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Cyrus

2020-07-27T03:56:16Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:748C:B105:AA91:7BA4:

[[File:Cyrus_portrait.png|thumb|200px|right|In fact a cunningly camouflaged wheel of cheese.]]
'''Cyrus''' was a [[Scout| Scout Sergeant]] of the [[Blood Ravens]], who debuted in [[Dawn of War II]]. Surprisingly, he <s>previously served in</s> [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|Was '''stolen''' from]] the [[Deathwatch]], from where he gets good knowledge about various aliens. Much like [[Avitus]] is capable of displaying only the emotion of rage, Cyrus provides the squad with a mix of bitching, morbidity, and cynicism, which causes him to play rather badly with the naive Thaddeus, and also causes [[Tarkus]] to call him out, forever demonstrating that the tactical marine sergeant is the bringer of all that is good. On the other hand, Cyrus's outlook does play well with Avitus's, who is angry and morbid, instead of just morbid. In short, Cyrus is more or less the direct opposite of most of [[Steve Blum]]'s other roles. He's also notably hair-etical, like the majority of your strike force, and is distinguished even from Commander Vanilla Ice and Gabe Angelos in having a beard. However, he does call [[Indrick Boreale]] incompetent, which means that he can't be all that bad.

==Dawn of War II==
Cyrus, along with Tarkus and Avitus, accompanies you on the first mission and for the rest of the game. He tends to advocate pragmatism and is the main source of information you have about the Tyranids, having acquired information about them while serving in the Deathwatch. Thaddeus doesn't like him very much on account of his morbid whining, and Tarkus also has some conflicting interactions with him because Cyrus doesn't know when to back off. This is the game where he has his finest moment, highlighting the failure of Indrick Boreale and by extension the eye-bursting fail that was Soulstorm.

==Chaos Rising==
Cyrus goes [[Angry Marines|Angry Marine]] on the ass of a sorcerer who's stealing his scouts, and gains corruption if not brought along to kick the pansy faggot's ass. Given that it's a bunch of soft targets, with a few camped in cover, against missile-toting plague marines and chaos dreadnoughts, it generally goes about as well as you'd expect, which is to say on any difficulty worse than hard, every single initiate gets totaled. He also gives you intel on the forces of chaos that turns out to be complete bullshit, as Tarkus aptly points out. If he does go traitor, he cites the incompetence of Indrick Boreale, [[Eliphas the Inheritor]], [[Azariah Kyras]] and [[Gabriel Angelos]] for fucking up the sector and the Blood Ravens in particular, and decides to ally with [[Ulkair]] to remake the sector to his liking. This indeed proves that he doesn't know what he's talking about, as disparaging the two best characters of the entire [[Dawn of War]] series and a man cunning enough to become a double daemon prince is BALD and FEWLISH. There's also the fact that [[Derp| a scout sergeant tries to take on three terminator squads and a dreadnought, fully expecting to win]], although given that Cyrus is fully capable of completing entire missions on his own, him taking down 3 squishy terminator squads and a dreadnought isn't that too far off his set of skills. Of course, anything trying to take down a tag-team of Davian Thule and Tarkus loses, no discussion. When fighting him, he'll use the very same invisible mine-spamming cheese that you know and love against you.

Cyrus is also quite possibly one of the greatest [[Blood Ravens#Bloody Magpies|Bloody Magpies]] ever. Other Blood Raves only managed to be "gifted" with singular pieces of wargear and such. Cyrus? He managed to convince Eliphas to "gift" him an entire Black Legion strike force.

==Retribution==
Cyrus returns in [[Dawn of War II#Retribution| Retribution]] as a companion to [[Apollo Diomedes]] on the quest to shitkick [[Azariah Kyras]]. For once, his bitching is appreciably useful, as it plays some role in helping Diomedes overcome his pride and recognize Kyras as a traitor. It may also have something to do with the fact that he's bitching at Boreale 2.0 instead of an avatar of the player, and he overall is just less of a whiny emo when he does it. He's usually the one who does the mission briefings, since he's the only one who can really scout. On the whole, he remains almost exactly like he was previously, and continues to be useful on the field while contributing nothing of value otherwise. (So he scouts, provides tactical briefings and performs well in battle? What more should he do, climb out of your computer screen and cook you dinner?)

His incessant bitching about his experience and his bitter temperament makes you want to punch the hormonal douche in his ovaries. On the other hand, he can remain infiltrated indefinitely if you max out his will stat and gets a new trick that lets him fire a whole bunch of sniper shots at once, so he's still pretty useful. That said, his Honor Guard replacement is the only source of Assault Terminators you get in the campaign, so it's not a 100% necessity to bring him to every mission.

==Gameplay==
Surprisingly, the amount of irritation Cyrus evokes in most players is directly proportional to the amount of [[Cheese]] and explosives-based attacks that he brings to your force. Simply put, in both Vanilla DOW II and Chaos Rising, Cyrus is almost always a necessary addition to any force, capable of ravaging just about everything with copious use of demolition charges, remote-detonated bombs, cluster mines, and sniper fire. All of this can be done without breaking infiltration, making him equally capable at reviving fellow squad leaders, killing hordes, and picking off high-value targets. He's also one of the most resource-efficient ways to level enemy bases, solo whole levels, and kill tough vehicles, since refills for his explosives are scattered everywhere on the map. Only missions that dropped you straight into an enemy camp tended to cause any trouble for him, as do auto-detecting bosses like Bonesmasha and the Avatar of Khaine.

While Cyrus was a hefty slice of cheese in Vanilla, [[Chaos Rising]] turned him into a colossal, all-annihilating wheel of dairy. With a relatively simple upgrade, explosives become energy-based instead of limited items, meaning that patience is literally the one thing that's required to kill everything, everywhere, ever. As if that was not enough, the upgrade also makes explosives more potent, letting you toss out clusters of mines that one-shot infantry, walkers, and tanks, and let you easily win defense missions by creating minefields to rival [[Vraks]]. Most everyone on your force gets something similar, so at least Cyrus is slightly more balanced with his comrades; however, most of his comrades can't pull off their tricks while invisible. If you play a mostly non-heretical run, the cheese gets even MORE compounded as his full-purity skill allows him to make stimulants cost energy, making every battle now amount to battles of attrition if you also use [[Blood Ravens Force Commander|Hairgel's Warcry]] or Venerable [[Davian Thule]] to boost his energy. Conveniently, this makes all other healing skills, like Jonah's, absolutely useless. Taking him along with Tarkus and Davian Thule/Jonah Orion is tantamount to instant victory.

He retains the majority of his skillset in Retribution, the most notable enhancement coming in a further buff to his infiltration skills, as he can now regenerate energy while invisible and prance around maps without taking a break to refill his energy reserves, along with the ability to slow down time so he can snipe an entire squad to death in a matter of moments. However, since all explosives and equipment are energy-cost instead of limited use now, he has lost the massive advantage he had in previous installments, and ceded the coveted cheese-throne to [[Eliphas]] and [[Commissar Lord Bernn|Commissar-LORD Bernn]]. Furthermore, with the honor guard that replaces him being [[Awesome|assault terminators]], it's now a valid choice to leave him out of battle, especially when he's underleveled.

==Codex Cyrus==
Now you can take Cyrus as a expensive upgrade (even more so than [[Torias Telion]]) for your Veteran Scout Sergeant. Beware however...for fielding him will result in apocalyptic amounts of [[RAGE]] and [[Cheese]].

{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || I || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Sergeant Cyrus''' || 100 || 4 || 5 || 4 || 4 || 2 || 5 || 2 || 10 || 4+
|}

'''Unit Type''':
* '''Infantry (Character)'''

'''Unit Composition''':
* '''1 Unique'''

'''Wargear''':
* '''Mark of Exitus''': May be replaced with Bringer of Hope or Fury of Mars and Terra for 20 pts, or The Merciful Judge for free.
* '''Scout Armour''': May be replaced with the Pride of the Techpriests for 20 pts.
* '''Camo Cloak''': See Codex Space Marines.
* '''Frag Grenades'''
* '''Krak Grenades'''
* '''Blind Grenades''': See Defensive Grenades.
* '''Cluster Mines'''
* '''Demolition Charge Pack'''
* '''Remote Detonation Pack (Apocalypse Only)'''
* '''Recovery Stimulant Kit'''
* '''Rites of Repair'''

'''Special Rules''':
* '''And They Shall Know No Fear'''
* '''Chapter Tactics (Blood Ravens)''':As per the rules for all Chapters who do not know their primogenitor Chapter, the Blood Ravens do not have a unique Chapter Tactic. Instead, the player can elect to use any existing Chapter Tactics from Codex: Space Marines and any Forge World supplements.
* '''Stealth Superiority''': Cyrus is unmatched when it comes to skills in stealth. Cyrus and the Scout Squad he leads gain the Scout, Stealth, Infiltrate, Acute Senses, Move Through Cover and Outflank USR.
* '''Master Marksman''': When it comes to terminating his targets from any distance, Cyrus will do so with surgical precision. No enemy of the Emperor can escape, nor find any safe haven from the scout sergeant's watchful eye. Cyrus's successful To Hit ranged attacks count as having the Precision Shots and Ignores Cover USR (excluding Snap Shots). Additionally enemy characters suffer a -2 penalty to their Look Out, Sir! tests against any Wounds inflicted by Cyrus.
* '''Mark Target (Mark of Exitus and The Merciful Judge Only)''': Instead of normally shooting a model, Cyrus may instead mark an enemy from long distance, making the target more visible for allies. The range at which he marks his targets depends on the range of the weapon he currently carries. All models that shoot at the enemy model/squad that was marked by Cyrus gain a +1 to BS and the Rending USR.
* '''Protective Mentor''': It does not matter if he leads scouts that he trained personally or not, Cyrus is known to be protective of those under his command, and reacts badly when they are hurt or killed. Enemy models that manage to successfully hit any model in a squad led by Cyrus causes him to return fire. If an enemy model manages to kill a model in Cyrus's squad, then he gains the Hatred USR against that model/squad.
* '''Plant Charges''': Before the game starts, choose two elements of the battlefield (Cluster Mines), or one element (Demolition Charge Pack or Remote Detonation Pack) that are/is outside both player deployment zones. These places are rigged with potent explosives. Any enemy model that will move through such areas will be affected by the explosives Cyrus will choose to use and count as Dangerous Terrain. If an enemy model fails his Dangerous Terrain rolls, then that model triggers the explosives Cyrus planted. The explosives have the following stats:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! Strength !! AP !! Type
|-
| '''Cluster Mines''' || - || 5 || 5 || Blast, Ignores Cover
|-
| '''Demolition Charge Pack''' || - || 8 || 1 || Blast, Armourbane, One Use Only
|-
| '''Remote Detonation Pack''' || - || 10 || 1 || Large Blast, One Use Only
|}

* '''Recovery Stimulant Kit''': A set of specialized medical substances and items that serve to keep fellow squadmates alive if there are no Apothecaries in the vicinity. Grants the Feel No Pain USR to the whole squad.
* '''Rites of Repair''': A set of tools and instructions on how to use them in order to repair vehicles when there are no Techmarines in the vicinity. Grants Cyrus the Blessing of The Omnissiah SR and thus the ability to repair vehicles. See Techmarine or Master of The Forge.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! Strength !! AP !! Type
|-
| '''Mark of Exitus''' || 48 || X || 2 || Heavy 1, Sniper, Death From Afar
|}
* '''Mark of Exitus''': Only the [[Vindicare Assassin|dreaded assassins of the Vindicare Temple]] wield Exitus Rifles. However, a veteran scout sergeant of the Blood Ravens found himself fighting alongside one of these deathdealers at the height of the Walsh Uprising. One year later, this modified Astartes Sniper Rifle appeared among his gear.
**'''Death From Afar''': Successful To Wound rolls on a 6 result in Instant Death.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! Strength !! AP !! Type
|-
| '''The Merciful Judge''' || 48 || X || 5 || Heavy 1, Sniper, Fleshbane, JUDGEMENT
|}
* '''The Merciful Judge''': "There is no heretic more fortunate than he who draws my eye. His final moments are not the fury of battle nor the agony of interrogation...he sits upon his liar's throne and dreams his liar's dreams, and then he simply ends." - Scout Sergeant Kuzminski. The Merciful Judge is a Sniper Rifle.
** '''JUDGEMENT''': Enemies hit by this weapon must pass a Toughness test with a -1 modifier. If failed, put a blast marker over the model that failed its Toughness test. That model is affected by the Instant Death USR and all enemy models inside the blast marker suffer D3 S6 AP4 attacks.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! Strength !! AP !! Type
|-
| '''Bringer of Hope''' || 36 || 5 || 5 || Salvo 2/4, Pinning, Blast, Undying Hope
|}
* '''Bringer of Hope''': In the darkest hours of the Blood Ravens crusade across Tartarus, a grim fatalism gripped the Third Company. Their trusted [[Isador Akios|Librarian had sold his soul to the powers of Chaos]], and it seemed the [[GRIMDARK|entire planet's population had fallen to heresy]]. Just before their march to Llouvre Mar, however, a young novice of the [[Sister Hospitaler|Sisters Hospitaller]] dared step before them and issue a simple blessing, laying her hands on the boltgun of the nearest battle brother. [[Noblebright|In that one instant, the grim Space Marines saw that this was a planet worth saving]].
** '''Undying Hope''': All allied units within 12" gain the Shrouded USR and a +1 to BS.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! Strength !! AP !! Type
|-
| '''Fury of Mars and Terra''' || 12 || 6 || 3 || Assault 3, Shred, Powered Shot
|}
* '''Fury of Mars and Terra''': [[Techmarine]] Davos Gibban wielded this weapon on Mars during the [[Necron]] incursion into the heart of the great forge world. [[Awesome|Gibban succumbed only after felling five Tomb Spyders and a dozen other xenos obscenities]]. The [[Ecclesiarchy]] and [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Techpriests]] [[Awesome|both blessed his remains]].
** '''Powered Shot''': Instead of a normal shot, Cyrus may execute a single, much more powerful shot. The Powered Shot is Heavy 1, but it becomes S8 AP1.

* '''Pride of the Techpriests''': Within the forges of Mars itself, three generations of master artificers toiled on this set of light armor. Reportedly the result of a boast to the Lords of Terra from the Fabricator-General himself, this near-perfect suit grants unparalleled protection and inspired all Space Marines who see it. The Pride of the Techpriests is a Scout Armour that grants a 4+ Sv and a 5+ Inv Save. In addition, it allows allied models within 12" to use Cyrus's Ld value.

==External Links==
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5fO0oo66r4&list=SP9FC358356F8279E2&index=67| Cyrus tells it like it is.]
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypjRbA3E134&list=SP9FC358356F8279E2&index=71| Cyrus insults yet ANOTHER Blood Raven far better than him.]
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Du28OvXSvYg| Cyrus infiltrates his way to Chaos.]
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2M8jYBFn-Xc| Cyrus takes his dickery to the next level and betray the Blood Ravens.]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Bishiecyrus.jpg|Cyrus' deadliest weapon isn't his stealth. It's his dashing good looks.
File:Cyrus_is_sexy.jpg|A rare situation when he's not wearing his Scout Armor. As if the dashing good look wasn't enough...
</gallery>

{{Marines-Characters}}

[[Category:Dawn of War]]
[[Category:Deathwatch]]

Cyrus

2020-07-27T02:41:38Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:748C:B105:AA91:7BA4:

[[File:Cyrus_portrait.png|thumb|200px|right|In fact a cunningly camouflaged wheel of cheese.]]
'''Cyrus''' was a [[Scout| Scout Sergeant]] of the [[Blood Ravens]], who debuted in [[Dawn of War II]]. Surprisingly, he <s>previously served in</s> [[If The Emperor Had A Text-To-Speech Device|Was '''stolen''' from]] the [[Deathwatch]], from where he gets good knowledge about various aliens. Much like [[Avitus]] is capable of displaying only the emotion of rage, Cyrus provides the squad with a mix of bitching, morbidity, and cynicism, which causes him to play rather badly with the naive Thaddeus, and also causes [[Tarkus]] to call him out, forever demonstrating that the tactical marine sergeant is the bringer of all that is good. On the other hand, Cyrus's outlook does play well with Avitus's, who is angry and morbid, instead of just morbid. In short, Cyrus is more or less the direct opposite of most of [[Steve Blum]]'s other roles. He's also notably hair-etical, like the majority of your strike force, and is distinguished even from Commander Vanilla Ice and Gabe Angelos in having a beard. However, he does call [[Indrick Boreale]] incompetent, which means that he can't be all that bad.

==Dawn of War II==
Cyrus, along with Tarkus and Avitus, accompanies you on the first mission and for the rest of the game. He tends to advocate pragmatism and is the main source of information you have about the Tyranids, having acquired information about them while serving in the Deathwatch. Thaddeus doesn't like him very much on account of his morbid whining, and Tarkus also has some conflicting interactions with him because Cyrus doesn't know when to back off. This is the game where he has his finest moment, highlighting the failure of Indrick Boreale and by extension the eye-bursting fail that was Soulstorm.

==Chaos Rising==
Cyrus goes [[Angry Marines|Angry Marine]] on the ass of a sorcerer who's stealing his scouts, and gains corruption if not brought along to kick the pansy faggot's ass. Given that it's a bunch of soft targets, with a few camped in cover, against missile-toting plague marines and chaos dreadnoughts, it generally goes about as well as you'd expect, which is to say on any difficulty worse than hard, every single initiate gets totaled. He also gives you intel on the forces of chaos that turns out to be complete bullshit, as Tarkus aptly points out. If he does go traitor, he cites the incompetence of Indrick Boreale, [[Eliphas the Inheritor]], [[Azariah Kyras]] and [[Gabriel Angelos]] for fucking up the sector and the Blood Ravens in particular, and decides to ally with [[Ulkair]] to remake the sector to his liking. This indeed proves that he doesn't know what he's talking about, as disparaging the two best characters of the entire [[Dawn of War]] series and a man cunning enough to become a double daemon prince is BALD and FEWLISH. There's also the fact that [[Derp| a scout sergeant tries to take on three terminator squads and a dreadnought, fully expecting to win]], although given that Cyrus is fully capable of completing entire missions on his own, him taking down 3 squishy terminator squads and a dreadnought isn't that too far off his set of skills. Of course, anything trying to take down a tag-team of Davian Thule and Tarkus loses, no discussion. When fighting him, he'll use the very same invisible mine-spamming cheese that you know and love against you.

Cyrus is also quite possibly one of the greatest [[Blood Ravens#Bloody Magpies|Bloody Magpies]] ever. Other Blood Raves only managed to be "gifted" with singular pieces of wargear and such. Cyrus? He managed to convince Eliphas to "gift" him an entire Black Legion strike force.

==Retribution==
Cyrus returns in [[Dawn of War II#Retribution| Retribution]] as a companion to [[Apollo Diomedes]] on the quest to shitkick [[Azariah Kyras]]. For once, his bitching is appreciably useful, as it plays some role in helping Diomedes overcome his pride and recognize Kyras as a traitor. It may also have something to do with the fact that he's bitching at Boreale 2.0 instead of an avatar of the player, and he overall is just less of a whiny emo when he does it. He's usually the one who does the mission briefings, since he's the only one who can really scout. On the whole, he remains almost exactly like he was previously, and continues to be useful on the field while contributing nothing of value otherwise. (So he scouts, provides tactical briefings and performs well in battle? What more should he do, climb out of your computer screen and cook you dinner?)

His incessant bitching about his experience and his bitter temperament makes you want to punch the hormonal douche in his ovaries. On the other hand, he can remain infiltrated indefinitely if you max out his will stat and gets a new trick that lets him fire a whole bunch of sniper shots at once, so he's still pretty useful. That said, his Honor Guard replacement is the only source of Assault Terminators you get in the campaign, so it's not a 100% necessity to bring him to every mission.

==Gameplay==
Surprisingly, the amount of irritation Cyrus evokes in most players is directly proportional to the amount of [[Cheese]] and explosives-based attacks that he brings to your force. Simply put, in both Vanilla DOW II and Chaos Rising, Cyrus is almost always a necessary addition to any force, capable of ravaging just about everything with copious use of demolition charges, remote-detonated bombs, cluster mines, and sniper fire. All of this can be done without breaking infiltration, making him equally capable at reviving fellow squad leaders, killing hordes, and picking off high-value targets. He's also one of the most resource-efficient ways to level enemy bases, solo whole levels, and kill tough vehicles, since refills for his explosives are scattered everywhere on the map. Only missions that dropped you straight into an enemy camp tended to cause any trouble for him, as do auto-detecting bosses like Bonesmasha and the Avatar of Khaine.

While Cyrus was a hefty slice of cheese in Vanilla, [[Chaos Rising]] turned him into a colossal, all-annihilating wheel of dairy. With a relatively simple upgrade, explosives become energy-based instead of limited items, meaning that patience is literally the one thing that's required to kill everything, everywhere, ever. As if that was not enough, the upgrade also makes explosives more potent, letting you toss out clusters of mines that one-shot infantry, walkers, and tanks, and let you easily win defense missions by creating minefields to rival [[Vraks]]. Most everyone on your force gets something similar, so at least Cyrus is slightly more balanced with his comrades; however, most of his comrades can't pull off their tricks while invisible. If you play a mostly non-heretical run, the cheese gets even MORE compounded as his full-purity skill allows him to make stimulants cost energy, making every battle now amount to battles of attrition if you also use [[Blood Ravens Force Commander|Hairgel's Warcry]] or Venerable [[Davian Thule]] to boost his energy. Conveniently, this makes all other healing skills, like Jonah's, absolutely useless. Taking him along with Tarkus and Davian Thule/Jonah Orion is tantamount to instant victory.

He retains the majority of his skillset in Retribution, the most notable enhancement coming in a further buff to his infiltration skills, as he can now regenerate energy while invisible and prance around maps without taking a break to refill his energy reserves, along with the ability to slow down time so he can snipe an entire squad to death in a matter of moments. However, since all explosives and equipment are energy-cost instead of limited use now, he has lost the massive advantage he had in previous installments, and ceded the coveted cheese-throne to [[Eliphas]] and [[Commissar Lord Bernn|Commissar-LORD Bernn]]. Furthermore, with the honor guard that replaces him being [[Awesome|assault terminators]], it's now a valid choice to leave him out of battle, especially when he's underleveled.

==Codex Cyrus==
Now you can take Cyrus as a expensive upgrade (even more so than [[Torias Telion]]) for your Veteran Scout Sergeant. Beware however...for fielding him will result in apocalyptic amounts of [[RAGE]] and [[Cheese]].

{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || I || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Sergeant Cyrus''' || 100 || 4 || 5 || 4 || 4 || 2 || 5 || 2 || 10 || 4+
|}

'''Unit Type''':
* '''Infantry (Character)'''

'''Unit Composition''':
* '''1 Unique'''

'''Wargear''':
* '''Mark of Exitus''': May be replaced with Bringer of Hope or Fury of Mars and Terra for 20 pts, or The Merciful Judge for free.
* '''Scout Armour''': May be replaced with the Pride of the Techpriests for 20 pts.
* '''Camo Cloak''': See Codex Space Marines.
* '''Frag Grenades'''
* '''Krak Grenades'''
* '''Blind Grenades''': See Defensive Grenades.
* '''Cluster Mines'''
* '''Demolition Charge Pack'''
* '''Remote Detonation Pack (Apocalypse Only)'''
* '''Recovery Stimulant Kit'''
* '''Rites of Repair'''

'''Special Rules''':
* '''And They Shall Know No Fear'''
* '''Chapter Tactics (Blood Ravens)''':As per the rules for all Chapters who do not know their primogenitor Chapter, the Blood Ravens do not have a unique Chapter Tactic. Instead, the player can elect to use any existing Chapter Tactics from Codex: Space Marines and any Forge World supplements.
* '''Stealth Superiority''': Cyrus is unmatched when it comes to skills in stealth. Cyrus and the Scout Squad he leads gain the Scout, Stealth, Infiltrate, Acute Senses, Move Through Cover and Outflank USR.
* '''Master Marksman''': When it comes to terminating his targets from any distance, Cyrus will do so with surgical precision. No enemy of the Emperor can escape, nor find any safe haven from the scout sergeant's watchful eye. Cyrus's successful To Hit ranged attacks count as having the Precision Shots and Ignores Cover USR (excluding Snap Shots). Additionally enemy characters suffer a -2 penalty to their Look Out, Sir! tests against any Wounds inflicted by Cyrus.
* '''Mark Target (Mark of Exitus and The Merciful Judge Only)''': Instead of normally shooting a model, Cyrus may instead mark an enemy from long distance, making the target more visible for allies. The range at which he marks his targets depends on the range of the weapon he currently carries. All models that shoot at the enemy model/squad that was marked by Cyrus gain a +1 to BS and the Rending USR.
* '''Protective Mentor''': It does not matter if he leads scouts that he trained personally or not, Cyrus is known to be protective of those under his command, and reacts badly when they are hurt or killed. Enemy models that manage to successfully hit any model in a squad led by Cyrus causes him to return fire. If an enemy model manages to kill a model in Cyrus's squad, then he gains the Hatred USR against that model/squad.
* '''Plant Charges''': Before the game starts, choose two elements of the battlefield (Cluster Mines), or one element (Demolition Charge Pack or Remote Detonation Pack) that are/is outside both player deployment zones. These places are rigged with potent explosives. Any enemy model that will move through such areas will be affected by the explosives Cyrus will choose to use and count as Dangerous Terrain. If an enemy model fails his Dangerous Terrain rolls, then that model triggers the explosives Cyrus planted. The explosives have the following stats:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! Strength !! AP !! Type
|-
| '''Cluster Mines''' || - || 5 || 5 || Blast, Ignores Cover
|-
| '''Demolition Charge Pack''' || - || 8 || 1 || Blast, Armourbane, One Use Only
|-
| '''Remote Detonation Pack''' || - || 10 || 1 || Large Blast, One Use Only
|}

* '''Recovery Stimulant Kit''': A set of specialized medical substances and items that serve to keep fellow squadmates alive if there are no Apothecaries in the vicinity. Grants the Feel No Pain USR to the whole squad.
* '''Rites of Repair''': A set of tools and instructions on how to use them in order to repair vehicles when there are no Techmarines in the vicinity. Grants Cyrus the Blessing of The Omnissiah SR and thus the ability to repair vehicles. See Techmarine or Master of The Forge.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! Strength !! AP !! Type
|-
| '''Mark of Exitus''' || 48 || X || 2 || Heavy 1, Sniper, Death From Afar
|}
* '''Mark of Exitus''': Only the [[Vindicare Assassin|dreaded assassins of the Vindicare Temple]] wield Exitus Rifles. However, a veteran scout sergeant of the Blood Ravens found himself fighting alongside one of these deathdealers at the height of the Walsh Uprising. One year later, this modified Astartes Sniper Rifle appeared among his gear.
**'''Death From Afar''': Successful To Wound rolls on a 6 result in Instant Death.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! Strength !! AP !! Type
|-
| '''The Merciful Judge''' || 48 || X || 5 || Heavy 1, Sniper, Fleshbane, JUDGEMENT
|}
* '''The Merciful Judge''': "There is no heretic more fortunate than he who draws my eye. His final moments are not the fury of battle nor the agony of interrogation...he sits upon his liar's throne and dreams his liar's dreams, and then he simply ends." - Scout Sergeant Kuzminski. The Merciful Judge is a Sniper Rifle.
** '''JUDGEMENT''': Enemies hit by this weapon must pass a Toughness test with a -1 modifier. If failed, put a blast marker over the model that failed its Toughness test. That model is affected by the Instant Death USR and all enemy models inside the blast marker suffer D3 S6 AP4 attacks.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! Strength !! AP !! Type
|-
| '''Bringer of Hope''' || 36 || 5 || 5 || Salvo 2/4, Pinning, Blast, Undying Hope
|}
* '''Bringer of Hope''': In the darkest hours of the Blood Ravens crusade across Tartarus, a grim fatalism gripped the Third Company. Their trusted [[Isador Akios|Librarian had sold his soul to the powers of Chaos]], and it seemed the [[GRIMDARK|entire planet's population had fallen to heresy]]. Just before their march to Llouvre Mar, however, a young novice of the [[Sister Hospitaler|Sisters Hospitaller]] dared step before them and issue a simple blessing, laying her hands on the boltgun of the nearest battle brother. [[Noblebright|In that one instant, the grim Space Marines saw that this was a planet worth saving]].
** '''Undying Hope''': All allied units within 12" gain the Shrouded USR and a +1 to BS.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Name !! Range !! Strength !! AP !! Type
|-
| '''Fury of Mars and Terra''' || 12 || 6 || 3 || Assault 3, Shred, Powered Shot
|}
* '''Fury of Mars and Terra''': [[Techmarine]] Davos Gibban wielded this weapon on Mars during the [[Necron]] incursion into the heart of the great forge world. [[Awesome|Gibban succumbed only after felling five Tomb Spyders and a dozen other xenos obscenities]]. The [[Ecclesiarchy]] and [[Adeptus Mechanicus|Techpriests]] [[Awesome|both blessed his remains]].
** '''Powered Shot''': Instead of a normal shot, Cyrus may execute a single, much more powerful shot. The Powered Shot is Heavy 1, but it becomes S8 AP1.

* '''Pride of the Techpriests''': Within the forges of Mars itself, three generations of master artificers toiled on this set of light armor. Reportedly the result of a boast to the Lords of Terra from the Fabricator-General himself, this near-perfect suit grants unparalleled protection and inspired all Space Marines who see it. The Pride of the Techpriests is a Scout Armour that grants a 4+ Sv and a 5+ Inv Save. In addition, it allows allied models within 12" to use Cyrus's Ld value.

==External Links==
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5fO0oo66r4&list=SP9FC358356F8279E2&index=67| Cyrus tells it like it is.]
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypjRbA3E134&list=SP9FC358356F8279E2&index=71| Cyrus insults yet ANOTHER Blood Raven far better than him.]
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Du28OvXSvYg| Cyrus infiltrates his way to Chaos.]
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2M8jYBFn-Xc| Cyrus takes his dickery to the next level and betray the Blood Ravens.]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Bishiecyrus.jpg|Cyrus' deadliest weapon isn't his stealth. It's his dashing good looks.
File:Cyrus_is_sexy.jpg|A rare situation when he's not wearing his Scout Armor. As if the dashing good look wasn't enough...
</gallery>

{{Marines-Characters}}

[[Category:Dawn of War]]
[[Category:Deathwatch]]

Female Space Marines

2020-07-27T02:34:39Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:748C:B105:AA91:7BA4:

{{Promotions}}
{{heresy}}
{{cleanup}}
{{topquote|The Adeptus Astartes can only contain males. No girls allowed. They are yucky.|[[If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device|The Emperor of Mankind]]}}
{{topquote|Has Slaanesh inflamed your senses?|Flavius Alkenex of the Phoenix Conclave to Fabius Bile, discussing Fabius's implantation of geneseed into females.}}

[[Image:beakiegal.jpg|thumb|right|Guaranteed to garner at least 100 replies. Also not enough pauldron.]]

There is no tactic more effective for [[RAGE|enraging]] a diehard [[Space Marines|SPESS MEHREENS]] fanboy than discussing/drawing their [[Rule 63]] companion, '''Female Space Marines'''. Not to be confused with [[Sisters of Battle]], the canonical equivalent to Space Marines and also armed with bolters and chainswords with the stats of shitty guardsmen (but still entirely equal to space marines, [[Games Workshop|we]] promise), but ''Space Marine'' Space Marines of the Adeptus Astartes, you know, the hypermuscular ones with [[pauldrons]]. According to [[Games Workshop]] [[canon]], the procedures that are used to create a Space Marine only work properly on male subjects (inferred to be because the Emperor is male), rendering female Marines impossible, and it has been tried in canon. (The most common result is a servant of [[Slaanesh]] [[chaos spawn|that cannot be named]])

Sometimes it is pointed out that back in the [[Rogue Trader]] days, Games Workshop did briefly produce two power-armoured female models, but they were changed to "Female Adventurers in Power Armour" and were never meant to represent female Marines. Moreover, White Dwarf ''did'' in fact publish a Rogue Trader scenario back in the day featuring real, honest-to-[[Matt Ward|Ward]] female Imperial Space Marines, albeit with the caveat that such chapters were exceedingly rare. In addition, some will point out that both the [[Emperor]] and [[Magnus the Red|at least]] [[Alpharius|one Primarch]] can change appearance at will. Considering this is from Games Workshop, who [[Squats|routinely violates their own canon in subsequent editions]], fanbase be damned, take this as you will.

It's worth noting, though, that Games Workshop hasn't deterred /tg/ (or indeed, the [[Black Library]] writers) from coming up with ways to potentially allow for them, even with Space Marines being exclusively male being one of the rare things they've kept consistent. This is because we're talking about a tabletop game set in a universe where [[Orks|green mushroom men accidentally will things into existence]] and [[Daemon|manifestations of extreme emotions sometimes murderfuck you from the inside out]] because some idiot forgot to fix the Gellar field or a Custodian missed a couple psykers for the Emperor's daily meal. And as was brought up in [[Daemonette|previous]] [[Monstergirls|articles]], little gets between a man and [[PROMOTIONS|his fapbait]], much less the rather "spirited" lorefagging this inspires in detractors.

The most serious anyone avoiding rage should get with this is that given the physical differences between men and women, there could be female Space Marines and we wouldn't even know it. Because after all was done to make them viable for implantation they either wouldn't be male anymore or the only thing indicating their original sex would be what's between their legs but otherwise indistinguishable from a man. So arguing about female Space Marines is ultimately pointless. Wait...maybe ''this'' is why Astartes have "repressed" sexuality. It's not really repressed, they're just traumatized from seeing a Battle-"Brother" naked!



=The Canon Part=
While for a time GW's official stance was that it was impossible to create Female Space Marines, leading to spammed complaints about gender equality and claims that male-only Space Marines are sexist on their forums. Therefore, a minor concession was made. According to new [[fluff]] the Emperor of Mankind ''did'' see fit to attempt the creation of female Space Marines, whether in the spirit of equality, for the sake of a larger recruiting pool, or [[/d/|because he had an incest fetish to indulge.]] Emphasis on ''tried''; since he had based his Sons off of himself, and then Space Marines off of the resulting genes, it was impossible to twist that base around to reliably make a female Space Marine. The Emperor tried again and again, but could not find a way to reliably create a Female Space Marine in a reasonable time frame and soon found that if Male Space Marines were one in a million, then Female Space Marines were one in a trillion. There were many semi-successful female Space Marines that showed promise, but nearly all of them died shortly after implantation due to organ rejection and various hormonal imbalances causing their biology to shit itself. Quickly realizing that this shit was a waste of time and resources better spent conquering the galaxy, he decreed that Space Marines would be male-only, '''NO GIRLS ALLOWED.'''

TL;DR GW got tired of angry letters, so they said that Female Space Marines were possible but stupidly impractical (even by 40k standards), so that's why there aren't any Female Space Marines so stop the angry letters ''please''.

This all could have been avoided if [[SJW|some of the complainants]] had simply asked for (and GW gave) more focus on the [[Sisters of Battle|''real'', pre-existing Female Space Marines]] complete with a unique, empowering flavor all their own - not to mention [[Imperial Guard|other]] [[Sisters of Silence|the other]] [[Eldar|non-sexualized]] [[Tau|women]] available in the setting. [[Fail|Naturally, this seemingly obvious solution was lost on all parties involved]].

On the Black Library front, it was mentioned in one of the [[Horus Heresy]] books that [[Malcador the Sigillite]] had suggested making one or two of the Primarchs female, half-jokingly saying that it might help to defuse competition between them. The Emperor was not amused by this at all and insisted that it simply couldn't be done, thinking Malcador was joking about the idea entirely. And really, who wants to try to argue with him about it? He may have had time later to uplift all of humanity, but he is busy with that little "ten thousand years on life support while fighting various eldritch horrors" business.

==[[Sindri|SSSSSIIIIIINNNNNNDDDDRRRRRRIIIII!!]]==

And now a bit unexpected salvation - there are indeed (99.46% possible) Female Space Marines!... in The [[Eye Of Terror]]. Well, they're possible out of it too - see, due to the nature of [[Chaos]], mutations are often a fact of life. Some desired, some not. What if one hulked out, burning, warped Chaos Space Marine [[Moot|secretly wishes he was the cute little girl who got flowers? Who smiled with joy? Who was so sweet?]]

This was ''confirmed'' in one of the earlier Chapter Approved articles - one that re-introduced mounted Daemonettes - in which a Governor-Militant fighting a Slaanesh warband mused that there were (apparently female) creatures that [[Heresy|were once Space Marines, but no longer]]. Considering Chaos can cause [[Chaos Spawn|that which must never be named]], is anyone surprised by this?

Furthermore, in the [[Fabius Bile]] series, there was a female Chaos Champion who'd been mutated up to Space-Marine equivalent levels, and was a subcommander in an Emperor's Children war band.

==[[Honsou]], You Sick Fuck==

We know that you among the fans, despite all our attempts to dissuade you, want cute FEMALE SPHESS MAHREENS! And there is good news - technically, there ARE Female Space Marines IN OFFICIAL LORE. The catch? Yes there is a catch. And this one is the worst.

Your new waifu is a bloated, twisted, undying, insane, mutated pregnant mother-slave only alive because she's in the Eye of Terror.

You see, [[Honsou]] of the [[Iron Warriors]], in an effort to squeeze new MAHREENS into the ranks without having to pay that other sick fuck [[Fabius Bile]] for clones and because he was too lazy to do it the normal way, created a system of hideousness and sadness that pushes [[grimdark]] to a whole new level. He invented the [[Daemonculaba]], a system whereby a woman is chained and fed stuff which will morph her and her womb into something that was never meant to be. A boy is then (yes, a child), jammed, shoved or cut INTO the vagina and stays there for a while. When his time is ready, he, now XBAWKS HUEG and STRONG, will have to [[rip and tear|rip, tear]], or otherwise push his way out of his adoptive mother's womb/vagina. When he emerges, he will either be a skinless mutant abomination, or will emerge as a fully functional (albeit skinless) Chaos Space Marine in a fraction of the time, with all his growth stages and bionics and gene-seed already taken care of. How? [[Meme|It's fucking science]].

This goes back to our Female Space Marine - you see, while she was being morphed and changed, [[Dark Mechanicus]] Biologis hereteks worked on her body, implanting gene-seed and making her physically a Female Space Marine, even if the form is rather off. Thus, her womb can turn children as well into Space Marines by having her womb 'grow' the required organs and stages directly into their bodies in a fraction of the time - days and weeks instead of years. Thankfully for the entire universe, this horror was [[Uriel Ventris|destroyed]] before Honsou realized he could stick girls in there as well, and get double the recruits, and stumble upon the secret to true Female Space Marines.

==A Slightly More Reasonable Answer==

The problem really is one of terminology. Women can wear power armour, certainly; the Sororitas practically make it formal wear. Women can, through steroids, incessant bodybuilding, a high protein diet, psychological and emotional conditioning if not already manly enough in the brain, and a little genetic modding to bring it all together, be as buff and rocking as a Space Marine (and to reach their level, the woman would ''maybe'' still have female genitalia but otherwise be physiologically indistinguishable from a very manly man). Pointlessly expensive and inefficient compared to grabbing a guy and shoving a growth hormone in him. Although, this does bring up the possibility that there already ''are'' "female" Space Marines but they just...[[Grimdark|aren't female anymore]]. We'd never even know. But what really makes a Space Marine a Space Marine is all of the [[Geneseed|extra genetically-engineered organs and DNA and whatnot]] cloned from the Primarchs and implanted in the right way, which is impossible for women for reasons the Emperor himself ran afoul of. The closest thing to an exception in the fluff is any experiment involving Fabius Bile. It should be noted that the said woman is effectively lobotomized (and even there, the potential Chaos Space Marine candidate must be male since even that sick thing requires gene-seed to 'work'). And even if he did make you a Female Space Marine for reals, she still wouldn't be a "proper" Space Marine, just a weird, mutilated, Chaos-infused entity that approximates a Space Marine but [[Ultramarines|can never truly be one.]]

On the note of the Fabulous one, the crazy old fuck basically cloned himself but then decided to make the clone female and have a [[Warhammer High|'daughter']] just for the [[lulz]]. And the best/worst part is, he still made a better job out of parenthood than Big E. Bile's also experimented on damn-near everything (including the entire civilian populations of several planets) at some point or another for his attempts to duplicate the methods for creating new Space Marines, so there's ample evidence to suggest that [[/d/|he's tried it at least once]], ''going as far as saying Big E. was an idiot for making gene-seed only compatible with men and thus cutting off half the potential supply of warriors''. Fucking [[Slaanesh]]. In his own recent novels, his retinue has included a champion who is effectively, but not technically, a female Space Marine; when she claimed some Emperor's Children power armor on the battlefield, it bonded to her like Chaos Armour from Fantasy does, and she's tougher in a fight than most true Space Marines.

Another possible reason is that all of the Primarchs are men, with male genes, thus meaning that, [[Samus|unless there's secretly a girl Primarch out there somewhere,]] female Space Marines cannot be made in the traditional sense. Space Marine blood alone can eat through many durable materials due to the mess of chemicals in them. Any attempt to breed Space Marines the traditional way would be almost guaranteed to fail in a tragic fashion.

Of note is the fact that despite the names and histories of the two missing Primarchs being utterly obliterated from Imperial records, they are still unambiguously referred to as sons of the Emperor.

==Dark Imperium and FemMarines==
[[Image:YouHaven'tMadeFemaleSpaceMarinesHaveYou.jpg|thumb|right|The Emperor's reaction to [[Primaris Marines]]]]
In the Master of Mankind and Dark Imperium novels, it's revealed that the [[Emperor]] never cared for the Space Marines [[Adeptus Custodes|as much as his more favored sons]], and saw them as little more than tools to secure his [[Imperium of Man|empire]]. [[Ultramar|He never intended for them to rule over it]], as it was planned to be an empire [[High Lords of Terra|ruled by humans for humans]]. Given this revelation, it's possible that the Emperor ''could've'' made Female Space Marines, but chose not to because he wanted a reliable way to keep their population in check. Keep in mind that [[Belisarius Cawl|very few people outside of the Emperor himself]] were actually involved in the [[Primarch]] Project, so he was adamant that FemMarines were impossible, and no one actually tried to prove him wrong - they mostly just took him at his word (because calling him out seems like a much less preferable alternative). It is also simply far quicker and more efficient to implant recruits. Plus the changes needed to create a female Space Marine, given the large physical abilities differences between men and women, would be extreme, with an immense fatality rate, and expensive. You could make ten male and female Space Marines or thirty male Space Marines in half the time. The right choice is obvious. Besides, after the changes to put the women on par with the men Marines, the only real difference left would be genetalia, so the extra expense and risk would be pointless in the end. Sure, the fem Marines would only need to outclass the enemies of the Crusade, so full body alteration wouldn’t be necessary. But, the male Marines frequently suffered heavy, sometimes dramatic casualties. Less durable, less strong female Marines added would mostly increase the body count. Not to mention the incredible risk of enemies getting DNA of both Marine types and making their own in their labs. Besides, Emps had Chaos to consider. Even if you don't buy into all the [[-4 Str]] [[bullshit]], the impracticality of the numbers is still worth noting.

Although Space Marines have their sex drive curbed or removed, we know that [[Space Wolves]] can still sleep around (especially true for [[Lukas the Trickster]]), to say nothing of the [[Emperor's Children]], who are explicitly described going on a [[RAPE|rape rampage]] during the [[Siege of Terra]], which likely means that the reproductive suppression isn't 100% effective or irreversible, though the latter example does carry a load of salt big enough to fill a Blackstone Fortress in that they worship Slaanesh. It should also be considered that although Space Marines have a reduced or eliminated sex drive, it's never been suggested that they're sterile, meaning that [[Fall of the Eldar|accidents could still happen]]. Space Marine sex drive also seems to be born more out of culture than anything actually biological, most marines consider themselves too busy to get sexually or romantically attached to other people and are "married to the job". However the Space Wolves, having a rowdy and raunchy chapter culture where picking up chicks is a sign of manly strength and a source of tales to laugh about at the mess hall don't see any problem with their brothers spending their free time having "fun" with the local women.

Given all this, it's possible that the Emperor didn't want to take any chances and potentially have his living weapons start reproducing and becoming self-sufficient, replacing the humans they were designed to protect. Keeping Space Marines mono-gendered and reliant on [[geneseed]] would ensure that he maintained tight control over his tools and how many there were at any given time. Of course, this is all speculation, so take it with a grain of salt. Keep in mind, Implants are not heritable, this is basic biology. Unless the Astartes-to-be DNA is altered, which once again would mean Female Astartes should be possible. Even then the theoretical baby Astartes wouldn't get the implanted organs, meaning probable miscarriage. Instead they would have to be genetically altered clones. These attempts have almost always created questionable results.

Also the statement that the Emperor blatantly favors the Custodes over the Space Marines? 100% true. Space Marines during the time of the Great Crusade were mostly just genetically engineered frontline soldiers with cybernetics, Power Armor and really big guns. Instead of being a mix of Tier 1 Special Operators and Dark Age Knight Orders like they are during M41 and M42. Some were even used as right out cannon fodder, more so if they were traitors during the Heresy. (e.g. Stor-Bezashk White Scars were those who were found to be on the side of the traitors and reassigned to take most deadliest missions as punishment, while getting all the shit jobs were one of the reasons the [[Iron Warriors]] sided with [[Horus]].) The Emperor also had no problems purging two whole Legions of them for reasons that we'll never know about. So he wouldn't care about massacring Space Marines wholesale if they were made up of gender equal units.

A mass Legion purge is something he never considered doing to the Adeptus Custodes, as they have no flaws that allows to be corrupted by Chaos or Xeno influence. And if it were possible, they'd be too dead to talk about. Nor would he send them to some forsaken planet to be slaughtered like he would with Space Marines. Of course, female Custodes are also a whole different can of worms in of itself and turns the discussion into [[skub]], despite Games Workshop themselves considering this as being potentially canon.

==On The To-Do List?==
There is a paragraph in "Ashes of Prospero" were Arjac Rockfist identifies him self as a "Son as Russ", and a woman with a spear asks "Only sons?" Arjac thinks on it, and realizes that the spirit of Fenris, and of the Space Wolves, is in all the people of Fenris, men, women and children. Then he considers that Guilliman had made an even more deadly and powerful version of a Space Marine, so it was possible. At the end he pointedly does not reject the possibility of women space marines, ending with a "Perhaps."

Whether or not this is a case of fandom baiting/lorefag trolling, lampshade hanging, or just leaving space for '[[Your Dudes]]' is debatable; the fact that this happened among the [[Viking]]-themed Space Wolves is interesting, given the Valkyrie and Shield Maiden connotations that go along with that theme. Additionally, the Wolves took a beating from the Thousand Sons, so increasing the recruiting pool would be a boon to the beleaguered Wolves. If female marines were going to be suddenly created, it happening to the Space Wolves would not be thematically out of the question the way it would be for other more 'ascetic' Space Marine chapters. This being said, Fenrisian Shield Maidens were mentioned as having fought in Wrath of Magnus, so it's also possible that the Space Wolves will stop being a Marines-exclusive force and start incorporating the native warriors of Fenris, though that would be a blatant case of legion building that would draw the attention of the already inclined to look disagreeable on them Inquisition in a way the more Inquisition friendly Ultramarine do not with the Ultramars IG and PDF.

=What Would A Female Space Marine Look Like If They Could Exist?=
[[File:Silver Skull.jpg|right|thumb|Tina likes long walks on the beach and slaying the Emperor's foes.]]
Obviously, in the land of Rule 63 they are amazingly hot [[Rape|(and would totally do]] [[Mary Sue| you)]], but in dark and gritty fluff-land where they would be optimised for combat rather than jacking off, they would probably have very few notable female features left following surgery and genetic fuckery. Marines are made from pre-adolescent kids who still have very little in terms of sexual dimorphism, and the process of transforming includes total rewriting of the hormonal system (which is responsible for developing secondary sexual characteristics).

Hypothetical femarine wouldn't have narrow shoulders, wide hips, (big) breasts, delicate face structures (though the blood angels often manage it), feminine voices or even traditional feminine character traits like higher capacity for empathy and increased aversion against danger as those two psychological traits are pretty easily conditioned in or out of people if you can control their social contacts. And unless you're one of the nice chapters like the Salamanders, Lamenters, or Celestial Lions; empathy is almost certainly going to be trained out of most recruits to make them better able to deal with the kind of guilt that killing other people inflicts on humans. If you don't think that's a big concern, note that this is the kind of guilt that notably caused [[Avitus]] to fall to [[heresy]] when the truth about his chapter master made it his old excuses of it being justified as the chapter being in the right invalid and found himself unable to live with his actions. An entire Chapter of Marines in service to the inquisition who purged civilians who knew too much was also driven insane by the guilt because they simply cared too much for other people. Too much humanity can and will drive space marines to madness over the course of their duties.

In essence neophyte does not mature into man or woman - it matures into '''marine'''. A female Space Marine would only differ from male Space Marine by having (possibly) different genitalia, so no "Samus is a girl" moments would occur, given that they would never have a traditional female puberty. Either way, Female Space Marines are not going to be conventionally attractive. Being recreated exclusively for war tends to do that. They would be bigger than an ordinary human, of course, but they would still be proportioned like a normal human. Or like some bikini model if the Emperor decided he wanted to make hot White Scar bikers or something.

