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Doom

2019-12-10T08:03:33Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:6978:FA3B:1A12:D596: /* Doom 4 (aka DOOM aka DOOD aka Brutal Doom HD) */

{{/vg/}}
{{Oldschool}}
{{awesome}}
{{Cleanup}}
[[File:Doom cover poster.jpeg|thumb|If you don't already have the first level's music in your head, you may be on the wrong site.]]
{{topquote|Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combatting the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...|[[Discworld|Terry Pratchett]]}}

The granddaddy of the first person shooter, the original ass-kicking demon-slaying 3D slaughterfest, '''''Doom''''' is a franchise that demands respect even in the hallowed halls of /tg/. It was actually inspired by a [[Dungeons & Dragons]] campaign played by the founders of id Software; John Romero had given a demon lord the key to overrunning the material plane in exchange for a magic [[Katanas are Underpowered in d20|katana]] because he's an edgy little bitch like that, and John Carmack (the DM) decided it made a good premise for their new 3D game. The katana in question would later be used in Romero's game ''Daikatana'', which was a total failure for reasons that aren't important enough to go over right now.

The plot? What do you think this is, [[Fags of 4chan#Board Fags|urchin?]] Here's your plot: you are a Space Marine (no, not the 40K guy, a jumped-up soldier who is sent to fight on other planets, so closer to the [[Imperial Guard]]) stationed on Mars. Somehow, demons break through into our reality and slaughter everyone else. Your job? Fight your way to where, you hope, there's a ride off of this rock, and make bloody mincemeat out of everything standing between you and salvation. Standing in your way are armies of zombified fellow marines and eggheads, fireball-tossing imps, hulking flesh-eating demons, cyborg-demon monstrosities, and various other hell-spawned nasties who want to kill you horribly. Good luck. You'll need it...

Although not the very ''first'' of the FPS genre (even its predecessor, [[Wolfenstein]] 3D, wasn't the first, as the history of the genre goes back all the way into 70's), Doom was definitive to the genre, so much so that "Doom Clone" was the standard nickname for many years afterwards. People are still playing it and making it even more awesome with [[Homebrew|their own custom modifications]] 24 years later, which isn't something you hear that often outside of /tg/; this is one of the main reasons why the franchise is so well-respected.

Fun fact: that iconic Doom monster, the Cacodemon, was actually inspired by the artwork for an Astral Dreadnought on the cover of the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] 1st edition [[Manual of the Planes]] splatbook. Also relevant to /tg/ is that Sandy Petersen, co-designer of [[Ghostbusters RPG]], creator of [[Call of Cthulhu]], and author of some [[RuneQuest]] stuff, worked on the game. He designed some levels (more in the sequel) and made some contributions to the monster design.

==Classic DOOM (aka The Good Shit)==
{{topquote|Welcome to DOOM, a lightning-fast virtual reality adventure where you're the toughest space trooper ever to suck vacuum. Your mission is to shoot your way through a monster-infested holocaust. Living to tell the tale if possible.|README.TXT, Doom 1.8 shareware}}
The original Doom was fast-paced and bloody compared to what came before, but wasn't afraid to vary the pace with more labyrinthine levels or make you shit your pants by dropping you into a crowd of demons when you least expected it. (Fun fact No. 2: The extra levels included in the full version of Doom were built by the same guy who wrote [[Call of Cthulhu]] in just 10 weeks.) Doom II on the other hand was a circle-strafing explosion-rich gorefest, and is what basically everyone thinks of when they think of both Doom and 90s FPS gameplay in general. Plot was bare-minimum: Demons took over Phobos and ate Deimos, kill them all. Or, in Doom 2's case, Demons are trying to infest Earth in revenge, kill them all AGAIN. But this time, ''it's personal''. (No, seriously, they killed your pet bunny Daisy.) The Doom engine is extremely mod-friendly for a 90s game (as both Carmack and Romero had been big into software tinkering in their day) and id Software actually paid a modding group for the right to sell two of their expansion packs commercially. Slightly more obscure but still relevant is Doom 64, which replaced the high-speed explode-o-rama with a stronger horror theme and more deliberate pace. id Software then for a time turned toward more multiplayer-oriented games with the ''Quake'' series and gave Doom a rest.

===The Doom Comic===
{{topquote|'''DYNAMITE! I'M COOKING WITH GAS! I'VE GOTTA HANDFUL OF VERTEBRAE AND A HEADFUL OF MAD! YEAH, THAT'S YOUR SPINAL CORD, BABY! DIG IT!'''|You, the moment you read that heading}}
The origin of [[Rip and Tear]]. Possibly the most ridiculously, amazingly, stupidly 90s thing that has ever been put to paper with the possible exception of [[Snowflame]]. It has to be read to be believed. [https://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/ So go read it.]

===Monsters===
[[File:Reaperminis.jpg|thumb|right|Limited-edition monster minis from [[Reaper Miniatures]]. Admit it, you want that Cyberdemon for your Daemons of Chaos army.]]
*'''Former human''': Wet toilet paper. Only dangerous until you get a shotgun.
*'''Former sergeant''': Still wet toilet paper, but full of broken glass; if one of these assholes gets behind you before you find armor you're probably dead. Likely to be your first source for shotguns.
*'''Imp''': The first true demon you encounter with a dodgeable projectile and more health than the formers. The first meaningful enemy you meet, and runner-up for most iconic non-boss monster.
*'''Demon''': Otherwise known as '''Pinkies'''. Giant hairless gorilla with a mouth that could give a [[squig]] lessons in eating. [[Derp|They can't walk and bite at the same time]] so you can just step out of their way, but they tend to come in large groups and dance around like spastic toddlers (which makes them harder to shoot) as they run up to you.
**'''Spectre''': Demon with Predator-style optic camo. An absolute bitch to deal with in dark environments, which is naturally where you find them.
*'''Cacodemon''': Mr. [[Astral Dreadnought]] Head. These fuckers can fly and you can't look up, so have fun fighting them in close quarters where they can float out of your field of view. Dangerous, but get a rapid-fire weapon and they become a joke as you stunlock them until they are all dead. ''The'' most iconic non-boss monster, partially because of its sheer WTFery but mostly because of how easy it is to chibi/make plushies out of.
*'''Lost Soul''': Floating flaming skulls that fly at you at approximately SANIC miles per hour. Fairly weak, but very fast and has a habit of nibbling at you while you focus on something more dangerous.
*'''Hell Knight''': Now we're talking. [[Space Marine]] sized and equipped with a punch and moderate projectile attacks (fireballs). Shooting him in the face with a shotgun will kill him pretty quickly.
**'''Baron of Hell''': Super hell knight with double the health. Big and equipped with nasty melee and projectile attacks. Shooting ''him'' in the face with a shotgun just '''pisses him off'''. Super shotguns will work though.
*'''Former commando''': Unlike the other formers this guy is no joke: he's durable enough to not die when breathed on and his hitscan chaingun is almost as powerful as yours. Using hordes of these guys in an open arena with no cover is the pinnacle of dick moves in Doom mapping.
*'''Revenant''': [[Meme|Agitating skeleton aka '''DOOT'''.]] One of the few monsters that moves anywhere near as fast as you do, plus he runs up and tries to punch your head off if you move inside the minimum range of the homing rockets he shoots. It is an established fact that any given Doom map is automatically casuals-only unless the mapper adds at least 100 revenants.
*'''Mancubus''': [[Festus the Leechlord|HELLO I'M FUCKING FAT.]] Slow, but very tank and he has dual heavy flamers for arms that hurt like hell. Fortunately, this also applies to any nearby demons, so you can make them kill each other for your amusement just by standing between a mancubus and another monster.
*'''Pain elemental''': [[Meme|Meatball demon.]] Like a cacodemon, but instead of shooting fireballs, it shoots Lost Souls. Has the opposite problem to the pinkies in that [[Derp|you can stand in front of its face]] and prevent the lost souls from spawning.
*'''Arch-vile''': One of the few monsters that that's faster than the player at a full run. Sets you on fire [[Psyker|with its mind]] and revives any monsters it comes across so you have to kill them all over again. Meeting one of these guys in a slaughtermap will make you [[Khorne|hate everything forever.]]
*'''Cyberdemon''': [[Rip and tear|Is huge, and therefore has huge guts.]] Basically a (Chaos possesed?) Carnifex with a rocket launcher for an arm, and significantly faster than he looks. Without a doubt the fuckingest monster in the classic game, and practically tailor made for soaking up BFG shots.
*'''Spider Mastermind''': Doom 1’s final boss, despite being inferior in almost every way to the Cyberdemon you fight earlier. Go figure. Even more XBOX HUEG than the Cyberdemon, but has a super-chaingun instead of a rocket launcher and refuses to let up until either you or it are dead. Has the critical weakness of BFG shots up the ass due to the way its hugeness interacts with the mechanics of the classic BFG.
**'''Arachnotron''': Babby Masterminds that go fast and shit plasma at you.

==Doom 3==
In the early 2000s, Doom 3 came along. It blows chunks compared to the classics, but since the classics are so damn good it ends up being passable anyway. Since Valve had made "story-driven" shooters and "realistic" scripted encounters the in thing id decided to rip off Half-Life, grafting on elements of the original Doom that had been scrapped at the concept stage. Unfortunately the gameplay was too slow and similar to the rest of the genre, the scripting and story interludes just made the gameplay even clunkier and the big technological gimmick (per-pixel lighting) meant you had to choose between seeing what you're supposed to shoot with a crappy little flashlight and actually being able to shoot it. Supposedly the lighting effects were resource intense during development and this was the "solution" (of course we know better that they wanted to make it a quasi survival horror). Naturally the first mod for the game was duct tape so you can use the flashlight and a gun at the same time. This mod would eventually become official when the BFG Edition re-release came around about a decade later.

The plot itself is essentially a reboot - You are a generic marine who just transferred to Mars and after pissing around with all your co-workers whom you will never see in one piece again, an experiment involving a portal to Hell (This time with no reason besides the head researcher being kinda absolutely evil) goes horribly awry and now the facility is completely fucked. Your task then devolves into simply surviving, as you're cut off from any command and have to make your way to various checkpoints. Along the way, you come across an ancient artifact made by the original denizens of Mars, who made it in order to kill all the demons, and so the demons sealed it away in Hell. After a couple trips in and out of hell, you manage to understand how the artifact works (by feeding off the souls of slain demons) and use it to kill the Cyberdemon, their greatest champion, and bail home. You'd think this is the end...except the mad scientist responsible for this is revealed to have turned into a full-blown demon.

===Resurrection of Evil===
An expansion to Doom 3, this game takes the original game and puts a few nifty spins to make it feel unique like the gravity gun (because Half-Life 2 did it too). Instead of the classic plot, you are now a nameless space engineer who comes across a different and wholly demonic artifact called the Hell Heart. This makes you more of a target compared to before, as Hell sends out three special hunters to reclaim the heart, each of whom give it a special ability for you to abuse once you kill them.

==Doom 4 (aka DOOM aka DOOD aka Brutal Doom HD)==
{{topquote|They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you? You will be '''worse'''. [[Rip and Tear]], until it is '''DONE'''.|A direct order from what is either [[God-Emperor of Mankind|God's]] [[Living Saint|seraphs]], [[Khorne]] himself, or his champion (at the time) ,and your co-conspirator, the ''first'' betrayer (not [[Kharn|Khârn]]) Seriously, does any of that really matter. do you really need more of a mission briefing? if so why are you playing this game?}}
listen to it here[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpllUQ38CKY]

Then the latest Doom came out in May 2016. This rendition can basically be described as "3d Brutal Doom II" only sexier, with features like [[Rip and tear|ripping enemies apart with your bare hands]] and having to stay on the move to avoid being torn to shreds. The plot is also about as bare minimum as the original (albeit with a surprising amount of lore hidden away in the Codex), kicking the player straight into the action with waking up on Mars, immediately [[Rip and tear|smashing a zombie’s skull]], and basically being told “demonic invasion, go kill everything.” Also, the player this time around is someone the demons call the “Doom Slayer", who has traveled through “Worlds and Time” (hinting that the Doom Slayer could very well be the original Doomguy from the first two games, having also survived Doom 64 and has been traveling Hell since but that's deliberately left ambiguous in-game, names will be used interchangeably), and millennia ago [[Awesome|kicked Hell’s ass so hard that the best the demons could do is seal him away so that he wouldn’t destroy Hell]].
The Slayers testament tells in sparse detail but leaves enough imagination to realise what the Legions of Hell where up against. A near immortal being of pure hate, blessed by the Seraphims(or Khorne...which would make this an attempt at suicide), capable to stand agains Legions of Demons completely alone and harnessing their power as he slaughters them. THEN fought a [[Titan (D&D)|Titan]] of "immeasurable Power and Ferocity" with only his Sword (it was a laser sword though so there's that), killing and absorbing its power to turn them on the Demons. Desperate now, the highest [[Deamon Prince|Archdevils]] realized nothing short of a God will stop the Slayer (fitting since a god summoned it in the first place), so they prepared an elaborate Trap involving what may have been a Blackstone Sarcophagus.
It speaks for itself, of what the Bait, which lured the slayer to the temple of the bloodkeep, must have been made of...or was.
Now at the peak of his might, with sword and shield of "adamantine Strengh" he stood before [[Chaos|the Horde]], and [[rip and tear|split heads open, punched, maimed, killed, burnt]] until finally the whole temple collapsed on him and was sealed in the Cursed Sarcophagus.
Millennia passed until the UAC decides to deal with an Energy Crisis by quite literally [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|slamming an Oil Derrick on a Hell Portal to siphon off Hell Energy for power]], and just for giggles starts tomb raiding Hell for artifacts and treasures as well, ultimately running off with the Doomguy's sarcophagus. The demons see that the Doomguy’s prison/tomb is empty, and the subsequent invasion is actually a panicked attempt to stop the Doomguy from being woken up. Obviously they fail and he butchers ever last one of them.

Samuel Hayden is the guy in charge of the UAC, a cyborg the size of a 40k [[Space Marine]]. He and Vega, the Mars UAC AI, are basically quest givers for the most part. His subordinate Olivia Pierce pretty much ran a cult while Hayden was pillaging artifacts from Hell, [[Grimdark|being the only one to make it back from the expeditions]]. When shit hits the fan he decides to wake the Doom Slayer up. Of course, once awake, he goes on a rampage and busts the UACs shit, as Hayden's disregard for human life is too far even for Doomguy to take, expressing his outrage without the need for a voice actor.

So now it's up to the Doom Slayer in awesome power armor to [[Rip and Tear|rip and tear]] and dakka every demon he comes across to stop Olivia while wrecking UACs energy production. After going to hell at least once due to Olivia breaking an Argent Accumulator and making it back to Mars, then after Hayden installs a "tether" to him, Hayden sends Doomguy on a quest to find the Helix Stone, picking up the most powerful version of the BFG 9000 yet on the way(more on that below). Once he reaches the Helix Stone it directs Doomguy to acquire the Crucible, a relic in the Titan's Realm. So Doomguy has to kill the Cyberdemon to get back to hell, make a long trek and fight three bosses, two of them at once, for the Crucible and returns to Mars again. Then to finally stop Olivia, Hayden, being the bastard that he is, even sacrifices his old friend, Vega, though unlike everyone else, at least our player character is nice enough to make a backup. The first major hint that Hayden is a corporate douchebag is that he doesn't tell Doomguy that the backup function even exists. The Doom Slayer uses the Crucible to shutdown Hell's energy wells and releases the spirits of his old friends, the Night Sentinels.

