2d4chan - User contributions [en]

Stupid Evil

2021-10-04T23:44:44Z

2601:281:8080:78B0:B1AD:43AE:FA34:2FF7: /* A Song of Ice and Fire */

{{fail}}
{{Heresy}}
{{Topquote|No Muttley, we can't win fairly. We are villains, ergo we have to cheat!|Dick Dastardly, recognizing his role in ''Wacky Races'' while being unable to avoid playing it. Naturally, the finish line is right behind him.}}
{{Topquote|If you acquire a reputation as a mad dog, you'll be treated as a mad dog; taken out back and slaughtered for pig feed.|Roose Bolton to his son Ramsay in ''Game of Thrones''.}}
[[File:Skeletor.jpg|right|300px|thumb|"Nevermind what I said, just do what I said!"]]
Yes, [[Stupid Good]] has its Evil counterpart. A general trait of '''Stupid Evil''' is doing evil things for the sake of being evil (e.g. pettiness, self gratification, etc.), rather than because they are (morality aside) easy or viable paths towards wealth, power, revenge, or whatever the villain's goal is. This is especially true when a non-evil (or even less evil) way of doing things would work better.

A villain who is truly insane can get away with this sort of thing since what compels them to act in an evil manner is the fact that they have some screws loose, and likewise comedic villains can get away with it because their evil is just a plot device to cause funny things to happen. However, "serious" nemeses and long-term, high-threat villains are usually expected to have a goal and some capacity for rational planning; a villain who takes time out of a busy day to kick a puppy or eat a kitten just to establish evil credibility will probably be treated with derision by players. By the same token, a villain who presents an otherwise seemingly insurmountable threat being undone by a massive fatal flaw - such as pride or hubris - can make for quite a compelling yarn.

[[TVTropes|Compare]] to [[Chaotic Stupid]]. They're not quite the same, but there's often a lot of overlap due the tendency of bad players and writers to mistake "chaotic" with "act like as big of an obnoxious asshole as physically possible".

==Examples of Stupid Evil==
There is oh so much of it...
===[[A Song of Ice and Fire]]===
The amount of retarded villains in this series is truly staggering. And yet, despite all of the stupid evil committed by them, [[Grimdark|they were able to secure many victories in the beginning]], even if only because the good guys are either more [[Lawful Stupid]] or [[Stupid Good]]. Ultimately however, most of the Lannisters and their allies, including the Boltons and Freys met their ends in spite of their ruthlessness.

Of course, A Song of Ice and Fire is known for its frequent grey morality, and most Stupid Evil characters have something of an explanation. Even then, you'd be inclined to wonder how far ahead some of them were really thinking, especially in the adaptations - though it's arguably intentional, possibly to demonstrate how [[Not As Planned|a lack of pragmatism fucks people over in the long-term]], especially in a realm so rapidly driven by [[Just as planned|ever-changing politics and schemes]] ([[Skub|or possibly because of bad writing, who knows]]).

'''The Lannisters'''

Lannister-brand parenting and ruling revolves around nepotism, an iron fist and enough money to solve any problem thrown at them. While they enjoy significant successes at first, they also gave birth to some of the most short-sighted sociopaths who rely on their fortune, both material and immaterial, to try and win the Game of Thrones, and all ultimately lose in the end due to both fortunes running short. Examples of the Lannisters' worst offenders:

* Joffrey Baratheon is both very impulsive and sadistic, which is an already disastrous pairing of personality traits to combine with the fact that he's 12 - 15 years old across the books. On the note of not-even-really-excuses, there's also possible mental instability resulting from the fact that he's inbred and his mother is Cersei (more on her in a moment).
** He hires a peasant and gives them a Valyrian Blade to kill Bran Stark - this is one of only a few hundred such weapons in all of Westeros, and an unusual weapon for a common hitman when a common dirk would have sufficed; when that fails, it causes the Starks to suspect the Lannisters. He also kills Eddard Stark to make an example of him, therefore sparking an unnecessary and very costly civil war that went against what his family had planned. Despite that, they still came out on top since they are still standing while the Starks are scattered, due mainly to Tywin and Tyrion being [[Creed|tactical geniuses and strategic masterminds.]]
** He also chooses to ignore his duties and the welfare of his people in favor of satiating his sadistic behavior, even abusing them when they're seeking his help. He regularly abuses Sansa in particular, and threatens to have her killed despite the fact it will reduce her value as a political hostage and (in their eyes) could cause the Starks to kill their political hostage, Jaime Lannister.
** Having no regard for the peasants and working class under your charge is already a bad idea, but is ''especially'' so when there's an impending siege plus a food shortage and tensions are already high. This leads to a riot that causes several deaths when he orders a mass execution after one member of the crowd threw a dung ball at him.
** Even his family isn't safe from his viciousness, occasionally to the point of team-killing fuckery: he has one of his Kingsguard try to murder his uncle Tyrion in the middle of the Battle of Blackwater instead of just simply poisoning him (as Tyrion pointed out) and didn't even wait until after the battle which Tyrion was essential in. He even calls Tywin a coward. ''Out loud. In front of other people. '''To his face.''''' Luckily for Joffrey they were related, or he would have been struck down. And as what turns out to be a final hurrah at his wedding, he insults his in-laws and his bride at their wedding reception and subjects Tyrion to petty tortures in front of everyone.

* Cersei Lannister, while not as dumb as her son Joffrey (low a bar as that is), is egotistic and paranoid as fuck; if she, for any reason, thinks you might threaten her or her children, even for something as minor as telling her her latest idea is a bad one, you're in trouble. At best, she will view you as an enemy and will be a passive-aggressive bitch to you, and at worst she'll have you brutally tortured to death, even if you're one of House Lannister's allies to whom good relations are vital. On top of all that, she's a contender for Worst Mother in Westeros, and her cruelty drove away even her incestuous lover, Jaime Lannister (which happened much earlier into the books than in the TV show).
** She invited Gregor Clegane (see below) to King's Landing at the same time Oberyn Martell is visiting, despite the fact that Gregor is the reason there's bad blood between House Lannister and House Martell, and the Martells know it.
** After Joffrey died, she went out of her way to rig the trial for his death against Tyrion, despite the circumstances ''already'' being against him - this made him more determined than ever to survive, and tipped off Oberyn that Tyrion is innocent of the crime. This led to the duel between Oberyn and Gregor that ruined the Lannister/Martell alliance and ''nearly'' cost the Lannisters their pet beast.
** She also responded to a satirical puppet show about House Lannister being evil tyrants by having anyone who saw it either fined (up to half of all their money if they're rich) or mutilated (an eye cut out if they're too poor to pay), and then ordering the puppeteers executed. She didn't even mind the play at first - she only took offence because the ending had the Lannisters getting their comeuppance at the hands of a Targaryen. Then, instead of the headsman, she did something worse and handed the puppeteers over to her resident mad scientist for deadly experiments at his request. Ironically, events following this would vindicate the puppeteers for their play (more on ''that'' below).
** Cersei encouraged the worst aspects of her sons; in the case of Joffrey, this is like attempting to put out a forest fire with napalm. Her atrocious parenting, combined with conceiving Joffrey with her brother Jamie AND Robert's own negligence, is the reason Joffrey's such a repulsive asshole. She ignores the numerous acts of cruelty and stupidity of her eldest son, and treats any criticism of him as a personal attack on ''her''.
** She was an overbearing mother to Tommen - her actually half-decent person of a second son - to the point of [[What|trying to make him more like Joffrey]], which inevitably failed and made Tommen a gullible yes-man of a momma's boy. This in turn left them vulnerable to the ambitions of Margaery Tyrell, who tries to drive a wedge between them and threatens her plans to rule as queen regent until Tommen was of age. Cersei also neglected her daughter Myrecella since the patriarchal nature of Westeros royalty meant she was unlikely to get power... despite Cersei regularly complaining about sexism against women.
** She killed a high septon because he was a cat's paw Tyrion put into power to keep the faith in House Lannister's pocket (being a decent but easily manipulated man), because Cersei's paranoia meant she feared that Tyrion was out to get her and that guy was in on it. This leads to a more competent and devout high septon getting into power with ambitions of his own. She then let him raise his own army, creating another player to threaten House Lannister's precarious position and one unbeholden to politics, which leads to her arrest - though in the books he was smart and played Cersei like a fiddle. In context, Cersei's undoing is a good thing - especially for everyone not allied with House Lannister.
** In the TV show, as revenge for the High Sparrow imprisoning her and Margaery taking her place as Queen (which is partly her fault in the ''first place''), she makes the perfectly rational decision to blow them all to fuck using magical napalm while they were at church for a trial. The end result was: Making the High Sparrow a martyr and driving the followers of the faith into a fervor that fuels uprisings; driving Tommen (who was friends with the High Sparrow and loved Margaery dearly) to commit suicide via jumping out a window; and pushing a pissed Olenna Tyrell to withdraw all the house's support from King's Landing and declare for the resurgent House Targaryen alongside Dorne. Cersei and House Lannister now literally had no major allies left in Westeros sans the Freys, who aren't at all reliable and were being destroyed by Arya and the Boltons when their treachery outstripped the benefits.
Unfortunately, she was still one step ahead and easily took out Houses Tyrell and Dorne despite their efforts, using the Iron Bank to buy herself a mercenary force and recruit Euron at the cost of losing Casterly Rock to her rivals (though this was helped by some internal team-killing from Oberyn's widow thanks to the fact the Martell/Tyrell relation are as bad as Stark/Lannister, it's a bloody epidemic in that show).
** Also in the TV show, when Daenerys and her supports come to parlay with Cersei's forces for help against the White Walkers and their zombie armies - showing proof by cutting up a captured zombie with the pieces still attacking - Cersei did the stupidest possible thing and refused to support them, deciding she'd rather "let the dead eat them all". She ignored the fact that this would leave her on the receiving end of a curb-stomp battle from either the aforementioned While Walkers (whose undead army would be bolstered by the dead from Daenerys') or Daenerys' forces AND everyone else grateful Daenerys beat the White Walkers/sick of Cersei. This ultimately comes back to bite her when she kills Missandei and pushes Daenerys over the edge from Lawful Neutral to Stupid Evil as she gives no quarter to anyone in King's Landing and commands the Dorathki, Unsullied and her dragon to rape, pillage and burn down King's Landing and leave no survivors - Cersei and her brother Jamie were crushed to death by the falling rubble. Of course, as will soon be made clear, Danerys was turned into a draconian (hue) powder keg of Stupid Evil herself, but for now we move to...

