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Kobold

2020-02-07T20:49:54Z

2601:203:480:4C60:B909:A93B:6A2B:B07C: Undo revision 634559 by 204.29.111.23 (talk) So cute!

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[[File:Kobold commando.jpg|300px|thumb|right|A [[/k/]]obold.]]
'''Kobolds''' are a race of creatures originating from Germanic folklore, where they were [[goblin]]-like malevolent spirits who were believed to haunt mines, occasionally leaving nasty surprises in the form of worthless, poisonous metal - the element we now know as "cobalt". The ore is naturally found as sharp shards, bonded with arsenic oxide. The shards are sharp enough to penetrate boots and feet, hurting miners and making them sick just as if they were poisoned caltrop traps left by kobolds. A "cobalt bomb" is a proposed nuclear weapon designed to poison a large territory with super-radioactive cobalt dust, making the target area uninhabitable for 105 years. The (relatively) short half-life makes it especially deadly, but possible for your great-grandchildren to recover the empty territory. So watch out for "kobold bombs" or "magic missiles".

They shot to fame in /tg/ circles in [[Dungeons & Dragons]] where, ever since the very first edition, they have been small, weak creatures, generally serving in most campaigns as low-level cannon fodder for the adventurers to mow down, much like [[goblins]] and [[orcs]].

Despite being physically weak, however, kobolds are also described as capable trapsmiths, and are known for creating traps to protect their lairs and dungeons (a habit that is usually ignored or underplayed by most [[DM]]s). This habit - combined with a penchant for lethal tunnel design and group tactics - were famously used in the tale of [[Tucker's Kobolds]] to illustrate that kobolds - and, indeed, any intelligent creature - can remain dangerous to high-level adventurers despite being statistically inferior in just about every way.

If played with the intention of being dangerous, kobolds are far and away the hardest throwaway monsters to fight. It could be likened to a sort of sick, hardcore version of Home Alone, with the kobolds taking the part of a severely deranged and sadistic Kevin McCallister and the PCs taking the part of hopelessly underprepared thugs walking into a situation they cannot have possibly foreseen. If treated like cannon fodder, they are the absolute hands-down easiest things in any edition to kill, including [[cat|housecats]] and electric iguanas.

Kobolds are often used as "weakling" monsters in games, particularly video games based on the pen-and-paper variety. Their actual versatility depends on the system, but like D&D runs the gamut of [[Dawww|harmless]] to [[Dwarf Fortress#Cats|devastating in numbers]] to [[Anal circumference|downright impossible]]. They are sometimes portayed as reptilian creatures, sometimes as either wolf/dog-like or [[Warcraft| rat-like]]; D&D has actually been in both camps in different editions, and in fact [[5e]] (presumably as part of its attempt to be the "Greatest Hits" edition) actually decided to split the difference and made them dragonkin with some reptilian and some canine features.

There is a market in [[Dungeons_%26_Dragons_3rd_Edition | 3.5]] for kobold [[PC]]s, since their draconian/reptilian ancestry make them one of the only +0 Level Adjustment races capable of qualifying for much of the additional material in [[splatbook]]s like the Draconomicon and the Book of Dragons. [[Pun-Pun]], for example, is a rather famous [[CharOp]] design that allows a kobold wizard to attain theoretically unlimited abilities and attributes, using material from splatbooks and the [[Forgotten Realms]] [[Dungeons_%26_Dragons_Campaign_Settings | campaign setting]].

While [[4e]] technically does allow for 0LA characters using the "racial features" rules in the Monster Manual, they effectively play like reptilian halflings, which get better bonuses. The lack of splat and reptilian-based bonuses makes them less appealing than 3e, but their inherent trap skills make them excellent [[Bloody Path|rogues]].

5th edition's Volo Guide to Monsters reintroduced them as an option, and while they're not a ''bad'' choice per se (Small, +2 to Dex and Darkvision make Kobolds quite effective rogues), their sensitivity to daylight proves to be a real disadvantage in campaigns that aren't extensive dungeon crawls.

The patron god of the kobolds is [[Kurtulmak]].

Kobolds are very popular with [[Furry|Scalies]].

==The Many Faces of Kobolds==
[[File:Kobold_Art_History.jpg|200px|thumb|right|A basic summary of the kobold look from 1st to 4th edition.]]
D&D Kobolds have undergone a long history of revision. When they first appeared in basic/AD&D 1e, they were considered kin to goblinoids, but also had distinctly beast-man type appearances - of course, these were the days in which [[bullywug]]s and [[gnolls]] were considered humanoids and thus could interbreed with humans, so not that weird. The result was a scaly-skinned rat or dog-like humanoid with small horns and a distinct barking voice. The version first depicted in the [[Monster Manual]] was clearly a scaly dog-man, but versions by other artists were more rat-like.

When AD&D 2e was launched, the first Monstrous Compendium presented an alternative version that was more visibly [[goblin]]-like; a small, ugly but fundamentally man-shaped creature with big, saucer-like eyes, a puggish face and small horns. This version was not very well received, and the artwork quickly went back to the more rodent-like visages of editions past. The iconic depiction of this was by [[Tony DiTerlizzi]], in the AD&D Monstrous Manual.

Finally, in 3rd edition, kobolds became stunted, draconic humanoids; little reptile men with dragon-like snouts and stubby horns, and this interpretation, which made them claim kinship to true dragons, became their iconic face for all editions afterwards. Even Pathfinder reused this. The 5th edition version somewhat combined the reptilian and canine features, keeping them little reptile men with stubby horns on their heads, but giving them a more canine head with a black dog-like nose at the end of their snout, as well as a pair of longer horns that somewhat resemble dog ears at a glance.

Because the "dragonbolds" or "lizardbolds" are so associated with D&D, when kobolds reappear in other media, their appearance often changes. Because the goblinoid form is too confusing, most kobolds tend to be either [[ratfolk]] or dog-people. [[Warcraft]] has long used the ratfolk interpretation, with its kobolds being humanoid rats who are obsessed with finding candles to help them in their eternal mining. In Japanese media, kobolds as digging dog-people as popular for much the same reason why pig-men [[orc]]s are popular: [[Old School Roleplaying]] [[neckbeard]]s have a huge influence on /tg/ related animes & mangas, and they retain fond memories of the original quasi-dog-like appearance of kobolds from AD&D 2e. This is why, for example, Polt of [[Life With Monstergirls]] appears as a dog-girl.

==D&D Stats==
Kobolds have long been one of the playable monstrous races of Dungeons & Dragons, although their precise mechanical crunch has been... kind of hit and miss. Pathfinder and 5th edition's versions in particular have often been angrily derided for actually being weaker than [[Goblin]]s, who are supposed to be on roughly the same level of inferiority on the totem pole.

===BECMI===
Kobolds were amongst the many "humanoid" races to debut in the [[Known World Gazetteers|Known World Gazetteer #10: The Orcs of Thar]], alongside [[orc]]s, [[goblinoid]]s, [[ogre]]s, [[troll]]s and [[gnoll]]s.

::Kobold Ability Modifiers: -4 Strength, +3 Dexterity
::Note: Like all Humanoids from "The Orcs of Thar", a Kobold has racial ability score caps of 18 in all scores bar [[Intelligence]] and [[Wisdom]], which are capped at 16.
::Note: Like all Humanoids from "The Orcs of Thar", a Kobold determines its [[Charisma]] score for interacting with [[human]]s and [[demihuman]]s by dividing its Charisma score by 3 (rounding down) and subtacting the result from 9.
::Kobold Natural Armor Class: 7
::Can become [[Shaman]]s (6th level) and [[Wokani]] (4th level).

{| class=wikitable
!Kobold's's level || XP Required || Kobold's hit dice
|-
|0||0||1d4
|-
|1||500X||2d4
|-
|2||1,000||3d4
|-
|3||2,000||4d4
|-
|4||4,000||5d4
|-
|5||8,000||6d4
|-
|6||16,000||7d4
|-
|7||30,000||8d4
|-
|8||60,000||9d4
|-
|9||120,000||+2 Hit Points
|-
|Subsequent||100,000||+2 Hit Points
|}

===AD&D/2nd Edition===
From the Complete Book of Humanoids. Before these, kobold PC rules (alongside [[xvart]], [[goblin]] and [[orc] rules) had appeared for AD&D 1e in the article "Hey, Wanna Be a Kobold?" by Joseph Clay in [[Dragon Magazine]] #141 (January 1989).

