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Doom

2020-07-21T13:23:05Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:2DC8:A758:B77F:349E: /* DOOM Eternal */

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[[File:Doom cover poster.jpeg|thumb|If you don't already have the first level's music in your head, you may be on the wrong site.]]
{{topquote|Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combatting the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...|[[Discworld|Terry Pratchett]]}}

The granddaddy of the first person shooter, the original ass-kicking demon-slaying 3D slaughterfest, '''''Doom''''' is a franchise that demands respect even in the hallowed halls of /tg/. It was actually inspired by a [[Dungeons & Dragons]] campaign played by the founders of id Software; John Romero had given a demon lord the key to overrunning the material plane in exchange for a magic [[Katanas are Underpowered in d20|katana]] because he's an edgy little bitch like that, and John Carmack (the DM) decided it made a good premise for their new 3D game. The katana in question would later be used in Romero's game ''Daikatana'', which was a total failure for reasons that aren't important enough to go over right now.

The plot? What do you think this is, [[Fags of 4chan#Board Fags|urchin?]] Here's your plot: you are a Space Marine (no, not the 40K guy, a jumped-up soldier who is sent to fight on other planets, so closer to the [[Imperial Guard]]) stationed on Phobos. Somehow, demons break through into our reality and slaughter everyone else. Your job? Fight your way to where, you hope, there's a ride off of this rock, and make bloody mincemeat out of everything standing between you and salvation. Standing in your way are armies of zombified fellow marines and eggheads, fireball-tossing imps, hulking flesh-eating demons, cyborg-demon monstrosities, and various other hell-spawned nasties who want to kill you horribly. Good luck. You'll need it...

Although not the very ''first'' of the FPS genre (even its predecessor, [[Wolfenstein]] 3D, wasn't the first, as the history of the genre goes back all the way into 70's), Doom was definitive to the genre, so much so that "Doom Clone" was the standard nickname for many years afterwards. People are still playing it and making it even more awesome with [[Homebrew|their own custom modifications]] 24 years later, which isn't something you hear that often outside of /tg/; this is one of the main reasons why the franchise is so well-respected.

Fun fact: that iconic Doom monster, the Cacodemon, was actually inspired by the artwork for an Astral Dreadnought on the cover of the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] 1st edition [[Manual of the Planes]] splatbook. Also relevant to /tg/ is that Sandy Petersen, co-designer of [[Ghostbusters RPG]], creator of [[Call of Cthulhu]], and author of some [[RuneQuest]] stuff, worked on the game. He designed some levels (more in the sequel) and made some contributions to the monster design.

==Classic DOOM (aka The Good Shit)==
{{topquote|Welcome to DOOM, a lightning-fast virtual reality adventure where you're the toughest space trooper ever to suck vacuum. Your mission is to shoot your way through a monster-infested holocaust. Living to tell the tale if possible.|README.TXT, Doom 1.8 shareware}}
The original Doom was fast-paced and bloody compared to what came before, but wasn't afraid to vary the pace with more labyrinthine levels or make you shit your pants by dropping you into a crowd of demons when you least expected it. (Fun fact No. 2: The extra levels included in the physical version of Doom (henceforth called ''Ultimate Doom'') were built by the same guy who wrote [[Call of Cthulhu]] in just 10 weeks.) Doom II on the other hand was a circle-strafing explosion-rich gorefest, and is what basically everyone thinks of when they think of both Doom and 90s FPS gameplay in general. Plot was bare-minimum: Demons took over Phobos and ate Deimos, kill them all. Or, in Doom 2's case, Demons are trying to infest Earth in revenge, kill them all AGAIN. But this time, ''it's personal''. (No, seriously, they killed your pet bunny Daisy.) The Doom engine is extremely mod-friendly for a 90's game (as both Carmack and Romero had been big into software tinkering in their day) and the modding community is still very present and perhaps even more prolific than it was back in the day. In fact, id Software actually paid some modding groups for the right to sell their works as retail (Final Doom and the Master Levels for Doom 2). Also relevant is SIGIL, John Romero's own 25th anniversary level-pack and unofficial Episode 5 for Doom 1 that he released to the public for free (unless you wanted the special Buckethead soundtrack for [[Edgy|$6.66 USD]]).

Slightly more obscure but still relevant is Doom 64, which replaced the high-speed explode-o-rama with a stronger horror theme and more deliberate pace.

id Software then for a time turned toward more multiplayer-oriented games with the ''Quake'' franchise and gave Doom a well-earned rest.

===The Doom Comic===
{{topquote|'''DYNAMITE! I'M COOKING WITH GAS! I'VE GOTTA HANDFUL OF VERTEBRAE AND A HEADFUL OF MAD! YEAH, THAT'S YOUR SPINAL CORD, BABY! DIG IT!'''|You, the moment you read that heading}}
The origin of [[Rip and Tear]]. Possibly the most ridiculously, amazingly, stupidly 90's thing that has ever been put to paper with the possible exception of Image Comics. It has to be read to be believed. [https://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/ So go read it.]

===Monsters===
[[File:Reaperminis.jpg|thumb|right|Limited-edition monster minis from [[Reaper Miniatures]]. Admit it, you want that Cyberdemon for your Daemons of Chaos army.]]
These are the monsters you'll encounter in Doom 1, Doom 2 and their spinoffs.
*'''[[Zombie|Former human]]''': Wet toilet paper. Only dangerous until you get a shotgun.
**'''Former Sergeant''': Still wet toilet paper, but full of broken glass; if one of these assholes gets behind you before you find armor you're probably dead. Likely to be your first source for shotguns.
**'''Former Commando''': Unlike the other formers, this guy is no joke: he's durable enough to not die when breathed on and his hitscan chaingun is almost as powerful as yours. Using hordes of these guys in an open arena with no cover is the pinnacle of dick moves in Doom mapping.
*'''Imp''': The first true demon you encounter with an easy-to-dodge projectile and more health than the formers. The first meaningful enemy you meet, and runner-up for most iconic non-boss monster.
*'''Demon''': Otherwise known as '''Pinkies'''. Giant hairless gorilla with a mouth that could give a [[squig]] lessons in eating. [[Derp|They can't walk and bite at the same time]] so you can just step out of their way, but they tend to come in large groups and dance around like spastic toddlers (which makes them harder to shoot) as they run up to you.
**'''Spectre''': Demon with Predator-style optic camo. An absolute bitch to deal with in dark environments, which is naturally where you find them.
*'''Cacodemon''': Mr. [[Astral Dreadnought]] Head. These fuckers can fly and you can't look up, so have fun fighting them in close quarters where they can float out of your field of view. Dangerous, but get a rapid-fire weapon and they become a joke as you stunlock them until they are all dead. ''The'' most iconic non-boss monster, partially because of its sheer WTFery but mostly because of how easy it is to chibi/make plushies out of.
**'''Pain Elemental''': [[Meme|Meatball demon.]] Like a cacodemon, but instead of shooting fireballs, it shoots Lost Souls. Has the opposite problem to the pinkies in that [[Derp|you can stand in front of its face]] and prevent the lost souls from spawning.
*'''Lost Soul''': Floating flaming skulls that fly at you at approximately SANIC miles per hour. Fairly weak, but very fast and has a habit of nibbling at you while you focus on something more dangerous.
*'''Revenant''': [[Meme|Agitating skeleton aka '''DOOT'''.]] One of the few monsters that moves anywhere near as fast as you do, plus he runs up and tries to punch your head off if you move inside the minimum range of the homing rockets he shoots. It is an established fact that any given Doom map is automatically casuals-only unless the mapper adds at least 100 revenants.
*'''Mancubus''': [[Festus the Leechlord|HELLO I'M FUCKING FAT.]] Slow, but very tank and he has dual heavy flamers for arms that hurt like hell. Fortunately, this also applies to any nearby demons, so you can make them kill each other for your amusement just by standing between a mancubus and another monster.
*'''Arch-vile''': One of the few monsters that that's faster than the player at a full run. Sets you on fire [[Psyker|with its mind]] and revives any monsters it comes across so you have to kill them all over again. Meeting one of these guys in a slaughtermap will make you [[Khorne|hate everything forever.]]
*'''Hell Knight''': Now we're talking. [[Space Marine]] sized and equipped with a punch and moderate projectile attacks (fireballs). Shooting him in the face with a shotgun will kill him pretty quickly.
**'''Baron of Hell''': Super hell knight with double the health. Big and equipped with nasty melee and projectile attacks. Shooting ''him'' in the face with a shotgun just '''pisses him off'''. Super shotguns will work though. Probably the best known Barons are the "Bruiser Bros", the pair of Barons you fight as the bosses of the first episode.
*'''Cyberdemon''': [[Rip and tear|Is huge, and therefore has huge guts.]] Basically a (Chaos possesed?) Carnifex with a rocket launcher for an arm, and significantly faster than he looks. Without a doubt the fuckingest monster in the classic game, and practically tailor made for soaking up BFG shots.
*'''Spider Mastermind''': Doom 1’s final boss, despite being inferior in almost every way to the Cyberdemon you fight earlier. Go figure. Even more XBOX HUEG than the Cyberdemon, but has a super-chaingun instead of a rocket launcher and refuses to let up until either you or it are dead. Has the critical weakness of BFG shots up the ass due to the way its hugeness interacts with the mechanics of the classic BFG.
**'''Arachnotron''': Babby Masterminds that go fast and shit plasma at you.

==Doom 3==
In the early 2000s, Doom 3 came along. It blows chunks compared to the classics, but since the classics are so damn good it ends up being passable anyway. Since Valve had made "story-driven" shooters and "realistic" scripted encounters the in thing id decided to rip off Half-Life, grafting on elements of the original Doom that had been scrapped at the concept stage. Unfortunately the gameplay was too slow and similar to the rest of the genre, the scripting and story interludes just made the gameplay even clunkier and the big technological gimmick (per-pixel lighting) meant you had to choose between seeing what you're supposed to shoot with a crappy little flashlight and actually being able to shoot it. Supposedly the lighting effects were resource intense during development and this was the "solution" (of course we know better that they wanted to make it a quasi survival horror). Naturally the first mod for the game was duct tape so you can use the flashlight and a gun at the same time. This mod would eventually become official when the BFG Edition re-release came around about a decade later.

The plot itself is essentially a reboot - You are a generic marine who just transferred to Mars and after pissing around with all your co-workers whom you will never see in one piece again, an experiment involving a portal to Hell (This time with no reason besides the head researcher being kinda absolutely evil) goes horribly awry and now the facility is completely fucked. Your task then devolves into simply surviving, as you're cut off from any command and have to make your way to various checkpoints. Along the way, you come across an ancient artifact made by the original denizens of Mars, who made it in order to kill all the demons, and so the demons sealed it away in Hell. After a couple trips in and out of hell, you manage to understand how the artifact works (by feeding off the souls of slain demons) and use it to kill the Cyberdemon, their greatest champion, and bail home. You'd think this is the end...except the mad scientist responsible for this is revealed to have turned into a full-blown demon.

===Resurrection of Evil===
An expansion to Doom 3, this game takes the original game and puts a few nifty spins to make it feel unique like the gravity gun (because Half-Life 2 did it too). Instead of the classic plot, you are now a nameless space engineer who comes across a different and wholly demonic artifact called the Hell Heart. This makes you more of a target compared to before, as Hell sends out three special hunters to reclaim the heart, each of whom give it a special ability for you to abuse once you kill them.

==Doom 4 (aka DOOM aka DOOD aka Brutal Doom HD)==
{{topquote|They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you? You will be '''worse'''. [[Rip and Tear]], until it is '''DONE'''.|A direct order from what is either [[God-Emperor of Mankind|God's]] [[Living Saint|seraphs]] or [[Khorne]] himself. Do you really need more of a mission briefing?}}

Listen to it here[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpllUQ38CKY]

Then the latest Doom came out in May 2016. This rendition can basically be described as "3d Brutal Doom II" only sexier, with features like [[Rip and tear|ripping enemies apart with your bare hands]] and having to stay on the move to avoid being torn to shreds. The plot is also about as bare minimum as the original (albeit with a surprising amount of lore hidden away in the Codex...that makes one feel it’s set in the 40k verse), kicking the player straight into the action with waking up on Mars, immediately [[Rip and tear|smashing a zombie’s skull]], and basically being told “demonic invasion, go kill everything.” Starts with corporate big wig trying to talk you into being on his side and [[Awesome|you're answer is a solid ''"FUCK YOU" fist]]. Also, the player this time around is someone the demons call the “Doom Slayer", who has traveled through “Worlds and Time” (hinting that the Doom Slayer could very well be the original Doomguy from the first two games, having also survived Doom 64 and has been traveling Hell since, later all but confirmed in the sequel), and millennia ago [[Awesome|kicked Hell’s ass so hard that the best the demons could do is seal him away so that he wouldn’t destroy Hell]].
The Slayers testament tells in sparse detail but leaves enough imagination to realise what the Legions of Hell where up against. A near immortal being of pure hate, blessed by the Seraphims(or Khorne...which would make this an attempt at suicide), capable to stand agains Legions of Demons completely alone and harnessing their power as he slaughters them. THEN fought a [[Titan (D&D)|Titan]] of "immeasurable Power and Ferocity" with only his Sword (it was a laser sword though so there's that), killing and absorbing its power to turn them on the Demons. Desperate now, the highest [[Daemon Prince|Archdevils]] realized nothing short of a God will stop the Slayer (fitting since a god summoned it in the first place), so they prepared an elaborate Trap involving what may have been a Blackstone Sarcophagus.
It speaks for itself, of what the Bait, which lured the slayer to the temple of the bloodkeep, must have been made of...or was.
Now at the peak of his might, with sword and shield of "adamantine Strengh" he stood before [[Chaos|the Horde]], and [[rip and tear|split heads open, punched, maimed, killed, burnt]] until finally the whole temple collapsed on him and was sealed in the Cursed Sarcophagus.
Millennia passed until the UAC decides to deal with an Energy Crisis by quite literally [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|slamming an Oil Derrick on a Hell Portal to siphon off Hell Energy for power]], and just for giggles starts tomb raiding Hell for artifacts and treasures as well, ultimately running off with the Doomguy's sarcophagus. The demons see that the Doomguy’s prison/tomb is empty, and the subsequent invasion is actually a panicked attempt to stop the Doomguy from being woken up. Obviously they fail and he butchers every last one of them.

Samuel Hayden is the guy in charge of the UAC, a cyborg the size of a 40k [[Space Marine]]. He and Vega, the Mars UAC AI, are basically quest givers for the most part. His subordinate Olivia Pierce pretty much ran a cult while Hayden was pillaging artifacts from Hell, [[Grimdark|being the only one to make it back from the expeditions]]. When shit hits the fan he decides to wake the Doom Slayer up with the hopes that this wild card could help take control of the facility without causing capital damage. Of course, once awake, he goes on a rampage and busts the UACs shit, as Hayden's disregard for human life is too far even for Doomguy to take, expressing his outrage without the need for a voice actor.

So now it's up to the Doom Slayer in awesome power armor to [[Rip and Tear|rip and tear]] and dakka every demon he comes across to stop Olivia while wrecking UACs energy production. After going to hell at least once due to Olivia breaking an Argent Accumulator and making it back to Mars, then after Hayden installs a "tether" to him, Hayden sends Doomguy on a quest to find the Helix Stone, picking up the most powerful version of the BFG 9000 yet on the way(more on that below). Once he reaches the Helix Stone it directs Doomguy to acquire the Crucible, a relic in the Titan's Realm. So Doomguy has to kill the Cyberdemon to get back to hell, make a long trek and fight the three Hell Guardians who guard the Crucible and returns to Mars again. To finally stop Olivia, Hayden, being the bastard that he is, even sacrifices his old creation Vega, though unlike everyone else, at least our player character is nice enough to make a backup without anyone even bothering to ask. The Doom Slayer uses the Crucible to shutdown Hell's energy wells and releases the spirits of his old friends, the Night Sentinels.

Once Olivia is found once again, she transforms into the Spider Mastermind. If you've been collecting all the stuff like you should have, she can easily be(along with the other game other bosses in the game) cheesed by the best weapons even on the highest difficulty, with the [[Cheese|Rich get Richer]] Rune fully upgraded. Once she's dead it's the final cutscene, Where Hayden steals the "Crucible" which turns out to be an energy blade that makes a [[Lightsaber]] look like a toothpick, than sends the Doom Slayer off to who knows where with the tether he installed into the Praetor Suit earlier, disposing of a potential threat before it decides to become one. After this you experience one of the best credit sequences made for a video game in over a decade.

Mick Gordon's soundtrack gives the game the best metal music ever. BFG Division being the standout in the soundtrack. Used for two whole levels and the final boss music is a Glitch remix of it. There is also some inspiration from RPG style FPS a la Metro 2033 and [[Samus|Metroid Prime]]. As collecting Argent Energy, weapon mods, elite guard tokens, and Runes allow them to upgrade the Praetor Suit and weapons to their preferred play style. The engine allows the Doom Slayer a wide range of first-person animations. As his destruction of UAC property and actions portrays an "I'm too old for this shit" attitude. Having to fight demons for centuries doesn't make for a happy camper.

The damage of the BFG 9000 itself is notable. This thing instantly vaporizes every non-boss enemy on-screen!(and them too if you exploit a glitch. However what a player does that the devs didn't intend is dubious canon.) You read that correctly, you don't have to aim it directly at your targets to kill them. You just have to find the right opening to make it kill every demon you can. As the Plasma Bolt throws out lightening or much more likely, solar flares. That would mean the Plasma the BFG fires is likely firing a fucking miniature star with each shot! The F in BFG may stand for Fermentation, Grimdark! with science!. We can wait while you Google it.

Don't be impressed just yet. A Baron of Hell is 2000 pounds and because it turns everything into gibs it comes in contact with.
That means it has to have 7 Gigajoules of energy and would have to be heated up to over 100,000 degrees Celsius! [[Anal_Circumference|A temperature range which is only seen in small stars and nebula!]] That's not just [[GrimDark]], that's just fucking cold in the most brutal way possible and speaks to the insanity of the UAC for building this thing. Are we sure somebody didn't screw up the name? Though Brown Dwarf Gun 9000 doesn't sound as cool.(Though why is it green? Because it's blue-green! As blue in space equals very fucking hot!) In all possibility, if the Doom Slayer didn't wear his Praetor Suit. Firing the weapon would instantly annihilate him too! (since Photons are their own particle and antiparticle the word is valid) No apologies for the science jokes. They are necessary evils in explaining how the BFG 9000 works.

It also says a lot of the bosses as a direct hit will merely stun them (without using the weapon wheel glitch) while shaving off large portions of their health. So you need either a very advanced suit of Powered Armor or a significant amount of mass to survive a direct hit from the plasma bolt and its flares. The only real con to using the BFG 9000 is it's limited ammo of four shots. Though a good player can get around that if they set up their Runes correctly.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig_gQAITzIk| Science and math mostly explained in this Youtube video ]. So yeah, the BFG 9000 shoots miniature stars.

===DOOM Eternal===
{{topquote|Against all the evil that hell can conjure, all the wickedness that mankind can produce, we will send up to them, only you. Rip and Tear until it is done!|King Novik of the Night Sentinels}}

Doom Eternal was announced at E3 and a gameplay reveal was shown at Quakecon 2018. To say that its awesome is an understatement.
{{Template:Spoilers}}
[[File:Slayer on corpses.png|400px|thumb|right|"The only thing they fear... is YOU!"
If the whole Warp, set for Khorne, actively shits their pants when the Slayer comes, you`re in for [[Rip_and_tear|FUN]].]]
We are introduced to the Maykrs of Urdak, an elder race with a techno-angelic motif that serves as the Sentinels' patron. One of them was the so-called Seraphim that empowered the Doomguy even further, turning him into the nigh-godlike and unstoppable avatar of sheer [[Awesome]] that is the Doom Slayer (seriously, the Doom Slayer is compared to a [[Titan]] on the level of the Icon of Sin). They may actually be a group of [[C’tan]], but we are not sure.

Sadly, all good things come to an end. The Sentinels were betrayed from within, the Doom Slayer banished to Hell ''again'' (eventually leading to him being entombed before the events of '''Doom 2016''') and what's worse, it turns out the Maykrs were only using the Sentinels to further their own race's objectives. What's more, the current invasion of Earth was the result of one of their long-term plans, with humanity as simply one more race that was to receive "penitence" in their place (read: the Maykers are using Hell energy to prolong their lives, and willingly let Demons eat entire worlds to that end). Yet more evidence that these guys are [[C’tan]].

The game picks up a few months after the end of the previous game with Samuel Hayden returning to Earth after the destruction of the Argent Tower on Mars that was the only way of getting free, unlimited energy out of Hell. But, he has the Crucible (confiscated from the Doom Slayer in the ending of 2016) with which he starts developing a synthesized form of Argent energy while the UAC begins to completely fall under the control of their leaders, the Hell Priests who entombed the Slayer so long ago. They start sacrificing humans left and right to start a ritual that will allow the demons to consume Earth, terraform the land to living flesh and molten lava, kill all that resist, transport their souls to Hell and refine them to pure Argent Energy while the impure Souls are made into new demons! A full-scale demonic incursion is now underway on Earth, with billions of dead, over two thirds of Earth consumed while half of the UAC has gone full Quisling to the invaders, with the other half putting up a token [[Imperial_Guard| resistance]]. All hope seems lost...

Not unless you, the Doom Slayer, has anything to say about it.

Equipped like the Predator, as deadly as the Terminator, he seeks his prey from his orbital fortress (fittingly called the Fortress of DOOM) and will stop at nothing to repel the demonic invaders, even if he has to ''personally'' [[Rip_and_tear|kill. Every. Single. Demon. With extreme prejudice.]]

Immediately after locating the first Hell Priest, the Slayer teleports onto his barge, kicks all doors in and vice grips the head off of the Priest, reducing the consumption of the Earth by 36,8%.
He then uses the Priest's head to gain access to the Citadel, where the ritual of the Priests is being held, but is being interrupted by the Khan Maykr, who tells him even he goes too far this time, before teleporting the Priests out of the Slayer's reach. Since the Hell Priest classify as Alpha Plus Psykers, (the first one being able to command his own legion of Titans AND shield himself from even nuclear bombardment) they can be found with a Celestial Locator. To get the Locator, the Slayer goes to Exultia, a Night Sentinel world, only to be told by the late King Novik that Humanity are no longer his people to be saved. Realizing that no ordinary individual will help him, the Slayer enters [[Warp|Hell]], and it's even more magnificent than Doom 2016, with gigantic walls and corridors made of flesh, abandoned [[Warlord_Battle_Titan| Sentinel Mechs]] and the remains of the Titan Demons that were killed by them, and near everything you could think of, even the Tower Of Babel in the Background. Here the Slayer finds Valen known To most of the sentinels as to most of the sentinels as the Betrayer, father of the Icon of Sin, repenting in his exile. After telling the Slayer that saving humanity will only make his burden worse, the Betrayer nevertheless activates the Celestial Locator for the Slayer, As well as giving him something he may need later.
Now being able to locate the other Priests, the Slayer goes to A cultist base in the Arctic, as yet more proof the maykrs are [[C’tan]] the priest found a extinct race of demons, and with nothing better to do, turned these things into [[Necron Destroyer|Semi-Organic Necron Destroyers]], and labelled them “Doom hunters,” After [[Rip and tear|losing]] them, And complaining about it. the Priest, in face of his impending DOOM, tries to bribe the Slayer, which [[Fail|literally cost him his head]].

Now furious, The Khan Makyr leads the last Priest to safety, while demonic activity on Earth skyrockets. Realizing Earth needs immediate backup at the Super Gore Nest in Europe after a failed attack from the [[Imperial_Guard|Earth Forces]] (with a casualty rate of over 87%), the Slayer arrives at what can only be described as Border between Slaanesh and Nurgle's Domains. Every building in the vicinity has grown flesh, teeth and openings that look like both mouths and birth canals, the air is filled with toxicity, tentacles sprouted everywhere. But after a nuclear meltdown of the local reactor which conveniently houses the heart of the Gore Nest, the problem is quickly taken care of.

Back to searching and destroying the last Priest, VEGA is sure that Samuel Hayden would be able to locate him immediately. However, a combined Demon attack on his headquarters left him badly wounded. Just as the Slayer gets to him and is about to teleport back to his fortress, the Earth quakes and a red portal opens up, out of it comes the Marauder. Imagine a [[Adeptus_Custodes|Custodes]] corrupted and empowered by Khorne but with battle tactics from Tzeentch, the Endurance of Nurgle and the Speed of Slaneesh. These guys are absolutely no joke (yes, there are more of them) and if you haven`t been playing like your life depends on it, prepare to be absolutely [[Anal_Circumference|curbstomped]].

Meanwhile, its clear that Samuel Hayden knows *way* more about the Slayer, Hell, and the Maykrs than he let on in the last game, strongly hinting that Samuel may in fact be a Maykr himself (which begs the question of what he was up to if he understood just how dangerous Hell was and how Argent Energy was made). He tells us that the last Priest hides in the Arena of Sentinel Prime, the Capital of the Night Sentinels, and the only way to gain access is hidden in the core of [[Mars|Mars]]. But instead of calling the [[Adeptus_Mechanicus|Mechanicus]] to help, the Slayer enters the Moon of Phobos, where the Battleship sized BFG 10,000 is Stationed, takes the Gun over, targets Mars and [[Exterminatus|blasts the Core open]]... Despite Samuel’s protests. He then proceeds to hop into a giant mass driver and blast himself to his next destination, [[Angry_Marines|streaking across the ruined Martian sky like a rage-fueled missile]].

Now on Sentinel Prime The game goes into who the Doom Slayer really is. It turns out the Doom Slayer really ''is'' the classic [[Doomguy]] from Doom 1, 2, and 64, who after staying behind in <s>the warp</s> hell he is eventually spat out, [[Gotrek_%26_Felix#Gotrek_in_the_Age_of_Sigmar|half-delirious and nuts from his experience of fighting off its hordes for an eternity]], unto the world of Argent D'Nur, where he is found by the ''Night Sentinels'', [[Grey Knights|an order of techno-knights dedicated to fighting demons]]. He is nursed back to sanity, and joins their order, eventually rising through their ranks due the sheer [[Rip and Tear]] he was capable of.

The final Priest, hiding in the Colosseum, is confident that the Slayer would never kill him in the arena, as it is against holy law of the Sentinels to spill Priest blood. He sends out his Gladiator, a being that even if its flesh is destroyed, its soul would prevail until its body is reformed. But the Soul resides in the gigantic shield it uses, so the Slayer destroys the shield first and then the face of the gladiator, and despite the warning shoots the final Priest to death, by shoot to death we mean blow his head clean off with the shotgun while he smugly declares how he can't be killed. Khan Maykr is rather pissed about this.

As soon as he gets back home. She manages to hack into the Fortress of Doom, turning off the power and flooding the bridge with Demons. The attack obviously fails like so many other attempts. Hayden mocking her as the Slayer restores power with Hayden's own Crucible. Now the plans of the Khan Maykr are ruined, as there are no more priests to maintain the Hell gates, so if the Earth Forces kill all the demons, they would prevail. As a desperate last resort, the Khan Maykr wants to resurrect the Icon of Sin to eradicate all life on Earth. Of course, the prospect of seeing ''another'' Earth brought to ruin has made the Doom Slayer rightly [[Rage|pissed]], and suffice to say, [[Not As Planned|the Maykrs have no idea what they've just unleashed]].
So it's time for the Doomslayer to recover his own Crucible in Taras Nabad. Which was stuck into the skull of a Titan and breaks off the hilt to prevent it's resurrection. Now it needs to be recharged. Once finished there is attack from Demons to test out your new weapon. The Crucible is a one hit kill on all but the strongest of enemies and there are respawning charges only in this area. Use this for practice time before moving forward because the OHKO drops health picks faster than normal glory kills.

Doomguy now teleports to Nekravol, the City of the Damned. It's a [[Grimdark|place of biblical torment, fire and brimstone, cages bursting with humans piled up like livestock]], [[Commorragh| a place where human souls are "tenderized" and tortured until all hope is broken and every sense but pain is gone.]] Only then can their souls be extracted and converted to pure Argent energy, which will be sent to the Khan Maykr in the City of Urdak (Heaven) A process which every [[Haemonculus]] pays respect to. As it is, things that are worthy of being called "holy" are often more horrendous than the horrors of Hell itself.

The Slayer rips and tears through all of that mercilessly, and finally destroys the transmitter tower. Its destruction resulted in the Slayer being transported straight to "Heaven", a completely unnatural location in true H.R. Giger aesthetic, littered with white and gold colors and blood red trees. In true Doomguy fashion, he interrupts the ritual that will resurrect the Icon of Sin by stabbing its heart with a dagger he got from the Betrayer. [[Not_as_planned|The Icon wakes up, corrupts the entire realm, and invites all sorts of demons to ravage Urdak]] before leaving to Earth.

Doomguy immediately follows, but is interrupted by the Khan Maykr herself. In true Eldar fashion, she accuses Doomguy for all the bad things that HE did which broke the seal to Urdak, and that the use of thousand other species as Argent Energy for her race is justified in her traditions. Doomguy then slaps the shit out of her, and even in her final moments she tells us that we have doomed all of creation. It’s likely she’s lying to hide the fact that she’s a C’tan.

Back on Earth the final fight against the Icon of Sin begins. Now with a full body it is no longer a static boss fight but a semi static. You blow parts from the Icon, until you finish it with your Crucible, by [[Awesome|slamming it into its forehead]]

===Demons===
Doom 2016 by itself has more demons than the classic games do, even though not all of them return from those games. Doom Eternal ups the count even more, although not all demons from 2016 return. Some demons are upgraded versions of a base model; they are sorted as such.

*'''The Possessed''': Zombified humans (read: wet toilet paper). They are some of the weakest enemies in the game and can easily be dispatched. In 2016 they are cheap glory kill fodder, in Eternal they are one of the chief targets of your chainsaw, flamethrower, ice bomb and all other ways with which to heal yourself.
**'''Possessed Engineers''': Little more than walking bombs. Either shoot them to detonate them or melee them to launch them and have them detonate on impact. Known as Cueballs in Eternal.
**'''Possessed Soldiers''': As above, but they have a bit more health and possess guns with which to defend themselves. They're still not much of a threat. In Eternal they are little more than Possessed with guns and flamethrowers, so make sure to keep some distance.
**'''Possessed Security''': wet toilet paper with shards of glass. Equipped with shields and shotguns, these can really ruin your day if you let them. The chainsaw and plasma gun are the best way to deal with them.
**'''Hell Razer''': 2016 exclusive, Hell Razers fight at a distance with arm-mounted laser cannons, which are actually parasites converting a human into a Hell Razer. Fire slowly and have distinct tells to their attacks. Don't pose too much of a threat: dodge their attack, get close and shotgun them.
*'''Imps''': The fodder from the original game, now quick as a hiccup. They jump all over the place, pelting you with fireballs and clawing at you if you get too close. Because they're one of the first enemies you face they don't pose much of a threat: your regular shotgun makes quick work of them (especially with the grenade mod). Also make for great healing fodder in Eternal.
**'''Gargoyles''': Added in Doom Eternal. Pretty much Imps with wings and [[Tyranid|scything talons]], they hover in place and spit acid at you. When doing so they are easy targets, so take your opportunity. Also make for good healing fodder.
**'''Prowlers''': Originally added in the 2016 multiplayer, they were promoted to regular enemies in Eternal. They function the same as Imps but with more health and they can teleport, often right behind you to claw at you. Can't be as easily chainsawed as the Imps.
*'''Carcasses''': Debuting in Doom Eternal, the Carcass' attacks are not that powerful and they don't have a lot of health. What they do have is the ability to summon energy barriers, blocking your ability to move around freely, home in on them, glory kill other demons and use explosive weapons safely. Your primary target in an encounter because eliminating them makes a fight a lot easier.
*'''Pinkies''': Ol' faithful is now covered in armor, turning them into living battering rams. They (still) roar and charge in on you, dealing significant damage upon impact. The armor soaks most damage they take from the front, so circle them and [[Meme|attack their weak point for massive damage]].
**'''Spectres''': As the Pinky, but invisible. A bit harder to deal with because of this, but thankfully a lot less common and lack the armor plating.
*'''Cacodemons''': [[Star Wars|They fly now!]] Their spit attacks slow and disorient you, and their bite attack does a lot of damage. But because they fly now you can easily pick them off with your rocket launcher or gauss cannon. In Eternal they decided to min-max there bite takes off a surprisingly large chunk of your health and there shots can stun lock you, but it comes with devastating weakness: a single grenade from your modded shotgun, your shoulder launcher, or your rocket launcher, into their mouths causes them to swallow it, instantly staggering them for an easy glory kill.
**'''Pain Elementals''': Returning in Doom Eternal, they chuck fireballs and Lost Souls at you. resistant to the grenade stagger that the Cacodemons got as there trade off (though it still works...if you can make the shot). they are more of threat that their short limed buddies could ever be.
*'''Lost Souls''': Horned, burning skulls that scream, fling themselves at you and explode for an annoying amount of damage. At least in 2016; in Eternal they also appear when summoned by a Pain Elemental which is when they function more or less the same.
*'''Revenants''': [[Meme|DOOT]]. Made from humans in a gruesome process, the Revenants have jetpacks that let them fly around to put themselves in the perfect possession to launch barrages of missiles at you. They can also claw at you for significant damage, so keep your distance and take them out. In Eternal you become able to shoot off their shoulder cannons, which pretty much cripples their ability to deal damage. Their meme potential is so great that a trumpet-equipped Revenant is a skin included in the pre-order edition of Doom Eternal.
*'''Summoners''': Only appearing in 2016, Summoners are paired down versions of the Archvile. They possess lithe bodies that lets them easily zip around and set up a summon circle away from your location, allowing them to call in aid. Sustained fire from just about any weapon will take them down.
**'''Harvesters''': Unique to the 2016 multiplayer, the only demon to be so. Harvesters move around and instead of summoning other demons will shoot balls of plasma and drain life from other players, allowing them to supercharge their regular attacks.
*'''Arachnotrons''': Back in Doom Eternal, the Arachnotrons are walking gun platforms that can cling to ceilings to get a better vantage point to shoot at you. Their weapons are very exposed, and shooting them off to limit them to their more managable barrage of bombs. Their resemblance to the Spider Mastermind from 2016 is intentional: the UAC cloned them using the Spider Mastermind's genetic material. [[Looted|and when the demonic invasion began the automated facility making them was taken over by the possesed]]...[[Just As Planned|Which was planned]]
*'''Whiplashes''': The first all-female demons introduced in Doom Eternal resembling [[lamia]]e, but don't expect any [[monstergirls]]. They are as nasty as any demon in Doom, and they use their great speed to rush you and hack away at your health or pelt you with a barrage of laser attacks from a distance. Difficult to hit, but once you start hitting them they'll go down eventually.
*'''Mancubi''': Big fat bastards equipped with heavy cannons to blast you with and flamethrowers to keep you at a distance. They're big, slow targets with slow attacks so if you can keep your distance they're not too big a threat. In Eternal they got faster (and fatter) but you can blast their flamethrowers off, severely nerfing their damage output. After that, a few missiles will easily take them out.
**'''Cyber Mancubi''': Heavily armored versions of the Mancubus. They fire globs of acid that linger on terrain for a bit, limiting your movement options. In 2016 you just pour more damage into them to take them out. In Eternal you can punch off most of their armor with a single Blood Punch, which makes it easier for you to deal with them. But because their cannons are armored you can't blast them off like you can with the regular Mancubi.
*'''Archviles''': Oh HELL no. The Summoner on crack, an Archvile can put up barriers of fire to keep you away while they Summon more demons. If you don't interrupt them you'll be facing a more difficult fight, especially if they summon a MOTHERFUCKING MARAUDER. Even when not summoning they are tough and can do a lot of damage, and buff their friends, so after taking out all Carcasses in an area they are your next target if you want to win a fight.
*'''Hell Knights''': [[World Eaters|Big dudes who revel in wrecking your shit]]. They are fast, closing the distance to pummel you or they do a jump attack for area of effect damage. Keep your distance and pump them full of lead to take them down quickly if you don't want to be taken out yourself.
**'''Dread Knights''': Cybernetically enhanced Hell Knights, appearing only in Eternal. They have armored heads, arms and abdomen as well as a pair of energy blades and are equipped with the [[Berzerker|Butcher's Nails]]. This makes their jump attacks linger in place for a bit for continual damage and they can fire lasers from their blades at you.
**'''Barons of Hell''': [[Bloodthirster|Big red bastards]] who are the toughest regular enemies in 2016. They hit like trucks and can blast you with powerful balls of green fire. The best way to deal with them are a heavily upgraded chainsaw or the BFG to not deal with their bullshit. In Eternal they have been upgraded to be immune to the chainsaw and cannot be one-shot by the BFG, so you'll have your work cut out for you. This version of the Barons are also coated in fire with obsidian skin and have burning blades coming from their lower arms, which fits given how much more dangerous they are.
*'''Tyrants''': Pretty much downgraded Cyberdemons (Looking more like the classic Cyber rather than 2016's beefy monstrosity) and one of the most powerful common enemies in the game. Packing a powerful laser cannon, a laser blade and the ability to fire missile barrages, paired with a MASSIVE pool of health the Tyrant should be elimited as fast as you can so that you can deal with the rest of the demons. The fastest way to do so is with the Crucible, which will hack a Tyrant up in no time. [[FAIL|Just make sure that you actually hit the Tyrant itself and not the fodder running around it]].
*'''Makyr Drones''': The generic rank-and-file of the Makyrs. Annoyingly resilient with laser turrets, but headshotting them is a guaranteed insta-kill that provides ammo as well.
*'''Marauders''': [[Chaos_Space_Marine|Former Night Sentinels corrupted by hell]], the Marauders are fast, deadly and a pain to kill. They possess energy shields that block all incoming damage, including the BFG, Crucible, and Un-Makyr, can attack at both long and short distance and can summon spirit wolves to hunt you down. When you are at the right distance their eyes will flash green as they swing their axe at you: use this as an opening to blast them with your Super Shotgun, then quickly switch to the Ballista and hit them. Repeat this, rip and tear, done.
*'''Doom Hunters''': Introduced as a boss and later reused as a common enemy. A species of demons driven to extinction by the Doom Slayer and brought back by the Hell Priest Daeg Ranak, the Doom Hunters resemble [[Necron Destroyer]]s with a cannon and a chainsaw for arms and missiles that can be fired from its hoversled. They have an energy shield that you need to deplete to be able to damage them or attack their hoversled rather than the main body. Infamous for being a boss that is lazily reused during the course of the game, as early as [[Rage|THE VERY NEXT COMBAT ARENA AFTER FIGHTING THE FIRST ONE]]. However the non boss versions don't have immunity to ice grenades.
*'''The Gladiator''': The Last Living Hell Knight of DOOM II and unlike the Doom Hunter has survived the Extinction event that is the Slayer. Armed with a gargantuan Shield blocking all incoming damage, and a Mace with a chain for close and distance attacks. Like the Marauder, if his Eyes blink Green you have an opening to shoot your ballista or super shotgun at him. A headshot will stagger him for a Glory kill animation, but the Slayer will simply beat the shit out of him. Phase 1 ends with the destruction of the shield, and now the Gladiator goes ballistic with TWO mace. The best approach now is to shoot at it until it dies.
*'''The Icon of Sin''': Son of the Betrayer, his Soul [[Chaos_Spawn|deformed and warped beyond recognition]], his very Existing in Realspace causing destruction and Madness. (Its described that if left unchecked, it will drag the whole material Plane to Hell. So basicly if one of The Chaos Gods himself manifests in Realspace.) The Khan Maykr thought It could be controlled, If they put it into[[Power_Armour| Power Armour.]] But then the Doom Slayer stabs the Heart itself With a Dagger [[Matt_Ward|Without carving the Name of the Betrayer into it.]] The battle itself on Paper is Pretty easy: Since The Armour Clads the Whole Icon, shoot your whole Arsenal of Weapons against it, until it breaks. While doing that show the low demons that try to protect the Icon [[Rip_and_tear|Who You Are!]]After The Armour is Gone do the Whole Process again, but this time Chip away the Flesh and Bone until the Icon collapses, giving you time To ram your Crucible into Its Brain.

===Trivia===
*The Fortress of Doom is the personal fortress monastary/man cave of the Slayer, once used for the Galaxy spanning Crusade of The Night Sentinels. Features a Teleportarium with an absurd range (Teleporting from Earth orbit to a Sentinel World far beyond the Sol system), a Hangar bay with a Sentinel Mech, and a Prison, filled with Demons the Slayer undoubtedly abducted, to slaughter them for sport.
*It is said, the "Wretch" who gave the Slayer an adamantine armor, forged from the Fires of Hell, was in fact Khorne Himself. Even if he can´t corrupt the Slayer, the carnage he brings upon demons is the equivalent of Centuries of War.
*Since the Night Sentinels went to war against the Demons, they've been effectively a bit of many 40k Chapters, since they are to an extent Psykers, deploy with Argent (warp) using Weapons, have their own Titan Legion, Use a Space fleet of Flying Castles, have an Arena for duels to the Death, and only The Strongest among them can become King.
*In Doom Eternal, the Slayers new Armor is not fully sealed, giving a look Upon His Arms, like a certain [[Kharn the Betrayer|Swell Guy]].
*Said Swell Guy <s>may or may have not been</s> probably is a Descendant of The Slayer and his "friend," Valen the previous holder of the title of betrayer. the best guess would be, that the Emperor Used the Genetic Code for The Basics of Angron, and Later the World Eaters Legion.
*The Crucible uses pure Argent power to create its blade. This means its fuel powered and therefore, since the Doomguy absorbs the power of the demons (giving them a true death) [[Grimdark|uses the life essence of Demons to kill more demons]].
*The forces of hell seem to be a serious threat even judging the absurd Standard of 40k. Samuel Hayden gave the surviving humans insane technology (full functioning AI battlesuits for Infantry, and collosal Titan mechs, Dark Age Technology so to speak) and still couldn't get the upper Hand. The only viable Solution to gain Ground seemed to be [[Exterminatus|total nuclear Annialation.]]

==Doom: The Board Game==
Yes, there is a Board Game - made by [[Fantasy Flight Games]] no less - giving the vague '/tg/ related' qualifications this site uses.
It was released around the time Doom 3 was released, though it wasn't that remarkable and is pretty hard to find nowadays.

One guy plays the baddies, the other 1-4 players play a band of unfortunate marines. The heroes start with 2-3 powerup cards, and the baddies get 5 cards from his own deck and during the game, he gets to draw more (the rate of which is equal to how many marines there are) and if his deck is empty, he gets to insta-kill one of the Marines. His guys are more varied in their movement but they can only shoot once.

The marines have three options: move 8 spaces without shooting, move 4 spaces and shoot once, or shoot twice without movement. They need to explore the board, find computers and other events as the board provides. The baddies, meanwhile, can either upgrade his monsters or bring more to the board.
Either way, his goal is to score 6 kills on the Marines.

A new board game got released shortly after May 2016 Doom, which, to my understanding, is basically just the same shit as before with a new coat of paint.
* It's different, but not too different. Similar in concept and design, with the main differences seeming to be in how the Marines play, and victory conditions for certain scenarios. Absolutely beautiful models however, and incredibly fun. Highly recommended.

==Movie==
Also (roughly) around the same time as Doom 3 was a movie starring Karl Urban and former WWE superstar Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. It pretty much replaced the whole Hell plot with some genetic experimentation to give people superpowers that only succeeds in creating hyper-aggressive mutants, and a squad of Marines sent to investigate the mayhem. It wasn't that good, with the only really 'good' scene being this one scene where it's all FPS-style like the original games and has monster killing.

Another movie was released in 2019, named ''Doom : Annihilation.'' When asked what they thought about this, id Software simply replied: "We are not involved in the movie."

==External Links==
*[https://doomwiki.org/ Doom Wiki] for all your Doom-related needs
*[https://www.doomworld.com/idgames/ /idgames/], the home of pretty much every Doom mod worth playing (and pretty much every Doom mod that isn't worth playing) since 1994.

[[Category:Video Games]][[Category:Awesome]]

Doom

2020-07-21T13:17:07Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:2DC8:A758:B77F:349E: /* DOOM Eternal */

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[[File:Doom cover poster.jpeg|thumb|If you don't already have the first level's music in your head, you may be on the wrong site.]]
{{topquote|Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combatting the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...|[[Discworld|Terry Pratchett]]}}

The granddaddy of the first person shooter, the original ass-kicking demon-slaying 3D slaughterfest, '''''Doom''''' is a franchise that demands respect even in the hallowed halls of /tg/. It was actually inspired by a [[Dungeons & Dragons]] campaign played by the founders of id Software; John Romero had given a demon lord the key to overrunning the material plane in exchange for a magic [[Katanas are Underpowered in d20|katana]] because he's an edgy little bitch like that, and John Carmack (the DM) decided it made a good premise for their new 3D game. The katana in question would later be used in Romero's game ''Daikatana'', which was a total failure for reasons that aren't important enough to go over right now.

The plot? What do you think this is, [[Fags of 4chan#Board Fags|urchin?]] Here's your plot: you are a Space Marine (no, not the 40K guy, a jumped-up soldier who is sent to fight on other planets, so closer to the [[Imperial Guard]]) stationed on Phobos. Somehow, demons break through into our reality and slaughter everyone else. Your job? Fight your way to where, you hope, there's a ride off of this rock, and make bloody mincemeat out of everything standing between you and salvation. Standing in your way are armies of zombified fellow marines and eggheads, fireball-tossing imps, hulking flesh-eating demons, cyborg-demon monstrosities, and various other hell-spawned nasties who want to kill you horribly. Good luck. You'll need it...

Although not the very ''first'' of the FPS genre (even its predecessor, [[Wolfenstein]] 3D, wasn't the first, as the history of the genre goes back all the way into 70's), Doom was definitive to the genre, so much so that "Doom Clone" was the standard nickname for many years afterwards. People are still playing it and making it even more awesome with [[Homebrew|their own custom modifications]] 24 years later, which isn't something you hear that often outside of /tg/; this is one of the main reasons why the franchise is so well-respected.

Fun fact: that iconic Doom monster, the Cacodemon, was actually inspired by the artwork for an Astral Dreadnought on the cover of the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] 1st edition [[Manual of the Planes]] splatbook. Also relevant to /tg/ is that Sandy Petersen, co-designer of [[Ghostbusters RPG]], creator of [[Call of Cthulhu]], and author of some [[RuneQuest]] stuff, worked on the game. He designed some levels (more in the sequel) and made some contributions to the monster design.

==Classic DOOM (aka The Good Shit)==
{{topquote|Welcome to DOOM, a lightning-fast virtual reality adventure where you're the toughest space trooper ever to suck vacuum. Your mission is to shoot your way through a monster-infested holocaust. Living to tell the tale if possible.|README.TXT, Doom 1.8 shareware}}
The original Doom was fast-paced and bloody compared to what came before, but wasn't afraid to vary the pace with more labyrinthine levels or make you shit your pants by dropping you into a crowd of demons when you least expected it. (Fun fact No. 2: The extra levels included in the physical version of Doom (henceforth called ''Ultimate Doom'') were built by the same guy who wrote [[Call of Cthulhu]] in just 10 weeks.) Doom II on the other hand was a circle-strafing explosion-rich gorefest, and is what basically everyone thinks of when they think of both Doom and 90s FPS gameplay in general. Plot was bare-minimum: Demons took over Phobos and ate Deimos, kill them all. Or, in Doom 2's case, Demons are trying to infest Earth in revenge, kill them all AGAIN. But this time, ''it's personal''. (No, seriously, they killed your pet bunny Daisy.) The Doom engine is extremely mod-friendly for a 90's game (as both Carmack and Romero had been big into software tinkering in their day) and the modding community is still very present and perhaps even more prolific than it was back in the day. In fact, id Software actually paid some modding groups for the right to sell their works as retail (Final Doom and the Master Levels for Doom 2). Also relevant is SIGIL, John Romero's own 25th anniversary level-pack and unofficial Episode 5 for Doom 1 that he released to the public for free (unless you wanted the special Buckethead soundtrack for [[Edgy|$6.66 USD]]).

Slightly more obscure but still relevant is Doom 64, which replaced the high-speed explode-o-rama with a stronger horror theme and more deliberate pace.

id Software then for a time turned toward more multiplayer-oriented games with the ''Quake'' franchise and gave Doom a well-earned rest.

===The Doom Comic===
{{topquote|'''DYNAMITE! I'M COOKING WITH GAS! I'VE GOTTA HANDFUL OF VERTEBRAE AND A HEADFUL OF MAD! YEAH, THAT'S YOUR SPINAL CORD, BABY! DIG IT!'''|You, the moment you read that heading}}
The origin of [[Rip and Tear]]. Possibly the most ridiculously, amazingly, stupidly 90's thing that has ever been put to paper with the possible exception of Image Comics. It has to be read to be believed. [https://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/ So go read it.]

===Monsters===
[[File:Reaperminis.jpg|thumb|right|Limited-edition monster minis from [[Reaper Miniatures]]. Admit it, you want that Cyberdemon for your Daemons of Chaos army.]]
These are the monsters you'll encounter in Doom 1, Doom 2 and their spinoffs.
*'''[[Zombie|Former human]]''': Wet toilet paper. Only dangerous until you get a shotgun.
**'''Former Sergeant''': Still wet toilet paper, but full of broken glass; if one of these assholes gets behind you before you find armor you're probably dead. Likely to be your first source for shotguns.
**'''Former Commando''': Unlike the other formers, this guy is no joke: he's durable enough to not die when breathed on and his hitscan chaingun is almost as powerful as yours. Using hordes of these guys in an open arena with no cover is the pinnacle of dick moves in Doom mapping.
*'''Imp''': The first true demon you encounter with an easy-to-dodge projectile and more health than the formers. The first meaningful enemy you meet, and runner-up for most iconic non-boss monster.
*'''Demon''': Otherwise known as '''Pinkies'''. Giant hairless gorilla with a mouth that could give a [[squig]] lessons in eating. [[Derp|They can't walk and bite at the same time]] so you can just step out of their way, but they tend to come in large groups and dance around like spastic toddlers (which makes them harder to shoot) as they run up to you.
**'''Spectre''': Demon with Predator-style optic camo. An absolute bitch to deal with in dark environments, which is naturally where you find them.
*'''Cacodemon''': Mr. [[Astral Dreadnought]] Head. These fuckers can fly and you can't look up, so have fun fighting them in close quarters where they can float out of your field of view. Dangerous, but get a rapid-fire weapon and they become a joke as you stunlock them until they are all dead. ''The'' most iconic non-boss monster, partially because of its sheer WTFery but mostly because of how easy it is to chibi/make plushies out of.
**'''Pain Elemental''': [[Meme|Meatball demon.]] Like a cacodemon, but instead of shooting fireballs, it shoots Lost Souls. Has the opposite problem to the pinkies in that [[Derp|you can stand in front of its face]] and prevent the lost souls from spawning.
*'''Lost Soul''': Floating flaming skulls that fly at you at approximately SANIC miles per hour. Fairly weak, but very fast and has a habit of nibbling at you while you focus on something more dangerous.
*'''Revenant''': [[Meme|Agitating skeleton aka '''DOOT'''.]] One of the few monsters that moves anywhere near as fast as you do, plus he runs up and tries to punch your head off if you move inside the minimum range of the homing rockets he shoots. It is an established fact that any given Doom map is automatically casuals-only unless the mapper adds at least 100 revenants.
*'''Mancubus''': [[Festus the Leechlord|HELLO I'M FUCKING FAT.]] Slow, but very tank and he has dual heavy flamers for arms that hurt like hell. Fortunately, this also applies to any nearby demons, so you can make them kill each other for your amusement just by standing between a mancubus and another monster.
*'''Arch-vile''': One of the few monsters that that's faster than the player at a full run. Sets you on fire [[Psyker|with its mind]] and revives any monsters it comes across so you have to kill them all over again. Meeting one of these guys in a slaughtermap will make you [[Khorne|hate everything forever.]]
*'''Hell Knight''': Now we're talking. [[Space Marine]] sized and equipped with a punch and moderate projectile attacks (fireballs). Shooting him in the face with a shotgun will kill him pretty quickly.
**'''Baron of Hell''': Super hell knight with double the health. Big and equipped with nasty melee and projectile attacks. Shooting ''him'' in the face with a shotgun just '''pisses him off'''. Super shotguns will work though. Probably the best known Barons are the "Bruiser Bros", the pair of Barons you fight as the bosses of the first episode.
*'''Cyberdemon''': [[Rip and tear|Is huge, and therefore has huge guts.]] Basically a (Chaos possesed?) Carnifex with a rocket launcher for an arm, and significantly faster than he looks. Without a doubt the fuckingest monster in the classic game, and practically tailor made for soaking up BFG shots.
*'''Spider Mastermind''': Doom 1’s final boss, despite being inferior in almost every way to the Cyberdemon you fight earlier. Go figure. Even more XBOX HUEG than the Cyberdemon, but has a super-chaingun instead of a rocket launcher and refuses to let up until either you or it are dead. Has the critical weakness of BFG shots up the ass due to the way its hugeness interacts with the mechanics of the classic BFG.
**'''Arachnotron''': Babby Masterminds that go fast and shit plasma at you.

==Doom 3==
In the early 2000s, Doom 3 came along. It blows chunks compared to the classics, but since the classics are so damn good it ends up being passable anyway. Since Valve had made "story-driven" shooters and "realistic" scripted encounters the in thing id decided to rip off Half-Life, grafting on elements of the original Doom that had been scrapped at the concept stage. Unfortunately the gameplay was too slow and similar to the rest of the genre, the scripting and story interludes just made the gameplay even clunkier and the big technological gimmick (per-pixel lighting) meant you had to choose between seeing what you're supposed to shoot with a crappy little flashlight and actually being able to shoot it. Supposedly the lighting effects were resource intense during development and this was the "solution" (of course we know better that they wanted to make it a quasi survival horror). Naturally the first mod for the game was duct tape so you can use the flashlight and a gun at the same time. This mod would eventually become official when the BFG Edition re-release came around about a decade later.

The plot itself is essentially a reboot - You are a generic marine who just transferred to Mars and after pissing around with all your co-workers whom you will never see in one piece again, an experiment involving a portal to Hell (This time with no reason besides the head researcher being kinda absolutely evil) goes horribly awry and now the facility is completely fucked. Your task then devolves into simply surviving, as you're cut off from any command and have to make your way to various checkpoints. Along the way, you come across an ancient artifact made by the original denizens of Mars, who made it in order to kill all the demons, and so the demons sealed it away in Hell. After a couple trips in and out of hell, you manage to understand how the artifact works (by feeding off the souls of slain demons) and use it to kill the Cyberdemon, their greatest champion, and bail home. You'd think this is the end...except the mad scientist responsible for this is revealed to have turned into a full-blown demon.

===Resurrection of Evil===
An expansion to Doom 3, this game takes the original game and puts a few nifty spins to make it feel unique like the gravity gun (because Half-Life 2 did it too). Instead of the classic plot, you are now a nameless space engineer who comes across a different and wholly demonic artifact called the Hell Heart. This makes you more of a target compared to before, as Hell sends out three special hunters to reclaim the heart, each of whom give it a special ability for you to abuse once you kill them.

==Doom 4 (aka DOOM aka DOOD aka Brutal Doom HD)==
{{topquote|They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you? You will be '''worse'''. [[Rip and Tear]], until it is '''DONE'''.|A direct order from what is either [[God-Emperor of Mankind|God's]] [[Living Saint|seraphs]] or [[Khorne]] himself. Do you really need more of a mission briefing?}}

Listen to it here[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpllUQ38CKY]

Then the latest Doom came out in May 2016. This rendition can basically be described as "3d Brutal Doom II" only sexier, with features like [[Rip and tear|ripping enemies apart with your bare hands]] and having to stay on the move to avoid being torn to shreds. The plot is also about as bare minimum as the original (albeit with a surprising amount of lore hidden away in the Codex...that makes one feel it’s set in the 40k verse), kicking the player straight into the action with waking up on Mars, immediately [[Rip and tear|smashing a zombie’s skull]], and basically being told “demonic invasion, go kill everything.” Starts with corporate big wig trying to talk you into being on his side and [[Awesome|you're answer is a solid ''"FUCK YOU" fist]]. Also, the player this time around is someone the demons call the “Doom Slayer", who has traveled through “Worlds and Time” (hinting that the Doom Slayer could very well be the original Doomguy from the first two games, having also survived Doom 64 and has been traveling Hell since, later all but confirmed in the sequel), and millennia ago [[Awesome|kicked Hell’s ass so hard that the best the demons could do is seal him away so that he wouldn’t destroy Hell]].
The Slayers testament tells in sparse detail but leaves enough imagination to realise what the Legions of Hell where up against. A near immortal being of pure hate, blessed by the Seraphims(or Khorne...which would make this an attempt at suicide), capable to stand agains Legions of Demons completely alone and harnessing their power as he slaughters them. THEN fought a [[Titan (D&D)|Titan]] of "immeasurable Power and Ferocity" with only his Sword (it was a laser sword though so there's that), killing and absorbing its power to turn them on the Demons. Desperate now, the highest [[Daemon Prince|Archdevils]] realized nothing short of a God will stop the Slayer (fitting since a god summoned it in the first place), so they prepared an elaborate Trap involving what may have been a Blackstone Sarcophagus.
It speaks for itself, of what the Bait, which lured the slayer to the temple of the bloodkeep, must have been made of...or was.
Now at the peak of his might, with sword and shield of "adamantine Strengh" he stood before [[Chaos|the Horde]], and [[rip and tear|split heads open, punched, maimed, killed, burnt]] until finally the whole temple collapsed on him and was sealed in the Cursed Sarcophagus.
Millennia passed until the UAC decides to deal with an Energy Crisis by quite literally [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|slamming an Oil Derrick on a Hell Portal to siphon off Hell Energy for power]], and just for giggles starts tomb raiding Hell for artifacts and treasures as well, ultimately running off with the Doomguy's sarcophagus. The demons see that the Doomguy’s prison/tomb is empty, and the subsequent invasion is actually a panicked attempt to stop the Doomguy from being woken up. Obviously they fail and he butchers every last one of them.

Samuel Hayden is the guy in charge of the UAC, a cyborg the size of a 40k [[Space Marine]]. He and Vega, the Mars UAC AI, are basically quest givers for the most part. His subordinate Olivia Pierce pretty much ran a cult while Hayden was pillaging artifacts from Hell, [[Grimdark|being the only one to make it back from the expeditions]]. When shit hits the fan he decides to wake the Doom Slayer up with the hopes that this wild card could help take control of the facility without causing capital damage. Of course, once awake, he goes on a rampage and busts the UACs shit, as Hayden's disregard for human life is too far even for Doomguy to take, expressing his outrage without the need for a voice actor.

So now it's up to the Doom Slayer in awesome power armor to [[Rip and Tear|rip and tear]] and dakka every demon he comes across to stop Olivia while wrecking UACs energy production. After going to hell at least once due to Olivia breaking an Argent Accumulator and making it back to Mars, then after Hayden installs a "tether" to him, Hayden sends Doomguy on a quest to find the Helix Stone, picking up the most powerful version of the BFG 9000 yet on the way(more on that below). Once he reaches the Helix Stone it directs Doomguy to acquire the Crucible, a relic in the Titan's Realm. So Doomguy has to kill the Cyberdemon to get back to hell, make a long trek and fight the three Hell Guardians who guard the Crucible and returns to Mars again. To finally stop Olivia, Hayden, being the bastard that he is, even sacrifices his old creation Vega, though unlike everyone else, at least our player character is nice enough to make a backup without anyone even bothering to ask. The Doom Slayer uses the Crucible to shutdown Hell's energy wells and releases the spirits of his old friends, the Night Sentinels.

Once Olivia is found once again, she transforms into the Spider Mastermind. If you've been collecting all the stuff like you should have, she can easily be(along with the other game other bosses in the game) cheesed by the best weapons even on the highest difficulty, with the [[Cheese|Rich get Richer]] Rune fully upgraded. Once she's dead it's the final cutscene, Where Hayden steals the "Crucible" which turns out to be an energy blade that makes a [[Lightsaber]] look like a toothpick, than sends the Doom Slayer off to who knows where with the tether he installed into the Praetor Suit earlier, disposing of a potential threat before it decides to become one. After this you experience one of the best credit sequences made for a video game in over a decade.

Mick Gordon's soundtrack gives the game the best metal music ever. BFG Division being the standout in the soundtrack. Used for two whole levels and the final boss music is a Glitch remix of it. There is also some inspiration from RPG style FPS a la Metro 2033 and [[Samus|Metroid Prime]]. As collecting Argent Energy, weapon mods, elite guard tokens, and Runes allow them to upgrade the Praetor Suit and weapons to their preferred play style. The engine allows the Doom Slayer a wide range of first-person animations. As his destruction of UAC property and actions portrays an "I'm too old for this shit" attitude. Having to fight demons for centuries doesn't make for a happy camper.

The damage of the BFG 9000 itself is notable. This thing instantly vaporizes every non-boss enemy on-screen!(and them too if you exploit a glitch. However what a player does that the devs didn't intend is dubious canon.) You read that correctly, you don't have to aim it directly at your targets to kill them. You just have to find the right opening to make it kill every demon you can. As the Plasma Bolt throws out lightening or much more likely, solar flares. That would mean the Plasma the BFG fires is likely firing a fucking miniature star with each shot! The F in BFG may stand for Fermentation, Grimdark! with science!. We can wait while you Google it.

Don't be impressed just yet. A Baron of Hell is 2000 pounds and because it turns everything into gibs it comes in contact with.
That means it has to have 7 Gigajoules of energy and would have to be heated up to over 100,000 degrees Celsius! [[Anal_Circumference|A temperature range which is only seen in small stars and nebula!]] That's not just [[GrimDark]], that's just fucking cold in the most brutal way possible and speaks to the insanity of the UAC for building this thing. Are we sure somebody didn't screw up the name? Though Brown Dwarf Gun 9000 doesn't sound as cool.(Though why is it green? Because it's blue-green! As blue in space equals very fucking hot!) In all possibility, if the Doom Slayer didn't wear his Praetor Suit. Firing the weapon would instantly annihilate him too! (since Photons are their own particle and antiparticle the word is valid) No apologies for the science jokes. They are necessary evils in explaining how the BFG 9000 works.