Once Olivia is found, she transforms into the Spider Mastermind. If you've been collecting all the stuff like you should have, she can easily be(and the other bosses) can be cheesed by the best weapons even on the highest difficulty, with the [[Cheese|Rich get Richer]] Rune fully upgraded. Once she's dead its the final cutscene, Where Hayden steals the "Crucible" which turns out to be an energy blade that makes a Lightsaber look like a toothpick, Then sends the Doom Slayer off to who knows where with the tether he installed into the Praetor suit earlier. So he can have a gopher who isn't dead or something. Then you experience one of the best credit sequences made for a video game in over a decade.

Mick Gordon's soundtrack gives the game the best metal music ever. BFG Divison being the standout in the soundtrack. Used for two whole levels and the final boss music is a Glitch remix of it. There is also some inspiration from RPG style FPS a la Metro 2033 and [[Samus|Metroid Prime]]. As collecting Argent Energy, weapon mods and Runes allow them to upgrade the Praetor Suit to suit their preferred play style. The engine allows the Doom Slayer a wide range of first-person animations. As his destruction of UAC property and actions portrays an "I'm too old for this shit" attitude. Having to fight demons for centuries doesn't make for a happy camper.

The damage of the BFG 9000 itself is notable. This thing instantly vaporizes every non-boss enemy on-screen!(and them too if you exploit a glitch. However what a player does that the devs didn't intend is dubious in canon.) You read that correctly you don't have to aim it directly at your targets to kill them. You just have to find the right opening to make it kill every demon you can. As the Plasma Bolt throws out lightening or much more likely, solar flares. That would mean the Plasma the BFG fires is likely firing a fucking miniature star with each shot! The F in BFG may stand for Fermentation, Grimdark! with science!. We can wait while you Google it.

Don't be impressed just yet. A Baron of Hell is 2000 pounds and because it turns everything into gibs it comes in contact with.
That means it has to have 7 Gigajoules of energy and would have to be heated up to over 100,000 degrees Celsius! [[Anal_Circumference|A temperature range which is only seen in small stars and nebula!]] That's not just [[GrimDark]], that's just fucking cold in the most brutal way possible and speaks to the insanity of the UAC for building this thing. Are we sure somebody didn't screw up the name? Though Brown Dwarf Gun 9000 doesn't sound as cool.(Though why is it green? Because it's blue-green! As blue in space equals very fucking hot!) In all possibility, if the Doom Slayer didn't wear his Praetor suit. Firing the weapon would instantly annihilate him too! (since Photons are their own particle and antiparticle the word is valid) No apologies for the science jokes. They are necessary evils in explaining how the BFG 9000 works.

It also says a lot of the bosses as a direct hit will merely stun them (without using the weapon wheel glitch) while shaving off large portions of their health. So you need either a very advanced suit of Powered Armor or a significant amount of mass to survive a direct hit from the plasma bolt and its flares. The only real con to using the BFG 9000 is it's limited ammo of four shots. Though a good player can get around that if they set up their Runes correctly.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig_gQAITzIk| Science and math mostly explained in this Youtube video ]. So yeah, the BFG 9000 shoots miniature stars.

===DOOM Eternal===
Doom Eternal was announced at E3 and a gameplay reveal was shown at Quakecon 2018. From the look of it, it's glorious. It's set on a demonically infested Earth and the now post-Exterminatus Mars and Phobos Research Center, the latter of which featuring the BFG10000 (a stationary ship-sized version of the BFG9000). The Doom Slayer has a shitload of new abilities: gone is the Preator Suit and hello Predator Suit!
It includes a shoulder-mounted flamethrower/grenade launcher (which you can fire WHILE you fire your Chaingun!), a retractable arm blade to split demons in half, a dash move, the super shotgun has been upgraded with a grappling hook, A FUCKING DEMON SWORD (which has been confirmed by the devs to be another Crucible, which raises the question as to how many of those things are there?) and shitloads of other toys. Some demons from the old Doom games have returned (such as the Arch-Vile and Arachnotron). The designs have also been updated; for example, the Mancubus looks more like its Doom II design, and the Baron of Hell has dual flaming swords. There is also an awesome feature called "Destructible Demons", where demons will actually show more damage on their bodies the more they get hit. There will also be a player mode called Invasion, a [[Dark Souls]]-inspired feature where players can join another player's campaign and fight them as demons (it can be turned off if you want). Overall, a lot of amazing things are in this game.

Also, check out [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0Bx4G3bOu4 this video where the Doom Slayer's presence scares the shit out of humans and demons alike]. Awesome.

Of course, we can assume Samuel Hayden fails to save Earth from its energy crisis. Also obvious is that whatever hell-cult took over the UAC on Mars wasn't an isolated case, as it seems to have dug itself deep enough to make Earth undergo its own apocalypse. Based on the above clip, a significant portion of upper management is part of the cult as they tell their terrified subordinates to let the demons through; another clip tells employees to outright welcome demons to Earth, going full-on Quisling even as they’re being turned into zombies left and right. One would think Hayden would replace his dead Elite Guard with cyborgs loyal to himself who ''wouldn't'' be influenced by a bunch of fanatics. But since this is a video game series that mocks corporate malfeasance every chance it gets, Hayden's doctorate seems to have been sparse on the ability for strategic planning. This is all speculation though, as we've only seen two members high ranking members of the UAC so far in the reboot series.

On top of all that, the Doom Slayer appears to have a demonic counterpart now, wearing armor that looks similar to his Praetor Suit and equipped with a super shotgun and demonic axe. Who is he? Where did he come from? Whatever the case it’s looking like Doomy may have found a worthy adversary. In a notable first for the series, there are also signs of an opposing (but not necessarily friendly to humanity) force opposing Hell, with screenshots and box art showing vaguely angelic (or at least non-demonic) vistas and enemies to be fought. Because of course, the Doom Slayer would be able to tear Heaven down too.

==Doom: The Board Game==
Yes, there is a Board Game - made by [[Fantasy Flight Games]] no less - giving the vague '/tg/ related' qualifications this site uses.
It was released around the time Doom 3 was released, though it wasn't that remarkable and is pretty hard to find nowadays.

One guy plays the baddies, the other 1-4 players play a band of unfortunate marines. The heroes start with 2-3 powerup cards, and the baddies get 5 cards from his own deck and during the game, he gets to draw more (the rate of which is equal to how many marines there are) and if his deck is empty, he gets to insta-kill one of the Marines. His guys are more varied in their movement but they can only shoot once.

The marines have three options: move 8 spaces without shooting, move 4 spaces and shoot once, or shoot twice without movement. They need to explore the board, find computers and other events as the board provides. The baddies, meanwhile, can either upgrade his monsters or bring more to the board.
Either way, his goal is to score 6 kills on the Marines.

A new board game got released shortly after May 2016 Doom, which, to my understanding, is basically just the same shit as before with a new coat of paint.
* It's different, but not too different. Similar in concept and design, with the main differences seeming to be in how the Marines play, and victory conditions for certain scenarios. Absolutely beautiful models however, and incredibly fun. Highly recommended.

==Movie==
Also (roughly) around the same time as Doom 3 was a movie starring Karl Urban and former WWE superstar Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. It pretty much replaced the whole Hell plot with some genetic experimentation to give people superpowers that only succeeds in creating hyper-aggressive mutants, and a squad of Marines sent to investigate the mayhem. It wasn't that good, with the only really 'good' scene being this one scene where it's all FPS-style like the original games and has monster killing.

Another movie was released in 2019, named ''Doom : Annihilation.'' When asked what they thought about this, id Software simply replied: "We are not involved in the movie."

==External Links==
*[https://doomwiki.org/ Doom Wiki] for all your Doom-related autism needs
*[https://www.doomworld.com/idgames/ /idgames/], the home of pretty much every Doom mod worth playing (and pretty much every Doom mod that isn't worth playing) since 1994.

[[Category:Video Games]][[Category:Awesome]]

Doom

2019-12-10T07:58:11Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:6978:FA3B:1A12:D596: /* Doom 4 (aka DOOM aka DOOD aka Brutal Doom HD) */

{{/vg/}}
{{Oldschool}}
{{awesome}}
{{Cleanup}}
[[File:Doom cover poster.jpeg|thumb|If you don't already have the first level's music in your head, you may be on the wrong site.]]
{{topquote|Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combatting the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...|[[Discworld|Terry Pratchett]]}}

The granddaddy of the first person shooter, the original ass-kicking demon-slaying 3D slaughterfest, '''''Doom''''' is a franchise that demands respect even in the hallowed halls of /tg/. It was actually inspired by a [[Dungeons & Dragons]] campaign played by the founders of id Software; John Romero had given a demon lord the key to overrunning the material plane in exchange for a magic [[Katanas are Underpowered in d20|katana]] because he's an edgy little bitch like that, and John Carmack (the DM) decided it made a good premise for their new 3D game. The katana in question would later be used in Romero's game ''Daikatana'', which was a total failure for reasons that aren't important enough to go over right now.

The plot? What do you think this is, [[Fags of 4chan#Board Fags|urchin?]] Here's your plot: you are a Space Marine (no, not the 40K guy, a jumped-up soldier who is sent to fight on other planets, so closer to the [[Imperial Guard]]) stationed on Mars. Somehow, demons break through into our reality and slaughter everyone else. Your job? Fight your way to where, you hope, there's a ride off of this rock, and make bloody mincemeat out of everything standing between you and salvation. Standing in your way are armies of zombified fellow marines and eggheads, fireball-tossing imps, hulking flesh-eating demons, cyborg-demon monstrosities, and various other hell-spawned nasties who want to kill you horribly. Good luck. You'll need it...

Although not the very ''first'' of the FPS genre (even its predecessor, [[Wolfenstein]] 3D, wasn't the first, as the history of the genre goes back all the way into 70's), Doom was definitive to the genre, so much so that "Doom Clone" was the standard nickname for many years afterwards. People are still playing it and making it even more awesome with [[Homebrew|their own custom modifications]] 24 years later, which isn't something you hear that often outside of /tg/; this is one of the main reasons why the franchise is so well-respected.

Fun fact: that iconic Doom monster, the Cacodemon, was actually inspired by the artwork for an Astral Dreadnought on the cover of the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] 1st edition [[Manual of the Planes]] splatbook. Also relevant to /tg/ is that Sandy Petersen, co-designer of [[Ghostbusters RPG]], creator of [[Call of Cthulhu]], and author of some [[RuneQuest]] stuff, worked on the game. He designed some levels (more in the sequel) and made some contributions to the monster design.

==Classic DOOM (aka The Good Shit)==
{{topquote|Welcome to DOOM, a lightning-fast virtual reality adventure where you're the toughest space trooper ever to suck vacuum. Your mission is to shoot your way through a monster-infested holocaust. Living to tell the tale if possible.|README.TXT, Doom 1.8 shareware}}
The original Doom was fast-paced and bloody compared to what came before, but wasn't afraid to vary the pace with more labyrinthine levels or make you shit your pants by dropping you into a crowd of demons when you least expected it. (Fun fact No. 2: The extra levels included in the full version of Doom were built by the same guy who wrote [[Call of Cthulhu]] in just 10 weeks.) Doom II on the other hand was a circle-strafing explosion-rich gorefest, and is what basically everyone thinks of when they think of both Doom and 90s FPS gameplay in general. Plot was bare-minimum: Demons took over Phobos and ate Deimos, kill them all. Or, in Doom 2's case, Demons are trying to infest Earth in revenge, kill them all AGAIN. But this time, ''it's personal''. (No, seriously, they killed your pet bunny Daisy.) The Doom engine is extremely mod-friendly for a 90s game (as both Carmack and Romero had been big into software tinkering in their day) and id Software actually paid a modding group for the right to sell two of their expansion packs commercially. Slightly more obscure but still relevant is Doom 64, which replaced the high-speed explode-o-rama with a stronger horror theme and more deliberate pace. id Software then for a time turned toward more multiplayer-oriented games with the ''Quake'' series and gave Doom a rest.

===The Doom Comic===
{{topquote|'''DYNAMITE! I'M COOKING WITH GAS! I'VE GOTTA HANDFUL OF VERTEBRAE AND A HEADFUL OF MAD! YEAH, THAT'S YOUR SPINAL CORD, BABY! DIG IT!'''|You, the moment you read that heading}}
The origin of [[Rip and Tear]]. Possibly the most ridiculously, amazingly, stupidly 90s thing that has ever been put to paper with the possible exception of [[Snowflame]]. It has to be read to be believed. [https://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/ So go read it.]

===Monsters===
[[File:Reaperminis.jpg|thumb|right|Limited-edition monster minis from [[Reaper Miniatures]]. Admit it, you want that Cyberdemon for your Daemons of Chaos army.]]
*'''Former human''': Wet toilet paper. Only dangerous until you get a shotgun.
*'''Former sergeant''': Still wet toilet paper, but full of broken glass; if one of these assholes gets behind you before you find armor you're probably dead. Likely to be your first source for shotguns.
*'''Imp''': The first true demon you encounter with a dodgeable projectile and more health than the formers. The first meaningful enemy you meet, and runner-up for most iconic non-boss monster.
*'''Demon''': Otherwise known as '''Pinkies'''. Giant hairless gorilla with a mouth that could give a [[squig]] lessons in eating. [[Derp|They can't walk and bite at the same time]] so you can just step out of their way, but they tend to come in large groups and dance around like spastic toddlers (which makes them harder to shoot) as they run up to you.
**'''Spectre''': Demon with Predator-style optic camo. An absolute bitch to deal with in dark environments, which is naturally where you find them.
*'''Cacodemon''': Mr. [[Astral Dreadnought]] Head. These fuckers can fly and you can't look up, so have fun fighting them in close quarters where they can float out of your field of view. Dangerous, but get a rapid-fire weapon and they become a joke as you stunlock them until they are all dead. ''The'' most iconic non-boss monster, partially because of its sheer WTFery but mostly because of how easy it is to chibi/make plushies out of.
*'''Lost Soul''': Floating flaming skulls that fly at you at approximately SANIC miles per hour. Fairly weak, but very fast and has a habit of nibbling at you while you focus on something more dangerous.
*'''Hell Knight''': Now we're talking. [[Space Marine]] sized and equipped with a punch and moderate projectile attacks (fireballs). Shooting him in the face with a shotgun will kill him pretty quickly.
**'''Baron of Hell''': Super hell knight with double the health. Big and equipped with nasty melee and projectile attacks. Shooting ''him'' in the face with a shotgun just '''pisses him off'''. Super shotguns will work though.
*'''Former commando''': Unlike the other formers this guy is no joke: he's durable enough to not die when breathed on and his hitscan chaingun is almost as powerful as yours. Using hordes of these guys in an open arena with no cover is the pinnacle of dick moves in Doom mapping.
*'''Revenant''': [[Meme|Agitating skeleton aka '''DOOT'''.]] One of the few monsters that moves anywhere near as fast as you do, plus he runs up and tries to punch your head off if you move inside the minimum range of the homing rockets he shoots. It is an established fact that any given Doom map is automatically casuals-only unless the mapper adds at least 100 revenants.
*'''Mancubus''': [[Festus the Leechlord|HELLO I'M FUCKING FAT.]] Slow, but very tank and he has dual heavy flamers for arms that hurt like hell. Fortunately, this also applies to any nearby demons, so you can make them kill each other for your amusement just by standing between a mancubus and another monster.
*'''Pain elemental''': [[Meme|Meatball demon.]] Like a cacodemon, but instead of shooting fireballs, it shoots Lost Souls. Has the opposite problem to the pinkies in that [[Derp|you can stand in front of its face]] and prevent the lost souls from spawning.
*'''Arch-vile''': One of the few monsters that that's faster than the player at a full run. Sets you on fire [[Psyker|with its mind]] and revives any monsters it comes across so you have to kill them all over again. Meeting one of these guys in a slaughtermap will make you [[Khorne|hate everything forever.]]
*'''Cyberdemon''': [[Rip and tear|Is huge, and therefore has huge guts.]] Basically a (Chaos possesed?) Carnifex with a rocket launcher for an arm, and significantly faster than he looks. Without a doubt the fuckingest monster in the classic game, and practically tailor made for soaking up BFG shots.
*'''Spider Mastermind''': Doom 1’s final boss, despite being inferior in almost every way to the Cyberdemon you fight earlier. Go figure. Even more XBOX HUEG than the Cyberdemon, but has a super-chaingun instead of a rocket launcher and refuses to let up until either you or it are dead. Has the critical weakness of BFG shots up the ass due to the way its hugeness interacts with the mechanics of the classic BFG.
**'''Arachnotron''': Babby Masterminds that go fast and shit plasma at you.

