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Primaris Space Marines

2019-08-30T11:42:33Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Potential Problems */

[[File:New40KPrimarisArt1.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Look out Chaos, there's a new kid on the block.]]
{{Topquote|They were forged for Mankind's darkest hour, and that hour is upon us.|[[Roboute Guilliman]]}}
{{Topquote|In a galaxy wreathed in darkness, we must be the light.|Unnamed Primaris Officer}}
{{Topquote|Today, we are canceling the apocalypse!|<strike>Marshal</strike> Senior Princep Stacker Pentecost, from the <strike>movie Pacific Rim</strike> Collegia Titanica}}

<s>True-Scale Space Marines</s> '''Primaris Space Marines''' (also known as Primaris Marines, Ultra-Ultramarines, Space Space Marines, Primarines, NuMarines, Chadmarines, [[Ultramarines: The Movie|The Greater-est of them all]], Adeptus Restartes, Gigglymarines, Super Space Marines, Biglymarines, Big League Marines, Space-marine Space-marine Space-Marines, 8thmarines, Bigmars, [[Stormcast Eternals|Spacesigmarines]], Guillimarines, Special Snowflake Marines, [[Mary Sue|Primarysues]], Ultra-Ultrasmurfs, [[Skub|Skubmarines]], Marines II: Electric Boogaloo, Tonka-Marines, the Replacements and the New Kids) are the next step forward in [[Space Marine]] evolution, not counting the [[Raptor]] Supermarines made by [[Corax]] during the [[Horus Heresy]] before [[Alpharius]] spiked the gene-tech with [[Daemon]] Blood.

[[Roboute Guilliman|Big Bobby G]] got together with [[Belisarius Cawl]] because [[Meme|each heard the other liked Space Marines, so they put more Astartes in their Astartes]], and the end result was this next generation of the Emperor's fearless defenders of humanity. They are bigger, stronger, tougher and maybe smarter than all that have come before them (big "maybe", though).

Buckle up boys, it's about to get hot and [[skub]]by in here.

==History and Background==
Shortly after the conclusion of the Horus Heresy, Guilliman predicted that another major Chaos attack on the Imperium might come at some point in the future. Though the Space Marines had proven themselves worthy defenders of Mankind, the Primarch foresaw that there might be a time where even they would struggle against the onslaught of the Ruinous Powers - [[Derp|because Roboute himself broke Legions in chapters]], and those tend to have problems fighting Black Crusades against ''hundreds of thousands'' CSM (the reason why Dorn declined Codex Astartes at first, being one of the few after the Scouring to suppose the Traitor Legions may be back one day). But nowadays it turns out Guilliman knew about it as well - which makes the whole situation awkward to say the least.

Ahem, in a frankly extreme show of [[just as planned]] (though Guilliman probably didn't plan to be made Fulgrim's bitch), our [[Spiritual Liege]] gained the aid of Archmagos Belisarius Cawl and began a program to create a new, superior form of Space Marines in secret over the next ten millennia. To assist him, Guilliman gave Cawl a relic called the Sangprimus Portum- a device containing the purest samples of each Primarch's [[/d/|genetic material]] that outstripped even the gene-seed in its potency.

Even after he was poisoned by [[Fulgrim]], Guilliman's plan continued without anybody learning about it, and by the time of his revival, Primaris Marines were ready to be unveiled to the Imperium - the only thing needed was a sanction from the Primarch himself.

In conjunction with the [[Ultima Founding]], there are now going to be entirely new chapters composed just of Primaris Marines as well, with some taking over the [[Fortress-Monastery|fortress-monasteries]] of extinct chapters. In addition many chapters devastated by recent conflicts are also being reinforced by the Primaris joining their ranks. Some to the point that they essentially become Primaris chapters with the original marines becoming a minority in the ranks.

Standard marines can also be "transformed" into Primaris Marines. The first revealed to have gone through with this procedure was [[Marneus Calgar]]. However, the process, dubbed the "Rubicon Primaris" is also agonizing even by Space Marine standards, very difficult (the description of it we have for when Marneus Calgar went through it has his entire body sliced open and briefly killed him in the process- they had to jump-start his heart to revive him afterwards), and according to Cawl himself it has a 61.6% chance of failure until Cawl had enough data to refine the process. By and large, it's indisputably easier to make new Primaris from scratch rather than convert old marines, so expect the procedure to be mostly restricted to special characters with the necessary plot armor to survive it.

The introduction of the Primaris marines and the Rubicon Primaris has been controversially received by the current space marine chapters across the Imperium, with opinions ranging from enthusiastic to full-on hostility - Guilliman himself has referred to the Primaris as "Cawl's blasphemous hordes", not because he himself is distasteful of them (quite the opposite, in fact), but as a reference to how controversial their implementation has been to the wider Imperium. Some claim that the Primaris would be the end of many chapters' traditions and character (which isn’t meta at all) and is against what the Emperor intended for the Astartes. Others claim they will breathe new life into many struggling chapters and an ailing Imperium.

==New Stuff==
*The basic Primaris Marine is encased in [[Power Armour#Mark X: Tacticus Armour|Mark X Tacticus Armour]]. Basically, it's the best of all the suits that came before it, wrapped up into one convenient package; no [[Beakie]] schnozz, but it's got that sweet Maximus style vox grill. As usual, mechanically this is entirely cosmetic.
**[[Primarch#Two_Missing_Primarchs|We don't talk about Mark IX Power Armour]].
**Bigger, tougher Primaris Marines wear [[Power_Armour#Mark_X:_Gravis_Armour|Mark X Gravis Armour]]. As of 8E, this translates to +1T and +1W. Shiny.
**Reivers and Vanguard Primaris Marines wear [[Power Armour#Mark X: Phobos Armour|Mark X Phobos Armour]], sleeker-looking, with <strike>crocs, capris, and</strike> skull-faced helmets for the Reivers. The other guys have helmets somewhat similar to the Mark VII Armor.
**Suppressors wear Mark X Omnis Armor, which combines elements of the Tacitus Armor and the Inceptor's version of the Gravis Armor.
*They wield the [[Bolt#Bolt Rifle|Mark II Cawl-pattern Bolt rifle]] as their standard firearm. Apparently a "perfected" version of the ubiquitous bolter, it does have an improved statline - 30" Rapid Fire 1 S4 AP-1 D1 - which appears to be a boltgun with an extended barrel.
**Its statline is one AP worse than the new "Special Issue Boltgun" Sternguard carry, but their big selling point is some combination of being cheaper/easier to manufacture and using more readily available/cheaper/easier to manufacture ammunition, reflected in their points cost - bolt rifles are the same gun for 3 points cheaper in 8E.
**At least two variants of Bolt Rifle exist- the Auto Bolt Rifle, which has lower AP and shorter ranges but offers greater mobility and rate of fire due to being Assault 3, and the Stalker Bolt Rifle, a Heavy 1 sniper variant with superior range and one extra point of AP and damage.
*An enhanced [[gene-seed]], which was created by combining the purified genetic material of the Loyalist Primarchs with parts of the [[Adeptus Custodes|Custodes]] creation process (as they don't have gene-seed) that adds 3 more organs to the existing 19. It's also worth noting that Cawl did something to make the Primaris Marines physically incapable of turning traitor. Guilliman's internal monologue in Dark Imperium reveals that he considers it an impossibility for Primarines to turn, unlike "the old breed". Even though he is against the use of genes from the traitor legions despite the extreme heroica of the loyalists of those legions. Which is seriously a dick move (but probably won't stop Cawl either way). This has interesting implications about whether or not the Primaris marines truly have free will, assuming that they truly are unable to fall to Chaos- it is just as likely that they haven't been active long enough for any corruption to take hold yet. The book War of Secrets heavily implies they have some kind of innate Chaos resistance, being immune to a psychic plague that infested other Space Marines.
**The new organs are:
***'''Sinew Coils''', which turn the Primaris Marines into [[Wat|Inspector Gadget]]....okay, we may be joking here, but it's basically metallic coils wrapped around the Marine's tendons and ligaments that can contract with extreme force.
****This is particularly interesting, as it's not actually a living organ, and hence is presumably not developed from gene-seed at all (Actually, in the book "Dark Imperium: Plague War" Guy Haley describes them as a "network of supplementary muscles unique to the Primaris Marines". So maybe they are a real organic implant and not a bionic one. Who knows because, for example, the Dark Imperium books also contradicts the 8th Edition Codices about the original primaris haven't been recruited from the original legiones homeworlds. So what we could have here is just another classic case of author messing up the fluff again as it is described as metallic in most other publications).
***'''The Magnificat''', which just sets the rest of the superhuman organs into overdrive (and is itself part of a super-organ dubbed the '''Immortis Gland''' intended for Primarchs, though the information needed to complete it is lost), as well as producing additional growth hormone.
***'''Belisarian Furnace''' (because Cawl gets a robo-boner for naming things after himself), essentially a 'last-stand' organ, which gives a Primaris Marine a supercharged adrenaline rush near death while triggering rapid tissue and bone regeneration. This presumably explains the additional Wound they have.
****The organ also happens to be essential in the implementation of the Rubicon Primaris. The current procedure apparently kills the patient for a short while and the organs healing abilities is essential in reviving the patient post operation (at least that is what occured in Marneus Calgars case) assuming that they come back alive at all.

==Potential Problems==
* Primaris marines were made from all extant Loyalist genelines, and thanks to the material made available to [[Belisarius Cawl]] through the Sangprimus Portum, show little to none of the idiosyncrasies that usually mark the bloodlines of [[Space Wolves|Russ]] and [[Blood Angels|Sanguinius]]. Not only that, but according to an (admittedly biased) in-universe source, there's only a .001% chance of genetic deviation per generation, which means that the Primaris genestock are incredibly stable as well. Interestingly, thanks to Cawl's work Chapters that have lost organs through the centuries (like the [[Imperial Fists]]) or have malfunctioning organs (like the [[Raven Guard]]) all of a sudden have a complete set of organs thanks to the influx of new Primaris blood.
** This means of course that Chapters like the [[Space Wolves]], who due to the same quirks of their genetics were unable to ''have'' successors, [[Wolfspear|can now have them]], without fear of them devolving into [[Wulfen]] in one generation. Despite this stability, some people (see [[Flesh Tearers|Gabriel Seth]]) aren't too happy at this flagrant tinkering with the Emperor's work. Despite the fact the Primarchs and Astartes were created by teams of gene-smiths and the Emperor acted more like a project leader than personal inventor. One of the major head guys of said projects was Cawl himself. If you really think about it, this means Cawl actually has a greater claim to their creation than the Emperor, which is kinda disturbing in itself.
** It's worth noting that in the '''Kill Team Focus: The Adeptus Astartes''', [[Black Dragons]] Reivers with bone mutations are mentioned. Maybe this is due to the purposeful mutation farming by the Black Dragons, or maybe the mutation rate is higher than Daddy Cawl cares to admit. That said, it's been 100 years since the Ultima Founding, and chapters can, presumably, create their own Primaris Marines, not to mention the AdMech were the ones who (unintentionally) gave them their specific mutation in the first place, so maybe Cawl's fucking around with them or [[heresy|he purposefully gave their Primaris the same mutation]]. Wouldn't be the first time an engineer went "It's not a bug, it's a feature!"
* Despite being bigger and stronger than "regular" Astartes, what the Primaris initially lacked was actual battlefield experience (a fact bemoaned by Captain Felix of the [[Ultramarines]] in ''Dark Imperium'' to have been the cause of most of the initial losses to the Primaris). While this has been mostly been offset by the long and hard Indomitus Crusade campaign, even after a hundred-odd years of war the average Primaris marine is looked upon as a relative greenhorn by regular Astartes veterans. They have a lot to prove to their adopted Chapters as a result.
** We get little hints of this having to prove themselves goodness in the Dark Angels codex. A group of Hellblasters are half put off, half inspired by the strictness of their primogenitor. After the squad gets trapped in a hive city for days fighting off enemies, they rack up so many kills even Belial can't help but smile.
*The Dark Angel example above illustrates another problem: how well will the new Primaris Marines get along with their chapter? The Dark Angels are an extreme example given their <s>issues</s> UNSWERVING LOYALTY TO THE IMPERIUM, but other chapters may have their own problems getting the first couple batches of Primaris marines to get with the traditions and cultures of their chapters. The Space Wolves were mentioned as being similar, as some of the Wolf Lords initially questioned the worth of those not born on Fenris to be called sons of Leman Russ, despite the Legion’s recruitment practices prior to finding its Primarch and their extensive achievments during that period. In spite of their misgivings and claims that Guilliman was using them to dilute their traditions, Logan Grimnar ordered that they be integrated into the packs; however, rivalries between Primaris Space Wolves and their shorter counterparts are still common. At least papa wolf doesn’t take shit and accepts whatever helps protect humanity.
**As the Primaris have no Terminators ([[skub|Aggressors are debatable]]) or Biker units or any real equivalents. (Yet, if GW thought that far ahead.) I.e. Hellblasters and Inceptors can be deployed in place of Sternguard and Vanguard Veterans in other chapters. With the exception of Primaris Librarians, induction into the Inner Circle or the upper ranks of the Ravenwing is unlikely, at least until some time passes. Or in fluff they might end up being added without specialized vehicles and the size issue could he handwaived. There are also rumors of Primaris getting actual Terminators and Bikers "soon". Though it's best to take them with a grain of salt as they've been around since Primaris Marines were announced for Dark Angels.
*Chaos will be interested in the Primaris Marines. The [[Chaos Gods]] are not happy with the existence of the Primaris Marines, and are creating some warp charged warriors to counter them (enhanced Chosen, perhaps). [[Fabius Bile|Fabulous Bill]] became obsessed with "perfecting" the Primaris Marines from the moment he first encountered them and has already begun trying to kidnap Primaris Marines for dissection. They've supposedly been made resistant to Chaos influence, but "resistant" doesn't mean "immune" by a long shot, since they still have a soul. In fact a [[Noxious Blightbringer]] is able to effect them in Dark Imperium, successfully hurting and trying to get them to turn. And come to think of it, the cover image of 8th Edition does seem to partially show a [[Plague Marine]] in Tacitus armor...
**The discovery that Cawl wanted to use Traitor Legion gene-seed as well as the gene-seed of the missing legions to make Primaris Marines doesn't help the matter; Guilliman refused to let him do so, but he has a feeling Cawl will try it anyway with predictable results.
***Cawl claims that it was only due to the influence of the traitorous Primarchs that their Legions fell to Chaos. While this may be true, attempting to test that theory would almost certainly be an extremely bad idea.
****The [[Sons of the Phoenix]] exist.
***The reasons as to why the the Lost Legions were purged so thoroughly were apparently so unthinkably horrible (so much that even after his rebellion had begun, Horus was still unwilling to break the vow he made to never speak of the Missing Primarchs) that Cawl trying to use their DNA might bite him in the ass even harder than for using gene-seed from the Traitor Primarchs.
*While barely explored in-universe so far, the various alien races in the setting may also take exception to or dangerous interest in the Primaris Marines.[[Urien Rakarth]] has expressed interest in them in spite of what he calls Guilliman's "lack of imagination", and has requested his [[Haemonculus|Haemonculi]] bring as many to him as possible; more unnervingly, he has expressed that he will be saving his best oubliette for the Primarch if he ever wished to "learn from the master". It would be equally unsurprising if [[Illuminor Szeras|a certain spider-legged robot mad scientist]] also wanted to collect a few Primaris specimens. The rest of the alien races, fortunately, are much less interested in genetic modification and would be more likely to view them as being more or less like any other Space Marine, although at least one Ork Mekboy came up with the idea of creating more potent bullets to deal with "da big beakies". As of the Ork codex, Mad Dok Grotsnik (You know, the guy who CREATED GHAZGHKULL) has kidnapped a bunch of Silver Skulls Primaris marines for unknown purposes. So that bodes well.
* The book "War of Secrets" has the Primaris Marines of the Dark Angels (and by implication, all Primaris Marines of Terran stock) heavily influenced by the culture of Mars: they call the Emperor the Omnissiah, reverently call their creator 'Pater Cawl', and swear to the glory of "chapter, Terra and Mars". This raises the question of if they are more loyal to the Adeptus Mechanicus than the Imperium or even their own Chapter. Indeed, in the book its one of the main reasons the Dark Angels don't trust them.
* Despite the Primaris widely being seen as, and intended to be, the replacements for standard Astartes, and most Chapters having the means and technology to create Primaris Space Marines of their own, many still choose to continue creating standard Space Marines as well for their more flexible and readily available equipment and combat doctrines (not to mention being able to drive all the space marine vehicles that the Primaris are apparently too cool for). Outside of full Primaris chapters, the newmarines are gonna have to just get used to being supplementary. Not that this is surprising- only so much gene-seed is produced, and nobody's dumb enough to just throw it out.
**While the Rubicon Primaris can convert existing Astartes into Primaris, the process is life-threatening, complex, and prone to failure due to lack of refinement. On top of all that, it has caused a fair degree of friction in itself, with some Marines welcoming the possibility for all Astartes to become Primaris and others whispering of possible refusal or even open revolt if the transformation was made compulsory, although given how risky the procedure is, this probably isn't an overt concern.
*Where the fuck are the chainswords?

==Forces of the Primaris Marines==
[[File:Blood Raven 1.JPG|300px|thumb|right|"[[Roboute Guilliman|Lord Commander]], the batch 3789-Alpha is missing! Just after the visit of..." "[[Just as Planned|I know.]]"]]
Primaris Marines don't get to select from a variety of equipment loadouts, but the equipment they do carry is designed by [[Cawl]], who is shockingly competent, so they usually outgun their non-Primaris equivalents who tried to choose an otherwise identical loadout; this forces them to depend on other units to support them to fill in any gaps (much like Eldar Aspect Warriors). They enjoy, as of 8E, +1W and +1A relative to a regular marine, making them more durable and a lot more dangerous in melee combat. Some of them wear [[Power_Armour#Mark_X:_Gravis_Armour|Mark X Gravis Armour]], for another +1T (and another wound as of the 8.5e codex).
*'''[[Primaris Captain|Primaris Captain:]]''' Primaris Captains are the analogues of [[Space Marine]] Captains. They are decked out in the new Gravis Armor which somehow manages to be even ''MOAR'' egg-shaped than a [[Squat]] [[Hearthguard]]. They're armed with a mini-Gauntlet of Ultramar/Hand of Dominion (I.E. a three-shot bolt pistol built into a power fist) and a master-crafted power sword. Others use the Mark X Tacitus power armor and wield a power sword and their choice of Stalker Boltgun or Auto Bolt Rifle. There's also a plasma pistol and power fist model exclusive to Games Workshop stores celebrating their anniversaries. As of the Shadowspear Boxed Set, he can now be equipped with Phobos Armor (and presumably a Cameoline Cloak) for some sneaky breeki action.
*'''[[Primaris Librarian|Primaris Librarian:]]''' Just what it sounds like. Has a fancy-looking Force Sword.
**'''Vanguard Librarian:''' A variant used by the Vanguard Primaris Marines. Has a camo-robe, just in case an 8 foot tall lightning-flinging, power armoured wizard needs to be subtle. Or maybe he's cosplaying as a Dark Angel, we don't know. In either case, he has a different set of powers that focus on making his allies even sneakier.
*'''[[Primaris Chaplain|Primaris Chaplain:]]''' Self-explanatory; they wear black robes as though they're aping on the [[Interrogator-Chaplain]]s. In battle, they wear an Iron Halo and carry a Crozius Arcanum alongside a specialized Absolver Bolt Pistol. To double down on the skull motif, their breastplate looks like a ribcage.
*'''[[Primaris Lieutenant|Primaris Lieutenants:]]''' The Primaris Lieutenants are somewhere between a Captain and a Sergeant in rank, and are often the most experienced of a Primaris Squad. Their role is to take command of demi-companies when the Captain is absent, freeing Chaplains and Librarians to focus on their own specialties. Lieutenants are differentiated from their fellow marines by a red-on-white stripe on their helms. Some of them can be helmetless which often showcase an extreme amount of Hair-esy. They can either use a power sword or a master-crafted automatic version of the Bolt Rifle (shorter range and worse ap, but better rate of fire at long range, fireable after Advancing, and more damage per shot from being master-crafted).
**'''Vanguard Lieutenant''': Lieutenants of the Vanguard Primaris swap out their bolt rifles for an occulus bolt carbine that helps them pick off enemies from far away, and while they only use a basic combat knife they're surprisingly good with it. They can also deep strike via grav-chute like the Reivers.
*'''[[Primaris Ancient|Primaris Ancients:]]''' Primaris Marines dubbed honorable enough to have the privilege of carrying the Standard's Banner. Identifiable by their white helmets (although that could change depending on the Chapter), they are in no way related to another [[Tarkus|dude-clad-in-power-armor-wearing-a-white-helmet-that-also-comes-with-the-same-name-from-a-certain-WH40K-game]]. At least until he's been upgraded. In case you were wondering, "Ancient" is a corruption of the rank of "Ensign" which was a term for an army's flagbearer in the Middle Ages, so it has nothing to do with how old the Marine in question actually is.
*'''[[Primaris Apothecary|Primaris Apothecary:]]''' A specialization of Primaris Marine first seen in artwork and promo photos, and now has rules and a model. Their left bracer appears to have a screen on it for monitoring lifesigns, and they have a pistol with a reductor built into it for geneseed removal (and the occasional puncturing of enemy skulls). The Narthecium attached to a <s>cyberdong</s> mechadendrite on the Apothecary's back.
*'''Primaris Techmarine:''' One of them acts as the pintle gunner for the Repulsor Tank. That's about all we know.
*'''[[Reiver|Reivers:]]''' Reivers are Space Marines created from the gene-seed of [[Sly Marbo]]. Think [[Catachan Jungle Fighters]] in [[Power Armor]]. It's time to piss yourselves, [[Chaos Space Marines|traitorous scum.]] Reivers are the only true close-combat specialist Infantry for the Primaris and are pretty good at it overall. Compared to Intercessors they have a Combat Knife for another attack and an improved Bolt Pistol with greater Armour Penetration, and the ability to negatively effect enemy morale. They can be equipped for more ranged combat but that is not why you take them. They have Deep-Strike option like everyone else, but also a new grappling hook that allows them to both outflank and jump-up ruins like they're nothing. But arguably their biggest trump-card is their special grenade that causes effected units to lose both their overwatch and minus one to shooting. While not the most devastating CC unit in the game they make excellent back-field harassers and synergize wonderfully with the rest of your army with their ability to cripple enemy gun-lines.
*'''[[Aggressor|Aggressors:]]''' Aggressors are basically Primaris [[Terminators]] mixed in with [[Centurion Squad|Centurions]], but with a 3+ save. They have an even more specialized Gravis armor, and either an automatic version of the Primaris Captain's Boltstorm Gauntlet paired with shoulder-mounted grenade launchers or a flamer-equipped version of said gauntlet dubbed the Flamestorm gauntlet. Regardless of what they're equipped with, they specialize in close-range firepower that obliterates light infantry.
*'''[[Intercessor|Intercessors:]]''' Intercessors are the <s>standard</s> SUPER bolter Marines, having most in common with a bare-bones tactical squad as they're armed with Primaris versions of the same things (such as their super bolters and Mk X armour). Compared to tacticals, they perform better in melee and have greater armour penetration on their basic weapons along with being more survivable, making them effective in a wider variety of situations. This is both a strength and a weakness, as while they may be bigger Jacks of all trades, they're even worse masters of nothing. Compared to Tacticals they have fewer weapon and transport options and only one type of heavy weapon choice. This might be part of the reason that other Primaris Marines are more specialized: to compensate/synergize. As Primaris specialists may be more vulnerable to heavy firepower and be fire-magnets, Intercessors with their flexibility they can more reliably protect other more valuable units and plug any holes that arise from specialist losses, or make themselves useful against any foe until the hard-hitting second wave arrives (being the most versatile as far as Primaris Marines go).
*'''[[Inceptor|Inceptors:]]''' Inceptors are the <strike>[[Assault Marines]] equivalent</strike> drop troops of the Primaris Marines and are equipped with a new pattern of Jump Packs, two Assault Bolters, which are basically sawn off Heavy Bolters, a pair of hand-portable Plasma Cannons, and a pair of [[Derp|absolutely ridiculous-looking shoe-shovels.]] Unlike Assault Squads, the Inceptors' focus is on firepower and a pseudo Hammer of Wrath. This makes them closer in role to Assault Bikes as a fast moving strafing unit and harasser. They lack melee weapons of any kind; this doesn't mean they can't fight in melee, as their sheer weight allows them to crush their enemies to death, and they still have the statline of "normal" Primaris marines along with being even tougher to hurt, making them not completely useless in a scrap. Don't get it in your head that their melee ability is "good", though, or even decent, and only engage in melee if you have to; they do far better blowing things into tiny pieces.
*'''[[Hellblaster|Hellblasters:]]''' Hellblasters are Primaris Marines who make Flash Gitz green(er) with envy. They use [[Plasma#Plasma Incinerator|Plasma Incinerators]], enhanced Plasma Guns with longer range and armor piercing ability. Aside from that, there's nothing special about them as compared to "regular" Primaris marines. Very expensive and vulnerable to strong weapons, but they fuck up TEQs and can pose a threat to vehicles if they can get into Rapid Fire range, though outside of said range it's not as suicidal to unload a charged volley, so they can threaten vehicles there, too. Also, with the changes to how cover works, they are terrifying against cover campers. With how big a fire magnet these guys are, if you get these guys close to an expensive or dangerous vehicle or multiwound TEQs feel free to HELLBLAST them into oblivion in a suicide barrage. (That is, IF they're at risk of being wiped out or swarmed.)
*'''[[Redemptor Dreadnought|Primaris Redemptor Dreadnought:]]''' For no matter how great and glorious they may be, [[Grimdark|in the grim future even they are not immortal]]. Though how enough of these brand spanking-new Space Marines were curbstomped just enough to warrant Dreadnought status, we'll (probably) never know (hundreds of thousands of Primaris fighting in the over a century long indomitus crusade may be the answer). Times be desperate, yo. Probably because they're so hard to kill that just about all of them that couldn't be saved are made dread-ful.
*'''[[Repulsor_Tank|Repulsor]]:''' The Repulsor is the standard transport and/or tank (nobody's entirely sure yet) of the Primaris Marines. Which is good for them, because they can't go inside standard Space Marine transports, including ones that can hold Terminators, Centurions, and (in 30k) even fucking ''Primarchs.'' There must be [[Profit|some mysterious force surpassing even the Emperor]] blocking the door - which also blocks the door on this thing if you try to convince a ''non''-Primaris to go inside. Being a floating [[METAL BOXES|Metal Box]], it might be considered the spiritual successor to the [[Grav-Rhino]], if you covered said Grav-Rhino with missile pods everywhere, including on its rear and sides, put twin-linked lascannon in the front hull, and gave it what looks like a [[Fail|heavy stubber]] as a coaxial gun to go with the turret lascannon and pintle-mounted Gatling gun.
**'''Repulsor Executioner:''' Now the Repulsor is an ACTUAL battle tank, and is incredibly well kitted out.
*'''Overlord:''' The Overlord is the Primaris-exclusive dropship used to support the bigger frames of the Primaris Marines. You would think the [[Thunderhawk]] would be big enough for them, but it seems they are ''too'' [[Mary Sue|special]] to share the same vehicle with their smaller brothers. Anyways, the Overlord is noticeable for one thing. It is '''ECKS BAWKS HUEG''', making a Thunderhawk look like a [[Stormtalon]] in comparison. In terms of specs, it is the [[Corvus Blackstar]] on steroids. Seriously, it has powerful quintuple engines and twinned hulls thick enough to permit insertion from orbit, like Thunderhawks or Stormbirds, and like Blackstars, Overlords possess twin transport bays with their own assault doors, but they're considerably bigger (they can carry up to 40 of your Chadmarines) and even more blessed with advanced technologies like fucking [[AWESOME|energy shields]] ([[Heresy|Guess Cawl kind of]] [[Blood Ravens|'borrowed']] [[Extra Heresy|some of that sweet ass energy shields from the]] [[Eldar|pointy-eared gitz]]). Additionally, the Overlord is equipped with anti-munitions cannons, wing-mounted Desolator Lascannons, nose-mounted Melta Cannons and Heavy Bolters fixed on its lower wing surfaces. This thing is pretty much a flying [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|Titan]] or an Imperial [[Manta]].
*'''[[Astraeus|Astraeus Super-Heavy Tank]]:''' Surely the result of a grudging 3-way between a Mastodon, a Sicaran, and a somewhat reluctant Repulsor, the Astraeus is the first Primaris super-heavy tank (implying there will be more variants on the way) and looking to be an utter beast on the tabletop - it's armed with Land Raider style frontal Heavy Bolter mount, two front angled sponsons for Las-Rippers or Plasma Eradicators, topped with a turret mounted dual Macro-Accelerator Cannon. Given how expensive it is to field a decently kitted repulsor, it remains to be seen how viable it will be to concentrate so many points into one vehicle.

===Vanguard Space Marines===
Apparently Guilliman and Cawl [[Stormcast Eternals|swapped notes]] with [[Sigmar]] when it came to organizing the Primaris forces. The Primaris of the Vanguard Space Marines are geared mainly towards guerilla warfare and infiltration; most of them wear the Phobos pattern armor Reivers wear, since it offers improved mobility with no loss of protection (leading to the obvious question of why anyone wears the base Tacticus pattern). The only exception is the Suppressor, who wears Omnis pattern armor, which is effectively the Phobos version of Gravis armor, because Primaris marines are so bad at using standard jump packs.

*'''[[Primaris Captain|Vanguard Captains]]:''' The final evolution of the Scout Marine. Armed with a sniper rifle and a few party tricks, most of which are shared with the scout.
*'''[[Vanguard Lieutenant]]s:''' A melee heavy Lt. with an improved boltgun and the same deepstrike ability the rest of the vanguard has.
*'''[[Vanguard Librarian]]s:''' A stealth librarian specializing in buffs. Only Vanguard HQ worth a damn.
*'''[[Helix Adept]]s:''' Because GW loves repeating themselves here's a retro Apothecary who remembers that it's smarter to stay in a unit than to stand alone as an elite. Same skills as normal medic but a more limited target pool.
*'''[[Eliminator|Eliminators]]:''' Essentially power-armored sniper scouts equipped with exotic ammunition, or if you want to be a smart ass Primaris Sternguard with Scout Gear. [[awesome| Their Bolt weapons look like oversized G36s]].
*'''[[Infiltrator|Infiltrators]]:''' These appear to be the equivalents of the Intercessors, at least in the sense of being the standard Bolter-wielders. They appear to be using some kind of scoped Bolt Carbine variant and smoke grenades.
*'''[[Incursor|Incursors]]:''' An alternate build for Infiltrators that specialize in hitting dug in or concealed enemies with the aid of multi-spectrum arrays and occulus bolt carbines.
*'''[[Suppressor|Suppressors]]:''' What you get when you cross an Inceptor with a Devastator. Those big autocannons are sure to make the [[Scourges]] jealous. Totally not based on the [[/a/|Zakus from Gundam]].
*'''[[Impulsor]]:''' A light transport and support vehicle for Vanguard marines that can outfitted for a variety of roles including orbital bombardment spotter.
*'''[[Invictor Tactical Warsuit]]:''' A stripped down Redemptor Dreadnought with its sarcophagus removed and replaced with a cockpit, sound dampening technology, and a [[Awesome|giant removable heavy bolter sidearm.]]

==On the Tabletop==
Crunch wise, Primaris Space Marines are about as physically dangerous as Space Marines are already supposed to be fluff-wise, so they get an additional Attack and an additional Wound; weapons which deal additional Wounds seem to be fairly common now, so while it might not be a big improvement it can still be helpful. However, they also have exclusive access to shiny new toys from Cawl, including a "basically Kraken" Bolter with +6" range and -1 AP, a Plasma gun with +6" range and -4 AP, and half-range [[AWESOME|one-handed Assault Heavy Bolters and Plasma Cannons. That they dual-wield. With jump packs.]] Defensively, so far only they have access to Gravis armor, which grants +1 Toughness (and even then only the Captain, Aggressors, and Inceptors can use it). Finally, their squads don't mix weapon types, with all members carrying the same loadout; whether this will be a benefit or a downside relative to "standard" marines being able to carry a mixed loadout remains to be seen with the other new rules in 8th, such as the ability of any squad to split its fire across multiple targets.

Most of the Primaris units so far also cost nearly twice as many points as their older counterparts and have unit sizes no larger than a <del>5</del> 10 model maximum (including the Serge). This strongly suggests they will be more useful as a supplement to standard Marine forces than they might be as outright replacements; they're far too inflexible and expensive to be fielded effectively on their own, and their lack of melee specialists and access to weaponry with a range greater than 36" is a glaring flaw (for now) as well. And while their movement is no worse than any other Marine, for reasons that totally aren't financial in origin they can't take '''any''' transports usable by standard Marines. Not [[Rhino|Rhinos]], not [[Drop Pods]], not [[Land Raider|Land Raiders]], not even the motherfucking [[Mastodon]]. They can use the Thunderhawk, but odds are you're not going to have room for it in your standard 2000 points game, and even then, it has to be carrying only Primaris Marines (and in that case, it still can't carry too many). They have a special transport called a Repulsor (which is a [[Awesome|grav tank]]), which somehow can't carry non-Primaris, but besides that they have no choice but to go footslogging.

However, single-model units can be astonishingly efficient - the most extreme case is the Primaris Librarian, who has a static, unchangeable loadout, but costs the exact same as a non-Primaris Librarian with the same loadout (a bolt pistol and Force Sword).

Primaris armies can seem deceptively small, however, they have an incredible wound density. This makes your basic squads like Intercessors far more point efficient than Tactical Marines (since in 8th edition Tac Marines just kind of completely suck eggs), and are the better option when it comes to holding down homefield objectives. They're also by far some of the best bolter infantry available, with a number of advantages over basic Sternguard (though lacking access to combi-weapons). Other squads such as Hellblasters vs Devastators, Aggressors vs Terminators, etc. are less clear-cut, but overall the Primaris squads are more than able to carry their own weight, providing value in their role, sacrificing a little bit of flexibility for durability but not quite enough to make them Eldar-level cripples outside their niche.

Currently the Primaris are considered to be much more of a shooty army than a punchy one. They can handle themselves in melee yes, and aggressors and rievers can dish it out in CQC, but they currently lack ultraheavy weight facepunchers like Assault Terminators, Killsaw Meganobz or Bikernobz, Necron Wraiths, Melee Warriors and 'Fexes, Wraithblades and so on. They can handle the chaff in close combat but lack true top tier facepunchers. The majority of their shooting is also within the 4-7 strength range and virtually all of it is within the 12-36 inch range bracket due to their extreme focus on infantry. They're a little awkward to use as a standalone army at the moment since they currently have a fraction of the unit choices available to more established armies, but entirely usable to newbies and old pros alike and are a generally very forgiving army where while there's not a whole lot of units and load-outs to choose from, everything's role is pretty immediately obvious at a glance.

It is very unlikely that this will remain the case indefinitely as their model range is almost certain to expand dramatically over the years with goodies like fliers, vehicles, walkers, new guns, melee units, bikes and all that neat stuff but keep in mind that as of right now they're an army meant to dominate infantry gunfights, not win artillery duels, go about tank jousting, bomb things from the stratosphere, zoom around objectives in bikes or transports, or punch things in the face. That being said, they'll shred shit up in short to mid ranged infantry gunfights and have enough other options to handle other targets without feeling hopeless. The other benefit of course, is that this is an army that is very young and have the spotlight shining on them and are guaranteed to only get more options in the near future until they can finally rival the bewildering array of toys the OG Space Marines can field.

Of course the downside to that is that none of us are exactly sure how future content will change up the Primaris as an army as they're still finding their character as a faction so it's difficult to plan around that and you'll almost definitely find yourself needing to get at least some of the future models. Looking at the patterns of stormcast eternal releases over in Age of Sigmar seems to be a somewhat decent guide to what the future might hold though.

===Rules Datasheets===
<gallery>
File:New40kPrimarisCaptainAgainFull.jpg|Stats for the Captain. GW is being awfully generous with these datasheets.
File:New40kIntercessorDatasheet.jpg|Behold the Intercessor Datasheet (thanks GW!).
File:New40kPrimarisInceptorVersion2Full.jpg|The Inceptor rules, sadly the shoe-shovels have no stats.
File:Hellblaster stats.jpeg|Hellblaster stats, because leaks are great for those on the outside. Note how when their guns explode they die, rather than take damage.
</gallery>

==Gallery==
===Miniatures===
<gallery>
File:Captain1.jpg|A Primaris Captain channeling the [[meme|Juggernaut BITCH!]]
File:BirthdayPrimaris.jpg|The super-ultra-limited Primaris Captain.
File:Lieutenant1.jpg|Primaris Lieutenants, not quite butter bars, not quite seasoned
File:Ancient1.jpg|I am NOT [[Tarkus]]!
File:40kPrimarisLibReveal1.jpg|Being a Librarian ain't easy.
File:40kPreviewJuly23_Chaplain8h-500x466.jpg|The Chaplain. Totally not [[Blizzard|Reaper from Overwatch]].
File:40kPreviewJuly23_Apothecary2n-500x461.jpg|The Apothecary.
File:Intercessor2.jpg|Super Smurfs!
File:Reivers.jpg|Surprise Motherfucker!!
File:Helblaster1.jpg|An entire ''squad'' of Super-Smurfs with upgraded Plasma Guns.
File:Inceptor1.jpg|Inceptors! Now capable of flying and skiing!
File:IMG-20171123-WA0005.jpg|Lieutenant Tolmeron pulling a charge pose with his saber. Now all you need to do is mount him on a horse and you're golden.
File:IMG-20171123-WA0002.jpg|Lieutenant Zakariah. Look at how smug his face is, like he has just <s>apprehended the Fallen </s> CLEARED ALL HERETICS FROM THE SECTOR
File:40K-Space-Wolves-Primaris-Battle-Leader-Haldor-Icepelt.jpg|The Woof Guard Battle Leader. Does his pose reminds you of someone else? ('''*cough*''' ARTEMIS, NEW POSSESED '''*cough*''')
</gallery>

===Pictures===
<gallery>
File:Space_Marine_Squared.png|A Squad of Intercessors about to go to town on some greenskins. Aren't they beautiful?
File:Redemptor_Dreadnought.PNG|I HAVE LEGS! I HAVE FULLY ARTICULATED LEGS!
File:Chad marine hover tank.png|Guilliman and Cawl have figured out how to build hover tanks once more!
File:Aggressors.jpg|The Aggressors box.
File:PassiveAgressors.jpg|Passive Aggressors, ready to make catty remarks at the enemy
File:Chap&apoc.png|Grainy sighting of a Primaris Apothecary and Chaplain.
</gallery>

===Assorted===
<gallery>
File:PrimarisBigBoy.png
File:Adeptus Astronimus.jpg
File:PrimarisLightyear.jpg|Primaris Marine of the Galactic Rangers chapter.
File:Primaris_comparison.png|Numarine, the carefree playboy, and Oldmarine, the grizzled vigilante. [[Batman|Have you ever seen them in the same art together?]]
File:Primaris vs chaos by theangrymarine-dccr2jv.png|The new kid always gets picked on.
</gallery>

{{Primaris Marine-Forces}}

Notable Adaptations

2019-08-30T11:35:25Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Warhammer 40k */

Let's hear it for adaptions of /tg/ related material into other media! They usually suck! Anyway, here are some of them, organized by line (and excluding spin-off books for sanity's sake):

(Before you ask: this is not approved media, as a lot of this is terrible. This is just stuff that's sufficiently /tg/ relevant that it might get brought up.)

==Dungeons & Dragons==
* '''Dungeons and Dragons The Animated Series'''. Explaining this one is probably a matter better left for another time.
* '''Dungeons and Dragons: The Movie''': More an adaption of somebody's campaign then anything worthy of the name.

===RPG Vidya===
* Gold Box games: The first adaption of D&D worthy of the name, the Gold Box games were essentially as much of D&D that could be fit into a single player CRPG at the time. Think "First person grid-based exploration plus top down, fairly good combat", and you have this series. Usually centered on the Forgotten Realms, although there was a trilogy of Dragonlance games.
* '''Eye of the Beholder''': First person [[Dungeon crawling|dungeon crawl]].
** '''Dungeon Hack''': Eye of the Beholder engine, turned into an early [[Roguelike|Roguelite]].
* '''[[Baldur's Gate (Games)|Baldur's Gate]]''': Need we say more?
* '''[[Planescape: Torment]]''': TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT PHILOSOPHY TEXT TEXT COMBAT TEXT TEXT PHILOSOPHY PHILOSOPHY TEXT TEXT TEXT.

===Non-RPG Vidya===
* '''Heroes of the Lance'''/'''Dragons of Flame''': Pure shit.
* '''Hilsfar''': It's not actually all that D&D, but it was made by very early Westwood (the guys who later made Command and Conquer and Dune II), so there's that.

==World of Darkness==
* '''Vampire: The Masquerade''' Live action TV show. Much derided, lasted only one season, not much more to say.
* '''Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines''': Buggy, but much beloved, adaption of V:TM.

==Warhammer Fantasy==
* '''[[The End Times: Vermintide]] & [[Vermintide 2]]''': Left4Skaven, with RPG elements.
* '''[[Total War: Warhammer]]''': Exactly what it says on the tin.

==Warhammer 40k==
* '''[[Dawn of War]]''': See article.
* '''[[Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine|Space Marine]]''': Gameplay is best described as "Gears of Warhammer".
* '''[[Space Hulk: Deathwing]]''': A Left 4 Dead style adaptation of the classic [[Space Hulk]]. Very rough at first, but got better over time.
* '''[[Battlefleet Gothic: Armada]] & [[Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II|Armada II]]''': An adaptation of [[Battlefleet Gothic]]; the sequel is notable for being one of the few games set post-Cicatrix Maledictum.

==MMORPGs==
Because reasons, we'll cover MMORPGs separately.

* '''Champions Online''': [[Champions]] setting MMORPG, by the guys what did "City of Heroes"
* '''Dungeons and Dragons Online''': Not great MMORPG by the guys what did "Asheron's Call", set in [[Eberron]].
* '''Neverwinter''': 4e DnD [[Forgotten Realms]] MMORPG, by the guys what did "City of Heroes" and "Champions Online".
* '''Vampire: The Masquerade''': Never released, but important to explaining the history of many White Wolf games. Was going to be made by the guys what did "EVE Online".

[[Category:Approved Media]]

Dungeon Meshi

2019-08-11T23:19:54Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Thorden Party */

{{cleanup}}
[[File:Dungeonmeshi_01.jpg|400px|thumb|right|Soup's on.]]
'''''Dungeon Meshi''''' (subtitled "Delicious in Dungeon" in Engrish) is a [[Manga|Japanese mango]] about a group of [[murderhobo]]s in a typical fantasy setting. It features an atypical but innovative premise: if your party is stuck underground and is starving to death, why not eat all those monsters you've been fighting? The story explores one such party learning dungeon crawler cuisine and bumbling their way through their quests.

Dungeon Meshi is most known on /tg/ for being a humorous manga with a nice set of characters, each with a variety of humorous reaction pictures. All in all, it's pretty good, and you should read it.

Also: Elves are a proud and noble race, [[PROMOTIONS|and they are not lewd.]]

==Plot==
After getting his sister devoured by a dragon and losing all their supplies in a failed dungeon raid, Laius and his party are determined to save his sister before she gets fully digested. Completely broke and having to resort to eating monsters as food, they meet a dwarf who will introduce them to the world of delicious cuisines made from ingredients such as the flesh of giant bats, walking mushroom, or even screaming mandrakes.

Reading on an empty stomach is not advised.

==Characters==
===Thorden Party===
A small group of lovable idiots, trying to get through the dungeon, rescue Farlyn, and eat a menagerie of monstrous creatures while they're at it. Despite their friendliness, Laius and Farlyn have suspicious reputations, meaning that other parties (such as Kabru's) are somewhat untrustworthy of them.
*Laius Thorden - The human [[Fighter]] of the group. He's always had a secret fascination with monstrous biology, and is the first to suggest that they try cooking monsters when they run out of money to buy food. His early curiosity slowly transforms over time into a somewhat distressing obsession. He is Farlyn's older brother.
*Marcille - The [[elf|elven]] [[Wizard]] specializing in black magic. She's the most reluctant to try eating monsters, even after several of the dishes they try turn out quite well. Laius and Senshi's obsessions disturb her, yet despite this, she's obsessed with ancient magic in the same way Laius is obsessed with monster food, which is why she's one of the few elves in the dungeon. Has fat ears, isn't lewd.
*Senshi - A mysterious [[dwarf]] who joins the group after discovering their interest in monster cuisine. He's been cooking monsters for 10 years and knows all the best preparations and nutritional value of most monsters they come across. Unlike your typical [[dwarf]] stereotype, he is not good with smithing nor does he take good care of his weapon and armor: he turned his mithril family heirloom weapons into a pair of woks and carries most of the cooking equipment.
*Chilchack - The group's halfling [[Thief]]. He's mostly there to pick locks and make money. Something of an only sane man. He hates mimics; as the one to open treasure chests, he's the one who usually gets killed by them. Also gets annoyed when people treat him like a child, as he’s got a family back home. Despite his antisocial behavior, he's a reliable ally.
*Farlyn - Laius' younger sister. As a child she showed a natural affinity for communicating with and banishing restless spirits. Eventually, she went to magic school, specializing in healing and purification magic and meeting Marcille. The first arc of the series chronicles their quest to rescue her from the belly of a red dragon. Turns out she still got dissolved by the dragon's stomach acid and had to be resurrected by Marcille's dark magic (which no one had expected she knew). It ended badly with the dungeon master controlling the newly resurrected Farlyn and turned her into a harpy like monster. Laius' solution is to [[wat|eat away the monster parts of her body]] and hope that it will remove the Mad Sorcerer's control over her.

====Ex-Thorden Party Members====
Otherwise known as goddamn quitters.
* Shuro - A [[Samurai]]-styled male human fighter. After the Red Dragon ate Farlyn, he quit the team and left Laius behind. Until he came back with his own party.
* Namari - Female dwarf, and quite infamous amongst most dwarves; her family used to serve the local governor, but her dad stole money from him and ran off, getting them kicked out and causing the governor to blame all dwarves. Like Shuro, she abandoned Laius' party after the Red Dragon ate Farlyn and nearly killed them all.

===Gnome Party===

===Kabru Party===
An adventurer party that is currently rising in the ranks and descending deeper into the dungeon. Initially rescued by Laius' party, a misunderstanding meant that they went deeper into the dungeon and continually fail challenges above their CR. Also known as the ''Scrub Party'' because they're not as experienced as Laius' party.
*Kabru - A dark-skinned human [[Fighter]]. He fights for the weak and the innocent, and seeks to conquer the dungeon so he can purge it before it corrupts the people and the land around it. He also thinks Laius' party is secretly Neutral Evil, and is determined to expose them. Being a paladin, he aggresively condemns the [[Murderhobo]] mentality, to the point of executing any murderhobos he meets. Apparently fear monsters due to a traumatic childhood experience where his town was attacked by [[beastmen]], which instantly making him inferior to the monster-obessessed hero Laius.
*Lynnsha - Oriental wizard and Kabru's sort-off girlfriend. Often accuses Kabru of hitting on women of all races, and so comes off as mildly xenophobic because every knife-ear is another woman that could steal her man. Apparently learned her magic from some other magical school than the Academy that Farlyn and Marcille went to.
*Daya - Female Dwarf. Has a bad impression of Laius' party because Namari was a part of it, and Namari's family has a bad reputation among dwarfs.
*Holme - A gnome spellcaster who can apparently "summon" something. That something turn out to be an udine, a type of water elemental. Also, know resurrection spells (although not really good at it).
*Mickbell - Halfling [[Rogue]] and Kuro's master. Unlike other adventurers, she advocates for right-to-work laws and refuses to join the adventurer's guild despite Chilchak trying to get all the halflings to join it and pay guild fees.
*Kuro - Dog-type [[Kobold]] [[Ranger]] who provides tracking services for the Kabru party. Kobolds are often discriminated against by civilized people because of their low intelligence, which makes Kuro's presence in the party all the more unusual. Is paid in head pats, belly rubs, and food, and arguing whether or not that's a fair days wages will, without exception, ignite a flame war. He is also a good boy.

===Shuro's Party===
Originally part of the Thorden party, Shuro (real name Toshiro Nakamoto (半本俊朗, Nakamoto Toshirō)) is a samurai nobleman from "the East". Although Laius initially considered Shuro a close friend, it is revealed that Shuro could not stand Laius' inability to grasp subtlety and straightforward nature. It is also revealed that while a part of Laius' original party, he developed intense romantic feelings for Farlyn, who he had planned to propose to before the incident with the Red Dragon. After the party's dissolution following the massacre, he returned home to form a rescue party of his own, made up of servants from his household. He has openly stated his distrust of Laius and his lack of support for Laius' party's current rescue attempts; however he has agreed to keep quiet about their endeavours for Farlyn's sake until he is able to rescue her himself.

His personal party consists of:

*Hien and Benichidori - A pair of ninja who are potentially sisters; they are able to move swiftly on battlefield using throwing weapons like bombs.
*Maizuru - Her appearance is very similar to a Noh performer or Miko with winglike robes. She was tasked by the master of the household to look after Shuro when he was young. Her shrine maiden outfit suggests that she is a magic user, and she has been revealed to be able to summon various yokai-like entities to do her bidding, as well as using talisman-style sealing spells. She also serves as the party's cook, specializing in Japanese-style dishes.
*Tade - An oni armed with a Japanese style iron club. She is incredibly strong and resistant to physical damage, but is also shown to be very sweet and childlike in temperament.
*Izutsumi (Asebi) - Ostensibly a ninja assassin, Izutsumi is a beastkin — a chimera created by the combination of human and nonhuman souls inhabiting a single vessel. She abandons Shuro's party in order to join up with the Thorden party in the hopes that Marcille will be able to separate her soul from the animal soul that gives her a catlike appearance. She has a childish and passionate attitude, is a picky eater, and has been observed to have terrible table manners. She is the first person who refuses to eat part of Senshi's cooking.

Shuro and the other members of his party have temporarily left the dungeon with Kabru's party, though Shuro intends to return.

==Fantastic Beasts and how to eat them==
* Scorpion: A typical scorp. It's got claws and a tail, regular scorp stuff. When preparing, remove the legs, guts and tail, as they taste bad. Cutting into scores helps the heat travel better.
* Trotting Mushroom: Primary prey consists of overconfident eight year olds. To eat, cut off the butt and outer layers. The legs are fine to eat, though. Cutting vertically is the best way to slice them, it seems
* Slime: A Drops onto people right after they exhale, drowning them. Difficult to remove without tools. Tastes good dried.
* Man eating plants: Some strangle you, some digest you, some lay seeds in your skin. Nasty. Tends to grow well in walls with space in them, that is, areas with traps. This makes the traps even more dangerous since you'll be dealing with unreliable, broken mechanism along with paralyzing plants. Can be eaten with vinegar.
* Basilisk: A chicken with a snake tail (or a snake with a cicken tail? Forbidden knowledge~) Can be spooked by things that look bigger than it. And don't run away with your back turned, it'll kick the shit out've ya. Also have lethal venom in their bite.
* Mandrakes: Well known for making elves scream at ear shattering volumes. Their regular scream is also deadly, but it can be safely plucked by a) murdering dogs, b) having long ropes, or c) stabbing it quick enough. Replacing the dog option with a big bat is unrecommended.
* Animated armour: Are actually mollusks (forbidden knowledge) that exist between the metal armour and a thin internal shell. They try to protect their eggs like all living creatures. Cannot be trusted inside swords. Boiling or steaming the armor makes them easier to remove and eat.
* Golems: are little magic totems inside mounds of clay or other substances. Can be used to grow their own crops.
* Orcs: are sentient demi-humans so please don't eat them. They are rather violent, and are rather grumpy too.
* Treasure insects: A sign that the DM very clearly hates all of you. Bugs that take the form of valuble items, can be boiled and skewered.
* Ghosts: Spooky
* Mimics: According to Chilchack, the worst thing in the entire world. Giant crabs that choose the sneakiest places to hide, so that they may jump out and ruin the day of whoever comes near to their hiding place. You can cook it just like any other sort of crab.
* Kelpies: Horses with mermaid tails. Might act charming, but have nothing but evil in their hearts after even years of friendly encounters.
* Giant Squids: Fairly self-explanatory.
* Mermaids: Come in "tempting siren" mammalian variety and "Oh god, kill it" piscene variety. Both are dangerous.
* Squid parasites: Also have parasites in them. Which also have parasites...
* Undine: Highly dangerous water spirits that blast people with high-pressure water. Basically concentrated mana so if you manage to catch one, can be boiled alive and made into soup for convenient mana refill.
* Giant Frogs: Giant frogs with giant tongues for snatching weapons off your hands. Their skin is resistant to paralyzing effects of plants in dungeon, so chances are you'll meet these together.
* Dragons: They are dragons, what do you expect? Really hard to kill even for full, experienced parties. Eats everything that's meat, from adventurers to wolves.
* Cockatrices: Similar to basilisks but bigger, meaner and nastier. Their venom petrifies you, from which you can recover naturally... as long as none of your petrified body parts snap off.
* Dryads: Gendered plants, females look like human women, with males being basically pumpkins with human faces. Only females put up a fight and cutting one results in outburst of pollen which's ingestion causes heavy allergic reactions. Grow from fruits which are edible.
* Shapeshifters: Generally refers to all monsters that change shape, but the ones that seem to take shape of party members are actually illusions caused by mind-reading beast that creates images based on thoughts of other members of the party.
* Nightmares: Small monsters that give you nightmares and feed on your emotions if you sleep close to them, usually this happens when they hide in your pillow. Despite looking like clams, they're apparently dragons(?). After being discovered they can't really do much, so feel free to steam them alive.
* Ice Golems: These appear if a magic totem used for creation of golems ends up in water that freezes, and then gets activated with magic circle. Basically, all of this coming together would require one hell of a coincidence so you really don't have to worry about ever seeing one.
* Barometz: Sheep that grow from plants, harmless by themself but regularly preyed on by wolves and other carnivores, so it's best not to stick to places where they grow for too long. Tastes like crab.
* Griffins: You should know what griffin are.
* Hippogriffs: As seen in Harry Potter! They do resemble griffins, but have lower body that resembles a horse. They are also herbivorous, and have distinct taste.
* Changelings: Contrary to popular belief, changelings are not creatures in and of themselves, but the result of a creature stepping into a ring of magic mushrooms. Useful if you wanted to turn your griffon meat into hippogriff meat for whatever reason, or if you're feeling bored with the dumplings you have, you can just change your pot-stickers into ravioli, or your baozi into perogies. Just avoid direct contact.

[[Category:Weeaboo]]

Isekai

2019-08-11T22:59:01Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28:

{{topquote|1=Hey guys, today I wanted to talk about the newest, hottest anime to come out this season. All right, get this: It's about a completely normal shut-in Otaku with a very specific skill set that makes him useless in the real world, who is suddenly transported to a fantasy world kinda similar to any JRPG you've ever seen where he suddenly becomes the hottest shit, and he has two jobs: Messing up any poor soul who looks at him the wrong way and getting some 2D bitches. Wait, doesn't this sound oddly familiar?|2=Gigguk, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFR2nvw19h4 "Isekai: The Genre that Took Over Anime"]}}

Proof that Japan has no publishing standards or quality control. '''Isekai''' is a Japanese word assimilated into the /tg/ lexicon from the [[weeaboo]] faggots at /a/ and /jp/. Literally meaning "another world" or "parallel world", it refers to a genre in which the main characters are from "our" world and taken to a foreign world resembling [[RPG|some form of fantasy game]], where they proceed to become [[adventurers]]. Usually, plot reasons prevent them from heading home until something is taken care of - typically whatever big bad evil guy is threatening everything - but sometimes they're stuck there forever and have to adapt as best they can. Methods of transportation are vast and varied, including but not limited to: stumbling into a portal, activating a magical McGuffin, getting run over by [[Meme|Truck-kun]] and reincarnated (''Tensei'' in weeb, a genre isekai ate), being summoned by the denizens of the world, or the ever-popular getting your brain downloaded into your favorite [[MMORPG]].

The term (and to a lesser extent the genre) have been kicking around the weeaboosphere for a while, but around 2015 publishers started flooding the market with insufferably awful series (with insufferably long titles) that sell both in Japan and internationally like hotcakes, no matter how bland and generic they get. This once again proves that no matter which side of the planet you're on, otaku are autistic retards with no taste. As of 2018 this seems to be tapering off; Kadokawa has banned isekai stories from their light novel competitions, and fewer and fewer isekai light novels get adapted into anime each season, and parodies are becoming more and more common, leaving it only a matter of time before the genre hits [[Zombie|"even the parodies are stale" levels of played out.]]

==Why do people hate it so much?==

As noted below, stories of people entering other worlds are nothing new, and speaks to a common desire to experience strange and exotic lands. Yet Isekais still get a lot of flak for many reasons. Besides there being way too many anime/manga that are all basically the same story with slightly different premises, it boils down to a number of common gripes:

* The biggest one is that rather than trying to tell a compelling and interesting story, too many Isekai stories are just the basest wish fulfillment fantasies for the lonely basement-dwelling neckbeard. Most of the other complaints are derived from this one.
* The hallmark of isekai stories is the definition of the world in terms of RPG mechanics; people in isekai worlds speak of levels, classes, and experience as real and tangible things as opposed to the mechanical abstractions fa/tg/uys normally recognize them as. Outside of Isekai stories that actually take place inside of RPGs, this is pretty much inexcusable.
* Isekai protagonists tend to be [[Neckbeard|big fucking nerds]] who immediately recognize this and exploit it, often aided by [[Plot armor|unreasonably high stats relative to their abilities in real life.]] The unstated implication is that the overweight slimeball watching/reading the isekai story would be just as successful as the protagonist because of his [[Trivial Pursuit|valuable and hard-earned RPG knowledge]].
* The protagonist frequently is overpowered in a way that puts him way ahead of his peers, despite lacking any useful combat, intellectual, or even social skills from his homeworld. Rarely does the protagonist have to put that much effort in overcoming his obstacles.
* Even more offensive protagonists will be actively unlikable or even outright repulsive, despite not suffering any consequences for it.
* And on top of that, 99.9% of the time, the protaganist has an all-female <s>harem</s> party who hang on his every word. [[Mary Sue|Is this starting to sound familiar?]]
* For more Isekai-specific gripes, while many stories are just copycats of one another, some will ''attempt'' to put an "original spin" on the genre, usually by adding a gimmick. If done well, then the story still has some value in being interesting and explore otherwise ignored facets of an overused genre. Done poorly, and it comes across as just plain tiresome, especially if the gimmick is the only thing keeping the story afloat when the characters and plot fail to impress.

== Isekai and /tg/ ==

Although most isekai stories get panned on /tg/ for [[TVTropes|annoying meta-humor,]] [[Double Cross|generic shonen bullshit,]] [[Maid RPG|generic fanservice bullshit,]] or [[Extra Heresy|a combination thereof]] (if not the characters being blatantly Mary Sues, or presenting something even more absurd), a handful of series are decent enough to merit genuine approval. Or they're tolerated because they have [[monstergirls]]. Check our [[Approved anime|anime]] and [[manga]] pages for the current scoop.

While isekai is a distinctly Japanese form of cancer, the basic idea of people from our world getting chucked into a fantastic world and forced to fend for themselves is practically universal and turns up moderately often in Western fantasy with the earliest example perhaps being ''"A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court"'' by Mark Twain which was published in 1889. Oddly, when this happens it tends to be rather less shit perhaps due to it being less common. L. Frank Baum's ''Oz'' series, ''Alice's Adventures in Wonderland'' by Lewis Carroll, and Edgar Rice Burroughs' ''Barsoom'' novels are iconic examples of the core premise that predate cliche fantasy, and C.S. Lewis ''The Chronicles of Narnia'' uses the plot for Christian allegory. ''The NeverEnding Story'' is the flagship modern western example, and right in the heart of the fantasy cliche storm; Yet it is the purest anti-shit, either despite or because of this. Or at least, it avoids being the self-indulgent wish-fulfillment for irredeemably unlikable losers that makes Isekai so widely hated. One could make the case that ''The Matrix'' is an isekai story (it basically reverses a couple of the key tropes), though classifying it as "less shit" may not be accurate for some people. A /tg/ example that (in hindsight anyway) fits the isekai mold well is [[GURPS]]' flagship fantasy setting, which revolves around people from across the universe getting isekai'd to the planet of Yrth by an extradimensional "Banestorm" and proposes that players could [[Stat me|stat themselves]] and then play as themselves on Yrth after getting deposited there by the Banestorm.

Isekai also has its influence on [[Old School Roleplaying]]; as stated above, there are plenty of pulp fantasy novels involving ordinary souls getting sucked into a strange, alien world and becoming heroic [[adventurer]]s as a result. Hell, [[Greyhawk]] has several deities who actually originated on other worlds - [[Murlynd]], [[Saint Cuthbert]] and [[Mayaheine‎‎]] have all been implied to have come to Oerth from "real" Earth - whilst the [[Forgotten Realms]] was, once upon a time, hinted as being connected to Earth by various portals to different times and places; the not!Egyptian race was actually supposed to be peopled by real ancient Egyptians who had been summoned to the Realms en-masse by evil sorcerers as slave labor, only to break free of them. Then there's the [[D%26D_Cartoon|D&D Cartoon]], whose plot ''was'' D&D by way of Isekai. That being said, unless your DM was being really lazy, if you tried to talk in-universe about stats or levels or other meta game content like they do in Isekai stories, NPCs would and should treat you like a madman.

==Reverse Isekai==
Occasionally, reverse isekai plots, where supernatural elements from other dimensions have invaded the "real" world, have appeared in /tg/. [[D20 Modern]]'s default for supernatural entities is that they a dropped onto Earth from another plane, "The Shadow", and can't go home (though their corpses vanish upon death). The [[Adventure Path]] ''Reign of Winter'' has a trip to World War I era Russia where the party fights Mosin-Nagant and machine gun wielding Russian soldiers, tear gas elementals and Rasputin.

One odd feature in Japanese Reverse-Isekais is an emphasis on how Japanese food is so much more awesome than whatever bland, flavorless food the peasants of the fantasy world have to eat. In fact, there actually is more than one anime about people from a fantasy world visiting a restaurant in modern Japan. Which in fairness: the modern world wide food distribution networks that can ship sun ripened lemons and meat to any point in the world within 24 hours is likely going to compare favorable to all but the highest fantasy fare. Even so, even the lowliest peasant would put ''some'' effort in using what they had to make food taste good; even if they couldn't afford spices, herbs were still easy enough to get a hold of, and rural cooks knew enough about how to prepare meats to make them taste good. Whereas fantasy peasants may as well be eating dry, stringy meat with a side of boiled, unseasoned vegetables and mud for dessert.

[[Category: Gamer Slang]]
[[Category: Weeaboo]]

Ollanius Pius

2019-07-22T02:35:35Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Religion */

{{Oldschool}}
[[Image:1225596941657.jpg|300px|thumb|right|The most hardcore Guardsman....ever.]]
{{Topquote|Where I fall, ten more shall take my place! And one hundred each of them! So strike me down! I am the harbinger!|Ollanius Pius, an Imperial Guardsman, to the Warmaster and Primarch, Horus "supercharged motherfucking avatar of Chaos" Lupercal. Yes, you read that correctly.}}

'''Ollanius Pius''' embodies what it means to be a soldier of the [[Imperial Guard]] in this [[Grimdark|grimdark]] universe. He is THE most hardcore Guardsman ever and also the legendary saint of the Imperial Guard, because as legend goes, in the hopes of protecting the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor of Mankind]], Ollanius Pius put himself directly in front of [[Horus Lupercal|a walking demigod of battle]]. The fact that he did so without fainting, shitting himself in terror, or mewling like a wounded grox suggests that his testicles must have been forged from Mars-grade adamantium (or more likely, he had power balls. His testicles were of such might that they ignored armor saves in close combat and could themselves be used as weapons). Ollanius Pius is so manly that he makes [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs]], [[Commissar Yarrick]], [[Gregor Eisenhorn]], [[Ciaphas Cain]], [[Kharn]], [[Colonel "Iron Hand" Straken]], [[Logan Grimnar]], [[Merrick]], [[Gunnery Sergeant "Stonetooth" Harker|Harker]], [[Creed]] and [[Sly Marbo]] piss themselves in terror. Well, maybe not [[Sly Marbo]] but he still respects the shit out of him.