It also says a lot of the bosses as a direct hit will merely stun them (without using the weapon wheel glitch) while shaving off large portions of their health. So you need either a very advanced suit of Powered Armor or a significant amount of mass to survive a direct hit from the plasma bolt and its flares. The only real con to using the BFG 9000 is it's limited ammo of four shots. Though a good player can get around that if they set up their Runes correctly.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig_gQAITzIk| Science and math mostly explained in this Youtube video ]. So yeah, the BFG 9000 shoots miniature stars.

===DOOM Eternal===
{{topquote|Against all the evil that hell can conjure, all the wickedness that mankind can produce, we will send up to them, only you. Rip and Tear until it is done!|King Novik of the Night Sentinels}}

Doom Eternal was announced at E3 and a gameplay reveal was shown at Quakecon 2018. To say that its awesome is an understatement.
{{Template:Spoilers}}
[[File:Slayer on corpses.png|400px|thumb|right|"The only thing they fear... is YOU!"
If the whole Warp, set for Khorne, actively shits their pants when the Slayer comes, you`re in for [[Rip_and_tear|FUN]].]]
We are introduced to the Maykrs of Urdak, an elder race with a techno-angelic motif that serves as the Sentinels' patron. One of them was the so-called Seraphim that empowered the Doomguy even further, turning him into the nigh-godlike and unstoppable avatar of sheer [[Awesome]] that is the Doom Slayer (seriously, the Doom Slayer is compared to a [[Titan]] on the level of the Icon of Sin). They may actually be a group of [[C’tan]], but we are not sure.

Sadly, all good things come to an end. The Sentinels were betrayed from within, the Doom Slayer banished to Hell ''again'' (eventually leading to him being entombed before the events of '''Doom 2016''') and what's worse, it turns out the Maykrs were only using the Sentinels to further their own race's objectives. What's more, the current invasion of Earth was the result of one of their long-term plans, with humanity as simply one more race that was to receive "penitence" in their place (read: the Maykers are using Hell energy to prolong their lives, and willingly let Demons eat entire worlds to that end). Yet more evidence that these guys are [[C’tan]].

The game picks up a few months after the end of the previous game with Samuel Hayden returning to Earth after the destruction of the Argent Tower on Mars that was the only way of getting free, unlimited energy out of Hell. But, he has the Crucible (confiscated from the Doom Slayer in the ending of 2016) with which he starts developing a synthesized form of Argent energy while the UAC begins to completely fall under the control of their leaders, the Hell Priests who entombed the Slayer so long ago. They start sacrificing humans left and right to start a ritual that will allow the demons to consume Earth, terraform the land to living flesh and molten lava, kill all that resist, transport their souls to Hell and refine them to pure Argent Energy while the impure Souls are made into new demons! A full-scale demonic incursion is now underway on Earth, with billions of dead, over two thirds of Earth consumed while half of the UAC has gone full Quisling to the invaders, with the other half putting up a token [[Imperial_Guard| resistance]]. All hope seems lost...

Not unless you, the Doom Slayer, has anything to say about it.

Equipped like the Predator, as deadly as the Terminator, he seeks his prey from his orbital fortress (fittingly called the Fortress of DOOM) and will stop at nothing to repel the demonic invaders, even if he has to ''personally'' [[Rip_and_tear|kill. Every. Single. Demon. With extreme prejudice.]]

Immediately after locating the first Hell Priest, the Slayer teleports onto his barge, kicks all doors in and vice grips the head off of the Priest, reducing the consumption of the Earth by 36,8%.
He then uses the Priest's head to gain access to the Citadel, where the ritual of the Priests is being held, but is being interrupted by the Khan Maykr, who tells him even he goes too far this time, before teleporting the Priests out of the Slayer's reach. Since the Hell Priest classify as Alpha Plus Psykers, (the first one being able to command his own legion of Titans AND shield himself from even nuclear bombardment) they can be found with a Celestial Locator. To get the Locator, the Slayer goes to Exultia, a Night Sentinel world, only to be told by the late King Novik that Humanity are no longer his people to be saved. Realizing that no ordinary individual will help him, the Slayer enters [[Warp|Hell]], and it's even more magnificent than Doom 2016, with gigantic walls and corridors made of flesh, abandoned [[Warlord_Battle_Titan| Sentinel Mechs]] and the remains of the Titan Demons that were killed by them, and near everything you could think of, even the Tower Of Babel in the Background. Here the Slayer finds Valen known To most of the sentinels as to most of the sentinels as the Betrayer, father of the Icon of Sin, repenting in his exile. After telling the Slayer that saving humanity will only make his burden worse, the Betrayer nevertheless activates the Celestial Locator for the Slayer, As well as giving him something he may need later.
Now being able to locate the other Priests, the Slayer goes to A cultist base in the Arctic, as yet more proof the maykrs are [[C’tan]] the priest found a extinct race of demons, and with nothing better to do, turned these things into [[Necron Destroyer|Semi-Organic Necron Destroyers]], and labelled them “Doom hunters,” After [[Rip and tear|losing]] them, And complaining about it. the Priest, in face of his impending DOOM, tries to bribe the Slayer, which [[Fail|literally cost him his head]].

Now furious, The Khan Makyr leads the last Priest to safety, while demonic activity on Earth skyrockets. Realizing Earth needs immediate backup at the Super Gore Nest in Europe after a failed attack from the [[Imperial_Guard|Earth Forces]] (with a casualty rate of over 87%), the Slayer arrives at what can only be described as Border between Slaanesh and Nurgle's Domains. Every building in the vicinity has grown flesh, teeth and openings that look like both mouths and birth canals, the air is filled with toxicity, tentacles sprouted everywhere. But after a nuclear meltdown of the local reactor which conveniently houses the heart of the Gore Nest, the problem is quickly taken care of.

Back to searching and destroying the last Priest, VEGA is sure that Samuel Hayden would be able to locate him immediately. However, a combined Demon attack on his headquarters left him badly wounded. Just as the Slayer gets to him and is about to teleport back to his fortress, the Earth quakes and a red portal opens up, out of it comes the Marauder. Imagine a [[Adeptus_Custodes|Custodes]] corrupted and empowered by Khorne but with battle tactics from Tzeentch, the Endurance of Nurgle and the Speed of Slaneesh. These guys are absolutely no joke (yes, there are more of them) and if you haven`t been playing like your life depends on it, prepare to be absolutely [[Anal_Circumference|curbstomped]].

Meanwhile, its clear that Samuel Hayden knows *way* more about the Slayer, Hell, and the Maykrs than he let on in the last game, strongly hinting that Samuel may in fact be a Maykr himself (which begs the question of what he was up to if he understood just how dangerous Hell was and how Argent Energy was made). He tells us that the last Priest hides in the Arena of Sentinel Prime, the Capital of the Night Sentinels, and the only way to gain access is hidden in the core of [[Mars|Mars]]. But instead of calling the [[Adeptus_Mechanicus|Mechanicus]] to help, the Slayer enters the Moon of Phobos, where the Battleship sized BFG 10,000 is Stationed, takes the Gun over, targets Mars and [[Exterminatus|blasts the Core open]]... Despite Samuel’s protests. He then proceeds to hop into a giant mass driver and blast himself to his next destination, [[Angry_Marines|streaking across the ruined Martian sky like a rage-fueled missile]].

Now on Sentinel Prime The game goes into who the Doom Slayer really is. It turns out the Doom Slayer really ''is'' the classic [[Doomguy]] from Doom 1, 2, and 64, who after staying behind in <s>the warp</s> hell he is eventually spat out, [[Gotrek_%26_Felix#Gotrek_in_the_Age_of_Sigmar|half-delirious and nuts from his experience of fighting off its hordes for an eternity]], unto the world of Argent D'Nur, where he is found by the ''Night Sentinels'', [[Grey Knights|an order of techno-knights dedicated to fighting demons]]. He is nursed back to sanity, and joins their order, eventually rising through their ranks due the sheer [[Rip and Tear]] he was capable of.

The final Priest, hiding in the Colosseum, is confident that the Slayer would never kill him in the arena, as it is against holy law of the Sentinels to spill Priest blood. He sends out his Gladiator, a being that even if its flesh is destroyed, its soul would prevail until its body is reformed. But the Soul resides in the gigantic shield it uses, so the Slayer destroys the shield first and then the face of the gladiator, and despite the warning shoots the final Priest to death, by shoot to death we mean blow his head clean off with the shotgun while he smugly declares how he can't be killed. Khan Maykr is rather pissed about this.

As soon as he gets back home. She manages to hack into the Fortress of Doom, turning off the power and flooding the bridge with Demons. The attack obviously fails like so many other attempts. Hayden mocking her as the Slayer restores power with Hayden's own Crucible. Now the plans of the Khan Maykr are ruined, as there are no more priests to maintain the Hell gates, so if the Earth Forces kill all the demons, they would prevail. As a desperate last resort, the Khan Maykr wants to resurrect the Icon of Sin to eradicate all life on Earth. Of course, the prospect of seeing ''another'' Earth brought to ruin has made the Doom Slayer rightly [[Rage|pissed]], and suffice to say, [[Not As Planned|the Maykrs have no idea what they've just unleashed]].
So it's time for the Doomslayer to recover his own Crucible in Taras Nabad. Which was stuck into the skull of a Titan and breaks off the hilt to prevent it's resurrection. Now it needs to be recharged. Once finished there is attack from Demons to test out your new weapon. The Crucible is a one hit kill on all but the strongest of enemies and there are respawning charges only in this area. Use this for practice time before moving forward because the OHKO drops health picks faster than normal glory kills.

Doomguy now teleports to Nekravol, the City of the Damned. It's a [[Grimdark|place of biblical torment, fire and brimstone, cages bursting with humans piled up like livestock]], [[Comorragh| a place where human souls are "tenderized" and tortured until all hope is broken and every sense but pain is gone.]] Only then can their souls be extracted and converted to pure Argent energy, which will be sent to the Khan Maykr in the City of Urdak (Heaven) A process which every [[Haemonculus]] pays respect to. As it is, things that are worthy of being called "holy" are often more horrendous than the horrors of Hell itself.

The Slayer rips and tears through all of that mercilessly, and finally destroys the transmitter tower. Its destruction resulted in the Slayer being transported straight to "Heaven", a completely unnatural location in true H.R. Giger aesthetic, littered with white and gold colors and blood red trees. In true Doomguy fashion, he interrupts the ritual that will resurrect the Icon of Sin by stabbing its heart with a dagger he got from the Betrayer. [[Not_as_planned|The Icon wakes up, corrupts the entire realm, and invites all sorts of demons to ravage Urdak]] before leaving to Earth.

Doomguy immediately follows, but is interrupted by the Khan Maykr herself. In true Eldar fashion, she accuses Doomguy for all the bad things that HE did which broke the seal to Urdak, and that the use of thousand other species as Argent Energy for her race is justified in her traditions. Doomguy then slaps the shit out of her, and even in her final moments she tells us that we have doomed all of creation.

Back on Earth the final fight against the Icon of Sin begins. Now with a full body it is no longer a static boss fight but a semi static. You blow parts from the Icon, until you finish it with your Crucible, by [[Awesome|slamming it into its forehead]]

===Demons===
Doom 2016 by itself has more demons than the classic games do, even though not all of them return from those games. Doom Eternal ups the count even more, although not all demons from 2016 return. Some demons are upgraded versions of a base model; they are sorted as such.

*'''The Possessed''': Zombified humans (read: wet toilet paper). They are some of the weakest enemies in the game and can easily be dispatched. In 2016 they are cheap glory kill fodder, in Eternal they are one of the chief targets of your chainsaw, flamethrower, ice bomb and all other ways with which to heal yourself.
**'''Possessed Engineers''': Little more than walking bombs. Either shoot them to detonate them or melee them to launch them and have them detonate on impact. Known as Cueballs in Eternal.
**'''Possessed Soldiers''': As above, but they have a bit more health and possess guns with which to defend themselves. They're still not much of a threat. In Eternal they are little more than Possessed with guns and flamethrowers, so make sure to keep some distance.
**'''Possessed Security''': wet toilet paper with shards of glass. Equipped with shields and shotguns, these can really ruin your day if you let them. The chainsaw and plasma gun are the best way to deal with them.
**'''Hell Razer''': 2016 exclusive, Hell Razers fight at a distance with arm-mounted laser cannons, which are actually parasites converting a human into a Hell Razer. Fire slowly and have distinct tells to their attacks. Don't pose too much of a threat: dodge their attack, get close and shotgun them.
*'''Imps''': The fodder from the original game, now quick as a hiccup. They jump all over the place, pelting you with fireballs and clawing at you if you get too close. Because they're one of the first enemies you face they don't pose much of a threat: your regular shotgun makes quick work of them (especially with the grenade mod). Also make for great healing fodder in Eternal.
**'''Gargoyles''': Added in Doom Eternal. Pretty much Imps with wings and [[Tyranid|scything talons]], they hover in place and spit acid at you. When doing so they are easy targets, so take your opportunity. Also make for good healing fodder.
**'''Prowlers''': Originally added in the 2016 multiplayer, they were promoted to regular enemies in Eternal. They function the same as Imps but with more health and they can teleport, often right behind you to claw at you. Can't be as easily chainsawed as the Imps.
*'''Carcasses''': Debuting in Doom Eternal, the Carcass' attacks are not that powerful and they don't have a lot of health. What they do have is the ability to summon energy barriers, blocking your ability to move around freely, home in on them, glory kill other demons and use explosive weapons safely. Your primary target in an encounter because eliminating them makes a fight a lot easier.
*'''Pinkies''': Ol' faithful is now covered in armor, turning them into living battering rams. They (still) roar and charge in on you, dealing significant damage upon impact. The armor soaks most damage they take from the front, so circle them and [[Meme|attack their weak point for massive damage]].
**'''Spectres''': As the Pinky, but invisible. A bit harder to deal with because of this, but thankfully a lot less common and lack the armor plating.
*'''Cacodemons''': [[Star Wars|They fly now!]] Their spit attacks slow and disorient you, and their bite attack does a lot of damage. But because they fly now you can easily pick them off with your rocket launcher or gauss cannon. In Eternal they decided to min-max there bite takes off a surprisingly large chunk of your health and there shots can stun lock you, but it comes with devastating weakness: a single grenade from your modded shotgun, your shoulder launcher, or your rocket launcher, into their mouths causes them to swallow it, instantly staggering them for an easy glory kill.
**'''Pain Elementals''': Returning in Doom Eternal, they chuck fireballs and Lost Souls at you. resistant to the grenade stagger that the Cacodemons got as there trade off (though it still works...if you can make the shot). they are more of threat that their short limed buddies could ever be.
*'''Lost Souls''': Horned, burning skulls that scream, fling themselves at you and explode for an annoying amount of damage. At least in 2016; in Eternal they also appear when summoned by a Pain Elemental which is when they function more or less the same.
*'''Revenants''': [[Meme|DOOT]]. Made from humans in a gruesome process, the Revenants have jetpacks that let them fly around to put themselves in the perfect possession to launch barrages of missiles at you. They can also claw at you for significant damage, so keep your distance and take them out. In Eternal you become able to shoot off their shoulder cannons, which pretty much cripples their ability to deal damage. Their meme potential is so great that a trumpet-equipped Revenant is a skin included in the pre-order edition of Doom Eternal.
*'''Summoners''': Only appearing in 2016, Summoners are paired down versions of the Archvile. They possess lithe bodies that lets them easily zip around and set up a summon circle away from your location, allowing them to call in aid. Sustained fire from just about any weapon will take them down.
**'''Harvesters''': Unique to the 2016 multiplayer, the only demon to be so. Harvesters move around and instead of summoning other demons will shoot balls of plasma and drain life from other players, allowing them to supercharge their regular attacks.
*'''Arachnotrons''': Back in Doom Eternal, the Arachnotrons are walking gun platforms that can cling to ceilings to get a better vantage point to shoot at you. Their weapons are very exposed, and shooting them off to limit them to their more managable barrage of bombs. Their resemblance to the Spider Mastermind from 2016 is intentional: the UAC cloned them using the Spider Mastermind's genetic material. [[Looted|and when the demonic invasion began the automated facility making them was taken over by the possesed]]...[[Just As Planned|Which was planned]]
*'''Whiplashes''': The first all-female demons introduced in Doom Eternal resembling [[lamia]]e, but don't expect any [[monstergirls]]. They are as nasty as any demon in Doom, and they use their great speed to rush you and hack away at your health or pelt you with a barrage of laser attacks from a distance. Difficult to hit, but once you start hitting them they'll go down eventually.
*'''Mancubi''': Big fat bastards equipped with heavy cannons to blast you with and flamethrowers to keep you at a distance. They're big, slow targets with slow attacks so if you can keep your distance they're not too big a threat. In Eternal they got faster (and fatter) but you can blast their flamethrowers off, severely nerfing their damage output. After that, a few missiles will easily take them out.
**'''Cyber Mancubi''': Heavily armored versions of the Mancubus. They fire globs of acid that linger on terrain for a bit, limiting your movement options. In 2016 you just pour more damage into them to take them out. In Eternal you can punch off most of their armor with a single Blood Punch, which makes it easier for you to deal with them. But because their cannons are armored you can't blast them off like you can with the regular Mancubi.
*'''Archviles''': Oh HELL no. The Summoner on crack, an Archvile can put up barriers of fire to keep you away while they Summon more demons. If you don't interrupt them you'll be facing a more difficult fight, especially if they summon a MOTHERFUCKING MARAUDER. Even when not summoning they are tough and can do a lot of damage, and buff their friends, so after taking out all Carcasses in an area they are your next target if you want to win a fight.
*'''Hell Knights''': [[World Eaters|Big dudes who revel in wrecking your shit]]. They are fast, closing the distance to pummel you or they do a jump attack for area of effect damage. Keep your distance and pump them full of lead to take them down quickly if you don't want to be taken out yourself.
**'''Dread Knights''': Cybernetically enhanced Hell Knights, appearing only in Eternal. They have armored heads, arms and abdomen as well as a pair of energy blades and are equipped with the [[Berzerker|Butcher's Nails]]. This makes their jump attacks linger in place for a bit for continual damage and they can fire lasers from their blades at you.
**'''Barons of Hell''': [[Bloodthirster|Big red bastards]] who are the toughest regular enemies in 2016. They hit like trucks and can blast you with powerful balls of green fire. The best way to deal with them are a heavily upgraded chainsaw or the BFG to not deal with their bullshit. In Eternal they have been upgraded to be immune to the chainsaw and cannot be one-shot by the BFG, so you'll have your work cut out for you. This version of the Barons are also coated in fire with obsidian skin and have burning blades coming from their lower arms, which fits given how much more dangerous they are.
*'''Tyrants''': Pretty much downgraded Cyberdemons (Looking more like the classic Cyber rather than 2016's beefy monstrosity) and one of the most powerful common enemies in the game. Packing a powerful laser cannon, a laser blade and the ability to fire missile barrages, paired with a MASSIVE pool of health the Tyrant should be elimited as fast as you can so that you can deal with the rest of the demons. The fastest way to do so is with the Crucible, which will hack a Tyrant up in no time. [[FAIL|Just make sure that you actually hit the Tyrant itself and not the fodder running around it]].
*'''Makyr Drones''': The generic rank-and-file of the Makyrs. Annoyingly resilient with laser turrets, but headshotting them is a guaranteed insta-kill that provides ammo as well.
*'''Marauders''': [[Chaos_Space_Marine|Former Night Sentinels corrupted by hell]], the Marauders are fast, deadly and a pain to kill. They possess energy shields that block all incoming damage, including the BFG, Crucible, and Un-Makyr, can attack at both long and short distance and can summon spirit wolves to hunt you down. When you are at the right distance their eyes will flash green as they swing their axe at you: use this as an opening to blast them with your Super Shotgun, then quickly switch to the Ballista and hit them. Repeat this, rip and tear, done.
*'''Doom Hunters''': Introduced as a boss and later reused as a common enemy. A species of demons driven to extinction by the Doom Slayer and brought back by the Hell Priest Daeg Ranak, the Doom Hunters resemble [[Necron Destroyer]]s with a cannon and a chainsaw for arms and missiles that can be fired from its hoversled. They have an energy shield that you need to deplete to be able to damage them or attack their hoversled rather than the main body. Infamous for being a boss that is lazily reused during the course of the game, as early as [[Rage|THE VERY NEXT COMBAT ARENA AFTER FIGHTING THE FIRST ONE]]. However the non boss versions don't have immunity to ice grenades.
*'''The Gladiator''': The Last Living Hell Knight of DOOM II and unlike the Doom Hunter has survived the Extinction event that is the Slayer. Armed with a gargantuan Shield blocking all incoming damage, and a Mace with a chain for close and distance attacks. Like the Marauder, if his Eyes blink Green you have an opening to shoot your ballista or super shotgun at him. A headshot will stagger him for a Glory kill animation, but the Slayer will simply beat the shit out of him. Phase 1 ends with the destruction of the shield, and now the Gladiator goes ballistic with TWO mace. The best approach now is to shoot at it until it dies.
*'''The Icon of Sin''': Son of the Betrayer, his Soul [[Chaos_Spawn|deformed and warped beyond recognition]], his very Existing in Realspace causing destruction and Madness. (Its described that if left unchecked, it will drag the whole material Plane to Hell. So basicly if one of The Chaos Gods himself manifests in Realspace.) The Khan Maykr thought It could be controlled, If they put it into[[Power_Armour| Power Armour.]] But then the Doom Slayer stabs the Heart itself With a Dagger [[Matt_Ward|Without carving the Name of the Betrayer into it.]] The battle itself on Paper is Pretty easy: Since The Armour Clads the Whole Icon, shoot your whole Arsenal of Weapons against it, until it breaks. While doing that show the low demons that try to protect the Icon [[Rip_and_tear|Who You Are!]]After The Armour is Gone do the Whole Process again, but this time Chip away the Flesh and Bone until the Icon collapses, giving you time To ram your Crucible into Its Brain.

===Trivia===
*The Fortress of Doom is the personal fortress monastary/man cave of the Slayer, once used for the Galaxy spanning Crusade of The Night Sentinels. Features a Teleportarium with an absurd range (Teleporting from Earth orbit to a Sentinel World far beyond the Sol system), a Hangar bay with a Sentinel Mech, and a Prison, filled with Demons the Slayer undoubtedly abducted, to slaughter them for sport.
*It is said, the "Wretch" who gave the Slayer an adamantine armor, forged from the Fires of Hell, was in fact Khorne Himself. Even if he can´t corrupt the Slayer, the carnage he brings upon demons is the equivalent of Centuries of War.
*Since the Night Sentinels went to war against the Demons, they've been effectively a bit of many 40k Chapters, since they are to an extent Psykers, deploy with Argent (warp) using Weapons, have their own Titan Legion, Use a Space fleet of Flying Castles, have an Arena for duels to the Death, and only The Strongest among them can become King.
*In Doom Eternal, the Slayers new Armor is not fully sealed, giving a look Upon His Arms, like a certain [[Kharn the Betrayer|Swell Guy]].
*Said Swell Guy <s>may or may have not been</s> probably is a Descendant of The Slayer and his "friend," Valen the previous holder of the title of betrayer. the best guess would be, that the Emperor Used the Genetic Code for The Basics of Angron, and Later the World Eaters Legion.
*The Crucible uses pure Argent power to create its blade. This means its fuel powered and therefore, since the Doomguy absorbs the power of the demons (giving them a true death) [[Grimdark|uses the life essence of Demons to kill more demons]].
*The forces of hell seem to be a serious threat even judging the absurd Standard of 40k. Samuel Hayden gave the surviving humans insane technology (full functioning AI battlesuits for Infantry, and collosal Titan mechs, Dark Age Technology so to speak) and still couldn't get the upper Hand. The only viable Solution to gain Ground seemed to be [[Exterminatus|total nuclear Annialation.]]

==Doom: The Board Game==
Yes, there is a Board Game - made by [[Fantasy Flight Games]] no less - giving the vague '/tg/ related' qualifications this site uses.
It was released around the time Doom 3 was released, though it wasn't that remarkable and is pretty hard to find nowadays.

One guy plays the baddies, the other 1-4 players play a band of unfortunate marines. The heroes start with 2-3 powerup cards, and the baddies get 5 cards from his own deck and during the game, he gets to draw more (the rate of which is equal to how many marines there are) and if his deck is empty, he gets to insta-kill one of the Marines. His guys are more varied in their movement but they can only shoot once.

The marines have three options: move 8 spaces without shooting, move 4 spaces and shoot once, or shoot twice without movement. They need to explore the board, find computers and other events as the board provides. The baddies, meanwhile, can either upgrade his monsters or bring more to the board.
Either way, his goal is to score 6 kills on the Marines.

A new board game got released shortly after May 2016 Doom, which, to my understanding, is basically just the same shit as before with a new coat of paint.
* It's different, but not too different. Similar in concept and design, with the main differences seeming to be in how the Marines play, and victory conditions for certain scenarios. Absolutely beautiful models however, and incredibly fun. Highly recommended.

==Movie==
Also (roughly) around the same time as Doom 3 was a movie starring Karl Urban and former WWE superstar Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. It pretty much replaced the whole Hell plot with some genetic experimentation to give people superpowers that only succeeds in creating hyper-aggressive mutants, and a squad of Marines sent to investigate the mayhem. It wasn't that good, with the only really 'good' scene being this one scene where it's all FPS-style like the original games and has monster killing.

Another movie was released in 2019, named ''Doom : Annihilation.'' When asked what they thought about this, id Software simply replied: "We are not involved in the movie."

==External Links==
*[https://doomwiki.org/ Doom Wiki] for all your Doom-related needs
*[https://www.doomworld.com/idgames/ /idgames/], the home of pretty much every Doom mod worth playing (and pretty much every Doom mod that isn't worth playing) since 1994.

[[Category:Video Games]][[Category:Awesome]]

Slaanesh

2020-07-21T12:44:13Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:2DC8:A758:B77F:349E: /* Followers */

[[File:Slaanesh_mark.png|center]]
{{awesome}}
{{heresy}}
{{Promotions}}
{{/d/}}
{{sick|The hermaphrodite goddess of rape who wants to eat everyone's souls and rape them forever.}}

[[Image:Slaanesh_by_baklaher-d7dvohn.jpg|thumb|500px|right|Slaanesh... tempting you to join a [[rape|party in which you will never forget...]] [[Rule 34|also now in even more NSFW!]]]]

'''''PORN FOR THE PORN GOD! SMUT FOR THE SMUT THRONE! RAPE FOR THE RAPE TRAIN! - The Motto that Slaanesh wants YOU to believe in'''''

{{Topquote|Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.|Dr. Frank-N-Furter, Rocky Horror Picture Show}}

{{Topquote|To be loved, feelings must be rationed. To love, the doors of hysteria, fantasy, and madness may be flung open.|Anton LaVey}}

{{Topquote|An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom.|Charles Baudelaire}}

{{Topquote|Everything is good when it is excessive.|Donatien-Alphonse-François, AKA Marquis de Sade}}

{{Topquote|Blood does more than turn me on, it makes me cum. And more than the sight of it, I love the taste of it. The taste of hot, freshly killed blood... Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth are my politics! Filth is my life! Take whatever you like.|Divine, Pink Flamingoes}}

==Introduction: The Slaanesh Inquisition==
[[Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|thumb|500px|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated.] Wait, one whip is held in the hand and the other is held in the...]]
Behold '''Slaanesh''', also known as '''Shaarnor (to [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Elves and some humans]]), Shornaal (to [[Warriors of Chaos|humans and some Elves]]), The Dark Prince, the Lord of Excess, Leviathan, Lord of the Labyrinth, The Sweet Transvestite, The Lusty Argonian Maid, the Colossal Pervert''', '''the Ultimate Trap''', '''Never Went to Rehab''', '''Slut4Evar''', '''the one who ruins everything,''' '''the new thing,''' and multiple other names. Slaanesh is the [[Chaos God]] of [[/d/|perversion, Hentai]], [[Extra Heresy|shamelessness]], [[Furry|excess]], [[Rebecca Black|the most disgusting Pop Music in the history of ever]]. Heretical Fa/tg/uys cannot resist the most disgusting [[heresy]] of masturbating furiously to Slaanesh and their [[daemonette]]s.

Slaanesh was 'born' (in this case semi literally, from aspects other chaos gods had.) at the fall of the [[Eldar]], when all their torture, [[rape]], S&M, bondage, decadence, eventually tore the fabric of reality a new one and gave birth to Slaanesh along with the [[Eye of Terror]], killing the majority of their race. Thus, the final chaos god is known as the one that was literally murderfucked into existence. As a result, Slaanesh owns almost every last Eldar soul in the entire galaxy. In the event of an Eldar dying without a spirit stone, he or she becomes Slaanesh's sex toy for all of eternity day and night forever and ever (excluding Exodites, whose soul will automatically go to their planet's world spirit and Harlequins, who are scooped up by the [[Cegorach|great clown]] himself, and the faithful of Ynnead). This is why Eldar are willing to manipulate entire worlds into [[Exterminatus|exterminating]] each other just to save one of their own. The [[Dark Eldar]] take this up to eleven; because they do not use spirit stones nor are they protected like the Harlequins, Slaanesh is constantly sanding their souls down around the edges. In order to circumvent this they resort to huffing the souls of those in agony or those who have recently died. This distracts it for a while due to it having the attention span of a goldfish. (however this isn't ''just'' for survival; the Dark Eldar revel in sadism for its own sake too, this unknowingly gives her more power in a vicious cycle of murderfucking).
Of course, the descriptions above apply primarily to Slaanesh's WH40K history. In WHFB, Slaanesh has no real backstory and sort of just came out of nowhere like the other Chaos gods.

Among other things, Slaanesh is the god of sex, drugs, and <s>rock n' roll</s> It stole that from Khorne. Slaanesh is fueled by excess and pleasure, which means gratuitous amounts of anything generally fall under its influence. This actually becomes a big problem for Khorne, the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]] and the other Chaos Gods, whose worshipers have to constantly try not to enjoy themselves too much lest they end up feeding the Warp's whipping bitch. Especially when the Inquisition is all too enthusiastic about whipping heretics.It is for this reason ironically enough that she is hated by every single entity in the warp, Yes even Nurgle. More on that below.

Many horny juveniles who have just found Warhammer seem to be obsessed with Slaanesh being a God(ess) of sexual pleasure. While [[fluff]] claims this is not true, in practical terms Slaanesh is the deity of pleasure, which can be broad. Pleasure can be derived from various sources, as such this can be anything from sex, eating, companionship, and so on and so forth. However, because Chaos is Chaos, Slaanesh is mostly associated with the extremes of pleasure. Lechery, gluttony, extreme masochism, extreme sadism, Preverse sexual lust, And the like. are the pleasures their followers partake in because Slaanesh's credo is to experience everything to the fullest. This basically means: why settle for one loving wife to have sex with you when you can have a hive world of insatiable concubines to fulfill your every desire? Or why eat one disgustingly expensive luxury meal when you could eat a Paradise world's supply of the stuff? Why just resort to cutting yourself to feel the pleasure of pain when you could be chopping off lumps of your flesh to heighten the sensation of pain? Numerous examples of 40k lore have made it apparent that while those who fall to Slaanesh might start off with a desire to fulfill their rather run-of-the-mill baser instincts, it always spirals out of control. For example, in the novel ''Shadowsword'', a young nobleman makes a deal with a devilish creature so that he can possess and sleep with his lady love, who is also his first cousin. By the time all is said and done, a grand party to welcome the forces of Chaos to their world turns into a charnel scene where the guests ''imagine'' themselves to be dancing and enjoying fine food and drink, but in reality they are tearing each other apart with their bare hands and engaging in cannibalism; others believe that they are embracing when their bodies and flesh are literally melding together. These are the types of scenes that truly grant Slaanesh power.

One would think that if, as claimed, Slaanesh was the lord of all ''pleasure'' then Slaanesh would be omnipotent because, in the end, biological and psychological fact tells us that every living thing with a fucking Neuron acts in order to feel pleasure and escape pain (the "pleasure principle"). However, the point of Slaanesh is not to revel in ''any'' pain or pleasure, but to gain power from exposing mortals to the types of experiences that a sane person ''could not'' and ''would not'' ever be able to imagine in the first place. For all but the very strongest and most devout, this pollutes and twists their very souls to such an extent that they remain in thrall to Slaanesh forever. Such horizons of experience and sensation are far, far beyond the predictable inclinations and fetishes of your typical 4chan fa/tg/uy.

Even [[Khorne]], Slaanesh's primary rival, feels pleasure in killing, and Tzeentch feels pleasure in [[Just as Planned]]. That is why 40k lore tends to focus on Slaanesh as a God of the most disgusting pleasures ever, not as a God of all pleasure. Additionally, in the [[fluff]], it does state that most pleasures (like regular love or the desire to eat) that might be covered under the "pleasure principle" are too "weak" to sustain Slaanesh. Slaanesh being usually named the "God of Excess" it's more that they gain power from OVER-indulging in the small things like sex and eating, which in 40k is actually more rare than people would think. Considering that it's damn hard for anyone to get more than a piece of stale toast and a dry handjob before a grueling 48 hours of avoiding death in the name of the Emprah in the far corner of some forgotten forge-world, the only way to get enough sex, drugs, and partying in to impress Slaanesh on your average imperial world, is to be a ruthless, controlling, evil, bastard. (''It is worth noting that GW seems to have picked up somewhat on this fact. As of the latest daemon codex it does mention that Slaanesh has a particular way of influencing the other chaos gods and that they are all weary of them given that they draw some strength from the extreme behaviours they promote in their followers and are subject to themselves.'')

Slaanesh is also associated with the arts and creativity, as creativity means pursuing one's own personal desires. Self-indulgence and personal expression are the bedrock of the arts, after all. Those attracted to Slaanesh could theoretically be more than just aristocratic ravers, but also particularly eccentric artists, writers, etc. Slaanesh is Sex, Drugs, and Pop music in the purest sense of the word; not just the orgy after the concert, but the brilliant concert that caused the orgy to begin with. One could assume that, in order to prevent Slaanesh's influence from spreading, the Imperium of Man would censor not just content but style. A radically structured poem, a painting with hints of sexual content, even a deviation from traditional chord structures would presumably bring the Inquisition to your doorstep.

That Being said. It is still Despised By all of the other entities of the warp. For various reasons, some stupid, some incredibly Valid. The most important one however is that not a single being in the galaxy can exhibit mastery over there gods chosen dominion because it Gains power from this rather than their chosen chaos God. it was born lucky this way, And for that reason (among others)it is the envy of many.

If Slaanesh had a voice actor, it would be [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc80tFJpTuo Tim Curry] and/or Tilda Swinton.

==What? Warhammer?==
[[File:Slaanesh Old.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The first depiction of Slaanesh in Warhammer art.]]
In the new [[Age of Sigmar]] setting, Slaanesh has gone missing. Tyrion and Malerion worked together to capture Slaanesh, unknowningly helped along by the machinations of Tzeentch. Thus Slaanesh has been removed from the Pantheon of Chaos and replaced by the [[Horned Rat]]. Derp. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIMg2Xw4_8s While it was thought Slaanesh is being kept in a hidden warehouse while Tyrion works him/her over to make Slaanesh give back Aliathra's soul], this is revealed to be mostly true. There was speculation that Slaanesh has been removed as an active part of Age of Sigmar in some attempt by [[Games Workshop]] to make the game more accessible to children. [[Derp|Somehow, they failed to take into account that an incredibly grimdark game with very complicated rules and such a high price of entry isn't going to be popular among kiddies anyways]]. They may be doing this so parents won't be put off by the game and be willing to buy it for their children and to get past the media watchdogs to make the game more mainstream; but that most likely won't work [[Games Workshop|due to reasons discussed on GW's page here]].
[[File:AoSBeholdSlaanesh.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Slaanesh imprisoned: Unable to decide which dildo to use first, Slaanesh is effectively neutralized! Ingenious! (Also, to answer the question you never asked, Slaanesh is not circumcised. Seriously, take a close look at where those chains pierce)]]

Yet hope for Slaanesh faction lovers still remains. With Slaanesh missing, his forces have split between those trying to find and free Slaanesh (the refer to themselves as Seekers), those who are trying to claim their former master's position (they are referred to as Pretenders and consists of every Chaos Lord and Keeper of Secrets that wants to claim their former masters position as the new god of depravity) and those who have continued to be allied to Archaon in his wars against the Mortal Realms (who are referred to as Invaders). This last faction is currently the biggest and is the main Slaanesh force fighting Order; it is mostly being led by Slaanesh's greater daemons who lead Slaanesh's demonic and mortal followers but some have actually looked to venerating Archaon as their replacement deity.

With the release of the Daughter of Khaine battletome it's revealed that Slaanesh have been trapped in the void space between Ulgu (Realm of Shadows) and Hysh (Realm of Light) by the collective work of [[Tyrion]] and [[Teclis]], now gods of the Hysh, [[Malekith|Malerion]], god of Shadow, and [[Morathi]]. There the elf gods are slowly taking back the elf souls the Chaos god had devoured after the End Times, reforging them to their liking, while Slaanesh is trapped in a position that will make it impossible for him to escape. That is, unless Morathi cast a spell to get more souls than it was initially planned for her to receive, a spell that would weaken the chains that are keeping Slaanesh trapped, which of course she did. Now Slaanesh is ever so slowly getting further from Hysh and closer to Ulgu, which enabled Slaanesh's followers to learn where he was. The only things standing in their way are the fact that they can't reach Slaanesh's prison, the elf gods and their forces. Even then, Slaanesh might eventually be able to free itself.

With the announcement of Realm of Chaos: Wrath and Rapture, it appears GW is ready to bring Slaanesh back to the 40k and AoS universes, along with a (daemonic) host of new models. And this did come to pass... Though it isn't as grand as many would have hoped. It has been revealed that the 66 chains holding Slaanesh (real subtle, GW) can be broken by certain depraved or powerful acts, ie, an excess of anger from Khorne, or a Stormhost turning on the people they protect (which did happen and was engineered by Slaanesh taking a leaf from Tzeentch's book). Having broken a handful of the chains Slaanesh cast illusions to prevent the elves from discovering this, and if the majority of chains get shattered Slaanesh will be strong enough to break the rest. If Slaanesh ever did escape, he would immediately try and engulf all of Ulgu and Hysh, securing two whole realms and thereby winning the great game though Khorne would object violently, as would Archaon. However, Archaon still needed Slaanesh and was actively tracking down the trapped god. Archaon eventually succeeded at finding Slaanesh and started working to free him, though Slannesh's sass vexed Archaon. It would've worked eventually, but Archaon had a vision of the Nighthaunt and Bonereapers taking the Shyish realmgate and attacking the Varanspire. Though Archaon was pissed, since he knew the aelf gods would move Slaanesh's prison and tighten security after this, he abandoned Slaanesh and went back to the Allpoints.

== Followers ==
[[File:Slaanesh Banners.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Slaaneshi banners.]]
Slaanesh attracts mortal followers from those seeking to become charismatic and popular, but instead corrupts them to become [[Chris-Chan|colossal perverts]]; alternatively, she may attract followers from those who are already [[Ultramarines|colossal perverts]], and corrupt them to become more charismatic and popular. [[Just as planned]].

Alternatively, Slaanesh sometimes finds those in the mortal realm with far more looks than brains to approach and give them everything they could ever want because she tells them that they simply deserve it, with nothing expected in return...other than them turning into a collossal egotistical hedonist with no sense of responsibility, right and wrong, or empathy as they fuck over creation on whim or for the lulz due to the ultimate entitlement complex possible.

Slaanesh and Khorne actually compete for the same pool of followers more often than you'd think, which is part of his hatred for it. A good rule of thumb is this: if a warrior wants to be the ''best'', gets his thrills from making that perfect shot, that perfect move, [[/v/|that perfect 360 noscope,]] to [[powergamer|hone his or her skills the sharpest they can ever be]], or debasing their foes, they're Slaaneshi...even if they don’t want to be. If the thrill lies in just killing people-- the pure joy of murder-- and the skill is just a way of facilitating that, they're Khornate. Slaaneshi types also get off on the sensory overload rather than actual killing, even pain. See the Emperor's Children who get carved up by Raven Guard and won't fight back because the feeling of lightning claws dicing them up is too damn blissful. [[Troll|They also get off on the reactions they get from others]]- for example, the loyalist who Lucius tricks into slaughtering his own men. These are things that Khorne can’t stand, because No one truly deserves the punishments that the followers hand out to their victims, Khorne has standards. it takes them throws them out the window follows them out the window and murderfucks them With its arms pumping wildly. Everything that Khorne preaches Slannesh ruins.

When things come to more "social" followers, Slaanesh competes with Tzeentch, as followers of both are known for being a silver-tongued manipulative dicks with a huge hard-on for power. Here the difference lies in that Slaaneshi followers seek power for their own gain, usually through charismatic speeches and the like, while Tzeenchians often have more altruistic goals or are more interested in a process of gaining power than actually getting it, intentionally raising the challenge to impossible level just to feed their ambitions, for which they'd use the exchange of favors, blackmail, and other such forms of social politicking. The 'huge hard-on' part is also much more [[Heresy|literal]] in Slaanesh's case. However tzeentch Has realized that since personal gain is inevitable when scheming has realized that since personal gain is inevitable when scheming, slaanesh still wins, And it didn’t do anything have that bonus. It was just born lucky. So tzeentch hates it too.

Apart from [[AIDS|the obvious]], Slaanesh and Nurgle rarely have any interaction. There was the matter of the [[Isha|qt Eldar waifu]] Slaanesh wanted to keep for [[/d/|some]] [[rape|after-party]] [[FATAL|entertainment]], but since Nurgle is a fa/tg/uy at heart he couldn't resist claiming the elf waifu for himself. <s>But they're mostly over that</s> Slaanesh is over it, nurgle is not. Otherwise, their domains are just too different that they don't overlap all that much. Those who are ambitious and feel they deserve better choose Slaanesh, while those who give up or accept their lot fall into Nurgle's open, sweaty arms. Conflict occurs, but love of the self and love of others aren't as mutually exclusive as the desire to destroy and the desire to create, or a demand for the spotlight against careful orchestration. That being said nurgle is still not fond of it. Mainly Due to the aforementioned due to the aforementioned qt eldar waifu, slaanesh’s tendency to cause species to overprocreate, and because he hates hermaphrodites...They are the one thing he cannot stand.

[[File:Slaaneshi Forces.JPG|thumb|right|500px|Slaaneshi forces in their realm.]]

Slaanesh units are:
* '''[[Daemonettes]]''', hideous crab-clawed hermaphrodites or seductive scythe-clawed elf-girls depending on which fluff you choose to believe, fa/tg/uys love Daemonettes and spend much time eagerly awaiting the drawfags to provide them with moar heresy. Some fluff seems to suggest that they're hot elf girls until they decide it's time to rip your face off, at which point they become something more akin to the BDSM glam-rock black-eyed lobster women seen in the current models. Moreover, they're supposedly attractive to the beholder (though these are often xenophobic assholes and thus only consider themselves beautiful) - this means that it is very likely that their appearance is entirely subject to the individual desires of whomever is perceiving them. This is represented by their hermaphroditic/androgynous appearance, supposedly rendering them attractive regardless of preference or sexuality. Their monstrous nature is a juxtaposition of slender sensuality and horrible, flesh-tearing daemonic claws. Like many Daemons, their appearance is supposed to be highly varied, which is never represented in the models unless you combine all the old and new, modify heavily, and use [[Raging Heroes|proxies]] randomly. Daemonettes are created by Slaanesh's waking thoughts, popping into existence as she contemplates trolling Khorne, destroying a civilization from within, or getting off.
* '''[[Seekers of Slaanesh]]''', Daemonettes mounted upon [[Steeds of Slaanesh]] which are the mix of an aardvark and a raptor [[dinosaur]]; fast and lots of attacks for not much points, prone to dying in a hail of arrow/bolter fire.
* '''[[Fiends of Slaanesh]]''', large creatures that look like a bizarre cross between an aardvark and a scorpion with rows of breasts, these are created when Slaanesh dreams (because apparently Chaos Gods sleep). They're basically if a Daemonette and a Seeker had a child.
* '''[[Seeker Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', hard hitting unit/squad-wipe models, this is whom you call for when you need that pesky [[tarpit]] removed. Right now. From other end of the board. Be cautious though, these things need protection like grimoire and preferrably invisibility,or at least [[Distraction Carnifex|target mitigation]] to live long enough to do their job since they are big targets with juicy 10 armor all round. Also never ever position yourself so that the enemy could have even remote chance of charging these things: even squad of retarded [[Tau|fire warriors]] or some [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Spearmen]] can take these chariots down in melee if they get the charge. These things live and die by the hammer of wrath attacks, use them accordingly. Also comes in the "Exalted Seeker Chariot" variant, which is literally just a larger Seeker Chariot crewed by higher ranked Daemonettes.
* '''[[Hellflayer Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', what happens when you combine enough Chariots to make Daemonettes literally [[/d/|dripping]] with excitement at being in battle.
* '''[[Warriors of Chaos]]''', not-Vikings/Mongols who live in the desolate north of Warhammer Fantasy and fight against each other when not raiding the rest of the world. The closer to the [[Warp Gates]] they are, the more like living Daemons while the furthest south are generally only concerned with survival and not offending gods.
* '''[[Beastmen]]''', the rapist omnivorous (in every sense of the word) animal-mutants that infest the world. Beastmen serve all of Chaos, some serve specific gods more than others but few serve one entirely. Live to literally and canonically shit on civilization and order. Ironically treated like shit by all of the rest of Chaos. Slaanesh, in keeping with the trend, allows his followers to fuck their women and drink their wine.
* '''[[Keepers Of Secrets]]''', Slaanesh's Greater Daemons, like a Daemonette on steroids, ecstasy and Viagra. Created intentionally from Slaanesh's own darkest thoughts and desires, rather than the Daemonettes/Seekers/Fiends which are created passively, each is radically different (even though there's only been three different models, one of which is long out of production). Geniuses capable of turning entire armies to their side, or destroying civilizations. The default leaders of almost any Slaaneshi army, unless lead by a...
* '''[[Daemon Prince]]''', a human (with [[Dechala|one Elf]] as the exception) so devout to Slaanesh that they managed to become a Daemon. In Fantasy this is usually, but not always, a Warriors of Chaos Champion who made the perilous journey of getting not to little or too much attention while in her service.

=== 40k ===
* '''[[Chaos Space Marines]]''', the traitor marines of the [[Emperor's Children|third legion]] worship Slaanesh exclusively, as do warbands such as the Angels of Ecstasy and the Flawless Host. They also make up a large chunk of the Black Legion, as the Children of Torment.
** '''[[Noise Marines]]''', the specialist traitors dedicated to Slaanesh, akin to Khorne's [[Berserkers]], Nurgle's [[Plague Marines]] or Tzeentch's [[Thousand Sons]]. Aural-focused traitors who specialise in using [[Sonic Weaponry]] because the cacophony is the only thing that can register on their jaded senses anymore. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berghain Can be found IRL also.]

=== Fantasy ===
* '''[[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Druchii]]''', the Warhamer Fantasy evil Elves who are the highest ranking worshipers of Slaanesh, who they call Shornaal, in the [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Cult Of Pleasure]]. In most of the games history (4 editions out of 8 total, the first two having virtually no story whatsoever), Dark Elves had their origin in their Queen [[Morathi]] being the high priestess of Slaanesh, who corrupted her [[Malekith|son]] and about half the Elf race. While most Dark Elves torture and kill in the name of [[Khaine]], Morathi lead a cult of Chaos Elves and regularly allied with other Slaaneshi factions (other than Beastmen, because Morathi kept [[Harpies|her own]] as pets and shits on all others like a good Chaos character should). In later editions, Chaos Elves were retconned away into worshipers of [[Atharti]], [[Hekarti]], and [[Ereth Khial]], three Elven Slaanesh-expy gods, in order to redo the Dark Elf faction as evil Elves who ally with other Elves in the interest of mutual survival instead of evil Elves who just want to watch the world burn while a slave who's skin has been torn off gives them oral. This choice split many fans, some asking why Elves should worship Slaanesh when they have Khaine instead of Khorne, others asking why they worship Khaine when Khorne is better.

==Potential semi-retcon of Slaanesh in 40k==
With the release of "Rise of the Ynnari: Wild Rider" we now have daemons of Slaanesh making an appearance during the [[War in Heaven]]? Now this could be just a case of timey wimey Warp shenanigans but it could also be an indication of something else! What if Slaanesh's "birth" was actually more akin to a rebirth of something far older; the original sin if you were.

It is known that even before the Fall agents of Slaanesh were already at large in the galaxy and actively seeking to bring it into being. If Slaanesh did indeed have a presence all the way back in the War in Heaven then perhaps it has always been there, seeking a way to return, as opposed to beginning to gestate within the Empyrean during the conflict itself.

Slaanesh isn't all about sex, [[Drug|drugs]] and more sex, but actually fits all of the seven deadly sins rather well: [[/d/|Lust]], [[RAGE|Wrath]], [[Blood Ravens|Greed]], [[Perturabo|Envy]], [[Giles|Gluttony]], [[Lazy Marines|Sloth]] and [[Cato Sicarius|Pride]] all fall under Slaanesh's domain; each of which play key roles in the other God's spheres of influence also. Of course these are taken to their extremes, as is Slaanesh's trade mark, but even the other Chaos Gods are extremes in their own way, and though they are all placed above the Dark Prince in terms of power they all may "fear" the influence that Slaanesh has the potential to hold over them and are very wary that the Dark Prince may eventually eclipse them all in power.

The War in Heaven is essentially the event(s) that created "Hell" in 40k as many races with a presence in the warp fought and died in the conflict, so it makes sense that there must have been an "original Satan"-like figure as well. Of course, this could be looking too much into this and talking out of our collective arse, but what with Slaanesh in [[Age of Sigmar]] no longer being counted amongst the Four, it opens up a lot of possibilities for when the Dark Prince does eventually return.

==The Wandering Knight in the Palace of Slaanesh==

(AKA [[Kaldor Draigo]] becomes a sleeper agent. Probably. Other things are possible, but this would slap down the Mary Sue, so really, why argue?)

While the other Chaos Gods rarely welcome intruders to their lands within the immaterium, Slaanesh loves to tempt visitors to his unnatural domain, and those that dare enter the Lord of Pleasure's territory risk becoming trapped in its warped delights for eternity.

Slaanesh's realm is divided into six domains, arranged in concentric rings about the Palace of Pleasure. Each of these is a celebration of Slaanesh's desires, and while they might be mistaken for paradises, nothing in the lands of the Dark Prince is as it seems. An intruder can only reach the Palace of Pleasure, in the very heart of Slaanesh's territory, by passing through all six of the circles-an act of will beyond most souls, both mortal and demonic. One amongst the mortal visitors to his realm still looms large in the memory of Slaanesh, however-a wandering knight of the Adeptus Astartes whose resolve was as strong as silvered adamantium.

The first circle the knight pushed through was richly appointed beyond the dreams of kings. Mountains of stacked gold reached towards rainbow mosaics of gemstones in the marble vaults high above, glittering ingots and diamonds beyond count littered the ground. The knight marched past plenty a starving wretch attempting to count the innumerable gold coins. Their sallow faces twisted with mounting greed until their piles toppled, and, weeping, they had to start over again. At every corner of the crossroads stood gilded statues, some of beautiful Slaanesh, others of Daemons and mortals trapped in blissful ecstasy. The trails in the diamond dust underfoot betrayed the fact that the statues were once flesh and blood. The knight had left notions of material wealth long behind, and he strode on without touching a single coin.

Crunching his way across a beach of golden teeth, the knight came to the shores of a vast lake of dark wine. The lake was dotted with pallid islands formed from the backs of giants, each linked by criss-crossing bridges. The backward hands of each giant held up a table that groaned under the weight of a lavish feast. There, he saw mortal men gorging themselves on the banquet, wide-eyed and desperate in their hunger as others frantically tried to gulp down the lake itself. The bloated and the obese moaned in pain as they crammed ever more food into their wine stained mouths. The knight pressed on, distaste twisting his features as he passed the grisly remains of those who had consumed so much that they had physically burst apart.

The wanderer made his way through fields of golden light and soft hay, where lissom maidens and beautiful youths frolicked near-naked in the hallucinogenic musk of the lithe beasts that cavorted with them. The faces and fertile forms of the dancers were impossibly sensual, moulded to the perfect desire of the heart. The knight held his breath and closed his eyes, for though mortal pleasures were forbidden to his order, part of him was still a man. The crooning nymphs gathered around the knight, stroking his silvered armour and whispering of the sweet, carnal pleasures they would give him, but he yielded not. The severed limbs and heads that lay underfoot spoke of the truth behind the honeyed lies. Eyes shut, he cut down the daemonette seductresses around him one after another, letting revulsion guide his shining blade.

After fighting his way through the feminine contours of the foothills ahead, the knight emerged onto a balcony where he was greeted by roars of adulation and approval. An army of Space Marines so vast its number was beyond counting awaited before him on an endless plain, listening in fevered anticipation of his commands for conquest. Planetary governors nodded in obsequious anticipation, and the High Lords of Terra smiled up at him from smaller balconies of their own, motioning him to speak. The knight recognised one of the rulers from his own mortal life, and stood before him, looking deep into the Philosopher-King's eyes. Behind the mask of power and self-assurance, he saw eternal, nagging paranoia, gnawing suspicion and hidden doubts that were acid to the soul. The knight shook his head sadly and walked away.

Wearied by his ordeals, the wanderer strode on through a mesmerising woodland paradise, its maze of pathways thick with flowers and heavy with thorns. The gentle, fragrant breeze whispered to the knight of past glories, reminding him of the executions he had performed in the Emperor's name. Mirrored pools reflected the knight as a shining saint, his face serene but his sword bloodied as he artfully carved apart rank after rank of red-skinned Daemons. The warrior turned away, troubled. In the distance, he could make out tortured figures staring intently into mirror pools of their own, each held immobile by the undergrowth as whispering thorns insinuated themselves into their flesh. The wanderer turned his mind to the humility of the cell he once called home. As he did so, the path through the maze writhed and straightened out before him. So the knight trudged on.

An endless beach stretched away from the knight, and heavenly choirs sung soothing lullabies as the perfumed sea lapped at the fortress walls of his mind. The wanderer's bones cried out for rest, even if only for a moment. The warmth of the golden sun above calmed his soul, and the tide began to erode his will. His tired eyes could barely stay open. But his vision was still clear enough to see the horrible truth. The bone-white sand was made from the remains of those who had rested here and fallen into a coma of blissful indolence. His resolve hardened, the knight strode on toward the shimmering palace in the distance.

It was there, beneath the elegant spires, that the wanderer came before almighty Slaanesh. Statuesque and divinely glamorous, the deity visited him in the form of a young man possessed of an androgynous beauty-clean limbed and fresh with the vigour of youth. The knight unsheathed his rune-etched sword and made to strike him down. To his horror, he found that he could not, for the god-prince was disarming in his innocence and utterly beguiling in his manner.

Even the purest flame can be extinguished by the tide. In that single moment of doubt, the wanderer was lost. He knelt, bowing his head at last, and a single touch of the being's glowing sceptre on each shoulder sealed his fate for eternity.

== Facts ==
[[File:Nope.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Alright, who's next for "Purifying"?]]
* [[Ynnead]] is secretly Slaanesh
*[[Sanguinius]] is jealous of Slaanesh because they are the only one more fabulous than hi-{{BLAM}}
* Slaanesh wants to fuck the Emperor, but every time they try, the Big E psychically bitch-slaps them, destroys all their sex toys and sex slaves and breaks their hands so they can't fap for a while.
* Slaanesh knows that you can't spell happiness without penis.
** Slaanesh is dyslexic.
***Slaanesh also knows that you can't spell dyslexic without sex
* The title of Slaanesh's greatest mortal champion is owned by Shädman''(ayyyyy)''
* Slaanesh is bitching over the fact how their only representation in the DoW series was the [[Emperor's Children]] paint scheme. And they aren't even Slaaneshi like, they're just a generic chaos army. Although, their did grant favor to Eliphas for smashing a ton of soulstones. (And their colours aren't even correct.)
**However, concerning stated above, the developers have added noise marines for Dawn of war 2: Retribution. This has made Slaanesh quite happy. However, he/she/it is still <s>pissed off of not getting enough representation</s> OFFENDED BY THIS SILENCE, considering Nurgle gets Plague Champion hero, the Plague Marine Tier 2 unit, and the Epic Great Unclean One daemon, Khorne then gets the Khornate Chaos Lord, Bloodletters and Bloodcrushers, while Tzeentch gets the Sorcerer hero, has the most effective upgrade for the basic CSM squad (Warpfire bolts make everything in front of them shit brix and was flat out broken in earlier versions of its introduction), and all of the Anti-armor upgrades, while they only get a single unit that frankly eclipsed by either Plague Marines or generic Havocs with an autocannon.
* Charlie Sheen is their first true Daemon Prince (though he was recently diagnosed with HIV which resulted from his sexcapades, so looks like he could swing towards [[Nurgle]]. But just like [[Fulgrim]] his body probably needs to be destroyed first before he can ascend). It was nearly Malcolm Mcdowell, on account of Mcdowell's filmography including two of Slaanesh's favorite films (see below) and Mcdowell's hedonistic younger years; before Charlie had even reached puberty, Mcdowell was already far into sex and drugs both in his films and real-life. But as he got older, Mcdowell turned away from hedonism and cleaned himself up. Other contenders include Gene Simmons and Tila Tequila.
* Slaanesh gets beaten up/off by all of the other Chaos Gods on a fairly regular basis, and gets off on it.
* If it exists, [[PROMOTIONS|Slaanesh faps/shlicks/shlaps to it]].
* Tzeentch likes to trick Slaanesh into fighting Khorne to get his daily dose of lulz. Slaanesh always loses these fights pretty badly; and each time, Slaanesh takes it pretty hard. [[C.S.Goto|And this pleases them.]]
* Slaanesh is secretly depressed that have no friends. Khorne is a dick, and Tzeentch is the biggest dick there is. Nurgle is nice, but Slaanesh can't get over the fact that he cucked them. ("Can't get over it" in both a [[PROMOTIONS|positive]] and [[RAGE|negative]] sense.)
** Also, Nurgle has ''all'' the STDs, which would make him Slaanesh's natural enemy out in the wild. Isha's immunity to all diseases is better than any protection, which is a pretty substantial reason why Slaanesh liked her.
* Slaanesh gets bullied by all the other Chaos Gods constantly because none of them like him/her/it. This does not upset the balance, though, because Slaanesh likes BDSM where they being bullied and tortured by the other Chaos Gods.
* Slaanesh is Tzeentch's second favorite victim for his hijinks, because it's oh so easy to string them along with offers of porn, whores, BDSM and/or drugs.
* Khorne [[Rip and Tear|regularly tears off Slaanesh's arms]] and beats them over the head with them (Again, this inadvertently makes Slaanesh orgasm).
* Slaanesh was doping when they killed the Eldar Gods, they couldn't really beat them all without using performance enhancing drugs. (at least that what Khaine, a god of war and destruction, keeps insisting when ever someone asks him why he got both figuratively and possibly literally raped by a god(ess) of sex drugs and rock'n'roll)
** Slaanesh is always on drugs (Except psychiatric medication, they kill sex drive down to the very biology)
* Slaanesh attempted to fight the Nightbringer in a desperate attempt to win back some street cred, they got their left boob cut off for their trouble. It hurt so bad/good that it retroactively cut off the left boobs of all of Slaanesh's greater daemons and that's why they all only have one boob (or six). Given the new backstory and their time of birth, this means that Slaanesh lost against a Necron Pokémon.
* Slaanesh is a great patron of the arts. Their favourite films include:
** Hellraiser: Slaanesh's number one film. In fact, they took a lot of inspiration on many of the movie's aspects... <strike>That is, of course, a lie. They actually ripped off Hellraiser.</strike> Hellraiser ripped them off. Slaanesh had a cameo appearance in the sequel dressed as a lozenge.
** A Serbian Film: Slaanesh's second favorite movie. They already started putting NEWBORN PORN into her/his daily schedule.
** Pink Flamingos: Slaanesh's third favourite movie, which is actually a film adaptation of Slaanesh's journal. Slaanesh especially enjoyed the depictions of their hobbies (including bestiality, scat fetishes and vore), that the movie quotes them directly (see Divine's quote above).
** A Clockwork Orange: One of Slaanesh's favorite movies; not so much the book it was adapted from as it was less about sex and more a commentary on the nature of morality. (Although Slaanesh faps/shlicks to commentaries on morality too.) They like to jerk-off at many of the movie's aspects, but more notably Malcolm Mcdowell's sexy face. They also find the death of one of the characters totally hilarious, due to the fact that said character was killed by a giant rocking ceramic phallus straight to the face. '''BLOWJOB OF DEATH !!! LULZ !!!''' Unbelievable and improbable? Well here's evidence to prove it: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbRSag-L-GQ Giant rocking ceramic phallus attack !!!].
** The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Mostly because of Tim Curry (who is actually Slaanesh).
** Legend: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3J91bPrW9A Also because of Tim Curry, who practically plays a daemon prince of Slaanesh].
** Caligula: The movie written by Gore Vidal for copious amounts of sex, incest and Malcolm Mcdowell as the title character. Slaanesh's favorite scenes are when Caligula engages in an incestuous threesome with his sister and his fiance, and the giant orgies on stage (don't watch the latter if you have a weak stomach - there's a real snake in one scene and [[FATAL|you don't want to know what the woman does with it]]).
** Eyes Wide Shut. Slaanesh has heard the film described as "Just Artsy Porn", but doesn't get the criticism. It's Art and it's Porn. What's not to love?
** Event Horizon: A documentary of how he/she/it is directly responsible for fucking up humanity's first venture into the Warp.
** High Rise: Some say it holds the essence of the one time Slaaneshi and Khaine got jiggy with it.
** Salo or 120 days of Sodom: Slaanesh liked it better when they thought it was real and not just special effects.
** The Stuff: A movie about the time some railroad workers found lakes of Slaanesh's jizz at a quarry and marketed it as dessert food due to its properties, leading to numerous shenanigans and giving Slaanesh much lulz that they never learned where it came from.
* Slaanesh enjoys the Song of Ice and Fire books due to the copious amounts of incest and midget sex and the TV adaption Game of Thrones because they added sex scenes and casting several porn stars on top of this.
* Slaanesh's favorite band is GWAR, because everything with them is sex, drugs, and rock and roll in excess, even covering their audience in jizz, blood, random chemicals, and mixtures of all three, and inciting massive blood orgies constantly.
* Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams is also suspected to be one of the early influences of Slaanesh in human music culture, the singer suspected to be one of his/her/its avatars.
* Slaanesh gets ALL the pussy, as well as all the dick, cloca, ovipositor, stamen, pistil, and pilus.
* Slaanesh tried to seduce all of the remaining C'tan at once. Slaanesh ended up getting the pleasure sensors in its brain lobotomized. S/he got off on this.
* Slaanesh found Captain Flashheart so magnificent in Blackadder that they created a daemon prince in his image. Woof woof!
* Despite psychic powers supposedly being Tzeentch's specialty, Slaanesh's tend to be the really [[cheese|cheesy]] ones. 3rd edition had a minor power called Siren, which forbids the caster from being shot at in the opponent's shooting phase (it's just as broken as it sounds). 4th edition has Lash of Submission, which the Chaos Marine tactics cover the usage of (in a nutshell, GW admitted they didn't realize how good it turned out to be and it was the most used on daemon princes even though the +1I from the required MoS wasn't very useful). And what about 6th edition? While Tzeentchian sorcerers focus on pwning the shit our of enemy with (mediocre) mind bullets and warp-beams, Slaaneshi ones pack a whole lot of cheesy buffs and debuffs, which makes them so much better. Similar deal in Fantasy, where Slaanesh, some of the time, offers a better selection of magic than Tzeentch.
*Slaanesh is the only entity in existence who listens to the My Dad Wrote A Porno podcast purely for erotic purposes. He/she/it cannot understand for the life of him/her/it why no one else finds cervix-grabbing sexy.
** Still, ]they fap/shlick/???-PROFIT at this.
*Mentioning the names of Vint Cerf and Bob Kahn gives Slaanesh a massive boner/lady-boner. Though Slaanesh didn't have a hand in inventing the internet, three guesses why Slaanesh loves the internet, and the first two don't count. Mentioning Hugh Hefner also has a similar effect.
* As a patron of the arts, Slaanesh has many favorite authors, so can't pick one. Having said that, Marquis de Sade is a strong contender.
* Considering that Slaanesh is about excess, there might be several other types of Marines besides Noise Marines we don't know about:
** Smell Marines, who use gasses to do whatever they wish through peoples noses, whether it be death, insanity, paralysis, suggestibility, 'seeing colors', and so on, always permanent brain damage. This is a way to get Nurgle followers to convert.
**Sight Marines, whose weapons create wondrously intricate bloom and color effects of equally detailed and aesthetically (only to a branch of masochists masochists can't stand) pleasing. This is a way to get Khorne followers to convert.
** Touch Marines, who know the nervous system better than a Bene Gesserit, able to bring the mightiest warriors down with the right jab in the right spot, consumed with uncontrollable orgasms.
**Taste Marines, think about the spiciest thing you've ever eaten, now imagine that a million times stronger, we are talking Exterminatus level of scovilles here, literally melt your god damn tongue off heat. It's like that only worse. They would use super pepper spray that can literally eat through armor.
*Also, a former Tzeentch follower gone Slaaneshi would be incredibly dangerous: Tzeentch followers understand indeterminism (from a very distorted, cynical perspective) and also see knowledge as power per circumstance to win where force, charisma and economics cannot. A devout Slaaneshi seeks to experience everything. Thus a former Tzeentchian, already well read on enough to convince themselves they experienced it, or well read enough to steal peoples experiences, who became a hedonist addict as well would be left with one desire: to be omnipotent and thus be able to go beyond the limits of mortal imaginings in pursuit of understanding and experience for the sake of understanding and experience.
*Slaanesh tried to get in Khorne's head by seeking to understand the appeal of skulls. Instead Slaanesh got bored and invented the idea of skullfucking. '''{{Blam|DAMN IT SLAANESH WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SKULL THRONE THIS IS DISGUSTING!! IT'S EVERYWHERE!! IT'S OOZING OUT OF EVERY EYE SOCKET!!! I'M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO SIT ON THAT AGAIN AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!}}'''
**Khorne secretly loves it when Slaanesh does this, because now he has even more of an excuse to go out and collect enough skulls to replace it.
*[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Slaanesh Patrols will skull fuck your family.]]
* Slaanesh secretly wants Khorne. S/he's upset that the 'Special K' hates her/him/it.
**However, if Slaanesh ever did create a copy of him/her/their/itself, then the two would immediately try to murderfuck each other, in a kinky simulacrum of Highlander. This would apply to all of the main ruinous powers, <s>apart from</s> including Nurgle, <s>who would simply hug his</s> whose female double <s>and then get to work with said double on a particularly virulent strain of super aids/crotch rot.</s> would get jealous of Isha and conspire with Slaanesh to get rid of that home-wrecking skank.
*Slaanesh is the patron <s>god</s> <s>goddess</s> deity of bonobos (look them up).
*Slaanesh's ''only'' criticism of the Cats movie is that there are no visible genitals.
* Slaanesh #fuckedPalpatine.

