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Sons of the Phoenix

2020-04-22T01:59:47Z

2601:443:47F:3CA0:1958:C7C3:2A2A:98EE:

{{Infobox Spess Mahreen Chapter
|Name = Sons of the Phoenix
|Heraldry = [[File:SoP SP.jpg|250px]]
|Battle Cry = "From the fires of war we rise!"
|Founding = [[Ultima Founding]]
|Successors of = [[Imperial Fists]] (officially), hinted to be [[Emperor's Children]]
|Successor Chapters = None
|Chapter Master = Unknown
|Primarch = [[Rogal Dorn]] (officially), hinted to be [[Fulgrim]]
|Homeworld = Unknown
|Numbers = Unknown
|Allegiance = [[Imperium]]
|Colours = White, purple, and gold
}}

{{Topquote|Oh, ye Omnissiah! My progenoids are ruined! But what if... I were to acquire traitor geneseed and disguise it as Imperial Fists? Hohoho, delightfully devilish, Belisarius!|Belisarius Cawl, moments before Guilliman entered the room}}

{{Topquote|I-Imperial Fists successors?! With that kind of name, with that kind of color scheme, using that kind of warcry, emblazoned with that kind of chapter heraldry?!|Primarch Guilliman, further questioning Cawl about the chapter's questionable details.}} alright there sons of Fulgrim they are shame of his actions and ther tthe worship the emperor as repentance sene they proven there loyalty ok

The Sons of the Phoenix are a loyalist chapter of the [[Adeptus Astartes]], created as part of the Ultima Founding. They are (supposedly) successors of the Imperial Fists. Like their cousins in the [[Black Templars]], the Sons are always crusading, all the time, and they wear a shit-ton of relics, purity seals, and votive candles to show off their devotion to the [[Emperor]].

Apparently, after a grueling battle, some Sons of the Phoenix were taken prisoner by a Thousand Sons warband for experiments, beating [[Fabulous Bile|FABULOUS Bile]] to it.

==Colors and Heraldry==
The Sons of the Phoenix wear off-white power armor, apparently to display their purity. Which is funny because off-white implies stained puri-oh right. The right arm and shoulder and left knee are painted violet, and their chest insignia and shoulder trim are gold. Company markings, unit designations, and specialty insignias are all gold. The squad specialty marking is displayed on the right shoulder, and the company number is displayed as a Roman numeral on either the left knee or inside the squad marking. A smaller company specialty marking is also displayed on the left knee beside the company number.

Curiously, their sergeants and lieutenants have had their helmet markings switched around; Sons of the Phoenix lieutenants wear solid red helmets, while the sergeants wear white helmets with a red stripe.

They are traditionally modeled with many purity seals affixed to their armor, and lit candles on their backpack, and for some weird fucking reason, the vast majority of Sons of the Phoenix players fail to take wind direction into account when converting their models, resulting in candle flames that are not affected by the wind whereas the purity seals and scrolls are, or the other way around. Sometimes they go in completely opposite directions. When this is pointed out to them, they usually explode from the sheer effort required to come up with half-convincing excuses for this blatant oversight.

==Chapter Badge==
The chapter's badge is a black helmet next to a black star. The helmet is crested with lightning bolts, and a swept wing protrudes from the bottom.

==Not At All Suspicious==
The symbols, iconography, name, and color scheme bear no small similarity to pre-heresy [[Emperor's Children]]. Whether this is due to blinding coincidence or the deliberate raising of chapters with traitor legion geneseed is a secret likely known only to Cawl (Guilliman explicitly told Cawl he wasn't allowed to do it - but he has a feeling the Archmagos may have done it anyway behind his back) (also, Cawl might have done it ''before'' asking permission, and then sensibly did not ask for forgiveness). See also the fucking name: ''Sons of the Phoenix''. Yeah. Really subtle, GW. (''For those of you who don't know, the Primarch Fulgrim of the Emperors Children was also known as the Palatine Phoenix, and the Phoenician (which GW [[Pretend|pretends]] [[Derp|means phoenix]]*). Read: Sons of the Phoenix=Sons of Fulgrim'').

Their method of battle is also described as them like to make as much bang, boom, and flash as possible. Add in with "holy men and women" following them like groupies, and you essentially have these guys described as [[Noise Marine|rock stars]].

(* Note: The name Phoenician, like Latin Poenī, comes from Greek Φοίνικες (Phoínikes). The word φοῖνιξ (phoînix) meant variably "Phoenician person", "'''Tyrian purple''', crimson" or "date palm" and is attested with all three meanings already in Homer. The mythical bird phoenix also carries the same name, but this meaning is not attested until centuries later. The word may be derived from φοινός phoinós "blood-red", itself possibly related to φόνος phónos "murder".)

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Sons of the Phoenix.jpg|[[UR-025|He's got purity seals, must be 100% Loyal.]]
</gallery>

{{Marines-Official}}

[[Category:Primaris Marines]]

Sons of the Phoenix

2020-04-22T01:57:55Z

2601:443:47F:3CA0:1958:C7C3:2A2A:98EE:

{{Infobox Spess Mahreen Chapter
|Name = Sons of the Phoenix
|Heraldry = [[File:SoP SP.jpg|250px]]
|Battle Cry = "From the fires of war we rise!"
|Founding = [[Ultima Founding]]
|Successors of = [[Imperial Fists]] (officially), hinted to be [[Emperor's Children]]
|Successor Chapters = None
|Chapter Master = Unknown
|Primarch = [[Rogal Dorn]] (officially), hinted to be [[Fulgrim]]
|Homeworld = Unknown
|Numbers = Unknown
|Allegiance = [[Imperium]]
|Colours = White, purple, and gold
}}

{{Topquote|Oh, ye Omnissiah! My progenoids are ruined! But what if... I were to acquire traitor geneseed and disguise it as Imperial Fists? Hohoho, delightfully devilish, Belisarius!|Belisarius Cawl, moments before Guilliman entered the room}} instead of worship Fulgrim the worship the emperor

{{Topquote|I-Imperial Fists successors?! With that kind of name, with that kind of color scheme, using that kind of warcry, emblazoned with that kind of chapter heraldry?!|Primarch Guilliman, further questioning Cawl about the chapter's questionable details.}}

The Sons of the Phoenix are a loyalist chapter of the [[Adeptus Astartes]], created as part of the Ultima Founding. They are (supposedly) successors of the Imperial Fists. Like their cousins in the [[Black Templars]], the Sons are always crusading, all the time, and they wear a shit-ton of relics, purity seals, and votive candles to show off their devotion to the [[Emperor]].

Apparently, after a grueling battle, some Sons of the Phoenix were taken prisoner by a Thousand Sons warband for experiments, beating [[Fabulous Bile|FABULOUS Bile]] to it.

==Colors and Heraldry==
The Sons of the Phoenix wear off-white power armor, apparently to display their purity. Which is funny because off-white implies stained puri-oh right. The right arm and shoulder and left knee are painted violet, and their chest insignia and shoulder trim are gold. Company markings, unit designations, and specialty insignias are all gold. The squad specialty marking is displayed on the right shoulder, and the company number is displayed as a Roman numeral on either the left knee or inside the squad marking. A smaller company specialty marking is also displayed on the left knee beside the company number.

Curiously, their sergeants and lieutenants have had their helmet markings switched around; Sons of the Phoenix lieutenants wear solid red helmets, while the sergeants wear white helmets with a red stripe.

They are traditionally modeled with many purity seals affixed to their armor, and lit candles on their backpack, and for some weird fucking reason, the vast majority of Sons of the Phoenix players fail to take wind direction into account when converting their models, resulting in candle flames that are not affected by the wind whereas the purity seals and scrolls are, or the other way around. Sometimes they go in completely opposite directions. When this is pointed out to them, they usually explode from the sheer effort required to come up with half-convincing excuses for this blatant oversight.

==Chapter Badge==
The chapter's badge is a black helmet next to a black star. The helmet is crested with lightning bolts, and a swept wing protrudes from the bottom.

==Not At All Suspicious==
The symbols, iconography, name, and color scheme bear no small similarity to pre-heresy [[Emperor's Children]]. Whether this is due to blinding coincidence or the deliberate raising of chapters with traitor legion geneseed is a secret likely known only to Cawl (Guilliman explicitly told Cawl he wasn't allowed to do it - but he has a feeling the Archmagos may have done it anyway behind his back) (also, Cawl might have done it ''before'' asking permission, and then sensibly did not ask for forgiveness). See also the fucking name: ''Sons of the Phoenix''. Yeah. Really subtle, GW. (''For those of you who don't know, the Primarch Fulgrim of the Emperors Children was also known as the Palatine Phoenix, and the Phoenician (which GW [[Pretend|pretends]] [[Derp|means phoenix]]*). Read: Sons of the Phoenix=Sons of Fulgrim'').

Their method of battle is also described as them like to make as much bang, boom, and flash as possible. Add in with "holy men and women" following them like groupies, and you essentially have these guys described as [[Noise Marine|rock stars]].

(* Note: The name Phoenician, like Latin Poenī, comes from Greek Φοίνικες (Phoínikes). The word φοῖνιξ (phoînix) meant variably "Phoenician person", "'''Tyrian purple''', crimson" or "date palm" and is attested with all three meanings already in Homer. The mythical bird phoenix also carries the same name, but this meaning is not attested until centuries later. The word may be derived from φοινός phoinós "blood-red", itself possibly related to φόνος phónos "murder".)

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Sons of the Phoenix.jpg|[[UR-025|He's got purity seals, must be 100% Loyal.]]
</gallery>

{{Marines-Official}}

[[Category:Primaris Marines]]

Black Templars

2020-04-21T00:05:38Z

2601:443:47F:3CA0:1958:C7C3:2A2A:98EE:

{{Infobox Spess Mahreen Chapter
|Name = Black Templars
|Heraldry = [[File:Blacktemplarslogo.png|250px]]
|Battle Cry = "No pity! No remorse! No fear!"
|Number =
|Founding = [[Second Founding]]
|Successors of = [[Imperial Fists]]
|Successor Chapters =
|Chapter Master = [[Helbrecht]]
|Primarch = [[Rogal Dorn]]
|Homeworld = ''Eternal Crusader'' (fleet-based)
|Specialty = Assault, close combat, being massive try-hards
|Strength = Somewhere between 25 thousand at minimum (Reports about their crusades are unsure)
|Allegiance = [[Imperium of Man]]
|Colours = Black and white [[Pauldrons|shoulder pads]]
}}
{{awesome}}

{{topquote|They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you? You will be '''worse'''. [[Rip and Tear]], until it is '''DONE'''.|The only order that matters.}}

{{Topquote|I have dug my grave in this place and I will either triumph or I will die!|Relcusiarch Grimaldus, Hero of Helsreach}}

{{Topquote|WHERE IS YOUR GOD? OH YEAH, HE'S WITH ME NOW!!|Rare Black Templar war cry/motto}}

The '''Black Templars''' are a [[Second Founding]] [[Space Marine Chapter]] of the [[Imperial Fists]]. These [[Space Marines|Space Marines]] are as manly as the [[Manly Marines]] and as angry as the [[Angry Marines]]. They make a hobby of dressing up as the Knights Hospitaller and trolling the Inquisition with their larger-than-Codex-approved numbers. They're righteously angry for the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor]], they're usually close combat focused and their idea of a charge is a giant zerg rush of a hundred angry Crusaders who won't hesitate to skullfuck the nearest alien/mutant/heretic with their powersword just because they look funny. [[Rip and Tear|Although they don't need swords that much...]]

The Black Templars and their iconography are of a mixture of the Knights Templar, Teutonic Knights and the Knights Hospitaller. Basically if you need someone's shit pushed in hard by a power armored fist, these are the guys you call.

==About the Black Templars==
[[Image:Blacktempbeinbadass.jpg|thumb|left|"I came here to Purge Heretics and pray in chapels of the Emperor. And I don't see any Chapels."]]

The Black Templars have their origins in the first company of the [[Great Crusade]]-Era Imperial Fists, a group originally known as the Templar Brethren. They wore all-black armor and had black crosses on their right pauldron and shields, and were sworn to protect the Temple of Oaths (OK, the reality is that [[Forge World]] wanted to justify including Black Templars into [[Horus Heresy]]. They're really more Templar than Imperial Fist at this point already). Their Commander and First Captain of the Imperial Fists, [[Sigismund]], started the tradition of the Emperor's Champion, in which a Templar would challenge the enemy's champions to single combat. After the Heresy had ended and [[Roboute Guilliman]] called for the [[Second Founding]], Sigismund took his Templar Brethren to found the Black Templars.

They express their [[Rage|fury]] through burning [[Codex Astartes|heretical texts]] (as kindling for the actual heretics), pwning [[furry|mutants]], [[Angry Marines|and skull fucking aliens]]. But you might say, "Isn't that what every other Spess Mehreen chapter does?" Well you'd be right, but they are the most pro-active about it, celebrations on finishing one Crusade involve declaring a new Crusade, recruits are taken from all the planets they've been on then sent to join the fighting so that they never have to slow down, and they usually fight by zerg rushing their enemies with hundreds (and sometimes thousands) of heavily power armoured super humans holding power weapons while screaming a litany of curses at the top of their superhuman lungs. Also unlike other Chapters, they don't have scout teams, as they think they're not righteously angry enough. Instead all new Neophytes (read: meatshields) are given some crap and schooled in the field by a fully appointed Marine (called an "Initiate").

Basically, the Black Templars focus on ''winning'' and ''killing everything'' as opposed to the normal Space Marine actions which prioritize glory and challenges. Most Space Marines would see a concentration of powerful enemies and charge in guns blazing. A Black Templar would call in a Whirlwind strike and walk on their corpses. To them, glory comes from simply murderizing the absolute '''''fuck''''' out of the enemies of man. They come in like a hurricane of death instead of the normal Astartes "Knights in SPAAAAACEEE!!!" shtick. They are not space monks, though they are pious. They are not knights, though they look the part. They are single-minded slaughter machines that retain just enough humanity to relate to...and just little enough to evoke deep dread in all who cross their path. This might also be part of the reason for their high numbers. Since they're so focused on just plain winning, they don't stupidly endanger themselves when a more effective and efficient method is available. They also fight to win rather than to show how powerful they are or to strike fear into the heart of the enemy or boost friendly morale or anything. They don't bother with that stuff, that's what the Emperor's Champion is for. No, the Black Templars just fucking '''kill'''.

The Black Templars are '''THE''' largest loyalist ([[Derp|"codex following"]]) chapter, estimated to have at least over two thousand marines in their ranks. This is primarily because the Black Templars sometimes split their crusade fleets to achive different campaing goals and they're scattered throughout the galaxy so the correct number of Templars in active service is only known by [[Helbrecht]], himself High Marshal of the Black Templars. This means that their chapter alone could wipe out the [[Tau|weeaboo communists]] or almost [[Rape|every faction]] if they were drawn together in one place. Of course this would twist the nipples of the Inquisition and move the setting of 40k along, so don't expect it to happen anytime soon (read:ever). Unfortunately they're unwilling to fight beside psykers except for Grey Knights, they got all buddy-buddy with them fairly quickly, enough so that they willingly shared the STCs for the [[Land Raider|Land Raider Crusader]] with them, mind-wipes not withstanding of course. They are descended from the [[Imperial Fists]], but obviously got more of Dorn's angry [[Gene Seed|splooge]] than his [[Imperial Fists|patient splooge]]. They sometimes get to wear cool Crusader helms, which are at least ten times as [[Awesome|awesome]] as the [[beakie]]s' Corvus helms.

The new Space Marines codex has changed several things about the chapter. It now states they worship the Emperor as a God like the larger Imperium and they have close ties with the Ecclesiarchy. This also makes them good friends with the [[Sisters of Battle]], whom they regularly team up with and have several alliances with. Emperor pity the heretics who have to face both of these groups of zealous nutters at once.

Alternatively, you could choose to ignore the fluff in the new codex that says that they worship the Emperor, as it is wrong and demonstrates a clear Ward-like level of disregard for previous, and better, fluff as it also says that out of all Astartes chapters, only the Black Templars worship the Emperor. This contradicts several novels that say the chapters they revolve around worship him. The first that come to mind are James Swallows series on the Blood Angels. THEN there's the fact that Grimaldus, the Black Templars' High Chaplain (you know, guy who knows better than anyone else what they believe), said that they DO NOT worship him in ADB's sequel to Helsreach, Blood and Fire.

<s>Shame the newer fluff decanonizes the old, but advancement is advancement.</s> Games Workshop says ''everything is canon'' so the debate is pointless. Besides, GW itself consistently holds that Space Marines do not worship the Emperor. GW lore even goes into details explaining that the Imperium accepts it as a quirk due to them being so physically and spiritually close to him that he only ''seems'' less divine to the Space Marines. The Inquisition and Ecclesiarchy don't like it, though. So, we have GW say "everything is canon" (In a multiple layers of reality due to Warp fuckery sort of way) and we have GW ''also'' saying that Space Marines do not worship the Emperor. Since they ''own'' Warhammer 40,000 we can safely say that Space Marines not worshiping the Emperor is the norm but there might be exceptions. Of which the Black Templars are not among them. They're utterly fanatical in enforcing the Emperor's will. Not what the Ecclesiarchy or Imperial Senate claims is his will, but his actual will. They refuse to work with (and often butcher) psykers because the Emperor said psykers and sorcery were no-nos. Logically, this means they would also respect his decree not to worship him and that he is not a god. The Black Templars were a Second Founding Chapter, so they would be fully aware of that.

As a curious aside, the Chapter's "fuck the man" policy has lead them to collect some odd friends. They are the only known allies for a few chapters, including the [[Celestial Lions]], [[Libators]], and [[Star Phantoms]].

==Accomplishments==
*Vowing to go on an Eternal Crusade as part of their deal during the Second Founding and [[awesome|keeping it going non-stop for 10,000 years without getting killed or so diminished they had to settle down to rebuild!]] (Which is a really impressive feat even for superhuman Astartes.) Although the [[Horus Heresy]] novels have revealed that Sigismund didn't start this voluntarily, he was ''exiled'' by [[Rogal Dorn]], and a lot of their more notable traits - like their absolute hatred of psykers - stems from Sigismund's [[butthurt]] over how he got exiled in the first place.
*Not forgetting about the Chaos Space Marines who fled into the Eye of Terror. When Abaddon and company first busted back out of the Eye of Terror, Sigismund was up in their business within the hour. And he nearly killed Abaddon.
*Taking back a hundred planets that were stolen by the [[Tau|blue space socialists]] after the Ultramarines realized the Tyranids were heading their way and left.
*Killing an alien psyker and accidentally blowing out ten billion astropaths in the process, <del>[[Derp|oops]]</del> [[Just As Planned|just as planned]]. To be fair, said psyker was too powerful to let live and the Black Templars didn’t know its power would explode (which implies this was not normal for psykers).
*Wiping out countless alien species and actually sparing one alien species that was worshiping "The Voice of the Emperor" when they got there. They only destroyed their temples just in case this voice wasn't [[Emperor|talking about who they thought it was.]]
*Successfully capturing [[Cypher]]! Then they were [[Fallen_Angels#Ophidium_Gulf_Crusade_incident|forced at gunpoint to hand him off]] to the Dark Angels chapter [[Just As Planned|where he almost immediately escapes.]]
*The Second Siege of Terra! When some crazy ass High Lord of Terra named Goge Vandire [[Age of Apostasy|usurped all power in Imperium]], thinking that he can do everything he wants, he wiped out some Templar fortresses with orbital strikes and when they found out they got all righteous angry! Assisting '''[[Sebastian Thor]]''', the Templars gather around a thousand Crusaders and along with some other Chapters as well as the Martian techno-guard; the Black Templars, with all fury, wage a frakkin second siege of Terra! (The insignificant detail they did get fought to a stalemate by the [[Sisters of Battle|bolter bitches]] until [[Adeptus Custodes|Big E.'s guardians]] told the lasses Vandire was a heretic tends to get glossed over. IMPERATORIS VULT!)

==Organization==
Since the Imperial Fists told [[Roboute_Guilliman|Papa Smurf]] to go fuck himself and his [[Codex Astartes|Codex]], the Black Templars have an organization different from Codex Chapters. They organize themselves into Fighting Companies, with much of it on the fly. Their ranks and positions include:

*'''High Marshal''': The Chapter Master of the Black Templars, who decides which Crusades the Black Templars will participate in, without bothering for an okay from the [[High Lords of Terra]]. [[Helbrecht]] serves as the current High Marshal. Interestingly enough, in their original Codex the High Marshal and regular Marshals typically do not go face to face with the enemy (to the point where Helbrecht never actually touched down in the Third War for Armageddon, he stayed in space dictating the orbital battle), [[Reasonable Marines|Marshals and High Marshals prefer to stay back assessing the battlefield]] and advising the various squads through their communicators about where they should strike and shoot to make the most out of their troops.
*'''Marshal''': The commander of a Crusade, a Marshal is equivalent to a Captain, they're the ones that lead the individual Crusades. When a Crusade is called and there is no Marshal to lead it a candidate is chosen from among the sword brethren and if the High Marshal thinks he is fit for the task appointed Marshal. There has only ever been one case of a candidate being rejected by the High Marshall. It is from the ranks of the Marshals that the new High Marshal is picked should he fall in battle.
*'''Emperor's Champion''': Before an undertaking usually during battle preparations, one of the Black Templars may have a vision granted by the Emperor. This knight will be declared by the [[Chaplain]]s to be the Emperor's Champion, as their founder Sigismund was ten millennia ago. He will be given the Black Sword and the Armour of Faith, and serve as an inspiration to the rest of the Crusading host. As with the first Emperor's Champion, Sigismund, it is the sole duty of those who bear the title to seek out and challenge any enemy champion the crusading force meets in battle. Things usually go badly if a Crusade doesn't have an Emperor's Champion. If he is killed before his mission is complete it is considered an ill omen indeed. It is unknown what happens to the knight who is chosen after the completion of a Crusade as none have been shown to survive long enough for it to matter. Other chapters, most usually Imperial Fist's successors, occasionally have an Emperor's Champion who serves a similar purpose but without the artifacts.
*'''Castellan''': The lieutenants of the Marshal, a temporary position chosen by the Marshals (one guy cannot be everywhere) and who is a Castellan can vary depending on the current Crusade or even the current battle ([[Reasonable Marines|pick who's best to lead the current fight]]). The Castellans lead the Fighting Companies of a Crusade, and they're also chosen from the Sword Brethren.
*'''Sergeant''': The only Codex rank the Black Templars employ. Also from the Sword Brethren (notice a pattern, yet?).
*'''Sword Brethren''': Roughly analogous to Veterans in Codex Chapters, Sword Brethren are the senior battle brothers of the Marshal. They also get to use [[Terminator]] armour.
*'''Initiates''': Rank and file battle-brothers. Marines (typically Neophytes) dying around them has a beneficial effect on Initiates, making them run harder into enemy gunfire for reasons unknown and oft-speculated upon.
*'''Neophytes''': While most Chapters have their neophytes serve in some sort of recon force, the Black Templars have their new Space Marines join the Crusade at the front lines and hit the ground running. Given that this has worked for ten thousand years, they may be onto something. Every Neophyte is assigned to an Initiate who is to train and tutor them. The Neophyte serves as the apprentice to the Initiate, sort of like Jedi in [[Star Wars]] but the Neophyte gets smacked if they even dare bitch about sand. They are also quite useful to Initiates to use as shields (literally) in battle.

===Chapter Strength===
[[Image:Praykillburn.jpg|400px|thumb|right|It's a lot like this, really.]]
Despite being a Codex Chapter (well, they're a Codex Chapter as of the newest Codex), they basically just cherry pick whatever they want from it. In particular, they're exploiting a loophole in the Codex Astartes that says a Crusading Chapter can go above the limit of 1,000 Marines, because they don't have a Fortress Monastery, a disastrous campaign or Warp mishap could destroy the entire Chapter if not for this stipulation. The Black Templars, however, take this to mean "have as many Marines as you want!" Seeing as they have multiple Crusades at once, they must be the best Marines around. Seeing as every other Crusading Chapter has roughly a thousand Marines (usually less). Guess that's what happens when you genuinely embrace righteous fury and unleash it upon the alien, the mutant, and the heretic.

However, it's not actually clear how many Marines they actually ''have.'' Some [[neckbeards]] (both fanboys and bitter opponents) exaggerate the actual numbers, referring to them as [[First Founding#Legions in 40k|legion strength]] and/or believing that their numbers are figuratively ''without limit'' and end up with ridiculously high guesses. Given the vagaries of in-universe time due to warp phenomena and the inevitable depletion of assets due to the nature of their work, as well as the fact that they have shit record keeping due to a complete lack of [[Librarian]]s, the actual number of active Templars would be in constant flux.

In ''Blood and Fire,'' Grimaldus mentions that they typically have dozens of Crusades going on at any point in time; [[Deathwatch (RPG)|other sources]] tell us that the Black Templars as an entire Chapter actually consist of a total of three '''"primary"''' Crusade fleets from which all other fighting companies are split from and deployed on their own '''"secondary"''' Crusades when necessary. This coincides with the original codex, which said that there were usually no more than three Crusades at any given time but that they can stretch themselves according to necessity, and states that in one exceptional case there were up to fourteen Crusades operating in the Segmentum Solar during the Treachery of Dalmark.

If we were to base the numbers off the estimate in the back of the 4th edition Codex: Black Templars, the deployment map totals greater than 6000 marines, with several of those Crusades routinely exceeding 500 marines. But when you factor in normal redeployment over the years that number isn't very helpful as many of those Crusades were finished by the time others arose. When you consider it like that, [[Blood Angels|many]] [[Minotaurs|other]] [[Dark Angels|chapters]] have deployed en masse over the years and would also generate a similar deployment map. Furthermore, only a handful of Crusades numbered relatively close to one thousand, with only Armageddon passing it, with 1,232 Marines total and even that number was questioned (?) by the author; for this campaign, High Marshal [[Helbrecht]] was said to have mustered three crusades.

So we can either take it as written in the Order of Battle that the three crusades represent the "normal" three crusades and hence the entire chapter, giving us an absolute ''minimum'' of over 1000 marines, or we can assume that the three crusades are not the primary crusades at all, which still doesn't give us much of an indication of the chapter size, leaving us at square one.

To make things even more confusing, each Crusade will be accompanied by a '''Black Sword''' and a set of the Armour of Faith, to be used by the Emperor's Champion. The 4E codex said that every Crusade and fighting company would have its own Champion, but the 6E Codex and the newer novels changed this older fluff and said that there could only be a ''single'' Champion in the entire Chapter at any given time, and that only a handful arise every century. Plus, there are only ten Black Swords in the Chapter and they are held by the Chaplains, just in case they find the Champion within their Crusade. This implies that there can only be ten Crusades active at any one time; hence, if the three Crusades at Armageddon, taken to be around 1,232, are three-tenths of the Chapter's overall size, the Black Templars have around 4,000 marines.

However, the novel ''Eternal Crusader'' flat-out says that the whole Chapter could gather together on the [[Battle-barge|Eternal Crusader]] itself and barely tax the capabilities of the vessel, and that ''"the mere'"'' 200 marines of Helbrecht's Crusade, which constituted one fifth of the Black Templars' total forces, meant that the vessel was mostly empty, making them far more Chapter sized. The book also shows High Marshal Helbrecht purposefully exaggerating the size of his contingent at Armageddon from 400 marines to 900 in order to gain overall command of the Astartes forces that had arrived ''(many Chapters had brought a lot more men than the Templars, and would have had more right to overall command)''. Helbrecht would later leave Armageddon briefly to muster [[A Game of Pretend|"more"]] Black Templars ''(but only bringing the number up to what he promised)'', so it is easy to see how the size of his contingent would be misleading to an outside observer.

The old Codex also suggested somewhere between 5000-6000 ''"if certain accounts are to be believed"'' which places a level of uncertainty on the number, and if you consider the above statement would sound reasonable if you took Helbrecht at his word about the availability to Black Templar soldiers and could easily show how the Administratum has been misled into thinking the Templars are much larger than they actually are. [[Aaron Dembski-Bowden|A-D-B]] also suggested about 6000 in an offhand comment; therefore, it is currently our highest reasonable upper limit without resorting to guesses.

----
[https://guyhaley.wordpress.com/2014/07/11/im-baaaacccckkk/#comment-5779 The author of ''Eternal Crusader'' later acknowledged on his blog that the Black Templars could have maintained extreme numbers in the past, but that the overall strength of the Chapter was reduced to a thousand (more or less) as result of a corporate decision by GW, not just of the codex authors.] Heresy!

It is perhaps best to repeat the Black Library's own take on the fluff: 40k is in the fucking dark ages and everything written down could be a legend, propaganda, an event that happened, or a rumor based on a real event. Any guess as to the number of Marines in the Black Templars is just that, a guess, and a book offers only the author's point of view, or what he wants you to think, or he himself is a fabrications.

8th Edition still maintains the information confusion over the Black Templar's actual numbers, just like before. While the Imperial Index states that ''"each Black Templars battle-fleet contains thousands of warriors."'' The actual Space Marine Codex states that "''the size of each can vary from several battle-brothers to several hundred"'' and though it says there is no fixed number of Crusades, they are still each accompanied by a Black Sword in case the Emperor's Champion arises, and there are still only nine swords (Guilliman destroyed one to defeat Skarbrand during the events of Rise of the Primarch). So all told, not much seems to have changed, fanboys and opponents can believe what they want.

==On Psykers==
For most of their history the Black Templars didn't have any Librarians. This was generally thought as a pretty simple fact, they hate all forms of witches. They even have a special rule call "Abhor the Witch". That was until 6th edition when it was more explicitly stated that they had no real compunction against Astropaths and Navigators, since they were the only people who knew how to drive the massive Crusading fleets (pure undadulterated HOLY RAGE!! can't steer a ship through the Warp after all). Of course, this was always true since the BT always accepted those psykers that the Emperor himself had sanctioned (although they watched them closely), which includes Astropaths, Navigators and (surprise, surprise) the Grey Knights. Which invalidates the logic of the following paragraph.

According to the GW apologists, the major difference between their codex and 6E is their opinion on other psykers: In previous works, it was made pretty clear that they wouldn't suffer the witch no matter who they were (except for the aforementioned groups the Emperor sanctioned personally), and as such literally couldn't ally with any other psyker-using force except for the Grey Knights (and even then, it was AoC (Note: "AoC" is a 6th Ed construct)). Come the 6E Codex however, suddenly all their hatred for every psyker was scaled back to merely just being a hatred to all enemy psykers. Some may call this fluff-rape and all that in their neckbearded [[RAGE]], but others realize that setting up tons of restrictions would ultimately serve to cripple the Templars and ultimately just kept things easier by just generalizing it, to say nothing of the fact that the Emperor himself was a psyker. Not to mention the whole organization of sanctioned psykers used by the Imperium. Those guys were permitted to operate by...uh...someone, right? If it was the Imperial Senate, then they speak with the Emperor's voice, so the Black Templars can suck it. If it was literally anyone else with that kind of authority then it would be someone even closer to the Emperor in authority than merely his voice. So, the general hatred of psykers just isn't feasible anyway.

So it was changed. The Black Templars hatred is only towards alien and rogue psykers and that they have great respect for the ones in the fleet. So why no Librarians? There are three <s>theories</s> hypothesis in the codex:

*They still enforce the Edict of Nikaea. Considered most likely, given their [[Crunch|special rule]] "Abhor the Witch!"
*A gene-seed defect.
*They lost them during The Howling.

A small part of it likely has to do with their recruiting process. Since they recruit from the worlds they Crusade on, and they spend a decent amount of time purging renegade psykers, there probably aren't any psykers left for them to recruit and they're not likely to recruit Psykers found by somebody else. It still doesn't explain why they've never had a recorded incident of latent Psykers awakening once they've been recruited.

Rather hilariously, the Black Templars are not even certain why they don't have Librarians; because the Librarius usually maintains the records of the chapter, the Templars have allowed their understanding of history to fall into decay. For the time being, they have come to the conclusion that the loss of the Librarius is simply part of the Emperor's grand design, and should he see fit to bless them with Librarians again they would gladly use them.

Given how the Warp (and 40K in general) works as a genuine Clap Your Hands If You Believe setting, it could be that the Black Templar's own hatred of psykers causes any psykers or latent psykers they didn't realize were such to either become non-psykers or simply inactive/latent and remain that way.

==Notable members==
*''[[Sigismund]]'': First Chapter Master/Soul brother who made the chapter when Dorn broke the Legion up.
*''High Marshal [[Helbrecht]]'': Their current Chapter Master. Gets fucked up by Imotekh the Stormlord who proceeds to take his arm as a trophy. Helbrecht then manages to destroy his entire fucking flagship as retaliation. Currently on <s>a manhunt for [[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]] alongside [[Commissar Yarrick]]</s> Crusade to drive Chaos away from some Shrine Worlds.
*''Chaplain [[Grimaldus]]'': THE most badass [[Chaplain]] in the entire Godsdamn Imperium, with the possible exception of [[Lemartes]]. He fought the biggest Ork WAAAGH in history on a very old temple that had relics and artifacts that were sacred to the Imperium. The battle only ended after the temple collapsed and buried every Ork and Marine under the rubble. But since Grimaldus was too badass to die, he crawled out of the temple with a few relics he managed to save. And besides the guy has the word [[Grimdark|grim]] in his fucking name! How can he not be badass? The main caveat about his description is in his depiction in the book Helsreach, featuring Grimaldus' service in Armageddon leading up to his title as "Hero of Helsreach", where we learn he is equally skilled at tantrum-throwing/sulking, as he is kicking lots of ork ass. But to be fair, this isn't the Grimaldus we know and love as first. Helsreach is about him manning up under constant pressure, him finding he has to stop feeling like he has to be his old boss's bitch all the time and learning to be the butch. He does manage to man up and becomes the badass we all know and love (by the end of things, like, the very last second before a cathedral falls on him and knocks him out and not a second sooner). Plus, he had the stones to do it all WITHOUT A [[ROSARIUS]].
*''[[Tankred]]'': He who endures. Also is partial to bitches.
*''High Marshal Ludoldus'': A previous High Marshal notable for having led the Templars during two Crusades that were separated by over 2000 years, specifically the Vinculus Crusade (833.M41) and the Jerulas Crusade (645.M39). Considering that he was already High Marshall by the time of Vinculus, one can only conclude that Ludoldus was FUCKING OLD... and totally blows [[Dante]] out of the water as the guy even has ''old'' in his fucking name.
*''Castellan Draco'': notable role in the Vinculus crusade, notably in killing Inquisitor Lord Vinculus after he got possessed, but not after his own losses; that is, he got buried in rubble after lacing the cult's massive fortress with explosives. For his valiant efforts, he got his lost parts replaced with bionics, a relic suit of armour and Lord Vinculus' sword. Declared Excommunicate Traitoris in IF supplement, becoming the first SM special character with a model who turned traitor in 40k.
* ''High Marshal Bohemond'': Led the Chapter during the War of the Beast.
* ''Marshal Magneric'' See Tankred above imagine if he was in command of his own Crusade. Unlike most dreadnoughts he still kept his name and rank and rarely slept which made him into a crazy fanatic (and implied to be the source of the religious zeal) spends most of his days hunting his old BFF Warsmith Kalkator until Orks of The Beast showed up.

==Daily Rituals of a Black Templar==
Think [[Angry Marines]] but with less copious cursing.
* 03:50: Morning Call to Prayer: Initiates awaken their respective Neophytes from their comfortable slumber on bare stone floors. This often involves buckets of ice water, vox-casters playing hymns with the volume control knob broken off, or a power armor shod foot up the ass depending on the Initiate in question. Complaints that this awakening occurred ten minutes prior to scheduled reveille are met with readmistration of the waking aid.
* 04:00: Morning Prayer: Neophytes are berated for their perceived failings by their responsible Initiates, who are in turn berated by the Sword Brethren, the Sword Brethren by the Castellans, up to the Marshal who berates the entire Fleet then swears a solemn vow to an icon of the Emperor that they will do better and prove themselves worthy by stabbing heretics in the throat with their swords. Tactics may also be discussed and orders of battle issued, assuming they involve rushing headlong at the enemy.
* 05:00: Morning Firing Rites: The Initiates school their apprentices on the art of shooting xenos in the face while simultaneously swinging a chainsword. This shooting preferably occurs while rushing across the active firing range in order to close with the target and hit it with the bolt pistol if possible.
* 07:00: Morning Battle Practice: Initiates inform their neophytes that if they are done being cowardly whelps they may now avail themselves of a sword with which to stab shit.
* 11:55: Milk and cookies break. Any neophytes stupid enough to drink milk or eat cookies in front of their Initiate gets their meal pushed in their noses and eyeballs respectively. Things get interesting if they dipped their cookies in their milk.
* 12:00: Midday Prayer: Neophytes are told how poorly they did during the morning exercises, any sense of pride or joy is rooted out. The Marshal leads the Fleet in prayer and promises the Emperor they will kill more things even more righteously this afternoon.
* 13:00: Midday Meal: The chapter serfs provide cold cuts for the Brothers' enjoyment. Lunchmeat is usually collected by the serfs following each battle and stored in the ships' freezers. Naturally, Neophytes do not get something to eat yet as the Initiates insult them for even assuming they get to eat. The Neophytes soon learn that the Emperor has a sense of humor when the Initiates are informed that only Sword Brethren on up are allowed to eat.
* 13:15: Tactical Indoctrination: Locations of the vital organs and blood vessels of xenos species that may be encountered on the current Crusade and the weak spots of Daemons are reviewed, occasionally an Initiate will cuff his Neophyte on the back of the head and reiterate "Yes that, you stab that retard." Other tactics may also be discussed as long as they involve inserting blades into things.
* 14:00: Afternoon Battle Practice: Initiates attempt to kill their Neophyte with a power sword. If the Neophyte is not dead in four hours he passes muster.
* 18:00: Evening Firing Rites: Neophytes are instructed in how to operate heavy and specialty weaponry dropped by their responsible Initiate when he abandons it so that he may swing his sword with both hands to better kill shit or is eaten by a monstrous creature which he bravely <s>(read:stupidly)</s> (read:RIGHTEOUSLY) tried to skullfuck in CQC.
* 20:00: Evening Prayer: After short session of critique and berating, the Emperors' Champion leads a sermon about how awesome the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emprah]] is and how much He wants them to bifurcate/decapitate the current heretics/mutants/xenos they are fighting with power weapons.
* 21:00: Evening Meal: A feast is served by the chapter serfs. Alcohol and anything that has a pleasant taste will not be consumed as the Emperor looks down on those that enjoy life. No hamburger, no cheeseburgers, no french fries, no milkshakes, no potato chips; you will drink water distilled from the Fleet's waste/reactor AND LIKE IT!
* 21:30: Night-fighting/zero-gravity exercises: Initiates instruct their charges on stabbing things by the glow of a power sword and how to fight in a zero-gravity environment without jump packs (stab foe, use corpse as a springboard to assault another foe, repeat).
* 23:15: Wargear Maintenance: Initiates encourage Neophytes to keep weapons in proper working order with phrases like, "Sharpen your shit you incompetent bastard" as the Emperor reserves great disdain for those that kill heretics with dull blades.
* 23:45: Free time: The Initiate is free to challenge his Neophyte to a short duel. Wounds heal better during sleep anyway.
* 00:00 Rest period: The Initiate sees his Neophyte off to bed, with one last punch to the face to help him fall asleep. The Sword Brethren then punch the Initiates in the face before they retire for rest period.