==Doom 3==
In the early 2000s, Doom 3 came along. It blows chunks compared to the classics, but since the classics are so damn good it ends up being passable anyway. Since Valve had made "story-driven" shooters and "realistic" scripted encounters the in thing id decided to rip off Half-Life, grafting on elements of the original Doom that had been scrapped at the concept stage. Unfortunately the gameplay was too slow and similar to the rest of the genre, the scripting and story interludes just made the gameplay even clunkier and the big technological gimmick (per-pixel lighting) meant you had to choose between seeing what you're supposed to shoot with a crappy little flashlight and actually being able to shoot it. Supposedly the lighting effects were resource intense during development and this was the "solution" (of course we know better that they wanted to make it a quasi survival horror). Naturally the first mod for the game was duct tape so you can use the flashlight and a gun at the same time. This mod would eventually become official when the BFG Edition re-release came around about a decade later.

The plot itself is essentially a reboot - You are a generic marine who just transferred to Mars and after pissing around with all your co-workers whom you will never see in one piece again, an experiment involving a portal to Hell (This time with no reason besides the head researcher being kinda absolutely evil) goes horribly awry and now the facility is completely fucked. Your task then devolves into simply surviving, as you're cut off from any command and have to make your way to various checkpoints. Along the way, you come across an ancient artifact made by the original denizens of Mars, who made it in order to kill all the demons, and so the demons sealed it away in Hell. After a couple trips in and out of hell, you manage to understand how the artifact works (by feeding off the souls of slain demons) and use it to kill the Cyberdemon, their greatest champion, and bail home. You'd think this is the end...except the mad scientist responsible for this is revealed to have turned into a full-blown demon.

===Resurrection of Evil===
An expansion to Doom 3, this game takes the original game and puts a few nifty spins to make it feel unique like the gravity gun (because Half-Life 2 did it too). Instead of the classic plot, you are now a nameless space engineer who comes across a different and wholly demonic artifact called the Hell Heart. This makes you more of a target compared to before, as Hell sends out three special hunters to reclaim the heart, each of whom give it a special ability for you to abuse once you kill them.

==Doom 4 (aka DOOM aka DOOD aka Brutal Doom HD)==
{{topquote|They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you? You will be '''worse'''. [[Rip and Tear]], until it is '''DONE'''.|A direct order from what is either [[God-Emperor of Mankind|God's]] [[Living Saint|seraphs]], [[Khorne]] himself, or his champion (at the time) ,and your co-conspirator, the ''first'' betrayer (not [[Kharn|Khârn]]) Seriously, does any of that really matter. do you really need more of a mission briefing? if so why are you playing this game?}}
listen to it here[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpllUQ38CKY]

Then the latest Doom came out in May 2016. This rendition can basically be described as "3d Brutal Doom II" only sexier, with features like [[Rip and tear|ripping enemies apart with your bare hands]] and having to stay on the move to avoid being torn to shreds. The plot is also about as bare minimum as the original (albeit with a surprising amount of lore hidden away in the Codex), kicking the player straight into the action with waking up on Mars, immediately [[Rip and tear|smashing a zombie’s skull]], and basically being told “demonic invasion, go kill everything.” Also, the player this time around is someone the demons call the “Doom Slayer", who has traveled through “Worlds and Time” (hinting that the Doom Slayer could very well be the original Doomguy from the first two games, having also survived Doom 64 and has been traveling Hell since but that's deliberately left ambiguous in-game, names will be used interchangeably), and millennia ago [[Awesome|kicked Hell’s ass so hard that the best the demons could do is seal him away so that he wouldn’t destroy Hell]].
The Slayers testament tells in sparse detail but leaves enough imagination to realise what the Legions of Hell where up against. A near immortal being of pure hate, blessed by the Seraphims(or Khorne...which would make this an attempt at suicide), capable to stand agains Legions of Demons completely alone and harnessing their power as he slaughters them. THEN fought a [[Titan (D&D)|Titan]] of "immeasurable Power and Ferocity" with only his Sword (it was a laser sword though so there's that), killing and absorbing its power to turn them on the Demons. Desperate now, the highest [[Deamon-Prince|Archdevils]] realized nothing short of a God will stop the Slayer (fitting since a god summoned it in the first place), so they prepared an elaborate Trap involving what may have been a [[Blackstone]] Sarcophagus.
It speaks for itself, of what the Bait, which lured the slayer to the temple of the bloodkeep, must have been made of...or was.
Now at the peak of his might, with sword and shield of "adamantine Strengh" he stood before [[Chaos|the Horde]], and [[rip and tear|split heads open, punched, maimed, killed, burnt]] until finally the whole temple collapsed on him and was sealed in the Cursed Sarcophagus.
Millennia passed until the UAC decides to deal with an Energy Crisis by quite literally [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|slamming an Oil Derrick on a Hell Portal to siphon off Hell Energy for power]], and just for giggles starts tomb raiding Hell for artifacts and treasures as well, ultimately running off with the Doomguy's sarcophagus. The demons see that the Doomguy’s prison/tomb is empty, and the subsequent invasion is actually a panicked attempt to stop the Doomguy from being woken up. Obviously they fail and he butchers ever last one of them.

Samuel Hayden is the guy in charge of the UAC, a cyborg the size of a 40k [[Space Marine]]. He and Vega, the Mars UAC AI, are basically quest givers for the most part. His subordinate Olivia Pierce pretty much ran a cult while Hayden was pillaging artifacts from Hell, [[Grimdark|being the only one to make it back from the expeditions]]. When shit hits the fan he decides to wake the Doom Slayer up. Of course, once awake, he goes on a rampage and busts the UACs shit, as Hayden's disregard for human life is too far even for Doomguy to take, expressing his outrage without the need for a voice actor.

So now it's up to the Doom Slayer in awesome power armor to [[Rip and Tear|rip and tear]] and dakka every demon he comes across to stop Olivia while wrecking UACs energy production. After going to hell at least once due to Olivia breaking an Argent Accumulator and making it back to Mars, then after Hayden installs a "tether" to him, Hayden sends Doomguy on a quest to find the Helix Stone, picking up the most powerful version of the BFG 9000 yet on the way(more on that below). Once he reaches the Helix Stone it directs Doomguy to acquire the Crucible, a relic in the Titan's Realm. So Doomguy has to kill the Cyberdemon to get back to hell, make a long trek and fight three bosses, two of them at once, for the Crucible and returns to Mars again. Then to finally stop Olivia, Hayden, being the bastard that he is, even sacrifices his old friend, Vega, though unlike everyone else, at least our player character is nice enough to make a backup. The first major hint that Hayden is a corporate douchebag is that he doesn't tell Doomguy that the backup function even exists. The Doom Slayer uses the Crucible to shutdown Hell's energy wells and releases the spirits of his old friends, the Night Sentinels.

Once Olivia is found, she transforms into the Spider Mastermind. If you've been collecting all the stuff like you should have, she can easily be(and the other bosses) can be cheesed by the best weapons even on the highest difficulty, with the [[Cheese|Rich get Richer]] Rune fully upgraded. Once she's dead its the final cutscene, Where Hayden steals the "Crucible" which turns out to be an energy blade that makes a Lightsaber look like a toothpick, Then sends the Doom Slayer off to who knows where with the tether he installed into the Praetor suit earlier. So he can have a gopher who isn't dead or something. Then you experience one of the best credit sequences made for a video game in over a decade.

Mick Gordon's soundtrack gives the game the best metal music ever. BFG Divison being the standout in the soundtrack. Used for two whole levels and the final boss music is a Glitch remix of it. There is also some inspiration from RPG style FPS a la Metro 2033 and [[Samus|Metroid Prime]]. As collecting Argent Energy, weapon mods and Runes allow them to upgrade the Praetor Suit to suit their preferred play style. The engine allows the Doom Slayer a wide range of first-person animations. As his destruction of UAC property and actions portrays an "I'm too old for this shit" attitude. Having to fight demons for centuries doesn't make for a happy camper.

The damage of the BFG 9000 itself is notable. This thing instantly vaporizes every non-boss enemy on-screen!(and them too if you exploit a glitch. However what a player does that the devs didn't intend is dubious in canon.) You read that correctly you don't have to aim it directly at your targets to kill them. You just have to find the right opening to make it kill every demon you can. As the Plasma Bolt throws out lightening or much more likely, solar flares. That would mean the Plasma the BFG fires is likely firing a fucking miniature star with each shot! The F in BFG may stand for Fermentation, Grimdark! with science!. We can wait while you Google it.

Don't be impressed just yet. A Baron of Hell is 2000 pounds and because it turns everything into gibs it comes in contact with.
That means it has to have 7 Gigajoules of energy and would have to be heated up to over 100,000 degrees Celsius! [[Anal_Circumference|A temperature range which is only seen in small stars and nebula!]] That's not just [[GrimDark]], that's just fucking cold in the most brutal way possible and speaks to the insanity of the UAC for building this thing. Are we sure somebody didn't screw up the name? Though Brown Dwarf Gun 9000 doesn't sound as cool.(Though why is it green? Because it's blue-green! As blue in space equals very fucking hot!) In all possibility, if the Doom Slayer didn't wear his Praetor suit. Firing the weapon would instantly annihilate him too! (since Photons are their own particle and antiparticle the word is valid) No apologies for the science jokes. They are necessary evils in explaining how the BFG 9000 works.

It also says a lot of the bosses as a direct hit will merely stun them (without using the weapon wheel glitch) while shaving off large portions of their health. So you need either a very advanced suit of Powered Armor or a significant amount of mass to survive a direct hit from the plasma bolt and its flares. The only real con to using the BFG 9000 is it's limited ammo of four shots. Though a good player can get around that if they set up their Runes correctly.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig_gQAITzIk| Science and math mostly explained in this Youtube video ]. So yeah, the BFG 9000 shoots miniature stars.

===DOOM Eternal===
Doom Eternal was announced at E3 and a gameplay reveal was shown at Quakecon 2018. From the look of it, it's glorious. It's set on a demonically infested Earth and the now post-Exterminatus Mars and Phobos Research Center, the latter of which featuring the BFG10000 (a stationary ship-sized version of the BFG9000). The Doom Slayer has a shitload of new abilities: gone is the Preator Suit and hello Predator Suit!
It includes a shoulder-mounted flamethrower/grenade launcher (which you can fire WHILE you fire your Chaingun!), a retractable arm blade to split demons in half, a dash move, the super shotgun has been upgraded with a grappling hook, A FUCKING DEMON SWORD (which has been confirmed by the devs to be another Crucible, which raises the question as to how many of those things are there?) and shitloads of other toys. Some demons from the old Doom games have returned (such as the Arch-Vile and Arachnotron). The designs have also been updated; for example, the Mancubus looks more like its Doom II design, and the Baron of Hell has dual flaming swords. There is also an awesome feature called "Destructible Demons", where demons will actually show more damage on their bodies the more they get hit. There will also be a player mode called Invasion, a [[Dark Souls]]-inspired feature where players can join another player's campaign and fight them as demons (it can be turned off if you want). Overall, a lot of amazing things are in this game.

Also, check out [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0Bx4G3bOu4 this video where the Doom Slayer's presence scares the shit out of humans and demons alike]. Awesome.

Of course, we can assume Samuel Hayden fails to save Earth from its energy crisis. Also obvious is that whatever hell-cult took over the UAC on Mars wasn't an isolated case, as it seems to have dug itself deep enough to make Earth undergo its own apocalypse. Based on the above clip, a significant portion of upper management is part of the cult as they tell their terrified subordinates to let the demons through; another clip tells employees to outright welcome demons to Earth, going full-on Quisling even as they’re being turned into zombies left and right. One would think Hayden would replace his dead Elite Guard with cyborgs loyal to himself who ''wouldn't'' be influenced by a bunch of fanatics. But since this is a video game series that mocks corporate malfeasance every chance it gets, Hayden's doctorate seems to have been sparse on the ability for strategic planning. This is all speculation though, as we've only seen two members high ranking members of the UAC so far in the reboot series.

On top of all that, the Doom Slayer appears to have a demonic counterpart now, wearing armor that looks similar to his Praetor Suit and equipped with a super shotgun and demonic axe. Who is he? Where did he come from? Whatever the case it’s looking like Doomy may have found a worthy adversary. In a notable first for the series, there are also signs of an opposing (but not necessarily friendly to humanity) force opposing Hell, with screenshots and box art showing vaguely angelic (or at least non-demonic) vistas and enemies to be fought. Because of course, the Doom Slayer would be able to tear Heaven down too.

==Doom: The Board Game==
Yes, there is a Board Game - made by [[Fantasy Flight Games]] no less - giving the vague '/tg/ related' qualifications this site uses.
It was released around the time Doom 3 was released, though it wasn't that remarkable and is pretty hard to find nowadays.

One guy plays the baddies, the other 1-4 players play a band of unfortunate marines. The heroes start with 2-3 powerup cards, and the baddies get 5 cards from his own deck and during the game, he gets to draw more (the rate of which is equal to how many marines there are) and if his deck is empty, he gets to insta-kill one of the Marines. His guys are more varied in their movement but they can only shoot once.

The marines have three options: move 8 spaces without shooting, move 4 spaces and shoot once, or shoot twice without movement. They need to explore the board, find computers and other events as the board provides. The baddies, meanwhile, can either upgrade his monsters or bring more to the board.
Either way, his goal is to score 6 kills on the Marines.

A new board game got released shortly after May 2016 Doom, which, to my understanding, is basically just the same shit as before with a new coat of paint.
* It's different, but not too different. Similar in concept and design, with the main differences seeming to be in how the Marines play, and victory conditions for certain scenarios. Absolutely beautiful models however, and incredibly fun. Highly recommended.

==Movie==
Also (roughly) around the same time as Doom 3 was a movie starring Karl Urban and former WWE superstar Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. It pretty much replaced the whole Hell plot with some genetic experimentation to give people superpowers that only succeeds in creating hyper-aggressive mutants, and a squad of Marines sent to investigate the mayhem. It wasn't that good, with the only really 'good' scene being this one scene where it's all FPS-style like the original games and has monster killing.

Another movie was released in 2019, named ''Doom : Annihilation.'' When asked what they thought about this, id Software simply replied: "We are not involved in the movie."