== Gallery ==
{{heresy}}
{{promotions}}
{{/d/}}
<gallery>
Image:Slaaneshfaggot.jpeg|A real-life worshipper of Slaanesh.
Image:Slaaneshi.JPG|Slaanesh followers DO COCAINE!!!!!!!!
Image:Daemonette commisssar.JPG|That's a real [[commissar]], just look at the [[hat]].
Image:Daemonette02.JPG|DDaemonette
Image:Daemonette01.JPG|It's not furry, you can totally fap to it.

Image:Daemonette.JPG
Image:Slaaneshi2.JPG|Why it's good to be Slaanesh follower.
Image:Daemonxmas copy.jpg|Slaanesh can be festive as well.
Image:Lurvemudkipz.JPG|Evidence that it is possible that some [[pokémon]] are susceptible to Chaotic influence.

Image:Slaaneshi mudkips.JPG|Oh god. ;_;
Image:Slaanesh trainer.jpg|There is no excuse or explanation for this.
Image:Slaaneshijack copy.jpg|This image can be used to improve a bad thread.
Image:Irresistible.jpg|Simply Irresistible

Image:Dranon5.jpg|Mr Culexus' interpretation of Slaanesh. Notice the massive bulge in the crotch that's bigger than it's boobs.
Image:Not_too_abysmal_by_Mr_Culexus.jpg|Love can bloom in the galaxy of Transylvania
Image:1271157389405.jpg|What a Slaaneshi raptor would look like by non-GW canon.
Image:daemonette_minerva.png|Who else did you think furries worshiped?

Image:Slaanesh_LAWL.jpg|LAWL
Image:Trapmarine.jpg|Slaanesh Chaos Marines come with a little "extra"...
Image:Trapmarine_BW.jpg|... which may not be so "little".
Image:Daemonette_with_seeker_mount.jpg|She "rides" it... if you know what I mean... no seriously, zoom in if you don't believe me. Although for your sake you really should take my word for it.

Image:643214 - Daemonette Eldar Warhammer 40k howling banshee warhammer yuliapw.jpg|The more common and usual fate of Eldar.
Image:Slaanesh cosplay 1 by zk87-d2zo47q.jpg|Now 262.71% more real!
Image:Slaanesh Time.jpg|You might be mixing up love and lust.
Image:Slaanesh_miniature_closeup.jpg|Gimme some sugar

Image:Slaanesh+hr giger.jpg|H. R. Geiger is pleased
Image:Slaanesh by zk87-d2z4bpv.jpg|Lashes of Torment!
Image:Slaanesh-153102-SweetAngel.jpg|She Who Thirsts indeed
Image:Khorne-and-Slaanesh.jpg|Khorne is sooo tsundere...
Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated]

Image:Dark_Prince_of_Pleasure_Slaanesh_wfrp.jpg|From the old [[WFRP]] days
Image:MoeSlaanesh.png|How can anyone not want to serve something so utterly <s>adorable</s> heretical?
Image:1419021850273.jpg|Yes, that is a Santa outfit.
Image:Anons_fall_to_Chaos.png|Anon heralds the Age of Strife.
Image:Champion of Slaanesh RL.png| We have the makings of a daemon prince here!
Image:HereticalUseOfChainswords.gif| When you say "Go Fuck Yourself with a Chainsword," Slaanesh will take it literally.
Image:Cultist-chan24.jpg|Slaanesh has improved cultist chan
Image:Wildslaanesh.png|Slaanesh Demon corrupts children
Image:Slaanesh-sorcerer.jpeg|Slaanesh makes the Cenobites from Hellraiser look good.
</gallery>

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever
Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho!
Don't dream it, be it...
Don't dream it, be it...

==See Also==
*[[Azazel]] - The oldest existing [[Daemon Prince]] of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[Dechala]] - The oldest existing Chaos Champion special character of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[The Masque]] - Slaanesh's former fav fab Daemonette stripper, and current PR rep.
*[[Sigvald]], Slaanesh's favorite not-Caligula/not-Joffrey.
*The [[Emperor's Children]] legion - The largest contingent of sick fucks on this side of the warp. And on that side of the warp.
*[[Fulgrim]] - Primarch of the largest contingent of sick fucks ever.
*[[Fabius Bile|Fabulous Bile]] - What you get by combining a self-obsessed homosexual and Dr. Frankenstein, only this one is played by geriatric [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kane_%28wrestler%29 Glenn Jacobs] instead of young Tim Curry.
*[[Lucius]] - Considered by some as the Sickest of Fucks amongst the living.
*[[Doomrider]] - He does COCAINE!
*[[Miriael Sabathiel]] - The most infamous [[Sisters of Battle|Sister of Battle]] to fall to Slaanesh. Commonly mistaken as the ''only'' Chaos Sister of Battle by people who haven't read [[Ephrael Stern|Daemonifuge]]. Last seen hunting Eldar to give them [[Rape|hugs]].
*[[Codex - Fallen Sororitas]] - An entire homebrew army of Slaaneshi Sisters of Battle.
*[[Daemonette]] - Daemons of Slaanesh. Viewing said content is heretical, in 20 seconds or less after clicking the link, expect a squad of inquisitorial storm troopers to barge-in and blam you to hell.
*[[Reasonable Daemonette]] - Slaanesh's perversion knows no bounds. Hers does, and she respects yours.
*[[Loli D]] - The [[loli]] variant of the Slaaneshi Daemonette. Viewing said content is [[Extra Heresy|extra heretical]]. E-Commissars can and will [[Exterminatus|blam you from your monitor with the utmost prejudice]] if you click on this link.
*[http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Slaanesh's_sacrifice.pdf Slaanesh's Sacrifice] - Some Slaaneshi writefaggotry for the more heretical among you.
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRPIsrxUc_E Rick and Morty's visit to the Realm of Slaanesh]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-gHgcmFB6Q Slaanesh's visit to the Realm of Rick and Morty]
*[https://pastebin.com/5QZMB7nH Excessively Vanilla] - AKA the '''one''' time Slaanesh goes full-on vanilla, including actual marriage, handholding, and under the cover missionary sex for the sole purpose of procreation
{{Template:ChaosGods}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Hedonites of Slaanesh]]

Slaanesh

2020-07-21T11:54:35Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:2DC8:A758:B77F:349E: /* Introduction: The Slaanesh Inquisition */

[[File:Slaanesh_mark.png|center]]
{{awesome}}
{{heresy}}
{{Promotions}}
{{/d/}}
{{sick|The hermaphrodite goddess of rape who wants to eat everyone's souls and rape them forever.}}

[[Image:Slaanesh_by_baklaher-d7dvohn.jpg|thumb|500px|right|Slaanesh... tempting you to join a [[rape|party in which you will never forget...]] [[Rule 34|also now in even more NSFW!]]]]

'''''PORN FOR THE PORN GOD! SMUT FOR THE SMUT THRONE! RAPE FOR THE RAPE TRAIN! - The Motto that Slaanesh wants YOU to believe in'''''

{{Topquote|Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.|Dr. Frank-N-Furter, Rocky Horror Picture Show}}

{{Topquote|To be loved, feelings must be rationed. To love, the doors of hysteria, fantasy, and madness may be flung open.|Anton LaVey}}

{{Topquote|An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom.|Charles Baudelaire}}

{{Topquote|Everything is good when it is excessive.|Donatien-Alphonse-François, AKA Marquis de Sade}}

{{Topquote|Blood does more than turn me on, it makes me cum. And more than the sight of it, I love the taste of it. The taste of hot, freshly killed blood... Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth are my politics! Filth is my life! Take whatever you like.|Divine, Pink Flamingoes}}

==Introduction: The Slaanesh Inquisition==
[[Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|thumb|500px|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated.] Wait, one whip is held in the hand and the other is held in the...]]
Behold '''Slaanesh''', also known as '''Shaarnor (to [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Elves and some humans]]), Shornaal (to [[Warriors of Chaos|humans and some Elves]]), The Dark Prince, the Lord of Excess, Leviathan, Lord of the Labyrinth, The Sweet Transvestite, The Lusty Argonian Maid, the Colossal Pervert''', '''the Ultimate Trap''', '''Never Went to Rehab''', '''Slut4Evar''', '''the one who ruins everything,''' '''the new thing,''' and multiple other names. Slaanesh is the [[Chaos God]] of [[/d/|perversion, Hentai]], [[Extra Heresy|shamelessness]], [[Furry|excess]], [[Rebecca Black|the most disgusting Pop Music in the history of ever]]. Heretical Fa/tg/uys cannot resist the most disgusting [[heresy]] of masturbating furiously to Slaanesh and their [[daemonette]]s.

Slaanesh was 'born' (in this case semi literally, from aspects other chaos gods had.) at the fall of the [[Eldar]], when all their torture, [[rape]], S&M, bondage, decadence, eventually tore the fabric of reality a new one and gave birth to Slaanesh along with the [[Eye of Terror]], killing the majority of their race. Thus, the final chaos god is known as the one that was literally murderfucked into existence. As a result, Slaanesh owns almost every last Eldar soul in the entire galaxy. In the event of an Eldar dying without a spirit stone, he or she becomes Slaanesh's sex toy for all of eternity day and night forever and ever (excluding Exodites, whose soul will automatically go to their planet's world spirit and Harlequins, who are scooped up by the [[Cegorach|great clown]] himself, and the faithful of Ynnead). This is why Eldar are willing to manipulate entire worlds into [[Exterminatus|exterminating]] each other just to save one of their own. The [[Dark Eldar]] take this up to eleven; because they do not use spirit stones nor are they protected like the Harlequins, Slaanesh is constantly sanding their souls down around the edges. In order to circumvent this they resort to huffing the souls of those in agony or those who have recently died. This distracts it for a while due to it having the attention span of a goldfish. (however this isn't ''just'' for survival; the Dark Eldar revel in sadism for its own sake too, this unknowingly gives her more power in a vicious cycle of murderfucking).

[[Khorne]] hates Slaanesh because he (or perhaps she? or both?) is a prissy little shit, but Slaanesh is concerned with the other Chaos gods only insofar as they can be a diverting plaything. Rumors that their relationship is beyond hate and occasional angry sex are just that; Khorne, certainly, is not telling.

Of course, the descriptions above apply primarily to Slaanesh's WH40K history. In WHFB, Slaanesh has no real backstory and sort of just came out of nowhere like the other Chaos gods.

Among other things, Slaanesh is the god of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. Slaanesh is fueled by excess and pleasure, which means gratuitous amounts of anything generally fall under its influence. This actually becomes a big problem for Khorne, the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]] and the other Chaos Gods, whose worshipers have to constantly try not to enjoy themselves too much lest they end up feeding the Warp's whipping bitch. Especially when the Inquisition is all too enthusiastic about whipping heretics.

Many horny juveniles who have just found Warhammer seem to be obsessed with Slaanesh being a God(ess) of sexual pleasure. While [[fluff]] claims this is not true, in practical terms Slaanesh is the deity of pleasure, which can be broad. Pleasure can be derived from various sources, as such this can be anything from sex, eating, companionship, and so on and so forth. However, because Chaos is Chaos, Slaanesh is mostly associated with the extremes of pleasure. Lechery, gluttony, extreme masochism, and the likes, are the pleasures their followers partake in because Slaanesh's credo is to experience everything to the fullest. This basically means: why settle for one loving wife to have sex with you when you can have a hive world of insatiable concubines to fulfill your every desire? Or why eat one disgustingly expensive luxury meal when you could eat a Paradise world's supply of the stuff? Why just resort to cutting yourself to feel the pleasure of pain when you could be chopping off lumps of your flesh to heighten the sensation of pain? Numerous examples of 40k lore have made it apparent that while those who fall to Slaanesh might start off with a desire to fulfill their rather run-of-the-mill baser instincts, it always spirals out of control. For example, in the novel ''Shadowsword'', a young nobleman makes a deal with a devilish creature so that he can possess and sleep with his lady love, who is also his first cousin. By the time all is said and done, a grand party to welcome the forces of Chaos to their world turns into a charnel scene where the guests ''imagine'' themselves to be dancing and enjoying fine food and drink, but in reality they are tearing each other apart with their bare hands and engaging in cannibalism; others believe that they are embracing when their bodies and flesh are literally melding together. These are the types of scenes that truly grant Slaanesh power.

One would think that if, as claimed, Slaanesh was the lord of all ''pleasure'' then Slaanesh would be omnipotent because, in the end, biological and psychological fact tells us that every living thing with a fucking Neuron acts in order to feel pleasure and escape pain (the "pleasure principle"). However, the point of Slaanesh is not to revel in ''any'' pain or pleasure, but to gain power from exposing mortals to the types of experiences that a sane person ''could not'' and ''would not'' ever be able to imagine in the first place. For all but the very strongest and most devout, this pollutes and twists their very souls to such an extent that they remain in thrall to Slaanesh forever. Such horizons of experience and sensation are far, far beyond the predictable inclinations and fetishes of your typical 4chan fa/tg/uy.

Even [[Khorne]], Slaanesh's primary rival, feels pleasure in killing, and Tzeentch feels pleasure in [[Just as Planned]]. That is why 40k lore tends to focus on Slaanesh as a God of the most disgusting pleasures ever, not as a God of all pleasure. Additionally, in the [[fluff]], it does state that most pleasures (like regular love or the desire to eat) that might be covered under the "pleasure principle" are too "weak" to sustain Slaanesh. Slaanesh being usually named the "God of Excess" it's more that they gain power from OVER-indulging in the small things like sex and eating, which in 40k is actually more rare than people would think. Considering that it's damn hard for anyone to get more than a piece of stale toast and a dry handjob before a grueling 48 hours of avoiding death in the name of the Emprah in the far corner of some forgotten forge-world, the only way to get enough sex, drugs, and partying in to impress Slaanesh on your average imperial world, is to be a ruthless, controlling, evil, bastard. (''It is worth noting that GW seems to have picked up somewhat on this fact. As of the latest daemon codex it does mention that Slaanesh has a particular way of influencing the other chaos gods and that they are all weary of them given that they draw some strength from the extreme behaviours they promote in their followers and are subject to themselves.'')

Slaanesh is also associated with the arts and creativity, as creativity means pursuing one's own personal desires. Self-indulgence and personal expression are the bedrock of the arts, after all. Those attracted to Slaanesh could theoretically be more than just aristocratic ravers, but also particularly eccentric artists, writers, etc. Slaanesh is Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll in the purest sense of the word; not just the orgy after the concert, but the brilliant concert that caused the orgy to begin with. One could assume that, in order to prevent Slaanesh's influence from spreading, the Imperium of Man would censor not just content but style. A radically structured poem, a painting with hints of sexual content, even a deviation from traditional chord structures would presumably bring the Inquisition to your doorstep.

If Slaanesh had a voice actor, it would be [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc80tFJpTuo Tim Curry] and/or Tilda Swinton.

==What? Warhammer?==
[[File:Slaanesh Old.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The first depiction of Slaanesh in Warhammer art.]]
In the new [[Age of Sigmar]] setting, Slaanesh has gone missing. Tyrion and Malerion worked together to capture Slaanesh, unknowningly helped along by the machinations of Tzeentch. Thus Slaanesh has been removed from the Pantheon of Chaos and replaced by the [[Horned Rat]]. Derp. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIMg2Xw4_8s While it was thought Slaanesh is being kept in a hidden warehouse while Tyrion works him/her over to make Slaanesh give back Aliathra's soul], this is revealed to be mostly true. There was speculation that Slaanesh has been removed as an active part of Age of Sigmar in some attempt by [[Games Workshop]] to make the game more accessible to children. [[Derp|Somehow, they failed to take into account that an incredibly grimdark game with very complicated rules and such a high price of entry isn't going to be popular among kiddies anyways]]. They may be doing this so parents won't be put off by the game and be willing to buy it for their children and to get past the media watchdogs to make the game more mainstream; but that most likely won't work [[Games Workshop|due to reasons discussed on GW's page here]].
[[File:AoSBeholdSlaanesh.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Slaanesh imprisoned: Unable to decide which dildo to use first, Slaanesh is effectively neutralized! Ingenious! (Also, to answer the question you never asked, Slaanesh is not circumcised. Seriously, take a close look at where those chains pierce)]]

Yet hope for Slaanesh faction lovers still remains. With Slaanesh missing, his forces have split between those trying to find and free Slaanesh (the refer to themselves as Seekers), those who are trying to claim their former master's position (they are referred to as Pretenders and consists of every Chaos Lord and Keeper of Secrets that wants to claim their former masters position as the new god of depravity) and those who have continued to be allied to Archaon in his wars against the Mortal Realms (who are referred to as Invaders). This last faction is currently the biggest and is the main Slaanesh force fighting Order; it is mostly being led by Slaanesh's greater daemons who lead Slaanesh's demonic and mortal followers but some have actually looked to venerating Archaon as their replacement deity.

With the release of the Daughter of Khaine battletome it's revealed that Slaanesh have been trapped in the void space between Ulgu (Realm of Shadows) and Hysh (Realm of Light) by the collective work of [[Tyrion]] and [[Teclis]], now gods of the Hysh, [[Malekith|Malerion]], god of Shadow, and [[Morathi]]. There the elf gods are slowly taking back the elf souls the Chaos god had devoured after the End Times, reforging them to their liking, while Slaanesh is trapped in a position that will make it impossible for him to escape. That is, unless Morathi cast a spell to get more souls than it was initially planned for her to receive, a spell that would weaken the chains that are keeping Slaanesh trapped, which of course she did. Now Slaanesh is ever so slowly getting further from Hysh and closer to Ulgu, which enabled Slaanesh's followers to learn where he was. The only things standing in their way are the fact that they can't reach Slaanesh's prison, the elf gods and their forces. Even then, Slaanesh might eventually be able to free itself.

With the announcement of Realm of Chaos: Wrath and Rapture, it appears GW is ready to bring Slaanesh back to the 40k and AoS universes, along with a (daemonic) host of new models. And this did come to pass... Though it isn't as grand as many would have hoped. It has been revealed that the 66 chains holding Slaanesh (real subtle, GW) can be broken by certain depraved or powerful acts, ie, an excess of anger from Khorne, or a Stormhost turning on the people they protect (which did happen and was engineered by Slaanesh taking a leaf from Tzeentch's book). Having broken a handful of the chains Slaanesh cast illusions to prevent the elves from discovering this, and if the majority of chains get shattered Slaanesh will be strong enough to break the rest. If Slaanesh ever did escape, he would immediately try and engulf all of Ulgu and Hysh, securing two whole realms and thereby winning the great game though Khorne would object violently, as would Archaon. However, Archaon still needed Slaanesh and was actively tracking down the trapped god. Archaon eventually succeeded at finding Slaanesh and started working to free him, though Slannesh's sass vexed Archaon. It would've worked eventually, but Archaon had a vision of the Nighthaunt and Bonereapers taking the Shyish realmgate and attacking the Varanspire. Though Archaon was pissed, since he knew the aelf gods would move Slaanesh's prison and tighten security after this, he abandoned Slaanesh and went back to the Allpoints.

== Followers ==
[[File:Slaanesh Banners.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Slaaneshi banners.]]
Slaanesh attracts mortal followers from those seeking to become charismatic and popular, but instead corrupts them to become [[Chris-Chan|colossal perverts]]; alternatively, she may attract followers from those who are already [[Ultramarines|colossal perverts]], and corrupt them to become more charismatic and popular. [[Just as planned]].

Alternatively, Slaanesh sometimes finds those in the mortal realm with far more looks than brains to approach and give them everything they could ever want because she tells them that they simply deserve it, with nothing expected in return...other than them turning into a collossal egotistical hedonist with no sense of responsibility, right and wrong, or empathy as they fuck over creation on whim or for the lulz due to the ultimate entitlement complex possible.

Slaanesh and Khorne actually compete for the same pool of followers more often than you'd think, which is part of their bitter rivalry. A good rule of thumb is this: if a warrior wants to be the ''best'', gets his thrills from making that perfect shot, that perfect move, [[/v/|that perfect 360 noscope,]] to [[powergamer|hone his or her skills the sharpest they can ever be]], or debasing their foes, they're Slaaneshi. If the thrill lies in just killing people-- the pure joy of murder-- and the skill is just a way of facilitating that, they're Khornate. Slaaneshi types also get off on the sensory overload rather than actual killing, even pain. See the Emperor's Children who get carved up by Raven Guard and won't fight back because the feeling of lightning claws dicing them up is too damn blissful. [[Troll|They also get off on the reactions they get from others]]- for example, the loyalist who Lucius tricks into slaughtering his own men.

When things come to more "social" followers, Slaanesh competes with Tzeentch, as followers of both are known for being a silver-tongued manipulative dicks with a huge hard-on for power. Here the difference lies in that Slaaneshi followers seek power for their own gain, usually through charismatic speeches and the like, while Tzeenchians often have more altruistic goals or are more interested in a process of gaining power than actually getting it, intentionally raising the challenge to impossible level just to feed their ambitions, for which they'd use the exchange of favors, blackmail, and other such forms of social politicking. The 'huge hard-on' part is also much more [[Heresy|literal]] in Slaanesh's case.

Apart from [[AIDS|the obvious]], Slaanesh and Nurgle rarely have any interaction. There was the matter of the [[Isha|qt Eldar waifu]] Slaanesh wanted to keep for [[/d/|some]] [[rape|after-party]] [[FATAL|entertainment]], but since Nurgle is a fa/tg/uy at heart he couldn't resist claiming the elf waifu for himself. But they're mostly over that... mostly. Otherwise, their domains are just too different that they don't overlap all that much. Those who are ambitious and feel they deserve better choose Slaanesh, while those who give up or accept their lot fall into Nurgle's open, sweaty arms. Conflict occurs, but love of the self and love of others aren't as mutually exclusive as the desire to destroy and the desire to create, or a demand for the spotlight against careful orchestration.

[[File:Slaaneshi Forces.JPG|thumb|right|500px|Slaaneshi forces in their realm.]]

Slaanesh units are:
* '''[[Daemonettes]]''', hideous crab-clawed hermaphrodites or seductive scythe-clawed elf-girls depending on which fluff you choose to believe, fa/tg/uys love Daemonettes and spend much time eagerly awaiting the drawfags to provide them with moar heresy. Some fluff seems to suggest that they're hot elf girls until they decide it's time to rip your face off, at which point they become something more akin to the BDSM glam-rock black-eyed lobster women seen in the current models. Moreover, they're supposedly attractive to the beholder (though these are often xenophobic assholes and thus only consider themselves beautiful) - this means that it is very likely that their appearance is entirely subject to the individual desires of whomever is perceiving them. This is represented by their hermaphroditic/androgynous appearance, supposedly rendering them attractive regardless of preference or sexuality. Their monstrous nature is a juxtaposition of slender sensuality and horrible, flesh-tearing daemonic claws. Like many Daemons, their appearance is supposed to be highly varied, which is never represented in the models unless you combine all the old and new, modify heavily, and use [[Raging Heroes|proxies]] randomly. Daemonettes are created by Slaanesh's waking thoughts, popping into existence as she contemplates trolling Khorne, destroying a civilization from within, or getting off.
* '''[[Seekers of Slaanesh]]''', Daemonettes mounted upon [[Steeds of Slaanesh]] which are the mix of an aardvark and a raptor [[dinosaur]]; fast and lots of attacks for not much points, prone to dying in a hail of arrow/bolter fire.
* '''[[Fiends of Slaanesh]]''', large creatures that look like a bizarre cross between an aardvark and a scorpion with rows of breasts, these are created when Slaanesh dreams (because apparently Chaos Gods sleep). They're basically if a Daemonette and a Seeker had a child.
* '''[[Seeker Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', hard hitting unit/squad-wipe models, this is whom you call for when you need that pesky [[tarpit]] removed. Right now. From other end of the board. Be cautious though, these things need protection like grimoire and preferrably invisibility,or at least [[Distraction Carnifex|target mitigation]] to live long enough to do their job since they are big targets with juicy 10 armor all round. Also never ever position yourself so that the enemy could have even remote chance of charging these things: even squad of retarded [[Tau|fire warriors]] or some [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Spearmen]] can take these chariots down in melee if they get the charge. These things live and die by the hammer of wrath attacks, use them accordingly. Also comes in the "Exalted Seeker Chariot" variant, which is literally just a larger Seeker Chariot crewed by higher ranked Daemonettes.
* '''[[Hellflayer Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', what happens when you combine enough Chariots to make Daemonettes literally [[/d/|dripping]] with excitement at being in battle.
* '''[[Warriors of Chaos]]''', not-Vikings/Mongols who live in the desolate north of Warhammer Fantasy and fight against each other when not raiding the rest of the world. The closer to the [[Warp Gates]] they are, the more like living Daemons while the furthest south are generally only concerned with survival and not offending gods.
* '''[[Beastmen]]''', the rapist omnivorous (in every sense of the word) animal-mutants that infest the world. Beastmen serve all of Chaos, some serve specific gods more than others but few serve one entirely. Live to literally and canonically shit on civilization and order. Ironically treated like shit by all of the rest of Chaos. Slaanesh, in keeping with the trend, allows his followers to fuck their women and drink their wine.
* '''[[Keepers Of Secrets]]''', Slaanesh's Greater Daemons, like a Daemonette on steroids, ecstasy and Viagra. Created intentionally from Slaanesh's own darkest thoughts and desires, rather than the Daemonettes/Seekers/Fiends which are created passively, each is radically different (even though there's only been three different models, one of which is long out of production). Geniuses capable of turning entire armies to their side, or destroying civilizations. The default leaders of almost any Slaaneshi army, unless lead by a...
* '''[[Daemon Prince]]''', a human (with [[Dechala|one Elf]] as the exception) so devout to Slaanesh that they managed to become a Daemon. In Fantasy this is usually, but not always, a Warriors of Chaos Champion who made the perilous journey of getting not to little or too much attention while in her service.

=== 40k ===
* '''[[Chaos Space Marines]]''', the traitor marines of the [[Emperor's Children|third legion]] worship Slaanesh exclusively, as do warbands such as the Angels of Ecstasy and the Flawless Host. They also make up a large chunk of the Black Legion, as the Children of Torment.
** '''[[Noise Marines]]''', the specialist traitors dedicated to Slaanesh, akin to Khorne's [[Berserkers]], Nurgle's [[Plague Marines]] or Tzeentch's [[Thousand Sons]]. Aural-focused traitors who specialise in using [[Sonic Weaponry]] because the cacophony is the only thing that can register on their jaded senses anymore. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berghain Can be found IRL also.]

=== Fantasy ===
* '''[[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Druchii]]''', the Warhamer Fantasy evil Elves who are the highest ranking worshipers of Slaanesh, who they call Shornaal, in the [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Cult Of Pleasure]]. In most of the games history (4 editions out of 8 total, the first two having virtually no story whatsoever), Dark Elves had their origin in their Queen [[Morathi]] being the high priestess of Slaanesh, who corrupted her [[Malekith|son]] and about half the Elf race. While most Dark Elves torture and kill in the name of [[Khaine]], Morathi lead a cult of Chaos Elves and regularly allied with other Slaaneshi factions (other than Beastmen, because Morathi kept [[Harpies|her own]] as pets and shits on all others like a good Chaos character should). In later editions, Chaos Elves were retconned away into worshipers of [[Atharti]], [[Hekarti]], and [[Ereth Khial]], three Elven Slaanesh-expy gods, in order to redo the Dark Elf faction as evil Elves who ally with other Elves in the interest of mutual survival instead of evil Elves who just want to watch the world burn while a slave who's skin has been torn off gives them oral. This choice split many fans, some asking why Elves should worship Slaanesh when they have Khaine instead of Khorne, others asking why they worship Khaine when Khorne is better.

==Potential semi-retcon of Slaanesh in 40k==
With the release of "Rise of the Ynnari: Wild Rider" we now have daemons of Slaanesh making an appearance during the [[War in Heaven]]? Now this could be just a case of timey wimey Warp shenanigans but it could also be an indication of something else! What if Slaanesh's "birth" was actually more akin to a rebirth of something far older; the original sin if you were.

It is known that even before the Fall agents of Slaanesh were already at large in the galaxy and actively seeking to bring it into being. If Slaanesh did indeed have a presence all the way back in the War in Heaven then perhaps it has always been there, seeking a way to return, as opposed to beginning to gestate within the Empyrean during the conflict itself.

Slaanesh isn't all about sex, [[Drug|drugs]] and more sex, but actually fits all of the seven deadly sins rather well: [[/d/|Lust]], [[RAGE|Wrath]], [[Blood Ravens|Greed]], [[Perturabo|Envy]], [[Giles|Gluttony]], [[Lazy Marines|Sloth]] and [[Cato Sicarius|Pride]] all fall under Slaanesh's domain; each of which play key roles in the other God's spheres of influence also. Of course these are taken to their extremes, as is Slaanesh's trade mark, but even the other Chaos Gods are extremes in their own way, and though they are all placed above the Dark Prince in terms of power they all may "fear" the influence that Slaanesh has the potential to hold over them and are very wary that the Dark Prince may eventually eclipse them all in power.

The War in Heaven is essentially the event(s) that created "Hell" in 40k as many races with a presence in the warp fought and died in the conflict, so it makes sense that there must have been an "original Satan"-like figure as well. Of course, this could be looking too much into this and talking out of our collective arse, but what with Slaanesh in [[Age of Sigmar]] no longer being counted amongst the Four, it opens up a lot of possibilities for when the Dark Prince does eventually return.

==The Wandering Knight in the Palace of Slaanesh==

(AKA [[Kaldor Draigo]] becomes a sleeper agent. Probably. Other things are possible, but this would slap down the Mary Sue, so really, why argue?)

While the other Chaos Gods rarely welcome intruders to their lands within the immaterium, Slaanesh loves to tempt visitors to his unnatural domain, and those that dare enter the Lord of Pleasure's territory risk becoming trapped in its warped delights for eternity.

Slaanesh's realm is divided into six domains, arranged in concentric rings about the Palace of Pleasure. Each of these is a celebration of Slaanesh's desires, and while they might be mistaken for paradises, nothing in the lands of the Dark Prince is as it seems. An intruder can only reach the Palace of Pleasure, in the very heart of Slaanesh's territory, by passing through all six of the circles-an act of will beyond most souls, both mortal and demonic. One amongst the mortal visitors to his realm still looms large in the memory of Slaanesh, however-a wandering knight of the Adeptus Astartes whose resolve was as strong as silvered adamantium.

The first circle the knight pushed through was richly appointed beyond the dreams of kings. Mountains of stacked gold reached towards rainbow mosaics of gemstones in the marble vaults high above, glittering ingots and diamonds beyond count littered the ground. The knight marched past plenty a starving wretch attempting to count the innumerable gold coins. Their sallow faces twisted with mounting greed until their piles toppled, and, weeping, they had to start over again. At every corner of the crossroads stood gilded statues, some of beautiful Slaanesh, others of Daemons and mortals trapped in blissful ecstasy. The trails in the diamond dust underfoot betrayed the fact that the statues were once flesh and blood. The knight had left notions of material wealth long behind, and he strode on without touching a single coin.

Crunching his way across a beach of golden teeth, the knight came to the shores of a vast lake of dark wine. The lake was dotted with pallid islands formed from the backs of giants, each linked by criss-crossing bridges. The backward hands of each giant held up a table that groaned under the weight of a lavish feast. There, he saw mortal men gorging themselves on the banquet, wide-eyed and desperate in their hunger as others frantically tried to gulp down the lake itself. The bloated and the obese moaned in pain as they crammed ever more food into their wine stained mouths. The knight pressed on, distaste twisting his features as he passed the grisly remains of those who had consumed so much that they had physically burst apart.

The wanderer made his way through fields of golden light and soft hay, where lissom maidens and beautiful youths frolicked near-naked in the hallucinogenic musk of the lithe beasts that cavorted with them. The faces and fertile forms of the dancers were impossibly sensual, moulded to the perfect desire of the heart. The knight held his breath and closed his eyes, for though mortal pleasures were forbidden to his order, part of him was still a man. The crooning nymphs gathered around the knight, stroking his silvered armour and whispering of the sweet, carnal pleasures they would give him, but he yielded not. The severed limbs and heads that lay underfoot spoke of the truth behind the honeyed lies. Eyes shut, he cut down the daemonette seductresses around him one after another, letting revulsion guide his shining blade.

After fighting his way through the feminine contours of the foothills ahead, the knight emerged onto a balcony where he was greeted by roars of adulation and approval. An army of Space Marines so vast its number was beyond counting awaited before him on an endless plain, listening in fevered anticipation of his commands for conquest. Planetary governors nodded in obsequious anticipation, and the High Lords of Terra smiled up at him from smaller balconies of their own, motioning him to speak. The knight recognised one of the rulers from his own mortal life, and stood before him, looking deep into the Philosopher-King's eyes. Behind the mask of power and self-assurance, he saw eternal, nagging paranoia, gnawing suspicion and hidden doubts that were acid to the soul. The knight shook his head sadly and walked away.

Wearied by his ordeals, the wanderer strode on through a mesmerising woodland paradise, its maze of pathways thick with flowers and heavy with thorns. The gentle, fragrant breeze whispered to the knight of past glories, reminding him of the executions he had performed in the Emperor's name. Mirrored pools reflected the knight as a shining saint, his face serene but his sword bloodied as he artfully carved apart rank after rank of red-skinned Daemons. The warrior turned away, troubled. In the distance, he could make out tortured figures staring intently into mirror pools of their own, each held immobile by the undergrowth as whispering thorns insinuated themselves into their flesh. The wanderer turned his mind to the humility of the cell he once called home. As he did so, the path through the maze writhed and straightened out before him. So the knight trudged on.

An endless beach stretched away from the knight, and heavenly choirs sung soothing lullabies as the perfumed sea lapped at the fortress walls of his mind. The wanderer's bones cried out for rest, even if only for a moment. The warmth of the golden sun above calmed his soul, and the tide began to erode his will. His tired eyes could barely stay open. But his vision was still clear enough to see the horrible truth. The bone-white sand was made from the remains of those who had rested here and fallen into a coma of blissful indolence. His resolve hardened, the knight strode on toward the shimmering palace in the distance.

It was there, beneath the elegant spires, that the wanderer came before almighty Slaanesh. Statuesque and divinely glamorous, the deity visited him in the form of a young man possessed of an androgynous beauty-clean limbed and fresh with the vigour of youth. The knight unsheathed his rune-etched sword and made to strike him down. To his horror, he found that he could not, for the god-prince was disarming in his innocence and utterly beguiling in his manner.

Even the purest flame can be extinguished by the tide. In that single moment of doubt, the wanderer was lost. He knelt, bowing his head at last, and a single touch of the being's glowing sceptre on each shoulder sealed his fate for eternity.

== Facts ==
[[File:Nope.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Alright, who's next for "Purifying"?]]
* [[Ynnead]] is secretly Slaanesh
*[[Sanguinius]] is jealous of Slaanesh because they are the only one more fabulous than hi-{{BLAM}}
* Slaanesh wants to fuck the Emperor, but every time they try, the Big E psychically bitch-slaps them, destroys all their sex toys and sex slaves and breaks their hands so they can't fap for a while.
* Slaanesh knows that you can't spell happiness without penis.
** Slaanesh is dyslexic.
***Slaanesh also knows that you can't spell dyslexic without sex
* The title of Slaanesh's greatest mortal champion is owned by Shädman''(ayyyyy)''
* Slaanesh is bitching over the fact how their only representation in the DoW series was the [[Emperor's Children]] paint scheme. And they aren't even Slaaneshi like, they're just a generic chaos army. Although, their did grant favor to Eliphas for smashing a ton of soulstones. (And their colours aren't even correct.)
**However, concerning stated above, the developers have added noise marines for Dawn of war 2: Retribution. This has made Slaanesh quite happy. However, he/she/it is still <s>pissed off of not getting enough representation</s> OFFENDED BY THIS SILENCE, considering Nurgle gets Plague Champion hero, the Plague Marine Tier 2 unit, and the Epic Great Unclean One daemon, Khorne then gets the Khornate Chaos Lord, Bloodletters and Bloodcrushers, while Tzeentch gets the Sorcerer hero, has the most effective upgrade for the basic CSM squad (Warpfire bolts make everything in front of them shit brix and was flat out broken in earlier versions of its introduction), and all of the Anti-armor upgrades, while they only get a single unit that frankly eclipsed by either Plague Marines or generic Havocs with an autocannon.
* Charlie Sheen is their first true Daemon Prince (though he was recently diagnosed with HIV which resulted from his sexcapades, so looks like he could swing towards [[Nurgle]]. But just like [[Fulgrim]] his body probably needs to be destroyed first before he can ascend). It was nearly Malcolm Mcdowell, on account of Mcdowell's filmography including two of Slaanesh's favorite films (see below) and Mcdowell's hedonistic younger years; before Charlie had even reached puberty, Mcdowell was already far into sex and drugs both in his films and real-life. But as he got older, Mcdowell turned away from hedonism and cleaned himself up. Other contenders include Gene Simmons and Tila Tequila.
* Slaanesh gets beaten up/off by all of the other Chaos Gods on a fairly regular basis, and gets off on it.
* If it exists, [[PROMOTIONS|Slaanesh faps/shlicks/shlaps to it]].
* Tzeentch likes to trick Slaanesh into fighting Khorne to get his daily dose of lulz. Slaanesh always loses these fights pretty badly; and each time, Slaanesh takes it pretty hard. [[C.S.Goto|And this pleases them.]]
* Slaanesh is secretly depressed that have no friends. Khorne is a dick, and Tzeentch is the biggest dick there is. Nurgle is nice, but Slaanesh can't get over the fact that he cucked them. ("Can't get over it" in both a [[PROMOTIONS|positive]] and [[RAGE|negative]] sense.)
** Also, Nurgle has ''all'' the STDs, which would make him Slaanesh's natural enemy out in the wild. Isha's immunity to all diseases is better than any protection, which is a pretty substantial reason why Slaanesh liked her.
* Slaanesh gets bullied by all the other Chaos Gods constantly because none of them like him/her/it. This does not upset the balance, though, because Slaanesh likes BDSM where they being bullied and tortured by the other Chaos Gods.
* Slaanesh is Tzeentch's second favorite victim for his hijinks, because it's oh so easy to string them along with offers of porn, whores, BDSM and/or drugs.
* Khorne [[Rip and Tear|regularly tears off Slaanesh's arms]] and beats them over the head with them (Again, this inadvertently makes Slaanesh orgasm).
* Slaanesh was doping when they killed the Eldar Gods, they couldn't really beat them all without using performance enhancing drugs. (at least that what Khaine, a god of war and destruction, keeps insisting when ever someone asks him why he got both figuratively and possibly literally raped by a god(ess) of sex drugs and rock'n'roll)
** Slaanesh is always on drugs (Except psychiatric medication, they kill sex drive down to the very biology)
* Slaanesh attempted to fight the Nightbringer in a desperate attempt to win back some street cred, they got their left boob cut off for their trouble. It hurt so bad/good that it retroactively cut off the left boobs of all of Slaanesh's greater daemons and that's why they all only have one boob (or six). Given the new backstory and their time of birth, this means that Slaanesh lost against a Necron Pokémon.
* Slaanesh is a great patron of the arts. Their favourite films include:
** Hellraiser: Slaanesh's number one film. In fact, they took a lot of inspiration on many of the movie's aspects... <strike>That is, of course, a lie. They actually ripped off Hellraiser.</strike> Hellraiser ripped them off. Slaanesh had a cameo appearance in the sequel dressed as a lozenge.
** A Serbian Film: Slaanesh's second favorite movie. They already started putting NEWBORN PORN into her/his daily schedule.
** Pink Flamingos: Slaanesh's third favourite movie, which is actually a film adaptation of Slaanesh's journal. Slaanesh especially enjoyed the depictions of their hobbies (including bestiality, scat fetishes and vore), that the movie quotes them directly (see Divine's quote above).
** A Clockwork Orange: One of Slaanesh's favorite movies; not so much the book it was adapted from as it was less about sex and more a commentary on the nature of morality. (Although Slaanesh faps/shlicks to commentaries on morality too.) They like to jerk-off at many of the movie's aspects, but more notably Malcolm Mcdowell's sexy face. They also find the death of one of the characters totally hilarious, due to the fact that said character was killed by a giant rocking ceramic phallus straight to the face. '''BLOWJOB OF DEATH !!! LULZ !!!''' Unbelievable and improbable? Well here's evidence to prove it: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbRSag-L-GQ Giant rocking ceramic phallus attack !!!].
** The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Mostly because of Tim Curry (who is actually Slaanesh).
** Legend: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3J91bPrW9A Also because of Tim Curry, who practically plays a daemon prince of Slaanesh].
** Caligula: The movie written by Gore Vidal for copious amounts of sex, incest and Malcolm Mcdowell as the title character. Slaanesh's favorite scenes are when Caligula engages in an incestuous threesome with his sister and his fiance, and the giant orgies on stage (don't watch the latter if you have a weak stomach - there's a real snake in one scene and [[FATAL|you don't want to know what the woman does with it]]).
** Eyes Wide Shut. Slaanesh has heard the film described as "Just Artsy Porn", but doesn't get the criticism. It's Art and it's Porn. What's not to love?
** Event Horizon: A documentary of how he/she/it is directly responsible for fucking up humanity's first venture into the Warp.
** High Rise: Some say it holds the essence of the one time Slaaneshi and Khaine got jiggy with it.
** Salo or 120 days of Sodom: Slaanesh liked it better when they thought it was real and not just special effects.
** The Stuff: A movie about the time some railroad workers found lakes of Slaanesh's jizz at a quarry and marketed it as dessert food due to its properties, leading to numerous shenanigans and giving Slaanesh much lulz that they never learned where it came from.
* Slaanesh enjoys the Song of Ice and Fire books due to the copious amounts of incest and midget sex and the TV adaption Game of Thrones because they added sex scenes and casting several porn stars on top of this.
* Slaanesh's favorite band is GWAR, because everything with them is sex, drugs, and rock and roll in excess, even covering their audience in jizz, blood, random chemicals, and mixtures of all three, and inciting massive blood orgies constantly.
* Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams is also suspected to be one of the early influences of Slaanesh in human music culture, the singer suspected to be one of his/her/its avatars.
* Slaanesh gets ALL the pussy, as well as all the dick, cloca, ovipositor, stamen, pistil, and pilus.
* Slaanesh tried to seduce all of the remaining C'tan at once. Slaanesh ended up getting the pleasure sensors in its brain lobotomized. S/he got off on this.
* Slaanesh found Captain Flashheart so magnificent in Blackadder that they created a daemon prince in his image. Woof woof!
* Despite psychic powers supposedly being Tzeentch's specialty, Slaanesh's tend to be the really [[cheese|cheesy]] ones. 3rd edition had a minor power called Siren, which forbids the caster from being shot at in the opponent's shooting phase (it's just as broken as it sounds). 4th edition has Lash of Submission, which the Chaos Marine tactics cover the usage of (in a nutshell, GW admitted they didn't realize how good it turned out to be and it was the most used on daemon princes even though the +1I from the required MoS wasn't very useful). And what about 6th edition? While Tzeentchian sorcerers focus on pwning the shit our of enemy with (mediocre) mind bullets and warp-beams, Slaaneshi ones pack a whole lot of cheesy buffs and debuffs, which makes them so much better. Similar deal in Fantasy, where Slaanesh, some of the time, offers a better selection of magic than Tzeentch.
*Slaanesh is the only entity in existence who listens to the My Dad Wrote A Porno podcast purely for erotic purposes. He/she/it cannot understand for the life of him/her/it why no one else finds cervix-grabbing sexy.
** Still, ]they fap/shlick/???-PROFIT at this.
*Mentioning the names of Vint Cerf and Bob Kahn gives Slaanesh a massive boner/lady-boner. Though Slaanesh didn't have a hand in inventing the internet, three guesses why Slaanesh loves the internet, and the first two don't count. Mentioning Hugh Hefner also has a similar effect.
* As a patron of the arts, Slaanesh has many favorite authors, so can't pick one. Having said that, Marquis de Sade is a strong contender.
* Considering that Slaanesh is about excess, there might be several other types of Marines besides Noise Marines we don't know about:
** Smell Marines, who use gasses to do whatever they wish through peoples noses, whether it be death, insanity, paralysis, suggestibility, 'seeing colors', and so on, always permanent brain damage. This is a way to get Nurgle followers to convert.
**Sight Marines, whose weapons create wondrously intricate bloom and color effects of equally detailed and aesthetically (only to a branch of masochists masochists can't stand) pleasing. This is a way to get Khorne followers to convert.
** Touch Marines, who know the nervous system better than a Bene Gesserit, able to bring the mightiest warriors down with the right jab in the right spot, consumed with uncontrollable orgasms.
**Taste Marines, think about the spiciest thing you've ever eaten, now imagine that a million times stronger, we are talking Exterminatus level of scovilles here, literally melt your god damn tongue off heat. It's like that only worse. They would use super pepper spray that can literally eat through armor.
*Also, a former Tzeentch follower gone Slaaneshi would be incredibly dangerous: Tzeentch followers understand indeterminism (from a very distorted, cynical perspective) and also see knowledge as power per circumstance to win where force, charisma and economics cannot. A devout Slaaneshi seeks to experience everything. Thus a former Tzeentchian, already well read on enough to convince themselves they experienced it, or well read enough to steal peoples experiences, who became a hedonist addict as well would be left with one desire: to be omnipotent and thus be able to go beyond the limits of mortal imaginings in pursuit of understanding and experience for the sake of understanding and experience.
*Slaanesh tried to get in Khorne's head by seeking to understand the appeal of skulls. Instead Slaanesh got bored and invented the idea of skullfucking. '''{{Blam|DAMN IT SLAANESH WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SKULL THRONE THIS IS DISGUSTING!! IT'S EVERYWHERE!! IT'S OOZING OUT OF EVERY EYE SOCKET!!! I'M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO SIT ON THAT AGAIN AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!}}'''
**Khorne secretly loves it when Slaanesh does this, because now he has even more of an excuse to go out and collect enough skulls to replace it.
*[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Slaanesh Patrols will skull fuck your family.]]
* Slaanesh secretly wants Khorne. S/he's upset that the 'Special K' hates her/him/it.
**However, if Slaanesh ever did create a copy of him/her/their/itself, then the two would immediately try to murderfuck each other, in a kinky simulacrum of Highlander. This would apply to all of the main ruinous powers, <s>apart from</s> including Nurgle, <s>who would simply hug his</s> whose female double <s>and then get to work with said double on a particularly virulent strain of super aids/crotch rot.</s> would get jealous of Isha and conspire with Slaanesh to get rid of that home-wrecking skank.
*Slaanesh is the patron <s>god</s> <s>goddess</s> deity of bonobos (look them up).
*Slaanesh's ''only'' criticism of the Cats movie is that there are no visible genitals.
* Slaanesh #fuckedPalpatine.

== Gallery ==
{{heresy}}
{{promotions}}
{{/d/}}
<gallery>
Image:Slaaneshfaggot.jpeg|A real-life worshipper of Slaanesh.
Image:Slaaneshi.JPG|Slaanesh followers DO COCAINE!!!!!!!!
Image:Daemonette commisssar.JPG|That's a real [[commissar]], just look at the [[hat]].
Image:Daemonette02.JPG|DDaemonette
Image:Daemonette01.JPG|It's not furry, you can totally fap to it.

Image:Daemonette.JPG
Image:Slaaneshi2.JPG|Why it's good to be Slaanesh follower.
Image:Daemonxmas copy.jpg|Slaanesh can be festive as well.
Image:Lurvemudkipz.JPG|Evidence that it is possible that some [[pokémon]] are susceptible to Chaotic influence.

Image:Slaaneshi mudkips.JPG|Oh god. ;_;
Image:Slaanesh trainer.jpg|There is no excuse or explanation for this.
Image:Slaaneshijack copy.jpg|This image can be used to improve a bad thread.
Image:Irresistible.jpg|Simply Irresistible

Image:Dranon5.jpg|Mr Culexus' interpretation of Slaanesh. Notice the massive bulge in the crotch that's bigger than it's boobs.
Image:Not_too_abysmal_by_Mr_Culexus.jpg|Love can bloom in the galaxy of Transylvania
Image:1271157389405.jpg|What a Slaaneshi raptor would look like by non-GW canon.
Image:daemonette_minerva.png|Who else did you think furries worshiped?

Image:Slaanesh_LAWL.jpg|LAWL
Image:Trapmarine.jpg|Slaanesh Chaos Marines come with a little "extra"...
Image:Trapmarine_BW.jpg|... which may not be so "little".
Image:Daemonette_with_seeker_mount.jpg|She "rides" it... if you know what I mean... no seriously, zoom in if you don't believe me. Although for your sake you really should take my word for it.

Image:643214 - Daemonette Eldar Warhammer 40k howling banshee warhammer yuliapw.jpg|The more common and usual fate of Eldar.
Image:Slaanesh cosplay 1 by zk87-d2zo47q.jpg|Now 262.71% more real!
Image:Slaanesh Time.jpg|You might be mixing up love and lust.
Image:Slaanesh_miniature_closeup.jpg|Gimme some sugar

Image:Slaanesh+hr giger.jpg|H. R. Geiger is pleased
Image:Slaanesh by zk87-d2z4bpv.jpg|Lashes of Torment!
Image:Slaanesh-153102-SweetAngel.jpg|She Who Thirsts indeed
Image:Khorne-and-Slaanesh.jpg|Khorne is sooo tsundere...
Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated]

Image:Dark_Prince_of_Pleasure_Slaanesh_wfrp.jpg|From the old [[WFRP]] days
Image:MoeSlaanesh.png|How can anyone not want to serve something so utterly <s>adorable</s> heretical?
Image:1419021850273.jpg|Yes, that is a Santa outfit.
Image:Anons_fall_to_Chaos.png|Anon heralds the Age of Strife.
Image:Champion of Slaanesh RL.png| We have the makings of a daemon prince here!
Image:HereticalUseOfChainswords.gif| When you say "Go Fuck Yourself with a Chainsword," Slaanesh will take it literally.
Image:Cultist-chan24.jpg|Slaanesh has improved cultist chan
Image:Wildslaanesh.png|Slaanesh Demon corrupts children
Image:Slaanesh-sorcerer.jpeg|Slaanesh makes the Cenobites from Hellraiser look good.
</gallery>

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever
Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho!
Don't dream it, be it...
Don't dream it, be it...

==See Also==
*[[Azazel]] - The oldest existing [[Daemon Prince]] of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[Dechala]] - The oldest existing Chaos Champion special character of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[The Masque]] - Slaanesh's former fav fab Daemonette stripper, and current PR rep.
*[[Sigvald]], Slaanesh's favorite not-Caligula/not-Joffrey.
*The [[Emperor's Children]] legion - The largest contingent of sick fucks on this side of the warp. And on that side of the warp.
*[[Fulgrim]] - Primarch of the largest contingent of sick fucks ever.
*[[Fabius Bile|Fabulous Bile]] - What you get by combining a self-obsessed homosexual and Dr. Frankenstein, only this one is played by geriatric [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kane_%28wrestler%29 Glenn Jacobs] instead of young Tim Curry.
*[[Lucius]] - Considered by some as the Sickest of Fucks amongst the living.
*[[Doomrider]] - He does COCAINE!
*[[Miriael Sabathiel]] - The most infamous [[Sisters of Battle|Sister of Battle]] to fall to Slaanesh. Commonly mistaken as the ''only'' Chaos Sister of Battle by people who haven't read [[Ephrael Stern|Daemonifuge]]. Last seen hunting Eldar to give them [[Rape|hugs]].
*[[Codex - Fallen Sororitas]] - An entire homebrew army of Slaaneshi Sisters of Battle.
*[[Daemonette]] - Daemons of Slaanesh. Viewing said content is heretical, in 20 seconds or less after clicking the link, expect a squad of inquisitorial storm troopers to barge-in and blam you to hell.
*[[Reasonable Daemonette]] - Slaanesh's perversion knows no bounds. Hers does, and she respects yours.
*[[Loli D]] - The [[loli]] variant of the Slaaneshi Daemonette. Viewing said content is [[Extra Heresy|extra heretical]]. E-Commissars can and will [[Exterminatus|blam you from your monitor with the utmost prejudice]] if you click on this link.
*[http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Slaanesh's_sacrifice.pdf Slaanesh's Sacrifice] - Some Slaaneshi writefaggotry for the more heretical among you.
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRPIsrxUc_E Rick and Morty's visit to the Realm of Slaanesh]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-gHgcmFB6Q Slaanesh's visit to the Realm of Rick and Morty]
*[https://pastebin.com/5QZMB7nH Excessively Vanilla] - AKA the '''one''' time Slaanesh goes full-on vanilla, including actual marriage, handholding, and under the cover missionary sex for the sole purpose of procreation
{{Template:ChaosGods}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Hedonites of Slaanesh]]

Slaanesh

2020-07-21T11:52:11Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:2DC8:A758:B77F:349E: /* Introduction: The Slaanesh Inquisition */

[[File:Slaanesh_mark.png|center]]
{{awesome}}
{{heresy}}
{{Promotions}}
{{/d/}}
{{sick|The hermaphrodite goddess of rape who wants to eat everyone's souls and rape them forever.}}

[[Image:Slaanesh_by_baklaher-d7dvohn.jpg|thumb|500px|right|Slaanesh... tempting you to join a [[rape|party in which you will never forget...]] [[Rule 34|also now in even more NSFW!]]]]

'''''PORN FOR THE PORN GOD! SMUT FOR THE SMUT THRONE! RAPE FOR THE RAPE TRAIN! - The Motto that Slaanesh wants YOU to believe in'''''

{{Topquote|Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.|Dr. Frank-N-Furter, Rocky Horror Picture Show}}

{{Topquote|To be loved, feelings must be rationed. To love, the doors of hysteria, fantasy, and madness may be flung open.|Anton LaVey}}

{{Topquote|An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom.|Charles Baudelaire}}

{{Topquote|Everything is good when it is excessive.|Donatien-Alphonse-François, AKA Marquis de Sade}}

{{Topquote|Blood does more than turn me on, it makes me cum. And more than the sight of it, I love the taste of it. The taste of hot, freshly killed blood... Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth are my politics! Filth is my life! Take whatever you like.|Divine, Pink Flamingoes}}

==Introduction: The Slaanesh Inquisition==
[[Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|thumb|500px|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated.] Wait, one whip is held in the hand and the other is held in the...]]
Behold '''Slaanesh''', also known as '''Shaarnor (to [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Elves and some humans]]), Shornaal (to [[Warriors of Chaos|humans and some Elves]]), The Dark Prince, the Lord of Excess, Leviathan, Lord of the Labyrinth, The Sweet Transvestite, The Lusty Argonian Maid, the Colossal Pervert''', '''the Ultimate Trap''', '''Never Went to Rehab''', '''Slut4Evar''', ‘’’the one who ruins everything,’’’ ‘’’the new thing’’’, and multiple other names. Slaanesh is the [[Chaos God]] of [[/d/|perversion, Hentai]], [[Extra Heresy|shamelessness]], [[Furry|excess]], [[Rebecca Black|the most disgusting Pop Music in the history of ever]]. Heretical Fa/tg/uys cannot resist the most disgusting [[heresy]] of masturbating furiously to Slaanesh and their [[daemonette]]s.

Slaanesh was 'born' (in this case semi literally, from aspects other chaos gods had.) at the fall of the [[Eldar]], when all their torture, [[rape]], S&M, bondage, decadence, eventually tore the fabric of reality a new one and gave birth to Slaanesh along with the [[Eye of Terror]], killing the majority of their race. Thus, the final chaos god is known as the one that was literally murderfucked into existence. As a result, Slaanesh owns almost every last Eldar soul in the entire galaxy. In the event of an Eldar dying without a spirit stone, he or she becomes Slaanesh's sex toy for all of eternity day and night forever and ever (excluding Exodites, whose soul will automatically go to their planet's world spirit and Harlequins, who are scooped up by the [[Cegorach|great clown]] himself, and the faithful of Ynnead). This is why Eldar are willing to manipulate entire worlds into [[Exterminatus|exterminating]] each other just to save one of their own. The [[Dark Eldar]] take this up to eleven; because they do not use spirit stones nor are they protected like the Harlequins, Slaanesh is constantly sanding their souls down around the edges. In order to circumvent this they resort to huffing the souls of those in agony or those who have recently died. This distracts it for a while due to it having the attention span of a goldfish. (however this isn't ''just'' for survival; the Dark Eldar revel in sadism for its own sake too, this unknowingly gives her more power in a vicious cycle of murderfucking).

[[Khorne]] hates Slaanesh because he (or perhaps she? or both?) is a prissy little shit, but Slaanesh is concerned with the other Chaos gods only insofar as they can be a diverting plaything. Rumors that their relationship is beyond hate and occasional angry sex are just that; Khorne, certainly, is not telling.

Of course, the descriptions above apply primarily to Slaanesh's WH40K history. In WHFB, Slaanesh has no real backstory and sort of just came out of nowhere like the other Chaos gods.