Note that this constitutes a day off for a Black Templar. A working day will involve 23 hours of rushing monstrous creatures with melee weapons. Neophytes are expected to pull bullet sponge duty so the Initiate is not distracted by little things like enemy gunfire (and that their spilled blood will allow the Initiates to glide on the ground to their enemy faster) as seen here:

===Black Templar Combat Training===
Brother-Initiate Teuton McTemplar: "Neophyte, get your ass over here and hold my Lascannon while I charge that [[Carnifex]] with my Power Fist!"

Neophyte Hans Wolfgang: "But sir I have not yet earned my power armour and a Lascannon weighs 100 kilos..."

Brother-Initiate Teuton McTemplar: "You are going to pick up that spotlight and burn some fucking xenos, and you are going to like it!"

Note: It would be nice if this could happen, but in reality, you can only arm Neophytes with shotguns or bolt pistols with CCWs, though you were able to arm an initiate with both a Lascannon and a Power Fist in their original codex. Hilariously too you could go completely overboard and have one marine armed with a Power fist, three bolt pistols (or two bolt pistols and a bolter), a Chainsword, a Power Weapon, a Heavy Bolter, a Missile Launcher (or a Multi-Melta), a Lascannon, and a Plasma Cannon [[Obliterators|ALL AT THE SAME TIME]] (though while funny is still a terrible thing to put on the battlefield as he can still only fire one per turn, pistols notwithstanding). Talk about a jack of all trades...

==See Also==
*[[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Black Templar|Tactics/Black Templar]]
*Their [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lrs9nIITQk| theme] by [[HMKids]].
*Also their [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0TzUNti3rY| theme] by Andrew W.K.
*Their [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyAEBux88hw| '''ONE TRUE ULTIMATE THEME] by [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqGKtkZ8-MlAeTVL0fFAMnw| StringStorm].
*An accurate representation of their daily lives https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaUi8Dv73hA
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUplioG2DC4| The unofficial animated version of Helsreach.]
*Their thoughts on [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrJVZZLv2GE| furfags. ]
*Their continued campaign against the [https://youtu.be/j02V_34PXZg| furfags. ]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Templar Terminator.jpg|Actually pretty nice guys, once you get to know them.
Image:1206768954856.jpg|They also like to sing.
Image:howdoipurge.png
Image:bffs.jpg
Image:Imheretopurgehereticsandchewbubblegumandimalloutofbubblegum.jpg|Look at them hips.
Image:Black templar terminator by deadxcross.jpg|When you want to purge as much Heretics and Xenos as possible.
Image:A not so Little Sister by DeadXCross.jpg|They can even inspire zealots of their own.
Image:PURGINGWITHMYKIN.gif|The Black Templars' name does not corelate to the other Second Founding Imperial Fists because [https://youtu.be/0Vh_N8CpcL0?t=1208 they are absolute lunatics]
</gallery>

{{Template:Marines-Official}}

Space Wolves

2020-04-21T00:04:01Z

2601:443:47F:3CA0:1958:C7C3:2A2A:98EE:

{{cleanup}}
{{Infobox Spess Mahreen Chapter
|Name = Space Wolves / Vlka Fenryka
|Heraldry = [[File:Spacewolveslogo.png|200px]]
|Battle Cry = "For Russ and the All father!", "Woof woof!"|Number = VI
|Founding = [[First Founding]]
|Original Name = The Rout
|Successor Chapters = [[Wolf Brothers]]<BR>[[Wolfspear]]
|Chapter Master = [[Logan Grimnar]]
|Primarch = [[Leman Russ]]
|Homeworld = [[Fenris]]
|Specialty = CQC, shock assaults, infantry,corgi warfare, encirclement tactics
|Strength = 12000, fluff is vague
|Allegiance = [[Imperium of Man]]
|Colours = Grey-blue and Yellow
}}
{{topquote|Let a man never stir on his road a step without his weapons of war; for unsure is the knowing when need shall arise of a [[Wolfspear|spear]] on the way without.|Havamal}}

{{Topquote|FUCKING FURRIES!!!|[[Magnus the Red]] when Space Wolves are mentioned near him}}

The '''Vlka Fenryka''' (Internally called The Rout, known to the wider Imperium and most of the fans as the Space Wolves) are a loyalist Chapter of [[Viking]]-inspired [[Space Marines]]. They're as [[Manly Marines|manly]] as the Angry Marines are [[Angry Marines|angry]]. They're basically what you'd get if you turned an entire frat-house into Space Marines and set them loose. Big fans of wolves. Extremely [[Viking|Nordic]], very melee oriented, and often found drinking and feasting when not at war. Given that they're honor and legacy obsessed Nordic melee powerhouses, one can draw many parallels between the Wolves and [[Dwarfs (Warhammer Fantasy)|Dwarfs]] and [[Warriors of Chaos]] from Warhammer Fantasy. The chapter is traditionally rivals with the Thousand Sons, though one might see the Wolves as a direct loyalist counterpart for the [[World Eaters]] and [[Night Lords]] due to their penchant both for suicidal, berserk charges and individualistic, undisciplined attitudes. However, the Wolves fight to protect people and do their duty to the Emperor, not for the hell of it. They're as cunning as the [[Raven Guard]] and as bold as the [[Blood Angels]], with fierce pride in their culture and individual prowess. More so than any other chapter, every Space Wolf is a unique and proud hero of the Imperium.

That said, they aren't all fun and bar-room games, as they have their unique flaws. These are elaborated on below.

They're one of the more "controversial" chapters, because fans will circlejerk them to death about how amazing the Chapter is, though the chapter's numerous detractors will rant endlessly about how the Chapter are all furries. Much of this conflict comes from GW's dissonance between the Vlka Fenryka of the books, and the Space Wolves of the tabletop game. The Vlka Fenryka of the Black Library books are a chapter with many different tribal and historical inspirations, drawing on Viking and Germanic culture along with their favorite totem and symbol, the wolf. The Space Wolves of the tabletop game ride wolves into battle, adorn themselves with wolves, name their gear and vehicles after wolves. That said, this difference is only bad translations and cultural changes over 10,000 years.

Ultimately, what defines the Space Wolves isn't their predatory, barbaric instincts- it's how they accept and use their savagery '''without''' being controlled by it or forgetting its downsides, pretty hard to do in 40k for [[Khorne|various reasons]]. Fenris is a world of constant warfare, where resources are scarce, monsters are omnipresent, and other humans constantly threaten every potential Space Wolf. Their initiation ritual involves implanting the candidate with the Canis Helix, then leaving them out in the wild to fight their way back to the Fang. To become a son of Russ, one has to make it back without giving in to their inner beast. They're fully aware of their own potential for senseless violence, and choose to fight the biggest monsters and save the people of the Imperium rather than giving in.

==Brief History and Main Overview==
Before Russ was discovered, the Wolves were a bunch of dicks. They were [[World Eaters|uncontrollable]] [[Night Lords|bullies]]. They were developed in isolation along with the [[Salamanders]] and [[Alpha Legion]], and were considered a fractious and undisciplined force, to the degree of officers losing control of their troops in the middle of a battle. To make matters worse, they often slaughtered civilians who had no way of fighting back. Their geneseed was also extremely difficult to implant in aspirants, often killing them.

Leman Russ was basically [[Viking]] Mowgli, being raised by wolves before he was captured (or possibly chose to/was talked into joining them, fluff varies) by the humans of Fenris and became adopted son to Jarl Thengir. When Thengir passed, Leman became Jarl by virtue of being the biggest badass on Fenris. And that's saying something. Ol' Empy came along and said 'JOIN ME!' in his typical dickish fashion. Leman then called him out to <s>three contests</s> (STOP! [[retcon|RETCON]] TIME!) a combat (double retcon: the Horus Heresy book Wolfsbane brought back the drinking contest as canon). The Emperor agreed to the duel and they went at it so enthusiastically they wrecked the feast hall they were in pretty thoroughly as Leman gave a good account of himself. In the end, Big. E (rather unsurprisingly) proved the better warrior and he knocked Russ out. When he finally woke up from his pummelling, Leman recognised the Emperor as a worthy master, and agreed to serve.

(Older fluff had Russ call Emps out to three challenges: drinking, eating, and fighting (though goodness knows why they didn't do the fighting bit first. If your fighters are drunk and stuffed, the fight will be less interesting). Leman showed up the Emperor in the first two contests, supposedly eating an entire ox and drinking a dozen barrels of mead. When the two of them fought, though, the Emperor was the victor, punching Russ out fair and square on the spot. But a one-shot knock out didn't make for a great story so it got changed into a proper fight.)

Leman very much remade his Legion. The Wolf King used a combination of myth-as-metaphor, genuine superstition, and the influence of Fenrisian veterans to promote discipline and obedience. He taught his warriors to control their bloodlust and kill who they had to rather than butcher everything in sight. That said, the VIth Legion would cross any line and kill any traitor for the Emprah. They fought to make the galaxy safe for humanity, but they were willing to accept the loss of human life. After Yarant and the battle with the Alpha Legion, they started to reevaluate this attitude. It was a process rather than a sudden snap, but they gradually focused less on punishing oathbreakers and more on protecting innocents.

One further thing of note is that it is implied by an offhand comment of Russ's in the Horus Heresy books that the two missing legions were destroyed or at least broken by the Space Wolves, so if it is true then that brings their legion kill tally to three.

The Space Wolves are another example on how Games Workshop lusts after medieval Scandinavian history and mythology. As if the [[Warriors of Chaos]] weren't already enough of a tip off to that. Given that they are the only Space Marines to have wolves, beards, wield axes, laugh boisterously, and act like something more than sombre, grim assholes, and because they have names like 'Ragnar' and 'Bjorn' they are instantly considered manlier than all other Spehss Mehreens, including the Chaos ones.

The Space Wolves also have a complex relationship with religion. The people of Fenris had several deities and considered the Fang to be a hall of immortals where the valorous dead went even during the Great Crusade, which Big E overlooked because the results produced in the form of the Space Wolves were worth it. After a Fenrisian warrior proves his mettle while a Wolf Priest (equivalent to a [[Valkyrie]] except it's a power-armored old man instead of a sexy shieldmaiden) is watching, he gets taken to the Fang (which is the equivalent of [[Valhalla]]) and given superhuman abilities and immortality to feast and train for the final battle; so this is true, in an Obi-Wan Kenobi sort of way. After becoming a Space Marine, they take on a more secular worldview, though superstition and storytelling remain. However, even though they describe Russ as performing impossible feats or act like talismans will protect them, many of their stories are in point of fact allegorical, and their superstitious beliefs are implied to be more of a subconscious way of steeling themselves against the possibility of death. So at the end of the day, your average Space Wolf (if such a thing is possible) believes that his necklace will ward off bad luck and the runes on his armor will protect him from sorcery while saying that Russ defeated the two-headed god of death and made him work for him, he's using the necklace to make himself more willing to risk death, a belief in runes to help resist psychic powers, and really saying that Russ harnessed the bloodlust of the VIth and gave it purpose. That said, he probably believes that Russ literally wrestled Morkai into submission too. Which means the Wolves of the novels have a rich cultural depth, while the Wolves of the tabletop are wolfy wolves who wolve wolves.

Based on their characterization in Prospero Burns and Battle for the Fang, they hold relatively little regard for "mortals" but without ignoring them outright or being dicks to them, and they highly respect bravery in battle. On top of all that, they happen to have the most compassionate and bro-tier Chapter Masters ever, [[Logan Grimnar]]. Logan is known for being famously sympathetic to the common man of the Imperium, defending his mortal charges with a passion beyond reason. This attitude has earned him a somewhat mixed reputation among the upper echelons of the Imperium, because while Grimnar is much loved by the people of the Imperium, he also has a bad habit of leading his chapter [[Armageddon#First War for Armageddon|into conflict]] with other factions of the Imperium when he deems it necessary.

If they were in a vidya game, they'd probably be voiced by Brian Blessed, or his royal Cinemaness CHRISTOPHER LEE, may he glory and feast forever in Valhalla.

They also once managed to kill an entire [[Void whale|VOID WHALE]]! (If a hideously malformed one) Scary Badass Grampa Werewolf Viking FTW!

In older codices, Leman Russ also killed and skinned a colossal deepsea creature that was confirmed to have Tyranid DNA, before the Emprah showed up. Like with a spear and wooden boat. Suck it, [[Macragge]].

Spess Wohlfs, if not already obvious, draw upon a heavy Viking theme, an equally heavy werewolf theme, and wolves in general. As such, the Space Wolves, Black Templars, White Scars, World Eaters and Khornate Worshipers in general, are the few people to realize that they all live in a fantasy universe with spaceships.

Another question that might come up if one thought about it is what happened to all of their extra marines. Even between the Burning of Prospero, a brutal void battle with the Alpha Legion straight afterwards and the rest of the Horus Heresy, the Wolves and their descendants were reduced to a chapter strength of about 1200 marines by the 41st Millenium. Even with attrition over the years, they should have been left with thousands of marines to split into different chapters. The main school of thought is that the Wolves split into two chapters, the original Space Wolves as well as the Wolf Brothers. While the Wolf Brothers would eventually be disbanded due to [[Mutant|genetic instability]], it would still leave the Space Wolves several thousand marines strong. It's thought that the rest of the Sons of Russ would eventually be brought down to close to Codex Chapter strength by attrition, as their numbers were overcome by casualties, the rise of the Mark of the Wulfen, and alcohol poisoning. Another hypothesis is that there would be other chapters that would split off from the Wolves, albeit unofficially or by their origins being proscribed for...whatever reason. However, if the Wolves were indeed left to be several hundred strong after Guilliman got his reform on, it would mean that after Russ's disappearance, the wolves [[Grimdark|were slowly dying out]] after their recruitment numbers dwindled to the dozens per year. (Though the natural ratio of recruits-to-casualties probably reached an equilibrium point at some point a few centuries afterwords, and has hovered right around that point for a long time. [[Grimdark]] doesn't always mean [[Fail|Grimderp]].)

In M32, a small but influential faction within the Rout started experimenting on the Canis Helix, trying to make it less wolfy but preserve the general badassery of Russ' gene seed. This was aimed at realising Russ' dream of Wolves descendants - the reformers saw their Chapter becoming steadily more isolated, making it harder for them to defend the Imperium. Some even claimed that the Imperium would start to question the Wolves' loyalties because of the wulfen issue, putting their existence at risk. They faced lots of internal opposition, but the gene-splicing began to pay off and the Legion's "apotheosis" was looming. Then [[Magnus the Red|this usually level-headed guy]] heard about it, didn't like it and attacked Fenris with extreme prejudice. Magnus' attack left the Fang all but broken and the current Great Wolf dead, along with most of the reformers. Magnus took a thrashing from [[Bjorn the Fell-handed|the bear guy in a Dreadnought]] in the process, but finally had a comeback to all Russ' "forever alone" jokes (fuck, even the Salamanders probably have successors these days). As predicted, although the Wolves are still revered throughout much of the Imperium, they're also mistrusted by its rulers and institutions. Inquisition tried pretty hard to bring them to heel over the whole Armageddon fracas - it's a fair bet that they wouldn't have tried this if the Wolves had a few successor Chapters to call on. Oh, and their attack on the Fang did a similar amount of damage to what Magnus managed.

Skip ahead to current time and the Space Wolves are still on edge with the rest of the Imperium, though mostly due to their refusal to back down when taunted and by getting confrontational with all of their allies. Despite the Wulfen then becoming a pretty overt thing with the return of the 13th Company from the Eye of Terror (all of whom had become Wulfen), the Space Wolves remained out of the Inquisition's ire due to the 13th Black Crusade. Que the Thousand Sons, however, as Magnus bee-lined straight for [[Fenris]] and the system goes to hell. Fenris, despite fighting off Magnus' advances, then gets butchered by the [[Grey Knights]] and the Inquisition because the Fenrissians had been exposed to Chaos. Unable to really do anything about it, the Space Wolves take it on the cheek as they're too busy trying to stop Chaos from fucking everyone else over and avenging their fallen. They send men to Cadia to stop Abbadon, but ultimately; Cadia breaks.

Eventually [[Roboute Guilliman|Grandpappy Smurf]] wakes up and takes charge of the Imperium and dishes out his new shiny [[Primaris Marines]] to everyone who needs them. This bolsters the Space Wolves' numbers after they were clusterfucked by basically everyone possible, and the Rune Priests declare Fenris' spirit to be renewed, even though their system is basically ripped in half. In addition, the whole forever alone thing is in question now, since they were given a new successor chapter, the [[Wolfspear]] (because naming them something without 'wolf' in the name wouldn't be possible). Since the Wolfspear are all Primaris, [[Cawl]] has modified their genetic structure, they seem to be immune to the Canis Helix going extreme and turning them into monsters like the Wolf Brothers; though it's yet to be seen if the Space Wolves will actually accept them as kin. In fact, the Wolfspear have severe daddy issues in the idea that they believe their Primaris status would make the Space Wolves see them as lesser (despite acknowledging the fact that the Space Wolves themselves actually took in a bunch of Primaris into their own chapter).

Space Wolves have a talent for [[rage]], and it is thought by some that they pride themselves with the sheer number of enemies they have. But the [[Thousand Sons]] Chaos Legion is by and large their greatest enemy, at least that's what they think. The fact is that the rivalry began when the Space Wolves (with help from Custodians and Sisters of Silence) kicked the living shit out of the Thousand Sons on their home planet, which is like having your country host the Olympics and then getting last place in every event (much like Canada in the 1976 Summer Olympics and again in the 1988 Winter Olympics). Before that, [[Leman Russ]], [[Primarch]] of the Space Wolves, broke the back of [[Magnus the Red]], who is Primarch of the Thousand Sons. TO BE FAIR, Magnus felt that he deserved it and therefore ordered his warriors to deactivate all planetary defenses (he actually deactivated it himself and even killed one of his own captains to hide the coming of the invasion fleet). If the Thousand Sons had their defenses active, the Wolf of the Wolf Wolf Wolves probably would have had a much harder time of it. As it is, even with all the backup the Wolves had, once they ran out of planetary defense forces in parade uniforms to slaughter, and came across the Thousand Sons, the Wolves/Custodians/Sisters were slowed down a little until Tzeentch pulled the troll lever (though he might've been bolstering the Sons' powers already, which the Ruinous Powers later did with Horus, and this was just a side effect) and the Sons' greatest psykers started mutating and exploding like Tetsuo from Akira.

Considering the [[Emprah]] basically just asked for Leman Russ to give Magnus a ride to Earth, this is more like your parents asking you to tell your younger sibling to come out of their room and clean up the mess they made, only for you to go in there, shoot off both their legs, take a dump on the floor and set the room on fire, chase them out into the streets, murder his best friends, and then tell your parents that the brat suffered for not taking responsibility for the five or so school books on the couch. Of course, [[Horus]] helped that all along, having already went full daddy hate:he twisted Big big E's orders into "rape prospero, k tnx", being a loyal lapdog Russ just rolled with it. Just as planned. Chief Custodian Valdor also urged Russ to curbstomp Magnus for good, presumably because he was concerned what kind of damage Magnus could do in person, given how much trouble he caused from thousands of light-years away.

This set the tone for the rest of their unhealthy relationship. The Thousand Sons do something to piss off the Space Wolves, usually some brilliant, convoluted plan, and the Space Wolves just charge and beat the living shit out of them and laugh in their faces when they find out how much work those [[Tzeentch]]ies put into their plots. Sadly, this usually comes at a staggering toll in Space Wolf lives. So [[grimdark]]. Oh, and the Thousand Son's usually accomplish some underlying secret objective.

Many theories are abound as to why the Space Wolves hate the Thousand Sons and their sorcery so much. The most popular amongst fa/tg/uys is that the Thousand Sons Primarch, Magnus, being aware of Russ's [[furry|bestiality]], was always watching him from his magical lookout, riding up and down his sorcerer's tower to observe Russ from every height and depth, intently channeling the power of his one-eyed cyclops to pierce into Russ's most intimate chambers. Understandably, this left Russ very (literally) [[butthurt]] indeed and eager for vengeance. Or because Magnus is a NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD.

One theory disclosed to the Khan, admittedly from the probably-not-very-reliable source of a shade of Magnus left behind on Prospero, suggests that there could be an even more sinister reason for the hatred, suggesting that there is a dark reason why the Wolves put runes of protection on every part of their wargear (other books suggest the Wolves place huge importance on runes and symbolism).

Also while it may seem laughable that the axe dragging barbarians continually thwart the plans of the hyper-intelligent sorcerers, the wolves are actually probably the most ideal chapter to fight them (except, perhaps, the [[Grey Knights]], for obvious reasons). They have the Canis Helix which causes them to wolf out rather than be corrupted by chaos, and the Rune "Magic" that their Rune Priests use is literally the farthest thing to sorcery used in the Imperium. Add to that the fact that they have one of the most impressive fleets in the entire Imperium, making them somewhat less worried about warp storms, and you have a group almost tailor-made to resist the Thousand Sons.

Other people believe that Space Wolves are indeed a traitor legion and the Thousand Sons a loyal one. Think a second about it. What are the benefits of the Mark of Khorne? Rage and counterattack, exactly the same rules Blood Claws have. Why Russ destroyed completely Prospero if Magnus was not defending himself and his only sin was warning the Emperor about the Horus Heresy? Why Russ went to the Warp? To become a Daemon-Prince? Why they don't recognized Guilliman as their spiritual leader? Why they don't follow the codex who has given so much prosperity to the Imperium? What are those mutations wulfen have? Gifts of Chaos? However, these people are idiots who don't read the lore and have bad grammar, so you shouldn't listen to them.

===Ragnar Blackmane===
Perhaps the best example can be found in ''The Space Wolf Omnibus'', in which [[Ragnar Blackmane]], who is at that time a Bloodclaw (neophyte), not only fucks over a Sorcerer, but Magnus the Red himself. The Sorcerer, [[Madox]], is so pissed at being foiled by Ragnar that he bitches about it to other Thousand Sons, who find this hilarious, and goes around making plots, which Ragnar manages to fuck up nicely, thereby saving the galaxy. Ragnar even took the spear of his Primarch and hurled it into the eye of Magnus the Red. Do note that this is as much canon as other [[Black Library|BL]] anti-fluff shit.

Because of this, the [[Blood Ravens]] forge a weapon named after Ragnar, who tells them to keep their toys because he doesn't need it (though in all reality he had a suspicion that they were trying to 'fence' their 'gift' by giving it to him to evade Imperial authorities). This is actually kinda strange as normally a Marine, especially from a Feral World, would be honored another Chapter made them a gift. The only reason he refused is basically “lol you use lots of psykers” even though almost every Chapter uses psykers and the Space Wolves don’t hate psykers just their reckless use and sorcery (yes those are different you don’t need to be a psyker to be a sorcerer). Since Blood Ravens’ librarians are no less disciplined or more reckless than any other Chapters’, it makes Ragnar’s refusal come off as being jackass rather than a mistrustful pseduo-barbarian.

He and his pack (and about 30 Militarum Tempestus Stormtroopers people somehow always forget to mention (because theyd all be dead before they got to attack obviously)once fought off 40 odd genestealers in close combat. In the actual game and fluff; fighting this many 'stealers in melee is a one way ticket to massive rending claw induced ASSRAPE for anything short of a vehicle with AV 14 on its backside, and a roughly equal number of Genestealers tore apart Marduk's Terminator Armoured Wordbearers and accompanying Khornate Berzerkers and Possessed Marine and wiped out more than half of the strike force he took. Yet somehow he managed to avoid being torn into gory paper thin pieces and come out on top (like this kind of thing is really uncommon with book marines). He manages this <s>without</s> ''by'' being a [[Mary Sue|Mary]] [[Ultramarines|Sue]]. Why?/How? It's because he's a motherfucking Space Viking. Also they were helped by about forty Militarum Tempestus Stormtroopers and two Inquisitors, so it wasn't quite as one sided as it sounds. Not all of it was close combat. In the book, the Wolves mostly blammed the ‘nids instead of dueling them. And Astartes in fluff generally slaughter massive numbers of Genestealers before finally being cut down simply due to their overwhelming reflexes and information processing capabilities. This fight is not special.

==The Fate of Leman Russ==
Of Leman Himself, you ask? Legends state that after a great feast, He said unto his warriors:

<blockquote>"Listen closely Brothers, for my time is short. . There shall come a time far from now when our Chapter itself is dying, even as I am now dying, and our foes shall gather to destroy us. Then my children, I shall listen for your call in whatever realm of death holds me, and come I shall, no matter what the laws of life and death forbid. At the end I will be there. For the final battle. For the Wolftime."</blockquote>

And so, Leman departed, with his closest retinue... No, not you Bjorn... Some say he searches for a means to revive His God-Emperor.. But despite the efforts of the Great Hunt, Leman remains beyond the reach of Man... Who knows what great feats of Heroism he undertakes....

. . . Oh, who the fuck are we kidding? Leman got lost in the [[Warp]] and became a Daemon Primarch of Kho-{{BLAM|//Historitor 109.163.233.200 decommissioned by Inquisitorial decree.//}}

He was, in fact, [[Horo|turned into a small girl]]. (Holy shit! A [[Tzeentch|change]] like that can only mean that Magnus must have gotten revenge.) And if by that you think we mean, "Russ had a shitton of bastard children everywhere and one was a mutant that could shapeshift" then yes; only because Russ's kids turning into [[Werewolf|wolves]] is nothing new. Nobody really knows if this had happened before he went to [[Warhammer Fantasy]] and made the Norscans or not, but since they aren't vikings out of a shoujo anime, we can make a pretty good educated guess. Somehow, he found his way back to the Dark Millenium, still stuck in the form of a [[Horo|small girl]].

(But seriously, we have no idea. There HAVE been sporadic reports of sightings of the 13th great Company with Russ leading them, for what that's worth. And Magnus has mentioned that he knows exactly what happened to Russ, but it's not like he'd ever tell them.)

Actually he has entered Slaanesh's realm of eternal yiff, meaning we will never see him again.

Until GW releases him, because they've said at least 2 more loyalist Primarchs are coming and its obviously the Lion and the Wolf since Guilliman can kind of stand in for the space marines covered by the regular space marine codex while Russ' legion really could use him back after the ass kicking they got from Magnus and the Inquisition, and the Dark Angels' storyline is rather clearly leading to the Lion's reawakening.

==Organization==
[[File:Tyranid Attack.jpeg|350px|right|thumb|The wolves taking on a [[Tyranid]] horde.]]
Since they only see the [[Codex Astartes]] as a source of toilet paper (when they bother to wipe), the Space Wolves have roles and titles far different from the standard Space Marine chapters. Additionally, while traditional chapters each hold ten ~100-strong companies, the Space Wolves instead have 12 autonomous companies, each of which is in varying strength and since they aren't bound by the Codex, each company may have more than 100 marines on hand (in fact, a full list of the members of Grimnar's company gives them a strength of nearly 200). However, the Space Wolf legion were never particularly numerous following the [[Horus Heresy]] in the part due to their unstable gene-seed and the fact they they were restricted to recruiting from one world ''(The fact that [[Magnus the Red]] destroyed the long-sought cure to this during his attack on Fenris for this didn't help, but it should be noted that it wasn't that big of a victory for Magnus, as Bjorn made it quite clear he would have destroyed the project when he found out about it)'' but also the battles of the Horus Heresy hurt the Space Wolves legion badly; culminating in the [[Battle of Trisolian]] which effectively ended their existence as a "Legion" altogether.

Even so, with 12 independent Great Companies (each with their own fleets, logistics support etc), this means that even if each Great Company had 100 brothers, they would outnumber a normal codex-compliant Spess Mehreens chapters by at least 20%. This is corroborated by the 7E codex which has rules for playing a Great Company on its own; consisting of eleven squads of varying size.

However since each Great Company doesn't bother to limit themselves to 100 (some Space Wolves great companies sometimes number over 300 brothers) it means that they outnumber codex chapters by an even greater degree, so with that said, the [[Apocalypse]] formation for the same thing has no hard limit on the number of Blood Claw squads that may be taken, so will probably represent a good period of recruitment for the Chapter. Therefore the total numbers will vary over time in response to casualties and recruitment rates but can reasonably reach estimations of 3000 marines or more; several times the official codex strength at peak times.

As of 998.M41, [[Logan Grimnar]]'s own company was the largest in the chapter and it totaled 200 exactly ''(not counting the "Great Wolf" assets like Dreadnoughts & Priests)'' whilst [[Ragnar Blackmane]]'s was said to be second, sitting at 162 marines. Following the return of Magnus and the battle of Fenris this number would undoubtedly be diminished, though after the [[Ultima Founding]], the number probably remains about the same if not slightly higher as the chapter would be bolstered with Primaris reinforcements. Guilliman probably has more sense than delivering 1000 new warriors to a chapter which already "should" have around 1000 warriors; for excess Primaris Marines we have the [[Wolfspear]] Chapter.

===Hierarchy===
The different wolves ranks and wolves assignments for the Wolves are the following:

*'''Great Wolf''': The [[Chapter Master]] of the Space Wolves, the Great Wolf (also known as the ''High King'' by people who want to tone down the overwolf (i.e. everyone)) is chosen from among the Wolf Lords by virtue of <s>having the most furry porn</s> being the most badass of an army of space vikings. The Great Wolf is effectively the First Captain of the Space Wolves, commanding an elite Great Company that includes the members of the three Priesthoods and the Chapter's Dreadnoughts. [[Logan Grimnar]] serves as the current Great Wolf.
*'''[[Wolf Lord]]''': The [[Brother-Captain]]s of a company in Codex Chapters (although more like a watered-down vanilla chapter master), Wolf Lords (AKA the ''Jarls'') lead their Great Companies and charge the Iron Priests with maintenance of its motor pool and the Wolf Priests with recruiting new Astartes.
* '''[[Wolf Guard]]''': A cross between [[Veteran Squad|Veterans]] and [[Honour Guard]], Wolf Guards (''Thanes'') serve as the body guard of the Wolf Lord and leading packs in battle, serving as the Space Wolves version of a [[Brother-Sergeant]]. They also get [[Terminator]] armour. In ''Second Edition'' they also got to take any weapons they liked and could be built from stock parts with an Assault Cannon and Cyclone Missile Launcher. This led to many games being won as Assault Force Dickhead rampaged across the table murdering everything.
* '''[[Wolf Priest]]''': Combining the role of [[Apothecary]] and [[Chaplain]], the Wolf Priests do the standard roles of preaching and medical duties, but are also charged with recruiting Aspirants for their companies. Plus they have a secret role on the battlefield, trying to prevent their battle-brothers from turning into Wulfen.
* '''[[Iron Priest]]''': The Iron Priests serve the role of [[Techmarine]]s, overseeing the motorpool and equipment of the companies they belong to.
* '''[[Rune Priest]]''': Taking the role of [[Librarian]]s in Codex Chapters, Rune Priests are the [[psyker]]s of the Space Wolves. However, instead of seeing their powers as coming from the [[Warp]], they hold that their powers come from the world spirit of Fenris, and consult the runes in a means to divine the future. Trying to explain to the Rune Priests that they're drawing power from the Warp, and that they cannot "draw their powers from Fenris" while being half-Galaxy away from it will usually result in the non-Space Wolf getting a month's stay in the Apothecarion. The ultimate irony of this is that they are, in reality, Sorcerers, the very thing they denounced the Thousand Sons for being. Whether they are psykers or not. Besides, if Fenris has a world spirit, it is something akin to a Daemon World...
* '''Wolf Scouts''': Each Great Company will have members who shun their pack brothers and are shunned in return, preferring the company of more somber individuals, Wolf Scouts serve to scout out enemy positions and terrain. As opposed to the regular codex, Wolf Scouts tend to be veterans of battle able to rein in their savage rage.
* '''Lone Wolf''': Space Wolves who are the last of their pack. The loss of their brethren drive them to seek a glorious death in combat at the hands of some form a fell enemy. Think of Dwarf Slayers only a few metres tall with powered armour and weapons of doom and destruction. Often the only way out of the Lone Wolf lifestyle is managing to kill something that the individual shouldn't have survived killing and being elevated into the Wolf Guard.
* '''[[Skyclaw]]s''': Skyclaws are the trouble makers among a Chapter of trouble makers, forced to wear Jump Packs. The Space Wolves view Jump Packs as an insult, reasoning that if the Emperor wanted them to fly, he would have given them wings. Snide comments regarding [[Sanguinius]] result in a short game of tug-o-war involving the offending battle-brother's beard.
* '''[[Thunderwolf Cavalry]]''': Space Wolves who function in a manner similar to a [[Bike Squad]], but instead of actual bikes, they use Thunderwolves, which can be the size of a small car.
* '''[[Long Fang]]s''': Taking the role of [[Devastator Squad|Devastators]], Long Fangs are veterans who have grown long in the fang. No pun here - Space Wolves' teeth actually lengthen as they age, as an effect of a mutated Betcher's Gland.
* '''[[Grey Hunter]]s''': Having the role of [[Tactical Squad|Tactical Marines]], Grey Hunters are those Marines who have survived long enough as Blood Claws to quell the worst of their ferocity and blood lust (read: wear a helmet in battle). Their new found experience and control allows them to shoot and fight better than their younger brethren.
* '''[[Blood Claw]]s''': Neophyte Space Wolves who serve in the [[Assault Squad|Assault Marine]] roles of Codex Chapters.

=== Other Assets ===
The Space Wolves have an impressive number of other gadgets and gizmos going for them.

Not least the fact that the Fang (''Aett'') is one of the three most defended locations in the entire Imperium ''(the other two being the Imperial Palace on '''Terra''' and the Keep Inviolate on '''Kolossi''' the homeworld of [[Imperial Knight|House Raven]])'' and is tall enough that entire [[Imperial Navy|battlefleets]] can dock with the fortress.

Speaking of battlefleets; the Wolves themselves have a navy to rival most others, with eight Battle Barges and more than thirty Strike Cruisers, which in terms of logistical support could accommodate over 5400 fighting men. As well as this, they have '''TWO''' Star Forts and over forty escort '''squadrons'''. To let you know how much firepower this counts as, some lesser-known chapters would consider themselves fortunate to have even a single battle-barge. Even the [[Grey Knights]] have only four Barges and twelve strike cruisers, so basically when Fenris held off the [[Grey Knights]] during the Months of Shame, they had plenty going for them. They used to have even more ships, and a star-fort network that could put the infamous Iron Circle of Badab to shame before the Thousand Sons attacked Fenris in M33.

They also have '''''over''''' one-hundred [[Dreadnought]]s stored in stasis vaults within their fortress depths, where/how they accumulated them is [[Blood Ravens|uncertain]] and considering that most other chapters tend to have around two or three Dreadnoughts per company, they likely outnumber nearly anyone else by a considerable margin. ''(For comparison, the [[Blood Angels]] have 35 dreadnoughts listed in their rolls of battle)'' This can likely be traced to their viking tendencies to super pillage everything they come across. I mean Logan's got a daemon axe so I'm just assuming they are just ripping daemons out of chaos dreadnought hulls, slapping a new coat of paint, some wolf sigils and motifs on and dropping their wounded brothers in and no one will ever know. They only had one successor chapter (which failed) so they didn't have to share their dreadnought hulls out perhaps?

Not to mention the packs of feral wulfen that they can scrounge up... Yeah, they might happen to have a shit ton of unregistered mutated werewolf murder machines lying around as ''''failed'''' aspirants. That said, Fenris is far less populous than the likes of Macragge, and feral Wulfen are basically wildlife, so this is a moot point.

Oh, and all the "actual" Fenrisian Wolves & Thunderwolves that the chapter can muster.

They also exclusively possess [[Helfrost Weaponry]] thanks to rare Fenrisian crystals.

==Combat doctrine==
{{topquote|The best way to defeat a Space Wolf is to wolf his wolf. You must be careful, though, because if the Space Wolf wolfs your wolf first, then your wolf is wolfed.|Attributed to Wolf Rider Volk Wolfclaw, ''On the Weaknesses of the Space Wolf Doctrine''}}
{{topquote|A good way to get into a state of pure wolfness, would be that you shall wolf the wolf until the wolfing wolf wolfs. Then, when the wolf wolfs your wolfness, the wolves of the wild will wolf your wolf up. Wolf!|Attributed to Wolf Master Jonal Wolfhand, "The Call of the Nightblizzard''}}
{{topquote|Wolf wolf wolf wolf wolfity wolf. Wolf wolf, wolfo wolfy wolf wolf wolf. Wolf? Wolf!|Attributed to Wolf Lord Egil Ironwolf, ''On the Intricacies of Tactical Wolffare''}}

Jokes aside, the Space Wolves are rather unusual when it comes to organisation and tactics. Contrary to what many fans will tell you, they do actually study the Codex Astartes's points on combat, though they completely reject it from an organizational standpoint. In battle the warriors of the Rout will usually work on their own initiative and experience, but at the same time, they don't disrespect or ignore the lessons of the codex. Their battle strategies tend to be neglected in favor of localized battlefield tactics. They keep to their wolf theme by working as a "pack", with very "make it up as we go along" tactics. This doesn't bite them in the ass as much as it would other space marine chapters, because they can "smell the plan" (I can't make this shit up). The books try to base this off of how normal wolves coordinate hunts, with nonverbal cues being premium. The idea is that the wolves can read the situation by [[Hive Mind|smelling their pack member's moods and thoughts]], using natural pheromone cues (and a few added by the Canis Helix) to anticipate the moods of those around them. This is actually why most wolves prefer to fight without helmets: you can't smell anything in the sealed environment of closed power armor.

== Flaws ==
As many on /tg/ will happily tell you, (and [[Magnus]] won’t stop [[RAGE|Reaggng]] about) the Wolves are far from perfect. Where the [[Imperial Fists]] are inflexible and stubborn, the [[Dark Angels]] are unreliable and austere, and the [[Raven Guard]] are aloof and brooding, the Wolves are boisterous and arrogant. During the Heresy (and/or when Chris Wraight is writing them) they were incredibly brutal toward those they saw as oath-breakers, even if the oath-breaker in question was a fleeing, defenseless civilian. The Ragnar Blackmane books further emphasize this and also portrayed the Chapter as willing to ignore the misdeeds of their heroes in spite of the importance they place on honor. This, combined with the Wolves hating the Thousand Sons for being psykers [[Rune Priest|while also using psykers]] led many to label the Wolves hypocrites, especially since the Space Wolves pick a fight with the Flesh Tearers for killing civilians in spite of their own troubled history in that regard. Fans are quick to point out that the Rune Priests are much more cautious than the Thousand Sons, who actually used Goddamn Chaos familiars during the Great Crusade, and newer fluff further emphasizes that the Wolves hate the Thousand Sons for having no control while pretending they have a better understanding of the Warp, NOT just for being psykers. Furthermore, by the 41st Milennium, the Wolves nearly always stuck out their necks to protect the people of the Imperium, and actively stopped the Flesh Tearers' rampage. Now, everyone including Wolves players admit that the Sons of Russ are entirely too short-sighted and prone to making enemies for their own good. During the Heresy, almost nobody liking them bit them in the ass at Alaxxes Nebula, but fast-forward to M41 and they're happily pissing off the Inquisition, Ecclesiarchy, Dark Angels, Ultramarines, etc. During Warzone Fenris, the galaxy at large is only too ready to write the Wolves off as heretics. Fans and detractors alike also note that it's [[Skub|arguable]] whether being so quick to make enemies and disobey orders to save civilians really saves more people in the long run, especially at Armageddon, where the Wolves' actions backfire badly.