It is worth noting that official art from GW shows that unarmoured space marines look pretty normal if tall and swole discounting all the plug holes in them; like Captain America if he were a head or two taller rather than blob like roid freaks. Which does make sense, as the hulking bodybuilder physique is actually not very good in a fight compared to the more lithe MMA fighter build or the kind of fat looking powerlifter bod and in the military, endurance and leg power matters far more than how big your gains are. It's also worth noting that the sons of Sanguinius in particular are generally handsome in an androgynous, angelic way and that most of the primarchs aren't half bad looking. The Alpha Legion and the Fallen are also able to pass off as normal if tall and buff humans without their power armour. Also worth noting is that many, many marines are somehow able to have long, flowing hair or beards (or both) and still fit helmets onto their heads without issue with what can only be explained by space marine helmets doubling as pocket dimensions.

As Space Marines are surgically altered with organic implants and not traditionally genetically modified, progenoid glands would still play a vital role in gene-seed replication, and any child a female Space marine would have would at most just be guaranteed to be at least somewhat compatible with the chapter's gene seed. All the extra organs that go into a Space Marine are lab-grown things stuck into them that they're genetically compatible with, no more inherently part of the body than a prosthetic arm, and it's very unlikely that they would develop on their own in a Space Marine's child. Knowing Lukas the Trickster's "hey babe, I'm a space marine, wanna see the inside of my land raider?" antics though, it's probable that unless trained to suppress it, they'll still have a sex drive.

And, assuming that Sister Generica can be considered attractive in any form, she's also wearing a ton or two of ceramite power armor, so you wouldn't tell until she speaks or removes her helmet (Though depending on who you ask, that would make her MORE attractive.) And even if she does, you'd have to be a very lucky man to catch her eye during her limited free time, and she'd need to be from a chapter where fraternizing with normal humans is acceptable.

Finally, God Emperor help you if you suggest they wear boob plate. Physics ITSELF says no, and it'd slow down production which - given the current state of the Imperium - all but ensures you'll be ridiculed and [[BLAM|"corrected"]] if you so much as try to suggest it.

=RAGE=

RAGE is generated by this tactic in two distinct ways; either the neckbeards assume that the creator of the work in question is unaware of the Space Marine fluff, and rage about his or her ignorance; failing that, it becomes clear that they are well aware of the fluff regarding these matters and willingly chose to disregard it, sending the poor neckbeards into fits of spastic rage that anyone would dare deliberately defile the sacrosanct canon of Games Workshop's masterpiece.

[[Troll|Still, the aforementioned creator will just ignore him.]]

Alternatively, call your all-female IG army converted to be [[Imperial Navy]] armswomen "custom female space marines" for a joke the guys at the game store will find funny once and infuriating forever after.

=What If I Still Unironically Want This?=

Then it's time to apply some of '[[your dudes]]'. GeeDubs has been downplaying this more and more in the marketing, especially going into 8th edition, but they still secretly love it and never want us to stop applying our stories and color schemes to their precious and expensive models. Besides, with such a thoroughly batshit crazy setting, there's no reason you can't make your toy soldiers girls.

As mentioned before, you could always invoke the two lost Space Marine primarchs and say their geneseed works in females. Maybe a successor chapter somewhere down the line got a mutation and now they need to recruit young girls instead of young boys.

Of course, the "easiest" way that will generate the fewest complaints is just saying that this is possible in your chapter. Either the geneseed your chapter uses is mutated to allow a higher success rate with females, the females are [[Luther|surgically]] [[Kor Phaeron|altered]] to be basically just Space Marines, or that [[Belisarius Cawl|Daddy Cawl]] conveniently forgot to tell Guilliman that the Primarines can take girls too. Or, assuming you don't play in a brick and mortar Games Workshop store, you could try and convince your fellow neckbeards to accept it as a sort of "local canon," the same way you'd all start writing each others homebrew Chapters and Craftworlds into each other's lore. Above all, just remember to try and take it easy.

=Writefaggery=

===A New Arrival===

* From the livelog of Inquisitor Perstringos, archive #32AA9-99
* Redacted copy dispatched to Magos Tzeel'Etil of Mars under code of practice 73-Greyfax-Cawl

The lifespan of an Inquisitorial liaison to the Angry Marines is a famously short one.

Take offence to their unorthodox methods, and you're likely to get your head exploded like an overripe melon. Partake too enthusiastically in their furious idiom and you're likely to get your head exploded like an overripe melon. Stand too near one when they're feeling a little more umbrage than usual and you're likely to... and so on.

I have lasted in the role for nearly seven Angermar months and so consider myself quite the survivor. Alas, my run of good luck may soon be at an end. The Angry Marines are not generally characterised by a cheerful acceptance of change...

especially changes imposed from without...

very particularly especially changes to their unit composition mandated by none other than the Ultramarines, whose very Codex Astartes (oh Guilliman Restored, forgive me!) I have been impelled to use as an item of intimate personal hygiene in the Angry Marines' commode.

And yet today the first company of Primaris Marrnes will be arriving on McRage to join their new battle brothers. The "Guillimarines", as I've heard them called around the barracks here from the day I arrived. The Ultra-Ultrasmurfs. The Fuck-knuckles. The Bitch-clone-fucking-sellout Poser Marines.

Such a momentous occasion will naturally require an Inquisitorial observer on site.

I am going to fucking die.

Which is why I am taking care to record this surreptitious livelog, tapped by my tongue against my molar-transcriptor as I take my place in the Rite of Welcome. My life is nothing, praise the Emperor. Direct observational feedback on the reception of our Imperium's newest super-Astartes into the Chapter deemed least likely to accept them will be invaluable to several parties.

They are docking now with our Battle Barge, the FUCKYOUNAMEITYOURSELF. Their vessel, officially the Undaunted but renamed in our local records "THE OFFICIOUS CUNT-BASKET", is busy initiating standard pre-docking handshake protocol, but I expect that...

yep, there it is. The Angry Marines have taken the simple expedient of ramming the FUCKYOU directly into the Undaunted's docking bay. It was a fair hit. Air is already cycling across both ships with only superficial loss to the void, it won't take long to clear the wreckage, and so the joining Rite is soon to begin.

A mere ten paces in front of me, well within explode-my-head-with-a-backslap range, stands Chapter Master Temperus Maximum himself. An AdMech representative, Magos Errant Gjarran 3FF stands some ways to my left. I am sure I sense fear in the writhing of its mechadendrites.

Two long lines of Angry Marines, each four long files of seven hundred ranks, stretch out behind us in a widening wedge, as though to flaunt the Codex Astartes prohibition on companies larger than a thousand. Aside from their numbers and their angry yellow banners, the most striking sight to one accustomed to other Astartes chapters is the conspicuous lack of bolt pistols in favour of a second chainsword or the heaviest of heavy weapons.

I also note that customary Space Marine practice is to greet newcomers with weapons RAISED, not brandished threateningly -- and thus also pointed directly at my back.

On either side of these lines there mills a mob of chapter serfs, aspirants, servitors and ordinary ship's crew. Banners burn with the emblematic angry face and raised yellow middle finger.

I now hear the stomp of boots but haven't caught sight of the 100 who will be the first in history to join the Angry Marines from outside their chapter. Having already written off my own life, I find myself idly wondering if anyone has warned them of what they will encounter. We went through sixteen liaisons in as many weeks before we started to get the hang of their red lines. How many of these "Primadonna Marines" will survive the year?

Ah, there they are. They march in a column five across, twenty files deep. I see the first file now...

I had heard that these new marines were taller but the effect is staggering. Every Space Marine inspires terrified awe with their size, their power, and above all their devotion to the Emperor. These new Primaris radiate the same majesty... perhaps it is as they humbly claim, that they are no better than their other battle brothers, but they are certainly... newer.

As my eyes take in the holy might of the Emperor's newest instruments, my trained Inquisitor's eye perceives what at first was a vague impression. The specifications of these marines' armor, while taller and sleeker than earlier models, are in fact even sleeker than the schematics of the Mark X Tacticus Armour I have memorised as a matter of course.

How strange. Thinner in the waist. Wider at the hips. Bulkier at the chest... at the bust!

Subtle as the difference is, certainly not detracting from their power and terror, their armour is unquestionably FEMALE.

How?

Before anyone speaks the center Primaris of their first file--surely their Lieutenant--is removing his helmet... HER helmet. By the Emperor! As strong and intimidating and, well, grizzled a face as any Space Marine's, and yet entirely feminine. Long luxurious red hair is cascading down her shoulders... by the Emperor, to live to see these days!

No word yet from the Angry Marines. I fear the worst. I'm enabling my audio pickup; it may well outlive me.

[Lieutenant Pedicaba]: WELL FUCK ME IT'S THE MUTE MARINES! HELLO THE FUCK TO YOU TOO, ASSHOLE!

[Assault Sergeant Dickface, interrupting]: OH NO NO FUCKING NO. NUH-UH. FUCK OFF. CHADMARINES ARE BAD ENOUGH BUT A STACY? GIRLYMAN AIN'T GONNA SHOEHORN SOME BOLTER BITCHES INTO OUR YEEEAAAARGH!!!

[Lieutenant Pedicaba]: WHOOPS DID I JUST "SHOEHORN" MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS? YOU CAN EAT YOUR OWN SHIT OFF MY BOOT LATER, SERGEANT. DO I LOOK TO LIKE I'M ARMED WITH SOME PUSSIFIED BOLTER?

[Chapter Master Tempestum]: WELL FUCKING ARSECHUNKS IF THIS ISN'T A CUNTY TURN OF EVENTS. I'VE SAID FOR MONTHS YOU NU-SMURFS HAVE NO BALLS AND WHADDYA KNOW.

[Lieutenant Pedicaba]: YEAH YOU CAN KISS MY TURGID OVARIES LATER FUCKLICK. LIEUTENANT PEDICABA REPORTING! BY THE EMPEROR'S SWEATY ASSCRACK WE HAVE ARRIVED THROUGH THE WARP INTACT, ONLY ONE LITTLE FUCKSLEAZE DAEMON INCURSION NEEDED ITS SHIT PUSHED IN. ONE HUNDRED NEW ANGRY MARINES ARE YOURS TO COMMAND, MY LORD CHAPTER MASTER!

(Oh Emperor protect us, they're all removing their helmets. Blonde hair, black hair, more redheads... if it weren't for their size you'd know they weren't Sisters of Battle by their color. And their language!)

[Chapter Master Tempestum]: HEY COGBITCH, YOU SURE THOSE FAGNUTS FROM MARS SENT THE RIGHT DELiVERY?

[Magos Gjarran]: All is in order, lord Chapter Master. These are indeed the Primaris Marines assigned by my masters to your most holy Chapter, uncorrupted by the Warp and in perfect genetic order. The Machine God smiles upon your union.

[Chapter Master Tempestum]: AND YOUR ARCH-ANUS FAGMASTERS DIDN'T SEE FIT TO MENTION THEY COME WITH A CUNT APIECE?

[Lieutenant Pedicaba]: YOU WANT "A PIECE" OF CUNT JUST FUCK YOUR OWN WHORE MOUTH, MY LORD.

[Chapter Serf Urguet Incelium, interrupting]: No!! Stop!! Please!! I can't bear it!

(Has this serf lost his mind! What is he doing?)

[Chapter Serf Urguet Incelium]: My lords, this cannot be! Kill me if you will, but we cannot have fucking WOMEN ruining EVERYTHING! It's all a trick by... by SLAANESH JUSTICE WARRIORS to force the evil of HEResy upon us. A trick! The holy gene-seed can't work on females! Blah!

(The Primaris nearest the serf has just spat on him. Looks like she got him right in the crotch.)

[Chapter Serf Urguet Incelium]: You stupid bitch! I'll fucking end you! I'll take a flamer to all the vapid whores in the Progenium! I'll...

[a distinct sizzling noise is audible]

[Interceptor Miserabila]: GUESS MY BETCHER'S GLAND WORKS AFTER ALL, HUH ASS-BADGER?

[Chapter Serf Urguet Incelium]: My DICK! Oh FUCK, OH EMPEROR! MY BALLS! MY BALLS ARE MELTING AWAY! AHHH!

[Lieutenant Pedicaba]: "BETCHER" WEREN'T USING THOSE ANYWAY, PANSY-ASS QUEEFSNIFF.

[Chapter Serf Urguet Incelium]: [voice dissolves into screams and groans]

[Chapter Master Tempestum]: HEH HEH, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT. MAYBE YOU REDRAGE WHORES WON'T EMBARRASS THE REAL SOLDIERS TOO MUCH AFTER ALL. TELL YOU WHAT, LET'S WIPE OUT THE ASSCHEESE HERETICS PLANETSIDE AND I'LL LET YOU FIX ME A SANDWICH.

[Lieutenant Pedicaba]: SAY THAT TO MY HAIRY PUSS, MY LORD CHAPTER MASTER PISS-BREATH. NOW ARE YOU GONNA FIND US SOME HERESY TO MURDER OR ARE YOU GOING TO STAND THERE ALL DAY LIKE YOU'RE SCARED OF A LADY?

[Chapter Master Tempestum]: WE MAKE PLANETFALL IN TWENTY MINUTES. WELCOME TO THE ANGRY MARINES... BATTLE BROTHER.

[Lieutenant Pedicaba]: YEAH, SLURP SHIT SISTER.

Audio pick-up disabled. I think that was the ceremony. The Angry Marines, Primaris and all, are exchanging soldierly embraces and head-butts and marching back to the barge, chanting as one, "ALWAYS ANGRY! ALL THE TIME! ALWAYS ANGRY! ALL THE TIME!"

I'm racing down the corridor with Magos Giarran as fast as my legs will take me. You just know they're going to perform an "expedited undocking" with fucking frag grenades. Again. Planetfall in seventeen minutes. If I'm somehow not rendered into inquisitor-flavoured jello... well, I'm already praising the Emperor's unlimited munificence that I'm alive at all.

Word must get back to Mars. If the Primera mix so well even with the Angry Marines, they'll be a valuable reinforcement to all our companies. In our darkest hour, the Imperium's new hopes redouble.

+++
Thought for the Day: The Emperor has fury enough for us all.
+++

=See Also=

*[[Golden Aquilas]]: /tg/ [[homebrew]] chapter, designed to cause as much [[Rage|RAEG]] and accusations of [[derp]] as possible.
*[[Space Marines]]: Rule 63 equivalent of female Space- wait...
*[[Sisters of Battle]]: The warrior nuns of the Imperium that wear power armor, often fight with bolters and chainswords, and are in a sense the "real female space marines" of Warhammer 40,000.
*[[Stormcast Eternals]], GW's [[Warhammer Fantasy|Fantasy]] Space Marines in [[Age of Sigmar]], which can be any species and gender thanks to their magical origins. At least one Stormcast group was announced to be comprised of men and women and SURPRISE WARHAMMER SHADESPIRE WAS ANNOUNCED AND FEATURES A FEMALE STORMCAST MINIATURE. And the Sacrosanct Chamber added a bunch more.
*[[Samus]]: How about a female Primar-{{BLAM}}{{BLAM|REVEALING IMPERIAL SECRETS IS HERESY!}}
*[[A Song of Ice and Fire|Brienne of Tarth]]: The quintessential female space marine; through the obsession with duty and honour to the bulky, muscly form and skill at arms.
*[[Daughters of Terra]] A not-quite Space Marines Female Space Marines chapter.

=Gallery=
<center><gallery>
Image:Sisters of anger2.png|A girl can get angry too.
Image:1227373581722.gif|Lol. Why u mad tho?
Image:Nidsrape.jpg|Good to know the Smurfs get fucked by Tyranids no matter who their genestock accepts.
File:Love is a Battlefield by blazbaros.png|An almost perfect example of a female space marine, complete with the typical bulky space marine form.
Image:spessbitch.jpg|Not in fact [[Horo]].
File:Female_warhammer_40k_imperium_model_--_100D0212.jpg|She'd be even scarier if she took off that mask.
File:Female_space_marine_warhammer_40k_model_--_Female_Warrior_Gabs.jpg|Old Imperial Adventurer from [[Rogue Trader|Ye Olden Days]].
File:Female_space_marine_warhammer_40k_model_--_Female_Warrior_Jayne.jpg|Your eyes should start bleeding right about now.
File:Female_space_marine_warhammer_40k_--_Ingunna_Daughter_of_Russ_by_Greymark.jpg|BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
File:1k heresy.jpg|<s>Not</s> [[Just as planned]]. Now you know why Tzeentch doesn't invite Slaanesh to his birthday parties anymore.
File:Firstkeeper.jpg
File:Primarchs as teen girls.png| The Emperor made the Primarchs to be the greatest human warriors of all time, but [[Warhammer_High|even they were not immune]] to [[Rule 63]].
File:Femprah_by_Mr-Culexus.jpg|She was not amused by this development.
File:Saber ultra marine.jpg|Don't piss off Mama Smurf. [[FATAL|Your ass will not survive]].
File:Chaos saber.jpg|Still less of a failure than the real Abaddon.
File:Belldandy_blood_raveness_for_propertyoflamb_by_elvishprincess25-d9z451u.jpg|Belldandy of the Blood Ravens... Bloody Bell?
File:Propoflambcomm_urd_space_wolf_by_elvishprincess25-db1s3ab.jpg|Urd of the Space Wolves.
File:Skuld_amg_as_wh_iron_hand_by_elvishprincess25-daeba5v.jpg|Skuld of the Iron Hands.
File:The Little Sisters of Purification 1.png| Canon or not, the ideas's been around for a while.
File:The Little Sisters of Purification 2.png| Featuring Jokaero. Yes, there is a scenario.
File:Adepta Mechania Warpsmith (Pre Heresy) 01.png|Because metal tentacle rape That's Why.
File:Ariel Ventris 01.png
</gallery></center>

[[Category:Imperial]][[Category:Space Marines]][[Category:RAGE]]

Female Space Marines

2020-07-27T02:31:49Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:748C:B105:AA91:7BA4:

{{Promotions}}
{{heresy}}
{{cleanup}}
{{topquote|The Adeptus Astartes can only contain males. No girls allowed. They are yucky.|[[If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device|The Emperor of Mankind]]}}
{{topquote|Has Slaanesh inflamed your senses?|Flavius Alkenex of the Phoenix Conclave to Fabius Bile, discussing Fabius's implantation of geneseed into females.}}

[[Image:beakiegal.jpg|thumb|right|Guaranteed to garner at least 100 replies. Also not enough pauldron.]]

There is no tactic more effective for [[RAGE|enraging]] a diehard [[Space Marines|SPESS MEHREENS]] fanboy than discussing/drawing their [[Rule 63]] companion, '''Female Space Marines'''. Not to be confused with [[Sisters of Battle]], the canonical equivalent to Space Marines and also armed with bolters and chainswords with the stats of shitty guardsmen (but still entirely equal to space marines, [[Games Workshop|we]] promise), but ''Space Marine'' Space Marines of the Adeptus Astartes, you know, the hypermuscular ones with [[pauldrons]]. According to [[Games Workshop]] [[canon]], the procedures that are used to create a Space Marine only work properly on male subjects (inferred to be because the Emperor is male), rendering female Marines impossible, and it has been tried. (The most common result is a servant of [[Slannesh]] [[chaos spawn|that cannot be named]])

Sometimes it is pointed out that back in the [[Rogue Trader]] days, Games Workshop did briefly produce two power-armoured female models, but they were changed to "Female Adventurers in Power Armour" and were never meant to represent female Marines. Moreover, White Dwarf ''did'' in fact publish a Rogue Trader scenario back in the day featuring real, honest-to-[[Matt Ward|Ward]] female Imperial Space Marines, albeit with the caveat that such chapters were exceedingly rare. In addition, some will point out that both the [[Emperor]] and [[Magnus the Red|at least]] [[Alpharius|one Primarch]] can change appearance at will. Considering this is from Games Workshop, who [[Squats|routinely violates their own canon in subsequent editions]], fanbase be damned, take this as you will.

It's worth noting, though, that Games Workshop hasn't deterred /tg/ (or indeed, the [[Black Library]] writers) from coming up with ways to potentially allow for them, even with Space Marines being exclusively male being one of the rare things they've kept consistent. This is because we're talking about a tabletop game set in a universe where [[Orks|green mushroom men accidentally will things into existence]] and [[Daemon|manifestations of extreme emotions sometimes murderfuck you from the inside out]] because some idiot forgot to fix the Gellar field or a Custodian missed a couple psykers for the Emperor's daily meal. And as was brought up in [[Daemonette|previous]] [[Monstergirls|articles]], little gets between a man and [[PROMOTIONS|his fapbait]], much less the rather "spirited" lorefagging this inspires in detractors.

The most serious anyone avoiding rage should get with this is that given the physical differences between men and women, there could be female Space Marines and we wouldn't even know it. Because after all was done to make them viable for implantation they either wouldn't be male anymore or the only thing indicating their original sex would be what's between their legs but otherwise indistinguishable from a man. So arguing about female Space Marines is ultimately pointless. Wait...maybe ''this'' is why Astartes have "repressed" sexuality. It's not really repressed, they're just traumatized from seeing a Battle-"Brother" naked!



=The Canon Part=
While for a time GW's official stance was that it was impossible to create Female Space Marines, leading to spammed complaints about gender equality and claims that male-only Space Marines are sexist on their forums. Therefore, a minor concession was made. According to new [[fluff]] the Emperor of Mankind ''did'' see fit to attempt the creation of female Space Marines, whether in the spirit of equality, for the sake of a larger recruiting pool, or [[/d/|because he had an incest fetish to indulge.]] Emphasis on ''tried''; since he had based his Sons off of himself, and then Space Marines off of the resulting genes, it was impossible to twist that base around to reliably make a female Space Marine. The Emperor tried again and again, but could not find a way to reliably create a Female Space Marine in a reasonable time frame and soon found that if Male Space Marines were one in a million, then Female Space Marines were one in a trillion. There were many semi-successful female Space Marines that showed promise, but nearly all of them died shortly after implantation due to organ rejection and various hormonal imbalances causing their biology to shit itself. Quickly realizing that this shit was a waste of time and resources better spent conquering the galaxy, he decreed that Space Marines would be male-only, '''NO GIRLS ALLOWED.'''

TL;DR GW got tired of angry letters, so they said that Female Space Marines were possible but stupidly impractical (even by 40k standards), so that's why there aren't any Female Space Marines so stop the angry letters ''please''.

This all could have been avoided if [[SJW|some of the complainants]] had simply asked for (and GW gave) more focus on the [[Sisters of Battle|''real'', pre-existing Female Space Marines]] complete with a unique, empowering flavor all their own - not to mention [[Imperial Guard|other]] [[Sisters of Silence|the other]] [[Eldar|non-sexualized]] [[Tau|women]] available in the setting. [[Fail|Naturally, this seemingly obvious solution was lost on all parties involved]].

On the Black Library front, it was mentioned in one of the [[Horus Heresy]] books that [[Malcador the Sigillite]] had suggested making one or two of the Primarchs female, half-jokingly saying that it might help to defuse competition between them. The Emperor was not amused by this at all and insisted that it simply couldn't be done, thinking Malcador was joking about the idea entirely. And really, who wants to try to argue with him about it? He may have had time later to uplift all of humanity, but he is busy with that little "ten thousand years on life support while fighting various eldritch horrors" business.

==[[Sindri|SSSSSIIIIIINNNNNNDDDDRRRRRRIIIII!!]]==

And now a bit unexpected salvation - there are indeed (99.46% possible) Female Space Marines!... in The [[Eye Of Terror]]. Well, they're possible out of it too - see, due to the nature of [[Chaos]], mutations are often a fact of life. Some desired, some not. What if one hulked out, burning, warped Chaos Space Marine [[Moot|secretly wishes he was the cute little girl who got flowers? Who smiled with joy? Who was so sweet?]]

This was ''confirmed'' in one of the earlier Chapter Approved articles - one that re-introduced mounted Daemonettes - in which a Governor-Militant fighting a Slaanesh warband mused that there were (apparently female) creatures that [[Heresy|were once Space Marines, but no longer]]. Considering Chaos can cause [[Chaos Spawn|that which must never be named]], is anyone surprised by this?

Furthermore, in the [[Fabius Bile]] series, there was a female Chaos Champion who'd been mutated up to Space-Marine equivalent levels, and was a subcommander in an Emperor's Children war band.

==[[Honsou]], You Sick Fuck==

We know that you among the fans, despite all our attempts to dissuade you, want cute FEMALE SPHESS MAHREENS! And there is good news - technically, there ARE Female Space Marines IN OFFICIAL LORE. The catch? Yes there is a catch. And this one is the worst.

Your new waifu is a bloated, twisted, undying, insane, mutated pregnant mother-slave only alive because she's in the Eye of Terror.

You see, [[Honsou]] of the [[Iron Warriors]], in an effort to squeeze new MAHREENS into the ranks without having to pay that other sick fuck [[Fabius Bile]] for clones and because he was too lazy to do it the normal way, created a system of hideousness and sadness that pushes [[grimdark]] to a whole new level. He invented the [[Daemonculaba]], a system whereby a woman is chained and fed stuff which will morph her and her womb into something that was never meant to be. A boy is then (yes, a child), jammed, shoved or cut INTO the vagina and stays there for a while. When his time is ready, he, now XBAWKS HUEG and STRONG, will have to [[rip and tear|rip, tear]], or otherwise push his way out of his adoptive mother's womb/vagina. When he emerges, he will either be a skinless mutant abomination, or will emerge as a fully functional (albeit skinless) Chaos Space Marine in a fraction of the time, with all his growth stages and bionics and gene-seed already taken care of. How? [[Meme|It's fucking science]].

This goes back to our Female Space Marine - you see, while she was being morphed and changed, [[Dark Mechanicus]] Biologis hereteks worked on her body, implanting gene-seed and making her physically a Female Space Marine, even if the form is rather off. Thus, her womb can turn children as well into Space Marines by having her womb 'grow' the required organs and stages directly into their bodies in a fraction of the time - days and weeks instead of years. Thankfully for the entire universe, this horror was [[Uriel Ventris|destroyed]] before Honsou realized he could stick girls in there as well, and get double the recruits, and stumble upon the secret to true Female Space Marines.

==A Slightly More Reasonable Answer==

The problem really is one of terminology. Women can wear power armour, certainly; the Sororitas practically make it formal wear. Women can, through steroids, incessant bodybuilding, a high protein diet, psychological and emotional conditioning if not already manly enough in the brain, and a little genetic modding to bring it all together, be as buff and rocking as a Space Marine (and to reach their level, the woman would ''maybe'' still have female genitalia but otherwise be physiologically indistinguishable from a very manly man). Pointlessly expensive and inefficient compared to grabbing a guy and shoving a growth hormone in him. Although, this does bring up the possibility that there already ''are'' "female" Space Marines but they just...[[Grimdark|aren't female anymore]]. We'd never even know. But what really makes a Space Marine a Space Marine is all of the [[Geneseed|extra genetically-engineered organs and DNA and whatnot]] cloned from the Primarchs and implanted in the right way, which is impossible for women for reasons the Emperor himself ran afoul of. The closest thing to an exception in the fluff is any experiment involving Fabius Bile. It should be noted that the said woman is effectively lobotomized (and even there, the potential Chaos Space Marine candidate must be male since even that sick thing requires gene-seed to 'work'). And even if he did make you a Female Space Marine for reals, she still wouldn't be a "proper" Space Marine, just a weird, mutilated, Chaos-infused entity that approximates a Space Marine but [[Ultramarines|can never truly be one.]]

On the note of the Fabulous one, the crazy old fuck basically cloned himself but then decided to make the clone female and have a [[Warhammer High|'daughter']] just for the [[lulz]]. And the best/worst part is, he still made a better job out of parenthood than Big E. Bile's also experimented on damn-near everything (including the entire civilian populations of several planets) at some point or another for his attempts to duplicate the methods for creating new Space Marines, so there's ample evidence to suggest that [[/d/|he's tried it at least once]], ''going as far as saying Big E. was an idiot for making gene-seed only compatible with men and thus cutting off half the potential supply of warriors''. Fucking [[Slaanesh]]. In his own recent novels, his retinue has included a champion who is effectively, but not technically, a female Space Marine; when she claimed some Emperor's Children power armor on the battlefield, it bonded to her like Chaos Armour from Fantasy does, and she's tougher in a fight than most true Space Marines.

Another possible reason is that all of the Primarchs are men, with male genes, thus meaning that, [[Samus|unless there's secretly a girl Primarch out there somewhere,]] female Space Marines cannot be made in the traditional sense. Space Marine blood alone can eat through many durable materials due to the mess of chemicals in them. Any attempt to breed Space Marines the traditional way would be almost guaranteed to fail in a tragic fashion.

Of note is the fact that despite the names and histories of the two missing Primarchs being utterly obliterated from Imperial records, they are still unambiguously referred to as sons of the Emperor.

==Dark Imperium and FemMarines==
[[Image:YouHaven'tMadeFemaleSpaceMarinesHaveYou.jpg|thumb|right|The Emperor's reaction to [[Primaris Marines]]]]
In the Master of Mankind and Dark Imperium novels, it's revealed that the [[Emperor]] never cared for the Space Marines [[Adeptus Custodes|as much as his more favored sons]], and saw them as little more than tools to secure his [[Imperium of Man|empire]]. [[Ultramar|He never intended for them to rule over it]], as it was planned to be an empire [[High Lords of Terra|ruled by humans for humans]]. Given this revelation, it's possible that the Emperor ''could've'' made Female Space Marines, but chose not to because he wanted a reliable way to keep their population in check. Keep in mind that [[Belisarius Cawl|very few people outside of the Emperor himself]] were actually involved in the [[Primarch]] Project, so he was adamant that FemMarines were impossible, and no one actually tried to prove him wrong - they mostly just took him at his word (because calling him out seems like a much less preferable alternative). It is also simply far quicker and more efficient to implant recruits. Plus the changes needed to create a female Space Marine, given the large physical abilities differences between men and women, would be extreme, with an immense fatality rate, and expensive. You could make ten male and female Space Marines or thirty male Space Marines in half the time. The right choice is obvious. Besides, after the changes to put the women on par with the men Marines, the only real difference left would be genetalia, so the extra expense and risk would be pointless in the end. Sure, the fem Marines would only need to outclass the enemies of the Crusade, so full body alteration wouldn’t be necessary. But, the male Marines frequently suffered heavy, sometimes dramatic casualties. Less durable, less strong female Marines added would mostly increase the body count. Not to mention the incredible risk of enemies getting DNA of both Marine types and making their own in their labs. Besides, Emps had Chaos to consider. Even if you don't buy into all the [[-4 Str]] [[bullshit]], the impracticality of the numbers is still worth noting.

Although Space Marines have their sex drive curbed or removed, we know that [[Space Wolves]] can still sleep around (especially true for [[Lukas the Trickster]]), to say nothing of the [[Emperor's Children]], who are explicitly described going on a [[RAPE|rape rampage]] during the [[Siege of Terra]], which likely means that the reproductive suppression isn't 100% effective or irreversible, though the latter example does carry a load of salt big enough to fill a Blackstone Fortress in that they worship Slaanesh. It should also be considered that although Space Marines have a reduced or eliminated sex drive, it's never been suggested that they're sterile, meaning that [[Fall of the Eldar|accidents could still happen]]. Space Marine sex drive also seems to be born more out of culture than anything actually biological, most marines consider themselves too busy to get sexually or romantically attached to other people and are "married to the job". However the Space Wolves, having a rowdy and raunchy chapter culture where picking up chicks is a sign of manly strength and a source of tales to laugh about at the mess hall don't see any problem with their brothers spending their free time having "fun" with the local women.

Given all this, it's possible that the Emperor didn't want to take any chances and potentially have his living weapons start reproducing and becoming self-sufficient, replacing the humans they were designed to protect. Keeping Space Marines mono-gendered and reliant on [[geneseed]] would ensure that he maintained tight control over his tools and how many there were at any given time. Of course, this is all speculation, so take it with a grain of salt. Keep in mind, Implants are not heritable, this is basic biology. Unless the Astartes-to-be DNA is altered, which once again would mean Female Astartes should be possible. Even then the theoretical baby Astartes wouldn't get the implanted organs, meaning probable miscarriage. Instead they would have to be genetically altered clones. These attempts have almost always created questionable results.

Also the statement that the Emperor blatantly favors the Custodes over the Space Marines? 100% true. Space Marines during the time of the Great Crusade were mostly just genetically engineered frontline soldiers with cybernetics, Power Armor and really big guns. Instead of being a mix of Tier 1 Special Operators and Dark Age Knight Orders like they are during M41 and M42. Some were even used as right out cannon fodder, more so if they were traitors during the Heresy. (e.g. Stor-Bezashk White Scars were those who were found to be on the side of the traitors and reassigned to take most deadliest missions as punishment, while getting all the shit jobs were one of the reasons the [[Iron Warriors]] sided with [[Horus]].) The Emperor also had no problems purging two whole Legions of them for reasons that we'll never know about. So he wouldn't care about massacring Space Marines wholesale if they were made up of gender equal units.

A mass Legion purge is something he never considered doing to the Adeptus Custodes, as they have no flaws that allows to be corrupted by Chaos or Xeno influence. And if it were possible, they'd be too dead to talk about. Nor would he send them to some forsaken planet to be slaughtered like he would with Space Marines. Of course, female Custodes are also a whole different can of worms in of itself and turns the discussion into [[skub]], despite Games Workshop themselves considering this as being potentially canon.

==On The To-Do List?==
There is a paragraph in "Ashes of Prospero" were Arjac Rockfist identifies him self as a "Son as Russ", and a woman with a spear asks "Only sons?" Arjac thinks on it, and realizes that the spirit of Fenris, and of the Space Wolves, is in all the people of Fenris, men, women and children. Then he considers that Guilliman had made an even more deadly and powerful version of a Space Marine, so it was possible. At the end he pointedly does not reject the possibility of women space marines, ending with a "Perhaps."

Whether or not this is a case of fandom baiting/lorefag trolling, lampshade hanging, or just leaving space for '[[Your Dudes]]' is debatable; the fact that this happened among the [[Viking]]-themed Space Wolves is interesting, given the Valkyrie and Shield Maiden connotations that go along with that theme. Additionally, the Wolves took a beating from the Thousand Sons, so increasing the recruiting pool would be a boon to the beleaguered Wolves. If female marines were going to be suddenly created, it happening to the Space Wolves would not be thematically out of the question the way it would be for other more 'ascetic' Space Marine chapters. This being said, Fenrisian Shield Maidens were mentioned as having fought in Wrath of Magnus, so it's also possible that the Space Wolves will stop being a Marines-exclusive force and start incorporating the native warriors of Fenris, though that would be a blatant case of legion building that would draw the attention of the already inclined to look disagreeable on them Inquisition in a way the more Inquisition friendly Ultramarine do not with the Ultramars IG and PDF.

=What Would A Female Space Marine Look Like If They Could Exist?=
[[File:Silver Skull.jpg|right|thumb|Tina likes long walks on the beach and slaying the Emperor's foes.]]
Obviously, in the land of Rule 63 they are amazingly hot [[Rape|(and would totally do]] [[Mary Sue| you)]], but in dark and gritty fluff-land where they would be optimised for combat rather than jacking off, they would probably have very few notable female features left following surgery and genetic fuckery. Marines are made from pre-adolescent kids who still have very little in terms of sexual dimorphism, and the process of transforming includes total rewriting of the hormonal system (which is responsible for developing secondary sexual characteristics).

Hypothetical femarine wouldn't have narrow shoulders, wide hips, (big) breasts, delicate face structures (though the blood angels often manage it), feminine voices or even traditional feminine character traits like higher capacity for empathy and increased aversion against danger as those two psychological traits are pretty easily conditioned in or out of people if you can control their social contacts. And unless you're one of the nice chapters like the Salamanders, Lamenters, or Celestial Lions; empathy is almost certainly going to be trained out of most recruits to make them better able to deal with the kind of guilt that killing other people inflicts on humans. If you don't think that's a big concern, note that this is the kind of guilt that notably caused [[Avitus]] to fall to [[heresy]] when the truth about his chapter master made it his old excuses of it being justified as the chapter being in the right invalid and found himself unable to live with his actions. An entire Chapter of Marines in service to the inquisition who purged civilians who knew too much was also driven insane by the guilt because they simply cared too much for other people. Too much humanity can and will drive space marines to madness over the course of their duties.

In essence neophyte does not mature into man or woman - it matures into '''marine'''. A female Space Marine would only differ from male Space Marine by having (possibly) different genitalia, so no "Samus is a girl" moments would occur, given that they would never have a traditional female puberty. Either way, Female Space Marines are not going to be conventionally attractive. Being recreated exclusively for war tends to do that. They would be bigger than an ordinary human, of course, but they would still be proportioned like a normal human. Or like some bikini model if the Emperor decided he wanted to make hot White Scar bikers or something.

It is worth noting that official art from GW shows that unarmoured space marines look pretty normal if tall and swole discounting all the plug holes in them; like Captain America if he were a head or two taller rather than blob like roid freaks. Which does make sense, as the hulking bodybuilder physique is actually not very good in a fight compared to the more lithe MMA fighter build or the kind of fat looking powerlifter bod and in the military, endurance and leg power matters far more than how big your gains are. It's also worth noting that the sons of Sanguinius in particular are generally handsome in an androgynous, angelic way and that most of the primarchs aren't half bad looking. The Alpha Legion and the Fallen are also able to pass off as normal if tall and buff humans without their power armour. Also worth noting is that many, many marines are somehow able to have long, flowing hair or beards (or both) and still fit helmets onto their heads without issue with what can only be explained by space marine helmets doubling as pocket dimensions.

As Space Marines are surgically altered with organic implants and not traditionally genetically modified, progenoid glands would still play a vital role in gene-seed replication, and any child a female Space marine would have would at most just be guaranteed to be at least somewhat compatible with the chapter's gene seed. All the extra organs that go into a Space Marine are lab-grown things stuck into them that they're genetically compatible with, no more inherently part of the body than a prosthetic arm, and it's very unlikely that they would develop on their own in a Space Marine's child. Knowing Lukas the Trickster's "hey babe, I'm a space marine, wanna see the inside of my land raider?" antics though, it's probable that unless trained to suppress it, they'll still have a sex drive.

And, assuming that Sister Generica can be considered attractive in any form, she's also wearing a ton or two of ceramite power armor, so you wouldn't tell until she speaks or removes her helmet (Though depending on who you ask, that would make her MORE attractive.) And even if she does, you'd have to be a very lucky man to catch her eye during her limited free time, and she'd need to be from a chapter where fraternizing with normal humans is acceptable.

Finally, God Emperor help you if you suggest they wear boob plate. Physics ITSELF says no, and it'd slow down production which - given the current state of the Imperium - all but ensures you'll be ridiculed and [[BLAM|"corrected"]] if you so much as try to suggest it.

=RAGE=

RAGE is generated by this tactic in two distinct ways; either the neckbeards assume that the creator of the work in question is unaware of the Space Marine fluff, and rage about his or her ignorance; failing that, it becomes clear that they are well aware of the fluff regarding these matters and willingly chose to disregard it, sending the poor neckbeards into fits of spastic rage that anyone would dare deliberately defile the sacrosanct canon of Games Workshop's masterpiece.

[[Troll|Still, the aforementioned creator will just ignore him.]]

Alternatively, call your all-female IG army converted to be [[Imperial Navy]] armswomen "custom female space marines" for a joke the guys at the game store will find funny once and infuriating forever after.

=What If I Still Unironically Want This?=

Then it's time to apply some of '[[your dudes]]'. GeeDubs has been downplaying this more and more in the marketing, especially going into 8th edition, but they still secretly love it and never want us to stop applying our stories and color schemes to their precious and expensive models. Besides, with such a thoroughly batshit crazy setting, there's no reason you can't make your toy soldiers girls.

As mentioned before, you could always invoke the two lost Space Marine primarchs and say their geneseed works in females. Maybe a successor chapter somewhere down the line got a mutation and now they need to recruit young girls instead of young boys.

Of course, the "easiest" way that will generate the fewest complaints is just saying that this is possible in your chapter. Either the geneseed your chapter uses is mutated to allow a higher success rate with females, the females are [[Luther|surgically]] [[Kor Phaeron|altered]] to be basically just Space Marines, or that [[Belisarius Cawl|Daddy Cawl]] conveniently forgot to tell Guilliman that the Primarines can take girls too. Or, assuming you don't play in a brick and mortar Games Workshop store, you could try and convince your fellow neckbeards to accept it as a sort of "local canon," the same way you'd all start writing each others homebrew Chapters and Craftworlds into each other's lore. Above all, just remember to try and take it easy.

=Writefaggery=

===A New Arrival===

* From the livelog of Inquisitor Perstringos, archive #32AA9-99
* Redacted copy dispatched to Magos Tzeel'Etil of Mars under code of practice 73-Greyfax-Cawl

The lifespan of an Inquisitorial liaison to the Angry Marines is a famously short one.

Take offence to their unorthodox methods, and you're likely to get your head exploded like an overripe melon. Partake too enthusiastically in their furious idiom and you're likely to get your head exploded like an overripe melon. Stand too near one when they're feeling a little more umbrage than usual and you're likely to... and so on.

I have lasted in the role for nearly seven Angermar months and so consider myself quite the survivor. Alas, my run of good luck may soon be at an end. The Angry Marines are not generally characterised by a cheerful acceptance of change...

especially changes imposed from without...

very particularly especially changes to their unit composition mandated by none other than the Ultramarines, whose very Codex Astartes (oh Guilliman Restored, forgive me!) I have been impelled to use as an item of intimate personal hygiene in the Angry Marines' commode.

And yet today the first company of Primaris Marrnes will be arriving on McRage to join their new battle brothers. The "Guillimarines", as I've heard them called around the barracks here from the day I arrived. The Ultra-Ultrasmurfs. The Fuck-knuckles. The Bitch-clone-fucking-sellout Poser Marines.

Such a momentous occasion will naturally require an Inquisitorial observer on site.

I am going to fucking die.

Which is why I am taking care to record this surreptitious livelog, tapped by my tongue against my molar-transcriptor as I take my place in the Rite of Welcome. My life is nothing, praise the Emperor. Direct observational feedback on the reception of our Imperium's newest super-Astartes into the Chapter deemed least likely to accept them will be invaluable to several parties.

They are docking now with our Battle Barge, the FUCKYOUNAMEITYOURSELF. Their vessel, officially the Undaunted but renamed in our local records "THE OFFICIOUS CUNT-BASKET", is busy initiating standard pre-docking handshake protocol, but I expect that...

yep, there it is. The Angry Marines have taken the simple expedient of ramming the FUCKYOU directly into the Undaunted's docking bay. It was a fair hit. Air is already cycling across both ships with only superficial loss to the void, it won't take long to clear the wreckage, and so the joining Rite is soon to begin.

A mere ten paces in front of me, well within explode-my-head-with-a-backslap range, stands Chapter Master Temperus Maximum himself. An AdMech representative, Magos Errant Gjarran 3FF stands some ways to my left. I am sure I sense fear in the writhing of its mechadendrites.

Two long lines of Angry Marines, each four long files of seven hundred ranks, stretch out behind us in a widening wedge, as though to flaunt the Codex Astartes prohibition on companies larger than a thousand. Aside from their numbers and their angry yellow banners, the most striking sight to one accustomed to other Astartes chapters is the conspicuous lack of bolt pistols in favour of a second chainsword or the heaviest of heavy weapons.

I also note that customary Space Marine practice is to greet newcomers with weapons RAISED, not brandished threateningly -- and thus also pointed directly at my back.

On either side of these lines there mills a mob of chapter serfs, aspirants, servitors and ordinary ship's crew. Banners burn with the emblematic angry face and raised yellow middle finger.

I now hear the stomp of boots but haven't caught sight of the 100 who will be the first in history to join the Angry Marines from outside their chapter. Having already written off my own life, I find myself idly wondering if anyone has warned them of what they will encounter. We went through sixteen liaisons in as many weeks before we started to get the hang of their red lines. How many of these "Primadonna Marines" will survive the year?

Ah, there they are. They march in a column five across, twenty files deep. I see the first file now...

I had heard that these new marines were taller but the effect is staggering. Every Space Marine inspires terrified awe with their size, their power, and above all their devotion to the Emperor. These new Primaris radiate the same majesty... perhaps it is as they humbly claim, that they are no better than their other battle brothers, but they are certainly... newer.

As my eyes take in the holy might of the Emperor's newest instruments, my trained Inquisitor's eye perceives what at first was a vague impression. The specifications of these marines' armor, while taller and sleeker than earlier models, are in fact even sleeker than the schematics of the Mark X Tacticus Armour I have memorised as a matter of course.

How strange. Thinner in the waist. Wider at the hips. Bulkier at the chest... at the bust!

Subtle as the difference is, certainly not detracting from their power and terror, their armour is unquestionably FEMALE.

How?

Before anyone speaks the center Primaris of their first file--surely their Lieutenant--is removing his helmet... HER helmet. By the Emperor! As strong and intimidating and, well, grizzled a face as any Space Marine's, and yet entirely feminine. Long luxurious red hair is cascading down her shoulders... by the Emperor, to live to see these days!

No word yet from the Angry Marines. I fear the worst. I'm enabling my audio pickup; it may well outlive me.

[Lieutenant Pedicaba]: WELL FUCK ME IT'S THE MUTE MARINES! HELLO THE FUCK TO YOU TOO, ASSHOLE!

[Assault Sergeant Dickface, interrupting]: OH NO NO FUCKING NO. NUH-UH. FUCK OFF. CHADMARINES ARE BAD ENOUGH BUT A STACY? GIRLYMAN AIN'T GONNA SHOEHORN SOME BOLTER BITCHES INTO OUR YEEEAAAARGH!!!

[Lieutenant Pedicaba]: WHOOPS DID I JUST "SHOEHORN" MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS? YOU CAN EAT YOUR OWN SHIT OFF MY BOOT LATER, SERGEANT. DO I LOOK TO LIKE I'M ARMED WITH SOME PUSSIFIED BOLTER?

[Chapter Master Tempestum]: WELL FUCKING ARSECHUNKS IF THIS ISN'T A CUNTY TURN OF EVENTS. I'VE SAID FOR MONTHS YOU NU-SMURFS HAVE NO BALLS AND WHADDYA KNOW.

[Lieutenant Pedicaba]: YEAH YOU CAN KISS MY TURGID OVARIES LATER FUCKLICK. LIEUTENANT PEDICABA REPORTING! BY THE EMPEROR'S SWEATY ASSCRACK WE HAVE ARRIVED THROUGH THE WARP INTACT, ONLY ONE LITTLE FUCKSLEAZE DAEMON INCURSION NEEDED ITS SHIT PUSHED IN. ONE HUNDRED NEW ANGRY MARINES ARE YOURS TO COMMAND, MY LORD CHAPTER MASTER!

(Oh Emperor protect us, they're all removing their helmets. Blonde hair, black hair, more redheads... if it weren't for their size you'd know they weren't Sisters of Battle by their color. And their language!)

[Chapter Master Tempestum]: HEY COGBITCH, YOU SURE THOSE FAGNUTS FROM MARS SENT THE RIGHT DELiVERY?

[Magos Gjarran]: All is in order, lord Chapter Master. These are indeed the Primaris Marines assigned by my masters to your most holy Chapter, uncorrupted by the Warp and in perfect genetic order. The Machine God smiles upon your union.

[Chapter Master Tempestum]: AND YOUR ARCH-ANUS FAGMASTERS DIDN'T SEE FIT TO MENTION THEY COME WITH A CUNT APIECE?

[Lieutenant Pedicaba]: YOU WANT "A PIECE" OF CUNT JUST FUCK YOUR OWN WHORE MOUTH, MY LORD.

[Chapter Serf Urguet Incelium, interrupting]: No!! Stop!! Please!! I can't bear it!

(Has this serf lost his mind! What is he doing?)

[Chapter Serf Urguet Incelium]: My lords, this cannot be! Kill me if you will, but we cannot have fucking WOMEN ruining EVERYTHING! It's all a trick by... by SLAANESH JUSTICE WARRIORS to force the evil of HEResy upon us. A trick! The holy gene-seed can't work on females! Blah!

(The Primaris nearest the serf has just spat on him. Looks like she got him right in the crotch.)

[Chapter Serf Urguet Incelium]: You stupid bitch! I'll fucking end you! I'll take a flamer to all the vapid whores in the Progenium! I'll...

[a distinct sizzling noise is audible]

[Interceptor Miserabila]: GUESS MY BETCHER'S GLAND WORKS AFTER ALL, HUH ASS-BADGER?

[Chapter Serf Urguet Incelium]: My DICK! Oh FUCK, OH EMPEROR! MY BALLS! MY BALLS ARE MELTING AWAY! AHHH!

[Lieutenant Pedicaba]: "BETCHER" WEREN'T USING THOSE ANYWAY, PANSY-ASS QUEEFSNIFF.

[Chapter Serf Urguet Incelium]: [voice dissolves into screams and groans]

[Chapter Master Tempestum]: HEH HEH, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT. MAYBE YOU REDRAGE WHORES WON'T EMBARRASS THE REAL SOLDIERS TOO MUCH AFTER ALL. TELL YOU WHAT, LET'S WIPE OUT THE ASSCHEESE HERETICS PLANETSIDE AND I'LL LET YOU FIX ME A SANDWICH.

[Lieutenant Pedicaba]: SAY THAT TO MY HAIRY PUSS, MY LORD CHAPTER MASTER PISS-BREATH. NOW ARE YOU GONNA FIND US SOME HERESY TO MURDER OR ARE YOU GOING TO STAND THERE ALL DAY LIKE YOU'RE SCARED OF A LADY?

[Chapter Master Tempestum]: WE MAKE PLANETFALL IN TWENTY MINUTES. WELCOME TO THE ANGRY MARINES... BATTLE BROTHER.

[Lieutenant Pedicaba]: YEAH, SLURP SHIT SISTER.

Audio pick-up disabled. I think that was the ceremony. The Angry Marines, Primaris and all, are exchanging soldierly embraces and head-butts and marching back to the barge, chanting as one, "ALWAYS ANGRY! ALL THE TIME! ALWAYS ANGRY! ALL THE TIME!"