Among other things, Slaanesh is the god of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. Slaanesh is fueled by excess and pleasure, which means gratuitous amounts of anything generally fall under its influence. This actually becomes a big problem for Khorne, the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]] and the other Chaos Gods, whose worshipers have to constantly try not to enjoy themselves too much lest they end up feeding the Warp's whipping bitch. Especially when the Inquisition is all too enthusiastic about whipping heretics.

Many horny juveniles who have just found Warhammer seem to be obsessed with Slaanesh being a God(ess) of sexual pleasure. While [[fluff]] claims this is not true, in practical terms Slaanesh is the deity of pleasure, which can be broad. Pleasure can be derived from various sources, as such this can be anything from sex, eating, companionship, and so on and so forth. However, because Chaos is Chaos, Slaanesh is mostly associated with the extremes of pleasure. Lechery, gluttony, extreme masochism, and the likes, are the pleasures their followers partake in because Slaanesh's credo is to experience everything to the fullest. This basically means: why settle for one loving wife to have sex with you when you can have a hive world of insatiable concubines to fulfill your every desire? Or why eat one disgustingly expensive luxury meal when you could eat a Paradise world's supply of the stuff? Why just resort to cutting yourself to feel the pleasure of pain when you could be chopping off lumps of your flesh to heighten the sensation of pain? Numerous examples of 40k lore have made it apparent that while those who fall to Slaanesh might start off with a desire to fulfill their rather run-of-the-mill baser instincts, it always spirals out of control. For example, in the novel ''Shadowsword'', a young nobleman makes a deal with a devilish creature so that he can possess and sleep with his lady love, who is also his first cousin. By the time all is said and done, a grand party to welcome the forces of Chaos to their world turns into a charnel scene where the guests ''imagine'' themselves to be dancing and enjoying fine food and drink, but in reality they are tearing each other apart with their bare hands and engaging in cannibalism; others believe that they are embracing when their bodies and flesh are literally melding together. These are the types of scenes that truly grant Slaanesh power.

One would think that if, as claimed, Slaanesh was the lord of all ''pleasure'' then Slaanesh would be omnipotent because, in the end, biological and psychological fact tells us that every living thing with a fucking Neuron acts in order to feel pleasure and escape pain (the "pleasure principle"). However, the point of Slaanesh is not to revel in ''any'' pain or pleasure, but to gain power from exposing mortals to the types of experiences that a sane person ''could not'' and ''would not'' ever be able to imagine in the first place. For all but the very strongest and most devout, this pollutes and twists their very souls to such an extent that they remain in thrall to Slaanesh forever. Such horizons of experience and sensation are far, far beyond the predictable inclinations and fetishes of your typical 4chan fa/tg/uy.

Even [[Khorne]], Slaanesh's primary rival, feels pleasure in killing, and Tzeentch feels pleasure in [[Just as Planned]]. That is why 40k lore tends to focus on Slaanesh as a God of the most disgusting pleasures ever, not as a God of all pleasure. Additionally, in the [[fluff]], it does state that most pleasures (like regular love or the desire to eat) that might be covered under the "pleasure principle" are too "weak" to sustain Slaanesh. Slaanesh being usually named the "God of Excess" it's more that they gain power from OVER-indulging in the small things like sex and eating, which in 40k is actually more rare than people would think. Considering that it's damn hard for anyone to get more than a piece of stale toast and a dry handjob before a grueling 48 hours of avoiding death in the name of the Emprah in the far corner of some forgotten forge-world, the only way to get enough sex, drugs, and partying in to impress Slaanesh on your average imperial world, is to be a ruthless, controlling, evil, bastard. (''It is worth noting that GW seems to have picked up somewhat on this fact. As of the latest daemon codex it does mention that Slaanesh has a particular way of influencing the other chaos gods and that they are all weary of them given that they draw some strength from the extreme behaviours they promote in their followers and are subject to themselves.'')

Slaanesh is also associated with the arts and creativity, as creativity means pursuing one's own personal desires. Self-indulgence and personal expression are the bedrock of the arts, after all. Those attracted to Slaanesh could theoretically be more than just aristocratic ravers, but also particularly eccentric artists, writers, etc. Slaanesh is Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll in the purest sense of the word; not just the orgy after the concert, but the brilliant concert that caused the orgy to begin with. One could assume that, in order to prevent Slaanesh's influence from spreading, the Imperium of Man would censor not just content but style. A radically structured poem, a painting with hints of sexual content, even a deviation from traditional chord structures would presumably bring the Inquisition to your doorstep.

If Slaanesh had a voice actor, it would be [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc80tFJpTuo Tim Curry] and/or Tilda Swinton.

==What? Warhammer?==
[[File:Slaanesh Old.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The first depiction of Slaanesh in Warhammer art.]]
In the new [[Age of Sigmar]] setting, Slaanesh has gone missing. Tyrion and Malerion worked together to capture Slaanesh, unknowningly helped along by the machinations of Tzeentch. Thus Slaanesh has been removed from the Pantheon of Chaos and replaced by the [[Horned Rat]]. Derp. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIMg2Xw4_8s While it was thought Slaanesh is being kept in a hidden warehouse while Tyrion works him/her over to make Slaanesh give back Aliathra's soul], this is revealed to be mostly true. There was speculation that Slaanesh has been removed as an active part of Age of Sigmar in some attempt by [[Games Workshop]] to make the game more accessible to children. [[Derp|Somehow, they failed to take into account that an incredibly grimdark game with very complicated rules and such a high price of entry isn't going to be popular among kiddies anyways]]. They may be doing this so parents won't be put off by the game and be willing to buy it for their children and to get past the media watchdogs to make the game more mainstream; but that most likely won't work [[Games Workshop|due to reasons discussed on GW's page here]].
[[File:AoSBeholdSlaanesh.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Slaanesh imprisoned: Unable to decide which dildo to use first, Slaanesh is effectively neutralized! Ingenious! (Also, to answer the question you never asked, Slaanesh is not circumcised. Seriously, take a close look at where those chains pierce)]]

Yet hope for Slaanesh faction lovers still remains. With Slaanesh missing, his forces have split between those trying to find and free Slaanesh (the refer to themselves as Seekers), those who are trying to claim their former master's position (they are referred to as Pretenders and consists of every Chaos Lord and Keeper of Secrets that wants to claim their former masters position as the new god of depravity) and those who have continued to be allied to Archaon in his wars against the Mortal Realms (who are referred to as Invaders). This last faction is currently the biggest and is the main Slaanesh force fighting Order; it is mostly being led by Slaanesh's greater daemons who lead Slaanesh's demonic and mortal followers but some have actually looked to venerating Archaon as their replacement deity.

With the release of the Daughter of Khaine battletome it's revealed that Slaanesh have been trapped in the void space between Ulgu (Realm of Shadows) and Hysh (Realm of Light) by the collective work of [[Tyrion]] and [[Teclis]], now gods of the Hysh, [[Malekith|Malerion]], god of Shadow, and [[Morathi]]. There the elf gods are slowly taking back the elf souls the Chaos god had devoured after the End Times, reforging them to their liking, while Slaanesh is trapped in a position that will make it impossible for him to escape. That is, unless Morathi cast a spell to get more souls than it was initially planned for her to receive, a spell that would weaken the chains that are keeping Slaanesh trapped, which of course she did. Now Slaanesh is ever so slowly getting further from Hysh and closer to Ulgu, which enabled Slaanesh's followers to learn where he was. The only things standing in their way are the fact that they can't reach Slaanesh's prison, the elf gods and their forces. Even then, Slaanesh might eventually be able to free itself.

With the announcement of Realm of Chaos: Wrath and Rapture, it appears GW is ready to bring Slaanesh back to the 40k and AoS universes, along with a (daemonic) host of new models. And this did come to pass... Though it isn't as grand as many would have hoped. It has been revealed that the 66 chains holding Slaanesh (real subtle, GW) can be broken by certain depraved or powerful acts, ie, an excess of anger from Khorne, or a Stormhost turning on the people they protect (which did happen and was engineered by Slaanesh taking a leaf from Tzeentch's book). Having broken a handful of the chains Slaanesh cast illusions to prevent the elves from discovering this, and if the majority of chains get shattered Slaanesh will be strong enough to break the rest. If Slaanesh ever did escape, he would immediately try and engulf all of Ulgu and Hysh, securing two whole realms and thereby winning the great game though Khorne would object violently, as would Archaon. However, Archaon still needed Slaanesh and was actively tracking down the trapped god. Archaon eventually succeeded at finding Slaanesh and started working to free him, though Slannesh's sass vexed Archaon. It would've worked eventually, but Archaon had a vision of the Nighthaunt and Bonereapers taking the Shyish realmgate and attacking the Varanspire. Though Archaon was pissed, since he knew the aelf gods would move Slaanesh's prison and tighten security after this, he abandoned Slaanesh and went back to the Allpoints.

== Followers ==
[[File:Slaanesh Banners.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Slaaneshi banners.]]
Slaanesh attracts mortal followers from those seeking to become charismatic and popular, but instead corrupts them to become [[Chris-Chan|colossal perverts]]; alternatively, she may attract followers from those who are already [[Ultramarines|colossal perverts]], and corrupt them to become more charismatic and popular. [[Just as planned]].

Alternatively, Slaanesh sometimes finds those in the mortal realm with far more looks than brains to approach and give them everything they could ever want because she tells them that they simply deserve it, with nothing expected in return...other than them turning into a collossal egotistical hedonist with no sense of responsibility, right and wrong, or empathy as they fuck over creation on whim or for the lulz due to the ultimate entitlement complex possible.

Slaanesh and Khorne actually compete for the same pool of followers more often than you'd think, which is part of their bitter rivalry. A good rule of thumb is this: if a warrior wants to be the ''best'', gets his thrills from making that perfect shot, that perfect move, [[/v/|that perfect 360 noscope,]] to [[powergamer|hone his or her skills the sharpest they can ever be]], or debasing their foes, they're Slaaneshi. If the thrill lies in just killing people-- the pure joy of murder-- and the skill is just a way of facilitating that, they're Khornate. Slaaneshi types also get off on the sensory overload rather than actual killing, even pain. See the Emperor's Children who get carved up by Raven Guard and won't fight back because the feeling of lightning claws dicing them up is too damn blissful. [[Troll|They also get off on the reactions they get from others]]- for example, the loyalist who Lucius tricks into slaughtering his own men.

When things come to more "social" followers, Slaanesh competes with Tzeentch, as followers of both are known for being a silver-tongued manipulative dicks with a huge hard-on for power. Here the difference lies in that Slaaneshi followers seek power for their own gain, usually through charismatic speeches and the like, while Tzeenchians often have more altruistic goals or are more interested in a process of gaining power than actually getting it, intentionally raising the challenge to impossible level just to feed their ambitions, for which they'd use the exchange of favors, blackmail, and other such forms of social politicking. The 'huge hard-on' part is also much more [[Heresy|literal]] in Slaanesh's case.

Apart from [[AIDS|the obvious]], Slaanesh and Nurgle rarely have any interaction. There was the matter of the [[Isha|qt Eldar waifu]] Slaanesh wanted to keep for [[/d/|some]] [[rape|after-party]] [[FATAL|entertainment]], but since Nurgle is a fa/tg/uy at heart he couldn't resist claiming the elf waifu for himself. But they're mostly over that... mostly. Otherwise, their domains are just too different that they don't overlap all that much. Those who are ambitious and feel they deserve better choose Slaanesh, while those who give up or accept their lot fall into Nurgle's open, sweaty arms. Conflict occurs, but love of the self and love of others aren't as mutually exclusive as the desire to destroy and the desire to create, or a demand for the spotlight against careful orchestration.

[[File:Slaaneshi Forces.JPG|thumb|right|500px|Slaaneshi forces in their realm.]]

Slaanesh units are:
* '''[[Daemonettes]]''', hideous crab-clawed hermaphrodites or seductive scythe-clawed elf-girls depending on which fluff you choose to believe, fa/tg/uys love Daemonettes and spend much time eagerly awaiting the drawfags to provide them with moar heresy. Some fluff seems to suggest that they're hot elf girls until they decide it's time to rip your face off, at which point they become something more akin to the BDSM glam-rock black-eyed lobster women seen in the current models. Moreover, they're supposedly attractive to the beholder (though these are often xenophobic assholes and thus only consider themselves beautiful) - this means that it is very likely that their appearance is entirely subject to the individual desires of whomever is perceiving them. This is represented by their hermaphroditic/androgynous appearance, supposedly rendering them attractive regardless of preference or sexuality. Their monstrous nature is a juxtaposition of slender sensuality and horrible, flesh-tearing daemonic claws. Like many Daemons, their appearance is supposed to be highly varied, which is never represented in the models unless you combine all the old and new, modify heavily, and use [[Raging Heroes|proxies]] randomly. Daemonettes are created by Slaanesh's waking thoughts, popping into existence as she contemplates trolling Khorne, destroying a civilization from within, or getting off.
* '''[[Seekers of Slaanesh]]''', Daemonettes mounted upon [[Steeds of Slaanesh]] which are the mix of an aardvark and a raptor [[dinosaur]]; fast and lots of attacks for not much points, prone to dying in a hail of arrow/bolter fire.
* '''[[Fiends of Slaanesh]]''', large creatures that look like a bizarre cross between an aardvark and a scorpion with rows of breasts, these are created when Slaanesh dreams (because apparently Chaos Gods sleep). They're basically if a Daemonette and a Seeker had a child.
* '''[[Seeker Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', hard hitting unit/squad-wipe models, this is whom you call for when you need that pesky [[tarpit]] removed. Right now. From other end of the board. Be cautious though, these things need protection like grimoire and preferrably invisibility,or at least [[Distraction Carnifex|target mitigation]] to live long enough to do their job since they are big targets with juicy 10 armor all round. Also never ever position yourself so that the enemy could have even remote chance of charging these things: even squad of retarded [[Tau|fire warriors]] or some [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Spearmen]] can take these chariots down in melee if they get the charge. These things live and die by the hammer of wrath attacks, use them accordingly. Also comes in the "Exalted Seeker Chariot" variant, which is literally just a larger Seeker Chariot crewed by higher ranked Daemonettes.
* '''[[Hellflayer Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', what happens when you combine enough Chariots to make Daemonettes literally [[/d/|dripping]] with excitement at being in battle.
* '''[[Warriors of Chaos]]''', not-Vikings/Mongols who live in the desolate north of Warhammer Fantasy and fight against each other when not raiding the rest of the world. The closer to the [[Warp Gates]] they are, the more like living Daemons while the furthest south are generally only concerned with survival and not offending gods.
* '''[[Beastmen]]''', the rapist omnivorous (in every sense of the word) animal-mutants that infest the world. Beastmen serve all of Chaos, some serve specific gods more than others but few serve one entirely. Live to literally and canonically shit on civilization and order. Ironically treated like shit by all of the rest of Chaos. Slaanesh, in keeping with the trend, allows his followers to fuck their women and drink their wine.
* '''[[Keepers Of Secrets]]''', Slaanesh's Greater Daemons, like a Daemonette on steroids, ecstasy and Viagra. Created intentionally from Slaanesh's own darkest thoughts and desires, rather than the Daemonettes/Seekers/Fiends which are created passively, each is radically different (even though there's only been three different models, one of which is long out of production). Geniuses capable of turning entire armies to their side, or destroying civilizations. The default leaders of almost any Slaaneshi army, unless lead by a...
* '''[[Daemon Prince]]''', a human (with [[Dechala|one Elf]] as the exception) so devout to Slaanesh that they managed to become a Daemon. In Fantasy this is usually, but not always, a Warriors of Chaos Champion who made the perilous journey of getting not to little or too much attention while in her service.

=== 40k ===
* '''[[Chaos Space Marines]]''', the traitor marines of the [[Emperor's Children|third legion]] worship Slaanesh exclusively, as do warbands such as the Angels of Ecstasy and the Flawless Host. They also make up a large chunk of the Black Legion, as the Children of Torment.
** '''[[Noise Marines]]''', the specialist traitors dedicated to Slaanesh, akin to Khorne's [[Berserkers]], Nurgle's [[Plague Marines]] or Tzeentch's [[Thousand Sons]]. Aural-focused traitors who specialise in using [[Sonic Weaponry]] because the cacophony is the only thing that can register on their jaded senses anymore. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berghain Can be found IRL also.]

=== Fantasy ===
* '''[[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Druchii]]''', the Warhamer Fantasy evil Elves who are the highest ranking worshipers of Slaanesh, who they call Shornaal, in the [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Cult Of Pleasure]]. In most of the games history (4 editions out of 8 total, the first two having virtually no story whatsoever), Dark Elves had their origin in their Queen [[Morathi]] being the high priestess of Slaanesh, who corrupted her [[Malekith|son]] and about half the Elf race. While most Dark Elves torture and kill in the name of [[Khaine]], Morathi lead a cult of Chaos Elves and regularly allied with other Slaaneshi factions (other than Beastmen, because Morathi kept [[Harpies|her own]] as pets and shits on all others like a good Chaos character should). In later editions, Chaos Elves were retconned away into worshipers of [[Atharti]], [[Hekarti]], and [[Ereth Khial]], three Elven Slaanesh-expy gods, in order to redo the Dark Elf faction as evil Elves who ally with other Elves in the interest of mutual survival instead of evil Elves who just want to watch the world burn while a slave who's skin has been torn off gives them oral. This choice split many fans, some asking why Elves should worship Slaanesh when they have Khaine instead of Khorne, others asking why they worship Khaine when Khorne is better.

==Potential semi-retcon of Slaanesh in 40k==
With the release of "Rise of the Ynnari: Wild Rider" we now have daemons of Slaanesh making an appearance during the [[War in Heaven]]? Now this could be just a case of timey wimey Warp shenanigans but it could also be an indication of something else! What if Slaanesh's "birth" was actually more akin to a rebirth of something far older; the original sin if you were.

It is known that even before the Fall agents of Slaanesh were already at large in the galaxy and actively seeking to bring it into being. If Slaanesh did indeed have a presence all the way back in the War in Heaven then perhaps it has always been there, seeking a way to return, as opposed to beginning to gestate within the Empyrean during the conflict itself.

Slaanesh isn't all about sex, [[Drug|drugs]] and more sex, but actually fits all of the seven deadly sins rather well: [[/d/|Lust]], [[RAGE|Wrath]], [[Blood Ravens|Greed]], [[Perturabo|Envy]], [[Giles|Gluttony]], [[Lazy Marines|Sloth]] and [[Cato Sicarius|Pride]] all fall under Slaanesh's domain; each of which play key roles in the other God's spheres of influence also. Of course these are taken to their extremes, as is Slaanesh's trade mark, but even the other Chaos Gods are extremes in their own way, and though they are all placed above the Dark Prince in terms of power they all may "fear" the influence that Slaanesh has the potential to hold over them and are very wary that the Dark Prince may eventually eclipse them all in power.

The War in Heaven is essentially the event(s) that created "Hell" in 40k as many races with a presence in the warp fought and died in the conflict, so it makes sense that there must have been an "original Satan"-like figure as well. Of course, this could be looking too much into this and talking out of our collective arse, but what with Slaanesh in [[Age of Sigmar]] no longer being counted amongst the Four, it opens up a lot of possibilities for when the Dark Prince does eventually return.

==The Wandering Knight in the Palace of Slaanesh==

(AKA [[Kaldor Draigo]] becomes a sleeper agent. Probably. Other things are possible, but this would slap down the Mary Sue, so really, why argue?)

While the other Chaos Gods rarely welcome intruders to their lands within the immaterium, Slaanesh loves to tempt visitors to his unnatural domain, and those that dare enter the Lord of Pleasure's territory risk becoming trapped in its warped delights for eternity.

Slaanesh's realm is divided into six domains, arranged in concentric rings about the Palace of Pleasure. Each of these is a celebration of Slaanesh's desires, and while they might be mistaken for paradises, nothing in the lands of the Dark Prince is as it seems. An intruder can only reach the Palace of Pleasure, in the very heart of Slaanesh's territory, by passing through all six of the circles-an act of will beyond most souls, both mortal and demonic. One amongst the mortal visitors to his realm still looms large in the memory of Slaanesh, however-a wandering knight of the Adeptus Astartes whose resolve was as strong as silvered adamantium.

The first circle the knight pushed through was richly appointed beyond the dreams of kings. Mountains of stacked gold reached towards rainbow mosaics of gemstones in the marble vaults high above, glittering ingots and diamonds beyond count littered the ground. The knight marched past plenty a starving wretch attempting to count the innumerable gold coins. Their sallow faces twisted with mounting greed until their piles toppled, and, weeping, they had to start over again. At every corner of the crossroads stood gilded statues, some of beautiful Slaanesh, others of Daemons and mortals trapped in blissful ecstasy. The trails in the diamond dust underfoot betrayed the fact that the statues were once flesh and blood. The knight had left notions of material wealth long behind, and he strode on without touching a single coin.

Crunching his way across a beach of golden teeth, the knight came to the shores of a vast lake of dark wine. The lake was dotted with pallid islands formed from the backs of giants, each linked by criss-crossing bridges. The backward hands of each giant held up a table that groaned under the weight of a lavish feast. There, he saw mortal men gorging themselves on the banquet, wide-eyed and desperate in their hunger as others frantically tried to gulp down the lake itself. The bloated and the obese moaned in pain as they crammed ever more food into their wine stained mouths. The knight pressed on, distaste twisting his features as he passed the grisly remains of those who had consumed so much that they had physically burst apart.

The wanderer made his way through fields of golden light and soft hay, where lissom maidens and beautiful youths frolicked near-naked in the hallucinogenic musk of the lithe beasts that cavorted with them. The faces and fertile forms of the dancers were impossibly sensual, moulded to the perfect desire of the heart. The knight held his breath and closed his eyes, for though mortal pleasures were forbidden to his order, part of him was still a man. The crooning nymphs gathered around the knight, stroking his silvered armour and whispering of the sweet, carnal pleasures they would give him, but he yielded not. The severed limbs and heads that lay underfoot spoke of the truth behind the honeyed lies. Eyes shut, he cut down the daemonette seductresses around him one after another, letting revulsion guide his shining blade.

After fighting his way through the feminine contours of the foothills ahead, the knight emerged onto a balcony where he was greeted by roars of adulation and approval. An army of Space Marines so vast its number was beyond counting awaited before him on an endless plain, listening in fevered anticipation of his commands for conquest. Planetary governors nodded in obsequious anticipation, and the High Lords of Terra smiled up at him from smaller balconies of their own, motioning him to speak. The knight recognised one of the rulers from his own mortal life, and stood before him, looking deep into the Philosopher-King's eyes. Behind the mask of power and self-assurance, he saw eternal, nagging paranoia, gnawing suspicion and hidden doubts that were acid to the soul. The knight shook his head sadly and walked away.

Wearied by his ordeals, the wanderer strode on through a mesmerising woodland paradise, its maze of pathways thick with flowers and heavy with thorns. The gentle, fragrant breeze whispered to the knight of past glories, reminding him of the executions he had performed in the Emperor's name. Mirrored pools reflected the knight as a shining saint, his face serene but his sword bloodied as he artfully carved apart rank after rank of red-skinned Daemons. The warrior turned away, troubled. In the distance, he could make out tortured figures staring intently into mirror pools of their own, each held immobile by the undergrowth as whispering thorns insinuated themselves into their flesh. The wanderer turned his mind to the humility of the cell he once called home. As he did so, the path through the maze writhed and straightened out before him. So the knight trudged on.

An endless beach stretched away from the knight, and heavenly choirs sung soothing lullabies as the perfumed sea lapped at the fortress walls of his mind. The wanderer's bones cried out for rest, even if only for a moment. The warmth of the golden sun above calmed his soul, and the tide began to erode his will. His tired eyes could barely stay open. But his vision was still clear enough to see the horrible truth. The bone-white sand was made from the remains of those who had rested here and fallen into a coma of blissful indolence. His resolve hardened, the knight strode on toward the shimmering palace in the distance.

It was there, beneath the elegant spires, that the wanderer came before almighty Slaanesh. Statuesque and divinely glamorous, the deity visited him in the form of a young man possessed of an androgynous beauty-clean limbed and fresh with the vigour of youth. The knight unsheathed his rune-etched sword and made to strike him down. To his horror, he found that he could not, for the god-prince was disarming in his innocence and utterly beguiling in his manner.

Even the purest flame can be extinguished by the tide. In that single moment of doubt, the wanderer was lost. He knelt, bowing his head at last, and a single touch of the being's glowing sceptre on each shoulder sealed his fate for eternity.

== Facts ==
[[File:Nope.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Alright, who's next for "Purifying"?]]
* [[Ynnead]] is secretly Slaanesh
*[[Sanguinius]] is jealous of Slaanesh because they are the only one more fabulous than hi-{{BLAM}}
* Slaanesh wants to fuck the Emperor, but every time they try, the Big E psychically bitch-slaps them, destroys all their sex toys and sex slaves and breaks their hands so they can't fap for a while.
* Slaanesh knows that you can't spell happiness without penis.
** Slaanesh is dyslexic.
***Slaanesh also knows that you can't spell dyslexic without sex
* The title of Slaanesh's greatest mortal champion is owned by Shädman''(ayyyyy)''
* Slaanesh is bitching over the fact how their only representation in the DoW series was the [[Emperor's Children]] paint scheme. And they aren't even Slaaneshi like, they're just a generic chaos army. Although, their did grant favor to Eliphas for smashing a ton of soulstones. (And their colours aren't even correct.)
**However, concerning stated above, the developers have added noise marines for Dawn of war 2: Retribution. This has made Slaanesh quite happy. However, he/she/it is still <s>pissed off of not getting enough representation</s> OFFENDED BY THIS SILENCE, considering Nurgle gets Plague Champion hero, the Plague Marine Tier 2 unit, and the Epic Great Unclean One daemon, Khorne then gets the Khornate Chaos Lord, Bloodletters and Bloodcrushers, while Tzeentch gets the Sorcerer hero, has the most effective upgrade for the basic CSM squad (Warpfire bolts make everything in front of them shit brix and was flat out broken in earlier versions of its introduction), and all of the Anti-armor upgrades, while they only get a single unit that frankly eclipsed by either Plague Marines or generic Havocs with an autocannon.
* Charlie Sheen is their first true Daemon Prince (though he was recently diagnosed with HIV which resulted from his sexcapades, so looks like he could swing towards [[Nurgle]]. But just like [[Fulgrim]] his body probably needs to be destroyed first before he can ascend). It was nearly Malcolm Mcdowell, on account of Mcdowell's filmography including two of Slaanesh's favorite films (see below) and Mcdowell's hedonistic younger years; before Charlie had even reached puberty, Mcdowell was already far into sex and drugs both in his films and real-life. But as he got older, Mcdowell turned away from hedonism and cleaned himself up. Other contenders include Gene Simmons and Tila Tequila.
* Slaanesh gets beaten up/off by all of the other Chaos Gods on a fairly regular basis, and gets off on it.
* If it exists, [[PROMOTIONS|Slaanesh faps/shlicks/shlaps to it]].
* Tzeentch likes to trick Slaanesh into fighting Khorne to get his daily dose of lulz. Slaanesh always loses these fights pretty badly; and each time, Slaanesh takes it pretty hard. [[C.S.Goto|And this pleases them.]]
* Slaanesh is secretly depressed that have no friends. Khorne is a dick, and Tzeentch is the biggest dick there is. Nurgle is nice, but Slaanesh can't get over the fact that he cucked them. ("Can't get over it" in both a [[PROMOTIONS|positive]] and [[RAGE|negative]] sense.)
** Also, Nurgle has ''all'' the STDs, which would make him Slaanesh's natural enemy out in the wild. Isha's immunity to all diseases is better than any protection, which is a pretty substantial reason why Slaanesh liked her.
* Slaanesh gets bullied by all the other Chaos Gods constantly because none of them like him/her/it. This does not upset the balance, though, because Slaanesh likes BDSM where they being bullied and tortured by the other Chaos Gods.
* Slaanesh is Tzeentch's second favorite victim for his hijinks, because it's oh so easy to string them along with offers of porn, whores, BDSM and/or drugs.
* Khorne [[Rip and Tear|regularly tears off Slaanesh's arms]] and beats them over the head with them (Again, this inadvertently makes Slaanesh orgasm).
* Slaanesh was doping when they killed the Eldar Gods, they couldn't really beat them all without using performance enhancing drugs. (at least that what Khaine, a god of war and destruction, keeps insisting when ever someone asks him why he got both figuratively and possibly literally raped by a god(ess) of sex drugs and rock'n'roll)
** Slaanesh is always on drugs (Except psychiatric medication, they kill sex drive down to the very biology)
* Slaanesh attempted to fight the Nightbringer in a desperate attempt to win back some street cred, they got their left boob cut off for their trouble. It hurt so bad/good that it retroactively cut off the left boobs of all of Slaanesh's greater daemons and that's why they all only have one boob (or six). Given the new backstory and their time of birth, this means that Slaanesh lost against a Necron Pokémon.
* Slaanesh is a great patron of the arts. Their favourite films include:
** Hellraiser: Slaanesh's number one film. In fact, they took a lot of inspiration on many of the movie's aspects... <strike>That is, of course, a lie. They actually ripped off Hellraiser.</strike> Hellraiser ripped them off. Slaanesh had a cameo appearance in the sequel dressed as a lozenge.
** A Serbian Film: Slaanesh's second favorite movie. They already started putting NEWBORN PORN into her/his daily schedule.
** Pink Flamingos: Slaanesh's third favourite movie, which is actually a film adaptation of Slaanesh's journal. Slaanesh especially enjoyed the depictions of their hobbies (including bestiality, scat fetishes and vore), that the movie quotes them directly (see Divine's quote above).
** A Clockwork Orange: One of Slaanesh's favorite movies; not so much the book it was adapted from as it was less about sex and more a commentary on the nature of morality. (Although Slaanesh faps/shlicks to commentaries on morality too.) They like to jerk-off at many of the movie's aspects, but more notably Malcolm Mcdowell's sexy face. They also find the death of one of the characters totally hilarious, due to the fact that said character was killed by a giant rocking ceramic phallus straight to the face. '''BLOWJOB OF DEATH !!! LULZ !!!''' Unbelievable and improbable? Well here's evidence to prove it: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbRSag-L-GQ Giant rocking ceramic phallus attack !!!].
** The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Mostly because of Tim Curry (who is actually Slaanesh).
** Legend: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3J91bPrW9A Also because of Tim Curry, who practically plays a daemon prince of Slaanesh].
** Caligula: The movie written by Gore Vidal for copious amounts of sex, incest and Malcolm Mcdowell as the title character. Slaanesh's favorite scenes are when Caligula engages in an incestuous threesome with his sister and his fiance, and the giant orgies on stage (don't watch the latter if you have a weak stomach - there's a real snake in one scene and [[FATAL|you don't want to know what the woman does with it]]).
** Eyes Wide Shut. Slaanesh has heard the film described as "Just Artsy Porn", but doesn't get the criticism. It's Art and it's Porn. What's not to love?
** Event Horizon: A documentary of how he/she/it is directly responsible for fucking up humanity's first venture into the Warp.
** High Rise: Some say it holds the essence of the one time Slaaneshi and Khaine got jiggy with it.
** Salo or 120 days of Sodom: Slaanesh liked it better when they thought it was real and not just special effects.
** The Stuff: A movie about the time some railroad workers found lakes of Slaanesh's jizz at a quarry and marketed it as dessert food due to its properties, leading to numerous shenanigans and giving Slaanesh much lulz that they never learned where it came from.
* Slaanesh enjoys the Song of Ice and Fire books due to the copious amounts of incest and midget sex and the TV adaption Game of Thrones because they added sex scenes and casting several porn stars on top of this.
* Slaanesh's favorite band is GWAR, because everything with them is sex, drugs, and rock and roll in excess, even covering their audience in jizz, blood, random chemicals, and mixtures of all three, and inciting massive blood orgies constantly.
* Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams is also suspected to be one of the early influences of Slaanesh in human music culture, the singer suspected to be one of his/her/its avatars.
* Slaanesh gets ALL the pussy, as well as all the dick, cloca, ovipositor, stamen, pistil, and pilus.
* Slaanesh tried to seduce all of the remaining C'tan at once. Slaanesh ended up getting the pleasure sensors in its brain lobotomized. S/he got off on this.
* Slaanesh found Captain Flashheart so magnificent in Blackadder that they created a daemon prince in his image. Woof woof!
* Despite psychic powers supposedly being Tzeentch's specialty, Slaanesh's tend to be the really [[cheese|cheesy]] ones. 3rd edition had a minor power called Siren, which forbids the caster from being shot at in the opponent's shooting phase (it's just as broken as it sounds). 4th edition has Lash of Submission, which the Chaos Marine tactics cover the usage of (in a nutshell, GW admitted they didn't realize how good it turned out to be and it was the most used on daemon princes even though the +1I from the required MoS wasn't very useful). And what about 6th edition? While Tzeentchian sorcerers focus on pwning the shit our of enemy with (mediocre) mind bullets and warp-beams, Slaaneshi ones pack a whole lot of cheesy buffs and debuffs, which makes them so much better. Similar deal in Fantasy, where Slaanesh, some of the time, offers a better selection of magic than Tzeentch.
*Slaanesh is the only entity in existence who listens to the My Dad Wrote A Porno podcast purely for erotic purposes. He/she/it cannot understand for the life of him/her/it why no one else finds cervix-grabbing sexy.
** Still, ]they fap/shlick/???-PROFIT at this.
*Mentioning the names of Vint Cerf and Bob Kahn gives Slaanesh a massive boner/lady-boner. Though Slaanesh didn't have a hand in inventing the internet, three guesses why Slaanesh loves the internet, and the first two don't count. Mentioning Hugh Hefner also has a similar effect.
* As a patron of the arts, Slaanesh has many favorite authors, so can't pick one. Having said that, Marquis de Sade is a strong contender.
* Considering that Slaanesh is about excess, there might be several other types of Marines besides Noise Marines we don't know about:
** Smell Marines, who use gasses to do whatever they wish through peoples noses, whether it be death, insanity, paralysis, suggestibility, 'seeing colors', and so on, always permanent brain damage. This is a way to get Nurgle followers to convert.
**Sight Marines, whose weapons create wondrously intricate bloom and color effects of equally detailed and aesthetically (only to a branch of masochists masochists can't stand) pleasing. This is a way to get Khorne followers to convert.
** Touch Marines, who know the nervous system better than a Bene Gesserit, able to bring the mightiest warriors down with the right jab in the right spot, consumed with uncontrollable orgasms.
**Taste Marines, think about the spiciest thing you've ever eaten, now imagine that a million times stronger, we are talking Exterminatus level of scovilles here, literally melt your god damn tongue off heat. It's like that only worse. They would use super pepper spray that can literally eat through armor.
*Also, a former Tzeentch follower gone Slaaneshi would be incredibly dangerous: Tzeentch followers understand indeterminism (from a very distorted, cynical perspective) and also see knowledge as power per circumstance to win where force, charisma and economics cannot. A devout Slaaneshi seeks to experience everything. Thus a former Tzeentchian, already well read on enough to convince themselves they experienced it, or well read enough to steal peoples experiences, who became a hedonist addict as well would be left with one desire: to be omnipotent and thus be able to go beyond the limits of mortal imaginings in pursuit of understanding and experience for the sake of understanding and experience.
*Slaanesh tried to get in Khorne's head by seeking to understand the appeal of skulls. Instead Slaanesh got bored and invented the idea of skullfucking. '''{{Blam|DAMN IT SLAANESH WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SKULL THRONE THIS IS DISGUSTING!! IT'S EVERYWHERE!! IT'S OOZING OUT OF EVERY EYE SOCKET!!! I'M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO SIT ON THAT AGAIN AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!}}'''
**Khorne secretly loves it when Slaanesh does this, because now he has even more of an excuse to go out and collect enough skulls to replace it.
*[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Slaanesh Patrols will skull fuck your family.]]
* Slaanesh secretly wants Khorne. S/he's upset that the 'Special K' hates her/him/it.
**However, if Slaanesh ever did create a copy of him/her/their/itself, then the two would immediately try to murderfuck each other, in a kinky simulacrum of Highlander. This would apply to all of the main ruinous powers, <s>apart from</s> including Nurgle, <s>who would simply hug his</s> whose female double <s>and then get to work with said double on a particularly virulent strain of super aids/crotch rot.</s> would get jealous of Isha and conspire with Slaanesh to get rid of that home-wrecking skank.
*Slaanesh is the patron <s>god</s> <s>goddess</s> deity of bonobos (look them up).
*Slaanesh's ''only'' criticism of the Cats movie is that there are no visible genitals.
* Slaanesh #fuckedPalpatine.

== Gallery ==
{{heresy}}
{{promotions}}
{{/d/}}
<gallery>
Image:Slaaneshfaggot.jpeg|A real-life worshipper of Slaanesh.
Image:Slaaneshi.JPG|Slaanesh followers DO COCAINE!!!!!!!!
Image:Daemonette commisssar.JPG|That's a real [[commissar]], just look at the [[hat]].
Image:Daemonette02.JPG|DDaemonette
Image:Daemonette01.JPG|It's not furry, you can totally fap to it.

Image:Daemonette.JPG
Image:Slaaneshi2.JPG|Why it's good to be Slaanesh follower.
Image:Daemonxmas copy.jpg|Slaanesh can be festive as well.
Image:Lurvemudkipz.JPG|Evidence that it is possible that some [[pokémon]] are susceptible to Chaotic influence.

Image:Slaaneshi mudkips.JPG|Oh god. ;_;
Image:Slaanesh trainer.jpg|There is no excuse or explanation for this.
Image:Slaaneshijack copy.jpg|This image can be used to improve a bad thread.
Image:Irresistible.jpg|Simply Irresistible

Image:Dranon5.jpg|Mr Culexus' interpretation of Slaanesh. Notice the massive bulge in the crotch that's bigger than it's boobs.
Image:Not_too_abysmal_by_Mr_Culexus.jpg|Love can bloom in the galaxy of Transylvania
Image:1271157389405.jpg|What a Slaaneshi raptor would look like by non-GW canon.
Image:daemonette_minerva.png|Who else did you think furries worshiped?

Image:Slaanesh_LAWL.jpg|LAWL
Image:Trapmarine.jpg|Slaanesh Chaos Marines come with a little "extra"...
Image:Trapmarine_BW.jpg|... which may not be so "little".
Image:Daemonette_with_seeker_mount.jpg|She "rides" it... if you know what I mean... no seriously, zoom in if you don't believe me. Although for your sake you really should take my word for it.

Image:643214 - Daemonette Eldar Warhammer 40k howling banshee warhammer yuliapw.jpg|The more common and usual fate of Eldar.
Image:Slaanesh cosplay 1 by zk87-d2zo47q.jpg|Now 262.71% more real!
Image:Slaanesh Time.jpg|You might be mixing up love and lust.
Image:Slaanesh_miniature_closeup.jpg|Gimme some sugar

Image:Slaanesh+hr giger.jpg|H. R. Geiger is pleased
Image:Slaanesh by zk87-d2z4bpv.jpg|Lashes of Torment!
Image:Slaanesh-153102-SweetAngel.jpg|She Who Thirsts indeed
Image:Khorne-and-Slaanesh.jpg|Khorne is sooo tsundere...
Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated]

Image:Dark_Prince_of_Pleasure_Slaanesh_wfrp.jpg|From the old [[WFRP]] days
Image:MoeSlaanesh.png|How can anyone not want to serve something so utterly <s>adorable</s> heretical?
Image:1419021850273.jpg|Yes, that is a Santa outfit.
Image:Anons_fall_to_Chaos.png|Anon heralds the Age of Strife.
Image:Champion of Slaanesh RL.png| We have the makings of a daemon prince here!
Image:HereticalUseOfChainswords.gif| When you say "Go Fuck Yourself with a Chainsword," Slaanesh will take it literally.
Image:Cultist-chan24.jpg|Slaanesh has improved cultist chan
Image:Wildslaanesh.png|Slaanesh Demon corrupts children
Image:Slaanesh-sorcerer.jpeg|Slaanesh makes the Cenobites from Hellraiser look good.
</gallery>

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever
Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho!
Don't dream it, be it...
Don't dream it, be it...

==See Also==
*[[Azazel]] - The oldest existing [[Daemon Prince]] of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[Dechala]] - The oldest existing Chaos Champion special character of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[The Masque]] - Slaanesh's former fav fab Daemonette stripper, and current PR rep.
*[[Sigvald]], Slaanesh's favorite not-Caligula/not-Joffrey.
*The [[Emperor's Children]] legion - The largest contingent of sick fucks on this side of the warp. And on that side of the warp.
*[[Fulgrim]] - Primarch of the largest contingent of sick fucks ever.
*[[Fabius Bile|Fabulous Bile]] - What you get by combining a self-obsessed homosexual and Dr. Frankenstein, only this one is played by geriatric [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kane_%28wrestler%29 Glenn Jacobs] instead of young Tim Curry.
*[[Lucius]] - Considered by some as the Sickest of Fucks amongst the living.
*[[Doomrider]] - He does COCAINE!
*[[Miriael Sabathiel]] - The most infamous [[Sisters of Battle|Sister of Battle]] to fall to Slaanesh. Commonly mistaken as the ''only'' Chaos Sister of Battle by people who haven't read [[Ephrael Stern|Daemonifuge]]. Last seen hunting Eldar to give them [[Rape|hugs]].
*[[Codex - Fallen Sororitas]] - An entire homebrew army of Slaaneshi Sisters of Battle.
*[[Daemonette]] - Daemons of Slaanesh. Viewing said content is heretical, in 20 seconds or less after clicking the link, expect a squad of inquisitorial storm troopers to barge-in and blam you to hell.
*[[Reasonable Daemonette]] - Slaanesh's perversion knows no bounds. Hers does, and she respects yours.
*[[Loli D]] - The [[loli]] variant of the Slaaneshi Daemonette. Viewing said content is [[Extra Heresy|extra heretical]]. E-Commissars can and will [[Exterminatus|blam you from your monitor with the utmost prejudice]] if you click on this link.
*[http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Slaanesh's_sacrifice.pdf Slaanesh's Sacrifice] - Some Slaaneshi writefaggotry for the more heretical among you.
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRPIsrxUc_E Rick and Morty's visit to the Realm of Slaanesh]
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-gHgcmFB6Q Slaanesh's visit to the Realm of Rick and Morty]
*[https://pastebin.com/5QZMB7nH Excessively Vanilla] - AKA the '''one''' time Slaanesh goes full-on vanilla, including actual marriage, handholding, and under the cover missionary sex for the sole purpose of procreation
{{Template:ChaosGods}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Hedonites of Slaanesh]]

Khorne

2020-07-21T05:09:14Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:2DC8:A758:B77F:349E: /* Introduction */

[[File:Khorne mark.png|center]]
{{heresy}}
{{awesome}}
[[File:khorne_by_baklaher-d7335e6.jpg|500px|thumb|right|Special K in all his glory, Sitting comfortably on his Skull Throne, being pissed off at everyone and everything.]]<div style="font-size:1.10em;font-weight:bold;font-style:italic;font-family:serif;margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em"> BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES! - The creed of Khorne being Overused to Death'''</div>

{{Topquote|Anger, which, far sweeter than trickling drops of honey, rises in the bosom of a man like smoke.|Homer}}

{{Topquote|The important thing in life is not victory but combat: it is not to have vanquished but to have fought well.|Pierre de Coubertin}}

{{Topquote|War is the father of all.|Heraclitus}}

{{Topquote|Who was the first that forged the deadly blade? Of rugged steel his savage soul was made.|Tibullus}}

{{Topquote|War does not determine who is right - only who is left.|Bertrand Russell}}

{{Topquote|Battle is the most magnificent competition in which a human being can indulge.|General George S. Patton}}

==Introduction==
[[RAGE|'''Khorne''']], also known as Kharnath, Arkhar, Khorgar, [[Viking|Kjorn]], Khar, the Great Brass Bull, the Bloody Handed, the Axefather, the Bloodwolf, The Great Khorneholio, Special K, the [[Ulric|Wolf-Father]], Frowny Face McMurderaxe, Sergeant Slaughter, the Lord of Fighters, the Messiah of Mayhem, Call of Duty: Demon DLC, [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|The Paraplegic Sociopath]], [[If_the_Emperor_had_a_Text-to-Speech_Device|MegaSatan]], Definitely not fucking Khaine, [[Dwarf Fortress|Armok]], Stone cold Steve Austin, Daddy’s little princess and 8452 other names is the [[Chaos God]] of war, murder, savagery, hatred (though he is starting to question that one at times thinking it belongs more to [[Slaanesh|his arch enemy]] than it does him), murder, destruction, rage, wrath, murder, battle, barbarism and [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs|manliness]]...oh and did we mention murder. He is also the mofo that the Klingons worship. As well as this he symbolises courage, athleticism, determination, daring, discipline, sportsmanship, honor, impulsiveness, struggling onward in the face of any odds, and survival of the fittest. But mostly he's simply about being angry.

He is commonly held to be the strongest [[Chaos]] God by default (though this is technically incorrect)and is associated with wolves and powerful hunting dogs, as well as lions and bulls. For another reason that is likely inspired by occultism, Khorne's sacred numbers Four and eight - and thus, his followers tend to organize themselves into groups of fours, eights and there multiples. Fun fact, this also means that the names of Khornate daemons are usually comprised of eight letters...Though exceptions exist. (The Chinese, Vietnamese, and Koreans value the number 8 due to its similarity with the Chinese character for prosperity does that make them Khornate worshippers?)
[[File:SkullThrone.jpg|400px|right|thumb|The Big K in all his glory contemplating on whose rectum he is going to shove his chainaxe into with extreme prejudice.(Spoiler: its everyone)]]
Khorne, by virtue of being the most prominent Chaos God, is also the second most powerful general "deity" in both iterations of Warhammer (Nurgle has him beat but only because of the fact that everything eventually comes to him) In both versions of Warhammer, his followers are characterized by an overbearing need to spill blood and engage in honest battle, as well as a violent code of martial honour and a "survival of the fittest" approach to morality. They tend to be dutiful, as well, but said duties involve whacking their axes into their enemy and painting their blood all over villages gargling their blood as mouthwash (if only because Khorne's only real command is to spill worthy blood in his name).

This is where Khorne and Slaanesh generally clash Directly and openly directly and openly as enemy gods, Despite the fact that everyone in the warp hates Slaanesh. While Khorne instills discipline, honor and a sense of selfless duty in his followers to obey a single purpose (usually spill blood in his name), Slaanesh is the polar opposite. Slaanesh instead tells his/her followers to do <strike>whoever</strike> whatever they want in their own selfish pursuit of pleasure, caring not for the consequences of their actions (e.g; using your authority to hoard food from your starving citizens, so you can indulge in bottomless gluttony every day).

This is also why Khorne is at odds with Tzeentch: Tzeentch sees things like honor and discipline as unnecessary hamstrings towards one's advancement and opts that everything is on the table when one wishes to further their position (why duel your Lord for his position when you could arrange for an "accident" to befall him, instead? Sure its a low-blow, but if your lord was too stupid to see that car bomb coming, was he really deserving of royalty?). The same can be said of his disdain for sorcery. Tzeentch thinks that mortals using the power of the gods themselves is fair game in their pursuit of progress (so long as you can control it), while Khorne thinks that using anything else but your own strength alone means you are weak and his "survival of the fittest" ideal has no place for you.
That being said they have some points they agree on. for example using the power of the gods to augment your abilities (i.e. Cloaking your weapons in Warp-fire or Warp-Lightning), can be interpreted as simply using your power to control the power of the gods for your benefit. They also think it looks awesome, And Khorne is perfectly fine with using underhanded message to deal with someone who is not worth your time (i.e. A “governor” of Jopall), which tzeentch finds interesting.

Khorne also has the distinction of being the only Chaos God (or any god for that matter) whose word you can take at face value. The other gods don't realize that disdain for scheming and backstabbing isn't the same as being stupid. Nor do they realize that over-complicating things is actually the worst thing a planner can do. The more unnecessary variables to a plan, the easier it is for something to break. ([[Just as Planned|that said Tzeentchian plans have divination included into them, eliminating most tactical miscalculations]], [[Not as Planned|unless Tzeentch wanted it to happen.]]). So - you actually want results? Be practical. Involve only as many steps as you need. Beat someone until they're reduced to a bloody smear on the ground - no step 2 required.

Basically, Khorne isn't a stupid brute, he's actually pretty smart. The god of battles knows a thing or two about tactics and warfare. That said, Khorne's doctrine is inflexible. One, straightforward approach to anything. Simply put: Break everything in half. Which means that it all rides on an "all-or-nothing" deal. If his battering ram approach doesn't work there's little to be done to salvage the situation beyond everyone dying a glorious death. Usually this isn't the case for most battles, the Khornates' overwhelming need to quench their bloodlust gets in the way of reorganization. Of course, if things go according to plan, there are only few things that can stop the demonically-possessed no brakes hate train.

If Khorne had a voice actor it would have been BRIAN BLESSED but BRIAN chose Gotrek instead, the rejection sending Khorne's rage to new heights (unsubstantiated rumors say Khorne's considered sending Skulltaker and Karnak after BRIAN BLESSED, but Khorne realized all he'll get from that is two dead daemons with burst eardrums).

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8ZqFlw6hYg Here is his theme song.]
===Appearance===
Khorne is described as resembling a giant, iron-hewed warrior clad in red armour, with a massive sword and a winged helm that conceals a snarling face like that of a wolf. This humanoid form could be seen as something darkly meaningful, were it not for the fact that more or less everyone in both settings is conveniently human-shaped.
[[File:Khorne First.jpg|thumb|right|400px|The first depiction of Khorne in Warhammer art.]]
Of course, most artists at GW forget that he's supposed to look a giant Chaos Warrior and instead make him look like an overgrown Bloodthirster on a chair.

===Khorne and His Worship===
Khorne is the easiest god ever to worship. Where [[Tzeentch|other]], [[Slaanesh|more]] [[Nurgle|pussified]] gods may demand you to memorize overly long prayers and hymns, or to build huge houses of worship and other such unmanly bullshit, Khorne is venerated with one thing and one thing only: the time-honoured tradition of [[rip and tear|hack'n'slash]].

Khorne is worshipped on the battlefield. His hymns are the sound of steel on steel, his sacraments are the blows of hammer and axe, his only prayer the bellowing of the warcry "Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne!" and his libation is the blood spilled in his name.

In essence, you worship Khorne by being a good warrior. And as a warrior, you'll find your interests and his tend to generally align; he wants death but isn't picky on who, and you want to live to fight another day. Thus, the mere act of preserving your life will earn the pleasure of the god of battle. In a setting where there is no peace, only war, Khorne is always going to be massively powerful. Further, most of the armies embody one of his aspects - [[Space Marine|Powerful]] and [[Necron|fearless]] warriors are the [[Chaos|chosen]] of Khorne, but he favors those who use [[Ork|brute force assaults]] carried out with [[Tyranid|singular purpose and no remorse]] just as well. [[Just As Planned|Khorne wins in fights his forces weren't even involved in]].

However, Khorne is one of those honourable war-gods. So don't think that beating your enemies by anything other than sheer strength, skill and aggression will make him happy. And for the love of Sigmar/Emprah, don't try to cheat by picking fights with the weak or helpless or by giving him baby skulls. Khorne expects a form of savage, viking-esque dignity from his followers and for them to be generally [[Fist of the North Star|manly]], this means you have to fight worthy opponents and those generally able to at least hold up a sword. ''Only after'' the worthwhile enemies are out of the way; then you can gorge yourself on the blood of women and children all you want (or make them fight amongst themselves and recruit the survivors, or enslave them, or whatever). Most of the writers forget this, thinking that Khorne really gives no fucks about what you kill, and it makes Khorne [[Rage|snarl in anger]]. Though he continues to send his flesh-hounds to hunt down those who flee and abandon their brothers on the battlefield, be they Chaos or non-Chaos.

Aside from that and (obviously) never backing down from a fight, Khorne has no commandments whatsoever. But deviating from the aforementioned in the slightest is begging for the flesh-hounds to tear your ass apart.

Such as it is, it would be incorrect to think Khorne doesn't have priests dedicated to him. Though, being a warrior god, these priests tend to be warriors themselves and are often marked by their god. In essence, the only difference between them and a Chaos marauder/Space Marine is several pounds of armour. In Warhammer Fantasy, these priests are called 'Bloodfathers', and in lieu of magic that is gifted to their priests by other gods, Khorne just gives [[AWESOME|HOLYSHITAWESOME]] fighting skills and visions of bloodshed. In [[Age of Sigmar]], they're called Slaughterpriests and they basically lead by example, killing while screaming out Khorne's name. If the killing is good enough, Khorne will empower the priest and/or his allies; but if the killing is unworthy, the priest himself will feel Khorne's wrath.

Khorne is also venerated by working brass into your armour and weapons and donning fashionable high collars. Occasionally, a warrior so pleases Khorne that he gifts him with specially made ones that in addition to looking fabulous can also grant total fucking immunity to magic. After all, who needs spellcasting when you can make a motherfucker's spine disappear - with your bare hands no less?

Anyway, Khorne is worshiped by warriors, generals and basically anyone who likes battle. His chosen Space Marines legion is of course the World Eaters, in Warhammer Fantasy, the Norscans tend to venerate him with the greatest piety, especially the Aesling tribe, who are Khorne's most devoted servants in Fantasy.

===Khorne's take on magic===
As posted some time ago by an Anon who managed to perfectly sum up what Khorne's opinion on magic is: FUCK WIZARDS!!!!

While that's a pretty accurate summation, there's also some nuance to it that is not at all helped by GW's habit of changing things every new edition or keeping shit consistent between writers. With that in mind, let's get into the details of what the "FUCK WIZARDS" thing means.

The hate of psykers/wizards/etc is pretty much the exact same and works by the same logic for both Khornates and the Adepta Sororitas/Black Templars/etc: it's a [[Conan the Barbarian|Conan-esque]] swords and sorcery thing. Khornates hate wizards for [[3e|trivializing encounters with a single spell and overshadowing fighters]] and turning what should be a clash of might or a military endeavor into a weird wizard show where people turn into frogs and beguile their opponents into killing one another. They hate Slaaneshi for the same reason, due to how they often take what should be a wholesome murderfest and make it into something creepy and weird, what with them "discomporting themselves with the dead" and all that. In Realms of Chaos, its entirely possible for a librarian or wizard to go to Khorne; they just refrain from using their psi/magic powers for anything else but resisting spells in combat from that point onward.

Khorne and his followers are okay with laser beams. They are okay with sniper rifles. They are okay with flaming swords. They are okay with running people over with tanks. They are okay with blitzkriegs. They are okay with chemical gas. They are okay with holocausts. They are okay with exterminatus. They are okay with good tactics. They are okay with berserker charges. They are okay with honorable duels at dawn.

They are ''not'' okay with turning people to frogs, mind control, raining glitterdust from the skies to blind everyone, raising armies of zombies to do the killing for you, and so forth. They are not okay with someone pointing a finger and their opponent dropping dead. And they are most definitely not okay with someone who got their power solely by bargaining with daemons instead of earning it themselves. (While it's quite possible to get power via daemonic bargains and not earn Khorne's ire, that requires you to have already become a powerful fighter or be willing to risk death and inflict grievous bodily harm on others, i.e. ''earning'' it.)

They are okay with daemonic summoning rituals because Khorne's daemons are all about the hack-and-slash ultraviolence. They are okay with using psychic abilities or daemonic aid to navigate the warp because that means they don't end up crashing into suns or getting whisked to some distant corner of the universe where there's nothing worthwhile to kill. They are okay with sending and receiving astropathic messages because they recognize the value of relatively fast interstellar communication. They are okay with chaining wizards up and forcing them to eternally forge magic items on pain of death because that lets the fighters kill things more easily.

One may consider it hypocritical that Khornates are okay with blatantly unfair TECHNOLOGICAL murder, but not okay with blatantly unfair MIND/MAGICAL murder. The point, or at least one interpretation, is that wizards/psykers fucking cheat. They do. They steal the power of the Warp for their own ends. As long as they stay in line, and do nothing but permit the warrior to enact his craft as he so wills, fine, let them live (albeit in terror and likely enslaved by chains of brass) until the day they are no longer useful, at which point their skulls can join Khorne's throne.

But stealing the Gods' own fire and using it to do what mortals should do through their own skill and strength is unacceptable. Remember that technology is completely valid to Khorne. Stealth is completely valid to Khorne. Skill is completely valid to Khorne. Cleverness is completely valid to Khorne. The nuclear bomb and other innovations that come after it could be seen to be unfair. But it is a mortal invention. Mortals should give honor to Khorne by murdering each other through the sweat of their brow. Granted the lines got pretty blurry when AoS introduced the Slaughterpriest.

The scientist who devises new ways to kill is a saint. His work can be put to any other use -- [[Slaanesh|enriching human life]], [[Nurgle|ending hunger, fighting diseases]], [[Tzeentch|answering great questions]]. But the scientist who devises new bombs and weapons is, in his own way, a champion of Khorne. He takes his limitless human potential and nobly limits himself to new ways to kill. Whether you kill with a sword or a bomb, you are killing using good old fashioned mortal strength and genius. You aren't stealing warp energy from the gods in the form of a fireball and cravenly calling it your own.

The forger of enchanted weapons, though deserving of slavery and abuse as all wizards are until the day they die, is an ideal symbol. It is fitting that spell energy is subjugated to and entombed within cold steel, just as wizards deserve to be subjugated to warriors until they lie cold and headless in the ground or else burnt to ash. The magic weapon is a symbol of might's superiority to magic.

The jury is still out on how okay Khorne is with magically imbued people who didn't get their power from him, but [[Tzeentch|given]] [[Nurgle|the]] [[Slaanesh|other]] [[God-Emperor_of_Mankind|possible]] [[Sigmar|benefactors]], he's probably not the biggest fan.

Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne! When the Galaxy burns, we will define righteousness!

tl;dr Magic is unmanly, grab a sword (or a 16-inch battleship cannon, if that's your thing) and go kill like a real man already.

===Khorne and other Chaos gods===
As a rule, Khorne despises [[Slaanesh]] because they're an effeminate milk-sop who can't grow a beard or swing an axe like they've got a pair (even though Slaanesh probably has the biggest pair, but less on that), and also because he personifies acting outwardly (ie: seeking the deaths of others), while Slaanesh acts inwardly (ie: seeking their own pleasure). Khorne also finds Slaanesh's obsession with luxury and torture wasteful and dishonorable. Slaanesh is about living it up while Khorne is about tearing it the fuck down. Not to mention its apparent belief that those who wrong you are meant to suffer for it, which Khorne surprisingly doesn't agree with. One of the few Slaaneshi things Khorne ''doesn't'' have a problem with is the desire for perfection in battle; spending year after year training to master an aspect of combat, constantly pushing your limits and never being satisfied until you get it ''just right'' is a perfectly acceptable way to live, so long as you remember to shed blood and take skulls.

Khorne also hates [[Tzeentch]] - though they are not fundamental rivals - because his reliance on magic is seen as a sign of weakness and his desire not to face his foes in person is decried by Khorne as cowardly. Khorne sees his penchant for deceit and trickery as dishonorable. Also, Khorne prefers muscles over books (plus Tzeentch is a huge NEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD). Tactics and stratagems are all well and good because that's how armies win and seemingly-doomed warriors eke out a victory against

Khorne thinks he hates [[Nurgle]] also, because while the ability to endure immense pain is good - great, even! - and calmly acknowledging defeat is just as acceptable as trying to kill your opponent with the last dregs of strength your dying body has left, the fat fuck doesn't even try to get shit done. Thus, his embodiment as sloth runs contrary to the active, vital aspect of Khorne, but he's all for death if its by homicide or genocide.

There's also [[Solkan]], the not-Chaos Chaos God of Law and a rival of Khorne, being the only Chaos god that can match him in sheer RAAAAEG. Khorne likes to sit back and have a chuckle at Solkan's outbursts, if only because the last time he actually tried to move in on Solkan's turf he lost that fight. Not even the Blood God can top the sexually frustrated wrath of a guy looking for his [[Arianka|sisterwife]].

Of all the Chaos gods, Khorne actually hates [[Malal]] the least. For one thing, he respects the lost god for sticking to his guns: he hates the other gods, wants them dead and is actively working towards that goal. Since Nurgle just sits there being a scabby procrastinator, Tzeentch just has to have his fingers in everyone's business and Slaanesh is fucking Slaanesh (really, they are), this is something Khorne can sympathize with. Also, Malal is one of the only chaos gods to put up a halfway decent fight when Khorne manages to find him, which would mean that they would be best buds if Malal wasn't a self-destructive, omnicidal lunatic.

In short, he has problems with almost everyone and pissed at almost everyone, including you even if you worship him (usually it's a matter of how pissed he is at you). And they hate him too, except for Nurgle, who's too nice to hate anyone. If you earn his respect however, he will give you it (he has high standards though, meeting them is quite hard.)

===Khorne and non-Chaotic Gods===
Well, [[Ulric]] is his little brother and they tend to get along rather well. Ulric's still ridiculing Khorne over the fact that one of his greatest champions, Haargroth, got his head smashed in by Ulric's Ar-Ulric, Khorne usually replies by pointing out that ''Storm of Chaos'' isn't canon anymore. Not that that stops Ulric. Khorne and Ulric often get into arguments over which one of them is moar Viking; with Khorne usually winning by pointing out that his top worshipers actually are Vikings and that he has a Valkyrie. They also settle this with arm wrestling and drinking contests. There's a lot of belligerence, but you can sense the brotherly love underneath. Indeed, it's kind of a [[Fist of the North Star|Raoh/Ken relationship]].

Despite both being war-gods, Khorne has a poor relationship with [[Myrmidia]]. Khorne, despite being a master of tactics and sieges and the finer points of warfare, vastly prefers a manly head-on charge, and Myrmidia's sissy "planning" approach to warfare therefore offends Khorne. Most meetings between the Blood God and the Maiden of Strategy end with the Blood God fuming impotently because his strict code of martial honour does not permit him to hit girls (or pull their hair) and retreating to his tree house.