Naturally, like a bunch of [[Squats|awesome]] [[Zoats|shit]] and virtually every piece of lore that has ever existed in Warhammer 40,000, [[Games Workshop]] retconned this story in several ways. Firstly his introduction is a bit of a retcon, since Ollanius wasn't in the original battle (read the Slaves to Darkness book) where the Emperor teleported to Horus' bunker (not flagship) and fought him there. Then when he was introduced, he was said to have originally sacrificed himself during Horus' assault on the Imperial Palace, placing himself between the Emperor and Horus (which would mean in that version Horus broke through), which makes sense, so they had to change it. The next story the Emperor fought Horus in Horus' command bunker again, teleporting in with [[Imperial Fists]] and Custodes, and while having a bunker on the ground makes it entirely possible that Pius was there (especially since the traitor legions were busy at the palace walls) it's fairly unlikely. Then they changed it again, this time having Emps board Horus' flagship, the Vengeful Spirit, along with a company of Imperial Fist terminators and Custodes, no Pius this time due to the fact that a Guardsmen would probably die the second they arrive there. At no point from here on out is Ollanius ever mentioned to have boarded the [[Vengeful Spirit]], though the idea of a heroic sacrifice was kept, GW replaced Pius with a [[Space Marine|Spehss Mahreen]] [[Terminator]], which wasn't that bad but then they retconned out the Terminator with an [[Adeptus Custodes]], which is SIX KINDS OF LAME.

[[Fantasy Flight Games]] brought him back though (sort of, leaving his existence in current canon questionable at best), which is a great justice and if you trust them, he really is just the most badass Guardsman ever, though exactly what he did isn't too clear besides die for the Emperor. But, NOW, thanks to [[Dan Abnett]], if GW ever returns Ollanius to his place at the Emperor's side, that's no big deal. He'll just be over 10,000 years old. Still a normal human, but just one that regenerates and has lived a long time. So...following the trend, there is a risk that he will be added back in the universe as the one who made the chip in Horus's armor and not [[Sanguinius]], and thus completely ruin the original story.

Other than the fact that he was man enough to stand up to Daddy's former favourite with nothing more than a flashlight and toilet paper armour, not much else is known about him, which probably means that he did even more heroic and manly shit during the Siege of Terra.

The entire point of the character is to demonstrate that [[The Lord of the Rings|true courage and inner strength can be found even among the weakest (by comparison) of individuals]]. (Also, see "Tank Man" [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tank_Man]). Games Workshop, in their infinite wisdom, completely missed this point and proceeded to replace the brave and ordinary little soldier with a progressively bigger and stronger superhero with every reveal/retcon (although, see below for a different take on his [[Perpetual|perepetuality]] and it's implications in his final act of heroism.) This, in a way, makes Horus' fall to Chaos seem less and less despicable; the original story of a superhuman so remorselessly killing an ordinary human could be seen in a similar light as a grown man killing a child. It is probably a near certainty that the next retcon will trade up the Custode for one of the missing Primarchs (such as the glorious and magnificent Ollanius [[Galactic Partridges|Partridge]]) or a fucking omnipresent [[Imperial Knight]]. Further updates will likely add the Terminator, the Custode, the second missing Primarch and an Imperial [[Titan (Warhammer 40,000)|Titan]] for good measure, all at the same time.

However, in the Visions Of Heresy Novel, the humble Imperial Guardsman is back with his heroic act of sacrifice, though it is not stated whether his name was Ollanius Pius. Probably because there was no need to, since everyone already knew his name in the fandom.

He also has a relic in the latest 6th Edition Astra Militarum/Imperial Guard codex, with the fluff saying he martyred himself against Horus and is the epitome of Imperial Sainthood, as does a similar relic in the 8th Edition Astra Militarum Codex. The [[Dark Heresy]] ''Blood of Martyrs'' splat mentions him there, saying the story of Pius is apocryphal (bringing up that other organizations have their own version of the tale) but still frequently told and he is widely venerated among Guardsmen as an exemplar of what a faithful Guardsman should be. So the Imperial Guard apparently canonically believes the original version of the tale, whether or not that's what actually happened. And at this point, nobody knows what actually happened and never will because GeeDubs refuses to enforce any kind of consistency in its own fluff (see below).

==New Fluff==
[[Image:Ollanius Pius.jpeg|thumb|right|Oll Pius returns, "better" than ever. Note the cross around his neck.]]
Also known as "Why the Black Library should not be allowed to write or sell anything".

In Dan Abnett's Horus Heresy novel "Know No Fear" Ollanius Pius' lore has changed dramatically. In the book he is named "Ollanius Perrson" (or "Oll" to his friends) and is part of a small group of immortal humans spread throughout the galaxy called [[Perpetual]]s. John Grammaticus (who is alive and well) claimed that out of the entire Ultramarine empire (which at the time consisted of a staggering 500 planets) there are only three Perpetuals (the total amount in the Imperium is unknown, but almost certainly not much higher). Pius estimates his date of birth at some point around 15,000 BC (by contrast, the Emperor claims he was born in roughly 8,000 BC- which would make Pius no less than '''7,000 years older than the Emperor'''), and is the same "breed" as Grammaticus and possibly the Emperor. At first this sounds like GW is missing the point again, but besides his extreme age and the whole immortality thing he seems to just be a normal human with normal human strength (coupled with the fact that, by all indications, he hasn't died once so far). Which, when compared to the psychic gestalt übermensch that is the Emperor, is kind of important; Ollanius is more representative of every strength (and weakness) of Mankind than the Emperor EVER was.

===The Eternal Infantryman===
In the days of ancient [[Terra]] he was one of the Argonauts who adventured with Jason on the Argo to get the Golden Fleece and later he learned how to fight with a bayonet whilst fighting for the French in the trenches at Verdun during World War I. (Note that "Ole Persson" is the obvious pun, but in idiomatic French, "Olivier Personne" means "Oliver Nobody," which has interesting implications in and of itself.) Interestingly, Ollanius seems to be a sort of "eternal soldier" (he is also confirmed as having fought in the armies of [[Awesome|Napoleon]] and [[Heresy|Saddam Hussein]]), but always is depicted as being a part of the "[[Imperial Guard|poor bloody Infantry]]", in direct opposition to ''another'' perpetual, [[The Emperor|big E]] himself, who is spoken of as having taken on the roles of various august and well known historical personages, or at least being close to positions of power throughout history. There is also an implication that Ollanius always or at least usually fought on the losing side, which is also an interesting extension to this parallel. This makes him a sort of representative of the eternal ordinary everyman; unlike almost every other perpetual, he ''doesn't'' have superpowers (except the neat trick of not dying), and lives ordinary lives, again and again (as the Emperor says to him in the exchange quoted above.) He is a regular guy who is sort of actually ''condemned'' to keep on living these lives, often in hellish conditions (from Verdun to the Warp, and it's implied that some of the magical/mythical stuff in his adventures with the Argonauts was real, i.e., warp fuckery.) He sort of in fact resembles the "wandering Jew" of medieval legend, condemned to never settle down but live one life of war after another (the war bit isn't part of the ''juif errant'' legend, but the general theme seems to fit), until finally, at the end of days, he can redeem himself (in the battle of Terra.) This is more in line with the original spirit of the "legend of Ollanius Pius," and is a counter-argument to the more common view that he is becoming an OP [[Mary Sue]] instead of a representative of ordinary human strength and courage, the ultimate manifestation of which is seen in his actions aboard the ''Vengeful Spirit''.

We sometimes see glimpses of his soldiering past. In ''Unmarked'', another [[Dan Abnett|Abnett]] work (a short story in the anthology ''Mark of Calth''), he travels through time to various battles he fought in while evading the daemon prince [[M'kar]]. In ''Angel Exterminatus'', where an [[Iron Warriors]] Trident [[Warsmith]] Kroeger has a flashback (sort of, the memories were the memories of other people) and relives the near-death of "Carl", a German soldier at the hands of one "Olivier Perrson." Carl thought Ol was very rude because he interrupted Carl's dinner. Yes, poor Carl's dinner. Oll happened upon Carl eating . . . Carl's own commander. Oh yeah, Carl was a closet cannibal. Still, Carl thought it was a bit of an overreaction by an overly Pius asshole to stab Carl in the gut. Carl was only saved from a certain death when the crush of the battle forces Oll out of the trench.

We don't get it either but a vision given to Ollanius by Grammaticus indicates that he'll be restored to his original status as the person who sacrifices his life to save the Emperor from Horus, so at least he's back. Of course, whether he actually dies when this happens given the Perpetuals' ability to resurrect themselves upon death is anyone's guess. The confrontation with Horus might be "true death" for him, though, as in ''Unmarked'', he gets the distinct feeling that the [[Horus Heresy|current galactic clusterfuck]] might going to be the end for him. This might even make sense, given that he was killed by not only a primarch, but Horus supercharged by the energies of all four of the Ruinous Powers during an apocalyptic confrontation which outright killed another Primarch and put the most powerful being ever to emerge out of humanity in a near-death state. Get hit by what did ''that'', you're probably not going to get up, and immortality won't help you if your soul is snuffed out by one of the most powerful material manifestations of Chaos ever.

If he did regenerate, he'd probably wake up on the Vengeful Spirit unless his body was moved-Perpetuals don't teleport when they die, they just heal and wake up. This might wind up being a far, far worse end than having his soul shredded (see over on the page for [[Perpetual]] where we say that they've drawn the short straw? Here's an example of why...) Needless to say, being trapped in the bowels of a chaos-infested warship would not be good for him (assuming he can even get off the bridge before [[Abaddon|Abby]] or one of his guards [[BLAM|shoots him]].)

Also in ''Unmarked'', Ollanius briefly hooks up with John Grammaticus, another perpetual (although far more of a [[Eldrad|dick]], and unlike Oll, apparently turned into a perpetual by the Cabal rather than being born one.) You know, the guy who is actually with the Cabal, going along with their "Alpharius gambit" to destroy humanity but wipe out Chaos, but who is at some point persuaded by [[Eldrad|Eldrad Uthan]] to turn rogue ''against'' the Cabal, since in a rare moment of non-dickery, Eldrad decided that wiping out humanity might ''not be'' the best idea, giving John the final push after long having some scruples about aiding in the genocide of his own race for, among others, arrogant space elves and a sentient floating ball of gas.

===Religion===
Befitting his epithet, he is, indeed, a pious man. He is, in fact, a believing "Catheric," which is apparently a bastardization of "Catholic." Exceedingly rare in the rabidly atheistic Imperium, although not unique in the Heresy Era (Hurtado Bronzi in ''Legion'', also by [[Dan Abnett]], identifies himself as "Catheric by devotion.") He even wears a cross around his neck which conceivably could get him into trouble. ''Practicing'' the major aspects his faith (five of the seven sacraments require a priest) would be difficult, as what happened to the Pope and Church hierarchy we don't know (although it's probably pretty grimdark.) According to real-world Catholic belief, there ''would'' be a Pope somewhere: Matthew xvi, 18. The church in Graham McNeal's ''[[The Last Church]]'' wasn't Catholic, although it's sort of implied that it is a bastardized form of Christianity which drifted in it's beliefs over 30 millenia ... which isn't that surprising from the perspective of the sociology of religion. If it was really, however, the literal last church on Terra, and the real-world Catholic view is true, somewhere in some corner of the Imperium there is a man who is the Pope and the Church still exists (picking up sticks and moving probably would have been wise anyway.) Several sci-fi writers have speculated about this sort of thing: ''A Canticle for Leibowitz'' by Walter Miller, considered a classic, has the Catholic church surviving several end-of-the-world [[techno-barbarian]] type scenarios, preserving civilization, and enduring over many millenia, eventually spreading beyond [[Terra|Earth]].

Despite the Emperor hating religion, Ollanius was still doing the right thing by the tenants of his by-then-ancient faith explicitly says that soldiers should obey orders and people should respect their governments and leaders in general (cf. Romans xiv, 3ff., referring to the ''Emperor'' of the time ... ''plus ça change'', no?), ''except'' of course if it involved breaking the precepts of his religion (this was a real dilemma for Roman soldiers up until the 4th century or so, because they had to [[Imperial Cult|worship the emperor]]) ... but this was not such a problem for Ollie, he was a faithful Imperial citizen and, while the Imperium forbade religiosity, it did not (at the time of the Horus Heresy, which is when we last hear of him) require him to [[heresy|worship other Gods]] or such, even though such beliefs were proscribed by the Imperium (which again, resembles certain periods in Church history.)

Despite the prohibition on religion, he seemed to live his faith reasonably openly and at best be regarded as a bit of an eccentric for it: again, not all that different from certain eras of the Roman history in the 2nd and 3rd centuries-it depended on who was on the [[Golden Throne|imperial throne]] just how vigorously Christians were persecuted: sometimes it was an [[Exterminatus|all-day buffet for lions]] and sometimes Christianity was looked at as at best a strange affectation certain people indulged in (perhaps not entirely unlike we look at non-mainstream religions today.) In fact, Ancient Rome, very unlike the 30K Imperium, would've had no problem with Christians at all if they didn't [[heresy|refuse to]] [[Lorgar|worship the Emperor]]. You know, what [[Monarchia]] got glassed for. In the 40K Imperium, the Ecclesiarchy would've probably been pretty cool with Christianity if the [[Emperor]] was ultimately seen as God (which would make Sanguinius Jesus? Except for the resurrection part. [[Sanguinor|Unless...]]) Which the Church would ''not'' be cool with. So Ollanius being "Catheric" would be a problem for him either way. And probably at several other points in his life (maybe in the Iraqi army, for example. And one assumes at several points over the next 30,000 years or so.) And, obviously, he wasn't a Christian for the first 15,000 years of his life. It's very possible that he was a Roman soldier in the first or second century and found his eventual faith there (yes, Christianity was pretty popular, relatively speaking, in the Roman Army. There's a whole category of "military saints," one of whom was [[St. George]] but apparently ''that'' was the [[emprah]], if you believe everything you read in the Horus Heresy books. Never mind that the dragon thing wasn't why he was a saint and was an extra legend that got added on to the story of a real dude, pretty high up in the [[Adeptus Custodes|praetorians]], who was martyred for his faith.)

There is another fan theory that it refers to the "Cathars," an IRL [[extra heresy|heretical]] religious sect (with some [[Slaanesh]]i stuff going down in their rituals, if some of the more dramatic surviving reports are accurate) that the IRL [[Inquisition]] IRL [[Exterminatus|exterminatused]] in the 13th century. This is a clever play on words, but probably reads too much into it, but doesn't make any historical sense and doesn't really line up with the vague hints at "Cathericism" we get in the books. Plus the cross he wears around his neck is more similar to the Celtic cross than the Cathar cross, so there's another reason to consider.

==Writefaggotry==
WARNING: The following entry is so manly that reading it out loud may cause you to suddenly grow a beard. Girls, do not read this out loud. A fa/tg/uy's explanation of the original Ollanius:

''LOOK AT THIS FUCKING GUARDSMAN.''

''He's spent months fighting a grueling war in which his enemies are demigods allied with daemons, and now he's found himself in the closest thing to Hell he's ever known. He probably wasn't even supposed to get teleported up to the arch-traitor's battle barge in the first place, and just ended up in the wrong place at the worst possible time.

''Somehow he's survived horrors beyond comprehension to make his way to the very bridge of Horus' flagship. He saw a veritable angel call upon Horus to answer for his crimes, and he saw that angel die as messily as any guardsman. His Emperor - who he fervently believes is a god incarnate, even if he's not supposed to - lies mortally wounded, and Horus, perhaps, has taken a moment to gloat before he strikes the killing blow.''

''His armor is slightly more effective than tissue paper, his weapon slightly more powerful than a flashlight. A single electrified claw from Horus' weapon is bigger than his entire body. He stands before a being infused by the dark gods with incalculable power, that can and will obliterate his soul with no more effort than it would take him to swat a gnat. Nothing he can do could possibly make a difference.''

''He could run. He could turn his weapon on himself. He could give in to the insidious whispers that echo from the ship's corridors into his mind.''

''Ollanius Pius does the duty his Emperor requires of him. He dies standing and <b>holds the '''FUCKING''' line.</b>''

===A short poem about Ollanius Pius===
[[File:The Last Stand 1.png|400px|thumb|right|HE BOUGHT THE EMPEROR TIME... TIME TO SAVE US ALL.]]
The first time I hold my blood in my hands,
<br>The first time I see a man with nothing.
<br>Would be the first time I see my own lands,
<br>Covered in heresy, death, and rotting.

<br>My son stands over him corrupt and pale,
<br>A guard Ollanius Pius stands free.
<br>My fallen Horus lifts the deadly flail,
<br>In one instant, the strength of man I see.

<br>This mere man done what I was unable.
<br>A tear flows from my eye and it is clear,
<br>The tyrant's cold reign I must disable.
<br>Briefly I know what it means to feel fear.

<br>I leave the future to the strength of man,
<br>For they alone do far more than I can.

===Another poem regarding Ollanius===
Somewhere in the universe a coin flip lands on its side.

Somewhere in the universe a drop of water saves a life.

Somewhere in the universe a pebble stops a landslide.

Maybe it is because someone believed hard enough.

Maybe it is because everything is secretly fair.

Maybe it is because the universe is a vast place.

Yesterday, I was very cold.

Yesterday, I was very hungry.

Yesterday, I wanted to run away.

Today, I am going to believe hard enough.

Today, a pebble will stop a landslide.

Today, I am not going anywhere.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Kriegsmeisterbunker.jpg|The first version of Horus and the Emperor's duel. Notice the location, making Pius' sacrifice possible, if implausible.
The legend of Ollanius Pius.jpg|The legend.
MUH OLLANIUS PIUS.png|The retcon.
Ollanius existed and was a Perpetual.png|Fantasy Flight Games' take on it.
</gallery>

{{IG-Characters}}

[[Category:Awesome]]

Jetbike

2019-07-20T04:24:35Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Star Wars */

Jetbikes are freaking sweet rides that any fan of sci-fi will know and imagine owning one day. They fly so no fear of getting a flat tire or getting bogged down need trouble the enthusiastic soon to be dead nujack pilot (what with probably hitting an unseen protruding object below that catches and flips you onto your poor vulnerable skull or running right into an object a la Imperial Bike Scouts in Return of the Jedi.) They often have sweet weaponry that you can fire as you streak towards your enemy, meaning that between your firepower and speed you will often outdo them easily. And like the [[Eldar]] of [[Saim-Hann]] and the [[Ork]] Speed Freakz, you can get that rush from going really, REALLY fast.

==Eldar Jetbikes==
[[File:SHJetbike.jpg|300px|thumbnail|left|Warning. Always in large numbers. Even bigger if [[Saim-Hann]].]]
As you should know, the damned [[Eldar|knife-ears]] are the only faction other than the [[Necrons]] to field Jetbikes en masse. Possibly because it is due to the fact that unlike [[Imperium of Man|some other people]] they actually try to preserve and use their technology to best of their expertise. They are used by not only Craftworld Elfdar but also the [[Harlequins]] and even the [[Dark Eldar]] (Albeit at lesser quantities and amounts to the point it is not even in their armory). These sleek and elegant craft, capable of high speeds and extreme maneuverability, are testament to the Eldar's mastery of anti-gravitic technology, much to the amazement and [[Butthurt|jealousy]] of the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]]. On the battlefield they are commonly used as skirmishers, scouts, and fast-response units.

Contained within the body of these Jetbike are powerful anti-gravitic motors, allowing the craft to attain such great velocity that without an Eldar's enhanced reaction speed it would be lethal to ride, so for all you [[Imperial Guard|Guardsmen]] out there who will try to sneak up on one and do a wheelie. [[FATAL|Please don't.]] Through subtle manipulation these motors can also send the bike into a steep climb or sharp dive, though its shape naturally inclines it towards level or upward flight. Long, curved vanes on either side of the bike allow for incredibly sharp mid-air turns. Like most Eldar technology the Jetbike is mentally attuned to the natural psychic abilities of the Eldar so even if you were to ride one without getting your ribs crushed by '''XTREME!''' g-force, if you aren't a [[Psyker]] then consider it a dud. Anyways, these psychic mumbo-jumbo works via small patches of psychotropic crystals, within the bike's handlebars and the rider's gauntlets, allowing the rider to control the craft through mental commands. For an Eldar to master the Jetbike is an exhilarating challenge that can take years of practice to reach their full potential, but those who do are said to build a rapport with their steeds comparable to the horsemasters of legend.

Jetbike armament consists of twin-linked Shuriken Catapults, although special craft known as Shrieker Jetbikes instead mount a single Shuriken Cannon. Jetbikes are most commonly used by Guardian Jetbike Squadrons for a number of battlefield duties, particularly the Wild Riders of [[Saim-Hann]]. The only known Aspect Shrine dedicated to the Jetbike are the [[Shining Spears]], a rare group found on only a few Craftworlds, but they are so in tune with their steeds that they can perform complex maneuvers with but a single gesture. As well, many war-leaders of the Eldar are also known to ride into battle on Jetbikes, including [[Farseer|Farseers,]] [[Warlock (Eldar)|Warlocks]] and [[Autarch|Autarchs.]]

==Imperial Jetbikes==
[[File:Imperial Jetbikes WOOOOOHH!.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Unfortunately due to a [[Dark Angel|certain chapter]] and a [[Adeptus Mechanicus|certain adept]], the glorious remaining Jetbikes has been hidden deep inside the vault doors of secrets. Just don't tell the [[Blood Ravens]] [[Looted|about this.]]]]
As with everything cool and deciding humanity needs to be fucked from every angle possible, [[GW]] has decided the [[Imperium]] doesn't need Jetbikes and has thus made it a lost technology to the Imperium, dumping your proud marines back onto tired (pun intended) old bikes.

Boo!

To rub grimsalt in the wound, GW has done two things. First of all the pesky Eldar have access to Jetbike/Jetbike-like rides, so they can fly around blowing raspberries at you. (I guess Marines do get land speeders but that is like a car to the motorbike that is the Jetbikes. Instantly not as trendy). So if the enemies of the Imperium having it wasn't even, there is the second thing. During the [[Great Crusade]] the Imperium DID have Jetbikes. Only in small numbers but growing and the [[Legiones Astartes]] used them as dedicated fast response units and to pick up chicks (check out this motor baby!).

But the Imperium is ridiculous at keeping back-up copies of all its technical data and they just....forgot or lost the means to make Jetbikes, a gross example of the [[fail|failure]] that has continued to haunt the Imperium and Imperial players to this day. (Heck, I wonder if the Imperium is even aware now they used to have Jetbikes.....hmmm).

The only remaining known one is used by the Master of the [[Ravenwing]] of the [[Dark Angels]] [[Chapter]], [[Sammael]], who uses it to hunt <s>[[Fallen Angels]]</s> HERETICS FROM THE NINE TRAITOR LEGIONS. Like the rest of the Dark Angels, he is a dick who doesn't share the fact outside of the chapter he has a working Jetbike. Of course if you thought that would mean the Imperium could, you know, start making Jetbikes again for it's armed forces, think again. The [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] is so anal about anyone touching technology they would probably hide it in a <s>museum</s> technobrothel somewhere to <s>gawk at on some stand</s> have sex with.

Then again, it wouldn't be out of character for the Dark Angels to have secretly collected a bunch of jetbikes (or even an STC) and lied about it to the rest of the Imperium, as Sammael's jetbike has been working surprisingly well for many centuries despite being dragged into one warzone after another, not to mention the numerous times it's been seemingly destroyed, only to reappear without a scratch on it...

Basically the Imperium has no Jetbikes left because everyone who might have access to one is a greedy superstitious twit who would rather hoard their goodies then share. And who are the victims? WE ARE because we don't get to have Jetbikes in our armies..... unless you play Horus Heresy, where <s> the flying dildos</s> Jetbikes are your standard Fast Attack unit. [[Dude, Where's my Land Speeder?|Doesn’t this mean the traitors should have Jetbikes in huge quantities?]]
<gallery>
image:Sammael.jpg||''[[Sammael]]'s'' Pimp Bike
</gallery>

===And then...Custodes!!!===
In a move that surprised exactly nobody, the Emperor’s personal pimps have now got access to [[Dawneagle_Jetbike|Jetbikes]]. Either they were locked up in the palace with the rest of their gear, or they saw Sammael on his when they got off their asses and pulled a <s> Ferrari</s> Mechanicus in complaining. Either way they are now riding around on giant golden eagles and holding huge jousting spears a la knights in shining armour. [[Rape|They also get Hurricane Bolters as standard.]] The older [[Gyrfalcon_Pattern_Jetbike|Gyrfalcon]] pattern is even better and starts out with a Lastrum Bolt Cannon.

==Navigation==
{{Eldar-Forces}}
{{Harlequin}}
{{Marines-Forces}}
[[Category:Vehicles]]

==Star Wars==
'''Speeder Bikes''' are fast moving vehicles that can reach as high as 10 meters off the ground. They've been in common use by most developed factions in the galaxy, and have been for quite some time. The notable exception is the Confederacy of Independent Systems who only used them for a limited number of officers due to the nature of their soldiers, and even then they had the STAP which was essentially a speeder bike you stood on. Typically used for reconnaissance, probing enemy defenses, chasing down intruders, or in one particularly hilarious example from the (now non-canon) clone wars cartoon, ''[[wat|literally jousting against enemy walkers]].''

A specific type of speeder bike that was tuned more for raw speed and coolness than secondary things like rider safety is the '''Swoop Bike'''. Swoop racing is popular throughout the galaxy, from the Core to the Outer Rim, and only became more popular when pod racing was outlawed. This popularity stems from the fact that [[Human]]s were physically capable of competing at high levels. Han Solo was a swoop racer in his youth. Swoop gangs are common outlaw organizations.

Combat Aircraft

2019-07-19T01:30:04Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Electronic Warfare */

{{Topquote|
Aviation is fine as a sport. But as an instrument of war, it is worthless.|French General Ferdinand Foch just before World War I, demonstrating that men of vision aren't always right.}}

'''Combat Aircraft''' are dedicated military aircraft used in warfare. The vast majority includes fixed-wing aircraft and rotorcraft, though there are some that are neither (such as Zepplins) or both (such as Tiltrotors).

Much like with [[Tank]]s, as soon as people figured out powered flight, various nations attempted to weaponize them. Both got their big break during WWI, as mechanized warfare began to emerge. By WWII, aircraft designed for dedicated combat roles began to emerge, developing into the types used today.

==History==
During WWI, biplanes armed with machineguns were deployed to attack or defend observation balloons, which were used as spotters for ground artillery. Being made of wood and unable to fly fast or high up, these early aircraft were also vulnerable to ground weapons. They were also used to defend against Zepplins, which were among the first strategic bombers, though before incendiary bullets were invented it wasn't easy to bring down a rigid airship simply by poking it full of holes. That said during and before world war one there was actually a fair bit of skepticism from generals that airplanes were going to be any good. See the top quote for example. Looking back some of these qutos are unintentionally hilarious given how powerful air power is nowadays, but looking forward with only the example of the canvas and wood planes of the time, it's not hard to see how they might think that.

By WWII, airplanes took a leading role in combat operations, both in major combat operations such as the [[wikipedia:Battle of Britain|Battle of Britain]], as well as providing combat support for intelligence and deep strike operations. More advanced defenses had to be developed for faster and higher-flying aircraft; thus radar was invented to track the position of aircraft long before they came into visual range.

During the Cold War, aircraft development continued to be refined; while most ground-support operations were now relegated to the newly developed Helicopter, airplanes took on a strategic role in nuclear deterrence strategies - at least until ICBMs made them effectively moot. Nonetheless, they still had value in intelligence and rapid response roles. As missile technology improved, it was believed that dogfighting was no longer a viable strategy given that aircraft could be taken out beyond visual range, and thus for a period of time fighters lacked any guns, as seen on the [[wikipedia:F-4 Phantom|F-4 Phantom]]. They were brought back, however, as they realized that this was a problem if the aircraft in question needed to be identified first, and that getting within visual range was too close for missiles. This also lead to the development of holographic and computer-aided gunsights, as well as other advanced displays to the cockpit.

Military aircraft frequently spur many advanced new technologies that push the limit of what powered flight is capable of. Aircraft intended for use with aircraft carriers often have special requirements, such as a hook for catching the arresting wire and a minimum distance for takeoff. This lead to the development of VTOL (vertical takeoff and landing) technology as early as the 1960s, as seen on the [[AV-8 Harrier]] and [[wikipedia:F-35 Lightning II|F-35 Lightning II]], where an aircraft can redirect its thrust downward to takeoff and land vertically, albeit this limits the aircraft's flight time quite a bit as it consumes a lot of fuel. Stealth aircraft, meanwhile, started taking off a decade later when it was discovered that certain airframe shapes could be used to reduce and aircraft's radar profile, thus making it harder to detect. The [[wikipedia:F-117 Nighthawk|F-117 Nighthawk]] attempted to accomplish this with the wonkiest airframe shape imaginable, but more recent aircraft are able to accomplish the same feats with a more conventional layout such as the [[wikipedia:F-22 Raptor|F-22 Raptor]], or the more radical "flying wing" design used by the [[wikipedia:B-2 Spirit|B-2 Spirit]].

==Weaponry==
*'''Handguns''': Though machine guns later became standard midway through World War 1, the first dogfight ever, during the Mexican Civil War in 1913, was undertaken by two mercenary pilots with handguns. No one was hurt, but the idea of plinking away at your target with a pistol while flying your plane with your other hand lasted through the early years of World War 1.
*'''Bricks''': In the early months of World War 1, ammunition could be scarce and pilots were limited by the strict size limits of their planes to whatever they could fit in their hands. Hence the brick. Inaccurate and short-ranged, but more than heavy enough to put a hole in the wing of an early fighter.
*'''Flechette''': Basically a big metal dart dropped out of a plane. The dart gains speed as it drops until it hits the ground with enough force to pulp anything it hits.
*'''Machineguns''': The first effective weapons attached to aircraft were basic machine guns. Originally they were manned by a secondary gunner on a swivel mont that couldn’t shoot forward, due to the propeller being in the way. Later, the pilot became the gunner, and any aircraft that had a nose propeller had to be outfitted with a synchronization gear, which adjusted the machine gun’s rate of fire so that it couldn’t shoot out the plane’s own propellers. Machine gun pods were frequently used on larger aircraft for defense against enemy fighters, mainly on bombers. Machine guns were eventually replaced as they were too short-ranged for modern combat.
*'''Cannons''': Experimented with briefly during the First World War to little effect, the cannon came into its own during World War 2. Twenty-millimeter cannons became a popular replacement for machine guns, in response to a new generation of sturdier all-metal fighters. Larger aircraft in particular could survive many bullet impacts so long as nothing critical was struck, whereas explosive munitions could do a lot more damage. Bombers could be reliably eliminated with a few cannon shots. However, slow-firing cannons were less useful in a dogfight, so some aircraft would mount both cannons and guns. During the 1950s, and before the invention of air-to-air missiles, cannons proliferated- the idea was that aiming is less important if you're shooting out a whole lot of [[dakka]].
*'''Rotary Cannons''': Because the new jet fighters flew too fast to be reliably hit with machine guns, the solution was to use equally fast rotary guns such as the venerable M61 Vulcan 20mm rotary cannon. These have become the standard secondary armament on fighters, as missiles do most of the work now.
*'''Missiles''': A wide variety of missiles are used for a multiplicity of roles, such as fast and light heat-seeking missiles for bringing down aircraft, or slower and heavier but more powerful anti-tank missiles for ground warfare. These saw their first baby steps at the very end of World War 2, but didn't come into their own until the development of effective computer technology in the 1960s.
*'''Rockets''': During the Second World War, unguided rockets were the classic tank-busting weapon. Cheap, accurate and hard-hitting, they were ideal for short-range dive bombing. In the 50s, they supplemented cannon as yet another 'maximum dakka' weapon because of their fast rate of fire. Nowadays, such munitions are mostly used as an area-of-effect weapon by Attack helicopters, which can carry about a dozen or so 70mm rockets for anti-infantry and light anti-armor combat.
*'''Bombs''': The first ground-attack weapons carried on planes, early bombs were literally hand-thrown by World War 1 bomber crews, though later they would be mounted in racks on the underside of planes. Bombs come in a very large variety of sizes and munitions, but traditionally they were carried either as a single munition on smaller dive-bombers to attack a specific target, or in large quantities on large bombers for attacking areas of strategic value. Both strategies are meant to overcome the inherent inaccuracy of dropping bombs from high altitudes. However, new JDAM bombs are capable of self-correcting in flight, making them far more accurate.
*'''Torpedoes''': instead of bombs, it was easier to equip light bombers with torpedoes for naval warfare. Torpedo bombing was always a risky business, as it involved flying low and fast towards a heavily-armed target while carrying an incredibly heavy payload. The British perfected it early on in the Second World War, and it was quickly adopted by, among others, the Japanese.

==Propulsion==
*'''Propellers''': The first means of powered flight, propellers were used up until after WWII for all aircraft; by then Jet engine technology had been developed, which became the dominant means of propulsion due to being faster and having a higher flight ceiling. However, propellers are still used on certain kinds of heavy aircraft that do not require to travel at higher speed, as they have better efficency.
*'''Jets''': the main engines used on most aircraft today. A few specialized variants exist:
:*'''Ramjets''': designed specifically for use at high speed by using the speed of the aircraft itself to suck in air, instead of having to use its own power to suck air in. These are used on some models of interceptors and recon craft.
:*'''VTOL''': Verticals Takeoff and Landing. Jets with VTOL can redirect thrust downward so that they don’t need to use as much runway space, allowing them to deploy from smaller aircraft carriers and other non traditional runways.
*'''Rotors''': Essentially a propeller turned upwards. While not as fast as fixed-wing craft, their ability to hover allows them to takeoff and land from any flat ground as small as the aircraft itself, as well as provide continuous fire support to ground forces.
:*'''Tiltrotor''': a hybrid rotorcraft that can transition from hover to propeller modes by rotating the engines, as used on the [[wikipedia:V-22 Osprey|V-22 Osprey]], though this has proven to be quite tricky to implement for a number of aerodynamic and structural reasons.
*'''Ornithopter''':While no maned military Ornithopter has taken flight, it shows up enough in fantasy to be worth a quick mention. While a helicopter works by spining the wing, (that's what "''helico''" means), an Ornithopter works via flapping. While unworkable for manned craft as a whole, smaller unmanned designs do have potential.
*'''Rockets''': Only one rocket-powered fighter exists, the [[Wikipedia:Me 163 Komet|Me 163 Komet]], which proved very difficult to control and had to glide down to land after its fuel was spent. However, it was extremely fast and had a very high flight ceiling. Rockets are mostly used nowadays as disposable takeoff assistance called JATO, usually for heavy aircraft on short runways.
*'''Balloon''': airships were only used in combat during WWI, when air defense were still quite primitive. The infamous Zeppelins in particular carried out bombing raids in Britain, making them quite a terrifying sight to behold. Even bulletholes did little to stop them, as rigid airships have the same internal pressure as atmosphere, causing them to leak hydrogen too slowly to matter. However, as the [[wikipedia:Hindenburg Disaster|Hindenburg disaster]] quite definitively showed, hydrogen airships have a nasty tendency of exploding if even a small amount of static discharge is present, causing them to disappear from warfare altogether, with the exception of the "Barrage balloon", which is more like a flying landmine since the cables it carries can cause damage to low flying aircraft (ground attackers). Even after replacing the hydrogen with helium, airships proved too slow and vulnerable to be of much use compared to newer and more advanced aircraft. They saw some use as submarine chasers and to provide RADAR to Coast Guard units in WW2, and experimentally as "airborne aircraft carriers". The latter of which mostly did nothing but demonstrate how stupidly difficult the entire concept was to implement.

==Combat Roles==

===Fighters===
Fighters are the predominant aircraft type in most air forces; they mainly engage other aircraft, though depending on their design, they may have some flexibility in their combat capabilities:

*'''Air Superiority''': These fighters are dedicated solely to fight enemy aircraft. As such, they have enhanced aerodynamic performance and will outmanuever other types of aircraft. This comes at the cost of a lack of ground-attack capability. Because they are more expensive to produce, and are used solely for taking airspace, most air forces use a limited number of these.
*'''Interceptor''': Also called point-defense fighter. They were a key defensive component of nuclear deterence back when long-range bombers where the only nuclear weapons platform. While they had limited range, they were extremely fast, and thus could intercept any aircraft that threatened their airspace. With the introduction of ICBMs, they were reduced to keeping out enemy spy aircraft, until ground-based SAMs made them obsolete entirely.
*'''Multi-Role''': Most fighters today fall under this category. They are general all-rounders and can take both airborne and ground-based weaponry, depending on the mission profile. As technology improves, Air Superiority fighters will eventually be upgraded for service as Multi-Role fighters. (i.e. [[wikipedia:F-15 Strike Eagle|F-15 Strike Eagle]] & F-22 Raptor)
*'''Strike Fighter''': A type of multi-role fighter that puts more emphasis on ground-attack strikes.
*'''Fighter-Bomber''': A fighter that has been converted into dropping bombs. These have since been phased out as dedicated ground attack aircraft emerged.

===Ground-Attack===
Ground attack airplanes are used for supporting ground operations by providing close-air support to friendly infantry. Most such aircraft are helicopters, as their ability to hover and stay close to the ground makes them better suited for this role. However, some fixed-wing aircraft do exist as well.

*'''Fixed-Wing Attack Aircraft''': Originally used to harass and demoralize enemy ground forces, as technology improved, attack aircraft became more accurate and survivable to enemy fire. They started to vanish during the Cold War as helicopters and strike fighters took over their role, but a small number managed to find their niche as they could be deployed more rapidly than helicopters, while taking more damage and being able to loiter longer than strike fighters (which oftentimes are moving too fast to get more than one hit onto a target area). The [[A-10 Warthog]] is considered the standard for modern fixed-wing attack aircraft, possessing a tank-busting Gatling gun that goes BRRRRRRRRRRRRRT and a heavily protected cockpit that is often called an "armored bathtub." They are also one of the most effective counters to Attack Helicopters and carry less risk compared to Man-portable air-defense systems and anti gir guns. Something that other fixed wing aircraft just suck at.
*'''Wild Weasel''': A ground attack support craft, a Wild Weasel's job is to be a [[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX]], get targeted by enemy radar and ground to air weapons, then either follow the targeting beam back to the source or direct an ally to do the same. Famously the motto for American Wild Weasels units is "''YGBSM''" or ''"You gotta be shitting me"'' based on what somebody who was told his job was to be a designated target said in response.
*'''Attack Helicopters''': <s>[[meme|Something that people may sexually identify as]]</s> During the Vietnam war, some army generals figured out that if sticking a few machineguns onto a [[UH-1 Huey]] turned it into a flying troop transport, adding some armor and sticking some rockets and autocannons onto a helicopter would turn it into a flying tank. This lead to the development of the [[AH-1 Cobra Attack Helicopter]], which the majority of modern attack helicopters take after design-wise; narrow profile, pilot behind gunner position, chin-mounted gun and weapon pods mounted on wingtips, etc. A helicopter can also avoid enemy radar more easily by hovering closer to the ground, though they can still be vulnerable to small arms fire; particularly if the tail gets shot out. A non-stationary helicopter is still hard to hit though with anything other than rapid-fire cannons or guided missiles.
*'''Transport Helicopter''': Much like land-based Armored Personnel Carriers, transport helicopters can ferry soldiers to distant battlefields with relative speed. While they are generally not frontline combat aircraft, they are often armed enough with doorguns and sometimes rockets to clear out and secure landing zones to provide infantry the space they need to infiltrate and exfiltrate as needed. Some heavy-lifting helicopters may even be able to tow along armored vehicles for additional support.
*'''Gunship''': Whereas "gunship" will often refer to a heavily-armed helicopter, fixed-wing gunships are quite rare, but also awe-inspiring. Basically, a gunship mounts multiple guns on its side and strafes enemy ground targets by soaking them in fire. Only a handful of such aircraft have existed, all of which from converted aircraft; the G and H variants of the WWII [[wikipedia:B-25|B-25 medium bomber]] had been converted to mount at least a ''dozen'' .50 cal machineguns and a 75mm cannon for anti-ship warfare, while the [[wikipedia:AC-47|AC-47]] mounted three miniguns on its side. The latest one is the [[wikipedia:AC-130|AC-130]], which mounts a 105mm cannon and various autocannons or rotary guns for total annihilation. The downside though is that such aircraft are quite vulnerable to enemy aircraft and AA weapons, making them only useful if friendly forces have already taken control of the airspace.

===Bombers===
Bombers, quite simply, drop bombs. Two types exist: strategic bombers (of which a mission will be built around destroying a specific target), and tactical bombers (where a bomber will attack targets as part of an overall mission, such as supporting ground forces). In the beginning, they had terrible accuracy, so they had to try and saturate targets with as many bombs as they could carry in the hopes that one of them would hit the right target. Or, if they were dive-bombers, approach the target at a steep angle before releasing and pulling away as quickly as possible.

In WWII, Bombers could be divided into light, medium, and heavy bombers. Light bombers were more tactically-oriented and resembled the fighter-bombers listed above. Medium and Heavy bombers were bigger and slower, but could carry more payloads. They oftentimes had defensive machinegun pods and fighter escorts as well, given that they were massively important targets.

During the Cold War, emphasis was put on making them fly higher and farther to avoid enemy defenses and deliver nuclear payloads, though this capability has since declined due to the invention of ICBMs. In warfare they generally carry conventional bombs, though they can also carry cruise missiles for taking out distant targets where an overhead flyby would be too risky.

===Electronic Warfare===
These specialist craft have one primary purpose: to degrade the effectiveness of the radar and guidance systems of enemy aircraft. These can be converted fighters or utility craft, usually by sticking a radar-jammer onto it. They can still carry conventional weapons, but will oftentimes be supported by other fighters for engaging enemy craft.

===Mothership===
While normally associated with Science Fiction, motherships did have a practical, although limited use in history. The earliest airborne motherships were airships, having internal hangars to carry biplane fighters, such as the American Akron class airships. In WWII, the Russians re-purposed the obsolete TB-3 Heavy bomber into carrying 2-5 light fighters, thereby extending their operational range and allowing them to carry heavier payloads. Nowadays, the mothership concept is only used for experimental aircraft or for carrying unmanned drones; Aircraft carriers are much more practical for launching fighters away from one's home base.

{{Vehicle Warfare}}

[[Category:History]] [[Category:Vehicles]]

ADATS

2019-07-16T00:16:30Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* In Team Yankee */

[[File:TCBX01-04.jpg|300px|right|thumb|This machine ''hates'' Russian Engineering.]]
{{topquote|Nor ours the shout of victory, the fame Of them that vanquish in a stricken field.|John McCrae}}

One of the unicorns in Team Yankee, the '''ADATS''' is still a welcome addition to the Canadians. Though it never saw function until after the Team Yankee timeframe, here it is, making the board a much more dangerous place for PACT players. A complex system, the Canadian Forces saw a clear use in having the device, considering in part the lack of a major ATGM system and a need for a more advanced air defense system. The ADATS met this somewhat unique demand, and so it is often associated in media with Canadian ground forces of the period.
{{clear}}

==In Team Yankee==
[[File:TCBX01-13.jpg|300px|left|thumb|ADATS a spicy meat-a-ball!]]
There's no kill like overkill, and good Lord above, does this thing ''scream'' overkill.

Do you see that [[MI-24 Hind|Hind]]? The ADATS can kill it. What about that [[SU-25 Frogfoot|Frogfoot]]? The ADATS can kill it. Over there, do you see that [[T-72]]? The ADATS can easily kill that from across the whole damn board. The only thing the ADATS has a hard time murdering is infantry. But that's just fine, since this thing should be parked firmly in your backline, and your [[Leopard 1#Canada|Leopard C1's]] should have already turned the enemy infantry rush into a fleshy, communist-flavoured puddle. It's also safe to beware of the fact that the ADATS has a minimum range of 40cm, though you should be avoiding being in range of enemy armour to begin with. You outrange damn well everything, anyway. In other words... Fuck your tank, fuck your helicopters, fuck your APC, and fuck that artillery piece. Now in one unit.

What you should be taking away from this, is that the ADATS is flexible. Whatever you deem to be the biggest threat to your models on the board, that's what the ADATS should be shooting at. The rest of your list is fairly flexible as well, so you should be able to commit this specific model to countering large threats without sacrificing that turn's worth of firepower. If your opponent didn't put their artillery behind cover, punish them for it. If they managed to get their shoddy Russian tanks around on your flank, send them into the shadow realm from the comfort of your backline. If your opponent has brought so many Hinds as to make the air cavalry blush, co-operate with your Blowpipes to clear the skies. Once those big threats have been dealt with, you can focus on dealing with whatever other spam your PACT players have brought this week.

The ADATS is surprisingly cheap for what it is (2.5pts per model), but the player can only take either two, four or six of them. You'll probably never find yourself in a situation where you need to take all that many, but it's good to have as a backup. The trick is to not take any more or less than you need. Too many, and you're burning points that could be better spent on Leopards. Too little, and you're passing up on an all-purpose vehicle-killer that can threaten nearly ''everything'' from ''anywhere'' on the map. In other words, always take it to fight those fatter PACT tools, but don't take the 6 or even 4-strong option for low-point games where just two of them are enough to sweep the board of pesky T-72s.

While the ADATS is unmatched in its anti-air and anti-armor efficiency, do note that in the CURRENT meta of Soviet infantry spam (BTRs or BMPs) the ADATS would be deadweight against such numerable and lightly armoured targets. Treat this as a tech-unit for future metas, awful against infantry-centric lists but pivotal to winning against armored and airborne lists when playing the Canadians: it looks weird, and is also one of the strongest support units in the game.

==IRL==
[[File:ADATS IRL.png|300px|right|thumb|It is said that the rockets are fueled by a dark, unholy cocktail of Canada Geese blood and freshly shed communist tears.]]
The first guided missile system expressly designed to engage both aircraft and armored vehicles. The name itself is an allusion to this mission, being short for "Air Defense Anti Tank System" its development was long and troubled, Only two countries of the expected 10 actually made orders for the ADATs system. Canada and Thailand are the only operators of the system and no replacements for the system are in development. Well at least it wasn't the Sgt. York 2.0!

{{Canadian Forces in Team Yankee}}
[[Category:Vehicles]]

Jaq Draco

2019-06-07T18:47:38Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Retinue */

{{Oldschool}}
{{Wh40k-stub}}
{{topquote|Though no daemon I, I feel in my bones that it might prove inauspicious to utter my own name overmuch ''in my own voice,'' [[wat|lest I may be summoned and bound - by hostile human forces.]] Therefore, ''I'' shall become ''he''. I, Jaq Draco, will tell the story of Jaq Draco as witnessed by a fly upon the wall, committing Jaq Draco's experiences to this data-cube in the hopes that the masters of the Ordo Malleus or the Inquisition itself may authenticate the truth of what I report and determine to take action.|Jaq Draco, already going off the rails in the '''third''' prologue of his first book.}}

Let's take a trip back, shall we? Back to the days of [[Squat]]s and non-[[Tyranid]] [[Genestealer]]s, to a time where the [[Tau]] were not even a glint in the eyes of any of GW's dev team, and to the times of [[Ian Watson]]'s ''Inquisition War'' novels.

This is where the tale of '''Jaq Draco''' resides. Once an [[Inquisitor]] of the [[Ordo Malleus]] back when they were focused on being watchdog to the other organizations, Jaq was then caught up in a massive scandal that sought to enslave humanity itself through use of the Illuminati and the [[Sensei]]. In an attempt to defy this, Jaq decided that, among other things, he had to go to [[Terra]] to pay the [[Emprah]] a visit. Because of how the Malleus in this era had vows against going to Terra (and another detail involving unsanctioned Exterminatus), this rendered Draco a renegade and heretic whom the Inquisition at large has disowned. Though whether it is because he was a loose cannon, his exploits being too improbable to be believed, or because he was too much of an embarrassing degenerate (seriously, he goes on and on about how he wants his female companion's coochie '''WHILE IN GENESTEALER FORM''') is up for debate.

==Early History==
Jaq was originally born on the planet Xerxes Quintus, which had become a hotbed for mutation and psykery since the Age of Strife. His parents were colonists who were tasked with researching the genome when they were murdered. Jaq was then shipped off to a missionary school, which was pretty much the [[Schola Progenium]] but before all the fluff about Commissars was fixed. He was eventually discovered to be a psyker on top of being too curious for his own good, so off he went to the [[Black Ships]] to become Emprah-chow...or so it would have been if he didn't manage to ingratiate himself to the Inquisitors on board, who took to him and thus kick-started his education as an Inquisitor. Again, his curiosity comes into play and led to him entering the "Inner Order", a secretive organization purposed with keeping watch over the Inquisitors.

==The Inquisition War==
During one op where Jaq watched over another Inquisitor's genestealer purge, he discovered (through his Emperor's Tarot) the presence of a Harlequin Man - a man dressed like a [[Harlequin]] - by the name of Zephro Carnelian. Believing him to be a threat, Jaq and crew began a big cat and mouse chase across the planet which ended with them hijacking the Planetary Governor's pet [[astropath]] and declaring [[exterminatus]] upon the planet because it inhabited some new strain of warp-monstrosity. Shortly afterward, Jaq uncovers the Ordo Hydra: a ultra-special-secretive cabal of Inquisitors (including Carnelian, the Inquisitor he was keeping an eye on, and his own mentor) who were planning on using this warp-spawned entity to fuse the minds of all mankind into one massive gestalt in order to stamp out the forces of [[Chaos]] for good and replace the dying Emperor. Though Jaq gets inducted into the Ordo, he still has serious concerns and thus mounts an expedition to the [[Eye of Terror]] to uncover the warp-spawn's origins and then to Terra to warn the Emperor and receive revelations of his own.

Once finished, he shoved everyone into stasis-crates and got shipped off to another world so as to escape any further patrols. They end up on Luxus Prime, which was in the middle of a heretic cult uprising, sans the team Squat (they eventually find him, he was just separated and had himself a helluva time) and lose their Navigator to some latent corruption. After pretty much guaranteeing that the cult was crushed and that the Planetary Governor was punished for his negligence, he helped himself to the Governor's astropath and booked it. He then came across unsettling news that Stalinvast (that planet he exterminatus'd) was now being occupied by Eldar (Harlequins, specifically) with not only Carnelian being assumed active again, but the assassin's superior went rogue and Jaq's own mentor (who was mind-scrubbed some years ago) was going to investigate the case.

==Retinue==
* '''Meh'Lindi''': A [[Callidus]] assassin who, for baffling reasons, was experimented on to only turn into a genestealer to her horror. Being the only woman on this team, it didn't take much for everyone to get funny ideas, but Jaq's the only person she slept with and even then it wasn't all that enjoyable. Was the focus of a short story explaining this procedure and how it came into perfect use in blowing up a [[Genestealer Cult]]. We're specifically told that Meh'Lindi even grows an artificial fuck-hole for her genestealer form. Honestly, we were better off not knowing that.
* '''Grimm''': A [[Squat]]. Later editions of the novels decided to retcon him with a deviant [[Techpriest]] named '''Grill'''. He was the focus of a short story about his time in the retinue of another Inquisitor whom he helped (alongside some Ogryns and marines) rescue a nascent psyker from a Chaos robot (hey, this was pre-Men of Iron and pre-Necron). He gets some of the best lines, such as "[There are] millions dead, and here I munch," followed by the inquisition's victory being "sugar on the porridge of death." These are real lines, folks.
* '''Vitali Googol''': A [[Navigator]] with a fascination for poetry and wine. Got a bit corrupted during their trip to the Eye of Terror, which led to bigger issues including his eventual death.
**'''Azul Petrov''': The replacement Navigator Grimm dug up on Luxus.
*'''Moma Parsheen''': Originally the [[Astropath]] of Stalinvast's governor, and a literal crazy cat lady. She "forgot" to cancel the [[Exterminatus]] order for Stalinvast to get revenge on the governor, but regrets it after Grimm reminded her that she left behind her cats. Gets blammed by one of the Ordo Hydra inquisitors for messing with his plans.
*'''Fennix''': [[Astropath]] to the Planetary Governor of Luxus Prime. He's a rather strange sort of mystic hampered by his hyper-sensitive senses and his monkey-like anatomy.

{{Template:Famous members of the Inquisiton}}

Jaq Draco

2019-06-07T18:39:10Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28:

{{Oldschool}}
{{Wh40k-stub}}
{{topquote|Though no daemon I, I feel in my bones that it might prove inauspicious to utter my own name overmuch ''in my own voice,'' [[wat|lest I may be summoned and bound - by hostile human forces.]] Therefore, ''I'' shall become ''he''. I, Jaq Draco, will tell the story of Jaq Draco as witnessed by a fly upon the wall, committing Jaq Draco's experiences to this data-cube in the hopes that the masters of the Ordo Malleus or the Inquisition itself may authenticate the truth of what I report and determine to take action.|Jaq Draco, already going off the rails in the '''third''' prologue of his first book.}}

Let's take a trip back, shall we? Back to the days of [[Squat]]s and non-[[Tyranid]] [[Genestealer]]s, to a time where the [[Tau]] were not even a glint in the eyes of any of GW's dev team, and to the times of [[Ian Watson]]'s ''Inquisition War'' novels.

This is where the tale of '''Jaq Draco''' resides. Once an [[Inquisitor]] of the [[Ordo Malleus]] back when they were focused on being watchdog to the other organizations, Jaq was then caught up in a massive scandal that sought to enslave humanity itself through use of the Illuminati and the [[Sensei]]. In an attempt to defy this, Jaq decided that, among other things, he had to go to [[Terra]] to pay the [[Emprah]] a visit. Because of how the Malleus in this era had vows against going to Terra (and another detail involving unsanctioned Exterminatus), this rendered Draco a renegade and heretic whom the Inquisition at large has disowned. Though whether it is because he was a loose cannon, his exploits being too improbable to be believed, or because he was too much of an embarrassing degenerate (seriously, he goes on and on about how he wants his female companion's coochie '''WHILE IN GENESTEALER FORM''') is up for debate.

==Early History==
Jaq was originally born on the planet Xerxes Quintus, which had become a hotbed for mutation and psykery since the Age of Strife. His parents were colonists who were tasked with researching the genome when they were murdered. Jaq was then shipped off to a missionary school, which was pretty much the [[Schola Progenium]] but before all the fluff about Commissars was fixed. He was eventually discovered to be a psyker on top of being too curious for his own good, so off he went to the [[Black Ships]] to become Emprah-chow...or so it would have been if he didn't manage to ingratiate himself to the Inquisitors on board, who took to him and thus kick-started his education as an Inquisitor. Again, his curiosity comes into play and led to him entering the "Inner Order", a secretive organization purposed with keeping watch over the Inquisitors.

==The Inquisition War==
During one op where Jaq watched over another Inquisitor's genestealer purge, he discovered (through his Emperor's Tarot) the presence of a Harlequin Man - a man dressed like a [[Harlequin]] - by the name of Zephro Carnelian. Believing him to be a threat, Jaq and crew began a big cat and mouse chase across the planet which ended with them hijacking the Planetary Governor's pet [[astropath]] and declaring [[exterminatus]] upon the planet because it inhabited some new strain of warp-monstrosity. Shortly afterward, Jaq uncovers the Ordo Hydra: a ultra-special-secretive cabal of Inquisitors (including Carnelian, the Inquisitor he was keeping an eye on, and his own mentor) who were planning on using this warp-spawned entity to fuse the minds of all mankind into one massive gestalt in order to stamp out the forces of [[Chaos]] for good and replace the dying Emperor. Though Jaq gets inducted into the Ordo, he still has serious concerns and thus mounts an expedition to the [[Eye of Terror]] to uncover the warp-spawn's origins and then to Terra to warn the Emperor and receive revelations of his own.

Once finished, he shoved everyone into stasis-crates and got shipped off to another world so as to escape any further patrols. They end up on Luxus Prime, which was in the middle of a heretic cult uprising, sans the team Squat (they eventually find him, he was just separated and had himself a helluva time) and lose their Navigator to some latent corruption. After pretty much guaranteeing that the cult was crushed and that the Planetary Governor was punished for his negligence, he helped himself to the Governor's astropath and booked it. He then came across unsettling news that Stalinvast (that planet he exterminatus'd) was now being occupied by Eldar (Harlequins, specifically) with not only Carnelian being assumed active again, but the assassin's superior went rogue and Jaq's own mentor (who was mind-scrubbed some years ago) was going to investigate the case.

==Retinue==
* '''Meh'Lindi''': A [[Callidus]] assassin who, for baffling reasons, was experimented on to only turn into a genestealer to her horror. Being the only woman on this team, it didn't take much for everyone to get funny ideas, but Jaq's the only person she slept with and even then it wasn't all that enjoyable. Was the focus of a short story explaining this procedure and how it came into perfect use in blowing up a [[Genestealer Cult]]. We're specifically told that Meh'Lindi even grows an artificial fuck-hole for her genestealer form. Honestly, we were better off not knowing that.
* '''Grimm''': A [[Squat]]. Later editions of the novels decided to retcon him with a deviant [[Techpriest]] named '''Grill'''. He was the focus of a short story about his time in the retinue of another Inquisitor whom he helped (alongside some Ogryns and marines) rescue a nascent psyker from a Chaos robot (hey, this was pre-Men of Iron and pre-Necron). He gets some of the best lines, such as "[There are] millions dead, and here I munch," followed by the inquisition's victory being "sugar on the porridge of death." These are real lines, folks.
* '''Vitali Googol''': A [[Navigator]] with a fascination for poetry and wine. Got a bit corrupted during their trip to the Eye of Terror, which led to bigger issues including his eventual death.
**'''Azul Petrov''': The replacement Navigator Grimm dug up on Luxus.
*'''Fennix''': [[Astropath]] to the Planetary Governor of Luxus Prime. He's a rather strange sort of mystic hampered by his hyper-sensitive senses and his monkey-like anatomy.

{{Template:Famous members of the Inquisiton}}

If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device

2019-06-07T01:28:57Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Trivia */

{{Cleanup}}
{{Spoilers}}
[[File:If-the-emperor.png|500px|right|thumb|]]
{{Topquote|'''The LORD:'''<br>"You've nothing more to say to me? You come but to complain unendingly? Is never aught right to your mind?"<br>'''Mephistopheles:'''<br>"No, Lord! All is still downright bad, I find.|Goethe's Faust, Prologue in Heaven.}}

A Youtube series created by Bruva Alfabusa, the show follows the exploits of [[Emprah]] himself in his quest to bring the Imperium of Man to its former glory, helped by the captain of the Custodes "Little Kitten", Magnus (now forgiven and with soul) and a hilarious cast of other major 40k characters. The series has become a complete success, mostly by poking fun at many of the memes, traditions, and quirks of the 40k universe and the fandom, but also by some very awesome scenes, and, of course, great music. This shit has become so popular that it has its own fanfiction (one of which ended up gaining multiple meta-Fanfictions of its own), and there's even a few quotes from the show scattered through the affected characters' pages here. Seriously. (Does that make them a fanfic... within a fanfic?)

Most fans agree that, while a wild and very unserious take on the 40k universe, and the episodes are often littered with injokes (to the point of one regarding Magnus's VA taking up an entire special), the plot itself isn't actually that outlandish (apart from the [[Ultramarines]] capturing [[Magnus the Red]]. And even that is not incredible. Fucking Smurfs). If the Emps would wake up, it's pretty much a given that he would remove the worst parts of the Inquisition in short order, as well as enacting extensive reforms throughout the rest of the Imperial bureaucracy, while probably being an ass, as he always was. The unsure part is if the Emps would have learned from his 10,000 years of mistakes, which the series believes he has, deep inside. Doesn't help his [[Rage|temper]] though.

The series began back during the unending plot stagnation that has happened since third edition, though now that the plot's actually begun to move forward for a change, it is unknown how this will affect the series.

The so-called "TTS-verse" also includes Karl the Deranged's series [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5enLrHSMuIs Chaos Descends], and Eliphas the Inheritor's unfinished [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1cXYan0NQA Behemoth] trilogy. "Specials" are slated for story content that takes place outside the throne room. The show also has an in-character podcast that reviews [[Black Library]] books called ''If The Emperor Had a Podcast.'' As in, they go to the Webway Black Library, and pick up books published by GW's Black Library.

==Dramatis Personae==
Starting off with a few characters, the series has evolved to encompass a fuckton of major and minor characters, with their own small arcs and all. It's not quite [[Order of the Stick|OotS]] level, but it's getting there.

===Team Emperor===
[[Image:Pleased Emprah.jpg|thumb|right]]
*'''[[Emperor of Mankind]]''': The Emprah, who's now able to verbally communicate with people after Techpriests installed a text-to-speech device on his throne. You know how Roboute Guilliman is a 'jerk with a heart of gold'? Well the Emperor is a massive frothing plasteel power ceramite spiked dickbag with tourettes and a heart of gold/platinum alloy studded with diamonds. Is currently planning to rebuild the Imperium after hearing the clusterfuck of stories from his Captain-General caretaker. He also has a pet [[Centurion Squad|Centurion]] (who turns out to be rather an important person of the Primarchial variety), which he finds adorable, while finding [[Dreadknight]]s abominable. He is a jerk, frequently insulting the Captain-General with little reason other than he can (and because it's funny), and dialogue with Magnus implies he's always been a prick. Nonetheless he is ultimately a sympathetic character who wanted to create a better future for humanity and the comedic outrage he displays at all the bad news he gets is justified given how he frequently hears about costly victories that could have been avoided if the men in charge were less incompetent and how the Imperium has been destroying itself (usually because of the Inquisition). The Emperor has a new plan for defeating Chaos after the "starve them out by getting rid of religion" plan didn't work, but like before, he refuses to tell anyone what that plan is (although this time around, it's apparently not because he doesn't trust anyone, but because he doesn't want to spoil the surprise. Though it's probably sending the Ultramarines to destroy Chaos). As of certain revelations post-Gathering Storm, he's definitely a lot nicer than canon Emprah. Such as getting incredibly furious when he hears that the Inquisition has been murdering his people and such. This Emperor seems to honestly care about each individual human but accepts that his decisions cannot be based on that compassion.
**'''The Star Child''': Spoiler alert on this one, but Emps on Terra isn't the only part of Emps still sticking around. If the foreshadowing is anything to go by, he seems to be the largest non-Throne fragment of the Emperor's soul that contains his compassion and love for mankind. Saved the remainder of the Inquisition and Leman Russ from Skarbrand and is currently hijacking Fyodor's body in order to get back to the Material Realm.
[[Image:Sad Kitten.jpg|thumb|right]]
*''' Custodes Captain-General (aka Kitten (Real Name: Captain-General Kittonius etc. etc. etc. (as far as Spacebattle’s concerned)))''': Captain-General of the [[Adeptus Custodes]] and the only Custode who appears to have retained his sanity after the near-death of the Emperor, and for that matter one of the few sane humans in the Imperium. He serves as both the Emperor's personal caretaker and assistant, and pretty much the only person he regularly talks to and his main link to the outside world. Generally, the only person the Emperor trusts and treats like a son, albeit constantly berating him whenever he does something stupid, or because he just feels like it. He also seriously hates [[Tau]]. One episode implies that it is because [[Shadowsun]] spurned him for the Greater Go'''OHISWEARTOFUCK THAT WAS ''NOT'' CANON!''' He is named ''Little Kitten'' by his fellow Custodes, for "purring his way so far into their ranks", but his real name is a long seemingly nonsensical word salad supposedly based on his accomplishments... But given how he's been stuck in the palace for the last ten thousand years said accomplishments include things like "Goldilocks-Sunshine-Graham-Corncob". His frequent emotional outbursts despite the supposed emotionless state of the Custodes is intentional and played for humor. After being forced out of the position of caretaker by his fellow Custodes, Kitten fell into a depression, to which Magnus ominously is taking advantage of by making Kitten his ally in making the Imperium great again and totally not get back at the old man. So far all he has done was kill a bunch of Lacrymoles that were impersonating the High Lords of Terra. It has been revealed that his uncanny knowledge of the outside world (considering the hate of knowledge in the Imperium in general) could come from the Black Library itself. Has become a master of [[Yu-Gi-Oh|Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker]], defeating not only the Emperor (because of his refusal to unplug Guilliman) but also Tzeentch of all things. He has recently been turned silver by Tzeentch while playing a children's card game (Again) and winning over Magnus the Reds soul. In episode 25, the duo arrived on Nocturne and went to 'borrow' the Engine of Woes. At this point, Magnus accidentally kills Vulkan with the engine, which releases Corvus Corax, who was in there the whole time. The Salamanders and Corvus quickly became hostile to Magnus, however, so he teleported himself and Kitten away. He later gets lost in the warp, encounters Crotalids, and plays COD with Apollo Diomedies and Indrick Boraele. He's now going off to Mars to find and retrieve the Proteus Protocol, a mythical technology that can supposedly bring back Big E, with a retinue of custodies(including the most FABULOUS dreadnaught in the entire Imperium).
**Is most likely ''not'' Constantin Valdor or Trajann Valoris, given the latter didn't exist when the series was first made and the former had been agreed to be dead in the canon. The entire point of the running gag regarding his name is likely to distance himself from any of the canon Captain-Generals. However, it is worth noting that the armor he starts wearing as of EP27 is directly based on Valoris' miniature, though with silver parts thanks to Tzeentch's sorcery, and with the feather on his armor replaced with one of Magnus' instead.