==External Links==
*[https://doomwiki.org/ Doom Wiki] for all your Doom-related autism needs
*[https://www.doomworld.com/idgames/ /idgames/], the home of pretty much every Doom mod worth playing (and pretty much every Doom mod that isn't worth playing) since 1994.

[[Category:Video Games]][[Category:Awesome]]

Doom

2019-12-10T07:56:20Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:6978:FA3B:1A12:D596: /* Doom 4 (aka DOOM aka DOOD aka Brutal Doom HD) */

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[[File:Doom cover poster.jpeg|thumb|If you don't already have the first level's music in your head, you may be on the wrong site.]]
{{topquote|Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combatting the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...|[[Discworld|Terry Pratchett]]}}

The granddaddy of the first person shooter, the original ass-kicking demon-slaying 3D slaughterfest, '''''Doom''''' is a franchise that demands respect even in the hallowed halls of /tg/. It was actually inspired by a [[Dungeons & Dragons]] campaign played by the founders of id Software; John Romero had given a demon lord the key to overrunning the material plane in exchange for a magic [[Katanas are Underpowered in d20|katana]] because he's an edgy little bitch like that, and John Carmack (the DM) decided it made a good premise for their new 3D game. The katana in question would later be used in Romero's game ''Daikatana'', which was a total failure for reasons that aren't important enough to go over right now.

The plot? What do you think this is, [[Fags of 4chan#Board Fags|urchin?]] Here's your plot: you are a Space Marine (no, not the 40K guy, a jumped-up soldier who is sent to fight on other planets, so closer to the [[Imperial Guard]]) stationed on Mars. Somehow, demons break through into our reality and slaughter everyone else. Your job? Fight your way to where, you hope, there's a ride off of this rock, and make bloody mincemeat out of everything standing between you and salvation. Standing in your way are armies of zombified fellow marines and eggheads, fireball-tossing imps, hulking flesh-eating demons, cyborg-demon monstrosities, and various other hell-spawned nasties who want to kill you horribly. Good luck. You'll need it...

Although not the very ''first'' of the FPS genre (even its predecessor, [[Wolfenstein]] 3D, wasn't the first, as the history of the genre goes back all the way into 70's), Doom was definitive to the genre, so much so that "Doom Clone" was the standard nickname for many years afterwards. People are still playing it and making it even more awesome with [[Homebrew|their own custom modifications]] 24 years later, which isn't something you hear that often outside of /tg/; this is one of the main reasons why the franchise is so well-respected.

Fun fact: that iconic Doom monster, the Cacodemon, was actually inspired by the artwork for an Astral Dreadnought on the cover of the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] 1st edition [[Manual of the Planes]] splatbook. Also relevant to /tg/ is that Sandy Petersen, co-designer of [[Ghostbusters RPG]], creator of [[Call of Cthulhu]], and author of some [[RuneQuest]] stuff, worked on the game. He designed some levels (more in the sequel) and made some contributions to the monster design.

==Classic DOOM (aka The Good Shit)==
{{topquote|Welcome to DOOM, a lightning-fast virtual reality adventure where you're the toughest space trooper ever to suck vacuum. Your mission is to shoot your way through a monster-infested holocaust. Living to tell the tale if possible.|README.TXT, Doom 1.8 shareware}}
The original Doom was fast-paced and bloody compared to what came before, but wasn't afraid to vary the pace with more labyrinthine levels or make you shit your pants by dropping you into a crowd of demons when you least expected it. (Fun fact No. 2: The extra levels included in the full version of Doom were built by the same guy who wrote [[Call of Cthulhu]] in just 10 weeks.) Doom II on the other hand was a circle-strafing explosion-rich gorefest, and is what basically everyone thinks of when they think of both Doom and 90s FPS gameplay in general. Plot was bare-minimum: Demons took over Phobos and ate Deimos, kill them all. Or, in Doom 2's case, Demons are trying to infest Earth in revenge, kill them all AGAIN. But this time, ''it's personal''. (No, seriously, they killed your pet bunny Daisy.) The Doom engine is extremely mod-friendly for a 90s game (as both Carmack and Romero had been big into software tinkering in their day) and id Software actually paid a modding group for the right to sell two of their expansion packs commercially. Slightly more obscure but still relevant is Doom 64, which replaced the high-speed explode-o-rama with a stronger horror theme and more deliberate pace. id Software then for a time turned toward more multiplayer-oriented games with the ''Quake'' series and gave Doom a rest.

===The Doom Comic===
{{topquote|'''DYNAMITE! I'M COOKING WITH GAS! I'VE GOTTA HANDFUL OF VERTEBRAE AND A HEADFUL OF MAD! YEAH, THAT'S YOUR SPINAL CORD, BABY! DIG IT!'''|You, the moment you read that heading}}
The origin of [[Rip and Tear]]. Possibly the most ridiculously, amazingly, stupidly 90s thing that has ever been put to paper with the possible exception of [[Snowflame]]. It has to be read to be believed. [https://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/ So go read it.]

===Monsters===
[[File:Reaperminis.jpg|thumb|right|Limited-edition monster minis from [[Reaper Miniatures]]. Admit it, you want that Cyberdemon for your Daemons of Chaos army.]]
*'''Former human''': Wet toilet paper. Only dangerous until you get a shotgun.
*'''Former sergeant''': Still wet toilet paper, but full of broken glass; if one of these assholes gets behind you before you find armor you're probably dead. Likely to be your first source for shotguns.
*'''Imp''': The first true demon you encounter with a dodgeable projectile and more health than the formers. The first meaningful enemy you meet, and runner-up for most iconic non-boss monster.
*'''Demon''': Otherwise known as '''Pinkies'''. Giant hairless gorilla with a mouth that could give a [[squig]] lessons in eating. [[Derp|They can't walk and bite at the same time]] so you can just step out of their way, but they tend to come in large groups and dance around like spastic toddlers (which makes them harder to shoot) as they run up to you.
**'''Spectre''': Demon with Predator-style optic camo. An absolute bitch to deal with in dark environments, which is naturally where you find them.
*'''Cacodemon''': Mr. [[Astral Dreadnought]] Head. These fuckers can fly and you can't look up, so have fun fighting them in close quarters where they can float out of your field of view. Dangerous, but get a rapid-fire weapon and they become a joke as you stunlock them until they are all dead. ''The'' most iconic non-boss monster, partially because of its sheer WTFery but mostly because of how easy it is to chibi/make plushies out of.
*'''Lost Soul''': Floating flaming skulls that fly at you at approximately SANIC miles per hour. Fairly weak, but very fast and has a habit of nibbling at you while you focus on something more dangerous.
*'''Hell Knight''': Now we're talking. [[Space Marine]] sized and equipped with a punch and moderate projectile attacks (fireballs). Shooting him in the face with a shotgun will kill him pretty quickly.
**'''Baron of Hell''': Super hell knight with double the health. Big and equipped with nasty melee and projectile attacks. Shooting ''him'' in the face with a shotgun just '''pisses him off'''. Super shotguns will work though.
*'''Former commando''': Unlike the other formers this guy is no joke: he's durable enough to not die when breathed on and his hitscan chaingun is almost as powerful as yours. Using hordes of these guys in an open arena with no cover is the pinnacle of dick moves in Doom mapping.
*'''Revenant''': [[Meme|Agitating skeleton aka '''DOOT'''.]] One of the few monsters that moves anywhere near as fast as you do, plus he runs up and tries to punch your head off if you move inside the minimum range of the homing rockets he shoots. It is an established fact that any given Doom map is automatically casuals-only unless the mapper adds at least 100 revenants.
*'''Mancubus''': [[Festus the Leechlord|HELLO I'M FUCKING FAT.]] Slow, but very tank and he has dual heavy flamers for arms that hurt like hell. Fortunately, this also applies to any nearby demons, so you can make them kill each other for your amusement just by standing between a mancubus and another monster.
*'''Pain elemental''': [[Meme|Meatball demon.]] Like a cacodemon, but instead of shooting fireballs, it shoots Lost Souls. Has the opposite problem to the pinkies in that [[Derp|you can stand in front of its face]] and prevent the lost souls from spawning.
*'''Arch-vile''': One of the few monsters that that's faster than the player at a full run. Sets you on fire [[Psyker|with its mind]] and revives any monsters it comes across so you have to kill them all over again. Meeting one of these guys in a slaughtermap will make you [[Khorne|hate everything forever.]]
*'''Cyberdemon''': [[Rip and tear|Is huge, and therefore has huge guts.]] Basically a (Chaos possesed?) Carnifex with a rocket launcher for an arm, and significantly faster than he looks. Without a doubt the fuckingest monster in the classic game, and practically tailor made for soaking up BFG shots.
*'''Spider Mastermind''': Doom 1’s final boss, despite being inferior in almost every way to the Cyberdemon you fight earlier. Go figure. Even more XBOX HUEG than the Cyberdemon, but has a super-chaingun instead of a rocket launcher and refuses to let up until either you or it are dead. Has the critical weakness of BFG shots up the ass due to the way its hugeness interacts with the mechanics of the classic BFG.
**'''Arachnotron''': Babby Masterminds that go fast and shit plasma at you.

==Doom 3==
In the early 2000s, Doom 3 came along. It blows chunks compared to the classics, but since the classics are so damn good it ends up being passable anyway. Since Valve had made "story-driven" shooters and "realistic" scripted encounters the in thing id decided to rip off Half-Life, grafting on elements of the original Doom that had been scrapped at the concept stage. Unfortunately the gameplay was too slow and similar to the rest of the genre, the scripting and story interludes just made the gameplay even clunkier and the big technological gimmick (per-pixel lighting) meant you had to choose between seeing what you're supposed to shoot with a crappy little flashlight and actually being able to shoot it. Supposedly the lighting effects were resource intense during development and this was the "solution" (of course we know better that they wanted to make it a quasi survival horror). Naturally the first mod for the game was duct tape so you can use the flashlight and a gun at the same time. This mod would eventually become official when the BFG Edition re-release came around about a decade later.

The plot itself is essentially a reboot - You are a generic marine who just transferred to Mars and after pissing around with all your co-workers whom you will never see in one piece again, an experiment involving a portal to Hell (This time with no reason besides the head researcher being kinda absolutely evil) goes horribly awry and now the facility is completely fucked. Your task then devolves into simply surviving, as you're cut off from any command and have to make your way to various checkpoints. Along the way, you come across an ancient artifact made by the original denizens of Mars, who made it in order to kill all the demons, and so the demons sealed it away in Hell. After a couple trips in and out of hell, you manage to understand how the artifact works (by feeding off the souls of slain demons) and use it to kill the Cyberdemon, their greatest champion, and bail home. You'd think this is the end...except the mad scientist responsible for this is revealed to have turned into a full-blown demon.

===Resurrection of Evil===
An expansion to Doom 3, this game takes the original game and puts a few nifty spins to make it feel unique like the gravity gun (because Half-Life 2 did it too). Instead of the classic plot, you are now a nameless space engineer who comes across a different and wholly demonic artifact called the Hell Heart. This makes you more of a target compared to before, as Hell sends out three special hunters to reclaim the heart, each of whom give it a special ability for you to abuse once you kill them.

==Doom 4 (aka DOOM aka DOOD aka Brutal Doom HD)==
{{topquote|They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you? You will be '''worse'''. [[Rip and Tear]], until it is '''DONE'''.|A direct order from what is either [[God-Emperor of Mankind|God's]] [[Living Saint|seraphs]], [[Khorne]] himself, or his champion (at the time) ,and your co-conspirator, the ''first'' betrayer (not [[Kharn|Khârn]]) Seriously, does any of that really matter. do you really need more of a mission briefing? if so why are you playing this game?}}
listen to it here[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpllUQ38CKY]

Then the latest Doom came out in May 2016. This rendition can basically be described as "3d Brutal Doom II" only sexier, with features like [[Rip and tear|ripping enemies apart with your bare hands]] and having to stay on the move to avoid being torn to shreds. The plot is also about as bare minimum as the original (albeit with a surprising amount of lore hidden away in the Codex), kicking the player straight into the action with waking up on Mars, immediately [[Rip and tear|smashing a zombie’s skull]], and basically being told “demonic invasion, go kill everything.” Also, the player this time around is someone the demons call the “Doom Slayer", who has traveled through “Worlds and Time” (hinting that the Doom Slayer could very well be the original Doomguy from the first two games, having also survived Doom 64 and has been traveling Hell since but that's deliberately left ambiguous in-game, names will be used interchangeably), and millennia ago [[Awesome|kicked Hell’s ass so hard that the best the demons could do is seal him away so that he wouldn’t destroy Hell]].
The Slayers testament tells in sparse detail but leaves enough imagination to realise what the Legions of Hell where up against. A near immortal being of pure hate, blessed by the Seraphims(or Khorne...which would make this an attempt at suicide), capable to stand agains Legions of Demons completely alone and harnessing their power as he slaughters them. THEN fought a [[Titan]] of "immeasurable Power and Ferocity" with only his Sword (it was a laser sword though so there's that), killing and absorbing its power to turn them on the Demons. Desperate now, the highest [[Deamon-Prince|Archdevils]] realized nothing short of a God will stop the Slayer (fitting since a god summoned it in the first place), so they prepared an elaborate Trap involving what may have been a [[Blackstone]] Sarcophagus.
It speaks for itself, of what the Bait, which lured the slayer to the temple of the bloodkeep, must have been made of...or was.
Now at the peak of his might, with sword and shield of "adamantine Strengh" he stood before [[Chaos|the Horde]], and [[rip and tear|split heads open, punched, maimed, killed, burnt]] until finally the whole temple collapsed on him and was sealed in the Cursed Sarcophagus.
Millennia passed until the UAC decides to deal with an Energy Crisis by quite literally [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|slamming an Oil Derrick on a Hell Portal to siphon off Hell Energy for power]], and just for giggles starts tomb raiding Hell for artifacts and treasures as well, ultimately running off with the Doomguy's sarcophagus. The demons see that the Doomguy’s prison/tomb is empty, and the subsequent invasion is actually a panicked attempt to stop the Doomguy from being woken up. Obviously they fail and he butchers ever last one of them.

Samuel Hayden is the guy in charge of the UAC, a cyborg the size of a 40k [[Space Marine]]. He and Vega, the Mars UAC AI, are basically quest givers for the most part. His subordinate Olivia Pierce pretty much ran a cult while Hayden was pillaging artifacts from Hell, [[Grimdark|being the only one to make it back from the expeditions]]. When shit hits the fan he decides to wake the Doom Slayer up. Of course, once awake, he goes on a rampage and busts the UACs shit, as Hayden's disregard for human life is too far even for Doomguy to take, expressing his outrage without the need for a voice actor.

So now it's up to the Doom Slayer in awesome power armor to [[Rip and Tear|rip and tear]] and dakka every demon he comes across to stop Olivia while wrecking UACs energy production. After going to hell at least once due to Olivia breaking an Argent Accumulator and making it back to Mars, then after Hayden installs a "tether" to him, Hayden sends Doomguy on a quest to find the Helix Stone, picking up the most powerful version of the BFG 9000 yet on the way(more on that below). Once he reaches the Helix Stone it directs Doomguy to acquire the Crucible, a relic in the Titan's Realm. So Doomguy has to kill the Cyberdemon to get back to hell, make a long trek and fight three bosses, two of them at once, for the Crucible and returns to Mars again. Then to finally stop Olivia, Hayden, being the bastard that he is, even sacrifices his old friend, Vega, though unlike everyone else, at least our player character is nice enough to make a backup. The first major hint that Hayden is a corporate douchebag is that he doesn't tell Doomguy that the backup function even exists. The Doom Slayer uses the Crucible to shutdown Hell's energy wells and releases the spirits of his old friends, the Night Sentinels.