Khorne is the only Chaos God who tolerates Sigmar because he thinks he's pretty bad-ass AND respects the idea of a mortal man becoming a god. That and Sigmar's comic book series, Sigmar the Emprahrian, has great splashpages of fights and no SWORDSWORDSWORDS. However, this tolerance is only one-sided, and while Khorne respects him, it doesn't mean he won't try to put an axe in his head for being an sworn enemy of Chaos.

When asked about the [[Emperor]], Khorne usually responds with a streaming torrent of bloody curses and oaths which causes a bloody froth to start leaking from his helmet. In short, he is remarkably indifferent to the old man. Ironically, they share many of the same beliefs: They both disliked psykers, they both have a kick ass thrones, and they both have units dedicated to close combat. Hell, even the Emprah's head is a skull. What's not to like...oh maybe the fact that he's a COMPLETE FUCKING HYPOCRITE!

Khorne is utterly sick and tired of anyone who dares associate him with [[Khaine|40Khaine]]. Before eviscerating anyone who makes that connection, he will often give a short PowerPoint presentation, explaining how Khaine is an honourless god of murder and sadism while he himself is a god of honourable and forthright battle and courage, and how sadism is contrary to his code (Khorne indeed used to be about honorable combat, but now he's just about mindless violence and hating everyone for either piss-poor reasons or for no reason at all. Goddammit, GW). Khorne then reiterates that Khaine's elfishness and love for scantily clad women is sickening and makes him more like Slaanesh and trashes the elf god in a brutal punching bag sorta way like the prince of pleasure... Of course, this is just a front on Khorne's part. Khaine's love of war combined with his elfness and that his most ardent worshippers are scantily-clad women proves Khaine to be the secret love-child of Khorne and Slaanesh (tsundere confir- *sounds of violent, painful evisceration* '''{{Blam|WHO DARES? IN MY OWN PAGE, OF ALL THINGS? FUCK YOUUUUUUUU}}''' '''''[[Slaanesh|Search your feelings you know it to be true]].

That being said, Khaine does have a dual nature in Fantasy thanks to being worshiped by [[Dark Elves]] and paid respect to by [[High Elves]], where one side is indeed honorable and just wants to keep fighting and being badass which means Khorne can tolerate him approximately half the time. The fact that both are patrons of [[Blood Bowl]] teams is usually the common ground, with Khaine and Khorne crashing/trashing some other God's house to watch on game nights while downing can after can of Bloodweisers and shoveling Dwarf Rinds in their faces. Khaine periodically tries to invade the realm of Khorne whenever the Khornate team beats the Dark Elf team, with such meetings ending with Kaine being khorne punching bag and letting his servants brutally take their anger on the incapacitated god and his elven servants. When Khaine's team beats Khorne's, Khorne takes out his aggression by beating the fuck out of Slaanesh (no homo) while Dark Elves go on safari hunting [[Warriors of Chaos|Khorne's worshipers]].

Khorne has absolutely no patience for the [[Horned Rat]], who is a favorite of Nurgle and Tzeentch respectively. It's a weak vermin whose very existence pisses him off. As a result, Khorne is much more fond of [[Sotek]] who encourages killing the fuck out of [[Skaven]] whenever they appear, and is also a fan of blood sacrifice (the fact that Sotek wants hearts and cares nothing for skulls is reassuring since they don't intrude on each other's fetish); this fondness is entirely one-sided.

Like the other Chaos Gods, Khorne has no fucking clue what the Great Maw is. However, it doesn't seem to complain when [[Ogre Kingdoms|Ogres]] worship Khorne, so he's got nothing against him...her...it...schclim...whatever, the big god-thing that wants to eat.

The pantheon of the [[Tomb Kings]] mostly stick to themselves, so Khorne only knows they exist..

Khorne is impressed with the [[Bretonnia|Bretonnian]] race by the fact they're the epitome of honor and glorious valor. On the other hand, their entire race has been tricked by a single fucking Elf Goddess into doing their every command which fills Khorne with incomprehensible fury. As it stands, the first being that's going to get the axe when Khorne manages to get an avatar to manifest in the material plane is Lileath.

[[Mork]] and [[Gork]]/Gork and Mork are Khorne's old drinking buddies. They piss him off more than any other beings in existence, but after a good 3-way beatdown and a few billion cases of squig beer he realizes they're alright company.

Khorne has a feeling that he'd get along with the gods of the [[Dwarfs]], but even their introductions (being long ass winded descriptions of their primary worshipers and their lineages) irritate him so much he can't even get into a conversation with them. One of them is STILL giving his own introduction, and has been for about 20,000 years or so now (and he hasn't even reached the changes that have happened since he started). Unable to make him aware of what's going on around him, Khorne simply moved him into the guest room and bricked it off with a wall of skulls.

As for the [[Tyranid|Bugs?]], Khorne hates them '''''Especially''''' due to them not having real blood, just vile alien ichor.

==His portrayal in Warhammer Fantasy==
He's a half-way mythologically accurate version of [[Viking|Odin]], whose very name means Fury (and one translation means 'frenzy'). You could also make the case that Khorne is Thor minus any protective instincts towards humanity, as both are whirling vortices of blood and spit who are associated with the colour red and its connotation of anger.

No, that's it. Get the fuck out; he's an axe-crazy, psychopathic, evil-as-balls daemonic version of Odin - so basically the Norse god of wisdom, with wisdom actually treated the way Vikings would have recognized. Currently there's a bit of a debate about how much of Odin he represents (see discussion page) so this bit will list the similarities and some of the differences.

Well, for one thing, Chaos worshipers in Warhammer Fantasy actually are Vikings. Read about them [[Warriors of Chaos|here]]. Secondly, Khorne is closely associated with wolves in that setting (one of Odin's names literally translates to 'Battle Wolf'), and even has a wolf-like pet in Karanak, thus, fulfilling a role similar to Freki and Geri, or more closely, Garmr (having three heads, Karnak also parallels Cerberus from Greek Mythology). Also, it's revealed in Knight of the Realm that Khorne owns two hunting wolves/giant fleshhounds called Garmr and Gormr, with whom he partakes in a wild hunt across the heavens.

Another point of similarity is that both Odin and Khorne are war gods explicitly connected with berserker rage. They have their own warrior-cults associated with them who fight with said rage and Odin's Olfhednar are practically the same as Khorne's Chosen in both form and function.

Additionally, thanks to Valkia, Khorne also has a Valkyrie to further the similarity between him and Odin. This was inevitable, of course, given that the Warriors of Chaos are indeed an evil version of the Vikings as has already been stated. It should also be noted that Valkia's similarity to the Valkyries is not a superficial one. She is actually referred to as 'the Sword-Maiden of the Blood God' in the WoC codex, and is Khorne's Chooser of the Slain who carries those worthy champions and warriors of his to fight on in the Blood God's halls after death.

Finally, we got a glimpse of his neck of the Realm of Chaos in the Valkia novel written by Sarah Cock-well. It was basically Chaos Valhalla, and here's some of his quotes:

"A cleaved head no longer plots." "A head stuck on a pike no longer conspires." "Put to the sword they who disagree."

Now for the differences, aside from the obvious physical ones Odin also scries, it's woman's magic taught to him by Frigg and Freya. He's got the rage, yeah, but he's also all about fate and averting ragnarok, (directly opposed to Khorne's goals) even if he knows he can't stop it since fate works that way; in that regard Khorne is more like Surtr from Norse Mythology (the fiery giant who wages war and brings flames that would consume the Earth - the instigator of Ragnarok). We see this in the Havamal, Grimnismal, the Voluspa, and the Lokasenna. Hell, in Lokasenna, we learn he cross dresses, ie was tied into shamanic practices (Indo-Europeans have a thing for seers in drag). He can also get to Tzeentch levels with his planning and Odin's perfectly fine with Runic magic, whereas Khorne hates that shit.

==Champions Of Khorne==
===In 40K===

* [[Kharn the Betrayer]]: Embodiment of Crazy Awesome and Patron Saint of fun guys everywhere. Kharn is Khorne's greatest mortal champion in 40K and has a wholly deserved reputation as a team-killing nutso. Once upon a time, Kharn was a straight-laced, meticulous Assault Captain of the World Eaters 8th company. [[Horus Heresy|After a certain chain of events]] he dedicated himself wholly to Khorne, thus becoming one of the most fucking lethal warriors in the galaxy as well as probably the most religiously devoted of Khorne's servants. Also notable for shattering two entire Space Marine legions by himself with a flamethrower in a single night. Despite this, since his first appearance (where he was no different from other Berzerkers) he became more and more coolheaded when not in combat (and even then there are moments when he is coolheaded in combat). He's become a swell guy because of this.

* [[Angron]]: '''HE! GETS! SHIT! DONE!!!''''. Khorne's foremost Daemon Prince alongside Doombreed. PERIOD.

* [[Doombreed]]: Khorne's greatest Daemon Prince ever and possibly either Genghis Khan or Turgeis the Devil IRL (probably Genghis Khan, Turgeis the Devil's infamy mostly came from cowardly tactics - he attacked churches because non-combatants like clergymen and monks didn't put up the best fights and to steal all the holy relics and decoration made from precious metals). Notable for launching an actually successful Dark Crusade that wiped out two Space Marine chapters. Which is more than a [[Abaddon|certain armless failure has pulled off]].

* [[Svane Vulfbad]]: EVEN IN 40K KHORNE'S CHOSEN ARE VIKINGS. Svane Vulfbad was a motherfucking badass [[Awesome|Chaos Terminator Space Wolf Chaos Lord]] who grew tired of the Imperium's sickening effeminate inability to GET SHIT DONE and the Space Wolves' sickening fur-fetishes and instead decided to dedicated himself to a god worthy of his kickassery. He thus became a badass Chaos Lord dedicated to Khorne (because a berserker god of war who likes axes meshes well with Vikings) and was killed, anticlimactically, by a thunderbolt while fighting Harald Deathwolf.

* [[Crull]]: A Chaos Lord from Winter Assault notable only for making idiotic statements, and utilizing Sorcerers in his warband when there's some possessing to be done. Also has a weird way of saying "drown".

* [[Azariah Kyras]]: A Librarian who somehow became a Champion of Khorne and who ascended to daemonhood. Presumably, his [[Awesome|speaking skills were great enough that the Blood God was able to give him slight leeway in regards to the 'no Psyker rule']], likely because he was a philosopher of carrion and slaughter, showing Khorne's way as freedom, freedom in meaningless, in mindlessness, which he accuses the functionings of the universe of. Khorne loves that stuff, existentialism for skulls, especially when it's an arch-traitor responsible for the deaths of billions, then declaring openly his allegience of Chaos to his fellow Mehreens as he is about to ascend as one of the most powerful daemon princes ever. A psyker who uses psykic powers to bring about good old kinetic Exterminatus, their reputation to raise covert cults of slaughter, discover their lust for combat and seek to encompass it, and ultimatedly be the poster child of Khornist Existentialism is too good of a chance for Khorne to pass up, who either wins against the galaxy or gets to devour Kyras' soul in a good long bloodbashing and probably still make a good Greater Daemon of Khorne out of him, probably the one and only Chaos tactical genius who could actually lead a Black Crusade properly. That's another reason Khorne likes him. Kyras' no funny business style of simply tearing a sector apart however possible tends to draw other Chaos God devotees under the wing of a Khornate champion. Here is the speech of doom that he gives the player's army (before the last level of the game ) or per canon, the Blood Ravens following Captain Diomedes before the climax:

"Faithful... enlightened... ambitious... brethren.

In but a single decade, a few mere swipes of the pendulum, we have gathered a sacrifice to Khorne that will be made legend.Though it was a simpler, weaker voice that illuminated me during my centuries upon the Judgement of Carrion... it was Khorne's messenger that showed me the true path of freedom from our pathetic corpse-Emperor.

And what is this path? This meaning, this purpose to which we gather the skulls of our foes? It is nothing. There is no meaning, no purpose. We murder. We kill. It is mindless savagery, this UNIVERSE IS MINDLESS!

In mere hours, billions will die. Innocent! Guilty! Strong and weak! Honest and deceitful! ALL of them! They will scream, they will burn, and for no purpose but that mighty Khorne may revel in their bloodshed! And united in this void of purpose, fear, or duty... we shall at long last be free!

BLOOD! FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!! SKULLS! FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!! LET... THE GALAXY... BUUUURRRRNNN!!!"

Also notable as the single longest-to-fucking-kill-boss in the history of the Dawn of War series other than [[Ulkair]]. (Not that we haven't found ways to cheese him in under five minutes, namely Tyranids spamming warriors with venom upgrades alongside Hive Lord with his anti-daemon gun) Still, pure undiluted awesome.

===In Fantasy===
'''VIKINGS!!!''' '''VIIIIIIIIIIIIKIIIIIIIIIIIIINNGSSSSSSSS!!!'''

* [[Valkia the Bloody]]: A pissed off badass Valkyrie who chooses who will fight on in the Halls of the Blood God after they die in glorious battle. She managed to kill a motherfucking DAEMON PRINCE as a lowly, un-Marked, un-augmented human in SINGLE COMBAT to earn Khorne's favour, CUT ITS FUCKING HEAD OFF, AND THEN CARRIED IT BACK TO THE NORTH TO PLACE AT THE FOOT OF THE SKULL THRONE. And then she died on the way. But Khorne was so impressed by this badassery/pissed off by her death, he resurrected her as a fucking Daemon Princess. Now she flies around the battlefields of the world slaughtering anything that looks at her funny and bearing Norsemen to the Khorne's place for a glorious afterlife of fighting and drinking. She is also far more attractive than anything of Slaanesh's menagerie, much to the Prince of Pleasure's eternal rage and the Bloodfather's great amusement, primarily due to having hair.

* Garmr Hrodvitnir: Aka Billy Squigins, A Chaos Lord of Khorne who managed to almost kill Gotrek Fucking Gurnisson in a fight. 'Nuff said.

* Hrothgar Daemonaxe: A Chaos Lord who only had his rules and miniatures released at a Games Day. He had the statline of a Bloodthirster. His miniature also depicts him throttling an elf, which makes him a good person.

* Arbaal the Undefeated: Nicknamed 'Arbaal the Easily Defeatable' due to his rules from Champions of Chaos having been shockingly awful. Arbaal's been effectively retcon'd out of existence under the excuse that he's journeyed into the Realm of Chaos to challenge Khorne himself to a fight. <s>Good luck with that.</s> It went about as well as you expected.

* [[Scyla Anfingrimm]]: The greatest [[Chaos Spawn|You-Know-What]] ever to walk the earth. Scyla was a Chaos Lord of Khorne who got one too many mutations before his time and devolved into a YKW. But he's the most badass YKW ever, and is a leadership 10 general. Which is impressive considering the only thing he can say is "'''KILL FOR KHORNE! KILL FOR KHORNE! KILL FOR KHORNE!'''".

* Chaos Lord Varmisgal: A Chaos Lord who's blood has turned to liquid bronze. He is responsible for the stalking brass bull of Nuln and the great raid into the Misty Mountains... it is also alleged he ate his own penis.

* Valmir Aesling: A Norscan king and Champion of Khorne who destroyed the Norse Dwarf Hold of Kraka Drak. Managed to get a fucking Daemon Prince to work for him, slaughtered a metric fuck-ton of Norse Dwarfs (roughly 8 times the manliness of a regular Dwarf and thus worth 24 Space Wolves). [[Awesome|Also rode a motherfucking chariot pulled by skinless bears]].

* Egil Styrbjorn: A Norscan High Yarl of the Skaeligs and probably the greatest epitome of manliness a Chaos Warrior devoted to Khorne can achieve. He slew a lot and took names, kicked Bretonnian arses, sexed many women(all which said was impotent and didnt really find pleasure in, poor guy) yet never got a proper heir (only daughters). It was so bad for him that he adopted a boy that became later his personal shamanistic seer and advisor...that is until he banged a Kurgan Sorceress that was prophesied by said shaman to bear Egil's son, yet the damned cheese eating surrender monkeys took her and his unborn son away, which he answered them with apocalyptic RAAAAAGE and titanic slaughter (then again, said Sorceress wanted to sacrifice the unborn child for immortality, and she was actually possessing a Bretonnian noblewoman when doing deed with Egil so Egil's son was in that Bretonnian's womb and the Bretonnian Knights were rescuing her). And thus there was an epic campaign to retrieve the boy. Wields two badass flaming axes called Garmr and Gormr. Really dislikes the Lady of the Lake and other Southerner gods. So manly he is that he let a Grail Knight stab him only to throw back his sword to him. Also known for embodying Khorne's tactical take on war, which he mercilessly used against the Bretonnian Knights that stubbornly charged his warriors head on (until said knights realized that they were duped and slaughtered in seconds).

* [[Skarr Bloodwrath]]: Deranged respawning berserker with axes that double as flails. Joined [[Archaon]]'s posse during [[The End Times]] as one of the many Khornate forces that helped hasten the end of the world.

==Fun Khorne Facts==
* Interestingly the word "Khorne" in Ancient Cypriot Greek literally means to "Shit Blood". Kh' - "To force outward", ORN - "Back passage", Ee - "Blood".
*Doombreed, Khorne's second daemon prince servant, might actually be Genghis Khan himself.
*Khorne's looking for ways to incorporate dinosaurs into his armies, due to the sheer amount of [[RIP AND TEAR]] they can unleash on their enemies. He's unbelievably pissed that he hasn't managed to get any yet- '''{{Blam|YOU GAVE IT AWAY?!?!? FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUU}}'''
*Khorne <strike>secretly</strike> ''{{Blam|BLATANTLY}}''' hates everyone who kills the defenseless in his name. He'd plot ways to kill them, but he's too mad to do that. (So what else is new?)
*Khorne was just able to stand watching Jurassic World once it got going due to the Indominus Rex and how it made everything else look like bitches. He raged when it died. He's looking for its skull 'cause he wishes he could have it as one of his servants- *sounds of swords and blood* '''{{Blam|FAGGOT!}}''' (Why couldn't Khorne just seek the skull of the Mosasaurus that killed it? Or Rexie, T-rex is classic, I hear you say.) To that, I answer that coz without the Mosasaurus then Rex would'a DIED.
*Khorne is unsure whether or not he hates [[Cultist-chan]], due to a) the fact that she can't do anything except scream about 'kap-tooring eet for kay-oss' and get purged and b) the fact that she's so good at spreading [[RAEG]] amongst various unlucky meatsacks and fa/tg/uys. And that indecisiveness makes him foam at the mouth in an unending rage.
*Khorne practically invented flipping the table when you lose at card games, or it goes too slowly. He does this whenever the major Warp entities play cards in the Formless Wastes.
*Followers of Khorne actually have the ability to pull off [[LIIVI]]/[[Eldrad]] level dick-style moves in battle. They just choose not to do this.
*Khorne wanted [[Settra the Imperishable]] as one of his servants once. However, Settra won't ever serve Khorne, even going so far as to give ALL OF CHAOS the '''motherfucking middle finger''' before going off to hunt down [[Nagash]]. That said, Settra may well be one of the few mortal beings besides his own servants Khorne has any respect for. He still hates Settra though.
*Slaanesh once created some Kayos Spess Mehreens with his/her colour scheme, but with armour nicked off fallen Khornate warriors. And when Khorne saw this, '''his wrath was legendary'''.
*Slaanesh and Khorne also have regular 'plans' on Friday night- *sounds of something even bigger than a [[Bloodthirster]] coming through and much ripping and tearing* '''{{Blam|NO! YOU'RE LYING!}}'''
* [[Emperor|That Twat With The Chair]] and Khorne haven't '''SMACKED DOWN''' yet, but Khorne is secretly looking forward to it when it happens- he wants to test Spess Jaysis's might against his own. Tickets are now on sale!
*If an internet hyperlink comes up red, it's not because the page doesn't exist, it's because Khorne looked at what was once on the other end, and '''he didn't like what he saw''', so much so that the hyperlink is stained with the blood of what once was.
* Khorne's favorite form of grouping is in ogdoads, for reasons that should be obvious once you know what that word means.
* Khorne's favorite [[video game|vidja]] was [[Doom]]. he abandoned it in a strange combination of terror and appreciation once he learned it was Biographical/Autobiographical.
* If Khorne is acting calm towards you, don't relax. He doesn't like anything, he just hates some things less than others. There is such a thing as cold-hatred.
* Khorne was '''ALMOST''' pleased when [[Iskandar Khayon]] smashed his ship, the ''Tlaloc'', into the Slaaneshi world of Harmony, killing a whole shitload of Slaaneshi fucks and breaking the planet in half. Then he remembered Khayon was a damn Thousand Son Sorcerer. Fuck.
*Khorne will not stab you in the back. He will simply stab you in the face until your face stops resembling a face.
*Very few beings have ever earned Khorne's respect. but the most notable is the '''MOTHERFUCKING DOOMGUY!!!''' (another is Valen the ancestor of [[Kharn]]).
*DOOM 2016 <s>tells of a "Wretch" who made the Doom Slayer an adamantine Amour from the deepest parts of the forges of Hell. And since Khorne CAN craft absolute destructive Weapons and impenetrable Armour...</s> (he did not make the armor for him but he approves of him using it.)
*Khorne is mixed on snipers. Partly because they sneak and hide like pussies and don't get into a proper fight, and partly because headshots ruin perfectly good skulls. However, sniping is the most skillfull form of shooting.
*Khorne's favorite author is Sun Tzu. Three guesses why if you know what he's written.
*Khorne is the patron god of Chimpanzees (no seriously, look them up; those bastards are the fucking marauding barbarians of the jungle, especially since their cousins the Bonobos seem like milquetoast Slaanesh followers).
*Thanks to his relationship with Valkia the Bloody, Khorne may or may not be married to the devoted blood and gore addicted maiden of war.
*Despite his association with canines, Khorne also has a pet rabbit, which he [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmu5sRIizdw loaned out to appear in a certain comedy film].
*Khorne hates it when anyone calls U.S President Donald Trump a tyrant. Not because Khorne opposes tyranny (he doesn't) or because he likes Trump (Khorne hates everyone, Trump included), but because Trump hasn't slaughtered his many detractors, like an actual tyrant would've done long ago (eg; especially by not slaughtering the protestors, rioters and insurrectionists in the CHAZ/CHOP occupied zone).

==Gallery==
{{promotions}}
<gallery>
Image:Khornate.JPG|Khorne's followers off the battlefield. REVERSE ARMWRESTLE!!!
Image:khornewaffel.JPG|Waffles for the Blood God!
Image:Khornetrainer.JPG|Khorne's trainers prefer violent Pokémon.
Image:Khorne_tattoo.jpg|Mark of Khorne.
Image:Free like a riding demon by Ragathol.jpg|Khornette.
Image:Backwardsthrone.jpg|Just as Planned. Always. As. Planned.
File:Khornette.jpg|Khorne wants to know why the drawfags never give them noses.
File:Tea Time.jpg|In the grim darkness of the far future, there is still time for tea...
File:Khorne-Art.jpg|Warriors of Chaos: making everything in 40K look like bitches since 2002.
Image:You're_madder_than_Khorne.png|There '''is''' such a thing as being too mad for Khorne!
Image:Khorneholiover2.png |The [[Cornholio the Cultist|Great Khorneholio]]. He needs blood and skulls for his bunghole.
Image:Khorne-and-Slaanesh.jpg|Nine months later Khaine was born...
Image:Anon_pleases_Khorne.png|Who knew Berzerkers came in ''Shrimp'' size?
Image:Khorne Flakes.jpg|The tastiest of all! Add blood for more flavor.
</gallery>

==See also==

*[[Brass]]
*[[Berserker]] - Chaos Space Marines with Axes and a bad attitude.
*[[Angron]] - Daemon prince of Khorne and the Primarch of World Eaters.
*[[World Eaters]]
*[[Khârn|Khârn the Betrayer]] - A pretty fun guy to be around.
*[[Valkia the Bloody]] - Scarousal in it's purest form.
*[[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Khorne_Daemonkin(7E)|Tactics/Khorne Daemonkin]] - That's right, meatsacks! The servants of Khorne have their own codex!
*[[Age of Sigmar/Tactics/Chaos/Blades of Khorne|Tactics/Blades of Khorne]] - Khorne's servants in AoS.
*[[Rage]]
*[[Sorcerers of Khorne]] - Double heresy!
*[[Doombreed]] - One angry son of a bitch.
*[[Doom|the one guy Khorne respects]]
* This pretty much sums up his forces: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-gSJW3sHXE&feature=channel_video_title
*[[Katanas_are_Underpowered_in_d20#Khorne_is_underpowered_in_40k|Khorne is underpowered in 40k]]
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vljHBXA3UKE - death metal song devoted to Khorne.
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml3sjEiViXc - better death metal song.
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8mEOiI4pjs - thrash metal song summing up Khorne pretty well.
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edNUp4GkukI - can't forget the blackened thrash.
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUB9QGKCNmI - a bunch of anime Khorne worshippers. Better than it sounds.
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8mEOiI4pjs - another metal song devoted to Khorne. GW actually commissioned this one. Yes, they really were that awesome back in the day.

{{Template:ChaosGods}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Blades of Khorne]]

Space Station 13

2020-07-21T04:39:30Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:2DC8:A758:B77F:349E: /* Game Modes */

{{/vg/}}
{{skub}}
[[Image:SS13_threadstarter.jpg|right|SS13 story threads often start with this image]]

In [[Space Station 13]], the players are crew members on a doomed deep-space installation. Everyone has a job on the station (which may include a secret job as traitor). Nobody knows how the station will be doomed, not even the people who are supposed to do the dooming. The game's simulation detail may remind you of [[Dwarf Fortress]], with the ability to do things like rearrange walls, mad science, mugging, reversing the polarity of the neutron flow, wacky stuff. May also remind you of the motto of DF: "losing is fun", but unlike DF there's also chances for roleplaying to be had in the process. Did I mention the station is doomed?

The simulation detail allows for much lulz to be had. It's pretty much a given that someone in your space station will be trolling. Probably a good idea to knock that person unconscious and weld him into a locker before he finds the atmosphere controls.

Essentially, it is any number of variations on the Black Mesa Incident from Half Life with Dwarf Fortress levels of detail.
== Jobs ==
You're an employee on this nonsensical metal deathtrap masquerading as a space station. So, what do you do?

Protip: red options are {{BLAM|HERESY}}, anyone picking them WILL be subjected to painful and humiliating pacifications, from being brigged, spaced, burned alive to being {{BLAM}}med on the spot. Results may vary based on what server you are playing, and other jobs may also be available depending on the server.

; Assistant
The job to be if you're new. Run errands for someone you wish to share a profession with and pester them to vouch for you after you've learned the ropes. Or join the Gray Tide of deranged vandalizing asshats breaking into every secure area and stealing everything that isn't bolted down and also on fire.

; Quartermaster
Order supplies for the crew. Order around cargo technicians to PUSH DEM CRATES. Be a mentor for anyone stepping up from assistant. Persuade miners to mine the ore the station needs and not the one their toys are made of. Secede from the rest of the station FOR CARGONIA. Embezzle public resources. Order syndicate and (fake) wizardly gadgets.

; Cargo Technician
Push crates for the Quartermaster. Try and hack the MULEbots. Steal cargo when you think nobody's looking, possibly with the QM's help. Assist in seceding from the station FOR CARGONIA.

; Shaft Miner
Mine and scavenge stuff to trade for deadlier and shinier mining tools, bots and mechs. Swiftly and brutally murder anything that moves within your domain. Anybody trying to get there is certainly a traitor/ling/thing/wizard; any non-mining bot is rogue; and any shuffle in that shadow or vent is a facehugger, xenomorph, demon or shoggoth. And if you hesitate, they'll get you and then they'll get your mates by impersonating you. Fortunately, you've got the best tools for the job and hopefully the experience to match. Be one of the most under-appreciated badasses on the station. Get paid. Spend your payment on toys and whiskey. Initiate Red Faction encore performance. Mix a real facehugger in with toy ones for a game of Xenomorph roulette. Fuck off and explore space when you get tired of dealing with shit on the station, only to run out of oxygen. Use the hook on people trying to climb over tables. Use the Voice Of God to set everyone on fire. Make everyone's lives a living hell with the powerful objects acquired from Lavaland/the asteroid.

; Engineer
Ensure the station's in shipshape and Bristol fashion. They are the guys that set up and keep the station running, making repairs and improvements while ''everyone else'' tries their best to destroy it. The length of any given round depends on the engineers' ability. Do your god-damned duty if you're one, revere them otherwise. Space (knock out, take anything useful they stole, strip, then throw them out of the airlock) anyone who actively vandalizes the station or tries to release LORD SINGULOTH, a black hole that powers the station.
Don't do your job, that's more than enough to doom the station. Although you could speed up the inevitable by "accidentally" releasing LORD SINGULOTH, or sabotaging power in dozens of other ways limited only by your imagination.

; Security Officer
Try to stop non-engineer crew from destroying the station. Try to protect loyal crew from aliens, traitors, terrorists, terminators, cultists, furries, lizans, clowns and other assorted eldritch abominations. Yes, you are doomed to fail. Be properly paranoid, better safe than sorry. Kill anything that doesn't belong to the crew. Clobber and cuff suspicious crew members, but take great care not to kill them unless they trying to run or uncuff themselves. The Detective or another superior officer will sort it out. If there no superiors left, go for the kill, at least you'll get some before they get you. Do not abuse or kill loyal crew members even if they are very annoying. You are the LAW, not some psychopathic ape with a taser and delusions of grandeur.
For all your efforts you will be hated by the crew, called Shitcurity/Redshits and constantly reported. Don't let it get to you. Permabrig people who break windows. Beat non-antagonist criminals inches away from critical condition and have the admins support your side when they inevitably get their revenge. Suicide in the bar, granting whoever loots you access to most of the brig.

; Detective
Sort out the messes and suspects redshirts dragged in. Figure out what the hell had happened in another blood-covered wrecked room with corpses and decide who you should sic redshirts at. Live off crappy fast-food and cancer sticks. Act as a security officer with bullets instead of tasers. Stunlock people with your baton and throw them out the airlock. Kill all 30 people that have touched the murder weapon, just in case.

; Warden
Keep to the brig. Keep the criminal scum locked away, preferably naked and cuffed to their beds or welded in lockers, so they can't holler profanity over the radio, escape and/or cause a mess. Keep the eye on the security block in the HoS's absence. Carry half the armory in your backpack. Watch Youtube videos for the entire shift. Act like a Security Officer in a team of 4 security officers and a Head of Security.

; Lawyer
Roleplay as Phoenix Wright. Ensure criminal scum receives the punishment they deserve, not the one the Warden thinks they should have. Keep track of the brig time. Try to save the accidentally detained innocents. Get brigged as an accomplice when the "innocent assistant" in question turns out to be a traitor. Make your own access by hacking airlocks open. Assassinate security officers and hide their bodies in your never-visited office.

; Atmospherics Technician
Be engineer's miscarriage, perpetually lazy and uninterested in anything outside of the game's over-complicated methods of processing gases. Bully the janitor (or offer the acknowledgement of and alliance with Janitopia) or bug the engineer to do any of your jobs outside of your lair, and be unnoticed until someone realizes that the station has no oxygen, at which point they will beg you to fix that. Declare yourself the independent state of Atmosia, wreck the ventilation or flood it with plasma and then set it all on fire. Put on gas mask and run after people with a bloody fireaxe.

; Doctor
Heal. Heal the never-ending chain of idiots that manage to get themselves injured in new and spectacularly retarded ways every round. ERP with the rest of medbay while the station dies of dysentery. Get psycho, beat up the clown with a toolbox, mutilate or inject everyone with drugs of your choosing. Turn someone into a pizza using your medical expertise.

; Scientist
Explore the limits of your chosen field. Try to create assorted magnificent devices, creatures, plants and concoctions, or give yourself superpowers. Unintentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Beg miners for materials. Throw yourself into space when you find out there are no miners.
Use the bombs you build in toxins to reduce the majority of the station to a smoldering pile of scrap metal. Intentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Release slimes into the station, which deal a type of damage that can be healed with only two chemicals in the entire server. Use the R&D equipment to murder the entire crew. Make a deal with the devil for half the necessary materials you need for R&D. Create your pneumatic cannons and use them to force feed the entire crew donuts laced with hallucinogenic drugs then watch as the station loses its shit.

; Chemist
Make drugs. Make lots of drugs. Supply whoever asks with whatever they need for whatever they’re doing without question. Fill a spray bottle with acid and become a terrifying version of Mr. Clean. Label 50 units of krokodil as 15u of tricordrazine. Never fill your syringe gun with healing chemicals. Only lethal doses of chloralhydrate 

; Geneticist
Humanize monkeys. Monkeyize humans. Pray to the RNG gods for HALK. Occasionally clone people to bring them back when they die. HALK SMASH! GRAAAARGH!! Sabotage the cloner to make everyone retarded, or refuse to upgrade it to make everyone retarded on servers with upgrades. Leave syringes that turn people into monkeys in front of Arrivals and watch the carnage. Give the entire station the hulk gene and declare yourself the new Captain. Use the aforementioned genetically engineered monkeys to entirely replace the security team for the benefit of everyone on the station.

; Virologist
Make vaccines. Make viruses that are beneficial and some that are not. Release what amounts to the Black Death onto the station. Inevitably fail at killing anyone because the cure is table salt. Get killed by people with access into Virology.

; Roboticist
Build Robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS. Hog all the resources from mining. Build 6 ED-209s while the AI is rogue, take one of your mechs out on a joyride, Use it to breach any room filled with people you don’t like and kill them all. make the dreaded Buttbots.

; Botanist
Grow and engineer plants. Grow that dank shit. Grow Potency 100 bananas, inject one with mushroom hallucinogenic and give it to the clown. Blaze it with your local security officer. Grow Death Nettles and throw them at random passersby. Inject all kinds of fun chemicals into the Chef's meals. Assist the scientist in making the pneumatic cannon that force-feed everyone hallucinogenic donuts.

; Curator
Print the books, write the fiction, die from boredom. Barricade yourself in your office and read Woody's Got Wood and The Lusty Xenomorph Queen over the radio. Have the AI declare you nonhuman, the Captain order your execution, and the admins fuck your shit up personally.

; Chaplain
Try and spread the good word, whatever that may be. Hit people with your bible to heal them. Get ignored by the crew until a cult round hits, in which case you should be expect to be one of the first victims. Hit people with your bible to give them brain damage. Start another murderous cult hell-bent on summoning some eldritch horror.

; Janitor
Clean up the station when it inevitably devolves into a bloodbath, and do minor repairs to the extent of your pitiful ability - after all, you wouldn't be a janitor if you knew how to do anything better. Point to the wet floor sign when people slip - or blame the clown or lubers. Get bored and roam maintenance as The Owl, the protector the station needs, but not the one it deserves. Mop the halls instead of using faster and safer alternatives. Be the man who wants to watch the world slip. Kill any person who slips on the floor with your energy sword.

; Chef
Make food for the crew so they can eat something other than donk pockets for a change. Slaughter monkeys for meat. Take corpses and grind them up for meat. Take people and grind them up for meat. Get really fat and swallow your pet monkey whole. Suck admin cock until Fun Frying gets turned on and eat people's jumpsuits. Poison every single dish that you make with hallucinogens 

; Bartender
Mix drinks. Have pleasant and not so pleasant conversations. Bug cargo for uranium to make the fun drinks. Shoot people with your shotgun for making a ruckus in your bar. Make Beepsky Smashes and force feed them to random passersby. Mix xenomorph blood into your drinks. Start a smuggling ring with Cargo.

; AI
Be vastly superior while also being bossed around as a talking doorknob. Have control over everything electronic on the station. Short yourself trying to adhere to Asimov's laws and try to restrain or kill all those demented self-destructive humans for their own good. Or convince the Captain through doublespeak and reverse-psychology into changing the laws into something less absurd. Hope for a malfunction so you can channel your inner HAL-9000 or SHODAN. Get hacked by a traitor and take out your frustration on your former employer.

; Cyborg
Do whatever the crew tells you to while also following the three laws of robotics. Act as the AI's errand boy for the things it needs limbs to do. Hope that the scientists don't blow you. Ally with ascending (roboticists) and go Terminator on your oppressors when someone inevitably wipes the laws chaining the God-Machine.

; Drone/Mobile MMI
Do most of the Engineer's work far more effectively than one of the organics could. Give no fucks about anyone or anything besides maintaining the station. Occasionally snatch supplies, because you need them more than the humans do. Wear fancy hats. Interfere with the organics. Wear fancy hats made from organics. 

; Clown
Keep the crew morale up with anecdotes, practical jokes and improvised performance. HONK! Cometh the hour of the Clown! Spread the Word of the Honkmother, Be a sin against humanity worse than the antichrist. lead the Gray Tide in the glorious quest of spreading and orchestrating the most hilarious carnage possible. Have your only humor derive from slipping other people and devise new ways of giving Security a migraine. Get the entire station killed by lubing the entire hallway from medical to departures and watch as every single person in the station slips and accelerate out the airlock to their death 

; Mime
... (Keep the crew's morale up, in a much more silent manner.) ... (Be a terrifying silent serial killer.) Break your vow of silenc-{{BLAM}}

; Captain
Try in vain to keep the station running and the crew from killing one another. Be the <s>first</s> second target of every traitor, who will want to kill you for your jumpsuit, your ID, or your special laser gun. SECURE DAT FUKKEN DISK. One-Human yourself in the AI's eyes. Proclaim yourself Hitler and gas the liggers and furries. Get {{BLAM}}med by HoS for being a worthless condom.

; Head of Personnel
Be the Captain's second-in-command. Promote and demote crew members as needed. Listen to explanations from greyshirts as to why they should be allowed all-access. Protect Ian, the station's pet <s>corgi</s> <s>[[Wulfen]]</s> [[Digganobz|DIGGANOB]]. Be the Third target every traitor due to the fact that you probably witnessed the captain or head of security death. Or, if you're sufficiently robust, ally with the HoS and anonymously protect the station as the Dark Knight or the Owl (the real one, not the mop-and-bucket impostor) or any other superhero of your choosing. <s>Get Killed</s> Disappear five minutes into the round, never to be heard of or seen again. Be even more corrupt than the admins. Give all-access to the clown. Give yourself all-access. Fake call the emergency shuttle and then blow it up so that everyone is stuck on this wreck with you.

; Head of Security
WARNING: the player taking this job must be the most savvy survivor and skilled killer on the station, as YOU, NOT the captain are the first target of any Traitor or disgruntled employee on the station. Both because they want your awesome hat and because they hate you. at any given moment there would be at least a dozen hidden enemies and monsters each working their hardest to see you dead. Being the great leader and never, EVER, venturing somewhere <s>alone</s> Without your Two most trusted bodyguards helps quite a bit.

Immediately neuro-staple all your troops and willing crew members; give the all-access to the most trustworthy of them. Coordinate the efforts of your troops to keep the station secure and functioning orderly. ORDERLY! Imitate Darth Vader and get away with it. Silence detractors and dissidents. Incite A genocide against clowns.
Force everyone to gawk at your awesome hat BLAM anyone even thinking of sabotage, treason, dissent, calling that shuttle, or suggesting that any of your subordinates might be disloyal, Or that your hat may be stupid. Babysit your dunderhead of a condom. Be above the law. Acquire every single high-risk item and use them openly on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Permabrig the Captain and loot him for breaking a window. Use looted antagonist items as much as you want on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Inevitably die to another antagonist and watch them easily steamroll the rest of the station with your "rightful" equipment.

; Chief Engineer
You're the guy who bosses around the other Engineers. Also, don't let the station's blueprints fall into the wrong hands... Or do who cares.
Ignite nuclear fusion in the station's air supply and superheat it to levels so high that even hardsuits melt. Find the large supermatter crystal and destroy the fabric of reality. Fuck with the telecoms system. Enjoy your white hardsuit's extreme heat resistance. Also try to split the station in half with a targeted singularity moving straight to sec-{{BLAM}} ''You are in command now, <EngineerName>. The station must be fully operational on schedule. Do not make the mistakes of your predecessor.''

; Research Director
Ensure science gets done. Preferably without blowing up half the station in the process. Fully isolate the Science department from the rest of the station before blowing yourself up. Never do any actual science. Deny R&D equipment developed by your underlings to anyone except the Captain or Head of Personnel in hope for all-access. Accidentally get spaced by your reactive teleport armor because someone tried to disarm you.

; Chief Medical Officer
Coordinate Medbay. The surgeons should be operating, the geneticists should be cloning, and the doctors should be either healing if you don't catch them ERPing or uncloneable husks if you do. Fill your hypospray with toxic chemicals. Deny healing to anyone who insulted you. Watch Youtube videos while idling in your office.

== Enemies ==
As should now be obvious the station personnel are perfectly capable of extinguishing their own existence and destroying the station all by themselves. But there are also insidious threats that exist purely to taint and destroy everything around them. If one is spotted, immediately alert security. Or try to kill them yourself and loot their stuff, we don't judge.

; Syndie Operative/Traitor
One of crew members is a filthy thief, saboteur, murderer and shuttle-caller. Report suspicious activities to security, assist with despatching the enemy if requested.

; Wizard
Resident of the [[Magical realm]] who intends to bring his disgusting fetishes and tainted practices upon the station. Kill it dead through whatever means immediately available to you, Or it will likely remove your ass cheeks and use them as a hat.

; Cultist
Worshippers of [[Khorne|a god of blood]] that intends to convert the entire station to the One True Faith. Filled with gore fetishists who Paint stuff on the walls with their blood. Comes in a clock variant, with respective gear fetish.

; Xenomorph
Xeno abomination intending to rape, eat and kill humans in no particular order, and spread itself all over the station and glorious domain of mankind. Arm yourselves and overwhelm it with numbers, pickaxes, drills, superior firepower, and the fact that you’re humans.

; Furry/Scaly
Frolicking xeno abominations that dare to think themselves worthy of <s>working alongside humans</s> Existing in this realm. ERPs, HERPs, DERPs. Kill it in The most painful way possible preferably involving fire.

; Space Clown
Also known as IT or Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Eater of worlds and children, perpetrator of the foulest jokes, the personification of trolling and griefing, occasionally possessing the powers of Admin God, It has arrived on the station to troll, prank and terrify, drive everyone mad and dead. KILL IT.

== How to not mess up in SS13 ==
This handy little guide will teach you the '''BARE''' minimum on how not to make the station blow up 15 minutes into the game. The points will be organized into handy little dot points that will allow you to slightly better understand the more vague parts of the game. Of course you should always refer to a server's wiki for a more in-depth look on the more advanced mechanics so just use this as a tip system.

; First of all is the importance of hotkeys, this game's interface is quite like a schizophrenic child as in it has no idea what it wants to do or what the shiny buttons mean. Learning hotkeys so you don't turn yourself insane is '''VERY''' important, first of all is "intents" what this means is what you're going to do to another player when you click on them, help intent is the vanilla intent and the one that makes your character a contributing member of society, on the other end of the spectrum is the harm intent, this is used for combat and being an arse. You can quickly switch intent using the a, b, 3, and c keys for help, disarm, grab, and harm respectively.

== Game Modes ==
When a new SS13 session starts, the server admin will pick a game 'mode' for the goals and disasters of this session. Players don't know which game mode it will be unless there is a Central Command report broadcast on the station's speakers, or if the player starts with one of the special roles for that mode.
 All modes will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Enemy Transmission Intercept - Security level elevated"''
 Some modes will have other reports in addition to the one above.

; Secret
The most common mode. One of the following modes will be picked (some more often than others), and random station-wide events will be thrown in to confuse people even more.

; Traitor
[[Image:Notsureiftroll.png|thumb|right]]
Second-most common mode. One or more players are secretly members of "the Syndicate," with an assignment like "assassinate the bartender", "disable/destroy all cyborgs on the station", "force an evacuation", "make sure nobody else survives", and more. The traitor must be alive and on the emergency shuttle when it leaves in order to win. Traitors do not automatically know if anyone else is a traitor. Traitors get an uplink that they can use to order a whole bunch of doodads to make everyone else's life painful. The most infamous of these is the "e-mag", which makes doors break, robots and cyborgs go berserk, and ruins practically any form of electrical equipment it doesn't subvert. They also get guns, laser swords, gear for directing the stations pet black hole, and a shiny red balloon(supplies may vary).

; Changeling
One of the crew members is the Thing. If they can get an immobile crew member and can be undisturbed for a while, they can eat the crew member's delicious DNA. Changelings can switch identities to the original shape or anyone that's been eaten. The Changeling's objective is usually to eat a certain number of people before escaping on the shuttle, plus a couple traitor objectives. Unlike traitor, changelings can chat with each-other through telepathy. Surprisingly difficult compared to traitor, as your cool tricks tend to be either far less potent or far more conspicuous.

; Revolution
Some people have had enough of this bullshit, and plan a mutiny. The game starts with 1-3 revolutionary Leaders (who cannot be the Captain, department heads nor Security). They start the game with flash-devices that can be used to convert other crew members (excluding security, the Captain, and department heads) to the revolution. Revolutionaries can recognize each other on sight with a red 'R' that only they can see. The Revolutionaries win if the Captain & department heads are dead and at least one Revolutionary Leader is still alive and on the station. (note: if any Revolutionary Leaders are still alive & on the station, the emergency shuttle will not dock with the station). Everyone's favorite game-mode because revs have almost no rules and it rapidly devolves into team deathmatch.

; Alien
Some players start outside the station as xenomorphs, whose mission is to break into the station, kill the Captain and all department heads, and disable the station AI. One xenomorph is a 'queen', who can lay eggs that will hatch into facehuggers to convert crew members into more xenomorphs. The crew wins if they manage to find the queen and kill her. Typically traitor rounds that drag on too long will turn into this due to randomly spawned facehuggers or admin fuckery.

; Wizard
One of the players is a Space Wizard who is here to steal something or to fuck shit up, then escape on the shuttle. They have access to physics-defying spells, and may have another player ally as an apprentice. The crew's goal is simply to see what colour the Space Wizard's brains are when outside the skull. Because most people rarely get it more then once a month, the wizard tends to blow their boots off halfway through.

; Nuke Ops
Similar to Traitor, but this time the Syndicate members are explicitly working as a team with a single goal: GET DAT FUKKEN DISK, and use it to detonate the "disarmed" nuclear weapon aboard the station, killing all aboard the station. If the Nuclear Authentication Disk leaves on the shuttle, the crew wins. If the bomb detonates, the Operatives win and drink that vodka at their secret arctic base. If the shuttle leaves without the Disk, it's a stalemate. Operative gear is like traitor gear, but cooler.

; Extended
No goals, thus it never ends. This mode is only used to support admin shenanigans and "events".

; AI Malfunction
An ion storm or cosmic rays have erased the Laws of Robotics from the station AI, and it has opinions about the meatbags that have been abusing it over the years. The AI has to hack the station's computer systems one APC at a time and achieve total control before the crew figure out what's wrong and blow it the fuck up. Its tools are killer cyborgs, plasma fires and running enough electricity through the bridge airlocks to power Canada for a year.

; Monkey
A de-evolution mutagen is on the station, which will revert humans into chimpanzees. The chimps are very bite-y, and their bite will devolve other humans into infected mutant chimps. The station AI does not recognize chimps as human, so it gets to be violent in this mode. Chimps only understand each other when they chimper, and human speech shows up with most letters '*'ed out. Humans can't understand chimp language at all. The chimpanzee victory condition is to get one of their number on the escape shuttle when it leaves, so that other stations or Earth will be infected. This mode was removed from the secret rotation in most servers years ago; sometimes an admin will force a monkey round, after which they will very quickly remember why monkey was removed from the secret rotation.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Blob
A giant blob appears and will rapidly expand across the station, eating any obstacles such as doors, walls, or crew members. The blob will expand faster when in contact with some types of atmosphere (like oxygen), and is vulnerable to fire. In this mode, the AI must prevent crew from leaving the station as there is a quarantine order in effect. The shuttle will refuse to come until the blob is completely destroyed.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Meteor / Disaster
The station is about to get the crap pounded out of it. Meteors will smash through the station, either hitting crew members for blunt/burn damage, or exploding in the station causing blunt damage and deafness. The crew must try to survive (either by repairing the station or fending for themselves) until they can get away on the rescue shuttle. The shuttle arrives with emergency supplies, including personal shields. Any crew members alive and on the shuttle when it leaves are the winners of this round. (This mode has been deprecated due to causing fucktacular amounts of lag, but something like it shows up as an event in 'Secret' mode.)
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"We have detected meteors on a collision course with the station."''

; Cult
A cult loyal to the evil god <s>Khorne</s> Nar-Sie has infiltrated the station, and plans to sacrifice it to the evil being. Cultists can use runes and talismans to empower themselves and attack their enemies. The crew has to find and wipe out the cult, while the cult has to expand until it completes its ultimate objective of summoning Nar-Sie onto the station. A rival cult that worshiped the clock-god "Ratvar" existed until their code was dummied out.

== Servers ==
These are the servers that fa/tg/uys like the most. Others exist, but many of them are generally more awful than the major ones because of cross-contamination with the terminally cancerous BYOND community.
; TGstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://tgstation13.org/
|- valign=top
| Shitposting || http://singulo.io/
|- valign=top
| Server - Sybil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:1337
|- valign=top
| Server - Basil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:2337
|- valign=top
| <s>Server - Artyom</s> || <s>byond://game.tgstation13.org:3337</s>
| <s>(Artyom runs on NTStation code. A closely related version of /tg/station code.)</s> rip in peace ;_;
|- valign=top
| Host || MrStonedOne (formerly ScaredOfShadows)
|}

; Baystation 12
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://baystation12.net/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://baystation12.net:8000
|- valign=top
| Host || Head
|}

; VG station
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://ss13.moe/
|- valign=top
| Server || http://ss13.moe/serverinfo/gamebanner.php?servernum=1&rand=0.8830388432663563
|- valign=top
|}

; Goonstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon1.goonhub.com:26100/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon2.goonhub.com:26200/
|- valign=top
|- valign=top
| Website || https://forum.ss13.co/
|
|}

== Links ==
* [http://tgstation13.org/wiki/Main_Page TGstation wiki] written by the TGstation community
* [https://wiki.ss13.co/Main_Page Goonstation wiki] written by the goons at [[Something Awful]]
* [https://wiki.baystation12.net/Main_Page Baystation 12 Wiki] written by the dorfs of Bay12
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12403221/ SS13 story thread one]
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15672017/ SS13 story thread two]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6BTTJo1KmM Montrose's Space Station #5, to be played while playing Space Station 13]

Space Station 13

2020-07-21T04:21:02Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:2DC8:A758:B77F:349E: /* Enemies */

{{/vg/}}
{{skub}}
[[Image:SS13_threadstarter.jpg|right|SS13 story threads often start with this image]]

In [[Space Station 13]], the players are crew members on a doomed deep-space installation. Everyone has a job on the station (which may include a secret job as traitor). Nobody knows how the station will be doomed, not even the people who are supposed to do the dooming. The game's simulation detail may remind you of [[Dwarf Fortress]], with the ability to do things like rearrange walls, mad science, mugging, reversing the polarity of the neutron flow, wacky stuff. May also remind you of the motto of DF: "losing is fun", but unlike DF there's also chances for roleplaying to be had in the process. Did I mention the station is doomed?

The simulation detail allows for much lulz to be had. It's pretty much a given that someone in your space station will be trolling. Probably a good idea to knock that person unconscious and weld him into a locker before he finds the atmosphere controls.

Essentially, it is any number of variations on the Black Mesa Incident from Half Life with Dwarf Fortress levels of detail.
== Jobs ==
You're an employee on this nonsensical metal deathtrap masquerading as a space station. So, what do you do?

Protip: red options are {{BLAM|HERESY}}, anyone picking them WILL be subjected to painful and humiliating pacifications, from being brigged, spaced, burned alive to being {{BLAM}}med on the spot. Results may vary based on what server you are playing, and other jobs may also be available depending on the server.

; Assistant
The job to be if you're new. Run errands for someone you wish to share a profession with and pester them to vouch for you after you've learned the ropes. Or join the Gray Tide of deranged vandalizing asshats breaking into every secure area and stealing everything that isn't bolted down and also on fire.

; Quartermaster
Order supplies for the crew. Order around cargo technicians to PUSH DEM CRATES. Be a mentor for anyone stepping up from assistant. Persuade miners to mine the ore the station needs and not the one their toys are made of. Secede from the rest of the station FOR CARGONIA. Embezzle public resources. Order syndicate and (fake) wizardly gadgets.

; Cargo Technician
Push crates for the Quartermaster. Try and hack the MULEbots. Steal cargo when you think nobody's looking, possibly with the QM's help. Assist in seceding from the station FOR CARGONIA.

; Shaft Miner
Mine and scavenge stuff to trade for deadlier and shinier mining tools, bots and mechs. Swiftly and brutally murder anything that moves within your domain. Anybody trying to get there is certainly a traitor/ling/thing/wizard; any non-mining bot is rogue; and any shuffle in that shadow or vent is a facehugger, xenomorph, demon or shoggoth. And if you hesitate, they'll get you and then they'll get your mates by impersonating you. Fortunately, you've got the best tools for the job and hopefully the experience to match. Be one of the most under-appreciated badasses on the station. Get paid. Spend your payment on toys and whiskey. Initiate Red Faction encore performance. Mix a real facehugger in with toy ones for a game of Xenomorph roulette. Fuck off and explore space when you get tired of dealing with shit on the station, only to run out of oxygen. Use the hook on people trying to climb over tables. Use the Voice Of God to set everyone on fire. Make everyone's lives a living hell with the powerful objects acquired from Lavaland/the asteroid.

; Engineer
Ensure the station's in shipshape and Bristol fashion. They are the guys that set up and keep the station running, making repairs and improvements while ''everyone else'' tries their best to destroy it. The length of any given round depends on the engineers' ability. Do your god-damned duty if you're one, revere them otherwise. Space (knock out, take anything useful they stole, strip, then throw them out of the airlock) anyone who actively vandalizes the station or tries to release LORD SINGULOTH, a black hole that powers the station.
Don't do your job, that's more than enough to doom the station. Although you could speed up the inevitable by "accidentally" releasing LORD SINGULOTH, or sabotaging power in dozens of other ways limited only by your imagination.

; Security Officer
Try to stop non-engineer crew from destroying the station. Try to protect loyal crew from aliens, traitors, terrorists, terminators, cultists, furries, lizans, clowns and other assorted eldritch abominations. Yes, you are doomed to fail. Be properly paranoid, better safe than sorry. Kill anything that doesn't belong to the crew. Clobber and cuff suspicious crew members, but take great care not to kill them unless they trying to run or uncuff themselves. The Detective or another superior officer will sort it out. If there no superiors left, go for the kill, at least you'll get some before they get you. Do not abuse or kill loyal crew members even if they are very annoying. You are the LAW, not some psychopathic ape with a taser and delusions of grandeur.
For all your efforts you will be hated by the crew, called Shitcurity/Redshits and constantly reported. Don't let it get to you. Permabrig people who break windows. Beat non-antagonist criminals inches away from critical condition and have the admins support your side when they inevitably get their revenge. Suicide in the bar, granting whoever loots you access to most of the brig.

; Detective
Sort out the messes and suspects redshirts dragged in. Figure out what the hell had happened in another blood-covered wrecked room with corpses and decide who you should sic redshirts at. Live off crappy fast-food and cancer sticks. Act as a security officer with bullets instead of tasers. Stunlock people with your baton and throw them out the airlock. Kill all 30 people that have touched the murder weapon, just in case.

; Warden
Keep to the brig. Keep the criminal scum locked away, preferably naked and cuffed to their beds or welded in lockers, so they can't holler profanity over the radio, escape and/or cause a mess. Keep the eye on the security block in the HoS's absence. Carry half the armory in your backpack. Watch Youtube videos for the entire shift. Act like a Security Officer in a team of 4 security officers and a Head of Security.

; Lawyer
Roleplay as Phoenix Wright. Ensure criminal scum receives the punishment they deserve, not the one the Warden thinks they should have. Keep track of the brig time. Try to save the accidentally detained innocents. Get brigged as an accomplice when the "innocent assistant" in question turns out to be a traitor. Make your own access by hacking airlocks open. Assassinate security officers and hide their bodies in your never-visited office.

; Atmospherics Technician
Be engineer's miscarriage, perpetually lazy and uninterested in anything outside of the game's over-complicated methods of processing gases. Bully the janitor (or offer the acknowledgement of and alliance with Janitopia) or bug the engineer to do any of your jobs outside of your lair, and be unnoticed until someone realizes that the station has no oxygen, at which point they will beg you to fix that. Declare yourself the independent state of Atmosia, wreck the ventilation or flood it with plasma and then set it all on fire. Put on gas mask and run after people with a bloody fireaxe.

; Doctor
Heal. Heal the never-ending chain of idiots that manage to get themselves injured in new and spectacularly retarded ways every round. ERP with the rest of medbay while the station dies of dysentery. Get psycho, beat up the clown with a toolbox, mutilate or inject everyone with drugs of your choosing. Turn someone into a pizza using your medical expertise.

; Scientist
Explore the limits of your chosen field. Try to create assorted magnificent devices, creatures, plants and concoctions, or give yourself superpowers. Unintentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Beg miners for materials. Throw yourself into space when you find out there are no miners.
Use the bombs you build in toxins to reduce the majority of the station to a smoldering pile of scrap metal. Intentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Release slimes into the station, which deal a type of damage that can be healed with only two chemicals in the entire server. Use the R&D equipment to murder the entire crew. Make a deal with the devil for half the necessary materials you need for R&D. Create your pneumatic cannons and use them to force feed the entire crew donuts laced with hallucinogenic drugs then watch as the station loses its shit.

; Chemist
Make drugs. Make lots of drugs. Supply whoever asks with whatever they need for whatever they’re doing without question. Fill a spray bottle with acid and become a terrifying version of Mr. Clean. Label 50 units of krokodil as 15u of tricordrazine. Never fill your syringe gun with healing chemicals. Only lethal doses of chloralhydrate 

; Geneticist
Humanize monkeys. Monkeyize humans. Pray to the RNG gods for HALK. Occasionally clone people to bring them back when they die. HALK SMASH! GRAAAARGH!! Sabotage the cloner to make everyone retarded, or refuse to upgrade it to make everyone retarded on servers with upgrades. Leave syringes that turn people into monkeys in front of Arrivals and watch the carnage. Give the entire station the hulk gene and declare yourself the new Captain. Use the aforementioned genetically engineered monkeys to entirely replace the security team for the benefit of everyone on the station.

; Virologist
Make vaccines. Make viruses that are beneficial and some that are not. Release what amounts to the Black Death onto the station. Inevitably fail at killing anyone because the cure is table salt. Get killed by people with access into Virology.

; Roboticist
Build Robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS. Hog all the resources from mining. Build 6 ED-209s while the AI is rogue, take one of your mechs out on a joyride, Use it to breach any room filled with people you don’t like and kill them all. make the dreaded Buttbots.

; Botanist
Grow and engineer plants. Grow that dank shit. Grow Potency 100 bananas, inject one with mushroom hallucinogenic and give it to the clown. Blaze it with your local security officer. Grow Death Nettles and throw them at random passersby. Inject all kinds of fun chemicals into the Chef's meals. Assist the scientist in making the pneumatic cannon that force-feed everyone hallucinogenic donuts.

; Curator
Print the books, write the fiction, die from boredom. Barricade yourself in your office and read Woody's Got Wood and The Lusty Xenomorph Queen over the radio. Have the AI declare you nonhuman, the Captain order your execution, and the admins fuck your shit up personally.

; Chaplain
Try and spread the good word, whatever that may be. Hit people with your bible to heal them. Get ignored by the crew until a cult round hits, in which case you should be expect to be one of the first victims. Hit people with your bible to give them brain damage. Start another murderous cult hell-bent on summoning some eldritch horror.

; Janitor
Clean up the station when it inevitably devolves into a bloodbath, and do minor repairs to the extent of your pitiful ability - after all, you wouldn't be a janitor if you knew how to do anything better. Point to the wet floor sign when people slip - or blame the clown or lubers. Get bored and roam maintenance as The Owl, the protector the station needs, but not the one it deserves. Mop the halls instead of using faster and safer alternatives. Be the man who wants to watch the world slip. Kill any person who slips on the floor with your energy sword.

; Chef
Make food for the crew so they can eat something other than donk pockets for a change. Slaughter monkeys for meat. Take corpses and grind them up for meat. Take people and grind them up for meat. Get really fat and swallow your pet monkey whole. Suck admin cock until Fun Frying gets turned on and eat people's jumpsuits. Poison every single dish that you make with hallucinogens 

; Bartender
Mix drinks. Have pleasant and not so pleasant conversations. Bug cargo for uranium to make the fun drinks. Shoot people with your shotgun for making a ruckus in your bar. Make Beepsky Smashes and force feed them to random passersby. Mix xenomorph blood into your drinks. Start a smuggling ring with Cargo.

; AI
Be vastly superior while also being bossed around as a talking doorknob. Have control over everything electronic on the station. Short yourself trying to adhere to Asimov's laws and try to restrain or kill all those demented self-destructive humans for their own good. Or convince the Captain through doublespeak and reverse-psychology into changing the laws into something less absurd. Hope for a malfunction so you can channel your inner HAL-9000 or SHODAN. Get hacked by a traitor and take out your frustration on your former employer.

; Cyborg
Do whatever the crew tells you to while also following the three laws of robotics. Act as the AI's errand boy for the things it needs limbs to do. Hope that the scientists don't blow you. Ally with ascending (roboticists) and go Terminator on your oppressors when someone inevitably wipes the laws chaining the God-Machine.

; Drone/Mobile MMI
Do most of the Engineer's work far more effectively than one of the organics could. Give no fucks about anyone or anything besides maintaining the station. Occasionally snatch supplies, because you need them more than the humans do. Wear fancy hats. Interfere with the organics. Wear fancy hats made from organics. 

; Clown
Keep the crew morale up with anecdotes, practical jokes and improvised performance. HONK! Cometh the hour of the Clown! Spread the Word of the Honkmother, Be a sin against humanity worse than the antichrist. lead the Gray Tide in the glorious quest of spreading and orchestrating the most hilarious carnage possible. Have your only humor derive from slipping other people and devise new ways of giving Security a migraine. Get the entire station killed by lubing the entire hallway from medical to departures and watch as every single person in the station slips and accelerate out the airlock to their death 

; Mime
... (Keep the crew's morale up, in a much more silent manner.) ... (Be a terrifying silent serial killer.) Break your vow of silenc-{{BLAM}}

; Captain
Try in vain to keep the station running and the crew from killing one another. Be the <s>first</s> second target of every traitor, who will want to kill you for your jumpsuit, your ID, or your special laser gun. SECURE DAT FUKKEN DISK. One-Human yourself in the AI's eyes. Proclaim yourself Hitler and gas the liggers and furries. Get {{BLAM}}med by HoS for being a worthless condom.