::Ability Score Modifiers: -1 Strength, -1 Constitution
::Altered Ability Scores: Minimum Dexterity and Constitution of 4, Maximum Strength of 15, Maximum Constitution of 16, Maximum Intelligence of 17, Maximum Charisma of 14
::Class & Level Restrictions: Fighter (8), Cleric (9), Shaman (7), Witch Doctor (7), Thief (12)
::Size: Small
::Special Advantages: Infravision 60 feet, Intelligent or Powerful creatures will attack a kobold last unless it is obviously a threat
::Special Disadvantages: Light Aversion (-1 penalty to attack rolls in equivalent of direct sunlight), gnomes receive a +1 to attack rolls against kobolds
::Weapon Proficiencies: Club (spiked), hand axe, javelin, short sword, spear
::Non-Weapon Proficiencies: Animal noise, animal training (giant weasel), animal training (wild boar), begging, close-quarter fighting, danger sense, fast-talking, gem cutting, hiding, looting, mining, set snares, wild fighting

===3rd Edition===
From Races of the Dragon.

*Ability Score Modifiers: +2 Dexterity, -4 Strength, -2 Constitution
*Size: Small
*Type: Humanoid (Dragonblood, Reptilian)
*Base Speed 30 feet
::This is faster than almost any other Small humanoid can get, making kobolds actually better for certain mobility builds than gnomes or halflings can ever be.
*Darkvision 60 ft.
*+1 natural bonus to AC
*+2 racial bonus to Craft (Trapmaking), Profession (Miner) and Search checks; Craft (trapmaking) is always considered a class skill.
::Later on in Chapter 6: Character Options, the skill listing for Profession says that kobolds also get some unusual perks to use Profession (miner). One kobold counts as a Medium creature to determine how much digging it can do, and up to 4 of the Small-sized fuckers can fit into a single square at one time. That means that they can actually dig four times as fast as dwarves and certain other underground races. In the book, it actually says that dwarves respect their mining skills.
*Light Sensitivity: Dazzled when exposed to bright sunlight or a daylight spell (which can be negated by buying some goggle-shades later on in the same book)
*Favored Class: Sorcerer

Additionally, Races of the Dragon has the Draconic Rite of Passage, where allows kobolds to endure a 9-day fasting, the permanent loss of 1 hp, and sacrifice a 100 gp gem to gain any 1st-level spell as a spell-like ability, usable once a day.

It should be noted that these basic stats were still considered a little weak compared to other races, so a web enhancement for Races of the Dragon beefed them up a tiny bit. While this didn't really make them all that "powerful", the update did actually make them a very interesting race. The additional abilities are:
* Natural Weapons: It's just a little 2 claws / 1 bite set that does 1d3 for them all, but it does mean a kobold is never unarmed, as well as explaining how they are so fucking ridiculous at digging.
* Slight Build: The opposite of the goliath advantage, you get to count as one size category smaller when it's advantageous, such as for size modifiers or when squeezing through a tight space.
* Weapon Proficiency/Familiarity: Kobolds get Martial Weapon Proficiency in light pick and heavy pick (kind of the way elves and others get bonus profs), and treat greatpicks from that web supplement as martial instead of exotic.
* Kobold cleric domain: Gives the cleric trapfinding, adds Disable Device and Search to class skills, gives some pretty fucking spiffy domain spells.
* The Greater Draconic Rite of Passage: This awesome addition allows a kobold sorcerer who already did the lesser Draconic Rite of Passage to get a free fucking level of sorcerer that doesn't alter their ECL or anything. No shit; all you have to do is another 9-day fast, give up 3 hp permanently (which is the only reason you might hesitate to do it), and a 1,000 gp gem. Enjoy being overpowered, you asshole...
* Draconic Reservoir feat: Your SLA from Draconic Rite of Passage is now 3/day instead of 1/day. Make it count.

====Why D&D 3.5 Kobolds Kick Ass====
It may not seem like it, but despite what a bunch of dipshts may say, 3.5 was the time when kobolds ascended to godlike fucking power.

You see, D&D characters have ages, and in third edition, your character's age can place you into one of four age categories. The first does nothing, and each one after that stacks a -1 to your physical ability scores and a +1 to all of your mental ability scores, so a character who is older than Jesus will have -3 str, -3 dex, -3 con, +3 int, +3 wis, and +3 cha... unless that character is a dragon. Dragons get the mental benefits of old age without the physical penalties, because dragons are fucking awesome. But that doesn't do kobolds a lot of good, because kobolds aren't dragons, right? Enter the Dragonwrought feat. A kobold who takes the Dragonwrought feat during character-creation gets their creature type changed from humanoid to dragon. Page 39 of Races of the Dragon explicitly confirms: "Ability penalties due to age do not apply to dragonwrought kobolds. See the Dragonwrought feat, page 100." So, a 120-year-old dragonwrought kobold gets a free +3 to its mental scores in addition to all the other benefits of counting as a dragon, like low-light vision and immunity to magic sleep and paralysis effects. For a wizard, sorcerer, cleric, favored soul, psion, or any other dedicated caster class, which are already pretty godlike, dragonwrought kobolds can give you that little bit of extra edge that you need to achieve [[Pun-Pun|''uber''-godhood]].

It gets better, though. You see, in addition to the four ''normal'' age categories that all characters have, kobolds have ''kobold age categories'', ranging from Wrymling to Great Wyrm. True dragons, meanwhile, have ''dragon age categories'' with the ''exact same names'', and although there is no strict and official definition of a "true dragon" anywhere in the D&D 3e literature, they have been described as dragons that progress through said age categories. As a result, [[skub|some people have argued]] that [[bullshit|dragonwrought kobolds are, in fact, true dragons]]. Why would this matter? Because there's a bunch of epic dragon cheese that is only available to true dragons, and if you can stack that shit on a kobold player character, you'll practically be eating Tarrasques for lunch.

As NPCs, kobolds know they are small and weak and can't do much about it. They can dig through a mountain faster than that chump John Henry (look it up, you illiterate fuckwits), and lay out enough traps to make the Tomb of Horrors look like a fucking carnival ride, though, so what other creature could use a legion of little minions who do nothing but dig out precious minerals and make traps to defend it all day? Fucking dragons, of course. Right there in Races of the Dragon, there's a blue dragon who actually tells her hatchlings that only kobolds are more reliable than family and the most diehard friends. Because kobolds don't sit on their treasure; they hand it over to a neighborhood dragon and ask for nothing but protection and a little help with enemies once in a while. For a dragon, the return on that investment is just too good: fabulous wealth, dozens of lethal traps to help protect it, and a nice little army of sneaky, smart little ranged attackers who won't hesitate to pin-cushion intruders with dozens of crossbow bolts. For the most part, everyone wins in that arrangement.

Kobolds may not be as elegant as elves, as sturdy as dwarves, or have the adaptability of humans. What they have is moxie and the smarts to play up their strengths, making them the "underdogs" you can't help but root for a little bit.

===Pathfinder===
In addition to appearing in the Advanced Race Guide and Inner Sea Races, Kobolds got their own mini-booklet specifically aimed at Kobolds of Golarion, with a bunch of new traits - including special "bonus" traits based on what color their scales were.

::Ability Score Modifiers: +2 Dexterity, -4 Strength, -2 Constitution
::Size: Small
::Type: Humanoid (Reptilian)
::Speed: 30 feet
::Darkvision 60 feet
::Armor: +1 natural armor
::Crafty: +2 racial bonus to Craft (Traps), Perception, and Profession (Miner), Craft (Traps) and Stealth are always Class Skills
::Weakness: Light Sensitivity

''Alternate Racial Traits:''
* '''Beast Bond:''' Replace '''Crafty''' with +2 racial bonus to Handle Animal and Ride checks, with Handle Animal and Ride always being Class Skills.
* '''Dragon-Scaled:''' Replace '''Armor''' with Resistance 5 to either Acid, Cold, Electricity or Fire Damage.
* '''Gliding Wings:''' Replace '''Crafty''' with the ability to Glide; when falling, a kobold can make a DC 15 Fly check to land without injury as if using the ''Feather Fall'' spell, and if it succeeds on this check, can then make a second DC 15 Fly check to move 5 feet laterally for every 20 feet fallen.
* '''Jester:''' Replace '''Crafty''' with +2 racial bonus to Diplomacy and Perform checks, with Diplomacy and Perform always being Class Skills.
* '''Dayrider:''' Downgrades a kobold's Darkvision to Low-Light Vision, but removes its Light Sensitivity.
* '''Dragonmaw:''' Replaces '''Armor''' with a D4 damage bite attack that can also deal a bonus +1d6 fire/acid/cold/lightning damage (chosen and set at character creation) 1/day.
* '''Echo Whistler:''' Replaces '''Crafty''' with the ability to try and make a Bluff check with just a bit of vocal mimicry 3/day, gaining a +2 bonus to the check in any place that would generate an echo.
* '''Frightener:''' Replaces '''Armor''' with a +1 DC boost to any Fear spell that the kobold casts.
* '''Prehensile Tail:''' Replaces '''Armor''' with a +2 bonus to Acrobatics & Climb checks and the ability to draw a hidden weapon as a move action.
* '''Secret Strider:''' Replaces '''Crafty''' with the ability to, twice per day, enter a super-sneaky mode for 1 minute. During this time, the kobold leaves no trail when moving through natural surroundings, increasing the DC of Survival checks to track it by +10.
* '''Shoulder To Shoulder:''' Replaces '''Crafty''' with a +1 bonus to Aid Another checks, the ability to occupy the same space as another Small creature without penalty, and the ability to gain a +1 AC bonus when sharing a space with another kobold with this trait.
* '''Spellcaster Sneak:''' Replaces '''Crafty''' with a +2 bonus to Stealth checks. A kobold spellcaster with this trait can also freely apply Silent Spell to a spell 1/day.
* '''Wild Forest Kobold:''' Replaces ''Crafty'' with a +2 bonus to Perception and Survival checks. Additionally, Stealth and Survival are always class skills for this kobold.
* '''Wyrmcrowned:''' Replaces ''Crafty'' with a +2 bonus to either Diplomacy or Intimidate and the ability to count the chosen skill as always being a class skill.