Once Olivia is found, she transforms into the Spider Mastermind. If you've been collecting all the stuff like you should have, she can easily be(and the other bosses) can be cheesed by the best weapons even on the highest difficulty, with the [[Cheese|Rich get Richer]] Rune fully upgraded. Once she's dead its the final cutscene, Where Hayden steals the "Crucible" which turns out to be an energy blade that makes a Lightsaber look like a toothpick, Then sends the Doom Slayer off to who knows where with the tether he installed into the Praetor suit earlier. So he can have a gopher who isn't dead or something. Then you experience one of the best credit sequences made for a video game in over a decade.

Mick Gordon's soundtrack gives the game the best metal music ever. BFG Divison being the standout in the soundtrack. Used for two whole levels and the final boss music is a Glitch remix of it. There is also some inspiration from RPG style FPS a la Metro 2033 and [[Samus|Metroid Prime]]. As collecting Argent Energy, weapon mods and Runes allow them to upgrade the Praetor Suit to suit their preferred play style. The engine allows the Doom Slayer a wide range of first-person animations. As his destruction of UAC property and actions portrays an "I'm too old for this shit" attitude. Having to fight demons for centuries doesn't make for a happy camper.

The damage of the BFG 9000 itself is notable. This thing instantly vaporizes every non-boss enemy on-screen!(and them too if you exploit a glitch. However what a player does that the devs didn't intend is dubious in canon.) You read that correctly you don't have to aim it directly at your targets to kill them. You just have to find the right opening to make it kill every demon you can. As the Plasma Bolt throws out lightening or much more likely, solar flares. That would mean the Plasma the BFG fires is likely firing a fucking miniature star with each shot! The F in BFG may stand for Fermentation, Grimdark! with science!. We can wait while you Google it.

Don't be impressed just yet. A Baron of Hell is 2000 pounds and because it turns everything into gibs it comes in contact with.
That means it has to have 7 Gigajoules of energy and would have to be heated up to over 100,000 degrees Celsius! [[Anal_Circumference|A temperature range which is only seen in small stars and nebula!]] That's not just [[GrimDark]], that's just fucking cold in the most brutal way possible and speaks to the insanity of the UAC for building this thing. Are we sure somebody didn't screw up the name? Though Brown Dwarf Gun 9000 doesn't sound as cool.(Though why is it green? Because it's blue-green! As blue in space equals very fucking hot!) In all possibility, if the Doom Slayer didn't wear his Praetor suit. Firing the weapon would instantly annihilate him too! (since Photons are their own particle and antiparticle the word is valid) No apologies for the science jokes. They are necessary evils in explaining how the BFG 9000 works.

It also says a lot of the bosses as a direct hit will merely stun them (without using the weapon wheel glitch) while shaving off large portions of their health. So you need either a very advanced suit of Powered Armor or a significant amount of mass to survive a direct hit from the plasma bolt and its flares. The only real con to using the BFG 9000 is it's limited ammo of four shots. Though a good player can get around that if they set up their Runes correctly.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig_gQAITzIk| Science and math mostly explained in this Youtube video ]. So yeah, the BFG 9000 shoots miniature stars.

===DOOM Eternal===
Doom Eternal was announced at E3 and a gameplay reveal was shown at Quakecon 2018. From the look of it, it's glorious. It's set on a demonically infested Earth and the now post-Exterminatus Mars and Phobos Research Center, the latter of which featuring the BFG10000 (a stationary ship-sized version of the BFG9000). The Doom Slayer has a shitload of new abilities: gone is the Preator Suit and hello Predator Suit!
It includes a shoulder-mounted flamethrower/grenade launcher (which you can fire WHILE you fire your Chaingun!), a retractable arm blade to split demons in half, a dash move, the super shotgun has been upgraded with a grappling hook, A FUCKING DEMON SWORD (which has been confirmed by the devs to be another Crucible, which raises the question as to how many of those things are there?) and shitloads of other toys. Some demons from the old Doom games have returned (such as the Arch-Vile and Arachnotron). The designs have also been updated; for example, the Mancubus looks more like its Doom II design, and the Baron of Hell has dual flaming swords. There is also an awesome feature called "Destructible Demons", where demons will actually show more damage on their bodies the more they get hit. There will also be a player mode called Invasion, a [[Dark Souls]]-inspired feature where players can join another player's campaign and fight them as demons (it can be turned off if you want). Overall, a lot of amazing things are in this game.

Also, check out [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0Bx4G3bOu4 this video where the Doom Slayer's presence scares the shit out of humans and demons alike]. Awesome.

Of course, we can assume Samuel Hayden fails to save Earth from its energy crisis. Also obvious is that whatever hell-cult took over the UAC on Mars wasn't an isolated case, as it seems to have dug itself deep enough to make Earth undergo its own apocalypse. Based on the above clip, a significant portion of upper management is part of the cult as they tell their terrified subordinates to let the demons through; another clip tells employees to outright welcome demons to Earth, going full-on Quisling even as they’re being turned into zombies left and right. One would think Hayden would replace his dead Elite Guard with cyborgs loyal to himself who ''wouldn't'' be influenced by a bunch of fanatics. But since this is a video game series that mocks corporate malfeasance every chance it gets, Hayden's doctorate seems to have been sparse on the ability for strategic planning. This is all speculation though, as we've only seen two members high ranking members of the UAC so far in the reboot series.

On top of all that, the Doom Slayer appears to have a demonic counterpart now, wearing armor that looks similar to his Praetor Suit and equipped with a super shotgun and demonic axe. Who is he? Where did he come from? Whatever the case it’s looking like Doomy may have found a worthy adversary. In a notable first for the series, there are also signs of an opposing (but not necessarily friendly to humanity) force opposing Hell, with screenshots and box art showing vaguely angelic (or at least non-demonic) vistas and enemies to be fought. Because of course, the Doom Slayer would be able to tear Heaven down too.

==Doom: The Board Game==
Yes, there is a Board Game - made by [[Fantasy Flight Games]] no less - giving the vague '/tg/ related' qualifications this site uses.
It was released around the time Doom 3 was released, though it wasn't that remarkable and is pretty hard to find nowadays.

One guy plays the baddies, the other 1-4 players play a band of unfortunate marines. The heroes start with 2-3 powerup cards, and the baddies get 5 cards from his own deck and during the game, he gets to draw more (the rate of which is equal to how many marines there are) and if his deck is empty, he gets to insta-kill one of the Marines. His guys are more varied in their movement but they can only shoot once.

The marines have three options: move 8 spaces without shooting, move 4 spaces and shoot once, or shoot twice without movement. They need to explore the board, find computers and other events as the board provides. The baddies, meanwhile, can either upgrade his monsters or bring more to the board.
Either way, his goal is to score 6 kills on the Marines.

A new board game got released shortly after May 2016 Doom, which, to my understanding, is basically just the same shit as before with a new coat of paint.
* It's different, but not too different. Similar in concept and design, with the main differences seeming to be in how the Marines play, and victory conditions for certain scenarios. Absolutely beautiful models however, and incredibly fun. Highly recommended.

==Movie==
Also (roughly) around the same time as Doom 3 was a movie starring Karl Urban and former WWE superstar Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. It pretty much replaced the whole Hell plot with some genetic experimentation to give people superpowers that only succeeds in creating hyper-aggressive mutants, and a squad of Marines sent to investigate the mayhem. It wasn't that good, with the only really 'good' scene being this one scene where it's all FPS-style like the original games and has monster killing.

Another movie was released in 2019, named ''Doom : Annihilation.'' When asked what they thought about this, id Software simply replied: "We are not involved in the movie."

==External Links==
*[https://doomwiki.org/ Doom Wiki] for all your Doom-related autism needs
*[https://www.doomworld.com/idgames/ /idgames/], the home of pretty much every Doom mod worth playing (and pretty much every Doom mod that isn't worth playing) since 1994.

[[Category:Video Games]][[Category:Awesome]]

Black Dragons

2019-12-10T07:28:03Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:6978:FA3B:1A12:D596:

{{Infobox Spess Mahreen Chapter
|Name = Black Dragons
|Heraldry = [[File:File-Black dragons pad.gif]]
|Battle Cry = Fire and Bone
|Number =
|Founding = [[21st Founding]]
|Successors of = Unknown (believed to be the [[Salamanders]], with gene seed possibly corrupted by [[tyranids]])
|Successor Chapters = None
|Chapter Master = Volos
|Primarch = Possibly [[Vulkan]]
|Homeworld = Gauntlet (semi-mythical, Chapter is officially Fleet-based)
|Specialty = Assault, being baraka-wolverine hybrids
|Strength =
|Allegiance = [[Imperium of Man]]
|Colours = Black with a white Aquila and markings
}}
The '''Black Dragons''' are a [[Space Marine Chapter]] in [[Warhammer 40,000]]. Part of the [[21st Founding|21st or Cursed Founding]], the Black Dragons suffer from mutation like the other Chapters of that founding. Specifically, they suffer from a mutated [[Gene-seed|Ossmodula]], which causes some gnarly bone growths to grow out of their forehead and forearms. It's unknown what mutation the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] was trying to cure, as their Parent Chapter is unknown (they might've actually been trying to make them bigger and stronger- seems lots of Black Dragons are too large to fit regular Power Armour). Heavy speculation is that the Black Dragons are descended from the [[Salamanders]], and those with more pronounced bone extensions are noted to have darker skin, reminiscent of the Salamanders' mutated melanchrome. The "osseovirus" responsible for the mutations was later isolated by the [[Haemonculus]] Coven known as the Hex and used to create the bone-mutating weapons known as the ossefactors.
[[File:Black-dragon-large.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Black Dragons: The official chapter of Baraka and Dudepeel]]
Interestingly, rather than try to cure the bony crests, the Black Dragons instead embraced the mutation, having those with forearm blades coat said blades in adamantium and then inducted into special squads known as "[[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Chapter_Approved/Cursed_Founding#Abominations|Dragon Claws]]", and having them serve as [[Assault Squad|Assault Marines]] (Space Marines + Wolverine/Baraka = [[awesome]]). They also incorporate this embracing of the mutation into their worship and doctrine as a chapter: such as the Chaplain calling upon the Emperor to "Curse thy servants" during prayer. This has raised more than a few eyebrows among the [[Inquisition]], and several Chapters of [[Space Marines]], such as the [[Dark Angels]] and the [[Marines Malevolent]], have refused to fight alongside them (as if anyone wants the MMs anywhere near them, especially Salamanders descendants). Despite this, the Black Dragons are one of the few Chapters of the Cursed Founding still active as part of the [[Imperium of Man]] in late M41, where they committed nine of their ten companies to the [[13th Black Crusade]]. They'd probably get on well with the Space Wolves.

They appear to have gained Primaris reinforcements with the dawn of the Dark Imperium, despite being a Cursed Founding (Or due to being so badass). The new KillTeam release mentions Black Dragon Reivers, and their prominent bone blades being used in KillTeams. however there is a possibility that these are actually just there same marines getting the upgrades neccesary to become primaris marines. as it would not be hard for them due to there mutations to bypass most of the new gene-seed.

There is a novel featuring them, ''The Death of Antagonis''. Quite a nice read, even while the description is misleading; the front and back covers feature Black Dragons fighting zombies, and while that does happen it's barely a third of the book. The last zombie "disappears" around page 90, and Exterminatus is declared 20 pages later; the next 200 pages take place on city world Aeghis Mortis and the main enemies are Tzeentchian marines lead by a Rogue Cardinal who is on a jolly trip to discover a world engine. One member of the chapter gets convinced by an Inquisitor to try and purge his mutated brothers, but when they both fall to Chaos he gets his ass killed for treachery and not embracing his brothers' mutations as a means to be even more effective killing machines. Not to mention the asshole Inquisitor got his stomach slit open by a pissed off Canoness.

{{Marines-Official}}

AIDS

2019-12-10T07:15:08Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:6978:FA3B:1A12:D596:

'''AIDS''' is an acronym meaning "Acquired ImmunoDeficiency Syndrome", though those who have not wholly escaped the 80s still refer to it as "Anally Inflicted Death Sentence". Seen by many as a tragic disease, others see it for what it truly is; an unrivaled source of [[lulz]].

fa/tg/uys believe that AIDS was created by Nurgle, who then gifted it to Slaanesh out of love.

Thankfully, Slaanesh has not caught on to use it as his/her/its version of Nurgle's Rot to spread his, ummm... joy... although if it was, it was most likely be called Slaanesh's High.

The /b/tard phrase ''"enjoy your AIDS"'' translates into rational, sane English as ''"you are about to embark, or have just embarked upon, a very foolish act that will cause you great suffering in the near future"'', with the implication''" ...and you deserve to suffer for being so reckless."'' When translated into Fratboy English, it sounds like ''"Duuude, you are gonna get so fucked."''

Some activities that require AIDS-enjoyment include:
* Tau soldiers using a blitzkrieg rush to get into CC (close-combat) range of enemy troops. This definition got a little outdated in 7th ed when Tau got new urban combat "Breacher Squads" who shoot more effectively when in CC range.
* [[Chenkov|Fielding an Imperial Guard army without vehicles, and using the extra points to purchase an overwhelming amount of infantry instead]].
* Spending the points to have [[Doomrider]] in your Chaos Marines army.{{BLAM|'''SILENCE MORTAL!!! DOOMRIDER IS AWESOME'''}}.
* Putting 6-8 minions into a melee against a rogue with [[Bloody Path]].
* Assassinating a DMPC, or the DM's girlfriend's character. (Like the DM has a girlfriend!)
* Fielding Chaos Sp-...[[Chaos Spawn|you know what's]]. No-- this cannot be-- I never sai- AAAHHHHH! GLARBLRAWRGLARBL
*Doing what the previous author just did and mention [[Chaos_Spawn|you know what, I don't have to spell it out.]]
* Challenging Angron to a duel.
* Being an enemy and existing in the same table as Horus.
* Existing near [[Kharn]], ''even if you're not an enemy'' (he's a cool guy tho).
* [[Dark Eldar|'''DARK ELDAR''']]
* [[Rubric Marines|Doctor's Ahriman's little side effect for the most glorious idea for curing mutations!]]
* Getting additional Force Organization charts for more [[Pyrovore|Pyrovores]], filling your minimum troops requirements with ripper swarms with no upgrades, and using Tyranid Primes as your mandatory HQ choices. And not putting them in Tyrannocytes.
* Playing [[FATAL]].

[[Category:Meme]]

AIDS

2019-12-10T07:14:00Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:6978:FA3B:1A12:D596:

'''AIDS''' is an acronym meaning "Acquired ImmunoDeficiency Syndrome", though those who have not wholly escaped the 80s still refer to it as "Anally Inflicted Death Sentence". Seen by many as a tragic disease, others see it for what it truly is; an unrivaled source of [[lulz]].

fa/tg/uys believe that AIDS was created by Nurgle, who then gifted it to Slaanesh out of love.

Thankfully, Slaanesh has not caught on to use it as his/her/its version of Nurgle's Rot to spread his, ummm... joy... although if it was, it was most likely be called Slaanesh's High.

The /b/tard phrase ''"enjoy your AIDS"'' translates into rational, sane English as ''"you are about to embark, or have just embarked upon, a very foolish act that will cause you great suffering in the near future"'', with the implication''" ...and you deserve to suffer for being so reckless."'' When translated into Fratboy English, it sounds like ''"Duuude, you are gonna get so fucked."''