* Arguably Tywin Lannister: while known for his image of being a deviously competent politician and general, his actions don't hold up to the hype under further scrutiny. His neurotic obsession with protecting his house's reputation leads him to condone and engage in acts of excessive cruelty and brutality that have long term negative consequences, with his patriarchal narcissism ultimately resulting in his death at the hands of his dwarf son.
** Spurned Tyrion out of spite for his unintentional role in his wife's death - she died in childbirth. He did this for Tyrion's entire life, including annulling Tyrion's marriage to a peasant girl by having her gang-raped while forcing Tyrion to watch ''and later join in'' - this act horrified even Bronn, Tyrion's amoral sword-for-hire who'd kill a baby for the right price, saying in Tyrion's shoes he'd have killed Tywin for that, father or not. All this leaves the only one of his children who was both competent ''and'' legally available to inherit Casterly Rock with a burning hatred for Tywin.
** Sent Gregor Clegane after Elia Martell and her kids, planning for the children's death but hoping to use Elia as leverage against the Dornish; however, he forgot what a monster Gregor is and she dies as a result, with House Martell despising House Lannister, and likely setting in motion a possible (though ultimately ineffectual) poisoning with Widow's Blood by Oberyn Martell (It stops up the bowels until the victim dies of sepsis, which may have been why he was on the shitter when Tyrion killed him).
** Ordered Clegane and the Brave Companions/Bloody Mummers mercenary company to run wild in the Riverlands, causing a major agricultural zone for the continent to drop in productivity during the onset of a winter that could last years. Those affected by the rampages of Gregor and the Bloody Mummers also started to join the Sparrows religious movement, creating more opponents of House Lannister that have deep personal grievances with them (such as a peasant innkeeper whose son was murdered by the Mummer's and whose daughter was raped by Gregor).
** Orchestrated the Red Wedding, shredding House Lannister's political image and credibility throughout Westeros - nobody wants to negotiate with someone who doesn't follow the same rules of war as them, like say, honoring a right to hospitality that the entire continent respects. In a bitter stroke of irony, his own grandson Joffrey would be murdered by Olenna Tyrell at his own wedding with Margery to spare her of the same fate Sansa suffered, meaning that everything he did to bring Joffrey to power was all for nothing ''and'' widened the rift between Tyrion by letting him take the fall for Joffey's death, as well as allowing the Tyrells to have an advantage over the Lannisters with help from the Sparrows who as mentioned above, were supported by the Tyrells thanks to the atrocities committed.
** In particular, he berated Tyrion for whoremongering while using prostitutes himself. This is worth noting not merely for the expected hypocrisy, but for the fact that Tywin likely took issue with his ''severe'' lack of discretion more than anything else: what son of a Lannister, much less ''his'' own son, should be so well-known as a skirt-chaser? Then he was founding banging Tyrion's sugar baby Shae; this last hurrah got him killed, as he mouthed off at Tyrion when the latter had a loaded crossbow pointed at him while he was stuck on the toilet and had learnt of his ultimate betrayal (it also led to Shae's death). He also died with the shameful legacy of being found dead on the toilet with his corpse stinking up his own funeral, his daughter being remembered as a Targareyn-wannabe (not a compliment), his grandson being a wimpy tyrant and his oldest son being an oath-breaking team-killing sister-fucker... all while his rivals Ned and Robb were lionized (heh) as martyrs.

* Gregor Clegane is a serial killer with a short temper. He's gone through three wives who died under suspicious circumstances.
There's a high turnover rate among the servants at his keep and even animals avoid his chambers. Before this, he maimed his brother Sandor and would've killed him if three men didn't intervene, and he's heavily implied to have murdered his sister and father, despite the father doting on him even when his evil started to become apparent.
** The circumstances surrounding him and his brother are as such: Gregor once caught his brother playing with one of Gregor's discarded toy soldiers when they were children. He took the logical next step of holding his brother's face over a fire, permanently disfiguring that half of his face and mentally scarring him; on top of a case of pyrophobia it arguably made him stagnate into a phase of prolonged "adult childhood" from a developmental disorder, based on this and his other actions.
** Before the story starts, it's an open secret that Gregor raped and murdered Rheagar's wife Elia Martell, even though he hadn't been ordered to do so and she was valuable political hostage. He also killed a baby, and though he'd been ordered to do that, the fact remains that [[Grimdark|he had no qualms about the deed and went so far as smashing his head against a wall]]. This bites him and the Lannisters in the ass BIG TIME later on, though he deserved it.
** After losing a jousting match, Gregor decapitated his own horse, then tries to kill his opponent, Loras Tyrell, and his own brother Sandor when the latter intervenes. Had Gregor succeeded, it's likely the Lannisters would've kissed any hope of an alliance with the Tyrells goodbye.
** The men who Gregor recruits as his hand-picked warriors aren't chosen for their intelligence or resourcefulness, and not even loyalty; they serve Gregor out of fear and desire of plunder, and prize their fighting skills and sadism, essentially raping and torturing random peasants to death for the lulz. This includes the prisoners from the taking of Harrenhal, many of whom were nobility and could have been used as leverage in the war. And due to the atrocities of people serving under his command, they would be partially responsible for the Sparrows rise to power and led by the above mentioned Tyrells no less.
** Arguably when, before killing Oberyn, Gregor shouted a confession to his crime of murdering and raping Elia in front of all of the nobles in King's Landing. This would've put House Martell and House Lannister at open war... if the Martells hadn't been already secretly plotting to destroy them, though this ''does'' push their schedule forward and undermine the Lannister's supporters.
** For all that, there is at least some "justification" as to why this guy is kept around by House Lannister. He's a brutal warrior in every sense of the word who projects an aura of fear, and for all his butchery, raping, rage, and blunt cruelty, he's never threatened House Lannister directly and is (for want of a better word) content to be their pet beast. It also doesn't help that he's addicted to milk of the poppy (opium in all but name) since he consumed so much to combat the migraines brought on by his gigantism that it no longer works on him and he's always in an addled state.

* Ramsay Bolton is the son of Roose, a cunning general who manipulated and back-stabbed his way into rulership of the North; unlike Roose, Ramsey lacks any strategic foresight and critical thinking, and is totally fearless and reckless with his actions, which Roose correctly points out will be his downfall if they are not curbed. This ends up coming across as more of an informed attribute due to the TV show's writing, but the result is ultimately the same. [[Fail|Shame he didn't listen to his old man, huh?]]
** He killed his half-brother, despite the fact that this also deprived his father of another heir, which in medieval-esque societies is important; the more offspring they have, the more likely the noble family is to survive.
** His savage exploits are known across Westeros, and he continuously pisses off the other Northern lords by hunting down their subjects for fun, partly inspiring half of the Northern Houses rebel against Bolton rule. He chose to flay Ironborn captives alive, despite promising them clemency if they surrendered, along with turning Theon Greyjoy into his personal eunuch slave. This has ensured that the Ironborn will now fight to the death rather than sue for peace, and contemplate a full invasion of the North instead of merely raiding its settlements and pledged loyalty to Daenerys. Unfortunately in the TV Series, thanks to treachery by Euron usurping the throne from Yara, most of the Iron Fleet joined the Lannister who proves instrumental in crushing the Martell's for their previous transgression of fatally poisoning Clegane.
** In the books, after marrying the fake-Arya Stark (who everyone else thinks is the real one) he tortures her, threatens her and [[FATAL|tries to make her do certain things to his hunting dogs]]. This sets off the Northerners' [[Powder Keg of Justice]], causing an uprising against the Boltons that will likely end with Ramsay's and Roose's heads on spikes.
** He sent an assassin after Jon Snow. As Roose pointed out, Jon was the leader of a well-known and politically neutral organization, whose claim to the throne of House Stark was tenuous at best, and would've gone against his vows, a big deal in Westeros. Killing him would almost certainly create a martyr, or at least demonstrate to the other houses that House Bolton has no respect for neutrality.
** The TV version actually murdered his father in the middle of the war, fed his step-mother and infant half-brother to his dogs, and he'd also raped Sansa Stark beforehand after manipulating an arranged marriage between them. Yet he [[Mary Sue|somehow manages more (and often downright insane) successes than his book counterpart]] in spite of acting like little more than a rabid dog raised in nobility (the infamous "twenty good men" scene where trained killers' armor and expertise suddenly become useless against a half-naked Ramsay comes to mind).
** Unfortunately (for him), his fortune doesn't last, as being a team-killing fucktard ultimately got his own army wiped out before he was beaten to near-death by Jon Snow, culminating in Sansa feeding him to his own dogs -- who were only hungry enough to turn on him because he'd starved them for a week beforehand in anticipation of feeding them the Starks and in his previous hunts he'd deliberately cultivated a taste for human flesh in the dogs.