Pathfinder 2nd Edition doesn't have playable kobolds yet (they're coming in the Advanced Player's Guide releasing at GenCon 2020) but artwork of them so far shows a notable redesign in appearance, now looking more like salamanders or other lizards, with wider heads and a relatively thicker body (no, not ''that'' sort of thick). If nothing else, the wider and flatter heads do make the "three kobolds in a trenchcoat" trick a little more structurally-stable.

===4th Edition===
In this edition, kobolds received their first writeup in the Monster Manual 1.
::Ability Score Modifier: +2 Dexterity +2 Constitution,
::Size: Small
::Vision: Normal
::Speed: 6 squares
::Skill Bonus: +2 Stealth, +2 Thievery
::Trap Sense: +2 to all defenses against traps
::Racial Power - Shifty: At-Will power. You can spend a minor action to Shift 1 square

They later got beefed up in the Dungeon Survival Guide. This gave them the Reptile type, traded Stealth bonus for Dungeoneering, gave them Darkvision, let them swap their Dex boost for +2 Charisma instead, and replaced Shifty with Shifty Manuever, an Encounter power that lets the kobold and all allies within Close Burst 2 shift 1 square as a free action.

It also gave them five new racial utility powers; Flee! (level 2 Daily; kobold and all allies in Close Burst 2 get +2 to all defenses for 1 turn and shift their full speed), Load Slingpot (level 2 Encounter; kobold with a sling can fling a randomly enchanted projectile that will either give the target a turn-long attack penalty, set the target on fire, or immobilize them for a turn), Tunnel Scuttle (level 6 Encounter; free move action that can go up walls and through tight spaces without issue), Frantic Shift (level 10 Encounter; shift 1 square as a minor action, recharges if you get Bloodied) and Trap-Gang Method (level 10 At-Will; if you take trap/hazard damage with a non-minion creature adjacent to you, you can shift over half the damage you take to that creature).

On top of that, it also provided them with five empowering feats; Dragon's Indomitability (roll two dice and choose the result you want when saving vs. Fear and Stun), Kobold in a Corner (+1 per tier bonus damage against creatures that have combat advantage against you), and Shiftier Maneuver (when you use Shifty Maneuver, one target can shift +2 extra squares) for every'bold, Trapbuster (roll two dice and pick your preference when making Perception checks to detect traps, you don't ever trigger a trap if you fail a Thievery check to disable it) for those with training in Thievery, and Eldritch Momentum (if you move at least 3 squares away from where you started your turn, you gain combat advantage against all creatures under your Warlock's Curse until the end of your next turn) for the kobold [[warlock]].

Truly, 4th edition was a glorious time to play a kobold.

===5th Edition===
[[File:Looting_Kobolds.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Kobolds are a bit more silly in 5e.]]
From Volo's Guide to Monsters.

::Ability Score Modifier: +2 Dexterity, -2 Strength
::Size: Small
::Speed: 30 feet
::Darkvision
::Grovel: Once per encounter, can use an action on your turn to beg, plead, snivel and otherwise humiliate yourself; until the end of your next turn, all of your allies gain Advantage on attack rolls made against enemies within 10 feet of you and who can see your pathetic display.
::Pack Tactics: If at least one non-incapacitated ally is within 5 feet of a creature you are attacking, you gain Advantage on attack rolls against that creature.
::Sunlight Sensitivity: You suffer Disadvantage on attack rolls and Wisdom (Perception) checks made when you or your target are in direct sunlight.

The Grovel power is ridiculously useful, allowing you to grant Advantage to ALL attack rolls made by ALL your allies against a sizable number of enemies. That said, it's also the source of a great deal of [[skub]]; those who like their kobolds to be viewed as "truly pathetic" feel it's fitting, whilst players who want to play a kobold in order to fight ''against'' the perception of kobolds as weak, cowardly, stupid cannon fodder find it infuriating, because it's a racial trait that goes directly against their character plan AND it means you're inherently contributing less to the party. In fairness, it can easily be reskinned into a more heroic or warlike act, a comedy skit if you're going for something goofier, or even an elaborate and [[Pun-Pun|truly cunning]] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XfkZlcG8KU| deception.]

Likewise, the Pack Tactics power is seen as extremely powerful. This is offset by your Sunlight Sensitivity, meaning that you yourself are less able to contribute in a fight. Especially since, being Small and having a Strength penalty, you're not likely to be in melee range in the first place, as you're far better suited for a bow-based [[rogue]]/[[ranger]] or a spellcaster.

In a nutshell, the 5e Kobold looks like an attempt at directly converting the 5e Monster Manual version into a PC race, for good or ill.

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==Cutebolds==
[[File:Cutebold adventure party.gif|250px|thumb|right|Aw, they think they're people!]]
Cutebolds are like Kobolds only incredibly cute.

They are pitiful and childish in everything they do, and are innocent enough to not know how to procreate. All they know is that rubbing their noses gives them a guilty pleasure. They are no less "harmless" when played properly, though. They tend toward the dog-like for extra D'aww.

This interpretation of the Kobold is thought to have been inspired by their depiction in [[Dwarf Fortress]], where they steal your supplies, but seem to do it in the most endearingly stupid manner possible.

Cutebold stats:
: +2 Dex, +2 Cha, -2 Int
: Charm person once per day as a spell like ability
: Low light vision and scent

==Kobold Commandos==

[[File:Kobold-red-beret.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Another [[/k/]]obold.]]
[[File:Kobold-with-smg.png|300px|thumb|right|Yet another [[/k/]]obold.]]
A popular way to portray kobolds in a more contemporary fashion, kobold commandos portray kobolds as being part of the military, especially special forces. Other anons point out that with the fact that they don't hold up in a one-on-on fight with other low level monsters, attack in large numbers and from ambush, have a predisposition towards traps and dig big underground tunnels, they're kind of like the Viet Cong. This is probably rooted in the old story about [[Tucker's Kobolds]], and there are similarities between these two depictions. Of the various 'cannon fodder' enemies, Kobolds seem to be the most organized, and with that organization a DM has a lot of leeway to look into all the ways one can use fortifications to fuck with an attacker, and turn them upon unsuspecting players.

==Kobold Models==
Despite being a part of D&D since the very beginning, kobold tabletop models are rather rare. For the longest time, [[Reaper Miniatures]] has been pretty much the ''only'' company that made them in squad/mob size numbers, and even then the sculpts... aren't that spectacular. However, as of May 2017 Westfalia Miniatures has Kickstarted their new tabletop wargame Strongsword, and included with it are models (damn good ones, too) for an entire kobold army! What's more, in the Strongsword lore the little bastards apparently cause enough mayhem to be responsible for a conflict called (I shit you not) the [[Tucker's Kobolds|''Kobold Wars'']].

==Monstergirls==
{{Monstergirls}}
[[File:MGE Kobold.jpg|thumb|200px|right|The MGE Kobold, one of the two most iconic depictions of the kobold as a cute doggie-girl.]]
[[File:Koboldette.jpg|thumb|200px|left|The basic approach the West takes to sexy kobolds.]]

Given the popularity of kobolds, there are also a lot of people who like them In That Way. The two most popular kobold monstergirl depictions are the dogbold and the little dragonbold: Goblinoid kobolds are pretty much immune to this treatment, mostly because at that point you just end up with a monstergirl [[goblin]] and maybe a few special kinks, at which point you're usually asking yourself "why is this not just called a goblin?".

Dogbolds are mostly seen in Japanese media like [[Life With Monstergirls]] and the [[Monster Girl Encyclopedia]], where they are humanoid dogs to some degree. In the former they have small snouts instead of noses, fur covering their bodies and [[Power_Fist|massive hands]]. Polt is the only kobold seen so far, the owner of a gym and creator of the "kobolds are all hyperactive dogs who'll drag you along if you take them for walkies" stereotype. In the latter they are humans with dog-like disposion; submissive, eager to please, excitable and won't stop doing something until you tell them to.

