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Bloody Path

2020-08-02T19:52:03Z

2601:203:480:4C60:F545:7283:9535:42B6:

{{WTF}}
{{Fail}}
[[Image:Durrclang.jpg|thumb|right|Bloody Path in all of its glory]][[Image:Rage-c.jpg|thumb|right|Although not specifically mentioned in the description, the ability also causes [[RAGE]] in all creatures with the [[Neckbeard]] subtype.]][[Image:Beholder durrclang.JPG|thumb|right|OM NOM NOM WHAT]]
'''Bloody Path''', or as it is popularly known, '''[[Derp|DURR]]... [[CLANG!]]''' is a 15th level [[Rogue]] power in [[4e]] [[Dungeons & Dragons]]. It has drawn a lot of criticism because of the odd way the mechanic works and the very undescriptive fluff, making it extremely unclear how exactly the character is meant to be causing the effects described by the ability. The power effectively forces every enemy the rogue runs past during his movement to make a basic melee attack against itself.

Ignoring situations where this is physically impossible (such as a triceratops impaling itself), many argue that the targets of the ability are in fact attempting to attack the rogue, but the rogue is cunningly parrying and otherwise redirecting their attacks as he travels so they instead strike themselves. Others argue that this makes just as little sense as the original fluff, since enemies with better attack bonuses (who could hence be assumed to be more skilled in combat) are actually more likely to hit themselves. It also raises the question as to how exactly a human-sized (or even smaller) character is capable of parrying or redirecting the attacks of creatures much larger than they are, such as adult dragons. A more realistic interpretation is that the Rogue draws the monster into a Looney Toons gag.

It's supposed to be the Rogue rushing into a group dodging their attacks in a way for the group members to attack each other. Except even that doesn't work because it doesn't make sense for people who are being hit by allies are, in fact, being hit by their own weapons, and that makes even less sense if there's only one person. And on top of all that, the opponents are ''forced'' to make the opportunity attack if they would hold back to avoid hurting themselves, meaning any enemy wishing to hold his OA for any other reason (say, "make an attack against a different foe later the same round") is a probably a clever munchkin (or a munchkin that co-opted the loophole from somewhere else, like here). This also clears the threatened area for any allies wishing to follow the rogue on the same round.

Judging by how the mechanic actually works, the only "logical" explanation is that the rogue is suddenly manifesting short range mind control powers and forcing every enemy he runs past to spontaneously turn stupid and then attempt to stab themselves, hence: "DURR... CLANG!"

A proposed alteration to make the ability make slightly more sense is to negate the opportunity attack of the targets and allow the rogue to make his own attack as he passes.

In the spirit of autism, here's a list of 4E monster attacks that make little to no sense with Bloody Path:

* Any basic attack that 'marks' the target
* Any creature which relies on ranged attacks. A humanoid using a sling is forced to punch themselves?
* Abomination - Atropal: Necrotizing Touch; makes itself double-undead?
* Abomination - Phane: Temporal Touch; it's already out-of-phase with time, and it somehow teleports itself away from itself?
* Bat - Fire Bat: Fiery Touch; a fire elemental burning itself?
* Beetle - any: Bite; a beetle that folds its own carapace?
* Beholder - any: Bite; how can a beach-ball fold around itself without collapsing?
* Boar - any: Gore; a boar that gets in front of itself?
* Crocodile - any: Bite; aren't their jaws like a third of their entire length?
* Dragon - Blue Dragon: Gore; would take some serious yoga, or maybe a broken spine?
* Drake - Spiretop Drake: Snatch; it steals an item from itself?
* Elemental - Firelasher: Fire Lash; how can fire burn itself?
* Elemental - Thunderblast Cyclone: Lightning Arc; how can lightning do damage by not discharging?
* Flameskull - any: Firey Bite; can you nibble on your own ear without ripping off your own jaw?
* Ghost - any: Grave/Spirit Touch; do you lose 1/7th of your health from facepalming?
* Gorgon - any: Gore: how does an armored stone-bull get in front of itself?
* Horse - any: Kick: like Gore, but this time how does a Horse get behind itself?
* Lamia - Cursed Touch: it drains health from itself to gain its own health?
* Larva Mage - Corrupting Touch: how can you rot what is already rotten?
* Lich - Lich Vestige: Death's Touch: makes itself double-dead?
* Nightmare - Hooves: its legs bend backwards somehow?
* Ooze - any: Slam: it reaches backwards into itself, accidentally imploding?
* Satyr - Satyr Piper: Gore: stops combat for a yoga session?
* Shambling Mound - any: Tendrils: hugging itself twelve times can cause a fatal blow?
* Spectre - any: Spectral Touch: makes itself double-haunted?
* Stirge - any: Bite: hugs itself and sucks its own blood?
* Unicorn - any: Hooves: wouldn't the broken leg required mean it'd need to be put down?
* Wraith - Wraith: Shadow Touch: double wraithlike now?
* Wraith - Mad Wraith: Touch of Madness: double insanity?