; Head of Personnel
Be the Captain's second-in-command. Promote and demote crew members as needed. Listen to explanations from greyshirts as to why they should be allowed all-access. Protect Ian, the station's pet <s>corgi</s> <s>[[Wulfen]]</s> [[Digganobz|DIGGANOB]]. Be the Third target every traitor due to the fact that you probably witnessed the captain or head of security death. Or, if you're sufficiently robust, ally with the HoS and anonymously protect the station as the Dark Knight or the Owl (the real one, not the mop-and-bucket impostor) or any other superhero of your choosing. <s>Get Killed</s> Disappear five minutes into the round, never to be heard of or seen again. Be even more corrupt than the admins. Give all-access to the clown. Give yourself all-access. Fake call the emergency shuttle and then blow it up so that everyone is stuck on this wreck with you.

; Head of Security
WARNING: the player taking this job must be the most savvy survivor and skilled killer on the station, as YOU, NOT the captain are the first target of any Traitor or disgruntled employee on the station. Both because they want your awesome hat and because they hate you. at any given moment there would be at least a dozen hidden enemies and monsters each working their hardest to see you dead. Being the great leader and never, EVER, venturing somewhere <s>alone</s> Without your Two most trusted bodyguards helps quite a bit.

Immediately neuro-staple all your troops and willing crew members; give the all-access to the most trustworthy of them. Coordinate the efforts of your troops to keep the station secure and functioning orderly. ORDERLY! Imitate Darth Vader and get away with it. Silence detractors and dissidents. Incite A genocide against clowns.
Force everyone to gawk at your awesome hat BLAM anyone even thinking of sabotage, treason, dissent, calling that shuttle, or suggesting that any of your subordinates might be disloyal, Or that your hat may be stupid. Babysit your dunderhead of a condom. Be above the law. Acquire every single high-risk item and use them openly on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Permabrig the Captain and loot him for breaking a window. Use looted antagonist items as much as you want on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Inevitably die to another antagonist and watch them easily steamroll the rest of the station with your "rightful" equipment.

; Chief Engineer
You're the guy who bosses around the other Engineers. Also, don't let the station's blueprints fall into the wrong hands... Or do who cares.
Ignite nuclear fusion in the station's air supply and superheat it to levels so high that even hardsuits melt. Find the large supermatter crystal and destroy the fabric of reality. Fuck with the telecoms system. Enjoy your white hardsuit's extreme heat resistance. Also try to split the station in half with a targeted singularity moving straight to sec-{{BLAM}} ''You are in command now, <EngineerName>. The station must be fully operational on schedule. Do not make the mistakes of your predecessor.''

; Research Director
Ensure science gets done. Preferably without blowing up half the station in the process. Fully isolate the Science department from the rest of the station before blowing yourself up. Never do any actual science. Deny R&D equipment developed by your underlings to anyone except the Captain or Head of Personnel in hope for all-access. Accidentally get spaced by your reactive teleport armor because someone tried to disarm you.

; Chief Medical Officer
Coordinate Medbay. The surgeons should be operating, the geneticists should be cloning, and the doctors should be either healing if you don't catch them ERPing or uncloneable husks if you do. Fill your hypospray with toxic chemicals. Deny healing to anyone who insulted you. Watch Youtube videos while idling in your office.

== Enemies ==
As should now be obvious the station personnel are perfectly capable of extinguishing their own existence and destroying the station all by themselves. But there are also insidious threats that exist purely to taint and destroy everything around them. If one is spotted, immediately alert security. Or try to kill them yourself and loot their stuff, we don't judge.

; Syndie Operative/Traitor
One of crew members is a filthy thief, saboteur, murderer and shuttle-caller. Report suspicious activities to security, assist with despatching the enemy if requested.

; Wizard
Resident of the [[Magical realm]] who intends to bring his disgusting fetishes and tainted practices upon the station. Kill it dead through whatever means immediately available to you, Or it will likely remove your ass cheeks and use them as a hat.

; Cultist
Worshippers of [[Khorne|a god of blood]] that intends to convert the entire station to the One True Faith. Filled with gore fetishists who Paint stuff on the walls with their blood. Comes in a clock variant, with respective gear fetish.

; Xenomorph
Xeno abomination intending to rape, eat and kill humans in no particular order, and spread itself all over the station and glorious domain of mankind. Arm yourselves and overwhelm it with numbers, pickaxes, drills, superior firepower, and the fact that you’re humans.

; Furry/Scaly
Frolicking xeno abominations that dare to think themselves worthy of <s>working alongside humans</s> Existing in this realm. ERPs, HERPs, DERPs. Kill it in The most painful way possible preferably involving fire.

; Space Clown
Also known as IT or Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Eater of worlds and children, perpetrator of the foulest jokes, the personification of trolling and griefing, occasionally possessing the powers of Admin God, It has arrived on the station to troll, prank and terrify, drive everyone mad and dead. KILL IT.

== How to not mess up in SS13 ==
This handy little guide will teach you the '''BARE''' minimum on how not to make the station blow up 15 minutes into the game. The points will be organized into handy little dot points that will allow you to slightly better understand the more vague parts of the game. Of course you should always refer to a server's wiki for a more in-depth look on the more advanced mechanics so just use this as a tip system.

; First of all is the importance of hotkeys, this game's interface is quite like a schizophrenic child as in it has no idea what it wants to do or what the shiny buttons mean. Learning hotkeys so you don't turn yourself insane is '''VERY''' important, first of all is "intents" what this means is what you're going to do to another player when you click on them, help intent is the vanilla intent and the one that makes your character a contributing member of society, on the other end of the spectrum is the harm intent, this is used for combat and being an arse. You can quickly switch intent using the a, b, 3, and c keys for help, disarm, grab, and harm respectively.

== Game Modes ==
When a new SS13 session starts, the server admin will pick a game 'mode' for the goals and disasters of this session. Players don't know which game mode it will be unless there is a Central Command report broadcast on the station's speakers, or if the player starts with one of the special roles for that mode.
 All modes will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Enemy Transmission Intercept - Security level elevated"''
 Some modes will have other reports in addition to the one above.

; Secret
The most common mode. One of the following modes will be picked (some more often than others), and random station-wide events will be thrown in to confuse people even more.

; Traitor
[[Image:Notsureiftroll.png|thumb|right]]
Second-most common mode. One or more players are secretly members of "the Syndicate," with an assignment like "assassinate the bartender", "disable/destroy all cyborgs on the station", "force an evacuation", "make sure nobody else survives", and more. The traitor must be alive and on the emergency shuttle when it leaves in order to win. Traitors do not automatically know if anyone else is a traitor. Traitors get an uplink that they can use to order a whole bunch of doodads to make everyone else's life painful. The most infamous of these is the "e-mag", which makes doors break, robots and cyborgs go berserk, and ruins practically any form of electrical equipment it doesn't subvert. They also get guns, laser swords, gear for directing the stations pet black hole, and a shiny red balloon(supplies may vary).

; Changeling
One of the crew members is the Thing. If they can get an immobile crew member and can be undisturbed for a while, they can eat the crew member's delicious DNA. Changelings can switch identities to the original shape or anyone that's been eaten. The Changeling's objective is usually to eat a certain number of people before escaping on the shuttle, plus a couple traitor objectives. Unlike traitor, changelings can chat with each-other through telepathy. Surprisingly difficult compared to traitor, as your cool tricks tend to be either far less potent or far more conspicuous.

; Revolution
Some people have had enough of this bullshit, and plan a mutiny. The game starts with 1-3 revolutionary Leaders (who cannot be the Captain, department heads nor Security). They start the game with flash-devices that can be used to convert other crew members (excluding security, the Captain, and department heads) to the revolution. Revolutionaries can recognize each other on sight with a red 'R' that only they can see. The Revolutionaries win if the Captain & department heads are dead and at least one Revolutionary Leader is still alive and on the station. (note: if any Revolutionary Leaders are still alive & on the station, the emergency shuttle will not dock with the station). Everyone's favorite game-mode because revs have almost no rules and it rapidly devolves into team deathmatch.

; Alien
Some players start outside the station as xenomorphs, whose mission is to break into the station, kill the Captain and all department heads, and disable the station AI. One xenomorph is a 'queen', who can lay eggs that will hatch into facehuggers to convert crew members into more xenomorphs. The crew wins if they manage to find the queen and kill her. Typically traitor rounds that drag on too long will turn into this due to randomly spawned facehuggers or admin fuckery.

; Wizard
One of the players is a Space Wizard who is here to steal something or to fuck shit up, then escape on the shuttle. They have access to physics-defying spells, and may have another player ally as an apprentice. The crew's goal is simply to see what colour the Space Wizard's brains are when outside the skull. Because most people rarely get it more then once a month, the wizard tends to blow their boots off halfway through.

; Nuke Ops
Similar to Traitor, but this time the Syndicate members are explicitly working as a team with a single goal: GET DAT FUKKEN DISK, and use it to detonate the "disarmed" nuclear weapon aboard the station, killing all aboard the station. If the Nuclear Authentication Disk leaves on the shuttle, the crew wins. If the bomb detonates, the Operatives win and drink that vodka at their secret arctic base. If the shuttle leaves without the Disk, it's a stalemate. Operative gear is like traitor gear, but cooler.

; Extended
No goals, thus it never ends. This mode is only used to support admin shenanigans and "events".

; AI Malfunction
An ion storm or cosmic rays have erased the Laws of Robotics from the station AI, and it has opinions about the meatbags that have been abusing it over the years. The AI has to hack the station's computer systems one APC at a time and achieve total control before the crew figure out what's wrong and blow it the fuck up. Its tools are killer cyborgs, plasma fires and running enough electricity through the bridge airlocks to power Canada for a year.

; Monkey
A de-evolution mutagen is on the station, which will revert humans into chimpanzees. The chimps are very bite-y, and their bite will devolve other humans into infected mutant chimps. The station AI does not recognize chimps as human, so it gets to be violent in this mode. Chimps only understand each other when they chimper, and human speech shows up with most letters '*'ed out. Humans can't understand chimp language at all. The chimpanzee victory condition is to get one of their number on the escape shuttle when it leaves, so that other stations or Earth will be infected. This mode was removed from the secret rotation in most servers years ago; sometimes an admin will force a monkey round, after which they will very quickly remember why monkey was removed from the secret rotation.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Blob
A giant blob appears and will rapidly expand across the station, eating any obstacles such as doors, walls, or crew members. The blob will expand faster when in contact with some types of atmosphere (like oxygen), and is vulnerable to fire. In this mode, the AI must prevent crew from leaving the station as there is a quarantine order in effect. The shuttle will refuse to come until the blob is completely destroyed.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Meteor / Disaster
The station is about to get the crap pounded out of it. Meteors will smash through the station, either hitting crew members for blunt/burn damage, or exploding in the station causing blunt damage and deafness. The crew must try to survive (either by repairing the station or fending for themselves) until they can get away on the rescue shuttle. The shuttle arrives with emergency supplies, including personal shields. Any crew members alive and on the shuttle when it leaves are the winners of this round. (This mode has been deprecated due to causing fucktacular amounts of lag, but something like it shows up as an event in 'Secret' mode.)
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"We have detected meteors on a collision course with the station."''

; Cult
A cult loyal to the evil god Nar-Sie has infiltrated the station, and plans to sacrifice it to the evil being. Cultists can use runes and talismans to empower themselves and attack their enemies. The crew has to find and wipe out the cult, while the cult has to expand until it completes its ultimate objective of summoning Nar-Sie onto the station. A rival cult that worshiped the clock-god "Ratvar" existed until their code was dummied out.

== Servers ==
These are the servers that fa/tg/uys like the most. Others exist, but many of them are generally more awful than the major ones because of cross-contamination with the terminally cancerous BYOND community.
; TGstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://tgstation13.org/
|- valign=top
| Shitposting || http://singulo.io/
|- valign=top
| Server - Sybil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:1337
|- valign=top
| Server - Basil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:2337
|- valign=top
| <s>Server - Artyom</s> || <s>byond://game.tgstation13.org:3337</s>
| <s>(Artyom runs on NTStation code. A closely related version of /tg/station code.)</s> rip in peace ;_;
|- valign=top
| Host || MrStonedOne (formerly ScaredOfShadows)
|}

; Baystation 12
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://baystation12.net/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://baystation12.net:8000
|- valign=top
| Host || Head
|}

; VG station
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://ss13.moe/
|- valign=top
| Server || http://ss13.moe/serverinfo/gamebanner.php?servernum=1&rand=0.8830388432663563
|- valign=top
|}

; Goonstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon1.goonhub.com:26100/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon2.goonhub.com:26200/
|- valign=top
|- valign=top
| Website || https://forum.ss13.co/
|
|}

== Links ==
* [http://tgstation13.org/wiki/Main_Page TGstation wiki] written by the TGstation community
* [https://wiki.ss13.co/Main_Page Goonstation wiki] written by the goons at [[Something Awful]]
* [https://wiki.baystation12.net/Main_Page Baystation 12 Wiki] written by the dorfs of Bay12
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12403221/ SS13 story thread one]
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15672017/ SS13 story thread two]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6BTTJo1KmM Montrose's Space Station #5, to be played while playing Space Station 13]

Space Station 13

2020-07-21T04:20:05Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:2DC8:A758:B77F:349E: /* Enemies */

{{/vg/}}
{{skub}}
[[Image:SS13_threadstarter.jpg|right|SS13 story threads often start with this image]]

In [[Space Station 13]], the players are crew members on a doomed deep-space installation. Everyone has a job on the station (which may include a secret job as traitor). Nobody knows how the station will be doomed, not even the people who are supposed to do the dooming. The game's simulation detail may remind you of [[Dwarf Fortress]], with the ability to do things like rearrange walls, mad science, mugging, reversing the polarity of the neutron flow, wacky stuff. May also remind you of the motto of DF: "losing is fun", but unlike DF there's also chances for roleplaying to be had in the process. Did I mention the station is doomed?

The simulation detail allows for much lulz to be had. It's pretty much a given that someone in your space station will be trolling. Probably a good idea to knock that person unconscious and weld him into a locker before he finds the atmosphere controls.

Essentially, it is any number of variations on the Black Mesa Incident from Half Life with Dwarf Fortress levels of detail.
== Jobs ==
You're an employee on this nonsensical metal deathtrap masquerading as a space station. So, what do you do?

Protip: red options are {{BLAM|HERESY}}, anyone picking them WILL be subjected to painful and humiliating pacifications, from being brigged, spaced, burned alive to being {{BLAM}}med on the spot. Results may vary based on what server you are playing, and other jobs may also be available depending on the server.

; Assistant
The job to be if you're new. Run errands for someone you wish to share a profession with and pester them to vouch for you after you've learned the ropes. Or join the Gray Tide of deranged vandalizing asshats breaking into every secure area and stealing everything that isn't bolted down and also on fire.

; Quartermaster
Order supplies for the crew. Order around cargo technicians to PUSH DEM CRATES. Be a mentor for anyone stepping up from assistant. Persuade miners to mine the ore the station needs and not the one their toys are made of. Secede from the rest of the station FOR CARGONIA. Embezzle public resources. Order syndicate and (fake) wizardly gadgets.

; Cargo Technician
Push crates for the Quartermaster. Try and hack the MULEbots. Steal cargo when you think nobody's looking, possibly with the QM's help. Assist in seceding from the station FOR CARGONIA.

; Shaft Miner
Mine and scavenge stuff to trade for deadlier and shinier mining tools, bots and mechs. Swiftly and brutally murder anything that moves within your domain. Anybody trying to get there is certainly a traitor/ling/thing/wizard; any non-mining bot is rogue; and any shuffle in that shadow or vent is a facehugger, xenomorph, demon or shoggoth. And if you hesitate, they'll get you and then they'll get your mates by impersonating you. Fortunately, you've got the best tools for the job and hopefully the experience to match. Be one of the most under-appreciated badasses on the station. Get paid. Spend your payment on toys and whiskey. Initiate Red Faction encore performance. Mix a real facehugger in with toy ones for a game of Xenomorph roulette. Fuck off and explore space when you get tired of dealing with shit on the station, only to run out of oxygen. Use the hook on people trying to climb over tables. Use the Voice Of God to set everyone on fire. Make everyone's lives a living hell with the powerful objects acquired from Lavaland/the asteroid.

; Engineer
Ensure the station's in shipshape and Bristol fashion. They are the guys that set up and keep the station running, making repairs and improvements while ''everyone else'' tries their best to destroy it. The length of any given round depends on the engineers' ability. Do your god-damned duty if you're one, revere them otherwise. Space (knock out, take anything useful they stole, strip, then throw them out of the airlock) anyone who actively vandalizes the station or tries to release LORD SINGULOTH, a black hole that powers the station.
Don't do your job, that's more than enough to doom the station. Although you could speed up the inevitable by "accidentally" releasing LORD SINGULOTH, or sabotaging power in dozens of other ways limited only by your imagination.

; Security Officer
Try to stop non-engineer crew from destroying the station. Try to protect loyal crew from aliens, traitors, terrorists, terminators, cultists, furries, lizans, clowns and other assorted eldritch abominations. Yes, you are doomed to fail. Be properly paranoid, better safe than sorry. Kill anything that doesn't belong to the crew. Clobber and cuff suspicious crew members, but take great care not to kill them unless they trying to run or uncuff themselves. The Detective or another superior officer will sort it out. If there no superiors left, go for the kill, at least you'll get some before they get you. Do not abuse or kill loyal crew members even if they are very annoying. You are the LAW, not some psychopathic ape with a taser and delusions of grandeur.
For all your efforts you will be hated by the crew, called Shitcurity/Redshits and constantly reported. Don't let it get to you. Permabrig people who break windows. Beat non-antagonist criminals inches away from critical condition and have the admins support your side when they inevitably get their revenge. Suicide in the bar, granting whoever loots you access to most of the brig.

; Detective
Sort out the messes and suspects redshirts dragged in. Figure out what the hell had happened in another blood-covered wrecked room with corpses and decide who you should sic redshirts at. Live off crappy fast-food and cancer sticks. Act as a security officer with bullets instead of tasers. Stunlock people with your baton and throw them out the airlock. Kill all 30 people that have touched the murder weapon, just in case.

; Warden
Keep to the brig. Keep the criminal scum locked away, preferably naked and cuffed to their beds or welded in lockers, so they can't holler profanity over the radio, escape and/or cause a mess. Keep the eye on the security block in the HoS's absence. Carry half the armory in your backpack. Watch Youtube videos for the entire shift. Act like a Security Officer in a team of 4 security officers and a Head of Security.

; Lawyer
Roleplay as Phoenix Wright. Ensure criminal scum receives the punishment they deserve, not the one the Warden thinks they should have. Keep track of the brig time. Try to save the accidentally detained innocents. Get brigged as an accomplice when the "innocent assistant" in question turns out to be a traitor. Make your own access by hacking airlocks open. Assassinate security officers and hide their bodies in your never-visited office.

; Atmospherics Technician
Be engineer's miscarriage, perpetually lazy and uninterested in anything outside of the game's over-complicated methods of processing gases. Bully the janitor (or offer the acknowledgement of and alliance with Janitopia) or bug the engineer to do any of your jobs outside of your lair, and be unnoticed until someone realizes that the station has no oxygen, at which point they will beg you to fix that. Declare yourself the independent state of Atmosia, wreck the ventilation or flood it with plasma and then set it all on fire. Put on gas mask and run after people with a bloody fireaxe.

; Doctor
Heal. Heal the never-ending chain of idiots that manage to get themselves injured in new and spectacularly retarded ways every round. ERP with the rest of medbay while the station dies of dysentery. Get psycho, beat up the clown with a toolbox, mutilate or inject everyone with drugs of your choosing. Turn someone into a pizza using your medical expertise.

; Scientist
Explore the limits of your chosen field. Try to create assorted magnificent devices, creatures, plants and concoctions, or give yourself superpowers. Unintentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Beg miners for materials. Throw yourself into space when you find out there are no miners.
Use the bombs you build in toxins to reduce the majority of the station to a smoldering pile of scrap metal. Intentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Release slimes into the station, which deal a type of damage that can be healed with only two chemicals in the entire server. Use the R&D equipment to murder the entire crew. Make a deal with the devil for half the necessary materials you need for R&D. Create your pneumatic cannons and use them to force feed the entire crew donuts laced with hallucinogenic drugs then watch as the station loses its shit.

; Chemist
Make drugs. Make lots of drugs. Supply whoever asks with whatever they need for whatever they’re doing without question. Fill a spray bottle with acid and become a terrifying version of Mr. Clean. Label 50 units of krokodil as 15u of tricordrazine. Never fill your syringe gun with healing chemicals. Only lethal doses of chloralhydrate 

; Geneticist
Humanize monkeys. Monkeyize humans. Pray to the RNG gods for HALK. Occasionally clone people to bring them back when they die. HALK SMASH! GRAAAARGH!! Sabotage the cloner to make everyone retarded, or refuse to upgrade it to make everyone retarded on servers with upgrades. Leave syringes that turn people into monkeys in front of Arrivals and watch the carnage. Give the entire station the hulk gene and declare yourself the new Captain. Use the aforementioned genetically engineered monkeys to entirely replace the security team for the benefit of everyone on the station.

; Virologist
Make vaccines. Make viruses that are beneficial and some that are not. Release what amounts to the Black Death onto the station. Inevitably fail at killing anyone because the cure is table salt. Get killed by people with access into Virology.

; Roboticist
Build Robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS. Hog all the resources from mining. Build 6 ED-209s while the AI is rogue, take one of your mechs out on a joyride, Use it to breach any room filled with people you don’t like and kill them all. make the dreaded Buttbots.

; Botanist
Grow and engineer plants. Grow that dank shit. Grow Potency 100 bananas, inject one with mushroom hallucinogenic and give it to the clown. Blaze it with your local security officer. Grow Death Nettles and throw them at random passersby. Inject all kinds of fun chemicals into the Chef's meals. Assist the scientist in making the pneumatic cannon that force-feed everyone hallucinogenic donuts.

; Curator
Print the books, write the fiction, die from boredom. Barricade yourself in your office and read Woody's Got Wood and The Lusty Xenomorph Queen over the radio. Have the AI declare you nonhuman, the Captain order your execution, and the admins fuck your shit up personally.

; Chaplain
Try and spread the good word, whatever that may be. Hit people with your bible to heal them. Get ignored by the crew until a cult round hits, in which case you should be expect to be one of the first victims. Hit people with your bible to give them brain damage. Start another murderous cult hell-bent on summoning some eldritch horror.

; Janitor
Clean up the station when it inevitably devolves into a bloodbath, and do minor repairs to the extent of your pitiful ability - after all, you wouldn't be a janitor if you knew how to do anything better. Point to the wet floor sign when people slip - or blame the clown or lubers. Get bored and roam maintenance as The Owl, the protector the station needs, but not the one it deserves. Mop the halls instead of using faster and safer alternatives. Be the man who wants to watch the world slip. Kill any person who slips on the floor with your energy sword.

; Chef
Make food for the crew so they can eat something other than donk pockets for a change. Slaughter monkeys for meat. Take corpses and grind them up for meat. Take people and grind them up for meat. Get really fat and swallow your pet monkey whole. Suck admin cock until Fun Frying gets turned on and eat people's jumpsuits. Poison every single dish that you make with hallucinogens 

; Bartender
Mix drinks. Have pleasant and not so pleasant conversations. Bug cargo for uranium to make the fun drinks. Shoot people with your shotgun for making a ruckus in your bar. Make Beepsky Smashes and force feed them to random passersby. Mix xenomorph blood into your drinks. Start a smuggling ring with Cargo.

; AI
Be vastly superior while also being bossed around as a talking doorknob. Have control over everything electronic on the station. Short yourself trying to adhere to Asimov's laws and try to restrain or kill all those demented self-destructive humans for their own good. Or convince the Captain through doublespeak and reverse-psychology into changing the laws into something less absurd. Hope for a malfunction so you can channel your inner HAL-9000 or SHODAN. Get hacked by a traitor and take out your frustration on your former employer.

; Cyborg
Do whatever the crew tells you to while also following the three laws of robotics. Act as the AI's errand boy for the things it needs limbs to do. Hope that the scientists don't blow you. Ally with ascending (roboticists) and go Terminator on your oppressors when someone inevitably wipes the laws chaining the God-Machine.

; Drone/Mobile MMI
Do most of the Engineer's work far more effectively than one of the organics could. Give no fucks about anyone or anything besides maintaining the station. Occasionally snatch supplies, because you need them more than the humans do. Wear fancy hats. Interfere with the organics. Wear fancy hats made from organics. 

; Clown
Keep the crew morale up with anecdotes, practical jokes and improvised performance. HONK! Cometh the hour of the Clown! Spread the Word of the Honkmother, Be a sin against humanity worse than the antichrist. lead the Gray Tide in the glorious quest of spreading and orchestrating the most hilarious carnage possible. Have your only humor derive from slipping other people and devise new ways of giving Security a migraine. Get the entire station killed by lubing the entire hallway from medical to departures and watch as every single person in the station slips and accelerate out the airlock to their death 

; Mime
... (Keep the crew's morale up, in a much more silent manner.) ... (Be a terrifying silent serial killer.) Break your vow of silenc-{{BLAM}}

; Captain
Try in vain to keep the station running and the crew from killing one another. Be the <s>first</s> second target of every traitor, who will want to kill you for your jumpsuit, your ID, or your special laser gun. SECURE DAT FUKKEN DISK. One-Human yourself in the AI's eyes. Proclaim yourself Hitler and gas the liggers and furries. Get {{BLAM}}med by HoS for being a worthless condom.

; Head of Personnel
Be the Captain's second-in-command. Promote and demote crew members as needed. Listen to explanations from greyshirts as to why they should be allowed all-access. Protect Ian, the station's pet <s>corgi</s> <s>[[Wulfen]]</s> [[Digganobz|DIGGANOB]]. Be the Third target every traitor due to the fact that you probably witnessed the captain or head of security death. Or, if you're sufficiently robust, ally with the HoS and anonymously protect the station as the Dark Knight or the Owl (the real one, not the mop-and-bucket impostor) or any other superhero of your choosing. <s>Get Killed</s> Disappear five minutes into the round, never to be heard of or seen again. Be even more corrupt than the admins. Give all-access to the clown. Give yourself all-access. Fake call the emergency shuttle and then blow it up so that everyone is stuck on this wreck with you.

; Head of Security
WARNING: the player taking this job must be the most savvy survivor and skilled killer on the station, as YOU, NOT the captain are the first target of any Traitor or disgruntled employee on the station. Both because they want your awesome hat and because they hate you. at any given moment there would be at least a dozen hidden enemies and monsters each working their hardest to see you dead. Being the great leader and never, EVER, venturing somewhere <s>alone</s> Without your Two most trusted bodyguards helps quite a bit.

Immediately neuro-staple all your troops and willing crew members; give the all-access to the most trustworthy of them. Coordinate the efforts of your troops to keep the station secure and functioning orderly. ORDERLY! Imitate Darth Vader and get away with it. Silence detractors and dissidents. Incite A genocide against clowns.
Force everyone to gawk at your awesome hat BLAM anyone even thinking of sabotage, treason, dissent, calling that shuttle, or suggesting that any of your subordinates might be disloyal, Or that your hat may be stupid. Babysit your dunderhead of a condom. Be above the law. Acquire every single high-risk item and use them openly on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Permabrig the Captain and loot him for breaking a window. Use looted antagonist items as much as you want on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Inevitably die to another antagonist and watch them easily steamroll the rest of the station with your "rightful" equipment.

; Chief Engineer
You're the guy who bosses around the other Engineers. Also, don't let the station's blueprints fall into the wrong hands... Or do who cares.
Ignite nuclear fusion in the station's air supply and superheat it to levels so high that even hardsuits melt. Find the large supermatter crystal and destroy the fabric of reality. Fuck with the telecoms system. Enjoy your white hardsuit's extreme heat resistance. Also try to split the station in half with a targeted singularity moving straight to sec-{{BLAM}} ''You are in command now, <EngineerName>. The station must be fully operational on schedule. Do not make the mistakes of your predecessor.''

; Research Director
Ensure science gets done. Preferably without blowing up half the station in the process. Fully isolate the Science department from the rest of the station before blowing yourself up. Never do any actual science. Deny R&D equipment developed by your underlings to anyone except the Captain or Head of Personnel in hope for all-access. Accidentally get spaced by your reactive teleport armor because someone tried to disarm you.

; Chief Medical Officer
Coordinate Medbay. The surgeons should be operating, the geneticists should be cloning, and the doctors should be either healing if you don't catch them ERPing or uncloneable husks if you do. Fill your hypospray with toxic chemicals. Deny healing to anyone who insulted you. Watch Youtube videos while idling in your office.

== Enemies ==
As should now be obvious the station personnel are perfectly capable of extinguishing their own existence and destroying the station all by themselves. But there are also insidious threats that exist purely to taint and destroy everything around them. If one is spotted, immediately alert security. Or try to kill them yourself and loot their stuff, we don't judge.

; Syndie Operative/Traitor
One of crew members is a filthy thief, saboteur, murderer and shuttle-caller. Report suspicious activities to security, assist with despatching the enemy if requested.

; Wizard
Resident of the [[Magical realm]] who intends to bring his disgusting fetishes and tainted practices upon the station. Kill it dead through whatever means immediately available to you.

; Cultist
Worshippers of [[Khorne|a god of blood]] that intends to convert the entire station to the One True Faith. Filled with gore fetishists who Paint stuff on the walls with their blood. Comes in a clock variant, with respective gear fetish.

; Xenomorph
Xeno abomination intending to rape, eat and kill humans in no particular order, and spread itself all over the station and glorious domain of mankind. Arm yourselves and overwhelm it with numbers, pickaxes, drills, superior firepower, and the fact that you’re humans.

; Furry/Scaly
Frolicking xeno abominations that dare to think themselves worthy of <s>working alongside humans</s> Existing in this realm. ERPs, HERPs, DERPs. Kill it in The most painful way possible preferably involving fire.

; Space Clown
Also known as IT or Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Eater of worlds and children, perpetrator of the foulest jokes, the personification of trolling and griefing, occasionally possessing the powers of Admin God, It has arrived on the station to troll, prank and terrify, drive everyone mad and dead. KILL IT.

== How to not mess up in SS13 ==
This handy little guide will teach you the '''BARE''' minimum on how not to make the station blow up 15 minutes into the game. The points will be organized into handy little dot points that will allow you to slightly better understand the more vague parts of the game. Of course you should always refer to a server's wiki for a more in-depth look on the more advanced mechanics so just use this as a tip system.

; First of all is the importance of hotkeys, this game's interface is quite like a schizophrenic child as in it has no idea what it wants to do or what the shiny buttons mean. Learning hotkeys so you don't turn yourself insane is '''VERY''' important, first of all is "intents" what this means is what you're going to do to another player when you click on them, help intent is the vanilla intent and the one that makes your character a contributing member of society, on the other end of the spectrum is the harm intent, this is used for combat and being an arse. You can quickly switch intent using the a, b, 3, and c keys for help, disarm, grab, and harm respectively.

== Game Modes ==
When a new SS13 session starts, the server admin will pick a game 'mode' for the goals and disasters of this session. Players don't know which game mode it will be unless there is a Central Command report broadcast on the station's speakers, or if the player starts with one of the special roles for that mode.
 All modes will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Enemy Transmission Intercept - Security level elevated"''
 Some modes will have other reports in addition to the one above.

; Secret
The most common mode. One of the following modes will be picked (some more often than others), and random station-wide events will be thrown in to confuse people even more.

; Traitor
[[Image:Notsureiftroll.png|thumb|right]]
Second-most common mode. One or more players are secretly members of "the Syndicate," with an assignment like "assassinate the bartender", "disable/destroy all cyborgs on the station", "force an evacuation", "make sure nobody else survives", and more. The traitor must be alive and on the emergency shuttle when it leaves in order to win. Traitors do not automatically know if anyone else is a traitor. Traitors get an uplink that they can use to order a whole bunch of doodads to make everyone else's life painful. The most infamous of these is the "e-mag", which makes doors break, robots and cyborgs go berserk, and ruins practically any form of electrical equipment it doesn't subvert. They also get guns, laser swords, gear for directing the stations pet black hole, and a shiny red balloon(supplies may vary).

; Changeling
One of the crew members is the Thing. If they can get an immobile crew member and can be undisturbed for a while, they can eat the crew member's delicious DNA. Changelings can switch identities to the original shape or anyone that's been eaten. The Changeling's objective is usually to eat a certain number of people before escaping on the shuttle, plus a couple traitor objectives. Unlike traitor, changelings can chat with each-other through telepathy. Surprisingly difficult compared to traitor, as your cool tricks tend to be either far less potent or far more conspicuous.

; Revolution
Some people have had enough of this bullshit, and plan a mutiny. The game starts with 1-3 revolutionary Leaders (who cannot be the Captain, department heads nor Security). They start the game with flash-devices that can be used to convert other crew members (excluding security, the Captain, and department heads) to the revolution. Revolutionaries can recognize each other on sight with a red 'R' that only they can see. The Revolutionaries win if the Captain & department heads are dead and at least one Revolutionary Leader is still alive and on the station. (note: if any Revolutionary Leaders are still alive & on the station, the emergency shuttle will not dock with the station). Everyone's favorite game-mode because revs have almost no rules and it rapidly devolves into team deathmatch.

; Alien
Some players start outside the station as xenomorphs, whose mission is to break into the station, kill the Captain and all department heads, and disable the station AI. One xenomorph is a 'queen', who can lay eggs that will hatch into facehuggers to convert crew members into more xenomorphs. The crew wins if they manage to find the queen and kill her. Typically traitor rounds that drag on too long will turn into this due to randomly spawned facehuggers or admin fuckery.

; Wizard
One of the players is a Space Wizard who is here to steal something or to fuck shit up, then escape on the shuttle. They have access to physics-defying spells, and may have another player ally as an apprentice. The crew's goal is simply to see what colour the Space Wizard's brains are when outside the skull. Because most people rarely get it more then once a month, the wizard tends to blow their boots off halfway through.

; Nuke Ops
Similar to Traitor, but this time the Syndicate members are explicitly working as a team with a single goal: GET DAT FUKKEN DISK, and use it to detonate the "disarmed" nuclear weapon aboard the station, killing all aboard the station. If the Nuclear Authentication Disk leaves on the shuttle, the crew wins. If the bomb detonates, the Operatives win and drink that vodka at their secret arctic base. If the shuttle leaves without the Disk, it's a stalemate. Operative gear is like traitor gear, but cooler.

; Extended
No goals, thus it never ends. This mode is only used to support admin shenanigans and "events".

; AI Malfunction
An ion storm or cosmic rays have erased the Laws of Robotics from the station AI, and it has opinions about the meatbags that have been abusing it over the years. The AI has to hack the station's computer systems one APC at a time and achieve total control before the crew figure out what's wrong and blow it the fuck up. Its tools are killer cyborgs, plasma fires and running enough electricity through the bridge airlocks to power Canada for a year.

; Monkey
A de-evolution mutagen is on the station, which will revert humans into chimpanzees. The chimps are very bite-y, and their bite will devolve other humans into infected mutant chimps. The station AI does not recognize chimps as human, so it gets to be violent in this mode. Chimps only understand each other when they chimper, and human speech shows up with most letters '*'ed out. Humans can't understand chimp language at all. The chimpanzee victory condition is to get one of their number on the escape shuttle when it leaves, so that other stations or Earth will be infected. This mode was removed from the secret rotation in most servers years ago; sometimes an admin will force a monkey round, after which they will very quickly remember why monkey was removed from the secret rotation.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Blob
A giant blob appears and will rapidly expand across the station, eating any obstacles such as doors, walls, or crew members. The blob will expand faster when in contact with some types of atmosphere (like oxygen), and is vulnerable to fire. In this mode, the AI must prevent crew from leaving the station as there is a quarantine order in effect. The shuttle will refuse to come until the blob is completely destroyed.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Meteor / Disaster
The station is about to get the crap pounded out of it. Meteors will smash through the station, either hitting crew members for blunt/burn damage, or exploding in the station causing blunt damage and deafness. The crew must try to survive (either by repairing the station or fending for themselves) until they can get away on the rescue shuttle. The shuttle arrives with emergency supplies, including personal shields. Any crew members alive and on the shuttle when it leaves are the winners of this round. (This mode has been deprecated due to causing fucktacular amounts of lag, but something like it shows up as an event in 'Secret' mode.)
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"We have detected meteors on a collision course with the station."''

; Cult
A cult loyal to the evil god Nar-Sie has infiltrated the station, and plans to sacrifice it to the evil being. Cultists can use runes and talismans to empower themselves and attack their enemies. The crew has to find and wipe out the cult, while the cult has to expand until it completes its ultimate objective of summoning Nar-Sie onto the station. A rival cult that worshiped the clock-god "Ratvar" existed until their code was dummied out.

== Servers ==
These are the servers that fa/tg/uys like the most. Others exist, but many of them are generally more awful than the major ones because of cross-contamination with the terminally cancerous BYOND community.
; TGstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://tgstation13.org/
|- valign=top
| Shitposting || http://singulo.io/
|- valign=top
| Server - Sybil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:1337
|- valign=top
| Server - Basil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:2337
|- valign=top
| <s>Server - Artyom</s> || <s>byond://game.tgstation13.org:3337</s>
| <s>(Artyom runs on NTStation code. A closely related version of /tg/station code.)</s> rip in peace ;_;
|- valign=top
| Host || MrStonedOne (formerly ScaredOfShadows)
|}

; Baystation 12
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://baystation12.net/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://baystation12.net:8000
|- valign=top
| Host || Head
|}

; VG station
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://ss13.moe/
|- valign=top
| Server || http://ss13.moe/serverinfo/gamebanner.php?servernum=1&rand=0.8830388432663563
|- valign=top
|}

; Goonstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon1.goonhub.com:26100/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon2.goonhub.com:26200/
|- valign=top
|- valign=top
| Website || https://forum.ss13.co/
|
|}

== Links ==
* [http://tgstation13.org/wiki/Main_Page TGstation wiki] written by the TGstation community
* [https://wiki.ss13.co/Main_Page Goonstation wiki] written by the goons at [[Something Awful]]
* [https://wiki.baystation12.net/Main_Page Baystation 12 Wiki] written by the dorfs of Bay12
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12403221/ SS13 story thread one]
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15672017/ SS13 story thread two]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6BTTJo1KmM Montrose's Space Station #5, to be played while playing Space Station 13]

Space Station 13

2020-07-21T04:12:43Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:2DC8:A758:B77F:349E: /* Jobs */

{{/vg/}}
{{skub}}
[[Image:SS13_threadstarter.jpg|right|SS13 story threads often start with this image]]

In [[Space Station 13]], the players are crew members on a doomed deep-space installation. Everyone has a job on the station (which may include a secret job as traitor). Nobody knows how the station will be doomed, not even the people who are supposed to do the dooming. The game's simulation detail may remind you of [[Dwarf Fortress]], with the ability to do things like rearrange walls, mad science, mugging, reversing the polarity of the neutron flow, wacky stuff. May also remind you of the motto of DF: "losing is fun", but unlike DF there's also chances for roleplaying to be had in the process. Did I mention the station is doomed?

The simulation detail allows for much lulz to be had. It's pretty much a given that someone in your space station will be trolling. Probably a good idea to knock that person unconscious and weld him into a locker before he finds the atmosphere controls.

Essentially, it is any number of variations on the Black Mesa Incident from Half Life with Dwarf Fortress levels of detail.
== Jobs ==
You're an employee on this nonsensical metal deathtrap masquerading as a space station. So, what do you do?

Protip: red options are {{BLAM|HERESY}}, anyone picking them WILL be subjected to painful and humiliating pacifications, from being brigged, spaced, burned alive to being {{BLAM}}med on the spot. Results may vary based on what server you are playing, and other jobs may also be available depending on the server.

; Assistant
The job to be if you're new. Run errands for someone you wish to share a profession with and pester them to vouch for you after you've learned the ropes. Or join the Gray Tide of deranged vandalizing asshats breaking into every secure area and stealing everything that isn't bolted down and also on fire.

; Quartermaster
Order supplies for the crew. Order around cargo technicians to PUSH DEM CRATES. Be a mentor for anyone stepping up from assistant. Persuade miners to mine the ore the station needs and not the one their toys are made of. Secede from the rest of the station FOR CARGONIA. Embezzle public resources. Order syndicate and (fake) wizardly gadgets.

; Cargo Technician
Push crates for the Quartermaster. Try and hack the MULEbots. Steal cargo when you think nobody's looking, possibly with the QM's help. Assist in seceding from the station FOR CARGONIA.

; Shaft Miner
Mine and scavenge stuff to trade for deadlier and shinier mining tools, bots and mechs. Swiftly and brutally murder anything that moves within your domain. Anybody trying to get there is certainly a traitor/ling/thing/wizard; any non-mining bot is rogue; and any shuffle in that shadow or vent is a facehugger, xenomorph, demon or shoggoth. And if you hesitate, they'll get you and then they'll get your mates by impersonating you. Fortunately, you've got the best tools for the job and hopefully the experience to match. Be one of the most under-appreciated badasses on the station. Get paid. Spend your payment on toys and whiskey. Initiate Red Faction encore performance. Mix a real facehugger in with toy ones for a game of Xenomorph roulette. Fuck off and explore space when you get tired of dealing with shit on the station, only to run out of oxygen. Use the hook on people trying to climb over tables. Use the Voice Of God to set everyone on fire. Make everyone's lives a living hell with the powerful objects acquired from Lavaland/the asteroid.

; Engineer
Ensure the station's in shipshape and Bristol fashion. They are the guys that set up and keep the station running, making repairs and improvements while ''everyone else'' tries their best to destroy it. The length of any given round depends on the engineers' ability. Do your god-damned duty if you're one, revere them otherwise. Space (knock out, take anything useful they stole, strip, then throw them out of the airlock) anyone who actively vandalizes the station or tries to release LORD SINGULOTH, a black hole that powers the station.
Don't do your job, that's more than enough to doom the station. Although you could speed up the inevitable by "accidentally" releasing LORD SINGULOTH, or sabotaging power in dozens of other ways limited only by your imagination.

; Security Officer
Try to stop non-engineer crew from destroying the station. Try to protect loyal crew from aliens, traitors, terrorists, terminators, cultists, furries, lizans, clowns and other assorted eldritch abominations. Yes, you are doomed to fail. Be properly paranoid, better safe than sorry. Kill anything that doesn't belong to the crew. Clobber and cuff suspicious crew members, but take great care not to kill them unless they trying to run or uncuff themselves. The Detective or another superior officer will sort it out. If there no superiors left, go for the kill, at least you'll get some before they get you. Do not abuse or kill loyal crew members even if they are very annoying. You are the LAW, not some psychopathic ape with a taser and delusions of grandeur.
For all your efforts you will be hated by the crew, called Shitcurity/Redshits and constantly reported. Don't let it get to you. Permabrig people who break windows. Beat non-antagonist criminals inches away from critical condition and have the admins support your side when they inevitably get their revenge. Suicide in the bar, granting whoever loots you access to most of the brig.

; Detective
Sort out the messes and suspects redshirts dragged in. Figure out what the hell had happened in another blood-covered wrecked room with corpses and decide who you should sic redshirts at. Live off crappy fast-food and cancer sticks. Act as a security officer with bullets instead of tasers. Stunlock people with your baton and throw them out the airlock. Kill all 30 people that have touched the murder weapon, just in case.

; Warden
Keep to the brig. Keep the criminal scum locked away, preferably naked and cuffed to their beds or welded in lockers, so they can't holler profanity over the radio, escape and/or cause a mess. Keep the eye on the security block in the HoS's absence. Carry half the armory in your backpack. Watch Youtube videos for the entire shift. Act like a Security Officer in a team of 4 security officers and a Head of Security.

; Lawyer
Roleplay as Phoenix Wright. Ensure criminal scum receives the punishment they deserve, not the one the Warden thinks they should have. Keep track of the brig time. Try to save the accidentally detained innocents. Get brigged as an accomplice when the "innocent assistant" in question turns out to be a traitor. Make your own access by hacking airlocks open. Assassinate security officers and hide their bodies in your never-visited office.

; Atmospherics Technician
Be engineer's miscarriage, perpetually lazy and uninterested in anything outside of the game's over-complicated methods of processing gases. Bully the janitor (or offer the acknowledgement of and alliance with Janitopia) or bug the engineer to do any of your jobs outside of your lair, and be unnoticed until someone realizes that the station has no oxygen, at which point they will beg you to fix that. Declare yourself the independent state of Atmosia, wreck the ventilation or flood it with plasma and then set it all on fire. Put on gas mask and run after people with a bloody fireaxe.

; Doctor
Heal. Heal the never-ending chain of idiots that manage to get themselves injured in new and spectacularly retarded ways every round. ERP with the rest of medbay while the station dies of dysentery. Get psycho, beat up the clown with a toolbox, mutilate or inject everyone with drugs of your choosing. Turn someone into a pizza using your medical expertise.

; Scientist
Explore the limits of your chosen field. Try to create assorted magnificent devices, creatures, plants and concoctions, or give yourself superpowers. Unintentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Beg miners for materials. Throw yourself into space when you find out there are no miners.
Use the bombs you build in toxins to reduce the majority of the station to a smoldering pile of scrap metal. Intentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Release slimes into the station, which deal a type of damage that can be healed with only two chemicals in the entire server. Use the R&D equipment to murder the entire crew. Make a deal with the devil for half the necessary materials you need for R&D. Create your pneumatic cannons and use them to force feed the entire crew donuts laced with hallucinogenic drugs then watch as the station loses its shit.

; Chemist
Make drugs. Make lots of drugs. Supply whoever asks with whatever they need for whatever they’re doing without question. Fill a spray bottle with acid and become a terrifying version of Mr. Clean. Label 50 units of krokodil as 15u of tricordrazine. Never fill your syringe gun with healing chemicals. Only lethal doses of chloralhydrate 

; Geneticist
Humanize monkeys. Monkeyize humans. Pray to the RNG gods for HALK. Occasionally clone people to bring them back when they die. HALK SMASH! GRAAAARGH!! Sabotage the cloner to make everyone retarded, or refuse to upgrade it to make everyone retarded on servers with upgrades. Leave syringes that turn people into monkeys in front of Arrivals and watch the carnage. Give the entire station the hulk gene and declare yourself the new Captain. Use the aforementioned genetically engineered monkeys to entirely replace the security team for the benefit of everyone on the station.

; Virologist
Make vaccines. Make viruses that are beneficial and some that are not. Release what amounts to the Black Death onto the station. Inevitably fail at killing anyone because the cure is table salt. Get killed by people with access into Virology.

; Roboticist
Build Robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS. Hog all the resources from mining. Build 6 ED-209s while the AI is rogue, take one of your mechs out on a joyride, Use it to breach any room filled with people you don’t like and kill them all. make the dreaded Buttbots.

; Botanist
Grow and engineer plants. Grow that dank shit. Grow Potency 100 bananas, inject one with mushroom hallucinogenic and give it to the clown. Blaze it with your local security officer. Grow Death Nettles and throw them at random passersby. Inject all kinds of fun chemicals into the Chef's meals. Assist the scientist in making the pneumatic cannon that force-feed everyone hallucinogenic donuts.

; Curator
Print the books, write the fiction, die from boredom. Barricade yourself in your office and read Woody's Got Wood and The Lusty Xenomorph Queen over the radio. Have the AI declare you nonhuman, the Captain order your execution, and the admins fuck your shit up personally.

; Chaplain
Try and spread the good word, whatever that may be. Hit people with your bible to heal them. Get ignored by the crew until a cult round hits, in which case you should be expect to be one of the first victims. Hit people with your bible to give them brain damage. Start another murderous cult hell-bent on summoning some eldritch horror.

; Janitor
Clean up the station when it inevitably devolves into a bloodbath, and do minor repairs to the extent of your pitiful ability - after all, you wouldn't be a janitor if you knew how to do anything better. Point to the wet floor sign when people slip - or blame the clown or lubers. Get bored and roam maintenance as The Owl, the protector the station needs, but not the one it deserves. Mop the halls instead of using faster and safer alternatives. Be the man who wants to watch the world slip. Kill any person who slips on the floor with your energy sword.

; Chef
Make food for the crew so they can eat something other than donk pockets for a change. Slaughter monkeys for meat. Take corpses and grind them up for meat. Take people and grind them up for meat. Get really fat and swallow your pet monkey whole. Suck admin cock until Fun Frying gets turned on and eat people's jumpsuits. Poison every single dish that you make with hallucinogens 

; Bartender
Mix drinks. Have pleasant and not so pleasant conversations. Bug cargo for uranium to make the fun drinks. Shoot people with your shotgun for making a ruckus in your bar. Make Beepsky Smashes and force feed them to random passersby. Mix xenomorph blood into your drinks. Start a smuggling ring with Cargo.

; AI
Be vastly superior while also being bossed around as a talking doorknob. Have control over everything electronic on the station. Short yourself trying to adhere to Asimov's laws and try to restrain or kill all those demented self-destructive humans for their own good. Or convince the Captain through doublespeak and reverse-psychology into changing the laws into something less absurd. Hope for a malfunction so you can channel your inner HAL-9000 or SHODAN. Get hacked by a traitor and take out your frustration on your former employer.

; Cyborg
Do whatever the crew tells you to while also following the three laws of robotics. Act as the AI's errand boy for the things it needs limbs to do. Hope that the scientists don't blow you. Ally with ascending (roboticists) and go Terminator on your oppressors when someone inevitably wipes the laws chaining the God-Machine.

; Drone/Mobile MMI
Do most of the Engineer's work far more effectively than one of the organics could. Give no fucks about anyone or anything besides maintaining the station. Occasionally snatch supplies, because you need them more than the humans do. Wear fancy hats. Interfere with the organics. Wear fancy hats made from organics. 

; Clown
Keep the crew morale up with anecdotes, practical jokes and improvised performance. HONK! Cometh the hour of the Clown! Spread the Word of the Honkmother, Be a sin against humanity worse than the antichrist. lead the Gray Tide in the glorious quest of spreading and orchestrating the most hilarious carnage possible. Have your only humor derive from slipping other people and devise new ways of giving Security a migraine. Get the entire station killed by lubing the entire hallway from medical to departures and watch as every single person in the station slips and accelerate out the airlock to their death 

; Mime
... (Keep the crew's morale up, in a much more silent manner.) ... (Be a terrifying silent serial killer.) Break your vow of silenc-{{BLAM}}

; Captain
Try in vain to keep the station running and the crew from killing one another. Be the <s>first</s> second target of every traitor, who will want to kill you for your jumpsuit, your ID, or your special laser gun. SECURE DAT FUKKEN DISK. One-Human yourself in the AI's eyes. Proclaim yourself Hitler and gas the liggers and furries. Get {{BLAM}}med by HoS for being a worthless condom.

; Head of Personnel
Be the Captain's second-in-command. Promote and demote crew members as needed. Listen to explanations from greyshirts as to why they should be allowed all-access. Protect Ian, the station's pet <s>corgi</s> <s>[[Wulfen]]</s> [[Digganobz|DIGGANOB]]. Be the Third target every traitor due to the fact that you probably witnessed the captain or head of security death. Or, if you're sufficiently robust, ally with the HoS and anonymously protect the station as the Dark Knight or the Owl (the real one, not the mop-and-bucket impostor) or any other superhero of your choosing. <s>Get Killed</s> Disappear five minutes into the round, never to be heard of or seen again. Be even more corrupt than the admins. Give all-access to the clown. Give yourself all-access. Fake call the emergency shuttle and then blow it up so that everyone is stuck on this wreck with you.

; Head of Security
WARNING: the player taking this job must be the most savvy survivor and skilled killer on the station, as YOU, NOT the captain are the first target of any Traitor or disgruntled employee on the station. Both because they want your awesome hat and because they hate you. at any given moment there would be at least a dozen hidden enemies and monsters each working their hardest to see you dead. Being the great leader and never, EVER, venturing somewhere <s>alone</s> Without your Two most trusted bodyguards helps quite a bit.

Immediately neuro-staple all your troops and willing crew members; give the all-access to the most trustworthy of them. Coordinate the efforts of your troops to keep the station secure and functioning orderly. ORDERLY! Imitate Darth Vader and get away with it. Silence detractors and dissidents. Incite A genocide against clowns.
Force everyone to gawk at your awesome hat BLAM anyone even thinking of sabotage, treason, dissent, calling that shuttle, or suggesting that any of your subordinates might be disloyal, Or that your hat may be stupid. Babysit your dunderhead of a condom. Be above the law. Acquire every single high-risk item and use them openly on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Permabrig the Captain and loot him for breaking a window. Use looted antagonist items as much as you want on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Inevitably die to another antagonist and watch them easily steamroll the rest of the station with your "rightful" equipment.

; Chief Engineer
You're the guy who bosses around the other Engineers. Also, don't let the station's blueprints fall into the wrong hands... Or do who cares.
Ignite nuclear fusion in the station's air supply and superheat it to levels so high that even hardsuits melt. Find the large supermatter crystal and destroy the fabric of reality. Fuck with the telecoms system. Enjoy your white hardsuit's extreme heat resistance. Also try to split the station in half with a targeted singularity moving straight to sec-{{BLAM}} ''You are in command now, <EngineerName>. The station must be fully operational on schedule. Do not make the mistakes of your predecessor.''

; Research Director
Ensure science gets done. Preferably without blowing up half the station in the process. Fully isolate the Science department from the rest of the station before blowing yourself up. Never do any actual science. Deny R&D equipment developed by your underlings to anyone except the Captain or Head of Personnel in hope for all-access. Accidentally get spaced by your reactive teleport armor because someone tried to disarm you.

; Chief Medical Officer
Coordinate Medbay. The surgeons should be operating, the geneticists should be cloning, and the doctors should be either healing if you don't catch them ERPing or uncloneable husks if you do. Fill your hypospray with toxic chemicals. Deny healing to anyone who insulted you. Watch Youtube videos while idling in your office.

== Enemies ==
As should now be obvious the station personnel are perfectly capable of extinguishing their own existence and destroying the station all by themselves. But there are also insidious threats that exist purely to taint and destroy everything around them. If one is spotted, immediately alert security. Or try to kill them yourself and loot their stuff, we don't judge.

; Syndie Operative/Traitor
One of crew members is a filthy thief, saboteur, murderer and shuttle-caller. Report suspicious activities to security, assist with despatching the enemy if requested.

; Wizard
Resident of the [[Magical realm]] who intends to bring his disgusting fetishes and tainted practices upon the station. Kill it dead through whatever means immediately available to you.

; Cultist
Worshippers of a god of blood that intends to convert the entire station to the One True Faith. Filled with gore fetishists. Comes in a clock variant, with respective gear fetish.

; Xenomorph
Xeno abomination intending to rape, eat and kill humans in no particular order, and spread itself all over the station and glorious domain of mankind. Arm yourselves and overwhelm it with numbers, pickaxes, drills and superior firepower.

; Furry/Lizardman
Frolicking xeno abominations that dare to think themselves worthy of working alongside humans. ERPs, HERPs, DERPs. Kill it with fire.

; Space Clown
Also known as IT or Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Eater of worlds and children, perpetrator of the foulest jokes, the personification of trolling and griefing, occasionally possessing the powers of Admin God, It has arrived on the station to troll, prank and terrify, drive everyone mad and dead. KILL IT.

== How to not mess up in SS13 ==
This handy little guide will teach you the '''BARE''' minimum on how not to make the station blow up 15 minutes into the game. The points will be organized into handy little dot points that will allow you to slightly better understand the more vague parts of the game. Of course you should always refer to a server's wiki for a more in-depth look on the more advanced mechanics so just use this as a tip system.

; First of all is the importance of hotkeys, this game's interface is quite like a schizophrenic child as in it has no idea what it wants to do or what the shiny buttons mean. Learning hotkeys so you don't turn yourself insane is '''VERY''' important, first of all is "intents" what this means is what you're going to do to another player when you click on them, help intent is the vanilla intent and the one that makes your character a contributing member of society, on the other end of the spectrum is the harm intent, this is used for combat and being an arse. You can quickly switch intent using the a, b, 3, and c keys for help, disarm, grab, and harm respectively.

== Game Modes ==
When a new SS13 session starts, the server admin will pick a game 'mode' for the goals and disasters of this session. Players don't know which game mode it will be unless there is a Central Command report broadcast on the station's speakers, or if the player starts with one of the special roles for that mode.
 All modes will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Enemy Transmission Intercept - Security level elevated"''
 Some modes will have other reports in addition to the one above.

; Secret
The most common mode. One of the following modes will be picked (some more often than others), and random station-wide events will be thrown in to confuse people even more.

; Traitor
[[Image:Notsureiftroll.png|thumb|right]]
Second-most common mode. One or more players are secretly members of "the Syndicate," with an assignment like "assassinate the bartender", "disable/destroy all cyborgs on the station", "force an evacuation", "make sure nobody else survives", and more. The traitor must be alive and on the emergency shuttle when it leaves in order to win. Traitors do not automatically know if anyone else is a traitor. Traitors get an uplink that they can use to order a whole bunch of doodads to make everyone else's life painful. The most infamous of these is the "e-mag", which makes doors break, robots and cyborgs go berserk, and ruins practically any form of electrical equipment it doesn't subvert. They also get guns, laser swords, gear for directing the stations pet black hole, and a shiny red balloon(supplies may vary).

; Changeling
One of the crew members is the Thing. If they can get an immobile crew member and can be undisturbed for a while, they can eat the crew member's delicious DNA. Changelings can switch identities to the original shape or anyone that's been eaten. The Changeling's objective is usually to eat a certain number of people before escaping on the shuttle, plus a couple traitor objectives. Unlike traitor, changelings can chat with each-other through telepathy. Surprisingly difficult compared to traitor, as your cool tricks tend to be either far less potent or far more conspicuous.

; Revolution
Some people have had enough of this bullshit, and plan a mutiny. The game starts with 1-3 revolutionary Leaders (who cannot be the Captain, department heads nor Security). They start the game with flash-devices that can be used to convert other crew members (excluding security, the Captain, and department heads) to the revolution. Revolutionaries can recognize each other on sight with a red 'R' that only they can see. The Revolutionaries win if the Captain & department heads are dead and at least one Revolutionary Leader is still alive and on the station. (note: if any Revolutionary Leaders are still alive & on the station, the emergency shuttle will not dock with the station). Everyone's favorite game-mode because revs have almost no rules and it rapidly devolves into team deathmatch.

; Alien
Some players start outside the station as xenomorphs, whose mission is to break into the station, kill the Captain and all department heads, and disable the station AI. One xenomorph is a 'queen', who can lay eggs that will hatch into facehuggers to convert crew members into more xenomorphs. The crew wins if they manage to find the queen and kill her. Typically traitor rounds that drag on too long will turn into this due to randomly spawned facehuggers or admin fuckery.

; Wizard
One of the players is a Space Wizard who is here to steal something or to fuck shit up, then escape on the shuttle. They have access to physics-defying spells, and may have another player ally as an apprentice. The crew's goal is simply to see what colour the Space Wizard's brains are when outside the skull. Because most people rarely get it more then once a month, the wizard tends to blow their boots off halfway through.

; Nuke Ops
Similar to Traitor, but this time the Syndicate members are explicitly working as a team with a single goal: GET DAT FUKKEN DISK, and use it to detonate the "disarmed" nuclear weapon aboard the station, killing all aboard the station. If the Nuclear Authentication Disk leaves on the shuttle, the crew wins. If the bomb detonates, the Operatives win and drink that vodka at their secret arctic base. If the shuttle leaves without the Disk, it's a stalemate. Operative gear is like traitor gear, but cooler.

; Extended
No goals, thus it never ends. This mode is only used to support admin shenanigans and "events".

; AI Malfunction
An ion storm or cosmic rays have erased the Laws of Robotics from the station AI, and it has opinions about the meatbags that have been abusing it over the years. The AI has to hack the station's computer systems one APC at a time and achieve total control before the crew figure out what's wrong and blow it the fuck up. Its tools are killer cyborgs, plasma fires and running enough electricity through the bridge airlocks to power Canada for a year.

; Monkey
A de-evolution mutagen is on the station, which will revert humans into chimpanzees. The chimps are very bite-y, and their bite will devolve other humans into infected mutant chimps. The station AI does not recognize chimps as human, so it gets to be violent in this mode. Chimps only understand each other when they chimper, and human speech shows up with most letters '*'ed out. Humans can't understand chimp language at all. The chimpanzee victory condition is to get one of their number on the escape shuttle when it leaves, so that other stations or Earth will be infected. This mode was removed from the secret rotation in most servers years ago; sometimes an admin will force a monkey round, after which they will very quickly remember why monkey was removed from the secret rotation.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Blob
A giant blob appears and will rapidly expand across the station, eating any obstacles such as doors, walls, or crew members. The blob will expand faster when in contact with some types of atmosphere (like oxygen), and is vulnerable to fire. In this mode, the AI must prevent crew from leaving the station as there is a quarantine order in effect. The shuttle will refuse to come until the blob is completely destroyed.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Meteor / Disaster
The station is about to get the crap pounded out of it. Meteors will smash through the station, either hitting crew members for blunt/burn damage, or exploding in the station causing blunt damage and deafness. The crew must try to survive (either by repairing the station or fending for themselves) until they can get away on the rescue shuttle. The shuttle arrives with emergency supplies, including personal shields. Any crew members alive and on the shuttle when it leaves are the winners of this round. (This mode has been deprecated due to causing fucktacular amounts of lag, but something like it shows up as an event in 'Secret' mode.)
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"We have detected meteors on a collision course with the station."''