In the west, meanwhile, the small dragon type kobold is massive bait for the [[furry]] subgroup known as scalies: those with an interested in scaled rather than furred animals. Dragons are by far the most popular animal in the group, which kobolds are a smaller version of. Humanization is rarely done because that would ruin their small dragon appeal. While in some cases they are drawn with humanoid penises or breasts, often they are depicted as they are in the books (except, you know, naked). This includes very minute sexual dimorphism, meaning that any kobold could be a [[trap]]. Often included is them having a cloaca, meaning that their pelvic region is reduced to a single nondescript opening that they piss, jizz, and crap out of (....hot?). These kobolds are often portrayed with wide, egg-laying hips in order to give them some [[shortstack]] appeal.

===Canonical Kobold Deviance===
In what has to be the weirdest of coincidences, ever since kobolds got their [[dragon]]-linked makeover in 3rd edition, there's been some really weird sexual elements snuck into their lore, although what that element is depends on the edition.

[[Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition]]: [[Races of X|Races of the Dragon]] states that kobolds go into heat and are compelled to breed, like animals, but they're also sapient beings, so they also form permanent pair-bondings. They reconcile these different facts with the statement that extra-marital sex and breeding is considered "no biggie" in kobold society, because the urge hits when it hits, and they can't control themselves when it happens, so there's no point getting jealous about it.

[[Pathfinder]]: Kobolds of [[Golarion]] has become somewhat memetically infamous for its presentation of kobold biology. Classic Monsters Revisited also established kobolds as being super-breeders, with females producing eggs throughout their lives and producing bigger and bigger clutches as they get older.

[[Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition]]: The Dungeon Survival Handbook states that kobolds worship [[dragon]]s to the extent of willingly committing suicide by feeding themselves to hungry dragons because they view it was a way to transcend their kobold natures and become one with their devourer. While they are not stated to get any ''sexual'' pleasure from this act of getting eaten, you just know that pointing as much out will fall on deaf ears with many voraphiles.

[[Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition]]: Volo's Guide to Monsters states that, like certain frogs and fish, kobolds are environmentally triggered gender-benders, switching between male and female in response to the overabundance of one gender in order to facilitate breeding. So theoretically, if you want kobolds, you just stick two kobolds in a cage and it doesn't matter what sexes they started out as, they'll become a breeding pair and start making eggs soon enough.

==Gallery==
===Cutebolds===
<center>
<gallery>
File:Koboldthief.png
File:Id give you the moon.gif|If you should want the moon, and the stars that shine...
File:Grifli.gif|There's no word in kobold for "[[just as planned|keikaku]]".
File:Koboldhouse.gif|[[Kobold Camp]] now with 3D rendering.
File:Loveakobold.gif|Love can bloom under a battlefield.
Image:Cutebold_fantasies.jpg|Someone's got a widdle crush!
File:CuteboldMindflayer.jpg|No one messes with a [[Illithid|Mindflayer]]
</gallery>
</center>

===D&D Kobolds through the ages===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Original_Kobold.png|The very first kobold in D&D, the foundation of them all.
Image:Goblinoid_Kobold.jpg|The one time when "goblin" and "kobold" became interchangeable.
Image:DiTerlizzi_Kobold.jpg|The iconic AD&D Kobold artwork; you can actually see similarities to 3e if you squint.
Image:3e_Kobold.jpg|The definitive species change-over.
Image:4e_Kobolds.jpg
Image:4e_Kobolds_2.jpg
Image:5e_Kobold.jpg|New swolbolds, the pinnacle of kobold design!
Image:Pathfinder_Kobold.jpg|Pathfinder did buff kobolds first.
Image:Pathfinder_Kobold_Warrior.jpg
Image:Pathfinder_Kobold_Shaman.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

===Western-style Monstergirls===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Koboldette_2.jpg|Now in flat-chested variety.
Image:Kobold_Maiden.jpg
Image:Kobold_Maiden_2.jpg
Image:Embarrassed_Kobold.png|Some kobold-gals are very shy about being approached by human adventurers.
Image:Presenting_Kobold.png|Others, not so much.
Image:Then_and_now_1.png|Kobolds have changed a lot over the years.
Image:Nubile_Kobold_Savage.jpg
Image:Kobold_Worker.png
Image:Kobold_Traveler.jpg
Image:Kobold_Warrior.jpg
Image:Kobold_Dancer.png
Image:Kobold_White_Mage.jpg
Image:Kobold_Wizard_1.png
Image:Kobold_Wizard_2.jpg
File:Feathered Aztec Kobold Spirit Shaman.png
Image:Koboldwater.jpg
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Tucker's Kobolds]]
*[[Kobold Camp]]
*[[Kobolds Ate My Baby!]]
*[[Unified Setting/Kobolds]]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80BWVkKd_Cw The cutebold theme]

[[Category:Dragons]]

Catfight: Tactics

2020-02-07T20:49:18Z

2601:203:480:4C60:B909:A93B:6A2B:B07C: Undo revision 634552 by 204.29.111.23 (talk) You tickle me with your pranks.

{{Stub}}
'''Catfight Tactics''' is a game of catfights and tactics tentatively set in an Escape from New York style women's prison located on a post-icecap-melt Florida Island. It involves creating small squads of characters using a point buy system. It is playable, but far from complete.

The latest version of the rules will always be on the game's [http://cftactics.blogspot.com blog].

Werehyena

2020-02-07T19:31:50Z

2601:203:480:4C60:B909:A93B:6A2B:B07C: Undo revision 634357 by 204.29.111.23 (talk) My life is so much better because of you.

'''Werehyenas''' are a strain of [[therianthrope]] native to the [[Al-Qadim]] region of the [[Forgotten Realms]], a trait they share with the [[werelion]]. Werehyenas are humans, usually male, who can transform themselves into hyenalike forms. Their packs roam the plains and deserts of Zakhara looking for prey.

The human form tends to be tall and sinewy, with long, shaggy hair usually tied back over their neck. The long hair conceals a second mouth at the base of the head, which mimics the lip movements of the primary mouth but makes no sound. They take great pains to keep this second mouth hidden. In their human forms, werehyenas tend to be gregarious and charismatic, many possessing a loud, resounding laugh.

The canine form appears to be a large hyena, over 6’ long from snout to tail, with golden fur on its back and black fur on its belly and feet. While in this form, they can pass without trace.

It is not uncommon for a pack of these creatures to be followed by 2-12 normal hyenas. The normal hyenas are attracted to the lycanthropes, although not under their direct control.

Werehyenas travel in close-knit packs of up to a dozen creatures, most of whom are males. The pack is run by a dominant male, who makes all important decisions, reinforcing them with an occasional, savage bite. Newly infected lycanthropes are welcomed into a pack only if the newcomer agrees to accept the pack leader’s orders to the death. If not, a fight for dominance usually ensues, with the victor becoming the new pack leader.

Among themselves, they can be playful and capable of lasting intimacy. They mate for life, but only with other members of the pack. From one to four cubs are born with each litter; 75% of them are male.

Werehyena packs scour the desert and plains in human form, seeking human settlements to infiltrate. A favorite ploy is for a single lycanthrope to enter a town or village and use its friends ability to win its way into the hearts of the people. Some are even known to shower gifts on “a long-forgotten sister” or relative. The gifts are typically small gems which it gathers for this purpose. The lycanthrope then lures the victim out of town to a trap, where the rest of the pack lies in wait.

Werehyenas are covert hunters, preying on gullible humans whenever possible. However, like their normal cousins, they are excellent scavengers, capable of eating just about anything in order to survive. Although their numbers are great, they are too widely scattered to have any profound effect upon the ecology of Zakhara.

In its human form, a werehyena will attack with a weapon appropriate for its assumed identity. However, in this form, a werehyena’s best weapon is its charming personality, which it uses to gain others’ confidence. Once per round, at will, a werehyena can bring into effect a friends spell (assume that it has a Charisma of 14-15 before the spell is cast) as if the spell were cast by a 12th-level wizard. This spell-like ability is not memorized or learned; it comes naturally to the creature and is triggered by thought.

In its hyena form, a werehyena attacks with its vicious bite, which inflicts 2-12 points of damage. On a natural attack roll of 19 or 20, the werehyena has locked its jaws on a victim. This has two effects: first, the victim will be automatically subject to damage from a bite attack on subsequent rounds (no further attack rolls needed for the werehyena); second, the weight of the creature will slow the victim down, reducing his or her movement rate by 6 (cumulative). After it has locked its jaws on a victim, a werehyena will release its bite only after suffering more than 10 points of damage.

In either of its forms, a werehyena can only be affected by magical or iron weapons. Other types of weapons initially appear to inflict damage, but the wound closes by the end of the round. Werehyenas are immune to enchantment/charm spells.