[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]][[Category:Gamebreaking]][[Category:RAGE]][[Category:meme]]

Category:Furry

2020-08-02T19:17:31Z

2601:203:480:4C60:F545:7283:9535:42B6:

There is some furry [[Ruby Quest|stuff]] that is [[Ironclaw|cool]].

There is some stuff we call furry because it's [[Space Wolves|funny]] to call them that.

Then there is some furry porn that people [[Horo|fap fap fap]] to.

Then there is furry shit that just [[Thri-Kreen Erotica|turns your stomach]].

If you are looking at this category then you are probably a furry yourself looking for stuff to use in your games, or [[FAPP]] to.

Tortle

2020-08-02T19:15:13Z

2601:203:480:4C60:F545:7283:9535:42B6:

[[Image:Tortle Male.jpg|thumb|400px|right|[[Recommended Web Video Channels#Puffin Forest|My name is not Oogway!]]]]

'''Tortles''' are a race of [[beastfolk|anthropomorphic turtles]] who live simple lives as peaceful farmers on the Savage Coast of [[Mystara]], a region expanded as the mini-setting of [[Red Steel]]. Though inoffensive by nature, they will fight to defend their homes and they are naturally very good at tanking. Like their fellow Red-Steel introducees the [[Aranea]], they have never managed to get any official update until 5e, in comparison to [[Rakasta]] (who became [[Catfolk]] in ''Races of the Wild'') and [[Lupins]] (who got a [[Dragon Magazine]] article about them in issue #325). Their possible connection to the [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]] remains a mystery.

Tortles in [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]] have a maximum possible value of 18 for all stats; their minimum possible ability score for Strength and Constitution is 6, whilst all others can be as low as 3. When generating their stats, they suffer -2 Dexterity but gain +1 Constitution and +1 Wisdom. For classes, they are restricted to [[Fighter]], [[Wizard]] ([[Mage]], [[Abjurer]], [[Conjurer]], [[Diviner]] or Water Elementalist only), [[Cleric]], [[Thief]], [[Bard]] or [[Psionicist]], being capable of attaining level 11, 9, 12, 9, 9 and 8 respectively, if you follow that stupid rule of race capping level limits. They can also be [[multiclassing|multiclassed]] as Fighter/Clerics. Tortle Thieves suffer a -5% penalty to their Move Silently and Hide in Shadows skills, a -20% penalty to their Climb Walls skill, and can't lift their body weight with just their arms alone.

Tortles are most notable for their powerful shells, which give them a base Armor Class of 3 -- remember, this was the edition of [[THAC0]], so lower is better -- and they can drop it down to 1 by tucking into their shells, which also gives them +4 to all saving throws and immunity to gaze attacks until they come out. Of course, they're going to rely on this; their odd body shape makes it hard to get armor made for them and it really only provides a benefit if it's naturally superior to their shell's AC. Most tortles are going to be looking out for AC-boosting enchanted items like the old standard Ring of AC +1 or Amulet of AC +2, it's just more reliable that way.

They have infravision to a range of 60 feet, automatically proficient in swimming, and can hold their breath for 10 rounds automatically.

Weirdly, tortles die within a year of mating, so only those tortles who abstain from mating live to particularly great ages and children are mostly reared by their aunts and uncles, related or adoptive. Exactly why this is so, nobody frigging knows. 5e changed it so that instead tortles don't mate until in the final years of their lives - without any particular reason as to ''why'' this is the case. So, yeah, equally stupid.