I'm racing down the corridor with Magos Giarran as fast as my legs will take me. You just know they're going to perform an "expedited undocking" with fucking frag grenades. Again. Planetfall in seventeen minutes. If I'm somehow not rendered into inquisitor-flavoured jello... well, I'm already praising the Emperor's unlimited munificence that I'm alive at all.

Word must get back to Mars. If the Primera mix so well even with the Angry Marines, they'll be a valuable reinforcement to all our companies. In our darkest hour, the Imperium's new hopes redouble.

+++
Thought for the Day: The Emperor has fury enough for us all.
+++

=See Also=

*[[Golden Aquilas]]: /tg/ [[homebrew]] chapter, designed to cause as much [[Rage|RAEG]] and accusations of [[derp]] as possible.
*[[Space Marines]]: Rule 63 equivalent of female Space- wait...
*[[Sisters of Battle]]: The warrior nuns of the Imperium that wear power armor, often fight with bolters and chainswords, and are in a sense the "real female space marines" of Warhammer 40,000.
*[[Stormcast Eternals]], GW's [[Warhammer Fantasy|Fantasy]] Space Marines in [[Age of Sigmar]], which can be any species and gender thanks to their magical origins. At least one Stormcast group was announced to be comprised of men and women and SURPRISE WARHAMMER SHADESPIRE WAS ANNOUNCED AND FEATURES A FEMALE STORMCAST MINIATURE. And the Sacrosanct Chamber added a bunch more.
*[[Samus]]: How about a female Primar-{{BLAM}}{{BLAM|REVEALING IMPERIAL SECRETS IS HERESY!}}
*[[A Song of Ice and Fire|Brienne of Tarth]]: The quintessential female space marine; through the obsession with duty and honour to the bulky, muscly form and skill at arms.
*[[Daughters of Terra]] A not-quite Space Marines Female Space Marines chapter.

=Gallery=
<center><gallery>
Image:Sisters of anger2.png|A girl can get angry too.
Image:1227373581722.gif|Lol. Why u mad tho?
Image:Nidsrape.jpg|Good to know the Smurfs get fucked by Tyranids no matter who their genestock accepts.
File:Love is a Battlefield by blazbaros.png|An almost perfect example of a female space marine, complete with the typical bulky space marine form.
Image:spessbitch.jpg|Not in fact [[Horo]].
File:Female_warhammer_40k_imperium_model_--_100D0212.jpg|She'd be even scarier if she took off that mask.
File:Female_space_marine_warhammer_40k_model_--_Female_Warrior_Gabs.jpg|Old Imperial Adventurer from [[Rogue Trader|Ye Olden Days]].
File:Female_space_marine_warhammer_40k_model_--_Female_Warrior_Jayne.jpg|Your eyes should start bleeding right about now.
File:Female_space_marine_warhammer_40k_--_Ingunna_Daughter_of_Russ_by_Greymark.jpg|BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
File:1k heresy.jpg|<s>Not</s> [[Just as planned]]. Now you know why Tzeentch doesn't invite Slaanesh to his birthday parties anymore.
File:Firstkeeper.jpg
File:Primarchs as teen girls.png| The Emperor made the Primarchs to be the greatest human warriors of all time, but [[Warhammer_High|even they were not immune]] to [[Rule 63]].
File:Femprah_by_Mr-Culexus.jpg|She was not amused by this development.
File:Saber ultra marine.jpg|Don't piss off Mama Smurf. [[FATAL|Your ass will not survive]].
File:Chaos saber.jpg|Still less of a failure than the real Abaddon.
File:Belldandy_blood_raveness_for_propertyoflamb_by_elvishprincess25-d9z451u.jpg|Belldandy of the Blood Ravens... Bloody Bell?
File:Propoflambcomm_urd_space_wolf_by_elvishprincess25-db1s3ab.jpg|Urd of the Space Wolves.
File:Skuld_amg_as_wh_iron_hand_by_elvishprincess25-daeba5v.jpg|Skuld of the Iron Hands.
File:The Little Sisters of Purification 1.png| Canon or not, the ideas's been around for a while.
File:The Little Sisters of Purification 2.png| Featuring Jokaero. Yes, there is a scenario.
File:Adepta Mechania Warpsmith (Pre Heresy) 01.png|Because metal tentacle rape That's Why.
File:Ariel Ventris 01.png
</gallery></center>

[[Category:Imperial]][[Category:Space Marines]][[Category:RAGE]]

Thousand Sons

2020-07-27T02:28:48Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:748C:B105:AA91:7BA4: /* Gallery */

{{Infobox Traitor Legion
|Name = Thousand Sons
|Heraldry = [[File:Thousandsonslogo.jpg|250px]]
|Battle Cry = "All is dust..."
|Number = XV
|Primarch = [[Magnus the Red]]
|Original Homeworld = [[Prospero]]
|Current Homeworld = [[Sortiarius]] (latin for sorcerer), also known as the Planet of the Sorcerers
|Champion/Chapter Master= [[Ahzek Ahriman]]
|Specialty = [[Psyker]]s, [[Chaos Sorcerer]]s, [[Just as Planned]], [[Reasonable Marines|Taking key points with minimal casualties]]
|Strength = Each one of the Nine Cult contains hundreds of Sorcerers leading thousands of Rubricae, giving somewhere under 10,000 Sons in total.
|Allegiance = [[Tzeentch]],([[Just as Planned|And whoever is working for him at the time]]), [[Reasonable Marines| whoever asks for their aid that is not a xeno]]
|Colours = Dark teal and yellow with gold trim , post M.31 ,although some warbands may adopt alternate color schemes (Pre-Heresy: Red with Gold trim)
}}
{{heresy}}

{{Topquote|The point was to learn what it was we feared more: being misunderstood or being betrayed.|Adam Levin}}
{{Topquote|If you want to make [[Tzeentch|God]] laugh, tell him about your plans.|Woody Allen}}
{{Topquote|The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance|Thousand Sons catchphrase/motto pre-heresy}}
{{Topquote|NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!|A typical Space Wolf commenting on The Thousand Sons}}
{{Topquote|Everything is dust in the wind.|Kansas, "Dust in the Wind"}}

The Thousand Sons are a [[Chaos]] Space Marine legion that fully devote themselves to [[Tzeentch]]...which may not make them chaos marines at all given the mollusk's tendencies. Their Primarch is [[Magnus the Red]], an extremely psychically powerful Daemon Primarch with one eye and a magnificent red mane. The legion, when founded, had a mutation in the gene-seed that caused uncontrollable mutation that led to quick death (presumably because it was corrupted by the warp). Magnus became desperate in saving his legion, so he made a pact with Tzeentch and sacrificed one of his eyes to seal the deal. By that time only about 1000 marines remained alive. [[Not as planned|Turns out]] this sacrifice was in vain because Tzeentch [[Troll|tricked]] Magnus into believing that the deed was done, when in fact the sacrifice was only done to post-pone the mutation in the gene-seed. During the siege of their home planet Prospero by [[Space Wolves|those damned furries]], the Thousand Sons started to succumb to random mutation and turn [[Chaos Spawn|into something that must not be named]] before dying violent deaths.
Later, on the Planet of the Sorcerers, Ahzek Ahriman of the Thousand Sons cast the Rubic of Ahriman to save the legion again, but failed, [[Grimdark|as their mortal bodies were turned into dust and their souls bound to their power armor forever]].

No, seriously. Incredibly pissed-off dust. Due to this, they have the single coolest battle cry ever. A far reaching, otherworldly whisper into the soul, "All is dust", which makes it all the more terrifying and awesome. Unfortunately, being literal dust means that their one true weakness is the almighty vacuum cleaner. Luckily, the Imperium has still not caught on to this, so for now... ALL IS STILL DUST HA HA HA!

They are also the only known Traitor Legion to still have their own PDF equivalent called the [[Prospero Spireguard|Spireguard]] which used to defend Prospero back in the Great Crusade and is now defending Sortiarius. Spireguards unlike the raging retards of other Chaos Cultists are well disciplined and thought well of by the Thousand Sons, acting more like an armed and trained militia rather then a rag-tag team of drug addicts and serial killers. This is to not only pay sentimental homage to their original home but it also allows allied support for the Thousand Sons during a campaign to kick the [[Space Wolves|furries]] in their hairy ass nuts. Therefore making the Thousand Sons one of the few [[Reasonable Marines|reasonable traitor legions]] that is not [[Alpha Legion]] or [[Blood Gorgons]].

==History==
===Pre-heresy===
During the pre-Heresy era, when the Great Crusade was underway, the Thousand Sons was the first legion to exhibit psychic powers and were the deadliest, the killiest of all the legions because on top of being Astartes, they extensively (and freely) used their psychic powers from all kinds of different disciplines at the same time. Naturally, because of the [[Witch Hunters|Imperium's never ending fear of psykers]], they were usually distrusted by most of the Imperium, especially [[Mortarion]] and his Death Guard. Nevertheless, they were tolerated because they were totally awesome, used their abilities to wondrous effect in service of the Imperium, and in general were exceptionally badass (Superhuman warrior-monk magicians for the win!!).

However, the Thousands Sons' luck ran out eventually. Magnus and his Legion were called to the [[Council of Nikaea]]: a grand gathering of the Emperor and most his sons to decide if the Imperium would allow Astartes to use warp based abilities. At the Council of Nikaea it was determined that these powers were too dangerous, so therefore restricted. While they were never proved to be sorcerers, the Thousands Sons were forced to dissolve their Librarius along with everyone else, except for the White Scars, who ignored it, the World Eaters, whose Librarium was so small they didn't even bother disbanding it, the Space Wolves who believed that their [[Rune Priest|librarians]] somehow weren't working with the warp, and the Word Bearers, who were already [[Heresy|quietly sacrificing people to chaos]]. Predictably, Magnus didn't give a shit either and headed home to Prospero to continue being a sorcerer in secret.

===Heresy===
[[File:A Thousand Sons.jpg|300px|right|thumb|Welcome to Prospero Bitch!]]
Before the actual start of the [[Horus Heresy]], Magnus learned of [[Horus]]' corruption and used his powers of sorcery to warn the [[Empra]] about his oh-most-favored son's impending treachery, and that his favored son, if not stopped, was about to [[FATAL|fuck everything up]] and destroy everything the Emperor had sought to build. Unfortunately Magnus' contacting the Emperor in this fashion could not have occurred at a worse time: it caused the Webway portal and the Golden Throne which the Emperor was building to suffer a Blue Screen of Death (Windows has stopped responding. In the grim darkness of the far future there is only Windows Vista) and become damaged beyond repair, and in addition caused a massive psychic blowout across all of Terra, crippling Astropath communication and inducing psychosis-related rebellions and suicides world-wide (see Outcast Dead novel).

<s>Only slightly</s> Way too bummed that he had screwed-up the Emperor's master-plan, Magnus headed back to Prospero in order to prepare to receive the Empra's mercy (read: to be killed in a very cruel way), and sent the Sons' fleet to buy some drinks. Meanwhile, the [[Emperor]], royally pissed at Magnus for damaging the Throne and unwilling to believe his most favored son could betray him, sent the [[Space Wolves]] to arrest him. Horus, who was digging Chaos already, pulled a move worthy of [[Eldrad|Eldrad Ulthran]] in terms of dickery, and sent a fake message to [[Leman Russ]] - with orders to destroy the Thousand Sons instead.

Unable (or unwilling) to contact the Thousand Sons to offer them a last chance to surrender and evacuate the civilians, the loyalist Space Wolves opened fire on Prospero, Magnus' homeworld, and caused immeasurable damage to some of the largest caches of knowledge in the fucking Imperium. Chief Librarian [[Ahzek Ahriman]] then decided to ignore his Primarch's orders and, in a show of true manliness, led the Thousand Sons and the Spireguard in a defence of the capital and the lives of all within. Outnumbered something like five to one against not only the Wolves but the [[Adeptus Custodes]] and the [[Sisters of Silence]], the Sons managed to inflict heavy casualties to the Wolves, but everything started to fall when two or three of the Sons' officers exploded after using too much Warp energy, causing a chain reaction of the Thousand Sons randomly mutating and exploding. The defensive line was reduced to the Pyramid of Photep, Magnus' HQ and last shelter for the civilians. Magnus finally joined the battle, unable to watch his Sons get massacred any more, and decided to challenge Leman Russ in single combat. While he put up a good fight, even breaking Russ's breastplate and piercing one of his hearts, Russ eventually beat Magnus down. Just before being hacked to pieces by the angry brother and as the Wolves started to close in on the remnant of his Legion, Magnus gave himself over to Tzeench. He and the rest of the Thousand Sons reappeared on the Planet of the Sorcerers. Magnus swore vengeance against Russ and the other Marines who had stupidly ignored his warnings, and started plotting against the Wolves and the rest of the Imperium that betrayed him.

''Inferno'' puts a different set of events to describe the end of the Battle of Prospero. In-universe, an examination by the Adeptus Astra Telepathica reveals that only a being such as [[Tzeentch]] could have teleported anyone across the galaxy, and as always, [[Sindri Myr|power demands sacrifice]]. The writer goes on to mention that some insane scholars theorized that [[What|rather than transporting the remaining survivors of the Thousand Sons, Tzeentch only teleported Ahriman to the Planet of the Sorcerors, consuming his remaining brother Legionaries as a sacrifice to fuel the act. Every other Thousand Son after that point was a duplicate created by Tzeentch to have Ahriman cast the Rubric]].

After these events [[Tzeentch]] walked up and sat on his throne in the Hidden Library, at which point he conjured a [[martini]] glass with his alcohol of choice and sipped from it. He then set it down on the arm rest, held his hands together, chuckled and muttered "[[Just As Planned]]".

===[[Rubric Marines]]===
[[File:1297640558332.jpg|250px|right|thumb|The Thousand Sons' custom/basic infantry unit:The Rubric Marine.]]
{{topquote|'''Just as planned!'''|Ahzek Ahriman, who'd never been so wrong in his life before (or after) that}}

''(Aka The Day Management changed all the employment terms and conditions and forgot to inform the workforce, not even a memo. The Unions were pissed.)''

As mentioned previously, the Thousand Sons' army was at one point 66% dust. This was primarily because of [[Ahzek Ahriman]]'s FML spell: The Rubric of Ahriman.[[File:1288054902571.jpg|right|thumb|They didn't take the news well...]] This rite damned everyone without psychic powers to be [[Grimdark|turned into ash and their soul to be sealed for all eternity into their permanently sealed armor unless the armor itself is broken]]; until [[Games Workshop]] gets its head out of its ass (which will probably never happen), it also damned those WITH psychic powers, as Gee Dubs [[Derp|is now claiming]] most of the Scarab Occult Terminators were psykers who got Rubricked, which also means that only the most powerful psykers lived through the spell.
Originally this was supposed to stop the mutations they were experiencing, as ongoing mutation paired with the earlier slaughter of the Thousand Sons by the Space Wolves meant that they were slowly dying out, and Magnus and the Thousand Sons actively sought a way to stop it. Figuring out his own method from Magnus' spellbooks, Ahriman crafted a ritual that caused any Marines with mutations to either survive with their mutations cured and psychic powers augmented - or turned to dust if they weren't a strong enough to resist the change. It's worth noting that Ahriman's plan was actually to cure the whole Legion of mutations, but the Warp being the Warp, [[FAIL|things got out of hand]]. Suffice to say Magnus was [[rage|fucking pissed]] and sought to kill Ahriman, but Tzeentch [[troll|applauded]] Ahriman and saved his ass. The spirit-armor Marines became known as Rubric Marines.

Rubric Marines are automatons - without a strong guiding presence, they lapse into a passive state - they are immortal beyond even a Space Marine's immortality and thus make the perfect guardians for the libraries and bases of the Thousand Sons. When guided by a Sorcerer or placed in the front lines against a foe, their old battle-hunger returns and they move with more of a sense of purpose. They obey orders without hesitation, and know no fear. Making them far more fearsome, their Sorcerers equip them with modified bolter rounds that are enchanted to explode into bursts of white-hot warp-fire on impact, burning through armor with incredible speed. Additionally, since they're functionally animated suits of armor, they possess phenomenally strong supernatural protection due to their construction and are a bitch to kill as a result. They are, however, incredibly slow.

Whilst the current generation of Rubric Marines date back to the Thousand Sons' expulsion of Ahriman, it's believed they have the ability to make more by using altered and notably scaled-down versions of the rite that resulted in the Rubric. Even with this, however, the creation of them is lengthy and time-consuming, ergo guaranteeing that their enemies will slowly whittle down their numbers by drowning them in corpses, which is pretty much the tactic used by the Imperials against chaos marines constantly. Though, like all major Chaos Marine forces, the Thousand Sons have their own armies of lesser men: Surprisingly non-traitor Chaos Guard called Spireguard, which is used to drown their enemies in corpses or to tie up Imperial meatshields whilst Rubric Marines and Sorcerers do the jobs that matter. In editions past it was mentioned, that Thousand Sons Sorcerers can reanimate killed (broken?) Rubric Marines with a simple yet time-consuming ritual and Magnus himself can somehow bring back fallen Sorcerers in his super-awesome Black Tower on the Sorcerers Planet. All of this was possible due to how the Rubric made the souls of both Golems and Sorcerers all but immune to the powers of Warp so they cannot be nommed by daemons - although, as [[Erebus]] showed in "Betrayer", it is quite possible (though not easy) to resurrect even one whose soul "was torn apart and eaten by daemons". It was never retconned, so we can assume that this fluff is still valid, and no matter how many Thousand Sons you've killed, they'll always [[Commissar Yarrick|come]] [[Anval Thawn|back]] [[Lugft Huron|from]] the [[Necrons|dead]]. At least they wouldn't do it right the next second, just after you've killed them.

Tabletop-wise Rubric marines are of debatable use. Yes they're fearless, are fairly good at being shooty, especially if their bolters are enchanted, has a +4 invul save, so basically, they rape any kind of infantry that doesn't have the toughness of a Terminator. But on the downside, they're slow like termies and aren't necessarily as tough as them, they're nearly useless if the sorcerer leading them dies, they don't wow anyone in CQC, and overall they're hard to use for beginners. Overall, sort of a bridge between the shootiness of Slaanesh Noise Marines, toughness of Nurgle Plague Marines, and the fearlessness of Khornate Berzerkers. Throw them in a [[METAL BOXES|Rhino]] and let the games begin. You really have to know what you're doing with these guys. They CAN do quite awesome, but you need to use them right. And having Tzeentch smile upon you (in a way) never hurts.

The Thousand Sons have a distinctive battle cry [[Grimdark|''"All is Dust."'']] Only the relatively rare standard Marines they have however, scream it - instead, the sorcerers typically emit it [[Awesome|as a sonorous chant, accompanied by flickers of warp-light as the squad emerges from seemingly nowhere]].
[[File:All Is Dust by MajesticChicken.jpg|250px|right|thumb|Ahzek Ahriman, aka The One Who Psy-Bolts your Ass to Death.]]

===Post-Rubric===
Like most other Chaos legions, the Thousand Sons broke their coherence after the Heresy and split into small warbands, or in their case "warcovens" (because space witches). Those warcovens are usually not just small, but ''tiny'', with few of them having more than four or five sorcerers and a few dozen golems. As the Thousand Sons fleet survived the burning of Prospero and the Rubric pretty much unscratched, every single one of these covens usually has at least one cruiser-class ship and probably a few escort wings, and it's not uncommon for them to fill these ships with some nasty shit like Dark Mechanicum robots, daemon engines, summoned daemons, or animated constructs to make sure they're safe from boarding parties despite their numerical disadvantage when it comes to clashes with other CSM warbands. They usually hire themselves as mercenaries for bigger warbands, Dark Mechanicum forges, or the Black Legion, in exchange for resources, knowledge, and magical trinkets, which they then move to their base of operations on the Soritarius, the Sorcerers' planet; there, they can study them and nerd out in their libraries, while plotting to outshine each other in "the nerdiest sorcerer of the Galaxy" contest. While many of them no longer hold much love for their daemonic Primarch (no surprises here as his good and noble aspect was consumed in the creation of Ianus / Janus, the first supposed Grand Master of the Grey Knights), their loyalty to him stems from the simple fact that he's capable of bringing dead sorcerers back to life without even need for their corpses, with a nice bonus of having the access to the Soritarius' resources and research facilities. Still, some warcovens (like Ahriman's Prodigal Sons) went rogue and cut their ties with their new homeworld, and [[Iskandar Khayon|some]] decided to [[Black Legion|wear black]] and join [[Abaddon|the Despoiler]] in his [[Long War]] - in fact pretty much all of the Black Legion's top-ranked sorcerers and diviners are ex-Thousand Sons, and they are amongst the most valued members of the legion, some even part of Abaddon's inner circle.

With the redo of the Thousand Sons line, the above has been quite heavily retconned. While some did break from the Legion, many remained within its ranks; splitting into Thrallbands (Small Companies) and Sects (Small Chapters). While they are members of the Legion none are exactly loyal (although there are some standout cases of those who are). Each individual brother serves his own purposes and sees his group as a way of personal advancement. In the same way, the leaders of groups serve Magnus only because of the resources and connections that come with being in the Legion. Even the Rehati and their Cult Command (Magnus’ Inner Circle, kinda) are implied to all be scheming against each other, and even him to an extent. This is not that dissimilar to the old lore, as each group is essentially its own warband, generally doing what it wants. While using the resources of Sortarious in exchange for occasionally helping out in the Cults aims, in fact, some groups (mostly from the Cult of Duplicity) have been exiled for disobedience/team killing yet still remain in the cult because they are useful. So basically nothing changed much apart from we now have a legion of autistic space wizards fumbling about as they fail to purge the space furries because Bob's too busy dicking Dave over.

===Wrath of Magnus===
{{Topquote|ENOUGH! You are all my sons, born of my blood. Some loyal and faithful through the ages; some wayward and treacherous, walking their own paths. But the crimes of the past mean nothing. All paths have led back here. [[Awesome|The Blade of Fate hangs above Fenris; together, we shall drive it deep into the icy earth of that worthless world.]]|Magnus the Red}}

As of recently, Magnus has gotten off his ass and returned some semblance of unity and order to his legion (which had been falling apart for ten thousand years) in a colossal scheme of [[Just as Planned]] to royally fuck up the Space Yiffs, involving Daemons, Wulfen, and Bringing the Planet of the sorcerers into the material realm. Doing this, they used the fact that the Wulfen only appeared when [[Daemons]] appeared to trick the [[Grey Knights]] and [[Dark Angels]] into thinking that the Wolves had fallen to chaos. This ended with a dead Wolf Lord, the majority of the Fenrisian population being either killed or Sterilised by the Grey Knights, the chapter crippled very badly, and currently bitching and crying their way to [[Cadia]] to recover.

Seeing the way [[Mortarion|Morty]] launched the invasion of the [[Scourge Stars]], the Sons realized that they needed a place too. So, they took [[Stygius Sector|several planets from the Imperium]], including the homeworld of the [[Mordian Iron Guard|Mordian Guardsmen]]!

== Legion Disposition ==

===Pre-Heresy===
The Thousand Sons had Nine Fellowships, each of which roughly equivalent to a normal Company. The Legionaries of the Fellowships were further divided into Cults, each with their own Psychic Specialty. They are listed below in no particular order.
*'''Corvidae''': The Corvidae were the Seers of the Thousand Sons. They traveled the Warp in search of all outcomes of the future. Ahriman was their Magister Templi. Magnus' equerry, Amon, who was his adoptive father, was also Corvidae.
*'''Pyrae''': As the name suggests, the Pyrae were a Cult focused on offensive spells, mainly fire (Perhaps they like the Salamanders). Khalophis was the Magister Templi, who died from warp overload at the Burning of Prospero, due to possessing a warlord titan, killing many furries.
*'''Raptora''': The Raptora used powers of Telekinesis to form kine shields and punch shit with their mind. Their Magister Templi was Phosis T’kar, one of the few marines who managed to scare the shit out of a Custodian.
*'''Pavoni''': The Pavoni were the masters of Biomancy and Fleshcrafting, and were known to be vain enough to rival the Emperor's Children. Their Magister Templi is Haathor Maat, who was so beautiful Fulgrim tried to get him for his Legion once.
*'''Athanaeans''': The Athanaeans were the telepaths of the Thousand Sons, and were capable of mind control (They usually couldn't control someone completely, merely alter their thoughts - e.g. make them think enemies were allies.) and mind reading. They were useful in finding out enemy strategies. Their Magister Templi was Baleq Uthizzar.

===Post-Heresy===
After the Rubric of Ahriman, Magnus replaced the Legion's Nine Fellowships with Nine Cults. Each of them specializing in a facet of Tzeentch. while these cults may wax and wane in power, there are always nine.

At the top of the Legion is Magnus the Red and his Rehati. Each of the Rehati is a Magister Templi, and one of the most powerful and favored Daemon Princes or Exalted Sorcerers in the legion. At the head of each Cult is a Magister Templi and his coven of nine powerful Exalted Sorcerers or Daemon Princes, who help him run the Cult. These Cults are a gathering of unnumbered Sects that are lead by Sorcerers, who, whilst inherently self-serving, are nonetheless working towards the same common purpose.

*'''Cult of Prophecy:''' These guys are guided by the incessant whispers that bleed from the warp. They divine the outcomes of multiple futures, and seek out events that can be twisted to their own purpose.
*'''Cult of Time:''' They view the flow of time as an unwrought resource that can be shaped into a weapon. By their victories, ripples are sent both forwards and backwards in time, so that their enemies may be defeated before they are even engaged. One particularly cool example of a Time Sorcerer is when a squad of Imperial Fists were [[Troll|forced to relive the same events over and over until all of them died]].
*'''Cult of Mutation:''' They embrace the warping of flesh, and also the warping of reality itself. By their hand civilised planets are transformed into Daemon worlds, and entire populations moulded into grotesque abominations and various assorted gribblies.
*'''Cult of Scheming:''' To them, the creation of convoluted plots is to them a form of profane worship. Every conquest and withdrawal is a perfectly planned manoeuvre, a single step that leads towards some unseen master stroke. Naturally, the phrase [[Just As Planned]] applies most naturally to these guys.
*'''Cult of Magic:''' Dedicated to the pure and unfettered use of sorcery, their bloody campaigns are launched to secure arcane objects held by Imperial, xenos and other Chaos forces, making them part Tomb Raider part Space Wizard. These artefacts are used as foci in the weaving of devastating spells.
*'''Cult of Knowledge:''' These guys are drawn to the myriad curiosities hidden throughout the galaxy, particularly tomes of eldritch learnings, dark secrets and paradoxical logics. Through such lore, the cult is able to extrapolate the weaknesses in their enemies, and in the fabric of reality itself.
*'''Cult of Change:''' Anathema to order. They are the great unravellers, launching their armies wherever civilisation and reason exist. Similarly, in places of utter anarchy, the cult appears to impose their ever-shifting will. The most chaotic of the bunch, tied with the Cult of Mutation.
*'''Cult of Duplicity:''' Is a unique within the Legion in that it both is and is not guided by a unified desire. The Sorcerers of this cult are by their very nature deceivers, at once appearing fractured and singular in their purpose. As such, it is impossible to know whether the sects within the cult are acting independently or as part of a singular, terrifying plan.
*'''Cult of Manipulation:''' Using its tendrillar web of influence to sway the actions of its enemies. Vast networks of mortal and daemonic spies allow the cult to oversee their plots as they unfold through assassination, possession and the wreaking of pure havoc. Easily some of the most dickish.

Consisting of multiple Thrallbands, each Sect is lead by an Arch Magister who's an Exalted Sorcerer or a Daemon Prince with his Retinue, Familiars and Bodyguards. They have their own color scheme that is assigned by their Arch Magister, to distinguish them from other Sects. Thrallbands consist of nine lesser Sorcerer Thralls under the command of a Magister, who is a Sorcerer, Exalted Sorcerer or Daemon Prince. Beneath the Magister and his favorite wizards are lesser thralls – Aspiring Sorcerers and Scarab Occult Sorcerers who direct the ranks of lifeless Rubricae and Scarab Occult Terminators. Thrallbands may go on their missions alone, or with other Thrallbands. Some Thrallbands may have been exiled from Sortiarius, or left to do their own thing. Regardless, they always work towards furthering the Cult's goals, whether they know it or not.

Not much detail is given as to how the Thousand Sons' armory of vehicles works post-rubric, beyond the fact that they ''do'' still have and use vehicles, old legion leftovers as well as new stuff they stole. It's probably safe to assume that it's all maintained and piloted either by human cultists or [[Beastmen (40k)#Tzaangors|Tzaangors]] these days with maybe a few leftover Rubric Tech<s>marines</s>nomancers.

===Notable Thrallbands===
* '''The [[Prodigal Sons]]''': [[Ahriman|Ahriman's]] Warband. They're the unoffical posterboys of the Sons.
* '''The Tizcan Host''': They are known for their delusion that the Rubric [[What|is a feasible way of achieving purity]], and they announce their prescence on the battlefield by launching down massive iridescent rays of light. As you do.
* '''The Sect of the Red Echo''': Once known for their calmness, they are now known for causing such havoc that those in the Cult of Time can supposedly hear the screams of their victims in the Warp following them wherever they go.
* '''The Crystal Harbingers''': The cool kids that get to dive into the very centers of the [[Silver Tower of Tzeentch]]s to find out various secrets, daemonic bargains, and other such chaotic things to use to fuck with the Imperium.
*'''The Hermetic Blades''': As a Sub-Sect of the Cult of Mutation, the Hermetic Blades believe that flesh is a prison of the soul (or at least, those in the Blades that ''have'' flesh do). They tend to take prisoners back to Sortarius to subject them to gruesome and soulflaying tortures.

==Connections with the [[Blood Ravens]]?==
It's never proven to be absolutely [[canon]], but in the "A Thousand Sons" novel from the Horus Heresy book series, there are some hints that the Blood Ravens stemmed from a Thousand Sons cult who remained loyal to the Emperor, which was a large force of Thousand Sons marines who were sent outside Prospero before the Space Wolves came to fuck the whole planet over. Specifically, the most painfully obvious of the hints is this particular line from the novel where a [[remembrancer]] is using divination:

<center>'''''It's too late... the [[Space Wolves|Wolf]] is at the door and it hungers for blood. Oh, Throne... no, the blood! The Ravens, I see them too. The lost sons and a Raven of blood. They cry out for salvation and knowledge, but it is denied!'''''</center>

Since these Marines never fought the Space Wolves and weren't drawn into Magnus' plans of heresy and revenge, or didn't even hear about it, after getting their planet bombed, they remained loyal to the Emprah. Probably because they, like Leman Russ, discovered after the fact that it was a trick. Sucks to be Russ when he found out.

In the ''Age of Darkness'' short story ''Rebirth'', Revuel Arvida is the last survivor of a scouting party from a ship that made it back to Prospero. The end of the story has him saying "knowledge is power" and focusing on the raven of the Corvidae cult on his pauldron (also, the rest of his armor is red). He gets off of Prospero with the help of the White Scars later, after surviving for ages alone without food or water whilst fighting psychneuin, then getting involved in a fight against Mortarion's bodyguards (need we add that this was a fight between the Terminator elites of two Legions, and Arvida survived despite being clad in regular power armour), and finally creating a psychic beacon to get his and the Scars' arses off the planet. Except that wasn't final, as he spent four years at war beside the Scars, fighting the flesh-change, bitch-slapping Eidolon with his psychic powers and guiding the entire Legion fleet to Terra through the Webway. Compare his name to "Azariah Vidya," the earliest recorded (though not the first) Chapter Master of the Blood Ravens.

Eventually though it was revealed that Arvida merged with his Tutelary spirit and/or a broken Shard of Magnus which he left behind on Terra when he broke the Golden Throne. The resulting amalgamation cured Arvida's body of mutations (but sealed around one of his eyes with scar tissue) and took the name "Ianius" ''(also the name of his Tutelary)'' Possibly later to be known as Janus, the founder and the first supreme grandmaster of the Grey Knights, especially since physical descriptions of Janus show him with a squint in one of his eyes. Much shit was flipped by TS, BR, and GK fans that day, while fans of Arvida were just glad to know that his tale wouldn't end as a That Which Must Not Be Named.. On the other hand, it does not explain what happened to his gene-seed (assuming it was replaced by implants from the Emperor like Epimethius having his Dark Angel gene-seed replaced and sealed).

And note that the Blood Ravens have no idea which legion or chapter they originally came from and the fact that they produce an unusually higher number of Psykers than your average marine chapter and the Thousand Sons were known to have a large number of Psykers in their legion, as well as having a fetish for various flavors of knowledge. Also, the Thousand Sons' pre-heresy colors are strikingly similar to the Blood Ravens', the only difference is that instead of a white trim, the Blood Ravens use black, but the armor's overall color and their helmet's visor color are virtually the same.

Additionally, certain records were found upon Kronus that alluded to the Chapter's origin, yet Thule had them destroyed. Some suggest that the evidence was so damning as to link them to prove this theory. Alternatively, it may simply be that the records were in fact [[Azariah Kyras]]' perverted [[/d/]]eviant porn and Thule destroyed it because of the sheer amount of extra-heresy it contains that it would drive any lesser man to insanity.

There is some more evidence that the Blood Ravens are a Thousand Sons offshoot in the book ''[[Dawn of War]]: Tempest'', but '''that''' was written by [[C.S. Goto]], so take it with a grain of salt.

The November 2016 issue of White Dwarf almost explicitly states that Blood Ravens are an offshoot of the Thousand Sons.

{{topquote|Rather nice chaps, I thought.|Brother-Captain Jefferies, Classy Marines Fourth Company}}

==Daily Rituals of the Thousand Sons==
*'''04:00 - Morning Reveille:''' The Thousand Sons (at least the fleshbags) awake from their sarcophagi.

*'''04:10 - Rubric Inspection:''' The Thousand Sons Sorcerers inspect the Rubric Marines to see if some sense of normalacy has returned to them.

*'''05:00 - Morning Prayer:''' The Thousand Sons gather to pray that Tzeentch won't fuck them over and that the Imperium hasn't yet weaponized vacuum cleaners.

*'''06:00 - Morning Firing and Sorcery Rites:''' The Thousand Sons practice their shooting and magical skills on warp beasts.

*'''08:00 - Battle Practice:''' The Thousand Sons descend upon the twisted Pyramids on Sortiarius to test out their combat prowess.

*'''09:00 - Morning Meal:''' A morning meal is handed out to the non-Rubric Thousand Sons by the legion's psychic serfs. The Thousand Sons are more forgiving to their serfs as they are most likely psychic and thus, more likely to share common kinship.

*'''09:15 - Tactical Indoctrination:''' The Thousand Sons congregate and form plans to attract psykers from the Imperium and gather unknown knowledge.

*'''10:00 - Midday Prayers:''' The Thousand Sons gather to pray that Tzeentch won't fuck them over again.

*'''11:00 - Midday Meal:''' A light meal is prepared by the psychic serfs.

*'''12:00 - Sorcery Training:''' The Thousand Sons Sorcerers practice their magic tricks to further harness the warp.

*'''13:00 - Evening Firing and Sorcery Rites:''' The Thousand Sons practice their shooting and magical skills on even more warp beasts.

*'''15:00 - Battle Practice:''' The Thousand Sons continue to train in CQC so they can one day beat the [[Space Wolves|fucking furries.]]

*'''16:00 - Re-Education Time:''' The Thousand Sons lecture captured non-psychic Imperial humans on why their prejudice towards psykers are bad and why they should feel bad before sending them off as laborers. At the same time, they lecture captured psykers on why the Thousand Sons are there to protect and nurture them and why psykers are the next step in human evolution.

*'''18:00 - Evening Meal:''' A feast is prepared by the psychic serfs, which are cooked from the warp beasts that were hunted in the morning and afternoon.

*'''19:00 - Meeting up with Magnus:''' The Thousand Sons meet with their Primarch on issues concerning them such as the proposal to create a republic just to piss off the Imperium, equality between psykers and non-psykers, the state of the Imperium and humanity as a whole, Tzeentch being a dickhead and why he should not be trusted and why knowledge is power.

*'''20:00 - Sending 'Gifts' to the family:''' The Thousand Sons secretly steal some loyalist equipment and secretly give it to the [[Blood Ravens]] out of family kinship - the Blood Ravens have yet to realize the origin of these heretical trade deals. The Thousand Sons also try and send gifts and 'sorry' cards to their only friends, the [[White Scars]], [[Emperor's Children]] and [[Blood Angels]] for supporting them even during the failure of the Nikea Council. Suffice to say the gifts (except those given to the Blood Ravens) are always destroyed by the [[Inquisition]].

*'''21:00 - Nerdin' Out:''' The Thousand Sons nerd out in the great libraries on Sortiarius. Some use their free time to train captured psykers on how to safely use the warp while others continue to berate captured non-psykers on why the Imperium is bad. Some play [[Video game|video games]] and talk about ancient Terran epics such as [[Star Wars]] and [[Star Trek]], coincidentally those who play online video games may accidentally encounter [[Blood Angels|Dante and co. doing the exact same thing.]] Some venture back to their old home of [[Prospero]] to get some lost relics/knowledge.

*'''24:00 - Rest Period:''' The Thousand Sons rest in their sarcophagi.

==Writefaggotry==
* [[Ballad of the Thousand Sons]]
* [[Thousand Son and Guardswoman]]
* [[Confessions of a Wayward Son]]

==See Also==
* [[Codex - Thousand Sons]]
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAtIJBE0m6g Feel free to play this whenever your sorcerers are unleashing enough psychic dakka to put the Imperial Guard to shame.]
* [[Warhammer 40,000/Tactics/Thousand Sons (9E)|Tactics on how to play them.]]

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Ahriman_and_the_Rubiks_Cube.jpg|Even with all of his powers, Tzeentch will never give up, even to Ahriman, the greatest of all riddles.
File:1297640512216.jpg|eh, warp lollipop.
File:1297640558332a.jpg|HUH. OK. RAPTORS. THAT MAKES SENSE...
File:1333070677403.jpg|Where are the Sorcerer Dreadnoughts GW? Then again, due to the state of the sons right now, it may be impossible to make dreadnoughts in the conventional sense.
File:1297640558332.jpg
File:Thousand sons on prospero.jpg|The golden years
File:Firstkeeper.jpg|[[Rule 63|ALL IS BUST]] (this is actually a corrupted sororitas, this is where psyker sisters end up)
File:1kSons_Feel.png
File:Scarab_Occult.jpg| The Dust Terminators
File:Ahriman_Rubrics.jpg
</gallery>

{{Thousand Sons}}
{{Chaos-Official}}

Mimic

2020-07-27T00:24:31Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:748C:B105:AA91:7BA4:

[[File:Mimic.jpg|300px|thumb|right|OH HELLO THERE!!!]]
The '''Mimic''' is a monster invented by [[Dungeons & Dragons]] and which has become famous throughout /tg/ and beyond. In contrast to its close kin, the [[Rust Monster]] and the [[owlbear]], the Mimic is not remembered for being a goofy idea, but for its sheer deadliness, which has seen it readily adapted in /v/ media.

The mimic has its roots in [[Old School Roleplaying]], most specifically the tendency for such games to boil down to a sadistic [[DM]] out for blood vs. a bunch of paranoid players. Something like a [[slime]] with a hard shell instead of a gelatinous membrane, the mimic is an amorphous predator that disguises itself as inanimate objects in order to lure potential meals close, then attack. Most iconically, they take the form of treasure chests, making them one of the most recognizable of [[Gotcha Monster|"gotcha!" monsters]].

To further the paranoia, the mimic has often been portrayed as having more advanced shapeshifting than that; [[Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]] gives them the Greater Mimic (big enough to pretend to be entire rooms) and the Househunter Mimic (big enough to pretend to be ''whole houses''), third edition (and [[Pathfinder]]) include notes that mimics increase in size if advanced in hit die, whilst 4th edition states that in their adult forms, mimics can disguise themselves as human beings and walk amongst them to find prey.

What few except real grognards remember is that, originally, the AD&D mimic came in two forms; the regular mimic, whilst still a hungry predator, was quite intelligent. With a Int rating of 8-10, it was about as smart as your average human being, capable of speech, and more than willing to bargain in exchange for food (and not that fussy; enemy corpses, spare trail rations, they'll eat it). The more iconic modern depiction of the mimic comes from the variety AD&D labeled the Killer Mimic, identical in every way except that it was tougher and far stupider (Int 2-4, so only animal intelligence), meaning it just attacked whatever food it could find.

The connection between Househunter Mimics and the [[Gazebo]] meme remains unclear.

==Mimics as Monstergirls==
[[File:Mimikko.jpg|200px|thumb|right|The kind of Mimic few adventurers would mind running into... {{BLAM|because the alternative is being eaten, not because they are pedophiles}}]]
{{Monstergirls}}
Like many iconic D&D monsters, the Mimic has a Monstergirl version. Same general idea of a shapeshifting creature camouflaging as a treasure chest, except the 'inside' of the box looks like a pretty girl often depicted wearing the traditional Shinto shrine maiden uniform of white blouse and red skirt (due to the phonetic resemblance and obvious tongue-in-cheek of the second syllable of the English word "mimic" and the Japanese term "巫女" (miko) for shrine maiden) out to have some fun with any unwary adventurer she catches.

If the adventurer is lucky, that is. [[/d/|Let us just say that the Mimic is just as often used to sate much darker and disturbing fetishes and leave it at that...]]

[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]][[Category:Monsters]]

Paradox poker

2020-07-26T23:31:29Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:748C:B105:AA91:7BA4: /* Banned Guests */

Every Saturday night, without fail, the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emperor]], [[Tzeentch]], [[Cegorach]] and the [[Mephet'ran|Deceiver]] get together with drinks and [[Meatbread|snacks]] and sit down to enjoy another thrilling game of '''Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth-Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker''', or “paradox poker” for short.

The very epitome of [[trolling]], dickery and [[awesome]] in all its glory, the game is an [[Commander|intense battle of wits to outfuck your opponent's minds until only one remains.]] Since it is impossible for a point of space to maintain its form with so much concentrated [[Just As Planned]] in one spot, they create a new sub-reality to play their game in every week. However, since the reality collapses very quickly, no-one ever truly wins at paradox poker and the intent is more of having a good time with some bros and keeping their minds sharp. Should anyone ever actually win... it is said that men would look good in ponytails, dogs would mate with cats, and Games Workshop would lower their prices shortly before the known universe implodes on itself.

Mortals such as [[Asdrubael Vect]], [[Lady Malys]], [[Ahriman]], and [[Eldrad]] Ulthran keep trying to peek in through the window to catch a glimpse at this sheer awesomeness but the guard [[Chaos Spawn|Spawn]] around Tzeentch's bungalow deter everyone, lest they get nommed. A good thing too, since most mortals can't view this without... well, without imploding at the sight of this godly game.

There is a dumbed-down version of this game for mortals called [[Munchkin (Card Game)|Munchkin]] which involves great levels of dickery between players. Similarly, [[If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device]] also introduces the game as the focal point of an episode or two, where it's revealed to be [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] of all things, as a riff on the [[Skub|''seemingly'' increasingly complex nature]] of the game.

==The Players==

* The Emperor: The straightforward logicfag, the Emperor can plan ahead but prefers plans involving direct action and keeping tightlipped about his overall goals. This means that he may not be open to play with others even if this suits him and he can get blinded to the obvious if he is too focused on the task at hand.

* Tzeentch: The chancing gambler, Tzeentch is the king of dick moves. He is an expert of making plans within plans alongside existing plans and while small victories against him may be gained, he is rarely put into a disadvantaged position. He does play the game though for the sake of playing and can take big risks for seemingly no apparent reason. But then it is all fun to that old bird.

* Cegorach: The wild card, completely unpredictable and likes to play moves just to screw up the games of the others. However he is so obsessed with having fun that he usually kneecaps himself halfway through the second round.

* The Deceiver: The grand illusionist, he's been playing poker with peoples' lives back when the others were just wee nippers. His play style is a long haul gamer, using tricks and traps to lure his enemies in. When asked how he's still here, even after being sharded by the Necrons, he gave the interviewers the answer in riddle form that turned them irredeemably insane after obsessing to solve it.

==Great historic moments in the paradox poker games==

* The Emperor readies a new powerful card, [[Magnus the Red]], for use. Tzeentch reveals what he showed was a weak hand to be fake and he had the Magnus card and the [[Thousand Sons]] cards in his hand all along and what the Emperor had was a dud! The Emperor looks at his rapidly diminishing hand with worry.

*The Emperor sees that Tzeentch is gonna wreck him so he uses Stop Timeline card. Tzeentch uses card Expand Past Timeline. Emperor creates the series known as If The Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device.

* The Emperor pulls the wool from under Tzeentch by toppling the entire [[Horus Heresy]] in one stroke. In turn however Tzeentch declares this means the Emperor must do a dare or a forfeit. The Emperor wusses out and does a forfeit, in which he has to stay seated to a gold toilet for 20,000 years. Much laughter is had at the table and the Emperor goes bright red with embarrassment.

* Cegorach tries to trick the [[C'tan]] into eating each other. The Deceiver, not to be outdone, joins in. Laughing at it all, Tzeentch decides he'll have a go too. Only the Emperor holds back his hand, eyeing the weird brain shaped warp creatures crowding outside the table warily....

* The Deceiver tricks [[Abaddon]] the failure into attacking the [[Battlefleet Gothic|Gothic Sector]], so that the weapons Cegorach seeded there in the past couldn't be used against him in a later turn. Cegorach shakes his head and smiles, all the while stroking two cards he had placed in waiting in his hand.

* The Hive Mind (see below) uses the entirety of it's [[Slivers|Hive Fleet Behemoth]] deck in conjunction with the [[Swarmlord]] card then challenges the Emperor. The Emperor uses all of the 10 Ultramarine Battle Company cards and forfeits the 1st one to stop the Hive Mind.

* For giggles, Tzeentch keeps using the Abaddon and Black Crusade cards in combination, to try and confuse the other three into thinking some great big plan is in operation. While the Deceiver and Cegorach are not fooled the Emperor buys it hook, line and sinker and continues to keep foiling Abaddon's plans, which leaves him in a fluster, Tzeentch soiling himself in amusement and the other two wondering if they are going to keep getting into a loop over this.

* Just for once the Deceiver plans to do something totally unexpected and opens a Necron portal right inside the Emperor's place, causing a full scale Necron invasion of Terra, forcing the Emperor to respond, getting Chaos mixed up and threatening the centre of the Imperium to drown in legions of its enemies. Just before it all comes to pop, GW swoops in and informs everyone that move is no longer considered canon and resets everything, leaving a lot of [[Butthurt|sore asses]] everywhere.

==Banned Guests==
The game gets old a bit fast, so once in a while, the group tries to invite new players into the game to liven things up. Some guests, however, tend to be a bit more disruptive than most.

*[[Creed]] - Unanimously barred from ever participating at a game after hiding a Titan legion behind everyone's hand.
*[[Trazyn the Infinite]] - Also unanimously banned after trying to loot everyone else using a Tesseract Labyrinth.
*[[Sly Marbo]] - Unanimously banned (not that they could stop him if he decided to show up). In his first (and only) game Tzeentch went first and played the GW Retcon card, removing Marbo from the lastest <s> Astra Miltrium </s> {{BLAM}} Imperial Guard codex. This made Marbo flip the table and declare himself the winner. Everyone was too scared to deny him his victory thus making it the only game of Paradox Poker ever to be won by someone. Marbo hasn't bothered turning up again as he didn't think it was a challenge.
*DoomGuy - Less banned, And more voluntarily bowed out. Due to the fact that having him play was the equivalent of having the emperor in stereo. Not to mention it cut the emperor’s set up phase in half. (which deck he uses depends on the day but most of them have a certain theme to them). He’s welcome to come back at anytime, as long as he does not bring emperor’s complement.

==Common Guests==

Some guests show up more frequently than others to add to the game but for whatever reason, aren't quite capable of becoming fully fledged players.