* Slaver's Bay (aka ''Stupid Evil: The Civilization''), a neo-Ghiscari settlement, is run by a bunch of decadent slave dealers who do nothing besides wax on about how great the 5 millennia dead old Ghiscari Empire was and leave their society in the Bronze Age... in a world one step removed from [[Medieval Stasis]].
** Of the four cities of Slaver's Bay, two of them, Meereen and Yunkai, believe that a bunch of slaves with spears and shields led by fops on horseback or in chariots wearing linen vests and helmets made to accommodate their stupid hairdos constitute a proper army. After Yunkai gets its ass kicked by Daenerys when she brings a half decent army to the field that doesn't run at the first excuse, they decide that it would be a good idea to raise ''new'' slave armies that are [[What|chained together and fight on stilts]].
** One of them, Astapor, trains Unsullied elite spear slaves who obey any order given to them without question, which they sell and use for defense. The Masters of Astapor [[Derp|agree to sell all the Unsullied they've got to Dany exchange for one of her dragons]], and she then proceeds to have the Unsullied sack their city and kill them.
** Admittedly, the prospect of owning a dragon, especially after they’re thought to be extinct for centuries and being the equivalent of a self-replenishing WMD, is an awfully tempting one given how new Unsullied are made each year. Despite that, it’s ''still'' extremely stupid that they questioned neither the possibility of how they can control said dragon (leading to one Master burning to death seconds after grabbing the dragon’s chain) ''nor'' the sense in selling every Unsullied warrior-slave to the same person and leaving none to defend themselves. They also never considered that the Unsullied, though trained to be obedient, might resent the brutality involved in their training ([[Grimdark|which included castrating them at a young age, sending aspirants into the city tasked with killing babies in front of their mothers to prove they'll follow even the vilest orders, giving them a puppy to care for in their first year then making them strangle it to death as a test of loyalty - killing those who fail this test, and making them take new names each day on pain of death - demeaning names like "black rat", "blue toad" or "red flea" - so they can't develop a sense of individual identity]]), and would seize a chance for vengeance which Dany happily gave them.
** For no particular tactical reason, the leadership of Meereen decided to taunt an oncoming army by having child slaves nailed to mileposts to die along the road - a decision which backfires on them rather spectacularly.

* Daenerys Targaryen of the TV show's continuity takes her newly earned spot in this list with a single but major action, through the sheer power of bad writing. In the second-to-last episode, she reduces the entire citizenry to dragonfire kindling through a series of events that Cersei is somewhat at fault for: Dany was already fixing to blow several gaskets because she was rejected by Jon Snow (who is her nephew and not as incest-willing as Jamie) and got one of her dragons killed (by [[What|completely forgetting about an entire fleet of ships]]), and then Cersei slams the final nail in the coffin of her rational thought by having her close friend Missandei publicly killed. This last act is the impetus for Dany to torch 'em all and let the Seven sort it out, throwing away any and all goodwill she would have gained from King's Landing - virtually nobody held much love or loyalty for Cersei, and most of the common folk would have loved her had she not then decided to literally become her father.
** Don't get us wrong, signs of a dark, sadistic side to Daenerys were always there with the signpost punishment and other early signs of a "pay evil unto evil" mentality that cast shadows of doubt onto her image as the liberating Breaker of Chains. But with the way said signs were developed in the show (which is to say, almost ''not at all''), it is beyond stupefying how she went from "Messiah, Breaker of Chains" to truly being her father's daughter in the grand span of ''two episodes''. It's no wonder everyone save the Unsullied (who themselves were retconned enough that they might as well be unthinking automatons now - a cruel irony since a big part of their story was slave-soldiers developing their own identities... though Grey Worm had the excuse of being distraught over Missandei's death since he loved her) and Dothraki (who actually enjoy random acts of slaughter like this) turned on her the moment they saw what she has become and got her assassinated... which created its own plot hole as to why the Dothraki and Unsullied didn't try to avenge her.
***Worth mentioning that the ''concept'' of turning Daenerys Targaryen to the dark side wasn't in itself horrible. It could be a big shock while remaining a realistic turn (a girl raised to power in a tyrannical land who moved in a feudal one), and it was a good reminder to [[Dune|not blindly trust the charismatic leader.]] The problem is that execution was absolutely abysmal. She just snaps, kill everyone and turn literally hitler.
** And no, we're not shitting you: in a televised interview, the showrunners were asked why Daenerys didn't do anything about the Iron Fleet, and Beinoff nervously said outright that [[What|she kind of forgot about them]] (more likely the writers themselves forgot about them). That is almost (but just barely not quite) ''Dexter'' finale or ''Supernatural'' finale levels of shit writing, wasting such a spectacular crew and cast on them to boot. If GRRM intends to turn Dany evil and kill her off, he knows what NOT to do in ADOS - assuming TWOW, let alone ADOS, are ever finished.

===Other general examples===
* Strawman villains in poorly written fiction across the board.
* Villains in Saturday morning cartoons and similar fare (e.g. Wacky Races, Captain Planet).
* [[Grimderp|Grimdark as a whole often suffers]] from characters who make things crappy just for the sake of making things crappy.
* [[Edgy|Edgelord]] characters by preteens/actual teens (or users with a similar enough mentality) on DeviantArt (though one could argue Edgelords are more [[Chaotic Stupid]], this is a case by case basis).
* The 'villains' of many fringe-conspiracy theories would be Stupid Evil if they existed as depicted, since their plans undermine their own power bases, have little to no tangible gain, or else draw attention by plastering their logo on everything. It's also weird that despite how cartoonishly evil they are thought of, they don't bother to kill anyone exposing the conspiracies while making it look like an accident. This is probably because there is some overlap with the strawman characters - they just have to be Evil™ enough to scare whoever you're selling your bridge to into action, said action being pissing off people who aren't uneducated enough to fall for your snake oil and the ignorant making you rich.

===Other /tg/-relevant examples===
* The Sith in the ''[[Star Wars]]'' universe suffer from this greatly, and it's a major reason they keep losing to the Jedi and failed to keep any of their empires intact long-term. In fact, one could argue that they're a perfect case study on why Stupid Evil is a bad idea:
** Firstly, whereas the Jedi code encourages understanding yet controlling your emotions (that way you take them into account, but they don't prevent you from doing what is necessary), the Sith code encourages embracing your emotions and indeed, many of the most powerful Sith like Darth Vader are incredibly emotionally damaged. Thus Sith tend to do things in the heat of the moment and often lack the patience needed to be truly effective. Darth Malak can't find Revan and the Ebon Hawk crew on a planet he has control of? Oh well better just ''level his own planet'' with Star Destroyers, costing himself thousands of workers and soldiers in his psychotic and desperate rush to off his old master.
** Secondly, the Sith code is built on a hyper-Darwinist, "survival-of-the-fittest" structure. While this sounds decent enough on paper, in practice it meant that the Sith ''constantly'' backstabbed each other in idiotic power plays, often leading to Sith killing each other more often than they killed Jedi. Crossing with the "overly emotional" thing above, their lack of patience often led to them betraying each other way before it was beneficial to do so. Darth Bane was the first major Sith Lord to realize how stupid and unsustainable this lifestyle was, and did something about it for the benefit of the Order rather than themselves. His "rule of two" may have led to the Sith population being lower than ever before or after, but at least it kept the Sith order alive and prevented most of them from slaughtering each other in pathetic attempts to gobble up more power.
*** It should be noted that even the Sith themselves violate or weasel their way around the Rule of Two every now and then. Darth Maul was alive at the same time as Dooku & Palpatine (technically before Dooku defected after Qui-Gon's death but it still counts as Palps was already planning to replace him in Legends), and in the EU during Vader's time there were the Force-using "Hands of the Emperor" agents such as Mara Jade. They also have characters like Ventress who aren’t officially Sith Lords, yet are trained just like one. So while it decreases their numbers by a lot, they find ways around even when they actually obey said rule. This again is an aversion of idiocy, as a spare is a good a idea when only two people are allowed.
*** Also don't get the idea that Darth Bane's plan was sensible or not-backstabby. He wiped out almost all of the Sith in exchange for merely a small group of Jedi of the Jedi in an admittedly epic and arguably goddamn hilarious backstab, and part of the reason he did so wasn't because he was sure they'd fall into infighting - rather, Lord Kaan had most of them under his thumb thanks to psychic influence and strength - but because the Sith were acting in very un-Sithy ways, relying purely on strength of arms and unified armies rather than mastery of the Dark Side. Even when there was a very real chance the Sith could've won via these methods, he couldn't have that or slink off and make his rule of two on his own - he had to backstab everyone else first. Then, go figure, his sucessors ended up using those same pragmatic tactics until the Jedi declined enough to almost destroy them in one blow. To be fair, the survivors (read: the assholes who didn't help with the 300-year long galactic dark age after two and a half millennia of almost nonstop war) and their policies lead to the decline of the Jedi Order until they got Order 66'd.
** Thirdly and finally, Sith who engage in too much evil and envelope themselves too deeply in the Dark Side often suffer from an inability to properly sense the Light Side. This alienation of the Light is what lead to the otherwise brilliant Palpatine's death. He alienated altruism and good so utterly that he was not only unable to sense Luke Skywalker's presence during a critical moment, but he was also unable to sense that his apprentice Darth Vader still had some morality in him. Thus he attempts to tortuously kill Luke, and is killed himself when he fails to sense Vader's own paternal feelings and the betrayal they influence.
* The [[Skaven]] from [[Warhammer Fantasy]], whose rival clans always plan on backstabbing each other even if they're all fighting a mutual (and often far worse) enemy. A perfect plan for them involves getting their own enemies and allies to kill each other, until they are the only one left to face the next enemy - keep in mind that "they" doesn't just mean rival clans either; in an apocalyptic scenario, even their personal secretary is only barely less of an enemy than the hordes of the undead. As above, it takes the [[Horned Rat]], their god, as well as the invention of instant communication via the [[Farsqueaker]], to get their fuzzy little asses united...though in the Skaven's case, them being a species of Stupid Evil is entirely the ([[Lulz|hilarious]]) point and their society is explained as surviving in spite of themselves due to a ridiculous breeding rate.
* Humans in science and fantasy fiction often end up being Stupid Evil when the (usually incompetent) writer wants to make a statement about discrimination. According to these tales, humans are apparently overly-panicky and violent psychopaths itching for an excuse to murder the shit out of other species. For instance, in [[Avatar]] the human army is portrayed as a bunch of jingoist lunatics who want to slaughter the peaceful Na'vi for the resources they need, rather than trying to reap long-term benefits by making peaceful contact, in a clear exaggeration of tendencies that might have existed in the colonization era. The advent of [[Humanity Fuck Yeah]] is in part a reaction to this phenomenon.
** Heck, even if you're genocidal, when you have total orbital supremacy you should just [[Rocks fall, everyone dies|drop rocks]], rather than charging into battle in your mecha.
* Some followers of [[Chaos]], such as [[Firaeveus Carron]], can prove to be this most of the time.
* [[Lolth]] actually enforces Stupid Evil in her worshipers: because of her, the Drow spend 3 quarters of their energy fighting each other instead of defending themselves, which is a really bad idea since they live in an underground city under constant threat of being [[rape]]d by [[illithid]]s and [[beholder]]s. In fact, when things get really bad, she literally has to tell them to get their shit together for a short period of time.
* [[/co/|The Joker.]] Once "merely" [[Tzeentch|a criminal mastermind with a chaotic, unpredictable bent]] and joke-themed weapons (like a joy buzzer that gives a lethal electric shock and a squirting flower that sprays acid), he devolved in the 90's into a murder-happy rabid dog who kills for the jollies and because [[/d/|he gets off on being punched in the face by Batman]]. With the ''Dark Knight'' and ''Joker'' movies, it's been shown that he can be convincingly chaotic evil for reasons that make Batman look like a whiny rich kid, though this depends heavily on the writer. That being said, Joker is one of the cases that is actually fun to be written as one hundred percent Stupid Evil. There is just something hilarious about the ridiculously cruel things he keeps coming up with when written well and as Joaquin Phoenix masterfully demonstrated, he can be made into a nuanced character with understandable motivations as well.
* General Zod and his minions as depicted in Man Of Steel. Zack Snyder tried to make them complex but botched up the execution. Seriously, they brag about how [[Dark Eldar|lacking any semblance of a moral compass makes them superior]]. Michael Shannon’s laughably misguided performance certainly didn’t do any favors for our suspension of disbelief (for the record, we blame Zack Snyder for Zod’s performance, as Synder was the director).
* Starscream from [[Transformers]]. He's too ambitious and egotistical to realize how good his position as Megatron's second-in-command is, and so spends much of his time trying to usurp his leader with predictable failure. He also tends to do things on the spur of the moment to satisfy his own ego, as demonstrated in ''Prime'' where he angrily takes credit for killing Arcee's best friend Cliffjumper ''while in handcuffs in front of Arcee'', simply because he doesn't want Airachnid stealing the credit for things he did.