For reasons that are probably obvious, tortles went fairly underdeveloped once Red Steel faded away. They haven't gone entirely forgotten, though.

==D&D 3.5==

In [[Dragon Magazine]] #315, 3.5 stats for tortles appeared as part of the brief look at the Mystara/Red Steel combined setting, with the following statblock:
::-2 Dex, +2 Con, +2 Wis, -2 Cha
::Base land speed 20 feet, swim speed 10 feet
::Low light vision
::+3 natural armor bonus
::+8 racial bonus on Swim checks
::Racial bonus feat: Endurance
::[[Favored Class]]: [[Cleric]]
::[[Level Adjustment]]: +0

==5th Edition==

Tortles then reappeared for D&D 5th edition as part of a special charity package tie-in module released to coincide with the release of [[Tomb of Annihilation]] through the DM's Guild website. They live off the Snout of Omgar in Chult in the Forgotten Realms now. This gave Tortles the following statblock:
::+2 Str, +1 Wis
::Medium
::Base speed 30 feet
::Claws: You can choose to inflict 1d4 + Str modifier slashing damage with your unarmed strikes.
::Hold Breath: You can hold your breath for 1 hour.
::Natural Armor: Your heavy shell gives you a base AC of 17, but its peculiar shape prevents you from using any armor, except shields.
::Shell Defense: You can use an action to withdraw into your shell, gaining +4 AC and Advantage on Str and Con saving throws, at the cost of being Prone, having Speed 0, Disadvantage on Dex saving throws (because reasons? Seems like it should help against a fireball) and the inability to take reactions until you exit your shell. Indeed, you can't use any action, save for a bonus action to emerge from your shell, so long as you are using Shell Defense.
::Survival Instinct: Proficiency in the Survival skill.

{{D&D2e-Races}}

{{D&D5e-Races}}

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Tortle.jpg|left|An artist's rendition of a tortle female. [https://old.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/aqxkvy/oc_not_a_lot_of_art_for_tortle_ladies_so_behold/?st=js6wnjx4&sh=edc7e896 Source.]
</gallery>

[[Category:Monsters]] [[Category: Mystara]] [[Category:Furry]]

Tortle

2020-08-02T19:13:01Z

2601:203:480:4C60:F545:7283:9535:42B6:

[[Image:Tortle Male.jpg|thumb|400px|right|No, this is not Oogway.]]

'''Tortles''' are a race of [[beastfolk|anthropomorphic turtles]] who live simple lives as peaceful farmers on the Savage Coast of [[Mystara]], a region expanded as the mini-setting of [[Red Steel]]. Though inoffensive by nature, they will fight to defend their homes and they are naturally very good at tanking. Like their fellow Red-Steel introducees the [[Aranea]], they have never managed to get any official update until 5e, in comparison to [[Rakasta]] (who became [[Catfolk]] in ''Races of the Wild'') and [[Lupins]] (who got a [[Dragon Magazine]] article about them in issue #325). Their possible connection to the [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]] remains a mystery.

Tortles in [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]] have a maximum possible value of 18 for all stats; their minimum possible ability score for Strength and Constitution is 6, whilst all others can be as low as 3. When generating their stats, they suffer -2 Dexterity but gain +1 Constitution and +1 Wisdom. For classes, they are restricted to [[Fighter]], [[Wizard]] ([[Mage]], [[Abjurer]], [[Conjurer]], [[Diviner]] or Water Elementalist only), [[Cleric]], [[Thief]], [[Bard]] or [[Psionicist]], being capable of attaining level 11, 9, 12, 9, 9 and 8 respectively, if you follow that stupid rule of race capping level limits. They can also be [[multiclassing|multiclassed]] as Fighter/Clerics. Tortle Thieves suffer a -5% penalty to their Move Silently and Hide in Shadows skills, a -20% penalty to their Climb Walls skill, and can't lift their body weight with just their arms alone.

Tortles are most notable for their powerful shells, which give them a base Armor Class of 3 -- remember, this was the edition of [[THAC0]], so lower is better -- and they can drop it down to 1 by tucking into their shells, which also gives them +4 to all saving throws and immunity to gaze attacks until they come out. Of course, they're going to rely on this; their odd body shape makes it hard to get armor made for them and it really only provides a benefit if it's naturally superior to their shell's AC. Most tortles are going to be looking out for AC-boosting enchanted items like the old standard Ring of AC +1 or Amulet of AC +2, it's just more reliable that way.