*'''[[Magnus the Red]]''': The closest thing to a sane person besides the Captain-General (who plays the straight man depending on the situation). Retrieved from wherever within the Warp by the sheer plot-armor-powered efforts of [[Cato Sicarius]] and then brought to the Golden Throne, followed by the Emperor bullying [[Tzeentch]] in order to steal back Magnus' soul. Touched, he somehow managed to forgive the Emperor (sort of) and decided to help the Emps with his plan to fix the Imperium, but Emps being a jerk to him is starting to test his patience. The shiny new bike he was given helped with their reconciliation... buuuut, Emprah being Emprah, it didn't take long enough to start insulting and mocking Magnus back and forth constantly. (Nice Dad skills, really). He may not be actively working for Chaos anymore, but he also quickly runs out of patience with his father and is attempting to fix the Imperium without his help, partly because he has serious doubts about his current sanity (which is kind of justified), and partly just to spite him. Fortunately, as a Primarch and a particularly knowledgeable one at that, Magnus can probably get it done just fine on his own. Magnus turns into a [[neckbeard]]ed daemon cyclops [http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/mediawiki/images/9/9a/MagnusEpic.jpg that is a bit reminiscent of his old model back in] [[Epic]], whenever he enters [[rage]] mode - usually prompted by any mention of [[furries|Space Wolves]], causing him to flashback to the Burning of [[Prospero]]. He's currently undertaking some obscure schemes with the unwitting aid of the Captain-General Kitten, including the attempted assassination of the [[High Lords of Terra]] and "borrowing" the Engine of Woes from Nocturne. While playing with an ouija board on board a ship with Kitten, Tzeentch arrives to "reclaim" custody of him from his "abusive" father and morphs him back into his Daemon Prince form. It took Kitten playing a child's card game (again) with Tzeentch to keep Magnus out of his clutches. On the other hand, Magnus is stuck in his Daemon Prince form while Kitten theoretically owns his soul (much to his embarrassment and dismay). In episode 25, the <s>couple</s>'''Partners*''' arrived on Nocturne and went to 'borrow' the Engine of Woes. Magnus decides to sneak into the base instead of using his OP invisibility though after a bit of poking at Kitten (it involves Tau, guaranteed to piss him off) then decides to go yell in a North England accent at a guard. The Engine OF Woes, a green hatchback car (<s>the infamous Fiat Multipla</s> a Smart Fortwo) then released the thousands of years trapped Corvus Corvax after Magnus killed Vulkan for hugging him. The entire chapter of the Salamanders pops up and are very hostile with Magnus. (Well, as hostile as the Salamanders can get. Which basically equates to purposefully hugging you so hard your spine snaps, instead of accidentally doing so). Corax isn't happy either as he was released from his super dark hole, which forces Magnus to teleport himself and Kitten away. Vulkan suddenly super healed himself again and wants to hunt/hug Magnus. The chase is on! When Kitten chooses his <s>army list</s> delegation for the trip to Mars, Magnus seems to embrace his inner neckbeard in a different way. After Kitten went on his trip, he met the Emperor to inform him about their return and as he predicted earlier, he was bombarded with chicken jokes instantly. Surprisingly enough, Dorn was the one who complimented him on his new visage. Dawwww...

*<s>'''[[Rogal Dorn]]'''</s> '''Lord Dadornable:''' Primarch of the [[Imperial Fists]]. Is revealed as the Emperor's personal Centurion, with whom he had nightly cuddling sessions prior to his reveal. He came out of hiding after Kitten brought up the topic of discussing the [[Space Wolves]], where he vehemently suggested not to discuss the Wolves to prevent Magnus from spazzing out. His extreme bluntness is shown to be less because he is an asshole and more because he is extremely oblivious and literal-minded and his stubbornness, a trait ingrained also in his legion, grants him such a closed-minded view and lack of understanding of social situations that he almost always fails to read sub-texts or commonly understood jokes/innuendos. Then again, given at one point he drops his stoic facade to chuckle at the Emperor being hypocritical about skeleton worship (while claiming his favorite humor is actually the analysis of reality, e.g. "Slapping your hands together to make noise is a strange way of expressing praise"), he could just be trolling everyone by acting the laconic fool in response to "fool-proof" metaphors. Additionally, in episode 24 it is greatly implied he is fully aware of everything going on, including the Emperor's plans, implying he has some form of "super-sanity". Or maybe it's due to using a fucking chainsword to scratch his head. Before his disappearance, he used to consult his "magic pain glove" until his hand fell off. Despite his eccentricities and his probable inability to understand sarcasm, he can still make surprisingly lucid observations such as that the End Times are coming and that not even the Chaos Gods will survive the inevitable heat death of the entire Universe. He even manages to, perhaps unwittingly, deliver one of the sickest burns yet on the Emperor, leaving him speechless (Linked here: [https://youtu.be/ihskUz0obzY?t=390]). Actually, nearly every line he spouts is full of unintentional hilarity. Is fully capable of "The Laughter". Also believes fully that the "Taco Tuesday" is the true path, and disbelieves that "taco Friday" is a thing, accusing his father of being a liar for implementing such a belief, making Rogal start the "[http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/heresy/thedornianheresy.pdf Dornian Heresy]", end of the taco Friday, and possibly the end of Emps{{BLAM}}

*'''Boy''': A one-eyed young serf boy who operates the voxcaster during The Emperor's podcasts. He has another name, but because he was too slow in saying it; The Emperor decreed that his name is "Boy". Incredibly meek and timid due to serving Big E himself, so constantly has bouts of hyperventilation and anxiety. Apart from operating the voxcaster, his other role is representing the knowledge of the average Imperial citizen, which is unsurprisingly abysmal due to lack of education. Recently became more intelligent due to summarising the Black Templars in their entirety based on weak information and pointing out chapter flaws. Is friends with Billy. Additionally, he wishes to be an Astartes, and due to the fact that there's a Chapter of them who keeps their Star-Fortress Monastery parked in orbit most of the time, and due to the fact that said Chapter's [[Rogal Dorn|Primarch]] is basically his adoptive father, it isn't that far fetched.

===Imperials (So sorta good guys)===
[[Image:Pillar-Stodes.png|thumb|right|From right to left: Wamuudes, Custodisi, and Karstodes.]]
*'''The Pillar-stodes (Wamuudes, Custodisi, and Karstodes)''': Some of the Emperor's personal companions from the Great Crusade days, and the current Tribunes of the Adeptus Custodes. As far as the main TTS-Reaction thread's concerned, their real names are Karius Dolman, Disistan Flavius, and Whamusus Balik. After his interment into the Golden Throne, the rest of the Custodes have shed their armor as a sign of mourning. This, however, has also caused them to become fabulous hedonists (although somehow not to a Slaaneshi-tier extreme, they actually despise slaaneshi daemons the most, much to the Emperor's confusion), which greatly disturbs the Emperor. They also have no respect for their Captain General and don't even seem to remember that he's their superior, actually [[Just As Planned|taking away his job as the emperor's caretaker by doing something for him]]. They constantly slip innuendos into their conversations, much to the discomfort of everyone involved. Except for Rogal; he's too literal-minded to notice. A running gag with them is that whenever the Pillarstodes come into a scene, they would dynamically jump in from nowhere with their own [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUhVCoTsBaM personal theme song]. The three Pillarstodes appearance is based on the Pillar Men from [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure]]: Battle Tendency; a group of fabulously well-built, half-naked Aztec vampire demigods seeking immortality. (they also make obscure Jojo references at times). They do have discernible personalities; the one who makes all the innuendo, the one obsessed with greasing his body parts, and the one who isn't the other two. Two (Custodisi and Wamuudes) wind up encountering Cegorach in front of the Black Library. They manage to gain entrance and retrieve a surprising amount of literature on the White Scars, but are traumatized by the Laughing God & are mentally exhausted from sifting through so much knowledge. Apparently, Cegorach was quite scary, as they are terrified after hearing his "[BAZINGA]" cue; although it may simply be a reference to that one time when two Harlequins managed to enter the Imperial Palace and slaughtered a shit load of Custodes while claiming to have come in peace and simply want to deliver a message to the Emperor (and the best is that [[Heresy|one of them was saved by the Inquisition]] [[Extra Heresy|in the name of inter-species friendship]], in spite of the Captain-General being hell-bent on killing both), so it is actually no surprise at all that some Custodes have got massive traumas. Recently after the trip to the Black Library, Custodisi and Wamuudes have been semi-corrupted and began spouting khornate speech and wishing to genocide the normies in the anger intervention against Helbrecht; high marshal of the [[Black Templars]]. Actually, back in 2nd edition where you could play <s>Chaos</s>{{BLAM|'''REDACTED'''}} bands in an RPG fashion style, there was a tiny possibility for your lord of Choas to be a Custodes! So, <s>Chaos</s>{{BLAM|'''REDACTED'''}} Custodes are (were) canon... and compared to modern Geedubs, this shows relies quite a lot on old [[fluff]]. Recently, Custodisi has been theorized to have been Horus’d by Emps after he mentioned the sheer concept of “wincest” within metaphysical earshot of '''YA BOI'''.
*'''Diavodes''': Another crazy Jojo-Custodes (this one is based on Diavolo from part 5), he appeared out of the blue and asked Kitten and Magnus if they knew who he was, and was content to hear that they didn't. Once alone, he started to laugh maniacally, declaring that soon the new Emperor would be him, Diavodes! Also [[Alpha Legion|may or may not]] be [[Alpharius|a familiar face]] in disguise. He appears about 11 minutes into episode 22, and hasn't been seen since.
*'''Mars Delegation''': As part of the Captain General's mission to secure some choice intel from the Fabricator-General, he decided to grab a few particular allies from the various shield hosts.
**'''Hammurabi Unferth''': Shield Captain from the Emissaries Imperiatus. Apparently, the entire host is skilled in being passive-aggressive with the guilt trip, and he's the best at it.
**'''Lockwarden of the Shadowkeepers''': The Shadowkeepers are the shield host specialized in guarding the vaults of Terra and the abominations within, one of which is an archaeotech monstrosity formed from a Singing Billy Bass. The Lockwarden seems to end all his sentences with shades emotes and has a...peculiar manner of speech. <s>He seems to have helped Kitten deal with his break up with Shado</s>'''NOT FUCKING CANON''' <s>and still gives him advice on the ma</s>'''NO NO NO'''. Love is a strange thing, dude
**'''Santodes''': Yep, you guessed it, a fourth Pillar-stodes, referencing Santana from JoJo, and voiced by none other than Curtis "'''Takahata101'''" Arnott himself. Santodes is a FULLY CLOTHED blue Contemptor-Achillus Dreadnought with a fabulous head of golden hair and a fascination for his frame that's on tier with his living counterparts. Santodes had previously been identified as the Custodes who threw himself in front of the Emperor (stripped down to his loin-cloth, no less) to try to upstage Ollanius Pius' sacrifice.

[[Image:High Lords Text.jpg|thumb|right]]
*'''The [[High Lords of Terra]]''': The people responsible for running the Imperium itself. Despite this the majority of the High Lords never really discuss or do anything to the betterment of the Imperium and just act senile, once planning to outlaw breathing for everyone but them. For this reason, Magnus wants them all dead and handle governing the Imperium directly, but Kitten may have succeeded in convincing them not to fuck over the Imperium so much. Apparently, the High Lords are commonly recruited from the Old Folks' planet, a retirement home so terrible that the High Lords have banned ever saying its name. There are currently 5 (technically 7 if you count the Head Scribe and Fyodor) High Lords featured, aside from the Captain-General. The High Lords are currently enjoying their time off/wallowing in misery thanks to the fact that the Emperor has pretty much made them obsolete, especially after he made making new laws illegal.
[[Image:High Lords 2.jpg|thumb|right]]
:*'''[[Ecclesiarchy|Ecclesiarch]] Decius XXIII''': The only non-senile High Lord (so far, there's still more we haven't seen) aside from the Captain-General, who legitimately takes his post seriously, even standing up to Fyodor and forbidding him to shed a single drop of blood from Terra's population ([[rules lawyer|which Fyodor circumvented by using incendiary weaponry]]). For not screwing up the Emperor's plan, not being an overzealous bag of insanity, and rushing to try to save the Emperor when Fyodor stormed Terra's Palace he is allowed to stay leader of the Ecclesiarchy, even as the Emps is disbanding it/just changing every mention of '''God'''-Emperor to '''Man'''-Emperor, due to the fact that he and those who obeyed Emprah now are in charge of reforming the Imperium from the craphole it has sunk in. [[Space Marines|Loyalty to the man rather than the word]] finally paid off. Just about everyone mocks him for his hat, which gets limp or...stiff depending on his emotional state, leading to his nickname of Pope Shafthat XXIII [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pq-6aj9sNvo He proved that despite the crap others give him, he can make some pretty rousing speeches on the fly]. The Emperor is honestly pleased that Decius is genuinely loyal. When told by the Emperor that Emps is not a god, Decius is disappointed, but does not hesitate to accept it because his loyalty is strong enough that if the Emperor says he is not a god, then he is not a god. He also was ready to do his best to disband the Ministorum despite knowing what the priesthood would do to him for such "heresy" because the Emperor said to. Ultimately, his genuine loyalty is heavily rewarded by the Emperor. It probably also helps that the Emperor doesn't force Decius or the Ecclesiarchy to stop worshipping him altogether, just as a God, instead allowing them to worship him as [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|the pinnacle of humanity and what everyone should aspire to]].
:*'''Fabricator-General of Mars''': The head of the Adeptus Mechanicus. Is so old that his voice stutters every time he speaks like a broken version of Stephen Hawking in addition to always speaking in little tunes. Constantly does nothing but insult his fellow High Lords for being made of flesh and recommend they swap out their fleshy bits for mechanical augmentations. According to other Magos, the Fabricator-General is also a massive junkie and party animal, and is currently drunk on margaritas on Mars. Has recently been revealed to be utilizing the Proteus Protocol to survive repeated explosions.
:*'''Grand Provost Marshal''': Head of the Adeptus Arbites, who does nothing but propose to make everything illegal. [[Judge Dredd|HE IS THE LAW]]... at least until The Emperor declares the act of making new laws to be illegal, something which utterly devastates him.
:*'''Master of the Administratum''': The head of the Imperial bureaucracy. A bit less inept than the rest of the High Lords, he acts like your everyday senile grandfather.
:*'''Commander Militant of the Imperial Guard''': The leader of the Imperial Guard. Doesn't do much, apart from comparing war to the good ol' days. Aware enough to know that the removal of minor luxuries (laxatives, breathing) may have detrimental effects on the Imperial Guard. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUrhqCkYwps Lays a sicknasty dilarius biznasty beat.]

----

===The Ultrasmurfs===
Very obnoxious and accompanied by the Ultramarine Chant from Chaos Gate. They apparently cannot be defeated due to their literal use of the "holy Codex" from their "Spiritual Liege." Managing to do nigh impossible feats. While the Emperor is not amused with them at all, he tolerates their OP plot armor to do impossible tasks for him such as retrieving Magnus from the Eye of Terror (with their Gellar Field turned ''off'', of all things) with minimal casualties, finding and sneaking the rest of Vulkan's artifacts onto Nocturne, and (currently) outdancing the best Harlequin dancers in the Webway while searching for Jaghatai Khan. Other impossible tasks in the past include using a giant Necron Pylon as a melee weapon and outfighting a Transcendent C'tan shard.
*'''[[Marneus Calgar]]''': Chapter Master of the Ultramarines. He's currently depressed and frustrated at the state of the Ultramarines where they basically win everything (due to their plot armor) as well as their strict adherence to the Codex Astartes to the point that it's no longer fun, nor satisfying, to win anymore. Due to this, his mood is eternally grumpy, only made worse by Sicarius' constant gloating. He actually seems to care deeply for the men under his command as he gets extremely pissed off when Sicarius put his marines at unnecessary risk to achieve another victory to inflate his reputation, so one could assume Sicarius is the exception. He also appears in a flashback during the second [[Tyranid]] war in Ultramar, where he did battle with the Swarmlord. [https://youtu.be/cB79pnU2f2I?t=5m30s While he put up a valiant fight, he found that they were equally matched, and thus, declared it a draw.] Blatant hints point towards a deal he made with [[Matt Ward|something]] to give his Chapter win more victories (hinted to have begun during the Second Tyrannic War), which he deeply regrets.
*'''[[Illiyan Nastase]]''': Chief Astropath of the Ultramarines. He received a brief mention during Episode 25, when he delivered a message to the Ultramarines Chapter Master, but did not receive any screentime. Marneus Calgar is deeply resentful of Illiyan's existence, and very adamantly insists on pushing him out of the spotlight and removing all mentions of the half-Eldar's existence. Because yes, Half-eldar serving the Ultramarines are canon. (Seriously, why does everyone forget Nastase was never a marine to begin with?)
*'''<s>[[Cato Sicarius]]</s> Cunto Shitarius''': Current Captain of the Ultramarines 2nd company. His persona's played as Cato's canon need to be a glory hound and the embodiment of the Ultramarines' plot armor, turned up to eleven, where he only cares for his advancement in the ranks of the Ultramarines and not much else. He apparently undertook the mission to capture Magnus the Red. Alone. Without his gellar field turned on, and his survival at such mission greatly pissed off Calgar to no ends (and if we take the Main TTS reaction thread on Spacebattles into consideration, '''''HIS OWN PRIMARCH!!!!!!!'''''), who was hoping he would die. He is also very verbal about his intention to take the position of Chapter Master, which ''greatly'' upsets, or rather, very pisses off, Calgar (as Cato's dialogues largely implies that he's better than him and wishes for his death), to the point where he threatens to perform an [[Imperial Fists|"Imperial Fisting"]] upon Sicarius with his Gauntlets if he continues such thoughts. He also has a very egotistical, effeminate voice that can only be described as "the incredibly sanctimonious love child of tinnitus and a jackhammer", and he always refers to himself in the third person. [https://youtu.be/bM8YGsAmeqE?t=1m56s It's goddamn hilarious.]
*'''[[Uriel Ventris]]''': Current Captain of the Ultramarines 4th company. He doesn't have a lot of development yet, but appears as a close friend of Calgar and is the only one who's noticed the Ultramarines' theme of somehow always completing utterly suicidal missions. He comes to realize that some unknown force is tampering with space and time to rewrite history,([https://youtu.be/eG82ruvH0jc?t=120 Probably has to do with an ''itsy bitsy little'' '''SHARD''']) covering up the Ultramarines past failures and playing up their successes to impossible levels, and starts to suspect that Calgar knows more about this than he's letting on. He also loves to talk about the unique green trim in his armor. He ALSO hates Cunto Shitarius. Who doesn't?
*'''[[Roboute Guilliman]]''': The Emperor has regularly made a point of ordering the Custodes Captain-General to have him taken off life-support. Currently, the only reason he's still alive is Kitten winning an epic duel in a [[Yu-Gi-Oh|children's card game]] against the Emperor. The result of his actions and the Codex Astartes horrifies his father. Going by the previous canon of Guilliman perhaps actually regenerating from the wounds that supposedly killed him, the Empra likely wants the time stasis field deactivated so he can finally get off his fucking ass. Though if we're going by official canon, it seems that the Emprah's intervention is no longer necessary. Amusingly, canon Guilliman's reaction to the Imperium upon being woken up isn't ostensibly that different to TTSD Emperor's (minus the swearing, bullying, and psychic temper tantrums).

===Team Friendly Crusade of Friendly Friendship===
*'''[[Ferrus Manus]]:''' Primarch of the [[Iron Hands]]. Due to him being dead, he only appears as a ghost. Strangely, only Vulkan and Corax are able to see and hear him, leading other people like Magnus to think that his brothers have gone insane (probably because they were at Isstvan V and watched him die). He does nothing but tells Vulkan and Corax that they [[Adeptus Mechanicus|(and flesh)]] are weak. As for the latter "-is weak" statement, Vulkan bonks said Skhost saying "the real Ferrus Manus would say the opposite, ya' dumb ghostface idiot" which raises some questions about if it is really his (Ferrus) ghost. Only his head is visible, leading to Vulkan calling him a skull-ghost, or a "Skhost".

====Salamanders====
Salamanders are a bunch of pyromaniacs in Cataphractii Terminator armor, they are infamous for their obsession with fire and appear to be severely deaf; talking in very loud voices, not hearing Kitten freak out next to them or the Ultramarines sneak the artifacts past them while their infamous theme song was blaring, and later not hearing a trapped Corax called out for help. They also seem to be oblivious to their Primarch's perpetual abilities, given that they're utterly shocked whenever Vulkan dies and resurrects again, despite personally witnessing it happen 5 times already, so far.

*'''[[Vulkan]]:''' Primarch of the [[Salamanders]]. After the Ultramarines found the remaining artifacts of Vulkan in secret for the Salamanders, Vulkan returned to the chapter, where his return was greeted with great adulation (VUVUZELAS). He is notably quite crazy, both haunted by the not-ghost with a not-face of Ferrus Manus. He speaks with a distinct South African/Jamaican accent and loves friendship, brotherhood, and cute animals (including Catachan Barking Toads, leading to some snoot-booping hilarity in the spin-offs). Died during his battle with the Beast, after pushing it into a reactor of WAAAGH energy, causing him to occasionally gain an Ork's speech patterns and violent vocabulary afterward (which is hilarious when juxtaposed with his normally friendly speech). Dies again after Magnus unintentionally telepathically crushed him under The Engine of Woes, the trunk of which Vulkan had locked Corvus Corax in, then promptly got better within mere minutes. Has used the [[Grimdark|darkest corner of the universe]] as a place to relax for over 9000 years and work on his hobby, Battlemace 42,000,000. He is currently traveling with Corax & the Salamanders across the Imperium before returning to Terra to finish giving the spine-crushing hugs he wants to give to Magnus. Also, as of Ep.27, Magnus suspects Vulkan had his soul fused with a piece of the Ork gestalt consciousness, effectively making him a half-ork. Vulkan can apparently tap into said energies and channel it through his faith in the Emperor, and can also apparently communicate with animals via the power of friendship.
*'''[[Vulkan He'stan|He'stan]]''': Forgefather of the Salamanders. He is seen sleeping on an anvil on fire when Cato Sicarius delivered the remaining artifacts to the Salamanders, literally driving them through the wall of the fortress into the Forgefather's personal chambers. Thinking he found the artifacts in his sleep, he subsequently declares himself to be best forgefather (and doesn't know that Vulkan was actually hiding for 9000 years in a very dark corner on the same planet). He also has a very Girlish Scream.
*'''[[Tu'Shan]]''': Chapter Master of the Salamanders. Rocks a sweet set of dragon armor and has a very knightly manner of speech. Expect to hear the phrase "My Primach!" in some form a few times per appearance.

====Raven Guard====
A bunch of emotional, apologetic emos in Corvus armor with Jump Packs and Lightning Claws.

*'''[[Corvus Corax]]''': Primarch of the [[Raven Guard]]. Apparently spent the past few millennia on [[Nocturne]], trapped in a 3rd millennium smart car referred to as the "Engine of Woes" while writing edgy poetry. Is accidentally freed by Magnus when he uses the Engine of Woes to fight off Vulkan. Currently accompanying the Salamanders on a trip to the Imperial Palace. His personality is, hilariously, one of an edgy teenage goth, with his self-hate and moodiness turned up to eleven. Wants to show the Emprah his edgy poetry. Magnus and Kitten freak out when he appears. Looks surprisingly like John Wick, or Samurai Jack during Season 5 with unwashed ammonia encrusted long hair. Willing to accept his own death rather than bring it upon his friends and allies. Is currently traveling the Imperium with Vulkan, where he constantly acts as the morose voice of reason to contrast Vulkan's joyful insanity.
*'''[[Kayvaan Shrike]]''': Raven Guard Master of Shadows (AKA Chapter Master - '''because why not'''.). He seems to be fairly bipolar, going from jovial to depressed at the drop of a hat. Also makes bird noises. Vulkan noted he was also extremely polite and apologetic; often saying sorry for things that weren't even his fault or deflecting apologies to him for misfortune by saying he deserves it for being neglectful.
*'''Kadus''': In lore, Kadus is one of the most esteemed Space Marines in the Raven Guard Chapter and is one of Chapter Master Kayvaan Shrike's closest personal friends, having served together with him alongside his other friend, Corus, since their time as initiates. In the series, he accompanies Shrike and acts as his more level headed counterpart.

===The Deathwatch===

*'''Calato''': A [[Deathwatch]] Champion from the Dark Angels. Originally from BEHEMOTH, Calato served under Inquisitor [[Kryptman]], spending more time irritably fixing recaf rather than fighting Xenos. Calato later shows up trapped in the warp with Karamazov and the rest of the Inquisition, where he had the balls to call Leman Russ a dogfucker to his face. Naturally, Russ was not amused. Later they made up over a pint of Fenrisian Ale, with Calato drunkenly embracing Russ as his "uncle... dog... my duncle!" He is later seen fighting against [[Plaguebearers]] during their defense of Khaine's gate, where Wilford forcefully dragged him out of combat after failing their squad's morale check, all the while demanding vengeance.

*'''Wilford''': A [[Deathwatch]] Apothecary from the Ultramarines, who mostly agreed to join the Deathwatch as he is unable to stand his chapter's insufferable self-superior attitude. Originally appeared in BEHEMOTH, but accompanied Calato during Fyodor's assault in the Emperor palace, and subsequently banished to the Warp during that event. He's obsessed with keeping everyone's health optimal, constantly berating and advising them to avoid further or future injury and illness.

===The Dark Angels===

The Inner Circle are a ragingly paranoid group of neurotic basketcases, far more so than in canon. Keep having to make non-circle marines [[RIP AND TEAR |"repent"]] for overhearing them discussing the Fallen very loudly.

*'''[[Azrael]]:''' Chapter Master of the [[Dark Angels]]. He's depicted as an overly paranoid wreck, obsessing about [[Cypher]], the [[Fallen Angels]] and constantly telling any non-inner circle member that reports to them that they're doing nothing suspicious and heretical. The fact that he had two newly indoctrinated inner circle members killed because they stumbled onto knowledge of the fallen (that he spat out in front of them) is played for laughs.
*'''[[Belial]]:''' Grand Master of the Deathwing. His emo personality is hilariously turned to eleven whenever he perceives himself or his chapter as not being perfect, which is every waking second. This curiously allows him to become more reasonable than the rest of the Inner Circle, allowing him to converse with other people that doesn't outright accuse or threaten them. He has an effeminate yet whiny voice similar to Thurston Howell III.
*'''[[Asmodai]]:''' The Dark Angels' Master of Repentance (which basically means "Violent Murdering" to him). Not nearly as a fun police officer as his canon counterpart; his personality is psychotically intense, often telling people to redeem themselves or he'll do the actual redemption. However, given his views on "redemption", it usually doesn't end well (it tends to involve a crozius to the face). He's also as every bit as paranoid as Azrael. [https://youtu.be/M56aycpd9kA?t=19m55s REPENT, MOTHERFUCKER.]
*'''[[Watchers in the Dark|Watcher in the Dark]] (aka Snurko):''' A Watcher that accompanies Azrael, who is apparently the only one of its kind who can talk. It suddenly spoke of Cypher while in the presence of two newly indoctrinated inner-circle Angels, [https://youtu.be/M56aycpd9kA?t=17m48s prompting Azrael to hilariously beat the shit out of it.] His speech and mannerisms appear to be based off Orko from the He-man series.

===The White Scars===
*'''[[Jaghatai Khan]] (Honoured Be His Name)''': Primarch of the White Scars. During the Horus Humbug, he managed to pull off the amazing feat of standing still for more than 20 seconds (while standing on a Razorback going at 200 miles per hour, but still). After the Codex announcement, he may be in [[Commorragh]], as he desired to [[meme|go fast]] and beat [[Dark Eldar|"those knife-eared assholes"]] in their jetbike races. Not much is known about his whereabouts right now, but it does mean that we will get to see him. Also, the Emperor has stolen at least one of his bikes from his room.
*'''[[Kor'sarro Khan]]''': The White Scars' Master of the Hunt and "the only White Scar worth mentioning". While he hasn't appeared, he is talked about at length in a public broadcast on the subject of the White Scars chapter. While Emps and co. spend more time mocking Voldorius, The Emperor does briefly question why he isn't their Chapter Master, which is probably the biggest endorsement an individual Space Marine has gotten since the Horus Heresy.

===The Black Templars===
According to Rogal Dorn, the Templars are absolute lunatics obsessed with "PURGING WITH MY KIIIIIIIIIIIIIN". They enjoy listening to Linkin <s>Loyalists</s> Purge in their drop pods and ramming swords through Xenos skulls. Actually not that far off canon. They may be slightly improving after being forced/convinced to have ordinary humans, psykers, librarians, ratlings and all other sorts of abhumans in their ranks.
*'''Chaplain [[Grimaldus]]:''' Shows up in a filler short where he tries to ban the holiday of Sanguinala. The other Black Templars tell him he can't, prompting him to go to his bed and throw a loyalist tantrum.
*'''High Marshal Helbrecht:''' Received an anger management course from the Emperor and the custodians and was semi-convinced to teach the Black Templars to not be ''completely'' batshit insane. Also has a voice like that of a clown goblin gargling marbles. Prefers sitting on things that are [[Space Marines|''stiff'' and very ''hard'']] to things that are [[Tau|''soft'' and ''limp'']]. Was very pleased with the prospect of the Emperor shitting on the UltraSmurfs, a phrase he interpreted as being a literal desire to defecate upon them. [[/d/|'''Nasty.''']]

===The Space Corgis===
Renamed by official decree by the Emperor himself after being informed of how everything in their vernacular seemed to have been prefaced by the word "wolf", including curse words, such as Leman Russ replacing the word "fucking" with "wolfing". Their initiation rites for aspirants culminates in sending them through the Gate of Morkai to endure a [[Tzeentch|"squid"]] screaming at them without getting a boner (your guess as to ''how'' that might even occur).

*'''[[Leman Russ]]''': Primarch of the Space Corgis, been hiding in the Warp for eons and has the punching speed of a Super Saiyan. Has a verbal staredown with Karamazov, then proceeds to relentlessly mock him while obsessing over wolves. He also gives a thorough dressing-down of the 3 branches of the Inquisition, as well as the Deathwatch, Tempestus Scions and Sisters of Battle accompanying them (delivering the infamous line "Daemons of Khorne are gonna eat ya out like ice cream sandwiches once your Red Rage begins!"). He even has his own version of the [[meme|Navy Seal Copypasta]]. Despite being a Viking, he has a pseudo-Scottish accent. Magnus has accused him of being a furry-fuck. He is currently teaching the Inquisition how to survive in the Warp by turning them into a drunken mob and killing innocent daemons. This includes pranks of various sorts, such as crank calling Furies, cockblocking a Daemonette at a bar (which actually kills it), and assaulting one of Nurgle's daemons with a fuckload of soap ''(and a bathtub)''. After learning that Magnus is currently located in the Imperial Palace, he decided to get out of the Warp and go back to Terra; this journey currently includes surviving an army from all the Chaos Gods led by some of the most infamous Daemons, then walking through the Gate of Khaine into Commuragh, and being escorted to the Dark Eldar Overlord Vect, alongside with Karamazov and Kaldor Draigo.

*'''Space Wolves [[Wulfen]]''': Any mention of the Wulfen is normally echoed with someone bellowing "[[Gorkamorka|Digganobz]]" in a demented manner. This is referred within a Youtube short: the Grandmaster of the Grey Knights, Sir Covan Leorac, was presented an image of the Wulfen and he called them Digganobz. And yes, they really ''do'' look like Digganobz.

===The Grey Knights===
*'''[[Kaldor Draigo]]''': The Supreme Grand Master of the [[Grey Knights]], who is cursed to wander The Warp for eternity. Centuries wandering unrealspace however, eroded Draigo's sanity, which might not be a bad thing as his craziness allows him to both stay in the warp without any trouble and murder daemons left and right (remember: the warp is a reflection of the minds of mortals and psykers can influence it to a higher degree. Draigo's insanity and powerful psychic talents allow him to shrug off the madness of the warp, simply because he believes without a shadow of a doubt that he can). He's made several appearances, first is annoying Fyodor's attack force after being banished into the warp by Magnus and later summoned by Kitten to handle Magnus' tantrum, which he does so in a split-second offscreen using inexplicable Mary Sue powers to defeat him. He now hangs around with Russ and company and is the only one besides Russ who can safely traverse the warp sober and troll daemons without his head exploding. Has apparently been sending Daemons (in the form of ordinary villagers, with jobs and families) into the "Super Warp" by throwing vortex grenades at them (given that they're already in The Warp, the grenades would suck them to an even deeper version of The Warp). Unfortunately, his [[Matt Ward|Wardian plot armor]] is not enough to protect him from one of the most powerful forces in the Warhammer universe: bad dice rolls. This shows quite painfully during the battle at Khaine’s Gate, where he repeatedly fails his psychic tests and charge attempts, though he’s still a beast in close-combat, as the Masque of Slaanesh can attest.

*'''Covan Leorac''': A Grand Master of the Grey Knights. He appears in a short video where some Grey Knights report <strike>solid evidence of the [[Wulfen]] among the Space Wolves</strike> FAHCK YOU! DIGGANOBZ. However, Covan is absolutely convinced that they're [[Gorkamorka|Digganobz]] and not Wulfen, even hitting a Knight in the head for disagreeing with. Whether this is a jab at GW heavily basing the look of Wulfen on Digganobs or is in conscious denial to prevent the Grey Knights from waging a costly war upon the Space Wolves (again) is up to interpretation.

*'''Dread Knight''': The Emperor thinks its design is silly and looks like a baby cradle), but the Dread Knight proves to be as brave as it is massive, heroically charging at Skarbrand only to be made into a red paste after it initiated physical contact with him.

===The Blood Angels===
*'''Sanguinius''': Fabulous Hawkboy, and Primarch of the Blood Angels who is very, '''very''' dead. BUT he can appear lying face-up, head somewhat melty, in the visions/dreams of the faithful. (Though apparently only whilst they are heavily drugged on Ork Fungus...)

===The [[Imperial Guard]] (Aka:'Astra Militarum', 'Imperial Army', or 'the wall of guns')===
The billions upon billions of baseline human, GIs, squaddies, grunts, footsloggers, meat shields which does the majority of land based warfare. They normally dont grab much of the medias attention as a image of a man sitting in a soggy trench with a torch and cardboard armour whilst super powered beings and aliens march over them isnt that uplifting.
*'''[[Sly Marbo]]''': [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kXU14hkuSI The One-Man Army] and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCMNWAJiz5Y Hero of the Imperium!], he first appears in the April Fools episode where he was apparently recruited by Horus. Appeared in the real series, saving Little Billy and some farmers from the Kabal of the Flayed Skull in the middle of their raid on a random Agri-World. Later showed up at the invitation of Lucius to the Slaaneshmas Special where he begins beating up Typhus, Ahriman, and Lucius. While the scene turns to static, Lucius and Ahriman later show up on screen again. They commented that he was apparently a pretty great guy. Lucius apparently mixed up his contact info with Kharn's at one point. Later shows up to save Corvus Corax from the Catachan Barking Toad perched on his head. He's stated to be the single most decorated soldier in the entire history of humanity despite only being a Private, and "his aerodynamic musculature and knowledge of Catachan jungle tree buoyancy" help him "simulate flight" (which is apparently interstellar). Confirmed to NOT be a missing Primarch. Exclusively communicates by screaming, specifically the one from the Dawn of War I opening cinematic where the sergeant orders the charge up the hill. He also weaponizes the subtitles of the scream by hitting enemies with them both as a ram and as a club.
*'''[[Ollanius Pius]]''': Makes a split-second appearance in [https://youtu.be/0Vh_N8CpcL0?t=900 in Rogal Dorn's flashback] before being headbutted to death by Horus. (''Shame on you if you don't know this super dude, so read his history now!'') In another episode, the Emperor takes the time to set the record straight that while Ollanius did, in fact, sacrifice himself for the Emperor, a Terminator and Custodes quickly followed suit in order to not be shown up by a mere mortal human. He was not amused by their transparent attempt to outshine Ollanius.
*'''[[Death Korps of Krieg]]''': As of the second voxcast, they can ''finally'' rest assured that the Emperor has personally forgiven them. What the Death Korps will do now that they've officially redeemed themselves remains to be seen, assuming they actually want to do something other than fight and die in battle.
*'''[[Catachan Jungle Fighters]] (pronounced "Kata-kan")'''(by Straken, confusing everyone): Elaborated on in the first episode of "BRO TRIP 40,000: A Tale of Two Primarchs", being saved from a Slaaneshi Daemon invasion by the intervention of Vulkan and Corvus. Armed primarily only with knives (albeit some of the best knives in the universe due to the special Catachan metals) and basic clothing (shirts optional) in one of the most hazardous places in the universe, their survival and natural Space Marine-like physique provides a massive boost to the morale of the Imperium in a manner known as "marketability". Their culture is similar to that of Orks, measuring knife size to determine rank.
*'''Colonel "Iron Hands" Straken''': Leads the Catachan II regiment and is extremely good at guiding(tongue lashing)his troopers. Sly Marbo is also officially designated to the II regiment.
*'''[[Attilan Rough Riders]]''' Mongolian/Hun/Wide sweeping steppe based cavalry. Very superstitious (they try and kill Vulkan!) and hard to be completely converted by the Ecclesiarchy. As is typical of legendary guard regiments, they are brave and self-sacrificing. They can also pilot aircraft whilst still atop their horses (Some suspect the horses are the real pilots).
**'''Captain Mogul Kamir''': Leads the Attilan regiment who are going with the 'Friendship Force'. Likes drinking from the skulls of his fallen foes (a nod to Pre-Islamic Turk practices).
**'''The King of Khanasan''': Head of the Attilan Rough Riders and fellow skull-goblet enthusiast, to the point of draping his entire outfit in them. Voiced by Alfabusa himself.
**'''Starass''': The sole Astropath of the Attilans, and naturally an actual ass. Apparently, more than adequate enough for the Riders, though her language has no concept of the words "mass planetary destruction."

===Sisters of Battle===
*[[Ephrael Stern]]: The infamous Daemonifuge has finally reached the Black Library, but she's none too pleased with the Eldar's selection of food. [[-4_Str|Treads the path of the swole]]. She tells off Cegorach to his face, causing him to sulk off (incidentally allowing Custodisi and Wamuudes to enter the library).

===Adeptus Mechanicus===
*'''Reimleiz the Theorist:''' An attendant techpriest whom the Emperor calls "random mechanicus guy". He was originally searching for a motorbike for Rogal Dorn to use, inside Jaghatai Khan's shed. As of the Black Templars podcast, Emps made him an Inquisitor and then commanded him to find out more about the Omega Vault. He was inexplicably on the floor at the time. Is incapable of making any statement without phrasing it as a question and is constantly asking himself trivial questions for no real reason (such as asking if legs are actually vehicles driven by tiny snotlings). Also has a penchant for slapping his cyberdong on toasters, which many mechanicus adepts around the system appear to be visibly fixated upon.
*'''Dolphan Gruss''': A Magos Explorator sent to Orior by the [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Admech]] to investigate the planet's STC. He is very blunt and dismissive when dealing with "fleshbags", and does so while speaking with a German accent. His most remarkable feature, however, is a drill that replaces his right hand, which, predictably, makes him the butt of many [[anime]]-related jokes, much to his dismay.
*'''[[Belisarius Cawl]]''': He hasn't done anything to Gulliman (yet, anyway), but Rogal Dorn apparently did see him talking with Gulliman about something in the past. Apparently, he's not that great at keeping secrets, as there are rumors circulating about him working on [[Primaris Marines|something related to Thunder Warriors]] that even managed to reach the Imperial Palace. The Emperor understandably expects little to come from this (he will be completely surprised), expecting Cawl's work to be hindered by the Mechanicus' usual dogma.

===The Inquisition===
*'''Lord [[Inquisitor]] Fyodor Karamazov''': Inquisitor of the [[Ordo Hereticus]] and a colossal jerk even among inquisitors. When the Emperor disbanded the Inquisition, he went ballistic and led an entire crusade to Terra to purge what he thinks is heresy. Ended up in the Warp via Magnus for his troubles, after being trolled in a magnificent manner by being told he is a fragment of the Emperor. This was all [[Just As Planned|the Emperor's plan for sending out the message in the first place]], to lure in all the more destructive Inquisitors to get rid of them. He's not out of the game yet, though, and is determined to return to the Emperor. He has become substantially crazier after Leman Russ' Warp Survival lessons. Completely convinced he's the Emperor and seems to regret what a horrible father "he" was more than Emprah himself.
**'''Star-Fyodperor''': After a huge messy battle at Khaine's gate, Karamazov became the host of the Star Child. So basically he ''is'' the Emperor for real now. Apparently, the Star Child needed to possess someone extremely entitled and hypocritical like big E himself. Thanks to Star Child basically doing all the talking, planning, and overall thinking He now represents the kind, fatherly side of the Emperor that is sorely lacking from his throne-bound counterpart, complete with dad jokes.
[[Image:Domi.png|thumb|right|''"KILL THEM ALL, KILL THEM ALL!"'']]
*'''Dominique''': Voiced by Gonzo the Great. The sentient scribe servitor on Fyodor's Throne of Judgement. He comically makes fun of Fyodor on several occasions and generally breaks the serious atmosphere that the Lord Inquisitor tries to project. He also has a curious predilection for sandpaper cigarettes and a rapacious drug habit. Died inexplicably during the Inquisition's drunken rampage, most likely due to alcohol poisoning. It is never explained why Fyodor tolerated his nonsense for so long, but as Dominique regularly got away with sass sufficient to warrant a summary execution for a planetary governor, let alone a servitor, and Fyodor is not portrayed as being a particularly stable or calm individual, it's clear *something* was in play keeping Dominique employed and alive.
**Turns out he had a fate-bound duty to mold Fyodor into the Star Child's ideal host, an ill-tempered hypocrite with a god complex. He was allowed to see Fyodor one last time in exchange for that service, then got ferried to the afterlife by [[Saint Celestine]] her-holy-fucking-self to the tune of ten thousand fans weeping manly tears. His carcass is still perched on the Throne of Judgment, but most of the meat has rotted away by now. He's currently interred into a white-and-gold sarcophagus created when Fyodor became the Star Child's host.
[[Image:Mall.png|thumb|right]]
*'''Grand Master Elirush''': A Grey Knight Grand Master, who represents the Inquisition's Ordo Malleus. The most level-headed person in the group, who speaks with a smothered accent that Alfa masks as "waffles" (due to his VA being Eliphas, who is Belgian. If it isn't obvious, that's also the basis for his name). He attempted to avenge his fallen brothers who were killed by Kairos during the battle at Khaine's gate, but mistakenly attributed it to Skarbrand (much to the former's dismay). He was killed after inconveniencing Skarbrand, who despises such things.
[[Image:Here.png|thumb|right]]
*'''Inquisitor Adrielle Quist''': One of the Inquisitors accompanying Fyodor whom you'd recognize if you've ever seen them. A Xeno fetishist, evidence suggests she is actually a tsundere for [[Genestealers]], and only dreams of being held in the strong, manly arms of her [[Extra heresy|Broodlord-kun]]. She appears to be the bad cop of the group with a short temper and a rough, Russian accent. She claims that the letter of disbanding inquisition was written by a genestealer cult under the Emperor's name. While stuck in the warp with Fyodor and the rest, she assaults [[Lord of Change|Kairos]] after asking if he's a Genestealer, naturally not caring which of his heads answered "Yes". Even mentioning Genestealers in her presence causes her to fly into a berzerker rage. Later, during the Halloween special, she is apparently able to briefly manifest into realspace, similar to Kaldor Draigo, whenever someone mentions anything about Genestalers. She was last seen during the defense of Khaine's gate while intoxicated, where she mistakes Skarbrand for a Genestealer (further angering Skarbrand as he dislikes misinterpretations) and ascended after being killed by him.
[[Image:Xen.png|thumb|right]]
*'''Inquisitor Donklas''': One of the Inquisitors accompanying Fyodor, who represents the Ordo Hereticus. He appears as an Inquisitor dressed in black and using a bolt pistol with a sight mount (which is exactly from the front cover of [[Dark Heresy]]). Don't let his soft-spoken tone fool you - this guy gets aroused at the thought of executing other people regardless of what they've done. He is in favor of the door-kicking-and-burning-building type of [[Exterminatus]], just like a medieval witch hunter. He is possibly the same Inquisitor as the one in the mask (who snickers arousedly at executing friendlies and wonders where the mask came from). He is so far the only Inquisitor who managed to survive the battle at Khaine's gate, mainly due to "enforcing discipline at the back". He is so far the only one of 3 main inquisitors who has survived up to this point.
*'''Inquisitor Javerticus''': An Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor and the most dedicated and charismatic of them all, and also an awesome singer and swordsman. Sadly, the Grey Knights don't seem to comprehend his awesomely dramatic greatness. Named after the [[Lawful Stupid|obsessive]] Inspector Javert (from Victor Hugo's ''Les Misérables'').
*'''[[Jokaero|Torquemada Coteaz]]''': One of the Inquisitors who joined Fyodor's assault into the Imperial Palace. He shows up after Fyodor's forces was blocked off by a force of loyal Ecclesiarchy priests led by Decius in the palace, but breaches their defenses by throwing a barrel of Jokaero at the defenders. This plan causes Fyodor to lose any respect for him, which solicits a disheveled response from [[Awesome|Torquemada, telling him to get off his Throne of Judgement and tell him to his face or use his multi-melta to do what he's too pathetic to]]. Fyodor backs off and lets him leave. So far he appears to be the only sane Inquisitor, snarling at Fyodor to not execute the Emperor for whatever offense he may pull out of his ass. He's also busy with [[The Lord Inquisitor|making a film]], which is why he didn't stay to see Fyodor's plans go to the Warp.
*'''[[Militarum Tempestus|Tempestus Scions]]''' - A hapless squad of Inquisitorial Stormtroopers comprised of Scions: Grant, Valentine, Matilda, Stuart, and led by Tempestor Cromwell. They constantly bicker between each other due to Stuart's pessimism, Matilda's blind optimism, and Grant's panicky disposition, but is constantly held in-line by Tempestor Cromwell. They're seen during the battle at Khaine's Gate, where they're all surprised that they've somehow survived, despite their [[Taurox]] roadblock being destroyed and the Grey Knights being slaughtered.
**Coincidentally [[Just as Planned|or not]], they're all named after Allied [[Tank|tanks]] from World War 2 (probably not, what with their thick English accents, and Matilda's preoccupation with "tankyness.").
*'''Inquisitor Headsmash''': Hangs around on a ship in low orbit waiting for heresy to occur. Has a heavily reinforced Exterminatus button which he gets a LOT of use from - as the name implies, he hits it repeatedly using his head. Has the enviable talent of hearing heresy from orbit. He was about to retire after his 40,000th straight Exterminatus, but due to Draigo, he got sent to Commorragh along with his entourage (which includes a Jokaero and his Exterminatus button).
*'''Ex-Inquisitor Kryptman''': It's a bit weird that this guy is hanging around since all the other Inquisitors hate him, but whatever. Considered too violent and too hypocritical for the Inquisition, as amazing as that achievement is, he is nonetheless really good at his job; claims he's even able to survive against Eldar mind games by seeing through the truth being disguised as a lie knowing full well that the humans will assume it's a lie while knowing the Eldar are lying about telling the truth about lying. Also carries a pimpin' cane with a gun in it.
*'''Inquisitor Obiwan Sherlock Clousseau''': Yep he appears in episode 26 part 2! He's from a more [[Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader|'jovial' time of early 40K]].

===General Populous of the Imperium ('Plebs')===
*'''Little Billy''': A running gag character in the series. His appearance is a psychic child who made himself a crude power-armor costume using cardboard boxes, with Alfabusa's grey and blue livery for colors. The gag about him is that Billy is constantly subjected to lethal/traumatizing events, yet still survives to appear again, leading to a joke that he is actually a perpetual. So far he's been: run over by a space marine attack bike, kidnapped and thrown into a Dark Eldar slave pit ''twice'', and implied to have been molested by Lucius after contacting him using a psychic link and suddenly appearing before him, then hunted across the cosmos by Lucius during Slaaneshmas, and hammered in the face by a Deathwatch member before almost getting eaten by Tyranids in [https://youtu.be/mabM64rAd4k?t=25m32s| Behemoth]. He's also apparently talked to the High Lords at least once, since the Grand Provost Marshal hallucinates him. To date the only good thing to happen to him is Sly Marbo rescuing him after some internal deb-'''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'''-ting.
*'''The citizens of Hive World Purgatory''': Originally appearing in Alfa's Upper Hive games, hive world Purgatory appears a few times in the series proper. Its citizens are extremely idiotic and prone to murdering each other over the slightest suspicion. It's also been the victim of a recent Crotch Rot epidemic, and multiple Genestealer invasions.
*'''The Citizens Of The Imperium''': In special episodes where the Emperor answers mail from citizens of the Imperium (most of which is questions asked by watchers of the series), Loyalist humanity plus an odd Xeno or Chaos entity ask questions of him. These are supposed to be sorted by ''Little Kitten'' and later Magnus as well, but quite a few stupid ones get through to the point that without the aid of the cuddly Centurion, the Emperor's frustration causes Warpstorms which obliterate chunks of the universe.
*'''Detective Bruce Norring''': Appears in the Halloween specials. With most of the Inquisition missing, Bruce is put on the case of chasing down shady heretics on hive world Purgatory before unwittingly uncovering a Genestealer cult and nearly made into a genehost - only to get saved by a completely sloshed Inquisitor from the warp.
*'''Hobo Guardsman''': also known as "Hobo-chan." Like Billy, he exists to be traumatized by the grim darkness of the universe. First he becomes an unwilling recipient of Lucius' charity efforts, that being a sandwich made from ''"freshly milked [[daemonette]] [[trap|milk]]"'', then later he gets harassed by the [[Adeptus Arbites]] for adding rat meat to his rations to make them more edible. Fed up with the bullshit, he decides to join Chaos, getting warped away before his planet is destroyed by Exterminatus. He was later seen smashed by Lucius during the Slaaneshmas Special. He was in the Webway with the Ultramarines. Last seen in the dungeons under the Imperial Palace.
*'''Tour Guide''': A guy who gives tours of the Imperial Palace. He gets summoned(dragged) into the throne room and abruptly told by the Emperor to read the names of a bunch of Dark Eldar weapons without any given reason, which he does without hesitation. He may read other lists later. He appears to be some sort of psyker as he could sense Magnus' return before he teleported into the throne room. Poor guy is also losing his sanity due to all the batshit craziness happening around him.

===Eldar===
After the Eldar Collapse, these Eldar decided that unlimited Lust and Violence wasn't a positive influence to their souls and thus became elfy space-monks, all calm and serene until they decide to fight then its elfy warrior-monks!.
*'''[[Eldrad]] Ulthran:''' Eldar Farseer of Craftworld Ulthwé who is one of the biggest dicks in the Galaxy. Is preparing to do pretty much exactly what he ends up doing in Gathering Storm. Tried to convince Asdrubael Vect to distract the Imperium while he attempts to awaken [[Ynnead]], but to no avail. Apparently, he's already contacted Cypher at least once before and seeks to do the same with "the Machine-man from Mars" (most likely Cawl).
*'''[[Cegorach]]''': The Laughing God, shown guarding the Black Library. He encounters Ahriman trying to enter and forcefully boots him out after a bit of trolling. Cegorach has his own spectral audience that laughs at his jokes, and even a voice that adds '''[BAZINGA.]''' to his punchlines. He is plotting the demise of the [[Flesh Eaters]] for saying his Harlequins are in poor taste. In both meanings of the word.
*'''[[Isha]]''': Despite being a kidnapping victim initially, Isha is now (due to Stockholm Syndrome) in a relationship with Nurgle. She hates Tzeentch and Slaanesh, mocking the former and encouraging Nurgle to plague the latter.
*'''[[Khaine]]''': Disappointed and annoyed by all the young Gods around him, sounds like an old man beat-down by life. He mostly hangs out in the warp chat and goes to the gym with Khorne.

===Dark Eldar===
The true descendants after the collapse of the Eldar Empire. There are A LOT of Dark Eldar living in their webway city of Commorragh and with access to a ton of lethal weaponry, its impractical to invade their realm without leaving yourself open to other forces’ attacks.
*'''[[Asdrubael Vect]]:''' Dark Eldar leader who is another one of the biggest dicks in the Galaxy. Is completely disinterested if not mildly amused/irritated with Eldrad's plans and his insistence on dragging him in; believing both Eldrad's visions and Ynnead to be utter nonsense unworthy of his time after 10,000 years worth of pessimistic doomsaying. He appears to have plans of his own that seem to involve Leman Russ, Karamazov, and/or Kaldor Draigo, who emerge from the Gate of Khaine just as he finishes his conversation with Eldrad. Has a habit of setting up violent, hedonistic parties before gassing all the guests (including all rivals) after he leaves early.
*'''[[Lady Malys]]:''' Vect's bitter ex (don't say that to her face, though) who wants to take over Commorragh because "Vect's a prick." Seems to have been taken over by Cegorach, which is not surprising given real lore had her conduct heart transplant surgery on herself with Cegorach's crystal heart. Also French. [[Magical Realm|Sexily]] so.
*'''[[Archon Tahril]]:''' An Archon who is reluctantly under Malys' employment and passive-aggressively lets her know whenever he has to talk to her. He deals with her personality quirks reluctantly. Is also secretly an agent of the C'tan known as the Deceiver.

===Adversaries===
*'''[[Abaddon the Despoiler]]''': Has yet to personally appear in the series, but has so far has been contacting various Chaos Champions to enlist their help with the next Black Crusade. He will ALSO be voiced by the aforementioned Takahata101 (Nappa and [[Hellsing|'''THE CRIMSON FUCKER''']]) of Team Four Star fame.
*'''[[Fulgrim]]''': Has yet to personally appear in the series, but appears to have already joined Abaddon in his plans. He makes his appearance as the person who called Lucius to get him to join Abaddon. Based on the [[Vulkan|current]] [[Corvus Corax|trend]], it wouldn’t be too surprising if he, too, can see Ferrus Manus’s ghost, especially considering he was the one who ''killed him'' and all that.
*'''The Gods of [[Chaos|<s>Chaos</s> <s>Choas</s> <s>Chaos</s> Choas]]''': The gods here are less chaotic than their canon counterparts. More-or-less they just sit around and talk to each other, the way they did prior to the Emperor showing up and making plans to wreck their collective shit.
**[[Tzeentch]] is a petty schoolyard bully/prankster who also likes to engage in pointlessly overthought pseudo-philosophy. He also plays Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth-Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker, shamelessly abusing a [[Yu-Gi-Oh#Archetype|hybrid Spellbook/Jar]] deck made [[WAAC|ENTIRELY FROM BANNED CARDS]]. So far, he is the most prominently featured of the Chaos Gods. Tzeentch lurks behind the Gate of Morkai, fucking with the aspirants sent through by Space Wolves priests; if they're to be believed, he's done something involving "wolf tits" at least once, and [[Wat|Emprah only knows how we're supposed to interpret that]].
**[[Slaanesh]] is a hyperactive masochistic camwhore who steals from Khorne and trolls him and others with sexual innuendos.
**[[Khorne]] is the only half-way normal Chaos God (if that term could ever be applied to the Gods), who is often heard screaming at Slaanesh for being a creepy whore. Has a fairly good relationship with Khaine, though, and they work out together at the gym - he never skips leg day, unlike the Emperor. Ironically, despite being the most prominently featured Chaos God in canon, he's made far fewer on-screen appearances than the other Gods.
**[[Nurgle]] is the only one actually doing any scheming. Has a voice that's really hard to understand without subtitles, and is more focused on his waifu Isha than actually doing anything. When he's upset, he known to release extremely potent [[Wikipedia:Tinea cruris|Crotch]] [[Wikipedia:Candidal intertrigo|Rot]] on Hive-Worlds, which is as nasty as it sounds.
**[[Malal]] makes several short appearances, conversing with the various gods on Spacebook where he declares he will ruin everyone once he becomes canon again by escaping the "Retconnian" (a dimension where the Squats, Horus' soul, and other things that don't exist anymore are banished to) and a second time is shown to exist in a pocket outside canon where he is able to influence things that are canon in subtle ways using the [[Dark Heresy|"Tyrant Star", a wandering sun that gives off black light and incites anarchy and chaos on whatever planet it shines on]]. It appears that his obsession to become relevant again is a harmful one, as Horus and a Squat talk him down from his attempts and console him when he breaks down crying about his futile attempts.
**The [[Great Horned Rat]] appears as a joke to cancel Slaaneshmas forever due to Slaanesh getting demoted in Age of Sigmar and announces "Great Horned Rat Day" as its replacement. Enjoys mocking "non-existent" lesser Chaos Gods and seems to be incapable of not breaking the fourth wall.
*'''[[Lucius the Eternal]]''': Slaanesh's premier champion, who sounds like what would happen if Mickey Mouse turned to Slaanesh and became a drag queen in the process (his first appearance is a direct reference to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g56q3j8NAcw this]). First shown fucking up some Imperial Guardsmen (in all senses of the word) with his warband, laughing like a maniac all the while. He then got a call from Fulgrim, inviting him and his band to join one of Abaddon's [[Black Crusade|"huge parties"]], which he accepted. His absolutely creepy portrayal in the series is quickly becoming one of the scariest (and most enjoyable) things in the franchise, sorta an impressive achievement. Runs a prank show in his spare time, and posts the results to Spacebook. Also planned the 'Slaaneshmas' holiday event, which is broadcast to the whole universe to spread goodwill to humans and overall death to xeno species. Lucius makes a great holo vid host.
*'''[[Ahzek Ahriman]]''': Most powerful sorcerer of the [[Thousand Sons]]. Appears in a short scene where he finally gets access to the [[Black Library]], only to be dicked with, and eventually booted out by [[Cegorach]]. Decided to quit trying to get into the Black Library for a while and take a break, but decided against the latter after being summoned by Abaddon for the Black Crusade. Teamed up with Lucius for Slaaneshmas for the shits and giggles. So far appears to the only rational Chaos Space Marine, acting as a snarky straight man to the antics of the others. On a side-note, he [[Old Man Henderson|huffs grimoires of Big Bad Jujus]], which impresses Lucius. He apparently wants to murder the stars as he finds them too bright for his taste. At the end, he gives a speech about how despite the different worldviews, both sides are still humans and offers the Imperium to have one day per year when instead of killing each other, both sides would have a ceasefire and unite to exterminate aliens instead. Imperials were oddly receptive to that idea...
*'''[[Typhus]]''': Chaos Lord of the [[Death Guard]]. Has the voice of Gilbert Gottfried, with a Strong resemblance to the voice of Real life Comedian Norm McDonald, or Gilbert Gottfried, which he uses to read [[Squad Broken|erotic fanfiction]] for Lucius. Like the other chaos champions, he's been summoned by Abaddon for the Black Crusade. Later shows up to the Slaaneshmas Special to talk about his latest book, which is just his own shit smeared on every page.
*'''[[Kharn|Khârn the Betrayer]]''': The most infamous Khornate Berserker in the World Eaters. He has yet to appear directly in the show; Lucius invited him by Vox to the Slaaneshmas special but only received angry grunts in reply, leading Lucius to believe Angron picked up instead. Apparently, Lucius also mixed up his contact info with Sly Marbo at one point.
*'''[[Huron Blackheart]]''': We cannot confirm his appearance in the series proper, but it appears that he is with [[Abaddon]] in the Season 3 intro, perhaps pointing to an alliance of sorts. Why in the all the names of Chaos he is there, only Alfa (or maybe his voice actor) know.
*'''[[Fabius Bile|<strike>Fabius</strike> <strike>FABULOUS Bile</strike> Bob]]''': Joins in on Lucius' and Ahriman's Slaaneshmas special to announce that he's starting a solo Black Crusade to show up that man-baby Abbadon. Is triggered very seriously if called Bob. He's clearly insane, insisting that a solo Black Crusade means doing things on his own, which even Lucius thought was crazy, not helped by Bile following up by boasting he can clone anyone. He showed off an abomination of a clone of Ahriman (which psychically self-destructed) during the Slaaneshmas Special. Naturally, Ahriman was horrified and disgusted and even Lucius was disturbed.
*'''[[Miriael Sabathiel]]''': The infamous Chaos Sororita shows up, only to get dismissed everywhere she goes and not be taken seriously. Upon learning it was Slaaneshmas, she dons a Santa hat and joins the fun. Earlier, she was in a bad mood for being talked down by a captured Inquisitor (before she beheaded him in frustration), lamented the lost opportunity to torment him, and was enraged at some Noise Marines' amusement at her situation.
*'''The [[Tyranid]] Hivemind''': Attempted to hijack the Chaos Gods' warpchat, but was kicked after too many synapses attempted connections. The Emperor claims that talking to the Tyranid Hivemind is like talking to a herd of hungry sheep.
*'''[[The Masque]]''': A Slaaneshi Daemonette. First appears in BRO TRIP 40,000: A Tale of Two Primarchs while attacking Catachan, apparently because an ample muscle harvest (shaped into Slaanesh's symbol) would please Slaanesh enough to end her (yes, a canon her) eternal damnation to unending dancing. After Space Marines show up she flees, due to their artificial muscles being displeasing to Slaanesh and fighting them not being worth potential banishment back to the Warp. Her motives lead her and an army of Daemonettes to the battle for the Gate of Khaine, where she implies some familiarity with Kaldor Drago before trying to bring him down, only to fail spectacularly.
*'''[[Skarbrand]]''': A "renegade" Khornate Bloodthirster; Khorne officially disowned him after he attempted to kill the Chaos God with a strike to the back, but still recognizes his talents. Skarbrand appears in the Warp Hijinks special as a victim of a ding-dong-ditch prank by Leman Russ and Fyodor. He refers to himself exclusively in the third person and, being a Bloodthirster, [[RAGE|hates literally everything]] (it didn't help that all emotions besides anger were throttled out of him by Khorne); when faced with the prospect being outside or inside after being pranked, he actually remains in the doorframe, which he hates '''''slightly''''' less. He later joins the Chaos Undivided daemon horde that assaulted Khaine's gate as it was being opened by the Inquisition's forces, where he further espouses his hatred against everything. Such as named characters, some of whom he fucking murders. Extremely open and vocal about his feelings, funnily enough. {{BLAM|SKARBRAND '''HATES''' MISCONCEPTIONS!}}
*'''[[Kairos Fateweaver]]''': A Tzeentchian Lord of Change. First appears during Russ and crew's rampage throughout the Warp, where he tries his usual "Knights and Knaves" shtick on Inquisitor Adrielle Quist, but since she's drunk and not listening and mistakes him for a Genestealer he gets fucked up for his troubles. He holds an eternal grudge against her due to that. He still has two heads and the second, mottled one will constantly contradict the dominant head while speaking (which Kairos never seems to address nor notice). He appears during the battle at Khaine's Gate, where he destroys most of the Grey Knights, but his work was mistakenly attributed to Skarbrand, much to his eternal dismay.
*'''[[Epidemius]]''': A Nurglite Plaguebearer. First appears during Russ and crew's rampage throughout the Warp, where he was pelted into submission with hundreds of bars of soap and a bathtub. He later appears during the battle at Khaine's Gate with a retinue of [[plaguebearers]], and was enraged when one of them was killed by the Deathwatch. He later commanded a charge against them that ended up with most of the Deathwatch being slaughtered, with Wilford and Calato being the only survivors while being forced to retreat.
*'''The [[C'tan]]''': The Necron's star gods seem to be wedging their way back into current affairs after being turned into [[Pokemon]] by their servants. Of all of them, only The Deceiver has made an appearance so far, the rest being confined to the paper puppet flashbacks (except when Decius brought up The Nightbringer when he was convincing the Ecclesiarchy that [[The Emperor|Easy-E]] isn't a god).
**[[The Deceiver]], when not playing Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker with the Emperor and pals, seems to be [[Just As Planned|pulling strings]] all around the materium. Has a special interest in stopping Kaldor Draigo from returning to realspace. Presumably, because he would become the avatar of Matt Ward, the <strike>[[Malal|Fifth]]</strike> Sixth god of Choas, and bring utter ruination to the material realm before the C'tan can bring utter ruination to the material realm.
*'''Clancy''': The traitor menial of an Imperial Cruiser who wants to kill a Primarch, and is obnoxiously polite and civil about the entire affair. His plans fail when Vulkan, Corax and all the other ~~important~~ characters survive the shipwreck he engineered and capture him; his backup plan (Exterminatus from via some "pals" dropping a Melta or Cyclonic-esque torpedo on Attila from orbit) ends up similarly falling short, though he does escape captivity.

