northern Empire and northern Kislev.

It should come as little surprise that the Norsemen are the most fiercely devout followers of Khorne, the God of War. And it is from the Norse that the majority of Khorne's followers are derived. Many Norse Champions of Chaos go on to be the most favored of Khorne's warriors; Cormac Bloodaxe, Scyla Anfingrimm, Hogan Headhacker, Haargroth the Blooded, Arbaal the Undefeated, Valmir Aesling, Hrothgar Daemonaxe, Urlfdaemonkin -- all savage Norse warriors who have risen to pre-eminence in the eyes of the Blood God. In fact, Khorne's own consort, Valkia the Bloody, has risen from the brutal clans of the Norse.

With such a track record, it was obvious that the Imperials would deny any idea that the Norse are even remotely human. Most theories tend to focus on their favour from the Dark Gods and use that as the bedrock for all kinds of claims. Due to them being incredibly strong, very tall and all warriors (at least, all those encountered commonly by the Imperials are such) and devoted to the Dark Gods, Imperials have come to the conclusions that the Norse are a race of superhumans, or that they are daemons shaped as men, or are half-giants. The truth, shaded in the fantastic as it is, is still more interesting.

Contrary to what the Imperials historians zealously claim; they are not the first ones to settle in the Reik basin. Even the Bretonnians and the Nehekharans have held a portion of the land that would later become the heart of the Empire, and the ancestors of the Norse were no different. Known as the Norsii, their ancestral homeland was indeed the frozen Wastes of Norsca. But some of their kinsmen migrated South to the lands that would become part of the Empire. The Norsii were ever the mighty and favored warriors of Chaos, as their descendants are. They were prone to waging bloody and terrible war upon the southern tribes, particularly the Udoses, Teutogens and Roppsmenn. The Norsii's reign of terror was only stopped by the hosts of the southlings gathering to drive them back to their frozen homeland. But from there they would rejoin their kinsmen who still dwelt in the North and return to continue their depredations. It was only Sigmar himself who managed to finally drive the Norsii hordes from the Empire. And only barely. It is a telling thing that the first defeat Sigmar ever suffered came at hands of the vicious Norsmen, led by the ancient Chaos Lord of Khorne: Cormac Bloodaxe.

The Norse are amongst the most fearsome and most devoted warriors of Chaos, but they are also devoted to their tribal affiliations. The tribe forms the very core of the Norse identity, as they are not a unified people by any means, and thus have no concept of nationality. A Norscan will never call himself such. He will identify himself based on tribe and parentage. A Varg will see his loyalties extend only to his immediate tribe and to a much lesser extent, others under the same confederation. After all, even amongst the various so called High Tribes, multitudes of lesser tribes and families will exist. For instance, under the Aesling High Tribe, there exists many other lesser clans owing allegiance to it; such as the Gorehunt, the Snaegr, Skrae and Untam. The various Norscan clans are divided into two main blocks for easy reference based on geography; the Northern tribes and the Southern tribes.

===The Northern Norscan Tribes===
*'''[[Aeslings]]''': The most dreaded and terrifying and powerful of the Norse High Tribes are the Aeslings. They are the most savage and brutal men of Norsca. Even among the other Northernmost Northman tribes they are held in fear. Only favour from the Gods and strength and excellence at arms are valued. [[Grimdark|Thus, they are a people who respect only strength and infants who do not measure to their standards of physical perfection are murdered outright with little fuss.]] While reprehensible, this combined with their constant warfare on others has forged a race who are undoubtedly some of the greatest warriors of all the Northmen. Amongst the Aesling tribes, it is [[Khorne]] who is worshiped above all other Gods and it is not uncommon for tribes to dedicate themselves solely to him. For even amongst the Norsemen, the Aeslings are a people who thrive on war. While one Champion of Chaos may master a crew of marauders who bring ruination on Erengrad or Nordland, another might lead his people in slaughtering the Norse Dwarfs or even their own Norse kinsmen. Even the Kurgans to the east are not safe from the Aeslings' reckless thirst for death, for it is often that an Aesling Jarl will lead his murderous kinsmen in preying upon the many roving Kurgan tribes, slaughtering them and offering up their lives to the vicious Chaos Gods. Their lust for killing has won them no friends, what few allies they have are bound to them by only fear and intimidation, for much like the god they worship, the Aes care not whence the blood flows.

*'''[[Vargs]]''': Another Northern tribe. The Vargs are the most twisted in body and soul of the Norse; they claim the Northern tundras as their lands and fought many horrific beasts to claim it, such as giants, beastmen and daemons of Chaos. They have managed to domesticate the fearsome mammoths of that area, and will often bear them to battle as beasts of war. The Vargs have a blood hatred of the Kurgans that dates backs to untold stretches of ancient history. Time has done little to dampen their hate, and they often mount massive raids into the Kurgan lands, which are joined by Aesling mercenaries, that wreak great devastation of the men of the Eastern Steppes. The Vargs are also dedicated warriors of Khorne, like the Aeslings, and are viciously devoted to his creed of death. The Vargs are said to have come from distant lands and settled in Norsca, led by their greatest and most legendary chieftain; a mighty Chaos Lord of Khorne known as Hrothgar Daemonaxe, who led them in conquering land and enslaving weaker tribes. Hrothgar later went deeper into the realms of the Gods and ascended to Daemonhood. The Vargs know Khorne by the name of ''Arkhar''. One day, a band of horny Varg maraduers decided to trouble the southerners. So, they travelled from all the way from northernmost part of Norsca to Nordland, hellbent on giving them a huuge trouble. And they did. One of these maraduers saw a random fisherman's beautiful wife and thought ''By the [[Slaanesh|Serpent]], that woman is hot. I am going to [[Rape|have fun]] with her.'' [[Grimdark|So he did]]. The result was the birth of a certain devout Templar Knight of Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb. What was his name? His name was [[Archaon|Diederick Kastnar]]. Sounds familiar? This makes the Vargs indirectly responsible for the [[Rage|destruction of Warhammer World]]. In the video game [[Total War: WARHAMMER]], they have a faction up in the Northern Norsca led by a chieftain named Surtha ''[[Meme|'''"BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION!"''']]'' Ek, who is known for slaughtering Southerners with the use of massive chariot tactics.

*'''[[Graelings]]''': The last of the Northern Norse tribes and the most westerly of the Norse, close to Elven lands and prone to raiding those places. They come into conflict with Dark Elven corsairs frequently and the terror of the villages and fortresses of Klar Karond. Though it is also said that when they are not killing them, the Graelings sell slaves culled from the southern lands and Ulthuan to the Dark Elves. They do not gravitate to one Chaos God over another, but are, like most Northman tribes, prone to celebrating Chaos in all its glory. Haargroth the Blooded rose up from this tribe.

===The Southern Norscan Tribes===
*'''[[Skaelings]]''': Sea raiders without equal, the Skaelings are perhaps [[Ork Kommando|the most cunning of the Norse]]. They are the closest of the Chaos worshipers to the southern lands, so it is not uncommon to find them raiding the South. During the Storm of Chaos, Skaeling sea-raiders were utilized to great effectiveness by the Lord of the End Times in harrying and diverting the fleets of Brettonia and Nordland. In addition to their veneration of the Chaos Gods, the Skaelings also worship another daemonic deity known as Mermedus, who some Imperial theologians consider to be a Norscan interpretation of Manann. Though there is little in common with the mighty Imperial sea-god and the abominable daemon the Skaelings make human sacrifices to. Others have considered Mermedus to be the Chaotic reflection of Stromfells, another ill-tempered deity of the sea. interestingly, their name is not a reference to the Vikings themselves, but to the people who lived around the north American colony of vinland, who they called the Skrælings. So the Skaelings may not be chaos Vikings, but rather Chaos Inuit.

*'''[[Baersonlings]]''': A people who would not be odd living in the North of Norsca, the Baersonlings are tireless reavers who are proud of their martial prowess, which is truthfully legendary even amongst the Northmen. Though they are not quite as strong and fierce as the Aeslings, they war with them frequently. Their relations with the Kurgan tribes is similarly icy, and their lands often stretch into the fringes of the Eastern Steppes, which invites war. Not that this disturbs the Baersonlings, war is just another way to glorify the Chaos Gods. They are known for their copious body hair and a strange Chaos mutation that transforms them into unstoppable bear-like monstrosities. Beorg Bearstruck, a powerful Champion of Chaos, and his marauder tribe, the Bearmen of Urslo, are descended from this strain of the Norse nation.

*'''[[Sarls]]''': The Sarls are rugged barbarian warriors. Mighty and indomitable and devoted to the Dark Powers, they have distinguished themselves in the armies of the Chaos Gods often. Wulfrik the Wanderer, one of the greatest Champions of Chaos and executioner of the Chaos Gods rose from these people. The Sarl also destroyed the last and most terrible of the treeblood, using the bark harvested from the creature to create the second ''Seafang'' of [[Wulfrik the Wanderer|Wulfrik]] after the first was lost in a raid on the Elves. Oh and this clan was destroyed after Wulfrik fucked it up by killing the chieftain son and rival clan puppet leader to once again incite the civil war between the two.

*'''[[The Hobbit|Bjorn]]lings''': Little is known of this tribe. But among them are the Crow Brothers, devout warriors of Nurgle.

*'''[[Rotbloods]]''': A tribe of Nurgle worshippers, mentioned in [[Vermintide]] and an enemy faction in the sequel. A tribe driven to such desperation that they not only primarily worship Nurgle (rare for Norscans) but even thought it would be smart to [[derp|ally with]] [[Skaven]]. The champion Bovarr Ribspreader leads their war parties in the south. Thanks to the Skaven created Skittergate, they got to give Helmsgart an early preview of the End Times during the fighting, though they got smashed in [[Vermintide 2]] and Bödvarr was cut down.

===Famous Norse Chaos Champions===
"''I pity you and all the world, for amongst all the races of men, the gods favour we Norse alone''."

*'''[[Morkar the Uniter]]''': The First Everchosen of Chaos; Morkar was the survivor of an Imperial raid upon his village in the aftermath of the defeat of Cormac Bloodaxe's horde at the gates of Middenheim. He rose up to become the greatest Champion of Chaos of his generation and united the Norse tribes in his quest to gain the mark of the gods. He reaped many great conquests and honour and fear were heaped upon his name. No foe could withstand his rage in battle and no enemy was beyond his keen mind to defeat. Eventually, he was crowned as the Eternal Conqueror of the Gods by Be'lakor and led the vengeful Norsemen and their Kurgan allies in unmaking the decadent Empire. He was only defeated narrowly in single combat with Sigmar himself (pre retcon it was Aenarion who killed him). After his death, his body was taken by his kinsmen and buried in a great cairn in the Chaos Wastes. A sliver of Morkar's spirit remained in the armour long after his death, left to brood over his defeat and to forever curse the name of the cowardly Sigmar who derailed his great conquest by his craven single combat. (Let it never be said that, whatever his badass credentials, Morkar was NOT a sore loser.) Morkar the Uniter's rest was disturbed millennia after by his successor, Archaon, who sought the legendary indestructible armour of the First Everchosen in his quest for the 6 Treasures of Chaos; even in death, Morkar was too great for the Lord of the End Times to defeat in open battle. It was only by shouting a curse in the long dead tongue of the Unberogen tribe, the people of Sigmar, that Archaon was able to immobilize the reanimated armour of the dead Champion and defeat it, casting the last part of his spirit back to the Realm of Chaos and take the legendary armour for his own. To this day, Morkar's Chaos plate protects the Lord of the End Times, granting him the same incredible invulnerability as it did its former wearer.

*'''[[Cormac Bloodaxe]]''': One of the first great leaders of the Warriors of Chaos, and the first Champion of Chaos to be possessed by a greater daemon of Khorne. Cormac Bloodaxe, son of Varag Skulltaker, witnessed the rout of his people at the hand of the tyrant Sigmar. Though the Norsii fought fiercely and slew many despite their small numbers, Sigmar's forces were too numerous and his strange war-machines burned away the proud longships that carried the Norsemen in bringing ruination and desolation to the enemies of the Dark Gods of the North. The Norsii returned to their ancestral homeland of Norsca, and a molten core of hate and violence began to burn in Cormac's heart, which would lead him to becoming the greatest Chosen of Khorne and a force of such might and power that would reunite the tribes of Norsca into an unstoppable host that would crush the Empire of Sigmar. With the aid of the Norsii sorcerer, Kar Odacen, Cormac did bind the Norse tribes to his banner, reclaimed the ancient Chaos armour of his father, and bound a great daemon of Khorne to his axe. The eastern tribes of the Kurgan and Hung also prostrated themselves to the Norseman's banner and pledged their lives to his glory. Cormac's leadership saw the first decisive defeat the Imperials ever suffered, he had managed to match wits with Sigmar and defeated him utterly. At the behest of his sorcerer, Cormac was led to invade the City of the White Wolf. In spite of his better judgement which said to instead surround the city and isolate and pick off Sigmar's reinforcements from other southern tribes. Yet, Cormac was leader of the Norsii by the will of the Gods alone, and the Gods willed him to end the Empire with one fell stroke. Cormac's superior Norse warriors, drunk on the blessings of the Dark Gods, and strengthened with armies of daemons and beastmen assaulted Middenheim and victory was near. On the counsel of his shaman, Cormac offered himself up to become the sacrifice necessary to bring forth a Bloodthirster to break the final defenses of Middenheim. The Bloodthirster crossed blades with Sigmar and cast him down, readying for the killing stroke until Ulric himself intervened and cast the daemon into the Realm of Chaos. The Norsii later fled back to Norsca with this setback.

*'''[[Hrothgar Daemonaxe]]''': A great Chaos Lord dedicated to Khorne, first chieftain of the Vargs, and said to be as powerful as a mighty Bloodthirster in battle. It was Hrothgar who led the Vargs out from the East to settle the northern tundras of Norsca, destroying and enslaving weaker tribes of Norse and Kurgan on the way. Bearing a great daemonic battleaxe forged in the visage of a howling wolf, Hrothgar's favour from Arkhar the Wolf (the Varg name for Khorne) was clear. After his many victories were completed, he went to the Chaos Wastes and ascended to Daemonhood. To this day, Hrothgar Daemonaxe is venerated by all Vargs as a lesser deity of Chaos. And is believed to stand at the right hand of Khorne where he sternly judges the exploits of his people.

*'''[[Valmir Aesling]]''': King of the Aesling tribes, one time ally to Asavar Kul, self styled 'Emperor of Chaos' and bane of the Norse Dwarfs. Valmir Aesling was a ruthless and efficient leader of Men. Brooding and silent, save for the occasional and invariably fatal burst of temper. He was feared and renowned for punishing any insolence or slight with the most horrific tortures imaginable. When Asavar Kul was slain at the gates of Kislev (and there are rumours that Valmir himself might have done the deed, for a jagged blade was found impaled in Kul's skull), Valmir was fighting a secret, but no less bloody war against the Norse Dwarf holds. Valmir despised all the races of the Old World, except his own, and thus had long desired the destruction of the Dwarfs that hid in the southern mountains around his homeland of Norsca. Valmir swore an oath to Khorne: he would not rest until he had destroyed the Dwarfs by cutting out the heart of their nation, the hold of Kraka Drak. Valmir's Norse warriors faced the Dwarfs and soon both were locked in a vicious stalemate. But Valmir had planned the battle well, he had gained the allegiance of the Khornate Daemon Prince Aghask, who smashed aside the Dwarf's resistance in key areas, he had gained the aid of battalions of Chaos Knights from Troll Country who crushed the Dwarfen rearguard. Valmir himself charged across the field on his Chaos Chariot, pulled by six skinless bears, slaughtering all opposition to face the Norse Dwarf High King in battle. Valmir threw the severed heads of his champions before him and challenged him to single combat. Incensed at this barbarous affront to his people's honour, the Dwarf King accepted the Norse Lord's challenge. Both armies held their breath as their lords faced one another in a mighty duel. Though Valmir was more than thrice the Dwarf's height, he found himself evenly matched against the ancient, doughty king. Seeing that he could not defeat the Norse King, the Dwarf Lord shouted one word; ''"cannons!"''. Thus, did the Dwarfs fire the great canons of Kraka Drak, shattering the Norse Chaos Warriors and entombing both them and thousands of Dwarfs until the collapsed ruin of what was once the mightiest of the northern Dwarf cities. Both Valmir and the Dwarf King had fallen, slain not by each other's steel, but by snow and stone. Yet, the hold was indeed no more, and underneath the ruins, the hardened Norsemen continued on, methodically slaughtering the remaining Dwarfs. Valmir, albeit posthumously, had upheld his grim oath.

*'''[[Wulfrik the Wanderer]]''': Perhaps the greatest warrior to rise up from the Sarl tribes is Wulfrik the Wanderer, whose name is spoken in fearful whispers. Once a champion of Chaos Undivided amongst the Sarls who thwarted the armies of a great Aesling tribe and slew their king, a mighty Champion of Chaos known as Torgald, Wulfrik had made a drunken boast at the battle's end that he was greater than any warrior in this world or the next. After passing out from quaffing no less than 7 barrels of mead, Wulfrik found his dreams visited by an emissary of the Dark Gods he worshiped. The emissary told Wulfrik that the gods were displeased with his boastful tongue, but had seen fit to allow him to prove his arrogant words. When he awoke, Wulfrik found he had been marked by not one, but all of the four great gods of Chaos, and his tongue was re-shaped into a flitting, forked thing that allowed him to speak in any language. Wulfrik claimed his legendary longship, the Seafang, from the hoard of a Skaeling Chaos Sorceror who he slew in combat. From then on, Wulfrik would be known as the Inescapable One, travelling the hinterlands of the world to slay the fiercest creatures at the whims of the gods. Wulfrik is perhaps one of the greatest warriors in all the world, for he has slaughtered giants, dragons and merwyrms like cattle and even daemons have cowed before him and begged his mercy. He is the Executioner of the Chaos Gods, and is one of their most devout followers. To Khorne he offers up the skulls of those he has slain, to Slaanesh he gives their still-beating hearts, to Nurgle the contents of their slit guts, and Tzeentch he honours with their final breath.

*'''[[Valkia the Bloody]]''': The Sword-Maiden of the Blood God, the Bringer of Glory, the Chooser of the Slain and the Gorequeen of the Norse. Valkia is Khorne's servant who carries the spirits of worthy warriors so that they may fight on forever in the Blood God's Halls. The sagas of her people tell that she was once a mortal woman, a Norse queen of the ancient and long-dead Schwarzvolf tribe. She gained the favour of Khorne by slaying any who dared contest her claim in honourable battle and also by defeating the Champions of the lesser Chaos Gods. Foremost amongst these was Locephax, a daemon prince of Slaanesh who sought to enslave the warrior-queen. Valkia felt the berserker rage come upon her and she took up her great spear Slaupnir and struck down the daemon and affixed its severed head to her shield. Valkia then traveled to the uttermost North of the world and, with the fanaticism of the true believer, pledged herself utterly to the Axefather. Valkia almost succeeded in coming before her beloved god's throne, but was slain like countless others in the twisted hellscape of the realm of Chaos. Khorne was displeased, for he had great plans for the woman, and his bellowing fury was so thunderous that it shook the world and roused Valkia from death. Khorne was angry with her weak mortal form and remade her into a being more pleasing to him. A true vision of destructive power: great bloody wings tore out from her once shapely back, her legs were refashioned into those of a bloodletter and massive horns rose from her skull. Her only purpose now is to reap more skulls for her mighty lord and to choose the valorous Norsemen dedicated to Khorne who fall fight on at their god's side in the Realm of Chaos 'till his rage devours all that exists. When Valkia takes to the mortal skies, all the Norse tribes dedicated to Khorne march under her shadow, for they know that she will carry them to the realms beyond to be Khorne's chosen in the afterlife, a prize beyond all measure. Where she flies, whole lands are drenched in blood. Such is the power Khorne has granted her.

*'''[[Scyla Anfingrimm]]''': The Saga of the Gorebeast is a long and terrifying one amongst the savage Norse clans, the fame of the Talon of Khorne lives long in the songs sung by the Skalds of many a Norscan meadhall and in the terrified ramblings of those few Imperials who have born witness to the unstoppable fury of Scyla and survived. Tales told of a hulking beast the colour of blood who wears a massive bronze collar and is festooned with the blasphemous ritual marks of Khorne, and who lays low all who stand against him with its unquenchable thirst for death. Yet, it was not always so. For the greatest of Khorne's [[Chaos Spawn]] was once a man, '''once a man, ONCESSSSE A MAAAANNRGABLFARBLLEHC--'''--ahem--was once one of his greatest and most fearsome champions. Scyla Anfingrimm was the bane of the Old World from his homeland of frozen Norsca to the shores of distant Ind, his name synonymous with victory, slaughter and pillage. As a man, Scyla was marked by Khorne and elevated into the highest echelons of the god's favour; earning not only the respect of his tribesmen but all the raiders of the neighboring fjords. It was Scyla who single-handedly laid low the fearsome Jabberwock that plagued the River Voltag, and it was Scyla's daemonic greatsword that destroyed the tentacled beast that ruled the Bay of Blades. Every spring, he and his marauders would take to their longships and slaughter their way through the Empire, through Bretonnia and even as far south of Khemri. Returning from their raids drunk on blood and glory, the hulls of their ships filled to bursting with ancient treasures and slaves ready to be thrown upon sacrificial pyres dedicated to Khorne. The people of the Ironpelt would often chatter about how Scyla would soon ascend to daemonhood. They were right in a sense. After orchestrating the Massacre of Black Gulch, which caused the great chasm to run red with Skaven blood, Scyla was gifted with even greater physical strength and massive ape-like arms infused with the power of Chaos. Thanking the Axefather for his blessing, Scyla launched daring raids against the war-dhows of Dhuli armada, personally reducing their great flagship to splinters. This time, he was gifted a serpentine tail ending with a snapping maw. Scyla's merciless killing of the Chaos Dwarf delegation sent to trade with his tribe resulted in a great profusion of horn-like plates covering his mighty frame. After single-handedly annihilating the bestial Gorgers of the Undermountain, Khorne was so pleased with Scyla's might that he gifted the Champion with the mind of a ravenous beast. With that, Scyla's body spiraled out of control. His transformation into a Chaos Spawn was complete '''NO!!! GRISHIISOSKS'''. That day, Scyla fell from a feared and far-famed warlord. His warband fell to the leadership of his second-in-command and next most favoured of Khorne; Erlock One-Eye. Scyla was still afforded the same respect and honour from his companions, arguably moreso, for now he was a living sacrament to Khorne's power and might. Unlike other Chaos Spawn '''Not Again! GRAAAGH!''', Scyla remains the favoured of Khorne; a testament to his greatness in his former life. Scyla exists as he did before, only to fight and slaughter for the pleasure of his fearsome god. His destiny is only to mete out death against those foolish enough to face him.

*'''[[Sigvald|Sigvald the Magnificent]]''': Chaos Lord [[A Song of Ice and Fire|Joffrey]]. Though he appears no more than a boy of sixteen, Sigvald the Magnificent has blighted the Old World for three centuries. The inbred child of a great Norse Chaos Lord and his own sister, Sigvald was spoiled with all he ever wished, it was only after his cannibalistic tendencies were revealed that the tribe forced him out. Feigning dismay, Sigvald sneaked into the longhouse and murdered his own father while he slept, fleeing then to the Chaos Wastes. The personification of beauty on the outside, but as horrifying as the lowest Spawn on the inside, Sigvald rides as Geld-Prince of the Decadent Host; an army of amorous madwomen and men who seek to attend his every debased whim. Marked by the Prince of Excess and gifted with Sliverslash, a blade forged from a sliver of the Sword of Slaanesh, it is clear to all that Sigvald the Magnificent is the greatest Champion of Slaanesh to walk the world. Recently tried to kill all the high Elves on the grounds that they must die for having better hair than him. (Seriously, this guy is pretty much Joffrey from [[A Song of Ice and Fire]]; both were born from brother-sister incest, both are handsome blonde men, both are arrogant and morally repulsive [[That Guy|shits]]. The difference is Sigvald is still alive and even more [[Grimdark]])

*'''[[Vilitch the Curseling]]''': Once upon a time, two twins were born. One of them was Thomin, a well-liked, well-built man who was a great warrior and whom everyone expected to become a great leader. The other was Vilitch, a twisted, decrepit freak whom everyone beat up and could only scrape by as some sorcerer's apprentice. Needless to say, Vilitch hated this setup and prayed to [[Tzeentch]] for him to switch the twins' destinies. Then, one Geheimnisnacht, the big bird answered and merged the twins together. Vilitch was now fused to Thomin's body and as a result became far smarter and more magically adept while Thomin became reduced to a braindead brute. The twin-abomination then decided to use this newfound power to murder all the people who made fun of him and used his magic to mentally enslave the mightiest warriors of his tribe.

*'''[[Festus the Leechlord]]''': Doctor, plaguemaster, and one of [[Nurgle]]'s favorite guys. Originally a good Nordland doctor who knew everything about how to cure diseases. He was then driven to insanity when he found himself incapable of curing a certain plague that swept the lands and in desperation, made a pact with the plague god in order to learn the knowledge needed to cure it. Sure, he got that knowledge, but he also turned so insane that he stopped caring about curing things and began a life of testing out all sorts of diseases and being a generally sick sack of shit (as most Nurglites are wont to). So he became basically the Dr Mengele of the Old World.

*'''[[Dragon Ogres|Kholek Suneater]]''': A FUCKING HUGE 4 legged dragon Ogre. He is a massive Beast armed with a HUUUGE THUNDER HAMMER who can crush dragons. He was a living battering ram who also managed to crush bloodthirsters.

===The Kurgan Tribes===

Not much is known about Kurgans, because they're generally overlooked by GW in favor of their Norscan brothers. Their location points to being Chaos Mongols. There is still some information, however:

*'''Khazags''': They're known as the guys who had first tamed the War Mammoths. [[Games Workshop|Creatively named after Kazakh nation.]]
*'''Dolgans''': [[That Guy|That Guys]] of Kurgan. They hate every other Chaos-affiliated tribe as much as the southerners and prefer to kill everyone who isn't Dolgan on sight. Some of them, thankfully, managed to avoid the Gods' corruption and now live in [[Kislev]], though their population is declining.
*'''[[Space Wolves|Iron Wolves]]''': An interesting tribe, because it's only partially Kurgan. These furries also have a Norse ancestry, descending from the vikings whose asses were kicked by [[Sigmar]] so hard they had to run to the [[Eastern Steppes]]. They are resented by both ancestral tribes and generally think of themselves as independent people.
*'''[[Asavar Kul|Kul]]''': Yeah, those Kul. They're probably the strongest Kurgan tribe that constantly raids the shit out of the neighbours and have a well-developed slavery system. They're also interesting for their complicated religious views, as they do not swear themselves to one of [[Chaos Gods|four major Gods]], instead [[Chaos Undivided|praying to hundred gods and seeking the favor of all of them.]] [[Black Legion|So, pretty much these guys.]] [[Asavar Kul]], Zar of the Kul, was the twelfth Everchosen of Chaos who fought during the [[Great War Against Chaos]] leading the Chaos forces. After Asavar died, his successor was usurped and murdered by [[Vardek Crom]], who is the current Zar.
*'''Tahmaks''', '''Tokmars''', '''Yusak''' etc.: really minor tribes that are barely mentioned in the lore.

===The Kurgan Characters===

*'''The Great Kurgan''': [[Jaghatai Khan|Genghis Khan]] of Kurgans who is only mentioned in [[Tamurkhan: Throne of Chaos]] supplements. He did the unthinkable and managed to unite all of the tribes, creating a truly gigantic empire that managed to beat Hung, [[Hobgoblin|Hobgoblins]] and [[Cathay]]. [[Awesome|Impressive.]] He was also the first Kurgan chieftain to make a deal with [[Chaos]] to get their power on his side, though eventually they fucked him over.
*'''Asavar Kul''': [[Gets shit done|gets shit done]]. Managed to cripple [[Kislev]] for centuries way before both [[Archaon]] and [[Abaddon|Failbaddon]] even managed to do something meaningful. Has his own [[Asavar Kul|page]].
*'''Tamurkhan''': a [[Nurgle|Nurglite]] warrior riding a toad, who is a protagonist of the narrative-driven campaign of the same name. Has his own [[Tamurkhan|page]].
*'''Surtha Lenk''': minor [[Tzeench|Tzeenchite]] warlord and the commander of [[Archaon|Archaon's]] vanguard. Took part in destruction of [[Kislev]] and [[Ostland]] during the [[End Times]].
*'''Vardek Crom''': current Kul chieftain (Zar) and the Herald of Everchosen. Has his own [[Vardek Crom|page]].

=== The Hung ===
{{topquote|Them Kurgan is bad. But the Hung, they jus’ nasty.|Gorg, famous [[Ogre Kingdoms|Ogre]] Philosopher}}

{{topquote|We make deal, yes? You give us gold and women, we no attack. You not give enough gold or women, so we attack. We attack anyway. We make deal, yes?|Average Hung diplomat, showing that even [[The Beast|some orks]] from the [[Warhammer 40,000|different setting]] are better in negotiations than them}}
The least described [[Chaos]] race, mainly for three reasons: they operate in [[Naggaroth]] and [[Eastern Lands]], and the incursions in those regions are described only in the short sentences of some backstory fluff; they're similar to their Kurgan brothers in almost everything; and finally, they're a [[Hobgoblin|pretty negative Mongolian stereotype]], although the fact they're also located in northwestern Naggaroth also could paint then as Chaos Inuits as well, and [[Games Workshop|GW]] certainly doesn't want another [[Pygmies (Warhammer Fantasy)|Pygmies]].

Overall, from what we can gather Hungs are savages and barbarians to the extreme: while previous Chaos races at least have some sort of society and culture, these people only exist to [[RIP AND TEAR|kill, slaughter, rape and fight]]. All they need is a woolen tent, a [[Choppa|choppa]] and a steed. Seriously, their love for <s>horses</s> ponies can only be rivaled by [[Bretonnia|Bretonnians]] (so... Chaos Bretonnians?). Another faction which they resemble are [[Skaven]]: Hungs are insanely backstabby and have no honor at all, to the point that "A Word of Hung" in [[Cathay]] means a "Worthless Promise". Hell, they even abuse the dogs that they use for hunting. [[That Guy|Bastards]]. Oh, and they're cannibals.

With that being said, what do we have in the end? The Hung are insanely evil barbarians that have no respect for anyone or anything and are hated by every other faction (including fellow Chaos Warriors). They have no redeeming qualities and rival Skaven for being the most evil race in the entire game. So, it's probably good that GW downplayed them severely.

Despite their name, they don't seem to favour Slaanesh more than any other Chaos God.

== Gallery ==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Northlanders.jpg|WE FIGHT THE HORDE, SINGING AND CRYING; '''VALHALLA'''! I AM COMING!!
File:Chaos marauder by artofty-d3f5hof.jpg|KHORNE!! OPEN THE GATES OF YOUR HALL!!
File:Chaos Longships.jpg|Their main method of transportation.
File:Khorne-Art.jpg|Kjarl Deathaxe and the Blood Drinkers.
File:Wulfrik_Gif.jpg.gif|Wulfrik the Wanderer on a morning stroll.
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer/Tactics/Warriors of Chaos]] - A guide on how to lead these awesome barbarians to glory and bloodshed and the notice of the [[Chaos|Gods]].
*[[Viking|Vikings]] - What they are based off. Just in case you forgot.
*[[Chaos Space Marines]] - Their 40K counterparts.
*[[Chaos]] - What did they worship again?