[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]][[Category:Alignment]][[Category:Stupid Alignments]]

Lawful Stupid

2021-10-04T23:24:10Z

2601:281:8080:78B0:B1AD:43AE:FA34:2FF7:

{{fail}}
[[File:Obligatum VII.jpg|300px|thumb|right|[[Inevitable|Obligatum]] [[Elder Evils#Pandorym|VII]], the posterboy of Lawful Stupid.]]
{{Topquote|You wear your honor like a suit of armor, Stark. You think it keeps you safe, but all it does is weigh you down and make it hard for you to move.|[[A Song of Ice and Fire|Lord Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish to Lord Eddard Stark.]]}}
{{Topquote|Individuals should not create fan films or animations based on our settings and characters. To create such content, you need a Games Workshop license.|Games Workshop}}
{{Topquote|Fiat justitia ruat caelum - Let justice be done though the heavens fall|legal maxim}}

'''Lawful Stupid''' is gamer slang (derived from the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] [[alignment]] system, but can easily be applied to [[character]]s in any [[role-playing game]] as well as fiction in general) for a specific way of playing a [[Lawful Good]] or, especially, a [[Lawful Neutral]] character, most infamously a [[Paladin]]. It is characterized by lack of common sense, following the rules arbitrarily without actually understanding them and just generally being an annoying prick. He's [[that guy]] who will stop a chase scene because he has to chastise someone that was jaywalking. Lawful Stupid players are one of the main reasons (along with asshole [[DM]]s) why people dislike the Paladin class. It can also be a jab at the fact that Intelligence is a common [[dump stat]] for Paladins in 3.5, since their [[MAD]] mandates high Charisma and Wisdom, the traditional dump stats of combat classes. [[Pathfinder]] allows them to dump Wisdom, the only class that can really do so, making this even worse.

Although the iconic Lawful Stupid character is a poorly-played Paladin (Alignment requirement: Lawful Good), non-Paladin depictions are almost invariably [[Lawful Neutral]], since this kind of characterization is a disappointingly logical extrapolation from a character alignment that can be summed up as "[[Judge Dredd|the Law is the Law and all that matters is that it is the law;]] [[Derp|whether or not it helps or hurts people is irrelevant, the LAW must be upheld!]]"

A lot of this really stems from a surface understanding of the Lawful alignment. While following the law is a lawful act, following the rules is not the end-all definition of the Lawful alignment. Lawful means orderly. So the type of person who religiously organizes their sock drawer would be considered Lawful. A Lawful person can disagree with the laws of the land, wanting to replace them with new laws. It's the desire for order and logic that matters. Of course these would be sensible Lawful people, and therefore not "Lawful Stupid".

Compare to [[Chaotic Stupid]], [[Stupid Evil]], [[Stupid Good]], and [[Stupid Neutral]]. There really are a lot of ways to be stupid in fantasy games, aren't there?

== How to avoid it while playing Lawful Good ==
The [[Discworld]] series by Terry Pratchett, in particular any scenes with the Witches of Lancre or the Ankh Morpork City Watch, are all but required reading for understand Granny Weatherwax, Sam Vimes, and Carrot Ironfoundersson are all (probably) Lawful Good, but all add their own twists on the formula. Carrot possesses such a high Charisma score that he can literally [[Diplomancer|charm people into doing what he wants]], but when that fails he tricks people into doing what he wants, technically avoiding a non-Lawful alignment by twisting the law into a pretzel when he can. Vimes follows both the letter and the spirit of the Law whenever he can stretch it, but isn't above committing illegal acts to uphold Lawful purposes. Granny is Evil by nature, but Good by necessity and ''hates'' it, since her sister got first pick on the question "are you a good witch or a bad witch?" and chose to be bad. To combat this, she continually takes out her frustration on other people by acting like the spiteful and entitled octogenarian that she technically is, avoiding a fall into True Neutral or Neutral Evil because witches are ''supposed'' to act a bit nutty, even the Lawful ones, and none of it matters as long as she does what's capital-r Right.

The AD&D book "The Complete Paladin's Handbook" has a section ("Virtues", page 33) on the behavior and code of conduct a Paladin normally upholds; that of a gracious and well-mannered individual who respects good and the law, but is not on an endless crusade to uphold it. They would not upset a tavern just because they detected an evil presence within and risk causing chaos, for example.

Another way to play lawful good is to play your paladin like a modern soldier: able and willing to do anything needed to win, except as decreed by certain laws and customs of war, e.g. for example, the Geneva and Hague Conventions. Those laws still restrict the actions of a soldier, but he is still expected to act with common sense in order to achieve victory and not follow orders that violate those laws.

== How to avoid it while playing lawful neutral ==
This is arguably even harder than avoiding it whilst playing Lawful Good; at least Lawful Good types are ''supposed'' to balance their calling to law & order vs. their calling to good. Lawful Neutral types are often categorized by their firm belief that law and order are the only things of importance, with morality being dismissed as insignificant next to maintaining of order. The primary key to doing so is to keep a proper perspective; traffic laws, for example, have their place in the scheme of things. When you are racing to prevent the nuclear annihilation of a city is ''not'' that place. Don't get so bogged down with legal minutia that you allow far greater acts of destruction and anarchy to occur in whilst you attend to the little things.

[[Judge Dredd]] can be a good example of this. For example, in the opening sequence of the 2012 ''Dredd'' movie, he pursues a car full of criminals but does not shoot at them until they collide with and kill a pedestrian, and even then only shoots to disable the van's tires. He doesn't shoot to kill until one of them threatens to kill a hostage and refuses to accept an offer to surrender. Also, when he sees a vagrant sitting outside the crime scene Dredd tells him not to be there when he gets back instead of arresting him because he has better things to do at the moment. Of course, when he's just doing the rounds on his birthday, he'll issue noise citations to children who sing to him because <s>he is The Law</s> it's just plain embarrassing (and then donate the presents he receives to an orphanage because he's not [[That Guy]]). But not always a good example, like the time in the 1995 movie when Dredd suggested Rob Schneider's character jump off the top of a building rather than vandalize a robot to hide in during a shootout, since as Dredd points out, jumping might be suicide, ''but it's legal''.

This is not to say that a Lawful Neutral character doesn't recognize when they break the law or go against the general sense of law (Law) when called to; they do, and they're likely to be annoyed by it. Tenya Iida from My Hero Academia explores this concept, although he can sometimes break into Lawful Stupid, too.