All werehyenas have a primal fear of fire, preferring to make appearances and attacks during the day. A flaming torch is enough to keep one at bay; over six points of fire damage will send one howling off into the wilderness. If cornered by fire, however, they will fight to defend themselves.

In Dragon Magazine #89, the '''Ghuuna''', a race of [[gnoll]] werehyenas, were introduced. They have since been forgotten.

[[Category: Dungeons & Dragons]] [[Category: Monsters]] [[Category: Forgotten Realms]] [[Category:Therianthropes]]

Codex-Squats 8th Edition

2020-02-07T19:31:03Z

2601:203:480:4C60:B909:A93B:6A2B:B07C: Undo revision 634356 by 204.29.111.23 (talk) Nothing could be more clever.

===Wild Keyword <League>===

All Squat forces belong to a certain <'''League'''>, from the prosperous and isolationist League of Thor, to the imperially aligned League of Norgyr.

Known Leagues

*Thor
*Kapellar
*Emberg
*Grindel
*Norgyr
*Demiurg

===Special Rules===
'''Hate:''' The squats have fought many long and bitter war against orks and tyranids. In the combat phase, squads can reroll hit rolls of 1 against models with the <ORKS> and <TYRANIDS> keywords.

===Wargear List===

'''Laser Weapons:''' Laser weapons or las weapons is a name given to all Imperial and some subhuman and alien laser based weapons. Las weapons are cheap, easy to maintain and are some of the most reliable weapons. They are issued in vast numbers to the squats in the form of the lasgun.

*'''Laspistol''' Type: Pistol 1, Range: 12", Strength: 3, AP: 0, Damage: 1, Special: -

*'''Lasgun''' Type: Rapid Fire 1, Range: 24", Strength: 3, AP: 0, Damage: 1, Special: -

*'''Multilaser''' Type: Heavy 3, Range: 36", Strength: 6, AP: 0, Damage: 1, Special: -

*'''Mining Laser''' Type: Heavy 1, Range: 24", Strength: 9, AP: -3, Damage: D3, Special: -

*'''Lascannon''' Type: Heavy 1, Range: 48", Strength: 9, AP: -3, Damage: D3, Special: -

'''Coil Weapons:''' Squats have long worked and experimented with magnetism, a useful science to invest oneself into when one works with metal and electricity so frequently. Whereas the Tau's experiments into magnetic projectiles lead them down the path of railguns, the Squats wanted a weapon less temperamental, finding that the swift process of wearing that Railguns undergo made them undesirable. The coil gun, which operates under similar principles if different methods; proved to be more to their liking. Very capable of penetrating through armor, though their small projectile size meant that they impart little of their kinetic energy into a target, though it also means that they have rather manageable recoil, easily allowing the stout squats to fire them on the move.

*'''Coil Pistol''' Type: Pistol 1, Range: 18", Strength: 4, AP: -3, Damage: 1, Special: On a to-wound roll of six, this weapon deals 2 damage rather than 1. Additionally, it may re-roll to-wound rolls against vehicles.

*'''Coil Repeater''' Type: Assault 2, Range: 36", Strength: 5, AP: -3, Damage: 2, Special: On a to-wound roll of six, this weapon deals 4 damage rather than 2. Additionally, it may re-roll to-wound rolls against vehicles.

*'''Coil Cannon''' Type: Heavy 1, Range: 72", Strength: 6, AP: -3, Damage: 3, Special: On a to-wound roll of six, this weapon deals 6 damage rather than 3. Additionally, it may re-roll to-wound rolls against vehicles.

'''Shot Weapons:''' Squats do regularly use simple ballistic weapons like other more primitive races do, however their mastery of metals allows them to use materials much more exotic than lead or copper for their projectiles. Their standard military armament incorporates weapons that fire high-density buckshot at their opponent with a high degree of short range stopping power yet little risk of collateral damage to starship internals or cavern walls.

*'''Shot Pistol''' Type: Pistol 1, Range: 12", Strength: 4, AP: -0, Damage: 1, Special: When this weapon is firing at a target within half range, add +1 to this weapons Strength. Additionally, while this weapon is firing at a target within half range, each successful to-hit roll inflicts 2 hits rather than 1.

*'''Shot Rifle''' Type: Assault 2, Range: 18", Strength: 4, AP: -0, Damage: 1, Special: When this weapon is firing at a target within half range, add +1 to this weapons Strength. Additionally, while this weapon is firing at a target within half range, each successful to-hit roll inflicts 2 hits rather than 1.

*'''Auto-Shot Rifle''' Type: Assault 3, Range: 18", Strength: 4, AP: -0, Damage: 1, Special: When this weapon is firing at a target within half range, add +1 to this weapons Strength. Additionally, while this weapon is firing at a target within half range, each successful to-hit roll inflicts 2 hits rather than 1.

*'''Shot Cannon''' Type: Heavy 4, Range: 24", Strength: 6, AP: -0, Damage: 1, Special: When this weapon is firing at a target within half range, add +1 to this weapons Strength. Additionally, while this weapon is firing at a target within half range, each successful to-hit roll inflicts 2 hits rather than 1.

'''Seismic Weapons:''' Seismic weapons are a type of construction equipment used by squat miners. However, it is also utilized as a weapon in some cases. The distinctive pronged muzzle of a seismic cannon sends out pulsed bow waves of sonic force that can shiver a basilica wall into rubble or turn the internal organs of living targets to mush.

*'''Seismic gun''' Type: Assault 2, Range: 18", Strength: 3, AP: 0, Damage: 1, Special:-

*'''Seismic cannon'''
<blockquote>Long-wave; Type: Heavy 4, Range: 24", Strength: 3, AP: 0, Damage: 1 Special: -
</blockquote>
<blockquote>Short-wave; Type: Heavy 2, Range: 12", Strength: 6, AP: -1, Damage: 2 Special: -
</blockquote>

'''Fusion Projectors''' Fusion Projectors are remarkable flame based weapons that are both more elegant and potent than the flamers wielded by the other species of the galaxy. They can be used to incinerate a swath of targets like a regular flamer or focus their jet into a searing cutting arc. Fusion Projectors come in five sizes of both increasing power and energy consumption. Wielders of such weapons can choose to fire one of two profiles.

*'''Light Fusion Projector (Dispersed Profile):''' Type: Pistol D6, Range: 8", Strength: 3, AP: -1, Damage: 1, Special: This weapon automatically hits.
*'''Light Fusion Projector (Focused Profile):''' Type: Pistol 1, Range: 8", Strength: 6, AP: -4, Damage: D6, Special: When this weapon is within half range, roll twice to determine damage and keep the highest.

===Units List===

'''HQ'''
*Ancestor Lord '''TBD''' 
*Ancestor Lord in Exo-Armor '''TBD''' 
*Ancestor Lord on Bike '''TBD''' 
*Squat Warlord '''TBD''' 
*Squat Warlord in Exo-Armor '''TBD''' 
*Squat Warlord on Bike '''TBD''' 
*Squat Thane '''TBD''' 
*Squat Thane in Exo-Armor '''TBD''' 
*Squat Thane on Bike '''TBD''' 
*Guild Engineer '''TBD''' 
*Guild Engineer in Exo-Armor '''TBD''' 
*Guild Engineer on Bike '''TBD''' 

'''Elite'''
*Hearthguard '''TBD''' 
*Hearthguard Bikers '''TBD''' 
*Beserkers '''TBD''' 
*Exo-Warriors '''TBD''' 
*Tremorbane Driller '''TBD''' 

'''Troops'''
*Squat Warriors '''TBD''' 
Power ____, Points Cost 7
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=left
|- valign=top
! Name !! M !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! A !! Ld !! Sv
|-
| Warriors|| 5" || 3+ || 4+ || 3 || 4 || 1 || 1 || 8 || 4+
|-
| Veteran|| 5" || 3+ || 3+ || 3 || 4 || 1 || 2 || 9 || 4+
|}

*Clanless Refugees '''TBD''' 
Power ____, Points Cost 6
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=left
|- valign=top
! Name !! M !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! A !! Ld !! Sv
|-
| Clanless|| 5" || 3+ || 4+ || 3 || 4 || 1 || 1 || 7 || 5+
|-
| Refugee Leader|| 5" || 3+ || 4+ || 3 || 4 || 1 || 2 || 8 || 5+
|}

'''Fast Attack'''
*Squat Bikers '''TBD''' 
*Squat Heavy Bikers '''TBD''' 
*Sapper Team '''TBD''' 

'''Heavy Support'''
*Thunderer Squad '''TBD''' 
*Ironhammer Tank '''TBD''' 
*Squat Land Raider '''TBD''' 
*Support Weapon Team '''TBD''' 
*Squat Land Train '''TBD''' 
*Iron Brother Walker '''TBD''' 
*Goliath Rockgrinder '''TBD''' 
*Retributer '''TBD''' 

'''Fliers'''

*Eagle Gyrocopter '''TBD''' 

'''Lord of War'''
*Praetorian '''TBD''' 
*Overlord Airship '''TBD''' 

[[Category:Warhammer Homebrew]]

Children's Card Games

2020-02-07T19:15:31Z

2601:203:480:4C60:B909:A93B:6A2B:B07C: Undo revision 634347 by 204.29.111.23 (talk) I am ROTFL!