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer Fantasy Battle}}

{{Chaos-Champions}}

Warriors of Chaos

2022-08-03T04:54:41Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* The Kurgan Tribes */

[[File:All_Fear_the_Wrath_of_the_Norscans.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Vikings FTW!]]
{{topquote|To the ordinary, we are unknowable. Fallen. Corrupted. Rightly feared. You cannot understand our orgins, our motives... the dawning realisation that we are ''not'' fallen. We. Are. '''Ascended.'''|[[Archaon|Archaon the Everchosen]]}}

{{topquote|Moving up and fighting the best keeps me hungry.|Nonito Donaire}}

{{topquote|Then I saw when the Lamb broke one of the seven seals, and I heard one of the four living creatures saying as with a voice of thunder, 'Come.' I looked, and behold, a white horse, and he who sat on it had a bow; and a crown was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer.|Revelation 6:1-2}}

[[Old School Roleplaying|Remember when the followers of the Dark Gods were badass Viking warriors in awesome looking plate armour]] and weren't [[Chaos Space Marines|emo Space Marines]] under the thrall of [[Abaddon|an armless failure]]? Remember when they were led by completely fucking crazy motherfuckers who wrestled fucking Bloodthirsters to the ground as a bloody initiation ritual and rode around on chariots pulled by skinless bears and rode horses fed on human flesh and watered down with blood and had awesome beards rivalled only by Dwarfs? Pepperidge Farm remembers. These are the '''Warriors of Chaos''' (formerly '''Hordes'''), the granddaddies of all that is [[Awesome]] in the Chaos Space Marines, the original Champions of Chaos.

Additionally, every time the words "devout", "cruel", "savage", and synonyms of those show up in the following article, take a swig. I can guarantee that you will at least be drunk (unless you are, in fact, a chaos warrior yourself, in which case you would need to drink a gallon for every derp on the [[Derp]] page (enough to get 6 fully packed Yankee stadiums completely hammered, in case you're wondering)). As you should be, considering you're reading about Vikings.

==Brief Foreword==
Nostalgia aside, you can't truly call yourself a fan of Chaos or Warhammer in general without having at least a cursory knowledge of these guys. These guys are the very essence of Warhammer: baroque plate armour, skulls, Vikings, mutations, Michael Moorcock, J.R.R Tolkien, Hieronymus Bosch, H.P Lovecraft and Heavy Metal; everything that was put in together and left to boil to produce the two most grimdark settings in the history of mankind is encapsulated in these guys. The first edition of Warhammer Fantasy had one of them displayed proudly on it, for Odin's sake (the now legendary [[Harry the Hammer]], the TRUE reason why Warhammer is called Warhammer, check out Harry's new model, it kicks ass). Like it or not, these guys were what forged Warhammer for a lot of people. To this day, no game based on it feels complete without dark armoured marauding warriors of the Nordic or [[Chaos Space Marine|sci-fi]] persuasion. So read on, and see their glory in full.

'''tl;dr''': '''MOTHERFUCKING CHAOS [[Viking|VIKINGS]], MAN!!!'''

If you watch some of the Viking shit that is part of the current minor renaissance in sword-and-longboat fantasy that's been going on in television lately, like ''The Last Kingdom'', you might think that the portrayal of Vikings is not that far off. And arguably, it isn't; they got up to some pretty [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle deranged Khornate shit]. But of course, history was written by the people who they were murder-raping in the name of <s>Khorne</s>Odin. It's pretty much beyond dispute, though, that theirs was a culture very much centered upon raiding (literally what ''viking'' means, more or less) and being a badass warrior; you couldn't get to Valhalla unless you died with a weapon in hand. (Drunken accident? Old age? Getting poisoned or stabbed in the back? Too bad, it's off to Niflheim, the domain of Hel--one 'l', that's after the goddess who reigned there, and no, it wasn't hot, it was motherfucking cold.) Pretty fucking Khornate if you ask me.

They are also the only non-Imperial Guard army to have not been fucked over completely beyond all redemption by the foul [[Cruddace]].

==Fantasy Overview==
In the beginning, the Old Ones came to the Warhammer World and set about doing their crazy magical genetic engineering bullshit. Then, for whatever non-reason the Polar Gates at the top and bottom of the world that they had constructed to ward off Chaos gave out and the world was corrupted and consumed by it. Depending on who you ask, either this event is what birthed Chaos and the Chaos Gods, or they came first and helped cause it. Who knows? The Old Ones fucked off, and left races of Dwarfs and Elves and Slaan. But a fourth creation also that was not fully equipped to resist the influence of Chaos, and of course, this was Man. Mankind was unfinished, and the warpstones that flew from the Northern polar wastes caused the acceleration of physical and cultural progress and, most importantly, of the human mind. The races of men gained a vigor and fire from the power of Chaos that drove them to great heights of glory and caused them to surpass the manufactured races of the Old Ones. In many ways, the history of Chaos ''is'' the history of mankind in the Warhammer world, serving as a dark reflection of what corrupted humanity can look like, the civilized soldiers and benevolent Order Gods of the South mirrored by the barbaric warriors and the cruel, fickle Chaos Gods of the North. It was only fitting that some tribes amongst Humanity would come to worship the various Gods of Chaos, namely the best-known four of them (and a long time ago [[Chaos Gods of Law|some others that GW sadly forgot about]] and [[Malal|another they were contractually forced to forget about.]])

The most notable of these was the Norsii. who would later be feared by all of the Old World as the fierce '''Norse''', the most brutal and devout worshipers of Chaos. They were joined by their cousins as well, the brutal '''Kurgan''' of the Eastern Steppes and the squat and ferocious (yet anatomically gifted in certain areas) '''Hung'''. These are the three Great Races of Men, for it is they alone who are favored by the mighty Gods. Together, they are the Northmen, and they shall make the World tremble.

On the tabletop, the Warriors of Chaos tend to be unstoppable close combat powerhouses (as they should be, they're Vikings), with little in the way of ranged fire support. Very melee oriented, even their sorcerers can be thrown into melee and be expected to hold their own. They have very powerful magic that can be used to supplement their incredible power. They have extremely powerful Lord choices who might very well be the most powerful generic lords in the game. They have a pretty high points cost, though, so you're going to be outnumbered. On the other hand, that shouldn't bother you too much because they're badasses. The problem is that you have a predictable play style and are more or less ineffective if you can't get into melee. Movement phases are important, especially in fantasy, so think about how you move your forces. Despite it being a predictable play style, it's still easy to grasp and simple to use, which also makes the Warriors a good starting army. Also, because of the low model count since these guys have a large point cost, it doesn't cost that much by GW standards to put a good army together. So, if you like Vikings in spiky armor, get the Warriors.

==The Men of the North==
The twisted northlands of [[Norsca]] and the [[Eastern Steppes]] straddle the line between mere mortality and the realm of the immortal, for they the closest of the realms to the foul Chaos Wastes and the portal that leads to the realm of the Chaos Gods. Known as Rainsheim amongst the Norse, and a dozen other names amongst those others who dare to treat with Chaos; Northman or Southman. The power of Chaos has corrupted all the lands of the world, but as the distance from the pole decreases, the influence of Chaos increases. And so, the men of Norsca and the Kurgan realms are saturated with the power of the gods.

The men who dwell in the Northlands are, for the most part, barbarous and savage compared to those who live in the settled lands to the south. They are not physically unlike other men and, in times of peace, merchants from the Norse and Kurgan can be found trading their wares in the markets of cosmopolitan cities such as Marienburg in the west and the Hung can be found doing the same in Weijin in the east. Yet, in some other forms, they are unlike their fellows to the South. For they worship evil Gods of Blood, Decay, Scheming, and Debauchery and live brutal, primitive lives of war. Most lamentably, they all live directly under the shadow of Chaos and are slaves to its Will.

Depending on what version of the lore you go with, not all of Norsca is enthralled to Chaos. Old material mentions tribes and whole kingdoms living and coexisting with the Southlands, some even taking to worshiping other Gods like [[Ulric]]. Some of these tribes are even mentioned as fighting Chaos and trying to steer their brethren away from falling victim to it. Again, this varies quite a bit between editions and even within editions themselves.

The men of the Northlands have many different gods. Most are daemons and valorous dead or ascended Champions of Chaos deified by their tribes (a practice especially common with the Norse) or manifestations of the natural world (as is common amongst the Kurgan), but all the Northmen owe their highest worship to the Four Great Gods of Chaos, whom they readily recognize as the masters of these lesser deities. The Northmen do not think of the Chaos Gods as evil, as the superstitious men of the South are wont to. But as individuals, they are as unpredictable as mortals. Thus, the Northmen reasonably maintain that such powerful entities are beyond the moral judgment of men. It is thus every warrior's duty to honour the gods in all walks of life. Such things are self-evident. To deny the gods and not worship them would be foolish, their existence in the North is a simple fact of life; evident in the mark of Khorne proudly displayed by a Norscan marauder as he leaps from his longship to savage Imperial soldiers with his daemonic strength, or in the mark of Tzeentch borne by a Kurgan rider as he fells a Kislevite warrior with his new-found blade of bone in place of a hand. To resent this state of affairs would be like resenting the sunrise or the wind - What would it accomplish?

The Four are known by many names amongst the people of the North. Nonetheless, all the Gods are recognized by them. And it is not uncommon for the tribes to choose one god amongst them as a patron (the Norse tribes commonly take Khorne as theirs, while some tribes of the Kurgan may choose Tzeentch) - who is seen as the father and protector of their kindred. Lesser gods and daemons are also worshiped, along with great heroes peculiar to a particular tribe who are often chieftains who died such glorious deaths that they were raised to sit beside the god of their tribe in eternal glory.

Though they may seem barely civil in times of peace, the Norse, Kurgan and Hung are vicious races of bloodthirsty warriors. Used to battling amongst themselves - war is their natural state and they wage it without concern or prejudice. They rejoice in battle and strength at arms, and honour the brave of both sides while despising the cowards likewise. Yet they are willing to forget their differences when the Gods command them to fight on their behalf. For there is no greater joy than to fight and die in the armies of the immortals.

===The Daemon Norse===
{{topquote|From the harsh snowlands they come. Blond of hair they are, and blue of eye, and tattoos upon arms and face and chest. Their eyes are mad with bloodlust, for blood they thirst for, driven forth on the whims of the Gods they seek to appease. Clad in but few garments and wielding clumsy, brutal axes and maces, they rage against the civilized lands of the south, burning, pillaging, looting all before them to offer up as sacrifice to their uncaring masters beyond the gates of hell in the Northern Wastes.|The Liber Chaotica as penned by Richter Kleiss, former Priest of Sigmar}}

The Norse of Norsca are the most brutal, fierce and savage followers of the Chaos Gods in the Warhammer world. They are the tallest, most physically strong race in the Old World, raised amongst a culture that respects only strength and the ability to kill and closeness to the Primordial Gods. All of Norsca is in the thrall of Chaos, corrupting the mountainous wasteland with the essence of change that seeps not only into man and beast but the very ground itself. Mutations are so common as to be universal among the Norscans, seen as signs of blessings from the Chaos Gods. Mighty warbands prowl the mainland and the horrific mountain ranges that connects the lands of the Norse to the Chaos Wastes. The seas about Norsca are filled with massive longships mastered by the terrible Chaos Champions and their kinsmen who stride the seas searching for either artefacts, purchase by which they may wage war against the weak southlings as demanded by their Gods, or merely any other ship to vent their rage upon. When the call to war is given, the Norse are always at the forefront, tearing down all opposition and cleaving the way into the weak lands of Sigmar. The Norse are always on the warpath, launching continuous and brutal sea raids upon the heavily fortified coast of the Northern Empire and northern Kislev.

It should come as little surprise that the Norsemen are the most fiercely devout followers of Khorne, the God of War. And it is from the Norse that the majority of Khorne's followers are derived. Many Norse Champions of Chaos go on to be the most favored of Khorne's warriors; Cormac Bloodaxe, Scyla Anfingrimm, Hogan Headhacker, Haargroth the Blooded, Arbaal the Undefeated, Valmir Aesling, Hrothgar Daemonaxe, Urlfdaemonkin -- all savage Norse warriors who have risen to pre-eminence in the eyes of the Blood God. In fact, Khorne's own consort, Valkia the Bloody, has risen from the brutal clans of the Norse.

With such a track record, it was obvious that the Imperials would deny any idea that the Norse are even remotely human. Most theories tend to focus on their favour from the Dark Gods and use that as the bedrock for all kinds of claims. Due to them being incredibly strong, very tall and all warriors (at least, all those encountered commonly by the Imperials are such) and devoted to the Dark Gods, Imperials have come to the conclusions that the Norse are a race of superhumans, or that they are daemons shaped as men, or are half-giants. The truth, shaded in the fantastic as it is, is still more interesting.

Contrary to what the Imperials historians zealously claim; they are not the first ones to settle in the Reik basin. Even the Bretonnians and the Nehekharans have held a portion of the land that would later become the heart of the Empire, and the ancestors of the Norse were no different. Known as the Norsii, their ancestral homeland was indeed the frozen Wastes of Norsca. But some of their kinsmen migrated South to the lands that would become part of the Empire. The Norsii were ever the mighty and favored warriors of Chaos, as their descendants are. They were prone to waging bloody and terrible war upon the southern tribes, particularly the Udoses, Teutogens and Roppsmenn. The Norsii's reign of terror was only stopped by the hosts of the southlings gathering to drive them back to their frozen homeland. But from there they would rejoin their kinsmen who still dwelt in the North and return to continue their depredations. It was only Sigmar himself who managed to finally drive the Norsii hordes from the Empire. And only barely. It is a telling thing that the first defeat Sigmar ever suffered came at hands of the vicious Norsmen, led by the ancient Chaos Lord of Khorne: Cormac Bloodaxe.

The Norse are amongst the most fearsome and most devoted warriors of Chaos, but they are also devoted to their tribal affiliations. The tribe forms the very core of the Norse identity, as they are not a unified people by any means, and thus have no concept of nationality. A Norscan will never call himself such. He will identify himself based on tribe and parentage. A Varg will see his loyalties extend only to his immediate tribe and to a much lesser extent, others under the same confederation. After all, even amongst the various so called High Tribes, multitudes of lesser tribes and families will exist. For instance, under the Aesling High Tribe, there exists many other lesser clans owing allegiance to it; such as the Gorehunt, the Snaegr, Skrae and Untam. The various Norscan clans are divided into two main blocks for easy reference based on geography; the Northern tribes and the Southern tribes.

===The Northern Norscan Tribes===
*'''[[Aeslings]]''': The most dreaded and terrifying and powerful of the Norse High Tribes are the Aeslings. They are the most savage and brutal men of Norsca. Even among the other Northernmost Northman tribes they are held in fear. Only favour from the Gods and strength and excellence at arms are valued. [[Grimdark|Thus, they are a people who respect only strength and infants who do not measure to their standards of physical perfection are murdered outright with little fuss.]] While reprehensible, this combined with their constant warfare on others has forged a race who are undoubtedly some of the greatest warriors of all the Northmen. Amongst the Aesling tribes, it is [[Khorne]] who is worshiped above all other Gods and it is not uncommon for tribes to dedicate themselves solely to him. For even amongst the Norsemen, the Aeslings are a people who thrive on war. While one Champion of Chaos may master a crew of marauders who bring ruination on Erengrad or Nordland, another might lead his people in slaughtering the Norse Dwarfs or even their own Norse kinsmen. Even the Kurgans to the east are not safe from the Aeslings' reckless thirst for death, for it is often that an Aesling Jarl will lead his murderous kinsmen in preying upon the many roving Kurgan tribes, slaughtering them and offering up their lives to the vicious Chaos Gods. Their lust for killing has won them no friends, what few allies they have are bound to them by only fear and intimidation, for much like the god they worship, the Aes care not whence the blood flows.

*'''[[Vargs]]''': Another Northern tribe. The Vargs are the most twisted in body and soul of the Norse; they claim the Northern tundras as their lands and fought many horrific beasts to claim it, such as giants, beastmen and daemons of Chaos. They have managed to domesticate the fearsome mammoths of that area, and will often bear them to battle as beasts of war. The Vargs have a blood hatred of the Kurgans that dates backs to untold stretches of ancient history. Time has done little to dampen their hate, and they often mount massive raids into the Kurgan lands, which are joined by Aesling mercenaries, that wreak great devastation of the men of the Eastern Steppes. The Vargs are also dedicated warriors of Khorne, like the Aeslings, and are viciously devoted to his creed of death. The Vargs are said to have come from distant lands and settled in Norsca, led by their greatest and most legendary chieftain; a mighty Chaos Lord of Khorne known as Hrothgar Daemonaxe, who led them in conquering land and enslaving weaker tribes. Hrothgar later went deeper into the realms of the Gods and ascended to Daemonhood. The Vargs know Khorne by the name of ''Arkhar''. One day, a band of horny Varg maraduers decided to trouble the southerners. So, they travelled from all the way from northernmost part of Norsca to Nordland, hellbent on giving them a huuge trouble. And they did. One of these maraduers saw a random fisherman's beautiful wife and thought ''By the [[Slaanesh|Serpent]], that woman is hot. I am going to [[Rape|have fun]] with her.'' [[Grimdark|So he did]]. The result was the birth of a certain devout Templar Knight of Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb. What was his name? His name was [[Archaon|Diederick Kastnar]]. Sounds familiar? This makes the Vargs indirectly responsible for the [[Rage|destruction of Warhammer World]]. In the video game [[Total War: WARHAMMER]], they have a faction up in the Northern Norsca led by a chieftain named Surtha ''[[Meme|'''"BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION!"''']]'' Ek, who is known for slaughtering Southerners with the use of massive chariot tactics.

*'''[[Graelings]]''': The last of the Northern Norse tribes and the most westerly of the Norse, close to Elven lands and prone to raiding those places. They come into conflict with Dark Elven corsairs frequently and the terror of the villages and fortresses of Klar Karond. Though it is also said that when they are not killing them, the Graelings sell slaves culled from the southern lands and Ulthuan to the Dark Elves. They do not gravitate to one Chaos God over another, but are, like most Northman tribes, prone to celebrating Chaos in all its glory. Haargroth the Blooded rose up from this tribe.

===The Southern Norscan Tribes===
*'''[[Skaelings]]''': Sea raiders without equal, the Skaelings are perhaps [[Ork Kommando|the most cunning of the Norse]]. They are the closest of the Chaos worshipers to the southern lands, so it is not uncommon to find them raiding the South. During the Storm of Chaos, Skaeling sea-raiders were utilized to great effectiveness by the Lord of the End Times in harrying and diverting the fleets of Brettonia and Nordland. In addition to their veneration of the Chaos Gods, the Skaelings also worship another daemonic deity known as Mermedus, who some Imperial theologians consider to be a Norscan interpretation of Manann. Though there is little in common with the mighty Imperial sea-god and the abominable daemon the Skaelings make human sacrifices to. Others have considered Mermedus to be the Chaotic reflection of Stromfells, another ill-tempered deity of the sea. interestingly, their name is not a reference to the Vikings themselves, but to the people who lived around the north American colony of vinland, who they called the Skrælings. So the Skaelings may not be chaos Vikings, but rather Chaos Inuit.

*'''[[Baersonlings]]''': A people who would not be odd living in the North of Norsca, the Baersonlings are tireless reavers who are proud of their martial prowess, which is truthfully legendary even amongst the Northmen. Though they are not quite as strong and fierce as the Aeslings, they war with them frequently. Their relations with the Kurgan tribes is similarly icy, and their lands often stretch into the fringes of the Eastern Steppes, which invites war. Not that this disturbs the Baersonlings, war is just another way to glorify the Chaos Gods. They are known for their copious body hair and a strange Chaos mutation that transforms them into unstoppable bear-like monstrosities. Beorg Bearstruck, a powerful Champion of Chaos, and his marauder tribe, the Bearmen of Urslo, are descended from this strain of the Norse nation.

*'''[[Sarls]]''': The Sarls are rugged barbarian warriors. Mighty and indomitable and devoted to the Dark Powers, they have distinguished themselves in the armies of the Chaos Gods often. Wulfrik the Wanderer, one of the greatest Champions of Chaos and executioner of the Chaos Gods rose from these people. The Sarl also destroyed the last and most terrible of the treeblood, using the bark harvested from the creature to create the second ''Seafang'' of [[Wulfrik the Wanderer|Wulfrik]] after the first was lost in a raid on the Elves. Oh and this clan was destroyed after Wulfrik fucked it up by killing the chieftain son and rival clan puppet leader to once again incite the civil war between the two.

*'''[[The Hobbit|Bjorn]]lings''': Little is known of this tribe. But among them are the Crow Brothers, devout warriors of Nurgle.

*'''[[Rotbloods]]''': A tribe of Nurgle worshippers, mentioned in [[Vermintide]] and an enemy faction in the sequel. A tribe driven to such desperation that they not only primarily worship Nurgle (rare for Norscans) but even thought it would be smart to [[derp|ally with]] [[Skaven]]. The champion Bovarr Ribspreader leads their war parties in the south. Thanks to the Skaven created Skittergate, they got to give Helmsgart an early preview of the End Times during the fighting, though they got smashed in [[Vermintide 2]] and Bödvarr was cut down.

===Famous Norse Chaos Champions===
"''I pity you and all the world, for amongst all the races of men, the gods favour we Norse alone''."

*'''[[Morkar the Uniter]]''': The First Everchosen of Chaos; Morkar was the survivor of an Imperial raid upon his village in the aftermath of the defeat of Cormac Bloodaxe's horde at the gates of Middenheim. He rose up to become the greatest Champion of Chaos of his generation and united the Norse tribes in his quest to gain the mark of the gods. He reaped many great conquests and honour and fear were heaped upon his name. No foe could withstand his rage in battle and no enemy was beyond his keen mind to defeat. Eventually, he was crowned as the Eternal Conqueror of the Gods by Be'lakor and led the vengeful Norsemen and their Kurgan allies in unmaking the decadent Empire. He was only defeated narrowly in single combat with Sigmar himself (pre retcon it was Aenarion who killed him). After his death, his body was taken by his kinsmen and buried in a great cairn in the Chaos Wastes. A sliver of Morkar's spirit remained in the armour long after his death, left to brood over his defeat and to forever curse the name of the cowardly Sigmar who derailed his great conquest by his craven single combat. (Let it never be said that, whatever his badass credentials, Morkar was NOT a sore loser.) Morkar the Uniter's rest was disturbed millennia after by his successor, Archaon, who sought the legendary indestructible armour of the First Everchosen in his quest for the 6 Treasures of Chaos; even in death, Morkar was too great for the Lord of the End Times to defeat in open battle. It was only by shouting a curse in the long dead tongue of the Unberogen tribe, the people of Sigmar, that Archaon was able to immobilize the reanimated armour of the dead Champion and defeat it, casting the last part of his spirit back to the Realm of Chaos and take the legendary armour for his own. To this day, Morkar's Chaos plate protects the Lord of the End Times, granting him the same incredible invulnerability as it did its former wearer.

*'''[[Cormac Bloodaxe]]''': One of the first great leaders of the Warriors of Chaos, and the first Champion of Chaos to be possessed by a greater daemon of Khorne. Cormac Bloodaxe, son of Varag Skulltaker, witnessed the rout of his people at the hand of the tyrant Sigmar. Though the Norsii fought fiercely and slew many despite their small numbers, Sigmar's forces were too numerous and his strange war-machines burned away the proud longships that carried the Norsemen in bringing ruination and desolation to the enemies of the Dark Gods of the North. The Norsii returned to their ancestral homeland of Norsca, and a molten core of hate and violence began to burn in Cormac's heart, which would lead him to becoming the greatest Chosen of Khorne and a force of such might and power that would reunite the tribes of Norsca into an unstoppable host that would crush the Empire of Sigmar. With the aid of the Norsii sorcerer, Kar Odacen, Cormac did bind the Norse tribes to his banner, reclaimed the ancient Chaos armour of his father, and bound a great daemon of Khorne to his axe. The eastern tribes of the Kurgan and Hung also prostrated themselves to the Norseman's banner and pledged their lives to his glory. Cormac's leadership saw the first decisive defeat the Imperials ever suffered, he had managed to match wits with Sigmar and defeated him utterly. At the behest of his sorcerer, Cormac was led to invade the City of the White Wolf. In spite of his better judgement which said to instead surround the city and isolate and pick off Sigmar's reinforcements from other southern tribes. Yet, Cormac was leader of the Norsii by the will of the Gods alone, and the Gods willed him to end the Empire with one fell stroke. Cormac's superior Norse warriors, drunk on the blessings of the Dark Gods, and strengthened with armies of daemons and beastmen assaulted Middenheim and victory was near. On the counsel of his shaman, Cormac offered himself up to become the sacrifice necessary to bring forth a Bloodthirster to break the final defenses of Middenheim. The Bloodthirster crossed blades with Sigmar and cast him down, readying for the killing stroke until Ulric himself intervened and cast the daemon into the Realm of Chaos. The Norsii later fled back to Norsca with this setback.

*'''[[Hrothgar Daemonaxe]]''': A great Chaos Lord dedicated to Khorne, first chieftain of the Vargs, and said to be as powerful as a mighty Bloodthirster in battle. It was Hrothgar who led the Vargs out from the East to settle the northern tundras of Norsca, destroying and enslaving weaker tribes of Norse and Kurgan on the way. Bearing a great daemonic battleaxe forged in the visage of a howling wolf, Hrothgar's favour from Arkhar the Wolf (the Varg name for Khorne) was clear. After his many victories were completed, he went to the Chaos Wastes and ascended to Daemonhood. To this day, Hrothgar Daemonaxe is venerated by all Vargs as a lesser deity of Chaos. And is believed to stand at the right hand of Khorne where he sternly judges the exploits of his people.

*'''[[Valmir Aesling]]''': King of the Aesling tribes, one time ally to Asavar Kul, self styled 'Emperor of Chaos' and bane of the Norse Dwarfs. Valmir Aesling was a ruthless and efficient leader of Men. Brooding and silent, save for the occasional and invariably fatal burst of temper. He was feared and renowned for punishing any insolence or slight with the most horrific tortures imaginable. When Asavar Kul was slain at the gates of Kislev (and there are rumours that Valmir himself might have done the deed, for a jagged blade was found impaled in Kul's skull), Valmir was fighting a secret, but no less bloody war against the Norse Dwarf holds. Valmir despised all the races of the Old World, except his own, and thus had long desired the destruction of the Dwarfs that hid in the southern mountains around his homeland of Norsca. Valmir swore an oath to Khorne: he would not rest until he had destroyed the Dwarfs by cutting out the heart of their nation, the hold of Kraka Drak. Valmir's Norse warriors faced the Dwarfs and soon both were locked in a vicious stalemate. But Valmir had planned the battle well, he had gained the allegiance of the Khornate Daemon Prince Aghask, who smashed aside the Dwarf's resistance in key areas, he had gained the aid of battalions of Chaos Knights from Troll Country who crushed the Dwarfen rearguard. Valmir himself charged across the field on his Chaos Chariot, pulled by six skinless bears, slaughtering all opposition to face the Norse Dwarf High King in battle. Valmir threw the severed heads of his champions before him and challenged him to single combat. Incensed at this barbarous affront to his people's honour, the Dwarf King accepted the Norse Lord's challenge. Both armies held their breath as their lords faced one another in a mighty duel. Though Valmir was more than thrice the Dwarf's height, he found himself evenly matched against the ancient, doughty king. Seeing that he could not defeat the Norse King, the Dwarf Lord shouted one word; ''"cannons!"''. Thus, did the Dwarfs fire the great canons of Kraka Drak, shattering the Norse Chaos Warriors and entombing both them and thousands of Dwarfs until the collapsed ruin of what was once the mightiest of the northern Dwarf cities. Both Valmir and the Dwarf King had fallen, slain not by each other's steel, but by snow and stone. Yet, the hold was indeed no more, and underneath the ruins, the hardened Norsemen continued on, methodically slaughtering the remaining Dwarfs. Valmir, albeit posthumously, had upheld his grim oath.

*'''[[Wulfrik the Wanderer]]''': Perhaps the greatest warrior to rise up from the Sarl tribes is Wulfrik the Wanderer, whose name is spoken in fearful whispers. Once a champion of Chaos Undivided amongst the Sarls who thwarted the armies of a great Aesling tribe and slew their king, a mighty Champion of Chaos known as Torgald, Wulfrik had made a drunken boast at the battle's end that he was greater than any warrior in this world or the next. After passing out from quaffing no less than 7 barrels of mead, Wulfrik found his dreams visited by an emissary of the Dark Gods he worshiped. The emissary told Wulfrik that the gods were displeased with his boastful tongue, but had seen fit to allow him to prove his arrogant words. When he awoke, Wulfrik found he had been marked by not one, but all of the four great gods of Chaos, and his tongue was re-shaped into a flitting, forked thing that allowed him to speak in any language. Wulfrik claimed his legendary longship, the Seafang, from the hoard of a Skaeling Chaos Sorceror who he slew in combat. From then on, Wulfrik would be known as the Inescapable One, travelling the hinterlands of the world to slay the fiercest creatures at the whims of the gods. Wulfrik is perhaps one of the greatest warriors in all the world, for he has slaughtered giants, dragons and merwyrms like cattle and even daemons have cowed before him and begged his mercy. He is the Executioner of the Chaos Gods, and is one of their most devout followers. To Khorne he offers up the skulls of those he has slain, to Slaanesh he gives their still-beating hearts, to Nurgle the contents of their slit guts, and Tzeentch he honours with their final breath.

*'''[[Valkia the Bloody]]''': The Sword-Maiden of the Blood God, the Bringer of Glory, the Chooser of the Slain and the Gorequeen of the Norse. Valkia is Khorne's servant who carries the spirits of worthy warriors so that they may fight on forever in the Blood God's Halls. The sagas of her people tell that she was once a mortal woman, a Norse queen of the ancient and long-dead Schwarzvolf tribe. She gained the favour of Khorne by slaying any who dared contest her claim in honourable battle and also by defeating the Champions of the lesser Chaos Gods. Foremost amongst these was Locephax, a daemon prince of Slaanesh who sought to enslave the warrior-queen. Valkia felt the berserker rage come upon her and she took up her great spear Slaupnir and struck down the daemon and affixed its severed head to her shield. Valkia then traveled to the uttermost North of the world and, with the fanaticism of the true believer, pledged herself utterly to the Axefather. Valkia almost succeeded in coming before her beloved god's throne, but was slain like countless others in the twisted hellscape of the realm of Chaos. Khorne was displeased, for he had great plans for the woman, and his bellowing fury was so thunderous that it shook the world and roused Valkia from death. Khorne was angry with her weak mortal form and remade her into a being more pleasing to him. A true vision of destructive power: great bloody wings tore out from her once shapely back, her legs were refashioned into those of a bloodletter and massive horns rose from her skull. Her only purpose now is to reap more skulls for her mighty lord and to choose the valorous Norsemen dedicated to Khorne who fall fight on at their god's side in the Realm of Chaos 'till his rage devours all that exists. When Valkia takes to the mortal skies, all the Norse tribes dedicated to Khorne march under her shadow, for they know that she will carry them to the realms beyond to be Khorne's chosen in the afterlife, a prize beyond all measure. Where she flies, whole lands are drenched in blood. Such is the power Khorne has granted her.

*'''[[Scyla Anfingrimm]]''': The Saga of the Gorebeast is a long and terrifying one amongst the savage Norse clans, the fame of the Talon of Khorne lives long in the songs sung by the Skalds of many a Norscan meadhall and in the terrified ramblings of those few Imperials who have born witness to the unstoppable fury of Scyla and survived. Tales told of a hulking beast the colour of blood who wears a massive bronze collar and is festooned with the blasphemous ritual marks of Khorne, and who lays low all who stand against him with its unquenchable thirst for death. Yet, it was not always so. For the greatest of Khorne's [[Chaos Spawn]] was once a man, '''once a man, ONCESSSSE A MAAAANNRGABLFARBLLEHC--'''--ahem--was once one of his greatest and most fearsome champions. Scyla Anfingrimm was the bane of the Old World from his homeland of frozen Norsca to the shores of distant Ind, his name synonymous with victory, slaughter and pillage. As a man, Scyla was marked by Khorne and elevated into the highest echelons of the god's favour; earning not only the respect of his tribesmen but all the raiders of the neighboring fjords. It was Scyla who single-handedly laid low the fearsome Jabberwock that plagued the River Voltag, and it was Scyla's daemonic greatsword that destroyed the tentacled beast that ruled the Bay of Blades. Every spring, he and his marauders would take to their longships and slaughter their way through the Empire, through Bretonnia and even as far south of Khemri. Returning from their raids drunk on blood and glory, the hulls of their ships filled to bursting with ancient treasures and slaves ready to be thrown upon sacrificial pyres dedicated to Khorne. The people of the Ironpelt would often chatter about how Scyla would soon ascend to daemonhood. They were right in a sense. After orchestrating the Massacre of Black Gulch, which caused the great chasm to run red with Skaven blood, Scyla was gifted with even greater physical strength and massive ape-like arms infused with the power of Chaos. Thanking the Axefather for his blessing, Scyla launched daring raids against the war-dhows of Dhuli armada, personally reducing their great flagship to splinters. This time, he was gifted a serpentine tail ending with a snapping maw. Scyla's merciless killing of the Chaos Dwarf delegation sent to trade with his tribe resulted in a great profusion of horn-like plates covering his mighty frame. After single-handedly annihilating the bestial Gorgers of the Undermountain, Khorne was so pleased with Scyla's might that he gifted the Champion with the mind of a ravenous beast. With that, Scyla's body spiraled out of control. His transformation into a Chaos Spawn was complete '''NO!!! GRISHIISOSKS'''. That day, Scyla fell from a feared and far-famed warlord. His warband fell to the leadership of his second-in-command and next most favoured of Khorne; Erlock One-Eye. Scyla was still afforded the same respect and honour from his companions, arguably moreso, for now he was a living sacrament to Khorne's power and might. Unlike other Chaos Spawn '''Not Again! GRAAAGH!''', Scyla remains the favoured of Khorne; a testament to his greatness in his former life. Scyla exists as he did before, only to fight and slaughter for the pleasure of his fearsome god. His destiny is only to mete out death against those foolish enough to face him.