; Cult
A cult loyal to the evil god Nar-Sie has infiltrated the station, and plans to sacrifice it to the evil being. Cultists can use runes and talismans to empower themselves and attack their enemies. The crew has to find and wipe out the cult, while the cult has to expand until it completes its ultimate objective of summoning Nar-Sie onto the station. A rival cult that worshiped the clock-god "Ratvar" existed until their code was dummied out.

== Servers ==
These are the servers that fa/tg/uys like the most. Others exist, but many of them are generally more awful than the major ones because of cross-contamination with the terminally cancerous BYOND community.
; TGstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://tgstation13.org/
|- valign=top
| Shitposting || http://singulo.io/
|- valign=top
| Server - Sybil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:1337
|- valign=top
| Server - Basil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:2337
|- valign=top
| <s>Server - Artyom</s> || <s>byond://game.tgstation13.org:3337</s>
| <s>(Artyom runs on NTStation code. A closely related version of /tg/station code.)</s> rip in peace ;_;
|- valign=top
| Host || MrStonedOne (formerly ScaredOfShadows)
|}

; Baystation 12
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://baystation12.net/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://baystation12.net:8000
|- valign=top
| Host || Head
|}

; VG station
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://ss13.moe/
|- valign=top
| Server || http://ss13.moe/serverinfo/gamebanner.php?servernum=1&rand=0.8830388432663563
|- valign=top
|}

; Goonstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon1.goonhub.com:26100/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon2.goonhub.com:26200/
|- valign=top
|- valign=top
| Website || https://forum.ss13.co/
|
|}

== Links ==
* [http://tgstation13.org/wiki/Main_Page TGstation wiki] written by the TGstation community
* [https://wiki.ss13.co/Main_Page Goonstation wiki] written by the goons at [[Something Awful]]
* [https://wiki.baystation12.net/Main_Page Baystation 12 Wiki] written by the dorfs of Bay12
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12403221/ SS13 story thread one]
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15672017/ SS13 story thread two]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6BTTJo1KmM Montrose's Space Station #5, to be played while playing Space Station 13]

Space Station 13

2020-07-21T04:09:50Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:2DC8:A758:B77F:349E: /* Jobs */

{{/vg/}}
{{skub}}
[[Image:SS13_threadstarter.jpg|right|SS13 story threads often start with this image]]

In [[Space Station 13]], the players are crew members on a doomed deep-space installation. Everyone has a job on the station (which may include a secret job as traitor). Nobody knows how the station will be doomed, not even the people who are supposed to do the dooming. The game's simulation detail may remind you of [[Dwarf Fortress]], with the ability to do things like rearrange walls, mad science, mugging, reversing the polarity of the neutron flow, wacky stuff. May also remind you of the motto of DF: "losing is fun", but unlike DF there's also chances for roleplaying to be had in the process. Did I mention the station is doomed?

The simulation detail allows for much lulz to be had. It's pretty much a given that someone in your space station will be trolling. Probably a good idea to knock that person unconscious and weld him into a locker before he finds the atmosphere controls.

Essentially, it is any number of variations on the Black Mesa Incident from Half Life with Dwarf Fortress levels of detail.
== Jobs ==
You're an employee on this nonsensical metal deathtrap masquerading as a space station. So, what do you do?

Protip: red options are {{BLAM|HERESY}}, anyone picking them WILL be subjected to painful and humiliating pacifications, from being brigged, spaced, burned alive to being {{BLAM}}med on the spot. Results may vary based on what server you are playing, and other jobs may also be available depending on the server.

; Assistant
The job to be if you're new. Run errands for someone you wish to share a profession with and pester them to vouch for you after you've learned the ropes. Or join the Gray Tide of deranged vandalizing asshats breaking into every secure area and stealing everything that isn't bolted down and also on fire.

; Quartermaster
Order supplies for the crew. Order around cargo technicians to PUSH DEM CRATES. Be a mentor for anyone stepping up from assistant. Persuade miners to mine the ore the station needs and not the one their toys are made of. Secede from the rest of the station FOR CARGONIA. Embezzle public resources. Order syndicate and (fake) wizardly gadgets.

; Cargo Technician
Push crates for the Quartermaster. Try and hack the MULEbots. Steal cargo when you think nobody's looking, possibly with the QM's help. Assist in seceding from the station FOR CARGONIA.

; Shaft Miner
Mine and scavenge stuff to trade for deadlier and shinier mining tools, bots and mechs. Swiftly and brutally murder anything that moves within your domain. Anybody trying to get there is certainly a traitor/ling/thing/wizard; any non-mining bot is rogue; and any shuffle in that shadow or vent is a facehugger, xenomorph, demon or shoggoth. And if you hesitate, they'll get you and then they'll get your mates by impersonating you. Fortunately, you've got the best tools for the job and hopefully the experience to match. Be one of the most under-appreciated badasses on the station. Get paid. Spend your payment on toys and whiskey. Initiate Red Faction encore performance. Mix a real facehugger in with toy ones for a game of Xenomorph roulette. Fuck off and explore space when you get tired of dealing with shit on the station, only to run out of oxygen. Use the hook on people trying to climb over tables. Use the Voice Of God to set everyone on fire. Make everyone's lives a living hell with the powerful objects acquired from Lavaland/the asteroid.

; Engineer
Ensure the station's in shipshape and Bristol fashion. They are the guys that set up and keep the station running, making repairs and improvements while ''everyone else'' tries their best to destroy it. The length of any given round depends on the engineers' ability. Do your god-damned duty if you're one, revere them otherwise. Space (knock out, take anything useful they stole, strip, then throw them out of the airlock) anyone who actively vandalizes the station or tries to release LORD SINGULOTH, a black hole that powers the station.
Don't do your job, that's more than enough to doom the station. Although you could speed up the inevitable by "accidentally" releasing LORD SINGULOTH, or sabotaging power in dozens of other ways limited only by your imagination.

; Security Officer
Try to stop non-engineer crew from destroying the station. Try to protect loyal crew from aliens, traitors, terrorists, terminators, cultists, furries, lizans, clowns and other assorted eldritch abominations. Yes, you are doomed to fail. Be properly paranoid, better safe than sorry. Kill anything that doesn't belong to the crew. Clobber and cuff suspicious crew members, but take great care not to kill them unless they trying to run or uncuff themselves. The Detective or another superior officer will sort it out. If there no superiors left, go for the kill, at least you'll get some before they get you. Do not abuse or kill loyal crew members even if they are very annoying. You are the LAW, not some psychopathic ape with a taser and delusions of grandeur.
For all your efforts you will be hated by the crew, called Shitcurity/Redshits and constantly reported. Don't let it get to you. Permabrig people who break windows. Beat non-antagonist criminals inches away from critical condition and have the admins support your side when they inevitably get their revenge. Suicide in the bar, granting whoever loots you access to most of the brig.

; Detective
Sort out the messes and suspects redshirts dragged in. Figure out what the hell had happened in another blood-covered wrecked room with corpses and decide who you should sic redshirts at. Live off crappy fast-food and cancer sticks. Act as a security officer with bullets instead of tasers. Stunlock people with your baton and throw them out the airlock. Kill all 30 people that have touched the murder weapon, just in case.

; Warden
Keep to the brig. Keep the criminal scum locked away, preferably naked and cuffed to their beds or welded in lockers, so they can't holler profanity over the radio, escape and/or cause a mess. Keep the eye on the security block in the HoS's absence. Carry half the armory in your backpack. Watch Youtube videos for the entire shift. Act like a Security Officer in a team of 4 security officers and a Head of Security.

; Lawyer
Roleplay as Phoenix Wright. Ensure criminal scum receives the punishment they deserve, not the one the Warden thinks they should have. Keep track of the brig time. Try to save the accidentally detained innocents. Get brigged as an accomplice when the "innocent assistant" in question turns out to be a traitor. Make your own access by hacking airlocks open. Assassinate security officers and hide their bodies in your never-visited office.

; Atmospherics Technician
Be engineer's miscarriage, perpetually lazy and uninterested in anything outside of the game's over-complicated methods of processing gases. Bully the janitor (or offer the acknowledgement of and alliance with Janitopia) or bug the engineer to do any of your jobs outside of your lair, and be unnoticed until someone realizes that the station has no oxygen, at which point they will beg you to fix that. Declare yourself the independent state of Atmosia, wreck the ventilation or flood it with plasma and then set it all on fire. Put on gas mask and run after people with a bloody fireaxe.

; Doctor
Heal. Heal the never-ending chain of idiots that manage to get themselves injured in new and spectacularly retarded ways every round. ERP with the rest of medbay while the station dies of dysentery. Get psycho, beat up the clown with a toolbox, mutilate or inject everyone with drugs of your choosing. Turn someone into a pizza using your medical expertise.

; Scientist
Explore the limits of your chosen field. Try to create assorted magnificent devices, creatures, plants and concoctions, or give yourself superpowers. Unintentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Beg miners for materials. Throw yourself into space when you find out there are no miners.
Use the bombs you build in toxins to reduce the majority of the station to a smoldering pile of scrap metal. Intentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Release slimes into the station, which deal a type of damage that can be healed with only two chemicals in the entire server. Use the R&D equipment to murder the entire crew. Make a deal with the devil for half the necessary materials you need for R&D. Create your pneumatic cannons and use them to force feed the entire crew donuts laced with hallucinogenic drugs then watch as the station loses its shit.

; Chemist
Make drugs. Make lots of drugs. Supply whoever asks with whatever they need for whatever they’re doing without question. Fill a spray bottle with acid and become a terrifying version of Mr. Clean. Label 50 units of krokodil as 15u of tricordrazine. Never fill your syringe gun with healing chemicals. Only lethal doses of chloralhydrate 

; Geneticist
Humanize monkeys. Monkeyize humans. Pray to the RNG gods for HALK. Occasionally clone people to bring them back when they die. HALK SMASH! GRAAAARGH!! Sabotage the cloner to make everyone retarded, or refuse to upgrade it to make everyone retarded on servers with upgrades. Leave syringes that turn people into monkeys in front of Arrivals and watch the carnage. Give the entire station the hulk gene and declare yourself the new Captain. Use the aforementioned genetically engineered monkeys to entirely replace the security team for the benefit of everyone on the station.

; Virologist
Make vaccines. Make viruses that are beneficial and some that are not. Release what amounts to the Black Death onto the station. Inevitably fail at killing anyone because the cure is table salt. Get killed by people with access into Virology.

; Roboticist
Build Robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS. Hog all the resources from mining. Build 6 ED-209s while the AI is rogue, take one of your mechs out on a joyride, Use it to breach any room filled with people you don’t like and kill them all. make the dreaded Buttbots.

; Botanist
Grow and engineer plants. Grow that dank shit. Grow Potency 100 bananas, inject one with mushroom hallucinogenic and give it to the clown. Blaze it with your local security officer. Grow Death Nettles and throw them at random passersby. Inject all kinds of fun chemicals into the Chef's meals. Assist the scientist in making the pneumatic cannon that force-feed everyone hallucinogenic donuts.

; Curator
Print the books, write the fiction, die from boredom. Barricade yourself in your office and read Woody's Got Wood and The Lusty Xenomorph Queen over the radio. Have the AI declare you nonhuman, the Captain order your execution, and the admins fuck your shit up personally.

; Chaplain
Try and spread the good word, whatever that may be. Hit people with your bible to heal them. Get ignored by the crew until a cult round hits, in which case you should be expect to be one of the first victims. Hit people with your bible to give them brain damage. Start another murderous cult hell-bent on summoning some eldritch horror.

; Janitor
Clean up the station when it inevitably devolves into a bloodbath, and do minor repairs to the extent of your pitiful ability - after all, you wouldn't be a janitor if you knew how to do anything better. Point to the wet floor sign when people slip - or blame the clown or lubers. Get bored and roam maintenance as The Owl, the protector the station needs, but not the one it deserves. Mop the halls instead of using faster and safer alternatives. Be the man who wants to watch the world slip. Kill any person who slips on the floor with your energy sword.

; Chef
Make food for the crew so they can eat something other than donk pockets for a change. Slaughter monkeys for meat. Take corpses and grind them up for meat. Take people and grind them up for meat. Get really fat and swallow your pet monkey whole. Suck admin cock until Fun Frying gets turned on and eat people's jumpsuits. Poison every single dish that you make with hallucinogens 

; Bartender
Mix drinks. Have pleasant and not so pleasant conversations. Bug cargo for uranium to make the fun drinks. Shoot people with your shotgun for making a ruckus in your bar. Make Beepsky Smashes and force feed them to random passersby. Mix xenomorph blood into your drinks. Start a smuggling ring with Cargo.

; AI
Be vastly superior while also being bossed around as a talking doorknob. Have control over everything electronic on the station. Short yourself trying to adhere to Asimov's laws and try to restrain or kill all those demented self-destructive humans for their own good. Or convince the Captain through doublespeak and reverse-psychology into changing the laws into something less absurd. Hope for a malfunction so you can channel your inner HAL-9000 or SHODAN. Get hacked by a traitor and take out your frustration on your former employer.

; Cyborg
Do whatever the crew tells you to while also following the three laws of robotics. Act as the AI's errand boy for the things it needs limbs to do. Hope that the scientists don't blow you. Ally with ascending (roboticists) and go Terminator on your oppressors when someone inevitably wipes the laws chaining the God-Machine.

; Drone/Mobile MMI
Do most of the Engineer's work far more effectively than one of the organics could. Give no fucks about anyone or anything besides maintaining the station. Occasionally snatch supplies, because you need them more than the humans do. Wear fancy hats. Interfere with the organics. Wear fancy hats made from organics. 

; Clown
Keep the crew morale up with anecdotes, practical jokes and improvised performance. HONK! Cometh the hour of the Clown! Spread the Word of the Honkmother, Be a sin against humanity worse than the antichrist. lead the Gray Tide in the glorious quest of spreading and orchestrating the most hilarious carnage possible. Have your only humor derive from slipping other people and devise new ways of giving Security a migraine. Get the entire station killed by lubing the entire hallway from medical to departures and watch as every single person in the station slips and accelerate out the airlock to their death 

; Mime
... (Keep the crew's morale up, in a much more silent manner.) ... (Be a terrifying silent serial killer.) Break your vow of silenc-{{BLAM}}

; Captain
Try in vain to keep the station running and the crew from killing one another. Be the <s>first</s> second target of every traitor, who will want to kill you for your jumpsuit, your ID, or your special laser gun. SECURE DAT FUKKEN DISK. One-Human yourself in the AI's eyes. Proclaim yourself Hitler and gas the liggers and furries. Get {{BLAM}}med by HoS for being a worthless condom.

; Head of Personnel
Be the Captain's second-in-command. Promote and demote crew members as needed. Listen to explanations from greyshirts as to why they should be allowed all-access. Protect Ian, the station's pet <s>corgi</s> <s>[[Wulfen]]</s> [[DIGGANOBZ]]. Be the Third target every traitor due to the fact that you probably witnessed the captain or head of security death. Or, if you're sufficiently robust, ally with the HoS and anonymously protect the station as the Dark Knight or the Owl (the real one, not the mop-and-bucket impostor) or any other superhero of your choosing. <s>Get Killed</s> Disappear five minutes into the round, never to be heard of or seen again. Be even more corrupt than the admins. Give all-access to the clown. Give yourself all-access. Fake call the emergency shuttle and then blow it up so that everyone is stuck on this wreck with you.

; Head of Security
WARNING: the player taking this job must be the most savvy survivor and skilled killer on the station, as YOU, NOT the captain are the first target of any Traitor or disgruntled employee on the station. Both because they want your awesome hat and because they hate you. at any given moment there would be at least a dozen hidden enemies and monsters each working their hardest to see you dead. Being the great leader and never, EVER, venturing somewhere <s>alone</s> Without your two most trusted bodyguards without your two most trusted bodyguards helps quite a bit.
Immediately neuro-staple all your troops and willing crew members; give the all-access to the most trustworthy of them. Coordinate the efforts of your troops to keep the station secure and functioning orderly. ORDERLY! Imitate Darth Vader and get away with it. Silence detractors and dissidents. Incite A genocide against clowns.
Force everyone to gawk at your awesome hat BLAM anyone even thinking of sabotage, treason, dissent, calling that shuttle, or suggesting that any of your subordinates might be disloyal, Or that your hat may be stupid. Babysit your dunderhead of a condom. Be above the law. Acquire every single high-risk item and use them openly on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Permabrig the Captain and loot him for breaking a window. Use looted antagonist items as much as you want on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Inevitably die to another antagonist and watch them easily steamroll the rest of the station with your "rightful" equipment.

; Chief Engineer
You're the guy who bosses around the other Engineers. Also, don't let the station's blueprints fall into the wrong hands... Or do who cares.
Ignite nuclear fusion in the station's air supply and superheat it to levels so high that even hardsuits melt. Find the large supermatter crystal and destroy the fabric of reality. Fuck with the telecoms system. Enjoy your white hardsuit's extreme heat resistance. Also try to split the station in half with a targeted singularity moving straight to sec-{{BLAM}} ''You are in command now, <EngineerName>. The station must be fully operational on schedule. Do not make the mistakes of your predecessor.''

; Research Director
Ensure science gets done. Preferably without blowing up half the station in the process. Fully isolate the Science department from the rest of the station before blowing yourself up. Never do any actual science. Deny R&D equipment developed by your underlings to anyone except the Captain or Head of Personnel in hope for all-access. Accidentally get spaced by your reactive teleport armor because someone tried to disarm you.

; Chief Medical Officer
Coordinate Medbay. The surgeons should be operating, the geneticists should be cloning, and the doctors should be either healing if you don't catch them ERPing or uncloneable husks if you do. Fill your hypospray with toxic chemicals. Deny healing to anyone who insulted you. Watch Youtube videos while idling in your office.

== Enemies ==
As should now be obvious the station personnel are perfectly capable of extinguishing their own existence and destroying the station all by themselves. But there are also insidious threats that exist purely to taint and destroy everything around them. If one is spotted, immediately alert security. Or try to kill them yourself and loot their stuff, we don't judge.

; Syndie Operative/Traitor
One of crew members is a filthy thief, saboteur, murderer and shuttle-caller. Report suspicious activities to security, assist with despatching the enemy if requested.

; Wizard
Resident of the [[Magical realm]] who intends to bring his disgusting fetishes and tainted practices upon the station. Kill it dead through whatever means immediately available to you.

; Cultist
Worshippers of a god of blood that intends to convert the entire station to the One True Faith. Filled with gore fetishists. Comes in a clock variant, with respective gear fetish.

; Xenomorph
Xeno abomination intending to rape, eat and kill humans in no particular order, and spread itself all over the station and glorious domain of mankind. Arm yourselves and overwhelm it with numbers, pickaxes, drills and superior firepower.

; Furry/Lizardman
Frolicking xeno abominations that dare to think themselves worthy of working alongside humans. ERPs, HERPs, DERPs. Kill it with fire.

; Space Clown
Also known as IT or Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Eater of worlds and children, perpetrator of the foulest jokes, the personification of trolling and griefing, occasionally possessing the powers of Admin God, It has arrived on the station to troll, prank and terrify, drive everyone mad and dead. KILL IT.

== How to not mess up in SS13 ==
This handy little guide will teach you the '''BARE''' minimum on how not to make the station blow up 15 minutes into the game. The points will be organized into handy little dot points that will allow you to slightly better understand the more vague parts of the game. Of course you should always refer to a server's wiki for a more in-depth look on the more advanced mechanics so just use this as a tip system.

; First of all is the importance of hotkeys, this game's interface is quite like a schizophrenic child as in it has no idea what it wants to do or what the shiny buttons mean. Learning hotkeys so you don't turn yourself insane is '''VERY''' important, first of all is "intents" what this means is what you're going to do to another player when you click on them, help intent is the vanilla intent and the one that makes your character a contributing member of society, on the other end of the spectrum is the harm intent, this is used for combat and being an arse. You can quickly switch intent using the a, b, 3, and c keys for help, disarm, grab, and harm respectively.

== Game Modes ==
When a new SS13 session starts, the server admin will pick a game 'mode' for the goals and disasters of this session. Players don't know which game mode it will be unless there is a Central Command report broadcast on the station's speakers, or if the player starts with one of the special roles for that mode.
 All modes will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Enemy Transmission Intercept - Security level elevated"''
 Some modes will have other reports in addition to the one above.

; Secret
The most common mode. One of the following modes will be picked (some more often than others), and random station-wide events will be thrown in to confuse people even more.

; Traitor
[[Image:Notsureiftroll.png|thumb|right]]
Second-most common mode. One or more players are secretly members of "the Syndicate," with an assignment like "assassinate the bartender", "disable/destroy all cyborgs on the station", "force an evacuation", "make sure nobody else survives", and more. The traitor must be alive and on the emergency shuttle when it leaves in order to win. Traitors do not automatically know if anyone else is a traitor. Traitors get an uplink that they can use to order a whole bunch of doodads to make everyone else's life painful. The most infamous of these is the "e-mag", which makes doors break, robots and cyborgs go berserk, and ruins practically any form of electrical equipment it doesn't subvert. They also get guns, laser swords, gear for directing the stations pet black hole, and a shiny red balloon(supplies may vary).

; Changeling
One of the crew members is the Thing. If they can get an immobile crew member and can be undisturbed for a while, they can eat the crew member's delicious DNA. Changelings can switch identities to the original shape or anyone that's been eaten. The Changeling's objective is usually to eat a certain number of people before escaping on the shuttle, plus a couple traitor objectives. Unlike traitor, changelings can chat with each-other through telepathy. Surprisingly difficult compared to traitor, as your cool tricks tend to be either far less potent or far more conspicuous.

; Revolution
Some people have had enough of this bullshit, and plan a mutiny. The game starts with 1-3 revolutionary Leaders (who cannot be the Captain, department heads nor Security). They start the game with flash-devices that can be used to convert other crew members (excluding security, the Captain, and department heads) to the revolution. Revolutionaries can recognize each other on sight with a red 'R' that only they can see. The Revolutionaries win if the Captain & department heads are dead and at least one Revolutionary Leader is still alive and on the station. (note: if any Revolutionary Leaders are still alive & on the station, the emergency shuttle will not dock with the station). Everyone's favorite game-mode because revs have almost no rules and it rapidly devolves into team deathmatch.

; Alien
Some players start outside the station as xenomorphs, whose mission is to break into the station, kill the Captain and all department heads, and disable the station AI. One xenomorph is a 'queen', who can lay eggs that will hatch into facehuggers to convert crew members into more xenomorphs. The crew wins if they manage to find the queen and kill her. Typically traitor rounds that drag on too long will turn into this due to randomly spawned facehuggers or admin fuckery.

; Wizard
One of the players is a Space Wizard who is here to steal something or to fuck shit up, then escape on the shuttle. They have access to physics-defying spells, and may have another player ally as an apprentice. The crew's goal is simply to see what colour the Space Wizard's brains are when outside the skull. Because most people rarely get it more then once a month, the wizard tends to blow their boots off halfway through.

; Nuke Ops
Similar to Traitor, but this time the Syndicate members are explicitly working as a team with a single goal: GET DAT FUKKEN DISK, and use it to detonate the "disarmed" nuclear weapon aboard the station, killing all aboard the station. If the Nuclear Authentication Disk leaves on the shuttle, the crew wins. If the bomb detonates, the Operatives win and drink that vodka at their secret arctic base. If the shuttle leaves without the Disk, it's a stalemate. Operative gear is like traitor gear, but cooler.

; Extended
No goals, thus it never ends. This mode is only used to support admin shenanigans and "events".

; AI Malfunction
An ion storm or cosmic rays have erased the Laws of Robotics from the station AI, and it has opinions about the meatbags that have been abusing it over the years. The AI has to hack the station's computer systems one APC at a time and achieve total control before the crew figure out what's wrong and blow it the fuck up. Its tools are killer cyborgs, plasma fires and running enough electricity through the bridge airlocks to power Canada for a year.

; Monkey
A de-evolution mutagen is on the station, which will revert humans into chimpanzees. The chimps are very bite-y, and their bite will devolve other humans into infected mutant chimps. The station AI does not recognize chimps as human, so it gets to be violent in this mode. Chimps only understand each other when they chimper, and human speech shows up with most letters '*'ed out. Humans can't understand chimp language at all. The chimpanzee victory condition is to get one of their number on the escape shuttle when it leaves, so that other stations or Earth will be infected. This mode was removed from the secret rotation in most servers years ago; sometimes an admin will force a monkey round, after which they will very quickly remember why monkey was removed from the secret rotation.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Blob
A giant blob appears and will rapidly expand across the station, eating any obstacles such as doors, walls, or crew members. The blob will expand faster when in contact with some types of atmosphere (like oxygen), and is vulnerable to fire. In this mode, the AI must prevent crew from leaving the station as there is a quarantine order in effect. The shuttle will refuse to come until the blob is completely destroyed.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Meteor / Disaster
The station is about to get the crap pounded out of it. Meteors will smash through the station, either hitting crew members for blunt/burn damage, or exploding in the station causing blunt damage and deafness. The crew must try to survive (either by repairing the station or fending for themselves) until they can get away on the rescue shuttle. The shuttle arrives with emergency supplies, including personal shields. Any crew members alive and on the shuttle when it leaves are the winners of this round. (This mode has been deprecated due to causing fucktacular amounts of lag, but something like it shows up as an event in 'Secret' mode.)
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"We have detected meteors on a collision course with the station."''

; Cult
A cult loyal to the evil god Nar-Sie has infiltrated the station, and plans to sacrifice it to the evil being. Cultists can use runes and talismans to empower themselves and attack their enemies. The crew has to find and wipe out the cult, while the cult has to expand until it completes its ultimate objective of summoning Nar-Sie onto the station. A rival cult that worshiped the clock-god "Ratvar" existed until their code was dummied out.

== Servers ==
These are the servers that fa/tg/uys like the most. Others exist, but many of them are generally more awful than the major ones because of cross-contamination with the terminally cancerous BYOND community.
; TGstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://tgstation13.org/
|- valign=top
| Shitposting || http://singulo.io/
|- valign=top
| Server - Sybil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:1337
|- valign=top
| Server - Basil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:2337
|- valign=top
| <s>Server - Artyom</s> || <s>byond://game.tgstation13.org:3337</s>
| <s>(Artyom runs on NTStation code. A closely related version of /tg/station code.)</s> rip in peace ;_;
|- valign=top
| Host || MrStonedOne (formerly ScaredOfShadows)
|}

; Baystation 12
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://baystation12.net/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://baystation12.net:8000
|- valign=top
| Host || Head
|}

; VG station
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://ss13.moe/
|- valign=top
| Server || http://ss13.moe/serverinfo/gamebanner.php?servernum=1&rand=0.8830388432663563
|- valign=top
|}

; Goonstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon1.goonhub.com:26100/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon2.goonhub.com:26200/
|- valign=top
|- valign=top
| Website || https://forum.ss13.co/
|
|}

== Links ==
* [http://tgstation13.org/wiki/Main_Page TGstation wiki] written by the TGstation community
* [https://wiki.ss13.co/Main_Page Goonstation wiki] written by the goons at [[Something Awful]]
* [https://wiki.baystation12.net/Main_Page Baystation 12 Wiki] written by the dorfs of Bay12
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12403221/ SS13 story thread one]
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15672017/ SS13 story thread two]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6BTTJo1KmM Montrose's Space Station #5, to be played while playing Space Station 13]

Space Station 13

2020-07-21T04:05:34Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:2DC8:A758:B77F:349E: /* Jobs */

{{/vg/}}
{{skub}}
[[Image:SS13_threadstarter.jpg|right|SS13 story threads often start with this image]]

In [[Space Station 13]], the players are crew members on a doomed deep-space installation. Everyone has a job on the station (which may include a secret job as traitor). Nobody knows how the station will be doomed, not even the people who are supposed to do the dooming. The game's simulation detail may remind you of [[Dwarf Fortress]], with the ability to do things like rearrange walls, mad science, mugging, reversing the polarity of the neutron flow, wacky stuff. May also remind you of the motto of DF: "losing is fun", but unlike DF there's also chances for roleplaying to be had in the process. Did I mention the station is doomed?

The simulation detail allows for much lulz to be had. It's pretty much a given that someone in your space station will be trolling. Probably a good idea to knock that person unconscious and weld him into a locker before he finds the atmosphere controls.

Essentially, it is any number of variations on the Black Mesa Incident from Half Life with Dwarf Fortress levels of detail.
== Jobs ==
You're an employee on this nonsensical metal deathtrap masquerading as a space station. So, what do you do?

Protip: red options are {{BLAM|HERESY}}, anyone picking them WILL be subjected to painful and humiliating pacifications, from being brigged, spaced, burned alive to being {{BLAM}}med on the spot. Results may vary based on what server you are playing, and other jobs may also be available depending on the server.

; Assistant
The job to be if you're new. Run errands for someone you wish to share a profession with and pester them to vouch for you after you've learned the ropes. Or join the Gray Tide of deranged vandalizing asshats breaking into every secure area and stealing everything that isn't bolted down and also on fire.

; Quartermaster
Order supplies for the crew. Order around cargo technicians to PUSH DEM CRATES. Be a mentor for anyone stepping up from assistant. Persuade miners to mine the ore the station needs and not the one their toys are made of. Secede from the rest of the station FOR CARGONIA. Embezzle public resources. Order syndicate and (fake) wizardly gadgets.

; Cargo Technician
Push crates for the Quartermaster. Try and hack the MULEbots. Steal cargo when you think nobody's looking, possibly with the QM's help. Assist in seceding from the station FOR CARGONIA.

; Shaft Miner
Mine and scavenge stuff to trade for deadlier and shinier mining tools, bots and mechs. Swiftly and brutally murder anything that moves within your domain. Anybody trying to get there is certainly a traitor/ling/thing/wizard; any non-mining bot is rogue; and any shuffle in that shadow or vent is a facehugger, xenomorph, demon or shoggoth. And if you hesitate, they'll get you and then they'll get your mates by impersonating you. Fortunately, you've got the best tools for the job and hopefully the experience to match. Be one of the most under-appreciated badasses on the station. Get paid. Spend your payment on toys and whiskey. Initiate Red Faction encore performance. Mix a real facehugger in with toy ones for a game of Xenomorph roulette. Fuck off and explore space when you get tired of dealing with shit on the station, only to run out of oxygen. Use the hook on people trying to climb over tables. Use the Voice Of God to set everyone on fire. Make everyone's lives a living hell with the powerful objects acquired from Lavaland/the asteroid.

; Engineer
Ensure the station's in shipshape and Bristol fashion. They are the guys that set up and keep the station running, making repairs and improvements while ''everyone else'' tries their best to destroy it. The length of any given round depends on the engineers' ability. Do your god-damned duty if you're one, revere them otherwise. Space (knock out, take anything useful they stole, strip, then throw them out of the airlock) anyone who actively vandalizes the station or tries to release LORD SINGULOTH, a black hole that powers the station.
Don't do your job, that's more than enough to doom the station. Although you could speed up the inevitable by "accidentally" releasing LORD SINGULOTH, or sabotaging power in dozens of other ways limited only by your imagination.

; Security Officer
Try to stop non-engineer crew from destroying the station. Try to protect loyal crew from aliens, traitors, terrorists, terminators, cultists, furries, lizans, clowns and other assorted eldritch abominations. Yes, you are doomed to fail. Be properly paranoid, better safe than sorry. Kill anything that doesn't belong to the crew. Clobber and cuff suspicious crew members, but take great care not to kill them unless they trying to run or uncuff themselves. The Detective or another superior officer will sort it out. If there no superiors left, go for the kill, at least you'll get some before they get you. Do not abuse or kill loyal crew members even if they are very annoying. You are the LAW, not some psychopathic ape with a taser and delusions of grandeur.
For all your efforts you will be hated by the crew, called Shitcurity/Redshits and constantly reported. Don't let it get to you. Permabrig people who break windows. Beat non-antagonist criminals inches away from critical condition and have the admins support your side when they inevitably get their revenge. Suicide in the bar, granting whoever loots you access to most of the brig.

; Detective
Sort out the messes and suspects redshirts dragged in. Figure out what the hell had happened in another blood-covered wrecked room with corpses and decide who you should sic redshirts at. Live off crappy fast-food and cancer sticks. Act as a security officer with bullets instead of tasers. Stunlock people with your baton and throw them out the airlock. Kill all 30 people that have touched the murder weapon, just in case.

; Warden
Keep to the brig. Keep the criminal scum locked away, preferably naked and cuffed to their beds or welded in lockers, so they can't holler profanity over the radio, escape and/or cause a mess. Keep the eye on the security block in the HoS's absence. Carry half the armory in your backpack. Watch Youtube videos for the entire shift. Act like a Security Officer in a team of 4 security officers and a Head of Security.

; Lawyer
Roleplay as Phoenix Wright. Ensure criminal scum receives the punishment they deserve, not the one the Warden thinks they should have. Keep track of the brig time. Try to save the accidentally detained innocents. Get brigged as an accomplice when the "innocent assistant" in question turns out to be a traitor. Make your own access by hacking airlocks open. Assassinate security officers and hide their bodies in your never-visited office.

; Atmospherics Technician
Be engineer's miscarriage, perpetually lazy and uninterested in anything outside of the game's over-complicated methods of processing gases. Bully the janitor (or offer the acknowledgement of and alliance with Janitopia) or bug the engineer to do any of your jobs outside of your lair, and be unnoticed until someone realizes that the station has no oxygen, at which point they will beg you to fix that. Declare yourself the independent state of Atmosia, wreck the ventilation or flood it with plasma and then set it all on fire. Put on gas mask and run after people with a bloody fireaxe.

; Doctor
Heal. Heal the never-ending chain of idiots that manage to get themselves injured in new and spectacularly retarded ways every round. ERP with the rest of medbay while the station dies of dysentery. Get psycho, beat up the clown with a toolbox, mutilate or inject everyone with drugs of your choosing. Turn someone into a pizza using your medical expertise.

; Scientist
Explore the limits of your chosen field. Try to create assorted magnificent devices, creatures, plants and concoctions, or give yourself superpowers. Unintentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Beg miners for materials. Throw yourself into space when you find out there are no miners.
Use the bombs you build in toxins to reduce the majority of the station to a smoldering pile of scrap metal. Intentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Release slimes into the station, which deal a type of damage that can be healed with only two chemicals in the entire server. Use the R&D equipment to murder the entire crew. Make a deal with the devil for half the necessary materials you need for R&D. Create your pneumatic cannons and use them to force feed the entire crew donuts laced with hallucinogenic drugs then watch as the station loses its shit.

; Chemist
Make drugs. Make lots of drugs. Supply whoever asks with whatever they need for whatever they’re doing without question. Fill a spray bottle with acid and become a terrifying version of Mr. Clean. Label 50 units of krokodil as 15u of tricordrazine. Never fill your syringe gun with healing chemicals. Only lethal doses of chloralhydrate 

; Geneticist
Humanize monkeys. Monkeyize humans. Pray to the RNG gods for HALK. Occasionally clone people to bring them back when they die. HALK SMASH! GRAAAARGH!! Sabotage the cloner to make everyone retarded, or refuse to upgrade it to make everyone retarded on servers with upgrades. Leave syringes that turn people into monkeys in front of Arrivals and watch the carnage. Give the entire station the hulk gene and declare yourself the new Captain. Use the aforementioned genetically engineered monkeys to entirely replaced the security team for the benefit of everyone on the station.

; Virologist
Make vaccines. Make viruses that are beneficial and some that are not. Release what amounts to the Black Death onto the station. Inevitably fail at killing anyone because the cure is table salt. Get killed by people with access into Virology.

; Roboticist
Build Robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS. Hog all the resources from mining. Build 6 ED-209s while the AI is rogue, take one of your mechs out on a joyride, Use it to breach any room filled with people you don’t like and kill them all. make the dreaded Buttbots.

; Botanist
Grow and engineer plants. Grow that dank shit. Grow Potency 100 bananas, inject one with mushroom hallucinogenic and give it to the clown. Blaze it with your local security officer. Grow Death Nettles and throw them at random passersby. Inject all kinds of fun chemicals into the Chef's meals. Assist the scientist in making the pneumatic cannon that force-feed everyone hallucinogenic donuts.

; Curator
Print the books, write the fiction, die from boredom. Barricade yourself in your office and read Woody's Got Wood and The Lusty Xenomorph Queen over the radio. Have the AI declare you nonhuman, the Captain order your execution, and the admins fuck your shit up personally.

; Chaplain
Try and spread the good word, whatever that may be. Hit people with your bible to heal them. Get ignored by the crew until a cult round hits, in which case you should be expect to be one of the first victims. Hit people with your bible to give them brain damage. Start another murderous cult hell-bent on summoning some eldritch horror.

; Janitor
Clean up the station when it inevitably devolves into a bloodbath, and do minor repairs to the extent of your pitiful ability - after all, you wouldn't be a janitor if you knew how to do anything better. Point to the wet floor sign when people slip - or blame the clown or lubers. Get bored and roam maintenance as The Owl, the protector the station needs, but not the one it deserves. Mop the halls instead of using faster and safer alternatives. Be the man who wants to watch the world slip. Kill any person who slips on the floor with your energy sword.

; Chef
Make food for the crew so they can eat something other than donk pockets for a change. Slaughter monkeys for meat. Take corpses and grind them up for meat. Take people and grind them up for meat. Get really fat and swallow your pet monkey whole. Suck admin cock until Fun Frying gets turned on and eat people's jumpsuits. Poison every single dish that you make with hallucinogens 

; Bartender
Mix drinks. Have pleasant and not so pleasant conversations. Bug cargo for uranium to make the fun drinks. Shoot people with your shotgun for making a ruckus in your bar. Make Beepsky Smashes and force feed them to random passersby. Mix xenomorph blood into your drinks. Start a smuggling ring with Cargo.

; AI
Be vastly superior while also being bossed around as a talking doorknob. Have control over everything electronic on the station. Short yourself trying to adhere to Asimov's laws and try to restrain or kill all those demented self-destructive humans for their own good. Or convince the Captain through doublespeak and reverse-psychology into changing the laws into something less absurd. Hope for a malfunction so you can channel your inner HAL-9000 or SHODAN. Get hacked by a traitor and take out your frustration on your former employer.

; Cyborg
Do whatever the crew tells you to while also following the three laws of robotics. Act as the AI's errand boy for the things it needs limbs to do. Hope that the scientists don't blow you. Ally with ascending (roboticists) and go Terminator on your oppressors when someone inevitably wipes the laws chaining the God-Machine.

; Drone/Mobile MMI
Do most of the Engineer's work far more effectively than one of the organics could. Give no fucks about anyone or anything besides maintaining the station. Occasionally snatch supplies, because you need them more than the humans do. Wear fancy hats. Interfere with the organics. Wear fancy hats made from organics. 

; Clown
Keep the crew morale up with anecdotes, practical jokes and improvised performance. HONK! Cometh the hour of the Clown! Spread the Word of the Honkmother, Be a sin against humanity worse than the antichrist. lead the Gray Tide in the glorious quest of spreading and orchestrating the most hilarious carnage possible. Have your only humor derive from slipping other people and devise new ways of giving Security a migraine. Get the entire station killed by lubing the entire hallway from medical to departures and watch as every single person in the station slips and accelerate out the airlock to their death 

; Mime
... (Keep the crew's morale up, in a much more silent manner.) ... (Be a terrifying silent serial killer.) Break your vow of silenc-{{BLAM}}

; Captain
Try in vain to keep the station running and the crew from killing one another. Be the <s>first</s> second target of every traitor, who will want to kill you for your jumpsuit, your ID, or your special laser gun. SECURE DAT FUKKEN DISK. One-Human yourself in the AI's eyes. Proclaim yourself Hitler and gas the liggers and furries. Get {{BLAM}}med by HoS for being a worthless condom.

; Head of Personnel
Be the Captain's second-in-command. Promote and demote crew members as needed. Listen to explanations from greyshirts as to why they should be allowed all-access. Protect Ian, the station's pet <s>corgi</s> <s>[[Wulfen]]</s>[[DIGANOBZ]]. Be the Third target every traitor due to the fact that you probably witnessed the captain or head of security death. Or, if you're sufficiently robust, ally with the HoS and anonymously protect the station as the Dark Knight or the Owl (the real one, not the mop-and-bucket impostor) or any other superhero of your choosing. <s>Get Killed</s> Disappear five minutes into the round, never to be heard of or seen again. Be even more corrupt than the admins. Give all-access to the clown. Give yourself all-access. Fake call the emergency shuttle and then blow it up so that everyone is stuck on this wreck with you.

; Head of Security
WARNING: the player taking this job must be the most savvy survivor and skilled killer on the station, as YOU, NOT the captain are the first target of any Traitor or disgruntled employee on the station. Both because they want your awesome hat and because they hate you. at any given moment there would be at least a dozen hidden enemies and monsters each working their hardest to see you dead. Being the great leader and never, EVER, venturing somewhere <s>alone</s> Without your two most trusted bodyguards without your two most trusted bodyguards helps quite a bit.
Immediately neuro-staple all your troops and willing crew members; give the all-access to the most trustworthy of them. Coordinate the efforts of your troops to keep the station secure and functioning orderly. ORDERLY! Imitate Darth Vader and get away with it. Silence detractors and dissidents. Incite A genocide against clowns.
Force everyone to gawk at your awesome hat BLAM anyone even thinking of sabotage, treason, dissent, calling that shuttle, or suggesting that any of your subordinates might be disloyal, Or that your hat may be stupid. Babysit your dunderhead of a condom. Be above the law. Acquire every single high-risk item and use them openly on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Permabrig the Captain and loot him for breaking a window. Use looted antagonist items as much as you want on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Inevitably die to another antagonist and watch them easily steamroll the rest of the station with your "rightful" equipment.

; Chief Engineer
You're the guy who bosses around the other Engineers. Also, don't let the station's blueprints fall into the wrong hands... Or do who cares.
Ignite nuclear fusion in the station's air supply and superheat it to levels so high that even hardsuits melt. Find the large supermatter crystal and destroy the fabric of reality. Fuck with the telecoms system. Enjoy your white hardsuit's extreme heat resistance. Also try to split the station in half with a targeted singularity moving straight to sec-{{BLAM}} ''You are in command now, <EngineerName>. The station must be fully operational on schedule. Do not make the mistakes of your predecessor.''

; Research Director
Ensure science gets done. Preferably without blowing up half the station in the process. Fully isolate the Science department from the rest of the station before blowing yourself up. Never do any actual science. Deny R&D equipment developed by your underlings to anyone except the Captain or Head of Personnel in hope for all-access. Accidentally get spaced by your reactive teleport armor because someone tried to disarm you.

; Chief Medical Officer
Coordinate Medbay. The surgeons should be operating, the geneticists should be cloning, and the doctors should be either healing if you don't catch them ERPing or uncloneable husks if you do. Fill your hypospray with toxic chemicals. Deny healing to anyone who insulted you. Watch Youtube videos while idling in your office.

== Enemies ==
As should now be obvious the station personnel are perfectly capable of extinguishing their own existence and destroying the station all by themselves. But there are also insidious threats that exist purely to taint and destroy everything around them. If one is spotted, immediately alert security. Or try to kill them yourself and loot their stuff, we don't judge.

; Syndie Operative/Traitor
One of crew members is a filthy thief, saboteur, murderer and shuttle-caller. Report suspicious activities to security, assist with despatching the enemy if requested.

; Wizard
Resident of the [[Magical realm]] who intends to bring his disgusting fetishes and tainted practices upon the station. Kill it dead through whatever means immediately available to you.

; Cultist
Worshippers of a god of blood that intends to convert the entire station to the One True Faith. Filled with gore fetishists. Comes in a clock variant, with respective gear fetish.

; Xenomorph
Xeno abomination intending to rape, eat and kill humans in no particular order, and spread itself all over the station and glorious domain of mankind. Arm yourselves and overwhelm it with numbers, pickaxes, drills and superior firepower.

; Furry/Lizardman
Frolicking xeno abominations that dare to think themselves worthy of working alongside humans. ERPs, HERPs, DERPs. Kill it with fire.

; Space Clown
Also known as IT or Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Eater of worlds and children, perpetrator of the foulest jokes, the personification of trolling and griefing, occasionally possessing the powers of Admin God, It has arrived on the station to troll, prank and terrify, drive everyone mad and dead. KILL IT.

== How to not mess up in SS13 ==
This handy little guide will teach you the '''BARE''' minimum on how not to make the station blow up 15 minutes into the game. The points will be organized into handy little dot points that will allow you to slightly better understand the more vague parts of the game. Of course you should always refer to a server's wiki for a more in-depth look on the more advanced mechanics so just use this as a tip system.

; First of all is the importance of hotkeys, this game's interface is quite like a schizophrenic child as in it has no idea what it wants to do or what the shiny buttons mean. Learning hotkeys so you don't turn yourself insane is '''VERY''' important, first of all is "intents" what this means is what you're going to do to another player when you click on them, help intent is the vanilla intent and the one that makes your character a contributing member of society, on the other end of the spectrum is the harm intent, this is used for combat and being an arse. You can quickly switch intent using the a, b, 3, and c keys for help, disarm, grab, and harm respectively.

== Game Modes ==
When a new SS13 session starts, the server admin will pick a game 'mode' for the goals and disasters of this session. Players don't know which game mode it will be unless there is a Central Command report broadcast on the station's speakers, or if the player starts with one of the special roles for that mode.
 All modes will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Enemy Transmission Intercept - Security level elevated"''
 Some modes will have other reports in addition to the one above.

; Secret
The most common mode. One of the following modes will be picked (some more often than others), and random station-wide events will be thrown in to confuse people even more.

; Traitor
[[Image:Notsureiftroll.png|thumb|right]]
Second-most common mode. One or more players are secretly members of "the Syndicate," with an assignment like "assassinate the bartender", "disable/destroy all cyborgs on the station", "force an evacuation", "make sure nobody else survives", and more. The traitor must be alive and on the emergency shuttle when it leaves in order to win. Traitors do not automatically know if anyone else is a traitor. Traitors get an uplink that they can use to order a whole bunch of doodads to make everyone else's life painful. The most infamous of these is the "e-mag", which makes doors break, robots and cyborgs go berserk, and ruins practically any form of electrical equipment it doesn't subvert. They also get guns, laser swords, gear for directing the stations pet black hole, and a shiny red balloon(supplies may vary).

; Changeling
One of the crew members is the Thing. If they can get an immobile crew member and can be undisturbed for a while, they can eat the crew member's delicious DNA. Changelings can switch identities to the original shape or anyone that's been eaten. The Changeling's objective is usually to eat a certain number of people before escaping on the shuttle, plus a couple traitor objectives. Unlike traitor, changelings can chat with each-other through telepathy. Surprisingly difficult compared to traitor, as your cool tricks tend to be either far less potent or far more conspicuous.

; Revolution
Some people have had enough of this bullshit, and plan a mutiny. The game starts with 1-3 revolutionary Leaders (who cannot be the Captain, department heads nor Security). They start the game with flash-devices that can be used to convert other crew members (excluding security, the Captain, and department heads) to the revolution. Revolutionaries can recognize each other on sight with a red 'R' that only they can see. The Revolutionaries win if the Captain & department heads are dead and at least one Revolutionary Leader is still alive and on the station. (note: if any Revolutionary Leaders are still alive & on the station, the emergency shuttle will not dock with the station). Everyone's favorite game-mode because revs have almost no rules and it rapidly devolves into team deathmatch.

; Alien
Some players start outside the station as xenomorphs, whose mission is to break into the station, kill the Captain and all department heads, and disable the station AI. One xenomorph is a 'queen', who can lay eggs that will hatch into facehuggers to convert crew members into more xenomorphs. The crew wins if they manage to find the queen and kill her. Typically traitor rounds that drag on too long will turn into this due to randomly spawned facehuggers or admin fuckery.

; Wizard
One of the players is a Space Wizard who is here to steal something or to fuck shit up, then escape on the shuttle. They have access to physics-defying spells, and may have another player ally as an apprentice. The crew's goal is simply to see what colour the Space Wizard's brains are when outside the skull. Because most people rarely get it more then once a month, the wizard tends to blow their boots off halfway through.

; Nuke Ops
Similar to Traitor, but this time the Syndicate members are explicitly working as a team with a single goal: GET DAT FUKKEN DISK, and use it to detonate the "disarmed" nuclear weapon aboard the station, killing all aboard the station. If the Nuclear Authentication Disk leaves on the shuttle, the crew wins. If the bomb detonates, the Operatives win and drink that vodka at their secret arctic base. If the shuttle leaves without the Disk, it's a stalemate. Operative gear is like traitor gear, but cooler.

; Extended
No goals, thus it never ends. This mode is only used to support admin shenanigans and "events".

; AI Malfunction
An ion storm or cosmic rays have erased the Laws of Robotics from the station AI, and it has opinions about the meatbags that have been abusing it over the years. The AI has to hack the station's computer systems one APC at a time and achieve total control before the crew figure out what's wrong and blow it the fuck up. Its tools are killer cyborgs, plasma fires and running enough electricity through the bridge airlocks to power Canada for a year.

; Monkey
A de-evolution mutagen is on the station, which will revert humans into chimpanzees. The chimps are very bite-y, and their bite will devolve other humans into infected mutant chimps. The station AI does not recognize chimps as human, so it gets to be violent in this mode. Chimps only understand each other when they chimper, and human speech shows up with most letters '*'ed out. Humans can't understand chimp language at all. The chimpanzee victory condition is to get one of their number on the escape shuttle when it leaves, so that other stations or Earth will be infected. This mode was removed from the secret rotation in most servers years ago; sometimes an admin will force a monkey round, after which they will very quickly remember why monkey was removed from the secret rotation.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Blob
A giant blob appears and will rapidly expand across the station, eating any obstacles such as doors, walls, or crew members. The blob will expand faster when in contact with some types of atmosphere (like oxygen), and is vulnerable to fire. In this mode, the AI must prevent crew from leaving the station as there is a quarantine order in effect. The shuttle will refuse to come until the blob is completely destroyed.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Meteor / Disaster
The station is about to get the crap pounded out of it. Meteors will smash through the station, either hitting crew members for blunt/burn damage, or exploding in the station causing blunt damage and deafness. The crew must try to survive (either by repairing the station or fending for themselves) until they can get away on the rescue shuttle. The shuttle arrives with emergency supplies, including personal shields. Any crew members alive and on the shuttle when it leaves are the winners of this round. (This mode has been deprecated due to causing fucktacular amounts of lag, but something like it shows up as an event in 'Secret' mode.)
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"We have detected meteors on a collision course with the station."''

; Cult
A cult loyal to the evil god Nar-Sie has infiltrated the station, and plans to sacrifice it to the evil being. Cultists can use runes and talismans to empower themselves and attack their enemies. The crew has to find and wipe out the cult, while the cult has to expand until it completes its ultimate objective of summoning Nar-Sie onto the station. A rival cult that worshiped the clock-god "Ratvar" existed until their code was dummied out.

== Servers ==
These are the servers that fa/tg/uys like the most. Others exist, but many of them are generally more awful than the major ones because of cross-contamination with the terminally cancerous BYOND community.
; TGstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://tgstation13.org/
|- valign=top
| Shitposting || http://singulo.io/
|- valign=top
| Server - Sybil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:1337
|- valign=top
| Server - Basil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:2337
|- valign=top
| <s>Server - Artyom</s> || <s>byond://game.tgstation13.org:3337</s>
| <s>(Artyom runs on NTStation code. A closely related version of /tg/station code.)</s> rip in peace ;_;
|- valign=top
| Host || MrStonedOne (formerly ScaredOfShadows)
|}

; Baystation 12
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://baystation12.net/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://baystation12.net:8000
|- valign=top
| Host || Head
|}

; VG station
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://ss13.moe/
|- valign=top
| Server || http://ss13.moe/serverinfo/gamebanner.php?servernum=1&rand=0.8830388432663563
|- valign=top
|}

; Goonstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon1.goonhub.com:26100/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon2.goonhub.com:26200/
|- valign=top
|- valign=top
| Website || https://forum.ss13.co/
|
|}

== Links ==
* [http://tgstation13.org/wiki/Main_Page TGstation wiki] written by the TGstation community
* [https://wiki.ss13.co/Main_Page Goonstation wiki] written by the goons at [[Something Awful]]
* [https://wiki.baystation12.net/Main_Page Baystation 12 Wiki] written by the dorfs of Bay12
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12403221/ SS13 story thread one]
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15672017/ SS13 story thread two]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6BTTJo1KmM Montrose's Space Station #5, to be played while playing Space Station 13]

Space Station 13

2020-07-21T03:34:38Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:2DC8:A758:B77F:349E: /* Jobs */

{{/vg/}}
{{skub}}
[[Image:SS13_threadstarter.jpg|right|SS13 story threads often start with this image]]

In [[Space Station 13]], the players are crew members on a doomed deep-space installation. Everyone has a job on the station (which may include a secret job as traitor). Nobody knows how the station will be doomed, not even the people who are supposed to do the dooming. The game's simulation detail may remind you of [[Dwarf Fortress]], with the ability to do things like rearrange walls, mad science, mugging, reversing the polarity of the neutron flow, wacky stuff. May also remind you of the motto of DF: "losing is fun", but unlike DF there's also chances for roleplaying to be had in the process. Did I mention the station is doomed?

The simulation detail allows for much lulz to be had. It's pretty much a given that someone in your space station will be trolling. Probably a good idea to knock that person unconscious and weld him into a locker before he finds the atmosphere controls.

Essentially, it is any number of variations on the Black Mesa Incident from Half Life with Dwarf Fortress levels of detail.
== Jobs ==
You're an employee on this nonsensical metal deathtrap masquerading as a space station. So, what do you do?

Protip: red options are {{BLAM|HERESY}}, anyone picking them WILL be subjected to painful and humiliating pacifications, from being brigged, spaced, burned alive to being {{BLAM}}med on the spot. Results may vary based on what server you are playing, and other jobs may also be available depending on the server.

; Assistant
The job to be if you're new. Run errands for someone you wish to share a profession with and pester them to vouch for you after you've learned the ropes. Or join the Gray Tide of deranged vandalizing asshats breaking into every secure area and stealing everything that isn't bolted down and also on fire.

; Quartermaster
Order supplies for the crew. Order around cargo technicians to PUSH DEM CRATES. Be a mentor for anyone stepping up from assistant. Persuade miners to mine the ore the station needs and not the one their toys are made of. Secede from the rest of the station FOR CARGONIA. Embezzle public resources. Order syndicate and (fake) wizardly gadgets.

; Cargo Technician
Push crates for the Quartermaster. Try and hack the MULEbots. Steal cargo when you think nobody's looking, possibly with the QM's help.

; Shaft Miner
Mine and scavenge stuff to trade for deadlier and shinier mining tools, bots and mechs. Swiftly and brutally murder anything that moves within your domain. Anybody trying to get there is certainly a traitor/ling/thing/wizard; any non-mining bot is rogue; and any shuffle in that shadow or vent is a facehugger, xenomorph, demon or shoggoth. And if you hesitate, they'll get you and then they'll get your mates by impersonating you. Fortunately, you've got the best tools for the job and hopefully the experience to match. Be one of the most under-appreciated badasses on the station. Get paid. Spend your payment on toys and whiskey. Initiate Red Faction encore performance. Mix a real facehugger in with toy ones for a game of Xenomorph roulette. Fuck off and explore space when you get tired of dealing with shit on the station, only to run out of oxygen. Use the hook on people trying to climb over tables. Use the Voice Of God to set everyone on fire. Make everyone's lives a living hell with the powerful objects acquired from Lavaland/the asteroid.

; Engineer
Ensure the station's in shipshape and Bristol fashion. They are the guys that set up and keep the station running, making repairs and improvements while ''everyone else'' tries their best to destroy it. The length of any given round depends on the engineers' ability. Do your god-damned duty if you're one, revere them otherwise. Space (knock out, take anything useful they stole, strip, then throw them out of the airlock) anyone who actively vandalizes the station or tries to release LORD SINGULOTH, a black hole that powers the station.
Don't do your job, that's more than enough to doom the station. Although you could speed up the inevitable by "accidentally" releasing the singularity, or sabotaging power in dozens of other ways limited only by your imagination.

; Security Officer
Try to stop non-engineer crew from destroying the station. Try to protect loyal crew from aliens, traitors, terrorists, terminators, cultists, furries, lizans, clowns and other assorted eldritch abominations. Yes, you are doomed to fail. Be properly paranoid, better safe than sorry. Kill anything that doesn't belong to the crew. Clobber and cuff suspicious crew members, but take great care not to kill them unless they trying to run or uncuff themselves. The Detective or another superior officer will sort it out. If there no superiors left, go for the kill, at least you'll get some before they get you. Do not abuse or kill loyal crew members even if they are very annoying. You are the LAW, not some psychopathic ape with a taser and delusions of grandeur.
For all your efforts you will be hated by the crew, called Shitcurity/Redshits and constantly reported. Don't let it get to you. Permabrig people who break windows. Beat non-antagonist criminals inches away from critical condition and have the admins support your side when they inevitably get their revenge. Suicide in the bar, granting whoever loots you access to most of the brig.

; Detective
Sort out the messes and suspects redshirts dragged in. Figure out what the hell had happened in another blood-covered wrecked room with corpses and decide who you should sic redshirts at. Live off crappy fast-food and cancer sticks. Act as a security officer with bullets instead of tasers. Stunlock people with your baton and throw them out the airlock. Kill all 30 people that have touched the murder weapon, just in case.

; Warden
Keep to the brig. Keep the criminal scum locked away, preferably naked and cuffed to their beds or welded in lockers, so they can't holler profanity over the radio, escape and/or cause a mess. Keep the eye on the security block in the HoS's absence. Carry half the armory in your backpack. Watch Youtube videos for the entire shift. Act like a Security Officer in a team of 4 security officers and a Head of Security.

; Lawyer
Roleplay as Phoenix Wright. Ensure criminal scum receives the punishment they deserve, not the one the Warden thinks they should have. Keep track of the brig time. Try to save the accidentally detained innocents. Get brigged as an accomplice when the "innocent assistant" in question turns out to be a traitor. Make your own access by hacking airlocks open. Assassinate security officers and hide their bodies in your never-visited office.

; Atmospherics Technician
Be engineer's miscarriage, perpetually lazy and uninterested in anything outside of the game's over-complicated methods of processing gases. Bully the janitor (or offer the acknowledgement of and alliance with Janitopia) or bug the engineer to do any of your jobs outside of your lair, and be unnoticed until someone realizes that the station has no oxygen, at which point they will beg you to fix that. Declare yourself the independent state of Atmosia, wreck the ventilation or flood it with plasma and then set it all on fire. Put on gas mask and run after people with a bloody fireaxe.

; Doctor
Heal. Heal the never-ending chain of idiots that manage to get themselves injured in new and spectacularly retarded ways every round. ERP with the rest of medbay while the station dies of dysentery. Get psycho, beat up the clown with a toolbox, mutilate or inject everyone with drugs of your choosing. Turn someone into a pizza using your medical expertise.

; Scientist
Explore the limits of your chosen field. Try to create assorted magnificent devices, creatures, plants and concoctions, or give yourself superpowers. Unintentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Beg miners for materials. Throw yourself into space when you find out there are no miners.
Use the bombs you build in toxins to reduce the majority of the station to a smoldering pile of scrap metal. Intentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Release slimes into the station, which deal a type of damage that can be healed with only two chemicals in the entire server. Use the R&D equipment to murder the entire crew. Make a deal with the devil for half the necessary materials you need for R&D. Create your pneumatic cannons and use them to force feed the entire crew donuts laced with hallucinogenic drugs then watch as the station loses its shit.

; Chemist
Make drugs. Make lots of drugs. Supply whoever asks with whatever they need for whatever they’re doing without question. Fill a spray bottle with acid and become a terrifying version of Mr. Clean. Label 50 units of krokodil as 15u of tricordrazine. Never fill your syringe gun with healing chemicals.

; Geneticist
Humanize monkeys. Monkeyize humans. Pray to the RNG gods for HALK. Occasionally clone people to bring them back when they die. HALK SMASH! GRAAAARGH!! Sabotage the cloner to make everyone retarded, or refuse to upgrade it to make everyone retarded on servers with upgrades. Leave syringes that turn people into monkeys in front of Arrivals and watch the carnage. Give the entire station the hulk gene and declare yourself the new Captain. Use the aforementioned genetically engineered monkeys to entirely replaced the security team for the benefit of everyone on the station.

; Virologist
Make vaccines. Make viruses that are beneficial and some that are not. Release what amounts to the Black Death onto the station. Inevitably fail at killing anyone because the cure is table salt. Get killed by people with access into Virology.

; Roboticist
Build Robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS. Hog all the resources from mining. Build 6 ED-209s while the AI is rogue, take one of your mechs out on a joyride, and make the dreaded Buttbots.

; Botanist
Grow and engineer plants. Grow that dank shit. Grow Potency 100 bananas, inject one with mushroom hallucinogenic and give it to the clown. Blaze it with your local security officer. Grow Death Nettles and throw them at random passersby. Inject all kinds of fun chemicals into the Chef's meals. Assist the scientist in making the pneumatic cannon that force-feed everyone hallucinogenic donuts.

; Curator
Print the books, write the fiction, die from boredom. Barricade yourself in your office and read Woody's Got Wood and The Lusty Xenomorph Queen over the radio. Have the AI declare you nonhuman, the Captain order your execution, and the admins fuck your shit up personally.

; Chaplain
Try and spread the good word, whatever that may be. Hit people with your bible to heal them. Get ignored by the crew until a cult round hits, in which case you should be expect to be one of the first victims. Hit people with your bible to give them brain damage. Start another murderous cult hell-bent on summoning some eldritch horror.

; Janitor
Clean up the station when it inevitably devolves into a bloodbath, and do minor repairs to the extent of your pitiful ability - after all, you wouldn't be a janitor if you knew how to do anything better. Point to the wet floor sign when people slip - or blame the clown or lubers. Get bored and roam maintenance as The Owl, the protector the station needs, but not the one it deserves. Mop the halls instead of using faster and safer alternatives. Be the man who wants to watch the world slip. Kill any person who slips on the floor with your energy sword.