===Others===

*'''[[Horus|FUCKING HORUS]]''': Appears in the April Fool's episode, where he breaks into the Emperor's throne room and incapacitates him. The Emperor declares Horus can't win because he's all alone, but says he isn't as he gathered allies while he was clawing his way out of The Warp, all of whom are some of the dead/retconned/obscure characters in the fluff, like; The Beast (An Ork who waged one of the most successful WAAAGH!s in human history), Goge Vandire (The man responsible for the worst chapter in Imperial History after the Horus Heresy), [[Sindri Myr]], the Megarachnids (A footnote insectoid race in the fluff, who were hunted to extinction by the Astartes in the Great Crusade.), the [[Squats]] (We all know who they are), Hermann Von Strab (One of the most inept commanders the Imperium has ever seen, who met his end in the 3rd War of Armageddon.), the [[Old Ones]], the Techno-Barbarians of olden Terra, 3ED [[Carnifex|Old One Eye]] and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kXU14hkuSI SLY MARBOOO] *cue explosions*. He subsequently declares himself as the new Emperor. Later appeared for real in the second Q&A in the "Retconnian" with Malal and the Squats, and calms Malal's tantrum like a parent consoling a child.
*'''[[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]]''': Currently beating up the Overfiend of Octarius, as in official lore. It's still unknown where Ghazzy's gonna fit into things, though it will likely be to assemble all Orks into a single Great WAAAGH!! Also seems to love making bad jokes.
[[Image:Cyph.jpg|thumb|right]]
*'''[[Cypher]]''': He has a very vague, mysterious plot involving the planet Orior and its STCs. This seems to take place not long after the [[Fallen_Angels#Ophidium Gulf Crusade Incident|Ophidium Gulf Crusade Incident]], as the Dark Angels managed to locate him by tracking his ship. He also seems to be skilled at disguise, as he manages to just waltz right into the Thunderhawk behind Azrael without any further comment. He's on his way towards Mars with the Dark Angels.

*'''[[Gork]] and [[Mork]] (or was it Mork and Gork?)''': The two Ork gods. They're a couple of dumbfucks who argue with each other in other people's conversations on Spacebook, with Gork not actually knowing he's using the Interwarp and trying to figure out how to use it while already on it.

[[Image:Text Marines.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Eliphas.jpg|thumb|right]]
*'''[[Felinids]]''': [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUuvHPr4BGk The ultimate let-down.]
*'''[[Necron]]s''': They appear initially in a mini-episode by Karl. Necrons all speak with low-quality Text to Speech devices, except for the Lords who can afford higher quality devices. (Wait, does this mean the Emperor's communicator is technically Xenotech?) Shennanigans ensue when an unnamed Necron Lord discovers that his lowly minions can't pronounce certain things, so now all necrons make roflcopter sounds as their war cries. '''SOI SOI MOTHERFUCKER'''
*'''[[Stormcast Eternals|Ground Marines]]''': Introduced as a short spoof episode after the release of [[Age of Sigmar]], a group of Ultramarines determined to bring their superior selves to the service of [[Sigmar|"other Emperors"]] enter a portal and come out transformed as Stormcast Eternals, their appearance crushing a small group of [[The Empire (Warhammer Fantasy)|Empire]] Flagellants. Text then appeared expressing condolences for [[Warhammer Fantasy]] fans. Although non-canon, it's a jab at Games Workshop's need to crowbar Space Marines everywhere ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-MzNpMD1K8 As the Stormcast Eternals largely resemble the Space Marines]. Heck, their posterboy group even takes after [[Ultramarines|The Greatest Of Them All]] with the blue, white, and gold color scheme).
*'''[[Eliphas The Inheritor]]''': Makes a cameo in the second Q&A episode having sent a letter to the Emperor saying "Dear Corpse Emperor, Furk You." The episode then cuts to him laughing manically thinking he's so clever before the Emperor psychically punches him, promptly shutting him up.

*'''Ahriman 2.0''': [[Fabius Bile]]'s horribly disfigured clone of Ahzek Ahriman which he unveiled in the Slaaneshmas special, much to Lucius and the original Ahriman's horror. Fabius claimed it was a "work-in-progress", something which caused the clone to become so enraged that it psychically self-destructed moments after.
*'''The [[Angry Marines]]''': ''Might'' exist in the TTS-verse, but nobody knows for sure. "Angry Marines" was a popular answer in a poll on which loyalist chapter best embodies the concept of hatred, but nobody in the Imperial Palace knows who this might be referring to, and it was speculated that it may simply be a nickname. Either way, they were beaten by several other chapters, most notably the Black Templars and the [[Marines Malevolent]].
*'''[[Hassan]]''': First appeared in the Chaos Descends series attempting to sell camels to two of the main characters in the middle of nowhere, eventually convincing them to put up flyers for his business as a form of payment. He later appears in the main series, apparently having sold camels to the Ultramarines at some point.

*'''Voldarius''': An unfortunate Daemon Prince which got the attention of the Pillarstodes after reading about him in one of the books they got from the Black Library. They along with the Emperor and Rogal Dorn publicly mock him for being completely ineffective and incompetent to the point of having to rely on his subordinates to do everything for him.
*'''Uriah Olathaire:''' Yes, its the old man that the Emprah had a theological debate during [[The Last Church]]. His soul was summoned from The Warp by The Emperor, who was horrified that he turned into a Chaos worshiper. Ironically he is perfectly sane despite following Chaos. Unlike their first encounter, this time he actually IS a theologian and can shut down the Emperor's rather sophomoric arguments easily. He worships Chaos Undivided and paints them in a more neutral, legitimately non-malevolent light, highlighting how humanity needs Chaos to stay human and how Chaos needs humanity to continue to exist, making it a mutually-beneficial relationship. He originally wanted to justify the existence of Chaos, but due to the Emprah being a dick; he got fed up and instead started calling him on the hypocrisy of his Imperium and his ideals, such as his constant use of religious iconography and terms (despite wanting a secular empire), essentially doing the same thing old terran religions did to propagate their influence (although with a higher death count), among other things. He was eventually banished back into The Warp after dissing the holiness of the taco.
*'''Alfa Legion''' Some of the creators SI's into 40K appear in Episode 10 after Emps makes a remark about how "THERE COULD EVEN BE CHAPTERS CONSORTING AND ACCEPTING BOTH XENOS AND CHAOS WORSHIPPERS INTO THEIR RANKS. MAYBE EVEN CHAPTERS SO FUCKING RECLUSIVE AND HISTORICALLY INEPT THAT THEIR MERE EXISTENCE SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A DISGUSTINGLY HORRIBLE AND SHITTY FANFICTION." and taking the main TTS reaction thread into consideration, '''EMPS WAS ONE OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''' Currently have their souls contained in a box owned by Magnus while [[Indrick Boreale|Boreale]] and [[Apollo Diomedes|Diomedes]] have become Magnus' idiot pets.

==The Order of The Primarchs' Returns==
During the season 3 intro, the silhouettes the miniatures of all the primarchs seems to appear in the order they will first enter the show, as the order roughly corresponds with their actual in-series appearances so far, though this may just be the order of their apearances, not the order in which they return...

* [[Rogal Dorn]] - Around since the beginning of the series, although we don't find out it's Dorn until Episode 20.
* [[Magnus]] - Pops up in Episode 13 after being captured by the Ultrasmurfs.
* [[Vulkan]] - Returns after I, Cato Sicarius plants the remaining Lost Artifacts of Vulkan in Episode 20.
* [[Leman Russ]] - Appears in the Warp in Episode 21, after Magnus banished the Inquisitors there in Episode 18.
* [[Corvus Corax]] Can be heard attempting to get out of a building on Nocturne at the End of Episode 21, and appears in person during Episode 25.
* [[Ferrus Manus]]- Appears as a 'brainghost' in Vulkan's head when Vulkan returns at the beginning of Episode 20. Vulkan claims in the bro trip spinoff that he isn't the real Ferrus.
* [[Lion El'Jonson]] - Not yet featured, but Rogal Dorn might know where he is. Then again, maybe not. This IS The Lion we're talking about after all. Taking current events into consideration, he maybe awakening soon.
* [[Jaghatai Khan]] - Talked about extensively in Episode 24; The Ultramarines are on the rescue!
* [[Angron]] - Hasn't appeared in person, though Lucius mentions he and Kharn may be out on business.
* [[Perturabo]] - Hasn't appeared in person, but was prominently featured in a flashback in Episode 24.
* [[Lorgar]] - given a roasting in Episode 2, but nothing of note since then.
* [[Mortarion]] - A couple of jokes have been made at his expense, but he has yet to appear.
* [[Fulgrim]] - Hasn't appeared in person, although he did contact Lucius the Eternal to inform him about Abbadon's 13th Black Crusade.
* [[Alpharius]] & [[Omegon]] - Emps refers to them as if they are one person.
* [[Konrad Curze]] - A few mentions, but no appearances thus far. (Well duh you fuckwits! He’s dead!)
* [[Roboute Guilliman]] - No appearances, although occasionally referred to in the form of The Emperor demanding his life support being cut off. Hilarious in hindsight, given the events of Gathering Storm.
* [[Sanguinius]] - appeared in vision form during the Flesh Eater short and was spoken of at the end of the second Q&A, Episode 18.5 (may or may not consider the Sanguinor appearing as his first appearance)
* [[Horus]] - No appearances in the main series, although he has been seen in the April Fools and the second Q&A.

==Main Theme Lyrics==
'''WE ARE THE GODS OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER.'''

'''WE ARE THE SOLDIERS, THE LEGION OF LIGHT.'''

'''WE ARE THE CENTER, THE DEATH OF THE SUN (SON).'''

'''FIRE AND FLAME.'''

'''WE ARE ONE.'''

(excerpt credit: Triarii - We Are One)

==Trivia==
* The Emperor's motivation for creating the Human Webway was obtaining Eldar prostitutes. The other benefits were an afterthought.
* The Emperor's nose is plagued by a phantom-itch, courtesy of Nurgle. Tzeentch believes the frustration will cause him to explode, destroying humanity and causing him to become a new Chaos God.
* The Emperor firmly believes in Taco Friday, whereas Dorn believes in Taco Tuesday. This disagreement causes a minor civil war (A.K.A. the TTS-Version of the Dornian Heresy). Magnus ups the ante by believing that [[Warp|Taco ''Tuesday'' should be on ''Friday'']].
* The Emperor did not create any [[Female Space Marines]] because "girls are yucky."
* The Emperor's left eye was accidentally poked out by Rogal Dorn's iron halo while attaching him to the Golden Throne. However, in older depictions of the Emperor's duel with Horus, it was one of the wounds inflicted upon him (he also broke many bones, burned the Emperor's hair, poisoned him, etc.).
* Some of the Emperor's previous personas included Moses and [[Chris-Chan]].
* The Emperor's shattered psyche can access knowledge of the 4th wall. This is not always available.
* The Emperor approves of the Tau in theory, although in practice only those willing to engage in melee. So basically just the [[Farsight|Farsight Enclaves]].
* In fact, the Emperor is fine with tolerating any Xenos that aren't a threat to mankind. Absolute eradication is unnecessary if regulation suffices.
* Despite his intentions for the Imperial Truth involving suffocating the Chaos Gods, the Emperor's attempts at atheism were in fact making [[Necoho|an actual god of disbelief]]... according to Magnus.
* The Emperor can shape the [[Astronomicon]] so that he can flip the bird to the rest of the galaxy.
* Has a known hobby: Plays a children's card game (Yu-Gi-Oh) with a clearly cheesy, overpowered and unfair deck... that, like most [[cheese]], was destroyed as soon as it came across a hard counter. [[Horus Heresy|Apparently Emprah still hasn't learnt the lesson about why using OP stuff is a very bad idea.]] It later turns out that Tzeentch is the only person he can play with. Tzeentch's deck is similarly cheesy, but relies more on combos. Both of them also make heavy use of banned cards and have a rather... loose grasp on the actual rules.
* The Emperor has called for a second Council of Nikea. This one has nothing to do with Magnus; ironically, it's centered on the Space ''Corgis'', and the fact that the [[wikipedia:Woodland Critter Christmas|friendly woodland critters]] of Fenris that the Wolves commune with are actually daemons. We've yet to see Magnus' and Leman Russ' reaction to the news, but it's guaranteed to be hilarious.
* He has also ordered [[Logan Grimnar]] to deliver presents to all the good little boys and girls in the Imperium on Sanguinala.
* While he has a number of colorful insults for his subordinates, including the primarchs, he also has pet names for his sons, such as "my little Magnymagic", "RogalyDonDon", and "my Fabulous Fucking Hawk-Boy".
* The First Founding was originally named the [[Only Founding]], this was renamed after [[Codex Astartes|Guilliman's fuck up]].
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuE2waTrXKk The Emperor disapproves of the saying "Life is the Emperor's currency"].
* The Emperor's flaming sword sounds like a squeaky toy hammer (at least when he bashed Tzeentch's faces in).
* He wonders if the Salamanders' pyromania had to do with his act of keeping their gene-seeds closer to the candle for warmth when he was creating them.
* Magnus identifies with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
* There is a chance that the popularity of TTS has influenced Warhammer Gaming as a whole. Every big Warhammer game that has come out since TTS have had Cut scenes similar to that of the series.
* The Emperor believes gold is the greatest color of them all, and that all other colors are equally inferior.
* Actual canon for 40k has progressed since the series was created, and is interestingly not entirely dissimilar to the series. Some have accused Games Workshop of copying what they like from it, others say the series inspired GW writers to get off their asses and make something actually new.
** [[Aaron Dembski-Bowden]] is [https://www.reddit.com/r/Warhammer/comments/7igatt/im_aaron_dembskibowden_ask_me_anything/dqykv2l/ confirmed to be "a big fan" of TTS], actually. Ironically, he started watching it after people drew comparisons between Master of Mankind and the series.
* Reading the book Inquisitor by Ian Watson causes disgust and trauma to several of the characters present, in no small part due to Jaq Draco constantly lusting after his Callidus assassin disguised as a genestealer, as well as the overly long description of the Slaaneshi planet in the Eye of Terror. Even boy has horrifying visions in his missing eye after what he's experienced.

==Gallery==
===Quotes and snippets===
<gallery>
Image:Text To Heresy.png| If [[/d/]] still existed in 40k you can bet the Emperor would purge it.
Image:NotCanonShout.gif| What happens whenever someone mentions Shadowsun around Kitten.
Image:EmperorSureal.gif| Emp's reaction to most things that have happened to the Imperium.
Image:EmperorDisgraceful.gif| Likewise.
Image:EmperorPunchesTzeentch.gif| The Emperor taking out his frustration on a certain [[Tzeentch|indecisive mollusk]].
Image:MagnusRant.gif| Magnus is not a fan of the Imperium's general intelligence levels.
Image:DeciusHatBoner.gif| What passes for "Religious Ecstasy" in the Ecclesiarchy.
Image:UltraFucknCrying.gif| Calgar's disappointment over the flanderization of the Ultramarines is palpable.
Image:PillarstodesEntrance.gif| [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUhVCoTsBaM| *Cue Awaken.mp3*]
Image:AhrimanEXCUSEME.gif| Ahriman is a very grumpy boss.
Image:SlaaneshPatrol.gif| If you hear EDM outside, don't answer the door. EVER.
Image:HighLordsIllegal.gif| The High Lords in a nutshell.
Image:SuddenlyDaemons.gif| Magnus' original fuckup barely phased him at the time.
Image:EmperorSpanking.jpg| The Emperor is the ideal father figure.
Image:UltraSmurfingNecrons.gif| Calgar engaging in a little Ultraviolence.
Image:RussWolfWarfare.jpg| Leman Russ' version of the infamous Navy Seal Copypasta.
</gallery>

===Fanart===
<gallery>
Image:NOT CANON.png|Kitten with his TOTALLY NOT CANON girlfriend [[Shadowsun]].
File:Kitten and shadowsun tragic story by khornez.jpg|''Tale as old as time...''
File:KittenCustodesbyAdeptusAdamaris.jpg|Turns out the nickname wasn't an accident.
File:NotCanonbyMagnifical.jpg
File:Luscious lucius prankz gone heretical 2016 by sexual yeti.png
File:TTS Rogal by eightball6219.jpg|When a tech-priest asks for a toaster, you give him a damn toaster!
</gallery>

==External Links==

* [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyiDf91_bTEgnBN0jAvzNbqzrlMGID5WA The entire series.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WebVideo/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice TV Tropes's page, for extra references.]
* [http://if-the-emperor-had-a-texttospeech-device.wikia.com/wiki/If_The_Emperor_Had_a_Text-To-Speech_Device_Wiki And a whole wiki to cover the show, too]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqbQ_oKmflM A remix cover of the ending theme by StringStorm, check his other remixes too.]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzPuK1vib_c Not content with his first remix, StringStorm made a second one.]

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Meme

2019-05-30T22:44:08Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* List of Good Memes */

[[Image:Kilroy_Was_Here_-_Washington_DC_WWII_Memorial.jpg|250px|thumb|right|Kilroy has since been immortalized in this war memorial.]]
[[Image:Awesome.png|200px|thumb|right|The Awesome Face. A classical memetic image.]]
{{Topquote|Kilroy was here.|Arguably the first meme.}}

{{Topquote|Free will is a myth. Religion is a joke. We are all pawns controlled by something greater: Memes. The DNA of the soul. They shape our will. They are the culture. They are everything we pass on."|[[Metal Gear|Monsoon]].}}

A '''meme''' is an idea that spreads itself, supposedly in the same way that a gene does in biology. Basically someone proposes an idea of some kind, then people take notice of said idea and spread it around. Depending on the content of the idea; the useless ones stagnate and die after people no longer deem them worthy of passing around. Useful ideas however, are continually propagated as time progresses, starting from individuals, to the masses, up until generations of people pass it on and on until it becomes a common idea.

A good and simple example comes from the Japanese Macaque: One day a monkey saw a human take a bath in a hot spring, thought it was a good idea, and when it was cold one day it went into a spring itself. Other monkeys saw the first monkey and realized that, hey, that monkey's got a good thing going and also entered the hot spring. Over time the idea, or "meme" of the hot spring entered the general monkey population and today most Macaques take hot spring baths. Many of our laws, morals, knowledge, culture, and our very way of life, are the memes left behind by our ancestors.

In the context of the internet in general a meme is a running joke; an inside joke that everyone is in on. A meme can be a pattern of text or images that is posted repeatedly, either for its intrinsic humor value, as a punchline or automatic reaction to certain types of posts, or for the extrinsic humor of the meme itself (posting a meme because the meme itself is desirable, not because the post itself is good). Correctly using memes for humor is an art form, and one that /tg/ takes endless joy in, as it does all [[Hot Chicks|scientific pursuits]].

Memes on /tg/, as on any board, often come about organically: someone posts something so hilarious or elegant or horrible that it ''must'' be reposted. If it gets reposted enough, and enough people are introduced to it and begin reposting it themselves, it becomes a meme. Sometimes a meme is taken from somewhere else: catch phrases and running jokes from movies and games, or features of websites (like greentext or hashtags) can be elevated into meme status by being adopted and reposted for the lulz outside of their original context. A '''forced meme''' is when a single [[That guy|person]] repeatedly posts something, which is not (yet) a meme, in an attempt to ''make'' it a meme. It usually [[FAIL|fails]].

== List of Good Memes ==
New memes are created all the time, while old ones go out of fashion. Some may be flash in the pan, and yet others are timeless, truly lasting as a testament to their utility and humor; but a selection of /tg/ memes includes:
*'''[[Neckbeard]]''' - A common term for fa/tg/uys. Born from the common stereotype of the fat gaming nerd with unkempt facial hair in the neck region.
* Two wound lootas. Because we cannot let it live down. Miniwargamer Quirk spent a few days/games saying his lootas had two wounds. Now people always say that Quirk will use two wound (insert one wound model) at least thrice per video.
*'''[[Matt Ward|SPIRITUAL LIEGE]]''' - A meme making fun of the shitty [[Fluff]] of the fifth edition of ''[[Space Marines|Codex: Space Marines]]'' for [[Warhammer 40,000]], which may as well have been called ''[[Ultramarines|Codex: Ultramarines]]'' due to [[Matt Ward]]'s infamous fanboy-jizzing all over his favored chapter in the Space Marines codex. In said codex, he referred to [[Marneus Calgar]] as the Space Marines' '''Spiritual Liege''', and the ideal example of what all Space Marines aspire to be, [[What|above even their own Primarchs and Chapter-Masters]]. Suffice to say, this line induced more facepalms than Maradonia Saga from the player-base.
*'''[[Just as planned]]''' - Used to indicate some clever feat of manipulation or forward-planning, often by [[Tzeentch]] or his minions; alternatively, used to indicate Tzeentchian involvement in a humorous manner. Originally an /a/ meme based off of an early 2000s [[anime]] called Death Note.
*'''[[Not as planned]]''' - Like above, but after all this Tzeentchian flubdubbery: the planner suddenly realizes an unexpected obstacle in their scheme, causing all of their work to be railroaded.
*'''[[Blam|*BLAM*]]''' - Taken from a the Imperial [[Commissar]]'s infamous role of executing friendly troops for heresy or dereliction of duty. Has since by adopted by /tg/ as a way of stopping one from further spreading heretical content. *FWIP* is the fantasy version of this meme involving execution by sword or bow, if guns are not available in the game's setting.
*'''[[Love Can Bloom]]''' - Refers to a specific tale of a Vindicare Assassin falling in love with [[Taldeer|Farseer Taldeer]], his intended victim. Used more generally to indicate sweet and gentle happenings within the [[Grimdark|GRIM DARKNESS]] of the [[41st millennium]].
*'''[[Katanas are Underpowered in d20]]''' - Originally started as the rantings of a weeaboo who thinks Katanas should be buffed and made better than their European cousins. This eventually evolved into people using the meme to make fun of any supposed underpowered or under-represented weapon and proposing how to make them viable.
*'''[[Bear Lore]]''' - A reference to the incredibly stingy Bear Lore chart in the [[4e]] Monster Manual, which implies that a high degree of Nature skill is required to even know that [[bear|bears]] have claws and teeth.
*'''[[CLANG!]]''' - A meme centered around a [[Truly Immovable Rod|Universal Stillpoint Rod]], which, once activated, remains in that spot in the universe forever. These rods lurk like space-detritus, waiting for an unfortunate moment for someone to be standing where they are when sud-[[CLANG!]] WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! / The sound it makes when you have vaginal sex with a robot
*'''[[Oinkbane|MY TACTICS ARE TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!!!]]''' - Starting from a simple thread in /tg/, Oinkbane the wereboar assassin became great in the minds of many. Though he may seem like the most ineffective assassin, his tactics are TOO SUBTLE! He has a habit of appearing where people do not expect, and has no problem defying the laws of physics to do so. Reality does not seem to apply to him, and he has murdered many a foe. SNEAK ATTAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!
*'''[[Creed|CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!]]''' - A beloved 40K meme in which Usarker Creed from Warhammer 40K uses his tactical genius ability to scout units that by all accounts, could not be scouted, into position. Hence, the meme revolves around Creed suddenly putting superheavy vehicles in otherwise impossible locations due to his Tactical Genius, like a Baneblade in the middle of an enemy camp or a Warlord Titan behind a piece of shrubbery.
*'''[[Alignment#Gallery|Alignments]]''' - A Motivational Poster describing one of the nine classic D&D alignments, with a photo and quote of someone that embodies that ethic.
*'''[[What I Made| What I Made / What the DM Saw / What I Played]]''' - three-piece clipart describing how the player subverted expectations.
*'''[[Anal Circumference]]''' - An unfortunate meme that stems from the equally-unfortunate [[FATAL]] RPG system, widely mocked as one of the most depraved and idiotic things transcribed to text. The general gist is that there is an entire subsystem in place for how much someone's ass in FATAL can stretch, and like most things in FATAL, this subsystem [[FAIL|fails]] utterly, but has been adopted to mock morally questionable character checks in other games, or preparation for anal violation.
*'''[[Indrick Boreale|SPESS MEHREENS]]''' - A [[Awesome|legendary]] meme that stemmed from [[Dawn of War|Dawn of War: Soulstorm]]. One of three (the others being [[METAL BOXES]] and .) A meme making fun of Indrick Boreale's outrageous accent and hilariously messed-up verbiage, which is so bad that it makes one wonder what the hell Relic was smoking when its writers shat out the dialogue involved.
*'''[[METAL BOXES]]''' - Another meme from Baldstorm. Taken from [[Firaeveus Carron]]'s unnatural hatred for [[Rhino Transport|MEHTUL BAWKSES]], deeming them for COWARDS AND FEWLZ. His solution for this is to take away the Blood Raven's MEHTUL BOXES
*'''[[Cornholio the Cultist]]''' - Yet another meme from Baldstorm (Truly the Emperor provides). Taken due to Soulstorm's inability to recruit the old VAs of certain units (in this case, the cultist), resulting in them having Scot McNeil do it instead. The hilarious result is this.
*'''[[THIN YOUR PAINTS]]''' - Originally criticism for people who used too-thick paint on their minis, it has since also evolved into a joke involving any time /tg/ judges a presented mini-army's aesthetics.
*'''[[Classic Blunder]]''' - When someone starts a thread with an image more interesting than the text and /tg/ discusses the image instead, completely ignoring the text. Named after a line from "The Princess Bride".
*'''[[Dohohoho]]''' - When someone makes a topical joke using a Statler and Waldorf routine to jeer at someone or something in a (attempted) witty manner. A higher class of meme for distinguished gentlemen.
*'''[[Cybering|I put on my robe and wizard hat]]''' - Used randomly when talking about magic (or sometimes psy powers), this amusing meme originated from a quite interesting cybering session.
* '''[[Fish of Fury]]''' - A 40K game mechanic-turned meme that caused the [[Tau]] to be unapologetic rage-generators at their launch and has since fallen by the wayside, but which /tg/ periodically attempts to reference to make funny [[/tg/ gets shit done|with mixed results]].
* '''[[DISTRACTION CARNIFEX]]''' - Another game mechanic from 40K in meme form, stemming from a popular tactic for Tyranids in multiple editions wherein a player kitted out a relatively cheap Carnifex for use as a distraction. Officially died due to [[Robin Cruddace]], but changes in later editions made them kind-of viable again. The tactic was immediately adapted by other players using other factions, with mixed results. May or may not be a variation of the [[Old Ones|older than the internet]] DISTRACTION PENIS meme.
* '''[[Chaos Spawn|That Which Must Not Be Named]]''' - A meme due to the Chaos Sp- *ahem*, a certain unit's infamy of being so useless in the WH40K (atleast in previous iterations, but they're so bad that the curse stuck through later editions) that merely saying "Chaos Spawn" would curse the speaker to spontaneously transform into a-'''NOOORAAWASDGFAFASDASERWA'''. They are typically called "That Which Must Not Be Named", or variations thereof, to avoid such a fate. This meme is also generally used for discussing any topic so vile, merely mentioning it is bound to put a curse on you.
* '''[[Squats]]''' - /tg/'s version of the Candlejack meme. If you mention Squats, [[Games Workshop]] sends its [[Vindicare|death squads]] after you. One wonders why this meme even exists, since hardly anyone even knows about Squats anymore. Became almost entirely irrelevant when 6th edition brought them back into the canon. UNTIL THE DEATH SQUADS BROUGHT BACK THE SQUATS!!!
* '''[[Skub]]''' - An term used by /tg/ to describe a topic or event that has a community's opinion divided into two factions of extremes, rarely or never reaching a common-ground of understanding for anything. Any skub topic brought up on /tg/ is bound to cause [[rage|lively debates]].
* '''[[Elf slave, wat do?]]''' - An elven slave is presented before you, what will be your next course of action?
* '''[[Celestial Lions|Ork Snipers]]''' - A meme stemming from the Celestial Lion's command structure being sniped off during a battle with Orks, under covert orders from the Inquisition. As an Oxymoron (being that its impossible for an Ork to count as a sniper with their inability to take accuracy into account), "Ork Snipers" have since been a term for any flimsily-executed cover-up done by someone.
* '''[[Magical Realm|Dare you enter my magical realm?]]''' - When dealing with a [[/d/M]], "magical realm" is code for "the gamemaster's sick fetishes incorporated into the campaign."
* '''[[Dark Angels|The Dark Angels' LOYALTY]]''' - A meme that evolved from the Dark Angels' <s>schism during Luther's betrayal</s> TOTALLY COMMON NEED TO EXPRESS HOW LOYAL WE ARE, and their active attempts to <s>silence anyone who knows the truth about their dark past</s> REITERATE HOW NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TO THE CHILDREN OF THE LION AND ALL OF THESE CLAIMS BROUGHT UP ARE WILD RUMORS FROM FOUL TRAITORS WHO ARE NOWHERE RELATED TO THE DARK ANGELS. People who have had their statements struck out are <s>typically captured and disposed of by the Dark Angels to avoid further inquiry</s> GIVEN A STERN WARNING THEN THEY WILLINGLY GO ON A PILGRIMAGE OF REPENTANCE FOR THEIR SINS ON SOME REMOTE IMPERIAL WORLD BY THEMSELVES WITH NO OTHER WAY TO CONTACT ANYONE ELSE AGAIN TO PREVENT THE OFFENDER FROM SPREADING FURTHER LIES.
*[[Total War: WARHAMMER|'''BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION!''']] - This meme comes from Surtha Ek, a Chaos Lord in Total War Warhammer, who was quite op for sometime, demolishing southerners with more than one Chaos Chariots.
*'''Hairesy''': This term was popularized with [[Dawn of War 2]] with the introduction of [[Blood Ravens Force Commander|Force Commander Hairgel]] and his outrageous hairdo, later extending towards any space marine who has any sort of hair. This is due to the belief that all space marines should be bald, based on the high prevalence of bald space marine characters. Unless you're the [[Space Wolves]], who are metal as fuck. Or [[Captain Titus]]. Basically anyone who's charismatic enough is allowed to have hair. Otherwise its '''HAIRESY''' {{blam}}.

== List of Bad Memes ==
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI3ROoUgaHY There are good memes, and there are bad memes. Why had God abandoned us?] These are just a few of the memes that /tg/ (and sometimes 4chan itself) hates with a burning passion:
* 404 List not Found

== Memes Through Cross-Contamination ==
Memes by definition spread. What may start as some obscure bit of silliness on [[/a/]], [[/b/]] or [[/co/]] could very well wind its way through [[/d/]], [[/aco/]] and even [[/tg/]] before it's run its course. Many of these are simply ignored as shit, but a rare few become beloved by ''both'' their respective boards ''and'' /tg/:

* '''[[Brundlepenis]]''' - A meme that migrated from [[/d/]] and arrived on [[/tg/]] after someone posted pictures of what appeared to be half-men-half-dicks, and several fa/tg/uys made clear their intent to use them as inspiration for [[Slaanesh]]i [[Chaos Spawn|that which must not be named]]. Things went downhill from there and any posting of Brundlepenis on /tg/ will cause equal parts hate and laughter.
* '''[[Heterosexual Sex in the Missionary Position]]''' - Another meme that migrated from /d/, and is ostensibly the more humorous of the two. It generally involves someone requesting image of Heterosexual Sex in the Missionary Position, and then being called a sick fuck by the other anons/tripfags/namefags in the thread, as such is too intense for the guys posting [[Daemonette|Futa]] [[Merfolk|Mermaid]] [[PROMOTIONS|porn]]. Hilarity through irony thus occurs.
* '''Bane?''' - A meme beloved by /tv/, and often spread throughout the rest of 4chan. It mocks the opening scene of 'The Dark Knight Rises' and the action between a CIA Agent and Bane. /tg/ seems unconcerned with Baneposting, and tolerate it more than most other boards. Alternate theory: Being elegan/tg/entlemen, they are of course big guys(for you), and not hotheads. So while the fire rises around the rest of the boards, /tg/ knows he didnt fly so good, and said nothing... I said nothing.
* '''[[Penguin of Doom]]''' - A meme suspected to have been created as a satire of teenage girls who go through their "random = funny" phase. Known by /tg/ for its [[Space Marine]] variant.

=== Rebecca Black ===
<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">
What started as an aborted attempt by /b/ to incite /tg/ to join it in hating something quickly turned sour when /tg/ discovered that Rebecca Black's autotuned voice sounded distressingly like someone [[Indrick Boreale|with an infamous voice]] in [[Dawn of War|Dawn of War: Soulstorm]].
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">
{{Bad}}
{{Fail}}
{{heresy}}
[[Image:RebeccaBlack.jpg|right|thumb|Just ''looking'' at her has been known to induce [[Cultist-chan|fury]].]]
Another of several [[meme]]s that wound up on [[/tg/]] through cross-contamination of [[/b/]] and [[/v/]], Rebecca Black is a [[Noise Marines|fucking horrible singer]] who did a song called ''Friday'', which can only be described as being akin to subjecting your eardrums to a [[Exterminatus|protracted virus bombing]], but without the sweet release of death at the end. It is so bad, in fact, that it has managed to drive numerous fa/tg/uys into [[Khorne|homicidal frenzies]]. Furthermore 80% of the song was [[Fail|autotuned]]...who would have guessed.

This is unusual, for several reasons.

/tg/, historically, knows better than to get involved with hate on music groups/artists that suck - and not simply on matters of principle. When /b/ began a hate-campaign against [[Justin Bieber]], for example, /tg/ just rolled its eyes and went about its usual business of [[/tg/ gets shit done|getting shit done]], since the userbase of /tg/, being slightly less retarded than most, knows that in a few short years, he won't even exist in the back of our memories anymore, self-destructing or simply getting too old to be viable, much as was the case for ''every other fucking useless boy band that came out in the 1990s and early 2000s''. Suffice to say, when /b/tards brought news of this particular singer to /tg/, it brought out a rare level of [[Rage|rage]] [[Matt Ward|that only one man thus far has been able to coax out]].

None can quite say why the song (and its singer) is so bad; in fact, the entire work as a whole is a rich trapestry of suckage, kind of like a stack of codices by [[Matt Ward]]. Some parts of the work stand out as particularly stupid; the fact that the entire song is done with the aid of a harmonizer and was done by a bunch of rich white people who think this is [[Awesome|akin to Doomrider making a comeback in scope]] likely does volumes for the hate, as does the obvious 13-year-old driving in the video and the song itself being complete and total feces.

True to form, however, /tg/ has done its time-honored practice of getting shit done and making win out of fail, when one specific fa/tg/uy noticed something that had previously gone unnoticed by most of the other users of /tg/. When it had been brought to the attentions of those involved, much laughter and humor came about.

==== Daughter of Boreale ====
[[Image:Baldeale.jpg|thumb|right|WEHLL DAHN, MAH DAUGHTAR!]]
The /tg/ meme of Rebecca Black is somewhat different than the simple ones stemming from other boards; /tg/ argues that Rebecca Black is, in fact, the illegitimate daughter of [[Indrick Boreale]]. The similarities in their verbiage is just too hilariously similar to be coincidence. Comparing Boreale's [[Space Marines|SPESS MEHREENS]] and [[Emperor|EMPRAH]] to the lyrics of ''Friday'' certainly strongly suggests it:

SEVEHN A.M. WAHKEN UP IN TEH MAHRNING

GOTTA BE FRESH GOTTA GO DOWNSTEHRS

GOTTA HEV MY BEHWL, GOTTA HEV CEREAHL

SEEING EVEHRYTHAN, THE TAHM IS GOHN

TICKAHN OHN AND OHN, EVEHRYBAHDY'S [[Communism|RUSSIAN]]

GOTTA GEHT DAHWN TO TEH BUHS STAHP

GOTTA CATCH MAH BUHS, I SEE MAH FREINDS

[[Doomrider|KICKAHN IN TEH FRAUHNT SEAT]]

[[FATAL|KICKAHN IN TEH BAHCK SEAT]]

GOTTA MAKE UHP MAH MIND

WHICH SEAT CAHN I TAKE?!

IT'S FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GOTTA GET DAHWN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND, WEEKHEHND

FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GETTIN' DAWHN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

[[Dwarf Fortress|FAHN]],FAHN,FAHN,FAHN

LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND (FOR THE EMPRAH)

7:45, WE'RE DRIVIN' ON TEH HAHWAY

CRUHSEN SO FHAST, I WANT TIME TO FLAYH

FAHN, FAHN THINK 'BOUT FAHN

YOU KNOW WUT IT IS

I GOT DIS, YOU GOT DIS

MAH FREHND IS BAH MY RIGHT, EHHHHHH

I GOT DIS, YOU GOT DIS

NOW YOU KNOWWIT

[[Doomrider|KICKAHN IN TEH FRAUHNT SEAT]]

[[FATAL|KICKAHN IN TEH BAHCK SEAT]]

GOTTA MAKE MAH MIND UHP

WHICH SEAT CAHN I TEEEAAAAAAAAAKKKKE?!

IT'S FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GOTTA GET DAHWN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND, WEEKHEHND

FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GETTIN' DAWHN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

[[Dwarf Fortress|FAHN]],FAHN,FAHN,FAHN

LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND

YESHTERDEH WAS [[Thursday|THURDSDAY]]

TOHDEH IT IS FRIDEH, FRIDEH

WEH, WEH, WEH, SOH EXSHAITED

WE SO EXSHAITED

WEH GHONNA HAVE A BALL TODEH

TOMMOROH IS [[Saturday|SATURDAY]]

AND [[Sunday|SUNDEH]] COMES AFTAHWERDS.

I DOH WANT THIS WEEKEHND TO EEEEEHHHNND!

*Some of the verses are sung by a fairly incompetent rapper, but we don't care about that so resume the fail:*

IT'S FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GOTTA GET DAHWN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND, WEEKHEHND

FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GETTIN' DAWHN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

[[Dwarf Fortress|FAHN]],FAHN,FAHN,FAHN (YEEEEEAAAAAAAH)

LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND

IT'S FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GOTTA GET DAHWN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND, WEEKHEHND

FRIDEH, FRIDEH

GETTIN' DAWHN ON FRIDEH

EVERYBAWHDY'S LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

PAHRTAYAHN PAHRTAYAHN (YAH)

[[Dwarf Fortress|FAHN]],FAHN,FAHN,FAHN (YEEEEEAAAAAAAH)

LOOKAHN FORWAHRD TO TEH WEEKEHND

[[Indrick Boreale|FOR THE EMPRAH]]

==== Noise Marine? ====
Another theory is that she is actually a noise marine, making her an androgynous boy, but that's just how Slaanesh rolls. I mean, listening to her ear abortion would be enough to kill a man, so why not weaponize it?

Proof is here! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNCrCJ5FZu0&feature=related

However, it would seem Rebecca is in fact a Tzeentch champion, namely his "hope" aspect as she remains positive and hopeful that she'll have that singing career, rather than despair from all the flak she's gotten, and has been slowly changing into a half decent singer. Just as Planned.

==== In Conclusion ====
The evidence is all too clear: Rebecca Black ''is'' Boreale's daughter. WHO HAS FALLEN TO THE CAPRICIOUS WILES OF THE BLASPHEMOUS CHAOS GODS!!!

Sadly, this fact does not make her not suck ass.

==== Links and Such ====
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzfQwXEqYaI MY HAND IS A DOLPHIN]
* <s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0 The Original Song]</s> <s>Ms. Black finally had enough of the hate.</s> [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0&feature=plcp NOT ANYMOAR!]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPVTl9K0lqc The song minus the video.]

==== Gallery ====
<gallery>
Image:BlackHanson.jpg|Pic Related.
</gallery>

[[Category:RAGE]][[Category:FAIL]][[Category:Not related]]
</div>
</div>

== Meme Magic ==

A term that originally gained popularity during the 2016 American Presidency race where [[/pol/]] claimed that due to the powers of Kek, an Egyptian frog deity, managed to get Donald Trump elected into becoming president of the USA. While this is a case of the internet, well, being the internet; the term "meme magic" was officially born after /pol/ and /b/, assumed that by shitposting as many pro-Trump and anti-Hillary memes on every place they could get to; this collectively contributed to Trump being elected through, well, the magic of memes. Don't wrap your head around it too much, and just have fun about the concept.

Meme magic has since referred to people shitposting memes about a certain topic, then said meme suddenly becoming a reality outside of their community. The biggest exemplar about this on /tg/ are the [[Squats]], who after 20 years of being thrown out of the proverbial airlock, drifting into obscurity, and relegated into /tg/'s version of candlejack: has since come back into the game...sort of. Right now they're just a in Necromunda, but who cares? SPESS DORFS WERE BROUGHT BACK FROM THE GRAVE THROUGH THE POWER OF MEMES. Hell, the list below also shows that meme magic works a good deal for /tg/.

Also notable is that Pepe was making the rounds in 2010-2011, or even earlier just as part of a general trend to take the piss out of [[Furry|furry art]], then as part of the Rage Faces memeosphere that rapidly consumed Reddit during that time (an early warning sign of the cancer to come), and died along with the rest of those memes by late 2012 when everyone had gotten sick of the putrid mess. That it returned in force by late-2014 is eyebrow-raising in and of itself, as most memes that die ''that hard'' stay dead forever. And then Pepe, a stoner frog from a furry fetish webcomic, became a satirical political symbol for the 'alt-right', and was decried as a "[[Heresy|hate symbol]]" by the [[Inquisition|ADL]]. Going full circle, noting that 'kek' (a perversion of 'lel' which is a perversion of the ubiquitous 'lol') was an actual thing that existed and it was an Egyptian God that weirdos on [[/r9k/]] developed a lot of [[Chaos|bizarre ideas about]]. Which in turn, frog and all, even showed up at IRL political events. Meme magic indeed.

== BEAR WITNESS TO MY ASCENSION ==
While most memes never make it out of the shit pit of the internet, several of /tg/'s have been included in the source materials which spawned them, almost-certainly owing to the fact that their creators are [[Neckbeard|one of us]].

* [[Love Can Bloom|Love blooms]] [http://1d4chan.org/images/8/8c/LCB_canon.jpg in the Dark Heresy sourcebooks].
* [http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Closer.jpg The commissar] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrrCY7dgaqs wants to hit them with his sword].
* [[The Guy Who Cried Grendel| Adept Grendel]] [http://www.fantasyflightgames.com/ffg_content/dark-heresy/pdf/previews/radicals-preview-1-web-quality.pdf drew the attention of the inquisition].
* Alice [[Boone]] has become [http://1d4chan.org/images/8/86/Canonization.jpg a cautionary tale]. Truly [[Fantasy Flight Games]] is the beardiest of companies.
* [http://1d4chan.org/images/e/e6/JUST_AS_PLANNED.png Or maybe they are under] [[Tzeentch]] control. "[[Just as planned]]!"
* [[Commissar Dan]] was makes [http://1d4chan.org/images/3/3e/Dancanon.png one last glorious charge with Fluffy.]
* Regimental Standard advises you on hairstyling to avoid [[Dawn of War II]]'s [https://regimental-standard.com/2018/08/22/avoiding-hair-esy/ hairesy].

== See Also ==
* Many memes take the form of recurring characters. See [[List of /tg/ Characters]].

[[Category:meme]]
[[Category:copypasta]]

Isekai

2019-05-12T04:13:38Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Isekai and /tg/ */

Mythology

2019-05-10T23:51:58Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Urban Legend */

{{cleanup}}
In the olden days, before science existed, people sought explanations for why the world exists as it does. Humans being humans, their first explanations revolved around ascribing human-like characteristics to natural phenomena, which in turn became the first gods worshiped by humankind.

From there, stories spread about the nature of the gods. In time, people began telling other stories that sought to explain such things as the origins of humankind, what happens after death, or the exploits of ancient heroes. Many other mythical creatures are thought to have started the same way - for example, stories of giants being an attempt to explain the existence of massive fossilized bones (which we now know belonged to long-extinct animals such as mammoths). As these stories passed down from generation to generation as either legends or religion, it gave birth to the fantasy genre we all knew and love.

In a sense, '''mythology''' is a blend of history and fantasy, with elements of what might have really happened wrapped up in cultural beliefs, and the shaped by the worldview of the societies that created the myths in question. Even in the present day, more than a few such myths are still prevalent despite their no longer being openly supernatural, such as the story of George Washington and the cherry tree.

Older myths often contained bizarre and fucked up shit like incest and rape, because people in ye olden times [[Slaanesh|were fucking deranged and kinky as all hell]], and as far as they were concerned, nothing was off limits.

Put far less bluntly, several cultures saw their gods as models ''OF'' human behavior rather than FOR human behavior, and as such are not inherent indicators of how [[/d/|"deviant"]] a society was (though it also doesn't mean they might not have been fucked up in some ways). Naturally, exceptions to this "rule" do exist, e.g. Buddhism, where the central figurehead Buddha is one to be emulated rather than worshiped directly (which is apparent if you're not the kind of brainless worm [[Derp|who thinks all religion is the same]]).

Shifts in mythological narratives can also occur due to cultural osmosis and/or conflict; some "foreign" god are integrated into local mythos or considered an aspect of a local god, while other gods (usually from conquered peoples) were sometimes demonized, [[Demon|maybe even literally]].

With different cultures from country to country, mythologies all had their own angels/demons/spirits/energies, with their moralities varying based on how their own cultures and others perceived them. Natural phenomena (the sun, the sea, storms, etc.) and common abstracts (chaos, order, art, etc.) will inevitably feature in nearly any culture's pantheon.

==Connection with Fantasy Genres==
As you can see, many an author took interest in the old legends and decided to include its elements in their own stories. Notably, Tolkien took many elements from the Norse and Germanic Mythologies and popularized the concept of fantasy races like Dwarfs and Elves.

It bears mentioning that, between these connections and the fact that some mythologies form the basis for a few modern-day beliefs, e.g. the Abrahamic religions, while others often incorporate historical and semi-historical figures (with obvious overlap), liberties will be taken with adapting such figures to a given fiction, the same as it would be with any other adapation. {{BLAM|'''TL;DR The following descriptions have no ''necessary'' bearing on the matter of whether or not a given being exists.'''}} [[Skub|That's a matter we'll leave to the reader.]]

==Mythologies==
===Greco-Roman===
There's a god for every aspect of ordinary life, like smithing, governing and war. The most important gods/goddess you need to know are '''Jupiter/Zeus''', the guy with the lightning power who is the king of the gods; '''Juno/Hera''', wife of Zeus
and goddess of marriage, childbirth, and women; '''Minerva/Athena''', goddess of wisdom and war born from Jupiter having a massive headache [[Sisters of Battle|fully grown up and armed]]; '''Dis Pater/Pluto/Hades''', Jupiter's eldest brother and the god of most of the Greco-Roman afterlife; '''Neptune/Poseidon''', Jupiter's other brother and the god of the seas; '''Apollo''', god of the sun, music, and archery; '''Diana/Artemis''', goddess of the moon and the hunt; '''Ceres/Demeter''', goddess of the harvest; '''Mercury/Hermes''', messenger of the gods; '''Venus/Aphrodite''', goddess of sex and love; '''Mars/Ares''', god of war; '''Vulcan/Hephasteus''', god of the forge; '''Vesta/Hestia''', goddess of the hearth; '''Bacchus/Dionysus''', god of wine and drunken revelry.

According to Greek myth, the first beings to come into existence were '''Gaia''' (the Earth) and '''Uranus''' (the sky). They had three sets of children: the Cyclopses, the Hecatonchires (giants with a hundred hands), and the Titans. Uranus imprisoned the first two in Tartarus, the deepest part of the underworld. This upset Gaia and she called upon the Titans to castrate their father with a flint scythe she had made. '''Saturn/Kronos/Cronus''', the youngest of their number, agreed and duly carried it out, becoming the new king of the world. However, Uranus warned Cronus that he too would be overthrown by his children.

Cronus sought to avoid this, so he ate each one of them as a new one is born from his wife Rhea, but Rhea hid Zeus and fooled Cronus into eating a rock. Zeus then grows up and tricks his father into drinking wine mixed with mustard which makes him puke, saving all his brothers and sisters inside his father's belly (and who were somehow undigested), thus igniting a war that leads to the overthrow of the Titans. This event is known as '''The Titanomachy''' (Battle of the Titans). After all the Titans had been imprisoned in Tartarus and the Cyclopses and Hecatonchires freed, Zeus formed a government with the rest of his gods while living a [[Slaanesh|comfy hedonist life where he raped many mortal girls and had many bastard sons for the lulz]].

Roman myth can't agree on anything, because, unlike Grecian legends, it isn't racist and isolationist as fuck and takes from all Indo-European religions it encountered. This also means that it deviates from the "twelve important gods" rule that the Greeks had, and every area and time period had its own important gods. Imagine it as something akin to ancient Hinduism, minus all the mysticism (at least until all the Egyptian-esque mystery cults started popping up at the dawn of the Empire) and with the occasional emperor being declared a god after his death.

[[:Category:Greek Mythology|The stuff introduced in Greek myth]] is pretty widespread. Some of it so widely used people forget it came from the Greeks in the first place.

Interestingly, [[Eldar]] and [[High Elves|Elves]] [[Dark Elves|of the]] [[Wood Elves|Warhammer]] worlds took a lot of elements from Indo-European myth, the prime examples of the west being Greco-Roman mythology.

'''Most notable heroes with lots of media adaptions:'''Zeus (in his more positive depictions) Hercules/Heracles, Theseus, Perseus, Daedalus, the leaders of both sides of the Trojan War (Achilles, Hector, Paris etc.).

'''Most notable villains in media adaptions:''' Zeus (in his more negative depictions), Hades (only a villain in media adaptions; the original Hades was considered highly honorable if rather dour), Hera (but only in works involving Zeus' bastards), the Titans, Ares, various offspring of Echidna.

'''Artifacts that tend to show up in media adaptions:''' Pandora's box, Daedalus's inventions (especially the wings of Icarus), the sun chariot, the Nemean Lion skin, ambrosia, all sorts of stuff used by the gods (Zeus's thunderbolts, Hades's helmet of invisibility, Neptune's trident, Hermes's winged sandals, Athena's shield -- sometimes with [[Medusa]]'s head on it...).

===Norse===
Like the Greeks, there's a god for every aspect and their most hated enemies are tower tall humanoid creature who the gods/goddess also related to, but were called Giants instead of Titans. The Norse mythos contains a lot more references to snow, winter and wolves than the Greek one. This is somewhat unsurprising.

Basically, in the early world's life cycle, there were these '''Frost Giants''' who [[wat|were sweats born from the armpit of '''Ymir''', the first of giants]]. There was also a giant cow, '''Audhumla''', the udder of which Ymir frequented. [[wat|Then that giant cow accidentally created a god by just licking a salty rock]], '''Buri''', who then "begat a son" - fuck knows how. This son, '''Bor''', had a wife '''Bestla''' who gave birth to '''Odin''' and his brothers. Odin does not like giants since they come out of Ymir's stinking armpits like rats and they eat a lot so he and his brothers '''Vili''' and '''Ve''' killed Ymir. [[Khorne|Ymir was so fuckhuge that his blood caused a massive flood that killed other Frost Giants]]. Odin then used Ymir's body to forge a new world. The death of Ymir also brought forth many life forms without Odin's touch like the Dwarves, who were basically [[Nurgle|Ymir's corpse maggots]]. Then like the Greek gods, Odin formed a government with gods/goddess of each daily life aspect. And then [[The End Times|Ragnarok]] will come.

'''Notable Characters:'''
*Odin - The All father and king of the gods, as mentioned above.
*Frigg- Wife of Odin. Not much is known about her.
*Thor - Son of Odin, and god of Thunder, Storms and Oak Trees. Most prominent of all Norse mythology in pop culture due to the Marvel hero sharing the same name and a family of similarly Norse-inspired folks (Loki, Odin and Hela).
*Loki - A shape shifting trickster god said to be the blood-brother of Odin, who likes to dick about with his fellow deities. Also having his own Marvel adaptation, Loki is frequently shown as a villain primarily due to his role in the death of Baldur (see below).
*Baldur- Son of Odin and Frigg. God of light and the sun, said to be the most beloved of all the gods. Frigg asked all things to swear an oath not to harm Baldur, save for the mistletoe bush, which she thought to be harmless. Loki, being a spiteful jackass, took advantage of this oversight and arranged for Baldur to be slain by a mistletoe dart.
*Heimdall- The watchman of the gods, said to have senses so keen he could hear grass growing on the other side of the world.
*The Valkyries - Adaptions only, they're forces of nature at best in the original myths.
*Fafnir - Son of Hreidmar who after being cursed by Andvari's gold, becomes a fuckhuge dragon yo.
*Sigurd - Also known as Siegfried, this top bloke single-handedly slew Fafnir <s>and was later murdered</s>
*Grendel - technically from Beowulf, this guy is the son of Cain and is "harrowed" by the sounds of singing from the King Hrothgar's mead-hall Heorot. One day he snaps and attacks the hall, continuing to attack it every night for twelve years. Did we mention he [[Chaos|consumes the men he kills?]]

'''Notable Artifacts:'''
*Mjölnir - Thor's Hammer. Could return to him when thrown like a boomerang, but has a rather short handle because of Loki messing with its creation.
*Lævateinn - A really powerful sword.
*Gram - Sigurd's Sword, used to kill Fafnir.
*Gungnir - Odin's Spear.
*Megingjörð - Belt of <s>Giant's Strength</s> Power.

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==== Dwarf ====
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While there many mythologies that have different telling of the dwarf race, we will be talking about the Norse version.

After Odin murderfucked Ymir and killed a bunch of giants through blood flooding (see above) maggots came out and were festering on Ymir's flesh. Yes. [[Nurgle|These corpse maggots are the precursor of the dwarfs.]] So Odin found these maggots and turned them into the dwarf we all knew and love. [[Dwarfs (Warhammer Fantasy Battle)|They have the talent of mead brewing, metal smithing and making magical artifact]]. Many of iconic weapon like Thor's hammer are crafted by the dwarfs. But most importantly of the dwarfs creation is perhaps Odin's spear, why? BECAUSE IT IS NAMED "GUNGNIR"!! that's like the name of the warhammer dwarf god "Grungni", only with the letter "r" in the wrong place.

Anyway, other things about dwarfs is that they can turned to stone if they exposed to the sun for too long (wtf were they vampires too?). They are sometimes refer to as "black elf" since they were corpse maggot and they were described as being dead or resembling human corpses.

There are also four known dwarfs in the mythologies: Austri, Vestri, Norðri, and Suðri (which means “East,” “West,” “North,” and “South”) and they got the crappy job of holding the corner of the sky (aka the Atlas treatment) just because they have super strength.
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==== Elves ====
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In Norse myth, they were demi-god like beings whose sole purpose is to be [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|more beautiful and superior-than-you]]. They are described as [[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure|"more beautiful than the sun"]] with their demi-god status apparently linked to the gods of Vanir and Aesir. Their lord is a Vanir god called Freyr, who rules the elves’ homeland, Alfheim. They commonly cause humans to suffer illness but have the power to cure any illness only if sacrifices are offered to them, what a bunch of dicks. It is also possible for humans to become elves upon death. Elf and human can also interbreed; the mix of human and elf is described as having the look of a human but possess extraordinary intuitive and magical powers.
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===Abrahamic (Judaism, Christianity, Islam)===
The one everyone most familiar with in the West and the Middle East, since you learn them in church. Or synagogue, or mosque, you get the idea.

Much of the Abrahamic mythology is drawn from the old Hebrew bible though has been expanded considerably by Prose and Poetry over the centuries meaning that there is a wealth of third-party, non-canon material out there for DMs to use in their campaign settings. Christian mythology is one of the many mythologies that were derived from Jewish mythology, the same goes for Islamic mythology and many others from Middle Eastern countries. Hence, they are collectively referred to as "Abrahamic" after the Biblical patriarch.

So in Abrahamic mythology there is only one god, or at least only one ''true'' god: '''YHVH''', which most people would just refer to him as '''GOD''' since his name is too sacred to speak of and because he is the only god that exists, with all others being false idols and products of human imagination. In fact, we don't even know how its pronounced, the two most common anglicizations being '''Yahweh''' and '''Jehovah'''. In Islam, he is instead called '''Allah'''.

Before the world was born, according to Milton - there was the "war in heaven" [[War in Heaven|(not this one)]] where [[Horus|Lucifer]], [[Horus Heresy|the most perfect of God's creations, the best of the archangels rebelled against God with a third of the angels in Heaven, but was defeated and cast down to Hell]], in which he was imprisoned.

After that, God creates the world. It is said that he created the world in 7 days, hence the seven-day work week we all know and love: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday (although those names themselves are drawn from various pagan, Roman, and Norse traditions -- Sun, Moon, Tyr, Woden/Odin, Thor, Frigga/Freya, and Saturn -- because flexibility is important when it comes to winning converts). He then created many animals, plants and the first two humans: Adam and Eve. He observed them in the Garden of Eden ''(aka his research facility)'' watching them having fun and telling them that they could do anything they wanted, except from eat the fruit of one particular tree in the garden. But that promise was broken when the woman, Eve was tempted by a winged serpent -who according to Milton, was actually Lucifer in disguise seeking to avenge himself by corrupting humanity- to eat the fruit, which held within it the knowledge of good and evil. Adam and Eve having eaten the fruit, gained knowledge and dignity which made them embarrassed by their lack of clothing. God found out and exiled from the garden them to the mortal world. The serpent is also punished with his wings taken from him, turning him into the [[snek]] we all knew and feared. According to Christianity, this also introduced original sin, fundamentally changing the nature of humankind from natural innocence to inherent wickedness.

In the mortal world, Adam and Eve worked hard to survive and later conceived two sons: Cain and Abel. Cain was a farmer while Abel was a shepherd. When they both offered their produce to God, God only favored Abel's. ''(According to some, it was because Cain hid his best offering from God. By this point if you are a true [[Vampire: The Masquerade]] fan, you would know what's coming next, but without the vampire shit.)'' Cain killed Abel, and his punishment for murder was to never farm ever again; wherever he spilled his brother's blood, the earth became cursed so that it can never grow anything. Basically denying Cain's favorite job and career. However, punishments differ in other mythologies and it's a [[skub|clusterfuck]]. Adam and Eve later had the third son Seth, which is the true ancestor of mankind and [[Command and Conquer|Cain is then exiled to the land of the Nod]] where he built the City of Enoch (because he can't farm) and conceived many other descendents. There's also the claim that Eve was not the first wife, but Lilith, a woman who was created from the same dirt as Adam. Felt too hot shit for Adam, so she ran away with an archangel called Samael ''(the Fallen name for Lucifer in some stories)'' though in other stories she ran away a demon prince called Asmodeus [[Asmodeus|(<s>not this one</s> actually, probably yes this one)]] and begat a whole race of demons called the Lilim or Lilitu. In [[Vampire: The Masquerade]] however, she taught Cain cool dark magic and shit.

As for the rest, it's easier to find the nearest Bible and/or Koran and read it for yourself. Just don't call it mythology where anyone can hear you, unless you enjoy offending people and don't particularly care about being ostracized or worse, depending on where you do it.

'''Most notable heroes with lots of media adaptions:'''
*Jesus: Please tell us you're joking. If for some reason you're actually serious and have a few hours to spare, find the nearest church and ask whoever's in charge to tell you about him. He will be happy to give you the full story.
*Abraham: The common tie between the three Abrahamic religions, his covenant with God makes him and his descendants the first of the Jews.
*Samson: Legendary hero whose power was tied to never cutting his hair
*David: Once killed a mighty warrior with a slingshot. He became the king of Israel afterwards.
*Solomon: David's son, also King of Israel. Better at his job then just about anybody who came after him, and (more relevant to media appearances outside of direct-Biblical-adaption) frequently reputed to be a (usually holy) sorcerer of some kind.
*Moses: See the Exodus for details.
*Noah: See below for his boating adventure.
*A few angels; notably, only two are given names: Michael and Gabriel (there's also an Abbadon in the Book of Revelation, but he's usually considered a Fallen Angel like Lucifer). Also notable and mentioned in the Bible: the Angel of Death, aka The Destroying Angel (no name given Biblically, but the Catholic and most Eastern Orthodox Apocryphas (as well as Jewish tradition, especially the later Kaballic one), identify him as Azrael).
*God is rarely depicted as a particularly active hero, but may [[Just as planned|work in mysterious ways.]]

'''Most notable villains with lots of media adaptions:'''
*Satan/Lucifer/The Devil (may or may not be the same character): With the many different interpretations, it's hard to tell which is which, but the general gist is that one angel disagreed with how God was doing business and staged a great rebellion. God cast him and his kin out of heaven and forced them to live in a realm where they are never able to feel his presence, and now he takes his hatred of God out on humanity by leading them into damnation. If you want to trigger people, just ask how he could have fallen and introduce evil to the universe when God's supposed to be omnipotent, omniscient, and purely good. It's been giving theologians headaches for centuries.
*Judas Iscariot: One of Jesus' apostles who sold him out to the Romans, leading to the crucifixion. He hung himself shortly afterwards in a fit of despair.
*Cain: Adam and Eve's son after being cast out of paradise. Murdered his brother Abel for petty reasons.
*Pharaoh from the tale of Moses
*Sometimes God and/or various angels are depicted negatively, as either being passive in the face of evil or complicit ([[Adeptus Evangelion|or being giant monsters out to destroy the world]]). Naturally, those kinds of interpretations are highly frowned upon for the obvious reason that people still worship God and do not like it when other people call His actions evil.
** It should be added that Fallen Angels are a Canonical (as in, actually appear in the New Testiment) option to have Evil Angels without making God Himself Evil, although it still runs into the problem of why God made his own angels susceptible to becoming evil in the first place. (Note that this is more an early Jewish and Christian motif than a later Jewish or Islamic one, due to changes and differences, respectively, in theology.)

'''Non-Biblical figures who show up in media adaptions'''
*Lilith, the fanon first wife of Adam, the first man. It must be emphasized that she '''does not exist in any biblical source''' (other then the first woman being created twice--but then again, a lot of things happen twice, slightly differently described each time, in Genesis), but that being said, was reputed to be one of Satan's many wives and a mother of demons.
*The Wandering Jew and Longinus: because Jesus implied that certain people listening to him speak would be around for the Second Coming (although two obvious alternate readings are that Jesus was talking about his shortly impending Resurrection, or referring to the then-future, but politically easy to foresee, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Jewish%E2%80%93Roman_War Great Revolt of 66 AD], whose results could easily be seen as something that would be talked about in the same tone as the end of the world at the time), two non-biblical figures show up, starting in medieval works: The Wandering Jew, an Jew of the era, cursed to immortality, and Longinus, the Roman soldier who pierced Jesus' side with a spear during the Crucifixion, similarly cursed to immortality. Can show up as villains, heroes, or mere cameos. (Both are more likely to show up in literature and RPGs then visual media; Longinus, in particular, is the identity claimed by an important historical vampire in [[Vampire: The Requiem]].)
* Various non-Biblically mentioned Angels.

'''Artifacts that tend to show up in media adaptions:'''
*The Holy Grail (either the cup that Christ drank from at the Last Supper, or a cup used for various purposes during the Crucifixion, or it was used for both)
*The True Cross (so named because of the dozens of other crosses falsely passed off as the one Jesus was crucified on--not helped by the fact that the Roman Empire crucified a ''lot'' of people, as Crucifixion was the standard Roman method of execution of non-Romans.)
*The Spear of Destiny and various other objects associated with the Crucifixion: In certain media, the Spear of Destiny (which pierced his side during crucifixion) as well as the nails which pinned him to the cross are considered gifted with magical powers because they have the blood of God on them.
** Other objects from the Crucifixion that can show up in media and are sometimes (but more rarely then the above) assigned supernatural powers include the Crown of Thorns, the 30 pieces of silver payed to Judas, the whip used for the 39 lashes, and [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Sponge a sponge].
*The Veil of Veronica and/or the Shroud of Turin: These are two relics that purported to be pieces of cloth that were miraculously imprinted with an image of Christ's face after being in contact with him sometime during the crucial four days. The former is lost; the latter is of rather dubious authenticity.
*The Ark of the Covenant: Where Moses supposedly put the shards of the original Ten Commandments (and possibly Aaron's rod and a pot of manna). Famously disappeared during one of the various times Jerusalem was sacked.
*The Fruit of Knowledge of Good and Evil
*The Fruit of Life.