*'''[[Sigvald|Sigvald the Magnificent]]''': Chaos Lord [[A Song of Ice and Fire|Joffrey]]. Though he appears no more than a boy of sixteen, Sigvald the Magnificent has blighted the Old World for three centuries. The inbred child of a great Norse Chaos Lord and his own sister, Sigvald was spoiled with all he ever wished, it was only after his cannibalistic tendencies were revealed that the tribe forced him out. Feigning dismay, Sigvald sneaked into the longhouse and murdered his own father while he slept, fleeing then to the Chaos Wastes. The personification of beauty on the outside, but as horrifying as the lowest Spawn on the inside, Sigvald rides as Geld-Prince of the Decadent Host; an army of amorous madwomen and men who seek to attend his every debased whim. Marked by the Prince of Excess and gifted with Sliverslash, a blade forged from a sliver of the Sword of Slaanesh, it is clear to all that Sigvald the Magnificent is the greatest Champion of Slaanesh to walk the world. Recently tried to kill all the high Elves on the grounds that they must die for having better hair than him. (Seriously, this guy is pretty much Joffrey from [[A Song of Ice and Fire]]; both were born from brother-sister incest, both are handsome blonde men, both are arrogant and morally repulsive [[That Guy|shits]]. The difference is Sigvald is still alive and even more [[Grimdark]])

*'''[[Vilitch the Curseling]]''': Once upon a time, two twins were born. One of them was Thomin, a well-liked, well-built man who was a great warrior and whom everyone expected to become a great leader. The other was Vilitch, a twisted, decrepit freak whom everyone beat up and could only scrape by as some sorcerer's apprentice. Needless to say, Vilitch hated this setup and prayed to [[Tzeentch]] for him to switch the twins' destinies. Then, one Geheimnisnacht, the big bird answered and merged the twins together. Vilitch was now fused to Thomin's body and as a result became far smarter and more magically adept while Thomin became reduced to a braindead brute. The twin-abomination then decided to use this newfound power to murder all the people who made fun of him and used his magic to mentally enslave the mightiest warriors of his tribe.

*'''[[Festus the Leechlord]]''': Doctor, plaguemaster, and one of [[Nurgle]]'s favorite guys. Originally a good Nordland doctor who knew everything about how to cure diseases. He was then driven to insanity when he found himself incapable of curing a certain plague that swept the lands and in desperation, made a pact with the plague god in order to learn the knowledge needed to cure it. Sure, he got that knowledge, but he also turned so insane that he stopped caring about curing things and began a life of testing out all sorts of diseases and being a generally sick sack of shit (as most Nurglites are wont to). So he became basically the Dr Mengele of the Old World.

*'''[[Dragon Ogres|Kholek Suneater]]''': A FUCKING HUGE 4 legged dragon Ogre. He is a massive Beast armed with a HUUUGE THUNDER HAMMER who can crush dragons. He was a living battering ram who also managed to crush bloodthirsters.

===The Kurgan Tribes===

Not much is known about Kurgans, because they're generally overlooked by GW in favor of their Norscan brothers. Their location points to being Chaos Mongols. There is still some information, however:

*'''Khazags''': They're known as the guys who had first tamed the War Mammoths. [[Games Workshop|Creatively named after Kazakh nation.]]
*'''Dolgans''': [[That Guy|That Guys]] of Kurgan. They hate every other Chaos-affiliated tribe as much as the southerners and prefer to kill everyone who isn't Dolgan on sight. Some of them, thankfully, managed to avoid the Gods' corruption and now live in [[Kislev]], though their population is declining.
*'''[[Space Wolves|Iron Wolves]]''': An interesting tribe, because it's only partially Kurgan. These furries also have a Norse ancestry, descending from the vikings whose asses were kicked by [[Sigmar]] so hard they had to run to the [[Eastern Steppes]]. They are resented by both ancestral tribes and generally think of themselves as independent people.
*'''[[Asavar Kul|Kul]]''': Yeah, those Kul. They're probably the strongest Kurgan tribe that constantly raids the shit out of the neighbours and have a well-developed slavery system. They're also interesting for their complicated religious views, as they do not swear themselves to one of [[Chaos Gods|four major Gods]], instead [[Chaos Undivided|praying to hundred gods and seeking the favor of all of them.]] [[Black Legion|So, pretty much these guys.]] [[Asavar Kul]], Zar of the Kul, was the twelfth Everchosen of Chaos who fought during the [[Great War Against Chaos]] leading the Chaos forces. After Asavar died, his successor was usurped and murdered by [[Vardek Crom]], who is the current Zar.
*'''Tahmaks''', '''Tokmars''', '''Yusak''' etc.: really minor tribes that are barely mentioned in the lore.

===The Kurgan Characters===

*'''The Great Kurgan''': [[Jaghatai Khan|Genghis Khan]] of Kurgans who is only mentioned in [[Tamurkhan: Throne of Chaos]] supplements. He did the unthinkable and managed to unite all of the tribes, creating a truly gigantic empire that managed to beat Hung, [[Hobgoblin|Hobgoblins]] and [[Cathay]]. [[Awesome|Impressive.]] He was also the first Kurgan chieftain to make a deal with [[Chaos]] to get their power on his side, though eventually they fucked him over.
*'''Asavar Kul''': [[Gets shit done|gets shit done]]. Managed to cripple [[Kislev]] for centuries way before both [[Archaon]] and [[Abaddon|Failbaddon]] even managed to do something meaningful. Has his own [[Asavar Kul|page]].
*'''Tamurkhan''': a [[Nurgle|Nurglite]] warrior riding a toad, who is a protagonist of the narrative-driven campaign of the same name. Has his own [[Tamurkhan|page]].
*'''Surtha Lenk''': minor [[Tzeench|Tzeenchite]] warlord and the commander of [[Archaon|Archaon's]] vanguard. Took part in destruction of [[Kislev]] and [[Ostland]] during the [[End Times]].
*'''Vardek Crom''': current Kul chieftain (Zar) and the Herald of Everchosen. Has his own [[Vardek Crom|page]].

=== The Hung ===
{{topquote|Them Kurgan is bad. But the Hung, they jus’ nasty.|Gorg, famous [[Ogre Kingdoms|Ogre]] Philosopher}}

{{topquote|We make deal, yes? You give us gold and women, we no attack. You not give enough gold or women, so we attack. We attack anyway. We make deal, yes?|Average Hung diplomat, showing that even [[The Beast|some orks]] from the [[Warhammer 40,000|different setting]] are better in negotiations than them}}
The least described [[Chaos]] race, mainly for three reasons: they operate in [[Naggaroth]] and [[Eastern Lands]], and the incursions in those regions are described only in the short sentences of some backstory fluff; they're similar to their Kurgan brothers in almost everything; and finally, they're a [[Hobgoblin|pretty negative Mongolian stereotype]], and [[Games Workshop|GW]] certainly doesn't want another [[Pygmies (Warhammer Fantasy)|Pygmies]].

Overall, from what we can gather Hungs are savages and barbarians to the extreme: while previous Chaos races at least have some sort of society and culture, these people only exist to [[RIP AND TEAR|kill, slaughter, rape and fight]]. All they need is a woolen tent, a [[Choppa|choppa]] and a steed. Seriously, their love for <s>horses</s> ponies can only be rivaled by [[Bretonnia|Bretonnians]] (so... Chaos Bretonnians?). Another faction which they resemble are [[Skaven]]: Hungs are insanely backstabby and have no honor at all, to the point that "A Word of Hung" in [[Cathay]] means a "Worthless Promise". Hell, they even abuse the dogs that they use for hunting. [[That Guy|Bastards]]. Oh, and they're cannibals.

With that being said, what do we have in the end? The Hung are insanely evil barbarians that have no respect for anyone or anything and are hated by every other faction (including fellow Chaos Warriors). They have no redeeming qualities and rival Skaven for being the most evil race in the entire game. So, it's probably good that GW downplayed them severely.

Despite their name, they don't seem to favour Slaanesh more than any other Chaos God.

== Gallery ==
<center>
<gallery>
File:Northlanders.jpg|WE FIGHT THE HORDE, SINGING AND CRYING; '''VALHALLA'''! I AM COMING!!
File:Chaos marauder by artofty-d3f5hof.jpg|KHORNE!! OPEN THE GATES OF YOUR HALL!!
File:Chaos Longships.jpg|Their main method of transportation.
File:Khorne-Art.jpg|Kjarl Deathaxe and the Blood Drinkers.
File:Wulfrik_Gif.jpg.gif|Wulfrik the Wanderer on a morning stroll.
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer/Tactics/Warriors of Chaos]] - A guide on how to lead these awesome barbarians to glory and bloodshed and the notice of the [[Chaos|Gods]].
*[[Viking|Vikings]] - What they are based off. Just in case you forgot.
*[[Chaos Space Marines]] - Their 40K counterparts.
*[[Chaos]] - What did they worship again?

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer Fantasy Battle}}

{{Chaos-Champions}}

Sea Giant

2022-08-03T04:49:33Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Warhammer Fantasy/Age of Sigmar */

{{dnd-stub}}
[[File:Sea Giant PC3 1.jpg|thumb|right|300px]]

'''Sea Giants''' are the absolute bottom of the barrel when it comes to "What if monster X, but underwater?" Unlike other monsters like the [[Merrow]] and [[Koalinth]], no attempt was made to make them look fish-like or aquatic. They are literally just normal [[giant]]s that can breath underwater.

They appeared as a playable race in ''PC3: The Sea People''.

==Warhammer Fantasy/Age of Sigmar==
Sea Giants were mentioned once offhand in the lore of Warhammer Fantasy, with the skull of a slain Sea Giant serving as the figurehead of "The Swordfysh", the pirate ship of mutant pirate captain Aranessa Saltspite, the "daughter" of Stromfels/Mermedus, Chaos God of Storms, Pirates, and Sea Monsters. The Sea Giants were never really expanded on, but in Age of Sigmar, a type of oceanic mega-gargant called Kraken-Eaters seems to be their spiritual successor.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Sea Giant PC3 2.jpg
PC3 races.jpg|Sea Giant at top left
PC3 characters.jpg
PC3 hijinks.jpg|Sea Giant at upper left casting magic at an [[Ixitxachitl]]
</gallery>

{{D&D-Giants}}
[[Category: Dungeons & Dragons Races]] [[Category: Monsters]]
[[Category:Giants]]

Sea Giant

2022-08-03T04:39:02Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: Warhammer

{{dnd-stub}}
[[File:Sea Giant PC3 1.jpg|thumb|right|300px]]

'''Sea Giants''' are the absolute bottom of the barrel when it comes to "What if monster X, but underwater?" Unlike other monsters like the [[Merrow]] and [[Koalinth]], no attempt was made to make them look fish-like or aquatic. They are literally just normal [[giant]]s that can breath underwater.

They appeared as a playable race in ''PC3: The Sea People''.

==Warhammer Fantasy/Age of Sigmar==
Sea Giants were mentioned once offhand in the lore of Warhammer Fantasy, with the skull of a slain Sea Giant serving as the figurehead of "The Swordfysh", the pirate ship of mutant pirate captain Aranessa Saltspite, the "daughter" of Stromfels/Mermedus, Chaos God of Storms, Pirates, and Sea Monsters. The Sea Giants were never really expanded on, but in Age of Sigmar, a type of oceanic mega-gargant seems to be their spiritual successor.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Sea Giant PC3 2.jpg
PC3 races.jpg|Sea Giant at top left
PC3 characters.jpg
PC3 hijinks.jpg|Sea Giant at upper left casting magic at an [[Ixitxachitl]]
</gallery>

{{D&D-Giants}}
[[Category: Dungeons & Dragons Races]] [[Category: Monsters]]
[[Category:Giants]]

Slime

2022-08-03T04:29:46Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Warhammer Fantasy */

[[File:The gelatinous green cube by shockbolt.jpg|500px|thumbnail|right|[[Halfling]] [[Rogue]] rolled a 1 to Intelligence...or should it be Wisdom? Or maybe both?]]

{{topquote|A slime draws near!|Every Dragon Quest game ever}}

The '''Slime''', also known as the '''Ooze''', the '''Gel''', the '''Jelly''', or the '''Goo''', is a humble form of monster that pops up in absolutely ''every'' frigging fantasy setting you can imagine, and even a few science-fiction settings. It is most famous in tabletop games for its many diffuse forms in [[Dungeons & Dragons]] and in videogames for [[/v/|Dragon Quest]] (in which it serves as the mascot and also has a fucking huge array of possible slime-forms), but, like we said, you can find a slime just about everywhere if you look.

Slimes are usually low to middle tier threat levels; they are mindless masses of animate sludge, and some higher-level variants may be made of elemental matter, such as water, "liquid ice", magma, molten steel, etc. They have no culture or higher purposes, they just ooze around eating anything organic they touch and growing bigger until they have to divide. Hardly likely to outwit most adventurers, but many games make them fairly resistant to certain kinds of attack, especially physical ones, so just assuming they're harmless is a good way to get dissolved. One prominent commenter described fighting a slime as "playing a terrifying game of 'guess the immunity'," referencing to the fact that unless you have your appropriate Monster Manuals memorised, you can rarely predict what will kill a slime variety outright. And guessing wrong can sometimes be worse than not trying, because using the ''wrong'' damage type can cause the slime in question to get stronger or divide into more slimes. And what they are or are not vulnerable to isn't always consistent between editions. A lot of them are also [[Gotcha Monster]]s because of their use of camouflage or near invisibility. This is often enforced by their slow speed that ensure an unsupported ooze can simply be fled from. Their lack of biological needs aside from hunger (solved by dropping scraps to them) means they are often used as part of mundane traps, like an ooze at the bottom of a pit trap.

==Slimes in Dungeons and Dragons==
===Pre-3rd Edition===
* '''Gelatinous Cube''': Perhaps the most notorious slime to come out of the tabletop game field is the gelatinous cube, a D&D monstrosity that takes the form of a huge cube-shaped mass of near-translucent gray or green jelly, perfectly sized for oozing through the typical dungeon corridor as a living, insurmountable barrier. It was originally created by Gary Gygax as a joke, being the exact size of one grid square. Like the [[Rust Monster]] and [[Owlbear]], it's one of those absurdities that everyone pokes fun at, but which has too much nostalgic fondness from the fanbase for anyone to seriously consider getting rid of it. Later, fortunately, it ''did'' come with a half-assed explanation: wizards breed them as living janitorial services to clean the garbage out of the perfectly-square corridors of their evil dungeons. As it's also mostly-transparent, save for the dissolving bits of armor floating in it like fruit in a jello dessert, walking straight into it only to be engulfed is an occupational hazard for dungeon-delvers. It has a paralyzing touch. Its weaknesses vary depending on the edition. Oh, and this thing is so (in)famous that it even showed up in a Disney film!
<gallery>
Gelatinous cube Monster card.jpg
Gelatinous cube MCV1.jpg
Gelatinous cube MM 2e.png
Evils of haranshire cover.jpg
Gelatinous Cube 3e.jpg
Ooze 4e.jpg
Gelatinous Cube 5e.jpg
Gelatinous cube B1.png
</gallery>

* '''Black Pudding''' / '''Deadly Puddings''': Has nothing to do with the food called black pudding - this one has come to take Sam Tarly. Comes in other colors besides black, depending on what environment they are found in. All of the different colors are called Deadly Puddings. Can split if hit by weapons or lightning. Black puddings can dissolve organic material and metal. White puddings look identical to ice and snow and can instantly dissolve organic matter. Dun puddings live in deserts and can instantly dissolve leather, and can also eat metal. Brown puddings live in marshes and can instantly dissolve leather and wood. Stone puddings, grey puddings, and dense puddings all live underground. Stone puddings are slow moving and attack by dropping on prey from the ceiling, but can only dissolve flesh. Grey puddings can dissolve leather, wood, and metal, including magical armor, but they also are vulnerable to certain spells. Dense puddings are smarter than other puddings and infect people they attack with a debilitating disease, but are slower, not well camouflaged because of their blue color, and can only dissolve living flesh.
<gallery>
Black pudding ODD4.png
Black Pudding 1e.png
Black pudding MCV1.jpg
Black pudding MM 2e.png
Black Pudding 5e.jpg
Black pudding B1.png
</gallery>

* '''Grey Ooze''': Can rapidly corrode non magical metal similarly to a Rust Monster, but cannot dissolve stone. Is immune to cold and fire. Can camouflage itself as a puddle of water. In 5th edition they can sometimes develop the ability to use psychic attacks. Grey oozes are completely different in 4th edition. They have a foul smell that give an attack penalty and their acid attack can melt your bones.
<gallery>
Gray Ooze 1e.jpg
Gray Ooze 5e.png
Gray ooze B1.png
</gallery>

* '''Green Slime''': Green slimes are mostly immobile and are more similar to plants. Their only attack that they have is dropping on people who walk under them. Anybody who touches one will turn into one if they are not cured quickly. They are vulnerable only to fire, cold, and cure disease spells. They can eat through both metal and wood. The Green Slime returned in 4th edition but heavily changed. It is no longer immobile or able to infect people with a touch, but still prefers to surprise enemies by dropping on them. It is weak against fire and light. Green Slime returns again in 5th edition, but is now classified as a dungeon hazard instead of a monster and so doesn't have stats, though its traits are similar to how it behaved in early editions. It destroys metal and organic material on contact and can be destroyed by sunlight, anything that cures disease, or anything that does fire, cold, or radiant damage.
<gallery>
Green Slime 1e.png
Green slime tRoSP.png
</gallery>

* '''Ochre Jelly''': Similar to a black pudding but somewhat weaker. Only dissolves flesh. Can split if hit by weapons or lightning.
<gallery>
Ochre Jelly 1e.jpg
Ooze 4e.jpg
Ochre Jelly 5e.png
ochre jelly B1.png
</gallery>

* '''Crystal Ooze''': Native to the caverns of the Plane of Earth, these crystalline slimes usually subsist on the minerals found in rocks with the oldest being fuck hueg. While they're content to just leech what they need from their surroundings, Crystal Oozes will attack any living creature for the minerals in them and they're no push-overs either. Their slam attacks deal piercing and slashing damage and can crit on rolls of 18-20. They also give off a Subsonic Hum that can stun an opponent while the Ooze slithers over and engulfs them at their leisure. If the victim fails their Fortitude save, they become petrified and a new Crystal Ooze pops out in 1d4 hours. They're immune to the cold and electricity and resist fire; however, their bodies can shatter and split from bludgeoning and sonic attacks. Crystal oozes are completely different in second edition D&D. Instead, they are a variant of grey ooze that lives underwater and corrodes organic material, but not metal. Weapons can only deal 1 point of damage to a crystal oozes.
<gallery>
Crystal ooze S4.png
</gallery>

* '''Slithering Tracker''': An intelligent slime that is nearly transparent. It paralyzes victims and slowly drains them of plasma. In 5e, they are said to be created from humanoids who willingly gave up their forms to get revenge on somebody they hated.
<gallery>
Slithering tracker MCV2.jpg
Slithering Tracker 2e.jpg
Slithering Tracker 5e.jpg
Slithering tracker B2 PF.png
</gallery>

* '''Mustard Jelly''': What happens when an idiot wizard tries to polymorph into an Ochre Jelly. It produces poisonous fumes that smell like mustard and slow down those who breathe them in. It is intelligent and can split in two at will, instead of splitting when hit with weapons. It cannot climb up walls or squeeze through tight spaces like ochre jellies can. It is immune to normal weapons, takes half damage from cold and the magic missile spell heals it, and it can eat through wood.
<gallery>
Mustard Jelly.png
</gallery>

* '''Olive Slime''': A plant like slime similar to the green slime, but even more dangerous. Like the green slime it is immobile and attacks by dropping on people that walk under it, and it produces a venom that causes numbness so the victim may not even notice the attack. It possesses the victims it infects and slowly eats them from the inside out, turning them into plant like zombies that melt into olive slime when they die, and can spread the infection. It is immune to everything except acid, fire, cold, and cure disease spells, and spells that affect plants. The zombies are the same except they are weak to magic missile instead of cure disease. If a olive slime meets a green slime then one of them will destroy the other.
<gallery>
Olive Slime.png
</gallery>

* '''Stunjelly''': Similar to a gelatinous cube. It disguises itself as a stone wall, although remains semi transparent. It has most of the same weaknesses as a gelatinous cube, except that cold affects it normally. First appeared in [[Fiend Factory]] as the '''Living Wall'''.
<gallery>
Living wall WD 7.jpg
Stun Jelly 1e.webp
Stun Jelly 2e.png
</gallery>

* '''Aballin''': Also known as "living water", aballins are a type of slime that resembles a pool of stagnant water, strangely devoid of life and full of metals like coins and armor. Despite looking like water, Aballins are composed of a weak acid, which it uses to digest their victims after wrapping around their heads and drowning them (which means water breathing is pointless). Due to their semi-liquid bodies, they prefer to live in water but slither like slugs (up to a 30 degree slope). Unlike most other slimes, its roughly as smart as a wild animal and can learn to hunt its prey. Legend has it that the first was a druid polymorphed by an archwizard's curse. They are immune to fire, cold, and electricity, but are vulnerable to spells that affect water, and when they are pretending to be a pool of water they cannot be harmed by anything that wouldn't affect a pool of water. They also cannot be damaged by piercing and slashing weapons, and if you try there is a chance you will hit the person the aballin is trying to drown instead.
<gallery>
Aballin FF 2e.jpg
Aballin 2e.png
Aballin 3e.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Lava Ooze''': An ooze made of lava. They are immune to fire and vulnerable to cold. In third edition, it consumes metal and stone, but cannot digest gems, which become stuck its body until it is killed.

* '''Ghaunadan''': A shapechanger that serves the god [[Ghaunadaur]] whose true form resembles an ooze but also can transform into either a male human or a female [[Drow]] (So yes, this means that [[#Monstergirls|slimegirls]] are totally canon in D&D). In humanoid form they have a charming gaze and in ooze form their attacks cause paralysis. They are resistant to blunt weapons and while in ooze form can disarm enemies by trapping their weapons in its body.
<gallery>
Ghaunadan 2e.png
Ghaunadan MCAV2.jpg
Ghaunadan 3e.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Flareater''': A slime that likes to drop on prey from the ceiling. They are mobile unlike green slimes. While they can eat flesh, their favorite foods are light sources. They can increase their hitpoints by consuming both magical and non-magical light sources, and split when they reach enough hitpoints. They are immune to damage from light, heat, and fire, although long term sun exposure will kill them, and they are paralyzed by cold damage.
<gallery>
Flareater.png
</gallery>

* '''Symbiotic Jelly''': An intelligent slime that lives in a cave where it charms a carnivorous monster and uses illusions to make the monster appear as something less dangerous and add fake treasure to the cave to act as bait. When the monster it has charmed feeds on meat it somehow remotely feeds the slime as well. First appeared in [[Fiend Factory]] as the '''Chaoticus Symbioticus'''.
<gallery>
Chaoticus symbioticus WD 8.jpg
Symbiotic jelly FF 2e.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Acid Blob''': A smaller slime that moves by bouncing around and likes to hunt in packs. They can corrode metal.

* '''Alkilith''': A [[Tanar'ri]] with the form of an ooze. They exist to spread corruption and pollution, and by infesting a door or a window they can transform it into a portal to the [[Abyss]].
<gallery>
Alkilith 2e.png
Alkilith 3e.jpg
Alkilith 5e.png
</gallery>

* '''Omshirim''': A [[Mystara]]n slime that disguises itself as veins of precious metal. Created by Herathian mages by infusing a Lurker Above with quicksilver.
<gallery>
Omshirim MCSC.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Bloodsac''': Blood- and brain-sucking blobs from [[Spelljammer]] that are camouflaged as part of the night sky and travel through space in packs.
<gallery>
bloodsac MC9.jpg
</gallery>

* '''[[Plasmoid]]''': Intelligent Slimefolk from [[Spelljammer]]. There are two subraces: DeGleash and DelNoric. They unexpectedly made a return in 5th edition as a playable race.
<gallery>
degleash MCS1.jpg|DeGleash
delnoric MCS1.jpg|DelNoric
</gallery>

* '''Ontalak''': A slime that disguises itself as a fully functioning spelljammer vessel.
<gallery>
Ontalak MC7.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Mercurial Slime''': Another from Spelljammer. ''"Sometimes"'' the starlight reflected off of it will mesmerize anyone looking at it like a ''hypnotic pattern'' spell.
<gallery>
Mercurial slime MC9.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Silatic''': Eats metal. Comes in three types: gold, platinum and iron. Each type eats the metal it's named after.
<gallery>
Silatic MC9.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Darklore''': Slimes native to the [[Lower Planes]] that feed by sucking ''evil'' knowledge out of people's heads. They were created when a behemoth fleshcrafted by the [[yugoloth]]s got dunked into the River Styx. The puddles that splashed upon the banks of the river became the first Darklores.
<gallery>
Darklore Hellbound.jpg
Darklore MCAV4.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Impersonator''': A [[Ravenloft]] slime that can disguise itself as any one of its previous victims.
<gallery>
Impersonator MC Ravenloft.jpg
Impersonator DoD2.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Scamille''': Identical to the mimic. Native to [[Mystara]].
<gallery>
Scamille MC Mystara.jpg
</gallery>

===3rd/3.5 Edition===

* '''Bone Ooze''': A massive ooze that feeds by sucking people's bones out. Its insides are filled with sharp bone shards and they're stupidly deadly. They came back in 4th edition, renamed to bone collector, and classified as an undead ooze.
<gallery>
Bone Ooze.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Flesh Jelly''': A blob of flesh covered in a layer of skin. It grows by absorbing living creatures. Touching one can infect you with a disease called filth fever. [[Luke|It also has an overwhelmingly foul smell]].
<gallery>
Flesh Jelly.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Reason Stealer''': An unintelligent ooze with a craving for intelligence. When it delivers a killing blow it steal the victim's mind, gaining their stats, feats, skills, and prepared arcane spells for 24 hours, after which it becomes mindless again.
<gallery>
Reason Stealer.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Teratomorph''': A reality warping slime. Although it is neutral aligned like most slimes it has a lot of chaotic abilities. Its touch can, at random, weaken your stats, polymorph you, make it stick to you, or, if you are really unlucky, instantly absorb you. It randomly opens portals to other planes in the area around it. It also warps the environment around it, making attacks and dexterity checks more difficult, and has a chance of hitting everything around it with two random spells. It has the ability to detect law. It is immune to chaotic spells, lightning, and acid. Weapons have a chance of completely missing due to the section of its body you are attacking suddenly shifting to another dimension before you hit it unless it is affect by a dimensional anchor.
<gallery>
Teratomorph.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Arcane Ooze''': Is immune to spells and can steal spells from arcane spellcasters to give themselves temporary hitpoints. Magical acid attacks heal them, and magical lightning attacks speed them up.
<gallery>
Arcane Ooze.webp
</gallery>

* '''[[Living Spells|Living Spell]]''' (Template): One of the newer additions to the family. Originating in [[Eberron]]'s Mournlands, one of many results of the Day of Mourning, but since adapted to "generic" D&D. Living spell is a template that is applied to one or more spells instead of a creature to make a creature based on that spell or spells. It is always typed as an ooze. Enemies that are slammed or engulfed by the living spell are affected as though they were hit by the spell or spells it is based on. Living spells are also very resistant to magic. In 5th edition they are classified as constructs instead of oozes.

* '''Snowflake Ooze''': A snow like ooze that live in cold climates and inflicts cold damage. It is immune to cold and vulnerable to fire, piercing attack have a chance of harmlessly passing through it, and bludgeoning attacks cause it to split.
<gallery>
Snowflake Ooze.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Summoning Ooze''': A intelligent living summoning circle created by a summoning ritual gone wrong. It has the ability to cast summon monster spells. Immune to acid and fire.
<gallery>
Summoning Ooze.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Bloodfire Ooze''': An evil ooze made out of burning hot blood. It is created through ritually mixing the blood of 100 good or neutral humanoids with a demon's ichor. Is immune to fire and resistant to acid and electricity, and vulnerable to cold. It attacks with fire, and can empower fire spells cast within 60 feet of it.
<gallery>
Bloodfire Ooze.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Corrupture''': An amphibious ooze made of acidic liquid flesh that appears in areas where nature has been defiled by magic or pollution and attacks by spraying acid.
<gallery>
Corrupture.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Conflagration Ooze''': An intelligent ooze that attacks with a poison that causes your insides to burst into flame. Is immune to fire and vulnerable to cold. Some of them also explode when they die.
<gallery>
Conflagration Ooze.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Graveyard Sludge''': A slime made of necrotic energies and powered by the souls of the dead.When powerful necromancy is used around the dead, usually at graveyards during rituals or a [[Lich]] accending (though a really strong spell will do), the slime is formed and begins to hunt down any corpses to feed on the spiritual energy. The energy is used to defend itself but Liches like to use them as a means to bolster themselves. Graveyard Sludges can also cast 5th level or lower spells if they've fed on enough spellcasters. Their abilities are somewhat different in third edition. Creatures that die within 20 feet of graveyard sludge come back as zombies with an acid attack. They can cause fear, and strengthen undead creatures. They are immune to acid, and they are both alive and dead, so they are healed both by heal and inflict spells.
<gallery>
Graveyard Sludge.webp
</gallery>

* '''Bloodbloater''': A tiny aquatic ooze that drinks blood and attacks in swarms. Looks like an oversized cell. Because they are a swarm, they are immune to weapons and single target spells.
<gallery>
Bloodbloater.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Flotsam Ooze''': An aquatic ooze with a very sticky body which collects debris.

* '''Reekmurk''': A huge black aquatic ooze that lives in the depths of the ocean or in underground lakes. They can dissolve wood and have a powerful stench. They are immune to cold, but have a vulnerability to sunlight and spells that act like sunlight.

* '''Ethereal Ooze''': An incorporeal ooze from the ethereal plane. It naturally forms into crystalline cuboid shapes instead of being just a blob.
<gallery>
Ethereal Ooze.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Bloodrot''': Not actually a true slime, but is really a form of undead made from the remains of somebody who died by being completely dissolved in acid. Infects people with a magical disease called blood fever that causes the victim to melt into a puddle when they die which the blood rot eats. They can hide inside of the bloodstream of anyone who is infected with blood fever. They can also sense the location of anybody who is infected with blood fever within several miles, so if you escape from a battle with one but are infected then more will be attracted to you. Like many true oozes, it can split apart if hit by slashing or piercing damage. It came back again in 4th edition, now classified as an undead ooze, but lost its unique mechanics.
<gallery>
Bloodrot HoH.png
</gallery>

* '''Brine Ooze''': An ooze that lives in deserts. It either hides in salt lakes or pretends to be a pool of water. It has the ability to rapidly desiccate whatever it slams into and is immune to desiccation itself. Slashing and piercing damage causes it to split.