== Civilians ==
Of all the inconsistently written aspects of the Chapter, this is by far the worst offender. Sometimes, the Space Wolves are written as brutal and merciless, giving zero fucks about collateral damage or civilian casualties. On the other hand, sometimes the Wolves [[Salamanders|put their lives on the line to protect the innocent.]] This can induce [[Rage]] in just about any fan, because some people get into the Space Wolves seeing them as heroes while others prefer their more savage, bloodthirsty tendencies. The best fluff attempts to find a middle ground by presenting them as violent and pragmatic, but disciplined during the Heresy and increasingly heroic over time. By M41, the Wolves actively stop the Flesh Tearers from murdering Imperial civilians at Honour's End, disobey orders to protect the settlers at Thressiax, and play chicken with the Inquisition to save the people of Armageddon : this example is particularly notable, because the Wolves didn't just attempt to save the civilians from the Inquisition, for the first few months of the conflict they did so with passive resistance, defending civilian transports with the shields and hulls of their own ships, never firing back. This paints a picture of [[Awesome|a Chapter that actually becomes MOAR independent and heroic as the galaxy goes to shit around them.]] Or perhaps, they've remained the same and the galaxy has gone so grimdark that the Space Wolves now appear heroic in comparison. Then Warzone Fenris happened. In it, the Wolves pretty much abandon their allies to focus on the Wulfen. On the plus side, they send warriors to Cadia and Maccrage in spite of the mauling the Thousand Sons hand them. This is further heroism. Because Fenris is the only place they are genetically capable of recruiting from, so abandoning their allies to save it is perfectly reasonable and would save more people in the long-run by not losing an entire Chapter of ass-kickers.

==Daily rituals of a Space Wolf==
13:00 - Wake Up with Hangover - The Space Wolf awakens from his booze-induced coma and begins the day. Headaches abound. Aspirin is consumed by the ton.<br>
13:10 - Morning Piss - The Space Wolf empties the alcohol that has accumulated in his bladder(s) in the Sacred Alcohol Excretion Grounds. (Doing so anywhere else is hazardous as space wolf urine is capable of corroding ceramite) <br>
13:11 - Morning Fart - The Space Wolf empties his intestines. Pissing without farting is like going to a holy site without praying to the Emperor, which is heresy.<br>
13:20 - Morning Piss Ends - The Space Wolves have finally finished urinating. The surrounding landscape is scorched with a aura of menace resembling nurgle’s rot.<br>
13:30 - Ritual Intake of Alcoholic Beverages - The Space Wolf now cracks open his first cold one of the day. The first of many. Cheerios may be consumed as well.<br>
13:45 - Firing Drills - The Space Wolf consumes another liter of alcohol before going out back and shooting empty beer bottles with his bolter. This takes place far away from the Alcohol Excretion Grounds, after that one time Brother Brynjolf accidentally lit his own piss on fire. an entire company had to spend 6 months in the sickbay until their hair grew back and they were thus fit to be seen in public again.<br>
14:00 - Freeze your Balls - The Space Wolf sheds his armor and most of his clothing to wander around Asaheim for an hour.<br>
15:00 - Feeding of the Land Raiders - Space Wolf observes a feast with his brothers in honour of the chapter's revered battle machines. Blood Claws are still wandering around outside naked in the snow.<br>
15:30 - Boozing of the Land Raiders - No feast is complete without metric fucktons of liquor. Fenrisian Ale, beer, and if available bylestim blend are poured and scrubbed all over the most honoured of the chapter's war machines. Many still have bullet holes, sometimes allowing beer to get into the exhaust ports and make for kickass explosions later. Blood Claws are still wandering around outside naked in the snow.<br>
16:00 - Wolf your Wolf - Grey Hunters and older Space Wolves take this time to play with their favourite 4-legged companions. Blood Claws are still wandering around outside naked in the snow.<br>
16:30 - Save the Blood Claws - Blood Claws are brought in from the cold. Most are frozen blue or black - and hungry for more.<br>
17:00 - Evening feast - Eat. Drink. Start brawls. The usual non-warzone Space Wolf thing.<br>
18:00 - Try to wake up [[Bjorn the Fell Handed|Bjorn]].<br>
18:10 - Give up, try to find something fun on the Vox Saga.<br>
19:00 - Night shitter break.<br>
20:00 - Night firing drills - Much to the Iron Priest's dismay, the Space Wolves practice writing their names in the snow with bolters. In runes. In the dark.<br>
21:00 - Ritual Intake of Narcotics and Purging of Testicles - bitches and blow.<br>
05:00 - Daily Rest - The Space Wolf passes out.<br>

==A Quick Word Out of Character==
The true reason for all this, is that, we at /tg/, in our pathetic, low-reaching mastery of comedy, have seen how idiotic it is that every goddamn Space Wolf codex unnecessarily uses the word "wolf" as a prefix or a suffix every 3rd sentence (similar to the [[Robin Cruddace|Tyranid codex]] shoe-horning the prefix ''bio-'' into every 3rd sentence). Since /tg/ is an easily angered monster, not unlike an [[Angry Marine]], we furiously attempt to link Space Wolves to furries (it's really fucking annoying), as we are as fucked up as [[Chaos Pretty Marines]].

It has been established in the ''[[Horus Heresy]]'' series that the VI Legion doesn't employ the word "wolf" as much as they appear to do. Wolves are readily apparent in their motifs, such as Leman Russ's titles as "Wolf-King" and "Great Wolf," as well as in the formal name of the Wolf Guard, but it's not as overblown as it's made out to be. Apparently, whoever did the Fenrisian-to-Gothic translation made a few errors. First off, they don't call themselves "the Space Wolves." When speaking formally, they refer to themselves as the ''Vlka Fenryka'', which we can look at a few ways. "Fenris" is easy, a reference to Fenrir from Norse mythology. "Vlka" has a couple options; if you walk it backwards through the Germanic ''Volk'' you get "Folk of Fenris". This supports a common theory on 1d4chan where a bunch of colonists landed on a planet, bred giant dogs from their great, great, grand-children (more on that in a minute) then thought, "You know what's better than planet Unicorn? Planet fucking Fenris". So the the ''Vlka Fenryka'' are literally the folk of Fenris. Alternately ''Vlka'' can be translated from Slavic to get the "Wolves of Fenris" again.

No matter what you conclude on, you get Dan Abnett using linguistics to reinforce his theme that the Space Wolves are misunderstood by the rest of the Imperium - calling the Space Wolves because of a mistranslated word. One could even argue they are actually called "Space People", would make sense since Ragnar referred to them as "Star warriors" in the William King novels and their Fenrisian ''Kaerl'' auxiliaries call them "sky warriors," but the lore from these novels has been left by the wayside so take that as you will. When speaking informally, they refer to themselves as "the Rout", solidifying their purpose as the Emperor's executioners (self-proclaimed)/snowflakes. Additionally, the post of "Wolf-Lord" is also a mistranslation, as they refer to their Company commanders as ''Jarl''. Finally, they don't call their fortress-monastery the Fang, but rather the ''Aett'', which can be literally translated as "clan home." There's also this in-universe [[meme]] "there are no wolves on Fenris." At all. This was started by one of the primarchs remarking that they should be called xenos, because they're natives of an alien planet, and it quickly morphed into a joke. As it turns out, this is literally true.

With regards to the [[Fenrisian Wolf|Fenrisian wolves]], the origin a little more freaky than expected: they're not wolves, but descendants of human-wolf mutants. Back when Fenris was first settled, the colonists had the ''Canis helix'' added to help them adapt to the harsh environment by adding wolf genes to their genetic-makeup. Unfortunately, it worked a little too well--the ''canix helix'' caused a number of settlers to degrade into wolfmen and wolfwomen. Following this, they bred and produced a new strain of wolf into the environment. So there are no ''wolves'' on Fenris. They're just the descendants of human mutants. Which might explain why, post-Heresy, only Fenrisians can become Space Wolves (assuming that's why the successor chapters couldn't handle Russ' gene seed).

So yes, naming the planet after the wolves means we really do just end up all the way back at Wolves of Wolves after all. Whelp.

Of course, that means that the Space Wolves are wearing pelts made of [[Fabius Bile|human skin]], but lets not dwell on that - after all it's fairly common in the Imperium to wear human skulls... WolfyWolfWolf {{BLAM|''' *BLAM*}}.

===The Wulfen issue aka "Fucking Furries"===
The blatant author favouritism annoys fans of the other chapters with "Dark Secrets". GW's treatment of the Wulfen makes it effortless for fans of other chapters to hurl [[Mary Sue]] accusations at them, unlike the [[Blood Angels]] and [[Dark Angels]]. The Wulfen are now out in the open; once they were exposed they get little (arguably no) punishment while the Inquisition and Grey Knights just "kept one eye open". The aforementioned chapters on the other hand have to keep their secrets from being found out by the Inquisition and the Imperium at large.

Despite the fact that Fallen Angels were paraded around on Terra, many would assume they were [[Ravenwing]] without their fancy bikes. While any claims of Dark Angels being the real traitors from the Fallen would have [[Guilliman]] retort back that they are full of shit (with more and longer words), as he knew exactly what The First was up to during the Horus Heresy with the exception the events that caused the destruction of Caliban. Of course, the Unforgiven would also be pissed if they found out if one of the predecessors of the Grey Knights killed a Dark Angel and were part of the reason their homeworld was destroyed and would demand censure.

The Blood Angels on the other have an infection similar to the Wulfen without mutating into some kind of half-human man-beast. The [[Red Thirst]]. The Blood Angels and their successors organize the afflicted into [[Death Company|Death Companies]] who are lead by their Chaplains into killing Xenos and foul traitors. If they somehow survive the mutated Blood Angels are {{BLAM}}ed.
Both chapters send their traitors/mutants into battle to be used as cannon fodder. A much more grimdark action that would be in character for Space Marines. [[White Scars|They wouldn't be the only]] [[Raven Guard|chapters to have done this either.]] Instead of treating mutants as fellow warriors.
Inserting noble bright into the setting where it doesn't belong. The same reasons that so many players also hated the Tau until GW retconned them into being more grimdark.

Making this all the more stange. In all likelihood [[Guilliman]] himself wouldn't see a problem with using mutated Space Marines as cannon fodder. Because he did so when he created the [[Moritat]]s after combat exercises with the [[Raven Guard]]. So chances are he would side with the other two former [[Imperium Secundus]] Legions. [[Ogryn|Due to not only favoritism but he and the rest of the Imperium at large would find it strange that the Space Wolves do not]].

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Lightning2.jpg|'Tis only a matter of time until Steve Blum voices 'em. Apparently, this set somehow makes things you hit weigh less.
File:Warlord of Fenris by NachoMon.jpg|Totally not overcompensating...Yeah he's just hiding a massive hardon with the skull
File:Lemanruss39.jpg|Leman Russ. About to mercilessly fuck over the Thousand Sons.
File:Prospero.jpg|Is he carrying a wooden shield? Really? Against a bolt shell? It better be a Combat Shield.
File:Stormrider.jpg|You better watch out, you better not die, you better not fight, I'm telling you why: Santa Grimnar's coming to town
[[File:http://l.wigflip.com/DucDpDtG/roflbot.jpg]]|Pretty cool guys to hang with.
File:SneakySpaceWolves.png|Space Wolves? Using stealth? [[Heresy]].
</gallery>

==See also==
*[[Bjorn the Fell Handed]]
*[[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Space Wolves(8E)|Tactics/Space Wolves]]
*[[Warriors of Chaos]] - With whom they get into bar brawls and drinking contests to see who is moar [[Viking]]
*[[Skyrar's Dark Wolves]] - Before calling your [[Dark Angels]] brothers [[Troll|traitors]] read [[Svane_Vulfbad|this]] first to understand [[Fallen_Angels|their]][[ rage]].
*[[Legion Consul]] - The old "Commissars" of the VI legion.
*[https://youtu.be/Bh_5ofa__pY/ Space Wolves theme song]

{{Marines-Official}}
{{Space Wolves}}
[[Category:Furry]]

Emperor's To-Do List

2020-04-20T23:57:38Z

2601:443:47F:3CA0:1958:C7C3:2A2A:98EE: /* Gathering Storm Special List */

{{Awesome}}
{{Heresy}}
== The Emperor's list of Things to do after Resurrection ==
The God-Emperor of Mankind has been taking a bit of a breather lately, but don't think that he has stopped caring and looking after humanity. As a matter of fact, the [[Adeptus Custodes]] happen to have scribbled down this reassuring list of things that the Emperor intends to do once he's finished taking a little nap, scratched his non-existent nose and taken a bath.

==Rules for new entries==

1: Learn to spell. This is the Emperor's Sacred To-Do List, not the toilet paper roll of an illiterate [[Indrick Boreale|five year old]].

2: Keep crossovers to a minimum, ''especially'' dumb ones. Before you make it, ask yourself "can it be funny without referencing non-[[Warhammer]] stuff?" If the answer is yes, don't make the reference.

3: Read through the damn list before repeating the same damn thing over again, because having five entries, all asking for the same thing is [[Derp|stupid]]. Have you read it? Read it again!

4: Learn to be funny and not painfully annoying, jokes are fine, ''bad'' jokes are not. Before you show us your wit, tell it to some friends and see if they laugh. If you don't have friends, tell it to your pet. If your pet is an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iguana iguana] and therefore cannot talk, talk to the voices in your head and try to make them laugh.

5: Avoid excessive strike-throughs and [[Blam|blamming]], as it makes it hard for all of us to read.

6: Anyone who declares a state of anarchy or refers to this article as a "thread", will be [[Blam|shot]], [[Dark Eldar|dragged out behind the barnyard]], [[Ork|beaten severely]], [[Imperial Guard|run over with a Baneblade]], then [[Blam|shot]] again.

7: If you can't make jokes, then put some effort to make an insightful or interesting submission. Think about what the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|God-Emperor]] would actually do when he wakes up to the sight of a regressing civilization.

8: Don't edit these rules.

==The Holy List (in no particular order)==
[[File:TheLiterallyImmortalGodEmperorOfMankind.jpg|300px|thumb|"Your faith in The Emperor shall assuredly be rewarded."]]
The thing is that the Emperor of Mankind would be really pissed off upon returning his consciousness to his body and finding out what happened to his Imperium during his 10,000-year-long absence/slumber upon the Golden Throne.
In his absence, the [[High Lords of Terra|idiots]] running the Imperium have become even more corrupt, the [[Imperial Truth]] has been forgotten by everyone, some [[Ecclesiarchy|retards]] have got everyone worshipping me, some [[Black Templars|maniacs]] are so fucked up they are just killing anyone useful, and the general state of affairs is through and through [[Grimdark|GRIMDARK]].
This list describes the immediate "improvements" the Emperor of Mankind would install, steps towards a more [[noblebright]] galaxy. The list has also seen some additions made by the [[Adeptus Custodes]] and the [[Commissars]] of the [[Imperial Guard]].