== Examples of Lawful Stupid ==
* [[Games Workshop#Back_on_the_Old_Shit|The Games Workshop Legal Team]]
* The [[Inevitable]]s, divine [[golem]]-like beings with the duty to enact laws and enforce contracts. There's a story of one named "Obligatum VII" (the seventh in its line because six times prior people had the common sense to stop him) who trying to free the [[BBEG]] in a campaign from the book [[Elder Evils]]. The story goes that some mages summoned an eldritch abomination named [[Pandorym]] to blackmail the gods, making a contract with it to destroy the universe when it was summoned. The wizards imprisoned Pandorym instead of finishing the ritual to let it loose so that it wouldn't destroy the universe before they were ready, but the gods just smote the stupid wizards the instant they were done imprisoning Pandorym so he's stuck. Well, Obligatum is here to set things right, and make sure that poor, imprisoned death machine gets the freedom it was promised to carry out its goal, which through some warped sense of honor it is willing to do. How exactly this does not bring him into conflict with another type of Inevitable, the Varakhut, whose job it is to prevent deicide is a whole other box of worms.
* The [[Harmonium]] from [[Planescape]]. ''"The Harmonium believes that peace is a better end than war. [...] If it takes thumping heads to spread the truth, well, the Harmonium's ready to thump heads. Sure, there may not be peace right away, but every time the Harmonium gets rid of an enemy, the multiverse is that much closer to the universal harmony it was meant to have."'' This attitude is how the third layer of [[Arcadia]] shifted into [[Mechanus]], and the gods of Arcadia had to start over. Whoops. What's more, don't forget that they exterminated all non-lawful ''good and neutral'' species in the world where their faction originated. Some good.
* The [[Modron]] race, similarly to the Inevitables above, due to being extraplanar mechanical lifeforms who embody Lawful Neutral. Except they somehow have even less personality. Imagine a poorly-written chatbot with arms, legs and the ability to beat you over the head; that's basically a Modron. They can't even understand the idea that their assumptions may be incorrect.
* [[Helm]], the Lawful Neutral God of Guardians and Watchmen from the [[Forgotten Realms]] has earned this kind of reputation in-universe. Nobody will ''ever'' let him live it down that, during the [[Time of Troubles]], he killed Mystara, the Goddess of Magic, for trying to get back into the upper planes after Ao kicked them all out, despite the fact he knew that this would severely damage the fabric of reality in the process. As a result, [[wild magic]] zones and dead magic zones are commonly called "Helmlands". He also catches a lot of flak for the role his worshippers played in the massacres in [[Maztica]], but that's not so much Lawful Stupid as religious bigotry and the priest's only daughter being sacrificed by one of the natives.
* The stereotypical [[Space Marine]]. Stealth is cowardice, frontal assaults are the only way to go. On the occasion they do utilize tactics like stealth, feints, and flanking, it's all to help the frontal assault succeed rather than the other way around. Retreating is never an option, even if it's to gain more cover. Some will never field [[psyker]]s, ignore [[xenos]], and some won't even cooperate with other [[Space Marine Chapter]]s. A special case being [[Warhammer 40,000 Space Marine|Leandros]].
* The Starks from [[A Song of Ice and Fire|Game of Thrones]]. When Ned Stark finds out that Joffrey and his siblings are incest born bastards, he does the most asinine thing possible and tells Cersei, instead of going to Robert directly. He also tells his daughters of his plan, which causes Sansa to blab to everybody. His son Robb Stark has even more fuckups, namely executing one of his top generals when he should have kept him around (though said Karstark general undeniably disrespected his authority), failing to communicate with Edmure (though Edmure is incompetent), and blatantly breaking his promise to Walder Frey because he felt bad he screwed some other chick and decided to marry her in order to keep their honor intact (though Walder is admittedly a backstabbing opportunist who might have betrayed him anyway, as Robb was undoubtedly losing the war. Also, Walder’s choice to violate one of the most valued rules of honor that even pirates, thieves and murderers keep, simultaneously fucked over his own side by becoming the group absolutely nobody on any side wants to be associated with. Not even the people he betrays Robb in favor of). This kind of shit ends up with the Starks practically destroyed.
** An important qualifier is that these decisions aren't entirely motivated by stupid adherence to honour, with personal history heavily motivating the decisions or with the full consequences of the actions not being immediately obvious.
* The Jedi from the Star Wars Prequels are this, as [[Ultramarines|they followed the Jedi Code - which was meant as a mere guideline - as a set of unbreakable rules]] and set out to completely repress all emotion in somewhat unfounded fear of those emotions leading to the dark side, when they should have acknowledged that which makes us human and simply taught how to use them positively. Such arbitrarily following of the code leads the Council to turn a blind eye to the various problems Anakin Skywalker was having, thereby unintentionally sealing their own downfall.
** Works set before the Prequels shows that this is hardly a new problem for the Jedi Order. Knights Of The Old Republic II features a Jedi named Atris who's incredibly obsessed with following the code to the letter and wiping out the Sith. This leads to her being filled with bitterness and remorse after her best friend/secret crush the Exile is kicked out of the Order, but also leaves her too arrogant to talk to anyone about it. Instead she starts to hide herself away in a temple filled with Sith holocrons to be alone and meditate, and since Sith holocrons literally exude Dark Side-tainted Force energy, she gets unknowingly corrupted into a Sith. Yes, she was so Lawful Stupid that it ''turned her evil''.
* The [[Dwarfs (Warhammer Fantasy)|Dawi]]. They are obsessed with the concept of revenge, as '''all Grudges must be answered for.''' This causes them to wage many unnecessary wars, which is especially stupid since they are a dying race. The fluff speaks of two dwarven lords who were fighting each other in a generation-spanning War of Grudges, even while they were being invaded by an Orc warband. The two lords eventually got together and realized that neither of them remembered what their clans were fighting over, forgave each other, and resolved to ally against the Orcs beating down on their gates. Both sides were promptly crushed by a cave-in caused by ''the gods themselves'' for failing to avenge their respective Grudges and the Orcs got to loot another Karak without difficulty.
* The [[Azorius Senate|Azorius]] from [[Magic: The Gathering]]. The guild makes so many laws that they can literally arrest ANYONE, and then justify it by finding one of the myriad of pointless laws they've passed that the individual has undoubtedly broken. They'll even arrest someone for merely ''thinking'' about breaking a law (see the card [http://gatherer.wizards.com/pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=270794| Psychic Spiral] for proof.) This culminates in them, under Dovin Baan, endorsing [[Bolas]] in ''War of the Spark'' - doesn't matter if there's undead killing everyone and everything erupting into war, as long as your guildleader is officially elected everything is fine.
* The Sangheili, or Elites, from the [[Halo]] franchise. With a ridiculously rigid Bushido-style code of honor that makes the Ultramarines seem like pragmatic chaps, the Elites have often lost battles to humans they could have otherwise won, if they weren't so blindingly "honorable" (Ignoring for the minute that they had no problem turning a planet into slag from orbit). Full frontal assaults, suicide charges, blindingly following three shady testicle-looking douchebags, and a stupid insistence on fighting "worthy" enemies fairly are all par for the course (granted, they have no problem massacring unarmed civilians or "dishonorable" opponents). There are also numerous examples of otherwise unarmed Elites preferring death over deigning to touch a fully loaded human weapon at their feet. But the most glaring example of their stupidity has to come from the fact that they consider it a [[What|dishonor to either get their own blood shed off the battlefield or become involved in a medical practice]]. This stigma is to such a degree that the Elite Shipmaster who became the Arbiter was secreted away from his keep in the dead of night to visit a doctor (against his will) after he suffered a severe accident during a training session shortly upon his promotion to Shipmaster. Even Klingons aren't that stupid. The only reason they even win against the Jiralhanae (Brutes) is because the Brutes are more Stupid Evil than the Sangheili are Lawful Stupid. [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|Well, that, and the fact that they had allied with the Humans by that point and have been inspired to move past some of their ass-backward stances on medicine and weaponry.]]
* The Nugganite religion, from Terry Pratchett's ''Monstrous Regiment'': the decrees of the Borogravian god Nuggan forbid everything from garlic, chocolate, and the smell of beets, to the color blue and ''babies''. Many Borogravians privately acknowledge that most of Nuggan's Abominations are completely ridiculous (and let the most extreme ones slide, because they're virtually impossible to enforce anyway), even while fretting about which Abominations they're currently committing. Due the way belief works in Discworld, Nugganites came to believe in nothing but the Abominations themselves, which diverted worship away from Nuggan himself. In the end, it's revealed that Nuggan has rotted away until nothing is left but a disembodied voice babbling Abominations nonstop.
* For the literature amateurs, Inspector Javert form ''Les Misérables''. As the author himself explained: the man was built upon two simple and good precepts, namely respect of authority and refusal of rebellion; but he made those look evil in his fanatical exaggeration of them. In a rare occurrence for that kind of character, Javert ends up overcoming the stupid part of the alignment as part of his character arc: When finally faced with a Lawful Good convict, he [[Blam|BLAMs himself]] rather than capture him (or let him go and live as an imperfect cop). Way to get out of a Paladin dilemma.
** As Hugo injected a ton of social criticism in his books, public servants putting the law above morals is a recurring theme. Ninety-Three has Cimourdain, a political commissar during the French Revolution, who ends up condemning his own adoptive son to death for freeing a traitor. Much like Javert, he takes his own life during the execution.
*Speaking of [[Commissar]]s, although protagonists like [[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt|Ibram Gaunt]] or [[Ciaphas Cain]] will mostly be sensible individuals (if only because nobody wants to read about a teamkilling fucktard for a dozen or so books), background commissars in the Imperial Guard are often the epitome of Lawful Stupid: You left your post to report vital intel to Headquarters? That's a summary execution for ya. Even "protagonists" aren't immune to this. [[Severina Raine|Critiqued an order that'd get your men killed but didn't refuse to follow it? That's a summary execution for ya.]]