* '''Cesspit Ooze''': An ooze found in impoverished urban areas that feeds on fear and misery. They form spontaneously from the corpses of people who decayed in sewage or refuse in places near strong sources of magic. Its acid can dissolve organic and metallic materials but not stone. Those who are damaged by its acid may be driven into an uncontrollable rage. They have an overwhelming stink that sickens those that get too close to it. When they die, they explode and splatter acid around them. Slashing and piercing damage makes it split. They are immune to acid and resistant to electricity and fire, but have a weakness against positive energy similar to undead creatures. It is also more intelligent that other kinds of oozes, and are considered to be chaotic evil instead of neutral unlike other oozes.

* '''Sentry Ooze''' (Template): An ooze that has been modified with magic to make it stronger and more intelligent so it can act a guardian for a dungeon.

* '''Welp of Zargon''': Those infected by [[Zargon]]'s slime may transform into humanoid slime creatures. They deal acid damage and can also infect people with Zargon's slime. Creatures that get too close to one may be stunned by its horrific resemblance to its former self.

* '''Venom Ooze''': A more dangerous glowing variant of the Ochre Jelly that was engineered by the [[drow]]. They are immune to cold, acid, and electricity, and have the ability to poison large bodies of water.
<gallery>
Venom Ooze.png
</gallery>

* '''Blood Amniote''': ''Another'' monster made of blood. It is classified as an undead but has all the traits of an ooze. It is a huge mass of blood with the faces of people it has killed that makes people it touches expel their blood through their skin and it splits in two when it drains enough blood. They also came back in 4th edition as an undead ooze.
<gallery>
Blood Amniote.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Deathreap Ooze''': An ooze from [[Ravenloft]] that inflicts necrotic damage and can create undead creatures by enveloping a corpse, which makes them useful to necromancers.

* '''Skitterhaunt''': A parasitic ooze that infests and animates the corpses of giant bugs.

* '''Obsidian Ooze''': A molten serpentine ooze that attacks smaller prey with sharp spines and drags them into its magmatic interior. Any attacks that hit it tend to melt weapons and spray lava all over their foes.

===4th Edition===
* '''Slime Devil''': A devil specializing in interrogation that is also an ooze. It engulfs people and asks them questions, inflicting psychic damage if they lie.
<gallery>
Slime devil.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Abolethic [[Skum]]''': Sometimes when an [[Aboleth]] enslaves someone, the process goes wrong and turns them into an ooze. Abolethic Skums are invisible while in water and have an aura that makes enemies vulnerable to psychic attacks. It is a minion type enemy so it dies in one hit.

* '''Spirit Ooze''': An ooze formed from bits of insubstantial undead. They can hover and after hitting an enemy with their main attack become harder to damage and can shift by one square for one turn.

===5th Edition===
* '''[[Oblex]]''': Has the ability to create exact copies of anyone it has eaten except for the cord of slime attaching the copies to the oblex.
* '''Dragon Blood Ooze''': A ooze created by wizards experimenting with dragon body parts. In place of a dragon's breath weapon it can spray parts of itself on enemies.
<gallery>
DRAGONBLOOD OOZE 5e.png
</gallery>

===Pathfinder===
* '''Deathtrap Ooze''': Reversing the ooze used as part of a trap gimmick, a deathtrap ooze ''is'' the trap. Able to transform into any trap with one or fewer moving part, a deathtrap ooze can pretend to be disabled and attack adventurers from the rear or attack the poor sap attempting to disable it outright, and that's assuming it's even found.
<gallery>Deathtrap ooze B3.png</gallery>

* '''Gunpowder Ooze''': An ooze, made of gunpowder. Continuing the "guess the weakness" game above, it has vulnerability to fire but explodes and splits upon taking fire damage. It also coats people it attacks in gunpowder, making ''them'' liable to blowing up. The split and auto-combustion mean that this CR14 monster can be killed by nothing but two vials of alchemist fire creating a chain reaction of the split oozes blowing each other up. This means they're more living traps than anything.
<gallery>
File:Gunpowder Ooze.png
</gallery>

* '''Hungry Flesh''': An artifical ooze made of a huge pile of flesh. Thankfully they have very high nutritional needs (their own 3000 pound weight in food daily) so they'll quickly starve without support.

* '''Sapphire Ooze''': A sapient, extraplanar, good aligned ooze that can talk?! This ooze can transform into living armor for a creature and buff things with saves against fear. Being the rare sapient ooze, they actually have a personality: [[Leeroy Jenkins|Overeager adventure seekers that often get into trouble themselves.]]
<gallery>
Sapphire Ooze.png
</gallery>

* '''Carnivorous Blob''': Have you ever wanted to run a campaign based on the 80s version of “The Blob”? Use this, and accept no substitutes!
<gallery>
Carnivorous blob B2 PF.png
</gallery>

* '''Sewer Blight''': A low level ooze made of sewage that lives in the sewers under large cities.
<gallery>
Sewer Blight.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Slime Demon (Omox)''': A demon made of sewage that delights in desecrating bodies of water.
<gallery>
Omox.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Fell Flotsam''': Undead ooze created when the spirits of dead creatures combine with the muck at the bottom of a swamp or river.
<gallery>
Fell Flotsam.jpg

* '''Hungry Fog''': When the ooze is a gas instead of a liquid. It can form images inside itself to scare victims, but it also is vulnerable to wind based spells. And since it is a gas, non-magical weapons just pass through them harmlessly.
</gallery>

===Slime Deities===

* [[Juiblex]]: The demon lord of slimes and oozes.

* [[Ghaunadaur]]: The god of slimes and oozes, who may or may not be the same being as Juiblex.

* [[Zargon]]: An [[Elder Evils|Elder Evil]] associated with slimes.

* [[Bwimb]]: The [[Archomental]] of ooze. Got killed by [[Orcus|Tenebrous]] and replaced by his daughter Bwimb II.

==Slimes in Dragon Quest==
The slime is the mascot of the Dragon Quest video game series. Basic slimes are blue raindrop shaped creatures with cute faces. They come in a wide number of variants. One such variant are metal slimes, which give huge rewards for defeating them but are ridiculously difficult to beat due to their defensive abilities and tendency to run away before you can do any significant damage. Due to how iconic they are, [[TVTropes]] uses Metal Slime as the trope name for rare enemies in games that are tough to beat but give huge rewards. Not all slimes in the Dragon Quest are enemies. Good slimes usually introduce themselves by saying "I'm not a bad slime!"

Variants of this type of slime have been nigh-ubiquitous in various JRPGs for the last 30+ years. Given the small amount of separation between Japanese games and anime, it was only a matter of time before they became the focus of a series:

==That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime==
That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime is an [[Isekai]] light novel and [[anime]], about a normal Japanese man who dies and ends up in the body of a slime in a world resembling the Dragon Quest games. Slimes in this world are normaly unintelligent and weak monsters, but due to living a virtuous life (i.e. [[4chan|dying a virgin]]), he gets reincarnated with so much EXP that he starts his new life with a broken number of bonuses and immunities (funnily enough, the game decides that the humble slime is the ideal form to carry all these bonuses as they're naturally immune to everything, and sad for him because slimes are also asexual and thus he can't have sex); he's also reincarnated with an inner voice/AI called the Great Sage because he died a virgin at 30 (and thus beyond being an elegan/tg/entleman wizard) that he uses to [[metagame]]. They befriend a powerful dragon (the god of fucking monsters) and become the chief of a [[Goblin]] village, which they expand into a new nation. It is the most Mary Sue that you can Mary Sue, but is suprisingly tolerable because its main competition is edgy grimdark anime and of course, [[Monstergirl|copious helpings of big ogre tiddies]].

==Warhammer Fantasy==
In Warhammer Fantasy, there's actually an example of a Slime, or at least a creature that functions the same way. The Amoebas of Warhammer Fantasy fulfill the same niche as Slimes in other settings, along with some examples being kept in the Altdorf Zoo in special glass and metal container with steam pipes on the top hole to scare them off with heat, to prevent them from escaping. They are also known in-universe as Slimes, Blobs, and Jellies. They are literally enormous, single-celled Amoebas mutated by magic to huge size.

==[[Monstergirl]]s==
{{Monstergirls}}
Surprisingly, slimes have long been given the [[monstergirls]] treatment: Slime Girls (also known as Goo Girls) are typically not very smart, but very affectionate and horny, and their malleable gelatinous bodies have a ''lot'' of kinky shit they can do in the bedroom. In the more restrained versions a slime will engulf a guy while milking him dry, giving him a full body hug. This frequently results in cum floating around in the slime's body, often going towards a the slime's "heart", a core of a color that contrasts the body that is said to hold the slime's soul. It is often an erogenous zone [[/d/|because of course it is]]. In more extreme cases the slime will also penetrate the guy, engaging in stuff like sounding, or fucking him in the ass while he fucks her in the... well, [[Dark Eldar|everywhere is a hole for a Slime]]. There are also a few cases where [[vore]] starts to be involved, which would be a bit more true to nature for the slimes of D&D fame.

===MGE Slimes===
The Slime is one of the most profuse species in the [[Monster Girl Encyclopedia]] so far, second only to the [[Succubus]] family in terms of diverse members. The slimes of the MGE were heavily influenced by the slimes of the popular fantasy gaming series "Dragon Quest", with the Slime Queen and Slime Carrier in particular being derived from members of that series' vast array of slimes.

Your standard Slime in the MGE world is a dim-witted, happy-go-lucky aimless drifter that just squiggles around looking for a guy to sex. These stand out mostly via their blue coloration.

The Red Slime, in comparison, is smarter and more aggressive.

The green Bubble Slime has a unique chemical composition that causes her to constantly secrete bubbles of noxious-smelling gas. As a side-effect, she's no longer as sticky and cohesive as other slimes, making her grapples easier to escape. However, her substance is a powerful and addictive aphrodisiac, which eventually leaves her victim dependent upon regular ingestions of her drug-like mass. She was one of the first of the [[grimdark]] mamono.

The purple Dark Slime is an extremely powerful succubus/slime hybrid native to Demon Realms. The only slime-girl in the MGE with a core (thus far), they're also smart and predatory; they have the unique ability to corrupt human women, transforming them into new Dark Slimes, via a process that basically involves enveloping the women in their body, orgasmically digesting her alive, and then reforming her as a new slime.

Slime Queens are sometimes mistaken for normal slimes due to their being the same blue color. These slimes suffer a mutation that renders them incapable of physically dividing to reproduce like a normal slime; instead, they swell to massive proportions, and can manifest multiple slimegirl "bodies" from their central mass as they see fit, all of which are, of course, extensions of the slime's singular mind. The bigger she grows, the smarter she becomes. Kenkou Cross has asserted that there are actually Slime Queen variants for all of the standard slimes.

Sea Slimes are jellyfish-girls who live in the ocean, and so lack the shapeshifting prowess of their standard cousins.

Nureonagos are a Zipangu breed of slime whose name comes from a yokai that manifested as a soaking wet girl who comes wandering around on rainy nights. The Nureonago mamono is a slime with especially advanced mimicry abilities, allowing her to take the form of a solid human girl in clothes - but she can't deny her nature, and so always looks soaking wet.

Likewise, the Shoggoth is a slime-girl maid who specializes in shapeshifting, specifically in extruding pseudopods and shaping them into tools to help her do her various chores.

The Parasite Slime is a slime that can't take on a slime-girl form of its own, instead attacking human women and raping them until their mind breaks before using them as lures to attract human men to be their partners, turning them into the mindless fuck-puppets called "Slime Carriers". This is one of the two slimes that compete for the title of "most fucked-up mamono in the MGE".

The Humpty Egg is the ''other'' slime contender. See, in the region of the MGE world known as "Wonderland", there's a super-horny, busty and fluffy [[harpy]] species caled the Jubjub Bird. These harpies lay eggs, and if a man gets too close to an unhatched egg, there is a good chance that the unborn chick inside will become aware of his spiritual energies and react by ''bursting out of her shell as a horny [[loli]] slime-girl made of egg-guts'', essentially aborting herself to have sex faster. Consisting of a [[loli]] made up of goopy, semi-solid egg-yolk and surrounded by a malleable mass of egg-white they use to form the traditional slime pseudopods. These slimes actually lay eggs when they get pregnant, which usually hatch into new Jubjubs, but are more likely than "normal" Jubjub eggs to turn into Humpty Eggs. This species was met with considerable outcry when it was released, with even many [[loli]] fans going "seriously, dude, this is going too far!" (Was this supposed to be Rule 34 of Sanrio's Gudetama? If it is then it may be even more sick. Poor Gudetama! He doesn't deserve this.)

===Gallery===
<center>
<gallery>
File:MGE Slime.jpg|A normal slime.
File:MGE Red Slime.jpg|A red slime.
File:MGE Bubble Slime.jpg|A bubble slime.
File:MGE Dark Slime.jpg|A dark slime.
File:MGE Slime Queen.jpg|A Slime Queen.
File:MGE Shoggoth.jpg|A [[Shoggoth]].
File:MGE Nureonago.jpg|A Nurenago.
</gallery>
</center>

[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]][[Category: Monsters]]

Slime

2022-08-03T04:24:56Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime */

[[File:The gelatinous green cube by shockbolt.jpg|500px|thumbnail|right|[[Halfling]] [[Rogue]] rolled a 1 to Intelligence...or should it be Wisdom? Or maybe both?]]

{{topquote|A slime draws near!|Every Dragon Quest game ever}}

The '''Slime''', also known as the '''Ooze''', the '''Gel''', the '''Jelly''', or the '''Goo''', is a humble form of monster that pops up in absolutely ''every'' frigging fantasy setting you can imagine, and even a few science-fiction settings. It is most famous in tabletop games for its many diffuse forms in [[Dungeons & Dragons]] and in videogames for [[/v/|Dragon Quest]] (in which it serves as the mascot and also has a fucking huge array of possible slime-forms), but, like we said, you can find a slime just about everywhere if you look.

Slimes are usually low to middle tier threat levels; they are mindless masses of animate sludge, and some higher-level variants may be made of elemental matter, such as water, "liquid ice", magma, molten steel, etc. They have no culture or higher purposes, they just ooze around eating anything organic they touch and growing bigger until they have to divide. Hardly likely to outwit most adventurers, but many games make them fairly resistant to certain kinds of attack, especially physical ones, so just assuming they're harmless is a good way to get dissolved. One prominent commenter described fighting a slime as "playing a terrifying game of 'guess the immunity'," referencing to the fact that unless you have your appropriate Monster Manuals memorised, you can rarely predict what will kill a slime variety outright. And guessing wrong can sometimes be worse than not trying, because using the ''wrong'' damage type can cause the slime in question to get stronger or divide into more slimes. And what they are or are not vulnerable to isn't always consistent between editions. A lot of them are also [[Gotcha Monster]]s because of their use of camouflage or near invisibility. This is often enforced by their slow speed that ensure an unsupported ooze can simply be fled from. Their lack of biological needs aside from hunger (solved by dropping scraps to them) means they are often used as part of mundane traps, like an ooze at the bottom of a pit trap.

==Slimes in Dungeons and Dragons==
===Pre-3rd Edition===
* '''Gelatinous Cube''': Perhaps the most notorious slime to come out of the tabletop game field is the gelatinous cube, a D&D monstrosity that takes the form of a huge cube-shaped mass of near-translucent gray or green jelly, perfectly sized for oozing through the typical dungeon corridor as a living, insurmountable barrier. It was originally created by Gary Gygax as a joke, being the exact size of one grid square. Like the [[Rust Monster]] and [[Owlbear]], it's one of those absurdities that everyone pokes fun at, but which has too much nostalgic fondness from the fanbase for anyone to seriously consider getting rid of it. Later, fortunately, it ''did'' come with a half-assed explanation: wizards breed them as living janitorial services to clean the garbage out of the perfectly-square corridors of their evil dungeons. As it's also mostly-transparent, save for the dissolving bits of armor floating in it like fruit in a jello dessert, walking straight into it only to be engulfed is an occupational hazard for dungeon-delvers. It has a paralyzing touch. Its weaknesses vary depending on the edition. Oh, and this thing is so (in)famous that it even showed up in a Disney film!
<gallery>
Gelatinous cube Monster card.jpg
Gelatinous cube MCV1.jpg
Gelatinous cube MM 2e.png
Evils of haranshire cover.jpg
Gelatinous Cube 3e.jpg
Ooze 4e.jpg
Gelatinous Cube 5e.jpg
Gelatinous cube B1.png
</gallery>

* '''Black Pudding''' / '''Deadly Puddings''': Has nothing to do with the food called black pudding - this one has come to take Sam Tarly. Comes in other colors besides black, depending on what environment they are found in. All of the different colors are called Deadly Puddings. Can split if hit by weapons or lightning. Black puddings can dissolve organic material and metal. White puddings look identical to ice and snow and can instantly dissolve organic matter. Dun puddings live in deserts and can instantly dissolve leather, and can also eat metal. Brown puddings live in marshes and can instantly dissolve leather and wood. Stone puddings, grey puddings, and dense puddings all live underground. Stone puddings are slow moving and attack by dropping on prey from the ceiling, but can only dissolve flesh. Grey puddings can dissolve leather, wood, and metal, including magical armor, but they also are vulnerable to certain spells. Dense puddings are smarter than other puddings and infect people they attack with a debilitating disease, but are slower, not well camouflaged because of their blue color, and can only dissolve living flesh.
<gallery>
Black pudding ODD4.png
Black Pudding 1e.png
Black pudding MCV1.jpg
Black pudding MM 2e.png
Black Pudding 5e.jpg
Black pudding B1.png
</gallery>

* '''Grey Ooze''': Can rapidly corrode non magical metal similarly to a Rust Monster, but cannot dissolve stone. Is immune to cold and fire. Can camouflage itself as a puddle of water. In 5th edition they can sometimes develop the ability to use psychic attacks. Grey oozes are completely different in 4th edition. They have a foul smell that give an attack penalty and their acid attack can melt your bones.
<gallery>
Gray Ooze 1e.jpg
Gray Ooze 5e.png
Gray ooze B1.png
</gallery>

* '''Green Slime''': Green slimes are mostly immobile and are more similar to plants. Their only attack that they have is dropping on people who walk under them. Anybody who touches one will turn into one if they are not cured quickly. They are vulnerable only to fire, cold, and cure disease spells. They can eat through both metal and wood. The Green Slime returned in 4th edition but heavily changed. It is no longer immobile or able to infect people with a touch, but still prefers to surprise enemies by dropping on them. It is weak against fire and light. Green Slime returns again in 5th edition, but is now classified as a dungeon hazard instead of a monster and so doesn't have stats, though its traits are similar to how it behaved in early editions. It destroys metal and organic material on contact and can be destroyed by sunlight, anything that cures disease, or anything that does fire, cold, or radiant damage.
<gallery>
Green Slime 1e.png
Green slime tRoSP.png
</gallery>

* '''Ochre Jelly''': Similar to a black pudding but somewhat weaker. Only dissolves flesh. Can split if hit by weapons or lightning.
<gallery>
Ochre Jelly 1e.jpg
Ooze 4e.jpg
Ochre Jelly 5e.png
ochre jelly B1.png
</gallery>

* '''Crystal Ooze''': Native to the caverns of the Plane of Earth, these crystalline slimes usually subsist on the minerals found in rocks with the oldest being fuck hueg. While they're content to just leech what they need from their surroundings, Crystal Oozes will attack any living creature for the minerals in them and they're no push-overs either. Their slam attacks deal piercing and slashing damage and can crit on rolls of 18-20. They also give off a Subsonic Hum that can stun an opponent while the Ooze slithers over and engulfs them at their leisure. If the victim fails their Fortitude save, they become petrified and a new Crystal Ooze pops out in 1d4 hours. They're immune to the cold and electricity and resist fire; however, their bodies can shatter and split from bludgeoning and sonic attacks. Crystal oozes are completely different in second edition D&D. Instead, they are a variant of grey ooze that lives underwater and corrodes organic material, but not metal. Weapons can only deal 1 point of damage to a crystal oozes.
<gallery>
Crystal ooze S4.png
</gallery>

* '''Slithering Tracker''': An intelligent slime that is nearly transparent. It paralyzes victims and slowly drains them of plasma. In 5e, they are said to be created from humanoids who willingly gave up their forms to get revenge on somebody they hated.
<gallery>
Slithering tracker MCV2.jpg
Slithering Tracker 2e.jpg
Slithering Tracker 5e.jpg
Slithering tracker B2 PF.png
</gallery>

* '''Mustard Jelly''': What happens when an idiot wizard tries to polymorph into an Ochre Jelly. It produces poisonous fumes that smell like mustard and slow down those who breathe them in. It is intelligent and can split in two at will, instead of splitting when hit with weapons. It cannot climb up walls or squeeze through tight spaces like ochre jellies can. It is immune to normal weapons, takes half damage from cold and the magic missile spell heals it, and it can eat through wood.
<gallery>
Mustard Jelly.png
</gallery>

* '''Olive Slime''': A plant like slime similar to the green slime, but even more dangerous. Like the green slime it is immobile and attacks by dropping on people that walk under it, and it produces a venom that causes numbness so the victim may not even notice the attack. It possesses the victims it infects and slowly eats them from the inside out, turning them into plant like zombies that melt into olive slime when they die, and can spread the infection. It is immune to everything except acid, fire, cold, and cure disease spells, and spells that affect plants. The zombies are the same except they are weak to magic missile instead of cure disease. If a olive slime meets a green slime then one of them will destroy the other.
<gallery>
Olive Slime.png
</gallery>

* '''Stunjelly''': Similar to a gelatinous cube. It disguises itself as a stone wall, although remains semi transparent. It has most of the same weaknesses as a gelatinous cube, except that cold affects it normally. First appeared in [[Fiend Factory]] as the '''Living Wall'''.
<gallery>
Living wall WD 7.jpg
Stun Jelly 1e.webp
Stun Jelly 2e.png
</gallery>

* '''Aballin''': Also known as "living water", aballins are a type of slime that resembles a pool of stagnant water, strangely devoid of life and full of metals like coins and armor. Despite looking like water, Aballins are composed of a weak acid, which it uses to digest their victims after wrapping around their heads and drowning them (which means water breathing is pointless). Due to their semi-liquid bodies, they prefer to live in water but slither like slugs (up to a 30 degree slope). Unlike most other slimes, its roughly as smart as a wild animal and can learn to hunt its prey. Legend has it that the first was a druid polymorphed by an archwizard's curse. They are immune to fire, cold, and electricity, but are vulnerable to spells that affect water, and when they are pretending to be a pool of water they cannot be harmed by anything that wouldn't affect a pool of water. They also cannot be damaged by piercing and slashing weapons, and if you try there is a chance you will hit the person the aballin is trying to drown instead.
<gallery>
Aballin FF 2e.jpg
Aballin 2e.png
Aballin 3e.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Lava Ooze''': An ooze made of lava. They are immune to fire and vulnerable to cold. In third edition, it consumes metal and stone, but cannot digest gems, which become stuck its body until it is killed.

* '''Ghaunadan''': A shapechanger that serves the god [[Ghaunadaur]] whose true form resembles an ooze but also can transform into either a male human or a female [[Drow]] (So yes, this means that [[#Monstergirls|slimegirls]] are totally canon in D&D). In humanoid form they have a charming gaze and in ooze form their attacks cause paralysis. They are resistant to blunt weapons and while in ooze form can disarm enemies by trapping their weapons in its body.
<gallery>
Ghaunadan 2e.png
Ghaunadan MCAV2.jpg
Ghaunadan 3e.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Flareater''': A slime that likes to drop on prey from the ceiling. They are mobile unlike green slimes. While they can eat flesh, their favorite foods are light sources. They can increase their hitpoints by consuming both magical and non-magical light sources, and split when they reach enough hitpoints. They are immune to damage from light, heat, and fire, although long term sun exposure will kill them, and they are paralyzed by cold damage.
<gallery>
Flareater.png
</gallery>

* '''Symbiotic Jelly''': An intelligent slime that lives in a cave where it charms a carnivorous monster and uses illusions to make the monster appear as something less dangerous and add fake treasure to the cave to act as bait. When the monster it has charmed feeds on meat it somehow remotely feeds the slime as well. First appeared in [[Fiend Factory]] as the '''Chaoticus Symbioticus'''.
<gallery>
Chaoticus symbioticus WD 8.jpg
Symbiotic jelly FF 2e.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Acid Blob''': A smaller slime that moves by bouncing around and likes to hunt in packs. They can corrode metal.

* '''Alkilith''': A [[Tanar'ri]] with the form of an ooze. They exist to spread corruption and pollution, and by infesting a door or a window they can transform it into a portal to the [[Abyss]].
<gallery>
Alkilith 2e.png
Alkilith 3e.jpg
Alkilith 5e.png
</gallery>

* '''Omshirim''': A [[Mystara]]n slime that disguises itself as veins of precious metal. Created by Herathian mages by infusing a Lurker Above with quicksilver.
<gallery>
Omshirim MCSC.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Bloodsac''': Blood- and brain-sucking blobs from [[Spelljammer]] that are camouflaged as part of the night sky and travel through space in packs.
<gallery>
bloodsac MC9.jpg
</gallery>

* '''[[Plasmoid]]''': Intelligent Slimefolk from [[Spelljammer]]. There are two subraces: DeGleash and DelNoric. They unexpectedly made a return in 5th edition as a playable race.
<gallery>
degleash MCS1.jpg|DeGleash
delnoric MCS1.jpg|DelNoric
</gallery>

* '''Ontalak''': A slime that disguises itself as a fully functioning spelljammer vessel.
<gallery>
Ontalak MC7.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Mercurial Slime''': Another from Spelljammer. ''"Sometimes"'' the starlight reflected off of it will mesmerize anyone looking at it like a ''hypnotic pattern'' spell.
<gallery>
Mercurial slime MC9.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Silatic''': Eats metal. Comes in three types: gold, platinum and iron. Each type eats the metal it's named after.
<gallery>
Silatic MC9.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Darklore''': Slimes native to the [[Lower Planes]] that feed by sucking ''evil'' knowledge out of people's heads. They were created when a behemoth fleshcrafted by the [[yugoloth]]s got dunked into the River Styx. The puddles that splashed upon the banks of the river became the first Darklores.
<gallery>
Darklore Hellbound.jpg
Darklore MCAV4.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Impersonator''': A [[Ravenloft]] slime that can disguise itself as any one of its previous victims.
<gallery>
Impersonator MC Ravenloft.jpg
Impersonator DoD2.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Scamille''': Identical to the mimic. Native to [[Mystara]].
<gallery>
Scamille MC Mystara.jpg
</gallery>

===3rd/3.5 Edition===

* '''Bone Ooze''': A massive ooze that feeds by sucking people's bones out. Its insides are filled with sharp bone shards and they're stupidly deadly. They came back in 4th edition, renamed to bone collector, and classified as an undead ooze.
<gallery>
Bone Ooze.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Flesh Jelly''': A blob of flesh covered in a layer of skin. It grows by absorbing living creatures. Touching one can infect you with a disease called filth fever. [[Luke|It also has an overwhelmingly foul smell]].
<gallery>
Flesh Jelly.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Reason Stealer''': An unintelligent ooze with a craving for intelligence. When it delivers a killing blow it steal the victim's mind, gaining their stats, feats, skills, and prepared arcane spells for 24 hours, after which it becomes mindless again.
<gallery>
Reason Stealer.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Teratomorph''': A reality warping slime. Although it is neutral aligned like most slimes it has a lot of chaotic abilities. Its touch can, at random, weaken your stats, polymorph you, make it stick to you, or, if you are really unlucky, instantly absorb you. It randomly opens portals to other planes in the area around it. It also warps the environment around it, making attacks and dexterity checks more difficult, and has a chance of hitting everything around it with two random spells. It has the ability to detect law. It is immune to chaotic spells, lightning, and acid. Weapons have a chance of completely missing due to the section of its body you are attacking suddenly shifting to another dimension before you hit it unless it is affect by a dimensional anchor.
<gallery>
Teratomorph.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Arcane Ooze''': Is immune to spells and can steal spells from arcane spellcasters to give themselves temporary hitpoints. Magical acid attacks heal them, and magical lightning attacks speed them up.
<gallery>
Arcane Ooze.webp
</gallery>

* '''[[Living Spells|Living Spell]]''' (Template): One of the newer additions to the family. Originating in [[Eberron]]'s Mournlands, one of many results of the Day of Mourning, but since adapted to "generic" D&D. Living spell is a template that is applied to one or more spells instead of a creature to make a creature based on that spell or spells. It is always typed as an ooze. Enemies that are slammed or engulfed by the living spell are affected as though they were hit by the spell or spells it is based on. Living spells are also very resistant to magic. In 5th edition they are classified as constructs instead of oozes.

* '''Snowflake Ooze''': A snow like ooze that live in cold climates and inflicts cold damage. It is immune to cold and vulnerable to fire, piercing attack have a chance of harmlessly passing through it, and bludgeoning attacks cause it to split.
<gallery>
Snowflake Ooze.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Summoning Ooze''': A intelligent living summoning circle created by a summoning ritual gone wrong. It has the ability to cast summon monster spells. Immune to acid and fire.
<gallery>
Summoning Ooze.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Bloodfire Ooze''': An evil ooze made out of burning hot blood. It is created through ritually mixing the blood of 100 good or neutral humanoids with a demon's ichor. Is immune to fire and resistant to acid and electricity, and vulnerable to cold. It attacks with fire, and can empower fire spells cast within 60 feet of it.
<gallery>
Bloodfire Ooze.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Corrupture''': An amphibious ooze made of acidic liquid flesh that appears in areas where nature has been defiled by magic or pollution and attacks by spraying acid.
<gallery>
Corrupture.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Conflagration Ooze''': An intelligent ooze that attacks with a poison that causes your insides to burst into flame. Is immune to fire and vulnerable to cold. Some of them also explode when they die.
<gallery>
Conflagration Ooze.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Graveyard Sludge''': A slime made of necrotic energies and powered by the souls of the dead.When powerful necromancy is used around the dead, usually at graveyards during rituals or a [[Lich]] accending (though a really strong spell will do), the slime is formed and begins to hunt down any corpses to feed on the spiritual energy. The energy is used to defend itself but Liches like to use them as a means to bolster themselves. Graveyard Sludges can also cast 5th level or lower spells if they've fed on enough spellcasters. Their abilities are somewhat different in third edition. Creatures that die within 20 feet of graveyard sludge come back as zombies with an acid attack. They can cause fear, and strengthen undead creatures. They are immune to acid, and they are both alive and dead, so they are healed both by heal and inflict spells.
<gallery>
Graveyard Sludge.webp
</gallery>

* '''Bloodbloater''': A tiny aquatic ooze that drinks blood and attacks in swarms. Looks like an oversized cell. Because they are a swarm, they are immune to weapons and single target spells.
<gallery>
Bloodbloater.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Flotsam Ooze''': An aquatic ooze with a very sticky body which collects debris.

* '''Reekmurk''': A huge black aquatic ooze that lives in the depths of the ocean or in underground lakes. They can dissolve wood and have a powerful stench. They are immune to cold, but have a vulnerability to sunlight and spells that act like sunlight.

* '''Ethereal Ooze''': An incorporeal ooze from the ethereal plane. It naturally forms into crystalline cuboid shapes instead of being just a blob.
<gallery>
Ethereal Ooze.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Bloodrot''': Not actually a true slime, but is really a form of undead made from the remains of somebody who died by being completely dissolved in acid. Infects people with a magical disease called blood fever that causes the victim to melt into a puddle when they die which the blood rot eats. They can hide inside of the bloodstream of anyone who is infected with blood fever. They can also sense the location of anybody who is infected with blood fever within several miles, so if you escape from a battle with one but are infected then more will be attracted to you. Like many true oozes, it can split apart if hit by slashing or piercing damage. It came back again in 4th edition, now classified as an undead ooze, but lost its unique mechanics.
<gallery>
Bloodrot HoH.png
</gallery>

* '''Brine Ooze''': An ooze that lives in deserts. It either hides in salt lakes or pretends to be a pool of water. It has the ability to rapidly desiccate whatever it slams into and is immune to desiccation itself. Slashing and piercing damage causes it to split.