==Introduction==
So, tg, a while back, I worked up an RPG based on Trollbabe that was essentially [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] The RPG. Now, this game isn't so much based on the card game as it is more based on the television show that's more about card games than Yugi straight up murdering people in magnificent catch 22's.

I call it Children's Card Games. Rules to follow.

==Rules==
Playing is simple Roll a single d10 and try and get above or below a number based on one you choose at character creation.

===Stats===
You have three stats Card Games, Bullshit, and Friendship.

Card Games is rolled whenever you’re playing Children’s Card Games and you’re actually playing with skills and forethought. This is the legitimate method of playing the game, usually obeying all the rules.

Bullshit is rolled whenever you’re playing Children’s Card Games and you’re playing with the game by imposing your (the player’s) will upon the rules of the card game and essentially pulling shit out of your ass.

Friendship is rolled whenever you’re attempting to support others and doing social things or even being a friend and ally to someone.

===Character Creation and Mechanics===
When you create a Children’s Card Game character, you pick a number between 2 and 9. This number determine what happens when you roll. Say, you pick a 6 as your number. When you Roll Card Games, you try to roll ABOVE a 6. When you roll Bullshit, you try to roll your d10 and get a result BELOW 6. When rolling Friendship you roll the better of the two, meaning that you would want to roll BELOW a 6 in this case. As another example, if your number is 3, you try to roll ABOVE a 3 for Card Games, BELOW a 3 for Bullshit, and ABOVE a 3 for Friendship.

The second step is to choose a specialty for each of your stats. These specialties add a little flair, giving your character some style. They also have the benefit of allowing you to use your number for the roll and count it as a beneficial result. If your number is 7 and you roll a 7 on a Bullshit test and a specialty in Summoning Tricks, you get to count it as a successful roll if you’re trying to bullshit out a creature on your turn.

Finally, you decide the two things about your character and their deck. If your character was an example of a trope, what would they be The answer is your Character Shtick. What’s the central theme of your character’s deck It could be certain creature types or even a name-type of creatures like toons or Gemini creatures. The answer is your Deck Theme. These are used for two of your per game Rerolls.

===Conflicts===
When you come into conflict, either via card games or in general peril, the GM sets the stakes. These stakes are what happens if you win a conflict or lose a conflict. If you start a Children’s Card Game in the Shadow Realm, the stakes are very obvious. You lose, you get your soul stolen. You win, you get to keep your soul and the other guy loses his. Sometimes the stakes are a little less well defined. Your GM sets the stakes of your card game or other challenge and such things are decided by the roll of a single d10 with success being victory and failure meaning you have to accept the loss.

If a conflict calls for playing by the rules or physical challenges, roll Card Games. If a conflict calls for a character playing dirty or calling into question their cleverness, then roll Bullshit. If a conflict calls for someone relying on their friends or being social somehow, whether with diplomacy or subterfuge, roll Friendship.

Playing a card game is a special case, going by a turn by turn basis. It starts with the players rolling Card Games to determine who has the Advantage. The winner starts off with one Advantage box marked. If both players succeed, then the one who rolled the highest wins. If the tie persists, then neither of them get the Advantage.

Players go turn by turn with the one that scored Advantage going first, describing actions and each player gets one roll using either Bullshit or Card Games. If they succeed, then their action goes off and they mark of an Advantage box. If the player fails, then their action is somehow spoiled and they clear off a marked off Advantage box. When you mark off all 5 Advantage boxes, you can go for the final roll which lets you mark off the Victory box. At that point, you either succeed or fail and accept the consequences of the conflict.

===Rerolls===
If you’d fail a roll, you can always mark off a reroll box. You have five specific boxes, one based on your Character Shtick, one on your Deck Theme, and three that refer to A Lucky Draw, A Remembered Combo, and Fucking Dumb Luck. One can apply each Reroll to all three stats, depending on how you, spin it. A Friendship reroll based on A Lucky Draw means you could have hit upon someone’s social soft spot and made some headway.

Keep in mind You may attempt to reroll a single failed action up to THREE TIMES. If you fail the reroll once you become injured or at a disadvantage and if you choose not to take a second reroll, your goal remains unaccomplished. If you succeed, the GM describes your success. If you fail a second reroll in a row, they you do not meet your goal and you become incapacitated in some way and you have the option of trying to make a third and final reroll. If you fail this last reroll the GM describes your epic failure OR you describe your character's death. Success on this final allows the player to describe your failure but the goal is not achieved.

===Injury===
If you would fail a reroll, and you take no other rerolls, you accept an injury of some type. If you fail the first one, the injury is minor and disappears at the end of a scene. In a physical capacity, this means you're brusied and lightly scraped, mental injuries are often inflicted fear or being stunned temporarily, while social injuries are temporarily damaged friendships. Failed second rerolls are much harsher and slightly debilitating. Physical injuries include broken limbs and unconsciousness, Mental injuries are often bouts of madness, and social injuries include almost friendship ending arguments. Failed third rerolls often have heavy fates. Physical injuries from these fates include near death experiences and permanently crippled limbs, mental ones include long lasting madness and catatonia, and social injuries of this magnitude result in even the best of friends becoming bitter enemies.

Initial injuries recover after a scene, while second reroll related ones heal after a story is completed. Third failed reroll injuries often last for a long series of stories, if not for the rest of your character's life.

===The Pre-Game===
After outlining your character's Shtick and their deck's theme, you should work out the cards your deck is filled out with. A deck has 60 cards in it with three types of cards Creature, Spell, and Trap cards. Creature cards are beasts and creatures that you attack your opponents with to reduce their life point total over the course of the narrative of the duel. Spell cards have unusual effects and can do things that creatures cannot do. Trap cards have specific triggers and when they are triggered, their effects activate. Such tricky cards are placed face down.

Roll a d10 + Your Number and detail that many cards in your deck. You can have multiples of a card (Up to four) as you round out your decklist. You have the option of leaving some cards a mystery, and figuring them out when you need to with a successful Bullshit roll in play or giving them effects when you've got some downtime.

If you so desire, you may detail your relationships with the other players, designating them as best friends, rivals, the one guy you secretly hate, or even your secret crush. Discuss these relationships with your fellow players and GM to better flesh things out. If you have trouble deciding things, ask what the other player characters would think about your character and if they had any history together. if you decide on it, you can also detail NPCs that your character would know and can play a part in the game.

[[Category:Roleplaying]]
[[Category:Homebrew Rules]]

Category:Stories

2020-02-07T19:12:38Z

2601:203:480:4C60:B909:A93B:6A2B:B07C: Undo revision 634344 by 204.29.111.23 (talk) You are absolutely hilarious! I love you so much!

Various pieces of writefaggotry by members of /tg/.

[[File:Storytime.jpg]]
[[Category:Categories]]

Egypt

2020-02-07T14:01:20Z

2601:203:480:4C60:B909:A93B:6A2B:B07C: /* Egyptian Gods, Mythology and Religion */

{{stub}}
[[image:Stock-photo-view-of-the-pyramids-near.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Land of sand and epic architecture.]]
'''Egypt''' is a region of Africa that is home to one of the oldest known civilizations in the world. The ancient Egyptians are best remembered for their intricate beliefs about the importance of the afterlife, which led to their creation of the pyramid (a square-based triangular tomb of stone) and the [[mummy]] (a bandaged corpse specially prepared to last for eternity). They are generally the only African culture that the mass majority of people ''outside'' of Africa is actually aware of, which can at least be partly blamed on its presence in the Bible and the "Egyptology" craze that hit the US in the mid-1900s. Most people categorize it as a Middle-Eastern area due to the sand and the political influence of modern day Egypt, but most of its famous points are west of the Red Sea. Most North African nations tend to be closer to the Middle East culturally than sub-Saharan Africa, mostly due to that giant deadly obstacle known as the Sahara Desert; that being said, Egypt in particular did have some cultural connections to the South via the Nile starting way up in Lake Victoria in Tanzania.

As one of the earliest civilizations, the genetic makeup of their civilization and particularly their ruling classes are of [[Skub|great interest]] to those studying them. Despite being located in Africa, Egypt was not always a solely african civilization; the pharaohs of the Ptolemaic dynasty in particular were outright Greeks who, with the exception of Cleopatra, didn't speak the local language. Earlier mummies have been found with blonde and red hair, as well as non-African DNA. This is likely the result of constant campaigns by other civilizations into the continent early in the country's history, which would naturally require passage through Egypt, thus further emphasizing its importance in African history. It is worth mentioning that ascribing "whiteness" or "blackness" to ancient Egyptians is now considered anachronistic since they were a diverse admixture of many skin tones (the further "up"/south you went, the more "black" the people would be, and vice versa).