----
# Scratch my nose.
# Take a bath.
# Scratch my everything.
# Eat breakfast.
# Find my ballpoint pen.
# Punch Lorgar in the face.
## Then punch everyone else in the face.
# Roll around on the floor.
# Scream really loud.
# Get some tacos.
# Kill every single one of the [[Marines Malevolent]]. Because they deserve it.
# Look at this list and reorganize. Some items on the list are more important than others.
## Not enough dakka
# Become CEO and majority shareholder of [[Games Workshop]].
## Execute and then replace its upper level employees and management.
# Recognize /tg/ for its greatness.
# Clone Creed <strike>and make him commander of everything</strike>-Scratch that, resurrect '''LORD SOLAR MACHARIUS''', make ''him'' commander of everything, and make Creed his second-in-command... of everything. Also, make the both of them into Primarchs for good measure
# Find Dorn, and spank his ass until it is so red Magnus looks normal in comparison because his spiky Iron Halo popped my eye.
# Hand his so-called 'Imperial Guards' over to the Angry Marines
## Then hand his entire military over the Angry Marines to use to decorate every chain sword in the galaxy with their guts
# Build a new Death Star, I want a Death Star, dammit!
## Scratch that, Get Titan Converted into a new Starkiller base. Fuck, The Grey Knights would be good enough, but keep it away from the rest of the [[Inquisition]]
## Actually, create something even bigger, just because I can.
## ''Important note:'' Stick a void shield on the thing!
## '''''Very Important Note''''' Make sure it can't be blown up by a few lucky idiots doing a single thing somewhere important.
### '''''''Extremely Important Note''''''' Make sure you plan to declare a crusade on Eldar Craftworlds(not Exodites, waste of resources) to make sure they don't stop you from building it.
# Take a shower, I smell worse than a [[Plague Marine]] at this point.
# Brush my teeth, because at this point, my halitosis could probably qualify for Exterminatus.
# Fix my fucked up face.
# Find [[Magnus the Red|Magnus]], and spank him until his buttocks are in the infrared spectrum for ruining everything.
# Create [[Catgirl|Catgirls]].
## Kill anyone who asks why, as they are too stupid to live.
## Destroy the gene manipulation records as to not enable anyone to make Chakats.
## Never mind, turns out [[Felinids]] are already a thing. Saves me the trouble.
## Give Felinids "sanctioned" status so no one can fuck with them.
# Retry building the Golden Throne so that this time I can access the [[Webway]].
## But this time actually share it with other people and test it somewhere else off of [[Holy Terra]].
# Add more bling to my palace, even more bling to my throne and go bling crazy on a new suit of armour.
# Drive around the M25 in a car so fast I dig a trench around London by friction
# Table an Eldar player by turn 2 in an equal points game (it's possible, I've just done it!!!(bitches))
# Recruit black guardsmen/bolter bitches.
# Eat something other than psykers babies, seriously I need to eat more carbohydrates.
## And some protein, so I can get even more ripped. I know no-one can see my [[Gay|muscles]], but they need to be there.
## Don't forget your vitamins too, Dear.
# Eat a live [[Carnifex]] without the aid of sauces.
# Eat another live [[Carnifex]] with the aid of sauces.
# Turn yet another [[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX|Carnifex]] into sauce, while living, and use that as a sauce for the last live Carnifex.
# Discover a way to cook Tyranids so they taste like buttered lobsters or fried bacon. That way, Imperial Guardsmen will not only be cheered up by the prospect of a good meal at the end of a battle, but they would also appreciate the irony of galaxy-eaters suddenly becoming tasty grub. Hiveships, once dreaded, would become flying hors d'oeuvres platters.
# Wash the Carnifex meal down with a glass of soda and Amasec.
# Further expand the Warhammer 40K storyline without the interference of [[Games Workshop]].
# Teach the [[Imperial Guard]] generals some actual tactics other than "Hey-Diddle-Diddle-Straight-Up-The-Middle."
# Tell the Adeptus Mechanicus to stop keeping secrets and actually try to advance technology so we don't have to rely on whatever scraps from the [[Dark Age of Technology]] we have left. Threaten to Exterminatus Mars if they don't.
# Replace the Imperial Guardsmen [[Lasgun|Lasguns]] with something that can ''actually'' do shit. Probably some Pulse Rifles or Gauss Flayers.
# Get a Militarum codex for all the Segmenta and make Militarum Solar entirely from [[Adeptus Custodes]] in Necrodermis.
# Make up with [[Matt Ward|Matthew Ward]] as he isn't that bad.
## GeeDubs still made shit in his absence.
# Kick that [[Star Wars]] Emperor's arse.
## Proceed to reverse engineer their lasers and proceed to make Lasguns better.
## Hang out with Darth Vader.
# Gather every Guardsman, Astartes, Inquisition operative, Sororita, Commissar... hell, everyone in the Imperium of Man, give them weapons, have them surround the Eye of Terror and ''then'' let the Greatest of all Holy shitstorms ensue.
## Optional: Proceed to create Black Hole Producing weaponry and launch a ton at the Eye of Terror.
# On that note, find a way to bring [[Kaldor Draigo]] from the warp. I need him because he Gets Shit Done.
## Fuck Kaldor Draigo, he's insane(yet funny). Find someone just as awesome as me to get some shit done...Doomguy.
## Or perhaps this Doom Slayer man, I heard he took down a demonic god.
# Outangry [[Angron]], outsex [[Fulgrim]], outfortify [[Perturabo]], outwit [[Magnus]], outspeed [[Jaghatai Khan|Khan]], outpreach [[Lorgar]], outdrink [[Leman Russ|Russ]], outendurance [[Mortarion]] and outforge [[Vulkan]].
# Personally execute Fulgrim, Perturabo, Angron and the rest of the traitor Primarchs.. ''after'' the Inquisition has given them a proper torturing. Except Fulgrim. No torture for him will be torture enough.
## May I suggest simply bringing them back into your fold my lord? Primarchs are rather expensive.
# Beat [[Khorne]] in an arm wrestling match, thus avenging my prior defeat at his hands, then rip his arm off and beat him to death with it.
# Show [[Slaanesh]] my dick and watch his/hers/its sweet tears of envy. If Slaanesh doesn't cry, just dickslap the bitch into Khorne's arms and eat popcorn while hilarity ensues.
# Hug [[Nurgle|Papa Nurgle]] and remain pure.
# Get [[Isha]] out of Nurgle's clutches, then watch as every Eldar wych freaks out, incidentally causing the Eye of Terror to blink. [[Just as Planned]].
# Seduce Isha, just to prove that I can, and watch as Nurgle gets pissed off.
# Fuck Isha so hard that every [[Eldar]] is gonna feel their asses sore. Also make sure to livestream it!
# Give Nurgle a bath, with holy water made by distilling the blood of 1,000,000,000,000 saints.
# Make Nurgle feel gut-wrenching sadness so bad his cultists won't be so unnaturally happy.
# Run before plagues eat Nurgle alive for not being diseased enough, spontaneously combusting with the power of 10 of my Legendary Power Swords.
# Devise a scheme so elaborate and complex that I'll be the one to say "Just as planned" to Tzeentch.
## Makes sure it better than what [[Creed]] could come up with.
# Then do the same thing to [[Commander Puretide]].
# And then do the same to [[Imotekh the Stormlord]].
# And then do the same to [[Eldrad]].
# Then get Creed, Imotekh, Puretide, Eldrad, [[Aetaos'Rau'Keres]], The [[Swarmlord]] and [[Kairos Fateweaver| Kairos]] instated as the new Eggheads.
# Outdick [[Eldrad]]. Then screw both of his daughters in front of him. Again. At the same time.
## Go back in time and get Eldrad to have more daughters, so that I can have an orgy in front of him.
### While your at it, create a Time Travel Paradox Nuke to destroy the universe for leverage over Chaos and everyone else. [[Just as Planned]].
## Apologize to [[Taldeer]] by officiating at her wedding with LIIVI (and make that canon!)
# Go back in time (multiversal travel required too) and tell the dumb fuck at [[Games Workshop]] [[Matthew Ward]] who fucked up the 5th Edition of Codex Astartes that "He's doing it wrong," the dude to made the Imperial Guard better that "He's doing it right,"(Tomb kings and Tyranids disagree), then go to the guy who decided to give the Guard flashlights and take him to the Inquisition to be properly tortured.
# <s>Make a Total War version of Warhammer</s> Done. Make a [[Total War]] version of Warhammer 40k.
# Permit Space Marines and Sisters of Battle to date. Well, the Astartes call themselves my Sons, and the Sororitas say they're my Daughters... maybe this plan is a wee bit awkward? But I want grandkids, and the last time I was a dad, my son [[Horus]] went and [[Horus Heresy|ruined Christmas for everybody]].
# Be a better father to the rest of my sons, as not to spark another shitstorm that will inevitably cripple me for another few millennia.
# Go on a deer-hunting trip with some [[Vindicare]] and bag more kills than him using MY KICKASS FLAY-WITH-MY-MIND POWERS!!!
# Overshadow an [[Eversor]] Assassin during his dynamic entry.
# Deceive a [[Callidus]] Assassin with disguises and trick her into having a romantic relationship with me.
# Outbrood a [[Culexus]] Assassin and still remain awesome.
# Deceive the [[C'tan]] false GabeN "[[The Deceiver]]" by tricking him into giving over control of the Necrons to me.
# Find the C'tan called "[[The Outsider]]" and rehabilitate him. If not possible, kick him into a Black Hole.
# Find out what if anything is chasing the Tyranids and see if they're friendly. If not: Launch the prototype promethium planetary bombardment torpedo.
# Once again outdick Eldrad in the game of his choice, forcing him to ragequit.
# Beat a [[Lord of Change]] Greater Daemon in a game of Chess with only 5 moves.
# Then beat it in 4
# Make a better emergency life support system as a safeguard if things for some reason go south. By that I mean make some kinda Emperor [[Dreadnought]] or some shit like that so I can still do my job instead of all this being a decaying corpse on some tricked out toilet worshiped by the entire population... did I mention how much this sucks? I heard that an old fart by the name of Karamazov has a dreadnought as a chair...
# <s>Personally get that dreadnought back-up plan started</s> Better idea, make myself a fucking [[Imperator Battle Titan|Imperator Titan]] as my Dreadnought backup plan
##Actually, fuck that, build a Dreadnought that goes in an Imperator Titan.
##fuck it, have the [[Adeptus Mechanicus|cog-faced boys]] over at mars make me an even bigger titan and then throw the imperial palace on its back
# Outright skullfuck Slaanesh for making something so good be so wrong and heretical.
# Eliminate masturbation across the Imperium and in its place have sanctioned sex workers as part of the socialized medical program(no, I think I had it right before) so nobody will be stuck comforting themselves alone ever again.
# Go outdick Eldrad one last time. Then put all the Eldar he saved when he got the Orks to invade Armageddon in a life threatening situation.
## Let Eldrad try and save them.
## Laugh as he fails.
## Save them so I get to be the bigger man.
## Make a note of where they all are so next time Eldrad pisses me off I can kill them without wasting too much time.
# Send search parties throughout the Empire to find that awesome excuse for a Space [[Viking]], [[Leman Russ]], and if he's found alive, hand his ass to him like I did before I got stuck on this throne.
# Prove the existence of the [[Alpha Legion]].
# Get those two exiled legions back again, they've blasted enough [[Tyranids]] in other galaxies by now!
# Give Alpharius and Omegon a hug for staying secretly loyal and fighting Chaos from within for ten thousand years, then ground them for a decade for all the damage they did in the process
# Invent a more reliable warp drive in order to...
# Expand the Imperium to a intergalactic empire.
# Create a special rule just for myself so that instead of just ''one'' unit as a scout, I field an [[Creed|ENTIRE REGIMENT'S worth of troops as scouts]].
# Beat a Commissar at a Western-Style shootout.
# Recognize the [[Legion of the Damned]] for their awesomeness and badassery.
# Challenge [[Sly Marbo]] to a duel to decide who is the greatest being in the entire universe.
# Beat a Tau Broadside battlesuit in ranged combat using only an angry glare.
# <s>Hunt down my Legendary Power Sword. Again</s>. Never mind Apparently roboute found it
##Ask him if he can give it back
# Come up with a Name for my Legendary Power Sword more original than The Burning Blade.
# Use the warp to go back in time, find myself and beat myself in a duel, so I can have TWO Legendary Power Swords!!!
# GROW A GOD-DAMNED BEARD. HOW CAN I BE CONSIDERED MANLY WITHOUT A BEARD? Also, how the fuck none grew in 10 fucking thousand years?
#Give a TONS of medals and some miles of purity seals to [[Gav and Bob|Gav]] (seriously, that ogryn kill a keeper of secrets and a thousand sons wizard) then resurrect Bob, commissar Arry and give a new body to Tarla for make him happy.
# Find the canon-Nazi using this list as his own personal toilet paper to wipe his shit on and mail him to Commorragh.
# Throw a WAAAGH!!
## Invite the Orks to said WAAAGH!!.
## Aim said WAAAGH!! at the Necrons/Tyranids.
## Bring a camera.
## ???
## PROFIT.
# Find [[Lion El'Jonson]] and get him back on the front line owning shit.
# Resurrect [[Rogal Dorn]]/Rogal Dorn's hand, and stitch it back on.
# Disable [[Roboute Guilliman]]'s life support.
## Never mind, someone got him off his lazy blue butt.
## Find out who resurrected him and keep them on retainer in case things go ploin-shaped again.
## Apologise to him for being such a dick when we last spoke. See point 63 for reason why.
# Create a First Founding 2.0 to make the [[Angry Marines]], [[Manly Marines]] and those other guys canon.
# Come up with more shit for The Emperor's list of Things to do after Resurrection 2.0 if things do go south for some reason and the Emprah-dread-titan ain't ready yet.
# Turn the Armageddon conflict into a 24/7 Reality TV Channel, just like in that fantastic movie The Truman Show.
# Invent a deodorant that works on Typhus.
# Promote [[Cypher]] to Warmaster, he's clearly more competent than any other human that got to that rank. He seems more reliable than even Lion El'Jonson.
# Fuck, trip-out and drink the whole of [[Commorragh]] under the table, and then <s>kick</s> PUNT their stoned arses into Hell.
# Proceed to turn the remnants of Commorragh into a family friendly theme/water park called "EMPRA LAND!". Featured attractions: Blam the Xenos, Hot Heretic and Dismember the Deamon!
# Somehow regain my love and compassion. Can't lead the Imperium into non-grimdarkness without that, you know!
# Figure out how to get my awesomesauce body back since I lost all my limbs to decomposition.
# Make the Ultramarines stop boasting how awesome they are while in fact they fuck up almost every vital engagement. Thus, first I must make them REALLY awesome, and then I won't need to tell about it to anyone since it will be a fact in itself.
# Somehow find a way to come back without sparking off galaxy-wide hysteria. Seriously, who would have thought being considered a GabeN would suck so hard?
# Redesign the power armor [[pauldrons]]. CAN'T SEE SHIT WITH THESE THINGS ON, I MEAN FUCK. Also, I can't fucking scratch my neck without smashing my head. While I'm at it, find out why the fucking hell I thought that was a good idea to have those things so big in the first place.
## My lord, the Techpriests of Mars have fixed this issue by making the pauldrons slide downwards automatically when the arms need to be raised.
# Design a helmet awesome enough for me, let's see [[Failbaddon|wannabe Horuses]] try to mortally wound me when all of me is covered in armor.
## May I suggest augmenting your laurel crown with a powerfield and some sort of transparent armor?
# Invent a power staircase.
# Resurrect Malcador the Hero and give him a shiny medal for his troubles.
## On second thought, better make it two shiny medals.
## We're talking REALLY shiny, here.
## It's like, damn son.
## So shiny.
## Actually give him three shiny medals.
## Heresy! Give him 4 Shiny medals.
## Actually.... A suit of auramite power armor with the awards engraved in the chest. Add a archaeotech refractor in there too.
# Congratulate [[Abaddon|Failbaddon]] for doing more damage to the forces of Chaos than my armies could have done in the same amount of time by being an incompetent fuck, then dickslap him back into the Warp.
# Use Time machine to bring Archaon into the 41st millennia and watch him beat Abbadon with with his own arms and take his place so I may have a worthy opponent.
# Boot Cato Sicarius into the eye of terror and get Captain Titus to lead the 2nd company.
# Surf a flying leviathan.
# Surf an Emperor-Class [[Titan]]
# Surf the energy beam from an overcharges VOLCANO CANNON, THAT ORBITAL SPIRE IS GOING DOWN!!!
# Get Forge World to make a fluff accurate miniature of me.
# Make a legendary thunder-shield for myself.
# Make my armor out of Necrodermis, I'll be invincible then.
##Find a way to minatureize a void shield into that.
##Failing that, an Ion Shield.
# Make [[Commissar Yarrick]] into a living saint, I'm tired of Khorne bragging about how cool An'ggrath is and how I have nothing to match him, so I want my own version.
# Resurrect Ciaphas Cain and form the "forward retreat" legion for him to command.
# Collect each and every one of the bajillion pieces of Khaine, put them together, and as he resurrects, punch him so hard that he'll fall apart into TWO bajillion pieces.
# Create a super sleeping pill for the Void Dragon so he'll never wake up. In case it won't work, I will pummel him back to sleep personally. It worked before, thus I suppose it wouldn't be too much harder a second time, but I have a lot of better things to attend to so the sleeping pill is worth a try.
# Finally win a game of Paradox Poker. Yes it's fun to get together with Tzeentch, the Deceiver, and Cegorach every Saturday night for these games of dickery. But it's about time that someone won one of these games and it might as well be me. Maybe I can bring Creed along to help.
##Invent a translator for the hive mind so it doesn't sound like a thousand mental patients gargling a million nails in motor oil and weird syntax and can become a regular player.
## Privatize said translator and form a secret alliance with the Hivemind, and then talk shit about the others behind their backs (after making sure the translator works two ways).
# Organize my birthcentury party. It's gonna be an awesome party that'll last 10,000 days!
# Out-prank and out-funny Cegorach... probably the most difficult thing to do on my list.
# Set up arrangements for my return where I launch myself out of a Vindicator and hit a Demon Prince, [[awesome|causing him to explode.]]
# Figure out how to tell [[Adeptus Mechanicus|my man bitches]] to add pimp wheels to my golden throne then maybe a [[Dwarf Fortress|magma cannon]] or something badass...
# Reupholster the golden throne.
# Develop better plans to stop global warming and acid rain on [[Hiveworld]] planets.
# Beat Abaddon with his own arms.
# Recharge my iAuspex.
## Update it too, oh me, the update time....
# Beat [[Matt Ward]] and [[C.S. Goto]] over the head with their crappy works
# Tell the [[Black Templars]] to chill the fuck out. On second thought gather them into the 10,000 strong unstoppable force (ITS IN THE CODEX IT MUST BE SO) and destroy the Eye of Terror.
# Release Bjorn and find the Space Wolves a kennel.
# Get the Space Wolves a damn flea collar
# Win a blinking contest with the Eye of Terror.
# Fetch Badassius his coat.
# Look up affordable retirement plans, I am so sick of babysitting some of these hopeless morons.
# Challenge [[Doomrider]] into a space coke-snorting contest. Then laugh at him as he dies from overdosing on the stuff.
# Convince [[Doombreed]] to allow a model of himself to be made.
# Get a haircut. Ensure my hair is even more fabulous.
# Have a trip over to the dentist.
# [[Exterminatus]] Equestria
## And their sun and moon as while, do those first actually.
# Beat Chuck Norris with his own legs
# Start an intergalactic fast food chain. (Empy's Empanada's)
# Invent a time machine.
# Guarantee that Magnus won't fuck up my invention again. Rip his eye out and beat him to death with it.
# Use the time-machine to drink [[Leman Russ]] under the table.
# Using the time-machine so I can eat more than Leman Russ as well.
# Hatch an extremely complicated time machine plot.
## Go back in time and give yourself a time machine and all future information
## Do something cool??? Figure out how to twist reality better?
## Uhhh.... running out of ideas... Annihilate [[Horus]]?
## Do something about your fall. What fall?
## No Matter What Happens, The world will... wait is it will or was or is...
## ???
## ????????????????????
## Profit?
## Hire the Tau to make a animated series about my inter-time adventures, call it Golden;Throne or something.
# Assign a Primarch to the [[Angry Marines]]
# Assign Zoloft regiment to newly anointed Primarch of the Angry Marines
# Find my driver's license and look up own name.
# Clean house with the Administratum. How can we get shit done when we don't know how much we have to work with?
# Dig out my office from all the paperwork/peat moss that has accumulated over the <s>years</s> <s>decades</s> <s>centuries</s> fucking millennia. Not looking forward to this one.
## Get my old battleship for a shortcut.
# Make galaxy wide web and ban Lord Commissar from every thing.
## Spy on everyone with no mercy. [[Chaos]] will corrupt through the web or some stupid explanation via Chaos Magic.
# Invent a social network purely for Space Marines accessible from any data slate called Facemarine.com
# Invent a website called 40000chan.org so that humanity will finally be rid of the IRL [[trolls]] that have taken control over the hive cities, instead of the internet.
# Outangry a Angry Marine
# Outmanly a Manly Marine
# Outpretty a [[Pretty Marines|Pretty Marine]]
# Utterly destroy all [[furry|furfaggotry]]. (Space wolves and catgirls not included!)
# Beat myself in arm-wrestling with only one arm.
# Beat [[Commissar Fuklaw]] in a chainsword duel. Then every Angry Marine.
# Tell the [[Blood Ravens]] to stop dicking around in the Aurelia Subsector and get to work on that Eye Of Terror thing.
# Cure space-AIDS by wiping out those filthy Dark Eldar.
# Pimp the Golden Throne so that I may score even more bitches.
# Make a show called "The Fresh Emperor of Sacred Terra".
# Get new toilet paper, this 40,001 year megapack has almost run out.
# Turn off my [[Astronomicon|nightlight]]. Seems that everyone was using it for something. Well, no big deal I guess.
## Actually, create something better, which has a radius bigger than 50,000 light years, doesn't cause the deaths of one thousand [[psykers]] every day (find a better use for them) but most importantly doesn't need me to control it. I mean come on, my time is too important to just act as a giant psychic signpost.
# Order all thrones, chairs and benches destroyed. Or out of my sight at least, on pain of Exterminatus Cheezious, which is like getting creamed, but harder.
# Build a gold fortress at the [[brits|centre]] of Terra to enslave troglodytes.
# Become human parasite.
# Go back in time, beat entire GW executive board over the head with a power bat and then give the Warhammer 40000 license to someone willing to do a good job of it.
# Scratch that, go back in time, resurrect THQ and tell them to make five more Space Marine games.
# Punch [[Mork]] in the balls, with [[Gork]]'s severed fist.
# Demote [[Creed]] and his friends who keep fucking with my list.
# Beat [[Swarmlord]] and mindfuck [[Hive Mind]]
# Pray night and day that Frank Herbert's family doesn't sue the shit out of me for blatantly ripping him off.
# Get [[Andy Chambers]] BACK!!!
# Kick every heretic who claimed the Space Marine game was a ripoff of Gears of War/Starcraft in the balls with Powerfeet. Then send the [[Angry Marines]] in.
# Beat [[Matt Ward]] to death with [[C.S. Goto]].
# Beat [[C.S. Goto]] to death with [[Matt Ward]]'s corpse.
# Give the Nightbringer nightmares about me.
# Resurrect [[Sanguinius]].
# Tell him how much I missed him.
# Resurrect [[Ferrus Manus]].
# Tell him how much I didn't miss him.
# Find Leman Russ, Corvus Corax, Jaghatai Khan and Vulcan then get their asses back to battlefield.
# Tell the [[Dark Angels]] I forgive them so they stop being emo and ambiguously heretical, and they can get back to kicking the asses of my enemies
# Sit down and a have a cup of tea. Because it's just been that fucking long.
# Find a way to re-create Horus's soul and then destroy it again.
# Then do it again.
# Put a new password on my computer to stop all these heretics from accessing my damn list!
# Buy a really big gun to gather a load of Orks and shit in the middle of nowhere...
# ...then Virus Bomb said area......
# Take a dump on the Golden Throne.
# Congratulate [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs]].
# Go out on a shopping day to buy a new outfit, because this golden armor set is just ''SO'' 10 millennia ago.
# Order the Inquisition to torture the fuck out of EA's board of directors.
# Use proceeds to pay for Power Armor for every front line soldier in the Imperial Guard. Commissars get Terminator Armor.
# Modify the Imperial Palace to be able to transform into "GabeN Emperor Class Super Titan".
# Play [[Matt Ward]] in a game of Warhammer 40K. Let him build the ultimate broken [[Ultramarines]]/[[Grey Knights]] army. Destroy him in the first round with a [[Sisters of Battle]] army.
## Fuck that, a Imperial Guard army.
## Collect tears of [[butthurt]] and despair from him losing.
# Go back in time and reduce the prices at [[Games Workshop]].
# Unfuck the galaxy (again).
## Then proceed to make sure it won't be fucked again.
### Without annihilating all sentient beings (and therefore killing [[chaos]]) and destroying the universe without causing it to crunch.
# Adopt [[Cultist-Chan]]. Hire a dialect coach and orthodontist for her.
# Find a [[Tarrasque]] and make it [[Emprahsque|my personal pet]].
# Commend [[Captain Titus]] for not succumbing to Ultramarine stereotypes. Conclude the ceremony by striking Brother Leandros (the ungrateful fucking smurf) in the testicles with a thunder hammer.
# Get some Preparation H from the Apothecaries.
# Revise Imperial naval doctrine to emphasize that SPACE IS NOT A FUCKING OCEAN!
# Write a best-selling autobiography.
# Buy a shop-vac and drain [[Khorne]]'s lake of blood. Dump hydrofluoric acid on his skull pile until it is a calcium slurry. Laugh scornfully at Khorne's unbelievable [[rage]] as the work of centuries goes to waste in a few hours.
# Tell everyone to cheer up. The universe is [[grimdark|depressing]] enough, I don't need an entire [[Imperium|empire]] worth of wangst.
# Create a chastity belt out of [[necrodermis]] and put it on Slaanesh. Then create a matching ballgag and shackles in case the fucker might get creative. [[Not as planned|This won't get kinkier, won't it?]]
# [[Blood Bowl|Introduce football to Orks and create elaborate stadiums, as to distract them from killing us.]]
# Weaponize a [[Sonic Weaponry|vuvuzela]] and beat a [[Noise Marine]] with it.
# Get new ballpoint pens because this damn list is draining the ink.
# Create a new space marine chapter dedicated to making pens with holiness.
# Consider ways to liven up sports with the introduction of power armor/fists.
# Disband the [[Ultramarines]] Chapter and show [[Matt Ward]] what has been done as part of the torture.
## If [[Not as planned]] occurs and [[Matt Ward]] ignores you ROB him into the most applicable
# <s>Revive the [[Squats]].</s>{{BLAM}}{{BLAM|Squats are Heresy!}} Bitch I am the mother fucking EMPEROR.
# Piss on Horus' maggoty, heretical corpse.
# Resurrect Horus again and beat him to an inch away from death, then put him in life support/stasis for 10,000 years and make sure he feels every second of it- lets see how he likes being in agony for countless millenia.
# Teach the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] there is no such thing as machine spirits, and tell them they can start using AI and computers more. See notes regarding Imperial Navy for immediately apparent uses. Then shit an Imperial Palace worth of bricks as the Void Dragon takes over everything and the Age of Strife happens all over again.
# Congratulate The Legion Of The Damned.
# Give the remaining Lamenters a hug. They deserve it.
# Determine if sexual virility has remained intact. If not, demand the necessary supplements under pain of death.
# Dominate a Sister of Battle in bed.
# Find a way to build [[Blackstone Fortress]]es.
## Use as part of plan to shoot the Eye of Terror out of existence.
# Deal with all the spam on 1d4chan.
# Bring back Warhammer Wednesday.
# Make a 40K version of [[Blood bowl]].
# Make Blood bowl the Imperium's official sport.
# Invite the [[Eldar]], [[Chaos]] and the [[Ork]] forces to participate in Blood Bowl games, proceed to rig every game. [[Just as planned]].
# Kill Gorgutz, If he doesn't run away from the fight, like he did on Lorn, Kronus and Karauva.
# Create for myself a massive golden space-caddy to roll around the Imperium and fuck bitches in.
# Train the commissars to stop executing their own men and start executing Furries that are useless instead.
# Officially recognize the reasonable marines as the Knights Inductor. I need a Space Marine chapter that doesn't go trigger happy when they encounter heresy and xenos.
# take a vacation to pen island
# Make a chapter of Space Marines born from clones of [[Simo Hayha]] that is justifiably overpowered in the tabletop.
# Get at least one Space Marine commander, preferably a Grey Knight, in some future Warhammer game to be voiced by James Earl Jones.
## Get a high ranking character in said game to be voiced by Morgan Freeman.
# Eat a pie with a live Carnifex inside with the aid of sauces.
# Look disapprovingly at the Ecclesiarchy then bitch-slap the priests.
# Reintroduce the [[Imperial Truth]], but this time, inform my citizens and soldiers of the dangers of Chaos and how to prevent it from infecting them.
## No wait, that's a terrible idea. Faith hurt's Chaos and religion gives guidance and hope to the masses. It's the stupid Imperial government that kept going ape about heresy and killing people. Since worship apprently ''doesn't'' feed Chaos, there is no point to the Imperial Truth except the Manifest Destiny part.
# Overhaul the Imperial Guard's stance on martial justice. If I happen to catch a Commissar shooting a recruit out of a meaningless quibble, I will beat him with my bare fists and he will have to be permanently accompanied by a servo-skull equipped with a colostomy bag. {{BLAM| <b> Commissar reasonable agrees </b>}}
# Research ways to prepare Orks as a palatable substitute for Corpse Starch rations, much like the ancient Terran food product "Quorn." Would also increase morale among common soldiers, as they would treat a WAAAGH like a Grox dinner with Amasec on legs.
# Find way to make bolt-mounted power field generators feasible? Perhaps I should look at the Angry Marines' Adamantine Sack of Power Doorknobs...
## Also, see about powerfields on the shells fired by weapons batteries on Navy ships. That would be hilarious and awesome.
# Place an Imperial edict forbidding the use of Baroque and Gothic architecture. Who knows how many resources were spent gilding those fucking stupid space cathedrals?
# Use a hive city as a tooth pick.
# Make a new edition of Epic Armageddon.
# Try to domesticate some Tyranids so that we can ride them like war horses or some shit. I don't think it will work (then again the Orks managed to do it) but I just want to see if we can manage it. Besides even if it doesn't work it will probably be a fun experience (assuming nobody gets eaten).
# Crush [[Doomrider]] into a fine powder and snort him.
# Party with [[Pedro Kantor]] and promote him to Imperial Fist primarch.
# Invent a way to make female marines, and give them all to the [[Crimson Fists]] and blood angels. Those poor bastards need it.
## Before that, gather all those who demanded that female space marines should be created and have them explain the concept to the Adepta Sororitas.
## Revive Malcador, then wed him to the most muscled sister I can find. After the honey moon period, ask him what he thinks of the concept of "making them all sisters".
### Legalize polygamy should he still agree.
## Realize that it is rare for women to even try to join the military and that the tests for Space Marines kill all but the strongest and most durable men out of trillions. Oops.
### Send the handful of dead female aspirants (sadly, all of the aspirants) family's an apology letter and some money.
# Introduce the Angry Marines to megaphones.
# Establish the Adeptus Astartes Legions once again and rewrite the Codex Astartes to emphasize tactical and strategic flexibility. Arrange a checks and balances system similar to the [[Iron Hands]] for the purposes of chapter administration. Those who protest this action will be redirected to the complaints department, which happens to be located on my power fist.
# DESIGN AND MAKE NEW SHIT (Mechanicus won't/can't do it, fucking toaster fuckers)
# Give a [[Honey Badger]] power armor and use it as a weapon.
# Name said Honey Badger Chapter Master of the [[Angry Marines]]. They're gonna love it.
# Build a Tank to crush a MOTHERFUCKING BANEBLADE.
# Give it to Yarrick as a present.
# Invent Krak-Grenade Tennis with Thunder Hammers for rackets.
# Invent Krak-Grenade Baseball with Thunder Hammers for bats.
# Invent Krak-Grenade Cricket with Thunder Hammers for bats.
# Invent Krak-Grenade Golf with Thunder Hammers for clubs.
# Beat Da Squig in a Baneblade race.
# Declare Tank Motorsports as an official sport.
# Amass a fleet of a million ships and finish kicking the shit out of everything else in the galaxy.
# Bring back the Enslavers. Then enslave them.
# Make a Baneblade the size of a Emperor Titan.
# Make a Titan the size of a Emperor class battleship.
# Make a Emperor Class battleship the size of a [[World Engine]].
# Help the Necrons to build a World Engine the size of the Eye of Terra.
## Then destroy it. Because I can.
# Steal [[Necron]] starships. Traveling the galaxy without warp drives? Fuck yeah, I want that!
# Learn how to make Tyranid calamari.
# Learn how to make Tyranid Tika Masala.
# Learn how to make Tyranid Sushi.
# Play hide and seek with Sly Marbo and with the Tanith First (and Only) guys. It'll be interesting to see why they can't find the deity of Mankind who wears Golden Power Armour and is over three meters tall.
# Declare Catachan Exploding Turtles (dubbed "Mine Turtles" by the local populace) an endangered species. Seriously, these things explode all over the fucking place.
# Find a way to get a truce with the Eldar and/or Tau Empire, then throw a galaxy and webway-wide party with said allies
# Outlaw the appellations Empy, Emprah, Big E and so on. Not addressing me with my real name is [[Heresy]]!
# Dissolve the Ecclesiarchy. I hate those creepy fucks.
# Ask Officio Assassinorum about drugs they using on Eversors, then start selling it in Commorragh. If you can't defeat them, make money on them, I always say that
# After my Imperial Dealers completely take over the city, have them kick dark eldar as back to hell where they belong.
# Then fill this place with so much sex, drugs and gambling that it will put <s>Las Vegas</s> [[Asdrubael Vect|Dicky Drubby]] to shame.
# And there will be [[Daemonette|daemonettes]] serving drinks, or you can call me "Emprah"
# Open a zoo with [[METAL BOXES|rhinos in metal cages]]. Any visitors will be executed as heretics.
# Encourage creative thinking, like "there is better way to use guardsmen than suicidal wave" or "not everyone is heretic and need to be destroyed" among my forces
# Pay orks to make me another life-sustaining device. As long they believe it works, it works - because it's really piss me off that MOST POWERFUL PSYCHIC in the whole space can't keep himself in shape.
# Hire a squad of orks, then order them to loot vehicles of other races - soon the looted-monoliths and looted-mantas will conquer the world
# Pay a visit to Tau, then show them the meaning of old terran saying "better dead than red". Or blue, in that case. Blue-faced reds are enough blasphemy in MY GALAXY
# Promptly remember that the Soviet Union under Stalin was still more benevolent and just than the Imperium in my millennia long bath room break.
## Then remember that the Imperium before said bathroom break was more prone to exterminatus and mass-slaughter and intense atrocities than the grimderp Imperium.
### Well, shit, that's embarassing.
# Get off the damn throne and find something suitable to wipe my own ass ..... ohh look a Grey Knight.
# Lure every furfag to an unused planet using [[Faptau]] and [[Shlicktau]] as bait, then utilize any form of Exterminatus, thus solving the galaxy-wide furfag problem.
##Not those that make themselves useful.
## They'd fuck the [[Felinids]] anyways.
# Send a whole fucking legion of speesh mareeens to Mars and get them to finally clear out all the rogue robots from thousands of years ago living in the catacombs below Mars.
# Realize my mistakes as a father and further realize that my sons have actual emotions and stabbing them in the back/humiliating them/letting those with obvious problems lead legions of dedicated killers might not have been the best idea so I know what to do when I make Primarch Project, Part two.
# Launch a cross dimensional crusade to destroy all [[chakats|CHAKATS]]!
# [[Doctor Who|Hire the Atraxi to blow up a planet, but only give them 19 minutes to do so.]]
# Steal all of Trazyn's artifacts leaving behind a note with kindest regards.
# ENGAGE HIVE MIND IN PHYSIC DUEL
##USE PHYKER-DESTROYING-FINISHING MOVE. RANGE: GALAXY!
##FIX THE REST OF THE PSYKERS IN THE GALAXY, One Howling was bad enough.
##Re-learn how to spell psyker, and psychic. I invented those words, dammit!
# Beat up Khorne while dressed as Slaanesh.
# Bleach memory of having dressed as Slaanesh from brain.
# Rebuild the Avatar of Khaine from the 2 Bajillion Pieces, then lock him and Slaanesh in a cage. Shatter whoever lives into 4 Bajillion Pieces, and hide the 4 Bajillion Pieces with Creed.
# Challenge a Dreadnought to a fist fight.
# Stand on the bow of a Battle Barge and shout "[[Eye of Terror|Fly me closer]], I want to [[Chaos Gods|hit them]] with my sword!"(Destination:Eye of Terror, Targets:Chaos Gods)
# Throw [[Space Wolves]] an [[Ultramarine]] bone; quality family time.
# Play laser tag with [[Lasgun|flashlights]].
# Bring back [[Konrad Curze]], fix his brain, and then get him to explain what he was rambling on about just before he died.
# Clone [[Judge Dredd]] and use said clones to replace the Adeptus Arbites.
# Create a training system for the Imperial Guard so my citizens are more effective than glorified meat shields.
# Create a Chapter of Space Marines made up of only Pariahs just to troll Tzeentch.
# Give some nice relics to the [[Celestial Lions]] to help them rebuild. Inform Inquisitors that a loyal Space Marines chapter complaining about an Exterminatus after the chapter has taken out the actual heretics is no reason to get all pissy. Send the Inquisitors that got all upset about that into a Ork WAAAGHHH! to look for Ork Snipers.
# Replace the Imperial Guard's vehicles after chassis that weren't considered obsolete by World War II in exchange for stuff that's more functional. Also find out why the hell I thought that was a smart idea in the first place.
# Improve ship design so that time and resources aren't wasted putting details on making the sides of the ship look like cathedrals and including over-sized figureheads that serve no practical use.
# Kill Chuck Norris and disprove all the "facts" about him, they have no place in the Imperial Truth.
## He is too manly to simply be worhshipped as a mere "god". He is Chuck Norris.
# Make the Space Wolves to be accompanied by <s>Sabaton</s> Amon Amarth as they play 24/7.
# Make an ironically underpowered Codex: Matt Ward.
# Rewrite the sisters of battle codex. My bitches need some love.
## And some gigantism fun with their Astartes brothers.
# Build a Fucking anti-grav hammerhead baneblade combo.
# Tell [[Dorn]] and [[Perturabo]] to kiss and make up.
# Get my wallet back from the [[blood magpies]].
# Steal [[Ahriman]]'s library card.
# Bring [[Carron]] back, and lock him in a METAL BAWKS as a prison.
# Go to Mars, punch the Void Dragon back to Terra, teleport to Terra and punch it back to Mars. Afterwards go ask the Mechanicus where's their Machine GabeN.
# make a deal with the Hive Mind to eat everything except the Imperium.
## breed giant carnifex to eat the eye of Terror.
## give the jeanstealer some jeans.
## Preferably from Abercrombie and Fitch
# Get my hands on some Ethereal pheromones, then use them to get the Tau to join the Imperium, just as planned. Then sterilize those weebs as a taste of their own medicine.
# Lead a live re enactment of D-Day using guardsmen and cultists.
# Glue my model of Abaddon's arms on, rip the real Abaddon's arms off and proceed to beat him to death with them.
# Resurrect Horus for round 2 and FUCK HIM UP...... More than last time. Oorah.
# Tell Games Workshop that fucking axes aren't unwieldy! Seriously, how are fucking augmented super humans in fucking powered armor in any way slowed by a slightly heavy fucking stick?!
## I mean all the weight of an axe is focused in a pretty hard to control spot by a kinesthetics standpoint unless you want to break your wrist trying to stop a massive weight moving super fast with a relatively small handle. And with them being Space Marines, their axes are fuck hueg but sure, axes are somehow simpler to wield EVEN THOUGH fantasy and sci-fi axes are some of the most bullshit things to be devised. THIS IS WHY THEY USE SWORDS. Also axes are pretty ineffective against armor compared to hammers. Plus ineffective towards spuishies compared to swords. You only use them as a middle ground. But sure, act like you know all about weapons and nerdrage. Ok.
### Ask the person above how GW's butthole tastes.
# Destroy the metaphorical shark so that no franchise can ever jump it again.
# Throw Michael Grade into a woodchipper. Then have the wood chipper dismantled and melted into slag for getting Michael Grade's filth (I.E, any piece of him) on it.
# Learn [[Doctor Who|the Doctor]]'s real name.
# Catch em all.
# Become the King of Games.
## Including [[FATAL]]
# Rip off a Stompa's "Super Scorcha" and use it to make Tyranid toast. Because i'm just so damn hungry after counting the dead bodies.
# Steal skulls from khorne's throne and taunt an'ggrath with them as I teleport back to terra.
# Go to sleep. What? I'm fucking sleepy and I have not had a descent sleep in ages.
# Drop that hole Latin/High Gothic thingy as an official language, seriously WTF was I thinking when naming Adeptus Mechanicus, Astartes and Astra Militarum.
# Make my own animation studio to make adaptations of [[anime]] based on manga that didn't get finished.
# Use profits as part of my ongoing plan to become majority shareholder of Google.
# Put an end to youtube's copyright policy, then find those asshats that put came up with it and make them eat their own bones.
# Watch TV
# Fuck some shit up
# Fuck some sluts up
# Fuck some ca/tg/girls up
# Firebomb /mlp/ Seriously, I dont fucking care about MLP but that board is pure NOPE.
# Get some 'nids and let them rip those fucking PETA douche bags to fucking mincemeat.
# Fuck some more sluts up. Oh yeah.
# Get some Taco Bell.
# Close McDonalds.
# Open Bembos
# Watch the last airbender (Anime series not the fucking m night shyamalan peice of shit).
# Burn the Legend of Whorra.
# Kill M. Night Shyamalan and piss on his corpse
# Make melta explosives that can be fired from missile launchers, I'm sick of having to always get in the enemy's face to use metla weapons.
# Get the internet to shut up about Call of Duty(this does include any other ones as well),.<s>I'm</s>,(No everyone else with a life) is sick of hearing about it.
# Out tank astra with a rhino, because why not?!
# give orks something that can make a loud noise and can finally do shit.
# Release the Kraken and after it has finished destroying the enemies of Mankind, proceed to turn it into calamari.
# Eat pie, I like pie.
# Check progress on Grey Knight attempts to cross-breed Saiyans and Kryptonians for any females.
## Also progress on capturing/persuading Samus Aran to become a new Primarch for female Space Marines. Twice the (wo)manpower!
# Marry said females, that will scare off that [[Strike Legion|scary Empress bitch]].
# Sort out the contradictions in this list. Thing's a fucking mess.
# Commit fraud.
# Disband the Church of Scientology and send all the criminals in it to Guantanamo for crimes against humanity.
# Defeat the Reapers.
## Hi this is Commander Shepard, and GW is my favorite store on the Citadel.
# Get Kaldor Draigo into an intervention because he's hooked on fucking Warp Dust.
# Light my scented candle collection for proper relaxation.
# Collect all Crux Terminus badges so I can put my Golden Armour back together.
# Come up with the most absurd, annoying, head wrenching question I possibly can.
# Ask it repeatedly to that Zathras tool and laugh as his brain explodes.
# Create a giant can of bug spray and use it on all of the Tyranids
# Make Captain Titus Papa Smurf. We need someone who can make decisions without reading the book Rowboat Girlyman wrote 10,000 years ago.
# Steal the blood ravens
# Everyones mother.
# Track down the Timelord known as the Doctor, shake his hand, break his hand, kick his ass, steal the TARDIS and use it for the betterment of the imperium.
# Do some stretching because 10,000 years will give you such a crick in the neck!
# Resurrect Robin Williams for some decent propaganda.
# Drop kick a Hive Tyrant into the sun.
# Order a pizza, because it's been fucking years since I had take away food.
## Maybe order enough for my Custodes. They need some free time too.
# Find a xenos controlled planet, and bomb the fuck out of the filthy xenos scum! Note to self: Orks are probably easiest.
# Astrally visit other space opera universes to see how they do things, then make fun of them.
## Starting with Space Balls
# Find some more things to do.
# Find a living Astral knight,
# Find a cloning device for said Astral Knight,
# Create a Primarch for Astral Knight 2.0.
# Forgive the people of Krieg of their 1000 year old rebellion and tell them to stop being meatshields. Well, bigger meatshields than the guard usually are.
## They can even feel pride for being decent human beings again!
# Make deep strike safer so we don't have to fucking kill all the terminators
# Shoot whoever started the whole 'maetal bawkses' thing. I mean, Jesus, rhinos are elaborate machinery!
# Tell the Orks they're drunk and should go home.
# After collecting all the crux terminatus pieces, sell them on eBay and give all the money to THQ so they can finally fucking make Dark Millennium Online.
# Make warp dust into a smokable drug.
# Tell the Angry Marines to fuck themselves and thus piss them off even more.
# Make the Imperial Guard useful.
# Kill whoever wrote the last entry for extreme heresy.
# Give Commissar Yarrick better stats.
# Slap each and every [[Blood Angel]] for ever siding with or allowing their Battle-brothers to side with Necrons, at any point.
# Do a Word Bearers with said Blood Angels - in front of Guilliman's <s>preserved</s> body.
# Teach all my children's Legions that I made each of them different for a reason. Inform Ultramarines to "think of the next step" if things don't go as planned but tell them it's nothing personal. <s>Do CPR to Guilliman.</s> Already done.
# Give each guardsmen a pair of brass balls to intimidate their enemies/allies with.
# Trazyn was here.
# kill the idiot that didn't actually contribute and instead just signed his name.
# Eldrad was here too.
# CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDD.
# Find and anally rape <s>a Daemonette</s> Slaanesh.
# Take pictures of Schlicktau and give them to Faptau and Vice-versa
# Put a Giant Fleshlight in to a Emperor class Titan just to have another one fuck it/Fuck it himself
# Have a Ultramarine get lost in it.
# Make everyone look at Daemonette Titties for 1 hour a week.
# Install a Slut dispenser into the Golden Throne.
# Have Ultramarines drink alcohol so they are not so fucking boring. They might not be able to get drunk off of it, but that's what the elephant tranquillizer is for.
# Find out where my [[Sisters of Silence|Bitches of Silence]] went.
## How the fuck did Guilliman get them to come out of hiding.
## Girls love smurfs.
# Find the Sanguinor and beat him in a duel.
# Following my inevitable victory against the Sanguinor, find out who the fuck he is and bitch slap him. If he is Sanguinius he deserved it for not announcing himself for who he is and not fixing my <s>crumbling empi</s> <=HERESY. If he is not Sanguinius he gets another bitch slap for impersonating my second favorite son.
# Set the record straight regarding Ollanius Pius.
# Get Jango Fett to lead storm troopers.
## Clone him
## Use his gene-seed to create an army of Bounty Marines
## Get them to assassinate all the assassins
## Get them to assassinate the Assassino ministorum.
## Make them the new Assassino ministorum.
## Do not let him have a son. I don't want to deal with a Sarlacc pit every few years
# Organize the marriage of Miranda Nero and Captain Titus. If they wanted the plot of Space Marine, those two would've ended up getting married.
# On that note, I should allow Space Marines time to copulate with strong females. Would allow for a greater number of compatible gene seed initiates.
# Canonize Robin Willams [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Williams] as a mother fucking Imperial Saint. Why? Because I like to laugh and he makes me feel good. THAT'S WHY!
# Resurrect [[Lord Solar Macharius]] as he seemed like a pretty competent general as well as a tactical genius.
## And heal his War Wounds so he can be fully badass.
# Play Cards Against Humanity.
# Resurrect those dumbass Inquisitors who started a war with the [[Space Wolves]] and then execute them as example for how fucking stupid they were
# By any means necessary get it into the Inquisition's thick skulls that they were wrong for a starting a war with the Space Wolves and apologize for being heartless dumbshits.
# Get some proper aircraft. We fucking need 'em.
# Change the battle doctrine of the Imperial Guard to rely more on air superiority and less on throwing waves of men and tanks the enemy.
# Cure [[Indrick Boreale]] of his speech impediment (and death).
# Find Vulkan
# Give him a hug and the rest of his Chapter too.
# Troll Trazyn the Infinite and steal his everything.
# Build an army of sexy robot waifus that don't need to carry weapons because they everything the need built into them. If some animes and JRPGs can do it then I can do it better. Also make them all lesbians
# Figure out which branch of the Imperium to put the above army into.
# Convince all orks that I'm the most powerful being in the universe and that I can't be killed.
# Include an online tutorial on Games Workshops' website for each game it sells. If it's good enough for Privateer Press and Fantasy Flight Games it's good enough for us.
# Do away with the practice of separating Terminator Squads between ranged and assault. The Dark Angels made the idea work and Terminators don't carry anything that warrants staying at long range as it is.
# Go back to before the Age of Strife and steal/reclaim all the the lost [[Standard Template Construct| STCs]], and whole Forge Worlds if necessary.
# Mass produce skimmer [[Fellblade| felblades]].
# Destroy all overused [[meme| memes]].
# Help the [[Necrons| 'crons]] reach their apotheosis thing, and then have the Angry Marines Cock nob 'em so they don't fuck with my Imperium.
# Get those two [[Sisters of Battle]] to confess to each other already. Seriously. I'm tired of them acting awkward and shy around each other when they are clearly in love.
# Install a speech device on the golden throne, just incase I need to fix the Imperium's fuckups if i fall asleep on the job again.
# Snort some warp dust.
# Stop the custodians from oiling themselves up and actually do somthing fucking useful
## How did Girlyman get them to do something.
# Give the Ultramarines a new role, as dog sitters for the Space Wolves.
## Correction: The Space Corgis
# Give the Dreadknight pilots a badass helmet or something so snipers don't destroy them
## Fuck, just make them tall Centurions at this point. Would be more effective than the stilts they are now.
# Go into the Rock and either bitchslap Luther or the Lion depending on who the Watchers in the Dark tattle on
# Upgrade all Imperial [[Titans]] so they can fly
# Find out what Watchers in the Dark actually look like under their robes.
# Find out what [[Angels Sanguine]] faces look like under their helmets. Bitch slap them - in the face (if it is actually possible). Every single one of them.
# Resurrect Relic, and ensure that they make the rest of the Space Marine Series, Titus deserves to be a motherfucking Primarch
# Make it imperial law that at least once a year every guardsman in the universe is allowed one free beer for the shit they do, hopefully that should prevent their temptation to go heretic on my arse
# Also, make a chain sword, sword chain to literally whip the imperium back into shape.
# Hold the Primarch of the year awards ceremony again, hopefully Horus can stay away this time.
# Prevent the victory of Chaos in [[The End Times]] so that Games Workshop has to advance the story instead of pulling a shit reboot that changes nothing
## Expect making Ground Marines and changing race names for no reason.
## Fuck you Mannfred.
# <s>Declare non-furry aliens that can interbreed with humans and have fertile off-spring close enough to being humans</s>{{BLAM}}
## So [[Love Can Bloom]] is a thing then. Well then my Webway for Eldar hookers isn't a lost cause then!
# Get better cooperation the Imperial Navy and Imperial Guard. I lose far too many brave gaurdsmen because the navy's incompetence leaves them without air support!
## COMBINED ARMS PEOPLE, THIS IS WHY WE HAVE MANUALS.
# <s>bring back the squats</s>{{BLAM}} {{BLAM|kill ALL the xenos!}}
## And bring the Demiurg too.
# Demote [[Commander Kubrik Chenkov]] because that idiot isn't fit to lead a parade, and put him in some random platoon that's never heard of him where he might actually kill more enemies than guardsmen.
# <s>Grab those Eldar and tau plasma weapons. I am not letting highly explosive weapons to stay in use. Seriously, It is like playing Russian Roulette with a [[Exterminatus]]</s>not needed anymore as the mechanicus had finally repaired it so that said russian roulette will only happen if the user overcharges the gun
## Also, get the laser rifles. NO. MOAAAR. FASHLIGGHTSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
# Pat the Black Dragons on the back for putting up with all the shit that's thrown at them.
# Buy out Google and enforce Fair Use on Youtube with an iron fist.
# Berate the Adeptus Custodus for not preventing Goge Vandire's rise to power. Lazy fucks being lazy led to the worst thing for mankind since the Horus Heresy.
## Although considering they would much rather oil themselves, I'm guessing Vandire just bribed them with super lubricant.
# Steal a World Engine and start destroying Daemon Worlds with it.
# Have a backup plan for destroying Daemon Worlds if the World Engine can't do that.
# Finally defeat Leman Russ in an eating contest and a drinking contest.
# Find the Black Library and empty its contents. Then wreck it.
# Bring Ahriman to it and then trick him into thinking that the Black Library was just an elaborate hoax to troll him.
# Punish the Grey Knights for turning on the Space Wolves and not chopping the heads off those dumbass Inquisitors who decided the appropriate response to the Space Wolves wanting to spare the survivors of the Armageddon War was to try and kill them.
# Macha. Should. Be. FUCKED.
# Stop this whole "treating beastmen like mutants" thing. I did make them CITIZENS for a reason.
## I mean,they look better than all the gaunt, Necron looking women in the Imperium. I need a release too.
## <s>You know what? Furries are citizens too, so no more of this "furfaggotry" bullshit. I'd like you to show me something that could track a fucking mouse in a blizzard. Other than a space wolf.</s> {{BLAM}} EXTRA FUCKING HERESY YOU FUCKING FURFAG!
## A Felinid. We made them citizens so the others won't have bullshit arguments like this to be welcomed in.
## Bottle said tear, and give it to Girlyman. Then he might actually man up.
# Mix Speed, weed, heroin, cocaine, mushrooms, LSD, tobacco, pine-o-clean, petrol, diesel, battery acid, acid, salvia, some herbs and spices, some lettuce and tomato, some salt and vinegar, noodles, pretzels, pork scratchings, some doner kebab, vodka sauce, tabasco sauce, bam and the dirt is gone, red bull, Coca-Cola, Ajax spray and wipe, liquid hydrogen, protein shakes, some chicken and cheese, hash browns, jalapeno peppers, curry and wrap it all in a tortilla.
## Eat it.
## Make Leman Russ eat it.
## Make the hive mind eat it.
## Make Doomrider eat it. Laugh as his lightweight head explodes.
# Schola Progenium harem anime
## Starring [[Lucius the Eternal]]
# Visit that planet where I keep all of my pets. THEY BUILT A CITY!?
# Rematch the Void Dragon at that fight. Have the mechanicus duff all the others up.
# Get the mechanicus to make me an amp and a massive fucking pair of speakers, then attach them to a Baneblade, then plug in my holy guitar and shred so hard I make the Ordinatus Mars look like a disappointing fart.
# Bring back Warhammer Fantasy.
# Bring Horus back to life and kill him again.
# Find Mortarion and give him a bath.
# Find where those 100 Baneblades went...
# Have AdMec convert an Imperator Titan into my new power armor.
# Release an edict as to which order the gifts go in the song "The Twelve days of the feast of My ascension".
# Get Games Workshops to put free digital copies of all out of date codexes and army books on their website so fans of old books can still read them.
# Drain Khorn's blood lake, then eat his khorn flakes while watching sitting in his throne and watching something noblebright.
# Give Nurgle's garden a good spring cleaning, then perma-pork Isha.
# Delete Slaanesh's porn collection, then replace her crack with sugar.
## Also, create a extra strength anti-viagra and mix it in with the sugar.
## And whatever is the opposite of laxatives and mix that in with the sugar too.
# Ghostbust Tzeench's tower, then [[Blood Ravens|steal]] his change.
# If I have time, kill Khorn with kindness, kill Slaanesh with boredom, kill Nurgle with Mr. Clean, and kill Tzeench with Warhammer 40k's plot progression.
# Housebreak the [[Space Wolves|space corgis]].
# Make carnifex choke on a [[Ultramarines|smurf]] see what color it turns.
# Make a Warhammer fighting game
# Punch [[Lorgar]] in the face.
## Make him fuck the Lectio Divinitatus with sandpaper pages.
# <s>Punch the fucker who Blam'd me when I made numbers 441 and 443</s>{{BLAM}}
# {{BLAM}} a commissar cause it'll be funny
# Steal one of those [[Necron]] pylons and put them on Terra so that I no longer have to keep trying to not let it become a new Eye of Terror.
# <s>Make skub usage mandatory for all guardsmen</s>{{BLAM}}
# Catch all the C'tan shards and become the very best, the best that ever was.
# Give the Orks their home-world back. Those damn toaster fuckers on mars had no right to teleport it away and it turn it into Armageddon.
# Walk into [[Commorragh]], out troll and out dick [[Asdrubael Vect]], then bitch slap him to death in front of everyone in Commorragh.
## Then fuck [[Lelith Hesperax]] to death before I leave.
# Point out to AdMec that their statement that all technology already exists logically renders innovation impossible, as any attempt would only reproduce something that already exits. Secondly, some STC technology would be otherwise lost permanently. How's that for Divine Inspiration from the Omnissiah.
# Keep sending [[Kor'Sarro Khan]] to fight the Space Communists.
## <s>make sure he and Shadowsun get it on.</s>{{BLAM}} {{BLAM|Heresy!}}
## PROFIT.
# Kill all the Inquisitors who think it's a good idea to kill all [[Astropath|Astropaths]] and [[Navigator|Navigators]] (who we need to stop the Imperium falling apart), and [[Space Marines]] (because they are fucking awesome)
# Kill all the Inquisitors who thought that me dying and reincarnating into someone else was a good idea.
# Build a gun with enough [[Dakka]].
## Show it to the Orks.
## Let them fire at me til they run out of ammo.
## Laugh
## Show the Orks a gun with more than enough Dakka, and blast the shit out of them.
# Kill [[Lucius|Lucius the Eternal]] for good, as he can't possess me.
## Then resurrect everyone who got possessed, kill any Xenos and Chaos Worshippers who killed him, and bro fist anyone from the Imperium who killed him for being able to kill him.
# Dance, just do a little dance, I was stuck in a chair for 10000 years, it would feel good to move.
# Give the Lamenters a hug, they need it.
# Find out what the Blood R- chapter is from the bananastodes.
## And play the holo-game Dawn of War. I hear it's worth playing.
# Play Stellaris as Xenophobic/Militant Humans to see what the Great Crusade could have been.
# Make a Primarch out of the Commander of X-COM because he is far more competent than anyone in the Imperium.
# Attend Angelos' and Macha's wedding.
## And them promptly allow Eldrad to fuck shit up.
# Give my Caretaker Kitten pay since he doesn't get any
## Then send him to get tea
## And Carnifex crumpets
# Keep an eye on Rowboat Girlyman's waifu.
## Fuck, how many Primarchs, Space Marines, and Chapter masters have girlfriends now? Even if there isn't an actual connection?
## Keep an eye on the shippers.
### But don't read the fanfics.
# Cut off Faptau and Shlichtau hands.
# Eat a meatbread
# Rub some skrub on me bones, yarr.
# Work out that crick in my lower back.
# Go to Emprah Burger and get an Empy meal.
# Go back in time to finish the webway project and get Eldar prostitutes for myself and my sons. That should stop them from bitching constantly.
# Punch all the [[Marines Malevolent]] for being such dicks.
# Thank the [[Lamenters]] for getting shit done.
# Bitch-slap Guilliman for being a douchebag smurf.
# Bitch-slap the rest of the Ultratwats.
# Have my daily time with adorable centurion.
# Yell at the Inquisition and Grey Knights for thinking the Dark Angels are heretics.
# Officially rename the Primaris Primarysues.
# Drink ten pots of esspresso. Seriously, sitting stationary for about eleven millenia makes you need energy.
# Convince Ynnead to bring Sanguinius back to life. Then make him lord-commander of the Imperium.
# Make the battle cry of all gaurdsmen under twenty to be "For de Imperwium, oh fuck I dwopped my bwanket".
# Congratulate [[Dante]]
# Find out if Dante is who [[Sanguinius]] was talking about in his scrolls.
# Go get Magnymagic.
## Then screw him over in a game of Magic The Gathering with a mono-green deck.
## Subsequently keep screwing him over by psychically rigging every game.
# Find our who the fuck let Goge Vandire rule the Imperium and dickslap them.
# put a warp drive into a rhino and fly into the eye of terror, screaming MEATLE BAWKSERS because why the fuck not.
# Make Sly Marbo the ruler of the imperium because I need to catch up on shit that I missed while sitting on a motherfucking mechanical toilet for the the 10,000 fucking years!
# Tell mortaring to have a bath.
# Tell Abaddon to Grow a pair (of arms).
# Decide if traps are gay or not.
# Go digging through the ruins of Old Earth and find some tank designs from late M2/early M3.
# Figure out if Sly Marbo can talk.
## Or make any vocalizations other than "AAAAAAAAA," for that matter.
# I don't know, maybe get some tacos again
# Read this big fuck off list.
# Remove the numbers from the list, because it is supposed to be in no particular order
# Find the surviving Flame Falcons and help them rebuild. Then mind-fuck the inquisitor who declared them traitors.
# Steal a spacehulk, then take said spacehulk and pimp the fuck out of it.
## And after that is done, ram it in to that shit hole commorragh.
## But make sure to steal the drugs first before i do that.
# Assign entire regiments worth of sisters to every veteran regiment in the empire, those guardsmen need some lovin, and fire support.
## Name said sisters "whores of battle" and make them wear white robes, all for morale of course totally not to start filiming some hot guard on sister action.
### Which has nothing to do with sending a bunch of men-starved women to fight beside ''the'' most manly, courageous, manly, hardcore manly badasses in all of human existence.
# Figure out how to reverse entropy.
# Resurrect lieutenant Kage and bitch slap the daemon out of him, Then put him under Colonel Schaeffer again he's still got a Me damned job to do, Kage had figured it all out in the end also Resurrect lorii and make her a sister of battle.
# Carve a dick onto Guilliman's Helmet.
# Give Archmagos Cawl Tenure for actually being intelligent enough to improve the astartes design.
# Make an extermination service for Tyranids.
# Turn every First Founding chapter into a legion again.
# Simultaneously whip and nae nae
#Challenge Gork and Mork to a boxing match
#Catch up on some reading
#Resurrect Father Uriah and admit that I was a bit of a dick. Unless he has gotten up to some chaosy bullshit in the past 10,500 years, have a theology discussion with him after all we've both learned and see if he might make a better Ecclesiarch than the current bunch.
#find my power claw, and use it to fight yarrick in a one on one claw battle
##and after that resurrect fucking horus for a rematch
#make a search engine for this fucking list, because god damn is this shit long! How the fuck am I suppose to know what has and Hasin't been written down?!?!
#N.B: Find out what happened to my massive, uber awesome, Imperator Sonninum flagship. It is essential for the Great Crusade to begin anew
#Get therapy for my multiple personality disorder that is obviously the cause of the countless contradictions in this list
#Teach the [[Black Templars]] to not going around killing psykers, because the Imperium needs those to function.
##Make a point of emphasizing that other mutants are also not to be killed, unless they are traitors. Being a mutant doesn't count as treason.
#make the imperial palace daemon proof
##look, this isn't what he said (I'm but a lowly custodian), BUT COME ON! Do you know how hard it is to write down this FUCKING arse list while also protecting the emperor from, oh it don't know, daemons, crazed religious nutters, the occasional savage ork infestation of the lower levels, retired tech priests, and don't get me stated on those trice damned inquisitors who think the inter galaxy revolves around them! So in conclusion, fuck daemons, fuck nutters, fuck orks, fuck edgy tech nerds, and trice fuck inquisitors. Thank you.
#Outslap [[Marneus Calgar]]
#Put a limiter on [[Jaghatai Khan's]] gearbox to teach him the virtue of patience and show him what it feels like to try and drive anywhere on Terra (slow as fuck).
#Make sure evey single person in the Imperium knows about the [[Gray Knights]] and all they did in the past, that will teach them to kill loyal guardsmen for knowing of their existence.
##Then laugh as the [[Gray Knights]] slaughter thousands, thus making them more infamous.
#learn how to make attack helicopters, and no it's not so I can identify as one.
##Have all commissars shot guardsmen on site who honestly identify as an attack helicopter.
#Give Belisarius Cawl a promotion and a pat on the back for doing what the mechanicum is actually supposed to do.
#Eat some steak because I don’t want to just eat fucking comfort food and Carnifexes.
##See if cows still exist, along with pigs because bacon.
#Resurrect Elon Musk and make him Fabricator General of Mars.
#Have masterkey shotguns and M203 Grenade Launchers be standard issue for all lasguns. The Astra Militarum needs some fucking tactical flexibility.
##Give guardsmen sidearms because officers and Commissars shouldn’t be the only ones to have sidearms.
#Shove Erebus up Lorgar’s ass.
#Make those lore-video makers on YouTube be the official archivists of the Administratum. Maybe then the record keeping in the Imperium wouldn’t be so fucking spotty.
#Invite my sons over for a family dinner...may get a bit awkward between a few of them and I will need to prepare for a few holes in the wall, bolter rounds flying, chaos demons, angry Space Marines, and Vulkan bringing his jello mold he dyed [[Salamanders]] green.
#Give magnus a hug and tell him, he was a terrible son
#get 3 full legendary sets in warhammer 40k space wolf.
#play some Dawn of war 3
#Fuck everyone in the hole universe, so slanesh gets so strong that he destroys all other chaos Gods.
##????
###HOLY SHIT WHAT IS YODA DOING HERE!!!
####????????????????????????
#####VERY, VERY, VERY MUCH PROFIT
######??????????
#######?????????????????
########nope.
#Make a giant, universe - wide orgy.
#Forgive all my sons or create new sons so that I may recreate my Grand Crusade
##Make myself a god that I may stop the spread of Chaos, by becoing Chaos.
#Somehow create warpstorms inside the warp.
#Beat Nurgle in a Chilli Cook Off
##Hope he does just kill the judges
###Free the Eldar God from his Garden
####Bang Eldar God I freed from Nurgle's Garden

== Gathering Storm Special List ==
Holy shit, [[Games Workshop]] are actually doing some plot development for 40k. Okay, I'll make a special list just for anything that happens there.