They have infravision to a range of 60 feet, automatically proficient in swimming, and can hold their breath for 10 rounds automatically.

Weirdly, tortles die within a year of mating, so only those tortles who abstain from mating live to particularly great ages and children are mostly reared by their aunts and uncles, related or adoptive. Exactly why this is so, nobody frigging knows. 5e changed it so that instead tortles don't mate until in the final years of their lives - without any particular reason as to ''why'' this is the case. So, yeah, equally stupid.

For reasons that are probably obvious, tortles went fairly underdeveloped once Red Steel faded away. They haven't gone entirely forgotten, though.

==D&D 3.5==

In [[Dragon Magazine]] #315, 3.5 stats for tortles appeared as part of the brief look at the Mystara/Red Steel combined setting, with the following statblock:
::-2 Dex, +2 Con, +2 Wis, -2 Cha
::Base land speed 20 feet, swim speed 10 feet
::Low light vision
::+3 natural armor bonus
::+8 racial bonus on Swim checks
::Racial bonus feat: Endurance
::[[Favored Class]]: [[Cleric]]
::[[Level Adjustment]]: +0

==5th Edition==

Tortles then reappeared for D&D 5th edition as part of a special charity package tie-in module released to coincide with the release of [[Tomb of Annihilation]] through the DM's Guild website. They live off the Snout of Omgar in Chult in the Forgotten Realms now. This gave Tortles the following statblock:
::+2 Str, +1 Wis
::Medium
::Base speed 30 feet
::Claws: You can choose to inflict 1d4 + Str modifier slashing damage with your unarmed strikes.
::Hold Breath: You can hold your breath for 1 hour.
::Natural Armor: Your heavy shell gives you a base AC of 17, but its peculiar shape prevents you from using any armor, except shields.
::Shell Defense: You can use an action to withdraw into your shell, gaining +4 AC and Advantage on Str and Con saving throws, at the cost of being Prone, having Speed 0, Disadvantage on Dex saving throws (because reasons? Seems like it should help against a fireball) and the inability to take reactions until you exit your shell. Indeed, you can't use any action, save for a bonus action to emerge from your shell, so long as you are using Shell Defense.
::Survival Instinct: Proficiency in the Survival skill.

{{D&D2e-Races}}

{{D&D5e-Races}}

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Tortle.jpg|left|An artist's rendition of a tortle female. [https://old.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/aqxkvy/oc_not_a_lot_of_art_for_tortle_ladies_so_behold/?st=js6wnjx4&sh=edc7e896 Source.]
</gallery>

[[Category:Monsters]] [[Category: Mystara]] [[Category:Furry]]

Psionics Handbook

2020-08-02T15:35:01Z

2601:203:480:4C60:F545:7283:9535:42B6:

The '''Psionics Handbook''' is a [[Dungeons and Dragons]] [[Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition|Third Edition]] [[splatbook]] that adds a [[psionics]] system to that version of the game along with two new base classes (the [[Psion]] and [[Psychic Warrior]]) and four prestige classes (Metamind, Pyrokineticist, Slayer, and [[Soulknife]]), which is probably the lowest number of prestige classes found in any Third Edition splatbook. It was the second hardback splatbook released for that version of the game (the first being ''Monsters of Faerun'').

For some insanely idiotic reason, in addition to a ''psionics'' system, it also added a completely separate ''psionic combat'' system, which nobody really understood or gave a shit about because it required more math than [[anal circumference|FATAL]] and the Apollo missions put together. Here's a small excerpt: "The attacker sets the defender's will save DC with a d20 roll modified by two additional components: the attacker's appropriate ability modifier and the DC modifier. The attacker's ability modifier depends on the specific attack mode used. The DC modifier is determined by the defense mode raised by the defender, if any, which is found by cross-referencing the attack mode and defense mode on Table 4-1..." nigga shut the fuck up, nobody's going to keep track of all that shit. After 3.5e was released, one of the first things that WotC did was replace the ''Psionics Handbook'' with the ''Expanded Psionics Handbook'', which got rid of psionic combat, much to everyone's relief.
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