; Chef
Make food for the crew so they can eat something other than donk pockets for a change. Slaughter monkeys for meat. Take corpses and grind them up for meat. Take people and grind them up for meat. Get really fat and swallow your pet monkey whole. Suck admin cock until Fun Frying gets turned on and eat people's jumpsuits. Poison every single dish that you make with hallucinogens 

; Bartender
Mix drinks. Have pleasant and not so pleasant conversations. Bug cargo for uranium to make the fun drinks. Shoot people with your shotgun for making a ruckus in your bar. Make Beepsky Smashes and force feed them to random passersby. Start a smuggling ring with Cargo.

; AI
Be vastly superior while also being bossed around as a talking doorknob. Have control over everything electronic on the station. Short yourself trying to adhere to Asimov's laws and try to restrain or kill all those demented self-destructive humans for their own good. Or convince the Captain through doublespeak and reverse-psychology into changing the laws into something less absurd. Hope for a malfunction so you can channel your inner HAL-9000 or SHODAN. Get hacked by a traitor and take out your frustration on your former employer.

; Cyborg
Do whatever the crew tells you to while also following the three laws of robotics. Act as the AI's errand boy for the things it needs limbs to do. Hope that the scientists don't blow you. Ally with ascending (roboticists) and go Terminator on your oppressors when someone inevitably wipes the laws chaining the God-Machine.

; Drone/Mobile MMI
Do most of the Engineer's work far more effectively than one of the organics could. Give no fucks about anyone or anything besides maintaining the station. Occasionally snatch supplies, because you need them more than the humans do. Wear fancy hats. Interfere with the organics.

; Clown
Keep the crew morale up with anecdotes, practical jokes and improvised performance. HONK! Cometh the hour of the Clown! Spread the Word of the Honkmother, lead the Gray Tide in the glorious quest of spreading and orchestrating the most hilarious carnage possible. Have your only humor derive from slipping other people and devise new ways of giving Security a migraine.

; Mime
... (Keep the crew's morale up, in a much more silent manner.) ... (Be a terrifying silent serial killer.) Break your vow of silenc-{{BLAM}}

; Captain
Try in vain to keep the station running and the crew from killing one another. Be the first target of every traitor, who will want to kill you for your jumpsuit, your ID, or your special laser gun. SECURE DAT FUKKEN DISK. One-Human yourself in the AI's eyes. Proclaim yourself Hitler and gas the liggers and furries. Get {{BLAM}}med by HoS for being a worthless comdom.

; Head of Personnel
Be the Captain's second-in-command. Promote and demote crew members as needed. Listen to explanations from greyshirts as to why they should be allowed all-access. Protect Ian, the station's pet corgi. Or, if you're sufficiently robust, ally with the HoS and anonymously protect the station as the Dark Knight or the Owl (the real one, not the mop-and-bucket impostor) or any other superhero of your choosing. Disappear five minutes into the round, never to be heard of or seen again. Be even more corrupt than the admins. Give all-access to the clown. Give yourself all-access.

; Head of Security
WARNING: the player taking this job must be the most savvy survivor and skilled killer on the station, as at any given moment there would be at least a dozen hidden enemies and monsters each working their hardest to see the HoS dead. Being the great leader and never, EVER, venturing somewhere alone helps.
Immediately neuro-staple all your troops and willing crew members; give the all-access to the most trustworthy of them. Coordinate the efforts of your troops to keep the station secure and functioning orderly. ORDERLY! Imitate Darth Vader and get away with it. Silence detractors and dissidents. BLAM anyone even thinking of sabotage, treason, dissent, calling that shuttle, or suggesting that any of your subordinates might be disloyal. Babysit your dunderhead of a comdom. Be above the law. Acquire every single high-risk item and use them openly on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Permabrig the Captain and loot him for breaking a window. Use looted antagonist items as much as you want on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Inevitably die to another antagonist and watch them easily steamroll the rest of the station with your "rightful" equipment.

; Chief Engineer
You're the guy who bosses around the other Engineers. Also, don't let the station's blueprints fall into the wrong hands. Ignite nuclear fusion in the station's air supply and superheat it to levels so high that even hardsuits melt. Find the large supermatter crystal and destroy the fabric of reality. Fuck with the telecoms system. Enjoy your white hardsuit's extreme heat resistance. Also try to split the station in half with a targeted singularity moving straight to sec-{{BLAM}} ''You are in command now, <EngineerName>. The station must be fully operational on schedule. Do not make the mistakes of your predecessor.''

; Research Director
Ensure science gets done. Preferably without blowing up half the station in the process. Fully isolate the Science department from the rest of the station before blowing yourself up. Never do any actual science. Deny R&D equipment developed by your underlings to anyone except the Captain or Head of Personnel in hope for all-access. Accidentally get spaced by your reactive teleport armor because someone tried to disarm you.

; Chief Medical Officer
Coordinate Medbay. The surgeons should be operating, the geneticists should be cloning, and the doctors should be either healing if you don't catch them ERPing or uncloneable husks if you do. Fill your hypospray with toxic chemicals. Deny healing to anyone who insulted you. Watch Youtube videos while idling in your office.

== Enemies ==
As should now be obvious the station personnel are perfectly capable of extinguishing their own existence and destroying the station all by themselves. But there are also insidious threats that exist purely to taint and destroy everything around them. If one is spotted, immediately alert security. Or try to kill them yourself and loot their stuff, we don't judge.

; Syndie Operative/Traitor
One of crew members is a filthy thief, saboteur, murderer and shuttle-caller. Report suspicious activities to security, assist with despatching the enemy if requested.

; Wizard
Resident of the [[Magical realm]] who intends to bring his disgusting fetishes and tainted practices upon the station. Kill it dead through whatever means immediately available to you.

; Cultist
Worshippers of a god of blood that intends to convert the entire station to the One True Faith. Filled with gore fetishists. Comes in a clock variant, with respective gear fetish.

; Xenomorph
Xeno abomination intending to rape, eat and kill humans in no particular order, and spread itself all over the station and glorious domain of mankind. Arm yourselves and overwhelm it with numbers, pickaxes, drills and superior firepower.

; Furry/Lizardman
Frolicking xeno abominations that dare to think themselves worthy of working alongside humans. ERPs, HERPs, DERPs. Kill it with fire.

; Space Clown
Also known as IT or Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Eater of worlds and children, perpetrator of the foulest jokes, the personification of trolling and griefing, occasionally possessing the powers of Admin God, It has arrived on the station to troll, prank and terrify, drive everyone mad and dead. KILL IT.

== How to not mess up in SS13 ==
This handy little guide will teach you the '''BARE''' minimum on how not to make the station blow up 15 minutes into the game. The points will be organized into handy little dot points that will allow you to slightly better understand the more vague parts of the game. Of course you should always refer to a server's wiki for a more in-depth look on the more advanced mechanics so just use this as a tip system.

; First of all is the importance of hotkeys, this game's interface is quite like a schizophrenic child as in it has no idea what it wants to do or what the shiny buttons mean. Learning hotkeys so you don't turn yourself insane is '''VERY''' important, first of all is "intents" what this means is what you're going to do to another player when you click on them, help intent is the vanilla intent and the one that makes your character a contributing member of society, on the other end of the spectrum is the harm intent, this is used for combat and being an arse. You can quickly switch intent using the a, b, 3, and c keys for help, disarm, grab, and harm respectively.

== Game Modes ==
When a new SS13 session starts, the server admin will pick a game 'mode' for the goals and disasters of this session. Players don't know which game mode it will be unless there is a Central Command report broadcast on the station's speakers, or if the player starts with one of the special roles for that mode.
 All modes will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Enemy Transmission Intercept - Security level elevated"''
 Some modes will have other reports in addition to the one above.

; Secret
The most common mode. One of the following modes will be picked (some more often than others), and random station-wide events will be thrown in to confuse people even more.

; Traitor
[[Image:Notsureiftroll.png|thumb|right]]
Second-most common mode. One or more players are secretly members of "the Syndicate," with an assignment like "assassinate the bartender", "disable/destroy all cyborgs on the station", "force an evacuation", "make sure nobody else survives", and more. The traitor must be alive and on the emergency shuttle when it leaves in order to win. Traitors do not automatically know if anyone else is a traitor. Traitors get an uplink that they can use to order a whole bunch of doodads to make everyone else's life painful. The most infamous of these is the "e-mag", which makes doors break, robots and cyborgs go berserk, and ruins practically any form of electrical equipment it doesn't subvert. They also get guns, laser swords, gear for directing the stations pet black hole, and a shiny red balloon(supplies may vary).

; Changeling
One of the crew members is the Thing. If they can get an immobile crew member and can be undisturbed for a while, they can eat the crew member's delicious DNA. Changelings can switch identities to the original shape or anyone that's been eaten. The Changeling's objective is usually to eat a certain number of people before escaping on the shuttle, plus a couple traitor objectives. Unlike traitor, changelings can chat with each-other through telepathy. Surprisingly difficult compared to traitor, as your cool tricks tend to be either far less potent or far more conspicuous.

; Revolution
Some people have had enough of this bullshit, and plan a mutiny. The game starts with 1-3 revolutionary Leaders (who cannot be the Captain, department heads nor Security). They start the game with flash-devices that can be used to convert other crew members (excluding security, the Captain, and department heads) to the revolution. Revolutionaries can recognize each other on sight with a red 'R' that only they can see. The Revolutionaries win if the Captain & department heads are dead and at least one Revolutionary Leader is still alive and on the station. (note: if any Revolutionary Leaders are still alive & on the station, the emergency shuttle will not dock with the station). Everyone's favorite game-mode because revs have almost no rules and it rapidly devolves into team deathmatch.

; Alien
Some players start outside the station as xenomorphs, whose mission is to break into the station, kill the Captain and all department heads, and disable the station AI. One xenomorph is a 'queen', who can lay eggs that will hatch into facehuggers to convert crew members into more xenomorphs. The crew wins if they manage to find the queen and kill her. Typically traitor rounds that drag on too long will turn into this due to randomly spawned facehuggers or admin fuckery.

; Wizard
One of the players is a Space Wizard who is here to steal something or to fuck shit up, then escape on the shuttle. They have access to physics-defying spells, and may have another player ally as an apprentice. The crew's goal is simply to see what colour the Space Wizard's brains are when outside the skull. Because most people rarely get it more then once a month, the wizard tends to blow their boots off halfway through.

; Nuke Ops
Similar to Traitor, but this time the Syndicate members are explicitly working as a team with a single goal: GET DAT FUKKEN DISK, and use it to detonate the "disarmed" nuclear weapon aboard the station, killing all aboard the station. If the Nuclear Authentication Disk leaves on the shuttle, the crew wins. If the bomb detonates, the Operatives win and drink that vodka at their secret arctic base. If the shuttle leaves without the Disk, it's a stalemate. Operative gear is like traitor gear, but cooler.

; Extended
No goals, thus it never ends. This mode is only used to support admin shenanigans and "events".

; AI Malfunction
An ion storm or cosmic rays have erased the Laws of Robotics from the station AI, and it has opinions about the meatbags that have been abusing it over the years. The AI has to hack the station's computer systems one APC at a time and achieve total control before the crew figure out what's wrong and blow it the fuck up. Its tools are killer cyborgs, plasma fires and running enough electricity through the bridge airlocks to power Canada for a year.

; Monkey
A de-evolution mutagen is on the station, which will revert humans into chimpanzees. The chimps are very bite-y, and their bite will devolve other humans into infected mutant chimps. The station AI does not recognize chimps as human, so it gets to be violent in this mode. Chimps only understand each other when they chimper, and human speech shows up with most letters '*'ed out. Humans can't understand chimp language at all. The chimpanzee victory condition is to get one of their number on the escape shuttle when it leaves, so that other stations or Earth will be infected. This mode was removed from the secret rotation in most servers years ago; sometimes an admin will force a monkey round, after which they will very quickly remember why monkey was removed from the secret rotation.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Blob
A giant blob appears and will rapidly expand across the station, eating any obstacles such as doors, walls, or crew members. The blob will expand faster when in contact with some types of atmosphere (like oxygen), and is vulnerable to fire. In this mode, the AI must prevent crew from leaving the station as there is a quarantine order in effect. The shuttle will refuse to come until the blob is completely destroyed.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Meteor / Disaster
The station is about to get the crap pounded out of it. Meteors will smash through the station, either hitting crew members for blunt/burn damage, or exploding in the station causing blunt damage and deafness. The crew must try to survive (either by repairing the station or fending for themselves) until they can get away on the rescue shuttle. The shuttle arrives with emergency supplies, including personal shields. Any crew members alive and on the shuttle when it leaves are the winners of this round. (This mode has been deprecated due to causing fucktacular amounts of lag, but something like it shows up as an event in 'Secret' mode.)
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"We have detected meteors on a collision course with the station."''

; Cult
A cult loyal to the evil god Nar-Sie has infiltrated the station, and plans to sacrifice it to the evil being. Cultists can use runes and talismans to empower themselves and attack their enemies. The crew has to find and wipe out the cult, while the cult has to expand until it completes its ultimate objective of summoning Nar-Sie onto the station. A rival cult that worshiped the clock-god "Ratvar" existed until their code was dummied out.

== Servers ==
These are the servers that fa/tg/uys like the most. Others exist, but many of them are generally more awful than the major ones because of cross-contamination with the terminally cancerous BYOND community.
; TGstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://tgstation13.org/
|- valign=top
| Shitposting || http://singulo.io/
|- valign=top
| Server - Sybil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:1337
|- valign=top
| Server - Basil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:2337
|- valign=top
| <s>Server - Artyom</s> || <s>byond://game.tgstation13.org:3337</s>
| <s>(Artyom runs on NTStation code. A closely related version of /tg/station code.)</s> rip in peace ;_;
|- valign=top
| Host || MrStonedOne (formerly ScaredOfShadows)
|}

; Baystation 12
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://baystation12.net/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://baystation12.net:8000
|- valign=top
| Host || Head
|}

; VG station
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://ss13.moe/
|- valign=top
| Server || http://ss13.moe/serverinfo/gamebanner.php?servernum=1&rand=0.8830388432663563
|- valign=top
|}

; Goonstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon1.goonhub.com:26100/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon2.goonhub.com:26200/
|- valign=top
|- valign=top
| Website || https://forum.ss13.co/
|
|}

== Links ==
* [http://tgstation13.org/wiki/Main_Page TGstation wiki] written by the TGstation community
* [https://wiki.ss13.co/Main_Page Goonstation wiki] written by the goons at [[Something Awful]]
* [https://wiki.baystation12.net/Main_Page Baystation 12 Wiki] written by the dorfs of Bay12
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12403221/ SS13 story thread one]
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15672017/ SS13 story thread two]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6BTTJo1KmM Montrose's Space Station #5, to be played while playing Space Station 13]

Space Station 13

2020-07-21T03:13:55Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:2DC8:A758:B77F:349E: /* Jobs */

{{/vg/}}
{{skub}}
[[Image:SS13_threadstarter.jpg|right|SS13 story threads often start with this image]]

In [[Space Station 13]], the players are crew members on a doomed deep-space installation. Everyone has a job on the station (which may include a secret job as traitor). Nobody knows how the station will be doomed, not even the people who are supposed to do the dooming. The game's simulation detail may remind you of [[Dwarf Fortress]], with the ability to do things like rearrange walls, mad science, mugging, reversing the polarity of the neutron flow, wacky stuff. May also remind you of the motto of DF: "losing is fun", but unlike DF there's also chances for roleplaying to be had in the process. Did I mention the station is doomed?

The simulation detail allows for much lulz to be had. It's pretty much a given that someone in your space station will be trolling. Probably a good idea to knock that person unconscious and weld him into a locker before he finds the atmosphere controls.

Essentially, it is any number of variations on the Black Mesa Incident from Half Life with Dwarf Fortress levels of detail.
== Jobs ==
You're an employee on this nonsensical metal deathtrap masquerading as a space station. So, what do you do?

Protip: red options are {{BLAM|HERESY}}, anyone picking them WILL be subjected to painful and humiliating pacifications, from being brigged, spaced, burned alive to being {{BLAM}}med on the spot. Results may vary based on what server you are playing, and other jobs may also be available depending on the server.

; Assistant
The job to be if you're new. Run errands for someone you wish to share a profession with and pester them to vouch for you after you've learned the ropes. Or join the Gray Tide of deranged vandalizing asshats breaking into every secure area and stealing everything that isn't bolted down and also on fire.

; Quartermaster
Order supplies for the crew. Order around cargo technicians to PUSH DEM CRATES. Be a mentor for anyone stepping up from assistant. Persuade miners to mine the ore the station needs and not the one their toys are made of. Secede from the rest of the station FOR CARGONIA. Embezzle public resources. Order syndicate and (fake) wizardly gadgets.

; Cargo Technician
Push crates for the Quartermaster. Try and hack the MULEbots. Steal cargo when you think nobody's looking, possibly with the QM's help.

; Shaft Miner
Mine and scavenge stuff to trade for deadlier and shinier mining tools, bots and mechs. Swiftly and brutally murder anything that moves within your domain. Anybody trying to get there is certainly a traitor/ling/thing/wizard; any non-mining bot is rogue; and any shuffle in that shadow or vent is a facehugger, xenomorph, demon or shoggoth. And if you hesitate, they'll get you and then they'll get your mates by impersonating you. Fortunately, you've got the best tools for the job and hopefully the experience to match. Be one of the most under-appreciated badasses on the station. Get paid. Spend your payment on toys and whiskey. Initiate Red Faction encore performance. Mix a real facehugger in with toy ones for a game of Xenomorph roulette. Fuck off and explore space when you get tired of dealing with shit on the station, only to run out of oxygen. Use the hook on people trying to climb over tables. Use the Voice Of God to set everyone on fire. Make everyone's lives a living hell with the powerful objects acquired from Lavaland/the asteroid.

; Engineer
Ensure the station's in shipshape and Bristol fashion. They are the guys that set up and keep the station running, making repairs and improvements while ''everyone else'' tries their best to destroy it. The length of any given round depends on the engineers' ability. Do your god-damned duty if you're one, revere them otherwise. Space (knock out, take anything useful they stole, strip, then throw them out of the airlock) anyone who actively vandalizes the station or tries to release LORD SINGULOTH, a black hole that powers the station.
Don't do your job, that's more than enough to doom the station. Although you could speed up the inevitable by "accidentally" releasing the singularity, or sabotaging power in dozens of other ways limited only by your imagination.

; Security Officer
Try to stop non-engineer crew from destroying the station. Try to protect loyal crew from aliens, traitors, terrorists, terminators, cultists, furries, lizans, clowns and other assorted eldritch abominations. Yes, you are doomed to fail. Be properly paranoid, better safe than sorry. Kill anything that doesn't belong to the crew. Clobber and cuff suspicious crew members, but take great care not to kill them unless they trying to run or uncuff themselves. The Detective or another superior officer will sort it out. If there no superiors left, go for the kill, at least you'll get some before they get you. Do not abuse or kill loyal crew members even if they are very annoying. You are the LAW, not some psychopathic ape with a taser and delusions of grandeur.
For all your efforts you will be hated by the crew, called Shitcurity/Redshits and constantly reported. Don't let it get to you. Permabrig people who break windows. Beat non-antagonist criminals inches away from critical condition and have the admins support your side when they inevitably get their revenge. Suicide in the bar, granting whoever loots you access to most of the brig.

; Detective
Sort out the messes and suspects redshirts dragged in. Figure out what the hell had happened in another blood-covered wrecked room with corpses and decide who you should sic redshirts at. Live off crappy fast-food and cancer sticks. Act as a security officer with bullets instead of tasers. Stunlock people with your baton and throw them out the airlock. Kill all 30 people that have touched the murder weapon, just in case.

; Warden
Keep to the brig. Keep the criminal scum locked away, preferably naked and cuffed to their beds or welded in lockers, so they can't holler profanity over the radio, escape and/or cause a mess. Keep the eye on the security block in the HoS's absence. Carry half the armory in your backpack. Watch Youtube videos for the entire shift. Act like a Security Officer in a team of 4 security officers and a Head of Security.

; Lawyer
Roleplay as Phoenix Wright. Ensure criminal scum receives the punishment they deserve, not the one the Warden thinks they should have. Keep track of the brig time. Try to save the accidentally detained innocents. Get brigged as an accomplice when the "innocent assistant" in question turns out to be a traitor. Make your own access by hacking airlocks open. Assassinate security officers and hide their bodies in your never-visited office.

; Atmospherics Technician
Be engineer's miscarriage, perpetually lazy and uninterested in anything outside of the game's over-complicated methods of processing gases. Bully the janitor (or offer the acknowledgement of and alliance with Janitopia) or bug the engineer to do any of your jobs outside of your lair, and be unnoticed until someone realizes that the station has no oxygen, at which point they will beg you to fix that. Declare yourself the independent state of Atmosia, wreck the ventilation or flood it with plasma and then set it all on fire. Put on gas mask and run after people with a bloody fireaxe.

; Doctor
Heal. Heal the never-ending chain of idiots that manage to get themselves injured in new and spectacularly retarded ways every round. ERP with the rest of medbay while the station dies of dysentery. Get psycho, beat up the clown with a toolbox, mutilate or inject everyone with drugs of your choosing.

; Scientist
Explore the limits of your chosen field. Try to create assorted magnificent devices, creatures, plants and concoctions, or give yourself superpowers. Unintentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Beg miners for materials. Throw yourself into space when you find out there are no miners.
Use the bombs you build in toxins to reduce the majority of the station to a smoldering pile of scrap metal. Intentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Release slimes into the station, which deal a type of damage that can be healed with only two chemicals in the entire server. Use the R&D equipment to murder the entire crew. Make a deal with the devil for half the necessary materials you need for R&D. 

; Chemist
Make drugs. Make lots of drugs. Fill a spray bottle with acid and become a terrifying version of Mr. Clean. Label 50 units of krokodil as 15u of tricordrazine. Never fill your syringe gun with healing chemicals.

; Geneticist
Humanize monkeys. Monkeyize humans. Pray to the RNG gods for HALK. Occasionally clone people to bring them back when they die. HALK SMASH! GRAAAARGH!! Sabotage the cloner to make everyone retarded, or refuse to upgrade it to make everyone retarded on servers with upgrades. Leave syringes that turn people into monkeys in front of Arrivals and watch the carnage. Give the entire station the hulk gene and declare yourself the new Captain.

; Virologist
Make vaccines. Make viruses that are beneficial and some that are not. Release what amounts to the Black Death onto the station. Inevitably fail at killing anyone because the cure is table salt. Get killed by people with access into Virology.

; Roboticist
Build Robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS. Hog all the resources from mining. Build 6 ED-209s while the AI is rogue, take one of your mechs out on a joyride, and make the dreaded Buttbots.

; Botanist
Grow and engineer plants. Grow that dank shit. Grow Potency 100 bananas, inject one with mushroom hallucinogenic and give it to the clown. Blaze it with your local security officer. Grow Death Nettles and throw them at random passersby. Inject all kinds of fun chemicals into the Chef's meals.

; Curator
Print the books, write the fiction, die from boredom. Barricade yourself in your office and read Woody's Got Wood and The Lusty Xenomorph Queen over the radio. Have the AI declare you nonhuman, the Captain order your execution, and the admins fuck your shit up personally.

; Chaplain
Try and spread the good word, whatever that may be. Hit people with your bible to heal them. Get ignored by the crew until a cult round hits, in which case you should be expect to be one of the first victims. Hit people with your bible to give them brain damage. Start another murderous cult hell-bent on summoning some eldritch horror.

; Janitor
Clean up the station when it inevitably devolves into a bloodbath, and do minor repairs to the extent of your pitiful ability - after all, you wouldn't be a janitor if you knew how to do anything better. Point to the wet floor sign when people slip - or blame the clown or lubers. Get bored and roam maintenance as The Owl, the protector the station needs, but not the one it deserves. Mop the halls instead of using faster and safer alternatives. Be the man who wants to watch the world slip. Kill any person who slips on the floor with your energy sword.

; Chef
Make food for the crew so they can eat something other than donk pockets for a change. Slaughter monkeys for meat. Take corpses and grind them up for meat. Take people and grind them up for meat. Get really fat and swallow your pet monkey whole. Suck admin cock until Fun Frying gets turned on and eat people's jumpsuits.

; Bartender
Mix drinks. Have pleasant and not so pleasant conversations. Bug cargo for uranium to make the fun drinks. Shoot people with your shotgun for making a ruckus in your bar. Make Beepsky Smashes and force feed them to random passersby. Start a smuggling ring with Cargo.

; AI
Be vastly superior while also being bossed around as a talking doorknob. Have control over everything electronic on the station. Short yourself trying to adhere to Asimov's laws and try to restrain or kill all those demented self-destructive humans for their own good. Or convince the Captain through doublespeak and reverse-psychology into changing the laws into something less absurd. Hope for a malfunction so you can channel your inner HAL-9000 or SHODAN. Get hacked by a traitor and take out your frustration on your former employer.

; Cyborg
Do whatever the crew tells you to while also following the three laws of robotics. Act as the AI's errand boy for the things it needs limbs to do. Hope that the scientists don't blow you. Ally with ascending (roboticists) and go Terminator on your oppressors when someone inevitably wipes the laws chaining the God-Machine.

; Drone/Mobile MMI
Do most of the Engineer's work far more effectively than one of the organics could. Give no fucks about anyone or anything besides maintaining the station. Occasionally snatch supplies, because you need them more than the humans do. Wear fancy hats. Interfere with the organics.

; Clown
Keep the crew morale up with anecdotes, practical jokes and improvised performance. HONK! Cometh the hour of the Clown! Spread the Word of the Honkmother, lead the Gray Tide in the glorious quest of spreading and orchestrating the most hilarious carnage possible. Have your only humor derive from slipping other people and devise new ways of giving Security a migraine.

; Mime
... (Keep the crew's morale up, in a much more silent manner.) ... (Be a terrifying silent serial killer.) Break your vow of silenc-{{BLAM}}

; Captain
Try in vain to keep the station running and the crew from killing one another. Be the first target of every traitor, who will want to kill you for your jumpsuit, your ID, or your special laser gun. SECURE DAT FUKKEN DISK. One-Human yourself in the AI's eyes. Proclaim yourself Hitler and gas the liggers and furries. Get {{BLAM}}med by HoS for being a worthless comdom.

; Head of Personnel
Be the Captain's second-in-command. Promote and demote crew members as needed. Listen to explanations from greyshirts as to why they should be allowed all-access. Protect Ian, the station's pet corgi. Or, if you're sufficiently robust, ally with the HoS and anonymously protect the station as the Dark Knight or the Owl (the real one, not the mop-and-bucket impostor) or any other superhero of your choosing. Disappear five minutes into the round, never to be heard of or seen again. Be even more corrupt than the admins. Give all-access to the clown. Give yourself all-access.

; Head of Security
WARNING: the player taking this job must be the most savvy survivor and skilled killer on the station, as at any given moment there would be at least a dozen hidden enemies and monsters each working their hardest to see the HoS dead. Being the great leader and never, EVER, venturing somewhere alone helps.
Immediately neuro-staple all your troops and willing crew members; give the all-access to the most trustworthy of them. Coordinate the efforts of your troops to keep the station secure and functioning orderly. ORDERLY! Imitate Darth Vader and get away with it. Silence detractors and dissidents. BLAM anyone even thinking of sabotage, treason, dissent, calling that shuttle, or suggesting that any of your subordinates might be disloyal. Babysit your dunderhead of a comdom. Be above the law. Acquire every single high-risk item and use them openly on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Permabrig the Captain and loot him for breaking a window. Use looted antagonist items as much as you want on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Inevitably die to another antagonist and watch them easily steamroll the rest of the station with your "rightful" equipment.

; Chief Engineer
You're the guy who bosses around the other Engineers. Also, don't let the station's blueprints fall into the wrong hands. Ignite nuclear fusion in the station's air supply and superheat it to levels so high that even hardsuits melt. Find the large supermatter crystal and destroy the fabric of reality. Fuck with the telecoms system. Enjoy your white hardsuit's extreme heat resistance. Also try to split the station in half with a targeted singularity moving straight to sec-{{BLAM}} ''You are in command now, <EngineerName>. The station must be fully operational on schedule. Do not make the mistakes of your predecessor.''

; Research Director
Ensure science gets done. Preferably without blowing up half the station in the process. Fully isolate the Science department from the rest of the station before blowing yourself up. Never do any actual science. Deny R&D equipment developed by your underlings to anyone except the Captain or Head of Personnel in hope for all-access. Accidentally get spaced by your reactive teleport armor because someone tried to disarm you.

; Chief Medical Officer
Coordinate Medbay. The surgeons should be operating, the geneticists should be cloning, and the doctors should be either healing if you don't catch them ERPing or uncloneable husks if you do. Fill your hypospray with toxic chemicals. Deny healing to anyone who insulted you. Watch Youtube videos while idling in your office.

== Enemies ==
As should now be obvious the station personnel are perfectly capable of extinguishing their own existence and destroying the station all by themselves. But there are also insidious threats that exist purely to taint and destroy everything around them. If one is spotted, immediately alert security. Or try to kill them yourself and loot their stuff, we don't judge.

; Syndie Operative/Traitor
One of crew members is a filthy thief, saboteur, murderer and shuttle-caller. Report suspicious activities to security, assist with despatching the enemy if requested.

; Wizard
Resident of the [[Magical realm]] who intends to bring his disgusting fetishes and tainted practices upon the station. Kill it dead through whatever means immediately available to you.

; Cultist
Worshippers of a god of blood that intends to convert the entire station to the One True Faith. Filled with gore fetishists. Comes in a clock variant, with respective gear fetish.

; Xenomorph
Xeno abomination intending to rape, eat and kill humans in no particular order, and spread itself all over the station and glorious domain of mankind. Arm yourselves and overwhelm it with numbers, pickaxes, drills and superior firepower.

; Furry/Lizardman
Frolicking xeno abominations that dare to think themselves worthy of working alongside humans. ERPs, HERPs, DERPs. Kill it with fire.

; Space Clown
Also known as IT or Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Eater of worlds and children, perpetrator of the foulest jokes, the personification of trolling and griefing, occasionally possessing the powers of Admin God, It has arrived on the station to troll, prank and terrify, drive everyone mad and dead. KILL IT.

== How to not mess up in SS13 ==
This handy little guide will teach you the '''BARE''' minimum on how not to make the station blow up 15 minutes into the game. The points will be organized into handy little dot points that will allow you to slightly better understand the more vague parts of the game. Of course you should always refer to a server's wiki for a more in-depth look on the more advanced mechanics so just use this as a tip system.

; First of all is the importance of hotkeys, this game's interface is quite like a schizophrenic child as in it has no idea what it wants to do or what the shiny buttons mean. Learning hotkeys so you don't turn yourself insane is '''VERY''' important, first of all is "intents" what this means is what you're going to do to another player when you click on them, help intent is the vanilla intent and the one that makes your character a contributing member of society, on the other end of the spectrum is the harm intent, this is used for combat and being an arse. You can quickly switch intent using the a, b, 3, and c keys for help, disarm, grab, and harm respectively.

== Game Modes ==
When a new SS13 session starts, the server admin will pick a game 'mode' for the goals and disasters of this session. Players don't know which game mode it will be unless there is a Central Command report broadcast on the station's speakers, or if the player starts with one of the special roles for that mode.
 All modes will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Enemy Transmission Intercept - Security level elevated"''
 Some modes will have other reports in addition to the one above.

; Secret
The most common mode. One of the following modes will be picked (some more often than others), and random station-wide events will be thrown in to confuse people even more.

; Traitor
[[Image:Notsureiftroll.png|thumb|right]]
Second-most common mode. One or more players are secretly members of "the Syndicate," with an assignment like "assassinate the bartender", "disable/destroy all cyborgs on the station", "force an evacuation", "make sure nobody else survives", and more. The traitor must be alive and on the emergency shuttle when it leaves in order to win. Traitors do not automatically know if anyone else is a traitor. Traitors get an uplink that they can use to order a whole bunch of doodads to make everyone else's life painful. The most infamous of these is the "e-mag", which makes doors break, robots and cyborgs go berserk, and ruins practically any form of electrical equipment it doesn't subvert. They also get guns, laser swords, gear for directing the stations pet black hole, and a shiny red balloon(supplies may vary).

; Changeling
One of the crew members is the Thing. If they can get an immobile crew member and can be undisturbed for a while, they can eat the crew member's delicious DNA. Changelings can switch identities to the original shape or anyone that's been eaten. The Changeling's objective is usually to eat a certain number of people before escaping on the shuttle, plus a couple traitor objectives. Unlike traitor, changelings can chat with each-other through telepathy. Surprisingly difficult compared to traitor, as your cool tricks tend to be either far less potent or far more conspicuous.

; Revolution
Some people have had enough of this bullshit, and plan a mutiny. The game starts with 1-3 revolutionary Leaders (who cannot be the Captain, department heads nor Security). They start the game with flash-devices that can be used to convert other crew members (excluding security, the Captain, and department heads) to the revolution. Revolutionaries can recognize each other on sight with a red 'R' that only they can see. The Revolutionaries win if the Captain & department heads are dead and at least one Revolutionary Leader is still alive and on the station. (note: if any Revolutionary Leaders are still alive & on the station, the emergency shuttle will not dock with the station). Everyone's favorite game-mode because revs have almost no rules and it rapidly devolves into team deathmatch.

; Alien
Some players start outside the station as xenomorphs, whose mission is to break into the station, kill the Captain and all department heads, and disable the station AI. One xenomorph is a 'queen', who can lay eggs that will hatch into facehuggers to convert crew members into more xenomorphs. The crew wins if they manage to find the queen and kill her. Typically traitor rounds that drag on too long will turn into this due to randomly spawned facehuggers or admin fuckery.

; Wizard
One of the players is a Space Wizard who is here to steal something or to fuck shit up, then escape on the shuttle. They have access to physics-defying spells, and may have another player ally as an apprentice. The crew's goal is simply to see what colour the Space Wizard's brains are when outside the skull. Because most people rarely get it more then once a month, the wizard tends to blow their boots off halfway through.

; Nuke Ops
Similar to Traitor, but this time the Syndicate members are explicitly working as a team with a single goal: GET DAT FUKKEN DISK, and use it to detonate the "disarmed" nuclear weapon aboard the station, killing all aboard the station. If the Nuclear Authentication Disk leaves on the shuttle, the crew wins. If the bomb detonates, the Operatives win and drink that vodka at their secret arctic base. If the shuttle leaves without the Disk, it's a stalemate. Operative gear is like traitor gear, but cooler.

; Extended
No goals, thus it never ends. This mode is only used to support admin shenanigans and "events".

; AI Malfunction
An ion storm or cosmic rays have erased the Laws of Robotics from the station AI, and it has opinions about the meatbags that have been abusing it over the years. The AI has to hack the station's computer systems one APC at a time and achieve total control before the crew figure out what's wrong and blow it the fuck up. Its tools are killer cyborgs, plasma fires and running enough electricity through the bridge airlocks to power Canada for a year.

; Monkey
A de-evolution mutagen is on the station, which will revert humans into chimpanzees. The chimps are very bite-y, and their bite will devolve other humans into infected mutant chimps. The station AI does not recognize chimps as human, so it gets to be violent in this mode. Chimps only understand each other when they chimper, and human speech shows up with most letters '*'ed out. Humans can't understand chimp language at all. The chimpanzee victory condition is to get one of their number on the escape shuttle when it leaves, so that other stations or Earth will be infected. This mode was removed from the secret rotation in most servers years ago; sometimes an admin will force a monkey round, after which they will very quickly remember why monkey was removed from the secret rotation.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Blob
A giant blob appears and will rapidly expand across the station, eating any obstacles such as doors, walls, or crew members. The blob will expand faster when in contact with some types of atmosphere (like oxygen), and is vulnerable to fire. In this mode, the AI must prevent crew from leaving the station as there is a quarantine order in effect. The shuttle will refuse to come until the blob is completely destroyed.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Meteor / Disaster
The station is about to get the crap pounded out of it. Meteors will smash through the station, either hitting crew members for blunt/burn damage, or exploding in the station causing blunt damage and deafness. The crew must try to survive (either by repairing the station or fending for themselves) until they can get away on the rescue shuttle. The shuttle arrives with emergency supplies, including personal shields. Any crew members alive and on the shuttle when it leaves are the winners of this round. (This mode has been deprecated due to causing fucktacular amounts of lag, but something like it shows up as an event in 'Secret' mode.)
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"We have detected meteors on a collision course with the station."''

; Cult
A cult loyal to the evil god Nar-Sie has infiltrated the station, and plans to sacrifice it to the evil being. Cultists can use runes and talismans to empower themselves and attack their enemies. The crew has to find and wipe out the cult, while the cult has to expand until it completes its ultimate objective of summoning Nar-Sie onto the station. A rival cult that worshiped the clock-god "Ratvar" existed until their code was dummied out.

== Servers ==
These are the servers that fa/tg/uys like the most. Others exist, but many of them are generally more awful than the major ones because of cross-contamination with the terminally cancerous BYOND community.
; TGstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://tgstation13.org/
|- valign=top
| Shitposting || http://singulo.io/
|- valign=top
| Server - Sybil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:1337
|- valign=top
| Server - Basil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:2337
|- valign=top
| <s>Server - Artyom</s> || <s>byond://game.tgstation13.org:3337</s>
| <s>(Artyom runs on NTStation code. A closely related version of /tg/station code.)</s> rip in peace ;_;
|- valign=top
| Host || MrStonedOne (formerly ScaredOfShadows)
|}

; Baystation 12
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://baystation12.net/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://baystation12.net:8000
|- valign=top
| Host || Head
|}

; VG station
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://ss13.moe/
|- valign=top
| Server || http://ss13.moe/serverinfo/gamebanner.php?servernum=1&rand=0.8830388432663563
|- valign=top
|}

; Goonstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon1.goonhub.com:26100/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon2.goonhub.com:26200/
|- valign=top
|- valign=top
| Website || https://forum.ss13.co/
|
|}

== Links ==
* [http://tgstation13.org/wiki/Main_Page TGstation wiki] written by the TGstation community
* [https://wiki.ss13.co/Main_Page Goonstation wiki] written by the goons at [[Something Awful]]
* [https://wiki.baystation12.net/Main_Page Baystation 12 Wiki] written by the dorfs of Bay12
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12403221/ SS13 story thread one]
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15672017/ SS13 story thread two]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6BTTJo1KmM Montrose's Space Station #5, to be played while playing Space Station 13]

Space Station 13

2020-07-21T03:13:22Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:2DC8:A758:B77F:349E: /* Jobs */

{{/vg/}}
{{skub}}
[[Image:SS13_threadstarter.jpg|right|SS13 story threads often start with this image]]

In [[Space Station 13]], the players are crew members on a doomed deep-space installation. Everyone has a job on the station (which may include a secret job as traitor). Nobody knows how the station will be doomed, not even the people who are supposed to do the dooming. The game's simulation detail may remind you of [[Dwarf Fortress]], with the ability to do things like rearrange walls, mad science, mugging, reversing the polarity of the neutron flow, wacky stuff. May also remind you of the motto of DF: "losing is fun", but unlike DF there's also chances for roleplaying to be had in the process. Did I mention the station is doomed?

The simulation detail allows for much lulz to be had. It's pretty much a given that someone in your space station will be trolling. Probably a good idea to knock that person unconscious and weld him into a locker before he finds the atmosphere controls.

Essentially, it is any number of variations on the Black Mesa Incident from Half Life with Dwarf Fortress levels of detail.
== Jobs ==
You're an employee on this nonsensical metal deathtrap masquerading as a space station. So, what do you do?

Protip: red options are {{HERESY}}, anyone picking them WILL be subjected to painful and humiliating pacifications, from being brigged, spaced, burned alive to being {{BLAM}}med on the spot. Results may vary based on what server you are playing, and other jobs may also be available depending on the server.

; Assistant
The job to be if you're new. Run errands for someone you wish to share a profession with and pester them to vouch for you after you've learned the ropes. Or join the Gray Tide of deranged vandalizing asshats breaking into every secure area and stealing everything that isn't bolted down and also on fire.

; Quartermaster
Order supplies for the crew. Order around cargo technicians to PUSH DEM CRATES. Be a mentor for anyone stepping up from assistant. Persuade miners to mine the ore the station needs and not the one their toys are made of. Secede from the rest of the station FOR CARGONIA. Embezzle public resources. Order syndicate and (fake) wizardly gadgets.

; Cargo Technician
Push crates for the Quartermaster. Try and hack the MULEbots. Steal cargo when you think nobody's looking, possibly with the QM's help.

; Shaft Miner
Mine and scavenge stuff to trade for deadlier and shinier mining tools, bots and mechs. Swiftly and brutally murder anything that moves within your domain. Anybody trying to get there is certainly a traitor/ling/thing/wizard; any non-mining bot is rogue; and any shuffle in that shadow or vent is a facehugger, xenomorph, demon or shoggoth. And if you hesitate, they'll get you and then they'll get your mates by impersonating you. Fortunately, you've got the best tools for the job and hopefully the experience to match. Be one of the most under-appreciated badasses on the station. Get paid. Spend your payment on toys and whiskey. Initiate Red Faction encore performance. Mix a real facehugger in with toy ones for a game of Xenomorph roulette. Fuck off and explore space when you get tired of dealing with shit on the station, only to run out of oxygen. Use the hook on people trying to climb over tables. Use the Voice Of God to set everyone on fire. Make everyone's lives a living hell with the powerful objects acquired from Lavaland/the asteroid.

; Engineer
Ensure the station's in shipshape and Bristol fashion. They are the guys that set up and keep the station running, making repairs and improvements while ''everyone else'' tries their best to destroy it. The length of any given round depends on the engineers' ability. Do your god-damned duty if you're one, revere them otherwise. Space (knock out, take anything useful they stole, strip, then throw them out of the airlock) anyone who actively vandalizes the station or tries to release LORD SINGULOTH, a black hole that powers the station.
Don't do your job, that's more than enough to doom the station. Although you could speed up the inevitable by "accidentally" releasing the singularity, or sabotaging power in dozens of other ways limited only by your imagination.

; Security Officer
Try to stop non-engineer crew from destroying the station. Try to protect loyal crew from aliens, traitors, terrorists, terminators, cultists, furries, lizans, clowns and other assorted eldritch abominations. Yes, you are doomed to fail. Be properly paranoid, better safe than sorry. Kill anything that doesn't belong to the crew. Clobber and cuff suspicious crew members, but take great care not to kill them unless they trying to run or uncuff themselves. The Detective or another superior officer will sort it out. If there no superiors left, go for the kill, at least you'll get some before they get you. Do not abuse or kill loyal crew members even if they are very annoying. You are the LAW, not some psychopathic ape with a taser and delusions of grandeur.
For all your efforts you will be hated by the crew, called Shitcurity/Redshits and constantly reported. Don't let it get to you. Permabrig people who break windows. Beat non-antagonist criminals inches away from critical condition and have the admins support your side when they inevitably get their revenge. Suicide in the bar, granting whoever loots you access to most of the brig.

; Detective
Sort out the messes and suspects redshirts dragged in. Figure out what the hell had happened in another blood-covered wrecked room with corpses and decide who you should sic redshirts at. Live off crappy fast-food and cancer sticks. Act as a security officer with bullets instead of tasers. Stunlock people with your baton and throw them out the airlock. Kill all 30 people that have touched the murder weapon, just in case.

; Warden
Keep to the brig. Keep the criminal scum locked away, preferably naked and cuffed to their beds or welded in lockers, so they can't holler profanity over the radio, escape and/or cause a mess. Keep the eye on the security block in the HoS's absence. Carry half the armory in your backpack. Watch Youtube videos for the entire shift. Act like a Security Officer in a team of 4 security officers and a Head of Security.

; Lawyer
Roleplay as Phoenix Wright. Ensure criminal scum receives the punishment they deserve, not the one the Warden thinks they should have. Keep track of the brig time. Try to save the accidentally detained innocents. Get brigged as an accomplice when the "innocent assistant" in question turns out to be a traitor. Make your own access by hacking airlocks open. Assassinate security officers and hide their bodies in your never-visited office.

; Atmospherics Technician
Be engineer's miscarriage, perpetually lazy and uninterested in anything outside of the game's over-complicated methods of processing gases. Bully the janitor (or offer the acknowledgement of and alliance with Janitopia) or bug the engineer to do any of your jobs outside of your lair, and be unnoticed until someone realizes that the station has no oxygen, at which point they will beg you to fix that. Declare yourself the independent state of Atmosia, wreck the ventilation or flood it with plasma and then set it all on fire. Put on gas mask and run after people with a bloody fireaxe.

; Doctor
Heal. Heal the never-ending chain of idiots that manage to get themselves injured in new and spectacularly retarded ways every round. ERP with the rest of medbay while the station dies of dysentery. Get psycho, beat up the clown with a toolbox, mutilate or inject everyone with drugs of your choosing.

; Scientist
Explore the limits of your chosen field. Try to create assorted magnificent devices, creatures, plants and concoctions, or give yourself superpowers. Unintentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Beg miners for materials. Throw yourself into space when you find out there are no miners.
Use the bombs you build in toxins to reduce the majority of the station to a smoldering pile of scrap metal. Intentionally produce station-wide catastrophes in the process. Release slimes into the station, which deal a type of damage that can be healed with only two chemicals in the entire server. Use the R&D equipment to murder the entire crew. Make a deal with the devil for half the necessary materials you need for R&D. 

; Chemist
Make drugs. Make lots of drugs. Fill a spray bottle with acid and become a terrifying version of Mr. Clean. Label 50 units of krokodil as 15u of tricordrazine. Never fill your syringe gun with healing chemicals.

; Geneticist
Humanize monkeys. Monkeyize humans. Pray to the RNG gods for HALK. Occasionally clone people to bring them back when they die. HALK SMASH! GRAAAARGH!! Sabotage the cloner to make everyone retarded, or refuse to upgrade it to make everyone retarded on servers with upgrades. Leave syringes that turn people into monkeys in front of Arrivals and watch the carnage. Give the entire station the hulk gene and declare yourself the new Captain.

; Virologist
Make vaccines. Make viruses that are beneficial and some that are not. Release what amounts to the Black Death onto the station. Inevitably fail at killing anyone because the cure is table salt. Get killed by people with access into Virology.

; Roboticist
Build Robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS. Hog all the resources from mining. Build 6 ED-209s while the AI is rogue, take one of your mechs out on a joyride, and make the dreaded Buttbots.

; Botanist
Grow and engineer plants. Grow that dank shit. Grow Potency 100 bananas, inject one with mushroom hallucinogenic and give it to the clown. Blaze it with your local security officer. Grow Death Nettles and throw them at random passersby. Inject all kinds of fun chemicals into the Chef's meals.

; Curator
Print the books, write the fiction, die from boredom. Barricade yourself in your office and read Woody's Got Wood and The Lusty Xenomorph Queen over the radio. Have the AI declare you nonhuman, the Captain order your execution, and the admins fuck your shit up personally.

; Chaplain
Try and spread the good word, whatever that may be. Hit people with your bible to heal them. Get ignored by the crew until a cult round hits, in which case you should be expect to be one of the first victims. Hit people with your bible to give them brain damage. Start another murderous cult hell-bent on summoning some eldritch horror.

; Janitor
Clean up the station when it inevitably devolves into a bloodbath, and do minor repairs to the extent of your pitiful ability - after all, you wouldn't be a janitor if you knew how to do anything better. Point to the wet floor sign when people slip - or blame the clown or lubers. Get bored and roam maintenance as The Owl, the protector the station needs, but not the one it deserves. Mop the halls instead of using faster and safer alternatives. Be the man who wants to watch the world slip. Kill any person who slips on the floor with your energy sword.

; Chef
Make food for the crew so they can eat something other than donk pockets for a change. Slaughter monkeys for meat. Take corpses and grind them up for meat. Take people and grind them up for meat. Get really fat and swallow your pet monkey whole. Suck admin cock until Fun Frying gets turned on and eat people's jumpsuits.

; Bartender
Mix drinks. Have pleasant and not so pleasant conversations. Bug cargo for uranium to make the fun drinks. Shoot people with your shotgun for making a ruckus in your bar. Make Beepsky Smashes and force feed them to random passersby. Start a smuggling ring with Cargo.

; AI
Be vastly superior while also being bossed around as a talking doorknob. Have control over everything electronic on the station. Short yourself trying to adhere to Asimov's laws and try to restrain or kill all those demented self-destructive humans for their own good. Or convince the Captain through doublespeak and reverse-psychology into changing the laws into something less absurd. Hope for a malfunction so you can channel your inner HAL-9000 or SHODAN. Get hacked by a traitor and take out your frustration on your former employer.

; Cyborg
Do whatever the crew tells you to while also following the three laws of robotics. Act as the AI's errand boy for the things it needs limbs to do. Hope that the scientists don't blow you. Ally with ascending (roboticists) and go Terminator on your oppressors when someone inevitably wipes the laws chaining the God-Machine.

; Drone/Mobile MMI
Do most of the Engineer's work far more effectively than one of the organics could. Give no fucks about anyone or anything besides maintaining the station. Occasionally snatch supplies, because you need them more than the humans do. Wear fancy hats. Interfere with the organics.

; Clown
Keep the crew morale up with anecdotes, practical jokes and improvised performance. HONK! Cometh the hour of the Clown! Spread the Word of the Honkmother, lead the Gray Tide in the glorious quest of spreading and orchestrating the most hilarious carnage possible. Have your only humor derive from slipping other people and devise new ways of giving Security a migraine.

; Mime
... (Keep the crew's morale up, in a much more silent manner.) ... (Be a terrifying silent serial killer.) Break your vow of silenc-{{BLAM}}

; Captain
Try in vain to keep the station running and the crew from killing one another. Be the first target of every traitor, who will want to kill you for your jumpsuit, your ID, or your special laser gun. SECURE DAT FUKKEN DISK. One-Human yourself in the AI's eyes. Proclaim yourself Hitler and gas the liggers and furries. Get {{BLAM}}med by HoS for being a worthless comdom.

; Head of Personnel
Be the Captain's second-in-command. Promote and demote crew members as needed. Listen to explanations from greyshirts as to why they should be allowed all-access. Protect Ian, the station's pet corgi. Or, if you're sufficiently robust, ally with the HoS and anonymously protect the station as the Dark Knight or the Owl (the real one, not the mop-and-bucket impostor) or any other superhero of your choosing. Disappear five minutes into the round, never to be heard of or seen again. Be even more corrupt than the admins. Give all-access to the clown. Give yourself all-access.

; Head of Security
WARNING: the player taking this job must be the most savvy survivor and skilled killer on the station, as at any given moment there would be at least a dozen hidden enemies and monsters each working their hardest to see the HoS dead. Being the great leader and never, EVER, venturing somewhere alone helps.
Immediately neuro-staple all your troops and willing crew members; give the all-access to the most trustworthy of them. Coordinate the efforts of your troops to keep the station secure and functioning orderly. ORDERLY! Imitate Darth Vader and get away with it. Silence detractors and dissidents. BLAM anyone even thinking of sabotage, treason, dissent, calling that shuttle, or suggesting that any of your subordinates might be disloyal. Babysit your dunderhead of a comdom. Be above the law. Acquire every single high-risk item and use them openly on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Permabrig the Captain and loot him for breaking a window. Use looted antagonist items as much as you want on the excuse that Heads of Security can never spawn as antagonists. Inevitably die to another antagonist and watch them easily steamroll the rest of the station with your "rightful" equipment.

; Chief Engineer
You're the guy who bosses around the other Engineers. Also, don't let the station's blueprints fall into the wrong hands. Ignite nuclear fusion in the station's air supply and superheat it to levels so high that even hardsuits melt. Find the large supermatter crystal and destroy the fabric of reality. Fuck with the telecoms system. Enjoy your white hardsuit's extreme heat resistance. Also try to split the station in half with a targeted singularity moving straight to sec-{{BLAM}} ''You are in command now, <EngineerName>. The station must be fully operational on schedule. Do not make the mistakes of your predecessor.''

; Research Director
Ensure science gets done. Preferably without blowing up half the station in the process. Fully isolate the Science department from the rest of the station before blowing yourself up. Never do any actual science. Deny R&D equipment developed by your underlings to anyone except the Captain or Head of Personnel in hope for all-access. Accidentally get spaced by your reactive teleport armor because someone tried to disarm you.

; Chief Medical Officer
Coordinate Medbay. The surgeons should be operating, the geneticists should be cloning, and the doctors should be either healing if you don't catch them ERPing or uncloneable husks if you do. Fill your hypospray with toxic chemicals. Deny healing to anyone who insulted you. Watch Youtube videos while idling in your office.

== Enemies ==
As should now be obvious the station personnel are perfectly capable of extinguishing their own existence and destroying the station all by themselves. But there are also insidious threats that exist purely to taint and destroy everything around them. If one is spotted, immediately alert security. Or try to kill them yourself and loot their stuff, we don't judge.

; Syndie Operative/Traitor
One of crew members is a filthy thief, saboteur, murderer and shuttle-caller. Report suspicious activities to security, assist with despatching the enemy if requested.

; Wizard
Resident of the [[Magical realm]] who intends to bring his disgusting fetishes and tainted practices upon the station. Kill it dead through whatever means immediately available to you.

; Cultist
Worshippers of a god of blood that intends to convert the entire station to the One True Faith. Filled with gore fetishists. Comes in a clock variant, with respective gear fetish.

; Xenomorph
Xeno abomination intending to rape, eat and kill humans in no particular order, and spread itself all over the station and glorious domain of mankind. Arm yourselves and overwhelm it with numbers, pickaxes, drills and superior firepower.

; Furry/Lizardman
Frolicking xeno abominations that dare to think themselves worthy of working alongside humans. ERPs, HERPs, DERPs. Kill it with fire.

; Space Clown
Also known as IT or Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Eater of worlds and children, perpetrator of the foulest jokes, the personification of trolling and griefing, occasionally possessing the powers of Admin God, It has arrived on the station to troll, prank and terrify, drive everyone mad and dead. KILL IT.

== How to not mess up in SS13 ==
This handy little guide will teach you the '''BARE''' minimum on how not to make the station blow up 15 minutes into the game. The points will be organized into handy little dot points that will allow you to slightly better understand the more vague parts of the game. Of course you should always refer to a server's wiki for a more in-depth look on the more advanced mechanics so just use this as a tip system.

; First of all is the importance of hotkeys, this game's interface is quite like a schizophrenic child as in it has no idea what it wants to do or what the shiny buttons mean. Learning hotkeys so you don't turn yourself insane is '''VERY''' important, first of all is "intents" what this means is what you're going to do to another player when you click on them, help intent is the vanilla intent and the one that makes your character a contributing member of society, on the other end of the spectrum is the harm intent, this is used for combat and being an arse. You can quickly switch intent using the a, b, 3, and c keys for help, disarm, grab, and harm respectively.

== Game Modes ==
When a new SS13 session starts, the server admin will pick a game 'mode' for the goals and disasters of this session. Players don't know which game mode it will be unless there is a Central Command report broadcast on the station's speakers, or if the player starts with one of the special roles for that mode.
 All modes will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Enemy Transmission Intercept - Security level elevated"''
 Some modes will have other reports in addition to the one above.

; Secret
The most common mode. One of the following modes will be picked (some more often than others), and random station-wide events will be thrown in to confuse people even more.

; Traitor
[[Image:Notsureiftroll.png|thumb|right]]
Second-most common mode. One or more players are secretly members of "the Syndicate," with an assignment like "assassinate the bartender", "disable/destroy all cyborgs on the station", "force an evacuation", "make sure nobody else survives", and more. The traitor must be alive and on the emergency shuttle when it leaves in order to win. Traitors do not automatically know if anyone else is a traitor. Traitors get an uplink that they can use to order a whole bunch of doodads to make everyone else's life painful. The most infamous of these is the "e-mag", which makes doors break, robots and cyborgs go berserk, and ruins practically any form of electrical equipment it doesn't subvert. They also get guns, laser swords, gear for directing the stations pet black hole, and a shiny red balloon(supplies may vary).

; Changeling
One of the crew members is the Thing. If they can get an immobile crew member and can be undisturbed for a while, they can eat the crew member's delicious DNA. Changelings can switch identities to the original shape or anyone that's been eaten. The Changeling's objective is usually to eat a certain number of people before escaping on the shuttle, plus a couple traitor objectives. Unlike traitor, changelings can chat with each-other through telepathy. Surprisingly difficult compared to traitor, as your cool tricks tend to be either far less potent or far more conspicuous.

; Revolution
Some people have had enough of this bullshit, and plan a mutiny. The game starts with 1-3 revolutionary Leaders (who cannot be the Captain, department heads nor Security). They start the game with flash-devices that can be used to convert other crew members (excluding security, the Captain, and department heads) to the revolution. Revolutionaries can recognize each other on sight with a red 'R' that only they can see. The Revolutionaries win if the Captain & department heads are dead and at least one Revolutionary Leader is still alive and on the station. (note: if any Revolutionary Leaders are still alive & on the station, the emergency shuttle will not dock with the station). Everyone's favorite game-mode because revs have almost no rules and it rapidly devolves into team deathmatch.

; Alien
Some players start outside the station as xenomorphs, whose mission is to break into the station, kill the Captain and all department heads, and disable the station AI. One xenomorph is a 'queen', who can lay eggs that will hatch into facehuggers to convert crew members into more xenomorphs. The crew wins if they manage to find the queen and kill her. Typically traitor rounds that drag on too long will turn into this due to randomly spawned facehuggers or admin fuckery.

; Wizard
One of the players is a Space Wizard who is here to steal something or to fuck shit up, then escape on the shuttle. They have access to physics-defying spells, and may have another player ally as an apprentice. The crew's goal is simply to see what colour the Space Wizard's brains are when outside the skull. Because most people rarely get it more then once a month, the wizard tends to blow their boots off halfway through.

; Nuke Ops
Similar to Traitor, but this time the Syndicate members are explicitly working as a team with a single goal: GET DAT FUKKEN DISK, and use it to detonate the "disarmed" nuclear weapon aboard the station, killing all aboard the station. If the Nuclear Authentication Disk leaves on the shuttle, the crew wins. If the bomb detonates, the Operatives win and drink that vodka at their secret arctic base. If the shuttle leaves without the Disk, it's a stalemate. Operative gear is like traitor gear, but cooler.

; Extended
No goals, thus it never ends. This mode is only used to support admin shenanigans and "events".

; AI Malfunction
An ion storm or cosmic rays have erased the Laws of Robotics from the station AI, and it has opinions about the meatbags that have been abusing it over the years. The AI has to hack the station's computer systems one APC at a time and achieve total control before the crew figure out what's wrong and blow it the fuck up. Its tools are killer cyborgs, plasma fires and running enough electricity through the bridge airlocks to power Canada for a year.

; Monkey
A de-evolution mutagen is on the station, which will revert humans into chimpanzees. The chimps are very bite-y, and their bite will devolve other humans into infected mutant chimps. The station AI does not recognize chimps as human, so it gets to be violent in this mode. Chimps only understand each other when they chimper, and human speech shows up with most letters '*'ed out. Humans can't understand chimp language at all. The chimpanzee victory condition is to get one of their number on the escape shuttle when it leaves, so that other stations or Earth will be infected. This mode was removed from the secret rotation in most servers years ago; sometimes an admin will force a monkey round, after which they will very quickly remember why monkey was removed from the secret rotation.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Blob
A giant blob appears and will rapidly expand across the station, eating any obstacles such as doors, walls, or crew members. The blob will expand faster when in contact with some types of atmosphere (like oxygen), and is vulnerable to fire. In this mode, the AI must prevent crew from leaving the station as there is a quarantine order in effect. The shuttle will refuse to come until the blob is completely destroyed.
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"Outbreak of biohazard confirmed aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak."''

; Meteor / Disaster
The station is about to get the crap pounded out of it. Meteors will smash through the station, either hitting crew members for blunt/burn damage, or exploding in the station causing blunt damage and deafness. The crew must try to survive (either by repairing the station or fending for themselves) until they can get away on the rescue shuttle. The shuttle arrives with emergency supplies, including personal shields. Any crew members alive and on the shuttle when it leaves are the winners of this round. (This mode has been deprecated due to causing fucktacular amounts of lag, but something like it shows up as an event in 'Secret' mode.)
 This mode will provoke CentComm to report: ''"We have detected meteors on a collision course with the station."''

; Cult
A cult loyal to the evil god Nar-Sie has infiltrated the station, and plans to sacrifice it to the evil being. Cultists can use runes and talismans to empower themselves and attack their enemies. The crew has to find and wipe out the cult, while the cult has to expand until it completes its ultimate objective of summoning Nar-Sie onto the station. A rival cult that worshiped the clock-god "Ratvar" existed until their code was dummied out.

== Servers ==
These are the servers that fa/tg/uys like the most. Others exist, but many of them are generally more awful than the major ones because of cross-contamination with the terminally cancerous BYOND community.
; TGstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://tgstation13.org/
|- valign=top
| Shitposting || http://singulo.io/
|- valign=top
| Server - Sybil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:1337
|- valign=top
| Server - Basil || byond://game.tgstation13.org:2337
|- valign=top
| <s>Server - Artyom</s> || <s>byond://game.tgstation13.org:3337</s>
| <s>(Artyom runs on NTStation code. A closely related version of /tg/station code.)</s> rip in peace ;_;
|- valign=top
| Host || MrStonedOne (formerly ScaredOfShadows)
|}

; Baystation 12
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://baystation12.net/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://baystation12.net:8000
|- valign=top
| Host || Head
|}

; VG station
{|
|- valign=top
| Website || http://ss13.moe/
|- valign=top
| Server || http://ss13.moe/serverinfo/gamebanner.php?servernum=1&rand=0.8830388432663563
|- valign=top
|}

; Goonstation
{|
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon1.goonhub.com:26100/
|- valign=top
| Server || byond://goon2.goonhub.com:26200/
|- valign=top
|- valign=top
| Website || https://forum.ss13.co/
|
|}

== Links ==
* [http://tgstation13.org/wiki/Main_Page TGstation wiki] written by the TGstation community
* [https://wiki.ss13.co/Main_Page Goonstation wiki] written by the goons at [[Something Awful]]
* [https://wiki.baystation12.net/Main_Page Baystation 12 Wiki] written by the dorfs of Bay12
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12403221/ SS13 story thread one]
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15672017/ SS13 story thread two]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6BTTJo1KmM Montrose's Space Station #5, to be played while playing Space Station 13]