* The other Chaos Gods: Not frequent invitees, all for roughly the same reasons: They're all [[That guy]], if different versions of him. Slaanesh is a disturbing [[Magical Realm]]-dweller; Nurgle takes up the "No-personal-hygiene Man"<ref>The worst Mega Man Boss ''ever''</ref> archetype, while [[Khorne]] is prone to temper tantrums and usually spills his drink all over the table<ref>And do you have ''any idea'' how hard it is to clean up Blood-and-Coke stains?</ref>.
*The [[Hive Mind]] - While certainly smart and canny when it wants to be, the Hive Mind's voice of a thousand mental patients gargling a million nails in motor oil and weird syntax gets on the other player's nerves in short order, resulting in it mostly being a guest player. When it does show up, the Hive Mind likes to go for quantity over quality plays, a large number of winning hands that don't get too much of a lead but don't cost it much when it loses are preferable to big all-or-nothing plays but occasionally mixes things up with displays of shocking intellect; often paired with the Swarmlord card. However when conversed with the only message that comes up is I can haz galaxy.
*[[Mork]] and [[Gork]] - Though usually busy with fighting each other. “Da boyz” are always fun to play with even if they do have a rather crude sense of humor befitting the gods of Orkiness. Gork prefers to lay low for a bit or fool his opponents into underestimating him, waiting for a bit before people have written him off and then smacking his enemy in the face with a crushingly good hand. Mork on the other hand prefers making it look like he’s going all out in the beginning while actually having an entirely different back up plan in reserve. Needless to say they are not to be underestimated. It can be hard to tell who is playing at times. But Tzeentch always knows and loves their company.
*[[Cypher]] - Constantly tries to rig the game whenever he shows up, by seeing the cards everyone else plays then travelling to an earlier timeline and trying to counter them. This causes Tzeentch to rage, despite the fact that the gods all have better cards in their hands than Cypher. The Deciever combos with Cypher to pull some impossible shit that gets everyone else scratching their heads. Some people think he's rigging the game in the Emperor's favour, others think he keeps trying to position himself next to Big Emps to poke him with a sword. No one is entirely certain though, nor do they know how his head hasn't exploded despite his mortality.
*The [[Primarchs]] - All of the Primarchs, at one point or another, have had a go at their old man's hobby. [[Horus Heresy|It usually ends badly for everyone involved]], especially when [[Alpharius]] was invited and defeated, only for it to turn out that it was just a random member of the [[Alpha Legion]], while everyone else was actually Alpharius in disguise, leaving the real players locked outside Tzeentch's bungalow, bewildered and confused. [[Magnus The Red|Magnus]] in particular, has a surprising penchant for the game on par with both of his adoptive fathers. Though apparently [[Lorgar Aurelian|Lorgar]], [[Corvus Corax|Edgar Allen Primarch]], and even [[Leman Russ|wolfman]] are all talented in their own ways. (That last one causes Magnus a great deal of discomfort.)
*The [[Horned Rat]] - While technically coming from another universe, the Horned Rat often finds himself invited for games. When the Horned Rat loses rounds it's because the cards he plays have a nasty habit of stabbing each other in the back, but he finds ways to put himself out on top in the end and isn't afraid of making temporary truces with other players to get what he wants. He earned his status of major chaos godhood thanks to some tricksy hands and clever bets made during a game, earning quite a lot of grumbling from Tzeentch who regards the vermin god as a dirty upstart.
*[[Nagash]] - Not invited all too often because he still needs to get his "just as planned" game up, Nagash is nevertheless a very patient player who isn't afraid of spending assets in huge amounts. His primary weakness is that he often lets himself be suckered into ego plays that prey on his tendency to get pretty mad when things don't go his way. But if he can keep his cool, he can flip seemingly valueless assets into much better cards, like when he took the wastrel Arkhan and made him into one of the greatest human sorcerers to ever live. He also has a habit of seemingly losing a round only to end up ahead of where he was anyway and never seeming to be more than temporarily set back by defeats, managing to play his cards right and win the true godhood deck even during the [[The End Times|End Times Tournament]].
*[[Lord Kroak]] - Collectively representing the Slann is Lord Kroak, who in fact died so he could spend more time playing the fantasy version of the game. When the old world went kaputt and he ascended to godhood he started getting invitations to Tzeentch's bungalow as well, though he's often busy with the plans within plans the Slann are working on. Lord Kroak tends to rely more on divination and having the right card at the right time and place over luck to win rounds, and very often seeming defeats turn out to have been the plan the whole time.
*[[Sigmar]] - Much like the Emperor, Sigmar's plans tend to be more straightforward, though he's rather more open than the Emperor with them and is more willing to use cards that aren't from the human race deck. He's also more willing to make truces with other players when it suits him. Overall he's not invited to every game because the other players basically feel that he plays the game a bit too similarly to the Emperor, just a bit kinder and more willing to cut deals.

== Former Players ==

*[[Asuryan]] - His Fantasy counterpart used to be a semi-regular guest player before the End Times card was played and got him killed as a result, which part of Tzeentch hoped wouldn't happen as he was pretty decent with his orderly and logical planning to contrast Cegorach's wild card antics. But another part of Tzeentch thought that Asuryan was one knife-eared git with plans within plans too many and got with the other regulars and managed to piss off Fantasy Khaine into doing his whole thing, and thus eliminated Asuryan entirely for the time being, leaving all four cackling in the process.
*[[Lileath]] - While her 40K counterpart is still stuck in Slaanesh's gut, her Fantasy counterpart managed to get into the game through virtue of her incredibly dickish manipulations of everyone fighting for order, especially her own species and the Bretonnians. Her plays tend to be callous and highly emotionally manipulative. Eventually got outgambited and seemingly died, removing her from the game more or less until she's discovered in the new universe at some point.

== Foreign Company Players ==
Noncanon, but still show up, usually uninvited.

* Sir Humphrey Appleby - Never actually directly plays, but tries to pretend to be one or another player's employee, and tries to steer the game from that position. Since the players are more clever and observant than British MPs, this usually doesn't work, but his ploys are usually entertaining and useful enough that he's not actually banned.
* [[Batman]] - Some of the more [[Mary Sue]] versions of Batman sometimes show up in disguise, usually looking more for information on a case than to actually play.
* [[Exalted | Ebon Dragon]] - Usually winds up screwing himself over, in the process of screwing everybody else. Theoretically banned, but he somehow keeps on backstabbing.
* [[Star Wars | Papa Palpatine]] - Mainly notable for being really hard to get rid of. The man is hardier then a Nurglite cockroach infestation. He is a surprisingly conservative player whose main weakness ''seems to be'' a great love of hearing himself talk. Be careful, though, as his double- and triple-bluffs are what keep him in the game.
* Thanos - Tolerated mainly because he's a sucker whose plays are fascinating and entertaining in their ultimately self-defeating nature. Constantly tries to get some incredibly broken card into play; almost always fails.
* David Xanatos - Usually plays penny-ante compared to the other players, but is used to being a minor player among the Big Boys; is tolerated mainly because each of the main players considers him one of theirs, although he winds up working with the Emperor and Tzeentch more than with the others.
* [[Urza]]

== See also ==
*[[Citadel Combat Cards]]

==Footnotes==

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]

Tzeentch

2020-07-26T23:16:45Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:748C:B105:AA91:7BA4: /* Facts */

[[File:934501-tzeentch mark.png|center]]
[[File:Tzeentch the Architect of Fate.jpg|500px|thumb|right|Tzeentch thinking to himself: [[Troll|"Hmmm... I wonder what plans I would foil again?"]]]]
{{awesome}}
{{heresy}}
<span style='color:blue;font-size:100%'>''JUST AS PLANNED... ALWAYS AS PLANNED... NEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHHE... LOL''!<br>- <small>The Word of Tzeentch on just about any Misfortune you encounter</small></span>

<span style='color:blue;font-size:100%'>''AN INTERESTING QUESTION, ASSHOLE!''<br>- <small>Tzeentch responding to the question "What are rules really though?" from [[If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device]]</small></span> [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iVW3HaeVImQ]

{{Topquote|O Fortune, like the moon you are changeable, ever waxing and waning. Hateful life, first oppresses, and then soothes as fancy takes it; poverty, and power it melts them like ice. Fate - monstrous and empty, you whirling wheel, you are malevolent, well-being is in vain and always fades to nothing, ...|Oh Fortuna, from the Carmina Burana}}

{{Topquote|Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.|Frank Zappa}}

{{Topquote|I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people.|Sir Isaac Newton}}

{{Topquote|Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.|Albert Einstein.}}

==Introduction==
[[Image:Tzeench_political_poster.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Tzeentch has a fetish for birds; featherporn ahoy! <s>Oddly, this is one of the rare few visibly female Lords of Change, probably because birds don't usually have tits</s> It's not a Lord of Change, it's a sorceress getting her bird mutations on in a proper Tzeentchian fashion. Also Slaanesh sued his ass over this. It IS her/his/whatever the fuck's schtick.]]
'''Tzeentch''', (pronounced Zeench) also known as '''the Great Conspirator, the Changer of the Ways, the Architect of Fate, Tchar, Chen the Deceiver, Tsien-Tsin, [[H.P. Lovecraft|Nyarlathotep]], the Troll Master, Cheenzh, the Raven God, the Trickster, the Archmage God, the Lord of Nerds, [[/b/]], Emperor Lollercoaster, [[/pol/|International Jewry]], [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|The Indecisive Mollusk]], Master of Madness, Dr. Wizard, Space Obama, the Lord of Social Media, The Monarch of Apple Updates, Terror of Tumblr or Pinterest, Q(Star Trek), The Great Lovecraftian Geek, Joseph Joestar(who is basically Tzeentch as a trolling shonen anime protagonist), Loki, The Cuttlefish of Keikaku, and 9933 other names''' (including the occasional first name of Sseth) is or is not the [[Chaos God]] of change, curiosity, hard-to-spell names, lies, cunning, Ambition, opportunity, creativity and inventiveness, mutation and evolutionary processes, [[Entropy|'Pure Chaos']], Machiavelli, CEOs, politics, governmental power, manipulation, trolling, the internet, possibly all recorded information, Leadership, social media, any smartphone platform like apple, Supervillain Geniuses, progress, knowledge, magic(and if you wanna spin it [[Psykers|psykers]]), Chess, Lawyers, (despite being the closest Chaos God who matches the profile of a High-Functioning Psychopath) Hope (despite there being [[God-Emperor of Mankind|a contender for God of Hope]]), constant article editing, and massively overlong lists.

In [[Warhammer Fantasy]] he may or may not have already existed before the world like the other Chaos Gods, and the [[Old Ones]] actively tried to prevent [[Daemons]] from ever successfully invading the world by creating the different races of the game in an attempt to find something that could cheese Daemons in every battle until the very Warp Gates that the Old Ones used to come to the planet in the first place collapsed forming miniature [[Eye of Terror|Eyes of Terror]] at the poles of the world (''Just as planned''). He is said to have a fetish for [[Blood Ravens|Ravens]] amongst the [[Warriors of Chaos|Norse]] tribes and Condors amongst [[Warriors of Chaos|Kurgan nomads]]. There's no real picture for Tzeentch since the weird bastard always and never but always changes his appearance every time he sits for his yearbook photo. Some of the more or less memorable appearances have been: an opaline serpent constantly slithering in-place; a no-neck blue greater daemon with a skin pocked with faces that each repeat what the main head just said with different emphasis or tone; a rainbow-hued cloud of mist that speaks by casting echoes off nearby structures without making the original sound; a featureless green-skinned human in an archaic grey suit with the words "NO PICTURE AVAILABLE" suspended in the air where his face would be; and perhaps the most or least prominent, a giant imp with two penises growing out of its head. No, srsly. Unless..he could be Slaane-..*URGLBURGL*

Strangely, Tzeentch was often/rarely/usually attributed to hope in the two settings, despite there being Chaos Gods of Order in Fantasy, and in 40k the [[God-Emperor of Mankind]] serving as The God of Hope in his career even if he never wanted to be worshiped as such. To be fair, there is a difference between hope and order (or is there?). The Chaos Gods embody traits that can be directed for good or evil (how can hope be evil? To invoke Godwin's Law, Hitler hoping his genocide plans would succeed was evil, or as in Pandora's Box where hope prolongs suffering). It is entirely possible or not that what Games Workshop incorrectly called Hope is more or less but more accurately called selfish Ambition, the sort that would drive people to commit Machiavellian backstabbing, because in the grim darkness of the 41st millennium [[God-Emperor of Mankind|actual selfless Hope]] is pretty much [[Nurgle|a rotting corpse]].

He is or isn't typically the second strongest of the Chaos Gods, however he has advantage over Khorne when it comes to IQ, manipulation and leadership. In canon Chaos God vs Chaos God stories he has the largest number of victories and fewest number of defeats. He rarely does things directly and prefers to trick one of the Chaos Gods or their servants into fighting with one another (to the point that one can assume anytime a Chaos God goes to war with another one, he's probably behind it). He got Skarbrand, the then mightiest Bloodthirster, to attack his master. Skarbrand hit with all his strength but only put a chink in Khorne's armor and Khorne got unbelievably, incomprehensibly, all-consumingly pissed and grabbed Skarbrand and threw him so hard that he went sailing in the sky for days before finally crashing into the ground so hard that his wings broke. and whenever Tzeentch gets caught into these antics (most especially by an enraged Khorne) he could simply recite the rules (Yes, Chaos have strange rules) and testify to the circumstances proving that he wasn't responsible. If everyone including the Emperor and the Chaos Gods want to find him guilty for cheating then he will just twist it back to them because he wasn't violating the rules set by the highest authorities in the tabletop: the [[Mod]]s. in other words, Tzeentch is a Cosmic Attorney.

Except that millions of his followers will likely be slaughtered and his faith likely has a new enemy... but Tzeentch, like every Chaos God, is beyond our petty definition of victory and defeat. Which makes the above paragraph idiotically inaccurate, like most of our concepts of reality when the Warp gets involved.
[[File:Tzeentch Old.jpg|thumb|right|400px|The first depiction of Tzeentch in Warhammer art.]]
Once Tzeentch was the strongest of all the Chaos Gods and basically made the Warp his bitch. In 40k this was actually tied to a real world time period now known as a Dark Age of Technology - the golden age of prosperity, '''hope''', '''ambition''', and '''progress''', when Humanity and Eldar, who dominated the Galaxy defeated the diseases and poverty with their sophisticated science and sorcery and waged their wars through emotionless constructs and robots - no wonder Tzeentch was supercharged by these events and the other two gods were at their lowest of the lows. Unfortunately for him, he uncharacteristically didn't plan on the other two Chaos gods agreeing to team up against him and was shattered into countless fragments (it was his crystal staff in the old lore). [[Khaine|Unlike a certain other god]], he was able to put himself back together again, but he's still missing several pieces of himself. In Fantasy those pieces went on to become the first magic, and in 40k they caused a massive burst of powerful psykers being born, which combined with a robot rebellion humans experienced and pleasure cults Eldar went into brought the downfall of both civilizations, effectively ending their golden ages. Although, given the nature of gods, it's possible that the cause-consequence chain was the other way around with a war in the Warp being the representation of two great prosperous empires falling from their grace. [[The Blue Scribes]] are tasked with recollecting these fragments. Tzeentch also claims the Realm of Chamon in the [[Age of Sigmar]]. The [[Slann]] managed to create the Halosphere as a passageway to Tzeentch's lair.

If Tzeentch had a voice actor... Tzeentch would need different ones all the time (or would he?). A good candidate is Aidan “[[A Song of Ice and Fire|Petyr Baelish]]” Gillan, who helpfully can't keep his accent straight for longer than a scene at a time.

==Elf/Eldar Gods==
In 40k, he was ''seemingly'' the only Chaos God who didn't try to intervene when Slaanesh went on his/her/its "just-born" raping and killing spree as far as we know. But Tzeentch seldom works directly, so there's no way to tell for sure.

In Warhammer Fantasy, [[Asuryan]] is something of the Road Runner to his Wile E. Coyote. While Tzeentch's flawless and infinitely intricate plans of dickery seem to culminate with the Warp enveloping the world, something always goes wrong at the last minute and usually the High Elves or an ally of the High Elves are at the center of it. That's because Asuryan also has a plan, one he actually shares with mortal [[High Elves]] who take a vow of silence and become his monks. Asuryan's plan is NOT flawless however, and culminates in one giant last battle with a 50% chance of success or fail on his behalf between "good" (Order) and "evil" (Destruction). The outcome of that battle will decide if the Chaos Gods win or lose once and for all. Apparently, dragons will go extinct either way though. It turns out that his plan [[The End Times|didn't work out]].
Tzeentch also has direct relations with [[Morai-Heg]] who is a goddess of prophesy who can actively change fate at her will. Morai-Heg is a True Neutral kind of being who fucks with everyone's plans in ways that end up with them indebted to her one way or another. Usually because she manipulates things in a way to force you to come to her to undo the change she already made (you don't know she did this in the first place) and make a third result, which someone else probably asked for due to a change someone else made and...well, let's just summarize it as "''Everyone's plans are all going according to plan''".

==[[Just as planned]]...==
Tzeentch will always be '''at least''' three steps ahead of you; he out-dicks [[Eldrad]], [[Cegorach|The Laughing God]], both [[Sigmar|God]] [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emprahs]] (though just barely in regard to the second one...a fact he likes), and the [[C'tan|Deceiver]] hands down. Just an example: He tricked [[Slaanesh]] into provoking [[Khorne]], a fight she promptly lost. Why did he do it? He did it for fun...and as a favor for a friend.

Just [[The Game (Tzeentch)|don’t mention]] [[Creed]] around him...or Kitten.

In Warhammer Fantasy, he's notable for never really doing much of anything really (except trapping [[Sigmar]] for years in the Wind of Heaven until Vortex on [[Ulthuan]] is destroyed and the Wind, under Sigmar's direction, enters the body of Emperor [[Karl Franz]] after his death.) His champions either have magical powers or limited ability to see and manipulate the future. Some just follow more charismatic champions of other Chaos Gods into battle, although when that champion inevitably falls Tzeentch's almost always survive to mutate another day. The setting's China equivalent, [[Cathay]], has wizards actively stealing Tzeentch's magic and using its effects to affect the world with greater power than normal magic can. They do this entirely without worshiping him or suffering Chaos mutations or taint (according to the fluff, they do worship Tzeentch, they just know him by another name and don't know his true nature... this is most likely a reference to Daoism and ''Yi Jing'', the Book of Change). Clearly Tzeentch mostly just focuses on 40k while the other three Chaos Gods play two tables at once (or maybe Tzeentch is lulling the Cathayans into a false sense of security...).

The funny thing is, Tzeentch's plots will never come to true fruition. They just go on and on, forever and ever, twisted and tangled for the sheer joy of it with no end goal or even a purpose behind them. Tzeentch is a god of ''chaos'', and a plan satisfied, tied up, finished, is a plan that has left his purview. There is no victory, no defeat, no end. Ends are stagnation, [[Nurgle|the opposite of all he represents]]. [[Games Workshop|There will only be the endless clatter of dice in]] [[Warhammer 40K|the mad, cruel games the gods play with the fates and souls of men]]. Rolled without end, amen. In this sense, Tzeentch truly is the Chaos God of hope because he will never allow Chaos to defeat the mortal plane if he can- at least, not if it doesn't lead to further changes. While most everyone else plays to win, Tzeentch plays for fun, for as long as he can. In older fluff, Tzeentch was also the Chaos God of magic and intellect, so if anyone wanted Tzeentch to win, they just had to make a clever plan that would further Tzeentch's goals and pull it off, increase the amount of magic in the world or become a wizard (so technically everytime a [[Storm of Magic|Storm of Magic]] happens would be a victory for Tzeentch), [[Matt Ward|though GW has downplayed that aspect of him]], or maybe he's just trying to appear more menacing, who knows.

Possibly the god of "I meant to do that", "I was just pretending to be retarded," and "we can still make this work...".

==Followers==
Tzeentch's followers tend to be Librarians/wizards, Sorcerers, nerds, psykers/magical beings, unstable mutants, and red-nosed misfits, but instead of [[Nurgle]]'s "I love you just for who you are," Tzeentch encourages his followers to [[/tg/|revel in what makes them dweeb outcasts]] and go even further, constantly finding new ways to push limits and try things out just because they can. It's not enough that you've made this former Guardsman loyal, harder and better, faster and stronger, you could also fit another three arms on the guy, and if you added a head on his pelvis he would never be surprised, and he can't talk anymore so why not replace his larynx with a flamer sac? [[Chaos Spawn|Whereas other Chaos Gods accidentally pour too much love into their subjects]] (Slaanesh quite literally), Tzeentch does it on purpose because he actually knows what he's doing when he does so.

* Tzeentch Daemons are:
** '''Pink Horrors''': Ever-shifting gleeful balls of psychic rape. Really powerful ones are Heralds of Tzeentch. Courtesy of sixth edition 40k, these guys are now brotherhood of sorcerers, and a blob of 16 or more horrors can cast 3 spells per turn, and since they're daemons of Tzeentch they test on Ld10. Unfortunately, all the powers they have are '''FUN*'''. 8th edition Fantasy sees them as a blob of level 1 wizards who can't miscast, which are fun due to the randomness of them but aren't really competitive. The best-known of these is a being called the Changeling, who has the ability to transform into any being it wants, usually for the purposes of wreaking havoc behind enemy lines (although it has also been known to do so for pulling pranks as well, like planting Nurglings on the Skull Throne just as Khorne is about to sit down or cutting Slaanesh's hair while he/she/it sleeps). Apparently it's changed its form so many times it doesn't even remember what it originally used to look like.
** '''Blue Horrors''': When you kill a pink horror, it splits into 2 tiny, manic-depressive blue horrors. In 40k it just means your pink horrors hit back at S2 every time you kill one in close combat, which is kind of useless. Why are your horrors in close combat anyway? The Fantasy version of them are summonables that enter onto the field when the magic lore of Tzeentch sees a spell casted very well (since your Pink Horrors cannot miscast, throwing a fuckload of dice into a spell to produce more Blue Horrors is nifty). They're pretty weak though anyway, which is what keeps full Tzeentch armies from really being viable. A particularly notable pair of Blue Horrors are P'tarix and Xirat'p, also known as [[The_Blue_Scribes | Blue Scribes]]. Tzeentch sent them out to catalog every single magic spell in reality, knowing that they weren't smart enough to know how easily abused the power of said spells might be. Finally fixed in Age of Sigmar as they're now just weaker pink horrors that you place two when a pink horror dies.
*** '''Brimstone Horrors''': Also known as Yellow Horrors. Recently added in Age of Sigmar and 40k, oddly never mention until now since three is a running theme for Tzeentch. When a Blue Horror dies they turn into a pair of angry little fire daemons.
** '''Flamers''': like Horrors but less limb-y and way more mouths to breathe fire with. Also, this fire is S4 AP4. If you inflict wounds on a unit they have to take a toughness test, and if they fail they suffer D3 wounds with no saves allowed. On the other hand, if they pass the toughness test [[FAIL|they get feel no pain (6+) which can stack if they keep passing.]]. They're the main Daemon ranged option in Warhammer Fantasy, although they're pretty close range. Best used to shotgun an enemy right in the flank while it's engaged with something from one of the other Chaos Gods in melee. ''Just as planned'', right there in the crunch.
** '''Screamers of Tzeentch''': the Tzeentchian notion of cavalry; levitating manta rays with buzzsaw fins. Also melta-teeth for some reason. In Fantasy they function as chaff by harassing units and weakening them (with great luck killing something important like a mage) or [[DISTRACTION_CARNIFEX |forcing them to devote a turn killing them and thus leaving that unit open to whatever other Daemons you brought]].
***'''Jet Screamers''': screamers that are really fast, Gold colored, and capable of shooting magic missles, and can teleport limited distances...so basically space cliffracers, (though the don't make any annoying sounds, every 5 seconds). very rarely seen, (tzeentch reserves them from combating other chaos gods), and those who see them even more rarely come out intact.
** '''Burning Chariots of Tzeentch''': One-man vehicles for heralds of Tzeentch or Exalted Flamers, which are like flamers but... exalted. In 40k this is where the AP2 Tzeentch Flame attack went after Flamers got a buff (but it's assault D3, for optimal '''FUN*''', and it also has a S5 AP3 torrent attack. These both follow the same warpflame rules as flamers do, but they also won't be leaving so many survivors so it's not as big a deal. Fantasy sees them as the surprise buttsecks machine, once again tearing through an enemy that's engaged with something else. Like Tzeentch's architectural styles though it's a glass cannon that WILL break if damn near anything short of an anemic [[Bretonnia|Bretonnian]] peasant orphan with a cold attacks it.
** '''[[Lord of Change|Lords of Change]]''': huge birdlike sorcerers that look like a [[Furry|werewolf's in-between state, only it's a werevulture-snake-velociraptor...thing]] (So, a Skeksis from Dark Crystal?). They have the power to predict the future at any given time so they're almost invincible, unless Tzeentch wants them to die, which going by all the times Tzeentchian Chaos Daemon and Thousand Sons armies lose, happens surprisingly often. They're the best non-named spellcaster available to Daemons in Fantasy. Chief among their number is Tzeentch's right-hand daemon Kairos Fateweaver, who was gifted the ability to know everything that will ever happen (along with a second head). It's said that he knows the answers to all questions, but if you ask him, [[Troll|both heads give contradicting answers, with no way of knowing which head is telling the truth]], just [http://www.wobblymodelsyndrome.com/comic-80.html Don't ask him his name]. (Then again, there's nothing saying it's the same one lying every time.)
* Tzeentch's Chaos Marines come with an [[Thousand Sons|Egyptian motif]], and plenty of psykers and Sorcerers. Aside from that Tzeentchian marines are usually warband leaders, their advisors or prominent ambitious champions wishing to become one. Many of them hold their dedication to the Architect in secret, if only to keep their advantage of god's favor over other marines - ambition after all is the big deal for them. Fully Tzeentchian warbands do exist, but they are usually comprised of either complete madman who hear voices, see futures, hear all the lies in the world (simultaneously), can shape-shift or mutate at will or have some other mind-blowing (sometimes literally) "gifts" from the Architect, or body-less drones commanded by extremely powerfull mages, and a few elite commandos armed with psychicly reloading flame bolters (he values quality over quantity). It helps that Tzeentch is likely based on the Ancient Egyptian god Thoth. (also known as Jehuty who has been called a death god by some...)
* Tzeentch's [[Warriors of Chaos|viking followers]] are usually the outcasts and elders of the tribes of the Norsemen rather than being a united group. They like to rock the "evil wizard" look with hooded cloaks and sacrificial daggers to compliment their tentacles and 3 faces on one head.
* He is also worshipped by the [[Cathay]] as their state religion.
*In AoS, his mortal worshippers are the [[Tzeentch Arcanite]]s. They hide in the cities of Sigmar and Order, slowly amassing power and influence, before rising up in a spectacular display of both Just as Planned and fiery mutated goodness.

==Facts==
*Sly Marbo is the only person that Tzeench cannot control. That and Creed, that sneaky fucker, who is currently holding a gun to my {{BLAM}}.

* The name Tzeentch was originally going to be "Thence" of Change (which is a six letter anagram of Tzeentch) the TZ was latter added and the name reworked at the suggestion of [[John Blanche]] returning from holiday in Tanzania, where he saw a blue feathered bird performing tricks at the request of a tribal priest named Tuz Tuz.

* Tzeentch is likely inspired by the Ancient Egyptian god Thoth. Thoth was the bird-headed god of writing, science and magic; remember what Tzeentch's Greater Daemons look like.

* Tzeentch explained Chaos to a group of mathematicians. The ones who didn't go insane or start worshipping him came up with Chaos Theory.

* Tzeentch's favorite author changes from time to time. Some of his recurring favorites are Niccolo Machiavelli, Charles Darwin and Michael Crichton.

* A little-known fact: Tzeentch is anon.

* Tzeentch was responsible for the Great Depression and the 2008 financial crisis. Also, the First Gulf War? That was him too.

* Tzeentch does it for the lulz.

* Tzeentch is surprizingly good friends with Doomguy, due to the fact that doomguy thinks most of his plans are hilarious, and he follows him...also for the lulz. (he got bored of "cleaning out" the citadel of brass every day and wanted a change).

* You know when your first puppy died? <s>Tzeentch did that too</s> it might have been slannesh.

* Tzeentch (much like [[Sly Marbo]]) knows and sees everything; thusly, he sees you masturbate and knows what fantasies you're having. And he laughs at you (again, much like [[Sly Marbo]]).
** Slannesh used to pay him “good money,” to tell you what you masturbate to, but an "agreement" with khorne made him stop accepting bribes. (he only took it because DoomGuy told him it would further Their plans).
* Khorne is Tzeentch's favorite victim for hijinks because of an incident involving DoomGuy’s friend Valen’s son being turned into a meat puppet for his and the C'tan's [[Doom|earth invasion plan]]. the fact that Khorne is very easy to string along is a good bonus.

* Slaanesh is Tzeentch's second favorite victim for his hijinks, because Slaanesh's desire for a new high makes him/her/it very easy to string along, and also because it makes khorne laugh.

* Starscream is a servant of Tzeentch; he's got a huge amount of ambition. Too bad that Tzeentch won't let him succeed until he actually forms a plan instead of just saying "I am the new leader!" if Megatron so much as sneezes.

* Tzeentch is the god of hope among other things, yet he's a lot less friendly than the god of despair. Probably because most every being in the universe has had their fair share of despair and has learned to cope with it, while hope tends to show up just before you get ground into the dirt again. When the Despair-god comes knocking, you open a bottle and sigh, when the hope god shows up, you immediately wonder how you're going to get raped this time.

* Tzeentch has only ever truly lost to two beings: Creed and a [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|little kitten wearing a silver banana armour]].

* Tzeentch is a very morky god due to the fact he could set in motion a string of events that could lead to a lasgun in the back of the head when you aren't looking.

* Tzeentch is the <s>only</s> First contestant to ever be banned from entering Deal or No Deal after winning $1,000,000 9 times in a row.

* During their early days, Tzeentch once put on a magic show for the 3 other Chaos gods. Among the 3, Khorne asked Tzeentch how he made Nurgle's Plaguefather disappear and reappear beside Slaanesh before their very eyes, which Tzeentch refused to tell and responded with "A good magician never reveals his tricks.", which caused Khorne to burn with unfathomable rage. <s>To this day</s> for over 50,000 years, Khorne had extremely low tolerance for magic users and psykers, which became evident when the [[World Eaters]] killed all their Psykers when they defected to Chaos. Like always, Tzeentch just said "Just as planned".
**Khorne has accutally relaxed this tendency after watching one of Tzeentch's chosen warriors [[awesome|light his sword on fire with his psychic powers]]. the fact that said warrior was DoomGuy may have helped a bit...he still hates Zaraphiston though.

* Tzeentch is slightly pissed over the fact how his only representation in DoW are the Pink Horror daemons and the Chaos Sorcerer, unlike Khorne who gets Berzerkers, Chaos Marines chant "Skulls for the Skull Throne!" on attack and how he got an epic unit, the "Bloodthirster" and the fact that he has two Chaos Lords dedicated to him and the fact that his legion shows up in Winter Assault as one of the primary opponents, Khorne then goes on to get Bloodletters, Bloodcrushers, The Chaos Lord, who is the best damn commander in the game (though the Warboss has funnier dialogue) in DoW II, while in contrast, he's stuck with the sorcerer and his marines aren't even Rubrics. Still, better than Slaanesh, who only ever got the Emperor's Children default color scheme throughout the entire series. But now Slaanesh is getting Noise Marines in Retribution, which are sorta like SM Plasma Cannon Devastators. All Tzeentch gets are marks for certain units, which turns everyone of them into tank/infantry raping death machines, especially the generic marines.

* However, in DOWII, Tzeentch is still reveling in the fact how he got [[Scott McNeil]] to voice the generic Chaos sorcerers again. '''HOWEVER!!!''', the Sorcerer's voice then became more soft, monotonous and unenthusiastic, which '''GREATLY''' angered Tzeentch.

* Tzeentch appears to be GW's least favorite of the Chaos Gods, his units tend to be the worst out of the four chaos gods, his stuff gets the least amount of attention, and the least amount of fluff written for him. Hell, there's often cases where despite magic/psykic powers being his specialty, Nurgle and/or Slaanesh give a better selection than he does. (Except for Age of Sigmar, where he's really good.) Arguably not true since 8th given how often Arhiman is used in Chaos armies and Magnus being the best of the Primarchs currently out.

* Some people play chess with reality and manipulate events and people like chess pieces, others play pool/billiards with it, moving things along like a cue ball and cue stick, others play poker with the universe, bluffing and cajoling things to receive favorable outcomes, other play roulette with the cosmos, making all the little movements needed for that lucky roll. But Tzeentch, Tzeentch does it all at once in the nightmarish game of [[Paradox poker|Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker]], or PBVRFDHCSP a game that only a true master of dickery and the ability to perceive the past, future, and present can really play without looking like a massive tool.

* Every Saturday night, Tzeentch gets together with the [[C'tan|the Deceiver]], [[Cegorach]], and the [[Emperor]] for a rousing game of [[Paradox Poker|Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker]]. The sheer amount of dickery and [[JUST AS PLANNED]] that goes on during these games is so vast that if you were to watch one of these games, your head would 'asplode into a shower of [[Necrons]], [[Daemon|Daemons]], [[Eldar]], and [[Space Marine|SPESS MEHREENS!]]. Even Khorne is afraid to watch one of these games for fear of his head's un...asplodedness... Nobody ever wins though, (mainly because the Emperor take too long on his turns). Creed was banned from these tournaments after infiltrating queens into the games and somehow rigging the roulette tables beforehand one too many times.

* Tzeentch's favorite characters in Mortal Kombat are Quan Chi, Shinnok and Shang Tsung. Though Tzeentch favors Quan Chi more than the other two due to him being (arguably) the most manipulative bastard in all of Mortal Kombat. Hell, he is mostly responsible for almost all the events that happened. In fact, Quan Chi is considered the most untrustworthy character in all of Mortal Kombat considering that he has chronic backstabbing disorder, constantly lies and never fulfills his promises.

* Tzeentch's favorite Black Library novel is "A Thousand Sons". This is mostly because he relishes over the fact that he is such a magnificent bastard for all the things he did in said novel.

* Tzeentch created [[C.S. Goto|C.S. Multilazor]] to specifically troll Khorne's fluff.

* Tzeentch has planned everything you do, even this. Who knows what this article is distracting you from? Tzeentch does because he's why you're here. Woah! Where do you think you're going? You're leaving, eh? 'Just as planned'...

* Tzeentch didn't write this article. But he set in motion [[Just As Planned|every single event]] that contributed to it. Yes. Even this specific author's decision to write this paragraph.

* And this.

* The one place Tzeentch is afraid to go is the Well of Eternity; he believes that it is the beginning and end of the universe. He was wrong, it is where Sly Marbo lives. To find out what was in there, he sent in expeditions of Lords of Change and Horrors but they never came back out. Finally he just grabbed Kairos Fateweaver, his vizier, and threw him in. Due to lots and lots of [[Just as planned]] Fateweaver survived but was horribly disfigured. Marbo slapped himself for letting that one get away and forced himself to keep doing pushups until a planet the size of Jupiter was split in half as self discipline.

* The [[Warcraft]] and Starcraft franchises' existence are both Tzeentch's doing, he is the one that caused GW to turn down Blizzard's initial offer to make an RTS game. When Fateweaver was interrogated about why Tzeentch did that, the lying head dodged the question and the truth telling one said that there was no reason. Or did it.....

* Created Facebook....regretted it instantly but managed to troll the whole planet by making them buy Oculus Rift, no real logic just to fuck up Oculus's release schedule - It worked just as Planned!

* Contrary to what many would assume, Tzeentch is terrible at RTS games because he can never focus on one goal for a long enough period of time to focus on winning, or least that's the reason he claims why he lost at Supreme Commander to an illiterate [[Ork]] that did nothing but hit random keys the entire game.

* Tzeentch claims that [[Snowflame]] was his doing, arguing who else could be insane enough to create such a character. Slaanesh claims that Tzeentch is lying and that Snowflame is his/her/its doing, but Tzeentch points out that Slaanesh is also a liar, meaning that nobody knows who is lying.

* Tzeentch's realm is guarded by a labyrinth that can only be passed by the mad. It was only defeated once, by a little girl with a small black dog, and even Tzeentch doesn't know how because the guardians refuse to discuss it. This is canon.

* Tzeentch invented Scrappy Doo because he was bored.

* Tzeentch was the first being to create the Death Note. Possibly the one who made the idea of it all and gifted this to the Shinigami themselves.

* Since Tzeentch achieves his goals by having his many plans constantly foil each other and benefiting from the fallout of said foiled plans, this makes him one of the few beings who achieves [[Just As Planned]] as a direct consequence of [[Not as Planned]]. Depending on how you think about it, this means Tzeentch could technically be considered a god of both.

* If the Deceiver and Tzeentch battle and the Deceiver wins Tzeentch actually wins in disguise. and vice versa. and this effect is cumulative. therefore an unending cycle of win or don't win is created there are currently over 9000 such cycles in existence

* Tzeentch has a pet cat that is both [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat alive and dead].

* Tzeentch can be defeated with the following train of logic.
:* You: So Tzeentch, you are a god of chaos?
:* Tzeentch: Yes.
:* You: So you would say that you are completely unpredictable?
:* Tzeentch: Yes.
:* You: So that means it is predictable that you will be unpredictable?
:* Tzeentch: ...

* Tzeentch is the reason the internets hyperlinks are Blue.

* Tzeentch coined the phrase "You activated my trap card".
* Tzeentch created the bug that causes Gandhi to go nuclear in Civilization.
* Greedo shooting first was Tzeentch doing.
* Tzeentch's favorite Gundam character is Char Aznable, the sheer amount of JUST AS PLANNED that the Red Comet uses put a grin on his face-for a brief moment.
* By virtue of defeating Junko Enoshima, a self-proclaimed follower of Nurgle, Makoto Naegi is unwittingly one of Tzeentch's greatest champions due to being a beacon of Hope. In fact, the Hope's Peak Killing Game, all the events involved in its creation and the subsequent Jabberwock Island Killing Game (and, consequently, numerous events that derive from the aforementioned Killing Games) [[Just as Planned| were all orchestrated by Tzeentch to prove his superiority to Nurgle.]] the former rubs it in the latter's face at every chance that he gets.

==See Also==
*[[Thousand Sons]]
*[[Ballad of the Thousand Sons]]
*[[Thousand Son and Guardswoman]]
*[[The Game (Tzeentch)]]
*[[Rubric Marines]]

==Gallery==
{{promotions}}
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Just as planned tzeentch.jpg
Image:Tzeentch_lord_of_change.jpg
Image:Tzeentchies.JPG|Tzeentchs followers
File:A_Typical_Sorceror_of_Tzeentch.jpg|A typical sorcerer of Tzeentch.
File:Tzeentchian Cultists.jpg|Pretty much how his cultists operate.
File:TzeentchianDie.gif|Tzeentch's dice change a lot when rolled.
File:TzeentchPinup.jpg|Even your masturbatory habits are just as planned.
Image:Tzeentch's_True_Form.png|This is speculated to be the true appearance of Tzeentch.
Image:MrTzeentch.jpg|The Avatar of Change. Then the avatar of Chaos undivided took his place.
Image:1ksons pokeymans.JPG| "I choose ''YOU;'' teach them all that Power demands Sacrifice!!"
File:Tzeentch servant.jpg|Different demon, same thing, or is it? Just as planned!
Image:Tzeentch_mark.png|His Mark. Side effects may include growing extra eyes and rambling about the plans.
Image:Sexualyeti_tzeentch_daemonette.png|A daemonette of Tzeentch drawn by SexualYeti.
</gallery>
</center>

{{ChaosGods}}

[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]]
[[Category: Disciples of Tzeentch]]

Angron

2020-07-26T22:38:59Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:748C:B105:AA91:7BA4: /* Gallery */

{{heresy}}
{{Cleanup}}
[[File:World Eaters.jpg|400px|thumb|right|Angron and his World Eaters, pre-heresy and pre-[[daemon prince]] in a rare state of tranquility standing on top of [[grimdark|a pile made of snow and dead bodies]]. It's hard to calm down when there's nails in your brain.]]
{{Topquote|I-I am going to be a storm-a flame-<br>I need to fight whole armies alone;<br>I have ten hearts; I have a hundred arms;<br>I feel too strong to war with mortals-<br>[[Rip and tear|BRING ME GIANTS]]!|Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac}}
{{Topquote|I was born in blood, raised in darkness and I shall die free!|Angron, to the Nucerian High Riders and their armies}}
{{Topquote|‘That’s because you’re free. The world can be– hnng,’ he snarled, fighting off a stabbing wave of pain from his Nails, ‘beautiful, when you finally get to see it without chains.’|Angron, to one of his companions in the break, before the last fight against the Nucerian High Riders}}

His name is Angron (A.K.A. '''The Red Angel''', '''The Slave of Nuceria''', '''40Atareus''', '''Shithead''' if you're sergeant Gharte, '''That Goddamn Retard''' if you're [[Leman Russ]], or '''That Complete Fucking Failure''' if your The emperor’s shadow.) Cmon, do we really have to spell it out? While his name may be a play on the words "Anger", it is possible that his name is based on the Greek word ''Agrion'' which means "Wild" or even ''Agron'', the Gallic word for "slaughter" (Which pretty much suits him considering he's the angriest, wildest, mother-fucking mother fucker in a long and extensive history of bipedal mother fuckers). Also, if you spell his name backwards it's Norgna, which has to count for something. Apparently the inspiration for his name was a corruption of the nickname a bouncer in Nottingham has: Angry Ron.
What we're trying to say is, Angron just might be the angriest and the most talented in manly face-to-face fighting son of a bitch in the galaxy. In fact, one time he was so angry about being angry all the time, that the part of him that made him angry exploded in his head, rendering him permanently angry (and also sexually impotent, but don't let him know that). And then there was that time he was kidnapped by the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emprah]], which didn't help his temper much, and gave him an excuse to fucking RAGE at his dad by joining up with [[Khorne]], Warhammer's God of Battle, War and [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAGE]]! Angron just so happens to be [[Primarch]] of the [[World eaters|World Eaters]] and [[Kharn|that swell guy]]. Hilariously, while you probably pictured a hulking brute reading this, he is described in fluff as one of the shortest Primachs, stooped and bald on the top of that. He is also Khorne's second most powerful champion, where he falls short to [[Doombreed]], Khorne's first ever [[Daemon Prince]]/Champion. But we can forgive him, because nobody can beat [[Genghis motherfucking Khan]].

His revered exploits include slaughtering the entire population of a planet within a night; killing an entire contingent of Eldar warriors led by a Farseer when he was only a child; and leading a gladiator rebellion against their slavers and slaughtering 25 other armies sent against them, non-stop, until a huge one made up of seven armies came and fucked their shit up against a dirty rock. The Emperor saved him from dying there (but left all his buddies to die), which was a tremendous blow to his martial pride and among other things, eventually led him to [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAGE]] furiously against the Emperor, believing him a coward devoid of honor. Angron went on to become one of the first Primarchs to side with Horus during the heresy, and was turned into a monstrous, frothing demon-prince by his brother Lorgar. Eventually, Angron joined up with KHORNE, the aforementioned God of War, Murder, Killing, Bloodshed, Weeping Buttholes, Battle and [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAGE]].

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNkRBowsAmI Here is the theme song of this glorious bastard.]

==History==
===Early Life===

Angron has good reason to be ever-so-slightly miffed: his early life was one big bowl of shit after another. First he crash-landed on his new home [[Nuceria|world]] (because Khorne didn't give him a soft landing) and had a good chunk of his head torn off in the crash, after which he got jumped by the aforementioned Eldar, then (tired from the killing and the massive brain trauma --keep in mind he was like 6 hours old) got captured and sold into slavery by people with near-Imperial level technology before making him fight as a gladiator for their entertainment.

A later retcon revealed he was a decent guy who loved his fellow gladiators, but after an incident where he refused to kill his adoptive father in the arenas, his masters proceeded to replace part of his brain with ARCHAEOTECH SHIT (originally this happened before he fully grew up) that drove him so mad that he murdered his dad regardless, cueing a massive bout of despair. The stuff they stuck in his head would later be called ''"The Butcher's Nails"'', and, though never fully understood (even after the Emprah's best techs took a look), they constantly applied pain to his brain and made it so the only time he could feel anything resembling happiness was while murdering shit. It should also be noted that they go from excruciating to normal, and ''do not'' deal with the pleasure centers of the brain.

After years of being a slave, fighting through the gladiator pits and becoming the best of them, Angron eventually set up and led a rebellion, fighting to free his brother and sister gladiators. This would make him 40k's answer to Spartacus, the same way Curze is 40k Batman. Around that time, the Emperor showed up, and hashed out a deal with the local planetary government in order to expedite Angron's capture and win over the planet without any further bloodshed, because there was no point in the Emperor helping his son win a (totally justified) war against a population that had already submitted to compliance. Of course, this deal required the Emperor to take Angron away from the only people who weren't shitty to him and leaving them all to die; but Big E didn't give a rat's ass about those fuckers (and they were all summarily executed, as you would expect in a slave rebellion). Naturally, he didn't tell Angron any of this, because <s>he couldn't give less of a shit</s> [[Aaron Dembski-Bowden]] wanted to make the Emperor look like an ass again. Daddy issues don't make for good writing, but said good writing is harder to write. Of course, the Emperor could have saved them all or simply kill the local slavers who were, despite compliance, flying in the face of the law of the Great Crusade, and take the slaves to his ship to be made into a loyal ass-wrecking rapetrain of AWESOME alongside all the Terran legionnaires. Buuuut we need our dose of our [[Edgy]] [[Grimdark]] here, right?

Back on [[Terra]], the Big E summoned [[Arkhan Land]] to his labs and showed Angron spread out with his skull hacked open & brain exposed on a a surgery table, taking a good look at Angron's fucked-up skull and decided that he was a waste of time and effort. The Butcher's Nails were quite literally destroying his brain so fast that the Mechanicus estimated that he wouldn't live long enough to see the end of the Great Crusade.

Considering that later during the Horus Heresy, '''Menes Kalliston''' of the [[Thousand Sons]] was fairly certain that their [[psyker]]-medics could figure out how to remove them from [[Khârn|a certain swell guy]], it is probable that the Emperor - being the most intelligent person in the [[Imperium]] and the most powerful psyker ever - ''<u>could</u>'' have achieved it if he put some resources into it. Considering that in "Mechanicum" he merely needed to touch a [[Imperial Knight|Knight]] to fully repair the machine the evidence does not add up. There is the possibility that the Emperor had the foresight to know that some of the Primarchs were going to betray him eventually, so he wrote Angron off as one of the bad ones without even trying. If not, then he was simply being a [[Eldrad|dick]].

===Great Crusade===
[[File:Preheresy-world-eaters.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Angron back when the Great Crusade was still a thing.]]
{{Topquote|You kept that mule Kor Phaeron. Russ kept his kin-friends. The Lion kept Luther. Humans - brothers and foster fathers - saved and raised into Legion ranks. But not me. Not Angron, no. Did the Emperor teleport his gold-wrapped Custodians down to help me and my army? No. Did he free the War Hounds and order them to battle, fight alongside me? No. Did he save my brothers and sisters the way he spared the Lion’s closest kin? No, no, and no. No mercy for Angron. Angron the Oathbreaker. Angron the Betrayer.| Angron explains his anger towards the Emperor to Lorgar, during one of his more calm moments.}}

Either way, when Angron was introduced to his legion he was inconsolable. He ended up hacking apart the legion captains until Khârn (who was actually much further down the list of command, having risen up the ladder thanks to several of his superiors' untimely ends) managed to talk some sense into his father. So, despite already writing Angron off as a broken tool the Emperor was willing to let him kill off many useful ranking officers, betting it all on the fact that a broken Primarch is still a Primarch. Though bearing in mind the Emperor had already let [[Perturabo]] dispassionately decimate 10% of an ''entire legion'', Angron killing some captains in an emotional meltdown is small potatoes.

Anyway, [[Kharn]] successfully talks some sense into him, and Angron renamed his legion ''World Eaters'', a name you might recognize translates to ''fucking savage'' in the common tongue. Angron's old army of gladiators whom he'd led to freedom and been denied death alongside them was known as "the eaters of cities" on [[Nuceria]]. So, as Dreagher, a Terran-born War Hounds legionary who served as Captain of the Legion's 9th Company, described it: ''from then on, they would no longer be the War Hounds, but Angron's "eaters of worlds"''.

Angron then replicated the Butcher's Nails technology on his legionaries, despite the Empy's warnings and how much he hated the source of the Nails, his old masters - which adds a little hypocritical spice to his complaints about how the Nails ruined his life, given that he did the same thing to other people for no fucking reason when given the chance. Perhaps Angron wanted his sons to feel the same pain he experienced since he would never be able to remove the goddamn thing from his brain and it pissed him off that his own flesh and blood did not suffer as he did. Even in spite of being the first legionary to GIT SOME, [[Kharn|that swell guy]] became Angron's 'cool headed' equerry. Ironic.

The Nails also negatively interacted with psykers, killing Librarians who tried to get them installed (blowing holes in spaceships and taking down entire squads of space marines in the process as their altered brain chemistry made it impossible for them to control their abilities anymore). Also merely being near a psyker made other Legionaries feel... ''uncomfortable'' (described as ''ticking'' by Kharn). Angron personally took this to eleven, hating psykers for the additional pain they brought - with the strange exception of Lorgar & the Emperor, who seemed not to trigger that effect. Still, the whole Butcher's Nails thing is actually quite tragic. In "Betrayer" Argel Tal asks Kharn why the World Eaters allowed themselves to be mutilated so, to which Kharn replies that they thought it would bring them closer to their father. Argel Tal continues asking if it worked, and Kharn sadly mutters to himself "no, it didn't". So, before Erebus made sure that Kharn would become the RAAAAAAGE train we know in 40k by killing Argel Tal (in the same novel), because - as Erebus put it - his damned humanity would have spared Kharn this fate (because becoming a berzerk psychopathic killer is so much more awesome than staying sane) he appears to be regretting this decision - at least at this point.

During the Great Crusade, the World Eaters were known as the Imperium's butcher force. Their arrival or even just the threat of their arrival in a system was enough to make non-compliant Imperial worlds surrender, lest they be completely and utterly be butchered by the Red Angel and his sons - which only made it easier for the World Eaters to butcher them. Angron ordered his sons to complete every single conquest and compliance action in thirty-one hours, since he and his gladiator army had once destroyed an entire city on Nuceria in the same span of time. When and if they failed, he mocked them for being inadequate and ordered them to [[Perturabo|decimate themselves]], it apparently not having occurred to him that it's a little harder to take down an entire planet than it is one city, even if you are a Space Marine legion. Things were getting so bad that some of the World Eaters' senior officers were considering going to the Emperor for help, at least until the Nails became a thing and they stopped caring about anything beyond RIP AND TEAR. One of them even talked back to Angron on the subject, which caused him to RAEG the fuck out and start killing his own sons again until some of the Librarians knocked him out.