While it is usually [[Bronze Age]] Egypt that we are interested in, Egypt's strategic location helped it maintain relevancy on the world stage long after its golden age in the ancient world. Many empires wanted a piece of that Egyptian action, including the Persians, Hittites, Greeks, Romans, Ottomans, French, British, etc. to name a few. And during the times that it was independent, Egypt set itself apart from its contemporaries, such as when the Mamluk slave-soldiers eventually became the rulers of medieval Egypt, and successfully resisted the goddamn [[Mongols]].

Due to their cultural association with the afterlife, fictional portrayals of Egypt, or any fantasy equivalents thereof, will focus heavily on the [[undead]] and/or some means of attaining immortality (vis a vis mummification). The pyramids and the value of their tombs' contents - both in the sense of uncovering details about their culture throughout various era and in the sense of actual monetary value - tended to overlap with this, and both were ideal fodder for many an aspiring writer/director/what have you. Adventure movies, pulp novels, [[:/co/|comic book]]s - whatever the medium, the raiding of Egyptian tombs for treasures and the curses triggered by such robbery became fictional staples.

In fantasy games, Egypt is generally portrayed as a hyper-religious dustbowl (ignoring that the civilization itself was actually centered around the enormous Nile River, which creates fertile land for them to farm) ruled over by grim and sinister priests, with ancient ruins half-buried in the desert full of [[ghost]]s, mummies and curses, and all manner of nasty desert beasts running around, most prominently various flavors of snake, scorpion and crocodile.

==Egyptian History==

Being one of the first known human civilizations, it's a given that Egypt would have a fuckton of history under it's belt. It can be roughly divided into periods of stability with "intermediate" periods between them. It roughly spans from 5300 B.C to 30 B.C, though the periods most focused on in media are the ones on the either extreme of the timeline - the Old Kingdom and the Ptolemaic Egypt.

*'''Predynastic Period''' (~5300-3000 B.C) - Your typical "cave-men" period. The various tribes that settled the Nile valley initially forage for bountiful food growing on the banks before moving gradually to agriculture. There exist a number of "cultures" but no true polity as of yet.

*'''Early Dynastic Period''' (3000-2600 B.C) - After a struggle against the king of Naqada, the Scorpion King (alternatively known as Menes/Narmer) became the unifier of Upper and Lower Egypts. of note is that the aristocracy and nobility began to entomb themselves into mastabas which would later evolve into the pyramids we all know and love. Spans the 1.-2. dynasty.

*'''The Old Kingdom''' (2600-2100 B.C) - The formerly independent egyptian states become "Nomes" - administrative units under the authority of the Pharaoh. The period was marked by increase in administrative and overall civilizational sophistication which was necessary to construct the first pyramids which were essentially generational mega-projects (built by contract workers, not slaves). The famous Giza Pyramid Complex was erected during the old kingdom. This period was so awesome that the Egyptians from the New Kingdom (about a thousand years later) regarded it as a time of wonder and mystery. The worship of the Sun really took of and Ra was the most popular/powerful god in this era. A general decline began when the Nomarchs (nome governors) began getting uppity and this combined with an anomalous low level of Nile in 2200 B.C led to the dissolution of the kingdom and ushered the next period of fractured fiefdoms. Spans the 3.-6. Dynasty.

*'''The First Intermediate Period''' (2181-2055 B.C) - A period of obscure history and pharaohs spanning some 200 years when the Pharaoh was but a local ruler. It is telling how most documents found in these era are called "lamentations" and describe the dissolution of the Old Kingdom and the invasion of foreigners into egypt. Many of the tombs of the Old Kingdom were looted during this period. Basically the Age of Strife for ancient Egypt. Spans 6.-10./11. Dynasties.

*'''The Middle Kingdom''' (2055-1650 B.C) - Though Egypt stabilised under the rule of pharaohs tracing their ancestry form the nome of Thebes, warfare between the two rival dynasties of Thebes and Heracleopolis continued for some time. The two major dynasties: twelfth and thirteenth returned much splendor to Egypt, but were also embroiled in frequent conflict and conquest of the surrounding lands. During the twelfth dynasty the pharaoh Amenemhat III invited some settlers from Mesopotamia which would eventually conquer Egypt and take power as the Hyksos. Here too, the low levels of Nile contributed to the decline of the Middle Kingdom into the Second Intermediate period. Spans the 11.-13. Dynasty.

*'''The Second Intermediate Period''' (1650-1550 B.C) - A relatively brief period, lasting "only" 100 years when Egypt was ruled by the foreign Hyksos. The weak thirteenth dynasty was unable to maintain it's holdings and prevent the Hyksos incursion. They established the fifteenth dynasty, led by Salitis who established his capital at Memphis. Sometime late,r a native egyptian house established the rival sixteenth dynasty at Thebes which, after a brief conquest and tributeship rose up as the seventeenth dynasty and drove the Hyksos out of egypt, establishing the New Kingdom. Spans the 14.-17. Dynasty.

*'''The New Kingdom''' (1550-1069 B.C) - Egypt one again achieved great splendor and power during the reign of the eighteenth dynasty. The pharaoh Hatshepsut (a rare female pharaoh) expanded egyptian trade northward and southward and ruled for two decades thanks to her political skill and widespread state propaganda. Her successor Thutmose III expanded and improved the egyptian army. Of special note is also the nineteenth dynasty pharaoh Amenhotep IV, better known as Akhenaten who founded perhaps the first monotheistic religion. This didn't catch on for long and after his death and a couple of less notable pharaohs came Ramesses II during who's reign Egypt's New Kingdom reached it's zenith. The Abu Simbel complex was constructed during his reign and he won a decisive victory against the Hittites thus securing the hold Judea/Palestine all up to Levant. After that, the last "great pharaoh" was Ramesses III who successfully fought off the "Sea Peoples" who were ravaging the eastern Mediterranean and are now though to have greatly contributed to the so called 'Late Bronze Age Collapse' of major civilizations such as Mycenaeans, Hittites and Babylonians. Sadly the same wars also drained Egypt's treasury and strained it's resources to such a degree that it's power began to wane and this coupled with Ramesses's squabbling heirs pushed Egypt into the Third Intermediate Period. Spans 18.-21. dynasties.

*'''The Third Intermediate Period''' (1069-664 B.C) - The period is, as previous intermediate periods, characterised by decline and political instability of Egypt, only this time within the context of the larger Late Bronze Age collapse of civilizations in the Near East and Eastern Mediterranean. It was marked by division of the state for much of the period and conquest and rule by foreigners. If you want to draw a line as to when ancient Egypt truly started to decline, this is a good place as many pharaohs were either non-egyptian or were murdered and eventually the country was conquered outright by the Persians. Spans 22.-25. dynasty.

*'''The Late Period''' (664-332. B.C) - Egypt was coming under ever increasing attacks form the nation on it's eastern borders. At first however, the Assyrians barged into Egypt and expelled the then ruling Nubians, establishing an egyptian Psamtik I as a client-ruler under them. His twenty-sixth dynasty established a brief period of stability, lasting some 54 years, only for it to abruptly end with the babylonian emperor Nebuchadnezzar II invading Egypt in 567. B.C and the Persians finally conquering Egypt wholly in 525. B.C. Spans 26.-31. dynasty.

*'''The Ptolemaic Period''' (332.-30. B.C) - After being under the heel of Persia for some 120 years, Egypt was conquered again by Alexander the Great, who incorporated it into his huge empire. After his death however, his empire fell into a succession crisis and Egypt was awarded to Ptolemy, a general of Alexander who was to rule it as one of the four regent-kings until ALexander's son was of age. He quickly said ''screw that'' and established himself as an independent ruler. He founded the Ptolemaic Dynasty which ruled Egypt for the next 300 years. The Ptolemaic pharaohs embraced many of the egyptian customs while promoting many hellenistic ones as well, making this late EGypt a curious blend of both. Eventually, it was conquered by Rome, with it's last ruler - Cleopatra killing herself rather than being captured and sent to Rome in chains. Spans Argead-Ptolemaic dynasty.

While Egyptian culture wasn't completely subsumed by the combined greco-roman one and continued to exist as the province of Aegyptus, it would never again recapture it's glory or status as an autonomous culture. After the decline of the Roman empire, Egypt would find itself under a number of different islamic polities and today, only the Kopts hold some deeper connection to ancient Egyptians.

==Ancient Egyptian Magic==
Perhaps a lesser known aspect of ancient egyptian culture was it's magic. The chief god of magic/vital force (ka) was Heka.