# Get [[Ynnead]] to wake up fully so I have someone new to bitch-slap, but let him screw over [[Slaanesh]] first if I haven't already done it, as my time is to important to waste. Besides, the [[Eldar]] created Slaanesh, so let's give them a chance to sort it out.
## Actually make a deal with him, resurrect me or people I like if I need it (or can't be bothered to do it myself) and I won't bitchslap you.
# So [[Roboute Guilliman]] and some dude named [[Belisarius Cawl]] are creating some [[Primaris Marines|Neo-Space Marines]]. Okay, I'll see what they come up with, then make something even better.
## And definitely think of a better name than Primaris Marines.
###And tell Cawl to stop naming things after himself.
## And while I'm at it, make a super version of the Custodes, and give them even more bling.
# The [[Imperium]] has been cut in half by a massive warp storm. Okay, now I'm really pissed off. I am so going to close this.
## And the [[Eye of Terror]] has gotten bigger and enveloped Cadia. This both pisses me off and makes several points on the main list harder.
# So now [[Armageddon]] has been assaulted by a fuckton of [[Khorne]] [[daemons]]. I do hope the [[Orks]] and daemons kill each other, because it will be a pain in the ass for me to sort out.
# So [[Imotekh the Stormlord|Imotekh the Stormlord's]] empire just got a whole lot bigger, huh. Well at least the [[Tau]] has something new to fight. And the rest of them better not try anything with me, or I'll bitchslap them to death.
## And they won't be reanimating from that.
# Xenos are taking a back seat, and the focus is on the Imperium vs Chaos. Okay, I'm cool with that. Chaos really pisses me off.
## But I'm still gonna fuck over any xeno that pisses me off.
# Now that stats go above 10, I'm going to make a gun with Strength that's over 9000.
## My dick's Strength is over 9000. Just sayin.
# Set the Damocles Gulf back of fire. That was fucking awesome.
# Bitchslap the Tau's Fifth Sphere Expansion. I don't like those blue skinned motherfuckers.
## If possible, team up with the Farsight Enclaves to bitch slap the rest of the Tau.
#Four new Hive Fleets has appeared. But one of them is eating the others. Okay, see who wins, then stomp the survivors to death.
# Wait, is there really a chance the [[Sanguinius]] will return. Well if he does I'll make him tell me where he's been and what's he been up to for the past 10,000 years, on pain of bitchslapping.
## Same goes for any of the [[Primarchs]] that return.
#So [[Nurgle]] thinks he can take [[Ultramar]] for himself. Not cool. I'll going to punch the shit off him, the beat the crap out of him.
#[[Tzeentch]] is messing things up as well. I wonder, should I beat him intellectually or physically.
##Maybe punch him in the face then steal his books? He is a massive fucking nerd after all.
#How did [[Khorne]] attack [[Terra]]. He attacked my pad. As soon as I can, I'm going to find him, outrage him, then kick him in the balls so hard they explode.
##Also steal his throne.
##Then have the throne converted into golden skull decor for shits and giggles.
#Tell the AdMech that it time to start using some innovation. And reveal what secrets they've been keeping.

#Make the watchers in the dark imperial citizens and other loyal xenos loyal to the imperium I know I sanction there xeno race more than 10,000 years ago and there still keeping up a good fight
Give the surviveing men of iron a pardon produce them in limited quantities of them for the navy so we don,t use more survitors or poor indentured people from serving on navy ships instead make the, crew men and build more ships so we can solve a man power crisis will only convert people to survitors that actually deserve it.
# Instead of legion thing I’ll just do a bragged of five to ten chapters each because supreme smurf does have a point.

# tell the imperal commanders and Guilliman wait to go for finely giving my guardsmen air support by giving the guard air support under there control
#make alternatives for Titans for the guard to use know just the thing mobile suits from a thing I watch
#make sure all guardsmen get even better equipment
# give Koorland slaughter a eulogy That is fitting how awesome he was because that guy was a real life action hero and probably one greatest of them all and build a statue and also while I’m add it add and imperium hall of fame yeah because the imperium needs a hall of awesome
# confirm lord Dante,s appointment
#congratulate Dorn for building the web way project that I plan
#make the offico assianorium and the Adeptus Mechanicus have and American football game for a replica of the golden cog it will be play yearly

Ecclesiarchy

2020-04-20T22:52:13Z

2601:443:47F:3CA0:1958:C7C3:2A2A:98EE:

[[File:Cathedral.jpg|right|thumb|500px|The Imperium spares no expense on its houses of worship, unfortunately we can't say the same about civilian accommodations...]]
{{Topquote|Hence Theocracy is the worst of all governments. If we must have a tyrant, a robber baron is far better than an inquisitor. The baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity at some point may be sated; and since he dimly knows he is doing wrong he may possibly repent. But the inquisitor who mistakes his own cruelty and lust of power and fear for the voice of Heaven will torment us infinitely more because he torments us with the approval of his own conscience and his better impulses appear to him as temptations.|[[C. S. Lewis]]}}

{{Topquote|His natural prejudices assumed the priesthood to fall into a small number of categories: old, mad, dissolute, fanatical or a delightful combination of any of them.|[[Roboute Guilliman]]'s high opinion of Imperial priests.}}

"''Thought for the day: blind faith is a just cause.''"

The Adeptus Ministorum, or '''Ecclesiarchy''', is the state church of the [[Imperium of Man]] and works with the [[Inquisition]], making it ''the'' group which defines [[heresy]]. The name is derived from the Greek ''Ecclesia'', literally meaning Church but more generally "gathering" or "society" and specifically reffering to ancient Greek city councils.

When the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor of Mankind]] began setting up the Imperium, he began instituting the [[Imperial Truth]], which basically said "there are no gods and we're doing materialism and rationalism now" to starve the Chaos Gods of power from human worship. Yet even during the Great Crusade people began worshiping the Emperor as a "God-Emperor", including his own son [[Lorgar]], who wrote the Lectitio Divinatatus. Which, ironically, proved effective at causing pain to daemons when lines from it were spoken to them (since the Emperor had it backwards; faith and religion didn't give the Chaos Gods power, faith and religion towards ''other things'' besides Chaos actually starved Chaos of power). Suitably embarrassed, the Emperor politely informed Lorgar to stop that... by having the [[Ultramarines]] destroy a city the [[Word Bearers]] set up and then forcing Lorgar to bow down to Himself, [[Malcador the Sigillite]], and [[Roboute Guilliman]] in front of his legion. In an unfathomable and completely-impossible-to-predict act of [[Heresy]], this would lead to Lorgar worshiping the [[Chaos Gods]] and starting the [[Horus Heresy]].

[[File:Activate_Rosariuses!.gif|right|thumb|500px|The Emperor Protects!]]

And Roboute Guilliman is back, and he does not like the Ecclesiarchy (though it's their fundamentalism and fondness of luxury that Guilliman has issues with, not so much theism and religion itself, considering that even he started considering that Emprah might be a god (or at least became one since he got attached to the Port-a-Potty lighthouse) and started reading the Lectitio Divinitatus (and not just any copy, but one from before the Horus Heresy). Lorgar would be proud, no doubt; note his permissiveness of the Adeptus Mechanicus and Omnissiah, and his alliance with the Ynnari, agents of an avatar of the Eldar god of death). However the words of Cawl, Celestine and several others have convinced him of its necessity to the Imperium in its current state.

==The Church Itself==

The Ecclesiarchy itself is, officially at least, the one true faith of the God-Emperor. It is the organization dedicated to teaching His truths and His will to the vast masses of humanity, and all are united under its banner. Therefore, no matter where you go in the Imperium, the Cult of The Emperor can be found uniting its masses under His benevolent rule. The reality, of course, is a bit more complex. The problem is that the Imperium is vast. Like, really vast. So much so that no one really knows how big it is, and an empire that big couldn't even begin to manage a galaxy wide faith. Therefore, what actually happens is that the Church of the God-Emperor is split into many faiths that don't actually resemble each other in any way.

On some worlds, the Emperor is worshiped as a distant father, watching over his children from far away. Others associate Him with a force of nature, believing that the wind is His voice and when He is angry He shouts at them causing great winds. Others assign some sort of totem animal, usually a predatory bird, that is considered sacred in His eyes. Some practice hymns and chants that wouldn't be out of place in our modern age, others prefer ritualistic dances and animal sacrifices. Despite all these varied and at times bizarre forms of faith, one thing is certain; there is only one god, only one Emperor, and they are one and the same.

The Ecclesiarchy attempts to promote and maintain the Cult of The Emperor wherever it can, if it is possible, to shape the local faith into something a bit more orthodox. As such, any planet with an Ecclesiarchal presence will eventually begin to resemble other faiths. Chapels will be built, a hierarchy of priests will emerge (what that hierarchy or even the priests will look like is a different thing altogether), and more extreme or shocking practices slowly weeded out or shaped into different forms. Even human sacrifice is re-purposed for the Emperor's benefit, as a culture that practices such things is much more willing to give up psykers to the Black Ships. It also helps that the Ecclesiarchy is willing to take the very slow, very long conversion route and accept even remote or vague Emperor worship under different names (such as Fenris's Allfather view of Him) so long as they follow a few basic rules. Very much like how the Imperium itself is structured, really.

Ironically, this makes the Ecclesiarchy oddly tolerant and open minded as they travel across worlds. They are trained to see past the individual beliefs to examine the core of the faiths they encounter, and therefore are unexpectedly tolerant of opposing sects, where more close minded citizens would be quick to denounce them as heretics and traitors. After all, the Emperor is a wise and benevolent god who loves all his subjects regardless of who they are, and the Ecclesiarchy follows His example. Seeing as the average citizen does ''not'' view other forms of Emperor-worship as heretical or blasphemous, someone must be at least somewhat educating them on the idea that any form of Emperor worship is acceptable if the Ecclesiarchy (*cough*Inquisition*cough*) approves of it and so should they or else ''they're'' the dirty heretic and will be "corrected", although this doesn't stop religious civil wars from being waged on occasion which nicely explains why Sisters of Battle might be fighting ''other'' Sisters of Battle.

The one area the Ecclesiarchy tends to butt heads is with the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]]. On the surface, the Cult of the Machine God runs completely counter to worship of the God-Emperor, especially since the Mechanicus' religion predates the Imperial Cult (and the Imperium itself) by a few millenia. However, there is little that the Ecclesiarchy can do about it, since 1. The Treaty of Mars guarantees not only autonomy, but religious exemption to the Mechanicus, and 2. Pissing off the Mechanicus is a bad idea since they control all the ships and tech. Because going to war with half of the Imperium would be monumentally stupid, they came up with a compromise that the Emperor is the physical avatar of the Machine God, bringing the Mechanicus closer in line to the Imperial Cult. This compromise isn't very satisfying for the more extreme fanatics on both sides, which can and does form conflict between the institutions beyond the political strife of two powerful organizations arguing over jurisdiction but at least it prevents the Thirty Years War: Galaxy Wide Edition.

Less tense are the relations between the Ecclesiarchy and the [[Adeptus Astartes]]; Most Space Marines, the Black Templars excluded, do not officially embrace the Imperial Cult, having followed the older [[Imperial Truth]] that the Cult eventually supplanted. Instead most view the Emperor as a father figure than as a God. The Ecclesiarchy allows this since, in a manner of speaking, it's true that the Emperor is their father and they're not stupid enough to start a holy war against one of the most powerful military assets the Imperium has to offer; not to mention that few priests have the sheer balls to argue faith with a ten foot tall giant in heavy armor, although anyone else who denies the divinity of the Emperor is fair game. Well, that and claiming that the Emperor's own Angels can't view him as a man and not a god would be blatant heresy so their own followers would rip them to shreds with their bare-hands. Still, as a show of good faith, the Ecclesiarchy presents [[Rosarius|Rosariuses]] to [[Chaplain]]s to demonstrate the supposed relationship between the Imperial Cult and the ancient spiritual traditions of the Astartes. The only exemption are the Iron Fathers of the [[Iron Hands]], who worship the Machine God of the Mechanicus instead, something that bitterly annoys the Ecclesiarchy.

==History==
After the Emprah was hooked up to the Golden Throne, it was inevitable that various cults and sects would form in his wake. Over time many of these groups would fight, absorb, fade and/or coalesce into a somewhat stabilised organisation that was called the '''Cult of the Saviour Emperor''', which emerged out of this conflict as the eminent religious group in the Imperium. In M32 the cult managed to install its Ecclesiarch as a member of the [[High Lords of Terra]] and establishing itself as a genuine power player in Imperial politics, creating what became the state religion known as the '''Adeptus Ministorum'''.

It is important to note that prior to this, the Imperium ''was'' a secular state and it had taken nearly two thousand years for the shift towards forming a religious state to become a reality; but even then only two thirds of the Imperium followed the teachings of the Temple of the Saviour Emperor ''(Astartes and Mechanicus excepted)'', the rest either didn't get the memo, or followed one of the various other cults and groups, including the '''Confederation of Light''', which was the only serious contender to the Temple. Therefore one of the early acts of the new Ecclesiarch was to get the High Lords of Terra to agree to eradicate the [[Heresy|"spiritual threat"]] and declare the first War of Faith, eventually crushing the Confederation and forcing its remnants into hiding.

===Age of Apostasy===
{{Main|Age of Apostasy}}

The Ecclesiarchy was able to seize real political power around M36 in the wake of the [[Nova Terra Interregnum]]; after secular politics failed to reunite the twin empires of the Imperium, the Imperial Cult was able to leverage the widespread religious belief in the Emperor to bring Nova Terra back into the fold. However, this did not go smoothly; the Cataclysm of Souls resulted in vast amounts of bloodshed for anyone who rejected the Imperial Cult. This paved the way for the Age of Apostasy, when rival factions within the Imperial Cult battled for control of the church.

The Ecclesiarch, the head of the Ministorum, eventually supplanted the Master of the [[Administratum]] ''(the guy who actually runs the government)'' as head of the Council. To show just how much power they could wield, the Ecclesiarchy moved from Terra to Ophelia VII at great expense, leaving Terra to rot, then moved back once they felt that they made their point. This is a reference to real life, a similar period of time when the Pope moved the Holy See from Rome to Avignon and later moved it back in a clusterfuck which for complex reasons ultimately culminated in three different people claiming to be Pope at the same time.

After that, the Ecclesiarchy did what every powerful group does: become more interested in its own power than the people they're supposed to be ministering, and public funds and taxes ended up funneling their way into the church, religious officials were making decisions on national policy and the like, since the Ecclesiarchy figured that the church and the state should be pretty much the same thing. The Ecclesiarchy also had a standing army called the '''Frateris Templar''' which stood apart from the [[Imperial Guard]], but was presumably bad-ass considering how wealthy the church was at the time.

=== Reign of Blood ===
Things took a major turn for the worse when '''[[Goge Vandire]]''', the Master of the Administratum, became Ecclesiarch at the same time, making himself the single most powerful person in the Imperium and started the Reign of Blood. Even by 40k standards this guy was nutters: He convinced an all-female sect called the "Daughters of the Emperor" ([[Daughters of Terra|No, not them...]]) to rename themselves the "Brides of the Emperor" and become his bodyguards, they were also given the ''"finest weapons and armour"'' that the Administratum and the Ecclesiarchy could provide, which probably meant they were far better equipped than the later Sisters of Battle ever were.

He also instituted big brother policies of having [[Servo-skull]]s on every street corner listening for sedition, and engaged in mass executions/pillaging for the lulz, such as virus bombing planets, enslaving all female civilians of certain planets below the age of 12, melting polar ice caps etc, all the while claiming that he heard the voice of the Emperor himself.

A "rogue" preacher named [[Sebastian Thor]] and his "heretical" sect ''(the Confederation of Light who had been in hiding for around four thousand years)'', supported by a couple of Space Marine Chapters and the Adeptus Mechanicus, went "fuck this" and invaded Terra to remove Vandire from the throne (so to speak). To the surprise of all present (except the Brides/Daughters), the defenders not only held off the invaders, but actually managed to give them a real beating. Before things got out of hand, the Adeptus Custodes took the leader of the Daughters to the Golden Throne to have a chat with the Emperor. She got insanely pissed off by something that happened there and cut off Vandire's head.

===Thorian Reformation===

Afterwards, Thor didn't actually sit still and started travelling the Imperium to put things back together again and preaching the Emperor's good name. Once Terra had recovered, they had only one person in mind for the job of Ecclesiarch: Thor, but he refused to come back until the Imperium [[What|declared him a traitor]] and sent an army to collect him.

Back at the Imperial Palace, the Captain of the Custodes took him aside for a quiet word, and told him that he should either take the job or end up [[Blam|vanished]]. Thus, as the newly appointed Ecclesiarch, Thor started the Thorian Reformation, in which the Temple of the Saviour Emperor was supplanted by Thor's Confederation of Light. The Ecclesiarchy was stripped of all military power and the '''Frateris Templar''' had their funding cut and were reduced to the '''Frateris Militia''' which were not allowed to be paid or trained under the Ecclesiarchy's budget, but, fortunately for them, since they were specifically banned from keeping "''men'' under arms", they [[Rules lawyers|reformed]] the Daughters into the [[Sisters of Battle|Battle Sisters]] of the Adepta Sororitas. Why aren't women covered under "''men'' under arms" since "men under arms" is a euphemism for soldier? Because Imperial Bureaucracy, if there's a possible loophole somewhere, someone's going to exploit it, obeying only the literal letter of the law and (ironically in this case) not the spirit.

The [[Inquisition]] also set up the [[Witchhunters|Ordo Hereticus]] to make sure no one deviated from these new rules. As well as giving rise to the '''Thorian''' faction of puritans, who believe that the Emperor used Thor as a vessel for his power and intent, and now search for other similar vessels as a means of potentially resurrecting the Emperor.

The reformed Ecclesiarchy is only slightly less corrupt and divorced from reality as it was before; but now they feel guilty and beat themselves -and everyone they minister to- about it! Occasionally, they even try (and fail) to fix it!

==Temple Tendency==

{{Main|Temple Tendency}}

Sadly, some people are still ''particularly'' abusive, and these people are accused of having a "temple tendency." Additionally, there's an ''actual'' heretic group called the Temple Tendency. They believe the Confederation of Light are the ''real'' traitors and (secretly) preach their creed in the hopes of turning back the clock. They employ preachers known as Vandiran Apostates, or Shade Priests, which is a much cooler name than "Confessor."

==Organisation==

At the top of the organisation is the Ecclesiarch himself, who is essentially the '''Space Pope''' and the equal-second (after the Master of the [[Administratum]] and along with the Fabricator-General of [[Mars]]) most influential individual in the entire Imperium.

Beneath him are the '''Cardinals''' of the '''Holy Synod'''. Although there are Cardinals all over the Imperium, each ruling their own Diocese ''(which is the religious equivalent to a '''sector''' in terms of size, but not organised the same way)'' the Holy Synod of Terra has a conclave of Cardinals who assist the Ecclesiarch in making religious decisions. Also, occasionally one of the members of the Holy Synod gets a seat on the [[High Lords of Terra]], which is essentially giving the Ecclesiarchy more influence in Imperial affairs (particularly if the Abbess of the Adepta Sororitas gets a seat at the same time)

Beneath the Cardinals it moves downwards through the varying ranks of preachers, clerics, bishops, vicars, abbots, ministers, confessors all the way down to the the guys who light candles at shrines.

Aside from everyday priesthood there are a number of spin-off organisations that operate under the auspices of the Ecclesiarchy in one way or another.

===Adepta Sororitas===
{{Main|Sisters of Battle}}

While the sisters of battle represent the military might of the Ecclesiarchy the other orders of the sororitas also play highly influential roles for the church.

The '''[[Orders Dialogous]]''' keep the records and curates the relics of the Ecclesiarchy and are some of the most well educated and respected people in the entire Imperium when it comes to researching histories, languages or customs.

While the Schola Progenium trains generations of orphans to become "ideal" Imperial citizens, the '''[[Orders Famulous]]''' get the job of "attending" the next generation of the Imperial elite. Teaching and educating key figures in Imperial nobility, these individuals grow up to be some of the most devout followers of the Imperial Creed and inevitably strong supporters of the Ecclesiarchy.

The '''[[Sister Hospitaler|Orders Hospitaler]]''' are perhaps the most appreciated of the sisterhood, being those who are medically inclined and trained in the arts of healing; making them welcome additions in warzones and noble households alike. Though they are a non-militant order, they are often exposed to frontline combat and many of them are hardened veterans who make ideal candidates for recruitment by the [[Inquisition]]; where their skills at keeping subjects alive also makes them highly effective interrogators.

===Schola Progenium===
{{Main|Schola Progenium}}

===Frateris Militia===
While the military might of the Ecclesiarchy was heavily curtailed by the '''Decree Passive,''' that hasn't actually stopped them from summoning huge amounts of manpower when they need it.

All a cardinal needs to do is point somewhere and say the word "CRUSADE!," and people will show up in their millions, either out of fervour to serve the Emperor, or because people who don't show enough fervour tend to end up on fire. Most of them will be untrained and ill-equipped, but when it comes to manpower, the Ecclesiarchy can usually rely upon numbers to rival that of the [[Imperial Guard]].

Some Ecclesiarchy-ruled worlds, such as Piety V (featured in ''Carcharodons: Outer Dark''), utilise Frateris Militia as a de-facto PDF. Since these are standing armies, this practice is technically heresy, but since a planetary governor is feudally obligated to ensure the security of his world, it is a practice which is widely tolerated.

[[Games Workshop]] actually used to have rules for the Frateris Militia waaaay back in the 2nd edition ''Sisters of Battle'' Codex, but they vanished inexplicably, and reappeared briefly as a Troops choice for ''Codex: Witchhunters'' in a White Dwarf trial rules article under the name "Zealots", which could equally have represented [[Redemptionist]]s as well as the Frateris.

They haven't been forgotten though, and FFG published rules for playing one in [[Dark Heresy]], which is a decent way of giving more non-combat oriented careers the basic training in weapons and a few combat talents far earlier than they could have otherwise obtained.

===Crusader Houses===
{{Main|Crusaders}}
A breach of the '''Decree Passive''', Crusaders are professionally trained warrior-monks, equipped with specialist wargear.

[[Crusaders]] are trained in secretive warrior-lodges that are not directly associated with the Ecclesiarchy at all. According to the Codex: Adepta Sororitas the Crusaders associated with the Ministorum are recruited from the "Guard of the Cardinals Crimson". However, this may be a front, as many Crusader Houses are sponsored by the [[Inquisition]], though it is uncertain if the Ecclesiarchy itself actually knows about that. For its part, the [[Inquisition]] deliberately allows the Ecclesiarchy to possess Crusaders in small numbers - there are all manner of uses for having a provable crime always ready to hand that the Ecclesiarchy is guilty of and they are really good at killing things too.

Membership is by invitation-only, chosen from those who will make ideal hand-to-hand warriors. Within the house they are deeply immersed in the Imperial Creed and are trained to be perfect bodyguards, putting the well-being of their holy charges ahead of themselves.

===Battle Conclave===
{{Main|Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave}}
Whenever a traveling priest (or sometimes an Inquisitor) wants a little more protection, they can form up an [[Ecclesiarchy Battle Conclave]]. Because they can't have too many men due to the Decree passive, many opt instead to go with the scariest, most righteously out-of-their-mind fanatics they can find. Mostly formed from [[Arco-flagellant]]s, Crusaders, and [[Death Cult Assassin]]s, this terrifying force would make anyone think twice about fucking with him.

===Missionarius Galaxia===
Not all of the priests tend shrines or preach at mass. One of the most well known functions of the Ecclesiarchy is bringing religion to the heathen humans beyond the territories of the Imperium.

Most of the missionaries accompany the Imperial Guard as they expand outwards, conquering or reconquering worlds, making certain that those who rebuild afterwards become loyal subjects of the Imperium.

Some Missionaries take it a bit further and don't even travel with Imperial Guard regiments, instead preferring to travel alone to hostile human worlds and bringing the light of the Emperor to them in more peaceful ways. These '''Torchbearers''' are expert survivalists and considerably more resilient than normal Ministorum Priests, having to live and prosper without any back-up at all.

Oddly, Missionaries tend to be some of the most tolerant and even tempered parts of the Ecclesiarchy even if their faith is beyond question and reproach and missionary lore as a whole is rather devoid of the usual grimdark and is instead...actually a really reasonable approach? As the Ecclesiarchy regards enforcing a single, consistent central dogma pure of any syncretic elements to be far too hard to do for too little reward in a rare example of common sense, Missionaries are instead expected to work with the heathens they want to convert and ease them into their new faith. Indeed overall the Imperium is far more tolerant of heathens then heretics and generally prefers an unusually soft and diplomatic approach to dealing with the former.

After all, a heretic or apostate is someone who knowingly flouts or abandons a faith like the Imperial Creed, but heathens by definition were never part of the faith to begin with; and so have a measure of innocence, especially if their heathenry was born of ignorance. And as part of this innocence and recognising the impossibility of enforcing a strict and singular dogma, the Missionary usually tries to modify the local faith into something more compatible with the Imperial Creed rather than tear their religion down and start from scratch.

In moves that are directly inspired by real world conversion efforts by monotheistic faiths throughout history, missionaries will look for the god or goddess held in the highest esteem by the local culture and then identify them with the Emperor. The other gods will then be equivocated to either aspects of the Emperor or to the most similar Imperial Saint in the canon depending on what works best. Often the Missionary will even study the theology of the local culture so in depth that they'll successfully argue that the Imperial Creed is a truer interpretation of the religion than what the established authorities are preaching.

They also try to preserve most local traditions as much as they can in order to make converting an easier sell with a few exceptions, which are usually traditions we in the modern world would find abhorrent like say; ritual rape or eating people. Cannibalism for example is strictly forbidden by the Imperial Creed <s>except when Space Marines eat people's brains apparently</s> and so missionaries usually try to abolish such traditions and replace them with more symbolic eating of flesh and blood like how at the catholic church the "body and blood of christ" you eat at mass is just bread and wine that stands in for eating the poor bastard of a carpenter. They do however, try to change attitudes towards psykers and mutants to be more in line with official policy; psykers should be compliant servants who will willingly accept being taken by the black ships to serve humanity in some way, not kings and lords ruling over normal humans and unstable mutants need to be culled.

Whether the missionary works from the top down by converting the powers that be who will then enforce the imperial creed on the plebs or from the bottom up by converting the masses who will rise up against their heathen overlords and create a new society depends on the missionary's preferences and what they feel is easiest. As bringing new souls and cultures into the Emperor's light is holy work, just about all strategies are allowed in the name of saving the souls of heathens from the dangers of their ignorance.

As missionaries usually want converts, not corpses; use of force is generally a last resort and even then it's usually said force is used non-violently like having a rogue trader's ship eclipse the sun over their location to spook the primitives or show off the power of the imperial guard. The main exception to this is when the local religion is found to be based around xenos, abominable intelligence, or chaos worship. At this point the missionary's expected task is to call in the guard, sisters, or some other available military force to crack some skulls.

===Confessors & Witch Finders===
Like the [[Inquisition]], the Ecclesiarchy concerns itself with rooting out heresy and apostasy. Unfortunately for the Ecclesiarchy it is not officially sanctioned to do so by the Imperium. However that has not stopped the ministorum from trying.

'''Confessors''' are loud, bombastic and charismatic priests of the Imperial Cult, but are not given specific duties like most members of the priesthood. Instead they are given carte blanche to travel freely from settlement to settlement and "cleanse" them of their sins. Typically by performing rousing soapbox rants about how wicked thoughts make the <s>baby Jesus</s> EMPEROR cry. So people are encouraged to come forward to confess their sins to the confessor where he can decide an appropriate penance for them to clear their consciences. Confessors can be like the 40k equivalent of celebrities, and there is often great anticipation of their arrival in town, and big crowds show up to hear them preach (and probably hear their neighbours salacious confessions too). Sometimes people don't want (or have sins) to confess, so the confessor has to take it a [[RIP AND TEAR|little bit further]] to coax the individual to think hard about their crimes. Usually to the point of the penance afterwards being more merciful than the coaxing itself. Frequently employed as Inquisitorial henchmen.

'''Witch Finders''' fulfill much the same function, except are far more pro-active in "finding" sinners but are not necessarily required to be ordained priests, and many of whom are actually [[Inquisitor]]s-in-training. Results can vary in their effectiveness in finding heretics though, since they usually take a religious approach to determining the guilty rather than an investigative approach like normal "sane" people. Some examples of this crazy manner of determining guilt is to lock a suspect in an airlock and evacuate the air for an hour, Or to bury a suspect to his neck in sand and sew their mouth shut and leave them for a week... if they survive then they are deemed a witch and must be incinerated. While this is logically true, since if they survive they MUST be supernatural, it doesn't seem very hopeful for the innocent now does it? At least the Inquisition-proper occasionally gives you some intelligent form of investigation, even if you still die for being innocent.

==Notable Members==
* [[Arch-Confessor Kyrinov]], an Arch-Confessor who uses overt loud-mouthed preaching to conceal the fact that he's a cunning manipulator, often subverting heresies from within.
* [[Uriah Jacobus]], a belligerent old missionary who won't stop spreading the word of the Emperor to the darkest parts of the galaxy even though a sane person probably would've retired decades ago.
* [[Cardinal Armandus Helfire]], a bear of a man, Helfire can often be found leading Wars of Faith against Chaos forces near the Eye of Terror. Despite his station, he can often be found living and fighting amongst the soldiers he leads.
*[[Witch Finder Tantalid]]

{{Template:Imperium}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]]

Badasious

2020-04-20T22:04:31Z

2601:443:47F:3CA0:1958:C7C3:2A2A:98EE: /* Things Inquisitor Badasious has been known to do: */

[[Image:Inquisitor_Badasious(Medium_Size).PNG|400px|thumb|right|Inquisitor Badasious, pulling off his best Big Boss impression.(WIP)]]
Badasious is a Puritan Inquisitor who is known for his being a "Badass" in pretty much anything he attempts.

Badasious is the only one in the Inquisitorial forces that can command the [[Angry Marines]] on what to attack. He proved his Badassiousness, and works out the tactical deployment of the Angry Marines, because they're too angry to do it themselves. When he’s not organising the angry marines or being a general badass he acts as a sort of leader for the [[Codex - Officio Iratus|Officio Iratus]], the very angry (and somewhat rogue) part of the inquisition and ministorium.

Inquisitor Badasious is known to have a hallway that takes 10 minutes to jog down (so somewhere around 2 miles long), lined top to floor with the skulls of his enemies.

== Things Inquisitor Badasious has been known to do: ==

*He can put a Space Marine to shame. (and at one point beat one to death with his boot, this actually happened.)

*There used to be female space marines. Badasious fucked them to extinction. (HERESY!) (BADASSERY!)

*Badasious once got into a fight with an Imperator-class Titan and punched it in the face, shattering it into a million pieces.

*Badasious once got into a fight with a Leman Russ Battle Tank and punched it in the front armour, shattering it into a million pieces.

*Badasious once got into a fight with a [[Baneblade]] and punched it in the front armour, shattering it into a million Leman Russes. This ability has caused the AdMech to lose a lot of bussiness.

*Inquisitor Badasious can impregnate human females just by glaring from across the street. [[Eldar]] women, too. In fact he has so many Half-Eldar kids that every few minutes he's psychically contacted by large numbers of Eldar females who tell him to take care of his kids only for Badasious to make them pregnant all over again.

*Trivia:90% of all Eldar babies born by the 42nd Millennium are related to Badasious. (HERESY!)

*Badasious is so badass, that he can satisfy a [[Sisters of Battle|Sister of Rage]].

*Badasious once tricked a "planet full of assholes" into getting themselves Exterminatus'd. (Actually happened)

*[[Kharn]] wants to be Badasious when he grows up.

*Badasious once looted Ghazghkull's main space hulk, then he peed on his rug.

*Badasious was once cloned while visiting Krieg in an effort to replicate his badassness. His three clone sons now battle over who received his dominant genes (METAL GEAR AWESOME HERESEY!!! TRANC DARTS FOR EVERYONE!!!)

*Inquisitor Badasious requires no Geller field to travel the Warp. He just sits in a glass dome at the top of the ship and stares down the daemons until they piss themselves and slink away.

*Eldar Banshees hone their minds and bodies preparing for Badasious.

*Creed learned everything he knows about strategy from watching Badasious play chess once.

*Slaanesh was once straight, but when he saw Badasious, he went bi (definite heresey, slaanesh is an equal opportunity genital devouer).

*Badasious once got into an arm-wrestling competition with [[Abaddon]]. Abaddon had his arms before that.

*Badasious is so damn badass, this page does not do him justice.

*[[Matt Ward]] wishes his Ultramarines were half as badass as him.

*Badasious once listened to Tzeentch for two hours, and Tzeentch's head exploded.

*Badasious was about to lose a game of rock paper scissors to a daemon prince but pulled of Exterminatus with his fingers and literally mind fucked the daemon prince.

*Sly Marbo sometimes wishes he was Badasious, but then he remembers that he’s sly marbo and therefore superior, badasious thinks the same but opposite thing.

*Badasious used to go to Yarricks, creeds, sly marbos (and now fuklaws) weekly poker night, but was banned after always playing royal flushes, even when he only had one card in hand.

*Badasious never executes fleeing guardsmen, the guardsmans comrades simply beat the him to death out of fear of what Badasious might do if he has the kill the retreating guardsman himself.

*Badasious once thought about becoming a commissar, the imperial guard rejected his application on the grounds that badasious simply applying for the job resulted in hundreds of guardsmen preemptively commuting suicide out of sheer terror.

*As badasious doesn’t need the astranomicon to navigate he simply uses its light to tune his tv.

*If badasious ever turned to chaos chaos would automatically lose as badasious executed all the heretic guardsmen and space marines out of simple muscle memory.

*Slaanesh is too scared to sleep with badasious, which just makes him/her/it/they want to do it just to see what would happened.
**Last time it happened it created the Big Bang, although both sly Marbo and badasious claim to have done this so we can only assume that it was actually a team effort.

*Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so, unless your badasious in which case time and lunch is a steak sandwich with a side order and chips with spicy sauce.

*Badasious once got into a fight with Leman Russ and punched him in the face, shattering HIM into a million wolf-pieces. (HERESY!)

==The Skulls of his enemies==
Like Sly Marbo, being a badass doesn’t stop you from having enemies, a lot of enemies, such humans on current day earth would have at least tens of thousands of enemies, multiply that out to a galactic scale and the list become very, very long indeed. This doesn’t bother badassious as there’s plenty of room for more skulls in his hallway of skulls, the man collects so many skulls in fact that he is the main reason my beserkers of khorne are still in business, as badasious effectively pushes up the value of an individual skull by removing them from the galaxy and into his collection, making the skulls still left uncollected more valuable. In fact, if a bezerker were to ever get hold of badasious’ skull collection he would immediately devalue the skull and leave every single worshipper of khorne unemployed, instead relying on collecting blood for the blood god, which as everyone knows is no way to earn a living, blood being an infinite resource.

Cranial based economics to one side however, badasious has a lot of skulls, most of whom are nameless foes but their of skulls in his collection which once belonged to mighty enemies, such as:
*The head of the original swarmlord (still with papa smurf chunks in its teeth).
*The head of ward (although that head has been in the possession of most of the factions in the 40k universe)
*The head of every squat (you don’t really think it was the tyranids who killed them did you? How do you think GW retcons stuff?).
*The head of every person executed by guillotine during the French revolution, although they died long before Badasious was born they were enemies of the establishment, and therefore HERETICS! He also finds their period wigs amusing, it's the simple things in life which keep him going.
*An uncounted number of heads belonging to necron lords possessed by Trazyn the Infinite. Badasious has a small plinth half way down his corridor of skulls reserved for Trazyn's head when he finally gets hold of it.
*A head from a greater deamon from each of the [[malal|5]] chaos gods other than the head of a great unclean one because:
**1. They’re entirely capable of functioning without a head, and.
**2. They can regenerate their necks faster than badasious can hack.