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==== Noah's Ark ====
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Humankind had become incredibly corrupt and sinful, so God decided to have the sea level to suddenly rise to the kind you see in disaster movie like [[/tv/|The Day After Tomorrow]]. He instructed the sole righteous man on Earth named Noah to build [[Imperial Navy|an ark big enough to contain every animals and in the world as well as his family]], or just each animal species with their own female and male pairing so that they could reproduce. God even instruct Noah to build the ark with the size he demands: 300 cubits in length, 50 cubits in width and 30 cubits in height (450 × 75 × 45 ft or 137 × 22.9 × 13.7 m), [[just as planned|it's almost as if God intended this]]. The ark is also made out of some probably extinct wood called "Gopher" (that's just how the Hebrew word is pronounced, ''gofer'' -- it's not related to the furry critter), probably the best kind since the ark has to withstand waves after waves of tsunami for a long time and a tragically, all of them are probably used up just for the ship. After the flood came and everyone is on the ark, they basically float for 40 days until the water goes down.
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==== Moses and the Exodus of the Hebrew ====
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Another myth took place in Egypt. There once lived the Israelite (later the Jewish) people, the chosen people of God. They had come to reside in Egypt were living in peacefully harmony until one day some asshole [[Tomb Kings|Pharaoh]] came and starts to oppress the shit out of them. The Pharaoh hated how the Hebrews breeds like rats so they had [[grimdark|every one of their male children to drown in the river of Nile]]. Moses, our hero of the story survived as an infant and was adopted by Pharaoh's daughter (oh the irony). Moses eventually grow up and learn of God '''Yahweh''' and is commanded to free his people and guide them on an exodus to the promised land. Pharaoh and his army tried to stop them but god basically said fuck you and send [[Nurgle|twelve powerful plagues]] to fucked them over. [[Nagash|The plague is so effective that Egypt became a frigging wasteland, but no undead unfortunately]]. Later, Moses guide his people to close the red sea where he do the iconic sea splitting to make a crossing passage. The Pharaoh and his goons tried to take chase but was once again pwned by the sudden sea crushing them both side when they were on the sea. After traveling with his fellow Hebrews, Moses decided to talk to the god on the mountain for sometime and came back with the '''Ten Commandments''', ten rules willed by god and if these rules were crossed, the severity of the punishment will be depend on which rule was broke (Ex. commit [[heresy]] like [[Chaos God|worshiping other gods]] will be awarded with [[exterminatus|genocide]] of the entire cities of man, woman, chidren and animals). Unfortunately, some of his unfaithful followers were slacking off and was worshiping some chaos-looking-brother-fucking-golden-bull-idol and was ordered by Moses to have them execute. Moses and his follower arrived to their promised land after a delay of 40 years due to the Israelites' incessant disbelief in God, which is, unsurprisingly, Israel! The Israelites then spend a long chunk of their history trying to kill off the native Caananites, all while being repeatedly punished for continually abandoning God's worship in favor of false idols.
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====Things drawn from Abrahamic Myth / Demonology ====
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The "bibles" ''(Jewish, Christian and Islamic holy books)'' and associated apocrypha are undoubtedly HUGE sources of inspiration for game developers, particularly [[Dungeons and Dragons]] where monsters are ported over, virtually unchanged and names of significant figures are also often used.

*The idea that Hell has Nine layers - [[Baator]] - though where Dante's layers have distinct punishments, Baator's layers are the realms of powerful lords.
**Names of significant demon/devil characters: [[Asmodeus]] - demon of Lust, '''Baalzebul''' ''(or other variants like Baalzebul, Beelzebub)'' - demon of gluttony, or '''Mammon''' - demon of avarice
*Different orders of Angels, or angel analogues such as [[Genie]]s (or djinn, as they were originally called in Islamic tradition)
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====Gnosticism ====
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A wide family of heretical beliefs mixing Abrahamic theology with Greek philosophy, Gnosticism believes in the existence of two gods; the true omnipotent God of the spiritual world and the Demiurge, the false god who created the Earth. Seeing as the world was created by a flawed creator, it is inherently flawed itself, so your goal ought to be to transcend the physical plane and escape to the perfect world of the spirit. Typically the Demiurge was identified with the god of the Old Testament, while the true god was seen as the one preached by Jesus, in an attempt to explain the apparent dissonance between their depictions. Where Satan fits into the picture depends on the exact sect, some portraying him as a force of liberty that seeks to free mankind from the tyranny of the Demiurge while others see him as seeking to further mankind's imprisonment by distracting them from spiritual matters with his temptations. Often associated with the western occult tradition of Hermeticism, also a mixture of Abrahamic and Greek traditions, though not all Hermetics are necessary Gnostics. There were countless different sects of Gnosticism, and describing the differences between them would likely require its own article.

While Gnosticism is hardly the most well-known religion due to the early Christian Church's ultimately successful efforts in wiping it out and the lack of surviving information on how it was practiced, it has influenced several fantasy settings, like [[Kult]], [[The Elder Scrolls]] and both of the [[World of Darkness]] Mage games.
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===Egyptian Mythology===
Most well known for its collection of gods with [[Furry|the heads of animals]]. Unlike Greek or Norse mythology, has very little emphasis on mortal or demimortal heroes.

Egyptian mythology is wildly inconsistent due to spanning numerous cultures over thousands of years: for instance, the world is alternately said to have been created by Ra, Atem, Ptah, Thoth, or a collection of eight gods known as the Ogdoad. Whoever was the supreme god mainly depended on what city you were in and what time period it was, but the most well-known one was the sun god Ra. A common theme was the maintaining of a divine order known as Ma'at. Maintaining Ma'at on Earth was seen as the prime responsibility of the Pharoah, a priest-king who was seen as the bridge between mortals and gods. Another major theme is the concept of the death and rebirth of mortals and gods alike, leading to the famous Egyptian practices of [[Mummy|mummification]] and the construction of elaborate tombs.

'''Notable Gods:'''

*Ra: Falcon-headed (although he was also often depicted as a ram or a scarab) god of the sun. During the night, he voyaged through the underworld where he would battle the monstrous serpent Apophis.

*Osiris: Formerly the god-king of Egypt, he was murdered by his brother Set and became the god of the afterlife. Due to the Egyptian obsession with funerary rites, this made him a very important god.

*Isis: Sister/wife of Osiris and goddess of magic and wisdom. Her sorcery was what allowed Osiris to rise from the dead to become god of the afterlife. Her influence was particularly strong during the Roman Empire, and some scholars believe that elements of her worship may have influenced Christianity by way of the veneration of the Virgin Mary.

*Horus (no, not that [[Horus]]): Falcon-headed sky god and son of Osiris. Waged war against Set to avenge his father. This included humiliating him by [[/d/|ejaculating in his salad]]. He is heavily associated with the symbol known as the Eye of Horus, which was believed to protect against evil.

*Anubis: Psychopomp deity. Although in actual Egyptian mythology he was only Osiris' servant, his striking jackal-headed appearance has made him more well-known.

*Set: God of deserts, who due to being associated with foreign invaders was demonized into an evil god who murdered Osiris. Wasn't the ultimate villain of Egyptian Mythology, that would be Apophis (who was so evil Set was portrayed as fighting him even after being demonized), but Apophis is nowhere near as infamous.

*Apophis: Essentially, the God of Evil and Darkness. Enemy of all living things, and the sort of guy who picks a fight with Ra each and every night, even though he loses every time.

===Japanese Mythology===
Japanese laymen don't really bother separating their religions, taking up whatever is convenient or trendy at a particular phase in their life, and thus the major religions (Shinto, Buddhism), some more minor ones, and various folk heroes exist simultaneously. Rarely touched by non-Japanese works that aren't the pantheon for [[Japan]] analogs.

According to the Kojiki, the world (or just Japan) was created by 2 gods: Izanami (the wife) and Izanagi (the husband). There were 5 other gods with difficult to pronounced name like Kotoamatsukami (別天津神, "Separate Heavenly Deities") before them but they entrust these two for the world's creation because they are gender-less and thus unable to procreate next generation. Izanami and Izanagi belongs to the Kamiyonanayo ("Seven Generations of the Age of the Gods") and they shape the earth with this totally awesome spear called Ame-no-nuboko (天沼矛, "heavenly jewelled spear") and create islands, lands using salts.
They then settled down onto the land they've created and mated. Unfortunately, the first two children: Hiruko and Awashima they've conceived were mutants, badly formed that the parent decided to send them on a lone boat trip before their 3rd birthday (Hiruko survived, worked hard and became a god known as Ebisu). Turns out after confronting their elder about the misfortune, it was Izanami's fault for not acting properly during the mating ritual, causing birth defect and such. After some proper mating, their descendants were born, that would eventually be modern day Japanese islands(or they children's name were given a land to lived on and those land were named after them). Izanami then died giving birth to Kagu-tsuchi, a human torch wannabe that burned his mother upon his birth. Izanagi was angered and behead his child into eight piece, which would became 8 volcanoes and his blood on Izanagi's sword became the sea god Watatsumi and rain god Kuraokami. This also marks the end of the creation.

Izanagi was in grief that he traveled to Yomi ("land of the dead") to see his dead wife. Unfortunaly, Izanami already belong to Yomi after eating its food. Izanagi's stubbornness to not left Izanami in the dark land, he waited there because Izanami agree to go back if she had some rest, but the worried Izanagi decided to see what's going on with his dead wife by lighting a torch using his magical head comb only to find his wife was already a maggot ridden ghoul like monster. Izanagi scared shitless that he ran away while Izanami called Shikome (ugly underworld woman) to chase him. After a long looney tune chase that involves Izanagi's use of his magical hair dress and his urine to stop his pursuer, he eventually return to the living realm with Izanami cursing that she will kill 1000 person everyday with Izanagi responded that he will give birth 1500 person if so.

'''Notable Characters:'''
*Izanami and Izanagi: See above.
*Amaterasu: Goddess of the sun. Japanese royal family once claimed descent from her, but stopped doing so after World War II. How the majority to entirety of Japan's people as a whole weren't as well, since far younger people are ancestors of the majority of far larger and less isolationist populations, was never explained.
*Susano-o: Amaterasu's brother and god of storms. Kicked out of heaven for being a dick. While walking the earth he proceeds to kill the Orochi, among other (anti-)heroics, and bribes his way back into heaven with the fat loot he finds.
**The Orochi: Giant nine-headed snake monster that likes to eat (?) female sacrifices. Susano-O gets it drunk and kills it, then he finds the Kusanagi on its corpse.
*The Buddhas: While normal Buddhists don't "worship" the Buddha, more Shinto leaning Japanese often do. See Buddhism whenever someone is assed to add it for how it's supposed to go. Gautama Buddha is the one people talk about when they say "The Buddha", but the completely separate Budai/Laughing Buddha is the main one ignorant westerners know the visual of.
**Various Buddhist demons: Mostly assholes that tried to stop people from achieving enlightenment. Some are actually former assholes who were redeemed by enlightened people and now act as protectors.
*The Four Heavenly Kings: Bishamonten, Jikokuten, Zouchouten and Koumokuten, the guardians of the North, East, South and West respectively. Their title is co-opted by everything (no seriously, '''everything''') with four members in Japanese culture, [https://legendsoflocalization.com/tricky-translations-2-the-four-heavenly-kings/ though westerners may not notice it because the title gets translated a shit ton of ways depending on the context].
*Yokai: Various mythical monsters. The most famous are the [[Kitsune]], Kamaitachi, [[Tengu]] and (though not always counted as one) [[Oni]].

'''Historical People Shrouded in Myth'''
*Emperor Jimmu: [[God-Emperor of Mankind|THE GOD EMPEROR OF JAPAN]] as well as the first Emperor. The descendants of Goddess Amaterasu and the leader of Yamato clan. Most of his records were old and depict him as a warrior hero god character accompanied by a three legged crow and wielding a long bow. He died at the age of 126 and has little to no worshipers in modern day other than having at least a shrine and grave.
*Abe no Seimei: A court magician who lived between 921 and 1005. Fiction tends to make him an actual wizard.
*Himiko: Queen of Japan around 200 AD. Chinese records make it clear she existed but very little is known about her.
*Masakado: Samurai who led a brief rebellion till 940. He's considered the god of Tokyo. His shrine/grave occupies some of the most expensive real-estate in the world, as it is thought that neglecting his shrine will cause his angry spirit to bring disaster upon Tokyo.
** Takiyasha Hime: His daughter. Fiction makes her a sorcerer with a toad [[Familiar]]. Possibly entirely fictional.
*Tomoe Gozen: A female [[Samurai]] that actually fought in battle in 1184.
*Oda Nobunaga: Self proclaimed "Demon King of the Sixth Heaven" (That's '''''historical fact''''' recorded by a Jesuit missionary who knew him personally). Defacto unifier of Japan, while the dominos he set up were falling, he was murdered by his retainer Akechi Mitsuhide for unknown reasons. His successors conquered the country after he did the hard parts, forming what would become the Tokugawa Shogunate. Since he was ruthless and called himself a demon, it's no mystery why fiction depicts him as a literal one.
*Hattori Hanzo: A general during the late Sengoku era. He's better known for allegedly being a [[Ninja]].
*Ishikawa Goemon: Bandit during the late Sengoku era, executed along with his infant son by being boiled alive after a failed assassination attempt on Nobunaga's successor. Reputed to be a Robin Hood-like figure and also allegedly a [[Ninja]].

'''Artifacts that tend to show up in media adaptions:'''
*The Imperial regalia (Kusanagi, Magatama and the Yata no Kagami): A sword, mirror, and rosary that are considered the badges of office for the emperor.
*Katana created by famous swordsmiths
**Muramasa: Swords created by the famous (and real) swordsmith Sengo Muramasa. Allegedly his swords have a taste for blood and are demonic in nature and can't be sheathed if they haven't tasted blood yet.
**Masamune: Even though Masamune lived hundreds of years before Muramasa, their swords are often counterparts in fantasy. In contrast to Muramasa, Masamune's blades are supposedly holy.
**Kotetsu: Nagasone Kotetsu was a quality swordsmith from the Edo period with a really fitting name (虎鉄 or "Tiger Iron"). His works are notable but if they show up in fiction expect them to be inferior to the above two.

===Arthurian Mythology===
The story of a boy who becomes king of England and his knights. Arthurian lore is unusual among mythology in that historians actually know the names and history of the authors who created most of it. This doesn't make it any more consistent, in-fact even authors directly continuing existing stories couldn't be assed to keep basic things consistent.

Of some minor note, the story of King Arthur ''may'' have some sorta kinda basis in reality. If he existed, he was apparently a '''general''', not king, who successfully fought in at least one battle to contain the invading Anglo-Saxons during the era after the collapse of the western Roman Empire. Given many, many washings through the story retelling and expanding machine after being combined with the mythos associated with the Holy Grail, we wind up with the King Arthur mythology.

'''Notable Characters:'''
*Arthur <s>(no shit are you fucking stupid oh my god jesus christ come on its IN THE FUCKIN-)</s>
*The Knights of the Round Table
**Lancelot: The closest of Arthur's companions and the greatest knight of the age, but also infamous for his long affair with Guinevere. Some scholars believe he was not part the original group of knights and actually just a completely separate fictional knight that met Arthur in a crossover and never left.
**Galahad: Lancelot's son. [[Grey Knights|Absolutely pure of heart]], and is this able to complete the quest for the Holy Grail. After finding it, he ascends into Heaven along with the Grail.
**Kay: Arthur's [[Gish]] step-brother. One of the earliest written knights, but nobody remembers him. Kay was a guy's name once upon a time.
*Merlin: Arthur's wizard and mentor, as well as the template for almost every other wizard in fantasy fiction since the genre was a thing. Works vary wildly on how benevolent he is and how he got his powers. Originally named Myrddin, but that sounded too close to "shit" for audiences that knew French, which was a lot of people at the time, so it was changed.
*Morgan le Fay: Merlin's opposite number. Sometimes Arthur's half-sister because fuck consistency. Depending on the story, she is either an ally or an enemy of Arthur.
*Guinevere: Arthur's wife. Falls for Lancelot shortly after they meet, and somehow their affair goes unnoticed until exposed by Morgan le Fay and Mordred.
*Lady of the Lake: A fey chick who gives Arthur Excalibur after the sword in the stone breaks. Since most adaptations make the sword in the stone and Excalibur one in the same her role varies wildly. Sometimes said to be Lancelot's adoptive mother.
*Mordred: Most commonly depicted as Arthur's bastard son with his half-sister (who may or may not be Morgan le Fay depending on the story), but like a lot of things in Arthur Mythos his background is inconsistent as hell. All that's certain is he doesn't like Arthur and wants to take over.
*The Green Knight: Shows up to the castle one day and challenges each knight to chop his head off with an axe, on the condition he gets to do the same thing to them next year. Nobody is willing to accept the challenge... except Gawain. Gawain beheads the Green Knight [[Dullahan|only for him to pick the head right back up and walk away]], reminding Gawain of their deal. Gawain survives thanks to the the Green Girdle and learns the whole thing really was a test of the knights' courage by Morgan. If this sounds uncharacteristically consistent to you, it's because he only appeared in one story, albeit a well regarded one.
*The Black Knight: There's a few different ones, or it could just be another case of zero consistency. (It should be noted that knights with black armor were actual semi-historical figures; blackening up your armor made it vastly easier to maintain for a solo knight without a squire, so a Knight without a liege sometimes did so while either seeking new employment, or just plain wandering; alternately, the knight painted up his armor and shield to conceal his identity. Either way, you have a knight without a master, a worrying prospect to the feudal mind.)
*Very few adaptions use the Anglo-Saxons, the people who the earliest chronicles claim he fought against.

'''Notable Artefacts:'''
Arthurian myth has some of the highest artifact density out there. Among the most famous are:
*The Holy Grail: Has some connections to the life of Jesus, see above. Short version is that it grants immortality.
*The Sword in The Stone and/or Excalibur: The legendary sword which acts as Arthur's badge of office. In some versions of the myth they are the same sword, others not; some versions even name the other sword "Caliburn"--which is just a translation of the French "Excalibur" to Latin)
*The Green Girdle: Obtained by Sir Gawain in ''Sir Gawain and the Green Knight''. A girdle of green silk and none who wear it can be killed.
*The Round Table itself: Most works just make the round table a mundane table, but a few give it magical powers of some kind. The symbolic importance is that all knights are considered equal to each other as it lacks any ends for a head to claim.

=== Chinese Mythology ===
Since China lived right next to various, heavily religious nations countries like India and Tibet, their mythology contains many gods from Buddhism, although the ancient Chinese tended more towards Taoism as a general rule. Chinese mythology is pretty well known and famous in Asia and one of its most famous myths, "The Journey to the West", brought forth near-endless adaptations, everyone's [[anime|favorite anime/manga about a certain half-monkey xeno super fighter]].

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==== World Creation according to Chinese Mythology ====
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The Chinese mythos displays a heavy Taoist belief influenced by the Zhou Dynasty that passed it down from generation to generation until the Three Kingdoms era, where one Xu Zheng finally committed the story to paper. Basically, there is but formless [[Chaos]] in the beginning and it coalesced into a cosmic egg for about 18,000 years. Within it, the perfectly opposed principles of Yin and Yang became balanced, and Pangu emerged (or woke up) from the egg. Pangu was a [[anime|Tengan Toppa]]-sized sky titan and a hairy primitive humanoid; he would separate the yin and yang (earth and sky) by lifting up the sky and holding it for the next 18,000 frigging years (because fuck you Atlas, you derivative hack). While doing his lifting, both the sky and earth grew ten feet (3 meters) everyday.

Pangu finally died at the end of this period, with the world forming from several of his remains: His breath became the wind, mist and clouds; his voice, thunder; his left eye, the sun; his right eye, the moon; his head, the mountains and extremes of the world; his blood, rivers; his muscles, fertile land; his facial hair, the stars and Milky Way; his fur, bushes and forests; his bones, valuable minerals; his bone marrow, sacred diamonds; his sweat, rain; and the fleas on his fur carried by the wind became animals. Kinda similar to [[#Norse|Ymir the giant]], except he wasn't murdered and it wasn't metal enough that the blood became killer tsunamis.
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==== Nüwa ====
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An ancient goddess named Nüwa was the one who created humanity out of clay. She was busy but the the pillar holding the sky broke so she had to fix it herself using a giant azure turtle's shell as water container. But even then that is not enough so she had to sacrificed herself to repair the sky. There's also other version where she is depicted as the Chinese version of Eve, as well as the daughter of Jade Emperor, the first god.
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==== Xiyou Ji (Journey To The West) ====
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Xiyou Ji (or ''Journey To the West'') is an important historical Chinese fantasy adventure novel about a journey undertaken to India by a Chinese Buddhist monk, known as Tang Sanzang/Xuanzang or Tripitaka, to get better copies of the Buddhist sacred texts. In this, he has recruited four protectors throughout the journey who agree to help him in atonement for their various sins; two guys nobody cares about: a disgraced commander from heaven named Zhu Bajie, whom was punished by the gods into a pig like beastmen (who ''everyone'' calls an idiot, even ''the narrator'') and Sha Wujing, a random sand bandit whom was also from heaven and was banished (the black sheep of the party); a horse (whom was secretly the dragon king's son, also disgraced); and the ''real'' protagonist, Sun Wukong, the Monkey King (Yes, DragonBall Z started out life as a riff on Journey To The West, so [[/co/|Superman fanboys]] claiming originality can eat shit).

Wukong is quite a [[Mary Sue]] at first glance, with a superpower suite to match (Flight, immortality, disguise-piercing super sight, a steel-hard body, transformation mastery, [[What|being able to turn strands of hair into anything up to and including ''perfect clones of himself...'']] DBZ ''wishes'' it could be that bullshit.); '''HOWEVER''', he's also very much the Only Sane Man™ on this journey and proves to be an archetypical, cunning-if-occasionally-childish trickster through and through. In contrast, Xuanzang is rather unworldly, Zhu Baije is an idiot, Sha Wujing is what effectively amounts to a non-entity, and the horse is essentially just a horse. (For more detail, see "The Monkey King's Backstory" below.)

They proceed to set off on a journey where they learn the virtues and teachings of Buddhism and encounter a lot of interesting folks and weird episodes (such as monsters who wanted Xuanzang's flesh for immortality and power) along the way, many of which you might recognize if you're a fan of Japanese or Chinese-themed fantasy works.
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====The Monkey King's Backstory====
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Because it gets referenced a lot, but isn't quite that important to discussing the rest of Journey to the West, here's The Monkey King's history:

Sun Wukong was born from a stone egg, which was contained within an ancient rock that had been created by [[PROMOTIONS|the coupling of Heaven and Earth]]; the meteor struck a mountain inhabited by wild monkeys. Despite his categorically extraterrestrial origin, he emerged from the magical egg looking much like the locals, save for being made of rock. After leading his tribe to the well-hidden source of a stream, Sun Wukong took the title of "Handsome Monkey King". From there he would proceed to travel the world and establish further influence and power, making several alliances after collecting powerful weapons and armor like your average JPRG protag. This included his trademark staff, phoenix-feather cap, gold chian-mail shirt and cloud-walking boots.

At some point, the Chinese equivalent of Hell came calling for his soul; rather than accept death and reincarnation, Wukong decided to [[Settra the Imperishable|wipe the names of him and any monkey he knew from the Book of Life and Death.]] This pissed off the gods - in particular troubling Yama (also known as Enma), the other Kings of Hell and the Dragon Kings - due to the inherent blasphemy and the sheer clerical hell that would result. When the Jade Emperor got wind of this, he figured the solution was to kick Sun Wukong upstairs to Heaven, thinking that a place amongst the gods would keep him in line. Unfortunately, he tried to pull one over on the Monkey King - Wukong was indeed admitted to heaven, but as protector of the Cloud Horses, I.E. a fucking stable boy. The Monkey King's reaction was [[RAGE|measured and reasonable]]: he sets the horses loose, fucks off back to his mountain and declares himself "The Great Sage, Heaven's Equal (齊天大聖)". Unable to arrest the sneaky bastard, Jade Emps thought to pacify him again, this time appointing him guardian of a heavenly peach garden. While a much higher position than before, it conveniently excludes him from being invited to a royal banquet for all the ''important'' gods. [[Derp|Apparently Jade Emps thought the same trick would work twice.]]

Deciding to step his rebellion game up a notch, he drinks the Jade Emperor's royal wine, along with chowing down on longevity pills and the garden's peaches - which he likely was doing anyway, since each peach on their own would grant immortality. Thoroughly stocked up on extra lives, the Monkey King then proceeded to '''''solo the entire Army of Heaven''''' - 100,000 celestial warriors, all 28 constellations, and the four Heavenly Kings - all without breaking a sweat. He even matched the strength of Erlang Shen, a pretty cool guy who is the Jade Emp's nephew, has a [[Archaon|truth-seeing 3rd eye on his forehead]] and was the best of Heaven's generals; even when Sun Wukong was captured, it was only through the combined efforts of Tao and Buddhist forces, including several of the greatest deities, and finally Guanyin, a Bodhisattva (an incredibly powerful god-like entity that guides others towards enlightenment, and the only one who could actually subdue and control him).

...and then what? They certainly couldn't execute the Monkey King for obvious reasons, and trying to distill him into an elixir for recreating the longevity pills [[FAIL|just made him '''stronger''' and gave him even more fucking superpowers]]. Enter Buddha, as in '''THE''' Buddha, who appeals to his pride by claiming that he can't escape the Buddha's palm. Sun Wukong accepted, being the smug motherfucker he is, and leaps almost effortlessly to an area with five pillars, where he leaves his mark by writing his title on them (and in some versions by ''peeing'' on them as well). Leaping back, he finds himself back in the Buddha's palm, where it turns out he'd never left - [[Just As Planned|the pillars he'd marked were Buddha's ''fingers.'']] Having one-upped the ultimate trickster, Buddha then turns his hand into a mountain and traps him under it, sealing him with a special talisman before he can lift it off (yeah, he can bench press mountains, get on his fucking level).

Then the monk Sanzang came along, prompting the Monkey King to bargain for his freedom - as it happens, Guanyin (the Bodhisattva who had helped captured him previously) is searching for disciples to act as his bodyguard, and allows him to join. Buddha ensures his compliance with an unremovable headband that he tricks Sun Wukong into wearing, which tightens painfully when the monk chants a certain sutra. (That's 2-0 for Buddha!) Guanyin decided it wasn't fair for Buddha to COMPLETELY own his shit, and gave Wukong three super-special 'emergency' hairs. He then sets off with the monk, and the rest is history.
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== Urban Legend ==
Another type of myth, except this is more of modern day taste and are more rooted in pop culture than anything else. In Japan many classic myths of Yokai continue to "exist" and have modernized to fit with new technology (for example, a cursed cart may become a cursed car). See [[Board-tans/x|creepypasta]]. Here are some examples:
*'''Slender Man''' - a fictional character that originated as an Internet meme created by Something Awful forums user Victor Surge in 2009. It is depicted as resembling a thin, unnaturally tall man with a blank and usually featureless face and wearing a black suit. The Slender Man is commonly said to stalk, abduct, or traumatize people, particularly children. The Slender Man is not tied to any particular story, but appears in many disparate works of fiction, mostly composed online.
*'''Bloody Mary''' - It is said to be a malevolent spirit who if you call its name "Bloody Mary" in front of a mirror three times, she will come and do something horrible to you. A pretty stupid game often participate by college students and idiots.
*'''Chupacabra''' - A small bear size monster who likes to suck a goat's blood dry. First spotted in Puerto Rico where it kills 8 sheeps. It is said that its influcence has spread across the latin America. Allegedly, the idea of the chupacobra was just stolen from the movie Species.
*'''Bigfoot''' - Also known as Sasquatch. It is a creature of ape and man named after its big foot print on the ground. Its sighting are mostly around Pacific Northwest.
*'''Loch Ness Monster''' - A long necked sea creature that allegedly lives in Loch Ness in the Scottish highlands.
*'''Grays''' - A stock alien appearance of short, large headed, large eyed, generally naked, grey men. Allegedly probe humans, steal cows and make patterns in vegetation while riding around in a saucer shaped spacecraft. Supposedly crashed in Rosswell, New Mexico in 1947, which was covered up by the US Government as a "weather balloon" (more recent declassification suggest it ''was'' a balloon, just an experimental and classified one meant for Cold War era spying).
**'''Area 51''' - [[Wikipedia:Area 51|An actual military base]] in Nevada that the crashed spacecraft was allegedly taken to. Allegedly home to all sorts of government experiments on the supernatural and/or extraterrestrial. Though the existance of the factual military base existing was always known, the US government didn't officially acknowledge it till 2013. Officially it's used for testing experimental and captured aircraft and thus highly classified. Supposedly, the US government thought that the UFO hysteria was good cover for the then-secret U-2 program, as any spotted aircraft could be explained away by kooks as an alien spacecraft.
**'''Men in Black / Majestic-12''' - Another component that's common to UFO conspiracies is a secret branch of the government dedicated to keeping the public in the dark about the existence of aliens. The urban legend version is significantly scarier and more malevolent than their movie counterparts.

==Popular mythology elements used in Fantasy==
*[[Dwarfs]]
*[[Elves]]
*[[Vampires]]
*[[Necromancer|Necromancy]]
*[[Troll]]s
*[[Giant]]s
*[[Minotaur]]
*[[Chaos God|Gods/Deities]]
*[[Genie]]
*[[Dragon]]
*[[Orc]]
*[[Monstergirls]]

[[Category:History]]

Dungeon Meshi

2019-04-09T23:41:35Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Fantastic Beasts and how to eat them */

{{stub}}
[[File:Dungeonmeshi_01.jpg|400px|thumb|right|Soup's on.]]
''Dungeon Meshi'' (subtitled "Delicious in Dungeon" in Engrish) is a [[Manga|Japanese mango]] about a group of [[murderhobo]]s in a typical fantasy setting. It features an atypical but innovative premise: if your party is stuck underground and is starving to death, why not eat all those monsters you've been fighting? The story explores one such party learning dungeon crawler cuisine and bumbling their way through their quests.

Dungeon Meshi is most known on /tg for being a humerous manga with a nice set of characters- each with a veriaty of humerous reaction pictures. All in all, it's pretty good, and you should read it.

Also; Elves are a proud and noble race, they are not lewd.

==Characters==
===Thorden Party===
A small group of loveable idiots, trying to get through the dungeon, rescue Farlyn, and eat a menagerie of monstrous creatures while they're at it. Despite their friendliness, Laius and Farlyn have suspicious reputations, meaning that other parties (such as Kabru's) are somewhat untrustworthy of them.
*Laius Thorden - The human [[Fighter]] of the group. He's always had a secret fascination with monstrous biology, and is the first to suggest that they try cooking monsters when they run out of money to buy food. His early curiosity slowly transforms over time into a somewhat distressing obsession. He is Farlyn's older brother.
*Marcille - The [[elf|elven]] [[Wizard]] specializing in black magic. She's the most reluctant to try eating monsters, even after several of the dishes they try turn out quite well. Laius and Senshi's obsessions disturb her. Has fat ears, isn't lewd.
*Senshi - A mysterious [[dwarf]] who joins the group after discovering their interest in monster cuisine. He's been cooking monsters for 10 years and knows all the best preparations and nutritional value of most monsters they come across. Unlike your typical [[dwarf]] stereotype, he is not good with smithing nor does he take good care of his weapon and armor: he turned his mithril family heirloom weapons into a pair of woks and carries most of the cooking equipment.
*Chilchack - The group's halfling [[Thief]]. He's mostly there to pick locks and make money. Something of an only sane man. He hates mimics; as the one to open treasure chests, he's the one who usually gets killed by them. Also gets annoyed when people treat him like a child, as he’s got a family back home.
*Farlyn - Laius' younger sister. As a child she showed a natural affinity for communicating with and banishing restless spirits. Eventually, she went to magic school, specializing in healing and purification magic and meeting Marcille. The first arc of the series chronicles their quest to rescue her from the belly of a red dragon. Turns out she still got dissolved by the dragon's stomach acid and had to be resurrected by Marcille's dark magic (which no one had expected). It ended badly with the dungeon master controlling the newly resurrected Farlyn and turned her into harpy like monster.

====Ex-Thorden Party Members====
Otherwise known as goddamn quitters.
* Shuro - A [[Samurai]]-styled male human fighter. After the Red Dragon ate Farlyn, he quit the team and left Laius behind. Until he came back with his own party.
* Namari - Female dwarf, and quite infamous amongst most dwarves; her family used to serve the local governor, but her dad stole money from him and ran off, getting them kicked out and causing the governor to blame all dwarves. Like Shuro, she abandoned Laius' party after the Red Dragon ate Farlyn and nearly killed them all.

===Gnome Party===

===Kabru Party===
An adventurer party that is currently rising in the ranks and descending deeper into the dungeon. Initially rescued by Laius' party, a misunderstanding meant that they went deeper into the dungeon and continually fail challenges above their CR. Also known as the ''Scrub Party'' because they're not as experienced as Laius' party.
*Kabru - A dark-skinned human [[Paladin]] (in temperament; otherwise, he's a [[Lawful Good]] Fighter). He fights for the weak and the innocent, and seeks to conquer the dungeon so he can purge it before it corrupts the people and the land around it. He also thinks Laius' party is secretly Neutral Evil, and is determined to expose them. Being a paladin, he aggresively condemns the [[Murderhobo]] mentality, to the point of executing any murderhobos he meets. Apparently fear monsters due to a traumatic childhood experience where his town was attacked by [[beastmen]], which instantly making him inferior to the monster-obessessed hero Laius.
*Lynnsha - Oriental wizard and Kabru's sort-off girlfriend. Often accuses Kabru of hitting on women of all races, and so comes off as mildly xenophobic because every knife-ear is another woman that could steal her man. Apparently learned her magic from some other magical school than the Academy that Farlyn and Marcille went to.
*Daya - Female Dwarf. Has a bad impression of Laius' party because Namari was a part of it, and Namari's family has a bad reputation among dwarfs.
*Holme - A gnome spellcaster who can apparently "summon" something. That something turn out to be an udine, a type of water elemental. Also, know resurrection spells (although not really good at it).
*Mickbell - Halfling [[Rogue]] and Kuro's master. Unlike other adventurers, she advocates for right-to-work laws and refuses to join the adventurer's guild despite Chilchak trying to get all the halflings to join it and pay guild fees.
*Kuro - Dog-type [[Kobold]] [[Ranger]] who provides tracking services for the Kabru party. Kobolds are often discriminated against by civilized people because of their low intelligence, which makes Kuro's presence in the party all the more unusual. Is paid in head pats, belly rubs, and food, and arguing whether or not that's a fair days wages will, without exception, ignite a flame war. He is also a good boy.

===Shuro's Party===
Originally part of the Thorden party, Shuro (real name Toshiro Nakamoto (半本俊朗, Nakamoto Toshirō)) is a samurai nobleman from "the East". Although Laius initially considered Shuro a close friend, it is revealed that Shuro could not stand Laius' inability to grasp subtlety and straightforward nature. It is also revealed that while a part of Laius' original party, he developed intense romantic feelings for Farlyn, who he had planned to propose to before the incident with the Red Dragon. After the party's dissolution following the massacre, he returned home to form a rescue party of his own, made up of servants from his household. He has openly stated his distrust of Laius and his lack of support for Laius' party's current rescue attempts; however he has agreed to keep quiet about their endeavours for Farlyn's sake until he is able to rescue her himself.

His personal party consists of:

*Hien and Benichidori - A pair of ninja who are potentially sisters; they are able to move swiftly on battlefield using throwing weapons like bombs.
*Maizuru - Her appearance is very similar to a Noh performer or Miko with winglike robes. She was tasked by the master of the household to look after Shuro when he was young. Her shrine maiden outfit suggests that she is a magic user, and she has been revealed to be able to summon various yokai-like entities to do her bidding, as well as using talisman-style sealing spells. She also serves as the party's cook, specializing in Japanese-style dishes.
*Tade - An oni armed with a Japanese style iron club. She is incredibly strong and resistant to physical damage, but is also shown to be very sweet and childlike in temperament.
*Izutsumi (Asebi) - Ostensibly a ninja assassin, Izutsumi is a beastkin — a chimera created by the combination of human and nonhuman souls inhabiting a single vessel. She abandons Shuro's party in order to join up with the Thorden party in the hopes that Marcille will be able to separate her soul from the animal soul that gives her a catlike appearance. She has a childish and passionate attitude, is a picky eater, and has been observed to have terrible table manners. She is the first person who refuses to eat part of Senshi's cooking.

Shuro and the other members of his party have temporarily left the dungeon with Kabru's party, though Shuro intends to return.

==Fantastic Beasts and how to eat them==
* Scorpion: A typical scorp. It's got claws and a tail, regular scorp stuff. When preparing, remove the legs, guts and tail, as they taste bad. Cutting into scores helps the heat travel better.
* Trotting Mushroom: Primary prey consists of overconfident eight year olds. To eat, cut off the butt and outer layers. The legs are fine to eat, though. Cutting vertically is the best way to slice them, it seems
* Slime: A Drops onto people right after they exhale, drowning them. Difficult to remove without tools. Tastes good dried.
* Man eating plants: Some strangle you, some digest you, some lay seeds in your skin. Nasty. Tends to grow well in walls with space in them, that is, areas with traps. This makes the traps even more dangerous since you'll be dealing with unreliable, broken mechanism along with paralyzing plants. Can be eaten with vinegar.
* Basilisk: A chicken with a snake tail (or a snake with a cicken tail? Forbidden knowledge~) Can be spooked by things that look bigger than it. And don't run away with your back turned, it'll kick the shit out've ya. Also have lethal venom in their bite.
* Mandrakes: Well known for making elves scream at ear shattering volumes. Their regular scream is also deadly, but it can be safely plucked by a) murdering dogs, b) having long ropes, or c) stabbing it quick enough. Replacing the dog option with a big bat is unrecommended.
* Animated armour: Are actually mollusks (forbidden knowledge) that exist between the metal armour and a thin internal shell. They try to protect their eggs like all living creatures. Cannot be trusted inside swords. Boiling or steaming the armor makes them easier to remove and eat.
* Golems: are little magic totems inside mounds of clay or other substances. Can be used to grow their own crops.
* Orcs: are sentient demi-humans so please don't eat them. They are rather violent, and are rather grumpy too.
* Treasure insects: A sign that the DM very clearly hates all of you. Bugs that take the form of valuble items, can be boiled and skewered.
* Ghosts: Spooky
* Mimics: According to Chilchack, the worst thing in the entire world. Giant crabs that choose the sneakiest places to hide, so that they may jump out and ruin the day of whoever comes near to their hiding place. You can cook it just like any other sort of crab.
* Kelpies: Horses with mermaid tails. Might act charming, but have nothing but evil in their hearts after even years of friendly encounters.
* Giant Squids: Fairly self-explanatory.
* Mermaids: Come in "tempting siren" mammalian variety and "Oh god, kill it" piscene variety. Both are dangerous.
* Squid parasites: Also have parasites in them. Which also have parasites...
* Undine: Highly dangerous water spirits that blast people with high-pressure water. Basically concentrated mana so if you manage to catch one, can be boiled alive and made into soup for convenient mana refill.
* Giant Frogs: Giant frogs with giant tongues for snatching weapons off your hands. Their skin is resistant to paralyzing effects of plants in dungeon, so chances are you'll meet these together.
* Dragons: They are dragons, what do you expect? Really hard to kill even for full, experienced parties. Eats everything that's meat, from adventurers to wolves.
* Cockatrices: Similar to basilisks but bigger, meaner and nastier. Their venom petrifies you, from which you can recover naturally... as long as none of your petrified body parts snap off.
* Dryads: Gendered plants, females look like human women, with males being basically pumpkins with human faces. Only females put up a fight and cutting one results in outburst of pollen which's ingestion causes heavy allergic reactions. Grow from fruits which are edible.
* Shapeshifters: Generally refers to all monsters that change shape, but the ones that seem to take shape of party members are actually illusions caused by mind-reading beast that creates images based on thoughts of other members of the party.
* Nightmares: Small monsters that give you nightmares and feed on your emotions if you sleep close to them, usually this happens when they hide in your pillow. Despite looking like clams, they're apparently dragons(?). After being discovered they can't really do much, so feel free to steam them alive.
* Ice Golems: These appear if a magic totem used for creation of golems ends up in water that freezes, and then gets activated with magic circle. Basically, all of this coming together would require one hell of a coincidence so you really don't have to worry about ever seeing one.
* Barometz: Sheep that grow from plants, harmless by themself but regularly preyed on by wolves and other carnivores, so it's best not to stick to places where they grow for too long. Tastes like crab.
* Griffins: You should know what griffin are.
* Hippogriffs: As seen in Harry Potter! They do resemble griffins, but have lower body that resembles a horse. They are also herbivorous, and have distinct taste.
* Changelings: Contrary to popular belief, changelings are not creatures in and of themselves, but the result of a creature stepping into a ring of magic mushrooms. Useful if you wanted to turn your griffon meat into hippogriff meat for whatever reason, or if you're feeling bored with the dumplings you have, you can just change your pot-stickers into ravioli, or your baozi into perogies. Just avoid direct contact.

==Plot==
After getting his sister devoured by a dragon and losing all their supplies in a failed dungeon raid, Laius and his party are determined to save his sister before she gets digested. Completely broke and having to resort to eating monsters as food, they meet a dwarf who will introduce them to the world of dungeon meshi - delicious cuisines made from ingredients such as the flesh of giant bats, walking mushroom, or even screaming mandrakes.

Reading on an empty stomach is not advised.

[[Category:Weeaboo]]

HMMWV Scout Section

2019-03-25T02:37:08Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28:

[[File:HMMWV.png|300px|right|thumb|Its a Hummer... ''with a gun'']]
The '''High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle''' (or more commonly, the "Humvee") is an all-terrain American light truck used by both militaries and civilians for all variety of off-roading needs. Much like the venerable [[Jeep]] that it replaced, the Humvee is famed for being able to traverse any environment with relative ease. While an excellent vehicle for scouting and rear line transportation, it is ill-suited for direct combat, possessing little in the way of armor. Being a frequent target of ambush attacks in Iraq, these trucks have been increasingly armored at the expense of mobility, though with little improvement to survivability against IEDs.

==In Team Yankee==
[[File:HMMWV Stat card.png|300px|left|thumb|the Stats]]
Worse in almost all regards compared to the M113 except for a superior off-road speed,(just like real life Hummvees) the HMMWV scout section has a very specific role: cheap recon. Virtually useless against all units but the most isolated artillery and AA missile carriers, the range of the TOW is negated by the fact that you should be deploying these at the front due to its scout and spearhead special rules.

The HMMWV Scout Section should not be expected to survive past the first round. Purchasing this unit may give you the recon you need, but keep in mind that this unit is essentially a free kill-point for your opponent in most cases.

{{clear}}

==HMMWV Machine-Gun Platoon==
[[File:TU150.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Its our humvees against T-72s, this is suicide!!]]

Apparently representing a heavy weapons platoon from the weapons company, you get 3 Humvees for 2 points or 6 for 4 points.

All your humvees may take either a Mk-19 or a 50.cal AA MG, identical to the Army variant. However, these guys have no night vision whatsoever, not even infrared. This is a confused unit: the marine riflemen are already among the best troops at anti-infantry firefights and has little need for more machine guns. Unlike the army Humvees, you don't even have a scout or spearhead. As any player with a parking lot of M113s will tell you, machine guns aren't necessary: you will probably have more than enough at any given time if you ever need it (you won't, by the way).

Compared with its counterparts, the [[FV430_Series#FV_432_Armoured_Personnel_Carrier|FV-432]] and the [[BTR-60]] provide a similar role of dirt-cheap anti-infantry fire. However these units do so FOR FREE, while you pay for the privilege of having some rednecks riding into battle on machine gun cars in a war against the latest Soviet tech: this means tanks, RPGs and BMPs, for the slower devil dogs out there.

If you do insist on bringing these units, consider giving them all Mk-19s. They may not be 'strong' in the conventional sense, but might fufil your need for a mobile anti-infantry unit. With a 24" threat bubble, a unit of these will cripple infantry in the open (much like APC machine guns, Cobra rockets, artillery...)

A player may take one platoon in a 2nd Marine Division Rifle Company list. It may not be useful in the slightest, but its still a very fluffy unit if role-playing the Invasion of Iraq.

==IRL==
[[File:Humvee IRL.jpg|300px|right|thumb|A HMMWV during a training exercise]]
What the [[Jeep]] was to the first 30 years of the Post WW2 American military, the HMMWV served the same role in the late 20th and Early 21st century. It is no longer in production for the US Military, but upgrades and modifications are expected to keep it in operation till the 2030s. In fact, many HMMWVs are older than their grunt drivers and occupants. The vehicle comes in many flavors from simple utility vehicles to fully protected light vehicles. The US military will eventually replace it with the JTLV.
The vehicle will have the [[Dakka|M230]] for taking on Cold War APCs, pre composite armor tanks, and enemies behind cover.
The first step to replace the HMMWV is to push it out of its role of patrolling urban environments by MRAP vehicles that are purpose-built for surviving direct attack and IEDs.
{{US Forces in Team Yankee}}

[[Category:Vehicles]]

AT Land Rover

2019-03-25T02:36:44Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* IRL */

[[File:TAU121-03.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Cunts, ya be serious??]]
{{topquote|The thing about crazy people: they don't know they are crazy. That's what makes them crazy!|Jim Jefferies}}

==In Team Yankee==
[[File:TAU121-13.jpg|300px|left|thumb|Crikey! Look at those stats Mate!]]

The epitome of glass cannon, the land rover invests all its value into a what is basically a tank cannon. At 1 point per vehicle in a section of 2 or 4, it is too squishy for practical use as a frontline unit. When used in defensive roles however, you might be able to pop a couple of BMPs or T55s and make your points back. It excels against infantry lists when enemy vehicles are kept away. With brutal and 2+ firepower, it delivers tank quality firepower for a dirt cheap price, with 4 shots for slightly less than the cost of a single Leopard 1.

A fun unit, but niche.

==IRL==
[[File:Gb00.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Its like a Humvee, but with even less armour and a big fuckin' cannon.]]
With the introduction of the American [[Jeep]] during WWII, the Brits decided that they needed their own version, thus creating the Land Rover series of four wheel drive off-road vehicles. Throughout the British Empire, the Land Rover became the dominant light utility vehicle for both civilians and military alike. This specific model used by Australians was nicknamed the “gunbuggy,” using the M40 Recoilless Rifle to fill the role of light anti-tank. Despite the Vietnam-era M40 being replaced by the BGM-71 TOW and other similar missile launchers in many countries, the M40 remains popular to this day as a cheaper alternative, as its HEAT ammunition was eventually upgraded to penetrate up to 700mm of armour.

The current model is called the Land Rover Defender for the Brits. While the Aussies have the Land Rover Perentie. It ever comes in a 6x6 version known as the Long Range Patrol Vehicle used by the SAS. Since they were adopted in the 80s. Supacat HMTs where bought because the special forces boys need better toys than the grunts.

{{ANZAC Forces in Team Yankee}}

[[Category:Vehicles]]

Jeep

2019-03-25T02:36:21Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* In Real Life */

The jeep is a 4 wheeled vehicle capable of transporting up to 4 men and a man-portable weapon system, from machine guns to anti-tank missiles.

==In Team Yankee==

===Jeep Recce===

===Jeep TOW===

====Israeli Variant====

====Iranian Variant====

==In Real Life==
During WWII, the United States government put out a contract for a all-terrain 4x4 reconnaissance vehicle with only a 49 day deadline to create a prototpye. These high demands ended up defining the what would become the Jeep: simple, rugged, and ubiquitous. Originally produced by Ford and Willys-Overland during its WWII production, postwar demand for the Jeep was so high that an entirely separate division dedicated to vehicle was developed. Many foreign imitators such as the [[AT Land Rover|Land Rover]] were also made. As for where the Jeep got its name, it's a reference to "Eugene the Jeep" from Popeye, a creature known to defy gravity and go anywhere; soldiers began calling the car the "Jeep" to signify that it was a car that could pop up in the most unexpected places, where the enemy thought was impassible.

The Jeep remained a mainstay until the adoption of the [[HMMWV Scout Section|HMMWV]], a vehicle that shared in the Jeep's off-roading capabilities but could also carry heavier loads and weapon systems, as well as offer marginally better protection than the open-topped Jeep. The Jeep is still highly valued on the civilian market as ''the'' off-road vehicle.
{{Israeli Forces in Team Yankee}}
{{Iranian Forces in Team Yankee}}

A4 Skyhawk

2019-03-18T23:43:59Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28:

==In Team Yankee==

==IRL==
The A4 Skyhawk was developed in the 1950s as a lightweight, carrier-based attack aircraft, the first jet-powered aircraft to replace the Korean War A1 Skyraider. It was used by the US up until after the Vietnam War, where they lost over 300 aircraft during the conflict. Israel however had become the biggest export customer for the A4, using them well until 2008 through a series of upgrades, used for both bombing runs and dogfights during the Yom Kippur War.
{{Israeli Forces in Team Yankee}}

M113 106mm Recoilless

2019-03-18T21:57:15Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* IRL */

==In Team Yankee==

==IRL==
The M40 Recoilless rifles had largely become obsolete by 1985, with guided missiles being far more effective and accurate for the role of light anti-tank weapon. However, by comparison, recoilless rifles were still very cheap, easy to operate, and could be mounted on a large enough vehicle with little trouble. In fact, they could even be locally produced, as the technology didn't require any expensive electronics or programming; they're little more than modified cannons. For this reason, many countries continued using recoilless rifles like Iran.

While the US never mounted the M40 on an M113, they did produce a dedicated six-rifled tank destroyer called the [[wikipedia:M50 Ontos|M50 Ontos]]. This vehicle however was short-lived, so most countries used what they had, like the M113.
{{Iranian Forces in Team Yankee}}

SCP Foundation

2019-03-08T04:03:03Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Other Factions */

[[Image:SCP_Foundation_emblem.png|300px|thumb|right|Secure. Contain. Protect.]]
The SCP Foundation''' is a writing site '''focusing on scientific descriptions of terrifying, confusing, or just plain weird monsters, events, [[Warp|locations]], etc. Expect plenty of [[REDACTED]] all across the website. The community prioritizes "quality" "writing" over pretty much everything else, and as such it is THE place to go if you like top-tier horror fiction writing. The fucking huge critical community within will RIP'N'TEAR bad articles to pieces. (On the flip side, if you want to read some hilariously bad writing, go to the lowest-rated articles page. You will know the true meaning of [[Derp|stupid]].) The SCP Foundation is primarily [[grimdark|GRIMDARK]], but there has been an appreciable trend toward a lighter tone in the community, if only to stave off apocalypse fatigue.

While the descriptions on the SCP Foundation website and the hinted-at setting loosely binding the different articles together are not directly related to any specific traditional games; the whole thing is a goldmine of ideas for your horror games from [[Delta Green]] to [[World of Darkness]] to [[Call of Cthulhu]] and everything in between; or even if you simply want to throw something weird at your players to deal with for a change.

==Origins==
The SCP Foundation started when the Creepypasta archive of 4chan eventually was inspected by [[/x/|a bunch of people]], who imagined a worldwide conspiracy to suppress said creepypastas. In this universe, Creepypasta Events like: "If you visit the ninth floor of a certain apartment at midnight, a spirit will assrape you and split your head open" are very much real, and the Foundation finds them and uses a black cheque to isolate them for the good of the world at large. Said fictional organization would send agents to survey existence of supernatural phenomena, contain it if possible for safety purposes (and experimentation later), or destroy if deemed too dangerous using any means necessary, up to teleporting the item to an alternate universe.

It eventually shaped into a fictional wiki, where thousands of these "SCP"s (items, phenomena, or persons) are contained, by ludicrous force if necessary. Extensive descriptions and containment procedures are the most favored parts of the writings, as well as [[Grimdark|UTTERLY FUCKING TERRIBLE REALIZATIONS]] that your world is a clusterfuck of horror which out-edges Warhammer 40K on several metrics. For example, SCP-682 is a compleyely invincible draconic creature that continuously attacks everything in existence because it enjoys things completely deadly and horrible to humans, and it can only barely be kept at bay via complete immersion in corrosive acid. There are also writings about the personnel within the Foundation, logs of fictional excursions to capture SCPs, and experiment logs to comb through as well as weapons and personnel that surpass "legit" human authorities' power by magnitudes: [[Mage: The Ascension|Extrasolar bases across the universe]] are the only a fraction of it, we are talking about bases in alternate dimensions for inventory and endless resources dug from a plain of white rock.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. One SCP is a genetic phenomena that makes the dreaming person's dreams real. That's right. Everything in reality, from World Wars to history of empires *and* new SCP's (there is a rumor that this phenomena was the start of everything) is rewritten in one night's sleep. The Foundation's obvious response is to capture, detain, drug them into complete and total amnesia, use them as disposable Keter-grade SCP destroyers and quietly kill them afterwards. Obviously this genetic trait is so intense that the organization will ''authorize the [[Exterminatus|'''genocide''']] of'' "every population that may exhibit the phenomena above average." Another is Nikolai Tesla's Reverse Entropy Tesla Gun that will DESTROY EXISTENCE in a few centuries, with NO WAY OF STOPPING IT. There's also a rock eating fish that eats California's seabed, slowly destroying one-half of United States, and the foundation failed to kill them.

And there are thousands more, and more to come.

==Classification==
Every SCP has a classification. It's basically a handy way of labeling them as to whether they have the power to totally assfuck you or not. Some of them may even have circumstantial benefits for you interacting with them, goodies like healing or granting you (usually abominable) powers. These classes are:

===Primary Class===
Typical shit. The initial labels given to any anomaly by the Foundation. Many of the SCP's still have these labels after a ''long'' time. We never said they were easy to neutralize, man.

*Safe: There is a good understanding about the object/entity, or it's easy to contain. Can still fuck people's asses if someone isn't careful with it. Think of it like a loaded gun: it's "safe" if you know what you're doing.

*Euclid: The object/entity is unpredictable and the Foundation has very little background on or understanding of it. They will totally fuck your asses, but it's an existential threat level that pales in comparison to the Keter below. Euclid entities might also be sentient, or may try to stab you in the back if you aren't careful, so they are generally locked behind many doors and walls of very thick metal.

*Keter: The good shit. OMFGYOUARESOFUCKINGDEADTHEWORLDISGONNAEND tier entity/object. They must be destroyed immediately, once the Foundation has found a way to actually do so. At the very minimum, they're <s>contained</s> actively guarded from getting any worse by walls tougher than an Imperial Class Battlecruiser, protected by a [[Imperial Guard|non-national military host armed with future weapons]] and a [[Inquisition|legion of researchers, bureaucrats, and shadowy agents]]. These things, if they ever manage to breach containment, will inevitably make the world unlivable in one of innumerable horrible ways. Lucky for us, the Foundation has ways of [[exterminatus|mitigating these risks]].

===Secondary Class===
Replacement labels for things re-classified from the Primary Class. Given to SCP's that the staff of the Foundation have a comprehensive understanding of.

*Neutralized: SCP entities/objects that are dead, destroyed, disabled, or otherwise no longer a threat. Often-times these were former Keter-class SCP's that the Foundation managed to dispose of. Their only remains are what can be gleaned from the heavily-edited documentation and records that the Foundation keeps. No one really wants to keep a doomsday device around, right?

*Explained: SCP entities/objects that are no longer considered to be abnormal, which may be due to the Foundation mistaking something for an anomaly before closer examination, or due to advances in science allowing it to be understood, or due to an anomaly becoming so widespread that it has become the new normal.

===Esoteric Classes===
The following Object Classes fall outside of the purview of standard classification.

*Thaumiel: Anomalous material or entities that can be used by the Foundation to [[Ordo Xenos|contain or counteract the effects of other highly dangerous anomalies.]] Sometimes the best thing to do is fight fire with fire. Since its introduction, it's become an unofficial primary class, and is the fourth most-used containment class on the site.

*Apollyon: First used by SCP-2317, Apollyon is often derisively referred to as "Super-Keter." This class is only used for anomalies that present an apocalyptic threat that the Foundation has no way of stopping or slowing down. For example: in one alternate timeline the sun became an Apollyon SCP when something caused the sun to start turning any living thing exposed to sunlight into blob monsters.

*Archon: One of the more popular esoteric classes, Archon denotes items that would do more damage contained than uncontained.

*Hiemal: Also growing in popularity, Hiemal-class objects are anomalous systems composed of separate anomalous parts, usually with one containing the other.

==Famous SCPs==
*SCP-055: [unknown] - The perfect anti-meme, something you can never remember. All you can do is remember what it ''isn't''. Wait - is there even a 55?
*SCP-173: The Statue (AKA the Original) - A statue that kills you if you don't look at it. Started the whole thing, and yes, Whofags, it came before the Weeping Angels.
*SCP-239: The Witch Child - Similar to 343, but more GRIMDARK because it's a little girl.
*SCP-354: [[Lizardmen|A bloody red lake that spawns many terrifying monster 24/7]]. It spawn many varity of monster that can only be seen in movies and fictions like killer robots, lizard people, elemental monsters and a frigging krakens. The foundation put up a good fight but decided to [[exterminatus|abandoned the fuck out and nuke the site]] because they can't [[Lizardmen|kept up the pace]] and fighting [[Skaven|endless]] [[Warriors of Chaos|wave]] [[Chaos Daemons|of monsters]] [[Nagash|to a stalemate]].
*SCP-343: God - The (second?) most powerful [[Psyker|reality bender]] in the world.
*SCP-682: The Hard-to-Kill Lizard - A FUCKHUEG lizard that hates everything (except SCP-053, for some reason) and cannot be killed. There is a LONG list of attempts, none of them successful.
*SCP-871: A collection of cakes that replicate themselves if eaten or damaged... which will probably destroy the world if not eaten which is why it is listed Keter. The least grimdark of the Keter bunches since it doesn't frigging murder people and the usual human punching bag like D-personnal gets to eat the cake.
*SCP-914: The Clockworks - A massive clockwork machine that has 5 settings: Rough, Coarse, 1:1, Fine, and Very Fine. Put something in the box, choose your setting, and pray the result isn't too radioactive.
*SCP-1974-EX: A d20 dice that gives players hallucination. Sadly judging by the -EX ending, meaning it isn't much of a exciting SCP meaning it is probably a fake or dud. Turns out the dice is covered in some kind of hallucination chemical. Never the less the article itself contain many references to /tg/ memes and related games, which is why it is listed here.

==Other Factions==
The SCP Foundation is not the only organization that deals with the supernatural, they have several rivals. Here is a partial list of notable factions.
* Chaos Insurgency: Originally this faction was part of the Foundation, a covert deniable ops team simply named the "Insurgency." This group operated under the fictitious pretense of being a group of rogue agents who assassinated and kidnapped on behalf of the organization, without their actions leading back to the foundation. They answered directly to the O5 Council, with little oversight from any other part of the Foundation. That changed however when they really did go rogue, releasing various euclid and keter-class SCPs. What their goal is remains a mystery, as is the reason for their defection. It's suggested that rather than contain SCPs, they want to proactively control and weaponize them. Whatever the case, they're a threat to everything the Foundation works for.
* Global Occult Coalition: The GOC is an organization funded by the United Nations that also works to protect humanity from anomalous threats. Unlike the SCP Foundation, they are far more willing to use anomalies to fight against anomalies, and instead of imprisoning anomalies to study them, they prefer to destroy any anomalies that they consider a threat. The Foundation and the GOC are allies with each other although they are very critical of each other's methods. Many of the other factions strongly dislike the GOC and see them as [[Nazi]]s due to them destroying harmless anomalies for refusing to join them. However, they also have better relationships with several other faction than the Foundation does.
* Serpent's Hand: The Serpent's Hand is a loose organization of humans and other beings that fights for the rights of intelligent anomalies. Their base of operations is a magical library between universes. They especially hate the GOC and call them bookburners. Although they do not like the Foundation and often work to rescue imprisoned anomalies from the Foundation, they occasionally work with the Foundation against bigger threats.
* Church of the Broken God: Basically the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] mixed with Gnosticism and a little bit of Chinese mythology. The CotBG is a religion of machine worshipers that wants to find and reassemble the lost fragments of the god of machines. Although they aren't all evil and sometimes work with other factions, if they were to succeed in their goals it probably would cause the apocalypse.
* Sarkic Cults: Sarkic Cults are the opposite of the CotBG. Basically a horrible mixture of [[Nurgle]] and [[Slaanesh]] worshipers. They want to achieve godhood by using [[Fleshcrafting]] sorcery and devouring the gods. Most Sarkites are horrifically depraved monsters who should be killed with fire.
* The Fifth Church: Scientologists in all but name. They worship stars and have an obsession with the number 5. Most of the other factions consider them to be a joke, although they once nearly destroyed reality by selling a book that gave readers reality warping powers at the cost of causing insanity. It has been theorized that the whole religion is actually is an interplanetary scam started by aliens.
* Doctor Wondertainment: Seem to be a company that produces supernatural toys for children, which usually are very dangerous if they are not used properly. They often send their products to the Foundation as gifts. For some reason they also created a line of anomalous humanoids called the Little Misters that they challenge the Foundation to collect.
* Are We Cool Yet?: A organization of artists/terrorists with a weird sense of humor that produces usually dangerous pieces of anomalous artwork for laughs or for making political statements. Things like paintings that drive people that look at them insane.
* Marshal, Carter, and Darke Ltd.: A club that collects anomalies to sell to the rich.
* Manna Charitable Foundation: An organization that tries to exploit anomalies for humanitarian purposes, often with disastrous results.

== Drama ==
When you get a group of people to do something together, drama is inevitable. The SCP community has a number of big-names calling the shots, and what they say goes. They set the tone for what's allowed and what's not, and if you piss off the wrong person for a trivial thing or hurt someone's massive over-inflated ego, you can expect your stay on the website to be short. They are no stranger to massive internal strife either; fights between the big boys resulted in a lot of content being discarded at one point. It kind of mirrors [[TVTropes]]: the front end has a lot of nice reading but the community side is a dumpster fire of misery, egos and dicks. We do not prefer to give examples, but utterly retarded articles written by a newcomer cute girl may stay a lot while longer than they should (and any criticism thereof will result in a ban until someone with clout does something).

Early forms of alleged [[SJW]]ism have also started to surface, with articles spotting unusual genders without them being played for horror, or commented upon at all for that matter. Given a lot of SCPs are frequently not of this Earth/dimension/etc., there might be SOME reasoning for it, who knows.

Furthermore, as the community around the SCP Wiki has evolved over time, the tone of the works has shifted. In the first few years of the wiki, there was more of an inclusion of levity and humor, especially in regards to test logs and the antics of senior staffers. Over time the wiki has included less and less of this, as the community broadened and namefags or otherwise notable contributors left, taking their influences and in-universe characters with them. Circa 2018, the wiki is redoubling its efforts to be purely clinical horror, with fewer jokes (for better or worse).

(That being said, there's still room for somewhat "silly" SCPs, you just have to make them the product of an appropriate silly person or group, and make sure to (A) write it up clinically and (B) have something interesting besides the joke. See, for reference, the products of the group "Gamers Against Weed".)

==See also==

* [[Delta Green]] - The closest thing to a SCP game made.

[[Category:Not related]]

Weeaboo

2019-03-03T21:09:10Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* What DOES make you a Weeaboo */

{{topquote|Ohio /tg/-kun, you are looking kawaii today uguu~ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧. Shall we play [[pretend]] on the futon after we eat our bento boxes desu? (>^3^)> Don't be Tsundere, you baka! It'll be sugoi!|Sample text of a typical weeaboo}}
'''Weeaboo''', commonly shortened to '''"weeb"''' in most conversations, is a noun/adjective commonly used as a perjorative for people whose main interests revolve around [[anime]] and/or [[manga]], in such a way that they are insufferable to everyone around them. The term has some controversy around it, as nobody can agree on where the threshold is for what counts as a weeaboo. However, it is still a commonly used term due to the prevalence of anime-related content on the internet and in media, including many domains that /tg/ is interested in.

In a nutshell, a weeb is the anime-obsessed equivalent of [[That Guy]].