* '''Cesspit Ooze''': An ooze found in impoverished urban areas that feeds on fear and misery. They form spontaneously from the corpses of people who decayed in sewage or refuse in places near strong sources of magic. Its acid can dissolve organic and metallic materials but not stone. Those who are damaged by its acid may be driven into an uncontrollable rage. They have an overwhelming stink that sickens those that get too close to it. When they die, they explode and splatter acid around them. Slashing and piercing damage makes it split. They are immune to acid and resistant to electricity and fire, but have a weakness against positive energy similar to undead creatures. It is also more intelligent that other kinds of oozes, and are considered to be chaotic evil instead of neutral unlike other oozes.

* '''Sentry Ooze''' (Template): An ooze that has been modified with magic to make it stronger and more intelligent so it can act a guardian for a dungeon.

* '''Welp of Zargon''': Those infected by [[Zargon]]'s slime may transform into humanoid slime creatures. They deal acid damage and can also infect people with Zargon's slime. Creatures that get too close to one may be stunned by its horrific resemblance to its former self.

* '''Venom Ooze''': A more dangerous glowing variant of the Ochre Jelly that was engineered by the [[drow]]. They are immune to cold, acid, and electricity, and have the ability to poison large bodies of water.
<gallery>
Venom Ooze.png
</gallery>

* '''Blood Amniote''': ''Another'' monster made of blood. It is classified as an undead but has all the traits of an ooze. It is a huge mass of blood with the faces of people it has killed that makes people it touches expel their blood through their skin and it splits in two when it drains enough blood. They also came back in 4th edition as an undead ooze.
<gallery>
Blood Amniote.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Deathreap Ooze''': An ooze from [[Ravenloft]] that inflicts necrotic damage and can create undead creatures by enveloping a corpse, which makes them useful to necromancers.

* '''Skitterhaunt''': A parasitic ooze that infests and animates the corpses of giant bugs.

* '''Obsidian Ooze''': A molten serpentine ooze that attacks smaller prey with sharp spines and drags them into its magmatic interior. Any attacks that hit it tend to melt weapons and spray lava all over their foes.

===4th Edition===
* '''Slime Devil''': A devil specializing in interrogation that is also an ooze. It engulfs people and asks them questions, inflicting psychic damage if they lie.
<gallery>
Slime devil.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Abolethic [[Skum]]''': Sometimes when an [[Aboleth]] enslaves someone, the process goes wrong and turns them into an ooze. Abolethic Skums are invisible while in water and have an aura that makes enemies vulnerable to psychic attacks. It is a minion type enemy so it dies in one hit.

* '''Spirit Ooze''': An ooze formed from bits of insubstantial undead. They can hover and after hitting an enemy with their main attack become harder to damage and can shift by one square for one turn.

===5th Edition===
* '''[[Oblex]]''': Has the ability to create exact copies of anyone it has eaten except for the cord of slime attaching the copies to the oblex.
* '''Dragon Blood Ooze''': A ooze created by wizards experimenting with dragon body parts. In place of a dragon's breath weapon it can spray parts of itself on enemies.
<gallery>
DRAGONBLOOD OOZE 5e.png
</gallery>

===Pathfinder===
* '''Deathtrap Ooze''': Reversing the ooze used as part of a trap gimmick, a deathtrap ooze ''is'' the trap. Able to transform into any trap with one or fewer moving part, a deathtrap ooze can pretend to be disabled and attack adventurers from the rear or attack the poor sap attempting to disable it outright, and that's assuming it's even found.
<gallery>Deathtrap ooze B3.png</gallery>

* '''Gunpowder Ooze''': An ooze, made of gunpowder. Continuing the "guess the weakness" game above, it has vulnerability to fire but explodes and splits upon taking fire damage. It also coats people it attacks in gunpowder, making ''them'' liable to blowing up. The split and auto-combustion mean that this CR14 monster can be killed by nothing but two vials of alchemist fire creating a chain reaction of the split oozes blowing each other up. This means they're more living traps than anything.
<gallery>
File:Gunpowder Ooze.png
</gallery>

* '''Hungry Flesh''': An artifical ooze made of a huge pile of flesh. Thankfully they have very high nutritional needs (their own 3000 pound weight in food daily) so they'll quickly starve without support.

* '''Sapphire Ooze''': A sapient, extraplanar, good aligned ooze that can talk?! This ooze can transform into living armor for a creature and buff things with saves against fear. Being the rare sapient ooze, they actually have a personality: [[Leeroy Jenkins|Overeager adventure seekers that often get into trouble themselves.]]
<gallery>
Sapphire Ooze.png
</gallery>

* '''Carnivorous Blob''': Have you ever wanted to run a campaign based on the 80s version of “The Blob”? Use this, and accept no substitutes!
<gallery>
Carnivorous blob B2 PF.png
</gallery>

* '''Sewer Blight''': A low level ooze made of sewage that lives in the sewers under large cities.
<gallery>
Sewer Blight.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Slime Demon (Omox)''': A demon made of sewage that delights in desecrating bodies of water.
<gallery>
Omox.jpg
</gallery>

* '''Fell Flotsam''': Undead ooze created when the spirits of dead creatures combine with the muck at the bottom of a swamp or river.
<gallery>
Fell Flotsam.jpg

* '''Hungry Fog''': When the ooze is a gas instead of a liquid. It can form images inside itself to scare victims, but it also is vulnerable to wind based spells. And since it is a gas, non-magical weapons just pass through them harmlessly.
</gallery>

===Slime Deities===

* [[Juiblex]]: The demon lord of slimes and oozes.

* [[Ghaunadaur]]: The god of slimes and oozes, who may or may not be the same being as Juiblex.

* [[Zargon]]: An [[Elder Evils|Elder Evil]] associated with slimes.

* [[Bwimb]]: The [[Archomental]] of ooze. Got killed by [[Orcus|Tenebrous]] and replaced by his daughter Bwimb II.

==Slimes in Dragon Quest==
The slime is the mascot of the Dragon Quest video game series. Basic slimes are blue raindrop shaped creatures with cute faces. They come in a wide number of variants. One such variant are metal slimes, which give huge rewards for defeating them but are ridiculously difficult to beat due to their defensive abilities and tendency to run away before you can do any significant damage. Due to how iconic they are, [[TVTropes]] uses Metal Slime as the trope name for rare enemies in games that are tough to beat but give huge rewards. Not all slimes in the Dragon Quest are enemies. Good slimes usually introduce themselves by saying "I'm not a bad slime!"

Variants of this type of slime have been nigh-ubiquitous in various JRPGs for the last 30+ years. Given the small amount of separation between Japanese games and anime, it was only a matter of time before they became the focus of a series:

==That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime==
That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime is an [[Isekai]] light novel and [[anime]], about a normal Japanese man who dies and ends up in the body of a slime in a world resembling the Dragon Quest games. Slimes in this world are normaly unintelligent and weak monsters, but due to living a virtuous life (i.e. [[4chan|dying a virgin]]), he gets reincarnated with so much EXP that he starts his new life with a broken number of bonuses and immunities (funnily enough, the game decides that the humble slime is the ideal form to carry all these bonuses as they're naturally immune to everything, and sad for him because slimes are also asexual and thus he can't have sex); he's also reincarnated with an inner voice/AI called the Great Sage because he died a virgin at 30 (and thus beyond being an elegan/tg/entleman wizard) that he uses to [[metagame]]. They befriend a powerful dragon (the god of fucking monsters) and become the chief of a [[Goblin]] village, which they expand into a new nation. It is the most Mary Sue that you can Mary Sue, but is suprisingly tolerable because its main competition is edgy grimdark anime and of course, [[Monstergirl|copious helpings of big ogre tiddies]].

==Warhammer Fantasy==
In Warhammer Fantasy, there's actually an example of a Slime, or at least a creature that functions the same way. The Giant Amoebas of Warhammer Fantasy fulfill the same niche as Slimes in other settings, along with some examples being kept in the Altdorf Zoo in special glass and copper container to prevent them from escaping.

==[[Monstergirl]]s==
{{Monstergirls}}
Surprisingly, slimes have long been given the [[monstergirls]] treatment: Slime Girls (also known as Goo Girls) are typically not very smart, but very affectionate and horny, and their malleable gelatinous bodies have a ''lot'' of kinky shit they can do in the bedroom. In the more restrained versions a slime will engulf a guy while milking him dry, giving him a full body hug. This frequently results in cum floating around in the slime's body, often going towards a the slime's "heart", a core of a color that contrasts the body that is said to hold the slime's soul. It is often an erogenous zone [[/d/|because of course it is]]. In more extreme cases the slime will also penetrate the guy, engaging in stuff like sounding, or fucking him in the ass while he fucks her in the... well, [[Dark Eldar|everywhere is a hole for a Slime]]. There are also a few cases where [[vore]] starts to be involved, which would be a bit more true to nature for the slimes of D&D fame.

===MGE Slimes===
The Slime is one of the most profuse species in the [[Monster Girl Encyclopedia]] so far, second only to the [[Succubus]] family in terms of diverse members. The slimes of the MGE were heavily influenced by the slimes of the popular fantasy gaming series "Dragon Quest", with the Slime Queen and Slime Carrier in particular being derived from members of that series' vast array of slimes.

Your standard Slime in the MGE world is a dim-witted, happy-go-lucky aimless drifter that just squiggles around looking for a guy to sex. These stand out mostly via their blue coloration.

The Red Slime, in comparison, is smarter and more aggressive.

The green Bubble Slime has a unique chemical composition that causes her to constantly secrete bubbles of noxious-smelling gas. As a side-effect, she's no longer as sticky and cohesive as other slimes, making her grapples easier to escape. However, her substance is a powerful and addictive aphrodisiac, which eventually leaves her victim dependent upon regular ingestions of her drug-like mass. She was one of the first of the [[grimdark]] mamono.

The purple Dark Slime is an extremely powerful succubus/slime hybrid native to Demon Realms. The only slime-girl in the MGE with a core (thus far), they're also smart and predatory; they have the unique ability to corrupt human women, transforming them into new Dark Slimes, via a process that basically involves enveloping the women in their body, orgasmically digesting her alive, and then reforming her as a new slime.

Slime Queens are sometimes mistaken for normal slimes due to their being the same blue color. These slimes suffer a mutation that renders them incapable of physically dividing to reproduce like a normal slime; instead, they swell to massive proportions, and can manifest multiple slimegirl "bodies" from their central mass as they see fit, all of which are, of course, extensions of the slime's singular mind. The bigger she grows, the smarter she becomes. Kenkou Cross has asserted that there are actually Slime Queen variants for all of the standard slimes.

Sea Slimes are jellyfish-girls who live in the ocean, and so lack the shapeshifting prowess of their standard cousins.

Nureonagos are a Zipangu breed of slime whose name comes from a yokai that manifested as a soaking wet girl who comes wandering around on rainy nights. The Nureonago mamono is a slime with especially advanced mimicry abilities, allowing her to take the form of a solid human girl in clothes - but she can't deny her nature, and so always looks soaking wet.

Likewise, the Shoggoth is a slime-girl maid who specializes in shapeshifting, specifically in extruding pseudopods and shaping them into tools to help her do her various chores.

The Parasite Slime is a slime that can't take on a slime-girl form of its own, instead attacking human women and raping them until their mind breaks before using them as lures to attract human men to be their partners, turning them into the mindless fuck-puppets called "Slime Carriers". This is one of the two slimes that compete for the title of "most fucked-up mamono in the MGE".

The Humpty Egg is the ''other'' slime contender. See, in the region of the MGE world known as "Wonderland", there's a super-horny, busty and fluffy [[harpy]] species caled the Jubjub Bird. These harpies lay eggs, and if a man gets too close to an unhatched egg, there is a good chance that the unborn chick inside will become aware of his spiritual energies and react by ''bursting out of her shell as a horny [[loli]] slime-girl made of egg-guts'', essentially aborting herself to have sex faster. Consisting of a [[loli]] made up of goopy, semi-solid egg-yolk and surrounded by a malleable mass of egg-white they use to form the traditional slime pseudopods. These slimes actually lay eggs when they get pregnant, which usually hatch into new Jubjubs, but are more likely than "normal" Jubjub eggs to turn into Humpty Eggs. This species was met with considerable outcry when it was released, with even many [[loli]] fans going "seriously, dude, this is going too far!" (Was this supposed to be Rule 34 of Sanrio's Gudetama? If it is then it may be even more sick. Poor Gudetama! He doesn't deserve this.)

===Gallery===
<center>
<gallery>
File:MGE Slime.jpg|A normal slime.
File:MGE Red Slime.jpg|A red slime.
File:MGE Bubble Slime.jpg|A bubble slime.
File:MGE Dark Slime.jpg|A dark slime.
File:MGE Slime Queen.jpg|A Slime Queen.
File:MGE Shoggoth.jpg|A [[Shoggoth]].
File:MGE Nureonago.jpg|A Nurenago.
</gallery>
</center>

[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]][[Category: Monsters]]

Chaos Gods

2022-08-03T02:19:07Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Chaos Gods of Law */

{{heresy}}
{{Topquote|The creatures of the Warp are just "aliens" too, but they are not life forms as we understand the term. They are not organic. They are extra-dimensional, and they influence our reality in ways that seem sorcerous to us. Supernatural, if you will. So let's use all those lost words for them... daemons, spirits, possessors, changelings. All we need to remember is that there are no gods out there, in the darkness, no great daemons and ministers of evil. There is no fundamental, immutable evil in the cosmos. It is too large and sterile for such melodrama. There are simply inhuman things that oppose us, things we were created to battle and destroy.
|Horus Lupercal}}

The '''Chaos Gods''' are the gods which rule over the Realm of [[Chaos]] in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battles]] and the [[Warp]] in [[Warhammer 40,000]]. They love nothing so much as dicking with each other, except perhaps with their mortal followers, and literally each other (especially Slaanesh). Before they were gods, they were generally benevolent beings, when the Warp was a calm sea. Each one is formed by the emotions of living souls clumped together in the Warp/Realm of Chaos. Contrary to standard thought, they personify good attributes as well, and are powered as much by good as by bad. Even if said god started out entirely bad, in their eventual evolution as part of their natures, they will kill gods who represented entirely good things, and will gain not only their values, but their power by said value.

Be aware many of the gods' values will and do intersect. This is as much due to the chaotic nature of the gods as it is to the multitude of emotions that make up the living. For example: let's say you're literally obsessed with brutally murdering people and you get a real nice kick out of it. The act of spilling blood is gonna feed [[Khorne]], while the ecstasy and obsessive sensation you get out of it will feed [[Slaanesh]]. So yeah, there's some overlap, in that an individual doing a certain thing, under specific circumstances, can simultaneously feed multiple Chaos Gods, but the God who was invoked (whether intentionally or no) upon when commuting the action will get the most power out of it (I.E: You killed someone for Khorne. While your ecstasy from the murder will feed Slaanesh a bit, your simple act of ending a life will feed Nurgle, your continued ambition to please the Blood God to earn his favor will also feed Tzeentch a bit, but Khorne gets the most since you offered that kill to him foremost).

==Overview==
According to the wikifans over at the Official Warhammer 40k Wiki, the Chaos gods were created and are sustained by the collective emotions of 'every sentient being of the material universe'; so not just the Milky Way, but every alien, both heretical and loyal, in the whole universe. This however probably isn't true, or rather it's just very bad wording, because if the Milky Way alone has all of these sentient races in it, then there's a safe bet that most other galaxies in the rest of the universe also have a multitude of sentient races too. And there are like, at least billions upon billions of galaxies in the observable universe, let alone the true universe which is likely many magnitudes larger. Based on what we've seen in the fluff, ''That'' many galaxies, filled with ''that'' many sentient lifeforms, ''all'' feeding only ''four'' Chaos Gods, would give said Chaos Gods so much power that they would probably have the capability to turn the entire galaxy (and many others) into massive Eyes of Terror at a simple scheming click of their heretical fingers. But of course, that hasn't happened (thank the fucking Emperor). Which probably means those wikijerks are talking complete [[Bullshit|unadulterated bullshit]] (or are making the common and infuriating mistake of conflating "universe" with "galaxy"). In actuality, the full range of influence the Ruinous Powers have only extends to the area of the Milky Way and not much further. After all, a specific location in the Warp corresponds with a specific location in the Materium; your thoughts and emotions will have an effect (albeit very minor) on the Warp in your specific corresponding location, and the collective thoughts and emotions of a galaxy's population will only have an effect on that specific galactic area of the overall Warp. This essentially means the four Chaos Gods are completely confined to the Milky Way galaxy, because that's where the emotions that created and feed them are currently being felt.

So what does that really mean? Well, it means the Warp in the vast, cold, empty space between galaxies is calm as fuck, absolutely nothing like the infested shitty plughole it is right now in our home galaxy, because there's no sentient life and hence no chaotic emotions there to stir it up. However, this also means that if other galaxies out there have their own interstellar sentient species with a presence in the Warp, then those galaxies will have their own Chaos Gods [likely just analogous versions of the four ([[Malal|point five]]) we have, although it's also possible that the different emotions might be allocated differently for each galactic pantheon; Andromeda might have gods based on the seven deadly sins, for example] that reside there and are also confined to the area of their own galaxy. But who knows? Maybe each warp god is a reflection of the galaxy that birthed it, and the aliens that live in other galaxies there have actually got their shit together and all get along like best buddies in a setting that just oozes [[Noblebright|noblebright]] from every pore, and the Chaos Gods there aren't even called that because they're all so friendly and cushy to everyone and like to play vidyagames with each other and cracking open cold ones on a warm Friday night while watching The Batchelor. Maybe the Warp gods in most galaxies actually maintain contact with those in neighbouring ones, and everyone just stays the fuck out of the Milky Way for the same reason most 21st century tourists stay out of Somalia. How sweet... I wonder what would happen if two galaxies, both with their own analogous Chaos Gods, collided. Would they just absorb each other into a new pantheon of four even-more-powerful Gods? Would they fight each other until one reigned supreme? Or would they get along like good ol' chums since they understand each other perfectly? Anyway, tangents. This fallacy is explained further in detail just right below.

Now that I say all of this, why the actual '''FUCK''' has no one decided to just up and leave the galaxy already?! It's a complete shithole! It's filled to the absolute brim with nothing but copious amounts of [[Grimdark]] and a whole host of things that want to murder, rape and eat you, not necessarily in that order. And it's ''still'' being filled up with that shit, both [[Necron|crawling out from under the ground]] and [[Tyranid|flying in from outer space to OMNOMNOMNOM the faces of everyone you both despise and adore]]. Even if you're lucky enough to escape the immediate crossfire, you're still likely to be part of [[Imperium|a civilisation that completely smashes any feeling of worth or individuality out of you and treats you like just another cog in the machine of trillions of cogs]]. Just leave already, god dammit. What about Andromeda? I hear it's rather pleasant this time of year. At least compared to this literal hellhole. But it's probably not possible for the same reason why [[Roboute Guilliman|Big Bobby G]] and [[Lion El'Johnson|Lion-O]] couldn't simply fly over the Ruinstorm to get to Terra; if the space between galaxies is calm because there are no souls, that probably means there's no warp either, making intergalactic travel impossible. But this is just baseless speculation that contradicts the nature of the Warp's existence, specifically that the Warp is influenced by life, not created by life, and existed before even the first lifeforms did. Plus, you need to be Necron-tier to get pass the nids off galaxy. Or it could be things like the Void Dragon possibly eating a million galaxies before returning to ours where he then met the Emperor, the Tyranids consuming a thousand galaxies, and generally such things indiciate that outside of the Milky Way is worse than in the Milky Way.

But then again, It is officially stated that Warhammer 40k and Warhammer Fantasy are completely different franchises which just so happen to have the same Warp with the same Chaos Gods.

Now, where were we? Oh yes, Chaos Gods. Ahem.

===On the Question of Omnipotence===

One of the most [[Skub|talked about and hotly debated topics]], especially amongst Chaos players is the question of Omnipotence. [[Matt Ward|Other than massive fanwanking and colossal jerk-offs,]] it must be stated and stressed that the Chaos Gods for all their strength are not omnipotent, for to be omnipotent means to be all-powerful and the idea of the Great Game greatly debunks this claim. Part of the problem may lie in the fact that folks like to give examples of the power of the Chaos Gods from codexes from the Rogue Trader era and Second Edition, eras which are of ''dubious'' canonicity. You see, what they don't seem to understand is that GW, especially ''early'' GW, had a habit of making use of flowery language and hyperbole to exaggerate the grandeur of something or someone. This by itself is not a problem, as 40k runs on exaggeration. The problem is that [[Powergamer|''some folks'']] seems to lack any ability to discern nuances or critical thinking skills and proceed to extrapolate these hyperboles as true, completely ignoring the fact that the majority of these flowery examples came from either a) the viewpoint of a Chaos Cultist b) in-universe propaganda and/or c) extremely old sources where [[Ian Watson|all sorts of wacky hijinks were birthed.]] As such, the credibility is highly suspect and should be taken with a mountain of salt.

So when sources 'claim' that the Chaos Gods could destroy 'universes' or Greater Daemons were [[Exterminatus|destroying entire planets wholesale]] within the [[Warp]], the validity should be scrutinized in the same way fa/tg/uys scrutinize [[Furries]]. What the Chaos Gods or their followers claim to be true (remember that they are notorious [[Bullshit|liars]]) does not match up with their actual abilities both in Warpspace and in Realspace. If they were truly multiversal as they claim, then, first of all, the [[Hive Mind|Shadow of the Warp]] should not be an existential threat to them. After all, a true universal - let alone multiversal - entity should not even notice a few intergalactic bugs on the windshield. Moreover, the Necron Pylons should also not be considered a threat to the big four, for if they possess such levels of reality-warping power, they should not be dependent in letting their [[Failbaddon|errand boy]] do all their dirty work for them in realspace. Even in the Warp, their so-called 'omnipotence' did not stop a certain [[Kaldor Draigo|Mary Sue]] from trashing their backyard from time to time.

The reality is the Chaos Gods, as far as deities go in Science Fiction, are pretty weak sauce. For example:
*They are utterly dependent on the emotions of a single galaxy (if they really did not care about emotions as some may claim, then they shouldn't be ''that'' invested in the Imperium now would they?).
*Certain [[Tyranids|critters with enough mindless psychic connections can close entire Warp-rifts and there is nothing the Chaos Gods can do about it;.]]
*Tzeentch's self-proclaimed omniscience is put into doubt seeing as how he and his [[Kairos Fateweaver|underlings]] failed to predict the rise of [[Roboute Guilliman|Robo Guillitan]] [[Gathering Storm|and the following]] [[Indomitus Crusade|mechinations of it]].
*Their self-proclaimed reality-warping powers are self-contained in the Warp, and even then it is restricted to their own realms. Much like how a child could create and manipulate anything in a sandpit does not automatically equate to the child turning sand into gold, the same analogy applies here - seriously it is telling that the Gods of Chaos couldn't do jackshit about the Necron Pylons for ''60 million years'' since the War in Heaven.
*Their dreaded Chaos corruption such as Scrapcode could literally be stopped by an AdMech Priest cutting off the connections fast enough during the Fall of Mars, knowing how abysmal 40k's A.I. are, that shit ain't touching the likes of a [[The Culture|Culture Mind,]] [[Halo|a Contendor-class A.I.,]] and the [[Xeelee Sequence|Anti-Xeelee]]. To state otherwise would be a No Limit Fallacy and a False Equivalency since the idea of scrapcode would be overpowered against the likes of the Necrons, Tau and the AdMech, yet this shit has seldomly been used which suggests limitations on the behalf of Chaos.

In retrospect, the contradictions of what the Chaos Gods/followers ''claim'' and what they are actually shown to do is no different than the problems the [[Hive Mind]] has found itself in as [[Tyranid#'Masters of Evolution'?|can be read here.]] They are all bound by GeeDubs' status quo and the balance of power, as such their powers are restricted insofar in one galaxy to preserve the status quo. With the bombshell of '''Godblight''', the argument of omnipotence has finally been shot down after Chaos got hit with a ''massive'' [[nerf]] bat. From the [[Emprah]] suggesting that the Daemon Primarchs can be redeemed, thereby making the threat of Chaos corruption impotent to Big-E literally shoving his Power Sword up [[Nurgle|Nurgle's]] ass and his garden, '''''permanently''''' wounding him grievously, to the outright confirmation that a Chaos God without sufficient faith would degenerate into Warp-soup and become perma-K.O. as faith is what gives Warp entities sentience. Godblight has single-handily trashed any presumption of Chaos omnipotence in but a few chapters, and let's not even get into a single [[Primaris Lieutenant]] kicking one of the strongest Nurglite Greater Daemons in the ass...[[Bullshit|''somehow'']].

So are the Chaos Gods powerful? In the universe of [[Star Wars]], [[Star Trek]] and [[Bioware|Mass Effect]], sure, of course they are. Are they omnipotent multiversal destroyers? Hell the fuck no. If you're honestly thinking that these ''guys'' are in the same ballpark as [[/co/|the Abstract Entities of Marvel and DC]], [[Doctor Who|the Time Lords]] or the motherfucking Downstreamers, then you should probably go see a doctor for a prostate exam; constant wanking is bad for ya health you know.

[[Tl;dr]], 40k is prone to not applying the concept of '''Show Don't Tell''', which is ironic given the reputation of 40k in general, but it happens again and again and again. A good narrative showcases its targets' capabilities and feats, a bad narrative just tells them to the viewers. If the Chaos Gods can actually pop universes like grapes, ''then we better fucking see them popping an actual universe''. No wishy-washy flowery language, no offhand statements in the codex, no shenanigans inside the Warp which is unreliable ''at best''. '''Show Don't Tell'''. It isn't just the Chaos Gods that are guilty of this mind you, the [[Men of Iron]] and even the [[War in Heaven]] [[Necron]]s are guilty of this as well. Sun-snuffing machines the size of Saturn's rings and Breath of the Gods asshattery means jack shit if we don't actually see them in action. '''Show Don't Tell'''.

==Khorne==
{{Main|Khorne}}
[[File:Khorne First.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Lord of RAEG, War, Butthurt, Steroids and Testosterone. Really just a grouchy puppy.]]

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES! BUTTER FOR THE POP KHORNE! Oh, sorry. In case it wasn't obvious, Khorne is the god of battle, martial honor, and oh yeah, BLOOD! Although primarily formed from hate and rage, bravery and honor are also thrown in the mix. Also in the mix are mercy (in particular, mercy for those too weak to put up a fight and be a challenge to kill. This is almost never shown in the fluff though, annoyingly), courage, regret, fear, athleticism, determination, daring, impulsiveness, and struggling onward in the face of any odds.
* Gender - DEFINITELY A MAN, AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!! <strike> I thought he was female? </strike> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* *BLAM!* THAT'S DOUBLE HERESY!!'''}}
* Main Enemy - Slaanesh, as he considers him/her/them to be too frilly and really doesn't care about sensations, especially when they prolong the spilling of blood, to the point fluff wise it is distinctly pointed out he hates the priss even more than tzeench, going so far as to have slaaneshi and khornates have the hatred special rule against eachother.
* Bro god - Nurgle, although he doesn't seem to mind Khaela Mensha Khaine (they're probably the same thing, though), and he is rumored to be in a polyamorous relationship with Mork and Gork.
* Love Interest - Gork and Mork (see above). [[Valkia the Bloody]] (Canonically - yes, your brain is now broken).
* Dedicated [[Chaos Space Marine]] Legion - The [[World Eaters]], other various chapters and bands of warriors dedicated themselves to him since. Also has IG-equivalent armies like the [[Blood Pact]].
*[[Warriors of Chaos]] "Hero"/Chaos Tribe: Arbaal the Undefeated (ANGRY VIKINGS!! FUCK YEAH!!), Valkia the Bloody, Scylla Afingrimm (former warlord turned [[Chaos Spawn]] and still kicks ass), Hrafn Untam, Haargroth the Blooded, Skarr Bloodwrath. Khorne also has an entire Norse confederation especially devoted to him known as the Aeslingr.
* Sacred Number - 8 ("The eightfold path")
* Adjective - Khornate

<center><gallery>
File:WE Heretic Astartes 2.png|A Khornate Berzerker Heretic Astartes of the [[World Eaters]] Traitor Legion.
</gallery></center>

==Nurgle==
{{Main|Nurgle}}
[[File:Nurgle Old.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Despite his and his minion's appearances, they're actually pretty nice (for debatably self-aware boogers).]]

Nurgle is the god of filth, pestilence, decay, and generally being a cool dude (which are [[Neckbeard|obviously related]]). Formed from despair and fear of death, his portfolio also includes acceptance and stoicism. Other values include inevitability, empathy, kinship, struggle, (familial) love, tradition, mercy, and memory. Nurgle is also notable for being the only Chaos god that cares for his followers whatsoever, bordering on love (in fact in 40k, he loves the [[Eldar]] goddess [[Isha]] so much that he [[grimdark|chained her up and force feeds her his new diseases]], because that's the only way he knows how to express love... yeah, love sucks <s>sometimes</s> <s>all the time</S> most of the time). Also note that one aspect of him that is played up in the End Times is that he is in fact the god of life, only for him it means unrestrained, infinite life such as with pathogens and tumors.
* Gender - A (slob of a) man. A VERY fat, old one.
* Main Enemy - Tzeentch, the paragon of hope and change, in opposition to Nurgle's representation of decay and inevitability.
* Bro god - Khorne, mostly because Nurgle is the only Chaos god Khorne doesn't entirely hate.
* Love Interest - His joy and wife, [[Isha]]. Now pins for Alarielle, since he [[Everqueen#Isha.2FAriel_Alarielle_Fusion_Dance.21|lost Isha to her]].
* Dedicated [[Chaos Space Marine]] Legion - The [[Death Guard]]. Has tons of other followers like the [[The Purge]] (omnicidal wackos who have no problem using chemical and virus weapons on helpless populations), [[Apostles of Contagion]] ([[Zombie Plague]] aficionados), the [[Lords of Decay]] (utterly loyal Marines sent to die in the Eye, holy fuck these guys made a direct assault on the Solar System and won Pluto), and human IG armies like the rebellion on [[Vraks]].
* [[Warriors of Chaos]] "Hero"/Chaos Tribe: [[Valnir|Valnir the Reaper]], old school champion of Nurgle; [[Festus the Leechlord]] (this guy used to be a doctor in the Empire; he's not even a Northman). The Crow Brothers of the Björnlings are especially devoted to him also (Festus leads these guys), the [[Glottkin]], [[Gutrot Spume]] (a Nurglite pirate barbarian), the [[Maggoth Lords]] of Icehorn Peak. It could also be possibly argued (especially considering [[Age of Sigmar|Age of Skubmar]]) that the Skaven Clan Pestilens is some sort of splinter cult built on worshipping Nurgle while thinking that they're worshiping an aspect of the Horned Rat.
* Sacred Number - 7 (though 3 is also a popular number)
* Adjective - Nurglite
* Please note that the above lore mixes both Warhammer fantasy lore and Warhammer 40k lore which, although the character is virtually indistinguishable, are not the same thing. [[Skub|Maybe]].

<center><gallery>
File:Plague Marine 8th Ed.png|A [[Plague Marine]] of the [[Death Guard]] Traitor Legion.
</gallery></center>

==Slaanesh==
{{Main|Slaanesh}}
[[File:Slaanesh Old.jpg|thumb|right|200px|The embodiment of all things PR0N.]]