== The Purging of Talis ==
Badasious has been seen with tears sneaking down the sides of his chiselled, weathered features. For a moment, he seems less like a living legend, the bogeyman in an organization of bogeymen, and more like a mortal, old beyond his features, and his expression gaunt, not edged, lined not with harshness, but weariness.
One of his Interrogators, who was attending him at the time, reported that he hear Badasious croak a phrase under his breath in awe as the tiny diamonds rolled down his cheeks.
"Such divine beauty."
Inquisitor Badasious then turned and strode quietly from the bridge of his personal battlecruiser, almost at peace, as the corrupt, traitor filled and chaos tainted planet of Talis concluded its molten florescence and subsided into glassy fragments of ash on the viewscreen behind him.

== Badasious Profile ==
===7th edition===
For those who want to field a Inquisitor that costs as much as a Land Raider, yet want a lot of fun with seeing their opponents faces when a single Inquisitor kicks load of heretical and xeno arses.

'''<big>Inquisitor Badasious (425 pts - Lord of War)</big>'''

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! I !! A !! LD !! Sv
|-
| Inquisitor Badasious|| 5 || 5 || 5 || 5 || 4 || 4 || 4 || 10 || 2+/4++/3++
|}

'''Unit Type''': '''Infantry (Character)'''

'''Unit Composition''': '''1 (Unique)'''

'''Warlord Trait''': Inquisitor Badasious can chose two Warlord Traits from Codex Inquisition. He can choose any combination from both the Inquisitorial Warlord Traits and the Ordo specific Warlord Traits. Alternatively he can choose two different Warlord Traits from the Warlord Lists shown in the Warhammer 40000 Rulebook. See the '''BADASS''' SR.

'''Wargear''': War Armor of Badasious, Blade of Badasious, Hand of Badasious, Shield of Badasious, Frag and Krak Grenades.

'''Special Rules''':
* '''Independent Character'''
* '''Psyker (Mastery Level 3)'''
* '''Zealot'''
* '''Rage'''
* '''Rampage'''
* '''Counterattack'''
* '''Relentless'''
* '''Crusader'''
* '''Move Through Cover'''
* '''Feel No Pain'''
* '''It Will Not Die'''
* '''Adamantine Will'''
* '''BADASS'''
* '''Nigh-Invulnerable'''
* '''Lord of Rage'''

Psychic Powers:
Inquisitor Badasious generates powers from the '''Divination''', '''Pyromancy''', '''Biomancy''', '''Telekinesis''', '''Telepathy''' and '''Sanctic Daemonlogy''' disciplines.

Special Rules:
* '''BADASS''': Badasious is known for his incredible feats of badassery. So great are his skills, as well so long is his list of successes that even the [[Grey Knights]] would have difficulties in recreating what the Inquisitor is capable of doing. Inquisitor Badasious deals additional d3 attacks when he's engaged against enemy squads, and all his attacks deal Instant Death on a roll of 6 in Challenges. When fighting models with the Daemon and/or Monstrous/Gargantuan Creature USR, Badasious forces his quarry to re-roll once per-turn successful attacks against him. Badasious is so badass that he can choose any combination of two Warlord Traits from Codex Inquisition (both Inquisitorial Warlord traits and any of the Ordo specific ones). Alternatively he can choose two different Warlord Traits from the Warlord Lists shown in the Warhammer 40000 Rulebook. If Badasious chooses the '''Will of Iron''' or the '''Purity of Mankind''' Warlord Traits, then he gains +1 to his Adamantine Will saves and A respectfully. Badasious can use '''Sanctic Daemonology''' powers normally like any Psychic Discipline presented in the Warhammer 40000 Rulebook.

* '''Nigh-Invulnerable''': Badasious met all manners of terrifying, army destroying weapons that would leave nothing standing no matter how durable or powerful they are, and survived to tell the tale. Is it luck, sheer stubbornness, The Emperor's grace, or a combination of all three, Badasious doesn't try to think about it. What really matters is that the enemy failed to kill him and they will pay for failing. Badasious counts as having the '''Eternal Warrior''' USR, yet additionally when a enemy with a D Strength weapon rolls a 6 on the Destroyer Weapon Attack Table and strikes at him, Badasious suffers instead a single wound.

* '''Lord of Rage''': Badasious can be part of a [[Angry Marines]] detachment instead of an Inquisitorial one. Additionally all Angry Marines in a range of 12" of Badasious can re-roll once per turn any failed WS, BS, or Ld rolls. He takes up a HQ slot on the Force Organization Chart.

Wargear:
*'''War Armor of Badasious''': An armor that was specifically modified by Badasious to fit his needs. Apart of being meticulously crafted by master artificers, the armor incorporates a Rosarius that is powered by Badasious's own indomitable soul. Additionally the shield generated by the Rosarius is even harder to hit by any ranged or melee weapon. Daemons will find it more difficult to fight Badasious as his armor also weakens them greatly when in the vicinity of the Inquisitor. The War Armor of Badasious is a Artificer Armour with a built in Rosarius and grants him a 2+ Save and a 4++ Invulnerable Save. Additionally any enemy model that tries to hit Badasious with their melee or ranged weapons do so with a -1 to WS and BS. Models with the Daemon USR additionally get a -1 to their Inv Saves, S and I when in 6" of Badasious.

*'''Blade of Badasious''': An ancient relic blade of unknown origin, this weapon served Badasious faithfully for many years and cut down many enemies of The Emperor with a terrifying force, mocking their defenses and resilience. Although it's two-handed, only Badasious is physically strong enough to wield it in one hand with ease. The Blade of Badasious is a Relic Blade with the following profile:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! S !! AP !! Type
|-
| Blade of Badasious || - || 3+ || 2 || Melee, Master Crafted, Rending, Armourbane, Fleshbane
|}

*'''Hand of Badasious''': Inquisitor Badasious's personal bolt pistol that served him well since he became an Acolyte. It's actually hard to call it a bolt pistol, as it is too big to be qualified as one. Over the time since his career as an Acolyte, Badasious's pistol underwent a series of modifications and upgrades in order to match up with the hazards its owner needed to deal with. The Hand of Badasious is a Bolt Pistol with the following profile:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! S !! AP !! Type
|-
| Hand of Badasious || 36 || 6 || 3 || Pistol, Master Crafted, Shred, Force, Psy-shock
|}

Once per turn it may be swapped with the '''Shield of Badasious'''. Badasious loses then his ranged attack unless he swaps back. Once swapped, Badasious cannot swap back until the next turn.

*'''Shield of Badasious''': Inquisitor Badasious's personal Storm Shield. Although it is smaller than the more usual Storm Shields, yet still larger than the Combat Shields used by Space Marines, the shield is made out of lighter and more durable materials and incorporates a small yet powerful energy generator. Due to it's size and weight, Badasious can quickly stun his enemies in combat with a precise concussive hit, or put it on his back and draw his bolt pistol. The Shield of Badasious is a Storm Shield that makes Badasious's melee attacks gain the '''Concussive''' USR. Stacks with '''War Armor of Badasious'''.

Once per turn it may be swapped with the '''Hand of Badasious'''. Badasious loses then his 3++ Inv Save and his attacks lose the '''Concussive''' USR unless he swaps back. Once swapped, Badasious cannot swap back until the next turn.

===8th edition===
Inquisitor Badasious is a single model armed with the Blade of Badasious, the Hand of Badasious, the Shield of Badasious, and Frag and Krak Grenades

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! M !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! A !! LD !! Sv !! Points cost
|-
| Inquisitor Badasious || 7” || 2+ || 2+ || 5 || 5 || 7 || 4 || 10 || 2+ || 250
|}

{| class=wikitable cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=centre
|- valign=top
! Weapon !! Range !! Type !! S !! AP !! D !! Abilities
|-
| '''Blade of Badasious''' || Melee || Melee || +2 || -4 || 3 || This weapon always wounds its target on a 3+ or better. Units damaged by this weapon subtract 1 from their leadership characteristic until the next turn.
|-
| '''Hand of Badasious''' || 36" || Pistol 3 || 6 || -3 || D2 || This weapon always wounds its target on a 4+ or better. Units damaged by this weapon subtract 1 from their leadership characteristic until the next turn.
|-
|}

'''Abilities:'''
*'''You there! I'll be having your head next!''': Badasious is very particular about the heads he takes, and is capable of picking out a single person from a crowd as his target from a mile away.
**This model may assign damage to individual models in a target unit instead of your opponent assigning damage. In addition, this model may target '''CHARACTER'''s even if they're not the closest unit.

*'''BADASS''': Badasious is known for his incredible feats of badassery. So great are his skills, as well so long is his list of successes that even the [[Grey Knights]] would have difficulties in recreating what the Inquisitor is capable of doing.
**This model may choose a warlord trait (if he is your warlord) from the angry marines codex or the Officio Iratus codex. In addition, this model re-rolls all failed hit and wound rolls, and wound rolls of 6+ against '''CHARACTER'''s deal an additional D3 mortal wounds. As a small addition, this model may use all its grenades in the shooting and overwatch phases along with its other ranged weapons.

*'''Nigh-Invulnerable''': Badasious has faced all manners of terrifying, army destroying weapons that would leave nothing standing no matter how durable or powerful they are, and survived to tell the tale. Is it luck, sheer stubbornness, The Emperor's grace, or a combination of all three, Badasious doesn't try to think about it. What really matters is that the enemy failed to kill him and they will pay for failing.
**This model may only be wounded on a 3+ or worse, has a 4++ invulnerability save, ignores damage on a 5+ and all damage dealt to him is halved (rounding up).

*'''Shield of Badasious''': Sometimes Badasious’ raw badassnous is not enough to protect himself. In those situations he calmly puts his pistol away, and pulls out his shield and a thermos of tea, because it’s going to take a god emperor knows amount of firepower to shift him now.
**At the beginning of your turn you may choose for this model to put away its pistol, and instead wield its shield. If so this model may not fire its pistol until your next turn when you must decide again whether or not to use the pistol or shield, but this model increases its invulnerability save to a 3++ and all models targeting this model must subtract one from their hit rolls. In addition, units which successfully charge this model or are successfully charged by this model suffer one mortal wound.

Faction Keywords: Imperium, Angry, Codex - Officio Iratus

Keywords: Infantry, Charecter, Inquisitor Badasious

Badasious

2020-04-20T22:03:23Z

2601:443:47F:3CA0:1958:C7C3:2A2A:98EE: /* Things Inquisitor Badasious has been known to do: */

[[Image:Inquisitor_Badasious(Medium_Size).PNG|400px|thumb|right|Inquisitor Badasious, pulling off his best Big Boss impression.(WIP)]]
Badasious is a Puritan Inquisitor who is known for his being a "Badass" in pretty much anything he attempts.

Badasious is the only one in the Inquisitorial forces that can command the [[Angry Marines]] on what to attack. He proved his Badassiousness, and works out the tactical deployment of the Angry Marines, because they're too angry to do it themselves. When he’s not organising the angry marines or being a general badass he acts as a sort of leader for the [[Codex - Officio Iratus|Officio Iratus]], the very angry (and somewhat rogue) part of the inquisition and ministorium.

Inquisitor Badasious is known to have a hallway that takes 10 minutes to jog down (so somewhere around 2 miles long), lined top to floor with the skulls of his enemies.

== Things Inquisitor Badasious has been known to do: ==

*He can put a Space Marine to shame. (and at one point beat one to death with his boot, this actually happened.)

*There used to be female space marines. Badasious fucked them to extinction. (HERESY!) (BADASSERY!)

*Badasious once got into a fight with an Imperator-class Titan and punched it in the face, shattering it into a million pieces.

*Badasious once got into a fight with a Leman Russ Battle Tank and punched it in the front armour, shattering it into a million pieces.

*Badasious once got into a fight with a [[Baneblade]] and punched it in the front armour, shattering it into a million Leman Russes. This ability has caused the AdMech to lose a lot of bussiness.

*Inquisitor Badasious can impregnate human females just by glaring from across the street. [[Eldar]] women, too. In fact he has so many Half-Eldar kids that every few minutes he's psychically contacted by large numbers of Eldar females who tell him to take care of his kids only for Badasious to make them pregnant all over again.

*Trivia:90% of all Eldar babies born by the 42nd Millennium are related to Badasious. (HERESY!)

*Badasious is so badass, that he can satisfy a [[Sisters of Battle|Sister of Rage]].

*Badasious once tricked a "planet full of assholes" into getting themselves Exterminatus'd. (Actually happened)

*[[Kharn]] wants to be Badasious when he grows up.

*Badasious once looted Ghazghkull's main space hulk, then he peed on his rug.

*Badasious was once cloned while visiting Krieg in an effort to replicate his badassness. His three clone sons now battle over who received his dominant genes (METAL GEAR AWESOME HERESEY!!! TRANC DARTS FOR EVERYONE!!!)

*Inquisitor Badasious requires no Geller field to travel the Warp. He just sits in a glass dome at the top of the ship and stares down the daemons until they piss themselves and slink away.

*Eldar Banshees hone their minds and bodies preparing for Badasious.

*Creed learned everything he knows about strategy from watching Badasious play chess once.

*Slaanesh was once straight, but when he saw Badasious, he went bi (definite heresey, slaanesh is an equal opportunity genital devouer).

*Badasious once got into an arm-wrestling competition with [[Abaddon]]. Abaddon had his arms before that.

*Badasious is so damn badass, this page does not do him justice.

*[[Matt Ward]] wishes his Ultramarines were half as badass as him.

*Badasious once listened to Tzeentch for two hours, and Tzeentch's head exploded.

*Badasious was about to lose a game of rock paper scissors to a daemon prince but pulled of Exterminatus with his fingers and literally mind fucked the daemon prince.

*Sly Marbo sometimes wishes he was Badasious, but then he remembers that he’s sly marbo and therefore superior, badasious thinks the same but opposite thing.

*Badasious used to go to Yarricks, creeds, sly marbos (and now fuklaws) weekly poker night, but was banned after always playing royal flushes, even when he only had one card in hand.

*Badasious can get guys pregnant by just glaring at them.

*Badasious never executes fleeing guardsmen, the guardsmans comrades simply beat the him to death out of fear of what Badasious might do if he has the kill the retreating guardsman himself.

*Badasious once thought about becoming a commissar, the imperial guard rejected his application on the grounds that badasious simply applying for the job resulted in hundreds of guardsmen preemptively commuting suicide out of sheer terror.

*As badasious doesn’t need the astranomicon to navigate he simply uses its light to tune his tv.

*If badasious ever turned to chaos chaos would automatically lose as badasious executed all the heretic guardsmen and space marines out of simple muscle memory.

*Slaanesh is too scared to sleep with badasious, which just makes him/her/it/they want to do it just to see what would happened.
**Last time it happened it created the Big Bang, although both sly Marbo and badasious claim to have done this so we can only assume that it was actually a team effort.

*Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so, unless your badasious in which case time and lunch is a steak sandwich with a side order and chips with spicy sauce.

*Badasious once got into a fight with Leman Russ and punched him in the face, shattering HIM into a million wolf-pieces. (HERESY!)

==The Skulls of his enemies==
Like Sly Marbo, being a badass doesn’t stop you from having enemies, a lot of enemies, such humans on current day earth would have at least tens of thousands of enemies, multiply that out to a galactic scale and the list become very, very long indeed. This doesn’t bother badassious as there’s plenty of room for more skulls in his hallway of skulls, the man collects so many skulls in fact that he is the main reason my beserkers of khorne are still in business, as badasious effectively pushes up the value of an individual skull by removing them from the galaxy and into his collection, making the skulls still left uncollected more valuable. In fact, if a bezerker were to ever get hold of badasious’ skull collection he would immediately devalue the skull and leave every single worshipper of khorne unemployed, instead relying on collecting blood for the blood god, which as everyone knows is no way to earn a living, blood being an infinite resource.

Cranial based economics to one side however, badasious has a lot of skulls, most of whom are nameless foes but their of skulls in his collection which once belonged to mighty enemies, such as:
*The head of the original swarmlord (still with papa smurf chunks in its teeth).
*The head of ward (although that head has been in the possession of most of the factions in the 40k universe)
*The head of every squat (you don’t really think it was the tyranids who killed them did you? How do you think GW retcons stuff?).
*The head of every person executed by guillotine during the French revolution, although they died long before Badasious was born they were enemies of the establishment, and therefore HERETICS! He also finds their period wigs amusing, it's the simple things in life which keep him going.
*An uncounted number of heads belonging to necron lords possessed by Trazyn the Infinite. Badasious has a small plinth half way down his corridor of skulls reserved for Trazyn's head when he finally gets hold of it.
*A head from a greater deamon from each of the [[malal|5]] chaos gods other than the head of a great unclean one because:
**1. They’re entirely capable of functioning without a head, and.
**2. They can regenerate their necks faster than badasious can hack.

== The Purging of Talis ==
Badasious has been seen with tears sneaking down the sides of his chiselled, weathered features. For a moment, he seems less like a living legend, the bogeyman in an organization of bogeymen, and more like a mortal, old beyond his features, and his expression gaunt, not edged, lined not with harshness, but weariness.
One of his Interrogators, who was attending him at the time, reported that he hear Badasious croak a phrase under his breath in awe as the tiny diamonds rolled down his cheeks.
"Such divine beauty."
Inquisitor Badasious then turned and strode quietly from the bridge of his personal battlecruiser, almost at peace, as the corrupt, traitor filled and chaos tainted planet of Talis concluded its molten florescence and subsided into glassy fragments of ash on the viewscreen behind him.

== Badasious Profile ==
===7th edition===
For those who want to field a Inquisitor that costs as much as a Land Raider, yet want a lot of fun with seeing their opponents faces when a single Inquisitor kicks load of heretical and xeno arses.

'''<big>Inquisitor Badasious (425 pts - Lord of War)</big>'''

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! I !! A !! LD !! Sv
|-
| Inquisitor Badasious|| 5 || 5 || 5 || 5 || 4 || 4 || 4 || 10 || 2+/4++/3++
|}

'''Unit Type''': '''Infantry (Character)'''

'''Unit Composition''': '''1 (Unique)'''

'''Warlord Trait''': Inquisitor Badasious can chose two Warlord Traits from Codex Inquisition. He can choose any combination from both the Inquisitorial Warlord Traits and the Ordo specific Warlord Traits. Alternatively he can choose two different Warlord Traits from the Warlord Lists shown in the Warhammer 40000 Rulebook. See the '''BADASS''' SR.

'''Wargear''': War Armor of Badasious, Blade of Badasious, Hand of Badasious, Shield of Badasious, Frag and Krak Grenades.

'''Special Rules''':
* '''Independent Character'''
* '''Psyker (Mastery Level 3)'''
* '''Zealot'''
* '''Rage'''
* '''Rampage'''
* '''Counterattack'''
* '''Relentless'''
* '''Crusader'''
* '''Move Through Cover'''
* '''Feel No Pain'''
* '''It Will Not Die'''
* '''Adamantine Will'''
* '''BADASS'''
* '''Nigh-Invulnerable'''
* '''Lord of Rage'''

Psychic Powers:
Inquisitor Badasious generates powers from the '''Divination''', '''Pyromancy''', '''Biomancy''', '''Telekinesis''', '''Telepathy''' and '''Sanctic Daemonlogy''' disciplines.

Special Rules:
* '''BADASS''': Badasious is known for his incredible feats of badassery. So great are his skills, as well so long is his list of successes that even the [[Grey Knights]] would have difficulties in recreating what the Inquisitor is capable of doing. Inquisitor Badasious deals additional d3 attacks when he's engaged against enemy squads, and all his attacks deal Instant Death on a roll of 6 in Challenges. When fighting models with the Daemon and/or Monstrous/Gargantuan Creature USR, Badasious forces his quarry to re-roll once per-turn successful attacks against him. Badasious is so badass that he can choose any combination of two Warlord Traits from Codex Inquisition (both Inquisitorial Warlord traits and any of the Ordo specific ones). Alternatively he can choose two different Warlord Traits from the Warlord Lists shown in the Warhammer 40000 Rulebook. If Badasious chooses the '''Will of Iron''' or the '''Purity of Mankind''' Warlord Traits, then he gains +1 to his Adamantine Will saves and A respectfully. Badasious can use '''Sanctic Daemonology''' powers normally like any Psychic Discipline presented in the Warhammer 40000 Rulebook.

* '''Nigh-Invulnerable''': Badasious met all manners of terrifying, army destroying weapons that would leave nothing standing no matter how durable or powerful they are, and survived to tell the tale. Is it luck, sheer stubbornness, The Emperor's grace, or a combination of all three, Badasious doesn't try to think about it. What really matters is that the enemy failed to kill him and they will pay for failing. Badasious counts as having the '''Eternal Warrior''' USR, yet additionally when a enemy with a D Strength weapon rolls a 6 on the Destroyer Weapon Attack Table and strikes at him, Badasious suffers instead a single wound.

* '''Lord of Rage''': Badasious can be part of a [[Angry Marines]] detachment instead of an Inquisitorial one. Additionally all Angry Marines in a range of 12" of Badasious can re-roll once per turn any failed WS, BS, or Ld rolls. He takes up a HQ slot on the Force Organization Chart.

Wargear:
*'''War Armor of Badasious''': An armor that was specifically modified by Badasious to fit his needs. Apart of being meticulously crafted by master artificers, the armor incorporates a Rosarius that is powered by Badasious's own indomitable soul. Additionally the shield generated by the Rosarius is even harder to hit by any ranged or melee weapon. Daemons will find it more difficult to fight Badasious as his armor also weakens them greatly when in the vicinity of the Inquisitor. The War Armor of Badasious is a Artificer Armour with a built in Rosarius and grants him a 2+ Save and a 4++ Invulnerable Save. Additionally any enemy model that tries to hit Badasious with their melee or ranged weapons do so with a -1 to WS and BS. Models with the Daemon USR additionally get a -1 to their Inv Saves, S and I when in 6" of Badasious.

*'''Blade of Badasious''': An ancient relic blade of unknown origin, this weapon served Badasious faithfully for many years and cut down many enemies of The Emperor with a terrifying force, mocking their defenses and resilience. Although it's two-handed, only Badasious is physically strong enough to wield it in one hand with ease. The Blade of Badasious is a Relic Blade with the following profile:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! S !! AP !! Type
|-
| Blade of Badasious || - || 3+ || 2 || Melee, Master Crafted, Rending, Armourbane, Fleshbane
|}

*'''Hand of Badasious''': Inquisitor Badasious's personal bolt pistol that served him well since he became an Acolyte. It's actually hard to call it a bolt pistol, as it is too big to be qualified as one. Over the time since his career as an Acolyte, Badasious's pistol underwent a series of modifications and upgrades in order to match up with the hazards its owner needed to deal with. The Hand of Badasious is a Bolt Pistol with the following profile:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! S !! AP !! Type
|-
| Hand of Badasious || 36 || 6 || 3 || Pistol, Master Crafted, Shred, Force, Psy-shock
|}

Once per turn it may be swapped with the '''Shield of Badasious'''. Badasious loses then his ranged attack unless he swaps back. Once swapped, Badasious cannot swap back until the next turn.

*'''Shield of Badasious''': Inquisitor Badasious's personal Storm Shield. Although it is smaller than the more usual Storm Shields, yet still larger than the Combat Shields used by Space Marines, the shield is made out of lighter and more durable materials and incorporates a small yet powerful energy generator. Due to it's size and weight, Badasious can quickly stun his enemies in combat with a precise concussive hit, or put it on his back and draw his bolt pistol. The Shield of Badasious is a Storm Shield that makes Badasious's melee attacks gain the '''Concussive''' USR. Stacks with '''War Armor of Badasious'''.

Once per turn it may be swapped with the '''Hand of Badasious'''. Badasious loses then his 3++ Inv Save and his attacks lose the '''Concussive''' USR unless he swaps back. Once swapped, Badasious cannot swap back until the next turn.

===8th edition===
Inquisitor Badasious is a single model armed with the Blade of Badasious, the Hand of Badasious, the Shield of Badasious, and Frag and Krak Grenades

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! M !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! A !! LD !! Sv !! Points cost
|-
| Inquisitor Badasious || 7” || 2+ || 2+ || 5 || 5 || 7 || 4 || 10 || 2+ || 250
|}

{| class=wikitable cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=centre
|- valign=top
! Weapon !! Range !! Type !! S !! AP !! D !! Abilities
|-
| '''Blade of Badasious''' || Melee || Melee || +2 || -4 || 3 || This weapon always wounds its target on a 3+ or better. Units damaged by this weapon subtract 1 from their leadership characteristic until the next turn.
|-
| '''Hand of Badasious''' || 36" || Pistol 3 || 6 || -3 || D2 || This weapon always wounds its target on a 4+ or better. Units damaged by this weapon subtract 1 from their leadership characteristic until the next turn.
|-
|}

'''Abilities:'''
*'''You there! I'll be having your head next!''': Badasious is very particular about the heads he takes, and is capable of picking out a single person from a crowd as his target from a mile away.
**This model may assign damage to individual models in a target unit instead of your opponent assigning damage. In addition, this model may target '''CHARACTER'''s even if they're not the closest unit.

*'''BADASS''': Badasious is known for his incredible feats of badassery. So great are his skills, as well so long is his list of successes that even the [[Grey Knights]] would have difficulties in recreating what the Inquisitor is capable of doing.
**This model may choose a warlord trait (if he is your warlord) from the angry marines codex or the Officio Iratus codex. In addition, this model re-rolls all failed hit and wound rolls, and wound rolls of 6+ against '''CHARACTER'''s deal an additional D3 mortal wounds. As a small addition, this model may use all its grenades in the shooting and overwatch phases along with its other ranged weapons.

*'''Nigh-Invulnerable''': Badasious has faced all manners of terrifying, army destroying weapons that would leave nothing standing no matter how durable or powerful they are, and survived to tell the tale. Is it luck, sheer stubbornness, The Emperor's grace, or a combination of all three, Badasious doesn't try to think about it. What really matters is that the enemy failed to kill him and they will pay for failing.
**This model may only be wounded on a 3+ or worse, has a 4++ invulnerability save, ignores damage on a 5+ and all damage dealt to him is halved (rounding up).

*'''Shield of Badasious''': Sometimes Badasious’ raw badassnous is not enough to protect himself. In those situations he calmly puts his pistol away, and pulls out his shield and a thermos of tea, because it’s going to take a god emperor knows amount of firepower to shift him now.
**At the beginning of your turn you may choose for this model to put away its pistol, and instead wield its shield. If so this model may not fire its pistol until your next turn when you must decide again whether or not to use the pistol or shield, but this model increases its invulnerability save to a 3++ and all models targeting this model must subtract one from their hit rolls. In addition, units which successfully charge this model or are successfully charged by this model suffer one mortal wound.

Faction Keywords: Imperium, Angry, Codex - Officio Iratus

Keywords: Infantry, Charecter, Inquisitor Badasious

Badasious

2020-04-20T22:03:07Z

2601:443:47F:3CA0:1958:C7C3:2A2A:98EE: /* Things Inquisitor Badasious has been known to do: */

[[Image:Inquisitor_Badasious(Medium_Size).PNG|400px|thumb|right|Inquisitor Badasious, pulling off his best Big Boss impression.(WIP)]]
Badasious is a Puritan Inquisitor who is known for his being a "Badass" in pretty much anything he attempts.

Badasious is the only one in the Inquisitorial forces that can command the [[Angry Marines]] on what to attack. He proved his Badassiousness, and works out the tactical deployment of the Angry Marines, because they're too angry to do it themselves. When he’s not organising the angry marines or being a general badass he acts as a sort of leader for the [[Codex - Officio Iratus|Officio Iratus]], the very angry (and somewhat rogue) part of the inquisition and ministorium.

Inquisitor Badasious is known to have a hallway that takes 10 minutes to jog down (so somewhere around 2 miles long), lined top to floor with the skulls of his enemies.

== Things Inquisitor Badasious has been known to do: ==

*He can put a Space Marine to shame. (and at one point beat one to death with his boot, this actually happened.)

*There used to be female space marines. Badasious fucked them to extinction. (HERESY!) (BADASSERY!)

*Badasious once got into a fight with an Imperator-class Titan and punched it in the face, shattering it into a million pieces.

*Badasious once got into a fight with a Leman Russ Battle Tank and punched it in the front armour, shattering it into a million pieces.

*Badasious once got into a fight with a [[Baneblade]] and punched it in the front armour, shattering it into a million Leman Russes. This ability has caused the AdMech to lose a lot of bussiness.

*Inquisitor Badasious can impregnate human females just by glaring from across the street. [[Eldar]] women, too. In fact he has so many Half-Eldar kids that every few minutes he's psychically contacted by large numbers of Eldar females who tell him to take care of his kids only for Badasious to make them pregnant all over again.

*Trivia:90% of all Eldar babies born by the 42nd Millennium are related to Badasious. (HERESY!)

*Badasious is so badass, that he can satisfy a [[Sisters of Battle|Sister of Rage]].

*Badasious once tricked a "planet full of assholes" into getting themselves Exterminatus'd. (Actually happened)

*[[Kharn]] wants to be Badasious when he grows up.

*Badasious once looted Ghazghkull's main space hulk, then he peed on his rug.

*Badasious was once cloned while visiting Krieg in an effort to replicate his badassness. His three clone sons now battle over who received his dominant genes (METAL GEAR AWESOME HERESEY!!! TRANC DARTS FOR EVERYONE!!!)

*Inquisitor Badasious requires no Geller field to travel the Warp. He just sits in a glass dome at the top of the ship and stares down the daemons until they piss themselves and slink away.

*Eldar Banshees hone their minds and bodies preparing for Badasious.

*Creed learned everything he knows about strategy from watching Badasious play chess once.

*Slaanesh was once straight, but when he saw Badasious, he went bi (definite heresey, slaanesh is an equal opportunity genital devouer).

*Badasious once got into an arm-wrestling competition with [[Abaddon]]. Abaddon had his arms before that.

*Badasious is so damn badass, this page does not do him justice.

*[[Matt Ward]] wishes his Ultramarines were half as badass as him.

*Badasious once listened to Tzeentch for two hours, and Tzeentch's head exploded.

*Badasious was about to lose a game of rock paper scissors to a daemon prince but pulled of Exterminatus with his fingers and literally mind fucked the daemon prince.

*Sly Marbo sometimes wishes he was Badasious, but then he remembers that he’s sly marbo and therefore superior, badasious thinks the same but opposite thing.

*Badasious used to go to Yarricks, creeds, sly marbos (and now fuklaws) weekly poker night, but was banned after always playing royal flushes, even when he only had one card in hand.

*Badasious can get guys pregnant by just glaring at them.

*Badasious never executes fleeing guardsmen, the guardsmans comrades simply beat the him to death out of fear of what Badasious might do if he has the kill the retreating guardsman himself.

*Badasious once thought about becoming a commissar, the imperial guard rejected his application on the grounds that badasious simply applying for the job resulted in hundreds of guardsmen preemptively commuting suicide out of sheer terror.

*As badasious doesn’t need the astranomicon to navigate he simply uses its light to tune his tv.

*If badasious ever turned to chaos chaos would automatically lose as badasious executed all the heretic guardsmen and space marines out of simple muscle memory.

*Slaanesh is too scared to sleep with badasious, which just makes him/her/it/they want to do it just to see what would happened.
**Last time it happened it created the Big Bang, although both sly Marbo and badasious claim to have done this so we can only assume that it was actually a team effort.

*Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so, unless your badasious in which case time and lunch is a steak sandwich with a side order and chips with spicy sauce.

*Badasious once got into a fight with Leman Russ and punched him in the face, shattering HIM into a million wolf-pieces. (HERESY!)

==The Skulls of his enemies==
Like Sly Marbo, being a badass doesn’t stop you from having enemies, a lot of enemies, such humans on current day earth would have at least tens of thousands of enemies, multiply that out to a galactic scale and the list become very, very long indeed. This doesn’t bother badassious as there’s plenty of room for more skulls in his hallway of skulls, the man collects so many skulls in fact that he is the main reason my beserkers of khorne are still in business, as badasious effectively pushes up the value of an individual skull by removing them from the galaxy and into his collection, making the skulls still left uncollected more valuable. In fact, if a bezerker were to ever get hold of badasious’ skull collection he would immediately devalue the skull and leave every single worshipper of khorne unemployed, instead relying on collecting blood for the blood god, which as everyone knows is no way to earn a living, blood being an infinite resource.

Cranial based economics to one side however, badasious has a lot of skulls, most of whom are nameless foes but their of skulls in his collection which once belonged to mighty enemies, such as:
*The head of the original swarmlord (still with papa smurf chunks in its teeth).
*The head of ward (although that head has been in the possession of most of the factions in the 40k universe)
*The head of every squat (you don’t really think it was the tyranids who killed them did you? How do you think GW retcons stuff?).
*The head of every person executed by guillotine during the French revolution, although they died long before Badasious was born they were enemies of the establishment, and therefore HERETICS! He also finds their period wigs amusing, it's the simple things in life which keep him going.
*An uncounted number of heads belonging to necron lords possessed by Trazyn the Infinite. Badasious has a small plinth half way down his corridor of skulls reserved for Trazyn's head when he finally gets hold of it.
*A head from a greater deamon from each of the [[malal|5]] chaos gods other than the head of a great unclean one because:
**1. They’re entirely capable of functioning without a head, and.
**2. They can regenerate their necks faster than badasious can hack.

== The Purging of Talis ==
Badasious has been seen with tears sneaking down the sides of his chiselled, weathered features. For a moment, he seems less like a living legend, the bogeyman in an organization of bogeymen, and more like a mortal, old beyond his features, and his expression gaunt, not edged, lined not with harshness, but weariness.
One of his Interrogators, who was attending him at the time, reported that he hear Badasious croak a phrase under his breath in awe as the tiny diamonds rolled down his cheeks.
"Such divine beauty."
Inquisitor Badasious then turned and strode quietly from the bridge of his personal battlecruiser, almost at peace, as the corrupt, traitor filled and chaos tainted planet of Talis concluded its molten florescence and subsided into glassy fragments of ash on the viewscreen behind him.

== Badasious Profile ==
===7th edition===
For those who want to field a Inquisitor that costs as much as a Land Raider, yet want a lot of fun with seeing their opponents faces when a single Inquisitor kicks load of heretical and xeno arses.

'''<big>Inquisitor Badasious (425 pts - Lord of War)</big>'''

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! I !! A !! LD !! Sv
|-
| Inquisitor Badasious|| 5 || 5 || 5 || 5 || 4 || 4 || 4 || 10 || 2+/4++/3++
|}

'''Unit Type''': '''Infantry (Character)'''

'''Unit Composition''': '''1 (Unique)'''

'''Warlord Trait''': Inquisitor Badasious can chose two Warlord Traits from Codex Inquisition. He can choose any combination from both the Inquisitorial Warlord Traits and the Ordo specific Warlord Traits. Alternatively he can choose two different Warlord Traits from the Warlord Lists shown in the Warhammer 40000 Rulebook. See the '''BADASS''' SR.

'''Wargear''': War Armor of Badasious, Blade of Badasious, Hand of Badasious, Shield of Badasious, Frag and Krak Grenades.

'''Special Rules''':
* '''Independent Character'''
* '''Psyker (Mastery Level 3)'''
* '''Zealot'''
* '''Rage'''
* '''Rampage'''
* '''Counterattack'''
* '''Relentless'''
* '''Crusader'''
* '''Move Through Cover'''
* '''Feel No Pain'''
* '''It Will Not Die'''
* '''Adamantine Will'''
* '''BADASS'''
* '''Nigh-Invulnerable'''
* '''Lord of Rage'''

Psychic Powers:
Inquisitor Badasious generates powers from the '''Divination''', '''Pyromancy''', '''Biomancy''', '''Telekinesis''', '''Telepathy''' and '''Sanctic Daemonlogy''' disciplines.

Special Rules:
* '''BADASS''': Badasious is known for his incredible feats of badassery. So great are his skills, as well so long is his list of successes that even the [[Grey Knights]] would have difficulties in recreating what the Inquisitor is capable of doing. Inquisitor Badasious deals additional d3 attacks when he's engaged against enemy squads, and all his attacks deal Instant Death on a roll of 6 in Challenges. When fighting models with the Daemon and/or Monstrous/Gargantuan Creature USR, Badasious forces his quarry to re-roll once per-turn successful attacks against him. Badasious is so badass that he can choose any combination of two Warlord Traits from Codex Inquisition (both Inquisitorial Warlord traits and any of the Ordo specific ones). Alternatively he can choose two different Warlord Traits from the Warlord Lists shown in the Warhammer 40000 Rulebook. If Badasious chooses the '''Will of Iron''' or the '''Purity of Mankind''' Warlord Traits, then he gains +1 to his Adamantine Will saves and A respectfully. Badasious can use '''Sanctic Daemonology''' powers normally like any Psychic Discipline presented in the Warhammer 40000 Rulebook.

* '''Nigh-Invulnerable''': Badasious met all manners of terrifying, army destroying weapons that would leave nothing standing no matter how durable or powerful they are, and survived to tell the tale. Is it luck, sheer stubbornness, The Emperor's grace, or a combination of all three, Badasious doesn't try to think about it. What really matters is that the enemy failed to kill him and they will pay for failing. Badasious counts as having the '''Eternal Warrior''' USR, yet additionally when a enemy with a D Strength weapon rolls a 6 on the Destroyer Weapon Attack Table and strikes at him, Badasious suffers instead a single wound.

* '''Lord of Rage''': Badasious can be part of a [[Angry Marines]] detachment instead of an Inquisitorial one. Additionally all Angry Marines in a range of 12" of Badasious can re-roll once per turn any failed WS, BS, or Ld rolls. He takes up a HQ slot on the Force Organization Chart.

Wargear:
*'''War Armor of Badasious''': An armor that was specifically modified by Badasious to fit his needs. Apart of being meticulously crafted by master artificers, the armor incorporates a Rosarius that is powered by Badasious's own indomitable soul. Additionally the shield generated by the Rosarius is even harder to hit by any ranged or melee weapon. Daemons will find it more difficult to fight Badasious as his armor also weakens them greatly when in the vicinity of the Inquisitor. The War Armor of Badasious is a Artificer Armour with a built in Rosarius and grants him a 2+ Save and a 4++ Invulnerable Save. Additionally any enemy model that tries to hit Badasious with their melee or ranged weapons do so with a -1 to WS and BS. Models with the Daemon USR additionally get a -1 to their Inv Saves, S and I when in 6" of Badasious.

*'''Blade of Badasious''': An ancient relic blade of unknown origin, this weapon served Badasious faithfully for many years and cut down many enemies of The Emperor with a terrifying force, mocking their defenses and resilience. Although it's two-handed, only Badasious is physically strong enough to wield it in one hand with ease. The Blade of Badasious is a Relic Blade with the following profile:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! S !! AP !! Type
|-
| Blade of Badasious || - || 3+ || 2 || Melee, Master Crafted, Rending, Armourbane, Fleshbane
|}

*'''Hand of Badasious''': Inquisitor Badasious's personal bolt pistol that served him well since he became an Acolyte. It's actually hard to call it a bolt pistol, as it is too big to be qualified as one. Over the time since his career as an Acolyte, Badasious's pistol underwent a series of modifications and upgrades in order to match up with the hazards its owner needed to deal with. The Hand of Badasious is a Bolt Pistol with the following profile:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! S !! AP !! Type
|-
| Hand of Badasious || 36 || 6 || 3 || Pistol, Master Crafted, Shred, Force, Psy-shock
|}

Once per turn it may be swapped with the '''Shield of Badasious'''. Badasious loses then his ranged attack unless he swaps back. Once swapped, Badasious cannot swap back until the next turn.