Egyptian magic differs form more known systems by placing great emphasis on texts and speech (basically a sophisticated incantation magic). Much of the "religious/state" magic performed by priests was focused on maintaining the stability of the natural order and pleasing the gods.

A major aspect of egyptian magic also dealt with the dead, their interment and the protection for heir tombs. This aspect is often the most accentuated one when dealing with egyptian magic in various media, often making ancient egyptians seem like a society of necromancers, though in reality, a dead person coming back to life as a mummy would be a thing of horror to most ancient egyptians.

Another great aspect of egyptian magic were amulets, lucky charms and talismans. These had a variety of uses, but mostly focused on providing good health, luck in various endeavors and protection form curses and evil spirits.

Lastly, there is the famous 'Book of the Dead'. The name is misleading since there existed no standard codification and each book was written for a specific individuals. They all however contained useful spells and instructions which were meant to help the deceased find their way through the gamut of egyptian afterlife into paradise.

==Egyptian Gods, Mythology and Religion==

Ancient Egypt developed an immensely sophisticated religion and mythology, rivaling that of Greece, China or Mesoamerican civilisations.

To ancient Egyptians, their gods were the very personifications of natural and social phenomena, not mere metaphors, and pleasing them was thought to bring great boon as well as great misfortune should they be angered. The primary conduit to the gods, the supreme priest and a god in his own right was naturally the Pharaoh, who was an intermediary between his/her people and the gods. Pharaohs had the duty to sustain the gods through rituals and offerings so that they could maintain 'Ma'at' - the order of the cosmos. Ma'at was very, very important as it was THE proper order of everything, without which chaos and evil would consume the world.

Ordinary Egyptians too could interact with the gods on a more personal level, most often in temples which were public institutions that were obliged to offer religious and other services 24/7. Temples also offered medical and educational services as well, but to our knowledge, the promulgation of religious knowledge was done within the priestly class while common folk would get by from what they heard form them or what was passed form mouth to mouth. Of note is the fact that Egyptian religion, like many ancient ones was never exactly codified by any central religious authority, despite them having something of the kind in Pharaoh, so many egyptian myths and religious practices often had conflicting or syncretic aspects to them.

As for the gods themselves, there are many, and a number of them are synonymous with one another (such as Bast(et)/Sekhmet). However, the most important ones are:

*'''Geb & Nut''' - The personified Earth and Heaven. They arose form the primordial Chaos as the first beings. They had five children who became the major gods of the egyptian pantheon.

*'''Ra''' - The god of the Sun and the first pharaoh. He would sail in his golden barge across the sky every day and descend into the underworld by night where he would fight various demons and monsters. With the passage of time he supposedly became old and stopped giving a f*ck so Osiris had to step in as the next sun god.

*'''Osiris''' - Son of Geb and Nut (the Earth and the Heaven), stepped in to fill the sun god role when Ra got tired of it. He taught humanity farming and created the first cities in Egypt. His brother Set tricked him by closing him into a godles sarcophagus and dividing in into several pieces. His wife Isis resurrected him by tying the pieces with cloth (hence the first mummy) but he came back only partially alive, so he became the god of underworld.

*'''Isis''' - Osiris's wife and the goddess of magic. Was fiercely intelligent and cunning, managing to trick Ra into abdicating the throne by poisoning, curing him by making him tell her his secret name and then using that to get Osiris as the new sun god. Mother of Horus and wife of Osiris.

*'''Set''' - The god of the desert, storms and evil. He was one of the most powerful gods and after tricking his brother Osiris, he usurped the throne of Egypt until Osiris's son Horus curbstomped him. Apparently he wasn't always a massive duche as he once sailed with Ra and helped him in battling the horrors of the underworld.

*'''Horus''' - Son of Osiris and Isis, also known as the Avenger. He avenged his father by defeating Set and thus became the new pharaoh of Egypt, and all the subsequent (human) pharaohs drew their lineage directly form Horus.

*'''Bastet''' - Cat-goddess of cats, health, joy, festivities and sex (so the best goddess). She was often looked to for protection and *khm* procreation. Also was beseeched for good luck and as a defense against evil. Fought with her father Ra in the underworld and led the souls of the deceased through it as a side-gig. Had her center in Bubastis where orgies and merriment were held annually.

*'''Sekhmet''' - Deciding that having one cat-girl/furry goddess wasn't awesome enough, there was also Sekhmet. A lion-headed goddess of war, she was the fiercest hunter in all of Egypt and her breath was so powerful that it formed the desert. She also protected the pharaohs during battle and if they fell in battle, she would carry them like a valkyrie into the afterlife.

*'''Anubis''' - God of funerals and thus one of the most important one by function. He helped prepare the souls of the dead for the afterlife and even helped Isis in bringing Osiris back to life. Responsible for Jackals being sacred along with Cats in Egypt. He is also widely considered the sexiest of all gods by [[Furry|furries]], rivalled only by Sobek and Bastet.

*'''Thoth''' - God of knowledge, writing and the moon. Either self-born or created from Horus jizzing on Set's forehead (yeah...). As the son of these two deities who represented order and chaos, he was also the god of equilibrium and balance and associated closely with both the principle of Ma'at. Thoth presided over the judgment of the dead with Osiris in the Hall of the Truth, and those souls who feared they might not pass through the judgment safely were encouraged to call upon Thoth for help.

*'''Sobek''' - God of the Nile crocodiles. Would alternate between being an highly aggressive deity and a supremely benevolent one.

Egypt as a culture is also associated with Judaism & Christianity as well, making it probably a unique case in history where an entire CULTURE is a thing of someone else's religion. In Judaism and Christianity, Egypt is the setting of The Exodus. Exactly ''when'' this was supposed to have occurred in unclear and disputed by modern historians.

In Christianity, Egypt is not as relevant except in the Gospel of Matthew where an angel tells Joseph to flee with his family to Egypt from Herod. Aside form that, the Copts are one of the oldest Christian denominations in the world, owing to Egypt's proximity to Judea and the resulting early conversion to Christianity.

==Pyramids==
The most iconic aesthetic element of Egypt is, of course, the great stone pyramids. Everybody recognizes these things instantly. They're technically not unique to Egypt, but what is unique is them being built smooth-sided and to a pointed capstone; South American pyramids were flat-topped staircase-flanked temple-complexes. Much like with [[Gladiator]]s, there's a few things about the pyramids that people tend to assume, especially in older fantasy settings, but which aren't actually true. The primary thing is that the pyramids were built with [[slavery|slave labor]]... in fact, this isn't actually the case. The pyramids were built outside of the growing season, by farmers and laborers from the countryside who otherwise had no work, and they were ''paid'' to do the job - some of the oldest Egyptian records are actually details on a strike by pyramid-builders demanding better wages. Still, the idea persists, especially in [[Sword & Sorcery]] or [[Dark Fantasy]] settings, because the image of legions of abused slaves dragging massive stone blocks around whilst people crack whips is a natural fit for darker and edgier fantasy.

==Fantasy Egypts==
* Mulhorand & Unther: Two declined nations in the [[Forgotten Realms]] setting of [[Dungeons & Dragons]], based on the fact Egypt was actually divided into the separate kingdoms of Upper Egypt and Lower Egypt for most of its history. Also, at least one ethnicity in the Forgotten Realms descends from Earthly ancient Egyptians who were summoned by evil wizards to be a slave race, but fought their way to independence.
* The Amber Wastes: A Cluster in the [[Demiplane of Dread]] based around Egypt.
* Nithia: The Egypt region of [[Mystara]] and the [[Hollow World]].
* Osiron: The Egypt region of [[Golarion]]
* [[Nehekhara]]: The Egyptian region of the [[Warhammer Fantasy]] world, inhabited solely by [[Tomb Kings|sapient mummy kings]] ruling over huge armies of mindless [[skeleton]] warriors because [[Nagash|an insane necromancer with aspirations of godhood]] used an epic level spell to extinguish all life in the country and then raise it as undead.
* [[Amonkhet]]: The Egyptian [[plane]] for [[Magic: The Gathering]]. Civilization consists of a single mega-city in a great [[zombie]]-infested desert, where the occupants spend their entire lives training in [[magic]] and martial arts, as well as pumping out kids, before undertaking a "sacred rite" that sees the entire generation slaughtered in ritual combat to be transformed into uber-[[mummy]] warriors. Those who died in the trials leading up to this rite are instead turned into the army of [[mummy]] laborers who handle all of the work, like producing food and rearing the children.

==Egyptian Monsters==
* [[Mummies]]
** Other [[undead]] by proxy including [[skeleton]]s and [[zombie]]s
* [[Sphinx]]es
* [[Serpentfolk]]
* [[Girtablilu]]
* [[Golem]]s
* [[Werebaboon]]s
* [[Werecobra]]s
* [[Werecrocodile]]s
* [[Werehyena]]s
* [[Werejackal]]s
* [[Genie]]s
* [[Gnoll]]s

[[Category: History]]