Some activities that require AIDS-enjoyment include:
* Tau soldiers using a blitzkrieg rush to get into CC (close-combat) range of enemy troops. This definition got a little outdated in 7th ed when Tau got new urban combat "Breacher Squads" who shoot more effectively when in CC range.
* [[Chenkov|Fielding an Imperial Guard army without vehicles, and using the extra points to purchase an overwhelming amount of infantry instead]].
* Spending the points to have [[Doomrider]] in your Chaos Marines army.{{BLAM|'''SILENCE MORTAL!!! DOOMRIDER IS AWESOME'''}}.
* Putting 6-8 minions into a melee against a rogue with [[Bloody Path]].
* Assassinating a DMPC, or the DM's girlfriend's character. (Like the DM has a girlfriend!)
* Fielding Chaos Sp-...[[Chaos Spawn|you know what's]]. No-- this cannot be-- I never sai- AAAHHHHH! GLARBLRAWRGLARBL
*Doing what the previous author just did and mention [[Chaos_Spawn|you know what, I don't have to spell it out.]]
* Challenging Angron to a duel.
* Being an enemy and existing in the same table as Horus.
* Existing near [[Kharn]], ''even if you're not an enemy'' (he's a cool guy tho).
* '''[[DARK ELDAR]]'''
* [[Rubric Marines|Doctor's Ahriman's little side effect for the most glorious idea for curing mutations!]]
* Getting additional Force Organization charts for more [[Pyrovore|Pyrovores]], filling your minimum troops requirements with ripper swarms with no upgrades, and using Tyranid Primes as your mandatory HQ choices. And not putting them in Tyrannocytes.
* Playing [[FATAL]].

[[Category:Meme]]

AIDS

2019-12-10T07:13:17Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:6978:FA3B:1A12:D596:

'''AIDS''' is an acronym meaning "Acquired ImmunoDeficiency Syndrome", though those who have not wholly escaped the 80s still refer to it as "Anally Inflicted Death Sentence". Seen by many as a tragic disease, others see it for what it truly is; an unrivaled source of [[lulz]].

fa/tg/uys believe that AIDS was created by Nurgle, who then gifted it to Slaanesh out of love.

Thankfully, Slaanesh has not caught on to use it as his/her/its version of Nurgle's Rot to spread his, ummm... joy... although if it was, it was most likely be called Slaanesh's High.

The /b/tard phrase ''"enjoy your AIDS"'' translates into rational, sane English as ''"you are about to embark, or have just embarked upon, a very foolish act that will cause you great suffering in the near future"'', with the implication''" ...and you deserve to suffer for being so reckless."'' When translated into Fratboy English, it sounds like ''"Duuude, you are gonna get so fucked."''

Some activities that require AIDS-enjoyment include:
* Tau soldiers using a blitzkrieg rush to get into CC (close-combat) range of enemy troops. This definition got a little outdated in 7th ed when Tau got new urban combat "Breacher Squads" who shoot more effectively when in CC range.
* [[Chenkov|Fielding an Imperial Guard army without vehicles, and using the extra points to purchase an overwhelming amount of infantry instead]].
* Spending the points to have [[Doomrider]] in your Chaos Marines army.{{BLAM|'''SILENCE MORTAL!!! DOOMRIDER IS AWESOME'''}}.
* Putting 6-8 minions into a melee against a rogue with [[Bloody Path]].
* Assassinating a DMPC, or the DM's girlfriend's character. (Like the DM has a girlfriend!)
* Fielding Chaos Sp-...[[Chaos Spawn|you know what's]]. No-- this cannot be-- I never sai- AAAHHHHH! GLARBLRAWRGLARBL
*Doing what the previous author just did and mention [[Chaos_Spawn|you know what, I don't have to spell it out.]]
* Challenging Angron to a duel.
* Being an enemy and existing in the same table as Horus.
* Existing near [[Kharn]], ''even if you're not an enemy'' (he's a cool guy tho).
* [['''DARK ELDAR''']]
* [[Rubric Marines|Doctor's Ahriman's little side effect for the most glorious idea for curing mutations!]]
* Getting additional Force Organization charts for more [[Pyrovore|Pyrovores]], filling your minimum troops requirements with ripper swarms with no upgrades, and using Tyranid Primes as your mandatory HQ choices. And not putting them in Tyrannocytes.
* Playing [[FATAL]].

[[Category:Meme]]

Slaanesh

2019-12-10T07:07:22Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:6978:FA3B:1A12:D596: /* Introduction: The Slaanesh Inquisition */

[[File:Slaanesh_mark.png|center]]
{{awesome}}
{{heresy}}
{{Promotions}}
{{/d/}}
{{sick|The hermaphrodite goddess of rape who wants to eat everyone's souls and rape them forever.}}

[[Image:Slaanesh_by_baklaher-d7dvohn.jpg|thumb|500px|right|Slaanesh... tempting you to join a [[rape|party in which you will never forget...]] [[Rule 34|also now in even more NSFW!]]]]

'''''PORN FOR THE PORN GOD! SMUT FOR THE SMUT THRONE! RAPE FOR THE RAPE TRAIN! - The Motto that Slaanesh wants YOU to believe in'''''

{{Topquote|Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.|Dr. Frank-N-Furter, Rocky Horror Picture Show}}

{{Topquote|To be loved, feelings must be rationed. To love, the doors of hysteria, fantasy, and madness may be flung open.|Anton LaVey}}

{{Topquote|An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom.|Charles Baudelaire}}

{{Topquote|Everything is good when it is excessive.|Donatien-Alphonse-François, AKA Marquis de Sade}}

{{Topquote|Blood does more than turn me on, it makes me cum. And more than the sight of it, I love the taste of it. The taste of hot, freshly killed blood... Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth are my politics! Filth is my life! Take whatever you like.|Divine, Pink Flamingoes}}

==Introduction: The Slaanesh Inquisition==
[[Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|thumb|500px|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated.] Wait, one whip is held in the hand and the other is held in the...]]
Behold '''Slaanesh''', also known as '''Shaarnor (to [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Elves and some humans]]), Shornaal (to [[Warriors of Chaos|humans and some Elves]]), The Dark Prince, the Lord of Excess, Leviathan, Lord of the Labyrinth, The Sweet Transvestite, The Lusty Argonian Maid, the Colossal Pervert''' '''the Ultimate Trap''' and multiple other names. Slaanesh is the [[Chaos God]] of [[/d/|perversion, Hentai]], [[Extra Heresy|shamelessness]], [[Furry|excess]], [[Rebecca Black|the most disgusting Pop Music in the history of ever]]. Heretical Fa/tg/uys cannot resist the most disgusting [[heresy]] of masturbating furiously to Slaanesh and their [[daemonette]]s.

Slaanesh was 'born' (read: actively began to do shit rather than just being some nebulous, mostly-passive entity in the Warp) <s>in the 1800s, when [[Tzeentch]] tricked major film producers to establish a colony in the anarchistic frontiers of California where they could practice their most lecherous vices</s> at the fall of the [[Eldar]], when all their torture, [[rape]], S&M, bondage, decadence, eventually tore the fabric of reality a new one and gave birth to Slaanesh along with the [[Eye of Terror]], killing the majority of their race. Thus, the final chaos god is known as the one that was literally murderfucked into existence. As a result, Slaanesh owns almost every last Eldar soul in the entire galaxy. In the event of an Eldar dying without a spirit stone, she becomes Slaanesh's sex toy for all of eternity day and night forever and ever (excluding Exodites, whose soul will automatically go to their planet's world spirit and Harlequins, who are scooped up by the [[Cegorach|great clown]] himself, and the faithful of Ynnead). That is why Eldar are willing to manipulate entire worlds into [[Exterminatus|exterminating]] each other just to save one of their own. The [[Dark Eldar]] takes this up to eleven by sacrificing other souls to Slaanesh so that they don't get eaten. [[Khorne]] hates Slaanesh because their a prissy little shit, but Slaanesh doesn't care about Khorne, or any of the other Chaos Gods, until their done playing with themself, which is about 1 nanosecond every millennium, so about 13 nanoseconds total so far. Rumors that their relationship is beyond hate and occasional angry sex are just that; Khorne is not telling ( though Mork and Gork are alluding to some exceedingly voracious tales.)

Of course, that paragraph is Slaanesh's WH40K history. In WHFB, Slaanesh has no real backstory and sort of just came out of nowhere like the other Chaos gods.

Among other things, Slaanesh is the god of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. They're fueled by excess and pleasure, which means gratuitous amounts of anything generally fall under its influence. This actually becomes a big problem for Khorne, the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]] and the other Chaos Gods, whose worshipers have to constantly try not to enjoy themselves too much lest they end up feeding the Warp's whipping bitch. Especially when the Inquisition is all too enthusiastic about whipping heretics.

Many horny juveniles who have just found Warhammer seem to be obsessed with Slaanesh being a God(ess) of sexual pleasure. While [[fluff]] claims this is not true, in practical terms Slaanesh is the deity of pleasure, which can be broad. Pleasure can be derived from various sources, as such this can be anything from sex, eating, companionship, and so on and so forth. However, because Chaos is Chaos, Slaanesh is mostly associated with the extremes of pleasure. Lechery, gluttony, extreme masochism, and the likes, are the pleasures their followers partake in because Slaanesh's credo is to experience everything to the fullest. This basically means: why settle for one loving wife to have sex with you when you can have a hive world of loving concubines to satiate your desires? Or why eat one disgustingly expensive luxury meal when you could eat a Paradise world's supply of the stuff? Why just resort to cutting yourself to feel the pleasure of pain when you could be chopping off lumps of your flesh to heighten the sensation of pain?

One would think that if, as claimed, Slaanesh was the lord of all ''pleasure'' then Slaanesh would be omnipotent because, in the end, biological and psychological fact tells us that every living thing with a fucking Neuron does anything simply because to feel pleasure and escape pain (the "pleasure principle").

Even [[Khorne]], their opposite, feels pleasure in killing, and Tzeentch feels pleasure in [[Just as Planned]]. That is why 40k lore tends to focus on Slaanesh as a God of the most disgusting pleasures ever, not as a God of all pleasure. Additionally, in the [[fluff]], it does state that most pleasures (like regular love or the desire to eat) that might be covered under the "pleasure principle" are too "weak" to sustain Slaanesh. Slaanesh being usually named the "God of Excess" it's more that they gain power from OVER-indulging in the small things like sex and eating, which in 40k is actually more rare than people would think. Considering that it's damn hard for anyone to get more than a piece of stale toast and a dry handjob before a grueling 48 hours of avoiding death in the name of the Emprah in the far corner of some forgotten forge-world, the only way to get enough sex, drugs, and partying in to impress Slaanesh on your average imperial world, is to be a ruthless, controlling, evil, bastard. (''It is worth noting that GW seems to have picked up somewhat on this fact. As of the latest daemon codex it does mention that Slaanesh has a particular way of influencing the other chaos gods and that they are all weary of them given that they draw some strength from the extreme behaviours they promote in their followers and are subject to themselves.'')

Slaanesh is also associated with the arts and creativity, as creativity means pursuing one's own personal desires. Self-indulgence and personal expression are the bedrock of the arts, after all. Those attracted to Slaanesh could theoretically be more than just aristocratic ravers, but also particularly eccentric artists, writers, etc. Slaanesh is Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll in the purest sense of the word; not just the orgy after the concert, but the brilliant concert that caused the orgy to begin with. One could assume that, in order to prevent Slaanesh's influence from spreading, the Imperium of Man would censor not just content but style. A radically structured poem, a painting with hints of sexual content, even a deviation from traditional chord structures would presumably bring the Inquisition to your doorstep.

If Slaanesh had a voice actor, it would be [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc80tFJpTuo Tim Curry] and/or Tilda Swinton.

==What? Warhammer?==
[[File:Slaanesh Old.jpg|thumb|right|150px|The first depiction of Slaanesh in Warhammer art.]]
In the new [[Age of Sigmar]] setting, Slaanesh has gone missing. Tyrion and Malerion worked together to capture Slaanesh, unknowningly helped along by the machinations of Tzeentch. Thus Slaanesh has been removed from the Pantheon of Chaos and replaced by the [[Horned Rat]]. Derp. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIMg2Xw4_8s While it was thought Slaanesh is being kept in a hidden warehouse while Tyrion works him/her over to make Slaanesh give back Aliathra's soul], this is revealed to be mostly true. There was speculation that Slaanesh has been removed as an active part of Age of Sigmar in some attempt by [[Games Workshop]] to make the game more accessible to children. [[Derp|Somehow, they failed to take into account that an incredibly grimdark game with very complicated rules and such a high price of entry isn't going to be popular among kiddies anyways]]. They may be doing this so parents won't be put off by the game and be willing to buy it for their children and to get past the media watchdogs to make the game more mainstream; but that most likely won't work [[Games Workshop|due to reasons discussed on GW's page here]].
[[File:AoSBeholdSlaanesh.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Slaanesh imprisoned: Unable to decide which dildo to use first, Slaanesh is effectively neutralized! Ingenious! (Also, to answer the question you never asked, Slaanesh is not circumcised. Seriously, take a close look at where those chains pierce)]]

Yet hope for Slaanesh faction lovers still remains. With Slaanesh missing, his forces have split between those trying to find and free Slaanesh (the refer to themselves as Seekers), those who are trying to claim their former master's position (they are referred to as Pretenders and consists of every Chaos Lord and Keeper of Secrets that wants to claim their former masters position as the new god of depravity) and those who have continued to be allied to Archaon in his wars against the Mortal Realms (who are referred to as Invaders). This last faction is currently the biggest and is the main Slaanesh force fighting Order; it is mostly being led by Slaanesh's greater daemons who lead Slaanesh's demonic and mortal followers but some have actually looked to venerating Archaon as their replacement deity.

With the release of the Daughter of Khaine battletome it's revealed that Slaanesh have been trapped in the void space between Ulgu (Realm of Shadows) and Hysh (Realm of Light) by the collective work of [[Tyrion]] and [[Teclis]], now gods of the Hysh, [[Malekith|Malerion]], god of Shadow, and [[Morathi]]. There the elf gods are slowly taking back the elf souls the Chaos god had devoured after the End Times, reforging them to their liking, while Slaanesh is trapped in a position that will make it impossible for him to escape. That is, unless Morathi cast a spell to get more souls than it was initially planned for her to receive, a spell that would weaken the chains that are keeping Slaanesh trapped, which of course she did. Now Slaanesh is ever so slowly getting further from Hysh and closer to Ulgu, which enabled Slaanesh's followers to learn where he was. The only things standing in their way are the fact that they can't reach Slaanesh's prison, the elf gods and their forces. Even then, Slaanesh might eventually be able to free itself.

With the announcement of Realm of Chaos: Wrath and Rapture, it appears GW is ready to bring Slaanesh back to the 40k and AoS universes, along with a (daemonic) host of new models. And this did come to pass... Though it isn't as grand as many would have hoped. It has been revealed that the 66 chains holding Slaanesh (real subtle, GW) can be broken by certain depraved or powerful acts, ie, an excess of anger from Khorne, or a Stormhost turning on the people they protect (which did happen and was engineered by Slaanesh taking a leaf from Tzeentch's book). Having broken a handful of the chains Slaanesh cast illusions to prevent the elves from discovering this, and if the majority of chains get shattered Slaanesh will be strong enough to break the rest. If Slaanesh ever did escape, he would immediately try and engulf all of Ulgu and Hysh, securing two whole realms and thereby winning the great game though Khorne would object violently, as would Archaon.