*'''Shield of Badasious''': Inquisitor Badasious's personal Storm Shield. Although it is smaller than the more usual Storm Shields, yet still larger than the Combat Shields used by Space Marines, the shield is made out of lighter and more durable materials and incorporates a small yet powerful energy generator. Due to it's size and weight, Badasious can quickly stun his enemies in combat with a precise concussive hit, or put it on his back and draw his bolt pistol. The Shield of Badasious is a Storm Shield that makes Badasious's melee attacks gain the '''Concussive''' USR. Stacks with '''War Armor of Badasious'''.

Once per turn it may be swapped with the '''Hand of Badasious'''. Badasious loses then his 3++ Inv Save and his attacks lose the '''Concussive''' USR unless he swaps back. Once swapped, Badasious cannot swap back until the next turn.

===8th edition===
Inquisitor Badasious is a single model armed with the Blade of Badasious, the Hand of Badasious, the Shield of Badasious, and Frag and Krak Grenades

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! M !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! A !! LD !! Sv !! Points cost
|-
| Inquisitor Badasious || 7” || 2+ || 2+ || 5 || 5 || 7 || 4 || 10 || 2+ || 250
|}

{| class=wikitable cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=centre
|- valign=top
! Weapon !! Range !! Type !! S !! AP !! D !! Abilities
|-
| '''Blade of Badasious''' || Melee || Melee || +2 || -4 || 3 || This weapon always wounds its target on a 3+ or better. Units damaged by this weapon subtract 1 from their leadership characteristic until the next turn.
|-
| '''Hand of Badasious''' || 36" || Pistol 3 || 6 || -3 || D2 || This weapon always wounds its target on a 4+ or better. Units damaged by this weapon subtract 1 from their leadership characteristic until the next turn.
|-
|}

'''Abilities:'''
*'''You there! I'll be having your head next!''': Badasious is very particular about the heads he takes, and is capable of picking out a single person from a crowd as his target from a mile away.
**This model may assign damage to individual models in a target unit instead of your opponent assigning damage. In addition, this model may target '''CHARACTER'''s even if they're not the closest unit.

*'''BADASS''': Badasious is known for his incredible feats of badassery. So great are his skills, as well so long is his list of successes that even the [[Grey Knights]] would have difficulties in recreating what the Inquisitor is capable of doing.
**This model may choose a warlord trait (if he is your warlord) from the angry marines codex or the Officio Iratus codex. In addition, this model re-rolls all failed hit and wound rolls, and wound rolls of 6+ against '''CHARACTER'''s deal an additional D3 mortal wounds. As a small addition, this model may use all its grenades in the shooting and overwatch phases along with its other ranged weapons.

*'''Nigh-Invulnerable''': Badasious has faced all manners of terrifying, army destroying weapons that would leave nothing standing no matter how durable or powerful they are, and survived to tell the tale. Is it luck, sheer stubbornness, The Emperor's grace, or a combination of all three, Badasious doesn't try to think about it. What really matters is that the enemy failed to kill him and they will pay for failing.
**This model may only be wounded on a 3+ or worse, has a 4++ invulnerability save, ignores damage on a 5+ and all damage dealt to him is halved (rounding up).

*'''Shield of Badasious''': Sometimes Badasious’ raw badassnous is not enough to protect himself. In those situations he calmly puts his pistol away, and pulls out his shield and a thermos of tea, because it’s going to take a god emperor knows amount of firepower to shift him now.
**At the beginning of your turn you may choose for this model to put away its pistol, and instead wield its shield. If so this model may not fire its pistol until your next turn when you must decide again whether or not to use the pistol or shield, but this model increases its invulnerability save to a 3++ and all models targeting this model must subtract one from their hit rolls. In addition, units which successfully charge this model or are successfully charged by this model suffer one mortal wound.

Faction Keywords: Imperium, Angry, Codex - Officio Iratus

Keywords: Infantry, Charecter, Inquisitor Badasious

Badasious

2020-04-20T22:02:53Z

2601:443:47F:3CA0:1958:C7C3:2A2A:98EE: /* Things Inquisitor Badasious has been known to do: */

[[Image:Inquisitor_Badasious(Medium_Size).PNG|400px|thumb|right|Inquisitor Badasious, pulling off his best Big Boss impression.(WIP)]]
Badasious is a Puritan Inquisitor who is known for his being a "Badass" in pretty much anything he attempts.

Badasious is the only one in the Inquisitorial forces that can command the [[Angry Marines]] on what to attack. He proved his Badassiousness, and works out the tactical deployment of the Angry Marines, because they're too angry to do it themselves. When he’s not organising the angry marines or being a general badass he acts as a sort of leader for the [[Codex - Officio Iratus|Officio Iratus]], the very angry (and somewhat rogue) part of the inquisition and ministorium.

Inquisitor Badasious is known to have a hallway that takes 10 minutes to jog down (so somewhere around 2 miles long), lined top to floor with the skulls of his enemies.

== Things Inquisitor Badasious has been known to do: ==

*He can put a Space Marine to shame. (and at one point beat one to death with his boot, this actually happened.)

*There used to be female space marines. Badasious fucked them to extinction. (HERESY!) (BADASSERY!)

*Badasious once got into a fight with an Imperator-class Titan and punched it in the face, shattering it into a million pieces.

*Badasious once got into a fight with a Leman Russ Battle Tank and punched it in the front armour, shattering it into a million pieces.

*Badasious once got into a fight with a [[Baneblade]] and punched it in the front armour, shattering it into a million Leman Russes. This ability has caused the AdMech to lose a lot of bussiness.

*Inquisitor Badasious can impregnate human females just by glaring from across the street. [[Eldar]] women, too. In fact he has so many Half-Eldar kids that every few minutes he's psychically contacted by large numbers of Eldar females who tell him to take care of his kids only for Badasious to make them pregnant all over again.

*Trivia:90% of all Eldar babies born by the 42nd Millennium are related to Badasious. (HERESY!)

*Badasious is so badass, that he can satisfy a [[Sisters of Battle|Sister of Rage]].

*Badasious once tricked a "planet full of assholes" into getting themselves Exterminatus'd. (Actually happened)

*[[Kharn]] wants to be Badasious when he grows up.

*Badasious once looted Ghazghkull's main space hulk, then he peed on his rug.

*Badasious was once cloned while visiting Krieg in an effort to replicate his badassness. His three clone sons now battle over who received his dominant genes (METAL GEAR AWESOME HERESEY!!! TRANC DARTS FOR EVERYONE!!!)

*Inquisitor Badasious requires no Geller field to travel the Warp. He just sits in a glass dome at the top of the ship and stares down the daemons until they piss themselves and slink away.

*Eldar Banshees hone their minds and bodies preparing for Badasious.

*Creed learned everything he knows about strategy from watching Badasious play chess once.

*Slaanesh was once straight, but when he saw Badasious, he went bi (definite heresey, slaanesh is an equal opportunity genital devouer).

*Badasious once got into an arm-wrestling competition with [[Abaddon]]. Abaddon had his arms before that.

*Badasious is so damn badass, this page does not do him justice.

*[[Matt Ward]] wishes his Ultramarines were half as badass as him.

*Badasious once listened to Tzeentch for two hours, and Tzeentch's head exploded.

*Badasious was about to lose a game of rock paper scissors to a daemon prince but pulled of Exterminatus with his fingers and literally mind fucked the daemon prince.

*Sly Marbo sometimes wishes he was Badasious, but then he remembers that he’s sly marbo and therefore superior, badasious thinks the same but opposite thing.

*Badasious used to go to Yarricks, creeds, sly marbos (and now fuklaws) weekly poker night, but was banned after always playing royal flushes, even when he only had one card in hand.

*Badasious can get guys pregnant by just glaring at them.

*Badasious never executes fleeing guardsmen, the guardsmans comrades simply beat the him to death out of fear of what Badasious might do if he has the kill the retreating guardsman himself.

*Badasious once thought about becoming a commissar, the imperial guard rejected his application on the grounds that badasious simply applying for the job resulted in hundreds of guardsmen preemptively commuting suicide out of sheer terror.

*As badasious doesn’t need the astranomicon to navigate he simply uses its light to tune his tv.

*If badasious ever turned to chaos chaos would automatically lose as badasious executed all the heretic guardsmen and space marines out of simple muscle memory.

*Slaanesh is too scared to sleep with badasious, which just makes him/her/it/they want to do it just to see what would happened.
**Last time it happened it created the Big Bang, although both sly Marbo and badasious claim to have done this so we can only assume that it was actually a team effort.

*Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so, unless your badasious in which case time and lunch is a steak sandwich with a side order and chips with spicy sauce.

*Badasious once got into a fight with Leman Russ and punched him in the face, shattering HIM into a million wolf-pieces. (HERESY!)

==The Skulls of his enemies==
Like Sly Marbo, being a badass doesn’t stop you from having enemies, a lot of enemies, such humans on current day earth would have at least tens of thousands of enemies, multiply that out to a galactic scale and the list become very, very long indeed. This doesn’t bother badassious as there’s plenty of room for more skulls in his hallway of skulls, the man collects so many skulls in fact that he is the main reason my beserkers of khorne are still in business, as badasious effectively pushes up the value of an individual skull by removing them from the galaxy and into his collection, making the skulls still left uncollected more valuable. In fact, if a bezerker were to ever get hold of badasious’ skull collection he would immediately devalue the skull and leave every single worshipper of khorne unemployed, instead relying on collecting blood for the blood god, which as everyone knows is no way to earn a living, blood being an infinite resource.

Cranial based economics to one side however, badasious has a lot of skulls, most of whom are nameless foes but their of skulls in his collection which once belonged to mighty enemies, such as:
*The head of the original swarmlord (still with papa smurf chunks in its teeth).
*The head of ward (although that head has been in the possession of most of the factions in the 40k universe)
*The head of every squat (you don’t really think it was the tyranids who killed them did you? How do you think GW retcons stuff?).
*The head of every person executed by guillotine during the French revolution, although they died long before Badasious was born they were enemies of the establishment, and therefore HERETICS! He also finds their period wigs amusing, it's the simple things in life which keep him going.
*An uncounted number of heads belonging to necron lords possessed by Trazyn the Infinite. Badasious has a small plinth half way down his corridor of skulls reserved for Trazyn's head when he finally gets hold of it.
*A head from a greater deamon from each of the [[malal|5]] chaos gods other than the head of a great unclean one because:
**1. They’re entirely capable of functioning without a head, and.
**2. They can regenerate their necks faster than badasious can hack.

== The Purging of Talis ==
Badasious has been seen with tears sneaking down the sides of his chiselled, weathered features. For a moment, he seems less like a living legend, the bogeyman in an organization of bogeymen, and more like a mortal, old beyond his features, and his expression gaunt, not edged, lined not with harshness, but weariness.
One of his Interrogators, who was attending him at the time, reported that he hear Badasious croak a phrase under his breath in awe as the tiny diamonds rolled down his cheeks.
"Such divine beauty."
Inquisitor Badasious then turned and strode quietly from the bridge of his personal battlecruiser, almost at peace, as the corrupt, traitor filled and chaos tainted planet of Talis concluded its molten florescence and subsided into glassy fragments of ash on the viewscreen behind him.

== Badasious Profile ==
===7th edition===
For those who want to field a Inquisitor that costs as much as a Land Raider, yet want a lot of fun with seeing their opponents faces when a single Inquisitor kicks load of heretical and xeno arses.

'''<big>Inquisitor Badasious (425 pts - Lord of War)</big>'''

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! I !! A !! LD !! Sv
|-
| Inquisitor Badasious|| 5 || 5 || 5 || 5 || 4 || 4 || 4 || 10 || 2+/4++/3++
|}

'''Unit Type''': '''Infantry (Character)'''

'''Unit Composition''': '''1 (Unique)'''

'''Warlord Trait''': Inquisitor Badasious can chose two Warlord Traits from Codex Inquisition. He can choose any combination from both the Inquisitorial Warlord Traits and the Ordo specific Warlord Traits. Alternatively he can choose two different Warlord Traits from the Warlord Lists shown in the Warhammer 40000 Rulebook. See the '''BADASS''' SR.

'''Wargear''': War Armor of Badasious, Blade of Badasious, Hand of Badasious, Shield of Badasious, Frag and Krak Grenades.

'''Special Rules''':
* '''Independent Character'''
* '''Psyker (Mastery Level 3)'''
* '''Zealot'''
* '''Rage'''
* '''Rampage'''
* '''Counterattack'''
* '''Relentless'''
* '''Crusader'''
* '''Move Through Cover'''
* '''Feel No Pain'''
* '''It Will Not Die'''
* '''Adamantine Will'''
* '''BADASS'''
* '''Nigh-Invulnerable'''
* '''Lord of Rage'''

Psychic Powers:
Inquisitor Badasious generates powers from the '''Divination''', '''Pyromancy''', '''Biomancy''', '''Telekinesis''', '''Telepathy''' and '''Sanctic Daemonlogy''' disciplines.

Special Rules:
* '''BADASS''': Badasious is known for his incredible feats of badassery. So great are his skills, as well so long is his list of successes that even the [[Grey Knights]] would have difficulties in recreating what the Inquisitor is capable of doing. Inquisitor Badasious deals additional d3 attacks when he's engaged against enemy squads, and all his attacks deal Instant Death on a roll of 6 in Challenges. When fighting models with the Daemon and/or Monstrous/Gargantuan Creature USR, Badasious forces his quarry to re-roll once per-turn successful attacks against him. Badasious is so badass that he can choose any combination of two Warlord Traits from Codex Inquisition (both Inquisitorial Warlord traits and any of the Ordo specific ones). Alternatively he can choose two different Warlord Traits from the Warlord Lists shown in the Warhammer 40000 Rulebook. If Badasious chooses the '''Will of Iron''' or the '''Purity of Mankind''' Warlord Traits, then he gains +1 to his Adamantine Will saves and A respectfully. Badasious can use '''Sanctic Daemonology''' powers normally like any Psychic Discipline presented in the Warhammer 40000 Rulebook.

* '''Nigh-Invulnerable''': Badasious met all manners of terrifying, army destroying weapons that would leave nothing standing no matter how durable or powerful they are, and survived to tell the tale. Is it luck, sheer stubbornness, The Emperor's grace, or a combination of all three, Badasious doesn't try to think about it. What really matters is that the enemy failed to kill him and they will pay for failing. Badasious counts as having the '''Eternal Warrior''' USR, yet additionally when a enemy with a D Strength weapon rolls a 6 on the Destroyer Weapon Attack Table and strikes at him, Badasious suffers instead a single wound.

* '''Lord of Rage''': Badasious can be part of a [[Angry Marines]] detachment instead of an Inquisitorial one. Additionally all Angry Marines in a range of 12" of Badasious can re-roll once per turn any failed WS, BS, or Ld rolls. He takes up a HQ slot on the Force Organization Chart.

Wargear:
*'''War Armor of Badasious''': An armor that was specifically modified by Badasious to fit his needs. Apart of being meticulously crafted by master artificers, the armor incorporates a Rosarius that is powered by Badasious's own indomitable soul. Additionally the shield generated by the Rosarius is even harder to hit by any ranged or melee weapon. Daemons will find it more difficult to fight Badasious as his armor also weakens them greatly when in the vicinity of the Inquisitor. The War Armor of Badasious is a Artificer Armour with a built in Rosarius and grants him a 2+ Save and a 4++ Invulnerable Save. Additionally any enemy model that tries to hit Badasious with their melee or ranged weapons do so with a -1 to WS and BS. Models with the Daemon USR additionally get a -1 to their Inv Saves, S and I when in 6" of Badasious.

*'''Blade of Badasious''': An ancient relic blade of unknown origin, this weapon served Badasious faithfully for many years and cut down many enemies of The Emperor with a terrifying force, mocking their defenses and resilience. Although it's two-handed, only Badasious is physically strong enough to wield it in one hand with ease. The Blade of Badasious is a Relic Blade with the following profile:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! S !! AP !! Type
|-
| Blade of Badasious || - || 3+ || 2 || Melee, Master Crafted, Rending, Armourbane, Fleshbane
|}

*'''Hand of Badasious''': Inquisitor Badasious's personal bolt pistol that served him well since he became an Acolyte. It's actually hard to call it a bolt pistol, as it is too big to be qualified as one. Over the time since his career as an Acolyte, Badasious's pistol underwent a series of modifications and upgrades in order to match up with the hazards its owner needed to deal with. The Hand of Badasious is a Bolt Pistol with the following profile:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! S !! AP !! Type
|-
| Hand of Badasious || 36 || 6 || 3 || Pistol, Master Crafted, Shred, Force, Psy-shock
|}

Once per turn it may be swapped with the '''Shield of Badasious'''. Badasious loses then his ranged attack unless he swaps back. Once swapped, Badasious cannot swap back until the next turn.

*'''Shield of Badasious''': Inquisitor Badasious's personal Storm Shield. Although it is smaller than the more usual Storm Shields, yet still larger than the Combat Shields used by Space Marines, the shield is made out of lighter and more durable materials and incorporates a small yet powerful energy generator. Due to it's size and weight, Badasious can quickly stun his enemies in combat with a precise concussive hit, or put it on his back and draw his bolt pistol. The Shield of Badasious is a Storm Shield that makes Badasious's melee attacks gain the '''Concussive''' USR. Stacks with '''War Armor of Badasious'''.

Once per turn it may be swapped with the '''Hand of Badasious'''. Badasious loses then his 3++ Inv Save and his attacks lose the '''Concussive''' USR unless he swaps back. Once swapped, Badasious cannot swap back until the next turn.

===8th edition===
Inquisitor Badasious is a single model armed with the Blade of Badasious, the Hand of Badasious, the Shield of Badasious, and Frag and Krak Grenades

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! M !! WS !! BS !! S !! T !! W !! A !! LD !! Sv !! Points cost
|-
| Inquisitor Badasious || 7” || 2+ || 2+ || 5 || 5 || 7 || 4 || 10 || 2+ || 250
|}

{| class=wikitable cellspacing=0 cellpadding=4 align=centre
|- valign=top
! Weapon !! Range !! Type !! S !! AP !! D !! Abilities
|-
| '''Blade of Badasious''' || Melee || Melee || +2 || -4 || 3 || This weapon always wounds its target on a 3+ or better. Units damaged by this weapon subtract 1 from their leadership characteristic until the next turn.
|-
| '''Hand of Badasious''' || 36" || Pistol 3 || 6 || -3 || D2 || This weapon always wounds its target on a 4+ or better. Units damaged by this weapon subtract 1 from their leadership characteristic until the next turn.
|-
|}

'''Abilities:'''
*'''You there! I'll be having your head next!''': Badasious is very particular about the heads he takes, and is capable of picking out a single person from a crowd as his target from a mile away.
**This model may assign damage to individual models in a target unit instead of your opponent assigning damage. In addition, this model may target '''CHARACTER'''s even if they're not the closest unit.

*'''BADASS''': Badasious is known for his incredible feats of badassery. So great are his skills, as well so long is his list of successes that even the [[Grey Knights]] would have difficulties in recreating what the Inquisitor is capable of doing.
**This model may choose a warlord trait (if he is your warlord) from the angry marines codex or the Officio Iratus codex. In addition, this model re-rolls all failed hit and wound rolls, and wound rolls of 6+ against '''CHARACTER'''s deal an additional D3 mortal wounds. As a small addition, this model may use all its grenades in the shooting and overwatch phases along with its other ranged weapons.

*'''Nigh-Invulnerable''': Badasious has faced all manners of terrifying, army destroying weapons that would leave nothing standing no matter how durable or powerful they are, and survived to tell the tale. Is it luck, sheer stubbornness, The Emperor's grace, or a combination of all three, Badasious doesn't try to think about it. What really matters is that the enemy failed to kill him and they will pay for failing.
**This model may only be wounded on a 3+ or worse, has a 4++ invulnerability save, ignores damage on a 5+ and all damage dealt to him is halved (rounding up).

*'''Shield of Badasious''': Sometimes Badasious’ raw badassnous is not enough to protect himself. In those situations he calmly puts his pistol away, and pulls out his shield and a thermos of tea, because it’s going to take a god emperor knows amount of firepower to shift him now.
**At the beginning of your turn you may choose for this model to put away its pistol, and instead wield its shield. If so this model may not fire its pistol until your next turn when you must decide again whether or not to use the pistol or shield, but this model increases its invulnerability save to a 3++ and all models targeting this model must subtract one from their hit rolls. In addition, units which successfully charge this model or are successfully charged by this model suffer one mortal wound.

Faction Keywords: Imperium, Angry, Codex - Officio Iratus

Keywords: Infantry, Charecter, Inquisitor Badasious

Dante

2020-04-20T01:17:56Z

2601:443:47F:3CA0:1958:C7C3:2A2A:98EE: /* Friends, allies, and enemies */

[[File:Dante book cover.jpg|thumb|400px|The man in action]]
{{Topquote|The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.|Robert Frost}}
{{Topquote|Are you only the legend, or are you the truth behind the legend?|Amphiaraus to Hercules}}

'''Luis Dante''' is the [[Chapter Master|Lord Commander ]] of the [[Blood Angels]], and Warden of the [[Warhammer 40,000 8th edition|Imperium Nihilus]], basically second in command to only the [[Roboute Guilliman|Imperial Regent]] himself.

A legendary figure in the 42nd Millennium, Dante has been a Space Marine for over 1600 years, including the last 1200 as Chapter Master. He embodies the [[Noblebright#8chan Anon Explains the Grim/Noble and Dark/Bright Spectrum|Nobledark]] in the [[Grimdark]] of 40k, and has kicked the asses of countless xenos, mutants, heretics and daemons in countless wars upon countless worlds. If it exists, he killed at least one.

==Background==

===Early life===
[[File:Baal.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Where it all begins.]]
Dante's childhood is detailed in the novel ''Dante'' by Guy Haley. According to the book, Dante was born in the Great Salt Waste of Baal Secundus (Baalfora) in approximately 445.M40. His father, Arreas, was a kind but undistinguished member of the Salt clans (Irkuk clan to be specific) that made a living harvesting salt from the chemically contaminated land (they travel in sand roamers, very much like the sandcrawlers of Tatooine). His mother died giving birth to a younger brother when he was seven (452.M40), the baby [[grimdark|naturally]] dying as well.

Dante was the boy's 'Angel' name, equivalent to the traditional Christian baptismal name, whereas Luis was his personal name. Most Baalite clans used their Angel name in day-to-day life, but Dante's people preferred their personal names. So, Luis is generally used in the book for the scenes where Dante is a child.

As Baalfora was a post-apocalyptic hell-hole (think [[Fallout]] with a strong flavour of Mad Max), the Salt clans were malnourished, physically stunted, and suffering from radiation. The Blood Angels did not think highly of them as a source of potential recruits. An in-universe observation is made that the Salt Clans were small and scattered, and so the inference to be drawn is that there was not much fighting to be had to breed a martial culture among them. You can imagine Dante's relative chances of becoming a Space Marine in such conditions. That said, life in the Great Salt Waste was no easy-living. Dante killed his first man when he was ten, helping his people fight off nomads who had attacked their caravan.

===Journey to Angel's Fall===
Dante had grown up hearing the stories of the Blood Angels from his father. When news came that there was to be a trial (456.M40), Dante decided to attempt it. However, his father Arreas tried to discourage him from attempting to join by guilt tripping about abandoning family. Arreas also pointed out that Dante's chances were not good. As a boy of only eleven, Dante would be much smaller and weaker physically than other potential recruits. The ''Warlords of the Dark Millennium'' (WotDM) info book is more explicit in stating that Dante’s growth had been stunted by malnutrition, and his body damaged by exposure to the rad-deserts of Baalfora (but so too the case for everyone else). Regardless, Dante knew the next trials would be a generation away (probably he would be dead then or too old for the gene-seed implantation procedure if he did live that long), and so this was now or never. One night, Dante left home without a farewell to his father, making off for Angel's Fall where the trials were held.

Dante made it, showing bravery and character, but also benefiting from a combination of luck and fate. Dante fucked up at the very beginning, losing his roamer to a type of quick sand due to his own fault. He would have died of thirst while traveling across the sand dunes on foot, if not for the [[Sanguinor]], who appeared and pointed the way to life saving water. Dante subsequently befriended a pair of older aspirants (Florian and Daneill) who did not kill him opportunistically (what are the chances?), as you suspect might or should happen to small boys traveling alone in WH40K. Well, Florian and Daneill did contemplate snuffing Dante there and then, but you can only take [[Grimdark]] so far (plus with Dante's literal guardian angel hanging around, its not like this will get anywhere if they tried).

Thereafter there is a heroic episode in which Dante shows great bravery and resolve, but continuing to benefit from luck. It was the numbers that saw the boys through when attacked by a Fire Scorpion (and it was only a juvenile), but Daneill died when he drank 'thirst water', which [[grimdark|sucks the moisture out of anything it touches]]. The final hurdle is using a winged para-glider to traverse the canyon from the Heavenwall mountains (the 'Angel's Leap', here being where Sanguinius first flew). The potential aspirants were attacked by Blood Eagles, but Dante and Florian were two of the few survivors (both besties by now).

===The trials===
[[File:Blood angel aspirants.jpg|300px|thumb|right|The Blood Angels and their aspirants. Don't worry, you'll be as pretty as us in no time.]]
After receiving a pass for genetic compatibility, and potential (''First Winnowing''), Dante begins the first set of athletic trials, where he fails to distinguish himself. He expects to be failed at this stage (''Second Winnowing''), but makes it through into the second stages, which he also survives without distinction in feats of combat and physical valour. However, it is here that Dante begins to show a flair for leadership, which he uses to help guide his team to victory in the ''Trial of War''. Besides leadership, Dante's biggest strength and ultimate point of character, is his heart and morality. When it came to his final physical test (''Final Choosing''), the High Chaplain of the time pitted him against his best friend Florian, whom he was urged to kill. Although Florian had reluctantly committed himself to the task, Dante pulled a [[Star Wars|Luke Skywalker]] after getting the best of his friend and threw down his staff, telling the Chaplain to stuff it. To which the Chaplain gave him a pass--clearing the most treacherous test of all (Florian obviously failed), one called the [[Horus|Test of Horus]]. The Blood Angels egg on aspirants to shred their inhibitions about personal loyalty by matching them against those who were observed to be have become their friends or close comrades during earlier in the trials. First, the chaplains would urge them to kill comrades for the 'greater good' of serving the Emperor as remorseless killers. If that fails, aspirants are threatened with rejection, or tempted furthermore by promises of power and glory. Everything is a trick, patterned after Horus (aka Satan) tempting Sanguinius (aka Jesus Christ) on the Vengeful Spirit during the Siege of Terra. All true Blood Angels will do as Sanguinius did. [[Awesome|Fucking Brilliant]].

In the ultimate trial, the ''Winnowing of Weariness'', aspirants are made to take a long vigil without falling asleep. However, Dante fell asleep (failing the task), dreaming of his parents. It was the Sanguinor that roused him before the Blood Angels could catch on. Damn, he is a man of destiny [[Mary Sue|or what]].

During the gene-seed implantation (''Blood Change''), Dante drank from the chalice containing the blood of Sanguinius, and then [[Vampire|slumbered in a sarcophagus for a year]]. As was normal, Dante had visions of Sanguinius' life and times. What was unusual was that Dante survived drifting in and out of consciousness, while screaming the names of figures and events from Blood Angels history in great torment. Normally those who suffered like this died while trying to claw their way out, or emerged as monsters in the thralls of the [[Black Rage]]. However, Dante emerged in normal condition, every inch the angel that the gene-seed implantation was supposed to produce. Some Blood Angels believed that it was a sign of greatness. The Black Rage could not be held off forever, but only forestalled. Dante's mastery of his anger inside the sarcophagus basically foreshadowed his future potential to hold off the Black Rage for an absurd length of time (1600 years and counting).

Generally, the novelisation (if you can't tell by now, it is fucking awesome) tries to avoid making Dante a Mary Sue (Haley neatly undercuts the trope in chapter one), but it is clear that he is a man of destiny. So, there is a bit of a revisionism to the earlier fluff about his non-Mary sueishness that readers drew from the WotDM info book. Dante (at this stage) is clearly not the strongest, but he is good enough, and certainly good-hearted enough to be the chosen of whatever force that guides the Sanguinor.

==The Blood Angel==

===Scout to Chapter Master===
[[File:The_Red_Angel.jpg|thumb|400px|right|What he looked like before getting kitted in gold.]]
In the novels and the rest of the fluff, Lord Commander Dante is generally portrayed as a stern but kind fatherly figure to the Blood Angels, who's a good guy and [[Meme|doesn't afraid of anything]]. But before becoming a legend, he was simply Captain Dante, and before that Sergeant Dante, and of course, a battle-brother and a scout at the beginning.

;Scout
As a young Space Marine scout, Dante fought against the Orks in the Ash Wastes of the planet Rora, Eudyminous System (467.M40). It was Dante's 23rd engagement. Turns out that his sergeant, Gallileon, is assessing him for potential as a line officer, and so he gets put on the spot. Dante's tactical plan works, but then he was also at fault for leading the Orks onto his squad in the first place. So, good brain, but not an infallible warrior. The larger campaign is more difficult for the Blood Angels Company, and the Sanguinor himself has to bail them out.

A few years later in 470.M40, Dante fought under Sergeant Basileus on Ereus V, participating in the extermination of the Orreti. However, Dante [[heresy|sympathised with the fate of the pitiful Xenos race]]. Blood Angels indoctrination techniques are quite obviously a [[fail]], or perhaps Dante was too much for them, the [[noblebright|Mr. noblebright]] that he is. On the other hand, Dante and the Blood Angels do end up going all vampire on the Orreti, mercy be damned. Yeah, who would miss these sorry-ass aliens? <s>Ugluk</s> Basileus: looks like meat is back on the menu boys! Of course, this obviously has to be the first step on Dante's route to non-blood sucking enlightenment.

;Battle Brother
Dante has his first encounter (besides an aspirant who came back mad from inside the sarcophagus) with the Black Rage in the hive world of Tobias Halt (518.M40). Battling the Chaos marines of the ''Purge'' warband, Dante's battle-brother Laziel falls to the rage and thinks they are the old legion, relieving the siege of Terra. More problematically for Dante, his fury at his inability to protect the factory workers of Holywell Hive leads to his fall to a bloodlust which culminates in him slaughtering the traitor marines, and then draining the factory workers. After that he swore off the partaking of blood save for sacrimental rituals.

;Sergeant and Captain
Dante rose to become the Captain of the Blood Angels 5th company in 753.M40. He replaced Captain Avernis, who fell during the assault on the Odrius <s>pirate lair</s> freeport in Mas the year before. At that point, Dante had been a sergeant, leading 'Squad Dante'. The Eldar corsair king Hellaineth attempted to engage Dante in [[heresy|some philosophical discussions]], but Dante wisely turned him down. While the port was destroyed, Hellaineth escaped, and not before leaving Dante with some niggling doubts anyway. Damn Space Elves. But no worry, the Sanguinor is there to ensure the emperor's finest remains eternally committed to the good fight.

;Rise to Chapter Master

In the WotDM info book, Dante became the Chapter Master in approximately 900-999.M40. Turns out that Dante was not chosen because he was the best of the Captains, but simply because he was the only surviving line officer after the debilitating Kallius Insurrection that left no more than 200 Blood Angels alive. Some might interpret this as lessening Dante's legend, and indeed the point is raised in the infobook from an in-universe POV. As a legend of M41, there is a retrospective rose-tinted perception of his every deed, and how Dante became a Chapter Master is apparently a matter the Blood Angels care not to discuss. [[Derp|This is stupid]]. It is actually saying something that Dante is the only line officer left after perhaps the most dangerous campaign the Blood Angels had fought in a long time. In WH40K survivors are the winners, and Dante was a survivor. Whoever wrote that bit of fluff did not think it through.

The WotDM is only one version of how Dante became Chapter Master. Another version of his ascent involves the Secoris Disaster, which is similar enough to the Kallius Insurrection, whilst maintaining some key differences. In this, Captain Dante and Captain Kadeus were the only line officers who survived the Secoris Tragedy (996.M40), a disastrous attempt by the entire chapter (under Chapter Master Sangallo) to cleanse the [[Space Hulk]] Sin of Damnation. Only fifty Blood Angels survive. Kadeus would go on to become Chapter Master, and together with Dante, rebuild the chapter. Ultimately, Kadeus would die in the Blood Angels fortress-monastery on Baal, naming Dante as his successor and handing him the Axe Mortalis.

Obviously the dates are off, for the latest fluff has Dante as Chapter Master for over 1000 years. However, due to the Imperium's [[administratum|shitty record keeping]] (acknowledged from a meta POV in WotDM), it is quite possible to <s>correct</s> hedge the dates. Alternatively, Dante has been Chapter Master for less than thousand years, and the whole over a thousand year shtick is Imperium propaganda (possibility acknowledged in WotDM). To be sure, the Secoris tragedy comes from the earlier fluff by James Swallow (see ''Dante: Lord of the Host'') and Gav Thorpe (''Space Hulk''), but not that old. Moreover, the Sin of Damnation (Secoris incident) is mentioned prominently in the Blood Angels 7th ed (2014), whereas the dates for Dante's rule of the chapter is not quite clear from it.

Finally, note that Blood Angels codex like the 5th and 6th ed state that that [[Darnath Lysander|Lysander]] does not recall a time when Dante was not the Chapter Master of the Blood Angels. Since Lysander was lost in the warp in late M40, and reappeared almost a thousand years later in 964.M41 (Codex: Space Marines 5th ed), Dante must have been Chapter Master before the former date. Thus, it is probably the Secoris tragedy that has been retconned, or at least, given less precedence by recent BL writers.

Ultimately, whatever fluff you choose to follow, Dante was a badass. It was to him to lead the Blood Angels Chapter during the Dark Millennium that is M41.

That said, the 8th Edition Blood Angels Codex (most recent on the moment of writing) also reinforces previously mentioned info from 5th and 6th codexes, as [[Darnath Lysander|Captain Lysander]] still doesn't recall times when Blood Angels had the Chapter Master other than Dante, thus making his ascension after Kallius Insurrection more likely one, if not outright makes it canon.

===Lord Commander===
[[File:Vampire Awesomeness Incarnate.png|thumb|400px|right|One of the best ever pieces depicting Dante.]]
There is some fluff in the novels about Dante's personality as a leader. Basically, it can be said that he functions as an executive authority of the Blood Angels, rather than a 'lord' (like a Jedi Master of the High Council rather than the pre-Ruusan Reformation Jedi Lords). However, the title of ''Lord Commander'' is often used in conjunction with ''High Lord'' in the Blood Angels series by James Swallow. Meanwhile, the 7th ed codex and WotDM infobook seems to have shortened the title to just ''Commander'', while including subsidiary titles like ''Master of the Blood Angels'' and ''Lord of the Angelic Hosts''. It is not clear what exactly is the precise wording of the title. Swallow enjoys appending 'Lord' or 'High Lord' to Commander, but it could be just be reflecting the in-universe reverence of the Blood Angels for Dante. In any case, Dante behaves anything but like a 'lord' or 'master'. He is first-among-equals amongst the Blood Angels (or likes to think himself as such). He addresses First Captain [[Karlaen]] as brother, and brooks no ceremony while interacting with [[Mephiston]] and others.

According to the WotDM infobook, Dante has led the Blood Angels to their "most glorious and triumphant millennium since the time of the [[Great Scouring|Scouring]]". Some of his notable personal exploits are mentioned here.

It seems he doesn't sweat the small talk per se, and venerates a warriors honor more than a title. He certainly has many titles, all of which signify that he is indeed a warrior to be venerated above all others, but Dante really places respect above all else. Dante respects even the lowliest guardsmen who lays it all on the line for the defense of humanity, he doesn't ask anything more.

; The Gates of Pandemonium (Undated; M40-M41?)
Dante kicked [[Skarbrand]]'s ass at Pandemonium sometime during M41, casting the creature back into the warp. With Skarbrand’s banishment, the Daemonic armies were overwhelmed by the Blood Angels.

; Skylos (Undated; M40-M41?)
Dante defeated a powerful Chaos chronomancer at Skylos, who had shrouded the whole planet with his dark sorcery. The chronomancer would attempt to use time as a weapon against Dante, even stealing several decades of his life. Unfortunately for the chronomancer, the loss of a few decades is irrelevant to one such as Dante, who [[awesome|hacked him down with the Axe Mortalis]] (detailed in the short story ''Dante: Lord of the Host'').

; Ruden III (Undated; M40-M41?)
Dante's victory over Eldar corsairs on Ruden III is mentioned as one of his legendary deeds in ''Shield of Baal: Exterminatus''.

; Vetrim (Undated; M40-M41?)
Dante's role in the liberation of Vetrim from its Tau overlords and human turncoats is one of the legendary deeds singled out in ''Shield of Baal: Exterminatus''.

; Orana (Undated; M40-41?)
Sometime during M41 Dante personally led the Blood Angels strike force that saved the planet of Orana from an invasion of Chaos Space Marines and Daemons. Orana's capital hive was transformed into a hideous Hellspire, with stone and metal transformed into bloody flesh and bone, and Chaos sorcerers summoning a powerful Daemon lord. When all seemed lost Dante launched himself at the Daemon lord, banishing him back into the warp. With the Daemon's banishment, the Chaos forces were overwhelmed and the planet saved for the Imperium.

; Alchonis Campaign (Undated; M40-M41?)
Not much details about this, but that badass "I have seen all the evil that the galaxy harbours...." quote of Dante was uttered at the start of this campaign, with Dante personally involved (Codex Blood Angels 3rd ed).

; Pyrus Reach (Undated; M40-M41?)
Dante personally led a Blood Angels force during the Pyrus Reach campaign, which is featured in the ''Dark Millenium'' cardgame.
The conflict involved forces of Chaos led by [[Erebus]] and his [[Word Bearers]], and an Ork Waaagh! led by Warboss Garzulk the Faceless from the mighty Goffs clan. Space Elves from a Craftworld are also involved, and as usual, involved in some behind the scenes shenanigans that got the [[Dark Angels]] into the mess as well.

; Canau (Undated; M40-M41?)
Dante led the Blood Angels to liberate the planet of Canau from the Orks. Singled out as one of his most legendary exploits, subject to much mythmaking where he slew so many Orks that even the [[Matt Ward|Dark Lord]] has trouble accepting the numbers cited.

; Ultima Macharia (Undated; M40-M41?)
Dante performed some memorable deed here (Blood Angels 5th ed). No details are given, but possibly something to do with the [[Macharian Heresy]]. Most probably it is mentioned because it is the farthest planet on the western half of the galaxy, providing a nice mirror to Dante's involvement in Jonol (see below), the planet on the edge of the Eastern Fringes of the Segmentum Ultima.