He also had a run in with [[Leman Russ]] at some point, just after the XII Legion started getting their brains Nailed. Russ came to Angron after having heard reports that the World Eaters were increasingly just bathing in blood, instead of bringing worlds to compliance. Angron wasn't as brain-damaged as he would be later, so he asked if Russ had come on order of the Emperor. Russ grudgingly had to admit he wasn't; this wasn't an execution ordered by the Emperor (yet) and he privately didn't want it to become one in the future. So he went on saying that implanting Angron's legionaries with the Nails had to stop and that they'd be brought to Terra so a way of removing them could be devised (so he basically told Angron to sort his shit out and stop mutilating his sons). But we all know how good Russ is with people and generally <s>just liked throwing his weight around</s>. In more seriousness, this is one of the cases where Russ really, genuinely wanted to help one of his brothers, having had his own bouts with [[rage|irresistible murderous intent]] to deal with. His approach sadly [[fail|wasn't well thought out]]. Though to be fair Angron wasn't exactly diplomatic either, telling Russ that the Nails were the only thing that kept him going, that the EMPRA was just another slaver (and that bringing "compliance" to worlds was just a way of candycoating enslaving worlds which merely had wished to be left alone), and that without the Nails he might go to Big.E and chop "the slaving bastard's" head off. Ironically enough Angron had a solid point with the former argument, but the very suggestion of turning against Emps basically made Russ [[rage|lose what remained of his cool on the spot]] with the result one would expect.

There was a brief skirmish between the two Legions (an event which would come to be known as the "Night of the Wolf") where Angron fought Leman Russ in personal combat. He made him his personal bitch until he was outmaneuvered by the Space Wolves troops and surrounded, isolated from his World Eaters who were just like their father putting up one hell of a fight and hurt on the Wolves but being slowly separated and isolated from each other. Russ then tried to make his point a second time; that Angron's berzerker rage made him and his Legion lose sight of the larger tactical and strategic objectives and that Russ had lured him into a position where he would be killed. Angron refused to acknowledge his losing position since he was the one holding the weapon at his brother's throat and that killing EVERYONE should be the only objective anyway. Russ might be very well holding the proverbial gun to his temple, but it was only worth anything if he was willing to pull the trigger. Which at that point Russ wasn't, so Angron completely ignored him. Yet, surprisingly, Angron did not press his attack either and both Primarchs separated and went their own way.

Angron was certain of his victory that day and didn't give the incident any more thought, the Nails stayed with him and his Legion. In the end, though, Leman Russ was right: Angron's failure to learn and control his murderous rage would be amply demonstrated and only become worse with time. At the tail end of the Great Crusade when he butchered a whole city which had just surrendered, on Isstvan III when he sabotaged Horus' clean [[Exterminatus]] by going down to rip the loyalists apart personally, and on Nuceria where he ordered every living being killed. But what’s truly sad is that Lorgar actually did seemingly succeed where Russ had failed in teaching the lesson of the Night of the Wolf years later, and on their way to Nuceria, during Angron’s last weeks as a human, he actually seemed to be trying to open himself up a little more to his legion by joining them in watching pit fights and hanging out with them during feasts, all of which was rendered too little too late by what went down when they reached their destination.

===Horus Heresy===
[[File:Daemon-Angron HHST.png|400px|thumb|right|Angron during the [[Siege of Terra]], about to give the defenders a very bad day]]
On which note, Angron kicked off his contribution to the Heresy in a way that had Horus' lieutenants suggest killing him. When the firestorm on Isstvan died down, it became apparent that large numbers of Loyalists had survived. Said survivors immediately hit the vox-casters and began demanding answers/hurling insults up at the orbiting fleet, outraged and grief stricken that they had been betrayed by their own Primarchs. Hearing the howled insults of his own Loyalist World Eaters, Angron flew into a rage and ordered his legion to deploy onto the planet. This meant that Horus couldn't just bombard the city again, and committed the Traitors to fighting a long, brutal campaign which delayed them and sapped their numbers.

He was much handier on Isstvan V, wreaking all sorts of carnage in the [[Dropsite Massacre]]. He stayed behind to hunt down the surviving Raven Guard who'd escaped with their Primarch, and would have massacred them if not for their reserves rocking up from Deliverance.

Lorgar then roped Angron into his Shadow Crusade, systematically butchering worlds across Ultramar to invoke the Ruinstorm. Initially, this was a campaign with mixed success: the two Legions nearly fought in the void before an Eldar fleet tried to destroy Angron, and the World Eaters wiped out several worlds which Lorgar had wanted to skip. The Word Bearers were nearly driven to despair by the World Eaters' degradation, and Lorgar began to worry that Angron couldn't see how he was degenerating - and there was only one way that could end. Still, Lorgar wanted to save Angron, although in his case "save" meant "transfigure into a daemon Primarch". Angron was, according to Horus and Lorgar, the only Primarch (beside Horus himself) that would be able to successfully take on and beat Sanguinius in full rage mode. To do that, Lorgar led Angron back to his shitty home planet [[Nuceria]] where Angron went into a deep depression after witness the tragic aftermath of his rebellion. And that lasted until he had the misfortune to be told he had fled that final battle, which made him go completely berserk, ordering his legion to slaughter every fucking thing on the planet faster than an [[Exterminatus|inquisitoral cyclonic torpedoes bombardment]].

The arrival of Guilliman's forces delayed its inevitable doom for a little while, and Angron had an epic showdown with [[Roboute Guilliman]] when he helped [[Lorgar]] fighting big boy blue. Guilliman called Angron out to which the Red Angel replied as follows:

<blockquote>''"What would you know of struggle, Perfect Son? When have you fought against the mutilation of your mind? When have you had to do anything more than tally compliances and polish your armour?" [...] "The people of your world named you Great One. The people of mine called me Slave. Which one of us landed on a paradise of civilization to be raised by a foster father, Roboute? Which one of us was given armies to lead after training in the halls of the Macraggian high-riders? Which one of us inherited a strong, cultured kingdom? And which one of us had to rise up against a kingdom with nothing but a horde of starving slaves? Which one of us was a child enslaved on a world of monsters, with his brain cut up by carving knives? Listen to your blue-clad wretches yelling of courage and honour, courage and honour, courage and honour. Do you even know the meaning of those words? Courage is fighting the kingdom which enslaves you, no matter that their armies outnumber yours by ten-thousand to one. You know nothing of courage. Honour is resisting a tyrant when all others suckle and grow fat on the hypocrisy he feeds them. You know nothing of honour."''</blockquote>

Choke on deez nuts, Papa Smurf. Guilliman ended up getting beaten so badly he had to crawl away on hands and knees, but not before throwing back:

<blockquote>''"You’re still a slave, Angron. Enslaved by your past, blind to the future. Too hateful to learn. Too spiteful to prosper."''</blockquote>

The irony is Angron was right all along about Emperor being a dick, as Roboute realized on Terra ten thousand years later. But in all seriousness, both of them had a point. Guilliman had it really easy and could have turned out massively different had his life not been so cushy, while Angron's rage over ''his'' admittedly-shitty life had consumed his soul and didn't exactly let him off the hook for turning his entire legion into murder machines.

Furthermore, during their duel Guilliman shattered one of the skulls that Angron had carried on him, which were the remains of the rebels Angron had carried with him (and whom he had promised to die alongside with... until the EMPRA abducted him. Angron himself said to Lorgar in "Betrayer" that he died on Nuceria), which obviously drove Angron to an entire new level of despair, allowing for Lorgar to capitalize on that emotion to fuel Angron's ascension into a daemon primarch. There were even 19 World Eater librarians, that had tried to prevent their primarch's ascension forming a gestalt warhound, pulling Angron's soul from one end, while Lorgar as well as some daemons pulled at it from the other, like children fighting over a doll. In the end, Lorgar - being the more powerful psyker - defeated the librarians, and turned Angron into the Daemon Primarch we all know and love. Guilliman ended up suffering a grievous wound, but escaped the planet, which was rendered devoid of all life by the World Eaters, and had its records erased by the Imperium of Man.

It should also be noted that one or two battles beforehand a Warhound Scout Titan tried to step on Lorgar after the Aurelian had taken two discharges of the the titan's main plasma weapon and was badly hurt (to the point of almost being mortally wounded) in the process. Angron stepped in to save his brother, catching the titan's foot and setting a new world record in squat weightlifting, keeping the titans weight suspended above himself through his sheer strength and RAGE, enabling Lorgar - who was almost dead at this point - to escape. And this was after digging his way up through 200+ feet of solid debris, after being warned by WE Librarians he had been digging 'downwards', and with Lorgar teleporting from orbit to help excavating the XIIth Primach (while Lorgar simultaneously destroyed several Ultramarine Thunderhawks with telekinetically hurled building debris which Angron had been buried under). Of course, after this the relationship between the two primarchs became pretty remarkable, and Lorgar ended up repaying the favor by arranging for Angron's ascension to daemonhood during their fight with Guilliman. At first Lorgar thought that Guilliman was ruining the "song" and finally understood that Guilliman had never hated or looked down on him until the Heresy (and the destruction of Calth) - actually distracting Lorgar for a moment as he realized that he had misunderstood his brother all along - At the end though, when Guilliman was about to gain the upper hand Angron emerged and engaged the XIII Primarch. At this very moment (topped off by Guilliman stepping on one of the aforementioned skulls) the "song" fell back in tune, and Lorgar could finish the incantation.

After Angron's ascension, he was even more the uncontrollable rage monster that he had always been and still hacked his way through the occasional officer that got on the wrong side of him. So the World Eaters locked him up on his flagship while they wondered what to do with him, which caused all the sorts of changes you'd expect by locking a roaring daemon up in the basement. Kharn visited his father during a lucid moment to try and get some sense out of him, having to remind his father of the red sands of Deshea and the gladiator he used to be. But Angron had already lost so much of his sense of self to [[Khorne]] that he did not even recognise the Legion as his own anymore, warning Kharn that the only way to continue serving him was to follow him down the same path. What's more was that as a daemon-Primarch, his grasp on reality was tenuous so the legion could only continue to keep their father in constant combat to ensure that he remained with them, forcing them to divert their forces towards literally any inhabited system to continue fighting and keeping the flow of blood going. Kharn ''(and presumably the rest of the legion)'' start losing themselves soon after.

===41st Millennium===
[[Image:Angrondemon.jpg|300px|thumb|Even in daemonhood, they ''still'' can't get the Nails out. Fucking Archeotech was built to ''last''!]]
Angron has done far more shit than all the other Daemon Primarchs put together. Instead of [[Fulgrim|sitting around being a painting on some Chaos God's wall]], [[Mortarion|sitting around while being a rotting fatass and feeling sorry for themselves]], [[Magnus the Red|sitting around and yelling just as planned anytime anything happens]], [[Lorgar|sitting around and preaching constantly]], [[Horus|being]] [[Alpharius|(Maybe)]] [[Konrad Curze|dead]], or [[Primarch#Two Missing Primarchs|being missing]]; Angron actually gets shit done and boy howdy when he [[rage|rages]] his way out of the eye of terror he makes sure that everyone knows about it...by tearing ''everything'' that gets in his way a new one until he finally gets thrown back into the warp by drowning in a quadrillion metric fucktons of [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Guardsmen]], [[Planetary Defense Force | Planetary Defense Force soldiers]], [[Space Marines|Spehss Mehreens]], [[Witch Hunters]], [[Sisters of Battle|Bolter Bitches]], [[Titan|Titans]], [[Stormtrooper|Inquisitorial Stormtroopers]], [[Daemonhunters]], and [[Grey Knights]], but to be fair, everyone kind of does that when the Imperium <strike>finishes the paperwork needed to</strike> retaliates.

This was of course before The Gathering Storm, whereupon Magnus personally attacked [[Fenris]] and laid waste to much of the planet and destroyed a lot of gene-seed, proving that [[Tzeentch]] can get shit done too. Then in 8th edition Mortarion waged [[Plague Wars]] against [[Ultramar]] and established the [[Scourge Stars]] systems in M42. Also it should be noted that Fulgrim has been free of that painting for a while now, but otherwise he still fits in the above category.

He also slaughtered his way throughout Imperial Space for over a century with 50,000 World Eater [[Berserker]]s and destroyed/maimed/killed/burned/broke the backs of/split open/fucked 70 sectors. However, in a subsequent Imperial offensive, Angron was banished to the warp and his men routed. This strike force comprised 2 Titan Legions, ''only'' 4 full Spess Mehreen chapters and over 30 Imperial Guard regiments to do that, so it's suffice to say that the counterattack put up quite a fight against the superior force. But to be fair, Angron's force was only comprised of close combat heavy infantry without ranged support or artillery. Later on, he showed up with an even bigger force to attack Armageddon. The Imperium responded in kind, sending in one hundred [[Grey Knights|Grey Knight Terminators]], and all but ten of them died fighting Angron and his Bloodthirster posse(and only because their prodigy Librarian Hyperion managed to shatter his sword, and he STILL managed to murder their leader with just his bare fists). He is armed with a really huge fucking chainaxe that's taller than him with chainswords for the chainteeth of the chainaxe. He's also got a stormbolter, but we wouldn't be surprised if that fired chainswords as well. Fittingly enough, it was called 'Godtearer'.

==In video games==

Unfortunately, he has appeared in only one of the official games, which greatly displeases [[Khorne]]. However, in the Ultimate Apocalypse mod for [[Dawn of War]], he takes the place of the Chaos Daemons' "game-ending win button" unit - and he's a walking rapetrain that can [[Awesome|obliterate buildings with a single hit, take out Titans in three, make himself invincible, and summon a retinue of Bloodthirsters]]. He can also be almost unkillable by exploiting a bug which lets him instantly refill his morale, which gives him disturbingly fast health regeneration. Too bad you'll almost never use him. He costs so many relic points in an army that consumes them like candy that, if you can spare the points and time to conjure him, chances are you're already winning so badly you don't actually need him. Seriously, for the same number of points it takes to conjure Angron you could just build 5-6 Helldrakes or an equal amount of Bloodthirsters, and keep in mind Chaos Daemons need the same resource for anything greater than lesser Daemons. If you're not spending them on other units you need ''right now'' then you can just overwhelm them with what you already have. Essentially the definition of "awesome but impractical", but sweet jesus is it truly awesome to watch.

Angron shows up in the Horus Heresy:Legions card game, being one of the best warlords, and keeping in with his character he has to attack every turn.

==On the tabletop==

===Heresy===
{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || I || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Angron:''' || 400 || 9 || 5 || 7 || 6 || 5 || 7 || 6(10) || 10 || 3+/4++
|}

Obviously one of the strongest Primarchs in the game when things come to HtH, Angron has a 3+ armor (weak for a demigod), 4+ invulnerable, FNP (the full rule since the 02/11/2019 errata), the Primarch rule, 5 wounds and T6. On the charge he has 7 S9 attacks (6 S8 normally) at WS9 with Hatred, so he gets to reroll to-hit rolls on the first turn of any combat, while also having Armourbane and dealing Instant Death on to wound roll of 6, in case S8-9 doesn't instagib anything right away. Thanks to the Butcher's Nail he will gain 1 bonus attack, up to 10 total attacks, for every Independent Character or Infantry unit he kills/destroys in close combat (But he must be the one to give the fatal blow/remove the last model to pick up this bonus) and he can also challenge as many times as there are Independent Characters and units in combat with him thanks to the Red Sands rule, assuring he will at least pick some extra attacks during the course of the game.

The obvious downsides are that, aside from butchering things in melee, Angron cannot do anything: he doesn't buff his army in any way aside 12" aura of Fearless, while other Primarchs bestow significant buffs to their armies, and of course he is one of the (if not THE) most fragile of the Primarchs, having only 5 wounds and 3+/4++. Having FNP 5+ doesn't fully compensate against mass fire but makes him actually more resilient than most of his brothers against AP2 attacks. So all in all he's much like Kharn on steroids: you reach melee - you're king, you get your transport blown up and then get kited across the table - you're fucked. The other problem he shares with Kharn is that he tends to annihilate anything he charges in one phase either through sweeping advance or just by killing everyone outright, which leaves him vulnerable to enemy fire afterwards.

Honestly, he's not worth it. Between his fragility, low mobility, and lack of army bonuses, he's a tricky Primarch to use. Unfortunate considering his badass fluff.

===40k===
He had stats from an old issue of [[White Dwarf]] that makes him a 500 point walking rapemachine who makes [[Abaddon]] the Despoiler and [[Mephiston]] look like total pussies, but you have to get him a bodyguard of at least 2-12 [[Bloodthirster|bloodthirsters]], which effectively racks up his point cost to over 1300 at the least. But with his mandatory bloodthirster bodyguard he can even kill An'ggrath, the biggest and baddest bloodthirster of them all. But they would never fight in canon because An'ggrath is one of the only entities in the universe that Angron respects due to An'ggrath's equal capacity for [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!]]...<strike>oh and Khorne says his champions can't fight each other because despite being balls-to-the-wall angry, Khorne knows well enough that the more champions he has on his side, the more blood spilled on his behalf. Thus, offing one of his champs is counter-productive since he's losing more than he's eventually gaining.</strike> That sounds like the prissy rationale of someone who's philosophizing when they could be killing! Blood for the Blood God!

With the looming release of 8th Edition, there's a very good chance that Daemon Angron could be getting an actual model and updated stats before long, especially with the news that Armageddon is gonna be playing host to a massive horde of Khornate Daemons called the Blood Crusade. ''You just know'' that Angron is gonna be leading that, back for round 2. After Magnus and the imminent release of Mortarion, Angron and Fulgrim, being the other aligned daemon Primarchs, are strong contenders for release sometime in the next 12 months.

*Still waiting GW. Angron didn't show up to Armageddon, and he didn't show up to Terra, but we know he's coming.
*It is now the eve of 9th edition, and Angron still has not arrived, nor has Fulgrim
*A new excerpt published at the ninth edition release suggests Angron is coming back to Armageddon for a Boogaloo of apocalyptic proportions

==Angron VS other Primarchs:==
<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">
Primarch fighting, while fun to see, isn't a very competitive thing to do as it'll usually tie up both Primarchs for the entire game without either of them dying (But with Angron this is less likely as you're going to die or kill fast!), with that in mind this section is about how Angron fares against other Primarchs Mathhammer wise. Please note that all the various abilities are taken into accounts when possible and the match-ups assume the Primarchs are the only ones involved in the fighting, so various abilities like Angron's "The Butcher's Nails" and Rampage do not provide any bonuses. The fights are supposed to be in a vacuum for simplicity (So no Furious Charge for our hero...), but notes are added to make things clearer in particular instances. Also all of the Primarchs use their most powerful weapons (because why have a contest if you don't do your best?)
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">

* Angron VS Horus
**Horus turn 1 & 2: hits 3 times, wounds 2.667 times, 0.888 after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.555 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Horus (with Angron wounded twice): hits 3.999 times, wounds 3.555 times, causes 1.185 wounds after saves & FNP, taken to 0.851 with IWND at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 1.48 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.148.
**Angron Wounded: hits 3 times, wounds 1.999 times, 0.666 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Despite a good showing in the first round; when factoring in Disabling Strike the whole thing becomes academic; Horus overtakes Angron in damage capacity after one wound (<2 turns) and quickly beats Angron to a pulp as Angron continues to flail feebly.

* Angron vs Fulgrim
**Fulgrim hits 3.5 times, wounds 2.333 times (2.722 times if his warlord trait is Child of Terra), 1.166 (1.361) times after saves, 0.971 (1.134) after Feel No Pain (remember that half of the attacks that wound cause Instant Death) and IWND will take that down to 0.638 (0.801) wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 1.48 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.148.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.111 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.778 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**A really close fight: Angron does marginally more damage if Fulgrim doesn't chose Child of Terra as his Warlord Trait. With Child of Terra it becomes a battle of attrition that Angron will eventually lose. If Angron gets blinded at any point due to Fulgrim's Gilded Panoply it puts him at a disadvantage he likely wont recover from.

* Angron VS Ferrus
**Ferrus hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.083 times, 0.694 times after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.361 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.185 after saves, and IWND take it down to 0.852.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 0.889 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.556 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Thanks to his upgraded Feel No Pain, Angron can tank more than Ferrus can, resulting in a win.

* Angron VS Konrad Curze
**Curze hits 3 times, wounds 2.25 times, 0.750 wounds after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.417 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 2.222 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.889.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron easily wins, doing a lot more damage and receiving less in turn.
**Note: Curze can Hit & Run, but by doing so he would only gain one more attack, while allowing Angron to reset his Hatred, thus actually making himself die even faster.

* Angron VS Vulkan
**Vulkan hits 2 times, wounds 1.666 times, 0.833 wounds after saves (ID Negates FNP) and IWND will take that down to 0.5 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.185 after saves, and IWND take it down to 0.63.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 0.889 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Vulkan wins (barely). This fight is actually much closer what the simplified maths suggest. Since IWND only comes into affect on the controlling players turn ''(two rounds of combat)'' Each combatant gets their damage output twice before IWND kicks in, so Vulkan's legendary endurance nearly fails him by the second bout of combat on turn four, possibly resulting in a mutual kill.

* Angron vs Mortarion
**Mortarion hits 2.5 times, wounds 1.666 times, 0.833 times after saves (no FNP due to Instant Death) and IWND will take that down to 0.5 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.777 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.222.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 1.333 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.778 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Mortarion loses. Despite having the same reroll on IWND and doing the same damage per turn as Vulkan; even with one extra wound Mortarion's poorer save allows Angron to take him down more quickly.

* Angron VS Lorgar
**Lorgar hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.083 times, 0.694 after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that to 0.361 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 4 times, wounds 3.111 times, 1.555 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.222.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron wins pretty easily.
**Note: against Lorgar Transfigured with Precognition Lorgar wins (Not as easily as the old version, but is still a monster).

*Angron VS Perturabo
**Perturabo hits 2 times, wounds 1.667 times, 0.555 wounds after saves and FNP, then IWND will take that down to 0.222 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 1.48 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.148.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.111 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.778 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron wins.
**Note: in the turn after Perturabo actually wounds Angron (69% per round) he will most probably be blinded and then hammered to death. So if he can't kill him before that he is actually dead meat.

* Angron VS Alpharius
**Alpharius hits 2.917 times, wounds 1.7 times, 0.85 wounds after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.517 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 2.222 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.889.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**As with Vulkan, Angron can't use FNP in this fight due to the Pale Spear's Instant Death, but he still easily takes the win.

* Angron VS Rogal Dorn
**Dorn hits 2 times, wounds 1.5 times, 0.499 wounds after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.167 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Dorn (Sundering Blow) hits once, wounds 0.972 times, 0.486 wounds after saves (No FNP due to Instant Death), taken to 0.152 at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.777 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.444.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 2.667 times, 1.333 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**This is probably Angron's easiest fight.
**Note: Sundering Blow cancels out Feel No Pain so it was worth calculating. Turns out it makes no difference here; Dorn has too few attacks to make a difference either way.

* Angron VS Corvus Corax
**Corvus hits 4 times (Scourge)/3 times (Shadow-walk), wounds 3 times (Scourge)/2.25 times (Shadow-walk), 0.999 wounds (Scourge)/0.750 wounds (Shadow-walk) after saves and FNP and IWND will take that down to 0.666/0.417 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333/4.5 times, wounds 4.444/3.75 times, 2.963/2.5 after saves, and IWND take it down to 2.63/2.167.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4/3 times, wounds 3.333/2.5 times, 2.222/1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.889/1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron wins really easily as Corax is simply too frail for him.
**Note: differently from Curze, Corax would actually have the edge on the charge thanks to his Sire of the Raven Guard rule and his Hammer of Wrath/dual Archeotech Pistols. Also in a turn in which blind goes off he could have the advantage of Shadow-walk and scourge at the same times (plus more, 'cause he would hit on 3s). A tough fight, but more on his style and it could make him win in extremis.

* Angron VS Roboute Guilliman
**Angron Round 1: Angron has Hatred, so on the first turn he will hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 2.222 after saves, 1.972 after Armour of Reason re-roll and IWND take it down to 1.639.
**Angron Round 2: Angron hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves, 1.417 after re-roll and IWND will take that down to 1.084 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 3 and thereafter: Angron hits 3 times, wounds 2.5 times, 1.25 after saves and 1 after re-roll. Then IWND take it down to 0.667.
**Guilliman Round 1/2/3: hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.222 times, 0.741 times after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.407 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 4 and thereafter: hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.963 times, 0.987 times after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.654 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Unsurprisingly, Guilliman loses this fight.

*Angron vs Magnus
**Angron first round: hits 4.5 times, wounds 3.75 times and 1.875 after saves which IWND will take down to 1.542 at the start of next turn
**Angron second round: hits 3 times, wounds 2.5 times and 1.25 after saves which IWND will take down to 0.917 at the start of next turn
**Magnus: hits twice, wounds 1.667 times, reducing to 0.557 after saves & FNP. Then IWND will take down to 0.222 at the start of next turn
**Magnus (using Force): hits twice, wounds 1.667, reduces to 0.834 after saves. IWND brings this to 0.5 at the start of the next turn.
**Psychic powers normally don't get included in the PvP breakdowns, but Magnus is the only one with a Force Weapon so it was worth mentioning. Either way you look at it, Magnus loses this one pretty badly. Things would obviously be different if other powers were included.
**As with psychic powers in general in 30k, this fight is really swingy based on what powers Magnus takes. If he can roll Iron arm and Warp speed with a power left to generate then he could take Prescience to actually gain a decent chance of winning. At the same time he could also have a tough time in power generation and get squished.

*Angron VS Leman Russ
**Angron Round 1: Angron has Hatred and is hitting on a 5+, so he hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.778 times, invul save brings it down to 1.389 and IWND brings it to 1.056 wounds.
**Angron Round 2 and on: Angron is hitting on 5s, so hits 2 times, wounds 1.666 times, saves brings it down to .833 and IWND brings it 0.5
**Leman hits Angron 3.214 times, wounds 2.678 times, save brings it down to 1.339, FNP brings it 0.892 and IWND brings it down 0.559
**As expected Angron loses this fight. Angron puts up a reasonable fight but the wolf king is just much for him.
**TLDR: Without the Sword of Balelight, the fight is very close. Sword of Balelight is pretty busted.

* Angron VS Jaghatai
**Jaghatai (on Bike) hits 4 times, wounds 2 times, 1 wounds after saves and FNP will take that down to 0.666 and IWND will take that down to 0.333
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.185 wounds after saves, and IWND take it down to 0.852 at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 0.888 wounds after saves, IWND will take that down to 0.556 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angrons wins, and if Jaghatai uses hit-and-run he'll get destroyed even faster.

* Angron vs Sanguinius
**Sanguinius charging: hits 4 times (3.5 times with Blade Encarmine), wounds 3.999 times (double wounds taken into account) (3.111 with Encarmine), becomes 1.999 (1.037 with Encarmine & FNP) after saves
***Sanguinius Hammer of Wrath: 1 autohit, wounds 0.833 times, becomes 0.277 after saves and FNP.
***Total combined damage on charge 2.276 (1.314), taken to 1.944 (0.981) next turn with IWND
**Sanguinius thereafter: hits 3.5 times (3 times with Blade Encarmine), wounds 2.333 times (double wounds taken into account)(2.666 with Encarmine), taken to 1.166 after saves (0.888 with Encarmine + FNP), taken to 0.8333 (0.555) next turn with IWND
**Angron Round 1: hits 4.5 times, wounds 3.75 times, becomes 1.875 after saves (0.938 if Sanguinius charged). IWND takes it to 1.54 (0.604) next turn
**Angron thereafter: hits 3 times, wounds 2.5 times, becomes 1.25 after saves and IWND takes it to 0.917 next turn
***There is a lot going on with this fight depending on what Sanguinius is doing. With the Spear of Telesto, from a standing start or if Angron charges there is a mutual kill by about the fifth bout of combat. If Sanguinius can get the charge he wins.
***With the Blade Encarmine there is a close mutual kill if Sanguinius charges, but Angron wins from a standing start or if he charges. Feel No Pain really makes the difference.

* TLDR version: Despite being mocked for ''only'' having 3+/4++ in saves and fewer wounds than everyone but Lorgar (or Corax on a bad day), Angron is surprisingly resilient thanks to his FNP(5+). He will outpace most opponents thanks to his high number of attacks and good WS, so those who can't match his output turn-for-turn can only hope to outlast him. Angron is pretty vulnerable to Strikedown, Concussive, Blind, and basically any rule which reduces his ability to hit things ''(eg: Horus & Russ)'', all of which will severely cripple his overall damage potential. Keep in mind, as mentioned above, this is without any benefits from his The Butcher's Nails rule. With his attacks maxed out he can destroy almost any other Primarch (even Lorgar with Precognition, though it is damn close) with the exception of a few like Russ and...yeah, you guessed it right: Horus! Although he will surely put a dent even in the Warmaster.
</div></div>

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Past-Angron-art.jpg| You'd be pissed off too if your dad didn't let you avenge your dog.
File:Past-Angron.jpg| Doomguy called he wants his training uniform back, and he wants your head with it.
File:Angaron.jpg|WHY IS HE BEATING UP HIS OWN LEGION said everyone on Isstvan III. Proof that Angron was actually a Loyalist Primarch. Don't believe the Chaos Lies!
File:Angron.jpg|Can [[Anime|Vegeta]] say what his power level is?
File:Angron Butchers Nails.jpg|Angron before Daemonhood. The only real difference is a lack of wings.
File:Aerion's Angron.jpg|Angron portrayed in his natural state: PISSED THE FUCK OFF!
File:Angron by alexboca-d7930i6.jpg|Angron just generally being a boss (and looking absolutely goddamn awesome while doing so). And you call the epic ness that he wears "3+" greatly displeases khorne and teh emprah
File:angron_is_for_angry_by_sunradio-d6oferw.jpg|Daemon Primarch Angron at the final battle of the First war of Armageddon.
File:Happy angron.jpg|Angron can be happy too!
</gallery>

==See Also==
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKPVNaKvODw&t=0s| They hit him with a truck!]

----
Angron also supposedly wrote some stuff called the Clotted Scrolls. What this means is unknown

{{Primarchs}}
{{Daemons-Characters}}

[[category:Chaos]]

Angron

2020-07-26T22:38:32Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:748C:B105:AA91:7BA4: /* Gallery */

{{heresy}}
{{Cleanup}}
[[File:World Eaters.jpg|400px|thumb|right|Angron and his World Eaters, pre-heresy and pre-[[daemon prince]] in a rare state of tranquility standing on top of [[grimdark|a pile made of snow and dead bodies]]. It's hard to calm down when there's nails in your brain.]]
{{Topquote|I-I am going to be a storm-a flame-<br>I need to fight whole armies alone;<br>I have ten hearts; I have a hundred arms;<br>I feel too strong to war with mortals-<br>[[Rip and tear|BRING ME GIANTS]]!|Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac}}
{{Topquote|I was born in blood, raised in darkness and I shall die free!|Angron, to the Nucerian High Riders and their armies}}
{{Topquote|‘That’s because you’re free. The world can be– hnng,’ he snarled, fighting off a stabbing wave of pain from his Nails, ‘beautiful, when you finally get to see it without chains.’|Angron, to one of his companions in the break, before the last fight against the Nucerian High Riders}}

His name is Angron (A.K.A. '''The Red Angel''', '''The Slave of Nuceria''', '''40Atareus''', '''Shithead''' if you're sergeant Gharte, '''That Goddamn Retard''' if you're [[Leman Russ]], or '''That Complete Fucking Failure''' if your The emperor’s shadow.) Cmon, do we really have to spell it out? While his name may be a play on the words "Anger", it is possible that his name is based on the Greek word ''Agrion'' which means "Wild" or even ''Agron'', the Gallic word for "slaughter" (Which pretty much suits him considering he's the angriest, wildest, mother-fucking mother fucker in a long and extensive history of bipedal mother fuckers). Also, if you spell his name backwards it's Norgna, which has to count for something. Apparently the inspiration for his name was a corruption of the nickname a bouncer in Nottingham has: Angry Ron.
What we're trying to say is, Angron just might be the angriest and the most talented in manly face-to-face fighting son of a bitch in the galaxy. In fact, one time he was so angry about being angry all the time, that the part of him that made him angry exploded in his head, rendering him permanently angry (and also sexually impotent, but don't let him know that). And then there was that time he was kidnapped by the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emprah]], which didn't help his temper much, and gave him an excuse to fucking RAGE at his dad by joining up with [[Khorne]], Warhammer's God of Battle, War and [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAGE]]! Angron just so happens to be [[Primarch]] of the [[World eaters|World Eaters]] and [[Kharn|that swell guy]]. Hilariously, while you probably pictured a hulking brute reading this, he is described in fluff as one of the shortest Primachs, stooped and bald on the top of that. He is also Khorne's second most powerful champion, where he falls short to [[Doombreed]], Khorne's first ever [[Daemon Prince]]/Champion. But we can forgive him, because nobody can beat [[Genghis motherfucking Khan]].

His revered exploits include slaughtering the entire population of a planet within a night; killing an entire contingent of Eldar warriors led by a Farseer when he was only a child; and leading a gladiator rebellion against their slavers and slaughtering 25 other armies sent against them, non-stop, until a huge one made up of seven armies came and fucked their shit up against a dirty rock. The Emperor saved him from dying there (but left all his buddies to die), which was a tremendous blow to his martial pride and among other things, eventually led him to [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAGE]] furiously against the Emperor, believing him a coward devoid of honor. Angron went on to become one of the first Primarchs to side with Horus during the heresy, and was turned into a monstrous, frothing demon-prince by his brother Lorgar. Eventually, Angron joined up with KHORNE, the aforementioned God of War, Murder, Killing, Bloodshed, Weeping Buttholes, Battle and [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAGE]].

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNkRBowsAmI Here is the theme song of this glorious bastard.]

==History==
===Early Life===

Angron has good reason to be ever-so-slightly miffed: his early life was one big bowl of shit after another. First he crash-landed on his new home [[Nuceria|world]] (because Khorne didn't give him a soft landing) and had a good chunk of his head torn off in the crash, after which he got jumped by the aforementioned Eldar, then (tired from the killing and the massive brain trauma --keep in mind he was like 6 hours old) got captured and sold into slavery by people with near-Imperial level technology before making him fight as a gladiator for their entertainment.

A later retcon revealed he was a decent guy who loved his fellow gladiators, but after an incident where he refused to kill his adoptive father in the arenas, his masters proceeded to replace part of his brain with ARCHAEOTECH SHIT (originally this happened before he fully grew up) that drove him so mad that he murdered his dad regardless, cueing a massive bout of despair. The stuff they stuck in his head would later be called ''"The Butcher's Nails"'', and, though never fully understood (even after the Emprah's best techs took a look), they constantly applied pain to his brain and made it so the only time he could feel anything resembling happiness was while murdering shit. It should also be noted that they go from excruciating to normal, and ''do not'' deal with the pleasure centers of the brain.

After years of being a slave, fighting through the gladiator pits and becoming the best of them, Angron eventually set up and led a rebellion, fighting to free his brother and sister gladiators. This would make him 40k's answer to Spartacus, the same way Curze is 40k Batman. Around that time, the Emperor showed up, and hashed out a deal with the local planetary government in order to expedite Angron's capture and win over the planet without any further bloodshed, because there was no point in the Emperor helping his son win a (totally justified) war against a population that had already submitted to compliance. Of course, this deal required the Emperor to take Angron away from the only people who weren't shitty to him and leaving them all to die; but Big E didn't give a rat's ass about those fuckers (and they were all summarily executed, as you would expect in a slave rebellion). Naturally, he didn't tell Angron any of this, because <s>he couldn't give less of a shit</s> [[Aaron Dembski-Bowden]] wanted to make the Emperor look like an ass again. Daddy issues don't make for good writing, but said good writing is harder to write. Of course, the Emperor could have saved them all or simply kill the local slavers who were, despite compliance, flying in the face of the law of the Great Crusade, and take the slaves to his ship to be made into a loyal ass-wrecking rapetrain of AWESOME alongside all the Terran legionnaires. Buuuut we need our dose of our [[Edgy]] [[Grimdark]] here, right?

Back on [[Terra]], the Big E summoned [[Arkhan Land]] to his labs and showed Angron spread out with his skull hacked open & brain exposed on a a surgery table, taking a good look at Angron's fucked-up skull and decided that he was a waste of time and effort. The Butcher's Nails were quite literally destroying his brain so fast that the Mechanicus estimated that he wouldn't live long enough to see the end of the Great Crusade.

Considering that later during the Horus Heresy, '''Menes Kalliston''' of the [[Thousand Sons]] was fairly certain that their [[psyker]]-medics could figure out how to remove them from [[Khârn|a certain swell guy]], it is probable that the Emperor - being the most intelligent person in the [[Imperium]] and the most powerful psyker ever - ''<u>could</u>'' have achieved it if he put some resources into it. Considering that in "Mechanicum" he merely needed to touch a [[Imperial Knight|Knight]] to fully repair the machine the evidence does not add up. There is the possibility that the Emperor had the foresight to know that some of the Primarchs were going to betray him eventually, so he wrote Angron off as one of the bad ones without even trying. If not, then he was simply being a [[Eldrad|dick]].

===Great Crusade===
[[File:Preheresy-world-eaters.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Angron back when the Great Crusade was still a thing.]]
{{Topquote|You kept that mule Kor Phaeron. Russ kept his kin-friends. The Lion kept Luther. Humans - brothers and foster fathers - saved and raised into Legion ranks. But not me. Not Angron, no. Did the Emperor teleport his gold-wrapped Custodians down to help me and my army? No. Did he free the War Hounds and order them to battle, fight alongside me? No. Did he save my brothers and sisters the way he spared the Lion’s closest kin? No, no, and no. No mercy for Angron. Angron the Oathbreaker. Angron the Betrayer.| Angron explains his anger towards the Emperor to Lorgar, during one of his more calm moments.}}

Either way, when Angron was introduced to his legion he was inconsolable. He ended up hacking apart the legion captains until Khârn (who was actually much further down the list of command, having risen up the ladder thanks to several of his superiors' untimely ends) managed to talk some sense into his father. So, despite already writing Angron off as a broken tool the Emperor was willing to let him kill off many useful ranking officers, betting it all on the fact that a broken Primarch is still a Primarch. Though bearing in mind the Emperor had already let [[Perturabo]] dispassionately decimate 10% of an ''entire legion'', Angron killing some captains in an emotional meltdown is small potatoes.

Anyway, [[Kharn]] successfully talks some sense into him, and Angron renamed his legion ''World Eaters'', a name you might recognize translates to ''fucking savage'' in the common tongue. Angron's old army of gladiators whom he'd led to freedom and been denied death alongside them was known as "the eaters of cities" on [[Nuceria]]. So, as Dreagher, a Terran-born War Hounds legionary who served as Captain of the Legion's 9th Company, described it: ''from then on, they would no longer be the War Hounds, but Angron's "eaters of worlds"''.

Angron then replicated the Butcher's Nails technology on his legionaries, despite the Empy's warnings and how much he hated the source of the Nails, his old masters - which adds a little hypocritical spice to his complaints about how the Nails ruined his life, given that he did the same thing to other people for no fucking reason when given the chance. Perhaps Angron wanted his sons to feel the same pain he experienced since he would never be able to remove the goddamn thing from his brain and it pissed him off that his own flesh and blood did not suffer as he did. Even in spite of being the first legionary to GIT SOME, [[Kharn|that swell guy]] became Angron's 'cool headed' equerry. Ironic.

The Nails also negatively interacted with psykers, killing Librarians who tried to get them installed (blowing holes in spaceships and taking down entire squads of space marines in the process as their altered brain chemistry made it impossible for them to control their abilities anymore). Also merely being near a psyker made other Legionaries feel... ''uncomfortable'' (described as ''ticking'' by Kharn). Angron personally took this to eleven, hating psykers for the additional pain they brought - with the strange exception of Lorgar & the Emperor, who seemed not to trigger that effect. Still, the whole Butcher's Nails thing is actually quite tragic. In "Betrayer" Argel Tal asks Kharn why the World Eaters allowed themselves to be mutilated so, to which Kharn replies that they thought it would bring them closer to their father. Argel Tal continues asking if it worked, and Kharn sadly mutters to himself "no, it didn't". So, before Erebus made sure that Kharn would become the RAAAAAAGE train we know in 40k by killing Argel Tal (in the same novel), because - as Erebus put it - his damned humanity would have spared Kharn this fate (because becoming a berzerk psychopathic killer is so much more awesome than staying sane) he appears to be regretting this decision - at least at this point.

During the Great Crusade, the World Eaters were known as the Imperium's butcher force. Their arrival or even just the threat of their arrival in a system was enough to make non-compliant Imperial worlds surrender, lest they be completely and utterly be butchered by the Red Angel and his sons - which only made it easier for the World Eaters to butcher them. Angron ordered his sons to complete every single conquest and compliance action in thirty-one hours, since he and his gladiator army had once destroyed an entire city on Nuceria in the same span of time. When and if they failed, he mocked them for being inadequate and ordered them to [[Perturabo|decimate themselves]], it apparently not having occurred to him that it's a little harder to take down an entire planet than it is one city, even if you are a Space Marine legion. Things were getting so bad that some of the World Eaters' senior officers were considering going to the Emperor for help, at least until the Nails became a thing and they stopped caring about anything beyond RIP AND TEAR. One of them even talked back to Angron on the subject, which caused him to RAEG the fuck out and start killing his own sons again until some of the Librarians knocked him out.

He also had a run in with [[Leman Russ]] at some point, just after the XII Legion started getting their brains Nailed. Russ came to Angron after having heard reports that the World Eaters were increasingly just bathing in blood, instead of bringing worlds to compliance. Angron wasn't as brain-damaged as he would be later, so he asked if Russ had come on order of the Emperor. Russ grudgingly had to admit he wasn't; this wasn't an execution ordered by the Emperor (yet) and he privately didn't want it to become one in the future. So he went on saying that implanting Angron's legionaries with the Nails had to stop and that they'd be brought to Terra so a way of removing them could be devised (so he basically told Angron to sort his shit out and stop mutilating his sons). But we all know how good Russ is with people and generally <s>just liked throwing his weight around</s>. In more seriousness, this is one of the cases where Russ really, genuinely wanted to help one of his brothers, having had his own bouts with [[rage|irresistible murderous intent]] to deal with. His approach sadly [[fail|wasn't well thought out]]. Though to be fair Angron wasn't exactly diplomatic either, telling Russ that the Nails were the only thing that kept him going, that the EMPRA was just another slaver (and that bringing "compliance" to worlds was just a way of candycoating enslaving worlds which merely had wished to be left alone), and that without the Nails he might go to Big.E and chop "the slaving bastard's" head off. Ironically enough Angron had a solid point with the former argument, but the very suggestion of turning against Emps basically made Russ [[rage|lose what remained of his cool on the spot]] with the result one would expect.

There was a brief skirmish between the two Legions (an event which would come to be known as the "Night of the Wolf") where Angron fought Leman Russ in personal combat. He made him his personal bitch until he was outmaneuvered by the Space Wolves troops and surrounded, isolated from his World Eaters who were just like their father putting up one hell of a fight and hurt on the Wolves but being slowly separated and isolated from each other. Russ then tried to make his point a second time; that Angron's berzerker rage made him and his Legion lose sight of the larger tactical and strategic objectives and that Russ had lured him into a position where he would be killed. Angron refused to acknowledge his losing position since he was the one holding the weapon at his brother's throat and that killing EVERYONE should be the only objective anyway. Russ might be very well holding the proverbial gun to his temple, but it was only worth anything if he was willing to pull the trigger. Which at that point Russ wasn't, so Angron completely ignored him. Yet, surprisingly, Angron did not press his attack either and both Primarchs separated and went their own way.

Angron was certain of his victory that day and didn't give the incident any more thought, the Nails stayed with him and his Legion. In the end, though, Leman Russ was right: Angron's failure to learn and control his murderous rage would be amply demonstrated and only become worse with time. At the tail end of the Great Crusade when he butchered a whole city which had just surrendered, on Isstvan III when he sabotaged Horus' clean [[Exterminatus]] by going down to rip the loyalists apart personally, and on Nuceria where he ordered every living being killed. But what’s truly sad is that Lorgar actually did seemingly succeed where Russ had failed in teaching the lesson of the Night of the Wolf years later, and on their way to Nuceria, during Angron’s last weeks as a human, he actually seemed to be trying to open himself up a little more to his legion by joining them in watching pit fights and hanging out with them during feasts, all of which was rendered too little too late by what went down when they reached their destination.

===Horus Heresy===
[[File:Daemon-Angron HHST.png|400px|thumb|right|Angron during the [[Siege of Terra]], about to give the defenders a very bad day]]
On which note, Angron kicked off his contribution to the Heresy in a way that had Horus' lieutenants suggest killing him. When the firestorm on Isstvan died down, it became apparent that large numbers of Loyalists had survived. Said survivors immediately hit the vox-casters and began demanding answers/hurling insults up at the orbiting fleet, outraged and grief stricken that they had been betrayed by their own Primarchs. Hearing the howled insults of his own Loyalist World Eaters, Angron flew into a rage and ordered his legion to deploy onto the planet. This meant that Horus couldn't just bombard the city again, and committed the Traitors to fighting a long, brutal campaign which delayed them and sapped their numbers.

He was much handier on Isstvan V, wreaking all sorts of carnage in the [[Dropsite Massacre]]. He stayed behind to hunt down the surviving Raven Guard who'd escaped with their Primarch, and would have massacred them if not for their reserves rocking up from Deliverance.

Lorgar then roped Angron into his Shadow Crusade, systematically butchering worlds across Ultramar to invoke the Ruinstorm. Initially, this was a campaign with mixed success: the two Legions nearly fought in the void before an Eldar fleet tried to destroy Angron, and the World Eaters wiped out several worlds which Lorgar had wanted to skip. The Word Bearers were nearly driven to despair by the World Eaters' degradation, and Lorgar began to worry that Angron couldn't see how he was degenerating - and there was only one way that could end. Still, Lorgar wanted to save Angron, although in his case "save" meant "transfigure into a daemon Primarch". Angron was, according to Horus and Lorgar, the only Primarch (beside Horus himself) that would be able to successfully take on and beat Sanguinius in full rage mode. To do that, Lorgar led Angron back to his shitty home planet [[Nuceria]] where Angron went into a deep depression after witness the tragic aftermath of his rebellion. And that lasted until he had the misfortune to be told he had fled that final battle, which made him go completely berserk, ordering his legion to slaughter every fucking thing on the planet faster than an [[Exterminatus|inquisitoral cyclonic torpedoes bombardment]].

The arrival of Guilliman's forces delayed its inevitable doom for a little while, and Angron had an epic showdown with [[Roboute Guilliman]] when he helped [[Lorgar]] fighting big boy blue. Guilliman called Angron out to which the Red Angel replied as follows:

<blockquote>''"What would you know of struggle, Perfect Son? When have you fought against the mutilation of your mind? When have you had to do anything more than tally compliances and polish your armour?" [...] "The people of your world named you Great One. The people of mine called me Slave. Which one of us landed on a paradise of civilization to be raised by a foster father, Roboute? Which one of us was given armies to lead after training in the halls of the Macraggian high-riders? Which one of us inherited a strong, cultured kingdom? And which one of us had to rise up against a kingdom with nothing but a horde of starving slaves? Which one of us was a child enslaved on a world of monsters, with his brain cut up by carving knives? Listen to your blue-clad wretches yelling of courage and honour, courage and honour, courage and honour. Do you even know the meaning of those words? Courage is fighting the kingdom which enslaves you, no matter that their armies outnumber yours by ten-thousand to one. You know nothing of courage. Honour is resisting a tyrant when all others suckle and grow fat on the hypocrisy he feeds them. You know nothing of honour."''</blockquote>

Choke on deez nuts, Papa Smurf. Guilliman ended up getting beaten so badly he had to crawl away on hands and knees, but not before throwing back:

<blockquote>''"You’re still a slave, Angron. Enslaved by your past, blind to the future. Too hateful to learn. Too spiteful to prosper."''</blockquote>

The irony is Angron was right all along about Emperor being a dick, as Roboute realized on Terra ten thousand years later. But in all seriousness, both of them had a point. Guilliman had it really easy and could have turned out massively different had his life not been so cushy, while Angron's rage over ''his'' admittedly-shitty life had consumed his soul and didn't exactly let him off the hook for turning his entire legion into murder machines.

Furthermore, during their duel Guilliman shattered one of the skulls that Angron had carried on him, which were the remains of the rebels Angron had carried with him (and whom he had promised to die alongside with... until the EMPRA abducted him. Angron himself said to Lorgar in "Betrayer" that he died on Nuceria), which obviously drove Angron to an entire new level of despair, allowing for Lorgar to capitalize on that emotion to fuel Angron's ascension into a daemon primarch. There were even 19 World Eater librarians, that had tried to prevent their primarch's ascension forming a gestalt warhound, pulling Angron's soul from one end, while Lorgar as well as some daemons pulled at it from the other, like children fighting over a doll. In the end, Lorgar - being the more powerful psyker - defeated the librarians, and turned Angron into the Daemon Primarch we all know and love. Guilliman ended up suffering a grievous wound, but escaped the planet, which was rendered devoid of all life by the World Eaters, and had its records erased by the Imperium of Man.

It should also be noted that one or two battles beforehand a Warhound Scout Titan tried to step on Lorgar after the Aurelian had taken two discharges of the the titan's main plasma weapon and was badly hurt (to the point of almost being mortally wounded) in the process. Angron stepped in to save his brother, catching the titan's foot and setting a new world record in squat weightlifting, keeping the titans weight suspended above himself through his sheer strength and RAGE, enabling Lorgar - who was almost dead at this point - to escape. And this was after digging his way up through 200+ feet of solid debris, after being warned by WE Librarians he had been digging 'downwards', and with Lorgar teleporting from orbit to help excavating the XIIth Primach (while Lorgar simultaneously destroyed several Ultramarine Thunderhawks with telekinetically hurled building debris which Angron had been buried under). Of course, after this the relationship between the two primarchs became pretty remarkable, and Lorgar ended up repaying the favor by arranging for Angron's ascension to daemonhood during their fight with Guilliman. At first Lorgar thought that Guilliman was ruining the "song" and finally understood that Guilliman had never hated or looked down on him until the Heresy (and the destruction of Calth) - actually distracting Lorgar for a moment as he realized that he had misunderstood his brother all along - At the end though, when Guilliman was about to gain the upper hand Angron emerged and engaged the XIII Primarch. At this very moment (topped off by Guilliman stepping on one of the aforementioned skulls) the "song" fell back in tune, and Lorgar could finish the incantation.