==Overview==
[[Image:PBF071-Weeaboo.gif|thumb|right|The original PBF comic.]][[Image:We're all weeaboo.jpg|thumb|right|Welcome to 4chan!]]
The name Weeaboo is derived from a ''Perry Bible Fellowship'' comic, reaching internet stardom after the term was used as a wordfilter for "wapanese" on [[/b/]]. Although used in the comic as a nonsense word, it has since become synonymous with "wapanese" (itself short for "wannabe Japanese") until it supplanted the original term altogether. The term typically refers to people who believe that Japanese stuff is better simply because it is Japanese, with implications of harboring an unhealthy obsession with the culture and media of Japan (such as [[anime]]) while simultaneously managing to know very little about it. The term has spun off to describe other types of obsessions, such as Teaboo (girls obsessed with stereotypical Proper British culture, specifically the new Sherlock show and [[Doctor Who|The Eleventh Doctor]]), Koreaboos (girls obsessed with K-Pop boy bands; considering the West hasn't really had actual boy bands since the 90s, it's not hard to see why) and Wolfaboo (kids obsessed with wolves, may or may not overlap with [[furry|furries]]).

They are also known to hate all other <s>Asian</s> cultures and think that Japan is the "Best <s>Asia</s> Country Ever!", despite not knowing that just seventy years ago (and before!), the Japanese and Japan itself was one of the most [[Imperium of Man|conservative, imperialistic, xenophobic, theocratic, fascist nations in the world]], hated or despised by almost everybody else, with the majority of the vote stemming from [[China]] and [[Asians|Korea]] (just open a history book you lazies). Modern Japan was given a rise in popularity due to American propaganda, as THE Capitalist Ally in the East, and the new Japanese generation, after being nuked to submission, putting on a new liberal democratic theme presenting themselves as sexually-liberal free-market libertarians with almost no similarity to their past conservative-fascist ancestors, to the point that they became the opposite. While conservative-Imperial Japan boasted a high population rise, modern anime Japan is almost sterile to the point of extinction. This isn't surprising, given their [[hive|issues with having space for everyone]] (fortunately, not as bad as it could be... yet). It helps that conservative-Imperial [[Japan]] arranged-married pretty much everyone. It was much quicker to get people making babies that way.

Aside from the association with a real-world nationality and culture, everything wrong with weeaboos (obsession to the point of breaking with reality, among other things) could just as easily be applied to [[bronies]], [[furries]], or [[That Guy|any fandom, really]]. Weeaboos simply get a lot of attention because it gets applied to a whole ''medium'' where many of the same tropes and stereotypes will cross-pollinate over many different franchises, thus making weebs very numerous and visible. Nobody really knows why weebs behave the way they do; some people blame anime itself, but more likely these people are just sad and lonely individuals who were badly socialized growing up, and likely didn't have enough sane friends to tell them when they were acting obnoxious and/or creepy.

==The Japanese side of the Coin==
In Japan, the Japanese have a similar concept they call the "Otaku"; there, an Otaku is basically a shut-in super-nerd who never leaves their room and obsesses over a typically nerdy hobby, usually anime/manga, and often leads to hoarding useless crap in their tiny apartment (in other words, a Japanese [[Neckbeard]]).

Weeaboos appropriated the term to simply mean "anyone who watches anime / reads manga", so be wary about applying the term across cultural boundaries. One key difference between otaku and weebs though is that otaku understand Japanese culture, and more importantly, social etiquette. With weebs, their only idea of Japanese society comes from anime/manga so they make the critical mistake of assuming that they're accurate depictions of Japanese social interactions, instead of being pure escapism.

People in real-life Japan emphasize being reserved and polite, with many, ''many'' unwritten rules of social interaction; this is very unlike the extroverted and loud characters you frequently see in anime. Visiting weebs who don't realize this quick may find themselves committing multiple social faux-pas without even realizing it.

Fun fact: Japanese people see no real distinction between eastern and western animation. If you ask someone what their favorite anime is, they're as likely to reply "Spongebob Squarepants" as "Naruto." Weeaboos, on the other hand, are extremely adamant that there is a massive fucking difference between Japanese anime and all other forms of animation, and that any non-Japanese animation that mimics anime isn't true anime (one such example is [[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]. Looks like anime, but made in America). It gets especially funny when you realize that reverse weeaboos exist; if you want some grade-A entertainment, go watch some Japanese people argue over dubs vs. subs on King of the Hill.

==On /tg/==
Because [[Moot]] originally intended for 4chan to revolve around the [[/a/]] board as a clone of Japan's 2channel imageboard, it's unsurprising that many 4chan users are heavily into anime. [[approved anime|Fa/tg/uys are no exception]], though many people will argue that it takes more than a love of anime to be a weeaboo. The key factor is the ''obsession'' and ''obnoxiousness'' that comes with being a weeaboo, which is what draws people's ire in the first place.

/tg/ has a tendency to use the word in a derogatory manner to describe anything <s>vaguely Asian in origin or inspiration</s> one does not like. This often incites the ire of fa/tg/uys who insist on the more precise definition of the term, resulting in [[rage]] all round.

Of course, the fact that /tg/ tends to name any female [[Original character, do not steal|original character]] [something]-chan <s>ironically</s> <s>unironically</s> who even knows anymore, and so many of the [[drawfags]] tend to have animesque art styles, means that fa/tg/uys are the most weeaboo people on the-- {{BLAM}}

In a weird way, one might say that weeaboo has made a full circle, and has returned to its origins--being of a word that means absolutely nothing, keeps getting repeated again and again, and leads to actions that are a complete waste of time.

'''tl;dr:''' [[DOOM: Repercussions of Evil|no fa/tg/uys, you are the weeaboos.]]

[[file:Weeaboo Heaven.gif|thumb|left|When a weeaboo enters /tg/]]

==What doesn't make you Weeaboo==
*A general interest in Japanese culture and history (this can knock a few points off the weeaboo counter if it goes for non surface level things that are the first things that people tend to absorb through pop culture, such as an interest in the social, economic, technological and cultural changes of the Edo period vs what kind of swords the samurai had).
*Watching anime and reading manga
*Eating Japanese cuisine
*Wanting to visit Japan
*Learning Japanese
*Liking cute shit
*Having a favorite character, specifically a "waifu" (though this can toe the line or worse depending on circumstances)
*Owning ''"normal"'' memorabilia of your favorite show (such as a T-shirt or poster or some action figures of robots)
*Calling yourself a Weeb ironically or purposely using it in the wrong context.

==What DOES make you a Weeaboo==
[[File:WeeabooDreamsShattered.png|thumb|250px|right|Weeaboo discovers the horrifying truth]]
'''Note''': This is a non-comprehensive list that includes all items that definitively make you a weeaboo; because the line between weeaboo and non-weeaboo is blurry, the traits shown here tend to be on the [[That Guy|more extreme side]]. Someone who has traits that aren't quite as bad as the ones listed may still get called a weeaboo, but that's a [[skub|matter of debate]].

*Considering anime / manga as a superior art form just because it's from Japan
*Automatically thinking Japan and everything about it is superior to other countries for no conceivable reason, other than the fact that it's Japan.
*Complain that any Western work of fiction is ripping off anime using very weak evidence
*Getting [[rage|angry]] when someone doesn't watch your favorite show
*Refusing to acknowledge flaws in Japanese stories or merits in Western stories because of their origin
:* The exception to this is getting into intense arguments about which anime is better, which can still enter weeb territory
*[[Inquisition|Judging people's character based on people's taste in shows]], or rather the 95% of such that amounts to calling people who don't share your taste fake anime fans
*Accusing people who are watching a show you don't like of destroying anime
*Vilifying dubs as a matter of principle, regardless of actual dub quality.
:*For extra stupid: complaining about "dubs" and asking for the "original Japanese sub" for shows that were ''[[derp|made in English]]''.
:*Next level stupid: Only watching western shows in Japanese dubs with English subtitles.
*Eating Japanese cuisine ''exclusively''.
:*Bonus points: thinking the Japanese eat nothing but traditional Japanese food, despite the fact they've been taking a liking to western food for centuries (Tempura was brought to Japan by the Portugese in the 16th century).
:*Getting angry at people who eat Asian Fusion instead of "real" Japanese food
:*Alternatively: Only eating Panda Express / Asian Fusion because you have no idea what Japanese food is besides sushi and ramen
*Wanting to visit Japan [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWiI6JVX5PE and then getting disappointed that it's not like anime]
*Expecting all Asian people to have watched anime and be as big a weeaboo as you
*Learning Japanese poorly by watching anime, then slipping in the handful of words you know into everyday conversation constantly, whether your peers understand you or not (see above sample text)
*Shouting "Kimochi!" in public. The literal translation means feeling good, however the connotations are closer to "I'm cumming!", which is not something you use in a casual conversation. Bonus points for saying it in front of someone fluent in Japanese, who will either look at you funny and/or call the police out of [[Dark Eldar|fear of sexual harassment.]]
*Referring to everyone you know as -chan or -kun or -senpai at all times, despite you not being in Japan. (bonus points for using honorifics incorrectly or using them when describing yourself)
*Endlessly quoting shit from anime, whether it's appropriate or not
*"Glomping" (leaping at and aggressively hugging) people who at best only think of you as an acquaintance. This can be especially bad if you're significantly heavier than the intended target.
*Watching excessive amounts of [[/d/|hentai]] (look, we get it, for most people porn is porn. But there's a point where watching 30 cartoons a day about [[dickgirl]]s getting their [[anal circumference|asses rammed]] becomes a [[heresy|problem)]]
*Liking [[Lolicon]] or Shotacon (of course, maybe you're just a pedophile and don't give a shit about Japan)
*An obsession with Yaoi or Bishies, particularly stories with [[rape]] (most often applies to female weebs. The Japanese actually have a term for this: Fujoshi, which literally means "rotten girl.")
:*Taking your obsession into the real world by "shipping" real life dudes, whether they're gay or not.
:*Blackmailing creators into [http://www.newnownext.com/voltron-legendary-defender-blackmail-studio-mir-klance/05/2017/ making your gay fanfiction canon].
:*On rare occasion a Fujoshi may join your gaming group and become the female equivalent of [[That Guy]], usually by rolling up a flamboyantly gay character who sexually harasses the other male characters to an uncomfortable degree.
*Unironically rejecting all real-life women for cartoon women (aka "3D Pig-Disgusting")
:*Getting into arguments over how your [[waifu]] is superior and all other waifus are shit
:*Getting into arguments with artists over misrepresenting your waifu
:*Getting into arguments over whether or not having more than one waifu counts as infidelity
:*Getting angry at people drawing/fapping to porn of your waifu
*Running with your arms behind your back. [[Stormfang|No, it's not more aerodynamic]]. [[Orks|No, it doesn't make you faster]]. [[Derp|It just makes you look like a tool.]]
*Most of your wardrobe and possessions are related to anime in some way, such as [[Games Workshop|mountains of useless and expensive figurines]] (and before you say it, at least you can do something with [[Warhammer]] figurines besides look at them)
:*Owning expensive statuettes of your waifu
:*Owning expensive statuettes of your waifu that you legally can't show to minors
*Wearing cosplay outfits in public outside of conventions
:*Getting angry when a cosplayer isn't in character 100% of the time, or else is "doing it wrong"
:*Wearing cosplay when you are too fat to resemble the characters body type. Nobody wants to see a lardass in revealing clothes.
*''Unironically'' owning a [[wikipedia:Dakimakura|dakimakura]], because we all know what that's about.
**Going on dates with your dakimakura without a hint of irony
**Going on dates with your dakimakura in public that isn't part of a joke
*[[Katanas are Underpowered in d20|Believing Katanas are the best weapon ever and can cut through ANYTHING]] (and in the event that if they could do so if made from a hypothetical bullshitium alloy, that any other type of sword would not be able to do the same if made from the same metal)
*Going to the Holocaust Museum and taking a photo doing the Nazi salute because of Hetalia ([http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmwdem2a6P1qf7xf0.jpg yes, that actually happened])
*Shoving Hetalia characters into geography or talks about it during a class of international relations and expecting people to get your reference
*Attacking movies as [[SJW]] than sabotaging review scores in favor of a live action adaption of a manga or anime.
*Believing that watching anime/reading manga exempts you from being considered a [[/pol/|white supremacist.]]

===Things that don't necessarily make you a Weeaboo, but are commonly associated traits===
*[[Mortarion|Bad Hygiene]]
:*Body Odor
:*Bad Breath
:*[[Neckbeard|Ungroomed facial hair]]
:*Greasy hair or skin
*Overweight
*Ill-fitting / dirty clothes
*Basement dweller
*Extreme social awkwardness
*[[/tg/|Frequent tantrums]]
*No verbal filters or social boundaries
*No volume control
*Elitist attitudes
*Getting anal-retentive about adaptations and rejecting those by default in favor of the original material. This is sadly absolutely not limited to [[/a/|this hive of scum and villainy]]; a Tolkienfag raging that the movies are poor adaptations of the books is just as obnoxious as a weeb raging about anime butchering the original manga.
**This said, some adaptations are absolutely terrible and should never have sen the light of day to begin with.
*Constantly tell inside jokes that aren't even that funny to begin with
*Wanting to exclusively date Asians (assuming you're not Asian yourself)
*[[Matt Ward|Terrible fanfiction]]/[[original character, do not steal|unoriginal character]]s with [[Tau|strong anime themes]]
*Inability to relate to people or serious discussions without constant references to fiction
*Delusional behavior (e.g. being unable to separate reality from their favorite work of fiction)
*[[Slaanesh|Violating people's personal space]] or [[Blood Ravens|personal property]]
*[[Khorne|Reacting violently to shit that doesn't actually matter]]
*Stalking behavior
*Outright sexual harassment in the most extreme cases

==See Also==
*[[Anime]] & [[Manga]]
*[[Battle for Dominus Pillowus]]
*[[BESM]]
*[[Katanas are Underpowered in d20]]
*[[Maid RPG]]
*[[Mary Sue]]
*[[The Book of Weeaboo Fightan Magic]]
*[[Tau]]
*[[Ribbon]]
*[[Rising Sons]]
*[[Tanto Cuore]]
*[[Waifu]]

==Links==
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBfWKmRFTjM| A compilation of weeaboos found in the wild.]
*[http://gunshowcomic.com/ac/part1/ The Gunshow] shows us the social dynamics of a typical anime club.
*[https://i.redd.it/j8z2wup79gm01.jpg Let's see...] Annoying broken Japanese? Check. Fetishizing Asian dudes? Check. Implying he's gay with his best friend? WE'VE HIT THE TRIFECTA FOLKS!
You think we were kidding about the war crimes? [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nanking_Massacre]]. [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_war_crimes#Crimes]]. [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_731]]
[[category:Weeaboo]]
[[Category:RAGE]]

Shotgun

2019-02-24T18:18:18Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Choke */

{{stub}}
{{topquote|Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...|Terry Pratchett}}
A '''shotgun''' is a large caliber smoothbore [[firearm]] which is designed to fire a cluster of small projectiles (once commonly lead pellets but for environmental reasons steel is more common, either way they're known as shot) in one shot, though most shotguns can also accept solid slugs. The cluster of bullets spread out to cover a wide area after exiting, taking some of the burden off of aiming and causing considerable damage to an unprotected body. It comes at the expense of hitting power and precision at long range due to the sheer spread. The earliest shotguns were large caliber muskets known as blunderbusses. Today shotguns remain widely used by police, hunters and sport shooters and see some use as a secondary weapon by soldiers. Modern-day shotguns are extremely reliable, fairly accurate (for what they are) and relative simple to produce and operate, while being devastating in close combat. The "gauge" used to measure the size of the shot used in a shell. 12 gauge means that it takes 12 lead balls of the diameter of a 12-gauge shotgun to equal one pound in weight. So 16, 20 and 28-gauge take 16, 20 and 28 lead balls of the diameter of a matching shotgun to equal one pound. This means that the higher the gauge, the smaller the shot is. 12-gauge is the most commonly used in combat, with the smaller gauges being used when hunting small prey. [[Dakka|when in doubt, carry two. If you still have doubts, attach two to your fists and two to your boots, then carry two in your hands again.]]

==Notable shotguns==
[[image:SPAS 12.JPG|thumb|300px|right|A pair of SPAS-12 Shotguns. The lower has a fixed stock and a shorter magazine tube, while the upper has its signature folding stock unfolded.]]
*'''Double Barrel:''' One of the most common shotguns available, the double-barrel is a very basic, no-frills firearm that, instead of having any sort of magazine or ammunition tube, simply has two barrels with one shot each. The vast majority of these are breech-loaded/break-action, where the gun's barrels and stock are attached by a hinge; they lock closed when it's time to fire and can be unlocked to reload. This hinge and the trigger mechanism itself are the only moving parts, making the gun very easy to maintain. This simplicity and the generally low price tag makes it popular with farmers and hunters. The double-barrel is typically used for hunting and can come in side-by-side or over-and-under configurations, the latter being popular in sports shooting. Rare triple-barrel shotguns exist, but at this point you're getting a heavy hunk of metal. Double-barreled shotguns can have a part of the barrels shortened (hence the colloquial term "sawed-off shotgun") to create a nice personal defense weapon, though this modification is oftentimes illegal. Note that sawing off the shotgun's choke also drops the gun's accuracy down from "respectable grouping up to 40 meters" to "abysmal 45-degree spread more at home in a video game". Low market demand, doubling the most expensive part, and the difficulty of aligning the two barrels means these are now actually ''more'' expensive than pump shotguns are.
*'''Winchester 1887:''' The shotgun made famous by Terminator 2, this is a 10-gauge lever-action shotgun, giving it a strong Old West vibe to it. Firing it one handed is not recommended unless you really are [[Deathmark|a terrifying robot assassin]]. A trick associated with this weapon is spinning it around to chamber a new shell, but unless you have an extra-wide lever that is at least as wide as two fingers you're only going to break your fingers trying to do this. Not to mention that this is very dangerous.
*'''Winchester M97''': an oldie but one hell of a goodie, as the Germans in WWI could have attested if they'd survived. Nicknamed the 'trench sweeper', because it did exactly that: clear a trench of assailants/defenders nice and fast as you please so hard the German High Command actually officially protested its use. Production stopped back in the fifties, but the M97 is still in regular use a half century later.
*'''Remington 870:''' Was pretty much ''the'' pump-action shotgun. Used by everyone from hunters and sports shooters to police and elite special forces units. Tough, durable and simple to use; there's a good reason the Remington is as popular as it is. Because of this there are oodles of aftermarket parts available so that you can make your shotgun as tacticool as you want. Unfortunately Remington was bought by Cerberus in 2007, and they proceeded to gut quality so bad guns literally shipped from the factory with rust on them. If you really want one now you have to get it used (one that does not say "New York" on the barrel) or a Chinese clone.
**'''KAC Masterkey:''' Developed by Knight's Armament Company, the Masterkey is an underbarrel attachment for the M16/M4 assault rifle. It is essentially the business end of a Remington 870 shotgun intended for breaching doors that can be slapped to the underside of a rifle so that soldiers do not need to carry around an entire separate weapon. To fire it the user has to shift their hands so that they hold the shotgun as normal, using the magazine of their rifle as a makeshift stock. Because of its lack of grip or stock firing a Masterkey as a stand-alone weapon is [[fail|a very bad idea]]. For that reason, and the ease of reloading, the M26 MASS was chosen over the Masterkey.
*'''Mossberg 500:''' The Pepsi to the Remington's Coke. The two are very similar and arguments between fans of the two were sources of major [[skub]] amongst firearm enthusiasts. In practice they are pretty much the same, with the Mossberg being lighter and cheaper than the Remington, but it does not come in as many different variants. With Remington's destruction and Mossberg improving variety of offerings, it has become the definitive American made shotgun.
**'''Mossberg 590''' An improved but slightly more expensive version of the 500. Uses a different style of tube which holds an extra shell in the same space and comes in more tacticool variants. The 590A1 is a variant of that with a thicker barrel (useless unless you're closing bulkhead doors on it) and more metal parts.
**'''Maverick 88''' A cheap variant that's only "assembled" in the US with some or all parts made in Mexico. Feels cheap and less features.
**'''Mossberg 900''' A semi-automatic shotgun by Mossberg.
*'''Benelli M4:''' Made by the Italian Benelli corporation, the M4 is famous for its wedge-shaped stock and [[video games|being the spray-and-pray stick in Counter-Strike]]. While used by civilians it is more commonly used by special forces units and police.
*'''Saiga 12:''' A Russian-made shotgun derived from the popular AK layout. It is a semi-automatic shotgun loaded via a detachable box magazine unlike the two above. Used by Russian security forces it is also popular amongst hunters because the required licence is far easier to obtain than that for a rifle. Factory-made box magazines go up to 8 and the aftermarket makes magazines for 12, 20 and even 30 shells, but the latter is very heavy, expensive and bulky.
*'''USAS-12:''' Built by a subsidiary of the Korean Daewoo (the car manufacturer) based on the AA-12, the USAS-12 is an automatic combat shotgun exclusively used by militaries. A semiautomatic version was put on the American market in the early 90's, but it was declared as to "having no sporting purpose" and was branded a "destructive device", immensely limiting its potential buyers. It has a nice 400+rpm rate of fire, allowing it to empty a 20-round drum in 3 seconds or less.
*'''AA-12:''' The Atchisson Assault Shotgun is a fully automatic shotgun most famous for its low recoil: through some clever engineering the user gets only 10% of the recoil they'd normally feel from a 12-gauge shell. This makes the AA-12 highly controllable even with its 300rpm rate of fire. It has also been associated with the FRAG-12 round, a miniature grenade the size of a 12-gauge shell. While the FRAG-12 fits in any 12-gauge shotgun, there is something [[awesome|alluring]] about being able to hold your shotgun on target while shooting 20 grenades at it in 4 seconds flat.
*'''SPAS-12:''' A shotgun with a capital SHOTGUN. It is a big honkin' piece of metal capable of double-action: it is both a gas-operated semi-automatic and a pump-action shotgun at the same time. This allows it to both act as a semi-automatic weapon with lethal shells and a pump-action weapon capable of firing bean bags, tear gas and other less-lethal shells that do not generate enough pressure to cycle the action. This is also how they are used in movies because blanks are too light as well. Movies and games almost always show the shotgun with its bulky folding stock folded in on top of the weapon. While no longer in production the SPAS-12 retains its reputation as a big, menacing son of a shotgun and fetches quite a bit on the second-hand market, even with its failure-prone safety.
*'''Punt Gun:''' What if you wanted to shoot an entire "flock" of birds with a single shot? You could use a punt gun! (Or, you could, back in the day, but you probably wouldn't do it now because it's really, really illegal). Punt guns are shotguns the size of a small boat, and usually mounted to one, hence their name since a punt is a small flat-bottom boat. Usually custom made beasts, they would shoot shells equivalent to a 1 or 2 gauge. Double barreled punt guns were also known to exist, being roughly equivalent to two 8 gauges. They are used for hunting, and only hunting on a commercial scale, because they're too stupidly large to use for combat.

==Ammunition Types==
*'''Buckshot''': The most commonly associated ammunition used in shotguns. Buckshot is a shell filled with lead balls that fire out from the barrel in a cone; how tight that cone is depends on whether the shotgun has a choke. Buckshot, as the name implies, is lethal to deer, but works just as well on humans. 12 gauge 00 (pronounced double aught) is the most common type, consisting of 9 lead balls .36"(9.1mm) in diameter.
*'''Birdshot''': Like buckshot, but the balls are much smaller, and as a result there's less empty space in between each ball when fired. This makes it well suited for shooting birds out of the sky. While each ball individually won't do quite as much damage, you'll definitely give someone a bad day if you hit them with it. Note for writing: birdshot is a terrible choice for use against humans or any substantially sized animal, so unless your characters have a reason for using it specifically (desperation etc) having a character use birdshot for fighting will result in /k/ laughing at you. Dick Cheney shot an old man with some at point blank range, hitting the throat, and the guy is still alive.
*'''Slug''': A solid piece of lead; this allows shotguns to be used more like a rifle in that you're aiming at a single point in space, though slug shotguns aren't quite as accurate as rifles. They are, however, much bulkier than rifle rounds, making them better suited to hunt large game.
*'''Flechette''': Instead of balls, you fill a shell with long metal needles. Supposed to be more aerodynamic than buckshot, but in practice they can be deflected by things like raindrops and have less stopping power. Also tear up barrels.
*'''Dragon's Breath''': What do you get when you fill a shell with metal shards and flammable liquid? A giant fireball coming out of a shotgun barrel, that's what! You'd also get a barrel full of afterburner shit, so make sure you don't fire this thing more than twice before you clean the gun, unless you like your gun exploding in your hands (hence why it's almost universally used with cheap throwaway double-barrels).
*'''Frag-12''': Mini-explosives crammed into a shotgun shell. Incredibly dangerous.
*'''Flexible Baton Rounds''': These are the less-lethal rounds typically used by police. It hurts like hell to get hit by one, but at least you don't start bleeding out. Typically contained in a bag (hence the nickname of "beanbag" rounds) so spread in minimal. Rubber slugs are occasionally used as an alternative. Shotguns mean to fire these are typically used only for them and marked in bright colors so nobody loads lethal rounds into them. Can still be lethal, especially on the elderly.
*'''Frangible Round''': Made from metal powder and wax, these rounds are made to shatter on impact, making them safe to use in close quarters or for breaking door hinges and locks, hence their alternate name of Breaching Rounds.<br>

*It's actually quite easy to make custom ammunition for shotguns by cramming whatever the fuck can fit into a barrel into a standard slug shot maybe with some tightening. Most weapon shops even sell custom shotgun ammo kits. Sure, custom slugs more often than not have terrible accuracy, but it's invaluable in urban fantasy/mystic/horror settings where you can shoot whatever the fuck that eldritch abomination you're fighting against is vulnerable to - like wooden slugs for staking vampires from the (relatively) safe distance or saltshot against ghosts or demons. Hell, making silver shotgun slugs against werewolves is a much safer option than silver bullets for rifles or pistols if you're not a proficient smith, as poorly made slug is much less likely to jam your gun than poorly made bullet. Ask /k/ for examples of crazy shotgun loads, up to and including live .22 LR being fired out of a 12 gauge. There are even several old timer tricks for making shot into slugs as 100 years ago the slug game was limited to single, bore wide, ball projectiles. Cut shells are simply bird or buck shot that has had it's case cut a bit to weaken the point below the wadding. Not enough to separate while loading into the chamber (NEVER PUT THESE INTO A MAG OR A TUBE) but the case will separate during firing, launching the contained shot as a single mass held together by the remaining case. Another old trick is to cut the crimp off, pour out the shot into molten wax, and then loaded back with the wax acting as a binder.

==Choke==
Since shot is multiple projectiles, how and where it impacts can be changed by altering how tight the end of the barrel is. Double barreled shotguns often have different chokes in each barrel while pump action and semi-auto shotguns have either have detachable chokes or a fixed improved cylinder choke.
*Cylinder: Effectively no choke. Rare on modern shotguns unless the gun takes detachable chokes.
*Improved Cylinder: A slightly narrow choke and concentrates shot a good deal. Generally considered the standard in law enforcement and home defense. If a modern shotgun does not have detachable chokes, it most likely uses an improved cylinder choke.
*Duckbill: used only on combat shotguns, a duckbill choke focuses the spread of shot onto a horizontal plane, in theory allowing it to more effectively clear rooms and trenches by hitting multiple targets at once. Unfortunately, the spread can be a bit too erratic or spread too quickly to use effective.
*Full Choke: A very tight choke that results in a very tight shot pattern. '''Do not shoot slugs through this''', it's too tight for them to clear the barrel.
*Rifled Choke: Also known as "paradox" rifling this was one of the many gun related inventions of George Fosbery. Essentially a bit of rifling at the end of a shotgun that gives slugs greater stability in flight. You can shoot shot through this ''safely'', it won't hurt the gun or anyone on your end of the muzzle, though not very effectively: The pattern will be very erratic, a doughnut shape at best, instead of centered.

==The Short-Range Shotgun Fallacy==
It's a common belief amongst people that shotguns are strictly short-ranged weapons, that their particular ammunition makes them all but useless at a distance. As the title of this segment suggests, such a belief is pretty much wrong. Here's why. The primary reason this idea exists is because of vidya; because shotguns are preferred for tight confines and urban fighting, most early shooters (other than, ironically, [[Doom]]) made shotguns do more damage the closer that you were to the target for balance, and the idea was absorbed into popular culture. The whole shotgun fallacy is similar to the flamethrower fallacy in which both weapons are actually much more accurate and longer ranged in real life rather than being only effective at less than ten feet like most video games.

The entire "shotguns are only good at short range" idea is based on the notion that when a shotgun fires, the pellets it expels will spread further and further apart as they travel, until they are so scattered they're incapable of dealing any real damage to whoever they hit. It's not entirely without basis, and in fact this was a well-known issue with the blunderbuss, but it's mostly false when it comes to shotguns.

See, unlike blunderbusses, shotguns have small, narrow barrels, rather than the tapering wide-bore muzzle of their predecessor. Thusly, whilst a shotgun shell's contents do have a scattering effect that means it's impossible to get the same pinpoint precision accuracy you would have with, say, a sniper rifle, they don't scatter anywhere near so far as a blunderbuss's shot would, even when using a wide-bore. In fact, this scattering effect is ''precisely why'' shotguns are considered the best guns for hunting with; the spread of pellets is much more likely to connect with a fast-moving target, and this is especially important when hunting birds or small game.
Further more, some shotguns can also fit a device called a choke. A choke is threaded onto the end of a barrel, the choke has a slightly smaller internal diameter than the barrel. This forces the shot to stay tighter together, farther down range. This is how turkey hunters can kill with neck shots without damaging meat at 40 or so yards. Some shotguns ,typically called slug guns, do have rifled barrels. While terrible for shot (the imparted spin spreads the shot dramatically, like video game levels of spread), it shines with solid metal projectiles. Special slugs designed with rifling in mind, provide significant range increases. Practiced shooters can make 150 yard shots rather easily. There are even chokes with partial rifling to allow smoothbore guns threaded for chokes, to shoot some specialized rifled slugs.

This said: compared to the multiple hundreds of meters effective range of rifle caliber bullets the shot gun "''is''" a short ranged weapon. What they don't tell you however is that most fire fights are short ranged anyway, which is the main reason why after world war two army's stopped using what we would call "Battle rifles" and swapped to smaller caliber assault rifles (trading in range for a higher rate of fire). For most situations a shotgun is as good as a rifle if not a little better since it's actually easier to hit your target with a shotty. The main disadvantage is that you can't carry as much ammo (the 12ga shells are bigger and heavier than the average rifle bullet), and shot is rather inefficient against body armor. TL:DR; assault rifle is more versatile than shotgun, hence AR gets used.

One of the few games that ignores the whole 'Shotguns are only useful at close range' trope is hilariously Gears of War, which is one of the most testosterone-poisoning and over the top games made. Whilst its true the Gear's shotgun instakill enemies up close, most players actually use the shotgun at it was intended, which was a mid-range weapon. It is telling when the majority of players prefer the shotgun than the iconic lancer assault rifle in open space firefights as it is amazingly accurate despite the spread and deals decent damage. There are even reports of players [[Wat|sniping with the shotgun better then most snipers.]]

==In [[Warhammer 40k]]==
Your typical generic weapon found in almost every genre, the Shotgun is a class of pump-action weapons utilized by the [[Imperium of Man]]. Like before a shotgun is a short-ranged anti-personnel weapon, and easily fired accurately on the move thanks to its wide spread of fire. Regularly employed by the [[Adeptus Arbites]], the shotgun (also referred to as a scatter gun), have been around since before M3. 38,000 years later the biggest "improvement" is the addition of 50 pounds of metal, allowing it to be used as a club so that after shooting a pissed off [[Genestealer]] you have the option of boinking it on the head, but only a Space Marine would consider a 50 pound weapon useful, even as club. Probably the second longest lived weapon in the Imperium (right after [[Basic Close Combat Weapons|anything sharp or heavy]]), it has appeared on nearly every Imperial world and battlefield.

Shotguns are also commonly employed by [[Space Marine]] Scouts and [[Imperial Guard]] Veterans, although the [[Space Marines]] are equipped with larger guns chambered for more powerful "Manstopper" rounds. Its hail of shot can shred through flesh, but its low velocity causes it to be ineffective against armoured enemies. The [[Imperial Navy]] uses them when boarding a ship or putting down mutinies because the nature of its rounds make it unlikely (read impossible) to pierce the hull of the ship, which is a good thing. The [[Deathwatch]] have their own shotguns, mainly for the specialist ammunition they use to take down many different types of Xenos at close range.

Imperial shotguns also can use a wide variety of different ammunition, including all types of bolts for maximum firepower (though less effective than an actual [[bolter]]) (<s>for some stupid reason</s> the different barrel length might interfere with close-range muzzle velocity, and carapace armor doesn't have a machine spirit to interface with the gun's), web charges for non-lethal takedowns, blazerer charges, that turn a shotgun into a nerfed flamethrower, talk charges for breaking doors, and really about anything you can fit inside the barrel, making it a great utility weapon in any FFG game.

*Range:12 | Str:4 | AP:- | Type:Assault 2 (Space Marine version, 7-th edition)
*Range:12 | Str:3 | AP:- | Type:Assault 2 (Imperial Guard version, 7-th edition)
*Range:12 | Str:4 | AP:0 | Type:Assault 2, becomes Str:5 if fired on range of 6" or less (Space Marine version, 8-th edition)
*Range:12 | Str:3 | AP:0 | Type:Assault 2, becomes Str:4 if fired on range of 6" or less (Imperial Guard version, 8-th edition)

{{40k-Imperial-Weapons}}

Warhammer Adventures

2019-02-11T02:03:26Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Gallery of Memes */

{{WTF}}
{{Heresy}}
{{HurfDurf}}

{{topquote|Life in the 41st Millennium is hard.|Cavan Scott making the greatest understatement of all time.}}

Warhammer is the [[Daemonculaba|worst]] [[Haemonculi|possible]] [[Marines Malevolent|setting]] for a children's series which could exist even in theory, so of course it now has its own "junior" product line. It makes perfect sense.

'''Warhammer Adventures''' is a series of Middle Grade (ages 8 to 12) novels published by [[Black Library]] and based on [[Age of Sigmar]] and [[Warhammer 40,000 8th edition]] due for release starting February 2019.

Each novel will feature a group of children going on amazing adventures, like in every kids novel ever released. Given that this generic plot template is being applied by freelance writers with little to no experience writing for Warhammer expect canon rape to ensue. The whole series has been described by Black Library in a Facebook comment as: "The Grim Darkness of the far future, but with a nightlight on".

==Novels==
===Warped Galaxies (40k)===
*''Attack of the Necron'' by [[wikipedia:Cavan Scott|Cavan Scott]]
*''Claws of the Genestealer'' by Cavan Scott
*''Secrets of the Tau'' by Cavan Scott

===Realm Quest (Age of Sigmar)===
*''City of Lifestone'' by <strike>Loki</strike> Tom Huddleston
*''Lair of the Skaven'' by Tom Huddleston
*''Forest of the Ancients'' by Tom Huddleston

==Characters==
Something you'll notice is that both settings follow a particular set of generic cliche characters: a peace-loving leader, a brash misfit of a brawler, and a prodigal artisan. Who, despite never going past their teenage years, are somehow just as, if not more, proficient as full-grown professionals in their settings.

Yep, you're essentially getting a teenager's fanfic here, or if you want to be generous it's the same template used for literally every other book series marketed towards pre-teens. Bear in mind they are from a licensed novel series by professional authors being sold for real money and not something you dug out of the crusty underbelly of DeviantArt or Fanfiction.net that you read for laughs; on the other hand, [[C.S. Goto|sometimes that's a distinction without a difference.]]

=== 40k ===

'''Zelia:''' The female leader that every young adult novel seems legally required to have these days. A young daughter of an [[Rogue Trader|galactic explorer]], she [[Heresy|helps her mom dig up ancient alien artifacts]] and [[Derp|hates weapons in a setting where everything that's alien and most things that aren't actively try to kill you.]] Instead she believes that the best way to overcome fear is by [[Magnus|learning]]. Voted most likely to be slowly tortured to death by the [[Inquisition]] for seeking out [[Chaos|the truth]].

'''Talen:''' The son of an [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Guard officer]], Talen decided to run away from home to [[Heresy|avoid military conscription]] and became a hive ganger. He's fairly aggressive and kind of a brute; however, that is offset by his [[noblebright|loyalty to his friends]]. He carries around a [[miniature|toy Soldier]] which is one of the only reminders he has of his older brother who went off to war. All in all, the only character whose preview is not a fluff-rape of [[C.S. Goto|multilasered]] proportions. Expect someone to make a greenstuff version of him as a [[Necromunda]] Juve. It would be ironic if his gang got conscripted by the Imperial Guard anyway, as they are known to do - he just better hope that the Commissar never finds out about the whole desertion thing.

'''Mekki:''' What happens when you cross a [[tech-priest]] with Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. He hails from [[Mars]] and is described as an [[Heretek|inventor]], due to his creation of a small robotic swarm that assist him with certain duties. His right arm is paralyzed so instead of doing the normal, cool Mechanicus thing and replacing it with cybernetics he decides to just build a brace to help him move it. Omnissiah only knows why he wasn't forcefully re-purposed as a [[servitor]] for his blatant tech-heresy yet, especially considering he's from Mars and even on backwater Forge Worlds things like Vorax Automata are shunned and forbidden because of their animalistic intelligence. This goes double as this is post-Great Rift, where Guilliman's protection of Cawl's tech heresies (one of which includes AI-tech) has the AdMech inching closer to another civil war.

'''Fleapit the [[Jokaero]]''': Yes, a frigging techno space ape is in this book series and it is helping the children. Yes, his name is "Fleapit". Apparently Cavan Scott thought that what 40k really needed to bring in the kiddies was Scooby-Doo.

'''[[Space Marines]]:''' Here as usual. Depicted in [[Primaris Marines|Primary-sue]] armour, so this bright and happy tale is happening post-[[Great Rift]]. Naturally, they're using the [[Ultramarines|Ultrasmurfs]], as they're "[[Matt Ward|bravest of all the heroic Space Marines]]", and not because they're just the most easily recognizable Chapter that gets the most publicity, honest.

'''[[Necrons]]:''' The cold and unfeeling [[Derp|"enslaving tyrants"]] we all know and purge, probably chosen because killing robots is much more family-friendly than shooting at living things, and some of their [[Gauss|primary weapons]] kill cleanly too. Less retarded than it sounds, since Wardcrons have enough variation in their personalities that some random Phaeron keeping enfleshed as pets makes perfect sense, especially considering [[Trazyn]]'s "collection." Ol' Trollzyn as an evil space collector who traps living beings to keep as exhibits in his space museum would actually make him a pretty good kid-adventure villain (leaving out the eternal agony parts in regards to some of his captives).

=== Age of Sigmar ===

'''Elio:''' Token black kid from the realm of life. His medical skills are "second to none," presumably among his age bracket of a mere 14 years. Obsessive about [[Drycha|plants]], but apparently interested in all critters great and small, up to and including monsters like [[manticore]]s. Also, he's not much of a fighter - because that's not a concern with giant man-eating monsters, right? Basically the embodiment of the gentle giant/pacifist healer trope, in a setting where people like that exist to be fed to Chaos warriors to show the audience how evil they are.

'''Alish:''' A 12-year old from the Realm of Light, who is "restless, inquisitive and highly intelligent" and has the instinctive ability to repair "almost any mechanical device." She also loves inventing and has apparently designed and built everything from clocks to airships, despite being 12. Mary Sue classic. And to make her extra stupid, the one thing she refuses to build is weapons, despite A) walking around with a sodding huge hammer and B) living in the monster- and barbarian-filled world of AoS where access to weapons can and will save lives. Basically Zelia, but in fantasy.

'''Kiri:''' At fifteen, she seems to be the oldest of the bunch, coming from the realm of metal. Kiri is "as strong and steadfast as steel" who was raised in the barbarian slave camps of Aqshy (because the whole character would probably have been a lot different if it was a Slanneshi warband) where she learned to fight as soon as she could walk. "Somehow this harsh life hasn't made her cruel or resentful" - direct quote, and we're pretty bloody surprised too. She uses a slingshot. She fought in Chaos gladiator pits '''and won''' with a ''slingshot.''

'''Thanis''' A 12-year old gal from the realm of Fire. The strong wimmin type of the group who protects her friends.

'''Kreech''' A cunning Skaven packlord of the clan Quickfang YES YES. An unusual Skaven who has adopted the man-thing's behavior and their ability to be creative, very usual since most Skaven looked down on anything that's not Skaven. Currently scheming with a heretical woman-thing in order to gain more power in the man-thing hierarchy. He also owns a man-thing play-thing called Scratch. YES YES.

'''Scratch''' A 12-year old from realm of Beast and currently Kreech's plaything; his true name is forgotten. Like how [[Leman Russ]] and [[Lion El'Johnson]] was raised by the wild and had adopted it's behavior, Scratch has adopted Skaven's cunning thinking and has fashion himself to be like one of them.

'''[[Stormcast Eternals]]:''' As they are. Nothing particularly odd or inaccurate in their bio blurb - they even mentioned the whole "died and was reborn" bit.

'''Darkoath Barbarians:''' One of many tribes serving <s>[[Chaos]]</s> [[Derp|the forces of Evil]] (they're probably lumping all non-Order Grand Alliances into one big "bad guys" group, because Order ''totally'' lacks [[Drycha|any]] [[Daughters of Khaine|dark]] [[Idoneth Deepkin|side]]). Plundering, pillaging, enslaving... typical villain stuff. Their name is still less stupid than 99% of what GW Legal's shat out, though.

==Reception==
Initial reception has been [[Skub|polarizing]], to say the least. Many consider this series a futile attempt to dilute the grimdarkness of both Warhammer settings to try and appeal to a younger demographic, with the slim but worrying possibility of the dumbing-down and "modern" approach to writing working its way into the setting proper in a greedy lunge for Daddy's credit card. ([[End Times|It's not like GW isn't known for terrible ideas, after all.]]) Characters hating weaponry, gleefully searching xenotech and running away from conscription in 40k certainly don't give people that much confidence, leading to pointed questions regarding how they would deal with darker groups like Dark Eldar/Elves, Daughter of Khaine, Idoneth Deepkin, Chaos, Undead or Tyranids; when asked, Black Library deflected the question or gave non-answers to the effect of "very carefully." There's also the argument that many kids prefer fantasizing about characters older than them, and that by making the protagonists kids, they are invariably just making it corny and unappealing to the very audience they want to attract.

It's also inevitable that some parents will catch on to the fact that these kid-friendly adventures actually take place in a universe where the literal gods are embodiment of concepts like genocide and sexual violence. Less abstractly, Warhammer is full of things like [[Dark Eldar|race-wide mandated mass torture]], machines who [[Flayed Ones|wear the flayed and bloody flesh of their foes]], and [[Daemonculaba|horrifically mutated]] [[/pol/|sub-sapient]] [[Skaven|breeding slaves]]. Daddy and Mommy are going to be upset when they realize just what Warhammer is actually like. For once in human history, the parents who just bought their kids something which causes permanent psychological damage will have a valid point when they blame the company that sold it to them. Of course, all the above is moot if GW ends up depicting a comparatively whitewashed version of the setting with most of the nastier parts stripped out or otherwise not alluded to directly, but that still doesn't stop the kids from stumbling over the unabridged versions anyway (and their parents putting two and two together from there).

Defenders argue that this could be an opportunity to flesh out groups and aspects of the setting that often get ignored, showing positive aspects of the galaxy in a setting so focused on grimdark. There's also the possibility of new mini-lines being produced, probably somewhat cheaper than the mainline series to not scare children (or their parents) away, which could help flesh out the more neglected armies, assuming they don't just keep drowning us in Spacesigmarines and Stormhammer shit because that's what Marketing wants to sell. And the most obvious benefit being that parent gamers will be able to introduce their younger children to the setting with age-appropriate material before weening them into the more mature stuff (like it is meant for ages 8-12, older people aren't suppose to like it) thus giving young kids more options.

Considering that GW themselves have said that their ideal demographic is “an intelligent 18 year old,” it's somewhat baffling why they’ve chosen to write for a demographic so young. At best, they should have started with young teens, giving them more room to stay closer to the grimdark of 40k while still being able to pull back. Perhaps their reasoning is that younger kids are easier to sell merchandise to, which is probably true if properties like Skylanders are anything to go by. That being said, we don’t know what’s GW’s long-term strategies are for drawing in and maintaining this younger demographic, or what the parent’s reactions will be when their kids start screaming “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD” or “HERESY” at every opportunity.

Ultimately, market performance alone will probably put paid to Warhammer Adventures. Expect a few months, maybe a year, to go by of ''nobody'' buying it, either for their kids or [[Heresy|themselves]], after which GW will probably just sheepishly sweep their little failed experiment under the rug and join us in pretending it never existed. Considering just how smartly GW's been handling their relationship with the fanbase lately, it's actually hard to imagine them just bulling forward with such a stupid idea once it becomes clear that nobody's interested. In the unlikely event that it catches on (or the slightly more likely event that the project is kept alive for the sake of internal or external politics) and GW invests more resources into it, consider learning the history of Magic: The Gathering to see where that particular slippery slope will lead.

Unfortunately for /tg/, the public Adventures roadmap has been expanded from two books to six before the first two books even came out. Perhaps it's time to start learning [[Infinity (wargame)|Infinity.]]

==Gallery of Memes==
One of the few good things to spring from the announcement of Warhammer Adventures is the number of lulzy images produced by /tg/ as anons interpret what little they know in their own "unique" way.
<gallery>
File:WHAdventuresWTF.jpg|Everyone's first reaction upon reading Zelia's bio
File:WHA-Commissar.jpg|The Commissar's first reaction upon reading Talen's bio
File:WHA-Mekki.gif|The Mechanicus' first reaction upon reading Mekki's bio
File:WHA-TheNecroning.png|How the Necron book should've ended
File:WHA-ChaosSchoolbus.jpg|"Hey kids! Today we're going to learn about MURDERFUCKING!"
File:WHA-Scooby.jpg|"Jeepers! It was old man Abbadon the whole time!"
File:Warhammer Adventures.jpg|They ripped-off the rip-off!
File:WHA-Thanos.jpeg|This is why you don't play in front of the anti-tank guns, kids.
File:90EE3FA4-8EF1-43A7-AE7A-6CC30E92D56D.jpeg|Preview of the upcoming Dark Eldar book
File:Look_what_i_found_mom%2C_an_alien%21.jpg| Look what I found, mom, an alien! Can we keep it?
File:WHA-ZeliaLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Zelia (one step closer to canon with the upcoming "Claws of the Genestealer" book)
File:WHA-TalenLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Talen
File:WHA-MekkiLore.jpg|Lore-friendly Mekki
File:Warhammer adventures.jpg|A sneak peek into the secret psyker character.
File:WHA-Chaos.jpg|"The spiky guy said he'd take us all over the galaxy, surely we can trust him!"
File:Change.jpg|Pictured; Zelia's father, Zelia's father's second-in-command, unnamed warrior from the Kabal of the Black Heart.
File:HardLife41.jpg|Life in the 41st Millenium is [[Derp| hard]].
File:WHA-Ultramarines.jpg|Meet the Ultramarines.
File:WHA-Trooper.png|Bio of the fan favorite character, Trooper 3959-9945.
File:WHAIntroduction.jpeg|Sage advice on how 40k should be introduced to children.
File:Warhammer-adventures-orgy.png|Child-friendly content.
</gallery>
[[Category:Games Workshop]]
[[Category:Literature]]
[[Category:Age of Sigmar]]
[[Category:Black Library]]
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Stubber

2019-02-10T13:50:43Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Liberator Autostub */

Stubbers, or stub guns, are weapons from as early as M2, but mostly 20th century [[Firearm|gun]]s (our times) in the 41st millennium. Needless to say, most haven't aged very well when you consider how powerful everything else is. The only thing that they have going for them is they are cheap, they can still kill an unarmored humanoid target, and are durable as hell and depending on its mechanics and care, can be and have been in use ''SINCE M2''. They are incredibly weak against much of the universe's serious threats - in fact, they are the only thing that a [[Imperial_Guard|Guardsman's]] paper armor will reliably stop. This should give you an indication of exactly how weak they are. Of course this is for anything equal to or below the Stub Rifle, anything above it can guarantee to fuck up your [[Space Marine]] quite well. Just because a gun is simple doesn't mean it's not effective, especially when it's scaled up a few (dozen) calibers. But just remember - every dog has their day. Stub guns are actually capable of downing Terminators if the unlucky marine rolls a 1.

==Disambiguation==
One of the pitfalls of Games Workshop is that they really don't have an internal canon police. To wit, the difference between Stub weapons and Auto weapons is rather blurry. Some authors write as though these technologies are one-and-the-same, citing only vernacular differences for the existence of multiple terms for ignited-gas slug-throwers (or sometimes totally writing out one term or the other!). The game itself is not an exemption, as edition-to-edition, codex-to-codex, and supplement-to-official author changes cause a mess of personal opinion writing over personal opinion, and some authors sling both terms with abandon, interchanging one for the other whenever they feel one term is becoming overused.

To clarify, it is generally agreed that there are both Stubbers and Auto-weapons. Stub technology tends to be lower-tech, revolvers-to-WWII style weaponry, with an air towards larger-caliber and higher stopping-power. Auto-weapons tend to be higher-tech, Cold-War-and-on style weaponry, which emphasize accuracy and fire rate. It's been suggested that any full scale cannons would be classified as Auto-weapons, however calling a battle cannon or macro cannon an Auto-weapon is a bit of a stretch. Bigger caliber and relatively slow rates of fire denote Stub weapons, until you hit the point where infantry can no longer wield them. Anything with explosive, tracer, frangible, or incendiary rounds are typically Auto-weapons. Muzzle-loaders like muskets or arquebuses are neither Auto nor Stub. Furthermore, autoguns are generally (but not always) described as firing caseless ammunition and also include such types of weapons as gauss rifles (the electromagnetic kind not Neceon bullshit) and even gravitic propelled slugs.

A good example to use would be pistols. A stub pistol would be either a revolver or a semi-auto magazine-fed pistol. An autopistol would be either a handheld automatic pistol or a burst-fire pistol. High-tech, [[Shadowrun]]-esque revolvers are still Stub weapons, while Krieg-made automatic slug-throwing cannons are still Auto weapons by default, and hand-crank Gatling guns could go either way. Pepperbox-style breach-loaders would be neither, and futuristic ignited-gas projectile weapons are Auto weapons. Since GW is pathologically incapable of consistency, the Cult Mechanicus Tech-Priest Dominus carries a 5-shot burst pistol called a macrostubber, even though its form factor and performance suggest that it should be called some type of auto pistol. Probably fires similar rounds to a heavy stubber though, but only in power not calibur and it is the method of the weapon system’s function which distinguishes the type of weapon in this case so the macrostubber is an auto-weapon..

For further comparison between Stubbers and Autoguns, [[Autogun#Autoguns_versus_Stubbers|click here]].

==Variants==
[[File:Inq1-blackpowder-pistol.jpg|200px|rght|thumb|When you really want to go back to the point on making [[Orks]] look advanced. The Flintlock Pistol is the tool for you.]]

===Flintlock Pistol===
Wooo boy. If you want to role play as a 16th century Pirate, then the Flintlock Pistol is for you. These simple black powder weapons can take many forms, from finely crafted pistols constructed for the nobles of low-tech worlds to simple pipe and powder affairs used by underhive scum. They are uncommon and are famous for their low battle characteristics but those which do exist are sometimes very heavily ornamented and carried by high ranking officers mainly as decoration.

Of course, whilst you may scoff at the idea of going into a battle filled with tanks and space ships with an 18th century gun, do take note that the more master-crafted versions could be quite deceptively deadly by virtue of incorporating some form of advanced tech into, seemingly, primitive and "backward" design. For example, such constructs could be capable of holding plasma munitions that can crack open power armor in a single shot. So laugh at your own peril.

===Musket===
[[File:Rb1-73-musket.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Musket, basically the Flintlock's older brother.]]
Muskets are primitive firearms, utilizing explosive powder and a crude firing mechanism to propel a lead ball. Like the Flintlock Pistol, these crude devices can only fire once before reloading and are prone to failure. Slow, inaccurate, and unreliable, they are only made and used on backwards planets. However, they are extremely easy to construct and maintain even from scrap-parts and with an absolute minimum of skill and knowledge about firearms operation. For this reason they are known to be quite popular among outlaw members of Hive societies such as the Ratskins and Scalies of the Necromundan underhive. The [[Planetary Defense Forces]] of Feral and Feudal Worlds also sometimes make use of muskets.

Like the Flintlock Pistols, master-crafted Muskets could be quite deceptively deadly by virtue of incorporating some form of advanced tech into, seemingly, primitive and "backward" design. That “backward” musket could hide archaeotech capable of making a Thermal Cannon look like a firecracker.

===Blunderbuss===
[[File:Blunderbuss_by_comannderrx-d93gbik.png|200px|right|thumb|The Blunderbuss, the Shotgun's grandfather.]]

A primitive shotgun. Also known as a Scatter Gun, the Blunderbuss is an exceedingly simple weapon made out of one or more short barrels strapped to a solid stock. An explosive charge is primed at the bottom of each barrel, then a large amount of metal fragments, stones, pieces of bone or anything else likely to cause harm are packed in on top.

When the weapon is discharged, it belches out this "ammunition" in a vast swath which will hopefully find itself somewhere in the locale of its intended target.

Outside of primitive societies, such a crude, ineffective and dangerous (to its operator) weapon is only used by the poorest or most desperate members of society. Usually it can be found in use by criminal gangs, for instance the Ratskin Renegades and [[Scavvies]] of Necromunda's underhive.

===Scatter Cannon===
[[File:Scatter_Cannon2.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Scatter Cannon. The Blunderbuss' older brother and the Shotgun's uncle.]]

A primitive weapon found on Necromunda and used exclusively by the [[Scalies]]. Basically a 18th century cannon with a trigger attached to it. A scatter cannon is simply an enlarged version of a Blunderbuss or scatter gun with a heavy barrel and a fist sized bore. The greater weight of the shrapnel and explosive charge used in a scatter cannon increase its range and make it a lot deadlier in the confined conditions of the underhive.

If all else fails, the Scalie can basically just use the giant cannon as a giant makeshift club. Any poor scrub would get crushed by the weapon's immense weight. The Scatter Cannon is sturdy enough due to be constructed mainly with one piece of reinforced wooden log and one piece of a steel firing bore. Thus, the Scatter Cannon is essentially the watered down version of the Ogryn's Ripper Guns.

Scalies are the only underhive denizens with the massive strength to take the recoil from these powerful primitive weapons.

===Stub Gun===
[[File:40k-Stub-Boltok-Pistol.jpg|right|200px|thumb|Some things... don't quite get better with age, but the Stub Gun definitely aged well.]]
God made men, Sam Colt made them equal, and John Browning made them civilized. It's a basic pistol in two variants: the stub automatic which is like a .45 caliber handgun and the stub revolver which is, of course, a generic revolver, more of which can be explained below. If you're in a gang on a hive world, it'll work pretty well because you're probably going to be shooting at other people without armor, or lightly armored local law enforcement. Very reliable, unlikely to jam, manufacture is a breeze, and ammo is plentiful. However, if you're trying to shoot an [[Ork]], even headshots might just bounce off his skull. Though, the same could be said of [[autogun]]s and [[lasgun]]s, minus the actual bouncing of course.

====Stub Revolver====
The stub revolver carries fewer rounds than most pistols but is very reliable and easy to operate. As bullets can be inserted individually, it is relatively easy to load in specialized rounds when needed. It is one of the most ancient of pistol designs and serves as an ideal backup weapon.

====Stub Automatic====
Unlike the Stub revolver, this pistol weapon fires in semi-automatic. Like the [[Autogun#Autopistol|Autopistol]] it is easy to produce and maintain, but less accurate at longer ranges. Just as common as the revolver variant, the stub automatic is relatively less reliable, but allows for a greater rate of fire and magazine capacity.

<gallery>
File:Stub_revolver.jpg|Stub Revolver
File:Stub_automatic.jpg|One must wonder how any magazine is supposed to [[FAIL|fit inside such a grip]]
</gallery>

===Hand Cannon===
[[File:Hand_Cannon.png|200px|right|thumb|A Hand Cannon. For when you want to have pint-sized firepower.]]
Basically a semi-auto stub pistol on steroids, not unlike real-world .50 cal Desert Eagle or .454 Casull pistols in operation (It is worth noting that at least one model of hand cannon has its caliber listed as being .54 cal, that equals roughly 13.06mm).

Hand cannons are almost invariably heavy and cumbersome by pistol-grade weapons standards, in addition to having unforgiving recoil, requiring a degree of training and physical resilience to wield such a firearm.<br>
However, hand cannon do reward their users with the ability to kill even armoured or resilient to damage opponents (like Ogryns, Orks and Necrons). Sort of. They are still closer in power to stub pistols than bolt pistols for instance. But they are far easier to produce meaning Guardsmen, typically Sergeants and vets, could use them as a surprisingly powerful backup weapon. And if you find yourself up close and personal with an Ork, Necron or Genestealer, you will want as much firepower as you can get your hands on.

Its big brother is called the Stub Cannon which can be read below.

===Stub Cannon===
[[File:Stub_Cannon.JPG|200px|right|thumb|Stub Cannon. The Devil's Fang of Stub weapons.]]

Often called "stub-blasters" or more simply "stubbies", the Stub Cannon is an especially large version of the hand cannon that fires massive, high-caliber rounds that's so massive that the recoil can break bones. As such, most gangers in the underhive could barely lift such a weapon, let alone take the grievous recoil from firing one in the first place. [[Abhuman|Due to their unnatural and inhumanly large muscle mass and bulk,]] they're favored mainly by the members of [[House Goliath]].

Like the [[Catachan Jungle Fighters|Catachan's and their Knives]], carrying such a gun is more a show of strength (and a dick measuring contest) than it is a practical weapon, but that just adds to the appeal for your average Goliath ganger.

The Stub Cannon looks like an enlarged Stub-Revolver. How quaint.

===Stub Rifle===
[[File:Stubrifle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Sure enough, the Stub Rifle epitomizes not fixing something if it ain't broken.]]
The gun that coins the term Stubber.

Generally, a simple medium/high-caliber bolt-action or semi-auto rifle. Also called the Stubber. It is basically your typical, everyday hunting rifle you can buy today with some slight modifications. Existing in many patterns, generally such a rifle is regarded as a lowly civilian-grade weapon or tool.

However, it often sees action not as just a hunting or farming tool, but as a combat weapon in the hands of lowly insurgents, cultists, or militia fighters. It's likely that high powered Stub Rifles could also be seen to use the same or similar rounds to a Heavy Stubber, minus the automatic fire. Heck, some high powered Stubbers could become a makeshift Sniper Rifle. Typically a Stub Rifle acts as a Marksman Rifle in these cases. Its rule 63 equivalents are the Las-lock or Autogun.

===Liberator Autostub===
[[File:Liberator_Autostub.JPG|200px|right|thumb|Liberator Autostub. A gun that literally fires bullets made out of [[Bullshit|Bullshitium.]]]]
The primary sidearm of the triple gunslinging space cowboy of the [[Genestealer Hybrids#Kelermorph Hybrids|Kelermorph Hybrid]]. From an initial perspective, these Stub Revolvers look like any other form of Stub Revolver. But don't let that fool you, for these revolvers pack enough of a punch to make a Hand Cannon and even a Bolt Pistol look like a pathetic Flintlock Pistol in comparison.

For you see, the bullets of a Liberator Autostub is made from extremely [[Bullshit|'rare']] depleted volonium shells. Rare is in quotations because they are made from disgruntled workers from any normal arms factory, [[Wat|which begs the question on why the Imperium never seem to make bullets out of these volonium stuff if]] [[Derp|god damned sweatshop workers can smuggle them out and make it by themselves.]] (Maybe genestealers shit out volonium?) Anyways, these bullets are hard enough to pierce Power Armour and the hulls of light tanks.

On tabletop, these are the Kelermorph's rootin' tootin' shootin' S4 AP-1 2 damage Pistol 2. [[Awesome|The Kelermorph has three of these babies and can just gun down space marines and below with ease.]] [[Cypher|Cypher]] wishes he can get guns these good.

===Shotgun===
[[File:Shotgun.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Shotgun AKA the Boomstick.]]
Imperial shotguns, in fact, changed little over millenia - they are the same smoothbore firearms, principally designed to either fire buckshot at close ranges or slugs to engage targets up to medium ranges. About the only big change that the Imperium employs to the gun itself is putting the gun's tubes in a metal box. These are generally simple and cheap in construction and exists in different patterns and models throughout the Imperium of Man. They range from archaic over-and-under shotguns and pump-action ones to the full auto combat shotguns, employed as a signature weapons of Adeptus Arbites, to models specifically tailored for Space Marine's biology, and thus having great mass and recoil, but also vastly greater stopping power.

Also worth noting is that along with simple buckshot or slug shells, Imperial shotguns can also fire specialised rounds, usually produced by the Adeptus Mechanicus, including the dreaded Executioner-pattern sniper slugs, having the ability to change their trajectory mid-flight and home in on their target thanks to their miniature on-board cogitator. The [[Deathwatch]] also maintains unique shotguns with specialized alien-killing rounds, utilizing armour-piercing solid rounds, flame-belching shells, or rounds that fill the room with deadly bouncing ball-bearings.
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===Ripper Gun===
[[File:Ripper_Gun.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Ripper Guns. Just when you thought regular Shotguns were big enough.]]
The Ogryn Ripper Gun is a large, brutal, and simple weapon designed for use by Imperial Guard Ogryns. It is a heavy automatic shotgun, built as simply and solidly as possible in order to survive being used by the Ogryns who use it as much as a club as a firearm. Think of it as the high-tech grandson of the Scatter Cannon. It can fire either a heavy shell or a hail of shot. By design, the Ripper Gun does not have a long range to better fit the Ogryns' instincts for close combat, and many also have a fire rate limiter to prevent them from firing off an entire magazine's worth of ammunition at once.

Ripper Guns are intended to be fired to soften up the enemy before the Ogryns charge into close combat, and are built particularly robustly so that they can stand up to the Ogryns' use of them as clubs in melee. Ripper Guns can also be fitted with Ripper Saws. A Ripper Saw is, as the name implies, a saw blade that is attached to the end of a Ripper Gun which is intended to provide the Ogryn with an effective close combat melee weapon once they close with the enemy. The Ripper Gun is one of the few Imperial weapons that is intentionally crafted for use by Ogryns, and its design is intended to be much more durable and larger than a standard Imperial weapon, to compensate for the Ogryns' size, extreme clumsiness, and intellectual deficits.

<gallery>
image:OgrynRipperGun.png|<center>Ripper Gun</center>
</gallery>
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===Heavy Stubber===
[[File:Heavy_Stubber.jpg|250px|right|thumb|A [[Death Korps of Krieg|Krieg]] Centaur's pintle-mounted Heavy Stubber.]]
Well-known is the Heavy Stubber, a machine gun used as a vehicle mount in the Imperial Guard, because in 40,000+ years, humanity has still been unable to top the genius of Weaponsmith John Browning's legendary [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M2_Browning M2] (who's surprised?). Just ask the goddamned [[Orks]].

It is basically a <strike>direct equivalent of the</strike> Browning M2 .50 cal Heavy Machine Gun (Except for the Vraks-pattern, which looks more like a [[Nazi|MG420]]. [[Awesome|The Imperial Guard uses them in the same way as light machineguns were in WW2]]. Various models on tabletop visially run from .50 to bolter sized bullets to rounds that probably are larger than a heavy bolter’s hanging off a short chain. So, who the fuck knows. [[Derp|They all hit the same anyway]]. Unlike the smaller Stub guns, Heavy Stubbers actually contain enough mass to do similar damage to a Bolter round at a much higher rate, (albeit with more recoil) and will reliably blow people's limbs off now as easy as they did then. Unlike the others which have been phased out, these are still in the mainline army arsenals, and are often pintle-mounted on vehicles or used in Heavy Weapon Squads in the [[Imperial Guard]], especially for vehicles produced from worlds that do not have the resources to produce Heavy Bolters, or those who just find it more economical to push out a hundred Heavy Stubbers with the man-hours it would take to make a single Heavy Bolter and rounds for it. Obviously, they are not as strong as the Heavy Bolter they replace, which is <s>several times</s> more powerful than a regular Bolter, but they are stilled damned powerful enough, and they [[/tg/ gets shit done|DO GET SHIT DONE]]. Besides, if you're just trying to gun down enemy infantry, you don't strictly ''need'' a Heavy Bolter, or even a Storm Bolter, when a Heavy Stubber is just as capable of turning a human or human-equivalent into so much jelly. A heavy bolter is nice for ruining their cover if it were used in real life, so everyone else can have a merry time slaughtering the exposed enemy. Then there are the different types of ammo, such as ones that [[Awesome|break apart in the target and the ''pieces'' '''explode'''.]] A similar but heavier laser version of this weapon would be a [[multilaser]].