; Jonol (Undated; M40-M41?)
Dante is mentioned as being involved in some bloody victory on this planet. Jonol is the homeworld of the Honoured Sons Space Marine Chapter, on the Eastern Fringes of the Galaxy, and probably the rationale for its prominence in Dante's fluff is to show he has fought across the length and breadth of the Imperium.

; Terion (Early M41)
Dante led the Blood Angels to relieve the world of Terion at the dawn of the 41st Millennium, defeating an alliance of [[Night Lords]] and the Traitor warband known as the Brotherhood of Darkness. In an upbeat ending, the devastated Terion was rebuilt into a paradise, and all that remains of the war’s legacy is a colossal monument to Dante in the capital city. [[Grimdark]]? What grimdark?

; WAAAGH! Big Skorcha (798.M41)
Dante led the Blood Angels in defense of Baal and its moons from WAAAGH! Big Skorcha, which included numerous Orks from three entire Space Hulks.

; Battle of Stonehaven (901.M41)
Dante led the drop assault that broke WAAAGH! Bludcrumpa's decade-long siege of the Forge World Ironhelm.

; Kalagazaar (911.M41)
When Grey Knight prognosticars predicted [[Ka'bandha]] return to the mortal world, the Grey Knights revealed themselves to the Blood Angels, bringing the news to Dante and proposing a joint strike. The Blood Angels and Grey Knights then attacked Ka'Bandha at his fortress on the Daemon world Kalagazar, banishing him and his Daemonic legions and then subjecting the planet to exterminatus. At the end of the mission the surviving Blood Angels have their memories wiped, with Dante having agreed to that at the mission's start. The fluff does not make it clear if Dante himself actually participated in the mission, but it seems much more probable that he did than not (7th ed rulebook).

; Second War for Armageddon (941.M41)
Dante's reputation led Chapter Masters [[Tu'Shan]] of the [[Salamanders]] and [[Marneus Calgar]] of the [[Ultramarines]] to acknowledge his overall command of imperial forces in [[Armageddon]].

At the walls of Tartarus Hive, Dante and Tu'Shan would famously fight side by side against [[Ghazghkull Thraka]] and his bodyguard, winning the day for the Imperium. A generation later, Dante's name is still spoken with reverence in Armageddon, and one of the Armageddon system's deep space monitoring installations was named in his honour.

; Malogrim (Undated; 941-999.M41?)
Sometime during M41 Dante personally led the Blood Angels as they defended the planet of Malogrim from a three-way invasion involving Orks, Dark Eldar, and Chaos Space Marines of the [[Emperor's Children]]. The Orks were led personally by [[Ghazghkull Thraka]], and the Dark Eldar spearheaded by [[Lelith Hesperax]] and her Wych Cult of Strife.

This conflict is undated, but the appearance of Ghazghkull gives a date shortly before 941.M40, or sometime afterwards. Of course, there is no hard and fast canon, and this is from a card game the ''Siege of Malogrim Hive''. Possibly there was never a date indicated, just like what developers claimed for [[Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine]].

;The Gehenna Campaign (955.M41)
Dante and the Blood Angels 3rd Company battled against the Necron Legions of the [[Silent King]] on Gehenna, his leadership allowing the company to fight the enemy to a stalemate for three standard weeks. When a Tyranid splinter fleet enters orbit, the Blood Angels and the Necrons ally to fight the common foe successfully. However, it turns out that the Necrons were using the Blood Angels, letting them bore the brunt of the fighting (hmmm, perhaps Dante would have done well to internalise the lessons about Xenos perfidy). The Necrons fled before the Blood Angels recognised the treachery, but Blood Angels propaganda made it out that Dante let them leave in gratitude for their 'contributions' to the defense. Heh, perhaps not only his exploits, but also virtues and nobility are exaggerated. Just kidding, we know Dante is the man despite the frankly silly fluff.

; The Blackfang Crusade (994.M41)
Dante mobilised the whole Blood Angels chapter, leading them to drive the Orks from their empire (twelve worlds) in the Blackfang system, and also its two neighbouring systems. [[Awesome|All in a single standard year]].

; The Third Tyrannic War (997.M41-early.M42)
[[File:Dante-vs-Hive-Tyrant.png|300px|thumb|right|Dante taking on a hive tyrant]]
Hive Fleet Leviathan, the largest Tyranid force ever to invade the Galaxy, is eventually defeated at Baal. Dante and the Blood Angels play an important role, contributing decisively in the Cryptus Campaign and the defense of Baal (and its moons) itself. Responding to Dante's call-to-arms, every 2nd founding chapter of the Blood Angels and later descendants (save the [[Lamenters]]) assembled at Baal. During the fighting, Baal Primus (Baalind) and Baal Secundus (Baalfora) were both destroyed, but the arrival of a relief force led by Guilliman allowed the Blood Angels to claim victory on Baal (8th ed). Dante is alive when Guilliman arrives, but the specifics of the battle and his ultimate survival won't be clear until Haley's ''Devastation of Baal'' releases in November 2017. Spoilers for Devestation of Baal: As the destruction of Baal came to a close, Dante and a mere 2000 marines from various chapters found themselves in a last-stand scenario. With the Arx Angelicum's defenses destroyed and no hope for victory left, each and every marine present inducted themselves into the Death Conpany using ash, soot, and blood in place of paint to darken their armor. Dante gives one final speech to the assembled marines before they began their suicide charge. In the process of pushing towards the Swarmlord as their final hope of victory, Dante willingly succumbs to the Red Thirst and very nearly falls to the Black Rage, telling himself that he'll see the Swarmlord dead before he gives in completely. As he and his forces pushed forward and were thinned out by the swarm, the Sanguinor and Legion of the Damned showed up and assisted Dante in reaching the Swarmlord. In the ensuing duel, Dante found that for all his might and experience, it was nothing compared to the might of the Swarmlord. In their duel, Dante attempted to weave around the Swarmlord to get swings in with the Axe Mortalis or shots with his perdition pistol, but barely drew any blood. As his jump pack ran out of fuel, the Swarmlord took advantage and very nearly killed Dante then and there, but Dante abandoned his backpack all together. However, this had the unfortunate side effect of his armor no longer having a power source and it rapidly began shutting down. Dante made one final charge, parrying and shattering one of the Swarmlord's bone swords, however, the momentum of the sword continued through the blow and impaled Dante through one of his hearts. Before the Swarmlord could cleave Dante in two, his armor's sealing foam melded it to the bone sword and caught the Swarmlord unawares. Using this momentary hesitation, Dante aimed his perdition pistol at the Swarmlord's face and held the trigger. As he melted the Swarmlord into hot Tyranid goop, the Swarmlord severed the arm that was impaled through Dante. As he fell, he blanked out because of the pain, but awoke to the sight of the Swarmlord keeling over and dying, but not before it got one hateful glare in with one of its eyes. It is here that Dante finally succumbs to his wounds, but not before wondering who the golden warrior that Sanguinius saw dying before the Emperor was. He awoke to the sight of the Sanguinor who heralded Sanguinius himself. Sanguinius called Dante the greatest of his sons and said that Dante had earned his right to rest beside him for all time. Dante begged for eternal rest, but Sanguinius told him that he had one final duty to do, and poured strength into Dante, reviving him.

===Dark Imperium===
Dante lives to see the Blood Angels and the Imperium win against the Tyrannids on Baal. He meets with Guilliman afterwards, who names him Warden of Imperium Nihilus, the supreme commander of Imperial forces north of the Cicatrix Maledictum. Guilliman basically orders Dante not to kneel before him and says that he, above all else, earned the right to stand up with him.

==Appearance==
[[File:Dante Bloodquest.jpg|thumb|200px|left|He looks like this, but much older and with white hair]]
[[File:Dante Wargear.jpg|thumb|400px|right|Cool guys like Dante always get cool stuff.]]

Dante's eyes are described as pale amber, while his once golden hair has long since turned white (WotDM and the novelisation ''Dante''). In the ''Blood Quest'' comic series, his hair is long, going down to his chest à la Thranduil/Lucius Malfoy. [[Pretty Marines|Bishounen]] much?

Dante is so old that his age shows; his face is deeply wrinkled, and incredibly for a Space Marine, there are tell-tale signs of physical aging like loosening skin folds and loss of muscle definition. How old you ask? Apparently, the skins of ancient marines became thick and seamed with shallow wrinkles akin to cracks in leather. Aaand Dante has gone even further beyond that. His wrinkles at one point were so deep that they sharpened his "fine bone" face to "the point of brittleness", while the eyes suck into their sockets. Mainly the reason why Dante never shows his face in public; seeing him uncovered would shatter the mystique of the immortal golden hero. Okay, so not that Bishounen. Think Jedi Master Cin Drallig, with a flavour of Grand Moff Tarkin.

In the novel ''Deus Encarmine'', Dante is described as having a 'hawkish countenance', including an aquiline jaw and nose. It is said he had the "aspect of a predator at rest". So, one can imagine a patrician face, which looks like a snarling Elrond when enraged. Aaand the fangs. Don't forget that Blood Angels like Dante have long fangs which grow as far to prickle the lower lip.

Dante swore off living blood after a nasty vampire incident. Towards the end of the novelisation, Dante drinks blood after fifteen hundred hundreds years, which somewhat reverses his physical aging. Still old, but the blood gives him strength and youth (well, he is a [[Indrick Boreale|spehss]] vampire after all). Dante had previously taken sacramental blood, which seems to be a big thing in ceremonies etc. There is no reason why this should not have restored his youth, and indeed, Dante describes it as "borrowed life" as well. Perhaps there is something in the Blood Angels gene that allows them to draw strength from 'living' blood particularly.

Note that in the novelisation Dante brings up the in-universe speculations about the 'functional immortality' of Space Marines. He thinks that marines had rarely survived long enough to test the theory, but seeing himself after sixteen hundred years he doubts it is true. He is old, and wonders how many years he had left in him. Then again, his severely aged appearance could come from not drinking enough living blood.

;Voice
Dante has a deep, badass baritone voice in the ''Warhammer 40,000: Armageddon'' video game. However, the ''Bloodquest: Prisoner of the Eye of Terror'' audiobook portrays him as having a sophisticated RP - ancient, wise and fatherly. The different setting of these stories (warrior in a wargame vs background role as ancient authority figure) could explain the choice of voice.

==The Man, the Myth, the Legend==
[[File:Tearing wires.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Someone made up a drawing of Dante fucking up a motherfucking Titan. The Imperium approves.]]
{{topquote|You are the greatest hero of the Imperium! Who can claim to have lived so long or achieved so much?|Dante's equerry <s>Alfred</s> Arafeo}}
{{topquote|I have seen all the evil that the galaxy harbours, and I have slain all whose presence defiles the Emperor.|Dante to the Blood Angels}}
{{topquote|My son, my greatest son.|Sanguinius to Dante}}
{{topquote|My historitors have struggled to create a concise history of your life.|Roboute Guilliman to Dante}}

Fluffwise, the WotDM for Dante seems to push for a trinity of 'big three' Space Marine Commanders of M41, including [[Logan Grimnar]], [[Marneus Calgar]], and Dante himself. The fluff goes on to present Grimnar as the most beloved figure in a folk hero sort of way, while Calgar turns out to be a four-star badass that is most respected in his capacity as a Chapter Master. In comparison, Dante is presented as a distant hero figure to the people of the Imperium, an immortal golden warrior whose deeds have become indistinguishable from legend.
In fact, even the Space Marines are in awe of Dante. [[Tu'Shan]], Chapter Master of the [[Salamanders]], and his Firedrake elite, kneel to greet Dante in ''The Burden of Angels''. Aaaand do not forget the ''The Diadem of Dante'', a Golden Iron Halo forged in honour of Dante as a great hero of the Imperium, but now proudly paraded by the [[Blood Ravens|Magpies]]. It is said that all those wearing it hope that some of Dante's might would rub off on them.

The WotDM outlines the in-universe myths and legends surrounding Dante. He is basically to the Imperium what Calgar is to the [[Matt Ward|Dark Lord]]. According to the Imperium, he is the oldest Space Marine alive, whereas that distinction actually belongs to the Blood Angels Veteran Sergeant Cleutin. Who cares about sergeants, eh? (but note the Cleutin fluff was 2nd ed, maybe retconned). Much is also made of the fact that Dante has basically got more shit done than several entire chapters founded in M41. AND the WotDM goes on to state this is not enough for the Imperium, they go full ham in which legend is intertwined with truth à la 'if-it-didn't-happen-it-should-have-happened" myth-making. Funnily enough, the [[Matt Ward|Dark Lord]] is very meta about Dante's legend in the Blood Angels 5th ed. It is noted that Dante has lived so long that "his exploits have passed into myth". Thus, it is now "now impossible to say" how many Ork he slew single-handedly during Liberation of Canau, and that the "tally grows greater each time the story is recounted". The Dark Lord also questions if Dante "truly" defeated Skarbrand before the Gates of Pandemonium?, and if it was "indeed a single mighty blow that
clove the Daemon in twain"? Finally, it is noted that only Dante himself could reveal whether there is truth to these stories, and how much is just Imperial legend and propaganda that Dante tolerates for the sake of providing a hero. The Dark Lord's own view is quite apparent since it is claimed that the "exaggerated nature of such tales must rankle" Dante. There is some truth to this, for it turns out that the Grey Knights needed to team up with Dante and the Blood Angels to defeat [[Ka'bandha]] on Kalagazaar in 911.M41. While Haley would also take this stance in the novelisation, you have to wonder if the [[Matt Ward|Dark Lord]] was truly writing clever meta, or he was just taking the shine off the major threat to his beloved [[Marneus Calgar|spiritual liege]].

Note that Dante's legend is not just the result of deliberate Imperium propaganda. The Imperium is a decentralised empire of a million worlds, and Dante's legend has been distorted by time and flawed retellings across the galaxy. The WotDM goes on to offer Dante's possible reaction to his legend. One view is that Dante lets his legend grow because he knows mankind needs heroes in the Dark Millenium. Another is that Dante has better things to do than pay heed to the words of mortal men and women.

The novelisation ''Dante'' basically states outright that Dante has tolerated the embellishment of his legend to provide humanity with a hero. In the words of Dante himself "I allow my legend to grow beyond all measure of truthfulness. I allow men to think me infallible and potent beyond my means. I embrace it gladly for the service it gives mankind".

Dante himself remains grounded, and tired of the hero worship. He thinks he is no saint and that he has had to pretend to be something he is not. In his words, "...although I am mighty and wise, and of the Adeptus Astartes, I am just a man. Under my armour beats a human heart alongside the one gifted me by the Emperor". [[Awesome|Daaaamnn]].

==The Sanguinor==
[[File:Sanguinoranddante.jpg|thumb|500px|right|Dante and the Sanguinor.]]
Dante has a special relationship with the Sanguinor, who has come to him several times in aid.
*The first time to save Dante when he was dying of thirst while trekking to Angel's Fall for the Blood Angels trial.
*The second time to aid Dante during the trials by stopping him from falling asleep.
* The third time Sanguinor appeared to save a young Dante's company from the Orks on Rora.
* The fourth time the Sanguinor appeared to pull Dante from the depths of the Red Thirst on Tobias Halt.
* The fifth time to dispel Dante's doubts about the shitty human experience in the Imperium, just before he became Captain of the 5th company.
* The sixth time was shortly after Chapter Master Dante sacrificed the world of Aeros during the Cryptus Campaign to delay the Tyrannids from reaching Baal and with the Sanguinor answering Dante's question that there is still hope in saving their homeworld.
* The seventh time was when Dante was dying and the Sanguinor heralding Sanguinius before Dante is healed.

And...counting. Since becoming Chapter Master, Dante has seen Sangunior many a times. On the first occasion Dante had been praying to the Emperor to save him, and on the fifth occasion Dante had been invoking Sanguinius for guidance. This is interesting as the Blood Angels like Dante don't believe the Emperor and Sanguinius to be gods. Who is the Sanguinor and why does he help Dante? The Blood Angels do not consider him divine, but a mysterious entity which helps them in times of great peril. However, Dante was not yet a Space Marine when the Sanguinor first appeared to help him. So, the Sanguinor is some sort of Baalite entity, one who does not restrict himself to helping the Blood Angels (or because Sanguinius had the gift of Forsight and the Sanguinor is connected to/an aspect of Sanguinius "they" knew that Dante was going to be chapter master).

Dante himself believes the Sanguinor to be a pure entity, and replied as such to an inquisitor who challenged the Blood Angels over the being's true nature. Interestingly, Dante feels close to Sanguinius during the Sanguinor's presence, almost as if "Sanguinius himself were there". Hmmmmm.

Update: The ''Devastation of Baal'' all but states Aratron still serves as the Herald for Sanguinius. Even in spirit form.

==More fluff==
[[File:SoB Ex Dante.png|thumb|400px|[[Ultramarines|Most Chapters]] [[Space Wolves|can only wish their Liege was this]] [[Emperor's Children|fabulous]].]]
===Dante and the Imperium===
{{topquote|All my life I have striven to serve not only the Imperium, but humanity.|Dante}}

In the novelisation, Dante is portrayed as being aware of the grim conditions of humans under the Imperium. Unlike most Imperial commanders, he is not okay with throwing away the lives of Imperial Guardsmen (for whom he has the highest respect), or any other soldier of the Imperium. In the short story, ''The Word of the Silent King'', Dante allies with the Necrons to defend Gehenna from the Tyrannids. Captain [[Erasmus Tycho|Tycho]] pointed out that chapters had been declared excommunicate traitoris for less, but Dante was prepared to risk it for the people of Gehenna. Admittedly, Dante does have a backup plan to assassinate the Silent King afterward, but he foregoes a much better opportunity in the first place to help defend the people.

Dante's views on the impotent administration of the Imperium are....well. The relevant quote from the novelisation is revealing, "I have fought every foe that mankind must face, from the overt aggression of the orks to the grindings of unthinking bureaucracy". Yeah, Dante just included the lovely chaps at the [[Administratum]] among all the vile enemies of mankind he had slain over the last 1600 years.

Dante also wonders, if Sanguinius was a hero, why did he leave the moons of Baal as wastelands, when he could have easily restored them. He questions if an 'Angel' would leave his people to suffer so that their strife-hardened children might make for good warriors. Ultimately, Dante answers his own question, "it was the way it was, because it had to be that way". [[Grimdark]].

===Dante on the Xenos===
[[File:Dante VS Avatar.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Fighting the xenos. Dante taking on a freaking [[Khaine|Avatar of Khaine]] like a boss.]]
The novel Dante reveals his views on the [[xenos]]. Dante thinks that he had been (rightfully) taught to mistrust xenos races, but that he never truly hated them. He proves sympathetic to the Orreti, a dying xenos race pitifully eking out a living by scavenging on dead worlds (think the gypsy). Unfortunately for the Orreti, dead Imperial worlds are still Imperial, and the Blood Angels exterminate them after they are thought to be responsible for the destruction of a colony world. [[Grimdark]]. Actually, exterminate wouldn't describe it. The Blood Angels went all vampire on the Orreti, and even 1500 years later, Dante remembers the incident with great regret.

Dante only truly hates the [[Tyranids]], and that is so because they seek to [[Necron|extinguish life]] [[What|itself]]. In a display of [[noblebright]], Dante believes "[[heresy|non-humans strove only to survive as mankind strove]]". It could be argued that he's wrong, since the predominants aliens in 40k being shitheaded asshole space monsters is one of the reasons of mankind's struggles. Aliens like the [[Dark Eldar|Drukhari]], [[Orks]] and [[Necrons]] are solely led at bay because the Imperium counter-attacks instead of bending over. But it could be argued that he's right, as xenos are in no way allies and they must also strove to survive each others. Either way, expect to see words like nobility, honour, mercy, and virtue in such scenes, but also perfidy, treachery, and atrocities. Dante would certainly be considered a heretic by many in the Imperium, but [[Roboute Guilliman#41st millennium / Gathering Storm|recent events]] might lead one to think otherwise.

Of course, Dante is no idealist opposed to human supremacy (he is a space marine after all). He desperately contemplates an alliance of races, but only for the great war against the Tyranids. However, Dante concedes that he not could not envisage true unity among humans, let alone between the different races.

In conclusion, there are some elements which might make Dante seem to be a Mary Sue for WH40K. Oh, who are we kidding. He would be right at home in [[Star Trek]].

===Dante and the Imperial Cult===
[[File:Dante WH40K Armageddon.png|300px|left|thumb|Dante wearing the death mask of Sanguinius.]]
{{topquote|On this day, as on every other, I ask you grant me wisdom and strength, great Sanguinius, so I may guide our Chapter to ever greater glory.|Dante praying to Sanguinius}}

The Blood Angels generally keep to the [[Imperial Truth]], but venerate the Emperor and Sangunius as ancestral figures. However, it is not a stone-cold atheism that is shown by chapters like the [[Excoriators]]. There is a lot of room for doubt, and Dante at times finds himself agreeing with the [[Ecclesiarchy]] about the Emperor and Sanguinius (well, duh, the baroque Catholic vampires in spehss thing won't work otherwise).

Dante prays daily to Sanguinius in ''Deus Encarmine'', albeit cynically noting in the novelisation ''Dante'' that Sangunius had never actually answered his prayers. Hmm, it would seem that Dante and the Blood Angels are yet to to identify why it is that the Sanguinor keeps bailing them out time and again. In the ''Gathering Storm'', it is confirmed that heroes like [[Saint Celestine]] and the [[Legion of the Damned]] are warp entities that the Emperor himself sends forth to save the day. While there is no confirmation, it is very strongly implied in the novelisation that the Sanguinor is indeed some sort of Blood Angels warp manifestation, and to be associated with Sanguinius in some fashion (the [[Inquisition]] likes to [[Chaos|think otherwise]]). When Dante has a moment of doubt, he prays to Sanguinius for reassurance, but doubts if the prayer will be answered. Not so co-incidentally, the Sanguinor appears at that precise moment and tells Dante there is hope for the Imperium.

James Swallow has also played on the atheist/religious angle in ''The Sanguinor: the Exemplar of the Host''. In the story, The Blood Angels veteran sergeant Ganon is a cynic and very atheistic, whereas others in his squad are more spiritual. In comparison, Blood Angels like Dante fall on the agnostic spectrum, and whether the Emperor (and Sanguinius) are divine or not depends on what exactly is a god in WH40k. The one thing that is clear is that there are 'higher powers' at work that help out the Blood Angels in their time of need.

;The Ecclesiarchy and Dante
[[File:Lord muthaflubbin dante by mrrumbles-d6mqupm.jpg|200px|right|thumb|pictured: too old for this shit.]]
A lot of people in the Imperium venerate the Space Marines as the Emperor's Angels, and the Blood Angels are at the very top when it comes to being revered (well, at least until Roboute-living-god-Guilliman showed up again). The Sanguinala is a Christmas/Easter like festival in honour of Sanguinius (aka spehss Jesus), and on that day the people of the Imperium wear the livery of the Blood Angels. You should not therefore be surprised to see the veneration even extending to the greatest warriors of the Blood Angels, including Dante. In the novelisation ''Mephiston: Blood of Sanguinius'', fanatical pilgrims and priests even travel to Baal to worship [[Mephiston]]. It is not clear how common it is, but evidently this is not considered [[heresy]] (note that the pilgrims were led by priests who needed Mephiston's superpowers to bail their planet out, and so this is possibly an one-off display of sycophancy). On the other hand, ''The Carrion Throne'' reveals that the 9 loyalist Primarchs are extolled as the archangels of the Emperor, created to battle the 9 "great devils" of Chaos. The word Primarch itself seems to have come to denote the greatest of angels. So, simply by virtue of descent the Space Marines (especially the greatest heroes) can be expected to be treated with a high degree of reverence, being lesser angels.

In the novelisation, [[Sisters of Battle|Sister]] Amity Hope of the [[Sisters of Battle|Order of the Sacred Rose]] tells Dante and the Blood Angels that they are the "sons" of the Emperor's most "holy offspring" Sanguinius, whose soul is guided by the Emperor, and works through them. Interesting. The Order of the Sacred Rose appears in the [[Dawn of War]] series and are rather antagonistic to the [[Blood Ravens]]. So, it seems that the Blood Angels find a place in the Imperial cult and are exempt from the contempt shown by some sisters to other chapters. Then again: dawn of war could be an exception to this rule given it's relative distance to the main 40k canon.

The GW website states this about Dante: "Amongst mortal men he is nothing less than a saviour, a golden god who descends from the heavens on wings of fire to smite his foes in deadly close combat". There is also a bit in the Blood Angels 7th ed about him being a "golden god" to the "common soldiers" of the Imperium.

===The Red Thirst===
[[File:Drink Dante.png|thumb|200px|right|Time for the drinks]]
{{topquote|He was an angel, not a monster.|Dante on why he refused to take living blood}}

Despite suffering from the [[Red Thirst]] like all Blood Angels, Dante refused to drink living blood for the longest time. There is a discrepancy in the novelisation about when he took the decision. On the one hand, Dante thinks at one point that he had not drank living blood since the incident on Ereus V, whereas the decision is shown as being taken after he lapses to the thirst at Tobias Halt. In any case, Dante consequently suffered from a constant hunger for blood, compared to an appetite "gnawing at his stomach and soul" and a "hunger that filled his dreams with the bright lustre of blood".

In one council scene, Dante is shown as counting blood drop rubies in a bowl, evidently said to help in meditation. While it is not explicitly stated that it is to ward off the thirst, the immediate context for the scene is his decision not to drink wine spiced with 'dead' blood, and so one can interpret it as an attempt to distract himself from the temptation. Note that Dante did occasionally drink wine spiced with blood. It is just that by that point in the book even the tiniest dollops of dead blood could drive him to almost intolerable temptations. He eventually drinks living blood at the end of the book, rejuvenating him to some extent.

===Codex Astartes/Codex Imperialis===
In ''Deus Encarmine'', the Blood Angel battle-brother Koris voices Dante's wisdom that a "Blood Angel who does not strive to question is no better than a mindless servitor". It can thus be argued that Dante is not an orthodox follower of the [[Codex Astartes]], or at least not in the manner many other chapters chose to interpret it. Note that this also depends on if you see the Codex as being an in-universe inflexible bible (see the page), and that bit might just be an innocuous line that has nothing to do with the codex otherwise. In fact, the context for the line in the book itself is about faith and belief. However, it would be still possible that Dante's wisdom encapsulates the codex. Finally, note that the Blood Angels 7th ed says that they adhere as closely to the Codex Astartes as possible, albeit with few important variations.

Interestingly, there is a scene in the novelisation ''Dante'' in which Dante reminisces about the glory days of the old legions, set in the context of the rising tide of enemies facing the Imperium. So, Dante seems to be one who would possibly not be adverse to the concentration of Space Marines in one single force, and indeed he calls all the Blood Angels descendants to Baal for the war against the Tyranids. His logic is that only the full strength of the Blood Angels and successors in one single point of action can hope to succeed.

''Devastation of Baal'' points to him being in favour of Guilliman's reforms.

===Friends, allies, and enemies===
[[File:BA's.jpg|thumb|left|300px|Tyranids vs Blood Angels, or how Dante sees the End Times]]
During the Second War for Armageddon, Dante became bros with the Chapter Master of the [[Salamanders]], [[Tu'Shan]]. He praised Tu’shan for his contributions, which the Salamanders take as a 'supreme gesture' (8th ed codex Space Marines). To commemorate their past victories and the bond between them, the Blood Angels and Salamanders meet every now and then to exchange counsel, trophies of war, and vows of friendship (''The Burden of Angels'' by Nick Kyme).

The Blood Angels-Salamanders bond is remarkably strong. On one occasion to celebrate the anniversary of their alliance on Armageddon, the Salamanders led by Tu’shan arrived on Hecatomb, a planet claimed by the Blood Angels. On this planet, long ago, Dante had vanquished the Chaos champion Raegus Malifact. While exchanging ritual vows, the Blood Angels librarian Abathor became possessed by the shattered blade of Raegus, which had contained some of his essence. Waves of Daemons spilled forth, and while the warpspawn and Raegus/Abathor were beaten back, the event triggered the Red Thirst in Dante and the Blood Angels. They fought. Dante vs Tu’shan. Blood Angels vs Salamanders. Before they became dinner, the Salamanders and Tu’shan were able to calm down Dante and the Blood Angels by appealing to their humanity. Despite the unsavoury incident, the Salamanders pledged to be as strong as friends as ever.

The Blood Angels under Dante also have the dubious distinction of becoming 'allies' with the Necrons, fighting together on Gehenna against the [[Tyranids]]. Dante has the supremely dubious honour of shaking hands with the Silent King himself, mono e mono. To be fair, the Blood Angels did fight the Necrons at the start, and it turned out that the [[Silent King]] had made an accord with Sanguinius 10,000 years before. So, this was just a (temporary) renewal of an ancient alliance. In a monologue, the Necron lord [[Anrakyr]] later admires the Blood Angels, giving honour to their dead on Gehenna.

Also to be noted are the Daemons of [[Khorne]]. [[Ka'bandha]], ancient foe of Dante and the Blood Angels, was leading a campaign against them when Hive Fleet Leviathan invaded Baal. As the dust of the conflict cleared, it became evident that the Khornate daemons actually fought against the Tyranids on Baalind (Baal Primus), leaving behind the eight-pointed star of Chaos made out of Tyranid skulls. Suffice to say that there is some degree of respect (perhaps Khorne still desires the Blood Angels as his own, hmmm) and, if anyone is to destroy the Blood Angels, Ka'Bandha thinks it should be him.

Unsurprisingly, gets on fabulously well with Roboute Guilliman ironically as much Calgar does

==End Times==
{{Topquote|Death is lighter than a feather, duty heavier than a mountain.|Imperial Rescript to Soldiers and Sailors.}}
<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">
In the novelisation, there is a prophecy made by Sanguinius about the End Times, where a great, golden warrior will stand between the [[Emperor]] and the darkness. Dante believes that this golden warrior is him despite most Blood Angels assuming it refers to the Sanguinor. Dante used to castigate himself for what he saw as his vainglory, but he is now increasingly convinced that this warrior is indeed him, holding onto it as his reason to keep fighting through increasingly terrible odds.
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">

"I fear what I have seen. My visions plague me with darkness. So little of comfort can be gleaned from them. The consequences of our victory are dire indeed, as I have described in these writings, and yet there are some things I cannot bring myself to record, visions so dark that they fill my heart with despair.

The dreams of my father are dead, that is certain. Long aeons await of war and suffering that would break the heart of the Emperor to perceive. He never showed any sign that He saw the dark future advancing towards us. Does He know? I cannot credit that He does not. My gift of foresight – if gift it can truly be named – descends from His, and His is more potent than I can conceive. Time and again I have asked myself, did He always know, and did He foresee all that has come to pass? Or was He, like me, taken unawares? The brighter future I once saw has been burned to ashes and a second, rotten potentiality raised in its place. I curse you, Horus, I curse you to the end of days.I have written too often on these matters. I still cannot divine the answer. I shall instead write down my dream of last night. This brought some comfort to me when no comfort ought to be expected, and is thus worthy of record.
Dante unrolled the scroll, exposing the next page.

There shall come to pass days of great darkness, when mankind is diminished and all the lights of the world shall be extinguished, and the final scraps of hope torn away. I dreamed I was upon a plain of black sand studded with diamond stars. In the dream there was [[Tyranids|a great hunger]] that pervaded all time and space, a more terrible and consuming appetite than the thirst that dogs my sons. It rose from the east of the night, and swallowed the moons of Baal that coursed across the unfamiliar sky. Before Baal Secundus was consumed, a bright light flashed upon it and sped away, outpacing the shadows.The hunger spread rapidly, bloated by its meal of my home. Fortified by the blood of Baal, the formless hunger took shape, becoming a ravenous dragon that consumed the stars in great mouthfuls, until the only light was the memory of their glory, trapped in the diamonds on the sand. As the last star was eaten, the hellish Octed of the traitors burned through the western sky, writ in fire on the starless void. Then this too went out, and I was alone in the dark.

Shadows swirled and parted. The vision lost its disguise of metaphor, and I looked upon a scene that may be a true echo of the future. I saw my father. Ruined. Broken. I knew it was Him, though His body was little more than a corpse, for I could feel His mind. His power was much reduced in potency, and I could feel no sense of consciousness there, merely raging, ungoverned power that threatened to obliterate my sleeping mind. This living corpse of my father was trapped in machinery that fed His soul the essence of others. I do not know if I should commit this to paper, even in my private writings. He cannot ever know of this fate, if He does not already. Or is He aware, and makes this choice between that life in death and the utter destruction of mankind? If so, my respect for my father grows.
As the guns of the Warmaster pound at the walls of the Palace, perhaps this miserable reality is the best that can be hoped for. Perhaps this is what I must die to ensure.

The hunger came for my father. The puppets of the Dark Gods clashed with the hunger for the pleasure of killing Him. There was a warrior in gold before the throne, surrounded by my father’s Custodians and other heroes who, mighty though they were, paled next to the lords of our days. There they fought, and there they died. The vision ended as the devourer of flesh and the devourers of souls closed in on my lord and creator. There was despair only, despair and more despair. But before I woke something more. I sensed stirring in the warp, and the touch of my father, His mind made anew, and the knowledge that all might be well.

As I am fated to, so too did this golden warrior lay down his life to protect my father. The precious seconds he bought with his blood could change everything, or they could change nothing. Maybe the vision is false. I pray the future is mutable, and so it has proved in the past. All but the moment that draws near, the reckoning when I must face my brother. That I cannot avoid.
I do not know who this golden warrior was. He appeared similar to my Herald, and I saw my own face depicted upon his mask, but he was not me, and he wore a form of armour I do not know. It is certain that he was one of my sons, and whether his sacrifice will prove to be in vain or not, I know this: that he was a noble warrior, true and purer than any of his age, and I love him for that, for it means that my works for the Emperor, at least, have not been undertaken in vain, and that my unavoidable death might also prove fruitful."</div></div>

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Another prophecy concerning Dante comes from the WotDM infobook. In-universe, this prophecy was made by Sargon Eregesh, the Storm Oracle of the [[Black Legion]].
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">

{{Topquote|In the Time of Ending, we will see the final flight of the Dead Angel’s Host. They rise above us on howling wings. They fall upon us in a celestial storm. At their vanguard flies the Last Archangel. To the Neverborn, he will be the Death-that-Soars. To you and I, he will be a mortal man bearing the immortal face of his fallen father. To the Imperium of Man, he will be hope. A warrior of infinite courage. A soldier of infinite sorrows. Beware the golden mask that forever stares and never smiles, weeping tears of frozen gold.|The Mourner’s Prophecies.}}

This prophecy is independent of the one made by Sanguinius, but it is clear that the fluff has Dante fated for some epic climax. He is tired after sixteen hundred years of service, and clings onto the prospect of a final battle as personal motivation in these dark times.

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Finally, this account of Dante's situation from the ''Shield of Baal: Exterminatus''.
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For over a thousand years, Commander Dante has been Chapter Master of the Blood Angels. Amongst the greatest of Adeptus Astartes lords, he has overseen centuries of war across the length and breadth of the Imperium. Always clad in ancient gold artificer armour, he wears the Death Mask of Sanguinius, which bears the likeness of his Primarch. To the Emperor’s armies Dante is a golden god and the doom of the enemies of Mankind, while to the Blood Angels he is revered and respected like no other since the days of Sanguinius. Dante’s deeds are legend across the Imperium, from slaying the Bloodthirster Skarbrand before the gates of Pandemonium to vanquishing the Eldar pirates of Ruden III; from freeing the Tau bond-world of Vetrim from its deceitful overlords, to winning victory during the Second War for Armageddon against the Ork hordes of Warboss Ghazghkull. And yet for all his triumphs a shadow hangs over Dante. The Chapter Master feels the weight of years of war heavy upon him. He has been forced to witness the slow degeneration of his battle-brothers as they succumb to their genetic curse. Like Sanguinary High Priest Corbulo, Dante hopes for a cure to the blood madness that afflicts his kin. Yet with every passing year that hope dwindles a little more. Only one thing keeps Dante from giving in completely to these doubts, a prophecy recorded in the oldest of the Chapter’s records. Penned by the Primarch himself, it speaks of a golden warrior standing in defence of the Emperor’s throne during the final battle for Mankind. Dante believes that he is the one the scroll speaks of, and so he fights on, awaiting the day when he will be needed to hold back the darkness one last time.</div></div></div></div>

The ''Devastation of Baal'' gives strong traction to the possibility Dante is the Golden Warrior of Sanguinius' prophecies.

==Miscellaneous==
[[File:Dante old art.jpg|400px|thumb|right|<s>Trainers</s> Chaos hates him. Here he is, the Last Archangel, falling upon the enemies of man.]]
===Music===
Dante has his own theme leitmotif in the Warhammer 40k Armageddon video game. It is titled 'Dante's Retribution' and is an epic boss type music that lets you know shit is about to go down. Not surprising, cause Dante is the Imperium's big bad boss to kick the shit out of enemy bosses like Skarbrand and Ghazghkull. You can listen to it here https://soundcloud.com/danbewick/dantes-retribution-from-the-warhammer-40k-armageddon-ogs. The composer is Dan Bewick.

Damn, just think of that score playing when Dante beats the crap out of Skarbrand and Ghazghkull. The ominous intro transitions to a heroic action beat, climaxing into the score of a victorious Imperium. THE EMPEROR PROTECTS!

===Video games===
Dante's dialogues in the Warhammer 40k Armageddon video game can be heard on playthroughs of the game on Youtube. He is also an HQ Unit in the Blood Angels mod for Soulstorm.

===Card games===
Dante and the Blood Angels were featured in the Warhammer 40k cardgames by Sabertooth Games. These are ''Siege of Malogrim Hive'' and ''Dark Millennium''. Note that Sabertooth Games is now defunct, and the cardgames no longer supported.

===Board games===
Dante and the Blood Angels are featured in the ''Battle for Armageddon'' board game.

==On the Tabletop==
[[File:99800101001 CommanderDanteNEW 01.jpg|300px|right|thumb|His Model]]

8th Edition Dante!

{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Commander Dante:''' || 150 || 2+ || 2+ || 4 || 4 || 6 || 6 || 9 || 2+/4++
|}

Commander Dante himself, one of the [[Logan Grimnar|big]] [[Marneus Calgar|three]], and damn does it show. As of 8th Edition, he has changed. First off, his ability to hit or shoot anything on a flat 2+ is a great buff, but when combined with his ''Chapter Master'' ability which allows him and other units with the Blood Angels keyword within 6" to reroll failed hits, he and any force he accompanies quickly become a terror to behold. His Death Mask now inflicts a -1 modifier to enemy leadership for units within 3" of him.

As befitting of the oldest and most fabulous space vampire, he is no slouch in combat and has some great equipment. He comes with an inferno pistol that still has a 6" range, but it's an AP-4 weapon with D6 damage that gets to shoot while in melee. The Axe Mortalis has completely changed from seventh edition. It is now a S+2 AP-3 axe that does D3 damage and can reroll failed wound rolls against characters. Throw him at enemy characters and laugh as you tear them down while rerolling failed hit and wound rolls. Did I mention he has 6 attacks now? With lucky rolls, that's a potential 18 damage inflicted on one character or 6 elite models being struck down by this stone cold pimp.

{{Marines-Characters}}

[[Category:Space Marines Chapter Masters]]
[[Category:Blood Angels]]