After Angron's ascension, he was even more the uncontrollable rage monster that he had always been and still hacked his way through the occasional officer that got on the wrong side of him. So the World Eaters locked him up on his flagship while they wondered what to do with him, which caused all the sorts of changes you'd expect by locking a roaring daemon up in the basement. Kharn visited his father during a lucid moment to try and get some sense out of him, having to remind his father of the red sands of Deshea and the gladiator he used to be. But Angron had already lost so much of his sense of self to [[Khorne]] that he did not even recognise the Legion as his own anymore, warning Kharn that the only way to continue serving him was to follow him down the same path. What's more was that as a daemon-Primarch, his grasp on reality was tenuous so the legion could only continue to keep their father in constant combat to ensure that he remained with them, forcing them to divert their forces towards literally any inhabited system to continue fighting and keeping the flow of blood going. Kharn ''(and presumably the rest of the legion)'' start losing themselves soon after.

===41st Millennium===
[[Image:Angrondemon.jpg|300px|thumb|Even in daemonhood, they ''still'' can't get the Nails out. Fucking Archeotech was built to ''last''!]]
Angron has done far more shit than all the other Daemon Primarchs put together. Instead of [[Fulgrim|sitting around being a painting on some Chaos God's wall]], [[Mortarion|sitting around while being a rotting fatass and feeling sorry for themselves]], [[Magnus the Red|sitting around and yelling just as planned anytime anything happens]], [[Lorgar|sitting around and preaching constantly]], [[Horus|being]] [[Alpharius|(Maybe)]] [[Konrad Curze|dead]], or [[Primarch#Two Missing Primarchs|being missing]]; Angron actually gets shit done and boy howdy when he [[rage|rages]] his way out of the eye of terror he makes sure that everyone knows about it...by tearing ''everything'' that gets in his way a new one until he finally gets thrown back into the warp by drowning in a quadrillion metric fucktons of [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Guardsmen]], [[Planetary Defense Force | Planetary Defense Force soldiers]], [[Space Marines|Spehss Mehreens]], [[Witch Hunters]], [[Sisters of Battle|Bolter Bitches]], [[Titan|Titans]], [[Stormtrooper|Inquisitorial Stormtroopers]], [[Daemonhunters]], and [[Grey Knights]], but to be fair, everyone kind of does that when the Imperium <strike>finishes the paperwork needed to</strike> retaliates.

This was of course before The Gathering Storm, whereupon Magnus personally attacked [[Fenris]] and laid waste to much of the planet and destroyed a lot of gene-seed, proving that [[Tzeentch]] can get shit done too. Then in 8th edition Mortarion waged [[Plague Wars]] against [[Ultramar]] and established the [[Scourge Stars]] systems in M42. Also it should be noted that Fulgrim has been free of that painting for a while now, but otherwise he still fits in the above category.

He also slaughtered his way throughout Imperial Space for over a century with 50,000 World Eater [[Berserker]]s and destroyed/maimed/killed/burned/broke the backs of/split open/fucked 70 sectors. However, in a subsequent Imperial offensive, Angron was banished to the warp and his men routed. This strike force comprised 2 Titan Legions, ''only'' 4 full Spess Mehreen chapters and over 30 Imperial Guard regiments to do that, so it's suffice to say that the counterattack put up quite a fight against the superior force. But to be fair, Angron's force was only comprised of close combat heavy infantry without ranged support or artillery. Later on, he showed up with an even bigger force to attack Armageddon. The Imperium responded in kind, sending in one hundred [[Grey Knights|Grey Knight Terminators]], and all but ten of them died fighting Angron and his Bloodthirster posse(and only because their prodigy Librarian Hyperion managed to shatter his sword, and he STILL managed to murder their leader with just his bare fists). He is armed with a really huge fucking chainaxe that's taller than him with chainswords for the chainteeth of the chainaxe. He's also got a stormbolter, but we wouldn't be surprised if that fired chainswords as well. Fittingly enough, it was called 'Godtearer'.

==In video games==

Unfortunately, he has appeared in only one of the official games, which greatly displeases [[Khorne]]. However, in the Ultimate Apocalypse mod for [[Dawn of War]], he takes the place of the Chaos Daemons' "game-ending win button" unit - and he's a walking rapetrain that can [[Awesome|obliterate buildings with a single hit, take out Titans in three, make himself invincible, and summon a retinue of Bloodthirsters]]. He can also be almost unkillable by exploiting a bug which lets him instantly refill his morale, which gives him disturbingly fast health regeneration. Too bad you'll almost never use him. He costs so many relic points in an army that consumes them like candy that, if you can spare the points and time to conjure him, chances are you're already winning so badly you don't actually need him. Seriously, for the same number of points it takes to conjure Angron you could just build 5-6 Helldrakes or an equal amount of Bloodthirsters, and keep in mind Chaos Daemons need the same resource for anything greater than lesser Daemons. If you're not spending them on other units you need ''right now'' then you can just overwhelm them with what you already have. Essentially the definition of "awesome but impractical", but sweet jesus is it truly awesome to watch.

Angron shows up in the Horus Heresy:Legions card game, being one of the best warlords, and keeping in with his character he has to attack every turn.

==On the tabletop==

===Heresy===
{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || I || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Angron:''' || 400 || 9 || 5 || 7 || 6 || 5 || 7 || 6(10) || 10 || 3+/4++
|}

Obviously one of the strongest Primarchs in the game when things come to HtH, Angron has a 3+ armor (weak for a demigod), 4+ invulnerable, FNP (the full rule since the 02/11/2019 errata), the Primarch rule, 5 wounds and T6. On the charge he has 7 S9 attacks (6 S8 normally) at WS9 with Hatred, so he gets to reroll to-hit rolls on the first turn of any combat, while also having Armourbane and dealing Instant Death on to wound roll of 6, in case S8-9 doesn't instagib anything right away. Thanks to the Butcher's Nail he will gain 1 bonus attack, up to 10 total attacks, for every Independent Character or Infantry unit he kills/destroys in close combat (But he must be the one to give the fatal blow/remove the last model to pick up this bonus) and he can also challenge as many times as there are Independent Characters and units in combat with him thanks to the Red Sands rule, assuring he will at least pick some extra attacks during the course of the game.

The obvious downsides are that, aside from butchering things in melee, Angron cannot do anything: he doesn't buff his army in any way aside 12" aura of Fearless, while other Primarchs bestow significant buffs to their armies, and of course he is one of the (if not THE) most fragile of the Primarchs, having only 5 wounds and 3+/4++. Having FNP 5+ doesn't fully compensate against mass fire but makes him actually more resilient than most of his brothers against AP2 attacks. So all in all he's much like Kharn on steroids: you reach melee - you're king, you get your transport blown up and then get kited across the table - you're fucked. The other problem he shares with Kharn is that he tends to annihilate anything he charges in one phase either through sweeping advance or just by killing everyone outright, which leaves him vulnerable to enemy fire afterwards.

Honestly, he's not worth it. Between his fragility, low mobility, and lack of army bonuses, he's a tricky Primarch to use. Unfortunate considering his badass fluff.

===40k===
He had stats from an old issue of [[White Dwarf]] that makes him a 500 point walking rapemachine who makes [[Abaddon]] the Despoiler and [[Mephiston]] look like total pussies, but you have to get him a bodyguard of at least 2-12 [[Bloodthirster|bloodthirsters]], which effectively racks up his point cost to over 1300 at the least. But with his mandatory bloodthirster bodyguard he can even kill An'ggrath, the biggest and baddest bloodthirster of them all. But they would never fight in canon because An'ggrath is one of the only entities in the universe that Angron respects due to An'ggrath's equal capacity for [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!]]...<strike>oh and Khorne says his champions can't fight each other because despite being balls-to-the-wall angry, Khorne knows well enough that the more champions he has on his side, the more blood spilled on his behalf. Thus, offing one of his champs is counter-productive since he's losing more than he's eventually gaining.</strike> That sounds like the prissy rationale of someone who's philosophizing when they could be killing! Blood for the Blood God!

With the looming release of 8th Edition, there's a very good chance that Daemon Angron could be getting an actual model and updated stats before long, especially with the news that Armageddon is gonna be playing host to a massive horde of Khornate Daemons called the Blood Crusade. ''You just know'' that Angron is gonna be leading that, back for round 2. After Magnus and the imminent release of Mortarion, Angron and Fulgrim, being the other aligned daemon Primarchs, are strong contenders for release sometime in the next 12 months.

*Still waiting GW. Angron didn't show up to Armageddon, and he didn't show up to Terra, but we know he's coming.
*It is now the eve of 9th edition, and Angron still has not arrived, nor has Fulgrim
*A new excerpt published at the ninth edition release suggests Angron is coming back to Armageddon for a Boogaloo of apocalyptic proportions

==Angron VS other Primarchs:==
<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">
Primarch fighting, while fun to see, isn't a very competitive thing to do as it'll usually tie up both Primarchs for the entire game without either of them dying (But with Angron this is less likely as you're going to die or kill fast!), with that in mind this section is about how Angron fares against other Primarchs Mathhammer wise. Please note that all the various abilities are taken into accounts when possible and the match-ups assume the Primarchs are the only ones involved in the fighting, so various abilities like Angron's "The Butcher's Nails" and Rampage do not provide any bonuses. The fights are supposed to be in a vacuum for simplicity (So no Furious Charge for our hero...), but notes are added to make things clearer in particular instances. Also all of the Primarchs use their most powerful weapons (because why have a contest if you don't do your best?)
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">

* Angron VS Horus
**Horus turn 1 & 2: hits 3 times, wounds 2.667 times, 0.888 after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.555 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Horus (with Angron wounded twice): hits 3.999 times, wounds 3.555 times, causes 1.185 wounds after saves & FNP, taken to 0.851 with IWND at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 1.48 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.148.
**Angron Wounded: hits 3 times, wounds 1.999 times, 0.666 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Despite a good showing in the first round; when factoring in Disabling Strike the whole thing becomes academic; Horus overtakes Angron in damage capacity after one wound (<2 turns) and quickly beats Angron to a pulp as Angron continues to flail feebly.

* Angron vs Fulgrim
**Fulgrim hits 3.5 times, wounds 2.333 times (2.722 times if his warlord trait is Child of Terra), 1.166 (1.361) times after saves, 0.971 (1.134) after Feel No Pain (remember that half of the attacks that wound cause Instant Death) and IWND will take that down to 0.638 (0.801) wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 1.48 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.148.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.111 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.778 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**A really close fight: Angron does marginally more damage if Fulgrim doesn't chose Child of Terra as his Warlord Trait. With Child of Terra it becomes a battle of attrition that Angron will eventually lose. If Angron gets blinded at any point due to Fulgrim's Gilded Panoply it puts him at a disadvantage he likely wont recover from.

* Angron VS Ferrus
**Ferrus hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.083 times, 0.694 times after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.361 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.185 after saves, and IWND take it down to 0.852.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 0.889 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.556 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Thanks to his upgraded Feel No Pain, Angron can tank more than Ferrus can, resulting in a win.

* Angron VS Konrad Curze
**Curze hits 3 times, wounds 2.25 times, 0.750 wounds after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.417 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 2.222 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.889.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron easily wins, doing a lot more damage and receiving less in turn.
**Note: Curze can Hit & Run, but by doing so he would only gain one more attack, while allowing Angron to reset his Hatred, thus actually making himself die even faster.

* Angron VS Vulkan
**Vulkan hits 2 times, wounds 1.666 times, 0.833 wounds after saves (ID Negates FNP) and IWND will take that down to 0.5 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.185 after saves, and IWND take it down to 0.63.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 0.889 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Vulkan wins (barely). This fight is actually much closer what the simplified maths suggest. Since IWND only comes into affect on the controlling players turn ''(two rounds of combat)'' Each combatant gets their damage output twice before IWND kicks in, so Vulkan's legendary endurance nearly fails him by the second bout of combat on turn four, possibly resulting in a mutual kill.

* Angron vs Mortarion
**Mortarion hits 2.5 times, wounds 1.666 times, 0.833 times after saves (no FNP due to Instant Death) and IWND will take that down to 0.5 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.777 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.222.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 1.333 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.778 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Mortarion loses. Despite having the same reroll on IWND and doing the same damage per turn as Vulkan; even with one extra wound Mortarion's poorer save allows Angron to take him down more quickly.

* Angron VS Lorgar
**Lorgar hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.083 times, 0.694 after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that to 0.361 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 4 times, wounds 3.111 times, 1.555 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.222.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron wins pretty easily.
**Note: against Lorgar Transfigured with Precognition Lorgar wins (Not as easily as the old version, but is still a monster).

*Angron VS Perturabo
**Perturabo hits 2 times, wounds 1.667 times, 0.555 wounds after saves and FNP, then IWND will take that down to 0.222 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 1.48 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.148.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.111 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.778 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron wins.
**Note: in the turn after Perturabo actually wounds Angron (69% per round) he will most probably be blinded and then hammered to death. So if he can't kill him before that he is actually dead meat.

* Angron VS Alpharius
**Alpharius hits 2.917 times, wounds 1.7 times, 0.85 wounds after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.517 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 2.222 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.889.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**As with Vulkan, Angron can't use FNP in this fight due to the Pale Spear's Instant Death, but he still easily takes the win.

* Angron VS Rogal Dorn
**Dorn hits 2 times, wounds 1.5 times, 0.499 wounds after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.167 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Dorn (Sundering Blow) hits once, wounds 0.972 times, 0.486 wounds after saves (No FNP due to Instant Death), taken to 0.152 at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.777 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.444.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 2.667 times, 1.333 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**This is probably Angron's easiest fight.
**Note: Sundering Blow cancels out Feel No Pain so it was worth calculating. Turns out it makes no difference here; Dorn has too few attacks to make a difference either way.

* Angron VS Corvus Corax
**Corvus hits 4 times (Scourge)/3 times (Shadow-walk), wounds 3 times (Scourge)/2.25 times (Shadow-walk), 0.999 wounds (Scourge)/0.750 wounds (Shadow-walk) after saves and FNP and IWND will take that down to 0.666/0.417 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333/4.5 times, wounds 4.444/3.75 times, 2.963/2.5 after saves, and IWND take it down to 2.63/2.167.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4/3 times, wounds 3.333/2.5 times, 2.222/1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.889/1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron wins really easily as Corax is simply too frail for him.
**Note: differently from Curze, Corax would actually have the edge on the charge thanks to his Sire of the Raven Guard rule and his Hammer of Wrath/dual Archeotech Pistols. Also in a turn in which blind goes off he could have the advantage of Shadow-walk and scourge at the same times (plus more, 'cause he would hit on 3s). A tough fight, but more on his style and it could make him win in extremis.

* Angron VS Roboute Guilliman
**Angron Round 1: Angron has Hatred, so on the first turn he will hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 2.222 after saves, 1.972 after Armour of Reason re-roll and IWND take it down to 1.639.
**Angron Round 2: Angron hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves, 1.417 after re-roll and IWND will take that down to 1.084 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 3 and thereafter: Angron hits 3 times, wounds 2.5 times, 1.25 after saves and 1 after re-roll. Then IWND take it down to 0.667.
**Guilliman Round 1/2/3: hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.222 times, 0.741 times after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.407 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 4 and thereafter: hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.963 times, 0.987 times after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.654 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Unsurprisingly, Guilliman loses this fight.

*Angron vs Magnus
**Angron first round: hits 4.5 times, wounds 3.75 times and 1.875 after saves which IWND will take down to 1.542 at the start of next turn
**Angron second round: hits 3 times, wounds 2.5 times and 1.25 after saves which IWND will take down to 0.917 at the start of next turn
**Magnus: hits twice, wounds 1.667 times, reducing to 0.557 after saves & FNP. Then IWND will take down to 0.222 at the start of next turn
**Magnus (using Force): hits twice, wounds 1.667, reduces to 0.834 after saves. IWND brings this to 0.5 at the start of the next turn.
**Psychic powers normally don't get included in the PvP breakdowns, but Magnus is the only one with a Force Weapon so it was worth mentioning. Either way you look at it, Magnus loses this one pretty badly. Things would obviously be different if other powers were included.
**As with psychic powers in general in 30k, this fight is really swingy based on what powers Magnus takes. If he can roll Iron arm and Warp speed with a power left to generate then he could take Prescience to actually gain a decent chance of winning. At the same time he could also have a tough time in power generation and get squished.

*Angron VS Leman Russ
**Angron Round 1: Angron has Hatred and is hitting on a 5+, so he hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.778 times, invul save brings it down to 1.389 and IWND brings it to 1.056 wounds.
**Angron Round 2 and on: Angron is hitting on 5s, so hits 2 times, wounds 1.666 times, saves brings it down to .833 and IWND brings it 0.5
**Leman hits Angron 3.214 times, wounds 2.678 times, save brings it down to 1.339, FNP brings it 0.892 and IWND brings it down 0.559
**As expected Angron loses this fight. Angron puts up a reasonable fight but the wolf king is just much for him.
**TLDR: Without the Sword of Balelight, the fight is very close. Sword of Balelight is pretty busted.

* Angron VS Jaghatai
**Jaghatai (on Bike) hits 4 times, wounds 2 times, 1 wounds after saves and FNP will take that down to 0.666 and IWND will take that down to 0.333
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.185 wounds after saves, and IWND take it down to 0.852 at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 0.888 wounds after saves, IWND will take that down to 0.556 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angrons wins, and if Jaghatai uses hit-and-run he'll get destroyed even faster.

* Angron vs Sanguinius
**Sanguinius charging: hits 4 times (3.5 times with Blade Encarmine), wounds 3.999 times (double wounds taken into account) (3.111 with Encarmine), becomes 1.999 (1.037 with Encarmine & FNP) after saves
***Sanguinius Hammer of Wrath: 1 autohit, wounds 0.833 times, becomes 0.277 after saves and FNP.
***Total combined damage on charge 2.276 (1.314), taken to 1.944 (0.981) next turn with IWND
**Sanguinius thereafter: hits 3.5 times (3 times with Blade Encarmine), wounds 2.333 times (double wounds taken into account)(2.666 with Encarmine), taken to 1.166 after saves (0.888 with Encarmine + FNP), taken to 0.8333 (0.555) next turn with IWND
**Angron Round 1: hits 4.5 times, wounds 3.75 times, becomes 1.875 after saves (0.938 if Sanguinius charged). IWND takes it to 1.54 (0.604) next turn
**Angron thereafter: hits 3 times, wounds 2.5 times, becomes 1.25 after saves and IWND takes it to 0.917 next turn
***There is a lot going on with this fight depending on what Sanguinius is doing. With the Spear of Telesto, from a standing start or if Angron charges there is a mutual kill by about the fifth bout of combat. If Sanguinius can get the charge he wins.
***With the Blade Encarmine there is a close mutual kill if Sanguinius charges, but Angron wins from a standing start or if he charges. Feel No Pain really makes the difference.

* TLDR version: Despite being mocked for ''only'' having 3+/4++ in saves and fewer wounds than everyone but Lorgar (or Corax on a bad day), Angron is surprisingly resilient thanks to his FNP(5+). He will outpace most opponents thanks to his high number of attacks and good WS, so those who can't match his output turn-for-turn can only hope to outlast him. Angron is pretty vulnerable to Strikedown, Concussive, Blind, and basically any rule which reduces his ability to hit things ''(eg: Horus & Russ)'', all of which will severely cripple his overall damage potential. Keep in mind, as mentioned above, this is without any benefits from his The Butcher's Nails rule. With his attacks maxed out he can destroy almost any other Primarch (even Lorgar with Precognition, though it is damn close) with the exception of a few like Russ and...yeah, you guessed it right: Horus! Although he will surely put a dent even in the Warmaster.
</div></div>

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Past-Angron-art.jpg| You'd be pissed off too if your dad didn't let you avenge your dog.
File:Past-Angron.jpg|
Doomguy called he wants his training uniform back, and he wants your head with it.
File:Angaron.jpg|WHY IS HE BEATING UP HIS OWN LEGION said everyone on Isstvan III. Proof that Angron was actually a Loyalist Primarch. Don't believe the Chaos Lies!
File:Angron.jpg|Can [[Anime|Vegeta]] say what his power level is?
File:Angron Butchers Nails.jpg|Angron before Daemonhood. The only real difference is a lack of wings.
File:Aerion's Angron.jpg|Angron portrayed in his natural state: PISSED THE FUCK OFF!
File:Angron by alexboca-d7930i6.jpg|Angron just generally being a boss (and looking absolutely goddamn awesome while doing so). And you call the epic ness that he wears "3+" greatly displeases khorne and teh emprah
File:angron_is_for_angry_by_sunradio-d6oferw.jpg|Daemon Primarch Angron at the final battle of the First war of Armageddon.
File:Happy angron.jpg|Angron can be happy too!
</gallery>

==See Also==
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKPVNaKvODw&t=0s| They hit him with a truck!]

----
Angron also supposedly wrote some stuff called the Clotted Scrolls. What this means is unknown

{{Primarchs}}
{{Daemons-Characters}}

[[category:Chaos]]

Angron

2020-07-26T22:34:30Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:748C:B105:AA91:7BA4:

{{heresy}}
{{Cleanup}}
[[File:World Eaters.jpg|400px|thumb|right|Angron and his World Eaters, pre-heresy and pre-[[daemon prince]] in a rare state of tranquility standing on top of [[grimdark|a pile made of snow and dead bodies]]. It's hard to calm down when there's nails in your brain.]]
{{Topquote|I-I am going to be a storm-a flame-<br>I need to fight whole armies alone;<br>I have ten hearts; I have a hundred arms;<br>I feel too strong to war with mortals-<br>[[Rip and tear|BRING ME GIANTS]]!|Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac}}
{{Topquote|I was born in blood, raised in darkness and I shall die free!|Angron, to the Nucerian High Riders and their armies}}
{{Topquote|‘That’s because you’re free. The world can be– hnng,’ he snarled, fighting off a stabbing wave of pain from his Nails, ‘beautiful, when you finally get to see it without chains.’|Angron, to one of his companions in the break, before the last fight against the Nucerian High Riders}}

His name is Angron (A.K.A. '''The Red Angel''', '''The Slave of Nuceria''', '''40Atareus''', '''Shithead''' if you're sergeant Gharte, '''That Goddamn Retard''' if you're [[Leman Russ]], or '''That Complete Fucking Failure''' if your The emperor’s shadow.) Cmon, do we really have to spell it out? While his name may be a play on the words "Anger", it is possible that his name is based on the Greek word ''Agrion'' which means "Wild" or even ''Agron'', the Gallic word for "slaughter" (Which pretty much suits him considering he's the angriest, wildest, mother-fucking mother fucker in a long and extensive history of bipedal mother fuckers). Also, if you spell his name backwards it's Norgna, which has to count for something. Apparently the inspiration for his name was a corruption of the nickname a bouncer in Nottingham has: Angry Ron.
What we're trying to say is, Angron just might be the angriest and the most talented in manly face-to-face fighting son of a bitch in the galaxy. In fact, one time he was so angry about being angry all the time, that the part of him that made him angry exploded in his head, rendering him permanently angry (and also sexually impotent, but don't let him know that). And then there was that time he was kidnapped by the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emprah]], which didn't help his temper much, and gave him an excuse to fucking RAGE at his dad by joining up with [[Khorne]], Warhammer's God of Battle, War and [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAGE]]! Angron just so happens to be [[Primarch]] of the [[World eaters|World Eaters]] and [[Kharn|that swell guy]]. Hilariously, while you probably pictured a hulking brute reading this, he is described in fluff as one of the shortest Primachs, stooped and bald on the top of that. He is also Khorne's second most powerful champion, where he falls short to [[Doombreed]], Khorne's first ever [[Daemon Prince]]/Champion. But we can forgive him, because nobody can beat [[Genghis motherfucking Khan]].

His revered exploits include slaughtering the entire population of a planet within a night; killing an entire contingent of Eldar warriors led by a Farseer when he was only a child; and leading a gladiator rebellion against their slavers and slaughtering 25 other armies sent against them, non-stop, until a huge one made up of seven armies came and fucked their shit up against a dirty rock. The Emperor saved him from dying there (but left all his buddies to die), which was a tremendous blow to his martial pride and among other things, eventually led him to [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAGE]] furiously against the Emperor, believing him a coward devoid of honor. Angron went on to become one of the first Primarchs to side with Horus during the heresy, and was turned into a monstrous, frothing demon-prince by his brother Lorgar. Eventually, Angron joined up with KHORNE, the aforementioned God of War, Murder, Killing, Bloodshed, Weeping Buttholes, Battle and [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAGE]].

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNkRBowsAmI Here is the theme song of this glorious bastard.]

==History==
===Early Life===

Angron has good reason to be ever-so-slightly miffed: his early life was one big bowl of shit after another. First he crash-landed on his new home [[Nuceria|world]] (because Khorne didn't give him a soft landing) and had a good chunk of his head torn off in the crash, after which he got jumped by the aforementioned Eldar, then (tired from the killing and the massive brain trauma --keep in mind he was like 6 hours old) got captured and sold into slavery by people with near-Imperial level technology before making him fight as a gladiator for their entertainment.

A later retcon revealed he was a decent guy who loved his fellow gladiators, but after an incident where he refused to kill his adoptive father in the arenas, his masters proceeded to replace part of his brain with ARCHAEOTECH SHIT (originally this happened before he fully grew up) that drove him so mad that he murdered his dad regardless, cueing a massive bout of despair. The stuff they stuck in his head would later be called ''"The Butcher's Nails"'', and, though never fully understood (even after the Emprah's best techs took a look), they constantly applied pain to his brain and made it so the only time he could feel anything resembling happiness was while murdering shit. It should also be noted that they go from excruciating to normal, and ''do not'' deal with the pleasure centers of the brain.

After years of being a slave, fighting through the gladiator pits and becoming the best of them, Angron eventually set up and led a rebellion, fighting to free his brother and sister gladiators. This would make him 40k's answer to Spartacus, the same way Curze is 40k Batman. Around that time, the Emperor showed up, and hashed out a deal with the local planetary government in order to expedite Angron's capture and win over the planet without any further bloodshed, because there was no point in the Emperor helping his son win a (totally justified) war against a population that had already submitted to compliance. Of course, this deal required the Emperor to take Angron away from the only people who weren't shitty to him and leaving them all to die; but Big E didn't give a rat's ass about those fuckers (and they were all summarily executed, as you would expect in a slave rebellion). Naturally, he didn't tell Angron any of this, because <s>he couldn't give less of a shit</s> [[Aaron Dembski-Bowden]] wanted to make the Emperor look like an ass again. Daddy issues don't make for good writing, but said good writing is harder to write. Of course, the Emperor could have saved them all or simply kill the local slavers who were, despite compliance, flying in the face of the law of the Great Crusade, and take the slaves to his ship to be made into a loyal ass-wrecking rapetrain of AWESOME alongside all the Terran legionnaires. Buuuut we need our dose of our [[Edgy]] [[Grimdark]] here, right?

Back on [[Terra]], the Big E summoned [[Arkhan Land]] to his labs and showed Angron spread out with his skull hacked open & brain exposed on a a surgery table, taking a good look at Angron's fucked-up skull and decided that he was a waste of time and effort. The Butcher's Nails were quite literally destroying his brain so fast that the Mechanicus estimated that he wouldn't live long enough to see the end of the Great Crusade.

Considering that later during the Horus Heresy, '''Menes Kalliston''' of the [[Thousand Sons]] was fairly certain that their [[psyker]]-medics could figure out how to remove them from [[Khârn|a certain swell guy]], it is probable that the Emperor - being the most intelligent person in the [[Imperium]] and the most powerful psyker ever - ''<u>could</u>'' have achieved it if he put some resources into it. Considering that in "Mechanicum" he merely needed to touch a [[Imperial Knight|Knight]] to fully repair the machine the evidence does not add up. There is the possibility that the Emperor had the foresight to know that some of the Primarchs were going to betray him eventually, so he wrote Angron off as one of the bad ones without even trying. If not, then he was simply being a [[Eldrad|dick]].

===Great Crusade===
[[File:Preheresy-world-eaters.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Angron back when the Great Crusade was still a thing.]]
{{Topquote|You kept that mule Kor Phaeron. Russ kept his kin-friends. The Lion kept Luther. Humans - brothers and foster fathers - saved and raised into Legion ranks. But not me. Not Angron, no. Did the Emperor teleport his gold-wrapped Custodians down to help me and my army? No. Did he free the War Hounds and order them to battle, fight alongside me? No. Did he save my brothers and sisters the way he spared the Lion’s closest kin? No, no, and no. No mercy for Angron. Angron the Oathbreaker. Angron the Betrayer.| Angron explains his anger towards the Emperor to Lorgar, during one of his more calm moments.}}

Either way, when Angron was introduced to his legion he was inconsolable. He ended up hacking apart the legion captains until Khârn (who was actually much further down the list of command, having risen up the ladder thanks to several of his superiors' untimely ends) managed to talk some sense into his father. So, despite already writing Angron off as a broken tool the Emperor was willing to let him kill off many useful ranking officers, betting it all on the fact that a broken Primarch is still a Primarch. Though bearing in mind the Emperor had already let [[Perturabo]] dispassionately decimate 10% of an ''entire legion'', Angron killing some captains in an emotional meltdown is small potatoes.

Anyway, [[Kharn]] successfully talks some sense into him, and Angron renamed his legion ''World Eaters'', a name you might recognize translates to ''fucking savage'' in the common tongue. Angron's old army of gladiators whom he'd led to freedom and been denied death alongside them was known as "the eaters of cities" on [[Nuceria]]. So, as Dreagher, a Terran-born War Hounds legionary who served as Captain of the Legion's 9th Company, described it: ''from then on, they would no longer be the War Hounds, but Angron's "eaters of worlds"''.

Angron then replicated the Butcher's Nails technology on his legionaries, despite the Empy's warnings and how much he hated the source of the Nails, his old masters - which adds a little hypocritical spice to his complaints about how the Nails ruined his life, given that he did the same thing to other people for no fucking reason when given the chance. Perhaps Angron wanted his sons to feel the same pain he experienced since he would never be able to remove the goddamn thing from his brain and it pissed him off that his own flesh and blood did not suffer as he did. Even in spite of being the first legionary to GIT SOME, [[Kharn|that swell guy]] became Angron's 'cool headed' equerry. Ironic.

The Nails also negatively interacted with psykers, killing Librarians who tried to get them installed (blowing holes in spaceships and taking down entire squads of space marines in the process as their altered brain chemistry made it impossible for them to control their abilities anymore). Also merely being near a psyker made other Legionaries feel... ''uncomfortable'' (described as ''ticking'' by Kharn). Angron personally took this to eleven, hating psykers for the additional pain they brought - with the strange exception of Lorgar & the Emperor, who seemed not to trigger that effect. Still, the whole Butcher's Nails thing is actually quite tragic. In "Betrayer" Argel Tal asks Kharn why the World Eaters allowed themselves to be mutilated so, to which Kharn replies that they thought it would bring them closer to their father. Argel Tal continues asking if it worked, and Kharn sadly mutters to himself "no, it didn't". So, before Erebus made sure that Kharn would become the RAAAAAAGE train we know in 40k by killing Argel Tal (in the same novel), because - as Erebus put it - his damned humanity would have spared Kharn this fate (because becoming a berzerk psychopathic killer is so much more awesome than staying sane) he appears to be regretting this decision - at least at this point.

During the Great Crusade, the World Eaters were known as the Imperium's butcher force. Their arrival or even just the threat of their arrival in a system was enough to make non-compliant Imperial worlds surrender, lest they be completely and utterly be butchered by the Red Angel and his sons - which only made it easier for the World Eaters to butcher them. Angron ordered his sons to complete every single conquest and compliance action in thirty-one hours, since he and his gladiator army had once destroyed an entire city on Nuceria in the same span of time. When and if they failed, he mocked them for being inadequate and ordered them to [[Perturabo|decimate themselves]], it apparently not having occurred to him that it's a little harder to take down an entire planet than it is one city, even if you are a Space Marine legion. Things were getting so bad that some of the World Eaters' senior officers were considering going to the Emperor for help, at least until the Nails became a thing and they stopped caring about anything beyond RIP AND TEAR. One of them even talked back to Angron on the subject, which caused him to RAEG the fuck out and start killing his own sons again until some of the Librarians knocked him out.

He also had a run in with [[Leman Russ]] at some point, just after the XII Legion started getting their brains Nailed. Russ came to Angron after having heard reports that the World Eaters were increasingly just bathing in blood, instead of bringing worlds to compliance. Angron wasn't as brain-damaged as he would be later, so he asked if Russ had come on order of the Emperor. Russ grudgingly had to admit he wasn't; this wasn't an execution ordered by the Emperor (yet) and he privately didn't want it to become one in the future. So he went on saying that implanting Angron's legionaries with the Nails had to stop and that they'd be brought to Terra so a way of removing them could be devised (so he basically told Angron to sort his shit out and stop mutilating his sons). But we all know how good Russ is with people and generally <s>just liked throwing his weight around</s>. In more seriousness, this is one of the cases where Russ really, genuinely wanted to help one of his brothers, having had his own bouts with [[rage|irresistible murderous intent]] to deal with. His approach sadly [[fail|wasn't well thought out]]. Though to be fair Angron wasn't exactly diplomatic either, telling Russ that the Nails were the only thing that kept him going, that the EMPRA was just another slaver (and that bringing "compliance" to worlds was just a way of candycoating enslaving worlds which merely had wished to be left alone), and that without the Nails he might go to Big.E and chop "the slaving bastard's" head off. Ironically enough Angron had a solid point with the former argument, but the very suggestion of turning against Emps basically made Russ [[rage|lose what remained of his cool on the spot]] with the result one would expect.

There was a brief skirmish between the two Legions (an event which would come to be known as the "Night of the Wolf") where Angron fought Leman Russ in personal combat. He made him his personal bitch until he was outmaneuvered by the Space Wolves troops and surrounded, isolated from his World Eaters who were just like their father putting up one hell of a fight and hurt on the Wolves but being slowly separated and isolated from each other. Russ then tried to make his point a second time; that Angron's berzerker rage made him and his Legion lose sight of the larger tactical and strategic objectives and that Russ had lured him into a position where he would be killed. Angron refused to acknowledge his losing position since he was the one holding the weapon at his brother's throat and that killing EVERYONE should be the only objective anyway. Russ might be very well holding the proverbial gun to his temple, but it was only worth anything if he was willing to pull the trigger. Which at that point Russ wasn't, so Angron completely ignored him. Yet, surprisingly, Angron did not press his attack either and both Primarchs separated and went their own way.

Angron was certain of his victory that day and didn't give the incident any more thought, the Nails stayed with him and his Legion. In the end, though, Leman Russ was right: Angron's failure to learn and control his murderous rage would be amply demonstrated and only become worse with time. At the tail end of the Great Crusade when he butchered a whole city which had just surrendered, on Isstvan III when he sabotaged Horus' clean [[Exterminatus]] by going down to rip the loyalists apart personally, and on Nuceria where he ordered every living being killed. But what’s truly sad is that Lorgar actually did seemingly succeed where Russ had failed in teaching the lesson of the Night of the Wolf years later, and on their way to Nuceria, during Angron’s last weeks as a human, he actually seemed to be trying to open himself up a little more to his legion by joining them in watching pit fights and hanging out with them during feasts, all of which was rendered too little too late by what went down when they reached their destination.

===Horus Heresy===
[[File:Daemon-Angron HHST.png|400px|thumb|right|Angron during the [[Siege of Terra]], about to give the defenders a very bad day]]
On which note, Angron kicked off his contribution to the Heresy in a way that had Horus' lieutenants suggest killing him. When the firestorm on Isstvan died down, it became apparent that large numbers of Loyalists had survived. Said survivors immediately hit the vox-casters and began demanding answers/hurling insults up at the orbiting fleet, outraged and grief stricken that they had been betrayed by their own Primarchs. Hearing the howled insults of his own Loyalist World Eaters, Angron flew into a rage and ordered his legion to deploy onto the planet. This meant that Horus couldn't just bombard the city again, and committed the Traitors to fighting a long, brutal campaign which delayed them and sapped their numbers.

He was much handier on Isstvan V, wreaking all sorts of carnage in the [[Dropsite Massacre]]. He stayed behind to hunt down the surviving Raven Guard who'd escaped with their Primarch, and would have massacred them if not for their reserves rocking up from Deliverance.

Lorgar then roped Angron into his Shadow Crusade, systematically butchering worlds across Ultramar to invoke the Ruinstorm. Initially, this was a campaign with mixed success: the two Legions nearly fought in the void before an Eldar fleet tried to destroy Angron, and the World Eaters wiped out several worlds which Lorgar had wanted to skip. The Word Bearers were nearly driven to despair by the World Eaters' degradation, and Lorgar began to worry that Angron couldn't see how he was degenerating - and there was only one way that could end. Still, Lorgar wanted to save Angron, although in his case "save" meant "transfigure into a daemon Primarch". Angron was, according to Horus and Lorgar, the only Primarch (beside Horus himself) that would be able to successfully take on and beat Sanguinius in full rage mode. To do that, Lorgar led Angron back to his shitty home planet [[Nuceria]] where Angron went into a deep depression after witness the tragic aftermath of his rebellion. And that lasted until he had the misfortune to be told he had fled that final battle, which made him go completely berserk, ordering his legion to slaughter every fucking thing on the planet faster than an [[Exterminatus|inquisitoral cyclonic torpedoes bombardment]].

The arrival of Guilliman's forces delayed its inevitable doom for a little while, and Angron had an epic showdown with [[Roboute Guilliman]] when he helped [[Lorgar]] fighting big boy blue. Guilliman called Angron out to which the Red Angel replied as follows:

<blockquote>''"What would you know of struggle, Perfect Son? When have you fought against the mutilation of your mind? When have you had to do anything more than tally compliances and polish your armour?" [...] "The people of your world named you Great One. The people of mine called me Slave. Which one of us landed on a paradise of civilization to be raised by a foster father, Roboute? Which one of us was given armies to lead after training in the halls of the Macraggian high-riders? Which one of us inherited a strong, cultured kingdom? And which one of us had to rise up against a kingdom with nothing but a horde of starving slaves? Which one of us was a child enslaved on a world of monsters, with his brain cut up by carving knives? Listen to your blue-clad wretches yelling of courage and honour, courage and honour, courage and honour. Do you even know the meaning of those words? Courage is fighting the kingdom which enslaves you, no matter that their armies outnumber yours by ten-thousand to one. You know nothing of courage. Honour is resisting a tyrant when all others suckle and grow fat on the hypocrisy he feeds them. You know nothing of honour."''</blockquote>

Choke on deez nuts, Papa Smurf. Guilliman ended up getting beaten so badly he had to crawl away on hands and knees, but not before throwing back:

<blockquote>''"You’re still a slave, Angron. Enslaved by your past, blind to the future. Too hateful to learn. Too spiteful to prosper."''</blockquote>

The irony is Angron was right all along about Emperor being a dick, as Roboute realized on Terra ten thousand years later. But in all seriousness, both of them had a point. Guilliman had it really easy and could have turned out massively different had his life not been so cushy, while Angron's rage over ''his'' admittedly-shitty life had consumed his soul and didn't exactly let him off the hook for turning his entire legion into murder machines.

Furthermore, during their duel Guilliman shattered one of the skulls that Angron had carried on him, which were the remains of the rebels Angron had carried with him (and whom he had promised to die alongside with... until the EMPRA abducted him. Angron himself said to Lorgar in "Betrayer" that he died on Nuceria), which obviously drove Angron to an entire new level of despair, allowing for Lorgar to capitalize on that emotion to fuel Angron's ascension into a daemon primarch. There were even 19 World Eater librarians, that had tried to prevent their primarch's ascension forming a gestalt warhound, pulling Angron's soul from one end, while Lorgar as well as some daemons pulled at it from the other, like children fighting over a doll. In the end, Lorgar - being the more powerful psyker - defeated the librarians, and turned Angron into the Daemon Primarch we all know and love. Guilliman ended up suffering a grievous wound, but escaped the planet, which was rendered devoid of all life by the World Eaters, and had its records erased by the Imperium of Man.

It should also be noted that one or two battles beforehand a Warhound Scout Titan tried to step on Lorgar after the Aurelian had taken two discharges of the the titan's main plasma weapon and was badly hurt (to the point of almost being mortally wounded) in the process. Angron stepped in to save his brother, catching the titan's foot and setting a new world record in squat weightlifting, keeping the titans weight suspended above himself through his sheer strength and RAGE, enabling Lorgar - who was almost dead at this point - to escape. And this was after digging his way up through 200+ feet of solid debris, after being warned by WE Librarians he had been digging 'downwards', and with Lorgar teleporting from orbit to help excavating the XIIth Primach (while Lorgar simultaneously destroyed several Ultramarine Thunderhawks with telekinetically hurled building debris which Angron had been buried under). Of course, after this the relationship between the two primarchs became pretty remarkable, and Lorgar ended up repaying the favor by arranging for Angron's ascension to daemonhood during their fight with Guilliman. At first Lorgar thought that Guilliman was ruining the "song" and finally understood that Guilliman had never hated or looked down on him until the Heresy (and the destruction of Calth) - actually distracting Lorgar for a moment as he realized that he had misunderstood his brother all along - At the end though, when Guilliman was about to gain the upper hand Angron emerged and engaged the XIII Primarch. At this very moment (topped off by Guilliman stepping on one of the aforementioned skulls) the "song" fell back in tune, and Lorgar could finish the incantation.

After Angron's ascension, he was even more the uncontrollable rage monster that he had always been and still hacked his way through the occasional officer that got on the wrong side of him. So the World Eaters locked him up on his flagship while they wondered what to do with him, which caused all the sorts of changes you'd expect by locking a roaring daemon up in the basement. Kharn visited his father during a lucid moment to try and get some sense out of him, having to remind his father of the red sands of Deshea and the gladiator he used to be. But Angron had already lost so much of his sense of self to [[Khorne]] that he did not even recognise the Legion as his own anymore, warning Kharn that the only way to continue serving him was to follow him down the same path. What's more was that as a daemon-Primarch, his grasp on reality was tenuous so the legion could only continue to keep their father in constant combat to ensure that he remained with them, forcing them to divert their forces towards literally any inhabited system to continue fighting and keeping the flow of blood going. Kharn ''(and presumably the rest of the legion)'' start losing themselves soon after.

===41st Millennium===
[[Image:Angrondemon.jpg|300px|thumb|Even in daemonhood, they ''still'' can't get the Nails out. Fucking Archeotech was built to ''last''!]]
Angron has done far more shit than all the other Daemon Primarchs put together. Instead of [[Fulgrim|sitting around being a painting on some Chaos God's wall]], [[Mortarion|sitting around while being a rotting fatass and feeling sorry for themselves]], [[Magnus the Red|sitting around and yelling just as planned anytime anything happens]], [[Lorgar|sitting around and preaching constantly]], [[Horus|being]] [[Alpharius|(Maybe)]] [[Konrad Curze|dead]], or [[Primarch#Two Missing Primarchs|being missing]]; Angron actually gets shit done and boy howdy when he [[rage|rages]] his way out of the eye of terror he makes sure that everyone knows about it...by tearing ''everything'' that gets in his way a new one until he finally gets thrown back into the warp by drowning in a quadrillion metric fucktons of [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Guardsmen]], [[Planetary Defense Force | Planetary Defense Force soldiers]], [[Space Marines|Spehss Mehreens]], [[Witch Hunters]], [[Sisters of Battle|Bolter Bitches]], [[Titan|Titans]], [[Stormtrooper|Inquisitorial Stormtroopers]], [[Daemonhunters]], and [[Grey Knights]], but to be fair, everyone kind of does that when the Imperium <strike>finishes the paperwork needed to</strike> retaliates.

This was of course before The Gathering Storm, whereupon Magnus personally attacked [[Fenris]] and laid waste to much of the planet and destroyed a lot of gene-seed, proving that [[Tzeentch]] can get shit done too. Then in 8th edition Mortarion waged [[Plague Wars]] against [[Ultramar]] and established the [[Scourge Stars]] systems in M42. Also it should be noted that Fulgrim has been free of that painting for a while now, but otherwise he still fits in the above category.

He also slaughtered his way throughout Imperial Space for over a century with 50,000 World Eater [[Berserker]]s and destroyed/maimed/killed/burned/broke the backs of/split open/fucked 70 sectors. However, in a subsequent Imperial offensive, Angron was banished to the warp and his men routed. This strike force comprised 2 Titan Legions, ''only'' 4 full Spess Mehreen chapters and over 30 Imperial Guard regiments to do that, so it's suffice to say that the counterattack put up quite a fight against the superior force. But to be fair, Angron's force was only comprised of close combat heavy infantry without ranged support or artillery. Later on, he showed up with an even bigger force to attack Armageddon. The Imperium responded in kind, sending in one hundred [[Grey Knights|Grey Knight Terminators]], and all but ten of them died fighting Angron and his Bloodthirster posse(and only because their prodigy Librarian Hyperion managed to shatter his sword, and he STILL managed to murder their leader with just his bare fists). He is armed with a really huge fucking chainaxe that's taller than him with chainswords for the chainteeth of the chainaxe. He's also got a stormbolter, but we wouldn't be surprised if that fired chainswords as well. Fittingly enough, it was called 'Godtearer'.

==In video games==

Unfortunately, he has appeared in only one of the official games, which greatly displeases [[Khorne]]. However, in the Ultimate Apocalypse mod for [[Dawn of War]], he takes the place of the Chaos Daemons' "game-ending win button" unit - and he's a walking rapetrain that can [[Awesome|obliterate buildings with a single hit, take out Titans in three, make himself invincible, and summon a retinue of Bloodthirsters]]. He can also be almost unkillable by exploiting a bug which lets him instantly refill his morale, which gives him disturbingly fast health regeneration. Too bad you'll almost never use him. He costs so many relic points in an army that consumes them like candy that, if you can spare the points and time to conjure him, chances are you're already winning so badly you don't actually need him. Seriously, for the same number of points it takes to conjure Angron you could just build 5-6 Helldrakes or an equal amount of Bloodthirsters, and keep in mind Chaos Daemons need the same resource for anything greater than lesser Daemons. If you're not spending them on other units you need ''right now'' then you can just overwhelm them with what you already have. Essentially the definition of "awesome but impractical", but sweet jesus is it truly awesome to watch.

Angron shows up in the Horus Heresy:Legions card game, being one of the best warlords, and keeping in with his character he has to attack every turn.

==On the tabletop==

===Heresy===
{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || I || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Angron:''' || 400 || 9 || 5 || 7 || 6 || 5 || 7 || 6(10) || 10 || 3+/4++
|}

Obviously one of the strongest Primarchs in the game when things come to HtH, Angron has a 3+ armor (weak for a demigod), 4+ invulnerable, FNP (the full rule since the 02/11/2019 errata), the Primarch rule, 5 wounds and T6. On the charge he has 7 S9 attacks (6 S8 normally) at WS9 with Hatred, so he gets to reroll to-hit rolls on the first turn of any combat, while also having Armourbane and dealing Instant Death on to wound roll of 6, in case S8-9 doesn't instagib anything right away. Thanks to the Butcher's Nail he will gain 1 bonus attack, up to 10 total attacks, for every Independent Character or Infantry unit he kills/destroys in close combat (But he must be the one to give the fatal blow/remove the last model to pick up this bonus) and he can also challenge as many times as there are Independent Characters and units in combat with him thanks to the Red Sands rule, assuring he will at least pick some extra attacks during the course of the game.

The obvious downsides are that, aside from butchering things in melee, Angron cannot do anything: he doesn't buff his army in any way aside 12" aura of Fearless, while other Primarchs bestow significant buffs to their armies, and of course he is one of the (if not THE) most fragile of the Primarchs, having only 5 wounds and 3+/4++. Having FNP 5+ doesn't fully compensate against mass fire but makes him actually more resilient than most of his brothers against AP2 attacks. So all in all he's much like Kharn on steroids: you reach melee - you're king, you get your transport blown up and then get kited across the table - you're fucked. The other problem he shares with Kharn is that he tends to annihilate anything he charges in one phase either through sweeping advance or just by killing everyone outright, which leaves him vulnerable to enemy fire afterwards.

Honestly, he's not worth it. Between his fragility, low mobility, and lack of army bonuses, he's a tricky Primarch to use. Unfortunate considering his badass fluff.

===40k===
He had stats from an old issue of [[White Dwarf]] that makes him a 500 point walking rapemachine who makes [[Abaddon]] the Despoiler and [[Mephiston]] look like total pussies, but you have to get him a bodyguard of at least 2-12 [[Bloodthirster|bloodthirsters]], which effectively racks up his point cost to over 1300 at the least. But with his mandatory bloodthirster bodyguard he can even kill An'ggrath, the biggest and baddest bloodthirster of them all. But they would never fight in canon because An'ggrath is one of the only entities in the universe that Angron respects due to An'ggrath's equal capacity for [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!]]...<strike>oh and Khorne says his champions can't fight each other because despite being balls-to-the-wall angry, Khorne knows well enough that the more champions he has on his side, the more blood spilled on his behalf. Thus, offing one of his champs is counter-productive since he's losing more than he's eventually gaining.</strike> That sounds like the prissy rationale of someone who's philosophizing when they could be killing! Blood for the Blood God!

With the looming release of 8th Edition, there's a very good chance that Daemon Angron could be getting an actual model and updated stats before long, especially with the news that Armageddon is gonna be playing host to a massive horde of Khornate Daemons called the Blood Crusade. ''You just know'' that Angron is gonna be leading that, back for round 2. After Magnus and the imminent release of Mortarion, Angron and Fulgrim, being the other aligned daemon Primarchs, are strong contenders for release sometime in the next 12 months.