[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]][[Category:Alignment]][[Category:Stupid Alignments]]

Sorin Markov

2021-10-04T20:06:01Z

2601:281:8080:78B0:B1AD:43AE:FA34:2FF7: /* Rise of the Eldrazi */

[[Image:Sorin main.jpg|500px|thumb|right|Sorin trying on Neo's coat]]
''"Many who cross Sorin's path come down with a sudden and fatal case of being-in-the-way-of-a-millennia-old-vampire"<br> - [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=mortify Mortify flavor text].''

'''Sorin Markov''' is the second mono-black [[Planeswalker]] to be released in [[Magic: The Gathering]], and is themed around the tribal mechanics of Magic's [[Vampire|vampires]] (since he's, y'know, a vampire). He is from the [[Grimdark|grimdark]] plane [[Innistrad]] and is described as being a sangromancer, meaning he can not only drain your life force, but with enough power he can even [[Rape|mind control]] you. That's right, you as in you, the player. Luckily for you this only lasts for one of your turns, but if you've let him get that much Loyalty you're probably fucked anyway. Being a vampire he is extremely goddamn old, coming in third behind the dragons [[Nicol Bolas|Bolas]] and [[Ugin]], and being a vampire [[Mary Sue]] he has been involved in extremely important events, such as sealing [[H.P. Lovecraft|the mind rape Cthulhu beasts]] known as the [[Eldrazi]], and also creating [[Avacyn]], the guardian angel of his homeworld after vampires and demons living there had gotten a little too rambunctious. So far he has been released in four flavours; Sorin Markov, Sorin, Lord of Innistrad, Sorin, Solemn Visitor, and Sorin, Grim Nemesis. (Becoming more and more sparkly with each rendition, like all vampires have been, until Grim Nemesis reduces him to an (admittedly badass) armoured corpse. Hopefully a signal for the future of vampires in other media)

==Background==
Being an old ass motherfucker, Sorin has done quite a bit in his life, which we have just learned about recently. This is to say, we learn more as the writers decide to add more onto his laundry list of achievements. In all fairness though, some of them are pretty damn badass.

===Vampirism===
Many years ago, there lived a man named Edgar Markov. He was an Alchemist in a land called Stensia, which was being swept over with famine. Not wanting to die of hunger like a little bitch, he decided to make a deal with a fucking demon, become a vampire, and then gave Sorin, his grandson, the same gifts given through his totally safe blood ritual. The experience was so horrifying that Sorin's spark awoke and he became a Planeswalker.

Keep in mind this was all well before the mending that nerfed planeswalkers, so Sorin went from being a scared child to being one of the most absurdly powerful beings in the universe. Feels good man, except for the trauma.

===The Eye of Ugin===
After what's assumed to be a few (thousand) years of eating people and brooding about being nigh omnipotent, Sorin decided to get off his lazy ass and do something with his immortal life. This something just so happened to be actually walk the planes, which is when he encountered the rapetastic [[Eldrazi]]. Sorin shat himself and got help from two other planeswalkers: [[Nahiri]] the lithomancer and [[Ugin]] the spirit dragon, who had mastery of colorless magic and somewhat understood the Eldrazi. The plan was for Nahiri and Ugin to make hedrons which would both lure and trap the Eldrazi. When the Eldrazi reached the hedrons, Ugin would anchor them to their physical form (basically their shadows), then "pin" and seal them into the plane with their massive hedron network (with the Eye of Ugin as the control center). Which goes more or less as planned. Nahiri stays behind on Zenikar to closely monitor the network and Eldrazi, while Ugin+Sorin agree to keep their phones on and come back to help if the Eldrazi breach their prison. (Spoiler Alert: they do)

[[File:Sorin Markov Master Troll.jpg|400px|thumb|right|When you live for millennia a man's gotta get his fun somehow.]]

===The Creation of Avacyn===
Over the years, Sorin spent more and more time away from the festering hellpit of Innistrad, but he could see from afar that things were becoming even MOAR GRIMDARK! The vampires were driving the humans back to the brink of annihilation, which is a terrible idea since they need human blood to live and all. This finally forced Sorin's hand to '''DO SOMETHING'''. It was the second time he ever had to do a thing, but this time Sorin had learned that having friends is the key to success.

So he created one.

Sorin forged Avacyn, the guardian angel of Innistrad, to protect humans and keep the balance and all that jazz. Yes, the mono-black vampire Planeswalker specializing in mind-rape and blood-sucking [[Mary Sue|created a mono-white angel]], oldwalkers were overpowered and didn't give a hoot about "color pie". The grateful humans founded the Church of Avacyn in honor of her deeds and protection, while the vampires told Sorin to go fuck himself for stopping their completely unsustainable slaughter.

===Rise of the Eldrazi===
Thousands of years later, [[Chandra Nalaar]], [[Jace Beleren]], and [[Sarkhan Vol]] all collectively shit the bed (possibly manipulated by Bolas) and break the seal on the Eye of Ugin. Luckily this doesn't set the Eldrazi free just yet, so Sorin comes back to help and not let shit devolve further. Unfortunately he immediately met up the exemplar of extreme stupidity, the [[Elf]] planeswalker [[Nissa Revane]].

Sorin told her of his plan to reinforce the Eye, and Nissa agrees to help. When they arrive the magic around the Eye was extremely weak, and so he prepared to do some serious patchwork. But Nissa, in all of her infinite elven wisdom, raised her mighty staff and brought it right down on the structure, completely destroying it. She thought that once the GIGANTIC LOVECRAFTIAN PLANET EATING TENTACLE MONSTERS saw the two of them, they would flee the plane! [[Fail|They didn't]].

Sorin left Zendikar, flipping it the bird as hard as he goddamn could, letting the residents of the plane and Nissa die a horrible death while he looked for Ugin to repair shit before the Eldrazi escaped entirely.

===The Imprisonment of Avacyn===
After this tremendous Eldrazi-related fuck-up, Sorin decided it was time to go home, sit on the couch, and have a nice tall glass of cold blood ale before finding Ugin. But the first thing he noticed was that his waifu Avacyn was nowhere to be found! Vampires and other horrors were back in full force, decimating humanity once again. And demons and devils had joined the party, so now humans could have a side of ass-rape with their being devoured by werewolves, drained by vampires, and possession by spirits. As one could expect, Sorin was just a little bit [[Rage|upset]].

He'd had enough of being civil thanks to good ol' Nissa Revane ruining his plans, and enforced a simple policy; anyone asked a question as to where Avacyn was would provide an answer, and if they got in his way they would die. This [[Inquisitor|inquisitorial]] spree led him to a chance encounter with [[Tibalt]], a demonic little shit who was totally in opposition of any and all rules. But Tibalt had the worst fucking planeswalker card in Magic's history, so Sorin dealt with him as he dealt with any other moron. Sorin discovered his precious real-doll girlfriend was trapped in a giant "totally not another Eye of Ugin" prison called the Helvault with the super powerful demon Griselbrand. But then [[Liliana Vess|Liliana]] released Avacyn and slew Griselbrand (for entirely different and selfish reasons) before Sorin had to actually do anything.

=== Khans/Dragons of Tarkir ===

Sorin goes looking for Ugin so they can fix the hedron network. In the Khans of Tarkir timeline Bolas had killed Ugin thousands of years ago, so Sorin finds his corpse and despairs for the multiverse. But Ugin's just in a coma in the Dragons of Tarkir timeline (the canon timeline) and Sorin wakes him up. Ugin asks Sorin to get Nahiri and meet up on Zendikar, but Sorin is strangely reluctant to fetch this obviously critical ally that crafted the damn thing they're trying to fix. This is because...

=== Shadows Over Innistrad ===
Flashback time! A thousand years ago, the Hedron network weakened just enough for the Eldrazi titans to corrupt some mortals into attacking their prison. Nahiri woke up and easily stopped the immediate threat (being an oldwalker), but to her surprise neither Ugin or Sorin showed up when she sent the alert[http://magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/magic-story/stirring-slumber-2015-05-13]. Ugin was either suffering a minor to severe case of postmortem decomposition or was healing while in a coma, depending on the timeline, so solid excuse either way. Whereas Sorin simply didn't get the message because his planar wards around Innistrad inadvertently blocked it.

Nahiri confronted Sorin about not upholding his small end of the unequal bargain (Nahiri indefinitely watching over and risking her native plane vs Sorin keeping his damn phone on) and asked for his help fixing shit. Instead of fixing shit and/or apologizing and/or explaining his weakened state from recently creating Avacyn, Sorin told her 'Bitch I don't owe you anything' and imprisoned her inside the Helvault indefinitely with a bunch of demons.[https://magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/magic-story/stone-and-blood-2016-06-15] Oldwalkers were dicks.

Liliana breaks the Helvault ~1000 years later, and Nahiri is out to make [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=409941 Sorin suffer by making Innistrad bleed]. So Sorin goes to the vampires that hate him so very much to ask for their help against the powerful foe he arrogantly, idiotically, and needlessly snubbed. To secure the aid of the other vampires, however, he must destroy his one true waifu, Avacyn. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing for Innistrad by this point, given that she'd gone batshit crazy and started going on wanton slaughter rampages.[http://magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/magic-story/promises-old-and-new-2016-04-13]. But Avacyn was irreplaceable - forging her took the full godlike power of pre-mending Sorin and left him weakened - and her death allowed Emrakul to enter the plane.

=== Eldritch Moon ===
While the Gatewatch pranced off to go fight Emrakul, Sorin and an army of Vampires confronted Nahiri at the ruins of the Markov Mansion. Sorin forced Nahiri to planeswalker away, but got shoved into a giant spiky rock that was too painful to planeswalk from. Sensing an easy coup, Olivia left him to die in the rock (and stole his rad sword).