Slaanesh is the god/dess of pain, pleasure, and perfection... or, in other words, a god of [[1d4chan|emotions formed from emotions]], not all of which are bad. In 40k (WHFB didn't elaborate how Slaanesh was born, so we can only assume he/she/they manifested normally like the other Gods), the an inherently psychic race called the [[Eldar]] created him/her/them by having so many damn orgies they tore space-time a new asshole (The Eye of Terror). Formed mainly from hedonism and excess, love and creativity are also attributes of Slaanesh. Other facets include perfectionism, obsessiveness, attention-whoring, jealousy, sensuality, [[Doomrider|DRUGS]], empathy, self-expression, individuality, art, music, joy, and admiration (so quite literally the god of sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll!).
* Gender - Whatever you want it to be, sugar! In WH Fantasy you'll see illustrations of a lecherous old hag / old man / old bits-of-both; in WH40k depictions are of a young flamboyant hermaphrodite.
* Main enemy - The brutish Khorne, obviously. H-he never calls...
* Bro god - Tzeentch, although that's mostly because he's the least icky of the Chaos gods. His/her/their friendship with Nurgle is a bit questionable since he stole [[Isha]] during Slaanesh's proverbial and... literal raping of the former Eldar Empire, though it isn't shown anywhere that Slaanesh still openly detests Nurgle for that (Hell, their daemons temporarily joined forces once or twice). Generally the most open to working with the others.
* Love Interest - All of them. Still pines for Isha, and is depressed no one ever seems to love him/her/them back. Tries to tempt Khorne into raping him/her/them. Gave up on Nurgle after he got married. For a long time has been pining for Tzeentch of all people, but she can never seem to make him think she likes him as more than just a friend. Basically, she's the hot chick who got friendzoned by the nerd. But he/she/they won't give up!
* Dedicated [[Chaos Space Marine]] Legion - [[Emperor's Children]]. Also has others to call on like The [[Flawless Host]] (their drugs make Emperor's Children's look like baking powder), [[Violators]] (these guys body sculpt themselves enough to make a [[VtM|Tzimisce]] well up with pride), as well as, again, various IG-equivalent armies.
* [[Warriors of Chaos]] "Hero"/Chaos Tribe: Sigvald the Magnificent (he really is quite magnificent...), [[Dechala|Dechala the Denied one]], former high elf maiden turned into near greater daemon level, Azazel, former bro of [[Sigmar]], Styrkaar of Sortsvinear. <s>The Varg tribes serve him.</s> NO WE DON'T. Likely that the Hung worship him/her/them, purely judging from their nomenclature. Also, [[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Dark Elves]], pre-retcon.
*Sacred Number - <s>sex</s> 6. Probably 69 and 420 as well, due to what they’re associated with.
* Adjective - Slaaneshi

<center><gallery>
File:Mandraykh Blyss EC.png|A Slaaneshi-Heretic Astartes of the [[Emperor's Children]] Traitor Legion.
</gallery></center>

==Tzeentch==
{{Main|Tzeentch}}
[[File:Tzeentch Old.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Change we can all believe in...]]

Tzeentch is the god of [[Just as planned]], being a wishy washy nerd, and magic, arguably the coolest and most potentially powerful of the four due to being nerfed from his actual true power in the height of his age of coming from both respective canons of Warhammer and generally being the most victorious when fighting against humanity and other races as a scheming jerkass. Tzeentch is formed from paranoia and plotting, but also, amazingly enough, hope and ambition. Other values include trust, curiosity, dissatisfaction, aspiration, progress, knowledge, learning, protection, will, anarchy, and change.
* Gender - Always changing, but usually male or genderless.
* Main Enemy - Nurgle, because he symbolizes stagnation, a.k.a. refusal towards change. Khorne as well, as the jock bullies him for his nerdiness, which is what Tzeentch wants you to believe, in truth he bullies and torments Khorne.
* Bro god(dess) - Slaanesh, who isn't as brutal/dumb as Khorne and not as much of a lazy bastard as Nurgle. Plus, he/she/they're nice to little Tzeentch! [[Cegorach]] might have a Shonen Rival Bro Bond with him when they dont fight on different teams.
* Love Interest - Kind of wishes that the Deceiver, Cegorach, and the Emperor were chicks. For female gods hes got an Eye for [[Arianka]] since she's a rival to his whole all play to her all work dynamic and wants her to be the [[Isha]] to his Nurgle.
* Dedicated [[Chaos Space Marine]] Legion - [[Thousand Sons]], and basically no other Space Marine groups; only [[The Scourged]] are canonical non-TS-descendants who are dedicated to Tzeentch. Tzeentch also apparently doesn't have any IG-equivalent armies dedicated to him in particular (besides the [[Prospero Spireguard]] who are more like the Thousand Sons auxilia than anything else). In-universe this is most likely because if a Guardsman is going to turn to a specific Chaos god, the prospect of [[Khorne|power and unending glorious conquest]], [[Nurgle|freedom from all pain and suffering]], or [[Slaanesh|all the booze, drugs and whores you can handle and then some]] are more attractive options than being a scheming nerd. Or else Tzeentch's non-marine cultists are rarely warriors or soldiers, more often power-hungry bureaucrats, nobles, Imperial Governors, and even Inquisitors. Out of universe it's hard to make Tzeentch-focused units other than TS when their signature units are sorcerers, who only come in small quantities on the tabletop, and the Sons-specific Rubric Marines. He also offers limited knowledge of the future, represented in game with a boosted Ward save from the Mark of Tzeentch.
* [[Warriors of Chaos]] "Hero": <s>Vilitch the Curseling</s> [[Egrimm van Horstmann|Egrimm van Horstmann]]. No Chaos Tribe seems to revere him to any exceptional extent (well there was this Sarl tribe and it was ruled by a Tzeentch chieftian, but [[Wulfrik the Wanderer|Wulfrik]] killed him as well as his son) but he pulled out some nasty tricks such as becoming the grand magister of the Order of Light and fucking said order up before flying away on top of a dragon. Also, got [[Cathay]] in a bag.
* Sacred Number - 9
* Adjective - Tzeentchian

<center><gallery>
File:TS Sorc Divination.png|A Tzeentchian Chaos Sorcerer of the [[Thousand Sons]] Traitor Legion.
</gallery></center>

==Malal==
{{Main|Malal}}
[[File:Malal.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Then we have this motherfucking out of place/odd one out weirdo here....]]

Though not as relevant as the other big four, Malal is still more notable than the other minor Gods mentioned below. He's sort of the borderline between major and minor chaos gods.

Malal is a renegade Chaos god that only appeared in one comic for Fantasy before his creators divorced and took their character with them, resulting in GW shitcanning most of the original sculptors and artists. Then he was replaced with two entirely different characters with the same basic domain before being quietly swept under the rug and forgotten, barring the odd reference that slips out here and there. He is fittingly the god of fractiousness and dissent, which means his power is parasitic: any time the four other major Milky Way Warp gods do their thing, which is to say strive to gain power at the expense of the materium and eachother, Malal grows in power as well. Because of his nature as a common enemy to the big four and thus a Warp Entity that fights the Warp, he is also sometimes a god of atheism, contradictions, and paradoxes, when he exists at all. That being said, he did have awesome champions who lived solely to hunt down the greatest champions of the other gods, which is pretty [[Awesome]]. Sadly (or not, depending on your opinion), [[Games Workshop]] idiotically lost the rights to his name, so he's been more or less retconned. Except now he might be back in 40k, with a [[Chaos Space Marine]] warband called the [[Sons of Malice]] who worship a god called Malice...who just happen to wear a color scheme of black and white, and just happen to have a symbol of a bisected skull, and whose premier Chaos weapon specializes in killing Daemons. There's also [[Beastmen]] of Malal in one of the card games. But nope, don't you dare say they worship Malal. Like Khorne, Malal has an aspect of hate, however it's more along the lines of loathing (including towards self), [[derp|malice]] and cold contempt compared to Khorne's ragey hot-blooded variety. While a worshipper of either might shoot up a school, a malal worshipper would probably think of it like exterminating pests rather than a pleasant rampage. Beyond all that, his portfolio includes paradoxes, justice, revenge, nihilism, and the inevitability of Chaos turning upon itself. Every time the others fight or power shifts between them, he grows stronger. Just like Chaos will eventually win and consume all worlds, Malal will eventually win and consume all Chaos resulting in oblivion for all things...then if GW took the full bite off Moorcock's work and not just the parts they wanted, the whole thing starts all over again from the beginning.
* Gender - Maleal
* Main Enemy - EVERYONE. Because Malal's an edgy loner who doesn't play by the rules (also because he represents one of the few things GW didn't steal from [[Moorcock]], that Chaos eventually destroys itself), although the forces of [[Chaos Undivided]] might logically be prioritized over other folk.
* Bro God(ess) - Probably any character that has been retconned away, that [[Squats|is angry about not being a part of the canon anymore]]. A story where he temporarily joins forces with someone like Emps or the [[C'tan]] might also work.
* Love Interest(s) - As per his nature as an edgelord, he has a tsundere love-hate relationship with chaos itself.
* Dedicated [[Chaos Space Marine]] Chapters - [[Sons of Malice]]. And that just about sums it up. No Imperial Guard equivalent, no daemon spawn, nothing (that we know of). So yeah, that pretty much makes him a god of hipsters too. /tg/ has made a fan-codex for [[Malal Daemonkin]], though, so go help yourself :)
* [[Warriors of Chaos]] "Hero"/Chaos Tribe: A fellow named Kaleb Daark was Malal's first revealed servant, who swung around a pterodactyl head on a stick. The Ogre Skrag the Slaughterer fucked up dwarves in his name before pussying out to follow some shitty Ogre god thanks to retcons. There's a small tribe of Beastmen named the Claws of Malal as well.
* Sacred Number - 11
* Adjective - Malalic

<center><gallery>
Image:Maxresdefault.jpg|220px|A Malalic Space Marine
</gallery></center>

==Great Horned Rat==
{{Main|Horned Rat}}
[[File:Betterskaven.jpg|220px|right|thumb|Thinks he's better than sliced Jesus.]]

This otherwise-unnamed deity is patron of the [[Skaven]], and god of... well, rats. He also infringes copyright on both Nurgle's and Tzeentch's portfolios, but it's mostly rats. The Horned Rat once appeared in material form; he's the only Chaos god to do so. Of course, in Skaven fashion, he just ate a ton of the Skaven present, gave some orders and left; the Skaven only serve him out of fear, even though their belief in him only makes him stronger. He left them with a warpstone monolith containing the Skaven equivalent of the Ten Commandments.

In Age of Sigmar he was promoted to Chaos God following the demotion of Slaanesh out of the Great Game.
* Gender - Referred to as male.
* Main Enemy - Everyone, backstabbing is his primary creed and portfolio. Being cowardly, he will also work with any Chaos God, mostly Nurgle. Archaon shows him the least respect, however.
* Bro God(ess) - Nurgle, as far as his followers are concerned. They have very similar hobbies.
* Love Interest(s) - As Skaven themselves are incapable of feeling love, it is unlikely GHR can either.
* Dedicated [[Chaos Space Marine]] Chapters - None. Great Horned Rat does not exist in 40k. Although there are [[Death Guard]] miniatures with [[Skaven]] heads.
* [[Warriors of Chaos]] "Hero" - [[Clanrats]]. All of them. ALL OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also apparently [[Thanquol]], because the Great Horned Rat thinks his fuckups are hilarious.
* Sacred Number - 13

==The Other Ones==
Older editions of Warhammer Fantasy and 40k mention several lesser Chaos gods. Nowadays, they only appear(ed) in WFB (and even then, only sparingly), with some (the Horned Rat and Hashut in particular) generally considered to be separate from the "main" Chaos pantheon.

Until the Horned Rat replaced Slaanesh as the Fourth Chaos god in End Times. This change did not affect 40k.

===Warhammer Fantasy===
====Ashedte'gash====
A Minor Chaos God who was once an orphan on the streets of the Empire, who grew up learning that strength and cleverness are what allows one to survive, and that those who are weaker and stupider should be climbed over and killed to serve their betters. As such, he is served by only a few Greater Daemons, as the Lesser Daemons that followed him were all killed off for realsies in the Warp by their betters in an Ayn Randian survival-of-the-fittest natural selection murderfest.

Ash has only a handful of Greater Daemons serving him. All of the lesser daemons were destroyed in the ever present struggles to prove oneself to Ash. The remaining daemonic servants of Ashedte'gash are heavily armored Greater Daemons, wearing plate armor, carrying giant two handed swords. Little is known of these foul servants of Ashedte'gash. They lack wings to fly, but except from this nothing is known, but of their great strenght at arms.

====Atagro====
Lord of Beasts, was once mortal but was risen to Minor Chaos God status by Shagraunt, another Minor Chaos God, deeds included slaying a Sandworm in Araby. Atagro is a huge vicious creature clad in glistening black armor and crowned with a fierce, horned helm atop his blackened, skeletal head. Atagro's eyes burn with a fiery luminance, and he wears a huge shroud-like cloak. Tormented, vaguely human wretches struggle and writhe to peer out from under its folds. Atagro's armor is decorated with all the symbols of chaos, as he was once their most powerful champion. His hands are filthy and rotted; capped with grim steel talons and dark metal studs. Atagro's weapon, Kagorr, is a huge tooth edged sword with a second blade extending from the handle. The mighty god wields the blade with whirling grace and deadly precision. Kagorr is the most powerful weapon of chaos ever created and less powerful blades of similar appearance are often granted to Atagro's followers.
*'''Storm Lasher''' (also known as ''Serpent-Giants'', ''Twisting Punishers'', or ''Lashing Gargantuans''): These disgusting creatures appear as bloated gray skinned giants with long flailing tentacles for heads. The creatures have thick, two fingered hands with each finger ending in huge dark tentacles. Their short opposable thumbs are their only true fingers. The storm lashers are so named due to their affinity for lightning. Lashers whip their enemies with tentacles and make a sound like thunder when they run.
*'''Gull Grinder''' (also known as ''Raging Slug Men'', ''Screaming Beasts of Frenzy',' or ''Atagro's Habitations''): These creatures are among the more deadly of Atagro's demons. They appear as huge brown skinned strongmen with slug bodies for legs. Their enormous muscled arms end in the heads of lions and their own flat, bald heads are featureless save for beady black eyes and huge mottled beaks. The Gull Grinders attack by biting or spewing fireballs with their lion heads.
*'''Corpse Render''' (also known as ''Butchers of Atagro'', ''Beast-Lords'', or ''The Dark Titans''): The horrifying Corpse Renders are absolutely Atagro's most powerful greater demons. They look like massive 20' humanoids with black skin and the heads of rhinos. The Corpse Renders arms end in spherical masses of dark, twisted blades which spin and rotate at the will of the demons. The Renders awesome muscular legs end in flattened black hooves which they may scrape across the ground as they snort in anticipation of a coming fray.

====Be'lakor====
{{main|Be'lakor}}
The first [[Daemon Prince]] and ostensibly the only Daemon Prince of [[Chaos Undivided]], Be'lakor commands a great amount of power over the Realms. While still under the thumb of his four parents, he has been able to control a sizeable army of followers and has claimed to have even influenced [[Archaon]].

====Chaos Gods of Law====
Alluminas, Arianka, and Solkan the Avenger. These old-school dudes have their own page!

====Hashut====
{{main|Hashut}}
Hashut apparently means "Father of Darkness" in Dwarfen, which naturally means he's the god of the [[Chaos Dwarfs]]. And if his followers are any indication, he's also god of penis-compensating hats.

====Khakkek====
[[File:KhakkekkFollowers.jpg|200px|right]]
From old-school Warhammer, was the god of the Chaos Goblins. Was only mentioned once or twice, but was described as a red skinned, 8 limbed spidery-goblin who was a god of bloodletting but unlike Khorne, allowed for magic. Described as seen as halfway between Khorne and Khaine. The picture above shows a cult of his worshippers. If you look closely, you can see the Symbol of Chaos on the Shaman's Loincloth.

*'''Greater Daemon:''' The Great Demons of Khakkek feature an almost Goblinoid physiognomy, so they can be easily mistaken, from afar or in poor light, for an Orc (albeit very large). On closer inspection, however, we discover glowing red eyes, Chaos armor, and an impressive number of sharp teeth and claws (including a nice pair of fangs). His face can mirror Khakkekk's, and he wields a fiery giant sword with immense skill. Its characteristics are the same as those of a standard Minor Demon.
*'''Lesser Daemon:''' Just as the Big Demon looks like an Orc, Orc, the Little Demon looks like some kind of Goblin. He too, from afar or in poor light, can easily be mistaken for a Goblin (albeit tall), with red eyes. His face and impressive array of dangerous teeth and talons (no fangs) are also reminiscent of Khakkekk. Its characteristics are similar to those of a Minor Demon.
*'''Daemonic Beast:''' These creatures, sociable in the manner of the Nurglings, appear as Brats (would be Snotlings in more modern editions, since Greenskins now reproduce by spores) with glowing red eyes (this is the common characteristic of the demons of Khakkekk, with sharp teeth and talons) and sport 1d4 Chaos mutations. Like other demons, each has a face that strangely recalls its master. The profile of a Demonic Creature is the same as a standard Servant Demon, or, alternatively, that of a Nurgling (if you have Realm of Chaos: the Lost and the Damned).
*'''Daemonic Steed:''' Khakkekk's Demonic Mount appears virtually identical, at least physically, to a Large Wolf, and it may actually be. Whether or not this is the case, it is virtually identical. You can therefore use the description of the Big Wolf from the bestiary of WFRP1 or that of present in this project.

====Kweethul====
Kweethul Gristlegut was a Skaven who managed to become an extremely minor Chaos God in the older Warhammer editions. He was later mentioned as being a HERETIC against the Horned Rat in a later Skaven army book. The Horned Rat will suffer no challenger to its dominion over Skaven-kind! Could create his own Daemons, too.

*'''The Six Eyed Slayer:''' Greater Daemon. He stands about 10ft in height with a pair of three eyed goats heads. It carries a Chaos Weapon with the power of mutation.
*'''Floating Horror:''' Lesser Daemon. Appearing much as a Harpy but with the clawed feet of a Bear.
*'''Fire Runner:''' Daemonic Steed. A partially feathered beast with burning clawed feet.
*'''The Thing:''' Daemonic Beast.

====Meneloth====
An androgynous god of pleasure among the Elves, may have been a sort of proto-Slaanesh before being absorbed into the greater whole of Slaanesh upon Slaanesh's birth, either that or a toned-down aspect of Slaanesh used to lure Elves into worship of Slaanesh, like a dealer giving a watered-down needle of heroin to a kid to get them addicted before giving them the hard stuff.

====Necoho====
[[File:Necoho_Revealed.png|500px|thumb|right|[[/tg/]] has recently deduced Necoho's true identity.]]
Necoho is the god of atheism and one of the other minor gods invented as a replacement for Malal. Stupid as it sounds, it actually works, as Chaos is a reflection of all human beliefs and emotions, including, paradoxically, disbelief. He generally works to make religious movements disappear and wears a permanent expression of comic amusement, as he fucking knows he's a walking, talking paradox.

Note that Necoho was introduced in an adventure for [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]] 1st Edition, so his current canonicity is doubtful, to say the least. That being said, he has been mentioned sporadically since then, such as the [[Gotrek & Felix]] novel ''Road of Skulls'', which is more than can be said for Zuvassin. Has been mentioned by name in the Age of Sigmar novel ''Auction of Blood'', along with a mention to his cult and an antitheist tract called "The Revelations of Necoho, or the Light of Doubt".

In the popular series [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device]], [[Magnus the Red]] made the point that the Emperor was, perhaps unknowingly, feeding a Chaos god of unbelief by promoting his Imperial Truth.

====Obscuras====
Brother of Alluminas, Chaos God of Law. Was originally one of the Gods of Law but got jealous of his brother and turned to Chaos proper.

Shadowphytes (also known as Shadow Daemons) are daemons of Obscuras, standing around the height of an average man. The most dedicated of Obscuras' cultists hope to join the ranks of the Shadowphytes upon their deaths. Shadowphytes appear as black shadowy humanoids whose features are only barely visible through the inner darkness they radiate. They cannot fly but possess the ability to melt into the shadows in one place and reappear in the shadows somewhere else within their line of sight. They fear the light and it is know to cause them actually damage when not standing in full or demi-darkness.

Shadowphytes can't cause physical wounding upon their victims, but cause damage through their touch, which robs the victim of his or her strength, and they are skilled users of the magical art of their master. It's said that anyone slain by a Shadowphyte is condemned to eternal torment in Obscuras' realm of shadow.

====Oubelgyr====
Oubelgyr is a Daemon-Prince who sits at the cusp of just-about-to-be-but-not-quite a Minor Chaos God, who is known to be a Peddler of Knowledge, like some sort of Daemonic Informant. Whereas Tzeentch is all about learning and then coveting secrets, Oubelgyr is always trying to find secret knowledge then sell it to the highest bidder, a trait useful for Chaos Sorcerers with sacrifices to spare who wish to skip the chanciness of Tzeentch's blessings. Was inprisoned at one point, but was able to scheme a way to unlock the door to his prison, only to then decide his prison was a nice lair and pretended to still be locked in. Rather than having daemons of his own, he has multiple Daemons and Mortal slaves who he has bound with contracts, who have to do as he says and guard him.

====Quorn====
[[File:QuornArtwork.jpg|200px|right]]

Not to be confused with Khorne, Quorn was the Minor Chaos God of carnivorous plants, whose schtick basically was "Radical Anti-Veganism" with carnivorous plant life devouring all flesh-creatures. His name was a double-pun, meant to sound like Khorne's and the same as a vegetable-based fake-meat substitute from before Impossible Meats were a thing. (Note: Pictured above is fan artwork produced by putting Quorn's name and description into Nightcafe, an Artificial Intelligence Art Program that makes art based on text description)

====Rhasneth====
The Chaos God of Insanity. Must be pretty batshit insane if his brand of nutters stands out amongst the general mental sickness of the rest of the Pantheon of Chaos.

The daemons of Rhasneth are to varied to make a single name for them, the most horrible nightmares of the most twisted madmen made real, pushing their way from the realm of nightmares into the world of the living to do their master's wish. The daemons of Rhasneth are special in that not all can see them, only those who have already lost their sanity can see them while all others fail to even notice them. The madman can scream in terror when his nightmares comes for him, not only to haunt him in his dreams but to feast upon his soul, while the rest of the world remains ignorant of the creature and tells him there is nothing there. Even as the daemon slowly approch, a mad twisted snarl upon its face...

====Screaming God-Child====
[[File:Screaming God-Child.png|200px|right|]]
Appearing only in the [[Malus Darkblade]] novel ''Lord of Ruin'', and more completely in the Malus chapters in Warhammer Monthly, the God-Child is the ruler of a little corner of the Realm of Chaos known as ''Alterity'', a massive chunk of rock on top of which lies walls in the shape of an eight-pointed star, guarded by ancient daemons who keep the locals and guests who enter from leaving Alterity. The God-Child himself takes the appearance of a young humanoid being with a near featureless face, only having a mouth, wearing robes and an amulet in the shape of the star of Chaos.

====Shagraunt====
A Minor Chaos God of whom even less is known of than Atagro, it was Shagraunt who ascended Atagro into the ranks of the Minor Chaos Gods.

====Stromfels/Mermedus====
Whilst often speculated to be [[Manann]]'s edgy dark half, Stromfels' mutant cults and rumored links to Khorne in earlier editions point towards his status as a minor Chaos god. Further proof of this is his patronage of sea mutant pirate Aranessa Saltspite, and his Chaos cult in the Gotrek and Felix story "Slayer of the Storm God", featuring his avatar, the "Harbinger of Stromfels".

Another variation of Manann but Chaos exists in the form of '''Mermedus''', the Norscan god of the sea, that's considered by some to be an even more edgy version of Stromfels. Notable that most Norscans don't even like him, because all who die at sea are claimed by him and denied entry to their patrons realm, except for the Skaelings who drown prisoners of war and animals for him after battles and raids. He's described as a ghoulish and bulbous figure that walks on the sea floor, covered in eyes and bloated like a drowned person. This is odd, as Stromfels' Avatar, Harbinger of Stromfels, looked like a Giant with a Tentacle where each of the Arms would be and the Head of a Shark.

In [[Total War: Warhammer II]], he is also [[Cylostra Direfin]]'s patron deity, having resurrected her as a vengeful ghost to wreak havoc against the High Elves and Bretonnians who rejected her singing.

In Age of Sigmar, he apparently is still worshipped by pirates in one area of Ghyran, and was worshipped by a tribe of Gargants in Azyr before Sigmar cleansed the realm of Chaos.

====Tristaris====
A Chaos Goddess of Misery, with a minor interest in knowledge. Represents the misery brought about by knowledge of Chaos' ultimate victory. Sounds like Tzeentch's perfect girl, a big tiddy goth nerd GF.

*'''Blissbane:''' (also known as ''Wailing Woman of Misery'',''Mistress of Destress'', or ''Gaunt Spirits of Lamentation'') This infernal creatures look like haggard, ghostly women with wild hair and gaunt, wrinkled bodies. They wear white shroud like clothes and are translucent to the eye. The Blissbanes emit occasional shrieks of pure misery as well as sudden bursts of maniacal laughter. They can pass through any obstacle as though they were ethereal, but are also incapable of manipulating any material objects. Often Blissbanes appear in groups of four, the number of Tristaris.
*'''Sloathe:''' (also known as ''Mounts of Misery'', ''Hunching Beasts of Suffering'', or ''Steeds of Tristaris'') The sloathes are bear sized creatures with four legs and short curved claws. The creatures have no heads and appear to be made almost entirely of layer upon layer of dark rags and shrouds. They make low grunting and grumbling sounds as they walk. The sloathes lash out with their claws in combat, and they have the ability to collapse into a pile of useless rags. The rags may be scattered by the wind or even burnt up; but unless every single one of them is destroyed the creature can return to its normal shape from any one of the pieces.
*'''Humanwood Tree:''' (also known as ''Oaks of Despair'', ''Petrified Eyes of Torment'', or ''Roots of Evil'') The humanwood trees are powerful demons that largely inhabit the groaning forests of misery in the pocket dimension that is Tristaris's realm in the chaos warp. The trees look like stubby, twisted oak trees with thick trunks and anguished human faces and bodies seemingly squirming about beneath their flexible bark. The trees speak a language that is their own and to hear it is to surely lose one's mind. All who hear the trees speaking will feel suffer from it as blood pours from their ears. The trees lash out with their branches and should the victom be caught the trees nine limbs will easily rip a held person to shreds. Strangly enough they are also immune to fire, somehting that would otherwise have been their main weakness.
*'''Sade:''' (also known as ''Screaming Devils of Sorrow'', ''Sobbing Lords of Tribulation'', or ''Jeering Lords of Languishing'') The Sades are Tristaris's greater demons. They look like gaunt red skinned men with long black beards, tiny horns from their foreheads and pointed chins. The Sades dress like nobles and their eyes are white and constantly streaming with bloody tears. Each of them carries a large, gleaming sickle. They also each carry a Lash of Lament and have long claws which they can use in close quarters. The Sades must consume twice their weight in living hearts each day that they exist in the material world if they are summoned.

====Urlfdaemonkin====
Urlf isn't a name. It's the last fucking death cry a guy makes when you gut him. That should tell you all you need to know. Anyway, this guy used to be a Norscan (like most of the daemon princes on this list) and was elevated to princehood by Khorne for exceptional badassery. Before his ascension, he was a massive, tall, bearded, Clint Eastwood-type Chaos Champion and was a chieftain of the Snaegr clan of Aeslingr. He's so fucking powerful that he was able to create his own lesser daemons and can bless warriors with the Mark and mutations of Khorne. Urlf has his own summoning days like most powerful daemon princes, and is usually worshiped as a lesser deity of Chaos by those who serve his master, Khorne. He has a short story in the 6th edition Chaos army book, where he muses on the fuck-you nature of time in the Warp and remarks on how the new Chieftain of the Snaegr resembles one of the sons he fathered in his mortal life. He also blesses the new chief with Khorne's mark and turns him into a monstrous cross [[Awesome|between a Bloodletter and a Chaos Champion]].

====Vymnn====
A Minor Chaos god who was only known as the master of the Daemon Prince Hakrii, who Atagro slayed (Hakrii, not Vymnn) in his quest for Daemon Princehood himself.

====Zhedun====
A Chaos God of gnawing, eternal hunger, who represents how Chaos would destroy itself if it ever won in the end, being dependent on sapient mortal thought for sustenance.

Daemons of Zhedun are known as Devouring Fiends (a.k.a. Mawed Ones, or Devourers) creatures ruled entirely by their own voracious appetite. They stands well over six feet tall, stooped, with atrophied arms but strong legs, and their heads are comprised mostly of a giant gaping jaw filled with massive teeth. Often they will stop at fallen foes, devouring their bodies in their Chaos-spawned hunger.

====Zuvassin====
Zuvassin is one of the two minor gods invented as a replacement for Malal. He just likes to see shit fall apart, specifically nonphysical stuff like schemes and lives - in other words, he's the god of [[not as planned]]. He's the guy who makes all the bad shit happen in infomercials. Generally, he makes sure that Murphy's Law is always enforced in the most spectacular possible ways. He doesn't have many worshippers, as he makes sure to fuck up whatever they're planning too.

Note that Zuvassin was only introduced in an adventure for [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]] 1st Edition, so his current canonicity is doubtful, to say the least.

Actually, he is still canon, at least in Warhammer Fantasy. The 2nd Edition "Tome of Salvation" lists both him and Necoho as Chaos Gods.

And the motherfucker is STILL canon in Age of Sigmar, where a short story features a Chaos Champion named "Zuvass". Hmm.. I wonder who he might be worshipping.

Makes an appearance in [[Total War: WARHAMMER|Total War: WARHAMMER III]], where [[God-Slayer|Daniel]] can get an event where you can communicate with him and get his blessing, as he considers you important in disrupting the balance of Chaos.

====Ziraad, Thain, Blazzach and Javate====
4 Minor Chaos Gods known among the people of Araby, mentioned in Atagro's backstory as the gods worshipped by 4/6 members of his BATTLE-HAREM, the last 2 being a one of Tzeentch and one of Slaanesh.

===Warhammer 40,000===
====Balphomael====
[[File:Balphomael.png|200px|right]]
A minor Chaos God skirting on the edge of independent Greater Daemon, ruler of the Daemon World of Woe. Has a Christian Devil, "Let's Make a Deal" sort of vibe about him, complete with looking like classical illustrations of Demons and his name being a portmanteau of Baal, Baphomet and Samael. The art above is from a Dark Heresy book.

====King in Rags and Tatters====
Quite possibly a Chaos God version of Hastur from the Cthulhu Mythos, may or may not be a guise of Tzeentch. Leader of the "Menagerie" a Chaos Cult that seeks to unravel reality itself. Has unique demonic minions in the form of Warp Spectres, roiling, constantly changing masses of hideous-energy-being Daemons (like a Chaos Spawn made of gas and energy instead of fluid flesh?).

====Lord of Misrule====
Another minor Chaos God skirting on the edge of being an independent Greater Daemon from Dark Heresy. Also seeks to undo the veil between reality and the Warp.

====Melkirth====
Mentioned in older background material for Warhammer 40,000. Melkirth was a minor chaos god described as "The god of evil, malice, and wanton cruelty and suffering." While Melkirth remains a minor god, it is said that the actions of the mortal races, particularly the Dark Eldar, are causing Melkirth to grow in power until he ultimately becomes the fifth major Chaos God. The daemons of Melkirth are described as being the colour of shadow and able to take on the appearance of any daemon, be it a daemon of Khorne, Nurgle, Slaanesh, or Tzeentch. These shadow daemons could be inspiration for the shadow daemons Morathi encounters in Ulgu in Age of Sigmar, as they are also having to do with Dark Aelfs.

====Mo'rcck, Phraz-Etar, and Ans'l====
Puns on the last names of sci-fi and fantasy author Michael Moorcock (from whom the idea of [[Chaos]] as a fundamental force in the world was blatantly stolen/took inspiration from, and don't anyone ever say "borrow for a while" since even the author and Games Workshop have admitted it), artist Frank Frazetta (who drew a lot of movie and comic book posters, especially in sci-fi and fantasy), and Citadel Miniatures founder Bryan Ansell (who wrote several of the [[Rogue Trader (Sourcebook)|First Edition]] rulebooks). These guys helped set the tone of the early [[Warhammer 40,000]] universe (purposefully or not), including the propensity of putting spikes on [[Chaos]] things. Games Workshop decided to pay homage in the (initial) Third Edition [[Codex]]: [[Chaos Space Marines]], which mentioned that Chaos Space Marines often put "spiky bits" on their armour in praise of these three gods. They were never mentioned anywhere else, and probably shouldn't be considered "canonical"... not that canonicity counts for much in 40k anyway.

====Raptor God====
The minor god worshipped by the [[Chaos Raptor]]s, responsible for turning them from standard [[Assault Squad|Assault Marines]] to the mercenaries they currently are, and maybe also the one that turns them into [[Warp Talons]].