== Followers ==
[[File:Slaanesh Banners.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Slaaneshi banners.]]
Slaanesh attracts mortal followers from those seeking to become charismatic and popular, but instead corrupts them to become [[Chris-Chan|colossal perverts]]; alternatively, she may attract followers from those who are already [[Ultramarines|colossal perverts]], and corrupt them to become more charismatic and popular. [[Just as planned]].

Alternatively, Slaanesh sometimes finds those in the mortal realm with far more looks than brains to approach and give them everything they could ever want because she tells them that they simply deserve it, with nothing expected in return...other than them turning into a collossal egotistical hedonist with no sense of responsibility, right and wrong, or empathy as they fuck over creation on whim or for the lulz due to the ultimate entitlement complex possible.

Slaanesh and Khorne actually compete for the same pool of followers more often than you'd think, which is part of their bitter rivalry. A good rule of thumb is this: if a warrior wants to be the ''best'', gets his thrills from making that perfect shot, that perfect move, [[/v/|that perfect 360 noscope,]] to [[powergamer|hone his or her skills the sharpest they can ever be]], or debasing their foes, they're Slaaneshi. If the thrill lies in just killing people-- the pure joy of murder-- and the skill is just a way of facilitating that, they're Khornate. Slaaneshi types also get off on the sensory overload rather than actual killing, even pain. See the Emperor's Children who get carved up by Raven Guard and won't fight back because the feeling of lightning claws dicing them up is too damn blissful. [[Troll|They also get off on the reactions they get from others]]- for example, the loyalist who Lucius tricks into slaughtering his own men.

When things come to more "social" followers, Slaanesh competes with Tzeentch, as followers of both are known for being a silver-tongued manipulative dicks with a huge hard-on for power. Here the difference lies in that Slaaneshi followers seek power for their own gain, usually through charismatic speeches and the like, while Tzeenchians often have more altruistic goals or are more interested in a process of gaining power than actually getting it, intentionally raising the challenge to impossible level just to feed their ambitions, for which they'd use the exchange of favors, blackmail, and other such forms of social politicking. The 'huge hard-on' part is also much more [[Heresy|literal]] in Slaanesh's case.

Apart from [[AIDS|the obvious]], Slaanesh and Nurgle rarely have any interaction. There was the matter of the [[Isha|qt Eldar waifu]] Slaanesh wanted to keep for [[/d/|some]] [[rape|after-party]] [[FATAL|entertainment]], but since Nurgle is a fa/tg/uy at heart he couldn't resist claiming the elf waifu for himself. But they're mostly over that... mostly. Otherwise, their domains are just too different that they don't overlap all that much. Those who are ambitious and feel they deserve better choose Slaanesh, while those who give up or accept their lot fall into Nurgle's open, sweaty arms. Conflict occurs, but love of the self and love of others aren't as mutually exclusive as the desire to destroy and the desire to create, or a demand for the spotlight against careful orchestration.

[[File:Slaaneshi Forces.JPG|thumb|right|500px|Slaaneshi forces in their realm.]]

Slaanesh units are:
* '''[[Daemonettes]]''', hideous crab-clawed hermaphrodites or seductive scythe-clawed elf-girls depending on which fluff you choose to believe, fa/tg/uys love Daemonettes and spend much time eagerly awaiting the drawfags to provide them with moar heresy. Some fluff seems to suggest that they're hot elf girls until they decide it's time to rip your face off, at which point they become something more akin to the BDSM glam-rock black-eyed lobster women seen in the current models. Moreover, they're supposedly attractive to the beholder (though these are often xenophobic assholes and thus only consider themselves beautiful) - this means that it is very likely that their appearance is entirely subject to the individual desires of whomever is perceiving them. This is represented by their hermaphroditic/androgynous appearance, supposedly rendering them attractive regardless of preference or sexuality. Their monstrous nature is a juxtaposition of slender sensuality and horrible, flesh-tearing daemonic claws. Like many Daemons, their appearance is supposed to be highly varied, which is never represented in the models unless you combine all the old and new, modify heavily, and use [[Raging Heroes|proxies]] randomly. Daemonettes are created by Slaanesh's waking thoughts, popping into existence as she contemplates trolling Khorne, destroying a civilization from within, or getting off.
* '''[[Seekers of Slaanesh]]''', Daemonettes mounted upon [[Steeds of Slaanesh]] which are the mix of an aardvark and a raptor [[dinosaur]]; fast and lots of attacks for not much points, prone to dying in a hail of arrow/bolter fire.
* '''[[Fiends of Slaanesh]]''', large creatures that look like a bizarre cross between an aardvark and a scorpion with rows of breasts, these are created when Slaanesh dreams (because apparently Chaos Gods sleep). They're basically if a Daemonette and a Seeker had a child.
* '''[[Seeker Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', hard hitting unit/squad-wipe models, this is whom you call for when you need that pesky [[tarpit]] removed. Right now. From other end of the board. Be cautious though, these things need protection like grimoire and preferrably invisibility,or at least [[Distraction Carnifex|target mitigation]] to live long enough to do their job since they are big targets with juicy 10 armor all round. Also never ever position yourself so that the enemy could have even remote chance of charging these things: even squad of retarded [[Tau|fire warriors]] or some [[High Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Spearmen]] can take these chariots down in melee if they get the charge. These things live and die by the hammer of wrath attacks, use them accordingly. Also comes in the "Exalted Seeker Chariot" variant, which is literally just a larger Seeker Chariot crewed by higher ranked Daemonettes.
* '''[[Hellflayer Chariots of Slaanesh]]''', what happens when you combine enough Chariots to make Daemonettes literally [[/d/|dripping]] with excitement at being in battle.
* '''[[Warriors of Chaos]]''', not-Vikings/Mongols who live in the desolate north of Warhammer Fantasy and fight against each other when not raiding the rest of the world. The closer to the [[Warp Gates]] they are, the more like living Daemons while the furthest south are generally only concerned with survival and not offending gods.
* '''[[Beastmen]]''', the rapist omnivorous (in every sense of the word) animal-mutants that infest the world. Beastmen serve all of Chaos, some serve specific gods more than others but few serve one entirely. Live to literally and canonically shit on civilization and order. Ironically treated like shit by all of the rest of Chaos. Slaanesh, in keeping with the trend, allows his followers to fuck their women and drink their wine.
* '''[[Keepers Of Secrets]]''', Slaanesh's Greater Daemons, like a Daemonette on steroids, ecstasy and Viagra. Created intentionally from Slaanesh's own darkest thoughts and desires, rather than the Daemonettes/Seekers/Fiends which are created passively, each is radically different (even though there's only been three different models, one of which is long out of production). Geniuses capable of turning entire armies to their side, or destroying civilizations. The default leaders of almost any Slaaneshi army, unless lead by a...
* '''[[Daemon Prince]]''', a human (with [[Dechala|one Elf]] as the exception) so devout to Slaanesh that they managed to become a Daemon. In Fantasy this is usually, but not always, a Warriors of Chaos Champion who made the perilous journey of getting not to little or too much attention while in her service.

=== 40k ===
* '''[[Chaos Space Marines]]''', the traitor marines of the [[Emperor's Children|third legion]] worship Slaanesh exclusively, as do warbands such as the Angels of Ecstasy and the Flawless Host. They also make up a large chunk of the Black Legion, as the Children of Torment.
** '''[[Noise Marines]]''', the specialist traitors dedicated to Slaanesh, akin to Khorne's [[Berserkers]], Nurgle's [[Plague Marines]] or Tzeentch's [[Thousand Sons]]. Aural-focused traitors who specialise in using [[Sonic Weaponry]] because the cacophony is the only thing that can register on their jaded senses anymore. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berghain Can be found IRL also.]

=== Fantasy ===
* '''[[Dark Elves (Warhammer Fantasy)|Druchii]]''', the Warhamer Fantasy evil Elves who are the highest ranking worshipers of Slaanesh, who they call Shornaal, in the [[Cult Of Slaanesh|Cult Of Pleasure]]. In most of the games history (4 editions out of 8 total, the first two having virtually no story whatsoever), Dark Elves had their origin in their Queen [[Morathi]] being the high priestess of Slaanesh, who corrupted her [[Malekith|son]] and about half the Elf race. While most Dark Elves torture and kill in the name of [[Khaine]], Morathi lead a cult of Chaos Elves and regularly allied with other Slaaneshi factions (other than Beastmen, because Morathi kept [[Harpies|her own]] as pets and shits on all others like a good Chaos character should). In later editions, Chaos Elves were retconned away into worshipers of [[Atharti]], [[Hekarti]], and [[Ereth Khial]], three Elven Slaanesh-expy gods, in order to redo the Dark Elf faction as evil Elves who ally with other Elves in the interest of mutual survival instead of evil Elves who just want to watch the world burn while a slave who's skin has been torn off gives them oral. This choice split many fans, some asking why Elves should worship Slaanesh when they have Khaine instead of Khorne, others asking why they worship Khaine when Khorne is better.

==Potential semi-retcon of Slaanesh in 40k==
With the release of "Rise of the Ynnari: Wild Rider" we now have daemons of Slaanesh making an appearance during the [[War in Heaven]]? Now this could be just a case of timey wimey Warp shenanigans but it could also be an indication of something else! What if Slaanesh's "birth" was actually more akin to a rebirth of something far older; the original sin if you were.

It is known that even before the Fall agents of Slaanesh were already at large in the galaxy and actively seeking to bring it into being. If Slaanesh did indeed have a presence all the way back in the War in Heaven then perhaps it has always been there, seeking a way to return, as opposed to beginning to gestate within the Empyrean during the conflict itself.

Slaanesh isn't all about sex, [[Drug|drugs]] and more sex, but actually fits all of the seven deadly sins rather well: [[/d/|Lust]], [[RAGE|Wrath]], [[Blood Ravens|Greed]], [[Perturabo|Envy]], [[Giles|Gluttony]], [[Lazy Marines|Sloth]] and [[Cato Sicarius|Pride]] all fall under Slaanesh's domain; each of which play key roles in the other God's spheres of influence also. Of course these are taken to their extremes, as is Slaanesh's trade mark, but even the other Chaos Gods are extremes in their own way, and though they are all placed above the Dark Prince in terms of power they all may "fear" the influence that Slaanesh has the potential to hold over them and are very wary that the Dark Prince may eventually eclipse them all in power.

The War in Heaven is essentially the event(s) that created "Hell" in 40k as many races with a presence in the warp fought and died in the conflict, so it makes sense that there must have been an "original Satan"-like figure as well. Of course, this could be looking too much into this and talking out of our collective arse, but what with Slaanesh in [[Age of Sigmar]] no longer being counted amongst the Four, it opens up a lot of possibilities for when the Dark Prince does eventually return.