Note that despite our metaphorical praise calling it the M2 .50 cal of the future (for its simplicity and dependability), its actual calibre according to [[Imperial Armour]] books is an "8.25 long" cartridge. Assuming this means "8.25mm diameter, rifle cartridge" this puts it at a "mere" 0.325, not 0.50. In fairness that was only the calibre of the Vraks pattern mentioned above, which was modeled after the smaller MG42, which fired the 7.92×57mm cartridge.

Surprisingly, an enhanced heavy Stubber called the Ironhail Heavy Stubber is one of the many weapons used by the [[Primaris Marines]]' transport, the [[Repulsor Tank]]. <strike>Why it uses a heavy stubber instead of the much more potent and commonly used heavy bolter is a mystery for the ages.</strike> Again, reliability and ammo simplicity. No fancy rockets, just bigass bullets of doom. Also although it has no impact in-game heavy stubbers probably have much more ammo capacity and faster, more accurate rounds, being smaller and lighter and relying on pure impact (thus speed) to inflict damage compared to a heavy bolter round. Google the .50 SLAP round for a potential real life equivalent.

The Death Guard also make use of a variant known as the Heavy Slugger, which fires Heavy Bolter level shots at a faster rate.
{{clear}}

===Sniper Rifle===
[[File:SniperRifle6.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Space Marine Sniper Rifle. [[Mary Sue|Better than those filthy plebian Sniper Rifles of the Guard]]... save for one...]]
While the Imperial sniper rifles are generally a rather broad class of weapons including, for example, the Long-las sniper [[lasgun]]s used by the Imperial Guard, at least some of the sniper rifles utlized in the Imperium are actually solid-slug ballistic weaponry, firing high-caliber, powerful rounds to achieve maximum range and precision with their shots. Some specialist snipers like to add in specialized rounds in their Sniper Rifle for the 'special occasions'.

Space Marine Chapters, particularly Scouts, utilize a unique model of Sniper Rifle. A Space Marine-pattern Sniper Rifle fires a solid shell and boasts powerful telescopic sights that allows the wielder to fire at enemy weak points and distant foes with extreme accuracy.

<gallery>
image:CatachanSniper.png|<center>Catachan Sniper Rifle</center>
image:RatlingSniper.png|<center>Ratling Sniper Rifle</center>
image:SpaceMarineSniper.png|<center>Astartes Sniper Rifle</center>
</gallery>
{{clear}}

===Exitus Pistol===
[[File:ExitusPistol.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Exitus Pistol]]
The Exitus Rifle's kid cousin. The Exitus Pistol is an Imperial pistol and a signature weapon of the Vindicare Temple of the Officio Assassinorum. Like its cousin the Exitus Rifle, it is a masterpiece of Adeptus Mechanicus engineering and is custom-built for the requirements of the individual assassin. The Pistol is largely a backup weapon for the Exitus Rifle and is used in the rare circumstances the assassin is discovered, cornered, or in need of rapid-fire weaponry. With a built-in silencer and the capacity to load and fire the same specialized ammo as its big brother, it is has saved the lives of many Vindicare Assassins.

Like its rifle counterpart, the Exitus Pistol is capable of firing a variety of specialized ammunition. These include:
*'''Shield-Breaker Rounds''' - Overload the personal Force Fields of the target
*'''Turbo-Penetrator Rounds''' - Use a two-stage charge to punch a secondary round through the thickest armor.
*'''Hellfire Rounds''' - Contain virulent bio-acidic toxins that can reduce targets to ash.

<gallery>
image:ExitusPistolHolster.png|''An Exitus Pistol holstered.''
</gallery>
{{clear}}

===Exitus Rifle===
[[File:Sniper_Rifle.jpg|200px|right|thumb|The Exitus Sniper Rifle. Scoring more headshots then the entire Tau Empire combined.]]
Arguably the most iconic (and dreaded) of such Imperial "solid-slug" sniper rifles are the Exitus rifles, employed by field agents of the [[Officio Assassinorum]]'s [[Vindicare]] temple. Each of these rifles is a one-of-a-kind "work of art", being painstakingly hand-crafted by Adeptus Mechanicus artisans to match the particular specs of each individual assassin. Its exceptional range and power also imply that the rifle uses something far more advanced than mere chemical gunpowder combustion to accelerate its bullets (however, the exact mechanics of its action is highly classified by Adeptus Mechanicus top brass).
With such high velocity, combined with specially made "turbo-penetrator" round, designed to make quick work of any armor short of the one utilised by super-heavy tanks, the Exitus rifle gives the Vindicare assassin a chance to slay practically every conceivable target in just one well placed shot...

The Exitus Rifle is capable of firing a variety of ammunition depending on the target. These include:
*'''Shield-Breaker Rounds''' - Overload the personal Force Fields of the target
*'''Turbo-Penetrator Rounds''' - Use a two-stage charge to punch a secondary round through the thickest armor.
*'''Hellfire Rounds''' - Contain virulent bio-acidic toxins that can reduce targets to ash.

<gallery>
image:VindicareExitus.png|<center>Exitus Rifle</center>
</gallery>
{{clear}}

===Macrostubber===
[[File:Macrostubber.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Macrostubber. Looking more like a Rad Gun than anything else.]]
The Macrostubber is the Mechanicum's more advanced and powerful variation of a typical solid-slug ballistic weapon (As expected from the AdMech). The standout feature of the Macrostubber is just *how fast* it fires, especially considering it's basically an SMG with similar power to a bolter, or Ork shoota. This type of antique weapon is used by Adeptus Mechanicus Tech-Priests, and is able to hurl out a thunderous cloud of specially designed bullets (the exact method of accelerating its projectiles is not disclosed by the Techpriests, however the looks imply something more that just gunpowder is involved). A Macrostubber can apparently fire at a rate exceeding the Heavy Stubber, a bloody MG, by a ratio of 5:3! Maybe it's just an MG 42 cut down to pistol form? It's further possible that Macrostubbers are coilguns or railguns, which would explain the need for "specifically designed" (read: ferromagnetic) projectiles. Maybe the electromagnetic firing mechanism removes the need for moving parts, accelerating the rate of fire by removing the need to cycle a bolt? Perhaps it's only as good as a normal autogun, but the Magos that wield them can think so fast that they aim and fire with absolute precision and accuracy, making literally every shot count.

You know what, just think of it as a drum-fed, compact, heavy machine gun with a crazy-fast rate of fire, and you won't go insane. Or maybe you will considering it's practically a .50 cal machine gun that fires almost as fast as an Assault Cannon, and is wielded as a pistol! In theory could be dual-wielded, or more if you have extra robot arms...

This weapon has proven quite [[Skub|skubby]] in /tg/, due to the fact that some people have taken into calling it an Autogun due to its technological superiority and rate of fire despite the name. Then again, some may have pointed out that it could be just a more portable and lightweight variant of the Heavy Stubber. As noted in the Disambiguation section, the fluff [[Autogun#Autoguns_versus_Stubbers|doesn't do a good job of drawing any consistent lines]] between Stubbers and Auto-weaponry.

Also worthy of note is that stubber and autogun refer to the mechanism of the weapon itself, whereas a bolter specifies both the weapon, and the special explosive <s>rocket-assisted</s> rocket-propelled (assisted just gets it up to the right muzzle velocity, propelled does far more) munition it uses. It could very well be that a macrostubber employs the simple and reliable mechanics of a stubber to fire a low-velocity high-mass (hence, low initial recoil) rocket-assisted round. Historically, rocket firearms have not proven too reliable, but the biggest problem is the ammunition; it would make perfect sense that these weapons function only if maintained and used by a member of the AdMech.

<gallery>
image:MacrostubberPict.png|<center>Macrostubber</center>
</gallery>
{{clear}}

===Stubcarbine===
[[File:Stubcarbine.jpg|200px|right|thumb|A Stubcarbine. You would be fooled to think this was an Autogun.]]
''Another'' AdMech weapon exclusive to the [[Skitarii]]. The stubcarbine, though small, has the stopping power of the heavy stubbers mounted on the vehicles of the Imperial Guard. When a squad of Sicarian Infiltrators opens fire with these weapons, the air fills with an avalanche of solid shot that chews their victims to shreds. It can be assumed to have a shorter range to compensate for their high rate of fire or because of it's short barrel and high caliber. It's rate of fire and high power beg the question: How long does that tiny magazine last? It most likely has small magazine capacity in the form of a barrel/drum magazine to squeeze out more room and is probably capable of being used as “bang your dead” with quick single shots at different targets or blowing its load at one or a tight group of targets rapidly. With a squad equipped with these, the enemy will be dead by the time you need to reload, so magazine size won’t really matter. And Skitarii are incredibly expendable to the AdMech.

Judging from how they are described in fluff, Stubcarbines seem to be a lightened variant of Heavy Stubbers, outfitted with some kind of recoil suppression system to allow them being fired as handheld weapons by the Skitarii, albeit with shorter range due tosporting a much shorter barrel than the actual Heavy Stubber. It seems like the thinking was "a carbine is a ligher version of a rifle, so a Stubcarbine is a lighter version of a Heavy Stubber." This would make it an... assault rifle? High caliber (but otherwise normal) carbine? Uncertain, go ask [[/k/]]. (/k/ here, sounds like the Heavy Stubber "variant" was not a .50 but a 7.62x51 or equivalent, which would make it a medium machine gun. But knowing the Admech, it's not improbable that it is a .50 in which case it would be a compact heavy machine gun, or a high calibre SMG, depending on the overall power of the rounds)

<gallery>
image:SicarianStubcarbine.png|<center>Stubcarbine</center>
</gallery>
{{clear}}

==Gallery==
===Shotgun===
<gallery>
image:NecromundanShotguns.png|''An assortment of Necromundan (and Arbites) Shotguns.''
image:GenestealerShotguns.png|<center>Cultist Shotguns</center>
image:CadianShotgun.png|<center>Cadian Shotgun</center>
image:AstartesShotgun.png|<center>Astartes Shotgun</center>
image:DeathwatchShotgun.png|<center>Deathwatch Shotgun</center>
</gallery>
===Heavy Stubber===
<gallery>
image:GenestealerStubber.png|<center>Cultist Heavy Stubber</center>
image:CultistStubber.png|''With a right body, one person is enough''.
image:TeamStubber.png|''But if not, you might need a couple''.
image:TankStubber.png|<center>Pintle Mount</center>
image:SquadStubber.png|<center>Heavy Weapons Team</center>
image:SaberStubber.png|<center>Sabre Gun Platform</center>
image:RepulsorStubber.png|<center>Ironhail Heavy Stubber</center>
image:PlagueburstStubber.png|<center>Heavy Slugger</center>
</gallery>

{{clear}}

{{Template:40k-Imperial-Weapons}}
{{40k-GenestealerCults-Weapons}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]]
{{40k-Chaos-Weapons}}

2S1 Carnation

2019-01-21T23:46:30Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* IRL */

[[File:Carnation.jpg|right|300px|thumb|Bang Bang]]
{{Topquote|Mother like she belches shell;<br>Glorious it flies, and well,<br>As, with a hissing screaming squall,<br>A roaring furnace, giving all,<br>she sears a path for the infantry….”|leksandr Tvardovskiy, from the poem “Vasily Tyorkin” 1943}}

The '''2S1 Gvozdika''' or "'''Carnation'''" in English, is a self-propelled Howitzer, fielded by the Soviet army. Unlike traditional heavy artillery pieces, the 2S1 uses the hull of an APC as it's chassis (the MT-LB), affording it amphibious capabilities. It is also fully sealed and comes with an array of sophisticated optics, allowing it to operate in NBC or any other hazardous environment without risk to the crew. The vehicle is used by a variety of former-Soviet states and it's Communist allies.

The vehicle uses a 122mm howitzer as it's main gun, with a standard maximum range of 15.3 kilometers. It however, does not come with a turret-mounted or co-axial machine gun, making it vulnerable in close combat with infantry.

==In Team Yankee==
[[File:Carnation Stat Card.jpg|left|300px|thumb|Da Stat Card]]
The 2S1 Gvozdika or Carnation is the quintessential Soviet artillery unit that serves as your all-in-one for killing and utility artillery.

Equipped with an AT4 FP 3+ template, a salvo of Gvozdika fire can damage soft-skinned vehicles, but does not spare units with top armour 1 like the Leopard 1 and the AMX-30. While the Acacia is preferable when killing dug-in infantry and the BM-21 is preferable for pinning them, the Gvozdika compromises on both aspects and fills up the middle ground. It won't perform as well as either one, but has the versatility to provide the type of support you need at this precise moment. The Gvozdika is the best option if you need something which fires smoke, with the alternative being heavy artillery pieces like the Acacia and Dana: units which are expensive and should be doing their darnest to kill the enemy, not smoke them to death.

The Gvozdika has 2 frontal armour and 1 above, enough to protect against pesky M113s and mortar based artillery. However, it is still an artillery unit and will die to anything designed to punch through thin armour such as autocannons and light calibre tank guns.

Interestingly, the Gvozdika is one of the only artillery pieces that can actually serve as an assault gun. Used in direct fire, the Gvozdika has slow-firing but can actually fire on the move! The direct fire range is piddly at 24", but has AT21 and FP2+ with HEAT and brutal: enough to ensure that if something is hit, it will (probably) die. While you won't be using this for the most part if you are playing a serious game, treat the Gvozdika as a light tank capable of firing artillery. Should the game ever come to a point where artillery is no longer relevant, Gvozdikas can enter the fray and provide a level of firepower that only tanks can match.

A Gvozdika battery can be taken with 3 or 6 guns at two points per vehicle by the East Germans, Soviets and Poles while the Czechs may purchase a battery of three for 5 points or a battery of six for 10 points.

==IRL==
[[File:Carnation IRL.jpg|right|300px|thumb|Real life Carnations, blooming in the Russian sun.]] While not as impressive as its western counterpart, the [[M109 Paladin]], the 2S1 Carnation saw widespread adoption in the Soviet block, and even saw a few derivatives, such as the 2S34 Hosta which replaced the 122mm howitzer with a 120mm gun-mortar. While it is fully amphibious and comes with armor-piercing rounds, due to its thin skin it wasn't intended for direct combat unless absolutely necessary.

{{Soviet Forces in Team Yankee}}
{{East German Forces in Team Yankee}}
{{Polish Forces in Team Yankee}}
{{Czech Forces in Team Yankee}}
{{Iraqi Forces in Team Yankee}}

[[Category:Vehicles]]

ZSU-57-2

2019-01-19T19:45:48Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* IRL */

The '''ZSU 57-2''' was the first successful post-WW2 SPAAG (self-propelled anti-air gun) designed by the Soviet Union, meant to provide air cover for the Soviet tank brigades from capitalist jets of the 50s and 60s. Nicknamed the 'Sparka' (pair) by the Soviet Union, the vehicle is essentially a T-54 chassis with a pair of 57mm autocannons designed to knock slow flying planes out of the skies, and firing at ground targets with very deadly force.

==In Team Yankee==
Disclaimer: the following is based on 'Fate of a Nation'. Clarifications and more details will be provided with the release of 'Oil Wars'!

The ZSU-57-2 functions as the anti-armour older brother to the Shilka, trading Radar for additional ground range up to 24", AT9, FP 4+ and a ROF of 3/2. Uniquely in Team Yankee, this is one of the only anti-air units whose threat bubble is only good enough for surrounding units and not three-quarters of the table. Unable to touch most helicopters firing ATGMs, its guns are only usable against enemy bombers dropping their load right over your head.

Unlike the Shilka, the ZSU-57-2 has some very deadly weapons when targetting ground vehicles. It automatically penetrates anything with a front armour of two, and IFVs like the Marder will have to roll 5 or better to avoid bailing or burning up. FP4+ may not be the most reliable, but outperforms all autocannons from the [[M247 Sergeant York]]. In terms of raw firepower, the ZSU is deadlier than the [[SA-13 Gopher]] with an additional shot but it lacks the range of its counterpart. Fortunately, using the two of these AA units gives you a very respectable air-cover umbrella with the Gremlins shooting whatever the ZSUs cannot.

The ZSU boasts a front armour of two, sides of one but top armour 0. However, the low range of its 57mm guns means that you should be attacking with this unit as much as possible. Employed as a light tank, it comfortably keeps pace with a company of T-72Ms while providing a respectable level of air cover against aircraft, but leaves them totally vulnerable to NATO choppers.

==IRL==
The ZSU-57-2 had a similar development history to the more famous [[ZSU 23-4 Shilka]], to fill a need for SPAAGs that could hit harder than older machinegun mounts, but the Soviets quickly found the weapon to be lacking due to its lack of search and fire-control radar, inadequate rate of fire, and slow traverse. They were quickly replaced by Shilkas starting in the 1960s. A handful of other countries adopted and then replaced their ZSUs as well, though Chinese-manufactured versions ended up selling relatively well in the Middle East, particularly with new proximity fuse ammunition to turn them into modernized flak cannons. They also saw more limited action in Vietnam and the Yugoslav wars.

{{Iranian Forces in Team Yankee}}
[[Category:Team Yankee]] [[Category:Vehicles]]

Samurai

2019-01-12T01:02:24Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* History */

[[image:Samurai_guy.jpg|thumb|150px|right|Fig. 1.1: A samurai]]
The '''Samurai''' were a warrior class which existed in premodern [[Japan]]. Generally heavy cavalrymen in their most prominent phase of development, the class was largely hereditary and eventually became the main holders of power, Samurai could be thought of as rough analogues to western knights. When referring specifically to a samurai who is in a militant rather than courtly or administrative role, the Japanese preferred to use the term '''bushi'''.

==History==
In the Heian Period (794 to 1185) the Imperial government in Kyoto slowly turned to rely on a type of militarized peasants given special offices by the land holding court nobility to serve as cavalry soldiers in wars of conquest against the people of Northern Honshu and as enforcers against rebels and people late with their taxes (who were often one and the same). As they were full-time fighters, they were generally more reliable than the forced peasant levies which they had been using before. As time went on, these offices became more and more hereditary, with families of Samurai emerging. That said, it would remain possible for a commoner to become a Samurai up until 1600. Indeed, Japan's defacto unifier Oda Nobunaga was quite fond of these promotions and Toyotomi Hideyoshi, Nobunaga's successor, rose from nothing to eventually reach the highest positions.

After the end of the Heian Period, central power broke down and local leaders took power. In this time of division, the Samurai became the main fighters in war as well as leaders of soldiers (both Samurai and Ashigaru [peasant infantry]) on the battlefield and eventually as political leaders as well, founding powerful clans whose lords (Daimyo) ruled over fiefdoms and vied for power with each other. Several clans would attain the position of Shogun (the hereditary supreme military commander and defacto monarch of Japan) for the next few centuries, but their rule was generally weak and broke down into more infighting, especially in the 15th and 16th century.

Eventually, order was restored under the Tokugawa Shogunate, in which the land was divided among various prominent samurai clans and lower ranking samurai served as policemen, bureaucrats, and public officials. The Tokugawa also imposed a formalized hereditary class system and made it basically impossible for a non-samurai to become a samurai. After the Boshin War (1868-1869) and the subsequent Meiji Restoration, the Samurai class was formally abolished with the rest of the Japanese feudal system. In government, samurai were replaced by non-hereditary civil servants and in military affairs they were replaced by a new conscript army. While some samurai resented the loss of their power and attempted to rebel, the majority of them were able to exploit their superior education and connections and found new positions as teachers, gun makers, industrialists, military officers, and government officials. (Related historical factoid; with the abolition of the Samurai class, many of the swordsmiths who served them had to find new careers, [[wikipedia:Japanese_kitchen_knife#Production|with many turning to knife-making]]. Remember that next time you buy a quality Japanese knife, [[Awesome|you literally own something descended from Japan's finest swordsmiths]])

== Samurai Weapons and equipment ==
[[image:Teppo.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Samurai were very fond of these]]
*''Yumi'': Composite bows made of bamboo. The first Samurai were mainly archers and archery would remain a very big part of samurai fighting. both as mounted archers and on foot.
*''Yari'': [[Spear]]s, usually used to fend off cavalry and as lances. Some had pronged heads, some did not.
*''Kama'': Originally a farming tool, like scythe-shaped sickle, it get the same role [[warhammer]]s did in European warfare, or more accurately an eastern-European chekan, since it had no hammer side for bashing skulls, and it's beak was bladed. While it was mostly associated with ninjas, Samurai were also fond of it, and even get the two-handed version - ''Nagikama'' when metallic armour become widespread even amongst ashigaru, and rich samurai clad themselves in bullet-proof imported Spanish plate.
*''Naginata'': [[Pole-arm]]s with a sword blade at the end. In general, it was better against infantry than a spear and better against cavalry than a sword. It also had a more powerful slash, even if it did have more of a risk of being decapitated. Female samurai in particular favored this weapon, as its long reach allowed them to compensate for any disadvantage they might have had in raw strength. In Samurai weddings the appropriate wedding gift for the family of the bride to give the happy couple was a Naginata.
*''[[Firearm|Tanegashima]]'': in 1543, some Portuguese ships got to Japan in search of business opportunities (specifically the Island of Tanegashima). When they got to Japan, they sold a few of their matchlocks muskets to a Daimyo in the south of Japan, who promptly had his smiths take them apart and soon had them replicated, which inspired others to do the same. The Samurai quickly became very keen on these new weapons and made heavy use of them. By the end of the 16th century Japan had the highest number of guns per capita of any place in the world, had good line fire tactics and had worked out sights and boxes to keep rain from putting out the matches. Matchlock pistols (''bajōzutsu'') were used by cavalry. During the Tokugawa period, the manufacturing Japan declined (though it did not completely die away) as there was no pressing internal or external threats, so they stuck with what designs they had until the 19th century when they began buying and replicating western guns. A major reason for Imperial Victory in the Boshin War was that that the Samurai had control the key gun making regions sided with the Imperialists.
*''[[Sword]]'': <s>[[Katanas are Underpowered in d20| Their katanas of destruction]]</s> Several varieties, including no-dachi (huge blades intended for anti-cavalry work with a blade up to 180cm long to cut through rider and horse), wakizashi (a short sword with a 30-60cm long blade often used either as a last ditch weapon or ritual suicide, but could also be wielded alongside a katana) and katana (the general purpose sword between 60 and 90 cm long). Originally their blades were straight, but eventually became single edged and curved. The iron ore in Japan has a high level of impurities, as such Japanese swordsmiths worked out a method of folding and refolding steel during forging to work out impurities. This made them rather sharp and fairly strong, though they were also fairly brittle and not the best weapons for use against heavier armor like metal plates. Additionally, samurai swords were more a symbol of their position and authority than the super death weapon romantics would insist (soft armor like silk and leather held no real resistance though). This is because after the unification of Japan the array of swords samurais carry were reserved to their class alone, no other class may carry the arrangement of swords samurais carry. This is why samurai normally carry out their popularized duels using their swords than their full arsenal; it is a matter of their class' honor than it being the ultimate weapon. In actual combat, however, the swords were normally reserved as backup weapons or were used against lightly armored targets, since they have long learned that poking their opponents to death with pointy sticks and/or shooting them with guns were more pragmatic options against other Samurai. It was also the go to weapon to execute people.
[[image:Samurai armor.jpg|thumb|200px|left|Samurai Armor, those dents were made by musket bullets]]
*''Armor'': Several varieties existed, including chainmail, scale armor, lamellar (Small plates of metal held together by wire), laminated high quality wood, leather and eventually metal plate. Often suits of samurai armor would incorporate several types of armor, having laminar leg and shoulder guards with plate torso armor. Generally this would be backed up with leather and padded silk (silk having a high tensile strength, which meant that it offered above average protection against arrows) and would often be laminated to keep off rust. Towards the end of the 16th century, western elements (such as western style breastplates and morion style helmets) were incorporated into this, either being bought from European merchants or made locally. In general it was fairly good for its time period, sometimes even being proofed against musket fire, though it did not offer the same degree of coverage as contemporary European counterparts and often sacrificed protection for speed and agility.
* [[Shuriken]]: Yes, samurai used these too.

== Female Samurai ==
As the Samurai gradually became a formalized hereditary class the term came to apply to both men and women from samurai families. The daughters of Samurai clans were like their brothers trained to fight so they could literally hold the fort while the men were off on campaign, to help train up the next generation and to protect themselves and their kids in an era of warring clans. The general term for a Female Samurai under arms is Onna Bushi (woman warrior).

== Ashigaru ==
[[image:Ashigaru.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Ashigaru: Because even a Honorable Samurai Warrior needs a helping hand now and again]]
As previously mentioned the Samurai were not alone during their day, backing them up would be Ashigaru. The practice began with Samurai bringing along a few peasants (either volunteers or conscripted levies) with some basic weapons (usually Yari) to help them out on and off the battlefield as infantry and offering them a cut of the loot and the prospects of promotion in society as incentives. As time went on and wars became more common, this practice continued and was gradually refined. Since the various clans of japan were in close proximity to each other some degree of military training became the norm for many peasants while organization improved, while samurai began investing in armor and better weapons for their Ashigaru, as well as better organization and training. By the 1500s, Ashigaru generally had some metal torso armor and a helmet and had been refined into professional soldiers that could be employed as pikemen and musketeers that, while not as good at fighting as Samurai were still capable of holding the line pretty damn well. Many Samurai clans had their start with a Ashigaru who managed to impress his superiors on the battlefield and eventually there was a hazy grey area between well armed ashigaru and poor samurai. When the Tokugawa Shogunate was established the Ashigaru military class was abolished with the remaining Ashigaru either being integrated into the samurai class or demobilized and sent back to the fields to be farmers.

== Bushido ==

In general samurai (or at least those who got somewhere besides an early grave) were an opportunistic, pragmatic and practical lot. Doing what was needed to be done to win and go forward and often quite innovative in how they did it. Even so, they did not want their subordinates to be a bunch of unruly armed drunken louts, a hazard to themselves and others. As such they were generally instructed to follow Buddhist and Confucian teachings and (especially for the latter) loyalty to one's superiors was a key part in this. Eventually you got rough codes of conduct emerging for samurai called Bushido (Way of the Samurai), which stressed (along with loyalty) frugality, honesty, duty and the importance of conducting their tasks and affairs in a proper manner. As is the case with other people elsewhere some Samurai were more pious than normal and some of these spent time as Buddhist Monks.

During the 1920s through the end of World War II, this rough philosophy would be blown out of proportion and mixed with a heaping dose of nationalism, at which point it became a big part of the standard school curriculum. This was done because the generals who controlled Japan at that time sought a militarized society to crank out fanatical conscripts to conquer China and East Asia with. This manifested in fanatical loyalty, a willingness to die for their cause, and utter contempt for anyone who ever surrendered. When modern people think of Bushido in the west, they are usually thinking of this, or at least a cleaned up version of it [[Grimdark|as the Imperial Japanese Army could be a rather nasty lot to say the least]].

== Fictional Treatments ==

Like other "real world" things, the samurai has had a rich fictional history grow up around it in modern times that is only marginally connected to the historical realities of feudal Japan. Like the [[knight|knight-errant]] of Medieval romances or the [[gunslinger]] of American westerns, the fictional samurai of the ''jidai-geki'' period drama is often a ronin or "wave man," an old derogatory term for a masterless samurai, who wanders the Earth bringing peace and order to a chaotic world by cutting down evil in a series of sword-battles as sensational as they are unrealistic. Bonus points if he gets tragically shot down by a wuss with a [[firearm]], tearfully marking the end of an era as he heroically perishes while saving the day. Sure, it might not be 100% historically accurate, but do you really give a shit? Or do you want to see a badass hero solo an army with his super-sword skills?

== Tabletop RPGs ==

Samurai are a prominent fixture in just about any fantasy setting with an "ancient Japan" derivative somewhere in the world, which is to say that they're a prominent fixture in just about any fantasy setting.

In [[Dungeons and Dragons]], the samurai was introduced as a class in the ''[[Oriental Adventures]]'' supplement of [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]] 1st edition. It never really caught on. Then, it was re-introduced in third edition. To make a long story short, it sucked. Later, under the quasi-D&D system of [[Pathfinder]], the samurai class became a tweaked variant of the [[Cavalier]] class, which, in addition to making sense (the cavalier class is basically a mounted [[knight]], and samurai were basically the Japanese equivalent) also makes them mechanically playable. One archetype, the sword saint, is more in line with the traditional fantasy samurai, who forgoes his mounted class features for lightning-quick draw-fighting and other melee powers that let him [[awesome|cause a sonic boom every time he quick-draws someone to death]].

[[Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition]] gave D&D its most competent samurai ever in the form of a [[Fighter]] subclass in November 2016. It's essentially a super-tank, as it can give itself temporary hitpoints and advantage on all of it attacks as a bonus action for a turn three times per short rest, proficiency on Wisdom saving throws (which changes to your choice of Int or Cha saves if you've already got that power), can trade advantage on a combat strike to instead strike that target twice once per turn, and can delay taking damage that would reduce it to zero hitpoints until the end of an immediately gained bonus turn once per long rest. Oh, and it also gets to add its Wisdom modifier to its Charisma modifier when making Charisma checks to please or persuade those of high social rank along with either a bonus language or free proficiency in either History, Insight or Persuasion. Appropriate, given that the samurai were courtiers and nobility as well as warriors.

Outside the gigantic D&D juggernaut, most of the player characters in [[Legend of the Five Rings]] are going to be samurai of one stripe or another, though unlike D&D it refers to the entire social class, including courtiers and sorcerer-priests along with the warriors.

Appropriately enough, the Japanese RPG [[Log Horizon]] has Samurai as one of it's 11 base classes.

{{D&D3-Classes}}
{{Pathfinder-Classes}}

== See also ==
* [[Rising Sons]]: Samurai Space Marines
* [[Elder Scrolls|The Blades]]: The former protectors of the Emprah, who also hunting dragons with [[Katanas are Underpowered in d20|samurai sword]].
* [[Samurai Jack]]: A FOOLISH SAMURAI THAT WIELD A MAGIC SWORD MADE OUT OF PURE GOODNESS AGAINST AKU, THE SHAPESHIFTER OF DARKNESS, THE MASTER OF MASTER, THE SHOGUN OF SORROW.

[[Category:History]] [[Category: Legend of the Five Rings]]

Pirate

2019-01-12T00:51:45Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Famous Pirates */

{{Topquote|Yar har, fiddle di dee, Being a pirate is all right with me, Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free, You are a pirate!|LazyTown}}
{{Topquote|Oi! You'z lot! You'z part of my crew now. Any problemz with dat, you talk to da complaintz department. Dat'z me gun, by da way.|[[Bluddflagg|Kaptain Bluddflag]]}}
[[File:Pirate.png|300px|thumb|right|A pirate captain. The lack of limbs and eye just shows how hardcore he is.]]
Pirates are scavenging sea bandits that raid and loot anyone on their sight. Despite being the seaborn equivalent of muggers, they are a far more glamorous cultural icon. They were known to be pretty cool for having a ship with black skeleton flag, as well as being badass as fuck for fighting heavily armed navy on daily basis (or so the legend goes; while there were a number of impressive battles, pirates preferred easier marks like unprotected merchant convoys). Sadly, it isn't a profession with the best long-term benefits since they would most likely be hanged by the navy or died of scurvy. But if they did succeed, like hell they will be famous and feared by everyone as soon as anybody saw their pirate flag and run the fuck away.

Pirates, despite being a band of misfits, were quite varied. In real life they were cutthroats and bandits with ships, while during later ages in fiction they were romanticized as something of a concept of freedom despite their infamy. In all cases, pirates are well known thanks to modern pop-culture depictions as anarchistic and anti-governmental. They opposed the oftentimes brutal authoritarian life in the navy and wanted to live out their own lives without anyone bugging in. The reasons were many and this resulted in pirates to be (ironically) closer to the modern establishment. While in Europe kings and queens ruled through an absolutist system of rule, pirates had something akin to modern democracy (the crew choose a new captain from among themselves by voting). While slavery was normal and nations fought each-other, pirates did not care about any of this since a pirate crew could be multi-national and include slaves among their ranks. In fact, equality was normal among pirates and slaves saw this as one of the few ways to feel free and equal. Pirates did not discriminate. They took in everyone who wanted to join (or not). One particularly famous example was the Brethren of the Coast, a coalition of pirates and privateers who operated in the Caribbean.

This kind of lifestyle is what attracted writers who presented pirates in a romanticized way, as misfits who seek out a life of freedom. On the other hand they were portrayed in a more favorable light as anti-heroes. This has some basis in truth, as some pirates began their careers as legitimate privateers in the service of their king until political winds changed. Others were genuine legends whose stories impress readers to this day.

TL;DR piracy is fucking awesome.

==Famous Pirates==
*'''Edward Teach''' - Better known as Blackbeard, one of the original Golden Age pirates known for his intimidation tactics. His ''nom de guerre'' came from the fact that he used to put gunpowder in his beard and set it off to give himself a terrifying appearance. Also because how often he let his victims live to talk about it. He died in battle, [[awesome|being shot at least twice and slashed around 20 times before he had his neck slashed.]]

*'''Henry Avery''' - The most successful (and mysterious) pirate in history. How successful? He was named the king of pirates after looting the Mughal Emperor's treasure fleet, which was worth £52 million today. Shortly after, though, he vanished. Neither he nor his treasure was seen again. Some vidya speculate that he went on to found the pirate utopia of [[wikipedia:Libertatia|Libertalia]] in Madagascar.

*'''Anne Bonny and Mary Read''' - Two of the most famous female pirates. Here they get one entry as they have fairly similar life stories: born in destitution, were disguised as boys early on in their lives, moved to the Carribean where they took up piracy, and both became the lovers of Calico Jack, while becoming renowned pirates in their own right. Despite their eventual capture, they only avoided execution because both were pregnant (although [[Grimdark|Mary died of a fever while in prison]] while Anne's fate is now unknown, with her either being released after giving birth to her child or also dying in prison), though that didn't stop them from [[awesome|fighting off their captors alone and then telling off Calico Jack for being a cowardly drunk]].

*'''Sir Francis Drake''' - The best illustration that the line between regular merchant, pirate, privateer and genuine military officer could be very tenuous at times. A full account of his long career can be found elsewhere, but let us just say that he started his career as a regular merchant occasionally getting rowdy with the Portuguese and the Spanish, then realized looting them for silver and gold was profitable and he became a full-fledged (and endorsed) raider. He was so good at liberating riches from them that he was awarded a knighthood by Queen Elizabeth, then later offered the post of vice-Admiral of the Navy when the Spaniards became fed up with the Anglos raiding them and spectacularly failed at trying to get even. Also something about circumnavigating the Earth (Magellan would've been first had he survived the trip) but who cares, it's not piratey enough.

* '''William Adams''' - Served under Drake for long enough to get the title. More famous for going to [[Japan]] and becoming one of the few foreign-born [[Samurai]]. How's that for [[Multiclassing]]?

== Types of Pirate ==
[[File:Piratepainting.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Why do we bury our treasure? Why don't we spend it? On nice things? Or things we like?]]

'''Buccaneers''' - The classic, the archetype, the most iconic of all pirates that feature in almost in every media. From 1650 to 1720, empires like France and England wanted to develop their own colonial empires in the Caribbean. Problem was, the Spanish got there first, and at the time they had the most powerful navy. However, they also had massive treasure fleets, so the English began paying privateers to raid the Spanish whenever they were at war; but as soon as the war ended, there was a surplus of heavily armed ships that decided to turn pirate to stay in business. And with the ever-growing sea trade, piracy was the norm, especially when some colonial governors encouraged this behavior with an unofficial policy of "no peace past the line." The archetypal pirate captain is known for wearing eye patches, owning a pet parrot, and having a hook for an arm and a peg leg, which shows that this guy is a badass when he lost most of his limbs yet is still able to fight. They are also known for having a black skeleton flag, named the Jolly Roger (see above) while sailing a ship with a fuck load of cannons (if they are rich enough). In regards to the popular legend of successful pirates burying their treasure; this wasn't done out of some odd ritual or anything grand. They did this for insurance (and even then, only did it sparingly): in the event that they were captured, they'd use their hidden loot as a bargaining chip to prevent them from proverbially (and sometimes literally) walking the plank. This didn't work all the time, as the captors either couldn't be bribed or didn't buy the story. Still, the mystique of a lost and forgotten treasure trove just waiting to be discovered made for great stories in taverns full of adventurers, so legends about buried treasure persisted throughout the centuries in fictional writing.

'''Privateers''' - Not pirates per se, but many pirates started out as privateers. These were privately owned Armed Mechantmen who were employed by their home country to raid enemy supply lines (or in rare cases, rival nations that are not at war). Typically a privateer carried "Letters of Marque and Reprisal" to show the legality of their actions; it was only if they stepped outside the bounds of the letter or otherwise lost it that they'd become pirates. Even then, enemy nations would sometimes ignore the letters of marque (not without justification, since letters would often be rendered invalid or else forged easily enough to fool the illiterate) and hang captured crews as pirates instead of kept as prisoners of war.

'''[[Vikings]]''' - Scandinavian pirates with badass beards. Despite common depictions, their helmets did not have horns. Existed long before the Caribbean pirates, and they sure made themselves famous all over medieval Europe. They are also responsible for being the ancestors of 90% of the Caucasians thanks to their continent wide rape-demic.

'''Corsairs''' - Also known as Barbary pirates. They mainly came from North Africa and most of their attacks were focused on capturing slaves rather than stealing loot. Nations could avoid having their ships attacked if they paid a steep tribute to the Barbary states; it wasn't until the early 19th century that Western nations decided to fuck that noise and steamrolled them (This steamrolling is the source of "The Shores of Tripoli" in the US Marines' Hymn). Though the term usually refers to pirates in service to specific nations.

'''Modern Pirates''' - [[Grimdark|Mostly just poor 3rd world uneducated Somalians who were survivors of the Somalian civil war.]] They are not exactly primitive uneducated however, since some of them were former fishermen who had knowledge about the sea, war veterans who specialize in weaponry as well as technical experts who operates on electronic devices like GPS devices, [[Freebooterz|but they are still too green]] when compare to the [[Imperial Navy|actual navy]], not to mention the days when any wannabe pirate could find a merchant ship, arm her with some cannons and then go toe-to-toe with a genuine military ship have ''long'' since past. They are armed with many modern-day weapons from assault rifles to rocket launchers that were salvaged from the conflict. They raid the Gulf of Aden and Indian Ocean using just skiffs and can travel hundreds of miles from home to hold commercial ships hostage for steep ransoms. They tend to be on the skinny side due to the lack of food and health care and they are not fun and games because of that, since most of them just want to survive and they had to turn to piracy when they have no choice due to the terrible living condition in a typical post-war African country.

'''Internet Pirates''' - Hackers who "illegally" download foreign internet goods like manga scan, anime, books or newly released video games for free (though sometimes they do hack, acquire and release data that shady corporations want to hide or make certain douches pay for their crimes like Anonymous does from time to time). As technology advanced and the invention of 3D printer came along, the "pirate" is able to download miniature blue prints for 3D printers. TAKE THAT [[Games Workshop| GAMES WORKSHOP]].

== Fictional Pirates ==
'''Swashbucklers''' - The Noblebright side of the Fantasy pirate coin. These guys are basically buccaneers who seek adventure and right wrongs. They may be exiled princes or other political fugitives forced into a life of outlawry. They are also masters of swordplay and trickery; so basically they're more akin to musketeers or Zorro, but with ships of their own. Think of Dread Pirate Roberts from the Princess Bride or Captain Blood.

'''Dread Pirates''' - The [[Grimdark]] side of the Fantasy Pirate coin. Not to be confused with the legend that Dread Pirate Roberts cooked up for himself; these guys are the real deal. Take a buccaneer and mix in the supernatural or even eldritch. This type of Pirate frequently appears as the antagonist in the Pirates of the Carribean movies. See Ghost Pirates for a specific subset below.

'''Space Pirates''' - You know pirates, BUT IN SPACE! A seemly possible concept where ships have solar sails with FTL engine and they sails in void of space instead of ocean. Since space has no oxygen, pirates had to wear concealed power armor to board ships in order to loot and plunder. In some indie games like FTL, the crew can use teleportation device to board enemy ship without space suit, the same goes to the lighting strike ability in battlefleet gothic armada. And instead of making you walk the plank, they'll just throw you out the airlock!

'''Ghost Pirates''' - it is said if some pirates are too badass to die, they become ghost and continue to terrorize ships for fun. Some said it was the caused of some voodoo curses, other thinks they are just too tough to stay in hell. These dead pirate sail in their seemly broken pirate ship crawling with Moses and maggots and it is seemly indestructible from any cannon fire. [[Vampire Counts|SPOOOOOKYYY]].

'''[[Airship Pirates]]''' - [[AWESOME|Piracy in the sky with steampunk technology]]. They'll still say "Yarr!" and "Avast!" but their clothing is decidedly more Victorian instead of Baroque, with lots of goggles and brass thrown in. [[Kharadron Overlords|Let's not forget the short legged version]] for [[Age of Sigmar]]. There is exactly ONE example of airship piracy in history: when the German Zeppelin L23 captured a Norwegian schooner during the first world war. An instance of an airship ''privateer'' '''may''' have existed with the U.S. World War II blimp Resolute, which was reported in 1946 to have been the last use of the United State's power to issue a letter of marque, but no record of this mark being issued exists.

'''Warhammer Fantasy Pirates''' - A lot of pirates tend to operate either in the seas near Tilea or around Lustria, where there's always opportunities for gold-hungry adventurers (though death is also a high probability due to disease or dismemberment by dinosaurs). There's several different varieties:

* Most famously are the [[Warriors of Chaos|Norscans]] being the fantasy equivalent of Vikings, in that they like to wreck the Empire's shit by raiding their border and would also took the opportunity to explore the new world for plunder and destruction in the name of their gods. The Skaeling tribe in particular is famed for their seafaring. [[Wulfrik the Wanderer]] uses a magic longship to teleport anywhere he wants to go to wreck some fools.

*[[Dark Elf]] Corsairs using Black Arks (which are city-sized FLYING ships) in their raids and like to take captives hostage to be sold into slavery. [[Lokhir Fellhart]] is a famous example, who likes to wear Cthulhu-looking mask that he likely looted from Lizardmen.

*The [[Zombie Pirates]] were a White Dwarf army list under the leadership of [[Luthor Harkon]], who formerly worked for [[Abhorash]] before striking out on his own for Lustria and establishing his own goddamn kingdom called the Vampire Coast. And with all the dead bodies of unfortunate sailors, he's got plenty of recruiting opportunities. Another undead admiral operating in the area is Captain Noctlis of the [[Dreadfleet]], a Von Carstein vampire who teleported his entire freaking castle into the Galleon Graveyard.

*There are also the Sartosan Pirates of the Principality of Sartosa (aka: AN ENTIRE NATION OF PIRATES) that lies south of Tilea. One of the most famous Sartosan pirates is the sea mutant [[Aranessa Saltspite]], rumored to be the daughter of the sea god himself.

'''[[Warhammer 40K]] Pirates''' - Ranging from [[Red Corsairs|chaos worshiper]], [[Dark Eldar|sadistic spiky ear slave trader]], [[Prince Yriel|cunning spiky ear glass cannon]] and the fucking [[Freebooterz|orks]], they are all badasses. [[Rogue Traders]] probably count as pirates too, but they are first and foremost explorers of the imperium (otherwise is [[HERESY]] and would probably be anally raped by inquisitions ship's nova cannon, or an [[exterminatus|cyclonic torpedo]]) but of course, unless they were pillage and plunder a xeno ship, is fine lol. For /tg/ brewed 40K pirates, see [[Black Locks]] who are both pirates and [[Space Marines]].

'''[[Manga|One Piece]]''' - As the pirate king, Gold Roger, was executed, he told everyone that he hid his treasure at the ass-end of the world, kickstarting a golden age of piracy! Some are using this chance to amass riches or oppress the weak, others just want to be free from the dictatorial World Government. The world is vast and uncharted, people get anime superpowers by eating cursed fruit or training really hard, and there exist sea monsters that are bigger than your ship. [[Fun|Have fun]]!

'''[[Samus|Space Pirates from the Metroid Series]]''' - while not being human and lacking the Caribbean pirate stereotype, [[Rak'gol|they are aliens that like to raid and destroy vessels while trying to be the biggest of dicks to every other species, especially the Federation]]. They are led by Mother Brain with Ridley, a species of cyborg/gargoyle/dragon alien being their military commander. They all got shit on by [[Samus]] unfortunately...non-stop.

==Worldbuilding And Moral Considerations==

===Morality===
How evil a Pirate in a given setting defaults to has a few inputs that are worth considering:

* [[Slavery]] is a big one. If the people they're raiding practice slavery and the pirates don't, that's a very serious point in the favor of the Pirate (in fact, it was exactly this moral ambiguity that gave the Buccaneers what good press they had). If it's the other way around (slave raiders on free peoples), the resulting pirates are probably evil villains, full stop.
* How badly they treat captured crews. If they let them go once they've robbed the cargo holds, they probably are considered more "moral" than if they kill or enslave anybody who sees them. (Hostage taking may or may not count for this purpose; if it's purely for ransom, it's in a gray area, with the shade depending on how well the hostage is treated.)
** Enforced enrollment in the pirate crew is on the evil side, and also somewhat on the stupid side--having a bunch of people who don't want to be there as crew on a ship is usually a bad idea when mutiny is a problem.
* How badly non-pirate sailors are treated by their captains: when the Navy press-gangs and keelhauls their crew, a pirate ship is easily seen as a bastion of freedom in contrast.
* [https://youtu.be/XaWU1CmrJNc Pirates who don't do anything] are a thing in media. As they don't do the pirate thing, they usually don't count as pirates.
* How prone they are to mutiny is also a consideration; although any pirate crew is liable to mutiny, the causes of said mutiny can be important in determining morality. If you're sailing under Bill the Bastard has random crewmen flogged and branded for looking at him funny, stealing his hat while he's wearing it and original sin while never giving out a fair cut of the pay and hogging all the Grog from himself, mutiny is an extreme if understandable response.
* What do they spend their plunder on. Most pirates spend their booty on upkeep of their ship, cannons, guns, swords, booze, food, fancy things and, well, Booty. But some will also spend it on their families while others decide to give some of it to an orphanage or school or something in their home port.
* Privateers, mentioned above, are usually considered more "moral" than their freelancing counterparts. ''Usually''.

Note that multiple kinds of Pirates can exist in a given setting, each with their own niche in the Alignment Chart (Even Lawful Good, Neutral Good and Lawful Neutral depending on where you draw the line between lawful navy executing 'commerce raiding' and piracy), although given the nature of Piracy, only a few Privateers will be Lawful of any kind.

===Worldbuilding Considerations===

The big one: Pirates need a safe port of some kind to operate (ships require a lot of maintenance that can only be done when at rest, and the pirates need to be able to sell or trade their captured goods). This has many subtle implications, with a few possibilities:

* The Pirates are effectively sponsored by some port. This implies either full state sponsorship of some kind, or a state that effectively doesn't care about their raiding, usually because the Pirates in question only target the enemies of whoever owns the port.
* The Pirates are disguising where their goods are coming from. This is harder then it sounds, as ships are usually easily identified, and any port that cares about contraband will almost certainly be interested in the origins of whatever goods are coming into it.
* Pirates who figure they can operate their own port are usually faced with the fact that most of the people who engage in piracy are not exactly reliable sorts, which is what is desperately needed in order to have a functioning port.

Further, you need to have cargo worth capturing. A lot of stuff that gets shipped is very hard to sell, not just because it is the proverbial "hot goods", but because it is effectively worth money only to the right buyer (who is usually in one of those ports that care about contraband). You need something that is both valuable, and a commodity. (Historically, sugar qualified, as did tobacco and other luxury goods; of particular interest here is exotic pets, such as monkeys and, yes, parrots.) This acts as a further constraint, unless you have a port that is strongly sponsoring the Pirates, to point of knowingly paying for stolen goods.

For a nation whose government is fairly loose and rudimentary, the distinction between "Pirate", "Honest Trader" and "Navy" is sometimes difficult to make. Many pirates would prefer to go after foreign prey rather than people from their home ports. A down on his luck merchant captain might try to steal the stuff from a rival ship from a rival country if the choice is "make a profit, pay the crew, eliminate some of the competition and live to sail another day" or "starve to death/have a mutiny for unpaid wages/have the ship founder for disrepair/go bankrupt". Privateer work was common in times of war when said actions got sanctioned and sometimes a merchantman could have a few extra guns put on her and be made into a ghetto warship.

To complicate matters even further, even powerful and well-organized nations like France and England had 'prize money' laws in place that made capturing enemy vessels and their cargo a very attractive prospect: any ship captured at sea and its cargo became ''de jure'' property of the crown, but the king would generously compensate the crews with money/valuables once the prize was brought in. On top of that it wasn't uncommon at all for the winner of a naval engagement to quietly enroll any surviving sailor to replace losses and/or keep manning their now captured ship, no matter their nationality; so even a 'national' crew from an 'official' Navy ship could sound like a weird mix of freebooters hauling their capture in when coming into port.

If you get enough pirates in an area, they might come together and found a town. It starts off in some place with a natural harbor to shelter in storms and repair their ships between fights. Then crews begin swapping stuff if one of them has a surplus of gunpowder and the other has a surplus of food and similar. A couple of guys are left behind from each crew (as well as captives) to collect timber, first when it's expected that there will be some damage taken in the near future and latter more regularly around a growing logging camp. A couple of docks go up to make things go more smoothly, as does a forge or two and a couple of vegetable gardens. Then some enterprising pirate cobbles together a pub, selling plundered Beer, Grog and Rum to passing pirates and shore-side workers at first and soon enough is brewing there own, especially when a few full fledged farms get going to provide produce. Soon enough the Pub has some prostitutes and by extension some bastards. Workshops gradually come together and more and more of the population becomes permanent. Soon you get a thriving and lively if disorderly and dangerous new settlement, which eventually settles down into a more quiet and businesslike place much to the chagrin of old timers who miss the gold old days of loose women, hearty songs, exciting brawls and the odd knifings which made things dangerous and interesting.

==See Also==
*[[Dreadfleet]]
*[[Man O' War]]

[[Category:History]]

High Middle Ages

2019-01-08T01:24:03Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28:

Around the year 1000 the people in Western Europe began to get their shit together and moved out of the [[Dark Age]]s. The economy steadily improve and cities began to grow again. Though no single state had risen to unify Europe since the Carolingian Empire, individual kingdoms had risen to replace the old tribal confederations (though feudalism was still the rule of the day), allowing for a degree of political stability, and with it, trade networks. Skills were honed, new technologies were acquired. Some of these were brought in from the east such as gunpowder, giant hamster wheel powered cranes and paper but others were developed locally such as stained glass and an increasingly wide use of water power. Gothic architecture emerged as Cathedrals reached to the sky. Slavery had been abandoned in much of Europe while trade in the Mediterranean became more and more profitable. The Crusades also happened at this time.

Unfortunately the good times did not last as the 14th century was a bit of a doozy. First there was famine, which is never a nice thing. Then in 1346 there was the Black Death which wiped out about a third of the people in Europe with some areas getting hit worse than others. However, the tradeoff was that peasants, being in lower supply, were now more valuable and could now earn wages to lift themselves out of serfdom and earn some (very basic) rights.

== Notes ==
* This time also largely lines up with the Islamic Golden Age, in which the Islamic world was doing very well and advancing in terms of science, mathematics (there's a reason why they call them Arabic Numerals), technology, art and trade with Baghdad being a center of learning. At least until the [[Mongolian Empire|Mongol]]s came and trashed up a lot of the Middle East.
* This is the high points of chivalry, when an Armored Knight on Horseback had been refined into a truly devastating force.
* [[Cannon]]s and [[Firearm]]s begin to show up in Europe around the late 13th century, though both were crude affairs.
== The appeal of the High Middle Ages ==
How do you like your medieval fantasy? Do you like it more refined and heroic? With beautiful Gothic cathedrals with stained glass windows and mighty castles of stone with fluttering banners full of fat friars and proud knights. Well this period is for you. Not that it was all lolipops and sunshine. The nobles were still playing their Games of Thrones in dynastic squabbles and there were the Crusades. Being a serf or a jew in the path of these armies at this time sucked. The mix of [[Bretonnia|Medieval Splendor and Brutality]] makes for a nice contrast.

This period also gave us some heroes such as Robin Hood. And though King Arthur has his roots in the Dark Age when the native British were fighting against the invading Saxons, his popularity massively took off thanks to Norman literature and adapted by countless countries across Europe.

== High Middle Age inspired Games, Factions and Settings ==

fill me
{{Skub}}
{{Time Periods}}
[[Category: History]]

Historical References

2019-01-08T01:14:35Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28:

This is a hub page for all of our pages on history. This is useful for DMs who want to bring a little more realism into their games, or else look for inspiration by finding some lesser-known feature or weapon that they can use. Or maybe you just want to educate yourself because history is really damn interesting.

Here we've got everything organized by category, so if you have an idea of what you're looking for, click the links below.

==Time Periods==
For a general overview on different points in history, here are some of the major time periods.
*[[Stone Age]]
*[[Bronze Age]]
*[[Classical Period]]
*[[Dark Age]]
*[[High Middle Ages]]
*[[Renaissance]]

==Warfare==
Seeing as how wargaming and hack-n-slashing takes up about 90% of this wiki, you're going to see a lot of references to combat stretching from ancient times to the far future.

===Types of Warriors===
For different flavors of killy people.
*[[Knight]]
*[[Men at Arms]]
*[[Landsknecht]]
*[[Hoplite]]
*[[Samurai]]
*[[Ninja]]
*[[Viking]]
*[[Pirate]]
*[[Gladiator]]

===Small Arms===
For when that motherfucker over there needs to die.
*[[Dagger]]
*[[Sword]]
*[[Spear]]
*[[Lance]]
*[[Polearm]]
*[[Mace]]
*[[Battleaxe]]
*[[Warhammer]]
*[[Bows and Arrows]]
*[[Crossbow]]
*[[Shuriken]]
*[[Sling]]
*[[Firearm]]

===Personal Defense===
For protecting your vulnerable bits from the baddies.
*[[Armor]]
:*[[Mail]]
:*[[Plate armor]]
:*[[Helmet]]
*[[Shield]]

===Siege and Vehicle Warfare===
For when a sword or gun just won't do the job.
*[[Siege Weapon]]
*[[Cannon]]
*[[Rocket]]
*[[Tank]]
*[[Combat Aircraft]]
*[[Warship]]

==Places and People==
For when you want to travel to new and exciting locales and meet (and/or murder) new people.
*[[Roman Empire]]
*[[China]]
*[[Spartans]]
*[[Mongols]]
*[[Nazi]]
*[[British Empire]]

==Other==
For everything else that goes into a setting.
*[[Money]]
*[[Horse]]
*[[Smith]]
*[[Dungeon]]
*[[Guild]]
*[[Castle]]
*[[Slavery]]
*[[Empire]]
*[[Peasant]]
*[[Noble]]

[[Category:History]]

Template:Time Periods

2019-01-08T01:09:33Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28:

<center>
{|border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="margin: 1em; border: 2px solid black;"
|-
! align=center colspan=2 | '''Historical Time Periods'''
|-
| align=right | '''Premodern:''' || [[Stone Age]] - [[Bronze Age]] - [[Classical Period]] - [[Dark Age]] - [[High Middle Ages]] - [[Renaissance]]
|-
| align=right | '''Modern:''' || [[Age of Discovery]] - [[Age of Enlightenment]] - [[Industrial Revolution]] - [[The World Wars]] - [[The Cold War]] - [[Post-Cold War]]
|}
</center>

[[Category:History]]

High Middle Ages

2019-01-08T01:01:36Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28:

Around the year 1000 the people in Western Europe began to get their shit together and moved out of the [[Dark Age]]s. The economy steadily improve and cities began to grow again. Skills were honed, new technologies were acquired. Some of these were brought in from the east such as gunpowder, giant hamster wheel powered cranes and paper but others were developed locally such as stained glass and an increasingly wide use of water power. Gothic architecture emerged as Cathedrals reached to the sky. Slavery had been abandoned in much of Europe while trade in the Mediterranian became more and more profitable. The Crusades also happened at this time.

Unfortunately the good times did not last as the 14th century was a bit of a doozy. First there was famine, which is never a nice thing. Then in 1346 there was the Black Death which wiped out about a third of the people in Europe with some areas getting hit worse than others.

== Notes ==
* This time also largely lines up with the Islamic Golden Age, in which the Islamic world was doing very well and advancing in terms of science, mathematics (there's a reason why they call them Arabic Numerals), technology, art and trade with Baghdad being a center of learning. At least until the [[Mongol]]s came and trashed up a lot of the Middle East.
* This is the high points of chivalry, when an Armored Knight on Horseback had been refined into a truly devastating force.
* [[Cannon]]s and [[Firearm]]s begin to show up in Europe around the late 13th century, though both were crude affairs.
== The appeal of the High Middle Ages ==
How do you like your medieval fantasy? Do you like it more refined and heroic? With beautiful Gothic cathedrals with stained glass windows and mighty castles of stone with fluttering banners full of fat friars and proud knights. Well this period is for you. Not that it was all lolipops and sunshine. The nobles were still playing their Games of Thrones in dynastic squabbles and there were the Crusades. Being a serf or a jew in the path of these armies at this time sucked. The mix of [[Bretonnia|Medieval Splendor and Brutality]] makes for a nice contrast.

This period also gave us some heroes such as Robin Hood.

== High Middle Age inspired Games, Factions and Settings ==

fill me
{{Skub}}
{{Time Periods}}
[[Category: History]]

Renaissance

2019-01-08T00:59:53Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Renaissance inspired Games, Factions and Settings */

The '''Renaissance''' is a period of time and history which had it's origins in the 1300s in Italy and would gradually spread across Christendom and beyond. The word roughly means "rebirth" in English, more specifically it refers to the revitalization of Civilization after the Medieval Period. Various Italian City States gradually grew in wealth and prominence through maritime trade as well as connections with Byzantium and the Middle East and banking. The merchant princes of Italy would invest that wealth to make more money, but also into grand architecture, the arts, literature, engineering and academics ranging from studies of the [[classical period]] to natural philosophy. Things which were seen as noble pursuits in their own right but they were also as signs of wealth and prestige and ways of currying favor with other influential figures ("The Cardinal would be glad to back your bid after your magnificent assistance on the new Cathedral"). Eventually ideas from Italy would begin to spread out and took root elsewhere in Europe. Ciiies once again began to grow, all the while

This was fine and dandy in of itself, but in coincided with other big changes. Kings began to consolidate power for themselves with a mind of keeping the squabbling vassals in line. [[Gun]]s were making an increasing impact on the battlefield. In Spain the Spanish managed to drive the Muslims out of Iberia in the Reconquista and emerged as a new powerful European state. Not too long after that thanks to improvements in ship design and navigation methods Vaso de Gama sailed around Africa to India and latter an Italian guy named Columbus set out sailing west across the Atlantic to prove <s>to the ignorant masses that world was round</s> that you could get to India by circumnavigation without starving to death first and ended up finding the Caribbean, thus beginning the colonization of the New World began by the Spanish and Portuges at first, followed by the French, Dutch and English latter. Add to that some religious upheaval which shook the foundations of Christendom in the form of the likes of Hussites and eventually the start of the Protestant Reformation and you got a turbulent period of upheaval to say the least.

In the east, the Renaissance contains the part of [[Japan]]ese history most people care about. The late Sengoku was heavily influenced by borrowed European technological advancement. In particular Oda Nobunaga would turn the gun into the main weapon of the solider, developing tactics that would be used till the invention of the metallic cartridge.

== Notes ==
* For the average peasant in the Renaissance the changes were as a rule not so great. As far as they were concerned beautiful paintings, fine statuary and magnificent architecture were all well and good and they'd admire them if they had the opportunity to see them but for all of that the grain still needed to be harvested and the cows still needed to be milked just like in their grandfather's day and as their grandchildren would do after they passed.
* Infantry returned to prominence during this period. New weapons such as arbalast crossbows, matchlock arquebuses and pikes played a role in this, as did cheap munitions plate, but more importantly than that armies became more centralized and systematic than the old feudal systems as the beginnings of standing armies began to take shape.
*Feudalism began to decline as the idea of the Nation-State started to take root. Nationalism would become more prominent in the early modern period to coincide with the Enlightenment, but for now modern countries were starting to take shape, as people began to think of their homelamds as distinct cultural-geographic regions instead of the property of ever-changing noble families. At the same time though, this was when the infamous Habsburg family would come to power and control a good chunk of Europe, owning Spain, the Holy Roman Empire, Austria, and all territories owned by those states.
*While many classical texts had been lost in the West, many had been preserved in the East, with some advances in the sciences provided by Muslim scholars. These texts returned to Europe due to increased trade with the East, which started with the Crusades. If you wanted to be educated, you had to be well versed in Greek, Latin (which at this point nobody spoke anymore) and even Arabic.

== The appeal of the Renaissance ==
The Renaissance is the the closing of the middle ages. A lot of it's mechanism were still in place in various forms, but shifts were in place. There were knights in Shining Armor and they were still formidable battering rams, but they were facing new competition from pike squares and arquebusiers in a rather distinctive combo. Chivalry was gradually on the wain even as plate was forged proofed against shot. All the while there was a lot of shrewd political scheming and intrigues. Why mobilize a thousand levies and and a hundred knights to kill someone when a few drops of poison or a well placed stilleto could accomplish the job cheaper and with far less fuss?

At the same time mechanics and engineers were tinkering contriving a wide variety of new machinery. If one was to ascribe a heroic ideal to the Renaissance it would be the Renaissance Man reflected in the likes of Leonardo Da'Vinci, a brilliant Engineer, Scientist and Artist all rolled into one. On the battlefield the men of power were beginning to take notice of these new novelties and so active patronage of inventors was encouraged. At the same time explorers and conquistadors carve their place in history by finding new lands, settling them and conquering [[Bronze Age]] societies. For those who want to see what Da Vinci could’ve accomplished if he was more of a mad scientist (I.e. if his tanks and other war machines were actually built), [[Clockpunk]] has you covered.

In general if you like your medieval fantasy to have a dash of the modern in it, the Renaissance is where you look for ideas. Besides, the stuff associated with this period is frankly pretty.

== Renaissance inspired Games, Factions and Settings ==
* [[The Empire]]
fill me
{{Skub}}
{{Time Periods}}
[[Category: History]]

Dark Age

2019-01-08T00:59:35Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Dark inspired Games, Factions and Settings */

The Western [[Roman Empire]] is generally said to have fallen in 476 CE, which was in of itself part of a long gradual decline as the Empire fell for a wide variety of internal and external reasons which are beyond the scope of this article. The central Government broke down, barbarians tribes such as the Saxons and the Franks and the Goths invaded and took over and many urban centers that grew under Roman rule withered on the vine as their people fled to the countryside and a fair bit of higher learning was lost in Western Europe. For the sake of curating this marked the end of the [[Classical Period]] period which lasted until about 1000 or so called '''The Dark Ages'''.

During this time warlords carved out new kingdoms, handing conquered lands out to their favored warriors as they went who'd tax peasants and used that money to buy [[Mail]] and [[helmet]]s and [[Horse]]s, gradually morphing into the first [[Knight]]s. They also made alliances with the Catholic Church, which arose from the ashes of Rome offering it's services in placating the peasants and doing things that required book learning in exchange for their aide in spreading the faith, a say in the way things were run and various privileges. Around 793 the [[Viking]]s began to show up and would remain an active element for centuries to come. Eventually things gradually stabilized and Europe moved into the [[High Middle Ages]].

== Notes ==
* This is an western European thing. Byzantium, [[China]], India, Persia and the eventually the Islamic Caliphates were on the whole doing pretty well at this time.
* Long story short term "Dark Age" has become rather contentious in recent decades among historians and at the very least it has been judged that people from the Renaissance onward overestimated in how severe the fall was. Many prefer the far less loaded '''Early Medieval Period''' to describe this period of history.
* The real reason we call this period the “Dark Age” is due to the relative lack of writings we have in comparison to the ages coming before and after. Between the high political instability and drop in literacy, the only people making books at this time were monks. That’s not to say it was a total intellectual vacuum; the University was invented in this time period, and would build a network of schools that would really come into prominence once the Renaissance hits.
* There are other periods of time labeled "Dark Ages" such as the Greek Dark Ages between the Late Bronze Age Collapse and the [[Classical Period]].