===Age of Sigmar===
====Archaon====
{{main|Archaon}}
Upon completing a new set of challenges by the Chaos Gods in AoS, he was empowered to demigod level and given free reign to do whatever he desired.

====Devourer of Existence====
A primitive aspect of Chaos as an apex predator, that wishes to devour all else and despises any sign of civilization, worshipped by the Untamed Beasts. Maybe a modern take on Zhedun?

====Eightfold Watcher====
Some sort of Chaos-Spider-Godbeast worshipped by the Tarantulos Brood. From Warcry Red Harvest.

====Ever-Raging Flame====
A massive fire of Chaos, said to be the Chaos personification of Aqshy itself, worshipped by the Scions of the Flame in the Realm of Fire.

====The Great Gatherer====
A (presumably) giant crow worshipped by tribesmen from Ulgu in the [[Age of Sigmar]]. Not much is known about him, since [[Warcry|the only game his followers appear in]] isn't out yet, but we do know that the [[Corvus Corax|Corvus]] Cabal (the aforementioned tribesmen) consider [[Archaon]] to be his avatar in the Mortal Realms. Theories range from it being an aspect of [[Tzeentch]] (notable avian features, Tzeentch is known to be interested in the Realm of Shadow, maybe gathering secrets?) or [[Nurgle]] (the Crow was Nurgle's totem animal among the Norscans, maybe gathering bodies?) to being a minor, but ascending, Chaos God not so far removed from the Great Horned Rat's path to the pantheon. He even has the weird connection to both Nurgle and Tzeentch the GHR does. It has been confirmed that the Warbands from Warcry will be usable in the main game, possibly as normal units, and will have the keyword SLAVES TO DARKNESS, which means he'll have some representation in a mainline game. Not too bad for the newest kid on the block.

====Morghur====
{{main|Morghur The Shadowgave}}
Originally one of the most notable Beastmen, he's worshipped as a minor Chaos God of mutation and devolution in Age of Sigmar. Wait what the fuck is this??

====Nagendra====
Originally a Godbeast, was splintered and the remains corrupted into Daemons called Coiling Ones, worshipped by the Splintered Fang.

===Blood Bowl===
====Nuffle====
{{Main|Nuffle}}
A joke Chaos God for [[Bloodbowl]], Nuffle is a mispronunciation of NFL (as in "National Football League", the American gridiron football pro league in real life), which would be pronounced "Noofle" as in "book" if you tried pronouncing it. Nuffle explains why the Blood Bowl universe is so wacky and gridiron football obsessed. Technically the superior to the rest of Chaos, although apparently only in the Blood Bowl universe.

===When Tzeentch was the best===
According to recent Tzeentch Codex/Battletome Tzeentch was at one point the sole major chaos god. A rebellion against him fractured him into many pieces, which because of warp time fuckery, technically counts as a different god. When chaos was first forming (just after War in Heaven for 40k) there were many chaos gods and entities competing (rather than the total domination that exists now). Tzeentch somehow became number one, and was a super god of sorts, although he was possibly less powerful than the current Tzeentch due to the lesser size and influence of chaos. A rebellion by all the other chaos gods fractured him, creating the Tzeentch we know today. In the same way that Slaanesh has always existed in 40k, the new Tzeentch has always existed the way he is. While the old Tzeentch is permanently destroyed (across all time), while still doing the things he did, what really matters is the influence in the material realm: Tzeentch's new self and Slaanesh started doing that when they were created relative to the materium, while the Warp is such a mess that a contradiction like old Tzeentch being completely destroyed while still having done the things he did is basically nothing. They are implied to be two seperate entites.

This is a variant of the backstory of The Blue Scribes.

{{ChaosGods}}

[[Category:Heresy]]
[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]]

Chaos Gods

2022-08-03T02:18:26Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Be'lakor */

{{heresy}}
{{Topquote|The creatures of the Warp are just "aliens" too, but they are not life forms as we understand the term. They are not organic. They are extra-dimensional, and they influence our reality in ways that seem sorcerous to us. Supernatural, if you will. So let's use all those lost words for them... daemons, spirits, possessors, changelings. All we need to remember is that there are no gods out there, in the darkness, no great daemons and ministers of evil. There is no fundamental, immutable evil in the cosmos. It is too large and sterile for such melodrama. There are simply inhuman things that oppose us, things we were created to battle and destroy.
|Horus Lupercal}}

The '''Chaos Gods''' are the gods which rule over the Realm of [[Chaos]] in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battles]] and the [[Warp]] in [[Warhammer 40,000]]. They love nothing so much as dicking with each other, except perhaps with their mortal followers, and literally each other (especially Slaanesh). Before they were gods, they were generally benevolent beings, when the Warp was a calm sea. Each one is formed by the emotions of living souls clumped together in the Warp/Realm of Chaos. Contrary to standard thought, they personify good attributes as well, and are powered as much by good as by bad. Even if said god started out entirely bad, in their eventual evolution as part of their natures, they will kill gods who represented entirely good things, and will gain not only their values, but their power by said value.

Be aware many of the gods' values will and do intersect. This is as much due to the chaotic nature of the gods as it is to the multitude of emotions that make up the living. For example: let's say you're literally obsessed with brutally murdering people and you get a real nice kick out of it. The act of spilling blood is gonna feed [[Khorne]], while the ecstasy and obsessive sensation you get out of it will feed [[Slaanesh]]. So yeah, there's some overlap, in that an individual doing a certain thing, under specific circumstances, can simultaneously feed multiple Chaos Gods, but the God who was invoked (whether intentionally or no) upon when commuting the action will get the most power out of it (I.E: You killed someone for Khorne. While your ecstasy from the murder will feed Slaanesh a bit, your simple act of ending a life will feed Nurgle, your continued ambition to please the Blood God to earn his favor will also feed Tzeentch a bit, but Khorne gets the most since you offered that kill to him foremost).

==Overview==
According to the wikifans over at the Official Warhammer 40k Wiki, the Chaos gods were created and are sustained by the collective emotions of 'every sentient being of the material universe'; so not just the Milky Way, but every alien, both heretical and loyal, in the whole universe. This however probably isn't true, or rather it's just very bad wording, because if the Milky Way alone has all of these sentient races in it, then there's a safe bet that most other galaxies in the rest of the universe also have a multitude of sentient races too. And there are like, at least billions upon billions of galaxies in the observable universe, let alone the true universe which is likely many magnitudes larger. Based on what we've seen in the fluff, ''That'' many galaxies, filled with ''that'' many sentient lifeforms, ''all'' feeding only ''four'' Chaos Gods, would give said Chaos Gods so much power that they would probably have the capability to turn the entire galaxy (and many others) into massive Eyes of Terror at a simple scheming click of their heretical fingers. But of course, that hasn't happened (thank the fucking Emperor). Which probably means those wikijerks are talking complete [[Bullshit|unadulterated bullshit]] (or are making the common and infuriating mistake of conflating "universe" with "galaxy"). In actuality, the full range of influence the Ruinous Powers have only extends to the area of the Milky Way and not much further. After all, a specific location in the Warp corresponds with a specific location in the Materium; your thoughts and emotions will have an effect (albeit very minor) on the Warp in your specific corresponding location, and the collective thoughts and emotions of a galaxy's population will only have an effect on that specific galactic area of the overall Warp. This essentially means the four Chaos Gods are completely confined to the Milky Way galaxy, because that's where the emotions that created and feed them are currently being felt.

So what does that really mean? Well, it means the Warp in the vast, cold, empty space between galaxies is calm as fuck, absolutely nothing like the infested shitty plughole it is right now in our home galaxy, because there's no sentient life and hence no chaotic emotions there to stir it up. However, this also means that if other galaxies out there have their own interstellar sentient species with a presence in the Warp, then those galaxies will have their own Chaos Gods [likely just analogous versions of the four ([[Malal|point five]]) we have, although it's also possible that the different emotions might be allocated differently for each galactic pantheon; Andromeda might have gods based on the seven deadly sins, for example] that reside there and are also confined to the area of their own galaxy. But who knows? Maybe each warp god is a reflection of the galaxy that birthed it, and the aliens that live in other galaxies there have actually got their shit together and all get along like best buddies in a setting that just oozes [[Noblebright|noblebright]] from every pore, and the Chaos Gods there aren't even called that because they're all so friendly and cushy to everyone and like to play vidyagames with each other and cracking open cold ones on a warm Friday night while watching The Batchelor. Maybe the Warp gods in most galaxies actually maintain contact with those in neighbouring ones, and everyone just stays the fuck out of the Milky Way for the same reason most 21st century tourists stay out of Somalia. How sweet... I wonder what would happen if two galaxies, both with their own analogous Chaos Gods, collided. Would they just absorb each other into a new pantheon of four even-more-powerful Gods? Would they fight each other until one reigned supreme? Or would they get along like good ol' chums since they understand each other perfectly? Anyway, tangents. This fallacy is explained further in detail just right below.

Now that I say all of this, why the actual '''FUCK''' has no one decided to just up and leave the galaxy already?! It's a complete shithole! It's filled to the absolute brim with nothing but copious amounts of [[Grimdark]] and a whole host of things that want to murder, rape and eat you, not necessarily in that order. And it's ''still'' being filled up with that shit, both [[Necron|crawling out from under the ground]] and [[Tyranid|flying in from outer space to OMNOMNOMNOM the faces of everyone you both despise and adore]]. Even if you're lucky enough to escape the immediate crossfire, you're still likely to be part of [[Imperium|a civilisation that completely smashes any feeling of worth or individuality out of you and treats you like just another cog in the machine of trillions of cogs]]. Just leave already, god dammit. What about Andromeda? I hear it's rather pleasant this time of year. At least compared to this literal hellhole. But it's probably not possible for the same reason why [[Roboute Guilliman|Big Bobby G]] and [[Lion El'Johnson|Lion-O]] couldn't simply fly over the Ruinstorm to get to Terra; if the space between galaxies is calm because there are no souls, that probably means there's no warp either, making intergalactic travel impossible. But this is just baseless speculation that contradicts the nature of the Warp's existence, specifically that the Warp is influenced by life, not created by life, and existed before even the first lifeforms did. Plus, you need to be Necron-tier to get pass the nids off galaxy. Or it could be things like the Void Dragon possibly eating a million galaxies before returning to ours where he then met the Emperor, the Tyranids consuming a thousand galaxies, and generally such things indiciate that outside of the Milky Way is worse than in the Milky Way.

But then again, It is officially stated that Warhammer 40k and Warhammer Fantasy are completely different franchises which just so happen to have the same Warp with the same Chaos Gods.

Now, where were we? Oh yes, Chaos Gods. Ahem.

===On the Question of Omnipotence===

One of the most [[Skub|talked about and hotly debated topics]], especially amongst Chaos players is the question of Omnipotence. [[Matt Ward|Other than massive fanwanking and colossal jerk-offs,]] it must be stated and stressed that the Chaos Gods for all their strength are not omnipotent, for to be omnipotent means to be all-powerful and the idea of the Great Game greatly debunks this claim. Part of the problem may lie in the fact that folks like to give examples of the power of the Chaos Gods from codexes from the Rogue Trader era and Second Edition, eras which are of ''dubious'' canonicity. You see, what they don't seem to understand is that GW, especially ''early'' GW, had a habit of making use of flowery language and hyperbole to exaggerate the grandeur of something or someone. This by itself is not a problem, as 40k runs on exaggeration. The problem is that [[Powergamer|''some folks'']] seems to lack any ability to discern nuances or critical thinking skills and proceed to extrapolate these hyperboles as true, completely ignoring the fact that the majority of these flowery examples came from either a) the viewpoint of a Chaos Cultist b) in-universe propaganda and/or c) extremely old sources where [[Ian Watson|all sorts of wacky hijinks were birthed.]] As such, the credibility is highly suspect and should be taken with a mountain of salt.

So when sources 'claim' that the Chaos Gods could destroy 'universes' or Greater Daemons were [[Exterminatus|destroying entire planets wholesale]] within the [[Warp]], the validity should be scrutinized in the same way fa/tg/uys scrutinize [[Furries]]. What the Chaos Gods or their followers claim to be true (remember that they are notorious [[Bullshit|liars]]) does not match up with their actual abilities both in Warpspace and in Realspace. If they were truly multiversal as they claim, then, first of all, the [[Hive Mind|Shadow of the Warp]] should not be an existential threat to them. After all, a true universal - let alone multiversal - entity should not even notice a few intergalactic bugs on the windshield. Moreover, the Necron Pylons should also not be considered a threat to the big four, for if they possess such levels of reality-warping power, they should not be dependent in letting their [[Failbaddon|errand boy]] do all their dirty work for them in realspace. Even in the Warp, their so-called 'omnipotence' did not stop a certain [[Kaldor Draigo|Mary Sue]] from trashing their backyard from time to time.

The reality is the Chaos Gods, as far as deities go in Science Fiction, are pretty weak sauce. For example:
*They are utterly dependent on the emotions of a single galaxy (if they really did not care about emotions as some may claim, then they shouldn't be ''that'' invested in the Imperium now would they?).
*Certain [[Tyranids|critters with enough mindless psychic connections can close entire Warp-rifts and there is nothing the Chaos Gods can do about it;.]]
*Tzeentch's self-proclaimed omniscience is put into doubt seeing as how he and his [[Kairos Fateweaver|underlings]] failed to predict the rise of [[Roboute Guilliman|Robo Guillitan]] [[Gathering Storm|and the following]] [[Indomitus Crusade|mechinations of it]].
*Their self-proclaimed reality-warping powers are self-contained in the Warp, and even then it is restricted to their own realms. Much like how a child could create and manipulate anything in a sandpit does not automatically equate to the child turning sand into gold, the same analogy applies here - seriously it is telling that the Gods of Chaos couldn't do jackshit about the Necron Pylons for ''60 million years'' since the War in Heaven.
*Their dreaded Chaos corruption such as Scrapcode could literally be stopped by an AdMech Priest cutting off the connections fast enough during the Fall of Mars, knowing how abysmal 40k's A.I. are, that shit ain't touching the likes of a [[The Culture|Culture Mind,]] [[Halo|a Contendor-class A.I.,]] and the [[Xeelee Sequence|Anti-Xeelee]]. To state otherwise would be a No Limit Fallacy and a False Equivalency since the idea of scrapcode would be overpowered against the likes of the Necrons, Tau and the AdMech, yet this shit has seldomly been used which suggests limitations on the behalf of Chaos.

In retrospect, the contradictions of what the Chaos Gods/followers ''claim'' and what they are actually shown to do is no different than the problems the [[Hive Mind]] has found itself in as [[Tyranid#'Masters of Evolution'?|can be read here.]] They are all bound by GeeDubs' status quo and the balance of power, as such their powers are restricted insofar in one galaxy to preserve the status quo. With the bombshell of '''Godblight''', the argument of omnipotence has finally been shot down after Chaos got hit with a ''massive'' [[nerf]] bat. From the [[Emprah]] suggesting that the Daemon Primarchs can be redeemed, thereby making the threat of Chaos corruption impotent to Big-E literally shoving his Power Sword up [[Nurgle|Nurgle's]] ass and his garden, '''''permanently''''' wounding him grievously, to the outright confirmation that a Chaos God without sufficient faith would degenerate into Warp-soup and become perma-K.O. as faith is what gives Warp entities sentience. Godblight has single-handily trashed any presumption of Chaos omnipotence in but a few chapters, and let's not even get into a single [[Primaris Lieutenant]] kicking one of the strongest Nurglite Greater Daemons in the ass...[[Bullshit|''somehow'']].

So are the Chaos Gods powerful? In the universe of [[Star Wars]], [[Star Trek]] and [[Bioware|Mass Effect]], sure, of course they are. Are they omnipotent multiversal destroyers? Hell the fuck no. If you're honestly thinking that these ''guys'' are in the same ballpark as [[/co/|the Abstract Entities of Marvel and DC]], [[Doctor Who|the Time Lords]] or the motherfucking Downstreamers, then you should probably go see a doctor for a prostate exam; constant wanking is bad for ya health you know.

[[Tl;dr]], 40k is prone to not applying the concept of '''Show Don't Tell''', which is ironic given the reputation of 40k in general, but it happens again and again and again. A good narrative showcases its targets' capabilities and feats, a bad narrative just tells them to the viewers. If the Chaos Gods can actually pop universes like grapes, ''then we better fucking see them popping an actual universe''. No wishy-washy flowery language, no offhand statements in the codex, no shenanigans inside the Warp which is unreliable ''at best''. '''Show Don't Tell'''. It isn't just the Chaos Gods that are guilty of this mind you, the [[Men of Iron]] and even the [[War in Heaven]] [[Necron]]s are guilty of this as well. Sun-snuffing machines the size of Saturn's rings and Breath of the Gods asshattery means jack shit if we don't actually see them in action. '''Show Don't Tell'''.

==Khorne==
{{Main|Khorne}}
[[File:Khorne First.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Lord of RAEG, War, Butthurt, Steroids and Testosterone. Really just a grouchy puppy.]]

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES! BUTTER FOR THE POP KHORNE! Oh, sorry. In case it wasn't obvious, Khorne is the god of battle, martial honor, and oh yeah, BLOOD! Although primarily formed from hate and rage, bravery and honor are also thrown in the mix. Also in the mix are mercy (in particular, mercy for those too weak to put up a fight and be a challenge to kill. This is almost never shown in the fluff though, annoyingly), courage, regret, fear, athleticism, determination, daring, impulsiveness, and struggling onward in the face of any odds.
* Gender - DEFINITELY A MAN, AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!! <strike> I thought he was female? </strike> {{BLAM|'''*BLAM!* *BLAM!* THAT'S DOUBLE HERESY!!'''}}
* Main Enemy - Slaanesh, as he considers him/her/them to be too frilly and really doesn't care about sensations, especially when they prolong the spilling of blood, to the point fluff wise it is distinctly pointed out he hates the priss even more than tzeench, going so far as to have slaaneshi and khornates have the hatred special rule against eachother.
* Bro god - Nurgle, although he doesn't seem to mind Khaela Mensha Khaine (they're probably the same thing, though), and he is rumored to be in a polyamorous relationship with Mork and Gork.
* Love Interest - Gork and Mork (see above). [[Valkia the Bloody]] (Canonically - yes, your brain is now broken).
* Dedicated [[Chaos Space Marine]] Legion - The [[World Eaters]], other various chapters and bands of warriors dedicated themselves to him since. Also has IG-equivalent armies like the [[Blood Pact]].
*[[Warriors of Chaos]] "Hero"/Chaos Tribe: Arbaal the Undefeated (ANGRY VIKINGS!! FUCK YEAH!!), Valkia the Bloody, Scylla Afingrimm (former warlord turned [[Chaos Spawn]] and still kicks ass), Hrafn Untam, Haargroth the Blooded, Skarr Bloodwrath. Khorne also has an entire Norse confederation especially devoted to him known as the Aeslingr.
* Sacred Number - 8 ("The eightfold path")
* Adjective - Khornate

<center><gallery>
File:WE Heretic Astartes 2.png|A Khornate Berzerker Heretic Astartes of the [[World Eaters]] Traitor Legion.
</gallery></center>

==Nurgle==
{{Main|Nurgle}}
[[File:Nurgle Old.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Despite his and his minion's appearances, they're actually pretty nice (for debatably self-aware boogers).]]

Nurgle is the god of filth, pestilence, decay, and generally being a cool dude (which are [[Neckbeard|obviously related]]). Formed from despair and fear of death, his portfolio also includes acceptance and stoicism. Other values include inevitability, empathy, kinship, struggle, (familial) love, tradition, mercy, and memory. Nurgle is also notable for being the only Chaos god that cares for his followers whatsoever, bordering on love (in fact in 40k, he loves the [[Eldar]] goddess [[Isha]] so much that he [[grimdark|chained her up and force feeds her his new diseases]], because that's the only way he knows how to express love... yeah, love sucks <s>sometimes</s> <s>all the time</S> most of the time). Also note that one aspect of him that is played up in the End Times is that he is in fact the god of life, only for him it means unrestrained, infinite life such as with pathogens and tumors.
* Gender - A (slob of a) man. A VERY fat, old one.
* Main Enemy - Tzeentch, the paragon of hope and change, in opposition to Nurgle's representation of decay and inevitability.
* Bro god - Khorne, mostly because Nurgle is the only Chaos god Khorne doesn't entirely hate.
* Love Interest - His joy and wife, [[Isha]]. Now pins for Alarielle, since he [[Everqueen#Isha.2FAriel_Alarielle_Fusion_Dance.21|lost Isha to her]].
* Dedicated [[Chaos Space Marine]] Legion - The [[Death Guard]]. Has tons of other followers like the [[The Purge]] (omnicidal wackos who have no problem using chemical and virus weapons on helpless populations), [[Apostles of Contagion]] ([[Zombie Plague]] aficionados), the [[Lords of Decay]] (utterly loyal Marines sent to die in the Eye, holy fuck these guys made a direct assault on the Solar System and won Pluto), and human IG armies like the rebellion on [[Vraks]].
* [[Warriors of Chaos]] "Hero"/Chaos Tribe: [[Valnir|Valnir the Reaper]], old school champion of Nurgle; [[Festus the Leechlord]] (this guy used to be a doctor in the Empire; he's not even a Northman). The Crow Brothers of the Björnlings are especially devoted to him also (Festus leads these guys), the [[Glottkin]], [[Gutrot Spume]] (a Nurglite pirate barbarian), the [[Maggoth Lords]] of Icehorn Peak. It could also be possibly argued (especially considering [[Age of Sigmar|Age of Skubmar]]) that the Skaven Clan Pestilens is some sort of splinter cult built on worshipping Nurgle while thinking that they're worshiping an aspect of the Horned Rat.
* Sacred Number - 7 (though 3 is also a popular number)
* Adjective - Nurglite
* Please note that the above lore mixes both Warhammer fantasy lore and Warhammer 40k lore which, although the character is virtually indistinguishable, are not the same thing. [[Skub|Maybe]].

<center><gallery>
File:Plague Marine 8th Ed.png|A [[Plague Marine]] of the [[Death Guard]] Traitor Legion.
</gallery></center>

==Slaanesh==
{{Main|Slaanesh}}
[[File:Slaanesh Old.jpg|thumb|right|200px|The embodiment of all things PR0N.]]

Slaanesh is the god/dess of pain, pleasure, and perfection... or, in other words, a god of [[1d4chan|emotions formed from emotions]], not all of which are bad. In 40k (WHFB didn't elaborate how Slaanesh was born, so we can only assume he/she/they manifested normally like the other Gods), the an inherently psychic race called the [[Eldar]] created him/her/them by having so many damn orgies they tore space-time a new asshole (The Eye of Terror). Formed mainly from hedonism and excess, love and creativity are also attributes of Slaanesh. Other facets include perfectionism, obsessiveness, attention-whoring, jealousy, sensuality, [[Doomrider|DRUGS]], empathy, self-expression, individuality, art, music, joy, and admiration (so quite literally the god of sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll!).
* Gender - Whatever you want it to be, sugar! In WH Fantasy you'll see illustrations of a lecherous old hag / old man / old bits-of-both; in WH40k depictions are of a young flamboyant hermaphrodite.
* Main enemy - The brutish Khorne, obviously. H-he never calls...
* Bro god - Tzeentch, although that's mostly because he's the least icky of the Chaos gods. His/her/their friendship with Nurgle is a bit questionable since he stole [[Isha]] during Slaanesh's proverbial and... literal raping of the former Eldar Empire, though it isn't shown anywhere that Slaanesh still openly detests Nurgle for that (Hell, their daemons temporarily joined forces once or twice). Generally the most open to working with the others.
* Love Interest - All of them. Still pines for Isha, and is depressed no one ever seems to love him/her/them back. Tries to tempt Khorne into raping him/her/them. Gave up on Nurgle after he got married. For a long time has been pining for Tzeentch of all people, but she can never seem to make him think she likes him as more than just a friend. Basically, she's the hot chick who got friendzoned by the nerd. But he/she/they won't give up!
* Dedicated [[Chaos Space Marine]] Legion - [[Emperor's Children]]. Also has others to call on like The [[Flawless Host]] (their drugs make Emperor's Children's look like baking powder), [[Violators]] (these guys body sculpt themselves enough to make a [[VtM|Tzimisce]] well up with pride), as well as, again, various IG-equivalent armies.
* [[Warriors of Chaos]] "Hero"/Chaos Tribe: Sigvald the Magnificent (he really is quite magnificent...), [[Dechala|Dechala the Denied one]], former high elf maiden turned into near greater daemon level, Azazel, former bro of [[Sigmar]], Styrkaar of Sortsvinear. <s>The Varg tribes serve him.</s> NO WE DON'T. Likely that the Hung worship him/her/them, purely judging from their nomenclature. Also, [[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Dark Elves]], pre-retcon.
*Sacred Number - <s>sex</s> 6. Probably 69 and 420 as well, due to what they’re associated with.
* Adjective - Slaaneshi

<center><gallery>
File:Mandraykh Blyss EC.png|A Slaaneshi-Heretic Astartes of the [[Emperor's Children]] Traitor Legion.
</gallery></center>

==Tzeentch==
{{Main|Tzeentch}}
[[File:Tzeentch Old.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Change we can all believe in...]]

Tzeentch is the god of [[Just as planned]], being a wishy washy nerd, and magic, arguably the coolest and most potentially powerful of the four due to being nerfed from his actual true power in the height of his age of coming from both respective canons of Warhammer and generally being the most victorious when fighting against humanity and other races as a scheming jerkass. Tzeentch is formed from paranoia and plotting, but also, amazingly enough, hope and ambition. Other values include trust, curiosity, dissatisfaction, aspiration, progress, knowledge, learning, protection, will, anarchy, and change.
* Gender - Always changing, but usually male or genderless.
* Main Enemy - Nurgle, because he symbolizes stagnation, a.k.a. refusal towards change. Khorne as well, as the jock bullies him for his nerdiness, which is what Tzeentch wants you to believe, in truth he bullies and torments Khorne.
* Bro god(dess) - Slaanesh, who isn't as brutal/dumb as Khorne and not as much of a lazy bastard as Nurgle. Plus, he/she/they're nice to little Tzeentch! [[Cegorach]] might have a Shonen Rival Bro Bond with him when they dont fight on different teams.
* Love Interest - Kind of wishes that the Deceiver, Cegorach, and the Emperor were chicks. For female gods hes got an Eye for [[Arianka]] since she's a rival to his whole all play to her all work dynamic and wants her to be the [[Isha]] to his Nurgle.
* Dedicated [[Chaos Space Marine]] Legion - [[Thousand Sons]], and basically no other Space Marine groups; only [[The Scourged]] are canonical non-TS-descendants who are dedicated to Tzeentch. Tzeentch also apparently doesn't have any IG-equivalent armies dedicated to him in particular (besides the [[Prospero Spireguard]] who are more like the Thousand Sons auxilia than anything else). In-universe this is most likely because if a Guardsman is going to turn to a specific Chaos god, the prospect of [[Khorne|power and unending glorious conquest]], [[Nurgle|freedom from all pain and suffering]], or [[Slaanesh|all the booze, drugs and whores you can handle and then some]] are more attractive options than being a scheming nerd. Or else Tzeentch's non-marine cultists are rarely warriors or soldiers, more often power-hungry bureaucrats, nobles, Imperial Governors, and even Inquisitors. Out of universe it's hard to make Tzeentch-focused units other than TS when their signature units are sorcerers, who only come in small quantities on the tabletop, and the Sons-specific Rubric Marines. He also offers limited knowledge of the future, represented in game with a boosted Ward save from the Mark of Tzeentch.
* [[Warriors of Chaos]] "Hero": <s>Vilitch the Curseling</s> [[Egrimm van Horstmann|Egrimm van Horstmann]]. No Chaos Tribe seems to revere him to any exceptional extent (well there was this Sarl tribe and it was ruled by a Tzeentch chieftian, but [[Wulfrik the Wanderer|Wulfrik]] killed him as well as his son) but he pulled out some nasty tricks such as becoming the grand magister of the Order of Light and fucking said order up before flying away on top of a dragon. Also, got [[Cathay]] in a bag.
* Sacred Number - 9
* Adjective - Tzeentchian

<center><gallery>
File:TS Sorc Divination.png|A Tzeentchian Chaos Sorcerer of the [[Thousand Sons]] Traitor Legion.
</gallery></center>

==Malal==
{{Main|Malal}}
[[File:Malal.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Then we have this motherfucking out of place/odd one out weirdo here....]]

Though not as relevant as the other big four, Malal is still more notable than the other minor Gods mentioned below. He's sort of the borderline between major and minor chaos gods.

Malal is a renegade Chaos god that only appeared in one comic for Fantasy before his creators divorced and took their character with them, resulting in GW shitcanning most of the original sculptors and artists. Then he was replaced with two entirely different characters with the same basic domain before being quietly swept under the rug and forgotten, barring the odd reference that slips out here and there. He is fittingly the god of fractiousness and dissent, which means his power is parasitic: any time the four other major Milky Way Warp gods do their thing, which is to say strive to gain power at the expense of the materium and eachother, Malal grows in power as well. Because of his nature as a common enemy to the big four and thus a Warp Entity that fights the Warp, he is also sometimes a god of atheism, contradictions, and paradoxes, when he exists at all. That being said, he did have awesome champions who lived solely to hunt down the greatest champions of the other gods, which is pretty [[Awesome]]. Sadly (or not, depending on your opinion), [[Games Workshop]] idiotically lost the rights to his name, so he's been more or less retconned. Except now he might be back in 40k, with a [[Chaos Space Marine]] warband called the [[Sons of Malice]] who worship a god called Malice...who just happen to wear a color scheme of black and white, and just happen to have a symbol of a bisected skull, and whose premier Chaos weapon specializes in killing Daemons. There's also [[Beastmen]] of Malal in one of the card games. But nope, don't you dare say they worship Malal. Like Khorne, Malal has an aspect of hate, however it's more along the lines of loathing (including towards self), [[derp|malice]] and cold contempt compared to Khorne's ragey hot-blooded variety. While a worshipper of either might shoot up a school, a malal worshipper would probably think of it like exterminating pests rather than a pleasant rampage. Beyond all that, his portfolio includes paradoxes, justice, revenge, nihilism, and the inevitability of Chaos turning upon itself. Every time the others fight or power shifts between them, he grows stronger. Just like Chaos will eventually win and consume all worlds, Malal will eventually win and consume all Chaos resulting in oblivion for all things...then if GW took the full bite off Moorcock's work and not just the parts they wanted, the whole thing starts all over again from the beginning.
* Gender - Maleal
* Main Enemy - EVERYONE. Because Malal's an edgy loner who doesn't play by the rules (also because he represents one of the few things GW didn't steal from [[Moorcock]], that Chaos eventually destroys itself), although the forces of [[Chaos Undivided]] might logically be prioritized over other folk.
* Bro God(ess) - Probably any character that has been retconned away, that [[Squats|is angry about not being a part of the canon anymore]]. A story where he temporarily joins forces with someone like Emps or the [[C'tan]] might also work.
* Love Interest(s) - As per his nature as an edgelord, he has a tsundere love-hate relationship with chaos itself.
* Dedicated [[Chaos Space Marine]] Chapters - [[Sons of Malice]]. And that just about sums it up. No Imperial Guard equivalent, no daemon spawn, nothing (that we know of). So yeah, that pretty much makes him a god of hipsters too. /tg/ has made a fan-codex for [[Malal Daemonkin]], though, so go help yourself :)
* [[Warriors of Chaos]] "Hero"/Chaos Tribe: A fellow named Kaleb Daark was Malal's first revealed servant, who swung around a pterodactyl head on a stick. The Ogre Skrag the Slaughterer fucked up dwarves in his name before pussying out to follow some shitty Ogre god thanks to retcons. There's a small tribe of Beastmen named the Claws of Malal as well.
* Sacred Number - 11
* Adjective - Malalic

<center><gallery>
Image:Maxresdefault.jpg|220px|A Malalic Space Marine
</gallery></center>

==Great Horned Rat==
{{Main|Horned Rat}}
[[File:Betterskaven.jpg|220px|right|thumb|Thinks he's better than sliced Jesus.]]