== Facts ==
[[File:Nope.jpg|200px|right|thumb|Alright, who's next for "Purifying"?]]
* [[Ynnead]] is secretly Slaanesh
*[[Sanguinius]] is jealous of Slaanesh because they are the only one more fabulous than hi-{{BLAM}}
* Slaanesh wants to fuck the Emperor, but every time they try, the Big E psychically bitch-slaps them, destroys all their sex toys and sex slaves and breaks their hands so they can't fap for a while.
* Slaanesh knows that you can't spell happiness without penis.
** Slaanesh is dyslexic.
***Slaanesh also knows that you can't spell dyslexic without sex
* The title of Slaanesh's greatest mortal champion is owned by Shädman''(ayyyyy)''
* Slaanesh is bitching over the fact how their only representation in the DoW series was the [[Emperor's Children]] paint scheme. And they aren't even Slaaneshi like, they're just a generic chaos army. Although, their did grant favor to Eliphas for smashing a ton of soulstones. (And their colours aren't even correct.)
**However, concerning stated above, the developers have added noise marines for Dawn of war 2: Retribution. This has made Slaanesh quite happy. However, he/she/it is still <s>pissed off of not getting enough representation</s> OFFENDED BY THIS SILENCE, considering Nurgle gets Plague Champion hero, the Plague Marine Tier 2 unit, and the Epic Great Unclean One daemon, Khorne then gets the Khornate Chaos Lord, Bloodletters and Bloodcrushers, while Tzeentch gets the Sorcerer hero, has the most effective upgrade for the basic CSM squad (Warpfire bolts make everything in front of them shit brix and was flat out broken in earlier versions of its introduction), and all of the Anti-armor upgrades, while they only get a single unit that frankly eclipsed by either Plague Marines or generic Havocs with an autocannon.
* Charlie Sheen is their first true Daemon Prince (though he was recently diagnosed with HIV which resulted from his sexcapades, so looks like he could swing towards [[Nurgle]]. But just like [[Fulgrim]] his body probably needs to be destroyed first before he can ascend). It was nearly Malcolm Mcdowell, on account of Mcdowell's filmography including two of Slaanesh's favorite films (see below) and Mcdowell's hedonistic younger years; before Charlie had even reached puberty, Mcdowell was already far into sex and drugs both in his films and real-life. But as he got older, Mcdowell turned away from hedonism and cleaned himself up. Other contenders include Gene Simmons, Johnny Depp and Tila Tequila.
* Slaanesh gets beaten up/off by all of the other Chaos Gods on a fairly regular basis, and gets off on it.
* If it exists, [[PROMOTIONS|Slaanesh faps/shlicks/shlaps to it]].
* Tzeentch likes to trick Slaanesh into fighting Khorne to get his daily dose of lulz. Slaanesh always loses these fights pretty badly; and each time, Slaanesh takes it pretty hard. [[C.S.Goto|And this pleases them.]]
* Slaanesh is secretly depressed that have no friends. Khorne is a dick, and Tzeentch is the biggest dick there is. Nurgle is nice, but Slaanesh can't get over the fact that he cucked them. ("Can't get over it" in both a [[PROMOTIONS|positive]] and [[RAGE|negative]] sense.)
** Also, Nurgle has ''all'' the STDs, which would make him Slaanesh's natural enemy out in the wild. Isha's immunity to all diseases is better than any protection, which is a pretty substantial reason why Slaanesh liked her.
* Slaanesh gets bullied by all the other Chaos Gods constantly because none of them like him/her/it. This does not upset the balance, though, because Slaanesh likes BDSM where they being bullied and tortured by the other Chaos Gods.
* Slaanesh is Tzeentch's second favorite victim for his hijinks, because it's oh so easy to string them along with offers of porn, whores, BDSM and/or drugs.
* Khorne [[Rip and Tear|regularly tears off Slaanesh's arms]] and beats them over the head with them (Again, this inadvertently makes Slaanesh orgasm).
* Slaanesh was doping when they killed the Eldar Gods, they couldn't really beat them all without using performance enhancing drugs. (at least that what Khaine, a god of war and destruction, keeps insisting when ever someone asks him why he got both figuratively and possibly literally raped by a god(ess) of sex drugs and rock'n'roll)
** Slaanesh is always on drugs (Except psychiatric medication, they kill sex drive down to the very biology)
* Slaanesh attempted to fight the Nightbringer in a desperate attempt to win back some street cred, they got their left boob cut off for their trouble. It hurt so bad/good that it retroactively cut off the left boobs of all of Slaanesh's greater daemons and that's why they all only have one boob (or six). Given the new backstory and their time of birth, this means that Slaanesh lost against a Necron Pokémon.
* Slaanesh is a great patron of the arts. Their favourite films include:
** Hellraiser: Slaanesh's number one film. In fact, they took a lot of inspiration on many of the movie's aspects... <strike>That is, of course, a lie. They actually ripped off Hellraiser.</strike> Hellraiser ripped them off. Slaanesh had a cameo appearance in the sequel dressed as a lozenge.
** A Serbian Film: Slaanesh's second favorite movie. They already started putting NEWBORN PORN into her/his daily schedule.
** Pink Flamingos: Slaanesh's third favourite movie, which is actually a film adaptation of Slaanesh's journal. Slaanesh especially enjoyed the depictions of their hobbies (including bestiality, scat fetishes and vore), that the movie quotes them directly (see Divine's quote above).
** A Clockwork Orange: One of Slaanesh's favorite movies; not so much the book it was adapted from as it was less about sex and more a commentary on the nature of morality. (Although Slaanesh faps/shlicks to commentaries on morality too.) They like to jerk-off at many of the movie's aspects, but more notably Malcolm Mcdowell's sexy face. They also find the death of one of the characters totally hilarious, due to the fact that said character was killed by a giant rocking ceramic phallus straight to the face. '''BLOWJOB OF DEATH !!! LULZ !!!''' Unbelievable and improbable? Well here's evidence to prove it: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbRSag-L-GQ Giant rocking ceramic phallus attack !!!].
** The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Mostly because of Tim Curry (who is actually Slaanesh).
** Legend: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3J91bPrW9A Also because of Tim Curry, who practically plays a daemon prince of Slaanesh].
** Caligula: The movie written by Gore Vidal for copious amounts of sex, incest and Malcolm Mcdowell as the title character. Slaanesh's favorite scenes are when Caligula engages in an incestuous threesome with his sister and his fiance, and the giant orgies on stage (don't watch the latter if you have a weak stomach - there's a real snake in one scene and [[FATAL|you don't want to know what the woman does with it]]).
** Eyes Wide Shut. Slaanesh has heard the film described as "Just Artsy Porn", but doesn't get the criticism. It's Art and it's Porn. What's not to love?
** Event Horizon: A documentary of how he/she/it is directly responsible for fucking up humanity's first venture into the Warp.
** High Rise: Some say it holds the essence of the one time Slaaneshi and Khaine got jiggy with it.
** Salo or 120 days of Sodom: Slaanesh liked it better when they thought it was real and not just special effects.
** The Stuff: A movie about the time some railroad workers found lakes of Slaanesh's jizz at a quarry and marketed it as dessert food due to its properties, leading to numerous shenanigans and giving Slaanesh much lulz that they never learned where it came from.
* Slaanesh enjoys the Song of Ice and Fire books due to the copious amounts of incest and midget sex and the TV adaption Game of Thrones because they added sex scenes and casting several porn stars on top of this.
* Slaanesh's favorite band is GWAR, because everything with them is sex, drugs, and rock and roll in excess, even covering their audience in jizz, blood, random chemicals, and mixtures of all three, and inciting massive blood orgies constantly.
* Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams is also suspected to be one of the early influences of Slaanesh in human music culture, the singer suspected to be one of his/her/its avatars.
* Slaanesh gets ALL the pussy, as well as all the dick, cloca, ovipositor, stamen, pistil, and pilus.
* Slaanesh tried to seduce all of the remaining C'tan at once. Slaanesh ended up getting the pleasure sensors in its brain lobotomized. S/he got off on this.
* Slaanesh found Captain Flashheart so magnificent in Blackadder that they created a daemon prince in his image. Woof woof!
* Despite psychic powers supposedly being Tzeentch's specialty, Slaanesh's tend to be the really [[cheese|cheesy]] ones. 3rd edition had a minor power called Siren, which forbids the caster from being shot at in the opponent's shooting phase (it's just as broken as it sounds). 4th edition has Lash of Submission, which the Chaos Marine tactics cover the usage of (in a nutshell, GW admitted they didn't realize how good it turned out to be and it was the most used on daemon princes even though the +1I from the required MoS wasn't very useful). And what about 6th edition? While Tzeentchian sorcerers focus on pwning the shit our of enemy with (mediocre) mind bullets and warp-beams, Slaaneshi ones pack a whole lot of cheesy buffs and debuffs, which makes them so much better. Similar deal in Fantasy, where Slaanesh, some of the time, offers a better selection of magic than Tzeentch.
*Slaanesh is the only entity in existence who listens to the My Dad Wrote A Porno podcast purely for erotic purposes. He/she/it cannot understand for the life of him/her/it why no one else finds cervix-grabbing sexy.
** Still, ]they fap/shlick/???-PROFIT at this.
* Considering that Slaanesh is about excess, there might be several other types of Marines besides Noise Marines we don't know about:
** Smell Marines, who use gasses to do whatever they wish through peoples noses, whether it be death, insanity, paralysis, suggestibility, 'seeing colors', and so on, always permanent brain damage. This is a way to get Nurgle followers to convert.
**Sight Marines, whose weapons create wondrously intricate bloom and color effects of equally detailed and aesthetically (only to a branch of masochists masochists can't stand) pleasing. This is a way to get Khorne followers to convert.
** Touch Marines, who know the nervous system better than a Bene Gesserit, able to bring the mightiest warriors down with the right jab in the right spot, consumed with uncontrollable orgasms.
**Taste Marines, think about the spiciest thing you've ever eaten, now imagine that a million times stronger, we are talking Exterminatus level of scovilles here, literally melt your god damn tongue off heat. It's like that only worse. They would use super pepper spray that can literally eat through armor.
*Also, a former Tzeentch follower gone Slaaneshi would be incredibly dangerous: Tzeentch followers understand indeterminism (from a very distorted, cynical perspective) and also see knowledge as power per circumstance to win where force, charisma and economics cannot. A devout Slaaneshi seeks to experience everything. Thus a former Tzeentchian, already well read on enough to convince themselves they experienced it, or well read enough to steal peoples experiences, who became a hedonist addict as well would be left with one desire: to be omnipotent and thus be able to go beyond the limits of mortal imaginings in pursuit of understanding and experience for the sake of understanding and experience.
*Slaanesh tried to get in Khorne's head by seeking to understand the appeal of skulls. Instead Slaanesh got bored and invented the idea of skullfucking. '''{{Blam|DAMN IT SLAANESH WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SKULL THRONE THIS IS DISGUSTING!! IT'S EVERYWHERE!! IT'S OOZING OUT OF EVERY EYE SOCKET!!! I'M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE SIT ON THAT AGAIN AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!}}'''
**Khorne secretly loves it when Slaanesh does this, because now he has even more of an excuse to go out and collect enough skulls to replace it.
*[[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Slaanesh Patrols will skull fuck your family.]]
* Slaanesh secretly wants Khorne. S/he's upset that the 'Special K' hates her/him/it.
**However, if Slaanesh ever did create a copy of him/her/their/itself, then the two would immediately try to murderfuck each other, in a kinky simulacrum of Highlander. This would apply to all of the main ruinous powers, <s>apart from</s> including Nurgle, <s>who would simply hug his</s> whose female double <s>and then get to work with said double on a particularly virulent strain of super aids/crotch rot.</s> would get jealous of Isha and conspire with Slaanesh to get rid of that home-wrecking skank.
*Slaanesh is the patron <s>god</s> <s>goddess</s> deity of bonobos (look them up).

== Gallery ==
{{heresy}}
{{promotions}}
{{/d/}}
<gallery>
Image:Slaaneshi.JPG|Slaanesh followers DO COCAINE!!!!!!!!
Image:Daemonette commisssar.JPG|That's a real [[commissar]], just look at the [[hat]].
Image:Daemonette02.JPG|DDaemonette
Image:Daemonette01.JPG|It's not furry, you can totally fap to it.

Image:Daemonette.JPG
Image:Slaaneshi2.JPG|Why it's good to be Slaanesh follower.
Image:Daemonxmas copy.jpg|Slaanesh can be festive as well.
Image:Lurvemudkipz.JPG|Evidence that it is possible that some [[pokémon]] are susceptible to Chaotic influence.

Image:Slaaneshi mudkips.JPG|Oh god. ;_;
Image:Slaanesh trainer.jpg|There is no excuse or explanation for this.
Image:Slaaneshijack copy.jpg|This image can be used to improve a bad thread.
Image:Irresistible.jpg|Simply Irresistible

Image:Dranon5.jpg|Mr Culexus' interpretation of Slaanesh. Notice the massive bulge in the crotch that's bigger than it's boobs.
Image:Not_too_abysmal_by_Mr_Culexus.jpg|Love can bloom in the galaxy of Transylvania
Image:1271157389405.jpg|What a Slaaneshi raptor would look like by non-GW canon.
Image:daemonette_minerva.png|Who else did you think furries worshiped?

Image:Slaanesh_LAWL.jpg|LAWL
Image:Trapmarine.jpg|Slaanesh Chaos Marines come with a little "extra"...
Image:Trapmarine_BW.jpg|... which may not be so "little".
Image:Daemonette_with_seeker_mount.jpg|She "rides" it... if you know what I mean... no seriously, zoom in if you don't believe me. Although for your sake you really should take my word for it.

Image:643214 - Daemonette Eldar Warhammer 40k howling banshee warhammer yuliapw.jpg|The more common and usual fate of Eldar.
Image:Slaanesh cosplay 1 by zk87-d2zo47q.jpg|Now 262.71% more real!
Image:Slaanesh Time.jpg|You might be mixing up love and lust.
Image:Slaanesh_miniature_closeup.jpg|Gimme some sugar

Image:Slaanesh+hr giger.jpg|H. R. Geiger is pleased
Image:Slaanesh by zk87-d2z4bpv.jpg|Lashes of Torment!
Image:Slaanesh-153102-SweetAngel.jpg|She Who Thirsts indeed
Image:Khorne-and-Slaanesh.jpg|Khorne is sooo tsundere...
Image:Slaanesh by genzoman-d2y8ylf.jpg|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2qT7GylRxw And to think... I hesitated]

Image:Dark_Prince_of_Pleasure_Slaanesh_wfrp.jpg|From the old [[WFRP]] days
Image:MoeSlaanesh.png|How can anyone not want to serve something so utterly <s>adorable</s> heretical?
Image:1419021850273.jpg
Image:Anons_fall_to_Chaos.png|Anon heralds the Age of Strife.
Image:Champion of Slaanesh RL.png| We have the makings of a daemon prince here!
Image:HereticalUseOfChainswords.gif| When you say "Go Fuck Yourself with a Chainsword," Slaanesh will take it literally.
Image:Cultist-chan24.jpg|Slaanesh has improved cultist chan
Image:Wildslaanesh.png|Slaanesh Demon corrupts children
Image:Slaanesh-sorcerer.jpeg|Slaanesh makes the Cenobites from Hellraiser look good.
</gallery>

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever
Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho!
Don't dream it, be it...
Don't dream it, be it...

==See Also==
*[[Dechala]] - The oldest existing Chaos Champion special character of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[Azazel]] - The oldest existing [[Daemon Prince]] of Slaanesh in [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]].
*[[The Masque]] - Slaanesh's former fav fab Daemonette stripper, and current PR rep.
*[[Sigvald]], Slaanesh's favorite not-Caligula/not-Joffrey.
*The [[Emperor's Children]] legion - The largest contingent of sick fucks on this side of the warp. And on that side of the warp.
*[[Fulgrim]] - Primarch of the largest contingent of sick fucks <strike>on this side (and that side) of the warp</strike> ever.
*[[Fabius Bile|Fabulous Bile]] - What you get by combining a self-obsessed homosexual and Dr. Frankenstein, only this one is played by geriatric [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kane_%28wrestler%29 Glenn Jacobs] instead of young Tim Curry.
*[[Lucius]] - Considered by some as the Sickest of Fucks amongst the living.
*[[Doomrider]] - He does COCAINE!
*[[Miriael Sabathiel]] - The <s>first</s> only Sister of Battle to <s>fall to</s> willingly embrace Chaos and champion of Slaanesh.
*[[Daemonette]] - Daemons of Slaanesh. Viewing said content is heretical, in 20 seconds or less after clicking the link, expect a squad of inquisitorial storm troopers to barge-in and blam you to hell.
*[[Reasonable Daemonette]] - Slaanesh's perversion knows no bounds. Hers does, and she respects yours.
*[[Loli D]] - The [[loli]] variant of the Slaaneshi Daemonette. Viewing said content is [[Extra Heresy|extra heretical]]. E-Commissars can and will [[Exterminatus|blam you from your monitor with the utmost prejudice]] if you click on this link.
*http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Slaanesh's_sacrifice.pdf
*[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-gHgcmFB6Q Rick and Morty's visit to the Realm of Slaanesh]
*[https://pastebin.com/5QZMB7nH Excessively Vanilla] - AKA the '''one''' time Slaanesh goes full-on vanilla, including actual marriage, handholding, and under the cover missionary sex for the sole purpose of procreation
{{Template:ChaosGods}}
[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Hedonites of Slaanesh]]

AIDS

2019-12-10T07:05:00Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:6978:FA3B:1A12:D596:

'''AIDS''' is an acronym meaning "Acquired ImmunoDeficiency Syndrome", though those who have not wholly escaped the 80s still refer to it as "Anally Inflicted Death Sentence". Seen by many as a tragic disease, others see it for what it truly is; an unrivaled source of [[lulz]].

fa/tg/uys believe that AIDS was created by Nurgle, who then gifted it to Slaanesh out of love.

Thankfully, Slaanesh has not caught on to use it as his/her/its version of Nurgle's Rot to spread his, ummm... joy... although if it was, it was most likely be called Slaanesh's High.

The /b/tard phrase ''"enjoy your AIDS"'' translates into rational, sane English as ''"you are about to embark, or have just embarked upon, a very foolish act that will cause you great suffering in the near future"'', with the implication''" ...and you deserve to suffer for being so reckless."'' When translated into Fratboy English, it sounds like ''"Duuude, you are gonna get so fucked."''

Some activities that require AIDS-enjoyment include:
* Tau soldiers using a blitzkrieg rush to get into CC (close-combat) range of enemy troops. This definition got a little outdated in 7th ed when Tau got new urban combat "Breacher Squads" who shoot more effectively when in CC range.
* [[Chenkov|Fielding an Imperial Guard army without vehicles, and using the extra points to purchase an overwhelming amount of infantry instead]].
* Spending the points to have [[Doomrider]] in your Chaos Marines army.{{BLAM|'''SILENCE MORTAL!!! DOOMRIDER IS AWESOME'''}}.
* Putting 6-8 minions into a melee against a rogue with [[Bloody Path]].
* Assassinating a DMPC, or the DM's girlfriend's character. (Like the DM has a girlfriend!)
* Fielding Chaos Sp-...[[Chaos Spawn|you know what's]]. No-- this cannot be-- I never sai- AAAHHHHH! GLARBLRAWRGLARBL
*Doing what the previous author just did and mention [[Chaos_Spawn|you know what, I don't have to spell it out.]]
* Challenging Angron to a duel.
* Being an enemy and existing in the same table as Horus.
* Existing near [[Kharn]], ''even if you're not an enemy'' (he's a cool guy tho).
* [[Drukhari|'''DARK ELDAR''']]
* [[Rubric Marines|Doctor's Ahriman's little side effect for the most glorious idea for curing mutations!]]
* Getting additional Force Organization charts for more [[Pyrovore|Pyrovores]], filling your minimum troops requirements with ripper swarms with no upgrades, and using Tyranid Primes as your mandatory HQ choices. And not putting them in Tyrannocytes.
* Playing [[FATAL]].

[[Category:Meme]]