*Still waiting GW. Angron didn't show up to Armageddon, and he didn't show up to Terra, but we know he's coming.
*It is now the eve of 9th edition, and Angron still has not arrived, nor has Fulgrim
*A new excerpt published at the ninth edition release suggests Angron is coming back to Armageddon for a Boogaloo of apocalyptic proportions

==Angron VS other Primarchs:==
<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">
Primarch fighting, while fun to see, isn't a very competitive thing to do as it'll usually tie up both Primarchs for the entire game without either of them dying (But with Angron this is less likely as you're going to die or kill fast!), with that in mind this section is about how Angron fares against other Primarchs Mathhammer wise. Please note that all the various abilities are taken into accounts when possible and the match-ups assume the Primarchs are the only ones involved in the fighting, so various abilities like Angron's "The Butcher's Nails" and Rampage do not provide any bonuses. The fights are supposed to be in a vacuum for simplicity (So no Furious Charge for our hero...), but notes are added to make things clearer in particular instances. Also all of the Primarchs use their most powerful weapons (because why have a contest if you don't do your best?)
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">

* Angron VS Horus
**Horus turn 1 & 2: hits 3 times, wounds 2.667 times, 0.888 after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.555 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Horus (with Angron wounded twice): hits 3.999 times, wounds 3.555 times, causes 1.185 wounds after saves & FNP, taken to 0.851 with IWND at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 1.48 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.148.
**Angron Wounded: hits 3 times, wounds 1.999 times, 0.666 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Despite a good showing in the first round; when factoring in Disabling Strike the whole thing becomes academic; Horus overtakes Angron in damage capacity after one wound (<2 turns) and quickly beats Angron to a pulp as Angron continues to flail feebly.

* Angron vs Fulgrim
**Fulgrim hits 3.5 times, wounds 2.333 times (2.722 times if his warlord trait is Child of Terra), 1.166 (1.361) times after saves, 0.971 (1.134) after Feel No Pain (remember that half of the attacks that wound cause Instant Death) and IWND will take that down to 0.638 (0.801) wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 1.48 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.148.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.111 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.778 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**A really close fight: Angron does marginally more damage if Fulgrim doesn't chose Child of Terra as his Warlord Trait. With Child of Terra it becomes a battle of attrition that Angron will eventually lose. If Angron gets blinded at any point due to Fulgrim's Gilded Panoply it puts him at a disadvantage he likely wont recover from.

* Angron VS Ferrus
**Ferrus hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.083 times, 0.694 times after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.361 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.185 after saves, and IWND take it down to 0.852.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 0.889 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.556 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Thanks to his upgraded Feel No Pain, Angron can tank more than Ferrus can, resulting in a win.

* Angron VS Konrad Curze
**Curze hits 3 times, wounds 2.25 times, 0.750 wounds after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.417 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 2.222 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.889.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron easily wins, doing a lot more damage and receiving less in turn.
**Note: Curze can Hit & Run, but by doing so he would only gain one more attack, while allowing Angron to reset his Hatred, thus actually making himself die even faster.

* Angron VS Vulkan
**Vulkan hits 2 times, wounds 1.666 times, 0.833 wounds after saves (ID Negates FNP) and IWND will take that down to 0.5 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.185 after saves, and IWND take it down to 0.63.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 0.889 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Vulkan wins (barely). This fight is actually much closer what the simplified maths suggest. Since IWND only comes into affect on the controlling players turn ''(two rounds of combat)'' Each combatant gets their damage output twice before IWND kicks in, so Vulkan's legendary endurance nearly fails him by the second bout of combat on turn four, possibly resulting in a mutual kill.

* Angron vs Mortarion
**Mortarion hits 2.5 times, wounds 1.666 times, 0.833 times after saves (no FNP due to Instant Death) and IWND will take that down to 0.5 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.777 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.222.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 1.333 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.778 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Mortarion loses. Despite having the same reroll on IWND and doing the same damage per turn as Vulkan; even with one extra wound Mortarion's poorer save allows Angron to take him down more quickly.

* Angron VS Lorgar
**Lorgar hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.083 times, 0.694 after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that to 0.361 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 4 times, wounds 3.111 times, 1.555 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.222.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron wins pretty easily.
**Note: against Lorgar Transfigured with Precognition Lorgar wins (Not as easily as the old version, but is still a monster).

*Angron VS Perturabo
**Perturabo hits 2 times, wounds 1.667 times, 0.555 wounds after saves and FNP, then IWND will take that down to 0.222 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 1.48 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.148.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.111 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.778 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron wins.
**Note: in the turn after Perturabo actually wounds Angron (69% per round) he will most probably be blinded and then hammered to death. So if he can't kill him before that he is actually dead meat.

* Angron VS Alpharius
**Alpharius hits 2.917 times, wounds 1.7 times, 0.85 wounds after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.517 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 2.222 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.889.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**As with Vulkan, Angron can't use FNP in this fight due to the Pale Spear's Instant Death, but he still easily takes the win.

* Angron VS Rogal Dorn
**Dorn hits 2 times, wounds 1.5 times, 0.499 wounds after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.167 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Dorn (Sundering Blow) hits once, wounds 0.972 times, 0.486 wounds after saves (No FNP due to Instant Death), taken to 0.152 at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.777 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.444.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 2.667 times, 1.333 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**This is probably Angron's easiest fight.
**Note: Sundering Blow cancels out Feel No Pain so it was worth calculating. Turns out it makes no difference here; Dorn has too few attacks to make a difference either way.

* Angron VS Corvus Corax
**Corvus hits 4 times (Scourge)/3 times (Shadow-walk), wounds 3 times (Scourge)/2.25 times (Shadow-walk), 0.999 wounds (Scourge)/0.750 wounds (Shadow-walk) after saves and FNP and IWND will take that down to 0.666/0.417 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333/4.5 times, wounds 4.444/3.75 times, 2.963/2.5 after saves, and IWND take it down to 2.63/2.167.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4/3 times, wounds 3.333/2.5 times, 2.222/1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.889/1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron wins really easily as Corax is simply too frail for him.
**Note: differently from Curze, Corax would actually have the edge on the charge thanks to his Sire of the Raven Guard rule and his Hammer of Wrath/dual Archeotech Pistols. Also in a turn in which blind goes off he could have the advantage of Shadow-walk and scourge at the same times (plus more, 'cause he would hit on 3s). A tough fight, but more on his style and it could make him win in extremis.

* Angron VS Roboute Guilliman
**Angron Round 1: Angron has Hatred, so on the first turn he will hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 2.222 after saves, 1.972 after Armour of Reason re-roll and IWND take it down to 1.639.
**Angron Round 2: Angron hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves, 1.417 after re-roll and IWND will take that down to 1.084 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 3 and thereafter: Angron hits 3 times, wounds 2.5 times, 1.25 after saves and 1 after re-roll. Then IWND take it down to 0.667.
**Guilliman Round 1/2/3: hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.222 times, 0.741 times after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.407 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 4 and thereafter: hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.963 times, 0.987 times after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.654 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Unsurprisingly, Guilliman loses this fight.

*Angron vs Magnus
**Angron first round: hits 4.5 times, wounds 3.75 times and 1.875 after saves which IWND will take down to 1.542 at the start of next turn
**Angron second round: hits 3 times, wounds 2.5 times and 1.25 after saves which IWND will take down to 0.917 at the start of next turn
**Magnus: hits twice, wounds 1.667 times, reducing to 0.557 after saves & FNP. Then IWND will take down to 0.222 at the start of next turn
**Magnus (using Force): hits twice, wounds 1.667, reduces to 0.834 after saves. IWND brings this to 0.5 at the start of the next turn.
**Psychic powers normally don't get included in the PvP breakdowns, but Magnus is the only one with a Force Weapon so it was worth mentioning. Either way you look at it, Magnus loses this one pretty badly. Things would obviously be different if other powers were included.
**As with psychic powers in general in 30k, this fight is really swingy based on what powers Magnus takes. If he can roll Iron arm and Warp speed with a power left to generate then he could take Prescience to actually gain a decent chance of winning. At the same time he could also have a tough time in power generation and get squished.

*Angron VS Leman Russ
**Angron Round 1: Angron has Hatred and is hitting on a 5+, so he hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.778 times, invul save brings it down to 1.389 and IWND brings it to 1.056 wounds.
**Angron Round 2 and on: Angron is hitting on 5s, so hits 2 times, wounds 1.666 times, saves brings it down to .833 and IWND brings it 0.5
**Leman hits Angron 3.214 times, wounds 2.678 times, save brings it down to 1.339, FNP brings it 0.892 and IWND brings it down 0.559
**As expected Angron loses this fight. Angron puts up a reasonable fight but the wolf king is just much for him.
**TLDR: Without the Sword of Balelight, the fight is very close. Sword of Balelight is pretty busted.

* Angron VS Jaghatai
**Jaghatai (on Bike) hits 4 times, wounds 2 times, 1 wounds after saves and FNP will take that down to 0.666 and IWND will take that down to 0.333
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.185 wounds after saves, and IWND take it down to 0.852 at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 0.888 wounds after saves, IWND will take that down to 0.556 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angrons wins, and if Jaghatai uses hit-and-run he'll get destroyed even faster.

* Angron vs Sanguinius
**Sanguinius charging: hits 4 times (3.5 times with Blade Encarmine), wounds 3.999 times (double wounds taken into account) (3.111 with Encarmine), becomes 1.999 (1.037 with Encarmine & FNP) after saves
***Sanguinius Hammer of Wrath: 1 autohit, wounds 0.833 times, becomes 0.277 after saves and FNP.
***Total combined damage on charge 2.276 (1.314), taken to 1.944 (0.981) next turn with IWND
**Sanguinius thereafter: hits 3.5 times (3 times with Blade Encarmine), wounds 2.333 times (double wounds taken into account)(2.666 with Encarmine), taken to 1.166 after saves (0.888 with Encarmine + FNP), taken to 0.8333 (0.555) next turn with IWND
**Angron Round 1: hits 4.5 times, wounds 3.75 times, becomes 1.875 after saves (0.938 if Sanguinius charged). IWND takes it to 1.54 (0.604) next turn
**Angron thereafter: hits 3 times, wounds 2.5 times, becomes 1.25 after saves and IWND takes it to 0.917 next turn
***There is a lot going on with this fight depending on what Sanguinius is doing. With the Spear of Telesto, from a standing start or if Angron charges there is a mutual kill by about the fifth bout of combat. If Sanguinius can get the charge he wins.
***With the Blade Encarmine there is a close mutual kill if Sanguinius charges, but Angron wins from a standing start or if he charges. Feel No Pain really makes the difference.

* TLDR version: Despite being mocked for ''only'' having 3+/4++ in saves and fewer wounds than everyone but Lorgar (or Corax on a bad day), Angron is surprisingly resilient thanks to his FNP(5+). He will outpace most opponents thanks to his high number of attacks and good WS, so those who can't match his output turn-for-turn can only hope to outlast him. Angron is pretty vulnerable to Strikedown, Concussive, Blind, and basically any rule which reduces his ability to hit things ''(eg: Horus & Russ)'', all of which will severely cripple his overall damage potential. Keep in mind, as mentioned above, this is without any benefits from his The Butcher's Nails rule. With his attacks maxed out he can destroy almost any other Primarch (even Lorgar with Precognition, though it is damn close) with the exception of a few like Russ and...yeah, you guessed it right: Horus! Although he will surely put a dent even in the Warmaster.
</div></div>

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Past-Angron-art.jpg| You'd be pissed off too if your dad didn't let you avenge your dog.
File:Past-Angron.jpg|
File:Angaron.jpg|WHY IS HE BEATING UP HIS OWN LEGION said everyone on Isstvan III. Proof that Angron was actually a Loyalist Primarch. Don't believe the Chaos Lies!
File:Angron.jpg|Can [[Anime|Vegeta]] say what his power level is?
File:Angron Butchers Nails.jpg|Angron before Daemonhood. The only real difference is a lack of wings.
File:Aerion's Angron.jpg|Angron portrayed in his natural state: PISSED THE FUCK OFF!
File:Angron by alexboca-d7930i6.jpg|Angron just generally being a boss (and looking absolutely goddamn awesome while doing so). And you call the epic ness that he wears "3+" greatly displeases khorne and teh emprah
File:angron_is_for_angry_by_sunradio-d6oferw.jpg|Daemon Primarch Angron at the final battle of the First war of Armageddon.
File:Happy angron.jpg|Angron can be happy too!
</gallery>

==See Also==
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKPVNaKvODw&t=0s| They hit him with a truck!]

----
Angron also supposedly wrote some stuff called the Clotted Scrolls. What this means is unknown

{{Primarchs}}
{{Daemons-Characters}}

[[category:Chaos]]

Angron

2020-07-26T22:30:53Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:748C:B105:AA91:7BA4:

{{heresy}}
{{Cleanup}}
[[File:World Eaters.jpg|400px|thumb|right|Angron and his World Eaters, pre-heresy and pre-[[daemon prince]] in a rare state of tranquility standing on top of [[grimdark|a pile made of snow and dead bodies]]. It's hard to calm down when there's nails in your brain.]]
{{Topquote|I-I am going to be a storm-a flame-<br>I need to fight whole armies alone;<br>I have ten hearts; I have a hundred arms;<br>I feel too strong to war with mortals-<br>[[Rip and tear|BRING ME GIANTS]]!|Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac}}
{{Topquote|I was born in blood, raised in darkness and I shall die free!|Angron, to the Nucerian High Riders and their armies}}
{{Topquote|‘That’s because you’re free. The world can be– hnng,’ he snarled, fighting off a stabbing wave of pain from his Nails, ‘beautiful, when you finally get to see it without chains.’|Angron, to one of his companions in the break, before the last fight against the Nucerian High Riders}}

His name is Angron (A.K.A. '''The Red Angel''', '''The Slave of Nuceria''', '''40Atareus''', '''Shithead''' if you're sergeant Gharte, '''That Goddamn Retard''' if you're [[Leman Russ]], or '''That Complete Fucking Failure''' if your DoomGuy) Cmon, do we really have to spell it out? While his name may be a play on the words "Anger", it is possible that his name is based on the Greek word ''Agrion'' which means "Wild" or even ''Agron'', the Gallic word for "slaughter" (Which pretty much suits him considering he's the angriest, wildest, mother-fucking mother fucker in a long and extensive history of bipedal mother fuckers). Also, if you spell his name backwards it's Norgna, which has to count for something. Apparently the inspiration for his name was a corruption of the nickname a bouncer in Nottingham has: Angry Ron.
What we're trying to say is, Angron just might be the angriest and the most talented in manly face-to-face fighting son of a bitch in the galaxy. In fact, one time he was so angry about being angry all the time, that the part of him that made him angry exploded in his head, rendering him permanently angry (and also sexually impotent, but don't let him know that). And then there was that time he was kidnapped by the [[God-Emperor of Mankind|Emprah]], which didn't help his temper much, and gave him an excuse to fucking RAGE at his dad by joining up with [[Khorne]], Warhammer's God of Battle, War and [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAGE]]! Angron just so happens to be [[Primarch]] of the [[World eaters|World Eaters]] and [[Kharn|that swell guy]]. Hilariously, while you probably pictured a hulking brute reading this, he is described in fluff as one of the shortest Primachs, stooped and bald on the top of that. He is also Khorne's second most powerful champion, where he falls short to [[Doombreed]], Khorne's first ever [[Daemon Prince]]/Champion. But we can forgive him, because nobody can beat [[Genghis motherfucking Khan]].

His revered exploits include slaughtering the entire population of a planet within a night; killing an entire contingent of Eldar warriors led by a Farseer when he was only a child; and leading a gladiator rebellion against their slavers and slaughtering 25 other armies sent against them, non-stop, until a huge one made up of seven armies came and fucked their shit up against a dirty rock. The Emperor saved him from dying there (but left all his buddies to die), which was a tremendous blow to his martial pride and among other things, eventually led him to [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAGE]] furiously against the Emperor, believing him a coward devoid of honor. Angron went on to become one of the first Primarchs to side with Horus during the heresy, and was turned into a monstrous, frothing demon-prince by his brother Lorgar. Eventually, Angron joined up with KHORNE, the aforementioned God of War, Murder, Killing, Bloodshed, Weeping Buttholes, Battle and [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAGE]].

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNkRBowsAmI Here is the theme song of this glorious bastard.]

==History==
===Early Life===

Angron has good reason to be ever-so-slightly miffed: his early life was one big bowl of shit after another. First he crash-landed on his new home [[Nuceria|world]] (because Khorne didn't give him a soft landing) and had a good chunk of his head torn off in the crash, after which he got jumped by the aforementioned Eldar, then (tired from the killing and the massive brain trauma --keep in mind he was like 6 hours old) got captured and sold into slavery by people with near-Imperial level technology before making him fight as a gladiator for their entertainment.

A later retcon revealed he was a decent guy who loved his fellow gladiators, but after an incident where he refused to kill his adoptive father in the arenas, his masters proceeded to replace part of his brain with ARCHAEOTECH SHIT (originally this happened before he fully grew up) that drove him so mad that he murdered his dad regardless, cueing a massive bout of despair. The stuff they stuck in his head would later be called ''"The Butcher's Nails"'', and, though never fully understood (even after the Emprah's best techs took a look), they constantly applied pain to his brain and made it so the only time he could feel anything resembling happiness was while murdering shit. It should also be noted that they go from excruciating to normal, and ''do not'' deal with the pleasure centers of the brain.

After years of being a slave, fighting through the gladiator pits and becoming the best of them, Angron eventually set up and led a rebellion, fighting to free his brother and sister gladiators. This would make him 40k's answer to Spartacus, the same way Curze is 40k Batman. Around that time, the Emperor showed up, and hashed out a deal with the local planetary government in order to expedite Angron's capture and win over the planet without any further bloodshed, because there was no point in the Emperor helping his son win a (totally justified) war against a population that had already submitted to compliance. Of course, this deal required the Emperor to take Angron away from the only people who weren't shitty to him and leaving them all to die; but Big E didn't give a rat's ass about those fuckers (and they were all summarily executed, as you would expect in a slave rebellion). Naturally, he didn't tell Angron any of this, because <s>he couldn't give less of a shit</s> [[Aaron Dembski-Bowden]] wanted to make the Emperor look like an ass again. Daddy issues don't make for good writing, but said good writing is harder to write. Of course, the Emperor could have saved them all or simply kill the local slavers who were, despite compliance, flying in the face of the law of the Great Crusade, and take the slaves to his ship to be made into a loyal ass-wrecking rapetrain of AWESOME alongside all the Terran legionnaires. Buuuut we need our dose of our [[Edgy]] [[Grimdark]] here, right?

Back on [[Terra]], the Big E summoned [[Arkhan Land]] to his labs and showed Angron spread out with his skull hacked open & brain exposed on a a surgery table, taking a good look at Angron's fucked-up skull and decided that he was a waste of time and effort. The Butcher's Nails were quite literally destroying his brain so fast that the Mechanicus estimated that he wouldn't live long enough to see the end of the Great Crusade.

Considering that later during the Horus Heresy, '''Menes Kalliston''' of the [[Thousand Sons]] was fairly certain that their [[psyker]]-medics could figure out how to remove them from [[Khârn|a certain swell guy]], it is probable that the Emperor - being the most intelligent person in the [[Imperium]] and the most powerful psyker ever - ''<u>could</u>'' have achieved it if he put some resources into it. Considering that in "Mechanicum" he merely needed to touch a [[Imperial Knight|Knight]] to fully repair the machine the evidence does not add up. There is the possibility that the Emperor had the foresight to know that some of the Primarchs were going to betray him eventually, so he wrote Angron off as one of the bad ones without even trying. If not, then he was simply being a [[Eldrad|dick]].

===Great Crusade===
[[File:Preheresy-world-eaters.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Angron back when the Great Crusade was still a thing.]]
{{Topquote|You kept that mule Kor Phaeron. Russ kept his kin-friends. The Lion kept Luther. Humans - brothers and foster fathers - saved and raised into Legion ranks. But not me. Not Angron, no. Did the Emperor teleport his gold-wrapped Custodians down to help me and my army? No. Did he free the War Hounds and order them to battle, fight alongside me? No. Did he save my brothers and sisters the way he spared the Lion’s closest kin? No, no, and no. No mercy for Angron. Angron the Oathbreaker. Angron the Betrayer.| Angron explains his anger towards the Emperor to Lorgar, during one of his more calm moments.}}

Either way, when Angron was introduced to his legion he was inconsolable. He ended up hacking apart the legion captains until Khârn (who was actually much further down the list of command, having risen up the ladder thanks to several of his superiors' untimely ends) managed to talk some sense into his father. So, despite already writing Angron off as a broken tool the Emperor was willing to let him kill off many useful ranking officers, betting it all on the fact that a broken Primarch is still a Primarch. Though bearing in mind the Emperor had already let [[Perturabo]] dispassionately decimate 10% of an ''entire legion'', Angron killing some captains in an emotional meltdown is small potatoes.

Anyway, [[Kharn]] successfully talks some sense into him, and Angron renamed his legion ''World Eaters'', a name you might recognize translates to ''fucking savage'' in the common tongue. Angron's old army of gladiators whom he'd led to freedom and been denied death alongside them was known as "the eaters of cities" on [[Nuceria]]. So, as Dreagher, a Terran-born War Hounds legionary who served as Captain of the Legion's 9th Company, described it: ''from then on, they would no longer be the War Hounds, but Angron's "eaters of worlds"''.

Angron then replicated the Butcher's Nails technology on his legionaries, despite the Empy's warnings and how much he hated the source of the Nails, his old masters - which adds a little hypocritical spice to his complaints about how the Nails ruined his life, given that he did the same thing to other people for no fucking reason when given the chance. Perhaps Angron wanted his sons to feel the same pain he experienced since he would never be able to remove the goddamn thing from his brain and it pissed him off that his own flesh and blood did not suffer as he did. Even in spite of being the first legionary to GIT SOME, [[Kharn|that swell guy]] became Angron's 'cool headed' equerry. Ironic.

The Nails also negatively interacted with psykers, killing Librarians who tried to get them installed (blowing holes in spaceships and taking down entire squads of space marines in the process as their altered brain chemistry made it impossible for them to control their abilities anymore). Also merely being near a psyker made other Legionaries feel... ''uncomfortable'' (described as ''ticking'' by Kharn). Angron personally took this to eleven, hating psykers for the additional pain they brought - with the strange exception of Lorgar & the Emperor, who seemed not to trigger that effect. Still, the whole Butcher's Nails thing is actually quite tragic. In "Betrayer" Argel Tal asks Kharn why the World Eaters allowed themselves to be mutilated so, to which Kharn replies that they thought it would bring them closer to their father. Argel Tal continues asking if it worked, and Kharn sadly mutters to himself "no, it didn't". So, before Erebus made sure that Kharn would become the RAAAAAAGE train we know in 40k by killing Argel Tal (in the same novel), because - as Erebus put it - his damned humanity would have spared Kharn this fate (because becoming a berzerk psychopathic killer is so much more awesome than staying sane) he appears to be regretting this decision - at least at this point.

During the Great Crusade, the World Eaters were known as the Imperium's butcher force. Their arrival or even just the threat of their arrival in a system was enough to make non-compliant Imperial worlds surrender, lest they be completely and utterly be butchered by the Red Angel and his sons - which only made it easier for the World Eaters to butcher them. Angron ordered his sons to complete every single conquest and compliance action in thirty-one hours, since he and his gladiator army had once destroyed an entire city on Nuceria in the same span of time. When and if they failed, he mocked them for being inadequate and ordered them to [[Perturabo|decimate themselves]], it apparently not having occurred to him that it's a little harder to take down an entire planet than it is one city, even if you are a Space Marine legion. Things were getting so bad that some of the World Eaters' senior officers were considering going to the Emperor for help, at least until the Nails became a thing and they stopped caring about anything beyond RIP AND TEAR. One of them even talked back to Angron on the subject, which caused him to RAEG the fuck out and start killing his own sons again until some of the Librarians knocked him out.

He also had a run in with [[Leman Russ]] at some point, just after the XII Legion started getting their brains Nailed. Russ came to Angron after having heard reports that the World Eaters were increasingly just bathing in blood, instead of bringing worlds to compliance. Angron wasn't as brain-damaged as he would be later, so he asked if Russ had come on order of the Emperor. Russ grudgingly had to admit he wasn't; this wasn't an execution ordered by the Emperor (yet) and he privately didn't want it to become one in the future. So he went on saying that implanting Angron's legionaries with the Nails had to stop and that they'd be brought to Terra so a way of removing them could be devised (so he basically told Angron to sort his shit out and stop mutilating his sons). But we all know how good Russ is with people and generally <s>just liked throwing his weight around</s>. In more seriousness, this is one of the cases where Russ really, genuinely wanted to help one of his brothers, having had his own bouts with [[rage|irresistible murderous intent]] to deal with. His approach sadly [[fail|wasn't well thought out]]. Though to be fair Angron wasn't exactly diplomatic either, telling Russ that the Nails were the only thing that kept him going, that the EMPRA was just another slaver (and that bringing "compliance" to worlds was just a way of candycoating enslaving worlds which merely had wished to be left alone), and that without the Nails he might go to Big.E and chop "the slaving bastard's" head off. Ironically enough Angron had a solid point with the former argument, but the very suggestion of turning against Emps basically made Russ [[rage|lose what remained of his cool on the spot]] with the result one would expect.

There was a brief skirmish between the two Legions (an event which would come to be known as the "Night of the Wolf") where Angron fought Leman Russ in personal combat. He made him his personal bitch until he was outmaneuvered by the Space Wolves troops and surrounded, isolated from his World Eaters who were just like their father putting up one hell of a fight and hurt on the Wolves but being slowly separated and isolated from each other. Russ then tried to make his point a second time; that Angron's berzerker rage made him and his Legion lose sight of the larger tactical and strategic objectives and that Russ had lured him into a position where he would be killed. Angron refused to acknowledge his losing position since he was the one holding the weapon at his brother's throat and that killing EVERYONE should be the only objective anyway. Russ might be very well holding the proverbial gun to his temple, but it was only worth anything if he was willing to pull the trigger. Which at that point Russ wasn't, so Angron completely ignored him. Yet, surprisingly, Angron did not press his attack either and both Primarchs separated and went their own way.

Angron was certain of his victory that day and didn't give the incident any more thought, the Nails stayed with him and his Legion. In the end, though, Leman Russ was right: Angron's failure to learn and control his murderous rage would be amply demonstrated and only become worse with time. At the tail end of the Great Crusade when he butchered a whole city which had just surrendered, on Isstvan III when he sabotaged Horus' clean [[Exterminatus]] by going down to rip the loyalists apart personally, and on Nuceria where he ordered every living being killed. But what’s truly sad is that Lorgar actually did seemingly succeed where Russ had failed in teaching the lesson of the Night of the Wolf years later, and on their way to Nuceria, during Angron’s last weeks as a human, he actually seemed to be trying to open himself up a little more to his legion by joining them in watching pit fights and hanging out with them during feasts, all of which was rendered too little too late by what went down when they reached their destination.

===Horus Heresy===
[[File:Daemon-Angron HHST.png|400px|thumb|right|Angron during the [[Siege of Terra]], about to give the defenders a very bad day]]
On which note, Angron kicked off his contribution to the Heresy in a way that had Horus' lieutenants suggest killing him. When the firestorm on Isstvan died down, it became apparent that large numbers of Loyalists had survived. Said survivors immediately hit the vox-casters and began demanding answers/hurling insults up at the orbiting fleet, outraged and grief stricken that they had been betrayed by their own Primarchs. Hearing the howled insults of his own Loyalist World Eaters, Angron flew into a rage and ordered his legion to deploy onto the planet. This meant that Horus couldn't just bombard the city again, and committed the Traitors to fighting a long, brutal campaign which delayed them and sapped their numbers.

He was much handier on Isstvan V, wreaking all sorts of carnage in the [[Dropsite Massacre]]. He stayed behind to hunt down the surviving Raven Guard who'd escaped with their Primarch, and would have massacred them if not for their reserves rocking up from Deliverance.

Lorgar then roped Angron into his Shadow Crusade, systematically butchering worlds across Ultramar to invoke the Ruinstorm. Initially, this was a campaign with mixed success: the two Legions nearly fought in the void before an Eldar fleet tried to destroy Angron, and the World Eaters wiped out several worlds which Lorgar had wanted to skip. The Word Bearers were nearly driven to despair by the World Eaters' degradation, and Lorgar began to worry that Angron couldn't see how he was degenerating - and there was only one way that could end. Still, Lorgar wanted to save Angron, although in his case "save" meant "transfigure into a daemon Primarch". Angron was, according to Horus and Lorgar, the only Primarch (beside Horus himself) that would be able to successfully take on and beat Sanguinius in full rage mode. To do that, Lorgar led Angron back to his shitty home planet [[Nuceria]] where Angron went into a deep depression after witness the tragic aftermath of his rebellion. And that lasted until he had the misfortune to be told he had fled that final battle, which made him go completely berserk, ordering his legion to slaughter every fucking thing on the planet faster than an [[Exterminatus|inquisitoral cyclonic torpedoes bombardment]].

The arrival of Guilliman's forces delayed its inevitable doom for a little while, and Angron had an epic showdown with [[Roboute Guilliman]] when he helped [[Lorgar]] fighting big boy blue. Guilliman called Angron out to which the Red Angel replied as follows:

<blockquote>''"What would you know of struggle, Perfect Son? When have you fought against the mutilation of your mind? When have you had to do anything more than tally compliances and polish your armour?" [...] "The people of your world named you Great One. The people of mine called me Slave. Which one of us landed on a paradise of civilization to be raised by a foster father, Roboute? Which one of us was given armies to lead after training in the halls of the Macraggian high-riders? Which one of us inherited a strong, cultured kingdom? And which one of us had to rise up against a kingdom with nothing but a horde of starving slaves? Which one of us was a child enslaved on a world of monsters, with his brain cut up by carving knives? Listen to your blue-clad wretches yelling of courage and honour, courage and honour, courage and honour. Do you even know the meaning of those words? Courage is fighting the kingdom which enslaves you, no matter that their armies outnumber yours by ten-thousand to one. You know nothing of courage. Honour is resisting a tyrant when all others suckle and grow fat on the hypocrisy he feeds them. You know nothing of honour."''</blockquote>

Choke on deez nuts, Papa Smurf. Guilliman ended up getting beaten so badly he had to crawl away on hands and knees, but not before throwing back:

<blockquote>''"You’re still a slave, Angron. Enslaved by your past, blind to the future. Too hateful to learn. Too spiteful to prosper."''</blockquote>

The irony is Angron was right all along about Emperor being a dick, as Roboute realized on Terra ten thousand years later. But in all seriousness, both of them had a point. Guilliman had it really easy and could have turned out massively different had his life not been so cushy, while Angron's rage over ''his'' admittedly-shitty life had consumed his soul and didn't exactly let him off the hook for turning his entire legion into murder machines.

Furthermore, during their duel Guilliman shattered one of the skulls that Angron had carried on him, which were the remains of the rebels Angron had carried with him (and whom he had promised to die alongside with... until the EMPRA abducted him. Angron himself said to Lorgar in "Betrayer" that he died on Nuceria), which obviously drove Angron to an entire new level of despair, allowing for Lorgar to capitalize on that emotion to fuel Angron's ascension into a daemon primarch. There were even 19 World Eater librarians, that had tried to prevent their primarch's ascension forming a gestalt warhound, pulling Angron's soul from one end, while Lorgar as well as some daemons pulled at it from the other, like children fighting over a doll. In the end, Lorgar - being the more powerful psyker - defeated the librarians, and turned Angron into the Daemon Primarch we all know and love. Guilliman ended up suffering a grievous wound, but escaped the planet, which was rendered devoid of all life by the World Eaters, and had its records erased by the Imperium of Man.

It should also be noted that one or two battles beforehand a Warhound Scout Titan tried to step on Lorgar after the Aurelian had taken two discharges of the the titan's main plasma weapon and was badly hurt (to the point of almost being mortally wounded) in the process. Angron stepped in to save his brother, catching the titan's foot and setting a new world record in squat weightlifting, keeping the titans weight suspended above himself through his sheer strength and RAGE, enabling Lorgar - who was almost dead at this point - to escape. And this was after digging his way up through 200+ feet of solid debris, after being warned by WE Librarians he had been digging 'downwards', and with Lorgar teleporting from orbit to help excavating the XIIth Primach (while Lorgar simultaneously destroyed several Ultramarine Thunderhawks with telekinetically hurled building debris which Angron had been buried under). Of course, after this the relationship between the two primarchs became pretty remarkable, and Lorgar ended up repaying the favor by arranging for Angron's ascension to daemonhood during their fight with Guilliman. At first Lorgar thought that Guilliman was ruining the "song" and finally understood that Guilliman had never hated or looked down on him until the Heresy (and the destruction of Calth) - actually distracting Lorgar for a moment as he realized that he had misunderstood his brother all along - At the end though, when Guilliman was about to gain the upper hand Angron emerged and engaged the XIII Primarch. At this very moment (topped off by Guilliman stepping on one of the aforementioned skulls) the "song" fell back in tune, and Lorgar could finish the incantation.

After Angron's ascension, he was even more the uncontrollable rage monster that he had always been and still hacked his way through the occasional officer that got on the wrong side of him. So the World Eaters locked him up on his flagship while they wondered what to do with him, which caused all the sorts of changes you'd expect by locking a roaring daemon up in the basement. Kharn visited his father during a lucid moment to try and get some sense out of him, having to remind his father of the red sands of Deshea and the gladiator he used to be. But Angron had already lost so much of his sense of self to [[Khorne]] that he did not even recognise the Legion as his own anymore, warning Kharn that the only way to continue serving him was to follow him down the same path. What's more was that as a daemon-Primarch, his grasp on reality was tenuous so the legion could only continue to keep their father in constant combat to ensure that he remained with them, forcing them to divert their forces towards literally any inhabited system to continue fighting and keeping the flow of blood going. Kharn ''(and presumably the rest of the legion)'' start losing themselves soon after.

===41st Millennium===
[[Image:Angrondemon.jpg|300px|thumb|Even in daemonhood, they ''still'' can't get the Nails out. Fucking Archeotech was built to ''last''!]]
Angron has done far more shit than all the other Daemon Primarchs put together. Instead of [[Fulgrim|sitting around being a painting on some Chaos God's wall]], [[Mortarion|sitting around while being a rotting fatass and feeling sorry for themselves]], [[Magnus the Red|sitting around and yelling just as planned anytime anything happens]], [[Lorgar|sitting around and preaching constantly]], [[Horus|being]] [[Alpharius|(Maybe)]] [[Konrad Curze|dead]], or [[Primarch#Two Missing Primarchs|being missing]]; Angron actually gets shit done and boy howdy when he [[rage|rages]] his way out of the eye of terror he makes sure that everyone knows about it...by tearing ''everything'' that gets in his way a new one until he finally gets thrown back into the warp by drowning in a quadrillion metric fucktons of [[Imperial Guard|Imperial Guardsmen]], [[Planetary Defense Force | Planetary Defense Force soldiers]], [[Space Marines|Spehss Mehreens]], [[Witch Hunters]], [[Sisters of Battle|Bolter Bitches]], [[Titan|Titans]], [[Stormtrooper|Inquisitorial Stormtroopers]], [[Daemonhunters]], and [[Grey Knights]], but to be fair, everyone kind of does that when the Imperium <strike>finishes the paperwork needed to</strike> retaliates.

This was of course before The Gathering Storm, whereupon Magnus personally attacked [[Fenris]] and laid waste to much of the planet and destroyed a lot of gene-seed, proving that [[Tzeentch]] can get shit done too. Then in 8th edition Mortarion waged [[Plague Wars]] against [[Ultramar]] and established the [[Scourge Stars]] systems in M42. Also it should be noted that Fulgrim has been free of that painting for a while now, but otherwise he still fits in the above category.

He also slaughtered his way throughout Imperial Space for over a century with 50,000 World Eater [[Berserker]]s and destroyed/maimed/killed/burned/broke the backs of/split open/fucked 70 sectors. However, in a subsequent Imperial offensive, Angron was banished to the warp and his men routed. This strike force comprised 2 Titan Legions, ''only'' 4 full Spess Mehreen chapters and over 30 Imperial Guard regiments to do that, so it's suffice to say that the counterattack put up quite a fight against the superior force. But to be fair, Angron's force was only comprised of close combat heavy infantry without ranged support or artillery. Later on, he showed up with an even bigger force to attack Armageddon. The Imperium responded in kind, sending in one hundred [[Grey Knights|Grey Knight Terminators]], and all but ten of them died fighting Angron and his Bloodthirster posse(and only because their prodigy Librarian Hyperion managed to shatter his sword, and he STILL managed to murder their leader with just his bare fists). He is armed with a really huge fucking chainaxe that's taller than him with chainswords for the chainteeth of the chainaxe. He's also got a stormbolter, but we wouldn't be surprised if that fired chainswords as well. Fittingly enough, it was called 'Godtearer'.

==In video games==

Unfortunately, he has appeared in only one of the official games, which greatly displeases [[Khorne]]. However, in the Ultimate Apocalypse mod for [[Dawn of War]], he takes the place of the Chaos Daemons' "game-ending win button" unit - and he's a walking rapetrain that can [[Awesome|obliterate buildings with a single hit, take out Titans in three, make himself invincible, and summon a retinue of Bloodthirsters]]. He can also be almost unkillable by exploiting a bug which lets him instantly refill his morale, which gives him disturbingly fast health regeneration. Too bad you'll almost never use him. He costs so many relic points in an army that consumes them like candy that, if you can spare the points and time to conjure him, chances are you're already winning so badly you don't actually need him. Seriously, for the same number of points it takes to conjure Angron you could just build 5-6 Helldrakes or an equal amount of Bloodthirsters, and keep in mind Chaos Daemons need the same resource for anything greater than lesser Daemons. If you're not spending them on other units you need ''right now'' then you can just overwhelm them with what you already have. Essentially the definition of "awesome but impractical", but sweet jesus is it truly awesome to watch.

Angron shows up in the Horus Heresy:Legions card game, being one of the best warlords, and keeping in with his character he has to attack every turn.

==On the tabletop==

===Heresy===
{| class=wikitable
! || Pts || WS || BS || S || T || W || I || A || Ld || Sv
|-
| '''Angron:''' || 400 || 9 || 5 || 7 || 6 || 5 || 7 || 6(10) || 10 || 3+/4++
|}

Obviously one of the strongest Primarchs in the game when things come to HtH, Angron has a 3+ armor (weak for a demigod), 4+ invulnerable, FNP (the full rule since the 02/11/2019 errata), the Primarch rule, 5 wounds and T6. On the charge he has 7 S9 attacks (6 S8 normally) at WS9 with Hatred, so he gets to reroll to-hit rolls on the first turn of any combat, while also having Armourbane and dealing Instant Death on to wound roll of 6, in case S8-9 doesn't instagib anything right away. Thanks to the Butcher's Nail he will gain 1 bonus attack, up to 10 total attacks, for every Independent Character or Infantry unit he kills/destroys in close combat (But he must be the one to give the fatal blow/remove the last model to pick up this bonus) and he can also challenge as many times as there are Independent Characters and units in combat with him thanks to the Red Sands rule, assuring he will at least pick some extra attacks during the course of the game.

The obvious downsides are that, aside from butchering things in melee, Angron cannot do anything: he doesn't buff his army in any way aside 12" aura of Fearless, while other Primarchs bestow significant buffs to their armies, and of course he is one of the (if not THE) most fragile of the Primarchs, having only 5 wounds and 3+/4++. Having FNP 5+ doesn't fully compensate against mass fire but makes him actually more resilient than most of his brothers against AP2 attacks. So all in all he's much like Kharn on steroids: you reach melee - you're king, you get your transport blown up and then get kited across the table - you're fucked. The other problem he shares with Kharn is that he tends to annihilate anything he charges in one phase either through sweeping advance or just by killing everyone outright, which leaves him vulnerable to enemy fire afterwards.

Honestly, he's not worth it. Between his fragility, low mobility, and lack of army bonuses, he's a tricky Primarch to use. Unfortunate considering his badass fluff.

===40k===
He had stats from an old issue of [[White Dwarf]] that makes him a 500 point walking rapemachine who makes [[Abaddon]] the Despoiler and [[Mephiston]] look like total pussies, but you have to get him a bodyguard of at least 2-12 [[Bloodthirster|bloodthirsters]], which effectively racks up his point cost to over 1300 at the least. But with his mandatory bloodthirster bodyguard he can even kill An'ggrath, the biggest and baddest bloodthirster of them all. But they would never fight in canon because An'ggrath is one of the only entities in the universe that Angron respects due to An'ggrath's equal capacity for [[Rage|RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!]]...<strike>oh and Khorne says his champions can't fight each other because despite being balls-to-the-wall angry, Khorne knows well enough that the more champions he has on his side, the more blood spilled on his behalf. Thus, offing one of his champs is counter-productive since he's losing more than he's eventually gaining.</strike> That sounds like the prissy rationale of someone who's philosophizing when they could be killing! Blood for the Blood God!

With the looming release of 8th Edition, there's a very good chance that Daemon Angron could be getting an actual model and updated stats before long, especially with the news that Armageddon is gonna be playing host to a massive horde of Khornate Daemons called the Blood Crusade. ''You just know'' that Angron is gonna be leading that, back for round 2. After Magnus and the imminent release of Mortarion, Angron and Fulgrim, being the other aligned daemon Primarchs, are strong contenders for release sometime in the next 12 months.

*Still waiting GW. Angron didn't show up to Armageddon, and he didn't show up to Terra, but we know he's coming.
*It is now the eve of 9th edition, and Angron still has not arrived, nor has Fulgrim
*A new excerpt published at the ninth edition release suggests Angron is coming back to Armageddon for a Boogaloo of apocalyptic proportions

==Angron VS other Primarchs:==
<div class="toccolours mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" style="100%">
Primarch fighting, while fun to see, isn't a very competitive thing to do as it'll usually tie up both Primarchs for the entire game without either of them dying (But with Angron this is less likely as you're going to die or kill fast!), with that in mind this section is about how Angron fares against other Primarchs Mathhammer wise. Please note that all the various abilities are taken into accounts when possible and the match-ups assume the Primarchs are the only ones involved in the fighting, so various abilities like Angron's "The Butcher's Nails" and Rampage do not provide any bonuses. The fights are supposed to be in a vacuum for simplicity (So no Furious Charge for our hero...), but notes are added to make things clearer in particular instances. Also all of the Primarchs use their most powerful weapons (because why have a contest if you don't do your best?)
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">

* Angron VS Horus
**Horus turn 1 & 2: hits 3 times, wounds 2.667 times, 0.888 after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.555 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Horus (with Angron wounded twice): hits 3.999 times, wounds 3.555 times, causes 1.185 wounds after saves & FNP, taken to 0.851 with IWND at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 1.48 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.148.
**Angron Wounded: hits 3 times, wounds 1.999 times, 0.666 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Despite a good showing in the first round; when factoring in Disabling Strike the whole thing becomes academic; Horus overtakes Angron in damage capacity after one wound (<2 turns) and quickly beats Angron to a pulp as Angron continues to flail feebly.

* Angron vs Fulgrim
**Fulgrim hits 3.5 times, wounds 2.333 times (2.722 times if his warlord trait is Child of Terra), 1.166 (1.361) times after saves, 0.971 (1.134) after Feel No Pain (remember that half of the attacks that wound cause Instant Death) and IWND will take that down to 0.638 (0.801) wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 1.48 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.148.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.111 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.778 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**A really close fight: Angron does marginally more damage if Fulgrim doesn't chose Child of Terra as his Warlord Trait. With Child of Terra it becomes a battle of attrition that Angron will eventually lose. If Angron gets blinded at any point due to Fulgrim's Gilded Panoply it puts him at a disadvantage he likely wont recover from.

* Angron VS Ferrus
**Ferrus hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.083 times, 0.694 times after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.361 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.185 after saves, and IWND take it down to 0.852.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 0.889 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.556 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Thanks to his upgraded Feel No Pain, Angron can tank more than Ferrus can, resulting in a win.

* Angron VS Konrad Curze
**Curze hits 3 times, wounds 2.25 times, 0.750 wounds after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.417 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 2.222 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.889.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron easily wins, doing a lot more damage and receiving less in turn.
**Note: Curze can Hit & Run, but by doing so he would only gain one more attack, while allowing Angron to reset his Hatred, thus actually making himself die even faster.

* Angron VS Vulkan
**Vulkan hits 2 times, wounds 1.666 times, 0.833 wounds after saves (ID Negates FNP) and IWND will take that down to 0.5 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.185 after saves, and IWND take it down to 0.63.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 0.889 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Vulkan wins (barely). This fight is actually much closer what the simplified maths suggest. Since IWND only comes into affect on the controlling players turn ''(two rounds of combat)'' Each combatant gets their damage output twice before IWND kicks in, so Vulkan's legendary endurance nearly fails him by the second bout of combat on turn four, possibly resulting in a mutual kill.

* Angron vs Mortarion
**Mortarion hits 2.5 times, wounds 1.666 times, 0.833 times after saves (no FNP due to Instant Death) and IWND will take that down to 0.5 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.777 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.222.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 1.333 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.778 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Mortarion loses. Despite having the same reroll on IWND and doing the same damage per turn as Vulkan; even with one extra wound Mortarion's poorer save allows Angron to take him down more quickly.

* Angron VS Lorgar
**Lorgar hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.083 times, 0.694 after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that to 0.361 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 4 times, wounds 3.111 times, 1.555 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.222.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron wins pretty easily.
**Note: against Lorgar Transfigured with Precognition Lorgar wins (Not as easily as the old version, but is still a monster).

*Angron VS Perturabo
**Perturabo hits 2 times, wounds 1.667 times, 0.555 wounds after saves and FNP, then IWND will take that down to 0.222 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 1.48 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.148.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.111 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.778 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron wins.
**Note: in the turn after Perturabo actually wounds Angron (69% per round) he will most probably be blinded and then hammered to death. So if he can't kill him before that he is actually dead meat.

* Angron VS Alpharius
**Alpharius hits 2.917 times, wounds 1.7 times, 0.85 wounds after saves and IWND will take that down to 0.517 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 2.222 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.889.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**As with Vulkan, Angron can't use FNP in this fight due to the Pale Spear's Instant Death, but he still easily takes the win.

* Angron VS Rogal Dorn
**Dorn hits 2 times, wounds 1.5 times, 0.499 wounds after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.167 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Dorn (Sundering Blow) hits once, wounds 0.972 times, 0.486 wounds after saves (No FNP due to Instant Death), taken to 0.152 at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.777 after saves, and IWND take it down to 1.444.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4 times, wounds 2.667 times, 1.333 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**This is probably Angron's easiest fight.
**Note: Sundering Blow cancels out Feel No Pain so it was worth calculating. Turns out it makes no difference here; Dorn has too few attacks to make a difference either way.

* Angron VS Corvus Corax
**Corvus hits 4 times (Scourge)/3 times (Shadow-walk), wounds 3 times (Scourge)/2.25 times (Shadow-walk), 0.999 wounds (Scourge)/0.750 wounds (Shadow-walk) after saves and FNP and IWND will take that down to 0.666/0.417 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333/4.5 times, wounds 4.444/3.75 times, 2.963/2.5 after saves, and IWND take it down to 2.63/2.167.
**Angron Round 2 and thereafter: hits 4/3 times, wounds 3.333/2.5 times, 2.222/1.667 times after saves and IWND will take that down to 1.889/1.333 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron wins really easily as Corax is simply too frail for him.
**Note: differently from Curze, Corax would actually have the edge on the charge thanks to his Sire of the Raven Guard rule and his Hammer of Wrath/dual Archeotech Pistols. Also in a turn in which blind goes off he could have the advantage of Shadow-walk and scourge at the same times (plus more, 'cause he would hit on 3s). A tough fight, but more on his style and it could make him win in extremis.

* Angron VS Roboute Guilliman
**Angron Round 1: Angron has Hatred, so on the first turn he will hits 5.333 times, wounds 4.444 times, 2.222 after saves, 1.972 after Armour of Reason re-roll and IWND take it down to 1.639.
**Angron Round 2: Angron hits 4 times, wounds 3.333 times, 1.667 times after saves, 1.417 after re-roll and IWND will take that down to 1.084 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 3 and thereafter: Angron hits 3 times, wounds 2.5 times, 1.25 after saves and 1 after re-roll. Then IWND take it down to 0.667.
**Guilliman Round 1/2/3: hits 2.5 times, wounds 2.222 times, 0.741 times after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.407 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Guilliman Round 4 and thereafter: hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.963 times, 0.987 times after saves and FNP, and IWND will take that down to 0.654 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Unsurprisingly, Guilliman loses this fight.

*Angron vs Magnus
**Angron first round: hits 4.5 times, wounds 3.75 times and 1.875 after saves which IWND will take down to 1.542 at the start of next turn
**Angron second round: hits 3 times, wounds 2.5 times and 1.25 after saves which IWND will take down to 0.917 at the start of next turn
**Magnus: hits twice, wounds 1.667 times, reducing to 0.557 after saves & FNP. Then IWND will take down to 0.222 at the start of next turn
**Magnus (using Force): hits twice, wounds 1.667, reduces to 0.834 after saves. IWND brings this to 0.5 at the start of the next turn.
**Psychic powers normally don't get included in the PvP breakdowns, but Magnus is the only one with a Force Weapon so it was worth mentioning. Either way you look at it, Magnus loses this one pretty badly. Things would obviously be different if other powers were included.
**As with psychic powers in general in 30k, this fight is really swingy based on what powers Magnus takes. If he can roll Iron arm and Warp speed with a power left to generate then he could take Prescience to actually gain a decent chance of winning. At the same time he could also have a tough time in power generation and get squished.