=== War of the Spark ===
Everyone's favorite edge vampire is back, and he is '''pissed'''. Through sheer anger (and the planeswalker beacon providing a focus past his pain or something), he managed to free himself from the rock and is ready to rip Nahiri a new one. So great is their feud that they ignore the whole battle for the multiverse and just try to kill each other, though shit escalates enough towards the end where they reluctantly call timeout and help the Gatewatch.

[[Image:Sorin Markov card.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Sorin Markov]]
[[Image:Sorin, Lord of Innistrad.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Sorin, Lord of Innistrad]]
[[Image:SorinSolemnVisitor.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Sorin, Solemn Visitor]]

==In Play==
Sorin has four iterations in card form so far: Sorin Markov; Sorin, Lord of Innistrad; Sorin, Solemn Visitor; and Sorin, Grim Nemesis.

'''Sorin Markov''' costs 3BBB and starts at a fair 4 loyalty. He has three abilities:

*+2: Drain a creature or player for 2 life, you gain 2 life.
*-3: Target player's life total becomes 10.
*-7: You control target player's next turn.

Overall not too bad. His +2 helps deal with pesky dorks and keeps you alive later on in the game, his -3 is a fantastic tool against life-gain decks, and his ultimate ability can be devastating in the right board state. Quite obviously, Sorin Markov is not an aggressive card, and is much more suited to a more control-based deck, as he can keep you alive and set up for a kill.

Note that his -3 has several cards that will end the game when used in conjunction with it; Sorin's Vengeance, Urza's Rage, and any Fireball/Drain Life variant will do the trick, including the very situational Hidetsugu's Second Rite. Additionally, original Zendikar vampires are often better if you have an opponent with 10 or less life.

'''Sorin, Lord of Innistrad''' is a much lighter 2WB starting at 3 loyalty. He too has three abilities:

*+1: Make a 1/1 black vampire token with lifelink.
*-2: You get an emblem(!!!) with "Creatures you control get +1/+0".
*-6: Destroy up to 3 target creatures and/or planeswalkers, and put them in play on your side of the field from the graveyard.

If you wanted an aggressive Sorin, this is the version you're looking for. His +1 is a little weak, but it does defend him decently enough, and gives him more ammo for his incredible -2. Pumping your team permanently is a fantastic utility for 4 mana, and almost begs a token based strategy to be built around it. His ultimate also allows him to be placed into a more controlling shell, as his dinky tokens will protect both him and you until you can have him ready to pop a few threats away. Again, he's nothing incredible, but still solid for his cost and able to do something game-changing.

Combining him with multiple anthems in a weenie deck can be very powerful as well, as his "anthem" is permanent.

'''Sorin, Solemn Visitor''' costs the exact same as his previous incarnation, but now starts with four loyalty. He continues his trend of having three abilities, all of which have the same loyalty costs as before:

*+1: All of your creatures gain +1/+0 and lifelink until end of turn.
*-2: Put a 2/2 Black Flying Vampire token into play.
*-6: You gain an emblem with "At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, that opponent sacrifices a creature."

'''Sorin, Grim Nemesis''' has the same CMC as his original mono-black incarnation, and enters with 6 loyalty for 4WB:

*+1: Reveal the top card of your library and put that card into your hand. Each opponent loses life equal to its converted mana cost.
*-X: Sorin, Grim Nemesis deals X damage to target creature or planeswalker and you gain X life
*-9: Put a number of 1/1 black Vampire Knight creature tokens with lifelink onto the battlefield equal to the highest life total amongst all players.

An extremely powerful planeswalker, Sorin's +1 is simply insane. If it needs to be explained to you why that ability is gross, read it again. If you still don't understand, you are beyond help. Given that all a smart player will do with Sorin is tick him up for card advantage until you need to use that glorious -X to kill something, using his -9 is often a real possibility in a grindy game, provided you can keep him alive. Not that you would ever use it over the -X for ~11-12 anywhere other than commander. This Sorin fits perfectly in a grindy control deck that can keep him alive to drain your opponent with that incidental damage while you sit back, laugh and draw cards. To be competitive, a high CMC planeswalker card has to two things - protect itself, and generate you a fuckhuge advantage. Sorin excels at the latter, and if you can protect him from the concentrated efforts an intelligent opponent will throw at him, he can and will win the game by himself.

'''Sorin, Vengeful Bloodlord''' is a Rare walker, and enters the field with 4 lotalty for 2WB:

As long as he's on the field, all of your creatures and planeswalkers have lifelink.
*+2: Sorin, Vengeful Bloodlord deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker.
*-X: Return target creature with converted mana cost X from your graveyard to the battlefield. That creature is a Vampire in addition to its other types.

As a lower rarity walker, this version of Sorin is a lot weaker than any of his other incarnations so far. That doesn't mean he can't work but he's going to need some help you want him to shine. He's probably still a little bit tired from getting out of the rock. Though his +2 is rather weak, it's still a +2 ability, meaning you can get his loyalty up really quickly and get stuff from your graveyard just as fast.

{{Template:Planeswalkers}}

Sorin Markov

2021-10-04T20:03:39Z

2601:281:8080:78B0:B1AD:43AE:FA34:2FF7: /* The Imprisonment of Avacyn */

[[Image:Sorin main.jpg|500px|thumb|right|Sorin trying on Neo's coat]]
''"Many who cross Sorin's path come down with a sudden and fatal case of being-in-the-way-of-a-millennia-old-vampire"<br> - [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=mortify Mortify flavor text].''

'''Sorin Markov''' is the second mono-black [[Planeswalker]] to be released in [[Magic: The Gathering]], and is themed around the tribal mechanics of Magic's [[Vampire|vampires]] (since he's, y'know, a vampire). He is from the [[Grimdark|grimdark]] plane [[Innistrad]] and is described as being a sangromancer, meaning he can not only drain your life force, but with enough power he can even [[Rape|mind control]] you. That's right, you as in you, the player. Luckily for you this only lasts for one of your turns, but if you've let him get that much Loyalty you're probably fucked anyway. Being a vampire he is extremely goddamn old, coming in third behind the dragons [[Nicol Bolas|Bolas]] and [[Ugin]], and being a vampire [[Mary Sue]] he has been involved in extremely important events, such as sealing [[H.P. Lovecraft|the mind rape Cthulhu beasts]] known as the [[Eldrazi]], and also creating [[Avacyn]], the guardian angel of his homeworld after vampires and demons living there had gotten a little too rambunctious. So far he has been released in four flavours; Sorin Markov, Sorin, Lord of Innistrad, Sorin, Solemn Visitor, and Sorin, Grim Nemesis. (Becoming more and more sparkly with each rendition, like all vampires have been, until Grim Nemesis reduces him to an (admittedly badass) armoured corpse. Hopefully a signal for the future of vampires in other media)

==Background==
Being an old ass motherfucker, Sorin has done quite a bit in his life, which we have just learned about recently. This is to say, we learn more as the writers decide to add more onto his laundry list of achievements. In all fairness though, some of them are pretty damn badass.

===Vampirism===
Many years ago, there lived a man named Edgar Markov. He was an Alchemist in a land called Stensia, which was being swept over with famine. Not wanting to die of hunger like a little bitch, he decided to make a deal with a fucking demon, become a vampire, and then gave Sorin, his grandson, the same gifts given through his totally safe blood ritual. The experience was so horrifying that Sorin's spark awoke and he became a Planeswalker.

Keep in mind this was all well before the mending that nerfed planeswalkers, so Sorin went from being a scared child to being one of the most absurdly powerful beings in the universe. Feels good man, except for the trauma.

===The Eye of Ugin===
After what's assumed to be a few (thousand) years of eating people and brooding about being nigh omnipotent, Sorin decided to get off his lazy ass and do something with his immortal life. This something just so happened to be actually walk the planes, which is when he encountered the rapetastic [[Eldrazi]]. Sorin shat himself and got help from two other planeswalkers: [[Nahiri]] the lithomancer and [[Ugin]] the spirit dragon, who had mastery of colorless magic and somewhat understood the Eldrazi. The plan was for Nahiri and Ugin to make hedrons which would both lure and trap the Eldrazi. When the Eldrazi reached the hedrons, Ugin would anchor them to their physical form (basically their shadows), then "pin" and seal them into the plane with their massive hedron network (with the Eye of Ugin as the control center). Which goes more or less as planned. Nahiri stays behind on Zenikar to closely monitor the network and Eldrazi, while Ugin+Sorin agree to keep their phones on and come back to help if the Eldrazi breach their prison. (Spoiler Alert: they do)

[[File:Sorin Markov Master Troll.jpg|400px|thumb|right|When you live for millennia a man's gotta get his fun somehow.]]

===The Creation of Avacyn===
Over the years, Sorin spent more and more time away from the festering hellpit of Innistrad, but he could see from afar that things were becoming even MOAR GRIMDARK! The vampires were driving the humans back to the brink of annihilation, which is a terrible idea since they need human blood to live and all. This finally forced Sorin's hand to '''DO SOMETHING'''. It was the second time he ever had to do a thing, but this time Sorin had learned that having friends is the key to success.

So he created one.

Sorin forged Avacyn, the guardian angel of Innistrad, to protect humans and keep the balance and all that jazz. Yes, the mono-black vampire Planeswalker specializing in mind-rape and blood-sucking [[Mary Sue|created a mono-white angel]], oldwalkers were overpowered and didn't give a hoot about "color pie". The grateful humans founded the Church of Avacyn in honor of her deeds and protection, while the vampires told Sorin to go fuck himself for stopping their completely unsustainable slaughter.

===Rise of the Eldrazi===
Thousands of years later, [[Chandra Nalaar]], [[Jace Beleren]], and [[Sarkhan Vol]] all collectively the bed and break the seal on the Eye of Ugin (possibly manipulated by Bolas). Luckily this doesn't set the Eldrazi free just yet, so Sorin comes back to help and not let shit devolve further. Unfortunately he immediately met up the exemplar of extreme stupidity, the [[Elf]] planeswalker [[Nissa Revane]].