This otherwise-unnamed deity is patron of the [[Skaven]], and god of... well, rats. He also infringes copyright on both Nurgle's and Tzeentch's portfolios, but it's mostly rats. The Horned Rat once appeared in material form; he's the only Chaos god to do so. Of course, in Skaven fashion, he just ate a ton of the Skaven present, gave some orders and left; the Skaven only serve him out of fear, even though their belief in him only makes him stronger. He left them with a warpstone monolith containing the Skaven equivalent of the Ten Commandments.

In Age of Sigmar he was promoted to Chaos God following the demotion of Slaanesh out of the Great Game.
* Gender - Referred to as male.
* Main Enemy - Everyone, backstabbing is his primary creed and portfolio. Being cowardly, he will also work with any Chaos God, mostly Nurgle. Archaon shows him the least respect, however.
* Bro God(ess) - Nurgle, as far as his followers are concerned. They have very similar hobbies.
* Love Interest(s) - As Skaven themselves are incapable of feeling love, it is unlikely GHR can either.
* Dedicated [[Chaos Space Marine]] Chapters - None. Great Horned Rat does not exist in 40k. Although there are [[Death Guard]] miniatures with [[Skaven]] heads.
* [[Warriors of Chaos]] "Hero" - [[Clanrats]]. All of them. ALL OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also apparently [[Thanquol]], because the Great Horned Rat thinks his fuckups are hilarious.
* Sacred Number - 13

==The Other Ones==
Older editions of Warhammer Fantasy and 40k mention several lesser Chaos gods. Nowadays, they only appear(ed) in WFB (and even then, only sparingly), with some (the Horned Rat and Hashut in particular) generally considered to be separate from the "main" Chaos pantheon.

Until the Horned Rat replaced Slaanesh as the Fourth Chaos god in End Times. This change did not affect 40k.

===Warhammer Fantasy===
====Ashedte'gash====
A Minor Chaos God who was once an orphan on the streets of the Empire, who grew up learning that strength and cleverness are what allows one to survive, and that those who are weaker and stupider should be climbed over and killed to serve their betters. As such, he is served by only a few Greater Daemons, as the Lesser Daemons that followed him were all killed off for realsies in the Warp by their betters in an Ayn Randian survival-of-the-fittest natural selection murderfest.

Ash has only a handful of Greater Daemons serving him. All of the lesser daemons were destroyed in the ever present struggles to prove oneself to Ash. The remaining daemonic servants of Ashedte'gash are heavily armored Greater Daemons, wearing plate armor, carrying giant two handed swords. Little is known of these foul servants of Ashedte'gash. They lack wings to fly, but except from this nothing is known, but of their great strenght at arms.

====Atagro====
Lord of Beasts, was once mortal but was risen to Minor Chaos God status by Shagraunt, another Minor Chaos God, deeds included slaying a Sandworm in Araby. Atagro is a huge vicious creature clad in glistening black armor and crowned with a fierce, horned helm atop his blackened, skeletal head. Atagro's eyes burn with a fiery luminance, and he wears a huge shroud-like cloak. Tormented, vaguely human wretches struggle and writhe to peer out from under its folds. Atagro's armor is decorated with all the symbols of chaos, as he was once their most powerful champion. His hands are filthy and rotted; capped with grim steel talons and dark metal studs. Atagro's weapon, Kagorr, is a huge tooth edged sword with a second blade extending from the handle. The mighty god wields the blade with whirling grace and deadly precision. Kagorr is the most powerful weapon of chaos ever created and less powerful blades of similar appearance are often granted to Atagro's followers.
*'''Storm Lasher''' (also known as ''Serpent-Giants'', ''Twisting Punishers'', or ''Lashing Gargantuans''): These disgusting creatures appear as bloated gray skinned giants with long flailing tentacles for heads. The creatures have thick, two fingered hands with each finger ending in huge dark tentacles. Their short opposable thumbs are their only true fingers. The storm lashers are so named due to their affinity for lightning. Lashers whip their enemies with tentacles and make a sound like thunder when they run.
*'''Gull Grinder''' (also known as ''Raging Slug Men'', ''Screaming Beasts of Frenzy',' or ''Atagro's Habitations''): These creatures are among the more deadly of Atagro's demons. They appear as huge brown skinned strongmen with slug bodies for legs. Their enormous muscled arms end in the heads of lions and their own flat, bald heads are featureless save for beady black eyes and huge mottled beaks. The Gull Grinders attack by biting or spewing fireballs with their lion heads.
*'''Corpse Render''' (also known as ''Butchers of Atagro'', ''Beast-Lords'', or ''The Dark Titans''): The horrifying Corpse Renders are absolutely Atagro's most powerful greater demons. They look like massive 20' humanoids with black skin and the heads of rhinos. The Corpse Renders arms end in spherical masses of dark, twisted blades which spin and rotate at the will of the demons. The Renders awesome muscular legs end in flattened black hooves which they may scrape across the ground as they snort in anticipation of a coming fray.

====Be'lakor====
{{main|Be'lakor}}
The first [[Daemon Prince]] and ostensibly the only Daemon Prince of [[Chaos Undivided]], Be'lakor commands a great amount of power over the Realms. While still under the thumb of his four parents, he has been able to control a sizeable army of followers and has claimed to have even influenced [[Archaon]].

====Chaos Gods of Law====
These old-school dudes have their own page!

====Hashut====
{{main|Hashut}}
Hashut apparently means "Father of Darkness" in Dwarfen, which naturally means he's the god of the [[Chaos Dwarfs]]. And if his followers are any indication, he's also god of penis-compensating hats.

====Khakkek====
[[File:KhakkekkFollowers.jpg|200px|right]]
From old-school Warhammer, was the god of the Chaos Goblins. Was only mentioned once or twice, but was described as a red skinned, 8 limbed spidery-goblin who was a god of bloodletting but unlike Khorne, allowed for magic. Described as seen as halfway between Khorne and Khaine. The picture above shows a cult of his worshippers. If you look closely, you can see the Symbol of Chaos on the Shaman's Loincloth.

*'''Greater Daemon:''' The Great Demons of Khakkek feature an almost Goblinoid physiognomy, so they can be easily mistaken, from afar or in poor light, for an Orc (albeit very large). On closer inspection, however, we discover glowing red eyes, Chaos armor, and an impressive number of sharp teeth and claws (including a nice pair of fangs). His face can mirror Khakkekk's, and he wields a fiery giant sword with immense skill. Its characteristics are the same as those of a standard Minor Demon.
*'''Lesser Daemon:''' Just as the Big Demon looks like an Orc, Orc, the Little Demon looks like some kind of Goblin. He too, from afar or in poor light, can easily be mistaken for a Goblin (albeit tall), with red eyes. His face and impressive array of dangerous teeth and talons (no fangs) are also reminiscent of Khakkekk. Its characteristics are similar to those of a Minor Demon.
*'''Daemonic Beast:''' These creatures, sociable in the manner of the Nurglings, appear as Brats (would be Snotlings in more modern editions, since Greenskins now reproduce by spores) with glowing red eyes (this is the common characteristic of the demons of Khakkekk, with sharp teeth and talons) and sport 1d4 Chaos mutations. Like other demons, each has a face that strangely recalls its master. The profile of a Demonic Creature is the same as a standard Servant Demon, or, alternatively, that of a Nurgling (if you have Realm of Chaos: the Lost and the Damned).
*'''Daemonic Steed:''' Khakkekk's Demonic Mount appears virtually identical, at least physically, to a Large Wolf, and it may actually be. Whether or not this is the case, it is virtually identical. You can therefore use the description of the Big Wolf from the bestiary of WFRP1 or that of present in this project.

====Kweethul====
Kweethul Gristlegut was a Skaven who managed to become an extremely minor Chaos God in the older Warhammer editions. He was later mentioned as being a HERETIC against the Horned Rat in a later Skaven army book. The Horned Rat will suffer no challenger to its dominion over Skaven-kind! Could create his own Daemons, too.

*'''The Six Eyed Slayer:''' Greater Daemon. He stands about 10ft in height with a pair of three eyed goats heads. It carries a Chaos Weapon with the power of mutation.
*'''Floating Horror:''' Lesser Daemon. Appearing much as a Harpy but with the clawed feet of a Bear.
*'''Fire Runner:''' Daemonic Steed. A partially feathered beast with burning clawed feet.
*'''The Thing:''' Daemonic Beast.

====Meneloth====
An androgynous god of pleasure among the Elves, may have been a sort of proto-Slaanesh before being absorbed into the greater whole of Slaanesh upon Slaanesh's birth, either that or a toned-down aspect of Slaanesh used to lure Elves into worship of Slaanesh, like a dealer giving a watered-down needle of heroin to a kid to get them addicted before giving them the hard stuff.

====Necoho====
[[File:Necoho_Revealed.png|500px|thumb|right|[[/tg/]] has recently deduced Necoho's true identity.]]
Necoho is the god of atheism and one of the other minor gods invented as a replacement for Malal. Stupid as it sounds, it actually works, as Chaos is a reflection of all human beliefs and emotions, including, paradoxically, disbelief. He generally works to make religious movements disappear and wears a permanent expression of comic amusement, as he fucking knows he's a walking, talking paradox.

Note that Necoho was introduced in an adventure for [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]] 1st Edition, so his current canonicity is doubtful, to say the least. That being said, he has been mentioned sporadically since then, such as the [[Gotrek & Felix]] novel ''Road of Skulls'', which is more than can be said for Zuvassin. Has been mentioned by name in the Age of Sigmar novel ''Auction of Blood'', along with a mention to his cult and an antitheist tract called "The Revelations of Necoho, or the Light of Doubt".

In the popular series [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device]], [[Magnus the Red]] made the point that the Emperor was, perhaps unknowingly, feeding a Chaos god of unbelief by promoting his Imperial Truth.

====Obscuras====
Brother of Alluminas, Chaos God of Law. Was originally one of the Gods of Law but got jealous of his brother and turned to Chaos proper.

Shadowphytes (also known as Shadow Daemons) are daemons of Obscuras, standing around the height of an average man. The most dedicated of Obscuras' cultists hope to join the ranks of the Shadowphytes upon their deaths. Shadowphytes appear as black shadowy humanoids whose features are only barely visible through the inner darkness they radiate. They cannot fly but possess the ability to melt into the shadows in one place and reappear in the shadows somewhere else within their line of sight. They fear the light and it is know to cause them actually damage when not standing in full or demi-darkness.

Shadowphytes can't cause physical wounding upon their victims, but cause damage through their touch, which robs the victim of his or her strength, and they are skilled users of the magical art of their master. It's said that anyone slain by a Shadowphyte is condemned to eternal torment in Obscuras' realm of shadow.

====Oubelgyr====
Oubelgyr is a Daemon-Prince who sits at the cusp of just-about-to-be-but-not-quite a Minor Chaos God, who is known to be a Peddler of Knowledge, like some sort of Daemonic Informant. Whereas Tzeentch is all about learning and then coveting secrets, Oubelgyr is always trying to find secret knowledge then sell it to the highest bidder, a trait useful for Chaos Sorcerers with sacrifices to spare who wish to skip the chanciness of Tzeentch's blessings. Was inprisoned at one point, but was able to scheme a way to unlock the door to his prison, only to then decide his prison was a nice lair and pretended to still be locked in. Rather than having daemons of his own, he has multiple Daemons and Mortal slaves who he has bound with contracts, who have to do as he says and guard him.

====Quorn====
[[File:QuornArtwork.jpg|200px|right]]

Not to be confused with Khorne, Quorn was the Minor Chaos God of carnivorous plants, whose schtick basically was "Radical Anti-Veganism" with carnivorous plant life devouring all flesh-creatures. His name was a double-pun, meant to sound like Khorne's and the same as a vegetable-based fake-meat substitute from before Impossible Meats were a thing. (Note: Pictured above is fan artwork produced by putting Quorn's name and description into Nightcafe, an Artificial Intelligence Art Program that makes art based on text description)

====Rhasneth====
The Chaos God of Insanity. Must be pretty batshit insane if his brand of nutters stands out amongst the general mental sickness of the rest of the Pantheon of Chaos.

The daemons of Rhasneth are to varied to make a single name for them, the most horrible nightmares of the most twisted madmen made real, pushing their way from the realm of nightmares into the world of the living to do their master's wish. The daemons of Rhasneth are special in that not all can see them, only those who have already lost their sanity can see them while all others fail to even notice them. The madman can scream in terror when his nightmares comes for him, not only to haunt him in his dreams but to feast upon his soul, while the rest of the world remains ignorant of the creature and tells him there is nothing there. Even as the daemon slowly approch, a mad twisted snarl upon its face...

====Screaming God-Child====
[[File:Screaming God-Child.png|200px|right|]]
Appearing only in the [[Malus Darkblade]] novel ''Lord of Ruin'', and more completely in the Malus chapters in Warhammer Monthly, the God-Child is the ruler of a little corner of the Realm of Chaos known as ''Alterity'', a massive chunk of rock on top of which lies walls in the shape of an eight-pointed star, guarded by ancient daemons who keep the locals and guests who enter from leaving Alterity. The God-Child himself takes the appearance of a young humanoid being with a near featureless face, only having a mouth, wearing robes and an amulet in the shape of the star of Chaos.

====Shagraunt====
A Minor Chaos God of whom even less is known of than Atagro, it was Shagraunt who ascended Atagro into the ranks of the Minor Chaos Gods.

====Stromfels/Mermedus====
Whilst often speculated to be [[Manann]]'s edgy dark half, Stromfels' mutant cults and rumored links to Khorne in earlier editions point towards his status as a minor Chaos god. Further proof of this is his patronage of sea mutant pirate Aranessa Saltspite, and his Chaos cult in the Gotrek and Felix story "Slayer of the Storm God", featuring his avatar, the "Harbinger of Stromfels".

Another variation of Manann but Chaos exists in the form of '''Mermedus''', the Norscan god of the sea, that's considered by some to be an even more edgy version of Stromfels. Notable that most Norscans don't even like him, because all who die at sea are claimed by him and denied entry to their patrons realm, except for the Skaelings who drown prisoners of war and animals for him after battles and raids. He's described as a ghoulish and bulbous figure that walks on the sea floor, covered in eyes and bloated like a drowned person. This is odd, as Stromfels' Avatar, Harbinger of Stromfels, looked like a Giant with a Tentacle where each of the Arms would be and the Head of a Shark.

In [[Total War: Warhammer II]], he is also [[Cylostra Direfin]]'s patron deity, having resurrected her as a vengeful ghost to wreak havoc against the High Elves and Bretonnians who rejected her singing.

In Age of Sigmar, he apparently is still worshipped by pirates in one area of Ghyran, and was worshipped by a tribe of Gargants in Azyr before Sigmar cleansed the realm of Chaos.

====Tristaris====
A Chaos Goddess of Misery, with a minor interest in knowledge. Represents the misery brought about by knowledge of Chaos' ultimate victory. Sounds like Tzeentch's perfect girl, a big tiddy goth nerd GF.

*'''Blissbane:''' (also known as ''Wailing Woman of Misery'',''Mistress of Destress'', or ''Gaunt Spirits of Lamentation'') This infernal creatures look like haggard, ghostly women with wild hair and gaunt, wrinkled bodies. They wear white shroud like clothes and are translucent to the eye. The Blissbanes emit occasional shrieks of pure misery as well as sudden bursts of maniacal laughter. They can pass through any obstacle as though they were ethereal, but are also incapable of manipulating any material objects. Often Blissbanes appear in groups of four, the number of Tristaris.
*'''Sloathe:''' (also known as ''Mounts of Misery'', ''Hunching Beasts of Suffering'', or ''Steeds of Tristaris'') The sloathes are bear sized creatures with four legs and short curved claws. The creatures have no heads and appear to be made almost entirely of layer upon layer of dark rags and shrouds. They make low grunting and grumbling sounds as they walk. The sloathes lash out with their claws in combat, and they have the ability to collapse into a pile of useless rags. The rags may be scattered by the wind or even burnt up; but unless every single one of them is destroyed the creature can return to its normal shape from any one of the pieces.
*'''Humanwood Tree:''' (also known as ''Oaks of Despair'', ''Petrified Eyes of Torment'', or ''Roots of Evil'') The humanwood trees are powerful demons that largely inhabit the groaning forests of misery in the pocket dimension that is Tristaris's realm in the chaos warp. The trees look like stubby, twisted oak trees with thick trunks and anguished human faces and bodies seemingly squirming about beneath their flexible bark. The trees speak a language that is their own and to hear it is to surely lose one's mind. All who hear the trees speaking will feel suffer from it as blood pours from their ears. The trees lash out with their branches and should the victom be caught the trees nine limbs will easily rip a held person to shreds. Strangly enough they are also immune to fire, somehting that would otherwise have been their main weakness.
*'''Sade:''' (also known as ''Screaming Devils of Sorrow'', ''Sobbing Lords of Tribulation'', or ''Jeering Lords of Languishing'') The Sades are Tristaris's greater demons. They look like gaunt red skinned men with long black beards, tiny horns from their foreheads and pointed chins. The Sades dress like nobles and their eyes are white and constantly streaming with bloody tears. Each of them carries a large, gleaming sickle. They also each carry a Lash of Lament and have long claws which they can use in close quarters. The Sades must consume twice their weight in living hearts each day that they exist in the material world if they are summoned.

====Urlfdaemonkin====
Urlf isn't a name. It's the last fucking death cry a guy makes when you gut him. That should tell you all you need to know. Anyway, this guy used to be a Norscan (like most of the daemon princes on this list) and was elevated to princehood by Khorne for exceptional badassery. Before his ascension, he was a massive, tall, bearded, Clint Eastwood-type Chaos Champion and was a chieftain of the Snaegr clan of Aeslingr. He's so fucking powerful that he was able to create his own lesser daemons and can bless warriors with the Mark and mutations of Khorne. Urlf has his own summoning days like most powerful daemon princes, and is usually worshiped as a lesser deity of Chaos by those who serve his master, Khorne. He has a short story in the 6th edition Chaos army book, where he muses on the fuck-you nature of time in the Warp and remarks on how the new Chieftain of the Snaegr resembles one of the sons he fathered in his mortal life. He also blesses the new chief with Khorne's mark and turns him into a monstrous cross [[Awesome|between a Bloodletter and a Chaos Champion]].

====Vymnn====
A Minor Chaos god who was only known as the master of the Daemon Prince Hakrii, who Atagro slayed (Hakrii, not Vymnn) in his quest for Daemon Princehood himself.

====Zhedun====
A Chaos God of gnawing, eternal hunger, who represents how Chaos would destroy itself if it ever won in the end, being dependent on sapient mortal thought for sustenance.

Daemons of Zhedun are known as Devouring Fiends (a.k.a. Mawed Ones, or Devourers) creatures ruled entirely by their own voracious appetite. They stands well over six feet tall, stooped, with atrophied arms but strong legs, and their heads are comprised mostly of a giant gaping jaw filled with massive teeth. Often they will stop at fallen foes, devouring their bodies in their Chaos-spawned hunger.

====Zuvassin====
Zuvassin is one of the two minor gods invented as a replacement for Malal. He just likes to see shit fall apart, specifically nonphysical stuff like schemes and lives - in other words, he's the god of [[not as planned]]. He's the guy who makes all the bad shit happen in infomercials. Generally, he makes sure that Murphy's Law is always enforced in the most spectacular possible ways. He doesn't have many worshippers, as he makes sure to fuck up whatever they're planning too.

Note that Zuvassin was only introduced in an adventure for [[Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay]] 1st Edition, so his current canonicity is doubtful, to say the least.

Actually, he is still canon, at least in Warhammer Fantasy. The 2nd Edition "Tome of Salvation" lists both him and Necoho as Chaos Gods.

And the motherfucker is STILL canon in Age of Sigmar, where a short story features a Chaos Champion named "Zuvass". Hmm.. I wonder who he might be worshipping.

Makes an appearance in [[Total War: WARHAMMER|Total War: WARHAMMER III]], where [[God-Slayer|Daniel]] can get an event where you can communicate with him and get his blessing, as he considers you important in disrupting the balance of Chaos.

====Ziraad, Thain, Blazzach and Javate====
4 Minor Chaos Gods known among the people of Araby, mentioned in Atagro's backstory as the gods worshipped by 4/6 members of his BATTLE-HAREM, the last 2 being a one of Tzeentch and one of Slaanesh.

===Warhammer 40,000===
====Balphomael====
[[File:Balphomael.png|200px|right]]
A minor Chaos God skirting on the edge of independent Greater Daemon, ruler of the Daemon World of Woe. Has a Christian Devil, "Let's Make a Deal" sort of vibe about him, complete with looking like classical illustrations of Demons and his name being a portmanteau of Baal, Baphomet and Samael. The art above is from a Dark Heresy book.

====King in Rags and Tatters====
Quite possibly a Chaos God version of Hastur from the Cthulhu Mythos, may or may not be a guise of Tzeentch. Leader of the "Menagerie" a Chaos Cult that seeks to unravel reality itself. Has unique demonic minions in the form of Warp Spectres, roiling, constantly changing masses of hideous-energy-being Daemons (like a Chaos Spawn made of gas and energy instead of fluid flesh?).

====Lord of Misrule====
Another minor Chaos God skirting on the edge of being an independent Greater Daemon from Dark Heresy. Also seeks to undo the veil between reality and the Warp.

====Melkirth====
Mentioned in older background material for Warhammer 40,000. Melkirth was a minor chaos god described as "The god of evil, malice, and wanton cruelty and suffering." While Melkirth remains a minor god, it is said that the actions of the mortal races, particularly the Dark Eldar, are causing Melkirth to grow in power until he ultimately becomes the fifth major Chaos God. The daemons of Melkirth are described as being the colour of shadow and able to take on the appearance of any daemon, be it a daemon of Khorne, Nurgle, Slaanesh, or Tzeentch. These shadow daemons could be inspiration for the shadow daemons Morathi encounters in Ulgu in Age of Sigmar, as they are also having to do with Dark Aelfs.

====Mo'rcck, Phraz-Etar, and Ans'l====
Puns on the last names of sci-fi and fantasy author Michael Moorcock (from whom the idea of [[Chaos]] as a fundamental force in the world was blatantly stolen/took inspiration from, and don't anyone ever say "borrow for a while" since even the author and Games Workshop have admitted it), artist Frank Frazetta (who drew a lot of movie and comic book posters, especially in sci-fi and fantasy), and Citadel Miniatures founder Bryan Ansell (who wrote several of the [[Rogue Trader (Sourcebook)|First Edition]] rulebooks). These guys helped set the tone of the early [[Warhammer 40,000]] universe (purposefully or not), including the propensity of putting spikes on [[Chaos]] things. Games Workshop decided to pay homage in the (initial) Third Edition [[Codex]]: [[Chaos Space Marines]], which mentioned that Chaos Space Marines often put "spiky bits" on their armour in praise of these three gods. They were never mentioned anywhere else, and probably shouldn't be considered "canonical"... not that canonicity counts for much in 40k anyway.

====Raptor God====
The minor god worshipped by the [[Chaos Raptor]]s, responsible for turning them from standard [[Assault Squad|Assault Marines]] to the mercenaries they currently are, and maybe also the one that turns them into [[Warp Talons]].

===Age of Sigmar===
====Archaon====
{{main|Archaon}}
Upon completing a new set of challenges by the Chaos Gods in AoS, he was empowered to demigod level and given free reign to do whatever he desired.

====Devourer of Existence====
A primitive aspect of Chaos as an apex predator, that wishes to devour all else and despises any sign of civilization, worshipped by the Untamed Beasts. Maybe a modern take on Zhedun?

====Eightfold Watcher====
Some sort of Chaos-Spider-Godbeast worshipped by the Tarantulos Brood. From Warcry Red Harvest.

====Ever-Raging Flame====
A massive fire of Chaos, said to be the Chaos personification of Aqshy itself, worshipped by the Scions of the Flame in the Realm of Fire.

====The Great Gatherer====
A (presumably) giant crow worshipped by tribesmen from Ulgu in the [[Age of Sigmar]]. Not much is known about him, since [[Warcry|the only game his followers appear in]] isn't out yet, but we do know that the [[Corvus Corax|Corvus]] Cabal (the aforementioned tribesmen) consider [[Archaon]] to be his avatar in the Mortal Realms. Theories range from it being an aspect of [[Tzeentch]] (notable avian features, Tzeentch is known to be interested in the Realm of Shadow, maybe gathering secrets?) or [[Nurgle]] (the Crow was Nurgle's totem animal among the Norscans, maybe gathering bodies?) to being a minor, but ascending, Chaos God not so far removed from the Great Horned Rat's path to the pantheon. He even has the weird connection to both Nurgle and Tzeentch the GHR does. It has been confirmed that the Warbands from Warcry will be usable in the main game, possibly as normal units, and will have the keyword SLAVES TO DARKNESS, which means he'll have some representation in a mainline game. Not too bad for the newest kid on the block.

====Morghur====
{{main|Morghur The Shadowgave}}
Originally one of the most notable Beastmen, he's worshipped as a minor Chaos God of mutation and devolution in Age of Sigmar. Wait what the fuck is this??

====Nagendra====
Originally a Godbeast, was splintered and the remains corrupted into Daemons called Coiling Ones, worshipped by the Splintered Fang.

===Blood Bowl===
====Nuffle====
{{Main|Nuffle}}
A joke Chaos God for [[Bloodbowl]], Nuffle is a mispronunciation of NFL (as in "National Football League", the American gridiron football pro league in real life), which would be pronounced "Noofle" as in "book" if you tried pronouncing it. Nuffle explains why the Blood Bowl universe is so wacky and gridiron football obsessed. Technically the superior to the rest of Chaos, although apparently only in the Blood Bowl universe.

===When Tzeentch was the best===
According to recent Tzeentch Codex/Battletome Tzeentch was at one point the sole major chaos god. A rebellion against him fractured him into many pieces, which because of warp time fuckery, technically counts as a different god. When chaos was first forming (just after War in Heaven for 40k) there were many chaos gods and entities competing (rather than the total domination that exists now). Tzeentch somehow became number one, and was a super god of sorts, although he was possibly less powerful than the current Tzeentch due to the lesser size and influence of chaos. A rebellion by all the other chaos gods fractured him, creating the Tzeentch we know today. In the same way that Slaanesh has always existed in 40k, the new Tzeentch has always existed the way he is. While the old Tzeentch is permanently destroyed (across all time), while still doing the things he did, what really matters is the influence in the material realm: Tzeentch's new self and Slaanesh started doing that when they were created relative to the materium, while the Warp is such a mess that a contradiction like old Tzeentch being completely destroyed while still having done the things he did is basically nothing. They are implied to be two seperate entites.

This is a variant of the backstory of The Blue Scribes.

{{ChaosGods}}

[[Category:Heresy]]
[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]]

Hel

2022-08-03T02:08:47Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Mystaran Hel */

{{dnd-stub}}

==Historical Fantasy Hel==
{{Infobox Deity
|Name = Hel
|Aliases = Goddess of Death and The Underworld, the Merciless
|Symbol = [[File:Hel hf symbol.jpg|200px]] Woman's face, rotting on one side
|Alignment = Neutral Evil
|Divine Rank = Intermediate Goddess
|Pantheon = [[Norse Mythology|Norse]]
|Portfolio = Death, the Underworld
|Domains = '''3E:''' Death, Destruction, Evil '''5E:''' Death
|Home Plane = ''Niflheim'' ([[Hades]])
|Worshippers = People who fear death
|Favoured Weapon = Longsword
}}

As in Norse lore, Hel has a half of a beautiful face, with a rotting corpse as the other half of her body. Such a terrible sight can strike fear in even the bravest of warriors.

Sometimes, Hel sends an avatar to Midgard as a dark-skinned woman, who recovers a man whom Hel favours and takes him to Niflheim. One kiss from her will cause instant death. The goddess herself is cruel and merciless, rarely smiling except in mocking cruelty. She can heal very quickly, and anything that she touches with her hand or blades dies instantly. If someone manages to kill her, she will return to life in a few days.

Hel is also a master in necromancy.

Such is the fear of Hel and the death that she brings, that she only has a few worshippers in the mortal plane. Those tends to be people seeking vengeance, and an assassin order made of women. Her priestesses tend to be cremators of the deceased.

{{D&D-Historical-Deities}}
{{clear}}
==Mystaran Hel==
{{Infobox Deity
|Name = Hel
|Aliases = Hala, Nyt, Hiisi
|Symbol = [[File:Hel symbol.png|200px]]
<center>A dark stone throne with human skulls</center>
|Alignment = Neutral Evil
|Divine Rank = Hierarch Immortal
|Pantheon = [[Mystara]]n (Entropy)
|Portfolio = reincarnation, corruption, death, darkness, cold, evil, shadows
|Domains = Entropy, Evil, Death, Corruption, Darkness, Cold
|Worshippers = people of the Northern Reaches
|Favoured Weapon = Heavy Mace
}}
[[File:Hel HW.jpg|left|300px]]
'''Hel''' is an immortal of Death in the [[D&D]] setting of [[Mystara]]. She likes to reincarnate evil souls so they can do more evil. She created the highly-mutating [[Beastman (D&D)|Beastmen]] race 5,000 years ago by fleshcrafting bodies for the reincarnated evil souls of sapients she collected, which later split off into the progenitors of the Orcoid, Goblinoid, Cycloptic, and Ogroid races. She and [[Thanatos]], the other Death-obsessed immortal, are not allies, but they have a begrudging respect for one another and generally stay out of each other's affairs.

{{D&D-Mystara-Immortals}}

Hel

2022-08-03T02:07:11Z

2601:188:C300:64B8:883D:782D:8973:2663: /* Mystaran Hel */

{{dnd-stub}}

==Historical Fantasy Hel==
{{Infobox Deity
|Name = Hel
|Aliases = Goddess of Death and The Underworld, the Merciless
|Symbol = [[File:Hel hf symbol.jpg|200px]] Woman's face, rotting on one side
|Alignment = Neutral Evil
|Divine Rank = Intermediate Goddess
|Pantheon = [[Norse Mythology|Norse]]
|Portfolio = Death, the Underworld
|Domains = '''3E:''' Death, Destruction, Evil '''5E:''' Death
|Home Plane = ''Niflheim'' ([[Hades]])
|Worshippers = People who fear death
|Favoured Weapon = Longsword
}}

As in Norse lore, Hel has a half of a beautiful face, with a rotting corpse as the other half of her body. Such a terrible sight can strike fear in even the bravest of warriors.

Sometimes, Hel sends an avatar to Midgard as a dark-skinned woman, who recovers a man whom Hel favours and takes him to Niflheim. One kiss from her will cause instant death. The goddess herself is cruel and merciless, rarely smiling except in mocking cruelty. She can heal very quickly, and anything that she touches with her hand or blades dies instantly. If someone manages to kill her, she will return to life in a few days.

Hel is also a master in necromancy.

Such is the fear of Hel and the death that she brings, that she only has a few worshippers in the mortal plane. Those tends to be people seeking vengeance, and an assassin order made of women. Her priestesses tend to be cremators of the deceased.

{{D&D-Historical-Deities}}
{{clear}}
==Mystaran Hel==
{{Infobox Deity
|Name = Hel
|Aliases = Hala, Nyt, Hiisi
|Symbol = [[File:Hel symbol.png|200px]]
<center>A dark stone throne with human skulls</center>
|Alignment = Neutral Evil
|Divine Rank = Hierarch Immortal
|Pantheon = [[Mystara]]n (Entropy)
|Portfolio = reincarnation, corruption, death, darkness, cold, evil, shadows
|Domains = Entropy, Evil, Death, Corruption, Darkness, Cold
|Worshippers = people of the Northern Reaches
|Favoured Weapon = Heavy Mace
}}
[[File:Hel HW.jpg|left|300px]]
'''Hel''' is an immortal of Death in the [[D&D]] setting of [[Mystara]]. She likes to reincarnate evil souls so they can do more evil. She created the [[Beastman (D&D)|Beastmen]] race 5,000 years ago, which later split off into the Orc, Goblinoid, Cyclops, and Ogre races. She and [[Thanatos]], the other Death-obsessed immortal, are not allies, but they have a begrudging respect for one another and generally stay out of each other's affairs.

{{D&D-Mystara-Immortals}}