*Angron VS Leman Russ
**Angron Round 1: Angron has Hatred and is hitting on a 5+, so he hits 3.333 times, wounds 2.778 times, invul save brings it down to 1.389 and IWND brings it to 1.056 wounds.
**Angron Round 2 and on: Angron is hitting on 5s, so hits 2 times, wounds 1.666 times, saves brings it down to .833 and IWND brings it 0.5
**Leman hits Angron 3.214 times, wounds 2.678 times, save brings it down to 1.339, FNP brings it 0.892 and IWND brings it down 0.559
**As expected Angron loses this fight. Angron puts up a reasonable fight but the wolf king is just much for him.
**TLDR: Without the Sword of Balelight, the fight is very close. Sword of Balelight is pretty busted.

* Angron VS Jaghatai
**Jaghatai (on Bike) hits 4 times, wounds 2 times, 1 wounds after saves and FNP will take that down to 0.666 and IWND will take that down to 0.333
**Angron Round 1: hits 5.333 times, wounds 3.555 times, 1.185 wounds after saves, and IWND take it down to 0.852 at the start of the next turn.
**Angron Round 2: hits 4 times, wounds 2.666 times, 0.888 wounds after saves, IWND will take that down to 0.556 wounds at the start of the next turn.
**Angrons wins, and if Jaghatai uses hit-and-run he'll get destroyed even faster.

* Angron vs Sanguinius
**Sanguinius charging: hits 4 times (3.5 times with Blade Encarmine), wounds 3.999 times (double wounds taken into account) (3.111 with Encarmine), becomes 1.999 (1.037 with Encarmine & FNP) after saves
***Sanguinius Hammer of Wrath: 1 autohit, wounds 0.833 times, becomes 0.277 after saves and FNP.
***Total combined damage on charge 2.276 (1.314), taken to 1.944 (0.981) next turn with IWND
**Sanguinius thereafter: hits 3.5 times (3 times with Blade Encarmine), wounds 2.333 times (double wounds taken into account)(2.666 with Encarmine), taken to 1.166 after saves (0.888 with Encarmine + FNP), taken to 0.8333 (0.555) next turn with IWND
**Angron Round 1: hits 4.5 times, wounds 3.75 times, becomes 1.875 after saves (0.938 if Sanguinius charged). IWND takes it to 1.54 (0.604) next turn
**Angron thereafter: hits 3 times, wounds 2.5 times, becomes 1.25 after saves and IWND takes it to 0.917 next turn
***There is a lot going on with this fight depending on what Sanguinius is doing. With the Spear of Telesto, from a standing start or if Angron charges there is a mutual kill by about the fifth bout of combat. If Sanguinius can get the charge he wins.
***With the Blade Encarmine there is a close mutual kill if Sanguinius charges, but Angron wins from a standing start or if he charges. Feel No Pain really makes the difference.

* TLDR version: Despite being mocked for ''only'' having 3+/4++ in saves and fewer wounds than everyone but Lorgar (or Corax on a bad day), Angron is surprisingly resilient thanks to his FNP(5+). He will outpace most opponents thanks to his high number of attacks and good WS, so those who can't match his output turn-for-turn can only hope to outlast him. Angron is pretty vulnerable to Strikedown, Concussive, Blind, and basically any rule which reduces his ability to hit things ''(eg: Horus & Russ)'', all of which will severely cripple his overall damage potential. Keep in mind, as mentioned above, this is without any benefits from his The Butcher's Nails rule. With his attacks maxed out he can destroy almost any other Primarch (even Lorgar with Precognition, though it is damn close) with the exception of a few like Russ and...yeah, you guessed it right: Horus! Although he will surely put a dent even in the Warmaster.
</div></div>

==Gallery==
<gallery>
File:Past-Angron-art.jpg| You'd be pissed off too if your dad didn't let you avenge your dog.
File:Past-Angron.jpg|
File:Angaron.jpg|WHY IS HE BEATING UP HIS OWN LEGION said everyone on Isstvan III. Proof that Angron was actually a Loyalist Primarch. Don't believe the Chaos Lies!
File:Angron.jpg|Can [[Anime|Vegeta]] say what his power level is?
File:Angron Butchers Nails.jpg|Angron before Daemonhood. The only real difference is a lack of wings.
File:Aerion's Angron.jpg|Angron portrayed in his natural state: PISSED THE FUCK OFF!
File:Angron by alexboca-d7930i6.jpg|Angron just generally being a boss (and looking absolutely goddamn awesome while doing so). And you call the epic ness that he wears "3+" greatly displeases khorne and teh emprah
File:angron_is_for_angry_by_sunradio-d6oferw.jpg|Daemon Primarch Angron at the final battle of the First war of Armageddon.
File:Happy angron.jpg|Angron can be happy too!
</gallery>

==See Also==
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKPVNaKvODw&t=0s| They hit him with a truck!]

----
Angron also supposedly wrote some stuff called the Clotted Scrolls. What this means is unknown

{{Primarchs}}
{{Daemons-Characters}}

[[category:Chaos]]

Khorne

2020-07-26T22:25:44Z

2601:585:8301:76D0:748C:B105:AA91:7BA4: /* Champions Of Khorne */

[[File:Khorne mark.png|center]]
{{heresy}}
{{awesome}}
[[File:khorne_by_baklaher-d7335e6.jpg|500px|thumb|right|Special K in all his glory, Sitting comfortably on his Skull Throne, being pissed off at everyone and everything.]]<div style="font-size:1.10em;font-weight:bold;font-style:italic;font-family:serif;margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em"><span style='color:red;font-size:100%'> BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES! <br>- The creed of Khorne being Overused to Death'''</span></div>

{{Topquote|Anger, which, far sweeter than trickling drops of honey, rises in the bosom of a man like smoke.|Homer}}

{{Topquote|The important thing in life is not victory but combat: it is not to have vanquished but to have fought well.|Pierre de Coubertin}}

{{Topquote|War is the father of all.|Heraclitus}}

{{Topquote|Who was the first that forged the deadly blade? Of rugged steel his savage soul was made.|Tibullus}}

{{Topquote|War does not determine who is right - only who is left.|Bertrand Russell}}

{{Topquote|Battle is the most magnificent competition in which a human being can indulge.|General George S. Patton}}

==Introduction==
[[RAGE|'''Khorne''']], also known as Kharnath, Arkhar, Khorgar, [[Viking|Kjorn]], Khar, the Great Brass Bull, the Bloody Handed, the Axefather, the Bloodwolf, The Great Khorneholio, Special K, the [[Ulric|Wolf-Father]], Frowny Face McMurderaxe, Sergeant Slaughter, the Lord of Fighters, the Messiah of Mayhem, Call of Duty: Demon DLC, [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|The Paraplegic Sociopath]], [[If_the_Emperor_had_a_Text-to-Speech_Device|MegaSatan]], Definitely not fucking Khaine, [[Dwarf Fortress|Armok]], Stone cold Steve Austin, Daddy’s little princess and 8452 other names is the [[Chaos God]] of war, murder, savagery, hatred (though he is starting to question that one at times thinking it belongs more to [[Slaanesh|his arch enemy]] than it does him), murder, destruction, rage, wrath, murder, battle, barbarism and [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs|manliness]]...oh and did we mention murder. He is also the mofo that the Klingons worship. As well as this he symbolises courage, athleticism, determination, daring, discipline, sportsmanship, honor, impulsiveness, struggling onward in the face of any odds, and survival of the fittest. But mostly he's simply about being angry.

He is commonly held to be the strongest [[Chaos]] God by default (though this is technically incorrect)and is associated with wolves and powerful hunting dogs, as well as lions and bulls. For another reason that is likely inspired by occultism, Khorne's sacred numbers Four and eight - and thus, his followers tend to organize themselves into groups of fours, eights and there multiples. Fun fact, this also means that the names of Khornate daemons are usually comprised of eight letters...Though exceptions exist. (The Chinese, Vietnamese, and Koreans value the number 8 due to its similarity with the Chinese character for prosperity does that make them Khornate worshippers?)
[[File:SkullThrone.jpg|400px|right|thumb|The Big K in all his glory contemplating on whose rectum he is going to shove his chainaxe into with extreme prejudice.(Spoiler: its everyone)]]
Khorne, by virtue of being the most prominent Chaos God, is also the second most powerful general "deity" in both iterations of Warhammer (Nurgle has him beat but only because of the fact that everything eventually comes to him) In both versions of Warhammer, his followers are characterized by an overbearing need to spill blood and engage in honest battle, as well as a violent code of martial honour and a "survival of the fittest" approach to morality. They tend to be dutiful, as well, but said duties involve whacking their axes into their enemy and painting their blood all over villages gargling their blood as mouthwash (if only because Khorne's only real command is to spill worthy blood in his name).

This is where Khorne and Slaanesh generally clash Directly and openly directly and openly as enemy gods, Despite the fact that everyone in the warp hates Slaanesh. While Khorne instills discipline, honor and a sense of selfless duty in his followers to obey a single purpose (usually spill blood in his name), Slaanesh is the polar opposite. Slaanesh instead tells his/her followers to do <strike>whoever</strike> whatever they want in their own selfish pursuit of pleasure, caring not for the consequences of their actions (e.g; using your authority to hoard food from your starving citizens, so you can indulge in bottomless gluttony every day).

This is also why Khorne is at odds with Tzeentch: Tzeentch sees things like honor and discipline as unnecessary hamstrings towards one's advancement and opts that everything is on the table when one wishes to further their position (why duel your Lord for his position when you could arrange for an "accident" to befall him, instead? Sure its a low-blow, but if your lord was too stupid to see that car bomb coming, was he really deserving of royalty?). The same can be said of his disdain for sorcery. Tzeentch thinks that mortals using the power of the gods themselves is fair game in their pursuit of progress (so long as you can control it), while Khorne thinks that using anything else but your own strength alone means you are weak and his "survival of the fittest" ideal has no place for you.
That being said they have some points they agree on. for example using the power of the gods to augment your abilities (i.e. Cloaking your weapons in Warp-fire or Warp-Lightning), can be interpreted as simply using your power to control the power of the gods for your benefit. They also think it looks awesome, And Khorne is perfectly fine with using underhanded message to deal with someone who is not worth your time (i.e. A “governor” of Jopall), which tzeentch finds interesting.

Khorne also has the distinction of being the only Chaos God (or any god for that matter) whose word you can take at face value. The other gods don't realize that disdain for scheming and backstabbing isn't the same as being stupid. Nor do they realize that over-complicating things is actually the worst thing a planner can do. The more unnecessary variables to a plan, the easier it is for something to break. ([[Just as Planned|that said Tzeentchian plans have divination included into them, eliminating most tactical miscalculations]], [[Not as Planned|unless Tzeentch wanted it to happen.]]). So - you actually want results? Be practical. Involve only as many steps as you need. Beat someone until they're reduced to a bloody smear on the ground - no step 2 required.

Basically, Khorne isn't a stupid brute, he's actually pretty smart. The god of battles knows a thing or two about tactics and warfare. That said, Khorne's doctrine is inflexible. One, straightforward approach to anything. Simply put: Break everything in half. Which means that it all rides on an "all-or-nothing" deal. If his battering ram approach doesn't work there's little to be done to salvage the situation beyond everyone dying a glorious death. Usually this isn't the case for most battles, the Khornates' overwhelming need to quench their bloodlust gets in the way of reorganization. Of course, if things go according to plan, there are only few things that can stop the demonically-possessed no brakes hate train.

If Khorne had a voice actor it would have been BRIAN BLESSED but BRIAN chose Gotrek instead, the rejection sending Khorne's rage to new heights (unsubstantiated rumors say Khorne's considered sending Skulltaker and Karnak after BRIAN BLESSED, but Khorne realized all he'll get from that is two dead daemons with burst eardrums).

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8ZqFlw6hYg Here is his theme song.]
===Appearance===
Khorne is described as resembling a giant, iron-hewed warrior clad in red armour, with a massive sword and a winged helm that conceals a snarling face like that of a wolf. This humanoid form could be seen as something darkly meaningful, were it not for the fact that more or less everyone in both settings is conveniently human-shaped.
[[File:Khorne First.jpg|thumb|right|400px|The first depiction of Khorne in Warhammer art.]]
Of course, most artists at GW forget that he's supposed to look a giant Chaos Warrior and instead make him look like an overgrown Bloodthirster on a chair.

===Khorne and His Worship===
Khorne is the easiest god ever to worship. Where [[Tzeentch|other]], [[Slaanesh|more]] [[Nurgle|pussified]] gods may demand you to memorize overly long prayers and hymns, or to build huge houses of worship and other such unmanly bullshit, Khorne is venerated with one thing and one thing only: the time-honoured tradition of [[rip and tear|hack'n'slash]].

Khorne is worshipped on the battlefield. His hymns are the sound of steel on steel, his sacraments are the blows of hammer and axe, his only prayer the bellowing of the warcry "Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne!" and his libation is the blood spilled in his name.

In essence, you worship Khorne by being a good warrior. And as a warrior, you'll find your interests and his tend to generally align; he wants death but isn't picky on who, and you want to live to fight another day. Thus, the mere act of preserving your life will earn the pleasure of the god of battle. In a setting where there is no peace, only war, Khorne is always going to be massively powerful. Further, most of the armies embody one of his aspects - [[Space Marine|Powerful]] and [[Necron|fearless]] warriors are the [[Chaos|chosen]] of Khorne, but he favors those who use [[Ork|brute force assaults]] carried out with [[Tyranid|singular purpose and no remorse]] just as well. [[Just As Planned|Khorne wins in fights his forces weren't even involved in]].

However, Khorne is one of those honourable war-gods. So don't think that beating your enemies by anything other than sheer strength, skill and aggression will make him happy. And for the love of Sigmar/Emprah, don't try to cheat by picking fights with the weak or helpless or by giving him baby skulls. Khorne expects a form of savage, viking-esque dignity from his followers and for them to be generally [[Fist of the North Star|manly]], this means you have to fight worthy opponents and those generally able to at least hold up a sword. ''Only after'' the worthwhile enemies are out of the way; then you can gorge yourself on the blood of women and children all you want (or make them fight amongst themselves and recruit the survivors, or enslave them, or whatever). Most of the writers forget this, thinking that Khorne really gives no fucks about what you kill, and it makes Khorne [[Rage|snarl in anger]]. Though he continues to send his flesh-hounds to hunt down those who flee and abandon their brothers on the battlefield, be they Chaos or non-Chaos.

Aside from that and (obviously) never backing down from a fight, Khorne has no commandments whatsoever. But deviating from the aforementioned in the slightest is begging for the flesh-hounds to tear your ass apart.

Such as it is, it would be incorrect to think Khorne doesn't have priests dedicated to him. Though, being a warrior god, these priests tend to be warriors themselves and are often marked by their god. In essence, the only difference between them and a Chaos marauder/Space Marine is several pounds of armour. In Warhammer Fantasy, these priests are called 'Bloodfathers', and in lieu of magic that is gifted to their priests by other gods, Khorne just gives [[AWESOME|HOLYSHITAWESOME]] fighting skills and visions of bloodshed. In [[Age of Sigmar]], they're called Slaughterpriests and they basically lead by example, killing while screaming out Khorne's name. If the killing is good enough, Khorne will empower the priest and/or his allies; but if the killing is unworthy, the priest himself will feel Khorne's wrath.

Khorne is also venerated by working brass into your armour and weapons and donning fashionable high collars. Occasionally, a warrior so pleases Khorne that he gifts him with specially made ones that in addition to looking fabulous can also grant total fucking immunity to magic. After all, who needs spellcasting when you can make a motherfucker's spine disappear - with your bare hands no less?

Anyway, Khorne is worshiped by warriors, generals and basically anyone who likes battle. His chosen Space Marines legion is of course the World Eaters, in Warhammer Fantasy, the Norscans tend to venerate him with the greatest piety, especially the Aesling tribe, who are Khorne's most devoted servants in Fantasy.

===Khorne's take on magic===
As posted some time ago by an Anon who managed to perfectly sum up what Khorne's opinion on magic is: FUCK WIZARDS!!!!

While that's a pretty accurate summation, there's also some nuance to it that is not at all helped by GW's habit of changing things every new edition or keeping shit consistent between writers. With that in mind, let's get into the details of what the "FUCK WIZARDS" thing means.

The hate of psykers/wizards/etc is pretty much the exact same and works by the same logic for both Khornates and the Adepta Sororitas/Black Templars/etc: it's a [[Conan the Barbarian|Conan-esque]] swords and sorcery thing. Khornates hate wizards for [[3e|trivializing encounters with a single spell and overshadowing fighters]] and turning what should be a clash of might or a military endeavor into a weird wizard show where people turn into frogs and beguile their opponents into killing one another. They hate Slaaneshi for the same reason, due to how they often take what should be a wholesome murderfest and make it into something creepy and weird, what with them "discomporting themselves with the dead" and all that. In Realms of Chaos, its entirely possible for a librarian or wizard to go to Khorne; they just refrain from using their psi/magic powers for anything else but resisting spells in combat from that point onward.

Khorne and his followers are okay with laser beams. They are okay with sniper rifles. They are okay with flaming swords. They are okay with running people over with tanks. They are okay with blitzkriegs. They are okay with chemical gas. They are okay with holocausts. They are okay with exterminatus. They are okay with good tactics. They are okay with berserker charges. They are okay with honorable duels at dawn.

They are ''not'' okay with turning people to frogs, mind control, raining glitterdust from the skies to blind everyone, raising armies of zombies to do the killing for you, and so forth. They are not okay with someone pointing a finger and their opponent dropping dead. And they are most definitely not okay with someone who got their power solely by bargaining with daemons instead of earning it themselves. (While it's quite possible to get power via daemonic bargains and not earn Khorne's ire, that requires you to have already become a powerful fighter or be willing to risk death and inflict grievous bodily harm on others, i.e. ''earning'' it.)

They are okay with daemonic summoning rituals because Khorne's daemons are all about the hack-and-slash ultraviolence. They are okay with using psychic abilities or daemonic aid to navigate the warp because that means they don't end up crashing into suns or getting whisked to some distant corner of the universe where there's nothing worthwhile to kill. They are okay with sending and receiving astropathic messages because they recognize the value of relatively fast interstellar communication. They are okay with chaining wizards up and forcing them to eternally forge magic items on pain of death because that lets the fighters kill things more easily.

One may consider it hypocritical that Khornates are okay with blatantly unfair TECHNOLOGICAL murder, but not okay with blatantly unfair MIND/MAGICAL murder. The point, or at least one interpretation, is that wizards/psykers fucking cheat. They do. They steal the power of the Warp for their own ends. As long as they stay in line, and do nothing but permit the warrior to enact his craft as he so wills, fine, let them live (albeit in terror and likely enslaved by chains of brass) until the day they are no longer useful, at which point their skulls can join Khorne's throne.

But stealing the Gods' own fire and using it to do what mortals should do through their own skill and strength is unacceptable. Remember that technology is completely valid to Khorne. Stealth is completely valid to Khorne. Skill is completely valid to Khorne. Cleverness is completely valid to Khorne. The nuclear bomb and other innovations that come after it could be seen to be unfair. But it is a mortal invention. Mortals should give honor to Khorne by murdering each other through the sweat of their brow. Granted the lines got pretty blurry when AoS introduced the Slaughterpriest.

The scientist who devises new ways to kill is a saint. His work can be put to any other use -- [[Slaanesh|enriching human life]], [[Nurgle|ending hunger, fighting diseases]], [[Tzeentch|answering great questions]]. But the scientist who devises new bombs and weapons is, in his own way, a champion of Khorne. He takes his limitless human potential and nobly limits himself to new ways to kill. Whether you kill with a sword or a bomb, you are killing using good old fashioned mortal strength and genius. You aren't stealing warp energy from the gods in the form of a fireball and cravenly calling it your own.

The forger of enchanted weapons, though deserving of slavery and abuse as all wizards are until the day they die, is an ideal symbol. It is fitting that spell energy is subjugated to and entombed within cold steel, just as wizards deserve to be subjugated to warriors until they lie cold and headless in the ground or else burnt to ash. The magic weapon is a symbol of might's superiority to magic.

The jury is still out on how okay Khorne is with magically imbued people who didn't get their power from him, but [[Tzeentch|given]] [[Nurgle|the]] [[Slaanesh|other]] [[God-Emperor_of_Mankind|possible]] [[Sigmar|benefactors]], he's probably not the biggest fan.

Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne! When the Galaxy burns, we will define righteousness!

tl;dr Magic is unmanly, grab a sword (or a 16-inch battleship cannon, if that's your thing) and go kill like a real man already.

===Khorne and other Chaos gods===
As a rule, Khorne despises [[Slaanesh]] because they're an effeminate milk-sop who can't grow a beard or swing an axe like they've got a pair (even though Slaanesh probably has the biggest pair, but less on that), and also because he personifies acting outwardly (ie: seeking the deaths of others), while Slaanesh acts inwardly (ie: seeking their own pleasure). Khorne also finds Slaanesh's obsession with luxury and torture wasteful and dishonorable. Slaanesh is about living it up while Khorne is about tearing it the fuck down. Not to mention its apparent belief that those who wrong you are meant to suffer for it, which Khorne surprisingly doesn't agree with. One of the few Slaaneshi things Khorne ''doesn't'' have a problem with is the desire for perfection in battle; spending year after year training to master an aspect of combat, constantly pushing your limits and never being satisfied until you get it ''just right'' is a perfectly acceptable way to live, so long as you remember to shed blood and take skulls.

Khorne also hates [[Tzeentch]] - though they are not fundamental rivals - because his reliance on magic is seen as a sign of weakness and his desire not to face his foes in person is decried by Khorne as cowardly. Khorne sees his penchant for deceit and trickery as dishonorable. Also, Khorne prefers muscles over books (plus Tzeentch is a huge NEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD). Tactics and stratagems are all well and good because that's how armies win and seemingly-doomed warriors eke out a victory against

Khorne thinks he hates [[Nurgle]] also, because while the ability to endure immense pain is good - great, even! - and calmly acknowledging defeat is just as acceptable as trying to kill your opponent with the last dregs of strength your dying body has left, the fat fuck doesn't even try to get shit done. Thus, his embodiment as sloth runs contrary to the active, vital aspect of Khorne, but he's all for death if its by homicide or genocide.

There's also [[Solkan]], the not-Chaos Chaos God of Law and a rival of Khorne, being the only Chaos god that can match him in sheer RAAAAEG. Khorne likes to sit back and have a chuckle at Solkan's outbursts, if only because the last time he actually tried to move in on Solkan's turf he lost that fight. Not even the Blood God can top the sexually frustrated wrath of a guy looking for his [[Arianka|sisterwife]].

Of all the Chaos gods, Khorne actually hates [[Malal]] the least. For one thing, he respects the lost god for sticking to his guns: he hates the other gods, wants them dead and is actively working towards that goal. Since Nurgle just sits there being a scabby procrastinator, Tzeentch just has to have his fingers in everyone's business and Slaanesh is fucking Slaanesh (really, they are), this is something Khorne can sympathize with. Also, Malal is one of the only chaos gods to put up a halfway decent fight when Khorne manages to find him, which would mean that they would be best buds if Malal wasn't a self-destructive, omnicidal lunatic.

In short, he has problems with almost everyone and pissed at almost everyone, including you even if you worship him (usually it's a matter of how pissed he is at you). And they hate him too, except for Nurgle, who's too nice to hate anyone. If you earn his respect however, he will give you it (he has high standards though, meeting them is quite hard.)

===Khorne and non-Chaotic Gods===
Well, [[Ulric]] is his little brother and they tend to get along rather well. Ulric's still ridiculing Khorne over the fact that one of his greatest champions, Haargroth, got his head smashed in by Ulric's Ar-Ulric, Khorne usually replies by pointing out that ''Storm of Chaos'' isn't canon anymore. Not that that stops Ulric. Khorne and Ulric often get into arguments over which one of them is moar Viking; with Khorne usually winning by pointing out that his top worshipers actually are Vikings and that he has a Valkyrie. They also settle this with arm wrestling and drinking contests. There's a lot of belligerence, but you can sense the brotherly love underneath. Indeed, it's kind of a [[Fist of the North Star|Raoh/Ken relationship]].

Despite both being war-gods, Khorne has a poor relationship with [[Myrmidia]]. Khorne, despite being a master of tactics and sieges and the finer points of warfare, vastly prefers a manly head-on charge, and Myrmidia's sissy "planning" approach to warfare therefore offends Khorne. Most meetings between the Blood God and the Maiden of Strategy end with the Blood God fuming impotently because his strict code of martial honour does not permit him to hit girls (or pull their hair) and retreating to his tree house.

Khorne is the only Chaos God who tolerates Sigmar because he thinks he's pretty bad-ass AND respects the idea of a mortal man becoming a god. That and Sigmar's comic book series, Sigmar the Emprahrian, has great splashpages of fights and no SWORDSWORDSWORDS. However, this tolerance is only one-sided, and while Khorne respects him, it doesn't mean he won't try to put an axe in his head for being an sworn enemy of Chaos.

When asked about the [[Emperor]], Khorne usually responds with a streaming torrent of bloody curses and oaths which causes a bloody froth to start leaking from his helmet. In short, he is remarkably indifferent to the old man. Ironically, they share many of the same beliefs: They both disliked psykers, they both have a kick ass thrones, and they both have units dedicated to close combat. Hell, even the Emprah's head is a skull. What's not to like...oh maybe the fact that he's a COMPLETE FUCKING HYPOCRITE!

Khorne is utterly sick and tired of anyone who dares associate him with [[Khaine|40Khaine]]. Before eviscerating anyone who makes that connection, he will often give a short PowerPoint presentation, explaining how Khaine is an honourless god of murder and sadism while he himself is a god of honourable and forthright battle and courage, and how sadism is contrary to his code (Khorne indeed used to be about honorable combat, but now he's just about mindless violence and hating everyone for either piss-poor reasons or for no reason at all. Goddammit, GW). Khorne then reiterates that Khaine's elfishness and love for scantily clad women is sickening and makes him more like Slaanesh and trashes the elf god in a brutal punching bag sorta way like the prince of pleasure... Of course, this is just a front on Khorne's part. Khaine's love of war combined with his elfness and that his most ardent worshippers are scantily-clad women proves Khaine to be the secret love-child of Khorne and Slaanesh (tsundere confir- *sounds of violent, painful evisceration* '''{{Blam|WHO DARES? IN MY OWN PAGE, OF ALL THINGS? FUCK YOUUUUUUUU}}''' <span style='color:purple;font-size:100%'>'''''[[Slaanesh|Search your feelings you know it to be true]].</span>

That being said, Khaine does have a dual nature in Fantasy thanks to being worshiped by [[Dark Elves]] and paid respect to by [[High Elves]], where one side is indeed honorable and just wants to keep fighting and being badass which means Khorne can tolerate him approximately half the time. The fact that both are patrons of [[Blood Bowl]] teams is usually the common ground, with Khaine and Khorne crashing/trashing some other God's house to watch on game nights while downing can after can of Bloodweisers and shoveling Dwarf Rinds in their faces. Khaine periodically tries to invade the realm of Khorne whenever the Khornate team beats the Dark Elf team, with such meetings ending with Kaine being khorne punching bag and letting his servants brutally take their anger on the incapacitated god and his elven servants. When Khaine's team beats Khorne's, Khorne takes out his aggression by beating the fuck out of Slaanesh (no homo) while Dark Elves go on safari hunting [[Warriors of Chaos|Khorne's worshipers]].

Khorne has absolutely no patience for the [[Horned Rat]], who is a favorite of Nurgle and Tzeentch respectively. It's a weak vermin whose very existence pisses him off. As a result, Khorne is much more fond of [[Sotek]] who encourages killing the fuck out of [[Skaven]] whenever they appear, and is also a fan of blood sacrifice (the fact that Sotek wants hearts and cares nothing for skulls is reassuring since they don't intrude on each other's fetish); this fondness is entirely one-sided.

Like the other Chaos Gods, Khorne has no fucking clue what the Great Maw is. However, it doesn't seem to complain when [[Ogre Kingdoms|Ogres]] worship Khorne, so he's got nothing against him...her...it...schclim...whatever, the big god-thing that wants to eat.

The pantheon of the [[Tomb Kings]] mostly stick to themselves, so Khorne only knows they exist..

Khorne is impressed with the [[Bretonnia|Bretonnian]] race by the fact they're the epitome of honor and glorious valor. On the other hand, their entire race has been tricked by a single fucking Elf Goddess into doing their every command which fills Khorne with incomprehensible fury. As it stands, the first being that's going to get the axe when Khorne manages to get an avatar to manifest in the material plane is Lileath.

[[Mork]] and [[Gork]]/Gork and Mork are Khorne's old drinking buddies. They piss him off more than any other beings in existence, but after a good 3-way beatdown and a few billion cases of squig beer he realizes they're alright company.

Khorne has a feeling that he'd get along with the gods of the [[Dwarfs]], but even their introductions (being long ass winded descriptions of their primary worshipers and their lineages) irritate him so much he can't even get into a conversation with them. One of them is STILL giving his own introduction, and has been for about 20,000 years or so now (and he hasn't even reached the changes that have happened since he started). Unable to make him aware of what's going on around him, Khorne simply moved him into the guest room and bricked it off with a wall of skulls.

As for the [[Tyranid|Bugs?]], Khorne hates them '''''Especially''''' due to them not having real blood, just vile alien ichor.

==His portrayal in Warhammer Fantasy==
He's a half-way mythologically accurate version of [[Viking|Odin]], whose very name means Fury (and one translation means 'frenzy'). You could also make the case that Khorne is Thor minus any protective instincts towards humanity, as both are whirling vortices of blood and spit who are associated with the colour red and its connotation of anger.

No, that's it. Get the fuck out; he's an axe-crazy, psychopathic, evil-as-balls daemonic version of Odin - so basically the Norse god of wisdom, with wisdom actually treated the way Vikings would have recognized. Currently there's a bit of a debate about how much of Odin he represents (see discussion page) so this bit will list the similarities and some of the differences.

Well, for one thing, Chaos worshipers in Warhammer Fantasy actually are Vikings. Read about them [[Warriors of Chaos|here]]. Secondly, Khorne is closely associated with wolves in that setting (one of Odin's names literally translates to 'Battle Wolf'), and even has a wolf-like pet in Karanak, thus, fulfilling a role similar to Freki and Geri, or more closely, Garmr (having three heads, Karnak also parallels Cerberus from Greek Mythology). Also, it's revealed in Knight of the Realm that Khorne owns two hunting wolves/giant fleshhounds called Garmr and Gormr, with whom he partakes in a wild hunt across the heavens.

Another point of similarity is that both Odin and Khorne are war gods explicitly connected with berserker rage. They have their own warrior-cults associated with them who fight with said rage and Odin's Olfhednar are practically the same as Khorne's Chosen in both form and function.

Additionally, thanks to Valkia, Khorne also has a Valkyrie to further the similarity between him and Odin. This was inevitable, of course, given that the Warriors of Chaos are indeed an evil version of the Vikings as has already been stated. It should also be noted that Valkia's similarity to the Valkyries is not a superficial one. She is actually referred to as 'the Sword-Maiden of the Blood God' in the WoC codex, and is Khorne's Chooser of the Slain who carries those worthy champions and warriors of his to fight on in the Blood God's halls after death.

Finally, we got a glimpse of his neck of the Realm of Chaos in the Valkia novel written by Sarah Cock-well. It was basically Chaos Valhalla, and here's some of his quotes:

"A cleaved head no longer plots." "A head stuck on a pike no longer conspires." "Put to the sword they who disagree."

Now for the differences, aside from the obvious physical ones Odin also scries, it's woman's magic taught to him by Frigg and Freya. He's got the rage, yeah, but he's also all about fate and averting ragnarok, (directly opposed to Khorne's goals) even if he knows he can't stop it since fate works that way; in that regard Khorne is more like Surtr from Norse Mythology (the fiery giant who wages war and brings flames that would consume the Earth - the instigator of Ragnarok). We see this in the Havamal, Grimnismal, the Voluspa, and the Lokasenna. Hell, in Lokasenna, we learn he cross dresses, ie was tied into shamanic practices (Indo-Europeans have a thing for seers in drag). He can also get to Tzeentch levels with his planning and Odin's perfectly fine with Runic magic, whereas Khorne hates that shit.

==Champions Of Khorne==
===In 40K===

* [[Kharn the Betrayer]]: Embodiment of Crazy Awesome and Patron Saint of fun guys everywhere. Kharn is Khorne's greatest mortal champion in 40K and has a wholly deserved reputation as a team-killing nutso. Once upon a time, Kharn was a straight-laced, meticulous Assault Captain of the World Eaters 8th company. [[Horus Heresy|After a certain chain of events]] he dedicated himself wholly to Khorne, thus becoming one of the most fucking lethal warriors in the galaxy as well as probably the most religiously devoted of Khorne's servants. Also notable for shattering two entire Space Marine legions by himself with a flamethrower in a single night. Despite this, since his first appearance (where he was no different from other Berzerkers) he became more and more coolheaded when not in combat (and even then there are moments when he is coolheaded in combat). He's become a swell guy because of this.

* [[Angron]]: '''HE! GETS! SHIT! DONE!!!''''. Khorne's foremost Daemon Prince alongside Doombreed. PERIOD.
**Ironically he was a complete failure as a Primarch and child of the emperor. Considering he was nearly killed by a horde of mortals before the emperor stopped them.

* [[Doombreed]]: Khorne's greatest Daemon Prince ever and possibly either Genghis Khan or Turgeis the Devil IRL (probably Genghis Khan, Turgeis the Devil's infamy mostly came from cowardly tactics - he attacked churches because non-combatants like clergymen and monks didn't put up the best fights and to steal all the holy relics and decoration made from precious metals). Notable for launching an actually successful Dark Crusade that wiped out two Space Marine chapters. Which is more than a [[Abaddon|certain armless failure has pulled off]].

* [[Svane Vulfbad]]: EVEN IN 40K KHORNE'S CHOSEN ARE VIKINGS. Svane Vulfbad was a motherfucking badass [[Awesome|Chaos Terminator Space Wolf Chaos Lord]] who grew tired of the Imperium's sickening effeminate inability to GET SHIT DONE and the Space Wolves' sickening fur-fetishes and instead decided to dedicated himself to a god worthy of his kickassery. He thus became a badass Chaos Lord dedicated to Khorne (because a berserker god of war who likes axes meshes well with Vikings) and was killed, anticlimactically, by a thunderbolt while fighting Harald Deathwolf.

* [[Crull]]: A Chaos Lord from Winter Assault notable only for making idiotic statements, and utilizing Sorcerers in his warband when there's some possessing to be done. Also has a weird way of saying "drown".

* [[Azariah Kyras]]: A Librarian who somehow became a Champion of Khorne and who ascended to daemonhood. Presumably, his [[Awesome|speaking skills were great enough that the Blood God was able to give him slight leeway in regards to the 'no Psyker rule']], likely because he was a philosopher of carrion and slaughter, showing Khorne's way as freedom, freedom in meaningless, in mindlessness, which he accuses the functionings of the universe of. Khorne loves that stuff, existentialism for skulls, especially when it's an arch-traitor responsible for the deaths of billions, then declaring openly his allegience of Chaos to his fellow Mehreens as he is about to ascend as one of the most powerful daemon princes ever. A psyker who uses psykic powers to bring about good old kinetic Exterminatus, their reputation to raise covert cults of slaughter, discover their lust for combat and seek to encompass it, and ultimatedly be the poster child of Khornist Existentialism is too good of a chance for Khorne to pass up, who either wins against the galaxy or gets to devour Kyras' soul in a good long bloodbashing and probably still make a good Greater Daemon of Khorne out of him, probably the one and only Chaos tactical genius who could actually lead a Black Crusade properly. That's another reason Khorne likes him. Kyras' no funny business style of simply tearing a sector apart however possible tends to draw other Chaos God devotees under the wing of a Khornate champion. Here is the speech of doom that he gives the player's army (before the last level of the game ) or per canon, the Blood Ravens following Captain Diomedes before the climax:

"Faithful... enlightened... ambitious... brethren.

In but a single decade, a few mere swipes of the pendulum, we have gathered a sacrifice to Khorne that will be made legend.Though it was a simpler, weaker voice that illuminated me during my centuries upon the Judgement of Carrion... it was Khorne's messenger that showed me the true path of freedom from our pathetic corpse-Emperor.

And what is this path? This meaning, this purpose to which we gather the skulls of our foes? It is nothing. There is no meaning, no purpose. We murder. We kill. It is mindless savagery, this UNIVERSE IS MINDLESS!

In mere hours, billions will die. Innocent! Guilty! Strong and weak! Honest and deceitful! ALL of them! They will scream, they will burn, and for no purpose but that mighty Khorne may revel in their bloodshed! And united in this void of purpose, fear, or duty... we shall at long last be free!

BLOOD! FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!! SKULLS! FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!! LET... THE GALAXY... BUUUURRRRNNN!!!"

Also notable as the single longest-to-fucking-kill-boss in the history of the Dawn of War series other than [[Ulkair]]. (Not that we haven't found ways to cheese him in under five minutes, namely Tyranids spamming warriors with venom upgrades alongside Hive Lord with his anti-daemon gun) Still, pure undiluted awesome.

===In Fantasy===
'''VIKINGS!!!''' '''VIIIIIIIIIIIIKIIIIIIIIIIIIINNGSSSSSSSS!!!'''

* [[Valkia the Bloody]]: A pissed off badass Valkyrie who chooses who will fight on in the Halls of the Blood God after they die in glorious battle. She managed to kill a motherfucking DAEMON PRINCE as a lowly, un-Marked, un-augmented human in SINGLE COMBAT to earn Khorne's favour, CUT ITS FUCKING HEAD OFF, AND THEN CARRIED IT BACK TO THE NORTH TO PLACE AT THE FOOT OF THE SKULL THRONE. And then she died on the way. But Khorne was so impressed by this badassery/pissed off by her death, he resurrected her as a fucking Daemon Princess. Now she flies around the battlefields of the world slaughtering anything that looks at her funny and bearing Norsemen to the Khorne's place for a glorious afterlife of fighting and drinking. She is also far more attractive than anything of Slaanesh's menagerie, much to the Prince of Pleasure's eternal rage and the Bloodfather's great amusement, primarily due to having hair.

* Garmr Hrodvitnir: Aka Billy Squigins, A Chaos Lord of Khorne who managed to almost kill Gotrek Fucking Gurnisson in a fight. 'Nuff said.

* Hrothgar Daemonaxe: A Chaos Lord who only had his rules and miniatures released at a Games Day. He had the statline of a Bloodthirster. His miniature also depicts him throttling an elf, which makes him a good person.

* Arbaal the Undefeated: Nicknamed 'Arbaal the Easily Defeatable' due to his rules from Champions of Chaos having been shockingly awful. Arbaal's been effectively retcon'd out of existence under the excuse that he's journeyed into the Realm of Chaos to challenge Khorne himself to a fight. <s>Good luck with that.</s> It went about as well as you expected.

* [[Scyla Anfingrimm]]: The greatest [[Chaos Spawn|You-Know-What]] ever to walk the earth. Scyla was a Chaos Lord of Khorne who got one too many mutations before his time and devolved into a YKW. But he's the most badass YKW ever, and is a leadership 10 general. Which is impressive considering the only thing he can say is "'''KILL FOR KHORNE! KILL FOR KHORNE! KILL FOR KHORNE!'''".

* Chaos Lord Varmisgal: A Chaos Lord who's blood has turned to liquid bronze. He is responsible for the stalking brass bull of Nuln and the great raid into the Misty Mountains... it is also alleged he ate his own penis.

* Valmir Aesling: A Norscan king and Champion of Khorne who destroyed the Norse Dwarf Hold of Kraka Drak. Managed to get a fucking Daemon Prince to work for him, slaughtered a metric fuck-ton of Norse Dwarfs (roughly 8 times the manliness of a regular Dwarf and thus worth 24 Space Wolves). [[Awesome|Also rode a motherfucking chariot pulled by skinless bears]].

* Egil Styrbjorn: A Norscan High Yarl of the Skaeligs and probably the greatest epitome of manliness a Chaos Warrior devoted to Khorne can achieve. He slew a lot and took names, kicked Bretonnian arses, sexed many women(all which said was impotent and didnt really find pleasure in, poor guy) yet never got a proper heir (only daughters). It was so bad for him that he adopted a boy that became later his personal shamanistic seer and advisor...that is until he banged a Kurgan Sorceress that was prophesied by said shaman to bear Egil's son, yet the damned cheese eating surrender monkeys took her and his unborn son away, which he answered them with apocalyptic RAAAAAGE and titanic slaughter (then again, said Sorceress wanted to sacrifice the unborn child for immortality, and she was actually possessing a Bretonnian noblewoman when doing deed with Egil so Egil's son was in that Bretonnian's womb and the Bretonnian Knights were rescuing her). And thus there was an epic campaign to retrieve the boy. Wields two badass flaming axes called Garmr and Gormr. Really dislikes the Lady of the Lake and other Southerner gods. So manly he is that he let a Grail Knight stab him only to throw back his sword to him. Also known for embodying Khorne's tactical take on war, which he mercilessly used against the Bretonnian Knights that stubbornly charged his warriors head on (until said knights realized that they were duped and slaughtered in seconds).

* [[Skarr Bloodwrath]]: Deranged respawning berserker with axes that double as flails. Joined [[Archaon]]'s posse during [[The End Times]] as one of the many Khornate forces that helped hasten the end of the world.

==Fun Khorne Facts==
* Interestingly the word "Khorne" in Ancient Cypriot Greek literally means to "Shit Blood". Kh' - "To force outward", ORN - "Back passage", Ee - "Blood".
*Doombreed, Khorne's second daemon prince servant, might actually be Genghis Khan himself.
*Khorne's looking for ways to incorporate dinosaurs into his armies, due to the sheer amount of [[RIP AND TEAR]] they can unleash on their enemies. He's unbelievably pissed that he hasn't managed to get any yet- '''{{Blam|YOU GAVE IT AWAY?!?!? FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUU}}'''
*Khorne <strike>secretly</strike> ''{{Blam|BLATANTLY}}''' hates everyone who kills the defenseless in his name. He'd plot ways to kill them, but he's too mad to do that. (So what else is new?)
*Khorne was just able to stand watching Jurassic World once it got going due to the Indominus Rex and how it made everything else look like bitches. He raged when it died. He's looking for its skull 'cause he wishes he could have it as one of his servants- *sounds of swords and blood* '''{{Blam|FAGGOT!}}''' (Why couldn't Khorne just seek the skull of the Mosasaurus that killed it? Or Rexie, T-rex is classic, I hear you say.) To that, I answer that coz without the Mosasaurus then Rex would'a DIED.
*Khorne is unsure whether or not he hates [[Cultist-chan]], due to a) the fact that she can't do anything except scream about 'kap-tooring eet for kay-oss' and get purged and b) the fact that she's so good at spreading [[RAEG]] amongst various unlucky meatsacks and fa/tg/uys. And that indecisiveness makes him foam at the mouth in an unending rage.
*Khorne practically invented flipping the table when you lose at card games, or it goes too slowly. He does this whenever the major Warp entities play cards in the Formless Wastes.
*Followers of Khorne actually have the ability to pull off [[LIIVI]]/[[Eldrad]] level dick-style moves in battle. They just choose not to do this.
*Khorne wanted [[Settra the Imperishable]] as one of his servants once. However, Settra won't ever serve Khorne, even going so far as to give ALL OF CHAOS the '''motherfucking middle finger''' before going off to hunt down [[Nagash]]. That said, Settra may well be one of the few mortal beings besides his own servants Khorne has any respect for. He still hates Settra though.
*Slaanesh once created some Kayos Spess Mehreens with his/her colour scheme, but with armour nicked off fallen Khornate warriors. And when Khorne saw this, '''his wrath was legendary'''.
*Slaanesh and Khorne also have regular 'plans' on Friday night- *sounds of something even bigger than a [[Bloodthirster]] coming through and much ripping and tearing* '''{{Blam|NO! YOU'RE LYING!}}'''
* [[Emperor|That Twat With The Chair]] and Khorne haven't '''SMACKED DOWN''' yet, but Khorne is secretly looking forward to it when it happens- he wants to test Spess Jaysis's might against his own. Tickets are now on sale!
*If an internet hyperlink comes up red, it's not because the page doesn't exist, it's because Khorne looked at what was once on the other end, and '''he didn't like what he saw''', so much so that the hyperlink is stained with the blood of what once was.
* Khorne's favorite form of grouping is in ogdoads, for reasons that should be obvious once you know what that word means.
* Khorne's favorite [[video game|vidja]] was [[Doom]]. he abandoned it in a strange combination of terror and appreciation once he learned it was Biographical/Autobiographical.
* If Khorne is acting calm towards you, don't relax. He doesn't like anything, he just hates some things less than others. There is such a thing as cold-hatred.
* Khorne was '''ALMOST''' pleased when [[Iskandar Khayon]] smashed his ship, the ''Tlaloc'', into the Slaaneshi world of Harmony, killing a whole shitload of Slaaneshi fucks and breaking the planet in half. Then he remembered Khayon was a damn Thousand Son Sorcerer. Fuck.
*Khorne will not stab you in the back. He will simply stab you in the face until your face stops resembling a face.
*Very few beings have ever earned Khorne's respect. but the most notable is the '''MOTHERFUCKING DOOMGUY!!!''' (another is Valen the ancestor of [[Kharn]]).
*DOOM 2016 <s>tells of a "Wretch" who made the Doom Slayer an adamantine Amour from the deepest parts of the forges of Hell. And since Khorne CAN craft absolute destructive Weapons and impenetrable Armour...</s> (he did not make the armor for him but he approves of him using it.)
*Khorne is mixed on snipers. Partly because they sneak and hide like pussies and don't get into a proper fight, and partly because headshots ruin perfectly good skulls. However, sniping is the most skillfull form of shooting.
*Khorne's favorite author is Sun Tzu. Three guesses why if you know what he's written.
*Khorne is the patron god of Chimpanzees (no seriously, look them up; those bastards are the fucking marauding barbarians of the jungle, especially since their cousins the Bonobos seem like milquetoast Slaanesh followers).
*Thanks to his relationship with Valkia the Bloody, Khorne may or may not be married to the devoted blood and gore addicted maiden of war.
*Despite his association with canines, Khorne also has a pet rabbit, which he [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmu5sRIizdw loaned out to appear in a certain comedy film].
*Khorne hates it when anyone calls U.S President Donald Trump a tyrant. Not because Khorne opposes tyranny (he doesn't) or because he likes Trump (Khorne hates everyone, Trump included), but because Trump hasn't slaughtered his many detractors, like an actual tyrant would've done long ago (eg; especially by not slaughtering the protestors, rioters and insurrectionists in the CHAZ/CHOP occupied zone).

==Gallery==
{{promotions}}
<gallery>
Image:Khornate.JPG|Khorne's followers off the battlefield. REVERSE ARMWRESTLE!!!
Image:khornewaffel.JPG|Waffles for the Blood God!
Image:Khornetrainer.JPG|Khorne's trainers prefer violent Pokémon.
Image:Khorne_tattoo.jpg|Mark of Khorne.
Image:Free like a riding demon by Ragathol.jpg|Khornette.
Image:Backwardsthrone.jpg|Just as Planned. Always. As. Planned.
File:Khornette.jpg|Khorne wants to know why the drawfags never give them noses.
File:Tea Time.jpg|In the grim darkness of the far future, there is still time for tea...
File:Khorne-Art.jpg|Warriors of Chaos: making everything in 40K look like bitches since 2002.
Image:You're_madder_than_Khorne.png|There '''is''' such a thing as being too mad for Khorne!
Image:Khorneholiover2.png |The [[Cornholio the Cultist|Great Khorneholio]]. He needs blood and skulls for his bunghole.
Image:Khorne-and-Slaanesh.jpg|Nine months later Khaine was born...
Image:Anon_pleases_Khorne.png|Who knew Berzerkers came in ''Shrimp'' size?
Image:Khorne Flakes.jpg|The tastiest of all! Add blood for more flavor.
</gallery>

==See also==

*[[Brass]]
*[[Berserker]] - Chaos Space Marines with Axes and a bad attitude.
*[[Angron]] - Daemon prince of Khorne and the Primarch of World Eaters.
*[[World Eaters]]
*[[Khârn|Khârn the Betrayer]] - A pretty fun guy to be around.
*[[Valkia the Bloody]] - Scarousal in it's purest form.
*[[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Khorne_Daemonkin(7E)|Tactics/Khorne Daemonkin]] - That's right, meatsacks! The servants of Khorne have their own codex!
*[[Age of Sigmar/Tactics/Chaos/Blades of Khorne|Tactics/Blades of Khorne]] - Khorne's servants in AoS.
*[[Rage]]
*[[Sorcerers of Khorne]] - Double heresy!
*[[Doombreed]] - One angry son of a bitch.
*[[Doom|the one guy Khorne respects]]
* This pretty much sums up his forces: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-gSJW3sHXE&feature=channel_video_title
*[[Katanas_are_Underpowered_in_d20#Khorne_is_underpowered_in_40k|Khorne is underpowered in 40k]]
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vljHBXA3UKE - death metal song devoted to Khorne.
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml3sjEiViXc - better death metal song.
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8mEOiI4pjs - thrash metal song summing up Khorne pretty well.
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edNUp4GkukI - can't forget the blackened thrash.
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUB9QGKCNmI - a bunch of anime Khorne worshippers. Better than it sounds.
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8mEOiI4pjs - another metal song devoted to Khorne. GW actually commissioned this one. Yes, they really were that awesome back in the day.

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[[Category:Warhammer 40,000]][[Category:Age of Sigmar]][[Category:Blades of Khorne]]