Sorin told her of his plan to reinforce the Eye, and Nissa agrees to help. When they arrive the magic around the Eye was extremely weak, and so he prepared to do some serious patchwork. But Nissa, in all of her infinite elven wisdom, raised her mighty staff and brought it right down on the structure, completely destroying it. She thought that once the GIGANTIC LOVECRAFTIAN PLANET EATING TENTACLE MONSTERS saw the two of them, they would flee the plane! [[Fail|They didn't]].

Sorin left Zendikar, flipping it the bird as hard as he goddamn could, letting the residents of the plane and Nissa die a horrible death while he looked for Ugin to repair shit before the Eldrazi escaped entirely.

===The Imprisonment of Avacyn===
After this tremendous Eldrazi-related fuck-up, Sorin decided it was time to go home, sit on the couch, and have a nice tall glass of cold blood ale before finding Ugin. But the first thing he noticed was that his waifu Avacyn was nowhere to be found! Vampires and other horrors were back in full force, decimating humanity once again. And demons and devils had joined the party, so now humans could have a side of ass-rape with their being devoured by werewolves, drained by vampires, and possession by spirits. As one could expect, Sorin was just a little bit [[Rage|upset]].

He'd had enough of being civil thanks to good ol' Nissa Revane ruining his plans, and enforced a simple policy; anyone asked a question as to where Avacyn was would provide an answer, and if they got in his way they would die. This [[Inquisitor|inquisitorial]] spree led him to a chance encounter with [[Tibalt]], a demonic little shit who was totally in opposition of any and all rules. But Tibalt had the worst fucking planeswalker card in Magic's history, so Sorin dealt with him as he dealt with any other moron. Sorin discovered his precious real-doll girlfriend was trapped in a giant "totally not another Eye of Ugin" prison called the Helvault with the super powerful demon Griselbrand. But then [[Liliana Vess|Liliana]] released Avacyn and slew Griselbrand (for entirely different and selfish reasons) before Sorin had to actually do anything.

=== Khans/Dragons of Tarkir ===

Sorin goes looking for Ugin so they can fix the hedron network. In the Khans of Tarkir timeline Bolas had killed Ugin thousands of years ago, so Sorin finds his corpse and despairs for the multiverse. But Ugin's just in a coma in the Dragons of Tarkir timeline (the canon timeline) and Sorin wakes him up. Ugin asks Sorin to get Nahiri and meet up on Zendikar, but Sorin is strangely reluctant to fetch this obviously critical ally that crafted the damn thing they're trying to fix. This is because...

=== Shadows Over Innistrad ===
Flashback time! A thousand years ago, the Hedron network weakened just enough for the Eldrazi titans to corrupt some mortals into attacking their prison. Nahiri woke up and easily stopped the immediate threat (being an oldwalker), but to her surprise neither Ugin or Sorin showed up when she sent the alert[http://magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/magic-story/stirring-slumber-2015-05-13]. Ugin was either suffering a minor to severe case of postmortem decomposition or was healing while in a coma, depending on the timeline, so solid excuse either way. Whereas Sorin simply didn't get the message because his planar wards around Innistrad inadvertently blocked it.

Nahiri confronted Sorin about not upholding his small end of the unequal bargain (Nahiri indefinitely watching over and risking her native plane vs Sorin keeping his damn phone on) and asked for his help fixing shit. Instead of fixing shit and/or apologizing and/or explaining his weakened state from recently creating Avacyn, Sorin told her 'Bitch I don't owe you anything' and imprisoned her inside the Helvault indefinitely with a bunch of demons.[https://magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/magic-story/stone-and-blood-2016-06-15] Oldwalkers were dicks.

Liliana breaks the Helvault ~1000 years later, and Nahiri is out to make [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=409941 Sorin suffer by making Innistrad bleed]. So Sorin goes to the vampires that hate him so very much to ask for their help against the powerful foe he arrogantly, idiotically, and needlessly snubbed. To secure the aid of the other vampires, however, he must destroy his one true waifu, Avacyn. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing for Innistrad by this point, given that she'd gone batshit crazy and started going on wanton slaughter rampages.[http://magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/magic-story/promises-old-and-new-2016-04-13]. But Avacyn was irreplaceable - forging her took the full godlike power of pre-mending Sorin and left him weakened - and her death allowed Emrakul to enter the plane.

=== Eldritch Moon ===
While the Gatewatch pranced off to go fight Emrakul, Sorin and an army of Vampires confronted Nahiri at the ruins of the Markov Mansion. Sorin forced Nahiri to planeswalker away, but got shoved into a giant spiky rock that was too painful to planeswalk from. Sensing an easy coup, Olivia left him to die in the rock (and stole his rad sword).

=== War of the Spark ===
Everyone's favorite edge vampire is back, and he is '''pissed'''. Through sheer anger (and the planeswalker beacon providing a focus past his pain or something), he managed to free himself from the rock and is ready to rip Nahiri a new one. So great is their feud that they ignore the whole battle for the multiverse and just try to kill each other, though shit escalates enough towards the end where they reluctantly call timeout and help the Gatewatch.

[[Image:Sorin Markov card.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Sorin Markov]]
[[Image:Sorin, Lord of Innistrad.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Sorin, Lord of Innistrad]]
[[Image:SorinSolemnVisitor.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Sorin, Solemn Visitor]]

==In Play==
Sorin has four iterations in card form so far: Sorin Markov; Sorin, Lord of Innistrad; Sorin, Solemn Visitor; and Sorin, Grim Nemesis.

'''Sorin Markov''' costs 3BBB and starts at a fair 4 loyalty. He has three abilities:

*+2: Drain a creature or player for 2 life, you gain 2 life.
*-3: Target player's life total becomes 10.
*-7: You control target player's next turn.

Overall not too bad. His +2 helps deal with pesky dorks and keeps you alive later on in the game, his -3 is a fantastic tool against life-gain decks, and his ultimate ability can be devastating in the right board state. Quite obviously, Sorin Markov is not an aggressive card, and is much more suited to a more control-based deck, as he can keep you alive and set up for a kill.

Note that his -3 has several cards that will end the game when used in conjunction with it; Sorin's Vengeance, Urza's Rage, and any Fireball/Drain Life variant will do the trick, including the very situational Hidetsugu's Second Rite. Additionally, original Zendikar vampires are often better if you have an opponent with 10 or less life.

'''Sorin, Lord of Innistrad''' is a much lighter 2WB starting at 3 loyalty. He too has three abilities:

*+1: Make a 1/1 black vampire token with lifelink.
*-2: You get an emblem(!!!) with "Creatures you control get +1/+0".
*-6: Destroy up to 3 target creatures and/or planeswalkers, and put them in play on your side of the field from the graveyard.

If you wanted an aggressive Sorin, this is the version you're looking for. His +1 is a little weak, but it does defend him decently enough, and gives him more ammo for his incredible -2. Pumping your team permanently is a fantastic utility for 4 mana, and almost begs a token based strategy to be built around it. His ultimate also allows him to be placed into a more controlling shell, as his dinky tokens will protect both him and you until you can have him ready to pop a few threats away. Again, he's nothing incredible, but still solid for his cost and able to do something game-changing.

Combining him with multiple anthems in a weenie deck can be very powerful as well, as his "anthem" is permanent.

'''Sorin, Solemn Visitor''' costs the exact same as his previous incarnation, but now starts with four loyalty. He continues his trend of having three abilities, all of which have the same loyalty costs as before:

*+1: All of your creatures gain +1/+0 and lifelink until end of turn.
*-2: Put a 2/2 Black Flying Vampire token into play.
*-6: You gain an emblem with "At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, that opponent sacrifices a creature."

'''Sorin, Grim Nemesis''' has the same CMC as his original mono-black incarnation, and enters with 6 loyalty for 4WB:

*+1: Reveal the top card of your library and put that card into your hand. Each opponent loses life equal to its converted mana cost.
*-X: Sorin, Grim Nemesis deals X damage to target creature or planeswalker and you gain X life
*-9: Put a number of 1/1 black Vampire Knight creature tokens with lifelink onto the battlefield equal to the highest life total amongst all players.

An extremely powerful planeswalker, Sorin's +1 is simply insane. If it needs to be explained to you why that ability is gross, read it again. If you still don't understand, you are beyond help. Given that all a smart player will do with Sorin is tick him up for card advantage until you need to use that glorious -X to kill something, using his -9 is often a real possibility in a grindy game, provided you can keep him alive. Not that you would ever use it over the -X for ~11-12 anywhere other than commander. This Sorin fits perfectly in a grindy control deck that can keep him alive to drain your opponent with that incidental damage while you sit back, laugh and draw cards. To be competitive, a high CMC planeswalker card has to two things - protect itself, and generate you a fuckhuge advantage. Sorin excels at the latter, and if you can protect him from the concentrated efforts an intelligent opponent will throw at him, he can and will win the game by himself.

'''Sorin, Vengeful Bloodlord''' is a Rare walker, and enters the field with 4 lotalty for 2WB:

As long as he's on the field, all of your creatures and planeswalkers have lifelink.
*+2: Sorin, Vengeful Bloodlord deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker.
*-X: Return target creature with converted mana cost X from your graveyard to the battlefield. That creature is a Vampire in addition to its other types.

As a lower rarity walker, this version of Sorin is a lot weaker than any of his other incarnations so far. That doesn't mean he can't work but he's going to need some help you want him to shine. He's probably still a little bit tired from getting out of the rock. Though his +2 is rather weak, it's still a +2 ability, meaning you can get his loyalty up really quickly and get stuff from your graveyard just as fast.

{{Template:Planeswalkers}}