== The appeal of the Dark Age ==
How do you like your medieval fantasy? Do you like it to be harsher, grittier and cruder side? Then the Dark Ages are a good place to mine for ideas. People in shattered isolated settlements where buildings are rough while a king theoretically reigns but the power lies in the hands of local nobles and knights. Viking raiders on longships searching for gold and thralls raiding who do battle with scruffy knights in dirty scale and maile who are but marginally more civilized than the pagan barbarians that they do battle. Both of which are more likely to preserve their deeds in song than with words. A few monks copying down a few ancient texts that they can not read for future generations. You can even work in a bit of a post apocalyptic vibe with a Dark Age setting, where people build crude wooden fortresses and barn like halls exist alongside the remains of more impressive structures of stone from a now fallen empire. Civilization once stood here and it might do so again, but now is an age of turmoil and the sword.

Not to say that these guys did not have a creative side, this period is tied in with celtic spiral patterns and tapistries.

== Dark inspired Games, Factions and Settings ==
* The Riders of Rohan
fill me
{{Skub}}
{{Time Periods}}
[[Category: History]]

Classical Period

2019-01-08T00:59:17Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* See Also */

In the Mediterranean world/fertile crescent the [[Bronze Age]] is often said to have ended rather abruptly in a massive calamity called The Late Bronze Age Collapse. Advanced civilizations which had cities, written language, mathmatics and fine products were swept away or faced major setbacks rather suddenly around the 12th century BCE. Exactly why this happened is [[skub|a matter of contention]] and probably not just one thing but regardless the result of which was that society took a fair number of steps back. But things bounced back as a new set of civilizations came about, though considerably different ones from what came before in Greece, the Levant and Italy around 800 BCE or so. Thus began the '''Classical Period'''.

The Classical Period is the time of the Greek City States and the [[Rome|Roman Republic and Empire]] and lasted to about the fifth century CE. What started out as a few minor city states here and there grew into civilizations which would flourish in art, philosophy, engineering, architecture, medicine and more. While many of these states would have Kings at various points in their history, there was also a fair deal of experimentation with various forms of elected government. Even as the classical period would come to an end with the fall of the Western Roman Empire.

The Classical Period is firmly the '''Iron Age'''. Iron had been worked before, Meteoric iron had been worked every now and again for thousands of years and occasionally a few skilled craftsmen in the Bronze Age could make a few bits of it even though it was brittle and expensive and mostly used as a sign of status. Near the Bronze Age Collapse the Hittites had begun smelting and working iron on a larger scale for more practical purposes, but it was only after the collapse that Iron Working really became. Iron has a higher melting point than copper the wood fired furnaces of the Bronze Age just were not up to the task of processing it in meaningful amounts. If you make a large tube furnace, feed it coal, iron ore and oxygen with bellows, you can get it hot enough so you can make lumps of semi-molten goo that can be forged. Regular iron was comparable to bronze in quality for many purposes, but unlike bronze which required two rather metals that you often had to trade for iron ore is as common as muck. Even so, bronze still found a fair bit of use well into the classical period. After all, the big deal about Iron Swords is not that they are better than bronze as much as everyone in your army can now have one.

== Notes ==
* This whole deal is a western thing. In [[China]] and India and so forth things were going along their own paths removed from all this.
== The appeal of the Classical Period ==
Frankly the modern world as a serious Boner for this period. The link we have to the Bronze Age cultures is a bit tenuous at best, but The West sees the Greeks and the Romans as our fore bearers. People like the idea of Greek Philosophers discussing and debating the nature of the world and morality, of Romans forging order from chaos, spreading civilization and building magnificent buildings that stand to this day, Athenian Democracy and Spartan military excellence. Of course that view is overly romantic and overlooks the nastier side of the period, from [[slavery]] to rampant xenophobia and sexism (especially with the Greeks) to the fact that this could be a rather brutal period with a lot of pig headed stupidity at the time. Many people have tried to emulate it's better notions and build on them.

It helps that we actually have a fair bit of information about this time from first hand accounts. Historians have to parse through a smattering of tablets and decorations on walls for the Bronze Age, much of which they can't read. In this period we have a good index of this time period, from Greek poems and plays to biographies and histories. This makes filling in the blanks a hell of a lot easier and gives us insights into a lot of different people which means we have a lot of characters to get insights on how people got along back then.

Finally there is something of a mix the modern and the ancient in the Classical Age that you don't get in the medieval period. In Rome people lived in apartment blocks, had sewers to take away their filth, (if they had said status) had a conception of their role in society as citizens with legal rights and listened to political rhetoric and heard satire that's not too different from what someone in a first world country would hear as opposed to how a medieval peasant or knight would. Mind you this stuff existed in a world where slavery was a normal part of life, having criminals fight to the death was seen as prime penology and people sacrificed sheep so that next years' grape crops would yield a prime vintage was a regular part of religious life.
== Classical Period inspired Games, Factions and Settings ==

== See Also ==
* [[Rome]]
* [[Hoplite]]

{{Skub}}
{{Time Periods}}
[[Category: History]]

Bronze Age

2019-01-08T00:58:50Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28:

The '''Bronze Age''' is a period usually marked out by the development of Bronze, an alloy of copper and tin and a period in which human civilization really got going. In the late [[Stone Age]] basic agriculture had been worked out and a few farming communities had emerged. By the Bronze Age these had developed into fairly substantial and sophisticated societies with a high degree of specialization and stratification, complex governments, laws in place of customs and widespread trade networks reaching for thousands of kilometers. Writing and mathematics were developed as tools of governments and were used to build large scale projects. At this time cities grew into the tens of thousands, first as independent city states and latter as empires.

Beyond these early centers of civilization newer agrarian societies would emerge and rise while nomadic pastoral peoples would develop along their own lines and would trade and fight with the more developed civilizations who saw them as [[Barbarians]].

Technically the Bronze Age was preceded by the '''Copper Age''' in which the basics of metalworking were worked out and first applied and which developments were made, but for sake of simplicity on this site it's getting lumped in with the Bronze Age. Bronze Smelting began around 5,700 years ago in the Fertile Crescent and China about the same time and would spread from those two points. Generally speaking, the Bronze Age ended in Fertile Crescent region after the Bronze Age collapse, in which several old civilizations fell or were devastated as new ones as ferrous metallurgy began to catch on. When civilization recovered and rebuilt, [[Classical Period|new ones rose in their place]]. In China the end of the Bronze Age was more gradual and less dramatic. Several Native American civilizations (such as the Incas and the Aztecs) would reach a Bronze Age level of development before the arrival of more advanced Europeans.
== Notes ==
* [[Money]] did not really exist back then. Peasants would give each other gifts and would do stuff for each other as they could (you give me some pots and I'll fix your roof when I can), governments paid people wages of food and goods and merchants haggled various goods with local officials, regular people and each other as they went. This would vanish latter, and China, Greece, Egypt and Philistines had all established currency a hundreds of years before 1000 B.C. (possibly earlier).
* Many of the more developed Bronze Age societies had many aspects of society organized by the government. The government told peasants what to grow, collected taxes of food and similar from them, took them to central warehouses, gave artisans wages of stuff for making tools and weapons which they would use to pay people and distribute to people who needed them. All of which managed by castes of scribes and nobles. Basically think of the [[Imperial Tithe]] minus most of the Grimdark.
== The appeal of the Bronze Age ==
The Bronze Age is the earliest period that we have accounts of, even if they are incomplete. In this time that the earliest forms of civilization are gradually taking shape. To the eye of the romantic, priest-kings reign over populations of devoted followers who demand that their legacy be set in stone with great monuments and by fire and blood as they clash. Ranks of spearmen and bowmen march into battle led by charioteers which clash on burning sands with the winners taking the losers as spoils of war. The heroes might be favored faithful servants to their city and their king and the new world that is rising or barbarian warriors seeking glory, freedom and plunder.

If we want to get more fantastic, this period has produced complex mythologies with pantheons of squabbling gods and epic tales such as the story of Gilgamesh. All of which are ripe material for a fantasy writer to mine.

== Bronze Age inspired Games, Factions and Settings ==
* [[Conan the Barbarian]]
* [[Tomb Kings]]

{{Skub}}
{{Time Periods}}
[[Category: History]]

Stone Age

2019-01-08T00:58:27Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28:

{{Skub}}
The longest period of human civilization, the '''Stone Age''' is the period from the emergence of humans to about 7,000 years ago. Said period is when early humans wandered the landscape hunting and gathering food using and latter making tools of materials such as wood, stone and bone.

== Sub periods ==
* ''Paleolithic'': Basically everything from the discovery of fire to about 20,000 years ago. It includes a wide variety of things from primitive hominids with sharp rocks and pointy sticks to anatomically modern H. Sapiens Sapiens with tents, sewn clothes and multi-part hatchets who made elaborate cave paintings.
* ''Mesolithic'': Roughly about 20,000 to 12,000 years ago. Things begin to get more complicated, tools get more sophisticated and specialized. Items such as bows and arrows and (in Asia) pottery shows up. Dogs and humans team up.
* ''Neolithic'': About 12,000 to 7,000 years ago people began to farm, slowly at first by weeding out patches of food plants of food plants as they went through and seeding areas with food plants and catching pliable animals, penning them and feeding them before slaughter, killing the uppity ones first. They begin building permanent structures and eventually settle down and build small villages, then towns and eventually small cities. Some specialize and hone their crafts. Eventually someone works out how to smelt Copper, thus bringing the Stone Age to a close.
Note: these end dates are of a first past the post nature. The Stone Age did not end for everyone around the second someone [[Bronze Age|started making copper]]. Technically there are a few Stone Age peoples around today in odd corners of the world.
== The appeal of The Stone Age ==
This is a time when the world was not yet man's dominion. Humanity was just another species struggling to get by wandering the world, scraping up what they could from the land where they were not always on top of the food chain. It was also a time in which men walked alongside megafauna such as Mammoths, Ground Sloths, Woolly Rhinos, Short Nosed Bears and Saber Toothed Cats. It even includes people dealing with other species of human such as Neanderthals. If the idea of someone wandering a great empty wilderness of stark beauty and primal terror with real monsters getting by with only their wits and a few things they can cobble together from the wilderness interests you, the Stone Age is the place to set your games.

== Stone Age inspired Games, Factions and Settings ==
...fill me in...

{{Time Periods}}
[[Category: History]]

Template:Time Periods

2019-01-08T00:57:41Z

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| align=center colspan=2 | [[Stone Age]] - [[Bronze Age]] - [[Classical Period]] - [[Dark Age]] - [[Renaissance]]
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[[Category:History]]

Chaos Dwarfs

2018-12-11T00:09:19Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* The Domain of the Dawi-Zharr */

[[Image:Dorf hats.jpg|thumb|right|NO [[Hat|HAT]] SHALL BE GREATER THAN MINE!]]
{{topquote|One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its black gates are guarded by more than just orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep.|Boromir}}
{{topquote|I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.|James Baldwin}}
{{topquote|You can leave your hat on.|Joe Cocker}}

The ''Uzkul-Dhrath-Zharr'', as they refer to themselves, or Dawi-Zharr (Dwarfs of Fire) in Khazalid, are the [[Dwarfs (Warhammer Fantasy Battle)|Dwarfs]]' dark kin, who have been corrupted by the influence of Chaos. They were a faction in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]] up until 5th edition. Despite how awesome these guys are, they were ditched by GW because they weren't selling as much as vanilla Chaos, Orcs & Goblins or Elves were to newbie players. For ages they existed only as a dim fond memory to the veterans of the hobby; they did one new model set (the Hellcannon and its attending Chaos Dwarf crew) but little else. Lo and behold though, Forge World has flown to the rescue. You can buy some brilliant new Chaos Dwarf models and there were rules to use to play with them in [[Tamurkhan: Throne of Chaos|Tamurkhan: The Throne of Chaos]].

==History==

At the height of their empire, before the coming of [[Chaos]], the Dwarfs spread far and wide across the Old World. Ever the diligent workers and miners, they followed the [[Worlds Edge Mountains]] north and dug their holds deep into the rock of the earth. Along the way, they reached a place they called [[Great Skull Land|Zorn-Uzkul]], the Great Skull Land, after all the ancient bones (and especially skulls) scattered there. Though it was rich in minerals, most of them decided that this place was best left alone, but a few were so stubborn, even compared to their fellow Dwarfs, that they decided to live there, to prove that they could.

===An ancient schism===

These most northern holds kept close contact with their kin in the Worlds Edge Mountains as the Dwarf Empire grew, and the Dwarfs enjoyed an age of properity not seen before or since. With the coming of Chaos, the dominion of the Dwarfs over the Old World was about to dwindle. As devastating earthquakes, brought about by the careless machinations of the [[Lizardmen|Slann]] magepriests, shattered the world, the Dwarfs closed themselves up in their mountain holds to weather out the storm, as it has always been their way. There were those amongst the Dwarfs, lead by their fiercest warrior god Grimnir, who argued that Chaos needed to be fought, not endured. And when Chaos was eventually driven back by the actions of the Dwarfs and their [[High_Elves_(Warhammer_Fantasy)|High Elf]] allies, the Dwarfs looked at their wounded domain and thought their northern cousins lost. Surely nothing could have survived the raw Chaos energies unleashed upon the northern wastes. Tragically, they were wrong. The Dwarfs of Zorn-Uzkul suffered greatly, and in their anguish they cried out to their western kin for support and their ancestor gods for salvation, but they did not perish.

Though the Dwarfs that chose to live in the blasted wastes were hardy, even they were not immune to the corrupting influence of Chaos, and they slowly changed over time. For many long years, they only barely survived, as they abandoned or were abandoned by their own ancestor gods, but eventually they found favor with [[Hashut]], the bull-like Father of Darkness, learning the secrets of daemon-smithing in exchange for blood sacrifices. Soon their bodies showed signs of the growing corruption within their souls, their flesh grey, their eyes red and many of the Dawi-Zharr sported horns from their temples while their fangs turned into vicious tusks. Dwarfs have a natural suspicion for unchecked magic and tame the raw energy by binding it to their mighty runes. The Dawi-Zharr were relased from these traditionalist shackles and embraced the secrets about working terrible magic taught to them by their new patron god. Their Daemonsmiths soon learned to combine this arcane knowledge with their own mastery of binding magic and working marvels of engineering into blasphemous amalgams of machine and daemon.

The Dawi-Zharr may have survived the coming of Chaos, but their numbers were greatly diminished. From the Zorn-Uzkul they marched eastwards across the [[Plain of Zharr|Zharrduk]], the Plain of Zharr, to the [[Mountains of Mourn]] and the [[Sea of Dread]] in the south. These are the [[Dark Lands]], a land of fire, smoke and ash, and the Dawi-Zharr claim them as their domain. They were never a numerous people though, and the [[Blasted Wastes]] are home to many [[Orcs & Goblins|Greenskin]] and [[Ogre Kingdoms|Ogre]] tribes. At the heart of the Dawi-Zharr empire they built their great city, ''Mingol-Zharr-Naggrund'', the obsidian City of Fire and Desolation, in the Plain of Zharr. The Blasted Wastes are dotted with fortress-citadels, garrisons and watchtowers, from where the Dawi-Zharr venture forth to subjugate all living beings to work for them as an endless stream of slaves.

[[File:400px-ChaosDwarf.jpg|300px|thumb|left|100% Chaos, 100% Dwarf, 200% trouble.]]

===A twisted parody of Hearth & Oath===

While nobody would describe the Dwarfs as a friendly people, their unshakeable code of honour, respect for their ancestors and undeniable craftmanship and ingenuity should be consired admirable values and make them loyal to a fault. The present-day Dawi-Zharr are only a twisted mockery of these noble ideals, they are tyrannical and merciless, cold at heart and driven by a need to subjugate all the lesser races before them, while retaining their mastery of craftsmanship and industry, backed by their natural stubbornness. Where the human followers of Chaos are always driven by thoughtless slaughter and are inevitably doomed to fail in their rampant destruction, their forces spent, exhausted by infighting and stretched thin against to many foes at once, the Dawi-Zharr employ their ruthless determination and natural propensity for flawlessness for a slow but grinding dominion across the Dark Lands and beyond. Every Dwarf with a mind set on a goal is relentless in its pursuit, but a Dawi-Zharr will stop at nothing and will relinquish no cruelty to see it fulfilled.

Like the regular Dwarfs, their armies are composed of small, elite units, backed by powerful war machines, but Chaos Dwarfs employ Hashut's sorcery where their cousins instinctively distrust magic. Chaos Dwarf machines often have [[daemon]]s bound inside, and their ammunition may be charged with dark alchemy. To round out the army, Chaos Dwarfs employ legions of slaves, especially [[Orcs#Warhammer|Orc]]s and [[Goblin#Warhammer|Goblin]]s, both as meat-shields in battle and as an expendable workforce in the mines and forges. And yet, a group of six Norscans led by a Chaos Champion can easily slaughter their way through one of their cities (Yet only because the writer of that story gave the Norscans EXBAWKSHUEG Plot Armor).

Unlike regular Dwarfs, they make use of terrible magical powers, gifts from their bull-god Hashut. However, because Dwarfs were never meant to use magic, its power slowly but inevitably turns their sorcerers to stone. At first, they regard these changes with pride, glorying in them as badges of honor celebrating their victory over the very forces of nature. As time goes by, though, they start to worry more and more about it. In-game, the rules mirror this: miscasting with a Chaos Dwarf requires a toughness check. At first, failure means ''gaining'' a permanent point of Toughness, but as time goes by the side effects stop being cool.

The Chaos Dwarfs, while evil and all, are not really expansionist and have more than enough slaves as. They make their way economically by selling weapons and armour to the Norse and warriors of chaos in exchange for more slaves to top up their supply. From time to time, a Chaos Dwarf host will be assembled to leave the Dark Lands in search for a valuable treasure, specific sacrifices for their ever-hungry diety or simply more slaves, if the regular hunting grounds are exhausted. Alas, the Daemonsmiths like to test their newest creations against the defenses of the lesser races to optimise their catastrophic potential. They also got a Mesopotamian thing going for them.

===At World's End===

The cataclysmic events of [[The End Times]] obviously didn't exclude the Dawi-Zharr. Eventually [[Grimgor Ironhide]] led a mighty [[Waaagh|Waaagh!]] against the Chaos Dwarfs, toppling their cities and crushing their empire to dust, finishing what started when the Black Orcs revolted against their masters. Like all the factions, Chaos Dwarfs are still around in Age of Sigmar. They live in the realm of Aqshy in the Ashcloud Mountains, and use Realmstone in their armor. That's about all we know.

==The Domain of the Dawi-Zharr==

Between the Worlds Edge Mountains in the west, the Mountains of Mourn in the east and the Sea of Dread in the south lie the Dark Lands, a barren wasteland of ash and dust, devoid of plants or sunlight, the air thick with volcanic smoke, and the Dawi-Zharr claim dominion over it. Most Chaos Dwarfs dwell within this godforsaken realm, but some clans have established exclaves in further regions, like [[Norsca]] and the [[Chaos Wastes]]. In other words, rather than living in [[Empire|not-Germany]], [[Lustria|not-South America]] or [[Nehekhara|not-Egypt]], the Chaos Dwarves have made [[Mordor|not-Mordor]] their home.

===The Dark Lands===

[[File:Darklands.png|300px|thumb|right|The Dawi-Zharr Empire]]
The Dark Lands are a vast area of nothingness, and not even a force as mighty as the Dawi-Zharr could ever hope to truly dominate it.

====Zorn-Uzkul, the Great Skull Land====

In the north, the High Pass from [[Kislev]] leads through the Worlds Edge Mountains into the Zorn-Uzkul, the Great Skull Land, where the ancestors of the Dawi-Zharr first settled. Here, the Road of Skulls to the Chaos Wastes leads through a great plateau littered with bones, many of them skulls of mighty beasts long perished, giving the forbidding area its name. The Dwarfs discovered rich deposits of ore in the ground, but most of them ultimately abandoned the obviously tainted region and returned west. Those who stayed and founded Uzkulak in the north or went on eastwards to the Mountains of Mourn were eventually corrupted by the increasing influence of Chaos and became the ancestors of the Dawi-Zharr. Today, Zorn-Uzkul is the northernmost part of the Chaos Dwarf empire, and to follow the Road of Skulls in the shadows of haunted Uzkulak is a very dangerous endeavor.

====Zharrduk, the Plain of Zharr====

When the waters of the River Ruin roar down the Falls of Doom from Zorn-Uzkul, they first enter the Plain of Zharr, a vast meteoric crater in the north-east of the Dark Lands and the heartland of the Dawi-Zharr empire. The earth is rich in minerals and precious resources, and the Chaos Dwarfs have turned the whole of Zharrduk into one gigantic industrial complex. The ground is riddled with pools of boiling oil and molten metal, rivers of steaming lava crisscross its broken crust, the sun is hidden behind a thick layer of smoke and ash; no living thing is to be found as far as the eye can see. At its center the Dawi-Zharr have erected Zharr-Naggrund, their great capital, and the plain of Zharr is littered with smaller outposts, workshops, foundries and forges. Unabating is the sound of mighty steam-driven forgehammers and the anguished cries of the tortured slaves throughout Zharrduk as the Dawi-Zharr mold their atrocious empire day and night.

====The Blasted Wastes====

The Blasted Wastes in the west of the Dark Lands, between the Worlds Edge Mountains and the Gates of Zharr, are a vast desert and sustain very little life. They are mostly home to nomadic Goblin tribes and other ravaging hordes, but they also house a great number of Black Orc tribes, most notably Grimgor Ironhide and his elite clan, Da Immortulz. Needles to say that the Chaos Dwarfs view the area mostly as hunting grounds for their slave pits.

====The Howling Wastes====

East of the road from Zharr-Naggrund to the Tower of Gorgoth lie the Howling Wastes. Where the Blasted Wastes are a sparse desert, the Howling Wastes are covered by an eternal mist, carrying thin voices and a wailing clamour of an forgotten age. The ground is mostly marshes and swamplands, and traversing it is almost guaranteed to get the unwary swallowed by the land, if not accompanied by an experienced guide.

====The Desolation of Azgorh====

Before the age of Chaos Dwarfs, the mighty volcano of Azgorh erupted with such a mighty crescendo that it split the mountain and rent the ground around it asunder. The ash cloud could be seen in distant Khemri and the elves in their Old World colonies registered the resulting earthquakes. The great upheaval reformed the landscape into an almost impenetrable labyrinth of razor sharp rocks and vents of toxic fumes, but it also unearthed a most precious mineral wealth, which infinite numbers of slave now dig out of the rock in the mines around the Tower of Gorgoth.

===Dawi-Zharr Strongholds===

Many are the fortress-citadels, garrisons and strongholds of the Dawi-Zharr empire. Most of them are found on the Plain of Zharr, some are more remote, but they greatest and most important one is Zharr-Naggrund, the gruesome capital of the Uzkul-Dhrath-Zharr.

====Zharr-Naggrund, the City of Fire and Desolation====

At the heart of the Plain of Zharr lies Mingol-Zharr-Naggrund, the great capital of the Dawi-Zharr empire. It is a gigantic ziggurat of black obisidian, bristled with armed towers and the chimneys of thousands of furnaces and forges. Incessant are the clouds of black smoke and ash vomited from the workings deep in the bowels of Zharr-Naggrund, where untold numbers of slaves toil unremittingly for their cruel masters. The lowest ranks of the Chaos Dwarf society live at the bottom of the ziggurat, whereas the higher echelons are found closer the top, where, at its pinnacle, lies the great Temple of Hashut. Huge gates are found at the four sides of the great ziggurat, their battlements studded with great engines of destruction and guarded by a fearsome battalion of elite warriors. The northern gate allows in the River Ruin, re-routed through the city by the Dawi-Zharr to cool their forges and to siphon away the toxic industrial waste and the corpses of dead slaves through the southern gate. So heavy is the pollution from the city, that nothing can live in the River Ruin beyond it. Two broad streets plated with gold and brass lead to the inner tower from the eastern and western gate over large bridges, under which the Dawi-Zharr live and work in the perpetual twilight of their furnaces.

====Uzkulak, the Place of the Skull====

Uzkulak, the Place of the Skull, is the seat of the ancient Dwarf settlement in the Zorn-Uzkul, before the coming of Chaos. It is the northern most Dawi-Zharr stronghold and the most important slave port. Uzkulak sits at the southern branch of the Sea of Chaos, where the slave ships of the Dawi-Zharr sail forth to far away places to still Zharr-Naggrund's insatiable hunger for slaves. The Chaos Dwarfs have greatly expanded the vast underground tunnel connecting the Sea of Chaos with the River Ruin by the Falls of Doom and installed a sophisticated lock to allow ships to traverse it in both directions. Uzkulak is a strange and haunted place, even by Dawi-Zharr standards, and its shunned lower levels are forbidden grounds, except as punishment for oath-breakers and blasphemers.

====The Tower of Gorgoth====

The massive Tower of Gorgoth sits at the junction between the Blasted Wastes, the Howling Wastes and the Desolation of Azgorh. The tower itself stands on the plateau of a volcanic mountain range, harboring the greatest network of mines in the domain of the Dawi-Zharr. As the seams reach deep in the rock, over the centuries more and more slaves were needed to excavate the precious ore from the unyielding mountains. Over time, more and more slave trading clans have made base around the Tower of Gorgoth, which also serves to replenish the hordes of slave fighters in the Chaos Dwarf armies. Since the Tower of Gorgoth is quite remote from the Plain of Zharr and the might of Zharr-Naggrund, it is regularly attacked by Skaven, Greenskins or Ogres, who think it an easier target. However, the Tower of Gorgoth is manned by a sizeable garrison of Dawi-Zharr and the citadel has never fallen to the enemy. On the contrary, most assaults in the end only accomplish to swell the number of slaves in the endless mines beneath the Tower of Gorgoth.

====The Gates of Zharr====

Halfway between Zharr-Naggrund and the Tower of Gorgoth lie the Gates of Zharr, a massive archway of black stone and iron. Thousands of slaves in endless streams are forced through it every day, the shouts bellowed by their overseers harsher and the lashes of their whips even stronger in the shadows of the towers flanking the mighty testament of the Dawi-Zharrs' claim to the Dark Lands. Passing the Gates in neither direction would mean an end to the suffering for the poor souls, they are either herded towards the Tower of Gorgoth to spend the remainder of their lives, usually a short and painful one, in the mines beneath the volcano, or their destination is Zharr-Naggrund, where they will meet a much quicker end but under even greater agony. A warhost from Zharr-Naggrund to raid the lands beyong the Mad Dog Pass or Death Pass will also march below the Gates of Zharr, the rhythm of their beating drums and blaring horns mirrorer by thousands of warriors beating their weapons on their armor, their standards held high, so the world shall know no respite from the wrath of the Uzkul-Dhrath-Zharr.

====The Black Fortress====

The eastern entry into the Dark Lands, south of the Mountains of Mourn, is guarded by the Black Fortress. In a land already blessed with a surplus of bleak desolation, the Black Fortress still stands out as place of hopelessness and grim determination. Unlike the Tower of Gorgoth, the Black Fortress does not oversee huge mining activities or large groups of the ever valued slaves, its purpose is purely militaristic and the deployment to the Legion of Azgorh is often viewed as a punishment and exile. In fact, the Black Fortress is home to the Infernal Guard, a warrior-cult for dishonoured Dawi-Zharr who have to redeem themselves in the eyes of their harsh society or find solace in death. Their names and past deeds are shorn away, as are their faces sealed shut behind hot-iron and bronze helmets.

==Forces of the Dawi-Zharr==

===The might of Zharr-Naggrund===
[[File:Chaos_Dwarf.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Dawi-Zharr 101: Tall hat, braided beard, spiky armour, wicked weapon, evil mind.]]
Unlike the human and bestial followers of Chaos, the Dawi-Zharr rarely send full armies to the lands of the old world and beyond. Consequently, most common folk think them a myth, for only few can imagine that any of the proud and unyielding Dwarfs should have succumbed to the calling of the dark gods. Those who know better have come to fear the armies of Zharr-Naggrund, as they are a merciless foe on the battlefield. Survivors of battles against the Dawi-Zharr tell tales of clouds of ash and sheets of fire engulfing the screaming remains of fallen soldiers, of cloven-hoofed monsters rampaging through their helpless victims and the very ground opening under them through foul magic. Traumatized and driven insane by what they have vitnessed, they claim that it is better to die in battle than fall alive into the hands of the Chaos Dwarfs and their cruel torturers.

Although the Dawi-Zharr have fallen far from the common ideals with their western kin, they are not so far apart in warfare. The Dawi-Zharr favour the same build of large infantery blocks, their warriors clad in heavy plate and wielding axes and hammers. Chaos Dwarf troops wear tall hats, denoting their social status, and usually braid their black beards. Their armament and weaponry is of superior quality and they share their western kins' martial prowess. For ranged warfare the Chaos Dwarfs favour black power weapons and field warriors equipped with fireglaives and the infamous hailshot blunderbuss, the weapon that drives fear in the hearts of the their opponents like none other. While all Chaos Dwarfs show physical manifestations of the corrupting influence of Hashut, some are blessed beyond developing horns and tusks and are utterly transformed into the hellish Bull Centaurs, a fate which is seen as a sign of high favour bestowed by Hashut. Bull Centaurs are charged with guarding the Temple of Hashut and act as brutal shock troops on the battlefield.

Chaos Dwarfs are a rare breed, even more so than the Dwarfs of the Karaz Ankor. To bolster their forces, the Dawi-Zharr employ large numbers of slave troops. The Dark Lands are an unforgiving place and spawn resilient fighters, all of which the Chaos Dwarfs are all too eager to subjugate into service. Most numerous among their slaves are [[Hobgoblin]]s, a notoriously fiendish kind of [[Orcs & Goblins|greenskin]], even considering that very low bar. Hobgoblins are distrusted and hated by all other greenskins and are totally reliant on the Chaos Dwarfs' protection, which makes them perfect fighters and overseers for the other slave troops. But the Dawi-Zharr are also known to press other, larger greenskins into their service, or even the occasional [[Ogre]] tribe. At some point their demand of able fighters for their armies and their frustration with the unreliability of the regular greenskin livestock led them to create the [[Black Orc]]s, an experiment that ultimately proved to be such a great success, it almost toppled the Dawi-Zharr empire. Only the treachery of the Hobgoblins saved the sons of Hashut from extinction, a deed which cemented the Hobgoblin's position at the highest slave tier for the Chaos Dwarfs and eternal outlaw among the greenskins.

The Dark Lands are roamed by greater dangers than greenskins and ogres, and many monsters and unnatural creatures are likewise caught and enslaved for the Dawi-Zharr armies. Among the most unique monsters bound to service by the Chaos Dwarfs are the Great Taurus and the Lammasu. Some believe the Great Taurus to be an incarnation of Hashut's divinity, while others claim they are actually Chaos Dwarfs with a particularly strong blessing with his gifts, similar to the Bull Centaurs. Whatever their nature, they are highly revered and sought after as mounts all the same by the most powerful of Sorcerer-Prophets. Whilst the Great Taurus is a fuming beast of pure rage and destruction, the Lammasu is a more enigmatic being with a keen mind, and some of the less reckless Sorcerer-Prophets prefer them as a mount over the rampaging might of a Great Taurus.

The Dawi-Zharr society is ruthlessly dominated by the cabal of Sorcerer-Prophets, who steer the fate of the Chaos Dwarf empire as the vessels of Hashut's devine will. Most of the few Sorcerer-Prophets are found in Zharr-Naggrund, but some are ruling over one of the small fortress-citadels and garrisons throughout the Dark Lands, however in most cases this is rather seen as banishment from the capital. Although the Sorcerer-Prophets, and by extent the Daemonsmiths, their disciples and aspiring mages-engineers, rule supreme and are often accompanying Chaos Dwarf warhosts to battle, Overlords and Castellans are dedicated commanders and heralds for the armies and serve purely for the conduct of wars, and also the eldest Bull Centaurs, Taur'ruks, hold authority in Chaos Dwarf armies. Out of necessity, the Dawi-Zharr even allow exceptionally gifted slaves, like Hobgoblin Khans, to hold commanding positions in their armies, although only with authority over other slaves obviously, and only up until the point where such a commanding slave has amassed anything remotely resembling something like a reputation. At this point, he will usually be ... relieved of his duty and replaced with a fresh aspirant, whose fate is likely going in a very similar direction.

While the troops in Dawi-Zharr armies are an admirable foe and can hold their own against any force on the battlefields of the old world and beyond, their truly terrifying power lies within their war machines, hellish abominations of daemonic sorcery melded with infernal engineering. The Chaos Dwarf arsenal is replete with a wide array of mortal artillery, from earth shaking cannonades over fire spewing flame throwers to dreadful steam-powered tanks. Often times these war machines are imbued with daemonic entities, as the Chaos Dwarfs still retain some form of the typical dwarven mistrust of unfettered magical energies and therefore learned how to bind them in their abominable creations. Where the Daemonsmiths work to further the coalescing of daemon and machine, some Sorcerer-Prophets sought to enslave directly even the malevolent beings from beyond the veil of reality, and they summoned and bound them with powerful magic, creating the K'Daai, half daemon and half raging fire. Unleashed upon the world, these mindless forces of destruction will stop at nothing from destroying anything in their path until their eldritch fiery being is consumed by their own burning wrath.

===The Legion of Azgorh===

The most up-to-date ruleset for Chaos Dwarfs, sadly, is the [[Warhammer/Tactics/8th Edition/Legion of Azgorh|Legion of Azgorh]] found in Tamurkhan: Throne of Chaos, but it's fairly extensive and has some nifty units, so it can stand up on its own. Though the book itself suggests they work best when incorporated into a [[Warriors of Chaos]] army, used as part of the [[Chaos Great Hosts]] ruleset provided in the book, or used as allies.

The Legion of Azgorh is garrisoning the Black Fortress and represents a distinct sub-faction of Chaos Dwarfs. The mainstay and principal core troop of the army is the Infernal Guard, regular Chaos Dwarfs are only found in crewing the war machines. Infernal Guard are the Chaos Dwarf equivalent of Slayers, being Chaos Dwarfs who have suffered dishonor and seek to atone for it. To do this, they forsake their names and identities, strap mask-helmets of bronze and iron heated red-hot over their faces, and fight for the glory of Hashut. Unlike Slayers, the Infernal Guard is not a death sentence - in theory, anyway. They aren't frenzied fighters like Slayers, and an Infernal Guard who wins great renown has his mask formally removed and is discharged, his old shame forgotten. They go into battle sporting Blackshard Armour, a unique Chaos Dwarf-devised armour that is proof against flame. Infernal Guard should be considered midway between core and elite troops and have both higher strength as well as better armour than regular Chaos Dwarfs would have. Their default armament are hand weapons and shield for a solid infantry role, but they still have access to all the options you would expect for Chaos Dwarfs, including the ingenious fireglaives and hailshot blunderbusses. Infernal Ironsworn are the elite version of Infernal Guard with an improved profile and ensorcelled hand weapons.

[[File:Dwarf_abomination.jpg|200px|thumb|right|With all the typical Chaos generosity, you'd not be surprised if you saw this while walking down to the grocery store one day.]]

Other famous elements of Chaos Dwarf armies can also be found in the Legion of Azgorh, first and foremost the formidable Bull Centaurs, giving the army a degree of mobility unachievable for regular Dwarf armies. The dreaded Chaos Dwarf artillery is also represented in the Legion of Azgorh: The Magma Cannon, Deathshrieker Rocket Launcher (replacing the classic Death Rocket) and the unique Iron Daemon War Engine, as well as the Dreadquake Mortar (replacing the classic Earthshaker cannon) and Hellcannon, familiar from the Warriors of Chaos army list.

As it is only a subfaction, the army list does not include Chaos Dwarf Overlords, but only Sorcerer-Prophets (Lords who use the Lores of Hashut, Fire, Death or Metal) as the highest commanders. They and Daemonsmiths (Heroes who use the Lores of Fire, Death or Metal) are both wizards and engineers, granting bonuses to your war machines and having a lot of special tricks and gear. Several twisted beasts are further added to the Chaos Dwarf armies: Daemonic bull-things of living magma called the K'daai, burning winged daemon-bulls known as Taurus, magic-eating monsters called Lammasu, and armor-plated Giants modified for use as living seige weapons.

Befitting for a Dawi Zharr army, all Chaos Dwarf units are fairly expensive, as they are to be considered rather rare. The Legion of Azgorh therefore has access to Hobgoblin slaves in the form of fleet-footed wolfriders, great mobs, even conniving Khans as Hero-grade characters. They are very cheap to act as the cannon-fodder they are treated as by the Chaos Dwarfs, and naturally their destruction does not cause panic in Chaos Dwarf units.

==See also==
* [[Warhammer/Tactics/8th Edition/Legion of Azgorh|Tactics/Legion of Azgorh]]<br />
* [[Tamurkhan: Throne of Chaos]]

==External Links==
* [http://www.chaos-dwarfs.com Chaos Dwarfs Online], a repository for all things Chaos Dwarf.

==References==
* [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20942304-tamurkhan Tamurkhan: The Throne of Chaos], by Alan Bligh; Games Workshop, 2011; ISBN 978-1-90796-465-7

{{Playable Factions in Warhammer Fantasy Battle}}

[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Chaos]][[Category:Dwarfs]]

Lance

2018-12-09T04:17:57Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* History */

A '''Lance''' is a weapon (and also a name, but traditional games are usually more interested in the weapon).

== History ==
Historically, lances are large [[polearm|pole weapons]] employed by [[Knight|mounted warriors]]. The idea is to convert momentum directly into penetration, especially for piercing armored opponents. Basically every fantasy setting with western cavalry ever has lances of this type, such as the knights of [[Bretonnia]]. The lance charge of heavy cavalry was a mainstay in medieval Europe, until infantry wielding Pike and Shot forced cavalry to adopt new weapons and strategies.

Compared to a spear, a lance tends to be too large and heavy to use on foot, and has a circular metal plate near the handhold to keep the hand from sliding up the shaft upon impact. They also tended to be single-use weapons, since the wooden shaft tended to splinter apart once it struck a target. Strictly speaking, lances are never thrown (they aren't meant to be, anyway); they are carried under the arm of the wielder. A thrown polearm is more properly called a ''javelin''.

Another historical use of the term "lance" refers to the "lance fournie," a formation of an armored horseman and his retinue. This is the closest medieval equivalent to a modern squad, since a knight would be accompanied by various armed retainers typically including a noncombatant page or squire, as well as light cavalry, infantry, or archers, though there was never any sort of standardization as to the size or composition of such formations. About 100 lances would form a company.

Remember to boil your lance before you lance your boil.

== Warhammer 40,000 ==
[[Imperial Guard]] [[Attilan Rough Riders|Rough Riders]] carry "hunting lances" which generally fit the traditional pattern, although they have added an explosive charge to the tip. Each Rider only gets one, though -- evidently, Riders and horses are cheaper than hunting lances.

[[Warhammer 40,000]] also has a "Lance" special rule which applies to some weapons: a weapon with the "Lance" rule treats all armor values greater than 12 as if they were 12 (which is useful for penetrating the armor of [[Land Raider]]s and [[Monolith#Warhammer 40,000|Monolith]]s).

=== Battlefleet Gothic ===
[[File:orbitalstrike.jpg|200px|thumb|right|In .001 seconds all you'd see is a mushroom cloud the size of Antarctica.]]

In [[Battlefleet Gothic]], lances are giant laser turrets the size of apartment buildings and a few football fields wide and long. Known to fuck all kinds of shit and ruin everyone's day. Its barrels are so fucking massive they could fire three story houses if needed. Mainly fitted on [[Imperial Navy]] ships and traitor fleet ships. [[Eldar]] have something like lances too but they aren't filled with hate like Imperial ones.

Lances come in 3 fun sizes, single barreled to triple barreled. Doubles and triples go on anything larger than a battlecruiser.

The 'Lance' beam itself is a concentrated laser filled with FUCK YOU AND RAGE which is known to one-hit anything smaller than said battlecruisers. The [[Imperium]] also built the Apocalypse-class battleship with lots of lance turrets, in fact fires those turrets as Broadsides.

== Warhammer Fantasy ==
These are what make cavalry hurt on the charge. Grant +2 strength when charging.

{{MedievalWeaponry}}

[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Bretonnia]][[Category:Empire]][[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]][[Category:Eldar]]

Lance

2018-12-09T04:15:51Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* History */

A '''Lance''' is a weapon (and also a name, but traditional games are usually more interested in the weapon).

== History ==
Historically, lances are large [[polearm|pole weapons]] employed by [[Knight|mounted warriors]]. The idea is to convert momentum directly into penetration, especially for piercing armored opponents. Basically every fantasy setting with western cavalry ever has lances of this type, such as the knights of [[Bretonnia]]. The lance charge of heavy cavalry was a mainstay in medieval Europe, until infantry wielding Pike and Shot forced cavalry to adopt new weapons and strategies.

Compared to a spear, a lance tends to be too large and heavy to use on foot, and has a circular metal plate near the handhold to keep the hand from sliding up the shaft upon impact. They also tended to be single-use weapons, since the wooden shaft tended to splinter apart once it struck a target. Strictly speaking, lances are never thrown (they aren't meant to be, anyway); they are carried under the arm of the wielder. A thrown polearm is more properly called a ''javelin''.

Another historical use of the term "lance" refers to the "lance fournie," a formation of an armored horseman and his retinue. This is the closest medieval equivalent to a modern squad, since a knight would be accompanied by various armed retainers typically including a noncombatant page or squire, as well as light cavalry, infantry, or archers, though there was never any sort of standardization as to the size or composition of such formations. About 100 lances would form a company

Remember to boil your lance before you lance your boil.

== Warhammer 40,000 ==
[[Imperial Guard]] [[Attilan Rough Riders|Rough Riders]] carry "hunting lances" which generally fit the traditional pattern, although they have added an explosive charge to the tip. Each Rider only gets one, though -- evidently, Riders and horses are cheaper than hunting lances.

[[Warhammer 40,000]] also has a "Lance" special rule which applies to some weapons: a weapon with the "Lance" rule treats all armor values greater than 12 as if they were 12 (which is useful for penetrating the armor of [[Land Raider]]s and [[Monolith#Warhammer 40,000|Monolith]]s).

=== Battlefleet Gothic ===
[[File:orbitalstrike.jpg|200px|thumb|right|In .001 seconds all you'd see is a mushroom cloud the size of Antarctica.]]

In [[Battlefleet Gothic]], lances are giant laser turrets the size of apartment buildings and a few football fields wide and long. Known to fuck all kinds of shit and ruin everyone's day. Its barrels are so fucking massive they could fire three story houses if needed. Mainly fitted on [[Imperial Navy]] ships and traitor fleet ships. [[Eldar]] have something like lances too but they aren't filled with hate like Imperial ones.

Lances come in 3 fun sizes, single barreled to triple barreled. Doubles and triples go on anything larger than a battlecruiser.

The 'Lance' beam itself is a concentrated laser filled with FUCK YOU AND RAGE which is known to one-hit anything smaller than said battlecruisers. The [[Imperium]] also built the Apocalypse-class battleship with lots of lance turrets, in fact fires those turrets as Broadsides.

== Warhammer Fantasy ==
These are what make cavalry hurt on the charge. Grant +2 strength when charging.

{{MedievalWeaponry}}

[[Category:Warhammer Fantasy]][[Category:Bretonnia]][[Category:Empire]][[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Imperial]][[Category:Eldar]]

Kickstarter

2018-12-04T12:45:38Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* /tg/ related Kickstarters and how they fared */

{{stub}}
'''Kickstarter''' is one of many crowfunding sites where people can throw money at projects or create their own for others to throw money at. The types of projects themselves vary: tabletop games and video games, toys and merchandise, drones and [https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1359605477/ fucking submarines...] It's a veritable smorgasbord of ideas. Tabletop games in particular have a healthy market on Kickstarter (thus giving us just enough reason to make an article about it); you have a bitch of a time getting an actual publisher to take you up on your idea, and self-published stuff won't get you the playerbase to make it worth your labor of love, but crowdfunding is a great way to get your funding and fans. Perhaps too much funding as we will see...

==Explain?==
What's to explain?

If you can picture it, you can advertise it and someone will fund it.

...And sometimes that's [[Skub|sorta the problem]].

For every Kickstarter success story, there's at least a handful (if not more) of [[FAIL|prolific failures]]. Not in the "nowhere near its stretch goal" sense of the word, that's just unfortunate if anything.

No, when most people think of Kickstarter failures, they thing of the big projects that gave its backers an expensive ride upon the hype train, as they usually meet their goal a few times over - and before long, mismanagement, delays, and excuses set in for one reason or another. Insights into the project management's ethics (or lack thereof), a changing of hands, the fact most self-publishers don't have the connections to get the best of materials for their products, and other various factors combine to kill the previously built hype, and the end result is at least one of the following: A) the product never gets released and [[RAGE|the backers start demanding refunds]], or B) the product makes it out against all odds, but it ultimately becomes a shadow of its former self and a testament to its wasted potential... [[RAGE|and the backers start demanding refunds]].

Now, it's important to understand that, while the accusation of "scam" is pretty commonplace, more frequently a failed kickstarter project can be chalked up to a few different factors:
* The project was overly ambitious for the skill level or size of the production team
* The team badly underestimated the budget for the product
* The team suffers from frequent infighting due to clashing ideas or a lack of defined hierarchical responsibility
* The original idea was poorly planned and the team did not conceive how much work was actually needed to meet their goals

In theory, a project creator would alleviate these issues by providing a very thorough presentation outlining exactly what they plan to do and even have a working prototype to show off. In other words, most of the work is already done; they just need the money to create the final product. In practice, even veteran creators (one infamous example being legendary games designer Tim Schafer) can cause massive disappointment when they don't have a bunch of angry investors with teams of lawyers to keep them honest, and instead can use nostalgia or other easily manipulated emotions to ask for more money from backers.

==/tg/ related Kickstarters and how they fared==
*[[White Wolf]] and its subsidiary, Onyx Path, have recently funded many of its [[World of Darkness]] [[RPG]]s via Kickstarter. All of them were met in record time (most of them within a couple of hours, some of them in under just over one hour) with several times the goal met. This results in a large number of stretch goals, many of whom include books that came out a lot later than promised. The worst offender is ''[[Wraith: The Oblivion]]'' 20th anniversary, which was going to come out in Fall 2014 but it took until July 27th 2018 for it to actually release to the public.
*[[7th Sea]] funded its second edition via Kickstarter in 2015. They raked in a maddening $1,316,813 with 11,483, holding the record for the largest sum and most backers for a single RPG. The initial rules were due in October of 2016, but were instead released in ''June'' 2016, four months ahead of schedule. They have been less successful with their sourcebooks, with one being nine months overdue.
*[[Kingdom Death]] is a tabletop game with crazy detailed resin miniatures sold at crazy high prices, and most of them are rather lewd. Raking in $12.3 million from under 20k backers, the backer tiers are pretty expensive, with the lowest for their Monster 1.5 set starting at $50. But people still pay because they really like what it brings to the table.
*[[Mantic Games]] put two of its [[wargames]] on there: the sci-fi [[Warpath]] and the fantasy [[Kings of War]], raking in several times the goal to get funded.
*[[Shieldwolf Miniatures]] did a Kickstarter to expand their miniature range. Asking but a lowly $5000, they got $20k and used that money to make miniatures that are totally not [[Warhammer Fantasy]] inspired and are not meant for proxies in your armies, we swear.
*[[Shadowrun]] itself did not use Kickstarter, but the three recent videogames (Returns, Dragonfall, Hong Kong) based on it did successfully.
*[[Order of the Stick]] funded the more recent printed volumes of the comic via Kickstarter.
*[[Robotech RPG Tactics]] was such a shitshow from start to finish, rules to miniatures, it's got its own page.
*[[Monster Hunter International]] had both versions kickstarted. Both delivered roughly on time, though were fairly unambitious (based existing systems). That the project lead (Larry Correia, author of the book series it's based on it) was an accountant might have had something to do with it too.
*[[Goblins#Goblins_(The_Webcomic)|Goblins: Alternate Realities]] is perhaps the most unlucky (for its backers) on this list. While funding for the card game was successful, during the long absence of updates, it was discovered that the project team had taken the money and ran off. Thunt, despite only being the artist attached to the project and not part of the management team who had stolen the money, still felt he was responsible since it was his license, and has been trying all this time to make the final product for his disappointed fans.

[[Category:Not related]]

Kickstarter

2018-12-04T04:17:07Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* Explain? */

C. S. Lewis

2018-11-28T03:40:43Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* On His Writing */

[[Image:CSLewis.JPG|thumb|Right|250px|The second patriarch of modern fantasy]]
'''Clive Staples Lewis''' (better known as "C. S.", not to be confused with [[C.S. Goto]] (how dare you confuse the two), nor with Lewis Carroll, was [[J. R. R. Tolkien]]'s good friend and another influential early modern fantasy writer. He was also an essayist and a theologian, one of the best of the last century, writing on subjects such as the relationship between science and religion in the modern age, the nature of the afterlife, and [http://scientificintegrity.blogspot.com/2010/04/religion-and-rocketry-by-cs-lewis.html|arguing that the existence of aliens wouldn't clash with Christian beliefs.] Almost all of Lewis' works tend to come across as astoundingly well-thought out; many of his more devoted fans would argue that reading his work is like reading the Necronomicon, except it ''increases'' your sanity.

== His Fictional Works ==
*The Space Trilogy
**Out of the Silent Planet (1938)
**Perelandra (1972) (C.S Lewis' favorite book by his own admission)
**That Hideous Strength (1974) (AKA That Hideous Book, according to JRR Tolkien).
*The Chronicles of Narnia (1950-1956)
**The Magician's Nephew (actually a prequel to The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe)
**The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
**The Horse and His Boy
**Prince Caspian
**The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
**The Silver Chair
**The Last Battle
*The Screwtape Letters
*The Pilgrim's Regress
*The Great Divorce
*Till We Have Faces

== Why He Was Influential ==
With the Narnia series, C. S. Lewis brought to the table the "everything in mythology but the kitchen sink" approach to fantasy writing. Norse Mythology, Greco-Roman Mythology, Judeo-Christian Theology, even modern folklore like Santa Claus got worked in. It's to his everlasting credit that he threw all these things into a blender and came up with something really awesome (even Santa Claus). Basically, if Tolkien gave modern fantasy [[RPG]]s [[Halfling]]s, [[Orc]]s and Dark Lords, Lewis gave it [[Centaurs]], [[Minotaur|Minotaurs]], [[Merfolk]], and talking animals. Narnia also included one of the earliest and most logically consistent examples of the "secret magical world parallel to our own" trope.

== On His Writing ==
[[Image:NarniaMap.jpg|thumb|Right|300px|A map of Narnia]]
When compared to his friend [[J.R.R. Tolkien]], Lewis was more of a philosopher and theologian than a world-builder. While Tolkien had beliefs and viewpoints which manifested in his writings, they usually came up as background details and a component of greater world building. Lewis, in contrast, wrote his works with the primary intent of arguing a point or presenting an idea rather than creating a fantasy world. This isn't to say that Lewis' writings have poor world-building, it just wasn't as much of a priority for him as having a clear and consistent theme. Although his writings tend to be far more overt with their religious message, it should be noted that they're not written in a [[Inquisition|judgemental]] [[Warp|fire-and-brimstone]] style, but more like a neutral-toned fable or philosophy lecture. The Narnia series might basically be about a fantasy land with lion Jesus and ice witch Satan, but it is generally more readable than [[The Lord of the Rings]], as Lewis didn't feel the need to include songs on every other page, or detail the name and lineage of every single person who participated in each battle.

He is also known for The Space Trilogy, which is arguably the earliest example of Christian science fiction (a genre that exists but seldom receives media attention these days for... [[Skub|reasons]]). The first book (Out of the Silent Planet) is about a man named Ransom being kidnapped and taken to a planet (called Malacandra by its inhabitants, the one we call Mars) where he meets aliens, the angel in charge of Mars under God and learns more about the way the universe works and the situation of Earth. The second book (Perelandra) is about Ransom being taken to the planet Perelandra (the one we call Venus) to stop a demon from recreating The Fall of Man with Venus' equivalent of Adam and Eve. In the third book (That Hideous Strength) the main characters Ransom and Mark have to work together against a scientific institute which is actually a front for sinister supernatural forces.

Fun fact: the Space Trilogy makes reference to what would have been the Time Travel trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien, except we never got anything more than unfinished manuscripts. Basically it would have been Tolkien's way of tying in the history of the Lord of the Rings with the known history and medieval legends of today's world. The closest thing we get is [[The Silmarillion]].

Also of note are Lewis' books about the afterlife, as they're particularly unique. The Screwtape letters, for example, is a fictional series of letters written by a demon, Screwtape, to his nephew Wormwood, giving him advice on seducing a man to the ways of [[Heresy|sin]] and [[Chaos|damnation]]. [[Warp|Hell]] isn't depicted as a brutal prison as in Dante's Inferno, but more like a [[Administratum|diabolical bureaucracy]], where [[Dark Eldar|demons consume human souls as we would consume wine]], and the more evil they are, the finer their vintage. Screwtape gives excellent advice on how to manipulate good intentions into bad deeds, and the book's unusual point of view lends itself to some creative ideas. In particular, the subplot where Wormwood and Screwtape subtly try to undermine the other by reporting them to Hell's [[Inquisition]] while maintaining correspondence is quite entertaining. Suffice to say it's an excellent read for [[GM|GMs]] wishing to run a particularly [[Tzeentch|cunning or manipulative]] demon.

[[Category:Writers]]

M113 Armored Personnel Carrier

2018-10-24T23:15:32Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* IRL */

[[File:M113 Picture.jpg|300px|right|thumb|The Original Metal Box]]
{{topquote|[[METAL BOXES]]!|Firaeveus Carron}}

The M113 is an armored personnel carrier used by the United States Military. The M113 was the first vehicle armored entirely with aluminum, enough to stop small arms fire from turning the occupants into bleeding sponges, but not enough to stop anything serious. The M113 is armed with a single .50cal AA Machine gun, but the most powerful thing it carries into battle is the 11 mean, green fighting machines tucked away in relative safety inside.

Like a [[Rhino|certain vehicle]] in a [[Warhammer 40,000|particular miniature wargame]] the M113 has been adapted into a staggering number of variants to fill various different battlefield roles.

==In Team Yankee==
===USA===
[[File:M113 Stat Card.jpg|300px|left|thumb|The Stat Card]]
The M113 is one of the best transports in Team Yankee with decent armor, good transport and a useful main gun. The M113 can carry 3 teams of infantry (4 less than the marines overgrown version the [[AAVP7]], but one more than almost every other personnel carrier and two more than the British Spartan). The front armor of 3 is the strongest of any APC on the field (though don't go taking on Main Battle Tanks in this thing). The side and top armor are rather standard though at 2 and 1 respectively.

The M113 is armed with a .50cal AA machine gun, which can be used to deal with enemy infantry, BTRs, and helicopters. However, you can sacrifice some of your Mech Platoons M47 Dragon teams and mount the Dragon Missiles on the M113s, turning it into a stopgap tank hunter (which is somewhat situational due to the reduction in damage output). However, the main selling point of the M113 is its 5+ firepower. While inferior on the move compared to other NATO transports, the FP buff means that statistically, they perform twice as well against entrenched infantry due to the doubling in FP passes. The potential to hit targets beyond 16" is a welcome bonus, if a little situational. Expect to use these things as IFVs; their decent AT value can engage softer armored units like BTRs but their ideal task would be destroying infantry with the same efficiency as autocannons.

You cannot take M113s alone, only as transports for your [[US Mech Platoon|Mech Platoons]]. For 4 Points you get 3 M113s, 2 M47 Dragon Teams and 3 M249 SAW/M72 LAW teams. For an additional 2 points, you get one more of each, for a total of 4 M113s 3 M47 Dragon Teams And 4 M249 SAW teams. In both cases, you may purchase an additional Dragon ATGM team for one point.

The best way to utilize the M113 is to support the infantrymen it just dropped off. Use them to draw fire away from your soldiers and cover them with machine gun fire. If you're rocking the Dragon, take out the tanks that pose the most danger to the troops, like AA autocannons or other transports. Also never EVER leave the infantry behind.

===West Germany===
[[File:TG126.jpg|300px|left|thumb|Das ''Deutsche'' Stats]]
Since German homemade transports are a bit on the expensive side and take a while to manufacture, the West Germans purchased thousands of M113s to equip their panzergrenadiers.
The rules for these machines can be found in the Panzertruppen Pamphlet.

Unlike the All American model, the German M113 mounts a 7.62mm MG3 machine gun instead of the M2 .50 cal. The MG3 has an improved moving ROF over the .50, letting the M113 roll three dice after moving compared to 2. Unfortunatly the AT rating and Firepower are not as good, at 2 (down from 4) and 6 (down from 5+) respectively. In addition, you cannot sacrifice one of your Milan Teams to mount their missile onto the M113 like you can with the other two German transport options (not that you should given the West German's tiny unit size). This means that the German box's offensive capabilities are strictly Anti-personnel as the high ROF can cut through infantry formations, but is useless against their transports or armor support.

The German M113 also has one less capacity than the American Model, at the rather standard 2 passenger limit. While sufficient to transport the tiny West German units, if you lose a vehicle suddenly you have a lot of ride-less infantry, while if this was the American model, you could just pile them into the rest of the transports. German commanders must be a lot more conservative with their support as if you lose a M113, you've lost almost all of the mobility of their infantry.

4 points will get you a pair of M113s, a pair of MG3/Panzerfaust Teams, and a pair of Milan teams, and for an addtionaly 3 points you get one more of each.

===Canada===
[[File:M113 Canuck.jpg|300px|left|thumb|The 'Nuck Box Stats]]
Almost identical to their american counterpart, but with a better skill value, it lacks any night-vision or the ability to take an optional ATGM. However, the lack of AT, AA and general firepower potential isn't as detrimental as one might think, as the Canadians have options for these things elsewhere in their list. This all cements the [[Canadian Mechanized Platoon|Canadian Mechanized]]'s role as a highly agile stopgap for pinning other infantry and preventing the enemy from maneuvering their own tanks around the board as they please. The M113, in turn, serves in a cursory support role, being relatively cheap and fairly well-armoured. Rush them forward as fire magnets or rush them forward and use the wrecks for bulletproof cover.

All in all, the M113 Transport is nothing special for the Canadians. Yet it's the only transport option you're given, and you need to get your infantry as close to the enemy as possible since their range is at times cripplingly short. So use that decent front armour to keep the hosers alive, use that .50 cal to cover them as they march forward into the breach. Worst comes to worst, it's free cover for your rifles.

The non-transport variants, on the other hand, are highly varied. These range from a multipurpose [[M113 Blowpipe|AT/AA MANPAD carrier]], a standard [[M150 TOW|TOW launcher]], an [[M113 OP|OP Carrier]] and an [[M125 81mm|81mm mortar carrier]].

===ANZAC===
[[File:TABX02-15.jpg|300px|left|thumb|'splish splash']]

The ANZAC M113 is a little different from the classic metal box. Instead of the the observation cupola and a pintile mount for a Machine Gun, the Aussie's have instead fitted an actual turret with not one, but two MGs, a primary .50cal and a coaxial 7.62mm. This translates to an extra shot at At 2 and a bare bones 6 FP on top of the regular .50 cal stats. You also loose the AA Ability because I guess the turret just cant turn fast enough to track helicopters and strike aircraft. Also it has a Infa-Red Scope.

Other than that treat the "Bucket" as the ANZACs call the M113, the same as you would any of the other transport. Support the Infantry and deal with other light vehicles and enemy soldiers. You can get the M113 T50 as transports for your ANZAC Milan Sections and ANZAC Mechanized Platoon.
{{clear}}

==IRL==
[[File:M113 Irl.jpg|300px|right|thumb|An M113 in Denmark]]
The M113 First entered service in 1960 and has remained in use ever since. Currently, over 6000 M113s are in use in the United States, with thousands more in other nations. The M113 is slowly being phased out by the M2 and M3 Bradley. During the Cold War it has seen some repurposing as various support vehicles, such as [[M901 ITV|AT Missile]] [[M150 TOW|Carriers]], [[M106 Heavy Mortar Carrier|mortar]] [[M125 81mm|carriers]], [[M163 VADS|anti-air guns]], [[M48 Chaparral|Air-Defense]] [[ADATS| Missile]] [[Tracked Rapier|carriers]], and [[Lynx Reconnaissance Patrol|Recon]] [[M113 MRV|Vehicles]].
It also has mindless fanbois who call it the Gavin. A term made up by a drop out of both the USMC and Army Reserves. [[bullshit|He and his dumb ass followers believe that the platform is just as capable as the upgraded Bradley and superior to just about any wheeled APC.]] [[Fail|Never mind that its armor can be defeated by anti-material rifles.]] Given its appearance, models of it from other company's make decent proxy's for 40k rhinos for players on the cheap or who want a different look.

{{clear}}
{{US Forces in Team Yankee}}
{{West German Forces in Team Yankee}}
{{Canadian Forces in Team Yankee}}
{{ANZAC Forces in Team Yankee}}

[[Category:Vehicles]]

M150 TOW

2018-10-24T23:10:44Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28:

A modified [[M113 Armored Personnel Carrier|M113]] set up with the American TOW-II missile system.

==In Team Yankee==
[[File:M150 Canuck.jpg|300px|left|thumb|The Stats]]
This is the only Canadian TOW platform, use it wisely. AP 21 is nothing to scoff at, and when backed up by an [[ADATS]] or two, big scary tanks shouldn't be much of a threat to your efforts. Be aware that it is open-topped.
{{clear}}

==IRL==
The M150 was the predecessor to the M901 ITV (hence why it's called the "Improved TOW Vehicle") back before the US really bought into the concept of missile carriers. The idea was to simply provide more mobility to dismounted TOW teams rather than have a dedicated missile-armed tank destroyers. After the Yom Kippur war, the US changed their tune and quickly replaced their M150s with M901s.

{{Canadian Forces in Team Yankee}}

[[Category:Vehicles]]

M150 TOW

2018-10-24T23:10:19Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28:

A modified [[M113 APC|M113]] set up with the American TOW-II missile system.

==In Team Yankee==
[[File:M150 Canuck.jpg|300px|left|thumb|The Stats]]
This is the only Canadian TOW platform, use it wisely. AP 21 is nothing to scoff at, and when backed up by an [[ADATS]] or two, big scary tanks shouldn't be much of a threat to your efforts. Be aware that it is open-topped.
{{clear}}

==IRL==
The M150 was the predecessor to the M901 ITV (hence why it's called the "Improved TOW Vehicle") back before the US really bought into the concept of missile carriers. The idea was to simply provide more mobility to dismounted TOW teams rather than have a dedicated missile-armed tank destroyers. After the Yom Kippur war, the US changed their tune and quickly replaced their M150s with M901s.

{{Canadian Forces in Team Yankee}}

[[Category:Vehicles]]

M150 TOW

2018-10-24T23:09:39Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* IRL */

A modified M113 set up with the American TOW-II missile system.

==In Team Yankee==
[[File:M150 Canuck.jpg|300px|left|thumb|The Stats]]
This is the only Canadian TOW platform, use it wisely. AP 21 is nothing to scoff at, and when backed up by an [[ADATS]] or two, big scary tanks shouldn't be much of a threat to your efforts. Be aware that it is open-topped.
{{clear}}

==IRL==
The M150 was the predecessor to the M901 ITV (hence why it's called the "Improved TOW Vehicle") back before the US really bought into the concept of missile carriers. The idea was to simply provide more mobility to dismounted TOW teams rather than have a dedicated missile-armed tank destroyers. After the Yom Kippur war, the US changed their tune and quickly replaced their M150s with M901s.

{{Canadian Forces in Team Yankee}}

[[Category:Vehicles]]

M150 TOW

2018-10-24T23:09:23Z

2601:582:8602:C02A:4989:A6BD:2A29:BB28: /* IRL */

A modified M113 set up with the American TOW-II missile system.

==In Team Yankee==
[[File:M150 Canuck.jpg|300px|left|thumb|The Stats]]
This is the only Canadian TOW platform, use it wisely. AP 21 is nothing to scoff at, and when backed up by an [[ADATS]] or two, big scary tanks shouldn't be much of a threat to your efforts. Be aware that it is open-topped.
{{clear}}

==IRL==
{{Canadian Forces in Team Yankee}}
The M150 was the predecessor to the M901 ITV (hence why it's called the "Improved TOW Vehicle") back before the US really bought into the concept of missile carriers. The idea was to simply provide more mobility to dismounted TOW teams rather than have a dedicated missile-armed tank destroyers. After the Yom Kippur war, the US changed their tune and quickly replaced their M150s with M901s.

[[Category:Vehicles]]